

The Human Soul:

Anger Is Your Guide

By

Jesus (AJ Miller)

Session 2

Published by

Divine Truth, Australia at Smashwords

http://www.divinetruth.com/

Copyright 2015 Divine Truth

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This ebook is a transcript of a seminar delivered by Jesus (AJ Miller) on 26th April 2009 in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia, as part of the Human Soul series. In this seminar Jesus describes the layers of emotions within the soul, including anger, fear and grief, how to access core emotions, and the emotional cause of cancer. Jesus also discusses examples of anger and describes how to release it with Mary Magdalene (Mary Luck) and audience members. This seminar follows on from "The Human Soul - Anger Is Your Guide Session 1".

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Please remember that due to these limitations information contained within this document may need to be revised in the future.

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Table of Contents

Anger Is Your Guide: Session 2 Part 1

1. Introduction

2. Emotional layers within us

2.1. Denied emotions in parents enter their children

2.2. An example of a child learning that getting hugged when crying equates to love

2.3. Anger is one of the outer layers around our core emotions

2.3.1. An example of having an expectation of others

2.3.2. An example of suicidal people

2.4. Core emotions create the Law of Attraction

2.5. Suppression of anger creates depression, becoming intellectual or feeling numb

3. Accessing core emotions within us

3.1. An example of a fear of being judged

3.2. An example of feeling unlovable

3.2.1. An example of earning "love" by cooking meals

3.2.2. Layers of anger and other emotions around a childhood feeling of being unloved

3.3. An example of feeling alone

3.4. Dealing with core emotions instantly changes the Law of Attraction

3.5. An example of feeling unlovable (continued)

3.6. An example of feeling persecuted

3.7. Dealing with core emotions instantly changes the Law of Attraction (continued)

3.7.1. An example of war

4. Audience questions

4.1. Becoming vulnerable towards God

4.2. An example of a participant feeling overwhelmed by the presentation

4.3. Fear blocks the full expression of sadness

4.4. False religious beliefs from our childhood negatively impact upon our relationship with God

4.5. Accessing terrifying events from our childhood

4.6. Moving out of a state of feeling numb

4.7. Fear creates the layers of emotions around causal emotions

4.8. Becoming vulnerable towards God (continued)

4.9. Accessing anger and fear from a state of numbness

4.10. An example of a participant who is angry with her mother

5. Cancer is created by the suppression of emotions

5.1. An example of cervical cancer

5.2. Multi-generational factors that create cancer

5.3. An example of a participant grieving her son who died of cancer

6. Releasing false beliefs

6.1. An example of a participant told religious lies in her childhood

Anger Is Your Guide: Session 2 Part 2

7. Discussion with Mary about her anger towards men

7.1. An example of women feeling not understood my men

7.2. Opening up to men

7.3. Allowing emotions to pass through us

7.4. Focusing on our own feelings rather than trying to understand the other person

8. Audience questions

8.1. Working through issues in friendship relationships benefit other relationships

8.1.1. Benefits of focusing on a relationship with God first

8.2. An example of a gay male dealing with his grandfather's sexual rage

9. Discussion with a participant, Jenn, who was angry and blaming others

9.1. Developing a desire to be repentant

9.2. Working through judgement towards truth

9.3. Developing a desire to be repentant (continued)

9.4. Spirit influence towards the group and through the angry participant

9.5. Crying about effects rather than feeling real grief

9.6. Taking personal responsibility for every emotion within us

9.6.1. An example of sexual abuse

9.7. An example of a participant judging Jenn

9.8. An example of a participant who has started to be repentant towards her daughter

9.9. Taking personal responsibility for every emotion within us (continued)

9.9.1. An example of slaves who were in the hells of the spirit world

10. Steps involved in opening up the soul

11. Audience questions

11.1. An example of a participant wanting to take on her father's emotions

11.2. Removing addictions exposes underlying emotions

11.2.1. Getting sick when giving up an addiction

11.3. An example of a participant connecting to others' emotions more easily than her own

11.4. An example of a participant who is emotionally shut down by her mother

11.5. An example of a participant with diabetes

11.6. Reasons for difficulty with accessing causal grief

11.7. Allowing bodily expression of emotion

11.8. An example of a participant with a fear of spirits

12. Closing words

Anger Is Your Guide: Session 2 Part 1

1. Introduction

Now what I would like to do is just ask you a few questions about what category do you feel you fit into after our discussion yesterday: so do you feel that you fit into the category where you have no anger at all inside of you?

Audience: No.

Okay. No worries. Do you feel you fit into the category where you've heavily suppressed your anger and so you're not very conscious of how much anger is inside of you? Who feels that? The majority of us, okay. And how many of you feel that you're actually in your anger now, like you're actually feeling the anger? Okay so there are a few in that state. And then how many feel that they don't get angry as much because now they get to the causal emotion before they even get angry anymore? Who feels that? Okay, no worries. By the way I disagree with a number of you who put up your hands in those different categories, based on what I can feel from you emotionally.

But what I would like to do is use the opportunity today to actually allow you to start addressing some of these things on a more personal level, if you would like to come up and do that with us. The reason why I'd like to encourage you to come up and talk about it is because usually what happens when a person comes up to talk about it, there's a Law of Attraction going on where other people connect to those emotions, and that then enables all of us to start connecting and seeing the things that we do to either suppress our anger or feel our anger, or then feel what's underneath the anger.

So if we could just make three categories: the first category is the category of suppression; the second will be the category where we're actually living in anger for some of the time or a lot of the time; and the third is that we're actually accessing the causal emotions.

So what I would like to do first is if anyone who wants to visit me up the front in the hot seat, if you could think about whether you feel that you're in this place of suppression or not and if you'd like to talk about that with me then I'd like to invite you to come up first. And then once we've talked about it a little bit, then we'll get into this second state: we'll get into this second one of living in the anger for those of you who feel that you're getting into the anger a lot and starting to express the anger but you're really concerned about that. Then we'll talk about getting into the causal emotions, the third layer because in the end what we want to do is get through the anger as rapidly as possible, because the longer you stay in anger, the more difficult your life is going to become.

So although I'm saying that anger is your guide to finding truth and finding love in the end, I'm not suggesting you stay in anger because you won't find truth and love that way - it's by using the anger like a torch, showing your way into a deeper and darker place. So the way I see anger is like holding a torch in your hand and you're walking along on a dark night and the torch is the only way you can see what's going on in front of you. The way I see anger is very similar to that - the anger is like a torch and the light is being shone at what is dark inside of yourself. That's why anger is your guide because it helps you get into that place that's dark inside of yourself.

If we stay in the anger then what happens is that we will actually be in a place where we're living in the depths of darkness but not actually doing anything with it. And we don't want to use our anger for that purpose; we want to use our anger as like a light shining on our real emotion that we want to deal with. So bearing that in mind, there are just a few brief things that I would like to mention about the anger itself. [00:05:11.04]

2. Emotional layers within us

You could think of your anger like layers coming off of you. Anger is like layers of protection, if you like, coming off of the raw emotion. So if you can think of your raw emotion like a little core of raw emotion inside of you, and then what's happened is generally we've covered that core of emotion with layers of protection, just like layers of an onion ring.

Our core emotions are covered by layers of other emotions

The reason why we do that is because we're actually very afraid about fully experiencing the pain of that core emotion. So what we do instead of just allowing the experience of the pain of the core emotion, which actually releases it, is we place layers or blockages around that core emotion to protect ourselves from that emotion. And the layers can get so dense and complex that in the end we're not even conscious that that core emotion exists anymore within us. However the reality is from God's Perspective that that core emotion does exist within us and the reality also is from God's Perspective that unless we release that core emotion, we won't get closer to God.

Now the more layers there are around this core emotion, the more difficult it becomes to access the core emotion. So you can see how the layers around the core emotion are a product of time as well, and they're also a product of how much abuse or difficulties we've had during our life. So if we've had a relatively smoother life or we're younger then obviously we're going to find it a bit easier to access the core emotion and get rid of the layers than if we've had a longer life or we've had a life we're we've been abused in our life. So obviously then the layers are hugely greater. And it's the removal of these layers that then get us down into that core emotion.

So you could say these layers are our suppressions, where we suppress the actual core emotion.

Layers around our core emotions are our suppressions of the core emotion

Now a lot of times those layers began to be constructed long before you had a conscious recollection of constructing them. In many cases your parents constructed them for you.

2.1. Denied emotions in parents enter their children

For instance let's say there was a core emotion inside of your parent that they're denying, and those of you who came to the parenting group know that every single core emotion that the parent denies the experience of, the child itself automatically experiences, as a reflection of what the parent is denying. So at that point the child is not getting damaged so much because the child is actually experiencing the emotion, and the emotion is allowed to pass through them. Where the damage enters the child is when the parent suppresses the emotion passing through the child as well, which the parent is highly likely to do because they are suppressing its own core emotion. So whenever the parent sees that emotion displayed in the child, they are going to also suppress the core emotion in the child.

So what happens is it's not so much the core emotion that's now entered the child but it's the action of suppression that the parent has taken against the child feeling the core emotion.

2.2. An example of a child learning that getting hugged when crying equates to love

I'll give you an example of that. Let's say a two year old child - or even a one year old child - is just crying, crying and crying. The child is now walking and maybe talking a little but the child is just crying all the time. Now the parent will highly likely at this point take a number of different actions because remember the child crying is actually what the parent needs to do. The parent needs to cry but isn't crying and that's why the child is crying in the majority of cases.

Now I'm not saying if they've hurt themselves or something like that, although even the child hurting itself is the parent's Law of Attraction, but if the child is actually just crying for no seeming reason then it's the parent denying the emotion within the parent. So the parent denies this grief and sadness in themselves, the child feels that grief and sadness and then expresses that grief and sadness. The child may take one of two options - it may go to the parent and hug the parent, because the child feels that the parent needs that kind of love from the child, or it may actually express the grief itself. It just depends on the personality of the child as to what it does.

Now if the child goes and hugs the parent, what does the parent generally do? The parent feels rewarding of that hug. So the parent now establishes an emotion on top of that grief that every time the child is crying the child doesn't have to feel that grief, you're going to get a hug from me. And that is actually suppressing the parent's own emotion. Can you see how it works? There's this interaction going on.

Now the child itself has been taught that as soon as it cries it needs to be hugged. That's what the child has been taught; the child's also been taught that as soon as it cries, the parent will respond with love to the child. That's what the child gets taught. Now I use the word "love" in quotation marks because it may not be loving at all. What would be the motive of the parent hugging the child? To stop the child from crying, which is not a loving action. Stopping anybody from doing anything is not a loving action, so a lot of times it's driven by another emotion. But the child then interprets that as love. So in that one instance the child has learnt at two years of age that love means if you cry you get hugged. [00:11:26.26]

So now let's translate that child up to an adult, she's a woman, twenty-five, she's married, her husband's a bit older than her maybe twenty-six or twenty-seven or thirty or whatever and whenever she cries her husband gets angry with her. What's she going to feel? That she's not being loved. So she's going to want a man who whenever she cries, he hugs her. That's what she's going to want and she'll interpret that as love. Now it may take her many years after that to work out actually that just because the man is hugging me it doesn't mean he's loving me. But that's the belief that's in her that came from two years of age and she'll have so many layers - layers and layers around those beliefs.

2.3. Anger is one of the outer layers around our core emotions

So allow yourself to see as an adult that these layers around the core emotions will be many and varied, and we've got to deconstruct these layers in order to get at the core emotion. Now one of the biggest outermost layers around this core emotion is the layer of anger because what does it do for us? This layer of anger gives us a seeming sense of control, a seeming sense of protection and a seeming sense of defence against feeling or experiencing the core emotion. That's what's actually happened inside of ourselves. So anger in this case can often be used as a defence towards feeling all of these different layers of emotions.

Anger is a common outer layer that we have around our core grief

2.3.1. An example of having an expectation of others

The layer of anger could also be used as an expectation of others to protect the emotion. For instance in the example I gave before of the lady who is now married, whenever she cries and her husband isn't hugging her, she gets angry with him. So why is she getting angry with him? Because he's not helping her suppress the core emotion. He's not helping her do that. So the core emotion is maybe that I'm unloved or I'm unwanted or I've been rejected, or whatever the core emotion is. So if you're crying and you're getting angry with someone at the same time, then you are not dealing with core emotions. So you can do that for years, cry and be angry with someone and not deal with the core emotion.

2.3.2. An example of suicidal people

Even things like suicide are actions taken with anger in most cases, where you've become so angry with everyone around you and what they've created inside you, and you don't want to allow yourself to actually feel your own emotion. People in suicidal states are often very, very angry people. In fact there are many spirits who have passed in suicidal states and the reasons why they pass into some of the lower parts of the spirit world is because they are so angry with everyone and they've blamed everyone for their life. Now often this blame has some substance, in the sense that many times in your own life you have been hurt or abused by someone else. But remember that we said yesterday that there is no such thing as justifiable anger. With justifiable anger all you are doing is justifying yourself not experiencing that causal emotion. That's all you are doing - giving yourself a good reason for not accessing that core emotion, and most of the time that core emotion will be a grief-based emotion, generally. So you're basically justifying yourself for not feeling your grief. You're giving yourself an out to not feel grief.

So the purpose of the anger can be many and varied. In the seminar outline you will find under "Why we suppress anger", you'll notice I've listed just some of the reasons why we actually shut down the anger. But then over the page you'll notice I've got a section of "Reasons why we get angry", and you'll notice I've listed ten or fifteen reasons why a person may get angry. There are all sorts of reasons why we might get angry or frustrated with another person. But in the end the core reason generally is that we do not wish to feel the core emotion that we need to feel to release so that it is no longer in us.

2.4. Core emotions create the Law of Attraction

It is actually this core emotion that creates our Law of Attraction. So while the core emotion remains in me, my Law of Attraction is going to keep on coming at me, triggering or attempting to access that core emotion.

So if that core emotion is "I feel rejected", I'm going to get a series of things happening in my life where people reject me. If the core emotion happens to be related to women rejecting me, and I'm a male, then in all of my love relationships, including with my mother, my sister and any women that I have a relationship with in my life, the majority of them will end up rejecting me because of my Law of Attraction to trigger that emotion. But what I'll do then generally if I'm a male, if I get rejected from a woman I will then tend to get into anger with them, feel upset with them for doing it. "Why are you rejecting me?" and get angry with them. Not understanding actually that my Law of Attraction is saying, "Actually this rejection from women is an emotion that I need to actually feel to its causal level." Once I feel that emotion to its causal level what will happen is the anger will no longer be present in any of these relationships. The causal emotion will be gone and I will now start attracting women who actually care for me and love me and don't want to reject me. And in fact even the relationships that I'm currently in, for instance with my mother or my sister, will automatically begin to change. And whether they're aware of it even or not, that's what will happen. [00:18:06.04]

2.5. Suppression of anger creates depression, becoming intellectual or feeling numb

So there's this process of suppression even of our anger can occur. So that's another layer if you like on top. The majority of us put up our hand, saying that we think we've suppressed our anger, so can you see that's just added another layer on top of what we need to start accessing? If you suppressed your anger that's when there's this tendency to go really into your mind when you live your day-to-day life, because you either live in your mind or you're going to get depressed.

Suppression of anger, which is another layer around our core emotions, creates depression

Now many of us have probably experienced depression over our life, in various different forms. If we've experienced depression then we have a tendency to suppress the layer of anger, which is the suppression of all of the other layers that lead to the core emotion.

Some people describe themselves as emotionally numb, where we can't feel the emotion and we can't seem to get at the emotion. If you're feeling numb emotionally that's generally a layer that you've placed around the anger in order to protect you from feeling the deeper emotions.

So depression or numbness are all these layers or coldness - you might feel a sense of coldness within you towards the world and towards people generally, you might feel a feeling of distance with everyone you meet and with everyone in your life. They are all layers of suppression of the actual anger, which then suppresses the deeper emotions.

So can you see the more suppression that we have, also, the more there is to undo? But in the end all of these suppressive layers have occurred because we don't want to feel the core emotion.

3. Accessing core emotions within us

So the first thing generally that I do is start praying - I first ask God to tell me why I am angry, what emotion am I trying to cover over? Generally the Law of Attraction will be showing you that - even at the moment you're asking God. The second thing I generally try to do is start praying about what am I afraid of about that emotion - what's my fear about this causal emotion? What that's done generally is allowed me to skip through a lot of these blockages really rapidly and get to the actual causal emotion and release that causal emotion. But it's your willingness to release the causal emotion that's going to define how rapidly this all works for you.

Most of us are very, very unwilling because we see this core emotion as a very powerful, overwhelming emotion that's going to destroy our lives. In most cases that is the way we feel. It is going to be a powerful and overwhelming emotion, that's why we wrap it up in all this cotton wool trying to protect it, but in the end what we need to do is just allow ourselves to experience it. If you allow yourself to experience it completely you will find it will be gone and also you will find there will be no reason for any layers above it anymore; so all of the layers will be gone over that emotion as well.

So you could say there are a few ways to access it: you could access the block and go down the blocks that way or you can really start focusing on the core emotion inside of yourself. So that's what we'll talk about a bit today.

Now if we're in this suppression mode, which the majority of us feel we are at some point, then we need to look at why we suppress. What are the reasons why we suppress? On the first page of the seminar outline you've got "why we suppress" and "how we suppress" the anger itself. Now what I would do firstly if I were you is just start going down those lists and ticking the ones that you know you use as personal tools to suppress what's underneath.

3.1. An example of a fear of being judged

So have you found yourself worrying about people's judgement of you with emotions, for example? How many of you feel that if you have an emotion that you're going to be judged? A fair majority of the audience: so that would be one you'd tick, that's one of the techniques you use - you worry about how others think about you. [00:22:55.15]

So what I would do then is I would start taking that to God. So I would say to God, help me find the reason, and this has to be a desire in me, remember all prayer is not just a thought; it's a feeling in you that needs to be generated. So you are basically then asking God to help you generate a feeling that you want to access why you are worried about other people's judgement. So what are some of the reasons why you'd be worried about other people's judgement? What are some of the reasons why you'd be worried about a person's judgement do you think? What are the fears that you'd have?

Participant: Rejection.

Rejection, yep, fear of rejection: so I'm going to be doing something for other people because I'm afraid that if I don't do this for other people - how they want it done - that they are going to reject me. So once I've identified that emotion I know straight away, if you think about it, that one of the core emotions that I'm worried about is rejection.

A feeling of rejection can be a core emotion

So can you see in just that one instance I've now identified a core emotion? Even if it's an intellectual identification, I've now identified a core emotion as a reason why I might get angry or as a reason why I've suppressed everything - because I'm afraid of rejection. If I'm afraid of rejection it means that I've got to yet feel the emotion of rejection. Can you see the linkage there? [00:24:58.20]

If I'm afraid of rejection then inside of me there must be an emotion of rejection that I'm afraid of allowing myself to experience. And if that's the case the fastest way for me to deal with that emotion is to go straight into feeling when I get triggered with an emotion of rejection. What's going to be the fastest way for me to get triggered with rejection? To stop doing something for someone else that I know they want me to do that I don't want to do. All I need to do is just stop it right now and I know the instant I do that, I'm going to get anger from them and I'm going to feel rejected. And if I can allow myself to get into the rejection then I will skip over all of these layers of suppression and when the rejection disappears, what will happen to most of the other layers? Of course there's no longer any need to protect that emotion anymore. So many of those layers will disappear too. Can you see the relationship between those two things?

3.2. An example of feeling unlovable

Alright, what's another emotion I might have where I'm worried about a person judging me?

Participant: Being unlovable.

Okay, I'm unlovable. So that's a pretty big core emotion within myself.

Feeling unlovable is a common core emotion

So what am I now doing? I'm pleasing other people so that they will love me. Now is that love that I'm really getting? No, because if you've got to please someone before they love you, then they don't love you, they're just getting something from you. But this is the thing that would have been set up when I was very young with my parents, for example \- what most parents feel if you don't do what I say or you don't do what I feel is that you don't love me anymore. And they taught us that at a very young age.

So I'm feeling unlovable, and the Law of Attraction will already be bringing me this emotion. The fastest way for me to get into that emotion is to stop doing things for the sake of getting love. And what will happen if you do that is you'll find that every single person in your life who doesn't really love you will get angry with you.

3.2.1. An example of earning "love" by cooking meals

So let's give an example. Let's say one of the things I do for love is cook my family a meal. So if you're one of these ladies who resent cooking meals all the time and you're tired of cooking meals all the time and you do it because it's the definition of being a good mum or a good wife, stop cooking a meal one night. Don't tell anybody, just don't cook the meal for that night and see what happens.

What will happen, what will generally be coming back at you will be, "What? How can you be doing this?" There will be this really strong projection back at you saying, "What are you doing?" And you say, "Actually I'm allowed to love myself and tonight I don't feel like cooking. Why don't you cook for me?" And if you get anger back from that, what is that telling you? That actually this relationship isn't as loving as what you believed it was. You will start feeling unloved, so allow yourself to feel the emotion of being unloved.

Can you see how it works? You can easily access these core emotions like that. The problem the majority of times is that these emotions feel so big inside of us that we don't allow ourselves to feel those emotions and instead what we do is we revert to some other form of suppression of that emotion.

So for instance, if the lady who keeps cooking for her husband and children all of a sudden decides she's going to have one night off, she takes one night off and everyone in the family is upset with her. What does she do? "How dare you get upset with me? I've cooked for you for twenty years and you've never cooked for me." What's she doing there? She's in this anger phase denying the experience of the - being unloved emotion. She'd be far better off allowing herself to just feel this terrible overwhelming feeling that she actually has felt for quite some time in herself, that she's not being loved doing this.

Participant: Hi, I'd like to know does it matter whether it's true or not that her family loves her or doesn't love her if she feels it?

Most of the time it will be true. So in the example that I've just given you, the truth is if the family is getting angry at the woman who's cooked for them for twenty years, and she's just taking a night off and all of a sudden they're angry, then they don't love her at that particular moment. They do not love her. If they loved her, what would they do? They'd say, "That's okay mum, we'll cook for tonight, you sit down and have a relax." Wouldn't they do that if they were loving?

Participant: I don't know - I've got an eleven, nine and seven year old.

It doesn't matter what age.

Participant: I don't cook anyway - my husband does. (Laughter)

But it really doesn't matter what age. Obviously unless they're little, tiny children, there's a big difference there. But I'm talking about children that are able to go and get a sandwich for themselves or do something for themselves for an evening. If they're angry with mum for not doing it for them, then there's no love in that particular instance. It doesn't mean they don't love her in other areas. It just means that in that particular state they are not loving her. And if she in that particular moment allows herself to feel it, she'll get the core emotion triggered.

Mary: If they're quite young children they'll just be reflecting your own emotion about feeling, "I'm not allowed to do this" and so they'll get angry at you.

Exactly. Yeah. So if they're very young children they're just going to reflect back at you the fact that you feel that you're not allowed to do it anyway. The older they get, and if they're reflecting anger back at you for other reasons, it's because actually they've learnt to be selfish from you by you doing all these things for them, and them not actually appreciating it. So their emotion will be triggered as well. But I'm not talking about their emotion; I'm saying focus on your emotion in that instance. So allow yourself to feel your emotion. [00:31:39.12]

3.2.2. Layers of anger and other emotions around a childhood feeling of being unloved

Participant: I was just wondering with that core and the anger emotion of I'm unloved. Now is that anger the causal that you're talking about yesterday, in Session 1, to get out, to release it?

No this anger is like an adult anger that I'm using to get away from the causal. The core emotion is the childhood emotion that I need to release and this anger is the adult anger that I'm using to actually cover over that. The child anger, if I have child anger will be down here under the layers, in the list of wrappers if you like, of what's wrapped around this emotion. Because normally what happens when we have a causal emotion at a childhood level that we're not allowed to release when we're a child, is we immediately put anger around that emotion.

Participant: So is that deeper again?

That's deeper again. So it's like, there's the adult anger, then there's some other emotions of blockages which is usually how do other people think of me, I'm not going to be able to do this, a lot of other things like that. Then we get down to I'm really angry as a child about being unloved and then there's the feeling of being unloved. That's the feeling in the end that we're aiming for. The feeling that we're aiming to release is the feeling that created all of these other layers above. And the reason why we created all these other layers is because we wanted to protect that feeling of being unloved.

3.3. An example of feeling alone

Participant: I've become very aware that I suppress anger because I have a feeling that I'll end up all alone and that I somehow won't cope with that. That it will be almost like dying.

Okay, so we could say that the deep emotional core belief in you is that I'm alone. I had a deep core belief that I am nothing to anybody.

Feeling alone or like we are nothing is a common core emotion

Now those things are not true in that there are many spirit friends around you that are always with you, and of course God's always with you wanting a relationship with you, and God certainly doesn't believe you're nothing. But you believe it. It comes from your childhood and it is an emotion that you need to allow yourself to feel.

So if you're using anger to get away from that emotion then start seeing the relationship between your anger and that emotion and say, "Oh, I'm just angry again because again I don't want to be alone." Even if you just tell yourself that message, you're going to be one step further towards feeling the feeling of alone and allowing yourself to feel it. The truth is that none of us are alone, ever. But you're not going to feel that truth until you release that emotion; until you release that emotion you're going to believe there is a state in your life where you could be totally alone.

My feelings of being alone were so great that there was a time in my physical life, in this life, where I was totally alone. My parents wouldn't speak to me, my children wouldn't speak to me, and none of my friends would speak to me. I lived alone and I didn't have any work because I was in my emotional turmoil at the time - quite suicidal, and totally alone. That's how much alone feeling I had to deal with, and then it took me about a year or so of processing in that state to get through that feeling and release that feeling of being just totally alone, and that nobody wants me, nobody cares about me. And the truth for my life was that was exactly the truth - at that moment nobody did.

That's the irony of dealing with a lot of these emotions is that you'll find actually that the truth is in those situations, just like the truth with the mum cooking the meal, is that right at the moment the family are not loving her. Right at that moment she is not experiencing love - she feels unloved and she's right. She is unloved and she needs to feel that. But it's the unloved feeling that creates the attraction. This is the thing we've got to understand. [00:35:55.10]

So my deep alone feeling was so great that it created the situation in my life where I was totally alone, that nobody wanted anything to do with me - every single person I knew. I had to then just allow myself to feel that feeling, which took some time to do, obviously. Now as I dealt with that feeling, people started coming into my life again. The first ones who started coming into my life were my sons and they came back into my life, and then I attracted a partner, and then things started happening. I started getting friends that I'd never had before; they were starting to be attracted into my life but only after I dealt with that feeling of being totally alone. My suggestion is don't wait that long. Like I was pretty stubborn on that emotion, so stubborn that I had to actually be totally alone in my life physically before I would deal with the emotion. My suggestion is don't wait that long. If you feel the feeling of I'm alone just in an instant, let yourself go into the feeling straight away rather than waiting and waiting for years and years until you get to a point where you are totally that thing.

3.4. Dealing with core emotions instantly changes the Law of Attraction

Participant: Quite a few years ago, I went through that alone, it was like I was so invisible that God didn't even know that I existed.

Yes.

Participant: And I stayed with that and then it was like I was hiding from God. And then to know that that was not so, it was hysterical and I burst out laughing and laughing. But yet I'm wondering is there another cause because I still am afraid of being shunned or rejected or not seen. So it's like all of that would have gone in that instant but it's not.

This is the thing to understand about core emotion. If the core emotion that you feel you have dealt with, was the cause, then instantly your life will change. But if the core emotion is deeper than that or has more facets to it, your life will not change. Your Law of Attraction tells you straight away whether you have actually released the core emotion or not.

So the answer obviously for yourself is no, there's more to this core emotion and maybe you burst out laughing just at the time there was something deeper there because often that is the case, where we revert to humour in order to cover over an emotion. So allow yourself to just experiment and pray about that a little more and allow yourself to dig a bit deeper into that. It may not be related to God but you may find that it's related to you and how you view you; in fact you'll find many of your emotions will actually be related to how you view yourself rather than how other people view you.

3.5. An example of feeling unlovable (continued)

For example, with this I'm unlovable feeling, basically there's this projection coming out of me to the world of "you don't love me". If I'm unlovable then there's a projection coming out of me, "you don't love me". Now there's also a deep emotional belief inside of me that I am totally unable to be loved. And that will be under the "I'm unlovable emotion". So I'm unlovable can actually finish up being a capping emotion and underneath the I'm unlovable is, there's something so bad or wrong with me that I'm actually unable to be loved. Even if somebody could love me, they can't because I'm unable to be loved. So there are some really deep causal emotions. So you may find that there are these layers of some of these really deep core emotions that you need to dig deeper into.

It's your Law of Attraction that tells you that it's not done yet. As soon as your Law of Attraction changes, you know I've dealt with a fair bit there now, I can feel my Law of Attraction changing; everything's starting to be different. So that means I'm getting to the core of this now. I'm really getting to the underlying emotion now.

If my Law of Attraction isn't changing then it means that I'm yet to really pinpoint the underlying emotion, so more prayer about it, more longing to God about giving you the answers about what's going on.

Of course if I'm not getting to a core then usually it means that I do not yet want to get to the core. So there's usually fear associated with the core. So for example I've gone through the emotion of I am unable to be loved by my soulmate, like she is never going to love me and in that emotion I've found a lot of basic core emotions. One of the core emotions that I dealt with even just recently was she won't be able to love me because the other times that she's loved me I was perfect. Now I'm not perfect, she's not going to be able to love that. So that was one facet of that emotion and there are other facets of that emotion that I need to work through. So they were all beliefs about myself in the end that I'm projecting on to my soulmate, that I'm saying she will have this feeling, when in fact Mary doesn't have that feeling, it's me who has that feeling.

3.6. An example of feeling persecuted

Participant: Could you address persecution under that heading of rejection and I'm unlovable? Like with that slave who was talking in Session 1, you had come to her while she was in the box being physically hidden away in the shed and told her all those things and she ...

It was a male actually, a male slave.

Participant: Oh sorry. He addressed all those emotions, but physically he's still being persecuted. So what would have happened to him? Also you were saying your deeper emotion about death was all to do with money, so you were killed because you were persecuted for people's beliefs about money. So how do we get over those deeper fears of the world where we know we're going to be persecuted? In Australia it doesn't happen but I can see the wider world where it's happening all the time. It's happened for our grandfathers, we're celebrating Anzac day and they've been living their whole lives revolving around this persecution.

Yes and the answer is that what we see as truth is not what God sees as truth.

Remember on this path what you're looking at is what is God's Truth not what is your own truth. So when I was in the first century being hung on the stake, I didn't have an emotion then of feeling persecuted because I knew that I wasn't. I knew God's Truth and that was that my soul was still free no matter what people tried to do to my material body. So if I was believing that I was persecuted in that moment it would be because I had a false belief inside of myself that needs to be released in that moment, that I can choose to release. [00:43:56.11]

So getting back to your example about the slave spirit, what he could have done in that state in the shed is he could have fully released his fear and terror, and then underneath the fear and terror would be the feeling of being persecuted or being tortured and he could have released that emotion completely and allowed himself to get into a state of complete calm. Now he couldn't do that given the emotional injuries that he already had - he would have had to have been pretty close to at-onement with God to actually do that, but that is something that could occur.

So often when we're looking at situations here on the Earth, and we're saying to ourselves, well this is how it really is now and we don't see how God sees it, we're only seeing it how we're seeing it. So he could have chosen to go into his emotions and if he released the causal emotion of being persecuted, the slave owner, the master would have probably chosen another person to imprison; in that way if the master didn't change his emotion - he would have chosen another person rather than that person because that person's Law of Attraction would have changed.

3.7. Dealing with core emotions instantly changes the Law of Attraction (continued)

See the problem is today that the majority do not trust the Law of Attraction. That's really the issue here; many of us do not have a belief in our hearts that if I change a causal emotion, my Law of Attraction will change. We do not have that belief. It is a truth that we do not believe. So what we do then is we justify. We say, "Oh what's the point in me feeling this emotion of rejection, nothing is going to change in my life if I feel that emotion. I will have just cried for four weeks or eight weeks or however long it's going to take to feel this emotion and nothing will change. I don't have a hope or a belief inside of me that anything will change."

The truth is that if I do deal with that core emotion something will actually change instantly but I've never had that experience during my entire life of seeing the relationship between changing a core emotion and seeing the Law of Attraction change. Until you have your first experience of your Law of Attraction changing you won't believe what I'm saying to you until you go through that emotion.

Participant: Oh yeah, I believe that it's just that ...

No I'm sorry, but you do not. Your question tells me you do not. This is where we can often tell ourselves in our mind that we believe something but that belief is yet to fully enter our heart. So in your case you believe completely in your mind that if you change a core emotion that your Law of Attraction will change. But in your heart, which drove your question, you do not believe the Law of Attraction will even affect an event where a man is in prison being persecuted. And I'm saying to you, yes it will affect that event, just like it will affect every other event when the core emotion is dealt with. At the moment in your heart you don't see how that could be the case.

3.7.1. An example of war

Participant: So that is the answer to give to all the politicians who are going off to Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran, and are fighting all those wars, because they are believing that they are fighting evil but they just have to believe in what you're saying and everything will change.

Yes, everything will change. The truth is that they are not fighting evil, they are creating more evil. That's what the truth is, and it's because of an emotion inside of themselves that they think that they have the right to oppress another person in order to combat so-called evil. They are actually now using evil to combat evil - that's what they're doing. Of course, it's never going to work. That's why it never does work and that's why all these wars keep on happening, keep on happening, keep on happening, keep on happening, because nobody wants to accept the truth.

It gets back down to this statement; if I'm getting the same results then I'm not changing the cause. And there's that other statement - how does it go? How stupid is it to keep doing the same thing over and over getting the same result. This is the trouble with the world today, is that we keep doing the same thing over and over and over and over again hoping for a different result, and it's not going to happen that way. We need to actually start addressing it at the core level, the emotional level.

So yes all of the people who go to war and all of the people who want to send them to war all need to change something at the emotional level in their belief structure. When that happens wars will cease, the Law of Attraction will change. And that starts with each of us doing it ourselves. [00:48:56.05]

4. Audience questions

4.1. Becoming vulnerable towards God

Participant: AJ one of the things I found with my anger is that I have trouble coming to the core emotion because to get to the core emotion I felt I had to be vulnerable, allowing myself and when I went down that feeling of what does vulnerable mean to me, it was actually at the time when I was young and vulnerable that all these things happened.

Okay. So what does vulnerable mean to you?

Participant: I have no protection. All sorts of things come up when I go down there, it's like where will you go, who's protecting me, my parents are meant to protect me if I'm meant to be vulnerable. I was vulnerable before and all of these things happened. I felt a bit of rage of about what's the point of it all - I've been there and I've done that and this is where it got me.

Can I stop you there though for a second? There's a big thing that's not factored into your reasoning though and that is that who was your parent then? It was these parents who you were vulnerable to and they damaged you; they were your parents then. Who is your parent now?

Participant: God.

God's your parent now. And that's the thing - you're not allowing yourself to be vulnerable with this new parent God, who is able to protect you, who is the only One probably on this planet who is able to love you and the only One probably able to help you as well. Can you see the relationship there? If I believe that God is this new parent that can actually supply these different needs to me and have some faith in that, then I will be more tempted to go into the vulnerable space with God.

Participant: Actually I've had a lot of blocks, and I still do, but with all the attempts I made the only way I found really to get some way into it was to pray to God.

Exactly.

Participant: Constantly, even though I felt like not worthy enough for Him to hear me, or whether I really believed in God - because if I did I wouldn't be doing what I did. I just keep trying and that has helped me access some of the emotions underneath. But I still come back sometimes about the vulnerable and staying in anger ...

Well let's look at the vulnerable issue itself. What's happening is that you're attempting to open up your vulnerability, but you are still thinking it's aimed towards people on earth. The first person to open up your vulnerability towards is God because God is the only person that is going to accept your vulnerability without harming you. Then allow yourself to actually demonstrate vulnerability at least in that relationship. So that's the first relationship you want to demonstrate this vulnerability in.

Once you demonstrate the vulnerability in the first relationship, then as God's Love enters you and heals the emotion, you become reassured in fact that no matter what happens to you God and you are always going to be together. No matter what happens to you, around you - so it doesn't matter who treats you badly, who treats you well, God is still going to be the constant that you're going to be able to be completely open and vulnerable towards, and God's Love is going to keep you secure in that place. That's the emotion you're working through and it's a very powerful emotion, when you get through that emotion you'll find you'll feel very, very different about being vulnerable to everyone else. [00:53:08.17]

Often it's the fear of being punished or the fear of being harmed again that causes us to withdraw from being vulnerable. But if I know that I've got one person in this universe who I'll never get harmed from and who will always love me no matter what happens to me, and I believe that in my heart - I have this feeling in my heart that that's true - then no matter what happens around me it will never really affect me.

So allow yourself to start experiencing your vulnerability towards God first. Don't worry about so much with everyone else; focus on being completely open and vulnerable towards God first. When you do that, God's Love will enter you, you will feel a securer bond between you and God and that will actually allow you to begin being vulnerable with other people. And when you get vulnerable with other people you'll find actually the same principles apply with your vulnerability with God \- actually most people are attracted to it. You'll find that will also then grow your confidence with regard to this being truthful in your own life.

4.2. An example of a participant feeling overwhelmed by the presentation

Participant: Sorry in advance, this is a bit of a muddled question. I'm here busily trying to absorb all of this stuff from the layers, and trying to get it all right in my head. I'm conscious that as usual I'm getting overwhelmed with having to keep track of it all. And not so long ago I thought, this is ridiculous, it has to be easier than this, I know it. I should just make the most of any emotion that I'm feeling and feel it.

So what's the emotion you're feeling right now?

Participant: A bit frightened now.

You're overwhelmed.

Participant: Overwhelmed, yes.

That was the emotion you were feeling.

Participant: Yeah, I'm often like that.

So you're overwhelmed because there are all these messages coming at your head and you're so used to using your head to sort everything out but there's this feeling inside of you now building saying, "I don't understand, I don't understand, I don't understand, I'm not getting this, I don't understand." So you're trying to understand it intellectually but the emotion inside of you is I don't understand. So allow yourself to feel that, allow yourself to just start sinking into, "I give up. I don't understand what the hell is going on." And let yourself feel that emotion because when you feel that emotion all of a sudden you'll have some clarity in your head and you'll be able to also get things there. [00:55:50.10]

Participant: Yeah I'm aware of that, I've done that.

No you haven't.

Participant: Well maybe I didn't but that wasn't really my question.

I know, so keep going.

4.3. Fear blocks the full expression of sadness

Participant: You said something before that I wondered if you could clarify. What I've been doing lately is if I feel something I just think alright I just feel it, I won't try and work it out. So I feel sad, so I feel sad and it's nice feeling sad actually because when I'm sad God is very close to me.

Exactly.

Participant: But then before you said something about sadness and anger, and I thought am I not allowed to feel sad? Because I know that I must have a lot of anger - I'm learning that I must have a lot of anger. But does that mean feeling sad is avoiding something?

No. See now you're trying to get back into your mind again. What you're doing is right. The message you're saying to yourself is I'm sad, I don't know what it's about, I'm allowed to feel it, so I feel it. That's good. If you're sad and you're not crying though, then obviously there's a deeper layer you could go to in the sadness. So there's only one question I ask myself in that is, "what am I afraid of?" I always just ask myself that question. What am I afraid of? Because it's always something I'm afraid of that stops me from going deeper. [00:57:11.24]

Participant: When you're sad you ask yourself - what you're afraid of?

When I'm sad but not crying.

Participant: There's crying and crying. If I'm not wholeheartedly sobbing my eyes out and other people do, is that worthless?

No it's not worthless but there is a fear. Do you see the relationship? Like nothing you do to help you access your emotions is worthless. So don't believe that, everything you do to access an emotion is worth something. But if I'm not sobbing my heart out when I'm sad, then I'm not fully yet into the emotion and there's a reason why, and that is because I'm afraid of something. So that's why, if I know I'm not in the deepest of the emotion, I just ask myself what am I afraid of? And I talk to God about that. I say to God what am I afraid of? I'm afraid that you'll do this or they'll do that or I'm afraid that this will happen and I'll just talk about that. So I might be having just a few tears but not yet into the real deep emotion of it, and I just ask myself what am I afraid of and now I just start talking to God, what am I afraid of about going deeper into this emotion. Because unless you are right into the emotion, there is something you're afraid of that is still stopping you from fully feeling the emotion.

Participant: So two things I can do when I'm crying a little bit, one is to ask what I'm afraid of. What I've always done is said, "Okay God here I am you can heal me now, can you help me out a bit?" So are there a whole lot of things you can do?

No, that's all you need to do because in that moment things will start popping into your mind what you're afraid of and if you just talk them back to God, "This is what I'm afraid of, when I was a kid this happened," you know you start saying things, you'll actually start connecting more to the grief that's underneath the fear when you start expressing the fear.

Participant: So it's always a fear? It's not what I'm sad about? It's what I'm afraid of?

No because if you were fully sad about that thing you would be fully feeling the sadness and you would be in a sobbing state. So there's always a fear capping that. It's the same with all of our emotions in the end if we're not fully experiencing an emotion just like a child would experience it.

For example if you take a lolly off a child and the child is just heartbroken. You imagine a two year old and it's there sucking on a lolly and you grab the lolly out of its mouth and take it away. What happens to the two year old? They do a tantrum and then what do they get into? Sobbing on the floor like this is the end of the world, just because of a lolly being taken off them. In the end we will be like that with regard to the emotion. If we're in grief, we'll be in grief, sobbing our heart out. And we'll feel it exiting us, we'll just feel this powerful emotion of grief just overwhelming us completely.

If I'm not yet at that level of processing the emotion then there is still a fear preventing the emotion from fully flowing through me. The fear might be that I'm afraid of judgment of others, it might be that I'm afraid of our next door neighbour hearing me; it could be anything just simple like that.

For instance when I was processing a lot of my grief, my next door neighbour's home was two metres away from my bedroom. Now of course they heard everything I was doing. I could hear everything they were doing in their bedroom, so they certainly heard everything I was doing in mine. So that was one of the fears that I had to allow myself to work through - that it didn't matter if they were even going to come and knock on the door, I had to work through that fear. When I worked through that fear I could more fully get into that causal emotion.

So yes unless you're fully experiencing the emotion as it is in its raw state, there will be a fear stopping the full experience. Allow yourself to look at the fear and ask yourself about the fear and ask God about the fear because processing the fear is about part of processing the emotion. It's about this process of clearing everything out of you including every fear you have, will leave you as well. So just those two things Karen, nothing else, you don't need to do anything else. [01:01:41.07]

Participant: Automatically.

That's why it's so simple. You don't have to work it all out you know.

4.4. False religious beliefs from our childhood negatively impact upon our relationship with God

Participant: We were always taught when we were children that Jesus was going to come and he was going to take the good people with him and the bad people were going to stay behind. My mother even made it a little bit better to say it was going to happen in our lifetime, which was right anyway. (Laughter)

Partly right.

Participant: Yeah. But what had happened was in Europe we came home for lunch from school. I came home one time and there was no one home, everything was opened, the doors were opened and my mother had gone. I got into absolute panic because Jesus had come and he had taken everyone away and he'd left me behind. It was absolute panic and it was the ultimate rejection by God. God rejected me because I wasn't good enough, because they were going to go to heaven and I was now going to go to hell and burn forever and ever and ever and ever. There was also some story going around with a millstone around your neck or something and chucked into somewhere. And I'm finding it really hard to connect to God. I try, I say, "Are you listening to me? Are you taking notes of all of this?"

Yep. These kind of causal events when we're little that are usually based around religion have a huge effect on our relationship with God. I've heard of ones who felt a real passion for God and then they realised that anybody with a passion for God had to be nun or a priest. They didn't want to be a nun or a priest, so they couldn't have a passion for God anymore. Then there are others who, in the name of "God" have had very, very unloving treatment, even sexually abusive and violent treatment given to them. So obviously they then attribute that treatment to God.

So my suggestion is if you can make the very first emotions that you deal with about God and what you feel about God, it's going to help you greatly with the other emotions that you deal with.

The emotion that you feel is this deep feeling that God has rejected you. So allow yourself to pray about that emotion, allow yourself to start stepping into that emotion as well; that in fact God doesn't want you, He wants everyone else but you. Allow yourself to start really stepping into that emotion and fully feel that feeling of rejection that you feel from God.

The truth is that down the track you will feel quite differently about God, but right at the moment let yourself feel that emotion because that emotion will open a gateway into the other emotions you have and then you'll also feel God helping you through the other emotions. So if you can do that, you'll find that your relationship with God will get re-established. At the moment it's very difficult for you to pray to someone who you feel has already rejected you. [01:04:49.24]

Participant: That's right.

So allow yourself to fully feel the rejection. Place yourself in the position where you feel that God has rejected you and just does not want you. Let yourself feel that emotion.

4.5. Accessing terrifying events from our childhood

Participant: In accessing childhood causal emotions I've done a lot of processing on myself, in getting to the bottom of this belief that I have that I'm all alone in the world. I have a terror of finding an event that is so horrifying that it would be a terrifying thing for me to remember, but I've actually never remembered any one terrifying event. Do you have to sort of dredge until you find a terrifying event or can it be sort of a whole series of things? I mean I've accessed fear of the dark and many other things in searching for why I feel alone but I've never really sort of come to any, you know - the pot of gold.

Okay. How many of you feel there is one terrifying event that is in your life that you feel is there but you just can't access? You'll find there's quite a number in the audience who feel this way. The answer for those people is yes, there is one terrifying event that is in your life that you can't access. Now there is a deep level of terror surrounding accessing the event. This applies to yourself - there is a deep level of terror around accessing the event. I've had similar terrifying events to access.

You'll notice that all of a sudden, just me confirming with you that there is an event, is all of a sudden bringing up emotion for you. So your own soul is confirming the truth that there is this terrifying event that you will eventually access. Now just allow yourself to understand that that's true. That's the first step: is to allow yourself to understand that's true. The denial you've had up to this point is that you haven't wanted to believe that that would be true, and that's why it's hard to access the event. Now most of these events surround abusive childhood situations - either sexual abuse, violent abuse, physical abuse.

Participant: Mental.

Mental abuse even, but usually it's something physically painful that occurred that these kind of events surround. Allow yourself to understand that yes, there probably is this one event. For many there could be more than one. But there'll be one that was the first one, which is the one you want to access, anyway. And yes, allow yourself to see that it is there because you know it's there in your heart. It doesn't matter at this stage what it is. At first just allow yourself to understand that what you suspect to be true is probably true. It is true. Allow yourself to acknowledge that. Also allow yourself to see that you will get to it if you keep accessing you emotions.

Start talking to God about that, about this one event - you know there is this one event and you would like to access it but you're afraid. Say what you're feeling about it, and you'll find that you will access the event pretty rapidly.

Now almost everyone who I've suggested this too has usually accessed the event in the following three months. They've usually got to the real core emotion about something that's been a very traumatic and terrifying event in their childhood. In some cases it's been even an event like someone drowned and was resuscitated - it could be an event like that as well, besides abuse.

So do you understand that it could be anything to do with something like that even, not just an abuse issue?

Participant: It's really ready to come too, in the last month or so it has been manifesting, bad indigestion, heartburn, I'm overheating and it's really wanting to come out. I'm a counsellor myself but I'm just really struggling with pulling this one out. It's just really sitting heavily.

So the main thing at this point is now to just start telling yourself that yes there is this event, yes I'm going to be able to do something about this event, we're going to get to the bottom of this event, and whatever it is you can actually handle. At the moment you don't believe you will be able to but with your relationship with God you'll be able to handle the event and the emotion surrounding the event and it will actually change your Law of Attraction quite markedly once you release the emotion.

In fact for anyone who's experienced childhood abuse or a childhood event that's been traumatic, when you release that event completely, your Law of Attraction will markedly change in lots of different areas. So there is a lot to look forward to in accessing the event too.

4.6. Moving out of a state of feeling numb

Participant: AJ I seem to be one of these really numb, suppressed people.

No worries.

Participant: And it feels great to hear about all the ideas about anger because it seems like yes it is an access point in, but it's something very foreign to me, you know.

Yes.

Participant: Although when I left here last night I got a really bad headache.

How many of you left with a bad headache yesterday? Quite a few would have. Yeah, that's quite a few that left with bad headaches.

Participant: Yeah. It was so bad and I felt really nauseous. I guess that was a chance to do something with it but I actually got very frozen and all I could do was be with the pain and keep still. That was my usual way I guess of dealing with that. I'd really just like to start. I just feel like I have no idea, I hear the knowledge of where to start but I can't connect at all.

So the issue is this feeling of numb. That's the feeling you currently feel.

I think I've told this story before, but a friend of mine from Canada came over and that's the feeling he felt, numb. He was so numb at the time he was twenty-three years of age, he'd never had a sexual experience in his entire life. He was numb to all sexuality; he was numb to the emotions of others. If you started talking to him about the emotions he would just go straight into his intellect and start intellectualising everything. This man is one of the fourteen - he's Luke from the Bible - and the first thing he had to do was start connecting to the fact that he was numb and then start looking at why he was choosing to be numb; because being numb is a choice.

So again the first question you ask is; what am I afraid of? And then what he did was one other thing that was really helpful, for two hours each day he tried to allow himself to be angry. Now at the start he didn't do a very good job of it. It took him three weeks of doing this before he started accessing his first underlying sad emotion. So after a period of three weeks of two hours in the morning, two hours at night, beating the hell out of this rubber man that he had in front of him with boxing bag and a baseball bat and all sorts of things, he eventually connected to anger within the first few days and then he stayed in an angry state, in this sort of numb angry state for nearly three weeks and then he experienced his first underlying emotion. [01:13:29.27]

So if we're in a numb state it's going to take effort to drill down. The pain that you experienced is the result of the underlying emotion wanting to come up but still the desire inside of yourself wanting to keep it down.

In the case of a headache usually it's the underlying emotion of sadness wanting to come up and I'm wanting to keep it back down and that takes a lot of intellectual energy. In fact migraines are a big sign of needing to cry or any headache in fact is a big sign of needing to cry but not wanting to allow myself.

So the second thing I would do is pray to God about why I don't want to allow myself to do it? So start talking to God about that and ask God and your guides to give you assistance to work out why. You'll find in doing that over the next few weeks some Law of Attraction events will occur showing you that you are afraid of something. When you realise what you're afraid of, talk to God about that. "Oh I'm not dealing with that because of this emotion," or whatever it is that you're feeling.

4.7. Fear creates the layers of emotions around causal emotions

Participant: So is numbness always afraid of something?

Remember I drew the causal emotion before? All of the layers that go around the causal emotion are all the result of fear, otherwise we'd experience that emotion. They're all the result of fear.

Fear creates layers of emotions around causal emotions (left circle)

Remember what fear is, fear is a False Expectation Appearing Real to you. It's something that you think is really real. Honestly in many cases it has been real in the past - that's why we feel it's real. Of course when we connect to God we find out that a lot of things we thought were real in the past are not actually real. But before that time, with these events that occur, so for instance if I was three years of age, and I got punished for being angry, then is punishment a real fear? Yes. Because when I was three I did get punished for being angry so anytime I get angry I'm going to feel afraid because I'm going to think that somebody is going to punish me. So it's a real fear - it's not real anymore - but it is a real fear from the past and that's the reason why we believe it.

For many occasions it's a real fear even of the future. So Mary's had some emotions she's been working through of, why open her heart to me when there's a high likelihood this time round that I'm going to die as well? Last time I did die, and it was shortly after she opened her heart to me too - only a year and a half after and then I died. So why open her heart to me now? There's a real threat of the future that that might happen. [01:16:32.22]

4.8. Becoming vulnerable towards God (continued)

Participant: I remember as a twenty year old having a feeling of cloaking my heart, thinking that is never going to happen to me again but then it wouldn't of happened at twenty if would of happened ...

Earlier.

Participant: Yeah.

Exactly. And at twenty was your last straw. That was the last time that you were ever going to let your heart be open again. So go back to that event now. So that's a good way to trace back into an emotion as well. But actually, it gets back to that question that you had about vulnerability, allow yourself to be vulnerable, at least with God. This is why our relationship with God can heal us completely. Our relationships with others have the potential to heal but it also has the potential to harm because the other person can be in a harmful state. [01:17:27.06]

So if you picture it this way, there's you, and there are some other people around you who are going to be in different states of error. But God, who can connect to you, is not in a state of error. God has no error with love. Other people have error. If I interact with these people when I'm trying to heal myself, obviously while it's probably good for my Law of Attraction, there is also the potential of harm because these people are in error, I'm in error, and there's a potential I'll harm them and there's a potential they'll harm me. But if I deal with every emotion, like in this issue of being vulnerable with God, there is no potential harm with God if I allow myself to be vulnerable.

Connecting with God, who has no error, can heal us more easily than connecting to other people who have error

So if you can allow that heart that you have that you wrapped up and said no one is going to hurt me again when you were twenty, if you can at least allow yourself to start talking with God about unwrapping your heart towards God. Rather than doing it with others first, start doing it with God and see what happens. And as God's Love enters you and softens you, you'll find you'll be able to start doing it with others.

4.9. Accessing anger and fear from a state of numbness

Participant: I've had a go at this and I find it really difficult, accessing anger through beating things up. I had an attempt at it, but after ranting and raving and saying how do I feel - I feel fine - nothing's happening.

When you're in a numb state, which is the state that you've closed yourself down towards, you'll find it's going to take more than one time to actually start accessing what's underneath it. You can't expect years and years of suppression to be undone in one little session trying to get to some anger.

Participant: But is that the only way into anger?

Usually numb covers fear. But in between numb and fear might be anger.

Participant: But maybe not.

But maybe not, you know. All of us have a different personality; all of us have a different way that we address things of what happened when we were little. There's a high likelihood that there will be anger in between, but there may not. There may be just some fears capping the sadness-based emotions.

But to be frank with you, for you to go in to a state of rigidity when you were twenty with your heart, there's got to be some anger there. So take yourself back to that state, how you felt, even the anger you felt in that state. Like why did you close down your heart? Why did you put this rigid sign on my heart saying, no, no one's ever going to get in there again? There's got to be some anger-based feelings related to that.

4.10. An example of a participant who is angry with her mother

Participant: I know that I have a lot of anger with my biological mother, but because there have been so many situations I don't know where to take it back to. And because I am so young, you know like, how far do I have to take it back to?

With yourself Morgan, you know you've been in your anger with your biological mum for some time. So the next step you need to be able to take is to get deeper than the anger and allow yourself to feel the sadness of her rejection. That's the thing you're choosing to not do. You don't want to let yourself feel that powerless state of being rejected.

So what's happening for yourself is you have this anger feeling inside of you towards your mum, you've experienced it a lot already and my feeling is you need to allow yourself now to dig deeper.

But there is a reason why you go into anger rather than dig deeper, and that is because you feel so hurt and you feel that it's going to be so pointless, that she's never going to love you, so what's the point of releasing it?

Now the point of releasing it is that you will be free of it. In other words it won't dictate to you your life anymore. That's the point of releasing it. At the moment, because you feel this anger, it's like her life is still affecting your life. How she feels about you is still affecting you. Can you see that? Whereas when you get below and you actually release the grief, how she feels about you will no longer affect you. And when that occurs you won't feel angry with her anymore. You probably won't have a relationship with her either but you won't feel angry with her and you won't feel sad anymore about it. The reason why you are getting into the anger still is because you do not want to feel that you'll never have a relationship with her. But that's probably the truth for some time to come until she works through her emotions. And that's the emotion you're avoiding. [01:23:21.19]

There is a spark of hope in you still that mum is going to love me, she's going to work out she's done the wrong thing and she's going to love me. That's why you're getting angry - because there's that spark of hope that you keep hoping, and she doesn't show that back to you. So you get angry at her for not showing it back. But what that's covering is just this deep feeling of grief: my mother does not love me. And right at the moment your mother does not love you, and that's the emotion you need to let yourself feel. And you're allowed to feel that because she does not love you. Down the track she may be very regretful about that at some point and start to love you but at the moment, that's the feeling, she does not love you.

5. Cancer is created by the suppression of emotions

Participant: Hi, I'm just wondering if you believe that serious illness is actually manifested as emotion.

It's the other way around. Emotions that are denied manifest serious illnesses.

Participant: Okay, because I have cancer and medicine has given me no hope.

That's right.

Participant: And I actually am on the path to do whatever I can because I have two small children. So I am very determined. I just wanted to know how do you actually go about it? Obviously I've got a series of emotions along the way and two years ago we lost our son, which was a hospital error. So I've obviously manifested that as well and so I just want to know is it possible, I guess I'm looking for ...

It's possible to cure your cancer by dealing with your emotions. The big issue with cancer is that there is already a lot of emotional suppression to create the cancer. So do you mind me asking where the cancer is?

Participant: No, cervix and it's spread.

Okay. The issue that you're facing is that you have some very, very deep anger and grief with sexuality and with sex itself, and that's what's affecting cancer in that region for you. If I can go through what cancer is. So I'll write it so you can see up the back.

Cancer is an illness - it's a life threatening illness. Cancer has resulted from suppression, where we're suppressing something emotionally. The suppression will be the suppression of some kind of emotion. Now usually it is the suppression of anger. Now under the anger there is usually a fear and under the fear there is usually the real emotion, which is usually going to be a grief-based emotion and usually with cancers there is related emotions of shame; self-shame. So feeling bad about yourself. [01:26:45.27]

Now where you get the cancer depends upon what emotion is being suppressed. So for example if I've got cancer in a breast, it will depend on whether it started in the left breast or the right breast as to what emotion I'm suppressing. There'll be an over nurturing thing that I'll be trying to do, which results in wanting to get love. If it's the left side it will be from the female, if it's from the right side it'll be from the male.

If I have cancer in the lungs, it will be some deep sadness that's occurred that I've suppressed, and this is why many smokers get lung cancer - because they smoke to suppress deep sadness that they don't want to feel. And then they cover that with a lot of deep anger about what they're sad about and then of course that creates the cancer in the lungs.

For many men there'll be a prostate cancer, and prostate cancer is very similar to cervix cancer in a woman, in that it's to do with the opposite gender. It's to do with some deep grief, grieving to do that is covered then by some fear and covered by some anger about the opposite gender and about sex with the opposite gender.

In each case usually all of these things are based around the underlying grief that is related usually to childhood events. So there'll be things that have happened in your childhood related to sexuality that you have not yet grieved that you need to allow yourself to grieve. But because they are powerful events, you've got some fear about grieving them and you're worried about that, so then that's created the anger and then because you don't allow the anger to be there, you've suppressed the anger and that then creates the body pain.

5.1. An example of cervical cancer

So the way to work through it is firstly step into the anger that you feel about sex and sexuality and the opposite sex then ask yourself questions about what you're afraid of and eventually you'll get down into the grief that you feel of some events, and you can do this quite rapidly. And I think you're aware of some of the events that happened in your childhood that may have caused you to have this feeling regarding sexuality that you have.

Now there's nothing that's triggering in your mind?

Participant: No not any sufficiently.

How does your mother feel about men?

Participant: She loves them as far as I know.

What does she do?

Participant: Job wise or ...?

No for men. You say your mum loves men.

Participant: Well she's married to my dad and as far as I know they've been very happily married for a very long time.

And who is the primary carer in the relationship do you feel?

Participant: Probably dad.

Okay so what emotion does your mum have towards your dad? Does dad do everything mum wants?

Participant: Yeah controls.

So mum is the controlling person in the relationship.

Participant: Yes.

Can you see that?

Participant: Yes.

So you would have grown up in this family environment where your mother is the controlling person in the relationship. Can you see why she would want to control a man? She doesn't want to be open and vulnerable and have an equal relationship with a man. She tells herself she does but she doesn't. She wants to have a controlling relationship. So she has some emotions of being special, and the man makes her feel special and wanted and all those kinds of emotions. So there must be an emotion inside of your mother of some deep anger towards men to cause her to want to control men to get exactly what she wants. Now can you see anything related to your relationship with men in there? [01:30:59.08]

Participant: Well I guess I can be a bit of a control freak, if I'm honest.

Okay so there are feelings you want from men and you feel men should give you those feelings. And that is the anger level that you are experiencing. There's a lot of anger in that, that you're unaware of, that you've suppressed, because your mother has suppressed it in herself. And how did your father treat you? He treated you sort of like a princess? [01:31:28.19]

Participant: Yes.

Yep. So that's caused you to feel what about men? That men should ...

Participant: Treat me like a princess.

Treat me like a princess. Exactly. You feel totally justified with that emotion at the moment but it's not actually a loving emotion. So the key is to start experimenting a little with this emotion, and start working through how forceful you feel about that inside of yourself and why that's the case because this is the cause of the cancer. There's grief surrounding that issue, surrounding your mum as well in connection. And there's also a connection with a spirit who's connected with you who has the same grief in herself. So I don't know if you believe in spirits, or not.

Participant: Yeah, like a grandmother spirit?

This is a spirit who has the same kind of feelings that you do towards men. And this spirit also passed with cancer.

Participant: My grandmother.

Okay. So your grandmother is actually affecting your cancer at the moment as well.

Participant: I had a dream about her about three months ago.

Yeah, so it's the combination of your own emotion which has been a long term running emotion in the women side of your family, your mother's family, and actually it's also been in the father's side of your family with the women in his family as well. And because of this long term emotion you have, that emotion in you, and your grandmother is very connected with you, she feels a strong rapport with you but actually, I believe she might have even passed with the same problem did she? [01:33:13.04]

Participant: Well she had lung cancer, but I guess I don't know what type of cancer it was in terms of cell wise, but it does normally appear in the lung, never in the cervix.

Yep. So there are some really deep feelings you need to work through about that. It's a family based generational feeling that has been impressed and the core of it is this emotion you have that men should treat me like a princess. So if you can start allowing yourself to connect to that emotionally, you'll start connecting with one of the feelings that you have, which is that you feel, "Well yes of course they should." That is one of the feelings I can feel back when I say those words. Allow yourself to go, "Well why should they?" Why should they treat you any different than you treat them? Sure, treat a woman like a princess but does that mean that you've got to treat him like a prince? Does your mother treat your father like a prince?

Participant: No.

Or is it just your father treating your mother like a princess? So can you see there is some imbalance in their relationship there, which obviously is a multi-generational family thing that has been impressed upon yourself. Now it is definitely related to sex and sexuality this issue, coming generationally through your families. So probably if you ask your mum about her mother and her grandmother, you may find that there are some sexual injuries that they've had, while they were on Earth, related to this emotion within you and your mum. Now if you allow yourself to connect to those things you'll find you'll be able to get to the cause of the cancer.

The problem with cancer illnesses is that we don't like looking at ourselves very much. What I've found is that with many people with cancer that I've been talking to don't want to get in to the emotion of how dominating and domineering they can be, and that's something inside of yourself to just be aware of.

Allow yourself to feel that controlling part of you, because it's that controlling part of you that is driven by some of these emotions, and a core emotion towards men, that controlling part of you is actually generating your cancer as well. It's about releasing that and that will help you work through the issue.

I can't really say too much more without having a private ...

Participant: Sure, thank you very much.

5.2. Multi-generational factors that create cancer

Participant: Hi with regards to this girl who was just talking. Why is the disease showing up in her and not her mother when the emotion is coming from her mum? Because quite often the children are dying but the parents are living ...

Usually it's because the child is more sensitive emotionally than the parent. There are also things to do with the child's personality that are involved with it as well. Then there is also the combination of the emotions coming from both lineages being oppressed, and then there's also the added issue of spirit attachment. So the truth probably is that the grandmother is not probably that attached to the mother, but more attached to the granddaughter, that's one issue.

So what I'm basically saying is, the reason why it happens in one generation and not another is that there are so many varietal factors that actually make it different for the child than for the parent.

Now in your family's case this injury exists on both lineages. The reason why your father for example is placating the woman all the time and treating the woman like a princess, often to his own detriment, is because he was taught to do that by his own parents and what happened in their own relationship. [01:37:15.17]

You could think of it as there's the mother's side of the family coming down towards you and there's the father's side of the family coming down towards you, and both of them have the same emotions. So now those emotions are going to kind of like double up in you, because they're unhealed. There are a lot of varietal factors that will occur which will create the problem in the child where the mother or the father may not necessarily have had it.

I've seen many cases where the child dies of cancer and then later on, twenty years later, the parents finish up dying of the same form of cancer. The reason why that happens is because the child has died because there is this concentration of emotions from both the male and female lineages in the child but the emotions still existed to a lesser extent in the parents. So that's what happened in times as well when you find that occurring. This is also why most cancers have a higher occurrence in certain family lines - because it's actually the emotions in those family lines that generate the disease.

5.3. An example of a participant grieving her son who died of cancer

Participant: Not long ago, we lost a son to cancer.

Yep. How old was he?

Participant: Forty-three.

What form of cancer do you mind me asking?

Participant: In the groin or liver, it started in the groin and then it moved on to other areas.

So it was testicular cancer or prostate cancer? No, just in the groin, in the muscle area of the groin?

Participant: In that area.

In the lymph areas of the groin?

Participant: There was a large lump.

And which side of the body? Can you remember, I'm sorry I'm asking you all of these things; I know you are still grieving.

Participant: Right hand side. My question is to do with anger. It took him about a year to die. But when we were aware that he was going to die, we'd been praying to God, doing all those things. I got very, very angry and I raged at God and I swore at him and I did all those things, I guess that I'm supposed to do. He died and after he died there was no anger, sort of a sense of peace but there's a great sense of grief which is very, very hard to control. What I was wondering is if it'd be easier to control that crying – which is the main thing is that we can't think of our boy without crying - or whether addressing maybe anger that I still have in me might improve that.

I feel you addressed a lot of the anger you had during the situation. The issue that you're facing now I believe is the grief. If I can just make some notes about your grief if you like. The issue with grief, particularly with losing children, is that when we're grieving there is a number of truths that we are not yet facing at an emotional level that we don't yet believe in our heart and what we need to do is allow ourselves to actually work through releasing the error through our grief, and once we release the error through our grief we'll eventually get to those truths. [01:41:36.04]

So if I can describe some of the truths for example. For instance, one truth is your son is still alive. Another truth is that he's probably enjoying himself a bit more now that he's passed than he was when he was here on Earth riddled with the cancer. Another truth is he has an eternal existence, as do yourself. Now these are very basic what I'd call core Divine Truths. So these are truths.

Releasing grief allows the absorption of core truths emotionally

The reason why we grieve is because we do not understand the truth at the emotional level. Now the reason why we do that is because there are lots of other emotions in between getting to core truths. The grief is the mechanism by which we can accept truth. It's through our grief that these core truths will eventually become a part of you. And when they become a part of you, you will actually get to a point where you will no longer be grieving and you will know in your heart these truths to be true. So you'll be able to think of your son with joy and happiness and not with grief. The grief is the tool by which you will eventually accept these truths.

Now at the moment for yourselves you're trying to control the extent of the grief. Some of the things I might say now might sound a little cruel but I want to be straight with you about them. The grief is actually not about the loss of your son, the grief is about what losing your son means to you. Can you see there's a difference between the two? In other words losing your son has triggered inside of you grieving-based emotions related to your own childhood in some way and things that you lost during this period of time of your growing up and into your adult life. What this grief is doing is triggering those events and that is why as soon as you think of your son, what is the next thing you think of? There's something you think of next.

Participant: One thing I didn't mention which I should have is that towards the end I was just so upset by the fact that it should of been me, it came from me, I had this history on both sides of my family dying of cancer and I got all the outward signs that I should have it but he did.

There's a very, very strong personal feeling of guilt in you that it should have been you. And in fact that emotion covers over some very, very strong childhood events where you were blamed for lots of things in your life. In fact your grief is actually helping you access this guilt and accessing other emotions. I won't write down what those emotions are because you will need to allow yourself to discover them in your childhood. But that's what's actually happening.

A participant's grief is revealing guilt and blame from her own childhood, which block the absorption of core truths

So your son's death has triggered in you all these terrible feelings of guilt that you have about yourself and your life and how it should have been you who passed. That's why the grieving is taking a while to work your way through. The key for you is to allow yourself now to go into what you feel guilty about and talk to God about those things. [01:45:53.21]

What is it that you feel guilty about? Do you feel guilty about living on Earth, while he's not here anymore? Do you feel guilty about; he had a family I gather? He had children too I gather? And you feel guilty about what's happened to the family, the children, and if it'd happened to you, you feel that none of those things would have happened to them? So there are a lot of feelings in there where you're taking on the blame, and that comes from a lot of things from your childhood. One of those where - you were blamed, and you need to allow yourself to actually work your way through.

When you work your way through that, you will no longer have this terrible feeling of guilt when you think of your son's passing and you'll actually then be able to grieve the actual loss of your son himself in the sense of your relationship, what you feel you've lost in your relationship, and once you do that you'll get to some core truths that actually your son is around you all the time and he's quite fine now. He's not physically ill and he can see what's going on with his family, he can see what's going on with you, that he loves you and cares about you, you'll start feeling all those truths inside of you.

So when you think of him he'll often be present and you'll feel him present and at some time in the future you may even finish up talking to him, after you've worked your way through those emotions. At the moment it's going to be very difficult for you to be able to hear him or talk with him because as soon as you even speak his name, this emotional process that I've described happens inside of you.

So allow yourself to actually go through the process and into the emotion of it and you'll get to the core of it, which will all be revolving around how much you were blamed and how much you took the blame as a result of being blamed in your childhood life and coming into your adult life. And you can feel some of the things in amongst that. And then when you grieve, you'll feel a sense of peace of it and once you get to that stage you'll also understand the truth at the heart level.

So rather than it just being an idea that your son's alive, you'll feel it in your heart, rather than just being an idea that you can communicate to him, whenever you want to talk to him, you'll just open your mouth and talk to him. And you'll feel his reflection of emotion if not anything else and at some point you may actually feel other things from him as well, you may even hear his voice at one point and know that everything's fine with him.

6. Releasing false beliefs

6.1. An example of a participant told religious lies in her childhood

Participant: Last year you said to write down your fears and I wrote down my fears and some of those fears I've been dealing with and healing, and my Law of Attraction has been changing. Lately I've been wanting to heal the fear of the Love of God. And today I've had memories, I was brought up a catholic and in church, big statue, Jesus on the cross, plastered, drips of blood and everything and feeling faint and I'm feeling faint now and dizzy, and a nun said that every time I was a naughty little girl I nailed Jesus to the cross and I made him feel more pain. And I used to feel faint in mass and in school, and I actually fainted. When I was naughty the devil's going to get me and all that sort of stuff. So I know that this fear of the Love of God is that stuff and the blockage between me and the love of God and I want to heal it.

It's a terrible thing to get told, being told that my death was made more torturous by your actions.

Participant: Yep, so it's my fault.

It's a major form of control that churches have used over children in particular. It's a terrible thing to say to somebody, isn't it?

Participant: Little children of five, six, seven.

Yeah. Alright let's look at how to deal with it. If you can think of a fear scale and, the opposite to fear is truth. The problem with fears is they all enter us emotionally. So remember that fear and truth are not just intellectual concepts. They are actually emotions. So that means that every single fear that entered me, I'm not going to be able to deal with it by just saying the fear - I'm actually going to have to deal with it by feeling the fear.

So your fear in this case was that my death was made more torturous by you sinning. That's the indication that they gave to you. That is not the truth. You know intellectually that's not the truth. Intellectually you know the truth is that actually I only died, well as I said yesterday, because of money, basically that's the only reason why I died and because of the conflict between truth and error, that's the only reason why I died. Intellectually you know that but emotionally you don't feel that.

Participant: That's right.

So the only way to get to feel that emotionally is to actually feel the fears that you have leaving you. So what were you told?

Participant: I caused you pain.

Karisma caused Jesus pain and it was torture by sinning. By the way you could replace me with anybody here.

Fears, which are emotional within us, block us from feeling the truth on that subject

So a lot of times one of the emotions that we all have is we're afraid of hurting other people. Most people have that. So if your mother when you are young told you, "You're hurting me," when you feel that, "You hurt me when you did that," it's the same emotion. It's the same kind of emotion but directed at your mother, not God. So this emotion exists in the majority of us because most of the times our parents have taught us things like you're hurting me when you do this, or you're causing me more pain, or don't you realise how bad you're making my life when you say that and so forth; these kinds of emotions are often projected at us. [01:53:44.23]

You will need to feel that you did do that. Because that's what you feel inside of you, to release it. So let yourself feel that. So rather than fighting the belief that it occurred, go into the childhood feeling that that's what you did.

Now you know intellectually it's not true, but that's immaterial. You will know emotionally it's not true when you release from yourself emotionally that you did that. And so you're going to have to have a good cry about the fact that you believe you caused me pain.

Now if I just let you do that, and those of you who have this same feeling with your mother or your father, let yourself believe it to be true in this instance and let yourself feel it. Because the truth is in your heart you believe it to be true. So you let yourself believe it to be true and feel it. When you feel it fully and pray to God about that, what will happen is you'll come out the other end of that feeling, releasing it and you'll no longer believe it.

Participant: When I was a young child and I had tantrums and I sort of react angrily. I'd throw my arms around and sort of get quite angry and either I'd storm out of the door or I'd stub my toe or...

So when you were a young child you used to have tantrums.

Participant: Yeah when I was a young child I'd have tantrums and I'd sort of get into a state where I'd scream and yell and sort of shake as well and when I'd try to leave or something, I'd stub my toe or hit my elbow and my mother would say to me, "Ha, ha, see, the devil got you back for those actions." And that's just something I'm feeling from my mother.

Yeah, exactly. These are all messages that our parents give us and in fact religions also do the same thing - they give us the messages to control us, and unfortunately they enter us emotionally. So this is one reason why you would have some fear about the devil. So even though you might not even believe in a devil in your mind, but the emotion as a child will be that the devil got you back every time you were bad.

Participant: Yeah.

Yeah, so you have this feeling in you of constantly being on the lookout for the devil and getting you back if you were to do a bad thing.

Participant: Yeah. Just sort of suppressing emotion because when I sort of let it out, something ...

So now you suppress the emotions because you think if you let them out the devil's going to get you.

Participant: Yeah, it didn't have to be a living person to do that.

Exactly. No living person's going to punish you but somebody from the spirit world will, which for many children is actually scarier. So many parents go through this problem of control with their children and so they dream up many forms of how to control their children including like, "I can see you even when I'm not here." And if they have a spirit with them, that is actually true. So if the parent has a spirit with them telling them what a child's done, then the parent can say to the child, "I can see you even when I'm not here. You make sure you do the right thing because if you do the wrong thing I'll know."

I've had people that I've met who've had parents like this, who have come back and said, "You did this and you did that and you did this, didn't you?" and they gave them a good belting for all the things they did when the parent wasn't even there. But the parent knows they did those things because of a spirit telling them. That just creates this huge terror in the child because they feel controlled even when the parent is not there.

So there are adult children that are now working through their emotions who feel like their parents, who are now seventy or eighty, are still controlling them because of this emotion in them. So these are really damaging emotions to work through. [01:58:00.24]

Anger Is Your Guide: Session 2 Part 2

Alright, how's everyone doing? Good. Feeling a bit better than yesterday? Has everyone noticed the energy is a bit better than yesterday? Still a bit of a resistance today but the energy is a bit better than yesterday, which is really good. The main issues yesterday were this deep resistance to thinking that anybody's angry and this deep resistance to actually allowing it to be discussed or triggered. So yesterday there was this really oppressive load.

There were also quite a few spirits here yesterday and when I say quite a few, I think there were close to a million spirits here yesterday. Many of them were brought here by Celestial spirits because of their angry state and these Celestial spirits thought that the spirits would benefit from the information. Through the night I had the feeling that the majority of them did benefit from the information. When I went home last night I felt quite disappointed about yesterday because of feeling I didn't do a good job yesterday and didn't perhaps confront your anger more than I did. But after my sleep last night I realised that a lot of the spirits who were here were definitely assisted so I was pretty happy about that when I woke up this morning.

With regard to this anger discussion, it is a difficult thing and it's a big scary thing that most people find because we're so focused on trying to keep everything at an equilibrium, where everything is nice and safe and secure and when we start talking about anger there are so many competing emotions, even in the discussion. One of the competing emotions is; well what if I get into anger and kill somebody? A lot of people feel that there is that much rage inside of themselves that if they let themselves start experiencing it, they're going to do some major damage to people. Others feel like that, no I don't want to be perceived as being angry. "What, me? Angry? No, no I'm this loving, nice, calm, spiritual person that I've been all my life." And they don't want to concede that perhaps there's some anger inside of themselves that's really affecting their life.

Then others understand that yes the anger is a gateway into what is underneath and they do not want to go underneath. So many of us have this feeling of, "I do not want to go underneath. What's AJ doing to me? He's trying to get me underneath and I don't want to go underneath." This is why a lot of times many of us feel really buoyant after I have a discussion about love or natural love or something that's a little more external to myself; a lot of us come away from that kind of discussion feeling really enthused and buoyant and quite encouraged and so forth, and walk away on a cloud nine type of feeling. Some of you have felt that after a group, for different groups.

Then when we have a discussion about fear or we have a discussion about anger everybody goes into this closed down, shut down state. And when we walk away at night we go away with a headache instead of feeling good. The reason why is because we are wanting to keep down the truth about it inside of ourselves. So my suggestion is to allow yourself, even a bit further to open up and open up and allow the fact that there is some anger in there and allow the fact of that's about to start coming into your consciousness because it's that work that's going to bring you closer to God and also closer to other people in your life. [02:02:07.18]

So for example, if you have anger specifically directed towards the opposite sex, then obviously that's going to keep you at a distance between yourself and the opposite sex. Now if you have a heterosexual type of relationship, then obviously it's keeping distance between you and your partner if you have injuries towards the opposite sex. So allow yourself to work through those injuries and allow yourself to get closer because if we don't face these things, we'll never experience the bliss that's possible to experience. So allow yourself to dig deep into those emotions.

7. Discussion with Mary about her anger towards men

I was wondering, Mary, whether you want to just join me and talk about some of your emotions about the opposite sex? She's just in the middle of her processing. You don't have to.

Mary: No fine, you just took me by surprise.

What I would like to do from now on, after Mary's finished, is invite others to come up and talk about some of their feelings about things too. Fire away, darling.

Mary: What am I going to talk about?

Well remember we were mentioning a few things about anger that you felt, was it last night or this morning?

Mary: Yesterday I started saying that I was recognising that I was so angry at men in my life. Some of that was triggered when I met AJ as well and I realised that that's related to some first century memories that I still find hard to talk about publicly, so that's a good trigger for me today. So when I first met AJ the first emotion that I connected to was anger. And I think he was relating yesterday about four days into our trip together I hit this huge grief, rage-based emotion that seemed to come out of nowhere.

Mary: When I wrote about it in my journal, it was a very strange experience because all of these feelings were coming up in me that I didn't understand. But the predominant thing was that he had left me and abandoned me and I was very, very angry about that. I felt that I couldn't trust him again because that would be what would happen again. That has been an emotion that I have been working through for about a year now. It's a big one. And as I get further down into it, something that I've been working through say in the last couple of months is the feeling that AJ can't understand the pain that I've gone through and he still doesn't understand the pain that I've gone through.

Mary: I had this realisation yesterday that that was actually almost a cap, that's a huge emotion in me so it's hard to feel that it's a cap but it's actually is a cap. It's an avoidance of feeling just the deep grief and pain that I did feel at that time that I still feel connected to.

Mary: I think the reason we sort of thought it would be good to talk about it today is that I do see that in other women - there's this real anger that men don't understand us. It is more of an attitude that I feel is quite an angry attitude that a lot of women have. But it is actually an avoidance of a deeper grief that we have about how we feel that men have treated us.

7.1. An example of women feeling not understood my men

So sometimes these emotions like the one that Mary's just pointed out, the emotion of, I'm not understood by you... So let's say you're in a relationship with a partner and you're a woman and you feel like the man doesn't understand you. There's then this temptation to project a lot of anger at him every time he doesn't understand you. Rather than doing that, see that as just a cap over an emotion of, I'm not understood by men. Underneath that is the core emotion that I've got to feel, and that is nobody can understand me. That is the core emotion underneath that. And no one can understand me because I'm a woman. [02:06:33.21]

Mary: I feel hurt because of men's actions, that kind of thing.

So allow yourself to dig deeper into it rather than just projecting that surface layer towards your partner.

Mary: Because if you think about it, well us women, a lot of us have that belief. We don't even think that's anger, that's a belief. Men just don't understand us women. But I'm telling you that's anger, so if you have that belief, you're angry at men. It's actually not true either. This man, AJ, understands me.

So you know the "men are from Mars and the women from Venus" thinking, while it's gained a lot of popularity, because of the misunderstanding between the sexes, the truth is the way God designed us is that we're one soul together. So in the end how can we ever misunderstand the other? Once I break down all the barriers inside of me towards feeling misunderstood and also misunderstanding and once Mary breaks down the same barriers, then of course we'll completely understand each other - in fact so completely that Mary's emotion will pass through me as she's feeling it, and my emotion will pass through Mary as I'm feeling it. We won't even have to open our mouths to say what the emotion is, the other person will be automatically feeling it. [02:08:02.15]

Mary: If you think about it even energetically, this belief that men don't understand me is a very much pushing away sort of a thing, whereas if I'm in my grief of feeling misunderstood it's much more allowing and you create a different energy between the two of you.

Yeah. So if I'm focused on allowing all of my emotion to be present within me and feeling all of my emotion and Mary's focusing on the same thing with herself, then obviously now emotion can actually go between us and it actually creates more understanding. She will then understand me because she can feel my emotion. I will be able to understand her because I can feel her emotion.

You see all misunderstanding between the sexes is all because we've got blockages to letting ourselves feel their emotion, or we've got blockages to feeling our own emotion, or we've got blockages to allowing them to feel our emotion. And all of the misunderstandings that occur are because these blockages are in the way for Mary to feel my stuff and me to feel Mary's stuff. When I feel Mary's stuff and my own and when Mary feels her own stuff and my stuff, we'll have complete understanding in the relationship, complete knowing without opening our mouths about what emotion we're going through in every particular instance. And that's what it will mean in the end to be closely unioned as soul halves into a complete soul.

7.2. Opening up to men

Mary: Another thing is that under my anger I realised I had a lot of fear – I think you mentioned it earlier - about feeling that if I'm vulnerable and I lose this man then that will hurt worse than if I don't open my heart, and I do think a lot of women have that feeling as well. I have realised that actually it's cutting off your nose to spite your face because I'm keeping him at a distance all the time because I'm very afraid of losing the potential loving connection. But in the end he's at a distance anyway and we make each other miserable from a distance. So I'm preventing a potential experience of pure joy and happiness for fear of losing it.

So can you see a lot of times we're worried about future events and the fear of a future event creates the anger in the present. We're afraid in the future that I'll lose it, and if I'll lose it in the future, then what's the point of me opening up now? I may as well give up now rather than losing that in the future.

So imagine what it feels like for you to be in a beautiful, loving relationship, and then your partner died. There are going to be some emotions about that aren't there, if we're not yet in an at-onement condition. There'll be some emotions there. So the key for me is to again just allow all of these feelings to pass through me. Mary does the same thing \- rather than focusing on what may happen in the future. The irony is, once I release these emotions anyway, what will happen in the future will be a lot better that what will happen if I hold on to these emotions right now. [02:11:27.05]

Mary: Because while I'm still in grief I can't actually love properly anyway.

And while you're in anger you can't love properly either. And while you're in fear you can't love properly either.

7.3. Allowing emotions to pass through us

Participant: I've been having a problem with just trying to get into the fear of having a relationship with a man again. I know that there's probably a lot of anger towards men still. The other day I kept on saying, "I just want someone to love me, I just want someone to love me." And then all of a sudden I realised, no I don't, because I've still got this anger and this fear.

And can I just stop you for a moment. Think about the reciprocal. You didn't say I want to love someone.

Participant: Well that's the other thing that came to me this morning, I had a huge release even before I came today and I was saying, "I just want someone to love me," and then I turned it around and said, "I want someone I can give my love to and not be rejected." So that was huge for me. And then I went in and realised that God was already there doing that for me, so that was wonderful. But what I wanted to ask was, when you say about the emotion passing through you, do you mean not taking it personally? Like sort of trying not to take it personally?

Every emotion is personal.

Participant: Yeah well, you mean once you're sort of at-one with God it will pass through you.

No I'm saying even for a child the emotion passes through them. So for example, if you look at a child, when a child starts crying, if you just let it cry, it cries for as long as it needs to cry and then stops. Then after that it gets up and walks around as if nothing had happened. Do you notice that with children? They have their big cry or their big tantrum, or whatever it is they're having at that moment, and then they get up straight afterwards almost as if nothing has actually just happened. So when an emotion fully passes through you, there is nothing left stored inside of you of that particular emotion, at that moment. So if I'm letting all emotion pass through me, I'm experiencing all emotion as it's passing through me, when it's finished passing through me, it's not something that I've stored inside of me. [02:13:56.03]

7.4. Focusing on our own feelings rather than trying to understand the other person

Participant: And just one other thing, when you were talking about women not understanding men, I've actually turned that around and it seems to me that I don't understand men. I'm not worried about them not understanding me, I just don't understand their thinking at the moment.

Participant: The other thing is that I keep having this recurring dream over the last three of four years, being very anxious about people understanding me. "Why don't you just understand me? Why don't you let me say what I need to say?" It's like I end up screaming because I don't feel like that I'm being understood. So is that all part of the relationship thing and the anger thing?

Mary: Yeah, your statement that "I don't understand men" is very blanket though. There's obviously specific men in your life and specific male relationships in the past, so if you can make it more personal. Because when we just say, "Oh who understands men?" it gets us away from lots of stuff.

Participant: There is a man in my life, well I'd like him in my life, and I think he's my soulmate, but I'm getting mixed messages. I have so much grief over not being with this man, every time I think about it I cry. So I think there's got to be something there but I don't understand where he's coming from.

Mary: Instead of trying to understand where he's coming from, just focus on what is being triggered in you right now because it is your Law of Attraction even if he is your soulmate. So just try and go into, "Okay mixed messages, how does that make me feel?" Just go into all of that. Don't try and put him in a box yet or understand exactly what's happening with him.

This is the main problem that many have not only with their husbands or wives or partners but also with parents. A lot of times we don't allow ourselves to feel our emotion because we're so busy trying to understand the other person's emotion, and why they did what they did. Forget about why they're doing what they're doing, forget about why they did what they did, forget about what you think they're going to do in the future and just focus on what am I feeling about what is happening with me right now in this relationship? What are my feelings? [02:16:33.02]

Mary: That's a classic tool I used to use to get myself out of my emotions - to try and understand where the other person was coming from, have compassion for that, "Oh well that's just where they're at." In doing that I just skipped over a whole lot of emotion of how I felt about the treatment of me.

Participant: I think I'm just feeling like you if I don't do it quick enough he's going to be gone.

If he's your soulmate, that's not going to happen.

Participant: Yeah I know but that's kind of ...

Mary: I understand that feeling though.

8. Audience questions

8.1. Working through issues in friendship relationships benefit other relationships

Participant: Just one more thing because I am a single woman and I don't have a man in my life. I love the way the two of you bounce things of each other and you've got each other to help along. I share a house with Nada, and it's kind of like being in a relationship because we're sharing a house. If things trigger us, we should be talking to each other but will that help an intimate relationship in the long run as well?

Mary: Any emotional work that you do will help an intimate relationship in the long run. Definitely.

And you're right, the fact that you're living with another person is your Law of Attraction, so obviously there's something for you to learn in that interaction. If both of you are in the state where you're both working through your emotions, that can be a very powerful interaction, if you're both working through the information. In the end though, you still need to take personal responsibility for your own responses and in the end the most powerful development that you'll ever do is the development you do with your relationship with God.

8.1.1. Benefits of focusing on a relationship with God first

I keep saying this to everyone - God is not damaged. So if I'm not feeling love from God right now, it's not because God's not trying to give it. It's because I've got a blockage to receiving it. And if I heal that blockage to receiving it, I'll instantly at that moment feel the love coming from God. Now God's not damaged in receiving love either, so when I have a feeling of love towards God, God instantly feels that. So instead of having this feeling of I'm trying to love someone, trying to love someone, they're not letting themselves feel loved, you won't feel that with God. So if you're not feeling that God feels you love, then there's another problem inside of yourself. Because God is not damaged in giving and receiving love, then if I'm not receiving from God or not giving to God, it's all my own stuff. That's the beauty of that relationship. If you focus on that relationship first, in developing love, what will happen is that every other relationship will be greatly assisted by that. [02:19:21.04]

But the Law of Attraction has certainly brought you into a living situation with another woman. So if that's the case, then there are things that - as women \- that you need to heal that each of you probably have opposites, or some kind of sympathetic attraction for. If you work your way through your issues or your annoyances or different anger that you might feel with each other or different things that happen between each other, that will certainly go towards healing yourself, and healing yourself is one of the biggest things that needs to occur in any relationship with the opposite sex.

Participant: Okay, one more very quick thing, it's a really, really good thing. I was banging and thrashing in the garage this morning and I was yelling and I was crying. I was making a lot of noise, and we live in suburbia. Nada told me after I finished that within probably a minute and a half of me making that noise, the lady across the road rang her and she said, "Nada, are you okay, are you alright?" And we felt that was a very positive thing and for Nada particularly because she felt as though that somebody really cared about her and it made us both feel safe that we can do this without fearing the police turning up.

So that neighbour obviously did care about you because unlike what happened last weekend, the neighbour tried to call you first. I'm sure if they didn't get you they might have called the police, but at least they demonstrated love to you. That's fantastic when you feel that coming at you from somebody who you may not have even known very well. That's a lovely healing type of an emotion that you can also receive, certainly.

8.2. An example of a gay male dealing with his grandfather's sexual rage

Participant: I feel like I haven't stopped processing since last week, the angry activist. I'm wondering if you can help me with what's going on at the moment. I seem to have my grandfather's sexual rage and feelings of powerlessness associated with that, conflicting with my mother's anger at him. My mother was perpetrated against by him. I seem to have this war going on inside of me that I can't resolve. Now can you give me any clues about how I might help myself deal with that please?

Sure. Firstly, you're feeling a lot of your grandfather's sexual rage at the moment because your grandfather, as you know, is around you at times, and so you're actually feeling it from him.

Participant: And there's another thing, I was actually born on his birthday.

Yeah. So there are some significant things going on between you and your grandfather. Your grandfather does have a lot of anger towards the feminine, and he sees homosexuality to a degree as sort of a feminine thing rather than a masculine thing. So he's directing a lot of his sexual rage at you. So that's something that you're having to deal with.

Then I feel Brian, that you sided on your mother's emotions. You have a deep commiseration feeling, I suppose, towards women and the fact that women have been abused - because as a homosexual male that's often what's been aimed at you. So you can deeply relate to a woman's sexual abuse, and to a degree this is what's attracting your grandfather's feelings. So the key for you is to go into your emotional sadness and grief about how you've been treated as a homosexual man and allow yourself to fully connect to those emotions.

The other feelings you're feeling are actually your grandfather's feelings towards you. So you can talk to your grandfather about what he's done; you obviously have a spirit connection, so you can talk to him about what he's done. You can talk to him about the fact that he needs to go away and feel his own sexual rage towards women, and work through that emotionally rather than projecting it at you, because that's what he's doing at the moment. [02:24:21.15]

Participant: Yeah.

9. Discussion with a participant, Jenn, who was angry and blaming others

Participant: This morning Graham and I had some things happen for us. I wrote it down, is it alright if I just read it?

No. I want instead for you to come up here, and I want to talk to you about another issue. (Applause)

Participant: I'm really scared.

I know. I don't bite. You're worried that I do though! (Laughs) Sit down. Do you remember yesterday, in "Anger is Your Guide: Session 1", when you were talking to me up here?

Participant: Yes.

Do you remember what you were saying to me?

Participant: Lots of it, yes.

Do you remember how when you started you said to me, "You're Jesus," and then off you went. Do you remember that?

Participant: Yes.

What do you feel about that now?

Participant: That you can't help me. That in reality you're just a man doing a job and I've got to do it for me.

Yes. So can you see how you were expressing your rage really in that moment towards me? What you were doing in that moment, you were saying I would somehow be able to fix this in you. Can you see that?

Participant: Yep.

There was that expectation in you that I somehow fix something in you. So that was an expression, even though you were crying, that was an expression of anger, you were ragefully crying in that moment. You were actually wanting me to fix something, rather than you actually feel the painful emotion you were experiencing.

Now the next thing that happened after that was that you did exactly the same thing with one of your sons. Remember one of the things you said with your sons was you asked him how he was doing and he turned around and he got angry with you, and remember you were crying about that? [02:27:16.26]

Participant: Yeah.

But actually that was just masking over some rage towards men as well. What you were masking over there was the fact that you had created this rage within him and now you're upset that he's doing it to you and you want him to stop. That was the emotion.

Participant: But I gave him permission to be angry.

No you didn't. I know verbally you did, but from an emotional perspective you're saying to him, "Please don't be angry with me son, please don't be angry with me son, this hurts me." That's the emotion that was coming from you towards him in that instant. That's why he reacted to it. So what was happening there was again a denial - you were expecting your son not to be rageful with you because you didn't want to feel the pain of your own emotion.

You remember then you said a similar thing about God, soon after that in the conversation? You felt angry with God that God has created this system where you did things, do you remember that? Where you said you did things to other people that harmed them and you did them unconsciously. Now what you were doing in that instance was you were blaming God for the pain you were feeling. And in every one of those instances, you were not going to fully allow yourself to feel the pain itself. Can you see what I'm saying to you?

Now I didn't raise this with you yesterday because you weren't in the space where I could say these things, you're more in the space today where I can say them. But what was actually happening in almost that entire interaction there was a projection of emotion in every single case of anger towards me, God, your son and instead of you allowing yourself to completely feel the pain you were in.

Participant: So how do I get to that then?

Well the issue is that you're still not fully willing to feel that pain without feeling like that someone else is to blame for it. Do you follow me? See at the moment there's still this feeling in you that your parents are to blame for it, that God is to blame for it, AJ's to blame for it, Jesus is to blame for it, your son's to blame for it, but there's not this full feeling in you that actually, no one is to blame for it - I've just got to feel it. Do you see the difference? I've just got to feel it without projecting the blame, without projecting the desire for someone else to take it away from me.

Participant: If you're telling me that in that moment of being so broken down, I still wasn't feeling the depth of my pain, then I don't understand.

I know, but that's what I'm saying. Because at that moment what you were doing was you were projecting anger at God, at me, at your son, at your father, but you were not yet at that point fully experiencing the grief of the emotion itself, the pain of the emotion itself. What true repentance is, is feeling the pain of the emotion itself. The pain of the emotion that you were experiencing yesterday was that you have harmed other people. That was the feeling you had, you've harmed your sons. That was the feeling you had. But instead of just feeling that feeling, you were blaming God for it, you were blaming me for it and wanting me to take it all away from you, you were even blaming your son, you were blaming your father, but you weren't allowing yourself just to feel that you, not them, you had created harm in others.

Now when you allow yourself to fully feel that you created the harm in others without feeling blame for any single other person, then you will be repentant and that's when God's Love can reach into you and take away the causal emotion. When you're prepared to feel the pain of everything you have caused, that's when God's Love can enter in you and pull out the causal emotion. Until that time you'll be going through this cycle. [02:31:46.03]

Participant: I'm not sure I can believe you though.

I know. But that's something that you'll have to work out between yourself and God.

Participant: And this is the first time I've got to the reality if you like, because it's real for me, that I don't actually believe you.

Yeah, that's right. And this is why you reverted to ...

Participant: It's not that I don't want to.

I know that.

Participant: It's not that I don't want to repent; it's not that I don't want to own it.

It is.

Participant: It isn't.

It is.

Participant: I know I've hurt others ...

No, no, stop for a moment. Your actions yesterday proved that you don't want to own it. Your actions were blaming God, blaming me, blaming your son, blaming your father but not feeling the damage you have done to someone else. Those were your actions yesterday, which is proof in fact that you don't want to feel that particular emotion.

There are other emotions that you have wanted to feel, I'm not saying this is right across the board, I'm saying with this particular emotion, which is the emotion that you feel, it's a Law of Compensation emotion that you have damaged your own children. The truth is that you do not want to see the extent of the damage nor do you want to feel it, inside of you.

9.1. Developing a desire to be repentant

Participant: Okay, so what do I need to do?

Well pray to God about the desire to feel it. Whenever you're angry with God or you're angry with me or you're angry with your son or you're angry with your father, that's when you're demonstrating the desire not to feel it because remember anger is the thing that's suppressing the emotion, that keeps you away from the emotion. One of the statements you said to me yesterday was, "If this is how much pain I'm going to have to feel, I don't want to feel it," and I said, "Yes, Jenn, this is how much pain you're going to have to feel, and you are going to have to feel it if you want to get closer to God." That's the statement I said to you in return. But you didn't hear that very well yesterday.

The key is to allow yourself to fully connect with the grief inside of yourself. There's no blame coming from me here, it's just me saying to you, fully connect to the grief inside of you of what you've created. [02:34:12.16]

Participant: I'm afraid, AJ.

I know.

9.2. Working through judgement towards truth

Participant: The one person who's really close to me that I've let get close to me calls me damaged and he judges me.

But aren't you damaged? Aren't I damaged?

Participant: I don't know.

Well I've mentioned publicly all of my damage, so yes I'm damaged.

Participant: That means to me that I'm damaged, you can't fix it, you can't ever be healed ...

This is your emotion now and this is a good emotion to connect to because it's what you believe, but it's not true. The truth is I am damaged but also the truth is I can heal. That's the point of us doing this, Jenn, because in the end we can all heal.

Participant: I'm so afraid of the judgement.

So let yourself feel that fear and work through that - what it means to you. You can get through this just like anybody else can. But when somebody says to you, "You're damaged," it's true, they're right - you are damaged. And if someone says that to me ...

Participant: But it's a judgement.

Well no it's the truth. It's a judgement if the person looks down on me when they say it. But the truth is I'm damaged, you're damaged and every single person here is damaged. And I'm not judging anyone, including myself. I'm just stating the truth. But if I say, "You're damaged, Jenn, and you're a bad person," and I look down upon you and I have that feeling coming at you, now I'm judging you. Now if you feel judged from me just saying that you're damaged then you're just feeling your own judgement of yourself about you not being perfect. So feel it, because that's all it is, it's not real, it's just your judgement of yourself, so you need to feel that feeling. It's not the truth though. [02:36:20.23]

The truth is that you, just the same as anyone else, can release all of this damage. And all of us here will at some point in our future lives become perfect, even though we're damaged.

9.3. Developing a desire to be repentant (continued)

Participant: It's really scary for me; I feel fear, okay, right now.

Good.

Participant: I felt it when I walked down towards you. How do I go from there to connect to the desire of what you're presenting to me. What do I do next?

Well the first thing you do is release the fear. So when you go back to your seat in a second, have you got a notepad with you or something like that? Get out that and start writing down what you're afraid of now. The truth is that you are afraid that I'm not really who I say I am. The truth is that you feel that if you deal with your emotions it might not work, that in the end you might be dealing with the emotions and doing all these things I'm suggesting to you and in the end that it might not work. And the truth is that you feel that if you deal with these emotions that you'll finish up losing the relationship that you're only just trying to get. The truth is that you have a lot of fears still about these things. Allow yourself to acknowledge them, write them down.

Participant: But specifically about my sons. I need to get to the next step, okay.

So what are you afraid of with your sons?

Participant: Everything.

You're afraid you've done so much damage that they'll never recover.

Participant: Yes.

Yep. Well I can assure you that when you release the damage within yourself, they will begin to recover. That's the truth. So that's what you need to do but at the moment the thing you need to do is just feel the full extent of the damage to your sons.

By the way this applies to all parents - allow yourself to feel the full extent of the damage to your children and pray to God, ask God to forgive you for that damage and you will find that God can then, through love, just grab hold of all that causal emotion inside of you that may take a hundred years for you to deal with any other way and God will be able to just help remove that from you. Allow yourself to do that. So what I'm saying to Jenn applies to all parents here and really all people who've had an interaction with another person that's damaged them. Allow yourself to feel the pain of the damage but take that to God and you'll find in that instance, it will be one of the closest moments you've had with God when you do that. [02:39:18.19]

Participant: My son Geoffrey left and went home in the car with Nicholas, my other boy, and they had an argument. Geoffrey exploded and beat the dashboard and broke his wrist and at the same time as I was up here. Am I to blame for that because I wasn't fully repentant?

There's a direct relationship between their interaction and what is happening with you emotionally. I'm not saying you're to blame - obviously he is an adult man who can fully not bash the dashboard of a car if he chooses to not do it. But what I am saying is there is a direct relationship between the emotions that you refuse to process within yourself and what happens to them. So allow yourself to see that. Their argument was caused by emotions in them that you partially created, when I say partially, there was an absence of a father that created it as well, not just you.

Participant: But that was my decision anyway.

No that's fine - the key is for you to just see the damage you've done and allow yourself to fully experience it. When you do that and direct that to God, that's when repentance occurs and that's also when Divine Love flows into your soul. Do you see what I'm saying?

I'll talk more about this subject when we talk about prayer and other subjects in the future, but I wanted to address this with you because yesterday you were in this state where you were crying and feeling some of that emotion, but there was lots of anger being projected while you were doing it and you didn't realise that. In your pain you didn't realise how much you were projecting at everything else.

Participant: No I didn't.

Thanks, Jenn. (Applause)

9.4. Spirit influence towards the group and through the angry participant

Participant: I just wanted to mention something about what Jenn said about judgement. I haven't been to a lot of these and have never met Jenn, but it goes with what you were saying about with the spirit involvement of last night. I was sitting further up the back and I noticed when Jenn was actually getting up the whole audience was quite drawn to her and the word that came to my mind was "messenger", straight away. As if there were also spirits entering her to come forward and do that. The reason why I think it's related to anger is it feels to me that she sort of doesn't really connect with it at the moment, because one after another it felt like it was alternate anger's spirit's anger coming out and hitting you with it.

Yep. That was exactly what was happening. Because Jenn was denying the anger within herself about those emotions, what was happening was the spirits in those instances were just connecting and giving me a barrage basically. I felt a lot more of it than what she was actually saying, obviously. But that was certainly happening.

Many of you when Jenn gets up to speak go into a state of contraction for different reasons and that's something for you to also look at emotionally. Why do you go into a state of contraction when Jenn speaks? Because you do need to have a good look at what is going on inside of yourself emotionally. Now the reason why I've been involving Jenn in a lot of these discussions is she is so open emotionally to be involved and I know she's triggering many of you while I'm doing it. Secondly she does have quite a lot of spirit influence at times that she is not aware of, and I'm involving the spirits in the interaction in this group through that mechanism as well. Besides the fact that I love her and I think she's going to do wonderfully on the Divine Love path. [02:43:24.00]

So if all of us can bear that in mind, is that in every one of these groups the reason why the emotions ebb and flow is because there is often heavy spirit influence at different times, and there are also often certain reactions within ourselves that are going on. Some of those reactions are positive and some of those reactions can be like upset, negative and angry and frustrated, and, "Why's AJ doing this?" and all those kind of emotions as well. So allow yourself to feel that while this is happening, allow yourself to note down your triggers if you like, the emotions that are presented to you through this process.

Participant: I sort of felt like she was more of a gateway into things being exposed but I know it's very painful for her. I was thinking that you can see it's obviously very painful for her to go through because it's happened through her but at the same time it's just unbelievable to witness.

Yeah those of you who weren't here Friday night, at " 20090424 Spirit Relationships - Mediumship & Healing Session 1", I mentioned to Jenn that one reason why that it's so difficult for her to determine the difference between her own emotion and spirits with her is that she is very, very open to hearing spirits. The reason why I identified an emotion in her, which she is yet to work through, and that is this emotion that she needs to be heard. And many of these spirits who are in lower conditions also have the same emotion; all they want is someone to hear them. All they want is someone to actually listen to their story. So that emotion connects with Jenn's emotion, which is why the spirits find it so easy to connect through her and state their stories. But unfortunately it also interferes to a degree with her processing of some of her own emotions.

9.5. Crying about effects rather than feeling real grief

One reason why I invited her up just now was because I wanted to identify to her and to you as an audience too, the times when she was not actually dealing with the emotion, but was actually projecting anger rather than dealing with the emotion.

There will be many times in your life where you're crying and you'll think you'll be dealing with grief but in reality you'll be dealing with anger because you'll just feel this blame while you're crying. So if you're crying and you're feeling blame towards others while you're doing it, like, "Why can't they help me, why can't she love me more?" you know, that kind of crying, I am not in a causal emotion. What I'm in is an effect emotion of anger that's actually preventing me from going deeper into the causal emotion. And I can cry for years and years and years about effect emotions like that. I personally have done that.

I've personally cried for almost seven years about a relationship, doing exactly that. Crying about the effect, "Why can't she love me?" instead of just feeling the feeling and actually feeling the grief about being unloved. In my case it was this feeling that nobody could ever love me, that I'm unlovable. [02:46:42.20]

So often times we're actually feeling the emotional layer that's above the real core. This is why many people have this feeling that if I emotionally process I'll be doing it the rest of my life. The truth is that if you emotionally process at the effect level you will be doing it the rest of your life.

So if I'm emotionally processing, and while I'm feeling these emotions and crying I'm actually blaming another person, right at that moment that is not a causal emotion, and I can do that for the rest of my life. My suggestion is don't do that, I did that for seven years or so and it's very, very painful. So don't do that, allow yourself to step to the level below that, which is no longer a state of blame and no longer a state of trying to punish somebody and no longer a state of trying to have somebody else fix you. When you're in the emotion itself you won't feel those emotions.

9.6. Taking personal responsibility for every emotion within us

Participant: Does it mean that you have to get to being responsible for... like you say you can blame others and say, "Oh why did that happen to me?" and all that stuff whereas ...

I can feel your question. You want to know whether that means you've got to take responsibility for everything that's happened to you. Is that pretty much the question?

Participant: I feel that.

Yeah, you don't have to take responsibility for every event that's happened to you. The reason why is that many of the events that happened to you happened to you when you were a child and other people have full responsibility for those events. However you do need to take full responsibility for the emotion that you have decided to shut down within yourself as a result of those events happening to you. Can you see the difference of what I'm saying?

9.6.1. An example of sexual abuse

So for example let's say I'm a female and I - when I was three years of age - I was abused sexually by my father. Let's say that occurred to me. (The participant starts crying) Let's say that occurred to me, I don't need to take responsibility for the event because he does. He did the damage, he did the problem, he had the emotional injuries. But what I need to take responsibility for is allowing myself to feel the emotions of what that created in me. So I felt hurt by that, so let yourself feel hurt by that. I felt confused that why wouldn't dad love me and this is hurting me. So let myself feel that and feel that feeling. The instant you let yourself feel that feeling and talk to God about that feeling that's when God reaches in and says, you've got it now; I can help take that away from you now. [02:50:15.28]

Participant: I've had this for so long.

Yeah. And that's the key thing - let God reach in. The way that we let God reach in is by allowing ourselves to feel the underlying emotion. That's what I mean by taking responsibility. I don't mean that you have to take responsibility - there's this common New Age belief that I'm responsible for every event that was perpetrated against me. No you're not, I'm sorry but you're not. You're not responsible when you were three years of age for your father raping you. You're not. But there are emotions that were created inside of you from that event that you've held onto up until now, and you are responsible in the sense that you need to let yourself begin to feel them. When you do and you pray to God about them, that is when God reaches in. See what God wants is the softening of our heart that we'll allow ourselves to feel our emotion. That's all God needs from us. He can do the rest.

9.7. An example of a participant judging Jenn

Participant: I just want to share a little bit more about reflections from Jenn from yesterday. Yesterday evening at dinner I was talking about some of the things that had happened here yesterday, and I got really, really, angry about the dynamic that went on between you and Jenn. Then I read the list of all of the causes of anger this morning, and then you drew all of the circles up there and I saw that Jenn was exposing that centre, and that's what I've been covering all these years with all of those layers of that circle, all the way out. I've just been operating all of them, and I was really mad at her for making me look at that yesterday. So I'm still unravelling that and in fact she's been trying to show me that for nine months, since we've been coming and working with you. I've had layers and layers and layers of resistance because she was exposing my source of pain. So I just want to say I see that now.

That's it. Whenever we have an emotion of judgement towards another person, there's usually something in this interaction that causes us to want to repel the person. I'm not saying that it's the same emotion they're having, but often what happens is that there is often some sympathetic or resonant emotion going on within us that's being triggered by this interaction.

So for some of you if Jenn gets up here and talks to me, you feel like she's stealing the limelight. Well that's the resonant emotion that gets triggered. For some others of you there's this feeling of like, why does she want to take all the time? So that's another resonant emotion that you'll find. You've probably had siblings or someone else like that in your life take time away from you or take a person's love away from you. This is the feeling you've had.

All of these types of emotions get triggered in us and the key is whenever we get into judgement to realise that hang on a sec, this judgement is just covering over lots and lots of stuff within me. It might not be the thing that you're judging that it's covering over but there'll be something related to the thing that you're judging, or the situation you're judging that it's covering over.

Participant: I had a big feeling about all that. Okay so I've been kind of nibbling around the edges on this for the last few times we've been together and it wasn't until you made it out very clearly on the documentation yesterday, and when you drew those circles this morning, and I see how many years I've been building those constructs - I'm seventy now. It was the clear way that you laid it out, it's like the whole thing just started to unravel.

Exactly.

Participant: So I'm really grateful for that because it's been running me for a long time.

And the beauty of the truth is that it immediately begins to unravel our soul problems - that's the beauty of truth. So if you can always remember, if you're struggling to unravel what's going on within yourself, it's because you're struggling with truth. So the key thing is to always get back to truth and that will always have the effect of unravelling you emotionally and getting back to the core emotions.

Participant: It was also the clarity of the diagrams that helped tremendously.

That's good.

9.8. An example of a participant who has started to be repentant towards her daughter

Participant: I just feel to support Jenn with a story that happened to me when I first met you. I really connected to repentance and truth. I was on my front veranda and I owned that I was actually really angry with my daughter for how difficult she'd made my life.

Which by the way she hadn't done.

Participant: And almost instantaneously I connected to what I'd done to create her difficulties and she has since given me some really amazing feedback on that.

Yeah that's great.

Participant: And within two minutes - this whole process was less than five minutes \- my phone rang and it was Amber on the other end of the line and she said, "Mum, I've just had this realisation how difficult I've been and I'm actually ringing up to see how you are." And it can happen that quickly, that happened in the space of five minutes.

So it was once you began to feel the repentance of what you had created that then the emotions freed up in your daughter. This is how it works with our children in that when we fully experience the emotions within ourselves, that's when everything frees up on the other end. So when a person says to me, "What can I do to help my son?" or, "What can I do to help my daughter?" they are already not understanding one basic principle and that is you need to first focus on what you have done, you created your son, you created your daughter, emotionally. You need to take responsibility for that, for the emotions and feel the creation, feel it completely. And then things will change. [02:56:45.23]

Participant: I was just blown away that all that happened within about five minutes. It's just like, wow.

Yeah it can happen so rapidly.

9.9. Taking personal responsibility for every emotion within us (continued)

Participant: I'm a bit confused and overwhelmed with the difference between taking responsibility and the Law of Attraction because conceptually, I've convinced myself that I'm not to blame for what's happened but I feel completely that I am because I believe in the Law of Attraction, and I'm really stuck now.

Do you mean to say you're to blame for what's happened in your own life or in other people's life? Okay. With regard to your own life, and this applies to every single person in the audience, and that is that everything that's happened to you had a beginning in you emotionally. Now because most of the beginnings happened way, way back in your childhood emotions, everything that you've done since then has been based upon childhood emotions, mixed with the personality you have and the decisions you made after those events.

Now obviously when you're little, I'm talking from pre-birth up to seven years of age for example, during that time what's happening is you're mostly reflecting the unhealed emotions in your parents and all the emotional damage you get is their suppression of you doing that. Now after that time in particular, and it's particularly that time because we start getting more and more self-awareness after that time, and so we start making choices or decisions based upon that emotional damage. And we gradually become more and more self-responsible for those choices or decisions.

So a person for example who has been sexually abused at three years of age, they are not responsible for the event of the abuse when they were three years of age, but if they're now thirty years of age abusing another person, they are responsible for the fact that they're now abusing the other person. So if a thirty year old man, for example, who was abused when he was three is now abusing another three year old, he is responsible for the decision that he makes there. It's the unhealed emotions that he had from three years of age and added to the decisions he then made that created his condition when he was thirty.

Now in terms of emotions, he is fully responsible for every single emotion that is inside himself and fully responsible for the feeling of those emotions. So he didn't create them necessarily but he needs to feel them. If he felt them he wouldn't even abuse the person when he was thirty. He would be feeling his own emotions instead and he'd be fully responsible for feeling his own emotions about what's happened in his own life.

So when I say emotional responsibility what I'm saying is we need to understand that the only person that can release an emotion inside of myself is myself. No one else can do it for me. But as soon as I have the desire and willingness to feel the emotion, I'll be feeling it and at that moment God's Love can enter us and assist the entire process. But if I'm closed down emotionally, I can't be assisted. [03:00:23.10]

9.9.1. An example of slaves who were in the hells of the spirit world

Remember in the discussion with the slave spirits yesterday, in "20090425 The Human Soul - Anger Is Your Guide Session 1", this is something that came up. They had been abused and tortured most of their life on Earth, and they were in the hells of the first sphere when they passed into the spirit world. And their feelings were, "Why am I here? This isn't fair, I was the one hurt." That was their feeling.

What they hadn't realised was that all they needed to do to get from that place to a new place was to just feel the grief of the hurt. That's all they needed to do, nothing else. Their refusal to feel the grief or the hurt is what caused them to be locked up in that place. So all God was waiting for them to do was for them to just open their heart to feel what actually happened, they just needed to allow that to occur, and then God could assist the rest of the process. But because of their refusal to do that, they had hardened their heart, they then focused all this anger and rage as a result of hardening their heart on the people who'd harmed them, and that caused their condition to not be able to grow, to remain stagnant.

And it's the same with us. Those slaves were not responsible for the events of the master abusing them. The master is fully responsible for that - he was fully responsible for their abuse. What they were responsible for was to feel their emotion, that's all. If they allowed themselves to feel that emotion, they would not have even attracted the abuse or if they had attracted the abuse they would not be angry about it. They would just be feeling their emotions and when they arrived in the spirit world they would have arrived in a place where they would have imagined themselves to arrive.

This same thing applies to us today. All we need do is just feel and choose to feel our causal emotion, that's all we need do. That's what we're responsible for. This is self-responsibility. That doesn't mean I'm responsible for all the bad things that happened to me during my childhood, what it means is I need to be responsible for the emotion that's in me that I'm locking up about those events. And the instant I free up, that is the instant God can work with me. And the reason why it feels for some of us like God isn't working with us is because we're not allowing that to occur. We're just not allowing that process to occur.

10. Steps involved in opening up the soul

Participant: I have a question about expressing anger or expressing anger or emotions. Yesterday, in "20090425 The Human Soul - Anger Is Your Guide Session 1", when Ian was showing us his anger kit, he was wringing the towel as such and I thought he was wringing someone's neck.

Which is what he felt.

Participant: Yes. But previously you'd said about even if you think of harming someone you're causing yourself emotional damage, or soul damage.

Well actually what I was saying is if you are thinking of harming someone, there is already the damage in your soul that would create a murder. So for example if I'm thinking of harming you, whether I'm harming you or not, there's an emotion in me that's strong enough to create a murder. So my soul condition is judged by how I'm feeling, not by what I've done.

Now the first thing is if I deny I have any emotion at all of anger or rage within me, when I do have anger and rage within me, at that point I am projecting the most to my outside environment. You can experiment with this with your children if you want to. The instant you deny your emotion with any of your children they will express your emotion to its full intensity. The reason why is because when I'm in full denial of an emotion, I'm projecting that emotion to the world at large at its fullest intensity. [03:05:19.08]

The second step is that I come to have an intellectual realisation that I have a certain emotion. At that point I am now projecting the emotion at a lesser intensity than I was when I was in full denial. I'm still projecting the emotion because the emotion is still within me - it's still something that's within me, so I'm still projecting the emotion, but it's at a lesser intensity than it was when I was in full denial.

If I openly verbalise the emotion, I am now even expressing in a lesser intensity than it was before. So there's now a less strong emotion coming from me.

Let's say I have an emotion that I want to kill my father for what he did to me and I'm in total denial of it: that's when I'm projecting that emotion at its full intensity. Let's say I have a fleeting inspiration, "Oh I want to kill my father," an intellectual realisation - at that moment I'm now producing less feelings going out of me, that I want to kill my father. If I actually say, "You know what, I really want to kill my father," I'm now actually producing less of projection out to the universe again.

Then I need to start going through the next level of things, and that is the soul-based realisations. Remember the soul is always feeling-based realisations. Because when I have a realisation that I want to kill my father at a feeling level, I am going to be gutted by it. I'm just going to go, "Whoa, I never knew." You'll have some really strong emotional feelings and sometimes you may even have feelings of shame or guilt associated with these feelings of, "Whoa, how bad is this?" - that kind of feeling you have - that I never saw this in me before and now I'm seeing it. Now I'm actually projecting less again.

Now once I start feeling the rage, once I have a soul feeling of what's in there, so let's say it's anger or rage, I am now projecting it even less again while I'm feeling it. Now I'm not saying dumping it on them, I'm saying feeling it like Ian was demonstrating yesterday. I'm now feeling it even less again. When I say I'm feeling it, if you're doing it, this anger and rage, I'm feeling less from you because there's less coming projected at the universe around you when you're owning more of it.

Now there are many more levels I've got to go through here. If it's rage then I've got to have a feeling about what the rage is about and then I'll have to have a feeling about that underlying causal emotion. And when I get right down to the core of it, now there's nothing coming out of me and nothing that can damage anyone around me. So can you see that each step is like a step of opening?

You can think of your soul like a flower opening. Each step is like you opening and you're owning more of it and so therefore less of it is going out to the universe. And each change you make in this step is going to greatly aid everything going on around you.

So if you want to wring someone's neck and you actually physically do the sensation of wringing their neck, but not actually physically wringing their neck, but, for example, wringing the neck of the towel, while feeling I want to wring their neck, you're actually in this state of feeling the soul feeling - its rage. That is far better than you doing anything above that. (AJ points to the list on the whiteboard). [03:09:47.17]

It's not better than you doing anything below that, because there's more you need to do. You need to get to the point that's deeper and deeper and deeper but how do you get to that point if you don't allow yourself to go through it? This is one of the things that a lot of the New Age teachings and a lot of the moral teachings of the Natural Love Path teach you to detune from - this process of sinking through it. They teach you to try and do it all at an intellectual level, which actually doesn't reduce the emotion coming from the person.

So quite often I meet people who say they've been doing New Age type things, or they've been spiritual people for thirty years, and I'm feeling this intense rage coming from them. There was someone I met recently who does grief therapy and there is this intense anger with his father that is coming from him. I don't know how people around him respond to their grief when he's got this intense rage going towards men. But he is totally unaware of it; totally unaware that the emotion even exists within himself, doesn't want to even acknowledge it. So he's in this place of denial and that's when everyone around him is getting the full burst of it. If he were in the soul feeling place least they'd be getting less of it.

But the problem is there's so much judgement about this place, the soul feeling a rageful emotion - there's so much judgement, there's so much hurt about feeling the emotion, there's so much feeling in people about that it's bad, it's wrong, or it's sinful. Yet it's the way or the gateway or the guide if you like into even deeper parts.

Now what I'm suggesting is we need to get into the deeper parts, you can't just stop at soul feeling. You don't stop in your anger, you need to get below your anger but you're not going to get below your anger while you're denying your anger. Just like you're not going to get to the soul realisation while you're wanting to not talk about it. And you're not going to get to talking about it while you're intellectually denying it. So allow yourself to sink through these places. And allow yourself to become aware, talk freely about those things.

11. Audience questions

11.1. An example of a participant wanting to take on her father's emotions

Participant: Hi, AJ. Just a question, talking about owning things and taking ownership on board of your own feelings, how do you stop yourself from taking on board other people's actions? Like with my father I look at his actions and how he responds to people and I just think, oh my God, if you just did this, this or this, your whole life will be a lot better and I suppose I take on board that, and I think I want to fix it, but I can't fix him. But it causes a lot of rifts between us.

There's an emotional reason in you as to why you want to take on their life. The key is to allow yourself to start to feel the reason for that. Now usually the reasons are two fold in that there are two branches to it. There is usually a thing in them that you're seeing that you don't want to see anymore, which means there's an emotion in you of judgement about what you're seeing from them that you want to stop in them. The second thing is that obviously there's a Law of Attraction involved. So there's an emotion being triggered in yourself that you are wanting to stay away from. So often what we do is we focus our life on helping others in order to avoid emotions within ourselves.

This was a major problem that I had in the past where I spent a lot of time helping others and yet I was locked up with lots and lots of emotions. It's a major problem with why a lot of people enter the medical profession, or any of the helping professions, social working professions, or so forth because often their emotions are locked up in themselves, and they want to assist others to release because it's a way of avoiding the emotion within themselves. [03:14:07.22]

Participant: I sort of don't feel I'm avoiding because I just feel that, I just want to make it good for him because I know what it's like to have those nice relationships and I'd like him to experience that.

Why? He doesn't want to. So why do you want him to?

Participant: Because he's affecting other people as well.

Well there's that but also you're feeling responsible for him. So why is that?

Participant: I don't know.

Yeah, there's a childhood emotion there, why do you feel responsible for him? You've become the parent of your parent. And you know that, this is how you're acting - as a parent towards your own parent. So from childhood your parents made you responsible for their emotion.

Participant: Yeah, you're probably right.

Yep. So you now believe that you are responsible for their emotion. And one of the reasons why you are responsible is because that's the only time you get loved. See this is the thing you get back; the thing you get back is if he does do the changing, part of the change will be he loves you more.

Participant: Yeah, you're probably right there actually.

Yep, so what's happening is by you trying to fix his life, what you're really trying to do is get him to love you more. But he doesn't love you more because right from your childhood he's been making you responsible for his emotion. So you now as an adult take full responsibility for his emotion, and in reality that's an emotion inside of you that you need to heal. The truth is that you're not responsible for his emotions at all. But the reason why you feel you are is because if you don't take responsibility for his emotions, he will not love you in return. That's the truth - he hasn't loved you and he's not capable of loving you until he takes responsibility for his own emotions. [03:16:05.07]

Participant: Which I don't think he ever will.

And that's why you do it. Because if he never does, then you want to get him to do it so that you can feel more love.

Participant: But I suppose I just want him to experience what I've experienced with other relationships.

Well you want him to change for your own benefit actually.

Participant: But I don't depend on him for my own happiness. I don't because I've got a wonderful life.

I'm sorry but I'd have to disagree with you.

Participant: Okay.

There is a factor of your life where you are dependent on him for your happiness because there's a core emotion in there that daddy doesn't love me, daddy can't love me, I need to fix daddy so daddy can love me. And that's a very, very basic childhood emotion and you need to allow yourself to just experiment with that a bit.

Participant: What, experiencing not feeling the love? Is that what you're saying?

Yeah. Stop helping him and see how you feel. See at the moment the addiction that you have is to help him. If you help him you feel good about yourself.

Participant: Or else I'm mad at him. Because I go, "What do you do that for?" Or, "Why can't you say this?"

So stop getting mad at him and stop helping him and then notice how you feel. You'll feel guilt, guaranteed. And then drop down under the guilt and allow yourself to feel the emotions that you feel underneath that.

11.2. Removing addictions exposes underlying emotions

Just a general comment for everyone, if you take away your addiction, you will definitely at some point feel the emotion. Now you know how cigarette smoking is an addiction, if you take away the addiction of cigarette smoking, in other words you stop cigarette smoking, what will happen is you'll feel the reasons why you started it in the first place. Now a lot of people in that situation take up eating lollies or eating chocolate, or eating food, because that satisfies that addiction. This is why sometimes people who give up the addiction of cigarette smoking start getting larger, when they were nice and slim all their life, because they're just swapping one addiction for the other.

If you actually get rid of the addiction and feel your emotion, and I'm now not just talking about physical addictions like cigarette smoking but actual emotional addictions, things that you're emotionally addicted to - if you give that up and just allow yourself to feel your emotion, you'll rapidly get into some causal emotion. It'll be a very, very good way to access casual emotion.

11.2.1. Getting sick when giving up an addiction

Participant: AJ, is that why some people give up smoking and then they say, look I never had a cold for twenty years, and now I'm sick all the time?

Yep. Colds and flus affect the chest area obviously and usually the chest area is a deep cause of a broken love feeling inside of a person. One reason why people who smoke get lung cancer is a heavy suppression of chest-based, or if you think about it, heart chakra based emotions, which are all based around the giving of love and the receiving of love.

So yes, the person who gives up smoking will often get colds after that because the emotion of being unloved is starting to get triggered in them, but they're still trying to deny it. Before they could deny it with the smoke, now they can't deny it so now there's a physical symptom and that will continue to occur until they start allowing the grief to occur. And so there is a lot of tie up between physical addictions and emotional addictions and then the underlying emotion that they're trying to wrap in cotton wool and avoid.

11.3. An example of a participant connecting to others' emotions more easily than her own

Participant: I started feeling like I was experiencing emotions at the end of last year after Cornelius's talk.

Yes. You really connected to some emotions then, didn't you?

Participant: Yep and I felt I was doing quite well with it over about five or six weeks but then thought I was just piggy backing off other people's problems or emotions and that I should be feeling mine. And I started accessing not nearly as well but doing some.

Can I just address that firstly? When we feel emotions that other people are feeling but can't feel our own, there's some really core belief systems that are going on within us and core fears. Many of you will find that when somebody comes up here and starts expressing their emotion, you can connect with your emotion, but when you go home you don't seem to be able to connect to it anymore. Do you notice that? If you're noticing that, and that's a common issue that a lot of people have, if you're noticing that occurring, then it's because there's a feeling you have towards yourself that you don't have towards that other person who you're connecting with. [03:21:51.28]

So for example, when Cornelius started describing some of the emotions that he was having, about anger and this terrible shame that he was feeling about himself and his actions in the first century, many of you really connected with that, didn't you? So many of you had this grief come up and many of you in the audience at the time or watching the DVDs of "20081011 and 20081012 General Discussion - Interview With Cornelius" may have felt that grief. What's happening there is you view Cornelius as more important than yourself. That emotion is actually inside of you but you're not letting you feel it and you can only feel it if somebody else is feeling it, which means that you do not value yourself enough to feel it.

So that's the first issue that your facing. One of the major primary emotions that you face is that I'm not allowed to feel my own emotion unless someone else is in agreement with my emotion. And can see you how that relates to your childhood as well?

Participant: Or just not allowed to feel my emotions.

Not allowed to feel your emotion, which is definitely a childhood relation. There is a childhood relation between how your mum and dad view their own emotion and that's what caused you to suppress your own emotion.

Participant: They taught me everything I know.

They taught you everything you know. Exactly. So do you understand? So the reason why you were feeling your emotions for six weeks or so is because you were doing as you were saying, piggy backing your emotions on top of others. So them experiencing an emotion meant that you could experience your emotion because they gave you validation to experience your emotion.

Participant: Yes and they were the centre of attention, not me.

Exactly. So now what you're trying to do is swap it over so that you can be the centre of attention of dealing with your emotion. And because of that other emotion, which is the emotion of I'm not worth anything, you're not allowing yourself to feel the emotion. So that's the blockage. So the key is now to talk to God about how much you feel you are personally worth and how much you feel whether your emotions are worth anything, and start investigating why you value other people's emotions more than your own. Let yourself start investigating that emotionally.

So pray about that, start allowing yourself to feel why it's so easy for you to connect to something if someone else's connecting while you've got that validation. You'll find there is a list of fears in there, so if you do some kind of a fear list and list the fears you have about your own emotion you'll find that you'll access some things there. Now can you continue with what you wanted to? [03:24:47.23]

11.4. An example of a participant who is emotionally shut down by her mother

Participant: So I seem to be having some small success accessing my emotions.

Good.

Participant: I go to the spiritualist church and at the next Sunday after that started, the clairvoyant Tom came to me and said that the church was filled with spirits and they were all excited about the work I was doing and that basically good things would happen and the church would get bigger and all that sort of stuff. And then before the next Sunday I'd actually broken my leg, and that meant I couldn't cope at home and I went and stayed with my mother for a couple of months. I wasn't able to get into it very much there, at all. Although I tried, I watched the DVD's a lot. And when I got back home I thought I'd just be able to go back to where I left off when I was at home but I just seemed to be really ...

Shut down.

Participant: Yeah.

It was an interesting Law of Attraction for you. The breaking of the leg meant you had to stay with your mother, and it's your mother that shut down your emotions. So while you were with your mother did you find yourself closing down truth with her? Did you find yourself not being able to express the truth to her?

Participant: Well that's what I normally do, just shut down and just let her go. But this time I sort of would either stop her or interrupt her and say what I thought was happening.

Good. And how did you find that? It was pretty pointless wasn't it?

Participant: Well it was actually very volatile.

Exactly.

Participant: Yeah, but she's probably even more locked down then me.

Exactly.

Participant: I don't know but she tends to get angry and stay very calm sounding.

So she's very angry, calm anger, like many parents do this like real calm anger. I'm calm but really I'd like to kill you: that kind of anger.

Participant: Yeah or oppose her opinion of it upon me.

Exactly.

Participant: In a very calm way and then I'll react by getting angry and yelling. So she actually started getting a little more loud when I kept insisting on interrupting what she was saying.

Awesome.

Participant: I thought so actually.

Yeah, very awesome. But what actually happened inside of you was this - you came away feeling that it was pointless addressing any issue with your mother, that's the feeling that you had. And because your mother didn't validate your feelings, you now also feel that it's pointless addressing your own emotion. So that's the feeling that you have that you came away from your mother with, this feeling that mum's never going to agree that these things I'm saying are true. So if mum's never going to agree with it, what's the point. Are they even true?

Participant: I think yes she probably wouldn't, but I wanted her to be able to.

Yes, definitely. And what's the feeling when you tried addressing these issues with her, she just gets angry, the whole thing looks pointless, how did you then feel?

Participant: Well her whole life's been like that but she's not going to listen to me telling her what I think she should do.

So your feeling is, I'm not being listened to by my mother, my mother doesn't care about what I'm feeling or going through. Can you see there are quite a lot of emotions that are there but that you've come away feeling pointless about accessing yourself?

Participant: Yes, I guess, and it's partly because I feel that she's so locked down she's not going to be able to.

But can you see what you're saying in this - you're actually saying that you're not able to feel your feelings because she's so locked down. That's really what you're saying. This is a childhood belief actually that you have.

Participant: And I guess it's also that, yeah, she's more important, that I've got to try and help her have the realisations that I've had before that I can continue on.

That's right. So what's happening with your suppression of your emotion at the moment is you've got this layer of if mum doesn't want to do it or if mum doesn't agree with it, then there's no point in me doing it unless I've got her doing it too sort of thing. But also this feeling of... I'm just trying... sometimes I have trouble actually stating the feeling in words - Mary's better at this than I am. But I'm feeling a feeling from you with regard to your mum that I'm having difficultly actually describing it. It's this feeling that, it's a very childlike feeling that unless she agrees and approves, that it's not valid. [03:30:19.18]

Participant: I suppose she sort of interfered in my life, all my life.

Yeah, I can imagine so.

Participant: And usually I do things and could do them because I didn't tell my parents and therefore they didn't spend the next six months ...

Trying to tell you not to do it.

Participant: Basically. Or finding out I'd done it and telling me I should have done it in one of five hundred different ways.

But not the way you did it.

Participant: That's right. Exactly. But I suppose having the head to head with her there when I was there; it sort of made me feel like I had more of a backbone.

Yes, and this is why it was very good for you. It was very good for you in one sense because you stood up for yourself with your mother, for really, the first time in your life. However, the part that wasn't so good was you came away with the feeling of this childhood feeling that you're not letting yourself get into, and that is this childhood feeling that unless your mum approves of me doing it, then it's not valid. It's not real, it doesn't really make any sense unless she approves.

Participant: That's underlying the feeling that I actually did quite well - I sort of feel more like I'm my person now but obviously there's other feelings underneath it.

Yeah, what you're avoiding emotionally is this deep grief that for the majority of your life you've actually unknowingly done exactly what your parents wanted you to do, even though you've tried to do exactly the opposite. There has been this underlying emotion there driving that, most of the decisions, looking for their approval and never having it. And so there's this deep grief that mum's never going to approve of me that you came away from, after spending two months with her, but not allowing yourself to feel. So allow yourself to just drop into that feeling.

Now at the moment it was good that you stood up to her because that means you were starting to have some self-worth, but what needs to happen now is allow yourself to feel the grief that mum is never going to approve of you. The way I'm saying it is not quite right. There's this feeling that you have that as far as your mum is concerned, you're unlovable in her eyes. There is something intrinsically wrong with you that mum would never be able to love. [03:32:59.03]

Participant: I suppose that's just I'm not good enough.

Well that's what drives the emotion of being not good enough.

Participant: There was a hat put on each of us as children and I was the one who needed help all the time. My brother was great, you know, my sister is very ...

You were made to feel like that no matter what you did, it was not going to be enough.

Participant: Because even if I did manage to do what they wanted or said what they wanted, they would still judge it negatively.

Yeah, or that it wasn't done the right way. And while you're saying all these things, I can feel you disconnecting from the emotion of it. So what's actually happening right now is that while you're saying the words, you're at this stage of intellectual realisation of what it's about, but still not letting yourself actually dive into the pool of the emotion of it. And that's the thing to pray about. Ask God about helping you through this fear of getting out of the knowing what it's about and into the feeling what it's about. [03:34:09.07]

Participant: Right. Thanks, that's been helpful.

No worries.

11.5. An example of a participant with diabetes

Participant: There's another part to it. I think part of the having broken my leg, because I've been an insulin dependent diabetic for thirty-five years and ...

When did you first get diabetes?

Participant: I was twenty when I was diagnosed. And at the moment it's just all over the place, I've been having hypos and people have had to call an ambulance and stuff like that. And it's I suppose just before I broke my leg, I was glad it happened in the beginning because it meant the condition seemed to be improving but now it's more or less pretty much unmanageable more than anything else. And I'm assuming it's partly to do with everything else that's been going on.

There are probably two primary things to look at with your diabetes. The first one is that you have an emotion within you that began when you were around twenty years of age and it caused the shutting down of the pancreas, in terms of what's happening inside of your body. It's a fear-based emotion. If you look at some of the events surrounding when you were twenty, it may help you actually identify the emotion that you're afraid of.

Unfortunately what happened at that time because of that fear, a spirit, who was also in a similar state to you, became attached to you. So my suggestion is maybe to go to a person who can do spirit removal work or pray to God for the removal of this spirit. It's going to have to be a longing in your soul to remove it and then to deal with the underlying emotion inside of you that created the attachment. Allow yourself to feel what that's about. And then talk to this spirit who is actually attached to you and is using your body in the same way that you're using it, in order to pump you full of adrenalin, in order to stay away from the emotion of fear and terror that you have. So let yourself connect to that emotion and then also talk to the spirit who is with you and hopefully the spirit will disconnect, and if not it is easy enough to remove that spirit at some point.

When the diabetes becomes unmanageable it's because the two of you are both interacting with the pancreas, into that area of the body, the third chakra area of your body, and that's what's causing that part of your body to become unmanageable for one soul. So it's good for you to work through the emotion but also to remove the attachment. I've met quite a few ladies who've had spirit attachments with regard to diseases – like diabetes - and usually they're resulting from some fear-based or terror-based event that occurred that they didn't release the emotion of fully. [03:37:08.02]

Participant: Alright. Or disaster sort of ...

Or disaster based. You can relate to that ...

Participant: Yep. Thank you.

Good-o. (Applause)

Participant: It's about the lady, when you were saying she wanted to get permission, approval from her mother, wouldn't permission be more...

Permission and approval, but there's quite a different number of different emotions in there about mum, yeah. (Applause) Thanks.

11.6. Reasons for difficulty with accessing causal grief

Participant: My question came up when Jenn was up before, because when she was feeling through getting to where she was, I saw her block, I saw where she was stuck, and it reminded me of where I was yesterday and where I've been most of the time, most of the time stuck on this thing. And it's sort of the question of, now it's all washed past my mind now, all this stuff, like that whole discussion then, I feel like I hyperventilated my state of being, into this alternative state where I got all these tingles through my whole body, that's been lasting for the last half hour. And I've just had this feeling that there's a bunch of spirits around me that are hanging around waiting for me to ask this question. I feel there are a lot of spirits there as well, the question is, why is it so hard to volunteer in that moment when there's the block, when you're totally stuck and I feel like, okay I felt grief before and everyone here has grief. Everyone wants to get to their grief, but that desire to get to the grief, and then in the moment, like, if we take that to God and go okay God, help me with this, come on I want to get to the grief now because I'm sick of talking about it. Why is it so ... I can't articulate it, my minds washed.

Why is it so hard to actually feel the grief when you feel you want to feel it?

Participant: I feel I want to because I felt grief before, I know what it feels like. The actual feeling of the grief doesn't feel bad, it feels great. I feel like I actually enjoy feeling grief. And I know I've got grief, why is there this big issue of getting to the grief right now?

That's a good question. With every single emotion, while grief is the healing emotion on the majority of occasions, the type of grief will be linked to events, which are linked to different belief systems. The problem is usually that it's not so much the grief that we're afraid of experiencing, but this particular type of grief or what it's actually connected with. So to give you an example, you may have no trouble at all crying about how someone else has been hurt. But you may have terrible trouble crying about how you've been hurt. In both cases you might cry the same amount even, so you're not scared about crying, it's what you're crying about that you're afraid of accessing.

So the majority of times what's happening inside of us is that we are dealing with different groups of emotions, some of which we are more afraid of than others. And it's the one's that we're more afraid of that we have more locked up grief about generally. And that particular facet feels worse to us at that moment and that's why we can't access the grief, even through we've cried before.

So for example, I've cried many, many times about all sorts of issues, but there's one issue, which is an issue about God that I've currently got that I'm working my way through that I'm still having trouble accessing the grief of, because for me it feels like the grief is so big that I'm going to die from feeling this grief. Now I have felt that way with all the other grief's I've felt too, and I didn't die, but that's not helping me get to the bottom of this one. I need to just allow myself, to keep reminding myself, that I've got this issue with God, it's about grief, pray about it, keep praying about it, and eventually the desire will be greater than the fear. When the desire is greater than the fear, you will instantly experience it.

11.7. Allowing bodily expression of emotion

Participant: Is this hyperventilating experience getting through any block to getting to what I'm trying to get to? Or what's that?

It could be, and that's why you need to trust a lot of what the body is doing. There are a lot of really good therapies available today that connect you to your body and actually allow you to trust what the body is doing. So allow yourself to trust your body. So remember yesterday when you were up here and you started to shake, if you trust that feeling that's in your body, you'll get to the emotion that that shaking was all about. Then you'll get to the grief that was underneath that emotion. [03:42:44.23]

11.8. An example of a participant with a fear of spirits

Participant: I feel like there's a lot of fear because, like I said before to you once, I'm like an extremist, like Mary. Like right now I've taken on the vegan challenge. And my theory is, okay, well that's probably doing something physiologically to make me hyperventilate, that goes along with the whole feeling that this is a cult and that one of the tactics is to get you hyperventilating and all that, to make you feel like you're not in a nice space with spirits around you, and there are fears there.

The truth is when you stop eating meat, there will be more spirits who can connect to you and your spirit connection will be stronger. The problem with that is if I'm holding on to an emotion, then whatever the attraction's going to be, I'm going to feel those spirits with me, and feel them stronger. So yes there will be a resolve to that.

So the key is to understand that with everything that happens to you as you refine yourself and bring yourself more morally into love, what would be love, what's going to happen is there will be changes in your body and there will be changes happening to you with regard to spirit connection, and that will certainly have an impact on you and the way you process emotions. And you have quite a lot of fear related to spirits related to your childhood.

Participant: I watched that movie you suggested last night and it freaked the shit out of me. And I said I'm going to deal with that last, I'll do everything first.

Right, well it's highly unlikely you'll do that. You'll probably deal with that next I'd say, the way you're going.

Participant: Oh shit! (Laughter)

That's probably what this is related to. This deep fear you have about the spirit world, which is what began in you at quite a young age because of some of the things you saw then. So allow yourself to just work your way through that emotionally.

When you feel terror, and this applies to everyone, you will be shaking and you will be feeling terrified. Pray to God, remember every single time pray to God through things. Pray to God through things. Don't neglect that relationship with God and that will help you through everything. So as long as you connect with God and allow yourself to maintain that connection you'll get through absolutely everything.

Participant: So if I want to deal with whatever my Law of Attraction is right now, with this whole situation, what's your suggestion? Because I do feel stuck. Would I need to leave the building and go deal with some stuff to get into it, or what?

Well no, what you're feeling at the moment is, you are feeling some fear inside of you and that's what triggers this, "Is this a cult? Is this a thing? Are they mind controlling me?" and all that kind of stuff. It's the fear within you that's triggering those thoughts. So just allow yourself now even bodily, and you can feel yourself starting to shake and everything, allow yourself to experience the fear. So I've had to do that many times myself, to get through that phase.

Participant: And if the fear is there because there's a casual emotion and you say that we can ...

But this is actually childhood fear and you will need to experience it.

Participant: Okay. So that's in a way in itself a causal thing?

Yeah you can tell by how you're shaking and how you're twitching and your body is moving around, usually that's an indication that's a childhood emotion that's been suppressed. So allow yourself to experience that childhood emotion without resistance. That's the key here. It's not an adult thing where you're trying to be afraid of something in order to deny something else. This is a childhood feeling of fear or terror that you will experience.

Participant: Okay. Thanks for that.

12. Closing words

Thank you very much today. I hope today has been a little bit more informative about how you can use your anger to dig down. And also what's underneath; starting to see what's underneath those feelings and emotions you have. I'd like to thank very much everyone's personal comments and participation today - it's been really good. I'd also like to thank you very much for your donations over the last three days too, because they've been very helpful to Mary and me as well.

So thank you very much for that. Thank you for your time. (Applause)
