Hey. Oh. Oh, hiiii.
Hi, Steve. Hi. You're great.
Okay, bye. Bye. Bye, Steve. Bye.
Zack. Zack. Zack. Zack.
Zack. Zack, I need-- Zack. Zack.
ZACK! Hi! Hi! Hi, Zack!
-Jess?
-Yeah. Hi. What's up?
-Fuck.
-I need you-- no, I need you to shoot something.
-No, no, no. No more. Jess--
-Don't go away. Don't go away! Come back!
-Jess, get out of my room.
-Hi! Hi! No, I need you to film something for me.
-Is that my camera?
-What is this? Is this a--
[gasps] Is that a dog? Is that a balloon dog?
-No, it's nothing.
-You're sleeping with balloon-- Zack!
-Give me my camera back!
-I need you to film something, I need you to-- FUCK!
-Give it back! Give it back!
[Jurassic Park theme plays]
Hi. My name is Jessica G. Smith and this is my video promoting myself, um,
Hi. My name is Jessica G. Smith and this is my self-promotion video
promoting myself for purposes of to be in Steven Spielberg's next movie,
preferably War Horse 2 but I mean I'm not picky--
ZACK. Don't look at those fucking dogs, Zack.
Perv.
(ZACK) Why-- why do you think you'd be a good fit for a Spielberg movie?
Why do I think I'd be a good fit for a Spielberg movie? Well, you know--
the moneymaker.
-I need it. I need it. I need it.
-Jess, let's do the scene.
I need it. I need it. I need it.
Shh. Shhhh. Shh. I need it. Shh.
(ZACK) So what's your favorite Spielberg movie?
What's my favorite Spielberg movie? Well,
um,
I haven't seen Jaws.
I haven't seen Jurassic Park.
I haven't seen any of the Indiana Jones.
I haven't seen Amistad.
I haven't seen War Horse.
I haven't seen Empire of the Sun.
I haven't seen War Horse... of the Worlds.
What other movies has he made?
(ZACK) Um, Munich?
Oh, right! Munich! No, I haven't seen it.
Viral marketing.
I've seen DreamWorks!
That's not a film.
I thought Rob Schneider was really good in Jaws.
Was Rob Schneider in Jaws?
I have not seen Jaws.
-I can do it! I'm a big girl, I can do it!
-Jess, they were for my birthday.
-Action.
But don't just take it from me.
Take it from the film professionals I have worked with. In film. Professionally.
(HOLLIS) Jessica Smith?
-Yeah.
-Do you know Jessica Smith?
(ZACK) Yeah.
'Cause she owes me, like, four hundred dollars.
Okay, but seriously, Jess, you owe me like four--
-HUNDRED DOLLARS!
-OKAY, CUT! CUT!
Hmm.
(ZACK) Jess, Jess, it's mine.
No, it's mine now.
(BARBARA) Wait a minute, where is the fucking camera?
I don't understand, how do we not have the--
Iggy! We have a whole set full of people, and we have a sad robot,
and you're telling me that no one knows where the fucking camera is?
Are you fucking kidding--
What the fuck do you want?
Oh, thank God, it's Zack. It's Zack with the camera.
Zack, thank you. Bring me-- okay, so you're gonna give me the camera, and we're gonna--
-I need it. I need to--
-What do you mean, you need it?
-I need to ask you a couple questions.
-The fuck? What do you mean?
-About Jess. I'm really sorry, but I--
-Jessica Smith? Jessica fucking--
-You didn't, she isn't, she isn't, like here, is she?
-Heyyyyy, Barbara.
-Oh my God, Jess! Goddammit. Goddammit.
-Hey! Yeah! I live here, you know what I mean?
-Why are you--
-I live here!
-Give me the fucking camera.
-Whoa! Buddy, what's going on?
Don't let her get it, Zack. Don't let her get it.
-Don't let her get it. Don't let her get it.
-I WILL BE A FILMMAKER!
[Barbara screaming]
I need it. I need it. Shh. I need it.
Jessica's really involved in the process, you know?
She's willing to do whatever it takes.
She really takes care of you every step of the way.
Wait, we're talking about her blowjobs, right?
Because she gives spectacular blowjobs.
I mean, best-- best head I've had in days.
GODDAMMIT, WILLIAM.
[screaming]
[Jurassic Park theme plays]
[retching]
[guttural sounds]
[screaming]
Need I say more?
Also, she smells like margarine! And I--
-ZACK, I SAID CUT.
-Jessica!
[claps slate]
[humming Jaws theme]
(ZACK) Jess? Jess?
[humming Jaws theme]
-Jess, could you not use the knife?
[BANG]
[whimpering]
[BANG]
[humming Jurassic Park theme]
You want some? You want some more?
Mmmm. Oh, you wanna feed me? Okay! Mmmm!
Oh, it's so tasty, Steve! Thank you! It's so good!
Mmm. Mmm. Oh, what's that, you wanna try it without the spoon?
OKAY. OM. NOM.
