(rooster crowing)
(animal roaring)
- Welcome to Good M<ythical More.
- 10 word story!
- Slowly.
- Mark (laughs).
- Philosophized.
- About.
- Tricky.
- Ways.
- To.
- Boink (chuckles).
- Oh, come on (laughs).
You have to have a way you gotta boink?
A.
This is it.
- Oh, boy, I gotta be good.
- You boinked yourself.
- I gotta do good.
- You boinked yourself.
- Dragons (laughs).
- Slowly Mark philosophized
about tricky ways to boink a dragons.
That is happening.
At any given point, there
are many Marks out there--
- But he's slowly doing it.
- Slowly--
- Here's the thing.
- Philosophizing.
- He's in like a D & D group, Mark is--
- Oh, don't bring D &-
- I'm just telling you.
- Don't throw D & D under--
- I got nothing against D & D.
- The bus for boinking dragons.
- But I'm saying that--
- They don't boink dragons.
- Mark is in a D & D group
and we learned recently,
'cause we've never done D & D,
we have a friend who does
and we learned recently
that they actually like do the role play
and they like go and they do voices.
- I didn't know that
they assumed characters.
- [Stevie] Guys, you're sounding
so out of touch right now.
You also said, "do D & D,"
like it was like a drug
of some sort.
- D & D is not something to
be out of touch about because
it's been around forever.
- What, you have D & D?
- How can you be out of touch about D.
We just don't know about D & D,
but it's not a trendy thing.
- Do you try D & D?
What do you do?
- You play it.
- Yeah, you play it.
- Play D & D?
- Yeah.
- You dungeon and dragon,
they're both verbs.
- We got a friend who plays D & D
and--
- Oh, gosh.
- They do the voices and
I could totally see Mark
as like he's doing a voice like this
and then all of a sudden he's like,
"And then the dragon caressed his thigh
"and he was like 'mm'".
And then the next thing you know,
Mark is slowly philosophizing
about ways to boink dragons.
- I think what Rhett is saying
is that when he plays D & D,
his character's name is Mark.
- Yeah, I'm Mark.
- So--
- And I've got 12 ways to boink dragons.
It's my new book.
But it's only being released
in the world of Dungeons & Dragons.
- Draw your card because we are going to,
don't show it to me.
- Hoo hoo!
This is actually bringing back--
- Okay, I've got to--
- Bad memories from my childhood.
- All right--
- I'll explain when I try--
- Okay, is that a hint?
So I'ma try to guess what your sculpting
using peanut butter and then I'm gonna--
- Oh, hoo hoo, whoa, whoa.
We got a sandwich and a note from mom.
- This is great by the way.
This is--
- Oh, don't sculpt yet.
- What's added to it?
Well, there's no time limit.
- "We love you both so much,
"don't drink each other's wee wee again.
"Love, your moms."
(crew laughing)
Who kissed it?
- [Chase] That was me.
- Yeah, of course it was.
- But our moms collectively
wrote that, right?
Oh, gosh, I don't if--
- You know what?
I don't need any more PB&J, thanks Chase.
- I don't know if mine's gonna hold up.
- [Stevie] I thought,
Rhett, you were referencing,
when we did that blind
Pictionary, blind sculpting,
and you were trying to make
the rocket, you remember that?
- Oh, yeah, well, I'm not
gonna make any rockets.
I don't care how many dragons
I want you guys to boink
and the 12 ways that you
could do it (laughs).
- Look at this.
- I'm not gonna make any,
whoa, going high, huh?
When you go high, I go low (chuckles).
- This is, hmm, that it--
- I'm not using any of my tools.
Yet.
- So you make--
- I gotta pull off some.
- Mine needs heighth but--
- I gotta pull of some of these.
I gotta, this is for later.
- It's a little-
- Just set that right there.
- I'm just concerned that it might,
mines very greasy.
Very greasy.
Okay, so we got that.
How the heck am I gonna do this?
You seem to know what you're going for.
- [Rhett] Don't look at mine!
- I just wanna eat this (chomps).
- Oh, we'll eat it when we're done.
For sure.
- How do, this is...
- If you're gonna sculpt
with peanut butter at home--
- How do I do this?
- A great way to do it--
- What does it even look like?
- Is to put powdered sugar
into your peanut butter
to create a different consistency.
- Okay, this is--
- The first way to boink a dragon
is just to sneak up on it.
- Well, you want consent, you jerk.
(Rhett laughing)
Don't do that, you don't
sneak up on a dragon.
- I'm just speaking in terms,
it's all (laughing).
First of all, I'm roll
playing as a Mark, okay?
And I'm talking about
something that doesn't exist.
- But you still gotta talk about it
in a way that's acceptable.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I sneak up on the dragon
and then just tap it
on the shoulder and say,
"would you like to boink?"
- You assume that the
dragon can speak English?
- Oh, this one can.
- Oh, gosh.
(Rhett laughing)
You know what I've done--
- I'm sorry, man, it all started
when Link said philosophizing.
- So all of this goes away.
- What in the hell is
happening over there?
- I'm sculpting.
I don't know what you're doing.
Yours is easy, man.
- Yeah, it is.
- Yours is a sea turtle.
- Well, hold on, hold on.
I mean, I'm not done yet, man.
- Mine is a bit more
challenging than that.
- Now I gotta get into details,
just in case you don't
see what's going on.
Okay, I've got to--
- I believe I can do this.
It's not gonna be easy but--
- Okay, I gotta--
- I believe I can do it.
I really want that PB&J burrito.
That carne asada burrito,
that thing was amazing.
Okay, now, let's see, check this out.
It just looks like I have
a bunch of dookie logs.
- [Rhett] That's what I was thinking.
- Like when me freaking,
it's like my freaking dog eats something
that she's not supposed to eat
and then she sneaks off
to a part of the house
where were not watching
her and she just like,
just leaves a juicy turd.
- Oh, god.
The first thing you gotta do
is you gotta go where dragons are.
Really.
- Dragons that are up for anything.
- Right, dragons like to party.
- All right, I'm done.
- Dragons like to party.
- Right here.
Now Rhett--
- [Rhett] I know.
- Look at that.
Now, what made it look like
a pile of dog diarrhea to you
is actually my passion, my sculpting.
So clearly you're making a sea turtle.
- No, actually, this is a dragon.
- You drew the easy one.
- This is a dragon that fell from the sky
when its wings were plucked off--
- Mm, this tastes good.
- During Mark's escapades.
- Now, can you go ahead and
look at mine and guess it
before...
(Rhett laughing)
Look at that.
- That's what happens
when you pull the wings
off of a dragon and it falls
from a high altitude choo,
it looks like a turtle.
- I'ma get rid of all this.
None of this is needed.
That's gonna hold up my sculpture though.
- It's actually much easier to
get some kind of information
from looking at that,
looking at the monitor,
and then looking directly at it.
When I look directly at it,
I just see a pile of dog crap.
- He's melting.
- But like a dog that needs
to see the vet immediately.
Like a dog that got into something.
- Right, but that's not what this is.
- This looks like a mother and child.
Like--
- Well, you're on to something, but--
- Like the Madonna.
- That is not a child,
that's just a chest.
- A bosom, it's a breast feeding baby.
- There's no baby,
but I know why you're thinking that.
I'ma say that big thing
right there is an arm.
- Oh, and that big thing
that comes up and goes around
and has a ball on the
end, that's another arm?
- Yeah, that's an arm, too.
And that's your head.
- All right.
- And these are the legs.
- That is a woman holding up one breast.
- Ignore this.
Ignore that, this is not,
that's not part of it.
Let me push that--
- Yeah, you made the breast way too big.
Okay.
That is Mark.
- [Link] I'll even put nipples
on it because, you know what?
The nipples are visible.
Look at that, see that?
- [Rhett] That is a shirtless man.
- [Link] Yes.
- [Rhett] Flipping the bird.
- [Link] Close.
- [Rhett] Hailing a cab?
- Nope, but look.
Here's his head, wake up.
And there's his arm.
- He's really lost a lot of
composure in the just the--
- There he is right there.
- Just the last two to three minutes.
- Now look at that.
You can get it now, man.
- He's listening?
- Ooh, what's he doing?
- He's talking on the phone.
- Oh, where's his hand?
- He's texting.
- Where's his hand?
- Where's his hand?
- [Rhett] On his ear.
- [Link] Nope, his ear's right here.
- [Rhett] He's eating.
- [Link] Oh, where's it, not really.
It's lower than that.
I mean--
- He's choking himself.
- Oh, very close.
- He's putting Vapor Rub on.
- He's got his hand in a choking place,
but he's not choking.
- He's caressing his own throat?
- And I think these legs
are in the wrong position.
So I'm gonna take this
leg and I'ma put it,
I'ma bend it back like that.
- It's Mark caressing his own throat.
- Actually, it should be a,
I think that there's a knee in the air.
- Because he was turned
down by the local dragon.
- His hand's under his chin.
His hand's under his chin!
- He's thinking.
(Link gasps)
Oh, it's Atlas.
- It's The Thinker.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, The Thinker, holding,
he holds up the world, right?
- Ooh, he's thinking, it's Atlas.
No, it's The Thinker.
- The Thinker.
Yeah, The Thinker.
- Oh, you made me destroy my work.
I have to start over.
I start with one dookie log.
- Now, let me just quickly
just talk about the trauma
that I had as a child because my family,
we were at the beach, North Carolina,
and my mom and dad said,
"Hey, we're gonna make sand
castles or sand creatures."
And somebody said, "Let's make a turtle."
And then they had an idea
about how they wanted to do their turtle,
and I got really upset and they were like,
"Well, make your own turtle."
And then I went over and made a turtle
and it was even worse than
how bad this turtle is.
And then the three of my
other family members made
an awesome turtle and
there's just pictures of me
next to my dumb, very low detailed turtle,
and then my other family members
next to their amazing turtle
that looks like it might
actually be a turtle,
but it's not, it's just a sand thing.
And I've been mad about it ever since!
That's good.
(crew laughing)
Link?
(upbeat music)
That tastes like (beep).
(crew laughing)
We have not one, but three
new GMM mugs this season.
Collect them all at mythical.com.
