

SUPERKID

Published at Smashwords by A. E. Lucky

Copyright 2013 A. E. Lucky

# Issue #1: Part 1: Who is Superkid?

Who is Superkid, you dare to ask? Hmph, I suppose that's a fair question, considering the number of big-shot superheroes running around the place. It's enough to make even the most devoted fanboy's head swim! That's why I'm dedicating an entire issue to introducing to you the greatest superhero to ever walk the earth: Superkid.

This incredible crime-fighter is twelve years old... why's your mouth open? You didn't think a hero could be that young? Well, yeah. Why else do you think his name is Superkid? But don't think that just because he's still in grade school he can't serve up a steaming plate of justice! If you want to catch this diminutive hero in action, just watch for a kid in an orange and yellow suit with a blazing gold K on both his chest and cape.

His superpowers? Oh, um... well, about that... you see, the only power he possesses is to... control the temperature of his breath.

Not all that exciting, I know, but beggars can't be choosers. At least that potion didn't poison him as Doctor Red concocted it to do.

Who? Dr. Red? Oh, he's a bad guy. I'll explain in Issue #3.

Now Superkid's got the strangest secret. The strangest thing about him is... well... you know how all the heroes have a secret identity that nobody but they know? Well, prepare yourself! Don't complain to me if you don't think it makes sense. But Superkid has a secret identity that everyone knows _but himself_!

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. _What do you mean he has a secret identity that everybody knows but him? If everyone knows then it's not a secret! And how is he supposed to keep it a secret from himself? That's absurd! How is that even possible?_

Well, now that you've fallen into my narrative trap, allow me to explain in this next chapter...

# Issue #1: Part 2: How Did He Come to Be?

Now that you know who he is, it's time for me to introduce you to his "mild mannered" side—the, uh, secret identity of his I told you about. And what better way to introduce him than to observe him on a typical day in his hometown of Poolington—a quaint little town about six blocks wide and twelve blocks long and situated in the middle of nowhere.

On this typical day, we find our youthful vigilante in his current "mild-mannered" persona, Aaron P. Purn, hanging out with his two best friends, Darrin E. Snoll and Derrick R. Moorn. Darrin is a stocky kid with blond hair and green eyes. Derrick is a twig of a kid with a crow's nest for hair and shifty brown eyes—an unfortunate combination that gives him a face that only a mother could love. How he got to be friends with Aaron and Darrin is a mystery that confounds me still. And don't worry if you confuse Aaron's friends with each other—I do it all the time!

Hang on, where was I? Oh yeah, so our young friend was hanging out with his two friends and wandering about the neighborhood. They wandered to the Poolington Mart to watch the truckers haul this week's stock. Then they wandered to the Poolington Post Office to watch the employees sort mail. After that they wandered to the Poolington Museum to watch dinosaur fossils gather dust.

That's right, folks. A typical day for the mild-mannered Aaron Purn of the town of Poolington.

It was at this point in this typical day that our hero Aaron decided to take initiative and go against the typical with these inspiring words: "I'm bored."

Inspiring words indeed, which is what inspired evil grins to spread slowly on Darrin and Derrick's faces.

"Me too," Darrin agreed. Then he brightened. "Hey, I have an idea! Why don't we go see Terrence's tarantula?"

Aaron's face darkened. "That isn't what I had in mind."

Derrick pretended not to hear him. "Great idea! And let's ask him if we can hold it!"

Aaron shuddered.

Darrin nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, but be careful because if it doesn't like you, it bites!"

Aaron subconsciously ran his hand over his arm.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Derrick cried, grinning at Aaron. "Let's go see that big, hairy, sharp-fanged, eight-legged crawler!" He crooked his fingers and waggled them in Aaron's face. Aaron scowled.

I guess I should confess here: I haven't been really straight with you. While it's true that Superkid was a fearless crime-fighter, his alter ego, Aaron Purn, was... well... a chicken.

He was afraid of everything! Spiders, dogs, cats, heights, small spaces, horror movies, you name it! I could go on and on! But then you'd probably get bored and go read something else that didn't ramble on about the fears of a soon-to-be superhero. But "soon-to-be" is the key phrase here, so hang tight. We'll get there.

But now you know that this expedition to go look at Terrence's pet tarantula didn't sit well with our, uh, timorous friend. But since Darrin and Derrick were such great friends, they immediately veered for Terrence's house. And Aaron had no choice but to follow, swatting at every imaginary crawl of his skin.

Terrence was more than eager to show off his tarantula, especially when he saw Aaron shuffling his feet behind Derrick and Darrin.

"Just make sure he doesn't escape," he said as he passed it to Derrick. "Mom would kill me if he did. She's scared of him."

Darrin snickered. "What a coincidence. So is Aaron."

Unfortunately, Aaron was not in a state of mind to give a snappy retort, busy as he was keeping his distance from the hairy arachnid.

The tarantula waved its legs in the air in a futile struggle to escape from Derrick's grip. With an obnoxious grin, Derrick swung it around to Aaron and thrust the hairy creeper into his face. The future hero jumped back with a yelp only to trip backwards onto the floor.

Darrin, Derrick, and Terrence all laughed. To carry the joke further, Derrick stepped over the fallen Aaron and dangled the spider over him.

Aaron panicked, rolling into Derrick's leg. Derrick flailed his arm for balance, accidentally tossing the tarantula into Darrin's face instead.

"Hey!" Darrin cried and swiped it off. The tarantula hit the floor with a thud.

"Hey!" Terrence echoed and then added, "my tarantula is escaping!"

And so it was. The poor thing had been mishandled one too many times, so it crawled as fast as it could under the bookcase, away from Terrence's groping fingers.

"Oh great!" He threw up his hands angrily. "Now my mom's going to kill me!"

The three of them spent the next five minutes trying to catch the tarantula but with no success. When they couldn't reach under the bookcase, they tried to move it, but this caused books to cascade onto Derrick. This was the closest he had come to literature since school had let out for spring break. Aaron was on the couch with his feet up, keeping an eye on the bookcase in case the little creeper came out and decided to go for him. But fortunately for him he wasn't tasty enough for the tarantula to risk getting caught by his friends.

Terrence was not too happy. "My mom is going to kill me," he said emphatically. "How am I going to get him back?"

"Maybe we could set out bait?" Derrick suggested timidly.

"What do tarantulas eat?" Darrin asked curiously.

"We—uh—we could—uh—use Aaron as bait!" Derrick exclaimed, trying to make light of the situation. "I'm sure your tarantula would like him."

To his surprise, this did actually make Terrence laugh, which eased the tension between the three of them. It wasn't all that helpful for Aaron though, who was feeling a little murderous at this point. But Darrin, Derrick, and Terrence weren't too worried. After all, when did this sort of thing ever go wrong somewhere down the road?

Unaware of the potential tragedy they were setting the stage for (or ironic turn of events as the case may be), the three friends continued to joke and laugh at our poor friend's expense. It wasn't long before Terrence was feeling humored enough to tell Darrin and Derrick about the party he was having that night. A scary movie party to be exact. Just the sort of party meant to target Aaron as the butt of jokes. And what else did his good friends do but take every shot that they could.

"All the lights will be turned off," said Terrence to Aaron in a low voice.

Aaron huffed irritably.

"And the only thing you'll see is the ugly, slimy monster coming at you on the TV screen," Darrin added with a spooky grin.

"Cut it out," Aaron grumbled, much too quietly for them to hear.

"While behind you is black darkness where other monsters wait to GRAB you!" Derrick shouted, grabbing Aaron's shoulders for maximum effect. Aaron yelped and then growled loudly as the three of them doubled over in laughter.

Eventually Aaron, Darrin, and Derrick left Terrence's house for home. After they saw Derrick to his house, Darrin turned to Aaron and said with a teasing grin, "Do you want me to walk home with you? So that nothing gets you?"

"It would be a great opportunity to get rid of you without any witnesses," Aaron growled.

Darrin didn't hear the comment. He was too busy chortling over his own joke. Aaron was relieved when they finally reached Darrin's house and Darrin left him on his own. Aaron scowled at Darrin's house for a while before he finally tucked his hands into his pockets and slouched for home.

Now I mentioned that the stage was being set up for a possible tragedy. But this story much prefers irony over tragedy, so this was when fate intervened to turn things around for this poor kid. And one of fate's agents just so happened to be lurking nearby...

He had watched the trio. Since they had left Terrence's house he had watched them. He had waited while Derrick had gone into his house. He had waited while Darrin had gone into his house. Now Aaron was alone. Now the mysterious agent of fate could make his move...

He slipped out of the shadow of a lamppost (agents of fate are resourceful that way) and crossed the street toward Aaron. He slipped into step behind our timorous friend, bowing his head and tucking his hands into his gray overcoat, looking to all the world like a normal man going about his business.

But Aaron heard the man's steps behind him. He stopped and turned.

The stranger walked up to him, stretched out his hand, and said pleasantly, "How are you?"

A little taken aback, Aaron accepted the hand and replied, "Good."

"Oh you say that," responded the stranger in the same pleasant voice. "But really, how are you?"

"Why's that your business?" Aaron asked, trying to sound polite yet was wary all the same.

"Well," said the mysterious man, "I've noticed how those two friends of yours teased you about being a scaredy-cat. And I wondered if this was a common thing?"

Aaron jerked his head up and fixed the man with a suspicious glare. "Have you been spying on me?"

"Heavens no!" exclaimed the man, sounding genuinely surprised—to Aaron, of course. You may remember that he was watching Aaron since he and his friends had left Terrence's house.

But Aaron didn't know that. He only had his own observations to rely on to determine if the man was lying or not, and unfortunately he was not a skilled lie detector. As a result, he took the mysterious man's word for it. He nodded and told the stranger, "Yeah, they like to tease me for my... timidity."

This mysterious agent of fate nodded sadly. "A pity they don't show you more respect. You are obviously quite intelligent."

"Sure. I suppose," said Aaron, who couldn't help but feel flattered.

They continued to walk. The mysterious stranger allowed him a few moments to bask in the praise. Then he suddenly stopped, turned to the twelve-year-old, and said, "How would you like to prove them wrong?"

Aaron stopped in surprise. "What?"

"How would you like to show them you're not a scaredy-cat? Show them you're more fearless than they think you are? That you're more fearless than they are?"

Aaron would have loved nothing more than that. He would have loved to see Darrin and Derrick's mouths drop open when they saw him doing things they would never dare to do: exploring the sewers of Poolington where the fabled giant sewer eel lived, scaling the Fat Ballerina Rock that stood just outside town, taking on the town bully, Hector Vower! But...

"How am I going to do that?"

The man said carefully as though afraid his words would set off alarms, "I would need to hypnotize you."

Our young friend was stunned. He thought it was going to be the usual grown-up advice. You know, the, "You've got to work at it and never give up" speech. But here was this friendly albeit mysterious stranger offering him a shortcut. A miracle cure!

But hold on, folks. Our young friend wasn't that stupid and naïve. And certainly not that desperate. With that gift of intelligence he was endowed with, he grasped at reason and asked skeptically, "Hypnotize? Wouldn't you have control of me? You could make me do things I don't want to do."

"Actually," said the stranger with a friendly smile, "that's somewhat of a misconception. While it's true that I could suggest actions you should take while in your subconscious state, the truth is that I cannot force you to do anything that you morally will not do—robbing banks, for example."

"Okay," said Aaron, not wholly convinced. "So you can make me fearless. Is there something you want me to do for you?"

"Not at all." The stranger beamed innocently.

The youth studied the man's face. He seemed trustworthy but something still bothered Aaron.

"Why would you do this for me?" he asked.

The mysterious stranger placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder and said, "I understand you're suspicious. The truth is I want to help because I know what it's like to be taunted relentlessly—by your friends, no less. I know I sometimes wished that some guardian angel would come down and make my problems disappear. I guess now I feel that's a chance I can give to someone else—it's a sort of obligation. And I want to help you stop them from teasing you so much. I want to help you rub it in your friends' faces."

The mysterious stranger stared into Aaron's eyes as he spoke. Aaron looked back and found a strange pull from the enigmatic man's eyes—one rich brown eye and one smoky gray eye—that siphoned all of his concerns from him... And our young friend knew that he could trust this man. This man really wanted to help him. It would hurt this man's feelings if he didn't let the man help him. Besides, it was something he wanted...

Slowly, Aaron nodded. "...Okay."

"Excellent!" the stranger exclaimed, snapping the twelve-year-old out of a daze. "Shall we begin?"

Aaron was startled at the direction things had taken. "Uh, sure."

"Okay," the man said. He deepened his voice and spoke mesmerizingly, "Look into my eyes."

Aaron did as he was told. The last thing he remembered before his mind disconnected with his body was the man's peculiar eyes pulsing ever so subtly... then he was gone.

At this point we probably should be concerned for our hero. A mysterious stranger that Aaron had never met before in his life—the sort of person all mothers warn their children about with great emphasis—had him under his hypnotic control and could now make him do some terrible things like squawking like a chicken! But as neither you the reader nor I the narrator can do anything for him, the best we can do is wait and see what happens.

The man spoke in his mesmerizing voice, "You will become fearless..."

"Fearless..." Aaron repeated dully.

"You will know no such thing as fear..."

"No such thing..."

"You will not feel fear even when confronted with the most horrifying, terrifying, petrifying monster!"

"Petrifying..." Aaron said with no emotion.

"Spiders will not scare you... dogs will not scare you... cats, heights, small spaces, the dark, haunted houses, horror books, horror movies, tax forms—NOTHING will scare you!"

"Nothing..."

"And you will be this fearless person when you hear the name..." The hypnotist cast his mind for a good name. But as the time stretched and nothing truly inspiring came to mind, he finally decided with as much gusto as he could muster, "Superkid!"

"Superkid...?" Aaron almost asked in his subconscious state.

"Yes, Superkid," the mysterious hypnotist said emphatically and then cleared his throat. "And you will only return to your former self when you hear your own name..." He searched his memory for the name but it seemed that day was not a good day for names. He was relieved when he finally remembered and burst out, "Aaron!"

"My name..." echoed our hero.

The hypnotist smiled. "Now, when I say, 'Superkid' you will become fearless, understand? Ready?"

As ready as a half-conscious person could be.

The enigmatic hypnotist took a breath. "One... two... three..."

Whoa, hold on there, buddy! All studies show that oxygen is actually quite good for you, so take a few breaths there. You breathing? Okay, just keep that up and we'll get through the rest of this issue. He survives, I promise you. Okay, back to the story.

In a dramatic intake of breath, the hypnotist counted slowly, "One... two... three..." Then with the remaining breath in his lungs he shouted, "SUPERKID!"

Overdramatic? Maybe, but it was equaled by our young friend's reaction to the name. He snapped to attention like an elastic cord. He blinked confusedly for several seconds. Then he spoke, "I'm Superkid."

"Yes," the hypnotist confirmed excitedly.

"I'm fearless," said Superkid—formerly known as Aaron.

"Of course," the man agreed.

"And..." Here the fearless kid paused.

The hypnotist grinned widely. "And... now you will prove that you are fearless."

Our now-fearless hero gave the mysterious stranger an inquiring look. "How do I do that?"

"By going to that party!"

"Party?"

"Your friends are hosting a party tonight."

"Friends?"

"Darrin and Derrick, remember?"

After a few moments, the memories clicked and Superkid nodded, "That's right. Darrin and Derrick."

"And they're hosting a party..." the hypnotist repeated.

Superkid scratched his head. The memory of that didn't quite click as readily as Darrin and Derrick did, but of course he had no recollection of that because he had had the fear hypnotized out of him and thus couldn't remember the terrifying episode with the escape of Terrence's tarantula. He finally told the hypnotist, "I don't remember anything about a party."

"Your friend Terrence is hosting it at his house tonight," the stranger explained.

Superkid scratched his head. "Huh. Was I invited?"

"You weren't," the man said, "because everyone thinks you're a scaredy-cat."

Our hero was surprised. "That's ridiculous! I'm fearless! And what's so scary about a party?"

"They're going to tell scary stories--"

"So?"

"—and watch scary movies--"

"Is that all?"

The stranger smiled broadly. "You are going to prove them wrong. You are going to go to that party and tell them that you are Superkid and you are not afraid of anything!"

"Darn right, I am! Where's the party?"

Still smiling broadly, the hypnotist pointed to Darrin's house and said, "He'll tell you the details. Just be sure to tell him the very second you see him that you are Superkid."

"If you insist," said Superkid with a shrug and started toward Darrin's house.

The hypnotist watched him go with a proud smile on his face and then strode away, disappearing as mysteriously as he had appeared. Will we see him again? Perhaps sooner than we think.

But now that the mysterious hypnotist has removed himself from the story, we can now focus our entire attention on our young hero. Some of the questions about him have been answered and most likely other questions have surfaced that only you the smart-aleck reader would be clever enough to ask. But I the dignified narrator am too aloof to answer such questions. Let's just be content with our own superiority and get on with the story.

Aaron—now Superkid—marched up to the door of Darrin's house and knocked confidently. He no longer knew the fear of being answered by someone he knew only distantly or the fear of waiting awkwardly for his friend. And Darrin noticed this immediately when he opened the door.

Before he could get a word out, our diminutive hero announced with a salute, "The name is Superkid, Darrin."

Darrin had been in the middle of exclaiming Aaron's name in surprise, but at this rather strange salutation his voice faltered, making him sound somewhat like a dying engine from a lawn mower.

Superkid gave an apologetic shrug. "I know it's weird. It's just what he told me to tell you."

"Told you... wait, who?"

"The man." Superkid pointed into the street but then froze. That was the moment that it struck him just how weird it really was. Before this moment, it had seemed very natural to follow the directions of a strange man with hypnotic powers, but now he really understood that this was weird.

_What am I doing?_ He wondered. Without fear though, the thought was merely a puzzle. And since it was only a puzzle, his brain launched into a series of logical thinking: _okay, he told me to tell Darrin that I am Superkid and that I'm fearless... I need to tell him that because he and everyone else thinks that I'm cowardly... and because they think that I'm cowardly they're throwing a party with a scary theme that is supposed to keep me away... so it's necessary to tell him that I'm Superkid, which naturally is followed by the fact that I'm fearless._

Superkid turned to Darrin and glared at him. "So you think you could scare me away, did you?"

Darrin was perplexed. "Wh-what?"

"A scare party," our hero explained, "that you thought I was too chicken to go to. How could you ever doubt that I, Superkid, would be frightened away by something as mundane as a party? Even if the theme was horror?"

Darrin wasn't following. But a word in his friend's dialogue alerted him. It might help him figure out what his friend was talking about.

So he asked, "Who's Superkid?"

Superkid gave him a bemused look. "Me?" It dawned on him that Darrin didn't have a clue who Superkid was, which was why Darrin thought he was a coward. Darrin was confusing him for a different person who apparently was the chicken that didn't dare go to parties with horror themes.

Strange how the hypnotized mind works, isn't it?

But as illuminating as this logic was, Darrin was still groping blindly. He asked, "Is this a joke?"

Superkid shook his head. "No... at least, I don't think so." Now he was getting as confused as his friend. "I think what's going on here is that you're confusing me with someone else."

Darrin shook his head confusedly. "You mean Aaron?"

Superkid's body jolted. His eyes stared blankly for a second. Then he blinked and shook his head. "What happened?"

Darrin's eyes widened. "Aaron?"

"Yeah?" Then Aaron noticed the way Darrin was looking at him. "What?"

Darrin didn't speak for several moments. Something weird was definitely going on with Aaron. Darrin at first thought Aaron was playing a joke on him... until he realized that Aaron wasn't the kind to play jokes. And when he saw Aaron's body convulse, it convinced him that something absolutely weird was going on with Aaron. But what?

He asked, "Do you remember anything?"

Aaron gave him a strange look. "Like what?"

Darrin raised his palms in surrender. "The last five minutes? Do you remember when you knocked on the door?"

Aaron opened his mouth to respond and then shut it when he realized that he didn't remember knocking on Darrin's door. As a matter of fact, he didn't remember even coming up to Darrin's house. What was he doing here? He spun around and scanned the street, hoping he might spot something that would jog his memory.

Darrin did not like this. It was just getting worse. There was definitely something going on with Aaron. And the other name seemed to have something to do with it. Did he dare?

He did. It made him nervous though, so he asked very cautiously, "Does the name, 'Superkid' mean anything..."

He was alarmed when Aaron's body convulsed again. Then his friend blinked and said, "What happened?"

"Aaron!? Are you o..."

Once again, his friend convulsed, shook his head, and then cried, "What's happening to me?"

"It's okay! Don't panic!" Darrin said though he himself was losing his cool. "It's probably temporary. We're probably making a big deal out of nothing."

"What are we making a big deal out of?" Aaron demanded, gripping his head as though afraid it would fall off.

"I don't know! Just keep it together. You'll be okay."

"Okay? What's going on with me? Am I spazzing out or something?"

Darrin babbled, "Sort of. I mean, it's just for a second and then you're one person and the next you're someone else, and I think it's this name that makes you spaz, so as long as we don't say the name then you'll be just fine—"

"A name?" Aaron interrupted. "A name is making me spaz?"

"I think so," Darrin said, calming a little. He was slowly coming to the conclusion that his own babbling was actually making sense.

"What's the name?" Aaron asked.

"I think it was, uh, Superkid," Darrin answered before he realized what he had just done.

Aaron convulsed once more and then stumbled around, clutching his head. "I think something's wrong with me," he said. Darrin was astonished at how matter-of-fact he had sounded.

"Which one are you?" Darrin asked his friend cautiously.

"Which one what?" His friend looked up. "Oh, you mean am I Superkid or your timid friend? I'm Superkid."

Darrin automatically began to change his friend back but then a thought stopped him. He had calmed down enough that he could now approach this problematically. Aaron didn't seem to have an idea of what had happened to him but maybe this Superkid could give him the answers he needed.

"Hey, um, Superkid?"

"That's me," said the super kid, pleased that Darrin finally recognized him.

"Can you tell me where exactly you came from? How you came to be in Aar—uh—this body?"

The super kid looked down at his body and then back up at Darrin with a bemused expression. "I'm not sure what you mean."

"I mean how is it that you were Aar—uh, my scaredy-cat friend for twelve years and then came knocking on my door as Superkid?"

Superkid's brow rose to his forehead. "I still don't follow."

"I mean..." Darrin struggled to explain it better but ended up clenching his fists and throwing them down in frustration. "Urgh! I don't know what I mean! Just... why are you Superkid now and not... the other guy?"

"Hmm," Superkid mused with a wry smile. "Maybe what you need is some time to relax. I hear Terrence is throwing a party tonight."

Darrin stared at him.

There was still some time before the party and Darrin still wanted to solve the mystery of Aaron's split personality. He decided to recruit Derrick for this case since, as the saying goes, two heads are better than one... although Derrick's head was not the best choice for combining.

Darrin learned this the hard way. When he explained about their friend's peculiar condition, Derrick decided to have fun with it by constantly changing Superkid to Aaron and back again. By the time Darrin managed to bring Derrick under control, Aaron (or Superkid—I'm not sure where he ended up) was reeling.

"You're supposed to be helping!" Darrin snapped.

"With what?" Derrick asked. Then with a snicker at his dazed friend, he said, "Superkid."

Darrin was not amused. "Stop that! This is serious! He could have a serious problem!"

Derrick shrugged. "He goes from one person to another. So what?" Then he added, "Aaron."

Darrin grabbed the front of Derrick's shirt and with his other hand formed a fist that he drew back. "I'm serious! If you don't quit that, I'm going to punch you so hard you'll have a new place to store your junk."

"Okay! Okay! I'll stop!" Derrick squealed.

Darrin let him go. Then he asked him, "Derrick, do you remember anything strange that might have made Aaron like this?"

Derrick strained his brain (must have been painful for him) but eventually confessed, "Nope. But I do remember how funny it was when Aaron screamed when I showed him Terrence's tarantula." He giggled.

Darrin shook his head. They were getting nowhere. He should have known that Derrick wouldn't be much help. And he had been the last one with Aaron before he developed a split personality. Maybe what they needed to do was retrace their steps. And that's what he suggested.

"But what if whatever did that to Aaron does it to us too?" Derrick asked nervously.

"I'm not even sure where or when it happened," Aaron added.

"W-well maybe we can find a way to reverse it," Darrin said, now nervous about the suggestion himself. Leave it to his friends to point out the dangers. "And I'm sure if we all stick together, we'll be fine."

"Even me?" Aaron mumbled in an ironic tone.

"Don't forget Superkid," Derrick said and then snickered.

Darrin punched him. It wasn't quite the hole he promised but it would have to do.

They searched outside but it was just as fruitless as head-combining. Even Derrick was disappointed—as nervous as he had been about this escapade. There was a brief moment when Superkid seemed to be recalling something as they were walking to Derrick's house, but that's all it was: a brief moment. Soon Derrick was tired and bored and it was getting dark—about time to go to Terrence's party. Darrin suggested that they stay home from the party but Derrick vetoed the idea loudly. Strangely enough, Aaron was just as loud (he was Superkid, actually; they had forgotten to change him back), insisting that he needed to go to the party and prove that he was fearless.

Darrin was outvoted, so they all went to the party. The boy who opened the door was surprised when he spotted Aaron (Superkid, rather). The boy's name was Jerry and he was a real snarky fellow. Thought himself pretty clever and witty.

"You brought the chicken?" he asked with a grin.

"And some teriyaki sauce to go with it," Superkid responded with a glare.

At this, Jerry laughed. "Good one! But aren't you Aaron Purn—the guy who's scared of his own shadow?"

"Actually," said Derrick , inadvertently drawing attention away from Aaron's sudden convulsion, "he's called Superkid."

"Superkid?!" Jerry cried and burst out laughing. "What kind of a name is that? Thinks he's a superhero or something?"

"Or something," Superkid replied after shaking his head to clear it.

Darrin saw the convulsions and shook his head. He could tell that this was a bad idea. Why wouldn't Derrick and Aaron (or "Superkid," whoever he was) listen to him?

Jerry smiled. "Does that make you brave enough to come to this party then?"

Superkid snorted, "I doubt this party would require me to summon any amount of gumption."

Jerry laughed. "Whatever you say... Superkid."

The three friends followed Jerry inside. Jerry wrapped an arm around Superkid and called out to everyone in the room, "Hey guys! Guess what! Aaron came to our scare party!"

Superkid convulsed but no one noticed (except Darrin, who was shaking his head even harder). They had all burst into laughter and made comments like, "You sure he didn't get lost on his way to the 'wiener' party?" and "I bet he'll be crying in five minutes" and my personal favorite, "He's gonna be like the little piggy who cried, 'Wee wee wee' all the way home!"

"And guess what he's calling himself?" Jerry continued, jeering at Aaron who was looking at him perplexedly.

The group eagerly waited for the ridiculous name.

Jerry obliged them with a goofy voice. "Sooooper-kiiiid!"

They howled with laughter and made more comments like, "What kind of a name is that?" and "Did he get bitten by a radioactive scaredy-cat?" and my new favorite, "Superkid, defender of the wieners!"

...What? It was funny!

At any rate, it made for a great though not necessarily nice way to start the party. The boys enjoyed themselves laughing at Superkid. Superkid wasn't quite enjoying the party the way the rest of them were, but he was here to prove to them that he really was fearless and not some scaredy-cat. He had forgotten why he needed to prove it but the need to prove it was burning strong. That hypnotist sure does his job thoroughly, doesn't he? And doesn't leave a trace! But Superkid did feel that need to prove his fearlessness and he was getting more impatient the more the boys teased him.

At last, he got his chance. The boys popped in a zombie movie and they all gathered to watch... Aaron—that is, Superkid. The boys were certain that Aaron (Superkid) would be screaming within minutes and they were all dying to see it.

Can you consider that a pun, what with the zombie show they were watching and all that?...Never mind.

Imagine their growing surprise when Aaron the super kid remained stoically unfazed as the movie played. Imagine their jaws slowly dropping as the chicken they all knew and loved to tease made casual comments like, "Creepy little parasites, aren't they?" and "You ought to hear me when I'm hungry!" and my absolute favorite, "The door's a little more to your left!" Imagine their bulging eyes when the movie ended and the biggest wimp in Poolington whooped and said, "All right! Who's up for the sequel?"

"Wasn't that show scary?" someone asked him.

Superkid shrugged. "I'm sure I heard one of you scream." He smirked.

Someone else waved his hand at the window. "It's pretty dark outside. Aren't you worried a zombie might get you when you're walking home?"

Superkid snorted. "Please. I'd be more worried about tripping and breaking my ankle."

"What about--"

Suddenly something slammed against the window, causing everyone to yelp and jump in fright—everyone except Superkid, as to be expected. He laughed and said, "Who's willing to freeze out there just to scare us?"

"Why don't you go out there and see?" said someone slyly.

Superkid gasped and clutched his face. "And get eaten by a zombie out there?" Then he straightened and grinned. "If you insist, sure. Far be it for me to allow someone to give himself cramps waiting for some poor sucker to come his way." With that, he sauntered over to the door, whistling a merry tune. He opened it and peered out.

A zombie popped into the doorway and roared into Superkid's face. Superkid coughed and waved his hand in front of his nose. "Care for a breath mint?"

Everyone gaped in astonishment. Not a single whimper from the biggest fraidy-cat in town. What had happened to him? What could have given him this newfound power to stare fear in the eye and laugh?

We know how. And that's what we call dramatic irony, folks.

# Issue # 2: Superkid the Superhero

Thus far we witnessed Superkid's origins and his first steps toward establishing his name. But a mere scare party is not going to be enough to showcase our diminutive hero in action. That's what this issue is for. Let's get right to it, shall we?

Poolington woke up to a bright Saturday morning—never suspecting that its peace and quiet was soon to be shattered. Its defender was in Derrick's backyard with Derrick himself and the other friend, Darrin, shooting baskets. Aaron attempted a swisher (and failed miserably, I'm sorry to say) when he and his friends heard some sort of commotion.

"I wonder what's going on." Darrin said.

They hurried to the front yard and froze.

Women ran screaming through the streets. Aaron and his friends scanned further ahead and discovered the women streamed from Terrence's house. Curiosity tugged at them (common sense was on break) so they hurried over to see what all the hubbub was about. What they found was Terrence crawling on the floor and swiping frantically.

"What happened?" Darrin asked.

"My tarantula," Terrence answered hastily without looking up. "My mom and her friends were having a little party when they saw my tarantula."

"So that's what they were all screaming about," Derrick said.

"Yeah, and if I don't catch him soon then I'm pretty sure Mom will make me let him go. So will you guys please help me catch him?"

"Uh, where did you see him last?" Aaron asked as he slowly crept for the door, glancing nervously around the room.

Derrick noticed and a sly smile crossed his face. "Where are you going, Superkid?" he asked.

Darrin wondered if his threat to punch Derrick a new place to store his things had expired or not. It had been five days since then—maybe it had.

He decided not to punch Derrick. Instead he sighed as Aaron convulsed, shook his head, looked down at Terrence, and asked, "What's going on?"

Derrick answered dramatically, "Terrence has lost his tarantula and he—needs—your—help!"

Superkid rolled his eyes. "You called me for that?"

Derrick threw up his hands. "Well, it's not as if our town is crawling with supervillains. This is the best we can give you."

Superkid huffed. "I never said I was a superhero."

"Then why do you call yourself Superkid?"

"It's..." Superkid shrugged, "...just my name." He struggled to remember where he had gotten the name but the memory remained tantalizingly out of reach.

Terrence stared between Superkid and Derrick. He pointed at our young hero. "Am I missing something here?"

"Other than your sanity, no," Superkid replied with sneer. Terrence reacted in surprise at this bold and mean-spirited quip from the usually mild-mannered kid, and Superkid added, "I don't suppose you still think I'm a scaredy-cat, do you?"

Terrence gaped. "Where'd you get guts all of a sudden?"

"Same place you got your brains," Superkid retorted.

Terrence turned to Darrin. "Is that even Aaron?"

Darrin shrugged. "He is now."

Derrick explained before Terrence could ask, "Aaron's got a split personality now. One side is the chicken—the Aaron side—and the other is his gutsy side—the Superkid side."

"We're not sure how it happened," Darrin said. "One day, he knocked on my door and told me he was Superkid."

Terrence gaped at Darrin and Derrick, eventually shaking his head. "You think that maybe all our teasing finally caused him to snap?"

"It might also have been exacerbated by the fact that you talk about him like he's not even there," Superkid interjected after he shook away his daze.

Darrin, Derrick, and Terrence turned sheepishly away. Superkid eyed them all and was struck by a sudden pang of guilt. Maybe he was being too hard on them. They were only having a little fun.

He dropped his gaze to the floor. Then he frowned thoughtfully. Then he crouched, picked something off the floor, and set it gently in his hand. He held it out to Terrence, who turned and then let his mouth drop open in surprise.

"This yours?"

Terrence could not believe his eyes. Sitting in Aaron's (Superkid, actually; Terrence had not quite grasped the "split personality" concept) hand was his tarantula. Of course, the surprise to him was not that his tarantula had come back to him but the fact that it was Aaron (still Superkid) who was holding it without a single tremor of his hand! Terrence took his pet back wordlessly. He looked up at Superkid, who was smiling at him.

"You really are fearless," he whispered in shock.

Okay, so it wasn't the dramatic fight that I promised. As a matter of fact, that was actually kind of mushy. Just hang on a minute and we'll try that again. I promise we'll see some real action this time.

Poolington awoke the next day to a bright Sunday morning—never realizing that its peace and quiet was about to be shattered... for real, this time. Darrin was trying for a three-point shot backwards but accidentally threw it into the oak tree. Derrick was preparing to climb the tree to retrieve the ball when they heard another sort of commotion.

"Now what?" Derrick grumbled. The three friends trooped out to the front yard and, this time, were petrified.

Women and men ran screaming through the streets. Scanning further ahead, the three of them discovered the cause of it and felt their blood run ice-cold and their legs turn to raspberry jelly (pardon the adjective, I'm hungry for a scone). And what was the cause of their reactions?

Bigger than a single-room apartment! More terrible than a pile of dead worms! Able to lasso an entire town with a single spool of web. Originating from the lab of a mad doctor—a beast of hair... was a giant spider!

This massive menace charged through the town, chasing after citizens who were helpless ants at the mercy of its giant feet... well, actually, spiders don't have feet, but you know what I mean.

"What the?!" Darrin exclaimed, staring at the gargantuan arachnid in horror.

"Where the heck did that thing come from?!" Darrin cried.

Aaron could only gape.

That mutated arachnid crashed through the town, wreaking havoc everywhere it turned. It slashed buildings with a powerful sweep of its hairy leg. It tipped lampposts with the powerful gravity of its hairy abdomen. But those were not its worst offenses, oh no. Its worst offense--the most terrible crime it committed--was the horrible song it was singing:

"The big and hairy spider came down into the town,

Out came the humans and began to run around,

'Ha!' went the spider and chased them down the lane,

And so the little town was never the same again!"

Truly a song to cripple the bravest of men! A song that sowed despair upon the hearts of the good citizens! A song that assaulted the delicate ear of the musically gifted with its raw voice!

Who in the face of such monstrosity could possibly retain his courage? Why, the only person who knew nothing of its opposite: Superkid!

Darrin and Derrick were a little slow to come to this conclusion though. Darrin gaped at it in horror and cried, "Somebody needs to stop that spider!" And quickly--the diabolical critter was wrapping the citizens in webbing and hanging them from trees.

"But how?" Derrick threw up his hands in despair. "It's bigger than anything! No one's going to stand up to it! Everyone's too scared!"

And that was when Darrin finally got it. He thrust his finger into the air and said, "But not Superkid!" He turned to Aaron who had been sneaking away. Aaron suddenly snapped to attention and said bravely, "You called?"

"We need you to go squish a giant spider that's attacking the town!" Darrin pointed.

Superkid followed the finger. His mouth suddenly dropped and his eyes widened. "Whoa! Where'd that thing come from?"

Darrin threw up his hands. "How should we know? But somebody needs to stop it!"

"And I'm the one for the job is what you're getting at?" Superkid smiled wryly. "This is an ironic situation. Long have spiders been stepped on, and now there's one doing the stepping! But fear not, good citizens!" Superkid thrust out his chest and said dramatically, "I, Superkid, shall rescue you from the wrath of an abnormally large crawler and teach him the meaning of poetic justice!"

"Then get your rump moving," Derrick said impatiently, "before the people you're saving become pancakes!"

Our hero glared at him. "You have no appreciation for pre-battle speeches."

"Especially when the town's being attacked by a giant spider!"

"All right!" Superkid threw up his hands in surrender. "I'm going!" And with that, he rushed in to save the day. Not wanting to miss out on some superhero action, his two friends followed.

Meanwhile, the dastardly spider had started a new chorus as it bounced a yelling man on a string of web like a ping pong paddle:

"The big and hairy spider came down into the town,

Out came the humans and began to run around..."

The monstrous crawler was startled into dropping its ping pong when a voice began singing:

"Out came Superkid and kicked his hairy end,

And the big and hairy spider was never seen again!"

It turned to the source of the singing (which was only slightly better than the critter's own) and found itself staring at a grinning kid.

"Was that you?" it growled at him.

"You mean was I the one singing?"

"Yes, that's what I mean," said the spider, who could just tell that this kid was going to be a nuisance. Never could it imagine just how much of a nuisance.

"Yep, that was me," Superkid admitted. "It was just that your song was so inspiring, I just had to join in."

The gargantuan creeper huffed. "Inspiring, huh? You suicidal, kid?"

Superkid responded heartily, "Heck no! Life's too much fun!"

The ugly critter lowered his hairy head and breathed into our hero's face. "You do realize you're getting on my nerves, don't you? And you do realize that I'm a giant spider?"

"Yes to the second, and to the first I could only hope."

"Are you crazy then?"

"Nope, just fearless."

"Oh really?" The monstrous spider's face split into a nasty grin. "I think I might have a cure for that." And without further warning, it kicked Superkid. Our diminutive hero flew into the air and crashed onto the roof of a house.

"Ooh!" both Darrin and Derrick groaned. Derrick added, "That's gotta hurt."

Superkid grabbed the peak of the roof to keep from rolling off. He coughed and groaned, "Ouch."

The eight-legged monster stomped over to him. It grinned at him and said, "Want another dose?"

Superkid groaned as he twisted to face the gargantuan menace. He wheezed, "Just give me a minute." He twisted himself until his back popped. Then he grinned and said, "Okay, now I'm ready."

The spider scowled. This kid was stupider than it thought. Apparently he did need another dose. So the spider swiped his leg through the house to bring it down where it would bury the smart-aleck half-pint.

The smart-aleck half-pint had a different plan, however. As the house started to crumble, he leaped onto the massive arachnid's face. It stumbled backward in surprise and fell onto its behind.

"Aaaaaaack!" the spider yelled in pain. And no, landing on your hindquarters probably isn't that painful, but if we consider the anatomy of a spider, you'll realize its legs are not designed to allow it to sit, hence the scream of pain.

It scrambled to its feet (which we remember it doesn't actually have) and began shaking its head furiously. Superkid kept a tight grip on its head.

"Get off!" it growled. "I can't see!"

"A disadvantage to you," our hero countered, "is an advantage to me."

"I'll smash you into a house then!" it roared and scuttled forward.

Superkid glanced behind himself, muttered, "Oh crap" and dropped from the spider's face.

And just in the nick of time because a second later the colossal critter's face smashed through the house. It struggled with its head in the jagged hole until it finally pulled away. A snazzy stucco collar came with it, but the spider didn't appreciate it too much. Itched too much, I guess. The giant arachnid punched the collar off and then spun around to locate that annoying kid. It found him posed in a wrestling stance and giving it an annoying grin.

"That's it!" it snapped. "No more games! I'm ending this!" And in so ending the game, it aimed its end at our vertically challenged friend. His eyes darted to the spinnerets and he muttered, "Oh crap."

White sticky ropes shot out of the spinnerets and hit him right in the stomach. He gasped and bent over, clutching his stomach. The spider fired another shot of webbing that struck his head and sent him skidding down the street.

"Come on!" cried a voice. "You can do it!"

Darrin and Derrick, who had believed themselves the only spectators, saw people coming out to their yards to watch Superkid's battle with the behemoth.

"Yeah!" another yelled. "You beat its ugly butt!"

"Good advice!" Superkid yelled back as he tried to pull the sticky wads of webbing off of his head, "because that appears to be its most dangerous asset!"

The spectators got quite a kick out of that. They were doubled over and gasping for breath because they were laughing so hard. The hairy arachnid wasn't quite so amused. It growled as it stomped over to our hero, "All right, wise-guy. We'll see who's laughing after my 'asset' squashes you flat!"

Superkid saw what the monstrous crawler was planning and struggled harder. "Wait! I've nearly got it. Just give me one more..." But when he saw that the spider wasn't going to wait for him and was raising its leg, he darted under it. He was a little confused and couldn't clearly see where he was going. This was how he ended up slamming into one of the hairy behemoth's leg. To add insult to injury, when he tried to pull away, he found that the webbing on his stomach had tangled in the hairs of the spider's leg.

"Well this is a fine mess," he grumbled.

The evil critter tried to shake the fearless boy off its leg, but he was stuck fast. So then it reached with its foreleg to try to scrape Superkid off. Superkid leaned back, dodging the leg so that it became stuck inside the webbing that held our pint-sized hero fast.

"Aaaaaaargh!" the evil arachnid stumbled. It spread its other legs wide, almost bridging the street. The spectators watching on their lawns backed away in revulsion—the spider hadn't shaved its legs in years!

But the evil critter didn't care about their opinion. It liked its legs just the way they were. Besides, it had more pressing problems like the smart-mouth stuck to its leg. It swiveled its head down and grumbled at the super kid, "You're turning out to be more trouble than you're worth."

"Thank you," said Superkid and flashed the spider a grin.

"Don't be so smug, kid. As soon as I get my leg out, I'm squashing you like a bug." And with that dire promise, it tugged its leg. This endeavor was rewarded with the sound of fibers snapping. Encouraged, the spider tugged harder. More fibers snapped and the spider's leg got a few inches. Taking advantage of the room, the spider tucked its leg in and then suddenly snapped it away.

This did the trick. The behemoth's hairy leg was free but so was its nuisance. The young hero flew through the critter's legs and landed on one of the spectators.

The diabolical spider made its way toward Superkid with murderous intent gleaming in its eye. Our hero immediately jumped to his feet and ran toward the monster.

"What are you doing?!" people cried.

Superkid had no time to explain. As he ran toward the spider, it lifted its leg and stabbed at him. He dodged with a leap to the right and then jumped onto its second leg. The spider shook the leg vigorously but Superkid kept his grip

Then it began spinning in a circle, throwing out its legs in a crazy tarantella (which is kind of funny if you know what a tarantella is) in an attempt to throw our youthful vigilante off, but still he kept his grip. So the diabolical spider spun faster but our hero gripped tighter. It spun faster still and he gripped tighter still. Faster it spun, tighter he gripped. Faster—and tighter. Faster and faster—tighter and tighter...

...until finally, the spider dropped from sheer exhaustion and lied there dizzy. Superkid rolled off and then lied there also, not feeling too well himself. But he was soon on his feet again (though staggering a little) and he made his way to the dizzy behemoth's face. When he was sure the spider could see him, he adopted a wide stance, planted his fists on his hips, and flashed the spider a wide grin. "Ready to give up?"

"Only when you're tall enough to play basketball," the monster retorted.

"That's a long time to wait," said Superkid, "but let's see if I can make you change it to a sooner time." Then he climbed onto the spider's head, being sure to step on all the sensitive sensory organs. From there, he climbed onto the spider's bulbous rear end, sat down, and then kicked its flanks with a cry, "Hidey ho, Silver!"

Rage fueled the titanic arachnid when it leaped to its feet, roared, "I'll 'hidey ho, Silver' you!" and then reared back as far as it could. Superkid clung to its hairy back and yelled, "Yee haw!"

This only enraged the behemoth further. It bucked and reared and twisted itself every which way but the super kid had a super grip.

Now it seemed like Superkid was just winging things and having the time of his life while he was at it, but he was actually formulating a plan to beat this monster and chase it out of town to protect its citizens. As the monster bucked and reared, he thought, _If it's not careful, this spider could fall onto its back!_ And that's what gave him the brilliant idea. Of course, he was in an excellent position to tip the balance (literally). All he had to do was shift his weight and down would come creepy, eight legs and all.

So when it dropped to its feet (the metaphorical ones), he allowed himself to slide forward. Then he gripped the hair on its back as it reared back again. Then it dropped again and he slid forward to where he could now grip its neck. He wrapped his arms around the neck and held tight.

The gargantuan critter reared back one last time and suddenly realized that it had too much top weight and flailed its arms (oh, now I'm confusing its legs for arms!) for balance. To make sure that the spider would topple, Superkid, still gripping the beast's neck, threw himself backwards.

The plan worked. Down came the crawler onto its back. Superkid kicked himself off the spider just before impact, tumbling onto the asphalt. He got a few scrapes and bruises but he was beaming with pride when he saw that his monstrous foe was on its back, desperately flailing its eight legs in the air.

It grunted and groaned as it kicked its legs and rolled its body but to no avail. It was helpless.

"Curse you, Superkid!" it roared.

"And the big and hairy spider," the young hero sang with much aplomb, "was beaten by Superkiiiiiid!"

The good citizens of Poolington all clapped and cheered their hero, who had saved the day. Newspaper reporters suddenly appeared by his side to document this incredible story.

"How did you beat the giant spider?" one of them asked, her pencil poised above her notepad.

"Didn't you see what happened?" our hero asked in surprise. Then he answered, "With determination, courage, and a little dumb luck."

Another reporter asked, "How do you feel after defeating that monster?" He pointed with his pen at the monster, which was still rocking futilely and cursing articulately.

"Like I'm living up to my name," the young hero replied, puffing out his chest.

"And what is your name?" yet another reporter asked—just for the record.

Our young hero was about to answer when a high voice shrieked, "AARON PURN! WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?" He jumped and then blinked confusedly at the reporters. "Wha--"

Somebody shoved her way through the crowd until she was standing in front of the kid hero. From the way she had her meaty hands on her large hips and the way her plump face was twisted furiously, we can only conclude that this was our amazing hero's mother (Yikes!).

"What did you think you were doing?" she repeated as she jerked on his wrist. "You could have been killed!"

"I could have?" Superkid—now Aaron—said in astonishment.

"Yes, you could have!" his mom cried in exasperation. "Where's your common sense?"

Darrin and Derrick fought their way forward as Aaron blurted in genuine bewilderment, "What was I doing?"

Darrin bellowed before a sound could exit this stern woman's mouth, "SUPERKID! Wait for us!" He and Derrick finally managed to make it into the circle where Aaron (now Superkid again), his mother, and the reporters stood.

Mrs. Purn glared down at Darrin and Derrick, planting her fists on her hips again. "What is the meaning of this?"

"Uh..." Darrin glanced at the monstrous arachnid. It was still rocking and cursing profusely, so he continued, "Aar—er—he," Darrin jerked his head to the young hero, "turns into a fearless person when you call him Superkid. And when you call him by his real name, he goes back to his original self."

Everyone turned to Darrin with confusion written on their faces. Derrick, sensing danger, gave Darrin a fake look of bewilderment. It wasn't very convincing and it disappeared after Darrin elbowed him in annoyance. Mrs. Purn shook her head. "What?"

"Okay," Darrin tried again, "Superkid..." he patted his fearless friend on the shoulder, "...fought the spider and remembers the whole thing."

Superkid shrugged. "So?"

Darrin continued. "Aaron..." once again he patted his now-not-so-fearless friend on the shoulder, "...doesn't remember the battle at all. He wouldn't even have been in it if you hadn't called him Superkid."

"In other words," Derrick interrupted, "he has a split personality."

Murmurs rippled through the crowd. Mrs. Purn shook her head and said, "So you're saying Aaron is two different people in one?"

"Yes!" Darrin cried in relief that she had caught on.

"And saying his two names will transform him into those two people?"

"Yes!"

Mrs. Purn glanced at Aaron who returned her look with confusion. She asked, "Why?"

Darrin raised his upturned hands. "I don't know. But we found about this a week ago."

"And you didn't tell me?" Mrs. Purn growled.

Darrin gulped. He had hoped he would never have to tell her (Can you really blame him?).

Mrs. Purn's nostrils flared and she breathed deeply as she tried to keep her cool. She was notorious for having a short temper. And the next few minutes saw why.

"DID IT NEVER OCCUR TO YOU TO TELL ME ABOUT THIS THE SECOND YOU DISCOVERED THIS? DID IT NEVER OCCUR TO YOU THAT THIS MIGHT BE SERIOUS? THAT HE NEEDED MEDICAL ATTENTION? DID YOU THINK YOU COULD CURE HIM YOURSELF? OR MAYBE THAT IT WAS SOMETHING THAT WOULD GO AWAY ON ITS OWN? DO YOU REALIZE HOW IRRESPONSIBLE..."

Boy, did she let him have it! Darrin quailed under the full force of her fury. Derrick didn't dare to move, hoping that by keeping as still as possible she wouldn't see him. As for the rest of the people there, they could feel the shockwaves. Even the spider was paralyzed by the effects, its mouth agape.

After perhaps a century or two, her voice exhausted itself and she was left breathing heavily. Darrin by this time had become so tense that it would be quite a while before he could move his little finger again. He would have some company at least because Derrick couldn't move either.

Aaron was trying to hide in his mother's blind spot—if she had one. He wasn't so sure that she did when she suddenly grabbed his arm with a jerk and said, "I'm going to take Aaron to a doctor and have him checked out. In the meantime, I don't want anyone..." on the crowd she cast her gaze like a death ray (with far more devastating consequences: she made them feel like little schoolchildren), "...to call him by his other name. Is that clear?"

As one they all murmured, "Yes, Mrs. Purn."

With that, Mrs. Purn marched her son to the car to take him to a doctor who might be able to diagnose and treat his strange split personality.

And thus concludes the story of his first super battle. But despite what Mrs. Purn tried, it certainly wasn't going to be his last...

# Issue # 3: Doctor Red

I'm sure you've noticed, but it's only after the superhero comes along that the supervillains rear their ugly heads to wreak havoc on the world--the mutated giant spider is a case in point. But if you really think about it, if it happened the other way around then the hero would probably never rise up to save the day because there wouldn't be anything to rise up from! Well I guess there are some that actually do, but stories like that are called dystopias and who really wants to listen to all the griping about the lack of freedom, dismal living conditions, and downtrodden voices, eh?

Now you probably remember that I mentioned Doctor Red before. You know, in the first part of Issue # 1? That's right. We're going to be meeting him in this issue.

Previously, in Issue # 2, Superkid had fought a monstrous spider that had been terrorizing Poolington. It hadn't been too long before our hero brought the gargantuan arachnid onto its back and thus saved the day. Then we met his mother who discovered what was going on and was now trying to find a way to banish Superkid from Aaron's ego forever.

She wasn't too successful, unfortunately for her. The doctor that she had taken her son to had studied him for hours and then pronounced that he was suffering from an unusual case of dissociation identity, which Mrs. Purn was furious to learn was simply a medical term for "split personality." It didn't help her temper either when she found reporters flocking around her property in an attempt to garner more details about her heroic son and his battle with the mutant spider. She did her best to repel them, using her super temper to threaten to sue if they continued to invade her private property. Nonetheless the media managed to scoop enough dirt from neighbors and friends to write an intriguing story about a fierce giant spider that had been spitting poison, reducing citizens to piles of melted goop, and had been stopped by a brave seven-year-old kid with his super-powered rattle. Some of the more "unbiased" reporters had attempted to find the monstrous arachnid to get its side of the story, but it had already been hauled off in a dump truck to the desert. It wasn't easy squeezing the monster in there, especially since the crew was trying so hard to keep it helpless on its back!

Without an opinion from the opposite side, the reporters had no choice but to write the story as Superkid being indeed a superhero and the monster indeed a monster and not misunderstood. The story concluded, _According to reliable sources, this brave lad, who single-handedly defeated the monster, is known as Superkid. People may now sleep well at night, knowing that this superhero is on the case!_

All evil villains beware... a new hero is in town!

"So it seems..." muttered a voice ominously. The owner of the voice carelessly tossed the paper aside where it plopped next to a rusty assortment of nuts and bolts, kicking up a thick plume of dust. Now you're probably thinking this person was too lazy to clean the house, but actually this person had better things to do with the time than to sweep up. And what sort of person was too involved in pressing matters to be involved in petty activities like tidying up the place?

This person... was the villainous Doctor Red.

The villainous Doctor Red pushed out of the swivel chair, which squeaked loudly, and began pacing. And while he's pacing, I'll describe him to you.

He was a tall man with broad shoulders over which was stretched a white lab coat over a gray shirt and faded blue jeans. He had short brown hair and brown eyes. I know, boring little details. I'll just skip ahead to the more interesting stuff like the fact that his skin was bright red. Most people when they see his skin assume that he has sunburn. But it wasn't the sun that gave his skin such a healthy color. It was actually the result of an accident he had with some unusual chemicals. And no, I don't think his skin color was the reason for his name. He actually claims that the name is an anagram for Really Evil Doctor. Yeah, it's cheesy, but don't go telling him that! He can get really testy.

Did he have superpowers? Well no. At least, not any as far as he knew. He did seem to be immune to mild burns—not anything too exciting. What was exciting about him was that he was an inventor. A mad scientist. And now you're probably putting two and two together.

That's right. The mutant spider was his creation. To be honest though, it really was an accident. His demonstration in front of the board of directors for the invention company had gone terribly wrong. Wasn't the first time a thing like that had happened either. His history was a long line of tragic failures. But we won't get into that. The important thing is that he is Dr. Red and he is an evil villain.

At this moment, steam was building in this evil villain's head.

"So this... Superkid comes and defeats my creation..." the evil doctor murmured, "...defeats my monster... my work... and he becomes a hero... a superhero... and I'm left a disgrace..."

The thought was boiling him up inside. Here he was trying to create inventions to amaze the world and some snot-nose little punk goes and makes a laughing stock out of it! Bad enough that no one appreciated his genius but now somebody had the gall to mock his most impressive creation!

Well, he'd teach them to laugh at him! He'd show them what he could really do!

He paused and looked up, an evil little smile curling slowly on his lips.

"We'll see who's laughing when I'm done with their little superhero," he said as he marched to his worktable. "We shall see very soon! And when they do, they will TREMBLE before me! Me, Doctor Red, the supervillain! The Really Evil Doctor! They will ALL learn to respect me!" And he topped off that diabolical rant with a very bone-chilling evil laugh.

Back in Poolington, everyone was blissfully unaware of the trouble brewing on the horizon. Although "blissful" was a rather strong word to describe Superkid's predicament. He was actually dormant. Mrs. Purn was taking extreme measures to keep this other person under control and one of these measures was to ground her son, Aaron, from hanging out with his friends.

...Hey, I said extreme measures not reasonable ones.

His friends weren't too thrilled at the news.

"She grounded you?!" Derrick's eyes threatened to pop out of their sockets.

Aaron nodded glumly. "I'm not allowed to talk to you anymore."

Darrin raised his upturned hands. "Why?"

Aaron shook his head. "I don't know. I don't dare to ask her."

Derrick was indignant. "That's not fair! She can't do that! She can't ground you just because you turn into..." He gulped when he realized what he had been about to say.

Aaron stared at him. "What? What were you about to say? What do I turn into?"

Derrick and Darrin exchanged glances. Darrin opened his mouth to answer...

...just as the bell rang.

"Ah shoot," Derrick said glumly. "See you, Aaron."

"Bye guys," Aaron said sadly.

"Now, let's see if it works," said Dr. Red. He cradled in his hands a small pistol fitted with odd little colored buttons and a barrel composed of various metals like copper, tin, aluminum, and steel. He turned to a hand-drawn target hanging on the tin wall of his laboratory.

"Laser pistol, Trial One," he announced and then fired.

The pistol gave a small pop. Immediately the target erupted with electricity that spread out in waves like ripples in a pond. When the electricity vanished, the evil doctor was astounded at the results. The target was shredded but that was due to the jagged metal shards thrust through it. The tin wall surrounding the target was also shredded, the metal twisted and jutting.

The evil doctor inspected his invention bemusedly. "Hmm. That's interesting." He placed it down on the worktable and picked up a bigger gun with even stranger doodads than the previous. He took aim at the decimated target, announced, "Vaporizer, Trial One," and fired.

A beam of blue light shot from it with a high-pitched buzz. It hit the target, which turned purple and buzzed louder and louder. Then suddenly the target was ripped into pieces and hurled back at the bad doctor as though some ghostly pitcher was throwing him a fastball. He stepped swiftly aside just in time. The fastball hit the opposite wall and exploded with a loud CRACK!

"Whoa!" Dr. Red exclaimed. "I've got to be cautious with this one! This could be really dangerous!" Looking down at his weapon, he grinned.

A week had passed and Darrin and Derrick were wondering if Aaron's punishment had ended yet. It had been dull without their favorite scaredy-cat and they were debating whether or not to ask his mom if she would allow him to hang out with them again.

"I don't think she ever liked me," Derrick said, "so I think you should ask her."

"I'm not going to ask her!" Darrin protested. "I'm too young to die!"

"And I'm not?"

"Better you than me!"

In the end, they decided not to risk their physical and mental being to Mrs. Purn's wrath. Which was just as well: she wouldn't have told them anyways. She hadn't even told her own son how long he was being punished. When he had asked, her only response was, "When I feel you've been punished long enough."

_I'll need a cane by that time_ , Aaron had thought miserably and continued to scrub the wall.

Meanwhile, while our hero suffered under the questionable parenting of his mother, the villain was out on the town, painting it red... well purple actually—just before it was launched at him.

"Whoo! This is fun!" he whooped as he aimed his big gun at a delivery truck. He pulled the trigger and watched as the truck turned purple, came apart with a ghastly screech, and then shot toward him like a homing missile. He had gotten skilled at dodging these attacks, so he was having fun playing chicken with himself—waiting for the missiles to get close before he moved. And it was oh so satisfying to hear the crashes, the tinkling glass, the pattering rubble, and, of course, the terrified screams.

He laughed heartily as he whirled around and fired his pistol at a lamppost. It erupted into crackling electricity that quickly left it looking like the scratching post of a very large and very violent kitty.

Suddenly a commanding voice bellowed out, "FREEZE!"

Dr. Red turned to face a line of cops all pointing pistols at him. Calmly and deftly he fired his pistol at their firearms, quickly reducing them into ribbons of twisted metal. The officers promptly dropped them in surprise.

The doctor, seeing their weapons lying useless on the ground, grinned at them and asked in a pleasant voice one might use to comment on the weather, "So, any of you know where I might find Superkid?"

They all looked at one another. One of them finally replied, "Uh, we don't know."

"Oh really?" The evil doctor gave them a politely curious look. "But you have heard of him?"

"Well, yeah, who hasn't?" another joined in. "But we don't think he's here. I remember reading the paper and noting that the incident with him wasn't in our town."

"Oh." The doctor relaxed his grip on his guns. "It wasn't this town the giant spider attacked?"

The cops all glanced at each other. Then one of them said, "Nope."

"Ah." Dr. Red nodded. "Sorry then." He motioned with his pistol at the rubble and fire surrounding them. Then with a cheerful, "See ya!" he waded through the mess and went on his way.

The policemen exchanged yet another round of looks with each other as the evil doctor retreated, his coat fluttering behind him. One finally piped up, "Are we just going to let him go?"

"You want to get blown up by that weird gun of his?" another countered.

"But we can't just let him go blow up that kid!" the first officer cried, "even if he is a super kid."

"He did manage to take down a giant spider," another officer pointed out. "I'll put my money on that kid."

"But that guy's got a gun," yet another cop argued. "And he's a sharp shooter."

The cop who had put his money on Superkid asked him, "So how much are you going to bet?"

"Twenty bucks sound good to you?"

"Oh, you know you're going to lose, don't you?" one of the officers teased.

"I'm not exactly rolling in dough," the other said irritably.

"Fine," said the betting cop, "twenty it is."

"I'll put thirty on the kid," said another policeman.

"Hey!" said the poor cop, "I've only bet twenty!"

"You cheapskate."

They continued to argue about their bets as Dr. Red disappeared into the horizon in search of the town that held Superkid.

The next day, there was an article on the attack:

Evil Doctor's Diagnosis for Piner City: Destruction

_Piner City was attacked yesterday by a mysterious man wearing a doctor's lab coat and wielding two unusual guns that created unusual effects in its targets. Officer Marshall was quoted today, "_ he had one that shredded our guns with some sort of electricity and another that turned things purple and then blew them up. _" He further stated that after learning that Piner City did not hold the legendary "Superkid," this madman turned right around and walked off._

_When asked why the officers didn't apprehend this obviously dangerous man, Officer Marshall replied, "_ Our valiant officers were lucky to escape with their lives. They were knocked unconscious by shrapnel from his explosive weapon. By the time they came to, this crazed lunatic had gone. But rest assured we have every able-bodied man and woman on this case and we'll stop at nothing to see this man safely locked away."

Nonetheless, many express concerns that the doctor will find the Superkid and pray that he can triumph over the trials that will undoubtedly come.

"Are they talking about that evil doctor or Superkid?" Derrick asked.

Darrin folded the newspaper. "I don't know, but this is a problem."

"Yeah," Derrick agreed. "They need to say who exactly they hope can triumph over the trials."

"No, you blockhead!" Darrin said in irritation. "I mean the part about that guy looking for Aaron."

"You mean Superkid."

"Either one!" Darrin snapped. "They're both the same person! The point is we need to figure out how to keep that mad doctor from finding Superkid."

"You mean Aaron?" Derrick asked innocently.

Darrin demanded, "Are you being stupid on purpose?"

Derrick gave him an offended look. "I'm just trying to be helpful."

"You'd be a lot more helpful if you weren't so helpful."

Derrick shot him a dirty look. Then he said, "Well, we don't want Superkid to get shot, zapped, or blown up... nor us, for that matter."

"Exactly." Darrin nodded. "Is there any way that doctor could find him?"

The short and quite terrifying answer to that was a definite yes. The reporters had printed more than a few intimate details about Superkid. But even if the doctor was illiterate or allergic to newsprint, there were still gossips and their cousins across the valley. Just by talking to anyone within 100 miles of Poolington, he'd be able to triangulate the pint-sized hero's exact location... give or take an address.

"He's doomed," Derrick finally said.

Darrin said solemnly, "We've got to warn him."

"Where's Superkid?" Dr. Red demanded. He had his bigger gun pointed at the editor-in-chief of the Piner City Tribune.

"Who?" the guy asked, breaking out in cold sweat.

"Superkid!"

"Oh, him!" The man tried a smile and a chuckle but ended up giving a grimace and a squeak. "I don't know—but I'm sure my staff could tell you!" he finished quickly as the evil Doctor Red tightened his grip on the trigger.

Just then, a reporter walked in. The evil doctor whipped his other gun at her.

"Where's Superkid?" Red demanded.

She eyed him and his odd gun with calm disdain. "You mean that kid who beat up that giant spider?"

"Yes, that one."

"Hmm, if I remember correctly..." She glanced at the ceiling in thought. "I heard the staff saying he lives in Poolington."

"Poolington?"

"Yes."

"Poolington..." murmured the evil doctor thoughtfully. He finally concluded, "Weird name. Where's that?"

"If you'll just follow me, I can show you a map." She turned and calmly walked out the door as though she didn't have a strange gun pointed at the back of her head. Normally, such disdain would infuriate him into showing her just how disdainful of him she should be. But she was cooperating, so he begrudgingly let her appendages remain attached. To compensate for his irritation, he turned his larger gun at the phone next to the editor-in-chief and fired. Then he walked quickly out the door before the phone turned purple, fragmented, and then launched itself at the wall next to the door.

Dr. Red followed the reporter to her desk where she rummaged through the drawers until she pulled out a large but thin book. She slipped through the pages, muttering, "World atlas... United States... Alabama, Alaska, Hawaii, mhm, mhm..."

Finally, she stopped flipping through the book and with her eyes scanned the page until she planted a long, tapered finger in its middle and announced, "Poolington right there."

"Right," he said. "And how do I get there?"

"Sothton is right here..." she moved her finger down the page, "which means you need to travel northwest to get there." She traced the line connecting the two towns.

Dr. Red smiled. "Thank you. You were most helpful." He patted her on the arm. She placed her hand on his and gave it a squeeze. He gave her a raised eyebrow but then gave her a nod and pulled his hand out from hers. After giving her a charming wink, he walked off, whistling a jaunty tune.

She watched him leave with a rather strange smile. It didn't appear to be a smile of relief. It was more of a... menacing smile--which probably has now alerted your suspicions.

Before we can ponder about that menacing smile of hers, the editor-in-chief peeked out of his office and whispered, "Is he gone?"

"He's just leaving," the reporter answered, still watching the evil doctor.

"Did you call the police?"

"They wouldn't catch him."

"Wha-what do you mean?"

"The last few who tried had their guns torn to shreds."

The editor-in-chief gaped in horror. He gulped and shook his head. "How do you know this?"

She turned to him and, for a moment, he thought he saw her eyes flash red.

"I just do." She grinned, sporting a wicked-looking set of teeth.

Somehow, Darrin had mustered up enough courage to knock on Mrs. Purn's door. Even more incredible, he managed to tell her when she opened the door and looked to be in one of her more unpleasant moods, "We have something important to tell you and uh—Aaron."

"Such as?" Mrs. Purn blocked the door imposingly and glared down at him. Derrick, who had found Darrin's shadow an excellent place to hide, shrank even further.

"Such as some evil doctor is going to kill Aaron," Darrin answered.

Her left eyebrow rose. "And how do you know this?"

"The newspaper," Derrick spoke up, still keeping within Darrin's shadow. "It said he blew up some cops' guns looking for him."

"You're sure that's what it said?" Mrs. Purn asked, zeroing in on Derrick like a heat-seeking missile.

"I think!" Derrick squeaked.

"This doctor... thinks he's some sort of supervillain? And he's coming after my son?" Without waiting for a reply, she growled, "I knew no good would come of that spider incident!"

"So what are you going to do?" Darrin asked.

She shifted her weight and pursed her lips in thought. Finally, she smacked her lips and replied, "We'll just not tell that so-called evil doctor that he's here. Don't let Aaron become... him."

"He's going to destroy this town looking for him!" Derrick cried, jumping out of the relative safety of Darrin's shadow. "He'll be calling his name!"

Mrs. Purn's eyes widened in panic. But then she brightened, "We'll go on vacation!"

Darrin and Derrick both gaped at her. "WHAT?" Darrin cried. "Run away and leave us at the mercy of an evil doctor?"

"It's not as if I asked him to come!" she snapped. "I'm just doing the smart thing and leaving before he finds us! You can do the same thing!"

"But we can't just leave!" Darrin protested. "He'll just keep hunting you until he finds you and..." He shuddered.

Mrs. Purn frowned at him. "What do you suggest then?"

The answer was pretty obvious but worth saying out loud. To really drive it home though, Darrin paused dramatically before he took a deep breath and said, "I think Superkid will have to fight him."

As for "him," Dr. Red was already on his way to engage in an epic battle with our diminutive hero, driving in an automobile that appeared to be missing half its parts. Not the trendiest brand choice, but what can you do? He built it. It did have its good points: 60 miles to the gallon, quality radio just about anywhere, and low maintenance. Heck, if this whole mad scientist gig didn't pan out, he could likely get a job at General Motors. This rattletrap was doing a heck of a job getting him to the site where he would do battle with the mysterious Superkid.

Not doing so great at its job was the crude map he had drawn. So far it had gotten him lost down old, abandoned roads; inside dark, creepy woods; and up steep, craggy cliffs before he finally realized he was holding it upside down. He had to backtrack all the way to the interstate that would take him to Poolington.

"At least, I hope this will take me to Poolington!" he grumbled, giving the wheel an irritable jerk. "And that Superkid better be there! I'm going through a lot of trouble to find this creep!"

He glanced over at his odd weapons lying in the passenger seat and smiled. He patted them and muttered ominously, "But if he's there, I'm sure it will all be worth it."

The town raced frantically to leave town before the evil doctor's arrival. They weren't quite sure when that would be, but being the day after his first attack, they weren't taking any chances.

But while everyone was packing their possessions into their vehicles, there was one batty, old lady who was spending her time on other things... more important things.

This batty lady was named Mrs. Terrell. She was sitting at her sewing desk working on a lion costume... that's right, a lion costume. You know, the kind you'd wear on Halloween or on a "Wizard of Oz" musical. What exactly she was doing with this lion costume, we'll soon find out.

Mrs. Purn suddenly dashed into the room, panting. "Everybody ready?"

"Just about," Mrs. Terrell replied cheerfully, tying off a stitch.

Mrs. Purn glanced around the room. She cried in dismay, "You're supposed to have your stuff packed!" seeing Mrs. Terrell's things still in their places.

"I decided to make Superkid a costume," she explained, holding up the lion outfit. I did mention that she's batty, right?

Mrs. Purn frowned. "Aaron won't need it, Mrs. Terrell."

"But all superheroes need a costume!"

"Aaron is not a superhero! And he'll never be if I can help it."

Mrs. Terrell warned her, shaking her finger the way old ladies do it best, "You're restricting your child's potential."

"My child's potential? He almost got himself killed by that giant spider!"

"I'm sure all superheroes need a little practice in the beginning."

"A little practice?" Mrs. Purn sputtered in disbelief. "If it hadn't been for dumb luck, he wouldn't have even survived!"

This was getting to be dangerously close to spelling the end for Superkid's career as a vigilante. Fortunately, Derrick chose this critical moment to poke his head into the room, binoculars hanging from his neck, and announce, "Strange-looking car carrying a single male passenger wearing a doctor's coat heading straight for us. Estimated time of arrival: fifteen minutes."

This resulted in a mad scramble for both women. Mrs. Purn grabbed the sewing machine and Mrs. Terrell grabbed the costume, which she flung at the startled eleven-year-old.

"That's his costume!" she cried. "Hurry!"

Derrick pulled it off of himself, examined it critically, made a face, and then dashed away.

"Welcome to Poolington," Dr. Red read as he passed the sign. He peered around the town as he drove through it, reading the signs on the buildings: Poolington Bakery... Poolington Post Office... Poolington Elementary... Poolington Junior High... Poolington Police Department...

"Small town," he commented. "And quiet."

He pulled into an empty driveway, parked, and then climbed out of the car, grabbing his two unusual but destructive weapons on the way.

"It's quiet all right," he said again as he turned, glaring suspiciously into the dark houses. "...too quiet."

He whirled and blasted a window with the blue beam of his large gun. The window turned purple, shattered, and then came down like deadly tinkling sleet.

"Oh Superkid!" he called as he strolled out into the street. "Come out, come out, wherever you are!" He blasted a house, which sent pieces of wood and brick flying.

"I know this isn't a ghost town!" he yelled. "Everything is in too good of shape!" He blasted a green lawn, which erupted into a mini-volcano of grass and dirt.

"Where are you hiding?"

His next blast sent a huge evergreen tree into someone's newly refurbished living room like a Christmas-themed missile. By the way, what Christmas parasite is explosive? A missile-toe! Ha! Get it?...Never mind.

"Somebody warned you all that I was coming, didn't they?" he yelled, blasting yet another house. "So now you're all hiding, trying to make me think this place is empty! Either that or you..." That's when it suddenly hit him.

"You ran away." He burst into laughter. "I don't believe it. You, the Superkid who defeated my monster, ran away! You coward!"

Laughing maniacally, he blasted things at random.

"You ran from me!" Bits of a tire swing went tumbling down the street. "A giant spider didn't scare you away, but little, ol' Doc Red sent you all running! Ha!" He blasted a door off its hinges—and then the hinges followed.

"But I will find you!" He targeted a kiddie's tricycle and it soon needed more than "some assembly required."

"I will find you eventually, Superkid!"

"Well, I'm right here," said a voice behind him.

Dr. Red whirled around and then stopped short.

I'm sure we've all had this experience. We finally get to meet our big hero and then we find out they're... much different than we imagined and not usually in the pleasantly surprised way. Don't worry though. When you meet me I'll be even taller, handsomer, and cleverer than you've ever imagined.

But Doctor Red wasn't quite prepared to meet his hero—or rather, his nemesis. He gaped. Then finally he said, "You're shorter than I expected."

Superkid cringed. "You know something? I get the nasty feeling that I'm going to hear that a lot." And he was indeed going to hear that a lot.

The doctor took in the rest of his shorter-than-expected nemesis. "And, uh... I was expecting your costume to be more..."

Superkid glanced down and saw his point. After all, he was wearing a lion suit with a large yellow "K" sewn onto the chest—not really the epitome of epic costumes. But if there's one thing we're learning in this issue it's that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover. Especially this book.

He replied, "Oh yeah, this is just something Mrs. Terrell threw together at the last minute. After this, she's going to make a more impressive one."

"Maybe I should come back later. I'd hate to embarrass you... well, any more than you already are."

"No, that's all right. I'd hate to have wasted your time in getting over here since I assume your lair is quite far. Plus..." Superkid added with a grin, "it would actually be pretty funny to see a guy getting beat up by a kid in a lion costume, don't you think?"

Doctor Red smiled malevolently. "But you'd have to get past my weapons first." He raised his guns.

"That shouldn't be too hard," Superkid assured him.

"Oh really? Tell me, have you ever been blown up and tossed aside by a beam of light?" The evil doctor pressed a button on his larger gun and lights began flashing on it as it whined to life.

"Obviously I haven't," replied Superkid. "Nor do I intend to." He bent his legs, ready to spring.

"There's a large gap between intentions and reality, my short friend," said the evil doctor and pulled the trigger.

Superkid dove to the side just before the beam buzzed past him. He bounced into the air, kicking up his legs to avoid the next beam that flashed under his legs.

"Wow," said Dr. Red. "You're quick, I'll say that for you." He fired again.

Superkid dove behind a bike just as a section of the sidewalk launched itself at the mad doctor.

"Come on, Superkid," the evil doctor laughed. "Are you just going to keep running away from me?" He fired another beam.

"I'm not going to run straight at your blaster," our hero replied, dashing away from the bicycle which was turning purple. It fragmented with a shrill screech and launched at the doctor.

"Well, you're not stupid then," said the diabolical medical professional. He took aim and fired. Superkid ducked and the beam hit a rusty old pickup. Superkid was on his feet, knowing that the evil doctor would be pointing his gun at him. But he was distracted when the old pickup fragmented with a shrill screech. He realized a second afterward what was going to happen and began to move. But then the truck fragments shot toward him. Most of it flew past him as he was able to get out of the way in time, but a side mirror beaned him right in the head. He stumbled drunkenly as his nemesis took aim.

"Nice knowing you..." said the maniacal medical professional, "...Superkid." Then he fired.

The beam shot from his gun and hit Superkid square on the chest. Our hero gasped and stared at the purple spot, which slowly began to spread.

"And so mourns his fans and family..." the malicious doctor recited in mock solemnity, "as the great Superkid awaits his doom..."

"No!" cried our youthful hero as he swatted the spreading purple spot as though beating back flames.

"He shall be remembered though he had only been with us a short time..." Dr. Red continued. "But it consoles us to know that he went the way he wanted to... with a bang!"

Right on cue—I love when we get the timing right!—Superkid exploded, sending yellow and orange scraps of cloth at the evil doctor.

But could it be? Could it really be that after only one epic battle our hero was done for? Couldn't there have been some convenient miracle that somehow spared Superkid from this rather harsh fate (and me from a possible ratings issue)?!

"Goodbye!" the bad doctor sobbed mockingly. "Goodbye, oh, Super—oh, what the?!"

The reason for this abrupt break in his mocking eulogy? Amazingly and wonderfully it was the sound of Superkid's voice, loud and clear! A voice that reverberated with his rage and was followed by these inspiring words, "My costume's gone! And I'm in my UNDERWEAR!" And I guess it also explains how he managed to survive.

Dr. Red wasn't at all pleased with it for a few different reasons. He defended himself, "Totally unintentional; I had no idea that would happen."

"You just keep your eyes closed, pal!" our costume-less hero snapped. "I'm going to find some shorts."

But rather than head toward his house for those shorts, an idea struck him and instead he snuck toward the evil but modest doctor. He slowly reached for the strange guns but was startled when Dr. Red said, "What are you doing?"

"Taking your toys away." Superkid slammed the heels of his hands against the butts of both guns. The pistol, being the lighter weapon, flew out of the doctor's hand and thudded to the ground behind him. The heavier weapon, however, the evil doctor managed to keep his grip on, which he swung around, smacking Superkid on the head.

"Try to steal my gun, will you?" he growled, swinging his head around but keeping his eyes closed. "You little cheater!"

"I was just trying to even the odds!" came Superkid's voice to his right. Red wheeled his gun in that direction and fired.

He realized he missed his target when he heard glass tinkling. He certainly didn't need the obnoxious boy's taunt, "Ha! You missed! Maybe I don't need to take your guns!"

"Are you suggesting that I'm too easy for you?!" he roared as he fired at the voice. "Put some clothes on and we'll see if I'm too easy for you!"

"All right, all right, keep your pants on while I get mine." Now it sounded like it was coming from inside a building. Dr. Red chanced a peek and then, seeing Superkid was not in sight, walked toward the house where he was sure he had heard the little snot's voice.

Meanwhile, in the house of Superkid, our hero was rummaging through the mess in his room for pants. He was alerted by an explosion downstairs that shook the house.

"Crap." He flung a toy army truck away and jumped to the closet where clothes spilled out. He churned through the clothes, murmuring, "Where are some pants?"

Three second later, he pulled out a pair of shorts so torn up that he had to wonder what animal had attacked his alter ego.

"These will have to do," he said after a moment's hesitation. After yanking them on, he grabbed a shirt and started to pull it over his head... and then he paused.

"Phew!" he exclaimed, wrinkling his nose. "Where'd this come from, the sewer?" Unfortunately, he could hear his nemesis clomping up the stairs, meaning he didn't have time to look for another shirt, so he pulled it on. He gagged at the smell but valiantly tried to ignore it. He turned to the door just as it cracked into tiny pieces and shot away.

"Are you dressed?" the doctor demanded from the demolished doorway, his eyes shut.

Ignoring the doctor's inquiry, Superkid rushed over, grabbed the gun, and elbowed Red right under his ribcage.

Red made an odd gasping noise that sounded like "Ah-boof!" and doubled over, using his elbows to clutch his inflicted stomach. He kept his hands firmly gripped on his gun as the hero tried to wrestle it from him.

"All right," the bad guy gasped angrily, "no more Mister Nice-Guy." He jerked the gun upwards from Superkid's grasp. In doing so, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The beam struck the top frame of the doorway and it turned purple. Superkid jumped backwards, tripping over the pile of clothes he had tossed. Fortunately, he had managed to escape the volley of wood chips that came from the doorframe. Dr. Red wasn't so lucky. He had looked up when he fired and so got a full face of slivers—so full in fact that he looked like a roaring mutant porcupine. And on top of that, the side frames fell on top of him, sending him sprawling into the room.

"Playtime's over, Doc," Superkid declared as he pushed himself to his feet and reached for the gun.

Playtime had been over for the doc before then and he was feeling murderous. With a roar of rage, he pushed himself up and swung the heavy gun like a bat, cracking Superkid in the face. Our hero collapsed. The doctor stumbled from the momentum of his swing, accidentally pulling the trigger.

The beam buzzed over Superkid's head and hit the closet door that he had left ajar. It turned purple and then cracked into pieces—leaving the mirror that had been hanging on it without any support now—and launched at the evil porcupine-faced doctor. He turned his back to it, flaring out his coat, which helped to minimize their impact. Still, there were a few that were now digging into his back, exacerbating his fury even more.

"TIME TO DIE!" He aimed his gun at the diminutive hero.

The diminutive hero immediately threw a shirt at him and then crawled away as fast as he could. The doctor blasted the shirt and then punched through the resulting projectile. He aimed his gun again only to find another shirt flying at him. He blasted that and then found a pair of pants heading his way and he blasted that.

Superkid finally reached the mirror that had broken when it had fallen off the blasted closet door. He grabbed a piece and raised it in front of him like a shield.

The malicious doctor aimed instead for his shirt. The shirt exploded and launched toward Dr. Red, leaving an odorous trail behind it that made both the hero and villain gag.

"Where has that thing been?" Dr. Red choked. "The sewers?"

"It was the only thing I could find on such short notice!" Superkid protested while holding his nose. But now he had nothing to protect his skin from being blasted by Red's weapon. So holding the mirror piece over his chest, he began sidling toward the window.

"Oh no..." the doctor began before he was overtaken by a vicious coughing fit. By the time it had subsided, Superkid was leaning out the window.

"—you don't," he finished and pulled the trigger.

Superkid thrust his shield forward. The blue beam bounced back and hit the doctor's gun instead.

"Nooo!" Dr. Red saw his gun turning purple and hurled it at Superkid. It was inches from hitting the fearless kid's mirror when the gun shattered and reversed its trajectory. The doctor was forced to dodge and the pieces clattered against Aaron's desk before embedding themselves in the wall.

Red stared at the pieces in disbelief. "You destroyed my gun."

Our hero pumped his fist. "Score one for the good guy!"

Dr. Red whirled to face his nemesis and the look on his face would have killed him instantly... if looks could kill, of course. He roared, "You destroyed my gun!" and then charged toward Superkid. Superkid turned to the window and started to climb out, but the evil doctor grabbed his shoulder and yanked him back in. Then he threw the diminutive hero onto the floor. It was fortunate that all of his clothes cushioned him! But before he could get up, the evil doctor grabbed his feet, swung him around, and launched him at the wall. Superkid used his hands to soften the impact but he still hit hard enough to see stars.

Dr. Red marched over for another attack, reaching down for our hero's legs. Our fearless hero brought in his legs and then kicked the evil doctor in his elbows. The evil doctor stumbled forward and Superkid kicked him in the chest, knocking him onto his hindquarters.

Superkid kicked himself upright and stepped toward his fallen nemesis. With an evil smile he yelled, "Elbow drop!" and threw himself down at his nemesis with his elbow jutting out like a wing.

Dr. Red threw out his hands to stop him, but Superkid's momentum drove him past the malicious man's defenses, hitting him just below the ribcage. All the air left the doctor's lungs in a loud "Oomph!" and he fell onto his back, cushioned by Aaron's clothes. Superkid then scrambled to his feet and then planted a foot firmly on the evil doctor's chest. He asked, "Give up?"

Red glared at him and gasped, "Never!"

Superkid shook his head sadly, "Bad guys like you never know when to quit," and then put more weight onto his foot.

"And snot-noses like you," gasped the bad guy, "always think they're so clever and witty when they're not."

Superkid's eyes narrowed. "Okay, now that was just mean."

The evil doctor made no move to apologize. Just then, a shout came from downstairs, "Superkid! Superkid, where are you?"

"In here! I've got Dr. Red right where I want him!"

"Who's Doctor Red?" asked a second voice.

"He's that guy who was—AH CRAP!"

Doctor Red had just sucker-punched Superkid in the thigh, causing him to collapse next to the angry doctor. They were now face to face. And what else would the evil doctor do in the face of such opportunity than punch his nemesis' face? Our hero reeled backward from the pain, landing on that ever-present pile of clothes on the floor. Both a blessing and a curse, for while it did cushion his fall, it also made it difficult for him to find purchase to get back to his feet. That's how Doctor Red managed to get his diabolical hands on our fearless hero after stomping over. He lifted Superkid by the neck into the air.

"You've annoyed me for the last time," he growled and brought back his fist.

Before the malicious doctor could follow through with his potentially devastating knockout punch, the door slammed open. He whirled around in surprise and spotted two boys gaping up at him.

"Are you Doctor Red?" asked Derrick.

Somewhat nonplussed, Dr. Red answered, "Correct."

"Oh, you must be who Superkid was talking about," Darrin said. He looked around the room. "By the way, where is he?" All they could see was the doctor standing with one of his arms behind the door.

"You mean him?" Red asked with a nasty grin as he swung the unfortunate hero from behind the door. Superkid was slowly turning red in the face and kicking his legs feebly.

The two boys gasped. Then Derrick demanded, "Hey! Let him go!"

"Or else what?" the menacing doctor sneered.

"Or else this!" cried Derrick and slammed into the evil villain as hard as he could. The three of them crashed into (where else?) the pile of clothes. As they all struggled to get to their feet, Darrin—who had been hanging by the doorway—rushed into the room and pulled Superkid and Derrick to their feet. "Come on!" he cried and turned toward the door.

"Oh no you don't!" cried Dr. Red, grabbing Superkid's shoe as he was making his escape. The shoe popped off, sending the hero flopping forward and the villain floundering backwards. Darrin and Derrick immediately grabbed their friend's arms and began to clumsily drag him out the door. Doctor Red rolled onto his stomach and lunged for his nemesis's leg but missed. So then he chucked the shoe. It clipped Derrick in the ear, who yelped and dropped Superkid's arm to clutch his ear in pain.

Superkid scrambled to his feet and the evil doctor did the same. Superkid ran out the door with Red in hot pursuit. Red caught up to Superkid, slamming into him like a quarterback and the two of them went tumbling down the stairs like a ball of cartoon characters.

"Come on!" Darrin cried, grabbing Derrick's uninjured ear and dragging him along, ignoring Derrick's cries of pain.

Meanwhile, the battling duo had hit the bottom--quite hard too. They would be sporting more than a few bumps on the head by the end of the day. But in defiance of the average person's pain tolerance, the two continued scuffling. Both were battling to gain the advantage, first with Superkid on top and then Dr. Red.

Just then, the front door burst open with a loud bang and a grating voice commanded, "FREEZE!" A force of law enforcement officers pointed their guns at Superkid and the evil doctor.

Superkid leaped to his feet and backed away from his nemesis. His nemesis climbed to his feet with his hands raised.

Then he seized our hero with a thick arm around his neck and yelled, "Drop the guns or this kid gets it!"

They did as they were told. Then Officer Pamerin said, "Now let the kid go."

The malevolent doctor grinned. He gave the fearless kid's neck a squeeze, making him gasp in pain, and then dropped him before charging at the police.

The officers attempted to scatter, but they weren't quite fast enough to avoid being bowled over. With all of them now on the ground, the evil Doctor Red made his getaway.

"After him!" cried Officer Pamerin as he reached for his gun. He had to pull it out from under Officer Chuble and by the time he had it and was on his feet, Dr. Red had vanished.

"Well," he sighed, scratching his head with a grim look on his face. He turned to the three boys who had come outside. "Probably the best thing to do now is to hide you all."

"Hide?" Superkid cried indignantly. "I'm not hiding! In fact, I'm going to follow him and beat the snot out of him some more!"

"But how?" Officer Pamerin cried. "He's already gone!"

Superkid pointed to a strange metal fragment on the road and replied, "We just follow the trail."

After finding another shirt--one that didn't smell like sewer—Superkid led the way on bicycle while the cops followed in their cruiser. He was following the trail of metal fragments and flakes of paint on the road left by Dr. Red's dilapidated home-made vehicle.

Dr. Red wasn't aware of the pursuit nor of the unintentional trail he was leaving behind, but he also wasn't so naïve to believe he was flying free just yet.

"That little creep... actually humiliated me... and enjoyed it too! Enjoyed it so much he's going to chase me down to humiliate me some more," he snarled. His temper wasn't much improved by the wood chips protruding from his face. He was plucking them out one by one. Not very comfortable.

He continued to vent his frustration. "He probably thinks he's going to take me by surprise! But he'll be very mistaken because nobody messes with the evil Dr. Red! Not even that little nuisance called Superkid!"

He jerked the wheel onto a lonely road that led to his secret lair and added with a snort, "Superkid... what kind of a superhero name is that?"

Our fearless hero skidded to a stop at an intersection where the trail of metal scraps and paint flakes changed course. Planted inside the angle was a sign:

LONELY ROAD

The police cruiser pulled up next to him. The cops leaned out the window and read the sign as well. Officer Pamerin murmured, "Well, what do you know? If I'm right, there should be an old, abandoned warehouse just down here. That might be where that villain is hiding."

"Typical," our hero replied. He took off, calling over his shoulder, "Meet you there!"

The evil doctor screeched to a halt, causing scraps of metal from his rattletrap to hit against his hideout with brain-rattling clangs. He leaped out of the vehicle and hurried into his lair, his lab coat flying behind him.

"I must prepare for Superkid's arrival," he said to himself, "a nice warm welcoming." He headed straight for his cupboards.

"A little of this..." He grabbed a tube full of sky-blue liquid.

"And a little of this..." He pulled out another test tube, this one full of gray powder.

"Oh, and let's not forget this..."

He pulled out tubes, bottles, beakers, and even a rusty old soup can and then dumped them all onto the table.

"Now we pour some of this in..." A strange yellowish goop like curdled milk went into an empty jar. "And some of this..." Gray powder was sprinkled in, causing the yellow goop to erupt into a chorus of burps. Next was added the sky-blue liquid, which caused that foul mixture to emit an eerie giggle like a little girl in one of those horror shows.

More potions and powders were added and a few zaps from a spoon-like gizmo went in too. A sprinkle of red mist from a pencil-shaped gadget and the final result was a green liquid with tiny purple bubbles clinging to the sides of the beaker. That diabolical doctor gazed in awe.

"Looks a bit like soda," he commented and laughed. From his breast pocket he withdrew a syringe.

"Time for the doctor to give the patient his shot," he chuckled and stuck the needle into the deadly concoction. When he had filled the syringe, he pulled it out and examined it in the light.

He was startled when the door clanged open and a small figure stepped in. Dr. Red wheeled to face the intruder, hiding the syringe behind his back.

"You came sooner than I expected," he said calmly.

"Yeah, well, your check-up is overdue," Superkid replied.

The evil doctor made a face. "Maybe you'd better leave the doctor wisecracks to me from now on."

"Fair enough. I'm more of a butt-kicker anyhow," said Superkid, walking towards him.

Dr. Red tensed for action but forced calm into his voice. "How'd you get here so fast?"

"I biked. I couldn't let you get away, so now I'm finishing up."

"What do you mean by that?"

Superkid explained, "I'll beat you up, tire you out, and then the cops can come in and take you away."

"Oh yeah? Let's see about that, shall we?" The mad doctor shot an arm for him but Superkid dodged to the right and threw his shoulder into Red's side. The evil doctor grunted and stumbled but quickly regained his footing and lunged again.

Superkid slapped his arm away, jumped backwards, and taunted, "What's the matter? Not as evil without your weapons?"

"I'm about to show you just how evil I am," said the doctor with a chilling smile.

"With what? I destroyed your weapons," said Superkid, dancing dangerously close. "So what are you going to do?" He topped that with a lunge meant to tease his nemesis.

It was just what the evil doctor was waiting for. "This!" he cried, snatching the fearless kid's arm and stabbing him in the back with the syringe.

Superkid gasped in pain. Dr. Red smiled as he pushed down on the plunger, forcing the toxin into Superkid's bloodstream.

Dr. Red stepped away to watch the twelve-year-old die. "You have just been injected with an interesting poison. It is a toxin that instigates the formation of CO2 bubbles in your bloodstream, preventing oxygen from reaching your heart and brain. Eventually, this will kill you."

Superkid didn't answer—couldn't answer, busy as was coughing and gasping weakly—clutching his throat—falling to his knees.

"My, my, how much we've learned from each other in only one day," Dr. Red sighed. "I must admit though, I didn't expect this to end so soon." He grinned down at the suffering kid. "Maybe we should have waited. Not just for your costume but for training as well... ah well... pity."

"I'm sure they'll have some nice things to say at your funeral," he continued. "Such as 'he was brave, loyal, willing to risk his life for others, had a cheerful disposition...'"

Superkid's coughs began to sound like choking sobs.

"But he threw away his life," the doctor continued, "by challenging the evil Doctor Red. Who will protect us now? Who?" He threw up his hands in mock despair.

Then he laughed, "Goodbye again, Superkid!"

Superkid took one last gulping breath and then...

BUUUUUUURP!

Superkid looked surprised. He smacked his lips. Then he grinned, "Wow, that feels much better!"

Red's mouth dropped open. "Impossible!" he roared and lunged at Superkid, who countered the lunge by head-butting him in the stomach.

"Oomph!" Dr. Red doubled over and fell on his end. Superkid grinned down at him, amazed at how good he felt despite the "poison" coursing through his veins. Maybe it wasn't poison after all.

"You should be dead!" Dr. Red hissed. "That poison should have killed you!"

Superkid shrugged. "Maybe you got the ingredients mixed up."

The evil doctor growled, "But it must have done something to you! Do you feel strange at all?"

"Maybe a little bit stronger," replied our fearless hero, flexing his arm. "Maybe you gave me superhuman strength by accident."

"Let's find out then!" The villain grabbed the hero by his shirt, hauled back and punched Superkid square in the face. Whatever that potion did, it didn't seem to have increased his pain threshold. It still hurt like heck so Superkid recoiled, cradling his face and trying to push away from Dr. Red. But the villainous doctor yanked him back and buried his fist this time into the hero's stomach.

"Ungh!" Superkid gasped, his wind knocked out of him. That very wind blasted onto Red's face. And the reason I point that out is because it caused the evil doctor to react violently. He clutched his own face and yelled in pain, "Your breath! It's burning my face!"

Superkid took the opportunity to scramble away though he couldn't let that offense slide. "I brush every day! It can't be that bad!"

"No! I mean your breath is like a furnace blast! I think you burned off my eyebrows!" Now if you remember, Dr. Red was immune to minor burns so that breath that Superkid had blasted onto his face must have been cooking!

Superkid was impressed with this implication. So the potion had done something to him after all!

He grinned. "Cool! I've got superpowers!"

"Oh, stop smirking. They're not even that impressive." With plenty of fight still left in him, the villainous doctor lunged once again at our hero, determined to finish him the good, old-fashioned way. But Superkid was ready for him this time, for he jumped backwards.

If only he had looked before he leaped because that was when he knocked his head. It left him pretty dizzy—and vulnerable. But fortunately, he had knocked his head into a shelf full of precariously perched pitchers of potions, which wobbled wickedly. Fortunate because it distracted Dr. Red.

"No!" Dr. Red lunged yet again--this time for the shelf to prevent the bottles from falling and shattering. After all, it was his life's work in those small glass beakers and bottles! And he almost succeeded too. But he missed a bottle—a short, fat one full of lime-green syrup. It shattered on the concrete, splattering its contents on Dr. Red's sneakers, causing them to swell up like popcorn.

"YOU IDIOT!" the angry doctor screamed as he made sure all of the potions were settled back on the shelf. Superkid took advantage of this by dodging past him and sprinting for the door. He yanked the door open and dashed out. But then, to his shock, he felt Red grab his shoulder. Man, this evil, crazy, maniacal, mad scientist was fast!

But he had made it, for just as the mad—mad, MAD!—scientist grabbed him, a line of police raised their guns.

"FREEZE!"

Dr. Red immediately turned tail and ran back into his lair. The police and Superkid went after him all at the same time. The result was a mess: everyone tripped over each other, pushed each other in every direction (except towards the door), and got in each other's way.

Superkid was the first to reach the door. He spotted Dr. Red running across the warehouse and chased after him.

Dr. Red heard the youthful vigilante. He glanced back and scowled. Then he made a beeline for the shelf full of potions, jammed the heel of his hand on the underside of the shelf, and sent the potions flying into the air. The bottles all shattered on the ground and the mixtures combined with a loud hiss and began spewing thick black smoke, effectively covering Red's escape.

"He's getting away!" Superkid yelled over his shoulder and ran faster. He jumped through the wall of smoke... or rather tried to but instead smacked into it and bounced off! It was like a solid brick wall!

Superkid shook his head and blinked in surprise. The police eventually caught up to him, all of them out of breath.

"What happened?" Officer Pamerin gasped.

"He got away. Used smoke that's like a solid wall!" Superkid pointed at the seemingly fluid smoke. One of the officers walked up to the smoke and extended his hand. His hand stopped at the smoke and wouldn't go through. It just rode along the ripples of the smoke.

"He's right," the officer replied. "We can't pass through."

"We've got to get to the other side of the building," said Superkid and immediately turned toward the door. The officers followed behind him, trying their best to keep up. They ran outside, dashed around the warehouse, and skidded to a stop.

The evil doctor was nowhere to be seen.

"He escaped!" Superkid grabbed his ears in fury. That's when he spotted something flapping on the rear door. He approached it slowly and saw it was a small, yellow sticky note with words scrawled hastily on it. He yanked the paper off the door and read:

I will get you someday, Superkid!

He muttered, "Not if I get you first."

He turned to Officer Pamerin and showed him the note. Pamerin read it and then said, "It looks like he got away then. If you want, we could provide you with some protection..."

"No, thank you," Superkid responded. "This is between him and me. Let him come. I'll beat him once and for all."

He had a hard glint in his eye as he turned toward the horizon. Dr. Red was somewhere out there. Keeping a low profile until things cooled down. Lurking in the shadows. Just waiting for his chance at revenge...

# Issue # 4: The Black Belt

It had been several days and there were plenty of signs of the mad doctor—if you believed every paranoid kook that came up to you. Mrs. Oreal claimed to have seen him in the arts-and-crafts section of the Poolington Shopping Center. Mr. Ang claimed to have seen him breaking into his garden shed late the other night. And some youngsters claimed they saw him haunting the graveyard!

Everyone had some pretty wild stories about their encounter with the nefarious Dr. Red. But they were nothing compared to the rumors about Superkid's epic battle with the evil medic: Superkid defeating an army of the madman's mutant monsters--Superkid battling the madman who was inside a giant mecha--Superkid defeating the madman in a game of chess...

Like I said, wild stuff. Wild enough for Mrs. Purn to increase her already extreme measures. Policemen now regularly patrolled her block and she kept Aaron under lock and key. Poor Aaron could only guess at the reasons.

Darrin and Derrick couldn't clue him in, seeing as how he wasn't allowed to talk to either of them.

"Poor Aaron," Darrin said sympathetically. "Being alone and constantly watched by his mom."

"And she's probably a mean teacher too," Derrick added. Aaron was now home-schooled.

Darrin hung his head and said in a miserable tone, "It's our fault, you know."

Derrick protested, "How is it our fault?"

"If we had been better friends—if we hadn't teased him so much, he probably wouldn't have snapped. He probably wouldn't have a split personality."

Derrick threw up his hands. "How were we supposed to know that would happen? We were just messing with him!"

Darrin just shook his head.

But were they truly to blame? Was it really their teasing that shaped Aaron into Superkid? Could they really have prevented the crazy things that had happened to their town: the giant spider's rampage and the mad doctor's attack? Could they really be responsible for turning a peaceful, boring, little town into a battleground for the greatest clashes of good and evil? It didn't matter. Whatever the case, the excitement wasn't going to let up anytime soon. For you see, there was someone on the way who was going to add to the insanity.

Her name was Jennifer Ambers.

She didn't realize that she was on her way to creating more chaos in the punch-drunk town. In fact, before she had set out for Poolington she had browsed online maps, looking for a quiet, little town to settle down in. Poolington had sounded cozy to her so she had packed her stuff into a duffel bag, gotten into the car, and started on her way. Nobody had told her the town had recently become a target for villains, monsters and mayhem.

Now while she's blissfully driving toward the maelstrom of a town, I'll describe her to you.

She was a petite woman in her late twenties with blue eyes and shoulder-length blond hair. I'd advise you to hold off the blond jokes though. Sure she sounds plenty innocent but she was also a karate master and teacher.

Now I can hear some of you getting interested in her, but chances were she wouldn't be interested in you—especially if you're a guy.

That's right. She didn't like men. Actually, that's a polite way to put it. Kids, cover your ears.

SHE HATED THEM!

She considered them to be cocky, arrogant, immature idiots who did stupid things to show off. Of course, if she had seen me performing that awesome bike jump, she would have changed her opinion instantly, but ah well.

But she liked kids—particularly little girls. She would burst with pride when her female pupils demonstrated a successful shoulder throw on some admirer of hers who came to flirt. But I suppose her attitude was understandable, considering what her childhood was like. But we won't go into that now. The important thing is that she knows karate and will become a villain.

She arrived in Poolington. As she made her way through the streets, she thought, "What a charming, little town." She mistook the repairs being made on many of the buildings to be new homes going up. She parked in front of the Poolington Business Building and entered.

She approached a man who was reclining in a chair with his feet on the desk and reading a book. When she reached the desk, he glanced at her and then immediately sat up.

"I was wondering if I could set up a karate class here," she told the man as evenly as she could. Just because she didn't like men didn't mean she wouldn't try to be at least civil.

"Any particular place you had in mind?" the man responded, trying to look cool by casually flexing his arm.

Her eyes narrowed but she managed to keep her voice even. "What buildings are available?"

"Mmmmm... let's see..." He rummaged through his desk, keeping her pretty figure in his sightline. She never tried to flatter her figure--today she was wearing faded jeans and a button shirt over a white blouse. Yet that didn't prevent men from looking her over—another trait in men she found annoying.

He was concentrated on trying to watch her discreetly and nearly missed the map he was looking for. Hoping she hadn't noticed, he pulled it out and set it on the desk with great style... or so he thought. She could tell he was trying to impress her and she was, frankly, the opposite.

"Let's see..." He slid his finger around the map. "This building might be good for your classes. Uh, what kind are they?"

"Karate."

"Ahhh," the man leaned back with a sly smile. "I guess you would be... a black belt?"

"Eighth degree," she added a little threateningly.

The man didn't take the hint. "You know," he said, leaning on his elbow and giving her a sideways glance, "I practice a little martial artistry myself."

"Interesting," she muttered.

"I don't mean to brag, but I'm pretty mean with a nun-chuck." He suddenly whipped around imaginary nun-chucks and screamed nonsense, finishing with one hand over his shoulder and the palm of his other hand facing the karate woman.

"I'll bet you are."

"If you want, we could have a sparring session later. Give each other a few pointers."

"I would certainly love that."

He grinned goofily at her. She tapped her fingers against the desktop impatiently.

"Oh right." The man snapped out of his enchantment and tapped the building on the map. "Yeah, this might be a good place to hold your classes. Just allow me to get you the forms so that we can lease it to you..."

He was interrupted by screaming outside.

"What the..." She turned around and saw people running past the doors and screaming. "What's going on?"

"Must be another monster," the man answered suavely as he ducked under his desk.

She blinked in disbelief and muttered, " _Another... monster_?" She ran outside and turned toward the source of the people's fear.

"I'm cold-blooded!" the monster declared as it skittered through the streets. "And I'll have you all for dinner!" It laughed, which sounded like an old geezer wheezing.

"A giant lizard... that talks?" she wondered to herself. "Where did it come from?"

That giant lizard swung its head, yelling, "Boo!" at terrified citizens and wheezing amusedly to itself. Then it spotted Jennifer, noticing that unlike the rest of the citizens she wasn't running away. So it skittered to her and lowered its bulbous eyes to her.

"Ello there, ma'am," it chuckled. "I'm a cold-blooded monster and I'm going to eat you."

"Is that so?" she responded coolly. "You're really that cold-blooded?"

The giant lizard rolled its eyes awkwardly. "Well, it's more of a joke, see. I'm a reptile, which is classified as cold-blooded."

"Oh, now I get it." She wasn't smiling though. "You're a lizard so you're cold-blooded, but you also eat people, which is a cold-blooded thing to do."

The lizard beamed. "Yeah, exactly!"

"I hope you can fight better than you can joke!" yelled a voice.

The lizard rolled its eyes to locate the source of the voice. And it located the source all right. The source, in fact, threw itself right into the reptile's eye!

"Aaaack!" the colossal reptile scrambled backwards and then shook its head furiously, flicking its tongue over its eye, trying to deliver relief.

Jennifer watched the action dumbfounded. She didn't believe what she had just seen! You know it couldn't have been the giant, talking lizard that fazed her. She had rebuffed its attempt to deliver a good joke, after all. But what had fazed her was that she had seen what had gone into the monster's eye. And what had gone into the monster's eye was some kid! A kid in an orange and yellow costume—with a cape! What did he think he was—a superhero? He wasn't even tall enough to ride the good rides at the amusement park! He could get himself killed!

But before she could move to save his hide (and then whip it), the kid was flung from the lizard's eye. He hit the ground in a somersault and then sprang up onto his feet.

"Ta da!" he said, spreading his arms out.

She grabbed his shoulders and moved him to safety behind her. "Are you okay?"

"Never better!" the youthful vigilante cried. "As a matter of fact, I was feeling a little stiff without any evildoers to whup."

Jennifer frowned sternly. "I don't think you realize the danger you had put yourself in."

Our hero looked at her curiously. "You wouldn't happen to be new in town, would you?"

Before Jennifer could answer, the scaly monster hissed, "You will pay for that." It had finally calmed itself down enough to glare down at the two humans, licking its sore eye.

Superkid spun to face it. "How much is it going to cost? I've only got ten bucks and ninety-eight cents."

"Oh ha ha," grumbled the reptilian fiend, "and you said my joke was lame."

Jennifer turned to our hero and hissed, "What are you doing?"

Superkid ignored her and said to the scaly monster, "Actually, I said, 'I hope you can fight better than you can joke.' And you know, I don't think you can."

The lizard sucked in a wheezy breath. "Are you insulting me?"

"Well, I'm not inviting you to a tea party."

The lizard growled and said, "That's it! Time to teach you respect!" and with that it shot out its tongue and smacked our hero in the forehead.

He blinked in surprise. He reached up and wiped the saliva onto his hand, which he studied. Then he burst into laughter. "Are you serious?"

At that moment, the lizard realized how pathetic that attack was and it rolled its eyes in embarrassment. Trying to save face, it responded in as menacing a voice as it could manage, "That was a warning."

"You've got to be kidding!" cried the fearless kid and burst into laughter again. Even Jennifer--a woman who made a nun look giddy--started to smile.

The lizard growled, "Don't laugh at me. Or I will make you pay."

But Superkid continued to laugh, doubled over and stumbling around. Jennifer watched him somewhat concerned. The lizard may not have seemed much of a threat, but it was a lot bigger than this kid was. She wondered if she needed to bring him under control before things got out of hand.

But then things got out of hand. The lizard's growl had gotten louder and louder until it finally roared, "YOU WILL PAY FOR LAUGHING AT ME!" and it charged toward Superkid. Jennifer gasped and then threw herself at Superkid, pushing him out of the raging reptile's path just in time.

But then it twisted itself back toward the two and snapped its jaws. Jennifer raised her arm to fend it off and gasped in pain when she found it clamped in the lizard's teeth. The gargantuan reptile flipped her away, sending her tumbling down the street. The monster then turned to Superkid who had rolled backwards and was now on his feet.

"That's no way to treat a lady!" Superkid yelled, his face deadly serious.

The giant reptile turned back in surprise. "That was a lady?"

Our hero took this opportunity to charge at the scaly fiend. But he had forgotten about lizards' amazing reflexes so he was batted away like a baseball when the lizard turned back to him.

"I swear I didn't..." the lizard was saying. Then it turned to where Superkid had tumbled onto someone's yard and yelled, "Hey! You were trying to cheat!"

"You hit a lady!" Superkid yelled as he stumbled to his feet.

"I didn't know! You all look the same to me." It skittered toward our hero. "I swear if I'd known that was a lady, I wouldn't have hurt her."

"You mean a monster like you has standards?" Superkid asked in surprise.

"That's right, you pesky little human," it hissed. "Maybe you think I'm a joke, but there are things that even I would never stoop to do, including hurt a woman."

Just then from behind the scaly monster, there was an indignant voice, "You would never stoop to do what?"

The lizard wheeled around to find the woman hissing through clenched teeth, her face red, her hair disheveled, and her arm bleeding.

It rolled its eyes awkwardly. "Are you the woman?"

She hissed back, "Do you have a problem with _the woman_?"

The lizard gulped. "It was an honest mistake. I was trying to go for him." It jerked its head to indicate Superkid, who was sneaking toward its tail. "Really, I would never try to hurt an innocent wo..."

It never got the chance to finish its apology. Jennifer was all over that scaly behemoth like flies in vinegar (whoever said you couldn't catch flies with vinegar has never even seen that stuff before!)

"You think you've got a problem with _the woman_?" she screeched as she jabbed the lizard in every tender spot it had. "I'll give you a real problem with _the woman_!"

The lizard thrashed in pain as it cried desperately, "Wait—ow!—I didn't mean—ow!—it like that—ow! Just—ow!—let me—ow!—explain—ow!"

"When I'm through with you," the irate woman snarled as she leaped onto its back and began jabbing, "you won't be able to have a problem with women ever again!" She finished this threat with a final jab to its spine and then jumped off. She stepped back to survey her work and bumped into Superkid. She turned and spotted him.

His mouth was open and his eyes were wide.

"What are you staring at?" she demanded.

Superkid shook his head. "Wow... that was amazing. I've never seen anyone fight like that before."

"It's called karate," she said.

"Would you teach me?" he asked.

She raised her eyebrows at him. "Teach you?"

"Yeah. See, lately this town has been under attack a lot. As its sole defender, it would really help if I could fight better."

"You, this town's sole defender?" she said incredulously. "You mean to say you actually are a superhero?"

Superkid thrust out his chest. "Yup. And believe it or not, I've actually got a few battles under my belt."

She looked him up and down, focusing on the gold insignia on his chest. "But aren't you a little short—I mean, young—to be fighting monsters?"

"The only complaints I've gotten from the monsters I've fought is how sore they're going to be in the morning," Superkid responded, dancing on his feet and jabbing the air. Then he grinned and spread out his arms. "So what do you say? Will you teach me?"

The karate woman thought about it. The lizard muttered, "Just what he needs: a more efficient way to deliver pain."

Ignoring the beast, Jennifer asked our hero, "Would your mother approve?"

"I'll talk to her about it," Superkid said evasively.

Jennifer hesitated. But at last she said, "Very well, I accept you as my pupil."

Superkid whooped, throwing his fist into the air. Then he declared, "Let all evil villains beware. Superkid's about to get even more dangerous!"

"Not if I can help it!" hissed the giant lizard as it wheeled around. It snapped at Superkid who leaped backwards. The karate woman jabbed its neck and it reacted with a squeal. Superkid ran to its head and jumped onto its snout.

"What are you doing?" Jennifer cried.

The fearless kid didn't answer. Instead he sucked in a big breath, looked the giant lizard straight in the eye, and then puffed out the biggest breath that he could.

The lizard's reaction was its most violent yet. Superkid was thrown when it wheeled around, screaming, "My eye! It's melting! I think I'm going blind! Gah!" The scaly behemoth charged as fast as it could back to where it came.

Jennifer hurried to her fallen charge. "Are you okay?"

It certainly hadn't been the most graceful way to end a battle but our charming young hero managed to grunt, "Feeling pretty good," as he struggled to sit. Jennifer wrapped her arm around his back and began to help him to his feet.

This could very easily have been mistaken as a romantic moment if you ignored the age gap between the karate woman and the heroic kid. This was exactly what the media did when they swooped in on the two.

"A hero wounded fatally during the battle with a massive reptile, and his faithful lover taking him home to recover," said a reporter as she scribbled it down. Then she turned to the pair who had looked up in surprise. "But tell us, Superkid, how did you defeat that monster?"

"Well actually, she did most of the fighting," said Superkid, pointing at Jennifer.

His modesty was lost on them. He hadn't even finished his answer when the next reporter asked, "How long have you two been together?"

Jennifer opened her mouth to make the correction, but another reporter cut in with another question for the fearless kid, "What's next for you?"

And so it went. Question after question was lobbed at Superkid while the reporters completely ignored Jennifer. She was finding it harder and harder to resist the urge to grab one of the reporters by the collar and hurl him into a telephone pole. How dare they ignore her and paint her as some damsel in distress! How dare they treat her inferior! Especially to a kid!

The kid was doing his best to set them straight. But using their training in the art of roundabout questioning, the reporters forced him to answer their questions in such a way that he had no choice but to admit he was a hero—not that he wasn't.

"You made sure that monster won't come back?" a reporter asked.

"I doubt it will, but uh..."

"This is your third battle won, correct?"

"Well, actually..."

"Will this victory be an effective message to other villains that you are not someone to toy with?"

"I suppose..."

It wasn't his fault. Really it wasn't. But still Jennifer couldn't help hating the kid for all the attention he was getting. She couldn't help but hate how the reporters were putting him on the pedestal while they gave her the shaft. She really couldn't help it...

And so it began. The seeds of antipathy for our hero had been planted in her heart.

The story in the papers the next day was one of terror and excitement—one that was sure to be a legend in Poolington. Unfortunately, containing the aspects of legends, most of the story wasn't really true. According to the Poolington News, it was a giant mutant turtle spewing fire that had kidnapped a beautiful maiden. Then Superkid came and rescued this helpless maiden by dropping the evil turtle into a vat of radioactive sludge--then the story speculated on whether the monster would make a dramatic return for an epic rematch, but that was beside the point. We know the true story. It was a giant lizard with bad taste in humor.

As pressing as was the concern for the accuracy of the type of monster, Jennifer was more concerned with the victim of the monster—the "helpless maiden."

"Reporters," she snarled, crumpling the paper into a wad. "Liars, every single one of them!" She tossed the wad into the wastebasket just as there was a knock on her door.

She sighed. "Come in."

The hero entered and said brightly, "Am I late?"

She glanced at the clock. "No. Actually, you're kind of early."

"Shall we begin then?"

She glared at Superkid, whose innocent smile became a concerned look. He asked, "What's the matter?"

She shook herself, realizing that it wasn't the kid's fault that the media had insulted her. In fact, looking back, he had tried to set the record straight.

She shook herself again, fixed a smile on her face and answered, "Sorry, I was just thinking." She posed herself in a karate stance and said, "Very well. Let us begin."

And begin they did. As every good master should, she taught him the basics first. After an indeterminate amount of time (because it would be utterly inconvenient for the villains to have to wait for his training to be completed before they could challenge him, by which time he'd be along in his years and they would have died of old age), he mastered the basics and was ready to move on to the advanced moves. After another indeterminate amount of time, he mastered these. He was Jennifer's best pupil—ever! She was quite impressed and even taught him some of her secret moves. Now he was a true crime-fighter—able to hold his own against any opponent...

Well, almost any opponent...

But hold on a moment. I'm getting ahead of myself. Opponent-wise, he was actually unsurpassed in his skills. Monsters came regularly into town, looking to try their luck at squashing the fearless kid, and all left in shame. They were nothing more than practice dummies to Superkid. To the media, though, each successive battle was a proven mark of Superkid's role as a superhero.

No one acknowledged his master's role in these battles even though she used the monsters to demonstrate techniques to her pupil. No one considered her worthy of their idolization. She was nothing more than the fearless kid's love interest. And it irritated her.

After each story depicting her as the helpless maiden, that irritation grew. Soon that irritation turned into jealousy... and soon that jealousy became full blown hate. She tried to control it. Tried to shrug it off. But day after day that hate grew and festered.

Until finally it happened.

It happened on a day that was like any other day. The sun was shining. The birds were singing. And the citizens were reading the latest of Superkid's escapades in the papers... Jennifer Ambers happened to be one of them.

"The nerve of those jerks!" she exploded. "I did most of the fighting on that giant centipede! But they made me, ' _Once again, the helpless victim of the ferocious monster'_! Do they think we women are not as good as men? That we are only meant to be helpless damsels in distress? Are we less than a mere kid?"

Just then, there was a knock on the door.

"And there's the big hero coming for the thanks he deserves!" she snapped, stomping to the door and yanking it open.

Our hero—who deserved every thanks that was possible to give to him—immediately backed off. He had heard the remark and the tone it had been made in, and he knew the kind of damage she could do—especially when she was in a rage.

"Uh—is today a bad day?" he asked cautiously from a safe distance, which was about a street's width.

"What do you mean?" she asked, trying not to sound angry.

"You sound like you could use a nap."

"What do you mean by that?"

"It's uh... what my mom does... when she's stressed."

The karate woman took a few deep breaths, releasing the tension in her. Then, at last, she let out a great sigh.

"It's okay," she said in a far calmer tone. "It's nothing. Come in..."

She was interrupted by screams.

"Now what?" she groaned, clapping a hand to her face.

Superkid turned and hurried into the street. He muttered to himself, "What giant animal is it this time?" When he reached the main street, the giant animal this time made him gasp.

"You're back!"

"And you're still here, I see," countered the giant spider. "Good. Now I can wreak my revenge. That dump truck was full of garbage! I trudged through that remorseless desert for weeks trying to find enough water to wash away the smell!"

"I guess you never found it," Superkid responded, wrinkling his nose.

The gargantuan arachnid sneered. "Still comedic as ever, I see. But be warned, Superkid, I won't go down so easily this time."

"Thanks for the warning," said Superkid, grinning mischievously. "Allow me to return the favor by warning you that I've learned some new moves."

The colossal crawler's brow rose. "Oh really? What ones?"

"Karate," Superkid responded and struck a stance.

"Karate?" the spider snorted. "Where'd you learn karate?"

"From me," said the karate woman as she stepped into view.

"Yeah, from her." Our hero flashed his master a dazzling smile.

"I see," the vile creeper chuckled, "and she probably made your costume, too." It eyed the yellow and orange costume with a sneer.

"Actually," Superkid corrected, "Mrs. Terrell made it—with a new feature. Just got it today."

The spider's brow rose. "New feature?"

"Yep." Our fearless hero was almost bouncing with excitement. "Watch this." He grabbed a thin hose dangling down his shoulder and puffed air into it. Suddenly his cape expanded into a balloon and began rising above his head. He puffed some more, expanding the balloon some more until, incredibly, it began to lift him off the ground!

"What the!?" both the beast and the karate master gasped.

But the fearless kid hadn't finished yet. He still had another surprise to reveal. He puffed air into the hose again.

This time, there was the sound of rushing air from two vents in his back, which pushed him at the colossal critter with jet-like speed. He stuck his legs out in front of him, which connected with the spider right in its soft, sensitive head.

The impact sent the giant arachnid bouncing onto its behind with a surprised, "Gah!" Superkid flipped backwards in the air and executed a perfect landing.

"How did you do that?" his flabbergasted master gasped.

"You mean the balloon thing?" responded our hero. His master had already seen him making a fool out of himself trying to perfect a backflip forever and ever, so she must have been asking about that. He explained, "Dr. Red accidentally gave me the ability to control the temperature of my breath. So I decided to make it useful and had Mrs. Terrell make a costume with a cape that could turn into a miniature hot-air balloon."

Jennifer shook her head. "That's amazing."

Superkid beamed. "I know, isn't it?"

The massive critter stumbled forward, rubbing its head with its foreleg, and mumbled grumpily, "Interesting power."

"A unique one, I would say," said the thermodynamic, aerodynamic, and just plain, old dynamic kid.

"Indeed," the spider agreed. "It's almost a shame I'm going to crush you."

Our hero snorted. "That's what you said last time and you got clobbered."

"I'm a bit smarter than last time," the monster replied, aiming its abdomen at the kid.

"Quite an edge there—except for one thing."

"What's that?" the spider asked and immediately fired a string of web. The dastardly arachnid had hoped that this surprise attack would catch Superkid off-guard. But it had underestimated our youthful vigilante. He had deftly dodged it with a leap and a twirl (which is manlier than it sounds).

He now turned to the dastardly arachnid and said with a grin, "I've gotten smarter too."

The giant hairy creature growled in annoyance. Then it grinned as it aimed its spinnerets at the twelve-year-old hero. "So you've learned a few tricks?"

Superkid blew into his tube, ballooning his cape, which shot him into the air. "Yep!"

The spider's smile widened and its eyes narrowed slyly. "So have I." It shot another string of web at the airborne kid, but instead of letting it hit him, the spider caught the rope. Superkid watched a little puzzled as the spider flashed him a grin. Then suddenly the rope came up and cracked him on the head.

Superkid cried in pain as he clutched his head. Spots flashed in front of his eyes.

The evil arachnid chuckled. "Score one for the bad guy."

It gasped when it felt a sharp pain in its second right leg. Then there was another shock of pain to its second left leg. After that the rest of its legs experienced shocks of pain and it came crashing down. Then it felt what seemed suspiciously like a kick to the rear.

"Whun—the?" it grunted, trying to get back to its feet. Then it saw the karate woman leap into view.

"You," it growled. "You're that kid's master... taught him karate?"

"Precisely," said Jennifer, "and as his master, I am responsible for his protection."

"Then..." the evil critter grunted as it got to its feet, "I will have to deal with you as well."

"That's right," she growled, crouching in a fighting stance.

The evil arachnid brought its whip cracking down on the karate master—or rather, where she had been. She had dodged it with a cartwheel and now gave the spider a chop on the leg joint.

"Ungh!" The spider snapped its whip to the right. She dodged it as it whipped past her then grabbed it as it pulled away and used it to launch herself feet-first into the side of the spider's face.

"Aack!" the monster stumbled sideways and then collapsed.

Jennifer huffed in satisfaction. Then she glanced up at Superkid hovering several feet in the air, still cradling his head.

"Are you okay?" she called to him.

It was a few second before he responded, "That whip is mean! I think it gave me a few scars right next to my eye! But other than that, I'm okay."

"Let's see if we can bring down the monster. I'll try to take its whip, you keep it busy."

"Yes ma'am," said our hero with a salute. He yanked the hose on his shoulder, releasing air from his balloon, and dropped to the ground next to his master. Together they charged the behemoth as it was getting back to its feet.

It surprised the master and pupil when it snapped the whip at them, causing them to react by leaping backwards. It turned to face the two. Superkid skirted around to try to get behind the dastardly creeper, but it turned to keep its face to him and snapped the whip to stop him.

\--which was exactly the sort of distraction that Jennifer needed. With its attention on the costumed kid, she scooted around to its massive abdomen. She leaped onto a car parked on the side of the road and launched herself from there onto the gargantuan arachnid's back.

"What?!" the spider glanced behind itself and saw the karate woman balancing on its rump. With a snarl, it began spinning in a circle, throwing its legs out from the sheer speed. Jennifer was forced to drop and cling as tightly as she could to its hair.

Superkid took this as his chance to run in close to the monster. After gauging the speed of the spider's spin (try saying that three times fast!), he went into his own spin and then delivered a well-placed kick to the behemoth's pivotal leg.

It was like a bully tripping a nerd. The behemoth crashed to the ground, driving its face into the unforgiving asphalt where it lay groaning.

Jennifer immediately got up and hurried to its head. With a cry, she jabbed the back of the massive monster's head and it was immediately knocked unconscious. Chalk another victory for the karate team.

The official scorekeepers—the reporters—rushed in for congratulations.

"Isn't this the same giant spider you defeated before?"

"Have you killed it this time?"

"How many more monsters do you think you'll have to defeat before they realize not to mess with you?"

Jennifer dropped from the monster's head, determined that they were going to get the story right this time.

But it just wasn't fated to be, for when the reporters noticed her, one of them—a solidly built man with a handsome mustache (a combination that knocked most ladies over)—asked, "And how did this delicate damsel find herself in the clutches of this monster?"

That was the final straw. She finally snapped—finally had enough!

"I WAS NOT ITS VICTIM!" she screamed.

Everyone turned to her in shock.

But she wasn't done. She had quite a bit more steam to vent and vent she did, "I WAS NEVER THE VICTIM! I HELPED DEFEAT THOSE MONSTERS! BUT YOU PEOPLE COME ALONG AND WRITE RIDICULOUS STORIES ABOUT HOW I GOT IN THE MONSTER'S WAY AND SOME STUPID KID RESCUES ME! LIKE I'M SOME DELICATE DAMSEL! (At this, the solid man with the handsome mustache raised his equally handsome brow) LIKE SOME HELPLESS WOMAN!"

SHE TOOK A FEW—Sorry. She took a few gulping breaths and then continued, "I taught him how to fight! I taught him how to defeat those monsters! Everything he knows was taught by me! He knows karate because of me!"

"Karate?" asked a young and eager reporter. "So that's the style of fight he employed against that monster? What's his level?"

"Yellow," Superkid answered humbly. "She's a black belt. Much higher than me. A black belt."

But his master didn't hear his attempts to establish respect for her. She stooped down and snatched the whip still clutched in the spider's claws. Then she stood and snapped the air with the whip.

"Listen to me now! I am a black belt and don't any of you forget it!"

And no one did. In fact, that young and eager reporter scribbled the name on his pad and circled it several times for emphasis. It would end up appearing in a story where a seven-year-old kid defeated a ten-story monster and was about to celebrate his victory when the mother of the monster arrived to wreak vengeance, which was a lot tougher to beat because it had a black belt in karate. The editor-in-chief would, in a stroke of inspiration, decide to call this mother monster "the Black Belt" as a pun on the spider, the black widow, and the high-ranking karate belt. And that's how she became known as "the Black Belt."

But we're getting ahead of ourselves again. Right now, the irate woman continued, "You want to see how helpless I am? Wait until I'm finished with your beloved Superkid!" And she snapped the whip.

Reporters scattered, yelling in pain. This left Superkid wide open to receive the black belt's full wrath.

"Uh-oh," he said and ran.

She gave chase. She had longer legs than our diminutive hero and was soon close enough that she snapped the whip, which wrapped around our hero's leg. She halted and yanked on the whip.

Our hero's leg flew out behind him and he belly-flopped onto the asphalt, which was no more forgiving to the hero than it was to the monster. It was especially brutal to his stomach when the black belt began reeling him in.

Superkid knew he was no match for the karate master. If she got her hands on him, he'd be minced so neatly he'd fit in a shoebox. Fortunately he had an idea. He grabbed the hose on his shoulder and blew into it.

His cape ballooned and lifted him into the air. The black belt doubled her speed in reeling him in. Superkid blew more air into his balloon. He swung in the air to directly above his former master and then, incredibly, began to lift her!

As insensible as she was, the black belt knew she would have little advantage in the air. Sure she was strong enough to climb up and then beat the living daylights out of the kid, but that would leave her stuck in the air with no way of getting back down safely. So she gave her whip a shake to dislodge it from his leg and then glared up at the airborne kid, who was like a tiny bird in the sky.

"Get down here!" she screamed in frustration.

"Not until you calm down!" he yelled back.

"How can I calm down if every time we defeat a monster, I'm made its victim?" And you're made out to be the one always rescuing me?!"

"It's not my fault!"

"It's YOU who's always the hero! YOU who saves the day! YOU who rescues the damsel in distress, ME!" She snapped her whip at a mailbox, leaving a nasty gash in its metal body.

"But I'm not going to be the damsel in distress anymore! Let's see how your hanger-on media hounds like it when the helpless maiden becomes your worst enemy, Superkid! When we meet again, we will see who's better! We will see!" And with this dire threat, she stormed through the pack of media hounds trying to ask her questions. Only when she chopped a man in the stomach did they give her room.

But there was still one reporter who had enough gall to stand in her way. A woman in black: black shirt, black pants, black shoes, black hair—this woman was serious about black.

"So you've decided to become a villain?" she asked, poising her black pen over her white notepad (she wanted to have it black, but black ink against black paper is kind of hard to read).

The karate woman replied tetchily, "Who are you?"

The reporter smiled, showing long, pointy teeth. Jennifer was taken aback by this and felt a chill travel down her spine. When this woman in black reached forward and grasped her hand to shake, she shivered, for the hand felt cool—like stone. Not only that, Jennifer felt the strangest sensation rushing through her hand as though her thoughts were being siphoned through there.

"My name is Rachel Meranst," this unnerving woman said crisply. With a sly smile, she added, "I'm a reporter."

The karate woman's eyes glazed over and her voice took on an airy tone. "Really?"

"That kid being a nuisance?"

"Well, I may have misdirected my anger..."

"Misdirected your anger at a kid who upstages you all the time? Misdirected your anger at a kid who takes the glory which rightfully belongs to you?"

"You... have a point." The black belt couldn't think straight. It seemed easier to just agree with this strange woman.

Rachel's smile became very malicious. She gave one last shake of the karate woman's hand and said, "We shall expect you for a rematch with that upstart brat who has the audacity to believe he was your hero." She let go, gave a nod to the dazed black belt, and then strode toward the hero who was coming down from the air.

Jennifer blinked stupidly while she gathered her flimsy thoughts together. At last, she shook her head and glanced toward the reporter.

Who was that? Who is that woman?

She shuddered when she recalled the creepy smile and those pointy teeth.

There's something wrong about her. Something strange. Something evil...

She shuddered again and then turned and hurried on her way.

Yes, that reporter was right that she was going to be back to settle the score with that little upstart. But she hoped she wouldn't have to face that reporter again. She wasn't going to cross paths again with that strange woman if she could help it.

Or was she...?

Maybe so, maybe not. But someone was going to cross paths with that creepy reporter very soon... a short, orange-and-yellow-costumed someone...

And it was not going to be pretty...

# Issue # 5: The Vampire

Shortly after the karate woman left (and I mean very shortly! In fact, it was just moments afterwards!), the newest member of Superkid's rogue gallery appeared. She was probably the scariest villain he had ever or will ever meet... relatively speaking, of course, since our hero couldn't actually feel fear. Nonetheless, she left quite an impression on him during their first encounter.

This is what happened...

Rachel Meranst, the off-putting reporter with a preference for the color black, strode over to Superkid who had just landed gently on the ground. She pushed away the other reporters who had gathered around him and stood over him so there was no chance the kid hero could possibly miss her.

"Superkid?" she said in a tone that curdled blood more than the average high-calorie snack.

Superkid stared up at her. "Yeah?"

She flashed him her unusually long teeth in what could have been a winning smile—if you tilted your head a bit and squinted. She grabbed his hand and shook it heartily. "Pleased to meet you, Superkid. I'm Rachel Meranst."

"Pleased to meet you too, Miss Meranst," Superkid replied, working hard to remember his etiquette. It wasn't just the air she put off; for some reason, the instant the reporter had touched his hand his mind felt as though it had turned to gloop. He had barely enough control to construct the thought: _Why does it feel like my thoughts are being sucked through my hand into hers?_

Miss Meranst laughed. "Oh please, call me Rachel."

"Rrayy—chulll," the dazed hero slurred.

Rachel's smile widened, and it looked rather menacing but she had her back to everyone else and Superkid was too befuddled to notice. And while Rachel has our hero in his befuddled state, I'll describe her to you.

She was a forty-year-old full-figured woman with dark brown eyes and shoulder-length hair dyed black. No one knows what her original hair color was. No one's bothered to ask. No one really even wanted to get close enough to her to ask. There was just something about her that set off everyone's creep-o'-meter. But it didn't stop Rachel from getting close to everyone else.

Rachel told our hero, "That's an unusual ability you have."

It took our hero a little while to respond. "Oh... to cun-trolll thuh temp-rah-chur... of my breath? Uhhhh... yeahhhh... Doctuurrr Red gave thizzz powerrrrr to me... when he thought... he wuzzz... poy-zunning... meeee..."

"And you use this ability to inflate your cape into a balloon?"

Superkid's head drooped and he struggled to lift it back up. "Yezzzz..."

Rachel tightened her grip on the youth's hand and then glanced at the corner signpost where a bystander stood. That bystander looked a little suspicious had anyone bothered to check.

It was a struggle for Superkid to even tilt his head back, but he finally managed. What little energy he had left went into signaling alarm bells in his head, for he saw something strange in this reporter's eyes.

They had turned red.

He dropped to his knees and his head flopped down.

"Hey!" one of the reporters cried and charged forward. "Is he okay? What's going on?"

"Nothing to be alarmed about," Rachel responded, turning to face the reporter. "Just a little tired."

"We should probably get him to bed in that case," another reporter said and moved forward.

"I've got things under control," Rachel said smoothly, waving her away.

That's when another reporter screamed, "His eyes just rolled to the back of his head!"

This brought the reporters swarming. Rachel tried fending them off by crying, "It's okay! It's nothing to worry about! I've got it handled!" and waving her hands, but the reporters were now pitching their hands in, grabbing Superkid and tugging on him.

Now Rachel got vicious. Her fingernails--claws painted black--swiped at reporters, causing them to scream in pain and draw away.

But there were too many of them--many of them she couldn't reach and eventually Superkid's hand was ripped free from hers.

All of the energy that had been slowly draining from our hero suddenly rushed back into him. His response was rather dramatic: he shot backwards over the reporters' heads and landed some ten feet behind them.

"Don't touch her!" he shouted, pointing at Rachel.

"You idiots!" she screeched. "I had everything under control! Couldn't you just listen?"

The reporters turned perplexedly between the diminutive hero and the irate reporter. Finally, one of the reporters asked her, "Rachel, what's going on?"

Rachel laughed—and it wasn't a pleasant one either, "You want to know what's going on? Then let me tell you. I'm going to kill that shrimp."

Everyone gasped in horror. Rachel smiled wickedly.

Someone eventually asked, "Why?"

Rachel shook her head. "Oh come on. Don't tell me this really surprises you. You really think everyone calls me 'the Vampire' for nothing?"

This elicited gulps from her coworkers. They had only called her that when they were sure she was far beyond earshot. They should have known better though. Rachel Meranst was notorious for being able to root out the deepest and darkest secrets from anyone unlucky enough to be targeted by her. After she was done with them and their names appeared in the paper, their lives were ruined and devoid of purpose. And she thrived on it.

You can probably guess now where she got the name.

Little did any of them know just how apt the name was for her. No one knew that her secret to her unnatural skills for tilling up other people's secrets was in her hands—literally. By simply touching them, Rachel could siphon their thoughts, which meant their secrets became hers to play with however she liked.

She could siphon energy too. In fact, it came packaged with the secrets so she had to be cautious about how long she maintained contact with her victims. She had never actually drained anyone dry before but she had always wanted to try it. And Superkid was her lucky victim number one.

Oh yes. Unbalanced, scary, and very, very dangerous!

Rachel bared her teeth in a wicked grin at the stupefied gaggle of reporters. She glanced casually at her claws as she flexed them. "Now, if you idiots don't mind, I'd like to get on with the brat hero." And she marched forward, shoving the reporters so hard that a few of them landed on the ground, tearing their nice reporter suits.

Superkid immediately dropped into a karate stance and told her, "I warn you, I'm a skilled martial artist and I could bring you down before you can blink twice."

The Vampire didn't stop but laughed, "But you would have to get close to do that and you know what happens if I touch you." She swiped at him. He leaned back to dodge her claws and then twisted onto his hands and knees to scramble away.

"What's the matter?" taunted Rachel. "Don't you like me? I promise I don't bite." And she flashed him her fangs.

"But I do," said Superkid, once again posed in a karate stance.

"Ooh, listen to him bark!" she laughed as she went after him again. "I just want to eat him up!" She reached for him but Superkid thrust his arm against her hand and twisted it until he was gripping her arm instead. Then he twisted her arm as he ducked behind her.

Out of nowhere the Vampire's sharp heel hit him in the gut. Gray bubbles popped in front of his eyes and he fell to the ground, gasping for breath.

The Vampire turned to look down at our fallen hero. She smiled and reached down. She gripped Superkid around the throat and then hefted him into the air. She grinned maliciously up at our hero as he gasped for breath, pushing on her hand to ease the tension on his throat. But her touch was draining him of his energy and he wouldn't be able to hold out much longer. What was he to do?!

Since our diminutive hero was in such dire straits, it was necessary to bring in someone to aid him. That's why there was a shout behind her, "Let him go, you evil woman!"

Rachel turned and spotted two boys behind her. One of them had his fists balled and held up as though he intended to box her. The other one was behind his friend, trying to be invisible.

"How cute," she cooed. "Look Superkid," she swung him around to face the two boys, "your friends are here to save you."

"I said let him go!" Darrin insisted.

The Vampire sneered, "And what are you going to do about it?

Darrin rushed forward, determined to show her what he was going to do about it. He really hadn't a prayer though for when he got close, the Vampire lifted her foot and thrust the sharp heel into his chest. He staggered backwards, clutching his chest and yelling in pain.

But as the Vampire had kicked Darrin, she had brought Superkid close for balance. This was just the opportunity that he needed. He puffed up his cheeks and then blew into her face.

The Vampire screamed. She dropped the kid hero and clutched her right eye. Superkid hurried over to his wounded friend and asked him urgently, "Are you okay?"

Darrin grimaced bravely. "I think so." Then he cried, "Look out!"

Superkid spun around. The Vampire snatched him by the costume and lifted him again. Her right eye was bright pink and watery and her eyebrow had been singed. She hissed into his face, "You will pay for that!" and drew back her claws.

Thinking quickly, our hero grabbed the hose over his shoulder and puffed air into it. His cape ballooned and he rose into the air, slipping out of the Vampire's grasp. But before he could rise to safety, she snatched his leg.

"You're not getting away that easily!" she snarled.

He sure as heck was going to try his best. He puffed more air into his balloon cape. The Vampire tried to pull him down but was shocked when her arm straightened and then became absolutely terrified when she lifted off the ground!

"Eeeeeeeeeek!" she screamed. "What are you doing?"

"Rising up," Superkid replied a little obviously.

"Let me down!" She looked down at the receding ground and the people shrinking into ants and began kicking her legs furiously. She clawed at our hero's legs, which probably wasn't the smartest thing to do when he was your only ticket to getting to the ground safely. But then again, neither was kicking your legs.

"Lemme-down-lemme-down-lemme-down-lemme-down!"

_Some villain she's turned out to be_ , our hero thought. _A vampire who's afraid of heights!_

Then a change in her voice caught his attention. She screamed, "I'M SLIPPING!"

As evil as she had made herself out to be, Superkid couldn't just let her fall. It was against the hero's code! A hero never causes undue harm to anyone—even villains. Besides, he didn't have the heart for it. Especially when he looked down and saw her staring back at him--eyes wide and streaming with tears (never mind that he had earlier burned her there), face paler than usual, mouth open in a silent scream.

Succumbing to his better nature, he pulled the cord that would allow the air to escape from his balloon and so let the terrified old bat down.

Inexperience had a different idea, however. Thanks to it, our hero let out a little too much air and they dropped fairly quickly. Of course, the Vampire screamed. Superkid readjusted their speed of descent by blowing a little more air into his balloon. There was a jerk in their descent as the balloon slowed.

And thanks to that literal jerk, the Vampire lost her grip and plunged shrieking into the crowd. She hit the pavement hard and gave a short shriek of pain followed by whimpering.

Superkid felt a stab of guilt. He let the rest of the air out of his balloon-cape and dropped next to the Vampire who was holding her leg and gasping in pain.

"Are you okay?' he asked her.

"You broke it," she whispered, biting her lip to hold back the scream of pain. "You broke my leg."

Our hero felt another stab of guilt. He yelled to the crowd, "Call the ambulance!"

The villainess endured five agonizing minutes waiting for the ambulance while the reporters shouted their questions over each other and scribbled furiously on their notepads. When the ambulance finally arrived, the paramedics put her on a stretcher and into the truck while Superkid squirmed guiltily under her accusing glare. And as for that suspicious bystander by the signpost, he gave a snort of what sounded like disgust and then walked away until he had vanished into the shadows.

The ambulance eventually went wailing on its way. Darrin stood next to him and spoke, "Well... at least that's one villain out... for a while."

"And it's my fault," said the kid hero miserably.

"Hey!" Derrick exclaimed from his other side. "She was a villain! What were you supposed to do? Let her kill you and then terrify the rest of the world with her life-sucking power? I mean, if there was someone like that on the loose, I'd want someone to take her out... I mean, just to make sure she couldn't... you know."

"She's probably going to seek revenge once her leg heals," Darrin said.

Derrick pointed out, "But that'll take a few months, so you should be safe."

"You forget that Dr. Red and my karate-teacher-turned-villain are still out there," our dynamic hero reminded them. As an afterthought, he added, "And that giant spider."

There was a pregnant pause as they considered the implications. Each looked to the sky for divination to the deep questions that ran through each of their minds. Who were they to be part of this great work of fiction? Who were they to be chosen to thwart evil in whatever gruesome (make that "bizarre") form it took? Who were they to be chosen to represent the forces of good?

In this great scheme, they knew they were insignificant little pawns that destiny moved around to finally beat the AI and prove itself superior to technology. They knew that at any time someone else could be chosen as the protagonist to stop the villainy of Doctor Red, the Black Belt, the Vampire, and the spider.

But destiny had chosen them. Probably just randomly—plopped names in a hat and then drew them out. But it had chosen them. And they would gladly carry this responsibility if only because fighting bad guys and saving the day was a lot more fun than going to school and trying not to get grounded.

They at last turned to each other. They all waited for someone to say something significant as an appropriate ending for this chapter of their adventures.

Derrick finally said, "So, what's for lunch?"

Hold on! The story isn't over yet!

The Vampire was in a hospital bed with her leg in a cast.

"You've had a simple fracture," the doctor informed her. "Your leg should be as good as new in a few weeks."

"But once it does, we'll have to arrest you for attempted murder," said the police officer next to the doctor.

The Vampire bared her teeth at him. The officer stared back, determined not to let her scare him.

They stared for a couple minutes, neither one blinking. Finally the officer turned away and the Vampire smiled in victory.

"I'll be back to check on you," said the officer in an effort to save face. He didn't look at her though. He still had chills running up and down his spine like hyperactive schoolchildren.

When the police officer left with the doctor following behind, the Vampire muttered ominously, "And I'll be back for you... Superkid."

We have now come to the conclusion of the story of the incredible Superkid, how he came to be, the enemies he made, and the adventures he had. But fear not, good readers! The adventures have only just begun! I can sense your eager anticipation for the further adventures of the youthful vigilante and his friends and you can be rest assured that I will...

What? What do you mean you have better things to do? Oh wait, I get it, you're joking right? Right...?

...Hello?
