

#

Just Breathe Book One

Heather Allen

Second Edition

Published by Heather Allen

Copyright 2013 Heather Allen

Cover Art by B Design

Formatting by Integrity Formatting

All rights reserved. This book contains material protected under International and Federal copyright laws and treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without express written permission from the author/publisher.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

1 - Heartbreak

2 - Friday

3 - The unknown

4 - The boy with the golden hands

5 - The Lake

6 - The Game

7 - Confusion

8 - Dreams

9 - Parents

10 - The Beach

11 - Time

12 - Monsters

13 - Gam-aw

14 - Yellow Eyes

15 - Eighteen

16 - The Choice

17 - Good-byes

18 - My History

19 - Life in the Sea

20 - The City

21 - Jack

22 - The Aunt

23 - Home

24 - Freedom

25 - Jaspen

26 - Distractions

27 - Swim Meet

28 - James

29 - Seamus

30 - Downward Spiral

31 - Gabbi

32 - Choosing Sides

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Also by Heather Allen

Dedicated to my little, Carly Allen.

May your imagination always take you to the sea, where the mermaids are!

" _I have seen them riding seaward on the waves_

combing the white hair of the waves blown back

when the wind blows the water white and black.

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea

by sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown

till human voices wake us, and we drown."

― T.S. Eliot, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

#

_How did this happen?_ This question keeps a mantra through my mind. Any other clear thought evades me. The concrete curb I am sitting on is so uncomfortable and I think my foot is falling asleep. I can't seem to get up or even look up at him. It's as if the air has slowly leaked out of me like a bicycle tire with a nail in it, I can barely move.

"Ever, did you hear me?" Michael asks loudly.

I slowly lift my eyes and meet his. He has a questioning look on his tanned face. _Great_ , here come the waterworks. His hands are poised out in front of him with his palms faced up, waiting for me to answer. _I just want to float away and pretend this moment never happened._

A tear trails down my cheek and his expression softens. He walks over and sits next to me on the curb. He grabs my hand, "Come on Ever, I know this is tough but we are still so young."

His hand is soft against mine. I turn to look into those golden brown eyes I know so well. The tears flow freely now.

He wraps his arm around me and tells me, "I know it's hard but, I just think this is the right thing to do. We've been together for so long and..."

I nod, numb from the shock and glance back down at the street in front of me. I focus on the small bits of rough gravel under my Converse. _All those tiny bits and pieces that fit together to form something so tangible. Something so simple yet so complicated if you consider all that is involved in the formation of it_. _Yet it crumbles so quickly._

He places his hand softly under my chin to turn my face toward him, "Ever, I am so sorry." My eyes search his face for _what_ , I don't know.

He lets his hand drop. Now I can't seem to move my gaze. The word that has always come to mind when I think of Michael is, _nice_. He is considerate and has always been such a good person to everyone. I have always admired him for that kindness. Why at this moment can't I be furious and angry at him? He's too likable and I hate him for it.

He averts his eyes and continues, "I was thinking maybe we can take the year off and see where that leads us."

I can feel his arm around me but it's as if I'm looking down on the entire scene from above. The words won't form for me to respond. I can feel it building but I can't do anything about it. I'm losing my grip but I welcome it, my body tenses and then darkness.

I hear his voice from far away at first and then really close to my face, "Ever, Ever, wake up. Come on Ever."

I feel his arm around my shoulders and his hand patting my cheek gently. Slowly I open my eyes and he comes into focus. He looks so worried. I realize then that we are in the midst of breaking up, I must have fainted. I quickly push myself up to a sitting position, embarrassed. What is wrong with me? I can't even deal with my emotions.

He lets go of me realizing my reaction, "I was about to go and get your mom."

I shake my head absently, "I'm glad you didn't."

He asks, "Are you going to be alright?"

I gaze longingly at him.

He realizes the loaded answer to that question and gets up uncomfortably running his hand through his short blond hair. He glances down at me and states, "Well I have to go. I guess, I guess I'll see you in school."

He stands there waiting, but I can't find my voice. As he walks down the street to his car, I gather the energy to watch him leave. His hands are shoved in his pockets and his shoulders are hunched.

As he drives away I realize, _I didn't ask him why. I didn't tell him how important he is to me. I didn't even protest or tell him no, this isn't what I want._

Suddenly my whole body is wracked with sobs. I can barely breathe and my face is burning up, my hands are clammy and my heart is broken. I notice the sun setting but I can't bring myself to get up and go into the house.

Time must have passed because the next thing I know my mom comes out of the house looking for me.

She walks out glancing down at me and asks, "Ever, are you alright?"

When I don't answer she realizes I am not. She sits down next to me and puts her arm around my back. I rest my head on her shoulder.

She questions, "Was that Michael I saw drive away a little while ago?"

I nod against her shoulder.

She asks, "Not such good news then?"

My hands cover my eyes and I start sobbing again.

She soothes, "Oh honey, I am so sorry." She lifts my auburn hair out of my eye.

"You are so beautiful. He doesn't know what he just lost."

We sit like this until the only light around us is that of the moon.

My mom gets up and coaxes me to stand up too, "Come on sweetie let's go get some hot tea and ice cream."

My mom's belief, ever since I was little, is that ice cream can cure anything. I can barely move, literally, because my legs are cramped from sitting there for so long.

As we walk back to the house, I choke out, "Thank you mom, I love you."

She chuckles, "That's my job, Ever, and I love you too."

She takes a deep breathe, "Honey, you will hear this many times, but this will be the hardest heartbreak, your first love always is."

The next weeks are a blur...

Michael Brooks officially broke up with me after three years of dating exclusively. I was absolutely devastated once the realization of my new reality set in.

So far I've gone through many steps of the grieving process or so my mom and Gam-aw have advised.

At first I was in denial. The whole scene out on the curb seemed like a distant bad dream. I reasoned so many excuses for him. Maybe he had a sudden lapse of sanity. Maybe he had second thoughts. He must have been mistaken and didn't really mean it. I waited by the phone every day for a week, thinking he'd call and apologize. What a complete waste of time.

Denial gave way to anger. I snapped at anyone who tried to reason with me. My family went days without speaking to me. They completely steered clear of any room I inhabited. I was very hard to live with for a while, to say the least.

Later I started believing everyone when they said I was too good for him and I should take a dive, because there are other fish in the sea. Of course, my response was that it's easier said than done.

After some encouragement from my mom, I accepted a date with a boy from my literature class, Tad Moore. I'm just embarrassed to even look at him now. It didn't go well. He took me to a movie, a love story of all the choices and I cried throughout the entire movie. I was completely inconsolable, so he just left me at the end of the drive, without a backward glance.

This leaves me now with downright sadness.

I put up a good show for everyone; they think I'm in the 'got over him' phase. But truthfully, my heart is still broken and I can't believe it happened.

For three years we were the couple everyone wanted to be or envied. We started dating in ninth grade when it was 'cute'. Then we weren't cute anymore, we were serious.

This year, our senior year, we were going to be the leaders of the school. The plan for college next year was to apply to the same colleges and go together.

Now it's all gone and I feel completely lost. It feels like I'm drowning and I can't catch my breath. That pretty much describes my days lately. I go through the motions but can't seem to react or feel because of 'him'.

I have the hardest time when I see him at school.

I put up a good show, as if it doesn't bother me especially around Michael. He doesn't seem bothered at all but I guess that is to be expected since he is the one who did the heartbreaking.

My best friend Gabbi is the only one who knows how I truly feel, miserable.

As I step out of the shower today, I realize as I look in the mirror at my average reflection, maybe just maybe I can get through this whole thing. My light green eyes look a little more alive today. Glancing at the speckling of freckles across my nose, reminds me that Michael used to tell me they make me look like the girl next door. _Crap, not a good thought to encourage moving on_.

I turn to get ready for the morning. My wardrobe is pretty colorless these days, a pair of jeans and a navy t-shirt are sufficient. I opt for a braid with my lack of enthusiasm to make any attempts at my appearance.

"Ever! James!" My mom calls up the stairs.

I yell back down, "Coming."

As I approach the steps, a quick glance into my brother's room reveals he is still wrapped up in his sheet like a mummy, typical.

"Hey, James, it's seven."

Moaning, "Ooooohhh, go away."

Whatever. Not my job to keep track of him.

My mom and dad look up as I enter the kitchen.

"Hi, you look nice today," my mother's daily attempt at lifting my mood.

A smile plays on my lips, "Thanks, feeling alright today," my daily attempt at avoiding conversation.

I grab a glass of juice and a banana, "Have a great day."

My dad glances up from the newspaper, "You too learn a lot today."

My jeep revs to life. Placing my hands on the steering wheel I tell myself, " _You can do this. Everyday has been a little easier than the last. Today will be better than yesterday and tomorrow will be better than today."_

When I arrive at school Gabbi is frantic with new gossip. This is really not a new occurrence; she has to always know who is doing what with whom. You could say Gabbi is the eyes and ears of our lovely high school here in Pahrump, Nevada. She is the one to go to if you need any dirt on anyone. Hence the appropriateness of her name, she loves to talk.

I guess the benefit of being her best friend is that I am always in the know about everyone. But really I could care less unless it involves Michael.

Today it did and it was not news I was happy to hear.

I am walking to my first class about to turn the corner and Gabbi just about plows me over at the corner. She is out of breath. She snatches my hand and pulls me toward the center of the court yard.

I pull in the other direction and tell her, "Gabbi, we're going to be late for our first class. Remember, that is the one class that I cannot be late for because Michael is in it."

She continues pulling on my hand while shaking her head, "Ever, you are going to thank me after you hear this."

Our school is situated in the shape of a huge square. The court yard is the only part of the school that is actually outside. We settle on a bench towards the outer edge.

She catches her breath and starts, "Oh my God Ever, according to Melissa who lives two houses down, Michael asked her friend Brittany out on a date."

My heart skips a beat at this news. It's not something I was expecting.

I slowly ask, "Are you sure?"

She looks down sadly, "Yes, aren't you glad I didn't let you go to class?"

I shake my head confused, "But when he broke up, he made it sound more like it was..."

Gabbi finishes, "More like he needs freedom? Maybe because of college next year? He just doesn't want any attachments? I don't know Ever, it always seems to go this way."

I look up at her offended and tell her sarcastically, "Okay Gabbi because you are the all- knowing relationship expert."

She chuckles, "Okay, maybe I have yet to experience my first big love but I _have_ learned a lot from everyone else's broken relationships."

I glance down defeated, "Thanks."

She grabs my arm and shakes her head, "I didn't mean it I'm sorry."

I cut her off uncomfortably, "It's okay. I know what you meant. I just can't believe he is moving on already."

I look up at her suddenly sick to my stomach, "I think I'm going to skip my first class. I'll see you in third period."

She asks, "Are you sure you don't want me to stay with you?"

I shake my head, "No, I'll be alright I just need to be alone right now."

She hugs me and hops up rushing to class while calling behind her, "Hang in there, I still love you."

My smile doesn't quite reach my eyes but she knows I am sincere.

Here I am debating the cruel implications of my life while I wait out my first class. I relocated to the park across the street from the school. It's a small little park or really more like a patch of grass. It mostly consists of a couple of wooden benches, two lantern style street lamps and a huge sycamore tree, very sparse for a park in my opinion.

Gabbi and I have used this as our meeting place for the past three years. It's kind of like our spot where we can go to vent or gossip. As far as I can tell not many other people use it which works well for us.

Today the clouds are many, a true grey day, perfect to go with my sudden depressive mood. It was going to be the day things turned around, I was so sure of it. Everything just turned in the opposite direction than I was hoping for. A tear falls.

_Oh great_ that's all I need are puffy eyes. Haven't I done enough crying during the past couple of weeks? You would think my tear ducts would be empty by now.

My intention is to make it to the rest of my classes but I don't know what I will do if I have to face Michael today. Especially now that I know he really has moved on.

My mom and Gam-aw have both told me on more than one occasion over the past two weeks that your first love is the hardest to get over. Well at this point I have no intention of having any more loves, ever.

It feels like there's a pit in my stomach and every time I think of him bats fly around making me feel dread.

Not a very good feeling and here we are going on two weeks and he has already moved on. I can feel a sob coming on.

I would be happy if I could just push the delete button for the past two weeks and forget any of this ever happened.

_I met Michael during our freshman year. I had just entered my first class, on the first day of high school. I knew many of the students but it was still so new. I took the only open seat next to Michael and we hit it off right away. He was even more scared than I was. He had just moved over the summer from Florida and knew not a single person. From the start it seemed as though we fit perfectly. He glanced over with his golden brown eyes and sunbaked blond hair. He asked my name and looked terrified._ I was taken with him from the beginning. That was I guess, the start of the end.

My walk to second period statistics is uneventful and thankfully, I don't run into you know who. As I sit at my desk I start to think about this girl Brittany. Couldn't her parents think of anything else to name her? I mean come on every other girl has that name these days. I don't know who she is and I pretty much know everyone in my graduating class. It is after all a pretty small class of about two hundred. I guess there is a possibility she is the same age as me but I have a feeling she is younger, which makes me even angrier. Why couldn't he stick with someone his own age?

I begin to wonder is she brunette like me or blonde... Is she tall or short...have I ever seen her before?

I'm so engrossed in my musings that when I look up, I jump back in my seat startled. Jason Varner, a guy from my class is leaning on my desk only inches away from my face looking at me with this knowing smile.

"Sorry Ever, I didn't mean to scare you," he says with his best southern drawl, not such a good imitation.

Oh great, here it comes, word spreads like wildfire around this place.

He stutters under his breath, "I was, I was just wondering if you would like to see a movie with me this Friday night."

I glance around and even though this is an A and B conversation I see waiting, expectant pairs of eyes staring at us. I sigh and turn towards him as my anger surfaces.

My voice comes out as a hiss, "Just because Michael has moved on and has a date on Friday night, does not mean I want to go out with the entire male population in this school. No, I don't want to see a movie with you. Not on Friday night or ever, so go tell all your little friends that Ever Harding is _not_ interested." I say this last part a little too loudly.

He looks like he can't get away fast enough and he says as softly as he can while he scans the waiting eyes around him, "I take that as a no then, maybe another time."

He turns and skitters away.

The girl at the desk next to me, Roberta, says in a whiny voice, "OMG, did you have to be so rude? Poor guy."

I shrug my shoulders and look away, what does everyone want from me? Through the rest of the class I am the one squirming. I keep getting dirty looks from everyone around me. Counting down the minutes- they can't tick by fast enough.

By the time I walk through the door to my third class, English Literature, Gabbi has already heard about my outburst in Calculus. She tries to console me and downplay it. I can't say it really worked though. I still felt lousy.

My next three classes pretty much were as I would have expected, lots of whispering and glaring in my direction. I'm sure Michael heard at some point which is exactly the opposite vibe I wanted to put out. Obviously Gabbi isn't the only one who knows bow that I'm not over Michael Brooks.

#

The rest of the week brought more gossip about Michael and more gossip about my rejection of Jason. I guess I should have taken it down a notch and been nicer to him.

He wasn't the only vulture who flew down to ask for a date when Michael broke up with me though. They just couldn't see that I wasn't interested.

I know it isn't anyone's fault, Jason just happened to be asking the wrong thing at the wrong time. The good thing is that no one asked me out for the rest of the week and that is a record considering there were five invites in two weeks. Well, six if you count my failure date with Tad. Just thinking about that night makes me want to crawl under a rock. It was so embarrassing.

Gabbi will not let this Friday night go. She is convinced I will not be okay at home on a Friday night alone, knowing Michael is out on a date with another girl. I can't get it through to her that me and reality T.V. are old friends and we'll be just fine. She won't buy it and Friday after school tells me she will be over to pick me up at eight. Maybe I can suddenly come down with a fever or something.

I peruse my closet and choose jeans and a black T-shirt. I am in mourning after all. Gabbi didn't tell me where we are going but I don't really care as long as it is where Michael isn't.

When she pulls up to my house, I walk out and notice her ensemble is the usual vibrant Gabbi. She has paired green skin tight jeans with a purple flowery tank and a daisy to match in her red unruly hair. She decided on purple glasses to clash with her big brown eyes. It always seems to work for her. I think if I showed up in some of her outfits people would burst into fits of laughter.

I hop in and ask as cheerfully as I can, "Hey, where are we going?"

She smiles and starts the car.

We start driving and the car is silent. It's never a good sign when Gabbi decides to be quiet.

I ask her, "Are you going to tell me where we're going?"

She shakes her head smiling, "Nope."

I look at her incredulously, "Gabbi, if you do anything."

She glances quickly at me frowning and looks forward shaking her head, "Like what Ever? Help you feel better? Help you get over Michael? That's the whole idea here silly."

I shrug my shoulders. Gabbi has been my one constant through this whole Michael thing. I resolve to trust her.

We pull up to a local hang out called The Rest Stop. It's a restaurant, arcade, and coffee shop all in one. Besides the movies and the field by the lake, both really just make out places, this is the only local hang out. We don't fall into the other two categories so this is the place for us. The bad part is that Michael is out and I have an uneasy feeling that we might run into him.

I panic and turn to Gabbi before she gets out of the car, "Really Gabbi, I have a headache. Maybe you should just take me home."

She smirks and shakes her head making me plead with her, "What if he's here?"

She smiles and climbs the rest of the way out of the car. I guess I can just sit in the car all night but I doubt she will let that fly. I reluctantly climb out and take a deep breath. _I can do this_.

My heart falls as soon as we walk through the door. All of my friends are there hanging out in the coffee shop. They are sitting at the same table as Michael and I presume this Brittany chick. I guess that's to be expected since we were together for three years. We have the same friends. My heart is breaking all over again at the sight of him with someone else. I turn right back around to head back out the door but Gabbi grabs my arm.

She whispers, "Ever, this is for your own good. The only way you are going to move on is to face up to it."

I glare at her shocked and whisper, "You did this on purpose; you knew he was going to be here with _her_?"

I just can't believe it, what happened to my concerned best friend?

She nods and admits, "You needed some intervention. I felt like I was losing you. I know you're mad at me but in the end you'll thank me. So let's go get a coffee and join everyone."

I can feel my mouth drop at the sheer disbelief of it. She can't possibly have any concern for me. Feeling very alone all of the sudden. I can't even respond to her my feelings are so hurt. She looks at the table longingly and makes a deal with me before I can react.

"If you are still not feeling it after thirty minutes we'll leave and go to a movie or something."

I can barely find my voice. I glance around and eye a chair at the exact opposite end of where they are. As I spot it I notice Reggie Jones sitting at the table. Gabbi has had a big time crush on him for about two years and they are finally starting to talk. I realize some of her motive now. I suppose for one night I can put Gabbi's greater good above my depression, as difficult as it will be because of her betrayal.

I glare at Gabbi and tell her, "Thirty minutes."

She smirks and we head for the table.

I glance over reluctantly and meet Michael's eyes. He nods and smiles. My heart falls because that smile used to be mine- now I'm just an outsider exchanging pleasantries. _Get me out of here._

I look at Gabbi's pleading eyes. Why do I let her talk me into these things?

As we approach the table, Michael and a couple of the other guys stand up in greeting and make introductions, as if I don't already know everyone except _her_.

My heart is skipping beats too much, I think. My palms are all sweaty and if I don't faint I might cause a scene in some other unpleasant way. I sit in the seat I pegged as far away from Michael and his new toy, as I can get. _This night can't end soon enough._

The group is talking about the new football coach coming to turn our school around. Half of the guys play football and our fearless Knights haven't won a game in two seasons. A new coach was finally hired and the players seem a little bit excited at the prospect of possibly winning a game. I try to concentrate on the conversation but I can't help stewing at Gabbi and Michael.

I've been coming here for the better part of my life and never in all of these years have I ever felt so uncomfortable being here.

Stealing a few glances at Michael's latest, I notice she is blonde and really skinny. I thought he liked girls with a little meat or more athletic. She couldn't be more opposite than me. She must feel my stare because she looks my way and glares daggers. I glance over at Gabbi but she is avoiding eye contact with me. I know she doesn't want to go but come on. I don't know how much more torture I can take.

Rachel and Duke are sitting at the table with me. Rachel and I have known each other since seventh grade. We were closer back then. Things really change in friendships when you start dating, I would know.

Rachel asks, "So Ever, how are your classes going?"

We don't have any together this year so we rarely see each other.

"I guess they're okay. How are yours?"

She tells me, "Well, I have Mr. Philips for English Lit and he caught me cheating yesterday, it was really bad."

She stops suddenly causing me to look up. She has a pained look on her face and grabs my hand to squeeze it while glancing in Michael's direction.

She whispers, "Sorry."

I shrug my shoulders and take my hand away.

_Get me out of here_.

Gabbi keeps checking on me when she thinks I'm not looking. The tension is thick around us. My other friend Jamie is sitting a couple seats down. I can tell in between conversations she is checking on me too. She has a 'poor Ever' look on her face. I try to smile and assure her that I'm fine but I can tell she doesn't believe it.

I should have stayed home. I resolve that when Gabbi tries to get me to go out again, I will hold my ground.

After everything the night didn't turn out to be a total loss. Gabbi made some headway with Reggie.

She doesn't know it yet but she is going to owe me big for this.

#

As the weeks roll by I slowly feel better. The idea that Michael is dating someone else still pisses me off but the pit in my stomach is slowly dissipating.

I am looking forward to the start of football season and swim training. Even though Michael is a football player and a good one at that, attending the games doesn't make me sad or depressed. Our school revolves around the sport and the new outlook with a new coach gives everyone something to look forward to this season.

The first game is coming up this Friday and of course everyone will be there. I had committed myself to hermitude after the Friday night coffee shop incident. Gabbi persisted each weekend but I held my ground which in the end, I was better off. Last Friday she even left me alone because she finally had her first date with Reggie.

Unlike most girls who date football players I am not a cheerleader. I know typical of me to break the stereotype but cheering does nothing for me. I prefer the drab wardrobe of an introvert opposed to the cute, frilly cheerleaders. I am friends with most of them and I can squeal like any other girl, just not in public for all to see.

Instead, I swim. I have been swimming competitively since I was ten. My family and I moved to Pahrump when I was nine. I found that after living in Chicago for the first part of my life with an actual winter and summer, Pahrump was excruciatingly hot so I took up swimming to keep cool. My parents will say that I'm a natural. I don't know that that is true but I do know that I feel at home in the water, especially when I win a meet.

I decided that today would be the day I start training, late October before the weather starts to turn when I can still use the lake instead of the community pool. I can't take the toddlers and their swim diapers.

I jump in my jeep and start driving the twenty miles to Little Lake. My dad found my jeep in the back of an old car lot and surprised me on my sixteenth birthday. It is a black older model with off road tires. He would bring me to the lake on the weekends and saw that I loved it so much more than the pool. He realized I needed a way to get myself there. I love driving it so the drive to the lake goes by fast.

As I pull up to the lake it's just as I'd hoped, deserted. It is best when no one is around. The problem occurs when I have to share it with fishermen. Usually that doesn't work out and I end up at the pool. Today though it's a perfectly cloudless sky and not a soul around.

Gabbi came to the lake with me only one time. She doesn't swim or play any sports. She is more the brain of our duo. She competes on the math and debate teams. She decided one day last season she would come for moral support and to spend some girl time since all of my off time was spent with Michael. Anyway, she hated it. It was spring so the ducks were out in full force. She is definitely not a big nature girl.

That decided it for me, the lake is mine alone. It's the only place I can come where no one will bother me.

The tall grasses surrounding the lake are usually a beautiful vibrant green in spring but now they are turning to sages and browns with the change of the seasons. I undress to my suit, stretch my arms and legs before wading in. The water is warm but feels refreshing because of the slight chill in the air.

I start out slowly and gather momentum with each stroke and kick. My body knows this feeling so well. I know I should take it easy for my first train of the season but this Michael thing makes me push harder. My muscles start to ache. Everything feels so much better after a straight hour of swimming. I lie on the bank and bask in the setting sun while savoring the warm fall day. My body feels completely refreshed on my drive back home.

The next day I drive over right after school for my second day of training. My muscles are sore from yesterday but I decide to push myself again. After all what is muscle memory all about? It feels good to have something to focus on that doesn't involve the opposite sex or the L word.

I strip down to my suit and wade in. After about five laps in my own world, I start to feel a shiver up my spine as if someone is watching me. I stop and tread water while glancing around. I must be imagining things. No one is around so I start the laps again. As I'm trying to focus on my breathing, I see something in my peripheral vision to the right of the lake and stop again. Now I'm starting to get spooked. Maybe there's an animal on the bank of the lake. Possibly this is a sign I need to leave. I stop again and look around. Something catches my eye. It looks like little bits of light jumping up and down over the tall grasses in the same spot. I envision someone with a flashlight. That doesn't make any sense though. I probably wouldn't be able to see it from this distance or with the bright sun shining.

I drag myself to the bank and rush to put on my shorts and tank. I round the grasses to the right of the lake trying to walk softly, but the dried grass crunches under my feet. It takes me forever to get around the lake but I don't want to startle whoever or whatever it is. _What are you doing Ever? Leaving would be the best choice in this situation. Have you never seen a scary movie?_ I continue walking curious, trying to ignore my inner voice.

As I round the last corner I notice a person lying in the grass on their back. As I get closer I realize it's a boy with dark hair about my age and he is listening to music through ear buds. His eyes are closed and he is doing something with his fingers. I see light bouncing up and down again almost like he is shining a flashlight around to the beat of his music. But I can't see anything in his hands. As I get a little closer I can see the light is coming from him. As if it is radiating out of his fingers. I stumble backwards in shock.

My feet stop suddenly and my breath hitches in a frightened state. Realizing I need to get out of here before he realizes someone else is here, I quickly turn around glancing back and as quiet as I can, jog in the other direction. I don't stop to look back again my body b-lines straight for my jeep on the opposite side of the lake. I hope he didn't see me.

I start the jeep flinching at the sound of the loud engine and glance in the direction of the opposite bank, still no sign of him. I take a deep breath and put the jeep in reverse. Whatever it is I don't want any part of it. I drive for a while sans music thinking about what I just saw. What in the world? There has to be a logical explanation. Maybe he had something in his hands after all.

This was the first night of the dreams.

#

I went home and decided not to repeat what I saw. After all I am in a state of heartbreak still, aren't I? I was unusually tired and turned in early, which of course alarmed my mom who had to go through the whole battery of taking my temperature and a thousand questions. I swear my parents know when anything unusual happens to me. My brother is the one who usually gets off question free. It is so not fair.

I'm running through the brush and grasses along the bank of the lake looking back frequently for something behind me. The grass is so dry it scratches my legs causing paper thin cuts that seep tiny drops of blood. My feet keep getting caught causing me to trip. My breathing is coming out so ragged, I'm sure my heart will burst. It feels like I am running for my life. I trip a final time and it feels as if someone has caught me. A strong hand grasps my arm and a voice calls out,"Gotcha!"

I wake with a start holding my breath while sitting straight up in bed. Then I start panting really hard and it feels like I just ran a marathon. After I catch my breath I get out of bed to get a glass of water. The dream made me so thirsty. I've never had a dream that felt so real like that before. My body starts to calm after a whole glass of water but I'm not sure I want to venture sleeping again. Checking the clock I find that it's only three o'clock in the morning, _ugh_. I still have three and a half more hours until I have to get up for school. I decide to try to sleep some more, all I need is circles under my eyes in the morning.

Suddenly, my alarm is going off. I'm so glad the dream gave me a break and didn't come back. It's Friday, our first football game of the season. I decide to show some team spirit; instead of my usual drab colors, I slip on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt featuring our school mascot – a Knight in the real flattering garnet and gold. A smile plays on my lips knowing that Gabbi will get a kick out of this.

As I park in the student parking lot Gabbi meets me at my jeep with Reggie. His arm is around her shoulders and they are giggling together. I guess they got pretty cozy real fast. I am so happy for her; I give her my best grin these days to show her how happy I am their new relationship. The first thing she notices is my infallible school spirit and she starts laughing. She ends up doubled over with Reggie giggling too, but both of us looking at her quizzically.

"So glad I could amuse you." I announce.

She straightens up quickly and apologizes, "Sorry I couldn't help it, you have not worn an ounce of color in a month. It's so nice to see you in something other than black."

I ask with a smile while teasing her, "And that is funny how?"

She just waves me off and asks, "We are on for tonight, right?"

I nod with a smile, "Oh yes, looking forward to it."

Her eyebrows go up as she asks, "To what do we owe this new and improved Ever? Are you finished mourning?"

I roll my eyes and shake my head smiling, "If you keep mentioning it I might regress."

She giggles and they walk off waving.

Now, to tackle first period which is always the hardest because Michael is in that class and it's World History, double whammy. Currently I am not a fan of any kind of history nor am I very good at it. I can remember anything from the periodic table but put historic dates in front of me and my brain shuts down. There's no future for me there.

I slowly walk into class early as I normally am. I would rather arrive first and watch Michael come in than vice versa. I hate that feeling when you walk in a room and everyone is staring at you. I would rather be the one doing the staring. I take my seat towards the back. The seat to the left of me is always empty now that Michael has found a new spot. The other three sides are all occupied.

Sasha to my right is a pretty good friend. We start up a conversation about the impending game and our predictions for the outcome.

Our teacher, Mr. Griggs walks in and greets us so I turn to face the front and notice in my peripheral vision the seat to my left is not empty as it should be. _No, Did Michael come back?_

I'm scared to look. My breathing starts to speed up. Slyly I turn my head to the left letting my hair fall into my eyes to mask my glance. My heart stops and my breath catches. _It's him, the boy from the lake._ I turn the other way quickly and realize I am going to hyperventilate or faint. _Ok Ever, you really didn't see anything, there really is some logical explanation as to why this boy's hands lit up like a Christmas tree in broad daylight. Calm down._

Then I hear Mr. Griggs voice drone on about a new student. What? What did he say? I totally missed it. As I glance over to the left the boy is just sitting back down after being introduced and our eyes meet. He smiles and I blush feeling warmth spread through my face and down my neck. Wow, his eyes are so mesmerizing, he is gorgeous. I keep staring unable to break the lock of his gaze. They are the bluest eyes I have ever seen. They look like the color I would imagine the ocean to be.

Suddenly I hear my name.

"Ever Harding," Mr. Griggs says loudly.

I break my trance and look around, all eyes are on me. I stammer, "Um, Yes Mr. Griggs?"

My body sinks further down into my seat.

"Ever, can you please pair up with Mr. Tanner and show him the assignments for this week?"

"Um yes, Mr. Griggs," I mumble.

Sasha bumps me with her elbow and asks, "What was that? You just phased out there for a sec."

I shrug my shoulders hoping not to draw any more unwanted attention.

Tanner I think, what is his first name? I glance over at him and he has a confused, almost frown on his face and he is staring straight at me. The warmth from my blush spreads again. I look forward embarrassed. Maybe my mom was right and I am coming down with something. I put my hand on my forehead to feel for a fever but my head feels pretty normal.

I lean over towards the new boy and without meeting his eyes ask, "Um, sorry I didn't get your first name."

He backs away and stutters like I surprised him, "It, It's Jack."

Then he glances the other way as if trying to avoid eye contact. His voice with just those two words rings in my ears. _What the hell is wrong with me?_

I lean over and whisper, "I have fourth period study hall in the library at twelve, can we meet then to ah, catch you up on the assignments?"

He nods without looking at me and looks up to Mr. Griggs. He doesn't glance my way again through the rest of the class. When the bell rings I look over and he's gone. I think I'm going crazy. Where is Gabbi when I need her?

Second period creaks slowly by because I want to be somewhere else. I practically run to English Lit to find Gabbi talking to Reggie. Lucky me, now I have to share her during our only class together. I sit down and she glances toward me smiling but does a double take when she sees my face.

"What is it?" she asks.

"You look like you've seen a ghost."

I take a deep breath and spill it.

Luckily Reggie is looking the other way talking to another friend. I give her the condensed version starting with yesterday at the lake. I had vowed not to mention it to anyone but now I reason, if anything happens to me at twelve, at least one person knows something.

Gabbi's mouth drops open but before she can respond our teacher walks in. I hold my breath for a minute concerned that Jack might have this class too? I scan the room and find he isn't here. I take a deep breath, _thank God_.

My mind drifts as our teacher, Mrs. Pine starts discussing West Side Story a story I've read a thousand times already.

I imagine walking into the library and Jack showing me that he has flashlights for hands. Maybe he is really an alien from another planet coming to take people back with him. I know fifth grade imaginings. I met Gabbi when I moved to Pahrump in fifth grade. She was my first friend and she's been the only really close one I've had through the years. We used to play in her tree house that is nestled in a huge oak in the middle of her two acre backyard. It is one of those multi-level thingys. I guess her dad wanted her to only have the best of everything being an only child. We would make up these stories about aliens coming down through the tree to abduct us and how life would be so different on another planet. We had the mysterious planet all figured out down to the clothing they wore and the language they spoke. Maybe we were on to something after all.

I smile at the memory and glance over at Gabbi. She is looking at me with a questioning look. I brush her off and focus on Mrs. Pine.

Class drags on forever. Finally as we walk to our lockers Gabbi is able to react to my story.

"Oh my God, are you really going to meet him in the library? Maybe you should skip it and say you forgot."

I shake my head, "Mr. Griggs asked me to help him. I'm probably making more out of this than it really is. I'll be fine Gabbi."

I realize that I sound a little more confident than I feel.

She raises her eyebrows, "Okay I will leave my phone on during my next class. Text me as soon as you are done. I want to hear everything."

I take a deep breath and start walking in the direction of the library.

As I walk through the doors I spot him. He is seated at a table in the far corner facing the window. The library doesn't have the best view. Directly outside the bank of windows is the parking lot where students park. Across the street is the park where I spent my first class a while back when I was mourning Michael. _Wait where is that flutter in my stomach when I think about him. Hhhmmm not there. Maybe I am finally getting over him._

I feel a new flutter, or more like a nervous rumbling.

As I approach Jack, he turns and smiles, "Hey, you made it."

As I smile back that familiar warm feeling spreads through my face and down my neck again. This time I hold his gaze. I could get lost in those eyes. They are almond shaped and the bluest I have ever seen. Getting a better look, I notice his brown hair is a little shaggy on top and falls across his right eye at times. He is a little lanky but still strong looking.

I don't know what it is about this guy but I am speechless. He offers the chair next to him so I slide into it. I have to make myself stop staring. I glance at the table and books piled in front of us. _Don't make a fool f yourself Ever._

He asks, "So what should I do to catch up in Mr. Grigg's class?"

I grab his book thankful to have something other than those eyes to focus on and explain, "Each week we are responsible for reading two chapters and completing questions with a project."

I continue, "Um, It's all listed in the syllabus."

He nods as I talk and smirks occasionally. My breath catches when I look up and find a little tilted smile at the corner of his lips. His full lips with that smile are so captivating and I lose track of where we were.

He asks, "Which classes do you have left?"

I have to think for a minute, my mind is scrambled.

"I have biology next," I answer nervously.

He smiles again and tells me, "So do I, will you show me the ropes in that class too?"

I reply quietly, "Definitely."

_Okay Ever, two classes with him, at some point you're going to have to get it together_.

Suddenly the events from the day before surfaces in my mind, causing me to frown and glance at his hands. He looks down at his hands at the same moment and then averts his eyes with a questioning look. I glance away embarrassed. His hands look normal, I'm just crazy.

He asks meeting my gaze again, "So do you eat lunch?"

I smirk, "Yes."

"Will you show me where the cafeteria is?"

I smile and stand eager to focus on something before I make a fool out of myself for staring. _What is wrong with me_?

As we walk down the hall and when I look up, I make eye contact with Michael. He is standing by his locker looking from Jack to me and back with a curious expression. I take the opportunity and give just a hint of a smile. _Ha! Let him be jealous it serves him right. This day is shaping up after all._

We enter the cafeteria and I immediately spot Gabbi and Reggie in the middle set of tables. They are sitting with Jamie and Roberta. I guide Jack to their table and everyone looks up as I introduce him.

Gabbi grabs my arm when we sit and whispers, "He is a cutie."

My lips turn upward, "I know right."

My normal lab partner in biology is a girl I don't really care for but I have to put up with anyway. Her name is Julia and she is the obnoxious version of Gabbi, if you can imagine. She doesn't ever stop talking about other people. It's different than Gabbi though because she talks down about them as if she is better than everyone else. She is tall, blonde and skinny. She always has the latest and greatest in clothes, shoes and whatever else, which doesn't help with her snob problem. Obviously she has a lot of issues. But who am I to point fingers?

When Jack and I enter the classroom I decide to steer us in the direction of a different lab table. We sit down and I begin to arrange my things. The next thing I notice is Julia leaning against the table with her arms crossed and a dirty look plastered across her features.

"Well, I guess I've lost my lab partner, Huh." she spits out.

I look at her with an equaling glare and say, "Guess so."

I feel like we're five year olds comparing mud pies while sticking our tongues out at each other.

Jack speaks up uncomfortably, "Sorry I didn't know, I can find another lab partner."

Julia looks at him like she just noticed he was sitting there and turns around on her heel to head back to my old table.

Jack apologizes again and I shake my head, "You did me a favor."

Our eyes meet again and I feel warmth again. Either I have a huge blushing problem or I'm getting sick as my mom thought.

Class begins and I glance at Jack to find him staring at me. I blush for the millionth time and look the other way. What is it with this guy? After class I tell him to have a good weekend and we part in opposite directions. I am now looking forward to Monday morning. I think history might turn around for me after all.

As I walk to my car I glance around and see Jack getting into an older yellow convertible 356 Porsche. I know this because that is the car my brother can't stop talking about. He got his license this year and begs my parents almost everyday for that car. So funny how things go around in circles.

I don't know if he saw me as he drove out of the lot because as usual, Gabbi was running to me yelling, "Tell me everything. You didn't text me. I have been dying."

I smile and tell her the short truth, "There is really nothing to tell. You saw him at lunch. His hands look normal. Obviously I was hallucinating and saw nothing at the lake. He is a nice guy that I am helping with homework, end of story."

I never mention how the warmth spreads when he smiles at me but then again that is a crazy girl's thoughts just like the lights I thought I saw on his hands.

She puts her hand on my shoulder and exclaims slyly, "Ever Harding I haven't seen that smile in a long time. Do I detect a little _like_ with this new boy?"

I shrug her hand off but can't lose my smile, "No Gabbs just friends."

She nods with her knowing smile. She is so silly. I climb into my jeep and tell her through the window, "Goodbye Gabbi. Don't forget to pick me up at seven for the game."

She starts walking and calls over her shoulder, "Of course I won't forget."

On the drive home I decide to go to the lake for a swim. I need a good swim. I make a quick stop at home for my suit and towel before the drive over. I wonder... but then push it out of my mind. It was a fluke that Jack was at the lake the last time I was there.

When I pull up to the lake I notice a local fisherman towards the opposite bank. It looks like he is the only other person here besides me. I knew I couldn't get lucky three times in the same week with no one here. Oh well, I will just have to keep my swimming on this end of the lake and hope I don't disturb him.

I get started and find my groove. The water is still warm. I can feel all the tension falling away as my body moves. I swim for about forty five minutes. It clears my mind and my body glides into the routine it knows so well. I'm focused and concentrating.

Suddenly I hear a huge splash. I stop and tread water looking around the lake finally finding the spot where the splash was made. It was toward the opposite bank. I look for the fisherman from earlier but he must have left. _That's weird._

I start swimming again and then I spot it, a large snake barley exposed in the water gliding through the water in my direction. Its head looks to be the size of my hand and I realize, I'm in trouble. Just great, this is what my mom was afraid of. I start swimming faster to the opposite bank and then I look up. Jack standing there with his arms crossed watching me swim for my life. _Unbelievable!_ It looks like he has a smile on his face too. Anger surfaces in me. He should be helping instead of smiling at me. There must be something wrong with this boy.

My heart is racing and I glance back. The snake is gaining with about fifteen feet between us but I'm about ten from the bank of the lake. I push my body to go faster. As I reach the bank, Jack offers his hand to help me out of the water. I glance back and the snake has made a detour to the other side of the lake losing interest in me.

I refuse his hand and look up as his lip turns up for that adorable half smile and warmth spreads through me.

I savor it for a moment but then I realize how his lack of help pissed me off.

"Were you just going to stand there and watch me get eaten?"

He is watching the snake for a moment. He averts his eyes and stares at me. This time I get a frown that turns into a smile.

"I knew you would be fine because you're a good swimmer."

I ramble on, "How do you know that I'm a good swimmer? I could have been killed? You should have gone for help."

He touches my shoulder for reassurance causing me to jump back. It feels as if a spark of electricity runs through my shoulder where he touched me.

"Sorry," he mumbles sadly and turns to walk out of the grasses.

I just stand there dumbfounded. What was that? Maybe this guy is bad news. I probably need to go before something else happens.

I gather my shorts, shoes and shirt and start walking toward my jeep which is in the opposite direction from where Jack walked. He didn't even say goodbye, whatever.

As I near my jeep I look up to find him leaning against it with his arms crossed and he's obviously amused by something. I keep walking past him with the intention of hopping in my jeep to leave. I can't deal with this right now. He blocks my way when I try to get in and looks down at me with a sad expression. I get a chill down my spine.

"What?" I ask him.

He steps out of the way staring down at me and apologizes, "Sorry I didn't run for help. I thought you would be fine. Look here you are, fine minus the bruised ego."

I whirl around, who does this guy think he is?

"Bruised ego! I could have really gotten eaten while you just stood there and watched." I exclaim baffled.

He chuckles with his little tilted smile and assures me, "Ever, I would never let that happen to you, aren't you over reacting a little."

I shrug my shoulders and reply sarcastically, "Guess we'll never know what you would have done, will we?"

I turn toward the jeep and tell him, "I have somewhere to be, have a good weekend."

He steps away and does a little wave with his hand.

This guy is way out there and just great, I have to sit with him in two of my classes.

I glance back at him as I get in the jeep and ask, "Why are you here anyway?"

He is already walking in the other direction so he doesn't hear me. I shrug my shoulders and start the engine. It roars to life. I glance back toward him but he's gone.

I blast my music and back out to the dirt road that will take me back to the highway. I just want to lose myself in the music and not overanalyze everything like I always do. I try for a few minutes but my mind drifts back to his eyes. Today they were that beautiful blue but something else about his eyes that I can't put my finger on. I keep playing all of the events over and over in my head. That tingly shock when he touched my shoulder. Then I found him at my jeep and when he looked at me, that's it. His eyes weren't blue when he looked at me. He seemed so sad. They were a shade of green like mine, I think.

Maybe I am imagining things again. I muse about the shock in my shoulder, his eyes, and the other day with the lights. Maybe I'm not crazy after all and I really saw lights coming from him.

I shake my head. I really must be going crazy. Here is this poor new guy and of all the people he could have been paired up with, he gets dark depressed Ever Harding. To top it all off I keep imagining things about him. What a lucky guy.

Maybe I should tell him that it would be best if he finds a new partner for biology and someone else to help him in history. First thing Monday morning I'll tell him. Now I feel better with the decision made and glance at the clock, 5:30. I need to get home and ready in time for Gabbi at seven.

When I walk into the house and announce I'm home, I'm greeted by silence. This is not unusual. I check for notes in the kitchen and find a scrawled message from my mom stating that they will see me at the football game tonight. It's the first game of the season so the whole town will be there. I get a snack and head for the shower.

As I round the corner to my room, I run straight into my brother, James.

"Hey watch it!" he yells.

I back up from alarm. When did he become so moody?

"Sorry, I didn't know you were there. Are you going to the game tonight?" I ask.

He looks up and replies animatedly, "Ugh, no, why would I go where everyone else in town will be?"

I shrug my shoulders and head to my room. James used to be such a nice kid. He just changed this year in the past few months. Maybe my parents are losing their touch.

After a shower, I head to my closet for the dreaded wardrobe search. I hate this part of the day. My wardrobe needs some definite improvements. I opt for the usual jeans and an eggplant colored T and glance at the clock, 6:30. There is still some time to kill so I take out my computer to check my email. Same old junk emails and an interesting one from Gabbi:

Ever, You will not believe what I found out about your new friend. He was kicked out of his last school in Los Angeles according to Brian who lives three houses down. Just sayin', you should be careful girl. Maybe he's a bad boy, which you don't need at this point! See you at 7. –Gabbs

Leave it to Gabbi to get information on anyone new. I could care less about where this guy came from or where he is going because I'll blow him off on Monday and that'll be the end of it.

#

On our way to the game Gabbi won't shut up about Jack and he's the last person I want to talk about. I don't tell her about the lake incident today because I've already decided that I'm not even going to talk to him anymore. I change the subject to another dreaded topic, Michael.

She stops talking mid -sentence and reacts with a gaping mouth, "This guy must have really gotten to you if you would rather talk about Michael."

I keep my eyes focused on the car ahead and tell her, " I really don't want to talk about any guys truthfully. I am giving them up this year because they are nothing but bad news."

Gabbi glances at me and asks, "Are you feeling alright Ever?"

I look at her and say, "Just let it be. I want to go to the game and forget about Michael and Jack and anyone else in that category."

She nods reluctantly and agrees, "Okey dokey girlfriend. Hey, what do you think about Rachel and Craig? I think they are finally hooking up."

I shrug and smile. Leave it to Gabbi to turn anything negative into positive vibes. She is truly a ray of sunshine when there are clouds. In other words, when I'm around.

When we pull into the dirt lot around the football field, I spot my parents at the concession stand getting their usual popcorn and soda. They can't come to a game without the full experience. Gabbi and I walk up and give them hugs. They offer for us to come and sit with them but we opt out.

Gabbi turns to me, "Ever, you have the coolest parents. They always treat you like an adult."

I shake my head, "No Gabbi, definitely parental figures. I think they are just trying to give me more space this year, especially after the breakup. They probably feel sorry for me."

Then I admit, "James, on the other hand, seems to be getting the same distance and it doesn't seem to be working out for him."

She agrees, "Tell me about it. I saw him walk out the door before you came out today. He looked all dark and miserable with his head down. Is he coming to the game tonight?"

I shake my head, "Ah no, we conversed barely before you came to pick me up and he made it sound like he wouldn't be caught dead here."

I shrug, "Whatever, let my parents deal with him."

Gabbi looks over toward the bleachers and points laughing, "Yeah, you have bigger fish to fry, so to speak."

I glance up and straight ahead is Michael's new flame sitting with all of our friends. _Oh great, I guess she's making herself right at home in my old spot._ I scan the bleachers further and spot Jack leaning on the far end staring at me.We make eye contact and I feel warm all over again.

I grab Gabbi's arm and pull her up into the bleachers before she can see him. We climb up to the far left end of the area where my ex's friend sits. Why does there have to be so much drama this year? Last year was so nice with no hassles. I sigh.

Gabbi looks over and asks, "What's wrong? We can go and sit somewhere else if you want." I look down the bleachers to where Jack was standing and he's gone.

I shake my head and tell her, "No, I'm fine."

I have to at least try to have fun. I glance to my right and I'm sitting next to a girl named Melody. She is holding hands with Mitch her boyfriend on the other side. _Great, more couples_.

The announcer starts introducing our players. We all clap and I start talking to Gabbi and Reggie about the team we are playing. Apparently they only lost two games the whole season last year. I cross my fingers for our team. They deserve a break. I hear Michael's name announced and my gaze raises automatically as he runs out. Someone steps in front of my line of sight and I focus to see who it is, Jack, of course. He walks in the direction of the parking lot. I look at Gabbi to see if she noticed but she's too engrossed in flirting with Reggie.

I tap her and whisper, "Hey, I'll be right back."

She nods not even glancing my way.

_Oh Ever, what are you doing, you swore this guy off_?

When I reach the bottom of the bleachers I look around but he's gone. I start walking in the direction of the lot thinking about what I will say to him. _"I'm just stalking you, don't be alarmed."_ I spot him across the lot leaning on his car. It's hard to miss that bright yellow car among other things. I decide to just tell him now that we shouldn't be partners in class. It's as good a time as any.

I approach him with an apprehensive look because I really don't know what to say. His amazing eyes meet mine and I want to melt.

"Hi" he says cheerily.

"Hi, I'm just checking to see if you are finding your way around." I tell him lamely.

He grins, "Yes, actually I came to get my bearings on the Friday night highlights of the town."

I chuckle and spread my hands, "This is it for the next three months, eat, sleep, and talk, football."

I ask, "Do you play?"

He shakes his head in the direction of the field with that half smile. I'm melting.

"Na I'll leave that to them."

"Do you play any sports?"

He laughs at that and doesn't respond right away.

I'm confused so I question, "Did I say something funny?"

"No, I'm laughing because I actually swim."

Oh, the jokes on me. The lake incident pops into my head.

"You would have jumped in at the lake if you needed to?" I inquire.

"Yes, but I wouldn't need to because you can hold your own in the water."

I admit, "Okay, so maybe I did over react just a little." I hold my thumb and forefinger up for effect.

He laughs and I can see it in his whole face.

I start looking around and meet his eyes again, "Would you be opposed to a race in the future?" I ask with a grin.

He raises his eyebrows, "You think you can beat the infamous Jack Tanner?"

I hold my breath for a second, "Should I have heard of you? Are you famous for swimming?"

He laughs again, "So naïve Ever. No I am not famous but I will give you a good race."

I grin and tell him, "You're on."

I can't explain how I feel around Jack but it's like no feeling I've ever felt. I feel so comfortable and charged with energy.

I glance at my watch and reluctantly tell him, "I told Gabbi I would be right back, she might be worried."

He nods and turns to get into his car. I start to walk back to the bleachers. Then I hear my name and turn to feel a blush spread over my face again at his gaze.

He calls out, "I'll see you on Monday."

I nod and give a little wave. Maybe Jack isn't so bad after all. I am actually feeling a little giddy. I guess my plan is changing again.

#

Monday morning comes quick and I am finally looking forward to school for the first time since the break up. Maybe things are finally turning around. I drive up to find Gabbi waiting by her bug, this can't be good. She always has some sort of gossip to share but by the look on her face, it doesn't seem like it could be good news today.

As I get out of the jeep she rushes to my door and whispers, "I heard more things."

I turn to look at her, "About what, Gabbi?"

As I grab my bag she rushes on, "About Jack, not only did he get kicked out of his last school but he also has a police record."

I look at her and shrug, "Maybe a bad boy will be good for me for a while."

Her mouth falls open, "You can't be seriously thinking about still talking to him."

I take a deep breath and explain, "Gabbi, I have been depressed and miserable for the better part of two months now. I am finally feeling better and if Jack has anything to do with it then so be it. I'm not going to ignore him because of something that happened somewhere else and has nothing to do with me."

Gabbi closes her mouth quickly and says simply, "Okay."

I tell her I'll see her later and head to class. She nods and walks the other way toward her first class. I know she means well but I am feeling much better these days. I don't need anything to bring me down. Maybe in third period I will let her know I didn't mean to snap. The last thing I need is Gabbi mad at me.

I walk into World History and Jack has beat me to class. He looks up as I sit down and takes his ear buds out. I ask, "What are you listening to?" He smiles and gives me one of the wires to listen.

"Eric Satie, classical." He tells me.

I listen to the clear and perfect melodies and exclaim, "It's beautiful."

Mr. Griggs walks in and I hand the ear bud back. As he takes it from me his finger grazes mine and I feel that tingly shock again. I pull my hand back reflexively and look at him wondering if he felt the same thing. He turns his eyes the other way almost as if he's trying to avoid me. I turn my attention to Sasha to see if she noticed and she is talking to someone in another row. I look back at Jack and he looks sad again with green eyes. I am about to ask about his eyes but Mr. Griggs asks for everyone's attention.

As class is ending I gather my bag and look up when the bell rings. I want to ask Jack about the tingly thing but he is gone. How does he do that? I guess I'll have to wait until biology to ask my questions. I am so confused about this guy. All these odd things about him pique my interest. He seems so mysterious.

I get the cold shoulder from Gabbi in English Lit until I apologize for this morning. She is so predictable. During the eight years that we have known each other she has never been able to hold a grudge. I, on the other hand, grudges are my specialty. That is probably why we get along so well.

I labor through the rest of the day eager to see Jack in biology. As I walk in I notice he isn't here yet. I sit at my "new" lab table and wait.

Julia walks in and takes a detour past my table stating, "Well it looks like you're the one without a partner today. Too bad because I already found a new one and she's way better than you."

I roll my eyes. Can she be any more childish? I wait and Jack never shows up. My heart sinks. As I replay the events from this morning, I think maybe he is the one avoiding me now. _Oh great._

Gabbi can read my face when I get to the jeep after school.

"What happened?" She asks.

"Nothing"

"Come on Ever, I know it's not nothing. Did you find out more about Jack?"

I shake my head distracted, "No, he didn't come to biology today. I think I'm gonna go and swim some stress off. I'll see you later."

"Okay. Oh look there's Reggie. Call me later." She glides off to join him without a backward glance.

I call out to her, "Hey Gabbs!"

She turns.

"Thanks for letting me know about... you know the Jack stuff. I'll be careful."

She shrugs and smiles, "That's what friends are for. I'm really glad you're feeling better." Then she turns and meets Reggie.

Well I was feeling better until he didn't show up to class and other things I can't quite explain. Leave it to me to find the moodiest person in the school to latch onto, besides myself.

I head home to get my swim stuff and run into James when I get there. He is in the kitchen sulking at the table listening to music. My parents still aren't home so I sit down and take an ear bud out of one of his ears. I suddenly remember listening to Jack's music that morning. It seems like it happened days ago.

I look at James and ask, "Are you alright? Do you want to talk?"

He takes the ear bud back and shakes his head putting it back in. Well then I guess I'm just zero for two today.

I take the steps two at a time to my room to get my swim stuff. I decide to check my email before leaving and click on a message from my gam-aw:

Ever,

Call me to talk about your upcoming birthday. The big eighteen! I would love to come down and celebrate.

Love,

Gam-aw

A smile reaches my lips picturing my gam-aw. She lives in Chicago and doesn't act like any other eighty year old. She uses email regularly and has an I Pod with not so ancient music on it. Occasionally she will call and ask about my current play list. My mom worries about her in Chicago living by herself but she prefers it that way. She is one strong old lady. She outlived my grandfather by ten years and seems to be just fine by herself. No other interesting emails so I gather my stuff and take off.

James is standing in the hallway at the foot of the stairs staring at me as I climb down. I stop in front of him afraid he'll bite my head off if I say anything. He looks so tired. There are huge purple blotches under his eyes.

He tells me, "Sorry for snapping at you earlier. I'm just not myself lately."

Tell me about it.

"It's okay James. Maybe you should talk to dad. I'm sure he will be able to help."

He shrugs and heads up to his room.

That is an area, if I'm right, that I don't have any specialty, nor do I want to talk about it with my brother. I'm having enough problems in the love department myself.

I start the jeep and head down the road. My music blasting as loud as the volume will allow. I lose myself in the music and the ride passes quickly. My body can anticipate the water as soon as it comes into view. Swimming is definitely my way of dealing with things. I need it almost as much as I need to breathe.

The Lake is deserted. The boat ramp lot across the lake is empty as well. Wonderful! I strip down to my one piece training suit and stretch. The water is lukewarm with the heat index rising lately. The Armagosa River runs into Little Lake refreshing the water and cooling it down but not today. It feels just like bath water. We are just forty five miles from Death Valley so it can get pretty hot.

I lose myself in the laps. My muscles tense with the workout. My mind clears as my sole focus is breathing. After swimming for an hour, I break a minute and head to the bank near my jeep. As I step out of the water, I notice Jack standing near just staring at me. We lock eyes and warmth spreads through my face and neck. Today is not the best day for more heat. His eyes are green and he looks down as if he's ashamed.

I walk toward him and ask, "What happened to you today?"

The questions keep rolling not even giving him a chance to answer.

"Why are you here every time I am? Why are your eyes blue most of the time and then they turn green? Why does it seem like you disappear when your eyes turn green?"

My voice resembles a whisper towards the end of my rant. Some of the things I am asking sound so absurd once spoken.

He turns and walks the other way. I follow him and touch his shoulder. It sends a shock up my arm. I withdraw and cower back. He turns around and glares at me seemingly angry.

"I was supposed to stay away. I wasn't supposed to get involved with you."

At this point my mouth drops open not understanding a word he is saying.

"What?" I ask dumbfounded.

He steps forward until his face is so close I can smell his sweet breath and fresh boy scent.

He says, "I was not the best um person for this because I can't stay away from you."

And he takes a deep breath like he's in pain and turns around walking in the other direction. I don't know what to do. I'm a little creeped out but he's walking away with answers to my questions. I've gotten a glimpse of happiness again and I don't want it to go away.

"Wait don't go." I plead.

He keeps walking with slouched shoulders as if the conversation has defeated him.

I take a step after him and request, "Hey, What about that race? I thought you were going to beat me."

I stand still and wait. After a moment he stops. I sigh. At least I got his attention. He turns after a full minute and a smile plays at the corner of his lips.

The blue creeps back into his eyes as he walks back slowly, "I'll race you but you'll be sorry."

"Really?" A smile spreads across my lips.

I set my towel down and wade into the water. He peels off his shirt and of course my heart skips. Lanky would not be the word to describe him. Actually the opposite, he is so muscular and solid. It takes my breath away to look at him. I turn back the other way embarrassed to be gawking.

We stand there looking at each other in knee deep water.

He leans over and challenges, "Ready, on your mark, get set, _go_ "

We both take off. I think I'm keeping a good pace when he starts to pass me half way across the lake. It doesn't even look like he's putting forth any effort. My arms and legs push harder with each stroke and kick. I'm gaining but he must notice because he starts speeding up. Whoa, this one's fast. We reach the other bank. He beats me by about five feet. I climb up the bank and land on my back next to him. We are both looking up at the sky. Our shoulders touch and that familiar spark radiates down my arm. This time I don't pull my shoulder away. I become aware that the initial shock of electricity doesn't stay. It tingles for a moment before warmth spreads from the spot where we touched. So his eyes and his touch, interesting and more mysterious than ever.

He turns his face toward mine and I can smell his fresh scent again, it's almost like I imagine the ocean smells, so intoxicating. My eyes close, listening as our breathing evens out.

He whispers, "I told you I'd win. You need to practice some more."

I open my eyes and see his taunting grin.

I stand up and start running back to the water.

"Oh yeah, well best out of three," I call out to him.

He makes a splash as he dives in after me. This time I know what I'm up against so I push myself as hard as I can. A glance to the side tells me he hasn't caught up yet. I keep going and reach the bank about three feet ahead of him. _Ha! Take that. Practice more, my butt._

He climbs the bank smiling and complaining, "You cheated."

I shake my head, "Nope, you lost fair and square."

It feels so good to be smiling again.

We lay on the bank basking in the setting sun.

I ask, "So are you getting to know your way around Pahrump?"

"It's starting to grow on me. How long have you lived here?"

I close my eyes again as my body relaxes and tell him, "We've lived here since I was in fifth grade. That is when I met Gabbi."

He seems relaxed as he requests, "Tell me about her."

The rest of the afternoon pretty much follows this pattern. He asks all about my family and friends. I do most of the talking afraid to ask him about himself. The last thing I want to do is scare him away. If Jack is my way of coping these days, so be it. I resolve that the answers to my questions will probably come, in time. I can wait.

#

That night I wake up at three o'clock again from another dream; _I'm at the lake again and I'm being chased but it doesn't feel like I'm alone. It feels as if someone is running beside me but I can't seem to turn my head to see who it is. My chest heaves for a breath but I can't seem to get any air. As soon as I gasp, a hand grabs my arm yelling,"Gotcha!"_

I sit straight up in bed. The desperate thirst is there again. It feels as if I ran across the desert.

I clop down to get a glass of water and James is sitting at the kitchen table. He jumps when I walk in. I must have startled him.

"Sorry." I mumble.

"I'm just down for a glass of water. Why are you down here?"

He looks up, _whoa_ , hello circles under the eyes.

"I couldn't sleep."

I sit down across from him with my water and ask, "Are you sure you are alright?"

He shrugs his shoulders. The infamous Harding shrug.

I continue, "Did you end up talking to dad?"

He looks squeamish suddenly and answers, "Not exactly."

Okay, mysterious new friend, mysterious brother, what is going on with my life?

"Well if there is anything I can do James, please let me know."

He shakes his head, gets up and says goodnight. Note to self, discuss brother's behavior with the parental figures.

Back in my room I wrestle with whether to venture back to sleep. These dreams seem to exhaust me. That's different, wake up exhausted after sleeping. However, no circles under the eyes is more appealing so I collapse hoping for sound sleep.

My alarm sings at six thirty on the dot and again I'm thankful for a dreamless night.

The thought of Jack at school seems to rush along my morning routine. His name brings a smile to my lips and a tingle in my belly.

My wardrobe has brightened a little. Today warrants a flowery, yellow top with my jeans and an actual headband. I have been anti-hair accessories since my mom tried to force them on me in the third grade. I'm feeling, different, better.

Finding a spot for the jeep in the lot, I immediately notice the yellow car. This brings another smile which is a record for the day already. Gabbi runs up before I can even check to see if Jack is by his car. She has brilliant news judging by the vibrance of her ensemble, pink pants and a multi-colored top with her ever present smile.

"Ever, Ever you will never guess what happened." She giggles out of breath.

I look at her expectantly.

"He kissed me, Reggie kissed me!"

A huge grin reaches my lips. She has been waiting for this for the better part of two years now. I give her a big hug and do the giggly girl thing. A glance past her brings Jack into my line of vision. He is staring at me but not with a smile. His mouth is downturned almost frowning and I can see that his eyes are green again. _I have to get to the bottom of this._

"Hey Gabbi, we should go to class before we're late."

She agrees, "I just can't believe it, can you?"

My genuine smile tells her I am thrilled for her. We part and head in opposite directions. Before I reach the doors leading into the building, Jack grabs my arm and pulls me around the corner of the building. This startles me. I didn't even see him waiting there. The shock resonates on my arm as his grasp tightens and warmth spreads.

I look up at him and see the green in his eyes. Suddenly it hits me. His eyes are always clear blue when he is happy and in a good mood. The green seems to sink in and change when his mood goes down. Wow, talk about mood swings.

He whispers with urgency, "Ever, we have to get out of here."

I stammer, "But we didn't even go to our first class yet. Why?"

He starts walking in the direction of the park on the other side of the building dragging me behind him. He keeps glancing behind us as if someone is back there. I look back and there are only students going to class, where I should be going. My parents trust me because I always do what is expected of me. I've earned that trust. Skipping class without a reason makes me feel really uneasy and untrustworthy.

I stop planting my feet in one spot causing Jack to stumble. He releases his grasp on my arm and catches himself before he falls. He pleads with those beautiful but concerned green eyes, "Come on Ever, please trust me."

There is that word, I was just thinking about trust.

I cross my arms and shrug, "Not until you start answering some of my questions."

He looks around nervously. "Okay we will talk but not here. It isn't safe."

I look around and see no one. Now _I'm_ starting to get concerned and my heart is starting to beat faster. Maybe it isn't safe to be alone with him.

I reason that I really don't know a whole lot about him and ask reluctantly, "Okay where are we going?"

He looks around again and blue creeps back into his eyes. "Just across the street to the park," he adds, "To talk."

We walk silently. He seems a lot more relaxed now than he was a minute ago.

Talk about whiplash of the moods.

As we approach the park he still looks a little bit uneasy while glancing around for what, I have no clue. We sit on a bench and he looks into my eyes. Whoa, totally clear and blue. The warmth spreads through me.

He grabs my hand causing shock and warmth all at once and directs, "Hit me with the questions."

At this point, my brain is mush. What did I want to know again? I can't think clearly looking into those eyes. I look away and gather my thoughts.

After a couple of minutes I look up at him and start slowly, "Okay, first off tell me why I am not in World History right now listening to Mr. Griggs drone on about the Civil War?"

He looks around for the umpteenth time and answers, "It is really complicated and now is not the best time or place to go into great detail. Let's just say there was someone hanging around the parking lot watching you this morning."

I shrug again, "Jack, if you haven't noticed we are high school students and that's what everyone does. They watch each other so they have something to talk about."

He doesn't look amused and I get the feeling he wasn't thinking about anyone we go to school with.

I shrug and state, "Well aren't you a little paranoid today."

He smirks, "You have no idea."

I sigh, "I am trying to get an idea but you are so cryptic."

He just stares at me with no response. _Great_. Moving on...

"Okay next question, why are you always at the lake when I am? Are you stalking me?" I grin hoping to lighten the mood.

He smiles and answers, "No I am not stalking you. At least not in the way you think. I live over by the lake and go there after school to take a break."

I look around, "Oh"

That was an easy one. We're getting somewhere now.

I approach the next one with a little uneasiness, "Why do your eyes change colors and why didn't you come to biology yesterday?

He doesn't answer right away. He looks like he is having an inner monologue about what to tell me.

Finally he responds, "First of all that's two questions but I will answer both of them. I missed biology yesterday because I was needed at home."

Never heard the home word from Jack, I was wondering.

He continues, "My eyes change colors according to my mood. It kind of runs in my family."

He gives me that adorable half smile.

I grin back and tell him, "I kind of figured that one out with your erratic mood changes. That's um, different. I've never heard of that."

He nods glancing around again, "I know it's strange but others in my family have the same trait."

At this point, I am ready to lay it all out there and ask some questions that I know will make him squirm but he stands up. I frown at him because I'm not done.

Before I can say anything else he states, "Okay, time to go. Let's head to class now."

I'm so confused, "I thought we weren't safe."

He offers his hand to help me up but I refuse crossing my arms.

He chuckles, "Ever, you are so stubborn. You are safe now. The person watching you is gone."

I relax a little and point at him, "You aren't done answering my questions."

He smirks and offers his hand again. I take it this time. As I stand up he turns me toward him to look me straight in the eyes that vast blue like the ocean. I think I'm going to faint.

"Ever, I know we aren't finished talking and I will gladly answer all of your questions, soon."

All I can do is nod. He takes my hand and leads me back in the direction of school.

I'm running along the lake again and I trip but someone catches my arm before I can fall. I glance over and Jack is running alongside me. His eyes are cloudy green and worried, almost like he's in pain. We come to a stop at the edge of a cliff and I wake up gasping out of breath.

That one was interesting. So now Jack is in my dreams. That's a nice change but I've never seen him look so sad. My heart hangs _._

I trek down the stairs for water. This time I'm alone in the kitchen and I opt for sleep over circles.

#

Unfortunately, sleep didn't trump the circles this time. I woke up one more time from the same dream except this time we jumped off the cliff. So glad I didn't stay in that one to see how it ended.

My wardrobe is back to the usual drab jeans and dark blue. Tired but not depressed is the difference though. I am really looking forward to seeing Jack today. Just hoping he doesn't have any more paranoid delusions.

My cell phone rings on my way to school and it's Gam-aw. Oops, I forgot to call her about the birthday. She wants to know what I have planned. I tell her I'm not sure because it is still a month away. She is shocked telling me that this is a big one and I should really celebrate. I brush her off because it's just another birthday. I tell her to call my mom to make a plan. I will go along with whatever they decide. She consents and tells me to keep in touch.

I pull into a spot and watch as Jack walks across the lot to greet me. A smile creeps to my lips. I think I am really falling for this guy and I haven't even known him for a month. _Slow down, Ever, or heartbreak will come your way_. That's my warning voice which I choose not to listen to.

Jack walks up and greets me, "Good morning."

Smile... blue eyes... I'm melting.

I smile shyly and say "It's definitely good now."

He grins but I can see some green seep into his eyes. He seems to have some kind of inner conflict.

We walk to class laughing about our next race at the lake. I tell him I can't make it out there today because I have to discuss my troubled brother with my parents. His eyes cloud up like in my dream when I mention my brother. He smiles to hide it but I know I saw it.

Then Mr. Griggs walks in. We won't be able to really talk again until biology, that is, if he shows up today.

In third period, Gabbi asks how things are going. I think it's obvious Jack has been a good thing for me.

She tells me, "You look so much brighter these days."

I nod.

She gives me her warning again, "Just be careful girl. I don't want to see you get hurt again."

I don't even acknowledge her. I know she means well and she's been with me since fifth grade but I am really digging Jack and I don't want anything to put a damper on my new improved mood.

I change the subject, "How is Reggie?"

She brightens gushing, "Great, guess what?"

"He is taking me to the movies on Friday night for a real date."

I laugh, "Well it's about time. That sounds like fun."

Then she suggests that maybe Jack and I can go too. This brings to light that we really haven't done anything planned together. I really only see him at school or unplanned at the lake.

The idea appeals to me so I tell Gabbi, "I'll ask him if he wants to go."

Making the decision for myself that this will really define what this whole thing between us is, if anything.

Biology has become the best part of the day for me. First, it's the last class of the day, science which I love, and Jack, three stars in my book.

As class ends he walks me to the jeep.

He asks nervously before I get in, "Would you like to take a trip to the beach with me this weekend?"

I glance at him with a smirk like he is joking but he looks dead serious.

"I've never been to the beach and truthfully I'm not sure my parents will approve."

Then it occurs to me and I ask, "Isn't it like a day- long drive?"

He laughs, "Not quite, a few hours is all."

I like the idea so I reason, "Why don't you come for Friday night dinner so my parents can make sure you're a good guy."

He nods.

I quickly add, "Then maybe we can catch a movie with Gabbi and Reggie."

He smiles, "Sounds like a plan."

I drive home and gather my thoughts for my talk with my parents about James. I know he would be upset with me, knowing I was going behind his back but I'm worried about him and his erratic moodiness.

When I get home I have time to kill but not enough to go and swim so I sit at the computer. No emails, but a thought suddenly grabs me.

I type Jack Tanner in the search box almost absentmindedly and press enter. Not sure I want to know what it will turn up. The search is over and the results are many. I scan them:

Jack Tanner lawyer in Florida-no.

Jack Tanner artist in Maine-no.

Third one down- Jack Tanner – LA Times- High School Student Stalks Cheerleader and Destroys School Property.

I click on it wincing and telling myself that it doesn't matter; he's a good guy and whatever happened in the past stays in the past.

The article reads like a synopsis of a story with quotes from students and faculty members: Apparently, Jack Tanner a student attending LA High transferred in from another school and about a month later he wouldn't leave a cheerleader alone after she asked him multiple times to stop harassing her. Additionally, the gym was completely destroyed from a flood of water. The damages were in the thousands of dollars. The witness accounts were only about the stalking. No one had a first- hand account of what actually happened in the gym. Some witnesses saw him leaving the damaged scene.

Well, this is different and definitely not what I expected. Gabbi was right. Jack does have a record and he was kicked out of his last school. _Does this change how I feel about him... no. But boy does it add to my long list of questions for him._

I hear the door downstairs open and close so I hop up. It's five o'clock on the dot, my mom must be home. I wash my face and head down to the kitchen.

As I enter the space I greet her, "Hey, How was your day?"

She looks tired.

She tells me, "Great but long. I'm looking forward to relaxing."

My mom is a member of the city council. She works so hard. Everyone says I get my auburn locks from her and my green eyes from my dad. James is the opposite, brown eyes from my mom and light hair from my dad. My swimming and James' music comes from neither, go figure.

I ask, "When will dad be home?"

I would rather talk to both of them at the same time.

"Oh, I guess around six as long as there are no last minute surgery reschedules."

I do have to say, we see my dad a whole lot more now than we did in Chicago. I guess I get their reasoning about family time and quality of life stuff. She moves quickly around the kitchen making dinner.

"Okay I just wanted to talk to you both tonight about something." This gets her attention and she stops to look at me.

"Ever, is everything alright?"

"Yeah mom fine, I just wanted to talk to both of you together, Trust me it's no big deal."

She focuses on making dinner. I start picking at some of the vegetables she is cutting and she taps my hand away smiling. Gabbi is right, I do have great parents. They were always fair while I was growing up. I think I get my calm demeanor from both of them. Gabbi's parents have had some big blow ups which is evidence that they are a little more uptight than mine.

My mom asks, "So how's it going with the college applications?"

Ugh, this is another thorn in my side these days. Michael and I had plans for college next year. I was going to apply to the colleges scouting him for football. Then we would be ready go together. Yet another unknown in my life right now.

I drag my feet, "Well mom... I haven't really given much thought in light of recent events."

She relents, "I know it's not a good subject now Ever, but you have to start the process."

I just nod and turn to walk out of the kitchen, not wanting to continue the conversation.

Then, I remember..."I talked to Gam-aw today. She called me at 4 o'clock, her time this morning, she must never sleep."

My mom chuckles, "She is getting up there, I guess your sleep patterns change when you get older."

I agree, "Yeah she wanted to talk about my birthday, but truthfully mom; I really don't care what we do."

She smiles and says almost as if to herself, "Well, this is a pretty big one, we should celebrate accordingly."

I mumble, "Alright you and Gam-aw plan and I'll just show up."

At this point, it seems as if I've lost her attention, she just nods and keeps going about making dinner.

I turn and walk out of the kitchen. Guess I'll approach the Jack subject at dinner. Which will leave our James talk for after dinner. Hopefully, he won't be around or we won't be having a James talk. I head back up to my room and check my email again. There's a message from an address I've never seen before and I'm about to delete it when I see the subject: _Jack Tanner_ ....

I click on it and staring back at me is a pasted copy of the article about Jack and his Los Angeles misfortune. _Ha, whoever you are, I already know_. Then my mind starts to wonder who would send this to me. Maybe Michael is jealous and trying to give me helpful information in my love life decisions. But in the end it doesn't really matter, I still have every intention of discussing the subject with Jack.

Dinner smells start to waft up to my room and I am lured back downstairs. I help set the table and sit down as dinner is done.

I look around and ask my mom, "Where's James?"

She replies absentmindedly, "He told me he has band practice at six so he will eat when he gets home."

I notice this is happening more and more, they would have put their foot down if it was me at his age. Maybe I should take back my previous musing, involving my parents and the concept of being fair, dumb double standard.

During dinner I approach the Jack subject.

"Mom, Dad ... um...I kind of met a new guy."

They both look up at each other and grin. I knew this would be their reaction. My mom won't stop asking if I've met anyone new lately. This isn't the hurdle, the beach is.

So, I proceed with caution, "His name is Jack and he is from Los Angeles.

I add quickly, "He is also a swimmer but not competitively."

My dad speaks up, "Go on."

"Well, he has asked me to go to the beach with him on Saturday."

Before they can decline I quickly continue, "I told him he had to come over for Friday night dinner to meet you before I can go with him."

Deep breath, fingers crossed.

My mom speaks up first, "I love it that you invited him to dinner, what would you like me to make?"

This is going well. I shrug, "Mom everything you make is great, I'm sure Jack will like whatever you choose."

My dad sighs, "You do know how far the beach is, don't you, Ever?"

I glance at him and slowly nod.

He replies, "It's over two hundred miles."

I look from one to the other. "We will leave really early then..." I add for good measure, "I've never been there."

I feel like I'm back in fifth grade begging to spend the night at Gabbi's for the first time. My mom looks at my dad as if he gets to make the final decision, that unspoken language of being together forever.

"I will say yes for now, but only as long as we get to meet this Jack on Friday."

I can't help myself; I bound out of my chair and give them both a hug.

I am about to run up the stairs when my mom asks, "Is that what you needed to talk to us about?"

I almost slap myself in the head, so selfish.

I turn and stand at the end of the table, "No, actually I wanted to talk to you about James."

They both look at me as if I know something about my brother that they don't.

I assure them, "He is just acting strange and I was concerned. I know he's going through the whole boy, teenager thing but I just wanted to let you know."

They both brush me off like it's just hormones or testosterone; whatever he's going through is due to his age. I guess they have it under control. I bound up the steps to tell Gabbi, I am finally going to the beach. I feel so free suddenly.

#

Friday rolls around and Jack knocks right on time, six o'clock on the dot. I am hoping my dad doesn't get held up because that might postpone my beach trip if he doesn't meet Jack. I lead him into the kitchen to meet my mom. She stops cooking and gives him a hug. We're a really touchy, feely family. His eyes are as blue as the sky today and he grins at my mom. Suddenly another question comes to me, does he do that heat thing to everyone he smiles at and touches. Not sure I like that prospect, if that's the case. I like to think that is special only to me. He smiles and charms my mom like I knew he would.

James is home for a change sitting in the living room watching T.V. We go in and I make introductions. James looks up and glares a little but doesn't say anything. I'm not sure what to make of that, maybe just overprotective, of his older sister. Not sure. He liked Michael and I see them hanging out at school sometimes, which does not make me too thrilled.

We walk out to the front porch to sit on the bench swing. The fans are on full power and there is a tiny breeze blowing through. Jack rests his arm on the back of the swing so I lean into him. We sit and swing for a while. I apologize for my brother's rude behavior but he shrugs it off.

I'm too curious about this electricity thing that I can't keep myself from asking, "Hey, I was wondering, I know it sounds kind of corny but every time you touch me, I get a surge of electricity where you touched me." Now that I have said it aloud, I realize how crazy I actually sound.

He has a goofy grin on his face, "Really, well that's interesting, the same thing happens when you smile at me or," he grabs my hand, "touch me."

I frown, "Why?"

He shrugs his shoulders, "I'm not sure, but I know I like it."

I am shell shocked. News to Ever, you create electricity. I must look appalled because his eyes start to cloud over.

I look into them and assure him, "No don't worry, I love it!"

I smile hoping he is feeling the same warmth I am. He grins with clear eyes. I'm about to ask him if this has ever happened before to him, when I hear my dad pull into the drive.

Jack and I stand as my dad climbs the porch steps. I make introductions and they shake hands. I'm still smiling thinking about our conversation. _Getting less and less freaked out, this is good_.

We all walk in as my mom is putting dinner on the table. I notice she went for the down home staple, pot roast. Hope he likes it. We all sit down and dig in. The conversation is flowing freely and everyone is getting along great except James. He joins in the conversation with my mom and dad but seems to avoid Jack at all costs. Great, I hope my parents don't notice. If he ruins my beach trip I will be furious.

Dinner ends and Jack and I go back out to the porch swing.

He looks conflicted so I say, "That went well, are we still on for the beach tomorrow?"

He looks up at me and says, "Absolutely, looking forward to it but I think we should skip the movies tonight."

He stands up abruptly and tells me, "I should go, especially if we are leaving at six in the morning."

I stand up confused and follow him down to his car. He turns around and I notice his eyes are green again.

I grab his hand and ask, "What's wrong Jack? I know my family is odd but...did you have fun?"

He looks up from staring at the ground and our eyes meet. "Of course I had fun, your family is great and your mom's pot roast, impeccable. I just have some things on my mind. Don't worry."

I look into those eyes and I can see the blue move in like a wave is pushing the green out. He gently cradles my cheeks in his hands and leans down letting his lips graze mine in a gentle kiss. Electricity spreads through every part of my body. It lasts only a split second but oh I could go for more...

He smiles and gets into his car, "I'll see you at six sharp."

Then he drives away.

I reach up and touch my lips. I can still feel the electricity where it was strongest on my lips. He said I do the same to him. I wonder if his lips are tingling right now. I think I am falling hard. I sure hope it isn't a mistake.

Running, running through trees this time, I don't see a lake, just the impending cliff ahead. Jack looks over at me, grabs my hand and we jump into the abyss. Then I feel the cool water and the taste, salty. I burst through the water for air.

I sit straight up in bed gasping _._

This is becoming a bad routine. Ugh, I climb the stairs back down to the kitchen and find James sitting there. He looks horrible. He looks up as if he's expecting me. I didn't get a chance earlier to ask why he was so rude to Jack but the middle of the night isn't a good time. I get a glass of water and decide to stand. James realizes I'm not going to sit down so he stands and moves closer as I drink my water.

He tells me in a scratchy voice, "You should stay away from Jack, he's bad news."

I put my glass down a little too hard, and water bounces back out covering the counter.

I glare and hiss, "And why is that? Why were you so rude to him tonight?"

He just shakes his head. "He has a police record and he's not a good person for you, Ever."

Realization..."Did you send me the news article about him?"

Recognition in his eyes, of course my little brother was looking out for me.

I soften a little, "Don't worry, James, he's a good guy."

He shakes his head again and walks out saying under his breath, "Don't say I didn't warn you."

I finish my water and walk back to my room. James' door is closed so I guess the conversation is too. I wonder where this is coming from. James has never been so interested in my love life. I drift off to a dreamless sleep, finally.

My five o"clock alarm rings and I trudge to the bathroom. The shower refreshes me and I feel energized for the day. A whole day with just me and Jack, he won't have anywhere to run. I'll get all of my questions answered today. My heart speeds up at the thought of him and that kiss last night.

I pack a picnic lunch of cheese, crackers, lunchmeats and fruit in a cooler and grab some towels. I decide on a yellow two piece bikini instead of my drab one piece, training suits. Six rolls around and so does the knock on the door. I greet him and he brushes my hair out of my eye, tingly shock. I smile and do the same. I can tell he got the same shock as me. _Oh, I can really get used to this._

We climb into the Porsche and I glance back to the house. My eyes meet James' looking out his bedroom window, I see him shake his head and he's gone. I feel a shiver down my back, that's not good. I wonder, but then remind myself, my little brother hasn't had a real relationship with a girl yet. He doesn't know or understand. I refuse to let him ruin my day, so I put it out of my mind.

Jack grabs my hand and we enjoy the silence as we drive. I know it's a long drive and I really have a captive audience but I want to hold off on the questions until he can concentrate on the answers and not driving. After about an hour, we stop to put the top down on the car. The day is going to be beautiful.

The air changes as we get closer to the beach. It feels so invigorating. I see Jack glancing at me out of the corner of his eye. I turn to face him and he has this look on his face, like he's about to ask a question but he doesn't say anything. I glance around as the scenery changes. California is beautiful as the land transforms before my eyes. The barren brown sand slowly turns into lush landscapes of green with tall, immense trees. I can see the shape of the mountains in the distance. Finally I can tell we are really close to the beach. I can just smell it. There is a little flutter in my stomach, which I am attributing to the anticipation of another kiss. _Smile._

Jack looks over at me expectantly, as the ocean comes into view. I hold my breath when I see it. The horizon is breathtaking. I look at him and I can see the smile in his whole face. His eyes are the bluest I have ever seen them. Now that I've seen it, I can't wait to get my feet in the sand and touch the cool water. The car slowly climbs down the steep road into the lot where we find a parking space. I look at Jack pleadingly and he just nods like he knows what I want. I take off toward the water, like my brain isn't controlling me. I can't help it; I need to be in that water. I can't get my clothes off fast enough. As soon as the water touches my toes, I feel a familiar warmth rise up through my body. I step further in until only my head is exposed. I have never felt anything so exhilarating in my life.

Jack brings our load of supplies down from the car and strips down to his swim trunks. He walks in and comes face to face with me. His smile is as intoxicating as the water I'm in. Then I feel his hands around my waist and he lowers his mouth so that our lips touch gently. At first just a gentle graze then he kisses me harder. Definitely not like last night... this one lasts a long time and I feel electricity everywhere coming up through my toes and down through my lips. I could lose myself right here and now. I can't imagine anything ever better than this. His lips are so soft and searching as if we just can't have any space between us. We finally part for air. His eyes are so blue I think I can see through them....no they look just like the water we are standing in, so pure.

He asks, "Are you alright?"

Somehow I know that he knows already that I am more than fine, but I nod with a smile and say, "Let's swim."

We swim and play in the waves for a couple of hours. Then we lie out on the towels and dig into our picnic. I packed so many things not knowing what Jack prefers. He eats a little of everything, so I guess he's pretty easy to please.

I claim, "If I would have known about this big, blue glorious place, I would have come a lot sooner."

He smiles and tells me, "Now is the perfect time, I'm glad I could share your first visit with you."

I grin and lean back, savoring the warmth of the sun feeling like now is a good time to tackle the task at hand.

I start, "Jack, I still have a lot of questions."

He nods and glances out at the water, "I know Ever, and I am going to answer every one of them to the best of my ability."

He averts his eyes to meet mine, "Just know first, that you aren't going to like all of my answers, and second I am answering them against my better judgment because I shouldn't be answering them."

_So cryptic again_.

Okay here goes, "My first question is really about this connection we have, why do we have this and why does it cause all kinds of electricity and warmth when we touch?"

He looks sad at this point, that's the last thing I wanted on this amazing day. Before he can answer I ask, "Why are you so sad?"

He looks at me and takes a deep breath and grabs my hand, "Ever, the connection we have, unfortunately, I can't explain, but I think it is wonderful. The way I feel about you is just... I have never felt like this before, about anyone."

He shakes his head and says, "Things are really a lot bigger than us."

He looks away staring out at the water.

I ask confused, "What do you mean things?"

He turns to stare at me and says nothing.

I can feel my temper rising so I tell him, "Look, Jack, if you don't want to answer my questions fine, but I don't think it's fair that I have told you a lot about myself and I know almost nothing about you."

His eyes meet mine and I can see the torment and green. I start to stand up, this is really frustrating, and I am losing my patience for his moodiness.

He grabs my hand and pleads, "Wait."

I feel the warmth that gets me every time and look down, "Am I going to get some answers or should we head back home?"

He decides, "Yes, I'll tell you as much as I can."

He pats the towel beside him. I sit back down and cross my arms. _He better not touch me, I'm not falling for it anymore._

He starts again, "Well for you and your brother, eighteen is a big birthday."

I've heard that one before, Gam-aw keeps saying the same thing.

"When you turn eighteen you have a decision to make that can lead your life in two very different directions."

I look up and ask, "Okay, obviously you know I will be eighteen in less than a month, what does this have to do with you and me?"

I can tell he is getting uneasy because he doesn't answer right away and he glances out to the ocean as if the answer is out there.

He gets up suddenly and suggests we take a walk down the beach. He lifts me up and gives me a quick kiss. _Don't know if I will ever be used to that, I like that prospect, smile._

I say slowly, "Okay, so what decision do I have to make when I turn eighteen, besides where to go to college?"

He keeps walking but he grabs my hand, _captive audience huh_.

"Ever, there is another world ...besides here... in the sea."

I respond, "Yeah, like fish and stuff, but what does that have to do with you telling me about yourself?"

He stumbles over his words, "There are...there are actually people that live there too, they are called mer-people. When you turn eighteen, you will have to decide to stay on land or live in the sea."

I stop walking and because we are holding hands, so does he. He doesn't turn around though, I think, to try and let me process. I can't get a clear thought at this point. _Mermaids, that is fiction stuff, there's no such thing_. Jack slowly turns around with a pained expression.

I stammer and pull my hand away, "There is no such thing."

He slowly starts to smile his perfect little half-smile, "Yes there is, they are very real and they live right over there." He points out to the ocean.

I sit down right there in the sand; I think I will faint if I don't. Jack sits down too, and grabs my hand again. We just sit there in silence for what seems like forever. I can tell he keeps looking at me, but I can't look at him.

I focus on the sand in front of me and ask, "What does that mean for you, are you a ...are you from...there?"

He slowly nods answering softly, "Yes."

Then he looks down at the sand in front of him, as if he is ashamed.

I can't get a grip, this is ridiculous. Why would Jack bring me to the beach and tell me unbelievable stories about mermaids. Unless he wants me to think he's crazy and break off whatever this thing between us is. Maybe James knows something I don't. Maybe he is stalking me like that girl in Los Angeles.

He interrupts my inner conflict and asks, "Would you like to see what we can do?"

I nod uneasily, not having a clue. I thought mermaids had big fishlike tales and gills. I saw a movie once where they ate humans. Oh if that is true... I so hope it isn't.

He leads me around an island of rocks, onto a deserted area of the beach, more like a secluded cove. He takes me up on shore where there are large rolling rocks and sea grasses right before the forest starts. He tells me to watch a big rock about the size of a beach ball, about five feet in front of us. Suddenly it lifts into the air and soars through the air for about three feet, where it sets down softly. Jack glances at me with scared green eyes. I can't speak.

When I finally find my voice I ask softly, "How did you do that?"

He half smiles and explains, "When you are a mer-person, you have different 'wills' that allow you to do things, such as move things without touching them."

I just say, "Oh."

He says, "Do you want to see more?"

I nod so he grabs my hand again and leads me into the water. Oh great, here it is, the mother of all proof. He's going to grow a fin and I'm gonna faint. Instead he tells me to go under water with him and I watch him lift shells out of the sand and make them move in a circle around me without touching them. We surface and he smiles more sure of himself now. He looks at me expectantly and grabs my hand, but I pull away and start for the beach.

I think I'm beginning to shut down. I find a spot in the sand and almost collapse. I suddenly don't have any more energy. He follows me and sits next to me.

He mumbles uneasily, "I know it's a lot to absorb and there is a lot more, but only when you are ready."

I thought this day was going to be so perfect and it was, until I started with the third degree. Why do I feel like a big weight has suddenly descended upon my shoulders, pushing me closer to the earth?

Jack keeps glancing at me.

Finally he breaks the silence again and asks, "Do you want to head back home now?"

I nod and we walk silently back to the towels and pack everything up. The ride back home is so quiet. It feels like a big woolen blanket has ascended over the car. I can barely breathe. Maybe I'm having a panic attack. Jack holds my hand the whole way home, but I suddenly feel so disconnected from everything.

When Jack pulls the car up to the house the sun is setting, he comes around to open my door and helps me out. He faces me and lifts my chin up so our eyes meet, green, go figure.

Warmth spreads through my face...He explains, "I told you that there would be things you wouldn't like, but you insisted."

I tell him, "I know but this is unbelievable, like fantasy stuff."

He agrees with me, "I know Ever, now it's up to you to decide what you want to do with the information. One thing I didn't tell you is that your parents don't know about the sea. The rule when you make the choice, if you choose to remain human on land, is that your memory of anything about the sea is gone."

I agree and tell him I won't mention anything to my parents. I still can't believe we are having this conversation.

He smiles and squeezes my shoulders before letting me go, "You know enough now to know you have an important decision to make soon. I will answer any questions you have or if you would rather, I not come around anymore, I can arrange that too."

At the last part the clouds creep over the green in his eyes. I want to reassure him that I will still want him around, but I just can't right now. I am exhausted and just want my bed. He kisses my forehead and gets into his car. I watch as he drives off and my heart starts to break.

#

After I watched Jack drive away, I drug myself upstairs and barely made it into my bed before I passed out. It was only seven o'clock. Luckily, I didn't run into any parents.

Sunday morning when I stroll into the kitchen for breakfast, my parents both look up from reading the paper. I get the battery of twenty questions and my mom is the worst.

She asks me nonchalant like, "Ever, honey, how was your beach trip? You went to bed awfully early last night."

Oh boy, I just can't get a break. I think I might have to go back to bed.

I answer, "Yeah mom, it was great."

I glance at her to see if she's convinced. I sometimes elaborate, but usually I can get by with the usual teenage response. My dad looks up curious. Oh great, not gonna happen this time.

He asks, "Well, what did you think of the ocean?"

I let a minute pass before answering and he's still looking at me waiting for an answer. I'm not getting out of this one.

I ramble, "It was beautiful. We swam for most of the day and ate a picnic lunch."

I add, "The drive didn't seem too bad."

Hopefully that will suffice. I open the fridge and get a glass of orange juice. As I turn around, I see my mom looking at me lovingly. Oh great, here it comes.

She skirts around her words, "Well...What do you think...Do you like this boy, Jack?"

I give her that, are you serious look and wait. It doesn't work, _geesh, she expects an answer._

"Um yeah, he's nice." I say as vaguely as I can. But he isn't from here and that doesn't sit well in my stomach. I actually think I might be sick. I grab my stomach as it churns uncomfortably and smile at my mom.

She smiles, gets the hint and goes back to her coffee and paper.

I climb the stairs back to my room and I am suddenly exhausted again. I glance at James' door, closed. I look at my phone thinking who I could call that would understand anything of what happened yesterday. Then I glance at my bed and decide it's calling my name. I crawl under my big blue blanket and pull it over my head. Maybe I can stay here forever and not deal with anything anymore. I drift off to sleep with visions of people with big fins instead of legs.

My phone rings around twelve waking me up.

I answer groggily and hear Gabbi's voice on the other end, "Ever? Are you still asleep?"

I answer her, "Hhhmmm?"

She starts talking twenty miles a minute, "I was calling about your trip to the beach yesterday. I didn't hear from you so I thought I'd call. Well, do you like Jack? Was he nice? Are you getting serious? What did you think about the ocean?"

At this point I am awake and beginning to sit up, so I can concentrate.

I say, "Gabbi, chill for minute."

Silence, _Oops I need to be a better friend._

I give her uplifting news first, "He kissed me."

Screaming....Ugh! I have to pull the phone away from my ear.

Then I hear, "You have to tell me everything!"

I smile and give her all the gory details minus the whole, my life will change in less than a month part.

After my phone marathon with Gabbi, I take a shower and feel better, a little. I still feel totally weighted down, but at least a little bit more awake. The rest of the day I try to stay busy with mindless T.V.

Monday brings school and the inevitable, Jack. I don't know what to say. I still can't wrap my mind around what he told me on Saturday. I just can't believe it is true. I walk into first period, dreading seeing him. I sit down and stare straight ahead with my heart beating a million miles a minute. The bell rings and he still isn't here. I actually feel a little relieved. The day drones on and he doesn't show for biology either. After school I decide to brave the community pool to swim. I just can't go to the lake yet, for fear of seeing him. I don't know how I can talk about something so unbelievable as if it is real. I'm not quite sure how I even feel about Jack now. I'm so confused.

The rest of the week is pretty much the same. Jack doesn't show to either of our classes together the whole week. By Friday, I'm a little angry with him. It's one thing to give me space, but it's another to actually abandon me, after telling me something so completely crazy.

I start overanalyzing as usual and convince myself that maybe Jack left. It figures, I was finally starting to feel normal again after Michael and this whole thing hits me. I almost want Jack to take it all back and go back to the way we were before the beach trip. I decide I can live in the dark and forgo any questions. My heart beats faster at that thought. I can't imagine never seeing him again. I start to get panicked and make the decision to go to the lake after school. I can live with a little craziness. I won't ask and he doesn't have to tell.

I head home for my suit and towel and of course, James is there waiting for me. Leave it to my brother, terrible timing. I am in a hurry and say hi while running up to my room.

He follows me and leans in the doorway as I gather my stuff, "Where are you off to in such a hurry?"

I stop and look up surprised. He never cares where I go.

Why in the world is he home and bothering me, "I'm headed to the lake to train."

He shakes his head. I'm going to start calling that the infamous James shake.

"You aren't going to see _Jack_ are you?"

He stresses Jack's name when he says it, like he's angry. I pick up my stuff and start for the door but he blocks my way. I look at his eyes and they look like they aren't completely brown, as they always are. It looks like there are little yellow flecks in them.

" _No James, I am not going to see Jack!"_ I stress each word so he gets the hint.

He reluctantly moves out of the way and I bound down the stairs. There is seriously something wrong with my brother.

I start the jeep and drive too fast to the lake. I feel an urgency to see Jack suddenly. When I pull up, I notice two men fishing in a little dingy near the center of the lake. I rush around the lake looking for him. After half an hour, checking all around, I find that he isn't here. I go back to the jeep and sit there with my hands on the steering wheel. What do I do now? _I'm really starting to believe he left now. Maybe it was all a dream and he was never really here_. My heart breaks again.

I decide I don't feel like swimming so I start the jeep up and head back home, checking my rearview mirror every few seconds, hoping to see that little yellow car. But it doesn't appear. I take a detour to Gabbi's because the last place I want to be is home alone, with James. He is starting to seriously, creep me out.

I pull up to Gabbi's single story bungalow style house. She lives on the other side of town where the houses are more sprawling. My neighborhood is more compact. Most of the houses are two story with cutsie porches and street lamps. Her neighborhood consists of long ranch-styles houses. I walk up to the door and knock. Gabbi answers and looks surprised. She takes her cell out of her pocket to see if she missed a call from me.

I push it back down and say, "I didn't call first, sorry, are you busy?"

She opens the door wider and looks back; Reggie is sitting on the couch watching T.V.

I stumble on my words, "Oh um...sorry I didn't know."

She smiles, "It's okay, do you want to come in and hang with us?"

I shake my head and back up, "No, I'll see you later."

I add, "Are you going to the game tonight?"

She replies, "Yep, we'll be there."

I tell her, "Okay, see you then."

As she closes the door, I turn and walk to the jeep. I decide to drive home, James or not, I hear my bed calling my name. I suddenly feel so alone and exhausted.

I walk into the house cautiously. Silence, hopefully he left. I walk up the stairs and glance at James' room, the door is closed. I put my ear up to it, silence. Maybe he did leave. I try the handle and it gives when I turn it. I take a deep breath and push the door open, empty. It's been a while since I've been in his room. There are posters of bands plastered on every wall. I glance at his desk and his computer is open. I glance back to the hall to see if I hear anyone, nothing. I sit in front of the computer and hit the internet button. In the search engine I scroll down to see his past searches. There it is the article about Jack, _figures_. As I look through the others, I see the titles of other sites with the word demon in the title. Now I'm really worried about him. Then I spot one title way past the others with the word, mermaid. I hold my breath and click on it.

The site is entitled _Mermaids: Mythical or Real_. I read a little and find that it is a blog from someone telling a first hand account about seeing a mermaid. He writes that they have special powers like moving things with their mind. Even further down he has a hand drawn picture of the supposed mermaid he saw. My breath catches...all I can do is stare. The fin and everything about her is incredibly beautiful. I can't take my eyes off of it. Suddenly, I hear the front door open and close, breaking my trance. I scramble to get off the site and click out. I rush out closing his door just as he's about to climb the stairs. I rush into my room and close the door quietly, wincing at the click. I fall into my bed and think about what I read and saw. Of course it was someone's story, it isn't necessarily true. But she was just incredible. Like no other drawing of a mermaid I have ever seen. I climb under the covers and drift with thoughts of mermaids. My dream quickly turns.

_Jack and I are running through the trees. The tree line stops and the edge of the cliff looms in front of us. When we reach it, I hold my breath and we leap off. The cold water shocks my body. I flail for a moment and surface gasping for air. I look around. Jack is gone. I panic diving back under, looking for him_.

I wake with a start and a vast emptiness in my center.

I check the clock by my bed and it says seven fifteen. I scurry out of bed and check myself out in the mirror. A shower is calling my name, heading for the bathroom. I notice the door to James' room across the hall, wide open. I lean around to see if he's there. He is laying on his bed listening to his IPOD. I immediately draw back, so he doesn't see me. Guess he didn't notice I was in there snooping, _whew_. I take a shower and try to make myself look presentable.

Grabbing a bite to eat downstairs, I find a note from my mom telling us that she and my dad went out to a movie. I write back that I went to the game. Not that they won't know where I am, it's Friday night after all. I jump in the jeep and drive toward the field. I really have no desire to go if truth be told, but I refuse to sink into depression again. Maybe Jack will be at the game. I have a sinking feeling that he won't, but there's an ounce of hope.

As I pull in to find a space, I scan the lot for the color yellow, no dice. A deep breath and I aim for the bleachers. I spot our group as I round the corner. They are in the middle, left side where we usually sit. Gabbi and Reggie have their backs to me talking to some of the other girls. I start to climb the steps but think to look on the far right side, where Jack was standing at the last game I came to, not there. The emptiness is starting to spread, I can feel it. I make it to the middle and Gabbi turns to see me.

One look and she's up, "Ever, what's the matter."

"Nothing" I tell her and find a spot in the group so she can't pressure me anymore.

She sits next to me and leans over to whisper, "Hey if you want to talk about it, I'm here."

I nod. Talk about it _ugh_. I can't talk to anyone and the only person I want to talk to is suddenly missing. I try to get into the conversation. They're talking about our first two games, one win and one loss. At least it's a start.

Then a girl in the group, Meredith asks me, "Hey, Ever, who is that guy I've seen you hanging around with lately?"

I stumble over my words, "Um just a new guy that is in two of my classes. I've been helping him with class stuff."

She replies, "Oh, he's kinda cute."

I wince and nod.

She changes the subject when she realizes I have nothing more to say and asks, "Well, are you going to Julia's party?"

I must look confused because she says, "You know the party tonight, after the game."

Oh yeah, I think I heard something about that.

"Um, not sure."

Gabbbi nudges me and speaks up, "Of course she's going."

She gives me her cheer up look.

Then I remember, "Actually, Julia is kinda mad at me right now, I blew her off in biology. Don't think I'm invited."

Meredith laughs and tells everyone, "Since when is Julia _not_ mad at someone. You should go, she's probably mad at someone new today."

I laugh with everyone but really, have no intention of attending Julia's party.

Gabbi wins this one, I suddenly find myself stuck in Gabbi's passenger seat while Reggie follows us in the Jeep. She cornered me after the game and forced me, well not forced, but guilted me into agreeing to ride to the party with her. Yes, the party I was not going to.

She starts when we are on our way, "So what's the deal, Ever? I see depression creeping back in. Did something happen with Jack? I thought you were happy and finally over Michael. By the way where is Jack, I haven't seen him all week."

I need to tread carefully. I don't need any told ya so, from Gabbi, because she actually did tell me, kind of.

I lie, "Actually Jack has been out of town visiting his dad and I just... miss him." Believable considering; I nor anyone else know anything about his family. She looks forward because she is driving, but gives me that, oh that explains it nod.

"Well cheer up girl he'll be back soon, right?"

I nod, although I have no clue.

"Yeah, I think he will be back in school on Monday."

At least that buys me the weekend.

We pull up to Julia's house. She throws a party it seems almost every other weekend. Although I can't understand why, she hates everyone. Gabbi seems to think she is the way she is because she's an only child and doesn't have the benefit of a sibling, like the rest of us. Well if anyone wants to know, not caring for my own sibling at the moment. Not to mention, Gabbi is an only and turned out just fine.

We get out as Reggie pulls the jeep up on the other side of the street. I glance up at the house. This is one of the nicest areas in Pahrump. It looks like a combination of my house and Gabbi's. It's really long but also two story and brick. This is the neighborhood that doesn't fit with the whole desert scenery thing. Who would build a brick house in the desert, _go figure_. Reggie grabs Gabbi's hand and we start up the walk.

We knock and who answers but my ex lab partner.

"Well, hi guys. Ever" and she smiles but it doesn't reach her eyes.

If that wasn't obvious, yep, still mad at me.

She directs us, "You know where everything is...soda in the kitchen...keg in the back...oh and here's the basket."

She holds up the basket where we relinquish our car keys. I grab mine back out after Reggie drops them in, when Julia turns to look at someone calling her name. I have no intention of ingesting alcohol tonight. I'm having a hard enough time dealing with things as it is.

I follow Reggie and Gabbi through the house to the kitchen and grab a soda. They find a group to talk to and I turn to look around. Big mistake, I spot Michael with Brittany. They are laughing with a group of his teammates. They won tonight so they should definitely celebrate. I turn back to Gabbi and start to get into the conversation.

Suddenly I feel a hand in the small of my back. I start to smile and then realize I didn't feel anything, no shock or warmth. It can't be Jack. _Oh great_. I turn and find Jason leaning over, about three inches from my face. I can smell beer on his breath.

He says loudly and animated, I'm gathering so his friends can hear him, "Ever Harding, I can't believe you want to go upstairs with me, didn't you just break up with your boyfriend!"

And he starts laughing. I can feel a dozen pairs of eyes on me including Michael's. I just shake my head completely embarrassed. Obviously he's getting the reaction from me he wanted. Suddenly, I feel electricity coming from my left shoulder. I turn around and there he is.

He grins down at me and then looks at Jason saying, "Hey bro, I can take it from here."

Jason glares at him and says louder this time, "Oh so you're gonna go upstairs with this dude instead, slut."

I just roll my eyes and before anything else can happen I put both hands on Jack's chest and give him a small push backwards. He gets the hint and grabs my hand. _Yes._ He pulls me through the crowd of people towards the back door.

When we get out into the yard out of earshot, I lay into him, "Where have you been? I thought you left, forever."

At this point, I can feel tears, oh great, "I never got a chance to tell you whether I wanted you to leave or not, and you still left."

He just stands there with his beautiful blues staring and grinning the whole time. He takes me in his arms and holds me. Tears stream down my cheeks and I take a deep breath, not understanding how he can affect me this way.

He pulls away and looks at me still holding my hands, "I knew you needed space, so I stayed away for a little while. I never actually left; I was watching you the whole time."

My mouth drops, "What, you have been here the whole time?"

He nods his head, "Yes, Ever, that is my job...for the next two weeks."

I can see some green creep into his eyes.

I say with panic, "Two weeks, what are you talking about? You aren't leaving. I don't want you to go."

He tries to wrap his arms around me again but I push him away.

I whisper with as much authority as I can, "I want answers, now!"

He looks around, "Not here, let's go."

I follow his little yellow car in the jeep to the park across from the school. It should be empty at this time of night. When we get there, I notice there is only one park light still lit. The others must have burnt out or are broken from mischievous teenagers.

We head for the bench. I sit and Jack stays standing almost pacing in front of me.

I say urgently, "Just spit it out."

He stops and squats down so he's eye level with me. Still green, this can't be good. He grabs my hands, electricity... feeling much better now. I smell , he's his fresh ocean scent, he's so close.

"Okay, Ever, here it is...I am what is known in the sea as a guardian and right now you are who I am watching over."

Not exactly what I was expecting.

He continues, "In two weeks, you will turn eighteen, at that point you will choose to either stay here on land and remain human, or change directions and live in the sea as a mermaid."

I kinda already knew from our conversation on the beach, but hearing it laid out, makes me start to freak. I pull my hands away and stand. He stands up and just looks at me with pain in his eyes. How can he know how I feel right now. This is unbelievable; I was trying to avoid this.

I look up and ask the only thing that matters to me right now, "Are you leaving after my birthday, will I ever see you again?"

He takes a deep breath, "I have to leave if you choose to stay human. You will have no memory of me. If you choose to leave, you will live in the sea and your memory won't be gone, but you won't be able to come back."

I sit down. I can't live without him but to go and live in the sea and lose...my family...It is unfathomable.

He sits down next to me and wraps his arms around me. This time I don't push him away. I rest my head on his shoulder and close my eyes. I have a huge choice, how could this happen?

#

The next week flies by. Jack doesn't leave my side when we aren't in school, except of course at night. I don't think my parents would go for a sleep over. We drive to the lake after school everyday and swim for hours. He has filled me in, a little, on some of the feelings I've been having, as related to water. I always knew that I felt refreshed after swimming, but I just thought the exercise was what did it. I was wrong; water is like an energy source for merpeople. Fresh water does the job but saltwater is really a huge source for them, hence my reaction at the beach, go figure. I can't imagine how it would feel, to actually live in it.

I get it into my head that I need one more trip to the beach, before I make this life altering decision. We scheme to ask my parents for another trip this Saturday. On Thursday we head home after school and run into James in the kitchen. He looks up when we walk in. He is actually looking a little bit better lately. His eyes look different, no circles, maybe he is adjusting to the boy change thing.

When Jack sees him he has a surprised look, but quickly smiles and says, "Hey James, how are you?"

James gets up and walks out without acknowledging us.

I apologize, "Sorry he is so rude to you."

He shrugs his shoulders, smiles and says, "Teenagers."

Jack suggests we head to the pool to swim. When we get there it's almost deserted. We only have about thirty minutes until it closes but I talk the head lifeguard into letting us stay for a while longer, as long as we lock up the pool area.

Once we're alone, I tell him with a wink, "I think I have found the key to beating you."

I dive in not giving him a chance to respond. He dives in after me and chases me to the end of the pool. I am about to climb back out but he grabs my foot and pulls me back in. I squeal with laughter as I fall back in. Then I'm in his arms and his mouth is covering mine. Warmth spreads throughout my limbs. We fall back under water. I panic and pull away needing air. I swim back to the surface and search for him. He is still underwater. I can see him looking up at me with a giant smile. I dive back under but he swims away. He is so fast. I try to catch him but by the time I reach him, he is climbing out of the pool. I climb out and fall into the lounge chair next to him.

I ask the biggest question on my mind these days, well really the most obvious one, "So if you are a...um...mer-person...why do you have legs?"

He starts laughing at me and starts fidgeting with my hand, "I'm on land silly, so I have legs, when I go back home I have a fin."

He grins and explains further, "I am here only because of you and your impending birthday, to make sure you stay safe to make your choice."

I raise my eyebrows and ask, "Safe? What am I in danger of?"

He changes the subject and asks, "Do you want to see something else?"

I nod uneasily and note to myself to address the danger issue further. Suddenly his fingers have golden light emanating from them.

I sit straight up and pull my hand away, "I knew I wasn't crazy!" I exclaim.

The lights go out and he sits up confused.

I explain, "Right before you came to school, I went to the lake to swim and I saw your hands... light up. I thought I was crazy or you must have had some sort of flashlight."

He looks surprised. "You saw me, but I didn't see you."

He smirks, "I guess you must have been really scared"

I push his shoulder. Then he lights his fingers again.

He explains, "Helpful in the water for navigating."

I look at him amazed.

On Saturday we drive over to the beach again. I know what to expect this time, so I can contain myself and help him carry our stuff down. We spend almost all day in the water. He shows me how his "built in flashlights" as I like to think of them, work under water. As I look under water at him, I notice half a dozen fish swimming around him and he almost pets them. Wow, pretty cool. Did I mention the kissing too? We do a lot of that in and out of the water. I am actually partial to under water kissing, _exhilarating_. By the time we get lunch, I am famished.

Soaking up some rays after lunch, I am determined not to ruin this trip like I did the last one.

I do still have some questions, "Jack, you said it wasn't your place to tell me about all of this." I spread my arms around us for effect.

"Who will tell me if you don't?"

He squirms again. Oh great, I hit a nerve again.

"Ever, your grandmother is coming to tell you about the choices. As I said before I am going against the rules, even letting you know me. My job is to watch over you, until you make your choice in a week."

When he mentions next week, I suddenly feel very sad. Only a week away and I am no closer to knowing what to do. He notices my mood change, gets up and grabs me, tossing me up over his shoulder. He runs and plows us into the water. I could stay like this forever, but next week is looming.

I am so busy playing in the waves that, I don't notice Jack isn't beside me anymore. I turn around to look for him and spot him on the beach at the edge of the woods. How did he get over there so fast? I slowly walk out of the waves and come up behind him, wrapping my arms around his chest. He glances around and turns toward me. Uh oh, green and clouds.

"Ever, we have to get out of here."

I whine playfully, "But why, I'm having such a wonderful time with you."

I kiss him but he pulls away.

I frown, "What's the matter?"

Then something yellow catches my eye in the direction of the woods.

"Ever, we have to leave because...it's not safe."

He glances back towards the woods.

I remember something..."You mean like you said someone was watching me at school a couple weeks ago?"

He nods and takes my hand heading toward the water. I realize where we're going and plant my feet in the sand, with a terrified look on my face.

"Isn't the car the other way?" I ask.

He says with urgency glancing behind me, "Yes, but we can't go that way, trust me you will be safe."

I am so freaked out. I turn around to head toward the car and scream. Coming out of the trees, three sets of yellow eyes and teeth like none I've ever seen...

The next thing I know, Jack is carrying me out into the water and we aren't stopping. He slides me around to his back, so that my arms are around his neck. Suddenly we are soaring through the water, under the water. I'm not gasping like I thought would happen, if I was underwater for this long. I feel like I have plenty of air, impossible. I glance down behind us and I see a very large fin. Jack is a merman, I can feel myself slipping. I feel his grip on my hands tighten and then darkness.

When I wake up I am in the passenger seat of the yellow car and Jack is driving.

He glances over and grabs my hand, "Hello sleepyhead."

I look around confused, the last thing I remember, was when we were swimming away. No, Jack was swimming away from the beach, and those yellow eyes... Then I remember, I look over at him and he squeezes my hand and looks a little worried, the fin.

I ask, "What happened?"

He looks like he's deciding what to tell me. "Well you fainted in the water and we are driving home."

I shake my head, "No, I remember something coming out of the trees and swimming, fast, really fast, and you, you had a...fin... instead of legs."

He answers, "Well that too."

He gives me his melty half smile.

I say, "Okay, as long as we're on the same page."

I give a half smile, unsure of how I feel about the whole thing.

"By the way...um...Jack, are you going to tell me what that was coming out of the trees?"

He glances at me and explains, "Let's just say they are the reason I have to watch over you."

I get a chill down my spine thinking about the eyes, something familiar that I can't wrap my mind around.

#

When I get home from school on Monday I am surprised to find my grandmother making herself at home. She is so different than any other eighty year old here in Pahrump. I would venture to actually call her hip, in a way. She is dressed in pink leggings with a mid-length tulle skirt and a t-shirt with script letters splaying the words, 'My Boyfriend's Back'. Her hair is a blonde bob. She loves to experiment with wigs. I glance at her shoes and notice she has on pink Nikes. She never ceases to amaze me.

My parents never mentioned when she was coming. I didn't ask because knowing she is here means I am that closer to eighteen. Wow, this should be an exciting time, officially an "adult." I guess in my case that means entirely something different. She greets me at the door with a hug.

I say uneasily and try to lift the dull tone of my voice, "Hey Gam-aw, how'd you get here so fast?"

She waves my question away and complains, "I can't believe how slow people are here. I waited an eternity for my luggage, which they couldn't locate. Then it took a half an hour to get a cab to bring me over here. On top of all of that, is there more sand now than the last time I was here?"

I shake my head at her typical complaints and head into the kitchen for a snack. She follows me in and sits at the table. Once I get a drink and an apple she pats the seat beside her.

Here we go. I have been dreading our encounter since Jack mentioned that she knows about the mermaid thing. Don't get me wrong, I have so many questions and maybe I can get them all answered by Gam-aw since Jack is being so evasive.

She looks at me with a smile and asks, "What are the plans for the big birthday?"

I shrug and smile, "I thought you and mom were in charge of that; remember I was just going to show up."

She pats me on the shoulder while she stands and walks to the fridge. She turns around and states, "Well I was thinking a big birthday party here at the house with all of your friends and your parents and James."

This surprises me a little. I was convinced she was going to lay into me about the mermaid thing. I silently vow to let _her_ approach me about it. It is all still so confusing. I can't decide what is true and if I mention it she might think I am crazy.

My lips turn in a grin, "Whatever you want to do is fine because you are the guest."

There is a soft knock on the front door.

I glance at her but she's digging in the fridge. I rush to open the door and find Jack standing there with his melty smile. I feel like I haven't seen him all day but it was really just an hour ago at school. He leans over and gives me a quick kiss.

I pull away and whisper, "Hey, my Gam-aw is here. She was here when I came home today."

His eyes fade to green. Uh oh, Gam-aw here is not so good I am guessing

He asks, "Did you mention anything to her?"

I shake my head, "No, I thought I would let her approach the subject."

He nods and replies, "Good, wait for her to tell you."

Footsteps echo on the wooden floor gathering volume as she approaches us. Jack and I turn to look at her at the same time. I smile and grab his hand to pull him towards Gam-aw.

"Gam-aw I would like you to meet Jack."

A frown crosses her face and then she smiles grabbing Jack's other hand saying, "Well it's a pleasure to meet you, Jack."

Jack grins uneasily, "The pleasure is all mine."

He pulls his hand slowly away from her tight grasp. The silence that follows spreads awkwardly.

Breaking the tension I tell her, "Gam-aw, Jack and I are going to the pool for a swim. Do you need anything before we leave?"

She looks thoughtful, "No don't worry about me, I think I'll do some cooking before your parents get home."

Jack goes out to the car to wait as I grab my stuff. Before I can make it out the door, I see Gam-aw leaning in the kitchen doorway waiting for me.

"Ever, when you get back, we need to talk." I nod and leave not liking the tone of her voice.

Climbing in the car I tell Jack, "I think she suspects that I know."

He nods and his smile has been replaced with a miserable expression.

Then a thought occurs to me and I inquire, "Why does my Gam-aw still remember about your, um world if she chose life on land?"

With my question his face looks even more miserable, if that is possible.

He stammers, "Ever, I told you before I have already told you too much. There is a reason why your Gam-aw knows about the sea and lives on land but she has to be the one to tell you everything."

I cross my arms frustrated with his answer but leave it at alone because obviously he's not giving anything else up.

The pool is glorious. Of course the glorious part isn't the chlorine water, yuck, but Jack. I am trying to enjoy every moment with him. My birthday is fast approaching and I haven't a clue what I will do about the choices Jack says I have to make.

Later when I arrive home I make sure someone else will be home to avoid my Gam-aw cornering me. I don't know why but I have a feeling that I am not going to like everything she has to tell me. As I walk in the door, dinner is about to be served which is perfect timing.

After dinner she stuns me when she announces as we are finishing, "Ever and I are going to go for a walk, we need to catch up."

She winks at me. My heart drops. I am convinced that she knows for sure.

As we leave the house she hooks her arm though mine. We start to walk down the road as the sun is setting. There is a park about three blocks down from my house so we head that way. I'm not sure Gam-aw can make it but we stay on course.

She states as we walk, "Ever, your parents told me you took a couple of trips to the beach recently." I nod, not sure where she is going with this.

She asks, "What did you think?"

"It was beautiful." I give her a curt answer as my heart falls with each second of anticipation.

She agrees, "Ahh, yes it is. I see too that you have a new...friend, where is that Michael? I liked him so much."

I explain, "Well Gam-aw, remember Michael broke up with me right after school started this year."

I add for good measure, "Then I met Jack. He's, um great."

She nods, "I'm sure he is for what he is."

I stop and she turns looking at me with a knowing smile.

Then she looks down her nose at me, "He told you already, didn't he?"

I squirm uneasily, "He told me some things but I was hoping you could fill me in on the parts he didn't tell me. He won't tell me everything."

She smiles, pats my hand and continues walking, "Of course he won't because it's my story to tell."

She adds in a sharp tone, "He shouldn't even be here. He isn't supposed to be involved with you."

At this point we make it to the park and I guide her to a bench so she can sit. I don't feel like sitting but I sink down to make her feel more at ease.

She takes my hand in hers and starts talking, "A long time ago when I was seventeen like you, I was having a hard time with school and my family. We had problems getting along. I was one of five girls. All of my sisters had something they were good at or proud of that seemed to define them. I didn't feel like I belonged anywhere."

She takes a deep breath, "I met someone right before my eighteenth birthday. He was from the sea." She looks off across the fields as if she is back in that time reminiscing.

"He was wonderful and something different than anything or anyone else in my life. We started seeing each other regularly. One day he came to me and revealed what he was to me and where he was from, the sea."

She glances over to me to see recognition in my eyes and continues, "He explained that I could make a choice on my birthday that would allow me to be with him forever."

"I wrestled with the choice but when I found out about their 'wills' I was convinced the sea was meant for me. Their 'wills' really enticed me because I felt I was missing something from my life. And I loved him, or thought I did, as much as an eighteen year old can." Our eyes meet and I look away.

She continues, "I lived in the sea for a number of years and I was happy. I eventually married him. It was definitely a life I couldn't complain about."

I interrupt her, "But what about your family? Didn't you miss them?"

She nods, "I did but living in the sea was like nothing else. It was something I wasn't going to give up for my family. Every day I missed them less."

Her voice cracks at the next part, "But then, I surfaced one day near Santa Catalina Island, this is where your grandfather, Henry, lived at the time."

I think I know where this is going.

"He saw me as soon as I surfaced, which is very rare, most of the time humans don't spot us when we surface. You know of stories of mermaid sightings..."

She shakes her head, "...most of them untrue."

"As soon as I saw him, I knew I had made the wrong decision many years before. I started surfacing regularly to meet with him. We couldn't bear to be apart. At this point I was struggling with that choice I had made. I was a member of the world in the sea, where I had a husband and a life, but I desperately wanted to go back to the land."

My heart is breaking for my Gam-aw at this point. I can see the pain in her face as she tells the story.

"The only thing I could think to do was to go to the powers of the sea and ask for a reversal of my decision. It had never been done, once you choose the sea, you are there to stay."

She sighs, "I went to the powers, which is what the sea people call those who rule and enforce the laws in the sea. There are two mermaids, Metea and Mersa and a merman, Seamus. They do not budge on the laws of the sea."

"I was willing to try anything to be with Henry though. I begged the powers for days. Finally, they told me I would have to make a sacrifice for them to grant my request. I had to agree that if I had any children they would not be given a choice between land and sea. My children would stay on land and never learn of the life in the sea."

She pauses.

"That was my trade to go back to land. I was never to speak of the sea again and I was to move far away from the ocean."

I realize now why she lives in Chicago.

"I kept that promise until now."

She smiles and pats my hand, "The choice skipped your mom as was agreed upon but now you are about to turn eighteen and the choice will be yours."

I take a deep breath. I have no idea what to say.

Her voice takes on an edge and she continues, "Ever, I am only telling you this because you must know about this choice in light of recent events. It has pained me over the years to know that this could loom over your head. If I were to go back to the time when I made the agreement with the powers, I would have taken this choice away from our family line forever."

I am taken aback at this point. I was convinced for a minute that she valued the choice.

I ask still a little confused, "Why do I have the choice at all if you are from land originally?"

Her harsh tone scares me a bit, "I made the mistake when I was able to go there. It opened up a 'flood gate' if you will, for our family line. If I would have stayed where I was meant to be, we wouldn't be having this discussion."

Her voice turns softer, "Ever, I believe we are meant for land and we need to keep it that way. I was a young, inexperienced eighteen year old and I should have never had a choice between land and sea in the first place." She voice trails off with finality.

I stand up and plead, "Gam-aw, you can't say that. I didn't know about all of this until this month but it explains so many things about me. Like my love for the water and just who I am."

I add "And Jack..."

She looks down sadly when I mention his name.

I go on, "I don't know what I am going to choose at this point but I am glad I have a choice."

She shakes her head, "Ever, you really don't know what you are saying. Life in the sea is not meant for us. Leave everything as it is."

She gets up and starts to walk back to the house; her shoulders downturned as if the story took everything out of her. I follow her home without another word. I know she is done with the subject.

When we arrive back at the house, I go straight to my room. I have so much to think about but I still have the feeling that I didn't get the whole story. I fall asleep on top of my blanket still dressed.

_We are running while holding hands. I glance down at our hands and up into his green haunted eyes. Suddenly the cliff is in front of me as if it appeared out of thin air. We leap and I am falling, falling_ ... 'thud' I am jogged awake to find myself on the floor of my bedroom. I actually fell off of my bed. At least this time Jack was still with me in the dream. I trudge downstairs for a drink and find the kitchen deserted. _Good, I am not in any mood to argue with my brother._

#

Tuesday morning comes too soon and my body is dragging all through the hour. A shower makes me feel a little better and I make myself presentable for school. The prospect of seeing Jack keeps me going. When I pull the jeep into a spot, I see him walking slowly toward me. He looks a little uneasy. My guess is that he is wondering what Gam-aw told me and how I feel about it all. I actually woke up feeling pretty fine with the situation as it stands. True, I don't know what I will choose but at least I can make a better informed decision.

He greets me, "Good morning sunshine." and gives me his half grin.

I step up on my toes and touch his lips lightly with a kiss.

He chuckles, "I guess that means you aren't totally turned off by the sea thing."

I smile, "No, I am still in pondering mode."

He puts his arm around me and kisses my forehead, "That's a good sign, I think." I smile and lean into him as we walk to class.

The day goes too fast for my liking. I can't get enough of him so I ask him if he wants to come over and study for our upcoming history test. He quietly declines and suggests we meet at the lake for a swim. I have the feeling he is going to avoid Gam-aw at all costs. Who can blame him? I agree to meet him at four thirty.

The lake is starting to cool down as is the weather. Today it is actually chilly but refreshing. A lot better than bathwater like it was a few weeks ago. The sight of Jack takes my breath away every time we swim. I am definitely more comfortable now with his 'wills' as he calls them. The lights from his hands are really amazing in the lake since it isn't the clearest water.

We swim and explore while watching the fish dart around the lake. I lose most of the time when we race but every once in a while I think he lets me win.

While we are sitting in the setting rays of the sun, I joke, "So when I am a mermaid you will actually have to try to win because I will be fast."

He sits straight up and looks at me with worried green eyes.

Slowly I sit up and ask, "What is it?"

He asks sadly, "Are you going to choose the sea?"

I can't believe he is reacting this way. I thought that if I decided to go to the sea, it would make him happy.

"Actually I haven't made a decision yet but I thought you would want me to choose the sea."

He shakes the alarm from his expression, "Did your Gam-aw tell you everything?"

I nod my head and shrug my shoulders, "I think so."

Then we hear a sound before I can elaborate any further. It's like a gurgling and growling sound coming from behind us. We both turn around and there are two boys about our age walking toward us. They both have frowns on their faces and they are walking with a purpose. Then I notice their eyes. The same eyes I saw on the beach last weekend. Jack glances at me with an uneasy look and gets up first. He picks up a rock nearby using a 'will' and tosses it at the boy closest. He must have been expecting it because it breaks into a million pieces when he puts his arm up, as if to shield himself. I gasp and Jack grabs my arm.

He pushes me toward the lake and yells, "Ever, swim."

I hesitate but he pushes me again. I dive into the lake and swim as fast as I can for the other bank. I slow for a moment and glance back. Jack is still standing on the sandy bank 'willing' objects at the two boys. They are blocking each thing and slowly inching closer to him.

I yell, "Jack!"

He glances at me and calls out, "Swim, Ever, and don't look back."

I do what he says and swim as hard as I can. When I drag myself out of the water on the shore, I turn around to find that Jack is gone. He isn't swimming toward me and he isn't on the other side of the lake. The two boys are gone as well. I don't know what to do. I couldn't bear it if anything happened to him.

I dress as fast as I can and climb into the jeep. I steer it around the lake thankful that it's an all- terrain vehicle. When I pull up to where the two boys were I stop and get out. The only things left are tiny rock remnants scattered everywhere. I walk around looking for him but it's as if they all just vanished. I collapse onto the bank to cry, feeling so helpless.

After a while dusk settles over the lake and I drag myself back to the jeep. The drive home is painfully long. There are so many more unanswered questions and at this point I know of only one person who can answer them.

I storm into the house and search for Gam-aw. She is sprawled out on a lounge chair sitting in the dark on the back porch, listening to her IPOD. I sit down next to her on the other lounge chair and take her headphones off.

She looks up startled. But when she sees my face she asks, "What is it, Ever?"

I spit out, "You didn't tell me everything. Jack is missing."

She looks at me with a knowing calmness, pats my hand and she says, "I told you, we aren't meant for the sea. Leave it alone and everything will work itself out."

I am flabbergasted. She looks away and starts to put her headphones back on, but I put my hand out to stop her and plead, "Gam-aw please help me, I... love him."

She sighs heavily, "I was afraid of that. Ever, you can't love him. It is impossible for you to be together."

I shake my head, "Not if I choose the sea."

She places her hand over mine and shakes her head with a truly sad look. "Even if you choose the sea, it won't work."

"But I don't understand."

She looks around again then sighs as if the life has just been sucked out of her.

She states firmly, "I wish you would just leave things alone. You will be so much better off."

I shake my head and tell her, "If you don't tell me something I am going to go and look for Jack. I don't know where. Maybe I'll drive to the beach."

She looks around again and shakes her head, "Alright, here it is. When I left the sea for Henry, my sea husband, Jaspen, was furious."

She shakes her head and continues, "In everything there is light and dark. People living on the land can be light or dark. Animals can be light or dark. And sea people can be light or dark. Another way of seeing it is, good or evil."

I am completely baffled by this but I wait, hoping she is going to make a point.

"In the sea they say Lior for light or good. Dark or evil is referred to as Erebus. The Lior and Erebus are enemies."

I am so confused at this point. "So Gam-aw you are telling me that there are different people under the sea?"

She nods, "Yes they are either Lior or Erebus, light or dark. Jaspen was a Lior but he turned dark and joined the Erebus."

I ask hurriedly, "What does this have to do with Jack disappearing?"

She looks at me sadly, "Unfortunately, Ever, this is my doing. Jaspen swore revenge upon me when I left. I hurt him when I chose a human over him. I think this might be his revenge. I am so sorry honey, that you have to bear the burden of my mistakes."

She stresses her words, "This is why you have to choose land. The Erebus must not want you to choose the sea so they have taken Jack to make sure you stay here."

I am on the verge of tears at this point. I get up and run to my room. My mom calls after me that dinner is almost ready. _Great._

#

On Wednesday morning I am a complete mess. I barley slept because all I could think about was Jack. I feel so helpless.

I drag myself out of bed and robotically get ready for school. It is unbelievable that I am actually going to school but I have no idea how to help him. Thinking about school makes me think of Jack so I decide to go and maybe he will magically be there. Maybe the lake incident was just a figment of my imagination. Truly, I know nothing has changed and he is gone. There is nothing I can do to help him. If Gam-aw is right, the only way I can help is to choose land.

I drive slowly to school and scan the lot for the yellow car in the parking lot. It's not there which makes my heart sink. Gabbi walks up as I am getting out of the jeep. She can tell I am down again based on her concern.

"Hey, Ever, are you alright?"

No my boyfriend, if I can call him that, has been kidnapped and whether I choose land or sea in a long story, guarantees that I will never see him again. That about sums it up.

But I brush it off, "Yeah fine, I just didn't sleep very well last night."

She proclaims trying to cheer me up, "So the big one eight on Friday. What are the plans?"

I shrug as my heart drops further.

"I don't know. Gam-aw and my mom haven't told me anything."

Realization hits, as I ask, "Whatever the plan is, you're coming right?"

I won't be able to bear the birthday if at least, Gabbi isn't there.

She nods, "Wouldn't miss it."

I tell her I have to get to class and we take off in opposite directions. I can only pretend to act normal for so long.

The day drags on and Jack never shows up to any of our classes together. I go over every scenario. If I choose land, I forget him and never see him again but I still see my family and life doesn't change. If I choose sea, something will happen to him and I will never see him again or my family. I don't get a break with either choice. What to do? I think I'm falling deeper than when Michael broke up with me.

I go to the lake again after school in hopes that Jack will be there. No such luck. Actually there is no one there, not even anyone fishing.

I walk to the bank and sit down with my head in my arms. Suddenly, a thought occurs to me. Jack said he lives around here so maybe he has connections to other people around here.

I hop in the jeep with renewed hope and start driving around looking for places around the lake. This proves to be a waste of time and energy. I should have known. There isn't a person or structure within miles. He was here for me, just as he said. I have no idea where he slept or stayed overnight, but it couldn't have been anywhere near here.

The rest of the week is torture. Friday looms with every hour and by Wednesday my mom has suddenly decided to get into the whole birthday thing. She thinks a party would be fitting for eighteen. Not just any party but one in which she has to invite half of my senior class. She and Gam-aw decide my family will celebrate the day before at a restaurant. On Friday after the football game, all of my friends will come to a party at the Harding house, sans parents. I am shocked that she even suggested it.

My actions are routine while I get ready for the dinner with my family. I decide my parents deserve more than my usual drab and depressed so I slip on a purple mini-dress that is befitting of the occasion. They decided we would go to a local Mexican restaurant called The Alamo. I love Mexican food any other time but right now, I just feel sick to my stomach constantly.

As we are sitting down to dinner, I look across the table at James. He decided to grace us with his presence. Suddenly, I see yellow flash across his eyes for a split second then it's gone. My mouth drops open and he gives me a snarl of a smile. My stomach turns. I really think I'm going to be sick. I run to the bathroom and close myself up in a stall. A few minutes later Gam-aw comes in to check on me.

She asks, "Ever, are you okay honey?"

I come out of the stall and glare at her, "Am I okay? Am I okay? No, of course I'm not okay. With whatever choice I make, I will never see Jack again. On top of that I just saw James' eyes."

I heave and turn toward the stall again.

She steps forward but I turn to face her, "There was a flash of yellow in his eyes. What does that mean?"

She tells me with downturned eyes shaking her head, "The Erebus must have gotten to James somehow. I'm not sure but now it is so important that you choose land. If you choose the sea...I don't know, maybe it means something might happen to James."

I am dumbfounded, "What? Now they are going to take my brother too? I thought you had to be eighteen for this to affect you?"

She looks at me sadly, "That is usually how it works, Ever. I am so sorry Jaspen has taken his revenge for me out on you and James. Please know that if I could change any of this, I would."

I shake my head and walk out. I can't take any of this anymore. A month ago I was a normal teenage girl about to turn eighteen with only one thing to worry about, where to go to college next year. Here it is the eve of my birthday and everything in my being tells me to choose the sea but I can't ignore that this choice has consequences affecting everyone I love.

#

I am sitting by the lake and suddenly I feel a spark of electricity down my shoulder. I jump and look up to the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. Those clear blue eyes pierce through me and all I can feel is relief. I get up and start to wrap my arms around him but he pushes me away and yells, "Run, Ever!" He takes my hand and we run together. Then I see it...the cliff is getting closer with each step I take. We reach the edge and leap without a pause. He looks over at me with that smile as we fall into the crashing water below.

I wake with a start and sit straight up in bed soaking wet from sweat. My heart is still beating so fast. I have to take a few breaths to steady it. After my mind clears, I realize my reality and my heart breaks once again. The dream was so real and Jack was there with his smile.... Then more reality hits me, it's the morning of December 2nd, my eighteenth birthday.

I drag myself from bed and head for the shower. As I'm about to reach for the bathroom handle it turns and opens.

James looks down at me and glares. I see a flash of yellow and he growls under his breath, "Today's the day, make the right choice, Ever."

Then he smiles and walks to his room. My mouth drops open in shock. What the hell is going on with James? Why is he so moody and how does he know about my choice? I feel even worse now. I stay in the shower long after the water runs cold. I end up dragging so much to get ready for school that I am late.

I walk into class tardy. When I sit down Sasha leans over, "Hey, are you alright?"

I nod sinking into my seat and pull my hoodie over my head. I must not look so good. Well, I don't feel so great either. I glance to the other side of me and the seat is empty. I feel the familiar tug in my core. I ache for him and I just don't know what to do. When the bell rings signaling the end of class I start to head out of class and almost run into Michael.

He taps me on my arm and tells me, "Hey Ever, I...um just wanted to wish you a happy birthday."

I squirm uneasily, "Oh yeah, thanks."

I give him the best smile I can manage for the circumstances and head for second period. I feel as if I'm moving in slow motion, as if I am just observing everything happening all around me.

In third period Gabbi does her usual. She brought a cupcake for me and left it on my desk.

When I walk in, she tells the whole class it's my birthday, creating more unwanted attention. I get lots of well wishes. Unfortunately, it doesn't affect my mood and the close looming decision I am dreading.

Through the rest of the day people approach me to tell me they are looking forward to my party. _Oh boy, I just can't wait._ I wonder as the day rolls on, how and when I will make this decision about the sea and land. Gam-aw and Jack never actually told me how the whole thing works. Do I make the decision in my head or is there a ceremony. And if that's the case, how do my parents not find out...

When I get home from school Gam-aw and my mom are there. My mom must have come home early from work to decorate and plan for the party. The backyard has been completely transformed and it is absolutely beautiful. She brought tables and chairs in and draped pink Chinese lanterns everywhere. The center pieces on the tables are beautiful vases full of multicolored flowers with pink ribbons. Gabbi will love all the color.

I walk out admiring her work as she sing songs, "Happy birthday, Ever, what do you think?"

"Thank you mom, it's really wonderful." I hug her tightly savoring her motherly touch.

She laughs and tells me, "Just wait until it gets dark."

I suddenly feel defeated, realizing Jack won't even be here for my birthday.

She sees my mood change and asks, "Ever, are you okay?"

"Yes, I was just going to go for a quick swim."

She nods and smiles, "Good idea, that will give Gam-aw and I some time to finish up here."

I can tell she is really enjoying this. Maybe she should have been a party planner instead.

I head up to my room and go through the motions to change into my suit and gather my things. I feel as though I'm sinking deeper into a lake of mud. Pretty soon I won't be able to breathe.

James swings his head around the corner into my room and warns, "Remember to choose land for your little brother."

His lips move in an evil smile that is not even his. He ducks out before I can respond. I feel like I could pass out and sleep for days but I make myself leave. I decide to go to the lake instead of the pool. I feel closer to Jack there and I really need him right now, if only in my mind.

When I get there, I undress quickly as if I can't get in the water fast enough. I push myself and swim for a good two hours. My focus is my strokes and breathing. I try to take in everything and push it to the corners of my mind. It seems to work temporarily until I climb the bank of the lake and realize that my reality is lurking just hours away and there is nothing I can do to stop time.

It's almost dark when I finally decide to go back home. I know Gabbi will be the first to arrive and wonder where I am. As I drive back home I think about the decision and decide to talk to Gam-aw. I need to ask her how the whole decision thing works. I can't even focus anymore on one decision or the other. They are muddled together in my mind, making no choice the right one.

When I get home I head straight for my room and get ready. I decide on the usual jeans but I pick a pink top. I think my mom was trying a subtle hint with all the pink. I suppose I can play the part of the daughter turning eighteen tonight, temporarily at least. As I am about ready, I hear a knock on my door. _Oh great, more comments from James._

I yank the door open and start to lay into him,"What do you..."

I realize it's Gam-aw and stammer, "Sorry Gam-aw, I thought you were James."

By the look on her face, I surprised her.

She comes into my room and sits on the edge of the bed.

I ask in a strangled voice, "Gam-aw how does this whole choice thing work? I was about to come and ask you about when I need to make the decision and how."

She looks a little more upbeat than she was last night, the last time this subject came up.

"Ever, you will need to stand outside at midnight, face the moon and make your decision."

I ask surprised, "Is that all?"

She nods.

I question, "Do you need to be there?"

"If you need me, I can be here."

I think for a minute with her waiting expectantly and finally shake my head, "No, I want to do it on my own."

She relents, "That's fine, but please remember all that is at stake with this decision."

I nod and look the other way trying to mask my uneasiness. When I turn back around, she is walking out of my room. I still haven't made a choice and midnight is only four hours away.

Suddenly there is laughter downstairs, Gabbi. _Who can miss her unmistakable giggle?_ I smile and head down to greet my guests.

When I step off the last step my mom hands me the infamous key basket and guides me to the backyard. It is gorgeous with a few dozen strings of lights draped across the yard. A table full of food and soda sits on the wooden deck and my dad's sound system is set up for music and dancing. My mom really went all out. I turn to her and grab her in a hug.

She hugs me back and whispers, "I know it's been a hard senior year so far. Enjoy yourself tonight, you deserve it." A tear falls down my cheek with the emotion that is about to overwhelm me. I quickly wipe it away before I pull away.

She takes Gam-aw's arm in hers and steers her to the front door. Then she turns and tells me, "Oh I almost forgot."

She opens a drawer in the hall table and hands me a small box wrapped in pink satin with a dainty white bow.

"Happy birthday, honey."

I unwrap it and find a thin silver chain attached to a brooch with the figure of a mermaid made from bone etched into it.

I look up and tell her with more tears in my eyes, "Oh mom, it's beautiful."

She smiles telling me, "Well, I thought of you as soon as I saw it, my little mermaid."

Gabbi fastens it around my neck. I rub it between my fingers.

As they are walking out, I ask, "Where's dad and James?"

She turns and tells me with a wink, "Your dad took your brother to a movie, just the two of them."

"Good, I think James needed that."

The house and backyard start filling up after ten when the football game is over. I play my part as a gracious hostess but in the back of my mind twelve is awfully close. Gabbi is better than me though. She makes sure all the keys make it into the basket and floats around socializing like the butterfly she is. My parents didn't provide any alcohol as Julia's usually do. There is plenty floating around that people brought with them.

Around eleven o'clock, Michael and Brittany arrive with some of the other football players.

He finds me in the kitchen and tells me, "Happy birthday. I think it's only fitting we toast your birthday in the proper way." And he holds up a bottle of Tequila.

I take a step back and shake my head laughing, "No, you know Tequila and I are not friends."

I do not handle alcohol well. The few times I did drink any was disastrous but Michael was always there to take care of me.

He insists while he pours shots for the five of us standing around, "Ever, it is your birthday and you are doing a shot with me."

I look around and Brittany holds up her shot while exclaiming, "Happy birthday."

I grab mine and hold it up. We down them together. I can feel it burn all the way down my throat.

Gabbi strolls by right after and exclaims, "What? You guys didn't wait for me?"

I shake my head, "Nope, how about another?"

The first shot is warming me. I like the feeling. It reminds me of Jack and his electric touch. Michael pours another round.

I hold mine up and toast, "To Gabbi, the best friend a girl could ever have."

She smiles and we down the shot. My balance is suddenly off. Gabbi notices and steers me to the back yard. She guides me to a table where my friend, Sasha from my first period class is sitting.

I turn to Gabbi and ask, "Hey, aren't you going to sit down?"

Gabbi shakes her head, "Not yet, I'll be right back. Just sit there and get your bearings for a minute."

Sasha starts in about Jack as soon as Gabbi walks away, "What's up with you and the new guy, Jack?" I shrug my shoulders.

"Are you dating him? Why is he never in school?" This seems to sober me up.

I glare at her and tell her, "I. don't. know."

Her banter makes me get up to find Gabbi. I decide I need her. I find her in the kitchen cleaning up. As I walk in, I check my watch, eleven forty-five. My head is starting to pound and my heart is skipping around with nervousness. Only fifteen minutes until twelve. I grab Gabbi's hand and tell her to come with me while dragging her toward the front door.

She stops me as I reach for the handle and tells me laughing, "Ever, those two shots were way too much, weren't they? You're going the wrong way. The party is in the other direction."

I shake my head, "No Gabbi, I need you to come with me into the front yard. We'll come right back."

She shrugs her shoulders and lets me pull her out the door. We sit on the bench swing. I look at my watch, eleven fifty-five.

Gabbi says, "Alright Ever, I have tried to keep some distance this past month, you have to let me know what is going on. Your moods go up and down, and this thing with Jack. I didn't want to upset you but, where is he? It's your eighteenth birthday, he should be here."

I am numb at this point.

I admit, "Gabbi I can't tell you everything. I am so sorry. I know I have been such a bad friend."

She shakes her head and I say curtly, "Let me finish. I just need you to sit right here for me... if you will. I have to do something and I just need your support right now."

She nods uneasily and says, "Okay, whatever you need."

I love my best friend and I owe her so much. I stand up and walk down the steps out into the front yard. I check my watch, twelve o'clock on the dot. I stare up at the moon and notice it is full, yellow and beautiful.

I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and whisper quietly, "I choose the sea, I choose Jack."

#

I'm running and Jack is beside me. He glances at me with his heart melting smile as we leap off the cliff. The cool crisp water is unexpected at first. I swim for the surface out of breath and leap out of the water. I realize something is different. I look back and I see a big fin glittering in the water.

I sit up gasping for air, not from running but from shock. I slowly lift the blanket, afraid to look. Right there in front of me are my legs, the same as usual. I'm half relieved but also worried. I remember the night before and how I stood under the bright yellow moon and claimed the sea and Jack. Nothing happened. I don't know what I expected, but here I am the day after my birthday when I chose the sea and there is no water in sight or Jack. Maybe it didn't work. I'm suddenly worried thinking about Jack. Who was I kidding, just thinking that just choosing the sea would somehow bring him back to me? Now, maybe the opposite has happened. Could he be in danger because I chose the sea? I panic and wonder if the Erebus did something to him.

I make a split second decision. It's Saturday so I decide to take a drive to the beach. It's a big trip for me by myself but this may be only way to know if my choice means anything.

I stroll down to the kitchen to get some breakfast. My parents and Gam-aw are sitting around the table reading the newspaper and drinking their coffee. They all look up as I walk in.

My mom starts, "So how was it Miss eighteen year old?"

A smile spreads over my lips.

"It was great. I'm pretty sure everyone had a good time."

My Gam-aw stares at me. I know she is trying to decide what I chose. I just give her a turned smirk. Hopefully that will appease her without having to actually say anything.

My dad comments, "Well, you and Gabbi did a great job cleaning up."

My mom jumps in, "Yes, we expected to pick up today but it looks like you two covered it."

I snicker, "Well you know Gabbi. She was in true hostess form last night."

They all smile and go back to their paper and coffee.

I announce, "I was thinking about going to the lake for a swim this morning."

My mom looks up again, "Make sure to say good-bye to Gam-aw before you leave. Her flight is at twelve today."

I glance at her, "I hope you had a great visit."

She gushes, "Oh yes, I did Ever, thanks for letting me celebrate your big birthday with you."

I smile and walk back to my room.

I pack for the beach. Although if what I think will happen, actually happens, I won't need too much. Suddenly there are butterflies in my stomach. An hour later after a shower, checking my email, and calling Gabbi to thank her for all of her help last night, I head back downstairs for my good-bye.

My parents are cleaning up the kitchen mess from breakfast and Gam-aw is nowhere to be found. _I knew it was too good to be true._

I ask, "Um where's Gam-aw?"

My mom answers without turning around, "She is probably back in her room, getting ready to go."

I turn and walk toward the guest room. I face the door take a deep breath and knock.

She calls out, "Come on in."

I sit on the bed while she packs the last of her things.

"Ever, how'd it go last night?"

I evasively answer, "The party was a lot of fun."

She nods and looks to finish what she's doing.

"I was just coming to say good-bye. Have a safe trip home."

She comes around the bed and gives me a hug.

I say into her shoulder a little sad, realizing this might be the last time I will ever see her, "Thank you for celebrating with me."

She holds me at arms length with her hands still on my shoulders, "You have so much to look forward to with college next year."

I nod and look down, "I love you Gam-aw."

She gives me a kiss on the cheek and I turn to walk out the door. I glance back one more time and she has turned the other way. _I'm not sure what she didn't tell me but I know there is more to all of this, there must be_.

I stroll back to the kitchen and announce to my parents that I am going to the lake. Then it hits me that goodbyes are necessary for them too. That realization makes my heart skip a beat making me feel queasy. _I've made my choice, no turning back and I picture Jack's beautiful smile just to cement my decision._

I hug my mom first and give her a kiss on the cheek. She is taken back a little.

I tell her," I love you mom."

She chuckles, "You're just going to the lake but maybe I like this eighteen year old thing. Maybe you're coming back to us."

I smile and hug my dad while telling him, "I love you."

He hugs me back, "Have a good time and be careful."

I smile, "I will."

Finally, I make it to the jeep. I put my hands on the steering wheel and realize, _wow this is it. I never thought it would all feel so final._

I start up the jeep and feel someone's eyes on me. I turn to look back toward the house. My eyes meet James' in his window and I can tell they are fully yellow. Then he's gone. My heart breaks at the thought of my brother. What did I do to him? I want to run back into the house to tell him how sorry I am. Instead I resist, put the jeep into drive and push on the gas. It takes all of my will to continue on, knowing that I didn't save my brother. I turn the volume up on the music, Eric Satie to try to lose myself and think about Jack.

I can smell the salt water about ten miles out according to my GPS. I start to wonder if this has anything to do with my choice last night. I don't remember being able to smell anything this far away the last time I made this trip. As I get closer, I get that familiar feeling in my core, as if I can anticipate the water when I get there.

I pull into a spot at the same beach as the last two visits. I glance around and spot the familiar yellow car. My heart skips a few beats. I rush out leaving the jeep on and run over to the car to look inside the windows. Everything looks the same with one thing missing, Jack. I look out toward the water and my middle flutters. This whole thing makes me scared and uneasy.

I don't run to the water this time. Once I turn off the jeep and get my things, I walk slowly savoring the heat. I peel off my clothes and put them in a neat pile on the beach. Slowly I walk to the water. When my toes touch the first drops of salt water, that familiar warmth spreads up through my toes to the rest of my body. I take a deep breath. This was all I needed; I continue to walk all the way in until only my head is above the water. Glancing around, I notice the beach is almost deserted. I duck under the water and swim for a minute before surfacing for a breath.

After thirty minutes of swimming, nothing happens which brings doubt about my decision last night. I half expected to become a mermaid when I touched the water. It didn't happen. Maybe I've dreamt this whole thing up and I am actually going crazy.

Dragging myself out of the water, I sit on the sand and soak in the sun's rays. When I glance at my legs, I notice something glimmer when the light hits it. As I examine it closer, I find that it looks like a scale. _What in the..._ Unlike any I've ever seen before. It is big, round and multicolored, reflecting the light. I look at my other leg and find a few scales on that leg too. I am now confused. I lay back on the sand, suddenly very tired and overwhelmed.

I must have dozed because the next thing I know I open my eyes and the sun has changed positions in the sky. I sit up startled because there is a girl in a purple bikini sitting cross legged next to me. She is just staring at me. I open my mouth in shock because she has familiar dark hair and almond shaped blue eyes.

She says almost sarcastically, "I was wondering when you were going to wake up."

I know those eyes...

I stammer, "Who are you?"

She ignores my question and asks, "Are you ready?"

I look at her confused, "Ready for what?"

She chuckles, "Ready to go, of course."

I must look really out of it at this point because she stands and offers me her hand.

She tells me grinning, "Ever, I am here to guide you. You chose the sea last night, correct?"

I stare dumbfounded. My expression, I'm sure tells her I am totally clueless. I take her hand to help me stand.

She starts walking toward the water and says over her shoulder, "Okay, this is very important. When we are far out into the water, you have to 'will' your fin."

I ask full of terror, "What? How do I do that?"

She answers, "Think really hard about it and imagine it appearing instead of your legs."

_I am in way over my head_.

I nod at her letting her know I understand. But that doesn't mean I will be able to do it. I start following her.

I ask, "By the way, who are you?"

She turns and smiles, oh wow, my breath catches... I know that smile too.

"I am Amber Tanner, Jack's sister."

I stop in my tracks as my legs lose their strength almost causing me to fall down.

I can't get the words out fast enough, "Where is he? He just disappeared. Will I ever see him again? Is he alright? I start crying while I blabber all of my questions.

She laughs, "Ever, you shouldn't worry. I'm sure Jack is fine."

My mouth drops. "What, I thought if I chose the sea, the Erebus would kill him."

Amber looks surprised at this point, "Well if you thought that would happen then why did you choose the sea?"

I shrug, "I had to know. I had to see him again. I knew that if I chose to stay on land, I wouldn't even remember him."

She smiles and says, "Alright then, let's go."

I look out to the crashing waves uneasily and start to walk to the water, while telling myself to _just breathe_.

I follow her into the water.

We walk out and swim out for a quarter of a mile then she turns to me as we tread water, "We are far enough now. You need to 'will' your fin. Just envision it."

Before I can do anything I glance down into the water to see that Amber no longer has legs but a glorious shimmering mermaid fin. _Alright, I can do this._

I close my eyes and imagine.... I look down and my legs are still there and I'm getting a little tired. I close my eyes and try again. Suddenly I feel differently and I'm not actually treading water anymore. I open my eyes and look down. There instead of legs I have the same glimmering mermaid fin with thousands of those beautiful scales. The look on my face must say a lot because Amber starts laughing.

She tells me, "Let's try it out."

And she dives down under the water. I am left by myself. I take a deep breath and dive down to follow.

The view under the water is incredible. It looks nothing like it did when I dove under the water with Jack so many weeks ago. Everything is so clear and bright as if I have my swim goggles on. I can see even the minute particles of sand from where I am so close to the surface of the water. I can also hear not just the water moving but also the fish swimming around me. I can hear them breath through their gills. I stop. _Wait. I'm not out of air. I'm breathing easily, not gasping. This is exhilarating._

Suddenly, a hand grasps my shoulder and I dart around startled. It's Amber. She speaks clearly, as if we don't have a ton of water around us, "Let's go Ever, we have a long trip ahead of us. Follow me."

I follow, not trusting my voice underwater.

Amber zips through the water and I worry that there is no way I'll be able to keep up with her but I have no problems. I don't even feel winded moving this fast through the water. We glide deeper into the depths and the sea bottom seems to rise closer. Glancing at the fish we pass I am aware of how vibrant their colors are. This reminds me of my own fin. I glance back and watch as it waves through the water with each of my movements. I am amazed that this is me. It is completely unbelievable. _I am actually a mermaid_.

We swim for what seems like hours, covering a large distance. As we continue to descend further into the sea, I notice the light from the sun is slowly dissipating and there are more shadows. I watch as a light appears ahead of us and remember Jack and his 'flashlight hands'. The memory brings a smile to my lips. Amber seems to have the same 'will'. The spotlight from her hands just makes everything all the more beautiful. The grasses sway and the coral appears in colors that I don't even know the names for.

I start to focus on the sounds around me. I can hear and feel the movement of the waves above us. The sounds are peaceful and subdued. I am coming to the conclusion that the sea is nothing like I ever imagined. I wonder how my Gam-aw could have given this up.

Then I see it, at first it's just columns of glittery looking things far off in the distance, like sparkling stars underwater. As we glide closer I notice that I am looking at shapes and as we continue the shapes grow. Finally, I realize it's a sort of city that I am looking at. The buildings are amazing in architecture. There are curves where you would see straight lines on land. All the buildings have a shimmer when the light hits them just right. They seem to be made of a substance unlike our buildings but not rock either. I am truly awestruck at the beauty and grandeur of it.

As we get closer still, I realize the immense size. It seems to sprawl on forever in the opposite direction as if it spans hundreds of miles.

Amber glances back to check on me. She smiles in response to my reaction. We finally reach the city and it is hugely intimidating while we swim through it. Amber obviously has a destination in mind. We turn a corner and I am shocked to see other mermaids and mermen swimming along between structures. They don't even glance in our direction. Amber checks on me again. I give her a thumbs up to let her know I am dealing with everything.

She nods and keeps going. Seeing other ...people like this makes me uncomfortable. _How can this even exist?_

Finally, we come to a small structure that is a shimmery green color. She opens the door and ushers me in. I swim forward to find a simple space that actually resembles the inside of a house on land. It has rooms with walls and a luminous ceiling. It is transparent and I can see fish glide by when I look up.

When she closes the door she warns, "Be ready."

I look at her confused but she looks like she's concentrating on something.

Suddenly the water starts to slowly disappear. It seems to sink into the floor of the space. Then Amber has legs. I panic and focus as hard as I can, imagining my legs again. It doesn't work. I am suddenly lying on the floor with this big silvery fin. Ugh! Talk about uncomfortable. I try again, closing my eyes this time and thinking about my legs. When I open them my legs are back. Both of us are clothed in our bikinis from the beach. She hands me a towel. I wrap it around myself and try to stand up. My legs won't hold me up and I fall back to the floor.

She chuckles while telling me, "Careful, it will take some getting used to. You used a lot of energy swimming here. Your legs will be weak after your first few times transforming back and forth."

I try to push myself up again and make it to a chair three feet away before collapsing. I glance around and notice everything is dry. I am amazed and suddenly exhausted.

Confusion colors my voice, "Why did you make the water disappear?"

"I wanted you to feel as comfortable as possible. This is the world you are more familiar with."

I thank her and ask again, "When can you tell me about Jack?"

"All in good time."

She tells me to get some rest and I can't disagree. I rest my head on the side of the chair and drift.

#

I'm surrounded by a cave. Glancing around I find him sleeping in the corner, so peaceful and beautiful. I rush over to him and tap his shoulder. The familiar electricity I've missed spreads down my arm. He starts and opens his eyes. They are green but slowly the blue rolls in as he sees me. We hear a noise and we are running, running out of the cave. He grabs my hand and my heart flutters. Looming in front of us is the cliff. I forgot about this part. It's getting closer and he smiles at me forcing a peaceful feeling to spread through me, right before we leap.

I wake up with a jolt. I feel panicked and glance around the room. _Feeling a little more panicked._ _Where am I?_

I rub my eyes and sit up thinking hard. Then I remember that I chose the sea. _I'm in the sea. This is still so unbelievable._

I glance around to find that I'm alone. I get up and walk around the room. It's a very large room. There are a few of the chairs similar to the one where I napped. I spot a doorway on the left side of the room and I head towards it. It opens up to a hallway about ten feet long with four other doorways, two on each side. I walk forward and glance in each room. The first two look like normal bedrooms with what looks like a kind of bed in each of them. The third room looks like a sitting room of sorts. Everything is very sparse. I guess that is to be expected considering where we are. The last room is definitely a sort of kitchen and standing at what looks like a stove is Amber humming something beautiful.

She looks up as I enter, "Hi Ever, did you sleep well?"

"Um yeah."

I am so confused. How is all of this possible in the sea?

She states, "I thought you might be hungry when you woke up. I'm making you some fish."

"Um yeah sure, sounds great. You eat cooked food here?"

I say it as more of a statement than a question. I'm really starting to feel uneasy about this whole thing. There is a table in the corner of the room so I walk over and sit down. Amber brings the fish and a glass of water. I hold the glass up.

She laughs, "Yes, it's fresh, you can drink it." I down the water first and she gets more. Those dreams make me so thirsty.

As I eat my fish, I ask, "Why is this like a house on land?"

She smiles, "It is to make you feel more comfortable."

I ask, "So the other homes here aren't like this?"

She shakes her head, "No most dwellings are water all the time. I am able to do this because of my job."

"Your job?"

She tells me, "Yes, as I said before, I am a guide; I guide new mer-people to our city so I am able to greet them with some familiar surroundings before they are fully submerged."

I suddenly have a queasy feeling; it sounds so final, submerged.

I persist again, "When can I see Jack?"

She looks a little uneasy. "Ever, you have to understand Jack had a job as well and because you have made your choice, his job pertaining to you is over."

My heart skips and my mouth gapes open, "What, will I ever see him again?"

She looks down sadly and shrugs her shoulders, "I really can't answer that."

She rolls her eyes, "He wasn't supposed to get involved with you in the first place. It's his fault for letting you know about him."

I am so tired of everyone talking around in circles. I wish someone would just lay it all out there.

I am getting very frustrated with Jack's sister. I decide to approach things in a different way.

Carefully I say, "Okay Amber, I want to first thank you for bringing me here. I wonder if you will just explain things to me. Jack and my Gam-aw were so careful with what they told me. I don't think I got the whole story about life in the sea."

She smiles and nods, "What do you want to know?"

Here goes, don't blow this one, Ever.

"My grandmother told me that she was able to choose the sea and obviously I did too, why? Can anyone choose land or sea?"

She takes a deep breath, "Wow, they didn't tell you much, did they?"

I shrug my shoulders.

She begins, "In order for you to understand anything you have to know the history of our people."

_Oh boy, that dreaded subject, history. Hopefully it will be more interesting than history on land_.

She continues, "A long time ago, hundreds of years, there was a man who walked on land. He was an explorer of the sea. The story says that he was abandoned on a deserted island in the Caribbean by his crew. He was a cruel and terrible captain, so they declared a mutiny. He was left for dead and was close to it when a mermaid, who was exploring the area, spotted him. Her name was Metea."

She continues, "He was exactly what she was looking for, a human just to spite her father. Metea was mad at her father, the sea king. He forbade all mer-people to ever surface for fear that land people might see them. He was afraid of the repercussions from land and sea people meeting. Metea not only spotted the captain, she nursed him back to health on the island and healed him. Her family had the unique ability to heal with their blood. They fell in love and somehow because she healed him, he was able to transform into a merman and come to the sea with her."

She takes a deep breath, "You can imagine what happened next. The sea king was furious when he found out what his daughter had done. He ordered the captain killed."

She smirks, "Well, Metea and this captain weren't going to let that happen so they killed the sea king first. The captain's name was Seamus."

I interrupt, knowing those names from Gam-aw's story, "Wait so they became the sea powers? Then who is Mersa? My Gam-aw mentioned there are three."

She answers with a smile, "Mersa is Metea's mother."

My mouth drops open.

I ask, "If this happened hundreds of years ago, how are they still alive?"

She smiles a little curious, "Jack really didn't tell you much, did he?"

I shake my head, "Guess not."

She laughs, "Merpeople don't have the same life span as humans on land. We can live for a very long time."

I am intrigued, "How long is a very long time?"

"Possibly thousands of years."

I am taken, _wow_.This makes me think of Jack and whether I really want to know but I ask anyway, "Then how old are you and Jack?"

She smiles again, "Jack is about seventy-five and I am sixty. We are very young still." My breath catches again. I am truly shocked and don't know what to say.

She asks, "Do you want to hear the rest?"

I nod at a loss for words.

She continues, "Now Seamus being from the land and now having the powers of the sea became very powerful. The original sea king suspected the implications of someone on land coming to the sea but he probably didn't have any idea of the extent of the effects."

I interrupt again, "I would think someone on land would be less powerful given we don't have 'wills' like you do."

She nods, "You would think, but it is actually quite the opposite. Somewhere in our history it is written how dangerous it can be. When Seamus came to the sea he changed our people forever."

She takes a sip of water and continues, "Seamus was pretty smart. He became aware quickly of the implications of having land and sea meet, as Matea's father had. As a result, he made laws regarding the mixture of land and sea people. These offspring could be very powerful. No more lines were to be established and mer-people were to stay in the sea and land people were to stay on land. At first he was more worried a land walker would come and possibly challenge his power. But later he came to love the sea and our people. He doesn't want any harm to come to our species."

She asks me, "Do you understand so far?"

I nod with wide eyes and ask, "There's more?"

She smiles, "Of course. Many mer-people disagreed with Seamus' laws so they rebelled and became very dark."

I jump in, "Are those people the Erebus?"

She smiles, "Very good, you're catching on. At first they weren't dark but over time they changed and developed 'wills' that were more extensive. The mixture of land and sea starting with Seamus tilted the balance of the sea forever."

She stops to let me digest everything. I get another glass of water and think about how all of this information relates to my own situation.

I ask, "So where does my family fall in all of this."

She shakes her head, "I knew that question was coming. This is probably why Jack and your Gam-aw only told you parts." I'm beginning to feel uneasy. _I don't think I'm going to like what she has to tell me_.

"Ever you are related to Seamus."

I'm stunned. The man who changed everything and somehow he is related to me. _Figures with my luck._

She goes on, "He and Metea had a son who chose to live on land. They granted it to him with the knowledge that from then on the line would stay on land. He was the continuation of your line on land but he still had mer- blood so it has always been there through the years."

I ask, "So my grandmother wasn't supposed to come to the sea?"

She shakes her head, "No, her relationship with Jaspen was not taken lightly."

I suddenly feel like I need another nap.

I ask, "If they didn't want her in the sea then why didn't they refuse to let her be with Jaspen?"

She shakes her head and I wait. I think she is doing the Jack thing where I'm not going to get the whole story.

She answers, "At the time Jaspen was Seamus'closest friend and ally. Seamus created the possibility of a choice starting with your grandmother."

She continues, "He did it as a gift for Jaspen."

I ask, "So that is why I had a choice for this?" She nods and realizes I am on overload and shutting down.

She suggests I go and take a nap in one of the rooms. It is night now and my body is used to that time cycle. I wonder how one would know what time it is under the sea but I take her suggestion and head to the first room I can find. The bed has a blanket the color of the ocean and I think about Jack's eyes. Things would be so much easier to understand and handle if he were here. The void in my chest grows just thinking about him. I miss him so much.

#

When I wake Amber is sitting in the front room reading a book. I walk in and plop down next to her, "What are you reading?"

She shows me the cover, Romeo and Juliet, one of my favorites.

I state, "One of the greatest."

She looks up and nods, "This is my third go round with it."

I smile and think maybe Amber and I are alike in a lot of ways.

I approach the Jack subject again, "Do you think I can see Jack anytime soon?"

She sets her book down between us and looks up at me. I can see her eyes have changed to green. I'm starting to wonder if I like this family trait of the Tanners, the telltale of their moods, before they even speak.

She looks down and starts, "Ever, this whole situation is very delicate."

I ask, "What do you mean it's delicate?"

She starts to tell me something a couple of times but I can tell she is struggling with what to say. Yet another Jack trait that I am finding a little annoying at the moment.

She gets up and tells me she needs a drink and asks if I would like anything. I tell her water would be great and then she's gone into the other room.

_Okay so what can be so hard to tell me? Is Jack still missing? Did Jack get hurt in this whole mess because of me_?

My mind starts to wander and I don't like the scenarios I conjure. Amber comes back with water and hands it to me before sitting down again.

She looks straight into my eyes and explains, "Ever, you truly aren't supposed to be here. To put it bluntly, Jack was sent to make sure you chose to stay on land. Additionally, a message was sent to your Gam-aw so that she could assist and encourage you to stay put."

I am a little surprised. Jack? It makes sense though because he was shocked, almost upset when I made the comment about choosing the sea. And Gam-aw, she tried really hard to convince me that I needed to stay on land. I'm starting to get mad at this point. _Here I am so what does it matter anymore._

I tell her angrily, "Well I made this choice whether a wrong one or not and here I am so what now?"

She looks around the room as if trying to avoid my gaze at all costs. But I'm determined; I cross my arms and stare at her.

Finally, her cloudy green eyes meet mine and she says with sincerity, "No one can know you are here. Jack sent word to me that you may make this choice and told me to check the beach for you yesterday. He was right. There you were just waiting for me. He also said you are very stubborn."

I grin inwardly at that last remark because it sounds so like him.

I get that familiar ache and ask, "Okay he sent word to you, where is he then and why can't I see him?"

She looks at me with a downturned mouth, "Ever, Jack is in a rather precarious situation"

My heart drops. My worst fears are coming true. She gets up to take our glasses away.

I tell her, "Tuesday was the last time I saw him. One minute he was at the lake with me and the next he and two Erebus boys were gone, as if they disappeared into thin air."

She nods, "Then he must still be with the Erebus."

I start to panic asking with a shaky voice, "Will they hurt him?"

She shakes her head with a confused look. "No, I'm fairly certain they won't. It is very important that Seamus does not find out that you are here. It will be very bad for me and Jack if he finds out."

I'm starting to feel very uncomfortable because from the looks of it, my Gam-aw's ex is still heartbroken so he could be dangerous to me, and for some reason my great grandfather can't know that I'm here. Now I am truly wondering if I made the right choice. Where is Jack? He is my only reason for being here.

I tell her as I stand up, "Well apparently being here is a bad situation all around. Here I am though so let's make the best of it and find Jack."

She laughs, "Jack said you are determined but I didn't realize." I smile at that. Maybe I won't get resistance like I thought.

She comes to face me and says, "First things first, if you are going to be of any help finding my brother, then we need to get you comfortable with the water."

At her last words the room starts to fill with water again. I look at her panicked. She smiles and reminds me, "Remember, 'will' your fin." I nod. _Okay think fin...no legs...fin._

The room is almost completely full and I am treading water almost touching the ceiling. I still have legs and Amber is gone; she has disappeared into the water below. I focus...fin, fin, fin, then I think about Jack and see his amazing, brilliant eyes and suddenly I'm not treading anymore. I duck down into the water and examine the fin that has replaced my legs. The transparent scales are incredibly beautiful and sparkling with the movement of the water. They almost glitter; I can't take my eyes away from my new appendage. I hear laughing and look up to find Amber laughing at my amazement.

She giggles, "I guess I didn't give you a chance to enjoy it before. Did I?" I shake my head staring and admiring.

She tells me, "Listen Ever, we need to keep a low profile when we swim through the city. I am going to take us around the outskirts so that we can practice."

I look up suddenly and ask, "Practice?"

My voice sounds mesmerizing to my ears as I speak in the water, almost as if I am humming the words. This new world is going to take some getting used to.

She giggles again at my response to my voice. "Yes, you need to practice and become more acclimated to the sea. Everything underwater is more deliberate if you will. Everything you hear, see, smell, taste, and feel will be more heightened and affect you more than on land."

I stare, wide eyed. I have a lot of practicing to do; glancing back at my fin which I can't believe is a part of me.

She starts swimming toward the door. It opens for her before she can touch it and I see the water beyond. It is so amazingly beautiful. She takes off and swims left when she leaves the dwelling. I quickly follow. The fin is amazing as it pushes me so fast and I put forth so little effort to keep up I glance around and notice this is not the way we came in yesterday. The dwellings start to change. As we swim they become smaller and look less iridescent than the ones around Amber's. The colors turn to more muted browns and greens. I also notice there are very few mer-people in the water in this direction.

I speed up so that I am swimming next to Amber and ask, "Where are all the people?"

She glances at me and states, "This area is where, how do you say it on land, less gifted mer-people reside."

I say, "Oh."

I let myself drift back behind her to focus on my surroundings. As we swim the dwellings start to have more space between them until finally we slow down and stop in what looks like a field of sea grasses. It takes my breath away. As far as you can see ahead of us is sprawling green sea grass dancing back and forth with the sway of the water.

Amber turns around and says with anticipation, "Okay, let's see what you can do."

I must have a confused look on my face because she elaborates, "All mer-people have 'wills' but we each have different ones."

I say, "Jack..."

I have to stop because I'm not used to the tone of my voice under the water. It sounds so musical.

Amber laughs again, "Did Jack share his 'wills' with you?"

I nod and explain, "He showed me his hands and moved a large stone without touching it."

She agrees, "Yes, because we were born in the sea and have always been here, we have few 'wills'. You on the other hand, should have more, being from both worlds."

I'm so confused at this point but I assent anyway, "Alright, tell me what to do."

She faces me and puts her hands on my shoulders. I see the blue pass over the green in her eyes and think of Jack.

She explains, "You need to relax and close your eyes. Then focus. The first thing I want you to do is feel the sea around you, become a part of it, focus on the feel of it and the sounds around you."

I close my eyes and picture the color blue. I sway with the water around me and listen for the grasses around us. When I open my eyes a few minutes later, I look around and we are surrounded by a perfect circle of sand where the sea grasses have disappeared. I am shocked. When I look at Amber, I find that she has a huge grin on her face.

I ask, "Did I do that?"

She nods excitedly, "What else can you do? I've never seen that before."

I shrug my shoulders and close my eyes again to focus on the water around us. Suddenly, I feel little pin pricks touching my arms all over. When I open my eyes this time, I find a huge school of silver fish are swimming around us. Amber raises her eyebrows in surprise.

She exclaims, "Wow, you can summon other sea animals. Try for something bigger."

I look at her confused and ask, "Bigger?"

"Yes, something larger than these tiny fish." She swirls around in a circle for effect.

I close my eyes once more and focus. When I open them a couple of minutes later, I hear her gasp, swimming towards us is a huge great white shark. She turns with a mischievous grin on her face.

I am panicked at this point and I ask, "Should we start swimming the other away?"

She laughs, "No Ever, on land a shark may be a threat to someone swimming in the ocean for leisure, but a shark is no match for you now." I nod at her, mesmerized as the shark swims right past me almost glancing my shoulder.

I suddenly feel tired again as if I could take a day long nap.

Amber sees this because she tells me, "After exerting your 'wills' you may feel really tired, especially after your first time using them. We will practice a little bit more and then head back so you can rest."

I ask, "So what's next?"

"Let's see if you can do the usual."

She explains, "Most mer-people can move things without touching them and have lighted hands."

I look down at my hands and ask her, "How does it work?"

She reminds me, "Remember, you just have to focus and think about it."

So I look at my hands and think about lights coming out of them, nothing happens. I try again but close my eyes and remember the little rays, coming from Jack's fingers the first time I saw him. I open my eyes and my fingers have a dull glow emanating from them.

Amber giggles, "We'll have to work on that one."

She says, "Okay last one, moving something without touching it.This one is going to really drain you."

She swims to the edge of the field of grasses and I follow. She guides us to a place where there are rocks and a coral bed. I stop and spot a rock about the size of my hand in the sand. I close my eyes and focus on lifting it. I open my eyes quickly to see if I am making anything happen. It seems to be wiggling but hasn't lifted yet. I focus on just the rock and feel the water around me. It seems to give me more energy. The rock is really wiggling and I can see it's a whole lot bigger than I originally thought. I thrust my hands out in front of me as if trying to lift an imaginary object. Suddenly the rock is free and is actually the size of a small boulder. Amber looks at me with a surprised look and uses her hand to lower my arms. As she does this, the rock lowers back into the sand.

She gasps, "Amazing, I am beginning to think there is more to you than we think."

I frown, "What does that mean?"

She tells me, "Most of us can move small objects with our minds but you used your arms, and that rock was giant." I suddenly feel exhausted.

She nods at me, "Let's get you some rest."

_I feel like all I've done is sleep since I've been here, how can I be this tired. I wonder if mermaids sleep a lot. Maybe that's why Gam-aw left; I chuckle to myself at my own dumb joke. Maybe I'm delirious too._ We swim back to the dwelling for my third shut eye since I've been here.

#

I find myself back in the cave but Jack isn't sleeping this time. He is waiting for me, or so it seems. I turn around and the blue in his eyes makes me stand frozen. He smiles and I feel warmth. He wraps his arms around me causing electricity to flow and our lips touch lightly. I can't let go of him. A loud noise echoes through the space. My heart skips a beat and we're running. Blood is racing through my veins. Jack grabs my hand and we jump. I brace myself for the cold water that I know is coming but I feel nothing.

I wake up slowly this time and glance around. I'm in the room I slept in before, with the blue blanket but I'm not surrounded by air as before. I am still surrounded by water. I look down and I'm shocked to see that I still have my mermaid fin. I don't think I will ever get used to this. It isn't hard and rough as you would think like a fish. It is smooth and soft, the exact opposite of what it looks like. And strong, I am amazed at the strength I have. My legs could never have carried me as fast as this fin can.

I get out of bed and swim out into the hall. I peek into the room beside mine and see that Amber is still sleeping. I glide into the kitchen and find an apple. I finish my meager snack and head to the largest room. Once there though, I decide to keep going and swim out the door. I remember Amber told me a low profile is necessary so I decide to keep to myself. I've been here a full day and still don't know anything about the city. I want to explore. Once out the door I turn right. Sprawling out in front of me are the most incredible structures I have ever seen. Just imagine the buildings of New York City and double their size. Add amazing colors and rounded edges. The unreal part of it all as I swim around wandering, is that we must be hundreds of miles down under the surface of the water. These buildings stretch so far up into the sea. They look like they could touch the sky beyond the air.

As I swim, I notice all the structures are situated parallel to each other but all the roads, if they call them that, point in the same direction. I swim through them. It almost seems as if the roads mimic the spokes of a bicycle. I decide to turn down one and swim in the direction they all seem to point. After swimming for about twenty minutes, I notice a different structure coming into view. It has columns and points jetting out in all directions on top. I swim closer and notice it is very large, but nothing in comparison to some of the other structures. It almost resembles a sort of castle on land. It glimmers in different hues of blue and white as the water sways around it. Then I see something white surrounding it, almost resembling a gate just very thin almost transparent. From far away, it wouldn't even have been noticeable. When I am about twenty feet away, I see two mermen gliding through the water on the other side of the gate, pacing back and forth. I suddenly realize, this must be where Seamus and Metea live. My heart speeds up as I realize, I shouldn't be here because Amber said he couldn't know I am here.

I quickly turn around and start swimming back down the road I came. After about ten minutes I stop because nothing looks familiar. I am not recognizing anything from swimming down this road before. I am completely lost. I must have gotten turned around. I head back toward the castle.

Once there I realize, duh, I'm in the sea, I can just swim up and see where I am. I start to swim up glancing back down, occasionally. The structures are surrounding me with their immense size. I glance back toward the castle and stop. From this view I can see I was totally right about the bike spokes. The castle has about forty of those roads heading out in all directions. I realize also that even from this vantage point, there is still no way I will be able to find my way back to Amber's. All the roads turn in different directions and connect in various angles after branching out from the castle. I'm stumped at this point. Amber is going to be so worried and angry.

I swim a little higher to see if it will help. The blue sky beyond the water pulls me toward it. The sky is brighter the higher I ascend. Looking around I find that I've passed the highest point of the highest structure. About a half of a mile from the surface and suddenly I hit something. I try to swim higher and I'm thrown backward. It's almost as if there is an invisible wall between me and the surface of the water. Shocked, I swim further and try to go up again. After swimming parallel to the surface for what seems like an hour, I try to swim for the surface again and I'm thrown back. This is starting to worry me, big time. Am I to never see the sun again? I look back down at the city, which from this view looks tiny, like one of my brother's little model cities for his matchbox cars when he was little. This thought makes my heart ache. If I can never surface, then I will definitely never see my family again. I never realized how final it would all be. I'm feeling scared now and I realize, truly alone.

As I swim around debating what to do, I glance down and see two figures swimming in my direction. Inconspicuous must not have worked. There is nothing near to use to defend myself. Then I remember the fish thing that I did earlier in the day. I close my eyes and imagine immense amounts of fish swimming all around me. The familiar pin pricks tingle down my arms. I open my eyes and thousands of silver fish are swimming all around me and the two figures coming closer. I turn around the other way and swim as fast as I can. When I glance back again, the two figures are still stuck in the middle of the fish. I start to swim back down. The only person who can help now, is Amber.

Suddenly, someone else is swimming towards me. Panic settles, the fish thing will only work so many times. As the person gets closer, the color purple catches my eye and relief washes through me. She gets closer and green flashes over her eyes with a very large frown.

Ten feet away she starts in on me, "Ever, I have been going crazy trying to find you. You can't just go wandering around. You might get caught and believe it or not that will get me into a lot of trouble. Do you realize they could have seen you up here? Why are you up here anyway?"

Then she spots the school of fish surrounding the two mermen far behind me and asks, "Did you do that?" I nod and wince, waiting for her to finish.

She goes on, "Oh great, now someone knows you are here."

I ignore her anger and ask, "Why can't I swim to the surface? It's almost as if there is an invisible wall blocking me from getting to the surface."

Her eyes cloud over and she says simply, "You chose the sea."

I'm getting very angry now, "That doesn't mean I never want to see the sun again."

She shakes her head sadly, "I told you Seamus made laws forbidding land and sea from meeting. This is part of it."

All I can do is swim around angrily when what I really want to do is throw something. "That is so....not fair...are we prisoners or something...no one told me this part."

She reminds me, "You were supposed to stay on land, remember?"

I start to swim back down into the depths. Amber places her hand on my shoulder but I shrug it off. She zips in front of me and I follow her all the way back to her dwelling. We don't speak a word the whole way. I'm so beyond mad. I made this choice for someone, who I don't even know if I will ever see again. I gave up my family, friends and ultimately pretty decent life for what? I'm not sure I know anymore. I'm beginning to think I made a terrible mistake and I can't take it back.

Back at Amber's dwelling I ask, "Can I have air?"

She looks sadly at me and wills the water away. I will legs and land on the floor with a thud.

She starts, "I'm sorry..."

I don't let her finish. I swim to the room with the blue blanket and close the door. I am so disgusted with myself. I just can't talk to her right now. Curling up with the blanket, my mind drifts, thinking about Jack. We've only known each other; for maybe a month and I gave up everything for him. I must be crazy making that kind of sacrifice. My heart flutters when I remember how he makes me feel. The electricity and warmth we feel when we're together. He makes me feel so complete. That's why this choice was so easy to make. _Loving him is worth this I decide for the moment and I doze off._

#

I wake feeling refreshed and charged for the decision I made before falling asleep. First things first though, my stomach is famished. While walking to the kitchen I realize that legs actually feel awkward now that I've been here a little while. Amber is making more fish.

I ask her, "Is this all you eat?"

She answers, "We usually don't cook it, you know sushi, but I thought you would need to ease into that part."

Oh great more news, raw fish, yuck!

When we finish eating I tell her, "Amber I made this choice for one reason and one reason only, Jack. I know you tell me he has a job and we aren't supposed to be together and all of that but truly, I don't care."

She shakes her head with cloudy eyes and starts to say something but I cut her off, "I was not born here. I have no obligation to anything concerning the laws of the sea. My only focus is Jack. I've been working out a plan."

She hesitates and grins at this, "You are so stubborn, aren't you?"

Nodding, "My family will attest to that. The first part of my plan is to find a way through that invisible barrier keeping us from the surface. I know Jack is on land."

She looks at me with a sly grin, "Well consider your first part done. That was easy. What's next?"

I'm confused, "What do you mean? Do you know how to get through?"

She nods, "Of course I can get through. Remember I'm a guide." Oh, that part slipped my mind.

I ask, "You can get through but can I if I am with you?"

She smiles and says, "As long as you are with me, yes."

Then she frowns and asks, "How do you know Jack is on land?"

"Well, I have had this same recurring dream since I met him. Most recently a new part has been showing in the dream. Jack in a cave."

She looks down and shakes her head.

I ask worried, "What does that mean?"

She looks up at me curiously, "It's really you, isn't it?"

I'm completely confused.

"What do you mean? Does my dream mean something bad?"

She shakes her head, "I have no idea what your dream means except that maybe you have seen where Jack is. I am amazed at this because it has been said in the sea that someday Seamus would be challenged by a very powerful mer-person from the land. I am beginning to think it might be you."

I shake my head, "No probably not me. I am only here for Jack."

She nods, "I know but the more 'wills' you exhibit, the more, I think you might be the person in the stories. I have never heard of someone having 'wills' within their dreams. That displays a lot of power."

I brush her off and decide I don't want to talk about some old mer-people story. I might just lose my nerve to help Jack.

We plan to leave the next morning. Apparently I will be able to 'will' legs to walk on land. Jack and my Gam-aw told me some tall tales to scare me away from the sea. Obviously it didn't work.

I am not familiar with the California landscape but I'm guessing Jack parked his car near the beach and hiked up into the mountains nearby that overlook the ocean. The cliff in my dream looks out over the ocean. The cave can't be far. It's just a matter of looking.

I tell Amber we will have to go into the local town first to get supplies because there is no way to know how far we will have to hike and I want to be prepared. She is very uneasy about the whole plan especially taking me back out of the ocean. I assure her I will not implicate her in anything if we are caught.

Who am I kidding? I have no idea what I am up against, if I do get caught by Seamus or Jaspen. The only thing I know for sure is that I need Jack and I won't be happy until I find him. What comes later, I will at least have Jack with me to face whatever it is.

We wake early the next morning and she 'wills' water again. I was just getting used to the legs again and here's the fin. We start out the door and turn left. Amber leads us out of the city toward the deep water as they call it instead of the beach. She says that we have to leave where there are less people, especially since they might know I'm here now, due to my brief encounter yesterday. As we swim, I begin to get the feeling as if someone is following us. I glance back and spot three mermen about a block behind us.

I speed up and tell Amber, "I think we're being followed."

She looks back, "Oh great, those are castle mermen. They must know you are here."

She takes my hand and we speed up turning around a corner down a path between two structures.

She tells me, "We probably won't be able to outswim them. You're going to have to use a 'will'."

I look at her dumbfounded.

She takes my hands and tells me, "Focus Ever, think of something to slow them down."

I close my eyes and imagine a huge bubble. Nothing else comes to my mind. When I open my eyes Amber is glancing around the corner.

She exclaims, "Ever, you are incredible."

I peek down the path and all three mermen are trapped in a bubble of air.

I freeze and worriedly ask, "Will they be alright in the air like that?"

She smiles and squeezes my shoulder, "They will be fine."

We take off towards the deep. I'm thinking that I might really get into trouble now.

It takes half the day to get out of the city and circle back around. When we drag ourselves up onto the beach, we are completely exhausted. I notice that my clothes are still in the pile where I left them on the beach, what seems like weeks ago. I gather them up and find my keys exactly where I left them. Amber notices Jack's car as we walk through the lot.

She asks, "Did he leave it here?"

I shrug my shoulders, "I guess. It was here when I came the other day. It doesn't seem like it's been touched since." She climbs into the passenger side of the jeep. She seems very uncomfortable.

I assure her, "Amber, everything will be fine."

She looks at me, "I'm just not used to being on land."

I laugh, "Funny, I guess things come full circle now that our roles are reversed." She smiles. I think of Jack and I get butterflies in my stomach. _Here we go._

We pull up to a small sporting goods shop a small while later. I have clothes but Amber is still only wearing her bikini. We decide that she will stay in the jeep while I get the supplies. I head in and pick up snacks, water, backpacks, clothes for Amber, a jacket and hiking shoes for both of us, rope, and a couple of items the clerk said I couldn't go hiking without like a tent. Fortunately, I have my mom's emergency credit card to pay for everything. Unfortunately, I feel terribly guilty without calling home. If I don't call this will lead them on a wild goose chase trying to solve my disappearance.

I slip around the back of the store and use the payphone. I dial while trying to come up with a good story.

My mom picks up on the first ring, "Ever, is that you?"

"Yeah mom it is. Sorry for not calling sooner."

She takes a deep breath. I can tell she's been crying.

"Where are you, honey? We've been so worried. Are you alright?"

I nod, as if she can see me, _ridiculous_.

"Yes, mom I'm fine. I just needed some time away... I'm...uh... eighteen now. I am perfectly fine and I love you both."

My cryptic answer doesn't seem to help.

She pleads, "Where are you? Please come home."

Maybe calling was a bad idea. At least they know I'm still alive.

"Mom, I'll be home in a couple of days. Please don't worry, I am fine, I just need some time."

She assents, "Okay honey, please call again to let us know how you are."

As I am hanging up the phone, a shadow falls across the sidewalk causing me to jump, and Amber is standing there staring at me like I've committed the ultimate of crimes.

She looks at me so worried, "You called your family? This is so bad. Once you go to the sea you are supposed to stay there and never have contact again."

"Well obviously I'm not still in the sea anymore. I'm breaking rule number one and two. I just needed to hear my mom's voice."

She turns and walks back around the building toward the jeep looking totally defeated. _Great, now I'm guilted from everyone_.

Climbing into the jeep I tell her carefully, "Amber, you said yourself that I might be the person your people have been waiting for, right?"

She crosses her arms and looks over at me not convinced. I continue, "Well if that's the case everything will change anyway?" She nods looking like she's about to be sick.

"Are you alright? Are you getting sick from being out of the water?"

She shakes her head and gives a half smile, "No, nothing to do with water, just worried that I will seriously pay for all of this."

I assure her, "I told you, it's all me. I'm the responsible party here." Giving her my best smile but I'm not sure how convinced I am myself.

We decide to head back over to the beach to start our hike. The higher we can get in the jeep, the better. The beach lot is not the lowest point but the road skirts the coast and climbs up the mountain. I reason that this way we can save some time and search area. Once we reach the highest point and the road levels out, it turns inland and heads around a wooded area. This is exactly where we should start looking. The trees stretch upward as high as you can see. They seem to touch the sky. Their beauty is incredible. Our trees in Pahrump don't compare. My dream had woods and the cliff but I don't remember a road anywhere near. This wooded area looks just like the area I envisioned. We park and get out of the jeep.

I turn and ask Amber, "Are you sure you want to come? I have to do this but you can go back and I will completely understand."

She grabs my hand and squeezes while she says, "A few months ago Jack was my only family. I've seen a change in him and I know you are the cause of it. I only want the best for him and if he believes it is you then that is good enough for me. If you can sacrifice all that you have known for my brother then the least I can do is help you find him."

I grin and squeeze her hand while smiling, "Here we go then."

We start walking into the woods. None of our surroundings seem familiar yet. After walking for about an hour and still not recognizing anything, we decide to keep going deeper into the trees but staying within a half of a mile of the coast.

Amber asks me, "So I didn't ask before because I was afraid of your answer but I want to know. Was he alright in your dream, Jack?"

I smile remembering how it felt when he gathered me in his arms.

"Amber, in the last dream it was almost as if he was expecting me. He was able to hold me and kiss me. It felt so real." She stops in her tracks. I stop and turn around to look at her.

"What is it?"

She looks at me like she's terrified, "You interacted with him in your dream, he knew you were coming?"

I nod, "It seemed like he knew. But it was only a dream."

She asks me, "Can we camp here and start again in the morning? I think we need to rethink some things."

"Whatever you think would be best."

We set up the tent and start a fire. We eat some of the snacks from the sporting goods store.

Amber starts, "Ever, you need to know that the Erebus are very dark and their 'wills' are different than ours."

"What can they do?"

"Many of them are able to control others to a point."

I ask confused, "Can you give me an example?"

She seems to tread carefully, "For instance if you came there in a dream earlier and they somehow saw you, they might be able to control what happens the next time you come."

I frown, "But there was no one else there when I was in the cave either time and it was only a dream."

She shakes her head, "No you are misunderstanding. You wouldn't see anyone but they can sometimes control other people to do what they want. Your dreams seem to tell you things. There is a possibility that you are actually there while you are in the dream."

"You mean I was actually in the cave while I was dreaming? That's impossible."

Her tilted smile appears, "No, obviously you are finding many things are not impossible." I'm at a loss for words and she definitely has a point. Thinking back to the dream and remembering that Jack was almost waiting for me.

I tell her, "This time was different because Jack was awake as if he was waiting for me. Everything else about the dream was exactly the same as it had been before."

She looks perplexed, "Maybe they were just observing this time but Jack wouldn't know you were going to appear again. Some of the Erebus might, this I am sure of."

We both wake with the sun. The early morning light over the ocean is beautiful. It saddens me to know that this is something I may be giving up. We get a bite and pack up. By early morning we are back on the search. I am curious why I haven't had any dreams twice now. Although yesterday it was only a nap, my dreams aren't choosy about when they appear.

I say to Amber, "So tell me about your life."

She grins, "Well as you know I was born in the sea. Jack was born only fifteen years before me."

"Well if you live for so long then where are your parents?"

She looks a little uneasy at this question but still answers, "My parents believed in the sea powers. They supported Seamus and all he was doing for our people."

I chuckle, "Like keeping you prisoner and telling you who you can and cannot love."

She shakes her head, "No Ever, You only have half of the story."

I cross my arms, "Then tell me the rest."

She squirms uneasily and explains, "After Seamus realized the amount of power that comes from land and sea together, he forbade any relationships between the two. Not only because he didn't want to be challenged, that was his own selfish reason, but also for the good and preservation of our people. I've explained this part to you already. You see my parents believed that keeping our people true. That required that we stay in the sea. They shared this belief with Seamus."

She sighs, "Some of the Erebus are descendants of land and sea relationships. They are very evil and powerful. Seamus realized that a continuation of the possibility of descendants from land adding to our population would cause more turmoil in the sea. He changed our race as a whole when he made the sea his home but he is doing what he can to stop it from changing anymore. We were one people all Lior if you will, before he came."

As she explains, I am starting to see the other point of view. An involuntary feeling of admiration for my great grandfather courses through me. I, of course have a hard time with anyone's freedoms being limited wherever they are but his reasoning for the strict laws is understandable, a little.

She continues, "Our parents believed in this so much that Seamus granted me the role of a guide and Jack the role of a guardian. They believed if people like us were in roles involving descendants from the land, we might be able to influence them more and persuade them to stay on land." I am totally seeing where she is going with this. It makes complete sense now.

"Our parents unfortunately didn't survive the last attack of the Erebus."

Stopping I grab her hand, "Oh Amber, I am so sorry."

She squeezes my hand and tells me, "It's alright; they did something they truly believed in and died fighting for that cause."

We keep walking in silence. My thoughts are so muddled now. I'm beginning to see these people differently than how I felt just this morning.

Realizing the enormity of what she is doing for me I ask, "Amber, why are you helping me? I am everything your parents were fighting against?"

She looks thoughtful, "I am helping you because my brother, who so fully believes as my parents did, asked me to help you. You are everything my brother was against until a month ago. Then something happened."

I stop suddenly. I need to sit down. I find a fallen log nearby and crouch to sit. I put my head in my hands and remember that day when I looked into those blue eyes in my history class. Remembering the first time I felt the warmth radiate through me. The first time our hands brushed and the electricity.

I look up at Amber and ask, "Is that why Jack was trying to get me to stay on land?"

She sits down and explains, "Ever, Jack has been a guardian for a while now and every time the person has chosen land. He isn't supposed to get involved with the person and he never has until you. They chose land because that is what they truly wanted. He couldn't help but get involved with you. I think he fell for you the first time he saw you."

My heart melts at her words. "He wanted you to choose land so you wouldn't have to be involved in any of the mess in our world, for your own good. He wanted you to choose the sea for him because he didn't think he could live without you."

Tears run down my cheeks. _I have to find him._

I stand up with renewed energy, "Well let's find him then." She gives me a hug and we start walking again.

We walk for the majority of the day. Around dusk I spot it, obscured by trees and boulders. The entrance to the cave is narrow and barely visible but definitely the same from my dream. My heart skips a beat at the thought of Jack being so close. We stop about fifty feet from the entrance and hide behind a tree. We have to come up with a plan because there are bound to be more Erebus than just the two of us.

I ask Amber again, "Are you sure you want to go through with this?"

She brushes me off, "Of course, please don't ask again."

We decide to try and create a distraction because there are probably more things that can be used as weapons on the outside of the cave. Amber will create a distraction and I will go in after Jack.

We give each other a hug and wish each other luck. The plan stands that if we get separated we'll meet at the jeep. I skirt around the entrance, staying covered behind the trees as much as possible. Circling around behind the cave I spot two Erebus right away on one side of the cave. They look like they are bored out of their mind. I wonder why are they holding Jack in the first place? Why didn't they just let him go or as awful as it makes me feel to think of it, just kill him? There has to be another reason why they have him captive in a cave on land. I'm starting to get the feeling that I have a greater role in all of this other than the love struck girlfriend trying to rescue her boyfriend. I have to keep going though. Pushing all other thoughts from my mind I focus on getting into the cave.

There is a rustling noise where Amber and I parted. The two Erebus hear it too because they stand up and head in that direction. I stay put for a few more seconds and come around the cave from the back. No one else is visible so I slide along the cave wall to the entrance. It's completely dark, I can't see anything. Remembering my sorry 'flashlight hands', I lift a finger and will the light. A tiny glow shines. It figures, but it's better than nothing. Slowly, I creep into the cave. As I am swallowed by the darkness my fingers get brighter until they shine tiny rays. At least it's enough so that I can see where I am going. Maybe it just takes the dark for it to work.

The cave seems to go on forever. Shining the light all around, I find that the walls are covered with dribbles of water running from somewhere above. In front of me is what looks like a wooden door which is kind of weird for a cave but there is light shining from below. I tiptoe to the door and place my ear against it to see if there are any sounds, nothing, silence. I feel around for the handle and I'm shocked that it's a normal metal door handle. I turn it bracing for the click. It clicks and I freeze then push it open slowly. De'ja'vu' greets me. It is the same view from my dream. He's there as if he has just turned at the click of the door, like he knew I was there. I'm frozen at the sight of him. His piercing eyes find mine and the warmth spreads through my face and down my neck. He crosses the room so fast he's a blur and I'm in his arms. My arms wrap around his neck and he lowers his mouth covering mine. Softly our lips move against each other. I run my hands through his hair. I have missed him so much. Electricity spreads from my lips through my entire body and I can't think or focus. I just want him with my entire being. Then we hear a blood curdling scream.

We break apart and I look up into his eyes and exclaim, "Amber!"

He looks panicked. He asks with urgency, "Amber's with you?"

I nod.

He grabs my hand and we're running towards the entrance of the cave. As soon as we reach daylight there are three Erebus surrounding us. Looking at them I find their eyes entrancing with a deep yellow glow and those teeth. Two of them have four teeth in the front ending in a point. I remember them from the beach so long ago. I had imagined they were for tearing flesh apart. I attribute that to too many horror movies but seeing them close up, I can't imagine I am far off.

I look around for a weapon. It seems that Jack has the same thought. He starts hammering them with rocks and sticks from all around us. The Erebus are thinking the same as they toss rocks our way too. I remember there were big boulders at the cave entrance. Not sure I can do it this time but I'm willing to try. I back up so a boulder is in my line of sight. Trying to lift it with my mind proves fruitless. It just wiggles in place. I have to keep moving to avoid the constant shower of rocks. I close my eyes and focus. As I open my eyes I lift my arms and it whips through the air hitting one of the Erebus in the head. He falls to the ground and doesn't move. Whatever Jack was lifting falls to the ground without hitting his target. I distracted him. He turns toward me and looks at me with shock in his face.

I smile and ask, "Did you like that? Cause there's more where that came from."

The other two Erebus are coming toward us. I glance up at the nearest tree and find a large branch to focus on. I am learning that I have to actually use my arms and hands to help. It breaks loose and I send it toward the Erebus closest to me. He falls down and doesn't move again. Jack glances at me not with the amazed look this time. His expression mirrors disappointment. I can see the green creep into his eyes. Oh, how I've missed those eyes. He turns to the last Erebus and pushes him backwards against the tree without touching him.

Then he turns toward me frowning and says, "We need to talk but first let's go get Amber." He grabs my hand and we start to run toward the direction Amber and I came.

After about five minutes I feel a hand on my arm and I am pulled in the other direction. Someone yells, "Gotcha".

I turn to look and meet yellow eyes. I can't seem to move. Jack comes back around me and punches him in the face. The Erebus is surprised and releases his grip on me long enough for us to turn in the other direction. Jack takes my hand. As we turn we are surrounded by five more Erebus. We look at each other. I know what comes next because I've done this so many times in my dreams. We both turn in the opposite direction and run as fast as we can.

The cliff is looming ahead. I am scared to death. A dream is one thing but real life is another. This part has ended so many ways. I wonder which it will be. I hold onto Jack tighter. He turns to me with blue eyes. How can he be relaxed at a time like this?

He smiles and yells, "Hold on."

I nod and brace myself for the coldness that I know is coming. We leap off the cliff. It feels like we fall forever and I feel the chill of the water as we hit. Then I get the familiar warm feeling all over my body while 'willing' my fin and leaping up out of the water. I look around for Jack but my worst fear has come true. The worst of all the dreams, he isn't holding onto me any longer. I dive back under to look for him using my sorry excuse for finger lights.

Finally, I spot him lying on the sand and rocks at the sea bottom. He looks so small and helpless. I swim down as fast as I can and drag him back to the surface. He is still breathing but unconscious. Blood is seeping from a cut in his forehead. He must have hit his head in the fall. A glance around shows that we are surrounded by water and sheer rock. I'm not sure which side of the cliff will have a beach on it so I choose to swim back toward the beach I know. Although it is miles away, my hope is to hit a beach sooner than later.

Swimming by myself with the fin is one thing. Swimming with unconscious Jack is another. The current pulls at us. My fin works double-time trying to push us through.

I tell him loudly as I swim, "Jack, you can't leave me. Not after everything we've been through. I finally found you and we can be together now. Tears fall freely now and I can barely see where I'm going. Wake up. Please wake up because I love you."

It takes me about thirty minutes but finally, I find a beach where we can get out of the water. I will legs and I am almost instantly pulled under by the sheer weight of him. We get closer to the beach but we keep getting pulled back out by the current. The few people that are still on the beach must have taken notice of us. The next thing I know two big burly men are pulling Jack up onto the beach and a woman has her arm around my waist pulling me out. I cough up water to catch my breath.

One of the men announces, "An ambulance is on the way." I look at him afraid and then I turn to Jack and all I can focus on is waking him up.

The ambulance arrives and I refuse to leave his side. They load us into the vehicle and work on the cut on his forehead. One of the paramedics tells me, "It really looks worse than it is. We are more concerned about a concussion. It's very important that he wakes up."

They take us both to the hospital and I continue to whisper to Jack over and over, "Please wake up, please wake up, please wake up."

#

The next couple of days are a huge blur. We get admitted to the hospital and my only focus is Jack. They check me over and decide I will be fine but they need to keep Jack until he wakes up at least. Somehow they coax information out of me and the next thing I know, my parents are there. _Oh boy, how do I get myself into these situations?_

My mom and dad are much calmer and way more understanding than I would have expected. They don't ask any questions. I imagine they are waiting until I'm not such a mess.

I keep vigil by Jack's bed and they give me space. After a day he starts to stir. He opens those beautiful eyes which are bright green. I watch as the blue creeps in when he sees me leaning over him. Then he gives me his adorable half smile.

I tell him grinning, "It was touch and go there for a while. I was going to have to kick your ass or something."

Then I get serious, "You better never ever make me worry like that again."

He laughs and looks sad suddenly, "Ever, you chose the sea. Why?"

I look thoughtfully at him and smile, "I love you with all of my heart and I truly can't live without you. That's why."

He starts, "But you don't realize."

We hear the door creak open and my parent's faces peek around the corner.

My dad says, "Well, hello Jack, welcome back."

They come in and stand next to me. Jack gives me a worried look and all I can do is shake my head. I know I've made a bad situation even worse.

My mom starts fussing, "Jack, we didn't know who to contact. Do you have a number where we can reach your parents?"

He shakes his head uneasy, "No, my parents died in a car accident a long time ago."

My mom continues probing, "Well then honey, who can we call?"

He shakes his head and meets my eyes while he speaks, "My aunt lives in Los Angeles."

I am suddenly confused and I half listen as he gives them her name and phone number. I get up and cross the room to look out the window.

Jack has someone on land. What does this mean? Does this mean he is like me and Amber's story was not completely true?

Now I am even more confused than ever. I turn to look at him and his clouded eyes meet mine. He looks very worried. My mom announces that she is going to call his aunt and leaves.

My dad tries to make small talk, "Well I'm glad you will be alright, Jack." He is obviously very uncomfortable with the situation.

I tell him, "Dad, why don't you go and get a cup of coffee."

He nods looking thankful for the out and says, "That's a great idea Ever. Call me if you need me."

"Sure dad."

I sit back down next to the bed staring at Jack and ask, "You have family on land?" He looks out toward the window obviously avoiding my gaze.

He answers, "Ever, my aunt is on land. No one in the sea knows about her though, not even Amber."

I stare at him as he turns to meet my gaze. "She was born in the sea but when she was a baby my grandmother gave her to a family on land. She was born during a war in the sea and my grandmother didn't want anything to happen to her. Seamus was creating more of these laws restricting us so she committed her to live on land."

I ask, "Is that where you lived before coming to Pahrump?"

He nods, "I check in with her regularly and she helps me out if I need anything."

I ask curiously, "Does she know about the sea and everything?"

"Yes, she is fully aware of all the history but she tries to live her life here on land as normal as possible. She has no desire to live in the sea."

I have so many questions. This just adds to everything else I still have unanswered.

"Are you like me then because you have family on land?"

He shakes his head, "No, fully from the sea. My grandmother got her to the land just before Seamus developed the barrier over the city."

I just sit there thinking but not knowing what to say. We hear a knock on the door and my mom walks in with a nurse.

The nurse looks at me then at Jack and she says, "I hear our patient is awake."

She gives me a look that tells me I need to leave. I squeeze his hand and lean over to kiss him, "I'm going to go and get a bite to eat. I'll be right back."

He nods and winks, "Don't go too far."

I grin and turn to my mom. She puts her arm through mine and guides me out of the room. _Great, here it comes. I knew I was going to have to face them at some point._

She tells me, "I got a hold of Jack's aunt. She is on her way." Nodding I look straight ahead.

She asks, "Where did your father go?"

I absently reply, "To get coffee."

She steers me in the direction of the cafeteria. We join my dad after my mom gets coffee for herself and a juice and granola bar for me. I am really not hungry now.

As soon as she sits she lays into me, "Ever, where have you been? Do you realize what you've put us through? We have been so worried and here you are doing crazy stunts with a boy you just met. Did he force you into this?"

I look down at the table through her whole rant.

She continues, "You could have been killed jumping from a cliff. Do you have a death wish? Are you turning on us now that you're eighteen? Don't you intend to finish school?"

I look up at my dad and he is looking down at the table too, like he's embarrassed. I glance at my mom and meet her eyes. This is when she breaks down and starts crying. Now I feel completely horrible.

I grab her hand and explain, "Mom, I just needed to get away. Of course I don't have a death wish.

Tears start down my cheeks too, "Yes, I intend to finish school. Please don't blame Jack. This was completely my decision."

She looks at me through teary eyes and my dad puts his arm around her giving me a disappointed but I forgive you look. She cries into my dad's shoulder. I wait but nothing more is said. I really thought that was going to be a lot worse.

I get up and tell them, "I'm going to go and check on Jack."

My mom looks up still breathing erratically, "Ever, when we get home there are going to be rules. You may be eighteen but you still live with us and you're just not ready to... we aren't ready to let you go."

I nod as a tear rolls down my cheek, completely defeated. Of course there will be more to come. That couldn't be the end of it, not with my luck.

When I walk into Jack's room he is sleeping. I sit in the chair next to him to think. I have no idea where to go from here. We are finally reunited but things have changed and I've learned so much. There are still so many questions. If I go back to the sea I will betray my parents. But I'm breaking all the rules by not staying in the sea after making my choice. I look over at Jack and my heart fills with love. This boy lying next to me is all that matters. I decide that I can't bear to be without him so if he decides to go back then I will have to brave it and follow him.

Suddenly, electricity shoots up my arm. My eyes meet his. He is staring at me holding onto my wrist.

I smile at him and he asks, "What were you so deep in thought about?" I feel like my eyes cloud over now even though I don't have that trait.

I stammer, "Well, trying to decide where to go from here."

He raises his eyebrows still cheerful, "What are the choices?"

I decide not to go there. It might end in an argument. Instead I playfully taunt, "Well I was thinking I could go here." And I lean over and kiss his hand.

"Or here..." I lean over and kiss his arm.

"Or how about here..." I lean closer and kiss his cheek.

"Or better yet here..." I lean in and kiss his lips.

His hand comes around the back of my head before I can pull away and he kisses me hungrily. I kiss him back and electricity shoots to my toes.

When we part he tells me, "You can kiss me any of those places, any time." I chuckle and realize he obviously doesn't want to discuss anything right now either.

We hear the door creak and turn to see a tiny woman step into the room. Her wide beautiful smile that can only be a Tanner's, catches my attention first. She is older than I was expecting, maybe in her late eighties. Her gray hair is piled on top of her head in a bun but she seems much stronger than an almost ninety year old.

Jack greets her, "Hi Aunt Meredith. I would like you to meet Ever Harding."

She walks toward me and takes me into her arms in a huge hug. I notice she is actually stronger than someone her age should be.

She releases me and holds me at arms length, "You are every bit as beautiful as Jack described you." I smile shyly as a blush spreads through my face and glance at Jack.

He jokes, "Meredith, you just witnessed a first.

"Ever is never at a loss for words."

I shake my head and offer my hand, "Well, it is very nice to meet you, um Aunt Meredith."

She laughs and shakes my hand. The door opens again as my parents walk in. Making the introductions, I can tell they are more at ease while talking to Meredith. The nurse walks in about twenty minutes later and ushers everyone out except Meredith.

My parents corner me while we are out in the hall.

My mom says "Ever, we were thinking about heading home now." I nod because I know what's coming.

She continues, "We want you to come home with us."

"Well, mom I want to come home with you but I will need to go and get the jeep." I hope maybe this will help stall my exit. It doesn't work.

She tells me, "We can drive you to get it." I concede, not knowing what else to say.

"Let me say good-bye to Jack."

"Alright we will be in the waiting room at the front of the hospital." They are obviously not going anywhere without me.

I walk slowly back into Jack's room and he asks, "What's wrong?"

"My parents are waiting for me to leave with them to go back home. I don't think I can get out of this one."

He looks at Meredith and I see an understanding pass between them. He tells me, "Ever, you need to go back home with them."

I panic. What am I hearing? He wants me to go. He can see the panic in my eyes so he assures me, "They are letting me out of here today. I will be over tomorrow once I get my car and get settled at Meredith's."

I relax a little but I remember the Erebus. I start, "But the Erebus, what if they take you away again?"

He shakes his head, "They won't, they never wanted me. I think they got who they wanted, Amber." I'm shocked at this. I have to sit down.

He grabs my hand and tells me, "The whole thing was so that they could get Amber. They need her to get into the city."

I'm lost... I say, "So the whole thing was a trap and I lead her right to them."

He looks down, "You could never have known and she didn't know."

I jump up with renewed energy, "Then we have to go and find her. Will they hurt her? I should have seen this." My emotions are doing somersaults. I feel Meredith's hands on my shoulders and she gently pushes me back down into the chair. Jack grabs my hand again. The electricity seems to do the opposite this time and begins to calm me.

He explains, "We will go and find her in time. Right now you need to go home with your parents. I will be over tomorrow and we will make a plan."

All I can do is stare unseeing. I suddenly feel disconnected from everything. Meredith takes my hand and pulls me out of the chair. Jack sits up on the edge of the bed and wraps his arms around me.

He whispers in my ear, "I love you Ever Harding with everything that I am." And he kisses me quickly. I stare into his amazing eyes and realize he is my everything. I will do anything for this man.

The next thing I know Meredith is leading me to the waiting room where my parents are waiting for me.

#

_Suddenly I'm in a cave different from the one I saw when Jack was missing. This one is not as dark. The floor is wet and it smells like the sea. I turn around and spot Amber in the corner. She is sitting with her arms wrapped around her legs. She spots me as soon as I see her. She puts her finger to her lips as if to shush me before I can say anything. I rush over to her and kneel down whispering, "Are you alright?" She nods and whispers back, "Don't come and look for me, not yet, they are waiting for you." I frown and whisper back, "But I thought they wanted you, everything about Jack was a trap for you." She nods, "I know but they need you too." Before I can ask what she means, she gets up and pushes me toward the wall, "Ever, you need to wake up. They will know you are here."_ _I look at her sad eyes_ and I'm looking straight up at the white ceiling of my bedroom.

It takes me a minute to recognize where I am. Never have I been so happy to be lying in my ordinary bed, in my plain room, on land. The sun is just reaching through the blinds. It must be early morning. I raise the blanket to cover my head. I could lie here all day. If only my mind would stop tumbling.

There's a knock on the door and it creaks open.

I hear a familiar voice, "Ever, are you awake? I came over to see you."

Gabbi! I throw the blanket off rushing out of bed to hug her. She looks taken but embraces me tightly after a moment.

"Girl, where have you been? I've missed you."

I check the clock, 8:00, "You're here early."

She laughs, "Well I wanted to come and see you last night but your mom said to wait until today so I did. She didn't look very happy that it was this early when she answered the door but girl, I had to see you."

I walk back to my bed and climb in, she sits on the edge.

I start, "So tell me how are things? How's Reggie?"

She smirks, "You disappear for three days and you want to know how things are here in Pahrump?"

I nod.

"Oh no, you're not getting off that easy. Where have you been and what's this I hear about jumping off of a cliff?"

I shrug, "It's really a long story."

She crosses her arms, "Well I have the time to hear it."

I hear the door open again and we both look up to see my brother glancing around the room before his eyes settle on mine. I have to look at him closer, no yellow eyes.

He smiles at me, "Hey you, how are you? You gave us quite a scare." I frown for a minute and realize he looks genuinely concerned.

Smiling hesitantly I tell him, "I'm good James. How are you?"

He answers, "Good, I'll let you two catch up. I'm glad you're home safe, Ever."And he's gone.

I must have a confused look on my face because Gabbi answers my unspoken question,

"Your brother has been going crazy trying to find you. He plastered the town with flyers and your picture."

I look at her without really seeing her. Things are so different than I expected.

She bombards me again, "So tell me everything. Were you with Jack the whole time?"

I try to skirt around all the parts she doesn't know which is almost everything. I let her come up with her own story without having to say much. She comes to the conclusion that I was finally eighteen and decided to rebel by running away with my new boyfriend but it didn't go so well. We took it a little too far and decided to try cliff jumping. I just nodded as the story she came up with sounded good. She, at least, seemed satisfied. I'm sure once Monday comes around it will be the story of the week. Especially the way Gabbi spreads things.

Breakfast is awkward to put it lightly. I can tell my family is happy that I'm home but I was so vague with details. I can feel the trust I worked so hard to earn seep away. Oh well, what can I do? I'm a fugitive so to say, in my parent's eyes anyway.

My dad starts this time, "Ever, we have decided to institute some rules until we feel that we can trust you again."

Bam, right in the chest. There's that word again. I'm feeling so ashamed. I nod which is all I can do for fear of confessing every unbelievable thing that has happened during the past three days.

He goes on, "First of all training will be limited to the pool."

My mouth drops open. I wasn't ready for that one. I open my mouth to protest but see how serious he is. I shut my mouth tightly and realize the next thing might be even less appealing.

He continues, "You have to earn the lake back."

I nod miserably.

"Additionally if you want to continue this...", he hesitates looking for an appropriate word, "relationship with Jack," I smile at the mention of his name and lose my smile when I realize he is staring at me waiting. I look up at him without the smile.

"Then you are only allowed to see him here. No beach and definitely no Los Angeles." I am about to explain that I never went to Los Angeles to see Jack but I can see he isn't interested.

He adds, "Lastly, if you decide you want to go anywhere except school and home including the pool, you will call me or your mother."

I look down at my suddenly unappealing breakfast and ask, "May I be excused?"

Both of my parents answer in unison, "Yes."

As I'm getting up my mom explains, "Ever, you do realize this is all for your own good."

I give a half smile to assure her that I am not mad, "Sure mom, I understand." I head up to my room. Jack's gonna love this. How in the world are we going to help Amber?

Around mid-day my cell phone rings. I check and it's Jack. We decided before I left the hospital that he would call before he comes over to see how bad it is.

I smile as I answer, "Hi!"

I can hear his smile at the other end, "Hi you. So how bad is it?"

I laugh, "Well, I just got the ground rules at breakfast." I explain everything that was explained to me.

He laughs when I'm done, "I guess I need to be on my best behavior and not force you into leaving again."

I snicker. That of course must be what they think. I can only imagine what story they've conjured up with the nil amount of information I've provided. We decide that Jack will come and hang out tonight but of course, I have to ask first. I tell him once I get an all clear, I will call him back.

I spend the rest of the day watching mindless T.V. I attempt a book, Romeo and Juliet but decide it's just too heavy for my mood right now and it reminds me too much of Amber and the cave she is stuck in. I hear a knock on the front door and check the clock, four o'clock on the dot. Smiling I rush to open it. His eyes are the bluest ever. I rush to him and wrap my arms around his neck without warning. He almost loses his balance and sends us flying backwards down the steps.

He pushes me forward and laughs, "Hang on there killer."

I laugh and pull him into the house. We both turn around laughing. My dad is standing a few feet away staring at us, not amused.

Jack steps forward and offers his hand, "Hi Mr. Harding. I just wanted to apologize for everything that has happened these past few days."

My dad takes his hand and holds it in both hands while looking Jack in the eyes and tells him as serious as I have ever heard him, "Jack, this is our little girl and if anything like that ever happens again, I will personally hunt you down."

Jack nods and drops his hand. Talk about a damper on the mood. We head for the couch and snuggle, just happy to be back together.

Monday comes too quick and I find myself bored with the monotony of school. The highlights are history at the beginning of the day and biology at the end. Of course my whole reason for going is Jack. My mind keeps drifting back to Amber. She is being held captive against her will, all because of me. Every time I bring the subject up to him, Jack won't listen. I attempted to tell him about my dream over the weekend but he changed the subject. It really bothers me that he isn't concerned about his own sister.

The weeks pass with the same boring routine and I continue getting restless with each day that passes. Our current disagreement is this whole keeping up appearances on land thing. I told him everything that had happened starting with his disappearance at the lake all the way up until rescuing him from the cave.

It took him a long time to get over the fact that I chose the sea. He still blames himself and I can see a part of him that has changed with the guilt. I assure him every day that I would have chosen the sea regardless of whether he was around or not and I actually did in reality. But he knows the truth and carries it with him.

I ask him everyday when we are going to rescue Amber but he blows me off. He tells me that she is fine and there is nothing we can do for her right now. Once again, I feel shut out and under informed. Why does he do this to me? I'm almost tempted to head to the beach and figure it all out myself but truly, that prospect really scares me to death. Where would I have been without Amber? Now she's not here to help which means I would really be on my own. So I just play this little game, hoping each day that we will head back and rescue her.

During Christmas my family sees a lot of Jack and Meredith since the story is that they are the only members of his family left. My parents take pity and invite them to all things food and celebration. I can't argue with this so I let my qualms fade to the back of my mind and try to enjoy myself. Each day that passes, that I get to spend with him, I know him deeper and love him even more. We are pretty inseparable the entire winterbreak.

One day I ask him while we are sprawled out in the back yard having a picnic. We had to get creative within my new confines.

"Do you miss the ocean?"

He is surprised at my sudden question. I gave up talking about Amber a couple weeks back when I realized I wasn't going to get anywhere. I haven't mentioned the sea since.

He nods and I see the green creep into his eyes, "Of course I miss it but I wouldn't be able to go back now."

I sit up suddenly not believing my ears.

"Do you mean you're never going back?"

He shakes his head, "Ever, it's really complicated. I can't go back now." He looks so sad. At this point I feel a huge weight of guilt on my chest and I suddenly realize what he means. He has betrayed everything he believed in, all because of me.

I stammer, "You mean...are you...ashamed ...to go back?"

His eyes meet mine and that answers my question. Oh wow, I feel like I'm suffocating. I have truly ruined his life. I get up and start to pace.

"You know you can go back and I will stay here and leave you alone. Maybe you can claim temporary insanity. Blame me, that I held you captive."

He gets up and starts chuckling. The blue creeps back. He grabs my waist and pulls me to him, "Ever, I don't think you realize the enormity of us. I wouldn't change a thing, except your choice but you and me, never."

He looks out into the yard. "You don't understand. The only way we can be together is on land. I am completely satisfied with that. I will happily live here for the rest of my life if it means being with you."

Before I can say anything else, he kisses me passionately with his whole self and I melt. The electricity shoots through me and I give in. I forget all about the conversation and all the guilt weighing me down, at least for the moment.

School starts again and I focus on Jack and how happy he makes me. Every time the water creeps back to my mind I shut it out. I know it's only a temporary fix and sooner or later it will surface and we will both have to face it but I decide to follow Jack's lead and enjoy every moment together.

#

In mid- January my parents decide that I have been an excellent prisoner and they let me off for good behavior. Of course with limitations but the lake is back and notes instead of numerous phone calls are back in style. My first trip to the lake is a Saturday and Jack meets me there. As I get out of my jeep I realize that the last time we were here; it was the day Jack was 'abducted'. I shudder at the memory. He greets me with a kiss and I feel energized.

I ask him playfully, "How about best out of three?"

He laughs and says, "Guess I have some real competition now."

I smile and run for the bank of the lake stripping as I go. Jack passes me midway to the end. I smile as I try to catch up. Of course I could use my secret weapon. We reach the end and he wins bragging all the way up the bank. I look around to see if we're alone. We are so I hop on his back and he loses his balance. We collapse in a pile laughing. I wish we could be like this forever.

Everything is so perfect but then I remember he is truly not happy on land. I start to feel the weight return to my shoulders. Jack notices my sudden mood change and asks as he takes my face in his hands, "Hey what's wrong?"

I kiss him so that I don't have to answer.

I hop back up and race to the water calling behind me, "Remember best out of three."

He stands and takes off after me. This time I'm ready. When he starts to pass me I will my fin and take off. When I get to the bank I will my legs back and turn to find him treading water, barely swimming. I start to get concerned, and then I see his face and realize why he stopped, he's mad.

I try to make light of it, "Hey, I beat you this time."

He drags himself out of the water and sits on the bank shaking his head. "Ever, I wish you wouldn't have made that choice."

I sit next to him and grab his hand. "I am still the same person though."

He nods, "I know you are but sooner or later we will have to face this. If you would have just chosen land your life wouldn't have to change."

This is the most he has said about the water in a month. I'm determined to continue the conversation. I agree with him, "I know, but you wouldn't be a part of it. Worse, I wouldn't even remember you. I couldn't do that, as selfish as it may be, I just can't live without you."

He looks so sad as if in the same vat of depression I dealt with not so long ago.

I get up and state loudly, "This is what I am now so deal with it. Amber is missing. What are we waiting for?"

He shakes his head again. "You are the most stubborn person I have ever met."

I smile, "Okay, I can't say this isn't the first time I've heard that."

I ask again, "When are we going back?"

I'm pacing at this point. My blood is racing through my veins at the thought of heading back to the ocean. He shakes his head but doesn't say anything. I crouch beside him and grab his hand. I can feel the electricity shoot from me to him. He looks up meeting my eyes shocked. My eyes are pleading with him. He grabs my face and kisses me. I melt to the ground. Suddenly we are lying together on the bank. His arms wrap around me as our lips meet. I can feel the energy between us shooting through my body. I press against him. I can't get close enough.We fit together so perfectly. I run my hands through his hair. This energy is like none I've ever experienced. It's almost like a current that keeps running through us back and forth. I can't focus on anything except that I need Jack. His gentle touch caresses my cheek as our tongues dance.

Suddenly I feel a shudder down my spine and I know it's not from Jack. I pull away and I can tell he felt the same thing. We both scramble to our feet and look around. We are surrounded on all sides by Erebus, yellow eyes and jagged teeth in all directions.

I grab Jack's hand and ask under my breath, "What do we do?"

He looks at me with sad green eyes, "There's too many. We'll lose."

One Erebus steps forward and says with a deep, scratchy voice, "We just want the girl. Spare your life and surrender her."

Jack steps in front of me and a large rock flies toward the one that stepped forward. He raises his hand and it disintegrates into hundreds of tiny pieces. As I watch this the weight of our situation settles on my chest again and I realize what I have to do. I step out from behind Jack, squeeze his hand and see the fear in his green eyes as he realizes what I am doing.

He pleads, "Ever, you can't."

I shake my head as I let go of his hand, "I won't let anything happen to you again."

As I walk away from him it's as if he is frozen in place and he can't move because the look on his face is pure agony. I focus on the leader and walk toward him. He grabs my hand and suddenly we are on the beach. I glance around and it's just the two of us. Jack, the lake, and the other Erebus have disappeared. I'm shocked and disoriented. How did we get to the beach hundreds of miles away in an instant? I stumble at the realization.

He tells me, "This will be painless as long as you do as I say." I nod still shaken by the sudden change in location.

They must truly be powerful if they can travel like this from one place to another. We were in Pahrump a minute ago and now we're standing on the beach surrounded by the ocean over two hours away by car. I glance at the ocean and realize how fast my heart is beating and my blood is racing through my veins. I start to walk toward it. The Erebus leader follows. As soon as the water touches my toes I can feel the energy race through my body. I rush into the waves and will my fin once we're out a half mile. I glance back and the Erebus is close behind. He has given up legs for a fin too. At a second glance I notice his fin is alarmingly different than mine. Where mine is smooth and shiny, his is jagged and dull. My fin emits hundreds of colors, bright and shiny, while his is a brownish color, almost masked by algae.

My eyes meet his and I suddenly know where to go. I turn around and speed in the direction of the city, except we don't actually go into the city. As we near the immense structures that I still can't believe exist under the water, the Erebus takes the lead. As he leads us I reason that maybe I can turn and out swim him. There is, after all only one now. If I wanted to make a quick getaway now would be the time. As he guides us toward a formation of huge rock looking structures. I suddenly remember the cave from my dream and the familiar smell of the sea. Could the cave have been deep under the water instead of on land? Suddenly, I know I must stay with the Erebus and face whatever is to come if for no one else but for Amber. As we near the formation I notice other Erebus. They have completely blended with the cave formation but for their yellow eyes. I shudder as I remember my brother with those eyes. Thinking about all of the choices I have made I realize that each one has saved someone I love. I hope with all of my heart that this is the right choice and I can save Amber.

We swim to the largest of all of the caves. Now that I am among them I find that they are really larger than I first thought. That seems to be the case in the sea. I guess through the water, things look smaller than they actually are. The formation actually looks like a city within itself. There are Erebus everywhere and they all seem to be staring at me. I can feel dozens of pairs of eyes boring into me. Then I think of Jack and remember the agony in his eyes as I walked away from him. I feel nothing but guilt realizing how I've ruined his life. He stood for something he truly believed in and I changed it so that he can never return. I feel the familiar depression rushing back. This time it hits me like a ton of bricks. A hundred times worse than when Michael broke up with me, what seems like years ago now.

The Erebus leads me to a room, much like the room in the cave where I found Jack on land. He opens a wooden door and guides me into a brightly lit room. The only difference is that we are in the sea so everything is filled with water. I feel a little bit of relief when he leaves and the room stays full of water. I remember the room where I visited Amber in my dream. It was free of water. She had legs instead of her fin. I wonder if she is close. I have every intention of finding out.

#

Time in the cave seems to pass slowly. I explore all the walls and look for a place where I can get out but it seems completely sealed up tight. I try the door but it won't budge either. I think about using a 'will' because I might be able to will an exit somehow but then all the unanswered questions I have creep to mind. The first one being what could they possibly want with me? I decide to ride it out and wait. Someone is bound to show up sometime and maybe I can get some answers.

I hear the door click open after being there for a number of hours. The same Erebus enters and stares at me with those yellow eyes.

He states, "Jaspen will see you now."

My heart speeds up at the mention of Jaspen's name. Of course he has some sort of revenge plot. I should have known. This could be the end. The familiar void comes to me but this time I welcome it. I may never see Jack again but if this is it, I will be glad that he may be able to continue his life's work preserving his people. It isn't fair that I forced him to change his entire existence. As I walk behind this Erebus I form a peace with what may come. My end may free Amber and bring less turmoil to her people. We enter another room and the water begins to drain as soon as the door closes. I will my legs and immediately notice a man sitting in a chair directly in front of me with his legs crossed. He is wearing a sort of cream colored military looking uniform with boots and all. His dark hair and goatee make him look almost normal if it weren't for the yellow eyes. As soon as the water is gone another Erebus drapes a towel around my shoulders. I glance back and he's gone. I wrap the towel around me; feeling a little underdressed in only my bikini.

The man dressed in a uniform who must be Jaspen, gets up and comes toward me. He has a genuine looking smile on his face. I notice the jagged teeth are missing as well. He takes me in his arms as if to give me a hug. I just stand there completely confused and afraid to move.

Holding me at arm's length he says, "Well, we finally meet. My long lost granddaughter."

My mouth must have dropped open because he starts laughing. His laugh sounds evil and sinister though and a chill goes down my spine. I look around because I need to sit. He is obvious to this and offers the chair he was sitting in. I lean over propped on my knees, afraid I'm going to be sick and just stare at the floor. How can I possibly be related to this evil person? He must be mistaken.

I look up, confused and ask, "What do you mean, granddaughter?"

He looks thoughtful, "Oh, she didn't tell you."

I shake my head, "Who? Tell me what?"

He smiles, and it looks normal this time, "Your grandmother. She didn't tell you about me then?"

I nod, "She did."

His face suddenly shows understanding, "She told you about leaving but she didn't tell you that she was with child when she left."

I am shocked. I close my eyes praying that this can't be. That would mean that this is my mother's father, an Erebus. I shudder. I am related to an Erebus. This can't be a good thing.

I wonder if Jack knew. I can't decide either way. He didn't act as though he knew about my family lineage this way, but then, he has kept so much from me.

I look up at Jaspen and ask, "What do you want from me?"

He paces the room and stops in front of me looking disappointed. "I sent Erebus to stop you from choosing the sea. I even sabotaged your brother and your friend and you still chose the sea."

He turns and shakes his head at this.

Then he goes on, "It would have been best if you stayed put but because of your choice, I want you to join me."

I frown; this is totally the opposite of what I had expected.

I shake my head, "Join you? What are you talking about?"

He looks down and starts pacing again. I just sit there and stare. I have a hard time absorbing this information.

He stops again and turns toward me explaining, "We used to be a peaceful people until your other grandfather decided to mix two worlds."

He continues as I am processing. "He created a new world and new possibilities. Then he wanted to take it away. This is how evolution happens. People evolve, races mix, and the world is better for it. However, he decided to interfere once again. This time taking freedoms away and creating laws to rule the sea by."

I look up because I've heard this part before but from a different perspective. I can tell he is immersed in his explanation because he is looking at me but it doesn't seem like he is actually seeing me.

He states, "Long ago when land and sea were mixed a new more powerful people emerged. This created a problem for Seamus, making him paranoid that someone from the land could defeat him and take his place. After all, he did that very same thing to the original sea king."

He focuses on my eyes now and I can tell he is actually talking to me. "Ever, we are not evil as you have been told. We are just trying to make right what has been wronged in the world we share. Erebus and Lior are not as cut and dry as good and evil. As I am sure you have been told."

I am completely taken by all of this. Hearing him talk so passionately about this makes me almost believe him but then I think about Jack and how passionately he feels about preserving his people, the same people and keeping them in the sea. I feel completely defeated and I am suddenly exhausted.

He tells me, "I brought you here because you are more powerful than most people in the sea. I wanted to appeal to you to join in the cause of freeing our people and giving them the choice."

I shake my head, "These aren't my people. What if I don't want to be involved?"

He looks sad and stares at the ground before meeting my eyes again, "I did everything I could to make that statement true but you went against everything I did. They are your people now. You are a member of the sea because you chose the sea."

He glares at me and I can feel his yellow eyes entrancing me, "You will have to make a choice at some point."

At that he turns and tells me over his shoulder, "You should get some sleep."

Then he's gone as if he vanished into the air.

I think about everything Jaspen told me. One minute things can be so cut and dry and the next they are completely muddled. I made a choice between land and sea and all I could think about was the love of my life. I'm gathering now that the entire situation is much larger than Jack and I. Somehow I am smack in the middle of it. I guess if I wasn't so stubborn I might have chosen land and I would be unaware of all of this. My heart aches at that thought though. I would never remember Jack and what he means to me, if I had chosen land.

I suddenly have the need to talk to my Gam-aw. The enormity of this is starting to hit me and I feel like I need someone outside of the sea to talk to. At this thought I start to drift off. My last thought, those agonized eyes as I walked away from Jack today. I feel like I didn't just walk away to save him but I walked away and betrayed him.

I wake with a start, thinking about Amber. Glancing around I find I am still in the cave in air instead of water and I am lying on the dirt floor wrapped up in the towel the Erebus gave me so many hours ago. I have no idea how long I slept but I feel a lot more refreshed. It must have been a while.

I sit up thinking that Amber must be close. I decide to try a 'will' to find her. I stand and walk over to the door and close my eyes to focus on the lock in the door. I form a picture of the lock holding the door closed and envision it clicking. Suddenly I hear a click and smile. Trying the handle I find that it turns easily in my hand. I peek out into the hall and realize it's empty with still air. I walk out quietly and find three other doors. Pressing my ear up against the closest one I hear deep voices and laughter. The next one is silent when I press my ear against it. I try the handle and it won't give. I stand back and focus on the lock with my mind again. It clicks and opens.

Standing there staring with a disappointed look is Amber.

I smile at her anyway and whisper, "You had to know I was coming sooner or later."

She just shakes her head, looks over my shoulder behind me and tells me, "We better go before we're found out."

I nod, "This way."

We rush out finding a smaller hall off of the larger one, opposite from the direction of the room, I was in. She suggests we take it because it might lead out. I follow her hoping this escape can be painless. We walk the hall for what seems like ten minutes and come to a dead end. Of course it couldn't be easy. Amber is about to go back the way we came but I grab her shoulder and tell her to wait a minute. I'm on a roll after all. I might as well try again. I close my eyes and focus. I picture a window. Suddenly water is rushing into the hallway through a large crevice, the size of a small window.

Amber glances back at me and smiles, "Nice."

We both 'will' our fins as soon as the hall is full and we swim off.

After about a hundred feet I glance back and notice no one is following us. This surprises me. I thought for sure the Erebus would be after us by now. Amber starts to head in the direction of the city but I pull on her hand. She stops to look at me.

I shake my head, "I can't go there right now."

She argues, "But Ever, Jack might be there waiting for you."

I shake my head again, "I know and if he is that is where he belongs. I have to go back to the land for a little while." She looks completely confused.

I tell her sadly, "If you see Jack, please tell him that I love him and I hope to see him soon."

She looks mad at this point so I start swimming in the opposite direction to the surface and the beach.

She calls out to me, "How will you get through the barrier? Do you want me to come with you?"

I look back, "No, I'll be fine."

Once I get far enough away I look back. Amber is gone as are any trace of the caves. I focus, my reasoning is this, if I am actually related to Jaspen and he can travel like that Erebus at the lake, I just might have the same will. _Grasping here_ ...

I focus on Gam-aw and Chicago. Not sure if this travel thing has limits in distance but I guess I'll know soon enough. I envision her little apartment and 'will' myself there.

When I open my eyes, I find that I am still in the water but not in the same place. It seems like I've traveled a few yards away. _Just breathe._

I close my eyes again and remember Gam-aw's emotion as she told me the story of her life in the sea. Suddenly I feel cold porcelain beneath me and find that I am breathing air. I open my eyes and I'm lying in a claw bathtub surrounded by my Gam-aw's collection of blue and yellow glass bottles. I look up and Gam-aw is leaning in the doorway with a huge look of surprise and disappointment. I will my legs and clumsily climb out of the tub. She leaves without a word and comes back with a towel and some clothes.

She orders matter of factly, "Get cleaned up and then we'll talk." I nod and close the bathroom door.

When I enter the kitchen, I can smell fresh coffee and a chicken baking in the oven. I notice the kitchen hasn't changed in the four years since I've been here. It is cluttered with needlepoint pictures of fruits and vegetables all over the walls. My Gam-aw loves needlepoint and all things involving creating with a needle and thread. I sit at the quaint wrought iron table knowing how intense this conversation is going to be but how ready I am for it. No more evasive answers.

She brings over two cups of steaming coffee and sits across from me.

She starts before I can say anything, "I knew what you did when your parents told me you were missing. You could have saved so much trouble and heartbreak if you would have just taken my advice."

I acknowledge this with a nod.

She looks at me curiously now, "What do you want to know?"

I ask, "Is it true that Jaspen is my grandfather?"

She looks surprised at this but resigned, "Did you meet him?"

"Yes, I did and I am finding that the sea is not all light and dark, as you explained."

She shakes her head, "You are very right. That is exactly why I left. I didn't want to raise a baby in the midst of all that turmoil, especially a baby a part of both sides."

So it is true. Jaspen wasn't lying.

I relent, "Now I'm thinking that Jaspen wasn't seeking revenge on you, it was more about me and my choice."

She agrees, "I just thought the less you knew about the sea then you would be more likely to choose what you already knew." Her eyebrows go up and she chides, "Obviously I was wrong. You are so much like I was at your age."

I look at her painfully and ask, "So which side do I choose?"

She smiles, "Ever, that is your choice to make. Both sides are right and wrong in so many ways. This is now your burden and unfortunately whichever side you choose, you will affect the balance in the sea."

I look at her questioningly, "What do you mean I will affect the balance?"

She looks thoughtful, "Because of your bloodline. You are now the most powerful mer-person in the sea. Both sides will be fighting just to have you on their side."

I put my head in my hands. It is exactly as bad as I was afraid of.

I whine a little, "Gam-aw I just turned eighteen and all I wanted to do was fall in love, go to college and maybe live happily ever after."

She replies, "I will take some of the blame for not telling you everything. Maybe that would have helped you choose land but here you are with a different choice to make. There's no turning back now."

I can feel tears streaming down my cheeks. All I want to do is go back home, crawl into my bed and wake up with all of this behind me as a bad dream.

She asks, "Does Jack know about Jaspen?"

I shake my head, "I'm pretty sure he doesn't."

She looks around and her eyes rest back on me, "This will make it that much harder."

"You have the same traveling will?"

I admit, "This was the first time."

She says, "Well you are welcome to stay here but I would suggest you use it to go home before your parents realize you are gone again."

I take a deep breath. _How did things get so complicated?_ She feeds me before I go and hugs me.

She whispers in my ear as we are hugging, "It's going to get worse before it gets better but trust in yourself."

The tears fall harder as I close my eyes and focus on my jeep still at the lake in Pahrump.

#

I wake up the next morning still exhausted as if I didn't sleep at all. Considering the alternatives, at least it was dreamless. At this point, the last thing I want is to dream about the inner turmoil I feel every minute now. My parents have gone to their newest hobby, tennis lessons and I get a note from them telling me to write a note if I go anywhere. The trust is slowly coming back and I'm sure my late night last night didn't help things. Hopefully it didn't put me back any steps in redeeming myself. Getting some breakfast and juice, I enjoy the silence as I decide what to do for the day. I am choosing at the moment to ignore that I have the fate of the world in the sea on my shoulders. Today I just want to be a normal eighteen year old girl with normal eighteen year old problems. I do realize, however, that if my current boyfriend shows up in this equation, I might be in a little trouble.

I decide to call the bestie and find out if she wants to hang out. But first I check my email for anything not junk. I should have known an email this morning from Gabbi asking to check out a movie. I get on the phone and dial her number. As it's ringing I get a text. It's from Jack, which means he's on land, uh oh.

Gabbi answers, "Hi girl, I was about to call you. You want to check out a chick flick?"

I laugh, "I am so ready for a chick flick today. Name the time and place."

There are two theaters in our humble little town. One is older than the other and your feet tend to stick to the floor. This one is closer to my house and the other is closer to Gabbi's. I prefer the one that is newer and farther away. Gabbi picks the right one and tells me she'll see me at one. After I get off, I check the text from Jack:

Ever, we need to talk!

Why can't I just have one day with no talking? I decide to let the text go. If he wants to talk that bad I'm sure he'll find me. I know I have a complete attitude turn around from twenty-four hours ago but in light of recent new information, I have a lot to think about; which is exactly the opposite of what I feel like doing.

I have a couple of hours to kill so I leave a note and take off for the pool. Unfortunately, it's a little crowded. Fortunately, the lap pool has some spots. The season is starting in less than a month, so I focus, speed and endurance. I lose myself and focus only on the water and swimming. By the time I am finished there is a tiny audience of friends who work at the pool. They comment on how I'm gonna rock it this season. _Oh, if they only knew._

As I pull into my driveway, I notice the yellow car down the road. _Oh great, here we go_. I have pushed this conversation out of my head all day. I don't have the slightest clue how to talk to Jack about this without completely betraying him. I get out of the jeep and head for the porch. He's sitting on the swing waiting for me. As I climb the steps I notice his easy smile and his eyes. The blue rolls over as he gets up to greet me.

Before I can say anything, I am in his arms and feel the electricity coursing through me. I look up as our lips meet gently. We part and I linger, not wanting to face what I have to do.

He looks down into my eyes and smiles, "I missed you."

This is going to be so hard. I decide to avoid the subject just a little while longer and enjoy these moments together. We sit on the swing and just hold each other. I'm content to stay like this. Then he breaks my contentment. "So, how did you get away?"

I shrug my shoulders. "I picked the lock."

He tells me, "Amber said you have some new wills that she has never seen before."

I nod trying so hard not to elaborate. He seems to get the hint that I don't want to talk about it. Before he can say anything else that will make me tell him everything, I say, "So I have a date with Gabbi later. We're going to see some chick flick."

He smiles, "Good, I think you need that right now."

I nod my head and look straight ahead.

He puts his hand under my chin and turns my head to look into his eyes, green. _Here it comes._

"Ever, what exactly happened with the Erebus? Why did they let you go?"

I shake my head, "I really don't know why they let us go. I didn't think they did, but maybe...I guess they did. It was too easy and no one came after us."

I look away and whisper, "Jack, I met Jaspen while I was there."

I turn to look into his eyes to see if he is surprised or if he knows anything. He looks genuinely shocked and curious.

I stumble over my next words, "He told me... he is...um...I'm so sorry... my grandfather."

Jack looks at me with unbelieving eyes and starts shaking his head. Now I know that he didn't know and wasn't keeping it from me.

He starts, "No, that can't be. There is no way."

I nod, "I know I had the same reaction but it actually makes sense. My grandmother was pregnant with my mom when she left the sea."

He gets up and starts pacing across the porch. I think he is working out the logistics of it all. He stops and looks at me. I can see the pain in his face. All I want to do is take it back and put my arms around him but he deserves to know. He starts pacing again. I just sit there wishing I could curl up in a ball and wait for the next question that I know is coming.

He crouches down and takes my hands in his, "Do you realize what this means?"

I nod, "Yes, it's all I've been able to think about all day."

He looks like he is in so much pain. He looks afraid to ask the next question but he does, "What are you going to do? Are you considering...?" He leaves the second part unfinished.

I squeeze his hands and say, "I am considering everything."

He nods and winces like he was afraid that would be my answer. He gets up suddenly and says, "I need to go."

I stand up and put my arms around his neck not letting him go. I look deep into his eyes and tell him, "Jack, I love you with all of my heart and everything that I am." He nods and turns, breaking my grasp. I suddenly feel so empty watching him walk down the road towards his car.

That night, I am lying in bed turning all possibilities over in my mind. I don't see a way in which all of this can end well. I want to just side with the Lior and be done with it all. That is the side that Jack believes so passionately in after all. Then my voice of reason comes and reminds me that no one should have their freedoms taken away and I am the only one to help these people who are trying to make life different.

I decide to avoid the whole situation for a couple of days and see if Jack comes back to talk. I seriously doubt he will. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if he never talks to me again. Of course my heart breaks in half at the mere thought of this. How can I even breathe without him? But knowing what he stands for makes me so angry. Why do things always have to be so difficult?

I hear a knock on the door and James peeks around the door apprehensively.

I greet him, "Hey you, come in." He shuffles over to my bed with his hands in his pockets and sits on the edge as I sit up. He looks as lost in thought as I feel.

He asks me, "So what exactly did I do to you before you left?"

I look at him confused, "What are you talking about?"

He shakes his head as if to clear his thoughts, "I remember bits and pieces and some of the things I remember saying to you don't make any sense."

I brush him off; apparently his memory wasn't erased completely when Jaspen sabotaged him.

"Hey, you were fine, just a typical seventeen year old boy, I guess."

I smile for good measure.

He looks down to the floor.

I ask, "Is something else bothering you?"

He looks at me a little uneasy, "Um yeah, something weird is happening to me."

I frown as he takes his hands out of his pockets and turns them over, palms up. There are lights coming from his fingers. My mouth drops open but before I can say anything he gets up suddenly and stuffs his hands back in his pockets.

"Sorry I bothered you, I know freak right."

_Wow where is Jack when I need him?_ I shake my head and tell him "No, hey come back and sit down." I pat the bed beside me. He looks uneasy but sits back down.

I say carefully, "You are definitely not a freak. You said weird things. Is there anything else besides your hands?"

He looks at me and I can tell already.

"Well sometimes I can see yellow flecks creep in my eyes when I look in the mirror."

I know he is freaked out but so am I. Not exactly for the same reasons. I am dumbfounded. What am I supposed to tell him? _You are turning into a merman. Oh but that's not all, an evil one at that. Oh yeah plus, it's not supposed to happen to you at least until you turn eighteen._

But I actually say, "Hey, it looks to me like you're going through that boy change thingy."

He shakes his head, "Ever, get real, that happened a long time ago."

I look away, embarrassing moment. I decide to just go with it. If he is actually changing and against any choice, then he has a right to know something. I turn over my hands and 'will' the lights. They are a little brighter than the last time I 'willed' them. It's one thing that I can travel but this one seems like the easiest and I can't get it. His eyebrows go up when he sees my hands.

He looks up and meets my eyes asking, "What does this mean?'

I close my eyes to gather my thoughts. _How much do I tell him?_ I go with, "Well, it's kind of a family trait but only you, me and Gam-aw have it." I add, "Mom and Dad don't even know about it."

He looks at me unbelieving and asks, "Really?"

I nod.

"You can call her if you want." _Which is exactly what I intend to do_.

He sits there for a while not saying anything. I let him mull it over. It's a lot to digest and he doesn't even know the real story.

He gets up suddenly and smiles a half smile, "Thanks for the talk, I appreciate it."He heads for the door.

I call to him, "James?"

He turns.

I remind him, "Remember, mom and dad don't know and if you need to talk some more, I'm here."

He nods and leaves closing my door behind him. I immediately get on my cell and dial Gam-aw.

She answers on the second ring, "Hi Ever, how is everything?" That's a loaded question if I ever heard one.

I tell her, "When I saw Jaspen he told me he sabotaged James, to influence my decision but he must not have erased his memory fully. He came in to see me tonight. He remembers bits and pieces from before but not everything."

I continue, "His hands are lighting up and there are flecks of yellow in his eyes. Gam-aw he was totally freaked out. And I'm starting to get freaked out too."

She asks calmly, "What did you tell him?"

"I showed him my hands and told him it was a family trait that only you, me, and him have."

She asks, "Anything else showing up?"

I tell her, "Nothing yet. Why is this happening to him? I thought he wouldn't have the choice until he turns eighteen."

She agrees, "This shouldn't be happening to him but remember Ever, I told you that you would affect the balance with your choice. Maybe things are already changing."

I tell her, "Gam-aw I haven't gone back yet, nor have I made any decisions."

She agrees, "Well, either things have started to change or maybe he is an exception to the laws because of his lineage. You will need to keep an eye on him. If he changes he will have a lot of questions and you need to be the one to answer them." _Feeling even more overwhelmed now_.

"Thank you Gam-aw."

She adds, "Also Ever, if he changes. You won't be the most powerful. It will be James."

I just stare at the wall absorbing this.

The next week flies by and I let it. My classes drone on and I am happy now for the monotonous routine. Jack doesn't show to any classes all week, nor do I hear from him. I expected this but it still hurts everyday when I sit next to those empty seats.

James comes to my room a couple of times during the week to tell me about some odd things that happened at school. In the beginning of the week he asked a girl out on a date and she said yes. Which I have to say is normal boy behavior but I am guessing he influenced her a little without knowing it. The second was a little more obvious. He was mad at a teacher and wished a book would close while she was reading it and it did. I decide that if this continues I will have a real talk with him next week. Helping James will be the perfect distraction for me.

Friday rolls around and I am glad for the usual Friday night goings on. I head to The Rest Stop with Gabbi and Reggie and lose myself in the usual teenage worries of everyone around me. Who is dating who and who is having a party. I even participate with interest in all the sports talk. I am looking forward to swim season which is starting in a week. I know I have an unfair advantage. It will be my own little secret though.

By the Friday of the next week, James is truly freaked out. His eyes are completely yellow more often now than not. He is telling everyone he has contacts but I can tell he is really scared. A couple of other things happened with things moving after he thought about it. So I decide to tell him the real truth. Obviously, this is now his reality too. I take him to the park down the street on Friday night. We sit on the same bench that so long ago, I sat with Gam-aw while she told me about the sea.

I start, "James do you remember when I was gone for three days?"

He nods.

"Well, I didn't run away for the reasons everyone thinks. Back in our family history we have a lineage that goes back many years and not all of them existed on land."

He looks completely confused as I expected.

I go on, "We have lineage that goes to the sea." I let him absorb this.

He asks, "What is that supposed to mean?"

I blurt out, "I'm a mermaid."

I go on before he can say anything, "You are making the change into a merman and that is why all of these things are happening to you." Okay so my tactic isn't the best but it's out there. He looks at me like I am telling him a joke with a huge grin. I don't smile back

"Are you serious?"

I wince, "Yes, I know it's hard to process but it's completely true."

He asks the obvious, "Where is your fin, then?"

I shake my head. "I don't have one on land."

I take him over to the field by the playground and 'will' the swings to start swinging in opposite directions. He is really impressed and taking it all in, way better than I did. I explain all that I can to him. The only parts I leave out are the fact that the sea is divided and my current dilemma. I am wondering if I will be the one to affect everything now that he is changing too. I decide I need to talk to Jack and if I have to go back to see him, I will.

#

My first swim meet is Tuesday at four and I feel completely ready. Of course I am still in distraction mode but it seems to be working less and less of late. I think with the new James developments it's having the opposite effect than I wanted. My mind keeps drifting to the possibilities of everything with the addition of James. He is generally unpredictable and as I've been working with him on his 'wills', very powerful. Gamm-aw was right when she said he would be much more powerful than me. He has yet to 'will' a fin, which I think is good for now and I haven't shown him the traveling 'will'. I have a feeling; that I need to hold off on that one right now.

Tuesday comes and as I am getting out of the jeep, I spot Jack waiting for me at the entrance to the pool. I see the green in his eyes and warmth spreads through me. I don't realize how much I missed him until my heartbeats make me breathless. I walk up, unsure about where we stand, so I give him a quick hug. His hand lingers on my back and I can feel a tingle emanating from that spot. The last thing I need right now is confusion.

He looks into my eyes and says, "I was just coming to wish you good luck. Not that you need it."

I smile, "Thanks, we'll see."

"Will you stay for the meet?"

He hesitates, "Well I was..."

I grab his hand before he can finish and say, "I would really like it if you will stay."

He nods reluctantly and follows me into the pool deck. I spot my family and lead him over to sit with them. Gabbi and Reggie say hi, graciously. My parents both greet him as if they've seen him everyday for the past two weeks. James shoots me a curious questioning look. I did not share with him that Jack is a merman too but I think he just figured it out on his own. They all wish me luck and I head for the locker room.

The meet speeds by. I compete in the fifty meter and the hundred meter. I take first place in both. _Guess that's what happens when you race a mermaid._

My parents suggest we get a bite to eat together to celebrate after the meet and I invite Jack, Gabbi, and Reggie. To my surprise, they all agree to go. As we sit and start dinner I look around at everyone I hold most dear in my life and think about how my life has become so complicated. Whatever decisions I make from now on will affect everyone I love.

James approaches Jack and I after dinner outside of the restaurant after we say goodbye to Reggie and Gabbi.

He says to Jack, "So you too huh?"

I look to Jack uneasily. He looks at me unbelieving and asks, "You told him?"

I nod, "Well, I had no choice. He is changing and not by choice."

He looks alarmed at this and is about to say something when I give him a warning look. He shuts his mouth quickly and offers to James, "If you have any questions, I'll be glad to help out."

James stares for a minute, thanks him and turns to join my parents.

I ask Jack, "Can we go somewhere and talk?"

I can see the yearning in his eyes. All I want to do is wrap my arms around him and lose myself but we both hold back.

He answers, "Yes, we really need to talk now in light of James." I sadly agree, already knowing what he is going to say. I ride with him in the yellow car and we head to the park across from the school. We park and neither one of us rushes to get out of the car. His hands are still grasping the steering wheel as if for support.

He turns to me, "Ever, do you realize what this means for James?"

I relent, "Of course I know what it means. He didn't ask for this."

He asks, "Does he know about the Erebus and Lior?"

I shake my head, "No, I haven't told him yet. It was enough just telling him about changing."

He grabs my hand and raises it to his lips for a kiss. As soon as his lips touch my hand, I feel the electricity racing through my arm and into the rest of me creating such a need for him. I hold back and smile.

I try to focus, "How are things in the sea?"

He looks ahead and answers without emotion, "It's as if everyone is just waiting for something. We all know something is coming but I don't think anyone knows exactly what. They can feel it."

He continues, "I think Seamus is frightened. He has renewed all of the barriers and been out to remind everyone of the laws we are all bided to."

I shake my head at this, "But Jack, don't you see it's all wrong. You shouldn't have all of these laws deciding your life for you."

He shakes his head, as if in pain.

I continue, "The laws you believe in forbid you to be with me."

His eyes meet mine and I can see the turmoil he is wrestling with.

He answers, "This is all I've known my whole life and this is what my parents died for."

I tell him, "This is what actually, killed your parents."

He frowns at me and turns the other way. I can feel his pain and I wish so badly that I could take it away.

I relent trying to lighten the mood, "Well this whole balance thing is no longer in my hands. It now lies in the hands of a moody, unpredictable seventeen year old boy."

He looks at me so sadly, "This is nothing to make light of."

I agree with him a little more firmly than I want to be, "I am fully aware Jack, of all the implications. I am just as much a part of this as you are."

I shut my mouth, suddenly realizing that I just admitted what I was trying so hard to avoid. I didn't want this, to be a part of the sea and all the turmoil but as I say this I realize that I have to face up to my reality and do what I believe in.

I reach for the door handle to get out of the car. He reaches for my hand.

I turn and tell him, "I still love you more than anything but I have to do what I truly believe in. Just know that I believe in us, you and me more than anything else."

He nods with those cloudy green eyes, "I knew what your decision would be but I had to hear it for myself."

I ask suddenly terrified of what is coming, "What about us?"

He still has a hold of my hand and he pulls me toward him. I let him. Our lips meet and a profound sadness fills my heart. _Is this the end of us? I can't bear the thought._ Then the current rushes through me as I climb over the gear shift and sit in his lap. I savor every taste and feel of his skin. He is tender kissing every part of my face as if to commit it to memory.

Finally, I climb back to the passenger seat and we drive back to my house in silence. When he pulls up in front of the house tears cascade down my cheeks.

He grabs my hand before I can open the door and tells me, "Ever, whatever happens there will always be an- _us_. No matter which side we fall on I will always love you more than life itself. Please always know that through what is to come."

I lean in kissing him one last time, letting my lips linger while remembering this moment, knowing there won't be another in the near future.

I look into those green eyes and I tell him, "I love you."

The tears fall freely now and I turn to get out of the car. As I stand there watching him drive off, I remember the last time I stood here watching him drive away. I wish I was feeling now, what I felt then and not this finality.

#

When I stroll into my room, I jump at the figure sitting on my bed. Rushing to turn on the light I meet the very yellow eyes of my brother.

I ask him with too much anger, "What are you doing here? You scared the crap out of me.

He looks alarmed, "Have you been crying? What's the matter?"

I shake my head, "It's nothing."

I check the clock and tell him, "James it's eleven o'clock and we both have school tomorrow. What's up?"

He looks a little wiser when I really look at him. Then he tells me,"Jaspen was here tonight."

I lose my balance feeing like a ton of bricks just hit me in the chest and land next to him suddenly very numb. He goes on as if I didn't have any reaction to his admonition, "He told me all about the Lior, the Erebus and about me."

I nod at a total loss for words.

He still continues, "He told me that I have a choice to make and so do you and we will decide the fate of all those people in the sea."

As he tells me all of this it seems as though he is awed by the whole thing. Almost as if he is above it all. Then I realize he mentioned me.

I turn to him and ask, "Jaspen mentioned me?"

He nods and says, "Yes, he said you would think it is all about me now because I am a male and he mentioned that I am more powerful than you." He mentions the last part playfully which I am so not in the mood to play along.

"But actually he said you are just as important as I am."

So he told him everything but he said I am still in the equation.

I turn to James and tell him as serious as I can, "This is a huge decision. There are thousands upon thousands of lives that we will be affected with this one choice. We can't take this lightly at all, James. You've never even been there and I've only been a couple of times. These people have lived there for a very long time."

He stands up and admits, "True, I've never been there but I am ready for this. It's almost as if I've been waiting my whole life for something like this."

I stare at him. I'm not sure if he is being true or if he is full of the power that he now knows he is capable of. I hope with all of my heart that he is true, otherwise the whole sea is in trouble.

I wake up the next morning and I am still wearing the clothes from the night before. My eyes are half closed because of the crying and lack of sleep that took place after James left my room. The last place I feel like going today is school but if I don't go all I'll do is cry and mope. I end up walking in late, consumed in my own little world of turmoil that I don't notice someone is sitting in the seat next to me. The realization that someone is sitting there hits me ten minutes into class. I glance over hoping beyond hope that it's Jack but it's a new boy I've never seen before. He smiles as I glance at him. I smile uneasily back. No warmth there. I look forward the rest of class thinking about my brother and the enormous choice we will have to make. I know it's going to be soon. Jack said last night that the mer-people are getting restless and the Erebus are seen regularly swimming around the barrier. They are probably looking for a way in. They now know that they just might have a chance to win.

The rest of the day drones on uneventfully and I am glad to go home. I head straight for my bed but then I have other thoughts. I grab my suit and towel and get in the jeep to head for the lake. I need a good long swim with no one around.

Approaching the lake, I notice the weather has changed. Clouds are rolling in and a storm seems to be looming in the distance. I have to shake this depression so I decide to chance it. It is deserted as I had hoped. My heart skips a little knowing that deserted means no Jack either. _Come on Ever you have to push it all away._ I stretch a little, undress to my suit and wade in.

The water has turned colder and I feel a slight chill but my body regulates my temperature and I venture deeper. The temperature thing, I have found is another perk of being a part of the other side. Regardless of the orientation of the water my body can regulate and keep me comfortable internally. Swimming hard, I lose myself in my strokes and breathing. Repeating laps back and forth feels comfortable and normal.

After a while, without even thinking about it my fin has appeared. This scares me suddenly because it came on without any control over it. I start to panic and try to 'will' legs again. It doesn't seem to work. I swim towards the bank hoping to touch land and make it easier to 'will' my legs. After about fifteen minutes I find this is not the case. _Oh great, what should I do now?_ I'm stuck in a lake with my fin. Truly feeling alone now and it starts to rain. _Just great._

I see out of the corner of my eye, a car pull up on the other side of the jeep. I dive back towards the middle and submerge myself. That is all I need are rumors of mermaids starting about my favorite lake. Then I'll never be able to swim here again. I decide to surface a tiny bit after about ten minutes. I look toward the jeep and spot my mom's car. _Oh, even better. Someone from my family is here._ A splash on the other side startles me. I spin around in the direction of the splash to find James swimming towards me. He has a wide grin on his face. I swim over to him.

He calls out, "So how does it work?"

I glare at him, "What?" Even though I already know what he's talking about.

He insists, "You know, the fin."

I decide to put him in his place. "Oh you mean this?"

I lift my fin and splash him with a giant wave. When I stop splashing him his mouth is hanging open and he looks almost afraid.

I ask tauntingly, "Are you sure you want this now?"

He regains his composure and shrugs, "Yeah, I um didn't think it would look so...big."

I push him. Then he says with a wide grin, "Wow, that is really cool."

I roll my eyes. Only James would not see the enormity of this.

I tell him, "You just 'will' it. Think about a fin instead of your legs."

He concentrates and keeps looking under the water.

I explain, "You need to keep trying. It takes a couple of tries sometimes."

Suddenly, I see him dive out of the water and there it is; a shimmery fin just like mine.

We spend hours swimming and exploring the lake while the rain comes down harder. Talk about boy discovery. James must explore every nook and cranny from one side of the lake to the other. He gets a huge kick out of his lighted hands under the water. I have to admit it is kind of neat being able to see so clearly in such muggy water. I'm glad James came to the lake today. We finally have something in common. I can see him maturing right before my eyes. He has helped me today appreciate my new identity. I am no longer Ever, eighteen year old, heading to college and beyond. I am now, Ever, eighteen year old, life to come unknown. I guess maybe this new me has more possibilities.

#

The next morning I wake from another dream. This was a very different one from the previous ones. I was swimming fast as if someone was chasing me. I glanced back to see a fin but I couldn't focus on the face following me.

I'm beginning to tire of these energy depleting dreams. I always wake up tired. I head to the kitchen for water. Maybe I should just keep a gallon next to my bed so I don't have to get up.

Today is school again, unfortunately. I go through my usual routine to get ready and end up having an extra few minutes before having to leave. I check my email. Probably just a lot of junk mail but I haven't been on the computer in a while. As I scroll through the junk messages there is one that catches my eye. The subject line says, _meet me at the lake today._

I check the date, today, 5:00 am. My breath catches because I know it must be from Jack and this must mean he is on land and not in the sea right now. I click on the message but there is nothing inside just the subject line. I reason that if that's the case, maybe he'll be at school.

I hurry to gather my things and rush out the door. Pulling in I scan the lot for the color yellow. I don't see it but maybe he'll be late. I stand a little taller with hope. As I sit down I notice the new boy in Jack's seat again. He smiles at me and I glare. He better hope Jack isn't coming because he'll have to find a new seat. I smirk at that thought.

Suddenly, I feel a tap on my shoulder.

I turn toward the tap and the boy next to me asks, "Um, excuse me I was just wondering if you could help me out a little in this class? It seems I have missed a lot and I need to get caught up."

I stare at the door willing Jack to show up but he doesn't and the bell rings.

The boy next to me looks at me expectantly so I tell him, "Sorry I have something to do after school."

He nods, "I understand. What about during your study hall time?" _Who does this guy think he is?_

I answer, "It's fourth period."

He smiles, "That is the same as mine. Do you mind if I join you in the library?"

I shrug my shoulders I've suddenly run out of energy.

The day drones on and I walk into the library during fourth period to study for my upcoming exams. As I am spreading my books out a chill runs down my back as if someone is staring at me. I look up and notice the new boy from history class standing there. Great, I forgot about him. He is the opposite of Jack. He has long blond hair and it looks like green eyes. He is built differently as well, more compact and stronger looking. Totally, not Jack.

He asks in a deep voice, "Can I sit down?"

I hold my hand up offering the chair across from me. He sits down and starts to open his book.

"By the way, I'm Alex."

I respond under my breath, "Ever."

He asks about some assignments and I absentmindedly answer.

After a while he asks, "You seem a little preoccupied. Do you want to do this another time?"

I shake my head apologizing, "Sorry. I do have a lot on my mind. Do you have any more questions? I have to go meet a friend."

He nods and ascents, "No more questions. Go and meet your friend."

He smiles, "If I have any more questions, I know where to find you during fourth period."

I get up and give him the best smile I can muster for my state of mind. I pull out my cell and turn to walk out of the library. If Jack is on land I may be able to get ahold of him. I dial but it just rings. His voice mail doesn't even pick up so I can't leave a message. This is so depressing. I vow to make it to the lake today. The message had to be from him. He will probably be there waiting for me.

I hop in the jeep and decide not to stop at home after school. I usually keep a spare suit, towel and goggles in the jeep. I blast my music trying to convince myself that there is a slight possibility the email wasn't from Jack. I brace myself for more disappointment, just in case.

As I pull up and park in the slightly browned grasses, I notice the lake has changed tremendously in the past month. There is a slight hint that spring is on its way. The sparse amount of trees surrounding the lake, have specks of green popping out all over. I can see hints in the birds as well. Lately I've seen a bigger population of ducks swimming around the lake signaling spring fever.

I climb out of the jeep and hesitate wondering whether I should change and swim or look around for Jack. I decide to stick with my normal routine. This will help with any disappointments to come. At least I will be able to swim my frustrations away.

The lake is deserted again. Not exactly as I had hoped. I walk around to the other side to find no one. Maybe he is just running late. I wade in ready to put in a good work out. I swim for about an hour and crawl up the bank to think. I'm guessing maybe he isn't going to show. Who could blame him though? I pretty much told him I was going to fight against everything he believes in.

Tears well as this realization hits me. If I do this it may change everything that we are. He may resent me and never speak to me again.

Suddenly, I notice a boat drifting towards me. I didn't see anyone put the boat into the lake. There is a ramp in the corner of the lake and I can see it from where I am. As I glance over I notice there aren't any cars parked near. I get up suddenly feeling uneasy.

As the boat drifts closer a man with a full white beard and one of those old fishing hats loaded with hooks and lures comes into view. When the boat is about ten feet away and still coming, I decide it's time to leave so I turn and walk out of the grasses. Then I hear my name. I turn to look around. The thought that maybe Jack did come after all crosses my mind.

But realization hits when the man in the boat calls out, "Ever, don't go just yet. I need to talk to you."

I stand there and stare as he comes closer. When he is almost to the bank, I notice that he has the bluest eyes I have ever seen. Bluer even, than Jacks on his happiest day. He is slightly chubby with his fishing shirt tucked haphazardly into multi-pocketed pants. I look at him curiously.

He stretches his hand out as the boat hits the bank and asks in a deep gravely voice, "Can you lend me a hand? I'm certainly not as young as I used to be."

I grab his hand and let him lean on me as he climbs out of the boat. I don't know why but I am completely at ease. This man seems to pose no threat to me. I actually feel more relaxed than I have since arriving at the lake, which is weird.

He tells me once we are walking up the bank, "Let's go sit at the picnic table. I need to rest."

I glance around and spot a wooden picnic table past the tall grasses in a field ten feet away. I have been coming to the lake since I started driving two years ago and there has never been a picnic table here before. I glance back at this man and suddenly I realize who this is. It makes sense now.

We sit down and I don't even give him a chance.

"You must be Seamus."

He smiles easily and nods.

I start, as my anger begins to well up, "Do you realize what you are putting your people through? It isn't right to limit people's freedoms." I end with, "You should be ashamed of yourself."

He laughs, "You are a feisty one aren't you? I guess it runs in our family."

I am disgusted at this point. I have let all of my hate for this man build up. I don't even know if being civilized at this point is an option.

I start, "YOU..."

But he cuts me off. "Ever, I think it only fair that you hear me out as well. You heard Jaspen's argument. Now it is only right to hear mine."

I close my mouth quickly.

He continues, "I am guessing you have already made a decision based on your contempt for me. These things never come easily. This is a huge decision not to be taken lightly."

I respond angrily, "I haven't taken anything lightly. How is it right to have people fight and die for you when you take away their freedoms?"

He nods, "I know this is all so new for you and it all happened so quickly. You just made a big decision just to become a part of the sea. Now you have to decide something else entirely."

He makes these statements as if musing to himself. I barely feel like he is speaking directly to me. I cross my arms and decide to just sit there and let him ramble on.

He continues this time focusing on my stare.

"You are a very important part of everything we are in the sea. Your power can help or harm. I am only here to tell you the other side."

I nod with a frown.

He continues, "A long time ago I made a selfish choice for love. First to come to the sea to be with someone I wasn't born to be with. Then my second mistake was to claim that world as my own. We as humans on land were never meant to be a part of the sea."

He looks down at his hands and takes a deep breath. "The best thing for the mer-people is to keep them away from humans on land. If I had never met Matea the people would still be one and peaceful."

I shake my head, "I don't believe that Seamus. It would have been someone else. Things can't always stay the same."

He smiles, "Ah, you are clever."

I start to get up realizing that he is just feeding me words that he thinks I want to hear.

He grabs my hand and asks, "Please sit and hear me out."

I hesitate and decide to sit a little while longer.

He continues, "My whole purpose is to protect the people that I love from any more mistakes. Unfortunately, that involves laws to keep them safe from any harms they don't know about. I fear for anyone else making the same mistake I did."

His eyes bore into me. I realize he is pretty much summing up what I just did. I repeated his two mistakes as he calls them, one to choose for love and two to call these people my own.

He asks me, "Please consider what the sea would be like if everyone was able to walk the land and swim the sea. We are a mysterious existence. If land and sea were free to each other then our world would cease to be safe."

I ask angrily, "Is that all? I really have someplace I need to be."

I start to get up.

He stops me one last time with his hand on mine.

"Ever, please don't take this lightly."

His next words hit my heart.

"When you choose a side, remember how this has turned your life inside out. Imagine how many others would be going through the same identity crisis if everyone were free to choose."

As he gets up he says at last, "Goodbye my great granddaughter. I hope you make all considerations."

Then he is gone. A minute later the boat and picnic table disappear. Wow, he must be some powerful merman.

My heart hurts at this point, aching for Jack and for the people that will be caught in the crossfire of these two sides. Neither side is going to come out of this unscathed. I am so much more confused now. I decide to go home and veg out. That is the human thing to do after all. This is something I am going to turn my back on, at least for today. I blast the music and actually sing all the way home. This is a never for me. I have no musicality at all so I must really not want to face this.

#

When I get home after my meeting with Seamus I am completely depressed. It is worse than when Michael broke up with me. At least when he called it quits I knew life would change a little but I would still go to school, breathe air and be a normal teenager. Now I just can't even function knowing that I have such an impact on a race of people. No wonder Jack doesn't want anything to do with me anymore; I wouldn't either.

The rest of the week slides by. I feel as if I'm in a bubble and I can't feel anything. I can tell Gabbi is really concerned but I don't care. I go through the motions each day but I can't really function beyond that. The new boy, Alex I guess is his name, tries to talk to me each day but I blow him off. I think by Friday he has finally gotten the hint and he doesn't even greet me. I haven't been back to the lake or the pool since the Seamus incident. Why should I care at this point?

By the time Saturday rolls around Gabbi has about had it with my attitude and shows up at my house around eight. I am already in my pajamas planning to call it a night. I answer the door surprised to find her there. This time it's my turn to check my cell phone.

She shakes her head, "No Ever, I didn't call first. I knew you would blow me off. It's time for an intervention."

I frown, "A what?"

She walks in and I follow her into the kitchen. "You have been distant, non-responsive, and moody for the better part of this school year."

I open my mouth to protest but she puts her hand up as if to halt what I have to say.

She continues, "I am no longer going to sit by idly and watch you sink into depression. I miss my best friend and I'll be damned if I'm going to let any boy do this to you."

I wince, "Gabbi it's really not Jack's fault..."

She interrupts, "Actually I don't care whose fault it is. You have been so evasive every time I try to talk to you. So from now on I refuse to take a lame excuse from you."

I smile, more inwardly than for her to see. I love my Gabbi. She grabs my hand and leads me to the stairs and turns before taking the first step, "We are going to go and make you look ravishing. Then we are going to Jamie's party tonight."

I back up shaking my head. "Um, no parties. I don't think I can socialize. Actually, I was about to go to bed"

She cuts me off again, "Ever, I am not taking excuses. Remember I said that during my well - rehearsed speech. So yes, you are going and yes, you are going to have a good time."

I follow her reluctantly up the stairs to my bedroom. She invades my closet as I collapse onto my bed. I suddenly don't feel so well.

Gabbi chooses a navy blue mini-dress that still has the tags on it. I think back to that purchase. It was my mom's attempt to get me out of jeans and make me look like a girl again. She planned a whole day around shopping right before the school year started. I think she thought this year was going to be different since I was going to be a senior and have the run of the school. Obviously she failed miserably.

I wince as Gabbi turns, "Ever, this adorable dress still has the tags on it. What exactly are you waiting for?"

I shrug because truthfully dresses don't do it for me. I prefer my own drab style of jeans. I know Gabbi is in full force tonight and I decide not to exert the energy protesting. I know I won't win.

She goes all out curling my hair and choosing as she puts it, the perfect accessories; earrings and some silver bracelets to line my arms. I brave some pretty high wedges too. She swears they won't hurt my feet. I reluctantly turn and stand in front of the mirror when she smiles and tells me her masterpiece is done.

I look up and meet my own depressive green eyes. I have to admit, she pulled off a great feat because I definitely don't feel the way I look. I actually look hot.

I turn to her and give the best smile I can manage.

"Thanks so much Gabs."

She smiles as she hugs me and asks, "Are we ready for some fun or what?"

I follow her out and let my mom know I am going out with Gabbi. My mom looks surprised. I think she was starting to worry a little about my sudden change in routine. Gabbi insists on driving so again, I am at her mercy.

I ask her, "Why is Jamie having a party? I didn't hear anything about it."

She frowns and tells me, "Actually Jamie tried to tell you about it but she said you ignored her when she was trying to talk to you."

I wince trying to remember the last time Jamie and I talked. I can't remember. We don't have any classes together this year so we've sort of drifted apart. Last year it was more the three of us than just Gabbi and I. When I wasn't with Michael it was always Gabbi and Jamie. This year though, Michael and I broke up and Jamie started dating Blake. I know nothing about him except that he seems like a good guy and Jamie is just as occupied as I always was last year.

Gabbi pulls me out of my reverie, "Anyway don't worry. Jamie didn't take it personally, especially after I told her you were still going through boy stuff."

I nod feeling bad about blowing her off.

Gabbi adds, "Anyway she is having the party kind of as an early celebration."

"What are we celebrating?"

Gabbi looks wide eyed at me, "Have you been living under a rock or something? She got into Harvard."

I look at her incredulously. How could I not know this?

I ask, "When did she find out?" It's only March after all.

Gabbi replies, "She got the letter last week and decided a party would be fun for everyone to celebrate."

I think I'm now sinking deeper. _College, that's a reality I don't think I will get to realize now._

She stops the car and calls, "We're here."

I glance out the window. Jamie's house is in the same neighborhood as Julia's. I've spent a lot of time here over the years. Unlike Julia though Jamie is one of four and she is very well grounded. I think that's why we get along so well. Her house is similar to Julia's, big and sprawling.

I feel knots in my stomach.

Gabbi looks at me and asks, "Are you ready?"

People are entering through the door and the street is lined with cars. Oh great, there will be lots of people in there. I remember the last party I went to at Julia's house. Jack saved me from a very embarrassing moment. I know he won't be here tonight. I'm on my own. I take a deep breath and get out at the same time as Gabbi.

She hooks her arm in mine all the way up the walk. I stop suddenly and pull her back.

I ask, "Wait, where is Reggie tonight?"

She laughs, "I told him I needed some girl time. He's meeting us here."

"Oh."

She pulls on me, "Come on Ever. Stop fighting me. You are destined for fun tonight."

I smirk. _Here goes._

Jamie answers the door and I can tell she is genuinely happy to see us. Gabbi relinquishes her keys and we follow Jamie through to the backyard. The hallway and kitchen are exactly as I remember them. Pictures through the years of Jamie, her sister and brothers, line the hallways. The kitchen is expansive with beautiful marble counters and hardwood floors. The cabinets stretch to the ceiling. I remember coming for a visit in fifth grade and thinking how in the world anyone could get anything off the top shelf in those cabinets. Jamie just laughed at me.

As we step off the step into the backyard I can see that half the school is here. The knots keep coming. Gabbi lets me go and walks away for a minute. I feel a hand under my elbow so I turn toward it and find myself face to face with Michael.

He leans over to my ear and tells me, "Ever, you look great tonight.

I can smell beer on his breath.

I half smile uncomfortably and tell him, "Thank you."

He lets go of my elbow and spots a friend across the yard prompting him to walk away.

Right now I am so numb. _Maybe I can do this._

Gabbi steps up to me and hands me a cup with very little liquid in it. I look at her questioningly.

She tells me, "It's a shot, liquid courage, drink it, you need to loosen up."

I clink cups with her and we down it together.

I hand her the cup and tell her,"Hey that was good. Let's do another."

She raises her eyebrows. I assure her, "Seriously, I can do another."

She turns to get more. I stand there with my arms crossed alone and uncomfortable again. As I scan the patio I notice most of the people from our little group. I spot Reggie as he approaches Gabbi at the table with all of the drinks. She looks so happy to see him. I am so glad that she finally found someone that she can love. This brings me to think of Jack and I scan the crowd with a tiny bit of hope. He's not here but I already knew he wouldn't be.

Gabbi crosses the room and hands me my second shot. Reggie joins in this time.

We clink and I toast, "To Gabbi, the best."

She tells me, "I need to find a bathroom. Will you be alright?"

I nod to assure her. She and Reggie turn in the other direction. I decide I need more to drink. I like this warmth spreading through me caused by the shots. It reminds me of Jack and the warmth I feel when he's near. I run into Sasha at the keg and we talk for a while. She asks about Jack every time I see her. I wish she wouldn't do that.

A couple of hours pass and I find myself on a couch talking to Jason Varner from my huge blow off and the incident at Julia's party. I reason, why not? He obviously likes me and maybe I just need someone, different. He keeps filling my cup for me and I am thankful that I don't have to get up.

As he scoots closer to me his hand rests on my leg but I can't get a clear thought to tell him to move it. The warmth emanating from it feels like the warmth I am craving.

He leans over near my ear, "Do you know how sexy you look tonight?"

I shake my head out of annoyance.

His hand moves up my leg and he tells me, "You are such a tease."

Then he plants his dry lips over mine. I realize what is happening and I try to push him away but he's so heavy leaning against me with all of his weight. I suddenly feel like I can't breathe. Then I hear a voice that I think I recognize but I can't quite place.

I gasp towards it and I hear it again, louder this time, "Hey, Ever is that you?"

The voice, I think I recognize from one of my classes. I can't remember which one, the class or the boy.

Then he says to Jason, "Hey friend, I think Ever needs some fresh air."

Jason backs away and looks from me toward the voice. I look down and push his hand off of my thigh.

"Well, I'm not your friend and Ever is fine. Get lost."

He attempts to put his arm around me but I shrug it off. I sloppily push myself up off the couch.

I stumble in the direction of the voice, "Um, actually fresh air would be nice."

I trip on these damn shoes Gabbi made me wear but he catches me. He rights me and grabs my hand. I follow, what's his name again? He leads us to the backyard. I rack my brain because I know I've seen him before but...

Once we are outside he turns and tells me, "I hope I wasn't overstepping or anything. You didn't look comfortable with the situation."

I shake my head, "Alex!" I exclaim.

He smiles easily, "Yes, that's me."

I tell him, "Oh yeah, um thank you for that."

He asks, "So are you here by yourself?"

I shake my head trying to remember how I got to the party. I run my hand through my hair trying to recall how I got to the couch with Jason. Oh yeah, Gabbi.

I tell him, "My friend Gabbi brought me. She,she should be around here somewhere."

"I can stay with you until you find her."

I shake my head about to tell him no but then I spot Jason coming out the door onto the patio. He looks furious.

On second thought I nod and say, "Thank you, I think she might be in the house. I don't see her out here."

He leads me through the house and we finally find Gabbi in the kitchen deep in conversation with Reggie and Jamie. She glances at me then at Alex.

She has a concerned look on her face and she rushes to meet us, "Hey Ever, I was looking for you a little while ago. Where have you been?"

I shrug and glance at Alex.

He tells her, "I think she needs to go home."

Gabbi nods her head and agrees. She turns to Reggie to tell him we are leaving.

Then she looks at Alex and tells him, "Thanks for finding her."

I feel like I'm in a bubble, exactly where I want to be right now. Their voices seem muffled and I think 'why are they talking about me like I'm a child or something?' The next thing I know Gabbi is holding my hand pulling me through the crowd toward the front of the house.

When she gets me in the car I ask her, "You know what my secret is?"

She absentmindedly responds, "What secret?"

I admit with slurred speech, "Well I have a secret and it's that I'm a mermaid and there is a whole world under the sea."

She nods her head and tells me, "Okay Ever. Whatever you say."

I put my hand on her arm and make her glance my way, "Actually, I am telling the truth. Jack isn't here because he lives there and I have to make a huge decision that will decide the fate of all those people and I'm so...."

I trail off.

My eyelids start to close.

I wake as the sun shines through the blinds in my window. Ugh, who turned the light on? My head is pounding. I try to remember the night before. I can remember bits and pieces. I remember Alex's face for some reason and I remember Jason. Oh no, Jason. It's starting to come back to me now. Can I just go and bury myself under a rock? It's going to be all over school. I crawl out of bed and head for the bathroom. I desperately need some aspirin.

As I crawl back into bed my phone rings

I check to see that it's Gabbi, "Hello."

I glance at the clock, eleven o'clock. "Hey you, are you up yet?"

I answer, "I just got up. Holy headache."

She giggles, "Yeah, you were pretty over the top last night."

"Did I do anything stupid that I might not be remembering at this moment?"

She admits, "Well, I wasn't exactly with you the whole time."

I whine, "I know. I think I might have done something um regretful with Jason

She laughs, "Oh no Ever, of all the eligible guys, you pick him."

"I know, what was I thinking?"

She brushes it off, "You probably made his night. He's been trying to get a date with you all year."

"Yeah, I'm not sure how bad it was but I remember the new guy from my class, Alex. He kind of rescued me."

She ascends, "Oh, is that who that cutie is?"

I never really thought of him that way. He's just the new guy in my history class.

Gabbi gets serious, "Ever, you were also rambling on about mermaids and other stuff. I thought you were just drunk but I thought I would mention it."

I am silent for a while.

"Ever, are you still there?"

I take a deep breath, "Actually Gabbi. I think we need to talk."

She tells me she will come over after lunch. I'm not sure telling Gabbi about my situation is a good idea but I am tired of bearing the whole burden. I need my friend who I have trusted my whole life to help me with this huge decision.

#

As I climb down the stairs, I hear my mom's voice on the phone, "No have you seen him? He didn't come home last night."

Silence.

Then she says with a worried tone, "Well, if you see him please tell him we are looking for him."

More silence. I am guessing James is gone. This is bad, very bad because I know where he is. I have a bad feeling that it's all starting and I'm not ready.

I go to the fridge as if I didn't just hear my mom on the phone. She hangs up as I am getting some juice.

She turns to me and asks in an unsteady voice, "Ever, have you seen James? He didn't come home last night."

I know I have to tread carefully.

I tell her nonchalantly, "No mom, I didn't actually see him yesterday at all. He's probably at one of his friend's houses."

She shakes her head, "No I've called all of them. No one has seen him since yesterday afternoon."

I sit down at the table and my head is pounding.

She tells me, "I think we may need to call the police. "

I suggest, "Well mom, you know James. He'll probably come strolling through the door any minute."

She doesn't even look like she heard me. She walks out and I'm left alone. What to do now? I'm guessing this means I need to go back now. I really need to talk to Gabbi first before I leave. I decide to wait a little while. I'm definitely not worried about James; he's probably one of the more dangerous specimens in the sea right now.

Gabbi pulls up to my house around four. I hop in her car before she can even get out. The last place she needs to be is in my house with my freaked out mom. I tell her to drive to the park down the street.

She looks at me with a very worried expression and asks, "I'm not going to like what you want to talk about, am I?"

I shake my head and look down. No words are necessary.

We end up in the same spot where months ago my Gam-aw told me her story and I told James.

Gabbi jokes, "So you were really drunk last night and some of the stuff you were saying was..."

I glance at her without a smile while I slowly say, "Actually Gabbi what I told you is really the truth."

I continue before she can respond, "A long story short, there is a whole world of people under the sea. They are mer-people and I am related to them from a long time ago, way back in my family tree."

She looks at me unbelieving.

I hurry with the rest, "Jack is from there and he has been helping me. The night of my eighteenth birthday I decided I wanted to be a part of that world. Now everything is just a mess."

She stops me, "No Ever, this is unbelievable stuff. Are you still drunk or did you take something?"

I smirk and point, "Gabbi, watch those swings on the swing set over there."

She turns and I make them all twist together. Her mouth gapes open and she looks from me back to the swings. I unwind them and wind them the other way.

She asks, "Are you doing that?"

I nod.

She asks, "How?"

I tell her, "I told you last night that I'm a mermaid."

I let her digest everything. I need her to be clearheaded to hear the rest.

After she asks me about small details and she seems satisfied.

I tell her the rest, "Gabbi, I am kind of in a situation with this whole thing now. Basically there is a feud going on and both sides want me to fight for them. I'm kind of um, powerful."

She nods like she is following me but I can tell her eyes have clouded over. I've given her too much.

I rush to explain the rest anyway, "I don't know what to do. Jack is on the side that I am pretty much against. I don't know if I should just take the side with him regardless of my feelings because I love him."

She seems to snap out of whatever trance she was in and asks unbelievingly, "You really love him, even after he changed your life like this?"

I shake my head, "Well he didn't exactly do this. It was coming regardless of whether he was here or not. Meeting him just helped me make the decision. And yes, I love him so much." I add quietly, "And I miss him."

I suddenly feel as if I'm not getting enough oxygen thinking about Jack.

She smiles, "Oh so that's what has been up with you. Now I get it."

I look at her surprised, "Really? Cause you are taking this way better than I thought you would."

Maybe she is just in shock and it will hit her later.

She gets up and faces me, "Girl, I understand love and that is the whole point, right?

I smirk, although Gabbi is in her first big relationship, she is a fiend to teen romance, a true bookworm. She considers herself the ultimate authority on romance.

I ask, "What do you mean?" before resting my face in my hands. I think my headache is coming back.

She crouches down to look at me, "Ever, you always overanalyze everything. If Jack is your reason then fight for Jack."

I meet her gaze and I see it as clear as she did from the moment I explained everything.

I get a notion of doubt and I protest, "But what about those people and right and wrong?"

She shakes her head and tells me, "You said yourself; that this has been going on for a while. Long before you were even in the picture, right?"

I nod.

"Well then, what you choose may make a difference a little or maybe it won't. But will you Ever, be happy without Jack?"

I shake my head. The realization hits me. I think that was all I needed to hear. She made it so simple. I know I said this before but I love my Gabbi. I jump up with a clear head finally and give her a huge hug.

I whisper into her shoulder, "Thank you."

She nods at me, "That's why we're us."

I can tell she has started crying.

I push her to arm's length and ask, "What's wrong?"

She sniffles, "Does this mean I will never see you again?"

I look down, "Gabbi I truly don't know. According to what I was told before, I shouldn't be able to be here now after I made my choice but here I am. I really don't know how it all works."

I reassure her, "Cheer up. This is absolutely not good-bye if I have anything to do with it."

She smiles and wipes her eyes.

She drops me back at my house. I promise to keep in touch and let her know what is happening. She promises to claim ignorant if questions of my whereabouts come up. I realize later that I didn't tell her about James. But I reason, probably the less she knows, the better.

When I walk into my house it is silent and I notice a note from my parents. They wrote that they would be at the police station if I need them. Oh boy, pretty soon they will be double devastated but I can't think of a way to avoid it. I run up to my room and check my email one last time. I check James' room just to make sure he isn't here after all. All of his things seem accounted for. He is definitely in the sea. I rush back down to the kitchen and scribble a note to my parents. This might appease them for a little while.

Mom and Dad,

I went to Gam-aw's house.

Need to talk to her about college next year.

I Love you!

Ever

#

After writing my cryptic note I dial Gam-aw.

She answers on the first ring, "Oh Ever, your mom called. Is James where I think he is?"

"I'm pretty sure he went to the sea. He has control of his wills and Jaspen came to see him a few days ago."

The other end of the line is silent. I call out, "Gam-aw are you still there?"

She answers, "Yes sweetheart. I was just thinking about how if I would have made different choices, you two would never be in this position. This is all my fault."

I shake my head and argue, "No Gam-aw, this is not your fault. I think it's time for me to go and find James though."

She agrees, "Yes, before he makes any hasty decisions."

"I left a note for mom and dad telling them that I went to your house to talk about college. I was very vague. Will you cover for me if they call you?"

I can hear sadness in her voice, "Yes honey, I think it's the least I can do. Good luck my sweet girl."

"Thank you Gam-aw, I love you."

We hang up. At this point I think I need all the luck I can get. I change into a bikini and shorts. I close my eyes and focus on the beach where Jack told me about my life not so long ago. It's amazing how things can change so fast. The beach is rapidly becoming my anchor to him. When I open my eyes I am standing on the warmed sand. It is deserted as far as I can see. The sun is setting in the distance over the ocean. I linger for a minute savoring the sight which is one of the most beautiful things that I have ever seen. It renews my spirit a little. I have to follow through with this. No more waiting for things to happen to me.

I jog up to the parking lot and check for my mom's car. I spot it in the furthest space. So James doesn't know about traveling yet. This is a good thing. Then I glance around and the only other car in the lot is on the opposite end, the yellow car that I have grown accustomed to looking for. My heart flutters at the sight. James is my first priority but then I have to tell Jack about my decision. Sides don't really matter as long as we are together. I'm excited now that I've made this decision. I can't wait to see him.

I strip down to my suit and wade in. The water is on the chilly side but I am instantly comfortable. I could travel to the Erebus caves but I don't know where I will actually end up. I decide to swim instead. I swim out a quarter of a mile and 'will' my fin. It comes right away this time. I'm getting more acclimated to my new other self.

It takes a while to get there but I finally spot the cave structures about a half mile away. They are actually very beautiful from this distance. They are so natural, as if a huge mountain grew from the belly of the Earth. The various cave entrances look bleak and foreboding. I think that is Jaspen's full intention. As I approach the caves, I notice a few Erebus scattered by some of the entrances but no one takes notice of me. I really don't have a plan at this point and this could all end up terribly bad but I have to find James.

As I round the corner of one of the caves I spot an entrance with transparent looking doors which are not so bleak here. I try the handle and push, it opens inwardly. I am faced with a sight that is truly comparable to the setting sun that I just witnessed on the beach. The ceiling of the cave, if you can even call it that, reaches fifty feet into the ocean. It has the same transparent material used on the doors. I can see the water and sea life glide past. It is mesmerizing. The walls reaching the ceiling are like nothing I have ever seen. They look as if they are covered with sea serpents reaching for the ceiling but frozen in place. The greens and blues are so vibrant making the serpents seem as though they are stretching and swirling together. I am truly taken. As I admire this immense room, I suddenly see movement to my right down a narrow hall. I start swimming toward the hall and the serpents on the walls seem to be moving with me in the same direction. I reach out to touch them and find that they are made of stone as I had originally thought, _amazing_. I see the movement again and it disappears into a room to the left down the hallway. I approach the opening and peer in. My heart skips a beat.

I hear James' voice, "Well I guess if we tried that it might work but can't we just steal one of the guides and make them let us in?"

I quickly back out.

The other voice replies, "You see James, it's a little more...complicated... than just taking another mer-person and forcing them to our will. First of all, the guides are all in the city. They have been forbidden from leaving. Additionally, if we did catch one that isn't something we can 'will' them to do. It's beyond our abilities. Actually, there are some of us already in the city ready to attack. We were able to acquire a guide's assistance before they were secured to the city."

I recognize the other voice, Jaspen. What to do now? Show myself or try to get into the city myself. If I show myself they might think I am here to fight for the Erebus. If I go to the city surely there will be implications with that too.

I decide to leave and find Jack if possible. I know where James is now. I know the Erebus won't let anything happen to him. I glide back out as quietly as I can. When I reach the open water a quarter of a mile from the caves I stop and tread water. Either I will be able to get in through the barrier with a 'will' or I will have to come back and reveal myself to Jaspen. It feels good to finally have a plan.

I decide traveling is as good a way in as any. I close my eyes and focus, thinking about Amber's dwelling and the blue room. I open my eyes and I am still treading water in the same spot. _Nuts!_

I take a deep sea breath and tell myself to relax. I try again closing my eyes trying to think about the green iridescence of Amber's dwelling. Suddenly I feel something beneath my fin. I open my eyes and I am in the blue room sitting on the bed. The room is under water and the exact same as I remember from the last time I was here.

The door is closed and I hear muffled voices beyond it. My heart leaps in anticipation that one of them might be Jack. I rush to the door and glance down the hall. I see Amber treading in the big room. My movement catches her eye so she turns her head in my direction. I see absolute shock and fear on her face for just a second.

She quickly turns toward whoever she is talking to and speaks, "As I was telling you, I don't have any idea why he chose this. When you came to tell me today, it was the first time I knew about it."

I see movement in front of Amber and a male voice says, "Amber Tanner, we will be watching you closely given the recent developments with your brother."

He adds, "There will be dire consequences if we find that you are keeping the same company."

I watch her nod and she glances at me with scared eyes. I get her hint and duck back into the blue room to wait. I start to worry. He implied something about Jack. So obviously he isn't here like I had hoped.

Suddenly the door swings open and I push up from the bed startled. Amber is treading there with the most miserable green eyes. She looks down at the floor then meets my eyes.

I ask her, "What is it Amber? Where is Jack?"

She grabs my hand and swims pulling me towards the front room.

She sits looking downward and says, "Jack, Jack, he did something very bad."

I rush to her and take her hands in mine, "Is he alright? What did he do?"

She looks up and meets my eyes; All I see is cloudy green. I just want out shake it out of her. I feel like my heart will beat right out of my chest.

She shakes her head saying as if more to herself, "How could this have happened? How could he do this to me, to our parents?" Then she looks up," to you?"

I plead, "What Amber? Tell me."

"Ever, he has sided with Jaspen."

I swim back from her and stare unbelieving.

Finally I ask, "Did he do this for me? Because he thought I would side with Jaspen?"

I'm beginning to feel a tremendous weight descend upon me.

She shakes her head and says softly, "No."

I wait and she doesn't say anything else.

I question her, "No, then why?' My voice is strangled.

She looks up again and tells me with disbelief, "He's been sided with Jaspen all along."

I shake my head, "But you told me the story about your parents and he, he left when he found out that I had spoken to Jaspen. He seemed so hurt when I defended the Erebus."

I'm replaying all of my time with Jack now. _Was it all a lie? Was he really just trying to get me here to do Jaspen's bidding?_ I am so confused and suddenly I have no energy. I plop down in the other chair across from Amber. I think I'm going to lose it.

Amber looks over and tells me softly, "We have to go to Seamus."

A minute passes before she says it louder with more authority, "We have to go to Seamus."

She gets up with a rush and tries to grab my hand. I pull it back and look at her with horror.

"I can't go to Seamus right now."

She argues, "We have to. He has to know you are here."

She continues looking off as if in a trance, "If I bring you to Seamus then they will know I am not siding with, Jack."

She chokes out his name. This can't be happening.

I look at her horrified, "You can't just turn me in. They will think I am here for the Lior."

Then I realize, "Amber, I haven't chosen yet. I was coming to talk to Jack. James is with Jaspen right now."

She shakes her head, "This is bad Ever. Don't you see? If you go to Jaspen our city will be annihilated."

I look at her disbelieving.

She continues, "All life as we know it will be no more."

I ask, "Did you know about this? Did you know everything with Jack was a lie?"

She shakes her head vigorously and I can hear her voice catch as if she is crying, "No Ever, I promise you. I had no idea."

We sit in silence for what seems like an hour. I replay everything Jack has ever said to me about the Lior and Erebus. I realize he never really committed to one side or the other in our conversations. I just assumed. _What a fool I am_. _Ever, you've really done it this time_.

Then I realize something else and ask, "Do you think Jack being taken from the lake by the Erebus was planned?"

She looks at me clueless and shrugs her shoulders.

Then I ask with more energy, "What about when they took you? Did they say anything to you about me or James or Jack?"

She thinks for a minute and shakes her head.

Then she tells me, "Maybe that was just for you to meet Jaspen."

"But he came to my house to meet James. Why didn't he just show up in _my_ bedroom?"

She shrugs and adds, "Maybe he wanted to see what you could do with your 'wills' and such. They wanted to find out about your abilities."

"Maybe that is also the reason why they took Jack. To see if I would come and find him."

She nods.

I get up and she glances at me curiously.

I tell her, "I need to be alone. I need some."

I look toward the hall and finish, "We'll make a decision after I think."

I look into her cloudy eyes and ask reassuringly, "Okay?"

She nods and looks the other way as I swim toward the blue bed calling my name.

Suddenly I am falling down, down, down, through the sea. There is less light as I fall farther away. I try to grasp for the light or the sky beyond, but it's out of my reach. Darkness is consuming me. Everything is almost black. Suddenly I feel as if someone or something has caught me. I glance over and see beautiful green eyes but they aren't Jack's.

I wake with a start and sit straight up. Glancing around I remember where I am and that I must have drifted off. Then reality hits me. I swim towards the front of the house meaning to ask Amber about her time with the Erebus. I remember the bits of conversation I overheard between James and Jaspen in the caves. I wonder if the guide who helped them gain access to the city was Amber.

I enter the front room and sitting in one of the chairs is Amber looking terribly afraid when her eyes meet mine. I glance over toward the other chair and realize someone is sitting there. I swim closer and the mer-man sitting in the other chair looks up at me. I'm greeted with the same set of beautiful green eyes from my dream.

He gets out of the chair and swims toward me.

He puts out his hand while grinning, "Ever Harding, I am pleased to formally meet you. My name is Alex Raver. I was supposed to be your real guardian but Jack...."

"Kept you away from me," I finish for him.

He averts his eyes and nods. All of the signs come back to me, Jack rushed me into the water at the first sign of mer-people in the forest that first visit to the beach. He was taken and when I saved him they never came after us. The biggest red flag though was his avoidance of choosing sides.

I can feel it again. I am deflating and losing my grip. I glide over to the chair and sink into it. My breath catches with the first sob. Amber glances at me with profound sympathy and sadness. All I can think is Jack and I'm falling again and darkness consumes me.

This isn't the end!

Be sure to check out Barely Breathing and Forever Breathing – the continuation of Jack and Ever's story!

#

I have complete gratitude for my family. You are my grounding place. Everything always comes back to you. Thank you to my boys for the many days and nights I was away deep in the ocean and you took over in making meals and watching your sister. Thank you to my husband, Richard for believing in me and encouraging my pursuit of a dream.

Much more gratitude than I can utter to all of my first readers. My very first, Shannon Longarzo, you were the true test to whether this book would work at all. My bests, Rochelle Gilman, Stephanie Rodriguez, Nicole Morse and Sember Baker, for all of your support and positive criticism, where would I be without you? My mom, Shelley Kelley and my mom in law, Stephanie Hayes, thank you for the multiple edits and encouragement. It meant so much in my journey.

#

Heather Allen has just fulfilled a life -long dream by completing and publishing the Just Breathe Trilogy. She loves to write and has many more stories to come. She lives in Melbourne, Florida with her husband of fourteen years, two sons and daughter. She loves to be outside whenever possible either at the beach or out in the boat.

#

The Sound of Shooting Stars

This is a Mature Young Adult Novel and includes references to sex and adult language.

Jamie Grey grew up tossed around between foster homes. At an early age he shut the world out, deciding he wouldn't care. Whatever life had to throw at him, he would look the other way. Now his senior year is about to start and he's been forced into yet another new home. This will be the last time, he assures himself. When an unexpected curveball comes his way in the form of a certain stubborn seventeen year old girl, Jamie soon finds out that life doesn't always work out the way you plan it.

Beckett Chase has been entitled her entire life. Living in the plush landscape of Palm Beach, Florida, she's never wanted for anything. She's always taken what and who she wants with no remorse. When she sets her sights on Jamie Grey and she's met with rejection, her descent from the top begins.

With a twist of events causing Jamie and Beckett's worlds to collide, will they be able to put aside their differences or will fate intervene offering an entirely different option?

Coming Soon ...

Storm of Ekkos (Ekkos Saga Book #1)

Sixteen year old Elijah Weston thought the small town of Lincoln wouldn't ever be interesting. As far as he was concerned the place had an identity crisis. It wasn't fully in the mountains and not close enough to the ocean to be called a beach town. It was the epicenter of boredom. With the throngs of churchgoers and bible preachers surrounding him, nothing ever seemed to change. He believed growing up, that his chance at ever leaving his home was a possibility that would never happen.

Until...

A terrible storm rolled in from out of nowhere and he saw her. At first he thought she was a mirage off in the distance, a trick of the rain pelting down on him. Surely his eyes had deceived him. Certainly he couldn't have seen her walking out of the side of a mountain, could he? Yet, when she appeared again, suddenly coming to his rescue, he knew she was real and different than anyone he had ever seen. What he didn't know was that she was here on Earth for a reason and she would do anything to get back home to Ekkos.

Hadley Morrow had a purpose, go to the other Earth, kill the intruder and return to Ekkos. She was to complete her task without anyone on the planet seeing her. It was a test, her first opportunity to prove herself. But he almost died because of her and she had to act. It was stupid but it happened. Now she finds herself stuck on the wrong planet with a boy she resents, but can't leave behind.

