 
Learning to Live

By

Brenda Kennedy

Book One of The Learning Trilogy

Featuring Nichole Andrews

Books One and Two End with a Cliffhanger

DEDICATED TO CAM AND ROGER TYO

THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU!

Copyright 2017 by Brenda Kennedy

SMASHWORDS EDITION

Chapter One: Picking up the Pieces

Nichole

Never judge a book by its cover, and don't let the white picket fence fool you. Although the appearance looks happy and inviting, no one would believe the fears that lived within my life.

While my innocent almost three-year-old grandson plays in his bedroom, I constantly fight the demons that brought me to where I am today. Will the nightmares ever go away? Will I ever be able to live a normal life? To feel like a normal person? I'm afraid not. I've given up all hope on that dream. That ship sailed a long time ago.

Loving parents raised me in a middle-class neighborhood. My dad was a surgeon while my mom stayed home and cared for me, their only child. Our house was a modest three-bedroom, two-bath, white house with black shutters. An American flag hung from the flagpole out front in the yard, and a white picket fence lined the sidewalk. We were the all-American family. My parents had money, but they never flashed it and never looked down on others less fortunate.

When I met Brett during my senior year of college, I thought he was everything I ever dreamed of and everything my parents wanted in a suitor for their only daughter. We dated for almost a year before we married. That's when everything changed. Brett was abusive, my parents were both killed, and then I became pregnant.

You see, I'm a survivor. I survived domestic violence at its worse. Brutal beatings at the hands of my husband and my adult son. Both my son and ex-husband are dead now. My son, Connor, died as a result of trying to kill his wife, and my husband, Brett, died from an accidental drowning. Well, the police said it was accidental. Brett was stupid, but he wasn't careless. Boating under the influence of alcohol isn't something he would do. Not wearing a lifejacket isn't something he would do either. He got everything he deserved. I'm really not a heartless bitch. I love with my entire soul, but I also believe in karma. I believe Brett got everything he had coming to him. Drowning is a scary death. You fight to stay afloat, and you fight for every breath, until you breathe water, instead of air. Your lungs fill with water and you die. Not quickly and calmly. You frantically fight to stay alive. Not a peaceful way to die, but in his case, it was well deserved.

My grandson was born to another woman during the time my son, Connor, was married to his wife, Ava. It's a long and painful story, but my then-husband and my son could have both been little Connor's father. Brett cheated on me, and Connor cheated on his wife, Ava, with the same woman. It still turns my stomach just thinking about it. Ava and I are good friends, even after everything we both went through with Connor and Brett. I'm thankful that she didn't blame me for what happened to her. It wasn't my fault, but Connor was still my son: my only child. At first, I didn't know everything that Ava went through in her marriage, but later, Connor took great pride in telling me the things he had done to her. I saw her worst injuries. I wanted to help her, but I couldn't. I couldn't even help myself. Ava's a fighter and a survivor like me.

I'm not exactly sure where I went wrong with my son, or what turned him into the monster he became. My counselor says his behavior was learned. It possibly could have been. He witnessed abuse at a very young age. To think that I actually was doing him a favor by staying with his father so he wouldn't be raised by a single mom is ridiculous. I just wanted him to have the kind of life I did. My childhood was a fairytale. It was everything a child dreams of. Maybe if I had left at the first sign of abuse, things would have been different today for all of us. My son could have grown up to be a loving and caring man.

After Connor's death and during my separation from Brett, I learned about little Connor. As soon as I realized I had a grandson, I knew I had to get custody of him and adopt him. His father was dead from a car accident he caused when he tried to kill his wife, Ava. Then little Connor's mother, Lorraine, later died of a heroin overdose. I knew I was the only one who could help little Connor. No other family members came forward to claim him when he was in the care of Child Protective Services. He was orphaned and he needed me. The truth is, I needed him even more. Ava supported my decision to get custody of little Connor. In fact, her husband, Chase, was my attorney who graciously helped me.

When Brett died, he didn't have a will made out. He foolishly thought he would live forever. Since we were divorced, little Connor was his only next of kin. Connor got everything Brett owned, and it was a significant inheritance. I had no idea the money that Brett was worth. With the help of Chase, we sold his lakefront property, along with everything in it and his vehicles, then we put the money into a trust fund for Connor for when he's twenty-five. If he invests his money correctly, he may never have to work a day in his life. Of course, I'll still insist he attends college, work for a reputable company, or start his own business, and save every penny he earns. He's already a millionaire, and maybe with luck, he won't know what that means until he's mature enough to handle it. I've already decided not to tell him about the money until his twenty-fifth birthday; the same day he gets his inheritance. I'll let him believe he's poor and needs an education and a job to survive. He'll thank me for it later, I hope.

My attorney Chase insisted I get an allowance to help with the cost of raising Connor. I have my own money from my parents' inheritance they left me, and I also work and make my own money, which is enough to live on. I understand Chase's concerns and hopefully a time will never come when I'll need to use it.

It's been a year since I adopted little Connor, and I am still trying to figure all this out. Being the mom of a small child at my age is not easy. I moved to Savannah, Georgia, own and operate a bakery called 'Savannah Sweets on Magnolia Street,' and I'm raising a small child while being a single woman in my fifties. You're as young as you feel, right? God, I hope not. I'm exhausted, but I wouldn't change one thing in my present life. My past is another story.

"Momma, can you play with me?" little Connor yells from his bedroom.

Walking into his Lego designed bedroom, I smile when I see a small curly-haired boy sitting on his twin-sized bed playing. "What do you want to play?" I ask, sitting beside him.

Connor started calling me Momma shortly after the courts awarded me custody of him. Then I went ahead and adopted him. When that was final, I changed our last names to my maiden name: Anderson. I didn't want either of us to be associated with my married name: Emerson.

Sometimes when I look at him, I can see my son in him. He looks so much like his dad at that age. When my son was still sweet and innocent. When my son still looked up to me and loved me. My heart hurts at the memory of my son, what he could have been, and what he was.

"Can we play Go Fish?" he asks.

"I think we should play Memory, instead."

He pouts. "That game's too hard," he whines.

I have so much I need to do and I'm still trying to get into a routine. I can do most things with little Connor here, but some things, like cutting the grass, I can't. He's too little to leave in the house alone, and I can't really watch him playing outside with the lawn mower running. It'll all work out. I just need a routine, and a foolproof plan.

When I suddenly get a feeling I'm being watched, I walk over and close the blinds and the curtains of our two-story apartment. "How about one game of Memory, then one game of Go Fish?" I ask.

"Okay, but can we play Go Fish first?"

"We can."

He gets off the bed to get the cards needed for the games. I never in my life imagined that I would be raising a child at my age. But I am and I promise to do the best job that I can. It is taking a lot of adjusting. Things are different these days than they once were, and I definitely think kids are also smarter. It's going to be a challenge but I'm certainly up to it.

I try to focus on the game we're playing, but my mind is on the yard work and the baking we need to do for the bakery. Caring for the lawn is just as important as the baking. Without curb appeal, I wouldn't have any business, and without tasty treats, I also wouldn't have a business.

"Momma, do you have an eight?"

"Go fish." I watch as this sweet little innocent boy fishes into the pile of playing cards with his tiny little hands.

"Got it," he says happily, smiling and waving a pair of eights in the air.

After the card game, dinner, and bath time, I put little Connor to bed and then I'm able to relax and enjoy a good book and a cup of hot tea alone.

Luke Tanner

Ever since I walked into the bakery on Magnolia Street, Nichole Anderson has been on my mind. I remember sitting quietly in the corner of the bakery when her family and friends walked in. Ava and Skylar recognized me and asked me to join their table. I was glad they did. It gave me some time to talk to Nichole. At first, I thought she was the mother of a small son, and then Skylar told me that she had adopted her grandson. I still didn't get the entire story, but it let me see into the type of person Nichole is. It let me know that she is a kind and loving woman, not to mention she's also very attractive and intelligent. I have to admit, I admire all of those qualities she possesses. Now, I just need to figure out a way to get to know her better.

Today, like most days, my Airedale Terrier named Dale and I drive to the bakery that Nichole owns on my way to work. If it's not too busy, I'll go in and order a black coffee and a muffin. But if it looks busy, like it does on most days, I'll just drive by and get my coffee elsewhere. Sadly, they look extremely busy today, so Dale and I don't stop. I still haven't gotten the nerve up to ask her out. Since my last relationship, I don't date much; I think it's better that way.

We drive through a fast-food restaurant and I get a coffee for me and a ham-and-cheese biscuit for Dale. Dale has a fine and discerning taste for the delicacies: most dogs can't stomach fast food, but he isn't one of them.

I drive past the bakery again to my work site to wait for a supply delivery. I recently bought over forty acres at the end of a cul-de-sac lane, and decided to build my own home. My forty acres just happen to be adjacent to Nicole's property. When I bought it, I thought some isolation would do me some good, and it would definitely keep me busy and keep my mind off of my real problems. Little did I know that I would meet a distraction and she would consume my every thought. That distraction being Nichole.

After a day of hard labor, Dale and I return home for our evening run. Then I shower and make dinner. Tonight I'm supposed to meet my friend, Carter Reynolds, at Club 51 Degrees. I rarely go out and he seldom stays home. I think he wants to date every single woman in Savannah, or at least bang every single woman in Savannah. I dress in a black shirt, jeans, and a pair of black loafers. This should be good enough.

At the door I pay the cover charge, and then I make my way through the crowded dance floor. I spot Carter at the bar talking to a couple girls. I can tell from here that they are at least ten years his junior. Of course they are. Who hangs out in a bar at our age? We do. He sees me and points his beer to a table in the corner of the room. Nodding, I look past him to the empty table. I watch as he makes his way to the table with a woman on each arm.

Carter is my age, but he doesn't act it. He was married to his high school sweetheart for more than thirty years, until they divorced last year. He came home from work early and caught her in their bed with her colleague, who was also a professor at the college where she taught chemistry. Ironic, right? Chemistry?

Carter was and still is devastated from it, although he would never admit it. He's good looking and successful, but he has a void he's trying to fill. A different woman each night might not be the best way to fill that void. Or in tonight's case, maybe two women. Or maybe it is the best way to fill his void? Or maybe he just enjoys filling the voids of women. Most men do. He could be like me and just be a recluse. What fun would that be?

I order a beer and make my way over to the cozy table that barely seats four. The music's loud, the lights are dim, and the room smells of too much perfume. It's Friday night and it's still early. I plan to be out of here before the crowd gets here making the space seem even more claustrophobic.

"Glad you could join us," Carter says, reaching his hand out for mine. "I want you to meet Jennifer and Stephanie."

Shaking Carter's hand, I nod to both girls, who are sitting on each side of him. Carter is sandwiched between two very attractive blondes. I take a seat on the edge of the rounded bench and nurse my beer. I have no intentions of getting inebriated tonight.

"Let's do a shot," one of the girls says.

Carter raises his hand to get the attention of a passing waitress. "Can we get four shots of Johnny Walker Red please, and another round for all of us?"

"Sure, Carter, just give me a few minutes."

"I'm fine, just bring three shots."

She nods as she walks away from the table. "Not drinking, huh?" Carter asks.

"Just beer."

"Suit yourself."

As the night goes on, Carter and I fast and slow dance with Jennifer and Stephanie. I have always enjoyed dancing; thankfully, I have rhythm. I know a lot of men who can't dance. Either they're clumsy or can't carry a beat, or both.

After my third beer, I decide it's time for me to leave. When I stand, I see Monica walking into the club. Before I can sit back down to hide from her, she sees me and waves. "I'll see you guys later. Jennifer and Stephanie, it was a pleasure meeting you both."

"You don't have to leave so soon," Jennifer whines.

Yes, I do. "I'd love to stay, but I have work in the morning." It's not a total lie; I might decide to work sometime before noon tomorrow.

Jennifer pouts. "I was hoping we could hang out."

Before I can say anything, Monica says, "Luke Tanner, how are you?"

"Monica," I say curtly. I turn my attention to Carter. "Thanks for the drinks. I'll see you at the gym on Monday."

He raises his beer and tips it to his mouth.

"You're leaving?" Monica asks.

"I am."

I turn to leave and she follows.

"I'll walk you out, Luke."

"Don't bother."

I hear the clicking of her heels and she says, "You're not still mad at me, are you?" I don't answer. I just keep walking. When I finally make it out to my truck, she says, "Luke, we need to talk."

I turn around and face her. She's standing there with her long brown hair in big curls. She's wearing a black dress and a pair of black stiletto heels. Her lips and nails are painted a deep shade of red. She looks somewhat different from the last time I saw her. Her black bra strap falls over her shoulder and I realize that's what looks different about her. Bigger boobs, fuller lips, and thicker eyelashes. She places her hand on my arm and before I can remove it, someone walks past. I immediately recognize her as Nichole. I smile when our eyes meet.

"Luke," she says as she and her friend walk past. She watches me before turning her attention to Monica.

"Nichole." I watch her as she walks past me and into the club. I don't come here much, but I have never seen her here before. She looks back at me after she pays the cover charge and enters the building. I never would have imagined running into her at a club on a Friday night. Now I wish I hadn't left so early, and I really wish I wasn't standing out here with my ex.

Bringing my attention back to Monica, I remove her hand from my arm. "I need to go," I say as I open the door to the truck.

"Luke, talk to me. It was all a big misunderstanding."

"It sure was," I say, climbing into the truck. She stands there with her arms crossed over her chest and watches me pull out of the parking lot.

Nichole

"Rachael, I'm not sure about this. I still think this is a bad idea."

"According to Ava and Skylar, it's the most popular place in Savannah."

I didn't expect to see Luke Tanner in the parking lot of this club tonight. I think I was more embarrassed than... more than excited at seeing someone I knew. A woman of my age walking into a club, it has to be social suicide, right? People in their fifties don't frequent places like this, do they? He's my age and he's here. It must be different for men. After all, he was here with someone, wasn't he?

I say, "Says two twenty-eight-year-olds." I laugh, looking around the room for an empty table. When I see a man and two women stand from their booth, I say, "They're leaving. Let's take their table." I watch as he walks away with a woman holding onto each of his arms. That's disgusting, I think to myself. The girls are younger than he is, very attractive, and they are both giddy. He watches me as he walks away from the table. Creep, I think to myself.

Rachael says, "This seems like a nice place."

"A nice place for what?" I giggle.

I'm recently single and raising a three-year-old. Not exactly a place I feel like I belong. I didn't like the bar scene when I was in my twenties, and I'm pretty sure not much has changed in my fifties.

"To mingle," she says. "This place has men of all ages, just like Skylar said they would."

A cocktail waitress stops by our table, and we order a bottle of Chianti. I decided to wear jeans, a pale blue blouse, and a pair of tan heels. Age appropriate. Not too flashy, but comfortable.

Crossing my legs I say, "Drink fast. I don't want to be here all night."

Rachael giggles. "Hard to drink fast, when our drinks aren't even here yet."

She has a point. "I'm sorry." I exhale loudly, closing my eyes and trying to relax.

"It's been awhile since I've been out without Daniel. Let's enjoy the music and the wine, then we'll leave."

Sometimes I forget she's married. Not because she acts single, but because I mostly see her at the bakery and she's always alone. "Okay, sounds good."

Rachael and I laugh as we enjoy each other's company. I almost forget I'm in a club on a Friday night when some guys come over and ask us to dance; we both decline. We also refuse to drink the drinks that the waitress brings over to our table from the two older men sitting at the bar, although we smile and wave to them our appreciation for the drinks. I don't trust opened drinks so we continue to finish off our bottle of wine.

My mind drifts off to when I saw Luke in the parking lot when we first arrived. I'm not sure if it's him I'm thinking about or the woman he was with. I had assumed he was single since I've never seen him with anyone. I do frequently see him in the mornings when people are rushing to their jobs. I guess he wouldn't be with someone that time of day though. I should really stop assuming things; I've never been good at it.

When different guys from the bar approach us to dance, Rachael agrees we should leave. She's happily married and offered to join me for an evening out, something our friends thought would be a good idea. Rachael is more than my friend; she also helps me out at the bakery, helps me with little Connor, and offers support for things I can't understand. I met her one night after Brett beat me; that also happened to be the night I decided to leave him. I could tell from the look on her face that she didn't know things like this went on. That other people didn't live perfect lives. That abuse of this degree happened in a marriage. It was a shock to her and to her family to witness. We both have one thing in common. We both have lost a son. She lost her son to brain cancer, while I lost my son to an accident he caused.

"Well, this was fun," she teases.

"It was." It's not a total lie. It was fun hanging out with Rachael. Although we could have done this at home, it was nice to get out. I just have no desire to do it again anytime soon. "I hope this makes Ava and Skylar happy." I know they worry about me and they want me to get out and meet people. But I'm perfectly content staying home with little Connor.

Over the next two weeks, I have an internal battle with myself about whether to enroll Connor in preschool or not. I've finally made the decision to do it. It's not fair to him to be at the bakery during the long work hours. He also needs to be with other children his age. He just seems so little and he's been through so much in his short life. My friend Rachael comes over and tends to the bakery while I take Connor to his new school. It's his first day and I'm nervous about leaving him in the care of strangers. Well, they aren't totally strangers. I've met the entire staff and have spent time with all of them over the last couple weeks. I chose this preschool partly because of convenience; they'll pick up and drop Connor off at the house. I also chose them because of the friendly staff. But the main reason is they're also the only preschool in town that's never received any violations from the state. I've researched extensively, and they are the best preschool in the area.

He walks into the preschool excitedly. "Look, Momma, there's my name on the wall."

I look in the direction he's pointing. His name is written above a cubby that'll hold his personal items. "Let's go and hang up your coat."

His teacher sees us and walks over. She has a friendly smile and kneels down so she is eye level with Connor. "Hi, Connor."

He isn't shy like I was afraid he might be. "Hi, Miss Smith."

"Are you ready to start school?"

"Yep."

I watch as she gently touches his arm. "Hang up your coat and have a seat. We're going to have breakfast first."

"Okay."

She stands and tells me what the routine is for the day with the children. "There's a one-way mirror if you want to sit and observe the staff with the children."

I already knew about the room for the parents. It's nice we can watch the kids without them knowing we're spying. "Maybe I'll watch for a few minutes."

"Stay as long as you want. We have one mother who stays the entire day."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Alexandria brings her son Barron to school, and then watches him from the mirrored windows." I'm not sure what's the purpose of doing that. Why bring a child to school if you're not going to leave them? "She said that he needs to be around other children to learn social skills, yet she can't bring herself to leave him."

Now, I understand. "It's hard leaving your child."

"Yes it is. I did the same thing when my son, Sam, came here." She smiles at the memory. "I didn't stay all day, but I did stay well into the afternoon."

"If I didn't have a job, I might be camping out here, too." I laugh to myself at the thought.

"Luckily, my husband's income allowed me to be a homemaker. Sam needed to be around other children, but I had trust issues. Sam's my pride and joy, and I had a tough time trusting that others would care for him as I would."

"And now you work here. I'm assuming they took good care of your son."

"They did. After awhile I applied for a job here. Why not? I mean I was already here most of the day anyway. I might as well get paid for it."

This reassures me that I chose the right preschool for Connor. I kiss Connor goodbye before I leave to watch him for a few minutes, and then I head back to the bakery, knowing that he'll do just fine today. It's a good feeling and I feel like I'm doing the right thing for him and for me. He needs friends, and I need to be able to run a business without having to worry about him.

The bakery is busy when I return. I admire what I've accomplished over the last year. Never did I imagine I would be free, and I never imagined that I would be running my own business. The sign hanging from the post in the yard is a photo of a cupcake with white icing and colored sprinkles. In beautiful calligraphy, it says, "Savannah Sweets on Magnolia Street." My and little Connor's two-bedroom apartment is over the bakery. I bought it before I knew he even existed. It's large and spacious and is perfect for a family of two.

Walking inside the bakery, I greet the customers. I put on my apron and get right to work. Thankfully, it doesn't take long to get caught up. We don't sell specialty coffee for this reason. We would need to have a full-time barista on duty. We do offer flavored creamers and several different-flavored teas. I wanted this to be a bakery, not a coffee shop. I wanted to be known for the mouth-watering desserts and scrumptious pastries, as well as great-tasting muffins and donuts.

"How did it go?" Rachael asks.

"Very well. I think he'll do great there." I look around at the full tables. "Was it hard to keep up?" I ask.

"No. It really helps that you put out a serve-yourself beverage station. That makes things run smoother and saves us a lot of time."

"I think so, too, but I was worried about excessive waste from the customers."

She looks at me. "I wouldn't think that would be a problem here. Maybe in a convenience store that could be a huge problem."

I get a visual of several kids standing at the soda fountain, pouring a mixture of sodas in a cup, tasting it, then pouring it down the drain, just to start the process over again. "Thankfully, young kids don't drink coffee." I'm more thankful than ever that I chose to open a bakery and not a convenience store.

When things slow down in the afternoon, Rachael leaves and I do some light baking. I have to fight the urge to run to Connor's school and watch him in the room with the mirrors. I know he's fine, but it's still tough to control the urge to go to the school and get him. I decide to bake some of his favorite cutout sugar cookies. He loves to eat them almost as much as he likes to decorate them. I also make some no-bake cookies for Ava, and some lemon pastries for the bakery. These are all easy recipes and don't take much time.

I find myself thinking of my parents. They would be proud of me if they could see what I've done with the bakery; if only they could see what I've done with my life. They both died many years ago, and I miss them every day. Maybe things would have been different for me if they hadn't died. Maybe I would have found the courage to leave Brett. Maybe I would have left him and my parents and I would have fled to another state, another country. No, my dad was a surgeon; he could never leave his patients. They counted on him and they also needed him. I could never ask him to leave his practice.

I shift my thoughts from the past to my future with my grandson. When the baking and cleanup is done, I'm excited when it's time for me to get little Connor from school.

Luke

On Monday morning, I meet Carter early at the gym. He tells me about his wild threesome, although I'd rather he didn't. I work harder, run faster, and lift more weights to take my mind off of his story. I know his ex-wife did a number on him, and this is his way of getting over the pain. I don't approve of it, and I don't want to hear about it. I know they're void fillers and this is his way of dealing with the pain. As his friend, I have said something to him in the past, but it only added stress to our relationship. He's a grown man, so if he wants to have consensual sex with other adults, I should mind my own business and not be overly judgmental. We all live and learn from our mistakes, and we make mistakes that we hopefully learn from. It's what makes us human.

"So, when are you seeing them again?" I ask.

I know once he sleeps with them, his interest in them is over. He'll be ready to move on to the next void filler by the weekend.

He laughs. "I have no plans of seeing or talking to either of them again. But, there was this hot chick who came in right after you left. She was older and had a hot friend with her." He wipes the sweat from his brow.

I suddenly remember that Nichole and her friend were walking in as I was leaving. Now he has my attention. "Older as in our age, or older as in your mother's age?" It seems he sleeps only with girls several years his junior.

"Our age," he clarifies. I find it interesting that he calls women our age, older. "Now those two, I may even call them for a second date."

I hate the thought that he may be talking about Nichole. "Date? You call what you do with them a date?"

He chuckles. "It's the closest to a date that they'll ever get from me."

Now that, I can believe.

Carter and I went to high school together and we also joined the Army together. We went in on the buddy system. He did his four years and got out; after all, he was married to his high school sweetheart. I decided to re-enlist and make a career of it. It was the best and the worst decision of my life.

When Carter thought his wife was having an affair, he pretended to go to work but hid and spied on his house. Sure enough, a man appeared, a man Carter's wife kissed when she opened the door. They went inside. Carter went to his shed and got an axe, and then he let himself in the house. He heard the sound of amorous activity coming from the bedroom. The bedroom door was open slightly, and Carter slammed the side of the head of the axe against the door and charged into the room. He went to the bed where his cowering wife and her cowering lover lay, and he raised the axe high above his head. Then he stuck out his tongue at them, left, and then filed for a divorce.

I shower, and then Dale and I drive past the bakery on the way to the worksite of my new house. The bakery is busy so I don't stop. I do notice the grass is higher than usual and the parking lot and sidewalk need edging. I turn around in the driveway to return home. After I hook up the trailer loaded with lawn equipment, I head back to the worksite to start on my own building project.

I work well into the afternoon before stopping for lunch. I play with Dale and we both sit on the tailgate of my black pickup truck and admire the view and my work. "This is the life, huh, boy?" He barks to let me know he agrees. It's not a horse ranch in Montana, but it's not a bad piece of property either. It'll do perfectly for what I want and need. The only thing I'm missing is a view of the mountains; however, I can't complain about the wooded acreage view. I give Dale fresh water and fill his dish with dog food, no fast food for him today. When we finish lunch, I wipe the sweat from my brow and then get back to work.

Dale is more than my dog, he's my family. He was a gift from my father, and he's the fifth generation Airedale terrier to be passed down in our family. Airedale terriers are military dogs and were widely used in WW1 to deliver mail and messages to soldiers during combat. He's larger than most terriers, standing over two feet tall and weighing more than 60 lbs. When my great-grandfather died in combat, someone gave his wife an Airedale terrier to keep her company. My family is from a long line of military men and since then, the spawn of each dog is passed down from generation to generation at the time of their retirement or at the time of their death. Sadly, that tradition will end with me. I have no children and at my age, I don't plan to have any now. I do plan to breed Dale and keep his bloodline going. He's too special of a breed and of a pet not to.

On my way home, I stop by the bakery to cut Nichole's grass. I'm glad when the parking lot is empty, indicating she isn't home. She's a single mother, and if cutting her grass will help reduce some of her stress, I'm glad to do it. Dale waits patiently for me under the shade tree with a fresh bowl of water. He's wearing an American flag bandana around his neck, representing our wonderful nation we live in. The bandana reads, 'Home of the free, because of the brave.' I don't think any truer words have ever been spoken.

Instead of using the push mower like I had planned, I use the riding mower to try to hurry before she gets home. I don't want her to feel obligated or feel like she owes me something for doing this. I'm glad to be able to do something to help her. She's an outstanding woman to be raising her grandson. I'm sure it can't be easy, especially when her own child is an adult. I can't imagine raising one child, much less raising a grandchild. Starting over, raising a family, and putting your life on hold is truly a selfless act. Maybe she doesn't see it like that.

When I'm finished with the grass, I edge around the cobblestone walkway and the parking lot. Afterwards, I blow the trimmings from the lot, load up my equipment and Dale, and then we leave. We pass Nichole on the road and I lower my head so she doesn't recognize me. If she did recognize me, the mower, leaf blower, and edger on the trailer would be a sure sign I'm the one who cut her grass, but I want that to be my secret.

On the way home, we stop at the cemetery. My mother has been dead for almost ten years and it's still tough to accept her death. She shouldn't have died. She was too young. If she had died of natural causes or terminal cancer, which I guess is a natural cause, maybe I could have accepted it, but she didn't.

Slowly, Dale and I walk to her grave and lay the daisies down at the base of her gray marble tombstone. While sitting there alone, I try to control my thoughts. Saying nothing, I remain still. I have no words to speak; I've already spoken them. I'm sorry. I should have been there. I love you. I miss you. I feel responsible. I say none of the things I've said over and over in the past. Instead, I remove the rag from my back pocket and wipe down her dusty tombstone. Dale lies still on her gravesite as if in mourning. He never knew my mother, but I think he can feel my sadness. My heart still aches from her absence. She was healthy and younger than her years. She should have lived a long and happy life. She should have still been here on this earth. But she isn't. My time with her was cut short and she'll never be here again. I just hope she knew how much I loved her, and how hard I try to be the son she would be proud of. I kiss my fingers before touching her tombstone. "I love you, Mom," I say before turning to leave. I get to the truck and wait for Dale. He lets out a long sorrowful howl before jumping into the passenger seat.

I call my sister, Angie, on the drive home. When she doesn't answer, I leave her a message to call me. Once I'm home, Dale and I run for our nightly exercise, shower, and we have dinner alone. I think about the day and try to ignore the thoughts of the past as they try to creep into my mind. After downing a couple beers and a few shots, I hope it's enough to let me sleep through the nightmares.

Nichole

"Momma, I made lots and lots of friends, and my teacher is so, so nice. Can I go back tomorrow?"

I quickly look in the rearview mirror at my grandson in his car seat. He's all smiles, and he's holding a picture he made at school. I'm happy to know I've made the right decision placing him in preschool.

"I was thinking maybe you could ride on the school bus tomorrow." I watch him closely to see his facial expression.

"You mean the big, big yellow school bus?"

"Yes."

"Can my friends ride it, too?"

I turn onto Magnolia Street. "I'm sure some of them will be riding the bus."

"Only if my friends are on the bus. I don't want to ride it alone."

"Okay, Connor. We'll make sure some of your friends are on the bus first."

When I pull up at the bakery, the first thing I notice is the manicured lawn. When I left, the grass needed cut. I was planning on hiring a lawn care company, but I never got around to it. I've been doing it myself during my down time. But it seems I don't have much spare time for mowing and edging. I make a mental note to call Chase and thank him. I'm sure he's the one responsible for this.

Later that night, after dinner and Connor's bath, and when he is peacefully sleeping, I call Chase to thank him. He's an attorney, and a married man with twin daughters. He's the most likely one I could think of who would have cut the grass. When he tells me it wasn't him, I call Rachael's husband, Daniel. He tells me it wasn't him either. I then call the only other person I can think of: Skylar's husband, Drew. When he tells me it wasn't him, I have no idea who the Good Samaritan is, but I silently thank him — if it's a him — before turning in for the night.

I dream of my abusive husband and son. I dream of verbal abuse and yelling. I dream of open wounds, blood, and falls. I also dream of pain and misery. At 3:00 am, I know that sleep won't find me anymore on this night. After I check on little Connor, I shower and then go downstairs to do some baking.

Although Brett can't hurt me anymore, it doesn't help with the nightmares, the memories, or the scars that are a constant reminder of what my life was. What I am thankful for is that the scars are hidden and out of view from my family and friends. It would be a constant reminder of the torture I lived. They will never know what I went through during my marriage.

I think of my parents and how much I miss them. I think about games we played, stories they told, and meals we shared. I also remember their kindness and love. God, I've missed that. My dad had the kindest heart of anyone I ever knew. He was a member of Doctors Without Borders where he would travel to third-world countries to offer medical care to whoever needed it and couldn't afford it. His career was never about making money. His career and his life were always about helping others and giving back to his community — and giving to third-world communities.

He was so sweet and loving to my mother. He truly adored her. Oh, how I wanted that life for me. Brett was like that in the beginning, or did he just fool my mother, my father, and me? Could it be he was a kind man in the beginning and I did something to make him evil? Nichole, stop it! You did nothing to make him the way he was. Then my mind drifts back to before I met him. I never met his parents. He said they were killed in a car accident. Could that have triggered something evil in his brain? Did it start before that? Was his father violent to his mother and was his behavior learned? Learned just like it was with our son, Connor?

I don't know and I can't focus on that anymore. If that is the case, I'm breaking that cycle with my grandson. I wish I had done something to help Connor. God, if I had known, things would be so different for so many people. Connor, me, Ava, Chase.... I can't even think about it. I can't think about the people he hurt. There are so many people whom he hurt. Even my son, Connor. He wasn't like that in the beginning. Tears fall and I swipe them away. It's hard not to remember my sweet newborn. I loved him.

I can't even remember when things started going badly for us. When the brainwashing started. It had to have been brainwashing. My sweet little Connor was not born like that. I failed him. I didn't see the signs or I ignored them. I sit in the dark at a table in the bakery and cry.

After several long minutes, or maybe hours, I play music softly, and bake to take my mind off of my past. Looking around the room, I smile. This is my life. I'm happy and proud of how it ended for me. I did this. I couldn't have done it without the help and support of my friends. I don't think they will ever know how grateful I am to them. Well, maybe they do. Some of them knew Brett and Connor and a couple of them thought they knew what they were both capable of doing. I never told anyone the truth, not even my attorney. I knew if I wanted Brett to not contest the divorce, I would have to tell Chase about some of the abuse. But I couldn't tell it all. I couldn't open myself up like that. There was no way he would believe me, not without seeing proof. And the only proof I had are my scars, and I didn't want to reveal those to anyone. Ever.

It's dark outside and I make several trips upstairs to check on little Connor. He sleeps peacefully. I inhale his scent and pray he dreams of rainbows and butterflies. This child is my entire world, and I need him more than I need my next breath.

Just before dawn, there's a knock at the door. We don't open for another half an hour and Connor's still in bed. I look through the glass door and see a familiar customer standing there. I open the door for Luke Tanner.

"Hi, Nichole, I know you're closed, and I wouldn't have stopped if I didn't see the lights on."

I open the door wider for him. He's been here before, and he knows Ava and Skylar. I think I can trust him. Normally, I wouldn't have opened the door and I would have turned him away. I look outside to see a familiar truck in the parking lot. "Please, come in."

"I'm hoping to maybe get a quick cup of coffee and then I'll be on my way." He smiles, showing perfectly white teeth and a single dimple in his chin.

The timer goes off on the oven. "Lock the door for me, will you, while I get the muffins out of the oven?"

"Yeah, sure."

I put the last batch of blueberry muffins in the oven before starting the coffee. "It's going to take a few minutes for the coffee. I hope you're not in a hurry."

"No, I'm in no hurry." He looks around the bakery. "I didn't know you started baking so early in the morning."

"Normally, I don't. I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd make good use of my time." I look over at him. "You're here pretty early."

He runs his hand through his damp hair. "I couldn't sleep, either. Thought I'd grab a coffee and start work at sunrise."

I offer him a chair as I remove the hot muffins from the pan, and then ask, "Do you want a muffin while you wait for the coffee?" When he doesn't say anything, I offer a smile and say, "They're hot from the oven."

"Sure, thank you. They smell delicious." He doesn't sit down but stands on the other side of the counter from me.

"Nothing like a fresh, hot blueberry muffin first thing in the morning."

"Thank you, but if I'm interrupting, I can leave. I know you must have twenty-nine and a half things to do before you open."

"You're fine. I was actually going to have a coffee and a muffin, too. Do you mind if I join you?" I hope I'm not too forward.

He walks to a small table. "I would like that." I watch as he pulls out both chairs from the table. "I'll get the muffins while you get the coffee." He walks to the counter and takes the plate of muffins, a few napkins, and the pats of butter and carries them to the table.

I ask over my shoulder, "You take your coffee black, right?"

"I do, thank you."

Once I pour the coffee, I take the seat across from him. Suddenly this feels awkward. I need to find something to talk about.

"Is that your truck outside?"

"It is. Why do you ask?"

"Do you live or work around here?" I realize my questions may sound strange to him.

"I drive past here on my way to work." He cups his coffee mug with both hands. "Why do you ask?"

I smile. Now I have my answer, but I need to hear him say it. "Luke Tanner, did you happen to cut my lawn yesterday?"

He also smiles as he leans back in his chair. "I may have driven by and noticed the overgrowth."

"Thank you." I laugh as I recall calling several people last night to thank them. I thought I knew who did it, but clearly I had no idea.

"No thanks needed."

He leans up and we both take a drink of the hot coffee.

"Did you and your girlfriend have a good time at the club?"

He nearly chokes on his coffee. "Excuse me?"

"I saw you in the parking lot of Club 51 Degrees a couple weeks ago. You were with a girl. Did you have a good time?"

"About that." He clears his throat. "It's not what it looked like." I saw him standing there and the girl was holding onto his arm. "As I was leaving, I ran into... an old friend. I don't have a girlfriend."

"Oh, I just assumed... I'm sorry."

His smile is infectious. "It's okay. I met a friend there, but I left before he did. Did you and your friend have a good time?" he asks.

"It was my first time there. I'm not much of a club person," I admit. "Ava and Skylar recommended that place to my friend Rachael and me."

"Peer pressure, huh?"

I laugh when he smiles. "Yeah, you could say that."

Before the conversation can go any further, Rachael walks into the bakery. "I came a little early so you could get Connor ready for school." She startles when she sees Luke sitting at the table with me. "Sorry, I saw the lights on, but I didn't think anyone was here with you."

Luke stands from the table. "I just came in for a coffee. Thank you, Nichole, for the muffin."

I also stand. "Let me get you a coffee to go."

He tosses some money on the table and follows me to the counter. "Thank you, Nichole."

"You're welcome, Luke." Our fingers lightly touch when I hand him his coffee, then our eyes meet. That's when I notice his kind brown eyes, his graying temples, and his friendly features.

As soon as he walks out the door, Rachael says, "Who in the hell is that?"

"Just a customer."

The timer goes off and I remove the last of the muffins from the oven.

"How long have I been working here with you?"

"Since I opened."

"I've never seen him here before."

"Really? He comes in, but he never stays. He always gets a coffee to go."

"Why are you going clubbing when you have customers who look like that?"

I have no idea. I get Connor ready for preschool while Rachael opens the bakery and tends to the customers. Connor has his breakfast downstairs in the bakery. He likes to eat down there because he likes the smell of baking, which is especially strong there, and while he eats behind the counter, it gives me a chance to help Rachael.

I watch as the preschool bus arrives to pick up little Connor. I feel like I want to cry, but I stay strong for my happy excited boy.

"Connor, have fun, and I'll see you after school," Rachael says, hugging him.

The customers say their goodbyes to him as he walks through the bakery to the bus. After I kiss and hug him, I stand and wave until the bus is out of my sight. When I turn around, all of the customers, including Rachael, are standing in the front yard waving and watching as the bus rounds the corner. Seeing the love and support of the customers sends me into a crying fit.

Across the street, however, I see the regular school bus show up. Two kids climb onto the school bus while their parents sit in lawn chairs and drink champagne to celebrate being away from their kids for a few hours. It's all staged, of course. It's being preserved on video and will probably be on YouTube later today.

Luke

After work, Dale and I go to the dog park. This is his favorite place to be. It's where he's able to strut his stuff in front of the girl dogs. I guess it's similar to my friend Carter being in a club. We walk the beach, throw Frisbees, and play ball. When I see a familiar face, I continue to play with Dale as I watch Nichole and Connor. Connor is sitting under a tree and petting a small dog. I didn't realize they had a pet. When I know for certain that they aren't with anyone, I toss the ball in their direction. I want to make it look like the run-in is coincidental. Well, it kind of is since I didn't know they would be here.

Dale runs after the ball, barking playfully, getting the attention of others. He brings the ball back to me and I see Connor standing up. I smile and wave. I pet Dale and walk over to where Connor and Nichole are. I watch as the pup he was petting walks away with an older woman.

"Hey, you guys come here much?" I ask.

Nichole stands and reaches down to pet Dale. "We try to come every Sunday. Connor likes to play with the dogs."

"Is this your dog?" Connor asks.

"It is. His name's Dale."

I hear Nichole chuckle.

"Dale? That's not a dog's name," Connor says, looking surprised at my name choice.

I can honestly say that's not the first time I've heard that. "It's not?" I ask.

"No. Dogs need names like Spot or Rover, or Lucky. Not Dale, that's a man's name." He reaches up and pets Dale. Of course, Dale likes it. "He's a nice dog," Connor says, scratching Dale behind his ear.

Nichole watches Dale and Connor with interest. "He looks like a terrier breed, but I've never seen a terrier this big before." She reaches out and also pets him. "Is he a mixed breed?"

"He's an Airedale terrier."

She looks up at me with a smile. "That explains where the name came from. I don't think I've ever heard a dog being named Dale until now."

"He isn't like other dogs."

She looks at me and smiles. "I'm sure he isn't."

I look around the park. "Do you have a dog here?" I ask.

"No, we don't got no dog." Connor pouts.

I look from Connor to Nichole. She smiles. "He wants a dog. We come here so he can play with them." She pets Dale again. "I don't have the time to devote to being a pet owner."

"It's time consuming, that's for sure," I admit. "I once had a dog when I was a child and he was a runner. He'd run away every chance he got. Once he got loose from the fenced-in yard and I had to chase after him. Every time I'd get close he'd take off running faster. I was tired of chasing him so I gave up and turned around to run home."

"Oh no," Nichole says, "You just didn't leave him there did you?"

"No, he thought it was a game and started chasing after me."

Nichole laughs and says, "As a child I once had a dog named Rex. My stomach growled so he growled back at me. He wasn't the smartest dog around." I watch as she recalls another memory. "Rex also wouldn't go to bed without his blanket, his dog pillow, or his chew toy. It took him fifteen minutes to carry everything to the bed before he could go to sleep." We all laugh and Nichole adds, "Minus the chew toy, dogs are a lot like kids."

"Yeah, I guess they are."

After a few minutes, I reluctantly say, "I wish I could stay, but..."

Nichole interrupts and says, "Look at the time. I didn't realize it was getting so late. We need to get going, too."

"But, Momma," Connor whines, "I want to play with Dale."

"I know, honey. Maybe some other time."

"If you guys aren't doing anything tomorrow, maybe we can meet back here around 2:00?" I think I said that too fast. I didn't have time to think about it. Do I really want to meet them tomorrow? Is that going to be like a date? It's what I've been wanting, right? To spend more time with Nichole?

"Please, Momma? Can we?"

"We'll see, Connor. I have so much to do tomorrow. It's laundry day and I still have to get some baking done, and we have to go to the grocery store."

I look at my watch and if I want to make it to the benefit on time, I need to leave now. "We'll be here tomorrow, if you can make it."

She looks me in the eyes. I can't tell what she's thinking. I have no idea if I just made a fool of myself or not. Maybe she's thinking she hopes to never run into me again.

"Okay. I'll do my best."

"Good. Bye, Connor and Nichole."

"Bye, Dale," Connor says.

"And goodbye, Mr. Tanner," Nichole adds.

"Please, call me Luke."

She smiles. "And Luke."

"Bye, Luke," Connor says, petting Dale.

On the drive home, I like the thought of seeing Nichole tomorrow. I know it's not so much Nichole wanting to see me, as it is Connor wanting to see Dale. It's still more time I get to spend with her and get to know her.

Just before I reach my house, my sister calls me.

I say, "I've been trying to get ahold of you."

"Well, hello to you, too."

I exhale deeply. "I've been worried about you."

"I'm fine. How are you?"

"I'm sorry. I'm good. Heading home to shower, I have a benefit to attend tonight."

"Dad told me about it. I sent in my donation earlier this week."

"Thank you. I tried calling you the other day, but it went to voicemail."

"Dad's here visiting. He said he told you."

"I must have forgotten. So I take it everything's all right?"

"It is. Please stop worrying about me."

I wish I could. "I'm trying. I really am."

"Try harder. I'm fine, really."

I pull up at the house and as much as I hate to, I need to hang up and get ready for this evening. "I will, I promise. I need to get ready or I'll be late."

"I understand."

"I love you, Angie."

"I love you, too, Luke."

I shower and dress in my dress blues. I'm retired from the Army, and I try to attend most of the ceremonies and special events. Depending on the event, I'm often one of the guest speakers. I've rehearsed my speech over and over in my head and occasionally out loud in my home. This event is close to my heart. It's important that I give a powerful speech. I don't want anyone leaving there unsure of the message I was trying to relay.

Dale and I take our daily vitamin. If he's going to eat like a full-grown man instead of a full-grown dog, it's my job to give him the vitamins he may be missing. I have no idea if these help him, but I asked the veterinarian and he said it couldn't hurt. I down a beer to help calm my nerves and I refill his water dish. "I'll be home soon, Dale. You got everything under control?" A bark lets me know he does. I rub behind his ears one last time before leaving.

I show my retired military I.D. to enter Fort Stewart. This was my home for many years. An unknown soldier at the security gate greets me.

I walk into the event alone. The last one of these I attended, I was with Monica. Now that I think about it, she was with me for the last several events I attended. I hope people won't ask me about her. I'm not sure how to answer their prying questions. The guys won't ask, they know better. But their wives, that's a whole different story. They know no boundaries.

After scanning the room, I decide to head to the bar. Another drink is just what I need. Wanting a whiskey, I decide on a beer instead. I keep my back to the room so I'm not forced to make polite conversation. I know it's a charity event, and I should make nice with all the people, but I'm not really a people person. I can thank nine tours of duty in Afghanistan for that.

"I was beginning to think you wouldn't make it," Sergeant Major Kallas says.

I force a smile and turn around. "Traffic," I lie.

"There's usually heavy traffic during rush hour, not into the dinner hour." I watch as Sergeant Major Kallas tips his brandy glass, swallowing the amber liquid in one gulp. "You missed dinner."

"I ate before I came." Another lie.

He looks around the crowded room. "How are you?" he asks.

Sergeant Major Kallas knows what I've been through with my most recent deployment. Hell, they all do, but he also knows the effects it's had on me. He's my colleague, but he's also a friend.

"I'm good, thank you." It's not a total lie. I'm better than most.

"Don't stress too much. I have faith that you'll do great."

"Thank you. I appreciate the vote of confidence." I look around at the packed room.

"In case you didn't know, it's a full house."

"I can see that. Hopefully we'll raise a lot of money this evening."

"That's always the plan."

I sit on stage and listen to everyone as they give their rehearsed speeches. Tonight, is a charity event for our veterans. Often, people think of veterans as men and women who served in the earlier wars. That's not always the case. There are soldiers in their late teens and twenties fighting a war today. Some may never come home, some will come home in a body bag, some will return home injured and possibly with missing limbs, while others will return home with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Some will also suffer from phantom pain; although a limb is missing, they will feel pain in that limb. Some will even end up homeless and hungry. The degree and types of injuries will vary. However, they are all very much real, and P.T.S.D. is a real problem, and this charity is close to my heart.

When it's my turn to speak, I speak the truth. I saw and lived through nine tours of duty. I saw people die, I saw Humvees being blown up by IED's — improvised explosive devices. I saw soldiers with missing limbs crying out in pain. Pain from their own injuries, and pain for their lost comrades. Survivors' guilt is terrible. It haunts you in your sleep. It haunts you in everything you do. I was a damn good soldier. I was a Drill Sergeant in my earlier years in the service. I taught these men and women how to survive and how to kill. When they die in combat, I feel responsible. I feel like I've failed them. That's when I started to volunteer for deployment. I wanted our men and women to return home. I wanted to do the killings in order to protect these young soldiers. I was tough, I could take it, or so I thought.

The more speeches I give, the more graphic they are. If I could print out the images embedded in my brain and show people, I would. I want people to give generously to this cause. I want people to know this is real and these soldiers deserve more than the military and the government gives them. I also want people to know that just because you can't see an injury, it doesn't mean the injury doesn't exist. P.T.S.D. is a real problem and many people live with it, some commit suicide because of it, and some lose their jobs and family as a result of it. It's like hunger. Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

I watch during my speech as people stand from their table to exit the room. I watch men and women wipe tears from their eyes. That's when I know my words are reaching them. That's when I know that they truly understand.

When I make eye contact with a familiar face, I try to look away, but my eyes are pinned to his. I'm reliving a night while being deployed, but my mouth is speaking in the present. I want to forget that night. I tried to forget that night, but it's useless. It was honestly one of the most horrific moments I have ever lived through. Some days I wish I hadn't lived through it. I wish I had died with the others when their Humvee blew up.

I close my speech with, "Please give, and give generously. These soldiers deserve it. Thank you."

I'm the last speaker for the evening. I don't hang around and mingle. Just before I leave, I drop a check into the donation bowl. I don't say goodbye to anyone; I just leave. Right before I make it to my car, someone stops me. A familiar voice calls out. "Excuse me."

I turn around to stare into those familiar eyes. It's a soldier in civilian clothing. "Yes?" I wait and watch as he and his wife closes the distance between us. Once they are closer, I return the wife's smile. "Skylar. Drew."

"I hope this is okay?" Drew asks.

"It's fine. How are you?"

"I thought you looked familiar the night I saw you in Nichole's bakery." He watches me, never looking away. "But it wasn't until tonight, that I remembered from where." I don't say anything. I let him talk. Skylar stands by, not saying a word, offering silent support to her husband. "You were there that night of the attack in Afghanistan." I still say nothing. He's not asking me a question. He's remembering a night I wish I could forget. "If you hadn't been there, I wouldn't be standing here today." His eyes become glassy. "You pulled me to safety. You pulled the others from the wreckage, even though they were killed instantly. All of them dead; they died instantly."

I have a flashback of that night. The flashes of the Humvee being blown up in front of me. My troops and I were in the vehicle behind theirs as we were making a turn on rugged terrain. I should have suspected something wasn't right. I should have known something was about to go down. I saw an old man on the side of the road sitting on top of a rock. My biggest mistake was I thought he was harmless. I should have known. I never should have trusted him.

I wish I had opened fire and killed the old man before he detonated the IED as the first vehicle passed. But of course, all I saw was an old man, and I had no reason to shoot him. I can't just say that all the members of a certain group are evil people. It simply isn't the case that all Muslim people are evil terrorists.

One of the bravest people I ever met was an Iranian. On 14 May 2013, fire broke out in an apartment building in Tehran, the capital of Iran. Omid Abbasi and other Iranian firefighters arrived to fight the fire. Learning that a seven-year-old girl was trapped inside, Mr. Abbasi rushed into the building and found the girl. To keep her alive, he gave her his oxygen mask. He rescued the girl, but he suffered brain death due to lack of oxygen, although doctors in a hospital emergency room tried to save his life. After he died, his family donated his organs to three patients who needed transplants. His mother said, "He was kind and loved saving people." The little girl he had saved attended Mr. Abbasi's funeral and said, "He saved my life, and I am really thankful." I attended that funeral.

Drew says, "I never had a chance to thank you for what you did for me."

I clear my throat. "It's okay, Drew. I wish I had done more." That's the truth. I remember the bloody massacre. I remember Drew's leg was nearly severed, yet he was more concerned for his comrades. I remember Drew's screams when he realized his comrades and friends were dead. I also remember Drew begging God to take his life and spare his friends' lives. I try to steady my breathing. I try to wipe away the images of that night.

"It's because of you that I'm here today. And it's because of you that those families of the slain soldiers got to bring their loved ones home for a proper goodbye and burial." Skylar cries as if hearing this for the first time. "Don't dismiss what you've done as anything less than heroic."

I wanted to do more. I'm not a hero, and my efforts weren't heroic. Men died, and I couldn't save them. "I'm glad to see you're doing better," I finally say. My eyes drift down to his legs. With his prosthetic leg hidden beneath his suit, it's hard for me to tell anything is wrong.

"It took time and some getting used to."

I'm sure it did. I look at my watch and say, "It's nice seeing you again, but I really need to get going."

"I understand, and I won't take anymore of your time." He takes a step back, and I see a few people standing behind him in the shadows. I nod and give a slight smile.

When I turn to leave, Skylar leans up and hugs me unexpectedly. The uniform intimidates most people, but Skylar isn't. She whispers, "Luke Tanner, thank you. I knew when I met you at the inn there was something special about you. I just didn't know, until now, how special you are." She kisses me on my cheek before releasing me. "Thank you," she says one last time.

Speechless, I walk to my car and drive away. I go home, change my clothes, and Dale and I get into the truck and drive to the construction site for the new house.

Nichole

When Connor and I drove home from the dog park, I felt like we were being followed. I drove past the bakery and took the long way around to be sure. I've never been paranoid, so I'm not sure why I'm feeling like this. If Brett were still alive, I would have a reason to be fearful, but he's dead. There's nothing and no one who can hurt me, or would want to.

Once inside the house, I lock up and close the blinds and the curtains. The two-bedroom apartment we live in is over the bakery. Since we're on the second floor, no one can peek in the windows even if they want to.

Connor plays while I rush to get the laundry done. I straighten up the apartment and run the sweeper before heading down to the bakery to do some baking. I enjoy baking and Connor likes it just as much as I do. While I make and bake the cookies, he plays with his own dough ball, making cookies that only he'll eat.

I'm startled when there's a knock at the door. Connor continues to play with his dough as I slowly walk to the door to answer it.

"Nichole, it's Ava. Are you home?" she calls out.

I left out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. "Coming," I say. Opening the door, I greet her warmly. "Come on in."

"I'm sorry I'm here unannounced," she says apologetically.

"You don't need an invitation; you're always welcome."

"Thank you. Hey, Connor," she says, walking over to where he's playing. The oven timer goes off, and I go behind the counter to remove the cookies before they burn. "It smells so good in here."

"Thank you. Chocolate chip cookies will do that to a home. They are the world's best air freshener."

"They sure are." I watch as she hugs Connor and walks over to where I am. She lowers her voice and says, "I wanted to see if Connor could spend the night."

He's never spent the night away from home before. I know he loves Ava, and would gladly stay the night with her. "Are you sure? The twins are a handful, aren't they?"

She laughs. "They are. Drew and Skylar are out for the night, and Chase and I thought it would be nice to have Connor over. That is, if it's all right with you."

I tell her my concern about him being gone for the night. "I'm not sure how long he'll stay. I know he'll want to go, but if something happens and he wants to come home, call me and I'll be there to get him."

"It looks like he's having a great time. He might not want to leave."

"Only one way to find out."

"Connor?" she asks, walking over to him. "Do you want to spend the night at my house with me, Chase, and the twins?"

He looks excited. "You mean I can sleep there?"

"Yep, until morning. Chase will bring you back after breakfast."

"Yay." He removes his play apron and his chef's hat.

"Give me a minute to get his clothes and some toys ready."

"You can finish up here. I know where his stuff is."

Of course she does. Ava and Skylar helped me arrange his room, closet, and dresser drawers. She probably knows where his stuff is better than I do. "Thank you." I look at Connor, who's racing up the stairs and say, "You can take only two toys with you." When he doesn't answer, I say, "Do you hear me?"

"Yes, Momma. Four toys."

"Two." I start to clean up while Ava helps Connor. Just before they leave, I kiss and hug him. "Call me if he wants to come home, and I'll be there to get him."

"He'll be fine. I'll have him call you before he goes to bed, and again when he wakes up."

"Okay, I appreciate it."

When they leave, I'm not sure what to do. I finish cleaning up and take a hot bath. Then I decide to start a fire outside in the fire pit then relax with a bottle of wine. I'm not sure the last time I did something like this.

I watch as a truck drives by slowly. The brake lights come on and then the truck reverses, stopping in front of the bakery. My heart races since the vehicle doesn't look familiar, then the window rolls down revealing a familiar face. It's Luke Tanner.

"Beautiful night for a fire." I smile at his comment and hold up my wine glass. "And a drink," he adds.

"Care to join me?" Did I just say that? Am I inviting Luke Tanner to have a drink with me? Where did that come from? He seems like a nice guy, but do I really know him?

He puts the truck in park and I watch as his dog, Dale, jumps out after Luke. Dale runs up to me and I watch as Luke slips on a grey hoodie over his tight black tee shirt. His jeans are snug across his butt and I can't look away. Next, he removes a six-pack of beer from the seat of the truck and walks towards me.

"Is Connor in the bakery?" he asks, taking a seat beside me.

"No, he's spending the night with Chase and Ava." Do I really want him to know I'm home alone? Maybe I should have said he was in the house sleeping. I'm terrible at this.

He pops the cap off his beer and puts it into his jean pocket. "How is Ava?" he asks.

"She's good. I forgot you two know each other." I take a sip of my red wine.

"I don't really know her. We met once or twice." I watch as he absent-mindedly pets Dale, who is sitting by his side. "She seems like a nice girl."

"She is."

He looks around the fire pit at the small stack of firewood and asks, "Do you do this often?"

"Not as often as I'd like, but I do enjoy it."

"Is that all the wood you have to burn?"

I look at the small stack of wood. "It is. Why? Is it too much?" I bought two bundles at the store the other day. I hope I didn't buy too much.

He laughs a throaty laugh. "Hold this for me."

He hands me his beer and walks to the back of his pickup truck. Dale follows him. I can see him get something from the bed of the truck, but I can't tell what it is. He closes the tailgate and walks back towards the fire, carrying several large pieces of cut timber. "This should be enough for the night."

"You think we'll need all that?"

He stacks them neatly beside the fire pit. I run my hands up and down my arms to warm them.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure we'll need this, plus some."

He throws a few of the larger pieces of wood in the fire before sitting back down. I hand him his beer and take a sip of my wine as I watch as the dry wood catches quickly and the fire warms the night air.

"You always drive around with firewood in the back of your truck?"

"No, not always." He watches me as he takes a sip of his beer. "I was actually headed out to do some camping tonight."

"Really?" I've never been camping, but I think I would like it.

"It was a last-minute decision. It helps clear my head. Spending some time in the country alone, not much beats it."

I finish off the wine in my glass. He takes it from me without asking and refills it from the bottle on the table setting between us. Thank you," I say when he hands it back to me. He finishes off his beer and opens another one, placing the cap in his jeans pocket.

"I didn't realize there was a campground around here."

"There isn't. I own some property at the end of the cul-de-sac, and Dale and I were heading out there for the night." I watch as he takes a large gulp of his beer. "I'm building a house and wanted to get an early start on it in the morning."

"You own the property at the end of this road?"

"I do believe it's adjacent to your property."

"No kidding." He's really easy to talk to, and I find him quite interesting, not to mention attractive. "You're building a house by yourself?" I ask, slightly confused. I didn't know that one man could build a house.

Dale barks and I startle. He pets him and says, "Dale's helping me."

I laugh. "Sorry, Dale. I didn't mean to exclude you." He barks again and I think I'm forgiven.

"Well, it's a small two-bedroom farmhouse with a loft. It's not a large two-story home, as you were probably thinking."

"It's still impressive. I don't think I ever met a man who built his own home before."

"Doesn't take much to impress you, does it?" He laughs and takes another drink of his beer. His eyes reflect the fire, making them more mysterious than usual.

I decide not to reply to his last comment.

"Dale and I should leave. I just realized we haven't eaten yet."

I laugh and say, "Now that you mention it, I haven't eaten yet either."

He looks at his watch and says, "You up to sharing a pizza?"

"Sure, sounds great."

He pulls out his cell phone and searches his contacts. "What do you want on it?"

"Anything's good with me."

"Pineapple and anchovies?" he asks.

I hope he's kidding. I crinkle my nose and he laughs.

"Let's try this again. What do you want on the pizza?"

"Pepperoni and sausage is good."

He makes the call. "Good, that's my favorite." I listen to him as he places the order. "The address here is?" I tell him and he repeats the address into the phone. "Great, thank you," he says before disconnecting the call. "It'll be about thirty minutes."

Sitting here and drinking my wine, I wonder what we'll talk about for the next half an hour. I don't want to talk about me. I'll start the conversation and maybe I'll be able to keep the topic on neutral ground. Dale stands and then lies in front of the table between Luke and me. Leaning over, I pet him. He's such a unique-looking dog.

"I've never seen a dog like Dale before. May I ask where you got him?"

He looks at Dale fondly. "Dale's family. My great-great grandfather owned one of Dale's ancestors. Dale's ancestors and my ancestors have been part of the same family for a long, long time.

"He's a military dog, right?"

Dale raises his head like he knows what we're talking about.

"They are. I'm surprised you know that." He looks at me.

"I researched his breed after seeing him earlier today. Airedale Terriers have an incredible background."

"They do. There's a story of an Airedale Terrier named Jack who saved his battalion during the First World War. His entire battalion was trapped by shell holes and barbed wire, and Jack needed to get to base to summon for help. Although severely injured, Jack made it back to base and got help, just before he succumbed to his injuries."

"That's an incredible and sad story." I can feel my eyes becoming watery. "I hope I'm not prying, but should I assume you're from a military background?"

I watch as Luke shifts uncomfortably in his seat. "I would say that's a fair assumption." He drinks the last of his beer before opening another one. "So, tell me something about yourself."

Crap. Tell him something about myself. Like what? I was almost beaten to death on more than one occasion. I wished death on my husband, more than once. My husband and son had an affair with the same woman. My grandson could have easily been my stepson. I don't think I'll be saying any of those things. "I love the smell of fresh-cut flowers." We both laugh loudly and I say, "Your turn."

He leans up and refills my wine glass. "Okay, fair enough." He thinks for a moment and says, "I like the smell of a woman's cologne. Your turn."

I wonder for a moment if I'm wearing perfume. I am. Now I wonder if he's flirting with me. I hope so. "I love campfires."

"Obviously." He smiles and asks, "My turn?"

"Yep."

He pauses before speaking. "I like a woman who wears lip gloss."

I bite my lip and the taste of peppermint touches my tongue. He is flirting with me! I try to hide my smile, but I fail.

Lights come up the dark road and I know the pizza is here. Luke stands and says, "I'll get the pizza."

"Okay, I'll get the plates and napkins."

Luke

After the charity event, I planned on heading out to the house, building a campfire, and sleeping in the truck until morning. I needed to get away. I needed time alone. So why in the hell did I stop by the bakery and why am I drawn to Nichole?

I added wood to her small fire that I knew would take a couple hours to burn down. I flirted with her and bought pizza so I could have more time with her.

She's easy to be around, and I like her kindness. I did learn that she doesn't like to talk about her personal life. Maybe it's because she doesn't know me, or maybe it's because she's hiding something. Could be both. It doesn't bother me, since I don't like to talk about myself either. My demons are mine, and I don't want to burden other people with them. I have no idea what people see when they look at me, but I do know it's a struggle to hide the nightmares that haunt me. It's hard to appear normal when you feel anything but.

Before I take a bite of my pizza, I say, "Your turn."

"To do what?" she asks in confusion.

"To tell me something about yourself."

She laughs. "I thought it was your turn?"

"Lip gloss, remember?"

She bites her lip and takes a bite of her pizza. "I love this pizza."

I take a drink of my beer. "That's your turn?"

Her eyes crinkle in amusement as she chews her pizza.

"Okay. I can see where this is going."

I blow on a piece of pizza and give it to Dale to eat. He eagerly takes it from me.

"Are you feeding him that?"

"He loves pepperoni and sausage pizza."

"Is he allowed to have that?" She wipes off her hands and mouth and says, "I mean, should he be eating that?"

I know people would frown on this, but Dale's like my best friend and he usually eats what I do. I know to never feed him certain foods that can be toxic to him. "The vet said it's fine as long as he takes a multi-vitamin every day."

"Your vet said that?"

Not in so many words, but he did mention he needed vitamins. "Yeah. The vet also said Dale isn't lactose-intolerant — only a small percentage of dogs are. He's been eating like this since he was a pup. I'm not sure his stomach could handle real dog food on a daily basis."

The rest of the night we talk about the farmhouse and the bakery. We also talk about Connor and Dale. Once the fire dies down to just a smolder, I gather my empty beer bottles and stand. "Nichole Andrews, thank you for a wonderful evening."

I offer her my free hand and she takes it. Standing, she says, "Luke Tanner, it was... interesting."

Interesting? "I'll take that as a compliment."

"As you should." She releases my hand and pets Dale on his head. "Dale, always a pleasure."

He barks.

"Should I walk you to your car?" I ask.

She looks back at the bakery. "No, I live here. I mean I live upstairs." Nichole picks up her empty wine bottle and glass and heads to the bakery. She turns around and says, "Thanks for dinner."

"You're welcome. Will I see you and Connor tomorrow at the dog park?"

"I'm looking forward to it. Since you bought dinner, maybe I'll bring lunch."

Now look who's flirting. "Good, it sounds like a date." I stand there and watch until she's in her house. "C'mon, Dale. It's time for us to go." We don't go to the unfinished house; I decide to go back home instead.

The next morning, for the first time in a long time, I wake up feeling refreshed. Even after a stressful speech at the benefit, I feel good and rested. I left the event in search of refuge in a secluded area, but ended up spending the rest of the evening in great company. I have a feeling today is going to be a great day. And I'm looking forward to spending more time with Nichole and her grandson, Connor.

I get a call from an unknown number. "Luke here." I answer.

"Luke, I need to see you."

Looking out the kitchen window into the field, I say, "Good morning, and who is this?"

"It's Monica. We need to talk."

I run my hand over my scruffy face. "What do you want and how did you get my new number?"

"I have stalking skills."

I tilt my head back and rock it side to side. "It's over. We have nothing left to talk about. Please leave me alone. Goodbye, Monica."

Before I can hang up she says, "Luke, I'm pregnant."
Chapter Two: Game Changer

Nichole

I'm not surprised when I wake up with a slight hangover. I can't remember the last time I drank an entire bottle of wine by myself. Rolling over, I look at the clock. My first thought is panic that I've slept in from opening the bakery, but then I realize we're closed today. My second thought is, where's Connor? Then I remember he's with Ava and Chase. It's 9:00 and it feels great to sleep in for a change. I think this is another first for me. I lie in bed and remember last night. The fire, the wine, the pizza, and the flirting. God, did I really flirt back? I place the pillow over my head from embarrassment. God, I did.

The phone rings; it's Ava. "Good morning, Ava."

"Good morning. Did I wake you?"

I clear my throat. "No, I was awake. How's Connor?"

"He's good. He wants to stay for lunch, if that's all right? Chase will bring him home shortly after we eat."

I fluff my pillow and lean up against the white headboard. "Of course it's okay. Are you sure, though? You already have enough going on there with the twins."

"It's fine. He's actually a big help, and we like having him here."

Running my hands through my long hair, I say, "Okay, I'll be here when you decide to drop him off."

She laughs and I hear squealing in the background. "I need to go, the girls are tearing up my house, but Chase should be there around 1:00, or shortly after."

We hang up, and I have a cup of coffee and take two Tylenols for my headache. I shower and get ready to meet Luke at the dog park. I decide on a pair of yoga pants and a white sweatshirt I got while visiting Rachael in the Outer Banks. I don't want to seem like I'm putting too much effort into this. Some gold-studded earrings and I look like I'm ready for a casual day at the dog park with Connor, Luke, and Dale. I get butterflies just thinking about seeing him again. I make two turkey and Swiss sandwiches on a Kaiser roll for Luke and me, and a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich for Connor. I add some carrots and celery sticks in a baggie, a few pieces of fresh fruit, three cookies for dessert from the bakery, and some bottled water. A small effort, but it looks like an appetizing meal. Connor might not be hungry since he'll have just had lunch with Ava and Chase. In that case, maybe Luke will feed Connor's meal to Dale. Can dogs have peanut butter and jelly? I decide to make Dale a turkey and Swiss sandwich, too.

I visit with Chase for a few minutes before taking Connor to the dog park. I'm feeling excited about seeing Luke today. I decide Connor and I should stop by the pet store to pick up some healthy treats and a few toys for Dale. I shake my head at the thought of Dale eating pizza for his dinner last night. What other junk does Luke feed him? I'm not sure a dog can stomach foods like that. He seems to be okay and he definitely seemed to like it.

I look in the review mirror at Connor, who's sitting in his car seat. "Do you want to stop by and get Dale a toy from the pet store?"

"Can we look at the puppies, too?"

"I think we'll have time for that."

"Can we buy one, too?"

I smile in the mirror at him. "Don't push your luck."

"Okay, Momma, but I really, really want a puppy."

While at the pet store, Connor spends time in the middle of the store watching and playing with the puppies, kittens, and bunnies. I speak with a clerk about healthy dog snacks and treats. I also ask him about vitamins for dogs. To my surprise, there really is such a thing.

Connor and I buy some dog snacks and a few toys for Dale. I'm very proud of Connor when he doesn't ask again about getting a dog, cat, bird, gerbil, or bunny. I love how much he loves animals, but there's no way we have room at the bakery for one, and I don't have the time needed to care for one.

We arrive at the dog park, and I take Connor and our picnic basket to a nearby shade tree. Connor and I scope out a few dogs that look friendly for him to play with. The pets' owners are nice and always seem happy to let Connor play with them.

I consume myself with Connor and his happiness that I don't even notice the time. When I feel like someone is watching me, I stand and look around the park, expecting to see Luke. I'm disappointed when he isn't here. Connor and I walk to the picnic basket where I left my cell phone. It's already 2:30. I know that Luke said he would be here at 2:00. He doesn't have my number and can't call me, so I have no idea if he's running late, or just decided not to come. It doesn't really matter. Connor and I would have come to the dog park anyway. I do hope that he's all right and nothing serious has happened to him.

"How about we take a break and have some lunch?"

"Ok, Momma, I'm thirsty."

Connor and I wash up with the baby wipes I brought, and then we both have lunch at the picnic table. He tells me what he did last night while staying with Ava, and I listen carefully to every word. Every time I look at him I try to memorize the shape of his brows, the fullness of his cheeks, the shade of his green eyes. I also try to memorize his sweet little voice.

"You know how much I love you, right?"

He giggles. "To the moon and back?"

"And to infinity."

"You always say that."

"Because I always mean it." I put the trash back into the picnic basket and glance back at my watch. It's now past three. "How 'bout we go home?"

"Okay. They're not coming, are they, Momma?"

"I don't think so."

On the drive home, I can't help but wonder what happened to Luke today. He doesn't seem like the person to just lie to someone. It's not like it was a date; we were just going to meet up at the park. Something must have happened. I just hope it isn't anything serious.

Luke

My thoughts have been in a fog ever since Monica called to tell me she was pregnant. I don't believe her, but I guess there's always a slight possibility that maybe it could happen. Condoms aren't a hundred percent safe, right? I look down at my dick with disgust. This is all your fault.

Monica sits across from me on the wooden chair. She's tan, her skin is flawless, and a person seeing her for the first time would think she's stunning. The saying that beauty is only skin deep is correct. It isn't until you get to know her that you learn how screwed up she is. There should be a warning sign written across her forehead to alert men of danger. She's as fucked up as they come. She became this obsessive controlling bitch and wouldn't take no for an answer unless she wanted no for an answer. I tried breaking up with her nicely, but she started becoming clingy and needy. The more I tried to break away from her, the more she'd lie to be with me. Finally, I had to change my number and started spending more time on the farm. It's almost impossible to run into someone on a dead end road.

My mind races with the last time I was intimate with Monica. How long has it been? Two or three months? Some days it seems longer, and then other days it feels like the nightmare I lived was just yesterday.

We're sitting in a small diner just on the outskirts of town. When she called me, she wanted to come over to my house so we could talk. I've learned my lesson on that. If she comes over, I'll have to physically force her to leave or call the police to escort her out of my house. Then she wanted me to go to her house so we could talk there. That wasn't going to happen either. A public place is the only place I'll meet Monica.

I sit across from her and she pulls out something wrapped in a paper towel from her purse. I carefully remove the paper towel, revealing a home pregnancy test strip. "You show me a stick with two red lines and I'm supposed to believe what? You're pregnant? That it's mine?"

"Yes, that is exactly what you're supposed to think."

"Honestly, I'm having a hard time believing this is even a legit test. People sometimes sell positive pregnancy tests to make money."

"What? You think I drew those red lines on it, or bought it from someone? It's positive, Luke, and you're the dad. Now what are you going to do about it?"

The waitress walks over and I raise my hand to dismiss her. I refocus my attention to Monica. "Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do think you drew those red lines on it."

"And why would I do that?"

"Why do you do anything you do?" To trap me. To extort money from me. To force us to be a couple. Marriage.

She leans into the table. "You think you're some prize to be won," she hisses. "You think you're something special?"

I lean in even closer to the table and my voice is just a whisper. "No, but after the incident the last time we were together, you must understand my concern." I remember it so clearly. I went to her house to get the last of my belongings, and she said if I broke up with her, she would call the police and say I hit her. My career and my reputation would suffer from her lies. Those who know me would know that could never be the truth, but people who don't know me would surely side with her. I couldn't risk it. I couldn't take the chance of her following through with such a lie. I stayed and the next day when she left, I ran far and fast from her.

She smiles and sits back in her seat. She raises her voice and I glare at her. "Look, like it or not, I'm pregnant and it's yours." She gently places both of her hands on her abdomen.

I hear the gasps and can feel the dirty looks from the other patrons. I swear this bitch took drama classes in college. I lean in closer and smile for the audience. "Prove it."

She tosses me the pregnancy test strip. "I did. Duh," she says, rolling her eyes like a teenager.

"Take another test. Right here. Right now." Before she can tell me she can't because she doesn't have one, I pull a box from my jacket pocket and toss it on the table.

"I can't believe you went out and bought a pregnancy test?"

"Excuse me for having my doubts. Just take the test, will you?"

She releases a huff of air. "Fine."

What? Really? She stands. She's wearing a flowing shirt and a pair of jeans. She never wears flowing, baggy, or loose-fitted clothing. "Watch my purse," she says as she storms off to the restroom.

I expected a fight, or at least an argument. Why is she so eager to take this test? Do I have anything to worry about? I always wore protection. I wipe the sweat from my brow, and look around the room. Members of the audience we had earlier have now gone back to enjoying their meal and their company. She's wearing a loose top. Would she be showing? Is she smart enough to be acting the part so soon? I exhale loudly. I swear the next eighteen years of my life replay in my mind. What if she is pregnant? Child support is the last thing I'm worried about. My ties to Monica are what haunt me the most. To be a father to our child, I'll need to be around her. We'll need to talk to discuss the baby and how it should be raised. We have different opinions, and raising a child will be a major task. We won't be a couple, but we'll still need to communicate. Often. I blame this all on my dick. It's his fault. If she is pregnant, I'll never be rid of her. She'll always be in my life, one way or another. I make a white-knuckled fist as I sit there and wait. How will I be able to make this work? I'm single and childless in my fifties. This was no accident. It was a well-executed plan on my part.

The wait feels too long. How long does it take to pee on a stick? I sit up straighter when I see her walking towards me carrying the opened box. My heart races, but I try to remain calm. A baby? At my age? How can this be happening? I honestly have no idea if this is true, how I'll make it work. When we split up, I never wanted to see her again. Hatred is a harsh word, but it's the nicest word I have to describe my feelings for her. If this test is negative, I'll want to rush out and get a vasectomy. If this test is positive, I'll still want to rush out and get a vasectomy. Makes me wish I already had one.

She sits down without saying a word, and tosses the opened box on the table. I wait for her to say something or at least show me the test strip, but she just sits there. Smug. No expression on her face. Nothing to reveal her thoughts. I pick up the pregnancy test box and find it's empty. What the hell!

"Well?"

"What?" she asks.

What does she mean what? "Where's the test?"

"I couldn't pee."

Of course she couldn't. I stand to leave and say, "If you need me for anything, contact my attorney."

Nichole

It's been three days since Luke and I sat outside and had pizza by the fire. It's been two days since he didn't show up at the dog park. I'm worried and slightly upset with him for not trying to contact me. Maybe I have no right to feel like this. After all, it wasn't a date we had planned, but we did have plans for the day. Even if it wasn't a date, he could have stopped in at the bakery to let me know why he wasn't there. I keep telling myself I'm more upset for Connor. He was disappointed, and I hate seeing him face disappointment so early in his young life.

It's just before closing when I see a familiar truck pull up outside. Rachael is gone for the day and Connor's at school. I'm surprised to see Luke here in the middle of the day. He gets out of the truck, wearing jeans, a gray tee-shirt, and work boots.

The last customer stands from the table. "Thank you," she says before walking out the door.

I remove my apron and close up the display cabinets. I don't want this to feel awkward, but it does. It was a disappointment when Luke didn't show up at the dog park. Maybe he has a good reason. I'm not sure that it even matters. I hate the feeling of disappointment. I expected more of him. I expected that when he said something he would commit to it. Even if it is saying he'll be someplace at a certain time.

While washing my hands, I hear the bell over the door chime. "Is it too late for a coffee and an apology?"

A man who knows when he's wrong is a man who's after my own heart. I dry my hands and try to hide my smile. I can't let him off the hook so fast. I turn around slowly. "You're in luck: If you have the apology, I have the coffee."

I pour coffee for both of us and we take a seat at the small two-top table in the corner of the room. I remain silent, waiting for him to speak.

"It was never my intention to hurt you. The day I was going to meet you and Connor at the dog park, I received an unexpected phone call."

Concern fills me. My first thought is something happened to someone he cares about. "I hope everything's okay."

His eyes meet mine. "It's not what you think." He doesn't give me time to say anything else. "I broke up with a girl a few months ago."

Oh, he's here to tell me he's getting back with her. I feel a twinge of sadness, but I try to hide it. "I understand, Luke."

"No, I don't think you do, Nichole." He lowers his coffee mug from his lips. "She called to tell me that she's pregnant."

"Oh." This isn't what I thought he was going to tell me. I can see the sadness on his face. Shouldn't he be happy about this? Maybe the relationship ended badly. Of course it ended badly, otherwise they'd still be together. "This comes as a surprise to you?"

"It does. I asked to meet her and she showed me a positive pregnancy test strip." I was hoping to get to know him better. To get to know him on a personal level. Should I congratulate him? It doesn't seem fitting. "With the past we had, I didn't believe that she could be pregnant. Then when she produced a positive test, I even questioned that." He looks past me and says, "We didn't date long, and she wasn't the person I thought she was."

"It sounds complicated."

"It was." He runs his hands through his graying hair. "It is."

"What are you planning on doing?"

"Before I met her at the diner that day, I stopped by and bought a pregnancy test from the drug store."

"You didn't believe her?"

"No, not at all. After she showed me the positive test, I told her I would wait while she took another test right there at the diner while I waited."

I'm shocked. She must have done a number — or a number of numbers — on him for him to be so doubtful. "What did she do?"

"She went into the restroom, and I waited for her at the table."

Just tell me already. "Are congratulations in order?" I ask sarcastically. I know this is not a laughing moment. I just feel like I need to take some tension off of him.

He smiles slightly. It's the first smile I've seen from him today. Well, if you can call it a smile. It's close enough. "When she finally returned after what felt like hours, she said she couldn't pee."

I recall when I was pregnant with my son, I could pee even when I didn't know I had to. Of course, I don't say that.

"I knew right then that she was lying. I told her to contact my attorney if she needed me for anything else."

"Wow." I sit back in my seat. "I don't know what to say." I'm not sure why he's telling me all of this. Why not just say something came up and he's sorry? Why is he going into great detail about this?

"I just wanted you to know that I really wanted to be at the park that day with you and Connor. But I had to — I needed to — take care of this with Monica first. I should have called you at the bakery, but I didn't think about it at the time."

"I understand." I could tell him I know all about crazy women, crazy men, and crazy relationships, but I don't. Some things are better kept to yourself.

"I just wanted to be honest with you." He takes a deep breath and says, "The first warning sign I saw, I tried to end it with her. The more I tried to break it off with her, the crazier she became."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"Thank you. If it's okay with you, I'd like to reschedule our date in the park." Date in the park? My belly flutters at the mention of a date. "I also need to apologize to Connor. I know he was looking forward to playing with Dale."

I remember the toys and snacks we bought for Dale and the disappointment on his little face when they weren't there. "He was pretty disappointed," I admit sadly.

Luke leans up in his chair. "I hate to think I was the reason for that."

I'd like to reschedule a play date in the park with Connor and Dale. But I don't want to expose Connor to another chance of being let down. I don't think Luke would stand us up again, but what if he did? I have to protect Connor. "What if we just plan on being at the park at the same time one day. Would that be okay?"

"You don't trust me?" he asks sadly.

I sigh. "I just don't want to chance that something else won't come up again."

"I understand, but you can trust me to not hurt him again. If I say I'll be there, I'll move heaven and earth to be there."

"To hurt me is one thing; to hurt my grandson is another."

Luke

Nichole's last statement cut me to my core. I know she's protective of her grandson, as she should be. I can't imagine what it's like for her to be raising her only grandson alone. I don't know the story of why or how she gained custody of him. Maybe one day she'll feel like sharing it with me. I have wondered if her only son didn't die, or I guess it's possible that he could have been on drugs and wasn't able to care for him. But what about the child's mother? Where is she?

"I'll be at the park at 5:00 pm." I had no plans of taking Dale to the park today, but if it means I get to spend more time with Nichole, then I'll be there.

"Today?" she asks.

I look at my watch. "In three hours, to be exact." She looks hesitant. "If today doesn't work, I'll be there tomorrow, too."

She giggles. "What if tomorrow doesn't work for us either?"

Think, Luke. "It just so happens, Dale and I will be at the park every day this week at 5:00."

"Every day, you say?"

"Every single day until I run into you. I owe Connor an apology." The alarm on my phone alerts me that I have an expected delivery coming in. "I need to get back to the farm, but maybe I'll see you later this evening," I say as I stand from the table.

"I need to get back to work, too. Thank you for stopping in. I do appreciate that." She also stands from the table and reaches for both coffee mugs.

"I'm sorry it took so long. I needed to make sure Monica was done playing her games."

"And is she done?" she asks.

"For now." It's the most honest answer I can give.

After the delivery comes and I get everything put away, Dale and I eat before heading to the dog park. I'm glad that Nichole and I talked today and that she wasn't too upset with me. She also let me know where she stands with Connor. "To hurt me is one thing; to hurt my grandson is another." I would never hurt her, and I certainly will never do anything to hurt Connor.

Dale and I play ball and Frisbee until 6:30. "Well, boy, it looks like she might be madder than I thought. Lucky for you, you get to come back again tomorrow." He wags his tail in understanding. I guess this is my payback. She probably wants me to know what it feels like to be stood up. It sucks. Feeling disappointed, we leave and head home.

Nichole

When Connor gets off the school bus, we have dinner and play a few games together. When I ask him if he wants to go to the dog park, I'm surprised at his answer.

"Can we watch a movie instead?"

I don't tell him about Luke being here earlier today; I don't want to take the chance that Luke may not be there again. Connor and I don't watch much television, so I'm surprised when he asks to watch a movie. Movie nights are special for us, since we don't have them very often.

"Sure, what do you want to watch?"

"Can we watch Trolls?"

"Trolls? Where did you hear about that movie?"

"I watched it at Ava and Chase's house. It's funny, you'll like it," he says, nodding his head.

I smile at my little boy. "Okay, should I make popcorn?"

He hops down off the couch and says, "Yep, and we need to wear our pajamas, too."

Sounds good to me. I make the popcorn and think that if I had Luke's phone number, I would call him and let him know tomorrow might be a better day for us to meet. I hope he isn't too disappointed that we aren't there. He'll probably think it's intentional. I smile to myself. Why am I feeling a little pleasure from thinking that? It'll be good for him to get a taste of his own medicine.

The next day, just before closing time, I see Skylar and Drew pull up outside.

Connor's still at preschool, and Rachael and I are cleaning up. "There's the kids," Rachael says, smiling. Rachael had a set of identical twin boys. One of her sons passed away from cancer nearly two years ago, and his twin, Drew, married a friend of Ava's. "I haven't seen them in days," she says.

Rachael removes her apron and greets them at the door. I brew some fresh coffee and get some cookies and pastries set out on a serving platter for everyone. "Long time, no see," she says.

I remove my apron and greet them with Rachael. I hug Skylar and then Drew after Rachael does, and we take a seat at the table.

"I was waiting for a call to see how the charity event went," Rachael says, pouring everyone a cup of coffee.

Drew lost his leg during combat a few years earlier. They don't talk much about it, and I don't ask. I didn't know until someone told me that Drew had a missing limb. I see him often and I couldn't tell from his gait; he walks very well with his prosthetic leg. Modern prosthetics are much better than they were the days of wooden legs. I love science.

"It was great," Drew says. "They raised a significant amount of money for our injured war vets and their families."

"That's great news," Rachael beams.

"There's more," Skylar says.

"Oh?" Rachael seems surprised.

Drew shuffles in his seat, and I wonder if it isn't personal. I decide to busy myself with placing a pastry on each of the plates.

"I didn't know until the other night, but I know who the man is who saved me that night in Afghanistan. He was in the vehicle behind mine when the bomb went off. I was in so much pain, and with all the commotion, I never got the name of the person who helped me. He wasn't in our platoon since they had just called in reinforcements.

I look at Rachael and she places her hand over her heart. "He was at the event?" she asks.

"He was. He gave a speech about it."

"Oh, Drew. I wish I could have been there." Rachael wipes the tears falling from her eyes.

Drew speaks softly. "I met him once here, and I thought he looked familiar, but I didn't know from where."

"You met him here? At the bakery?" I ask in surprise. Could it be one of my customers is a small-town hero? I'm sure there are several who could fit that description. Sometimes people are modest, and you don't find out they were war heroes until you read their obituary.

"Do we know him?" Rachael asks.

Drew says, "I don't know. I saw him here only that one time. But then again, I'm not here all that often."

"You may remember him, Nichole." Skylar sits straighter and holds Drew's hand. "He was here one night after closing. The night Ava was pregnant and we all came in for lemon tarts and coffee."

"Luke Tanner?" I ask.

"Yes, do you remember him?" Skylar asks.

I can feel Rachael looking at me. I don't think she knows him. "He's been here a few times. He doesn't stand out so you probably wouldn't remember him."

Rachael looks back at Drew.

Luke Tanner's a hero? He's never mentioned any of this. Why would he? We haven't ever spoken about anything serious before. I've seen him only in brief encounters. We did have drinks by the fire one night, but neither of us spoke about ourselves.

Drew, Skylar, and Rachael talk about the night that changed Drew's life forever. Skylar sniffles and Rachael cries. They talk about what Drew said to him in the parking lot after the event. I try to remember how Skylar and Ava know him. Once the conversation takes a different direction, I ask, "How do you and Ava know Luke Tanner?"

"I met him at the inn one day."

"He was a guest?" I find it odd that a local would be staying at the inn.

Skylar says, "He was there to see Ava. She read about a man in the paper who saved a woman and her children from her husband who was beating on her in front of their kids."

"Oh!" Rachael and I say in unison.

"She sent the man a gift card and he returned it to her."

"The hero was Luke Tanner?" I ask.

"Yep, it sure was. He said he didn't date much and wouldn't be needing the gift card."

I suddenly have a newfound respect for Luke. When Drew and Skylar leave, I inform Rachael that Luke was in the parking lot of the nightclub the one and only night when we both went out. Then he was here early one morning before we opened. "You said something about good-looking customers or something."

"I remember that, but I'm not sure I'd remember him if I ever saw him again." She lowers her voice. "If he's ever here again, would you let me know? I'd like to personally thank him for saving my son and bringing the other soldiers home to their families." She stops and the next words are a mere whisper. "Even if it was for a proper burial."

I smile a sad smile. I can't even begin to imagine what Drew, Luke, and the other soldiers go through or went through during their tour of duty. "I would, too."
Chapter Three: The Dating Game

Luke

"Well, Dale, I think I've officially ruined any chance of running into Nichole and Connor again." He howls his displeasure. Rubbing behind his ear, I say, "C'mon, boy, it's time to admit defeat. This is day two and I'm pretty sure I've blown it."

As I begin my walk of shame to the car, I hear a familiar voice. "Where ya going?"

Looking over my shoulder, I see Connor and Nichole walking towards us. They're both wearing a pair of jeans and a blue and white hoodie. I'm not sure it was intentional or purely accidental that they are dressed alike. She's also carrying a picnic basket. I watch as Connor throws a ball to Dale and says, "Catch it, Dale."

Nichole laughs as Dale catches the ball. "It's called 'fetch it,' Connor."

"That's what I said, 'catch it.'"

I walk toward her and she says, "You didn't answer me." I'm so glad to see them that I can't remember the question. "I said, where ya going?"

Should I tell her I'd given up on them coming today? Nah, I won't admit that to her, not today, maybe not ever. "We were heading to the food vendors," I lie. "It's suppertime." That part's the truth.

"I see," she says, looking behind me at the street vendors. "Lucky for you, I brought us all dinner."

This is a pleasant surprise. "May I?" I ask, reaching for the picnic basket.

"Yes, thank you." She hands me the heavy basket, and we walk in the direction of the blanket I brought just in case they came. "Sorry we're late," she says, not offering a reason. She doesn't need one. I'm just glad to see them here. I could assume the dinner is what caused her tardiness. She watches Connor as he plays with Dale. "I hate to rush into a meal, but Connor hasn't eaten yet. Would you mind if we ate now?"

"No, not at all. Let me walk over and get him."

"Great, I'll set everything up."

Her smile is infectious.

"I'm glad you're here," I admit.

"Me, too."

I walk over to get Connor, and he whines because he has to eat before he can play more with Dale. I decide now I should apologize for not being here the day I told him I would. "Connor, I think I owe you an apology."

"What's an apology?" he asks innocently as he kicks a rock.

This isn't going to be as easy as I thought. He's going to make me earn his forgiveness. "It's when you say you're sorry for doing something wrong."

He throws the tennis ball again and tells Dale to "catch it." Like the good dog that he is, Dale does.

"I told you the other day I would be at the park, and I wasn't here. I hope you didn't wait long or was upset I wasn't here."

"I don't 'member. Momma and I stayed home and watched a movie the other day."

"Oh." That was easier than I thought. If only all apologies were that easy, I think a lot more people would make them. "Let's eat, and then we'll play."

"Okay."

When I look up, Nichole is kneeling on the blanket, smiling. I wonder whether she could hear our conversation. By the grin on her face, I'd say she could.

We all gather on the blanket and have idle conversation. I'd like to have time to talk more to her on a personal level, but if this is all I can get today, then I'm okay with that.

She hands me a sandwich. "Against my better judgment, I made a sandwich for Dale."

I take the sandwich from Nichole and smile. "Against your better judgment?"

"There's something about feeding a dog this, that doesn't seem right."

I give Dale a piece of the bread. "Well, Dale isn't like most dogs."

"No, he sure isn't."

She pulls something out of a bag and hands it to Connor. I watch as Connor stands to feed a dog biscuit to Dale. "We also brought him something nutritious."

"I just hope he can digest that." I'm not half joking about that.

"Me, too," Nichole whispers under her breath.

After dinner, Nichole and I sit on the blanket and watch as Connor plays with Dale.

"I wasn't sure you'd be here today," I finally admit.

She looks over at me. "Connor didn't want to leave the house yesterday. I would have called, but I didn't have your phone number."

"He told me you both stayed home and watched a movie."

"We did. It's very seldom we have movie night. So when he asked if we could, I couldn't say no."

"I understand." I reach into my wallet and hand her my business card. "Now you do."

She holds it up and says, "No excuses now." I watch as she looks at it before placing it into her cell phone case.

As we sit here, I decide that I should officially ask her out. I like her and I want to get to know her better. "I was wondering if you're not doing anything on Saturday, that maybe we could go out?"

She looks up at me and asks, "To dinner?"

I want to laugh, but I'm a smart man. "I was thinking it would be around dinner time. So, yes, dinner and possibly a movie."

She pauses for a moment and I wonder if I should have waited a little longer to ask her. "It's been awhile since I've dated," she says in almost a warning tone.

I'm not sure what to say. "Would it help if we called this a date?" I ask, looking at the picnic basket.

She laughs. "It would and I would love to have another date with you, Luke." She looks from one of my eyes to the other. "I need to make sure I can get child care before I commit to going out with you Saturday."

I'd like for it to just be her and me, but if it doesn't work out, I'm fine with Connor coming along with us. "If not, we can bring Connor with us."

She looks away and watches Connor and Dale playing in the field. "I'll try to get Skylar or Ava to watch him." She looks back at me and says, "I'll ask them tonight, and then I'll get back with you."

"No need, let's just plan on me picking you up at 6:00 pm on Saturday, whether you have a babysitter or not."

"Do you have children, Luke?"

"No, I don't. I was never lucky enough to meet someone I wanted to have children with. Why do you ask?"

"I just wondered if you knew what you were getting yourself into. Date night with a small child can have its challenges."

"I think I'm up to the challenge," I say confidently.

"Okay, I'll at least call and let you know whether it'll just be me or me and Connor."

"The only thing it'll change is where we'll have dinner and what movie we'll watch." I say it because it's the truth. To know in advance will give me time to plan a kid-friendly evening.

"Thank you, Luke."

A half hour later, I walk Connor and Nichole to their car. I wait and watch as they drive away before Dale and I leave. I'm glad they showed up today and that she agreed to see me a second time.

I drive home and run five miles for my evening exercise before showering and turning in for the night. My phone rings just before 10:00 pm from an unknown number. I answer it, praying it's not Monica. No matter how many times I've changed my phone number, she still manages to get it.

"Tanner here," I answer coldly. "State your business."

There's a pause before someone speaks. "Luke, it's Nichole. I hope I didn't catch you at a bad time."

I clear my throat and soften my tone. "No, you didn't. How are you?"

"I'm good. I just wanted to let you know that I have child care for Connor on Saturday."

"Oh, good. Did Ava agreed to watch him for you?"

"No, actually it was a friend of mine. She works at the bakery with me. Rachael? You may have seen her there."

If I did, I don't remember her. "Should I pick you up earlier so we have time to drop him off at her house?"

"No, that won't be necessary. She and her husband will be picking him up."

I want her to know how I feel. "I hope you know I don't mind dropping him off or taking him with us."

There's another pause. "I know and I appreciate it. I'll see you at 6:00 Saturday evening."

"Okay, I'll see you then. Have a great week, Nichole."

"You, too, and good night."

"Good night."

Nichole

I didn't see Luke at all this week, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. Usually he stops in the bakery at least once during the week for a coffee. The closer the weekend comes, the more anxious I get about our date. Am I too old to date? Am I making a huge mistake? Is it too soon for me to be introducing Connor to a man? Is it too soon for me after what I've been through with Brett? I have so many mixed emotions.

"I think you should wear the red dress," Rachael says, holding it up for me.

While sitting on my bed, I roll my eyes. "Definitely not the red dress. Is there a black one in there?"

"You're not wearing black." She walks back into the walk-in closet. "You need something with color," she murmurs.

I stand from the bed and walk into the closet with her. "What about jeans and a sweater?" I ask while searching through the sweaters folded on the shelf.

"What if he shows up in a suit and tie?" she asks, stopping to look at me.

I can't argue with her, she has a point. "Okay, but not the red dress. Something less flashy."

When we finally agree on a dress, I force her to leave. Rachael is my best friend although she is driving me crazy.

As soon as she leaves with Connor, I open a bottle of wine and take a bubble bath. I try to not think about this as a date, but more like two people having dinner. Something like what we did at the dog park last weekend. It isn't working. I know this is different. I just hope I'm ready for whatever this night brings.

I remove the red nail polish I normally wear, and repaint my nails with a clear coat. When I was married to Brett, I was never allowed to wear red nail polish, but since he's gone, it's usually all I wear. I guess I'm being defiant in my own way. But there's something about red that is bold and flashy, and I don't want to appear to be either on this date.

I also decide to wear the flowing black dress with black heels that Rachael and I disagreed on. I take another look at the red dress still hanging on the door and smile. I was never allowed to wear anything red when Brett and I were married. Shortly after our divorce, I bought a few red articles of clothing, this red dress being one of them. I also bought a red sweater, red shoes, a red purse, a red pea coat, and some red lingerie. Smiling, I slip into the red lingerie. Not because it's sexy and I want to be seen wearing it at the end of the night, but because I know Brett wouldn't approve. Maybe one day I won't think about him and maybe one day, I won't give a crap what he would approve or disapprove of. Maybe one day I'll feel free to wear anything I want whenever I want. But that day isn't today. I include a tan-colored pressure garment around my stomach. Thanks to Brett that this will always be a part of my wardrobe, no matter what I decide to wear.

Just as I'm finishing putting on my earrings and a few bangle bracelets, I hear a car pull into the parking lot. Looking outside, I'm expecting to see Luke's truck, but instead I watch Luke exit an older black Mercedes Benz. He is wearing a black suit and tie, and I'm glad I didn't decide to wear jeans and a sweater. He adjusts his jacket and struts confidently towards the bakery. He looks handsome and walks with authority.

I stand back from the window and watch as he walks towards the residents' entrance of the bakery. I look into the mirror and apply some clear lip-gloss and put my heels on before he knocks. My plan is to be ready when he arrives. I don't want to keep him waiting. Looking at my watch, I see it's exactly 6:00. How do people time their arrival to the exact minute? Just as I slip my foot into my last shoe, there's a knock at the door.

Suddenly, I feel nervous. I run the lint roller over my black dress one last time before answering the door.

Before I can say anything, he looks at me and says, "You look stunning."

I smile big. He didn't say nice or pretty. Stunning. When was the last time someone said that to me? I honestly don't know. "Please, come in." I open the door wider for him and he walks in. Closing the door behind him, I return his compliment. "You look nice. I don't think I've ever seen you in a suit and tie before."

"I wear them only on special occasions." My heart beats a little faster and I smile again. "Do you need to be back at a certain time?" he asks. I'm not sure how to answer that. Connor is staying the night with Rachael and Daniel, but do I want Luke to know that? "I'm only asking because there's this restaurant I wanted to take you to, but it's about an hour away. We could skip the movie if you needed to be back. Or we could..."

I interrupt, "No, that's fine. I don't need to be back at a certain time." It sounds like he put some thought into this date. And to be honest, I think I like the idea of spending some time with him. The long drive there will give us some time to talk.

"Great. Are you ready?"

"I am."

He holds the door open for me, and walks out behind me, locking up and making sure the door is secured behind him. I see a black Jeep with tinted windows drive slowly past the bakery. I get cold chills and I can't be sure why. It's a beautiful warm spring day. He offers me his elbow when we reach the bottom of the stairs, and I gladly take it.

Once we're on the highway, I ask, "So where is it we're going this evening?"

"To Brunswick. There's a very nice restaurant that my mother, father, sister, and I used to frequent. I haven't been there in years. I googled it and saw that it's still owned by the same family. So, I thought we could go there."

"I've never been to Brunswick. I stopped there to get gas while passing through, but I've never been any further than the exit."

He tells me he's been there often and it's a beautiful area, and then adds, "The restaurant is known for their steaks and seafood, but they also have some wonderful vegetarian meals."

"It's hard to pass up shrimp or scallops."

"I agree. I'm glad to see that you don't eat only salads."

I try to hold back a laugh. "Not hardly. But I do like a salad with my seafood."

"Good, me, too."

When we become quiet, I say, "How long were you in the Army?" I ask.

"Almost thirty years."

"That's a long time."

"It is. It's all I know."

"I wouldn't say that. You're constructing your own home. That's something."

"Thank you."

On the drive there, we talk about the bakery and my grandson. He doesn't talk much about himself and I don't say anything about my past. It isn't awkward, but it'll make it hard to get to know each other if we don't open up about something.

I remain quiet and take in the sights of Brunswick. The restaurant is situated in the downtown area with outdoor seating. Luke uses valet parking and we are led to a small intimate table outside.

"I hope this is okay?"

"It's perfect," I say honestly. He pulls my chair out for me and I thank him before sitting.

Once we order drinks, he says, "So, tell me something about yourself."

I was afraid this would come up. How much do I tell him? Anything I say will turn this mood somber. "My past is somewhat hard to explain and it's difficult to talk about."

"So, tell me something about your life now."

The only thing I can think of is little Connor. "I'm still getting used to the fact that I'm raising my grandchild."

"How is that going, if you don't mind me asking?"

The server comes to the table with our drinks and she takes our dinner order. I remain quiet until she leaves. "It's scary and wonderful at the same time."

"He's a great kid."

"He is."

"How long has he been with you?"

"Just about a year."

"Does he ever see his mom and dad?"

I pause. "No, they're both deceased."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"Thank you. He doesn't remember either of them."

"No, I guess he wouldn't."

"His father, my son, died before he was born."

He looks at me sympathetically. "I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thank you. It was quite devastating."

Our salads come and I'm grateful for the distraction.

"I was thinking after dinner, we could ride around and see more sights before heading home."

"That is a great idea."

Luke changes the direction of the conversation away from me and makes himself the focus. He tells me about his earlier days in the military. He laughs as he recalls his basic training and the years of being a drill sergeant. "I can honestly say that was the best job I ever had."

"I don't know much about it, but it doesn't seem so great to me."

"It was. It's a lot of hard work but to see cadets turn into soldiers, it was incredible. To be there to witness when a soldier finally sees his potential, it's pretty incredible and a massive source of pride for the instructors. To see a man transform into a soldier, I don't have words to describe the feeling."

Smiling, I say, "Like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly?"

He laughs, "Maybe it's more powerful than that, but yeah, you get the picture."

I suddenly remember that Skylar and Drew told me that Luke was there during the attack on Drew in Afghanistan. I vividly remember the sadness on Drew and Skylar's face. I focus my attention back on Luke's story.

He's very knowledgeable and seems to know the area. Just after 10:00 p.m. we get on the highway and head home. I've come to realize that conversation doesn't come easily to either of us. Neither of us likes talking about ourselves.

"You mentioned having a sister. Does she live around here?"

"No, she lives in Indiana."

"Oh, is that where you're from?"

"No, my family is from Georgia." He stops as if he's remembering something. "Like me, my sister Angie joined the service right out of high school where she met a soldier; they quickly fell in love. Deciding the military life wasn't right for them, after their four years of service, they got out." He takes a drink of his water. "They got married, started a successful business, but after my mother's death, they sold the business and they both moved to Indiana."

"I imagine being in the service would be difficult for a young married couple."

"Because of the service you do tend to move a lot."

"You moved around a lot, too?"

He loosens his tie. "Not by choice. About every three or four years, I would get stationed someplace new, someplace different. It came with the job. I never married and didn't really settle down, so I was always excited about living someplace new, someplace different."

We have dinner and keep the talking to a minimum. We decline dessert and he drive around Brunswick showing me some points of interest. On the drive home, he tells me about his childhood. About his mother, his father, and his sister. I also share some stories of my own childhood.

When we pull up at the bakery, I see the same black Jeep driving down the street. Luke watches in his rearview mirror but says nothing. He parks the car and says, "Stay here, I'll get the door for you."

I watch as he walks around the car, looking around the property before reaching my side of the car. He takes my hand and helps me out. Just when we reach the top of the stairs, he says, "Are you up for dessert?"

My first thought is something inappropriate. "Excuse me?"

His eyes get big and he lets out a throaty laugh. "That's not what I meant, I swear." He clears his throat and says, "Are you up for an outdoor fire and smores?"

I look down at the fire pit in the backyard. "I'd love to, but I'm out of firewood."

"I have plenty at the new house. We can build it there, where there's an unlimited supply of wood."

It takes me only a second to know that this is what I want. "I'd love to." I'm hoping the more we get to know each other, the easier the conversation will flow. "I need to change first."

"Good. I'll wait." I unlock the door and he opens it for me. "I'll wait for you out here."

"You can come in and wait."

"It's okay, I'll wait here."

"Okay, just give me a minute." I walk into the apartment over the bakery and he closes the door behind me, shutting himself out of the house. I hurry and change into a sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. After I brush my teeth and pull my hair into a high ponytail, I'm ready to go. When I open the door, I'm expecting to see him on the porch. When he isn't there, I see him standing down by his car near the road. He waves and smiles when he sees me. I lock up and meet him down by his car.

Luke

The date didn't go as smoothly as I wanted it to. It's hard to talk when neither of us likes talking about ourselves. When I turned into the bakery and saw the same Jeep that was there earlier, I became very suspicious. I didn't want this night to end, and I didn't feel right about dropping her off when I had a feeling she was being watched. But why would someone be watching her? I can't imagine that she would have any enemies. I couldn't say anything to her, and she didn't seem to have noticed. So I was happy when she agreed to spend more time with me on the farm.

When she went in to change, I saw the same Jeep circling around the bakery. That's when I went down to my car to wait for her. I wanted to try to see who was driving and I also wanted the driver to see I was still here and I saw them. As I got closer to the road, the Jeep sped up and left.

I watch as she walks out onto the porch from the upstairs apartment. Even in jeans and a hoodie, she looks radiant. Opening her car door for her, I say, "I need to stop by my house and change first. I hope that's all right."

"Of course. You'll be somewhat overdressed if you don't."

When I pull out onto the main road, I say, "If it's okay, I'd like to get Dale and change vehicles. I don't usually take my car out to the new house. Not until I get the driveway paved. It's a little rough out there."

"Sure, whatever you need to do, I'm fine with."

I laugh and say, "If I was better at this, I would have had everything all planned out and ready." We drive to my house in silence. It's a short drive and the ride isn't uncomfortable. We walk into the house and Dale greets us. My home is small and modest. But it's clean and orderly. I change quickly into a pair of jeans and a plaid flannel shirt. We then climb into the truck and Dale rides in the cab. "One more stop and I'll be ready."

She laughs. "You need ingredients to make smores?"

"I do, and some beer and wine. We may get thirsty."

Once I get everything we need, we drive past the bakery towards my property at the end of the road. I push the button and the gate opens.

"I didn't know this place was here."

"Really?" I pull in and close the gate behind us.

She looks around, into the darkness. "I guess I've never been at the end of the street before."

When I park the truck, Dale jumps out and barks, indicating he's home. "As soon as I build a fire, it won't seem so secluded."

She looks around into the darkness. I watch as she warms her arms with her hands. "It's getting chilly."

"Here, wear this." I hand her a jacket from the back of the seat and build a fire. "This will warm you up quickly." I'm thankful when the dry wood catches easily. Dale sits near Nichole and waits with her. Once the fire catches, it warms the chilly air and lights up the dark area.

I open the wine and fill a plastic cup for her before opening my beer. "Here's to warm fires and quiet nights."

"Cheers." She looks back over her shoulder at the new construction of my future home. "This is your house?"

"Well, if you can call it that. It's the shell of what will be my new home."

"Do you know when it'll be done?"

I look back at the building. "I'm hoping in a year or two."

She then looks away from the house and scans the flat land and acreage. "Looks like a great piece of land."

"It is. We like it, don't we, Dale?" After a brief silence, I say, "I was hoping this evening would have gone better than it did. I don't date much and I don't like talking about my personal life."

"Sadly, you're in good company, but I still had a good time."

I take a big drink of my beer. "Makes it tough to get to know each other, doesn't it?"

Looking up at me, she says, "It sure does."

Dale finds a warm spot near the fire and lies down.

"I'd like to get to know you better, so maybe we can remedy this." Before she can say anything, I add, "Maybe every time we see each other, we can tell the other person one personal thing about ourselves. It has to be something significant, or we won't get anywhere. If either of us wants to talk more about it, we can. If not, we'll come back to it at a later time."

She nods her head. "I'm willing to try that."

"Yeah?" I ask hopefully.

"I'll go first." I watch as she gathers her thoughts. "Little Connor is my only living blood relative."

Whoa. I didn't expect that. "I'm sorry."

She nods and I see a tear slide down her cheek. "Thank you, it's your turn."

I inhale. "My mother was murdered, and I still feel responsible because I wasn't there to stop it."

Our eyes meet and I know she wants to ask me about it. I'm grateful when she doesn't.

"I'm sorry."

"It was a long time ago."

"Feeling responsible for not being there is a lot to put on one person."

I don't reply. She won't understand and I really don't want to relive it by talking about it. In reality, I relive it every day whether I speak of it or not. My heart gets heavy, and I hate the direction this evening is going. Maybe this dating game isn't such a great idea.

She puts a marshmallow on a stick and hands it to me, and then she gets one for herself. As we both hold our marshmallows over the fire, she says, "I was married to the same man for thirty years. We divorced a few months before he drowned in a boating accident."

This is also unexpected. Do I offer my condolences on her deceased ex-husband? "I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I'm not." She doesn't make eye contact as she watches her marshmallow. "He was a jerk, and I should have left him sooner."

I have to wonder what he could have done to her for her to feel like this. I don't dare ask. She took another turn; does this mean it's my turn? Before I can say anything else, she says, "Would you mind if we didn't talk about it?"

"No, of course not."

I watch as she pulls the stick to her face and blows on the perfectly brown marshmallow. "Have I scared you away yet?" she asks.

"No, not at all. Have I scared you away?"

"Not yet," she smiles.

"It's still early in the relationship," I say, half teasing.

She says, jokingly, "Anything can still happen."

"You do know for this to work between us, that sooner or later we'll need to talk about our past."

"I know, but does it have to be today?

"No, it doesn't."

We both smile because it's the hard truth. We make a smore and I ask her if she'd like to see the inside of the house. "I'd love to."

"Wait here while I get a flashlight from the truck." Dale stands as if he's going to come with me. "Stay with Nichole." He lies back down and does what he's told.

Once I get two flashlights from the back of my truck, she follows me to the house. I offer her my hand and she takes it. "The foundation, walls, and roof are up, and I'm working on the interior. "It's hard to tell what the inside will look like when it's completed."

"Large windows on this entire wall?" she asks.

"That's right."

"It's too beautiful of a view to cover it up with a wall."

"I think so. Part of the reason I bought this property was for the privacy, flat land, and the wooded acreage."

I walk over to another part of the house. I'll put French doors here and in the master suite."

"I imagine it's beautiful here in the daytime?"

"It is. I need to bring you and Connor here during daylight so you can see it."

"We would like that."

I look back at her and smile. "Good, me, too."

Just before I take her home for the night, I secure another date for next weekend. "Is this something you'd like to do again next weekend?"

"Luke, I'd love to, but you should know now that childcare could be an issue for me."

"I'd be willing to do something with Connor as long as you're there."

I think I see her blush, which makes her all the more beautiful. "You'd be willing to go to Chuck E. Cheese and see a matinee on a Saturday afternoon with little Connor and me?"

The way she says that, I'm not sure what my answer should be, but I say, "Yes? How bad can it be?"

She laughs a throaty laugh. "Should I plan on you picking us up around 1:00 pm on Saturday, or should we meet you there?"

"No, I'll be there to pick you up."

I walk her up to her apartment and wait for her to unlock the door. She doesn't invite me in, and I wouldn't expect her to. I also don't try to kiss her, although I want to.

"Thank you, Luke. I had a great time, and I can't wait to learn more about you."

"I had a good time, too, and this will be interesting."

"Yes, it will."

"Maybe I'll run into you this week at the park." I'm hoping she'll tell me a day and a time when she'll be there.

"Maybe you will." That's not the answer I was hoping for. "Thank you and be careful driving home."

"You're welcome and I will. Walking away I say over my shoulder, "Maybe I'll be in for coffee this week."

"I hope so. Good night, Luke Tanner."

"Good night, Nichole Anderson."

I listen for her to lock up before walking the rest of the distance to my car. I open the passenger-side door and Dale jumps into the front seat. Before heading home, we drive around the neighborhood looking for the mysterious Jeep I saw earlier. When I don't see it, Dale and I head home.

Nichole

I shower before heading to bed. Learning that Luke's mother was murdered weighs heavy on my mind. I wanted to ask him about it. His past doesn't compare to mine, does it? It sounds like he's lived through some things that are unimaginable, too.

While lying in bed, I think about my own mother and father and how much I miss them. They died a few years after I was married. Brett got the call about their death. They both died in a house fire. I didn't even get to attend their funeral. Brett said they were burned beyond recognition. I was their only child and Brett kept me from going; he stopped me from paying my last respects to them. I should have left him then. I should have packed up my clothes and left when he was at work. I couldn't. He threatened to kill me if I ever left him. He always knew where I was, whom I was with, and what I was doing. He would have found me. I know it. I feared it. He said he would kill me and bury me in a hole where no one would ever find me. I believed him. I knew he would do it. Maybe I should have left so he would have followed through with his threats. It would have saved me years of torture. I would have been better off dead. Then I remember Connor and how my life is now. That statement about being better off dead doesn't stand true now. Maybe then, but not anymore. Brett's dead, and my life is in a good place. If I had died, I hate to think about what would have happened to little Connor. He would have been orphaned. But for how long? Would someone have eventually adopted him? I need that little boy more than he needs me. I can't imagine my life without him.

Instead of thinking about what a great time I had with Luke, my mind thinks about my past with Brett, and how much I miss my parents. I had such a great childhood. How could I have been such a bad judge of character? Brett even fooled my parents. I wanted a man like my father. Someone grateful for every new day, a man who cherished his wife and child, a man who freely showed his love to his family and to others. My dad always wanted to help others, he never put himself first, and he always appreciated life.

Tonight, I dream of family dinners, family vacations, and happy holidays. I also dream of yelling, fear, and painful injuries caused by a man who was supposed to love me. I dream of a boy who wanted to be like his father. A boy who unbeknownst to me was brainwashed into thinking evil was okay. Although I'm asleep, tears fill my eyes, fear takes over my mind, and my body hurts from mental and physical injuries. I want to scream out in pain, but I remain quiet. To not piss Brett off anymore than he already is, I sob silently in my dream. Even in death, I fear him.

I wake to a noise. My heart races and I try to calm my breathing. I lie still and listen. What woke me? Could it have been a dog or a cat? Is it a robber trying to break into the bakery? I reach for my cell phone and my car keys on the night stand. With shaky hands, I push the panic button on the car's ignition key. The alarm on my car blares. If someone is outside, I'm certain this will frighten him or her off. After several long seconds I hit the panic button again, shutting it off. I lie in bed with the comforter pulled to my chin. Without making a sound, I listen. Nothing. Complete silence.

I don't get up and start my day; instead, I lie in bed awake, too frightened to move. I don't watch television or read; I listen to the sounds of the night. After several long minutes, thirty to be exact, I decide the noise must have been my imagination. It must have been a part of my dream. I'm thankful when I finally dose off into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning I eagerly shower, dress, and go to pick up Connor from Rachael and Daniel's house. I've missed him and he always seems to make my days brighter. He brings light into my dark world. Connor makes my past worth living. He's my rainbow at the end of a horrific storm.

On Wednesday morning, Luke comes into the bakery for a black coffee and a raspberry Danish. I'm surprised when he doesn't get it to go, but instead takes a seat. He sits facing the counter, looking away from the door. I can't help but smile.

"That's Luke Tanner, isn't it?" Rachael asks.

"It is."

"I need to thank him for what he's done for Drew. My son might not be here today if it wasn't for Luke coming to his aid in Afghanistan."

Her words are true. Drew could have easily bled to death if Luke wasn't there. From what I understand, his leg was nearly severed.

"Take all the time you need. I have this covered."

She slowly walks up to his table and he stands to greet her. I can't hear them, but I watch as she sits down across from him. I tend to the customers and to the display cabinet. I'm not sure how he'll take to her. In the short time I've known him, I can tell he's very humble. I wipe off the few tables as the guests leave, and I refill the coffee carafe.

I watch as they both stand and embrace in a hug. When Rachael walks back to the counter, she says, "Luke would like to see you."

I dry my hands and walk over with the coffee pot to refill his mug.

"Thank you," he says with a smile.

"You're welcome."

He says, "I've been in the hospital three times, and I've been in four car accidents during my lifetime." Surprised, I look at him, and he adds, "Of which none was my fault."

His statement catches me by surprise until I remember this is his way of us getting to know each other, a little bit at a time.

"So, I guess now it's my turn?"

"It is. You need to share two things about yourself."

"Two? I thought it was one?"

He laughs. "I shared two. I'd like to learn more about you."

I have to think about what I want to share with him. "I've been rear ended once not long ago, and I've had stitches fourteen times." Before he can ask me anything else, I turn to leave.

He doesn't leave right away. He sits there, drinking his coffee and watching me. I busy myself so I don't have to look at him. I can only imagine what he's thinking about. Maybe he thinks I'm clumsy. Probably not, he's too smart for that. Maybe I should have said I like to cook, or bake, or crochet. Too late now.

He stands and walks up to the counter to say his goodbyes. "Thank you for the coffee and I'll see you and Connor Saturday."

Relief washes over me when he doesn't mention anything about my injuries that required stitches. "Okay, we're looking forward to it."

"Good, so am I." He turns his attention to Rachael and says, "It was nice meeting you."

Before either of us can say anything, he turns to leave. Rachael and I watch as he walks out of the bakery.

"You're not having any doubts about going out with him are you, Nichole?"

I look at Rachael and I know she's referring to Brett. I'm not sure why, but I've never compared Luke to Brett. I know Luke's different. "No, I'm not. I'm actually looking forward to getting to know him more."

"He's a good man," she says.

"I think he is, too."

Rachael Jamison

"I saw Luke Tanner at the bakery the other day."

Skylar and Ava stir their tea.

"Did you talk to him?" Skylar asks.

"I did. I needed to thank him for what he did for Drew and his comrades."

Ava asks, "What did he say?"

"He said it was nothing and no thanks was needed." I take a sip of my tea and say, "He's very humble. I believe he really thinks what he's done for others isn't worthy of a thank you."

Skylar says sadly, "Drew said that Luke feels responsible for what happened."

"To Drew?" I ask.

"Not just what happened to Drew, but for the deaths of the other soldiers."

"How do you know that?"

She looks at me sadly, "After the night of the veterans benefit, Drew called a few of the guys in his platoon who weren't there the night of the attack. He talked to them about Luke Tanner. They all confirmed the same story."

Luke's been in the service for a long time, and Drew's accident was only a few years ago. I thought the longer you were in the service, the less you got deployed, if you got deployed at all. I guess someone has to go over with the soldiers to guide them and give orders. Someone of a higher rank will need to lead them.

"What story is that?" Ava asks before I can get the words out.

"That Luke Tanner carries the burden of the deaths of the soldiers killed in combat."

"For the night of Drew's attack?" I ask.

"No. For all the deaths of every soldier."

"How can he feel responsible for that?"

"Drew said he was a Drill Sergeant for years. He trained these soldiers and he feels like he's failed them in their fighting and survival skills." That's ridiculous. He can't save everyone. "They also said he suffers from P.T.S.D. and because of it, he retired early from the Army."

"He's a hero if you ask me. If he wasn't there that night, Drew wouldn't be here with us today."

"I agree," Skylar says.

After a few minutes of silence, Ava asks, "You said you saw him at the bakery?"

"I did."

"Was he there to see Nichole by any chance?" Skylar asks.

I try to hide my smile behind my teacup. If Nichole wants them to know she's seeing someone, I'm sure she would have told them. "He was there having coffee," I say before taking a long sip of my warm tea.

Skylar smiles. "Rachael, you know something." She looks at Ava, who is also smiling. "Spill it." Skylar laughs.

"It's not my story to tell. If you want to know something about Nichole, you should ask her." Ava picks up her cell phone. "Who are you calling?"

"Nichole. I need to know."

"No, don't call her. Let's go over there and ask her face to face," Skylar says, standing from the table.

Ava and I also stand. "I'm heading home. Try to be subtle, this is new to her."

"We already know the answer, I just want her to say it."

Skylar Jamison

While I wait in the car for Ava, I call Luke Tanner. After I tried to fix Luke and Nichole up and I realized he was the person who was responsible for bringing my husband home alive, I searched the internet until I found Luke Tanner's phone number. I wasn't sure at the time why, but I felt the need to have it. Now I'm glad I do.

"Tanner here, state your business."

I'm startled by the tone he uses to answer his phone. I decide to play along. He might be a big deal in the military, but to me, he's just a great catch for my friend Nichole. Nothing intimidating about that. "Skylar Jamison here. My business is I'd like to see you."

He laughs. I think he might be remembering my first encounter with him, the time when I tried to fix him up with Nichole; he wanted nothing to do with it.

"Skylar, how are you?" he asks in a softer, friendlier tone.

"I'm good, how are you?"

"Couldn't be better. What is it you want to see me about?"

"I hear you might be seeing a friend of mine."

"You heard that, did you?"

"I did. I know you said at one time that you don't date much, and I don't want you screwing this up." He laughs and it makes me giggle.

"You think you have some advice to help me?"

I hear a power tool in the background. When it stops, I say, "I do."

"Here's my address, I'm anxious to see what you got."

I write down his address and say, "Be there in a few."

Ava gets into the car, and I tell her the change of plans about us seeing Luke.

"I feel like I'm deceiving Nichole."

"Try not to look at it that way." I turn onto Magnolia Street and drive past the bakery.

"What other way is there?"

"Try to see the bigger picture. We're helping them so Luke won't screw it up. One day they'll get married and have lots and lots of children, and live happily ever after."

Ava bursts out laughing. "Lots and lots of children at their age?"

"Well, stranger things have happened."

"Yeah, like proof of the existence of Bigfoot and the Loch Ness monster." When I get to the end of the road, I cautiously turn into the large field. I see a truck, but I don't see Luke. "I don't think this is the right place."

"These are the directions he gave. Hard to mess up directions that say, 'At the end of the road, turn left.'"

"I think it's odd that he lives at the end of the road that Nichole's bakery's on."

"It must be fate."

We park the car and start to get out until we hear a dog bark. After a few seconds, Luke comes out wearing jeans and a plaid shirt. "Dale, hush it."

I look over at Ava and we both mouth, "Dale?"

We get out of the car and Luke walks over to us. "Don't mind him, he won't hurt you."

Luke stops and Dale stands by his side. I want to say something about the dog's name, but I don't. Dale? That's an odd choice of a name. Oh, I get it. Airedale. Just like the movie Air Bud, which of course is about an Airedale.

Ava walks over and hugs Luke. "It's good seeing you, again."

I hug Luke next. "So, we hear you're seeing Nichole."

"She said that?" he asks, watching me.

"No, we haven't seen or talked to her in a few days."

"So, you've spoken to Rachael."

"So, it's true," I say with a smile.

"Please excuse my friend," Ava says, "She knows no boundaries."

"Don't forget about the filter," Skylar says proudly.

"She's also missing a filter. She'll say almost anything."

We all laugh.

"I don't have a chair to offer you, but I can offer you some shade and a bottle of water."

"We'll take it," Ava says, wiping the sweat from her brow.

We follow Luke over to his truck where he gets three bottles of water from a cooler. The truck's parked under a huge oak tree. We talk a few minutes about the land and property.

"So, what really brings you out here today?" he asks, looking away from Ava and looking at me.

I decide to get to the point. It looks like he's busy and I don't have all day. "I've known Nichole for a long time. She's not your typical girl." I pause and he doesn't look away. "She's been through a lot and she deserves someone kind, patient, and understanding."

"I'm listening."

Ava says, "We just want you to understand she's different. She isn't like other women you've probably dated."

"I can see that. That's what I like about her." I look into his eyes and I can see he's sincere. "Is there something I need to know, or need to be aware of other than she's raising her grandson?"

I look over at Ava for this one. She knows more about Nichole than I do. "She isn't broken, but she is fragile."

He nods his understanding. "She's a hard person to get to know."

Ava frowns. "Just give her some time and she'll open up to you. She's been through a lot in her life."

"I have nothing but time."

I ask, "When are you seeing her again?"

"Saturday."

I'm impressed. "That's definitely a date night."

"I'm picking her up at 1:00."

"Why?" I ask, a little disappointed. "What can you do on a Saturday afternoon?"

"We're having lunch at Chuck E. Cheese, and then seeing a matinee with Connor."

Suddenly, I'm not disappointed in him any longer. I knew I liked him. He's planning a date that accommodates her small grandson. That's a win.

Ava smiles and says, "We'll keep Connor, and you plan something else to do with her on Saturday."

"That's a good idea and you should look on the Internet to see what's going on around town Saturday afternoon. But don't take her to other places you've taken others."

"Ava's not a bar-and-club type of person."

Luke looks at me; he doesn't seem surprised. "Anything else I need to know?"

"Yeah, there's one more thing. If you get in a pinch and you're not sure what to do, call me."

I can see the amusement in his eyes.

"And when you take her out again, call us to babysit."

Nichole

On Saturday, I usually run the bakery by myself. It's a day for little Connor and me to hang out together. But today, Rachael showed up at 10:00 to help me. It's slower than normal for a Saturday. I guess the warm temperatures have our customers out doing other things. We do some light baking and decide to close the bakery a little earlier than usual. I'm surprised when Skylar and Ava show up to get Connor for the day. I never told Connor that we had plans with Luke today. I thought I would surprise him when he showed up at 1:00. Of course little Connor is excited to go with Skylar and Ava. When everyone leaves at 11:30, I decide to text Luke and tell him our plans have changed a bit.

Nichole: Connor is spending the day with Ava and Skylar.

Luke: I guess Chuck E. Cheese is out.

I want to laugh.

Nichole: Not unless you like that sort of thing.

Luke: I think I can live without it. I guess I need to come up with something else.

Nichole: We can cancel it if you want. I know this is short notice.

Luke: Are you interested in hanging out at Tybee Island this afternoon? They're having a sweet tea festival this weekend.

Should I tell him I don't like sweet tea? No, I'll keep that to myself.

Nichole: Sure, sounds like fun.

Luke: Great, I'll see you at 1:00.

Nichole: See you soon.

Luke: Oh, there's one more thing. Do you like motorcycles?

To look at? To ride?

Nichole: I guess so.

Luke: Good, I'll bring you a helmet.

I look down at my sundress and decide jeans and a tee-shirt would be a better choice. I don't have riding boots, but I do have boots that will work better than tennis shoes or sandals. I'm a little excited just thinking about riding on a motorcycle. I have to admit this is a first for me. I lay a jacket over the arm of the sofa and wait for Luke.

When I hear a bike pull up outside, I open the door and watch as Luke backs into a parking spot. When he sees me, he smiles and waves. Walking out further onto the balcony of the apartment, I watch as he removes his helmet.

"Let me get my jacket and I'll be right down."

"Take your time."

I dart into the house and shove some money and my driver's license into my cell phone case and shove it into the pocket of my jacket. Since being married to Brett, I always have this need to have my own money and some form of I.D. I guess fear will always be a part of who I am. A need to be able to take care of myself in any situation, or at least to get myself to safety.

After locking up, I meet Luke in the parking lot.

"Sorry I'm late," he says apologetically.

"Don't be. You're fine. If you are late, I didn't notice," I say because it's the truth. I look at my watch and it's just past 1:00.

"Wow! You look beautiful, by the way."

If he was late, this is enough for me to forgive him. "Thank you."

"Here, let's try this on. I want to make sure it fits before we leave."

I expect him to hand me the helmet, but he doesn't. I stand there as he gently slips it on over my head. I think this is the closest I've ever been to him. I get a whiff of his cologne as the wind blows. He brushes the loose strands of hair from my face before fastening the helmet. After he moves it side to side, he says, "Perfect fit."

"I thought we could take the scenic route to the beach. Is that okay with you?"

"Sure, that sounds great." And it does.

"Have you ever been on a bike before?" I shake my head. "The only two things you need to know are to hang on, and lean with me, not against me."

"Got it."

"Good." Just before we pull out of the driveway, he leans back and says, "I love motorcycles."

I forgot all about his game. I wasn't even thinking about what I would expose to him today. Today, he's making it easy. "I love baking."

"I figured as much." Just before we pull out onto the road, he adds, "Hold on, I don't want you falling off."

Reluctantly, I wrap both arms around him and it feels awkward. I haven't been this close to anyone in a long time. He's not Brett and I thank God for that. But it does feel strange being this close to a man.

I soon realize that while on a motorcycle, conversation is nearly non-existent. It's hard to talk over a roaring engine. When he sees something he wants me to see, he taps me on my leg and points in the direction he's looking at.

He's very cautious and alert. Savannah's beautiful and seeing it from a motorcycle is exciting. With the wind blowing on my face, I feel free. This is one date I'll never forget. We park near Tybee Island and Luke secures our jackets and helmets in the saddle bags before we take off walking around the area. Looking down at me he asks, "Shall we?"

He offers me his hand and I take it. We have lunch and a sweet tea under a shade tree. We talk about the bakery, his new house, and little Connor. Nothing is brought up about our past, although I know its coming. It won't be long before he reveals some small thing about himself. I decide to surprise him and go first.

"I've always wanted to take photography classes."

He looks pleased that I've revealed something without being prompted.

"My turn?" he asks.

"Those are the rules you made."

Smiling he says, "Let me think." He pauses as if he's searching his brain. "I like to sketch in my spare time."

"I can't draw a stick figure," I admit.

"It's not that hard to draw."

"Do you have any of your work framed?"

"I have a few pieces that my mother had framed years ago."

I remember him telling me his mom was murdered. I decide to change the subject. "I can't draw, but I used to have a passion for refinishing and repainting old wooden furniture."

"Do you have pieces in your home that you've restored?"

"I don't. When I moved from Lake City, I started new; I left everything that reminded me of my past there." I'm not sure why I decided to divulge that information to him. He doesn't say anything else about Lake City or my past.

"I could teach you some techniques on photography. Maybe next weekend we could take Connor out and take some photographs."

"I'd love to, but I don't have a camera."

"You can use mine. You'll catch on in no time."

"Thank you."

"Ready to walk around and browse some of the craft tables?"

"Sure, I'd love to."

We walk past some of the booths and see the different talents of the locals. We make small talk and it's comfortable. He offers to buy me small trinkets, but I refuse. The woman says that in the Caribbean it's known for its healing powers. I don't ask and he doesn't say who he's buying it for.

"Drew and Skylar have a bar down here. Do you want to stop and have a drink?" I ask once he's made his purchase. When I see uncertainty in his eyes, I remember how Luke and Drew know each other. I'm sure the last thing Luke wants is to be reminded of his military past. Not that he can ever forget it. It would be more difficult with it staring at you in the face every day. That's why I'm glad when I left, I was able to leave my past and everything reminding me of it in Lake City. Well, the memories and physical scars are still with me. "You know what, we don't have to."

"No, it's okay. I've heard a lot of great things about their business. I've just never made it down this way to see it."

Still holding hands, we walk in the direction of the beach. As we near the bar, I see a blonde standing near the water's edge watching us. I see her clearly, but before I can say anything, she disappears into the crowd.

"What is it?" Luke asks.

I stare out into the crowd looking for Lorraine. I want to say something, but nothing comes out. My legs suddenly feel like Jell-O. It can't be Lorraine. She's dead.
Chapter Four: Back from the Dead

Nichole

I know Luke's talking, but I have no idea what he's saying. His words are muffled, and I'm focused on finding Lorraine in the crowd. I stand on my tiptoes, but I can't see over the crowd of people.

"Nichole, what is it?" I feel someone touch my arm and it forces me to look. "What is it? Talk to me."

Blinking a few times, I stutter, "I... I... I just saw Connor's birth mom."

"Are you sure?" he asks, still making eye contact.

"I'm positive." I thought she was dead. The news reported she died of a drug overdose. How can this be? My attorney, Chase, Ava's husband, confirmed she was dead. I have a copy of her death certificate at home. I know what I saw. I know without a doubt that was her, but how? Then it hits me why she's here. "Oh, my God! She's here for Connor," I cry. "I have to go. I can't let her have him."

"Okay, calm down. I'll get you there. Let's talk to Drew, and then we'll call Skylar and Ava so they know to keep a close eye on him."

"I can't let her have him. I can't give him up." We walk slowly as I continue to scan the crowd.

"You won't have to. Is Chase still your attorney?"

"Oh, God. You don't think I'll need one, do you?"

"I don't. But I think he needs to know what's going on."

The outside bar is small and crowded. I try to look past the crowd for Drew, but it's useless; I can't see anything. We stop in the middle of the crowd, and Luke asks, "Do you have your cell phone?" I dig into my pocket and hand it to him. "I'm going to call Drew and see if he's even here today, and if he is, maybe he can meet us somewhere." I nod, still searching the crowd for Lorraine. "Do you have his number in your contacts?"

"I do, Both Ava's and Skylar's are in there, too."

Luke

I call Drew and tell him we need to see him. Next, I call Skylar and her phone goes to voicemail. Then, I call Ava and she answers quickly: "How's your date going?"

"Ava, it's Luke."

Her tone changes. "What's wrong?"

"Is Connor there with you?"

"Yes, he's playing with the twins. Why? What's happened?"

I don't want to panic her, but I'm not sure what to say. I'll need to tell her the truth. "Nichole and I are at Tybee Island, and Nichole said she saw Connor's birth mom."

"Wait? What? That's impossible. She's dead."

I don't know what to say. If Nichole says she saw her, I believe her. "Is Chase right there beside you?"

"He is."

"Tell him what I told you, lock the doors, and keep a close eye on Connor until we get there."

"Where's Nichole?"

"She's right here. We're going to see Drew and then we're leaving."

"Luke?"

"Yeah, Ava."

"Watch Nichole and keep her safe. If Lorraine's alive, she could be dangerous. It's hard to tell what she'll want."

"I will. We'll be there soon."

It makes me wonder if the black Jeep I saw in the parking lot isn't the Jeep I saw driving around the bakery, and if the Jeep isn't owned by Lorraine. I wish I had paid more attention and got the license plate number. I keep Nichole's phone in my pocket. We make it to the back of the bar where Drew instructed us to go. An older man is there waiting for us. He nods to me and then looks at Nichole and asks, "Nichole, what's going on?"

"Hi, Daniel. Lorraine's here. I saw her with my own eyes."

"Are you sure it was her?" he asks.

She looks away from the crowd and focuses her attention on the man. "I know it sounds crazy, but Connor's in danger. I need to get to him."

"Stay here. Let me relieve my son. Drew will be right here."

When Drew walks out, he has two bottles of water. "Mom's coming to help Dad, so I can go to the inn with you guys." He doesn't ask Nichole what happened, and he doesn't ask her if she's sure it was really Lorraine she saw. I'm grateful for that. She doesn't need people thinking she's seeing things or that she might be going crazy.

"I have my motorcycle," I say. "Drew, can you take Nichole with you and I'll follow behind?" She looks up at me and I don't want her to think I'm ditching her. "You'll be safer in his car," I say to Nichole.

"Yeah, sure," she says. "That's no problem."

When we pull up at the inn, Nichole waits for me before she walks inside. She takes my hand and interlocks our fingers. I don't know if she does it out of fear, or if she even realizes she's doing it. It feels good to be this close to her. We get inside and everyone looks concerned. They rush up and hug Nichole before she can introduce me to Chase.

After the introductions are made, Chase hands me a beer and Nichole a glass of wine. Nichole runs up and visits with Connor before she fills everyone in on what she saw. I barely know Nichole, and I know almost nothing about her background.

I stand at the bar in the kitchen and when Nichole enters the room, everyone takes a seat. I continue to stand. I feel in a better position in case something happens.

I feel like an intruder. I hear bits and pieces of her previous life, and it's like putting together a jigsaw puzzle. Now I understand why she's so private and reserved. "You can't stay at the bakery. She has probably been stalking you," Ava says.

"We can't stay here. She'll suspect that for sure."

I decide to speak up. "You and Connor can stay at the house with me. There's a chance she doesn't know me or where I live." To make things clear, I add, "I have two bedrooms that you both can have and I'll take the sleep sofa."

Nichole stands and says, "Luke, no. I can't put you out."

"I wouldn't offer if I didn't want you there."

"I think it's a great idea," Skylar says. "We'll need that address before you leave."

When it's decided that Nichole and Connor will stay with me, I go home and get the house ready, while Chase takes Connor and Nichole to the bakery to get a few things.

I quickly load the dishwasher, change the sheets on my bed, and vacuum. I'm not a slob, but I did want everything looking and smelling fresh for when they get here.

Later that night when Connor's in bed, Nichole and I sit up and talk. Dale guards the outside of Connor's bedroom. He lies on the floor and sleeps, awakening to the slightest noise.

"This isn't how I thought the day would end," she says.

"I'm glad you decided to stay."

"I know you were able to piece together some things at Ava and Chase's house, but there's some things you need to know about me. Things that might change the way you feel about me."

I soften the look on my face. "I'm not worried that whatever you have to tell me will change my mind in the slightest."

"I was married for many years to a man who beat me."

I give her my undivided attention, making sure not to interrupt.

"I stayed with him because I thought it was best for my son. I feared that if I were a single mom I wouldn't be able to give him the life I wanted for him. Little did I know that my one and only son was learning his father's bad habits." She sniffles but continues. "As time went on, my son Connor started physically abusing me, too."

My jaw twitches with rage and I try to control it.

"I tried to leave. The first time I threatened to leave, Brett threatened to kill my parents. Then as the years passed and my parents passed away, Brett would threaten to kill our son." Tears stream down her face. "I believed him. I knew he would do it. He cared for no one but himself."

I want to comfort her, but I think she needs to say this. I put my hand to my face to hide the twitching in my jaw.

"The beatings throughout the years got worse. The injuries took longer to heal, and the things that would anger him were minor. He'd go into a rage over such things as lint on his suit jacket."

I fist my hands.

"Connor met Ava, and he started abusing her soon after their marriage."

I want to stomp and beat the shit out of the walls, doors, and the cabinets. I want to hold her and tell her it'll be okay. But she hasn't finished telling me her story. How does Lorraine come into play? I need to know. I lean against the kitchen counter, while she remains seated at the kitchen table.

"It wasn't until after Connor's death and after Ava came out of her coma that we both learned about little Connor."

I had no idea Ava was battered.

"Lorraine showed up at Ava's house when Connor was a baby, demanding a portion of Connor's life insurance." She sniffles and wipes away her tears. "Newspaper reports claimed that Lorraine died of a drug overdose shortly afterward. There were rumors that my husband and my son could have both fathered her child."

"And D.N.A. revealed he belonged to your son?"

"That's right."

"And now, here she is."

Her lip quivers. "Yes. My fear is she will want him back."

"Do you know why she would fake her own death?" Still standing at the counter, I watch the sadness on her face.

"She left a suicide note saying my husband was abusing her and it was too much for her to handle."

"And neither you nor Ava ever knew of her until a couple years ago?"

"Lorraine was Connor's paralegal at the law firm where he worked. It's the same law firm where Chase worked. I wasn't allowed to leave the house unless Brett was with me. And during this time, Ava suffered from amnesia caused by the accident that killed Connor. She didn't have any idea of an affair between the two."

I want to ask her about the accident that killed Connor and left Ava in a coma and later with amnesia, but I don't. That isn't important right now. "You have full custody of Connor, right?"

"I do. I later adopted him and then I changed both our last names from Emerson to my maiden name, Anderson."

"The bakery's closed tomorrow and Monday, right?"

"It is."

"Let's hang out here for the next couple days, and hopefully Chase can find something out."

"You don't want us to leave?" she asks sadly.

I walk over to the table and offer her my hand. She stands and I open my arms for her. Once I hold her tightly, I say, "No, not at all. I want to learn more about you. I want to learn your likes and your dislikes. Everything they did to you is not your fault. I don't blame you for that and you shouldn't blame yourself either."

"Thank you, Luke."

I shouldn't, but when she rests her head on my chest, I kiss the top of her head. She smells so good and she fits perfectly into my arms. I wish there was something for me to say to put her at ease. My mind races with what she was telling me of her life and the abuse she endured. Anger builds in my body like a fire out of control. I can tell she isn't broken now, but I'm sure that during most of her life, she was nothing but a shell. I need to go slow; I need to let her know I'm not either of those men. My actions will have to speak for me.

She releases our embrace and wipes away the tears. "I'm heading to bed but I want you to know how grateful I am for your kindness."

She's grateful for my kindness? I don't know what to say about that so I say nothing. "I hope you sleep well, Nichole."

She leans up and kisses me on my cheek. "Good night, Luke."

"Good night, Nichole."

Although I'm surprised when she goes to bed in little Connor's room, I shouldn't be. She probably feels like she's the only one who can and will protect him. I decide to sit up and have another beer. Sitting at my computer, I decide to do a search for "Brett, Ava, and Connor Emerson."

The accident that caused Connor's death was intentional. There's very little mention of Ava other than she was in a coma and when she awoke she had amnesia. The photos of the wreckage are horrific. I'm not sure how anyone could have survived that.

I find a few articles about Brett next. I read the most recent articles first. I read about his death being ruled as an accidental drowning, the restraining order and charges that were filed prior to that from Ava and Chase, and the miscarriage he caused to Ava's unborn child after he beat her outside of the inn. I close my laptop. I've read enough. I've seen domestic violence first hand. My mother didn't survive her injuries, but Nichole did. How does a person live through that? And then to raise a grandchild that her husband could have fathered? Death? It almost doesn't seem fitting for that bastard to just die. Maybe he suffered before his death? If he did, he didn't suffer enough. He didn't hurt enough, not after what he's done to others. It's hard for me to imagine the degree of the injuries the duo caused to Nichole. I didn't see any physical scars on her. Maybe the abuse wasn't as bad as I'm imagining. But she did say she had stitches fourteen times. It's hard for me to admit that the abuse is probably worse than I could ever imagine.

I pace the floor as my mind races with my own demons. The time I've spent in active war. The lives I've wanted to save and couldn't. The men I've killed in order to not be killed. Life is not perfect and today was just another reminder. I'll make it my mission to protect little Connor and Nichole from the people who could hurt them. They deserve to live a life free of fear and pain. Thank God that little Connor is too young to know or remember anything.

When the beer isn't strong enough, I open the bottle of Jack Daniels.

I walk through the house, double checking the locks on the doors and the windows. When Dale hears me, he stands from the doorway of Connor's bedroom. "Stay here, boy." He sits down and obeys me. "Good boy." I walk outside, closing the door behind me.

I call my sister, Angie, to check on her, before calling Chase. I won't be sleeping tonight, and I doubt Chase will be either.

"Chase here," he says in a near whisper.

"It's Luke Tanner."

"Give me one minute." I wait as I hear shuffling through the phone. "Sorry, I didn't want to wake Ava."

"Were you sleeping?"

"Are you kidding? No, I'm working."

"I figured as much."

"Can't sleep either?"

"No, I got a preview of Nichole's life. It was a living hell, to put it nicely."

"I'm surprised anyone made it out alive."

I down another shot and walk off of the porch towards my truck. I don't want Nichole to hear. "Look, I need to know, is there anyway that Lorraine could be alive?"

"She was pronounced dead at the hospital and there is a death certificate."

"I believe Nichole when she says she saw her today at the beach."

"Oh, I do, too. How much of Nichole's past do you know?"

"Not much. I know her son and husband were some sick bastards."

I can hear more shuffling on his end of the phone. "Ava just told me tonight that Connor had a doctor on call to treat her injuries."

Running my hands through my hair, I say, "God, you can't be serious."

"And a dentist."

They were some twisted sons of bitches. "Let me guess, the doctor was the one who pronounced Lorraine dead at the hospital?"

"I didn't reveal this to Ava or Skylar, but yes. Only you and Drew know this."

My mind runs with reasoning. "Why would he do that? What does a doctor have to gain from doing that?"

"Your guess is as good as any. I'm in the process of locating him now."

"Do you think he'll admit to any wrong doing?"

"I think it'll be hard to deny it."

"If you need help, let me know. I have some contacts from the military that might be of service."

"Military intelligence. Can't go wrong with that. I'll keep you posted." He pauses before asking, "How are Connor and Nichole?"

"They're sleeping. She's very protective of him. I think she's scared, but she guards her feelings well. She wears this mask... it's hard to explain."

"I'm married to her ex-daughter-in-law. Ava's the same way. Stick with her. She's amazing and she's been through so much."

I have no plans of letting her go. "Thanks."

As soon as I hang up the phone, I get a call from an unknown number. "Tanner here, state your business."

"My business is Nichole and little Connor. How are they?"

Her voice always brings a smile to my face, even in the dark moments. I look at my watch and it's after 3:00 am. I doubt anyone is sleeping tonight. "They're both in bed, Skylar."

"She might be in bed, but she's not sleeping."

I know she's right. "Hopefully, she's able to rest."

"I hope so."

"Can't sleep?"

"No. I wanted to tell you I'm proud of you for what you did today."

What I did today? "I'm not following."

"You didn't run out on them. You stepped up to help them and I appreciate that."

"It never crossed my mind to leave either of them," I admit.

"She's amazing, right?"

I see a light come on in the bathroom. "Yeah, she's pretty incredible. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, you can ask me anything."

"How bad was it for her and Ava?" I'm not sure why I want to know. I'm not even sure I want to know.

There's a pause before she answers. "I don't know everything, but I do know this."

"I'm listening." I can feel the veins bulging from my neck.

"I had to know, too. I kept bugging Ava to tell me. I was strong, I knew I could handle it." She pauses. "I don't even know if I should be telling you this."

"I need to know how bad it was."

"All I know is that as a form of punishment, Ava and Nichole were forced to care for the other person's injuries." My stomach coils at the twisted thought. Like what? Broken bones? Stitches? Dressing changes? "Not just injuries, their most severe injuries." Closing my eyes, I try to imagine the torture they lived. Nothing I'm imagining can touch their nightmare. "Luke, there's one more thing you should know."

"I'm here."

"Ava threw up after telling me. She couldn't finish her story, so I stopped asking. Their torture is beyond anything you and I could ever imagine."

Nichole

I can't sleep. I toss and turn as I try to figure out how Lorraine can still be alive. What does she want? My fear is she wants Connor. I can't let him go. I won't let him go. He lies in bed beside me, sleeping peacefully. I twirl his curly hair between my fingers.

I thought when I left Lake City that I had left my demons behind me, but Brett followed me here and now his mistress is here. Little Connor's mine. He'll always be mine. I may not have birthed him, but I love him as my own.

Lying in bed awake, I'm not sure what to do. This is Luke's house and I can't stay here. We've gone out only a few times. We're not even in a relationship. Tomorrow's Sunday and it's usually a day when I do my baking. It's my and Connor's day to spend with just the two of us. I have a business I need to run, and I need to be able to produce fresh baked goods, if I want it to continue to be successful.

Connor and I need to return to the bakery. There's no other way around it. When we're not opened, I'll keep the doors locked and keep him in the house with me. I'll also need to withdraw him from preschool. I need to keep him close so I can keep a close eye on him. I've lived like a prisoner before, I can do it again. But is it fair to him? If it keeps him safe, it is.

A light shines into the dark room from beneath the bedroom door. Not sure if Luke's still up or if he left a light on for Connor and me, I quietly climb out of the bed in order not to disturb Connor. I step over Dale, who raises up when he hears me. If I didn't know better, I would think he's guarding over Connor. Can dogs sense danger and fear? I pet him to show my appreciation, and he lies back down in the doorway. Making my way into the bathroom down the hall, I look into the mirror. I hate the frightened girl staring back at me. My past floods me, reminding me that I've failed myself and I've failed my adult son, Connor. I'm glad Brett's dead. My son grew into a monster like his father. I'm sad my son's gone, but he's in a better place. Maybe he's been forgiven for his sins and he flies high with the angels. After what he did to Ava, he also deserved death. It's hard to admit that, because he's still my son and I love him and miss him. I don't love the man he turned into, but I love the baby and the young boy he once was.

I wash my face before walking out into the kitchen. I feel like an intruder in someone else's home. I hate not being in my own space. In the morning I'll thank Luke, and Connor and I will return home. It'll be best for the both of us. I don't want to live in fear, and I don't want little Connor to know fear. This will also be best for Luke.

I get a glass and fill it with cold water. Luke isn't here; he must be in bed. Sitting at the table, I try to figure out what I'll say to him. I'm sure it'll be a relief for him when Connor and I leave. He'll thank me one day when he realizes the mess that's been my life. He'll be thankful that this relationship didn't go any further.

I'm sitting at the table when Luke walks into the kitchen. He smiles when he sees me. Closing the outside door behind him, he asks, "Can't sleep?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing."

"No, this isn't unusual for me. Insomniac here."

"Me, too."

I watch as he pulls up a chair across from me. "Are you hungry?"

Am I hungry? "Yeah, I guess I am."

"Are you in the mood for pancakes?" Before I can answer, he stands from the chair and says, "I make the best blueberry pancakes you've ever tasted."

"Sounds great." My mind drifts back to my childhood. On Sunday, my Dad always made pancakes and sausage. He said it was his only day of the week to pamper his favorite girls; girls being Mom and myself. I stand from the table. "What can I do to help?"

"Nothing. Sit there and watch and learn."

I giggle. "Watch and learn?" It's the first time I laughed since I saw Lorraine earlier. "You do realize I'm a pastry chef, right?"

He looks up over the refrigerator door and laughs. "Oh yeah, I forgot. Take a load off and enjoy being catered to."

Being catered to? Have I ever been catered to? Not since I was a child living in my parents' home.

"Coffee?" he asks.

"Sure." I watch in delight as he maneuvers gracefully around the kitchen, being extra careful to not wake Connor. "Can I help you with the coffee?"

"No, you're company. Just sit there and look pretty."

I look down at my black yoga pants and my white long-sleeved tee-shirt to hide my blushing red cheeks. Pretty? Did he just call me pretty? Brett called me many things, but pretty wasn't one of them. I do what Luke says and remain seated, too embarrassed by his compliment to say anything else.

Once he serves the pancakes, bacon, and coffee, we eat. He's right. These are mouth-watering and they are the best I've ever had.

"Good, right?" he asks while I'm still chewing my food.

I hold up a finger, indicating to wait for my reply. He laughs and takes a large bite of his own food.

"These are delicious. How did you learn to make these?"

"My mother. She was an amazing cook. She thought I was going to be single for the rest of my life. When she was alive, she used to teach me to cook. My father and my sister, Angie, are also great cooks."

"I'm sorry about your mother." It's off topic, but every time I hear about a death, it makes me sad, and I feel the need to voice my sympathies.

"Thank you. But anyhow, that's where my culinary skills came from."

"These are delicious. What else can you cook?" I ask, trying to change the subject.

"Don't you mean what can't I cook?"

"It isn't just breakfast food?" I ask, shoveling a bite into my mouth.

He laughs. "No, I think the only thing I can't make is anything I need to use a rolling pin for."

"Well, lucky for you, that is my specialty."

"Lucky for me, indeed." There's that blush again. "Tomorrow, I'll make us Western omelets for breakfast."

I was going to wait to tell him, but I think now is the right time. "About that. I thought Connor and I should return home tomorrow." I look at the clock on the wall; it's after 4:00 a.m. "I mean head home today."

He sets his fork down on his plate and takes a drink of his coffee. He watches me over his coffee mug, never saying a word. He lowers his mug and interlocks his fingers. His posture is perfectly straight.

"I'd like for you both to stay here. At least until Monday evening."

"Thank you. I appreciate that. But I need to get some baking done today or tomorrow. Sundays are a baking day for Connor and me. We both look forward to it, and I really hate to get him out of his routine."

"I understand. What if you bake in the daytime and return here in the evening?"

"Why? What difference will it make?"

"It'll give me peace of mind knowing you both are safe."

"Luke..."

He interrupts. "Please. Let me do this. Just until Monday. If you still want to leave on Monday, I won't argue with you."

I'm frightened, but I can't admit that to Luke. Connor depends on me to provide for him, to give him security, and to keep him safe. I've worked hard to give him a routine and a good life. I'm afraid that Lorraine can destroy that life. I'm scared that she'll come in and take him away from me. But I also can't run and hide. I can't always be a prisoner in my own home, in my own body. I need freedom, Connor needs his freedom.

"Okay, but I need to go over there today and work. I need to keep Connor on some kind of routine."

"I understand. Thank you."

"Thank you and these are delicious," I say, taking the last bite.

"I know."

We both laugh.

The next morning, Connor and I dress and leave to go to the bakery. Luke is outside dressed in his work clothes. A trailer is hooked up to his truck hitch; on the trailer are a riding lawn mower, a power washer, and some other pieces of equipment I have no idea what they are.

"Are you working today, too?" I ask.

"I thought I would. I'll take you and Connor home since it's on my way."

"Sure, that would be great. Thank you."

Connor throws a ball and tells Dale, "Catch it." Dale does. I want to correct him and tell him it's called 'Fetch it," but I don't. I've corrected him plenty of times in the past.

I remove the car seat from my car and put it in the back seat of the truck. Dale climbs into the bed of the truck while Luke stands behind waiting for me. When Connor's secured in his seat, Luke opens the passenger side door for me. He's so polite and always a gentleman.

"Thank you."

"My pleasure."

I buckle up as I watch him walk around the truck. I look around the street and it's quiet. No traffic, no noisy neighbors. It's just a leisurely Sunday morning.

The drive there is a quiet one. I have more anxiety than I thought I would. Searching the streets and the people for a blonde-haired woman, I try to calm my nerves with some useless breathing techniques. Have I really thought this over? What will I do if I see Lorraine? How will I handle it if Connor's there with me? Will he remember her? Does he miss her? What if she tries to take him away from me?

"Are you all right?"

I look over at Luke and try to smile. "I'm fine."

He reaches over and holds my hand. "I'm here."

Should I feel so much comfort from a man I barely know? No, but I do.

When we pull up at the bakery, Rachael's car is parked in the driveway. I let out a puff of air. "I forgot to call her yesterday."

"I think Drew was going to call her for you."

I search my purse for my cell phone. "Where's my cell phone?" I try to remember the last time I used it.

"I used it to call Chase yesterday when we were at Tybee Island."

"I didn't get it back from you?"

He reaches into his glove compartment and hands it to me. "I didn't want to forget to give it to you."

"Thank you. I feel bad I didn't call my best friend."

"After all that happened, I think she'll understand."

I try to turn my phone on and it's dead. I make a mental note to charge it when we get into the bakery.

"What happened yesterday?" Connor asks.

Luke looks over at me.

"We spent the night at Luke's house." It's not a total lie.

"Oh, yeah. Can we do that again? It was fun." Just before I answer Connor, Rachael and Daniel walk out of the bakery. "Aunt Rachael and Uncle Daniel. Yay!" he squeals.

Luke parks, and Rachael and Daniel walk up to the truck. Luke steps out of the truck and shakes Daniel's hand.

Rachael opens my door and hugs me as soon as I step out. "I've been so worried about you."

"I know. I meant to call."

Speaking softly so Connor can't hear, she says, "Is it true that you saw Lorraine?"

"I'm afraid so."

I open the door to get Connor out of his car seat. "Hey, Connor. I missed you," Rachael says over my shoulder.

She hugs him as soon as he gets out of the truck. Luke and Daniel walk around the vehicle and I can see the concern in Daniel's eyes.

"I'm fine," I mouth.

He nods before he focuses his attention on Connor. Connor hugs him next.

"What are you guys doing here?" I ask.

"We came over to help out with the baking," Daniel says.

"I'm sorry I didn't call."

"What are you sorry for? You had a lot going on."

I introduce Daniel to Luke although I think they've already met. When Luke leaves, I bathe Connor before I shower. Like every other Sunday, Connor and I gather in the bakery for breakfast and a day of fun-filled baking. Daniel and Rachael are still here. I remember that Luke said he can't make anything that you need to use a rolling pin for. I decide today I'll be baking pies among other rolled-out pastries.

"I thought he said he was working today?" Rachael asks, looking out the window.

Tying my apron, I walk over to the window to see who she's talking about. Luke is outside, edging the sidewalk and the parking lot. "He did. He didn't say he was working here. I had assumed he was working on his new house."

"I'll keep Connor inside while you go out and talk to him."

"Thank you."

Luke

I continue to work although I can see that Nichole is walking toward me. I was hoping to go unnoticed, at least until I was done.

"What are you doing?" she asks, looking up and down the street.

"Working," I reply, shutting off the lawn edger. I look her up and down and smile when I see what she's wearing. "Cute apron, by the way." I reach up and lightly touch the ruffles near her shoulders.

"I thought you were working at the house today?"

"Did I say that?"

"You did."

"I am working at a house."

"Are you about done?"

"Why?" Is she kicking me out?

"I was going to invite you in for pie in about forty-five minutes, after I make it."

"You're making pie?" I wipe the sweat from my brow. Is she doing this because I said I can't use a rolling pin?

"I was thinking about it."

"I have some things I want to finish up, and then I would love to come in." I look down at my clothes and say, "I may need a shower first."

"You're fine just the way you are. What kind of pie do you want?"

"Whatever you make, I'll eat it."

She turns to leave and says, "This was your plan all along, wasn't it?"

I can't lie to her. "It was." I'd do anything for pie. No. I make jokes. My plan was to stay here all day and work, not get pie.

"Thank you, Luke. You're very kind to Connor and me, and we're both thankful for everything you've done for us." Her eyes are full of gratitude.

Touching her arm softly, I say, "Whatever I can do to help you, it's my pleasure. I want to help you. I want to be here for you."

"Why?"

Why? Because I care for her. Because I care for little Connor. "Because you deserve to have someone to care for you and look after you. I want to be that person. I want to keep you safe."

She looks embarrassed. "I've never had this before. It's been a long time since anyone wanted to protect me. I'm not sure what to say."

I carefully and slowly lower my hand to hold hers. "Either say yes or say nothing. I want to be here for you... for you both."

She leans up and kisses me on my cheek and whispers "thank you" in my ear. I wanted more than a peck on my cheek, but I'll take whatever she gives me. I want to be more than just her bodyguard, and I know after everything she's been through, it'll take some time. She'll need to trust that I won't hurt her. Knowing she's worth it, I'll take all the time she needs.

"I'll be in shortly," I say.

I watch as she walks back into the bakery. Before getting back to work, I decide to call Chase. "Chase, it's Luke. Have you heard anything about Lorraine or the doctor who pronounced her dead?"

"I have a lead. Let me call you back in a few."

"A lead on Lorraine or the doctor?"

"The doctor."

I get back to work as I continue to scan the area for a blonde-haired woman or a black Jeep. Daniel comes out and offers to help me while Dale sits on the front porch of the bakery, keeping guard. After the lawn is cut and edged, I power wash the building. Connor sits on the ledge of the window seat inside the bakery and watches us. I spray the window and although I can't hear him, I can see him laughing. As soon as everything is done and loaded back on the trailer, Daniel, Connor, and I play fetch with Dale. It isn't until Chase pulls up that I become concerned. I look at Daniel and he also has a concerned look on his face as he watches with interest as Chase gets out of the car. I pick up Connor and walk over with Daniel to greet Chase.

After the pleasantries are made, he asks, "Is Nichole in the house? I've tried calling her, but my calls go to voicemail."

"She is. Her phone was dead earlier, so that might explain why it's going to voicemail. She'll be glad to see you." Looking over at Daniel I say, "You walk in with him, and I'll stay outside with Connor." I have no idea what he has to talk about, but I'm sure it's something Connor shouldn't hear.

"Gladly."

Before they make it to the door, Nichole is standing on the small porch, waiting. Concern fills her eyes. My first thought was to stay outside, but I think I need to be in there with Nichole. Connor and I walk into the house after Chase and Daniel.

Nichole lightly touches my arm. "I'm glad you're here. Let me put Connor upstairs to play, and then I'll be right back."

"That's a good idea," Chase says.

I watch as Nicole and Rachael remove their aprons and rush upstairs with little Connor.

I want to ask what he discovered, but I don't. Nichole needs to hear it first. I stand patiently as everyone remains quiet. Several things run through my mind as to what he has to say.

Rachael comes down the stairs and stands next to Daniel. Nichole sits in the chair across from where I'm standing.

Chase doesn't stall; he gets right to the point. "I located the doctor who signed the death certificate for Lorraine."

"What did he say?"

"He committed suicide yesterday. His wife arrived home and found him in the garage. The car was running and he had a hose going from the exhaust to inside the car with the windows rolled up."

Nichole sinks into the chair. "We still have no answers."

"He left a suicide note for his wife and letters for several other people."

"I understand the suicide note, but who are the other people he wrote letters for?"

"After I talked to his wife, she told me to call the police department to see if I could find out anything. She said the police took the letters. To make a long story short, one of the letters is for Nichole Emerson."

My first thoughts are people commit suicide from depression. They eventually lose their battle with depression. But why would he write notes or letters to other people? Out of guilt? Shame? Embarrassment? To right his wrong?

"I don't understand," Nichole says softly.

"I wish I had the answers for you. I thought it would be best to ride to Lake City and pick up the letter today, or if you want they can mail it to you."

"I agree," she says. "I think the sooner the better. I'm eager to see what his dying words were."

"You should be aware that whatever he wrote to you, the police have already read."

"Good. If he forged people's death certificates, the police should know."

"You're right," agrees Chase, who is sitting beside her. Daniel, Rachael, and I remain standing. "There's something that you need to know about the doctor."

"What's that?"

"The doctor who committed suicide and signed off on Lorraine's death certificate is also the doctor who was on Brett's payroll."

I can see her hands visibly shake on the table. She interlocks her fingers as she tries to steady them. Tears fill her eyes as she remembers him.

When she doesn't say anything, Chase says, "I'm more than happy to drive you there today."

"Now?" she asks.

"I told Ava I may be awhile. Skylar and Drew are there to help with the twins."

Rachael says, "Nichole, Daniel and I will be happy to keep Connor."

Daniel adds, "We know to watch him carefully, keeping the doors and windows locked at all times."

"Thank you. I hope you understand when I say I need to keep him with me. It's not that I don't trust you..."

"No, you don't need to explain. We understand."

She looks up at me and says, "I'd like for you to come with us. That is if..."

"It'd be my pleasure."

"Daniel and I will stay here and clean this up, and then we'll head home." Rachael walks over to Nichole and adds, "Please, if you want to talk about anything, you can call me anytime."

Nichole stands to hug her. "I know. Thank you so much for being my friend. I love you like a sister."

Nichole

On the drive to the Lake City Police Department, I sit in the back with Connor. Daniel and Rachael offered to take Dale home with them until we get back.

As we get closer, my mind races with what is in the letter. What could that doctor have to say? Sorry I treated your injuries secretly and didn't report your injuries to the authorities. Sorry about signing off on a live woman's death certificate. Sorry I helped in making your life a living hell. My mind races with the many different times I saw this doctor in my own home; the last time is the most vivid. I was unconscious in the beginning, but days later I remembered. I remember Ava being there as the doctor was teaching her about dressing changes. I remember Ava crying and shaking as she did what she was told. She had to or she would get these injuries next. Brett and Connor didn't mess around. I remember the doctor trying to talk Brett into sending me to the hospital. The doctor said I may not make it. Brett didn't care. It was one of many times I prayed for death. Ava was throwing up at the sight of the wound. I knew it was bad. I knew this would be a life changer for me, if I did survive it. I was thankful the injuries weren't on my face. Every day I prayed for death. Every day during the months of in-home recovery, I prayed for Ava to kill me. I wanted death; in fact, I welcomed it.

I didn't know that the doctor who failed to help me was also the same doctor who pronounced Lorraine dead. I saw the name of the death certificate and I never once put the two together. I'm such an idiot. I should have known. I got a copy of Lorrain and of Brett's death certificates. I thought one day Connor would want to see it.

"Are you ready?" Chase asks.

I hadn't realized we were already here.

"I'll keep Connor out here." When I pause, Luke says, "Don't worry, he's in good hands."

He stands and opens the door for me while Chase watches and waits. "Luke, she's from this area. She may be watching us."

"Trust me, Nichole. If she is here, she'll have to get through me to get to him. Go ahead and take care of this. I promise I won't let anything happen to him."

With this reassurance, I leave with Chase to claim my letter.

After showing proper identification, I sit in the corner of the room holding the re-sealed envelope in my hands. Chase sits quietly beside me. Taking deep breaths, I opened the taped envelope slowly.

Mrs. Emerson,

Being called Mrs. Emerson turns my stomach.

I've done things as a doctor that I am not proud of, and I am truly sorry. I can't forgive myself, so how can I ask you to forgive me? I wrote many letters tonight, yours being the last and the most difficult. The nightmares I have of seeing you lying there covered in blood and gore haunt me. I know this is God's punishment to me.

How dare that monster mention God. I know the images he's talking about. I've tried for years to forget them. They're branded into my brain, into my skin, forever. I wipe the tears caused by the memory.

I have something I need to say to you before I end this nightmare that has become my existence. I've falsified someone's death certificate. This woman is indeed alive and well. Much like you and me, she was under Brett's spell. She couldn't escape her living hell. At the time, I thought this is a way for me to do something right, to do something good for someone. If Brett believed she was dead, he couldn't hurt her. He couldn't turn her son into a monster like... others who followed his lead. She wouldn't end up like you, scarred for life. Not just the scars you see everyday, but the ones hidden in your head. The ones that haunt you in your sleep.

I know he's talking about my only son, Connor, being the monster under Brett's spell. I wish more than anything I had left and taken my son far away. Any life we lived would have been an improvement. If only I was as smart as Lorraine. I did beg, but it wasn't enough. The doctor only looked away and ignored my pleas. More tears fall. I know the physical scars he's talking about. He saw them and wouldn't report them. He saw my pain and offered me nothing. I wanted to die. I prayed for death. I begged Ava to end it for me. I didn't want to wake up and live another day. Steady tears flow.

She bribed and begged me to do the right thing. Sadly, it's because I pronounced her dead that she was able to live. I couldn't save you, and I wish I had. If I was braver I could have stood up to Brett and your son, but I couldn't. I was nothing but a puppet, and they were my master. By the time I found a morsel of the man I once was, it was too late to help you. You were gone, seeking refuge far and away from here. You survived what others couldn't. Lorraine, on the other hand, I could help. Brett was taking her down the same path you once walked, stumbled, and crawled. Frightened and afraid for her and her son's life, she begged me to help her and to save her son. Her cries mimicked your own. She worried more for her son than she did for her own life.

I know this doesn't change anything for you, but maybe it'll make a difference to her and her son. Maybe they'll be able to move forward in some way. I'm sorry it was too late for me to help you.

And just like that the letter ends. My worst nightmare is now a reality. Lorraine's alive and she wants her son. When the letter slips from my hand, I'm startled. I remain still as Chase picks it up and reads it. My mind races with how this will end. I'll lose little Connor. It isn't until I cry uncontrollably that I feel someone touch me.

I don't know how, but I walk outside with Chase. I try to control my thoughts and my crying because of little Connor. I can't let him see me like this. What was I thinking bringing him here with me? I guess I was hoping for better news. I had to bring him with me. I can't trust others to keep him safe. No one else loves him like I do. No one else will risk their life to save his. Luke said he'll keep him safe. But how far would he go to save little Connor? Would he die so my grandson could live? I would. Without even pausing for one second, I would give my life for his.

What can I do? Run. I have enough from my and Brett's divorce to move and start over. Is that the answer? To take little Connor someplace new where we can never be found? I can't bear the thought of losing him. "I can't lose him, Chase."

"You won't. We need to get home, then we can talk. I have an idea."

Before we get to the car, Luke is standing outside, holding little Connor tightly. He looks so small next to Luke's massive size. Luke is well over six feet tall, making little Connor look even smaller than he really is. I dry my tears and put on a fake smile. It's not the first time I've faked happiness. I don't talk to Luke, I can barely look at him. Chase opens the back door, and I climb in. Luke carefully places Connor in his car seat and fastens the seat belt.

"Are you all right?" he whispers.

"I'm not." I look up into his dark eyes, "Chase has something if you want to read it."

He nods before closing the door. I can see them talking although I can't hear what is being said. I open a book and read it to Connor for a distraction. God knows I need a distraction. Although my lips are moving to the words in the book that I know by heart, I'm planning my and Connor's escape in my mind. I can't let Lorraine have him. I can't live without him. I need him as much as I need my next breath. Without him I would die.

When we finally arrive back to Savannah, Connor is sound asleep. On the drive back, no one talked about the letter or about Lorraine. We did talk about going to the zoo and what kind of party Connor wanted for his third birthday. His birthday is still a couple months away. I just went along with them. I can't commit to something when I have no idea where we'll be in four months, three months, or even next month. I do know I can't expose my grandson to the public. I need to keep him safe. A tear slides down my cheek followed by another and another. As quickly as I swipe them away, more fall. How can I keep him captive? That's no way for a small child to live. He needs to be able to attend school and to play outside without the threat of his biological mother snatching him. I can't risk her trying to reclaim him, legally or otherwise. I can't lose him. I won't lose him.

When we stop the car, while I am still in a daze, I remove little Connor's seat belt. I hug him tightly on my lap. Smelling his hair, I calm myself as much as I can. He's my strength. He's my security. He's what's been missing from my life. I need to do the right thing for him. Whatever that may be. He deserves the best that life has to offer him. I look out the window and see the bakery. I've worked so hard to create a home for Connor and me. This was my job security. If this place is threatening for Connor and me, I'll leave it. I'll walk away from it and think nothing about it.

I'm glad we're here and not at the inn or at Luke's place. I need to think and pack in private. My mind races with things I need to do. I'll need to get Connor out of here as quickly as I can. Lorraine will come and want Connor. Judges like keeping children with their moms and dads. Even if the better decision is to place the child with a loving grandparent, judges will side with the mother. They won't look at everything I've done for him, they'll see only that she's his biological mother and I'm just the grandmother. Tears fall and I let them. I can't lose him. I won't lose him. It's too painful to think about. I can't bear that kind of pain. The pain that rips right through your heart and cuts deep into your soul. The kind of heartache that never heals but has no visible injuries. Just a broken heart you can feel to your core, but can't see.

"We need to talk," Chase says, opening the car door.

I walk to the apartment over the bakery. "Here, let me carry him for you," Luke says, reaching for him.

"No, I got him." Looking through blurred vision, I'm surprised to make it there without tripping and falling. I'm filled with emotions, but I don't let them show. Other than the tears, I remain calm. I have cried silently many times before. In my mind, I'm planning our escape, just like I have done in the past. But before, it was just me leaving. Now I have a little boy I need to think about. I'll leave this time and not just chicken out at the last minute. I won't let history repeat itself. Connor and I will be gone before anything else can happen, before Lorraine can come and claim him.

I follow Chase into the apartment and into Connor's bedroom. I lay him on top of the comforter, and cover him with a throw blanket from the chair in the corner in his room. I kiss him and twirl his curls with my finger. I love his curly hair. I love his smell. I love everything about him. He's perfect. I can feel Luke and Chase watching me. I just want to climb in bed and savor every moment with him. I want him to know how much I love him. I never want him to wonder if he was loved, or how much he was loved.

Forcing myself to stand from his bed, I check the locks on his second-floor bedroom windows. It seems ridiculous, but I have to know he's safe. Then I follow Luke and Chase into the living room.

We all sit down and Chase starts first. "I don't think Lorraine's here to take Connor."

I lift my eyes to meet his. "What?"

"I just reread this letter from that doctor again and if what he said is true, I don't think she's here to claim Connor."

I can feel hope in my heart. "I read the letter, I didn't get that."

He hands the letter to Luke who reads it before handing it to me.

The doctor wrote, "Brett was taking her down the same path you once walked. Frightened and afraid for her and her son's life, she begged me to help her and to save her son. Her cries mimicked your own. She worried more for her son than she did for her own life."

"To me, this sounds like a desperate mother," Chase says.

Luke agrees.

I also agree, but I don't voice it. "Then what is she doing here?"

"I don't know. Maybe she wants to see if Connor's okay?" Luke remains silent beside me and holds my hand for support. "I don't know what she wants. But I doubt she wants to hurt him and I think she believes that if she took her son from the only mother he's ever known, that would be devastating to him."

Is it stupid of me to have hope? Yes, yes, it is. How can you see this little boy and not want him for your own. "If she loved him as much as the doctor claims, then she'll want him back. They'll be no stopping her."

Luke clears his throat. "Could she love him enough to let him go? To let him live a happy and healthy lifestyle that she wasn't able to give him?"

The voice of logic. Hope once again fills my heart. It is possible. If my parents were still alive when I had Connor, I thought that if I could, I would send Connor to them. Let them raise him as their own. They would love him and keep him safe. I didn't have anyone and Brett started molding Connor into the monster that he was at a very young age. When I find my voice, I say, "I think you can love someone enough to let him go."

"I do, too," Chase agrees.

When Chase leaves, Luke stays the night with little Connor and me. Chase leaves and comes back with Dale, before heading home to the inn with his wife and daughters. Dale stands guard outside of Connor's bedroom. I'm not sure how he knows to do that, but I feel better knowing he's here, ready to protect Connor and keep him safe.

We stay up and talk most of the night. I figure I might as well tell him more about my past and what my life was like with Brett and my son Connor. I don't tell him everything. I tell him things I think he should know. It's hard to explain the situation with Lorraine, without going into detail. He listens to everything. The look on his face never changes. He doesn't say anything judgmental, like why did you stay? Why didn't you leave? Why didn't you call the police? He just listens as he maintains eye contact. I can see the sadness in his eyes. He has very honest eyes, but he shows no other facial expression.

"At the time, I was truly afraid for my life. I was afraid for my parents' life, and for Connor's life. Brett would have killed them. He would have killed each of them to teach me a lesson. This I knew for certain. That's why I stayed. That's why I couldn't leave."

"I've wanted to ask, but I didn't want to pry. One thing you shared with me awhile back was you've had stitches fourteen times. I've watched you and seen how graceful you are, so I knew you weren't clumsy or careless. I didn't want to believe your injuries were caused by someone."

"My life wasn't always rainbows and butterflies."

"I wish I knew you back then." He lifts my hand and kisses my knuckles. "I would have helped you. I could have provided you a safe place to stay."

I know he believes that, but I also know the man who Brett Emerson was. It wasn't until everything I had was taken away that I felt the time was right for me to leave. My parents and my son were all dead. No one else was left for him to hurt. I was a prisoner in my own body, in my own home. I loved no one in order to keep them safe. I don't say any of that to Luke.

"Thank you, I appreciate that."

"I need to know. What are you planning on doing now? Are you planning on running with little Connor in order to protect him from his birth mother?"

Looking up at him, I remain quiet.
Chapter Five: The Truth

Nichole

I didn't leave that night, and I didn't leave that week either. Connor and I stayed with Luke, and I talked to Rachael and Daniel. I also spoke to Chase and Ava and to Skylar and Drew. They all said the same thing. That from what the doctor said in his letter, maybe Lorraine loves her son enough to free him. Ava didn't say it, but I can see the doubt in her eyes. She doesn't trust easily, and she doesn't trust the doctor who nearly destroyed the both of us, or the woman who slept with both of our husbands.

I decided to stay here in Savannah with my friends and with Luke. It's been nearly four months since I saw Lorraine down by the beach. I haven't seen her since. But that doesn't mean that I think she's gone. I still feel like someone is watching me, but I don't voice it.

I withdrew Connor from pre-school so I can watch him more closely at home. Looks like he'll be home schooled and I'm okay with that. Every day I keep little Connor close by. He doesn't go to Ava's house without me. I can't risk Lorraine showing up unexpectedly. Every time I see a blonde-haired woman, I think it might be her. Every time I see an unfamiliar car, I'm fearful that it's her. I can't help it. I have no idea where she is or what she wants.

Luke's house is done, and he moved in down the street. He hired additional help to get it completed sooner. He doesn't say he worries about us, but I know he does. His actions say more than his words. Sometimes we stay there with him, and sometimes he stays here with us.

We've gotten close, and we spend a lot of time together. We've never mentioned the word "love," but his actions say it for him. He's everything I ever read in a book that a man should be. He's the hero in every heroic movie I ever watched. He's everything my dad was, and he's everything that Brett wasn't.

We share the same bed, but we haven't made love yet. He still doesn't know the extent of Brett's abuse. I can't tell him. I can't let him see what Brett has done to me. He'll be disgusted when he sees it. There will be no hiding the disgust on his face. I see the same look every time I look in the mirror. I saw the look on Ava's face when she was forced to care for me. When she was forced to wrap my body in gauze and medicated cream. Brett told me every day how ugly my scars were, and how no one would ever be able to love me because of them. Maybe he's right. Maybe I'm just wishing Luke isn't like everyone else. How long can I hide my body from him? Sooner or later I'll have to tell him. I'll have to show him my secret.

Rachael helps me out a lot. She comes to the bakery early and she stays later than necessary. I'm grateful for her patience and understanding. She knows some things, but she doesn't know everything. I live each day like I'm okay. But I'm far from being all right. It's hard being relaxed when you know someone is watching you and you have no idea what they want, or when they'll make their presence known. Well, that's not true. I have Lorraine's son, and she wants him back. That part I'm sure of. My days with little Connor are numbered.

Chase is working hard to find Lorraine. But so far, he's found nothing. She has no family or friends. And to most of the world, she's dead. Chase used to work with her at the law firm in Lake City when she was my son's legal secretary, but he still can't find anything on her. Luke hired a private investigator to help in the search, yet I can't help but worry that she'll show up here again.

Connor's third birthday is coming up in a few weeks, and he wants to have a party. I keep him secluded and safe, but I can't keep him a hostage his whole life. He needs to live and explore life. Although it's against my better judgment, I decide to throw him a birthday party.

"So, for Connor's birthday, I thought we could have a small cookout here at the bakery."

Luke looks up at me with a smile. "Something small with family and a few friends?"

"That's right."

"Maybe we could have something on the farm?"

"You want to have Connor's birthday party on your farm?" This shouldn't surprise me. Luke has accepted Connor quickly and easily. But Luke's a man in his fifties who has never had children, so this does come as a pleasant surprise. I love the land and the house that Luke built just down the road from us. He used to call it the property, but now that it's finished, he calls it the farm.

"Nothing would make me happier." He doesn't stop for me to reply. "I was thinking of having my friend Carter Reynolds bring in some ponies from his farm that we could corral up for a controlled pony ride."

I don't know if I'm more surprised that he has a friend, or that I've never met him. "You have a friend?" He looks at me in surprise. "I mean, why have I never met your friend before?"

"He's been busy getting his life back on track. He's divorced and has been trying to find himself."

"Life after divorce can be tough. Marriage in a bad relationship is worse."

"He had a hard time in the beginning, but he's finally getting back on track. Taking care of himself and getting back into farming."

"It's good he's finally moving on." Thinking that the bakery is an open area, I think I like the idea of having the party on Luke's farm. It's gated and a bit more secluded than the bakery. I'll feel safer having it there.

Later that night after our family movie night, Luke and I put little Connor to bed. Luke sometimes will sleep on the couch while I sleep in the bed. We haven't been intimate, and I think this is easier for Luke. Sometimes we'll fall asleep on the couch together, and sometimes he'll lie in bed with me until I fall asleep. I'm in bed when he walks out of the bathroom in a tee-shirt and a pair of grey plaid sleep pants.

When he lies on top of the covers, I scoot over to his waiting arms. Inhaling his unique scent of sandalwood and spice, I hold onto him a little tighter. He's my safe zone. Luke's become a lot to me and to Connor. He does so much and asks for nothing in return. I know he deserves someone who can open up to him. I know he deserves a woman who can love him in ways that I can't. In ways that maybe I can never love him. I'm damaged goods and I know it. I knew it all along. Maybe I was fooling myself into thinking I could do this relationship. It's just a matter of time before Luke wants more. More than I can give him. We're adults. I should be able to tell him my fears. Show him what's holding me back. But I can't. I can never reveal what I'm hiding. As mature as he is, I know he won't be able to deal with it. I shouldn't expect him to. It's been years, and I can barely deal with this myself.

He leans over and kisses me intimately. His kisses are always soft and tender. Cupping my cheek with one hand, he runs his free hand down the length of my body. I squirm when he gets to my mid-section. I don't like being touched there. He stops and lowers his forehead until it touches mine.

"I'm sorry," I say in a whisper.

"Whatever it is, I don't care about. Whatever you're hiding, it doesn't matter to me." I know he believes the words he says. "It's not about sex. I want to feel every inch of your body. I just want to be with you and show you how much I care for you."

"I can't." I touch his face softly and kiss his lips. He won't be okay with what he sees. He won't be okay with the way I look.

He kisses my lips and runs his nose along my cheek. "I'll wait. I'm not going anywhere. Whenever you're ready, I'll be here."

"Luke, I can't. I may never be able to give you what you want."

He backs away from me so he can see me better. "What is it. Stretch marks? I don't care about those. You've given birth, it's expected."

I wish it were stretch marks. "No, it's worse than that."

"Nichole, whatever it is, it doesn't matter. All I care about is you and little Connor. Nothing else matters to me."

I decide now to tell him. There's never a good time. If he can't handle it, it's best he leaves now, before my feelings deepen for him. This won't be easy to say and it certainly won't be easy for him to hear. I sit up straighter in the bed and lower my shirt when it tries to rise up. He also leans against the headboard.

"I knew eventually, I would have to have this conversation with you. I just wish I didn't have to have it so soon." He remains still, never looking away from me. "When I was married, I suffered many injuries." I force my voice to remain calm. "Some of the injuries you know about."

"The multiple stitches?"

"Those are the minor injuries. The most severe you don't know about." I beg the tears to remain at bay.

"I thought those were the more severe."

I wish they were. "The worst of my injuries left scarring. My husband once punished me by throwing scalding water on me."

"Oh, Nichole." He's a smart man, and he knows the type of injury and scarring I'm talking about. "I had no idea."

"I know. I lived through it, although I prayed for death." I stand from the bed wearing a black long sleeve tee-shirt and a pair of yoga pants. With tears in my eyes I lift my shirt slightly above my waist and say, "I have to wear this pressure garment around my mid-section." He sits up in the bed and moves to the edge watching me. "It helps with the itching and makes me feel more normal. Because of the burn, and the lack of treatment I received, the scarring is raised, still red, painful, and sensitive."

Closing his eyes, he says, "He didn't get you help?"

"Ava did the best she could with the supplies they gave her."

"Ava?"

"I was unconscious for the first few days." Wiping the steady flow of tears, I stop at the memory.

"Ava cared for your burns?"

"It was the only care Brett would allow. It was her punishment and mine."

"Oh. My. God." He stands from the bed and kisses me. "I'm sorry. I had no idea."

"It's okay. I've accepted it. It's who I am; it'll always be a part of me. But the scars are horrific at best."

"I don't care about the scars. They don't matter to me."

"You say that now, but you haven't seen them." Tears flow steadily. I take a step back and remove my shirt. Standing in front of him in a bra, yoga pants, and a beige-colored pressure garment. Leaving my bra on, I slowly loosen the Velcro straps holding the pressure garment in place. I watch him as he lowers his eyes to my stomach. Through blurred vision, I let the garment fall to the ground. Exposed and vulnerable, I stand there and watch him as he scans the red, raised scarring that marks my body from just below my breasts to just above my pelvis and on each of my sides. He doesn't flinch or blink. His facial expression doesn't change. He slowly walks over to me.

"They're called hypertrophic scars. Do they hurt?"

He backs away slowly and touches my belly, running his finger lightly over the scarring, from one side to the other. His expression never changes. He looks at me just as he did earlier. This isn't the expression I was expecting. I thought he would look mortified.

"Sometimes they hurt more than other times."

He slowly and gently places his hands on my face, claiming my mouth with his. He kisses me softly and sweetly. "You're beautiful." He brushes a strand of my hair away from my face and kisses me again. "Everything about you is perfect."

My tears fall and my lip quivers. "What about the scars?"

"I don't see them." He wipes the tears away before kissing me again. "I love you." Kiss. "All I can see is a beautiful." Kiss. "Gorgeous." Kiss. "Flawless woman standing here in front of me." Kiss. "And I want nothing more than to make passionate love to her." Kiss.

"Really?" Is he serious?

"Have I ever lied to you?"

Sniffling, I say, "No."

"And I never will." Kiss. "I love you, Nichole Marie Anderson."

"God, I love you, Luke Joshua Tanner."

And this was the first night of many that Luke and I will share together.

Luke

Nothing could have prepared me for the scars that Nichole has been hiding. I knew that no matter what she showed me, I needed to maintain a straight face. I knew I had one chance to not screw this up. The injury that left those scars was worse than I could have ever imagined. How she could have lived through that is beyond me.

Her scars reminded me of some I saw during combat. Explosions from oil tankers and gasoline bombs. I refocus my attention on the beautiful woman standing in front of me.

When I look in her stunning crystal blue eyes, I could no longer see the scars. All I saw was a woman I loved. A woman I wanted in my life. A woman I wanted to care for and to take care of. All I saw was a woman I couldn't live without.

I cherished her entire body, kissing every inch of her, scars and all. I wanted her to feel loved. I wanted to replace her bad memories with good ones. I wanted her to feel what it was like to be wanted. One night wouldn't be enough to wash away her nightmares; it would take a lifetime. And I vow to one day make her realize she is beautiful and worthy of all the great things I plan to give to her.

The next morning before I get up, Nichole is already showered and dressed for the day. This is a normal routine for her. I know she wants her privacy and after last night, I can see this hasn't changed.

With the bathroom door still closed, I get up and get myself a coffee before taking Dale outside. Connor comes with us and stands on the balcony watching Dale.

"When Dale has babies, can I have one?"

I laugh at his lack of knowledge. "I'm not sure Dale will ever have puppies."

"Why not?"

"Dale doesn't have a girlfriend." Seems like a good enough answer to me.

"Momma's your girlfriend, is she going to have a baby?"

I spit my coffee out, thankful it didn't come out my nose. "No, I don't think so."

"Why not?"

Because we're too old to have kids? No, I can't say that. Because her stomach is scarred and she won't be able to carry a child? Definitely can't say that.

Now standing in the doorway Nichole says, "Because I have a perfect little boy right here. Momma doesn't need any other kids."

I look back at her, thankful that she intervened. She walks out onto the balcony dressed and ready for the day. She smiles when she sees the relief on my face. She looks beautiful and I can't take my eyes off of hers. She's wearing a floral sundress and her hair is pulled back into a ponytail. Her hair was shorter when I first met her. I didn't realize how long it was getting until just now. She looks beautiful. She blushes as if she's reading my mind.

"When Dale gets a girlfriend, can I have a puppy?"

"Let's get you a bath, then we can talk about it."

Connor runs into the house, yelling excitedly about getting a puppy. Dale runs up the stairs barking just as excitedly. I think Dale's thinking about the time he may get lucky. I open the door for Dale and Nichole as Dale runs in first and nearly trips Nichole. Taking Nichole carefully by her waist, I kiss her. "Good morning."

She reciprocates my kiss. "Yes, it is."

After Connor's bath and when Rachael arrives, Nichole walks me outside.

Luke says, "I'll be done early tonight. Do you and Connor want to have dinner out tonight?" I know we've been hanging out at home a lot.

"We'd love to."

"Good. I love you and I'll see you soon." I'm not surprised at how easily that rolls off my tongue. I've known I loved Nichole for a while now. I just wasn't sure when I was going to tell her.

"I love you, too. Do you want to take Dale with you today?"

"I don't think he'll come." I look up the stairs leading to the apartment. "C'mon, Dale. Let's go."

He barks from inside the apartment but doesn't come to the door. "It's better for him to stay here to watch over Connor anyway." I kiss her again. "I'll be home later."

"Okay, sounds good."

While walking from the bakery to the farm, I constantly scan the area for a black Jeep. Why would Lorraine let herself be seen, and then disappear? It makes no sense. I was expecting her to reach out to Nichole by now. To tell Nichole what she wants. To send a letter from an attorney for visitation or custody. Something. Anything. But she's done nothing.

I try to work on the farm, but my mind races with thoughts of last night. The intimate moments I shared with Nichole. The way she smelled and tasted, and the sounds she made. I memorized how her body looks in the moonlight. The curve of her breasts. Her scars. The shiny, leathery feel of her scars. The smooth and flawless skin of her legs. I think about how much I want to protect her and keep her safe. I also think of how much I wish I could have protected my mother and my sister. The nightmares still haunt me. I think about the call I received from my father about my mother's death and the injuries my sister received.

When I can't concentrate on work any longer, I shower at the house and walk over to the bakery when I'm done.

Later that night and when Connor's in bed, Nichole and I sit outside on the balcony. It's a cool night, and the moon is bright.

Holding her hand, I absentmindedly caress her knuckles. "There's something I want to share with you about my family," I say slowly. She watches me carefully. "My parents divorced just after I joined the military."

She moves in her seat to give me her undivided attention.

"I was in the service when my mother remarried a man I barely knew. I tried, but I couldn't make it back in time for the wedding. Looking back now, everything happened so fast. The few times that I did meet him, I didn't like him. Something about him was off. He was demanding and expected my mother to wait on him. He seemed to be controlling. It's so much clearer now. She wasn't the strong and vibrant woman I knew her to be. She was different, almost shy, intimidated, or frightened."

Sitting quietly, she offers her soft touch as support.

"Ten years ago I was deployed to the Middle East when I got the call that my mother and sister were in an accident." My mind races as I try to put the pieces together. Things I've tried to forget, I'm now struggling to remember. "When I arrived stateside, I was met at the hospital by my father. He looked twenty years older than the last time I saw him, just six months earlier." I take a breath trying to find the courage to go on. "My mother was stabbed to death by her husband."

"Oh. My. God."

I can hear the sadness in her broken voice.

"My sister was there. She tried to help my mother. The son-of-a-bitch cut my sister, causing permanent paralysis from her waist down. She fell to the ground unable to move. It was only when he thought she was dead that he left them both for dead."

"I'm sorry."

Looking up at her, I can see the tears streaming down her face. Nichole, who has suffered horrific injuries, cries for my mother and sister.

"I thought you needed to know the story before meeting her."

"I had no idea."

"I know. I don't talk about it."

"I understand."

"I suffer from guilt over not being there to protect them. I feel guilty for..."

"You shouldn't. None of what happened was your fault. You had no way of knowing what was going on or what was going to happen to either of them." She stands and climbs onto my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck. She kisses me tenderly and sweetly.

"Thank you, but I do. I probably always will."

"How is your sister?"

"Adjusting to her new reality." I pause before saying, "I think she's adjusting better than any of us."

"She doesn't blame you for what happened, and you shouldn't blame yourself either."

"Thank you. There's something else you need to know about me."

She widens her eyes. "Okay."

"I suffer from P.T.S.D."

"From what happened to your mother and sister?"

"No. I'm broken more than you know."

"I don't think you're broken at all."

"It's from my time I've spent in the military."

"From the attack on Drew and his comrades?"

"You know about that?" I'm trying to remember did I ever talk to her about Drew.

"Well, you know Skylar..."

I laugh a genuine laugh. "Say no more. But yes, that is when I knew I needed to retire. After that attack, I knew I wouldn't survive another tour of duty. I had rage for the enemy. It was personal. They were killing my friends, my comrades, and I wanted them dead. All of them." I blink at the memory. "I wanted to stand over the enemy and watch them struggle to take their last breath. I wanted to be the reason they died." I know I sound like a monster. I look at her to see if she's frightened of me. She isn't. "I suffer from night terrors and P.T.S.D, and this is something I feel you need to be aware of."

She interlocks our fingers. "I've never known you to have nightmares."

"I don't have them when I'm with you."

"Good, I don't have them with you either."

"Is it possible that we can fix each other?"

"I don't know, but I'm willing to try."

Nichole

The last few days, Luke and I have made great progress with ourselves and our relationship. I love the way he accepted me lovingly, even after seeing my scars. I'm sure they bother him, but I can't tell. I look for a reaction in his face whenever he sees me, especially the times when he doesn't know I'm watching, and so far, I haven't seen anything that says he's anything but accepting. He looks at me with love and appreciation. But how? My skin is scarred. It's ugly. Yet he doesn't care what it looks like.

I wish my parents were alive. I wish they could meet little Connor and Luke. My parents would love them. Mom would be thrilled to be a great-grandma. She loved children. She was the most amazing mom in the world. I try daily to be the mom that she was. Dad and she would also love Luke. What isn't there to love? He's everything my dad was. God, how I miss them.

I had no idea the things that Luke's kept to himself. The feelings he's kept hidden. I hope I'm helping him. I hope I can let him know that he's not responsible for anything. My heart hurts at what he's been through. What his sister has been through. What his family has been through.

"Are you guys ready to go?" Luke calls from the other room.

"Almost. Just give me one more minute."

I decide on a red sweater and a pair of jeans. It's just dinner with Luke and Connor. Since I saw Lorraine at the beach, Connor and I have spent a lot of time at home. Especially in the beginning. But as time goes on and there have been no sightings of her and no word on her, I feel safer when leaving the house.

Knocking on the bedroom door, he opens it slowly. "You look stunning," he says.

"You always say that."

"It must be true."

He's wearing jeans, boots, and a red and white button-up shirt.

"You look pretty sharp yourself."

"Thank you." He looks over his shoulder and says, "Are you ready, Connor?"

"Yep. C'mon, Dale," he says.

"Oh, no, buddy. Dale can't come on this trip."

"Dale always comes."

Luke kneels down to make eye contact with Connor. "He does. But he needs to stay here and watch over the bakery while we're gone."

"But who will watch him?"

Luke looks up at me for help.

"He's doesn't need a sitter," I say.

"Momma, he'll be sad if we leave him."

I look down at Luke when I'm not sure what to say.

"Okay, Dale, you can ride in the back of the truck." Luke stands and picks up Connor to carry him outside. "It's hard reasoning with a child."

"Who are you telling?"

Since Dale is coming with us, we decide to have dinner down at Tybee Island, since it's a pet-friendly place. It's the first time I'll be there since seeing Lorraine. I have some anxiety, but I try to hide it.

We have dinner at an outside restaurant when we see Drew and Skylar walking past. When they see us, they come over to our table. After making pleasantries, Luke asks them to join us. They do. Since I'm sitting across from Luke, Skylar sits besides him, and Drew sits beside me at the only empty chair.

"How did you get the day off?" I ask, looking at Drew.

"I made him," Skylar says and Drew laughs. "He works too much. I told him it was me or the bar."

Drew spits his beer out and laughs. Luke raises a brow. "That's not exactly how it went."

Skylar smiles at him, revealing perfect white teeth. Her dark hair is now more blonde than I remember. She looks striking. "It isn't?" she asks in almost a daring tone.

"Not exactly. But I did agree that I worked too much."

"You remember it how you want to, and I'll remember it the way it really went down."

Skylar is a ball of spunk. Everything about her is casual and fun. The blonde hair suits her well. I don't know her well, but I do like her a lot.

We all laugh until a woman with short blonde hair walks up to our table. "Luke," she says, ignoring the rest of us.

Luke immediately looks uncomfortable. "Monica," he says curtly.

I look at Monica, and then I look around the table. Suddenly, I remember who Monica is. She's the one who said she was pregnant by him but couldn't or wouldn't produce proof of a pregnancy. I look around the table before looking up at the tall blonde again. Thank God she doesn't look pregnant. With the amount of time that's passed, she would certainly be showing by now. Dale growls beneath the table, and I reach down to pet him to calm him. I also recognize her from the woman he was talking to outside the club the night Rachael and I went out.

"I've missed you." She's looking right at Luke as if no one else is at the table. "You should call me sometime so we can catch up," she says, batting her eyes.

Sitting across from him and next to Drew and Connor, I remain silent. She certainly is nervy. She has no idea who is sitting with him at the table.

Before anyone can say anything, Skylar says, "Luke, aren't you going to introduce us?"

I try to keep my mouth closed as she drapes one of her arms seductively around his neck and reaches her left hand out for Monica's. "I don't know where his manners are," Skylar says in a accent more southern than she really has. "Hi, I'm Skylar Ann, Luke's fiancé." She wiggles her wedding/engagement ring finger at Monica. The sun shines brightly, making the ring sparkle like magic in the light. I'm thankful that Skylar was here to bail Luke out. I've never seen Luke at a loss for words until now. I sit up taller, not sure what to expect. Luke looks at Drew and Drew nods his head. I try to hold in my laughter. This should be interesting. Now if only Connor remains silent.

Monica squares her shoulders. "You are not," she says confidently. She sounds more confident than she looks.

"It happened so fast that we can hardly believe it ourselves," Skylar says, still holding her hand for Monica to see.

"Luke?" Monica says.

He smiles, looking at me. "It's true, Monica. I'm in love."

She huffs and storms off. I blush at his confession that he loves me to everyone. I don't know if they caught on to it, but I did. A woman walks by the table and stares at Drew before smiling at him. Skylar removes her arm from around Luke's neck and says, "What are you looking at? He's with me!"

Everyone at the table laughs but Connor.

Drew just shakes his head and takes a drink of his beer.

"Jealous much?" Luke asks Skylar.

"Yeah, a little. Who are these b—" She looks down at Connor before she continues. "— broads who think this is acceptable? These guys are sitting with their girlfriends and wives and they think their big b—" She looks down at Connor again. "— brown eyes will get their attention?"

I look at Connor before answering. "Maybe she thought you were with him," I say, nodding to Luke.

She laughs, "That was a bit confusing for a few minutes."

"Just a bit," Luke says. "Thanks for taking care of that for me."

"No problem. So you're in love with Nichole, are you?"

"You heard that?"

"I don't miss much. I told you, didn't I?"

I'm not sure what she told him, but I listen closely.

"Yes, Skylar, you did. She's everything you said, and more."

The rest of the day I can't stop smiling. Luke confessed to everyone that he loves me. He loves me. I still can't believe it. I have a man who is accepting of me and my grandson. Flaws and all.

Luke

When Skylar draped her arm around my neck, I didn't know what to expect. I started to pull away until I realized what she was doing. Drew didn't seem surprised or upset. I laughed to myself when I saw the look on Monica's face. That was priceless.

As the days go on, I can see changes in Nichole. I didn't know her before her abuse started, but I think she's becoming more of the person she was. She's happier. Although the threat of Lorraine looms, she doesn't let it stop her from doing things. In the beginning, she was shy and timid, now... she's different. Free. Happy.

Sex is incredible with Nichole. She always wears the pressure garment in and out of bed. I know it adds comfort and support, but I think she is still self conscious. Other than the first night with her, I've never seen her scars. She showers and dresses when I'm not there or when she thinks I'm still asleep. I don't sleep. Well, not much anyway. I never fall asleep before her, and I'm up every morning before dawn. I usually just lie in bed to be close to her.

Dale doesn't sleep much either. Every time I'm up in the middle of the night, he's awake.

While Nichole is showering, I get a text from Chase.

Chase: I think I found something. Can you meet me at the office?

Luke: Absolutely. Do you want me to bring Nichole with me?

Chase: No, not yet. I don't want to cause alarm until I'm sure.

Sure? Sure of what?

Luke: I'll be there as soon as Rachael gets here.

Chase: See you soon.

I usually shower when Nichole is done, but today, I shower in the guest bathroom, better known as Connor's trains and cars bathroom. I call it that because it's decorated in trains and cars. I've never kept secrets from Nichole before, but if Chase thinks we should wait to say anything, I think I need to wait. I need to at least see what he's found before deciding what to do. I still can't help but feel like I'm deceiving her.

I'm in the bakery with Connor helping Nichole set up when Rachael and her husband, Daniel, walk in. Rachael greets us warmly as she gets right to work. Daniel says "hi" before getting his coffee and taking a seat in the front of the bakery nearest the window. I suspect he knows something, but he doesn't let on.

Connor runs over to him excitedly with his muffin and milk. I watch as Daniel picks Connor up and sets him on the chair beside him. He's genuinely glad to see Connor and vice versa. I'm happy that Nichole has so many amazing people in her life. I knew Drew first; he was an amazing soldier. If Daniel is anything like his son, Drew, I know he's a good man.

Shortly after Rachael and Daniel get here, I say my goodbyes and leave. I'll probably beat Chase to his office, but that's okay. The longer I spent with Nichole, the more I felt like I was lying to her. For her own good or not, a lie is still a lie. I don't actually know anything, so is it still considered a lie? I also didn't tell her I was going straight to the farm, so I didn't actually lie about coming here either. Gah. It's still being dishonest and that's not right. Not after what she's been through.

When I get to Chase's office, his car is in the parking lot. Muting my cell phone, I eagerly walk inside.

"Hey, Luke, I'm in here," Chase calls from the other room.

Since I've never been here before, I follow the sound of his voice. It's not a massive building, but I can see that it serves its purpose. The small house has a second floor they must use as a conference room for new clients or for larger cases.

"Hi, I came over as soon as I could."

"I haven't been here long." He stands from behind his desk and offers me his hand before removing his suit jacket. "Have a seat, I have something you might be interested in seeing." He slides an envelope across the table. "The private investigator we hired developed these from the security camera he put out facing the main road from the bakery."

I lean up and take the envelope. Opening it, the first thing I see is a picture of a black Jeep. I haven't seen this Jeep in months. There are several other photos of the people in the Jeep. Their faces are distorted, making it difficult to see. It looks like it's a man and a woman in the vehicle.

"Is this the highest resolution we have? I can't make out who it is."

"He's working on better-quality photos. It looks like it was foggy or possibly raining. But if this is Lorraine in this Jeep, someone's with her and it looks like it's a male."

With what Lorraine wants with Nichole, would she need an accomplice? My only guess is that she wants her biological son, Connor. Could this be her boyfriend? "What are you thinking?" I finally ask. I have no idea what Lorraine looks like other than a few photos I saw online. I'm not even sure that this could be Lorraine. It's so hard to tell from the grainy images.

"I won't know until I can see better-quality photos. I know this sounds crazy and it's far fetched as hell, but what if..."

My mind races with what he's thinking. Then it dawns on me. Lorraine's with a male. "Oh. My. God. Don't say it. Don't tell me you think the other person is the ex-husband, Brett Emerson."

He leans up in his leather desk chair. "I think we need to keep an open mind."

"He's dead. There's no way in hell that this is Nichole's ex-husband, Brett." I can feel the veins bulging in my neck. The rage I felt while in combat is pretty close to how I'm feeling now. I swear, if this bastard is still alive after what he's done to Nichole and Ava, I'll rip his heart out with my bare hands.

"Lorraine was pronounced dead, too. And now look."

I think about what he's saying. "That's too far fetched for me to even comprehend. Did Brett Emerson have that much power to coerce doctors and medical professionals into lying? They have a chance of losing everything they've ever worked for in their life." What am I saying? Of course he did. He had a dentist and a doctor on his payroll. You know, to care for, but not totally care for Ava and Nichole. I think he hired them to keep them alive but not treat their injuries.

"Lorraine's alive, isn't she?"

Running my hands through my thick black hair, I try to understand what he's saying. How could he get two different doctors to go against everything they believe in? The doctors took an oath. Dammit, that means something, doesn't it? What about the other people? "Then should we question the death of her parents? Is he behind that, too? And what about her adult son, Connor? Is he also alive?"

He blows out a puff of air. "I don't know. I don't know what to believe. All I know for sure is when that bastard was alive, he was dangerous, and my fear is maybe he could be in that elusive Jeep that's lurking around."

I remember the fear in Nichole's voice as she talked about her marriage. I remember vividly the story of her burns and what Ava was forced to do. Without moving my head, I look at Chase. I know he's not just afraid for Nichole, but he's also afraid for his wife and possibly their children.

"All right. Let's assume he's alive until we find out for sure that he isn't."

"Are you going to tell Nichole about this?"

"How can I keep it from her?"

"Why don't you guys come over tonight and we'll tell them together?"

"Who's with Ava now?"

"Her parents and Skylar are there. Daniel's there with Rachael and Nichole, right?"

"You called him?"

"I did. I just want to take every precaution. Brett's crazy, and I wouldn't put it past him to return from the dead. He's done unimaginable things to..."

He doesn't finish his sentence. I understand his pain. "What time should we be there?"

"How about 7:00 this evening?"

"Sounds good. We'll be there."

I don't go to the farm to work, I drive past the bakery and park on the main road outside of the farm, watching the entrance to the bakery. My mind races with the thought that Brett could be alive. Can that even be possible? Someone had to claim the body. Someone had to go to the morgue to identify him. Who's his next of kin? Nichole, right? They were divorced. Are his parents still alive? Would little Connor be his next of kin? He is his grandson, after all.

I have too many unanswered questions to make a comprehensible thought. Too many things I don't have answers for. I need to know. If I have the correct information, then I'll be able to protect Nichole and little Connor.

Nichole

When Daniel and Rachael leave, I lock up and put Connor down for his nap. Only a few minutes pass before I hear a car pull up. Luke isn't due home for a few more hours, so imagine my surprise when I see his truck outside. He doesn't have a key to the apartment, so I greet him on the balcony.

"Trouble on the farm?" I tease.

"No, I just missed you."

My cheeks warm at his comment. How can I blush at his simple words? He makes me feel like a schoolgirl. I will never get tired of this. I watch as he walks up the flight of stairs leading to the balcony. "I'm glad you're home."

Concern covers his face. "Why, did something happen?"

Because Rachael isn't here, he probably thinks I've been here alone for hours. "No, nothing happened. Rachael and Daniel just left, and I just put Connor down for his nap."

He kisses me before holding the door open.

"Have you had lunch yet? I was just about to make myself a sandwich."

"That sounds good. Let me wash up, and I'll help."

He bends down and pets Dale before stepping over him to check on Connor. I watch as he kisses Connor. I remain observant until he closes the bedroom door behind him.

"You didn't work long today."

"I worked some. Waiting on more fencing to come in."

I watch as he walks off before I start cutting the fresh Italian bread to make the sandwiches. He finishes his shower about the same time I finish making our lunch.

Walking out of the bedroom with damp hair, he asks, "Do you want to eat on the balcony?"

"I'd love to."

He puts everything on the tray and carries it outside.

We eat mostly in silence, listening to the birds chirping and the sounds of the late afternoon.

Luke looks at me and says, "We've never talked about this before, but does Connor have any other grandparents?"

"Remember I told you my parents are both deceased."

"No, I didn't forget, but what about Brett's parents? Are they also dead?"

"He said his parents were killed in a car accident when he was in high school."

"What about Lorraine's parents?"

"I do know that Lorraine's parents have both passed. That's why I was able to get custody of Connor so quickly. No one was there to dispute it."

"I'm glad it went quickly for you and him. He was in foster care, wasn't he?"

"He was. Just for a few weeks. My home was here, but I was staying in Lake City so I could see him everyday. I didn't want to be a stranger when it was time for me to bring him home." I smile at the memory.

"So when Brett died, who did they notify for his next of kin?"

"They called me."

He watches me surprisingly. "So you had to go down and claim the body?"

"I went down and identified him, but I didn't claim his body." I look away. "I know that sounds bad, but after everything he did to me, l didn't care what they did with his corpse."

"Nichole, that doesn't sound bad at all. After what he's done to you, he got what he deserves."

"I think so." This is getting depressing so I try to change the subject. "Did you know that Ava, her mom, and Skylar threw me a baby shower for Connor?"

"A baby shower?"

"I know. It was more like a birthday party than a baby shower. They had balloons and a cake that said "Congrats, it's a boy."

"Ava's a good girl, isn't she?"

"She is. She's so happy now. Chase is amazing to her, and they are such great parents to their twin girls."

He stops as if he should say something. "Speaking of Chase, he wants us to stop over this evening around 7:00."

"He called you?"

He acts as if he's pondering something. "This morning. He wanted me to stop over and look at something."

I wonder why he called Luke and not me. My heart races. "What was it?"

"Some photos but it was really hard to see."

"Photos of what?"

"The private investigator we hired put up some cameras in the bakery parking lot."

"The ones facing the street, right?"

"That's right."

"He must have seen the black Jeep."

"He did. But the photos are distorted. The only thing I could make out for sure is that two people are sitting in the Jeep."

"Two? If Lorraine is one of them, who's the other person?" Luke remains silent. I can't read his mind. I can't imagine who the second person could be. "Luke, who does Chase think the other person is?" My voice is louder than I intended.

"Brett. He thinks the other person with Lorraine could be Brett."

My heart stops at the sound of his name. "Brett. That's impossible, he's dead."

"Are you sure?"

I'm positive. "Yes, I saw him in the cooler at the morgue. He was white and cold. There's no mistake about it. It was him." My mind races with this news. I know for a fact that it's not Brett, but who would Lorraine be with? If she's here to get Connor, who would be with her? "Do you know for sure it was her you saw in the photo?"

"No, it was too grainy to make out anyone for sure."

"I should assume he's working on making them clearer?"

"He is, but there's no telling how long it will take. I'm hoping they'll be other photos captured at a later date, maybe when the weather wasn't so bad."

"If I didn't see Brett with my own eyes, I might believe that he could come back from the dead. But it's impossible." I can't even entertain the thought that that could happen. "Do you have the photos with you?"

"I don't. I'll call Chase, so he knows to have them with him this evening."

The rest of the afternoon we spend in the yard with Connor and Dale. I work in the flower bed while Luke plays with Connor. My mind races, wondering who could be in the Jeep and wondering where Lorraine is. It's been so long since I saw her at the beach. I expected her to show her face by now. I want to believe she's gone for good, but even I know that isn't probable. But why hasn't she come forward? Why hasn't her attorney contacted us by now? What the hell does she want? Connor. He's the only thing I have that she would be interested in. When I get goose bumps, I stand and look around the perimeter of the yard. I often feel like I'm being watched, but I never see anyone.

Luke sees me, and he also looks around.

"Connor and Dale, get over here," he says.

I watch as they do what Luke says. They were still in the yard when he called them, but I guess he thought they were too far away from us.

"You know, I was thinking about opening up the tree line that separates our properties." I look to the side of the lot where the row of pine trees are. They serve as a border separating the two lots. The trees aren't just there for privacy but more as a boundary.

"I hate to cut down perfectly good trees."

"Not all of them, but maybe a half dozen or so. It might be nice to open up our properties."

"For easier access?"

"Exactly."

"What are you going to do when we're no longer seeing each other? Put up a privacy fence?" I smile although he doesn't find any humor in it.

"I don't see that happening."

Before going to Ava and Chase's house, we drop off Connor and Dale with Daniel and Rachael. I hated to ask them, but I didn't want to risk Connor overhearing our conversation. He's little and he doesn't understand. I never told Connor that he was adopted. When he's older and understands, I'll tell him everything... well, maybe not everything, but what I think he needs to know.

Chase greets us at the door. We walk in and I see Ava, Skylar, and Drew standing in the kitchen. Ava looks worried.

"Hi," I say warmly.

Ava walks over and hugs me. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," I say honestly. It's mostly the truth. "Where's the twins?"

"In bed. They have a strict routine we try to stick to."

Chase wastes no time showing us the distorted photos. "The private investigator is working on getting us better-quality pictures. But this is all we have now."

I pick up the small stack of prints. I can feel everyone looking at me. They've obviously already seen this.

"Chase thinks it might be Brett," Ava says in a shaky voice.

"It's not Brett," I say, shifting through the blurred pictures. I know what she's thinking. She's scared for her life that Brett's alive. "He drowned. I went to the morgue. I saw his lifeless body."

"The pictures aren't clear enough to rule this out." I can hear her voice cracking. "He's dangerous. I think we're being stupid if we don't at least consider it's a possibility."

"I saw him dead. I was the one who went down and identified his body." I set the pictures down on the coffee table. Slowly, I move my eyes around the room to look at everyone. Drew is holding Skylar's hand. Chase is comforting Ava. Her face is red and blotchy. She's remembering her abuse and the miscarriage caused by Brett. "I don't know who's in the Jeep. I do agree it's two people. But it's impossible for it to be Brett." There, I said it.

Skylar speaks up. "Lorraine was also dead but look who's back! Just because someone pronounced him dead doesn't mean..."

I stand from the chair. "Look, it's not him, okay?" I wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans.

"How do you know?" She picks up a photo and looks at it intently. "You can't be positive that this isn't him," Ava says sadly.

Tears fill my eyes as I see the fear on Ava's face. I know her fear. I lived her fear. If Brett was alive, she has a right to be afraid. With a shaky voice I say something I swore to secrecy. I can't let her be afraid for her life or her children's lives. I need to tell them my secret. Closing my eyes with tears streaming down my cheeks, I say, "I killed him, okay. It was me. I did it. That's how I know he's dead and he can never hurt anyone else ever again."
Chapter Six: In the Darkness

Luke

Nichole cries as she covers her eyes with her hands. "I did it. I had to. He wasn't done with Ava and me. He was coming back and this time, there would be no faking our deaths. He wasn't going to stop until we were both dead, and anyone who stood in his way would also die."

Ava rushes over to be with Nichole. I remain stoic. I can't look around the room, and I can't be sure I heard her correctly. It sounded like she just confessed to a murder.

"What are you saying?" Ava asks as she touches Nichol's arm.

Nichole raises her head and wipes away the steady flow of tears. "I'm saying, I snuck into his house where he had been drinking, rendered him unconscious, drug him down the hill to the pier where his boat was, rolled him in it, and then I drove the boat out in the middle of Lake Mayer." She wipes away more tears. "I waited for him to begin to wake up before I dumped him overboard. I backed the boat up so he couldn't reach for it. I knew he was too drunk to swim. I then waited and watched as he screamed for help. I stood up in the boat and removed my hoodie so he could see me. I wanted him to look me in the eyes as he was fighting for his last breath. I wanted him to know that I caused his death. That I was the one to end the nightmare that was my life. I kept the boat idling so no one could hear his drunken cries for help."

Skylar rushes over and holds her hand. Drew, Chase, and I remain seated, taking it all in.

"It wasn't until after he stopped splashing and the bubbles stopped surfacing that I swam to shore and drove home. I stayed in the boat for what felt like hours before I finally left. I had to know he was dead. I had to know he wouldn't hurt Ava and me anymore." She cries uncontrollably. She looks at Ava and says, "When he got out of jail after causing your miscarriage, I knew no restraining order was going to keep him away. He needed to die and I had to do it. If I didn't, he would have tortured us both before killing us. I had to kill him first. It was a matter of time. I knew this. I knew he would be back, I just didn't know when."

"Oh, Nichole." Ava hugs her and they both cry. Skylar also cries at the memory.

I remember reading about the miscarriage when I was researching Brett and Connor Emerson. I look at Chase and his eyes also fill with tears. To lose a child at the hands of another man's intentional beatings is beyond sick.

Now I know why she was so adamant about it not being Brett in the car. She knew there was no way it could have been him.

I can't watch her cry anymore. I can't let her punish herself for something I wish I had done many times over. I prayed, dreamed, and even fantasized about killing my mother's killer. I wanted him dead. I would have gladly spent the rest of my life in prison knowing he's dead, and that I caused it.

Standing, I walk over to her. Not looking around the room at the others, I stand and hug her. Quietly, I whisper that I love her. That I don't hold her responsible, and that she's done nothing that the others and I haven't thought about doing. I'm not even sure she can hear me through her sobs.

My only regret is she confessed to a room full of people. Chase is an attorney; is he obligated to turn her in? If she had told only me, her secret would be kept forever. I wouldn't divulge the truth to anyone. He got what he deserved. He actually got better than he deserved. I don't know how much he suffered, but he didn't suffer enough.

"Come on, Nichole. We need to leave."

She walks with me, looking more broken than anyone I've ever seen. She doesn't ask why we are leaving, she just does as I say. I hope it's out of trust and not out of fear. I will never hurt her.

"Where are you going?" Ava cries.

I stand taller than Nichole, holding her closely, "She's said enough. We need to leave."

Skylar takes a step forward and says, "I'm glad she killed him." Nichole raises her head off my chest. "She did exactly what I was planning to do. The only difference is, she got to him before I could."

Nichole wipes her eyes.

Skylar continues, "It's true. Brett died on a Monday. Drew was home and I couldn't leave the house. But on Tuesday he had plans to meet his dad. On Monday, in my mind, I was planning on killing Brett on the very next day. I had it all worked out in my head." She looks from Ava back to Nichole. "I was done letting him get away with hurting you. When he beat you so badly that you lost the baby, that was it for me. But we found out Brett had drowned before I had a chance to take him out myself."

Drew stands and says, "It's true. We all wanted him dead. Of course, I didn't know about Skylar's plans, but at the same time I was making plans of my own to end his life. I've never seen anyone so broken in my life as I did when Ava miscarried."

I didn't expect this. I can't believe what they are telling me. What they are confessing.

Chase stands and says, "We all wanted Brett dead and I'm no exception. He beat and tormented my wife for the last time. When he killed my unborn baby, that was it for me, too. Something had to be done. I'm a law-abiding man, but even I have my limits." He walks over to his wife and hugs her. "Nichole, you didn't do anything we all wouldn't have all done. The only difference is, you got to Brett first."

Ava says, "Everyone here knew that Brett's death was no accident. I knew someone killed him, and I didn't care who it was. When we learned of his death, we never spoke of it again. He was dead, and we all could finally move on. I was glad someone took care of him for me. I never looked at anyone as a killer. I didn't care who did it; I knew they did it out of love and out of hatred." She pauses before saying, "I shouldn't say this, but I did wonder if my dad killed him."

I didn't expect that.

Chase says, "I thought Skylar killed him."

"I wish I had. I'd have his head on my wall as a trophy."

I cringe at the thought.

Drew says, "Since we're being honest, I personally thought it was Chase. He and Ava lost the most when she miscarried. I've seen this only once, but I saw red in Chase's eyes. I wanted to congratulate him, but I still wasn't a hundred percent sure it was him."

"I could have easily ended his life," Chase says. "Look, if you're worried we're going to go to the police, you're wrong. We know only some of the things that you went through, Nichole. Of course, we don't know everything. But we're your friends; you're family. If you killed him, it's because you had good reason."

Relief washes over me. They understand why she did it. Her secret is safe with them.

"We'll keep your secret and never speak of it again." Ava takes Nichole's hand and says, "You have nothing to worry about. Our nightmare is over. It's done. We'll never say a word to anyone."

Nichole cries. "Thank you."

Nichole

I swore I would never reveal my secret. I have so much to lose. I'm not talking about the bakery, or my car, or even my life. I could easily do life in prison just knowing that Brett can't hurt anyone. That he can never hurt Ava again. I'm talking about little Connor. I can't lose my only grandson. He's the only thing I care about. If something happens to me, I have no idea what would happen to Connor. I have no family. Where would he go? He would be orphaned. I have to believe that when they say they won't tell, they really won't tell.

They know I'm not a killer. They know that I did it because I was looking out for them. Even Drew, who barely knew him, knew he was evil. He saw his evil ways.

"We'll continue this later. I'm going to take her home now."

Luke holds me as we walk to the door. I can't look at anyone. The tears continue to fall. Not from guilt for what I did, but because it's over. It's finally over. It's so hard keeping a secret. It's hard living a lie. When I saw the fear in Ava's face tonight, thinking that Brett was alive and stalking me in the Jeep, I couldn't let her fear for her life, not again. I had to tell her. I had to let them all know that the nightmare with Brett is finally over. Even if it did mean they would turn me in to the police. Even if it meant that Connor would be taken from me.

"I'll call her tomorrow," Ava says, not talking to me but talking to Luke.

I hear Chase say, "I'll be in touch."

"She's a badass," Skylar says. It brings a slight smile to my face, although I'm anything but. "I wish she didn't beat me to it. I really wanted to see that son of a bitch beg for his life."

On the drive to get Connor, Luke and I sit quietly in the car. It just dawned on me that he knows what I've done. He knows I'm a murderer. The others said they wouldn't say anything, but Luke remained quiet. Even if he didn't say anything, maybe now he's questioning this relationship. Maybe he's questioning my sanity.

"We need to talk," I say in a near whisper.

"Not yet, we're almost here." I look out the window and we're pulling into the driveway of Daniel and Rachael's house. "Stay here and I'll get Connor. We'll talk once we get home."

Before I can say anything, he's out of the truck and walking up to the house. I try to imagine my life without Luke in it. I get a pain in my heart thinking this could be a deal breaker for him. Of course this is a deal breaker. Who wants to date a murderer. If he stays with me, he'll have this need to sleep with one eye open. He'll probably go home and look under my pillow for a knife. He may even think I'm a black widow who kills her husbands and her exes.

It saddens me to know this is how it's going to end. He's been amazing. He loved Connor and me even with all of my flaws, he loved us. God, I don't want this to end, but I do understand.

What if he tells law enforcement what I've done? I'll lose Connor. I could deny it. I didn't leave any evidence behind, and they still think it was an accidental drowning. Will they believe me, a battered wife, or will they believe the retired Army-veteran hero? It'll be over. My defense could be battered wife syndrome. That's a real defense, as it should be. There's no way for me to get out of it. I'm a terrible liar. The only way I didn't get caught is because the police never questioned me. They never suspected Brett's death as anything but an accident. Maybe I can reason with Luke. Maybe I can tell him I'll leave the state if he doesn't report me. I hate to lose him, but I hate to lose Connor more.

He buckles a sleeping Connor into his car seat, as Dale rides in the back seat of the four-door truck with him as we drive in silence to the bakery. I have so much I want to say, but I remain silent. This talk will need to be done in private. Connor must never hear this conversation.

We finally pull into the parking lot, Luke gets my door before getting Connor out of the truck. He's always a gentleman. He carries Connor up the stairs and unlocks the door, allowing me to walk in first. I lock up and follow him to Connor's bedroom. As he undresses Connor, I get him a pair of pajamas from the dresser. Once he's changed and tucked into bed, Luke and I walk quietly into our bedroom.

I wait anxiously for him to say something. Anything. When he doesn't talk, I do.

"Look, I know what you're thinking."

He confidently stands against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest. I slowly sit on the bed.

"Do you now?"

"Yes, and I don't blame you."

"What is it that you think I'm thinking, Nichole?"

Does he really want me to say it? Fine, I will. "After what I did to Brett, you think I'm a terrible person. You think I'm a monster." I don't let him say anything. I continue. "I might think the same thing about someone if I didn't know their entire story."

Luke interrupts. "I don't need to know the entire story to form an opinion."

He didn't deny feeling those things I mentioned. I stand up even though we aren't eye to eye. "I don't blame you if you walk out that door and never want to see me again." I don't want him to leave, I do want him to be understanding. I know he'll never understand. How can he? He wasn't there. He didn't see what I barely lived through. He didn't see how broken Ava was. "I need to know whether you are going to the police." Because if he is, I need to get Connor out of here. I can't lose him. I'm all he has. He's all I have. He'll be orphaned without me. I can't let that happen.

"Is that what you think? That I'm going to walk out that door and call 911 to report a murder?"

"Aren't you?"

He takes a slow step forward.

Tilting my head slightly, I maintain eye contact.

"No, that didn't even cross my mind."

"I just confessed to killing a man."

"I know. I was there and I heard everything."

I'm confused. "If you're not leaving and if you're not going to report me to the authorities, then what are you planning on doing?"

"I'm going to shower and go to bed if that's all right with you." I furrow my brow in confusion. "I know why you did what you did. I saw your physical and your emotional scars. I know what he did to you. You told me about the abuse caused by your then-husband and your adult son. I heard what he did to Ava and Chase. I undoubtedly would have done the same thing myself."

"You don't think I'm a monster?"

"I think what you did was stupid."

"What?" I thought he said he understood.

"Many things could have gone wrong. I think you were foolish to take on a man like Brett alone." He tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear. "I hate to think of what would have happened if he wasn't as drunk as you thought, or if his unconscious state didn't last as long as it needed to."

"At the time, I didn't care. I just knew I couldn't let him hurt Ava or myself ever again. He was out on bond and soon all the charges would be dismissed. He knew people. He was a powerful man. He had ways of making things happen. Right or wrong, people did what he asked."

"I'm not questioning that. I'm sure he did. I'm just glad it went as planned and he's no longer able to hurt you, or anyone else for that matter." He lightly touches my cheek, looking into my eyes. "If you don't mind, I'd like to shower and then make love to my incredibly brave girlfriend."

My heart skips a beat at the way he's looking at me. His eyes are filled with love and lust. He kisses me sweetly before he walks into the bathroom, leaving the door partly open. I get ready for bed anticipating a night of passion and love, and Luke doesn't disappoint.

Over the next few days I'm fearful that someone will have a change of heart. Not so much Ava, Chase, and Skylar, but Drew and Luke. They didn't know what Brett was like. They didn't know him.

Yesterday, when Skylar and Drew came over to the bakery, nothing was mentioned about Brett. There was no talk of anything pertaining to my past. They were both talking about their bar business on Tybee Island, the bakery, and Connor's upcoming birthday party. When Luke arrived home, we finalized the birthday plans while Connor napped.

The rest of the week passed with no word about the Jeep or its occupants. The private investigator is still trying to get better image quality, but so far, we haven't heard anything. Luke works hard on clearing the property line that separates our two properties. We're only dating so I'm not sure what he's thinking. If this doesn't work out between us, he'll be forced to install or build a privacy fence, a wall, or plant fully grown trees to separate the properties. Seems like a lot of work for a relationship that's still in the early stages.

On Sunday, it's Connor's birthday. He wakes up excited to be one year older! He shows Luke and me how much he's grown, and much how faster he is now than he was at two years old, just yesterday. I hide my laugh as we watch Connor run around the house, showing us the difference in his speed now that he's a year older. Luke shares in Connor's excitement. Dale runs after him barking playfully.

Luke spends the morning keeping Connor occupied while I put icing on his birthday cake and make food for his party. We decided on a cookout on the farm. Luke and his friend built a corral for the pony rides for the only three children who will be there. It's a small party for just our friends, with the only kids being there are Chase and Ava's twins and of course Connor. He seems to be fine with that. Maybe next year assuming Lorraine is found, Connor will be in school and we can have a bigger party with his classmates. But until then, this is best.

When we transport the food from the bakery to the farm, I meet Luke's friend, Carter Reynolds.

He extends his hand. "You must be Nichole. I've heard so much about you."

Accepting his hand, I say, "It's nice meeting you. I've heard a lot about you as well." I'm lying about hearing a lot about him. I just recently heard from Luke that he even had a friend.

"Good things, I hope."

"Of course."

Carter is tall and almost as good looking as Luke. He's nice and polite. I'm surprised to see he's here alone, then I remember Luke telling me he's getting over a divorce. Suddenly, I wish I had a single friend I could introduce him to.

As the cowboy-themed party progresses, the farm fills with laughter. Just a few people are here, but it's everyone Connor and I love. Even Ava's mom and dad came. When I left Brett, that was the place I ran for help. Marshall was home alone while Claire was in Savannah at the inn with Ava. I'll be forever grateful to Marshall for helping me.

Connor and the twins ride the small ponies, while Ava and I stand nearby. The guys are busy at the grill while the other guests mingle beneath the mossy oak trees. Everyone is dressed up in jeans, cowboy boots, and cowboy hats. I'm not sure whether they dressed up for the theme of the party or if this is their everyday wear. We are on a farm, after all. At least, Luke has plans to start farming soon.

I have to practically pry Connor off of the pony when it's time to eat. Chase comes over to help Ava with their daughters, Jami and Eva.

We have dinner and play a few birthday party games with the kids. I call for Connor to blow out his candles and open his gifts. I search the large yard and I still don't see him. Panic immediately sets in as I search the small crowd gathered in various parts of the yard.

"Connor," I say more sternly and more loudly.

Walking away from the picnic table, I walk down toward the barn where the pony corral is.

"What is it, Nichole?" Luke asks.

"Have you seen Connor?" I continue walking at a faster pace.

"He was just here."

"Where?"

"He was playing ring toss with the twins." I stop and scan the area again. No one is playing the ring toss game. "Has anyone seen Connor?" he yells.

Within minutes, everyone is looking for Connor. My heart drops when I get to the corral and Connor isn't there. How can he just disappear in a yard full of people? Where could he have gone? The gate was closed, and I didn't notice any cars driving to the dead-end road. Would I have noticed a car with all of the activities going on?

"Connor," I yell with more fear in my voice.

"We'll find him, Nichole," several people say.

Tears stream down my eyes when I realize that Connor has been taken. "She took him. Lorraine waited for the right time and she took him on his birthday." I fall to my knees at the thought of never seeing my little boy again. He didn't get to eat his birthday cake, or make a birthday wish. He didn't get to open his gifts. "Oh. My. God. She took him. He's gone," I cry. I lower my head and let the tears flow. If I wasn't broken before, I am now. How can I go on without him? "I can't live without him," I cry through sobs.

I hear others call his name, but he doesn't answer. I look through blurred vision, and I can't make out who is who. The tears fall and my heart breaks. I let him down. He trusted me to protect him and I failed him. He has no memory of anything that happened before I adopted him; he was too young to remember anything and anyone. He has no idea who Lorraine is. She'll be a stranger to him. He'll be afraid of her. He'll want me and I won't be there.

Someone helps me into a standing position. I don't know who. The commotion around me is the only thing I focus on. Connor doesn't reply to the calls of his name. Even the twins try to call out for Connor. I want him to answer. I pray for him to answer. How could I have been so stupid? It's been months since I saw Lorraine down by the beach. This was her plan after I saw her. She would lie in wait until I was comfortable. Until I thought she had given up and moved on. Then she would come out of the shadows and take my son. On his birthday. She's taken my boy on his third birthday.

"I'll find him," I hear Luke say as he walks with me. Where are we going? I don't know. I don't care. I just want my boy home. I just want my son to be found safe.

Suddenly, I remember Dale. Dale never leaves Connor's side. "Where's Dale?"

"What?"

"Dale. He's always with Connor. He wouldn't leave him." Hope fills me and I wipe the tears. "We need to find Dale. Here, Dale," I yell, blinking away the tears. I yell for Dale again. I hear nothing and my heart sinks to the hollow pit of my stomach. Dale always answers when he's called. "Luke, you call him. He'll answer for you."

"C'mon, boy." Nothing. "C'mon, Dale, let's go," he says sternly.

I listen carefully for a bark and I hear nothing. I'm about ready to call the police to report a kidnapping when I remember something.

"Do you have one of those dog trackers on Dale's dog collar?" I know he must have one, he's a smart man. Dale's a valuable animal, but more than that, he's family.

"I do. Hold on, I need to make a call." He fishes out his wallet from his back pocket and slowly walks away from me.

I walk over to where the property line separates our property. The clearing lets me see all the way to the bakery. God, I was really hoping to see Connor and Dale playing in the yard. What I wouldn't do or give to see his smiling face again. How could Lorraine have taken him without us seeing? We had fifteen people here. Someone would have seen her. Someone would have spotted the black Jeep.

I hear people calling for Connor and for Dale in the background. Deciding I need to call the authorities so they can get an Amber alert activated, I head back to the bakery to get my phone out of my purse. I've waited long enough. I've waited too long. I need to admit he's gone and I may never get him back.

Luke

"I'd like to find a location on my dog, please."

I wait briefly while she pulls up another screen.

"What's the tag identification name or number?"

"Corporal Dale."

"I'm sorry, repeat."

Since Dale is a military dog, I thought it was fitting to give him a military rank with his name. I repeat the name for her, not giving any explanation.

"I have a location on your dog, sir. Are you ready for the address?"

On my phone, I pull up the notepad app. On speaker phone, I say, "I am." I start to type the address then I stop as she recites it.

"Are you sure this is where my dog is?"

"Yes, sir. Are you familiar with the location?"

Looking around the farm, I start walking quickly up to the house. "I am, thank you so much."

I search the property as our guests search frantically for Connor. They search the wooded area, the tree line, and I also see Carter walk into the barn. Other than the house, the barn is the only other building on the lot. I scan the area for Nichole.

It isn't until I make it to the front porch that I see Connor sound asleep on the porch swing. Dale is sitting at his feet at attention. Relief washes over me. Connor wasn't taken, he was sleeping. "Hey, boy, why didn't you come when I called you?" I ask Dale while I pick up a sleeping Connor. Dale doesn't bark but walks with me as I carry Connor to find his momma. I kiss his head and whisper a prayer of thanks.

"Look, you found him," Chase calls out.

I see Nichole as she drops her purse and runs up to us.

"Oh. My. God. Thank God you found him," she says as she takes him from my arms. "Where did you find him?"

"He was asleep on the porch swing."

Connor wakes up and rubs his sleepy eyes. The crowd gathers around in excitement. The twins cry although I don't think they understand why.

Nichole hugs him tightly as she cries uncontrollably. I've never been more grateful for having the tracker collar on Dale in my life. I knew it would come in handy if Dale ever ran away or was dognapped, but I never dreamed it could help find a lost child.

"Momma, why are you crying?" Connor asks sadly.

"Momma thought you were lost." She dries her tears. "Why did you wander off?"

"I didn't. You said to stay in the yard."

She smiles a sad smile. "I did, didn't I?" She looks down at Dale and says, "Why didn't you bark when we called you?"

Dale points his ears and tilts his head in confusion.

"Momma, don't be mad at Dale. He never barks when I'm sleeping."

Again, Connor was right. Dale never barks when Connor's sleeping. Dale also never leaves his side. I bend down and pet Dale. "Good boy." He barks and I know he understands.

She sets Connor down, and I can see clearly she's still very shaken. She kneels down and hugs Connor before she hugs and kisses Dale on his furry head and says, "Good boy, remind me to give you a hamburger later."

He barks and wags his tail. "I have no idea how you understood that," she says to Dale, scratching behind his ear. Looking at Connor, she says, "Let's blow out the candles and you can open your gifts." Under her breath she adds, "It's getting late and I've had enough excitement for one day."

Nichole stays close to Connor and Dale stays even closer. He doesn't leave his side. I take pictures as Connor blows out the candles on his birthday cake and makes a wish. He opens his gifts as everyone stands by and watches. I snap photos of our guests, Nichole, and Connor and Dale. Connor will have only one third-birthday party and I never want to forget it. I realized earlier when Connor was missing how much I love him. I knew I loved him, but I don't think I knew how much until the thought of losing him was staring me in the face.

Nichole looks sad. She's not crying, but her face is filled with worry. The fear of losing Connor is still in her eyes.

Everyone helps with the clean up and when they leave, Nichole makes a few hamburgers on the grill.

"If you're hungry, there's still food inside."

"I promised Dale a big juicy burger."

I want to laugh, but I'm a smart man so I don't. She used to preach to me about me not feeding Dale dog food, and about feeding him fast food and almost anything else I would eat. Now look at her making him a burger.

"What does he want on it?" she asks.

Again, I want to laugh, but I don't. "Everything, including the bun. He likes the bun to be put on a grill a little while to soak up some grease."

She doesn't bat an eye as she puts the bun on the grill briefly and then loads up the bun with the hamburger and all Dale's favorite treats. "Onions?"

"He loves them, but it gives him gas." She crinkles up her nose and laugh. "He can do without onions."

"Good, something doesn't seem right about a dog liking onions."

After Dale eats, and everything is put away, we walk the short distance to the bakery. Nichole looks exhausted, and I just want to get her someplace she feels safe. She doesn't need the added anxiety of not being home. I know this is her safe place. I understand that. If I didn't get it before today, it's definitely clear to me now.

After Connor plays with some of his birthday toys, Nichole bathes him and reads him a bedtime story. I run a bubble bath for her, light a few candles around the bathroom, and pour her a glass of red wine. She always showers in the morning, but I think she needs something to help her relax tonight. As much as I try, I don't think I'll ever be able to forget the fear on her face when she thought Connor was taken. Damned if I didn't feel responsible. I would have moved heaven and earth to find him. I would call in as many military favors as needed to find him.

When Nichole takes longer than usual, I step over Dale so I can enter Connor's room. When I finally see them, they are both fast asleep. I kiss Connor and then Nichole before exiting the room. I drain the water, blow out the candles, and drink the wine before turning in for the night. I sleep on the couch and reflect back on the day. I'm surprised when I see a text from Carter.

Carter: What's the deal with what happened today at the kid's birthday party?

I've never really talked to Carter about Nichole.

Luke: She thought he ran off, that's all.

Carter: It looked like to me some baby daddy drama.

Luke: No, Connor's dad passed away a few years ago.

Short and to the point. I need to stop him in his tracks before he says something that'll piss me off.

Carter: I hate to hear that. There seems to be more to that story than you're telling me.

Luke: It's a long story, but it had nothing to do with his father.

Carter: Is everything all right? She was pretty shaken up when I left.

Luke: They're in bed. She'll be better tomorrow.

I hope.

Carter: If you want to talk or if you want my help, I'm never far.

Luke: I know that. Thank you.

Carter: Just make sure you're not in over your head.

And now he's pissing me off.

Luke: Later.

I turn off my phone before he can answer.

I wake up early and start breakfast for everyone. Nichole wakes before Connor.

"It smells so good," she says as she makes her way to the coffee maker.

"How did you sleep?"

"Not so good. Yesterday kept replaying over and over in my head. I really thought he was gone."

Deciding to be honest, I say, "I didn't want to admit it, but it crossed my mind, too."

She lowers her coffee cup from her lips. "I've been thinking maybe it's time for Connor and me to move away."

I turn off the griddle and give her my undivided attention. "Why would you move away?"

"Lorraine's going to find us. It's just a matter of time before she shows up here and demands to get Connor back."

"You can't run."

"Luke, I can't stay."

"Here sit down. Let's talk about this." I take her by the elbow and walk her to the bar stool. Once she's seated, I sit down beside her. "Look at how far you've come. In just a few short years, you've accomplished so much."

She looks around the quaint two-bedroom apartment above the bakery. "None of this matters if I lose Connor."

Suddenly, I get what it means to be a parent. She would walk away from everything to be with and to keep Connor safe. "I'll call Chase and the private investigator today."

"What good will that do? They haven't found her yet, and I doubt they ever will. I think it's time for me to face the facts. Staying here we're just the bull's-eye on a target. If that's her in the Jeep, she already knows where we live." She sighs loudly. "For God's sake, the business is listed in the yellow pages and we have a website, so if she wants to find us, it won't be hard." She wipes a tear away. "Yesterday was a preview of what could happen. Of what could really happen."

I try to picture my life without Nichole and Connor in it. I try to imagine what my life was like before I met them. I didn't know something was missing from my life until I had them in it. "Give me one week."

She wraps her hands around the hot coffee cup. "For what?"

"For me to find her. You're right. It's been too long. I've been waiting for Chase and the private investigator, when I should've been looking for her on my own."

"You don't even know what she looks like."

Should I tell her I've done my own research on her? No, she doesn't need to know that. "Chase has a folder on her. I'm sure there's a photo of her in there."

"Luke, what can you do that they haven't done?"

I don't know yet, but I have to do something. "Just give me a week, and if I can't lure her out of the darkness, then we'll pack up and we'll move anywhere you want."

Nichole

Did I hear him right? He's planning on moving with Connor and me if we can't find Lorraine. I decide to leave that conversation for a later time. "I need to shower before Connor wakes up." I stand and drink the rest of the now lukewarm coffee as I make my way to the kitchen sink.

"So does that mean you'll give me a week?"

How can I say no? This is a man who's willing to move with me and my grandson to some unknown location. "I'll wait, but you need to know something first."

He stands from the barstool and walks over to me. Taking my hand in his, he kisses it. "What's that?"

"That I hope you find her because I really like this place."

He smiles and his eyes crinkle at the corners.

"Me, too. While you shower, I'll finish breakfast before I get to work."

"Oh, are you leaving?" I ask.

"I wasn't planning on it. I can work from home. I just need my computer and a cell phone; you already have a fax machine. If you need something from the store, I could run and get it for you."

Smiling, I say, "No, I was just asking. I'll be done in a few minutes."

As I'm towel drying my hair, I can hear little Connor and Luke talking about taking Dale outside. Dale barks and I swear that dog can understand everything that's being said. Before they come inside, I put on my pressure garment, yoga pants, and a loose long-sleeve tee-shirt. I figured today Connor will want to play with his birthday toys either in the house or on the balcony. After the scare yesterday, I don't feel comfortable straying too far from the house. I feel like I'm a prisoner in my home, and I've felt like this for far too long. I'm ready to move on and get this over with.

Breakfast is delicious and just as I suspected, Connor's eager to play. We spend the morning playing, then Connor and I go down to the bakery to do some baking, while Luke stays upstairs working. I have no idea what he's doing, what he's searching for, or who he's talking to; I just know he's been in the bedroom for a couple hours. Is he onto something? If he is, I don't want to bother him.

It's not so much work for Connor and me as it is relaxing. We both wear our aprons and chef's hats and get to work making dough for rolled-out cookies, pizza crust, and pastry crust for lemon tarts.

The bakery has always been a special place for Connor and me. Even during business hours, it's still a favorite place to us to be. I hope that never changes. I hope we never have to leave a place that we both love. I want Lorraine found, but I fear that she'll want Connor. If she wants Connor and she knows where he is, why hasn't she come forth with custody papers? What's taking her so long? Is she trying to find dirt on me that would suggest I'm an unfit mother? Another fear is if or when Luke finds her, my time with Connor is limited. So many emotions run through my mind.

I stop and watch as Connor cuts out the sugar cookie dough into shapes using the cookie cutters Rachael got him for his birthday. She knows his love for baking. For a second I let myself imagine him and me running the bakery together when he's grown. Or maybe I'll retire and he'll become a pastry chef. He could do that. He can be anything he wants to and no matter what he chooses in life, I will be proud of him.

When I hear someone pull up outside, I peek out the window. I'm happy and surprised to see it's Ava, Chase, and the twins. I open the door to the bakery, and Connor and I greet them warmly. He's covered in flour, but Ava doesn't care. She picks him up and swings him around as she kisses him.

"Sorry to come unannounced."

I look up at Chase, who's holding a manila folder.

"Don't be sorry, you're always welcome." I kiss and hug the twins and tell Chase, "I assume that folder's for Luke."

"It is. He said it was urgent. Is he upstairs?"

"He is, you can go on up." I look at Ava and say, "I was just about to bake some lemon tarts."

"It's like you knew I was coming."

"I was going to have Luke run them over to you later."

"Let me save him a trip," she laughs.

I look down at the twins. "Girls, do you want to help Connor make some cookies?"

They smile excitedly. Ava and I place aprons and hats on them and they become even more excited. Connor teaches them how to roll out the dough and how to use the cookie cutters to make shapes.

"I wanted to come over with Chase to see how you're doing today. You were pretty shaken up yesterday at the party."

"To be honest, I'm a mess."

"I figured."

Lowering my voice, I say, "I'm just ready to find her. I want to know what she wants. Me running into her at the beach that day wasn't just a coincidence."

"You think she wants her son back, don't you?"

"I'm sure of it. I've done research on grandparent custody and visitation, and the courts always try to keep the child in the care of the parents."

"That may be true in some cases, but she abandoned him. She was using drugs while Connor was in her care. Surely, there's an exception to that rule."

I look from Ava to the kids at the small child-sized table. They are laughing and carefree. Connor doesn't have a worry in the world, while I feel like I'm barely keeping it together. "I'd hope so. But what if she's clean and she's in a good position to care for him?"

"She still abandoned him and what if she did it again? I was talking to Chase about it last night, and he doesn't think a judge in Georgia will grant her custody or visitation."

Visitation? I didn't even consider that. Maybe leaving is the only thing for us to do. "I can't lose him. I won't lose him."

"Momma, these are ready to bake," Connor says.

I walk over and take the full cooking sheet from the table and lay an empty one down. "After these bake and cool, you can decorate them with sprinkles and icing."

"Yay, I love sprinkles," Jami claps.

"We have good sprinkles, don't we, Momma?"

"We do, Connor."

After a while, Chase comes down from the apartment. "Luke's taking Dale out, so do you kids want to get some fresh air?" Without saying a word, they stand up and remove their hats and aprons. I look at Chase with worry.

"He said he'll watch them."

"I know he will. It just doesn't stop me from worrying."

"I'm sorry. We'll find her."

I know they will, but when?

Luke

I was glad when Chase rushed me over those files I asked him for. While he was here, we were able to do some brainstorming. We called the P.I. we're working with and discussed a new plan of action. I also suggested to Chase that maybe he should start working on a defense for Nichole in case Lorraine tries to fight her for custody or visitation. There's no way a judge would take Connor away from the only parent he's ever known, is there? I don't want to take any chances that this could end any other way than for Connor's and Nichole's benefit.

With the money I have in savings, I'll gladly use it to hire the best attorney to keep Connor with Nichole. I love that little guy, and I can't stand the thought of losing him either. I also called my Dad, who was with the military for far longer than I was. I figured he knew someone who could help us with the grainy images of the couple in the Jeep.

I sent those to him via fax and now we wait. I don't know why I waited so long to ask him for help. I knew if anyone had any pull, it was him. I guess I didn't want to tell him too much about my personal life. To tell him too much about Nichole and Connor. I should have gone to him in the first place. He has the most access to people who can help us. Many of the guys in the military serving as M.P's or military police have gotten out and started their own successful P.I. or security business. Some retired elite soldiers make big bucks providing security to the rich and famous. Being deployed and stalking the enemy made them experts in their fields. My dad wasn't one to head up his own business, but he is someone they call on frequently for help. He also isn't a criminal, but he knows how criminals think.

Later that night when Connor's sleeping, I wish I had some news to tell Nichole. We don't talk about any of this through the day when Connor could possibly overhear us. It's hard to go about the day and your life as though everything's all right, when it's anything but.

"Did Chase have anything new to say today?"

"I'm afraid not. I did have him bring me a copy of everything that was in the files he was working on."

"You think you can find something he missed?"

"I don't know, but an extra set of eyes can't hurt."

She looks at me sadly, "That's true. Do you want me to take a look at it? Maybe I can help?"

"Do you want to look over the file?"

"No, not really, but if you think it'll help, I will."

I wasn't going to tell her but I decide it might ease her mind. "I called for outside help today."

"You called in the big guns?"

I laugh at her comment. "Who?"

"The soldiers, the big guns. You know, the M.P.'s?"

I see a hint of a smile on her beautiful face. "Yeah, I guess I did."

"Can't go wrong with colonels and generals on our side."

It's not really that high of rank, especially now that Dad is retired, but he's still a bad ass, if I say so myself.

"No, we sure can't."

She yawns and closes her eyes. "I sure hope we hear something soon."

"Me, too, baby. Me, too."

Over the next few days, we don't hear anything. Nichole doesn't ask, but every time the phone rings, she pauses and listens until she realizes it's nothing. I did notice that she's been saving the large boxes she's been getting from her deliveries. She asked for a week and she isn't going to wait any longer than the seven days. I don't blame her. This is no way for her or for little Connor to live. They are both a prisoner within these walls. I wanted to help her, but I failed. I keep telling myself that I'm not giving up on all hope. I still have two days left, but as the days go on, it's looking more grim than the day before.

Early the next morning I get a call from my dad. As I answer it, I walk out of the room in order not to disturb Nichole from her slumber. "Do you have something?"

"I do. But it's not who you think it is."

"How do you know?"

"I'm sending you the images now. You can take a look and judge it for yourself."

"Okay, I was hoping to get answers."

"I hate to disappoint you. If you need me for anything else, let me know."

"I sure will."

I walk into the bakery's small office where the fax machine is and wait for my fax to come through. I'm anxious as I wait. I hear the pitter patter of feet and paws upstairs and I know Connor and Dale are both up.

Picking up the fax I'm disappointed to see that it's in fact not Lorraine. Even if she is wearing a disguise, it's not her. Is it possible the people in the black Jeep are tourists? Or locals just out joy riding? My days are limited and I need to get a plan in order to find Lorraine. I can't tell Nichole that I've failed her. Not just yet. I set the fax down and head back upstairs to take Dale out.

Nichole

Today's Monday and I'm thankful the bakery's closed. Luke hasn't spoken about the photo or if he's found anything new about Lorraine. I have no choice but to assume he's at a crossroads. My biggest fear is she'll snatch him when no one's looking and stay in hiding. She may have given birth to him, but he's still my son. I would rather we fight for him in a court room than have her kidnap him and run off so I'll never see him again. Another fear is she won't be found and I'll be forced to sell the bakery and move away in order to protect Connor. None of these is acceptable and I can't focus on those. Right now my son is being deprived of his childhood. Being confined in or near home is no way to live. I hear laughter coming from outside, and I watch from the window as Connor's running while holding a tennis ball, while Dale chases after him barking. I have to smile because we do try to make the most of it. Connor doesn't look deprived, but then again, he doesn't know what he's missing either.

Today especially, I'm getting antsy being in the house. I quickly shower while Luke and Connor are out in the yard with Dale.

I'm not surprised when they are still out there when I get done dressing. I know Luke isn't one to stay home day after day, and little Connor and I aren't either. Deciding we need to get out and do something fun today, I make a picnic lunch and wear something comfortable.

When I walk outside carrying a picnic basket, Luke and Connor look at me in surprise. "Going somewhere?" Luke asks.

As I slowly walk down the stairs from the balcony, I say, "I thought I'd have a picnic today."

"You going alone?" he teases.

"I will if no one wants to come with me."

"You got enough food in there for everyone?"

Walking to my car, I say, "I may have packed extra, and a little something for Dale."

Dale barks and Connor and Luke come running behind me. Dale follows.

"We still need a blanket, dog toys for Dale, and a cooler of drinks I left on the counter."

"We'll take my truck so Dale won't mess up your car, and I'll be right back with everything you mentioned."

"Get some beach toys for Connor, too," I yell over my head.

"I'm on it."

On the drive to Tybee Island, we stop and get ice cream at the Dairy Queen. This is out of character for us, and it feels good to be spontaneous for once. Not sure what the future holds for Connor and me, I plan to make this day a memorable one for all of us. I'm tired of living in fear. I'm tired of being a prisoner, and I'm really tired of depriving my son of his childhood.

Today will be a good day for all of us, and I'll deal with tomorrow when it comes. One day at a time.

When we get to Tybee Island, I try to not recall seeing the black Jeep the last time I was here, or seeing Lorraine down by the water. I focus on Luke and Connor. We play on the playground, we have lunch by the pier, and we play "fetch" with Dale at the dog park they recently built. Later on, we even sit on the beach while Connor builds a sand castle with a few kids he met while playing.

This is the life. This is what it's all about. Spending quality time with your family, with the ones you love. The entire cost of the day was minimal: The money for gas to get here and the money we spent on the food I made and the ice cream we bought added up to less than $25.00 and we had an amazingly great day.

Before dusk, we pack up and drive home. Connor and Dale sleep, and Luke and I ride home holding hands. "I had a great day," I admit.

"I did, too. It was a nice surprise."

"Thank you. We should start doing something like that every weekend."

"Have you ever gone camping?"

"No, I can't say that I have. Well, not as an adult anyway. I used to go with my mom and dad when I was little. Of course, that was a long time ago."

"I have a small camper if you want to go next weekend. Even if we set it up on the farm, it'll be something like camping, and a safer place for Connor." He turns on to Magnolia Street. "We can do a nature hunt and cook over an open campfire."

"Luke, Connor would love that," I say excitedly.

"What about you? Is that something you'd like to do as well?"

I can't lie. "It would bring back some very fond memories of my childhood. I would like it very much."

"Good, we'll plan for that next weekend."

As we pull into the parking lot of the bakery, Luke's smile fades. I look away from him to see a black Jeep parked in the parking lot. It's just getting dark, but it's light enough to see. My heart races and I try to control my breathing. We had such a great day and now it ends like this. I squint to see inside the tinted windows of the Jeep, but the tint is too dark. I'm more than thankful that Connor is sound asleep in the backseat of the truck. Dale raises his head and watches and listens.

"Stay in the car with Connor." Luke opens his truck door and starts to climb out of it. Dale wastes no time and climbs into the driver seat.

"Luke, let's not confront her. I think we need to call the police."

Standing at the open door, he says, "Let's at least see what they want." They? I forgot there were two people in the photo of the Jeep. I know one person is Lorraine, but who is the other one? "Stay right here, okay?" I nod, unable to speak. Dale jumps out of the truck after Luke.

I watch as he walks over to the Jeep. He doesn't walk to the Jeep's door, but he stands in front of it at a distance. I watch as the doors open and out walks a man and a woman. They look vaguely familiar. I focus on the woman since she's on the passenger side and she's closest to me. Then I see the man. My mind races with who they can be. Can it be possible? It can't be.

My head fills with memories as the tears spill from my eyes. I watch as they both talk to Luke. Dale stands at attention as he stands guard. With shaky hands I open the door and step out of his truck. All eyes are on me. My hands sweat and I stand on shaky legs, holding on to the handle of the truck for support.

Licking my dry lips, I say in a voice I barely recognize as my own, "Mom? Dad?"
Books By Brenda Kennedy

I support Indie Authors. If you read this book, please take the time to go to the purchasing site and give it a review.

Independent authors count on your reviews to get the word out about our books. Thank you for taking the time to read my books and taking the extra time to review them. I appreciate it very much.

Disclaimer: People and places in this book have been used fictitiously and without malice.

The Learning to Live Trilogy

Learning to Live

Learning to Trust... Coming June 6th, 2017

Learning to Love... Coming soon

Other books written by this author include:

The Starting Over Trilogy

Book One: A New Beginning (Free)

Book Two: Saving Angel

Book Three: Destined to Love

The Freedom Trilogy

Book One: Shattered Dreams (Free)

Book Two: Broken Lives

Book Three: Mending Hearts

The Fighting to Survive Trilogy

Round One: A Life Worth Fighting (Free)

Round Two: Against the Odds

Round Three: One Last Fight

The Rose Farm Trilogy

Book One: Forever Country (Free)

Book Two: Country Life

Book Three: Country Love

The Forgotten Trilogy

Book One: Leaving the Past (Free)

Book Two: Living for Today

Book Three: Seeking the Future

Stand-alone books in the "Another Round of Laughter Series" written by Brenda and some of her siblings: Carla Evans, Martha Farmer, Rosa Jones, and David Bruce.

Cupcakes Are Not A Diet Food (Free)

Kids Are Not Always Angels

Aging Is Not for Sissies
Acknowledgements

My husband, Rex: Thank you for supporting me and for coming with me on this ride. Thank you for understanding that although I am in my pajamas, I am indeed working. You are my partner for life, and I love you.

My children: Thank you for reminding me what is important every single day. I love you.

My grandchildren: Thank you for reminding me that I am somebody; I am your grandma and nothing else matters. I love you all.

My sisters and brothers: Thank you for your endless support. I love you.

My brother David: Without you, I wouldn't have been able to publish the first book. Thank you for making my ideas better and for all you do. Editing, proofreading, polishing, formatting, ideas, articles, and research websites. See, I do pay attention. Thank you. Thank you for pushing me until I get it right. Maybe someday I'll learn the right place to put the commas. I love you and I can never thank you enough. I love you. David writes collections of anecdotes such as The Funniest People in Art, and he retells classics in such books as William Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew: A Retelling in Prose. His books can be found for sale on all leading online electronic book sale platforms. The Lassana Bathily and Omid Abbasi stories in my novel come from his collections of good deed stories titled The Kindest People: Be Excellent to Each Other (Volume 3) and The Kindest People: Be Excellent to Each Other (Volume 7). They are used with his permission.

Christina Badder, I hope you know how much I appreciate your hard work and dedication. You are so amazing and I am so glad I found you.

Becki Angle Martin: Thank you for designing this stunning cover. You saw my vision and brought it to life. Thank you. I'm proud to call you family.

Thank you to all of my Beta readers: Heather Ross Cicio, Jessica Means, Amy Sperry, Dove King Bailey, Casey Murphy, Melissa Harvey, Tiffany Ann Hannick, Denise Parsons, Autumn Jones, Lou Ann Mohler, Sherry Gainey, Nicole Nicholasi Gaudioso, Brittani Thomas, Cathy Stotts, Rhiannon Matthias, Anastasia Tucker, and Barb Koch Frey. You are amazing and I couldn't do it without you. I appreciate your honest opinions and reviews, and I love the bond that we have developed. Also, I appreciate that I can trust you and count on you. Thank you for encouraging me to write and for giving me ideas. You never disappoint. I love you guys!

Special thanks to Diana Bryant Peelman on her recommendation of the Airedale Terrier. Such a great military dog.

Thank you to "Brenda's Street Talkers" for sharing my books, making teasers and banners, and for the love and support I receive from you every day. I love you girls.

A very special thank you to author DB Jones for your endless and continuous support. I feel like I've known you my entire life.

To my readers: Thank you for reading and reviewing my books. Thank you to my loyal readers who have followed me from the beginning and to those who are new to me.

For those readers who enjoy a darker, more intense read: My daughter Carleen Jamison has recently published her debut novel, titled Inappropriate Reactions. It is Book One of the Mind Games Series. This book is intended for mature audiences only and is available on all leading platforms. You can follow her on

Smashwords Author's page:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/carleenjamison

Facebook Author's Page: https://www.facebook.com/author.c.jamison?fref=ts

Info for David Bruce, My Brother

Smashwords (Books for Sale, and Free Books)

 http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/bruceb

WordPress Blog

 https://davidbruceblog.wordpress.com
About the Author

Brenda Kennedy, an award-winning and bestselling author, is a true believer of romance. Her stories are based on the relationships that define our lives — compassionate, emotionally gripping, and uplifting novels with true-to-life characters that stay with her readers long after the last page is turned.

Her varied, not always pleasant, background has given her the personal experience to take her readers on an emotional, sometimes heart-wrenching, journey through her stories. Brenda has been a struggling single mom, a survivor of domestic abuse, waitress, corrections officer, hostage negotiator, and corrections nurse. She is also a wife, mom, and grandmother. Even though her life was not always rainbows and butterflies, she is a survivor and believes her struggles have made her the person she is today. Brenda is the author of the award-winning book Forever Country (The Rose Farm Trilogy Book 1). She has been dubbed "The Queen of Cliffhangers" by her adoring readers because books one and two always have a cliffhanger ending. In Brenda's own words, "I write series that end in cliffhangers, because I love them. I always give away the first book in each series so you have nothing to lose by reading it."

Her books have appeared on Publishers Weekly top 25 Best-Sellers list nine times, along with Amazon, iBooks, and Barnes and Noble rankings in the top 100 books in contemporary romance.

She moved to sunny Florida in 2006 and never looked back. She loves freshly squeezed lemonade, crushed ice, teacups, wine glasses, non-franchise restaurants, ice cream cones, boating, picnics, cookouts, throwing parties, lace, white wine, mojitos, strawberry margaritas, white linen tablecloths, fresh flowers, lace, mountains, oceans, and Pinterest. She also loves to read and write and to spend time with her family.

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