 
Other titles by Elizabeth Maxim

Fiction

Advantage*

Bishop Pair*

Zwischenzug*

Positional Play*

Simultaneous Display*

Pawn Storm*

Dark Bishop*

Pin*

Bind*

Diagonals*

Promotion*

Analysis*

_Adjudication_ _*_

Metatron's Legacy*

Cauldron of the Gods^

Chronicles 1: Karma*

* Metatron's Army

^ Dragon Core

Published by Doorways Publishing House

Copyright © 2020 by Elizabeth Maxim

All rights reserved.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the publisher except for the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

elizabethmaxim.com

# CHAPTER ONE

Portitch, New Mexico

2020

Jack Isaac had been sheriff in the small town in Northwest New Mexico for over a decade and a local his entire life and though there was a time when he raised hell and bent more than his share of rules he was proud of who he was and what he stood for, peace and order. Not that he always got what he wanted. In towns as small as Portitch with more time than employment trouble seemed to be as common as a storm in Monsoon Season.

It was with this in mind that he drove toward the old Davis place, a ranch whose owner had passed away some two years before.

" _There's lights on out at the Davis place."_

The call had come in just as he was heading home and since his own sprawling property butted up against the Davis Ranch, it was easy enough to check it out.

"God, I hope this isn't a squatter," he muttered. "That's all I need."

He had to admit, the idea it might be surprised him. While it was true no one lived there, the place was far from abandoned. For the past year a number of contractors had been in and out, presumably getting the place ready to sell. He knew Jamie had a daughter living somewhere in California, doubted she and her husband planned to move into a place that looked like a jigsaw puzzler's dream. Or nightmare depending on your point of view.

A new roof had been put on and he'd noted a number of vans, both local and not with logos that suggested the house was getting a badly needed makeover. With all that activity it was hard to believe someone would be so bold as to think they could just mosey on in without anyone being the wiser.

The dirt road that led past the Davis Ranch and ending at his property had gotten its own bit of makeover the previous fall and thanks to a mild winter was a relatively smooth ride. He could say with all honesty he didn't miss the obstacle course it had been though he often joked it kept his driving skills sharp as he tried to avoid the ruts and potholes.

Knowing there wasn't money in the kitty for such repairs he'd done most of the work himself, paying a few locals with beer and pizza for their help. It was the way of life in the small corner of the planet he called home.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?"

Not only were lights on but there was a black SUV in the driveway. He frowned. Squatters generally didn't drive brand new Pathfinders. Had Jamie's daughter come to put the place on the market? "Only one way to find out," he grumbled then pulled in behind the black Nissan.

Firing off texts to his deputy and to his wife – he was going to be a little late for dinner – he started toward the door.

* * *

When the doorbell rang, River wanted to jump for joy but knew doing so would wrench a back that had been bent over moving boxes for hours. Straightening with a groan she made her way to the front door. When she caught sight of the squad car in the driveway she grinned. "I wondered how long it'd take," she murmured then opened the door.

"Hello, Jack. It's been awhile. I have to admit, I was expecting you earlier." She stepped back. "Wanna come in?"

"River?" the good sheriff said with a look of what could only be called incredulity on his face.

"In the flesh," she confirmed. "Are you going to come in?"

"Oh. Sure." The good sheriff dragged a hand down his face. "I – you're the last person I ever thought to see here, girl. Where -? What -?"

She laughed. "So many questions. Why don't I answer them over a beer? I assume you're on your way home?"

"Now why am I'm getting the idea you know more about me and my habits than you should?"

She shut the door and led the officer through the maze of boxes - some of them even open - to the kitchen. "Because you know Jamie was as big a gossip as you. Want a beer?"

"Um, I do but -."

"On duty?"

"No! Aw, hell no. It's just." His mind raced. He gestured toward the chaos. "Can you take a break from this?"

"Oh, god yes. Are you kidding? I feel like I've been unpacking for years." She held up her hands, topside out. "I filed my nails down before I started and damn if they didn't rip anyway!" She frowned at them. "At least I got all the dirt out." She glanced up. "I was cleaning out the barn earlier. What a mess."

"Why on earth were you doing that? Are you thinking of boarding horses?" He held up a hand. "Wait. Are you planning on living here?"

"I am." She sighed. "I had enough."

"Of what?"

"LA. I'm ready for a bit of peace and quiet."

"Oh, you'll get plenty of that here."

"And no light pollution," she added. "Are you sure you don't want a beer?"

"No. I mean yes, I do but Marlene is expecting me home for dinner. We're watching little Jack while his parents are taking a badly needed vacation. But," he quickly added, "I think you definitely need a break from this madness."

River fully expected the sheriff, who'd been a good friend to her granddad, to invite her to dinner. Instead...

"I'd like to introduce you to your neighbor."

"Huh?"

"He -. You remember that old barn on my farm? The one close to the property line?"

"The one that looked as if it was ready to collapse?" As she recalled he built a new one but never got around to tearing the old one down for some reason.

"That'd be the one. We rehabbed it four years' back, turned it into a nice little home. I lease it out to my deputy."

"Nice employment perk."

"Yeah, well, it's helped out in more ways than you can imagine. Come on, let's go."

"Um, I don't like inviting myself over to a stranger's home."

"Oh, don't worry, Justin won't mind."

"Won't his wife?"

"Would you just come? Here, if it will make you feel better, I'll text him, give him a head's up we're on our way. Stop worrin' already! There, see?" He turned the phone. "It's all good."

Locking the door, she followed him to the driveway.

"Oh, there's no need to drive. Justin can bring you back."

"I -."

"You don't mind ridin' in the back of the squad car," he questioned.

"Of course not," she shot back with an impish smile before opening the door and sliding into the back seat. "It's not as if I've done anything wrong though I suppose it will give the neighbors something to talk about."

Jack glanced over his shoulder. "I have a scary feeling you're everything your grandpa Jamie told me."

Rather than commenting she pointed. "He's waiting, right?"

Jack shook his head. _Just like Jamie._ As he got close to the property line he grinned. Life in his little corner of the planet was about to get more interesting it would seem.

* * *

Justin wasn't sure what to expect when he opened the door – his boss had been pretty evasive about who it was he was bringing over – but the pretty brunette standing awkwardly next to the man in uniform was definitely not it.

"Aren't you going to invite us in?" Jack said even as the woman, who was blushing furiously told him that if it wasn't a good time she could come back. It was her discomfiture – that his hesitation was responsible for it – that set him in motion. Backward. Rolling the wheelchair away from the front entrance he assured the woman looking lost that yes, it was a good time and she was welcome.

Jack breezed past him into his kitchen, opened the fridge. "What's your poison?" he called.

River held her hand out to the deputy as she answered. "Whatever isn't cheap and watery." She looked into eyes that were more grey than blue. "I'm River Davis."

"Jamie's granddaughter?" the handsome man asked shaking her hand. "Justin Meyers."

"Nice to meet you Justin and yes, I'm Jamie's granddaughter."

"That's _Deputy_ Meyers," Jack clarified handing each one a beer.

"Wow," she said accepting the Red Hook. "Talk about a welcome. _Two_ cops as neighbors?" She clicked the bottle against the deputy's. "Talk about feeling safe!"

"Listen," Jack said opening the door. "Marlene's expecting me. You can get her home, right?"

"I can," Justin assured, his eyes on the pretty woman who looked as if she wasn't sure whether to laugh, cry, or run. The door clicked shut.

"Would you like to sit down?"

For whatever reason – and thank god – the question snapped River out of whatever daydream she'd fallen into. Probably the one looking up at her with the devil's own smile. "I'd like that very much. I feel like I've been unpacking for hours. But seriously, is this okay? I don't want to -."

"It's fine," he promised then wheeled into the living room.

"This is -." She took in pine boards, hardwood floors that looked to be repurposed from some other structure. "I love that you kept the guts of the place." She dropped into a leather chair that had seen better days and sipped the red ale, taking the opportunity to look at the deputy. He had black hair and a medium build. She guessed him to be six feet give or take. He was fit but not overly bulked up on top. She noted the chair was electric though he wheeled it himself.

"It wasn't easy," he stated drawing her away from her assessment. "Worm holes, wood rot."

"Termites?"

"Thankfully, no. You've sure had the tongues waggin'."

She tilted her head. She hadn't been in town more than two days.

"All those contractors comin' and goin'."

"Oh, you mean replacing the furnace."

"You did more than that."

She nodded. "The place needed work."

"It did at that. As you can imagine, I was a frequent visitor to your granddad." He took a long pull. "I miss that old man."

She nodded. "So do I."

"Never saw you visit much."

River wasn't offended by the implication. Most people including her mother didn't understand the relationship she'd shared with the retired Air Force pilot. "In the age of mobility -."

"Seems like -."

"You're taking a lot for granted, aren't you?" she interrupted. "You assume my grandfather was unhappy with the situation." When nothing was further from the truth. "You also forget he was in the Air Force. He wasn't around too much while my mom was growing up thanks to a number of conflicts that called him away and yet he always found a way. Just as we did. First snail mail then email and then the wonders of video and cellular. He wasn't unhappy but he was proud. And," she finished, "I also traveled. For work."

Justin had to admit he was impressed. The woman had given him a damn good set down without missing a beat or losing her manners. He decided he would replay the scene later while he was staring up at the ceiling and hoping sleep was in his future. Something told him the leggy brunette with green eyes would be at least partially responsible for not succeeding in that endeavor.

"What do you do for a living that you traveled?"

"I'm a consultant for the stars."

A -? He was further intrigued. "What does that entail? Midnight calls for therapy or something?"

"Huh?"

"Are you a talent agent?"

She pointed toward the ceiling. "Those stars. I'm an astromechanic."

Jamie wheeled toward the kitchen. "Want another?" he called.

"Yes, please," she replied delighted she'd thrown him off. She knew damn well how she was going to be viewed in the small town; showing up out of nowhere having inherited her granddad's sprawling ranch. Coming from LA? She would be labeled spoiled which would likely translate to a great deal of frost coming her way. She figured if she drew first blood as it were, she'd at least give herself a fighting chance against the bored who would be all ears when Justin filled them in on the new kid in town. She hoped the handsome man making his way back to her would ease the way but for that to be the case she needed him to understand she was self-made, not spoiled.

"Thank you," she said then smiled when he tipped his bottle to hers.

"So, what does an astromechanic do?"

"I make precision parts for telescopes and other astronomical doo dads."

"Doo dads? Is that an official term?"

"Definitely."

"What are you doing here?"

"Escaping pollution," she said dryly. "Noise, air, and most importantly, light. Oh, and time, too, I suppose."

"Time pollution?"

"When you live in LA you find yourself married to your car with a spouse the _other_ man."

"You married?"

"Oh, heck no. No time."

"The car?"

She shook her head. "Work. I had a place in LA but ended up subletting it more often than not."

"Off looking at the stars?"

River appreciated the smart-ass undertones. "Just so."

"Where have you gone?"

"All over Arizona though I'm a frequent visitor to Texas and Florida."

"NASA."

"And some of the businesses that cater to them."

"Cater?"

"There are a number of private businesses that employ people like me."

"You mean like SpaceX?"

"Kind of but I'm talking smaller. Like think tanks for space. We learned a lot after the oil embargo."

"What do you mean?"

"Government quit investing in the space program. Lots of brilliant minds out of work as their programs lost funding. Hard for PhDs to find work during an economic downturn. A lot of them died. Young, too."

He frowned. _Died?_ From what?

"When the autopsies were performed, they found that these men who were in their thirties had white scars on their hearts."

"From what?"

"Cortisol burns. Scars from constant stress at never knowing whether or not their projects would have the funding yanked because a new political party was in the White House or losing their jobs and not being able to find work so they could feed their families."

"You'd think -."

"PhD in astrophysics? These guys were sometimes lucky to get jobs pumping gas. Where else were they going to work?"

"A university?"

"Full. Someone would have to leave or retire for that to happen and let me tell you those people have to be shoved out the door." Tenure was a prized possession.

Justin had never given much thought to what life was like for researchers, outside the oil and gas industry. Thanks to Farmington, New Mexico, not to mention their neighbor to the north, Colorado, he knew all about that lucrative path. "Where else have you traveled?"

"Chile, South Africa, Hawaii. Spent some time in Germany, too."

"Wow. And now?" He swept out a hand to indicate modest furnishings. "Seems like this will be a hell of a letdown after all that."

"Oh, I don't know. There's pros and cons to both, I suppose but I started to tire of living out of a suitcase for three and six months at a time about two years ago."

"Why two years ago?"

She shrugged. "Nothing too existential. I just decided it was time to plan my exit strategy."

"Which means what? Are you hungry? I have some pizza in the freezer if you want."

"If you don't mind, that sounds awesome." She had the frozen pizzas, just nothing to serve them on. Unpacked, that is. Moving was tedious.

"I don't mind."

# CHAPTER TWO

"So, tell me about this exit plan."

Setting the last plate on the counter to drain dry, River followed Justin back to the living room. "Thanks for dinner."

"Thanks for cleaning up."

"So, my exit plan," she said dropping into the comfy leather chair. "I was keeping up with my grandfather, sending him photos of beautiful places."

"Let me guess. Black or purple or some other shade of dark that allowed him to see what you saw in the heavens."

"Good guess. I did send photos of mountain paths, interesting species I saw along the way. Animals, too."

He grinned. River Davis certainly had spirit. He couldn't say she looked much like her granddad though she had his spunk and attitude. He really did miss the old man who'd become a good friend. He really owed him. The idea of having this feisty woman as a neighbor was waking things in him he'd shoved into a mental closet then slammed a padlock on.

"I just got tired of it all. The competition. The need to be first. Oh, not everyone is so competitive but the whole academic thing got stale. Then it got political which was worse. It's funny because we were thrilled when international doors were opened in the Obama era, but the US isn't the only country to experience political fluctuations. And you have the fact some of the other countries have different ideas of what is -." She searched for a word. "Let's just say there are purists and there are those who are more relaxed."

"Purists?"

"They take hardline definitions. Like the fact in Canada you can't use the title engineer unless you are technically certified as one." When he looked confused, she elaborated. "There are plenty of technical folks in the US – some of whom are EEs or MEs or the like – who have software engineer or some other type of engineer on their business card, but they aren't certified as that. In Canada it's illegal. Even though both have the same education and are qualified to do the work."

"So, it comes down to semantics."

"Yes, and that gets bureaucratic."

He could see that kind of environment being a challenge, especially for someone like River who seemed to be a no-nonsense roll the sleeves up and get it done person.

"So," she said stifling a yawn, "Jamie helped me put a strategy in place to get here from there."

"Though I'd love to hear about it I can see you're tired. Let me get you home."

* * *

"Thanks for the break," River said to the handsome man behind the wheel. "And for not making me ride in the back of the patrol car." He'd driven her in his personal car, an old Buick.

" _It was easy to retrofit for hand controls and it's a comfy ride on this dirt road."_

He grinned. "I only take that baby when I go into the station." When she sighed he angled his head in invitation.

"The thought of what waits," she said with a weary smile. "I'll be staring at the ceiling in the bedroom trying to figure out which box has my frying pan and scramble kit. I've moved around a lot," she explained in response to his puzzled expression, and mouthed _scrambled_ _kit?_ "and it's tedious but I've learned little tricks over the years. One was to get the goods to make scrambled eggs for my first breakfast. Just a bit of normalcy." When he nodded, she continued. "I need the pan and the utensils, right? So, I got this clever idea that I would fill a zippy with -."

"A zippy?"

"Ziplock bag."

"Ah."

"So, I'd fill one with everything I need for that first meal. I put it in my frying pan and wrapped it up and made sure it was at the top of my kitchen box."

"Sounds very organized." And very River.

"Well," she said drawing the word out, "I reused some boxes from previous moves."

"Let me guess. You have multiple boxes marked kitchen."

"Yep." She dropped her face in her hands. "Maybe I'll just go to Mickey D's and get an egg McMuffin."

"Or you could come home with me."

Not sure what to say, River stared into eyes of light grey.

"I have a guest room and so long as none of it has moved in the last twenty-four hours, I know where all my breakfast gear is."

"On one condition," she responded. "I bring the eggs."

* * *

It wasn't until she was standing in the doorway to the guest bedroom that River realized in her rush to get back to the car, she'd failed to grab pajamas or a toothbrush.

"Something wrong?"

She turned. "I don't suppose you have an extra toothbrush floating around?" There was no way she was going to ask him to drive her home again and she was more than happy to sleep in her t-shirt.

"As a matter of fact," he answered wheeling over to a small door. "My sister Kelly has turned into a frequent enough visitor that I began keeping extra stuff around." He glanced over. "I don't suppose you brought pajamas either. If you want, you can borrow Kelly's flannels. They're clean." He handed her a toothbrush and travel sized toothpaste. "In the top drawer on the left. She's a little taller than you and heavier but they'll work."

"Thank you."

He pointed. "My room. If you need anything."

* * *

"I give up," Justin hissed to no one in particular before sitting up and getting himself into the wheelchair. On a good night sleep was a hit or miss proposition but with a most intriguing guest sleeping nearby it was a forgone conclusion it would be long in coming. "May as well make the most of it," he groused then started down the hall, glancing over when he passed the room River was sleeping in. He frowned, backed up.

"You okay?" he asked from the doorway.

"I'm fine," she replied.

Edging the door wider he wheeled over to the bed. "Try again. Is it because you're in a strange man's house? I promise you I'm trustworthy."

"It isn't that," she answered. "And I know you're trustworthy."

"Because I'm a deputy?"

_Because Jamie told me all about you._ "Because Jack was anxious for me to meet you. I've known Jack since I was a little girl. He would never have brought me here if you weren't a good guy."

A small smile was there and gone. A good guy, huh? No sense in not living up to the hype. He reached out a hand. "Come on. I have something to show you."

River kept her hand in his as he allowed the chair to drive. When she saw where they were headed, she gasped. "Justin, this is incredible!"

"I think so," he answered then continued over to a sectional pushed into a corner. "Have a seat."

"I -."

"Go on. I'll get in next to you if you don't mind. So I can share the view."

River crawled onto the overstuffed sofa, scooted over and watched as he maneuvered his way on. It was all she could do not to sidle over. Yes, she was wearing flannels but the room wasn't what she'd call all-weather, incredible as it was.

"It was your granddad's idea."

She gave him her attention.

"I was having a tough time after -."

"Right."

"Cabin fever doesn't begin to describe how I felt. He said I needed something to engage my senses, pull me out of myself." He nodded toward the room that though originally designed as a greenhouse ended up being part solarium, part planetarium.

"I mentioned it to my sister who high-tailed it down from Colorado Springs."

"Is she an architect?"

"Interior designer. Next thing I know I have an addition on my house that allows me to look up at the stars when I want and where I grow enough food to feed a small army." He winced. "Not everyone was happy."

"Huh?"

"The farmer's market didn't appreciate me giving stuff away. In my defense? There's only so much zucchini bread I can make."

She laughed. "I can picture it." She stared up, tried not to notice when he reached his arm back, drew her close. When she could no longer pretend, she glanced over.

"You're tired," he said by way of explanation.

Deciding there were worse things than snuggling against a warm handsome man beneath starry skies, she laid her head on his shoulder, allowed the tension to seep from her body. "Must be noisy when a storm hits," she observed.

"Especially when it hails. That's where Kelly saved the day. She knew the right materials and more importantly, the right installers."

Letting out a long sigh she enjoyed the feel of her body sinking into the soft sofa. "How often do you come out here?" she asked though she could guess.

"Yeah, okay. Most nights."

"So -."

"And you? Something tells me you aren't much for sleeping at night." He pointed at a sky filled with stars and a handful of planets viewable at that time of year. "Occupational hazard, right?"

She shrugged, apologized as she jabbed him in the ribs.

"I'm not that fragile," he defended.

"You're not fragile at all," she said softly, "are you?"

" _It's a tough one who gets back up again when life knocks 'em down. Justin's tough."_

Her grandfather had been so very right about that.

It was all Justin could do not to kiss the pretty woman staring up at him. "No," he admitted. "I'm not."

"No one who decides to go into law enforcement of any kind is."

"Oh."

"You thought I meant -?"

"Most people -."

"I'm not most people."

He sighed. "No, you aren't and Jamie warned me you weren't."

"Warned you?"

"He figured someday I'd meet you and warned me not to stereotype."

"I can't even imagine what he meant by that. Stereotype what? That I'm a woman? A space geek? From Los Angeles? An only child?"

"I get your point," he murmured grabbing a hand that had gone into motion as she explored the possibilities. "He never got that specific. You haven't asked," he said after a period of silence during which they studied the night sky.

"I figured you'd tell me when you were ready."

Justin took a moment to enjoy the feel of a warm soft body pressed against him. Not to mention she smelled good. "It was an infection. The bacteria attacked nerve endings in my spine, caused a degeneration that eventually -."

"I'm sorry."

"They were able to halt the infection before it got life-threatening and an injection of interferon halted the paralysis. I'm not paralyzed from the waist down, just from the knees down though I don't have a lot of feeling in my thighs. Some, though."

"How long did it -?" She shut her mouth. "Forget it. I don't need to know -."

"Eight months." He placed a kiss to the top of her head, squeezed her shoulders. "I can talk about it. Now."

"Don't talk about anything you don't want to."

"Your grandad pushed on that, too. He said it was better to get it all out in the open. _People stare. People pity._ He told me that would never change so the best defense in this case was a good offense."

"He played for the Air Force."

He nodded. "So did I."

"You were in the Air Force?"

"I was."

"Is that how you met Jamie?" She knew the story but wanted to hear it from him.

"No. I -." He took a deep breath. "You know about the lights, right?"

"The lights?"

"As you can imagine we have quite the reputation here for phenomena that inspires legends if not outright conspiracy."

"Just so I'm clear, where is here?"

"New Mexico. Los Alamos, Sandia Labs. Roswell. Lots of open space, superstitious people."

"What are you saying you guys have a UFO problem?"

"I wish. Does wonders for Roswell's economy. Let's just say we have our share of unexplainable stuff."

"Like the Taos hum?"

"And lights and other phenomena only some of which can be explained by weather."

"So, the lights?"

"There'd be atmospheric phenomena -."

She pressed a kiss to his lips. "You like that word, don't you? Phenomena."

"It's come in handy more times than I can count. You can't imagine the calls that come in."

"Actually, I can. I've had to wade through picket lines of conspiracy theorists and dooms-dayers demanding to know the truth." She shook her head. "I was a student when the whole 2012 thing was going down. I felt so sorry for the grad students trying to finish their research." Her eyelids grew heavy. "Crazy," she mumbled.

Justin gazed down at closed eyelids, resisted the urge to join her, but he was a gentleman. So, with a sigh of the somewhat aggrieved he reached back, grabbed up an afghan given to him by a Ute as a thank you for getting her grandson on the straight and narrow, spread it over River. With a last glance at the night sky he eased into to the wheelchair as quietly as he could then made his way back to bed. With her scent on him, he thought, he just might be able to sleep.

* * *

The smell of bacon teased River awake. Opening her eyes, she stretched, stared up at a sky just turning from grey to pink. She caught the scent of one handsome deputy as she swam her way out of the fluffy sofa that threatened to swallow her. She guessed the overstuffed sectional was chosen to ease Justin's recovery. Not wanting to think of the pain he must have suffered she pushed herself up then made for the kitchen.

"How can I help?"

Justin took in shoulder-length hair that, having been slept on, was playfully defying gravity. She must have guessed at the reason behind his amused expression because she pushed a hand through her hair in an attempt to tame it. He crooked his finger, waited til she bent down before lending a helping hand. "Ready for the runway, as my mom used to say."

"Were you a model?"

"My sisters and me. Luke decided to take the path of brains over beauty."

"Huh?"

He laughed. "Family joke. He's a doctor in Albuquerque. Pediatrician."

"Is there anything I can do?"

Oh, there were plenty of ideas that came to mind but rather than giving voice to them, he pointed. "If you want to make some coffee. I was waiting til you got up before grinding the beans."

River eyed the espresso machine. "Beans I can do. That?" She shook her head. "I push a button."

"Then how bout you scramble those eggs and I'll do the espresso."

"So long as you make mine a double shot, I'm in."

"You're a gutsy bargainer," he teased as he swapped spots with her. "Spend the night on my sofa then make demands."

She leaned close. "Talk to me after you taste my eggs, lover boy." And with that, she opened the fridge.

They'd just sat down when the front door opened. Justin was quick to reassure the pretty brunette. "It's only Jack."

_Only Jack._ She let out a slow breath. Well, they'd see about that.

# CHAPTER THREE

"Those are Kelly's pajamas."

"Good morning to you too," River replied with an expression that dared him to criticize. She was a grown woman but more, nothing had happened.

"Nothing happened," Justin blurted.

She looked over at the deputy. Was he ashamed?

"Well," he protested squirming beneath her gaze, "it's true."

He was blushing! Why on -? Small town, she reminded herself. Jack was probably like a second dad. She smiled up at the good sheriff. "Can I get you some eggs and bacon?"

"No thanks," he stammered, his eyes moving between the two of them. "I had breakfast at home."

"How bout some coffee then," she countered and without waiting for an answer, started for the machine.

"Let me," Justin insisted, nudging her aside. "This one you made was a good start, but you need more practice."

"Is that your polite way of telling me my espresso sucks?"

Jack stared at the young pair maneuvering in front of the coffee maker with no small amount of interest but a great deal of discomfort. He'd stopped by intending to ask his deputy what he thought of Jamie's granddaughter, never dreaming he'd find her sitting at the kitchen table in his sister's pajamas.

" _Nothing happened."_

He wasn't sure what to make of the blush that swept across Justin's forehead. A slow grin spread across his face as he realized he had the answer he'd come for. That blush told him exactly what the young man who'd come to work for him straight from the Air Force thought of the pretty brunette. He couldn't wait to tell Marlene.

"Will you have a seat?" River asked setting the demitasse cup on the table in front of an empty chair. "And how about some bacon? There's more here than we'll finish." Which told her Justin had been expecting Jack. Which further told her, she supposed, that he wanted him to see her in his sister's pajamas. Ego? She doubted it. Taking a seat, she scooped eggs onto her fork and asked if Jack would drop her home on the way to the station.

* * *

Jack looked over his shoulder at the woman in the back of the squad car. "You haven't asked me."

"Asked you what?"

"About why I have a deputy in a wheelchair."

She shrugged. "Just because he can't run doesn't mean he can't help you with law enforcement. Plenty of people behind a desk for any number of reasons. From what I can tell he has a sharp intellect. He grew up around here, knows the people. I imagine he's an incredible help to you. Hell, he probably saves you time and effort by sifting through situations and helping you decide what needs your attention and what can be delegated."

"Your granddad always said you were smart," he managed after a moment of shocked silence. He pursed his lips, considered his next works, that they would either send a message or piss her off. Better to see where she stood right off since they were going to be neighbors. "So, Justin. You aren't playing with him, right?"

"Not yet," she replied then opened the door but rather than going into the house she came around to the driver's side window. "I appreciate that you care about him, Jack but what Justin and I do is none of your damn business. It's no one's business but ours. He and I are grown adults."

"I didn't mean -."

"Of course, you did and I can guess why. I'm an unknown. You think I just came waltzing in here from the big city, inheriting my grandfather's house -."

Jack got out of the car. If he was going to get a tongue lashing, he was not taking it sitting down. "I do not think -."

"For your information," she snapped pointing at the house, "I bought the place. You got that? I did _not_ inherit it. I bought it from Jamie two years ago. _I_ paid for all the renovations – even did some of them myself. I did it so Jamie would have a good life for however long he lived here."

Jack stared. He _had_ believed she inherited the place but hadn't given it a second thought beyond being surprised to learn she planned to live there. "Does Justin know this?"

"We never got around to talking about it."

He flushed.

"Not because of _that,"_ she snapped exasperated. Part of her couldn't believe she was having the conversation she was having. Her parents didn't even give her the third degree about her sex life! "Like he told you, nothing happened. He actually drove me back but when I made a comment about lying awake wondering where my stuff was – which boxes – he invited me to sleep in his guest bedroom. He pointed out I wouldn't be able to unpack from there so maybe I'd get a better night's sleep. But I still had trouble sleeping so he invited me to that incredible room -."

"The solarium?"

"Yes. We sat til the wee hours watching the stars not talking about much until I fell asleep on the sofa. I assume he slept in his own room but can't say for sure because I fell asleep first. Satisfied?"

Jack shook his head slowly. "I can't remember the last time I've had a set down the likes of the one you just gave me River Davis. And yeah, I suppose I did deserve it a little. But I really didn't mean -." He drew a hand down his face. He _had_ meant. It was the whole reason he'd wanted to introduce her to Justin. He just hadn't considered that it would have gone so far so fast. "I apologize. I meant no offense."

"I'm sure you didn't," she responded in a very academic no-nonsense tone. "Thanks for the ride. And if you're interested, I invited him to dinner on Saturday."

_Speaking of dinner._ "Marlene asked if you'd like to come to dinner at our place tonight. She figured you wouldn't have gotten your essentials unpacked yet."

"I haven't," she agreed. "And yes, I'll be happy to come. Tell her thank you. What time and what can I bring?"

"We eat a little later because of my hours. Is seven okay with you? And you don't have to bring anything but yourself. You're the guest."

"Seven it is." But she would at least bring flowers. Her grandfather taught her early - never to show up empty handed.

* * *

River slipped the key into the padlock, turned it. Sliding it out she pushed the steel plate back repeating the action until she was able to roll the barn door back. Flipping on the phone light she stepped into the dark interior and made for the pull switch. Blinking against the sudden harsh light she counted the steps to the trap door in the floor. Kneeling she pushed bits of straw aside then proceeded to unlock yet another padlock. It took a fair bit of maneuvering but thanks to the pressure hinges she installed before Jamie passed away, she was able to get the door open. Holding the phone in front of her she proceeded down cedar steps that led to a room that went the length of the barn. The cool air was musty but that was to be expected she supposed. The last time she talked to her grandfather, he told her he hadn't been down in several months. She guessed it was closer to a year. He hadn't wanted her knowing his health was failing.

Stepping over to a cedar shelf built into the wall she hit a button satisfied yet unsurprised to hear the soft whirring of a circulation system installed long ago. Over the years she'd visited regularly, to see her grandfather and do whatever maintenance was needed to keep things running smoothly. She flipped a switch and the room was bathed in light that wasn't nearly as harsh. It was like stepping into a time capsule. Nothing had changed. Nothing.

Blowing out a long sigh she walked to a drafting table set against the opposite wall, ran a finger over the blank sheet of paper on top, noting the feel of grooves from whatever drawing had been there before. She moved to a workbench, drew a hand over tools that gleamed; tools she knew how to use.

" _I don't understand, Dodi. Why can't you stay?"_

" _You know why."_

The memory came and went in a flash but not before leaving her heart feeling as if someone put a knife in it. She looked at a large worktable in the center of the space, at the objects strewn across it. As she walked toward it, she tried to shake the feeling of walking through the ghosts of those who'd worked alongside her. Blinking against the burn in her eyes, she fingered what looked like a wind chime.

" _Like this, Dodi?"_

" _Close. Here, let me show you."_

Picking it up she let the melody of metal discs gently clinking off one another wash through her before bringing it to rest against her cheek. She closed her eyes as metal cooled her skin. "I miss you, Dodi," she whispered.

"He misses you, too, River."

River spun around, the abrupt motion sending the discs clinking harshly against each other. "Krissoff. What are you doing here?"

The man who'd played a significant role in her choice of careers stepped from the shadows, laid long fingers against her cheek. "I came to check on you. How are you, River?" He took the chime. "Will you put it up then?"

She nodded, swiped at her cheek. "It's time."

It was long past time, he thought but kept quiet. "If it eases you, there isn't a day that goes by that he doesn't speak of you."

"Thank you," she whispered. "It does. I miss him so much."

"I know and so does he. And, he feels the same. You're the only one he has ever loved." He paused, considered whether or not his next words would help or only cause more heartache. "He still loves you."

She nodded. "I love him. Will you tell him?"

"Yes, though I think he knows." More than once he'd claimed he could feel it.

" _Every moment of the day."_

" _Then let it sustain you."_

"Will it cause problems for you here?" he asked. It was the real reason he'd decided to show himself after such a long absence.

"You mean with Justin? No. I can handle that."

But will you let yourself love, he wanted to ask. Instead, "Excellent." He looked around the workshop. "Is there anything you need?" He handed back the chime.

"No. I don't – it looks bare because the rest of my stuff hasn't arrived yet."

"Will you need help setting up once it does?"

"I don't think so. I have some people who would be happy to come and help but if it will make you feel better, you're welcome to stop in and check on the progress."

Leaving his hand to her cheek he spoke. "I will. How soon before the equipment starts arriving?"

"The shipments are staggered but it should all be here within three months."

"And when will you do the install?"

"I'm not sure. I hope so but I'm still trying to decide if it's all going to go in the barn or if I'm going to put some in the house."

"I'll come by in four months and see where you are with things."

"Thanks, Krissoff."

He gazed into eyes brightened by unshed tears. "I, too, have feelings for you."

She put a hand over his on her cheek. "I know and I care for you. You are welcome here."

* * *

Justin turned down the dirt road that ended at a Y leading to his and Jack's driveways. He hadn't driven but a few yards before he saw the lights. His pulse quickened. It was the first time he'd seen them during the day. Well, somewhat day. The sun was definitely headed past the horizon but there was still enough light that he could see the direction they were coming from. River's yard. He pressed the accelerator, bits of dust kicking up as rocks scattered from beneath the tires.

* * *

River wasn't quite to the top of the steps when she heard shouting. Running up the rest of the way she slammed the door shut, locked it, and kicked hay over the space before running toward the barn door.

"River!"

"Justin?" She met him halfway to the barn. "What's the matter? Why were you shouting?"

"Are you alright?"

"Am I alright? Why wouldn't I be?"

"The lights!"

She frowned. "What lights? Wait. Here, hold this please." She set the chime in his lap then ran back to lock up the barn. "Okay," she said a little breathless. "What lights?" She put a hand to his shoulder. "Justin, you're shaking. What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? The lights, that's what's wrong!"

"Okay. Let's go inside, okay?"

"No!"

"Alright. What then?"

"What is this?"

She took the chime from him, held it up, smiling at the sound it made in the late spring breeze. "It's a project I made when I was younger. I was going to hang it." When he didn't say anything, she shook her head. "I don't understand. What's – what lights?"

"Why were you in the barn? What were you doing?"

"I was down in the workshop," she answered knowing Jamie had taken him down years ago, before an infection took the use of his legs. "I'm going to be using it. I needed to see the state of things." She jangled the rope. "This was on a table so I grabbed it. I thought it would be nice to hang it. I heard you shouting as I was coming up the stairs."

"And you didn't see the lights."

"I didn't see any lights other than the ones I turned on."

Justin frowned. It was plausible, he supposed. The lights he'd seen had been coming from the opposite side of the barn, not within it.

"Are you sure you don't want to go inside?"

"Fine," he snapped then moved the wheelchair so she could move past.

* * *

River was about to go to the fridge, pivoted and made for the dining room table. She pulled two bottles out of a box, held them up. "Whiskey or tequila?" When he pointed, she set the whiskey on the table and made for another box. "If you hold this," she said handing him the Sauza Blue, "I can wash a shot glass for you."

"Are you -?"

"I'll have a beer." She pointed. "I think that will do you but you can have a beer after if you want. Or," she said drawing the word out, "you can stay for dinner and I can make us both a margarita."

"I -."

"I have the stuff for tacos. If you don't mind store bought. I haven't had time to get the spices unpacked and organized."

"I -."

"You can still come to dinner Saturday, if that's what you're worried about."

* * *

Justin set the empty shot glass on the counter. "Can I at least make the margaritas?"

Not turning away from the browning beef, she pointed. "Everything for the bar is in the boxes on the table and those two chairs." When he opened her freezer. she spoke. "I make homemade ice cubes. I can't stand that automatic crap. Talk about chemicals. I haven't had time to get them into the thing, so you'll need to pull the containers."

"The thing?" he asked reaching for colorful ice trays.

"I spend a week or two making homemade ice cubes, dumping them into the tray where the ice maker would dump them if it was turned on. I haven't had time so if you just want to pop them and then refill the trays that'd be great."

It was as if they'd lived together for years, knew each other's routines. Or maybe it was just that each had spent a fair number of hours in that kitchen with Jamie, albeit separately. Within an hour they were sitting on the living room floor eating tacos and Spanish rice and finishing a pitcher of margaritas.

"What has you so spooked about the lights? And what lights?"

It was only because he'd had two drinks that he could bring himself to talk about it.

"Wait. Are these the lights you were talking about the other night?"

# CHAPTER FOUR

"Yes," Justin replied refilling her glass. "For years the station – even the Air Force has received calls from residents about weird lights, - in the sky, on the horizon, hell in people's yards. Over time they posted photos and then videos." He looked into green eyes. "A number of the calls were about lights on your granddad's property."

She nodded. "It makes sense. He's had a workshop in the barn for as long as I can remember. As you know, he restored old airplanes."

"And after he retired there was no need for bankers' hours." He sighed. "I tried to explain that to folks but -." He took a long drink. "Call it karma or whatever but once I moved into that house that borders your property? Hell, _I_ used to see weird lights and damn if they didn't all seem to be coming from the area near the barn."

"What'd they look like? And were they hovering over the barn? Inside the barn?"

"On the far side of it. Near that old trap door."

"You know we bricked that in," she explained as she refilled his glass. "I'm going to put these in the sink." She held up a pitcher that was relatively empty, looked at him questioningly.

"If I drink another round I'll be in trouble."

"Work?"

"Not work."

It was amazing, River decided as she carried the dirty plates to the kitchen, how fast the blood could rush to certain places in the body. Rather than setting them in the sink she took the time to wash them, put them on the counter to drain. Only then, when the thought of making love with Justin Meyers had waned a bit, did she make her way back to the living room.

"How would you get out if there was a fire?" he asked as she took a seat cross-legged across from where he rested against the sofa.

"We -." She stopped. " _I_ built something new. Something safer. It's behind the drafting table. It goes up to the far side of the barn but there are stairs instead of a ladder and there are medical kits and other supplies mounted on the wall. I also stocked emergency supplies on the shelves. Food, water."

"Those dooms-dayers rub off on you?"

"My grandfather, rather. He – as he got older, I realized -." She let out a breath. "I was traveling. He was living here alone. My parents were in Tahoe by then so it wasn't like they could get to a major airport fast. I wanted him to have supplies if he ever needed them. I also had more electrical pulled in, so he had heat and power. And," she added finishing the margarita, "I added a phone line so he could call for help." She made a face. "He used it for DSL so he could watch YouTube."

Justin laughed. "I better get going."

"So, we're good with the whole lights thing? That I'm okay?"

"We're good," he confirmed hoisting himself into the wheelchair. "What time on Saturday and what can I bring?"

"I'm making spaghetti and garlic bread. A red wine would be nice."

"Cab?"

Perfect." She leaned down, brushed a light kiss to his lips. He had to work after all. "Thanks for caring, Justin. I really am okay here."

* * *

River stared up in the dark, the day she first came to stay with Jamie so her parents could go on some research trip replaying itself in her mind's eye.

" _You can go anywhere but in the barn."_

A typical thirteen-year-old, she'd immediately demanded to know why.

" _Hiding aliens in there?"_

" _Now why would you say a thing like that?"_

" _Roswell?"_

" _Nothing so exciting."_

He went on to tell her he'd taken up restoring aircraft as a hobby and needed the environment to remain constant.

" _It has to stay cool and dry and relatively dust free."_

Though the explanation had satisfied it hadn't kept her from investigating the first chance she got.

" _Who are you and what are you doing in my grandpa's barn?"_

The man in a white jumpsuit standing on a ladder had straightened slowly before turning to smile down at her. _"I'm helping."_ He'd descended the ladder but hadn't approached. _"My name is Dodi."_

" _You're a mechanic?"_

The dark-haired man with eyes a deep grey had been amused by the question.

" _I'm not a mechanic."_

" _Then why are you working on that airplane?"_

" _I am not a mechanic, but I know a lot about mechanics."_

She'd been irritated by the obtuse explanation, had been about to point out the stupidity of it, when a deep voice broke the brief silence.

" _I knew you wouldn't stay out."_

" _If you knew then why'd you tell me not to come in here?"_

Rather than answering her sass her grandfather had looked at the man in the jumpsuit. _"I'm sorry."_

" _It's fine. What is your name?"_

" _River."_

" _Pretty."_

" _Lame."_

" _What is lame?"_

The memory had her smirking in the dark. She hadn't realized he'd been asking what lame meant.

" _Having River as a name."_

" _It's a nice name," Jamie asserted._

" _Do you know how much teasing I get because of my stupid name? What was my mother thinking!"_

" _I like your name."_

She hadn't known what to think of the good-looking stranger's comment.

" _Would you like to help me, River?"_

" _I wouldn't know what to do."_

She'd very much wanted to stay around the enigmatic man in the jumpsuit. He was handsome and he didn't talk to her as if she was _too young to understand_ like most adults did. Not her grandfather, though.

" _I will teach what you need to know."_

As much as she'd wanted to stay, she'd felt it best he understand right off. She wasn't mechanical and she wasn't coordinated.

" _I'd probably fall off that ladder."_

" _I won't let you fall."_

" _How can you keep me safe?"_

" _So many questions. Go change into something suitable and come back. I will get another ladder."_

* * *

Tears leaked from the corners of River's eyes. Rolling from the bed she walked to the sliding door, slid it open and stepped into the cool night air. She got as far as the dirt courtyard between the house and the barn before a noise had her freezing in place.

"What are you doing out in the middle of the night, River?"

She turned in the direction of the voice. "The better question, Justin, is what you're doing in my backyard?"

Justin rolled until he was in the light spilling from the motion detector mounted outside the house. "I was staring at the barn," he admitted.

"Looking for the lights?"

"Yep." He frowned. Something about her voice. If he wasn't mistaken, she'd been crying. He glanced at the barn. Missing her granddad or something more? "Have you been to sleep at all?"

"No," she admitted with a sigh coming toward him. "I -. I'm -."

"You don't say," he jabbed lightly when she didn't say anything more. He waited til she got close, took her hand. "What's wrong?"

"Mostly jet lag."

"There's only an hour difference."

"Between here and LA, yeah."

"Isn't that where you just moved from?"

"I sent my stuff from LA. I was living in South Africa."

"Why?"

"Because I had stuff to ship from there, too."

"What, you had an office there?"

"A research lab."

"Is this part of that two-year plan you were telling me about?"

"Yes."

Justin couldn't see River's eyes, but he could feel her fatigue. "My place or yours?"

* * *

River burrowed beneath the afghan, turned her head. "Thank you."

By way of response, Justin tightened his hold, breathed in the scent, the heat of her collarbone.

"What are we going to tell Jack when he barges in tomorrow morning?"

"That I needed help picking tomatoes."

The laugh sounded a bit too close to tears for his peace of mind. "You're a long way from dreamland, aren't you Sleeping Beauty?"

She let out a shuddering breath, further evidence she wasn't too far from breaking down and normally he would encourage it as it could be therapeutic – he would know – but something told him to take another tack. Without speaking he took hold of her shoulders, angled his head, pressed his lips to hers.

River couldn't remember anyone ever treating a kiss as if it were foreplay before. Was it because there would be nothing -?

"Should I not do this?"

"I don't know," she answered, her heart thudding in her chest. "I – no one's ever kissed me like that."

"But?"

"I – I hate to be crass but – are we going to -?"

"Nothing crass about wanting the truth, River and maybe now's a good time to set some ground rules. Say what's on your mind, okay? One thing I hate is looking at people and seeing their eyes shift." Because they were too spineless to say whatever was on their minds.

"Okay. I like the kissing but – what do I have to look forward to? I just want to set my expectations."

He laughed softly. "River speak for not wanting to get your hopes up I take it?" When she made to protest, he silenced her with a kiss. "I could see earlier you're attracted to me. I wouldn't have done this if I wasn't able to finish the job."

She sighed again. "Thank you."

"Wow, you must be desperate. I haven't even started and you're thanking me for the service." He took her laugh into his mouth, reached a hand beneath the t-shirt he'd lent her, palmed a breast.

"How does this work?" she gasped coming up for air even as she held his hand to her chest.

"A little of this, a little of that," he replied, laughed at the sound of indignation. "I don't enjoy being on top, but I am able to do my fair share."

"So, I'm not the first?" _Thank god._

"That honor goes to a nurse who thought actions spoke louder than words when it came to proving I was okay."

"Hallelujah," she breathed then rolled on top of him.

* * *

Having seen the SUV in the drive, Jack was prepared for the sight of River at the table eating breakfast in what she considered pajamas, Justin's t-shirt.

"Justin's not here," she explained pushing a plate of bacon and an espresso toward an empty chair. "I hope that's okay."

"Why wouldn't it be okay?"

"No, I mean the espresso. I'm still learning."

"Oh, well, I'm sure it's fine. It's all bitter so I'm not worried. If nothing else, it will be better than whatever's waiting for me at the station."

May as well get this out in the open, she thought then tossed back the rest of the bitter brew. "It's what you think. The other day it wasn't but today it is."

"Ah. Well, thank you for the update."

She smirked. "He got a call from someone early, said he needed to handle it himself and to tell you he'd update you when he gets to the station." She eyed him meaningfully. "He pulled on jeans but was otherwise in his pajamas."

"Did this trip involve someone named Gordon?"

"Yes."

"Got it." He shook his head. "Guy's been trying to go straight for awhile. Justin refuses to give up on him."

"Tenacity is one of his better traits." When he blushed, she rolled her eyes. "It helped him get to where he is now, right?"

"Right," he said tossing back the espresso.

* * *

River stepped up to the workbench, gently shouldered the young man fumbling with the blow torch aside. "Go take a break," she advised. "I got this."

Pulling on safety gear she eyed the materials laid out, glanced over at the schematic outlining what needed to be done. No sense in destroying materials they didn't have the funds to replace. Pulling down the face plate she fired up the blow torch then set to work.

In spite of the concentration it required, River was happy to be working on a task that required such precision. It was a break from more serious concerns. Because it required focus, there was little opportunity for the mind to wander places she wasn't willing to have it go.

Top of that list would be a growing sense of desperation, not to finish but to avoid disappointing the people who were instrumental in helping her realize her dreams.

" _I miss you, Dodi."_

The man with endless patience would share the top spot on the list of those she didn't want to disappoint with her grandfather, another man of endless patience.

" _Grandpa was okay when you were a little, girl, but I like it when you call me Jamie."_

God, how she missed him. How many times had he looked the other way when she got into what she wasn't supposed to? She was well into a list of those sometimes-illicit activities when someone shouted. Annoyed at the distraction – she was almost finished – she nonetheless took the time to move her hands to safety position then glanced over her shoulder. A flood of emotions passed through as she caught sight of the visitor. The face plate would keep some of them from showing at least. Nodding meaningfully at one of the men working nearby she turned back to finish. She screwed up a face as she watched the sparks fly. Too bad they hadn't been able to pass some of that patience along with the wisdom they'd imparted to her throughout the years.

* * *

"Justin," she said with a smile. "This is a nice surprise."

"Now why do I get the feeling that's not the first thing that came to mind when you saw me?"

She grinned. "I was almost finished so yes you probably detected a bit of tension, but I _am_ happy to see you." She kissed him softly. "Truly. I needed the break."

"Want to go back to the house?"

"I can't. I have more to do but I can step out for some air." Plopping down in the dirt she stretched out her legs, leaned her head back, and breathed deep.

"I haven't seen you in days."

She looked into light grey eyes. "I'm sorry."

"I know you don't keep bankers' hours, consulting for the stars, but I was hoping I could curl up with you when you slept during the day. I even talked to Jack about changing shifts so I could. I come out here to talk to you about it only to find you not sleeping like someone who worked nights normally would but working." He glanced at the barn. "Where'd you learn to weld?"

"This guy that used to work with my grandfather restoring planes."

His gut tightened. "Dodi Ostas?"

"Yes." She frowned. There was no way Justin could have met him. "How do you know about Dodi?"

"Your grandfather told me about him."

The cool response surprised her. "You don't like him?"

"I didn't say that."

"What -?"

"Justin Meyers?"

# CHAPTER FIVE

Not sure whether or not she should be grateful for the interruption, River jumped up and quickly dusted off her jeans. "Krissoff."

"I've been looking forward to meeting you," he said putting a hand out to Justin. "Krissoff Astinas. I've heard much about you from Jamie and River both."

"Krissoff is my boss," River supplied.

"I am the director of Ptroteron," he clarified.

"So, the t is silent," Justin said shaking his hand.

"It is. Would you like to see what we've done?"

Justin was surprised by the offer. He would have thought he needed some type of security clearance. "Very much."

At the door to the barn, Krissoff turned. "We're very proud of River and all she's accomplished. I'll let her show you around though I'll be happy to answer any questions."

"Will you show me what you were welding?" he asked rolling into the cool interior.

* * *

River walked to the bench picked up a black rectangle with a piece of green sticking out from the end. "It's an accessory controller. "

"River is testing a new material for us."

"Theoretically," she explained, "it will have less surface friction."

"You sound skeptical."

She nodded. "I've learned to be. I can't tell you how many times I've heard how this or that material will revolutionize the way it's done. Reinventing the wheel is not revolutionary," she finished sardonically.

"Oh, ye of little faith," Krissoff quipped then led them toward a large opening in the floor.

"That's bigger than I remember," Justin commented.

"It is," she confirmed.

"Perhaps you'd like to explain why?" Krissoff suggested. When she didn't say anything, he pointed. "If you'll move your chair into those slots, I'll send you down."

River watched Justin's expression transform to one of wonder as he absorbed what was different about the opening.

"You did this for me?"

She smiled, nodded. "I'll see you downstairs," she added then began the descent, holding onto the handrail she'd installed herself the week after she moved into the house.

* * *

Justin rolled away from the wheelchair lift, grabbed River's hand when she came close, and pulled her into his lap. "You did this for me," he repeated then kissed her as long as he dared given they had an audience of men in masks and white suits. "I don't know what to say."

"Thank you?"

"Thank you," he repeated then let her up and took a look around. "This is – wow. This is quite the transformation."

The space had been turned into a modern data and design center, complete with a state-of-the-art particulate regulator. "The specs aren't as high as what Jet Labs uses because we don't do manufacturing here."

"What do you do?"

"Prototype design and testing. We're also not up and running yet else I'd have had you put on a suit. Those guys," she said with a nod toward three men standing near a workbench, "are doing some testing to see if we're ready to start testing."

"Clear as mud."

She laughed. "Setting up a satellite lab is a lengthy process."

"Yes," Krissoff agreed.

Justin picked up on the sarcasm. When he looked at River it was to see her rolling her eyes. "Krissoff and I share the same end point. We just tend to take different paths to get there."

He looked at the director. "You don't agree with how she's doing it."

"Krissoff would have preferred I focused on getting the instrumentation up and running."

He looked back at River. "As opposed to?"

"I felt it more important to get the analytics equipment in place. It made more sense in my opinion for us to be able to validate other labs' data than have them doing the initial testing of ours."

"Is it a matter of trust? You don't trust the other guys?"

"It wouldn't be an apples to apples comparison. At least if I had the instrumentation up, I could determine which lab to send it to."

"So not all the labs measure with the same instruments."

"Right. Some stuff yes but the beauty of being a satellite is that you are subset of the big guys. You can play around a little more. To do that," she explained, her eyes on the director, "you have to know where you are going to play." She looked back at him. "The satellite labs pick specialty equipment. Two, maybe three of us will have the same stuff. I haven't decided which subset I want. I'm choosing between two different possibilities."

He looked at the director. "I take it you have a preference which one she should choose."

"I do. River has shown to be outstanding in astrorobotics. I would like to see this lab focus in that direction."

"I know how you feel, Krissoff. I just need more time."

"Speaking of time," he said crisply, "I have a meeting. It was nice to meet you, Justin. I look forward to seeing you again."

* * *

Justin glanced up at the pretty brunette staring after her boss. "You guys butt heads a lot, don't you?"

"We both have strong personalities."

"You mean you're both stubborn."

She sighed. "I suppose. We really do like each other and we do tend to agree more often than not."

"Good qualities for a boss and subordinate."

She gave a small laugh, waved him toward the drafting table. "Here, let me show you what else I did. Then we can leave these guys to their work."

Justin studied the new escape hatch, saw that a rather interesting device had been installed. "Me again?"

She brushed the harness that would take him up and out in an emergency. "It's automated but if for some reason that didn't work there's a manual winch."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Did something happen to you? An accident or something? You look as if you're preparing for a catastrophic event."

"Let's just say the men instrumental in my career development instilled a deep sense of responsibility to the safety of myself and others. I've been fortunate enough to avoid anything too serious, but I can't say the same for either Jamie or Dodi."

* * *

"How did your granddad know Dodi? How did they meet?"

Curling against him, River drew a leg over Justin's thighs. "They're both pilots,"

"Dodi was in the Air Force?"

"No. They were pilots who shared a passion for anything that flew. Including hot air balloons," she added flatly.

"I take it you aren't as enamored."

"Planes yes. Rockets, yes. Shuttles, you bet. Hot air balloons? I like to look at them from the ground.

"I heard what Krissoff wants you to do. What is the other choice you are considering for the lab?"

"Telescopy."

"What's making it hard to decide?"

She let out a long sigh. "Astrorobotics is an exciting field but it's far downline."

"So it's a first part."

"Hm?"

He ran a finger over a bare shoulder drew it along the side of her breast, smiling when she shivered. It was a good excuse to pull her closer. He kissed her temple. "My sister played clarinet in middle school. In eighth grade she was asked to move to first part which doesn't carry the melody. She'd been playing second part and enjoyed it because she could tell what she was playing. The part for first didn't give the same satisfaction though it was a promotion."

"It was?"

"First part often requires high notes that are difficult for most woodwind players at that age. She was part of a larger group but in moving to that first part she lost the ability to separate her work from the whole. What you mention, creating small gadgets that go inside bigger gadgets? You are part of the bigger picture, but you can't point to it and say "I built that rocket or that shuttle. You built a piece that might have put another piece on it. If you did telescopy, you could point and say I took that photo of Mars at two-forty-three am. I sat up for weeks waiting for the perfect conditions and I was rewarded with that amazing shot."

"That's it," she whispered. "That's it exactly. How did you -?"

Justin kissed River softly. "Your grandfather used to tell me how you always jump in with both feet, that you want to run before you learn to walk. You're a results-oriented person, River. You want to see the fruits of your labor, not read about it in a journal somewhere."

"If it were only that simple."

"Why isn't it? I get the impression Krissoff, though he may have a preference, would accept whatever you decided."

She hissed air through her teeth. "I -." She squirmed at the thought of revealing the truth at this stage of the relationship, but she was on the spot and damn if she couldn't lay that blame at Krissoff's feet.

" _It's time, River."_

" _I'll decide when it's time, damn it. Now back off!"_

"I'm -." She swallowed. "Krissoff would tell you I'm a brilliant and gifted robotics expert."

"And what would you tell me?"

She sucked her lower lip, pressed her top teeth down, but rather than saying anything, and not able to look at him, she nodded.

"So, he's guilting you into it?"

" _You promised your grandfather."_

She nodded again.

"That's a terrible reason to do something, River, and in the end, if you do? You'll feel like you betrayed yourself."

* * *

_Portitch_ _, New Mexico_

2001

A sound had Dodi looking up from the Cessna's carburetor. Tilting his head, he tried to determine what the sound was. He frowned. If he wasn't mistaken -.

Could this day get any worse, River thought sourly. Wasn't it bad enough she was crying but to have Dodi of all people see it? _Just hell._ And it was all her parents' fault, damn them!

"River?"

Not trusting her voice, she simply stared from the recess of the loft. She also managed to keep from sighing when instead of taking the hint – that she wanted to be alone with her anger – he stepped over the top rung of the ladder and came over. Though he dropped down beside her, he didn't, as she expected, pester her with lame questions.

"I heard the shouting," he said after awhile.

"Uh-huh."

"I couldn't make out the words, but I take it you don't want to stay here this summer."

"I don't."

"May I ask why not?"

"You mean my grandpa didn't tell you?"

Oh, he'd had quite a bit to say.

" _She's so sheltered, Dodi. Her parents living in that gated community in California? That's not reality! That's a museum built to their accomplishments! How is she going to learn about the world from that?"_

He'd laid at least some of the blame at the feet of a boy who was apparently leading the highly intelligent teenager astray.

" _He's all wrong for her!"_

" _What makes you so certain?"_

" _He's a rebel without a damn clue, that's how! She's just datin' him to tick off her mother!"_

He'd backed up the bluster with enough anecdotes to have Dodi concerned as well. River was bright and enthusiastic and showed promise for a career in mechanical engineering. He'd been excited by the prospect of helping her develop her academic potential, had even spoken to Jamie about early entrance to college.

" _Her mother would definitely go for it as it'd give her a chance to go off on another one of her academic round-the-world trips."_

Jamie didn't agree with River's parents who were both scholars and their tendency to leave River with friends and family so they could travel.

" _To give lectures. As if that's more important than raising a daughter!"_

Which, he suspected, was what drove River into the arms of the boy who would not be able to give her what she needed.

"I can show you love."

It was all he could do not to groan. He hadn't meant to say that at all! He'd blurted the words before fully formulating what he was going to say to convince her to stay. Judging by the look on his face, he'd done more harm than help in that endeavor. "I didn't mean -."

"What did you mean?"

How could he explain? He'd been thinking that the vivacious teen wanted love and that the type she sought from the teenage boy was fleeting at best. To have love for something that would sustain you through life? That was a gift.

"I need to show you," he said after determining trying to find words to explain would likely make matters worse.

* * *

Heart pounding, and completely unsure what to say, River stared at Dodi's outstretched hand. He needed to show her? Show her what? Love? Was he going to kiss her? Take her clothes off? She was considering that she might want to start screaming for help when he spoke.

"I think you misunderstand and that is completely my fault. Yes, your grandfather told me a bit about why you don't want to come this summer and I was thinking of the situation and what I could say to persuade you otherwise. The two got mixed up and what came out was not at all what I meant, nor was it what I was thinking to tell you."

She looked at him askance. "I think what you're trying to say is that it was a Freudian slip."

He wasn't familiar with the phrase. He was just glad she seemed willing to overlook the blunder. He shook his hand. "If you'll come down to the plane with me, I'll try to do a better job of explaining the benefits of staying with your grandfather this summer."

River put her hand in his, allowed him to draw her to the ladder then help her - as much as she'd let him - descend. It's what she deserved, she supposed, for wearing a dress and flip-flops. Then again, she hadn't planned on being in the barn but the adults in the house were being completely unreasonable, refusing to listen to her, so she'd stormed out.

Dodi pointed toward a ladder leading up to the plane's engine. "Please climb up the ladder. I'll be behind you. I won't let you fall."

# CHAPTER SIX

River couldn't help noticing how warm it was. Of course, that could have been because pf Dodi's nearness as he tried fit onto the ladder in a way that would allow him to show her whatever it was he wanted to show her.

" _I can show her love."_

Though he'd climbed up behind her numerous times in order to keep her from falling as she stretched toward one plane or another on tippy toes, the comment made the current situation unbelievably awkward. Keenly aware of him pressed so close, she hoped he would hurry up. When his body pressed even closer as he leaned around her, she closed her eyes and tried not to panic. When he took her hand in his she reconsidered yelling for help.

Dodi was well aware he'd frightened River, he could feel how stiff she was, and he was angry at himself for doing so but he was determined to do his part. He'd promised Jamie.

" _I agree that her education should be a priority."_

" _But the right education. Not some ivory tower Disney version."_

" _Agreed."_

"Put your hand here," he began, then drew River's fingers over the body of the plane. "Feel how smooth that is?"

"Yes."

"Now feel this," he said and put her hand to the carburetor. "It isn't as smooth and it's cool to the touch."

She nodded to let him know she was following. Speech was completely beyond her.

"Now this," he said, pressing her finger against something sticky. "And this," he added pushing that finger into something gooey. When he brought her hand up and smeared her finger down her cheek she jerked her head.

"What'd you do that for?"

"Before I answer," he said with a small smile, "feel your feet on the ladder. Really feel them."

"I can feel the wood."

"No. You have shoes on so you can't possibly feel the wood. What you feel is hard. But not as hard as if you were standing on the sidewalk."

"Or the dirt floor."

"No. The dirt floor is softer than wood."

"It is not."

"If you were not wearing your shoes you would immediately detect the difference. The feel of cool dirt – even warm dirt – is soft compared to wood. Here," he said putting hands to her waist. "Kick your sandals off. Flip flops are entirely inappropriate to be waring in the barn, by the way."

"But bare feet aren't?" she shot back.

"No, they are perfect. You can feel the surface with your bare feet and your skin will send the appropriate message to your brain, telling you when to take extra care. If a surface is slippery, for instance, or if the temperature means you should stay away from it or get away from it quickly. Your -." He looked down. "Good. Now tell me what it feels like."

"It feels like I'll be picking splinters out of my feet when we're done."

"I'll help you, but I don't think it will come to that. I sand the ladder regularly."

"Why?"

"I like the feel of it."

"Huh?"

"Sanding. I like the work of it. The rhythm of it. When you move a piece of sandpaper back and forth over a surface," he explained moving her hand as he talked, "the motion transmits a vibration that travels up the arm and throughout the body as you twist or bend or increase pressure. It is a feeling of accomplishment because it is your work. You see the results. When you slide a finger over the surface you were working on and feel how smooth it is?" He held up her finger. "No splinters, a reward for that work."

River tried not to think about how thin the dress seemed all of a sudden. "Why did you smear grease on my face?"

In answer he backed down the ladder, beckoned for her to follow. Turning back around she tried not to imagine him watching her hips as she descended the ladder.

"Leave your shoes off," he instructed, "then follow me."

She walked on straw, noticing how it felt squishing between her toes. She looked at the sink, noted it was clean, watched him turn the faucet to cold.

"Put your hand in the water. What do you feel?"

"Cold."

"Now, imagine standing outside in August. Wouldn't that cold feel different?"

"Yes."

He dipped a finger into the flowing water, drew it over her cheek. "But you might want to wash your face with it." He adjusted the temperature then reached for different pieces of cloth, held them out. "Which would you use to wash your face?"

She pointed.

Dodi held the soft cloth beneath the water, rung it out, turning off the water before gently wiping her face. He held the cloth up so she could see the dirt. "See? All clean. Now, follow me."

Intrigued, River followed Dodi to a workbench, stepped up into the bar chair when instructed to do so.

"Close your eyes and when I tell you to, smell."

"Um, straw."

"Yes. Now?"

She wrinkled her nose. "That greasy rag."

"What else?"

She opened her eyes. "What do you mean? I smell the greasy rag."

"Close your eyes and follow my instructions." When she obeyed, he spoke. "Do you smell that the rag is damp?"

"Oh. Yeah."

"The grease is different when it's mixed with water."

"Not much," she argued.

"If the rag is clean and it's dry there is no odor."

"Unless there's grease on it."

"I said if it's clean. If it's clean and it's wet, however, there will be a smell."

"Right."

"Now this."

"Ooh, that's nice."

"What is it?"

She opened her eyes, reached for the flower. She held it up between them. "It's jasmine. I have some growing outside my bedroom. I leave the windows open so I can smell it." She made a face. "My mom always yells at me because she says she isn't paying to air condition the backyard."

River's stomach twisted at the look on his face. She'd obviously ruined the moment. "Sorry."

Dodi put a hand beneath River's chin, tilted her face so she'd look at him. "Do you see, River? The world is experienced not in fleeting moments but what we capture within through what we see, smell -." He handed her a glass of cool water, waited while she sipped before setting it down and continuing. "Taste." He put a finger to her cheek. "Touch. Love is everywhere but to connect with it you need to be aware on a level that you have not yet mastered. How could you?" he asked, "when your experience with the world has been so limited. If you want to know love – to truly know love – you have to embrace the world and all that is within it. Only once you let it inside through those senses will you be able to know what it is when you finally find it."

* * *

"What'd you say to my granddaughter?"

Dodi looked down to see Jamie, hands on hips, at the bottom of the ladder. He descended. "What do you mean?"

"She says she's staying. What'd you say to change her mind?"

He pointed at the plane he was helping restore. "I simply allowed her to see what she would miss if she didn't." He gave the older man one of his rare smiles. "I don't think you have to worry about that education you want her to have."

* * *

Portitch, New Mexico

2020

"What do you think, River?"

Tuning back to the matter at hand, she responded. "I think you all deserve the next week off." She tried to ignore the collective sighs that went around the room. "I know I've pushed you hard and I'm sorry."

"You aren't," Derrin said from where he stood in clean room gear. At least he was smiling.

"You're right. I'm not. But I know it has been hard for you and I can only tell you I very much appreciate it. And when you get back, we won't need to go at the same pace."

"Any idea which direction you're going to go yet?"

She looked at another lab worker, a woman by the name of Karen Dopee. "No. I'm trying to figure out a way to have my cake and eat it too."

* * *

Justin didn't like to think just how much he was coming to enjoy nights cuddled with River beneath the stars on the overstuffed sectional he'd initially hated.

" _Trust me, you're going to get a lot of use out of this."_

His sister had been adamant there would come a day when he could look at the furniture brought in to help him in the early days after getting home from the hospital. He'd have to call her tomorrow and tell her she was right.

He didn't like to think how much he was coming to enjoy the nights because he was starting to fear they wouldn't last. It was River. She was so distracted and while he tried to tell himself it was probably just because she was anxious to finish the satellite lab, he worried she was deciding maybe she didn't want to be with him after all. And damn if he wasn't too scared to ask what was on her mind, because he didn't know what he'd do if it wasn't the answer he wanted. He stared at a star in the distance. There might be a way to get the information without asking directly.

"Is there anything I can do to help with the decision over which route you're going to go?"

River couldn't help but consider the irony of it all. Justin _was_ the deciding factor, but she couldn't bring herself to talk about it. Not yet. Before she could think of something to say, he spoke.

"Maybe Kelly could draw something up, show you what each might look like."

"It's thoughtful of you to offer her services," she said smiling up at the stars, "but it won't help. It's -."

"I get the feeling you're avoiding telling me something."

"I'm having trouble getting my thoughts in order."

"Because of me?"

She nodded. "It's something you said. About not being guilted into doing something because I'd always feel I betrayed myself."

"I remember."

"The thing of it is, I – I made promises."

"To Dodi?"

"And my grandfather." She looked up at him. "I owe them a lot. They taught me -."

"They taught you?"

Sitting up, River scooted so she could look at Justin when she explained. She pushed a hand through hair that was helter-skelter thanks to static electricity. "I – I don't like to think of this but I – I wasn't heading in a very good direction in life." She let out a breath, winced as she stared out toward her barn. "I wasn't -." She looked into light grey eyes. "I was what you might call shallow. Spoiled, even. I certainly didn't think of others' feelings. At least not the way I do now."

"I'm sure you weren't as bad as you are remembering. People don't change that much in life."

Unless something changes their orbit, she wanted to say. Then your whole world changes. Instead, "Maybe you're right. I was a teenager when I first came here, and teens don't exactly have a good reputation in this country."

"They get a bad rap if you ask me," he replied.

She nodded. "Definitely but in my case." She blew out a sigh. "I think part of it is my parents' fault. I know that sounds crass but it's true."

"Because?"

"They never taught me to think of others. I mean it was never brought up. They never did things like volunteer at a soup kitchen or buy Girl Scout cookies. My mother was too worried about sugar," she mumbled.

"So, you didn't see it at home."

"But once I came to stay with Jamie? My eyes were opened."

"Did he make you work at the soup kitchen?"

"Oh, god, yes, and to work at the donation center, and to go with him when he delivered groceries to shut-ins."

"So, you learned."

"When I told my parents about it, they didn't respond too well. They implied I was being guilted into it. I told them that wasn't true. I mean at first, I was kind of just doing it because I was told I had to but then I learned to really like it. The other volunteers are so fun and when you see the faces of the people you're helping? It just made me feel good." She shrugged. "So, I quit talking about it."

"But you didn't quit doing it."

"Well," she said drawing the word out, "it got to a point I didn't have much time to do it."

"Because?"

"I was learning jet mechanics. I even learned how to fiberglass. Dodi taught me."

He listened as she talked of all the lessons, all the hands-on experience she got from her grandfather and the man who helped him restore planes.

"I promised them I would never stop learning, that I would always try my best." She shrugged. "I guess my promise – that Krissoff reminded me of it – it suggests guilt and manipulation." She tapped her temple. "So, it's all jumbled up and making it difficult to make up my mind. I feel like if I do it then maybe I'm being guilted and you're right, I would end up resentful. But then I worry if I don't do it it's because it's out of spite and that's no good either."

* * *

" _Dodi taught me."_

Long after River had gone home, and Justin got into bed - he had to work in the morning – he wondered. Just how far did River's education at Dodi's hands go?

That he wanted to know warred with the truth that it was none of his business. He'd never met the man and in any event, it was long ago. Before he was in the picture. When he looked at it that way it made him seem the fool which made him mad and round and round in his mind it went. "Damn it!" he hissed into the dark. At this rate he wasn't going to be worth shit for work. "Time to pull out the big guns," he grumbled, getting himself into the chair so he could go back to the sunroom.

"At least it will smell like her."

* * *

_Portitch_ _, New Mexico_

2003

"Dodi, Dodi!"

Smiling at the excitement in River's voice, Dodi made his way to the barn door, looked out to see River, her dark hair flowing out behind her, running across the dirt courtyard that separated the house from the barn. He could see Jamie watching out the dining room window as she threw herself into his arms.

"Oof!"

"Oh, Dodi, it came! I got in!"

"Your early entrance?"

"Yes!" she gushed then hugged him before shoving the acceptance letter into his hands. "And I owe it all to you!"

"You did the work," he pointed out.

"Yes, but I never would have thought to apply for early acceptance if you hadn't suggested it."

He took in flushed cheeks, green eyes that conveyed sheer joy. And pride. "Well done. I'm very proud of you."

"It means I'll be moving here!"

He tilted his head. "I thought you were applying to a school in California?" So, she could be closer to her boyfriend.

She shook her head. "I've got to get away from my vapid parents."

"You -?"

She screwed up a face. "It's all about appearances with them. Bragging rights. They were all about _look at our River, isn't she just so smart? She got into early acceptance!_ Like I'm the only smart kid in my school. _Not_!"

"But -."

"And they were so jerky to Dan's parents who apparently got on him about why he hadn't made up his mind about what he was going to do after school."

It sounded as River's parents weren't the only vapid ones.

"Next thing I know he doesn't want to see me anymore."

"He broke up with you?" No wonder Jamie was smiling. He had to admit, he, too, was relieved. River seemed to make it a habit of dating boys who had no direction in life.

"Yeah, the jerk." She shrugged. "So, I'll be moving here over Christmas break. I'm going to get my New Mexico driver's license this summer, though. So, I can go ahead and establish my residence here."

"You can't have a driver's license in both places, can you?"

"No but that doesn't mean I can't drive in California. I just need a valid driver's license."

"What about your school?"

"You mean the high school? They won't say a word. They get bragging rights, too."

"I don't understand."

"Most of the kids at my school go to Ivy League colleges which makes my school desirable. It means they get all sorts of perks."

"What perks?"

"Good school districts attract people who want their kids to get a good education. It keeps the property values up and attracts athletes because they know they'll get an in with the talent scouts for scholarships. The athletes also mean we have a full trophy case which gets donations and all sorts of extras. That I'm going to college on early acceptance – because of academics? It works for them, so they'll look the other way." She shrugged. "Not that there's any big deal. I will be living there most of the time for the fall. I'll come back at Thanksgiving and then again near Christmas. Only that time I'll stay."

"Won't your parents miss you for the holidays?"

"They're leaving the week before Thanksgiving to go to Europe for six months."

"Who will you live with while -?"

"Alone. I'm old enough to live at the house for a month by myself."

# CHAPTER SEVEN

_Portitch_ _, New Mexico_

2020

Justin heard the shouting the moment he got to the side of the house.

"I know what I committed to, Krissoff! Have I ever missed a deadline? Ever?"

"Sorry to interrupt," he said smoothly, rolling close to the pair who were standing toe to toe. He smiled at River. "I came to ask if you wanted to get away. For dinner." He looked at the director. "She's been working almost nonstop in spite of the fact she gave her team the week off."

"I think that is an excellent idea," Krissoff said, his eyes on River. "I was just telling her that it might be a good idea to take time off so she could focus on the decision rather than the tasks. Since the infrastructure phase is almost complete."

"Hey River, you mind if I talk to Krissoff? About what we were talking about the other night?" He held up his keys. "Why don't you wait for me in the car? I won't be long."

He waited til she was in the house before speaking. "Trying to force her to make a decision isn't going to work. You have to know this so I can't help wondering why you're haprin' on her about it. I mean you've known River how long? She's every bit as stubborn as you."

Krissoff sighed. "We share more than stubbornness, deputy. We share a passion for a job well-done and an enthusiasm about the ways we can help others through our efforts. I am simply anxious to get on with the helping."

"That doesn't explain why you are harpin' on her. You have to know she'll only dig in deeper."

He sighed. "I just thought -."

"And I'd knock off the guilt."

"What?"

Justin could see his comment surprised Krissoff. Why, he didn't know. The guy was smart enough to know what he was doing. "Reminding her of what you've done for her. Or Jamie or Dodi for that matter. It means you think she's obligated to you. Is she? Did she sign up for some lifetime contract?" When the guy didn't answer, he frowned. "She isn't employed for life."

"River is free to choose her employment," he coolly responded. "In point of fact she has received several offers in recent months."

"If you try to make her feel as if she's obligated to you – using guilt? She'll feel she betrayed herself in choosing what you want because she'll feel she did it out of obligation and not because it was what she wanted to do. You know, she might _want_ to do the robotics thing but how can she ever know that if you keep yapping at her about it?"

"What do you suggest?" he said tiredly.

"How about trusting her?" He pointed toward the barn. "You trust her enough to set up a satellite lab. Trust her on this."

* * *

"I'm sorry about that."

Justin looked across the table. He'd taken her to one of his favorite places in Santa Fe. Out of the way, the Italian bistro had an elevator which allowed him to get a table on the second floor where the views were spectacular and the atmosphere romantic.

"Kristoff, I mean."

He shrugged. "It's not like Jack and I never get into it."

She smiled. "Yeah, I can see that."

"I think you guys want the same thing. Success. Of the project and for each other."

She nodded. "You're right. Krissoff has always been supportive of my work. I've just never seen him so antsy to see a project finished."

"Because it's you."

"What makes you -?"

"The guy is infatuated with you. Even I can see that. He ever make a pass at you?"

"He talked to me about going out once. A long time ago. I said no and he's never brought it up again." Not directly, at any rate.

"Uh-huh. So, is he going to stay here until you reach a decision?"

"I'm afraid so but I was planning to announce my choice at the next team meeting."

"Do you know yet or not?"

"No."

What makes you think you'll know in a few days, he wanted to ask.

"I'm – I guess I was hoping to have an aha moment." She took a sip of wine.

"Maybe you will."

"What makes it easier is knowing that either way is good. There is no wrong way." She sipped. "There is no losing."

* * *

Justin stared in the direction of River's house, at the lights behind the barn. Green lights that cast an eerie glow. He imagined Mrs. Jeffries, whose house faced that direction, calling the station about now. Which meant his phone would be ringing as the duty officer asked if he saw anything going on at _the ol' David Ranch._

"Yes, I see them," he murmured to the empty room, "and no, I don't know what they're from. No, River doesn't either."

" _I don't know what causes the lights, Justin, because I've never seen them."_

Was that because she was in the barn when they came on or because she didn't want to see them so she never looked in that direction at night? What frustrated him the most was that neither answer exonerated her.

" _I don't know what causes the lights."_

That was probably a literal truth, but something told him she knew more about the lights than she was willing to admit. To him. Which brought him to the other thorn in his side. Why wouldn't she talk to him about the choice? She'd talk to him about the progress in the barn, about her plans for turning her grandfather's bedroom into an office.

" _It's the largest room and has a bathroom in it. I can sleep in one of the other bedrooms, either of which is large enough for a queen bed and a dresser."_

What she wouldn't talk to him about was the choice. What were the pros and cons she was weighing? Aside from not wanting to feel manipulated, that is. And why did she look at him weirdly when she said that? It wasn't as if _he_ had any opinion on the matter. Other than wanting her to follow her heart. It irritated him that she wouldn't talk about the pros and cons because it meant she didn't trust him. And without trust the relationship would stall. And because it would stall, knowing that it would, he found himself starting to pull back. Because he wasn't about to put his heart out any further only to watch it get stepped on. He was falling hard for the astromechanic but the more evasive she got, the more one-sided it felt.

"Damn it," he growled just as the phone rang. "Yeah?"

"Justin? It's Matt down at the station. Sorry to bother you but Mrs. Jeffries just called."

"Yeah," he said resignedly as the lights went out.

* * *

_Portitch_ _, New Mexico_

2005

"I'll be fine, Jamie. Have a good time." She kissed his papery cheek. "Win big."

River shut and locked the front door, waited til her grandfather's truck disappeared from view before making her way to the patch of grass near the barn. She'd planted it in the spring before going back to school for the shorter spring semester. Kicking off her flip-flops, she swept her skirt to the side, sat, and, closing her eyes, tilted her face to the sun. Taking a deep breath, she tried to let the warm air further relax her. The spring semester had just ended and though she was glad she took the two classes she lamented the fact her summer would be significantly shortened.

It wasn't that she was in such a hurry to graduate. She wanted to find an internship that would lead to a job instead of one where she got shit work from some bored engineer who was only inventing things to keep her busy. To do that she needed to have a certain level of education experience. Since you didn't get that til late in the game, it paid to get certain classes, like electives, out of the way.

She'd heard enough horror stories from classmates to know that when it came to finding a good internship, she needed a strategy. It sucked that some of the best companies were the worst places to be an intern. Especially for females.

" _They thought I was their coffee girl."_

A crash followed by colorful language sent her running. After jamming her feet into her sandals. "Dodi? Oh my god, Dodi!" She ran forward, put hands to his arms. "What happened?" When he went to his knees, she went with him. "What's wrong with -?" She sucked in a breath. "You cut your wrist." She jumped up, grabbed a rag, hoped it was clean. "You must have spilled something on it," she said as she wrapped the cloth around a forearm covered in what she guessed was blue paint. "Did you get a vein?" Where was the blood? It was obvious he was in serious pain. "We need to get you to the hospital. Can you walk?"

"Push – here."

She looked at his watch. "What, that?"

"Please. Quickly."

She pressed the button. "Did you get a vein?"

"Yes."

"River, step away from him."

"Krissoff?" He looked at Dodi. Her hand was still on the rag, applying pressure. "We need to get him to the hospital."

"I can take care of it," he promised as he pried her fingers away from Dodi's wrist. "Trust me. I need you to go downstairs and get that green box with the white cross on it from the shelf."

"But -."

"Do it! His life depends on it."

She thundered down the stairs, grabbed the metal box then started up only to have a flip-flop catch on one of the steps. Thrown off balance by the heavy metal box, she went sprawling, her chin smacking the top step as she fell. Pushing up with a cry she managed to get back to the men without any further incident. Setting the box on the ground she opened it. "What? What do you need?"

"First, get that foil packet. Open it and squeeze the contents into his mouth. Quickly."

She did as instructed, watched in fascination as Dodi sucked the contents like a baby taking a bottle.

"More."

It took three packets but finally he looked as if he might survive. She pushed a shaking hand through her hair. He'd been so pale! "What now?"

"I can take care of him," Krissoff said. "You can go now."

"Are you out of your mind? I'm not going anywhere!"

"River."

"Don't you River me, Dodi Ostas. I'm not leaving you. Krissoff, we need to get him to the hospital."

"And I told you, I can take care of this."

She watched the two men exchange a look. She looked at the paint-soaked rag, into eyes of deep grey. Eyes filled with -. Fear? What was he afraid of? She looked down at the rag. Her heart began to pound. "That's your blood," she said quietly. She looked up. "Isn't it?"

It was as if time stood still. No one said anything. No one moved. Drawing a long slow breath, she thought of what she could do to help the situation. She had a feeling Krissoff wouldn't do whatever it was he needed to do until Dodi told him to and he probably wasn't going to do that until she left. Which she had no intention of doing. Which meant she had to find a way to let him know she was okay with what she just learned. Dodi Ostas wasn't human. And neither was Krissoff, she'd bet though she supposed he could be one of those Men in Black people. Something told her he wasn't. Something told her he was the real deal. An alien.

"Please, River."

She swallowed. "You want me to go."

"Yes."

"I will come for you when I'm finished here," Krissoff promised.

She was at the door when Krissoff called her name. She halted but didn't turn.

"Your chin. It's bleeding."

* * *

Arms around her knees, River sat on the living room sofa and stared out at the dirt road that went past her grandfather's property. She dropped her chin to her knees, winced as the cut burned from the pressure. It wasn't deep though it had bled a lot, including all over the new summer top she'd been wearing. Good ol' Spray N Wash, she thought and resisted the urge to look toward the barn.

A noise, however, changed her mind.

"Can I come in?"

In answer she went to the kitchen, opened the screen door, stepping back so Krissoff could come inside. "Is he -?"

"Dodi is fine. He's sleeping."

"Will he be alright?"

"Yes. Thank you for your help."

"What was that stuff?"

"Amino acid paste. It contains sugar and enzymes. It pulled him from shock. The cut wasn't deep in spite of what it seemed." He stepped toward the liquor cabinet, withdrew a bottle. "May I?"

She could see that, in spite of his calm demeanor, he was badly shaken. "Let me," she responded then poured a shot of whiskey, handed it to the man who was Dodi's boss. An alien. She blew out a breath. Jesus.

"Perhaps you should have one yourself. How's your chin?" he politely inquired as he poured her some of the fiery amber liquid her grandfather kept around _for emergencies._ Well, she thought as she tossed it back, this definitely qualified.

Her eyes burned and she coughed. "My chin is fine," she answered then coughed again. "Jesus that's nasty."

"I need to go, but I wanted -."

"You're leaving him?"

Krissoff looked into green eyes read the panic there. "I don't believe that's the case."

She looked at him as if he was crazy.

"You'll be going to him, yes?"

"But what if something -?"

"The device on his wrist will contact me. If there's an emergency activate it. But I don't think it will come to that. River, I would never leave him if I thought he was in danger." At the screen door he turned. "I can go with peace of mind because I know he'll be in good hands."

He was halfway to the barn when she called out. "Where is he?"

"In the barn," he replied. "In the loft."

She took a step closer. "Will it bother him if I go -? I don't want to disturb him if he's sleeping."

Krissoff took a moment to consider before walking toward the house. She met him halfway.

"I think he would welcome your company, River. He is very afraid what you saw has changed the way you feel about him."

She let out a long breath, nodded. "I understand and yes, I'll go to him."

"Has it?"

"Has what?"

"Has what you saw changed the way you feel about him?"

"I think that's a conversation for he and I, but you don't have to worry, Krissoff. I care very much for Dodi. That hasn't changed."

"Then I'll go with peace of mind."

River watched Krissoff disappear around the corner of the barn. Should she go to Dodi now or wait so he could get badly needed rest? If he was sleeping -.

* * *

Dodi opened his eyes. Someone was coming up the ladder. "Krissoff?"

"It's me, Dodi. River."

He closed his eyes. He'd both dreaded and welcomed this moment. He was tired of hiding who he was. What he was.

"Are you okay? Are you in pain?"

He held up a bandaged arm. "I'm fine, River. How are you? Krissoff said you cut your chin."

"I tripped on the stairs. Damn flip-flops."

He smiled briefly. "I told you, totally inappropriate to wear in the barn."

"Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore. I tossed them into the trash." She held out a foot, did a little circle to show off the tennis shoe.

"Much more practical."

She knelt at his side put a hand to his arm. "Are you in pain?"

"Not that much," he answered. And not from the cut.

"Can I get you anything? Are you hungry? Cold?"

River tried to decipher Dodi's expression, gave up. It was such an awkward moment, more so because she was the one who had to straighten it out. But how? She stared up at a bit of evening sky showing through a hole in the roof.

" _When in doubt, you can't go wrong with honesty."_

Her grandfather's words. Maybe they'd help out here. She looked over to see him watching her. "I'm not afraid of you."

"You have no reason to be. I would never hurt you."

"I know this," she said quietly. "But I'm not sure what you want me to say." She pointed at his bandaged wrist. "You know, about -."

# CHAPTER EIGHT

"Did it frighten you?"

"What frightened me was the thought you were going to die. I figured the blue was some paint or something that spilled. What did you cut yourself with, may I ask?"

"I turned because I heard a noise and tripped my hand across a piece of metal I was working with. I was trying to fabricate a type of screen. The wire was exposed and ripped across my arm."

"I'm sorry. I guess maybe I was too busy following Krissoff's orders to be scared about the blue being your blood. I did think you guys were nuts for not going to the hospital, though I understand why."

"Right."

"Are you hungry?"

"River."

Her eyes snapped to his. He was hurting but if her suspicions were correct, it wasn't because of his wrist. He needed to know she wouldn't reject him. Her gazed dropped to his lips. While in the house she'd done quite a bit of thinking, about her relationship with the _man_ sitting quietly, a lot of soul searching. "It certainly explains a lot," she said quietly.

"How is that?"

One side of her mouth drew up. "You're – different, Dodi. I've always thought that.' She shrugged. "I just figured you were a – one of those guys who was passionate about restoring old planes and super devoted to what you love."

Over the years they'd had many discussions about love, what it was and what it wasn't.

"You aren't wrong. That I'm devoted to what I love."

She sucked in a breath.

"I see you understand."

She swallowed, nodded, and let her gaze again fall to his lips. "I thought I was imagining that," she said quietly.

He shook his head slowly from side to side.

River licked her lips, debated a moment before learning forward and pressing her lips to his. When he made a small sound of pleasure, she put hands to his shoulders and leaned in, deepening the kiss. When his hands went to her waist she drew back, gazed into eyes of deep grey. Keeping her eyes on his she guided his hands in sliding the t-shirt up and off, watched as his gaze fell to her bra, a boring white number that was definitely function over form. He didn't seem to mind.

Dodi allowed River to guide his hands, first pressing them to the front of her breasts, drawing his fingers beneath the soft material, then around to her back. He made quick work of the fastener, watched her shrug out of the device. He reached a hand to her breast, ran a finger over the nipple then the light pink circle there, over the small bumps that stood erect. When she leaned close to him, he licked.

"I showed you mine," she whispered.

"Actually," he countered, "you haven't. You've simply removed your shirt and bra." He pulled his own shirt off. "I have a chest, too."

River gave a small laugh before standing so she could slide her jeans off. Before she could do anything further, Dodi was reaching out.

"Pretty," he murmured running a finger over the blue satin. He looked up at her. "Beautiful. Can I?"

She nodded, waited as he hooked his fingers into the elastic holding the satin against her hips, drew the underwear down. She stepped out, kicked them to the side. "Now will you show me yours?"

He started to comply, stopped suddenly.

"Dodi? Do you not -?"

He shook his head, cutting off what she was going to say. She watched him try again only to stop and hiss. She frowned.

"Oh, your wrist." Reaching out she helped him to his feet. "Don't put any pressure on it."

"Right," he replied dryly. "I guess that means you'll need to help me."

River reached for his belt buckle with hands that shook the slightest bit. She'd messed around before so she had some experience getting a guy out of his pants but that didn't translate here.

"Are you afraid?"

"A little," she admitted. "But not for the reason you think."

"You don't know what I think."

She gave a little laugh, nodded. "You're right of course."

"What is it?"

"I'm not – I don't have much experience," she admitted. "I'm afraid I'll be a disappointment. To you," she added.

"That you have any at all makes you more experienced than me."

Her eyes widened. "You don't -? You've never -?"

"No."

"You don't have a girlfriend? Not even back home?"

"No."

"And you've never -."

"No," he repeated.

"Well, that part makes two of us. On that last part at least."

"Will you continue then?"

"Will I continue," she said dryly. She shook her head. "Yes, by all means." She was about to slide his briefs off when he grabbed her hand.

"I'm – different."

"I can imagine," she said automatically though in truth, she couldn't. Before she lost courage, she slid the briefs down, kept her eyes on his ankles as he stepped out of them then kicked them to the side. When she thought she was ready, she drew her gaze up over his legs, thighs, front and center. It was all she could do not to gape.

Holy shit!

"Um, can I make a suggestion?"

He waited.

"You probably want to avoid joining a health club or a sports team. Or if you do, stay out of the locker room. Your fellow man would never get over the shame."

"Shame?"

She reached out a hand, stopped. She looked at him questioningly. When he nodded, she rubbed her fingers over his penis. "Well," she said after a moment, "you're quite a bit longer than the human male and you aren't all that smaller in diameter."

"Are you afraid?"

"No," she admitted, "but I am – um. I'm recalculating."

"I don't understand."

She ran a hand over his warm firm flesh. "I'm not – that's long and I'm not sure how well this will work but -." She shrugged. "If there's a will there's a way as my grandfather likes to say."

"Yes."

She studied the anatomical anomaly. "You know, I was at this Asian museum in San Francisco once. There was this floor with all these statues that predate Christianity. I noticed that many of them have exaggerated sexual organs." She squeezed gently, smiled when it bobbed reflexively. "Now I know why." She looked at him. "You guys have been here for awhile, haven't you?"

"Yes."

She nodded. "Explains some of those drawings in the Kama Sutra, too, I think." His penis was not only longer, it curved up when it became hard. And he'd never made love? Wonderful.

"Do you regret -?"

"No!"

"So, you want to go through this?"

"Go through this? If by that you mean do, I want you to make love to me then yes, I absolutely want to go through this."

"And you want me inside of you?"

Her heart hurt for the uncertainty in his voice. "Very much." She stroked him. "This is you, Dodi. And I love you."

"You have."

"I have," she agreed. "We'll just take it slow."

"Yes."

* * *

Dodi stared down at the woman who lay on a blanket placed over a pile of straw. Her knees were bent and as he watched, she let her thighs move apart in invitation. His entire body throbbed with his need for her though he'd be the first to admit he was terrified. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her and her reaction to his anatomy told him she was afraid he might. "Why don't you lead this?"

"Okay," she answered, "but I'll warn you, I have no idea what I'm doing. Well, I have some. I mean I'm assuming you guys aren't all that different in how you -."

He knelt and came close. "We don't reproduce like this."

"You don't? You just do it for pleasure?"

"We don't do it at all. Not with each other."

River stared in horror. "Who do you -?" She took a deep breath. Could this get any more awkward? Fear mixed with anticipation, though maybe it was the other way around. She swallowed. "I want to know but if you take time to talk about it, we'll – it will screw up the moment." She laughed as she realized what she'd just said. "Touch me, okay?"

"You'll have to show me what to do, River. I have no idea whatsoever."

_I was afraid of that._ "Then here goes nothing," she whispered and put hands to his hips, guided him lower before pulling him inside. Closing her eyes she drew in a long breath. "My god."

"What? Are you -?"

She opened her eyes. "It's wonderful. I mean it. It's the most incredible feeling. You – the curve of you is – it's – god it feels so good, Dodi. Can you move or do you want me to?"

"How about you start, and I'll join in when I catch your rhythm?"

Dodi had seen movies and read articles, so he had an idea what was expected of him. Still, it was difficult not to spill his seed immediately into the warm wet. When she began to squirm and make little noises of pleasure, he gave up trying to hold back.

"Dodi, I felt that," she said in awe. "I felt everything." She looked thoughtful. "It's that curve of yours, I think. It makes it better." Much better.

"I'm glad."

When he started to pull out, she asked him to wait. "Does it hurt to be inside?"

"No."

"Can you stay like that for a minute?"

"Yes."

He felt so good, the curve pressing her in all the right places, touching her in all the right ways. "Here," she said bringing his hand between her thighs. "Rub me here."

Dodi kept his hand over Rivers, allowed her to guide his fingers. Her whole body tensed then began to rock against him and she yelled out his name as she throbbed around him. Her fingers dug into the hay and she began to whimper. Guessing she wanted him to move again, he pushed in, pulled out, being careful not to thrust too deep. Within moments he was again emptying warm fluid inside of her.

"Definitely don't share that," she gasped. "Oh my god that was good."

"Share what?"

"That you can do it twice in a row like that? Wow."

"I don't understand."

"Women can go off multiple times but guys? Pretty much once and then they have to wait for a bit. Sometimes it takes a whole day before they can do it again." She looked at him in curiosity. "Did that hurt?"

"The second time?"

"Yeah."

"Why do you ask?"

"I don't know, you seemed – tense."

"It wasn't as comfortable as the first time, but it didn't hurt, no." That could have been because he was caught up in watching her, hearing her cry out his name.

"I'll keep that in mind for the future." She sat up as he pulled out fully. "There will be a future, right? This isn't the one and only time we'll have sex?"

"No. I mean yes."

"Which?"

"Yes, there will be a future and no this is not going to be the one and only time we have sex."

"But?"

He let out a sigh of his own. What he had to say would no doubt hurt her, but it had to be said. "I need to go home, River. I've stayed longer than I was supposed to as it is."

"What does that mean?"

He cared for River Davis and because he did, he would always tell her the truth. Even if it hurt. "You were my project, River."

"I don't understand."

"I was sent to Earth for reconnaissance. My aerial craft had a malfunction and I crashed in your grandfather's yard."

"Behind the barn," she guessed. She'd had more than one neighbor tell her they thought her grandad had an alien spaceship in his barn, having seen a fireball hit the property behind it.

"Where is it now?" she asked. "That spaceship."

"Back home. Jamie hid it until I was conscious."

"You were hurt in the crash?"

"Badly. He pulled me from the burning wreckage and got me into the barn. He somehow figured out that pressing the center bar on my wristwatch would send an SOS. He hid the debris and waited with me until reinforcements came."

"Krissoff?"

"Yes. And others. Naturally, we were grateful to your grandfather for his help and -."

"How long did it take them to get here?" Krissoff's appearance that afternoon had been almost instantaneous. It hadn't occurred to her he wasn't already close by.

"A half a day. We were lucky the crash happened at night. By the time the authorities arrived the debris had been taken away."

"So, how'd it go from that to me being a project?"

"I was fascinated by the aging aircraft your grandfather kept in the barn. I offered to help him restore the machines as a way to repay him. He accepted."

"Okay."

"Over time he opened up enough to tell me about his family. And you."

"Did you tell him anything? About who you are, where you come from."

"Oh, yes. Trust is important and I like your grandfather. So yes, I was very forthcoming with information."

"So, me?"

"He was very worried you were not getting the education you deserved. He felt you were too sheltered and that your experience in the world was being colored because of it."

"He was right."

"As time went on and I met you? I came to agree with him. So, I promised I would help him ensure you got an education that would set you up for success."

"Which is why you were so adamant I learn how to work on the engines."

"Yes. You showed promise right away."

River moved so that she was straddling the naked man. "Is that all I am to you? A project?"

Dodi traced the pink circle on her left breast. "I have broken every rule of my assignment for you."

"Well," she said softly. "You know what they say about rules, don't you? They're made to be broken."

"I should have gone home years ago."

"Why didn't you? I mean me, I get that but what about me?"

"That summer when you were fifteen? You didn't want to stay?"

"I remember. You were very convincing."

" _I can show you love."_ He most certainly had.

He nodded and she had no doubt he was remembering those words and considering the irony of it all. "I felt it would be hypocritical to convince you to stay then turn around and leave."

"It would have been."

"I also felt you would become so angry it would undo all the hard work Jamie and I had been doing."

"It would have," she agreed. She kissed him. "I'm glad you stayed. When did your feelings – change?"

"I've always cared for you, River. You are kind and gentle and your excitement over small things is like the best wine."

She shook her head. "Wow. Now that's poetic."

"It's true," he returned, drawing a finger down her spine. When she shivered he pulled her close. "I love you."

"I can feel it."

"But do you understand what a miracle that is? In my world? We don't. We don't have these types of relationships. We have friendships but not – I've never -."

"I understand, I think. Did you – when I was fifteen. On the ladder."

"I never considered doing this then, no."

"When did you -?"

"Today," he blurted. "I -. When you saw all the blue. Once you realized it wasn't paint?"

"I think I understand."

"I'm sure you don't."

"Then tell me. Explain it."

"My gut twisted."

"Sure that wasn't pain?" she teased unhappy to see him so frightened.

"The thought of losing you. At that moment I knew my feelings for you had changed. I lay here in the dark and wondered if I should tell you. That my feelings had changed," he clarified. "I was so afraid you would want to leave."

"I wouldn't have. I was inside thinking how _my_ feelings had changed."

"Were you?"

"Yep. I was wondering what you would do if I told you how seeing you bleeding out like that scared me so badly, made me realize how much I love you. Then I worried if I told you you'd think the only reason was _because_ of what I saw. _Then,_ I worried you would think I only wanted the sex because you're – different – and it would be a novelty.

"So much worry," he murmured then lay back, pulling her over him. "I'm sorry," he said quietly and stroked her everywhere his hands could reach. "So beautiful," he murmured. "So soft."

# CHAPTER NINE

River stared up at the opening in the barn roof. "When do you have to go?"

"I will return when you go back to school."

She nodded, watched raindrops slide over the glass Dodi had installed in the roof after the first time they'd made love.

" _I want to always make love to you up here. It rains in the summer and I'd like to make love to you when it does."_

For many moments they lay in silence.

"I think your grandfather knows. About us."

"He does."

"Has he said anything to you?"

"Not directly, no. But it doesn't matter. I'm a grown adult. And he likes you."

"I'm sure he worries though because he knows I have to leave. Promise me you'll find someone after I go? Promise me you'll find someone to love."

That would be the easy part, she knew. It was letting someone love her back that would be the challenge. She rejected people out of hand, a consequence of her upbringing. In Dodi's case it was easy. He'd cut through that with gentle persistence. She doubted anyone else would bother. "I'll try," she answered after a few moments.

"You'll try?"

"It's the best I can promise, Dodi, but it's an honest answer."

"Then I'll take it."

* * *

"I want our last night to be special."

"I understand," Dodi replied. "And I appreciate that you -."

"Threw my granddad out for the night?" She laughed at his expression. "Good thing he likes to play poker." And a good thing his buddies were willing to put him up for the night.

She'd packed for school the night before, watched as Dodi did the same that morning then took his hand and walked from one end of the property to another, doing her best to absorb every moment, every nuance, so she could commit it to memory.

" _If you want to know love – to truly know love – you have to embrace the world and all that is within it. Only once you let it inside through those senses will you be able to know what it is when you finally find it."_

Dodi's words those years ago hadn't been part of why she entered into a physical relationship with him though they certainly put a poignant exclamation point on the fact she had. With that in mind she'd planned every moment of their last evening together.

She'd cooked lasagna then explained they would be making love in the bed.

" _I know the barn has been good, but I want this one to be special."_

She had something specific in mind and it wouldn't work as well if they were in the barn.

* * *

Dodi followed River into the bedroom she used whenever she stayed with her grandfather. Thanks to a window he helped Jamie install at her request – a request that had sounded like insistence to him – her room had a view of the barn.

"Can you close your eyes? Wait. Sit on the bed. You can relax."

Easy for her to say, he thought but did as requested.

"Okay. You can open them now."

Dodi's eyes zeroed in on the emerald satin triangle visible beneath a sheer gown of the same color. Reaching out, he ran a finger over the material. Through the gown.

"I think it'd feel better from beneath."

Unable to find his voice he nonetheless agreed. Sliding his hand beneath the sheer fabric, he laid his hand against the small bit of material, found it to be cool to the touch. "Nice," he managed.

"Don't suppose you'd be interested in helping me out of it," she teased. She made a face. "It isn't the most comfortable thing."

"What -?"

She turned and he saw the problem. Reaching to her hips he slid the thong down, kissing her behind on the way down. She shivered, turned in his arms, allowed him to pull her into his lap.

"I have a request."

"Anything," he said as he ran his hands over soft skin. He kissed a bare shoulder. "Tell me what you want."

"I want to be on top this time."

He gave her a look of uncertainty. His shape and size made it a delicate dance. He didn't know how she would manage were she to be on top of him.

"I'd at least like to try."

"I'll do what I can to help you," he promised then reached for his belt buckle.

"Um," River said with a grimace. "Can you slide down a little more? I think if I move up further this might work but I'm – the moving up and down is going to be tricky."

"But fun," he answered as she had many times when he suggested the like.

"Consider it more of my education," she joked. And it was a joke. They'd had several long talks over the summer, while he helped her work with various materials and taught her how to weld.

" _I did not intend for this to be part of the education."_

" _I know that, Dodi, and my grandfather does, too."_

She'd helped him see Jamie wasn't disturbed by the fact he was having sex with her.

" _He likes you. He likes you for me."_

Which led to several other discussions.

" _Promise me you will find someone to love, River."_

" _Will you?"_

He hadn't known how to answer that. Where he came from such relationships were so rare as to be almost nonexistent. He'd tried explaining the situations were not the same. In the end he'd tried truth.

" _It would hurt me more to try to replace you. My world is not yours, River. Allow me to move forward in my way."_

"Does this feel okay?"

He shifted, put his hands to her waist. "I think I need to lift you."

River followed Dodi's lead the best she could but in the end agreed it was best if she was on her back. "At least I got to feel what it was like."

* * *

"I would suggest a shower," Dodi said as he drew a finger over a bare shoulder, "but I don't want to wash the scent of you from my body. Not yet."

"Me neither," she answered wiggling against him. "And in any event, I'm up for another go if you are."

"As my lady wishes."

River laughed. The phrase had become a bit of a play between them, the implication that he was her knight in a shiny spacecraft who'd swept into her life while on his quest and saved her from a terrible fate, ignorance.

"Is anything wrong?"

Dodi shook his head. "On the contrary. I'm finding it difficult to hold back. Being inside of you, hearing you make those sounds of pleasure, feeling you squirm when I move my body in a certain way. It's taking all my concentration to keep from thrusting into you."

"So that's why you look as if you're pissed off."

"I'm frustrated because by having to focus on not increasing the length of my thrusts, I -. What are you doing?" he gasped.

"Taking your mind off your troubles, I hope," she responded and continued massaging him between the legs. It was a bit of a trick getting the angle so she could reach but as she'd said more than once, if there's a will, there's a way. Within moments he was shooting warm liquid inside.

"Thank you," he breathed then rolled off, pulling her with him.

"I'm happy to serve," she said with a weary sigh. She didn't want to close her eyes but gravity – and sleep - ruled, apparently.

* * *

"Did you sleep at all last night?"

"Hello to you, too, Jamie." River kissed her grandfather's cheek. "Did you win last night?"

"No but something tells me you did."

"Mom always said you were smart," she responded then poured orange juice into three glasses.

"Where's Dodi?"

"Taking a shower."

" _May I keep these?"_

" _Of course."_

She'd given him the lingerie, watched as he put it in a duffle bag then withdrew an object she hadn't thought to see again.

" _My chime!"_

" _It's more than that, River. Here. I reinforced it."_

She'd looked in curiosity at the wire that had been added.

" _Transmitter wire."_

She'd studied the metal discs attached to rope reinforced with what looked like a copper alloy. _"It's a transmitter?"_

" _When you hang this, you'll establish a direct connection to Ptroteron."_

He'd gone on to explain that it was how they found their allies throughout the galaxy.

" _Yes, we are from the Milky Way. A tiny planet not visible from your skies."_

" _I'll put it up right away."_

He'd wrapped his hand around hers, shaken his head.

" _When the time is right, you'll know. That time is not now."_

" _How will I know?"_

" _It means you are ready to be a full ally. Someone we can turn to in time of need. To do that you have to become one of us."_

As no one had brought up the possibility she hadn't known what to say.

" _Don't worry, River. When the time is right, someone will approach you. If you hang this up? I'll know your answer."_

He'd refused to provide any details or answer any questions.

" _I do not want to waste the time remaining discussing something that has no bearing at this time."_

" _How do you want to spend that time?"_

" _Loving you."_

"There's a stranger."

She handed a glass of juice to the handsome man who'd taken the seat next to hers then went to help her grandfather with breakfast. "I can make the toast," she said then went to get the butter from the fridge.

* * *

Portitch, New Mexico

2020

"Did Jamie know you two were lovers?"

What was more startling than Justin's unexpected presence in her yard at four in the morning was the fact she hadn't been startled by his voice. She turned from where she'd been staring at the barn, the memory of loving Dodi fresh. "He did," she answered. "But since I was a junior in college, it didn't matter. Anyway, he liked Dodi." She looked at the barn. "He was special," she said softly then looked at another grey-eyed handsome man. "Like you."

"You don't know anything about me," he snapped, and she saw it for what it was. Jealousy. Ridiculous as it was, she was not about to deign it with an answer. Or maybe -.

Justin watched River stomp into her grandfather's room – that she'd converted into an office. He was debating whether or not to leave when she came back, dropped something in his lap. He picked up the book. "What am I supposed to do with this?"

"Read it," she snapped then pointed. "At home. And don't come back til that chip on your shoulder is gone, you hear me? Not when you're done with that," she groused pointing at the book that upon closer inspection seemed to be a journal, "but when you knock that chip off your shoulder. Don't you dare judge me for something that took place before I ever met you! Jesus, Justin, it was fifteen years ago! I don't say anything to you about that nurse or anyone else you've slept with and I'm not about to take any sass about my love life from you!"

"Sass?" he said with a laugh. "Did you just say that to me?"

"If you prefer the four-letter words running through my mind, I'll be happy to appease you but make no mistake, Justin Meyers, I've had it with your attitude when it comes to Dodi. Read it!" she called over her shoulder as she stomped toward the barn. "And don't come back til you're free of that chip!"

* * *

River wasn't surprised to see Krissoff at the workbench. He often started at four so he could leave early.

" _The time difference with the other labs makes it a bit of a challenge."_

She'd never asked if he was talking about the time difference between the labs on Earth or off. Because she didn't want to know. Because she would then wonder why Dodi had never tried to contact her. Oh, in her heart she knew why. He would tell her he wanted her to move on with her life and she couldn't if he was a constant fixture in it. She knew this because it was one of the last things he said to her before they parted ways, she to return to college and him to go home.

"Do you think that helped or hurt the situation?" Krissoff asked as he handed her a cup of coffee.

She shrugged. "Better to know, don't you think?"

"What is it you hoped to accomplish by that?"

She sipped. "If we're going to succeed in this project, Krissoff, I have to know where I stand with him."

"And you couldn't just tell him you love him?"

"That wouldn't solve the problem and you know it," she said quietly fingering a computer wafer on the bench.

"Is it Dodi?" he asked quietly. "Is that why you don't let anyone love you?"

"Yes and no."

When he made a face, she sighed. "It's an honest answer, Krissoff. I don't want to feel I betrayed myself."

"How could you -?"

"Justin told me that if I did something out of a sense of guilt, like choose the robotic path because I felt obligated or guilted into it? I would feel as if I'd betrayed myself. If I let Justin in because I knew it would make Dodi happy? Then I'm doing it for Dodi, not me. I just want to know how he's going to respond to the truth." She shrugged again. "I got tired of waiting so I pushed the issue. Better to get it over with, don't you think?"

"I don't know what to think about you, River. I never have."

* * *

Two weeks went by before a squad car pulled into her driveway.

"You forget to pay a speeding ticket?" Derrin asked pointing toward the yard. She turned, let out a loud sigh. "Wonderful."

"Before you go lightin' into me," Jack advised, "here."

"I'll take that," Derrin said walking up to grab the box. "Did you bring espresso beans, too?"

"I didn't think to."

"No problem," he replied. "I know where to get them. Yo, Calv – look what the good sheriff brought!"

"Beware of those bearing gifts," Calvin replied with a smile. He took the box, beamed at the officer. "Thank you, sheriff. If you want to take a break, Derrin, get those beans? I'll put this in the break area. Oh, don't forget to get a grinder."

"I guess I should thank you," River said after they walked off.

"You definitely should," Derrin called out before disappearing into the barn.

"Yeah, well, it wasn't completely altruistic. Justin told me I have to get my double shot elsewhere until and unless I can keep my opinions and the big mouth that goes with them, to myself."

She couldn't help it, she laughed. "He didn't say that to you!"

"He did."

"But you're his boss!"

"I think he started ignoring that detail on his second day of work."

"I don't suppose he had a suggestion for you as to just _where_ you're supposed to get that double shot?"

"As a matter of fact, he did, and seeing as how I've learned to like that bitter stuff better than the regular joe you drink, I figured if I was going to get a decent espresso on my way into work, I'd better do my part to make that a reality."

"You may have to take that espresso in the barn."

"Give me a chance to see all that spook stuff you're working on."

"Right."

"Listen, about Justin -."

# CHAPTER TEN

River sighed. "Jack, I've told you how many times? My relationship with Justin is none of your business!"

"I know that, but I also know I care about the both of you and since your granddad isn't here, I feel more than a little obligated to do what I can to help."

She was about to snap when they were interrupted.

"Maybe it's a good thing Jamie isn't here," a deep voice said, "as then I'd be hearing it from two big mouths." He held up the journal. "Though I didn't escape totally, did I, River?" He glared at the man who was his superior.

"Alright, I'll go, but before I do, you listen to me, Justin Meyers. You make this right with her."

"You assume I'm the one who screwed it up."

"Oh, I know you did, and I have a pretty good idea what's behind it." He pointed at River. "You need to accept her for who and what she is, what she does, you hear me? You don't go into a relationship with someone with the intention to change them. You either take them as they are or you don't take them at all. Otherwise, you'll never make it through the tough times." He touched the brim of his hat before turning on his heel and stalking away.

* * *

River fought the urge to smile. Instead, "Hello, Justin. It's nice to see you."

"Is it?"

She tilted her head. "Still have that chip on your shoulder? I thought I told you -."

"I know what you told me, River." He held up the journal. "As for the chip. I don't know. What did he mean by you helping me? Did he want us together?"

"Jamie wanted a lot of things but yes, he hoped you and I would become involved." Her grandfather had been telling her about the handsome deputy from day one.

" _He's the nicest young man. And good-lookin' too. I just know Dodi would approve."_

It had been that last line that kept her from following up. As she'd told Krissoff, she didn't want to do it for Dodi. That wasn't real. Then Justin got sick.

" _Damn shame. I've been teachin' him how to fiberglass. I figure if I work him hard enough he'll be too tired to be angry."_

She'd been saddened to hear the man her grandfather admired had lost the use of his legs but resolute in avoiding becoming romantically entangled. Not unless and until she could see for herself if there was more than what obligation would do.

" _Yes, Jamie, I can help him. But I'd need to meet him first."_

Unfortunately, there never seemed to be a good time. And then Jamie was gone.

"So, are you going to answer me?"

"About what? I told you he wanted us together."

"Something tells me that's not what he meant by helping me."

No, she thought tiredly, it most definitely wasn't. "Before I explain that," she said, reaching for her grandfather's journal, "let me put this away."

* * *

Justin watched River disappear into the office with the book that most certainly had knocked the chip regarding her from his shoulder. He'd only be surprised if the sound of it falling off hadn't woken her up.

" _Justin, if you're readin' this it means I'm gone and my most fervent hope came to be. You've met my River."_

The journal included Jamie's thoughts and hopes for the beautiful brunette walking toward him, and included letters she'd written, postcards she'd sent.

" _There's somethin' you need to understand about River. It has to do with Dodi and a man named Krissoff."_

The retired pilot had written how deeply the men cared for River, detailing the numerous ways they'd helped her in her formative years.

" _I was thrilled beyond belief when she accepted Krissoff's offer."_

"Did you do it because of Dodi?"

River came to an abrupt halt. "Did I do what?" she said tiredly.

"Accept a job with Ptroteron. Was it the idea you would get to work with him again that had you taking the job?"

"No though I know he was hoping I would accept the job. Dodi doesn't work for Ptroteron."

"He doesn't?"

"No. He's – he's some sort of government official. Because of that, he – he won't be coming back."

"What government? Where?"

"I have no idea. He wouldn't tell me. He said the less I knew the safer I was."

Not the best news he'd heard for it suggested River was in danger just for working where she did.

"I haven't seen Dodi in fifteen years, Justin."

He digested that. "And Krissoff?"

"He works for Dodi. I used to think it was the other way around but no."

"Did Dodi ask him to hire you?"

"I don't know but I wouldn't be surprised if he did. Or, at the very least, suggest Krissoff consider it. But Krissoff knew me almost as long as Dodi did. Like I said, he worked for him. He visited a lot, saw me work. Just before I graduated, he offered to have me work for him while I worked on my masters."

"Why was Dodi here?"

"He was helping my grandfather."

"Did your granddad work for Ptroteron?"

"Yes."

He nodded. "So, you were going to tell me what Jamie meant by helping me?"

"I need to show you."

* * *

Justin rolled away from the elevator that lowered him to the lab beneath the barn. To his surprise, the place was empty.

"I told them to take the rest of the day off." She stared at him meaningfully. "So, we wouldn't be disturbed."

The declaration had his gut tightening. "Okay," he said then took a surreptitious if deep breath.

"Can you come over here?" She turned on a lamp, swung it over a placemat. "See this photo?"

"Yes."

"That's a special chip I designed."

"Uh-huh. What does it do?" His heart began to pound though he couldn't have said why.

"It's actually not a chip so much as a microcomputer. As to what it does." She paused and he got the idea she was trying to gather courage. As a result, his stomach started to roil.

"It's to be implanted in the spine where it's able to direct nerves in what to do."

"You're telling me -."

"It will allow you to walk."

He was stunned. He could honestly say that was the very last thing he'd expected her to tell him. He'd imagined her telling him she was some covert operative that developed some tiny microchip that could be used in some kind of new Cold War. "I -." He licked his lips. "I don't know what to say. _This_ is what you've been doing here? Making it so I can walk? _This is your job?"_

"My job is in astromechanics, I like I told you. My work tends to land more in the area of robotics but that has a pretty broad application spectrum. Lots of the same parts that go into space shuttles and telescopes are found in hospitals, medical equipment."

"And people."

"Some."

"Have you done this before?"

"Yes."

"Successfully?"

"Yes."

"So, when Jamie asked you to help me, he was asking you to design a chip for me, so I could walk again."

"Yes."

"And you didn't tell me because?"

"I wasn't sure how you'd feel about the price and I didn't want you to feel obligated because of my grandfather. I – it's a complicated situation but trust me when I tell you I had my reasons." She walked over, typed in a code on a metal panel. There was a clicking sound then a hiss as a door in the wall swung open. She reached in, pulled out a white box about the size of a pack of dental floss.

"Is that it?"

"It's in here. This is hermetically sealed. It won't be opened until just prior to installation."

"Installation."

"I prefer that to implant."

"So, do I," he admitted.

She set it into his hand. "See how light that is?"

"I can guess. I mean the container has some weight."

"The material is state-of-the art. I had been working on a prototype for you when my grandfather passed away. About two weeks after I moved in, Krissoff brought me the new material to try."

"You made this at that worktable upstairs? With all that dust?"

She smiled briefly. "I made it down here, but I didn't want to work on it in the lab until I had practiced with the material. The timing was perfect because while I played around upstairs the guys finished the lab down here." She pointed. "I finished that a couple of days ago. We did some preliminary tests then sealed it up."

"Only preliminary?"

"The type of testing we did was all that was needed. We've done this and we know what we're doing. We don't take chances with people's lives, Justin." Nor their hearts, she wanted to say. The thought that it might not work was more than she could bear which is why she insisted they have two successful cases before she'd even consider doing something for the man her grandfather loved like a grandson.

" _If I have my way, River, he will be."_

She took the case, put it back then locked it away.

"I guess I can understand why you didn't tell me right away," he said after a moment. "You didn't want me dating you because you did that."

"Right."

"But what about this price? What price?"

"Can we go back upstairs for that?"

* * *

Justin waited til River was seated before speaking. "Um, does this conversation have to take place here? I – I would rather we were at your house and I had a beer or something."

"How about we go make a pitcher of margaritas then come back? Because yes, I think this is the best place to have the price conversation."

Ten minutes later they were back in the barn.

"Do you remember the planes?" she asked using the short glass to gesture toward the empty space where a Cessna had been.

"I do."

"That restoration wasn't all they were doing. They were testing materials. Polymers and metals that would eventually end up in vehicles meant for space flight."

"Spook stuff as Jack likes to say."

"Yes but. Proteron isn't a government agency. They don't even contract with the government in an official capacity."

"Uh-huh."

Ignoring the skeptical tone, River took a long swallow of margarita. "I told you we're a think tank."

"Yep. I remember." He held out his glass so she could refill it.

"We're a behind-the-scenes kind of think tank. We know how easily information in the wrong hands can lead to suffering."

"Who decides who the wrong hands are?"

She smiled, held up her glass in salute. "It's different depending on the information. And the industry."

"Okay."

"Which goes to my next point. Ptroteron is federated yet decentralized."

"So, the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing. Sounds like a government in itself."

"An argument could be made for that, but the difference is there is total transparency. I can go into any system and look at what is going on in any industry in any country. Through the Ptroteron lens, that is."

"Okay."

"There is a method to the madness, you might say. We say we're a think tank, and we are, but it's what we're thinking about that makes us relatively unique."

"Okay, I'll bite. What keeps you up at night?"

"Besides you?" she replied then refilled her glass. "Crime. We try to anticipate where tools or ideas will be used against humanity rather than for the good of it."

"Uh-huh."

She nodded. "I can understand why you're skeptical. If we're the watchdog, who's watching us? And you'd be right, of course."

"So? Who is watching the watch dog?"

"We are. That's why we have total transparency. When anyone comes to work for Ptroteron it's with the understanding that they have a responsibility to report any abuse within the structure. They have an obligation to the greater cause."

"Is that why Krissoff is on you all the time?"

"That and he is anxious to get the lab set up. The lab can't be set up until we know where you stand."

" _What?!"_

She nodded. "Justin, if we implant that device in your spine? You agree to the terms."

"Which means what, exactly?"

"That you are one of us."

"You're saying I have to work for Ptroteron."

"That's what I'm saying."

" _She isn't employed for life."_

His conversation with Krissoff came back to him.

"For life, right?"

River licked her lips. This is where the rubber hit the road. "Yes."

"But I have a job. I'm a deputy."

"And you'll continue to be a deputy. You'll just put your work through the Ptroteron filter."

He was about to ask what that meant when he remembered Krissoff's other comment.

" _River is free to choose her employment. She has received several offers in recent months."_

"What other job offers have you had?"

"Hm?"

"Krissoff told me you were free to choose your employment and that you'd received other offers. What offers?"

"A couple of universities, some companies that supply to NASA and Virgin Galactic."

"SpaceX?"

"I turned them down."

"To work here?" Though she did say she was tired of LA.

"I can do more good working for Ptroteron than I ever could working in a bureaucratic organization and trust me, the only thing more bureaucratic than government is a US corporation."

"Having only worked for one government branch or another, I'll have to take your word for it." He sipped, winced as ice cubes brushed his teeth. "So, tell me about this filter."

"Basically, you'll get access to knowledge that may affect the community you serve. You just need to factor that knowledge in to your decisions."

"Does Jack know about this?"

"My grandfather inducted Jack almost immediately after meeting you."

"Why?"

"Because he wanted me for you and knew what that would entail."

"And Jack – he works for Ptroteron?"

"He does."

"So, I'd be drawing two paychecks?"

"Yes."

"Um, I don't think Uncle Sam -."

"It's been taken care of since it falls under a Black Ops designation."

"Come again?"

"Justin, all around you are people who work for the government. Some are spies, some are just accessories after he fact."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"They may aid and assist the spies in their communities without even realizing it. We're Americans, yes, but we're global citizens. We are part of humanity. Does everyone qualify? No. Not even every lawman would qualify though we have a large number of Texas Rangers in our ranks."

"I'll just bet."

# CHAPTER ELEVEN

She laughed. "NASA?"

"Right. Sure."

"Maybe you're asked to give someone a tip about a job or you give someone a ride home from an Al-Anon meeting."

"You're telling me Gordon -?"

"No. I'm saying those are the kinds of tasks that come with this responsibility. You're looking out for your fellow man. Do you see why this doesn't conflict with your day job?"

It wouldn't conflict with his night job either, if he was reading the situation right.

"Your granddad wanted this, right?"

"What's this? So I'm clear."

"He wanted me with you and for me to be with you I needed to be part of Ptroteron."

" _You need to accept her for who and what she is, what she does, you hear me? You don't go into a relationship with someone with the intention to change them. You either take them as they are or you don't take them at all. Otherwise, you'll never make it through the tough times."_

"Jack wanted this, too."

She nodded, took a drink. "Especially after you got – sick."

"And if it doesn't work?"

"What, the surgery?"

"Yeah."

"Then you aren't any worse off than you are now. It isn't as if they will make it worse."

"You sure about that?"

"The man who will do your surgery is top in the world. Trust me. He's done this and he's – he is amazing. If you agree to all of this we'll fly to Belgium to see him."

"He's Belgian?"

"He lives in Belgium. I think he's of Austrian descent. I don't know. What I _do_ know is that he is truly brilliant." She refilled his glass. "Justin, I would never have told you about this if I wasn't absolutely certain it would work. _Could_ it fail? Yeah, but it won't. You're healthy. You're young. You are an excellent candidate."

"Did you read my medical records?"

"No. Absolutely not. Justin I would never do anything like that. It's why I insisted I needed to meet you before deciding whether or not to accept the project."

"That's what the argument between you and Krissoff has been about."

"Yes. He wants this settled so I can be settled. So I can take up the responsibilities agreed upon when he and Jamie and I worked out the specifics two years back."

"So that stuff about being sick of LA was -."

"One hundred percent the truth. Everything I've told you has been the truth, Justin. I just left this part out until it was the right time."

"What made it the right time?"

"Your tantrum about Dodi."

"I did not -." He shook his head. "Okay. I'll swallow some pride. Yes, I'm jealous of that guy. Jealous as hell."

"Why?"

"Because you're still in love with him damn it!"

"But I'm not. Yes, Justin, I loved Dodi, but you don't understand, I never let it get too far."

"Is that right."

"Justin, I knew he had to go home. I knew there was no future for us. Was it hard? Hell, yes. Did I miss him? Definitely. Did Krissoff take his place? Oh, don't you dare look at me like that. You know damn well you want to know the answer to that. No. And I don't care if that is what he would have wanted or not. My love isn't transferable like that." She came close, squatted down so she could look him in his beautiful grey eyes. "Justin, the reason I stalled, looked for every excuse to stall, was because of something you said."

"What's that?"

"Remember how you told me if I did something out of guilt I'd feel as if I betrayed myself? Remember telling me that?"

"Yes."

"Before he left. Several times, in fact, Dodi asked me to find someone else to love. It is so easy to love, Justin. The hard part is in letting someone love you." Accepting that love.

"Um, someday you're going to have to tell me what the hell that means but in the interest of wanting to understand, keep talking."

"I didn't want you falling in love with me out of some sense of hero worship. Because I developed the chip. I didn't want you to be obligated to me. I needed to know you loved me for me."

"And you know this, do you?"

"That you are all pissed off about Dodi? Tell me that's not love."

"That's jealousy."

"Uh-huh," she shot back then climbed into his lap and pressed her mouth to his. "I do love you Justin and I would have helped you anyway. I just needed to know if that help came with or without me."

"And that price?"

"That's the with me part."

"What's the without you part? How would that work?"

"You would have been told it was an experimental therapy and given the option to try it. On the condition you didn't talk too much about the process or start contacting others to be candidates."

"So if people see me walking around -."

"You tell them the truth. It's an experimental therapy and you were selected for a trial."

"Plausible."

"Truth. They just don't know the terms of the trial."

"Uh-huh."

"I'm waiting."

"For me to tell you whether or not I am going to do this?"

She'd been thinking of something else, but she nodded.

"Before I answer, answer me this. If I say no, do I still get you?"

"You -."

"I love you, River. I don't care about the damn surgery. I mean yes, I'm thrilled at the idea of walking again, but I would have married you regardless. I love you that much."

"Yes, I come to you if you decide to say no and I won't be disappointed if you do."

"You won't?"

"Justin, it's a big decision. You have learned to live like this. If you do the surgery, you have to go through an incredible amount of upheaval all over again as you adjust to the new life. It isn't simply waking up one morning and being able to walk again. There's a lot of work involved, months of therapy. It's hard work and you'll be a different man at the other end of it. I will love you. I will be by your side. I will support you but Justin this is a path you must walk alone. In here," she said tapping his chest. "I can't take the pain. I can't take the anger."

"Anger?"

"Trust me. You go through the death of the old you as you move on to the new you. It isn't – there are going to be limitations. You need to understand. As you gain your strength, you're going to want to do what you used to do but you won't be able to."

"What, are you saying I'll walk like an old man?"

"For awhile you will. Eventually you'll live a life that is almost completely normal but there are – you'll need to be careful. You can't just run off and play football though track is a possibility. Running is encouraged, in fact. It seems to help."

"Would you mind if you married me in a wheelchair? Because I don't want to wait til I'm recovered and able to stand."

"Is that a proposal?"

"I guess it is." He looked over at the workbench, back. "Yes. It is."

"Then yes, and yes."

He reached in his pocket, withdrew the diamond ring he'd purchased the day before.

"You were prepared. Boy Scout?"

"No, actually." He held up the ring. "I came here today with a purpose. I wasn't about to be sidetracked by anything though you damn near came close with that bomb you dropped on me."

She held out her hand, allowed him to put the ring on her finger. "It's beautiful."

"I figure you'll not be wearing it much while you work so I got you a beautiful chain. You can tuck it into your shirt. We can shop for a band when you're ready."

* * *

Portitch, New Mexico

Nine Months Later

River paced the hall, occasionally glancing at the closed bedroom door. When there was a sudden loud thud she winced.

"Does that answer you?" Justin yelled.

Crossing her arms, she debated how to reply. "Yes," she said finally. "I'll be in the barn." When she got near the bedroom door she stopped. "I love you, Justin."

She was two steps from the house when she heard her name. Smiling she went over to where Justin was sitting near the open bedroom window.

"I love you, too."

She leaned in, kissed him softly. "I know you do." She kissed him lingeringly before making her way to the barn. She stepped into the cool interior, smiled her thanks as Derrin handed her an espresso.

"How's he doing?"

She blew out a sigh. "He's doing fantastic actually. I think his time in the Air Force, the discipline? I think it helped him have a resiliency that is to his advantage here."

"And you? How is it watching him struggle like that? Is it hard for you to keep your mouth shut?"

"You mean is it hard for me not to say inane things like _I know it's hard_ and _be patient_? No. Because I'm not that kind of person."

"Wow, I admire you. It's hard for _me_ not to say words of encouragement."

"That's just because you're renting his house," she answered then made for the stairs that would take her to the lower lab. Halfway there she stopped.

* * *

"Hello, River."

"Krissoff."

"If you're finished," he said pointing to the demitasse cup, "I'd like to show you something."

She set the cup in Derrin's outstretched hand, followed her boss out a back door. They walked for a little over a football field before he stopped.

"How are you adjusting?"

"You mean how is Justin adjusting?"

"I know how he is adjusting. I meant you."

"Oh, well, I help him with his -." She stopped speaking because he'd put his hands to her shoulders.

"I meant how are you adjusting to life after the lab's completion?"

She frowned.

"I know you, River. You have to be going at least a little stir crazy because you do not have a current project."

He'd insisted she take the year off so she could be there for Justin.

" _And for you."_

He'd been adamant she would have some sort of a post-project letdown.

" _This is a significant milestone in your life. The completion of a project that you have been working toward for fifteen years."_

"Dodi is very proud of you, River. And he said to tell you he is happy."

"About Justin?"

"That you accepted love. It was his most fervent wish for you."

"I know. Tell him thank you when you speak with him again."

"So? How are you?"

"Well, I'm antsy of course but I enjoy supervising Derrin and the crew. And I do my best not to micromanage anyone." She had to admit, it would have been easier if she had a hobby but other than hiking she hadn't taken the time over the years to find one. Reading certainly didn't count since she spent all that time reading manuals related to her job.

"And doing a smashing job of that."

"You asked?"

"Naturally. But I didn't need to. I've gotten a couple of requests for transfers to work for you. Obviously, word's gotten around that you're a good supervisor. Congratulations, River. Well done."

She nodded absently, crossed her arms. "Okay, Krissoff. Why did you stop here?" She looked around. "You don't do anything without a purpose."

"I needed to speak with you in private."

"We're beyond private. Ten feet from the back door would have sufficed for private." She pointed toward her feet. "You have something in mind, or you wouldn't have stopped here. What's up?"

He smiled but didn't respond.

River turned back to the barn, tilted her head as she went over possible explanations. She looked over her shoulder at the enigmatic man, back at the barn. She turned. "This is where he crashed."

"This is where he crashed," he confirmed. "Six feet below your feet is the beacon Jamie activated before pulling Dodi from the wreckage."

"That's what causes that green glow everyone talks about."

"It glows when it sends a signal." It was the signal itself that glowed, its frequency.

"Ah." She'd been telling the truth when she told Justin she'd never seen it.

"Once you hang that chime you made? The beacon will be deactivated."

"Because the chime is the new beacon."

"Yes."

"Will it glow green like that?"

"It will give off an iridescence when the wind blows just right but other than that you shouldn't notice anything. Certainly, your neighbors won't."

The police department would be happy about that. "And those on the property?"

"You assume they won't know what it is."

"And I can always tell the others they need to cut back on the margaritas."

"Just so."

"Will you dig it up now?"

"We'll leave it. It can be remotely activated if there is a need for additional signal strength."

"Thanks for showing me. For trusting me."

"Speaking of that," he said suddenly, turning her to face the barn. "Look up at the roof."

Her gaze when to the opening that had been widened shortly after she bought the place from her grandfather. She'd always hoped to put a high-powered telescope or two and turn the satellite lab into a listening station. But a deal was a deal.

" _I'll do the robotics work."_

And it wasn't as if she hated it. Her eyes widened as a movement revealed a familiar piece of equipment. She spun, threw her arms around Krissoff. "Oh, Krissoff, thank you!"

Krissoff took a moment to enjoy the feel of River's embrace. He'd made no secret of the fact he was attracted to her, but he understood she couldn't return the affection. It wasn't sexual in nature.

Realizing he may not appreciate the sudden show of affection, given how he felt about her, she stepped back. "Sorry, about that."

"River," he said, reaching a hand beneath her chin. "It felt wonderful. Because it's you. Yes, I have told you many times I have feelings for you, but those feelings are tied to others."

"I don't understand that. What do you mean?"

"Other feelings."

"I still don't understand."

"After Dodi left you were – sad."

"I missed him, sure."

"It was more. The light that was in you dimmed. I had hoped to put it back but as you said, you could not transfer your feelings for Dodi to me."

"I haven't transferred them to Justin," she said wearily, "if you're suggesting -."

"No. No transfer. Simply that you have accepted his love. The light within you is your light reflected back at you by someone who loves you."

"But a lot of people loved me. Why wouldn't there have been light from my grandfather's love or – yours?"

"There are different types of love."

Dodi had told her the same thing once upon a time.

" _Love of a pet, love of a parent. Platonic love. Love of the stars. Love of a good meal. Music. All love but not all the same. One source, many outlets."_

"I get it."

"Justin is able to reflect back to you the infinite light of that passion that is within you." He pointed at the radio telescope. "That will only enhance it."

"Thank you."

"It comes with responsibility."

"I know that."

"I don't think you understand. In accepting this, you will be the only dual satellite lab in the world."

"But not the universe," she teased.

"No, not the universe." He let out a breath. "Can you promise me something?"

# CHAPTER TWELVE

"I can try. I need to hear what it is first."

Still cautious of him. He supposed he couldn't expect anything else. Her grandfather and then Dodi taught her well. Or perhaps it was simply life that installed the experience and knowledge that led her to this moment. "If you have difficulty managing the scope of having two functions? Please tell me. I won't take your telescopes, but I will help you."

"Telescopes?"

He gave her a gentle smile. "You see the radio telescope. There's an optical one to go with it."

She was considering whether or not to hug him again when he spoke, his words driving her to do just that.

"It's pointed in the right direction."

River closed her eyes, breathed in the stability of a man who had indeed helped her move forward after her first love returned home. She kissed him softly. "I promise I won't spend all my time looking for him." She'd promised Dodi the same thing once upon a time.

"I know you won't, River. You have a level head on your shoulders. It's why Dodi was willing to take you on."

"Even as boy crazy as I seemed to be?"

"As I recall it was never serious."

"No," she agreed, "it wasn't." Not until Dodi.

"Shall we go and investigate what awaits us in the loft?"

"Definitely."

* * *

Portitch, New Mexico

Three Months Later

"Do you feel up for a walk?" River asked the man sitting beside her in the basement lab.

"I could do a short one I think."

"We'll take the lift up then." They'd installed a new elevator that could also take them up to the left. She crawled into his lap, waited while he got them to the main floor. Stepping off she pushed him out the back door, waited while he got his bearings. When he nodded, she took his hand and started forward. It wasn't because he needed his hand held, it was her way of letting him know she needed him, his affection. She'd had to explain, though.

" _I never held hands in high school. I never held hands with a_ _boy. I would like it if you would hold my hand."_

"Do you want to sit down?" she asked once they stopped.

"Are we going to be here long?"

"I don't know."

"Then I'll sit down."

She waited, ready to step in if needed, while he got himself to the ground. He was still learning to deal with coordination issues as his brain and the chip negotiated who did what when it came to the leg muscles.

"What'd ya want to show me?"

She cocked her head.

"You don't do anything without a reason."

She grinned. "You tell me."

He looked around, his head bobbing in a thoughtful way as he tapped the ground with his fingers. He turned grey eyes on her. "Is this where the green originates?"

"Used to originate."

"Dodi?"

She stared up at a clear blue sky, considered her words. "Dodi," she confirmed with a small smile.

"He crash here or somethin'?" The guy was a pilot after all.

"He did. Jamie found him, brought him back to the barn but not before activating a beacon for help."

"Krissoff?"

"And a team of others."

"Any of those others happen to be living in my house?"

"Hm," she answered noncommittally.

He drew in a slow breath, let it out just as slowly. He had aliens living in his house. And Jack knew, he'd bet. "Why used to originate?"

"It was deactivated once the lab went live." She didn't bother to explain that it went live when she hung the beacon chime. He'd find out on his own she supposed. He often played with it while sitting on the back deck they'd added to the house.

"Will he be back?"

"Dodi? No. That was always understood. I told you."

"You did. You also – you -."

"Had sex? Yes."

"Because he – was it part of your education? Learning about them?"

She laughed. It was but not the way he thought.

" _I can teach you love."_

"I had sex with him because I loved him, and he cared for me."

Cared for. Not the same thing. "Did he love you?" He could have been having sex with her to learn about humans.

"I think so, yes but they don't -. It's different where they're from but yes, I think he did love me. We didn't speak of promises or the like."

Justin noticed she was fingering her wedding band. He reached out and put his hand over hers, smiled when she squeezed it. His smile broadened when she spoke.

"You understand."

"I do. And I'll be honest, it's more than I had with the nurse or anyone else after."

"You were angry."

"The first time I was terrified. Then I was grateful. But yes, after that I was angry." Which was why he quit dating. He was too tempted to have sex, but he couldn't keep the anger at bay. That was _not_ a good way to start a relationship. "By the time I met you I was no longer angry."

"I know."

"Jamie?"

"And Jack, I suppose. I doubt he would have introduced me like that if you were."

"True. So what happens now?"

"We wait."

For what he wanted to ask but she started talking again.

"And while we do, we live. We work." She kissed him softly. "We love."

"I can live with that."

# ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Elizabeth has lived, worked in, and traveled to multiple locations throughout the world.

I've been exposed to a variety of cultures and interacted with people from all walks of life who were generous in sharing their stories with me, along with their hopes and dreams.

Although always working on her craft, Elizabeth spent twenty years working in the Information Technology industry where her career evolved as technology did. Her front row seat to rapid and constant change taught her the value of remaining flexible and open-minded, and the importance of continuing education.

After studying holistic healing with a British surgeon, Elizabeth went on to earn a doctorate in holistic medicine and a bachelor's in holistic childcare.

Elizabeth is the winner of multiple short story fiction awards and has had one produced as a play. She is the author of both fiction and nonfiction.

You can follow Elizabeth at elizabethmaxim.com.

