

### Young Annabelle

### (Y.A Series Book 1)

### By

### Sarah Tork

Copyright ©2013 Sarah Tork

Smashwords Edition

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return it and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author. This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, any place, events or occurrences, is purely coincidental. The characters and story lines are created from the author's imagination or are used fictitiously.

Images From: http://www.dreamstime.com/

### Table of Contents

Title Page

Copyright Page

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Sneak Peak: The Truth About James (Y.A Series Book 2)

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

About the Author

### Chapter 1

ANNABELLE

Friday September 7, 2012

Being Young didn't count as an excuse anymore....

Just breathe.

"What's wrong with me?" I sighed.

Jenna, my best friend, sighed as she rested comfortably on her bed. "Oh you know... the usual things. Multiple personalities, homicidal daydreaming, cross-dressing as our evil History teacher... you know.... the normal everyday stuff."

I leaned my head onto her mattress and twisted it so she could see me. I narrowed my eyes at her as she gave me an innocent 'What?' look.

I rolled my eyes. "Screw you! You're worse than I am."

"Anna?" Her voice suddenly changed from humorous to concerned. We came to her house right after school and she was going to bring up what happened at school today, no matter what.

I had no problem pretending it didn't happen.

Like she'd let that happen!

"Yeah?" I responded quietly, looking away.

"You okay?" she asked.

Am I okay? I thought. There was a reason why I wasn't crying like a blubbering idiot whose soul was just crushed right now.

I was out of it on purpose

"I'm not really feeling anything," I replied, lifelessly.

"You're feeling numb, aren't you? I'd be a total mess.... if that happened to me. I'd feel humiliated and disrespected__" As she rambled dramatically, I leaned my head back down onto her mattress and stared transfixed at the ceiling.

It was beautiful.

Last year her parents let her paint her room. The first thing she painted was a glow amidst a dark sky, with a million stars and comets scattered around. There had been a lot of sleepovers since then. Adding chill music to our peaceful minds, with the shadow of night, those were some good nights. I stared at the collection of stars and wished the sun away so that we could draw the blinds, shut the lights off, and allow our minds to wander.... carefree.

"You ready to talk about it?" Jenna whispered, making me cringe.

WHAT THE HELL!

"What's there to talk about? I was rejected, again. Simple!" My frustration exploded, her constant nagging to 'talk about it' finally pissing me off.

I didn't want to TALK ABOUT IT.

I didn't want to REMEMBER IT.

I wanted to forget it EVER HAPPENED.

And I couldn't do that if she kept FREAKING bringing it up every two seconds.

"It was not simple!" she snapped back, shuffling about on the bedspread, trying to contain her own anger about the whole situation. Her hostility, funnily enough, tugged at my heartstrings.

_That's what good friends are for. You feel pain, they feel pain._ _I shook my head thinking about that._ I didn't want her to feel bad. It wasn't her problem.

"Just forget about today, okay?" I pleaded. "Please."

She jerked herself up into a sitting position, her leg hitting the side of my head.

"Hey, watch it!" I yelped, grabbing the back of my head.

"No! I will not forget anything. That douchebag could have done things in a more respectful way. He didn't have to humiliate you in front of everyone!" she yelled, slamming her fists on her bed.

"Well it is what it is," I sighed. "And technically the only person he humiliated me in front of was you."

This conversation was absorbing the last ounces of life I had left in me.

"Oh my God, who the hell does James Lawson think he is? That ass douche. Just wait 'til school on Monday. I'm going to give him a piece of my mind in front of everyone!" she declared, loudly.

"Calm down!" I ordered, hoping to God she wouldn't do anything to make me feel even worse. "The feelings, the stupid situation, it'll all be over by Monday. You don't need to show anyone anything."

"Yeah, okay, we'll see." she said, a touch quieter.

My stomach knotted.

I knew this girl better than she knew herself.

I looked at her and was gifted with another innocent 'What?' face. I shook my head, desperately trying to enforce some ground control in the matter, since it was about me. But she just shrugged and rested back down.

Great, just great.

With Jenna, " _We'll see_ " meant, "That's for damn sure".

Now, Monday would definitely be a day I wouldn't be looking forward to....... AT ALL.

_What does poison ivy look like again? Perhaps_ _getting infected by a sudden rash will be a good enough excuse to stay home on Monday._

_Here's hoping._

_*~*~*_

Monday appeared in a blink of an eye.

I woke up with a freaking headache.

I pulled back my blanket and swung my legs out of bed. A jolt surged through me as my feet hit the cold, wooden floor. It brought me back to Earth, reminding me that the day could go one of two ways, both of which were up to Jenna. I headed straight for the bathroom across the hall where my scale was patiently awaiting me.

Five minutes later...

"ANNABELLE!"

I dropped my toothbrush back into its holder and went to the doorway, bypassing the mean machine, its numbered face glaring up at me from the floor.

"I'm not ready, Mom!" I yelled down the hallway before returning to my room.

"You're going to be late! Hurry!" She yelled, bypassing my room.

I stood in front of my floor-length mirror, checking how my pajamas looked on my body. They had a purple and red heart pattern across them. A little babyish if you asked me. They were also old and not my size. Mom had bought them over a year ago in the hopes that they'd fit one day. I wasn't there yet, much to her disappointment.

"Yeah, whatever. It is what it is," I declared to my reflection.

I opened up my closet. Determined to find an amazing outfit, I sorted through my selection and pulled multiple things out. I laid them out on my bed and took a step back to observe. I had to make the right decision. Today was definitely not the day to look like crap.

I picked up my dark blue skinny jeans and tight black shirt that went passed my hips. I checked my reflection after changing clothes.

_Not bad._

Feeling like mom was going to give me a hard time for how tight my shirt was, I slipped on a white zippered hoodie.

_She w_ _ould have said something like...._ _"It's a little tight.... it makes your breasts stand out more. Doesn't that bother you?_ "

I lived with my family in Orlando, Florida. We lived in the Royal Heights district. I walked to school every single day, rarely getting rides from my parents unless it rained. I enjoyed walking though. It gave me time to think while burning off the calories from breakfast. My best friend Jenna was model-skinny. She didn't need to burn calories so her parents willingly drove her everywhere. If it wasn't raining and I asked my parents for a ride, they'd just get annoyed with me.

So I just didn't ask. It wasn't worth it.

I was also on a diet and I had my very own 24/7 food monitor.

My mom.

For a few months now, she'd been controlling what I could and couldn't eat.

My hunger pains always got the better of me though, especially at night when everyone went to sleep. Maybe that was why I'd only managed to lose ten pounds so far. The disappointment my mom felt about my slow weight loss roamed freely in our household and was a topic we all discussed regularly.

My mom yearned to take me shopping for new smaller-sized clothing, but I was still wearing a size ten. Unfortunately for her, the weight I'd managed to lose wasn't enough to strip my wardrobe clean and refill with single-digit sizes. I needed to lose another ten pounds to do that.

Apparently.

I wasn't "fat", but I wasn't "small" either. At 5'7" and weighing 165 pounds, I carried most of the weight around my belly and thighs. Aside from these two unfortunate places, there was one other place where the weight gathered..... MY BOOBS!

But the excess in that area wasn't as much of a problem as the other areas, especially after my neck lost some flab and gained definition. My boobs became a more noticeable, desirable, part of my body instead of one giant blob.

Mom's silent look spoke volumes when I dared to wear something slightly tighter than usual. I knew she thought larger girls should stick with clothes that didn't cling to their bodies. Nobody wanted to see all that skin jiggle back and forth.

But my skin didn't jiggle like crazy. I had a little extra in the belly department and some love handles that tipped over the edge of my skinny jeans. Mom thought skinny jeans didn't look right on me.

"If you want to wear the clothes teenagers wear, then you'd better lose the weight first."

"Do you want to look ridiculous?"

"Do you want everyone to laugh at you?"

"Nobody wants to see that!"

In her eyes, the issue was simple: if you ever became fat you'd better make sure you lost the weight just as fast. Exercise more, eat half as much, and take responsibility for your actions. Continuing to embarrass yourself in public was inexcusable and an insult to the entire family. It was all so simple.

Well, it wasn't simple and as much as I wanted to lose all the weight, to make her happy and get her off my back once and for all, I couldn't.

I was hungry all the time.

Fifteen minutes into the trek to school, I felt I was a safe enough distance from my house that I could finally pull out my emergency stash. I stopped walking and swung my backpack to my front, unzipping a hidden compartment in the bottom and pulling out a small plastic bag full of pretzels and chips.

Aside from telling my mom how many calories I burned every day, today in particular I had to tell her my weight. She wasn't happy with my number and decided that "Anna Banana" could only have half a bowl of flax seed-and-twigs cereal with a quarter cup of skim milk.

The milk made her eyes practically bulge! I smiled to myself as I remembered Mom's face when I began pouring the milk.

I was starving.

I needed fuel!

My mouth was salivating before the first chip-pretzel combination emerged from the baggie. As it hit my tongue, my teeth crunched the salty goodness – it felt like a thousand fireworks ignited inside of me.

It wasn't healthy, nourishing food, but it hit the spot. I felt the salt rush in my bloodstream, sending a buzz through my entire body. The horrible mood my mom inflicted on me earlier slowly disappeared as each morsel of goodness made its way down to my belly.

What could I say.... I liked to eat.

I was a senior at Royal Heights High School. In eight months I'd be graduating and moving out. Technically I could move out on April 3rd, when I turned eighteen, but I thought I would give my parents this one last thing before I evaporated from their lives completely. They won't even know I've left until they come home to my empty room. My younger siblings, Charles and Katherine, thirteen and eleven respectively, were also being kept in the dark about my plans. They had big mouths and were child versions of my parents – who loved and adored them – they shared the "fat is bad" mentality.

Not much longer.

My walk was coming to an end. The mountainous school was within sight.

Last Friday, Jenna promised to serve James a can of whoop-ass in front of the entire school. I hoped she forgot all about it. I wanted no drama today.

I stopped in front of a long set of stairs that led to my schools front entrance. I stared up to the landing at the top and noticed a guy sitting alone.

_Well look who came to talk!_

I skipped the first two steps and ran the rest of the way up. I never understood why the city decided to build a school on top of a hill. I crossed the last step and hit the flat concrete terrace. Sitting on the edge of the planter by the door was supposed to be someone that cared about me.

But that wasn't the case at all.

The odd thing was, he was waiting for me.

Fifteen minutes early.

"Fireball," he said, smiling down at me as I approached.

And as cocky as ever!

He thought he could smile and I'd come running back like the girl I was last summer....

No thank you.

That wasn't going to happen.

"James," I replied, emotionless.

The smile quickly evaporated into a scowl. He grabbed his backpack and gracefully pushed himself off the ledge on to the terrace.

"Where's my morning kiss, Fireball?" James demanded, taking long strides and coming to a stop right in front of me.

I stood still. This guy was going to get nothing from me.

How about NO!

Before I had a chance to say anything, his arms wrapped around my waist and I was lifted off the terrace. His warm, plump lips crashed down onto mine, kissing me passionately with an open mouth. His strong fingers dug into my waist, pulling me tighter into his heated embrace.

I couldn't breathe.

I couldn't think.

How the hell was I going to get myself out of this?

Chapter 2

ANNABELLE

Wednesday August 1, 2012

6 weeks earlier....

"ANNABELLE!" Mom screamed from the kitchen as I opened the front door to leave.

"What?" I yelled, facing the kitchen.

Mom came running out with a purple lunch box I last remembered using when I was eight.

UGH! Great...

"You forgot your lunch, sweetie," she told me breathlessly.

Sweetie?

"Yeah okay, thanks Mom," I muttered, glancing at the floor to hide my disappointment. I didn't forget my lunch, but I'd hoped Mom would have. I wanted to buy food from work today.

"Don't forget to eat the snacks I packed during each of your fifteen-minute breaks, okay? We have to follow the plan properly, just like the nutritionist said, or else we're not going to get those amazing results." She pressed annoyingly after pushing the lunchbox into my bag.

I took a moment to suppress my volatile emotions. Mom and her "amazing results" could shove it.

"No worries, snacks during mini breaks got it," I assured, stepping outside.

"And the meal," she continued, "you have to eat all of it, or else your body will go into shock from being so hungry__"

"Mom, I got it." I interrupted.

God she was annoying. I quickly slammed the door shut before she had a chance to snap back at me for being rude.

"Annabelle!" I heard her yell through the door as I dashed to the wooden gate that led to our backyard, grabbing my green and black bike from behind it.

I always rode my bike to work. The feeling I'd get while riding down to work was exhilarating. It felt as if I was flying. If only that feeling could become a reality and I could be like E.T. and fly away on my bike to a place where I felt safe and at home. I wanted to go to a place where I wouldn't be reminded every second of every day that I needed to lose weight.

"Yo, Anna!" a familiar voice called out.

I pushed down on my brakes and dropped my feet from the pedals, stopping the bike completely. I gazed at the bottom of the hill I was about to soar down and saw Jenna waving her arm next to the bike docks at Royal Heights Country Club. We both worked there. I spent my days outside in the blazing heat, manning the lemonade stand next to the golf course, and she worked in air-conditioned bliss doing administration work at the reception desk. When we applied for positions here we'd hoped to get placed together, working at one of the stands they had outside.

That didn't happen.

We were split up immediately. Not surprisingly, they put her on front desk reception. Jenna was beautiful and had a great body from swimming competitively all her life. I, on the other hand, was decent looking (totally cute according to Jenna) but my body was not slim, so they stuck me outside at the lemonade stand where I squeezed lemons all day, making thirst-quenching lemonade for rich people.

Speaking of rich people, I'd better move it before I became late.

I pedaled forward, but as I hit the curve where I'd fly down, a shiny black SUV rolled beside me. I stalled for a few seconds to let it go down the hill first.

I liked space when I was on my hill.

When I flew, I did it alone, and that meant no cars trailing beside me, ruining the one moment I looked forward to each time I went to work. The SUV took its chance and went rolling down the hill, cautious and slow. As soon as it rounded the corner, stopping in front of the valet stand, I glanced quickly behind me for any incoming cars.

No cars.

Check.

I pedaled forward and gravity did the rest. I sped down the hill at speeds that would have made even a fearless person scream. I didn't scream. I hollered in joy as I released my handlebars and held my arms out to dance against the wind as I soared.

Fly!

If I could have, I'd have closed my eyes too.

"Hold your brakes!" Jenna screamed as I came charging towards her. I shook my head, laughing 'menacingly' at her.

"Damn it! Anna, brakes!" she pleaded as she dove out of the way.

I depressed my brakes a fraction and the bike slowed down a little. "Relax!" I teased Jenna as I came to a complete stop in front of an empty spot at the dock.

Jenna walked around the dock as I got off my bike. "You almost crushed me!" She 'cried' as I bent down to lock up my bike.

"Almost," I grinned. "But you're still here, safe and sound."

I straightened and shoved the key into my backpack's front pocket. She scowled angrily at me, but it only lasted for two seconds before a wide grin broke out of her steel frown.

"Bitch," she muttered, linking her arm through mine, pulling me towards the employee entrance of the club.

"Scaredy cat," I retorted.

Her shoulder bumped against mine, making me stumble.

"Hey!" I laughed as she continued to drag me. "I see you're resorting to physical violence now."

"Just keeping you in line, buddy." She gave me a knowing grin and laughed.

We rounded the corner, passing the valet stand. The employee entrance was tucked around the corner to the member entrance but, surprisingly, the bike dock was out front. Who else besides employees would ride a bike to a country club?

My eyes widened when I noticed the black SUV idling by the employee entrance. Usually that kind of car either utilized the valet or they were dropping off someone at the front entrance.

"What do you think that's all about?" Jenna asked quietly. She, too, was perplexed at the sight of the expensive car back here.

"Don't know," I told her as we approached the door. I craned my neck to take one last look before going inside. The windows were tinted so I couldn't see anything. I heard the car lock click and I quickly twisted back around. Jenna and I unlinked arms and went into the change room.

*~*~*

An hour and a half later, I was back in the employee change room, opening the purple lunch box from my childhood.

My first break was only fifteen minutes. In this time I could use the bathroom, eat, socialize, rest or chill in the locker room. What I couldn't do was buy food in the club's restaurant because employees weren't allowed in there. The stands that offered food outside had yet to open. Mine was the only stand that opened early. Apparently it was never too early for freshly squeezed lemonade.

My stomach was growling and I knew that whatever mom had packed me wouldn't even come close to satisfying the hunger pains.

"Just great!" I muttered quietly as I peered in at what I would unfortunately be faced with consuming.

Mom had given me a banana. She was trying to be nutritious yet playful at the same time. I hadn't been called 'Anna Banana' in a while and the feeling of Mom and Dad attempting the whole 'we just want our baby girl to be healthy' thing was rubbing me the wrong way. My parents, especially my mom didn't do sweet and cuddly. They were in your face, rash, and to the point despite your feelings. At least that's how it'd been for the last few years. But recently, I'd been getting a few 'Sweetie's' and 'Sweethearts'. It freaked me out if I was being honest.

Banana. First break snack. Check.

For my second break, I pulled out a strawberry yogurt and turned it around so I could check the calories. Right under the nutritional information there was a red circle around total calories.

My mother's antics were driving me mad. Why would she feel the need to circle the information? The only thing calming me down was the fact that the entire yogurt was only 80 calories. Perhaps that was why it was circled; Mom thought it was an indulgence and a healthy choice at only 80 calories.

Pssttt......LOOK....LOOK...LOOOOOK..... at all the great diet choices I had....like this yogurt, which was only 80 calories. Gee, if I just continued to make great choices like this, well, I bet I'd be losing MORE weight in no time!

THANKS MOM! YOU'RE THE BEST!

I threw the yogurt in the trash. I was making a statement. And that was....DON'T MARK MY FOOD. The banana stayed though. It wasn't marked and I was hungry.

Plain and simple.

I glanced up at the clock. My break was almost over. I took out the banana and threw the lunch box back inside my locker. Half a minute later, the banana peel hit the trash and I was out the door.

*~*~*

"You're late," Shelby, the snack stand supervisor, said as I returned to my stand that still had the 'Be back in 15 minutes' sign up.

I glanced down at my watch. I was only thirty seconds late.

Those poor club members!

They had to wait a whole extra thirty seconds on top of the fifteen minutes I had for break. I was truly the most insensitive employee ever.

Not!

I glanced around, the lot was empty. My eyes circled back, catching the burn of Shelby's impatient glare. I was sick of people giving me glares. What the hell did she want? Maybe I had cramps. Maybe they were really bad. I wondered what she'd say if I divulged a detail like that as my reason for being late.

I'm not late, so suck it!

But I wasn't in the mood to start anything with her so I didn't fight it. It wasn't worth the second scowl she/he would give me, or the lengthy lecture about punctuality. And I was on my own today. The other girl, Denise, quit yesterday and they hadn't had time to find a replacement to work alongside me.

"Sorry," I said, watching her play with the papers on her clipboard. She grabbed the pencil from behind her ear and circled something on the sheets.

"You're training today."

"I'm training?" I repeated.

"Yep, got a newbie today. Young like you. Great, huh?" She tilted her head to the side, eyeing a guy lifting up a crate of lemons.

How did I not notice him there all this time?

"Yeah, that's great," I replied with sarcastic enthusiasm, watching the new guy carry the crate into the stand and set it on the table.

Shelby took that as an okay and left to bother one of the other snack stand operators.

I took down the break sign from the front of the stand. The new guy's back was still to me. He was tall.

Maybe 6'1"... 6'2"...

"Hey," he called out, jolting me out of my daze.

"Hey!" I practically shouted back. I instantly looked away, feeling embarrassed.

Great, I probably looked mental now.

I glanced at him briefly from the corner of my eye. His green eyes had widened at my volume and his expression read 'Whoa, what was that?'

THAT WAS ANNABELLE!

Did I mention I loved the color green?

Nervous butterflies began awakening in my lower stomach. I had made a hideous first impression. I used his stunned moment of taken aback-ness to quickly check him out.

He was definitely 6'2" now that I could fully see him – a sight I knew I'd be daydreaming about for days to come. Besides being the perfect amount of tall, his body was well-proportioned. His lean, muscled physique was evidenced by the way the club's black and green polo fit him.

Tight.....but not too tight.

The curves on his arms, chest, and back took on a life of their own. You'd need a map to guide you around those roadblocks. Only in my wildest dreams would I ever be given the chance to try navigating my way around so much man.

Geez! Like I'd ever get that map......damn.

Did I mention his hair? He had really nice hair. A dark brown mop flowed at an angle around his beautiful eyes, along the lines of Justin Bieber in his earlier days, but messier and way sexier.

My fingers needed a play-date with that hair.

Snap out of it, creep!

I shook my head subtly. I did not need him thinking I was a head-twitcher too.

I entered the stand, the crate of fresh lemons in between us. "Sorry, I was just shocked they got someone so quickly," I explained, dunking my hands into the mass of lemons.

He leaned forward, grabbing a lemon from the crate, tossing it in the air with a quick flick of the wrist and catching it again with ease. "What happened to the other girl?"

"How'd you know it was a girl?" My eyes narrowed. A cocky smile broke out from his bored expression.

That didn't take long...

"Simple," he replied, "I've never seen a guy work in a place like this. Unless he was a fruit."

"Then why are you here? You're a guy and this is a lemonade stand. We make fresh lemonade here. It's very girly, obviously," I told him, locking my arms across my chest.

He grinned, showcasing a perfect set of white teeth.

I could melt...

"I'm a different case," he stated as if it should qualify as an answer.

I snorted. "That's not saying much, so I'll make it easier, since you're circling the issue at hand_"

He interrupted, cringing. "I'm not circling anything, I'm different_"

"Yeah, I bet you are," My tone was rising, "but in this day and age, we don't call gay guys fruity, that's discriminatory and incredibly rude!"

He leaned forward. "Your words not mine, Fireball." His grin instantly returned.

I let out an exasperated grunt and shook my head at the nickname.

Wow, I didn't think it was possible, but asshole could trump cute.

"What now?" He teased with a laugh.

Clearly he'd noticed I wasn't too fond of the name he'd branded me with. It didn't even begin to describe my personality, not that 'Fireball' was beyond my realm of expression though. Perhaps I should show him how a 'Fireball' really acted.

He grabbed another lemon from the crate. "So are you gonna ride my ass every time I say something stupid or are you gonna teach me this shit?" He held out the lemon in the space between us.

Ignoring his extended arm, I leaned down to grab a lemon. "How about both, douche!"

He dropped his lemon back into the crate. "Both," He echoed, which meant he knew he was an asshole and didn't care. Well that wasn't going to fly with me.

"That's right," I snapped, "if you say something stupid I'm going to call you out on it but, if you're a good little boy, I just might teach you how to make freshly squeezed lemonade." I offered him a faux sweet smile.

I turned toward the juicer on the table and dropped the lemon beside it. "Come here and bring your lemon."

He took a few extra seconds to select the perfect lemon before coming to stand next to me. His shoulder grazed mine ever so lightly.

Okay, a little too close.

Normally it wouldn't have bothered me if a hot guy stood beside me, I'd be all 'yay me', but the asshole persona was a major turn off.

Really, it was.

My head dipped down slightly and, for a brief second, I caught a whiff of his scent: a mixture of shampoo and cologne. It was nice.

"You like how I smell, huh?"

WHAT! How on earth did he notice?

My ponytail flew through the air as my head jerked back up. I shook my head in disbelief. "I didn't smell you!"

"Did so, Fireball," he replied smugly. "You got all quiet and the only thing I heard was the sound of your nostrils sniffing my sweet scent!" He ended that beautiful sentence with a loud laugh.

My eyes bulged. "I was not_"

"Yes you were. I don't blame you, if I wasn't me, I'd smell me, too." He smirked.

I scowled at him. "Oh my God! Get over yourself!"

I reached down and grabbed my lemon so brutally that a bit of juice leaked into my hand. I held it in front of him and shook it to get his attention.

"Watch how I do this!" I ordered.

"Got it, boss." He saluted.

I took a deep breath and decided to ignore his remark. I placed the lemon on the cutting block and sliced it in half. I then demonstrated how to use the juicer with half the lemon. As one cup was filling with juice, I grabbed another and walked over to the giant juice jug that contained the club's signature water-sugar syrup. I explained how much to pour in (approximately half the cup), he watched closely and didn't make any smart-ass comments. I mixed the syrup in with the fresh lemon juice, then grabbed the other half of the lemon and cut it up.

"The other half we cut it into five wedges and put in the drink along with a scoop of ice," I told him. I crouched to open the electric freezer underneath the juicer's table and scooped some ice into the lemonade. Then I pulled out a few frozen pieces of mint. "We add these on top, as a garnish and for taste. And voila, freshly squeezed lemonade with frozen mint."

He was staring blankly at the drink.

"Can I drink it now?" he asked then suddenly, before I could say 'no', he picked up the drink and downed it. I stepped back in surprise at his level of thirst. I had never seen a person drink so fast. I guess he was a growing boy.

"Easy there, Tiger," I suggested softly.

He put down the cup and looked at me with a gentler expression.

"I'm 'Tiger' now?" He was grinning again.

Oh shit!

I stood silent, at a loss for words. I hadn't intended to give him a nickname.

"Um, no, that didn't come out right, I didn't mean it!" Minor-ly humiliated, I snatched the cup and walked away from him to the garbage can on the other side of the stand. He followed right behind me.

"Umm, yes." He mimicked my flustered voice as I threw the cup in the trash. "It's okay, Fireball. If it makes you feel any better, I'm okay with 'Tiger'. You can call me that anytime you want." He sat on the edge of the table and smiled wryly at me.

Great, could I have boosted his ego anymore?

"Can you please act serious? I'm not going to call you Tiger." I put my foot down, catching myself before I did a childish stomp.

He pushed himself off the table and towered over me, invading my personal space. I bit back my bitchy comments about personal space, instead tilting my head back to look up at him. Who the hell did he think he was, trying to intimidate me with his height? I could play too, with the best of them, and I'd crush them all.

I hoped I could at least.

"Well if you aren't going to call me Tiger, what are you gonna call me then?" He leaned in closer and I instinctively leaned back.

Putting my hands on my hips, I replied coolly, "I'm going to call you by your name."

"Yeah, well go ahead. What's my name?" He sneered.

I opened my mouth but quickly shut it when I realized I'd never asked him his name.

I don't even know his name...and we're arguing like we know each other.

"Well, you don't know my name either. Hypocrite much?" I jerked my chin to him.

He straightened back up and played with the collar of his shirt. He didn't say anything. It was obvious now that this boy was a child. And since one of us had to be the professional adult, I decided to break first and ask.

I exhaled, feeling exhausted. "Fine, what's your name?"

"Tiger!" he declared and began to laugh.

I leaned forward and shoved his left shoulder with my arm. "Hey, abuse, abuse!" He yelped, laughing even harder.

"You're an asshole!" I branded him.

He took a brief moment to calm himself down. "Okay, relax. Ask me again."

"What. Is. Your. Name." I slowly enunciated each word, hoping to make him feel stupid.

He looked down at me with an amused expression, as if I were the stupid one who dared to even play that game with someone of his caliber of smart ass-ness.

He sighed loudly and looked away. "Oh Fireball, what am I going to do with you?"

When he finally turned his eyes back to me, his expression had changed – it was different, weirder. It made me feel funny. Nevertheless, I was not someone who was going to bow down to his obvious cuteness.

Even if he was really, really, really cute.

"For the last time: what is your name?" I asked, lifelessly.

His lip twitched. "I told you, it's Ti_"

"You two!" a voice interrupted loudly.

We spun around to find Shelby standing in front of the cash register with her hands on the counter, giving us glares of destruction.

"Annabelle. You're supposed to be training James. I don't see any training going on. I see wasting the only time you'll probably have available today to train him!" she yelled at us, well, me.

Bitch!

"I'm sorry. I already showed him how make the lemonade."

I felt James move close beside me.

"Oh, so he knows how to make them precisely and efficiently?" Shelby asked with slight hesitation, a strange look in her eyes.

She thought I was full of shit.

I glanced up at James. His eyes never left Shelby's. I looked back to Shelby. "Yes." I did a silent a prayer that he'd paid attention.

"Wonderful. Show me, please," she ordered, indicating the juicer with her chin.

A frozen chill rode a slow elevator from the soles of my feet to the tip of my head. My ears seemed to be the only sense my body could account for. Behind me, I heard shuffling feet and the roar of the juicer.

After a few seconds of listening to the juicer hard at work, I snapped out of my little 'oh shit' haze and glanced at Shelby, who now reminded me of skinny blonde troll. It might have been the bulged out nose that seemed to be inhaling everything earthly, including my soul, or maybe it was the giant forehead that had an invisible logo flashing on and off just for me.

The sign would say, 'BITCH!' in big bright colors.

I heard James come forward, bringing with him a perfectly made lemonade, complete with the mint garnish.

Thank God!

It wasn't just Shelby that I was seeing differently. I was in the presence of a hero and he was standing right next to me under the scrutinizing glare of a pissed off, evil troll.

"All finished," James announced, pushing the cup toward Shelby.

Shelby grunted back a laugh and said, "I'll be the one to affirm that."

She picked up the drink and inspected it from every angle imaginable. Then she took a sip and, instead of swallowing she swished the liquid around her mouth as if she were at a wine tasting.

This was ridiculous!

She eventually swallowed and returned her attention to us. "Not bad. Keep it up, sport. You'll have it in no time," she said with a smile and, like the bipolar freak she was, picked up her clipboard and moved on like nothing had happened.

"Sport?'" James repeated, amused.

I shook my head, watching Shelby as she trotted away just like a horse would have after taking a nice, long poo.

Ewe! Yuck!....mental image.

James sat on the counter and I leaned against it, beside him.

"Yeah, that's Shelby. She's a supervisor. I don't know how." I didn't understand it and I had a feeling he was thinking that too. "The good thing though, she won't be back 'til before we have our lunch break."

"Thank God!" he exclaimed in a relieved sigh.

I laughed at his delivery and glanced up at him.

I stopped laughing.

He was staring down at me with a serious look on his face. I gazed at his beautiful green eyes and he smiled sweetly for the first time. I felt a slow burn around my heart and, without realizing it, my eyes lowered to his lips. He began to lean down towards me and I didn't move a muscle. I didn't know if it was because I was frozen or because I wanted what was about to happen.

Hold on! What the hell!

Move out of the way girl!

You're not like that!

I jerked away before he could lean in any further. "What do you think you're doing?" I asked, shocked.

My eyes were wide, my palms were sweaty, and my knees were jelly. I was experiencing the whole shebang. I breathed heavily and my vision became foggy, and the man hadn't even gotten his lips on me.

He narrowed his eyes, not smiling sweetly anymore. "Fireball, you shouldn't have moved. Could have made this work thing more...fun."

I didn't know what to say. I'd never been in a situation like this before. So I decided to do what girls did best: pretend it didn't happen.

"Let's just work, okay?" I whispered, still bewildered but was doing my best to not show it.

For the next hour and a half, we barely spoke to one another. James and I circled around each other as we took turns making lemonade and handling the cash register. When Shelby came by and told me I was first on lunch, I didn't say 'see you later' to James, I just rushed away.

With everything after meeting James, I'd forgotten about the 'amazing' packed lunch awaiting me. As I opened my locker, I remembered the snack fiasco.

UGH!

I pulled out a Ziploc bag full of carrots and celery, another Ziploc bag with four slices of turkey deli meat tucked in-between one piece of whole wheat toast, and a 250ml bottle of water.

Yay?

So this was lunch.....wonderful...not!

If she wanted to give me a sandwich she should have at least given me two pieces of bread. I didn't care if it was whole wheat, I just needed TWO PIECES!

Wasn't it a sandwich rule to always have two slices of bread?

I sat down on a bench between two rows of lockers. I glanced at the door before diving in to my meal, hoping Jenna would walk through and we could spend our lunch break together. Five minutes passed and she didn't walk through the doors.

I begin with the worst: the celery. To distract from the awful taste, I decided to dissect what had happened. I prepared to feel sick and regretful and, most of all, shocked that a cute guy actually wanted to kiss me.

Oh my GOD! What the hell just happened? I thought as I crunched on the tasteless celery.

His lips were THIS close to mine. If I wasn't such a huge WUSS, his beautiful, plump lips would have touched mine.

Did I make the right choice...because right now....it did not seem like it.

At all.

No! I did the smart thing.

I didn't know him.

How could I kiss a guy I didn't know?

I wasn't like that.

I finished the celery and moved on to the carrots, they were better than celery any day. I continued to dissect as I munched away.

If he wasn't so tall, he wouldn't have had to lean in so much. Meaning, it would have been too late for me to move away. His lips would have been on mine. No doubt about that.

I thought of his lips. They were lush. They were a vibrant peachy-pink color that glistened whenever he'd lick them. I imagined how they'd feel on top of my own....sweet, warm, sensual, amazing.

Damn!

I finished the carrots and opened the Ziploc containing my half sandwich. As I ate the poor excuse for a sandwich, the realization hit.

How was I going to face him?

And I rejected him. Damn! I realized, hitting my forehead with my palm. I didn't know much about boys. Do boys even handle rejection well?

Ugh-oh!

Shit, shit, shit!

And I wasn't one of those super pretty girls. What if he wasn't going to be nice about the whole thing?

What if he decided to make me feel like a loser for turning him down?

Like how dare I?

I should be so lucky that he'd even want to kiss me, even touch me!

All of a sudden it felt difficult to breathe. I gulped down the last bite of my sandwich, it went down like a rock. I glanced at my watch. I had two minutes until my break was over. I had to get a move on or else face the wrath of Shelby for a third time. I downed my water bottle and threw it in the recycle bin outside the change room. The nervous butterflies returned with full force.

How am I going to get through this?

Chapter 3

ANNABELLE

"Where's James?" I asked when I noticed Shelby alone inside the lemonade stand, counting change from the till.

She grunted loudly as if I annoyed her then dropped the rest of the coins into the till and closed it. "He's been assigned to a different sector of the club. Are you going to be okay working alone?"

I nodded.

Shelby narrowed her eyes and gave me a peculiar look. "I hope you're not sick?"

I shook my head slowly. "I'm not sick."

Liar! Love sick? It didn't make any sense.

Shelby rolled her eyes. "Yeah, then why do you look like you're about to throw up?"

I looked away and cleared my throat. "My lunch's making me feel a little funny, but I'll be okay, it's going away."

Shelby let out a sigh of relief. "Good." She didn't want to work my shift if I had to go home sick. She left in haste, probably fearful of any germs I might have been harboring.

I sat on the counter in front of the register. Fifteen minutes ticked by, nobody came. My shift was getting boring, despite the brief excitement I'd experienced earlier.

Really fun, but now that's over.

No second chance, no kiss with a cute guy...

Why did the world hate me?

I closed my eyes and dropped my head into my hands, resting my elbows on my thighs.

Why did I always ruin everything? Couldn't I, for once, let things happen? It could have been the best damn thing that ever happened to me!

And now, he's gone. The thought ricocheted off the walls of my skull, over and over again, mentally bruising me. I inhaled slowly, hoping it would somehow induce the clarity I needed to move past the awkward moment. I needed a pick-me-up.

I needed a candy bar.

I imagined going home with the feeling that I'd self-sabotaged again. The cherry on the crap-sundae would be the chat with Mom, Dad, Charles, and Katherine. They'd notice my funk, begin questioning me, and then declare I was selfish for not getting over whatever was bothering me. Then they'd all gang up on me and the fight about food would ensue.

'Looking a little pudgy in the belly, Anna.'

'How many calories did you burn, Anna?'

God, I hated it.

No. I needed to change my brain waves. So what if I lost my chance, life went on. I breathed deeply, allowing the afternoon air to enter every passageway I had. I slowly raised my head from my hands, blinking away my blurry vision.

Okay!

Yeah!

I feel great!

Ready to take on the world and........What just happened?

I sighed, feeling the quick wave of hope dissipate.

So much for the power of positive thinking.

I felt empty.

I moped for a while longer until I finally got my first customer: an elderly couple. I pasted on a smile and made their drinks. I heard the clink of coins hitting the side of the tip jar. Despite the fake smile, the couple had given me a two-dollar tip.

Enough money for a candy bar....

*~*~*

An hour later, I had wiped down the counters and closed up shop. Shelby had come by shortly after I'd served the elderly couple to inform me that I was closing early and to start cleaning immediately.

Now what am I going to do? I thought as I grabbed my things and shut my locker.

I was two hours early and that was two hours I did not plan on spending under the careful eye of Mom and Dad. It was unfortunate that they worked from home – they'd set up an office that took up the entire basement. It was rare to get the house to myself these days. If I went home, I'd be run over by a stampede of questions and demands as soon as I crossed the threshold.

"Why are you home early?"

"What time did you eat?"

"Did you eat all of it?"

"Show us your calorie watch!"

"How come it's that low?"

"Didn't you bicycle to work?"

Then Mom would have her moment in the sun...

"Did you like what I packed?"

"Doesn't it feel great knowing you only had about 600 calories until now?"

"How come you aren't sweating, didn't you ride your bike home?"

"Don't they have a gym at the club that you could have used?"

"Isn't that part of the privileges you get when you work there?"

"Maybe you should go up and down the stairs five times; you could burn an extra hundred calories!"

"Your brother and sister are out exercising now, learn from them!"

"How come you aren't asking me about tomorrow's meal plan?"

"Show me your food diary!"

"I hope you realize school will be starting in a few weeks... (This one always left me hanging)."

"We only want you to be healthy; don't you want to be healthy?"

"You know, Anna Banana, boys can be cruel."

"Doesn't it make you sad, wearing clothes that size?"

And then the final dig: "Would you like a salad with the dressing on the side for dinner tonight?"

Going home early did not hold much incentive for me.

What the hell, was there no safe haven for me to go to?

I stared at my reflection in the locker room mirror as I washed my hands. Their comments cut deeply. If I wasn't in control of my emotions, I would have spent an hour in the bathroom stall sobbing about how unfair life was. But I couldn't do that, crying would just make things worse. Besides, I'd already come up with a top ten list for how my life sucked:

1: My ass was too big.

2: My parents and siblings' thought my ass was too big.

3: I hadn't had a decent meal in weeks.

4: There was nowhere I could go where there wasn't a constant spiel about my "well-being".

5: No one understood me, except for Jenna.

6: I didn't have a boyfriend.

7: I just screwed up with a cute guy.

8: I would never have another chance with a cute guy like James again.

9: I didn't get paid until Monday and I only had twenty-five dollars to last me until then.

10: Even if I wanted to catch the attention of a certain guy, I had no makeup and my clothes were disgustingly old. (Reminder: go shopping next payday.)

I dried my hands and headed out. I took a detour, forgoing the employee exit and heading straight to the reception desk to have a word with Jenna.

"Hey you," I whispered when I reached reception.

The chair swiveled around and a giant grin greeted me.

"What're you doing here?" Jenna asked playfully, her eyes shining brightly.

"It was slow, so Shelby cut my shift a half hour ago," I explained as my elbows rested on the counter.

"It's quiet up here too. Anything interesting happen out on the course?" she asked, gently turning her chair from side to side. The club's reception area was expansive. It had the space for three more pairs of hands to work, but Jenna was alone.

"Maybe," I teased.

"You need to tell me everything!" Jenna demanded desperately.

I burst out laughing and took a step back, just in case she decided to jump over the counter and pummel me for holding out.

"Jenna!" an authoritative voice declared. Ms. Jones, one of the club's administration supervisors came barreling out of the membership office in the back, stopping a few feet from her door. "If you could, kindly get back to work!"

"Yeah, get back to work!" I ordered Jenna, failing to keep a straight face.

"How's this for work!" Jenna laughed as she twirled in her chair like it was a carnival ride.

Floor-crushing footfalls were coming threateningly close, led by Ms. Jones stern call: "Jenna!"

"That's my cue. Later!" I pushed off the counter and ducked out the door.

I exited through the front entrance and headed toward the bike docks. As I strode over, I thought about my options. I could catch a movie, or get some food (a burger was sounding delicious). Maybe I'd exercise. Riding up and down the hill, was exercise. I could always slip into stalker-mode and search the grounds for James. Or just go to the park and listen to my iPod.

A long shadow stretched over me as I knelt at my bike lock.

"Hey," a familiar voice said.

I craned my neck to see who it was and my breathing halted.

Second chance!

"Hey." I stared up at him holding his blue backpack. My eyes widened as I took in his features again, one by one. Somehow I managed to take out my lock and get up.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, doing my best to avoid looking him in the eyes. Having James watching me was wrecking my nerves. I struggled to place the lock back in its holder. It wouldn't snap in. I got frustrated and my lack of finesse with this one menial task was turning me into a flustered mess.

"Let me," He offered and slid in front of me, his back grazing my front. His fingers caressed mine as he took the lock from me. My heart went into overdrive. My brown eyes watched him as he easily snapped the lock in place.

He smiled. "There you go."

I cleared my throat. "Thanks."

"Are you going home?" James asked.

I nodded.

All of a sudden his eyes narrowed, no longer smoldering.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

"No....Well, yeah, there's something wrong." He folded his muscled arms across his chest and didn't continue.

"And that is..."

"Well, Fireball, you didn't tell me you missed me," He smirked.

I shook my head in amused disbelief. I turned my bike towards the hill.

"Oh yes, I missed you so much," I told him sarcastically. I could feel him following me.

"The truth comes out. Finally," James rejoiced, taking two long strides to walk beside me.

Oh, what the hell, I've got nothing to do, might as well play a little...

I grinned. "That's right, Tiger, I missed you loads!"

"I like how that sounds." He stated.

"What sounds?" I asked.

He suppressed his grin. "The nickname you gave, rolling off your tongue."

"Well, you gave me a nickname." I explained.

"That I did." He smirked.

"Are you going home now?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Nah, my dad's going to pick me up in an hour."

"Oh, that's cool." I said.

"You ride your bike to work, don't your parents give you ride? These hills are kind of steep." He asked.

"My parents don't believe in driving me places I can ride my bike to," I explained simply.

"Oh, they're one of those Green Peace types?" he assessed.

"No," I replied. "They want me to lose weight."

Why did I just tell you that?

"That's stupid," James replied. "You look fine to me."

My heart began to race.

I'm fine, James thinks I'm fine!

My inner pessimist took out her whip and slapped me a few times, telling me to take that sort of compliment with a grain of salt.

"You're just being nice," I scoffed.

"No, I'm not. It's the truth. You look good to me." He sounded completely sincere.

"Thanks," I mumbled, feeling my cheeks heating up.

"Nothing to thank me for, it's just the truth after all," He told me. "Besides, it's your parents that are making you feel like this. I sorta know what that's like... My dad's a dick."

"Yeah, my parents are always ruining my mood for no reason." I decided I'd share with him, since he'd opened up a bit too.

"I bet your parents have nothing on my dad. When I say he's a dick, he's really a dick," James exclaimed.

I didn't fight him on it, not because I couldn't go toe-to-toe with him on whose parents were the bigger assholes, but because I was hurting – this hill was killing me!

"I'm sorry," I replied, struggling to breathe as I stopped.

"Here, let me," he offered, taking the handlebars from me. We grazed again. Sigh!

"Thanks." Without the weight of the bike, the hill instantly became easier to climb. But that didn't stop my thighs and calves from screaming when we reached the top.

I glanced over to James and he was breathing normally, unlike me who was a panting mess. I took my bike from him, thanking him again. I climbed on and looked at him for a moment.

"Can I have your cell number?" I heard him ask me, although the pounding of my heart made it difficult hear.

I blinked. "Sure."

He pulled his cell from his back pocket and programmed my number into it. He muttered goodbye, then headed back down the hill without looking back.

I rode home elated. I couldn't believe he'd asked for my number!

It wasn't until I was pulling onto the property that I realized I'd forgotten about doing something to occupy my two hours. I was early, too early. This wasn't good.

After putting my bike away, I quickly scanned my calorie watch to see how many calories I'd burned until now. I was at a total of 350 calories. Even though I'd lost work hours, it didn't hurt my count because climbing the hill saved me by giving me the extra fifty I needed to pass. Normally I wouldn't have gone up the hill in one go. I would have stopped at least ten times to catch my breath and stretch my legs, and I would have climbed much slower.

My hand stalled on the doorknob to my house. Before I turned it, I inhaled deeply. My brain needed all the oxygen it could get.

Here goes nothing!

"I'm home!" I yelled as I opened the door, entering the cool interior.

"You're home?" Mom yelled back, confused.

I heard her excited footsteps trample up the stairs from the basement. She burst out from the basement door and came straight for me.

"Why are you home early?" she demanded before I'd even gotten one shoe off.

"It was really quiet so Shelby cut my shift early," I explained. I made my way to the family room, expecting her to follow me. I plopped down on the couch and looked up to find the room was empty, Mom had disappeared. From the front hallway I heard a zipper open, and then Mom came into the family room holding my lunch box. She lifted the lid and examined it thoroughly, ensuring there was no food left.

"You ate it all?" she asked.

"Yes." I nodded, slowly.

She narrowed her eyes at me. "But you missed your second break, if she cut your shift, when did you eat the yogurt?"

The interrogation had begun.

Slowly, my teeth began to grind. My patience was wearing thin. "I ate it in the change room before I came home," I lied.

I could see Mom take a moment to mentally envision my day in her head, coordinating everything, making sure what I was saying made sense.

"Oh, okay," she finally said.

I sighed inwardly. I was relieved to have overcome that hurdle.

Mom sat down on the couch beside me. Then, all of a sudden, she leaned over and grabbed my watch.

"Let me see your calorie burn!" she demanded.

I tried to pull my wrist from her grasp. "Oh my God!" I yelled at her as she scanned the number.

"Only 350?!" Mom exclaimed.

I jumped off the couch and spun to face her, bewildered.

"What do you mean, only 350?" I shrieked.

She leaned back on the couch and pulled a pillow onto her lap, like a barrier between us.

"You should have burned at least 400 calories by now," She replied calmly. Her tone only served to infuriate me further.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I retorted. "We agreed I should burn at least 300 calories before dinner every day. I'm clearly over. I've gone above and beyond!"

"That was last month, this month it's 400. Your goals change every month, didn't you listen to the nutritionist? As you begin to lose weight, the lighter you become the more calories you have to burn to keep losing the weight." She explained.

What the hell was all this mumbo jumbo? I did more than my fair share of exercise and now she wanted more!

She rose from the couch and stood imposingly in front of me. "And you've already lost five pounds; do you think the next five are going to be as easy?"

"It'll come off," I shrugged.

"Oh really? Well I do hope so, Annabelle! Because you would do well to remember that school is only a few short weeks away. It's your senior year, for heaven's sake!" Mom shouted.

I didn't need any more reminders. I spent plenty of time thinking about gracing Royal Heights High School as a size ten yet again and it didn't make me feel any better than when she did. I didn't know why my mom insisted on making me feel as horrible as possible for being a size ten. It wasn't like she had to walk around in my shoes. She didn't have to wander the halls, void of boys ogling her, void of a boyfriend, void of affection and attention.

I was as boring as they came.

I was a wallflower.

"I'm going to my room," I muttered, heading out of the family room.

"Wait," she called after me, "before you go, I want those fifty calories!"

I stopped in the doorway and spun around, giving her a look that screamed 'You're crazy!'

She's lost it. Absolutely lost it.

"You want me to what?" I asked, horrified.

"I want you to run up and down the stairs 'til you get that fifty." She ordered.

Was she being serious right now? Like right now?

HELL NO!

I shook my head. "I'm not doing anything except going to my room. And you'd better not bother me!" I ran from the room, grabbing my backpack from the front and jetting up the stairs. I slammed my door shut just in time to stop Mom from hearing me wheeze as I caught my breath from the short run.

"ANNABELLE!" Mom yelled outside my closed door.

"Leave me alone!" I yelled.

I flopped on my bed and listened to her walk away. I waited until I was certain she was gone before I began to change my clothes.

Thank God we had some boundaries that she actually followed in this house!

At least she respected me enough not to enter the one place that was supposed to be mine.

I changed into a pair of blue shorts and a red shirt. The shorts cut off mid-thigh and the shirt went passed my hips, almost covering the shorts. I stared at my reflection in the mirror and scanned myself from head to toe. The shirt was a little tight but still had some room in it, the length elongated my torso making me look smaller than I actually was. The shorts were short, but they made my legs look longer and less chunky.

I sighed, this outfit made me happy. I looked slim, borderline athletic, but the tragedy was I would never wear it outside. I didn't have the guts to wear shorts that short and a shirt that tight in public. This outfit would stay in this room.

It was just for me.

Even my family wouldn't see it entirely. If I had to leave my room for any reason, I'd grab one of dad's old university hoodies that fell almost to my knees. Dad was about 6'4 and although his sweaters usually fell to his waist, on anyone else in our family it looked more like a dress instead.

I glanced at the alarm clock beside my bed. It was only 3:00 p.m. Four hours until dinnertime, four hours that I had to entertain myself in this room because I just didn't have it in me to leave and begin the interrogation again.

The fight in me was gone.

All gone.

I just wanted to be left alone.

For the next hour, I listened to my iPod shout songs about moving away, going away, escaping, life beginning, and love happening. I stared at my blank ceiling and imagined scenes play out as if it were my own personal movie theatre.

Today's movie was a new one, although it started like all the others. A skinny version of myself, wearing a beautiful dress. But then it changed. I was on a balcony and he was climbing up over the side. James stood in front of me, leaning in to kiss me for the second time.

"You're beautiful," he whispered into my ear, his hug engulfing me. "You're perfect."

My arms circled his shoulders and he lifted me up. He twirled me around like he'd never been so happy in his life.

I grinned like a fool as I imagined the scenario.

Yeah, that's a nice one.

**Chapter 4**

ANNABELLE

Beep. Beep.

I turned the volume down on my iPod. I thought I heard something beep.

I took my earphones out and tossed the iPod across my bed as I stretched to grab my phone off my desk, without leaving the bed.

New message from: Unknown

I scrolled down and checked the number. I didn't recognize it.

My heart began to palpitate. Panic flowed inside me, exciting every nerve ending in my body to a point where my palms became sweaty and my knees felt weak. Normally I'd only get texts from Jenna, but her number was on my contacts list.

Could it be...? No...

I took a deep breath and opened the message.

Unknown: Fireball, is it you?

Fireball!

Oh my God!

The tips of my fingers moved without notice. I'd gone to heaven and the euphoric state that met me there cast a spell on my brain, detaching it from my body – I was floating high in the sky.

Annabelle: Tiger?

This was a beautiful moment.

Truly.

A breathtaking love song begins to play in my subconscious. In my mind, everything in my room changes color, turning shades of red. My things levitated. I floated up and danced around them.

That's how I felt right now.

Puppies and rainbows!

I grinned widely, a fool's smile, as I pressed 'Send'. Two seconds later when I heard my phone beep, my face felt as if it could break in half. Happiness blossomed, it escaped from the steel trap I had locked away deep in my heart, the heart I had to lock away because my family was always trying to break it for their own self-righteous purposes. The time of their selfish ways was officially over

Unknown: Yeah, baby, it's me.

"Baby!"

I could die!

I went to my contacts and changed 'unknown' to 'Tiger.' It just seemed to fit and I had a feeling I was known as 'Fireball' in his contacts.

Annabelle: Do you have me as Fireball in your contacts?

Tiger: You're sweet, you know that. Yes. You happy with that?

I'm sweet?

I didn't know that!

My fingertips moved across the keypad quickly as I texted back.

Annabelle: Of course! It kinda grew on me.

Pure elation.

The clouds parted and the sun came out shining.

All for me.

Tiger: When u work next?

If I could have jumped up and down on my bed, I would have. I would have shouted at the top of my lungs, announcing to everyone who was unhappy and depressed that it was all going to be okay, that they just had to tough it out for a little longer. Happiness was always on its way, especially for those who deserved it.

And I definitely deserved it.

Annabelle: Tomorrow. Same time, same place.

My phone beeped. Was it just me or were his texts coming back with lightning speed?

Tiger: Cool. See u tomorrow.

No matter how excited I was – mixed with desperation – I couldn't show how much I loved texting him, even though we'd barely discussed anything (like where he went after I came back from break?). I wasn't about to scare him off with my enthusiasm. I had to finish the conversation with something short and simple.

Annabelle: Cool.

I exited the messages.

Cool! It was the word of the moment.

It was a diagnosis; a piece of medicine that threw me over the wall that had always screamed 'life is unfair!'

Had I been stumbling all this time? Had I just been crashing, failing, never getting what this life thing was all about?

And there wasn't even a kiss!

My head hit the pillow, my fingertips trailing across my lips. In my head I replaced them with his and the thought made my entire body convulse unnaturally. The feeling was brand new. I'd never gotten this far in speaking with a boy. The possibilities of what may come were foreign and my body, mind, and soul welcomed these aliens with open arms.

Geez! What if he had actually kissed me?

I would have crumbled to the ground, hoping he'd touch me again. My body could only take so much of his generously heated embraces. I would simply faint with the image of him giving me the greatest gift of all.

Calm down!

I giggled like a mad woman and shook my head in disbelief. A few short text messages and I was already acting like a love-crazy fool. What would happen if things actually progressed into a relationship?

Stalker psycho!

Oh God no!

I burst out laughing and gazed up at the blank ceiling. Sometimes I wished my parents would have let me paint mine just like Jenna's, but at this moment the empty ceiling served as a blank slate on which I would paint with my newly-spiked imagination.

*~*~*

Knock. Knock.

"It's open," I called out happily, my hands behind my head as I continued to stare at the ceiling. I was in the middle of a wonderful story on my ceiling. It was just getting good.

Charles, my thirteen-year-old brother, came barging in. "Dinner's ready!" He turned right back around and left, leaving the door wide open.

Dinner's ready! Am I even hungry? I thought as I got off my bed and headed out. My stomach began to grumble loudly, apparently I was hungry. And like a crash of lightning blowing up the tree that gave me life, it all came back.

Mom!

She wasn't happy with my calorie burn today and I didn't burn those extra fifty she'd wanted when I came home. I would have to brace myself for a battle during dinner tonight.

As I descended the stairs, I smelled tomato sauce and garlic bread. They had made pasta, my favorite!

I paused mid-step.

They're so evil!

The chances that I'd be getting almost none of one of my favorite meals were extremely high. Strangely, I was handling this realization differently than usual. I was happy, and I knew if this had happened yesterday I would have been devastated.

So I won't get to eat a plate full of my favorite meal. So what!

Yeah, so what, I thought as I continued down the stairs and into the dining room. I stopped in front of the table at my usual seat, stunned. Mine was the only plate with just salad on it.

Gee, thanks Mom, I know I can always count on you.

I smiled at her, although I knew it didn't reach my eyes. Oblivious as she was, she smiled back genuinely. The woman believed with all her heart that she was doing her rightful duty as a mother, keeping the evil words of the teenage world from tearing up my soul because I was bigger than my average classmate.

Damn you Florida and your perfect weather making everyone want to have gorgeous beach bodies all year long!

I quietly sat in my chair and stabbed a piece of lettuce with my fork.

"Oh joy," I muttered, tasting the balsamic vinegar dressing.

*~*~*

If I went to bed with a stomach full of salad, my parents would have been happy. My brother and sister didn't give a crap; they only joined in on raining on my parade when it was a family affair. They liked doing things "as a family", it was kind of understandable, in a sadistic sort of way.

But salad wasn't enough to satisfy my stomach entirely, nor did it stop the pains stabbing through me while I was trying to sleep.

Salad wasn't enough.

So it was the usual routine. Wait for everyone to go to sleep, then take out my secret stash of candy bars and chips from beneath my bed frame.

The calories would cost me.

It was an extra 300 that my stomach needed to push away hunger pains until morning or else I'd have to endure another sleepless night. My parents would be none the wiser in the morning because I didn't log those calories in my food diary or my mother's food diary (she liked to keep her own diary for me). The only time they would become puzzled and frustrated would be on weigh-in day, and so far my weight loss had been slow.

A pound a week was slow. I was 175 pounds when we started this torture a month and half ago, now I was 167. I was setting a horrible example for Katherine. At eleven, she was skinny and a dancer, but who knew what bad habits she might be learning from me. She could begin to gain weight in high school like I did, and it would be my fault for waiting until now to lose the weight, and for doing it at a snail's pace.

I finished my snacks and tucked wrappers back into the bag. I'd take care of them in the morning. I would need to restock tomorrow.

Thank God junk food was cheap.

I wiped any remnants of evil food from my face and rested down on my bed. The full moon peered in through the slit in my window shade, highlighting the clutter in my room while dancing on my ceiling.

I gazed up and imagined familiar angry faces shouting empty threats at me. I did this as a way to prepare for the scolding I would inevitably receive. My worst moment would be crumbling into tears because I couldn't take their bullshit anymore.

Jesus, Annabelle! How can you be so selfish?

Move faster!

Chin up! Chest straight! Ass tucked in!

Have some respect for yourself!

You're fat, sweetheart. We're just trying to be honest.

Then why are we all fit and you're not? Don't you want to be a part of this family?

I can't believe this happened to you.

I bought you a pair of jeans, but they're a size 8.

Do you want to be bullied for the rest of high school? How come you don't go to parties?

I don't tell people you're my sister when you come to my recitals.

You want to eat freely? You do it in smaller jeans!

That was enough for one night. I turned on my side and fell asleep.

*~*~*

My eyes fluttered open with sprinkles of fairy dust blowing out. My entire room was filled with bright sunshine that smelled of butter. Baby pink, blue, and violet cupcake butterflies flew playfully in the sunshine. They giggled softly as they bumped into one another, their icing making polka-dots on each other. I stared at them in glee as, one by one, they flitted around me, outlining my body. Then, simultaneously, their joyous humming filled the room and 3-dimensional music notes bounced off everything. One hit my forehead and I laughed as I swept it away.

"ANNABELLE!"

There was only one piece of artillery left in this world that could have broken that happy bubble: my mother's screeching voice.

It was amazing, as I rode my bike to work I felt a new strangeness inside. The early morning sunshine hadn't heated up yet so it lazily caressed my back.

It was nice, peaceful.

I stopped at the top of the hill, the wind leaving my hair as I paused. I'd been pedaling pretty fast and there might have been a good reason to get to work early today...

Nervous, I pulled my feet back onto the pedals and pushed forward. As soon as I picked up enough speed, my arms flew open. As I soared down the hill there was a big car driving down next to me, but I didn't let it distract me, this moment deserved my undivided attention and respect.

"Fireball," a familiar voice called from behind as I knelt to lock my bike.

My heart instantly began beating a mile a minute. "Hi," I replied as I looked over my shoulder at him.

Standing a hundred feet tall with the sun framing his entire body, he practically sparkled. James smiled warmly and stepped towards me, offering his hand.

"Thanks." I grabbed his hand and a jolt of electricity shot threw me as he helped me up.

He didn't let go of my hand and pulled me closer to his body.

Oh. My. God!

"What do you think you're doing?" I said quietly in his embrace.

He looked down and leaned in. "This."

Suddenly, his lips were on mine. My first kiss ever was happening thirty minutes before my shift!

The kiss began lightly, gently. I had no intention of pulling back because it felt too darn good and he must have felt the same because his lips pressed further into mine. He released my hand and softly held on to my face instead. He tilted my head back a little and leaned in further. My mouth was forced open by his urgent tongue. His hand left my face and glided down my shoulder, his arm encircled my waist and pulled me tight against his chest.

Wow! I couldn't believe this! I should totally stop... I'm not like that...

Just as I was about to pull back, he did. But only his lips left me, his forehead rested on mine, his hands held me close.

"I've wanted to do that for a while," he whispered breathlessly.

I giggled quietly and leaned back. "Awhile? We just met yesterday."

"I met you first when I saw you riding your bike down that hill. It was like you were flying." He didn't let go of my waist.

"You saw me fly?"

He nodded.

"The black SUV, that was you?"

He nodded. "And today too. It was beautiful, the way you looked with your arms stretched out as if you were actually flying."

"It was beautiful?" I repeated, looking deeply into his eyes.

He nodded. "Beautiful," he muttered huskily as he leaned back in and kissed me again.

My arms slid around his neck and I pulled myself as tight as I could into his embrace...

Then I woke up again.

The memory of sparkles and kisses still resonated on my face. The lasting impression left me in a slow daze like I was on a drug that had my entire body tingling. As the minutes passed, the real sun slowly peaked in on me, inch-by-inch, starting from my feet and covering me in its warmth.

I felt light.

I was on a cloud baking under a ray of sunshine that was reserved for angels. It was almost 8 a.m., in a perfect world, the radio would turn on playing a slow R&B jam and I'd cross my arms behind my head and drink in the moment, humming along to the slow, sensual beats of the song.

Chapter 5

ANNABELLE

Thursday August 2, 2012

"Honestly, Annabelle," Mom sighed, "I thought I taught you to at least brush your hair before putting it up in a ponytail." Exasperated, she took a sip of her steaming black coffee.

Lalala! What was that? I can't hear you!

I held back the delirious giggle that threatened to erupt. I wasn't in any kind of mental state to be answering Mom's questions. I simply nodded like I understood and accepted her complaint. Absentmindedly, I swirled the contents of my cereal bowl and brought a spoonful to my mouth.

Ugh! What the hell is this?! I grimaced as I chewed the twigs. Whatever this 'cereal' was, it didn't taste like anything you'd find in the supermarket.

Where the hell did she buy this crap?

Maybe a health food store? They've probably got crazy stuff like this on their shelves.

I took a deep, subtle breath before attempting another spoonful.

"Yummy, right?" Mom asked, gesturing her chin toward my bowl. She did a weird thing with her eyes, widening them then squinting.

I didn't know about her sometimes...

Yeah, it's delicious – for a rabbit!

I nodded calmly and gulped down the soggy twigs. I glanced up at her through my lashes and her eyebrows were wiggling at me.

Confused, I offered her a shrug, my eyes saying 'What?'

Her eyes widened in irritation at my cluelessness. Then she jerked her chin towards Katherine. I glanced over at my sister, obliviously playing with her iPhone.

"Delicious, right?" Mom urged in a tone I didn't dare disagree with.

I cleared my throat. "Uh, right, delicious."

I brought another spoonful to my mouth and grudgingly ate it to prove I was telling the truth.

Damn this stuff was awful!

I chewed quickly and forced it down with an audible gulp. "Yummy," I whispered at my empty bowl.

Thank God, I'm done!

"Katherine, darling," Mom said sweetly. "See what Annabelle's having for breakfast? It's delicious and good for you."

Katherine looked up from her iPhone and smiled amiably. "Mommy, I want some of Annabelle's cereal tomorrow."

Mom looked like she was about to explode with happiness. "Sweetheart, why didn't you say anything earlier? I would have given you the healthy cereal today."

"I thought Annabelle was the only one who was supposed to have healthy cereal." Katherine pouted.

I stared at my sister in amazement as Mom blathered on about this rabbit food. With a single line, Katherine had Mom eating out of the palm of her hand. She was a pro, and now she was barely paying attention to anything Mom was saying about health benefits

Bullshit! I mentally yelled at her.

Instead, I gave her a knowing look. She replied with a sly grin when mom leaned into her coffee.

"I want to eat Annabelle's cereal every day from now on," she declared.

Mom put down her mug and gushed at her 'little princess' for making such a 'wise decision.'

What a fool.

"You make Mommy so proud," She beamed at Katherine who nodded.

I shook my head. It was so easy for her. She could just shoot out garbage about wanting something I know she couldn't possibly eat every day. She'd try it for a few days then ask Mom if it was okay to eat Cornflakes instead. I recalled the beginning of summer when I'd been told about what my breakfast would be from then until the end of the world.

"This is the cereal you will be eating from now on. Do you understand?" Mom had said.

That was it.

You eat this.

There are no other options. Only healthy, 'delicious' rabbit food.

I wish I could have some Cornflakes.

"I'm off!" I announced, quickly rising to put my empty bowl in the sink before rushing out the kitchen and into the foyer.

"Annabelle, wait!" Mom shouted at my back.

I could hear utensils banging together and her slippered feet rushing around frantically.

What the hell was she doing in there?

I shrugged as I tied my shoes – that's when it hit me.

The realization.

My head jerked up, horrified.

The purple lunch box!

I gathered my laces and shoved them down the sides of my shoes. I had no time for tidy little bows now. I scooped up my backpack, yelled "bye!" and opened the front door.

"Wait!" Mom yelled again.

I paused in the doorway and reluctantly turned to face her, horrified of what was to come. Mom ran from the kitchen with the beautiful purple lunch box swinging in her hand.

Damn it!

Almost made it!

"Annabelle, I told you to wait," She huffed. "Your lunch!" She lifted the box with a flourish like the models on game shows.

With a sigh, I dropped my backpack from my shoulder and unzipped it for her.

"You're welcome," Mom muttered, annoyed, as she shoved the box into my bag.

"Thank you," I mumbled back, zipping the bag back up and hoisting it onto my shoulder. I stepped over the threshold and shut the door behind me with an unintentional bang. An exasperated breath slid from my lips.

Why?

I remembered the high I was riding when I woke up. It only lasted until the beginning of breakfast and then, with a few stupid words from Mom and Katherine, it vanished. I pulled out my phone out of my bag and scrolled through my inbox, tapping the conversation with James from last night. A smile instantly broke out of my miserable expression as I reread the messages. It didn't make any sense. I was pissed off but reading his texts magically made the world okay again.

We hadn't even talked about anything special, it was actually nothing. 'Hey is this you?' 'Yeah it's me.'

That's it. Yet it made me so freaking happy.

I'm gone. So totally gone!

I shook my head at the grinning-idiot-in-love I called 'myself' and wheeled my bike out from behind the gate.

Small, grim clouds began building into jagged mountains. The wind picked up, pushing against me as I rode to work. It was a hot, humid wind and I could smell the impending rain. I sensed a blustery, monster of a storm closing in.

Halfway to work, the first crash of thunder rattled through me. I pumped harder on the pedals knowing the rain would begin to fall in a matter of minutes. As I got closer to work, I thanked God that I lived only a ten-minute bike ride from the club.

The coming storm meant the golf course would be closed along with all the outdoor snack stands. When Jenna and I first started working at the club, they explained that even if there was rain we still had to show up, because sometimes other work could be arranged. We'd be in a heap of trouble with management if we didn't show up, assuming work was canceled. Only management had the privilege of deciding when our shifts were canceled, and that wouldn't be done until after we'd taken the trouble to come all the way to the club in the first place.

Could anyone say...unfair.

The first drop of rain splattered on my forehead as I paused on the top of the hill. I always took a moment to gaze at the glorious sight of the path as it curved down the hill, anticipating the adventure I was about to experience once again.

I pushed my pedals forward and flew down, amazing as always.

The slow patter of raindrops increased rapidly as I locked up my bike. By the time I made it inside the employee entrance, the pouring rain had soaked my entire body. I flung out my arms, throwing water everywhere.

"Annabelle!"

My head jerked up as I shook off whatever bit of water I could. Shelby was at the end of the hall, pointing her finger at me and motioning me to come forward.

Like a good little doggie, I obeyed.

"You're actually on time today, rain and all!" She sounded mildly amused. It was such a lie though. I rarely came to work late, but this bitch counted the milliseconds.

She took her job way too seriously!

"Am I working today?" I did my best to not look annoyed. My go-to smile that shielded me from most of Shelby's irritating quirks felt strained this morning.

My shields were wearing thin.

Where's a mutant monster butterfly when you need one? Could I get like a hundred of them to capture Shelby and lock her away in a dungeon?

There was no way they could miss her, she was practically a mythical creature herself.

I sighed softly, only in dreams could things that cool happen. I pictured Shelby screaming like a lunatic as mutant monster butterflies carried her away. A quiet chuckle escaped at the thought.

"What's so funny?" Shelby demanded, pursing her lips and slamming her clipboard to her side.

I bit my lip to stop the smirk. "Nothing. I was just thinking about something funny that happened this morning."

"Yeah, I bet," she replied, unconvinced.

"So, am I working today?" I impatiently repeated.

She narrowed her eyes at my tone.

"Yes, you are. Maintenance is cleaning up a huge water spill in the basement, so I've been instructed to gather any spare staff and get them to clean all the change rooms and the rest of the bathrooms in the other wings." A satanic smile spread across her troll face.

Damn, she needs to get that nose fixed. I thought, shaking my head.

"What! Do you have something you'd like to say?" Shelby baited.

The urge to speak up was too tempting, but I glued my lips shut because I knew if I spoke then it was bye-bye job.

Stupid bank account – the one skinny thing in my life!

"That's what I thought!" She sneered.

God! What I would give to smack that sneer off her ugly face!

"Great, no problem," I conceded. "You probably know where all the cleaning stuff is, lead the way." I happily motioned for her to go first. She strode forward clearly pondering whether that last comment was a jab.

It definitely was.

Shelby led me to the supply closet near the end of the hall. She grabbed a giant ring of keys from her belt loop and picked out a large silver one. She unlocked the door and shoved her shoulder into it, pushing it open with a loud thud.

"Wait here," She ordered, shutting the door in my face.

Country music began playing over the club's sound system. The singer drawled on about Dolly Parton and rhinestones as the supply closet door burst open. Shelby emerged holding a bucket full of cleaning supplies.

"Here!" She shoved the bucket toward me, letting it go before I'd grabbed it. My arms jerked out suddenly to snatch it before it crashed to the floor.

"Get to work!" I could smell her horrid breath over the scent of all the cleaning solutions I was now carrying.

Jesus!

Ever hear of mouthwash?

The ladies change room was the closest to the closet so I headed there first. Half an hour later, I was shaking my head as I left the change room.

Damn!

What do rich people eat?

I shivered, remembering the toilet situation that had taken half a bottle of all-purpose cleaner to clear out. Unfortunately my bathroom expeditions weren't yet over. My next stop was the front lobby where another gloriously large washroom was waiting for me.

Is this even legal? I contemplated. I was only seventeen; surely there were rules about what seventeen year olds were allowed to do, especially when they worked part-time for minimum wage.

Loud noises echoed from the reception area. It was still a torrential downpour so I was surprised to see the front of the club packed with people. I weaved through the crowds, muttering "excuse me" as I squeezed by.

I walked passed the reception desk, not bothering to see if Jenna was there, today was her day off. Donna Tallins would be working the desk today.

About my height with long, auburn hair that layered across her chest, and clear blue eyes against creamy white skin. Donna was that girl that girls like me never bothered to stand next to.

It only led to disappointment.

She was blushing and nodding her bobble head as a tall guy sporting a backwards Miami Marlins baseball cap bent over the counter. His blue shirt tightened as he leaned into the corner. Donna looked like she was having a hard time breathing the closer he got.

Look at her, acting like an idiot, gushing over a guy just 'cause he's cute.

Jesus!

"Annabelle?" A familiar voice stopped me in-between the doorway to the washroom.

I looked over my shoulder.

It was the guy bent over the counter.

He was staring at me with a huge grin.

James! I blinked twice in quick succession, shocked that he was here, standing in front of me. He was ignoring Donna, who stared daggers at me.

Aren't I Fireball to you, not Annabelle...? I felt the green monster peek out as I saw James still leaning over the counter.

Still in Donna's orbit.

"Oh – Hey!" I called back hesitantly. The bucket of cleaning supplies in my hand made me self-conscious. I was acting as cleaning lady today, there was no shame in that but it was a servant's duty compared to Donna who sat comfortably in reception, looking down on me. Her piercing blue eyes lowered to my hands, smirking when she spied the bucket.

"Thought that was you!" James pushed himself away from the counter and approached me. I blinked up at him and took a step forward, letting the bathroom door close. I put the bucket on the floor and nervously wiped my hands on my jeans.

"You're not working today? I thought you were..." I could see Donna over his shoulder, watching us, making me uncomfortable.

"I've got a little secret to share," He leaned close and mock-whispered, "I've been let off the hook."

Donna was clearly not happy with the familiarity James and I already shared.

Got to him first honey! I mentally stuck out my tongue at her, then quickly retracted it as I realized I stood no chance against her.

"What's your secret?"

"I don't have to work anymore!" He breathed an audible sigh of relief.

Confused, I just stared.

Anymore?

Why did he act like some burden was lifted off his chest? Had he been working his entire life, or was he really just the tool I first assumed?

"Oh..." I replied slowly. I couldn't think of what else to say without the risk of sounding bitter about the situation: One, I wouldn't get to work with him anymore; and two, I still had to work and today it involved scrubbing toilets.

I stared down at his hands, they had probably never cleaned toilets. He was a spoiled little boy and it annoyed me the way he was acting. I didn't have a choice. I had to work or else I'd have no money.

"What?" James asked, noticing my disposition.

I hesitated. "I'm just wondering when the violins are going to start playing." His eyes widened, offended. He was acting as if he'd done more than just half a day yesterday!

"Are you making fun of me?" He asked carefully. The joyous light was fading from his green eyes as they stared at me in confusion. He didn't understand. He was used to everyone being happy for him, like Donna

I wasn't. And I wasn't about to pretend to be.

So I just shrugged.

"I'm a baseball player," He exclaimed, as if explaining everything.

What the hell did that have to do with anything?

If you play ball, you don't have to work?

If that's the case, sign me up!

"So?" I snapped in a voice that screamed 'I don't care!'

"I'm on the team now for Royal Heights. They started practice a week ago. I've missed out an entire week." His explanation made no sense and his tone said I had made him uneasy. He wasn't used to people not giving a shit about how 'lucky' he was.

"Again, so?"

He looked angry for a second, but his expression quickly melted into something else – something seductive.

Uh oh! I know that look... Prepare the shields, captain!

"Fireball... If you aren't good, I won't let you come to my practices," James threatened. His voice would have melted any girl – just not me. I stared back in disbelief, he was so cocky.

"I'm good," I shrugged, "but maybe ask Donna there if she'd like to watch you practice, I'm sure she'd jump at the chance."

His lip twitched and something changed in his eyes, as if he were seeing me in a new light.

"Maybe I will."

"Then maybe you should," I snapped back. My lips tightened at the thought of Donna cheering for him on the sidelines.

Whatever!

"What was that, Fireball? Do I detect a bit of sadness in your tone?" He took a step closer, making me blush and look away.

"No!" I tried too hard to sound convincing.

Keep staring at the wall.

Do not look him in the face, or he'll know you're full of shit.

"Don't worry, I won't be far," he whispered softly.

The hairs on the back of my neck rose as I slowly turned back. My eyes met his soft, silky ones. But despite his beautiful eyes, his words still annoyed me. I was sick and tired of people not taking me seriously.

Time to show him what's up!

"I have to get back to work." I didn't want to fluff his ego any further, the text conversation last night must have gone to his head.

"Hey James!" Donna shouted. "Come back here!"

James's eyes peered into mine, trying to decipher some code in what I'd just said.

'I have to go to work' seemed pretty self-explanatory to me.

Silence hovered over us until he gave in and returned to Donna.

Whatever!

"Later, Annabelle," He muttered, not bothering to look back.

Pretending I no longer existed, James returned to his intellectually stimulating conversation with Donna. I rolled my eyes and returned to my bucket.

I had a job to do, toilets needed scrubbing.

*~*~*

"Please?"

"No!" I told my mother as she pouted from across the table at Luigi's, an Italian restaurant twenty minutes from our house. It was odd that my family was in high-carb central, especially with my parents hounding me about my weight so much.

But things changed a few hours ago...

At noon, my shift was cut short. It had stopped raining but the dark clouds still looked threatening. I skipped lunch in the change room, even though I was starving and upset. I wanted to get home before the storm started again.

As I climbed up the hill with my bike, my mind flashed back to yesterday when James pushed my bike up the hill. My stomach twisted strangely, feeling like someone was repeatedly poking me.

I was irritated and I knew why – but I didn't understand it.

When a guy acted like an asshole..... his name should have been immediately struck from the list of potentials. Not that there were any to begin with, but still. I was trying to cross him off, erase him, but nothing worked. I kept going over our conversation and my stomach kept aching. By the time I made it to the top of the hill, I was a nervous wreck. I hopped on to my bike and raced home.

A few drops landed on me as I pushed through the front door. My stomach growled as I peeled off my shoes. Unfortunately, the exertion of the bike ride had done nothing to ease my nerves, but it did make me hungrier. I still had my lunch in my backpack, but I knew it wasn't going to be enough, not with how Mom packed. I headed into the kitchen and opened the fridge, scouring it for anything I could sneak upstairs unnoticed.

I needed two things right now: food and peace. Anyone who interfered with either was in for a nasty surprise when I bit their head off.

"What do you think you're doing?" Mom demanded from the other side of the fridge door.

I ignored her and continued searching for something edible.

"I packed you a lunch!"

I shuffled some items around, still searching.

"What's going on in here?" Dad yelled, stomping up from the basement.

"Marcus, look. She's going to ruin her diet," She whined, turning to him for backup.

I grabbed an eighty-calorie strawberry yogurt and slammed the fridge door shut. Mom scanned my hands to see what I took.

"If you eat that you're going to be over your limit," Mom tried to reason as I walked around her, grabbing a spoon from the drawer. Dad crossed his arms but remained silent.

"Yeah, well, I really don't care right now!" I shouted.

She blocked my path from the kitchen.

"No more diet!" I exploded.

Mom's eyes grew wide. "What – You can't..." she stammered. Dad stayed quiet.

"I can," I stated. "So don't push me, or else I'll leave and never come back!" My threat caused Mom's jaw to drop. Dad put his hands on her shoulders, slowly pushing her out my way.

"Alright, alright, enough of this. Annabelle, you may go eat your yogurt in your room," Dad said.

I quickly fled the kitchen and ran up the stairs. I slammed my bedroom door shut, rattling the windows. I could feel my temperature rising with my anger.

They can kiss my fat ass!

No one bothered me for a couple of hours. They had a few brain cells after all, and noticed I wasn't in the best of moods to be quarreled with.

I had finally cooled down when there was a timid knock on my door. My dad told me we were all going to Luigi's for dinner. Smart choice, seeing as good Italian food was the only thing that had a chance of getting me out of my room peacefully.

Then I was informed that today was going to be a "pass day".

But once we were seated in the restaurant, the smart brain cells didn't stick around, not where my mother was concerned anyway.

"Please, Annabelle, get diet cola not regular," Mom begged in front of our waitress. "Please for Mommy!"

I stared at her and shook my head.

She was crazy.

Did she not understand the concept of a pass day?

We were at an Italian restaurant where my favorite food, spaghetti and meatballs, was their specialty. I hadn't had spaghetti in a month and a half!

Calories at home can be monitored more easily than at a restaurant! My mind mimicked in Mom's voice, repeating what she had said when I started this diet.

I ignored her plea and ordered: "I want a regular cola, please."

Mom let out an exasperated breath and dramatically flipped open her menu, scanning the drink selection for herself.

"Since a certain someone doesn't want to make the healthy decision, I'll go ahead a get that diet cola. Maybe she'll change her mind later," Mom told the waitress, letting out a little giggle as if to say, 'Oh this girl, she's fat and doesn't know dieting should be a way of life for her. Because she's fat. Oh, did I forget to mention she's fat? That's because she's fat, and fat people shouldn't drink regular cola, it'll only make them fatter!'

Wow, she had no limits.

Mom had no problem acting like a fool in public just to make her point.

To put it simply: dinner was a disaster.

But I didn't care.

I got to eat spaghetti with meatballs for the first time in nearly two months!

If I had to sit through my mother hounding me in front of an entire restaurant about getting diet cola, just to get my favorite meal in the entire world, then I'd happily do it again.

But next time I'd pack earplugs.

When we got home, I went to my room to see if my cell phone was finished charging. I turned it on and it beeped several times, telling me I'd received five text messages while I was gone.

Who sent me messages?

Tiger sent you a message! (4)

Jenna sent you a message! (1)

I felt like I was about to have a mini heart attack when I saw 'Tiger' on my screen.

I was so confused.

I'd told myself that I was no longer interested in that douche – who dared to flirt with that attention-whore Donna right in front of me, as if I didn't exist.

He was supposed to be 'so whatever!' from now on.

My body dared to disagree with my mind. It shivered in anticipation of discovering what he wrote to me. I resisted the urge and tapped on Jenna's message first. Her text was probably going to be funny and I needed funny and lightheartedness before delving into more pressing matters that concerned my sanity.

Jenna: My dad's kur-azy! He ordered special t-shirts for my swim meets. Jenna's Dad, arrow pointing up. And 1 for mom 2! Think I can get away with telling everyone we're not related? Bitch you better answer me! Laters

Okay, that didn't exactly help. In fact, it made me depressed knowing that her parents cared enough about her to get lame t-shirts made. They were proud of their daughter and weren't afraid to show it. Maybe Mom would get custom shirts made if I managed to lose twenty-five pounds – my first achievement.

'My daughter lost twenty-five pounds and I'm so proud!'

I laughed, thinking about my mom walking around the neighborhood proudly sporting the t-shirt, a huge grin on her face.

That feels better!

I had a new smile on my face that I desperately needed before diving into James's text messages. I tapped on his name. Four messages popped up, one after the other.

Tiger 6:00pm: Hey you there?

That's it?

Yes I'm here!

But I'm gonna need a bit more than that if you want me to text back, DOUCHE!

Tiger 6:28pm: R u ignoring me? Because of Donna? Fireball, you know it wasn't like that!

I shook my head.

Wrong again.

First of all, it wasn't entirely about Donna, second of all, you're a spoiled little brat who thinks his shit doesn't stink. Some of us have to work, unlike you.

Tiger 6:46pm: Fireball! Don't ignore me :( It was nothing. We were just talking about nothing

Then why was she blushing like you just told her something dirty?

I'm not stupid!

I mouthed "Whatever" to the screen and checked the next message.

Tiger 7:25pm: Wow, so its gonna be like that huh!

What the hell did he want from me!

He was the one who walked away from me!

Yeah, so I'd told him I had to get back to work, but he didn't have to agree right away and return to the attention-whore!

Not cool!

I tapped 'reply' on the newest message. I was going to give him a piece of my mind.

Annabelle 7:45pm: That's right its gonna be like that. I don't owe u anything. We don't even know each other! Get over yourself, it wasn't about DONNA! Some of us aren't as lucky as you, we still have to work! Remember that the next time you decide to gloat!

I pressed 'send' and threw the phone onto my bed.

BOOM!

That's what's up, douchebag!

My phone beeped.

If I was honest with myself, I was a bit scared to pick up my phone, like it would burn me if I touched it.

New Message from Tiger!

I reluctantly opened his text. Here goes nothing.

Tiger 7:47pm: Oh yeah! U need to have your ears checked, I didn't gloat! Weren't you the one who tried to lock lips with me? Stop lying to urself. It was about Donna, jealous I was talking to her and not you.  
From your hot studded fantasy

Oh my God, he did not just write that!

I almost kissed him?!

Was he kidding?

I wasn't jealous!

I threw my phone back onto my bed, it bounced and landed on my pillow. My body felt like it was in flames. I struggled out of my sweater and whipped it across the room. It didn't make me feel any better.

I grabbed my black sweater from my closet, its zippered pockets were perfect for carrying my iPod. I shoved my arms through the sleeves and placed my iPod in the pocket, pulling out my headphones as I closed my bedroom door behind me.

"I'm going biking!" I yelled from the front door.

"You're going to exercise?!" Mom exclaimed from the basement. "That's wonderful, Annabelle, I'm so proud of you!"

Maybe some exercise will help clear my mind!

Chapter 6

ANNABELLE

Tuesday August 21, 2012

"Go Jenna!" I screamed from the top of the bleachers at the Royal Heights High pool.

It had been three whole weeks since I last saw or spoke with James.

Like I care! I reminded myself, turning my attention back to the mock swim meet. The team's first competition was scheduled for the end of September. Jenna had quit the club a week ago to focus on the new training schedule.

She is so getting that scholarship!

I beamed like a proud parent as Jenna brought it home for her relay team, finishing off her freestyle with a quick tap on the wall. Losing her at work and pretending not to care about James's absence had turned working at the club into pure torture.

Like I cared if I saw his – very cute – ass anymore...

I shook my head and laughed at the realization...that I was a fraud!

Damn it. I exhaled a long, slow breath. I thought my body and mind had reached an understanding, but thoughts of James had been plaguing me since he left. I'd been tormented by these stupid, inexplicable feelings every time my mind drifted to something even remotely linkable to him.

Need a boyfriend. Like, now!

What was happening to me?

All of a sudden I'd become a desperate horn-dog!

Maybe I'd have a boyfriend able to suppress these out-of-control feelings if people weren't always on my ass about my appearance, destroying any remnant of confidence I possessed.

How could I snag a man if I never believed I was good enough?

According to Jenna, I was cute. And I was sure there was a guy out there who wouldn't mind his girl having a little junk in the trunk.

I was sure he's out there...somewhere...

The buzzer rang loudly, signally that the meet was over. I looked down the bottom of the bleachers, Jenna's parents were sitting with the other parents, all abuzz with excitement.

A pang of jealously shot through me. They were wearing the t-shirts her dad had ordered: his in blue, hers in pink. Her dad jumped from his seat to enthusiastically applaud his daughter's victory.

"Yeah! Jenna, my baby girl!" He fist-pumped the air then nudged his wife to join in on his embarrassing display of affection.

Jenna's mom laughed and put her arm up in a haphazard attempt at a fist-pump. He laughed and grabbed her arm, shaking it to match his own excitement. As soon as he released her arm, she dropped it to her side, shaking her head at the mother seated beside her.

"I can't bring him anywhere," She smiled, unashamed. This was an everyday thing for her and she clearly loved him for it.

I let out another long breath and headed down the bleachers. As I passed Jenna's parents, they told me to tell Jenna not to take an hour to change. I chuckled, knowing exactly what they meant.

"I'll try," I promised and headed into the hall to the alternate entrance to the change rooms. That was the only way I could enter because I had street shoes on.

"Fireball?"

I froze.

Nervousness consumed my body. I was only 'Fireball' to one person.

I hesitantly turned around. James was walking down the hallway towards me. His dark hair, normally so messy, was damp and slicked back.

He'd obviously just had a shower.

Do not go there!

Annabelle, for Christ's sake, DO not go there... Shower...James...God!

My mouth went as dry as the Sahara as he came closer. With his hair combed back, I could see more of his beautiful – stop it! – face, and his green eyes... Damn!

Why did he have to be so good looking?

I had to calm down or he'd think I was some jittering freak.

"Hey," I said nonchalantly – or did my best to, at least.

Play it cool, don't let him see he affects you, at all.

"What are you doing here, come to watch me practice?" He smirked and folded his arms across his tightly-shirted chest.

Sigh... I mean, hell no!

Shaking out of the brief imagining of muscles and how his tight shirt would look so much better on the ground, I took a step back and did my best to seem bewildered at the audacity of his claim.

"You need to get over yourself," I scowled.

"Why would I? I don't see you running away. Guess you're not as offended as you think you are," James stated smugly.

My light brown eyes widened at his comment. "What?"

"Be honest, you miss me!" He smirked again, taking a step closer.

My heart was beating like crazy. "I don't!" I took another step back, keeping the distance between us.

"Then why are you here? It's still summer, beautiful. School doesn't start for another few weeks." His grin got wider, thinking he'd got me.

And he kind of did.

The way he looked at me was making me sweat.....

Calling me 'BEAUTIFUL' was a whole new level....GOD!

I'm beautiful! I gushed silently, feeling a joy reserved only for Christmas and birthdays.

Be on your guard, girl.

He knows what he's doing!

I tried to shake it off, realizing he probably thought he had me in his pocket. He did, sort of, but I had to put a stop to it.

I leaned towards him.

"I'm here to see my best friend swim in a mock meet," I explained. "So go screw yourself!"

His jaw clenched tightly and the warmth in his green eyes seeped away, leaving a stony coolness.

"I wish I could, but it's usually better if there's two people doing it," James responded.

Don't fall for it..... he's playing you!

I stood silently.

It took me a moment to register the words pouring out of his – sigh – beautiful mouth. Then, like lightening, it all came crashing down, making sense.

Was he...did he mean us?

Doing it?!

Like together?

I felt my cheeks heat at a rate that would burst a thermometer.

"I've got to go," I muttered, swallowing my heart back down.

My brain was slowly.....turning to mush.

I had to get away from him.

James nodded, his expression unchanging. My body now felt incredibly drunk. With my brain, too incapacitated to send a signal down to my sluggish legs to turn and walk away, the time to move, was now.

I regained control and pushed into the girls' change room. I stopped between the outer and inner doors, resting against the wall for a moment as I composed myself. My heart rate needed to slow way down if I had any hope of forgetting what just happened, especially if I had to explain it to Jenna.

There was a mirror with a counter along one wall of the little hallway between the two doors. I faced the mirror, preparing to check my reflection to see how bad the damage was. If it was anything like how I felt at that moment, it would not be good. But, I was hopeful.

Please...not a disaster!

Carefully, I opened my eyes. All I saw was red.

I was literally red.

Shit!

I was horrified as I examined the shade of my cheeks. Thankfully, my hair was fine except for the beads of sweat that threatened to ruin the flat-ironing job I'd put my long strands through this morning.

Jesus! I could walk twenty minutes in the blistering heat then sit in the sauna-like pool area, and not sweat like I was now.

What was he doing to me?!

It's like I'd never see a cute – okay, really hot – guy before!

I shook my head. I was confused at my body's weird reaction to him. I wiped the beads of sweat off my forehead and stared at my reflection. My pupils looked dilated – honestly, I looked like I'd just gone through the biggest shock of my life.

You know why you feel like this, I explained to myself, 'cause he brought up having sex with him.

I clung to the counter for support, trying to control my breathing. The thought of doing anything like that with James was sending me into sweaty tremors.

The sound of excitement and shouting come from beyond the inner door.

Jenna! I suddenly remembered why I was here. I threw off the lust-filled tremors and glanced at the mirror one last time. My cheeks had regained some of their original color.

I pushed open the door to look for Jenna and congratulate her.

*~*~*

It was late afternoon by the time Jenna and her parents left the school for a celebratory dinner. They'd invited me to come but I graciously declined, telling them I had to eat at home tonight. I didn't mention that Mom would blow a gasket if I had dinner at a restaurant for the second time this month. As far as she was concerned, the 'pass day' was a one-time indulgence. And she had made it irritatingly clear how much she regretted it every day for the past three weeks, always complaining that she didn't understand how she'd let it happen.

Let it happen? That's a laugh! Oh, it would have happened, I thought, recalling how the only thing that had kept me from cracking into a hysterical fit of angry tears was the pasta from Luigi's.

Don't think about pasta.

My stomach grumbled at the delicious reminder of rich tomato sauce over beautifully cooked pasta.

Damn it!

I was walking back home after declining Jenna's dinner invitation. I regretted saying no, especially when I realized what I'd be getting for dinner tonight: salad again, and steamed fish with lemon, ugh!

I turned to the patch of grass next to the sidewalk and kicked it. I was beyond frustrated and the only thing here to kick the shit out of was someone's front lawn.

Damn it, my entire summer had been horrible!

From working under Shelby and meeting James only to realize he was a cocky asshole, to Jenna quitting work to train and spend all her time with the swim team. And the nasty cherry on top was this freaking diet I was being forced to do.

During my SUMMER!

When was I going to have any fun?

Wasn't summer supposed to be fun?

I glanced around the neighborhood. I'd been walking on autopilot. I was only a few blocks away from the best plaza, featuring all kinds of entertainment and shopping.

The movie theatre!

I hadn't been to the movies once this summer. It wasn't that I didn't want to go, it was Mom's paranoia about me possibly eating popcorn and drinking a regular Coke that drove her to plead for me not to go. I didn't have energy to fight anymore, nor the will, so I gave in to her ridiculous request about skipping the movies for a while.

Well not now!

I decided then and there that I was going to watch a freaking movie.

With popcorn.

And a regular Coke.

I was determined, for the first time this was summer, I was going to enjoy it.

I texted Mom, telling her that the meet was running long and that I'd be home in a couple of hours.

Not surprisingly, she responded with:

Mom: Don't eat anything. Dinner will be waiting!

Jesus, it's always about the food with her.

Was it ever going to be about, like, if I was safe or not?

As soon as I hit Main Street, I was visually attacked by the traffic – it was insane! I entered the expansive parking lot, the only empty spots were the ones furthest away from the stores. There were cars everywhere, trying to get a closer parking spot. It was looking more like some new sporting event than a parking lot. I was glad to be on the safe sidewalk. But soon crowds of people replaced the aggressive cars.

I paused for a moment to look around and the crowd bumped its way by, almost taking me along unwillingly.

I wandered passed a few clothing stores and shoe stores that I wanted to check out later, after I received my next pay. I'd allocated a certain amount for back to school shopping and couldn't wait to get started.

I stopped in front of Mark Theatres. It was the biggest theatre complex I'd ever seen. Truly amazing. I rejoiced at the sight of the massive structure before entering the box office.

Here's to taking control. I mentally clinked glasses with myself.

Smiling, I examined the show times, hoping there was a movie starting soon. Unfortunately, the only one about to start was a horror.

Damn it!

I grimaced at the thought of watching Final Destination Twelve. I didn't like scary movies.

At all.

My body was already tensing and breaking into a nervous sweat at the mere idea of watching one alone.

"Do it," I pressured myself quietly.

I nodded and joined the long ticket line. There were a surprising number kids lined up, all jumping up and down excitedly.

No way, they can't be here for Final Destination!

I scanned the listings board again, searching for any children's movies playing later.

None!

I shook my head in amused disbelief. Here I was sweating over watching a scary movie and these kids were bouncing off the walls for it.

Was I pathetic or what!

I listened in as a father and son approached the counter: Final Destination Twelve, they announced to the ticket agent.

I watched as the ten-year-old peered over the counter as his father exchanged money for tickets.

"Cool!" the boy yelled.

His dad laughed. "Daniel, calm down."

"Come on Dad, we need to get a good seat!"

Come on, Dad... Come on, Mom... Come on, Charles and Katherine.

I couldn't even imagine being that pumped for a movie.

I lived in the real world. And in the real world, I was alone.

The sight of each family made me depressed as I thought of my own family. We each did our own thing most of the time.

The line moved along. My turn finally came and I hesitated for a few seconds.

"Are you going?" someone asked from behind me.

I didn't respond, just rushed up to the counter and ordered my ticket. Next, I bee-lined it for the concession stand where I stood with silent glee. It was time for what I'd been craving all day: a popcorn and a regular Coke.

"Having a hard time making up your mind, Fireball?"

I froze for a few seconds before craning my neck to check behind me. I blinked back the shock of seeing him.

James!

He was behind me, towering above me with a giant smirk on his face.

"What are you doing here?" My shocked heart began to race.

"To watch a movie, obviously," He scowled.

What's his problem? Douche!

I turned my focus away, deciding what size of popcorn I wanted.

"Whatever. Have a good one," I replied and walked to the counter. I could feel him follow, close enough that I could catch his scent over the buttery popcorn.

Damn it!

Why did he have to smell so good?!

"Why are you always running away from me?" He asked, amusedly.

Focus on the popcorn... Focus on the popcorn...butter...yum...James, yum...I mean, NO! Damn it!

"I'm not. I need popcorn." I turned my head to hide the blush I knew was creeping in.

I need... popcorn?

Couldn't I come up with something better than that?

"When are you going to stop lying to yourself? I make you nervous, it's so obvious," James declared, smirking.

The heat burning through me cooled down just a touch at his cocky candor.

Yeah, you make me nervous, but don't flaunt it in my face, asshole!

I tossed him a dirty look over my shoulder.

"You. Need. To. Get. Over. Yourself!"

"You need to get over me," He replied, laughing.

I ignored him and ordered a small bag of popcorn and a small coke.

Food in hand, I turned back to him. "Enjoy."

"No, you enjoy," I heard him call after me before approaching the snack counter.

Don't tell me to 'Enjoy' anything.....

As I entered the theatre I found myself wondering what movie he could be seeing. I climbed the stairs and sat at the very back. The three rows ahead of me were all empty, making it feel very private. If I had a mini panic attack during the movie, there wouldn't be any witnesses. I leaned back and rested my feet on top of the chair in front of me.

This feels so good, I thought, closing my eyes.

"Excuse me."

My eyes snapped open to find James towering over me again. His legs were nudging mine, clearly wanting to get by.

"There are a million empty rows you can sit in, why this one?" I asked, keeping my legs where they were.

He crossed his arms, nudging my legs again. "I always sit in the same spot whenever I go to the movies."

Really?

"Fine." I dropped my legs down so he could pass through. He took one step and stopped in front of the seat beside me.

"Really?" I asked, bewildered. "Really? This is your spot, the one you always sit in when you come to the movies?"

"That's right." He stretched out his long legs, mirroring the position I'd just been in.

How am I going to get through an hour and a half with him right next to me?

I could pick another a seat...No...this is my seat.

I'll just have to deal with it.

I stared straight ahead and accepted it.

New thoughts began to surface.

Maybe...he likes me? I squirmed at the thought.

We remained silent until the movie began. Then he leaned into me, whispering into my ear. Sending waves of feelings so strong, I was beginning to think I was hallucinating.

"Feel free to hold on to me if you get scared, Fireball," James offered.

Be cool!

"I'm good." I shrugged, my eyes not leaving the screen. I felt him turn back to the movie.

Well done!

"We'll see," he whispered huskily.

He was so full of himself.

*~*~*

I made good on that promise. For the first half hour, I managed to keep a brave face at things that, had I been alone, would have had me flinching and screaming

Then the worst scene imaginable happened.

Why?

Why'd I pick this movie?

I fidgeted in my seat, sliding further down. My hand had a new home next to my eyes, saving me from experiencing the horrific deaths of the next few scenes.

I looked away from the screen and picked my popcorn bucket off the ground. James had been drinking a bottle of water gradually since the movie started. He was fine. He didn't jump or slide down into his seat or cover his eyes.

Not once.

He's got courage.

His eyes never closed, even when it became gory.

I was jealous that he could do that and I couldn't.

I peered into my bucket of popcorn; I had a lot left. I contemplated sharing with James so it wouldn't go to waste.

"Want some?" I whispered, leaning the bucket towards him. I was instantly assaulted by his signature scent of shampoo and cologne.

Smells so good!

He leaned in and grabbed a few. "Thanks."

He didn't take his eyes off the screen. I turned my head back to the movie just in time to see a car pinning a girl to the wall by her neck.

"Oh God!" I whispered involuntarily, covering my eyes as fast as humanly possible. I didn't want to see this play out to its inevitable end.

A warm hand closed over mine, trying to pull my hand from my eyes.

"Fireball, it's over." His whisper sent shivers down my spine.

"Are you sure?" I asked, worriedly.

"Yes, don't worry, it's over."

I allowed my hand to be pulled from my face.

He didn't let go.

I stared at our clasped hands, unsure what I should do.

Should I let go or play dumb and continue to joyously hold onto his large hand?

I'll take option two, please!

Chapter 7

ANNABELLE

I was a fool.

And a fraud.

The mirror of truth would have reflected back the image of a little girl so delusional she'd believe shit didn't actually stink. The tight grip of his rough, callused hand over mine sent my brain into overdrive. I was no longer on Earth as my brain pulled its entire offensive line and put them hard at work analyzing this thing that was happening between him and I.

What movie were we watching again...?

Thank God theatres weren't equipped with special lighting that illuminated bodily fluids. A warm layer of sweat formed between our hands, increasing by the second. My heart was pounding erratically, the handholding was too much for it to handle, or comprehend.

Unlike my body.

My body knew exactly what it wanted when his skin touched mine: to tell my brain to screw off and just go with it.

The movie theatre's air conditioning enveloped me. I shivered and my body covered itself in goose bumps. I grabbed the ends of my cardigan with my free hand and tugged them closer to one another. As I did so, I felt my held hand get jerked off the armrest. He was pulling my hand closer to his body. I subtly glanced at our joined hands, then to his face. He was staring fixedly at the screen, oblivious of anything monumental going on between us.

But it was monumental!

For me.

I was sweating like a whore in church. This was the closest thing to 'naughty' I had ever experienced, yet he just sat there, engrossed in the film, as if this handholding was no big deal. It didn't affect him at all. That bothered me.

Was he some sort of experienced Casanova?

Was this an everyday thing for him, charming girls and holding their hands?

Was I, simply, the lucky girl of the week?

I tried to pull my hand from his but I felt his grip tighten, not letting me go, not even a little bit. I pulled again and he gripped my hand even tighter. I stalled in my next attempt. If I tried again his grip would be so tight it would begin to hurt.

I leaned towards him and whispered, "Let go of my hand!"

His gaze didn't leave the screen as he answered. "Nope, I'm good."

"You're good? What about me? I'm not!" I hissed at him.

"Shush!"

My eyes widened.

Did this guy just shush me?

"I'm trying to watch the movie," James continued in a whisper, eyes still glued to the screen. He probably couldn't even look me in the eye because he felt like a fool, acting like a big idiot.

"You did not just shush me," I growled, offended. I decided to take my chances and tug my arm back, maybe he was even more engrossed in the movie now – I hadn't been watching it for the last several minutes, but every so often I heard a scream, a crash, and a body part getting sliced off – there couldn't be that many people left to die.

"Ow!" I yelped as he tightened his grip yet again over my poor, sweaty hand. "You're hurting me!"

"You're in pain?" He asked softly, continuing to watch the movie play out.

"Yes," I declared, gently moved my fingers in his grasp. "my hand's hurting."

He turned to look at me. "I'll make it better."

I was unconvinced. "Yeah, how are you gonna do that?"

A final scream blasted from the speakers and the screen went black as the credits rolled up.

"Like this," James informed softly.

"Like...?"

He raised our hands and shifted his grip, holding on to my wrist now. He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it. I stared at him, dumbfounded, while his lips lay for eons on my skin.

I wasn't sure what to do.

MAYDAY! MAYDAY! MAYDAY!

Total system crash.

What's my name again?

Where was I?

I couldn't think of anything. The system responsible for all information had shut down. The only thing I knew was that his lips were really soft and felt so good. Sweaty tremors rolled along my body. I did my best hide the affect his lips had on me, so I stiffened and sat up straight.

"Better?" he murmured against my skin, his warm breath caressing me.

Thank God for touching... I've never felt like this before...

My eyelids drooped low as his warm breath lingered on my skin. My body shivered in reaction and I struggled to exhale.

Just breathe.

His lips parted from my hand, just an inch but it was enough for me to snap back into reality. My eyes jerked wide open.

Do I feel better? Honestly?

My hand felt nothing but pleasure now. If it hurt, it was a good hurt, one I'd welcome again if James always responded like that.

"Better?" I muttered slowly. My mushy brain only had the repeat function on.

"Yeah baby, better?" His tone gripped the marrow of my bones. His hold around my wrist tightened as if he didn't want to let go, or he worried I had some intention of letting go.

Not in this lifetime and, Jesus, he called me baby, again!

The lights came back on, his green eyes pierced, shining bright under the harsh lights of the empty theatre.

Holy shit, we're alone! I stared down at the empty seats. His hand tightened over mine letting me know, yet again, he had no intention of letting go anytime soon.

"What are you playing at?" I stared at our clasped hands in despair, it didn't make sense that he'd want to touch me like this.

What does he really want from me? My mind flitted back to our earlier meeting in the hallway at school. Doing it?

I felt a small shiver glide along my back at the thought of the two us doing anything more than just holding hands.

I was practically falling off a cliff as it was.

If we kissed, I'd faint.

Anything else... Doing it!

I'd just die.

"Don't over think this," James told me quietly, his voice sounding vaguely amused.

How can I not over think this!

I was stuck in an analytical nightmare. The line was drawn in the sand. I needed to choose right here, right now, which side I wanted to stand on. To go with it or return to acting like an offended bitch to him.

Damn it!

It feels too good!

My body tried to convince my brain, supplying the majority of the evidentiary support it needed to proceed on this 'just go with it' path.

The credits finished and the screen turned off. James got up from his seat and pulled me with him. Still at the mercy of his tight grip, I trailed behind, practically jogging to keep up with his long strides out of the theatre.

Damn his legs are long...Wrapped around me and...STOP!

"Where are we going?" I asked breathlessly. I tried to shake off the almost dirty thought as he led us outside.

"I'm taking you home," James stated, not even bothering to look behind at me.

"You are?" I practically squealed.

"Yes. Now, which way do you live?" He came to a halt on the sidewalk in front of the cinema complex.

Maybe I don't want you to take me home! I should have spoken my mind, but I caved instead.

"Umm left." Even to myself, I sounded bewildered.

He pulled me to the left but we didn't head out of the plaza, instead we went to the parking lot. With his free hand he pressed the button on the car key remote. A few feet away, the lights of a large, black SUV blinked red.

I stared in amazement. Wow...strange that I dreamt this was his car...

"That's your car?"

"Yes," James answered curtly.

I felt my body cool in response to his tone. Some courtesy would have been nice, maybe more than one word snapped out in annoyance.

Yes.

Now.

Move.

You woman, me man.

What is his problem? I fumed. Asshole was beginning to trump cute again.

What am I, a little wheelbarrow he thinks he can drag anywhere he wants?!

I tried to tug my hand back, but his grip remained tight. He stopped suddenly, a few feet away from his car, and I skidded to halt, slamming into his chest as he turned around.

"Stop trying to pull away!" He tilted his head down to order me. I was plastered against him. The warm Florida wind breezed around us, it played with his slicked back hair, throwing it over his forehead.

There's the James I know. A soft giggle escaped me as I watched his hair dance. His green eyes softened at my sound. I took his relaxed expression as my chance to escape. I stepped back, off his chest, and tried to pull my clasped hand away but his hand instinctively tightened as his arm tried to pull me back in to his orbit.

"What?" James asked lightly, oblivious to my struggle to be free of his hold.

"You might need that other hand to fix that wild hair of yours," I suggested before grinning in disbelief at his persistence to keep my hand.

A sly grin stretched slowly across his face.

Oh God! Now what?

"Don't worry about it. I'm good with either my left or right hand...it's always good." He smoothed his hair away for his face with his other hand as he made his explanation.

It took me a second...

What?

I gazed down his arm to our clasped hands.

Left hand or right hand, it doesn't matter– Oh God!

I got it.

"You let go of my hand right now!" I demanded, horrified at what he was insinuating. I jerked my hand back as if he was a flesh-eating zombie, but he just pulled me closer to his body.

Jesus, I might as well have signed a year's lease with the way he's keeping a hold of me. This was ridiculous!

"Let go!" I demanded, lowering my voice as I noticed my face was mere inches away from his.

This is not good!

How was this happening?

I was a strong girl, why couldn't I pull away from him?

I know why! I know why! The voice inside my mind called out, raising her hand enthusiastically.

My brain pointed to her for the answer. You don't really want to let go, you like his skin on yours, it makes you feel too good. She sat back down and grinned slyly, knowingly.

James dragged me to the passenger side of the car, opened the door and guided me in with his hand on the small of my back. Every vein in my entire body felt a surge of electricity course through it. That small touch ignited powerful feelings that were as foreign to my body as low-fat tofu was.

Why am I thinking about tofu? I asked myself as I fumbled with the seat belt. It finally clicked in just before James made it to his door. My eyes took the moment to focus on the jellyroll peeking out over my jeans. I quickly sucked it in as his door opened.

Just don't breathe! I ordered myself. I smiled politely as he got in, buckled up, and started the car.

"What's your address?" He started playing with the buttons on his GPS before I uttered a word.

"7890 Terrace Lane Drive," I answered neutrally. But on the inside I was so happy my calm tone hadn't betrayed my excitement. Now if I could only keep it up until I got home. I tugged the ends of my cardigan together so I could exhale and let my gut stay comfortably hidden behind the shield of the cardigan. I let go of the breath I was holding and felt my stomach fall off the edge of my jeans. A sly glance down proved the cardigan successfully hid the bulge. The fabric lay nicely over my jeans, hiding all my imperfections.

I breathed a small sigh of relief.

You see, its okay.

Just act calm.

Be cool.

All will be okay.

I needed the reassurance.

He smiled as he punched in the address.

Uh oh, that smile!

What was he up to?

"What?" I asked him. I wanted to know what he was thinking about now because I'd begun to notice a pattern with him: whenever he remained quiet but smiled for no reason, it wasn't for no reason.

"You don't live too far from me," James answered, sounding satisfied.

I wasn't wrong about the pattern; his mind was definitely somewhere dirty.

"So?" What was his point? I wanted him to say aloud whatever it was he was thinking. I wanted to fight with him about it.

"It's just something to think about..." His voice rang with possibility.

"Actually, it's nothing to think about, so don't get any ideas," I replied, folding my arms across my chest.

I meant business now.

"Don't worry, I won't be sneaking through your window anytime soon." His grin spread across his face. He stopped at an intersection and turned to me.

Anytime soon?!

I needed to put a stop to him. He was going way overboard with the dirty talk, or whatever it was. The only thing I knew was that I was uncomfortable as hell with the idea of him sneaking through my window.

"Dude, even if you wanted to you couldn't," I answered. "My room's on the second floor, so it might be a little difficult for you seeing as there's no tree to climb."

I turned to the window.

Neutral tone: check.

"So your room's up top, good to know." He rejoiced at figuring out another clue.

What! I spun around to face him, my eyes and mouth wide open.

"It doesn't matter," I snapped, "even if you could fly, you're not invited anyways."

Neutral tone: uncheck.

It was beyond my realm of expression at the moment.

So there!

"Not invited yet," He responded matter-of-factly. The light turned green and he made a left.

"Whatever," I sighed breathlessly, feeling my energy beginning to dwindle. I wasn't going to fight him on this because he wasn't going to get anywhere near my room anyways.

He followed the speed limit and at the rate we were going I'd be home in less than ten minutes. I watched the setting sun through the window, in a few more minutes it would be gone completely and I'd be stuck in a car with James.

Alone.

In the dark.

Breathe! I urged myself.

Change the subject. Maybe I should bring up something he likes? I pondered, stealing a peek at him from the corner of my eye. Perhaps if I brought up a neutral, light, fun topic I could see a different side of him, someone besides the boy who loved to bring up dirty innuendos every chance he could.

Baseball!

"So... How was baseball training?"

He took his eyes off the road for a second to grace me with a glance, smiling.

"It's going pretty good. I'll probably be batting in the first game." His eyes returned to the road but his voice sounded happy.

Baseball makes him happy.

Noted!

"That's cool."

"Yeah, I'm the newbie. But Coach thinks I'm the shit. Not that I blame him, I'm pretty amazing."

Obviously not humble.

"Well, congratulations." I didn't know what else to say. I didn't want to rain on his parade, even though the way he kissed his own ass made me want to shut him down, Annabelle-style.

But I didn't.

"Don't congratulate me now. Do it after I win the first game by slamming an awesome home run."

"You ever hear the phrase 'there's no 'I' in the team'?" I asked in awe of his idea of his own self-worth. He obviously thought he was some sort of superstar.

Definitely not humble.

"Besides, I don't do sporting events," I added.

His eyes shot back and forth between the road and me, narrowing in his confusion.

"That's a crock of shit. You went to that mock swim meet today." He sounded like a lawyer catching the star witness in a lie.

I've wounded him.

"Jenna's my best friend, she's earned that privilege," I explained, like the rules of my world were written and sealed, with no room for any provisions.

"Yeah, and what do I have to do to earn that privilege? Become your boyfriend?" James shook his head and laughed.

The sound of his wild laughter crushed my heart. Humiliation didn't begin to describe it.

Annihilated, that's how I felt.

I wanted to crawl underneath a rock and stay there forever. At least the car was dark so he couldn't see the crimson heating my face.

Why was he laughing?

Was I that bad?

Was the idea of being my boyfriend that horrible?

Whatever was left of my heart began to pound painfully against my chest. The harsh reality was setting in. Who was I kidding, holding on to some miracle that maybe he'd actually like me. He probably held my hand and gave me a ride home out of pity. I wasn't what someone like him would go for and if he ever did, it was probably for something quick and easy.

So he thinks chunky girls put out faster... He thought that if he charmed me a little bit I'd put out!

I wasn't girlfriend material.

He knew what he was worth, yes it was mostly in the looks department because his personality was shit, but he still knew his worth.

My throat burned as my eyes pricked with the beginning stages of a meltdown. A huge bubble filled with anxiety grew in my stomach as he kept laughing. I feared it would inevitably burst and I'd be a hysterical mess right here in his car. I wiped water from the sides of my eyes. Once they were dry, I turned to face him.

Well screw you too! I told him silently as I stared at him in disgust.

I took a deep breath.

"Can you stop the car, please?" I asked him calmly, pulling the best nonchalant face I could muster. He instantly stopped laughing and turned to me.

"What? Why? We're not at your house yet." His voice was now void of the incredible hilarity he'd just experienced.

Asshole!

"Please pull over," I demanded, my voice getting louder and noticeably more irritated.

He reluctantly pulled the car the curb. "What did I do now?"

I needed to get out of this car – like now.

I couldn't breathe.

I unbuckled and flung open the door. "Thanks for the ride. BYE."

I slammed the door shut and began down the sidewalk. Behind me, I heard the engine turn off and his door open and shut. I quickened my stride as James jogged up to me. I slowed down knowing I couldn't escape his long legs anyways.

Plus, I didn't want to get home all sweaty and have to explain myself.

"What happened?" James asked, matching my pace.

"Leave me alone!" I snapped back.

I felt his hand grab my elbow, halting me easily. "Stop," he ordered.

Damn it, he's strong!

"What are you pissed about now?" He towered over me. I was trapped in front of him, if he tugged a bit, I'd be in his embrace.

"It's so funny huh? I'm that bad? I'm a clown, I'm so funny!" I jerked my arm, trying to break free of his grip. "Let me go!"

"No!" He squeezed tighter, pulling me closer.

"Leave me alone!" I spit the words like venom, pulling my arm with all my might.

"What's your problem?" James demanded loudly. His hand tightened on my arm with each attempt to pull away. My energy was dwindling and I was mentally exhausted. I stopped jerking my arm back, deciding it was pointless because he was too strong. There was no way I could pull my arm back without first kneeing him in the balls.

We were alone, standing in the dark of night in a neighborhood that didn't see much traffic.

"Fireball?" he murmured softly.

"What?" I replied quietly, defeated.

Hesitantly, he asked, "Did I say something to make you sad?"

I wasn't going to mention the boyfriend thing.

There was no way.

"Yes," I whimpered.

That's just great, way to sound strong there, now he'll have no reason not to pity you!

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

Well maybe 'I'm sorry' just isn't good enough. The damage is already done!

"Whatever." I snipped.

"What can I do to make it all better?" he murmured.

"There's nothing you could–" I began but was interrupted by him pulling me against his body. His arms encircled my waist, holding me tight. My arms instinctively bent upwards, hands firmly planted against his solid chest. Any resentment I had swiftly melted away as something brand new took its place: pleasure.

Jesus!

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked him softly, his face was only a few inches from mine.

"What do you think you're doing?" James asked back, looking down at my hands on his chest. I slowly slid my arms up around his neck.

I could not believe I just did that!

"That's better." James murmured, huskily.

Our bodies were plastered against one another. I felt a new kind of nervousness touch every single inch of my body.

It prickled electrically.

"James," I murmured softly.

"Fireball," he whispered back.

"What do you think you're doing?" I repeated, my brain felt frozen. My heart had stopped beating a mile a minute instead issuing slow, heavy beats.

James uncurled one of his arms from my waist and trailed it along my back to the base of my neck, holding it firmly yet delicately. Blood rushed to the very spot he was holding, heat filled my eyes as I stared at him.

"What are you doing?" My bewilderment was audible in the hush.

I wasn't sure I had the capacity to speak anymore. That function had fled along with the bitch. Her replacement was a delicate flower that yearned to be touched and taken care of. I felt his hand shift on my neck, ever so slightly, causing my head to tilt up to him. Slowly, inch by inch, his face descended on mine, stopping just a breath away from my trembling lips.

I wanted it.

Badly.

My lips parted a fraction, letting a thread of air escape.

"Can I?" His breath was warm on my lips.

Screw it!

"Yeah," I whispered back. He closed the distance until his lush lips covered mine.

My first kiss...

His lips moved softly over mine. I felt his grip on my neck squeeze as his lips pressed deeper into mine, more urgently. I tightened my hold around him and was pulled even further into his embrace. I devoured his lips hungrily, which were just as hungry for mine.

I felt his wet tongue push its way between my lips. As he entered my mouth, I moved my tongue to join his.

I felt myself running out of breath, but I didn't want to pull back and stop the passion.... I'd sooner faint than pull back.

Possibly the best moment of my life!

My phone beeped.

Damn it! Mom! I stopped moving my lips but his still remained on top of mine. I took a long breath and slowly leaned back. The cool wind swirled around us, eliminating the sweaty warmth we generated.

"Sorry," I murmured breathlessly, "it's my mom."

"Damn, Fireball," he replied slowly, breathlessly. He leaned his forehead against mine and caught his breath.

"Yeah, I know." I couldn't keep the smile from my voice or my face.

*~*~*

"Where have you been?" Mom demanded as I opened the front door.

"I was with Jenna. We were hanging around the pool after the mock meet," I told her as I peeled off my shoes, avoiding eye contact. I wasn't lying, technically, because I did hang out with Jenna after the meet for a short time.

Here's hoping she doesn't call Jenna's parents to confirm this!

"Okay. You didn't eat anything right?"

"No, I didn't." I answered her.

She followed me into the dining room where everyone was already eating.

Hell yeah! No fish tonight! I looked at their plates: chicken breasts with potatoes and mixed vegetables.

That doesn't look too bad, I thought as I took my place at the table.

*~*~*

After a surprisingly delicious dinner, I lay on my bed in my pajamas. It was time to reflect.

But I didn't know where to start.

So much happened in such a short period of time. I'd gone from cold to hot in seconds, and all because of a kiss.

A sweet, long, beautiful kiss!

I smiled contently and crossed my arms behind my head. I stared at the ceiling, envisioning James and I locked in that heated embrace again.

I could not believe that happened!

I took a deep breath before the fool's smile returned, stretching painfully across my face.

Still couldn't believe that happened.

My first kiss, while wrapped in his strong arms.

How did it happen?!

After I'd answered Mom's annoying text, James and I separated and he offered to rush me home before I got into any more trouble.

He was so sweet...after.

I had him drop me in front of a house three doors from mine. I didn't want Mom to see me being dropped off by some stranger and grill me about my whereabouts.

That would have been bad...

"I'll talk to you later?" The hesitation in his voice caught me as I opened the passenger side door. I took a moment before answering, unsure of what to say.

What do girls normally say back?

I can't respond with a 'Hell yeah!' he'll think I'm weird.

I slipped out of the car. Turning to him from the pavement I decided the cool, calm approach should work.

"You'll text me?" I offered.

A huge grin spread across his face before he turned to face the wheel again.

"Yeah, I'll text," he answered, green eyes shining through the darkness as he shifted the car back into drive.

Yay! I jumped up and down inside. I gave him back a regular smile, nothing that betrayed how my body screamed with crazy joy.

"Cool. Bye."

"Bye," he replied as I shut the car door. I took a few steps towards a house that wasn't mine and heard his car pull away before I turned back and walked towards my house.

Wow! What a night! I thought, pulling the blanket over my body and turning to my side. I closed my eyes and prepared for sleep without doing my ritual of staring at the ceiling while it shot horrible things my way.

I was unbelievably happy.

There was nothing anyone could ever say that could bring me down again.

Not anymore.

Chapter 8

ANNABELLE

Wednesday August 22, 2012

166... What?

No, that can't be right!

I stepped off the scale and let it reset. I tapped it again with my toe and waited until the digital display read zero. I stepped back on, the screen blink random numbers on and off until it finally settled on my weight.

166 pounds!

Shit!

There were days I could have gotten away with not losing any weight as long as I didn't gain any either. But today was Wednesday, the one day each week where I was expected to have lost at least something.

Damn it! She's going to blow a fuse when she finds out I didn't lose anything!

I stepped off the scale and pushed the horrible thought aside and tried to think about last night.

With James.

My first kiss! I smiled widely, the thought sent tingles up my spine. I kicked the mean scale back underneath the sink and leaned over to grab my green toothbrush.

"ANNABELLE!"

Shit!

I could lie...

As I brushed my teeth, time ticked by, bringing me closer to the event with Mom. I contemplated lying about the weight, it was far more desirable than facing the wrath of that woman. But if she insisted on checking for herself and saw that I, in fact, didn't lose weight, she'd never trust me again. She'd probably make me weigh myself in front of her from then on. I shook my head and pushed the idea away, not wanting to risk it.

"ANNABELLE!"

I began to feel panicked as I stared into the hallway. I was running out of options. I couldn't even bolt out of the house claiming I'd be late for work.

I was off today.

Damn it, stupid work schedule.

"ANNABELLE!" Mom shouted for the third time from the foyer, sounding three times as impatient as the first time she yelled for me.

Damn it, woman!

Happy thoughts...think happy thoughts!

Think about James, he equals happy now.

Remember how he said he'd text you, I thought while trying to dissipate the growing ball of anxiety in my stomach. I took a deep breath and prepared to face the crazy woman. I stopped halfway down the stairs when I saw Mom sitting on the bottom step waiting for me.

I didn't even know where to begin...She's plain crazy, lost it!

I stared wide-eyed down the stairs and she turned around at the sound of my footsteps.

"What are you doing up there, can't you see I'm waiting for you?" She complained, waving her little blue book in the air.

One day, I'm going to throw that stupid book into the fireplace, I imagined. I stared down at the book for a moment, shook off the image of its charred pages and continued my trek down the stairs to join her sadistic weekly tradition.

"Hurry up," she said, getting up and heading to the living room.

"Why are we going in there?" I followed slowly.

"Because I want to do this here," She bent behind the couch and I heard her pick up something heavy.

"Do what here?"

She pulled out a white digital scale. I stared down at the brand new mean-machine in horror.

Where the hell did she get that?

And why?

"Mom, you know we already have a scale upstairs," I said slowly, hoping it was all a big mistake.

Maybe she thought my scale was broken?

"That's your scale, this one is mine. I'll be using this one from now on to log your weight each week," She explained happily. She placed the scale on the ground in front of me and tapped it. "Go on."

"You have got to be kidding me!" I didn't move. "I'm not going on that thing, I weighed myself upstairs already."

"Anna, I need your weekly results to be as accurate as possible. For all I know, you've been lying so far, telling me what I want to hear," Mom explained, sounding like she'd had no choice but to take matters into her own hands. "When I look at you, it doesn't seem like you've actually lost any weight."

"Are you calling me a liar?" I asked slowly. I felt my fists clench, my knuckles bulged. I was mad.

This woman... she's finally done it now... lost her marbles... Well I won't stand it for it anymore!

My time weighing myself was supposed to be private. It was for no one to see but myself. I explained this to her in the beginning.

I shook my head, "I'm not getting on that thing."

"Get on the scale, Annabelle! I won't ask you again," Mom warned angrily. She was probably even angrier with me for taking all the fun out of weighing me herself. Finally taking matters into her own hands and here I was ruining her shining moment.

"No!" I repeated even louder.

She could warn and threaten all she wanted, I wasn't stepping on anybody else's scale, not unless they were a doctor or the nutritionist and even that was done in private – I loved making Mom wait in the hallway during appointments.

Damn it, I had rights in that office.

I'll be damned if I don't have the same rights here!

"Mom, where are you?" I heard Katherine yell from the top of the stairs.

"The living room, sweetie!" Mom yelled back.

I glanced up at the living room entrance just as Katherine sauntered in wearing her black leotard and pink tights. She was skinny but she was also only eleven. With her blue eyes and light brown hair, she'd gotten Mom's traits while I'd gotten most of mine from Dad's side of the family: dark brown hair with the odd light strand and caramel-colored eyes. Although, strangely, Dad had the same blue eyes and dark blond hair that Mom did. If I wasn't the same height as Mom and looked identical to Dad's grandma, then I would have thought I was adopted for sure. I was nothing like any of them, in physicality or personality.

"Why are you yelling, Annabelle?" Katherine asked in her cute-little-girl voice, stopping next to Mom who wrapped her hair into a high bun.

"Annabelle doesn't want to weigh herself in front of me," Mom explained to her, clearly exasperated as she took the bobby pins out of Katherine's hand and secured the bun. I didn't know why she was telling Katherine any of this, she was just a little kid.

She wants to tag-team again, I thought, paranoid. I scowled at the pair of them for thinking they could go against me.

We'll see who the victor will be this time!

Two of them against me.

The new me wouldn't curl up into a ball and surrender. No, she'd take them both by the throat and toss them into oblivion.

BOOM!

Katherine looked back and forth between Mom and me. She looked cute in her little outfit. It made me think, very briefly, of when she first began dancing at the age of five. She was actually a sweet little sister back then. I hadn't felt affection like that for her for the last two years.

It WAS Mom.

She was the one filling Katherine with all this hatred towards me. Making her think that being a little overweight was the worst thing in the world.

"I'll weigh myself in front of you, Mommy," Katherine offered, sugar dripping from her voice.

That little sneaks!

Goody two shoes!

Always brown-nosing! The vicious thoughts spewed as Katherine stepped onto the scale. She didn't look cute anymore.

Katherine glanced up as she read her results to Mom. "I weigh 85 pounds, Mom. Is that okay?" She asked worriedly.

Oh God! Mom better say she's at a good weight.

I glanced between Mom and Katherine. Mom smiled affectionately at her little girl and caressed the side of her face as she stepped off the scale.

I'd never get that from her... I was immediately depressed.

"Darling, you're perfect," She gushed as she pulled my sister into a big momma-bear hug and kissed her on the cheek. Katherine stepped away and grinned at me, silently saying 'There!'

Oh little sister, how I love these unspoken moments between us.

As Katherine sat on the couch, Mom turned back to me, her face transitioning from sweet to scowling in a second.

"You see, Annabelle, it wasn't so bad," she scolded.

I'm not stepping on that thing in front of you! I silently screamed at her.

I shook my head. "I'm not doing it," I told her firmly, folding my arms across my chest.

"Why do you insist on making things difficult?" Mom sounded really frustrated now. She sat down on the couch, crossing her legs and looking up at me like she was tired of it all. I was sure she was thinking, 'This girl's attitude is horrible.'

"Yeah, Annabelle." I heard a chuckle from behind me. I turned around just as Charles walked into the living room and joined Mom and Katherine on the couch. "Why do you make things so difficult?" he repeated Mom's argument with a sneer.

Nice to see you too, little brother, perfect timing as usual.

"Mind your business, Chuck," I warned using the name he loved.

His head jerked up and he gave me a dirty look.

"Don't call your brother that," Mom rebuked. "Charles is not Chuck."

"Then you tell him to mind his business and not to laugh at me like a rude little snot." I glowered at him.

"Annabelle! Apologize now!"

I jerked my chin up. "No, he started it."

"Don't be a child, apologize now!" she ordered.

"How about...NO!"

Dad suddenly barged in. "What's going on in here? I can hear everyone from upstairs!"

"Annabelle, will not weigh herself in front of me," Mom explained with a sigh.

"Annabelle called me Chuck," Charles added, like it actually bothered him.

Bullshit!

Dad turned to me, shaking his head. "Jesus Annabelle, this is how you wake everyone up this morning, with that horrible attitude of yours..." He sounded more disappointed than anything.

My attitude?!

I was taken aback. He hadn't even seen what happened and he was already taking everyone else's side.

Traitor! I looked at him with disgust. I could feel the beginnings of my inner hurricane spilling out. I knew at any moment my face would start going red. They'd pushed me too far now.

I was beyond control.

And I know exactly who's to blame!

I ignored Dad and turn back to Mom, disgust written across my face.

"Are you happy?" I asked curtly, my voice low.

"What are you talking about?" She looked bewilderedly between Dad and I. Charles and Katherine's smirks fell from their faces and they sat back quietly.

Smart, I thought as I narrowed my eyes at them accusatorily.

"Are you satisfied? Every single person in this family despises me, thanks to you!" I yelled.

Mom eyes widened. She looked like her head was going to explode from my accusations.

"That is outrageous, how dare you say that to me!" She yelled back, getting off the couch.

"It's not outrageous!" I retorted. "How come I'm always attacked, huh? How come my little brother and little sister always treat me like shit?" I flung my hands towards the now quiet twosome.

"Annabelle," Mom muttered, speechless.

I continued scowling at her, my back to still-silent Dad.

"You have an explanation why my baby sister looks at me like I'm a joke? Or do you know the reason why my little brother antagonizes me every chance he gets while you guys sit back and watch? I've never done anything to you guys to deserve this shit!" My voice was getting hoarse. I was on the cusp of a meltdown, right in front of my entire, disrespecting family.

The room stayed silent, no one said a word.

Well, screw you all! I thought, trying to distract myself from falling apart in front of them. I could feel my eyes welling up but I took a deep breath and blinked it back. I had to get out of this room before I really lost it.

I felt the frustrated tears officially announce their arrival and this time they were here to stay. I couldn't pull them back; when they wanted to spill, they did so freely.

I ran from the room, the first tear spilling as I hit the bottom of the staircase.

No one called me to come back.

No one shouted that they were sorry.

And I didn't expect anything less, not from them.

They were all selfish people!

I couldn't wait for the moment when I could leave and never to have to see their disgusting, traitorous faces again.

When I reached my room, my face was wet with tears. I slammed the door shut with all my might, hoping I'd break it. I paced frantically, holding my arms together to stop them from shaking.

I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN THAT SCALE AND THROWN IT OUT THE WINDOW!

Smashed it to pieces!

A new window would have hurt their pockets, for sure!

I shook my head and laughed deliriously at the thought.

Then I'd be sent to the loony bin. They'd like that, me under 24/7 surveillance, controlled and out of their hair.

I stopped pacing my room, suddenly feeling like I couldn't breathe anymore.

I had to get out this house.

Now!

I quickly changed out of my pajamas and put on a pair of skinny jeans with a long black t-shirt that was a little tight. I grabbed a navy blue sweater-jacket off the ground and shoved it into my backpack along with my phone, keys, and wallet. I shouldered my backpack and headed to the bathroom where I applied deodorant and ran a comb through my hair, putting it up in a high ponytail. I washed the tearstains from my face, hoping I didn't look too distraught. I glanced up at the mirror, Good!

I approved of my reflection then stormed down the stairs, making as much noise as possible.

"Where do you think you are going?" Mom's hoarse voice yelled from the living room. "We're not finished here."

I grabbed a pair of black slip-on converse sneakers. "Going out now, bye," I called.

They all stared, dumbfounded, from the living room.

I opened the front door, shoes in hand, and fled, closing the door before they had a chance to demand something else or accuse me of being rude.

Yeah, I'll be back later...much later...maybe never!

I sat down on the curb to put my shoes on. I'd probably looked like a fool leaving my house carrying my shoes, backpack bouncing around – like a runaway.

Believe me, I was almost there. I could be a runaway... I am a runaway, or I will be sooner rather than later if they kept this harassment up.

I stood and headed down the sidewalk. I didn't know where to go but anywhere, even just strolling up and down the sidewalk was better than being trapped in that hell house for another minute.

It was peaceful and quiet outside. The birds' chirping wasn't going to give me a headache like those four back home would.

*~*~*

By the time I'd reached the nearest park, I had calmed down a bit. I sat on the first bench I came to and plopped my backpack down beside me. I pulled out my phone and discovered I had three missed texts. I must not have heard my phone beep through all the shouting. I pushed the message button and saw that one of the messages was from Mom, sent just a few minutes ago.

The other two messages were from – sigh – James.

The first was from midnight last night.

I instantly regretted turning my phone off last night to let it charge. A late night text session with James would have been something to stay up for. I checked his next message and was happily relieved that it had only been sent ten minutes ago.

Glee!

Should I do good messages, bad (Mom) message? Good...bad...good... good...?

I tapped on Mom's message first, thinking it would be best to get rid of the bad first.

Mom: Your father and I realize you may need some time to cool off. We give you permission to spend some time outside and reflect. If you will not be back for lunch, please say so. And please eat something healthy and low calorie. Please be responsible with the independence we've generously allowed you to have.  
Love: mom and dad.

How do you give someone independence? I contemplated as I stared at the message. I read the message for a second time, feeling my mouth go dry and my body shake. I mentally gave them both the finger.

I walked out on my own! No one could have stopped me.

I felt my face heat up. Her choice of words to describe the situation she had created was irritating the hell out of me.

I bent over and rested my elbows on my thighs, closing my eyes.

"Just breathe," I murmured quietly.

Check the other messages.

Happy messages!

I opened my eyes, sat back up, and checked James's message from midnight.

Tiger: Fireball, u awake?

That's it?

It was still better than Mom's message; anything was better than her message, even three little words from James.

What were you expecting from him? A speech about how amazing kissing you was?

I grinned widely.

Honestly.....Yeah!

I laughed at myself.

Get over yourself, I commanded myself as I checked his second message from ten minutes ago.

Tiger: Yo, what you doing later?

What? I reread the message. Was he sort of asking me out?

I texted him back

Annabelle: Nothing

A few minutes passed and he still hadn't texted back. I was beginning to feel anxious.

Maybe he's just not around his phone right now?

My phone beeped.

Yes!

Tiger: Really? How about right now?

Annabelle: I'm chilling at the park near my house.

Tiger: Hang tight!

Hang tight?

Was he coming to me?

How?

He didn't even know what park I was in...

A car honked loudly.

I jumped off the bench, startled. I frantically scanned the area for the perpetrator. That's when I noticed a big, black SUV pull up to the curb in front of the park.

James? I thought as I grabbed my backpack from the bench.

I walked hesitantly towards the car, unsure if it was actually him. The passenger window rolled down and I could see a male sitting behind the wheel wearing a baseball shirt, his eyes were covered with black Ray-Bans. He turned to the window and smiled big. I wondered if it was for me. I briefly glanced behind me, there was no one else here.

It's for me!

"James?" I called.

Honk! Honk!

I smiled. It was definitely him. I approached the passenger door and bent into the open window.

"Hey," I said softly, resting my elbows on the frame. The smile on his face evaporated and he looked away.

"Get in," he ordered.

What's his problem now?

I hesitated, not sure if I wanted to spend time with Douchebag James, I'd much rather Sweet James.

I thought about all the other things I could do besides being chauffeured around by him.

It was a short – empty – list.

I shrugged off his attitude, wiped the smile off my own face, and got in the car. As soon as I'd shut the door, he turned the wheel and pressed the gas, speeding away from the park.

I turned in my seat and stared at him. "Is everything okay?" I asked quietly as I put my seatbelt on.

We rode in silence for a few seconds, before he answered curtly, "Yeah, there's something wrong."

Asshole!

Keeping my thoughts to myself, I decided to continue speaking calmly with him. I was still riding too much of a high from our passionate kissing last night, despite the huge fight with my family this morning, to blow a fuse at his asshole-like manners.

But if it continued much longer, then things would return to normal between us: Nice Annabelle would scram and Bitchy Annabelle would be back with a vengeance.

She was waiting patiently in the corner of my brain; all he had to do was push me a little further and I'd call her out.

"Okay, what is it?" I asked calmly.

He took his eyes off the road and looked at me, shaking his head.

"Where's my hello kiss?" he whined.

Jesus!

"Your hello kiss?" I repeated, a little bewildered by his demanding behavior.

"From now on, whenever you see me, you give me a kiss," he ordered sternly, returning his eyes to the road.

I think I'll do whatever the hell I want.

I didn't say that either, I was still riding that high and he'd earned extra points for looking cute in his baseball uniform.

"And if I don't?" I challenged.

He glanced at me for a second before swinging the wheel around and pulling the car to the curb and slamming it into park. He unlocked his seatbelt and turned to me.

"Why'd you pull over?" I asked. Things had somehow just turned awkward.

He didn't say anything but continued to stare at me, his mouth on the verge of pouting.

"You know, you're lucky –" I began.

"I'm lucky –" he interrupted.

"Yeah, you're lucky you look cute in your baseball uniform or else I'd have served you something nice and cold much earlier." I crossed my arms across my chest as I finished.

Did I just call him cute?

I knew I was turning red.

He was staring straight at the windshield, his expression hidden behind his Ray-Bans. He slowly turned back to me, his mouth forming a wide, shit-eating grin.

"So, you think I look good today," James began with a chuckle, "well maybe if you're good I'll wear my uniform more."

"Oh God," I muttered under my breath, my eyes finding the floor.

"Oh come on, don't be shy now, not with what we did last night." He chuckled louder.

"Jesus, you really are full of yourself." I exclaimed.

"You're damn right I am. I'm also considerate too, don't you forget that." He grinned.

I looked up at him, shaking my head in astonishment. "How are you considerate?"

"Well, for one, I might consider wearing this uniform more often." he said.

"How is that considerate?" I asked.

He was really starting to irritate me.

"Well, I have to do whatever I can to help you fantasize about me when I'm not around," he responded, as if his answer was completely logical.

I gasped. "You're unbelievable."

I reached down and grabbed my backpack off the floor.

"What do you think you're doing?" James demanded, beginning to sound angry.

Before I could pull the door handle, he power-locked the doors from his side.

"Open the door," I demanded quietly. I had no energy left to fight; my family took it all this morning.

"No!"

"Don't yell at me! Open the door, please."

"No." He put the car in drive and sped away from the curb.

"James, I don't have the energy for this. Please, just let me out," I pleaded with him, dropping my backpack back down to the floor.

"No," he said again, continuing to stare straight ahead. "Why don't you have energy? We've only just started arguing."

"You wouldn't understand." I stared out the window, trying to figure out where he was taking me.

"Try me?"

"It's nothing," I replied, "my family was just giving me a hard time this morning."

"That's it? That's why you're in a shit mood?" He shook his head in disbelief.

"No, that's not just it," I snapped.

"I'm just noticing things... It doesn't take much for you to get mad."

"Well then how about this," I began loudly, leaning towards him. "I wake up to my mother shouting her demands, then, when I refuse, my little sister and little brother join her in tag-teaming me about how lame I am! Oh, then my dad joins in and decides he needs to tell me I was the rude, inconsiderate one!"

I turned away, letting out a deep breath. "Is that good enough for you?" I said to the window.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, sweetly.

I felt the emotions I thought I'd left back at the house begin to surface. My eyes felt prickly.

I shook my head, not wanting to go there, blinking away the potential tears.

"Whatever, it's no big deal," I shrugged. "I just want to forget about it."

"I can help you forget, if you want..." James said, staring straight ahead.

"Oh yeah?" I asked skeptically, staring at his hands on the steering wheel. "How are you going to that?"

"Just trust me." he said.

Trust him?

I stared out the window, watching everything swish by as we drove to God knows where.

Chapter 9

ANNABELLE

Warm skin caressed my neck as I lay on my side.

I felt a strange buzz slide along my body from head to toe as his arms encircled my waist. He leaned into my neck even more, pressing his lips beneath my ear.

His tongue slipped out and licked my skin as he continued to kiss, savoring every inch of that tender spot. My eyelids closed as my head leaned back, embracing the mind altering ecstasy of his touch, a touch that my body welcomed eagerly – desperately.

My God! A hum reverberated deep within me as I felt an amazing sensation crawl over every inch of my skin.

Some parts more than others.

Jesus, what am I doing?

His kisses were creating a trail from my ear to the base of my neck. My eyes popped open and I tilted my head to the side to allow him easier access around my neck. Heat steamed between us as he shifted to allow me to move my arms around his waist.

Trust him?

I grinned, remembering what he'd said back in the car. If only I knew what he was thinking, would I have willingly gone along with him?

I ignored the question.

It didn't matter anymore, the decision was already made and my body, mind, and soul were experiencing the highlights of that decision.

I needed this, the touch of someone who cared for me enough to want me to feel like this.

Lately, the world hadn't been interested in what makes me happy. Mom and Dad, Charles and Katherine were only interested in their own happiness, despite how it made me feel.

I remembered walking out this morning, finally having had enough of their selfishness, of their willingness to do whatever they wanted when it came to their bright ideas.

It felt good – too good – to finally allow myself to embrace what being selfish was all about.

Here I was, lying on James's bed, in his room, all alone, while his parents were away with his half-brother and half-sister.

When he'd pulled into the driveway of his house and turned the car off, he'd informed me that his entire family was out doing their version of summer fun. Meaning they wouldn't be back until nightfall.

Oh shit! I'd worried at the thought of being alone with James in his house. What were his expectations, did he want to do more than kiss? And what were we exactly? I knew one thing: I wasn't going to act like some booty call for him.

You're a virgin; you're a long way from a booty call! I'd reminded myself and laughed. I convinced myself to go in anyways and if I got to a point where I was uncomfortable, I'd simply kick him in the balls and leave.

Done!

I laughed, remembering what I'd planned to do to him in case he crossed any imaginary line. At the same time I realized how close my knees actually were to his balls. Very close.

"What's so funny?" James murmured into my skin, not bothering to stop his task of tasting my neck.

I tightened my arms around his waist, pulling further into his hold.

"It's nothing," I muttered as I pulled myself up to his neck and kissed along his jaw line.

He moaned softly as I rolled my tongue across his skin, I could feel his body shiver in response.

"You like that?" I did my best to sound seductive. I had no idea what I was doing or whether I was doing it right, all I knew was my body approved whole-heartedly with these things I was doing to him.

James leaned his head back and I moaned disapprovingly at his lips leaving my skin. He pressed his body into mine and I fell back on to the bed while he hovered above me. I stared into his eyes as his hand trailed across my waist to my arm, finally resting at my chin and tilting it back.

He leaned in, his beautiful green eyes never left mine as our lips touched. His hand left my chin and rested alongside my bust, only an inch separated him from exploring regions of my body no one had ever experienced. Ever!

I began the feel the heat of my anxiety as his hand itched to be closer to my boobs.

What the hell does he want to do with my boobs? I touch them all the time; they just feel like squishy balls...but not like water balls...more like jello balls.

I felt the weight of his body sink further into my body; he began kissing open-mouthed, his tongue playing with mine without worrying about whether it was invited to. My head was pushed into his pillow – he was kissing me like a man who'd just gotten out of jail and hadn't seen a woman in years. He was hungry for whatever I was willing to give him – hungrier, taking whatever he set his sights on.

His hand shifted to the left and, as soon his fingers realized where they'd successfully land, began massaging my jello ball. My eyelids fluttered at the first caress, the first movement of his fingers as they kneaded into my breast.

Even through shirt and bra it felt amazing.

That familiar sensation from earlier increased its buzz around the lower half of my body. As his hand rapidly massaged my breast, I felt a strange heat ride along my belly button, turning into a painful yet pleasurable feeling. I moaned loudly against his devouring lips. James paused to stare down at me, a wild look in his eyes. He breathed deeply, trying to catch his breath. We'd been kissing for close to an hour. He sat back on my hips and pulled his baseball uniform up over his head. I caught the first glimpse of his ripped stomach and the sight of his six-pack sent my body quivering.

I was suddenly conscious of the stickiness of my t-shirt, heated from our prolonged embrace. I stared impatiently at him while he slid the shirt off; it was taking way too long because my body craved his heat and touch desperately. The ten seconds it took was far too long for my body to tolerate being without him on top of me.

"You like what you see, Fireball?" James purred seductively, leaning back into me.

I didn't respond with words, instead I grabbed him around his naked waist for the first time and pulled him towards me with urgency. He pressed his lips back into mine, moving with a pace that rivaled where he'd left off, then surpassing it as the kiss intensified into a necessity to remain alive.

Vital to his survival.

The force made my head tilt further and further into his pillow until there was nowhere else to sink to – the mattress was too strong for me to dent into it.

I realized the area around my breast was vacant, he hadn't returned to massaging it. I searched my body for his hands as my eyes remained closed and my lips were busy matching his intensity. But the fire of his touch wasn't enough to distract me when I felt my t-shirt beginning to slowly rise. Cold air blasted my skin while his fingers lightly caressed it. I let him have that tiny sliver of skin, my stomach was still covered after all. His fingers began crawling up underneath my shirt.

"No," I murmured into his kiss. My arms unlocked from around his shoulders and slid down to where his hands were. I tried to tug them out, no match for his strength, but he stopped moving and pulled back on his own. Once his hands were off my stomach, I pulled my t-shirt back down to cover the little bit of skin that was showing.

"What's wrong?" He was panting and looking confused.

I propped myself up on my elbows and rested my back against his headboard.

It's time to call it quits. I ordered myself.

"Nothing, I just think we're going way too fast."

He slid off me and rolled over onto to his side of the bed, leaning into me, his arm encircling my waist.

"What?" James panted wildly. "We just started."

I glanced down and saw him shamelessly pouting at me.

"Calm down, Tiger," I laughed, shaking my head.

"Back to 'Tiger', huh? If that's what you wanted all this time, then why didn't you say so? I'll show you 'Tiger'," he said cockily, squeezing my waist with his arm to pull me closer to him.

"I'm thirsty," I announced suddenly, angling slightly away from him.

"I'm sorry, what a horrible hostess I am. Would you like a glass of water?" James playfully responded in an exaggerated voice.

"Yes, I'd love a cup of water," I responded, mimicking his mock-politeness.

He jumped up and crawled off the bed. "One cup of water, coming up." He opened the door and sauntered out, not bothering to put his shirt back on. I sat back and watched his half-naked body walk down the hall to the stairs.

Damn, he's cute....

I grinned widely and mentally patted myself on the back. Not too shabby, even if this was just a little bit of fun.

I wasn't putting myself out there.

I knew this was just a bit of fun for him too.

He was too good looking and when school started there would be a bevy of beauties lining up to be his arm-candy. I knew I wasn't ugly, but I was definitely not arm-candy material.

I imagined the two of us walking side by side in school – we just didn't match. I was overweight and average looking while he was tall, muscle-bound, and extremely good-looking. Yes, he acted like a stupid asshole most of the time, but with those physical attributes the hot girls at school wouldn't care how he acted – they'd think anything he did hot.

Just like you do! I scolded myself, realizing I was just as bad. I accepted his faults or, rather, pushed them to the side when it came to experiencing the benefits of being the aim of his current affections. I was a fraud; whatever I stood for instantly took a back seat, and not gracefully either – I practically kicked my instincts and morals to the curb whenever I was around him. Little by little, he cracked whatever shields I had.

"Whatcha thinking about?"

My eyes flicked up and see James standing in his doorframe with my cup of water, staring at me.

I gave him a small smile and shook my head innocently. "I'm not thinking about anything but your cute ass." I ostentatiously gave his body a once-over, grinning from ear to ear.

"Well, that makes sense," He laughed and brought me the cup.

I gulped down half of it then placed it on his side table.

"Thanks," I said as he crawled on the bed beside me.

"No problem, anything you want," he responded sweetly.

He's nice.

I stared straight ahead as the realization hit me: if he kept treating me like this, I'd fall deeper and deeper and when it all came crashing down, what would I do then?

"So, you live here with your dad and step-mom?" I asked, changing the subject.

"That's right," he replied hesitantly.

"How's it going so far?" I continued.

He let out a long breath and waited a few seconds before responding. "It's temporary."

"That's it?"

"What do you want me to say? My mom wanted to go traveling with her new boyfriend, so I got shipped to my dad's and have to spend my senior year at a brand new school. Is that enough for you?" His sweet voice had turned bitter.

"I take it you miss your old school? Bet you were Mr. Popular back there, huh?" I turned to face him and watched as my comment changed his pissed expression into a big grin.

"Of course!" James exclaimed. "I was the man!"

"Bet you had a line of ladies after you," I laughed, nudging his shoulder.

"Oh, the ladies." He pretended to sniff back his tears. "Those poor girls, what are they going to do without me there to look up their skirts?"

I could do nothing but grin and shake my head at him.

"They must have had a funeral for you when you left."

"Yes, they did, actually. I heard it was really sad." He pretended to sniffle more and I couldn't help laughing. He shifted his body closer to mine and wrapped an arm around my waist. I sank into his embrace, comfortable being close to him again. He rested his head on my arm.

"Your turn," he whispered.

"My turn?" My body was distracting me by welcoming back the familiar sensations that his touch triggered.

"Yeah. I ask, you tell." His lips gently caressed my arm.

"Okay," I answered softly.

"What happened this morning?" As he asked, he squeezed his arm around my waist, pulling me closer.

I paused for a few seconds.

I didn't know how much I wanted to share.

I certainly didn't want his pity. But it would be kind of nice to talk about it to someone besides Jenna. I hadn't known James for that long, but from the beginning I'd felt very comfortable with him.

Even though he made me nervous.

I might not have any chance in the real world but, right now, it felt right to just go with it and just see what happens.

You're with him now, that counts for something.

"My mom was just harassing me about my food. It's been like this since the beginning of summer. So this morning I just had enough and cracked. I yelled at her and my dad then left the house not telling them where I was going or when I was coming back," I explained tiredly.

"Was it like you wanted to run away?" James asked sounding like he understood exactly what it felt like to be harassed by parents.

I thought about it for a moment.

When I was packing my bag, grabbing the basic essentials, I had felt a rush of adrenaline pump through me as if the choice I was making was a big one.

One that made a statement.

I had walked out while they were scolding me, just like I had two weeks ago, but this time it was different. I'd had enough of their constant nagging about what I ate and how I looked. This time, I did something to show them that their actions were not okay: I had walked out without giving any information as to what I was going to do, where I was going, or when I was coming back. In a way, I had hoped it would remind them that my days as a teenager who had to listen to them were almost over.

The express train to adulthood was coming straight for me and, whether they liked it or not, that feeling of being able to decide what I wanted to do and when I wanted to do it wasn't going to go away. In fact, it was only growing stronger each day. My attitude was definitely heading for a direction where I would finally feel in control.

"Yeah, that's what it felt like. Sort of. But 'runaway' is more of a kid term. I'm going to be eighteen in April and, until then, I'm putting my foot down when it comes to doing things I don't want to do." I felt empowered by my words.

"That's right. Do whatever the hell you want to do," he proclaimed then laughed into my arm.

I laughed a little too but stopped when James began to snuggle deeper into me, his body rubbing against mine.

Well, the deep chat ends here.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked, staring down at his head.

"Enough talking," he murmured.

"Oh yeah, then what are we going to do?" I asked, laughing.

"Oh, I can think of a few things..."

He got up and pushed himself off the bed. He stood at the edge of the bed and grabbed my feet. I stared at him in confusion as he pulled my legs. I slid down the headboard, my head hitting the pillow, and James lowered my legs back onto the bed.

"There you go, that's better," he exclaimed, climbing back over the bed to hover on top of me.

I just got manhandled!

I grinned as he pushed aside a strand of hair from my face.

"Much better," he said softly as his fingers caressed my cheeks.

We gazed into each other eyes. My stomach began feeling soft and squishy. A warm, gooey hug squeezed my heart, sending waves of brand new feelings through my body.

Shit!

I think I'm going crazy!

Before I could say anything to stop the madness, he leaned in and planted his lips back on mine.

Oh!

Okay!

I was taken aback by the sensation his lips shot into my body. My body rejoiced happily at the return of his touch, as if it had been drowning and his lips were the life raft.

God!

I returned his kiss, moving my arms around his shoulders as his body sunk further into me.

*~*~*

I took out my phone and texted Mom:

Annabelle: I had a nutritious lunch

A few minutes later...

Mom: Thank You!!!!

I closed the message and tucked my phone back into my backpack. I had just left James's house after an hour and a half of kissing and fondling.

I'd let him touch my boobs again, which made him think it was okay to pull my shirt back up but I'd stopped him immediately, telling him that I wasn't comfortable with that part, that it was too soon. Although I had no problem with him being shirtless; his body was perfect, beautiful, and muscles galore. My hands began buzzing with sensation at the memory of the circles they had made over every inch of his naked chest.

That was nice... I remembered each muscle my hand had grazed.

Unlike him, my body, especially my stomach, was nowhere near naked-ready. Even a small sliver of skin exposed made me nervous at what he would think or feel when his hand met the roundness of my skin.

But now that I had time to think about it, if I was a bit skinnier and my stomach was flatter, would I have let him lift up my shirt? Would I have let him pull the entire thing off? Would I have gone the whole way with him? I'd practically groped his entire body and let him do the same, and he wasn't even my boyfriend nor was my body even close perfect.

Would I be more of a slut if I were skinny?

The thought horrified me.

Damn!

I would...I think I would have...probably...gone all the way...

I hugged myself, shocked at my own admission. It felt good, really good, kissing him. I didn't mind when his hand kept caressing my breasts. I had to control myself; my emotions were all over the place. With what happened this morning, then meeting James and ending up in his bed having a marathon kissing session, I'd better re-evaluate my decisions next time my mind was not in the right place.

The events that took place this morning had left me emotionally damaged, so much so that my brain had lost all logic. That was how I so easily let James take me to his bed and kiss the hell out of me while copping many feels.

It did feel nice though...No! I shook my head. I had to snap out of this 'feels nice' thing. If things kept going at this pace with him, what would happen next time?

Because I was sure there was going to be a next time.

He definitely would want something more in our next meet up; he had taken his shirt off, lay across my body, and held on to me as if he wanted his body imprinted onto mine.

He probably expected the next time to be my turn to be au natural on top – with or without a bra, whatever floated my boat, as long as there was some major skin showing. In my case it was a lot of easily jiggle-able skin that needed the help and support of a structured shirt to keep it pushed back.

Oh my God, am I ever going to have a flat stomach? I wish I did! I tormented myself for a few seconds but stopped when I realized what might potentially happen when I became more confident with how my body looked.

I'd become a big slut, sleeping with anything that would have me!

I shook my head at the exaggeration.

No! Not everything that would have me, but probably – definitely – give James the green light to do his thing!

My phone beeped.

I paused on the sidewalk to grab my phone.

New Message from: Tiger!

James! I was instantly excited at the sight of his name, even though I'd only left him twenty minutes ago.

I opened his message with a huge smile plastered across my face.

You are sucked in! Totally in deep! I thought as his message popped up.

Tiger: I wish u let me take u home...

Annabelle: And I wish u wouldn't text while driving to baseball practice!

James's phone had rung while we were kissing. By that time, things had cooled off a little but were still going at a nice pace. He grudgingly got off me and checked the caller ID before answering.

"Yeah?" he answered curtly.

I heard a muffled voice from the other end.

"Oh, yeah, shit. Okay. See you in ten," he said to the phone then hung up.

I rose up on my elbows and stared at him as he put his phone back on his side table.

"What happened?" I asked.

He let out a long sigh and turned to me. "Baseball practice was rescheduled for noon."

"I thought it was canceled?"

"It was. Sort of. The assistant coach told everyone to be available around noon just in case it was rescheduled," he explained, giving me a quick peck on the lips before grabbing his uniform shirt off the floor and pulling it back on.

"Okay," I replied, getting off the bed.

Damn! I thought, disappointed, as his beautiful body was sheathed again.

"I'll drop you off at home," he said as I reached to pick my backpack off the ground.

"No, that's okay, I want to walk. Get some fresh air, you know." I slid my bag over my shoulders as I explained.

I stretched my arms out and took a deep breath while he locked the front door. It felt like I'd been cooped up inside a musty, sweaty cave for God knows how long, but my phone said we'd been up there for less than two hours.

My phone beeped.

I checked the new message as I continued down the sidewalk.

Tiger: Baby u care about my safety, I'm touched. Miss u, can't wait to see u again!

He misses me!! I gushed mentally.

My heart swelled with joy.

He missed me and couldn't wait to see me again.

With an exclamation point!

What did that mean?

Did that mean next time would be even more exciting than the first time?

Shit! His expectations of where we were going had jumped big time! I knew one thing for sure: as long as I was still in this body, with all its jiggly bits, there was no way anything was escalating, including his excitement.

Even if he missed me and couldn't wait to see me.

New high! I thought happily, planning to remember his words the next time he decided to piss me off by acting like the asshole version of himself.

Annabelle: That's sweet. Have a good practice

I pressed send and tucked my phone back into my bag. I didn't want to see any more messages from him today.

It was enough. My body and mind couldn't take anymore of him.

Okay, I was lying, my body wouldn't mind taking a little more of him but that wasn't the point. I needed to maintain some ground control when it came to him. I had to show him – and myself – that there were limits where he was concerned.

Even if I really, really didn't want to.

*~*~*

I walked to Subway and grabbed a 6-inch whole-wheat turkey sub, no sauce, and heavy on the lettuce.

This is healthy, I told myself as I bit into my sandwich.

It was around 1:30 pm when I went back home. Not because I wanted to, but because I had nothing to do and I didn't want to spend any more money. I had to save every penny for when I could finally move out.

I unlocked the front door and walked inside. As I pulled off my shoes, I heard the familiar sound of excited footsteps rumble up the basement stairs.

"Annabelle? You're home?" Mom called as she ran up the stairs.

"Yes," I answered brusquely. I was still pissed at her for the stunt she pulled this morning and had no intention of letting her off easy.

"How was your morning?" she asked breathlessly as she walked over to me.

"It was fine," I replied suspiciously.

"That's good." She was trying her best to be nonchalant. I wasn't buying it. Her hands were shaking subtly next to her thigh.

"Alright, well I'm going to my room," I announced as I took a step towards the stairs.

"Wait!" Mom blurted out.

I turned to face her. "Yes?"

"I understand that this morning I may have gone a little too far with the scale thing," she conceded. "From now on your weigh-in time is yours, privately. Indefinitely." She actually looked a little sorry.

"Thank you." I took another step towards the stairs.

"Wait!"

I turned around again. "What is it now, Mom? Is there something you want?" I asked, beginning to feel a bit irritated. I really wanted to go upstairs, change into my home clothes, relax on my own bed, and imagine new scenes on my ceiling.

"Do your old mom a favor and tell her what you ate for lunch? Pretty please?"

I let out a long breath and answered as calmly as I could. "I had Subway. A 6-inch whole-wheat turkey sub. No sauce. Lots of lettuce."

She nodded happily, clapping her hands. "Excellent choice, I'm so proud of you!"

"Anything else you'd like to know before I go upstairs?" I asked hesitantly.

"Actually, yes." Mom looked at me warily, like I was a wild animal about to escape. "How many calories have you burned 'til now?" she asked cautiously.

I felt a small touch of anger stir in my throat, itching to yell at her, to give her a piece of my mind about this stupid daily calorie burn I was forced to complete or else feel the wrath of her disappointment. I was practically an adult and did not need to prove myself by how many calories I could burn a day. But my comfortable and very private room was within my grasp; all I had to do to get there was answer this one question. I glanced down at my calorie-burn watch and grinned widely.

"Six hundred and fifty calories," I told her, trying not to burst out laughing.

Her mouth dropped in astonishment. I had never burned that many calories this fast. She leaned forward and grabbed my arm, checking my watch for herself.

"Six hundred and fifty calories... wow. Good for you, Annabelle. How'd you do it?" She was eager to know how so I could repeat it every day.

I headed for the stairs as I told her how. "Just spent the day experiencing the neighborhood. Every inch of it." I ran up the stairs and into my room before she could question me further.

That's if the neighborhood was James!

I shamelessly burst out laughing. I shook my head at myself and changed my clothes. I left my phone in my bag even though I was heavily tempted to check if James had sent me anything. But I didn't touch my bag. Instead I turned on my radio, settling on a popular channel playing R&B.

I lay down on my bed and folded my arms behind my head, gazed up at the ceiling and flew to another world as the music filled the room.

*~*~*

I was on my bed, about to go to sleep.

It was almost midnight.

I'd stayed in my room checking my Facebook account and email, and doing some searches of diet and fat girl blogs.

Those were interesting.

I finally emerged when I was called for dinner. I entered the dining room on edge about how everything was going to turn out considering the last time all of us were together I had screamed at everyone for being unfair.

Charles and Katherine were sitting side by side. I sat across from them without saying a word. Dad came marching up the stairs, saying hello to everyone as if this morning hadn't happened.

Denial. They're all in total denial.

I stared at each of them in turn, watching them go about their business as usual. I couldn't believe it. I'd practically called out my brother and sister this morning for not treating me right and they were acting like all was well in the world.

All was definitely not well.

I was still deeply offended by their treatment. I was their older sister, someone they were supposed to respect and look up to, yet it'd been anything but that for the last couple of years.

I blamed one person for this.

Okay, maybe two people.

Firstly, Mom, for pushing the image of me as a failure down their throats every chance she could. Even if, in her twisted brain, she meant well.

Secondly, myself.

I understood that to gain respect you had to earn it; what had I done to show my younger siblings that I was someone they could look up to? All I'd been doing these last couple of years was taking Mom's below-the-belt hits about my image. I'd done nothing to show them that I was a strong person regardless of Mom's opinion. I'd only showed them how good at self-pitying I was.

Things needed to change. I needed a new game plan. But that was easier said than done. It would take time for me to one draw up. So I stayed silent during dinner, serving a reasonable amount of food on to my plate – salad, rice, and chicken – eating it as I listened to the conversation going on around me.

Today had been one of the strangest days I'd ever experienced. I had gone from low to high and now I didn't know what I was...medium?

The high I felt coming home from James's house didn't waiver in the slightest. Even though I wasn't with him now, I knew my phone might be filled with missed messages from him asking where I was and what I was doing. Earlier today I'd decided that I wouldn't check my phone for the rest of the day. All I had to do was wait until midnight to follow through with the promise I'd made myself. I knew once I could check my phone, I'd savor each missed message, reading it multiple times and allowing that happy bubble inside of me to grow to a size my body, mind, and soul had yet to experience.

I stared at my alarm clock for the last ten minutes, watching each minute pass slowly. The day was almost over and my hand was itching to grab my phone from my bag to see if he'd sent me anything. I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling, trying to distract myself from the clock as each minute seemed to pass slower than the last. I was beginning to feel irritated.

Calm down, I told myself. I needed to relax. If I continued to stay excited like this, even after I'd turned in, I wouldn't be able to fall asleep. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, slowly releasing it. I repeated this process several times. Finally giving in to my impatience, I turned to my right and checked the time. 12:02 a.m.

"Yes," I whispered victoriously as I got off the bed and reached for my backpack. I pulled out my phone and tapped it on. I stared down at the empty screen in shock.

No messages!

It felt as if someone kicked me in the stomach.

I tapped on my inbox to see if I'd missed any accidentally. Sometimes the phone didn't recognize a new message. My last message was the one James had sent while I was walking home. I slouched back onto my bed, extremely disappointed.

What happened?

Chapter 10

ANNABELLE

Friday September 7, 2012

There should have been a disclaimer flashing high above his head when I first met him, then maybe I wouldn't have gotten myself into such a state.

Attention unassuming females!

Attention unassuming females!

Beware!

Assholes disguised as cute guys that have no problems with the word 'No'! That is, until you leave the scene of the crime and then they never call you again.

Beware!

I blinked a few times from shock.

How the hell did I make it to the kitchen? The last thing I remembered, I was on my bed gazing up at the ceiling, trying to imagine a new scene that would make me feel better. I'd come up with nothing.

All of a sudden I was in the kitchen with my back to school clothes on.

"That's a nice shirt you're wearing, Annabelle. Green really suits you, especially forest green," Mom complimented as she sipped her morning coffee.

Green! I felt that familiar ache resurface in the pit of my stomach. The one that had been getting worse as each day of the past two weeks went by. It was the result of one thing: my phone and no new messages from anyone except Jenna.

There was nothing from him.

I felt like a live-action teen magazine article about pressure and how not to handle certain situations.

It was Friday. Two weeks had gone by and there was still nothing from him. As if our morning together never happened.

Was it because I didn't want to take off my shirt? I pondered for the hundredth time. I shook my head, that didn't make sense.

Or did it? Was I just too stupid to read the universal signs of the average teenage guy?

Even if he was upset, he really shouldn't have been. We hadn't even known each other for that long and it wasn't as if I was going to have sex with him so early on in our (none)relationship.

He hadn't claimed me as his girlfriend and what kind of girl would have sex with a guy who wasn't her boyfriend?

Not me.

Douchebag!

Asshole definitely trumped cute. Every point he'd earned from before was null and void. There were no more chances for him. If I saw him at school, I was going to ignore him.

Bye, bye James!

"Although, Annabelle," Mom hesitated, "the shirt is nice but don't you think it's a little snug in the...you know...belly area."

That's good, she's treading carefully because she's scared I'll snap again! I smiled, realizing my little stunt two weeks ago might have given Mom that attitude adjustment she needed.

"It feels fine to me, Mom." I pulled my shirt down past my waist, it had scrunched up a little when I had sat down but I hadn't realized it because I was so out of it this morning. I didn't even remember walking in here.

"Alright, darling, no problem. Be comfortable the way you are," she said as I took my final mouthful of the organic cereal she'd poured for me. I didn't remember her pouring the cereal either. I wouldn't have let her pour this for me had I been awake enough to protest.

Be comfortable the way I am? What the hell did that mean? Confused, I got up from the table and put my empty bowl in the sink.

"I'm off," I announced to everyone. Yes, everyone. Apparently I'd been so out of it up until five minutes ago that I didn't even realize the whole family had descended on the breakfast table.

I glanced at Charles and Katherine taking the final spoonfuls of their respective bowls. Charles munched on Cheerios while Katherine enjoyed her Cornflakes; both got to have a tiny bit of honey on it too – dancers and soccer players burned a lot of calories, so Mom had no problem with them having honey even though she'd gone crazy this summer about everything that went into my mouth. Damn it, I wanted honey too. It would have certainly helped with whatever it was I'd had for breakfast. It looked like a hundred small twigs swimming in milk. Not only did it not look appetizing, it didn't taste like anything. Even the milk tasted watered down.

Did she mix water with skim milk for me? I contemplated, horrified. No!

I shook it off and tried to focus on something else.

I wonder...if she knew that I made out with James, would she have asked me how many calories his saliva was? I grinned as I walked towards the front door.

Disgusting, I thought as I recalled the word 'saliva.'

Did I really mix my own saliva with his?

I grabbed my shoes and sat down on the last step.

"Annabelle, wait for a moment, please!" Mom shouted from the kitchen as I put on my black Converse. I tucked my black skinny jeans over the top of my shoes, covering the looped laces and got up off the stairs. I swung my backpack over my shoulder and waited by the front door to see what she wanted now.

Mom came out of the kitchen with a brown paper bag in her hand. I stared at the bag in horror.

"I made lunch for you," she exclaimed, happily waving the bag back and forth.

I shook my head.

"No way, Mom. I'm not taking a paper bag lunch to school," I sternly told her.

"Why not?" she asked, flustered. "The food in this bag is calorie-controlled."

"Why? Because I'm a senior now. I'll look like an idiot walking into the cafeteria with a paper bag lunch while everyone else is buying their lunch."

She didn't say anything for a moment, looking conflicted. This was it; this was what she'd been going on about all summer. Senior year. The diet, the daily calorie burn, the exercise, the food monitoring. It was all for senior year and how I'd look to my peers.

"Can you assure me that you'll buy salad or something low calorie?" Her tone was dead-serious.

"I can assure you I won't buy anything fattening."

"That's not good enough," Mom said shortly. "I need to know if I can count on you to be responsible with your lunch selections from now on."

Jesus! What does she want from me, to sign a contract in blood that I won't buy cheesy fries and hamburgers?

I began to feel anxious; her tone was putting me off. I was an adult, if I wanted to eat something I should be able to eat it without having to explain it to anybody.

"I won't buy any hamburgers or fries or hot dogs. If I see a salad, I'll choose that. If I see low calorie wraps, I'll choose that." I did my best to not sound irritated, but even I could detect it in my tone. Hopefully, she didn't notice. I wasn't in the mood for a fight; I just wanted to get to school before I was late.

Walking in late on the first day in front of everyone? No, thank you!

"Good enough?" I asked calmly, my hands itching to open the door.

She remained silent for a few seconds, her face busily contemplating what I'd said.

"Yes, I'm satisfied with that." She smiled as her shoulders relaxed. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'm going now. Bye."

"Have a great first day. Senior year, Annabelle!"

Like I needed the reminder as I walked out. "Yes, Mom, I know."

What the hell was that? I thought as I took in the morning air.

*~*~*

"Girl, where have you been?" Jenna shouted from the bottom of the stairs at the front of the school. I did a little jog towards her.

"Sorry, had a paper bag lunch scare this morning," I explained in faux horror.

She laughed and leaned against one of the cement pillars. "Well, I assume the crisis was averted then?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I put my foot down."

"Good. Anyways – you look good today, great color," Jenna complimented.

"Thanks. But do you notice anything else that looks... great?" I asked, playfully shimmying.

Jenna pretended to think for a moment, scanning my body from head to toe. "Well, if I'm being honest, those ten pounds you lost – your body's showing the loss."

"Really?" I exclaimed.

"Dude, I'm your best friend! I wouldn't lie about how you look – I'm always going to be a hundred percent honest. It's the only way."

"Okay, okay. Tell me, what are the biggest differences you notice?"

"Definitely a loss in the chin area, you don't have a double chin anymore."

"I had a double chin?" I hid my chin with my hands, horrified.

"Only a little one –"

"Why didn't you tell me?" I interrupted.

"Because it didn't matter. It was barely noticeable," Jenna shrugged. "I mean, you'd have to be up really close to notice anything."

"Okay... but it's gone now, right?"

"Yes, for the second time, you don't have a double chin anymore – Gone!"

"Good," I smiled. "What else?"

Jenna shook her head at me before grinning in a way that made me worry.

"Well. If you really want to know, the first thing I noticed was your boobs look nicely curved now that your neck is more defined." She burst out laughing and I grabbed her shoulder with one hand and covered her mouth with the other.

"Be quiet! At school – You're talking about my boobs at school! On the first day!" I hissed in her ear.

She couldn't contain her laughter and soon I was laughing too, at what a crazy friend I had. We linked arms and climbed the stairs.

"So tell me, what's up? What's the work situation?" Jenna asked.

"I'm just doing Saturdays now."

"Anything else going on? Anything you want to share?"

I hesitated. I hadn't told her about James yet. My palms grew sweaty at the thought of spilling my guts about my super brief time in paradise. In a perfect world I would have told her everything, but it wasn't a perfect world and she wouldn't be as understanding about the entire situation as my psyche needed. I'd told myself countless times that it was all good, that things like that happened all the time. I was blown off, hitched and ditched, left high and dry.

"Nah, my life is the same: boring." I lied. It wasn't boring; it was torture.

"Damn girl! We need to get you a boyfriend."

"Hahaha, very funny – now stop joking."

"We'll see," she sung loudly.

There was promise in her voice. Her go-to phrase almost always guaranteed that she'd do what she wanted, even if I didn't approve.

We stepped up onto the final stair, the front doors were hidden behind a mob of students hanging out on the terrace, trying desperately to hold on to the last moments of summer vacation before making that painful first step inside the school. Jenna led the way, zigzagging around everyone. I grabbed onto her backpack and let her do all the work.

We made it through the doors and I let go of her backpack. I turned down the hallway my homeroom was in; unfortunately, Jenna's homeroom was in a different hallway, very far from mine.

"See you at lunch," I shouted to her.

"Later," She called back.

I found my locker, opened it, and checked inside. I breathed a sigh of relief. It was clean and not that badly damaged. Behind me the hallway was filling up quickly judging by the number of yells and screams I could hear. I took out a small magnetic mirror from my backpack and placed it on the inside of my door.

New Year.

New rules.

With a mirror now in my locker, I was going to check my appearance regularly. This year could be my year, maybe I'd finally find someone that didn't want to just make out with me then disappear without a text or a call. I checked my pale skin for any imperfections – no blemishes, check. I checked my brown eyes – alive and well, mascara sitting on my eyelashes nicely, check and check.

Here's hoping!

I took out my spare umbrella, placing it in the bottom of the locker. This was Florida, spare umbrellas were imperative if you wanted any hope of getting home dry in a spontaneous storm.

I feel a weird tingle in my legs.

I heard a laugh behind me, in fact, I heard a lot of laughs, a whole group of them. One laugh stood out. I'd heard it before. My legs knew it before my mind realized it and now they were frozen.

The realization crashed into me and I felt a tightness grow in my throat. The laugh grew louder, then all their laughs grew in volume, ostentatiously taking over the hallway like they were so important that every student here needed to know they were here. The sad part it was, without looking, I knew who they were. The loudest laugh belonged to a familiar voice, a familiar mouth – which had been hungrily plastered on mine just weeks ago.

Just breathe, I ordered myself, the air in my throat beginning to feel hoarse and ragged. I was about to come face to face with the splitter, the dasher, the runner.

What do I do? How do I act? Should I walk past him and ignore him like he ignored me?

I shook my head, no way. Well, I definitely wasn't going to speak with him, let alone attack him if he was in a group of bros, laughing it up like they were the Kings of the Hallway.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to calm myself down before I turned and lock eyes with a guy I hoped to God I could hate from now on.

Please, God?

Let me hate him, let me walk past him, ignore him, pretend he doesn't exist – even if he looks really cute today, even if he wears that baseball uniform top. I prayed as I exhaled a long, slow breath, trying to push out some of the anxiety with it.

Asshole trumps cute! Asshole trumps cute! Asshole trumps cute! I mentally chanted as I slammed my locker shut. I stared at the front of my locker, I wished it was because I was captivated by the dark olive green color but, in truth, I was hesitating.

Come on, you can do this. Remember: asshole trumps cute, especially fake-ass assholes that don't call!

I nodded subtly, if I could just keep reminding myself of these things everything was going to be just fine. In fact, Bitchy Annabelle was likely to make a full recovery and return with a vengeance.

Watch out, James!

Now, turn around and face the fool that dared to play you.

My legs didn't move.

Oh shit – I can't do this!

I shook the horrible thought away.

I adjusted my backpack, one-shouldering it. With a pasted on chill, 'I can't be bothered, I don't know you, or you, or you' expression, I turned around.

Why couldn't I have homeroom in the opposite direction as them? My heart tripled its beats per second. I was just going to have to do the best I could, even if it was forced.

My homeroom was in room 205. Hundreds of students crowded the hallway, filling it. I shuffled around a few before I made it to the middle of the hall where people could walk without having to stop.

Excitement filled the air, I could feel it. Everyone seemed to be on the last of the summer high. I wished I had a little bit of my summer high to float on – oh wait, didn't somebody cruelly crush my high two weeks ago when he didn't bother to communicate with me after sharing one of the biggest moments of my life?

I passed room 204, wishing it was my homeroom instead; I wanted out of this hallway. A long row of lockers was all that separated me from the Kings of the Hallway. Their laughter hadn't subsided. It was still going as I got closer to the room where I could hide and return my heart rate to normal. I stared ahead but down, I didn't want to risk making eye contact. I was scared of what I might feel, what might happen. So I stared just a few meters in front to the side, focused and determined. The penalty for breaching my field of vision – the only protection my sanity had – would be detrimental; I might faint or have a heart attack.

This is too much pressure! Jesus! How come there's no manual on how to act around douchebags?

I was only a few strides away from my homeroom; I felt instant joy as I spotted the numbers 205 on the door. I could hear the group's laughter grow the closer I got to the door. I didn't look up, I didn't want to. Even if I was a little curious, it just wasn't worth it.

I wished I could have stuck with my original plan. I heard the sounds of female giggling; it mixed with the laughter of the group. One of those female giggles burned my soul because it intermingled with the laughter I was most familiar with.

His voice.

I was a sucker for pain – what could I say. I looked up.

For a second or two I was bombarded by a circle of baseball caps worn backwards, sideways, and forwards. The Kings of the Hallway stood in a circle, scrunched together because of the growing crowds of students that pushed past them through the hallway. Mixed in with the bros were a few lucky ladies, their queens – or girls who expected to be their queens soon enough because they were hot. It was only five seconds before my hand would hit the doorknob that opened room 205 – my safe haven, a place free of ostentatious laughter that made every inch of my body uncomfortable.

Five seconds was too long! It should have been a maximum of two!

I blocked the faces of every single guy in the circle – a trick I'd perfected over the past few years – instead focusing solely on one person, and she was standing right next to a tall guy with nice muscles, his body leaned down a little as she whispered into his ear, making him laugh a little harder.

I recognized the voice as it cut deeply. My hand, thankfully, had reached the doorknob. I noticed that the voice stopped laughing and his body went still, the female, however, continued to whisper into his ear.

Damn you, Donna!

I turned the knob and walked into the room, closing the door behind me. I let out a sigh of relief as I enter the empty room – silence was golden.

I could breathe again!

I glanced at the chalkboard and read the message my homeroom teacher had written:

Mr. Doors

Welcome seniors

AP English, room 205

The room was completely empty, but I wasn't the first one in here. Mr. Doors' briefcase was laid out on his desk.

Probably getting a last minute coffee before school officially begins – oh the horror!

I chuckled to myself, thinking about my teacher stressing about the first day of school much more than his students were.

*~*~*

I chose a seat in the back row, next to the window. The bell rang and the classroom door was flung open. A trail of students stampeded in, obliterating the calm serenity I'd been enjoying.

Nothing good ever lasts, I reminded myself as the seats were filling up.

I glanced at the doorway and a small chuckle escaped me when I saw Mr. Doors walk in with a cup of coffee in his hands, looking relieved to now have his lifeline safely tucked in his hands.

Mr. Doors was in his mid-forties and had salt and pepper hair. He was really tall; it only took him two strides to cross the room to his desk where he put down his coffee.

"Hello everyone, welcome," he said in a loud voice as he shuffled some papers around his desk. We had another minute before the final bell would ring and class could start.

I scanned the room, which was almost packed except for one chair beside me and two in the middle. I stared at the entire front row in shock. It was full.

Why the hell would anyone want to sit up front? I thought, confused. I glanced at Mr. Doors.

Maybe he's a good teacher. This was my first time with him as a teacher. I hoped he was not a loony like some of the other teachers this school had on the payroll.

Hot weather will do that to you – make you go crazy!

I began to laugh as I stared out the window. The final bell rang just as some last minute student walked through the door.

"Just made it," I heard Mr. Doors say in a sing-song voice.

"Yeah!" A familiar voice rejoiced breathlessly.

Familiar voice! I glanced up, horrified at what I was about to witness. Everything was in slow motion. My eyes started from the feet, slowing scanning upwards over his black jeans, then to his tight blue t-shirt that showcased his body perfectly, then slowly and most horrifyingly my eyes lifted to his face and I took in his features one by one. The wind was knocked out of me like it was the first time I was seeing his green eyes and his sexy mouth.

Damn it, Annabelle! Not sexy – stupid! I scolded myself. I couldn't let myself fall back to the zombie I'd been for the last two weeks. I hadn't even been in a relationship with him and he affected me like this.

I wasn't made to handle things like this!

I took a deep breath and looked up at him. He'd paused at the front, staring straight at me with a grim expression plastered across his face. His eyes left mine and looked to my right.

What?

He strode down the rows of desks. I kept thinking he was going to stop at one of the middle desks, but he kept coming, stopping at the desk next to mine.

Oh shit!

I felt my face begin to heat as he sat down next to me. I hadn't been this close to him in two weeks. His scent washed over me, a mixture of cologne and shampoo. It drove me wild; I had to turn my head and stare out the window to catch my breath and compose myself.

Cool it – act cool – just relax!

I took a series of deep breaths before facing Mr. Doors, who had begun teaching. Everything was going to be okay, all I had to do was ignore the asshole to my right.

That's all I have to do – yeah right! I think an exam on Chinese literature would be an easier task than that!

I opened my notebook and wrote down the course code at the top of the page. I positioned my head so I couldn't see him, just the front and anything on my left. I felt him shift in his seat, his eyes staring into my side.

It's only an hour – Only one hour, I reminded myself and tried to focus on Mr. Doors' lecture.

"Hey," I heard a whisper from my right.

Now's the time, Annabelle. Here's your moment to show him what's up. To stick it up his ass for blowing you off!

I felt him lean closer, his scent wafting over to me, taking my nasal passages prisoner.

Just breathe!

But I couldn't. If I breathed, I'd end up hyperventilating in his scent and then how would that look to him? Desperate and pathetic! He'd know I was waiting like a fool, not leaving my phone for even a minute just in case he decided to call.

I ignored him.

"Ignoring me, huh?" James chuckled.

What? You didn't think I had it in me? Asshole!

I continued to ignore him for another ten minutes, paying attention to my penmanship and to the lecture.

"That's a nice color you're wearing," he whispered, sounding smooth and flirty.

I felt my body subtly betray me. My feet were restless, wanting to bounce up and down in excitement.

I ignored him.

"Yeah, that's a nice color. But actually it's that shirt itself, the shape – it's really nice." The way he emphasized the word 'nice' made it sound almost dirty.

The heat in my face rose up again. If he kept going, I'd combust.

It was time to nail this puppy in the butt.

I slowly leaned back into my chair and dropped my pen into my notebook. I cleared my throat just loud enough for him to hear. I mustered every ounce of cool expression I had locked up in me. I turned my gaze to meet his. His green eyes peered down at me with an intensity that made my heart skip beats. I held my left hand over my mouth to shield it from any wandering eyes and to shield me from getting in trouble for what I was about to say.

"Screw off," I whispered nonchalantly. My eyes didn't leave his until I nodded once and returned my attention to the lecture.

"Don't be like that, Fireball." James didn't sound the least bit affected by my blow.

"I'm trying to pay attention, please stop talking."

"You have to understand something." James exclaimed.

I scowled at him. "Oh yeah, what's that?"

"Stop acting like that and I'll tell you." He scowled back.

My eyes bulged out. "Stop acting like what?"

"It wasn't my fault. I screwed up my phone during practice. Had to get a new one but I didn't have your phone number anymore. That's why."

Jesus, how many times had he rehearsed that?

I turned disbelieving eyes on him.

"Yeah, that's why, okay, that's what really happened."

"You don't believe me?" James actually sounded offended.

I stared him straight in the eye.

"Does it really matter?" I asked. "It's over and done with. Do your thing and don't worry about me." I hoped he'd take my word for it and leave me alone.

But you don't want him to leave you alone! I screamed silently as I turned my neck back around. This was just the way things had to be. I knew my place and he should know his. Our worlds were separate from the start, only by accident had we been brought together and whatever happened afterwards was one giant mistake.

"Calm down," he dared to say as he leaned back into his own seat.

I gave him an incredulous look.

"You calm down –"

"What's your problem? Always riding my ass about something I did."

"I'm like that, bro," I shrugged. "A big pain in the ass. Maybe you'll keep that in mind next time you waste energy going after a girl who'll accept you as you are."

"Bro? We're bro's now?" He turned and snickered silently to himself before turning back to stare at me with a new, piercing expression.

Damn it. Damn those green eyes.

I shrugged.

"I don't know many bros that have done the things we've done, Fireball," James said, sounding amused.

I heard him chuckle as my face grew hot. I didn't have any words to counter-attack with.

I ignored him.

"I guess I was wrong about you," he whispered.

"I guess so," I replied, pretending to pay attention to Mr. Doors' lecture.

There was a knock on the door. Mr. Doors opened it and whispered to the person on the other side.

"Class, I'll be back in a few minutes," he announced before leaving, closing the door behind himself.

Do it now!

I picked up my backpack from the floor and took out my phone. I could feel James staring at me. I turned on my phone and scrolled through my contacts list.

"What are you doing?" he asked hesitantly.

"I'm just deleting something," I replied, nonchalantly.

"Something important?" James sneered.

"No, not anymore." I pressed delete on 'Tiger' and tucked my phone back into my bag. James shook his head and smirked.

Chapter 11

ANNABELLE

Mr. Doors looked relieved when the bell finally rang.

"No homework tonight!" he shouted enthusiastically.

Everyone shouted back their approval.

Thank God! I did not feel like doing homework on the first day back. I flipped my notebook closed and tucked it in my bag. The last hour had been interesting. Besides the obvious: James sitting next to me, making weird grunting noises randomly during the lesson. Whatever he was trying to do, I did my best to ignore him. I focused on the front, making sure my line of vision never wandered to my right even when some of his grunts were beginning to sound suggestive towards the end of class. My head shook thinking about it. I didn't know where his mind wandered off to after our little spat but somehow he'd decided that grunting was more effective than using words.

Boys.

Maybe he's borderline stupid? I envisioned myself shrugging like I honestly didn't know whether or not he actually was 'stupid'. The image made me want to laugh. I turned to the window and tried to hold it in but few quiet chuckles spilled out.

"What's so funny?"

I stopped laughing.

Shit! He's still sitting beside me! I took a moment to breathe out the last of the amusing image and slowly turned back to face him.

"It's nothing," I said calmly. I hoped he believed me.

He looked at me warily.

Okay, he doesn't believe me.

Screw it.

"Okay, it's not nothing." I grinned and stood up with my backpack, pausing in front of his desk with my back to him. "I was thinking that maybe you might be a little bit stupid."

I sped from the room before he had a chance to reply. I didn't even get to see his reaction but I just called him stupid, so I was sure it wasn't going to be good.

What was I thinking? Do I have a death wish? I grimaced as I shuffled around the crowded hallway making my way to my next class.

*~*~*

After two more classes, it was finally time for my favorite period of the day.

Lunch!

Oh yeah. I was starving.

My stomach had begun grumbling a little too loudly during last period, loud enough that the person next to me began laughing from the volume.

That was so embarrassing! I was going to have to hide some snacks in my bag to eat on the way to school if Mom kept giving me that twiggy breakfast.

I headed to the bathroom before meeting Jenna in the cafeteria.

"Donna! Nuh-ungh!" A barrage of girls shot into the bathroom, giggling loudly as I shut the door to my stall.

I paused with my back against the door, deciding to eavesdrop when I heard who might be involved in this intellectual conversation.

Donna.

"He's so cute!"

"So cute!"

"Too cute!"

"He's mine!"

"Uh oh! The predator's been unleashed!"

"Donna's out on the hunt ladies, so back off!"

Who are they talking about it? My heart began beating faster.

I didn't move a muscle as they shuffled in front of the mirror, fixing their hair and makeup. I turned around to peek through the gap between the stall door and the wall. I could only see Donna leaning into the mirror, applying mascara and puckering her lips at her reflection.

"James is so mine!" Donna said with firm determination.

James! But he's...mine? I worried, my anxiety levels shooting up.

The door to the bathroom opened again and the girls giggled their way out with more cheesy lines about how Donna was unstoppable and other puke-worthy shit like that.

Should I punch her? I really want to hit her! My fists clenched against the hard surface of the stall door as a sickening feeling expanded from the core of my stomach to the edge of my throat.

Calm down! I urged myself, breathing in and out slowly.

Why was I upset?

If Donna wanted to go for James, who the hell was I to stop her?

It wasn't like I'd be a match against her anyways.

She was one of the hot chicks, according to the crowds of boys that stopped and stared whenever she was around. No one stopped and stared at me – unless I had a mustard stain on my shirt.

I finished my business in the bathroom and headed to the cafeteria. By the time I entered, there was no line at the cafeteria restaurant. That wasn't good. It meant everything good was taken and I'd be stuck with whatever nobody wanted.

Salad and water.

Well at least I won't have to lie to Mom about what I ate.

I scanned the room for Jenna before getting my food. My heart jumped when I noticed James sitting with a group of baseball caps and Donna's crew scattered amongst them.

That's just great, she's already hard at work! I grated my teeth when I saw Donna scoot closer to James. My fists clenched when I saw him cock his neck and smile at her.

Asshole!

I made myself turn away. Staring like a stalker psycho was not a good look for me. I quickly scanned the rest of the room and thankfully spotted Jenna sitting at a table with some of her swim team members.

"Dude?" Jenna muttered, concerned, as I sat down across from her.

I dropped my backpack to the ground and turned to her.

"What?" I asked warily.

She leaned closer and hissed in my ear,

"Why is your face red?"

I touched my face; I felt a little warm.

"I'm just hungry. I barely got to eat anything this morning; Mom gave me this weird cereal that tasted like sticks and I think she mixed my milk with water," I explained, hoping she'd buy the excuse.

"Shit!" Jenna exclaimed. "Go get something to eat," she ordered, motioning to the restaurant.

I got up and headed to the empty restaurant. Suddenly, I was hit by the realization that my hunger pains were going to act up again, maybe by end of next period once I used up the last of my energy.

I walked up to the sliding door fridge and debated the selection of salads. Caesar or House?

As I contemplated the difficult choice, a hard body softly nudged my side, startling me.

"Hey – Wait your turn!" I yelped. I twisted my head to see a muscular arm practically bursting out of a blue sleeve. I followed the path of muscles to the asshole's face.

James! I blinked when my eyes met his amused green ones.

I should have known it was him; the rudeness was definitely up his alley. I quickly turned back to the salad selection, slid opened the door, and pulled out a house salad. I ignored him and walked to the counter with the dressing selection.

"I didn't take you for a coward," he said to my back.

"How am I a coward?" I responded. I picked up a packet of Italian dressing and turned to face him. He was leaning against the railing, arms folded across his chest.

"You insult me then run away like a scared little girl," he sneered.

"I was going to be late for my next class," I replied, trying to sound rational.

"Right!"

He didn't believe me.

I didn't care.

"Believe what you want!" I stretched out my arm in emphasis and his eyes followed my arm to the salad in my hand.

"Still on that diet?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked quietly. I did not want anyone to hear I was on a diet. It was embarrassing enough that he knew.

"You told me last time we – you know – spent time together. The fight with your parents."

"Yes, I'm still on a diet." I informed him.

"That's ridiculous," James said. "You don't need to be on a diet."

"Oh yeah." I said.

He nodded. "Yeah. You look good to me."

"I can die happy then," I sneered.

He grabbed my arm and pulled me into his embrace.

"What are you doing? We're at school!" I exclaimed.

"Relax," he murmured. "No one can see. Everyone already came through, you came late."

"What do you want from me?" I cringed.

"Can't you see that I like you?" He pressed.

"Really? Well you could have fooled me." I tried to pull away from him, but he held me tightly.

"I'm telling the truth," he said urgently.

"And I'm telling you that the damage is already done," I explained. "Two weeks went by and there wasn't one word from you."

His eyes widened. "That wasn't my fault, my phone was damaged. I had to get a new one."

I snorted. "Still using that line, huh?"

"I'm telling the truth!" he exclaimed.

"You're not!" I stared him dead in the eye and yanked my arm out of his hold. I walked back to the fridge and put back my salad. I wasn't hungry anymore.

I exited the restaurant, leaving him alone.

What a liar!

My blood boiled.

I could feel it burning every inch of my body.

I knew my face was turning red.

Jenna would be even more suspicious.

I grabbed my cheeks and rubbed them, hoping to send some signal to my brain to calm down. Jenna didn't notice when I slid back onto the bench; she was deep in conversation with the girl on her right about the proper way to swim a breaststroke. My stomach grumbled loud enough for me to hear. I was hungry, but I felt too nauseous to even considering eating anything.

What the hell did he want from me?

If he actually liked me, why was he always making things difficult?

"What the hell happened to you?" Jenna whispered.

I didn't look at her, instead turning my head back to the restaurant. James was walking out; his friends were hollering at him to get his ass back to the table and settle whatever they were debating, probably some baseball statistics. He held out a chocolate milk to show them what he'd been up to.

He hadn't even gone in there to talk to me; it was only convenient that I happened to be in there too. He really just wanted chocolate milk. I watched him slide into his seat; he glanced up and scanned the room, stopping when he saw me. He scowled at me. I shook my head at him.

"Who are you looking at?" Jenna asked loudly.

"Chocolate milk!" I muttered in disbelief.

"Chocolate milk?" Jenna repeated sounding confused.

I broke the connection and turned my back on him.

I took a deep breath.

"I'm not feeling too good. It's too noisy in here; it's giving me a headache." I got off the bench and lifted my bag off the ground.

"Where are you going?" Jenna looked concerned.

"To the library. It's quiet. I need quiet right now."

Jenna nodded. "Okay. I'll see you next period though, right?"

"Yeah, see you there." I walked out of the cafeteria, feeling his green eyes stare.

The silence was golden when I walked into the library. I wandered toward the back where the study nooks were hidden behind the stacks of books and plopped down in the one furthest from the entrance. I put my bag on the table and rested my head against it, closing my eyes. With the help of the air conditioning and the quiet bliss the library offered, I was cooling down.

My bag vibrated as my phone received a new message.

Can't be James, apparently he doesn't have my number anymore! I swiped the screen and checked the message.

New message from: Mom!

Damn!

Mom: What did you choose for lunch? Please Annabelle! I hope you were responsible!

She'd be happy to know that I didn't eat anything bad. But if I told her I ate nothing, then there'd be hell to pay for putting my body in 'starvation mode.' Curse all those pamphlets from the nutritionist's office.

I texted her back:

Annabelle: I ate salad. Happy?

There, that should ease her blood pressure.

That was fast; she must have been hovering around her phone, waiting for my response.

Mom: Thank you!!!!

I tapped out of the messages and slid my phone back into my bag, resuming my previous position.

This is nice! I enjoyed the silence immensely. The library was so quiet; I could hear the front entrance open and people walking about inside. The sound of someone walking through the stacks caught my attention, but I didn't bother opening my eyes. It had nothing to do with me.

Then I heard those same footsteps come to a halt.

Right behind me.

What now?! I was beginning to get irritated. I'd come in here for some peace and quiet, which was a hard to get that when whoever was behind me wouldn't shut up.

What, is he lost? I wondered, waiting to hear the person move away. I tucked my face further into my bag, trying to hide from the light. I heard the Lost Boy walk over to the study nook closest to mine and drop a bag on the desk then he dragged the chair...towards me.

What!

My eyes snapped open and I lifted my head off my bag to see what was going on. The first thing I saw was blue. My eyes began adjusting to the light and I saw the blue was a t-shirt on a guy's strong body as he dragged the chair over to me.

I blinked a few times; maybe I wasn't seeing things right.

James?

He positioned the chair next to mine and sat down with a small, satisfied smile on his face. I stared at him wide-eyed and he stared back. It looked like he wanted to grin but tried to hold it back.

It was several seconds before I broke the silence.

"Is there something I can do for you?" I asked him quietly. I was tired and emotionally drained long past the point of having the energy to fight him. Whatever this was going to be, it was going to end quickly so I could return to my nap.

That's probably what he's counting on: my lack of energy.

He leaned in and whispered, "Why do you love giving me shit all the time?"

"Really? That's why you came all the way here, to ask me that?"

"You love to ride my ass don't you? I can do nothing right with you," he exclaimed.

"That's because you're an asshole," I replied calmly.

"And you keep insulting me! But, unlike you, I don't hold it against you for days."

"Whatever. Are you done?" I asked. "I don't have the energy for you right now. Any last thoughts before you leave me alone?"

His lip twitched.

"Yeah, there's something else."

"Well, be quick about it," I sighed. "I've only got fifteen minutes left to nap."

James's hands jerked out suddenly and latched onto my face, pulling me towards him.

"What!" I hissed at him.

He closed the distance between us and pressed his lips against mine. The last two weeks without me were showing; his lips moved hungrily across mine as if the time apart had been difficult for him, too.

Pull back, Annabelle – Like now! My mind commanded my body.

My body gave my mind the finger.

Well, screw you too then. He's going to hurt you again and you know it!

I wrapped my arms around him and pressed into him more. James let go of my face, wrapping his hands around my waist and pulling me from my chair into his lap, sidesaddle.

Are you crazy?! My mind screamed, incredibly shocked at my body's irrational behavior. What happened to erasing him from your life?!

My body replied: Can't talk now, kissing.

He deepened his kiss, moving rapidly. It was like he was starving and I was the juicy hamburger that had become too tempting to turn away from.

A louder than necessary moan escaped his lips as we separated for a second to catch our breaths.

The Librarian! I panicked. If we got caught, we'd be in big trouble. But instead of stopping this crazy thing we were doing, I tightened my hold on him. He tightened his arms, pulling me against his chest. I felt his hands creep up and graze the side of my boob.

Slap him! My mind screamed.

I should have but I kept going, kissing him as he massaged my sides. It felt too good. I knew we needed to stop before it went any further; we were still at school.

I pulled back reluctantly and rested my forehead against his.

Mine, I dared to think as I tried to control my breathing.

James leaned into my neck and whispered breathlessly,

"You feel so good."

He began kissing my neck. I tilted my head to the side to give him better access. As we shuffled around, kissing each other's necks, a small amount of space opened up between us and I could feel steam escape.

Why did that always happen?

The bell rang.

Wow, fifteen minutes gone.

It didn't feel that long, only five at most. I pulled away. His hands didn't let go of me as I got off him. They slowly released as I moved back to my chair. I shouldered my bag and noticed his black Miami Marlins baseball cap was on the ground. I picked it up and held it out to him.

He didn't take it from me, leaning his head down instead.

He wanted me to put it on him?

His wild hair was all over the place. That was all me, my fault. My hands had been all through his hair while we'd been busy. He still looked good, messy hair and all.

This was different. We weren't caught up in each other's arms yet for some reason it seemed more intimate.

Just do it! Don't be embarrassed, he told you he likes you.

I took a step so that I was right beside him. He sat quietly, looking completely relaxed. I ran my fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp. His head leaned back, eyes closed. I smoothed back his hair and put his cap on the way he liked – or at least the way I'd seen it on him – backwards.

I spun around and ran through the stacks. I could hear him grab his own bag and, before I exited the stacks, his hand was on my shoulder, stopping me easily.

James turned me around, moving his hands to hold my face. He plunged in, kissing me again as if he needed oxygen and only my lungs could provide it. He melted against me. I felt his lips turn desperate as I tried to pull back.

I needed to breathe.

I needed to get to class.

He held on tighter and I gave up trying to pull away.

Screw it. I'll go to class late.

Chapter 12

ANNABELLE

I don't even know...

I needed an explanation... Where the hell was my backbone?

How could I have caved so quickly?

He gives a little bit and I let go of whatever I had against him – which were very good reasons to never speak to him again – and he gets everything on a silver platter.

I'd even fixed his hair. What was wrong with me?

Am I the one who's 'stupid'?

No way. Five times five equals twenty-five!

I must have been just plain stupid. Stupid girls were the ones who got played easily. They were the ones who let boys kiss and touch them for hours, then accept when they didn't call for weeks.

Why is it that whenever I'm around him, I lose everything that makes me not one of those stupid girls?

I didn't know what was wrong with me.

"Annabelle!" Jenna hissed from beside me and hit my shoulder.

I snapped out of my trance and turned to her.

"What?" I said, clearing my throat.

She looked at me warily and pointed to the empty desks in front of us. "Class is over," she said quietly.

I blinked back and forth between her and the empty classroom. I'd been out of it for the entire class. I didn't even hear the bell ring.

"Dude, where were you during History?" Jenna asked worriedly while putting her things into her backpack. "Did you even take any notes?"

She leaned over to scan my open notebook. It was blank except for the date on the top right-hand corner. Jenna straightened, looking dumbfounded.

Damage control! I shook whatever trance-induced feelings my body was still experiencing and got busy. I quickly closed my notebook and shoved it into my bag.

"I told you before at lunch, I'm not feeling well," I mumbled as I stood and hoisted my backpack up.

"I can see that, but I think there's more to the story than you're telling me." She got out of her chair and put her backpack on. She stood in front of me and folded her arms across her chest.

"Now!" Jenna demanded fiercely. "Spill everything or I'm going to have to kill you, right here, right now."

I let out an exasperated huff. "Kill me?" I repeated, bewildered.

"Yeah, that's right! It's the penalty for lying to your best friend," she explained with an attitude. "Didn't you read the rulebook when we first became best friends?"

"Well, seeing as how we were five when we became friends – and couldn't read – then, no." I tried to match her attitude with my own but my voice came out hoarse.

All that kissing?

Now you can't speak properly!

"Tell me!" She urged desperately. Any trace of humor in her eyes was gone, replaced with worry.

I looked away.

How could I tell her? How could I tell my best friend that for an entire month I'd been having this weird relationship with a boy she didn't even know?

She'd never forgive me for holding out on her. She'd double never forgive when I told her about what happened in his room two weeks ago and him ignoring me for two weeks, or when I told her I just made out with him the library for twenty minutes.

I took a deep breath and slowly turned back to look her in the eyes. She was waiting with her arms still crossed, looking like she could wait all day. I scanned the room for any stragglers. The entire class, including our History teacher Ms. Lady, was gone.

"I'm sorry," I quietly said. I sounded ashamed.

She dropped her arms before spreading them wide, palms open. Confused. "What?"

"You're right, I have been holding out on you," I explained nervously. In the pit of my stomach, butterflies began playing tag with one another. I was beginning to feel sick.

I inhaled a long breath.

"I've been kind of...this is weird...I don't even know how to explain it..."

Jenna shook her head impatiently and ordered, "Just start from the beginning."

I took another much needed breath and spilled my guts about the last month. As I explained, her eyes grew wider and her mouth kept lowering in shock – probably at my stupidity.

"Wait a freaking minute!" Jenna spat, holding out her hands to emphasize her need for me to stop.

Here it comes. World war-style beat down, Jenna-style. I leaned back, sitting on my desk, holding the edges for support as she prepared to lay into me.

"No! Annabelle, tell me you're lying," she cried, looking horrified. She folded her arms across her chest again and shook her head at me.

"I'm weak," I said quietly.

"No shit!" She was looking at me like I was a fool.

"I don't know what I can do. It's like every time I see him, I want to be strong and shove his charms back up his ass," I explained, staring at the ground. "But he just doesn't leave me alone. He wears me down, telling me things that make everything shitty he's done seem not so bad and I become a quivering, hopeless romantic that doesn't give two shits about pride."

Jenna remained still, her mouth open in shock at my candor. I inhaled a long breath; I needed the oxygen badly.

"I don't know... I don't know... I don't know," I whispered to myself.

"Do you...like him?"

Honestly? I thought before answering. My body knew the answer before my mind did. My mind tried debating the pros and cons of liking him, but my body told my brain to shut the hell up and stop bullshitting.

"Yes," I whispered pathetically, practically whimpering.

Jesus! Hello Lovesick Hotline, I have issues that are desperately in need of your services! I felt ashamed for liking him because he didn't deserve to be liked.

"Well...shit!" Jenna muttered to herself. She shook her head at the ground before looking back up at me. "I didn't figure you to be one of those girls that liked the asshole types."

She gazed at me warily, as if seeing me for the first time. I shook my head at her reaction.

"I don't like asshole types!" I urged desperately.

"He's an asshole and you like him," she said, simply. It was what it was.

"Damn it!" I sputtered. "I'm so messed up."

"No. No, you're not." She grabbed onto my shoulders and gave me a gentle shake. The humor had reached her eyes again. "You're just a little bit stupid. Don't worry, this too shall pass."

She tightened her grip on my shoulders before commanding, "Deep breaths!"

I did as she commanded and took deep, slow breaths.

"No more! I repeat, no more! James will no longer be getting a little something-something from Annabelle! Repeat!" she commanded, holding my shoulders tighter.

"'James will no longer be getting a little something-something from Annabelle!'" I repeated, feeling myself return to normal.

"James's days in Annabelle's love garden are over! Repeat!"

"'James's days in Annabelle's...love garden?...are over!" I repeated, breaking out into a huge grin. Jenna and her phrases.

My friend! The thought warmed my heart. I was so freaking lucky to have a good best friend like her.

"And last, but not least, I repeat and you don't have to... If James and his small baby cousin don't treat you with respect from now on – Now on! Like right from this point... No, from the time you left the library – he will cease to exist for you! Understood?" Jenna demanded sternly.

I straightened my back and saluted her. "Yes, drill sergeant!"

She grabbed me from behind and walked forward, pushing me along. "Now, let's get the hell out of here, empty classrooms give me the creeps."

I laughed and let her push me out the door.

I felt much better.

*~*~*

I need to pee!

I shut my locker. Jenna was draped over the locker next to mine.

I turned to her. "Washroom?"

"I don't need to but don't worry I'm going to stand guard outside your stall in case any assholes try to sweep in and confuse you when you least expect it. You know, 'cause it happened so many times before." She managed to keep her face serious for a second before smirking.

I shook my head and led the way towards the bathrooms. I felt her hands push on my shoulders.

"Just making sure you don't detour, you know, with you being all up and down," she pointed out as she led from behind.

"You're never going to let me forget, are you?" I muttered, letting her push me.

"No, not for a while. Besides, I'm having too much fun poking fun at your dumb-ass mistakes!"

"What's 'a while'?" I asked her apprehensively. I hoped her answer wouldn't be when we turned old and gray.

"I'm thinking your wedding day."

"Gee, I don't know whether I should say thank you for not milking this 'til we're eighty or to shove you for being a heartless, unsympathetic bitch." My voice was hesitant as we walked into the washroom.

"Bitch!" Jenna exclaimed, marching up to the mirror.

I chose the stall farthest from the door as Jenna fluffed her hair in front of the mirror.

"There's no practice today, thank God! You want to go to my house?" she asked through the door.

"Okay," I told her as I zipped up my pants.

The washroom door opened with a bang and a stampede of excited heels came clicking in. I waited to open the stall door.

"Hey Jenna!" an abundance of sugar-sweet voices exuded as their footsteps came to a halt. They were probably in front of the mirror, alongside Jenna, checking their hair and makeup.

"Oh – Hey, Latisha," Jenna said hesitantly.

I let out a sigh of relief; it was only Latisha, she was on the swim team with Jenna.

"Sidney, Donna. How's everything?" Jenna continued.

Donna! I began to tense up. I'd forgotten that Latisha was good friends with Donna and the rest of her hot chick crew. I leaned my back against the door and closed my eyes in frustration, why did this girl have to use the bathroom every time I did? It was annoying! Now I'd have to stay in my stall until they left, or else face a row of reflected glares at my unannounced presence, making things very awkward.

Hurry up, please!

"We're buzzin'," One of them slurred ridiculously as if she were drunk. Was it Latisha? "Back to school party at Peter's tonight! Are you going?"

"Peter's parties are kur-azy!" another one exclaimed excitedly.

Neither voice was Donna's – I could recognize that girl's voice from a million others; there was a certain...whore-ish tone that always accompanied her valley girl accent.

"Nah, I'm still exhausted from training so much this past week," Jenna explained nonchalantly.

"I'm tired too, but there's no way I'm missing tonight," Latisha enthused, bordering on cheerleader-level pep. "It's going to be killer!"

Why is that bitch not speaking? I fumed against the door, careful not to make any noise. Even Jenna knew not to announce me in front of them, knowing the glares I'd receive from Donna.

"I wouldn't miss tonight for anything," Donna said.

There's the snake, finally out of hiding!

"How so? Is there something special happening at the party?" Jenna sneakily asked.

"You could say that!" Donna sung. I heard her pucker her lips; it made me feel ill, puke-worthy.

"Well? Spill!" Jenna urged.

Jenna! What are you doing? An anxiety bubble began growing inside my stomach at the assumption of what had Donna all excited.

Please! Let it not be what I think it is! I prayed silently.

"James," She sighed.

No!

"James? Who's that? I don't think I've met him yet," Jenna lied, playing stupid. She may not have met him officially, but she'd see him soon enough in the hallways or in the cafeteria.

"James Lawson!" Donna purred.

"So hot!" Latisha sighed.

"Tall, dark, and incredibly built," Sydney whispered as if it were hot gossip to be kept on the down low.

God help me now!

"James Lawson," Jenna repeated.

"My future boyfriend," Donna declared with determination.

No!

"Wow, well I guess you've got a plan to make him yours?" Jenna asked her.

I didn't know what she was thinking, but I knew the calm tone to her voice was a lie. She was my best friend and she didn't like it when I got upset; I was upset, really upset.

She's trying to get some answers out of them, I assumed silently.

"You got that right," Donna answered seductively.

Oh my God! What's with the slut voice? I felt the beginnings of a world-class headache on its way as I tried to decipher the meaning behind her tone. Did she plan to use her assets to claim James officially?

I hope not!

"Oh yeah, how?" Jenna asked.

"That's my little secret," Donna replied coyly. The sound of her bubbly princess-style giggles were enough to make me want to throw up. Thank God I was trapped in a stall with a perfectly working toilet.

Jenna laughed like she got it – only I could tell it was fake.

"Okay, whatever you say, girl," she replied, replicating the crew's enthusiasm. "So, when did you guys find out about this party?"

"Peter told everyone at lunch," Latisha responded.

Peter was sitting across from James! James knew about this party before our library session! I was getting too hot.

"James said he was going right?" Jenna asked, faking concern.

I didn't know how much more of this I could take!

I wiped sweat off my forehead.

"Yeah! He and the guys were like so excited when Peter announced it," Donna exclaimed joyously.

"That's good, at least you know he's going to be there like for sure!" Jenna replied.

A bubbling feeling began to cause me discomfort as I waited for Donna to answer. A large gurgled noise rose out of my stomach, loud enough for everyone in the washroom to hear.

"What was that?" Sydney burst out laughing.

"Ew!" Donna muttered.

"Yeah," Jenna agreed, matching their tones.

"Let's go before whoever it is stinks up the entire bathroom," Donna said.

I heard their shoes click against the hard ground and the door open.

"Jenna, you coming?" Latisha asked.

"I've got to use the bathroom, you guys go ahead," She explained, marching up to one of the stalls.

"Okay, later girl!" Latisha shouted as she exited.

"Bye!" Jenna called as she went into the stall.

The door closed and the washroom went completely silent for a few seconds. It was so quiet I could hear my own breathing

"Anna?" Jenna whispered from inside her stall. I heard her walk out of her stall and over to mine.

"Coast is clear," she said to the door.

I unlocked the door and opened it. I blinked at the sight of Jenna's worried face as she scanned me from head to toe. I walked stoically to the closest sink and turned on the tap. I washed my hands in silence as I checked my reflection. My cheeks were slightly flushed, but other than that I looked better than the nervous wreck I was inside.

Donna and James! The thought was replaying over and over in my mind. I imagined them in tight embrace at Peter's party, hidden away in one of the bedrooms.

"Anna, your hands are shaking!" Jenna was suddenly beside me. How'd she get there? I didn't even hear her footsteps.

I was out of it!

I turned off the tap and dried my hands with a paper towel.

All in silence.

Jenna grabbed me by the shoulders as I threw the paper towel in the garbage.

"Dude, you need to calm down," She ordered, her voice soothing. "Deep breaths."

Deep breaths.

I obeyed.

"I'm okay," I muttered to her.

"Did he tell you in the library?" Jenna interrogated. So much for calm and soothing, she was in drill sergeant mode now. "Did he tell you about the party at Peter's tonight?"

I stared wide-eyed at her and shook my head. Her eyes narrowed at my response as her lips tightened.

She's pissed!

"So he tells you he likes you, follows you like a little puppy dog to the library, then makes out with you whilst you were on his lap, and he didn't tell you about the party?!"

"No," I mumbled depressingly. I felt wetness at the corner of my eyes as a lump grew in the base of my throat.

Don't you cry! I ordered myself as I tried to choke back the tears. I was a joke, a stupid naïve little girl who let herself be played like a fiddle. Even after he'd ignored me for two weeks after kissing me in his bed, it had not taken him long to get me right back in that position.

I had no backbone. I was weak, a failure, a pathetic groupie who thought she had a shot when, in fact, she was just a matter of convenience for him.

"No!" Jenna ordered, seeing my eyes well up.

My lip clenched but the ripples were too strong for me to contain. A small whimper escaped as a tear rolled down my face.

"I'm sorry, I'm an idiot!" I exploded as a puddle of tears slid down my face, racing to my chin.

Jenna pulled me into a tight hug.

"Don't cry, Anna. Don't!" she ordered, her voice clearly upset. "Don't cry over that D-bag, he's a piece of crap liar!"

I rested my head on to her shoulder as she took a step back to look me in the eyes.

But I couldn't look at her.

Chapter 13

ANNABELLE

Food!

I salivated in front of a row of chips as my sweaty body basked in the air-conditioned bliss of a 7-Eleven.

An hour at Jenna's hadn't helped nearly as much as she'd hoped.

One, I was starving and I hadn't eaten anything there.

Two, and most importantly, I was a zombie that refused to indulge in feelings that were safely locked away and hidden – I'd open that safe later, in the privacy of my room, hoping my tears wouldn't ruin what was left of my psyche.

But, for now, I was a zombie on a mission. While stupid James and his slut-slave Donna danced away at Peter's party tonight, I would indulge in the most massive junk food binge of my life.

Operation junk food: Commence!

I had grabbed a basket from the front before trailing towards the junk food aisle of the store. I planned to fill it up. My hands automatically answered the call of junk food and grabbed a few bags of chips along with some candy bars. The next stop, possibly the most important, was the sliding fridge. I grabbed four cans of regular pop and neatly lined them in the basket so that they wouldn't trample the candy bars and chips.

The calorie-count in all of this was going to be in the thousands – I didn't care. I was eating all of it. Tonight. I wanted there to be smudges of chocolate all over my mouth as I slept. I wanted to sleep on smashed pieces of chips that failed to make it into my mouth. I wanted to wake up tomorrow morning with a toothache so painful it'd make me forget about today.

I could only hope.

I made my way to the counter to pay, and along the way my hand grabbed a small bag of kettle popcorn that was on sale and a small bag of Cracker Jacks.

I decided I needed those too.

I brought my overflowing basket to the cashier and handed over some money. I placed everything into my backpack with care, placing the heavier items on the bottom. Since the first day back this year had fallen on a Friday, there was no homework so my bag was practically empty except for my doodle notebook.

The automatic sliding doors opened as new customers walked in. I hoisted my backpack onto my shoulders, preparing to make the trip home a quick one because it was especially hot today and I needed to get home before my chocolates melted and my drinks got warm. I hated warm pop. I couldn't drink them at that temperature and, if that happened, it would be very bad.

With how things had been going so far, one more disappointment would be the tipping point in my psychological meltdown. I made a safe bet when I placed all my happiness cards in the instant satisfaction of cheap junk food.

The sliding doors opened for me and I speed walked home, careful not to shake my bag too much so the cans of pop wouldn't explode when I opened them. I wanted to drink it, not bathe in it.

I quietly opened the front door as I slid out my key from the lock, careful not to make noise. I wanted one thing and that was to make it to my room as fast as possible.

"Annabelle? Is that you?" Mom called from the basement.

I let out a sigh at my failure and closed the door behind me. The floorboards rumbled as I kicked off my shoes. I tightened my hold on the straps of my backpack. My treasure was safe in there as long as I kept it close to my body; as long as my bag was on my back, she couldn't unzip it and explore.

That would be rude.

"Annabelle? Why didn't you answer?" Mom asked from the hallway.

I looked up as she entered the foyer. "I'm just tired," I responded exhaustedly.

"How was your first day? Senior year!"

"It was fine. Nothing special." I shrugged and turned to the stairs, "I'm going to my room."

"Wait! Annabelle, darling, about the shirt." Mom narrowed her eyes and shook her head. "It's a lovely color but the way it's fallen over your sweaty frame...it looks like it's been painted on. Darling...no."

"No problem, Mom. Next time I'll wear something not as tight."

"Thank you dear."

Without another word I jogged up the stairs to my room. I shut my door and collapsed against it with a sigh of relief.

I dumped my bag on my bed. Tonight was the night to wallow in despair over the terrible mistakes I'd made this past month. I planned to inhale every ounce of food in that backpack and enjoy the sweet and salty goodness because tomorrow and Sunday I had to snap back and figure out a way to save face.

I unzipped my bag and took out my first candy bar. Holding it like the treasure it was, I delicately unwrapped it and took my first bite of chocolate.

My safe haven.

Chapter 14

ANNABELLE

Friday September 7, 2012

Present time...

James's tongue tasted like chocolate as he pressed his lips farther into mine.

Yum, chocolate... I deepened the kiss, kicking away my previous intentions of telling him to go screw himself. How could I tell him to go away when he tasted like chocolate?

I don't turn away chocolate, not ever!

He lowered me back onto the ground and my shoes crunched against a texture that wasn't there before. I pulled back slightly; the aroma of chocolate was too much for me to handle without biting him. As I stared into his beautiful green eyes my shoes made crunching noises.

What am I standing on?

I glanced down and blinked in shock. Potato chips covered every inch of the school's front terrace. I glanced up in confusion.

"What's all of this?" I asked, incredibly confused.

All of a sudden, James's mouth was covered in smudges of melted chocolate as he gazed at me lovingly. "Baby, I did it for you!" he exclaimed like he was lovesick.

I gazed at the yellow texture covering the entire terrace then back up to him. "You did this for me?"

He nodded sweetly. "I know you love chips, my love. I did it to prove my devotion to you!"

"I do love chips!" I replied bewildered.

"And chocolate!" he purred seductively.

"I love chocolate too!" I gushed, about to swoon.

"Baby, I know!" he growled sexily and grabbed my waist, bending into me to press his chocolate-covered mouth onto mine passionately – letting me taste chocolate like I'd never tasted chocolate before.

Beep! Beep!

The noise rang loudly from the sky. James pulled back and stared deep in my eyes. I blinked a few times; his entire face was covered in chocolate.

"You like what you see, Fireball?" he purred.

My eyes jerked open.

Beep! Beep!

What?

I blinked a few times, taking several moments to realize where I was. I glanced up at my ceiling.

I'm still in bed!

I had dreamt the entire weekend went by in a flash and I met up with James on the terrace before school started.

How could I not know it was a dream?

Idiot!

I took a deep breath and wiped chip crumbs off my shirt. My hands shuffled around my bed until they felt my phone resting beside my pillow. I wiped any grease left on my hands on my sweaty green shirt then tapped on the message.

New message from: Jenna!

Jenna: So I've been thinking......

I read the short, vague message again before I texted back:

Annabelle: What do u mean you've been thinking? That's usually not a good thing...

I grabbed my nearly finished pop from my side table, it was slightly warm but I downed it anyways. The chocolate and potato chip combination had made me thirsty. I tucked the empty can behind my dresser as I waited for Jenna to explain her cryptic message.

My phone beeped.

Jenna: What! Between u and I, I'm obviously the brains! Anyways.....I got me an idea!

As I read the message, the doorbell rang.

Who could that be?

In the middle of typing a response to her, three knocks on my door caught me off guard. I flew off my bed, grabbing the half-eaten bag of chips.

"Just a minute!" I yelled frantically as I tucked the bag underneath my bed. Thank goodness the rest of my supply was safe in my bag, which I had stored in the closet. I had no worries about my drinks going warm or my chocolate melting, the air conditioning was always on high – the energy bill must be ridiculous.

Before opening the door, I wiped the edges of my mouth, hoping to eliminate any remnants of evidence. I wasn't in the mood for an interrogation.

Just make sure to stand at least two meters away if it's Mom, otherwise she'll smell it on your breath! I reminded myself before twisting the knob and opening the door.

I blinked in surprise.

Jenna?

"What are you doing here?" I muttered, confused at the sight of my best friend leaning against the wall with her arms crossed.

She pushed off the wall and strode into my room.  
"What are you doing here?" I asked her bewilderedly as she crossed the doorway.

"Like I said, I've been thinking," she exclaimed stopping in front of my bed, examining it for a second before looking back up at me.

"Thinking about what?" I asked hesitantly.

A smile slowly broke across her face as her eyes narrowed in on me.

"Feel like going to a party?"

Thank you for reading this book!

Annabelle's story continues in.... The Truth about James (Y.A Series Book 2).

READ CHAPTER 1 AND 2 NOW!!!

Chapter 1

ANNABELLE

"Going to a party?" I repeated slowly, narrowing my eyes at Jenna.

She must have been ill, because there was no way she just asked me to go to Peter's party with her tonight. I went to her and rested my palm against her forehead.

"I'm not sick Annabelle!" Her eyes widened underneath the edge of my hand.

I dropped my hand from her forehead. "You don't feel warm." I said in mock-concern, striding over to the window. I rested my chin on my fist, in a thinking stance as I peered out the window at the sun setting.

The conundrum.

"Are you serious?" Jenna asked in disbelief. "I'm not sick. I'm serious. Dead serious!"

I gazed back at her, tilting my head to the side.

"Are you speaking English right now?" I asked her slowly.

Her chin jerked forward. "You know very well what I'm saying. So stop pretending you don't understand me. We are going to that party!"

"Okay, whatever you say." I quickly told her, turning and crawling back on top of my bed.

Ohhh chips! I reached for the half eaten chip bag. At least there was one good thing happening in this moment.

Yay for chips.

Before touching the bag, it was cruelly snatched away, causing the inwards to spill all across my floor.

"Hey!"

"These will not help you!" Jenna held up the now empty bag as I crawled off the bed in haste.

"There's nothing in there anymore, it's all over my floor! You're cleaning that up!" I snapped at her.

She raised an eyebrow and flicked the empty chip bag into the air. It floated down, landing on top of my pillow.

My jaw dropped.

"That's what I thought bitch!" Jenna exclaimed, flipping her long black hair to the side.

Did she just flick her hair at me?

She did not just flick her hair at me!

"Do you wanna go right now? Because we can totally go, right now!" I threatened, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Darling you couldn't take me on your best day and if I seem to recall, today ain't one of those kinds of days for you. Don't push me." Jenna stated, holding out her hand.

Talk to her hand?

Oh no, bitch did not just give me the hand!

"Who do you_"

"Don't push me!" Jenna yelled over me.

"Push you _"

"Don't push me Annabelle, I swear to god! I will beat your dramatic ass!" Jenna warned, pulling her hand back down.

She'd better lower that hand!

Taking a deep breath, I unfolded my arms. "I'm not going."

"You're going." Jenna stated quietly.

"I'm not going." I repeated, my jaw clenching in frustration.

"You. Are. Going!" Jenna stated slowly, then turned and headed toward my closet. "Now lets see what you've got that'll be good for the party?"

"Don't you dare open my closet!" My feet remained still. "You do not have permission to open my closet, I forbid you!"

Jenna halted in front of my closed closet and flipped her hair over her shoulder, again.

Oh no she didn't!

"That's right, I did it again and I'll do whatever I God damn well please, try and stop me, I dare you!" Jenna's hands paused on top of the door knob. "Besides, I still owe you a beating for keeping a certain douchebag a secret for over a month, so in all actuality I'll win both ways. Either, I open this closet or you come here and stop me and then I beat your ass for being a stupid idiot, and for keeping James a secret. You choose!"

I clenched my teeth tightly. Damn her!

I flipped on to my bed, hiding my head into my pillow. "Do whatever you want, I don't care anymore!"

"First smart decision you've made in awhile Annabelle, I'm proud of you!" I heard the closet doors snap open. "Now let's see what you've got good enough to grace Peter's party to with."

"You're going to be disappointed then. I've got nothing good enough for a party, so in all actuality, we should just snap the book closed on going to this party. I've got no party clothes, absolutely nothing!" I muttered loudly.

"Found something!" Jenna announced. My head snapped up in confused shocked.

"What!" I twisted my head to see what she'd found. Jenna pulled out a hanger from the end of the rack, a hip level shimmery black tank top. I didn't know how she found that. I struggled to remember how it got into my closet in the first place.

"It still has a tag on it." Jenna held up the tag in confusion. I thought back, sorting through memories of anything that held a shimmery black tank top.

Mom.

Last June, before the weight loss spectacle, adventure, quest, Mom came home from the mall with bags of clothing for the entire family. Among the purchases, she was considerate enough to buy her slightly overweight daughter something she could wear outside, like to a party.

"I know it's only a medium, but the sales lady said the material stretches and after you lose weight this summer, I'm sure it's just going to look fabulous on you!" Mom gushed, last June.

I remember her eyes got all dreamy as she gazed at the shimmery top. She popped open my closet without asking me and took out a hanger, hung the tank top on top of it and slid it on the rack in the back.

"Think of it as something to work towards Annabelle!" She gushed some more, then exited the room.

I don't think I said a word or moved one inch during her 'positive' reinforcement. I don't think I moved or said anything for a good five minutes even after she'd left - I was still thawing from the shock of what had just happened.

"Snap out of your flashback Annabelle!" Jenna snapped her fingers across my face. "I'm ripping off this tag!"

"What?" I muttered, slowly coming out of my fog - but it was too late, the tag was ripped off and thrown into the tiny brown garbage bin underneath my desk. "I'm not wearing that!"

"You're so wearing it!" Jenna said back, holding the tank up into the air to examine it more thoroughly. "This is nice, you'll look great in it!"

"I'm not wearing it, it's too small anyways!" I snapped at her. "And I'm not going to that party, no way, no how!"

Jenna's arms dropped with the party top in hand. "When is this going to stop Anna?"

I blinked a few times as my mouth all of a sudden felt dry. I didn't understand what she was asking me, but strangely it stumped me anyways.

"When is what going to stop?" I answered confused. Jenna sighed loudly and plopped down on my bed, crossing her legs while she carefully placed the top flat across my bed.

"When are you going to look at yourself as a contender?" Jenna said as she looked up from the bed.

I looked away, all of a sudden uncomfortable with the line questioning. It had gotten really deep, and I wasn't known to excel in expressing my feelings.

"A contender – what?" I pretended not to understand her, hoping she'd forget about wanting to know the answer and move on to other menial line of questioning, like the stupid party.

Which I still was not going to go to. Why the hell would I want to go? Obviously I didn't want to go and watch James canoodle with slut bag Donna while I stalked privately in the corner like a loser.

Jenna let out a breath and tilted her head to the side. "In life Anna, let me tell you something, there are things that you're going to want, really want and when we want such things bad enough, we do things that are out of our comforts. Like lets say for instance, you – you want the L.U.V thing."

I let out a disgusted hiss, in disbelief that she went there. "Stop – just stop – you're speaking in code, it's annoying and it's not L.U.V it's L.O.V.E"

Jenna shook her head slowly. She thought I didn't understand her logic. "Well since you so politely mentioned it – yes, I think it's time I went all philosophical on your dumbass."

"Dude! I will totally hit you if you start, so don't even_" I began to say but Jenna sat down abruptly beside me and grabbed my shoulders, pushing them so that I'd face her completely.

"Life – is a long – long road, that shiny gold star that marks growth and acceptance is patiently waiting along the way – you just need to find your way to it." Jenna finished the gibberish with a look of contentment.

I needed to tell her that whatever she just said made.....absolutely no sense. For the good of mankind and the entire world, maybe even the galaxy, I thought I should tell her to never – ever speak that shit again.

Ever.

"Jesus Christ!" I hissed, looking away immediately.

"Do you have it, Anna?" Jenna got off the bed and stood in front of me with her arms folded across her chest. "Do you?"

I looked up with a combination of irritation and impatience on my face. "Do I have what? What are you talking about?"

"Have what it takes to make that journey?" Jenna answered breathily.

I just stared at her. I struggled to answer because it would mean searching through my psyche for the truth about how I really feel, and I didn't feel like being more down on myself than I already was.

"Why don't you just answer that for me since you seem to think you know me so well!" I told her, as a matter of factly.

"Bitch, I think you got it in you. All you need is to stop caring about what everyone thinks, especially whore-bags and assholes." Jenna said.

I looked back to the floor, her words sinking inside me. I wished they didn't affect me, but they did, and I felt my mind slowly sway toward actually going to this party.

I looked back up at her.

She stood with her hands to her hips, awaiting my reply, be it nasty or finally in agreement.

"What about my hair? I've got so much it takes forever to style." I held out a few strands to show her.

Jenna dropped her arms and her stance returned to relaxed. I'd conceded, so her work was done–well, for now at least.

"Leave the hair to moi!" Jenna said happily.

*~*~*

Leave the hair to moi! She said!

I remembered those words, and I couldn't believe I trusted them. Thirty minutes later, Jenna finally sprayed the last inch of hair of my now extremely perfect high ponytail. The skin around my face felt stretched as if I'd just had a facelift.

It hurt, bad. I was annoyed that I let her do this to me.

"What now?" Jenna said as she caught a glance of my irritated expression.

"Are you done now?" I scowled at her, jerking my head back from her retreating evil fingertips that not so long ago were tugging at my poor roots. "It's been torture, pure torture!"

"Shut it!" Jenna scowled back and placed the hair spray can on my desk. "You should be thanking me. I've taken you to another level – just wait, you're going to see when all the guys ogle you at Peter's later. I'm going to have to act like your bodyguard to keep the boys away."

"Dare to dream. That's not going to happen!" I went to the mirror next to my closet to examine her efforts.

It wasn't bad, in fact, it was really good. My long dark brown hair was combed back tightly into a high ponytail, showcasing my cheekbones and the rich caramel of my eyes.

"Not bad right?" Jenna smirked from behind. "I know, I know. I'm the master. It's alright we're alone here – you can admit it!"

I turned to face her, starting to chuckle. "I'm not calling you a master!"

"Whatever, I can see it in your eyes!" Jenna rolled her eyes. "But you see, a little fix here, a little fix there and wow, you're a superstar Anna."

"Whatever." I looked to the floor, but then looked back up to her when I remembered a little something we should have been thinking of from the beginning. "What about my parents? You know how nosy they are, how am I going to tell them I'm going to be going to a party?"

In the middle of fixing her own hair, Jenna's eyes met mine through the mirror. "Your parents aren't even home. I kind of forgot to tell you. In fact nobody's home."

"Nobody's home?" My eyes widened. "How?"

"I came over right when they were about to leave, told me they heard you snoring and didn't want to disturb you but when you woke to tell you that your parents were going to a party at a friend's house, and Charles and Katherine were going over to their friend's house for sleepovers. Fun."

"They were going to leave me alone and not tell me until I woke up to an empty house!" I blubbered in shock, leaning back down onto my bed and stared at my beloved ceiling.

"Get off the bed!" Jenna snapped angrily. "You're ruining all my hard work!"

She marched right over and hauled me up by my shoulders. "Eyes wide open. It's makeup time."

"My family doesn't give a shit about me." I moaned. "I'm an afterthought, I'm an inconvenience, that's all."

"Shut up." Jenna murmured. "Don't talk like that about yourself. Just because you don't have a life doesn't mean the rest of your family can't."

I jerked my head back and eyed her disapprovingly. "Thanks!"

"Don't mention it!" She grabbed my chin, smirking. "Anytime."

"Do you think I'm boring?" I asked her seriously as she put the mascara brush back into its tube. She narrowed her eyes in disbelief.

"Anna, you're not boring, you're just not that wild and adventurous." Jenna explained. "The craziest thing you've done, well if I'm being honest, is having that side – lusting thing with James. Which I must say, I'm still pissed about you keeping from me. But whatever, shit happens right!"

"I can be adventurous, I can be wild and free!" I told her firmly. "I'm a senior, isn't it some rule that you have to be carefree and wild during your senior year of high school?"

Jenna grinned. "Now you're getting it!"

"Oh I got it!" I got up and march in front of the mirror, examining the face paint. My lips were a glossy violet color, my caramel – colored eyes stood out more with the extra coat of mascara Jenna had applied. And my cheeks were extra rosy thanks to a pretty plum blush.

If I was conceited, I'd say I looked damn good, especially with the top mom had bought me before the summer had begun. It clung to my body tightly, but not to the point where I couldn't breathe. The most important thing was that it showcased my ten pound lighter body to its fullest.

"I look good." I murmured quietly, hoping Jenna wouldn't hear and laugh at the audacity.

Laughter broke behind me. I spoke too soon.

"What was that I hear?" Jenna laughed in disbelief. "Was someone telling her mirrored self that she actually looked good?"

I turned around, and for the first time, I think in my entire life, I wasn't ashamed to speak the truth. I looked good. I should be able to express that.

So here goes.

"Yeah, you heard right. I just said I looked good!" I said to her with attitude. "Damn good!"

Jenna marched right up to me and put both her hands on my shoulder. "Welcome to life my friend! Welcome to life!"

Chapter 2

ANNABELLE

"I'm gonna text my mom." I told Jenna after locking the front door.

"Tell her you're going to sleepover at my house, that way we can stay out longer!" Jenna said excitedly. "By the way my parents won't be home till three in the morning, they went to a party at my uncle's house."

"Why didn't you go to that then?" I asked as we strolled down the stone path towards the sidewalk. "Your family parties sound great."

"This one was for adults only and besides, tonight I'm needed elsewhere." Jenna grinned. "I had a few matters that needed fixing."

"Oh really!" I shook my head, laughing as I texted mom, asking her if it was okay to sleep over at Jenna's.

My phone beeped a few seconds later.

Damn mom was fast.

She must have had her phone beside her.

Mom: That's alright. But remember to monitor your calories and not to eat anything over the limit set aside by the nutritionist.

Have a great night darling.

"So mom just texted back, I'm not to eat anything over my calorie limit." I explained, tucking my phone in my back pocket. "Do you think there'll be food at this party?"

"Probably some chips and pop, but by the time we arrive," She checked her wrist watch. "It's almost nine. There probably won't be any snacks left. Maybe some pop. There's going to be drinks though. For sure!"

I stopped mid step.

Drinks?

Oh God....drinks! I turned, facing her. "There's going to be like beer there?"

"Among other things!" Jenna rolled her eyes, pushing me forward. "Geez Anna, this is a senior class party. What do you think goes on? Drinking, dancing and getting wild!"

"I don't know if I should drink. I mean, what if my breath still smells like beer after we leave? You know my mom's a pro at smelling things off my breath. You think I can get pop and chips passed her. I was lucky today she didn't check up on me. When you knocked, I thought it was her and freaked out, trying to hide my stash!" I screeched, feeling my face heat up for reasons unrelated to the Floridian weather system.

Calm down and breathe slowly! I ordered myself, on the verge of dropping to ground, hyperventilating.

Her shoulder bumped into mine. "Calm down! You dramatic princess. You don't have to drink if you don't want to. Just go with it and be comfortable. Do what you feel is right."

"Okay, okay, I'm good – I'm cool." I reassured her.

Stressed Annabelle was gone....for now.

Jenna snorted, linking her arm through mine, dragging me faster. "Sure, I'll believe that when I see it. We've got to hurry. It's going to take twenty minutes to get to Peter's house."

I sighed, matching her pace.

A senior class party....who would have thought.

*~*~*

Unfortunately, the twenty minutes it took to get to Peter's brought me momentarily back to square one. Jenna noticed as I stalled on the sidewalk, trying to control my nervous breathing.

What if James was already there....with Donna!

"Can you please stop!" Jenna belted, clearly annoyed. "Stop trying to convince yourself that this is a bad idea. It's going to be a great night."

"It's going to be a great night!" I repeated, matching her optimism, even though it was forced. "It's going to be a great night!"

"That's right." Jenna said. "And if we see douchebag James, you're going to ignore him, right?"

"Right!" I answered.

I hoped I could.

I really hoped that I could.

We turned the corner to Peter's block and heard faint sounds of dance music. Jenna started moving her body to the dimmed beats enthusiastically.

"I hope some of the others are there too!" she said excitedly, moving her shoulders to each beat. During our walk, Jenna informed me that her swim team members were going to the party as well. "We're going to dance the night away!"

Dancing? I imagined my larger than average frame busting a move in front of our fellow classmates. It didn't look good as I imagined it. In fact, it was horrendous. She let go of my arm and skipped across the sidewalk.

I stopped walking. "Dancing Jenna? That's a scary thought."

She stopped skipping and faced me, stretching her arm out towards Peter's wide ranch style house. "Anna, dancing is about having fun and letting loose. There's nothing scary about it, well not unless you're in an auditorium filled with judges. It's only a high school party. Most of the kids there are getting drunk as we speak, they won't notice us."

I snorted. "Yeah, how about you try dancing when you have parts of your body moving without your say so, then we'll talk about throwing caution to the wind and letting go!"

"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that." she whispered, crossing her arms for a few seconds before dropping them angrily. "You know what! Screw that! I will acknowledge what you just said. Anna, the body you talk about doesn't exist anymore. You lost weight last summer. Accept that! There will be no more body parts moving without your say so. They do so only at your command. Can't you see that now? Get to it girl!"

"As always, your inspirational speeches on self discovery does wonders for my self esteem." I cringed. "In perfect timing, as we are about to enter a party, with boys."

"And boys don't like self doubting girls. They want confidence. They want swagger and attitude. And I agree, it is perfect timing. We need every ounce of courage before we enter that high voltage hormone filled party." Jenna remarked, eyeing the house that already had a few of our fellow seniors staggering around on one foot.

The night had already begun for some.

"Hormone filled and extremely contagious?" I told her as we slowly walked towards the driveway.

"There's nothing I would want more!" Jenna grinned, moving her shoulders to the growing sounds of Hip Hop music. "It's time to let loose and do as the senior class of Royal Heights High are doing right now. Getting drunk and getting crunk!"

"God!" I hissed, embarrassed for her. "I can't believe you said crunk. Who says crunk anymore?"

She laughed me off as we entered into official party territory. The driveway was long and wide. Our fellow party patrons filled bits in small groups, probably discussing the validity of tonight's refreshments with how well they could walk a straight line. I'm guessing the more they stumbled, the more they believed the punch they poured into those red plastic cups earlier.

"Is there like a spiked punch inside?" I yelled over the loud music as we walked around the groups. She cringed, jerking her head back.

"Why are you screaming?" She yelled, caressing her violated ear. "I'm not deaf you know!"

"I'll yell at you all I want!" I told her back, matching the attitude. "The music's so loud I didn't think your messed up ears could hear me, you know with you being a swimmer and all. I'm sure you've got a hearing aid in your future!"

"Bitch, you better take that back. How dare you mock a swimmer's life. Do you even understand that kind of dedication?" Jenna said, clearly not angry by the twinkle in her eyes.

I was kidding and she knew it. Like I'd ever mock the sport she loved seriously.

I had the rest of my life to live.

A few feet away from the entrance, I could already picture the house filled with loud and obnoxious kids our age. Throwing their bodies around as if it were an actual sport, to see who was the loudest, the baddest, the wildest, and the life of the party.

None of which were me. Probably didn't even have it in me to compete. Not at that level at least.

We stood in-between the threshold and took in the massive room for a few seconds. The music was loud enough to break windows and it seemed like our entire class showed up tonight. Peter's grand salon was dressed up like a night club, with dimmed lights and a huge crowd of dancers in the center, busting moves as if their lives depended on it.

I didn't see anyone not having fun. For the first time in my life, I was a part of the experience like everyone else was. I wasn't trapped at home in my room gorging on chocolate all by myself, unlike everyone else.

Jenna grabbed my arm. "Let's do this!"

She pulled me through the open doorway, throwing us into the senior frenzy, soup style. My jaw dropped at the massive amount of people that were really crammed inside.

Girls in small dresses, boys in oversized sports jerseys, mixed in with the rest of us regular folk that were dressed in jeans and simple tops. The only difference was I wore sensible shoes as most of the other girls that surrounded the front were wearing high heels. I glanced down at Jenna's sensible slide on sneakers on route to my black Chucks.

We thought alike.

She was obviously smart. But to be safe we should probably steer clear of the potential foot assassinators.

I didn't get rides to school in the morning. I needed my feet working. "Let's get away from the stampede of foot annihilator's!" I yelled over the music to Jenna. She nodded in agreement and pulled me through the crowd, around the dance floor.

"Keep your eyes out for anyone we know, okay!" Jenna said, guiding me across the room. I searched the room, trying to pinpoint any familiar group we knew, but came with no such luck. I knew of the people that surrounded me, but not enough to stop and have a conversation.

The number of people that I actually spoke with at school was a small number, and I wasn't sure if that was healthy anymore, considering the size of our class.

Jenna quickly pinpointed her fellow swim team members huddled in a corner near the refreshment table and quickly ushered us to them. I took in the entire room again, settling on the dance floor for a few seconds extra, mesmerized by the flailing arms and legs.

My first high school party....at seventeen. I broke the transfixed gaze, looking back at Jenna who was busy hugging her other friends and laughing loudly. Watching them exude excitement with one another made me feel numb all over. She had another life, one that didn't involve me.

Where was I when all this happened?

Had I been asleep for the last three years?

My shoulder jerked wildly. "Snap out of it!" Jenna screeched next to my ear. Before I could give her a nasty scowl, she shoved a red plastic cup into my hands. I grasped it tightly to my chest, the red liquid inside sloshing dangerously close to the rim.

She took a sip out of her cup before ordering me to. "Drink!" She mouthed, barely audible over the music. I drank the red liquid and it slid down my throat, leaving a weird tangy aftertaste. I stuck out my tongue and a disgusted moan followed.

Jenna eyed her friends knowingly and they all burst out laughing. "What is that?" I yelled, holding the cup away as if it were poison.

"Special Punch!" Jenna laughed. She grabbed my arm and pushed it back to my body. "Drink more. You'll feel more relaxed."

Did she really go to parties without me? How? I tried remembering a time when I didn't know what Jenna was up to during a weekend night. The last few months, there were a few blank spots I couldn't remember knowing what she'd been up to.

"Anna!" Jenna screamed excitedly from behind, tapping my shoulder. "We're going to dance, let's go!"

Before heading towards the dance floor, they slammed the rest of their drinks back and dumped the empty cups into the trash. I'd never danced in public before and that scared me. "I'm still thirsty. I'm going to finish my drink. I'll join you guys later!" I yelled over the music, holding my drink up, hoping she'd believe me.

"Finish your drink," Jenna's eyes narrowed, unconvinced. "And then get your ass on the dance floor. If I don't see you in a few minutes, you're shark bait!"

My eyes rolled at her tone. Bitch whatever!

"Yeah okay!" I assured her, reluctantly taking another sip of the punch.

What if I got drunk?

I'd never been drunk. Tonight wasn't really the night I hoped to have that first, especially if James was going to show up with Donna.

Ugh! Donna and James. Why? How? I couldn't believe I came, knowing that they were going to be here, probably up in each other's arms kissing. Making loud grunt noises, dry humping as they danced, probably thinking they were the King and Queen of this party.

What the hell was I then?

The King's mistress and the Court Gesture?

My roles included keeping the King happy, however he saw fit. While alongside his main lady (Donna), my duty was to provide comedy for them while they basked in the pleasures of a feast with their closest allies.

Damn it! I knew this party was a bad idea.

How did I let Jenna talk me into going?

It was a trap.

I walked into a trap!

And as if it were fate, a loud and obnoxious animal noise echoed through the room, ostentatiously overriding the music. Incredibly nervous, I took another swing of my punch, the sour taste distracting me from the loud barbaric noises that continued to rattle loudly.

They were excited. Taking a deep breath, I turned and faced the animal calls to see who it was.

I lowered my gaze instantly, immediately wishing I'd never turned.

I shouldn't have turned.

I should have stayed with my back to that part of the party.

It would have been for the best.

I could have just walked on without a worry. Now I was faced with a dilemma, one that my heart currently pounded at a mile a second for, ripping against my chest. My heart clearly wanted out of the misery that was my body.

The body that still ached for his touch again.

James.

He was here.

Gulping, I gazed back at the entrance.

Wearing a backwards Baseball cap, a fitted black t-shirt and dark blue jeans that looked like they were made for his long muscular legs, he stood with his crew of backward Baseball caps. They were true Baseball fans as well as the schools shining stars, the Royal Heights High School Baseball team.

Cue the applause, royalty had arrived.

Kings I say.

I wasn't the only one who thought this. They acted like they were, and my fellow classmates seemed to agree. The crowd parted for the overly confident, overly arrogant leaders as they made their way down into the dance floor. Making matter's worse, like in an 'I can't believe it could get worse' kind of way, girly screams rippled through the entire room as if it were a tangible vibration.

Whatever it was, my punch swirled in rapids because of it.

Ugh, can you say too much! I glanced at the evil suspects, a group of floundering females, twisting and twirling through the crowded center. It was as if they were zombie bees lusting after the nectar of a flower that would keep them alive.

Guess who played the flower?

Girls and their boys, was there actually a way for them to behave like ladies when their so called men entered into their zones? I didn't think they needed to scream like crazy hyena's, disrupting every single person's ability to hear.

Any more screams from those screeching lunatics, and I'd be lucky not to be in line for a hearing aid by the end of the year.

God I'm bitter! I stared at the growing crowd, as the mixture of bright pink and violet dressed piranhas stalked quickly to the apple of their eyes.

Other girls...beware....these boys were off limits.

The Kings of the party had finally arrived.

Finally!

Now why couldn't I share that sentiment? Oh yeah, I know why, maybe because I was screwed over by one of them.

So screw them and screw him. I mean James, screw him.

Not literally though, he's lost those privileges from me for life. This girl wasn't going to share anymore kisses with that fool.

That liar!

Once in close proximity to James, Donna burst out of the hot girl cocoon she hid in while traveling through the crowded dance floor. It was as if they were a rose blooming in the spring, but Donna was the entire Rose and the other girls were just the leafy stems.

God!

Why were her girls always playing second fiddle to her? They were the clam, and she would always be the pearl.

And there you go, life explained.

Both groups collided, intermixing. They shuffled together through the dance floor, oblivious of the commotion and disturbance they were causing. They laughed loudly, expressing their joy of the positions in life they were in.

The sliding door to the backyard opened, and the entire King and Queen group laughed loudly walking out.

It was all a blur. I didn't even know what I'd just saw.

A collage of overconfident douchebags walked in like they owned the room. There, I explained it.

It was a group that I didn't want to be a part of and wouldn't have to be, all thanks to James and his way of doing things.

You know the slimy way! Looking away, I put on my ignore face as if to say 'I don't know you', 'or you'.

Ignoring the pain in my chest, it was time to forget and move on. I needed to convince myself that seeing Donna gallop happily towards James wouldn't plague my dreams and thoughts for the next while.

I had too!

Or else I was going to be stuck in this betrayed love sick state for the rest of my life.

I took another sip of punch, hoping the alcohol could do something about my nerves. As the liquid hit my tongue, I cringed again. I didn't know how many sips it was going to take for me to get used to the sour, sugary, bitter taste of it.

"Oh God, I thought I was the only one!" An unfamiliar voice exclaimed beside me.

I jerked in shock, the loud voice taking me by surprise. I looked up finding a tall boy standing beside me, holding the same red plastic cup with a similar expression on his face.

Disgusted?

His eyes twinkled once they connected with mine and his nice puffy lips spread into a smile. "I can see you don't like it either!"

Talk Annabelle! Cute guy alert! Talk! I ordered myself.

I cleared my throat. "Ugh yeah! It wasn't what I expected."

"What did you expect it to be like?" He grinned. He wasn't as tall as James, but he was still tall. His hair was dark blonde, smoothed back.

His eyes were blue. I liked blue. I really liked blue.

Not as much as green, but that was okay, blue was good.

I could do blue.

Easily.

"I thought it was going to be like a standard punch, fruity and sweet." I told him, laughing. "Do you know what it is?"

His eyes twinkled again as his smile grew wider. He had nice teeth too. "Well I think I agree with you, it is punch, but fruity and sweet, that's an obvious no!"

"Kool-Aid?" I offered as a possibility for the weird concoction. He nodded as if it could have been a possibility.

"Yeah, that's what I thought it was. I was like, I know this taste. I've tasted this before. I just couldn't remember it because the last time I had Kool-Aid was when I was a kid!" He tilted his head back and laughed.

I stared at his body as he laughed.

God, I was a horny devil. Why couldn't I just focus on their personality's first, then their bodies. Then, if they turned out to be assholes, I could walk away without any worries of lusting after them. I wished I could follow through with that logic, but instead I was repeatedly doing the wrong thing. Why else would I have welcomed James so easily back on to my lips in the library today, when he didn't deserve it?

I have problems.

Seriously.

"Yeah, Kool-Aid but there's something else, something I can't name." I told him, giving a toothy smile which he seemed to enjoy. He shuffled his body closer to mine as the people around us crowded the space up.

"I think it's spiked." He leaned in, whispering as if it were a scandalous secret. I laughed out loud as he wagged his eyebrows playfully. "Wanna get drunk?"

I laughed again. "I don't even know your name?"

I wouldn't be making that mistake again. I was going to know the name of the person first before having a conversation with them.

"Dean." he answered, stretching out a hand. "What's yours?"

"Annabelle, but you can call me Anna." I told him, shaking his warm hand. "Do you go to Royal Heights? I don't think I've seen you before?"

He shook his head, not letting go of my hand. "No, I go to Pleasant View High with Peter's cousin, that's how I found out about the party."

"Pleasant View, that's cool." I smiled at him, pulling my hand away from his firm grasp. "Do you like it there?"

"I do, but now that I think about it, I think I'd be happier at Royal Heights." Dean grinned, looking into my eyes.

Oh my God!

Was this flirting? Were we flirting?

Oh my goodness, I was being flirted with and not in an asshole kind of way, but in an honest, nice, old school, how a gentleman would treat a lady kind of way.

So this is what it was supposed to be like.

Being swept off your feet.

James who?

I turned away, feeling my face heat up. After a second to catch my breath, I slowly gazed back at him. "Would you now, how so? What made you change your mind about schools so quickly?"

Dean leaned in again, starring deeper into my eyes. "Sometimes fate has a way of doing things that completely knocks you off your feet. I'm kind of having one of those fate moments."

"One of those moments, a moment that's happening right now?" I leaned towards him, holding the red cup to my chest.

"Maybe." he whispered and then looked away at the dance floor for a second, then back at me. "Anna, you wanna dance?"

I looked at the dance floor and the worry that usually followed was no more. Instead, it was replaced with the excitement of having a new experience. I'd never danced with a guy before.

What about the horizontal dance you did with James?

Making out with James on his bed did not count as dancing, whatever it was.

This.....was going to be harmless fun.

Dancing! I gulped once and gazed back at an apprehensive looking Dean. "Yeah, I'd love to dance with you Dean." I nodded and his worried face melted into pure delight.

Dean held out his hand and amazingly, without skipping a beat, I took it. The warmth from his skin made me feel dizzy and lightheaded as tiny bubbles exploded in the pit of my stomach. He took our cups and threw them in the trash.

So this is what real attraction felt like. When a guy really liked you, he wouldn't be afraid to show it. Dean had acted quickly. I'd been a fool all this time, thinking whatever it was that James was doing was even remotely close to representing being liked.

Being harassed, used then ignored was not a recipe for being liked. I was invited to dance at a party, where I was once too scared to even participate in.

I was a changed girl...no scratch that, a changed woman.

Dean led me to the dance floor and the dance track changed into a slow R and B slow jam. Noticing the alarm in my eyes, Dean stopped and faced me. "Is this okay?"

I looked around the dance floor and everyone was quickly partnering up. I didn't have to worry about James and his crew since they were outside for the time being. I searched for Jenna and her friends, catching the back of them as they made their way off the dancing area and towards the refreshment table. I faced Dean again and using every ounce of courage I had, I nodded.

Then it was as if it were all happening in slow motion. Dean stepped into my embrace and pulled both my hands around his neck, then placed his arms around my waist. "Is this okay?" he murmured, looking deep into my eyes, not smiling.

I nodded, transfixed by his stare. I followed his lead and we moved slowly to the music. I looked away off the dance floor and caught Jenna's eye. Her jaw dropped when she realized what I was doing. She smiled widely, giving me a thumbs up. Dean tightened his hold around my waist and I looked back at him.

I giggled nervously. "This is...I don't know."

Dean grinned. "It's nice. I think it's nice." he murmured sweetly.

"I think it's nice too." I murmured back.

"You're cute you know that." Dean said softly. "Of course you know it, how could you not."

I blinked a few times at his candor, or what I hoped was his candor, he could be lying. I hoped he wasn't lying. "Thanks." I murmured. Feeling brave all of a sudden, I blurted out. "Um, you're cute too."

I could feel the heat in my cheeks rise a few notches. There was no way my cheeks weren't red. I instantly looked away.

I'd never been this honest with a guy.

Even with James.

Dean grinned, liking what he'd heard. He tightened his grip around my waist again, pulling me closer to his body. "You have no idea how good hearing that makes me feel. Thanks baby."

Baby?

Nobody called me that but James. Wait, what? Screw James, hello Dean! I smiled back, tightening my arms around his neck, pulling my body closer to his, feeling his hard body now.

"Do you play sports?" I asked out of nowhere. His face lightened up.

"Yeah, I play." he stated.

"Well?" I asked impatiently. "What sport?"

He smiled big, showcasing all his teeth. He had a great smile.

"Baseball." he replied breathily. "I'm a pitcher."

My eyes widened at Baseball. Not another one!

What was going on? Was there something about me that attracted a certain athletic group? Okay two guys didn't mean anything. It was merely just a coincidence that for the first time in my life, having the attention of two cute guys, they'd just happened to play Baseball.

But James didn't pitch, he batted. So there you go, the difference.

"Are you a batter too?" I asked him. I knew jack shit about Baseball, just the bare minimum.

"Nah, when I played during freshman year, I batted in a few games, but my strengths lay better in pitching." he explained.

"Are you the star pitcher at your school?" I asked him and was awarded with a prize winning smile.

And here we go again.

Hello Mr. Arrogance...number two!

"But of course." he replied as any champion would, with power and confidence. He knew who he was. So here's where I was getting confused, and I had hoped I wouldn't do this to myself, but what the hell was he doing here with me if he was a champion? Clearly a champion would want to be dancing the night away with a girl equivalent of a prize.

Was I a prize?

My gut reaction, my first instinct, I wasn't one. Damn it, I wished I could boast myself up, grow my ego, pretend even. But I couldn't, I couldn't look at myself in the mirror and say 'you're worthy of dancing with a champion'.

So this had to end.

I tightened my hold around his neck and he quickly replicated that action around my waist. I was going savor every second of this moment and when the song finished, I was going to let go.

"This was nice." I told him softly. His blue eyes peered into mine, making my insides melt.

Oh why?

Why did it have to end?

It just began.

For once in my life, why couldn't I just let go and let things happen without worrying about the repercussions? I knew the answer to that, because I had let go. I let go at lunch today and ended up feeling the lowest I'd ever felt.

Feeling used and dissed.

Left high and dry.

Dined and dashed.

It was a message from the universe, stop trusting cute Baseball players, they're just going to treat you like garbage, but disguise it as something else.

I wasn't going to be blind anymore. I wasn't going to allow someone to confuse me or play with my emotions as if I didn't have any.

Not anymore.

There were no more plans of any junk food binges, so there had to be no more stupid mistakes. That meant in less than thirty seconds, me and Dean Baseball player, pitcher extraordinaire, had to say goodbye forever.

God, I was dramatic!

The beautiful feeling of being in his arms had to go away. I had to prepare my body with less than twenty seconds to go.

First things first, stop staring into his beautiful blue eyes.

Check.

Fifteen seconds.

Next, move my body a few inches away from his. I felt my body grow cold instantly without his heat.

Check.

Ten seconds.

Next, loosen the hold I have over his neck. I loosened the hold and I could feel his eyes on me, questioning my movements. "Everything okay?" he murmured.

"Yeah, everything's cool." I said, glancing around the room, anywhere but his eyes.

Five seconds.

My hands moved down, no longer holding his neck. They clasped his shoulder for the last seconds of the song.

One second.

The song finished, quickly morphing into a dance track. Couples around us broke apart and started dancing wildly to the new track. I let go of Dean's shoulder and he loosened his grip around my waist, and I reluctantly stepped out of his embrace. I looked up at him and his forehead creased, his eyes reading confusion. We were having such a good time, something was clearly clicking between us, but then something happened and everything changed. That something was my brain, my mind, my common sense, my wisdom from past experience. I was a changed girl who had no intention of following in my previous footsteps of shame and foolishness.

He'd understand soon enough that I wasn't the girl for him, moving on to a finer piece of ass who could proudly dance beside him, stand beside him as the worthy prize to his champion like stature.

But not me.

"Thanks for the dance, it was nice." I murmured softly and walked away off the dance floor towards Jenna, leaving Dean by himself, dumbfounded and frozen. At least I hoped he was dumbfounded and frozen. I was almost in the home stretch, just having to bypass a few dancing duo's before making my way back to Jenna's safe haven.

But I was clearly out of all luck, because my foot stumbled abruptly across the carpet and I went tumbling down with my eyes closing from the surprise. Something strange happened, because I didn't feel the floor. What I did feel, was a pair of hands strongly gripping both of my arms instead. I opened my eyes, relieved that the embarrassing scene was diverted, all thanks to a hero. I grabbed the strong hands holding me still and looked up at my hero's face, ready to declare my ever loving thanks for saving me from a moment I wouldn't be able to forget for a while.

All I saw was green eyes, beautiful soft green eyes. Green eyes that soon became hard and full of fury once I realized whose they were.

James!

Thanks for reading Chapter 1 and 2 of THE TRUTH ABOUT JAMES
Check out the next books in the Young Annabelle Series

THE TRUTH ABOUT JAMES

(Y.A SERIES BOOK 2)

WHAT MY HEART WANTS

(Y.A SERIES BOOK 3)

YOU'RE WHAT I WANT

(Y.A SERIES BOOK 4)

DON'T STOP HOLDING ME

(Y.A SERIES BOOK 5)

IT'S ME AND YOU

(Y.A SERIES BOOK 6)

### About the Author

### Sarah Tork.

I live in Canada. I'm a 1985 baby and have been writing stories ever since I could hold a pen. I love pens. I love notebooks. I love books. The preferred reaction to my work would be happiness. Here's hoping I can pull it off.

You can contact me on Facebook if you have any questions.

https://www.facebook.com/authorsarahtork

