 
Air Kiss

A Running on Air Novella

By L.H. Cosway

Copyright © 2019 L.H. Cosway.

All rights reserved.

Smashwords Edition.

This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

www.lhcoswayauthor.com

Contents

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Off the Air Preview

Prologue

One

Meet the Author

Books by L.H. Cosway

"They were stars on this stage. Each playing to an audience of two."

  * F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned

#  One

Leanne

"I've never seen you this nervous," Paul commented as he ran his attentive gaze over me. "Are you sure you're feeling okay?"

The bloke was my best friend, but man, sometimes I hated how perceptive he was. I thought I was doing a good job of covering my nerves. Obviously, I wasn't.

"I'm fine," I told him and kept walking. We were on our way to an informal interview for an up-and-coming reality TV series, showcasing a group of freerunners from London. And yes, being that parkour was my life, I wanted to be a part of that group so badly it practically seeped from my pores. Maybe that's why I was so on edge. I couldn't remember a time when I wanted something more than this.

Paul was friends with some of the guys involved, and when they contacted him in their search for people to come on board, he was kind enough to put my name forward, too. That was Paul for you. Always thinking of others. He was the nicest person I knew, if not a little quirky. Anyway, it was too bad we didn't have romantic chemistry, because he would've made the perfect boyfriend.

Paul chuckled, the sound deep and attractive. His blue eyes made a distinct contrast with his bright auburn hair. "You look like you're about to shit a brick."

I tugged on the hem of my T-shirt. "Can you blame me? I'm about to meet Trevor Cross, Callum Davidson, and James Khan. They're like, the holy triumvirate, the frickin' parkour Gods of London. I know they're your buddies, but to me, they're these illusive mythological creatures only few have had the fortune to know."

"Okay, you're building this up way too much in your head. They're just normal blokes. When you meet them, you'll see."

I wasn't so sure about that. In my world, those three were spoken about but rarely seen. If you were lucky, they might show up when you were at the park one day. I'd watched them from afar several times but never had the nerve to introduce myself. They were like those obscure indie bands with cult followings, who only played secret gigs that spread through word of mouth. Or graffiti artists known solely by their name and work.

They had this aura of untouchability.

I shrugged as I glanced up at Paul. "Yeah, maybe."

He grinned and teased as he poked me in the arm. "If anyone else knew there was such a soft centre underneath that tough exterior, you'd lose all your street cred."

I poked him back with a lighthearted threat. "It's a good thing you're too much of a loyal friend to ever tell."

He winked. "I'm pretty fantastic, aren't I?"

I chuckled at his playfulness and focused back on where we were headed. We were meeting said "holy triumvirate" at a café on the South Bank. Paul wanted to take a taxi from the Tube station to avoid being late, but I insisted on walking. I needed the extra time and fresh air to get my shit together. Unfortunately, by the time we arrived, my shit still hadn't found itself. Fortunately, I put up a good front. Paul was the only one who knew me well enough to see through it.

I spotted them before they saw us, sitting at a table chatting casually. They were just like Paul described them, three regular blokes. Trev Cross was fair-skinned, dark-haired and light-eyed, while James Khan was dark-skinned and dark-eyed, his hair shaved short. Then there was Callum Davidson. He had honey-brown hair, piercing green eyes, and ink covering every inch of his arms and neck. I was sure it extended to the rest of him as well, but since he was clothed, I couldn't see.

More's the pity.

I was a sucker for tattoos.

His arms were attractively muscular and he had the cheekbones and jawline of a catwalk model. I watched as he pulled a pair of black Ray-Bans from his pocket and slid them on, shielding his eyes from the sun. He might as well have been in slow motion, with "Sexy Boy" by AIR for background music, what with all the fluttery fangirl feelings I was having

"Hey!" Paul greeted as we approached, drawing the attention of the three.

All eyes came to us and those aforementioned nerves caught in my throat. I felt like I was meeting the Queen. My hands grew clammy and my stomach flittered with butterflies.

The pale, blue-eyed one stood first and pulled Paul into an enthusiastic man hug. "Paul! Good to see you," he said before turning to me. "And you must be Leanne. I've heard great things. I'm Trev."

With the attention of all of them on me, I felt a wave of self-consciousness. I wore a pair of black jeans, a white T-shirt, and my favourite Asics trainers. It was what I wore most days, because I was a low maintenance sort of gal. I didn't really wear makeup and kept my hair cut short. In fact, I was pretty sure the last time I wore a dress was my tenth birthday party. Because of this, people often mistook me for a lesbian, which was a ridiculous stereotype because I had lesbian friends who were more glam than half the straight girls I knew.

I shook hands with him as the next guy approached and offered his hand, too. "I'm James. Paul's been telling us all about you. I'm excited that we might get to work together," he greeted me warmly and my nerves started to subside. They were nice guys; open, friendly, welcoming. All my worries had been for nothing.

Just as soon as I had the thought, it was quashed by the fact that Callum Davidson sat there surveying me from behind the dark lenses of his sunnies. His mouth formed a hostile slant.

"Hello, we've not met before. I'm Leanne," I said, hoping to break the ice.

His gaze dipped to my hand, then up to my face as he replied in an unimpressed voice. "Yeah, I know."

Well, I guess all three of them being happy to meet me was just wishful thinking. Perhaps I should be thankful that Trev and James seemed nice. I could deal with Callum's less than friendly attitude. Since my day job was working at a Starbucks in Canary Wharf, I was no novice at handling egos. Those financial types were dead fussy about their coffee.

I withdrew my hand and shoved it in the back pocket of my jeans, unwilling to let his hostility phase me. "My reputation precedes me then," I joked but it didn't make a dent in Callum's antipathy.

"Please, take a seat," James said, clearing his throat as though to squelch the awkward vibes. He gestured to the two empty places at the table. A waiter sidled over and took our drink orders, then left as swiftly as he'd arrived.

"So, I guess we should get down to business," Trev said. "The three of us have been signed for a new reality show with Channel 4, but they want another two freerunners to come on board. Paul was a top choice for all of us, and since he suggested you above anyone else, we feel like we can trust his judgement. This meeting is just a little get to know you so we can decide if we all gel together as a group."

Callum quietly scoffed and I bristled. What was his problem? Trev either didn't hear it or decided to ignore him, because he continued talking. "The big question is, are you both interested? It's important that you thoroughly think this through. You'll be filmed twenty-four seven, and they'll have free reign to include details from your personal lives, so if you've got any skeletons in your closets, they're likely to come out. This isn't just about parkour, they want to show everything we do in our day."

"I'm okay with that. No skeletons here," Paul said.

"Yeah," I added breezily. "Me neither. Well, not unless you count that one weekend I spent with Charlie Sheen," I went on and everyone laughed except for Callum. Perhaps dark humour wasn't his thing. I wondered if maybe he was just having a bad day and endeavoured to break the tension by way of a compliment. I slid forward in my seat and gestured to his arms. "Wow, your tattoos are amazing. Are they all done by the same artist?"

He arched a derisive brow, like I was being nosy instead of polite. "You writing a book?"

I sucked in a breath as my stomach twisted with unease. Okay, I was reverting back to my original impression. He was just a dick.

"Christ, Cal, don't be an arsehole." James shot me an apologetic look.

Callum cast his attention to James. "What? It's none of her business." He paused and glanced back at me, assessing. "Wait, you are a girl, right? It's kind of hard to tell."

Jeez, cut me to the quick with a rusty blade, why don't you. It wasn't that the insult was particularly offensive, because I'd heard the same shit a hundred times before. It just hurt coming from him. As a freerunner in this city, I'd looked up to Callum Davidson, not to mention crushed on him like mental.

Paul glared at him angrily in my defence. "Who pissed in your cornflakes?"

"Watch it, Sheridan. I might like you, but that doesn't mean you're in yet," Callum threw back.

"If this is how you talk to people, then I'm not sure I want to be in," Paul replied.

"Listen, can everyone just calm their tits," Trev intervened as he levelled his gaze on Callum. "And Cal, try to tone down your inner dick, just for the next half an hour, yeah?"

"Can you blame me for being pissed? The show was supposed to be just the three of us. Now we're bending over backwards and letting them change the format. I'm sorry, but that's bullshit."

Ah, now I got it. Callum didn't like the idea of more people coming on board, more mouths to feed, so to speak. Not to mention more people to cut in on his potential airtime. Huh. I couldn't tell if he was egotistical or insecure. Possibly both.

"Are you worried we'll take the shine off your apple? Or is this a money thing?" I asked bluntly, never one to beat around the bush.

Callum barked a hostile laugh. "Honey, do you seriously think I care about you outshining me? I mean, look at me," he said and gestured to himself.

Okay, that was possibly the most unattractive thing I'd ever heard from an undeniably attractive man. "Wow, arrogant," I muttered under my breath.

I knew Callum heard when he pulled off his sunglasses to level me with a challenging look. Damn, his eyes were far too beautiful for someone so conceited. "I'm not arrogant, I'm confident. I know for a fact that I can outshine anyone who tries to come at me."

I'd always been a defiant person. Some would even say stubborn. Put me under depraved methods of torture and I'll be the very last person to break, which probably explained the next words out of my mouth. "I could outshine you without even trying, honey," I said, throwing his own sarcastic endearment back at him.

Now he looked at me, considering, his gaze astute. I got the sense what I just said interested him.

He made a sweeping hand gesture as he replied, "Go for it, then. Outshine me."

I scoffed. "I'm pretty sure you have to shine first, and so far, all you've done is sulk."

Trev barked a laugh. "Ha! She's not wrong. You've been a right moody bugger all morning."

Callum narrowed his gaze. "You're not my target audience, Trev. I'm shining for that blonde over there." He indicated an attractive woman sitting a few tables away. "She can't take her eyes off me."

He was right. She was staring at him with marked interest.

It was incredibly irritating, and my urge to take him down a peg or two increased tenfold. Standing from my seat, I walked toward the banks of the Thames and with several strides jumped atop the wall that ran along it.

I did a quick handstand then completed three flawless backflips, the final one landing me back on the path. Several passersby clapped at my performance and I grinned in triumph. On my return to the table, I made a show of dusting my hands as I levelled my new nemesis with a cocky look, "Top that, sunshine."

Parkour was the living, beating heart inside my chest. I wouldn't allow Callum Davidson to taint it for a single second, even if he was one of the sexiest men I'd ever met. Come hell or high water, I was going to be a part of this show.

# Two

Callum

Bloody hell, she was sexy.

And I wasn't talking about the leggy blonde eye-fucking me several tables away. I was referring to the petite tomboy with the peachy arse and gorgeous blue eyes. I'd resigned myself to being pissed about the TV people wanting to bring on more freerunners, and since Leanne was one of those interlopers, I wasn't going to give her an easy time.

I knew Trev and James thought I was just being selfish, and in a way, they were right. I was selfish, and that was because I knew where the opposite got you: nowhere. If I was going to create a better life for me and Mum, then I had to be ruthless. I didn't want her living in that shitbox apartment block any longer than necessary. We'd both spent way too many years there already.

So yeah, I needed every penny I could get out of this TV deal, and bringing on another two people was going to cut into it.

Just think about the Polyphonic Spree. There were way too many motherfuckers in that band for them to have gotten a decent cut. And remember So Solid Crew? I bet none of those bastards were living the high life right now.

"Top that, sunshine," Leanne said as she sauntered back over, lowered herself into a seat and crossed one leg over the other. Too fucking cute. She was sexy and adorable and somehow tough in one completely tempting package. I'd never give her the satisfaction of knowing it though.

I was a stubborn prick like that.

Judging from the firm set of her jaw, I was willing to bet she was stubborn, too.

Maybe that was what I liked about her.

Or maybe it was just that peachy arse.

I folded my arms and flashed her a wicked grin, satisfied when the tiniest flush marked her cheeks. My grin always worked, even on women who didn't fancy me. It was my greatest weapon.

"I will," I replied casually. "When I'm ready."

"Ha! That's a cop-out," she taunted, but I didn't rise to it. I would show her up when the time was right, and she'd admit I was the better freerunner willingly.

"Maybe we should get back to the matter at hand," said James.

"Yeah. I'm already sold on the fact that you two are going to suck viewers in with your rivalry," Trev chuckled.

Leanne raised both eyebrows but didn't say anything. I wondered what she thought of all this. And I thought about what Trev said. Maybe he was right. Maybe this odd rivalry between us would make for good TV. I wasn't sure why, because I didn't even know her, but there was some natural instinct in me that wanted to rub her up the wrong way.

Then again, it probably just went back to the money.

"So, you both work at Starbucks in Canary Wharf?" James said. "You'll likely have to give those jobs up if you get signed."

Both Paul and Leanne shot each other looks as if to say, oh no, please don't make us leave our beloved coffee slinging behind. I resisted the urge to smirk, because I knew all too well how shitty it was working in the service industry. I was still an assistant manager at Urban Outfitters. Don't laugh. As soon as this TV thing was set in stone, those pricks could kiss my arse goodbye.

"Yeah, that's not going to be a problem," Leanne said with a healthy dose of sarcasm, and I hated how much it made me warm up to her. Appearance-wise, she was the exact opposite of the usual girls I went out with, so the fact I was attracted to her was surprising. And inconvenient.

I was grumpy about them bringing more people in, but I kind of wanted to see where this whole thing went. Not to mention I'd always liked Paul, even if he was a little too nice for his own good. Usually, when people were that nice, it meant they were up to something.

I realised I'd been staring at Leanne for too long when she arched an eyebrow and shot me a questioning look. I frowned, slid my sunglasses back in place and stared at a random spot in the distance.

She had nice skin.

I wouldn't mind touching it.

"There'll also be some travel involved," James continued. "We'll be in Manchester and Newcastle for the filming of several episodes."

He kept talking and the conversation progressed. I didn't really take part, still mulling over the idea that maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have Paul and Leanne around. At least when I got bored, I could amuse myself by checking out Leanne's arse.

"So, how about we all meet for a run on Saturday?" Trev suggested as we got up to leave. "That way we can get a proper feel for how we work together."

"Sounds good to me," Paul said.

"Me, too," Leanne added and I was oddly looking forward to seeing her run. If those backflips she did earlier were anything to go by, she was no novice. I noticed her cast me one last contemplative glance before we parted ways.

"Well, that was interesting," Trev commented wryly as we headed to where he'd parked his car. "I'm impressed by your ability to pull a strop in front of strangers. Toddlers everywhere should look up to you in awe."

"Piss off," I grunted.

"Seriously though," James said. "What was with you? You were a total arsehole to Leanne and she was only trying to be friendly."

"It's not your job to give me a lecture, James, so leave it out."

"He just wants to know why you showed us up like that," Trev said. "Leanne's a badass. My buddy Dan said he saw her running in Hyde Park one day and she blew everyone out of the water. We're lucky to have her. Plus, we need a bird on the show so it's not a total cockfest."

Great, now they were tag teaming me. "Fine, I'll be nicer next time," I allowed. He was kind of right about the cockfest thing.

"See that you are," James said just as we reached Trev's car.

Several days went by and when Saturday came, I had a spring in my step. I hated to admit it, but I was looking forward to seeing Leanne. With her tough exterior, pretty face, and stubborn personality, she intrigued me. I kind of liked the fact that she took my shit and gave it right back to me.

"You off out today?" Mum asked when I emerged from the bathroom, dressed and showered. She sat by the table in the kitchen, nursing a cup of tea and a smoke, which was her usual Saturday morning habit. Weekdays she left early for her shifts at the nursing home. I was determined to see the day when she didn't have to clean out bedpans just to make ends meet.

"Yep. Heading to Crystal Palace for a run with the lads. You need me to bring anything back on my way home?"

She checked her cigarette box. "Could you grab me a pack of ciggies?"

"Sure. See you later," I said and gave her a quick kiss on the temple before I headed out. I wasn't the biggest fan of her smoking, but she'd tried quitting several times and always went back on them. I tried encouraging her to give it another shot, but she told me sometimes you just had to leave people with their vices.

I ran down the stairs two at a time, grunting irritably when I saw someone left their works lying on the lobby floor. I mean, come on, kids lived here. Remembering I had a spare plastic bag in my rucksack, I pulled it out, picked up the drug paraphernalia without touching any of it and threw it in the rubbish bin outside.

See, I wasn't lying when I said this place was a shitbox.

We'd all agreed to meet at the Italian Terrace in Crystal Palace Park, one of my favourite places to practice. It had a bunch of stairs and inclines to jump between, not to mention there weren't usually many people around, so you could run without being gawked at.

I got there a little early, but I wasn't the only one. Leanne sat on a step staring down at her phone, oblivious to my presence. She was wearing black trousers and a dark polo shirt, which I realised was her Starbucks uniform. She must've come straight from a shift. I had a moment of indecision, as I decided whether to approach her or wait for the others to arrive.

Knowing it'd be weird to just stand there and not say hello, I walked towards her and called out, "Nice uniform."

Her finger paused on the screen of her phone and she glanced up, doll-shaped lips flattening in a straight line when she saw it was me. Obviously, she wasn't my biggest fan and I didn't blame her. I hadn't made the best first impression. It also irritated me that I was attracted to her, because the feeling clearly wasn't mutual.

"Thanks. Some of us have to work for a living, pretty boy," she shot back and I resented the assumption.

"I work," I replied and her mouth formed a smirk.

"Let me guess, you're an underwear model. It must be real tiring getting snapped in designer jocks all day long."

"Assistant manager at Urban Outfitters, actually," I fired back, annoyed by how defensive I sounded. Leanne barked a laugh.

"No offense, but I'm not sure that's better. You sell overpriced Ramones T-shirts to twenty-somethings with more money than sense."

"Coming from the girl who slings overpriced coffee to douchebags in suits."

She laughed again and I grudgingly appreciated the sound. "Okay, you got me there. We're both complicit in everything that's wrong with the world. Have a seat," she said and patted the step beside her.

I sat and pulled my phone out to check the time. Ten minutes before Trev and James got here. Guess it wouldn't be so bad to have a conversation. I did need to atone for the shitty first impression I made.

"Listen, I'm sorry for being a dick the other day. You didn't deserve that."

She gave a casual shrug. "No worries. It'll take a lot more than a bad attitude to put me off. This TV show is the gig most of us have been waiting for. You could call me a lesbo bitch every day of the week and I still wouldn't walk away. I don't scare easily."

Hold up, she was gay? Not to sound conceited but it'd certainly explain why she wasn't giving me any interested vibes. I arched a brow. "You like girls?"

She shook her head. "Nah, it's just an assumption a lot of people make because of how I dress." She paused and chuckled. "Wow, you look disappointed. Were you hoping to see me snog my hot girlfriend or something?"

That wasn't disappointment she saw. It was relief. Still, I didn't correct her as I shot her a flirtatious grin. "Something like that."

"Well, too bad."

I was about to reply when Paul approached us, his smile wary. "Are my eyes deceiving me? Are you two actually having a civilised conversation?"

"I'm trying to make up for the other day," I answered and glanced at Leanne. "How am I doing?"

Our eyes connected and her cheeks got a hint of colour. Wait a second, was she blushing?

She looked away as she replied, "So far so good."

"Well, that's a relief," Paul said. "I was worried I might have to break up some fisticuffs if you both went at it again."

His wording made my mind wander. I wouldn't mind going at it with Leanne. Not at all.

"Hey man, I don't hit girls."

"Yeah, besides, I'd beat his arse from here to Sunday," Leanne added cheekily. Cute.

"Now, why doesn't that sound like a bad thing?" I replied with a lopsided grin.

Again, with the cheeks. She was blushing. Maybe my attraction wasn't so unreciprocated after all...

"Oh, please don't tell me you're one of those blokes who likes women to wear PVC and punish them with whips and chains," said Paul, feigning horror.

I glanced at him, then focused on Leanne as I answered, "Nah, but I don't mind a bit of roughhousing every now and again." I grinned happily when I saw how my words made her breathing shallow. She seemed relieved when Trev and James showed up.

"Hey, you lot, ready to get moving?" Trev called as they approached.

"Ready as we'll ever be," Paul answered.

"Good to hear. We thought you and Leanne could do some freestyle stuff for us to start and then we'll join in," James said. "We want to see how you move together, then how we all move as a unit."

"Sounds good to me," said Leanne as she stood and began to stretch. She drew one arm up over her head, and I swear to God she had the cutest little triceps muscles. She was small, but every part of her was in perfect shape.

She stepped over to Paul and they exchanged a few words, then Leanne led the way as she ran up a set of steps before leaping onto a pillar. Paul followed behind her as she jumped from one pillar to the next, her execution perfectly controlled. I pulled out my phone to catch some video, thinking it'd make for a good YouTube upload later.

Then they reached the other side of the terrace, where there were two large Sphinx statues adorning either side of the steps. Paul climbed atop one and Leanne the other. I caught it all on camera as they shared a nod, then in perfect synchrony completed a backflip down onto the grass.

"That was fantastic!" Trev enthused as he hurried over to meet them.

I stood in place, frowning down at my camera as I tapped the button to end the recording. He was right. It was fantastic. They both were, but Leanne especially. She had something unique, a natural flair that you couldn't achieve through practice.

I was both jealous and a little turned on.

And that was why her being a part of the show was going to be a serious problem for me.

#  Three

Leanne

Paul and I trained with Trev, James, and Callum almost every day for the next month. Aside from the odd flirtatious or intentionally antagonistic comment, Callum mostly kept his distance. And that was a good thing, especially since I didn't know how to feel about his flirting.

It was difficult to tell whether he was being serious or taking the piss.

Since his comment about whether or not I was a girl still niggled at me, I was inclined to believe the latter.

Paul and I completed several auditions with the TV show creators and were subsequently approved to join the cast. We signed countless contracts and endured numerous meetings. It was a nerve-racking time, but it would all be worth it in the end. In just two weeks we were going to officially start filming and I couldn't wait. I was so ready to show the world what I could do—what we could do. Because I couldn't deny there was a special sort of chemistry when all five of us ran together. Not to sound corny, but it really did feel meant to be, even if I didn't know what to make of Callum sometimes.

I mean, most days I was driven to distraction by his body and pretty face, but then he'd open his mouth and irritate/embarrass the living hell out of me.

Tonight was James' twenty-seventh birthday and we were heading over to his flat for a small get together. He lived with his girlfriend, Diana, so I was interested to meet her for the first time. Paul picked me up at my flat at seven-thirty and we caught the Tube over to James' neighbourhood. Since it was a special occasion, I'd dressed up in my best pair of skinny jeans, heeled boots, and a tight black halter top. I also spruced up my hair with some product. It was as fancy as I ever got, but I was in a mood to look my best.

"What did you get him?" I asked Paul as we stepped onto the lift that went up to James' flat. He was carrying a gift bag and I was curious to know what was in there. I, personally, had gone with the old reliable bottle of reasonably priced wine and a birthday card.

"A clock," Paul answered and I shot him a look.

"You bought him a clock?"

He shrugged a shoulder. "He seems like a clock sort of person."

"What exactly is a clock sort of person?"

"I dunno. Someone like James."

"That makes no sense."

He cast a glance at my wine bottle. "At least I put in a little creative effort."

"Hey! I've known him a month. We haven't exactly entered into the engraved cuff links stage of our friendship yet, and I wager it'll be a few years before we reach the clock stage," I went on teasingly.

"Oh, go on, slag me off if you want. You'll be eating your words when you see how much he loves it."

I chuckled and lifted a hand to knock on the door. It was answered by a pretty, dark-haired woman in a stylish blue dress. I guessed this was Diana, the girlfriend.

"Hello, you must be Paul and Leanne. Come on in," she greeted, ushering us inside. "I'm Diana, James' other half. I'm sure he's told you all about me."

Paul and I exchanged a quick look, as was our habit when someone said something curious. It wasn't what she said exactly, but more how she said it. She sounded full of herself, like James couldn't possibly help bragging to everyone about how amazing she was.

"Oh yeah, he never shuts up about you," Paul answered, a blatant lie that seemed to please her.

"He's such a doll," she preened as we stepped inside the living area where Trev, Callum, and James sat chatting and drinking beers.

"Jayjay just wanted a nice quiet little party here at the flat, so I resisted the urge to invite all our friends on Facebook," Diana chuckled and I resisted the urge to mouth a questioning "Jayjay?" at Paul. Some people loved their nicknames.

"Can I take your coats?" she asked and I shrugged out of my jacket.

"Hey, thanks for coming," James said when he saw us. "I see you've met my better half."

"Yes, she's gorgeous," I answered, because it wasn't a lie, though better half was debatable. "Happy birthday," I went on, handing him the wine and card.

Paul greeted him next and gave him his clock, but James only set it aside to open later. I thought Paul looked a little disappointed that he wasn't going to tear it open right away. I loved how odd he was sometimes.

Diana returned with a tray of drinks for everyone and I took a glass of wine when I sensed someone's attention. Callum sat on the couch nursing a beer, eyes on me. He wore a dark shirt that fit perfectly over his muscular form. He looked sexy and gorgeous, as always, which was a big source of irritation for me.

Why couldn't he just be hideous?

If all went to plan, I was going to be on TV with these guys for at least the next year. Feeling horny about any one of them was a recipe for trouble.

Diana perched on James' lap, Paul took a seat next to Trev, which left me with just one option, the space beside Callum. I decided I was a big girl and could handle sitting next to him for a little while. I didn't greet him when I sat, but I could feel his eyes wandering over every inch of me. Clearly, he wasn't used to seeing me dressed up.

Diana started telling a story about how she surprised James with a trip to Ibiza on his birthday last year, going into detail about the beaches and the party boats, and how wonderful she was as a person for organising the whole thing. I was veering towards the conclusion that Diana had far too much of the wrong sort of confidence, and wondered what James saw in her. He was so kind and modest, so understated. I imagined him being with a demure librarian, or a sexy, intelligent scientist lady. I didn't know what Diana did for a living, but I was willing to bet it wasn't any of those.

I got a surprise when Callum bent in and murmured, "You think she installed mirrors on their bedroom ceiling so she can look at her own reflection when they fuck?"

I almost spat out the mouthful of wine I just sipped but managed to hold it down. My body shook with restrained laughter as I replied, "I have no idea, but I'm willing to take a bet on it."

Callum rubbed his jaw. "How will we find out though? One of us will need to sneak in their bedroom to see."

"I nominate you."

"Ah, but I could just lie to win the bet," he whispered, leaning close. His breath hit my skin, soliciting goosebumps. "No, we need to figure out a way for both of us to go in there."

"We could just wait until they're too drunk to notice."

He grinned, a boyish glint in his eyes. "I like your strategy. So, you don't think it's true?"

"I just can't see James agreeing to that, even if Diana really wanted it."

"You underestimate her ability to nag him into submission. Believe me, I've witnessed it firsthand."

"Hmmm, I still can't see it. He's too classy."

Callum chuckled. "Okay then. You're betting no, I'm betting yes, but what does the winner get?"

"A chocolate cake made from scratch by the loser," I suggested with a grin.

"Too boring. The stakes need to be higher."

"Chocolate is always high stakes," I argued.

Callum nudged me with his shoulder. "How about the winner gets to do the loser's laundry for a month?"

"Seriously, that's high stakes for you? You're really not living up to your bad boy appearance."

He raised a single eyebrow. "I hate doing laundry. And what do you mean about my appearance?"

I waved a hand in his general vicinity. "I thought maybe you'd want the loser to get their nipples pierced, or have something embarrassing tattooed on their backside."

His mouth curved into a calculating smile. "Well, now that you mention it, I'm not opposed to the idea."

"That's because you've spent like, a million hours under a needle. I'm not so keen on marking this virgin skin," I said in protest.

He looked surprised. "You've never gotten a tattoo?"

I shook my head.

His gaze turned speculative. "Scared of needles?"

"I just never got around to it."

"So, you have something in mind then?"

I shrugged. "I've always liked the idea of getting the solar system on the inside of my arm, but, like I said, I haven't gotten around to it."

Callum leaned closer, interest marking his features. "Why the solar system?"

I heaved a sigh, not too keen on exposing my inner nerd girl, but I answered him anyway. "My favourite subject at school was science, but I particularly loved astronomy. Then I discovered Carl Sagan's Cosmos and I became obsessed. I even had my parents buy me a telescope for my fifteenth birthday. Stargazing is a huge hobby of mine."

"So that's what you do when you're not jumping between rooftops?" Callum questioned, a fond note in his voice I hadn't heard before. It made me feel weird and fluttery.

"Pretty much. I think it's a travesty more people don't take an interest in the universe. They're all too busy looking at their smartphones."

"You look at your smartphone," he teased.

"Not as often as some people," I countered.

His eyes crinkled at the edges affectionately and again my insides went haywire. What was with him tonight? He was being so...friendly.

"Yeah, I guess you're right about that. But back to our bet. If I win, you have to get your tattoo of the solar system—"

"And if I win, you have to get "Leanne is the queen of everything" tattooed somewhere you actually have space left."

He barked a laugh at that, which solicited the attention of the others.

"What are you two snickering about?" Paul asked.

"Astronomy," I answered with a straight face.

"Ha! That's a lie. They were talking about anal sex. It's obvious," Trev teased.

"You clearly don't know Leanne. She's obsessed with the planets," Paul said. "I swear she gets aroused when she finds Jupiter on her telescope."

"Interesting," I heard Callum mutter under his breath just before Trev exclaimed, "Really? You have a telescope? Can I see it?"

I laughed at his enthusiasm, but I was beginning to learn that was just his personality. Trevor Cross was the most excitable person I knew.

"Sure, come over some night and I'll show you," I said.

Trev waggled his brows. "Some night, eh?"

"Well, you can't exactly see the stars during the day."

He made a show of looking sad, but I knew he was only playing. "Damn, I thought there was a side of sexy with the invitation."

I shook my head. "Sorry to disappoint."

"Well, you're both single, right?" Diana interjected. "There's no harm exploring the idea."

"Trev isn't single, Didi," James said. Oh no, now he was at it, too. Jayjay and Didi. Man, I hated cutesy nicknames. "He just started dating a girl he's been friends with for years."

"Oh, juicy!" Diana squealed, turning her attention to Trev. "Tell us everything."

He frowned, which wasn't something he did often, but it was only for a second. Then he plastered on a cheeky grin and replied. "A gentleman never kisses and tells."

Diana pouted. "Boo! You're no fun."

"Bet's on, by the way," Callum leaned in to whisper. I gaped at him in disbelief. No way was he going to get 'Leanne is the queen of everything' tattooed on him. He was bullshitting. He had to be.

"I don't believe you," I whispered back.

He stared at me intently. "Wait and see."

With that he stood and went into the kitchen, probably to get another beer. I stewed for several moments then hopped up and went after him. I found him by the fridge perusing his options. He was bent over slightly, affording me a nice view of his backside. I grew flushed and started rubbing my neck to chase it away.

"You need something, Leanne?" Callum asked, not turning around. How had he known it was me?

Suddenly, I couldn't think of a single thing to say, so I just stood there, silent.

Callum exhaled and turned around, opening a bottle of Budweiser and shoving it into my hand. "Here, have one of these."

"Uh, thanks," I said and busied myself taking a long gulp. At the back of my mind I knew I shouldn't mix my drinks, but I was too flustered to refuse.

He popped another one open for himself and nodded behind me through the doorway, his expression sultry. "Bedroom's that way."

My eyes bugged and I spat out half the beer I just drank. Callum chuckled as I went to grab some paper towels to clean up the mess. "You've got a dirty mind. I meant so we could find out the result of our bet."

"I know that," I grumbled, turning back to him as I wiped the wet from the front of my top. Luckily it was black, so it didn't show a stain.

"Why'd you look ready to bolt then?" he asked, seeming pleased with himself.

I glanced at the floor, embarrassed, before shaking myself out of it. Instead of answering his question, I walked by him out of the kitchen and straight into James and Diana's bedroom. Boisterous chatter sounded from the living room, so I knew the others were occupied enough not to catch me.

Stepping into the room, I discovered a pretty normal set up. King-size bed, linen sheets, dressing table, and mirror by the window, built-in wardrobe by the opposite wall. Then I looked up and swore profusely. How the hell had he known?

Laughter sounded from the doorway, where Callum stood leaning against the doorjamb, arms folded, smug expression in place. "Guess I'm the winner."

I narrowed my gaze at him. "You knew!"

He smirked and tipped the beer bottle to his mouth. "Maybe."

"That's cheating."

"No, it isn't. We never made any rules about whether I'd actually been in here before."

I huffed an irritable breath and looked up again. "I can't believe they have a mirror on their ceiling. That's just so kinky. James is a dark horse."

"It's always the quiet ones," Callum said.

I arched an eyebrow. "If that's the case, then you must be as vanilla as they come."

He feigned an offended look. "Are you saying I've got a big mouth?"

"I'm saying you talk a lot."

Now he grinned. "It's not a hard and fast rule, you know. I've got a few kinks."

"Oh?" I said, hating how curious his statement made me.

He crooked a finger at me. "Come closer and maybe I'll show you, little one."

Hmm, was he drunk or serious? I couldn't tell. If he was tipsy, he didn't look it, though that was the advantage of being a big bloke. You could hold your alcohol well. The inviting look in his eyes had a pull, but I resisted, walking towards him only to slip by and into the hallway.

"You're drunk, so I'll give you a pass for that one. Also, if you remember this in the morning, don't feel embarrassed. I get beer goggles all the time, too."

Callum's expression hardened. "Beer goggles?"

"You know, when alcohol makes you think you're attracted to someone you wouldn't look twice at sober. Like I said, I've been there."

At this he reached out and softly grabbed my elbow, stopping me in place. "I'm not drunk, Leanne."

I looked at his hand, stunned by the sizzle of attraction that ran through me. This was the first time he'd touched me and the results were...interesting. My belly flipped over on itself and my chest tightened. I had a sudden urge to link our fingers together, maybe stroke my open palm along his jaw just to see what it felt like. I wanted to feel the scrape of his five o'clock shadow.

"What?" I croaked, throat dry.

His eyes flickered back and forth between mine when he said, "I'm not wearing beer goggles, so please believe me when I say this, I think you're sexy as fuck. If we didn't have to work on this show together, I'd be propositioning the hell out of you right now."

I stared at him, taken aback. "But you always act like I'm a nuisance."

"That's because you are. You're a very, very pretty, distracting nuisance."

Um, what?

Aaaand back came the butterflies. Callum Davidson fancied me. What alternate dimension was this? Sure, he made a lot of suggestive comments, but I thought that was just how he acted around women. Typical flirt. But maybe that wasn't it. Maybe his flirting was simply that. Maybe he actually...had a crush on me?

This was certainly turning out to be an eye-opening evening.

I was still digesting the information when his phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket and stepped away to answer, a smile in his voice when he said, "Mum, hey, everything all right?"

In an instant his demeanour changed, his shoulders tensing, body going still.

"Slow down. Where are you now?"

A pause.

"Okay, stay in the flat. I'll be there in twenty minutes."

He glanced back at me as he shoved his phone in his pocket. "Something's come up. Can you tell James and the others I had to leave? I'll fill them all in later."

"Sure, but, um, do you need any help? Is your mum okay?" I asked with concern.

He chewed on his lip, conflicted, then grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the flat with him.

What was happening?

When he spoke, his words were frantic, rushed. "Actually, since you mention it, I might need your help. My mum's in a bad state and I think she'll like you. You might be better at talking her down than I am."

"What happened to her?" I asked as we arrived outside and Callum strode towards his Ducati. Oh yeah, did I fail to mention he drove a motorbike? It was kind of hard not to notice him rocking up to all our training sessions on it, an unapologetic mix of James Dean and Jax Teller.

Though I had to wonder where he got the money to afford it.

Before I could question him further, he shoved a helmet on my head. I was momentarily distracted by how it smelled like him when he studied me and asked, "Fit okay?"

I swallowed, my stomach tightening as I nodded. He stared at me a moment, like the sight of me wearing his helmet interested him somehow, then climbed astride the bike. He revved the engine and gestured to the space directly behind him. "Get on."

Swiftly, I did as requested. It wasn't like I hadn't imagined this scenario one or twenty times over the last month. I felt annoyed at my own predictability. Fancying a bloke because he drove a Ducati was just so typical.

"You'll need to hold on," he continued and I awkwardly wrapped my arms around his waist. There was a brief moment when he turned his head, gave me a strange look then focused his attention back on the bike. He revved the engine again and we were off. As soon as he picked up some speed, I held on tighter, not surprised by how much I enjoyed being close to him. My body was a traitor like that.

His smell infiltrated my senses and since his jacket was open, I could feel his warm, hard abdomen just beneath the fabric of his shirt. I had a brief thought of licking my way across those defined muscles and got a little lost in the visual for a moment. By the time we reached our destination, I'd run through way too many fantasy scenarios in my head to be considered healthy.

I climbed off the bike and Callum came and helped me remove the helmet. "You okay?" he asked. This new, caring version of him was hard to get my head around.

"Yep, all good."

Now he frowned. "My mum got into a fight with one of our neighbours. She's pretty upset about it, but I'm shit at comforting people. I always say the wrong thing. Do you think you could sit and talk to her for a while, maybe try to calm her down while I go deal with this fucker?"

I nodded. "Of course. What was the fight about?"

He grabbed my hand and led me inside, moving too fast for me to properly contemplate the hand holding and how nice it felt. His palm was soft, but with a roughness around the fingertips. "He keeps leaving his garbage in the corridor instead of carrying it downstairs to the bins, the lazy arse. It pisses everyone off because it attracts rats. Mum's been at him for months to stop doing it, but he won't listen. When she confronted him tonight, he called her a nosy slag and threatened to give her a slap if she didn't leave him alone," Callum grunted angrily. "Let's see if he's so brave when he's got me to deal with."

"He sounds like a bully."

"Building's full of them. As soon as I have enough money I'm getting us out of this dump for good."

I studied him, remembering our first meeting, and how he'd been pissed about splitting the money for the show five ways instead of three. Now I got why he was pissed and my gut twisted because I empathised. I didn't like empathising with people I thought I'd made my mind up about. I'd relegated Callum to the category of self-centred douchebag, but now I saw he did, in fact, have a heart. It softened me towards him and I wasn't sure if I liked it.

When we reached his flat, he slotted his key in the door and led me inside. The place was tiny as we stepped into the living room/kitchen area. His mum sat at the table and looked to be in her mid-fifties, with shoulder-length brown hair and green eyes. They were the exact same shade as Callum's, except right now they were rimmed in red. There were a bunch of crumpled tissues in front of her as she shakily lifted a lit cigarette to her mouth and took a drag.

"Cal, honey, you didn't need to come back."

"The fuck I didn't. I'm going to kill that rat bastard for talking to you like that."

"Please don't. You'll only make things worse. I still have to pass by his flat every day on my way to work. He could make life difficult."

"He's already making life difficult by being a lazy prick. We need to show him some teeth," Callum shot back and disappeared inside one of the bedrooms. His mum's attention fell on me and I gave a little wave.

"Hey, um, I'm Leanne. I'm a friend of your son's."

She mustered a smile. "Right yes, he's mentioned you. You're going to be on the TV show together."

I was surprised that he talked to his mum about me, though it was probably only in passing. "Come, have a seat," she went on and I approached the table to pull out a chair.

"Cal thinks you're fantastic. Says you run rings around him and the lads," his mum said, again surprising the hell out of me. I had no idea he thought so highly of me and couldn't imagine him complimenting me like that. At least not to my face.

Then I remembered our moment back at James' flat and felt conflicted all over again.

You're a very, very pretty, distracting nuisance.

"I'm Judy, by the way. Sorry, I'm such a mess. I wish we could've met under better circumstances."

I waved her away. "Don't worry about it. I've had a few problems with shitty neighbours in my time, too."

Before she could reply, Callum emerged from his room with a hockey stick.

"Where do you think you're going with that?" Judy questioned anxiously.

Callum's gaze was steely. "To teach Mr. Greenhall a lesson," he answered in a hard voice, then turned and strode from the flat.

Judy let out a noise of distress and I swore under my breath. I patted her on the arm and tried to be reassuring. "Don't worry. I won't let him do anything stupid." Then I ran out of the flat as fast as my feet would carry me.

He was halfway down the corridor by the time I caught up to him. "Hey! Wait up, Callum. Maybe we should leave the hockey stick out of it and talk things through the old-fashioned way."

He cast me a dark look. "I'm not going to attack him, so you can quit worrying. He just needs to see I mean business."

"Oh, right, well eh..." Before I could say anything else, we stopped outside the door to flat 7C and Callum gave it several loud thumps. Seconds later the door swung open, and a greasy looking bloke emerged, talking before he saw who it was.

"I swear to fuck, Judy, if that's you again—" He stopped in his tracks when he clapped eyes on Callum, vicious smile in place as he held the stick over one shoulder.

"You're gonna give my mum a slap, are you?" he questioned, jaw tight.

Mr. Greenhall started waving his hands in the air. "She was being hysterical. I only said that to get her to leave me alone."

Callum took a step closer so that his six-foot frame practically dwarfed that of his neighbour. "You ever talk to her like that again and I'll give you more than a slap, you hear me, you slimy fuck?" he threatened.

"Yes, yes, of course. I'm sorry," the man apologised, backing away inside his flat.

"And if I ever see you leaving your rubbish out here again you'll have more to worry about than a few complaints from the neighbours."

"I won't. I won't do it a-again," the man stammered, shutting his door in our faces, obviously scared witless. When he was gone, Callum exhaled a gruff breath. He let the stick fall to his side and started walking back the way we came. I hurried to keep up with him.

I didn't know whether speaking was a good idea, because he still seemed on edge, so I stayed quiet. When we reached his door, he paused to glance at me. "Sorry you had to see that. I just get so fucking angry when shitheads in this building try to intimidate my mum. I'm gone a lot, so some of them think she lives alone. It pisses me off how they think they can walk all over her."

"That's completely understandable. If I were you, I'd be angry, too."

His lips turned down at the edges, and for the first time, I saw how tired he was. Tired of struggling. Tired of living in this place. "Can you text Paul and explain why we left? I'm going to talk to Mum for a bit."

I nodded. "Sure, no problem."

I stood in the hallway and dialled Paul's number while Callum went into the kitchen. His voice was softer, more careful, as he spoke to his mum and I concentrated back on the ringing phone in my ear.

Yep, tonight really had been an eye-opener.

#  Four

Callum

I watched Leanne sitting next to Mum, talking and sharing a cup of tea like she'd known her all her life, and something about it just felt right. I liked her being here, liked having her close to me in whatever way she allowed. On our way over, with her chest pressed to my back and her arms around my waist, I'd never felt so turned on in my life.

I wanted her. Badly.

The last month had been nothing but a lesson in willpower.

I tried to figure out what it was about her that I found so attractive. I mean, she was hot, had a great little body and a pretty face, but there was something else, too. I just couldn't put my finger on it. Maybe it was the simple fact that I couldn't have her that made me want her even more.

"I should get to bed," Mum said with a yawn. "But it was lovely to meet you, Leanne. Don't be a stranger."

"I won't," Leanne replied and Mum shuffled by me, patting my shoulder as she headed for her room. As soon as we were alone, the atmosphere changed. Leanne wasn't looking at me the same as usual. There was a softness around her eyes, an affection that was the obvious result of getting a glimpse of my home life with Mum. We were all each other had, since my dad did a bunk when I was still a toddler. I promised myself if I ever had a kid of my own, I'd never be like him.

"I like your mum," Leanne said, still sitting by the table while I remained by the door. I worried if I came any nearer I might pick her up and carry into my bedroom. I was this close.

"She likes you, too," I replied, my voice unexpectedly hoarse.

This wasn't good. We started filming in two weeks. If I shagged her tonight, it'd change the entire dynamic of the group and right now we were on fire. When the five of us ran together, it was fluid, perfect, almost too good to be true. I wanted to keep that magic, and I didn't want to create any unnecessary "vibes" by having sex with my soon-to-be co-star.

Up until now, I was almost certain Leanne didn't fancy me back. But the way she was looking at me tonight, I was sure if I so much as crooked a finger, she'd come. Deciding the best course of action was probably to get everything out in the open, I took the seat on the other side of the table and clasped my hands together.

I looked her in the eye. "You mind if we talk?"

She shook her head. "Not at all. What's on your mind?"

"I'm attracted to you," I said and she sucked in a nervous breath before lowering her eyes to the table. I wished she wouldn't do that. I loved her eyes.

"You said that back at James' place," she muttered shyly.

I reached across the table and took her hand in mine. "Leanne, look at me." Her gaze flicked up. "I wasn't lying. If I had my way, we'd both be naked in my bedroom right now." A flush coloured her cheeks as the visual obviously got into her head. Christ, this was harder than I expected.

"Right," she said, embarrassed.

"But I don't want to fuck up the show. What the five of us have is too good. I know you feel it, too."

"Yeah, it's pretty spectacular when we run," she agreed.

"And with that dynamic, the show is going to be amazing. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I want you and I think you kind of want me, too, but we shouldn't act on it."

"No, I agree," Leanne nodded profusely, biting her lip. "This...thing between us, it'll pass."

I let out a shaky breath, and nodded back, hoping to convince myself she was right. "Yeah, of course. So, we're good, right? Let's try not to have any more weirdness between us. I just want to focus on the show."

I watched as she swallowed. "Me, too." A pause as she glanced at me. Those fucking eyes. "So...friends?"

I mustered a smile, even though there was an uncomfortable twist in my gut. "Yeah, friends."

***

_Just as I expected, the five of us were_ _on fire_ _when we started filming. Everyone was convinced the show was going to be a massive hit when it went to air, and I couldn't disagree. I could already visualise the swanky new flat I was going to buy as soon as the money started rolling in. Mum would be living it large in no time. No more arseholes like Mr. Greenhall to bully or push her around._

_Our director, Barry, had set us up with our own private gym in Shoreditch, kitted out with ramps, walls of varying heights, pillars and even a half-pipe. It was a dream to work out in and we were all there most days practicing. Usually, the film crew would hang about to catch footage, but they were off today since it was Sunday._

_I could hear someone going at it on the punching bag when I arrived and thought it was probably Trev. The bloke worked out every single day to the point of obsession. However, when I came around the corner it wasn't Trev I saw, but Leanne._

_Fucking fantastic._

_Ever since our agreement to keep things friendly, life had been interesting. Real interesting. I swear, now that I knew she fancied me back, my attraction to her was even more out of control. The last two months filming had been insanely frustrating. Watching her run, work out, jump, hell, even her sweat was sexy. Somewhere along the way, my attraction became an obsession. She was all I ever thought about._

_I had dreams about her._

_When she was close, I fantasised about reaching out and touching her._

_"Oh, hey," she said when she noticed me standing there. She was breathless, chest heaving from her efforts on the punching bag. She wore a sports bra that cupped her tits to perfection, and a pair of workout shorts that showed every inch of her toned, shapely legs. I stared for a touch too long, transfixed._

_"Hey, uh, are you the only one here?" I asked, swallowing tightly._

_Please say no. Please say no._

_Trev, fitness freak that he was,_ _had_ _to be around somewhere._

_She grabbed a towel to dab the sweat from her neck. I was officially jealous of a towel._

_"Yeah, the others decided to go to the cinema. There's a new Jason Statham film out."_

_"Ah, right," I replied and turned in the direction of the locker room. "Well, I'm just going to get changed. Give a shout if you need me."_

_She nodded. "Sure, will do."_

_Instead of going to the locker room, I made a detour and headed straight for the showers. Once I was under the icy cold spray, I closed my eyes and thought of every unsexy thing I could imagine. Then I thought of all the reasons why having sex with Leanne was a bad idea._

_Stepping out of the shower, I dried off, threw on my workout clothes and headed for the half-pipe. I ran the length of it, back and forth, up and down, without even warming up. Leanne was on the treadmill and I promised myself I wouldn't look at her. Looking at her only made things worse._

_In my pants._

_Man, this was bad. I'd been reduced to cheesy innuendos. Though if I couldn't express my desire physically, then at least I could be dirty in my own head._

_I glanced to the side and saw she'd stopped running to readjust some part of her sports bra._ _Good. God_ _. I caught sight of some side boob and tripped over my own two feet. My fall made a loud bang and Leanne came running over._

_"Cal, are you all right?"_

_I loved how she'd started calling me Cal._

_I sat on my backside, inspecting the ankle I'd just busted, when she climbed onto the half-pipe, her expression concerned._

_"You fell," she breathed, sucking in a harsh breath when she saw the damage. My ankle was red and throbbed like a bastard._

_"Yeah," I said, voice strained. "But I don't think I did any permanent damage."_

_Her pale, delicate hands lifted my trouser leg, folding it up so she could get a proper look. "It's swollen. There are some ice packs in the fridge. Stay here while I go grab one."_

_Before I could tell her it was fine, she was gone. About a minute later she returned, her features drawn in concentration as she pressed the ice to my ankle. She was so naturally gorgeous, it was almost hard to look at her this close. And if she bit that lip of hers one more time, I was seriously going to kiss her._

_Fuck the consequences._

_"How does that feel?" she asked, glancing up at me._

_"Better. You're beautiful," I blurted and her cheeks coloured instantly. Great, now she was making me babble._

_She looked away shyly, focusing back on the ice pack. "The pain must be making you delirious," she said quietly._

_Nah, that's just you._

_"Actually, I'm completely lucid," I countered and reached out to caress her cheek. She went utterly still, her breathing choppy, and I knew by the look she gave me that she was turned on._

_Without thinking, I asked a very, very stupid question, "Do you want to fuck me, Leanne?"_

#  _Five_

_Leanne_

_"Do you want to fuck me, Leanne?" Cal asked and I swear to God I stopped breathing._

_I was kneeling in front of him, but all of a sudden, he grabbed me by the hips and pulled me astride his lap. "This is a bad idea," I croaked as he ran both his hands up my spine to curl around my shoulders. His palms were warm as he started to dig his fingers into my tight muscles. I resisted the urge to moan._

_"Such a bad idea," he agreed, leaning in to nip at my lower lip. "But let's do it anyway."_

_"W-what about the agreement?"_

_"Eff the agreement," he swore, his voice a husky rasp. Quick as a flash he flipped us so I was on my back, legs spread wide as he nestled himself between my thighs. I could feel his pants stiffen, the length of his cock hardening against me, and swallowed down a gulp._

_This was actually happening._

_Ever since filming started, Cal had been testing my willpower with his subtle flirting and little touches. Sometimes he'd help me down off a wall, even though I was perfectly capable of getting down on my own. His hands on my waist would practically burn through the fabric of my clothes. Other times he'd get too hot and sweaty during a workout and pull off his top, revealing toned muscles and miles of inked skin._

_I'd become obsessed with memorising all of his tattoos, from the Virgin Mary on his right arm that looked almost like stained glass, to the anchor that said "Mum" on his inner wrist, to the black demon skull that spanned the entire width of his shoulder blades. Every time I looked I noticed something new._

_I stared into his eyes, imprisoned in their sea-green depths, and wondered how I even managed to last this long. He was too beautiful for words, and though he often enjoyed riling me, he was a good person. Flawed yes, but still good. Cal was loyal to the ones who deserved it, but an all-around prick to those who didn't. I had to give him his props though. At least he was brave enough to call people on their bullshit._

_"I think about you all the time," he went on and my breath caught again. "I dream about you. You're under my skin so much you might as well be one of these bloody tattoos," he laughed, a sexy, intimate sound._

_"It's a good thing you lost that bet, or I actually would be."_

_His smile was affectionate. "You never did get your solar system."_

_"Haven't found the right m-moment," I said and whimpered when he pushed his hips in so that his erection was flush against me._

_His hand cupped the back of my neck, fingers digging into the base of my skull and sending electric shocks all down my spine. My mouth opened on a gasp and his attention went to my lips. He stared at them with all the focus of a neurosurgeon when he bent forward to brush his mouth over mine, featherlight._

_"I'm going to kiss you now."_

_"O-okay."_

_I barely got the word out when he crushed his mouth to mine with a hunger that was startling. His tongue dove in, no preamble, and explored every inch of my mouth, sliding along my tongue all hot and wet. I moaned into the kiss and squirmed beneath him. His deep, rumbling groan set a fire low in my belly and he reached down to slip his hand inside my workout shorts._

_He cupped me right between the legs and I lost the ability to function. I simply lay there, allowing him to kiss and touch me, his fingers skilled and sure. When they dipped past the barrier of my underwear to touch me bare, my eyes rolled back in my skull._

_This was weeks of foreplay coming to fruition._

_Reluctant attraction finally finding an outlet._

_I needed him so bad I ached._

_"More," I begged, gasping as I broke our kiss. His eyes were open, watching my every reaction while he fingered my clit._

_When I came, it was with a loud cry of pleasure that I barely managed to stifle. Something came over me as I fumbled for him, tugging up his shirt and practically yanking down his pants._

_We were all instinct, completely mindless for each other._

_I guess that's why you shouldn't deny yourself sexual pleasure when you want someone as badly as I wanted Cal. Because then you did silly, stupid things in the heat of the moment._

_I gripped his firm, muscular arse as he positioned himself then pushed inside me. His thrusts were hard and fast, and I was too lost in my need for him to even realise he wasn't wearing protection. I saw him experience the exact same moment of realisation when he paused mid-thrust and stared into my eyes; panic, horror, and apology all in a single look._

_I reached up to cup the side of his face and pulled his mouth down to mine. "It's okay, I'm on the pill," I reassured him, half of me knowing I was being reckless and the other half too lost in pleasure to care. Besides, since meeting Cal I'd never seen him with another girl, and we'd gone on nights out during filming. Sure, women flirted with him, but he never went home with anyone._

_Believe me, I noticed._

_And wondered._

_Was he just not the one-night stand type? Or was he too pre-occupied with our weird connection to pay attention to other women?_

_"Are you sure?" he asked, breathless. He looked so handsome and sexy right then, strong arms braced as he held himself above me. I'd never been much of a submissive type, but I certainly didn't mind Cal being the one in charge._

_I pressed a soft kiss to his lips and whispered, "I'm sure."_

_Those two little words were like a red rag to a bull. He pushed into me, building an impressive rhythm as I gasped for breath. I'd never had sex like this before, so passionate and reckless._

_Someone could walk into the gym at any moment._

_Luckily, they didn't._

_Cal came with a rough groan and buried his face in my neck. It was such an affectionate gesture that my heart gave a quick, lung bashing thump that said,_ _Oh Leanne, we're in sooo much trouble here._

_I stroked his hair away from his face as he wrapped his arms around my middle and held onto me tight. His eyes were closed, his breathing deep and content as he just lay there and held me._

_My brain was still scrambled by the sex when I felt him press a kiss to my neck and murmur, "We should go get you that tattoo."_

_I arched a questioning brow. "What? Right now?"_

_He smiled devilishly. "No time like the present."_

_Before I knew it, we'd cleaned up and dressed. Cal dragged me from the gym and outside to his motorbike. He helped me on with the helmet, just like he had that night we went to his flat to check on his mum, forgoing his own safety to ensure mine. It was one of those little gestures that endeared me to him._

_"Just out of curiosity, how the hell can you afford this thing?" I asked, knowing the bike must've cost a pretty penny._

_"Payment plan," he replied, like it was obvious._

_I chuckled. "I thought you might have some story about how you got it on the cheap and fixed it up. I like the idea of you in a greasy T-shirt working on an engine."_

_He turned his head to me and reached out to give my thigh a light slap. "I bet you do, you dirty bird."_

_I chuckled again and wrapped my arms around his middle as he started the engine and sped off. About fifteen minutes later, we arrived at a tattoo parlour that looked like it was about ready to close for the evening. Cal led me inside, where there was a heavily tattooed bloke sweeping the floor. He was tall and muscled, and just looking at him made me nervous. I'd never been particularly scared of needles but being faced with the immediate prospect of some intimidatingly inked up bloke repeatedly sticking one in my arm had me breaking out in a cold sweat._

_"Hey, Cal, how's it going? You're not in for a new piece already, are you?"_

_"Hey, Kev. No, actually. This is my friend, Leanne. She wants to get her first tattoo and I couldn't take her to anyone but the best."_

_Kev grinned at me with a gleam in his eye, like he enjoyed the prospect of untouched skin. "Well, you've certainly brought her to the best. What you got in mind, hon?"_

_I gestured to my inner forearm. "I want to get the solar system here, but I have no idea about colours or style."_

_"Let's have you look at some artwork and see what you like then," Kev said, motioning me over to a stack of folders._

_Almost an hour later, Kev had sketched an original piece for me and I was sitting down to get my very first tattoo. The needle was sharp and uncomfortably stingy at first, like it was dragging and pulling at my skin, but after a few minutes, it became bearable. Kev sat on one side of me, diligently working on my arm, while Cal sat on the other, taking it all in. I swear he was getting an odd sort of enjoyment out of this, though judging from the amount of ink he had, he had to be just a little bit obsessed with tattoos._

_"Stop staring at me. You're making me nervous," I said, voice tight. Just because I'd gotten used to the needle, didn't mean it didn't still hurt._

_Cal shot me a dreamy smile and suddenly I was back at the gym, under him, completely at his sexy mercy. "Can't help it. You're gorgeous."_

_"Shut up," I grumped, trying not to smile as Kev chuckled at our interaction._

_By the time he was done, I was a simmering pot of arousal, mostly from the way Cal watched the entire process, his attention going from the needle and to my body then back to the needle. I stood and walked towards a full-length mirror, admiring Kev's handiwork. The tattoo was beautiful, even better than I could've imagined. He took my vision and surpassed all expectations._

_"It's amazing. Thank you so much," I said, smiling at Kev. He didn't seem half as intimidating now as when I'd first walked into the shop._

_I was busy reading through the care instructions and admiring my tattoo, when I glanced up and saw Kev working on Cal's wrist. I'd been so engrossed in studying my new work of art that I hadn't even heard Cal asking Kev to tattoo him as well. It must've only been a small piece, because he was almost done by the time I came over._

_"What did you get?" I asked, tilting my head to see. It was difficult to tell since Cal's arms already had so much ink._

_Kev sat back, all finished, allowing Cal to hold out his wrist to show me. My mouth fell open when I saw the tiny crown with a swirly "L" inside the design. My mind backtracked to the night of James' birthday and our bet, when I said if he lost he had to get "Leanne is the queen of everything" tattooed on him._

_This wasn't exactly that, but it was still shocking. The L obviously stood for my name. What on earth was he thinking?_

_"Is that...?" I whispered, trailing off as he levelled me with a serious expression._

_"Today was important. I wanted a reminder," Cal said, like it was no big deal._

_"Callum Davidson, there are plenty of ways to remind yourself of special days. You don't need to go and get someone's name tattooed on you. That's just...it's...God, it's insane."_

_"It's not your name, it's your initial. Besides, if you ever stab me in the back I can easily get a cover-up."_

_"That's not the point."_

_He arched a brow, lips twitching. He was clearly enjoying my fluster. "What's the point then, gorgeous?"_

_"Don't call me that, you know it makes me weak."_

_"That's funny, because you make me feel invincible."_

_I folded my arms and huffed a breath, while at the same time my heart did tiny somersaults. "Now you're just being silly."_

_Cal stood from the bench and approached me. Kev was on the other side of the studio, cleaning his instruments. "Leanne, believe me when I say this, because I won't repeat myself. I think you're incredible. These last two months I've seen just how talented and funny and smart and brave you are. I'm literally in fucking awe of you. So, if I want to memorialise that awe with a tiny tattoo of a crown, then that's what I'm going to do." He paused, smirking as he teased, "Now get over yourself."_

_I shook my head, exasperated, irritated, and charmed all at once. "No,_ _you_ _get over yourself," I shot back grumpily._

_Cal chuckled, the sound low and sexy as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. "Don't ever let anyone put you in charge of comebacks, because you fail at them. Big time," he said, all playful._

_I was about to disagree when he shut me up with a kiss, and I let out a soft, dreamy sigh. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I had a premonition our road would be a rocky one, but I pushed that thought aside for now and focused instead on his kiss. His kiss was better than jumping fifteen feet to land in a perfect roll. It was better than a triple backflip performed in front of a captivated, adoring audience._

_His kiss was better than running on air._

_Read on for the first 2 chapters of Callum and Leanne's full-length novel,_ _Off the Air_ _._

# Off the Air Sneak Peek

Prologue

Callum

Three years ago

Leanne blew me away. Her movements were lithe, fluid, fucking graceful.

We were in the London docklands, filming on top of hundreds of sea cargo containers. Giant coloured blocks went on as far as the eye could see. You could jump from one to the next like you were running through a game of Tetris.

We were all in our element.

I chased after Leanne, with Trev, James, and Paul just behind me. Some of the film crew were situated on cranes so that they could capture us from up high. It was a pure adrenaline rush. Leanne twisted around to wink at me before she precision-jumped ten feet through the air, then made a perfect landing on the next block of containers.

I swear she was the most perfect, wild, free thing I'd ever seen.

Trev caught up to me, his smile wide. Like me, these were the moments he lived for, the rush. None of us felt more alive than when we were doing parkour.

"She's in the zone today, isn't she?" Trev said, breathless.

I flashed him a grin and kept going. When Leanne ran, there was a pull deep inside that urged me to follow. Up ahead, she'd almost reached the end of the block and was readying herself for another precision jump. She leapt fluidly through the air, but then, something went wrong.

"Leanne!" I roared, fire blazing through me.

Time moved in slow motion. Every part of me rejected what I saw. Leanne had miscalculated the distance of the jump. Her body slammed into the container with a soul-crushing, metallic clang, her hands gripping the edge as she struggled to hold on.

I'd never been so terrified as my body sprang into action, propelling me forward with the need to get to her.

Within seconds I'd made the jump, and I pulled her up to safety, my arms cradling her body. "Jesus Christ." I stared into her wide, blue, terrified eyes.

She was pale as a ghost, like she couldn't believe what just happened. Shock rippled through both of us in a tangible wave.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" I asked, frantic, as the others reached us.

"Callum," someone said, but all my attention was on Leanne.

She opened her mouth, but no words came out. The sight of her slamming into the container kept playing on repeat in my head.

"Callum," someone said again. I realised it was Paul, but I couldn't pull my focus away from her. I needed to know she was okay. I needed to hear her say the words.

Leanne's eyes trailed down to her lap and I followed their descent. Something dark and wet stained her jeans. There was a moment of disconnect before I comprehended.

She was bleeding.

Panicked, I picked her up and moved by pure instinct. I had no idea how I got us down to the ground. All I knew was we were suddenly surrounded by crew members. Leanne was unnaturally quiet, and it killed me to know she was in pain. I couldn't think straight, my head too wild. Why was she bleeding? Had she been cut when she slammed into the container? Had she broken something?

The ambulance arrived, and a paramedic asked very gently if I could let go of Leanne. In the end, Trev and James pulled me away from her. They put her on a stretcher, and I followed them into the ambulance. Everything they said was medical talk, and it made no sense.

"What's wrong with her?" I asked, tugging on strands of my hair in agitation.

"We don't know yet," the paramedic replied, her expression sympathetic and kind.

Just fucking help her, I wanted to yell. Until this moment, I hadn't known just how much I felt for Leanne. I knew I lusted for her and that she was constantly on my mind. But the idea of losing her never occurred to me, and it was the scariest feeling. I refused to accept it could happen. She meant more to me than just sex. We'd been sleeping together in secret for a few months, but she was in my head and my heart now.

At the hospital, they wouldn't let me go any further than the waiting area. It was only when I sat on the uncomfortable plastic chair that I realised I was covered in her blood. The sight of it made me feel raw and chaotic inside, like I could thrash the world.

When everyone else arrived at the hospital, they wanted to know if Leanne was okay, but I had no answers for them. A sharp, heavy weight pulled on me. It took me a second to discern it was fear.

Everything I was made of rebelled against the idea of her not being okay.

About an hour passed. Trev took me into the bathroom to clean up, handing me a fresh T-shirt.

"Where did you get this?"

"Gift shop."

"Right. Thanks."

"Cal?"

"Yeah?" My voice was flat as I pulled some paper towels from the dispenser.

"There's something between you two, isn't there?"

I exhaled heavily, my entire body slumped, and I nodded. Trev swore.

"Right now, I just need to know if she's okay. You can shout at me for being stupid all you want later."

"That's not what I—"

I left the bathroom before he had a chance to finish talking. A doctor approached Paul and James, her face grave.

"Are you Miss Simmons' family?" she asked.

"We're her friends," Paul replied. "Her parents are on their way."

"I'm her boyfriend," I announced, and everyone's expressions seemed to ask the same question, You are?

"Oh," the doctor replied. "Are you Callum?"

I nodded, wondering how she knew my name. "Leanne asked me to talk to you. Come with me," she said and I followed her to a small office. She closed the door and levelled me with a kind expression.

"Callum, am I correct in assuming you were unaware that Leanne was pregnant?"

Just like that, my world stopped turning. My pulse pounded in my ears like I was under water. It took me a second to properly digest what she had said.

When I didn't reply right away, her tone softened. "Leanne has suffered a miscarriage, but she's in a stable condition right now. She's also broken two of her ribs..."

The thoughts in my head were so loud they tuned out the rest of what she said. When she finished talking, I turned and left the room. In a daze, I walked to the end of the corridor, then slid down onto the floor. I was going to be sick. Hands on my stomach, I willed myself to keep my lunch down.

"What the....what the hell?" I said out loud, confused and hurt. My voice didn't sound like mine.

I clenched my fist and punched the floor as I cursed at the top of my lungs, "Fuuuuck!"

A door opened, and a nurse stuck her head out to shoot me a concerned look. I stood and found an exit, pushing my way outside. My throat was heavy, my chest on fire, like something was trying to claw its way out. A man stood by the exit, wearing hospital scrubs and smoking a cigarette.

I rubbed a hand down my face. "Can I get one of those?"

"Sure," he replied, handing me a smoke and a lighter. I lit up, gave him back the lighter, and took a long drag. I never smoked. My mum did and I was always on her to quit. But how I was feeling right now, in the absence of alcohol or hard drugs, some nicotine would have to do.

How the hell could Leanne be pregnant? How could we not know?

Wait...did she know?

The thought of her hiding something like this from me made me feel unhinged. I refused to accept it. She wouldn't do that. She couldn't...

I was the bad guy here, not Leanne. I hated myself for doing this to her and I hated how the entire situation felt so out of my control. She'd been pregnant with our child, and now she was lying in a hospital bed and our baby was gone. Our baby I didn't even know existed. My eyes filled with tears as I choked down a furious drag of the cigarette. It tasted like ashes on my tongue. I stabbed it out and stomped back inside the hospital.

I needed to see her, to hold her, tell her how fucking sorry I was.

I used to think life was hard, but I'd never known pain like this.

Earlier today we'd been running like we hadn't a care in the world. Then just like that, it all came crashing down.

I found Leanne's room, but through the narrow pane of glass, I saw that her parents and sister were already inside. I couldn't go in there, couldn't face them when I knew this was all my fault. What do you say to the family of the girl you got pregnant? We were both way too young to become parents. Being a dad wasn't something I'd even considered yet. So why did it feel like someone had just torn out one of the most vital parts of me? Like a clawed hand had ripped my heart right out of my chest? Like I'd just lost a person I'd loved my entire life? A tiny little possibility of a person that I'd now never get the chance to know.

I skulked at the end of the corridor until I saw them leave. Her parents walked ahead, but her sister spotted me. I swallowed down my guilt to face her. Leanne's older sister, Lorna, was her complete opposite, long blonde hair, girly clothes, lots of makeup. Unlike Leanne, she was open and friendly, always smiling. Leanne was wary, difficult, suspicious of strangers, sarcastic, perfect.

I knew she'd told her sister about us when I saw her face. "Callum," Lorna said, her eyes full of sympathy that made the fire in me burn hotter.

"How is she?" I asked, scratching the back of my neck in agitation. My voice still didn't sound like mine.

Her sister inhaled a deep breath. "She's...still a little out of it. You should go in and see her."

"I'm going to, I just...wanted to wait until you and your folks were gone. I'm the last person you want to see."

Her blue eyes, the only part of her that was like Leanne, turned sad. "This was an accident, Callum. It's nobody's fault."

Tell that to the guilt eating me up inside.

When I didn't say anything, she came forward and threw her arms around me. I barely knew her, but something about her warmth eased some of the fire. She stepped back, her expression earnest as she gave my shoulder a soft squeeze. "I can tell that you care about my sister. Go see her. Talk to her. She needs you right now. You need each other."

With that, she went, and I stood glued to the spot. Forcing my feet to move, I went to Leanne's room and hesitated outside the door.

Just fucking go inside. I dropped my forehead onto the hard panel surface, drew a deep breath, then pushed it open. Leanne lay in the narrow bed, wearing a hospital gown, her short hair pushed back from her face. I expected to find her awake since her parents had just been here, but she'd nodded off.

She looked so small.

I hated that she was suffering, wished with every fibre of my being that I could swap places with her.

Then my mind went to a much more painful place. If we hadn't been filming today, if she hadn't taken that jump, our baby would still be alive.

No, don't think it.

It was futile to wallow in what-ifs, and yet, I was drowning in them, my heart and soul wishing to be transported to an alternate reality. Anything would be better than this.

Leanne's eyes flickered open. "Cal?"

In a flash, I was by her side. I sat on the chair next to her bed and took her hand in mine. "I'm here."

Just like that, she started to cry. I couldn't take it. Rising from the chair, I climbed into the bed beside her and, careful not to move her too abruptly or damage any of the bandaging around her ribs, pulled her into my arms. She turned her face into my chest and wept. I cried too. For a long time, we stayed like that, drowning in our shared misery.

When I spoke, my voice was choked, broken. "How can it hurt this much to lose something you didn't even know you had?"

Her reply was hollow. "It just does."

I had to force myself to ask the next question. "How long were you—"

"Three months," she replied stiffly.

Jesus. My voice went so quiet it was almost a whisper. "Do they know if it was a boy or a girl?"

Leanne stiffened again. I knew my questions were making her hurt more, but I had to know.

"They can't tell this early."

We were both quiet for a long moment. I ran my hands up and down her arms and she sank into me. "I think she was a girl."

"Cal," Leanne begged. "Please don't. I can't..."

"Hush," I murmured. "I know."

"If I'd known I never would've taken that jump," she said, trembling, tears streaming down her face. "I never would've—"

"If this is anyone's fault, it's mine," I interrupted, full of self-hatred. "I should've been wearing condoms."

"But I was on the pill," she swallowed thickly. "I think I missed a day. And we've been so busy with the filming schedule I didn't even notice I haven't had my period. This is all my f—"

"No," I refuted. "I'm older. I shouldn't have been so careless, so selfish."

She squeezed my hand. "Cal." The quiver in her voice when she said my name shut me up. She didn't need to hear my self-recriminations right now. There was nothing either of us could do to change this and talking only made it hurt more. So, I shut my mouth and held her. I must've drifted off because some time later I felt a tap on my shoulder. I blinked my eyes open. It was a nurse.

"Visiting hours are over, pet. You have to go," she said quietly.

It hurt to tear myself away from Leanne, but I knew she needed rest, and this bed was barely big enough for one person, never mind two. I climbed out, then fixed the covers over her. I stroked her hair away from her face and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

It killed me to leave. I walked to the door and the nurse's expression was sympathetic. A lot of people insisted they didn't want sympathy, but I did. Her look said I'm sorry for what happened to you, but it will get better. I needed looks like those because everything inside of me screamed that the opposite was true. Our lives were changed now, and no matter how much we might want it, this was never going to get better.

I barely slept for days. I was at the hospital every morning to see Leanne, willing her recovery to be as quick and pain free as possible.

Then, on the fourth day, with dark circles under my eyes, I headed to the hospital first thing. When I reached Leanne's room, it was empty. The nurse who'd gotten used to my presence approached, her voice gentle.

"Her parents took her home about an hour ago, love."

"Oh. Right. Thanks," I said, panic rising in me. I didn't know why, but I just needed to see her. I'd gotten into a routine and it felt like bad luck to break it. I drove to Leanne's flat, but she wasn't there. Her parents must've brought her back to their house, so I called Paul to get their address.

The urge to hold her and not let go took over. I wanted to make her better, no matter what it took. I wanted to bring her back to her smart-mouthed, feisty tomboy self. If I could just do that, then maybe everything else would be okay again.

I hesitated when I saw my reflection in the window by their front door. I looked like shit. Felt even worse. I couldn't let her mum and dad see me like this, sleep deprived and manic. They'd just think I was even more of a scumbag.

I turned around, changing my mind just as the front door opened.

"Callum?" Leanne's mum asked gently.

My shoulders slumped as I turned back. "Sorry. I shouldn't have come here. I just..."

A heavy silence hung over us, then she asked, "Would you like to come in for a cup of tea?"

The simple offer made my throat heavy. I nodded and she led me inside the house. Leanne's dad wasn't around so he must've been at work. I pulled out a chair at the kitchen table while Leanne's mum put the kettle on.

There was a creak on the stairs and I looked through the doorway. Leanne was frozen on a step midway down.

"What are you doing here?" she asked shakily.

"Leanne," her mum said. "You need to go back to bed, you can't be walking around."

"I'm fine," she replied, but I could see the stiffness in her posture, the pain behind her eyes.

I stood and walked out into the hall. She stared down at me from her place on the stairs. I reached out to take her hand, but she pulled away. I frowned.

"I came to see how you're doing."

"I'm doing fantastic, better than ever," she replied sarcastically and I winced. Her frosty tone was like a knife to my throat.

Her mum moved by me, heading for the living room. "I'll let you two talk," she said then closed the door to give us privacy. Leanne came down the last few steps to join me. She was significantly shorter than me. In fact, I was much bigger, much stronger, and yet, in this moment she had the ability to crush me. I'd never felt so vulnerable. Then, without thinking, I asked a question that had been punching holes in my brain for days.

"Did you know?" My voice was choked.

Leanne frowned. "Did I know what?"

"Did you know that you were pregnant?"

Her tone was sharp. "Of course I didn't know! You think I'd keep something like that from you? I already told you I've been so busy with work that I didn't realise—"

"I'm sorry," I said, cutting her off and raking a hand through my hair. "That was a horrible thing to ask. It's just...my head is all over the place." Again, I reached out to touch her, but she recoiled like I was diseased.

She closed her eyes. "Please, don't."

"Why won't you let me touch you?"

"Because it just reminds me of how we got into this mess in the first place. I don't think I can be with you anymore, Cal," she blurted, and just like that, the knife at my throat pressed in, drawing blood.

I shook my head. "You don't mean that."

She opened her eyes. They were steady, unwavering. "I do mean it. I always knew we'd end badly. I should've trusted my instincts."

Agony twisted around my organs. "You're breaking me in two here."

Her words were barely audible as she stared at the floor, her voice watery. "I'm sorry. I really am."

"You're not in the right frame of mind to be making this kind of decision." I refused to accept this. I couldn't.

She swallowed as if for courage, for a second seeming fragile before the steel shutters came down. "That's not true. In fact, my head has never been clearer. I can't be with you anymore. Every time I'm with you, I'll be thinking of what we lost, and it hurts so much to think of it."

She was making a rash decision, and no matter how clear she thought her head was, she was wrong. She was in pain and lashing out. I needed to be calm, patient, but that was hard when my impulses fought tooth and nail against my logic.

"Don't fight me on this, Cal," she begged.

"I'm not fighting you."

"Then please, just go."

I saw the desperation in her and logic won out. She was drowning, but for whatever reason, she didn't want my help swimming to the surface. I felt completely and utterly useless. Disposable. And I knew there was no talking to her. Not right now.

Without another word I turned and left, leaving my heart behind on the hallway floor.

One

Leanne

Present

Don't judge, but sometimes I liked to re-watch the final rap battle scene from 8 Mile. It helped when I was in a particular mood, or having a particular kind of day. Or when I had to deal with a particular someone.

That someone being Callum Davidson, my co-star/ex-lover.

I also liked to re-watch the poem scene from 10 Things I Hate About You, but that was for a whole different type of day. And don't even get me started on Heath Ledger's "Can't Take My Eyes Off You" scene. That right there was a mood.

Some people had soundtracks for their lives. I had a memorized library of movie clips.

But yeah, today was an 8 Mile sort of day.

It was Cal's birthday, and I was going to need all my mental armour to attend. This year he'd chosen a forest party to celebrate the occasion. I used my phone as a flashlight while our new assistant, Michaela, and I trudged along a dirt path trying to locate the party.

"Maybe we should go back and call James for better directions," Michaela suggested. "I can't get a single bar on my phone out here."

"No, we'll keep going for a little bit. It's got to be around here somewhere," I said, my trusty stubbornness kicking in. It often worked to my detriment. For instance, causing me to get lost in the middle of the woods and be eaten by wild animals. Or forcing me to continue working on the reality TV show that also starred my ex.

Constantly being around someone who hurt you, and hurt with you, was a painful experience. One I was still living in.

I was now accustomed to it though. Emotional turmoil was as familiar as the collection of scars and callouses on my body from years of freerunning.

"I think I can see lights up ahead," Michaela said.

My stomach tightened. I was here purely out of loyalty to the group. James, Paul, Trevor, Isaac, Cal and I were the six stars of the popular reality TV series, Running on Air. All of us were experienced in parkour, freerunning, and urban exploration, and each season we tried to create bigger and better stunts.

In a couple of weeks, we'd start filming Season 4, so we were currently enjoying some downtime. I hadn't seen Cal in five weeks, (long story), so I anticipated tonight would be an experience. Whenever we didn't see each other, we built up a reserve of antagonism and desire. Then when we were finally in each other's company, we let it rip.

It was exhilarating yet exhausting. Too addictive to give up. I'd tell myself tomorrow was the day I wouldn't take Cal's bait anymore, and every time tomorrow came, I said tomorrow again.

It was completely dysfunctional. I was aware of that. But weren't junkies also aware that they were addicted to drugs? It didn't mean they were going to quit. Besides, this was how our relationship had been for a long time, and it was hard to change old habits.

When Paul and I had first joined the cast of Running on Air, Cal and I developed something of a competitive rivalry. Midway through filming the first season, that rivalry turned to lust, something that had always bubbled under the surface between us. The lust led to heartache and loss. I pushed him away, he pulled me back. We fought, broke up, then found our way back to each other again. Wash, rinse, repeat. Fighting was natural to us. It meant we didn't have to acknowledge other issues and pain.

Over the course of almost four years, I'd taken a chance with him three times, and three times it ended in heartache. The first breakup was the hardest. The second added another crack, and the third, well, the third taught me never to be a fool again. It had been a year since I was last with Cal. I was strong now, and the control felt good, safe. Cal made me wild, he made me take risks, and I wasn't going back to that ever again.

"How long do you think we'll be out here?" Michaela asked, swiping away a midge.

"We can leave early if you want. I just need to show my face for an hour or so," I replied, and she seemed relieved.

Michaela started working with us a couple of weeks ago. She was perfect PA material, organised to a T. Our other assistant, Neil, was still training her, but she already felt like an integral part of the group. She also felt like a friend, and in my world, female friends were few and far between.

Michaela was very prim and proper, so it was no surprise she didn't seem too comfortable attending a party in the middle of the woods. With her neat ponytail, pencil skirt, cardigan, and ballet flats, she hadn't exactly dressed for the occasion.

I, however, had come in jeans and a hoodie. Casual attire was my usual, but I also didn't want to dress up and give Cal the idea I was trying to impress him.

Fairy lights came into view, leading to an open space surrounded by trees. I had to admit the party was impressive, especially since the location was so remote. There was a makeshift bar and a DJ booth. People were dancing and drinking, lots of barefoot girls dressed up like hippies and blokes with no shirts on.

"Is this legal?" Michaela asked, taking it all in.

"I have no idea. Come on. I think I spotted James and Paul over by the bar."

Her eyes lit up. I'd noticed she had a little bit of a crush on James, but I was pretty sure he was oblivious. It was a good thing too, since he was getting married to his long-term girlfriend, Diana, later this year. Michaela clearly didn't plan to act on her crush, but I felt bad for her all the same. I knew what it was like to want someone you couldn't have. Or, well, someone it wouldn't be healthy for you to have.

Cal and I were like Sid and Nancy, albeit, the less crazy, less famous version. When we were together, we burned bright but always self-destructed in the end. Nowadays we just tried to endure each other's company for the sake of our jobs.

Paul had his back turned to me, so I tapped him on the shoulder.

He turned around, grinning, and pulled me into a hug. "I thought you weren't going to show. Callum's been in a right mood."

"Don't blame me. It's not like it makes a difference to him if I'm here."

"We both know that's not true," Paul said, eyeing me meaningfully.

Paul and I were best friends. We'd met years ago, when we were just a pair of teenagers who loved parkour and had bonded over our dreams to do something bigger with our lives. With his red hair, bright blue eyes, and handsome features, people were always surprised to discover I'd never fancied him. But Paul was a dreamer, and well, a little quirky. Those were appealing attributes in a friend, but not so much in a boyfriend. Then again, I didn't exactly have great taste in men. Cal being exhibit number one.

And speak of the devil... I spotted him sitting with Trevor and his girlfriend, Reya. On the other side of him was Isaac and James' fiancée, Diana. As soon as Cal and I locked eyes, he rose and strode toward me. My pulse sped up the closer he got.

"You're late." He spoke low, and I shivered. His voice had always been one of my weaknesses.

My eyes wandered over him, from his sleeve tattoos to his ripped jeans and black T-shirt. He was every inch the sexy bad boy, every inch a cliché, and yet, I'd been a sucker for him from the start.

"Michaela and I got lost," I complained. "I'm surprised anyone managed to find this place. It's the middle of nowhere."

He gave a slight grin. "Yeah, sorry about that."

He lifted his foot to show a pair of brand-new Puma Faas 500s. They were Cal's favourite trainers for running in, though personally, I preferred my Asics Onitsuka Tigers. They had a better grip in my opinion.

"Thanks for these. Paul said they were from both of you."

Did he now? Paul was a little meddler, and I was going to have a word with him. I hadn't bought Cal anything for his birthday. Mostly because I couldn't think of what to get him. Everything felt either too personal or not personal enough. So, in the end, I went with nothing.

"Um, yeah, happy birthday."

"And what about my birthday hug?" he went on, a teasing glint in his eye.

I looked around for an escape, but everyone else was occupied. Reluctantly, I stepped forward and brought my arms around his neck for a quick, friendly hug. Then without warning, he pulled my body flush to his. A whoosh of air escaped me, and his smell invaded my senses. He always smelled like soap and well, something that was uniquely him. His skin had its own scent, a clean muskiness, and for a second I couldn't help sinking into him.

I miss his smell, the unbidden thought jolted me to my senses. I reminded myself that I hadn't seen him in five whole weeks. More specifically, why I hadn't seen him.

I straightened and stepped out of his arms. "Probably not a good idea."

He scratched his jaw and looked away. There was a flicker of shame behind his magnetic eyes when he brought them back to me. "You know I'm sorry for what happened, right? I was in the wrong and you didn't deserve to be at the centre of all that drama. I've wanted to come over to your place every day since to apologise properly, but Barry warned me off trying to see you."

Barry, our director, could be a bit of a hard bastard, and he wasn't shy in putting his foot down. In this case, I was glad of that. After the scene he caused, Cal was the last person I'd wanted to see. Only now that the storm had settled could I bring myself to be around him. I'd been upset for days before I finally got my anger under control.

When I didn't speak, Cal continued, "I've not been drinking. Trev suggested I cut back. Get my head on straight."

Cal always listened to Trev. He was like the big brother he never had and one of the few people who could make him see sense at times. "Oh? How's that been?"

His expression was self-deprecating. "Rough. I've limited myself to two drinks a night from now on. That way I can't get too...out of control."

"Seems like a good idea." He'd definitely been out of control the last time I saw him.

"Yeah."

A silence fell. I didn't know what to say, and Cal didn't seem in any rush to leave, still standing there staring at me, those green eyes of his bright with possibility. I could see the cogs turning in his head clear as day, like he was conspiring against me. Seduce me or tear me down. It was usually one or the other, though the twinkle in his eye said tonight it might be the former.

I was relieved when Michaela showed up, phone in hand.

"Oh, you're together. Good. I just received an email from Legal that both of your contracts are being renewed. You need to attend a meeting at nine tomorrow morning."

As soon as she said it, relief swept over me. Everybody else's contracts had been renewed over a month ago. Mine and Cal's were scheduled to be renewed, but then the big drama happened and the network postponed our meetings. I'd been driving myself crazy, wondering if all the negative press meant they'd decided to kick us off the show once and for all. My agent, Tanya, reassured me Season 4 was a go, and that they were just ironing out a few details. It turned out she was right and all my worrying had been for nothing.

"Good news, eh?" Cal said and I suspected he was just as relieved as I was.

I nodded before something occurred to me. "Wait, why are we both being put in the same meeting? We normally discuss our contracts separately."

Michaela gave me a perplexed look. She didn't appear to know the answer.

Cal shoved his hands in his pockets, his expression remorseful. "I'm sorry about the delay. It was all my fault."

I eyed him steadily. "Yeah, it was."

He blew out a breath and gave a low chuckle. "Tell it to me straight why don't you."

Some of the anger I'd worked so hard to let go of the last few weeks resurfaced. "Do you expect me to take it easy on you? You could've gotten us both fired."

His remorseful expression deepened. He looked like he was about to say something else when Paul joined us.

"Cal! I have a challenge," he said as he threw his arm around my shoulders.

A hint of annoyance thinned Cal's lips into a hard, straight line. He'd always been irritated at my closeness with Paul, even though there was never anything romantic between us.

Our friendship had been the catalyst to my second breakup with Cal. He discovered Paul spent the night at my place, in my bed, and lost his shit. And okay, it sounded bad, but Paul and I were the definition of platonic. I was pretty sure if you looked the word up in the dictionary there'd be a picture of us. Unfortunately, Cal never could quite get his head around the fact that we were friends and nothing more. Paul might as well have been a girl, but Cal didn't see it that way.

"Oh yeah? What's the challenge?" Cal questioned. I noticed his attention going to where Paul's arm rested on my shoulder.

Paul, either oblivious to Cal's hostility or deciding to ignore it, gestured to a gigantic oak tree about ten yards away. "The first one to climb to the top wins."

"But what does the winner get?" I asked with interest. Wagers always got my blood up. I loved challenges, both as a spectator and a participant.

Paul shrugged. "Bragging rights."

"How about the loser has to do the winner's dirty laundry while we film Season 4?" Cal suggested, smirking as he held my gaze.

I was reminded of a bet we'd made a long time ago. In fact, making bets was sort of our thing. Maybe that was our problem from the beginning. There always had to be a winner and a loser.

"We'll be staying in a guesthouse with a laundry service," Michaela put in.

"I have a good one," Paul said. "The loser has to strip down to their undies and run around the forest doing a primal scream."

"Is that a punishment? I love a good primal scream, and I look fantastic in my undies. Don't I, Leanne?" Cal winked at me.

I arched an eyebrow. "Modest much?"

His grin was wolfish. Somebody was definitely in the birthday mood.

"Well, are you in?" Paul nudged.

"Yes, I'm in," Cal replied, and they headed for the tree.

A group gathered to watch them, while Reya, Trev's girlfriend, came to stand next to me.

She nodded in the direction of Cal and Paul's antics. "What's going on there?"

"They're betting on who can climb to the top first."

"Of course they are." She paused as she took me in. "How have you been?"

I shrugged. "Touch and go. Mostly I'm all right."

She gave me an empathetic look. Reya knew all about the ongoing drama between Cal and me. She'd come on the road with us while we filmed Season 3 and experienced it for herself firsthand. At least no one could ever say life with us wasn't eventful.

"Has Callum apologised for the TV Choice Awards?" she asked.

I blew out a long breath. "Yes, actually. He seems pretty ashamed."

"Good. A little bit of shame will do that boy good."

"Here's hoping."

We watched Cal and Paul for a minute before Reya spoke again, "Trev said you and Michaela have been getting along."

I nodded. "It's definitely nice to have her around. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy around all the guys. Jo decided she wanted to try being a stay-at-home mum for a while, so we needed to find a new assistant. I liked Michaela as soon as she walked into the interview."

Reya lifted an eyebrow. "Oh?"

I chuckled. "She mistook Paul for James. She was completely embarrassed, but it was a plus in my view. It meant she didn't watch the show. A lot of people who apply for jobs with us are fans trying to get close to one of the guys."

Reya nodded. "Makes sense. Trev always tries to downplay the fan mail he gets from girls."

"Hey! You have nothing to worry about. Trev is completely besotted with you. He doesn't even look at other women."

She grinned. "I know."

All of a sudden there was a lot of cheering. Cal and Paul were neck and neck. I wasn't surprised they'd managed to get so high up. Anyone else might've worried someone would get injured, but we did much more dangerous stunts on a daily basis. Climbing was our bread and butter. Truth be told, I was kind of disappointed I hadn't taken part. I was smaller and more agile than both of them and could climb way faster. My competitive streak groaned at the missed opportunity to beat Cal. There had always been something intensely satisfying about besting him, more so than anyone else, which was an impulse I did not want to analyse too deeply.

In the end, Cal climbed the highest, which I guess meant Paul had to strip and run around the forest while primal screaming. I was just glad it wasn't Cal. Him being naked often tested my willpower.

The two of them began climbing back down, and I went with Reya to get a drink. We joined Trev, James, Diana, Isaac, and Michaela, who were all sitting on a picnic blanket enjoying the party. Reya lowered herself to sit next to Trev, and I took the space beside Michaela.

"You surviving okay?" I asked quietly.

She shot me a grin. "Yeah, just about."

There was a wolf whistle, and I turned to see a bunch of people egging Paul on as he stripped down to his boxers. Cal was in tears laughing, and I couldn't help my small grin. It was nice to see him having a good time. In spite of everything that had happened between us, and in spite of how difficult he could be, I still cared for him, still wanted him to be happy.

I just knew that it would never be with me.

"Oh, my God, what is Paul doing?" Diana asked. "Why is he taking all his clothes off?"

"They had a bet," I told her. "He lost."

"Well, it's a good thing the weather's warm today,' Diana replied, "Otherwise he'd catch his death."

"Actually, when we run our core body temperature increases," Michaela countered shyly. "Technically, it's better for him to run naked in the cold than in heat. It puts him in less risk of heatstroke and dehydration."

Diana frowned at her, annoyed. "Who are you again?"

"That's Michaela, babe," James said. "Remember, I told you? She's our new assistant."

"Oh, really? How cute," Diana chirped. Not surprisingly it came out disingenuous.

Diana was someone whose cattiness always bothered me, but I tolerated her for James' sake.

Cal and Paul came to join us, with Paul dropping breathlessly down on the other side of Michaela and Cal taking the spot next to me.

Paul winked at Michaela. "What do you think? Do you like blokes when they're all sweaty?"

She fought a smile. "Not particularly."

"Not even when they've got the body of a Greek God?"

She shook her head and let out a nervous giggle. I was sure if it were James flirting with her right now she might spontaneously combust. "Not even then."

"So you're saying there's a chance," Paul continued to tease, his grin amiable.

"You'll have to keep an eye on him when you come with us to Joburg," Trev said to Michaela. "Paul's got a habit for sneaking into girls' bedrooms at night."

"Hey!" Paul protested. "I'll have you know sleepwalking is a serious disorder."

"Oh, is that what they're calling it?" Trev chuckled.

"Speaking of Joburg, I can't wait to show you all around," Isaac put in. "My cousin Thato almost lost it when I told him we were coming. He's excited to meet you all."

Isaac was the newest and youngest member of our cast. He grew up in a township on the edges of Johannesburg, and he'd fascinated Trev with tales of his upbringing. So much so that Trev managed to convince our director, Barry, to shoot the fourth season there.

We'd never filmed so far afield, and I for one was eager to explore the city. I adored going places that looked and felt distinctly different from London. It gave me a thrilling rush to be in a part of the world I knew nothing about, to learn about the customs and culture, the history. Joburg also looked like an incredible place to freerun. Since Isaac was born and raised there before he and his family emigrated, I was hoping he could show us the real side of the city, rather than the usual tourist spots.

And the fact that I'd be living in the same house as Cal? Well, that was the only thing I wasn't looking forward to, but I could handle it. I'd managed to keep a professional distance from him for almost a year. I wasn't going to let a few weeks of filming break me.

"Have you been seeing anyone?" Cal spoke low, and I jumped a little. I hadn't noticed how close he was.

Then, I frowned, because he knew good and well that wasn't a question he should be asking after all the drama that went down. "Are you referring to Ben Young?"

Cal's facial muscles moved in a way that told me even mentioning Ben's name pissed him off.

"He's an arsehole, you know that, right?"

"And what are you, some kind of saint?"

"At least I'm upfront about it. Ben's the sort of bloke who acts like an altar boy then shags your best mate behind your back."

"I'm pretty sure Paul wouldn't be interested," I scoffed.

Cal shot me an aggravated look. "You know what I mean."

I let out a heavy sigh and relented. "I'm not seeing Ben Young. I was never even interested in him to begin with. You just blew everything out of proportion, like always."

I could tell what I said irritated Cal from the tight set of his jaw. He eyed me closely. "What if I told you I've been seeing someone?"

I tried to ignore the sting in my chest at the idea of Cal having a girlfriend. "You are? And where is she tonight?"

"She had to work. She'll be here later."

There was that sting again. I rubbed my sternum, knowing I had no business feeling jealous. He and I were over, and we both needed to find other people eventually, so why not now?

Cal continued to watch me until I grew uncomfortable. "Why are you staring?"

"You're jealous," he stated.

"No, I'm not."

"You forget I can read your facial expressions like a book."

"Well, if you think I'm jealous your reading technique is off, because I could care less if you're dating someone," I bluffed.

"Oh really? So how would it make you feel if I told you I lied just now?"

That little shit. I shoved him in the shoulder. "That was manipulative."

Cal grinned. "You're relieved, though, right?"

I was, but I'd never admit it. My jealousy and subsequent relief weren't logical. They were illogical. And that was why I refused to let how I felt for Cal control me. I could never feel free if my emotions were constantly dependent on the actions of someone who'd proven themselves to be unpredictable.

I made sure to look him directly in the eye. "Cal, believe me when I say this, I want you to be happy. I want you to find someone."

His expression sobered and he didn't speak for a long moment. When he did, he looked away and picked up a fallen leaf, smoothing his fingers over its lined surface. "Yeah well, I don't think I'm ready for a relationship. I've got a lot of issues with my temper that I need to sort through. What happened with Ben Young helped me realise that, so at least something good came out of that shitshow."

I studied him. It was unlike Cal to admit he needed to work on himself. I'd more expect him to claim he was perfect and that the rest of the world had the problem.

"Are you telling me you're turning over a new leaf?" It seemed poetic that he was holding one in his hand.

"Maybe not an entire leaf, but I am trying to change my ways, starting with drinking less."

Hmm, Cal did always do his worst damage when he was drunk.

"That's good. I guess... I guess I'm proud of you."

His expression softened. My statement seemed to mean something to him. "I really am sorry for what happened, Leanne. I never want to feel that out of control ever again, or put your career in jeopardy just because I'm a jealous twat."

Maybe that was why I always felt like I lost control when we were together. His wildness was contagious.

"You know I..." I coughed, my throat suddenly tight. Why was I feeling so emotional all of a sudden? "You know I meant it when I said I want you to be happy."

His eyes brightened, his voice almost wistful. "I want you to be happy too."

For a second, the emotion in his voice plunged me into a memory.

How can it hurt this much to lose something you didn't even know you had?

Cal's question from three years ago still echoed in my head regularly. It was the reminder I needed to stay away from him. If not physically, since we had to work together, then at least emotionally. I needed to constantly remind myself of all the reasons why letting Cal back into my heart was a bad idea. He took me on these crazy, exhilarating rides, but it always ended in pain. I couldn't do it again. I wouldn't.

What happened several weeks ago was a prime example of the chaos Cal brought into my life. I kept it at the forefront of my mind so that I wouldn't slip.

My heart had taken too many beatings over the years, and I wasn't sure it could survive another.

 Continue reading Off the Air Now!

Meet the Author

Greetings! 'Tis a pleasure to make your acquaintance. My name is L.H. Cosway and I wrote the book you just read. I hail from Dublin, Ireland, where I live with my husband and two tiny dictators of the canine variety. My favourite things in life include daydreaming about fictional characters, eating in fancy restaurants, looking at dresses online that I'll never buy, having entire conversations with my dogs, listening to podcasts and of course, reading books. I happen to believe that imperfect people are the most interesting kind. They tell the best stories.

Here is my website where you can find various and sundry information about me and my books: www.lhcoswayauthor.com

Want to chat about my stories with like-minded readers or pick my brain? You can join my reader group  HERE.

You can also keep up with all my latest book news and goings on by subscribing to my newsletter: www.lhcoswayauthor.com/newsletter/

And lastly, feel free to follow me at any of these popular online establishments:

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Pinterest

Bookbub

Books by L.H. Cosway

Contemporary Romance

Painted Faces

Killer Queen

The Nature of Cruelty

Still Life with Strings

Showmance

Fauxmance

Happy-Go-Lucky

The Cracks Duet

A Crack in Everything (#1)

How the Light Gets In (#2)

The Running on Air Series

Air Kiss (#0.5)

Off the Air (#1)

Something in the Air (#2)

The Hearts Series

Six of Hearts (#1)

Hearts of Fire (#2)

King of Hearts (#3)

Hearts of Blue (#4)

Thief of Hearts (#5)

Cross My Heart (5.75)

Hearts on Air (#6)

The Rugby Series with Penny Reid

The Hooker & the Hermit (#1)

The Player & the Pixie (#2)

The Cad & the Co-ed (#3)

The Varlet & the Voyeur (#4)

