Who would win?
Speak your mind in the comment box down below.
An apocalyptic bout of Biblical proportions,
I’m pretty sure that this fictional fight
would herald the end of all life on Earth
as we know it.
We’ve seen it all before.
Cain VS Abel.
Thor VS Loki.
Mufasa VS Scar.
A showdown where more than just victory is
on the line - but the very fabric of family
and fraternity.
Well - hold onto your hats, because we’re
about to find out.
Kind of.
Hello Internet - and welcome back to Life’s
Biggest Questions - the channel where we stick
a load of logic in a wood chipper and see
what comes out the other end.
As always - I’ll be your host Jack Finch
- as we ask the question, What If Logan Paul
Fought Jake Paul?
Before we begin, if you could be so kind as
to hit that subscribe bell down in the corner
- so you can stay up to date for our latest
and greatest uploads.
Love them or hate them, the Paul brothers
are undeniably the proverbial talk of the
town - whether it’s wrapped up in a scandal
or stepping into the ring in a white-collar
boxing bout.
Throughout his career, Logan Paul the elder
has racked up a staggering 21 million subscribers
over his YouTube creative assets - and an
even more impressive 3.5 billion total views.
That’s 66.5 thousand years worth of viewing
time on a ten-minute average video.
What the hell.
Whatever you think about the Maverick, there’s
no denying that he’s an incredibly hard
worker - and an even shrewder PR magnet.
Although he undeniably has millions of loyal
followers, generally - he’s made a career
out of annoying people with his inflammatory
content style - and, well let’s say his
critics are pretty vocal.
Compare this then to Jake Paul - 16 million
subscribers, 4.6 billion total views - 87
thousand years worth of viewing time, may
I add.
Jake Paul launched his teen entertainment
empire under the guise of Team 10 on January
17th 2017 - and since then he’s dabbed on
those haters and set a swimming pool on fire,
or something.
But what would it take for these two Brotherly
Titans of Industry to turn on each other and
step into the ring?
Well - to be honest, these guys would probably
do a great job of marketing the hell out of
a hypothetical bout such as this, so I don’t
really think it would take that much effort
to spring an event like this into fruition.
But come on, we want more manufactured drama
than that, right?
Okay - so let’s say, Greg Paul - the father
of these two blonde despots - has unravelled
the fragile thread of brotherly love and turned
the two Paul brothers against each other.
Greg tells Logan that he’s disowning him
as a son after the fallout of the White Collar
Boxing Bout.
Logan loses to KSI twice.
Jake beats Deji twice.
Hypothetically of course.
Logan lashes out, he’s hurt and reeling
with defeat - he challenges his brother to
a fight to prove his superiority over the
Paul clan - and then the whole circus is back
in town.
Mak’gora.
Lok’tar ogar.
Well - it’s happened before, and it can
happen again.
All it would take is a few perfectly timed
diss-tracks, and then the grounds for divorce
would occur - and we’d be tuning in to another
6 more months of meme-filled press conferences.
And where could an event like this take place?
Well there’s only one location that could
accommodate a titanic fight such as Jake Paul
vs Logan Paul.
It makes up the very fiber of their existence.
Where any social responsibility is shrugged
off by uttering that one simple sentence.
You guessed it.
Ohio.
Forget the Money Fight.
This would be the Corn Fed Fight.
YouTubers from all across the globe would
descend into the Buckeye State.
Ice Poseidon would live stream his way across
the country, all in amazed anticipation of
the fight of the millenium.
Thousands of broke, young souls holding Supreme
bricks would hike their way across the Appalachian
Trail.
Uber would offer transcontinental ride-sharing
fares - as the Logang and Jake Paul Army instagrammed
their way across the nation, a burning swathe
of petty vandalism and minor inconvenience
in their wake.
YouTube Red members would have a week-long
exclusive lead up to the bout on a 24/7 loop.
They’d eat, breathe and sleep the Paul brothers
as they publically made their way into the
lap of mutually assured destruction.
True Geordie would be hosting his alternative
stream from a party on an offshore oil rig,
ignoring Logan Paul’s phone calls with a
‘new number, who dis?’
And then - after all this anticipation - they’d
finally step into the ring - face each other
off, Logan refusing to bump his brothers gloves.
The bell would sound, and the very planet
would hush to a whisper.
Jake would stick on his toes - size his brother
up.
Logan would do the same, drop his shoulder,
shift his weight to his left knee.
Both brothers would throw their first at the
exact same moment - each with their guard
down, despite their extensive combat knowledge,
aiming towards their respective glassjaws.
Their one mutual weakness.
Time would grind to a snail's pace - the camera
would spin 180 - and as both blows landed,
the very fabric of reality would tear apart
- and a space/time anomaly would swallow up
existence itself and save humankind from this
strange - and awful timeline.
Or, Jake would probably win.
Who knows?
Well - let us know who you think would win
in the comment box down below.
If you’ve enjoyed this video, why don’t
you go ahead and give it a thumbs up - or
a thumbs down, because, I completely understand.
As always, you’ve been watching Life’s
Biggest Questions.
I’ve been your host Jack Finch, and until
next time - you take it easy.
