Since some months 
I don't go out anymore
I've finally found what I need
No more parties 
Where we all end up drunk
And no more video games
I stay warm at home
Watching Columbo
With my chick
I don't need anything
I eat my soup
And it's party time
I got the feeling
That I'm another man
Since I've sex with Susan Boyle
More than a fantasy
More than an idol
I've sex with Susan Boyle
I love her eyes
I love her teeth
She lends me it 
From time to time
She introduced me to her children
They're as old as my parents
Now that I've known
This incongruous experience
I don't look at the other girls anymore
I only dream about fat rolls and little wrinkled thighs 
About lime tea or camomile
It's like a good wine
As time goes by
It gets divine
It's like adding some camembert 
On your bread
Like people collect antique cars
I've sex with Susan Boyle
I watch out for cholesterol
Since I sleep with Susan Boyle
It is not sex we do in bed
It is archaeology 
The most exciting time 
With Susie
Is maybe when she gets dressed again
Some guys would need alcohol
To have sex with Susan Boyle
But me, I whisper in her hearing aid
"As I love you Susan Boyle"
In every club she's a VIP
Chess and rummy clubs
I'm scared she leaves me
My Susie
Not scared she breaks up
But that she loses her life 
