• From embarrassing parenting fails to public
tantrums over fast food, the Planet Dolan
crew re-enact some of the best true stories
from our subreddit about the dumbest things
we’ve seen people do in public. I’m Melissa
– or Dolan’s Brother – and today I’ll
be your narrator.
Number 10 was submitted by RobStarLight Dolan
One day Dolan was taking a stroll through
his neighbourhood. He saw a woman walking
her baby in a stroller. The woman really wanted
a cigarette so she reached into her purse
and was fishing around for the pack as she
walked. While she was doing this, she didn’t
notice that she and the stroller were veering
off the path. In short: she fell, the stroller
fell, and her baby tumbled out and started
to cry.
Dolan thought she’d rush over to help the
poor bub. Instead she picked up her cigarette
pack, lit one, took a few puffs and then casually
made her way over to her screaming baby. Dolan
couldn’t believe it! He raced over and picked
the stroller up. He didn’t say anything,
but the look he gave her said “What the
fuck is wrong with you, lady!?”
Number 9 was submitted by YumiB00 Shima
One day Shima picked up her sister and took
her to get some food from a local fast food
place. They were waiting in line at the drive-through
and saw the lady in front receive her food
and start to drive off. The woman then stopped,
reversed to the window, and screamed, “WHAT
THE HELL IS THIS?” She then started throwing
her food at the poor worker!
The guy apologised for messing up her order
and asked her to calm down, but it was too
late. The woman went nuts. She yelled at him,
jumped out of her car and tried to drag him
out the service window. The manager rushed
out and told her to leave, so, in a final
act of defiance, the woman ripped out their
trash can and made a huge mess. Shima and
her sister were stunned… and they quietly
decided never to come back to this insane
restaurant.
Number 8 was submitted by Jake_2003 Kyle
Every Halloween Kyle and his friends go trick-or-treating
around the neighbourhood, collecting huge
stashes of candy and making themselves totally
sick. One year Kyle thought he’d get more
candy if he expanded his trick-or-treating
route, so he went to some houses in the next
neighbourhood. He went up to a house and rang
the doorbell.
The door opened and Kyle and his friends were
about to shout, “Trick or treat!” – until
they saw what was on the other side of the
door. A creepy teenager was standing there
jacking off with one hand and holding a bowl
of handy in the other. Kyle said, “W-What
the fuck is going on here?” and backed away.
The incident scarred him so badly that he
never went trick or treating again…
Number 7 was submitted by Undertale_Fandom12
Snewpee
One day Snewpee was at the mall with her friends
when they saw a man causing a scene at a nearby
Starbucks. The man was screaming about how
he didn’t get enough chocolate in his order.
Snewpee and her friends couldn’t help but
laugh at how ridiculous he was being. Unfortunately
the guy heard them and shouted, “What in
the HELL are you laughin’ at!?”
His insane overreaction made them laugh even
harder, which pissed the guy off so much that
steam practically came out of his ears. He
took his not-chocolatey-enough frappé and
threw it at Snewpee, completely drenching
her. This got him kicked him out of the mall,
and hopefully sentenced to anger management.
Snewpee had to clean herself with napkins.
She wishes he’d just given her his frappé,
as she would’ve much preferred to drink
it than wear it!
Number 6 was submitted by Pyropelove Pringle
Pringle actually played a large role in the
dumbest thing he’d ever seen. When he got
his driver’s license, his older brother
came over and offered him a spin in his convertible.
Pringle was so happy. He’d always wanted
to drive a car with the roof down. He rushed
outside and found his brother and a bunch
of people in the car waiting. They asked Pringle
to drive them downtown and Pringle said, “Sure!”
– not realising they were up to something.
When they got there Pringle’s brother and
his friends put on some weird costumes. They
jumped out of the car, ran up to some complete
strangers and kicked them in the balls. They
then jumped back in the car, laughing their
asses off, and made Pringle drive away. It
was the most stupid and embarrassing thing
Pringle had ever seen in his whole life.
Number 5 was submitted by edriver28 Doopie
One day when Doopie worked at Subway a customer
ran face first into the glass door. He hit
it so hard that he broke his nose and fell
straight on his butt, all in front of a big
crowd of people. I guess he really wanted
a meatball sub…
The man was getting lunch with his co-workers
and Doopie overheard his boss say he was getting
drug-tested as soon as they got back to the
work. I guess he won’t be getting that promotion…
Number 4 was submitted by Mudkip2312 Hellbent
One day Hellbent was at an arcade with some
friends. He excused himself to use the restroom,
but when he got there he found there was a
huge line. Hellbent got in line and waited
when suddenly a middle-aged man ran towards
the bathroom, dragging this terrified-looking
boy by the wrist. The man shouted, “MAKE
SPACE FOR THE BOY! HE’S ABOUT TO SHIT HIMSELF!”
and started barging people out of the way.
The boy was really embarrassed. But, to be
fair, he looked about ten seconds away from
painting the walls brown. Hellbent just lost
it.
Number 3 was submitted by hellobilbo Emojie
When Emojie was fifteen his mom took him into
town for a day of shopping. After an hour
of driving from store to store, their car
ran out of gas. Emojie and his mother had
to take a bus to the nearest gas station and
then take another one back. They were tired
and cranky when they got to the gas station,
and had wait half an hour to get the bus back
to their car.
When it finally arrived, the doors opened
and they saw a couple stripped naked and having
sex right at the front of the bus. Another
guy was filming them with an expensive-looking
camera. Emojie and his mom were disgusted!
But they’d had such a long day that they
didn’t want to get off and wait for another
bus. So… they put up with it!
But it’s not all bad: a few days later the
people on the bus were arrested for public
indecency.
Number 2 was submitted by AnastukensIncarnate5
Andie
One day Andie and her family were driving
home from a game store. While at a red light,
they saw something that wouldn’t look out
of place in the latest Grand Theft Auto. A
guy in his late forties was having a boxing
match with a payphone. He was circling it,
shouting nonsense at it, and was just clearly
wasted.
Andie’s dad drove before they could see
how it ended and Andie wants to know if the
man defeated his formidable opponent, the
payphone.
Number 1 – What’s the dumbest thing I
saw someone do in public?
I’ve always been worried about driving trucks
or vans under bridges. Crashing into a bridge
because your car is too big is a pretty scary
thought. I’ve had scrapes in carparks and
stuff like that, but I will always remember
watching the top of a truck getting torn off
by a low rail-bridge in Melbourne. It’s
probably made my paranoia worse. This is one
menace of a bridge though. In fact, it’s
got its own facebook page because it destroys
so many trucks.
Huge thanks for the folks over on our Planet
Dolan subreddit for submitting their stories.
We have another question for you: “What's
the dumbest job you've ever had?” Let us
know in the Reddit page linked below and you
might be featured in a future countdown.
