- Good morrow, madam!
That's England talk for "hi".
I understand this is an infirmary
specifically for bodybuilders.
Can someone here treat my dear creature
who has been injured in battle?
- Fret not, young chocobo.
I'm surgeon Chuff, licensed phrenologist.
And this is my assistant, Chauncey!
Let's have a quick gandering, creature.
*gasp!*
*pukes profusely*
Wow, these injuries don't look so bad...
We'll get to amputating the limbs in danger of necrosis and gangrene
and start tossing some leeches on to suss out the bad blood.
- Huzzah! A simple and elegant medical procedure!
Truly, we live in an age of wonder and progress!
*creature in agonizing pain*
- The screams are the sound of healing!
- Worry not, dear creature! For you shall soon be well...
At which point I shall force you...
to battle again!
- There! Oof!
Got all the limbs sawed off,
filled the stumps with maggots to chew out the rotten flesh
and now there's just a minor matter of our payment!
- Payment?
But I thought this was a house of healing!
An institution built upon a foundation of charity!
- Well, sure it is and charity don't come cheap.
Between the cost of the hacksaw,
the maggots and the overhead of all the mops
it's gonna take to clean up this blood...
you're looking at a bill of...
20 years of indentured servitude.
- 20 years?!
That seems excessive...
but it's a small price to pay for my beloved creature's health.
*organs drop*
- Ohhh. Could add corpse removal to the bill.
Better make it 22 years.
- Frankly, surgeon Chuff!
I don't think this is how medical institutions should work!
I think you should actually heal our creatures
free of charge!
What more righteous purpose could there be
for our government funds than essential health care?
- And this now counts as a consultation.
Let's call it an even 25 years.
- Never!
- Stop that odd scold child!
He owes 25 years of servitude plus sales tax!
*panting*
- Another victim of the mainstream medical
industry, ay?
- How did you know?!
- I'd notice the handywork anywhere.
Not than about thousand nursing homes among us there are!
But I've got something that could cure your creatures ailments!
J. A. Bailey's miracle revenant tonic!
- You can bring my creature back from the dead...
...with that bottle?
- Don't believe me? Your first is free.
- Huzzah! The potion works!
Don't worry
I'll get you some replacement limbs soon, my creature.
And what's of you?
Alley's stranger distributing mysterious fluids.
- As I said: yer "first" is free!
But all further purchases will cost ya.
- But essential pharmaceuticals shouldn't be so costly!
I'm beggining to suspect the entire medical profession
has been tinged by greed!
- There you are, child!
You owe me a lot of slavery!
- Beat it, ya quack! This is my mark!
- We'd see what my hacksaws have to say about that
you mousy-nose ratbag!
- Well, I've got enough potions to fight you for a decade
ya jib face wagtail!
*hackslash!*
*potion thrown!*
- Boy, I'm beginning to suspect medicine in the 1800's
which is now
isn't all that great...
You said it, creature!
We are going to have to rely on each other
in our adventures through the region!
*trampled*
- Dear heavens, Aloysius! Look!
We must act quickly to save this boy...
's legs!
This boy's legs!
We gotta attach it to the Eyepossum.
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