 
# A GRANDMOTHER'S LEGACY

### 365 Notes to Live By

## Buffy Andrews

Copyright 2015 Buffy Andrews

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Cover Art by Joan Alley

Editing by Jacqueline Hopper

This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental. The characters are the product of the author's imagination and used fictitiously.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Published by Prism Book Group

First Edition, 2015

Published in the United States of America

Contact info: contact@prismbookgroup.com

http://www.prismbookgroup.com

# FOREWORD

This book contains 365 notes also included in the fiction book _Ella's Rain_ by Buffy Andrews. These are notes written by Grandma D to her granddaughter Ella, to be shared in the year after her passing.

We are publishing these notes separately, as we hope Grandma D's legacy will inspire many.

Don't forget to check out _Ella's Rain_ , releasing in February 2015. You'll find an excerpt in the back.

# AUTHOR'S NOTE

I'm often asked how much of what I write comes from personal experience. I don't think you can be an author and not have who you are be a part of what you create.

_Ella's Rain_ includes 365 letters Grandma D wrote to Ella before she died. Grandma instructs her best friend, Maddie, who becomes Ella's guardian upon her death, to give Ella a new note every day.

When I started writing Grandma D's notes in _Ella's Rain_ , I thought about my sons and what I'd want them to know if I wasn't able to grow old with them. I also thought about my sister, Wendy, and her husband, Brad, and all of my friends who have passed away and the children they left behind. What would they want their children to know? How would they want their children to live?

What I discovered while writing the notes is that many of them were born out of actual conversations I've had with my sons over the years. When I completed them, I felt not only good about the guidance Grandma D had provided Ella, but also a sense of pride in the legacy I'm leaving behind.

I hope Grandma D's notes inspire you to be a better person and to live life thoughtfully and with purpose and passion. I hope you share this book with those you love and that they in turn share it with others. Together we can bring Grandma's D message to the world.

Find good in bad, success in failure, joy in sorrow, life in death. And remember, the light is most clearly seen in the darkness.

I wish you a life of love and laughter.

Grace and peace to you always,

Buffy

# GRANDMA'S NOTES TO ELLA

Note # 1

My dearest Ella,

I wish we would've had more time together, but we both know we don't always get what we want. I know you're in good hands with Maddie. She loves you as if you were her own. Always has.

I wanted to leave you with some of my thoughts, things for you to think about as you journey through life. I plan to write three hundred and sixty five notes so you'll have a new one to read every day for a whole year following my death. I pray I'll be able to finish them before it's time for me to say goodbye. I hope they comfort and guide you, and provide the wisdom I will not be there to share.

Ella, I love you so very much. My life has been a thousand times richer because you were a part of it, and I wouldn't have wanted to change a single thing. Stay healthy, be happy, and live life like there's no tomorrow.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 2

My dearest Ella,

Always do the right thing. It might not be what's easiest.

I remember the time you took a bookmark from Maddie's house without asking. You were about seven, I believe. I found the bookmark and recognized it because I'd given it to Maddie. When I asked you about the bookmark, you confessed. You begged me to return it to Maddie because you didn't want to face her. I refused. Instead, I drove you to Maddie's, and you returned it, and apologized. It wasn't easy and you cried a lot, but you did it.

Well, Lord knows you're not seven anymore, but I pray you'll never forget the bookmark and the lesson you learned that day. Always do the right thing, Ella. Even when it's difficult.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 3

My dearest Ella,

There's no shame in failing as long as you learn from it.

Remember when you received an F on your biology exam because you didn't study? You thought you knew the material well enough and decided to go shopping with your friends instead of studying. It was the first and only F you ever received. I can still picture you crying as you pulled the test out of your pink backpack.

We all fail, Ella. Lord knows I've failed many times in my life. But a failure is only a failure if you don't learn from it.

When you fail, as I know you will, I want you to pick yourself up and try again. And again and again. Don't let failing or the fear of failure keep you from pursuing your dreams. Where would we be if the great inventors stopped trying after they'd first failed? Failures make us stronger and wiser. They're the building blocks of success. So embrace them and learn from them.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 4

My dearest Ella,

Help others if you're able.

I'm always amazed by people who don't hold open the door for the person behind them or offer their bus seat when it's standing-room-only to an elderly person or mother with a small child. How rude. I hope, as you live your life, you help others if you're able. You'll be surprised by the little things you can do to brighten someone else's day.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 5

My dearest Ella,

Don't be afraid to love.

I've been worried about this. I don't want you to be afraid to love someone because you fear you'll lose them. Lord knows you've lost a lot of loved ones in your life. But, please, Ella, after I'm gone, don't give up on love. Don't let the fear of losing someone keep you from loving them. Love is the greatest gift of all, and if you're lucky enough to find it, hold onto it with everything you've got.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 6

My dearest Ella,

Always count your blessings.

I've told you this so many times I'm sure you grew sick of me saying it. But it's true, Ella. Always count the blessings in your life. Never take them for granted. People spend so much time thinking about what they don't have that they miss enjoying what they do have. Be thankful for the life you were given and cherish each day as if it was your last.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 7

My dearest Ella,

In order to grow beautiful flowers, you need both sun and rain.

You asked me one time when you were little why it had to rain, why it couldn't be sunny all of the time. Do you remember what I told you? I told you that both rain and sun are needed to grow beautiful flowers. Too much of either one isn't good. We're like flowers, Ella. And sometimes it's sunny and sometimes it rainy. But it's the rain and the sun, the good and the bad, that help us grow into the people we're meant to become.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 8

My dearest Ella,

Stop and listen to the music. Sometimes it's very faint.

After your parents and sister died, I thought all of the music in my life was gone. But then I saw you cradling your baby doll and feeding her a bottle and I realized the music wasn't gone, it was just very faint. So faint that if I hadn't been listening quietly, I would've missed it completely. So often the music is there, Ella, but it gets drowned out by the weariness of life. When life gets tough, as it surely will, listen for the music.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 9

My dearest Ella,

Believe in yourself.

Sometimes it's hard to believe in yourself. That little monster called _Doubt_ taps you on the shoulder and makes you question if you really have what it takes. Shoo that beast away. You must believe in yourself, even if no one else believes in you. Too many dreams are lost because a person gave up too soon.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 10

My dearest Ella,

Don't be afraid to let others know you care.

I don't think Maddie would mind me sharing this story. When we were in our late teens, Maddie was smitten by a young man in our English class. They went on a few dates, but Charlie started dating someone else because he didn't think Maddie was interested. It's hard to believe, but Maddie was shy back then and afraid to share her feelings.

Maddie never quite got over Charlie. She always wondered what would've happened if she'd told him how much she cared. Don't be afraid of sharing your feelings, Ella. People want and need to know they're loved. Sure, there are no guarantees in life. You could open the door to your heart and have it slammed shut. But if you never open it, you'll never know.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 11

My dearest Ella,

Love yourself.

Sometimes, it's hard to love yourself. But I really think that before you can truly love someone else you first have to love yourself. Loving yourself means accepting your imperfections and shortcomings. It means striving to be a better person daily, a person you can be proud of. God has given you the gift of life and many talents to go along with it. Love yourself enough to take care of that life and use your talents the way God intended.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 12

My dearest Ella,

Words have power.

Know and understand this power. Words can harm and hurt. Use them to encourage, and uplift, and love. Saying a kind word is such a simple thing, and yet it can change a life. And remember, too, words live on long after they're spoken. Words said in anger can hurt for a lifetime. So choose your words wisely as you journey through life. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 13

My dearest Ella,

Value friendships.

Maddie and I met when we were wee little in Sunday school. We became fast friends and have been inseparable since. Sort of reminds me of you and Emily. I can still picture Emily and you dressing up in my old clothes and having tea parties with your dolls.

Never take your friendships for granted, Ella. Like anything worth having, friendships require an investment of time. They need to be nourished so they continue to grow. I can't imagine a life without Maddie or the many other friends I've been blessed to know and love.

I hope you always cherish your friends and that your lives are filled with laughter and love.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 14

My dearest Ella,

Live life to the fullest.

I once knew a man who had so many dreams he recorded them in a tiny black notebook. Whenever I'd see him, he'd show me his notebook so I could read the new dreams he'd added. One day, I asked him how many of the dreams he had fulfilled. The answer? None. He spent his lifetime collecting dreams, but never living them.

Of course, he had all sorts of excuses. Not enough money. Not enough time. Too young. Too old. It got so that I stopped asking him about his dreams whenever I saw him. And he stopped showing me his tiny black notebook. He died recently and along with him all those dreams.

Don't be like this man, Ella. Don't be a collector of dreams. Live your dreams. Live life to the fullest and give it everything you've got. You only get one shot at life, so make it a great one.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 15

My dearest Ella,

Whatever you choose to do, be passionate about it.

You like history. You enjoy biology. But what are you truly passionate about, Ella? Only you can answer this question. It's easier to pursue something you have passion for than something you don't.

My friend Ed Sanders loved the theater. He was passionate about it. Every chance he had he tried out for a school play or a community theater production. Ed was also brilliant in math. His father wanted him to study engineering in college. So Ed did. And he hated it. Sure, he was smart enough to be an engineer, but it wasn't what he was passionate about. It wasn't what he wanted to be.

Eventually, Ed followed his passion and studied theater. He and his wife started a community theater in Vermont that is very successful.

So whatever you choose to do, be passionate about it. Want it with every ounce of your being. Life without passion is like a bird without wings—you walk, but you never soar and become the very thing you're destined to become.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 16

My dearest Ella,

Ignore Herman the Horrible Habit.

If old Herm starts poking around, and I have a feeling he will, make sure you beat him down. I know you, Ella, and whenever you get stressed he comes out. Don't let Herman the Horrible Habit win.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 17

My dearest Ella,

Embrace change.

People hate change. They get comfortable inside their little cocoons and are afraid to bust out and explore the world. Don't be afraid of change, Ella. Don't be one of those people who stay inside their cocoon because they fear the unknown.

Change happens. That's life. It's how you deal with the changes in your life that matter. You can either fight them or embrace them. I'm hoping you'll embrace them, and in the process grow and learn.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 18

My dearest Ella,

Don't say I can't. Believe that you can.

When you were little, one of your favorite books was _The Little Engine That Could._ We'd read that book over and over. You loved how the littlest engine worked so hard to make it over the mountain. "I think I can. I think I can," you'd say, pointing to that little blue engine.

Optimism can move big trains even when the engine pulling it is very small. I hope as you pull some of the big trains in your life, you'll be like the Little Engine and persevere. Eventually, you'll make it over the mountain and laugh, and smile, and cheer on the way down.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 19

My dearest Ella,

Treat others how you would want them to treat you.

This is pretty much a no-brainer, as you'd say. But I think it's important to include. It's tough being nice to someone who isn't nice to you. And I'd be lying if I said I was always able to do this. Truth is, if someone were nasty, I was more often than not nasty right back. But it wasn't the right thing to do. I let my anger get the best of me. And my temper. So don't be like me. Be a better person.

Try to treat people how you want to be treated. I tried this once with a nasty coworker and an amazing thing happened. She started being nice to me. No one could believe it. The day she left, she thanked me for being such a good friend. To be honest, I was probably her only friend. But it made me feel good all the same.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 20

My dearest Ella,

Find the silver lining in the dark rain cloud.

For the longest time after your grandfather died, all I could see were dark rain clouds. I was carrying his child and alone. But then I felt your mother kick in my belly for the first time, and it was like the clouds had parted. There truly was a silver lining and a reason to live. I hope you're always able to find the silver lining in the dark rain clouds, Ella.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 21

My dearest Ella,

Don't let hate poison your soul.

Hate is a strong word. It's one I try to never use. Hate eats people from the inside out and leaves them lonely and miserable. It can destroy your life if you let it.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 22

My dearest Ella,

Dream big.

What's your biggest dream? Want to go to Hawaii? Start saving your money. Want to finish a marathon? Start training for one. Don't be afraid to dream big. And don't settle for a little dream because you think a big dream is impossible. Nothing is impossible.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 23

My dearest Ella,

Don't be afraid to play in the mud.

Remember the time I hosed you and Emily off in the backyard? The two of you had played in a mud puddle and were covered from head to toe. You had the best time that day.

Somewhere along the way, you stopped jumping in mud puddles. Maybe you didn't want to get your clothes dirty. Or maybe you thought a big girl shouldn't do such a little-girl thing. Whatever the reason, you stopped. Just like that. And it made me sad.

Then one day, I dared you to jump in a mud puddle under the cherry tree.

"Grandma," you said, "I'm too old for jumping in puddles."

So I jumped in first, and you followed. We had so much fun getting muddy that day. I think I was still washing mud out of my hair a week later.

Sometimes, Ella, you just have to let go and jump in the mud puddle.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 24

My dearest Ella,

Live each day as if it was your last.

Easy to say, harder to do. And I was never able to do it until now when the end is near for me. But try, Ella. Really try to live each day as if it was your last. The big things won't seem so big. The small things won't seem so small. My wish for you is that you try to make each second of every day count. Impossible? Maybe. Worth it? Absolutely.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 25

My dearest Ella,

Forgive yourself. Forgive others.

Don't ever underestimate the power of forgiveness. I've seen it free people. I've seen it lift burdens that had weighed them down and kept them from moving on. Forgiving isn't always easy, especially when we've been hurt by someone we loved and trusted. But when you forgive, healing can begin.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 26

My dearest Ella,

Actions speak louder than words.

If I tell you I'm kind, you might or might not believe me. But if you see me allow someone to go ahead of me in the grocery store checkout line or offer my bus seat to a pregnant woman, you'll see I'm kind.

It's not what you say that matters, it's what you do. Your actions show the world the kind of person you are.

I hope as you go through life, your actions will show the world you are a caring and loving person who thinks about others.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 27

My dearest Ella,

It's what you do when no one's watching that matters.

Do you remember our old neighbor, Mrs. Liek? God rest her soul. I really missed her when she died. Anyway, Mrs. Liek never stopped helping others, whether it was someone in her church, her card club, or her Bible study group.

Most times no one knew it was Mrs. Liek helping them. A kettle of soup would show up on their doorstep, or a knitted blanket, or a loaf of freshly baked bread. Oh, how folks loved her sweet bread.

Mrs. Liek did these things not because she wanted accolades. She did them because she cared. I only knew of her acts of kindness because she'd often asked me to deliver the items. "Just drop 'em off and tell them it was from someone who cared," she'd say.

Ella, I always wanted to be like old Mrs. Liek. I think I succeeded somewhat. I hope as you live your life, you'll help others in need and do it not because you want people to notice, but because you truly care and you know it's the right thing to do.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 28

My dearest Ella,

Ask yourself, am I the kind of person I want to be?

This one's pretty simple, Ella. Do you like who you are? If you don't, then do something about it. A good self-evaluation from time to time can be healthy.

I have to be honest. Some days I don't like myself a whole lot. Perhaps I'm too quick to anger or I judge someone unfairly. It's times like these when I remind myself I'm not the kind of person I want to be and I work hard to change that.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 29

My dearest Ella,

Savor each day like it's the best dessert you've ever had.

I know your favorite part of a meal is the dessert and your favorite dessert is strawberry shortcake. Imagine each day being strawberry shortcake. Savor it and enjoy it.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 30

My dearest Ella,

Don't cut corners. Take the time and do things right.

You've never been a patient girl, Ella. You're always looking for shortcuts. Understand this about yourself and when you find you're about to cut a corner, stop. Step back. Take a deep breath and start again. It might take you longer, but you'll be happier in the end. The extra time you took to get it right will be worth it.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 31

My dearest Ella,

Don't be in a hurry for tomorrow. Enjoy today.

Too many people hurry through life. They can't wait until their baby talks, and walks, and goes to school. Pretty soon their baby is driving and in college and, well, not a baby anymore. Tomorrows come fast enough. Don't rush them, Ella. Live in the present. That's where you'll find life.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 32

My dearest Ella,

Surround yourself with people who love and care about you.

I think people are happiest when they are with people who care about them. Their love sustains us and guides us as we deal with life's ups and downs. Imagine living alone with no one who loved you nearby. You'd be sad and lonely and your life wouldn't be nearly as complete. Wherever you are, whatever you do, be with people who love and care about you.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 33

My dearest Ella,

Be brave.

After I'm gone, Ella, I need you to be brave. Very brave. I need you to pick yourself up and go on with your life. Being brave doesn't mean you're not scared. It means moving forward despite being scared. It's means not allowing your fear to hold you back. I know you can be brave, Ella. In fact, I'm counting on it.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 34

My dearest Ella,

Look to yourself for answers.

Don't spend your life looking to others for answers. Their answers might be right for them, but not right for you. There is no answer key in life. The best you can do is ask yourself the questions and be honest with yourself when you answer them. No one knows you better than you, so why would you put more value in someone else's answer than your own?

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 35

My dearest Ella,

Have the courage to step into the unknown.

I often thought about going back to school. I always wanted to become a teacher like Maddie. And, after your mother started first grade, I looked into it. Maddie said she'd watch your mother at night so I could attend night classes. She even offered to pay for some of the classes. But I was scared. I didn't think I could handle working in the sewing factory all day, and taking care of your mother, and going to school at night. And I was scared I wouldn't do well. No matter how much Maddie encouraged me to just try it, I wasn't brave enough.

Don't be like me, Ella. Have courage to try new things, explore new places. Don't be afraid of what you don't know and what you haven't experienced.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 36

My dearest Ella,

Taking the first step is often the hardest.

I've always struggled with getting started. Remember when I wanted to lose weight and you'd say, "Just put on your sneaks, Gram, and take that first step." Well, you were right. The first step was the hardest and each that followed became a bit easier.

But, Ella, if you ever find yourself struggling to take a first step I hope you hear me scolding you the way you scolded me. A story can't end if it never begins. A race can't finish if it never starts.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 37

My dearest Ella,

Keep your faith, even in the darkest times.

When your parents and sister died, I was angry—mad at the world, mad at God. I even walked outside one night and screamed, shaking my finger at that sliver of a moon. It was a dark time for me. Very dark. And I struggled with my faith. I'd look at you and think, why, God, did you allow this to happen to this sweet child?

But God's a big boy, Ella. He understood my anger and despair and, in the end, it was my faith that mended and made me whole again.

Please, promise me, Ella, that when I die, you won't lose your faith. God understands your pain. Trust Him to take care of the things you can't.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 38

My dearest Ella,

Don't shy away from challenges.

I've always loved this saying from Frederick B. Wilcox, "You can't steal second base and keep your foot on first." I hope that as you face challenges in your life you're bold enough to take your foot off first and go for second. Sometimes, you'll make it. Sometimes, you won't. But you must try, Ella. If you shy away from challenges, you'll never grow and learn. You'll be stuck on the same base your entire life, or until the game's over.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 39

My dearest Ella,

Never settle for mediocre. Strive to do your best.

Anyone can be mediocre, Ella. It's easy to get Cs, harder to get As. I hope mediocre is never good enough for you. I hope you strive to do your best in everything you do.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 40

My dearest Ella,

Life isn't always fair, but it's still pretty wonderful.

I knew someone who never took care of himself. He smoked. He drank. He lived life hard. And he lived to be a very old man.

On the other hand, Helen—my friend who bought you that princess doll you thought was too pretty to play with—took excellent care of herself. She was the healthiest person I knew. Always ate right, exercised several times a week, and never had a nip of alcohol. Yet, despite her healthy lifestyle, she died running a marathon from an apparent heart condition no one knew about.

Well, life's not fair and nothing we say or do will ever change that. But I hope you remember it's still pretty wonderful. The people we meet, the experiences we have, the love we share—well, you can't get much better than that.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 41

My dearest Ella,

Be curious about the world around you.

I never knew anyone who asked more questions than you. Where does milk come from, Grandma? How do birds know which direction is south? How do ants build hills, and bees make honey, and fireflies light up? I've always loved your curiosity. Hold on to this. If more adults had the curiosity of a child, perhaps they'd see the wonderment in life's small miracles and appreciate them a bit more.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 42

My dearest Ella,

Pay attention to details.

Always, always pay attention to details. They matter. Period. Lucy Gingerich didn't and she ended up signing a contract that cost her a lot of money, poor soul. Sometimes little details save us from big mistakes.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 43

My dearest Ella,

Don't rely on material things to make you happy.

You know that old saying about keeping up with the Joneses? Well, don't. Living in a new house, or driving a new car, or having the best clothes aren't going to make you happy long term. When you die, you can't take those things with you. The things that will make you happy are the intangibles—the love of family and friends. You can't put a price on love, or commitment, or friendship. Material things come and go, but family and friends, they're around forever.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 44

My dearest Ella,

Never stop dreaming.

When I was fifty, I thought I was too old to dream. I figured my life was half over and, well, what was the point? But then I realized that just because I'm getting older doesn't mean I can't dream.

Never think you're too old to dream, Ella. Dreams give us hope. They keep us alert, and alive, and give us something to work toward. Always be a dreamer.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 45

My dearest Ella,

Don't be afraid to lead.

Leading can be scary. But it can also be fun, and challenging, and rewarding. Don't be afraid to lead. There'll be times in your life when others will look to you for guidance. Lead them wisely, Ella. Lead them with confidence and compassion.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 46

My dearest Ella,

Fight for what's right.

Remember that time in middle school when you saw a boy bullying a classmate and you stood up for the victim?

I hope you always stand up for what's right, even if it means you're standing alone. It takes courage to fight for what is right, especially when it goes against popular sentiment. I think the real worth of a person is seen when he stands up for what's right despite what others might think of him.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 47

My dearest Ella,

Smile more often.

You have a beautiful smile, Ella. And I must say all the money I spent on braces was worth it. Try to smile more.

One day, as an experiment, I decided to smile at everyone I met. It was amazing how good it made me feel, and it seemed to brighten everyone else's day, too. A smile costs nothing, and yet it's one of the most valuable gifts you can give.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 48

My dearest Ella,

Be happy with what you have, not what you don't.

You once had a baby doll that didn't do anything special. She didn't cry, or coo, or crawl. You begged me to buy you a doll like Emily's. Her doll did all of these things.

I told you to be happy with the doll you had. Sure, she didn't cry or coo, but you could make those sounds for her. Turned out you got pretty good at making crying and cooing sounds, so much so that doll became another appendage for you.

Always love what you have, Ella. It's natural to want something bigger or better, but rarely necessary.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 49

My dearest Ella,

Soar as high as you're able.

As you take flight, I hope you soar as high as you're able. And when you're up there looking down, remember when you first flapped your wings and realized you could fly. Cherish that moment and encourage others on the ground.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 50

My dearest Ella,

Not every road is straight.

We sure learned this, haven't we? But wouldn't life be boring if all of the roads were straight? If we always knew just what to expect? The curves, and the hills, and the valleys keep life interesting—and that's a pretty good thing, I think.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 51

My dearest Ella,

Your struggles make you stronger.

I know you've never liked when I said this, but it's true. Our struggles build character. They make us appreciate what we have because we had to work so hard to get it. Getting that A in biology was certainly a struggle for you. There were times when you wanted to give up and settle. But you didn't. And out of that struggle came the confidence you could succeed even when it seemed impossible.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 52

My dearest Ella,

Remember, we are all God's children, differences aside.

Even if someone looks different or lives a different lifestyle than you, it doesn't give you the right to judge. Ultimately, only God can judge, and our job is to show God's love to everyone. Only by showing God's love can we bring others to God, who might not know him.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 53

My dearest Ella,

Give and don't expect anything in return.

When you give someone something, don't expect anything in return. And when someone gives you something, accept it graciously. Don't feel as though you have to give them something because they gave you something.

When we give to others, we give something to ourselves.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 54

My dearest Ella,

Follow your heart.

I think if you follow your heart, you'll be happier. There were many times in life when I didn't do something because I listened to my brain filling me with doubts. I wish I had followed my heart. It might have been a harder road to travel, but I think I would've been happier. When you follow your heart, you're being true to yourself.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 55

My dearest Ella,

Explore new worlds.

When you open yourself to new experiences, you grow and learn. People who stay in their own little world because it's comfortable never experience the joy of discovery. Be an explorer, Ella.

I hope when you get to college, you'll be able to study abroad for a semester. Maddie knows how much I want you to have this opportunity, and I know she'll do all she can to make it happen.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 56

My dearest Ella,

Be a lifelong learner.

I always loved school. I loved learning new things, and I realized at a young age that knowledge empowered me. If there is one thing I regret, it's not continuing my formal education. I thought about going to college, but the timing just never seemed right. But I'm proud I never stopped learning. I hope you, too, will value education and continue to learn throughout your life.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 57

My dearest Ella,

Find treasures in trash.

I mean this literally and figuratively. Remember the time we made a purse for Maddie out of discarded book covers? She loved that purse. Used it every day. We saw a treasure while others saw only trash.

Always look for hope in the discarded. You might just be able to bring it back to life—and give it a new purpose.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 58

My dearest Ella,

Enjoy nature.

Some of the best times we had were when we hiked Timber Trail. I can still picture you climbing on the big boulders and pretending to be a mermaid, and Maddie and me patiently waiting for your prince to come (smiles). There is so much beauty in nature. Enjoy it, and appreciate it, and take care of it.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 59

My dearest Ella,

Don't be afraid of starting over.

This is a biggie, Ella. When your grandfather died and I was pregnant with your mother, I had to start over. A single gunshot had shattered my life. My world had changed forever, and I was devastated. I had no idea what the future would bring, but I picked myself up and started over. I know starting over is scary, but after I'm gone, I want you—no, I need you—to begin anew.

Starting over doesn't mean forgetting the past, it means living with the past and moving forward into the future.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 60

My dearest Ella,

When you throw a rock in the water be mindful of the ripples it creates.

Remember throwing stones in the lake and watching the ripples they created? Life's a lot like that, Ella. We do something or say something, and we don't always realize who might be affected by that splash. Be mindful of this. Understand that when you throw a rock, the ripples spread outward to others.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 61

My dearest Ella,

Be true to yourself.

Never be someone you're not just to gain acceptance, Ella. Remember the group of girls in middle school that wanted you to join their clique? They were the popular girls and they had all these rules, such as you could only wear jeans on Fridays. I was so proud of you when you declined their offer.

Always be who you are, and be proud of who you are. Act according to your beliefs and values. If you remain true to yourself, you'll be a happier person.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 62

My dearest Ella,

When life hands you lemons, make lemon meringue pie.

I've always tried to turn bad into good. I haven't always been successful, but at least I've tried. I hope you'll try, too.

I've always admired Maddie for her ability to do this. Even when we were kids, she could take a bitter lemon and turn it into the sweetest treat you'd ever tasted. Once, when I had my tonsils out, she threw a 'Good Riddance, Tonsils' party in my bedroom. We had so much fun eating Jell-O, and pudding, and popsicles and watching our favorite shows. She made getting my tonsils out seem like getting an invitation to the best party in town. And you know what? The party was.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 63

My dearest Ella,

Never lie.

I've always told you that the worst thing you could do is lie to me. I detest lying more than anything. Even if you think a person would be better off being lied to, don't. They deserve better than that. And you are better than that. So don't lie, ever.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 64

My dearest Ella,

Don't procrastinate.

I certainly hope that after your last science project (smiles) you've learned your lesson about procrastination. Procrastination usually isn't pretty. The results pale in comparison to what they might have been had you not put things off.

I know you become overwhelmed when you're faced with a huge project. Remember to break projects into smaller parts, set goals for each part, and tackle one at a time.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 65

My dearest Ella,

Set a good example for others to follow.

I've always tried to set a good example for you to follow, Ella. Hopefully I've succeeded. Be a good example for others, whether it's a child or an adult. You probably don't realize how many people watch you and look up to you. Be the kind of person you'd want to look up to and follow.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 66

My dearest Ella,

Watch where you step.

Sometimes in life, we're running so fast or we're not paying attention to our surroundings, and we step on something we hadn't intended to. And I'm really not talking about gum, although that can be a mess! I'm talking about people, Ella.

Sometimes we step on people, hurt their feelings, make them sad or even cry. Be aware and sensitive to those around you. Never hurt someone if you can help it.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 67

My dearest Ella,

Be courteous to those you meet.

I've always taught you to be polite and courteous to people you meet. There's no need to be arrogant or condescending.

Your grandfather was one of the most polite people I've ever known. He always said, "No, thank you. Yes, ma'am. No, ma'am. Yes, sir. No, sir." You rarely hear that nowadays. It would do the world good if more people were polite.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 68

My dearest Ella,

Be excited by the things you see.

I remember the first time you caught a firefly. It was a hot July night. We were in the middle of a heat wave and you chased the flickering lights around the yard, giggling and dancing about. You were so excited to see all the blinking lights.

Never stop being excited by the things you see, Ella. There's a wondrous world out there full of blinking lights. And I hope you don't miss one of them.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 69

My dearest Ella,

Marry for love.

I hope this goes without saying, Ella. You'd be amazed, though, by the number of people who marry for all the wrong reasons. Wealth. Prestige. Pressure from parents, grandparents, and friends.

Marry a man because you can't stand the idea of spending one second of your life without him being a part of it. If you marry for love, I know you'll be happy and work hard to resolve tough issues that'll inevitably arise. People who don't marry for love aren't invested in making the marriage work. It's easy for them to walk away without really trying to make things better.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 70

My dearest Ella,

Share what you have with others.

Sometimes, it seems like the people who have the least share the most and the people who have the most share the least. I've always wondered why this is. Please, share what you have with others. When you share, it makes your heart happy. And a happy heart is a healthy heart.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 71

My dearest Ella,

Be gentle with another's feelings.

Sometimes, I wish I'd been gentler when telling someone something. I spoke too quickly without thinking about how my message might be received. I never tried to be mean or harsh, but I think I came across that way. In fact, I know I came across that way. Be aware of other's feelings and handle them with the utmost care.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 72

My dearest Ella,

Admit when you're wrong.

Some people have to be right no matter what. They'll argue and argue even when they know they're wrong. Don't be one of these people, Ella. When you're wrong, admit it and move on.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 73

My dearest Ella,

Be proud of who you are.

Being proud means being happy with the person you are. I'm proud, for instance, that I've been the best grandma I could be. That doesn't mean I haven't made mistakes, because I most certainly have. It means I'm proud because I did the best I could.

If you're ever not proud of who you are, make changes and get proud.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 74

My dearest Ella,

Don't hold on to regrets.

Too many people spend too much time holding on to regrets. Learn to let them go. Instead of focusing on the past, focus on the future. Holding on to regrets takes energy away from something more productive.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 75

My dearest Ella,

Turn tears into triumphs.

I remember the day you came home from school crying because you didn't get a part in the school play. After we talked, you decided to help out with the set design and you loved doing it. The next year, you didn't even want to try out for the play. You couldn't wait to share your set ideas with the art teacher. A great example of turning tears into triumphs. Remember this when you cry and things aren't going exactly as you'd like them to.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 76

My dearest Ella,

Laugh every chance you get.

Laughing is therapeutic. It's good for your body and your mind. What's that saying? Laughter is the best medicine. I think that's true. And it's free. Better yet.

I've never been good at telling jokes. Your father had that knack. I think he remembered every joke he'd ever been told. And he always told them with such expression and enthusiasm. He could walk into a room and have everyone laughing within minutes.

I miss his contagious smile—you take after him—and the way he could lighten people's spirits with his goofiness. He gave me some of the best laughs of my life.

When you're stressed, lighten your mood with a good, hearty laugh. It's infectious and might just be the ray of sunshine you need to brighten your day.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 77

My dearest Ella,

Don't be afraid to try new foods.

You were always pretty sneaky when it came to food. The next time you turn your nose up at a dish, why not try it? Just a bite. You never know when a new food might become a favorite.

That's what happened to me. I've never liked fish. Every time I tried to eat it, I'd see my pet fish swimming in its glass bowl. Then one night after I was married, your grandfather made tilapia. He tricked me into trying it by not telling me it was fish. I took one bite and loved it. Never in a million years did I think I'd ever like fish.

Food can be an adventure, Ella. Enjoy it.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 78

My dearest Ella,

Don't let little things become big things.

I've seen the littlest thing blow up to become a very big thing. Don't let this happen, Ella. Take care of the little thing when it's little. It's much easier to remove a seedling than a tree. Let that tree grow along with its wiry roots and you'll have a heck of a time getting it out of the ground.

Believe me, Ella. I've learned this the hard way. I'm hoping you won't have to.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 79

My dearest Ella,

Pray every day.

Make time for prayer. It nourishes your soul and is healing.

I couldn't imagine not talking to God each day. It's during my prayers when I feel closest to Him. I hope you feel that same kind of closeness when you talk to our Heavenly Father. May He always comfort you and bring you peace and joy.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 80

My dearest Ella,

Be thankful for life's tiniest treasures, realizing they're important, too.

Every living thing, no matter how small, plays a role in this thing we call life. Appreciate this and understand that even little things, like ants, have a part in nature's glory.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 81

My dearest Ella,

Avoid negative people.

I never cared for grumpy people. They drag down everyone around them. There used to be this man at the grocery store who never smiled. I'd smile, but he'd never smile back. It made me feel kind of grumpy, too. Don't allow grumpy people to bring you down. Some people just seem determined to be as miserable as they can be.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 82

My dearest Ella,

Eat healthy foods.

I'm not saying you have to give up chips and candy. But try to eat healthier. Moderation is the key.

Also, try eating a food you don't like in a different way. I never liked cooked broccoli. But I discovered I like it raw dipped in salad dressing. Same for cauliflower. Make wise food choices and you'll feel better physically.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 83

My dearest Ella,

Exercise.

I think people who exercise are healthier and happier. Try to make exercise a lifelong pursuit. I think I've been a good role model. I never stopped going for walks and you know how much I loved my water aerobics classes. Exercise is good for the heart and soul.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 84

My dearest Ella,

Read.

You've always loved reading. When you were little, I'd read to you each night before you went to bed. It became something you looked forward to. Even when we got home late and it was past your bed time, you'd beg me to read at least a few pages. I enjoyed those quiet times with you in my arms and a book in our laps.

Now that I'm sick and too tired to read, you wrap me in your arms and read to me. I hope we get to finish this book together, Ella, and I hope you know how much this nightly ritual means to me.

If you have children, cradle them in your arms and share with them your love of books. Teach them to be lifelong readers and they'll become lifelong learners.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 85

My dearest Ella,

Don't blame others for things you've done.

It's easy to point the finger at someone else. Don't. I'd tell you your finger will turn black and fall off if you do this, but you're not six anymore (smiles).

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 86

My dearest Ella,

Don't give up on the things you want most.

Tenacity is a great thing, Ella, especially when you're trying to achieve a goal. A persistent person often prevails. So if there is something you want, _really_ want, don't give up.

Remember when I wanted to learn sign language? It was so difficult for me, but I was determined to learn because I wanted to be able to communicate with Marie. I took classes and practiced and practiced. I'll never forget Marie's reaction when I spoke to her using sign language for the first time. She cried and hugged me. I cried, too. I thought I was never going to learn it well enough to talk, but I did because I never gave up.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 87

My dearest Ella,

Get yearly physicals.

I want you to take this one seriously. It's not just your old grandma's nonsense. A friend of a friend hated yearly physicals, so she never went. Said it made her feel uncomfortable. Well, let me tell you, they're no picnic. But they're important. The poor soul ended up having cervical cancer, something that would've been detected earlier if she'd had yearly check-ups. I don't care how much you dislike getting physicals, you better not miss even one.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 88

My dearest Ella,

Stay mentally fit all life long.

You should care for your mental health just as you'd care for your physical health. I try to take at least fifteen minutes each day to quiet my body and focus my mind. Meditating and stretching help. Find what works for you. Right now, take a deep breath and relax.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 89

My dearest Ella,

Don't take credit for things you didn't do.

Never, ever take credit for something you didn't do, and be gracious in your praise.

I was a leader for your mom's Girl Scout troop along with another mother. Whenever we'd meet with other leaders, my co-leader would take credit for everything we'd accomplished as a troop. Everything was her idea and happened because she made it happen. It was all about her, never about the troop. While she certainly had a role in the accomplishments, she didn't act alone.

Once, she took credit for planning a day for the girls to volunteer at the local soup kitchen. I was so mad because a scout's mother had planned the event and worked really hard pulling it all together. So I said to my coleader, "Don't you feel bad taking credit for something you didn't do?" She didn't know what to say. I'm not even sure she realized how much she did this, but I noticed her use of _I_ became _We_.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 90

My dearest Ella,

Be patient.

Not one of your attributes, I know. But try anyway. Be patient with yourself and others.

You grew up in a world where everything was instant. If you wanted popcorn to eat, you simply threw a bag in the microwave. If you were hungry for a burger and fries, you could get it quickly—and not even have to get out of your car—by going to a fast-food joint. If you were shopping and wanted to check movie times, you just tapped on a phone app.

I think all this fastness has made you, and many others, more impatient. When things don't happen as quickly as you think they should, you become agitated. But life isn't always instant this or quick that. Life is often slow, and for good reasons. Work on becoming more patient, so you'll be a happier person, and those around you will, too.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 91

My dearest Ella,

Find that inner child.

Swing. Kick a soccer ball. Play a game. Make up a story. Sometimes, it's just fun to be a kid again.

I always admired Maddie for her playfulness. If there was ever a child living inside of an adult, it's Maddie. I hope you can follow her example and sometimes, even when you're old and gray like me, the kid in you will come out and make you laugh and smile.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 92

My dearest Ella,

There's no such thing as a bad hair day. At least you have hair.

Whenever I'm on the verge of complaining about my hair, I stop. I remember Mrs. Hoover who lost all of hers and wore wigs most of her life. Some days your hair will look great. Some days it won't. When it doesn't, wear a hat.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 93

My dearest Ella,

Practice makes perfect.

Remember when you wanted to play the flute and you promised to practice every day? In the beginning, you did. But over time, you practiced less and less. You never became very good, did you? Eventually, you stopped playing all together.

I don't care if it's playing a musical instrument, a sport, cooking, sewing, writing, or drawing—you won't become good at something if you don't work at it. Natural talent only takes you so far, the rest is up to you. There's no getting around it, Ella. Practice makes perfect. Plain and simple.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 94

My dearest Ella,

Try mixing up your routine, such as having pizza for breakfast and pancakes for dinner.

Sometimes, we get bored with life. We do, or eat, or whatever the same thing over and over. Mix things up. Doing something unexpected can be fun.

Remember the time we had the backward day? We stayed up all night and slept during the day. We went grocery shopping at two in the morning. The world sure looked different when our normal day became our night and vice versa.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 95

My dearest Ella,

Don't take yourself too seriously.

Seriously, Ella. Sometimes, you just have to laugh at your quirky self.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 96

My dearest Ella,

Say hello first.

I can't tell you how many times I've surprised a stranger by saying hello. Many people don't expect this. Some people, when you approach them, look down at the ground to avoid eye contact. Those are the ones I especially like to surprise with a hello. It forces them to look up and acknowledge the greeting.

One of my pet peeves is always having to say hello first, when I see someone I know. This used to happen at work with a particular woman. She never said hello first. But every day, I made sure I said hello to her. This went on for years and years. When she retired, she thanked me for being so friendly. So I guess my hellos were appreciated even though I was never sure they were.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 97

My dearest Ella,

Sometimes, a drawing says it all.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 98

My dearest Ella,

Follow through on promises.

Every promise I've ever made to you I kept. I'm hoping you'll do the same. If you promise someone something, deliver on that promise. Don't make promises unless you're sure you can keep them. You'll be judged not on the promises you make, but on those you keep. So keep your word.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 99

My dearest Ella,

Be honest with yourself.

This might sound easy to do, but I don't think it is. Be introspective and admit, at least to yourself, your shortcomings. If you can be honest with yourself, you can use what you learn to become a better person. It takes courage to be honest with yourself. We don't always like what we find and change can be difficult.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 100

My dearest Ella,

I can't believe I've reached the one hundredth note. I'm not even half way, but I'm not giving up. I'm determined to finish these notes for you. I want you to have one each day. Remember Note # 86: Tenacity is a great thing, Ella, especially when you're trying to achieve a goal. A persistent person often prevails. Onward!

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 101

My dearest Ella,

Be organized, but not obsessive about it.

I'm not suggesting you become like me. I know I'm way too organized for you. But some organization is good. If you have a file for charge card receipts, for example, you know where to find them if you have a question about your monthly statement. Organization leads to efficiency and the more efficient you are the more time you have to spend on the things you love.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 102

My dearest Ella,

Show your appreciation.

When someone does something for you, I hope you show your appreciation, whether it's through kind words or a note. These days, I think people are surprised when they receive a hand-written note. But I find the extra time it takes to write and send a note is worth the warmth it brings and the impression it leaves.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 103

My dearest Ella,

Don't stay mad. Get over it and move on.

Staying angry doesn't help anyone. If you're upset with someone, talk to him or her about it. Hopefully you can work things out.

Maddie's dad was angry at his father for something that happened when her dad was in his late teens. Maddie never knew what had happened to make her dad so angry. All she knew was that her dad wanted nothing to do with her grandfather.

The more time that passed, the more difficult it became for her dad and grandfather to make things right between them. So many years had passed, and I think they both eventually forgot what had started the fight in the first place. All they remembered was that they were mad at each other.

What's really a shame is that they died without reconciling. What a terrible tragedy to go through life and keep all that anger bottled up inside. Nothing can be that terrible that two people can't sit down and talk about it.

Don't let anger become a cancer that destroys relationships. Life is far too short.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 104

My dearest Ella,

Set goals.

It's good to have things you want to achieve. It gives you something to work toward. But make sure the goals are realistic ones—slightly out of your grasp, but not so far away that you'd never be able to accomplish them.

For example, I can't draw or paint so I'd never have a goal to become an artist. But I enjoy walking so I might have a goal to walk thirty minutes each day. Keep track of your progress so you know how far you've come and how far you have to go.

Every January first, I'd make a list of goals for the upcoming year. They weren't resolutions, but things I wanted to accomplish. My list might include painting the bathroom, or buying a new sofa, or planting a vegetable garden. It was rewarding when I accomplished a goal, and I could cross it off my list.

Have goals, Ella, so you are constantly moving forward and looking ahead.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 105

My dearest Ella,

Be a gracious loser.

No one likes to lose, but when you do, do it with grace. Don't throw a fit or yell or cry. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. That's life.

Besides, if we won all of the time, we wouldn't appreciate it nearly as much.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 106

My dearest Ella,

Have faith.

It's difficult for people to believe in something they can't touch, or taste, or feel, or smell, or hear. But that's what faith is all about. It's believing in something, Ella, even when you can't do any of these things. I pray you'll always have faith and that it never wavers when bad things happen and life isn't all that you want—or think—it should be.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 107

My dearest Ella,

Watch an old movie.

Remember all of the Sunday afternoons we spent watching old movies? My favorite was _Gone with the Wind_ , and you loved _The Wizard of Oz_. I hope that, like Dorothy, you realize the things you want most can often be found in your own backyard.

Get lost in an old movie and remember all of the Sundays we spent in front of the TV together.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 108

My dearest Ella,

Be tolerant of others.

There is so much intolerance in the world, Ella. Be tolerant of those who think and feel differently. Tolerance doesn't mean you have to agree with them. It means you're allowing them to think and feel the way they do without them feeling less of a person because of it.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 109

My dearest Ella,

Listen to other viewpoints.

I don't think people listen enough to one another. If someone's opinion differs from theirs, they tune them out.

It's okay to have a different viewpoint than someone else. What's not okay is thinking your viewpoint is the only viewpoint and refusing to listen to others who might see the world in a different light. You might be surprised how often someone says something that hadn't occurred to you. But you'll never discover this if you don't listen.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 110

My dearest Ella,

Be a good neighbor.

Good neighbors are priceless! I've been blessed by having great neighbors all of my life. Be a good neighbor, Ella. Don't play your music or your TV too loudly, or drive too fast through the neighborhood. Wave, and smile, and talk to your neighbors. If they need help, help them. If you don't see them for a while, check on them. Be generous and thoughtful. Together you form a support system and the type of nurturing and supportive community you want to be a part of.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 111

My dearest Ella,

Don't be afraid to stand out in the crowd.

One of the things I've always loved about Emily is that she's never been afraid to stand out in a crowd. My gosh, just think of how many times she's changed her hair color! I admire her self-confidence and willingness to be who she is—pink hair and all.

Don't be afraid to stand out in the crowd, Ella. I'm not suggesting you color your hair pink. I'm suggesting that if you want to dye your hair pink, you don't let what someone else thinks stop you. Don't be afraid of marching to the beat of your own drum.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 112

My dearest Ella,

Believe in miracles.

It's sad that some people don't believe in miracles. Miracles happen every day. Don't allow cynics to persuade you otherwise.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 113

My dearest Ella,

Even in the rain, I hope you find the sun.

I remember when you were little and you begged me to allow you to dance in the rain. You wanted to run through the puddles in your bare feet and catch raindrops on your tongue. I finally gave in and out you went.

I stood on the front porch and took a picture of you having a ball in the pouring rain. I loved that picture. It's why I put it in the locket I gave you. I hope when it rains in your life, you'll be able to find the sun.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 114

My dearest Ella,

Some things you can't change.

I spent too much time in my life trying to change things that couldn't be changed. Accept the things you can't change, Ella, and make the best of them.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 115

My dearest Ella,

STOP!

Sometimes you just have to stop what you're doing and listen to your heart. There's so much noise in the world that sometimes it's hard to hear. When life gets too chaotic and you feel torn in many directions at once, stop and listen.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 116

My dearest Ella,

Hug a friend.

You know I'm a hugger. Always have been. Everyone needs a hug every now and then. So today, make sure you hug at least one friend and let him or her know you care. Hugs and kisses to you always, Ella.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 117

My dearest Ella,

When you teach, you learn.

Some of my best learning happened while I was teaching others. It was always a welcomed surprise when this happened. You never know all there is to know and often when you're teaching others they're teaching you.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 118

My dearest Ella,

Praise others.

When I was in junior high school, I knew a girl who bragged all of the time about everything she did. I'm telling you, Ella, I never met anyone more self-absorbed. She praised herself so much I thought she'd lose her voice. She never ever praised anyone else. Everything was always about her.

One time, a student saved another student choking in the cafeteria. Everyone praised Brad Martin for reacting so quickly—everyone except Margaret the Mouth. She insisted she was the hero because she gave a how-to speech in English about the Heimlich maneuver a few weeks before. She couldn't even let Brad bask in the spotlight, even though he could care less about that. Finally, Maddie told her off. "Next thing you know," Maddie shouted, "you'll claim you created the world."

When other people do something good, make sure you praise them.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 119

My dearest Ella,

Be a good team player.

I've always loved being a part of a group, working together to achieve a goal. When you're part of a team, you learn to work with others who might have different views or ideas about how something should be done. Every member of a team is important, Ella. Each person brings his or her own set of skills, and experiences, and knowledge.

Be a good team member. Listen to others and learn from them. A team can often accomplish more than an individual.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 120

My dearest Ella,

Be careful of the marks you leave behind.

I've sat in the same pew at church for as long as I can remember. There are scratch marks on the back made by my father's suspenders. He sat in this spot until he died and the marks are a lasting reminder.

When I think about the scratch marks, I think about the marks we leave in life—some good, some bad. It reminds me to live life thoughtfully because we never know when we might leave a mark that might be harmful. We are powerful in that way, Ella, whether we realize it or not. Understand and don't abuse that power.

How many times have we left marks that have hurt people? I once had a teacher who said something cruel, and I've never forgotten it. Decades have passed and her words still sting. That's the power of the marks we leave behind. Like the pew, the scratch is always there. We might be able to sand it and apply new stain, but it remains underneath. It's what we do with the marks in our life that count. Use them to make us better, and stronger, and wiser.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 121

My dearest Ella,

In order to finish the race, you have to start.

The hardest part of achieving a goal is often taking the first step. I remember how difficult it was when I wanted to lose weight. I knew what I needed to do, but it was tough getting started. Whenever you feel like this, just put one foot in front of the other and remember you can't finish something you never start. So GO!

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 122

My dearest Ella,

It's not about winning or losing, but how you play the game that's important.

I know there are a lot of people who'd disagree with me on this one. And that's okay. We're all entitled to our opinions, right?

I'll never forget the day you helped a player from the opposing soccer team. You were eight at the time and playing defense, and this little girl was handicapped and put in for the final minutes of the game. She had the ball and it was your job to get the ball. But you stopped when you realized she was handicapped and struggling. Instead of stealing the ball, you encouraged her. The goalie saw what you'd done and she, too, encouraged the girl to score.

You most certainly could've taken that ball from her, but you didn't. I've never been more proud. Of course, your team won the game, but your act of kindness was the real victory. You made a difference in that little girl's life and gave her a moment she might never forget.

Life is a game, Ella, and you'll be judged on how you play that game. Play it with compassion and thoughtfulness. You might not always win, but you can be proud of the way you played.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 123

My dearest Ella,

Embrace all people.

I'll never forget the time I picked you up at nursery school. Your mother had a doctor's appointment, and I was filling in. You couldn't wait to tell me about your new friend. "He's brown," you said. We talked about all the different colors people could be. You insisted on pink! I took a green apple and a red apple and showed you that even though they had different colored skins, they were the same inside. And then we smothered peanut butter on the apple slices and ate them. I hope you never forget the apple lesson and embrace all people, no matter their color, or religion, or background.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 124

My dearest Ella,

Don't be afraid to change course.

Just because you start down one path doesn't mean you need to stay on that path. I've seen people stick to a particular course and be miserable. Don't be afraid to choose another path if the one you're on doesn't bring you happiness. Figure out the path that's right for you.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 125

My dearest Ella,

Be generous with compliments.

You'd be surprised the difference a few kind words can make. I think you can find something in everyone to compliment. Maybe they have a nice smile, or beautiful nails, or were helpful in some way. A compliment is a present that doesn't cost any money, but is often much more valuable than anything you could've bought.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 126

My dearest Ella,

Make the best of what you have.

After your parents died and you came to live with me, I was sad because I wanted to give you so many things, and I couldn't afford to. I always tried to make the best out of what I had. So maybe I couldn't afford to take you to the movies, but we'd rent movies and make our own popcorn. And maybe I couldn't give you a birthday party at one of those fancy places like all of the other kids had, but I had one at home and we had fun making the invitations, and food, and decorating. You might not ever have all that you want, Ella. But make the most of what you do have. Chances are you'll find you have more than you thought you did.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 127

My dearest Ella,

Don't waste your talents.

We all have talents, Ella. Sometimes it's hard to see what they are. Maybe your talent is writing, or painting, or counseling others. Whatever your talents might be, I hope you find them and use them to make a difference in the world.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 128

My dearest Ella,

Sometimes, you just have to eat a cream-filled doughnut and not feel guilty about it.

Everyone needs to splurge every now and then. When you do, don't let guilt spoil it. Enjoy a cream-filled doughnut and leave the calorie counting for another day.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 129

My dearest Ella,

Be open to constructive criticism.

No one likes being told they did something wrong or could do something better. But be open to constructive criticism. Before reacting, consider the feedback to see if it has merit. I've found when I'm open to constructive criticism as opposed to being defensive about it my work improves. You should want people to challenge you because it forces you to evaluate and make changes if necessary.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 130

My dearest Ella,

Don't judge a person by his or her appearance.

I've been telling you this since you were a little girl. It's hard not to look at a homeless person and immediately form an opinion, but I hope I've taught you not to do this. That person who looks homeless sitting on a bench in the square might be a millionaire and that good-looking boy in your math class might be the biggest jerk around. Enough said.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 131

My dearest Ella,

Be a good friend.

I've always admired your friendship with Emily. The two of you remind me of Maddie and me when we were your age. There's nothing quite like having a good friend. Someone to share things with. Someone who'll keep your secrets, tell you the truth—even when they know it'll hurt—and stick up for you no matter what. Someone who's supportive when you have bad news and when you have good news. Be the kind of friend you'd want to have.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 132

My dearest Ella,

Have clear objectives and stay focused.

One of the keys to success is identifying what you want to accomplish and staying focused on accomplishing it. Think about all of the people who want to lose weight and pack the gym right after the new year begins. A few weeks later, they're nowhere to be found. They didn't maintain their focus and keep their eyes on their goal. Know what you want and maintain your focus and you'll get there.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 133

My dearest Ella,

It occurred to me while I was writing these notes that there are probably things about me you don't know. So every so often I'll include a note about your old grandma.

One of the stupidest things I've ever done was forgetting to put the garage door up before backing out. Uh-oh! Cost me one thousand dollars to replace that dang door. So learn from your old grandma, double check and make sure the garage door is up before backing out.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 134

My dearest Ella,

Take the time to mentor others.

I've always appreciated when others took the time to help me. I know you're very fond of your English teacher, Ms. Ort, because she's been so helpful to you. Remember what Ms. Ort has done for you and take the time to help others. Pay it forward and it'll make you feel great.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 135

My dearest Ella,

Don't be afraid to ask for help.

If you need help, ask. Most people are glad to help if they can, and if they can't, they'll lead you to someone who can. Don't let your pride stand in the way of asking for help. No one expects you to go through life and figure everything out on your own. So ask for help when you need it and accept help graciously when offered.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 136

My dearest Ella,

Don't be jealous of others.

It's probably natural to look around, and see what everyone else has, and feel a tinge of jealousy. But beware. Jealousy can destroy relationships. Let's say your friend gets a new job before you even though you started your job search first. Instead of being jealous, try to be happy for your friend. It's easy to support a friend when something bad happens, harder to support them when something good happens. Don't let jealousy get in the way.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 137

My dearest Ella,

Not everything is black or white.

I probably hated math because there was only one correct answer. And most of the time, I got it wrong. Fortunately, most of life isn't like math. Life is rarely black or white. It includes varying shades of gray. And it's the shades that add dimension and makes life more interesting.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 138

My dearest Ella,

Think outside the box.

People who think outside the box can change the world.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 139

My dearest Ella,

Whistle your favorite tune.

Remember when I taught you to whistle? You'd practice for hours. You were amazed you could make music with your mouth. You had a tune you'd whistle over and over. I don't know the title, but I'm sure you remember. Whistle that tune now.

It'll show you there are some things you never forget and that when you learn a skill, you learn it for life. That doesn't mean you don't get rusty, but you know how to do it. Then it's just a matter of practicing.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 140

My dearest Ella,

When you can, give back to the community.

I hope when it comes to helping the community, I've been a good example. Ever since you were big enough, you helped with our church charity auction. Just think, we've raised tens of thousands of dollars for the food bank and you were a part of that. You helped people, who were unsure of where their next meal would come from, put food on their tables.

Remember always that you're a part of a community and to help that community in any way you can. A community is more than just rows of homes. It's people who care and help one another because they understand that doing so makes the community a better place for everyone to live.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 141

My dearest Ella,

I was just at lunch with Maddie and a man sitting next to us ate a hamburger and chewed with his mouth open. Do others a favor and NEVER EVER chew with your mouth open. I taught you better than that.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 142

My dearest Ella,

You have a lot to learn.

When I was seventeen, I thought I knew everything there was to know. I certainly knew more than my parents, who didn't seem to understand me at all.

I'm not sure how old I was, maybe mid-twenties, when I realized how smart my parents actually were. I know no one could've told me this before. I had to learn it on my own, just as I'm guessing you will. But believe me when I tell you, you don't know everything. Maddie knows quite a lot and she'll be there to guide you if you let her. I'm asking you to let her. And when you're a twenty-something, don't forget to tell Maddie how little you really did know when you were seventeen. I think she'd appreciate that.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 143

My dearest Ella,

When you come to a wall, climb over it.

Do you remember watching a movie about a woman going into the military? She was in basic training and had to climb over a tall wall on an obstacle course. She failed time and again, but she never stopped trying. Eventually, she made it over the wall.

When you come to a wall in life, climb over it. It might not happen the first time. Or the second or third. But it will happen if you don't give up.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 144

My dearest Ella,

Take care of your teeth.

I'm happy to say that I don't have dentures. I know a lot of women my age who do. And I often hear them say they wish they'd taken better care of their teeth. Take care of yours. Brush and floss daily, and get regular check-ups. You have beautiful teeth, so keep them that way. I didn't spend all that money on braces for nothing, young lady.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 145

My dearest Ella,

Pay attention to what people don't say.

Ever notice how much people say when they say nothing at all? A sigh. A long pause. A stare. Silence can speak loudly. Being aware of this can help, especially when it comes to having difficult conversations.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 146

My dearest Ella,

Be a good steward of the environment.

We only have one world, so each of us should do our part in taking care of it. Don't waste water. Recycle what you can. Reuse when you're able. Don't litter or dump things where things aren't to be dumped. If everyone does his or her part, the world will be cleaner for all of us.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 147

My dearest Ella,

Trust your instincts.

Listen to the little voice inside of you that tells you something isn't quite right or maybe you shouldn't do this or that. If you ignore the voice, you're probably going to be sorry. If you follow your instincts, you can't go wrong.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 148

My dearest Ella,

Find the Big Dipper in the night sky.

The first time I found the Big Dipper, I was so excited. I was at church camp with Maddie and we had a stargazing event. When I got older, I stopped looking for the Big Dipper. Why, I couldn't tell you. It just sort of happened.

The world is a marvelous creation and sometimes it's good to remind ourselves of this. On a clear night, do me a favor and find the Big Dipper in the night sky. We live in a beautiful world.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 149

My dearest Ella,

Read a Dr. Seuss book.

When you were little, I read Dr. Seuss books to you over and over. Even before you could read, you had memorized the books and would know if I skipped a word or two on a particular page.

The other day I came across a box in my closet containing these books. I'd saved them all. I was flooded with sweet memories as I turned the pages, filled with crayon doodles and stained with peanut butter and jelly. Read a Dr. Seuss book and I hope you, too, are flooded by rich memories.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 150

My dearest Ella,

Drive safely.

I once got a speeding ticket because I wasn't paying attention to how fast I was going. I was too busy looking at horses in a pasture. Before I knew it, there were flashing lights behind me. I was completely flustered. It was the first and last time I ever got a ticket. I learned my lesson and the one hundred and twenty two dollar fine broke my budget.

Be a safe driver, Ella. So many kids these days have the music too loud, or are on their phones, or doing any number of stupid things that take their mind and eyes off the road. Keep your eyes on the road and watch the volume of your music. Things can go wrong quickly if you're not careful.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 151

My dearest Ella,

Write your worries on pieces of paper and rip them up.

A friend suggested I do this once and it really helped. You know how much I worry about everything. Well, when I find myself worrying so much that it's affecting my life, I write my worries down on pieces of paper. One worry per piece. Then I tear the pieces of paper into tiny bits and throw them away. I always feel better afterward. Try this with your worries and see if it helps.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 152

My dearest Ella,

Lead by example.

I get so perturbed at some celebrities—whether they're professional athletes, or television or movie stars. Some of them should be ashamed of the way they behave. Don't they realize young people look up to them? Be a good role model, Ella. Lead by example. You never know when there might be a pair of eyes on you.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 153

My dearest Ella,

Give someone a present just because.

You know how much fun it is to receive a present for no special reason? The best kind of present is an unexpected one. It's like finding twenty dollars in your purse when you thought you were broke.

Brighten somebody's day and give them a present just because. It doesn't have to cost a lot. In fact, it can cost nothing but your time and talent. Remember, it's always better to give than to receive.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 154

My dearest Ella,

Here's one of those notes that are a little something about me. I hate odd numbers. I don't know why, but I do. I think I have some Horrible Herman in me, too. So, see, you're not the only person with a quirk or two. Your old grandma is right there with you. Most people have a quirk or two.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note #155

My dearest Ella,

Be prepared for anything.

Even when you think you've planned to the nth degree, be prepared for the unexpected. Believe me, it happens. Remember the time the dog jumped up and knocked down the beautiful princess birthday cake I'd made you? He had icing all over his furry face. All of your party guests were so sad because there was no birthday cake. So what did I do? I opened a box of Twinkies, arranged them to form the letter E, put candles on them and you loved it just as much. So be prepared for anything and always have Twinkies on hand.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 156

My dearest Ella,

Be thoughtful.

This is pretty simple, so I'll keep my note simple. Be thoughtful. Always. Too many people are only thoughtful when it benefits them.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 157

My dearest Ella,

Be sincere.

Being sincere doesn't mean nodding your head while someone talks. You should show you're sincere through your actions and words. If you want to help a hurting friend, for example, just don't say you're there for them. _BE_ there for them. _DO_ something for them. Your actions should support your words.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 158

My dearest Ella,

Love generously.

You have so much love to give, Ella. Don't be stingy with it. Don't worry, love never runs out. Just when you think you could never love someone else, you find it in yourself to do so. Love generously and others will love you back.

I knew someone who had a daughter and loved her to pieces. When she became pregnant with her second daughter, Catherine worried she wouldn't have enough love to go around. Would she love her second child as much as her first? She fretted. When daughter number two was born, of course Catherine realized how silly she'd been. She had more than enough love for both girls.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 159

My dearest Ella,

As you grow older, don't brood about it. At least you're here to celebrate birthdays.

I used to hate my birthday because it meant I was getting older, and I hated getting older. Maddie would always want to make a big deal out of it. She'd take me out to dinner and always bought me something she knew I really wanted but couldn't afford.

I learned too late, Ella, that birthdays are a big deal. Maddie was right. Instead of pooh-poohing my birthday, I should've been shouting for joy because it meant I was around to celebrate it.

My favorite birthday was my last one. You and Maddie made it so very special with the homemade cake. I loved going through all the photo albums and reminiscing. Your first ballet recital. The science fair competition in fifth grade where you took first place. Maddie teaching you how to drive. Thank you for everything you gave me. Raising you was like getting a birthday present every day.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 160

My dearest Ella,

Write a new ending to a favorite book.

There were some books you really liked, but you hated the endings. Write your own ending to one of these books. If you could decide on how it should end, what would you choose and why?

In a way, Ella, you're writing the book of your life. Word by word, paragraph by paragraph, chapter by chapter. You'll decide what direction the character will take, how she'll deal with obstacles or good fortune. And you and only you will decide on the book's ending.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 161

My dearest Ella,

I'm really tired today, Ella. The chemotherapy takes a lot out of me. Maddie offered to write the note for me, but I wanted it to be in my handwriting. There might come a time, however, when I'll need Maddie's help because I won't have the strength to do it myself.

So today is rough, and I can't write much. The notes might be a little shorter for a while. It depends on how I feel. But I want to say I love you. Three simple words that mean so much.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 162

My dearest Ella,

Pay your taxes on time.

I'm more tired than yesterday. Anyway, no explanation needed here. Make sure you file your taxes on time every year. It's one deadline you don't want to miss.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 163

My dearest Ella,

Tithe.

I'm trying to come up with some short reminders. Easy to write. Not long. You know how I feel about supporting the church. I hope I've taught you well.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 164

My dearest Ella,

Take Communion regularly.

Remember this sacrament and the importance of taking it regularly.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 165

My dearest Ella,

Follow the Ten Commandments. Do you remember them?

1. Do not worship other gods.

2. Do not worship idols.

3. Do not misuse God's name.

4. Keep the Sabbath holy.

5. Honor your father and mother.

6. Do not murder.

7. Do not commit adultery.

8. Do not steal.

9. Do not lie.

10. Do not covet.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 166

My dearest Ella,

Don't drink too much soda.

You drink way too much soda, Ella. Try to drink more water. Water is better for you.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 167

My dearest Ella,

Don't abuse alcohol or drugs.

They ruin your body and your mind.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 168

My dearest Ella,

Get enough sleep.

I guess sleep is on my mind because I've been so tired lately. But sleep is important, especially for a young girl. Make sure you're well rested, so you can do your best in school, Ella. I know how irritable you get when you're tired. You can be a cranky-pants. But I love you just the same.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 169

My dearest Ella,

Don't gossip.

There are some people who enjoy hearing bad things about other people and repeating them. They fail to see the damage their gossiping causes. Gossip hurts people. It can destroy friendships and families. Whenever you find yourself about to say something negative about someone, stop. This world's a tough enough place to live in without adding to another's miseries.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 170

My dearest Ella,

Learn First Aid and CPR.

I was glad I took a First Aid and CPR class at the Red Cross. I hoped I'd never need it, but I wanted to be prepared if I did. Thank goodness, I never had to do CPR, but the first aid stuff came in handy a time or two. Knowing what to do in an emergency helps ease the anxiety if there is one.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 171

My dearest Ella,

Beware of credit cards. Never charge more than you can pay and always pay your bill in full each month.

So many people, young and old, charge more than they can afford. They don't realize how fast the debt adds up. When their monthly statement comes, they owe more than they can pay. So they pay a little and carry over the balance. But that little turns into a lot because now they're paying interest on what they owe. It's a crazy cycle and pulls them deeper and deeper into debt. Don't get caught in this cycle, Ella.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 172

My dearest Ella,

Keep your word.

If you value your word, you'll keep it. At least every time you can. There'll be times when you can't keep your word because something comes up unexpectedly. But if you can, you should, even if you don't feel like it. When you find yourself unable to keep your word, all of the times you did will help soften the blow.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 173

My dearest Ella,

Volunteer.

I think some of the best times I had with you and Maddie were the times we volunteered at the soup kitchen. We served dozens of homeless folks who were grateful for warm bread and a tasty bowl of hot soup. Even when you don't have a lot yourself, it feels good to help others. I hope you'll find opportunities to volunteer and make the world a better place.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 174

My dearest Ella,

Have hobbies.

I think it's good to have hobbies, Ella, whether it's reading, or writing, or sewing, or singing. Hobbies allow us to relax and enjoy life so that when it comes time to work, we have the energy to succeed even when it's difficult. If you're really lucky, your hobby becomes your job. You get to do what you love all of the time. Some people are just that fortunate. I hope you're one of them.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 175

My dearest Ella,

Don't make assumptions.

When I first saw your grandfather, it was at the fair. I watched as he bought two ice-cream cones and handed one to a girl standing beside him. When I bumped into him later, I asked where his girlfriend was. "She's not my girlfriend," he said. "She's my cousin."

I learned never to assume anything. Believe me when I tell you things aren't always what they seem.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 176

My dearest Ella,

Reward yourself.

Every once in a while it's good to reward yourself for hard work and a job well done. It doesn't have to be something big. It could be something as small as a book or one of those fancy iced coffees you like. Establishing a reward for yourself will encourage you to stick to the task even when it becomes difficult.

I told myself when I reached my goal of losing ten pounds I'd buy the book I'd been wanting to read. I worked hard at losing those ten pounds and the day I achieved my goal, I bought that book. I think I enjoyed reading it even more because the book was a reward for all my hard work.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 177

My dearest Ella,

Agree to disagree.

There'll be times when you'll disagree with friends. Don't become angry, or defensive, or try to get them to think and feel the way you do. We're all different and entitled to our own thoughts and feelings. When these moments occur, simply agree to disagree and move on. This is the mature thing to do.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 178

My dearest Ella,

Be a good communicator.

Healthy relationships rely on good communication. When it breaks down, so do the relationships. Be a good communicator. When you're upset about something, talk about it. Don't hold it inside until you explode. When you want someone to do something, tell them. Don't assume they know or can read your mind. It amazes me how much is lost because people don't talk to one another. Talk, Ella, and your relationships will be healthier.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 179

My dearest Ella,

Invest time in your friends and family.

Relationships require an investment of time. If you care about these relationships, Ella, you'll take the time. You'll find the more time you invest, the more fulfilling those relationships will be.

I knew a woman who was too busy pursuing her career that she never spent time with family and friends. When she achieved her dream and landed the job she wanted, she was all alone. She had no one to share it with.

Take time for family and friends. The more you give, the more you get back.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 180

My dearest Ella,

Mean what you say and say what you mean.

Pretty straight forward, I know, but you would be amazed by how often this doesn't happen. Clarity is a wonderful thing.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 181

My dearest Ella,

Attitude is everything.

Maddie took me to chemo today and I met this wonderful young girl, Sarah—she couldn't have been more than twenty seven. She had such a great attitude. She was so positive. I felt better just sitting next to her.

She told me about her son, who'd just started saying Mum, Mum, and about her husband, who she'd met in a college chemistry class. They were lab partners. We talked about many things, and I was amazed a girl so young could be so wise. It reminded me that we all have bad stuff happen to us. It's how we deal with the bad stuff that counts.

The older I get the more I realize attitude is everything. You might have talent and knowledge. Perhaps you're even gifted. But it's your attitude that'll make the difference between winning and losing, between persevering and giving up.

Sarah is fighting for her life. She's determined to see her baby boy become a man. I know she's scared, but she has hope. And hope, Ella, can make all of the difference.

Sarah's attitude was certainly contagious and just the reminder I needed on I day I was feeling particularly blue.

So when bad things happen, as they surely will, remember Sarah.

Find good in bad, success in failure, joy in sorrow, life in death.

You control your attitude. Make it a positive one and you'll find even the darkest days become a little brighter.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma
* * *

Note # 182

My dearest Ella,

Don't forget the big picture.

Often in life we get caught up in little things and fail to see the big things. I've certainly been guilty of this. I'll never forget the time you came home with an interim math report. Your average was something like ninety four, but I noticed you received a zero for a homework assignment because you didn't do it. I scolded you about getting the zero and you became angry because I failed to recognize the bigger picture, that your average was ninety four percent. I don't approve of you not doing homework, but I could've reacted a little more rationally given your overall grade.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 183

My dearest Ella,

Run barefoot through the grass.

It's getting warmer. Time for flip-flips and Frisbees, picnics and parties. I love summer best. One of my favorite things is running through the grass in bare feet. I love how the blades tickle my toes. Do me a favor, Ella, and run bare foot through the grass and think of me. Feel the spongy ground and the tickly blades. Running bare foot always made me feel alive.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 184

My dearest Ella,

Be spontaneous sometimes.

Some of the best moments of my life happened because I was spontaneous. I did something I hadn't planned and had a wonderful time. Once, Maddie and I, nearly twenty, decided to go to the beach. We left at midnight and were on the beach by six the next morning. We had so much fun. Planning is good, but sometimes we can plan too much. Sometimes it's fun to let go and see where you end up.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 185

My dearest Ella,

Learn to say no.

One of the hardest things I had to learn was how to say no. I always wanted to help everyone with everything. At one time, I was church council secretary, PTO treasurer, Sunday school teacher, youth group leader, room mother, and Girl Scout leader. I found myself being over committed with no time for the two most important people in my life—you and Maddie. I had to learn I couldn't do everything. You can't either, Ella. Pick and choose a few things to become involved in. If you don't, you might find yourself resenting all of your activities because of how they're affecting your personal life. It's okay to say no.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 186

My dearest Ella,

Write down one thing you are thankful for each day.

I did this a few years ago and was amazed at all of the things I was thankful for. When I started, I was afraid I'd run out of things, but I ended up having many more than three hundred and sixty five. Try it sometime. You'll see how blessed you are.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 187

My dearest Ella,

Find healthy ways to vent your stress.

We all get stressed from time to time. Find healthy ways to deal with your stress, whether it's exercising, reading, or enjoying a hobby. What you don't want to do is let your stress build up and cause health problems.

I once had a boss who ate antacid tablets like they were candy. It took a mild heart attack to make him realize what he was doing to his body. He started biking and swimming, and became a completely different person. The exercise helped him deal with his stress.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 188

My dearest Ella,

Know the difference between wants and needs.

There are things that you need and things that you want. Sometimes they're the same, but often not. If you're like me, you want far more things than you need. It's just human nature.

Why, just the other day I bought a pair of black shoes I definitely didn't need. I have several pairs in my closet, but I really wanted them because they had this cute button on the side.

Know the difference between wants and needs, and be honest with yourself. This will help you make the best choice for your budget. In my case, I splurged and bought the shoes knowing I didn't need them, but had the extra money to indulge. Besides, they were on sale for half the original price.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 189

My dearest Ella,

Before getting into the shower, check to make sure the shampoo is there.

There's nothing worse than being in the shower, head wet, ready to douse on the shampoo and, uh oh, there's no shampoo. So you get out of the shower, drip, drip, drip across the bathroom floor to get shampoo and drip, drip, drip back again. What a mess!

It's much easier when getting a shower—and figuratively speaking, life in general—to make sure you have what you need. Yes, you can always improvise if you need to. I certainly could've used the soap for the shampoo. But if you plan and check, it makes the shower—and life—go much smoother.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 190

My dearest Ella,

Another round of chemo. I hate that just when I start to feel a little better it's time for another treatment. My notes will be short. Hope you understand.

Don't overeat.

I always end up feeling crappy afterward when I do this.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 191

My dearest Ella,

Change the batteries in your smoke detectors every year.

I usually do it in October.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 192

My dearest Ella,

Don't neglect your car's maintenance.

Don't put off oil changes, tire rotations, etc. Take care of your car so it lasts a long time.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 193

My dearest Ella,

Wear sunscreen.

Take care of your skin and make sure you protect it from the sun.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 194

My dearest Ella,

Always turn the lights off when leaving a room—and unplug the toaster.

Another practical note but an important one. I read a news story once about a fire that was caused by a toaster left plugged in. Thank goodness, no one was home at the time.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 195

My dearest Ella,

Tried to write today. Just too tired. Drew instead.

We're the best part of each other, Ella.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 196

My dearest Ella,

Be a defensive driver.

From the minute you got your driver's license I worried about you driving. Please, be careful and watch out for others on the road.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 197

My dearest Ella,

Buy quality.

You know I always say you get what you pay for. Paying more for something is worth it if it's better quality. Remember the cheap sofa I bought? It didn't last long. I should've spent more and bought a better sofa. The cheap sofa ended up costing me more because I had to replace it sooner than I would've if I had bought the better furniture.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 198

My dearest Ella,

Enjoy your food.

I wish I had my old appetite back and food tasted better. Everything seems to have a metallic taste these days. So this is a reminder to enjoy your food.

Imagine if you couldn't taste or smell? I read about a woman who'd lost both senses and what she missed most was being able to smell her baby after giving him a bath. Such a little thing that most of us take for granted.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 199

My dearest Ella,

When someone is hurting, don't ask how you can help. Just help.

I can't tell you how much I appreciated when friends helped without being asked. If someone is hurting or needs help, just jump in and help.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 200

My dearest Ella,

I can't believe I'm at note two hundred. I really am determined to finish these letters, Ella. I know my handwriting is a little sloppy and my notes a little short sometimes, but I know you know I'm doing the best I can.

And doing the best you can is all anyone can ask for. I never expected you to be brilliant in math or be a star on the basketball team. But I did expect you to try your best in each and everything you did.

You might not always be first or best, and that's okay. What's not okay is not giving it everything you've got.

Just like I'm doing now with these letters.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 201

My dearest Ella,

Motivate and help others to do good work.

I ran into your old algebra teacher today at the pharmacy. You loved Mrs. Plato's class, not because you loved math but because you loved how positive and encouraging she was. Mrs. Plato was one of those teachers who truly made a difference in her students' lives. You can make a difference, too, Ella, by encouraging and helping others do their best work.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 202

My dearest Ella,

Love without holding back.

When you find the perfect person and you know in your heart he's the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, love freely and completely. Don't hold back because you're afraid to take chances. Love always involves risks, Ella, but it's worth it.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 203

My dearest Ella,

Sometimes in order for new doors to open, you need to close old ones.

Maddie told me about this young teacher, I think her name was Jenna, who was engaged. About a month before her wedding, Jenna's fiancé called it off. He'd fallen for another woman, leaving Jenna devastated. It took her a long time, but Jenna was eventually able to move on, but only after she closed that door.

And then a funny thing happened. Jenna met a fellow teacher. His classroom was down the hall from hers. He was there every day, but Jenna didn't _see_ him until she'd closed that old door and healed. And once she had, a new life began. They started dating and eventually married, and today they're the proud parents of a two-year-old girl. Oh how I love happy endings like that. Don't let old doors hang open, Ella. Close them. Or slam them shut (smiles).

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 204

My dearest Ella,

When everyone turns to the right, turn to the left.

Sometimes, we find surprises when we choose the path fewer take. And I know how you love surprises.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 205

My dearest Ella,

Understand that everybody wants to be somebody. They want to matter.

I truly feel everyone wants to be needed. Remember that time we were volunteering at the soup kitchen downtown and the homeless woman wanted to clean tables and sweep the floor? She wanted to help and longed to feel needed. She was so happy she was able to do something. It made her feel good about herself. Give others the opportunity to feel this way and my guess is you'll feel this way, too.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 206

My dearest Ella,

Try walking in someone else's shoes.

This always reminds me of the youth group activity you did. Remember that? The time you and the others built cardboard shelters and spent the cold night outside. You all bundled up with blankets and wore layers of clothing, hats, and mittens. It was quite an eye-opener for you.

I think most times in life, someone always has it worse than you. Think of the blind, at least you can see. Think of the deaf, at least you can hear. When you try walking in someone else's shoes, you realize how good the ones you're walking in are.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 207

My dearest Ella,

When someone says something can't be done, show them it can.

I hate naysayers. Some people can't help but be negative. Prove them wrong, Ella.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 208

My dearest Ella,

Some things are just common sense.

When I was a young mother, I worried constantly I was doing everything right. I remember I was giving your mother her first bath, and I taped instructions on the bathroom mirror. My mother walked in. She could tell I was nervous and worried. She took down the instructions, crumpled the paper into a ball, and threw it out.

"Some things are just common sense," she said. "Follow your instincts and you won't go wrong."

That was probably the best advice my mother ever gave me and now I'm passing it on to you.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 209

My dearest Ella,

Do something nice for the last person in line.

I think this is just a fun thing to do, so I'm throwing in it here. I love the look on the person's face when they receive an unexpected gift. Once, I was the first in line for a free Christmas ornament my favorite department store was giving out on Black Friday. I turned around and caught the eye of the last person in line. I motioned for her to walk up to me and I let her take my place in line and I went to the back of the line. The store had a limited supply, and I wasn't sure I'd get one if I changed places with her. But I received a greater gift that day—the look on that woman's face. It turned out I did get an ornament, but I left the store that day with so much more.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 210

My dearest Ella,

Love your funny feet.

I know there are things you don't like about yourself. Your toes. Your ears and nose. But each person is unique, and it's this uniqueness that makes them beautiful just the way they are. Remember, too, inner beauty can't be seen, it's felt through a person's actions. Physical beauty fades, inner beauty doesn't. In fact, I'd say that inner beauty grows with the passing of years.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 211

My dearest Ella,

I'm too tired to write, so I'm going to tell Maddie what to write. I really want to finish these notes for you. They might be shorter so I can get them all done. I hope you understand.

Tell your children every day you love them.

A day never went by when I didn't tell you how much I loved you. When you have children, please, do the same. Children need to know they are loved.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 212

My dearest Ella,

Respect others.

I've always taught you to respect others, unless they don't deserve your respect. And we all know people like that.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 213

My dearest Ella,

No matter how much or how little you make, always save a little.

I've always tried to do this, and it wasn't always easy, especially when I was living paycheck to paycheck. But even then I tried to put something back. It might've only been a dollar or two, but when you don't have a lot, a dollar or two can make a difference in your weekly budget. In the end, I was glad I always saved a little something. Over time, that little something grew into a big something. Your college fund wouldn't be what it is if I hadn't done this. All of those dang pennies added up.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 214

My dearest Ella,

Worry about the things you can control, not the things you can't.

Maddie and I were just talking about this very thing and agreed we both struggle with this. But you'll be happier if you're able to not worry about the things that are out of your control. Easier said than done, I know.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 215

My dearest Ella,

Don't jump on negative bandwagons.

Stay off of these, Ella. Most of the time they are people who don't have anything else better to do than complain. They also tend to be people who blame everyone else for their problems or shortcomings. You're a better person than this. Rise above the negativity and don't join in.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 216

My dearest Ella,

Be careful when pulling weeds you don't pull flowers.

You always hated pulling weeds in the garden, Ella. Sometimes, you'd be in such a hurry to go play you'd pull an actual plant. Be careful when you pull the weeds in your life that you don't pull the flowers. Sometimes, flowers look like weeds. Be careful you don't pull something valuable.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 217

My dearest Ella,

Be flexible.

Things don't always go the way we think they will, Ella. When they don't, be flexible and go with the flow. Often, something good happens.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 218

My dearest Ella,

Conquer your fears.

Whether they're spiders or snakes, heights or tight spaces, try to conquer your fears. When you conquer them, you overcome them.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 219

My dearest Ella,

Care. Be kind.

You've always been a kind and caring person. I hope you never change.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 220

My dearest Ella,

Learn who you can trust.

You know by now you can't trust everyone. And there've been times when people you thought you could trust betrayed you. Trust is something people earn, not something that is automatically given to them. When you find people you can trust—like Maddie—you'll never ever be alone. You can trust they'll always be there.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 221

My dearest Ella,

I'm feeling a little stronger, so I'm back to writing the notes, at least until the next round of chemo starts.

Learn to live life.

When you live life, you enjoy it, embrace it, love it. Most people muddle through life. They have good days and they have bad days, and they pretty much settle for what life's dealt them. People who live life have an energy all of their own. They want to experience new things. Learn new things. Go places and meet people. They look at life as an adventure, not something to _get through_. I want you to live life, Ella. Love it and have fun.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 222

My dearest Ella,

Know when to run, and when to walk, and when to stand still.

I used to always run and then I learned how to slow down and walk. It took me a while to be able to stand still and let others pass. But do you know what, Ella? Sometimes the best thing to do in life is to stand still and let others go by. It could be it's their turn to run and not yours, their turn to get there faster than you. I hope it doesn't take you as long as it took me to learn this valuable lesson.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 223

My dearest Ella,

Pay attention to signs on the road of life.

Diana from church wanted to go to seminary. She told me how she prayed about it every day. One day she prayed for a sign. "God," she said. "If I'm supposed to follow this path, send me a sign. How about some flowers?"

She watched for the florist delivery truck all day, but it never came. After dinner, her son, Ryan, was playing in the backyard. He had picked some dandelions and ran to her. "Here, Mommy," he said. "Flowers for you."

Diana said tears filled her eyes. She'd been expecting an arrangement from the florist and instead she received _flowers_ from her three-year-old son. God had indeed sent her a sign, just not in the way she'd imagined.

I ran into Diana recently. She'll finish seminary in a couple of months and hopes to find a congregation to lead.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 224

My dearest Ella,

Recognize you have a huge amount of potential.

Believe in yourself, Ella. You're an incredible person and you have so much potential. I know you doubt this at times. Don't. Recognize you have gifts and use these gifts wisely.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 225

My dearest Ella,

Discuss problems with your partner.

I can't stress enough how important communication is. Talk, talk, talk to your partner. If you have a problem, discuss it. Your partner is there to help you and support you. Let him.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 226

My dearest Ella,

If you don't have your health, you have nothing.

Being healthy is the most important thing in the world, Ella. Whenever I'd find a penny heads up on the ground, I'd pick it up and make a wish. My wish was never to win the lottery or a new car—never owned one of these in my life. My wish was always to have good health. That was the most important thing to me. If I had good health, I knew I'd be able to take care and provide for you. Now that my health is failing, Maddie will take over one of the most important jobs I've ever had—raising you to become a loving, kind, and responsible adult.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 227

My dearest Ella,

Be committed to the things you choose to do.

You were so mad when I made you finish the soccer season when you were eight. But I wanted you to take your commitment seriously. I didn't want you starting things and not finishing them.

When you choose to do something, stay committed. Other people are counting on you. People who start and stop things never learn the value of hanging in there when things get tough and don't go as well as they'd like. Quitters never become winners.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 228

My dearest Ella,

Don't turn your head the other way.

I pulled into the department store parking lot one day and saw a lady struggling with a cane and a big bag. As I parked my car, several people passed her and not one stopped to help. By the time I parked my car and reached her, she'd dropped the bag and was crying. She was trying to make it into the store to return a set of sheets. I picked up the bag and helped her into the store.

I tell you this story not because I want accolades, but because I want it to be a reminder that when people need help, help them. Don't be like the others. Don't turn your head the other way or walk in another direction.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 229

My dearest Ella,

Being a leader means you are also capable of following when needed.

I always had great respect for my boss at the sewing factory. She was an excellent leader who cared about those she supervised. When she didn't know something, she'd ask one of us and we'd explain it to her or show her how to do it. I admired her because she wasn't above asking for help and when she received it, she was genuinely grateful. Not every leader can follow—a real shame—but those who can become better leaders because of it.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 230

My dearest Ella,

Time heals almost anything. Give yourself the gift of time.

I know you might not believe this, but it's true. When bad things happen, give yourself time to heal. It doesn't happen overnight. It might take weeks. Maybe months or even years. But it will happen.

Don't be too hard on yourself if it doesn't happen as quickly as you think it should. Everyone is different. What might be one month for one person might be four months for someone else. There's no right or wrong here. Give yourself whatever time you need.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 231

My dearest Ella,

Children should be hugged as often as possible.

I'm a hugger. Not a day went by when I didn't hug you and tell you how much I loved you. I think children should be hugged at least once a day.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 232

My dearest Ella,

Don't make excuses.

If you mess up, admit you messed up and don't make excuses. I hate when people try to justify their mistakes by making excuses for them. Own up to your failures, and learn, and move on.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 233

My dearest Ella,

Decisions that only take seconds to make can change your life forever.

I can't stress enough how important this note is, Ella. Think before you act. Let me write that again. Think before you act.

A teen a little older than you got behind the wheel of his car after drinking too much. Number one, he shouldn't have been drinking. Number two, he shouldn't have been driving. But he made two wrong decisions.

About a mile from his home, he lost control on an icy road and ran into a huge oak tree. He died instantly. The two decisions he made took his life and changed the lives of countless others.

Please, Ella, please. Think before you act. I have heard about too many kids who made decisions that altered their lives forever. And I don't want you to be one of them.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 234

My dearest Ella,

Pretend the red light on the radio tower is Rudolph's nose, no matter how old you are.

Remember how every time we'd drive by the big radio tower we'd pretend the red light at the tippy top was Rudolph's nose? I hope you always see Rudolph's nose in that red light and that you always believe in its magic.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 235

My dearest Ella,

Don't leave important decisions to chance.

Sometimes, people put off making important decisions and then time runs out and they no longer have a choice. When you have an important decision to make, make it. Don't wait or count on someone else to make it for you. It's your life, it should be your decision.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 236

My dearest Ella,

Remember that it's never too late.

One of the things I regret is never going to college. I thought about it from time to time, but always ended up thinking it was too late.

It's never too late, Ella, to do the things you want to do. It's never too late to change your mind or go in a different direction if that's what you want.

I met a woman who was in her sixties and taking college classes. She said it was something she always wanted to do. She said it was fun to be in classes with students who were her grandchildren's ages. I admire her for pursuing her dream.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 237

My dearest Ella,

Follow your own path.

Everyone is different. Right brain. Left brain. No brain? Hee–hee. But seriously, travel your own path—the one that's right for you. The path you choose might be vastly different than the one Emily chooses, but that's okay. That's how it should be. You and Emily are completely different people. Your life can be what you want it to be.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 238

My dearest Ella,

Get as much education as you can.

You know how strongly I feel about getting an education. Education opens doors and allows you opportunities you might not otherwise have. Learn as much as you can and enjoy the process.

When I became sick, I made up my mind to learn at least one new thing each day. Maddie bought me this wonderful book that's filled with all sorts of random facts and interesting tidbits. Did you know the average person laughs ten times a day?

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 239

My dearest Ella,

The best way to overcome a problem is to solve it.

Instead of stewing about a problem, fix it. Don't doubt your problem-solving skills, Ella. I've seen you analyze a problem, consider all possibilities, and solve it. Trust your ability to solve even life's biggest problems.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 240

My dearest Ella,

We often fear the thing we want the most.

Think about the things you fear. I know you, Ella, and I know one thing you fear is love. You fear loving someone because if you lose them the pain will be too great. I understand this fear. You lost your mom, and dad, and sister, and now me. But I also know loving someone is the thing you want the most. You want to love and be loved. I would have rather had two days with your grandpa than a lifetime without him. Fears have a way of working themselves out if you let them.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 241

My dearest Ella,

Things could always be worse.

I always had to remind myself of this whenever I was feeling down about something. For example, maybe I was feeling down because my knee bothered me and I was having trouble walking. But then I'd remember some people can't walk. They're in wheelchairs. Kind of puts things in perspective, doesn't it?

I've found in life that things are never as bad as they seem, and they most certainly can always be worse.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 242

My dearest Ella,

Dare to follow your dreams.

Change course if you have to.

Love completely.

Be who you are.

Dare, my dear Ella, and have the courage to follow your dares.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 243

My dearest Ella,

Success begins with you.

Go look in the mirror. Who do you see? You! Success doesn't begin with me, or Maddie, or Trey. It begins with you. You make a decision, take the first step, and stick with it until you succeed. The rest of us are here to support you and cheer you on. But you're the one who has to do the hard work.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 244

My dearest Ella,

An obstacle is simply something to overcome.

Go around it, over it, under it.

Do whatever it takes to overcome it. But never, ever let it stop you.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 245

My dearest Ella,

Look under rocks. You never know what you might find.

I've found the darndest things under some rocks in my life. The rocks that were too heavy to lift, Maddie helped. You never know where surprises might be hidden. Sometimes, I've found what I needed in a place I never would've expected to find it.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 246

My dearest Ella,

Wrap your arms around yourself and give yourself a big hug.

Sometimes, you just need to remember that you're pretty okay.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 247

My dearest Ella,

Learn how to multitask.

I'm the queen of multitaskers. I think being able to multitask is a valuable skill to have. You won't always have the luxury of focusing on just one thing. Often, you'll have several things coming at you and you'll have to juggle them simultaneously. It's not easy, and I don't think I ever became super great at it, but I think I do okay.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 248

My dearest Ella,

Listen to your child's opinions, thoughts, and feelings.

If you have children, please, listen to what they have to say. Encourage them to share their thoughts, and feelings, and opinions, even if they think they're different from yours.

The other day I was at the grocery store and watched as the young boy ahead of me in the check-out line tried to talk to his mother. She ignored him and chose to continue texting on her phone. "Not now," she said over and over. The boy looked like he was going to cry. He caught me watching and I smiled. I think he just wanted someone to listen.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 249

My dearest Ella,

Don't waste time.

A lot of people waste a lot of time doing a lot of things that don't matter. Always use your time wisely.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 250

My dearest Ella,

Know your children.

The best way to know your children is to spend time with them. Too few parents do this. They know their children about as well as they know the mailman. Know your children and be the kind of parent you ought to be.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 251

My dearest Ella,

Do the most important thing first.

Sometimes the thing you want to do first is not the thing you should do first. Do the thing you should. Get it out of the way, so you can do the thing you want.

Earlier today, I wanted to finish reading my book, but I had bills to pay. Writing out the bills was more important than reading my book. So I wrote out the bills and then read my book. I probably enjoyed reading even more because I'd finished the task I dreaded first.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 252

My dearest Ella,

Have a vision.

The older you get the more decisions you face about your future. Where will I go to college? What will I study? What kind of job will I have? Where will I live? What are my goals in life? The questions are endless.

Have a clear vision of what you want to achieve. People who lack vision lack direction. Without direction, you can't accomplish your goals and realize the vision you have.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 253

My dearest Ella,

Pay it forward.

Find time to do something nice for someone. Random acts of kindness bring joy to not only the recipient, but also to you.

One time, Maddie had this idea. She wanted to hand out five-dollar bills to folks at the soup kitchen. So she went to the bank and withdrew a few hundred dollars in fives and we went down to the soup kitchen and gave them away. I wish you would've seen the looks on the people's faces. Some cried. One woman wouldn't stop hugging her. They were so thankful.

Anyway, that's just one of the really neat things Maddie's done over the years. Each year, she'd come up with something new to do, whether it was adopting a local family at Christmas or paying for a child to go on a class trip.

Pay it forward when you can, Ella.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 254

My dearest Ella,

Keep love alive.

Sometimes, we get so weighed down by the business of life we forget our significant other. We don't do it on purpose—it just sort of happens.

Make time for those you love and work to keep your love alive. Even little things like leaving notes help keep those fires burning strong.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 255

My dearest Ella,

Be accepting.

I hope you accept people for who they are. You don't have to be best friends or hang out, but accept them even if they're different from you. There's room for all of us on this wonderful planet.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 256

My dearest Ella,

Learn a new skill.

It's always fun to learn a new skill. Pick one for the fun of it. Maybe it's learning to juggle, or sew, or paint, or dribble a basketball, or ride a skateboard.

When they started the prayer blanket ministry at church, I wanted to be a part of it, but didn't know how to crochet. I'd always wanted to learn and this was the perfect opportunity. Martha Hanson taught me how and I crocheted a couple blankets that were given to those who were sick. Not only did I learn a new skill, but I also used it to help others.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 257

My dearest Ella,

Put safety first.

Always, always, always put your safety first. You wouldn't run into a burning building that's collapsing or walk down a dark alley at two in the morning. Use common sense to keep you safe at all times.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 258

My dearest Ella,

Help others reach the highest fruit on the tree.

Picture standing beneath an apple tree with a person who's shorter than you. They can't reach the apples, but you can. What would you do? I hope you'd help them get the fruit that's out of their reach.

Life is full of apple trees, Ella. When you harvest the fruit for others, you add happiness to your storehouse.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 259

My dearest Ella,

Set priorities in your life.

There are probably a lot of things you want to do. Chances are you won't be able to do them all. Make sure you prioritize.

I know I've helped you with this from time to time. So often, multiple things demand our attention and all of them seem equally important. Or we want to do this, that, and the other thing and only have time for one. Start by deciding what's most important. Somehow, the rest just seems to fall in line.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 260

My dearest Ella,

Write a note to a teacher who helped you in some way.

It's always nice to write notes to people who've helped you. I think teachers are sometimes overlooked. If there's a teacher who's made a difference in your life, write him or her a note. I'm sure they'd appreciate the gesture.

The bigger idea here is to make sure you thank people for their kindness, or help, or for just being a good friend. I'm a big believer in hand-written notes, as you can see. There's just something extra special about receiving a note someone took the time to write out.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 261

My dearest Ella,

Make peace with your past.

When I was young, I didn't always make the best decisions. I did things I shouldn't have done and made mistakes I wish I wouldn't have made. When I got older, I didn't feel so great about the things I did or the mistakes I'd made. But I couldn't let the past drag me down. You can't either.

We all have to make peace with our past. Maybe you did something you're ashamed of and you can't stop obsessing about it. Nothing you do now is going to change what you did then. You just have to make peace with it and move on.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 262

My dearest Ella,

Finish what you start.

When you start something, see it through. Our neighbor has had a pile of mulch in his driveway for two years. Two years! He started spreading it and never finished. If you ever let a pile of mulch sit for two years, I'll haunt you (smiles). Seriously, Ella. When you start something, finish it.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 263

My dearest Ella,

Stay social.

Don't become a hermit like Mr. Baumgardner down the street. That man never leaves his house. Enjoy life by getting out, and doing fun things, and meeting new people. And, please, make sure Maddie stays social, too.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 264

My dearest Ella,

Love your toes.

This is just a little reminder you're beautiful just the way you are—funny toes and all.

I always hated my baggy eyelids. Maddie doesn't like the tiny gap between her front teeth. I think there'll always be physical features we'd like to change, but I hope you're comfortable in your own skin.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 265

My dearest Ella,

Be humble, not arrogant.

It's easy to get cocky if you allow yourself to. Don't. Remember your friend who got contacts, her braces off, and a new hair style? I remember you telling me she looked like a completely different person—and began to act totally different when her new appearance attracted a slew of boys who hadn't paid any attention to her before. She ended up losing a lot of friends because she became arrogant and thought she was too good for them. Whatever happened to that girl anyway?

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 266

My dearest Ella,

Be your husband's best friend.

Your grandfather and I were best friends. I think the happiest couples are those who are best friends and who love each other unconditionally. When you marry, I hope you and your husband have this kind of relationship.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 267

My dearest Ella,

Find a purpose in your life.

Some people wander through life with no purpose. They just sort of exist and aren't very happy. True joy is experienced by those who find purpose in their lives. Maybe it's to help the less fortunate. Or teach illiterate adults how to read and write. Whatever it is, I hope you find your purpose and that it brings you as much joy as mine has brought me.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 268

My dearest Ella,

Be kind, especially to yourself.

One day during Sunday school class, the teacher asked us to share our talents. As we went around the circle, everyone said something they thought they were pretty good at. One lady said cooking. Another said quilting. And another said making candles. But when it was Helen's turn, she said nothing.

"Surely you have something that you consider a talent," the teacher said.

"No," Helen said. "I'm dumb. I don't have any talents."

Helen was not very kind to herself that day. But suddenly everyone in the room started sharing what they thought were Helen's talents. "You make the best sugar cakes," one woman said. "And you make beautiful baby blankets for the Women's Center," another said. By the time the class ended, we had Helen feeling much better.

Be kind to yourself, Ella, and be kind to others. They'll never forget your kindness.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 269

My dearest Ella,

Always read contracts before signing them.

Never sign a contract without reading it. Pay attention to the small print and don't be afraid to ask questions. The questions you ask might save you from signing something that's not right for you.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 270

My dearest Ella,

Take help when it's offered.

Don't be too proud to take help. Everyone needs help from time to time. I was thankful our friends brought us meals when I was too sick to cook, and that Maddie did our shopping and cleaning. People want to help. People like to help. Let them. Don't turn down help because you think you should be able to do it yourself.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 271

My dearest Ella,

Think before you say something in anger.

I've regretted when I've done this. Whenever I'm angry, I take a deep breath before I speak. The extra seconds allow me time to think and, hopefully, prevent me from saying something I'll later regret.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 272

My dearest Ella,

You are your only limitation.

If you believe you can't do something, you probably won't. People who limit their choices to what seems reasonable or possible never realize their dreams. Don't limit yourself, Ella, because you doubt your talents. And don't compromise either.

I read a story about a young man, not much older than you, who became a paraplegic after he dived into the shallow end of a swimming pool. He was an all-star basketball player in high school and everyone assumed his days of playing the sport were over. But guess what? He worked hard and, while he never walked again, he did play basketball. He excelled in wheelchair basketball as well as some other wheelchair sports. He didn't let other people limit him. He had a dream and he worked hard pursuing that dream, and he achieved things others never thought he'd be able to.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 273

My dearest Ella,

There's no substitute for hard work.

Most of us have to work darn hard to get what we want, whether it's an A on a test or a better-paying job. The thing I've found is that when I work hard to achieve a goal, I appreciate it more than I would've if it was just given to me.

Remember when you wanted a new bike? I told you I'd pay half of it and you had to pay the other half. You earned money babysitting, taking as many jobs as you could. When you had enough, we went to the store and you picked the bike you wanted. You were so proud of that bike because you'd worked so hard to get it. It made you appreciate it more.

Work hard, Ella. Most things in life worth having are things you have to work hard for.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 274

My dearest Ella,

Let bygones be bygones.

Don't hold onto anger. Let it go. Your grandpa's dad and aunt, who were brother and sister, fought until they died. They were in their eighties when they died and they fought over something that happened when they were kids. What a waste. Let bygones be bygones and move on. Life is simply too short to waste it on trivial nonsense.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 275

My dearest Ella,

Don't go to bed mad.

I don't think it's a good idea to go to bed mad. I'd rather resolve the issue and get a good night's rest. Your grandfather and I always had this agreement and it worked pretty well.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 276

My dearest Ella,

Sing and don't worry about how you sound.

I love to sing, but I'm not very good. I used to be self-conscious while singing hymns in church. I imagined everyone was silently laughing at me because I sounded so bad.

Then one day I realized it didn't matter how I sounded. The important thing was how I felt in my heart. From that day on, I sang like no one else was listening. I didn't worry about how I sounded or what people thought. I just sang and it felt good.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 277

My dearest Ella,

Enjoy every season of your life

Each season offers something a little different. Enjoy the seasons and don't rush them. Each one is precious.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 278

My dearest Ella,

Break bad habits.

If you have any bad habits, break them. And if you don't have any, don't start. Maddie started smoking in college. She never planned on becoming addicted. It just sort of happened. And you and I both know how difficult this habit was for her to break.

Share this bit of advice with Emily. Maybe she'll stop biting her nails (smiles).

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 279

My dearest Ella,

Make lists.

You know I'm a big believer in making lists. This is a bit of practical advice but I think it's important. Lists help you keep track of things, whether it's homework or items to buy at the grocery store.

I usually made a list every day. I'd keep track of the things I needed to do, crossing them off when they were completed.

A member of my book club was an avid list maker and if she did something that wasn't on her list, she'd add it just so she could cross it off. Her name was Doris, and she really was a nut. One day, she showed us her list, and it was a hoot. The first item on her list was _get up_. Not sure what would've happened if she wouldn't have been able to cross that one off (smiles).

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 280

My dearest Ella,

Nurture your body, mind, and spirit.

It's important to not only take care of your body, but also your mind and spirit. It'll keep you balanced and centered. When I was a teen, I neglected the spirit part. I didn't think I needed it. Turns out, I did, but I had to learn that on my own.

Often your physical body is a reflection of your inner. A couple of weeks before my wedding, I broke out in this terrible rash. I had bumps all over me. I went to the doctor. He asked me if there was anything big or stressful going on in my life. I told him I was about to get married. I hadn't realized how stressed I was about the wedding and worried that everything would go all right. Turned out I broke out in hives because of it.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 281

My dearest Ella,

Have a pillow fight.

Whenever Emily would spend the night, the two of you would have pillow fights. I'd usually join in and the three of us would end up on the floor laughing so hard our stomachs hurt. Go and have one of these pillow fights in my memory. Maybe Maddie can take my place.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 282

My dearest Ella,

Babies can't be spoiled.

If you have children someday, I know you'll be a great mother. I wish I could be by your side to witness this miracle. You'll hear a lot of advice from a lot of people about what to do and what not to do. Here's one piece of advice from me. Some people might disagree, but it's how I feel. I really don't think you can spoil babies.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 283

My dearest Ella,

Give people the benefit of the doubt.

I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. It's worked out pretty well for me over the years and when it doesn't, I remember.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 284

My dearest Ella,

You, and only you, are responsible for the person you become.

I saw a TV talk show once and this loud-mouthed woman was blaming all of her problems on everyone in her life. It was her mom's fault. Her dad's fault. Her teacher's fault. It was everyone's fault but hers. I wanted to give that woman a piece of my mind.

She didn't take responsibility for the person she'd become. No one—not her mother, or father, or teacher—made her use drugs, or steal, or prostitute herself. She made those decisions. She was the one who was responsible for her crappy life.

Always remember, Ella, you and only you are responsible for the person you become.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 285

My dearest Ella,

People need to feel needed.

I think we all need to feel needed. Feeling needed and helping others makes us feel good inside. I know Maddie has told me time again how much she appreciated me letting her help us through the years. It made her life so much more meaningful, she said, because she knew what she did to help made a difference and was appreciated. She loved being needed. And I know when I'm gone, she'll love taking care of you.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 286

My dearest Ella,

As you age, exercise your mind.

Every Sunday, I did the New York Times crossword puzzle in the newspaper. Boy, was it difficult. And you know how many puzzle books I go through in a month and how much I enjoy my card club. You certainly don't have to worry about this now, but as you get older, make sure you exercise your mind. Keep it in tip-top shape.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 287

My dearest Ella,

Take chances.

Don't be afraid to take chances, Ella. Sometimes they work out and sometimes they don't, but if you never take the chance, you'll never know.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 288

My dearest Ella,

Don't be afraid of detours. You might find an unexpected surprise.

Remember the time we were coming home from the mall and we had to take a detour and discovered that really neat tea room? The following week, you, Maddie, Emily, and I went, and we had a wonderful time. We probably wouldn't have found the tea room if it had not been for the detour.

So I guess you never know, Ella, what you might find when the road of life sends you on a detour. Instead of complaining about the change, embrace it and you, too, might find an unexpected surprise.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 289

My dearest Ella,

Success means different things to different people. What's important is what it means to you.

I knew a woman who lost her vision. Her goal was to be able to continue living on her own. She moved to the city, so she could use public transportation and developed a system of identifying objects that included using rubber bands. She was successful in modifying her life so she could remain independent. She was truly an amazing woman.

For you, success might be earning a college degree or writing a book. Whatever it is, your success is your own. You define it and you achieve it, and it doesn't matter if no one else sees it as success, it's what you see it as that's important. My blind friend's idea of success was far different from my own, but that doesn't mean her success was any less important.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 290

My dearest Ella,

Find a career that correlates with your passion.

I think the happiest and most successful people are those who are able to do what they love and make money doing it. If you can choose a profession that matches your passion, you'll be much better off. Too many people choose a job that makes a lot of money, but they're miserable. Don't be miserable, Ella. Choose a career you're excited about. One that when you get up in the morning you can't wait to get to. That's passion.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 291

My dearest Ella,

Stay in touch with loved ones.

Life can get busy. There were times when you were little, and I was running you to Girl Scouts, and music lessons, and dance lessons that days would pass before Maddie and I connected. Make an effort to keep in touch with family and friends. With all the new gadgets you kids have nowadays, it's easier than ever. Make the effort to stay connected and make time to do things together.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 292

My dearest Ella,

Be loyal to family and friends.

I don't know where I would've been if it hadn't been for Maddie's loyalty. She has been a terrific and loyal friend, and is a great role model for you.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 293

My dearest Ella,

The more you give, the more you get back.

I'm a firm believer the more you give the more you get in return. I found this to be true over and over in life.

One time, I had very little in my wallet and my bank account. I really couldn't afford to help this woman out with her prescriptions, but I did anyway. About a year later when things were better in her life, she remembered my generosity and sent me a grocery store gift card for much more money than I'd given her. She wrote a note telling me how much she had appreciated my help.

It felt good to know I'd helped someone who was struggling.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 294

My dearest Ella,

Healthy communication is important.

I know how much you like talking, so this might not ever be a problem—except when you're sad or mad. Then you clam up. Don't. We agreed long ago that if something was bothering one of us we'd tell the other. Ever since I became sick, you haven't stuck to our agreement. But I've never pressured you about it because I knew you needed time to deal with my illness.

But as you go through life, Ella, make sure you communicate. If someone does something that bothers you, talk to him or her about it. I can't stress how important communicating is. Keeping your feelings bottled up isn't good. When you share your thoughts, it lightens the load and leads to a better understanding. So remember to talk, especially when you have something weighing on your mind.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 295

My dearest Ella,

Love is a decision.

Love is something you decide. It's not something that's decided for you. You decide who you want to give your heart to. You decide whom you want to spend your life with. You decide whom you want to be the father of your children. These are your decisions and no one else's.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 296

My dearest Ella,

Don't give in to peer pressure.

I know at your age peer pressure can be pretty intense. Don't worry about what other girls are doing. Do what you think is right for you. I hope you're strong enough to withstand peer pressure and blaze your own path—one that's true to your beliefs and values.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 297

My dearest Ella,

You need to be a friend if you want a friend.

Friendship is a two-way street. If you want a good friend, you must be a good friend. Remember that maintaining a friendship is work. Just like any relationship, you must nurture it to keep it healthy. Be the kind of friend you want to have and you can't go wrong.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 298

My dearest Ella,

When you say I love you, mean it.

Don't tell someone you love them unless you mean it. So many young kids today throw around these words as if they're worth a penny. They're worth a fortune, Ella. Give that fortune to those who deserve it and to those your heart tells you to.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 299

My dearest Ella,

Don't try to have the last word. You might just get it.

Maddie's brother was like this. No matter what, he always had to have the last word. He couldn't give a little or allow his girlfriend to have the last word. Well, she finally got the willies of this and left him.

Sometimes you get the last word and sometimes you don't. When you don't, let it go. Unless you want to find yourself alone like Maddie's brother.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 300

My dearest Ella,

I can't believe I'm writing my three hundredth note. I wasn't sure I'd get this far. Hopefully, I'll be able to finish them. If I can't, I know you'll understand. Here's to you, everything a granddaughter should be—love, laughter, amazing grace. I love you!

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 301

My dearest Ella,

Fight fair.

If you're going to argue with someone, keep it on the up and up. No cheap shots. Listen to the other person. Try to see his or her point of view. Stick to the topic you're fighting about until it's resolved. If you're fighting about the computer, for example, don't bring in other problems. Never bring up past history—trust me on this—and absolutely no name calling. Also, keep the fight between the two of you and respect one another. Fighting fair isn't about winning, it's about maintaining a healthy relationship.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 302

My dearest Ella,

Brick and mortar don't make a home. People do.

It doesn't matter if your house is big or small, brick or stone, one story or two. A trailer or an apartment. It's not the material that makes a home, but the people living inside.

When I was a young, single mother, I envied women my age who had nicer homes. I felt embarrassed I couldn't provide a nicer home for your mother, especially when she started visiting friends who lived in much nicer places.

And then one day it dawned on me. Yes, our house was old and in need of a few coats of paint. But what it looked like on the outside wasn't nearly as important as what was happening inside. Inside there was love and laugher. Inside lived a family who made it a home.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 303

My dearest Ella,

Here's one of those notes that's a little something about me. I hate snakes. Absolutely hate them.

One April Fool's day, I poured a bowl of cereal and out came a snake. Well, it wasn't a real snake. It was a fake one, but I didn't know it right away. I screamed, and the bowl flew off the counter, broke, and the cereal went everywhere. I was so mad at Maddie. She'd put the rubber snake in the box the day before. Maddie always was a practical joker. She's still that way, God love her.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 304

My dearest Ella,

For your own sanity, try not to be a perfectionist.

When you were little and we'd color together, you'd get upset if you went outside the lines. You can see from the coloring picture I included with this note how neat you colored, even at a young age.

I remember the day you were coloring Cinderella, and I was coloring her pumpkin carriage. You spent hours on that picture and I, on purpose, didn't stay in the lines while coloring the carriage. When I finished, you looked at my picture and you pointed to all of the places I didn't stay in the lines. And I told you it was still a pretty picture even it if wasn't perfect. I don't think you agreed, but my point was for you to see that not everything had to be perfect in order to be pretty.

Life isn't perfect. We aren't perfect. We're full of flaws. But the flaws help make us the people we are. The key is to try your best, and if your best means going outside the line a time or two, oh, well.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 305

My dearest Ella,

Not getting what you want might be a good thing.

There were many times you wanted something, and I wasn't able to give it to you. It just cost too much, and I didn't have the money. But I think that sometimes in life, not getting what you want is good. It makes you appreciate what you do get more and teaches you the value of hard work and prioritizing.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 306

My dearest Ella,

Always remember—no matter how much fame and fortune you achieve—where you came from.

I have enormous respect for those who _make it_ and give back to the community. Perhaps it's a movie star, and she donates money to the community theater where she got her start.

Your roots are important, Ella. They've helped mold you into the person you've become. Remember these roots and be proud of them. They'll keep you grounded and in touch with what's really important in life.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 307

My dearest Ella,

Create family traditions.

Ever since you were little, Maddie and I've taken you to Christmas Magic. You loved walking the trail that snaked through the forest decorated with thousands of colorful lights. The outing became a tradition. I'm sorry I wasn't well enough to go this year.

I hope when I'm gone, Maddie and you will create your own traditions. And that when you have a family, you'll create traditions for them.

I know you don't like me to bring up the zoo, but going to the zoo was your parents' family tradition. Ever since you were a baby, they took you there once a year.

Maybe when you have children, you'll consider taking your children to the zoo, and the tradition can start anew.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 308

My dearest Ella,

If you love what you're doing, you'll be successful.

I can't stress this enough. Love what you do, and it won't seem like work at all.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 309

My dearest Ella,

God speaks to those who listen.

I think God speaks to us, but we don't always hear Him. Most of the time we're too busy to listen. But stop and listen, Ella. Really listen. You'll find when you do this, He'll guide you down the right path. It might not be the path you thought you'd take, but it's the path He wants you to take.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 310

My dearest Ella,

Develop good study habits.

Sometimes you procrastinate. You become overwhelmed by an assignment and, instead of digging in and getting started, you put it off. You need to develop good study habits. Learn what works for you—we both know that procrastination doesn't. College will be more challenging than high school, so work on developing your study habits to ensure success.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 311

My dearest Ella,

Have fun more often.

I worry about you having fun, especially now that you're dealing with my death. Life is always going to have ups and downs, Ella. Many of these you can't control. You just have to deal with them as they come. But you can control the fun in your life. You can at least try to have more fun.

When was the last time you went to the amusement park, and rode your favorite roller coaster, and screamed until your voice was hoarse? That's fun. As you live your life, don't forget having fun is a part of it. It's the part that makes the difficult days a little easier to handle.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 312

My dearest Ella,

Do something you've always wanted to do.

I always wanted to learn how to scuba dive, but I never did. Just never seemed to have the time. But I should've made time. If you want to do something, Ella, do it. I know you dream of writing a book someday. Write it. The trouble with putting things off until tomorrow is that eventually you run out of tomorrows.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 313

My dearest Ella,

Don't be afraid to make mistakes. It's how you learn.

I am the queen of mistakes. There probably isn't a mistake I haven't made. But I've also learned from my mistakes.

One time, I tried a new recipe—my own concoction—and it was a disaster. Maddie spit it out. The dog wouldn't even eat it.

If I would've been afraid of making a mistake, I never would've tried my concoction. I reworked the recipe and made it again and it was delicious. Maddie even had seconds and you know she never eats seconds, so that should tell you something. Go ahead and try new things. If they don't work out, oh, well. You'll never know until you try. And what's a little heartburn anyway (smiles)? That's what antacid tablets are for.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 314

My dearest Ella,

Watch caffeine intake.

A bit of practical advice. Not too much else to say. Just watch how much caffeine you drink. When I tried to cut back, I got massive headaches. I had to do it little by little. It was quite a battle. Watch from the start, and you'll be healthier.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 315

My dearest Ella,

Plant good-seed deeds and watch your garden grow.

Maddie's great at this. She does nice things for people that help them grow and prosper in ways they might not have otherwise. Follow her example.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 316

My dearest Ella,

I just finished another cross-stitch ornament. They'll look beautiful on your tree someday. Sometimes, I close my eyes and picture what I think your tree will look like with all of my ornaments hanging on its branches.

Making the ornaments always reminds me of the tapestry story I shared with you and Trey. The back of a tapestry is ugly with its loose threads and knots. But when you turn it over, you see the masterpiece those loose threads and knots have created. Remember the tapestry story as you deal with life's knots and loose threads. I know you'll have a beautiful tapestry, Ella, filled with rich colors and textures.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 317

My dearest Ella,

Watch your diet. Drink plenty of water. Eat plenty of fruits. Eat plenty of vegetables. And try something other than corn.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 318

My dearest Ella,

Remember, the adults in your life—Maddie, teachers, etc.—really do know a thing or two.

I know it's hard for you to believe, Ella, but the adults in your life really do know something. They aren't as dumb as you think.

When I was your age, I thought I knew everything there was to know. As I grew older, I realized how very little I knew and that my parents weren't as stupid and backward as I'd thought.

Every teen goes through this. It's part of growing up and becoming an adult. But remember, when it comes to the big decisions in your life, there's nothing wrong with seeking the guidance of people who have a lot more life experience. You can learn from their mistakes if you listen to what they have to say. You've always had to learn things the hard way, Ella. Do yourself a favor and take my advice—listen to others.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 319

My dearest Ella,

Move on. Don't stay in the past.

Life is simply too short to stay in the past. Let go of the past so you can embrace the future.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 320

My dearest Ella,

Understand your limits.

Know what you're capable of and learn to accept it. A boy I went to high school with wanted to be a dentist like his father and grandfather. It only took him a couple of semesters to realize he was never going to be a dentist. He might've wanted it. His dad and grandfather might've wanted it. But the truth was, he couldn't handle the curriculum. That doesn't mean he was stupid. It just meant he had certain limits. He excelled in other areas and eventually became a guidance counselor at a junior high school.

You might not become a great singer or athlete, but that doesn't mean you aren't valuable. If you understand and accept your limits, you'll be happier because you won't try to be something or someone you're not.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 321

My dearest Ella,

Celebrate your achievements.

Remember when you finished that huge research project in ninth grade? Maddie, you, and I celebrated at Tropical Treat and got banana splits for dessert. I think it's important to celebrate your accomplishments. It doesn't have to be a dinner. It could be something smaller—like getting new lip gloss. Celebrating your victories energizes you and you're able to tackle bigger and perhaps more difficult projects.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 322

My dearest Ella,

I know you're angry I stopped getting chemotherapy, but, please, try to understand I didn't do it because I don't love you. I did it because I do.

The truth is, Ella, the chemo wasn't working. We knew it was a long shot, and I prayed for a miracle, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. And I'd much rather spend the remaining time I have and be able to enjoy it with you than be sick until the end. I want to be able to go out to dinner or enjoy a movie. I want to have some fun.

Please, try to understand that sometimes you might disagree with the choices another person makes, but you need to respect their choices. I know it'll take time for you to work through your anger. That's expected. But what I'm trying to say in this note is that sometimes a little of something is better than a lot. I'd rather spend two great months with you than six too-sick-to-do-anything ones.

Please, know I love you and that this decision was not easy for me to make, but I want to enjoy the time we have left. You are everything to me.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 323

My dearest Ella,

The best is yet to come.

You have to believe this, Ella. I'm certain you have a great life ahead of you, one in which many of your dreams will come true.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 324

My dearest Ella,

When you and your spouse have children, parent together.

Parenting is a partnership. All of the responsibility shouldn't fall on one person's shoulders. I think couples who parent together set a good example for their children to follow. Mom and Dad are both important and matter in their children's lives.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 325

My dearest Ella,

Keep romance alive in your marriage.

When you are married—hopefully, years from now—nurture the romance in your marriage. Sometimes couples, especially after they have children, will neglect each other. It's not on purpose, it just sort of happens. They're focused on the kids and what their needs are. But couples also have needs. I used to tell your mother to have a date night once a month. At least for a couple of hours, you're focused on each other without any distractions.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 326

My dearest Ella,

Go to college.

You know how I feel about you going to college. I've saved and saved to be able to give you this opportunity. You deserve to have this chance. Maddie will help you navigate the admissions process and take you to visit schools. She and I've discussed this at length, and I know she wants this for you as much as I do. Don't worry about the money. Maddie will help you figure all of the financial stuff out. Just worry about your grades and doing your best in school.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 327

My dearest Ella,

Remember to say thank you.

Always, always, always say thank you. It seems like fewer and fewer people say this nowadays.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 328

My dearest Ella,

Bake cookies and eat some while they're still warm.

Remember how we'd bake chocolate chip cookies and eat them right out of the oven—hot and gooey? I can taste them now. Make some cookies and think of me. Maybe Maddie will help.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 329

My dearest Ella,

Live with passion.

Maddie is a great example of someone who lives with passion. I just love her energy and the way she turns something bad into something good, or at least better. She laughs, and loves, and lives life like there's no tomorrow. Learn from her, Ella. I've always found Maddie's passion to be contagious.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 330

My dearest Ella,

Don't gloat.

I knew someone who worked in HR, and she told me how someone her company didn't hire later called to gloat about the job he did get. I just don't understand such malicious satisfaction. Why would anyone waste valuable time and energy on gloating? I think there are more positive and rewarding things to do with your time.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 331

My dearest Ella,

You asked me once if I regretted marrying so young and having your mother and here's my answer. Not for one second.

Life deals us funny twists and turns, Ella, and we aren't always sure where we'll end up. But this I know for certain, being a mother and grandmother have brought me more joy than I'd ever dreamed possible. While there have been many sorrows in my life, there have been many more joys and for that I'm thankful and feel blessed.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 332

My dearest Ella,

Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing at all.

I think you're like me. You like solving problems, helping people figure things out. But sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is nothing at all. I learned this the hard way.

One time, Maddie came to me with a problem and I started solving the problem for her, figuring out what she could do and how she could do it. But that's not what Maddie wanted or needed. She simply needed to talk and for me to listen. Sometimes people need to figure things out on their own. Let them.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 333

My dearest Ella,

Enjoy the simple things in life.

Maybe it's a book, or a pet, or making chocolate chip pancakes. Or building a snowman and sipping hot chocolate afterward. Find comfort in the little things that make life so great.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 334

My dearest Ella,

Don't take guilt trips.

Avoid these if you can. They usually don't lead anywhere you need to go.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 335

My dearest Ella,

When you have a bad day, don't ruin everyone else's.

There are some people who, when having a bad day, think everyone else should have a bad day, too. They can't stand it if others are happy when they aren't. Stay away from these people, and make sure you don't ever become one of them.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 336

My dearest Ella,

Laugh before you cry.

When you feel like crying, try laughing. Sometimes it works.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 337

My dearest Ella,

Pick your battles.

You can't win all of the battles you'll face in life, Ella. Choose those most important and let the others go.

Remember when you wanted to get your nose pierced? I thought it was a stupid thing to do. I could've forbid you from doing this, but in the end, I just didn't feel it was a battle worth fighting. There were bigger battles to be concerned about and you getting a diamond stud in your nose wasn't one of them.

You'll find this out when you have children, Ella. You can't fight about everything, or you'll be miserable. Pick and choose those battles that are most important and let the rest go.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 338

My dearest Ella,

Don't try to please everyone.

I know you always want everyone to be happy, Ella, but sometimes it's impossible. Do what you think is right. If people are upset, they'll have to get over it. You'll never please yourself if you try to please everyone else.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 339

My dearest Ella,

Be resilient.

I know this isn't easy, but being able to recover from a misfortune or tragedy is important. If you learn how to cope with stress, you'll be able to bounce back more quickly and be happier and healthier.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 340

My dearest Ella,

Give people second chances.

Everyone makes mistakes. You're not perfect. Maddie's not perfect. No one is perfect. So when someone makes a mistake and apologizes, give them a second chance, just like I gave you a second chance when you got that speeding ticket the other month.

You knew you weren't paying attention. You were too busy chatting with Emily. I could've taken away your car privileges for a week, but I gave you a second chance. Give others second chances, Ella.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 341

My dearest Ella,

Life is all about balance.

Seek balance in your life, Ella. If there's balance, there'll be peace. Too much of anything is bad.

I knew a person who lived her life in extremes. She was either extreme right or extreme left, never dead center. It was like watching a clock pendulum swing. And she always seemed irritable and unhappy. I can't imagine living my life in such extremes. As in most of nature, balance is key.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 342

My dearest Ella,

Always have duct tape in the junk drawer.

I don't know where I would've been without duct tape. It saved me many times, from patching holes, to removing lint, to repairing leaks. It's one of those items that's just good to keep on hand. And they make it in your favorite color—pink!

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 343

My dearest Ella,

People rarely change.

Don't plan on being able to change someone. If you can't accept things about them, move on. Trying to make someone into what you want them to be will only make you and that person unhappy. Do yourselves both a favor and let it go. Believe me, Ella, I have experience with this one.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 344

My dearest Ella,

Learn to accept compliments gracefully.

When someone compliments you, smile and say thank you. Don't deny the compliment or be embarrassed by it. And it's not a bad idea to return the compliment and leave them feeling better about themselves. Both of you will feel more confident, and that's a good thing.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 345

My dearest Ella,

Knowledge is power. The more you know the less there is to fear.

I truly believe this, Ella. We fear what we don't know. So if you don't know something, learn it. Maddie was so afraid she was going to have high blood pressure like her mother. So you know Maddie. She read everything she could find about high blood pressure. She learned what to do and what not to do. What to eat and what not to eat. She became quite the expert on the subject, and her knowledge erased her fear because she learned how to keep her blood pressure in check.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 346

My dearest Ella,

Have integrity.

I hope I've taught you the importance of having integrity. People will judge you by your words and your actions. Do you say one thing but do another? Be consistent and follow the code of ethics you were raised with—honesty, sincerity, etc.—and you won't falter.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 347

My dearest Ella,

Find the best in others.

I believe there is good in everyone. Even that loudmouth Brianna girl you dislike so much has to have something that's good about her. Try to find the best in others. I agree, sometimes it takes a lot of looking, but when you find that small seed you might just be able to water it and make it grow.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 348

My dearest Ella,

Don't spend money before you have it.

How often have you gotten mad at me for making you wait until you got paid rather than lend you money to buy something you wanted? I'd say fairly often.

I wasn't trying to be mean. I was trying to teach you to save money for the things you want. When you have enough, then you can buy it.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 349

My dearest Ella,

Always take the high road.

Taking the high road isn't always easy. But when you take the high road, you're not allowing yourself to stoop to another's low. Retaliation and anger always end badly. Maintain your own moral high ground, and you'll be happier knowing you didn't compromise.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 350

My dearest Ella,

Don't keep score.

I was reminded of this today when the pastor talked about the parable of the vineyard. I'll be the first to admit I've always have a hard time with this parable. It certainly doesn't leave me with a warm, fuzzy feeling. We usually have our antenna up when we see unfairness, especially when it involves us.

In this parable, the workers weren't upset because they'd been paid what they'd been promised. They were angry because the owner gave the workers who came later and worked fewer hours the same wages. "You made them equal to us," the laborers who had toiled all day said.

This parable speaks against the attitude that we think we deserve more. There's no question it's a parable about God's grace. It's also about judgment. But the thing I want you to think about is the keeping score part. It's impossible to have any positive relationships with others if we're keeping track. There are always going to be people who do less than we do. If we keep score and constantly judge there won't be much fellowship.

We only condemn generosity when we feel we deserve more than others. Don't walk through life dragging a scoreboard.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 351

My dearest Ella,

Ignore jerks.

Boy, have I run into some pretty big jerks in my life. Why, just the other day when I was waiting to pull into this parking space at the grocery store, a man who was coming from the opposite direction—and could see I was waiting and had my turn signal on—pulled into the spot. What a jerk! There'll always be jerks in your life, Ella. Don't let them get the best of you. They're not worth your time and energy.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 352

My dearest Ella,

Respect your elders.

Just a reminder to always care and respect your elders. They've lived a lot longer than you have and their life experiences might help you if you listen to their advice. Be kind and patient with them. Remember, you'll be old one day.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 353

My dearest Ella,

Have courage.

Have the courage to step outside of your comfort zone and try something new. If you have courage, you'll have the strength you need to take risks and succeed. Having courage doesn't mean you're not afraid, it means you're able to overcome your fears.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 354

My dearest Ella,

Have an open mind.

I've always tried to have an open mind about things. Be willing to listen to others who have a new and different way of doing something. Lord knows, when all of these fancy gadgets like computers and cell phones came about I had to have an open mind. It wasn't easy embracing all this new technology.

Don't be resistant to change, Ella. And when you're presented with new facts and evidence about something, be willing to change your view.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 355

My dearest Ella,

Be dependable.

Be the type of person others can rely on. Being dependable means being trustworthy. Doing what you say you will do. Following through on your commitments.

If you tell someone you're going to meet them at a certain time, be there. If you promise to do something, do it.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 356

My dearest Ella,

Every day is special because you're here.

I know it's hard to feel like every day is special, but it truly is because you're here. And we both know what the alternative would be. So try to remember this on the days that get you down. Every day is special because you are alive and well.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 357

My dearest Ella,

Learn what you don't know.

I think when people don't know something, they should learn it. Don't ever get lazy about this, Ella.

Remember the time I didn't have any idea how to change the oil in the car? I was trying to save money and figured I'd do it myself. Well, I had to learn because I'd never changed oil before. And, if you remember, it was quite an experience. Remember, when you learn, you grow.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 358

My dearest Ella,

Don't keep your heart to yourself.

You have a huge heart, Ella. Don't be afraid to share it.

I found this old Valentine you made me when you were in second grade. Check the back. I always dated everything you made. It says I give you my heart. I'm giving you this Valentine for safe keeping. When you need to be reminded, pull it out.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 359

My dearest Ella,

When you're tired, rest.

You're always on the go. You and Maddie are alike in this way. You go, go, go. But sometimes you have to rest, which is hard for you to do. Listen to your body. If it's telling you to rest, then rest. And try to get Maddie to do the same.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 360

My dearest Ella,

It's okay to cry. Sometimes it's the only thing you can do.

I've never been one of those people who are afraid of showing emotion. I wear my heart on my sleeve, as the saying goes.

When you were little, I worried about you seeing me cry. Sometimes, I'd get so sad when I thought about everything that had happened. I remember one night you heard me crying. I thought you were asleep. And you came to my room, crawled into bed beside me, and said, "Don't cry, Grandma. I'm here."

You've always been such a sweet child, Ella. You've seen me cry a lot over the years, and I think that, if anything, it's helped you understand that it's okay to cry. You don't have to keep all of your emotions bottled up inside. No one is going to think less of you. Some might even think more of you. And, gosh darn it, sometimes crying feels good. We have a good cry and then we're able to continue on.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 361

My dearest Ella,

Write about life.

I've read a lot of your essays and stories over the years, Ella, and those that have touched me the most deeply have been those seeded in universal truths. You're able to draw from your life experiences to connect with readers in a way that makes them feel as though they're your best friends, like they've been walking by your side forever, sharing your joys and your sorrows. I hope if your dream is to become a writer that you write about life in a way that helps others triumph over tragedy.

In last week's sermon, Pastor talked about being Christ sharers or light sharers. I think you can be that, Ella. Through your work, you can share the light, so that those overcome by darkness will find their way. You can be the change that leads to change. Give people hope where there is none. Show them that life, the ordinary life, is not ordinary at all, but quite extraordinary. And if you're wondering just how to accomplish this, start writing and trust in God. He'll lead you.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 362

My dearest Ella,

Love is the greatest gift of all.

You have many precious gifts you can give someone, but love, without a doubt, is the greatest of all. Guard it with your heart and only give to those who truly deserve it.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 363

My dearest Ella,

Dance. Even when the music stops.

I've told you this so many times, Ella, but I really hope that when the music in your life stops, as it surely will from time to time, you continue to dance. I hope you find the strength to pick up your feet and take one step at a time. The music will find its way back, but until it does, keep those feet moving.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 364

My dearest Ella,

Take care of Maddie as if she was me.

I've asked very little of you over the years, but this is very important to me. Please, take care of Maddie. I don't know where we would've been without her. I never told you this, but there were times when I didn't have the money to pay for something you needed. There were times when I got behind on bills and there just wasn't enough money to pay for all of our living expenses. Maddie always helped. I didn't even have to ask her. Somehow, she knew. There were many months when the electric or gas bills came and there were zero balances because they'd been paid. Times when I'd stop in to pay a charge bill at the store and learned it had been taken care of. It was Maddie who paid these bills. She never said anything, but a best friend just knows.

Maddie loves you, Ella, like you were her own daughter and would go to the ends of the earth for you. Please, do the same for her.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma

* * *

Note # 365

My dearest Ella,

I can't believe I'm writing the last note you'll ever receive from me. By the time you read this, a whole year will have passed since my death. I hope my notes have helped you find your way. Keep them and read them as you journey through life, using them as a compass to keep you on the right path and headed in the right direction.

I will leave you with one last thought. From the moment I saw you, Ella, I loved you. I was blessed to have you in my life and honored to be your grandmother. I pray that your life is filled with many blessings and that your triumphs, not your tragedies, define you. Be well, my sweet Ella, and I hope that even when it rains, you're able to find the sun.

Love you bunches and bunches,

Grandma
Please enjoy this sample from Ella's Rain by Buffy Andrews, available from Prism Book Group!

### Copyright 2015 © Buffy Andrews

# CHAPTER ONE

Ella stared at the alabaster urn the funeral director had given her. It was hard to believe that Grandma had become nothing more than a pile of white ashes. She longed to feel her grandma's thick arms around her and to smell her sweet perfume that hung in the air like an August fog. How does a cream puff of a lady become nothing more than a bag of dust, she wondered.

Cancer. That evil _C_ word. The word she had lived with for almost a year. The evil thing that had devoured Grandma like a vulture devours a dead carcass, gorging itself until its crop bulges and leaves nothing but splintered bones behind.

It was so unfair, Ella thought. Grandma Dorothy was all she had. Now her beloved Dorothy was gone, off to an emerald city from which she would never return. And Ella was left with nothing but the sage alabaster urn Grandma had picked out before she died. Picked out like everything else.

The hymns that would be sung. The biblical passages that would be read. Even the flowers that would sit beside the urn on the pedestal table. She'd picked everything out as if she'd been planning a picnic, and Ella hated her for it.

Sometimes, Ella couldn't stand Grandma's optimism, and she'd escape to her room. She'd tell Grandma she had to study, but she never did. She'd lie on her bed, stare at the ceiling, and think, and remember, and pretend—pretend that Grandma was in the kitchen singing her favorite Doris Day song and making macaroni and cheese.

Ella could hear Grandma's voice in her head. _Whatever will be will be._

She started to cry. Screw _whatever will be will be_ , she thought. What about what I want? Then she started to panic, afraid that Grandma's voice would fade like her mother's, and father's, and sister's. No matter how hard she tried, Ella no longer heard their voices.

They'd died when Ella was six. Killed in an accident on the way home from the zoo. _Crash Kills Family of Three_ , the newspaper headline had said.

Ella could still remember that day, as if it was yesterday or the day before instead of eleven years ago. Ella had a stomach virus and was too sick to go. She'd spent the night throwing up and eventually fell asleep in her mother's arms next to the white porcelain tub. Grandma had watched her while the rest of Ella's family met her mom's friend for their annual zoo outing.

Ella was so upset she couldn't go that she cried the whole way through _Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory_ —her favorite movie. Even watching Augustus Gloop fall into the chocolate river and being sucked out by the extraction pipe, and gum-chewing Violet Beauregarde blowing up like a balloon, didn't make her laugh.

Grandma promised to take her to the zoo when she felt better, but Ella still cried. She wanted to see the monkeys with Sissy. And the bears, giraffes, and tigers.

After her parents and sister died, Ella wanted nothing to do with the zoo. Grandma brought it up a few times. She thought it would be good for Ella to go, but Ella refused. She wasn't going anywhere near the zoo and, after a time, Grandma stopped asking.

Grandma's best friend, Maddie, put her arms around Ella. Everyone else had left after the funeral service—her best friend, Emily, even Trey. Secretly, Ella had wanted him to stay, but she kept pushing him away. She'd been doing that for months.

It was better that way, she thought. Everyone she loved she'd lost. Losing Trey would be too much. She had to protect herself from ever feeling this way again. And if turning away from Trey was what she needed to do to protect herself, well, then that's what she had to do.

"Ready?" Maddie asked.

No, Ella wasn't ready. She wasn't ready to move into Maddie's house. She adored Maddie. Loved her. She was like the aunt Ella never had, but Maddie wasn't Grandma.

However, Ella had no choice. Grandma had planned everything. Just like the hymns, and the readings, and the flowers. Maddie, a retired school teacher, would become Ella's guardian and see her through her last year of high school and college. That was the plan—Grandma's plan. As much as Ella hated it, she knew it was the only way.

"I hope that even in the rain," Grandma always told her, "you find the sun."

Screw the sun, Ella thought as she grabbed her coat and followed Maddie to the front door. There was no sun in sight. Only a razor-blade rain that sliced her aching heart and chilled her to the bone.

# CHAPTER TWO

Ella woke up with beads of sweat on her brow. Her pink floral sheets were soaked. She'd had the dream again, the one that began the night Grandma had died. Three weeks had passed since Grandma's funeral service and Ella's heart still sank, weighed down by memories and longings too heavy to lift.

In the dream, Ella removed the seal on the alabaster urn and rubbed it as if it was a magic lamp, wishing for Grandma to appear. A tornado swirl of vibrant colors burst from the urn and landed on the floor next to her.

First, Ella saw feet, then calves and thighs. Eventually, Grandma stood before her looking healthy—like she had before she became sick. Ella filled Grandma in on the latest happenings in her life, and Grandma shared some of her adventures in Heaven.

Before Grandma dissolved into a twist of rainbow ribbons and returned to the urn, she'd tell Ella, "Write about life."

Then the dream ended, and Ella woke up and checked the urn sitting on her dresser, just to be sure the dream really was just a dream.

Maddie knocked on Ella's bedroom door. "You're going to be late for school."

Ella rolled onto her side and checked the clock on her nightstand. It was already six fifteen. She hated when she had the dream. It wasn't every night, but it happened often enough, leaving her extra tired in the morning.

Ella always had trouble falling back to sleep after the dream. She'd lie in bed and think about Grandma being in the urn. Maddie suggested moving the urn to another room—maybe put it on the fireplace mantel or in the hutch in the dining room, but Ella wanted it in her room. She wanted it to be the last thing she saw when she crawled into bed at night and the first thing she saw when she woke up. She always kissed her fingertips then touched the urn. If she couldn't kiss Grandma's soft cheek, at least she could fingertip kiss the stone urn.

Ella felt under the pillow for the locket Grandma had given her their last Christmas together. The corners of her mouth curled up as she opened the keepsake to find a photo of her silly self dancing in the sticky summer rain. Ella remembered that day. She had begged Grandma to let her run barefoot through the puddles and catch raindrops on the tip of her tongue. Just once. And Grandma had finally given in. The photo became one of Grandma's favorites. She'd often said she loved how Ella's thick, heavy curls hugged her heart-shaped face. How her dimples winked when she smiled. But most of all, Grandma had loved that even in the rain Ella found joy.

Ella read the inscription on the inside of the locket. _Always find the sun. Love, Grandma._

Ella kissed the locket and tucked it underneath her pillow before making her bed and stumbling downstairs.

She poured herself a cup of coffee. Ella really didn't like drinking it, but she needed the caffeine. Besides, it gave her a chance to use the mug she'd bought for Grandma in second grade at Santa's Secret Shop. Ella turned the mug so the words faced her. _World's Greatest Grandma!_

Ella remembered being so excited that Christmas. She couldn't wait for Grandma to open her present. She was proud because she had wrapped it herself. Grandma told Ella it was the best Christmas gift she'd ever received, and used it every day.

Ella stirred in a heaping tablespoon of sugar and let the coffee cool before guzzling it. She had mastered the art of drinking horrible tasting fluids as a child, thanks to a string of ear infections. The chalky-white medicine she'd take for them was the worst.

Emily's VW pulled into the driveway. Ella grabbed her bag and dashed outside to find her friend dancing in her seat. She opened the car door and climbed in. "Wish I had your energy."

"You had that dream again, didn't you?" Emily stopped waving her lanky arms and sat still. She knew Ella like no one else did. She knew her secrets, and desires, and fears.

Ella nodded. "I wish it really was a magic lamp."

"Maybe it's your way of dealing with never being able to see your grandma again."

"Maybe." Ella stared out the window as Emily backed out of the driveway.

"I passed Trey on the way over," Emily said.

Ella shrugged.

"I really think you should talk to him. Quit pushing him away, El. He needs you, and you certainly need him."

Ella sighed. "I have a chem test today. Hope it's not as hard as the last one."

"Quit trying to change the subject."

"I'm not. It's just that I think it's better this way."

Emily shook her head. "No. It's a cop-out and you know it. Anyway, did you bring the note?"

From her backpack, Ella pulled out the envelope Maddie had left on the kitchen counter. Each morning, Maddie gave Ella a note Grandma had written before she'd died. There were three hundred and sixty five of them, one for every day of the coming year.

Grandma had instructed Maddie to give Ella one each day. It was just another thing Grandma had planned. The notes contained words of wisdom and advice, things Grandma wanted Ella to think about or do as she lived her life, things Grandma would have told her in person if she could.

Ella always shared Grandma's notes with Emily. It became something they both looked forward to.

Ella ripped open the envelope and took out the familiar sheet of white paper with daffodils in the bottom right corner. Ella knew Grandma had probably searched everywhere until she'd found the perfect stationery. Grandma loved daffodils. She'd loved how they poked through the hard ground in early spring, their yellow trumpets heralding the return of everything green. She'd loved how they swayed like tiny drops of sunshine on green lollipop stems.

Each year, when the American Cancer Society sold bunches of daffodils as a fundraiser, Grandma would buy several. Yes, Ella thought, this wasn't just any stationery, it was special stationery with the flower of hope, a detail only Grandma would think to include.

Ella unfolded the piece of paper and read the note aloud. _"_ Always do the right thing. It might not be what's easiest."

Emily slammed the steering wheel. "Right on, Grandma D! That's what I'm talkin' about." Emily always called Ella's grandma by that name.

Sometimes Grandma called Emily _E_. She'd say, "How ya doing, E? How's one of my favorite gals?"

Ella looked at Emily and rolled her eyes.

"She's right you know." Emily pulled into the school parking lot.

"So you don't think I'm doing the right thing?" Ella asked.

Emily turned off the car. "I think you should talk to Trey. He'll be leaving soon for basic training, El. This is the guy you'd planned to spend the rest of your life with. You owe it to him to at least listen to what he has to say."

Ella wasn't happy about Trey going into the Marines, mostly because she thought he was doing it for the wrong reasons. She figured he wanted to be a Marine like his older brother, so his dad would be proud of him. Ella knew Trey felt as if he could never measure up to Tom, no matter how hard he worked in school or at his part-time job at his dad's garage.

Ella closed the car door and flung her backpack over her boney shoulder. "I'll think about it. Maybe you're right."

* * *

Ella usually only saw Trey during lunch at school. She watched him making a salad, then he carried his tray to an empty table. He didn't see Ella until he sat down.

A part of Ella wanted to sit beside Trey and a part of her didn't. She was all mixed up inside. She loved him. She knew that. But she needed to _not_ love him. She needed to _not_ need him, or want him, or care about him as deeply as she did. It was the only way to protect her heart. Then she remembered Grandma's note.

Always do the right thing. It might not be what's easiest.

She could hear Grandma's voice in her head, stressing the word _right_.

She wondered how long it had taken Grandma to write all of the notes, and how many boxes of stationery she had to buy, and if she'd had a hard time coming up with something new for each day. Probably not, knowing Grandma.

Ella remembered when Grandma decided to keep a _thankful_ journal. Each day, she'd write something she was thankful for. After a year, Grandma had more things listed than there were days in a year.

The journal included things she'd expected, like Ella and Maddie. But Grandma also listed the sun and the rain, sugar cakes and pumpkin pies, books to read and music to sing. It was crazy, Ella thought. She'd listed so many things Ella would never have considered special. But Grandma considered everything listed in her journal gifts, and she'd been thankful she was blessed to have so many.

Ella finished making her salad and walked over to Trey. His gaze swallowed hers and his lips parted slightly, as if he wanted to speak but wasn't sure he should. Ella's heart felt like it was being squeezed.

She hated pushing him away, but she honestly thought it was for the best. Besides, she thought, Trey could have any girl he wanted. He was smart, funny, and kind. He was captain of the football team and co-captain of the basketball team—things he thought would make his dad proud. But his dad never came to any of his games. Too busy, he'd always say.

At each game, Ella would catch Trey searching the stands to see if his dad had changed his mind. But his dad never did. So Ella made sure she made up for it and yelled so much she left each game with a hoarse voice.

She bit her bottom lip. "Want to talk after school?"

Trey nodded and Ella left to join Emily at a nearby table just as Trey's best friend, Ben, joined him.

"Well?" Emily said. "What did you say to him?"

"I asked if we could talk after school. So I won't be riding home with you."

"Good," Emily said. "Grandma D would be very happy."

# CHAPTER THREE

Trey leaned against Ella's locker. He checked his cell phone. Ten minutes had passed since the bell rang. Ella should be at her locker by now. He wondered if she'd changed her mind about meeting him. He hoped not, but if she had, he wouldn't push her. The more he pushed the more she pulled away.

No, he'd give her the time and space she needed no matter how frustrated he became. Seeing Ella but not being with her was like having an incredible gift in front of him that he wasn't allowed to open. But he knew his Ella, and if he started to tug at the ribbon on the gift, she'd pull it tighter. Better to let her loosen the ribbon when she was ready than let it become a knot.

Trey stared into space, thinking. It wasn't until the smell of Ella's sweet, musky perfume drifted toward him that he realized she was near. He turned and his heart fluttered. She was the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen.

He loved the way her curly blonde hair tumbled over her narrow shoulders. The way her green eyes, dusted with specks of gold, shimmered when they caught the light. And her smile. Ella's beautiful, contagious smile warmed Trey in a way nothing else ever had.

He missed that smile. Longed for it to return, and silently wondered if it ever would. He didn't want Ella to become like his dad, hardened by life and always angry at the world.

"Sorry, Trey," Ella said. "Ms. Ort wanted to talk to me after class. She'd like me to enter this writing contest." Ella handed Trey the flyer Ms. Ort had given her.

"That's great, El."

Ella shrugged. "I guess so. It's just that, well, I'm not sure what to write."

"Write about life. Isn't that what your grandma always told you?"

As soon as Trey mentioned Ella's grandma, he wished he hadn't. Ella's eyes filled with tears, and a renegade drop streaked down her pale, white cheek.

Trey changed the subject. "Heard from Tom last night. Said things are going well."

Ella fumbled with her lock. "Great. I'm glad he's safe."

Tom was in the war zone in Afghanistan and everyone worried about him.

Trey's eyes scanned the back of Ella's locker door. It was plastered with photos of the two of them. His eyes zeroed in on the black-and-white strip of photos they'd taken at the mall. Trey would never forget that day. It was the first day they'd kissed. The first time they each said I love you.

It started out as a typical mall day, like so many others they'd shared over the years. They'd go to the mall, hang out in the arcade, check out their favorite stores, and grab a bite to eat. Each had felt as if their friendship was turning into something more, but neither wanted to say anything.

Ella figured Trey thought of her as the sister he never had, and Trey thought Ella would forever see him as the kid with the runny nose she was always giving tissues to.

They'd met in a grief program for kids after Ella lost her family and Trey lost his mom.

Getting their photos taken in the booth was Ella's idea. She wanted pictures to put in her scrapbook. So they jumped into the photo booth and made goofy faces while the camera flashed away. Trey made Ella laugh so hard that her stomach hurt and her cheek muscles ached. No one else could make Ella laugh the way Trey could.

Then it happened.

He'd lifted her face, she'd stopped laughing, and their lips touched. Neither one had ever kissed anyone before, so it was a little clumsy at first. They didn't know quite what to do.

Their front teeth bumped. Trey bit Ella's lip by accident. She turned one way and he another. It hadn't quite worked the way it was supposed to, but eventually they figured it out and were off and running—they just needed to learn to take breaths, but they eventually figured that out, too.

Ella had said it first. "I think I love you. I mean, _really_ love you. Like, more than a friend."

That's all it took for Trey to open up and share what was in his heart. How much he missed his mom and how hurt he'd been by his dad. And how much he cared for Ella. Their childhood friendship had turned into teenage love.

Trey remembered the day Ella had taped the photo strip to her locker. "Things aren't always black-and-white," she'd said. "Even when you think they are. Life has a lot of gray, too."

"But it also has a lot of color," Trey had told her. Their relationship certainly wasn't black-and-white, or gray. Not anymore. With a turn of life's kaleidoscope, a new pattern had emerged—one filled with vibrant bits of color that made them dizzy, and crazy, and fearful, and drunk with happiness all at the same time.

"I texted Maddie and told her I wouldn't be home right after school." Ella closed her locker and whipped her backpack over her right shoulder. "I didn't want her to worry."

Trey nodded. "I figured we'd go to our _talking_ place."

The corners of Ella's mouth curled up. It wasn't much of a smile, but it was a start. Their _talking_ place was the swings in the park. When she and Trey were little, they'd challenge each other to see who could swing the highest. Trey pumped his legs much faster than Ella and always won. Then Ella, who hated losing, would challenge Trey to jump off the swing in mid-air to see who could jump farther. But Trey always beat Ella at that, too.

"There has to be something I can beat you at," she'd say. Trey just smiled. Then one day, he let Ella win. But instead of being happy about it, Ella's blood boiled. She'd caught the smirk on Trey's face as he turned, and realized he hadn't tried.

"I want to win on my own, fair and square," she'd told him. "None of this let-Ella-win-so-she-feels-better crap."

She missed those carefree swinging days, when her biggest responsibilities were making her bed and feeding King David, the goldfish she'd won at the state fair.

She still remembered when King David died. She found him floating in the fish bowl and screamed so loudly her lungs hurt. Her sobbing startled Grandma, and she'd dropped a dish, sending glass shards flying across the kitchen floor.

Grandma had insisted on a funeral service for King David. She'd turned a small, white jewelry box into a tiny casket complete with purple velvet lining. Then she'd made a grave marker out of a piece of wood. _Here lies King David. May he rest in peace,_ she'd written.

Maddie had attended the funeral service and read a passage from the Bible. Grandma sang _Jesus Loves Me,_ and talked about how much she loved watching King David swim around his bowl, and what a beautiful fish he was, and how happy he'd made Ella. Maddie said King David was the best fish she'd ever met and how glad she was to have had the opportunity to know him.

When the sharing was over, Ella placed King David's casket in the tiny hole Grandma had dug in the backyard beneath the cherry tree. It was a beautiful ceremony, and Grandma told Ella she could get a new goldfish if she wanted. But Ella didn't want another fish. She wanted King David.

Funny, Ella thought, how memories are like water rushing back to the ocean. If one wasn't careful, the memories could carry them away. The mind's sea is a wondrous place, Ella thought, but also a dangerous one. Beware of drowning in memories. And beware of getting caught in a riptide of fear. Ella knew that she shouldn't panic and swim against the riptide. That only made her tired. She wondered if that's what she was doing now, fighting the riptide instead of swimming parallel to the shore until she could get past the edge and return to the safety of life's beach.

* * *

When Trey and Ella arrived at the park, it was empty.

"Race you to the swings," Trey said.

And Ella, never one to back down from a challenge, started running. But Trey did what he always did—he beat her.

"One of these days," she said, "I'll beat you at something."

They sat on the swings. Ella turned hers side-to-side and Trey kept his still. Each waited for the other to speak.

"Trey."

"El."

They both spoke at once.

"You go first," Ella said.

Trey took a deep breath. "I don't know where to start, El. You know that I love you. Know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. That will never change. But you keep pushing me away. I'm not sure what you want anymore."

"Time," Ella said. "I want time. Time to heal. Time to figure things out. I love you, too. That hasn't changed. But losing Grandma..." Ella sniffed. "Losing Grandma, well, I don't know if I could stand losing you, losing anyone I cared about that much ever again." Ella looked down at the ground. She couldn't bear seeing the pain in Trey's chocolate eyes.

"So that's what this is about?" Trey asked. "You're pushing me away because you think it'll be easier if something happens to me? Look at me, Ella." Trey put his hand under Ella's chin and lifted her head. "Don't do this. Don't do this to us. We've been through so much together. I need you. I want to know when I go away you'll be waiting for me at home."

Ella kicked the ground. "Why'd you have to go in the service anyhow? We're in a war and you're freakin' going in the service. It's a stupid idea. You could be killed and end up in an urn like Grandma—nothing but a bag of white ashes. Why couldn't you have gone to college?"

"We've been over this time and time again," Trey said. "You know why I'm doing this."

"Well, you're never going to please your dad, Trey. No matter how hard you try. Why can't you just let this go? Why can't you see that? You've spent your entire life trying to live up to his expectations. Trying to make him proud and happy. It's never going to happen. Not because you're not an awesome person, because you are. He's just too broken to fix. I don't want you to become broken, too."

Ella burst into tears. They were like lava, bubbling and churning for so long they just had to come out.

"I won't be broken if I have you," Trey said. "Look, school's over soon. A few weeks after that, I leave for Parris Island. Can we just take it slow? No pressure. I'll give you time. I just don't want to lose you. I need you now more than ever."

Ella thought about one of Grandma's notes. _Don't be afraid to love._ In the note, Grandma told Ella not to give up on love. That she shouldn't let the fear of losing someone stop her from loving them.

"Okay. No pressure. I have a lot of things I need to work through."

Trey hugged Ella. "Thanks, El. Take the time you need. I'm not going anywhere."

"You're going to Parris Island," Ella muttered.

"You know what I mean," Trey said. "I'm not going anywhere emotionally."

Ella knew what Trey had meant, but she couldn't stop herself from getting another jab in. She pumped her legs. "Let's see who can swing the highest."

Despite a late start, Trey quickly passed Ella and flew higher and higher. Ella smiled as she remembered another Grandma note.

Soar as high as you are able.

Grandma hadn't meant it in the literal sense, but Ella smiled just the same.

Look for Ella's Rain at all major eBook retailers, or learn more at the Prism Book Group website at: http://www.prismbookgroup.com!

# ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Buffy Andrews is an author, blogger, journalist and social media maven.

By day she's a journalist, leading an award-winning team at the York Daily Record/Sunday News where she is Assistant Managing Editor of Social Media and Engagement.

In addition to her writing blog, Buffy's Write Zone, she maintains a social media blog, Buffy's World.

She is also a newspaper and magazine columnist and writes middle-grade, young adult and women's fiction.

She lives in southcentral Pennsylvania with her husband, Tom; two sons, Zach and Micah; and wheaten cairn terrier Kakita. She is grateful for their love and support and for reminding her of what's most important in life.

### Thank you for your Prism Book Group purchase! Visit our website to enjoy free reads, great deals, and entertaining, wholesome fiction!

http://www.prismbookgroup.com

