

Saving Allison

J. Stoute

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BROKEN SOCIETY

packed with information on anti-terrorism for your own safety.

Brought to you by Stoute Publishing

www.stoutepublishing.com

CHAPTER ONE

After watching her mother and father drive away from their home, Allison ran upstairs and went through her dresser drawer. From under a pile of clothing, she pulled out a small notebook and placed it on top of her desk. She went back downstairs and walked to the backyard, where she entered her father's workshop searching for the long piece of rope he used to tie things down in his truck. He always kept it hanging to the right as you walked in, and Allison knew exactly where to find it. She used a stepping stool to reach the hook that held the rope. Even with the stool, she had to stretch in order to grasp the very top of the loop that hung over the hook. With a little shaking and twisting, Allison was finally able to wiggle the rope entirely free.

She placed the rope on her father's workbench before going back into the yard to drag the old six-rung stepladder from the side of the shop. He kept it propped up against the side of the building. She carried the metal ladder to a spot where the branches of an old oak tree hung lower than all the rest. Once she had the ladder open and in place, she returned to the shop to retrieve the rope she had just pulled off the wall hook. With one end of the rope in hand, Allison climbed each rung of the ladder until she was one step from the top, standing even with the large tree branch. She wrapped the rope around the branch several times before tying a knot to hold it in place.

Allison climbed down the ladder and returned it to its original location against the shop where it belonged. She went into the shop once again to search for the box cutter that her father kept in the top drawer of his toolbox. She walked back outside carrying the knife and the small stepladder she had used to retrieve the rope. Allison climbed onto the first step of the stepladder and cut the rope. She gathered the remaining rope on the ground and coiled it up, then neatly returned the excess to the shop. She looked around inside the shop taking one last glance at the place where she had spent so many hours helping her father with various projects.

As she slowly made her way back toward the tree branch with the rope hanging down from it, her eyes scanned the yard – the same yard in which she had played as a baby in diapers. When she reached the rope she had secured to the branch, Allison stood on the top rung of the stepladder and stretched her hands up to tie a noose on the free end of the rope. After several attempts at creating the uniquely sinister knot, she was finally satisfied with the result. As she moved to place the noose around her neck, Allison realized that she had forgotten to put the load of laundry into the dryer as her mother had asked.

Allison climbed down the stepladder and ran inside to complete her final chore, as requested. She didn't want to disappoint her mother even if she wouldn't be around to hear her mother complaining about the clothes not being dry. Allison returned to the rope hanging from the tree and climbed up the stepladder for the second time.

She passed the loop over her head and pulled it down around her neck. Allison pulled gently on the rope to tighten the knot. She closed her eyes, standing in place for several minutes before rocking her body suddenly to the left and then to the right before kicking the stepladder out from under her own feet. The ladder fell onto its side, causing Allison's body to drop; her weight caused the rope to tighten even more around her neck. Gravity's tug on her body also caused the tree branch to sway downward, leaving her feet only a few inches from the ground.

"Hurts, doesn't it?" a strange voice caused Allison to open her eyes only to find an older boy standing below, looking up at her. Allison didn't know him, but he couldn't be more than eighteen years old. His green eyes sparkled, even under the shade of the tree. His blond hair was combed back, and she couldn't spy a single strand out of place.

As her life slowly drained from her body, Allison thought to herself, Yes, this rope hurts.

"Not the rope, Allison – life. Life hurts, doesn't it? Just take my hand," the boy said, offering his hand to Allison as he smiled up at her.

Her face was already changing different shades of red and purple, but with her last scrap of energy, Allison reached out for the stranger's hand.

"Come with me," he said softly, again offering a smile that warmed her from within.

"Where?" Allison asked, still mystified by who this person was.

"It doesn't matter, Allison, but it's much better than where you were going."

With the rope no longer around her neck, but unable to explain how it had been removed, Allison followed him into the house where he turned to her and said, "I'm Jordan, by the way."

The two of them sat at the kitchen table and began to talk.

"I want to tell you a story about myself. I was only seventeen years old when, like you, I seemed to have so many problems. I didn't see how my life could possibly change. It was the same old story, day after day. Up until that age, I had lived at the mercy of my parents, and I couldn't see them ever changing so I knew that my life wouldn't either. I thought about running away, but where would I go? How could I survive on my own? In my mind, there was only one way out, so I also killed myself...."

"You killed yourself? But you're sitting here talking to me... Are you a ghost?" Allison asked, not knowing if she should be afraid or if any of this was even real. Is this what happens when you die, she wondered, considering the possibility that she was already dead. Maybe she had succeeded in hanging herself.

"No, Allison, I'm not a ghost. I'm an angel. I'm actually your guardian angel. I was assigned to you the day you started to write the letter now sitting on your desk. A letter that you were unable to finish, I might add."

Allison thought back to writing the letter that told her parents goodbye, which had happened more than a week ago. Her letter had never been finished because she couldn't find the words she wanted to say that would make everything alright. Instead, she'd just placed the unfinished letter on her desk.

"Yes, that's the one," Jordan answered as if he could hear Allison's thoughts.

"How could you know about my letter?"

"I know much more about you than you could ever imagine. Like I was saying, when I was seventeen, it seemed as though I couldn't do anything good enough to please my parents. My mom and dad separated and divorced by the time I was fifteen. My mother used me as a pawn to get back at my father for everything he did that she didn't agree with. I was handed off every other weekend, living in two different homes for two weeks at a time for two years. My father was strict and my mother wasn't, which caused me to act one way for two weeks and then another way after that. It seemed like I was being pulled in so many different directions, but I thought there was only one way out of it all. I had no friends in school, and I was seventeen with no car, no job, and no one special to live for. My face was covered with pimples, so much so that at times, I ditched school just to avoid showing my face in public. I imagine that I felt exactly how you feel today – overwhelmed by a feeling of worthlessness with no self-esteem – so what did I do? While at my father's house during a two-week stay, I loaded his shotgun while he was out for the evening, and I shot myself in the chest. Unlike you, I didn't leave a letter. I wanted to torment both my mother and father for years to come. They could have treated me differently and loved me more than themselves, but they hadn't. At first, the blast sent a stinging sensation throughout my body, but that only lasted for a short time. Before I knew it, there were strangers busting through the front door. The neighbors must have heard the gunshot because someone called 911; before long, there were first responders on the scene trying to save my life.

I was rushed to the hospital where a team of doctors and other medical personnel continued to try to save my life. For hours, they all worked feverishly on me. I remember feeling needles piercing my body at dozens of different spots before being put to sleep. The next thing I remembered, I was in some private room because everything was quiet for a while except for an annoying beeping sound. I tried to open my eyes. At least, my mind was telling my eyes to open, but I could only see a small amount of light through one eye.

I remember seeing my mother and father standing next to my bed, one on either side. They couldn't even come together for my sake, is what I thought. For the first time in my life, I watched my father cry. Tears rolled down his face as he stared down at me. Unable to talk or move, I watched them through a small slit in my right eye, too small for them to know that I could see them or that I was even awake. My mother was crying too, and I began to ask myself, What had I done to both of them? Could they now see the error of their ways? Did they understand how they'd treated me or the way they had made me feel? I thought about other things that I could have done to make them aware of how I was feeling. Maybe running away would have worked out better than what I had tried, and just maybe, simply talking to them and letting them know how I felt might have worked. At that very moment, I decided that when I got better and all of this blew over, that was precisely what I was going to do. I was going to talk to them. After all, I was seventeen and in a year, I could move out on my own if things hadn't changed. I had allowed what was bothering me at a single moment to dictate my entire future. That was my plan as I lay silently in bed listening to my parents, but God had other plans for me. The room became darker, and my final thought was about how much I had thrown away. I died that day in the presence of the two people who loved me the most, yet had no idea how I felt, or what I had been going through due to their actions. If only I had chosen another path."

"I'm sorry," Allison said, as tears rolled down her face.

"Don't be sorry, Allison. Be thankful. Be thankful that I'm here to help and stop you from making the same mistake that I did. I'm here to give you the opportunity that was never given to me – the gift of sight, past, present, and part of the future."

"Have I died? Is this my punishment for killing myself?"

"No, Allison, you haven't died... not yet anyways. And no, you're not being punished. I'm here to help you as I said before."

Jordan took Allison by the hand to lead her upstairs. As they entered her room, Allison barely recognized it. Instantly, she asked herself, where's my bed and my furniture? Why aren't my posters on the wall where they've been for years? Allison knew that it was her room, but nothing was the same. Against the wall, she quickly noticed a baby's crib, and on the other side of the room there was a playpen.

"Where are my things?" she asked Jordan, puzzled because she had just been in her room an hour ago, yet now it was completely changed.

"These are your things. Come with me," he said as he led her to the side of the crib.

Looking down into the crib, Allison could see a tiny little baby sleeping peacefully.

"Is that...?"

"Yes, that's you," he answered before Allison could finish her question.

"But how?" she asked, mouth agape, amazed at seeing herself as a baby.

"I've been given special powers to help open your eyes. Pretty cool, right?"

"Yes... very. So that's really me?"

"Yes, Allison, when you were six months old. Now watch this. Jordan reached down into the crib and tickled his finger beneath the baby's arm, causing her to stir and begin to cry. Minutes later, the door to the bedroom opened, and Allison's mother rushed in. Without hesitation, she reached into the crib and picked the baby up, cradling the little one in her arms.

"What's the matter with my baby? Did you have a bad dream?" Allison's mother asked, speaking in sing-song baby talk.

"Mom?" Allison asked. It looked like her mother, but she was so young. She was much thinner and her hair was long. The only time Allison had seen her mother look that way was in old family photos.

"She can't hear or see you," Jordan explained, smiling at what he was watching--a loving mother taking care of her baby girl.

The scene caused Allison to begin crying once again. A feeling of regret began to swell deep within her body. She began to realize that perhaps too often she had taken her mother's love for granted. The two of them watched her mother hold and softly pat baby Allison on the back. Minutes later, the baby was fast asleep, and Allison's mother placed her child back down in the baby bed. "Sleep good, little angel," she said, as she looked down, staring with intense, overflowing love.

"Come with me, Allison. Let's go see what your father is up to," Jordan said as he started walking toward the bedroom door, leaving mother and baby alone.

As the two of them walked into the living room, they saw her mother and father sitting on the floor about six feet apart. Allison's father was holding what looked like Allison when she was about one year old.

"I thought Mom was upstairs?" Confused, Allison scratched her head.

"She was upstairs, but now she's downstairs, and you're six months older."

"What are they doing?"

"Watch them for a minute."

Allison watched as her father raised her from his lap helping her place her feet on the floor. "Walk to Mommy, Allison."

Little Allison took two steps before falling back on her bottom on the floor.

"Yay," Allison's mother clapped her hands, offering words of encouragement.

Her father repositioned her as before and once again said, "Walk to Mommy."

"You can do it... come to Mommy." Her mother's words of excitement filled the room as little Allison walked halfway and then stopped. Her body swayed to the left and then to the right. She looked as though she was about to take another spill, but then she began walking again, this time making it all the way to her mother's arms.

"Good girl!" her father nearly shouted, full of pride after watching his little girl walk the farthest she ever had in one attempt.

The images of her mother, father, and little Allison faded away, leaving Jordan and Allison standing alone in the room.

"Turn on the television, Allison."

Allison walked to the coffee table to grab the remote control, clicking on the television as Jordan had instructed. She then sat down on the couch next to Jordan and said, "What... we're going to watch TV now?"

"Sure, why not?" Jordan replied as he reached out for the controls.

After Allison handed the remote over to him, he flipped through the channels until he spotted a woman walking a small girl to the front doors of a school.

"Hey, that's me!" Allison exclaimed. "I remember that day. It was my first day of school. I was so excited and didn't know what to expect. I remember my mother giving me a kiss and a hug before she sent me inside with one of the teachers."

"Exactly, but what you don't know is what happens next."

Allison's mother stood silently as she released Allison's hand and watched her daughter walk away with a teacher. Tears slowly rolled down her face. She was upset because she knew that her baby girl was growing up, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She had to accept the fact that many other mothers before her had accepted; her child would no longer be within arm's reach at every moment. Birds inevitably leave the nest.

"She was heartbroken the day you started school," Jordan whispered as he turned the television off.

Allison said nothing, her eyes still locked on the spot on the screen where her mother had been.

CHAPTER TWO

"Hey, how about we take a walk?" Jordan suggested as he stood up and offered his hand to Allison. They both walked through the living room to the patio doors. Outside, they found her father placing a small girl onto a bicycle; the training wheels lay to one side on the grass, freshly removed.

"Don't let go, Daddy," the cheery little girl said as her father began pushing her down the sidewalk toward his workshop, "Don't let go."

Allison watched herself pedal the bike while her father assisted until the momentum of the bike pulled her away from his hands.

"You're doing it, baby, you're doing it all by yourself!" The expression on his face was unmistakable; he was overjoyed and proud of his baby girl.

"I'm doing it, Daddy!" the excited girl proclaimed until the front tire reached the edge of the sidewalk and bounced down, causing Allison and her bike to fall over onto the grass. Before she could cry for help, her father was there, picking her off the ground.

"You did it, baby! You want to try again?" he asked before she could stop and think too long about her fall.

"Yes, Daddy! That was so much fun," she answered, her joy of accomplishment quickly overcoming the temporary pain of the fall.

Her father picked up the bicycle with one hand and scooped up his daughter with the other, carrying both back to the patio to start over. He placed the bike in the middle of the sidewalk and placed her back on the seat. Allison positioned her feet on the bike pedals.

"Are you ready, Ali?" her father asked.

"Yes, Daddy. One, two, three... go!" She began pedaling the bike with all her might as her father picked up the pace to follow her all the way to the workshop.

"There you go. You got it! Now, ride back by yourself. I'll help you get started."

With Allison still seated, her father turned the bike around and pointed the front wheel in the right direction. With a simple push on her back to get the wheels in motion, Allison was on her way back to the patio.

Jordan looked over at Allison and grinned. "You remember that day, don't you?"

"Yes, I think I was about six," Allison answered with pride.

"Five and a half, to be exact. That was just a few months after you started school."

"How can we be here watching this?" Allison asked, once again wondering about the legitimacy of what she was seeing.

"In order to see where you're going, you have to know where you've been," Jordan explained. "I know all of this is a bit much for someone your age to fully comprehend, but you must try."

Allison was raised by a stay-at-home mom and a hardworking father who provided for his family. They lived in a two-story home in a middle-class subdivision in the small town of Kaplan, Louisiana. Her father, David, was a consultant for a large construction company that built office buildings throughout the south. He was required to go away on business trips quite often, but he made it up to his family by spending all of his free time with them. While most men had hobbies to get away from it all, David's family was his hobby. He showered both Allison and Brooke, her mother, with gifts from every business trip he went on. David made it a point to take his family on annual vacations, traveling to places that many children only dreamed of. From beaches in Texas and Florida to major theme parks in the south, he always had a fresh adventure in the works.

David was tall with a stout build; his black hair seemed to fall into place naturally. Just the way he carried himself provided a sense of security for those around him.

"Let's go back inside," suggested Jordan, taking Allison by the hand and leading the way.

Allison felt a sense of anticipation as to what she would see next. The two of them walked into the living room where they found Brooke and Allison dusting the furniture together. Unlike when Allison and Jordan had been watching her in the bedroom earlier with the baby, Brooke was no longer as young as she once was, but she was still beautiful. Brooke had tied a handkerchief on top of Allison's head making her look like a cleaning lady. Both had dust rags in their hands, and Allison heard her mother saying, "Wipe from the back to the front and then return to the back for your next pass."

"I remember that. I was six years old when Mom started letting me help her dust the furniture. She would always give me a dollar when we were finished. Then she would say, 'If you're a hard worker, you'll always be rewarded.' Of course, I would always spend my dollar on candy or ice cream."

Jordan led Allison to the dining room where David, Brooke, and Allison were sitting around the table. There was what appeared to be an entire Thanksgiving meal on the table waiting to be eaten.

"Do you want to say grace, Ali?" her father asked after he had positioned his plate and fork in front of himself.

"Okay," she answered, reaching out a hand to each of her parents.

"Thank you, God, for the food you have given us. Thank you for keeping us safe and please say hello to grandma in Heaven for us. Amen." Allison always mentioned her Grandma Alice when saying grace. She'd been only three years old when her grandmother had died and didn't remember her much, except when looking at old photos her mother had in a photo book. She was Brooke's mother and had looked a lot like her when she was younger.

"Good job, Ali, now let's eat!" David said while reaching for the platter of turkey.

Allison and Jordan stood quietly next to the table watching the family enjoy their holiday meal as they talked to one another about different things.

Once again, Jordan took Allison by the hand and led her back upstairs to her parents' room. On the way upstairs, Allison noticed Christmas decorations beginning to appear. As though from out of nowhere, there they were! She looked at Jordan, and then back to the wall, as items began to appear with every step taken. A line of Christmas lights along the stairwell materialized before her eyes. Allison felt that nothing could surprise her at this point for Jordan seemed to possess incredible magical powers, given the strange review of her past to what was now happening in the transforming room.

The two of them walked into the room to find Brooke and eight-year-old Allison lying in bed watching classic Christmas cartoons.

"We've always done that... ever since I can remember."

"Close your eyes," Jordan instructed.

Once Allison's eyes were closed, he said, "Alright, you can open them now."

When Allison opened her eyes, she found herself looking at her mother watching the same cartoon with Allison who had shrunk back down to only one year old or so.

"Even that far back," remarked Jordan, as he offered Allison a closer look, both of them walking to the bedside to watch some of the cartoon.

Right in front of Allison, Brooke and baby Allison faded away. The old television vanished into thin air and was replaced by the television that she knew, the one that had been in the room that very morning when her mother had been getting ready for a dinner date with her father... on the fateful day she had chosen to kill herself. Jordan sat on the bed and patted his hand on the mattress beside him. "Sit with me."

Allison sat next to Jordan wondering if this was the end of whatever had been happening.

"When we first came in here, you were eight years old. Do you remember what started happening after that?"

"What do you mean?" she questioned, having no idea of what Jordan was talking about.

"That was when your body started to change. As with every young person, your body developed and changed in many ways that you couldn't control. You started to lose weight, but it wasn't anything you knew how to control at that age, so it just happened. Your parents loved you just the same, so much so that they didn't even realize they could have taken action by offering healthier eating habits or taken you to a dietitian. It's just typical for some people to gain or lose weight when they reach the start of puberty. However, that age is also when classmates can be total jerks. It's a known fact that some of the cruelest people on earth are children. Not just bullies either... kids who are not bullies also have the ability to run their mouths in ways that hurt other people without even realizing it. Some of the most common reasons are because someone is overweight, too short, too tall, too skinny, or just different from most other people. You name it, and some kid will find something to tease someone else with. For you, it started before you turned nine years old. It all started with Eddie Harper who first noticed that you were slightly underweight. Later on, I'll show you what young Mr. Harper's life is like in the future, but before we get sidetracked, let's go back outside. I want to show you something else."

Just as before, Allison followed Jordan downstairs. They returned outside to find her father working on his lawn mower out in the yard. Next to him was nine-year-old Allison sitting on the grass beside the mower.

"Baby, get me a crescent wrench off the table in the shop."

Most nine-year-olds wouldn't even know what a crescent wrench was, let alone a nine-year-old girl, but Allison did. She knew what the tool was because from an early age she'd enjoyed hanging around her dad while he fixed things. It was then that Allison remembered how her father used to sit her on the fender of the family vehicle while he worked on the car. She'd been only six when he'd started doing this and teaching her all about the most important tools. Allison watched as the nine-year-old version of herself ran to the shop and returned with the long, adjustable crescent wrench.

"Here you go, Daddy," she said as she handed the wrench to him, proud of her ability to help.

"Thank you," her father replied, before smearing grease on her nose from his dirty finger.

"Awwwww, why'd you do that, Daddy?" Allison asked after realizing what her father had done. At first, she thought he had just touched her on the nose, but then she saw the leftover grease on his finger. She lowered her eyes and crossed them in an effort to see the tip of her nose where she could just spy a large grease spot.

Laughing with Allison, David said, "Grease monkey makeup."

"So far, you've seen many of the good times you had up until age nine. However, we both know there were other times that were not so good for you. The times you were spanked or grounded for misbehaving. Those things happen in everyone's childhood. The process of experimenting with new ideas and actions are not always painless, but when you learn from your mistakes, you won't repeat them. Sometimes, you'll remember a lesson a lot longer if there was a spanking or punishment to go along with it. Now, let's go inside."

As the two of them walked through the doorway, Allison realized that she was no longer entering her house; she was walking into her old elementary school.

"But I thought we were at..."

"We were, but now it's time to visit another part of your past," Jordan said kindly before Allison could finish her sentence.

Jordan led the way down the quiet corridor as Allison looked to the right and left through the small windows on each door. She could clearly see that class was in session and the students inside each classroom were being taught that day's lesson. When they reached the room with Mrs. Pat's name on the door, the two of them walked in. There were all of her classmates from the third grade, sitting calmly and paying attention, all except one... Eddie Harper. He was sitting directly behind a nine-year-old Allison. Jordan stood directly beside the younger Allison and Eddie.

Allison could almost feel the jolt as she watched Eddie kick the back of her chair while the younger version of herself tried to concentrate on what Mrs. Pat was saying. It wasn't unusual for Eddie to kick his leg out and hit her chair. Sometimes he was seen by Mrs. Pat and would be reprimanded, but most of the time he didn't get caught. The other children sitting around them would softly laugh each time he kicked her chair and got away with it. That was where it had all started, the constant teasing and harassment by Eddie Harper. It was Eddie who had started calling her Ali Rat, a cruel play on her preferred nickname of Ali.

"Ali Rat, Ali Rat," Allison could hear Eddie teasing her on the playground. Had it been just a phase that Eddie was going through, it wouldn't have been so bad, but that wasn't the case. His constant verbal abuse caused others to act the same way toward Allison, which only helped tear down her self-esteem even further. Other boys began teasing her as well, and the girls seemed to notice, avoiding contact with her whenever they could.
CHAPTER THREE

Allison was raised in a home with abundant love and understanding, but when she left home, Allison was subjected to cruelty beyond what would have been tolerable for most.

Jordan spent what seemed like hours showing Allison events from her school years, from the many school dances that she'd missed because no one would ask her to attend, to the times that boys tripped her out in the playground just to see her fall. Just as Allison had cried when Jordan showed her those early years of life, she also cried several times while revisiting the cruelty she had lived through. She could have talked to someone, a teacher, counselor, or other faculty member, but she didn't really know how they could help. Instead, she kept everything bottled up inside and when she returned home from school, she'd put on a smile for her parents and act like her usual self. Jordan and Allison were standing in the lunchroom where they could see the young Allison sitting at a table with her tray. Although the lunchroom was almost filled to capacity, her table was empty. No one sat with her. In fact, two of the more popular girls opted to stand with their tray and eat standing up rather than join Allison at her table.

"Remember that one?" Jordan said, pointing toward Jamie Sellers, who was one of the girls standing up rather than sitting with Allison.

"I remember Jamie. She was really popular. I wanted to be like her so badly," Allison answered, admiring Jamie, who was only one year older than her.

The pair went outside and walked around the schoolyard. There were dozens of kids standing around that she recognized. The slow walk Jordan took with her revealed many different times when Allison had interacted with the other students. Some were good, but most others were unpleasant to relive. It seemed as though Allison had been forced into the role of a loner.

As Allison and Jordan walked toward the doors of the school, Allison noticed how the scenery changed from her elementary school to her junior high building. Jordan stopped without notice and turned toward the back of the building.

"What have we here?" asked Jordan as he led Allison to a group of kids standing near the brick wall of the building.

There was thirteen-year-old Allison standing with Gabriel, Alex, and Sheila. The four of them were passing around a single cigarette, continuously looking over their shoulders, keeping watch for any approaching staff members. The four of them were misfits who had created their own small group. None of them fit into any of the other so-called cliques in the school. They acted differently, dressed differently, and were treated differently. Allison wasn't in that group just to belong to something or to have a friend or two; she really liked those people. It was a much better situation than when she had been in elementary school with hardly any friends. The four of them were so very different, but they were also the same in many ways. Those friendships would only deepen over time.

"These were the kids who influenced you at the time. Look at them... they were just like you. All they wanted was to fit in," Jordan explained as he placed his hand on Allison's shoulder.

Allison knew that they each had their own issues. Gabriel was a bad boy, and a child who had been physically abused since early childhood. He was someone who bullied others because he had been raised to torment the weak, just as his father tormented him. Gabriel was the only kid in junior high who had a homemade tattoo. While Allison had thought it was pretty cool, most of the other kids in school thought he was poor white trash and avoided him like the plague.

Alex was the weaker of the two guys. He hung around the group so that Gabriel would protect him from other bullies; the fact that he belonged to something was better than being alone. His curly red hair, rather large ears, and freckles were targets for plenty of teasing, with kids particularly liking the nickname "Freckle Freak".

Sheila was quickly labeled a slut right out of elementary school. She wanted to fit in so badly that it wasn't long after being in junior high that she had sex for the first time. The first time led to others, which caused the boys to talk about how easy she was. The girls, on the other hand, truly hated Sheila because she was getting attention from their boyfriends. It took less than a year before everyone seemed to turn on her. Boys and girls were all calling Sheila a whore by the end of the year. Sheila also had sex with Gabriel, hoping to fit into their small group.

At thirteen, unlike Sheila, Allison used sound judgment when it involved sex at such an early age. Her mother had always been open with her when it came to talking about anything, even sex. Allison had always been told that sex outside of marriage was wrong because Brooke believed in the feminine innocence of the good old days, just as her mother had taught her. Even when it seemed like all the other kids were doing it, Allison remained true to her morals until her effort to save herself was ruined one evening after a terrible experience.

The four of them had been walking back from a street fair taking place in town one evening. Allison's parents had allowed her to go with the others as long as she promised to be back before dark. She had just turned fourteen, and David and Brooke were giving Allison a chance to earn their trust by going out and doing things. Halfway home, both Alex and Sheila had split from Gabriel and Allison to return to their own homes, which were a short distance away. As they only lived a block and a half from each other, Gabriel and Allison continued their walk back together.

"Let's stop and take a break," Gabriel suggested as the two of them reached the halfway point of the alley they were taking as a shortcut.

Allison went along with Gabriel's suggestion, and both of them sat on the ground with their backs against the wall of a metal building. Ten minutes passed before Allison said, "Well, we'd better get going. It's getting late, and my dad will kill me if I don't get home by dark."

The two of them began walking again, and then Gabriel told Allison he was going to cut between two of the buildings for an even shorter route to his house. With Gabriel gone and only a hundred or so feet to go before she exited the alley, Allison bumped into a high school dropout named Curtis Jenkins. Curtis was a tall, skinny kid who had to be at least seventeen by now. The rumor around school was that he was hooked on drugs and had been arrested several times for theft. When she realized that he was walking toward her, Allison changed direction slightly to walk on the opposite side of the street before she crossed paths with Curtis.

"Hey girl, where you going?" Curtis asked as he veered across the alley to meet up with her.

"Home," Allison answered, trying to avoid making eye contact with Curtis by tilting her head downward.

"Why are you going home?"

"I have to get back before curfew."

"What time is that?"

"I have to be home by dark."

"Oh, you have plenty of time. What's your name?"

"Allison."

"Hi, Allison, I'm Curtis."

"Hi."

"How old are you?"

"14."

"Are you still a virgin?" Curtis asked out of nowhere as though there was nothing strange about the question.

"I don't think that's any of your business," Allison answered firmly as she started walking away from Curtis, trying not to let her voice shake.

"You must be if you don't want to answer. What are you waiting for?"

"That's also none of your business. Now leave me alone."

"Why? You're missing out on so much fun," Curtis followed Allison closely as she tried to put some distance between the two of them by picking up her pace.

It was then that Curtis attacked Allison, grabbing her arm and tossing her to the ground. Within seconds, his hands were pulling at her shirt, and she could hear the material ripping. Her shirt tore at the bottom as he pulled it over her head. Curtis then started fumbling with her shorts. She tried with all of her might to fight him off, but he was too strong for her.

"NO! Stop it!" she demanded. "Please stop, I don't want you to do this to me!" she pleaded desperately.

"Shut up and make it easier for yourself," he replied as he forcibly ripped off her shorts.

Even though Allison told Curtis to stop several times, his intentions were clear and unstoppable. Allison experienced the worst pain of her life as Curtis stole her virginity right there in the alleyway.

"If you tell anyone about this, I'll just say that you wanted it, and then I'll come looking for you. I've heard about you, Ali Rat." Even Curtis knew her nickname and must have known who she was from the start. This was one of the drawbacks to being from a small town... everyone knew everyone.

Not only was Allison violated in the worst way, but she also felt betrayed because one of the few people she trusted had left her vulnerable. Gabriel had left her in the alley, and she couldn't help but instantly blame him for what had just happened to her. Without another word, Curtis walked away from her as she crumpled into a ball and cried.

Allison stayed where she was for several minutes trying to straighten out her clothes and regain her composure. The feeling of being violated originated from deep within the depths of her soul. Allison was afraid to go home, but also afraid to stay where she was in case Curtis returned.

Without the strength to make it to her house in time, Allison's gather grounded her for a month the minute she walked into the house. She was too ashamed and afraid to tell her parents what had happened to her in that deserted alley. She went directly upstairs for a shower after her father's long lecture on trust and adhering to the house rules.

"That was something no one should ever have to go through," stated Jordan as he tried to bring Allison back to reality from her painful recollections.

Allison's tears flowed freely down her cheeks, and Jordan offered her his handkerchief to wipe her face dry. "I understand that this experience was very emotional for you, just as it would have been for anyone else."

"That was a terrible day. The worst day in my life, in fact. It's part of the reason why I wanted to just end it all."

"I know, but do you want to know something?"

"Sure."

"You would have recovered from the whole ordeal. You never get over something like that, but you would have learned to live with the memory and move on with your life."

"But how?" Allison asked, her tone clearly betraying her uncertainty.

"By getting the help you need and by not being afraid of Curtis, or anyone else, for that matter. There is only one time when it's too late to get help, and I came to you just seconds before that moment arrived. There is one thing I learned from the day I killed myself and after working with so many who were about to meet with the same fate: suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I truly believe that. It may be too late for me, but it's not too late for you, Allison."

"But that would have meant telling my parents what happened, and eventually, everyone at school would have known too."

"And why is that so bad? Your parents love you unconditionally and only want what's best for you. As for how other children at school feel, who cares about them? Let's face it, after school is over, you'll never see most of those people again. The ones that you do see will have matured and gotten over whatever hang-ups they had as children. Come..."

Allison and Jordan were suddenly sitting in her living room. Allison's mind was racing, thinking about how incredible their time-traveling journey had been. Jordan reached toward the coffee table and grabbed the remote control for the television. With the press of a single button, the channel he wanted was now on the screen.

"You see that guy on the screen? Pretty pathetic, isn't he? He's been in and out of jail since he was seventeen. At only twenty-six years old, he calls dumpsters around town his home. Do you know who he is?"

"No, not really. He looks familiar, but I don't think I know him."

"This is none other than Eddie Harper."

"No way... that can't be Eddie!"

"Can and is. It seems that things didn't work out too well for young Mr. Harper. One big reason why life didn't turn out so well for Eddie is because he was riddled with guilt about how he treated you." With the remote control still in his hand, Jordan changed the channel again.

"How about her? Do you recognize her at all?"

"No."

"That, my friend, is Jamie Sellers. She was popular all through high school alright, at least until senior year when she got pregnant by Steven Ross. However, Steven had other plans than staying in a small town to raise a child. After high school graduation, he went on to college in Atlanta, leaving Jamie to fend for herself and their child. Jamie had to rely on her parents and public assistance to get by. In the process, she had two other children before twenty-eight, which is how old she is right there."

"I never thought she would be overweight. Wow, she really let herself go," Allison said, amazed by Jamie's transformation.

"People constantly change. Sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worse. Just remember, most changes are a direct result of our own decisions. When you started losing weight at an early age, you didn't know any better. As you age, you'll learn how to eat properly and exercise. Your body will be how you want it to be, if you give yourself a chance to reach that point."
CHAPTER FOUR

"What about Sheila, Gabriel, and Alex? Can you show me them?"

"Alright."

With the press of a button on the remote, Allison was suddenly watching a nineteen-year-old Gabriel sitting in a college auditorium listening to a lecturing professor. The lecture was about information security.

"Gabriel goes to college?" Allison asked, feeling surprisingly proud of her friend.

"Yes, Gabriel goes to college for four years and then opens his own computer repair business in another city."

"Does he ever get married or have a family?"

"No, he'll go through life single. Sure, he'll date several women, but will never be married or have a family. Of course, it will all be by his choice to stay that way."

"If he moves away, does he stay in contact with Alex and Sheila?"

"Yes, they will remain friends throughout their lives. In an effort to save time, I'll tell you that Gabriel will be a successful businessman until retirement and then spend his retirement traveling."

"It's amazing how he turned his life around."

"Yes, he did very well for himself. Now, look at these two," Jordan said after switching the channel to Alex and Sheila.

The first scene was of Alex and Sheila getting married. Gabriel was the best man at their wedding.

"Oh my God! Sheila married Alex?" Although shocked by what she was watching, Allison was also very happy for her two friends.

"Yes, they started dating during senior year."

"I'm glad that Gabriel was the best man. I guess they all helped each other make it out of their school years."

"Oh yes, and they remain close friends. You would have been the Maid of Honor had you been alive."

Trying to avoid the subject, Allison didn't reply. "Wow, they have children too?"

"Yes, a boy and a girl. They named their son Justin and their daughter Allison."

"Allison?"

"Yes, after you. All three of your friends loved you very much."

"Well, I'm happy they turned out alright."

"Yes, they did, after they came to grips with what you did to yourself."

"Did I really matter that much to them?"

"Of course you did! You meant more than you'll ever know, not only to them, but also to so many others. Going back to Eddie, why do you think he turned out the way he did? After your death, Eddie was consumed with guilt because of how he treated you. It was because of your letter... because you wrote that one of the reasons you killed yourself was because all the kids at school hated you, or at least that's how you felt."

"That's the way it seemed. Like you said before, people can be cruel."

"What I said was some of the cruelest people are children. As adults, most people learn that their words can and do hurt so they respect others and avoid saying cruel things."

"I guess that makes sense."

"Go and look out that window," Jordan instructed as he pointed to the kitchen window overlooking the backyard.

Allison stood up from her seated position and walked to the window. She opened the curtain before asking, "What am I supposed to be looking at?"

"Just watch," Jordan answered, remaining on the couch.

Allison stood there at the window for several minutes before she saw herself exit her father's workshop. She walked to the side of the shop and grabbed the ladder leaning against the side. She set the ladder up under the tree and returned to the workshop, where she went inside before emerging with the rope. Allison watched as she tied the rope to the tree and returned the ladder to its rightful place.

"You want me to watch me kill myself?"

"Yes. After all, it's why we're here, isn't it?"

She watched herself go inside the shop for the smaller stepladder and then move through the process of cutting the rope and returning the excess to the shop. Allison stared as her other self climbed to the top of the stepladder to tie the noose and then slipped the rope around her neck. She rocked back and forth until the stepladder fell to the ground below her.

With a single tear rolling down her face, Allison gazed into her own face as it turned blue, hanging limply from the tree. She kicked her legs in a final effort to retrieve the stepladder in an effort to save herself. Moments later, her lifeless body hung motionless.

"Am I dead?" Allison asked, turning to Jordan for an answer.

"Under the tree you are."

Allison thought for a minute. She still didn't have a handle on what exactly was going on between Jordan and herself. Then she asked, "As I look at myself hanging from the tree, I have to ask... what is real? Do I survive or is all of this just an illusion?"

"That will be up to you. First, you need to see the result of your actions. Just stay where you are. Watch."

"Why didn't I see you save me? Isn't that what really happened?"

"What you just watched is what would happen without my intervention."

Allison happened to notice the time on her grandmother's antique clock as her head turned back to the window. It was exactly 4:45 pm. She continued to watch herself hanging there for what only seemed like minutes when the clock began to chime – seven times. The noise caused Allison to turn her head and check the time again. It was now 7:00 pm, and Allison's attention flew to the front door where she could hear someone attempting to unlock the door. The door opened abruptly as her mother walked into the house.

"Allison? Allison, honey... we're home," Brooke called out as she walked into the kitchen to drop her purse on the counter. Allison's father entered the house soon after.

"Allison? That kid... I bet she's upstairs in her room on that darn computer again," Brooke said over her shoulder to David as she walked into the living room.

"I'll go and check on her," David replied as he headed upstairs.

Allison's mother walked through the living room before going to the patio doors where she slid one door to the side and passed through. Allison saw her mother scan the right side of the backyard and then sweep back to the left, obviously looking for something or someone. The instant her mother's eyes reached the silhouette of a body hanging from the tree, she dropped to her knees and collapsed to the ground. Screaming and crying inconsolably, she could be heard throughout the house, quickly drawing the attention of Allison's father who was now walking down the stairs.

David came running the instant he heard Brooke screaming. He quickly found her where she had fallen, but as he made his way to her to see what had happened, he too saw the gently swinging shape of his daughter from the tree. He charged out blindly toward Allison, leaving his wife on the ground. "Oh my God, baby! What have you done?" he shouted at the lifeless form hanging there.

David positioned the stepladder under Allison and quickly climbed each rung until he could reach his daughter's chest. Taking her into his arms and lifting her body upward, he yelled to his wife, "Call 911!"

"Make it stop, please... I don't want to see this," Allison begged Jordan as she watched the whole painful scenario play out.

"You have to see this, Allison," Jordan answered, his face displayed an intense amount of sympathy for Allison in that moment.

"Allison baby, Daddy's going to help you," David said as he loosened the knot and slipped the rope from around her neck. As her weight shifted when being freed from the rope, it caused both of them to fall to the ground where they landed side by side. Her father quickly recovered from the fall and began a panicked version of CPR on his daughter. Allison watched him pause and press his hand against his own chest. She could see that it took everything he had to continue until paramedics arrived twenty minutes later.

Two paramedics ran through the house into the backyard to take over the life-saving efforts from her father. They worked on Allison for several minutes before one of them stood up and shook his head. "I'm sorry... she's gone."

Still on his knees, David broke down. He took Allison's stiff body into his arms and cried. Brooke joined him in the embrace, feeling her daughter's cold skin for the first time.

"I can't believe you are gone. I won't..." she cried.

Jordan watched as rivers of tears flowed down Allison's face while she witnessed how the whole scene affected her parents. He didn't say a word. He wanted Allison to feel exactly what she was feeling at that very moment. Allison's parents remained beside her until the coroner arrived some forty minutes later.

"We need to take her now," said Mr. Cedric LaFlour, the Vermilion Parish coroner, as he approached the couple and their daughter. His white coat was stained from the day's work.

"No, please don't take my baby," Allison's mother pleaded, pushing Mr. LaFlour's hand away from her daughter's body.

"Ma'am, I'm terribly sorry for your loss, but there is nothing more we can do here."

"Not my baby. Don't take my baby," she begged, sobbing.

Meanwhile, as Brooke attempted to delay Allison's removal, David tried to make sense of it all and come to grips with the fact that Allison was dead and that the coroner needed to take her to the Parish morgue for processing.

Allison watched as her father eventually pulled her mother away from her body. He needed to physically lift Brooke off the ground and carry her inside. He placed her on the couch right next to where Jordan sat. Allison wanted to help her mother somehow. She walked toward her and reached out, but her arms passed right through her body.

"You can't touch her. You can't help her. You can only see what you've done to her," Jordan explained, knowing what the cruel scene was doing to Allison.

"Mr. Perkins, can I see you outside for a moment?" asked one of the police officers who had answered the call.

"Yes, of course... just a second," he answered. David turned to Brooke and said, "Honey, I need to step out for a minute. Will you be alright?"

Allison's mother waved him off without saying a word. With her face planted firmly in her hands, she cried, shedding more tears than Allison had ever seen before.

In the next blink of her eye, the morning sun of a new day beamed through the curtains. David and Brooke were both sitting on the couch. David's arm hung over Brooke's shoulder, holding her tight. Still, she cried loudly into his chest. Jordan and Allison then observed the couple as they went through the process of arranging Allison's funeral.

***

The following day, Allison's body was released from the coroner's office and transported to the funeral home where services were to be held. David and Brooke arrived at 3:15 pm to make the final arrangements.

"I'm not sure I can do this, David," Brooke confessed as they walked through the doors. The cool air from inside the building brushed against their skin. The familiar scent of disinfectant filled their noses as they approached the office.

"We're doing this together, honey," David answered, offering his arm to Brooke.

"Mr. and Mrs. Perkins, I presume?" An older gentleman wearing a well-tailored black and grey striped suit and tie strode forward to greet the couple.

"Yes sir, I'm David and this is my wife, Brooke."

"I am Darrell Guidry, funeral director here at Guidry and Adams." Mr. Guidry shook each of their hands. His handshake was unlike a normal business meeting gesture. His grip was more of a soft, lingering grasp that was meant to offer support and understanding. "Please, have a seat. Allow me to start by offering my condolences and deepest sympathy."

Allison and Jordan saw that most of the conversation was between David and Guidry. Brooke sat quietly shaking her head, trying and occasionally failing to hold back a flood of tears.

After going through the necessary paperwork, Guidry led David and Brooke to a back room where the funeral home displayed their available caskets.

"If you don't see one here that is to your liking, we can go through our catalog for other options. We can normally have them delivered within two business days," Guidry went on as he gave the couple time to browse the displays.

Brooke stopped at each casket, looking at them very closely, even running her hand over the material on the inside.

After closely inspecting each casket, Brooke turned to David and softly asked, "What do you think about this one?" She returned to one particular model with a medium-gray exterior and chrome hardware. The interior was lined with a light gray satin fabric.

"If that's the one you want, we'll get it."

"I think so."

"We'll take this one, Mr. Guidry," David said before taking Brooke by the hand and leading her out of the room.

"Very well, sir," Guidry said as he followed the couple out of the display room.

The three of them returned to the office where David and Brooke finalized the service details.

"Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. No parent should ever have to bury their child. If there is anything I can do, please don't hesitate to notify me."

"Thank you," David answered before offering his hand to Mr. Guidry.

David and Brooke returned home where they spent the evening comforting each other, but sleeping very little.

During the following day, David and Brooke arrived at the funeral home before any visitors. Services were due to begin at 1:00 pm. Brooke stood next to the casket looking down at Allison, while David handled some last-minute preparations in the office.

"Why did you do this to yourself?" she asked, looking down at her daughter. "There was nothing that we couldn't have gotten through. If only you had come to me or your dad. My baby, I'm going to miss you so much. You're taking my heart with you. Hold it close, my little angel."

When visitors and mourners were finally allowed to enter, Allison watched family members come and pay their last respects throughout the afternoon. There were some who stayed for minutes, while others stayed for hours. Many of them stood next to the casket, speaking softly, and often asking, Why?

No one could understand the path that she had chosen. It was 2:40 pm when something happened that surprised even Allison. A number of students she recognized from her school began entering the funeral parlor. It was before the end of a normal school day, but students were lined up outside the door.

Allison watched as students began walking up to the casket one at a time.

"I'm so sorry for always messing with you," Eddie Harper whispered as he paused in front of the casket, his hands clasped together.

Several other students acknowledged that they should have tried harder to be friends with Allison. Gabriel, Alex, and Sheila stood beside the casket the longest. Allison wasn't surprised to see Alex and Sheila cry, but she never expected Gabriel to weep so openly. He reached into the casket, taking Allison's hand in his, and began to cry uncontrollably.

"Allison, do you realize how many people you've actually touched in your life? Even some people who never acknowledged you. Life can be like that... we can affect others that we come in contact with just because of who we are, if for no other reason than that," Jordan explained to Allison, who stood a few feet from her own casket.

"No, I guess I never realized that. How could I?"

"I suppose you have a point, but sometimes you have to believe that bad situations will improve. Everyone goes through hard times and sometimes it may seem that life is not worth living, but trust me, it is. Life is too short to throw any of it away, Allison."

Allison and Jordan rode in the limousine with David and Brooke; over thirty vehicles followed. The procession was escorted by local police who blocked traffic along the route to a church for a final goodbye in the Lord's house. From Highway 14, the procession turned left on Church Street and then proceeded down several blocks until it arrived at the Catholic church.

Allison's casket was removed from the hearse by Gabriel, Alex, and four relatives who carried her to the doors of the church. There, she was placed on a casket cart before being rolled down the aisle as people were being seated.

"Good afternoon. I want to thank each of you for being here today. Your presence means a lot to Allison's family and so do your prayers.

"Matthew 13:24-30, He put before them another parable: 'The kingdom of heaven may be compared to someone who sowed good seed in his field; but while everybody was asleep, an enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and then went away. So when the plants came up and bore grain, then the weeds appeared as well. And the slaves of the householder came and said to him, 'Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? Where, then, did these weeds come from?' He answered, 'An enemy has done this.' The slaves said to him, 'Then do you want us to go and gather them?' But he replied, 'No; for in gathering the weeds you would uproot the' wheat along with them. Let both of them grow together until the harvest; and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, Collect the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn.'"

Jordan turned to Allison and said, "A very fitting sermon indeed."

"How so? What does it mean?" asked Allison, looking around at all the people in attendance.

"When he says, an enemy has done this, he is referring to the enemy being depression, whereas the wheat is your life as it is supposed to be, and the weeds are your troubles within. The difference between what was planted and what was not, who a person is, and what bad things have happened to them."

"I think I understand," Allison answered, her eyes now fixed on her mother. Brooke stared into space, tears streaming down her face.

Following the service, Allison's body was loaded back onto the hearse and the procession continued to their final destination – the cemetery on the outskirts of town. After arriving, she was taken to her final resting place. Allison watched as several more prayers were said, followed by the conclusion of the service. People started walking away, leaving everyone but David and Brooke. They stood there together for over an hour, not wanting to leave their daughter.

It wasn't until several workers arrived to lower the casket and close the tomb that her parents slowly walked away. Brooke was crying and looked back over her shoulder every few steps as the men worked.

When the workers were finished sealing the tomb, they too walked away.

"This is your final resting place. Allison, this is your forever. Do you see how permanent suicide is?"

"Yes, I do," Allison answered, beginning to feel truly ashamed by the decision she had made.
CHAPTER FIVE

The funeral was instantly an event of the past, as was all the immediate heartbreak left in the wake of Allison's death. For what only seemed like a second, Allison fought for breath. With Jordan no longer by her side, surrounded by darkness, she felt an unusual tightening around her neck, and she couldn't understand what was going on.

Jordan?" she cried out between gasps, her body feeling a weakness she had never felt before.

"I'm here," he answered. His words brought new life to her as her breathing leveled out and her lungs began to expand once again.

"Where did you go?"

"It doesn't matter. I'm here now."

"Why was it hard to catch my breath? Why did my neck begin to hurt?"

"That may have happened because I wasn't in your presence."

"Well, don't leave me again... that scared me."

"But I will have to leave you soon, Allison. My time here is coming to an end, but before it does, I want to show you one more thing."

Jordan took Allison by the hand and in the blink of an eye, they were standing together in Allison's bedroom. They weren't alone. Brooke was sitting on Allison's bed holding her teddy bear and crying into its chest. The furry material was soaked with her tears. Allison watched as her mother lifted her head from the bear, her eyes red and eyelids puffy, as if she had been crying all day. Aside from Brooke's crying, the entire house was deathly quiet. An eerie feeling came over Allison as she turned to Jordan and asked, "She will get better in time, won't she?" Allison actually thought they were in a time at some point after the funeral.

"I'm sure she will, in time, but your funeral was a year ago."

"A year ago?" Allison asked, astonished at the passing of time, coupled with the power of her mother's emotions.

"She will be this way for years to come."

"What happened in that whole year?"

"Pretty much what you're looking at now; you were her life, and without you, she was left with a major void. Can you imagine, in the past year, even your mother has contemplated suicide just to be with you again?"

"Why would she do something like that? She has my dad."

"Why would you do something like that? You had your mom and dad." Jordan's answer was quick and uncharacteristically stern.

"I see your point."

"We've reached the point where we should talk about your future. Unlike your past and present, I cannot show you your future for that would interfere with any outcome."

"How so? How could seeing my future interfere with the way it happens?"

"Don't you think it would be a spoiler to see exactly what your husband will look like?"

"Husband? I'll get married? I would never have thought someone would want to marry me."

"No matter how long it takes, there is someone out there for everyone. It takes patience for someone to wait for that special person to come into their lives."

"Do my parents ever find out about me wanting to kill myself?"

"Not if you don't tell them. That choice will be yours, Allison."

"What else can you tell me about my future?"

"You will also attend college. You'll receive a degree in teaching from the University of Lafayette and will end up working in a nearby school."

"I never thought about going to college before."

"But you will. You've thought about being a teacher, and to do that, you'll need college."

"What about my mom and dad?"

"They'll be fine. Your father will continue working until retirement, and your mother will babysit your children while you work."

"Children, too?" Allison's excitement was evident by her expression when asking the question.

"Yes. When all is said and done, you'll have three."

"Oh my God!"

"You would have turned out just fine, Allison."

"What about...?"

"Trust me, you would have been fine. You don't want to know any more about your future. Just know that everything would have worked out for you," Jordan interrupted Allison before she could ask another question.

"If you won't show me my future and you think I've heard enough, then where do we go from here?"

"Let's go back downstairs."

The pair walked downstairs and Jordan led the way outside into the backyard. They passed the stepladder and as Jordan looked at the noose that was hanging in waiting, he said, "The choice is yours, Allison." With those words, Jordan bent down and placed a single kiss on Allison's forehead.

"But..."

Before Allison could say anything else, Jordan was gone, as if he had disappeared into thin air. There was no sign of him. Allison looked around the yard and then up at the noose. She thought about everything Jordan had shown her and everything she had been through. Allison climbed each rung of the stepladder and took the noose into her hand.

She opened the loop wider, wide enough to slip over her head before loosening the knot that created it. Allison climbed down the stepladder and returned it to the shop. She then placed the six-rung ladder under the tree, untied the rope from the tree, and placed it on the ground. Allison returned the ladder to its rightful place before returning for the rope. After coiling the rope in a neat circle, Allison thought, 'Daddy's going to kill me... I cut his rope.'

"No, he won't," a voice from nowhere whispered. It sounded just like Jordan's voice, only further away.

Allison looked up into the sky, smiled, and returned the rope to the workshop. Then, she headed back inside to take care of the laundry. She waited in the living room until her parents returned. At exactly 7:00 pm, the front door opened and in walked her mother.

"Allison? Allison, honey, we're home," Brooke called out as she walked into the kitchen to drop her purse on the counter. Allison's father entered the house soon after.

"In here, Mom," Allison answered from the living room.

Allison went to meet her mother in the kitchen and the first thing she did was wrap her in a hug and say, "I love you, Mom."

Confused by Allison's sudden burst of emotion, Brooke squeezed Allison tightly and replied, "I love you too, baby."

Her words caused Allison to begin crying, which is what prompted Brooke to ask, "What's the matter?"

"Can we talk? Just you and me?" Allison asked, trying to talk between gasps. She wasn't quite ready to talk to anyone else about what had happened to her and she surely wasn't comfortable telling her father.

"Sure, baby... Let me go tell your dad to give us a few minutes alone, and we can go sit on the patio." Brooke went and spoke to David, who was in the living room watching television, and returned a few minutes later.

Brooke and Allison walked outside and sat around the patio table. There was an extended silence, before Brooke asked, "What's wrong, baby?"

"I don't really know how to say this except to just tell you, but do you remember that day I was late for my curfew?"

"Yes."

"Mom, I was late because I was attacked in an alley." Allison began crying once again before she could even finish her sentence.

"Attacked? How were you attacked?"

"I was raped, Mom."

Brooke's jaw dropped in disbelief, and she also began crying. She rose and took her daughter in her arms. As they cried together, Brooke didn't speak, allowing time for what Allison had told her to sink in.

"Why did you wait so long to say something? You know that you can tell me anything!"

"I thought I could deal with it, but I can't. I keep having nightmares, and they won't go away."

"I'm so sorry, baby. We have to tell your father...you know that, right?"

"Yes, Mama, but can you tell him?"

"If that's what you want."

"Yes, please. I'm too embarrassed to tell him."

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about, baby. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Can you tell him tonight after I go to bed?"

"Yes. Of course."

Allison had no idea how her father was going to take the news. She didn't even know how her mother would tell him. Allison also hadn't expected the conversation with her mother to go so well. Even though it had happened months ago, her mother was surprisingly calm and understanding, considering what the news was.

Soon after, Allison went back inside the house with her mother following close behind. She went directly upstairs to take a shower and went to bed. She figured that if she stayed downstairs, her father would eventually ask what was going on. It was only 9:00 pm, earlier than her normal 10:00 pm bedtime. At just past 10:30, Allison heard her bedroom door open. It made that same telltale squeak it always had. By that time, she was all tucked in and ready to sleep, but sleeping and being ready to sleep were two very different things as her mind continued to race. She pretended to be asleep when her father approached. Allison listened to the footsteps on the floor. She knew that it was her father by the sound of every step. With her face exposed and eyes closed tightly, Allison prepared herself for whatever he was going to say. After all, why else would he be coming to her room? Allison was sure that her mom had told him by now.

David didn't say a word; instead, he lowered his head and kissed Allison on her cheek. She heard her father sniff inwardly as if he were sick or crying. Tears built up behind her eyelids as she felt her father looking down at her. Allison could feel his stare as she fought to contain the droplets behind her eyelids. A moment later, before any tear could escape, Allison heard the footsteps walk away. Allison opened her eyes, allowing the tears to finally roll down her cheeks. She too sniffed softly as she wiped her eyes with her sleeve. She'd never expected that from her father. Without a word being spoken, he had shown his daughter more understanding and compassion than words could ever describe.
CHAPTER SIX

The following morning, Allison walked downstairs to the smell of bacon cooking for breakfast.

"Good morning, baby," Brooke said as Allison walked into the kitchen.

"Good morning, Mom. Did Daddy go to work? Do I have to go to school today?"

"No, he's going to talk to a lawyer."

"Why?"

"Baby, we have to find out who did this to you and hold them responsible for their crime. If we do nothing, what's to stop him from doing that to someone else? Do you understand why we have to do something?"

Allison thought for a minute and realized that what her mother was saying was true. "It was a boy named Curtis Jenkins, Mom."

"You know who it was?!" she asked, her voice rising in surprise.

"I had heard about him and seen him around before he dropped out of school."

"I'm going to call your father and tell him. Meanwhile, eat your breakfast. Later this morning, you and I will go to the doctor to have you checked out, and then I'll bring you to talk to a rape counselor. You don't have to go through this alone. Not only are your father and I here for you, but we'll also get you whatever kind of help we can."

"So I don't have to go to school?"

"No, not today. You can go back on Monday."

Allison automatically thought of what Jordan had told her. He was right; all she had to do was talk... to tell someone what had happened to her.

"Hey Mom, how did Dad take it?"

"Better than I expected, but I think if he had known who did that to you and knew where to find him, he would probably be in jail right now."

They first visited the clinic where Allison went through a series of tests for STDs and pregnancy, followed by a physical exam, which was very uncomfortable. After everything checked out okay at the clinic, Brooke drove Allison to Lafayette, the closest place where she could see a rape counselor.

"Do we have to do this, Mom?" Allison was having second thoughts about having to tell a stranger what had happened to her.

"Yes, baby, it's best to get professional help. They'll be able to guide you while you recover and get past this. I know it won't be easy, but it's for the best. They've been trained to work with victims like you."

"Okay, Mom." Allison did understand the need, but she was still a bit apprehensive about going inside once they arrived.

Brooke somehow sensed her feelings, maybe from the expression on her face, and she offered her hand to comfort Allison as they walked into the building together.

"Hello, I'm Patricia. It's nice to meet you both," said the woman with short curly hair who met the two of them in the lobby. She wore a peach-colored blouse with a matching skirt that fell just below her knees.

"I'm Brooke and this is my daughter, Allison."

"Hello Allison. Please, come inside and have a seat." Patricia held out her hand as if to show them the way into her office.

Patricia was aware of the situation with Allison since Brooke had briefly explained everything to her over the phone before they had left home.

"Brooke, if you don't mind, I'd like to talk to Allison alone for a few minutes." Patricia knew that going over certain details about what happened might make Allison uncomfortable if her mother was still in the room. She wanted to create a setting that allowed Allison to open up to her as much as possible.

"Sure, I'll be right outside."

Patricia closed the door and offered Allison a seat at the table which sat in the center of the room. Allison looked around at the office; the walls were painted in soft pastel colors, and on the wall behind Patricia's desk were three separate certificates – one was from the University of Louisiana.

"Tell me about yourself, Allison." Patricia started the conversation by trying to establish a bond with her newest patient. Her intent was to respond to some of Allison's answers with her own life experiences. They exchanged laughs a few times as they shared stories from each of their childhoods.

"Are you comfortable telling me what happened on the day you were attacked?"

Following a brief hesitation, Allison answered, "Sure."

Allison started telling her story from the time that she and her friends began their walk home from the street fair. She described every detail from the moment she first noticed Curtis walking in the alley, even including how she crossed the road to avoid him. When Allison described the attack itself, tears flowed from her eyes. Patricia reached out her hand, stretching her arm across the table, and taking Allison's hand in her own as she continued her story.

After an hour and forty minutes, Allison walked out of the office to tell her mother that Patricia wanted to speak with her. Brooke and Allison came back into the office and sat at the table with Patricia.

"Your daughter has been through a very traumatic experience, and I'd like to set up a program tailored to help her get through this. She has already started to heal and one important part of the healing process is communication. We all need to listen to Allison while she deals with the different emotions of rape. Regret, despair, self-blame, and a feeling of hopelessness are only a few of the many feelings someone will go through during the healing process. Another, in some cases, might be suicidal thoughts. We briefly talked about certain suicidal tendencies that she was having prior to talking to you about what happened to her. I've determined that although I feel that she will be okay in that regard, we will continue to speak regularly and reinforce the healing process with compassion and understanding. I think it would be good to meet once a week for the first month, and if everything is going well, we can go to every other week until we can drop it down to once a month," Patricia explained, gently holding Allison's hand.

"Whatever you feel is best is what we'll do," Brooke answered before they were escorted to the front desk to schedule Allison's next appointment.

As the three said goodbye, Patricia gave Allison a parting hug and turned to Brooke for the same. As she hugged Brooke, she whispered in her ear, "She'll be just fine. Give her time and allow her to talk about things when she's ready. Oh, and tell her father not to be too mad about his rope. It sure beats the alternative."

Brooke was puzzled about the rope comment until she thought back to what Patricia had said inside her office about suicidal thoughts. Although she felt her heart sink down into her stomach, she managed to maintain her composure as they walked to the car. The two of them headed home where they had decided to cook dinner together that night.

Allison had a weird feeling inside when she thought about facing her father for the first time since he had been told about what had happened to her.

The ride home was a quiet one with Brooke not wanting to upset Allison by talking about her visit with Patricia. Allison just sat there deep in thought, gazing out of the window.

Until the time came to start cooking dinner, Allison played on her cell phone while Brooke lounged around the living room.

Hours later, David walked in, saying, "I'm home! Where are my girls?"

"I'm the kitchen," Brooke answered while stirring a pot of chili.

David walked up to Brooke and laid a kiss on her cheek before walking into the living room where he found Allison to give her a hug.

"Are you alright, baby?" His voice was soft and broken.

"I'm fine, Daddy."

With a final squeeze, David released his embrace and stepped back from her. Allison saw him bring his hand to his face, rubbing his finger just below his eye.

"How did it go today?" asked Brooke from the kitchen, as she placed the lid on a pot.

As David walked the short distance to the kitchen, Allison followed close behind, curious to hear the latest news.

"It went alright. It seems like they are getting the investigation together," he said, and then noticed Allison right behind him. David turned to her and said, "The police will need a statement from you before they can arrest this Curtis guy for what he did. Although they say that it will more than likely be your word against his, due to a lack of evidence, they'll try to get a confession from him."

"What kind of statement?"

"A statement that tells your side of the story. All you have to do is write down everything that happened that day. I know it'll be hard for you to do, but if they're going to build a case against this animal, then they'll need this from you."

"Everything?" Just the thought of having to write all of that down created an uneasy feeling inside of her stomach.

"I'm sorry, but yes, everything that you can remember." As David looked at her, his expression was one of helplessness and empathy.

"Alright, I'm gonna try."

"You'll do fine, sweetie. We'll go and see a detective in the morning; he'll be waiting on us."

During and after dinner, no one spoke of the incident again or about the appointment earlier that day. Allison was sure that her mother would tell her dad what needed to be said when they were alone. Allison fell asleep on the couch that night, while her parents watched television in their bedroom.

The next morning, as discussed, Allison sat staring at the plain clock hanging on the wall of the police station. The office was smaller than the size of their living room with two old metal desks and worn swivel chairs. The cinder block walls were painted a dull grayish color, giving the whole interior of the building an institutional look.

"I'm glad you could both come in this morning. I'm Detective Riley. I apologize for having to put you through this, but I'll need to get a statement from you, in your own words, explaining everything that happened on the day of the alleged crime. Once we are finished with your statement, I have scheduled a lineup in order to verify that you know exactly who your attacker was. Do you have any questions, Allison?" The detective, who was wearing a dark suit, sat next to Allison with a legal notepad and pen. His hair was combed back and his smile was forced. He seemed to offer a mixture of business and politeness, while still getting right to the point.

"Yes sir, I understand."

"Great, then you can get started. Take your time and write exactly what you remember," he said as he pushed the pad and pen in front of Allison. Her father sat across from them, watching his daughter who looked so grown up, handling everything without hesitation.

Only fifteen minutes had gone by when Allison pushed the notepad over to Detective Riley. "That's everything," she said as she placed the pen on the desk.

He read over everything and said, "Very well. You seem to have a very good memory of what happened, which will help us. Come with me, please."

The detective led Allison into another office, even smaller than the first, which had only a single desk and a large mirror on the wall.

"Allison, this is a two-way mirror. In a minute, there will be five males escorted into that room. They will not be able to see or hear you. All you have to do is point out the one you recognize as your attacker. Do you have any questions?"

"No sir," Allison answered as she looked through the glass of the two-way mirror.

Minutes later, just as the detective stated, a door opened and five young men entered the room. Of the five, Allison could only recognize one.

"That's him, the third one from the right." Allison pointed directly at Curtis Jenkins.

"I would like to thank you for coming forward. You are a brave young woman, Ms. Perkins. That's all I will need for now. If we need anything else from you, I'll be sure to call."

By the following Monday afternoon, word had gotten out that Curtis had been arrested and was charged with rape. At first, there was no name connected to the talk, but all that changed before school let out. By the last bell, word was circulating that he had raped Allison. Again, a lack of privacy was one of the major drawbacks to living in a small town like Kaplan.

So much for privacy, thought Allison as she walked out of school. Kids were already coming up to her, asking if what they were hearing was true.

Not long after Allison sat down in a seat on the bus, Paul Hollier sat next to her. Paul wasn't the most popular boy in their grade, but he was far from being the least. It was the first time he ever sat down next to her, and Allison noticed that there were other seats available.

"I hope you don't mind?" he asked as he made himself comfortable.

"No, not at all. Go ahead," she answered, smiling.

"I heard about what happened to you. I wanted to say I'm really sorry. I never did like Curtis much. He was always a scumbag."

"It's alright, it seems like everyone knows about it now."

"I'm afraid so. You're the talk of the town."

"Sure seems that way."

The two of them then sat in silence until Paul stood up and said, "This is my stop. Guess I'll talk to you later."

"Alright, bye."

"Bye."

As he walked down the aisle for the door, Allison looked up and smiled to herself thinking, Paul Hollier sat with me.

"Mom, I'm home," she said as she entered the house.

"In the laundry room, dear."

Allison walked to the laundry room to tell her mother about her day. "I think everyone at school knows what happened to me."

"Don't I know it! I was called at least twenty times today by people asking if it was true or not."

"Sorry, Mom."

"Oh, you have nothing to be sorry about, baby. I'm just sorry that this had to get out, but you know how this town is."

"Yes, for sure."

Allison and Brooke folded clothes together, at which point Brooke looked down at her daughter, saying, "You'll be fine baby. We'll get through this."

"I know, Mom. We'll be fine."

Later that afternoon, while David was tinkering with his leaf blower in the shop, Allison walked out to talk to him.

"Hey Dad, whatcha doing?"

"I'm trying to get this thing working. I think the carburetor is dirty."

"You need any help?" Allison asked, looking around the inside of the shop. She was secretly looking for the section of rope she had cut. The longest piece was still hanging on the hook, but the shorter rope was nowhere in sight. Allison was sure that her father had found the rope; after all, she'd never attempted to hide it, but what she didn't know was that her mom had told David what Patricia had said about the rope.

"Sure, grease monkey. Grab me the can of carburetor cleaner from the workbench."

To Allison, it felt like old times with her father. Neither one of them talked about the rope, and at first, they didn't talk about what had happened to her either. Instead, it was just normal father-daughter bonding as they had done many times before.

As she watched David work on his leaf blower, Allison rapidly changed the mood when she asked, "Do you think Curtis will stay in jail for a while?"

"I would hope so. We'll have to wait and see what they do with the charges and trial. Why do you ask?"

"I don't want him to come back and hurt anyone. He did say that if I told anyone, he would come and find me."

"I wouldn't worry about that, sweetie. I'm sure that was just talk to scare you. Besides, if he did, it would be the worst mistake he ever made."

"I love you, Daddy," Allison said, feeling better for knowing that her father would always be there for her.

"I love you. Now go inside and get ready for dinner. I'll be in shortly."

Allison went back inside to check when dinner would be ready. After learning that it wouldn't be for another thirty minutes, she walked upstairs to her room where she lay down on her bed thinking about everything that had happened to her. A few minutes later, her mind drifted to Jordan, and she wondered if her time with him had even been real or not. Could it have all just been a dream?

For months, Allison had been deciding whether she should tell her best friends about their futures. Would doing so change their futures in any way? What if...?

"Allison! Dinner's ready," Brooke called out, pulling Allison from her thoughts.

"Coming, Mom!"

Allison went downstairs where her mother and father were just sitting down at the table. After dinner, Allison showered and retreated to her room for the night.

The following day, when David returned home, he called Brooke and Allison into the living room.

"The District Attorney called me today and told me that Curtis pled guilty to simple rape during a plea deal. The D.A. said that he was seeking a charge of aggravated rape, but with the lack of evidence and the lapse of time since the crime, he thought it would be best to offer the plea rather than go to trial. He also stated that since Curtis pled guilty, Allison wouldn't have to be part of any trial. He'll just be sentenced next week."

"Is that good or bad, Daddy?"

"It's sure not what I would have wanted, but at least that scum will be off the streets for a while."

"I agree with your father," added Brooke as she hugged Allison.

For the next week, Allison could see a major change in how other kids treated her. In a way, it seemed like sympathy, but for Allison, it was a welcome change from how she had been treated for most of her school years. She continued going to her weekly visit with Patricia where they would talk for an hour and a half. Most of the time, the subject matter was to help make Allison feel safe again. She continued to have nightmares, but they weren't as bad as they had been in the beginning. Until starting to see Patricia, Allison hadn't told anyone about the nightmares. She'd tried to handle everything herself by keeping the nightmares to herself and hiding her feelings deep inside. It was Patricia's job to bring all of that out. That way, Allison could understand that what she was going through was very normal.

Just as the D.A. told David, Curtis confessed to raping Allison, which spared Allison from having to testify. He was sentenced to seven years in prison with the possibility of parole in four, which began immediately. His sentence didn't close this chapter in Allison's life, but it did give her time to cope and room to grow.

Following Curtis' sentencing, Allison skipped several days of school. She didn't want to have to answer any questions about Curtis or his sentence. Some of the kids in school did treat her differently; some were somewhat nicer while others remained the same.
CHAPTER SEVEN

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday, dear Allison, happy birthday to you!" The voices from within the room filled the air as Allison stood beside the dining room table looking down at her birthday cake. Gabriel, Alex, Sheila, Paul, Samuel, Kristi, Brooke, David, and Grandpa Snyder were all in attendance for Allison's sweet sixteenth birthday party. Samuel and Kristi had just started hanging around over the past several weeks. They were friends with Allison more than Gabriel, Alex, and Sheila.

"Sixteen already! My, how you've grown," remarked Grandpa Snyder as he patted Allison on the head. "You are starting to look a lot like your grandmother... and your mother, of course. You're turning into a beautiful young lady, my dear."

"Thanks, Grandpa."

Gabriel, Sheila, and Alex continued to grow closer to Allison, and others had offered their friendship since the news of her attack. Paul seemed to have taken a liking to Allison, but his shyness prevented him from really making any moves on her. Allison liked Paul too, but also didn't do anything to make her feelings known. What wasn't there to like? He was cute and funny. His personality was that of someone who could make you laugh without trying. Paul's dirty blond hair and blue eyes set him apart from the other boys in the room. Ahhhhh, what's there not to like? Allison thought once again as her mind wandered away from her party.

Over the past year and a half, Allison had begun to take control of the way she looked. She'd begun eating better and exercising, along with being allowed to use makeup since she turned fifteen. She was no longer an outcast as she had been before; she'd combatted years of teasing with a transformation of her body and spirit that caused Eddie Harper to relinquish the hold that he'd once had on her self-esteem. Whether it was due to everyone maturing or the fact that kids had moved on to others to tease, Allison was now known around school as Ali, no longer being called Ali Rat, a welcome change that encouraged her to strive to make herself even better. The more she improved, the more she fed on her uplifted emotions and tried even harder. It was as though there had been a chain reaction when she began to determine her own future.

"It's time to start opening your gifts now," Brooke said as she began placing wrapped gifts on the table.

The first gift was a combined present from Sheila, Alex, and Gabriel. She excitedly ripped through the paper as though she were ten years old again.

"Yay!" Allison said as she identified the present – the entire series of her favorite television show. She thanked each of them for the gift and then went on to open cards from the other three kids in attendance. Paul gave her a gift card from a popular restaurant where many of the students hung out, Kristi gave her a $25 gift card to her favorite clothing store in Lafayette, and Samuel simply gave a birthday card. Allison thanked them as well before her grandfather placed a hundred-dollar bill on the table and slid it over to her. "Happy birthday, Ali. Don't spend it all at one place," he said, laughing at her expression when she saw the bill. Allison stood up and gave her grandfather a kiss on the cheek before turning to the last gift – a medium-sized box from her parents.

"Oh my God! I love it! Thanks, Mom and Dad," she exclaimed when she laid eyes on a brand new laptop.

Allison's party went on for several hours with her parents and grandfather doing their own thing as the kids went out in the backyard where there was music and snacks. They all hung out until about 10:30 when the mosquitos became so bad that they had to move indoors. That's when the other kids started saying goodbye to each other and leaving. After everyone had left, Allison showered and turned in for the night. Minutes before falling asleep, she heard a voice – one that she hadn't heard in a while. It startled her, seeming to come from out of nowhere.

"Happy birthday, young lady," Jordan said as he stood beside her bed.

Allison peered into the darkness through squinted eyes, confirming it was indeed Jordan who was talking to her.

"Oh my God, I've missed you so much!" Allison said as she sat up in bed, excited to see the one person who had truly saved her from herself.

Jordan hugged her and asked, "How have you been?"

"I've been fine. How about you?"

"I'm good. You look so different... a lot different from that fourteen-year-old I once knew."

"Like you told me, I can be who I want to be. I've been working so hard to be the person I want to be, inside and out."

"That's great, Allison. I'm really proud of you."

"Thank you, Jordan. But wait... why are you here?"

"Can't I visit an old friend? Actually, I'm allowed two visits after intervention. I chose to use your sixteenth birthday as my first."

"That's wonderful. There were so many times when I wasn't sure if you were even real... or if everything had just been a dream."

"Oh, it was real alright."

"Are you still helping others like you helped me?"

"Yes, absolutely. The need is even greater these days, it seems. With the way people are losing money in the stock market and losing their jobs, there are entirely too many people thinking about ending their lives."

Allison and Jordan talked like old friends who hadn't seen each other in years. She told him all about what happened with Curtis and then told him about Paul.

"I'm not surprised that there's someone special in your life. I mean... look at you! You're gorgeous!"

"Thank you, but I think he's afraid to ask me out," Allison said, blushing from his compliment.

"Well, one thing you should have learned is that life is too short not to take every available opportunity. If he isn't asking you, then you should ask him!"

"I've thought about it, but I'm afraid he'll say no and that it might mess up our friendship."

"If he's truly your friend, then I doubt anything like that can ruin your friendship."

"Maybe you're right."

"Of course I'm right. I'm your guardian angel, aren't I?" he asked, laughing at his own reply.

"Yes you are, and I am so happy for that. If it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't be here today."

"So, what you're telling me is that you made the right decision?"

"Definitely! I'm so happy that I didn't go through with it. I never wanted to hurt anyone. I just wanted to end my own pain."

"Ending your own temporary pain causes immeasurable amounts of pain for others. I learned that from experience and with the many cases I've worked on in the past. Like yours, for instance... you watched what you would have done to your parents and friends, and look at you now. You got through your tough time, and while there might be others, I know that you'll get through those too."

"I know that now, but like I said, I have you to thank for being here."

"You don't have to thank me, it's what I do. Instead, pay it forward by being kind to others. When you see someone less fortunate, offer them a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on, or maybe just an attentive ear to listen. Sometimes people just need to talk to someone, but that's not just teenagers like you. Many adults also reach points in their lives when they feel there is only one way out. Those dark clouds of misery can settle on anyone."

"I'll try my best to help others, Jordan, just like you helped me."

"That's great to hear. I'm working on a tough one at the moment, a thirty-three-year-old father of three. For years, he and his wife, Monique, had been living on his paycheck as best they could and placing the remainder of their monthly bills on credit cards. However, he was laid off from his job a month ago, and they were forced to survive completely on credit. He and his wife are now in debt for over sixty-five thousand dollars. Then, he learned that his wife has been cheating on him for years."

"That's terrible. How will he ever recover from all of that?"

"I had to show him not only a future of happiness years down the road, but also several years of pain and suffering that he would have to endure before getting back on track. I told Rob that it wouldn't be easy, but I showed him the times that he would be able to be there for his children, in their times of need. I even went so far as to show him the results of what would happen if he wasn't in their lives. If he took his life, his son Rodney would follow his father's example several years later by taking his own life when his wife leaves him."

"I hope you can save him. I really do."

"I hope so too, but in order to do so, he'll have to be strong. What about you? Is everything alright with you?"

"Yes, I'm fine. You were right though; one of the main things I had to do was to talk to someone. After I told my mom what happened, everything seemed to start working out. She got me a counselor, Patricia, who's really wonderful. I met with her for six months before she cleared me and that helped me so much. She was someone I could talk to and never feel judged. We didn't just talk about the attack; I was also able to talk about school and how others treated me. She's the one who pointed me in the direction of changing my body. She gave me self-help pamphlets on body sculpting and health. She helped me in so many different ways," Allison was talking so fast that she had to pause at the end just to breathe.

"That's great, Allison. I'm happy that everything worked out. I haven't always succeeded in my duties, but I can surely call your case a success. Speaking of duties, it's time for me to go, as I have other duties to attend to. I'll be seeing you again someday though. Until then, I bid you farewell. I love you, Allison," Jordan said as he kissed Allison on the forehead.

"I love you too, Jordan," she said as Jordan's image began to fade away, leaving Allison alone.

Only four days after her party, while Allison was hanging out with her friends in the schoolyard, Paul finally took a leap of faith. The bell rang, and as the group walked back toward the building, he turned to her and asked, "Are you going to the dance next Friday?"

"I wasn't planning on it. Why do you ask?"

"Because I was thinking that maybe you and I could go."

"Are you asking me to the dance, Paul?" Allison felt her cheeks grow warm with excitement.

"Yes, Ali. Would you go with me to the dance?"

Allison looked around to see if anyone else had heard him ask the question. Maybe it was because she wanted someone else to confirm that this was actually happening!

"Yes, of course, I'll go to the dance with you."

"We'll pick you up at seven."

"We?"

"Yeah, my mom will bring us, if that's okay with you."

"Definitely. My dad will like the idea of that."

Allison spent the remainder of the day giddy at the thought of going to her first dance, not to mention going to her first dance with Paul, the boy who she had secretly admired for months.

"Ms. Perkins, care to join the discussion?" asked Mr. Derrick, who was leading a discussion on American history.

"Sorry, Mr. Derrick," she replied as her attention quickly redirected to the classroom.

"As I was saying, it was on September 11th, 2001, that America suffered a tremendous blow as 19 hijackers took control of four commercial passenger jets flying out of airports on the east coast of the United States. Two of the aircraft were deliberately flown into the main towers of the World Trade Center. A third aircraft was flown into the Pentagon in Virginia, and a fourth plane never reached its intended target. This fourth plane crashed in a field in Pennsylvania. It is believed that the passengers and crew overpowered the hijackers and took control of the plane. Who can tell me why America was attacked in such a way? Allison?"

"I believe that we were attacked because people from the Middle East do not like the way we get involved in their countries." Allison felt confident that her answer was at least close to what he was expecting.

"That is part--" Mr. Derrick was interrupted by the ringing of the dismissal bell, which immediately prompted students to start talking and exiting the classroom.

***

"What time did you say that Paul was picking you up?" asked Brooke as she helped Allison with her hair and make-up.

"He said 7:00."

"Well, we had better get moving. You've got thirty minutes to be finished."

"Do you think this dress fits well?" Allison asked, looking intently at herself in the mirror.

"Yes, of course! You look lovely."

"It doesn't make me look weird?"

"No, baby, you look great. Stop worrying about it." Brooke smiled to herself remembering how she had been at that age when she first started going out on dates.

"Ali, your date's here," David called from downstairs.

"Oh my God, he's early!" Allison's excitement swelled and overwhelmed her after hearing her father's voice.

"No dear, it's seven," Brooke tried to calm her down as she applied a final touch of make-up.

Allison and Brooke both walked downstairs where Allison greeted Paul. Paul stood there in his finest clothes, but his jaw dropped when he laid eyes on Allison.

"You look great, Ali."

"Thank you. You look nice too."

"You both look great," Brooke said, beaming like the proud mother she was, ready to send them off.

"Thank you, Mrs. Perkins," Paul answered as he took Allison's hand to walk her out to the car.

Before the young couple could leave the house, Brooke asked David to take a few photographs of the couple.

"Hello, Mrs. Hollier. Thank you for driving us," Allison greeted Paul's mother after getting into the backseat with Paul.

The ride to the school dance happened in silence. Neither Allison nor Paul talked to each other; instead, they kept their attention on their smart phones until they reached the school.

"Y'all have a good time. I'll be here at 11:00 to pick you both up."

"Alright, Mom," answered Paul before closing the door.

Allison could feel butterflies inside her stomach as they approached the doors of the building. Once there, Paul held the door open for her to walk through. For the first time since being in school, Allison saw the inside of a school dance. The flickering colored lights against the walls and loud music excited Allison beyond belief. The two of them walked over to where Sheila and Alex were standing. They were there together, but they were not there together.

"Hey guys, it's about time y'all showed up," remarked Alex when he saw Allison and Paul approach.

"It's not like we're late, and we did have to go through the metal detector to get in," answered Allison with an obvious tone.

"I know. I'm just messing with ya. Did you take the dance photos yet?"

"No, I'm not sure we will. My dad took enough at home," Allison joked.

"Oh no, you and Paul have to take one here too. The backdrop is so pretty!"

"Alright, we'll go in a little bit after the line gets shorter."

The four of them stayed together as the dance progressed. It wasn't until the sixth slow song that Paul worked up enough courage to ask, "Ali, would you like to dance?"

After a brief pause, she nodded her head eagerly, a shy smile spreading across her face. "I don't know how to dance though, but that is what we came here for."

She had been thinking about dancing all evening, but she had been unable to work up the nerve to ask him.

"That's okay... I'll teach you," Paul answered as he reached for her hand.

Before walking off with Paul, Allison turned to Alex and said, "Don't be such a dweeb, Alex. Ask Sheila to dance."

Alex shook his head back and forth for a moment, but then shrugged his shoulders and turned to Sheila. "Wanna dance?"

"With you?" she asked, not really believing that her friend was asking her to slow dance. Up until that time, Sheila hadn't thought about dancing with anyone, much less dancing with Alex.

"Well yeah, do you or not?"

"Sure."

The four of them made their way onto the dance floor. This was surely a night of firsts: Allison's first time attending a dance, her first date, and now, the first time she had ever danced with someone.

As the night went on, they all danced many more times, and Allison could see Alex and Sheila getting closer. They almost looked like they were on a date together; they stayed next to each other the whole time and didn't dance with anyone else. It was ten minutes to eleven when the last slow song of the night played, and the foursome found themselves on the dance floor for one final dance. As the song ended, Paul said, "Thank you for coming with me."

As Allison looked Paul in the eyes, she answered, "Thanks for asking me. I had a great time."

A split-second later, Paul leaned down slightly and placed his lips to Allison's. Although brief, the kiss caused Allison's heart to skip a beat. She felt a flutter throughout her whole body, and as Paul pulled away, Allison was left standing there with her eyes closed, frozen, and happy.
CHAPTER EIGHT

Allison's eyes moved from her bedroom clock to the ceiling above for the hundredth time. Why can't I fall asleep? It's 1:00 am.

She thought back to the last time Jordan had appeared before her when she was sixteen. Now, her eighteenth birthday had passed without an appearance from him, and Allison thought that maybe he wouldn't be making the final visit as he'd promised. With graduation just three weeks away, Allison's life was certainly moving in the right direction. Although she didn't do it often, she thought back to the day she had nearly killed herself. Had she gone through with her plan, she would never have had the relationship she now had with Paul. They had been dating since the night he took her to the dance when she was sixteen. She wouldn't have her part-time job, or the car her parents had purchased for her as a graduation gift. How little did she know back then when she was only fourteen, about how much her life would change? Her mind jumped from topic to topic until she finally wore herself out and fell asleep.

"Allison, it's 6:30. If you don't get up now, you'll be late for school," Brooke said as she knocked on Allison's bedroom door.

"Aw Mom, can't I skip today?"

"Of course not, girl, you're almost finished. It won't be long before you'll wish you were back in high school!"

"I doubt that, Mom," Allison grumbled before climbing out of bed and starting to get ready for school.

Forty minutes later, she walked out of the door for school, which didn't give her much time to spare before the first bell rang. As she walked from her car, Paul was waiting near the entrance to the school.

"Hey Boo Boo," he welcomed her with his favorite pet name and landed a quick kiss on her cheek. Afterward, he looked around to make sure that no teachers had seen him since public displays of affection were strictly prohibited.

"Morning," she replied as they both entered the building.

"It won't be long now... Soon, we won't be walking down these halls anymore," Paul said as they walked to their first class.

Allison was on a half-day schedule which allowed her to leave at 10:00, but Paul continued with full days. They entered the classroom just as the bell rang, taking their seats on opposite sides of the room.

"Good morning, class. Today is the final day of test preparations as testing starts tomorrow. I want you all to try your best and get the highest scores possible. That way, you all can cruise for the remaining two weeks after testing," Mrs. Jameson explained honestly as the students settled into their seats.

It was obvious that the school year was coming to a close. The students in all grades were anxious for the end to arrive, and for many, discipline levels had fallen. Allison's cap and gown had arrived weeks earlier, and she'd already gone out around the outskirts of town to take senior pictures using the old railroad tracks, a barn, and even the fountain at Magdalen Square over in Abbeville as her photo shoot spots. She even took several with Paul for her own scrapbook.

The week of testing went off without a hitch, with Allison feeling pretty confident that she had done very well on all of them. She needed high scores to help her with scholarships to attend the University of Louisiana at Lafayette – a college roughly thirty miles from home. Ever since she was a small girl, Allison had dreamed of being a teacher as though she had a higher calling to help others. It had been a goal long before her thoughts of committing suicide. Allison thought about the fact that in only four years, if she worked hard and studied, she could be working at one of the elementary schools in Vermilion Parish – a perfect way of giving back to her community.

That evening, as Brooke cleaned up around the house, Allison sat on the couch watching something on television. Brooke broke the silence. "You haven't mentioned going on a senior trip. Aren't your friends going anywhere?"

"Actually, none of my friends are going anywhere that I know of. It's probably because no one has any money for a trip."

"Well, your dad said that if you wanted to do something, we could go to Galveston Island for a long weekend."

"A senior trip with my parents is pretty lame, Mom."

"You could bring a couple of friends. You wouldn't really have to do anything with us either. You and your friends can just hang out. There's the waterpark, the beach, Pleasure Pier..."

"Are you sure that dad would be okay with me bringing friends?" Allison was quickly backtracking her initial answer and taking the offer a bit more seriously.

"He's the one who suggested it, dear."

"What about boys? Can I have any boys come?"

"I'm not sure about that. I'll have to ask your father."

"Please, just Paul and Alex. I promise we'll behave. Oh, and Sheila, of course."

"We'll see what your father says."

Allison wasted no time in texting Sheila about her mother's offer. Sheila's response was a simple Count me in. She didn't text Paul, but she did send another text to Sheila to let her know that Alex might be able to go. It was then that Gabriel popped into her head. In all of her excitement, Allison had forgotten all about Gabriel.

Allison spent the next two hours in her room. Most of the time was spent surfing the Internet and texting back and forth with Sheila.

Come downstairs. A text from David popped onto the screen. Allison laughed at the way her father sent a text rather than calling for her like he normally did.

"Really, Dad? A text?" Allison said as she entered the living room to find Brooke and David both watching television.

"I figured that was the in thing to do these days."

Allison laughed aloud at how goofy her father could be at times when trying to be cool.

"Your mom said something about bringing boys along if we take you on a senior trip. If we go, I don't mind the two boys, but there will be some major ground rules."

"Really? You would let Paul and Alex come?" Allison could feel her face warm up from the excitement building up inside.

"Major ground rules!"

"Okay, okay... what are the rules?" Allison asked, puzzled by the way David had emphasized his last comment.

"We're going to rent a three-bedroom condo. Boys will be in one room and girls will be in another. I know that everyone is over 18, and if y'all will be doing any drinking, it will be done at the condo complex under our supervision. You know it's not legal for any of you to be drinking to start with, but I'm not naïve. I'll pay for the room and food, along with giving you some extra spending money, but everyone else has to pay their own way."

"I can live with that. When are we going? Oh wait, I forgot all about Gabriel. Can Gabriel come with us? Just one more? Please?"

"I guess we'll have room, but that's it. I'll go online and book the condo tonight. I'll reserve a place for three nights – the weekend after graduation."

"Thanks Dad! I'll tell the others. Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She hugged David and kissed him on the cheek before looking at Brooke and thanking her too. Then, Allison ran upstairs to her room to call Sheila and Paul and tell them the great news.

From that night forward, Allison wasn't sure what she was more excited about; her graduation or the senior trip with her friends!

***

"Mom, I have to be at the gym at 5:30."

"Why so early? Graduation doesn't start until 7:00."

"We'll be taking photos before lining up and the senior walk starts at 6:45."

"Well, you'd better get a move on then."

"I know, that's what I'm saying. Can you help me with my hair and make-up?"

"Alright, let's get it over with so you can go. Then I can get ready."

"Where's Dad? Shouldn't he be getting ready?"

"He'll be home shortly. You know how he waits until the last minute for everything." Brooke shook her head at the thought of David and his infamous habit of procrastinating.

Twenty minutes passed while Brooke applied the final touches of make-up to Allison's face. "All done, kiddo. Get yourself to school and drive safely. We love you, and we're very proud of you!"

"Thanks Mom. I love you too. Bye!" Allison grabbed her cap and gown from the hook attached to her closet door before leaving her mother alone to prepare for the ceremony.

A few minutes after Allison left, David arrived. Even with the head start that Brooke had over David, he still managed to be dressed and ready to leave before his wife. With twenty minutes to spare, the couple arrived at the gymnasium.

David and Brooke sat in their assigned seats and looked around as the seats near them began to fill. The parents sat on chairs in front of the stage, while the remaining people in attendance were sitting on the bleachers on either side of the gymnasium.

"Look, there she is," Brooke said to David as she pointed in the direction of where Allison was standing and squeezed her husband's arm.

"Okay, I see her."

A quiet fell over the crowd as the principal walked to the podium and began talking. "Welcome, friends and family. We are here tonight to pay tribute to a group of the finest students to ever come through Kaplan High School. I welcome you to the Kaplan High Class of 2016 graduation. I know that you are as proud of your students as we, the staff, are. Without further ado, I will turn the microphone over to Evan Harris, President of the Class of 2016."

The crowd applauded before Evan began his speech, which lasted for ten minutes before he turned the microphone over to Tina Rigby, the class valedictorian. Once all the speeches were finished, Principal Roy returned to the podium, this time wearing a University of Lafayette graduation gown over the beige pantsuit she had been wearing at the beginning of the ceremony. Mrs. Roy started announcing the names of the seniors, and they each approached the podium. They each had their diploma handed to them and then received a solemn handshake from Mrs. Roy. Once a student had their diploma in their hand, they walked to an area near the stage where they could sit and watch the others. Although the guests in attendance were asked to hold their applause until the end, many students received short bursts of applause or shouts of encouragement when their name was called out.

"Seth Adams." Seth made his way to the podium to receive his diploma from Mrs. Roy. With his diploma in hand, Seth turned to the left and started to walk away as Mrs. Roy called out the next student, "Courtney Broussard."

She continued through her list of graduates until finally calling out, "Allison Perkins."

Just as the principal said Allison's name, there were dual air horns that shattered the silence of the gymnasium. The noise caused Allison to snap her head in the direction it came from and instantly, she saw her father standing with his hands in the air, a horn in each hand. As she walked and laughed, the entire crowd began to applaud. As their applause quieted down, a loud voice from the senior section yelled out, "That's my girlfriend!"

Allison looked toward the seniors who were already sitting down, but she immediately spotted Paul standing there clapping his hands. His words caused the blood to rush into her cheeks, and she could feel the warmth it caused. The crowd cried out in laughter at Paul's outburst. At that point, Principal Roy cleared her throat loudly enough to signal that she was ready to move on. The crowd quickly quietened down, and she continued calling out names.

After the last student had received her diploma and reached her classmates, the entire group rose to their feet and Principal Roy announced, "Family and friends, I present to you the Kaplan High School Class of 2016 Graduates." Her words sent nearly seventy-five graduation caps flying into the air as the students began their celebration. Looking to the future would come a bit later. Tonight was their time to reflect on all that they had gone through and what each one had accomplished.

As students mingled with friends and family members, many were taking photographs as the graduation ceremony ended.

"Congratulations, young lady," David told his daughter when he and Brooke were finally able to catch up with her.

"Thanks Dad." She gave him a tight hug, and when she looked at her mother, Allison could see tears rolling down her face. Obviously, they were tears of joy from a mother who was incredibly proud of seeing her daughter take this wonderful new step.

Her parents left soon after, leaving Allison behind to say goodbye to several teachers and students that she knew she wouldn't see very often after leaving school. She was college-bound in the fall and knew that the life she was leaving behind would only be a memory for years to come.

***

As the vehicle pulled into the condominium complex, the four in the rear seats were still discussing what they wanted to do first. The girls were talking about going to the beach, whereas the boys wanted to go to Pleasure Pier. Their conversations quickly changed, however, when David interrupted, "The first thing we're gonna do is unload the Suburban and get settled in."

"Yes, Mr. Perkins, I agree," Paul answered quickly.

"Suck up," Alex teased as he punched Paul in the arm playfully.

Everyone pitched in to unload the vehicle. Once everything was in the condo, they began unpacking their things – the girls in one room, the boys in another, and David and Brooke in a third.

"Dad, can we go now?"

"Sure baby, y'all be careful. Where are you guys headed?"

"We're just gonna walk on the beach. We'll be back later. Then, maybe you or Mom could drive us to Pleasure Pier?"

"Okay, just stick together. You never know what can happen these days with all the crazies out there."

"Yes Dad," Allison replied before turning to the others. "Let's go!"

The group left the condo and walked across the street to the beach. As they walked in and out of the water, just deep enough to get their ankles wet, Alex broke the calm silence with a surprising announcement. "I joined the Army."

"You did what?" Paul asked in shock, disbelieving what he'd just heard.

"I joined the Army two days ago."

"And you didn't tell us?" Allison chimed in, upset that Alex hadn't mentioned anything until now. She then turned to Sheila and asked, "Did you know?"

"Yes. He told me, but asked me to keep it to myself."

"But why? Why not tell us?" she asked Sheila directly.

"I wasn't sure if I could pass the entry test, so I wanted to make sure I was in before I said anything," Alex interrupted, trying to smooth things over.

"So you're gonna be a soldier, huh?" Paul asked, holding out a hand to shake Alex's hand.

"I'm certainly gonna try."

"I'm proud of you, Alex, even if you have been keeping it from us." At that very moment, Allison began to look at Alex differently, as if he had aged years right before her eyes. She realized that they were no longer kids.

"How will you two be able to keep dating if you're away in the army?" Paul asked.

"Well, I'm thinking that if I get past Basic Training, I can come home and we can get married. That is... if Sheila wants to?"

"Oh my God, that's the worst proposal I've ever heard," Sheila remarked with a smile, clearly surprised and excited by what Alex said, despite his casual delivery.

"Whew, so much information all at once. Y'all are gonna drive me crazy today," Allison commented as she turned to embrace Sheila.

"Imagine how I feel," remarked Sheila before turning to Alex. "Yes, of course, I'll marry you."

The couple embraced and fell into a lingering kiss. Allison watched two of her best friends in what had to be one of their happiest moments together.

The entire weekend passed by in a flash. The teens obeyed the rules set by David and Brooke, but still managed to enjoy themselves.

***

"It seems like you just started college yesterday, and you already have your first teaching job. I'm glad that you'll be close to home, but I wish you had been hired here in Kaplan," Brooke said as she sat with Allison at the kitchen table.

"I know, Mom, but Forked Island E. Broussard is only ten miles away."

"Still, you'll be driving in the fog and during bad weather."

"I can handle it. I've driven in the rain and fog before... while I was at college. I'll be fine."

"I know. I just worry about you being out on the streets so early in the morning."

"I'll be fine, Mom. What I actually wanted to talk to you about was that... Paul proposed to me yesterday. I wanted to tell you last night when I got back home, but you and Dad were already in bed, and I didn't want to wake you. Paul also said that he wanted to talk to Dad after I talked to you. He said something about asking for Dad's blessing to marry me. I have no idea what that's about. I suppose he's trying to be traditional or something."

The smile on Brooke's face was priceless as she learned the great news. She paused for a moment and a shadow crossed her expression. "You did say yes, right?"

"Of course! We've been dating for so long, but he said that he was waiting for me to finish college first. We're not rushing anything... I think I want to have a winter wedding when it's cool outside. I don't think I can handle the humidity any other time."

***

"Dad, are you crying?" Allison asked as she watched a tear roll down her father's face. He still looked so young standing there in his tuxedo. Allison's wedding gown lay perfectly draped around her shoes as the wedding march began.

"No, I'm not crying. The air is just really dry in here," her father joked. "Now let's get going, it's time to give the bride away."

The two of them slowly walked toward the altar. Without turning her head, Allison stared down the corridor of people on both sides of the aisle. Her eyes then drifted to where Paul waited for her. Beside him stood Alex, who had completed his time in the Army, and Gabriel, who had come down from Kentucky where he now lived and worked. Across from them were Sheila and Tammy, Gabriel's girlfriend.

The couple exchanged their vows and then hurried to the reception where they celebrated until 11:00. As people started to leave, the new Mr. and Mrs. Hollier took it as their cue to also depart. They were scheduled for a 1:00 am flight out of Lafayette. The flight would take the newlyweds to Houston, and then on to their final destination – Cancun, Mexico – where they would spend seven days in a beachfront cabin.

***

"Push, you're almost there! Push through the contractions. Push, Mommy!" said the maternity nurse as she worked to deliver Allison and Paul's baby.

"You can do it, baby," Paul encouraged, as Allison clenched his hand for dear life.

"Oh God, this hurts so much!" Allison cried out in pain, sweat escaping from thousands of pores at once.

"You're almost there. Here comes the head. Just push, push, push, stop."

"Stop? Oh my God, why?"

"I just want to make sure that everything is okay, dear. Now push for just a few more. And... PUSH! There you go, Mommy. We have a healthy baby boy. Great job!" the delivery nurse said before turning to Paul and asking, "Would you like to cut the cord, Daddy?"

Unsure of himself, Paul answered, "Sure, I'll do it."

Following the instructions from the nurse, Paul cut the umbilical cord with hands practically jittering with nervousness. The nurse then placed a clip of sorts onto the small nub of the baby's navel before she handed the baby to a nearby nurse, who cleaned the newborn and placed him in Allison's arms. The nurse continued to work on Allison, partially cleaning her up in the process.

"He's so beautiful! Look at our son," Allison said to Paul, who hadn't left her side. He cried as he reached down to touch his son for the first time. Paul then bent down to place his lips to Allison's.

"I love you so much," he said.

"I love you. I never would have thought that I could have been this happy."

The End

(If you're seeking a fairytale ending stop reading here.)

Reality Continued

(To continue reading will change how you view this story. Chapter Nine is based on reality.)
CHAPTER NINE

Allison felt snapped back to reality, and she realized in an instant that her life was ending. Allison felt a surge of panic and continued her attempt to catch her foot on the stepladder below as the glimpses of her life came to a halt. 'What were they?' she wondered about the visions that played through her mind. The ones that seemed so real only seconds ago, but she had to re-shift her attention to the matter at hand. The rope around her neck squeezed tighter and tighter. The drop hadn't been far enough to break her neck; instead, it provided moments of agony as she fought for breath, literally fighting for life to change her decision. No matter what had happened to her in the past, Allison wanted to live.

What seemed like a lifetime had only taken seconds to flash before her eyes in such detail that she actually thought everything was real. She thought that she had gotten a second chance and made the most of it. She thought that she had been saved. How wrong she had been to believe that there was anything waiting for her after kicking the ladder away from beneath her! There was no guardian angel. Jordan was simply someone in her mind. He was her mind's cruel way of sending her off. Someone help me... I don't want to die, she thought. Soon after Allison's body went limp, her arms fell to her sides, her eyes slowly closed, and darkness consumed her mind.

Allison's body hung there, suspended from the tree limb, waiting for the minute that her mother or father would discover her. The blood from her body no longer pulsed; instead, gravity began to cause it to accumulate in her legs, turning the color of her face into a chalky pale shade.

***

"Good morning. On behalf of the Perkins family, I wish to thank you for attending on this great day of sorrow as we say goodbye to our beloved Allison. God has called for another angel causing Allison to begin her journey home," Reverend Sanders spoke from beside Allison's casket where she lay peacefully.

Brooke had chosen a colorful sundress for Allison to remind her of the many smiles she had seen throughout her daughter's short life. The funeral home was filled to capacity with students from school, as well as family and friends who had all come to say goodbye. Some in attendance knew her, while others had only known of her.

"Although in some religions, it is said to be a sin if one should take their own life, I disagree with the notion of this act being a sin. I do believe that it's highly regrettable and unnecessary, but it is not a sin to be misguided by a lack of knowledge. David and Brooke have asked me to include something during this service that may shine a light on the darkness of suicide. It is always with a heavy heart that I attend these types of services when parents must bury their child. This heaviness is much worse when I am asked to perform a service for someone who didn't have to die, or for those people suffering through some kind of life crises. Perhaps they were unable, for whatever reason, to talk to someone about what they were going through. Life is not always easy; life does not always go our way, but what doesn't break us in life surely makes us stronger.

"It's obvious that Allison was torn between good and evil: the good being everything that was right in her life, such as the love of her parents and the love from her friends versus the evil that plagued her mind, the issues that never went away, and a darkness that prevented this poor child from seeking the help she needed. Suicide is something you cannot take back; it is indeed a permanent solution to a temporary problem. However, let us not allow the loss of Allison's life to be in vain. Love life every day. Love yourself and others, and know that communication is the key to cleansing. Do not frown upon Allison for taking her own life; instead, talk to others about why they shouldn't take theirs.

"I will close with two special verses from the Lord's book. Joshua 1:9, Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. This is my first choice for all who are troubled, as well as for dear Allison, Peter 5:10, And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. Now, please rise for a final viewing and tribute to Allison Perkins." Reverend Sanders concluded his portion of the service as people began to walk down the aisle toward the casket, each stopping for several seconds or even minutes, while others merely said a quick prayer before moving on.

Once the last of the people in attendance had paid their final respects and then moved away from Allison, Brooke and David approached the casket. With David holding Brooke closely, tears flowed freely on both of their faces. Brooke reached down and placed her hands on Allison's as she wept. The lowest of sounds escaped her lips, a sound that clearly exposed her heartbreak as she said a final goodbye to her daughter.

For an instant, Brooke thought, 'How could I allow my child to hurt so much that she would want to take her own life? How could I have not known?'

Ten more minutes passed before two men walked up to the casket and closed the cover in front of Allison's parents. They knew that it was time to allow their daughter to begin her peaceful journey. Allison's parents stepped back and watched the men secure the cover and prepare the casket for transport to the hearse. Brooke and David walked slowly, led out by the men pushing the casket. The casket was slowly loaded into the vehicle and the door swung closed and locked behind it. The short ride to the cemetery would soon begin.

Everyone soon departed the funeral home, and Allison's procession was escorted to the cemetery by law enforcement. The Kaplan Police Department provided a slow-moving, non-stop escort to the cemetery on the outskirts of town, the very same cemetery where Allison's grandmother was buried.

Upon arrival, everyone gathered around the hearse to await the removal of the casket. With assistance from the driver, the six pallbearers slowly slid the casket from the vehicle before carrying Allison to her final resting place. A quiet ceremony of prayer and reflection followed, and as soon as it had begun, the service came to an end.

As some in attendance walked away from the area, others drifted toward Brooke and David offering their condolences and sympathies. With broken hearts, Brooke, David, and a handful of others watched as cemetery workers lowered Allison's casket into the ground.

David, Brooke, and Grandpa Snyder were the last three to depart, but they left without their baby girl.

Author Insight:

When I began writing Saving Allison, I truly wanted there to be a happy ending. After all, that's why I gave the story its name. However, as I wrote the story, it began to dawn on me that there are no happy endings when it comes to suicide. I wanted a story that caused an impact, a story that caused the reader to really think about the subject matter. There are no winners in suicide, and there is no such thing as taking it back. Should a person succeed in their attempt, the solution they sought is final.

Statistics show that nearly 30,000 Americans commit suicide every year. They also tell us other things, like the fact that suicide is the third leading cause of death for 15- to 24-year-olds and the second leading cause for those aged 24 to 35. On average, one person commits suicide every 16.2 minutes and while researching the statistics, I read that each suicide intimately affects at least six other people. If this is true, then while the person committing suicide will be free of whatever was bothering them at the time, they directly affect the lives of those who loved them in a truly devastating manner.

It is believed that at least ninety percent of all people who die by suicide were suffering from a mental illness at the time, most commonly depression. As in this story about Allison, people who are depressed or have an emotional state of mind, evidenced by desperation, hopelessness, or anxiety, are at risk of suicide.

Should the act of suicide even cross your mind, seek help immediately. Talk to a loved one, a friend, or even a stranger... just talk to someone. Consider calling the National Suicide Hotline if you feel that there is no one else to talk to. There is always someone willing to talk with you, but you must be the one to seek this help. Thank you for reading Saving Allison. I hope that this story will help at least one person out there. That alone would make every word worth it.

~ J. Stoute

I really hope you consider leaving a review.

I love to read what people think of the story.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH

