what's up everybody this is Chris from
the rewired soul where we talk about the
problem but focus on the solution and if
you're new to my channel the whole
reason my channel exists is to try to
take what we see going on in the YouTube
community or anything like that and try
to see what we can pull from it and
learn from to improve our own mental and
emotional well-being and that's why this
video is a little bit different I didn't
get my whole intro and all that spiel
stuff because we're gonna be talking
about how they just found the body of
Desmond Etika Amofa alright so this video is gonna be
I'm thinking unedited I'm going to be
looking at my phone cuz I wrote down
some notes but anyways I'm making this
video from a few different perspectives
those of you who don't know me I worked
in the drug and alcohol treatment field
for a little over three years we also
specialized in mental health so I'm
talking from that experience I'm talking
from the experience as somebody who has
lost over 70 people to drug overdoses as
well as suicide and I'm talking to you
as somebody who just celebrated seven
years of sobriety on June 23rd and seven
years ago I wanted to die alright so
anybody watching this like at the end of
this video I'm gonna share a little bit
more and just talk about never losing
hope but if you're in a dark place right
now my please check out the description
down below as well as the pin comments
there's gonna be some resources for help
out there if you are an international
viewer if you have the number for the
suicide prevention hotline in your area
please leave it down in the comments
I'll try to update the description and
update that because I mainly just know
the United States one day anyways first
I want to share the story of Etica so I
didn't know who edica was until April
and that's when I started looking in
this story so Annika is was a very big
streamer gamer and I believe he had
almost eight hundred thousand-plus
maybe on YouTube and in October I
believe it was he sabotage his channel
and he did this by uploading pornography
and things like that just to break
guidelines
take his channel right because YouTube's
out to three strikes boom they take it
down so real quick like one of the signs
of someone being suicidal is giving away
like the most prized possessions like if
you have somebody in your life who is
giving away the things that mean the
most to them like this is a sign alright
so when I when I see that etiquette gave
away you know his YouTube channel like
that's his livelihood that's this thing
that he built right well I first found
out about Etika when was I believe it
was in April where he had a standoff
with the police and the reason this
whole thing started was because people
were worried about him
he was making suicidal threats he was
also acting very erratic he clearly
struggled with mental illness he had
been you know in treatment before and
things like that but anyway he had a
standoff with the police the whole thing
was live-streamed I made a video about
it at the time but anyway it's like
something I was just talking about in
that stream is just you know just seeing
people like Eddie come on and gassing
them up and everything like this is just
one of those things where people in the
public spotlight struggling with mental
illness it's it's very difficult it's
very scary right
but anyways Annika ended up you know
getting detained by the police he went
to a mental health hospital and a lot of
people are asking like why'd they let
him go I'm gonna touch on that in a
second anyways he he ended up getting
out coming back he started a new YouTube
channel and you know yeah I just hope
the best for him and I'm like you know
hopefully he's getting help but the
other day I saw Etica was trending again
on Twitter and I'm like oh no this isn't
good
and yeah he ended up posting a video to
his channel that YouTube ended up taking
down which was basically a goodbye it
was like a suicide note and then the
description it was too and yeah I a lot
of people have asked me to make a video
on it but like many other people out
there I was holding out hope that this
was you know just you know him faking it
or something like that and more and more
news started to come out I believe the
New York Post published something saying
that you know they found his belongings
I believe the Brooklyn Bridge but there
was still no body yet and like I'm just
you know an optimist like I'm holding
out hope but today the the NYPD actually
tweeted out and some other people are
already covering it that they did find
Atticus body all right so yeah this is
so it's it's terrible anytime I hear
about this because there's so many
reasons right like it's somebody who
felt that way for a very very long time
like I just I want everybody out there
watching this to know like there is hope
and you can get help so a few things I
want to talk about like something I saw
you know keemstar talking about when
Edeka went missing was why didn't they
hold him why didn't they hold him
knowing that he was suicidal making
these suicidal threats why didn't they
hold him and this is this is just how
the mental health system works and you
have to understand like you have to
understand like all the angles and
everything like that to think about like
what what can we do right like like
let's say we even let's say it was even
possible which it's not to hold somebody
for a year two years three years
whatever it is like biggest to leave and
just you know take their own life you
know what I mean
but legally they can't but so typically
what happens if you are making suicidal
threats you're a danger to yourself or
others they will put you on a hold okay
sometimes a 48 hours sometimes a 72-hour
hold whatever it is and throughout that
process I was just asking my beautiful
girlfriend Tristan about it she worked
in a psychiatric hospital like typically
what happens out to those 72 hours is
they assess you right are you still a
danger are you still a risk so when we
look at Attica situation he could have
easily been like you know I was joking
you know I'm a streamer it was just for
views or whatever it is like people do
this all the time right like think about
like let's let's take another example
think about a domestic violence call
right and the police show up and then
the husband and wife answered the door
and the husband and wife say no
everything was fine even though the
neighbors and everybody heard the
yelling
whatever and the police look around and
there's no bruises there's nothing
broken
like what can they do so it's very well
possible that Etica you know told them
that no this was I'm not really thinking
about taking my life just to get out of
there like a lot of people do that just
to get out of there and if they were to
talk to family or friends or even if
they researched Etica they can probably
find just even on social media or
talking to friends or family members and
they might think that this is just
something that he does you know what I
mean so they can't necessarily hold him
right and I I just hope people
understand that like and you know when
whenever a tragedy like this happens
people want to point blame at somebody I
can tell you I can I can tell you this
like working in the drug and alcohol
treatment center a story that happened
many many times was somebody who was in
treatment didn't want to be in treatment
was forced to be in treatment maybe by
the judge or by their family or whoever
it was and they would start like
bringing drugs in and getting high in
the treatment center putting everybody
else's life at risk right
and they because they're not only
endangering themselves but they're
bringing drugs into a treatment center
dangering everybody else so they would
get kicked out and then maybe that
person would leave overdose and die and
then everybody wanted to blame the
treatment center and it's like I'd have
to explain to clients like what do you
what are you supposed to do right like
and this is why mental health is so
tricky so speaking of keemstar keemstar
you know has been talked about a lot in
conjunction with Etica because you know
those two you know they had a
relationship like a French friendship it
was business or whatever but like after
the mental breakdown by King star jumped
on the opportunity to interview Attica
on drama alert they anyways a lot of
people were on Twitter like when I think
how am I missing a lot of people were
blaming keemstar and like all I can say
to that is like don't be a dick right
like I am no fan of keemstar but to
blame anybody for someone taking their
own life is
just a really dick move um not knowing
Cuse our personally I guarantee you know
things like that has been on his mind I
guarantee there are many people on
Twitter who joked about Etica and things
like that like they have some form of
guilt that they're dealing with but
here's the thing here's one of the
reasons why like we can't try to blame
people for things like this happening
because something I learned about my own
mental health is nobody can stop me from
doing what I'm doing nobody can make me
take my own life nobody can make me get
drunk nobody can make me get high but in
the same respect nobody can make me get
better like that's that's what I try to
teach everybody who watches my videos
like when it comes to our mental health
like there is just this massive personal
responsibility like we have to do it
nobody can get better for us alright so
like when I look at this tragedy when it
comes to Etica like you know when we're
pointing fingers and were blaming like
unless he wanted to get better like you
can't force him to take his medications
right if if he was prescribed
medications you can't force him to when
I was first kind of watching the
etiquette story from back in April like
he left treatment he didn't want to get
help when he was having a standoff with
the police he was like even telling him
like you know you're just gonna send me
back to a treatment center and they're
gonna put me on these medications you
know like you can't just hold somebody
down for the rest of their life and
force them medications and that's why we
have to want to get help but the other
thing that I think is important as as
somebody who's half african-american I
try to convey this as much as possible
like African American men and women are
statistically less likely to get help
for their mental health and this for a
wide range of reasons this is maybe the
you know where they're from with the way
they were brought up and things like
that but just know like if you're
somebody who is African American
struggling with your mental health just
know there are specific resources out
there you can google them and things
like that they're specific therapists
psychiatrists psychologists everything
like that that work with African America
so because I know just in speaking with
you know other African Americans who
don't want to get help for their mental
health they feel and you know it's true
too like a lot of people in the mental
health field all right they feel like
this person won't understand right so
just know that there are resources
available the last thing I want to talk
about again like make sure you check
down on the resources below because my
story is seven years ago I was laying in
a hospital bed with a 10% chance of
living and I wanted everybody to give up
on me
like everybody was begging me to quit
drinking quit using they were reminding
me that I had a son you know and all
these other things but in that dark
place my brain told me that everybody
would be better off without me my son
would be better off without me my mom
would be better off there not without me
that's what depression and suicidal
thoughts like make you think but it's
also this hopelessness and when I look
at attica's situation I see this
hopelessness right he he sabotage his
channel you know and from there it like
it it wasn't being built back up you
know he tried to and you know what I
mean and like I could just I could tell
you this all right as somebody who has
lost everything multiple times okay
like never lose hope like something that
I'm just so grateful for like if any of
you have been following my channel like
I've had a messed up year you know but I
never lose hope I don't know what it is
I was just talking to a friend about
this in the etiquette situation like I
don't know what happened or what it is
but I had this blind faith that I was
given years ago that things will get
better right and I wish I could just
give that to people and it's just if
you're struggling the best advice I can
give you is first off get help
second off if you can't afford help but
honor the resources for help get a
support group but with all the you know
suicide prevention hotlines like there
are people who are there to talk to you
and
but get a support group it's important
to people how today you have people in
your life who understand something that
gave me hope was like I hit you know
quote uncle rock-bottom right but I
heard stories from so many people who
hit lower rock bottom's than I did I
heard stories from so many people like I
had a messed-up childhood but I heard
stories of people who had even worse
childhoods than I had but all these
people like were able to turn their life
around right and the thing is again like
I mentioned like we have to take
responsibility for it we can't just
expect life to get better you know what
I mean like we have to put in the work
sometimes our work is going into therapy
sometimes our work is taking our
medications sometimes that work is
getting out of our comfort zone going to
support groups it's 2019 like look on
Facebook there are plenty of support
groups out there like whatever it is go
on Twitter use a search function type in
depression type in anxiety type in
whatever it is you will find somebody
who understands what you're going
through because when we get into that
dark place we feel alright like we feel
that nobody understands what we're going
through but that is a lie that our
depression is telling us there is always
someone out there who understands what
you've been going through like I don't
know if it would be beneficial but like
I wish I wish more people and it wasn't
so stigmatized I wish there's more
people out there who who would speak up
and say hey listen at some point in my
life I thought about taking my own life
but I didn't and here's why not ending
it was the best thing that ever happened
to me right like this is me seven years
later and my life is amazing it's not
perfect I still have challenges I solve
struggles you know what I mean but it is
incredible compared to where I used to
be seven years ago it took time it took
patience it took work my life is amazing
today and I'm nothing special you could
do the same all right but anyways if you
know anybody who might be struggling
like just be there
form listen to them talk to them
encourage them to get help if you're the
person watching this and you need help
do not be afraid to ask for help
there was always always always hope out
there alright but anyways that's all I
got for this video you know god
I don't know this has been messing with
me ever since he went missing and yeah
that's it check down in the description
below and yeah I'll see you all next
time
