>> SO THERE YOU HAVE IT.
I WAS FIVE MILES AWAY FROM THAT
BAR PLAYING POKER WITH HIS
FRIEND, MR. BIRD, THE NIGHT OF
THE MURDER.
YEAH.
THAT'S IT.
I REST MY CASE.
>> ALL RIGHT, JURORS.
YOU'VE HEARD OPENING STATEMENTS
FROM BOTH THE DEFENSE AND THE
PROSECUTION.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
MR. DOUGLAS, YOU MAY NOW CALL
YOUR FIRST WITNESS.
>> THE PROSECUTION CALLS
GREGORY SHARPE TO THE STAND.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> HOLD ON.
EXCUSE ME, MR. DOUGLAS.
HAS ANYONE EVER TOLD YOU THAT --
WELL, FRANKLY, YOU HAVE THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL EYELASHES?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THANK YOU, YOUR HONOR.
>> I MEAN, THIS CAN'T BE THE
FIRST TIME YOU'RE HEARING THIS,
RIGHT?
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> IT'S NOT, YOUR HONOR.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WOW.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHAT A PICKLE TO BE YOU, HUH?
[ LAUGHTER ]
WALKING AROUND TOWN, BRINGING
SPRING WHEREVER YOU GO.
>> YOUR HONOR, CAN WE CALL THE
WITNESS, PLEASE?
>> OF COURSE.
BAILIFF.
>> DO YOU SWEAR TO TELL THE
TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND --
NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH.
WOW.
[ LAUGHTER ]
UM, I'M SORRY.
IT'S JUST, UM, I'M LOSING MY
TRAIN OF THOUGHT.
>> MR. SHARP, WHERE WERE YOU ON
THE NIGHT OF THE 7TH?
>> LIKE I TOLD THE COPS, IT WAS
POKER NIGHT, AND I WAS PLAYING
POKER WITH MY BUDDIES.
>> INCLUDING MR. BIRD?
>> YEAH, HE WAS THERE.
>> SO YOU ARE GOING TO LOOK ME
IN THE EYE, THESE EYES AND TELL
YOU HE WAS WITH YOU THAT NIGHT?
ALL NIGHT?
>> I, UM, WELL --
>> ALL NIGHT?
>> IT WAS POKER.
>> MR. SHARP, WAS IT THEN?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> UM, WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME
TO SAY?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I WANT YOU TO LOOK AT ME --
>> COME ON, MAN.
>> AND TELL ME THE TRUTH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> HE WASN'T WITH ME.
HE'S WAS ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT
KILLING PEOPLE.
>> COME ON, MAN!
NO FURTHER QUESTIONS.
>> OBJECTION.
WHAT IS THIS WITH THE EYELASHES?
I'M APPALLED BY THE PROSECUTION
HERE.
>> APPALLED OR JEALOUS?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> APPALLED.
THIS IS NOT FAIR.
>> FINE.
THE JURY WILL DO THEIR BEST TO
NOT BE INFLUENCED BY THE
PROSECUTION'S GORGEOUS, INVITING
LASHES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND THEY WILL ALSO DISREGARD THE
FACT THAT THE DEFENSE'S LASHES
ARE CLUMPY AND UNREMARKABLE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> FINE, THANK YOU.
MR. SHARP, WHEN YOU WERE
QUESTIONED BY POLICE, YOU STATED
THAT MR. BIRD JOINED YOU FOR
POKER NIGHT AT YOUR APARTMENT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IN FACT, HE CAME TO YOUR PLACE
EARLY TO HELP YOU GET UP.
YOU EVEN HAD LEFTOVER BEERS YOU
BROUGHT THAT NIGHT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
NOW, I'M SORRY, BUT --
MY GOD!
[ LAUGHTER ]
OKAY, NOW HE IS DIRECTLY
INFLUENCING THE JURY.
>> THAT'S RIDICULOUS, YOUR
HONOR.
PERMISSION TO APPROACH THE
BENCH?
>> WELL, I WOULD LIKE TO VERY,
VERY MUCH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
OH, BOTH OF YOU.
>> I CAN GET YOU DISBARRED FOR
THIS, MANIPULATING A JURY.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
I'VE NEVER SEEN SOMEONE SO
BLATANTLY DISREGARD --
[ LAUGHTER ]
SO BLATANTLY DISREGARD PROTOCOL
IN SUCH A --
[ LAUGHTER ]
OH, MY.
UM.
THERE --
[ BREATHES HEAVILY ]
THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT YOU.
MAYBE IT'S YOUR UNORTHODOX
METHOD.
MAYBE IT'S THE WAY YOU CARRY
YOURSELF.
♪♪♪
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
