A perverse narcissist is the most dangerous
kind of manipulators on my opinion.
What's to be afraid of?
Socially adaptive psychopath
or perverse narcissist
is a diagnosis of the new era in psychology.
Those are people without having any empathy,
yet having a unique quality to adapt,
to get resources, to take simply everything away from a victim,
depreciating afterwards, when there's nothing more left to take.
The danger of a perverse narcissist,
on the contrary to manipulators and pick-up artists,
is the fact that they truly believe in what they do.
They honestly believe they are in love with a victim
at the beginning of a relationship.
And they can be in a psychological adjustment up to a year.
Perverse narcissists would keep searching for a key
till the lock opens.
They can pretend being a perfect prince or princess for quite a long time.
An idea of 'a perfect man like in the best Hollywood movies!'
'He's all I've ever dreamed of!' - is a sign
that you should definitely be aware.
Narcissistic coilision is something we often confuse
with ideal love, a relation of two souls
or a watershed meeting.
'Is it faith?' - You usually think while looking at him. 'I believe we meant to be together'.
We see a perfect man like in the best Hollywood movies,
because a perverse narcissist is like a chameleon, which changes its color adjusting to a victim
and nicely shows all good qualities
and what a victim cares about the most.
That's why you don't have any adrenaline rushes
when you first meet him,
as long as a perverse narcissist doesn't brake your boundaries,
because he is like you.
You can't have an adrenaline rush on yourself.
A perverse narcissist unconsciously hates his victim, as he can't be like her.
The subconsciousness of a manipulator desires to declassify a victim
and so admires her at first,
idealizing artificially
to make it easier to bring her down in the future.
Yet, in his consciousness
he's absolutely sure in having feelings for her.
This is the most dangerous feature in him.
A normal person feels ashamed of lying,
as we can recognize the lying from body language.
However, a perverse narcissist is very honest in his idealization,
so it's more difficult for us to catch him.
He imagines a victim to be perfect,
because he knows it's easier this way
to take control over a person.
A normal person takes other people as they are,
while a narcissist pretends them to be like he imagined.
'I adore you and worship you, you're my obsession',
'I wished to be like you',
'It's easy for you, as it's YOU',
'I'm jealous of you in a good way' -
these are some typical phrases of a narcissist.
This is how his subconsciousness works.
Endless compliments,
which you've never heard before from anyone,
is another reason to watch out. Depreciating you would be a cost for idealizing.
By depreciating his victim
a perverse narcissist feels himself mighty.
While a victim thinks there's something wrong with her,
as just yesterday he was a perfect man.
A perverse narcissist is not interested in sex.
It's just a tool for abuse or manipulation for him.
Such person can keep paying attention to a woman for a long time
without giving any hint of intimacy.
A man, who is a perverse narcissist,
can keep away from sex being in a relationship with you,
therefore not having another lover on the side.
Sex is a tool to control a victim, not an intimacy matter.
Be aware when someone is in romantic relation with you, yet recalling of previous relationships as:
'I haven't been sleeping with her for months.
I was disappointed with her finally'.
Then why did you keep seeing her?
Try to put this question on time.
A psychopath thinks differently
already being a child.
They don't understand what positive and creative emotions are,
so they learn to pretend them in order to adapt in the society.
That's why perverse narcissists can easily turn into chameleons.
Yet they pretend mostly in words,
not in actions.
A psychopath knows that love means care
and he can control his actions for some period of time.
However, as soon as a victim stops being interesting to him, he doesn't care any more.
Impulsion and sudden mood swings.
Inadequate changes without any reason
is also a feature of a psychopath or a perverse narcissist.
He can scream at a shop assistant or a parking man and smile to you a minute later.
He controls himself as much as he can,
as a victim is not totally under his control yet.
But from time to time he loses the mask.
For this reason you have to have a special knowledge to recognize a perverse narcissist.
We discussed 10 features of a narcissist in the previous video.
A perverse narcissist would have all of them in more aggressive form.
What's the difference between them anyway?
A narcissist is focused more on himself
and he's not interested in resources of a victim.
The only condition in a relationship is that a victim doesn't bother him much.
He doesn't care about her resources yet
until she's not asking for money.
However, a perverse narcissist is fully focused on victim's resources,
like her contacts, status, money, appearance,
how she acts, her intelligence,
so that everyone adores her.
It's important to understand
that a victim of a perverse narcissist (man)
is always a successful, confident,
beautiful and intelligent woman.
the same thing with men-victims: successful, confident,
intelligent and having resources.
A perverse narcissist is always interested in resource of a victim.
The second feature.
A perverse narcissist has a key feature -
- to pull everything upside down
and totally avoid responsibility.
That's why this kind is actually called perverse one,
which is originally french and means to pervert,
to make it seem different,
make a total fool out of a victim.
I'd like to remind you 10 features of a narcissist.
1. A sense of self greatness.
2. A constant fantasy of success, power,
brightness, beauty, an ideal object of love.
3. A deep belief that he\she is a unique person,
worth being among the best people.
4. A constant need of being admired.
5. A feeling everyone owes him\her.
This means unreasonably high expectations
from other people.
6. Exploiting behaviour while communicating,
using other people to succeed in the goals,
a tendency to manipulate.
7. Lack of empathy,
unwillingness to accept feelings of other people.
8. A narcissist is usually jealous of other people,
therefore convinced others are jealous of him\her.
I'd like to pay your attention to the fact
that a socially adaptive narcissist's jealousy
can come out in gossiping.
They like to discuss other people's lives,
they always know everything.
9. Demonstration of arrogant and superior behaviour. Everyone owes him\her.
The 10th feature is a delicate self-esteem.
All 10 features of a narcissist
would definitely have a perverse narcissist as well,
in fact having some new ones.
Before starting with these new features,
I'd like to draw your attention to some issues,
explaining how the difference between a narcissist
and a perverse one is shown.
For example, a feeling of self greatness of a narcissist
would be even greater for a perverse kind.
They like to tell stories where they are from,
that they were born on a special day,
when stars took a special position in the sky.
They like to tell about their accomplishments,
how they achieved goals,
how no one supported them
and they broke through the wall of success on their own.
On their private pages in social media
they call themselves: The Great,
Julius Caesar, The King, The Imperator, The God.
When we discussed such feature
like the need to be admired,
a perverse narcissist has to be the center of everyone's attention.
If you entered a group of people and got all attention,
a perverse kind would either be rude with you,
or get back at you later on.
Most victims behave very quietly
next to perverse narcissists,
keep silence, don't make any critical moves,
don't express their opinions.
That's why the difference between two kinds of narcissists is
that for the first kind it's just about
everyone tells him how special he is,
while for the perverse kind it's much greater issue. If no one notices him in a group of people,
it means 'these people are not good
and we won't go there anymore'.
Perverse narcissists often make presents publicly. He acts this way to be praised and admired by others.
I've mentioned a delicate self-esteem of a narcissist before.
If a simple narcissist receives any critics,
he would make a huge scandal out of this.
While a perverse narcissist due to his tender self-esteem
would act the same - he wouldn't accept any critics,
yet additionally he would start a depressive self-critics like
'Life is disgusting and I'm disgusting'. In fact, there are no objective reasons for that.
A sudden unreasonable mood swing. In the morning he woke up being fit and confident,
yet 5 minutes later he went to the state like 
'everything's bad, I'm a bad person and this world is awful'.
His tender self-esteem can have various states like 'I'm miserable'.
Here's another example on the topic
of jealousy and gossips.
A perverse narcissist has stronger feeling of jealousy,
so it seems to him that
'everyone is jealous of us', 'they are all enemies'.
As a matter of fact, a perverse narcissist 
cannot possibly stand the success of others.
If his friend was promoted,
you'd probably hear from him
'The boss is stupid and promoted him'.
If a victim succeeded in something and deserves to be admired,
a perverse narcissist would do anything
to bring her down
explaining that she was just lucky.
When we are talking about lack of empathy,
a perverse kind has this feature at a new level. If you start crying because he was rude with you,
you'd get an answer:
'Stop crying, I don't care about your emotions',
'This is all your fault, only yours'.
All 10 features would have a perverse narcissist as well. Yet, there are some more.
Well, feature #11.
Unhealthy innocence.
You'd never hear from him a simple phrase like
'This is my fault. I was wrong'.
The phrase has to be said honestly, I emphasize it.
In a perverse narcisssist's world there's always someone, who's guilty,
most probably you, while he's always right. Full shift of responsibility.
- My car has broken
and this is all your fault!
- Me? I can't even drive!
- You don't wish me luck!'
The only case when a perverse kind can accept he's wrong, if a victim leaves and he's losing her.
And this feature is obligatory of a reunion.
But in reality he doesn't think this way.
Don't you believe me?
I recommend you to ask him what exactly he did wrong.
In most cases a perverse narcissist doesn't tell you this.
He just can't understand it. The most you might hear is 'I love you and don't want to lose you'.
12. Revengefulness.
He can revenge to his partner
for some small mistake ten times harder.
In all his stories about achieving anything,
his development and victories,
a certain place would have the fact
how he revenged to someone.
It's a great satisfaction for a perverse narcissist to know he got back at someone,
and aside from his social adaptation,
he's proud of himself
that he hurt someone really hard.
In my third book I explain in details
what questions you should put,
so that a perverse kind shows his real face.
13. Depreciating.
A perverse narcissist would always depreciate everyone,
who's inconvenient to him,
including you. If you suggest he goes to a psychologist,
he'd try to win a psychologist over to his side, and after that he'd depreciate a specialist finally.
He could say 'This person - Boginskaya,
who is she anyway?
She's not even a psychologist,
just a writer'.
'Your friends are stupid,
they are jealous of you and try to seduce me.
And your mother is a silly woman,
because if not, she'd have better results in her life'.
He uses any kind of depreciation.
If someone has more success,
he\she is just lucky.
A perverse narcissist firstly adores you,
puts you on the top,
so that later it would be easier for him to bring you down.
He gets satisfaction from depreciating and destroying
such confident and successful person.
14. Gaslighting and self-gaslighting
as the highest form of psychological abuse.
Please check out my video about gaslighting.
15. Lack of sex.
In case a manipulator is ready to break up,
but he can't do it himself due to several possible reasons, like:
his parents' opinion, business deals and connections,
financial dependence from a victim,
public opinion etc., it's very important to him that a victim makes this decision.
Moreover, if it's done with a great sense of guilt, it would be just perfect.
One day he stops having sex with you.
Not for a week or two, but for months.
A victim tries to find out the reason,
yet the answer is:
'I'm tired', 'I've eaten too much',
'I'm hungry', 'I didn't sleep well',
'I've to get up early tomorrow and it's already late',
'I've a headache',
'I've a running nose', 'I feel stomach heaviness',
'My heart's beating too fast',
'The Moon is in wrong position',
'The bed is too small',
'The coach is too big' and thousands of other excuses. Firstly a victim believes him.
Because there are no good reasons of a sudden cool-down: no scandals or blames.
After that a victim starts to buy tonnes of new lingerie, to do more sports,
change hair color, whiten the teeth,
go to tanning salon etc.,
after a victim finally realizes
that a partner doesn't respond.
So, an idea of a third party occurs.
And this idea is correct.
Because an ordinary person, especially a man, needs sex and there can be only two reasons of its absence:
either the third party or sexual debility.
Though, a victim remembers a predator is totally healthy considering previous hot nights of love.
A victim starts feeling jealousy
and checks his cell-phone, makes often calls, maybe even spies.
While a predator keeps claiming of being tired of her "schizophrenia" and cannot leave like that anymore.
This is the case when a manipulator leaves
making a total fool of a victim.
Otherwise, the game gets on the next level.
A moment comes when a victim understands there's no third party.
Understanding this idea becomes the toughest thing for the self-esteem.
After 3 and more months without sex a victim realizes:
'He doesn't want me anymore'.
You live like brother and sister and this satisfies a manipulator.
At some moment, in order not to become really insane and to keep up the self-esteem,
a victim gets to having an affair.
The last part of the game starts right here.
An offended player proudly leaves an unfaithful partner. As a result, a victim feels guilty
while a manipulator is free and happy.
As a fact, there's no point of proving an affair.
Some flirting with others or correspondence with another person would be enough.
I highly recommend you to watch my video
'Manipulation by means of intimacy'.
You'll find all links in description to this video. The most dangerous thing is
that a perverse narcissist seems ideal for the whole world,
he\she doesn't do anything wrong,
yet you're going crazy.
All your friends keep telling you:
'What are you talking about?
This person is just perfect!' If you see at least 8 features out of 15 in your partner,
you can be sure you have a relationship with a destructive person,
who destroys you mentally,
physically and socially.
Only knowledge can save you from manipulation.
So, subscribe to the channel and put your 'likes'.
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and your recommendations can save thousands of lives.
I am thankful to have you with me.
You are welcome to watch a detailed video on this topic
under the link in description.
