

### What Are Friends For?

By JC Dixon

What Are Friends For? Copyright © April 2015, JC Dixon.

Published by JC Dixon at Smashwords.

All Rights Reserved.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

Thank you for downloading this eBook. This book remains the copyrighted property of the author. It may not be redistributed to others for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed the book and want to share it with friends, please encourage your friends to download their own copy. Many thanks for your valued support.

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without prior permission from the author or publisher, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

The story is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, etc. are products of the author's imagination or used in a fictional manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or to non-fictional events, is purely coincidental.

First edition, 2015.

ISBN 978-0-9931139-6-3

# Dedication

For Jamie. I'm so glad I got this one finished for you and I'm still really chuffed that you enjoyed it so much. I promise you now, I **will** finish the others. Even if none of your friends ever get to read them. For Ric. I share your pain but I know that doesn't help very much. Don't go too far away, okay?

To my beautiful boys, I wish you an eternity wrapped in each other's arms. It **will** happen, I'm sure of it. May the gods watch over you both and keep you both safe. Love you.

# Preface

Nick and Chris had been friends forever, it seemed. In fact, they had been the closest of friends since they met at college, almost ten years ago. And while Chris was gay and Nick was straight, that was totally irrelevant to their friendship. They had been there for each other through thick and thin, depending on each other through the bad times as well as the good.

What would it take to break that friendship?

~~~~

I started to post this story to a well-known reading and writing website, a chapter at a time, in September 2014. It was interesting to write a story from a 'straight' point of view. I hadn't done that before.

Thank you to the many people who read it and provided feedback.

JC Dixon, April 2015

# Chapter 1

The buzzing on the nightstand roused me from a rather pleasant dream and so it took me a while to fully come around and reach for my phone. I didn't even bother to look at the name of the caller. I just slid my finger across the screen and clutched the device to my ear, the last remnants of my dream fading into my subconscious.

I croaked a 'Hello' just as the person on the other end began to speak.

"Can you come round? I really need to talk to you."

I pulled myself up in bed and peered at the clock. _Great!_ Six forty five. Just what I needed. I cleared my throat. "What's up, Chris?" I asked.

"I just need to talk to someone before I commit murder or something worse," replied Chris.

_What could be worse than murder?_ I shook my head to clear my thoughts and I reached for the glass of water on my nightstand. I took a sip before speaking again. "So talk," I said. I fluffed up my pillows behind me, preparing to make myself comfortable.

"Can't you stop by on your way in to work?" my friend asked.

I closed my eyes. "What day is it, Chris?" There was a pause on the other end of the line.

"Oh, shit. I'm sorry Nick. It's Friday, isn't it? You're not working today, are you?"

No, I wasn't working today and my plan to sleep in until at least ten am had just gone up in smoke. "I'll be there in an hour," I told him after chewing my cheek and thinking it over. "But you owe me," I added, a little unnecessarily. Chris' voice sounded strained so whatever was bothering him was probably serious. He wasn't one to create drama.

"Thanks, man. I appreciate it," replied Chris. "I'll see you soon, okay?" I nodded for some reason and he ended the call.

~~~~

I rapped on the door to my friend's apartment and it swung inwards almost immediately. Chris must have been hovering behind it or something. That thought soon left my head as I caught my first glimpse inside the apartment. The place was a mess.

"Jeez, Chris, what happened?" I asked as I stepped inside, looking around at the chaos. "Have you been robbed?" The place looked as though it had been ransacked.

"That was me," he mumbled as he closed the door behind me and turned away. He headed towards the kitchen of his open plan apartment and I began to follow him, carefully stepping over the shards of broken pottery and other debris that tried to obscure the carpet. _He had done this?_ I frowned at his retreating form, confused.

I couldn't remember the last time I had seen Chris lose his temper. We had been friends for almost ten years, pretty much ever since we met at college and he was easily the most laid back of all my friends. Whatever had caused him to flip like this, it was serious.

When I reached the kitchen, he was leaning his weight on his arms on the counter, with his back to me, staring through the window as if he had forgotten I was there. I waited behind him in silence until a thought occurred to me. I glanced around what I could see of the apartment.

"Where's Stephen?" I asked.

Chris dropped his head. Then I saw him take a deep breath before he turned around to face me. My stomach sank as I realised he was seconds away from crying. He pushed his hands through his hair and I wished I had kept my mouth shut. This wasn't good.

I was no good with tears. Not even with my sister and she cries a lot. I wouldn't know what to do if Chris started to cry. I held my breath for a moment.

"He's gone," Chris replied. He took another deep breath and stared at the floor.

"He left you?" I asked, tentatively.

"I fucking kicked him out!" He looked up again and this time his eyes held fury. Oh, me and my big mouth! But now it was obvious why I was here. Not to clean up the place, although I might have to do that for him, later. But to hear what had happened and possibly offer a shoulder to cry on. I sighed and looked around the apartment again.

"Shall we sit somewhere and you can tell me what's going on?" I asked, turning back to face him. He nodded and pushed himself away from the counter. I followed him to the couch, carefully picking my way through the broken ornaments and photo frames strewn in our path. Maybe they had had a fight. One that had become pretty physical by the look of things. I didn't know. But I guessed I shouldn't be jumping to conclusions at this point.

Chris threw himself down in the corner of the large leather couch and I took a seat a few feet away from him. I waited for him to speak. He stared towards the window for a few moments and then ran his hands through his hair again, leaving tufts sticking up. Then he sat forward and rested his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands together. I was becoming impatient for him to start.

"So, last night," he said. I sat back a little. "Stephen and I went to bed and we started to get a little frisky." I started to put up my hand to stop him. "No, listen," he said, sounding exasperated with me already. I nodded for him to continue but I looked down at my lap. "So we're getting heavily into it and then he suddenly stops, reaches into his nightstand and offers me a condom!"

There was a pause, then a heavy sigh and so I had to look at him. Chris was looking back at me as if what he was trying to convey was obvious. It wasn't. Not to me. I hadn't ever been very interested in my friend's bedroom antics. I didn't have a problem with him being gay - of course not - but I'm straight. So I had never been altogether comfortable with conversations like this. And he knew that. Therefore, whatever he was trying to tell me was important but the meaning was lost on me.

I shrugged and shook my head at him.

"Nick!" He was definitely exasperated with me now. "For fuck's sake, he offered me a condom! We haven't used condoms in nearly four years!"

Oh. _Oh!_

# Chapter 2

I vacuumed up the final pieces of broken ornament, pulled the plug from the socket and started to wind up the cable. As I hooked the cable back on the cleaner, I looked up at Chris, who was standing with his back to me, staring out the window at the view his apartment afforded. It was a nice view, I admit. This was one of the most expensive apartment blocks in the city and I knew that Chris and Stephen had saved for a couple of years so they could afford this place. But Chris had been staring through that glass for some time now, and somehow I didn't think he was seeing much of that view.

I pushed the cleaner into the cupboard in the kitchen and checked the time. It was a little early to take Chris for a beer although I knew that was what he wanted. Maybe a coffee would work. I moved to stand next to him.

"Wanna get out of here?" I asked.

He turned his head towards me. His eyes were red rimmed and still pretty watery looking. I hated seeing him like this. And I hated knowing Stephen was the cause of this. Because Stephen is my cousin. And I introduced them to each other.

~~~~

I paid for our coffees and turned towards the table that Chris had seated himself at. He was staring out the window again. I know he called me over, but I wasn't sure how much use I was to him. He had hardly said anything since those first few explosive sentences. He had cried after that and I had tried to think of something comforting or reassuring to say but I'm not good in situations like this.

So I had let him cry and I had started to clean up the mess in his apartment, feeling awkward and pretty useless as a friend. He hadn't explained anything further, which I was kind of thankful for in a way, but I knew that he needed to talk. And judging by his continued silence on the walk over to the coffee shop, I guess he needed to be prompted to talk. I wasn't looking forward to this. I was pretty sure I was going to say the wrong thing. I'm good at that.

I pushed his cappuccino in front of him and took the chair opposite. Chris didn't acknowledge my presence. I chewed the inside of my cheek as I thought of what to say to start the ball rolling.

"So, what does this mean?" I asked. What I had really meant to ask was 'Is this the end of your relationship?' or 'Are you gonna talk to him?' but it didn't come out like that.

"It means I need to get tested," he replied irritably. He turned to face me finally and his eyes betrayed his emotions. Anger and sadness in equal measure. _Crap!_ I didn't know what to say. I knew I wasn't going to be any use to him. Surely he would have been better served by talking to one of his gay friends. What could I say? I looked away, unable to hold his gaze and I could feel my face flushing.

Chris snorted a laugh. "I'm making you uncomfortable again, aren't I?" he asked. I shrugged half-heartedly and made myself face him. He wasn't amused. Far from it. I racked my brain for something to say that would help the situation but I'd gone blank. "You don't have a clue, do you?" he asked me. I opened my mouth to speak but he cut me off. "When was the last time you got tested?" That gave me pause. I shook my head.

"I haven't," I admitted, suddenly feeling rather pathetic. He huffed, shook his head at me and turned back to the window. "I haven't needed to," I added. "I mean..." I trailed off as his head swung around and he stared at me pointedly. Yep, that was definitely the wrong thing to say.

"You haven't needed to?" His tone was incredulous. "It's not like you've never had sex," he stated. "I've heard you, for one thing. You're not exactly quiet, are you?" Before I could respond to that he continued. "Don't tell me that my closest friend is one of those idiots who thinks it's not his concern because he's _hetero!_ " That final word contained such venom that I was floored by it. I couldn't think of a reply. Instead, I reached for my latte and took a sip. It was going cold.

He was right though. I was an idiot. As soon as I had opened my mouth to tell him I'd never been tested, I realised how stupid that sounded. Here I was, nearly twenty eight years old, having slept with dozens of women and I hadn't once considered it necessary to do that. I set my cup down and cleared my throat. "When are you going?" I asked.

"To get tested?" he asked. I nodded. "Tomorrow, probably."

"I'll come with you," I said.

Chris chuckled. "I don't need your moral support, mate. I've done it before, you know? Plenty of times."

"That's not..." I shook my head at him. "That's not what I meant. I'll get tested too," I offered. As soon as I'd said it I realised I didn't have a clue what it entailed. Was it a blood test? How long did it take? How do you get the results? Then I went cold. What if the results were...? I didn't want to finish that thought. My expression must have given away what I was thinking because Chris reached across the table and squeezed my arm.

"Thanks," he said. "If you really mean it, I'd like you to come with me. But you don't have to do it too." That's what he said, but his facial expression was telling me he thought I should take the test. Or tests. Whatever. However many tests there were. I didn't know. I suddenly felt inadequate and ignorant. But I didn't want to ask Chris to spell it all out to me. I decided I had some Googling to do when I got home. I also decided to steer the conversation away from this particular topic. But how?

"Do you wanna talk about Stephen?" I blurted. Chris burst out laughing.

~~~~

I finished my chores around my apartment, grabbed a beer from my fridge and took a seat in front of my computer. It was time to educate myself a little.

I had spent a couple of hours in the coffee shop with Chris but I hadn't broached the subject of HIV testing again, partly because I didn't want to expose my own ignorance, partly because I didn't want to find a reason to talk myself out of accompanying him for the test. Instead, I had let him tell me about his relationship with my cousin, about his anger, sadness and disappointment, about his suspicions and about how he had kicked Stephen out last night and then proceeded to trash his own apartment in a furious rage.

Chris had taken every item that Stephen had ever bought for him and broken it. He had flung photos of the two of them around the apartment and he had smashed every ornament that had meant anything to my cousin. My friend had laughed gleefully as he described to me how he had emptied out his boyfriend's underwear drawer onto the bed and taken some scissors to each set of boxers and briefs, cutting a hole in the crotch area. Even I had laughed at that. He had then told me how he'd packed all of Stephen's clothes into three suitcases, including the mutilated underwear, before shoving the suitcases under the bed, out of sight. After all that, he had fallen into a restless sleep that had lasted for all of two hours before he'd sat in his living room, brooding and watching the clock until he had thought it was safe to call me.

So my Friday off hadn't worked out quite how I had imagined it but I had caught up on the things I had planned to do around the apartment and I felt as if I had managed to be there for my friend, despite the fact that it was my cousin he had been slagging off. In fact, the more I had thought about that, the more I had wanted to track down Stephen myself and strangle him. He had just thrown away a five year relationship with my best mate. The tosser!

Taking a slurp of my beer, I opened the browser and stared at the screen for a moment. What should I type? Should I do it through Google or should I go straight to Wikipedia? Or somewhere else? Should I open a TOR session first? Maybe I was being a little paranoid there, but there was no way of knowing these days just what the government was tracking with regards to my online activities. Did I want the government knowing - or anyone else for that matter - that I was researching HIV?

Did it matter? Of course it didn't. I berated myself for being stupid and typed 'HIV test' into Google. Two and a half million results were offered to me in 0.33 seconds. Good old Google! I clicked on the second link and began to read.

It seemed simple enough. A blood test, the results of which were usually available within two weeks. But if I was in a hurry, I could go for a finger-prick or saliva test that could provide results in fifteen minutes. I could even buy home-testing kits, it seemed. That was something else I didn't know about. I wondered which option Chris was thinking of.

I scanned the rest of the page and then went back to Google and clicked on a few more links. They all told me roughly the same thing. It was all very sobering reading, I realised to my dismay. It had been a few months since I'd had a girlfriend, or even been laid, but if I was infected...

_Shit!_ I closed the browser and brought the beer to my lips, downing most of the bottle in a few great gulps. Why hadn't I ever thought of this seriously before? I wasn't fucking _immune!_

# Chapter 3

Saturday morning, after a restless night possibly caused by consuming too much alcohol but more likely caused by my own brain not shutting down properly, I sent a message to Chris.

Nick: What time r we meeting?

A few minutes passed before I received a response.

Chris: Noon? I'll come to yours

I replied quickly after checking the time.

Nick: Noon? Why so late? Can't we go earlier?

Chris: What's the rush?

He had a point. But I was restless and getting myself worked up. I don't even know _why_ I was getting worked up. Before yesterday, none of this had ever bothered me in the slightest. Before yesterday I was blissfully ignorant. I had slept with my first girl at age fourteen. She had been sixteen. So I had been having sex for almost half my life. I wondered how long Chris had been sexually active. I couldn't ever recall a conversation that had covered that topic. Maybe we had spoken about it, back in our college days, but I didn't remember. Whatever, it was likely that he had been the more responsible adult.

I texted him back.

Nick: Kay, noon it is

I checked the time again and then threw my phone on the couch beside me. Three hours. What was I going to do with myself in the meantime? I reached for the television remote, switched to the AUX channel and picked up my PlayStation controller. The only way to distract myself was to kill a few enemy combatants.

~~~~

The apartment intercom buzzed and I jumped, startled by the noise. That split second of distraction allowed the Alsatian dog I had been fending off to go for my throat and kill me. _Fuck!_ I would have to do that whole level again. I threw the controller down in a huff and made my way over to the intercom.

Chris was standing there, staring up into the camera. I pressed the button to talk. "I'll be right down. I'm leaving now," I said and then went to retrieve my phone from the couch where I'd left it earlier. I turned off the TV and grabbed my jacket as I opened the front door and headed for the stairs, the apartment door closing behind me with a thunk.

~~~~

As I stepped out onto the pavement I noticed that Chris was chewing his thumbnail. He dropped his hand to his side as he saw me approach. "You look terrible," he remarked. "Were you out last night?"

I shook my head. "Nope, I stayed home," I told him. "But I did have a few beers."

It was his turn to shake his head. "Drinking alone. Tut, tut." Then he grinned. "I did the same thing."

I chuckled at that. We should have been drinking together. "How did you sleep?" I asked as we began to walk in the direction of the clinic. "How are you feeling?"

Chris shrugged. "Okay, I guess. Still pissed off and upset but no worse than yesterday." I felt him looking sidelong at me. "How are you feeling?"

I thought about that before answering. "Nervous," I finally responded.

"You're not scared of needles, are you?" he asked me. "I'm pretty sure I would have known something like that about you. I mean, I know you're scared of clowns."

I looked at him in amazement. "When did I tell you that?"

I couldn't remember ever mentioning that, although it was true enough. They terrified me. Always had. One of my aunts had bought me some stupid clown doll when I was five and my mother had sat it on a chair in my bedroom. For months, I couldn't sleep properly with that thing in the room with me. It had scared the crap out of me. I had even wet the bed a couple of times, because I had been too afraid to walk past the thing, in the middle of the night, to go to the bathroom. Finally, I had plucked up the courage to touch it and I had stuffed it in the bottom of my wardrobe. My mother hadn't said a word about its disappearance. Not until I was sixteen, anyway, when she had brought it up while we were watching something vaguely clown-related on TV. Of course, she had found it in the wardrobe. She told me that she had removed it from my wardrobe and given it to the child of a neighbour, and that child had loved it the way I wasn't able to. She had then admitted that clowns scared her half to death too. So maybe it was hereditary.

"One night when we got drunk," Chris said, rousing me from my thoughts. "I told you all my fears and you told me yours. You didn't say anything about needles."

Oh yeah, _that's_ what we were talking about. "No, I'm not scared of needles," I responded.

"Oh," he said.

We lapsed into silence as we continued towards the clinic, because I didn't feel like explaining why I was nervous - and he could probably work that out for himself anyway. I thought about my mother again and then my thoughts drifted on to other members of my family. Particularly my cousin, Stephen. What on earth had _he_ been up to?

I hadn't actually asked Chris outright if he thought Stephen had been sleeping around, but that's the conclusion I had drawn - as had he, evidently. Chris had voiced suspicions. But he had no evidence, not really. Someone offering you a condom before sex... I would expect that. Insist on it, even. But Chris had said they didn't use them. And the fact that his immediate thought was to get tested also spoke volumes. The thing is, that wouldn't have been the first thing I'd have thought of if I had suspected a girlfriend of cheating on me, but Chris and I lived different lifestyles.

And then a thought struck me. _I'm_ the promiscuous one. He had been in a relationship with the same guy for five years. In that time, I'd had - I don't know - maybe twelve women? Perhaps fifteen? _Shit!_

A hand on my arm pulled me out of my own head. "We're here," Chris said and I stopped walking. He was right. I hadn't even noticed how far we'd come. I had planned to take this opportunity to ask him what kind of test we were going for. The quick one or the one that got sent off to the lab. Now we were here, I stared dumbly at the building. It was one of those modern, all glass and steel affairs. I could see the reception and the waiting area from where I stood. Oh, _fantastic!_ There was no privacy whatsoever. Anyone walking by could see inside. See who was in there, waiting to get tested. "You've changed your mind, haven't you?" Chris said, his voice betraying his disappointment in me.

"No," I replied immediately. I gestured at the building in front of us. "It's not very private, though, is it?"

"But it doesn't have a big sign hanging over the door, saying 'Come and get your AIDS test here'," he mocked.

"It's not an AIDS test. It's an HIV test," I replied quietly, my eyes still on the vast expanse of glass.

"Oh, so you _have_ been reading up on the subject?" He chuckled and nudged my shoulder. "Come on. They test for all kinds of things in here. Nobody needs to know why we're here." He headed for the door. I took a deep breath and followed.

The receptionist looked up and smiled as we approached her. "How can I help?" she asked brightly.

Chris spoke for us both. "Hi, my name is Chris Palmer and this is my friend, Nick Katsaros. I called this morning about HIV tests." I cringed but tried not to show it.

The receptionist scanned her computer screen. "Yes, Mr Palmer, you're expected," she said. "If you and your _friend_ would take a seat, you will be called in very soon." She grinned at me. I didn't like the way she had placed emphasis on the word 'friend' and I didn't return her smile. She thinks I'm queer. _Excellent!_ Could the ground swallow me up now, please?

But of course, it didn't. I turned away from the counter and tried to decide which seat appeared to be the most hidden from view. None of them. That was my conclusion. I trudged over to one and flopped down into it. Chris came over and sat next to me with a sigh. "I have a confession to make," he said quietly. I turned to him. "I don't like coming here on my own," he continued. He wasn't looking at me. He was staring out the window. "They judge you. They don't say anything but they always look like they're judging you. At least if I'm here with someone, they draw a different conclusion." He finally turned to look at me. "She assumed we were a couple. I'm sorry if that made you uncomfortable, but that's secretly what I was hoping for."

I let my brain process that for a moment. "You mean, if you come here alone, she assumes that you're a slut, but if you come in with someone else, she thinks you're being responsible?"

He nodded. "That's exactly it," he confirmed. I shook my head, pretty horrified. That was terrible!

"In that case, I'll come with you every time in future," I suggested.

"Really? You would do that?"

"Of course," I replied. "What are friends for?"

"Mr Palmer," a male voice interjected. We both looked up. "Will you come with me please?" Chris turned to me and winked then he got up and followed the guy in the white coat. I watched them disappear around a corner before turning to stare out the window. Suddenly I didn't give a shit whether anyone saw me in here or not.

# Chapter 4

I fished my keys out of my pocket as I reached the familiar front door. Letting myself in, the first person I spied was my father, sitting in his usual armchair and reading a newspaper. "Hey Pop, how's it going?" I asked as I closed the door behind me.

«Καλημέρα Νικόλαος» my father responded. «Θα έρθεις στην εκκλησία;»

I shook my head but I realised he still had his nose stuck in the newspaper. "No thanks." I looked at the clock over the fireplace. "But I assumed you would have been to church already."

«Περιμέναμε για εσάς» he replied without looking up.

I sighed. Thanks Pop. Try to make me feel guilty, why don't you? " _Why_ did you wait for me?" I asked. "When was the last time I went to church with you? When do I _ever_ go to church with you?"

"I know," my father replied, finally lifting his eyes from the newspaper and fixing me with a stare. "You need to go to church more." He folded his newspaper and set it aside. «Ελένη δεν θα πάει».

My mother shouted from the kitchen. "I _told_ you he wouldn't go with us. I don't know why you made us wait." She appeared in the doorway, wiping her hands on a towel. "Niko, lovely to see you. How are you?" She grinned and spread her arms wide so I moved to envelop her in a hug. For a small woman she had some strength. She damn near squeezed all the air out of my lungs. I pulled back so I could breathe again.

"Where is everyone?" I asked. It was unusual for me to be the first to arrive for our monthly family reunion. My father grunted and squeezed past us, heading for the stairs.

"Oh, Stephanos and Sophie are running late," my mother told me. "Something about the car. They called to say they will be here before we eat." Stephanos is my eldest brother and Sophie is his wife. My mother turned back towards the kitchen. "Come; let me put you to work if you're not going to church with us."

"Isn't Toni here yet?" I asked. Antonios is my other brother. He's a year older than me. My mother shook her head.

"I'm sure he will be here before we return from prayers," she stated.

I followed her to the kitchen. "What about Thea?" I asked. "Isn't she coming?" I couldn't work out why nobody was here yet. I always try to arrive _after_ everyone else.

"She will be here," replied my mother. "Your sister hasn't called to say she won't be." She waved towards a chopping board and knife. "Wash your hands and then you can chop up the vegetables. After that, you can prepare them for the oven and then whip some cream for me." Removing her apron, my mother moved back to the doorway. "Keep checking the lamb for me while we're out." I nodded at her and she disappeared down the hallway.

I looked around the kitchen and sighed. There was a small mountain of vegetables to prepare and everyone else had cleverly avoided being here in time to help, it seemed.

~~~~

While most of the family lay sprawled on the couches, chatting idly and recovering from the huge Sunday meal my mother and I had prepared, I surreptitiously pulled my phone from my pocket and sent a message to Chris.

Nick: Rescue me! I'm stuck here with my family :(

Five minutes later, my phone rang loudly. I pulled it from my pocket again, relieved to see Chris' name on the screen and answered it. "Hey, what's up?" I asked.

"I'm heading over to _O'Shea's_ ," Chris replied. "Care to join me?"

"Oh, right," I replied, conscious of my family eavesdropping. "You mean now?"

Chris chuckled then said, "They're listening, aren't they?"

"Um, yes. Okay, I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Of course you will." Chris laughed again then hung up. I looked up to see everyone watching me.

"Ah, sorry," I said in my most apologetic voice. "I have to go." I stood and made my way to the doorway. Toni was right on my heels as I ducked into the kitchen to say goodbye to my mother.

"Nicely done, little brother," he whispered behind me. I tried to keep a straight face as I made my apologies to my mother and kissed her cheek before heading for the front door.

~~~~

_O'Shea's_ was our local Irish bar. It served a really good pint of Guinness but after the meal I had eaten earlier, I couldn't face that. Fortunately, _O'Shea's_ also had a very nice selection of beers from around the world and Chris had already ordered me something by the time I arrived. He was sitting at the bar, the bottles of beer already lined up in front of him. I noted one of them was nearly empty.

"How long have you been here?" I asked as I dragged a bar stool next to him.

"Just got here," Chris replied with a shrug and pushed a bottle my way.

"Thanks," I acknowledged. I picked it up as I took my seat.

"How's the family?" he asked.

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and replied. "Same as usual. Noisy and nosey. A little too much, all in one big dose." Chris chuckled. "My father tried to get me to go to church with them for some reason."

"Maybe he thinks you need to be saved," Chris replied nonchalantly. I chuckled at that. He was probably right.

We lapsed into silence after that and it occurred to me that I didn't know what to talk about. The silence dragged on a little, making me feel uncomfortable. I played with the label on my bottle, picking at the corner and trying to peel it off.

We hadn't talked about yesterday. We had gone our separate ways as soon as we had left the clinic. I hadn't even asked him which test he had gone for and he hadn't asked me. So I didn't know whether he had his results or not. I didn't have mine.

The physician had talked me out of the fifteen minute test and then he had sent me to the phlebotomist. So I had a week or two to wait for the results.

I thought his reasoning had been sound at the time. He had asked me which test I wanted and I had told him I wanted the rapid test. He had questioned me about my sexual history and had seemed surprised when I admitted I had never been tested before. Then he had asked me a question.

"If I test you and tell you the result right now, are you prepared for the consequences?"

I had frowned at him.

"If you're HIV positive, are you prepared for that?"

Of course I wasn't prepared! I hadn't ever thought about this shit before. I had shaken my head at him, feeling a little sick, as I recall. He had nodded and smiled.

"You need time to think about it," he had said. "To prepare yourself." He was really scaring me by this time. "You don't need the rapid test. Take the time between now and when the results are returned to get educated and prepared."

I had felt like such an irresponsible child when he'd said that. I had agreed with him and he had supplied me with all kinds of reading material, the names of a few websites and support helplines - and a box of condoms! And then the phlebotomist had taken my blood. I had been in a bit of a daze when I had returned to the waiting room and Chris had smiled at me knowingly before we'd left the place. We had split up after that, neither of us really wanting to talk about it.

_Do I need to be saved?_ Maybe I _should_ have gone to church with my parents after all.

# Chapter 5

"Would you like another?" I asked. I stood and moved around the table, ready to head back over to the bar. Chris nodded up at me absently.

I picked up the empty bottles and took them with me. I had suggested moving to a table around fifteen minutes ago, just for something to say, really. It was so strange. I had never been lost for words with Chris. We had been good friends for years and we had always had something to talk about. Whether it was something that had happened at work, what we had done the previous night, what we were planning to do the following weekend. There had always been something to say.

We had been perfectly comfortable in each other's company for what seemed like forever. As I waited for the barman to bring me my change, I wondered what had altered that. Was it my fault? Was I the one being hesitant for some reason? Was I creating this atmosphere?

I decided I had to put a stop to it. As I took my seat again and put the beers on the table I tried to think of the right thing to say. In the end I just said what was on my mind. "Look, I'm sorry Chris, but I don't know what's going on," I said. "I'm feeling an uncomfortable atmosphere and I don't know if it's me or if it's you but I can't stand it anymore."

Chris sighed and offered me a half grin. "Yeah," he replied. "The last half hour has been hell." He sat forward in his seat and leaned on the table. "I thought maybe you were pissed off with me."

I frowned at him. "Why would I be pissed off with you?"

"Because I kicked your cousin out," he said, in a tone that suggested that his explanation should have been obvious to me.

"But he cheated on you! Didn't he?" I thought that was the whole point of the last two days. "I would have kicked him out too."

"But he's your _cousin_ ," Chris stressed again. "I thought you were mad at me because you introduced us."

I shook my head. "No, I'm mad at him, not you," I replied. "He's an idiot if he did what you think he did." I considered that for a moment. "Have you spoken to him, since, well, you know...?"

"Nope," my friend said, shaking his head. "And he hasn't tried to get in touch with me either, which says a lot."

I shook my head too. "Told you he was an idiot!" I sighed. "Chris, I'm sorry. I'm sorry he's such a dick and I'm sorry he's hurt you."

Chris just shrugged and picked up his beer. And that gesture suddenly made me realise that he didn't seem to be as upset as I might have expected, after a five year relationship had just fallen apart. So, not being one to mince my words, I asked, "Was everything alright before Friday?"

He set his bottle back down and looked at me through narrowed eyes. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"Um... I mean maybe you're not as devastated as I thought you were going to be." I paused but he just stared at me so I continued. "You were upset on Friday, but, to be honest, that turned to anger pretty quickly and I haven't really seen you upset since. So, were things already shaky before all this?"

Chris swept his gaze around the bar before fixing his eyes on me again. "Kind of, I guess," he supplied. He picked up his bottle again and took a few sips.

"In what way?" I asked. "Has he cheated before?"

"No, no." He shook his head. "It wasn't him."

My mouth opened but nothing came out for a second or two. What did he mean? "You cheated on him?" I asked. I frowned as I realised I had raised my voice. "Sorry," I said, leaning forward. "Did you cheat?"

Chris sighed. "No, but Stephen thinks I did."

I pulled my chair a little closer to his and leaned on the table. "Why would he think that? What's going on?"

He looked away again. A frown marred his features and he chewed his bottom lip. It looked like he was debating with himself whether to tell me something. I decided to put him out of his misery.

"It doesn't matter. It's none of my business," I said. I sat back in my chair and picked up my bottle. His head swung round and he offered me that familiar half smile again.

"It just sounds silly, that's all," he supplied. "And it's too hard to explain."

"It's okay," I reassured him. "Like I said, none of my business." I slurped my beer.

He muttered something I didn't quite catch and then he laughed. Then he seemed to pull himself together and he stood. "Men's room," he supplied then turned and walked off in the direction of said room.

I watched him walk away. Obviously, I was intrigued. But he had effectively signalled the end of that particular conversation by getting up at that point. I wondered what Chris might have done to make Stephen think he had been cheating. But I was clueless.

I stood and made my way over to the bar again and bought us a third bottle each. Chris was seated at the table when I returned. He looked more relaxed than he had been earlier and as I sat I realised I was, too. It felt better knowing that we could talk again and that the previous awkwardness had evaporated.

"Can I ask you something?" Chris said when I had settled back in my seat. I nodded at him. "Which test did you have? Did you get your results?"

_Great!_ I had managed not to think about that for over an hour and there it was again, front and centre. I blew out a breath. "No, I don't have the results yet." I looked at him. "What about you?"

He sighed. "Well, it was negative yesterday," he supplied. "But that doesn't mean it will be next time." I gaped at him. He saw my expression and continued. "There's a window when it's not detectable. I have to get tested again in a month."

_Oh!_ That was something else I hadn't known about. I resolved to read all that literature the physician had given me when I got home. I nodded at my friend.

"So..." Chris said. "Do you want me to come with you when you get your results?"

I thought about that. Did I? I wasn't sure.

"If I go with you," he continued, "You could come with me again next time I have to go back." He looked hopeful.

I smiled at him. "I already told you, I'll go with you whenever you want me to. Besides," I added, "I don't really want that silly receptionist thinking you're a man-whore. It would reflect badly on me, seeing that we're now a couple and everything." I winked at him.

To my surprise, his cheeks pinked up and he turned his head away. I sighed inwardly. I have such a talent for saying the wrong thing, sometimes. He obviously thought I was mocking him for his comments in the waiting room yesterday. I mumbled an apology and got up to use the men's room.

~~~~

The walk home took me longer than I had originally planned. I wasn't drunk, but I walked slower than usual. I was deep in thought most of the way home. I was puzzled and a little perturbed, to be honest.

Chris and I had hung around _O'Shea's_ for another hour but the conversation had inexplicably dried up again. We had lapsed into silence and had instead watched what remained of a rugby match that they were showing on the television. It had been a high scoring game and it should have been pretty entertaining but I had been distracted. I kept looking over at Chris, trying to work out how I had managed to piss him off again. But after four beers and not much sleep over the past few nights, I had been too tired to ask. Anyway, when the rugby ended, I had decided it was time to go home and I had said goodnight to my friend.

I stared in my fridge, looking for something to snack on. There wasn't very much in there, which reminded me I should have done some grocery shopping at some point this weekend. I pulled out some cheese and cut a slab and then grabbed an apple from the salad drawer at the bottom of the fridge. I put the food on a plate and took it through to the living room with a glass of water. I looked at the time on the DVD player. I needed to be up early for work tomorrow but I still had plenty of time to read all those booklets and leaflets I had been given.

Now, what had I done with them?

# Chapter 6

I was woken by another phone call a little over a week later. As was usually my way, I didn't look at the screen to see who it was before I answered. I suppose I should start doing that because I wasn't prepared for a call from the clinic that early in the day. And why do people always call me so early on my days off, anyway?

"Mr Katsaros?"

"Yeah," I mumbled, still half asleep.

"This is the Waterloo Street clinic. I'm calling this morning to arrange for you to come in and get your test results, please."

I was instantly awake, not surprisingly. "I can do it today. I'm not working today." I had sounded a little eager there, I realised. I wasn't _that_ eager, but as the days had passed I had become more and more stressed about it so it was almost a relief that the day had finally arrived.

"Oh, let me check what's available," the woman on the other end of the line said. "Would eleven am be alright?"

I looked at the clock. "Yeah, eleven would be good." It was a little later than I would have liked, now that I was awake, because it gave me a couple of hours to kill, but what the heck?

"Okay, Mr Katsaros, that's confirmed for you. We'll see you at eleven. Have a good morning." She hung up. I flopped back onto the bed and yet again found myself wondering what I should do to pass the time. It seemed I was doing that a lot, lately. Killing time. It was a crime.

~~~~

The receptionist smiled brightly at me as I walked up to her counter. I realised it was the same woman as last time and sighed inwardly. "Nick Katsaros," I informed her and she looked at her screen and nodded.

"Please take a seat, Mr Katsaros," she replied. "The consultant will be ready for you in a few moments." She smiled at me again. I nodded my thanks and turned away, wondering how many times during her working day she had to smile like that and whether her face ached by the end of her shift.

I wandered over to the chairs and perched on the edge of one, staring through the large window in front of me and wondering whether I should have called Chris after all. I hadn't seen much of him recently though, which was one of the reasons I hadn't called him. Things had become a little strained and I hated it but I didn't really know what had caused it or how to fix it. So, like a coward, I had just let things slide. We had spoken on the phone a few times, just checking in the way we always had, but the calls hadn't lasted long and I had only seen him in the flesh once since we had been in _O'Shea's_. It was inexplicable to me, this awkwardness, but as I sat there waiting for my appointment I realised I had to do something to fix things. Life's too short. I resolved to call him as soon as I got out of here.

~~~~

I counted the rings. Seven, before he picked up.

"Wanna go out later?" I asked, before Chris had time to speak. I heard his sigh and I closed my eyes. I didn't like the sound of that. I could feel an excuse coming my way. Dammit, I had let this carry on long enough. "Chris, come on. Let's go out. I'm not working today or tomorrow. And I know you're not working tomorrow."

There was a pause and I could see his face. I mean, I _couldn't_ see his face but I knew what it would look like. I can guarantee he was chewing his bottom lip while his eyebrows had drawn together. I chuckled at the thought.

"What are you laughing at?" he asked.

"You," I replied without hesitation.

"Why? What did I do?"

"Nothing," I said. "Shall I come by yours or are you going to meet me somewhere?" Another pause. "Chris, put me out of my misery, here. Am I meeting you, or what?"

"Yeah, alright," he finally answered. "I'll meet you in _Spice_ at five."

"Good." I nodded. We could sort this out, whatever it was. "I'll see you at five."

It was only when we had disconnected that I considered where we had agreed to meet. I think I had only been in _Spice_ once. I wasn't absolutely sure but I believe Chris had dragged me in there one time, during a drunken evening out. The more I tried to cast my mind back, the more I was convinced. It was a gay bar, wasn't it?

~~~~

I was walking down the one street that I knew housed most of the gay bars in this city and I was feeling a little self-conscious, I admit. I couldn't quite remember where _Spice_ was but it had to be around here somewhere. I had thought about this while I was getting ready to head out. The only trouble, as far as I could see, was that I was completely sober. Okay, I had been in gay bars before - and not only with Chris. But usually I was three sheets to the wind by that point in the evening and I hadn't cared where I had gone as long as they served alcohol.

This time was different. While I could have used a little Dutch courage to walk down this particular street alone, I wanted to be clear-headed when I met Chris so that we could talk through whatever issues we were having and get to the bottom of them - and fucking _resolve_ them! I didn't know how he felt but this was killing me. We had been friends for too long to allow this wedge to push us any farther apart.

Dutch courage. Where does that saying come from, anyway? I didn't have a clue. I only knew two Dutch people and neither of them seem to drink any more than I did.

I spied the sign ahead of me. I _was_ on the right street. It _was_ a gay bar. I paused at the entrance and pulled my phone out of my pocket to check the time. I was twenty minutes early. Oh well, _fuck it!_ I pushed open the door and took a quick glance around as I strode over to the serving counter. It was fairly quiet in here, although I didn't know how busy it normally was.

A barman walked over almost immediately. I saw him out of my peripheral vision but I was still scanning the fridges and the beer taps, not having made my mind up what I wanted to drink.

"Cocktails are half price," the barman stated. "Until seven pm." I looked at him. Did I look like a cocktail person or did he have to say that to everyone who walked in? I grinned and shook my head at the thought.

"What would you recommend?" I asked him.

"Hmmm," he replied. He leaned forward, placing his arms on the counter. "I'd say you were a 'Sex on the Beach' kind of guy." I burst out laughing. "What?" he asked, placing a hand over his heart. "I'm wrong? Don't tell me I'm wrong. I'm always right."

I shook my head, looking away. I couldn't have held his gaze if my life had depended on it. I chuckled again. "'Sex on the Beach' sounds good," I replied. "Can you make two?" I had never had one and I didn't have a clue what they tasted like. "On second thoughts, could you make three, please?" I added, turning back to face him. I was early and I was in a gay bar. No doubt I would finish mine before Chris arrived.

"I can make you four, babe," the barman replied, reaching under the counter for something.

I nodded. Four was fine. If they were composed mostly of fruit juice, as most of the cocktails I had ever tasted were, then I could down two, no problem, before Chris turned up.

"Would you like to open a tab?" the barman asked while he busied himself pouring and mixing.

I considered that. Why not? I fished my wallet out of my pocket and opened it. "Yeah," I replied. "Might as well." I held out a credit card. He winked and grinned at me as he plucked it from my fingers. I think I felt my face redden. But he probably did that to everyone. Momentarily, he handed my card back and then busied himself finishing the cocktails. While he did so, I scanned the room again. Should I stay at the counter or find a table? That was my next dilemma. The place wasn't crowded at this time of day but I did notice a couple of guys looking back at me as my gaze travelled around the room. I resolved to stay at the counter, at least until Chris arrived.

That reminded me. I pulled my phone out again and checked the time.

"Will your boyfriend be here soon?" asked the barman as he pushed two glasses in front of me and then started on the second set of cocktails.

Oh, _fuck!_ I knew this would happen. _Boyfriend?_ I reached for a glass and brought it to my lips. The barman paused and looked up at me. I nodded after I had taken a sip and swallowed. _Ο Χριστός!_ That was sweet! I winced at the sweetness but I tried to hide my reaction. Although, I did like the peach flavour.

"Yeah," I responded. "He should be here soon." Wait... _what?_ It seemed I couldn't censor my own mouth - what was _that_ all about? I cleared my throat. "Um, I mean..." What the fuck _did_ I mean? I didn't have a clue. "Um, yeah, I'm waiting for someone." My God, that sounded lame! I gulped half of what remained in the glass in my hand.

"Ah! First date, eh?" the barman asked without looking up from his task.

I was struck dumb. I had no response at that point. I was _well_ outside my comfort zone and I knew it. I wasn't usually lost for words but they all failed me at that point. I emptied the glass in my hand and set it down on the bar. As I was reaching for the second glass I suddenly had a clear image of Chris in my mind for some reason. Chris, who had been my closest friend for almost ten years. Ten fucking years! I had never been closer to anyone else in my life. Not my brothers, not my sister, nobody. Chris knew my innermost secrets. _Jesus!_ He even knew I was afraid of clowns! How embarrassing was that? At that very moment, I realised that Chris was more important to me than anyone else in my life. And I realised that I couldn't be without him in my life. I _loved_ that guy! And I had really missed him. That just reinforced how important it was to get everything back on track tonight. If this bartender thought Chris was my boyfriend, then so be it. It didn't matter. I gulped at the second cocktail, having kind of acquired the taste for it. They weren't bad at all.

When Chris walked through the door, twenty minutes later, I breathed a sigh of relief. And I was so pleased to see him that I was kinda taken aback by my own feelings.

# Chapter 7

He grinned at me and I grinned back. Thank _fuck_ for that! I could relax now. I moved away from the bar to meet him as he approached and we hugged each other. If I wasn't mistaken, he looked relieved. I know I was. I had to pull myself upright with a conscious effort as I felt myself slumping against his body.

"Sex on the Beach" were the first words out of my mouth as I started to pull away. I don't know why.

Chris laughed. "Maybe later," he suggested as he let go of me. I turned and gestured at the counter, embarrassed. "Oh," he said, having worked out what I meant. I knew my face was probably crimson by this point. But I felt better, strangely enough. Happier. And more relaxed than I had been in some time. Maybe those cocktails had more alcohol in them than I had imagined.

I slung an arm around his shoulder and steered him towards our drinks. I pushed one of the glasses in front of him. The barman chose that moment to open his mouth again. "I was beginning to hope you wouldn't show," he directed at Chris. "I wanted to take him home myself."

Chris played along with the joke as I clammed up again. "You can't have him. He's all mine." He turned to me and winked and I completely cracked up. I could hear the pair of them chuckling and talking to each other, but I was too busy trying to pull myself together to pay any real attention to what they were saying. Maybe the cocktails weren't such a good idea after all. I was giggling like a schoolgirl.

When I finally stopped, Chris gestured at the empty glasses and said, "It looks like I have some catching up to do." I grinned sheepishly and he turned back to the barman. "You had better keep 'em coming," Chris said. "I like him when he's like this." I rolled my eyes at him, about to object, but the barman had already started to pour the ingredients for another set. So, it looked like we would be drinking cocktails for the foreseeable future. Or, at least until the price returned to normal. My fault. Or was it the barman's fault?

I picked up the two full glasses, noticing that Chris hadn't touched his yet, and gestured towards a table. "If we're drinking these, I think I should sit down," I suggested.

"Lightweight," he scoffed. I scowled at him playfully. He nodded and waved towards the tables. "I'll wait here for the next round," he added and so I turned away and headed for an empty table. I took a seat and set the drinks down. I was definitely feeling the effects of the alcohol already. These things were stronger than I had anticipated. Probably because I didn't usually drink this kind of thing. I gazed over at my friend and watched as he chatted with the barman while waiting for the cocktails.

It suddenly struck me that Chris was rather dressed up. I wasn't. Not really. I'm a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy and normally so is Chris but this evening he was wearing a rather dressy pair of black jeans. Designer jeans, if I wasn't mistaken. Instead of a t-shirt, he was wearing a proper shirt, a couple of shades lighter than his jeans; a charcoal grey thing that was quite tight on him. Seeing his attire suddenly made me feel quite under-dressed. I looked down at myself and then glanced around the bar, taking in what the other customers were wearing. Yes, I was definitely the odd one out.

Chris picked up the fresh drinks and strolled over. "What's with the cocktails, then?" he asked as he took a seat.

"They were half price," I offered.

He chuckled. "You fell for that? I'm surprised at you."

I shrugged. I didn't think I had fallen for anything but I had no retort at the ready.

Chris bumped his shoulder against mine. "If you keep this up," he said, "I think I might actually have a shot at getting you to switch sides." I shook my head and rolled my eyes at him again. "And if you keep doing _that_ ," he said pointedly, "I _know_ I have a shot."

I huffed out a laugh. "Are you stereotyping?" I challenged him.

"Nah," he replied nonchalantly, settling back in his seat. "Anyway, stereotypes must have some basis in fact, don't you think?" He picked up his glass and raised it in a salute. "Cheers!"

I reached for mine and clinked it against his. "Cheers!" I responded before taking a slurp. He eyed me over his glass as he sipped his cocktail. "What?" I asked.

"Oh, nothing," he replied as he set his glass down again. He grinned to himself.

"What?" I asked again, intrigued.

"Well, it's just... Oh, never mind."

"Chris," I whined. "Tell me!"

He looked sidelong at me before leaning forwards as if he was about to tell me some big secret. "The thing is," he began. "You'll require a lot of work." I frowned at him, not understanding. He leant back in his seat and he looked me up and down. "I mean, that outfit just doesn't cut it. You'll never pass for gay dressed like that." I laughed. He was probably right. Hadn't I just been thinking along those lines myself?

"I noticed," I replied when I had stopped chuckling. "I'm certainly not fitting in with the rest of the clientele in here."

Chris nodded his agreement. "You're not fitting in with the clientele on this whole street, Nick. If I'm going to turn you, I'll have to take you shopping."

"Now you're definitely stereotyping," I accused. "Not every gay man likes to shop, you know."

"How would you know?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at me and smirking.

He had me there. I shrugged. "Anyway," I added. "The barman thought I was gay."

"No he didn't," Chris retorted.

I paused as I was reaching for my glass. "Yes he did. He was flirting with me."

Chris shook his head and grinned. "He flirts with everyone. That's part of his job description. He got you to buy expensive cocktails, didn't he? That's why he flirted."

"Oh," I said, feeling inexplicably deflated by that revelation.

Chris leaned in and nudged my shoulder again. "Don't worry," he said. "He still finds you attractive."

"How do you know?" I asked and then wondered why I was asking. Why did I even care?

"He told me," Chris replied. "We were talking about you while I waited for the drinks."

"You were? What did you say?" I waited, somewhat impatiently, for an answer while Chris took another slow sip from his glass. I wasn't sure why I even wanted to know, but I guess I was curious.

"I told him I had been working on you for nearly ten years and I still hadn't managed to get you in the sack, so there was no hope for him." Chris sat back and offered a smug, satisfied smirk.

I looked across the bar and watched the barman at work, stacking glasses. I controlled a smirk of my own as I responded. "Maybe you're not my type," I offered as I made a point of eyeing up the guy behind the counter. "Maybe he is, though." I turned back to Chris and bit my bottom lip, desperately trying to keep my face straight. Chris was blushing.

"Fuck off, Nick!" he said as he reached for his glass again.

~~~~

I grabbed the bottles that the barman had just placed in front of me and turned back towards our table. We had been in here for three hours or more and even though I had just bought another round I was wondering whether we should move on to another bar. Maybe even go somewhere for food. I hadn't eaten for hours and the alcohol was steadily building up in my body.

I set the bottles down and took my seat again. Chris wasn't here so I assumed he had visited the men's room. I took a slurp of my beer and gazed around the room. The bar had filled up considerably since we had arrived and the 'gayness' - is that even a word? - was in full swing. A little surprisingly, it wasn't making me as uncomfortable as I had thought it might. Not that it should, really. I mean, I wasn't one of those guys who assumed every gay man wanted to get into my pants. I wasn't that arrogant or that stupid. Besides, I was Greek. We Greeks have a long history of homosexuality. My family comes from Λέσβου, after all. That's Lesvos to the English-speaking world. The town of Molyvos, to be exact. You can't really get much gayer than Lesvos. Except for maybe Μύκονος - or so I've heard. I've never actually been to Mykonos.

No, this was a nice bar. I just wouldn't have thought of coming here, had the choice been mine. But I would certainly consider it in future. I can't really remember much about the previous times I had been in here with Chris. I was too drunk then. I was becoming steadily drunk sitting here now. Again I thought about food. I could definitely use some.

I spotted Chris making his way towards me from the men's room and decided to suggest moving on to somewhere else so we could eat. I watched him pause by the counter as someone who was standing there reached out a hand to touch him. Chris grinned at the man and they hugged and I saw the guy's hands slide down Chris' back and squeeze his butt. I hastily averted my gaze.

Obviously, I had seen Chris and Stephen being affectionate in the past, but something was different about this. I didn't know why but it made me uncomfortable. I could feel myself frowning and blushing and I mentally shook myself and tried to dispel that strange feeling. I reached for my bottle and took a couple of gulps as I tried to rationalise what I had just experienced. Maybe it was the realisation that Chris was single again and I just hadn't got used to that idea yet. I mean, he was virtually family because he had been with my cousin for so long, even though I had known Chris as a friend for much longer. Now that he was single, Chris would probably start dating again. It was natural to assume that. I was single and I dated plenty. Although, come to think of it, I hadn't dated for some time. Maybe I should make more of an effort in that regard.

My friend reappeared at my side but he didn't take his seat. I looked up at him. He was blushing faintly. "What's up?" I asked.

He cleared his throat. "I have a favour to ask," he replied.

"Ask away," I suggested.

His cheeks reddened a little more. "Would you mind very much if I dumped you?" he asked. I felt myself starting to frown and I hurriedly put a stop to it. I tried to turn my expression into a grin instead. "It's just that... You see that guy over there?" He gestured behind him to the man I had already seen molesting him a few moments ago. I nodded for Chris to continue. "Well, he's just asked me to dinner and, well, if you don't mind, I'd rather like to go."

I shrugged at him, feeling slightly let down but not wanting to show it. "You don't need my permission, mate," I responded. "Go have some fun. I was thinking about leaving soon anyway." I was definitely thinking about leaving now.

"You're sure it's alright?" Chris asked.

"Yeah, no problem," I replied. "I'm glad we had these few hours though," I added as I reached for his jacket that was slung across the back of his chair. "I'm glad we're back to normal." I meant that, too. This evening we had managed to find our familiar, comfortable friendship again and I was really pleased about that. I passed his jacket to him and attempted another grin.

He nodded at me. "Me too. Thanks." He donned his jacket and turned away then he paused and turned back to me. "I'll call you this weekend sometime," he added before turning away again and heading over to his date for the rest of the evening.

I reached for my bottle and sighed. I supposed I could grab a burger or something on the way home.

# Chapter 8

"Are you working tomorrow?" Chris asked. He had called around ten minutes after my alarm clock had sounded so he hadn't woken me up this time.

"Nope," I replied. "Why?"

"I was wondering whether you would come back to the clinic with me," he replied. "For another test."

"I don't think I need another test," I joked. "I haven't had any sex since the last one." That was true, by the way. I really needed to do something about that. Self-help only went so far towards scratching that itch. I frowned to myself.

"Not you, me!" He sounded exasperated with me again. Maybe I wasn't all that funny.

I sighed. "I told you I'd go with you, didn't I? You didn't believe me?"

"Sorry," said Chris. I frowned again. Why was he apologising to me?

"What time?" I asked.

"Ten thirty," he responded.

"Okay, I'll be at yours for nine thirty. And I'll bring breakfast, if you can wait that long for it."

He chuckled. "Alright, thanks. I have to go now or I'll be late for work. See you tomorrow." He hung up.

"Okay, bye," I said, staring at the handset. He had sounded distracted. Like there was something on his mind. Was he really worried that the follow-up test wouldn't be negative? I hoped not. I glanced at the bedside alarm clock and realised I was going to be late myself if I didn't get a move on. I heaved myself out of bed and headed for the bathroom.

~~~~

Having made stops at the local coffee shop and the local bakery, I was armed with two large coffees and a bag containing croissants and muffins. The muffins were for me although I would allow Chris to have one if he really wanted one, because then I could pinch one of his croissants.

I jogged up the steps and into the foyer of his apartment block and I headed for the elevator, because - I told myself - I didn't want the coffee to cool down too much if I climbed twelve flights of stairs. Chris lived on the top floor.

That reminded me; I hadn't been to the gym in a while. I should make time for that soon. Chris was lucky. His apartment block had its own gym. Mine didn't but I had a membership to a fairly well-equipped one just around the corner from where I lived. I guess if I had a gym a few floors below me I would probably use it more. I know that Chris uses his gym a lot. He likes to keep in shape. Stephen had used it a lot too. I wondered what gym Stephen used now that he wasn't living here.

I was brought out of my musing by the ping of the elevator signalling I had reached the top floor. I stepped out after pushing the button for the ground floor to send it back down to the bottom. I like to do that because I find it annoying waiting for the things.

I rapped on my friend's door and waited. Over a minute later, he opened up, rubbing his hair with a towel. "Did I drag you out of the shower?" I asked as I stepped inside and headed for the kitchen.

"I overslept," Chris replied from behind me. "Which was pretty stupid because I was awake half the night. When I finally did fall asleep I didn't hear my alarm."

"What was keeping you awake?" I asked. I opened a couple of cupboards, searching for plates. He saw what I was doing and handed two plates to me. I nodded my thanks and began to unwrap the pastries. I paused and looked at him when I realised he hadn't answered.

He shrugged. "Nothing in particular."

"Not today's test?"

Chris shook his head and frowned at me. I decided to drop it. I pushed a plate in front of him and handed him a coffee.

~~~~

I hung back a little as Chris checked in with the receptionist. When he moved away from her I fell into step beside him and we grabbed a couple of seats facing the huge glass window.

"I didn't tell you my test result, did I?" It had just occurred to me.

"Well, I assumed it was negative," Chris replied, giving me a look that suggested I was being stupid. Of course I was. If it had been anything other than negative, he would have known by now.

I nodded. "Yeah, sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" he asked. I didn't really know. I guess this place always put me on edge or something.

"Forget it," I said. "Change of topic. Tell me about your date the other night." He hadn't mentioned it at all.

"There's nothing to tell," he replied, looking down at his hands folded together in his lap. "We had dinner."

"Mr Palmer." We both looked up. "Hello again. Follow me please." It was the same guy as last time. Chris turned to me and gave me a look of resignation before he stood and followed the guy in the white coat. I turned back to the window and watched the world passing by outside the glass, wishing I didn't suddenly feel rather nervous.

~~~~

"Nick!"

I jumped, startled. I had been in a world of my own. One look at the expression on Chris' face told me all I needed to know. I was immediately flooded with relief. His eyes had their old sparkle back. I could tell he was trying to keep a straight face but it was obvious he was happy. Thank _fuck_ for that!

I grinned at him as I stood. "Ready to get out of here?" I asked.

He nodded. "Most definitely," he replied.

We made a swift exit. Outside on the street, we both paused. "What now?" I asked.

"I'm not sure," he said, a thoughtful expression on his face. "I guess it's a little too early to go out and get smashed, isn't it?"

I chuckled. "If you want to get smashed, friend of mine, then we should get smashed." I slung an arm around his neck and steered us towards the centre of town. I couldn't quite believe how relieved I felt. Almost as relieved as when I had received my own result. _Almost_. "Where shall we go?"

"Queen Street?"

Somehow I knew he would say that. "Okay," I agreed after a moment's pause. "You wanna go to _Spice_ again?"

"Would you mind?" he asked. "I do like it in there."

"Wherever you want. It's fine." It was a nice enough bar; I had decided that a couple of nights ago. As we headed in that direction, I wondered why all the gay bars were on Queen Street. Was that a coincidence or did the owners purposely decide to open up all the gay bars on that street? Or, did the street receive a name change after that area had become the gay district? It's funny but it hadn't actually occurred to me until that moment and I couldn't contain a chuckle at the thought.

"What are you laughing at?" Chris asked.

"Queen Street. I just realised." I couldn't _not_ tell him.

"My God, Nick! You're slow, aren't you?" He laughed too.

As we turned into Queen Street, Chris pulled away from me. That's when I realised I'd had my arm around him the whole time we had been walking. I hadn't even noticed. I cleared my throat, suddenly feeling a little perturbed. Had I made him feel uncomfortable or was he worried about _me_ being uncomfortable?

"Hey," I said. "Was that for my benefit or yours?"

"Huh?" He looked at me as if I was speaking in a foreign language. I frowned at him.

"Never mind." I strode ahead a little and reached the bar before him. I pulled open the door and then realised I was being childish so I stood there and held the door open for Chris to enter first. He gave me a confused look before going inside. I frowned again. What was he confused about? I was pretty sure he knew exactly what I had meant; he was just playing dumb.

I followed him to the counter, trying to decide whether I should broach the subject again and then I wondered why it was bothering me so much. I wasn't happy that he might be thinking I was uncomfortable, but I elected to drop it. If he thought I was feeling awkward about having my arm around him then he was wrong, but it wasn't worth making an issue out of it. Not when we were supposed to be celebrating. I presumed that was why we were here. Celebrating getting the all clear, I mean.

"I don't suppose you fancy cocktails again?" asked Chris as I reached his side.

"Um, nope," I replied. "Besides, they were half price last time. That was the only reason we had them before. I'll have an Amstel please." I leant on the bar. Chris laughed and signalled the barman. "What's so funny?" I asked. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out.

"Oh nothing's funny," replied Chris as I looked down at the screen. "I thought you'd developed a taste for 'Sex on the Beach', that's all." I frowned at that remark and then I realised I had a message from my sister. I opened it.

"I'm gonna grab a table," I told Chris as I turned away and headed over to an empty one. Thea's message was telling me that she would be having a birthday party at my parents' house next weekend. Unfortunately, it also reminded me that I hadn't yet bought her a gift. I always forget her birthday for some reason. I don't have that problem with anyone else. Fortunately, my phone provided a solution. I opened the Amazon app, quickly browsed the latest rom-coms and purchased a couple for her. I love shopping like that. I hate shopping any other way. I set my phone on the table and grinned to myself in satisfaction.

"What's with the Cheshire cat grin?" Chris asked as he plonked the beers on the table and took a seat.

"Nothing important," I replied. I picked up my beer. "Cheers," I added before I took a sip. "Hey, what are you doing next Saturday?"

Chris wiped his mouth with his fingers and put his beer down. "I haven't a clue," he said. "Next Saturday is a long way off. Why?"

"Party at my parents' place," I told him. "It's Thea's birthday. If the weather's good, I expect it'll be held in the garden, around the pool." That's what normally happened. There would probably be a huge barbecue, music piped outside from my dad's ridiculously expensive sound system and the pool house would be turned into a bar.

Chris grinned. He had been to a couple of my family's parties in the past so he knew what to expect. They tended to become a little raucous as people became tipsy and the pool became the centre of attention. "Remember the time we put that neighbour of yours in his place?" he said. I nodded. I remembered. He had been showing off, having just told everyone how he had paid over a grand for the clothes he was wearing. Stupid move. He ended up in the pool, fully clothed. I shook my head and laughed. Chris joined in the laughter. Why would anyone wear such expensive clothes to a party in someone's back garden?

Suddenly, Chris' laughter died. "Hang on," he said. I stopped chuckling and looked at him. "Will Stephen be there?"

My mouth formed an 'O'. I didn't know. I reached for my phone. "I'll check," I told him. I dashed off a quick message to Thea and set my phone down again to wait for a reply. "I take it if he's there, you won't be?"

Chris scrunched up his nose. "We still haven't spoken," he responded. "I'd hate to ruin Thea's party by getting into a shouting match with your cousin."

I nodded my understanding but I couldn't help wondering how long this was going to continue. "Isn't it about time you _did_ talk to him?" I asked. "Have you tried getting in touch?" He shook his head.

"What's the point?" he said. He reached for his beer and turned away from me, glancing around the bar as he took a few gulps.

_What's the point?_ I sighed. It would seem that their relationship was well and truly over.

# Chapter 9

Thea's reply hadn't really cleared up matters. She'd told me Stephen had been invited but that he hadn't responded so she didn't know if he would be there or not. Chris had decided not to attend, given that news. That had in turn made me feel a little pissed off. My cousin and my best friend. Family get-togethers would never be the same again.

Chris returned from the men's room and flopped into his seat. He stared at me and then shook his head and chuckled.

"What? I asked, my curiosity aroused.

He then chewed his bottom lip and gazed down at his lap. When he looked up at me again, it was through his lashes. He broke into a grin. "I was gonna ask you out on a date but I thought better of it."

I paused with my beer half way to my mouth. "You what?"

He laughed again then reached for his own drink. "There's a poster in the men's room. Kylie Minogue is appearing at _G-A-Y_ in a couple of weeks."

"Seriously?" I sat forward. "When?" Chris was one of the few people who knew I was actually _into_ Kylie. It wasn't something I advertised. Not good for the image, you understand.

"The seventeenth," Chris replied. "Wanna go?"

"Um, let me think." I paused, for effect only. This was _Kylie_ we were talking about. "Yes!" I nodded my enthusiasm. "Can you get tickets?"

He grinned at me. "Shouldn't be a problem." He sat back in his seat and regarded me again. "You sure you want to go?" he asked. "It's at _G-A-Y_ and you're likely to see lots of nearly naked men, probably in tiny shorts, dancing rather suggestively."

"So? It's _Kylie_. I think I'll manage to tear my eyes away from the nearly naked men long enough to watch _her_." That definitely wouldn't be a problem.

"Okay, it's a date," Chris said, winking at me. I reined in the urge to roll my eyes at him and I grinned instead.

~~~~

Having realised we were in danger of getting drunk - again - I had suggested moving on to another bar where we could grab some food and Chris had agreed. So we had wandered along Queen Street until Chris pulled me into a place called _Sasha's_ which appeared to be in the care of a mountain of a man sporting tattoos up both arms, a shaven head and huge stretchers in his ears.

He was standing behind the counter as we walked in. As soon as he saw Chris he ducked around the end of it and raced over to us and I had to take a step back to avoid being bowled over as this guy scooped Chris up in a bear hug.

I took a look around the bar as I waited for them to finish. They were both talking at the same time and I tuned out their chatter because I didn't really want to eavesdrop. They obviously knew each other very well. I realised that I felt a little awkward standing there so I decided to head over to the counter and find the food menu. There was a copy on the counter so I grabbed it then I scanned the refrigerators. A barman approached and smiled at me so I smiled back.

"What are you in the mood for?" he asked.

"That's a good question," I replied. "I could definitely use some food, but I'm waiting for him before I order." I nodded over my shoulder at Chris and his friend.

"Ah," the barman supplied. "You might be waiting a while. It looks like Dimitri wants to catch up." I turned and saw Chris being pulled to a table where he took a seat alongside the big guy. I sighed quietly to myself and returned my attention to the barman.

"Could you get me a bottle of Amstel while I wait, please?" The man chuckled and opened the fridge, pulling out a bottle of the beer I had asked for before setting it on the counter in front of me.

"I can bring you a bowl of nachos while you wait for your friend," he suggested as he popped the cap. "Then you can order some real food if Dimitri ever releases him." I considered that for about three seconds before I nodded at him.

"That's a good idea. Thanks." I pulled a stool towards me with my foot and took a seat. The barman grinned before starting to back away.

"Be right back," he said as he disappeared through a doorway.

I picked up the menu again before deciding there was no point in looking at it yet and setting it down once more. I looked over at where Chris was still heavily engrossed in a conversation with Dimitri and then I let my gaze wander around the bar. Was it my imagination or were all these places starting to look the same? And, more importantly, was it going to become a regular occurrence for Chris to abandon me in a bar on Queen Street? Maybe I should refuse the next time he suggests we go to one of his gay bars. I could feel myself becoming irritated by the thought and I shook my head as if to dispel it. There was no point in becoming annoyed at the situation or at Chris. Obviously he knew plenty of people around here. We were bound to run into them if I kept accompanying him on these trips to the gay district. And I had the distinct feeling his trips to Queen Street were going to become more frequent, now that he and Stephen had broken up. So, either I had to get used to the idea of coming here more often myself, or risk seeing less of him. I guess he was back on the market.

And if he wanted a new boyfriend...

My thoughts were interrupted by a chuckle and a bowl being slid in front of me. I looked up to see the barman grinning at me. "You were deep in thought, there," he said. "Sorry to disturb you." I laughed. He didn't look sorry at all but I was glad for the distraction anyway. And for the food. The smell made me realise I was hungry.

"Thanks," I nodded at him and pulled out my wallet. "Any chance I can set up a tab? I don't know how long Chris will be." I offered him my credit card.

"No problem, babe," he said as he took it from me and moved over to the cash register. I decided to ignore the 'babe' comment. I watched him swipe the card and then turn to hand it back to me. "I hate to burst your bubble," he added, "but Dimitri has just ordered drinks for himself and your friend." He indicated behind me with his head and I swivelled in my seat, a sinking feeling overtaking me. I was being abandoned again.

"For fuck's sake," I muttered before I could stop myself. I turned back to the barman. "Sorry," I added.

"Don't apologise to me," he said, a wry grin on his lips. "I know all too well what that feels like." He leant his forearms on the counter. "Boyfriend?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Nope, just a friend," I explained.

He nodded. "Well, this bar isn't so bad," he said. "I can think of worse places to be abandoned." He stood up straight again and held out his hand. "I'm Theo by the way."

"Niko," I replied as I took his hand. His grip was firmer than I had expected.

He tilted his head to the side. "Greek or Russian?" he asked. He hadn't released my hand yet and I realised I'd given him the Greek version of my name instead of the more English 'Nick'.

"Greek," I supplied. He grinned and let go of my hand.

"Thought so," he nodded. "Where's your family from?"

"Lesvos," I told him. "Yours?" Now that I looked at him properly I could see that he was also Greek. Not that I couldn't have guessed, with him having a name like Theo.

"Skiathos," Theo replied. "Not too far from each other really, considering."

I chuckled. There was a lot of Aegean Sea between Lesvos and Skiathos, but I understood what he meant. Skiathos was pretty much due west of Lesvos, although it would be a fairly long trip by boat.

"Oh shit," Theo suddenly said. "I forgot to bring you some cutlery. Sorry." He darted away and came back with a knife and fork wrapped in a paper napkin which he offered to me, along with an apologetic look.

"Thanks," I said as I reached for them. I pushed the bowl forward a little. "Would you like some?" I asked.

Theo quickly glanced around the bar before looking back at me. "No, I shouldn't," he said. "I can't. But thanks."

"Oh, have some," I suggested. "I won't eat all of them because I'll be ordering real food soon."

"You sure about that?" he asked. "It looks like your friend is going to be occupied for some time."

I resisted the temptation to turn around and look at Chris and Dimitri again and I waved at the bowl. "Share them with me."

"I'll tell you what," he said, leaning forward a little. "I finish in around two minutes. I'll join you around the other side of the counter. That is, if you don't mind?" He stood up straight again.

"Not at all," I replied. "Please do." He grinned at me, then he wandered off to speak to another barman who had been working at the far end of the bar. I unwrapped my knife and fork and then realised I didn't really need them. I picked up a nacho and began to eat, slowly. Then it occurred to me what I had just done. I wondered why I had invited Theo to share my nachos. That wasn't like me at all. I reached for my beer. Perhaps it was because I didn't want to sit here alone. Or, maybe it was because he was Greek and therefore we would probably have things to talk about. It didn't matter anyway. I had already done it.

I took a few gulps from my beer and chanced another glance behind me at Chris. He was in an animated conversation with Dimitri and it was obvious he had completely forgotten about me. I sighed and swivelled back to face the counter.

"What's the deal with you and him?"

I looked to my left in time to see Theo setting down a bar stool next to me. The other barman appeared and placed another bowl of nachos down on the counter in front of Theo. "I thought we were sharing mine," I said, pointing at the second bowl.

Theo shook his head. "Nope, you'll need those," he replied. "Your friend won't be joining you anytime soon." He unwrapped his cutlery and paused before he dug in. "So?" he asked. "What's the deal?"

I shrugged. "I'm not entirely sure," I admitted. "He's been one of my closest friends for years, but just lately I'm not sure what's going on." I picked up another nacho. I wasn't sure that I should be saying anything about recent events so I didn't, deciding instead to fill my mouth.

"He keeps watching you," Theo supplied. "When you're not looking."

"Does he?" That surprised me. Every time I had looked over at Chris, he had seemed oblivious to my presence.

"He's watching us now," Theo confirmed. "Don't turn around," he added, just as I was about to. "If I'm not mistaken, he's getting jealous." I stared at Theo who smirked at me then scooped up some guacamole with his fork.

Why would Chris be jealous? He had left me to fend for myself in another gay bar while he chatted to some stranger. Well, a stranger to me anyway. And he hadn't even had the courtesy to introduce me to Dimitri. In fact, we hadn't said two words to each other since we had entered _Sasha's_. What was his game?

~~~~

Theo called the barman over and ordered us another round. Chris still hadn't decided to pay me a visit, although, to be fair, I could have gone over to their table if I had wanted to. But I didn't. I was enjoying Theo's company.

It turned out that _Sasha's_ was Theo's place. Sasha was his mother's name. I had, for some reason, assumed that Dimitri owned this place. Probably because he had so readily skipped out from behind the counter, leaving Theo to tend to the customers. And because Dimitri looked so much older than Theo.

Theo had explained that Dimitri didn't even work for him and that he had only asked the man to stand behind the counter while he had popped into the kitchen. Dimitri, it seemed, was a rather famous doorman at a local nightclub, not a bartender at _Sasha's_. My mistake. But I had never visited a nightclub in this district. So how would I know?

"I don't suppose you would like to move on to somewhere else after this drink?" Theo asked me suddenly. I looked at him and considered the idea.

"Yeah, if you like." I glanced behind me to see Chris, Dimitri and three other guys sitting around the table that Dimitri had commandeered almost as soon as we had entered the bar. I didn't fancy joining them and I also didn't fancy trying to drag Chris away. He seemed perfectly happy there.

"Good," Theo said with a nod. "I've been here since seven o'clock this morning and I'm sick of the place now."

I chuckled at the expression on his face. "As long as you don't take me to _Spice_ ," I suggested. "I've already been there today."

Theo scoffed. "Not a chance. It's full of queers in there." My mouth dropped open in surprise and he winked. "It's full of queers in here though, too. I don't know if you've noticed."

I wasn't sure what to think about that and my expression must have given away my confusion. He nudged my shoulder with his. "I'm sorry," he said in an exaggerated whisper. "But I'm claiming that particular word back. I'm not trying to insult anyone. But if you don't like me using it, I won't say it again."

"Um... okay." I didn't really know what to say. "If you want to use it, I don't mind," I added. I wouldn't dream of saying that word, myself. Not out loud, anyway. Then a thought occurred to me. I had assumed Theo was gay because he owned a gay bar but I didn't know for sure. And a further thought crossed my mind. Had Theo assumed _I_ was gay because I was _in_ a gay bar? I reached for my fresh bottle of beer.

Did it matter?

No, it didn't.

# Chapter 10

"Let's move," Theo suggested. He tilted his bottle to his lips and drained it. Setting it down again, he motioned with his head. "Are you going to say goodbye to Chris?"

I had just glanced behind me and counted seven people at that table, not including Chris. He was evidently here for the rest of the evening. I stood and pushed my stool against the counter. "I guess I should," I replied. "Meet you outside?" Theo nodded.

I wandered over to Chris' table, checking my pockets as I moved. Keys, wallet, phone, all where they should be. He looked up as I approached and his face became serious. "I'm leaving," I mouthed over the chatter from the other table occupants. I gestured with my hand, indicating I would give him a call. Chris stood and moved around the table towards me.

"I'm sorry," he said as he stopped in front of me. "I didn't mean for this to happen. I feel terrible."

I chuckled. No he didn't. But I didn't want him to feel terrible. I wanted him to enjoy himself. "It's fine," I tried to reassure him. "Go have fun with your friends. I'm heading out with Theo. He's sick of being here now." While I had been a little pissed off earlier about being left on my own, that feeling had evaporated the more time I had spent with Theo. And, I reminded myself, Chris had endured a rough few weeks. He could use a little fun.

"Theo, eh?" His eyebrows rose and his mouth tilted up at one side. "Made a new friend, have we?" I nodded. Chris leaned towards me, putting his mouth against my ear. "I bet you any money you like that he's only trying to get into your pants."

I felt my own eyebrows drawing together. Not at the thought of Theo trying to get in my pants, because he hadn't given that impression at all - and it wasn't going to happen anyway, obviously. No, I was a little irritated that Chris had felt it necessary to say that. Why would he? Was he trying to wind me up? Put me off Theo? What?

I stepped back. "Well, I'll find out for myself, won't I?" I told him. I glanced over to the doorway where Theo was already waiting. "Have a good night, Chris. I'll call you." With that, I turned and headed for the exit.

~~~~

Theo and I hit two more bars before deciding to call it a night. The evening was very enjoyable. We talked and laughed about all kinds of things. We had a proper meal - the nachos didn't suffice - and by the time I had seen Theo stifle around six yawns I decided it was time to make my excuses.

"I have an early start tomorrow," I lied. "I should move."

Theo nodded. "I think that's a damn good idea," he replied. "I have a pretty early start myself. I hadn't planned to stay out so late." He covered his mouth to hide yet another yawn and I felt momentarily guilty for keeping him out so late. I didn't have an early start at all.

I stood and pulled on my jacket as I watched Theo fish his phone out of his pocket. "Are we exchanging numbers?" I asked. He looked up from his screen.

"Oh, yes. I should have thought of that," he replied. "I was going to call a taxi, to be honest."

"Why?" I asked. "How far away do you live?"

"Ten miles," he told me.

I felt guilty all over again. "Ah, sorry," I said. "I kind of assumed you lived nearby."

He shook his head. "I spend most of my time around here, working _and_ playing." He grinned. "But I don't want to live here." He stood and shrugged into his coat.

I chewed my cheek. My place was ten minutes' walk away. "How early is early?" I asked.

"Tomorrow?" I nodded. "Eight thirty. I have my manager taking care of the deliveries in the morning. So not quite as early as today."

"But still, early enough that I shouldn't have kept you out so late." I glanced at the clock on the wall behind Theo's head. It was past midnight. I had been out all day and evening. _Again_. Hoping I wasn't about to make a mistake, I opened my mouth. "Listen, you can stay at my place if you want. I have a spare bed and it's not far from here." That was my guilt getting the better of me, I knew that. But I wasn't sure how it would sound to Theo.

His facial expression first showed surprise, then relief, then became wary. Finally he smiled. "Thanks," he said. "Are you sure you don't mind?"

"I wouldn't have offered if I did mind," I replied. "Come on, let's go." I headed for the door, assuming he would follow me. At the exit I held the door open and turned back to see that he had followed. I also noted that, as his eyes met mine, his cheeks reddened and I suddenly realised why. He had been checking me out as I walked ahead of him. I looked down at the pavement as I stood there, still holding onto the door. I could feel the heat in my own face. The less said about that, the better, I decided.

~~~~

I pushed the call button for the elevator, deciding that five flights of stairs were too much for me at that time of night. I wasn't drunk, which was pretty surprising, but I was tired. As was Theo. He had yawned all the way back to my place. We hadn't spoken much; just enough to avoid any uncomfortable silences and to agree what time we would need to be awake in the morning. The doors opened and we took the short ride to my floor. As I let him into my apartment I decided it would probably be for the best if I just showed Theo the bathroom and spare bedroom straight away but he had other ideas.

"I don't suppose I could be cheeky and ask you for a cup of coffee, could I?" he said.

I shrugged. "Sure, I can make coffee," I replied and I showed him the way to the kitchen, where he took a seat at the table after taking off his coat and draping it over the back of a chair. I followed his example, shrugging out of my jacket before turning my back on him.

I set up the coffee machine and grabbed a couple of mugs from the shelf, then I turned and leaned against the counter, eyeing Theo, who seemed to be making a huge effort not to look back at me. I sighed. My kitchen wasn't _that_ interesting.

I decided to be blunt. "Something has changed between leaving that bar and arriving here. Tell me what you're thinking." I had my own ideas, obviously, but I wanted to know whether he thought it was my fault. It could well be my fault. I admit I became uncomfortable when I realised he was eyeing me up.

He finally met my eyes and he shrugged. "I wasn't sure about you," he began. "By the end of the evening, I had pretty much made up my mind that you weren't gay. Or at least, that you weren't interested in me in that way. And then you invited me back here." I tried to keep my facial expression neutral, because I wanted him to continue, but inside I felt a little sick. It _was_ my fault. And we had been getting along so well. I could have kicked myself. He continued to speak but he averted his eyes again. "I guess I got my hopes up."

_Shit!_ I turned away, pretending to do something with the coffee machine while I racked my brain for something to say. Nothing useful came to mind. "I'm not gay," I blurted. And then I cringed. _Brilliant!_ I was an idiot.

"I think I've worked that out now," he replied. "Should I leave?"

"No," I said, a little louder than I would have liked. I turned back to face him. "It's late. The offer of a bed for the night still stands."

He looked up at me and grinned sheepishly. "Just not your bed."

I had to chuckle at that, even though I could feel myself blushing. "Let me get this coffee," I responded.

~~~~

We sat there for three quarters of an hour, talking fairly easily again - which was a huge relief to me - before I made good on my promise and showed Theo to the bathroom and spare bedroom. "The bathroom's all yours in the morning by the way," I added. "I have an en-suite."

"Oh, shame," Theo said before winking at me. "I was hoping to run into you wearing nothing but a towel."

I laughed and was quite pleased with myself that I was no longer getting so embarrassed at his banter. It was a step in the right direction, especially if I wanted him to hang out with me more often, which I did. We had a lot in common. Not just our backgrounds and upbringing, but music, sport, cinema. All kinds of things.

I showed him where the clean towels were kept and I found an unopened toothbrush for him and then I wished him a good night's sleep and headed for my own room. Inside, I stripped off, took a piss, brushed my teeth and slid into bed before making sure my alarm was set. It was approaching two o'clock and all of a sudden I was exhausted. But before I drifted off, I wondered whether Chris had managed to get home safely. Or whether he was still out partying. I decided I would send him a message in the morning.

~~~~

My alarm had roused me half an hour ago and I had showered before heading for the kitchen in my bathrobe. Setting up the coffee machine was definitely a priority this morning. I felt groggy; not completely awake, even after the shower. I made sure I chose an extra strong blend and then I opened the fridge and stared into it, trying to decide whether I should prepare a cooked breakfast or have something lighter.

I jumped at the sound of someone clearing their throat behind me. _Shit!_ I had completely forgotten about Theo. I turned and he was standing in the doorway, a towel wrapped around his waist, smiling apologetically at me. "Sorry," he said. "Didn't mean to startle you."

I offered a grin of my own when I had recovered. "Are you hungry?" I asked him. "I can't decide what to have."

He pushed himself away from the door and pulled out a chair. "Do you have any yogurt?" he asked.

I scoffed. "My name is Nikolaos Katsaros. What do you think?"

Theo laughed. "That's like asking if the Pope is Catholic, isn't it." I nodded, grinning at him. "Fair point," he conceded. "Let's play at being Greek. Yogurt, honey and fruit. Show me where the fruit is. I'll chop."

I directed him to the fruit and gave him a chopping board and knife and I finished off the coffee. Soon we were sitting at the table eating a breakfast that resembled something my mother could have been proud of. I had even found some kasseri and feta in the fridge, along with a few cooked meats and I had laid them out on a platter with some psomi.

It seemed Theo was like me - ravenously hungry after too much alcohol and not enough sleep, rather than hung over. The coffee was welcome too. I had to set up the machine twice over before we were both satisfied. Finally, with a glance at the clock on the microwave, Theo stood.

"I should get dressed and head out," he said. "Carl will be complaining if I'm late." He gave me a wink as if to suggest he didn't really care if his manager complained. But I stood too.

"You know, we never did exchange phone numbers," I suggested. "Do you want to?"

"Sure," he answered. "Let me get my phone." He made for the doorway and I followed, already having made up my mind that clearing away the breakfast things could wait until after work tonight. I had hung up his coat and my jacket near the front door last night, before showing Theo to his bedroom. As we headed in that direction to retrieve our phones, there was a loud knock at the front door. I unlocked it and pulled it open.

"Hey," said Chris.

"Oh, hey, I wasn't expecting you," I replied, ushering him inside.

"I called first," he said as he came in and I started to close the door behind him. "But there was no answer so I thought I'd come over. I wanted to apologise for yester--"

I turned around, wondering why he'd stopped talking mid-sentence, and then I realised why. Chris and Theo were staring at each other in silence. Then Chris turned to me, his face a little red.

"You remember Theo?" I asked. "Theo, this is my friend Chris. I'm not sure if you know each other." I guessed they might but I didn't know for sure.

"He stayed the night?" Chris asked me.

"Well, yeah," I replied. "It was late and I... Wait, why am I explaining myself to you?" I suddenly felt a little indignant. What did it matter to Chris who I allowed to stay in my own apartment?

"I think I'll go and finish getting dressed," Theo said. I looked at him and realised he was trying to contain his laughter. His cheeks were a little puffed out and his eyes were sparkling. I couldn't contain mine and I sniggered. That set him off and he laughed all the way down the hallway to his bedroom.

Chris watched him go and then turned to me. "What's going on?" he asked. I stopped grinning when I saw how serious his face was. He actually looked hurt.

"What do you mean?" I asked. "Nothing's going on."

"I called you and messaged you this morning," he continued. "I've had a shit night, feeling so bad for leaving you on your own yesterday - and then I come round here and find you and him, all cosy and domesticated _and_ nearly naked."

"What? We've just had a shower and breakfast. He stayed the night." I pulled my bathrobe a little tighter around me, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious. And then my words failed me as it dawned on me what Chris was insinuating. My mouth fell open and heat rushed to my face. Surely he couldn't think...

His eyes fell to the carpet. "I think I'd better leave," he mumbled.

I wasn't going to disagree with him. I could feel myself getting annoyed. Yes, leaving would be the best thing he could do right now. I opened the front door and found myself staring down at the carpet too. I couldn't look at him. Chris shuffled through the door and I closed it behind him before resting my forehead against the cool wood. I was angry. How dare he? On so many levels, that was wrong.

"Hey," Theo said behind me. I turned to find him fully dressed and with a sympathetic look on his face. "I heard what he said. I'm sorry if I've caused you any trouble."

I sighed and shook my head. "No trouble. Don't worry about it." I frowned. "You would think, that after all these years, I would know how his mind works but I really don't," I conceded.

"Still, it's my fault," replied Theo. "I hope you can work things out."

"No it's not." I shook my head again. "It's not your fault at all. I'll talk to him when we've both cooled down. We'll work it out."

Theo stepped forward and unhooked his coat from the rack. "I've scribbled my phone number down on a piece of paper. It's in your bedroom. If you want to go out for another drink sometime, give me a call."

I nodded. "I will. Thanks." I opened the front door again. "I enjoyed last night."

"Me too," he said as he stepped out into the corridor. "And this morning." He turned to face me and grinned, a mischievous gleam in his eye. "I told you he was jealous, didn't I?"

I huffed out a laugh. "Go to work, will you?"

I heard him chortling all the way to the elevator.

# Chapter 11

After one of the most annoying and unproductive days at work that I had suffered for some time, I was elated to finally unlock my apartment door and step through it, intending to shut the whole world out when I closed it behind me. I hung up my coat, after shaking it a little. It was pouring with rain outside.

I grabbed my phone out of the inside pocket and stuffed it in my jeans then I made my way to the kitchen. The mess from breakfast reminded me of this morning. I sighed and began to clear up, wondering whether I should give Chris a call to talk about it. And then I decided I wouldn't. We could probably both use a couple of days to think over what had happened.

As I prepared dinner, I realised that I was probably being a little harsh. Chris had been through a lot lately so maybe it was understandable that his emotional responses were a little screwy and his behaviour was out of character. I resolved to eat and then call him.

After eating, I showered and changed into something comfortable, which basically meant a t-shirt and sweatpants, and then I made some coffee and settled myself down on the sofa. I turned on the TV and flipped through a few channels but nothing grabbed me so I muted the sound and picked up my phone. The trouble was, I didn't know what to say to Chris. I didn't really want to cause another argument, and I didn't want to get annoyed with him. And I didn't want to say the wrong thing and make him angry with me. As I was scrolling through my contacts to bring up his number, the damn thing rang and I nearly dropped it.

"I guess our date is off," Chris said when I answered.

"Huh?" I didn't know what he was talking about.

"Kylie," he reminded me.

"Oh, no. Definitely not," I replied. "I'd still like to go. That is, if you don't mind." I realised that he might be trying to call it off so I had to give him the chance to say that he didn't want to go.

There was a sigh on the other end of the line. "No, it's fine," he said. "I'll get the tickets."

I chewed my lip and stared up at the ceiling. He didn't sound very keen on the idea. "Don't bother," I told him. "You obviously don't want to. Forget it." _Dammit!_ I could feel myself getting annoyed again. What the hell was wrong with us?

The line went dead. _Fuck!_

~~~~

I tried calling him back, twice. He didn't answer. I couldn't believe this. It seemed like every other day we had something to fall out over. We had created more arguments and misunderstandings, over the last few weeks, than we'd had in the previous five years. Not since we had lived together had we managed to piss each other off quite so much. Back then, we had irritated each other with our habits. He would empty the fridge of milk and then forget to buy more. I would leave lights on and he would wander around our home turning them off after me. He would never wash pans; I would leave dirty laundry on the bathroom floor. The usual kind of stuff that happened when you lived with someone. At the time, we had argued, but none of it was really important. Not like now.

I didn't know what to do. And I didn't know who to talk to about it. And I decided that there was no point in sitting here and getting all frustrated so I reached for the TV remote, turned off the box and went to my bedroom to change into some more suitable clothing.

I picked up the piece of paper from my nightstand and typed Theo's number into my phone then I sent him a message, so that he would have my number. His reply came almost immediately.

~~~~

I pushed open the door to _Sasha's_ and had a moment of déjà vu. I was back here after less than twenty four hours. Then I chuckled to myself as I realised this was possibly only the second time I had ever walked into a gay bar both sober and alone. What was the world coming to?

Theo was behind the counter and he grinned as I approached. "Hello stranger," he said when I was within earshot.

"Hello back," I replied as I grabbed a bar stool. He came to stand in front of me. "How has your day been?" I asked. "Better than mine, I hope."

He frowned at me. "Why so bad?"

"Oh, just... well, everything really." I sat down.

"In that case, give me five minutes and then you can tell me all about it." He opened one of the fridges, pulled out a bottle of Amstel, popped off the cap and set it down in front of me. "In the meantime, drink that." He winked at me and then sauntered off to the other end of the bar. I didn't even have a chance to thank him for the beer. I watched him as he chatted to a couple of his bar staff then he disappeared through a doorway.

I picked up the bottle, swivelled on the stool and took a look around the bar. It was busier than last night. I brought the beer to my lips and then nearly choked on my first mouthful as my gaze landed on Chris. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. He was staring at me, a look of displeasure on his face. _Great!_ What had I done to annoy him now?

I set the beer down, hopped off the stool and headed over to him.

"Didn't take you long," he said as I reached him.

"What? What exactly didn't take me long?" I asked.

He narrowed his eyes at me and then he looked over my shoulder and sighed. "Your boyfriend's arrived," he said. "Don't keep him waiting, will you?" With that, he turned his back on me.

I bit my tongue. I was fuming. I wanted to grab him and shake him. He was being a total dick and it was completely unnecessary. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, counted to five and then turned on my heel and strode back to the counter.

"Uh-oh!" Theo said as I picked up my bottle again and took several long gulps. "Are things still awkward between you two?"

"Awkward?" I laughed. "That's one way of describing it."

"Because of this morning?"

I shook my head. "Not just this morning, no. Things have been a little weird for a couple of weeks." I let out a sigh and set the beer down. What was I missing? This wasn't just about Chris' relationship going up in smoke, or the stress of the HIV tests, surely. There had to be something else. "I have no idea what's going on," I admitted.

"Come on," Theo stated. "We're getting out of here." He slung an arm around my shoulder and steered me towards the exit. I resisted the urge to look back and see what Chris was doing. I wanted to, but I was annoyed and I was a little upset, and if I had seen him scowling at me again I would have been tempted to go over there and punch him.

Outside, Theo hailed a passing taxi, which surprised me. "Where are we going?" I asked.

"Away from here," was his response.

~~~~

After around twenty minutes, Theo directed the taxi to stop outside a large pub in a small village. It was an old-fashioned place that looked like it was around a hundred years old. I imagined that, inside, we would find roaring fires and old men sitting around tables, playing cards. I wasn't wrong about the fires, which was good because it was raining again and decidedly chilly outside.

"My local pub," Theo announced as we reached the counter. My eyebrows rose and I looked at him.

"You live around here?" I realised that was a stupid question as soon as it had left my mouth. He had just told me as much.

He nodded anyway. "Yep, I have a cottage in the village," he said.

"Nice," I replied. Not that I would want to live so far from the city right now, but maybe one day, when I was old, moving away from the hustle and bustle might have a certain appeal.

Theo chuckled. "I can tell from your face you didn't mean that," he said. I grinned and shrugged.

"I was just being polite," I said. "What would you like to drink?"

"Ah," he said. "There's a reason we came here." He held up a finger and a female bartender waved at him, bent to retrieve a bottle from a fridge then brought it over, along with two wine glasses. I grabbed the bottle as soon as she set it down.

«Ρετσίνα!» I looked at Theo. "You're kidding me. They sell retsina in here?"

He looked at me with a smug expression. "They do since I moved into the village."

I laughed and read the label again. It was a decent bottle too. The last time I had drunk retsina was the last time I had been to Greece. "My day has just got a whole lot better," I told Theo, shaking my head.

"Good to hear," he replied.

~~~~

"So, tell me about you and Chris," Theo said as he topped up my glass. We had taken a table in front of one of the fireplaces and we were both currently slouched in two large armchairs, drinking our second bottle of retsina.

"You mean me and Chris just recently, or from the beginning?" I asked.

"Either," he replied.

"Okay, we met at college, almost ten years ago," I began. "We hit it off right away. We moved into a place together during our second year in college and we lived together for another four years. He moved out to buy a place with my cousin." I stopped there, not sure that I should go into detail about his relationship with Stephen.

"Your cousin?"

I nodded. "Yes, my cousin Stephen. I introduced them to each other."

Theo nodded slowly. "But you and Chris... You weren't..."

"Weren't what?" I asked. He raised his eyebrows. "Oh!" I realised what he was asking. "No, no. We weren't..." I shook my head emphatically.

"I know you said you weren't gay, but..."

"Nope."

"So you're clueless then," he stated.

"What do you mean?" I reached for my glass. "Clueless regarding why we're not getting along? Kind of, yes."

"No, I mean clueless regarding how he feels about you."

I took the glass away from my mouth again and stared at him. "Excuse me?"

Theo sighed. "Yep, there you go. Clueless." He picked up his drink and took a sip, watching me over the rim of his glass. I just stared back at him. My mind had gone blank.

# Chapter 12

I headed for the men's room where I took a leak, washed my hands and then splashed a little cold water on my face. I couldn't believe where that conversation had led. Theo was wrong; I knew that much. He didn't really know me and he didn't know Chris at all. It was ridiculous. I stared at myself in the mirror, wondering why I felt so... I don't know. It was a weird feeling. Sort of like the feeling you get when you're strapped into a roller-coaster but it hasn't started moving yet.

Maybe it was the retsina. I hadn't had any for a while. No, scratch that. Retsina doesn't do that. Maybe it was a combination of going out too often, drinking too much and not getting enough sleep. Yes, that was probably it. And it could be remedied by a decent night's sleep and cutting back on the alcohol. Maybe I should plan a weekend where I hit the gym, eat healthily and drink nothing but fruit juice and water for a couple of days.

I pushed myself away from the wash basin and headed back into the pub. I sighed when I saw the ούζο on the table. Theo had evidently been to the bar again. It was a little late for ouzo in my opinion, but I guess one wouldn't do any harm.

"I didn't think I needed to ask," Theo said as I took my seat again.

"You mean the ouzo?" I said. He nodded. "Well, I don't normally finish off the evening with ouzo, but I'll make an exception this time." I picked up the glass. «Στην υγειά μας!»

"Cheers!" replied Theo and he winked at me before taking a gulp. "Anyway," he continued. "What do you mean by 'finish off the evening'? Are you leaving?"

I looked around for a clock and couldn't see one so I pulled out my phone. "It's late," I confirmed. "I should call a cab."

He shook his head. "No need. I'll return the favour from last night. We can be back at my place in less than five minutes. And we can share a taxi back to town in the morning."

I sipped my ouzo as I considered his offer. Yeah, why not! I realised that if I went home I would probably think too much. And that wouldn't be a good thing. I nodded my assent. "Thanks."

~~~~

He showed me around his little cottage. It was cute. That was the only word for it. Although it was decorated in a minimal way and the furniture was modern, it had an old Greek feel about it. White walls and lots of wood and iron. I could see what he had been aiming for. He had succeeded in bringing a little bit of Greece to this island. One thing was absent though. The crosses and icons that were a major part of Greek Orthodoxy. I wasn't entirely surprised. I could tell he was proud of the place though. It made me wonder what he had thought of my place; a nondescript apartment that could have been anyone's apartment. I had never really bothered trying to make my place reflect my personality. It was functional and I didn't spend an awful lot of time there anyway.

"How long have you lived here?" I asked as he showed me to the living room, a bottle of ouzo clutched in one hand and a carafe of water in the other. I made a mental note not to drink much more of that stuff.

"Seven years, I think. My dad helped me to buy it in return for taking over the bar from him." He flopped down on the sofa after placing the drinks and a couple of glasses on the coffee table and then he patted the cushion next to his. I took a seat and watched him pour the ouzo and top it up with water.

"The bar was your father's place?"

Theo nodded. "Yep. My dad is gay." My surprise must have been evident in my expression. He chuckled. "It's not unheard of, you know? Gay men do have kids."

"I know," I answered. "I just don't really think about these things, I guess."

He nodded again. "He was totally closeted for years, apparently. Had girlfriends, got married, had me. Then he had a kind of mid-life crisis and disappeared for a while when I was nine years old. When he came back, he announced that he had a boyfriend, he was coming out and he wasn't going to hide what he was anymore. He opened _Sasha's_ and my mother divorced him."

"That must have been difficult," I suggested.

"It was awkward at first, but no more than any divorce, I guess." He sipped his drink.

"Where's your dad now? Is he still running a bar somewhere?" I picked up my glass.

Theo grinned. "Yes. He and his boyfriend run a place on Mykonos. They have never been happier."

I smiled too. It sounded idyllic. I had never been to Mykonos but I had seen photos. It looked like a nice place. I guess I had always wanted to retire to Greece one day. Go back to the homeland. I think it's in the DNA.

"So... Changing the subject," Theo ventured. "For a guy who professes not to be gay, you do seem to hang around Queen Street a lot."

I looked at him. "Really? Is that what you think?" He nodded slowly. I shook my head. "I don't actually," I continued. "It's only recently. Chris has been having a hard time and he wanted to go there so I went with him."

"You didn't go there with him tonight." He raised his eyebrows at me and a sly grin appeared. I sighed and shook my head.

"Don't try to make more of it than there is. I went there to meet you."

He looked smug for a moment and then his expression turned to thoughtful. "Hmmm," he said.

"What?" I asked.

"You might not like it, but I'll tell you anyway." Theo set his glass down and stretched his arms along the back of the sofa. I twisted my body a little to face him, intrigued. "There was a distinct difference between how you looked and behaved last night and how you were tonight when you entered my bar." I frowned at him, not understanding. "You acted differently when you walked in tonight. There was a different vibe coming from you."

I scoffed. "I was sober."

He chuckled. "That wasn't it. You were dressed differently and you acted differently. More confident. More at ease. People noticed you as soon as you walked in. Heads turned."

I shook my head. "What are you trying to say?" I swallowed and set my glass down. That ouzo wasn't sitting well in my stomach.

"I'm not trying to say anything. I'm telling you. You were different. And I would say that seventy five percent of the men in my bar tonight watched you, from the moment you walked in, until the moment we left. Including your friend Chris, even though I saw him turn his back on you." He reached for his glass again and took a sip. "You should have seen his face when I put my arm around you. That's why I know what I said earlier is correct. You're either blind or stupid. Or maybe you're just trying to ignore it, but you know it's true. Your friend Chris has had the hots for you for some time. Which isn't surprising really."

"Huh?" That unsettling roller-coaster feeling had returned.

"Oh come on! Do I have to spell it out? Even _I_ have the hots for you. Why are you acting so dumb?"

I shut my eyes and shook my head. "Because I don't want to know."

"Too late," he replied.

I stood. "I think I should leave," I said.

"Niko, sit down," he retorted. "I'm not going to do anything about it." I slowly took my seat again, feeling like I had just been shouted at by my mother. "Not unless you want me to," he added. I looked at him. Was he serious? This wasn't funny. "Ο Χριστός! Loosen up!" he said, his voice rising. "You're so easy to wind up. No wonder you're always fighting with your best friend."

"I'm not," I mumbled. I was feeling confused. Maybe I had drunk too much yet again. My insides were churning and my head was definitely not clear enough to be having a conversation like this. "I think I need to sleep."

Theo sighed. "Alright. Come on, I'll show you to your room." He stood, and I did too. I followed him out to the hall and up the stairs. "By the way, we have to share the bathroom," he said. "I don't have an en-suite." I nodded dumbly. He pushed open a door and gestured for me to go inside. I stepped forward and he grabbed my arm and halted me. "Hey," he whispered. I looked up at him. He was slightly taller than me. Not by much, but enough that I had to look up. "I know what I said earlier, but..." He leaned closer to me and I automatically took a step back. I felt my shoulder blades hit the wall behind me. "I want to try this," he murmured and he closed the distance between us. When his mouth landed on mine I froze. I couldn't move. But my heart rate shot up and I was flooded with adrenaline.

Fight or flight. I didn't feel capable of doing either. He kissed me and, strangely, somewhere in my mind, I began comparing his kiss to that of my last girlfriend. He was actually better at it than she was. My surprise made me pull away and I jerked my head back and banged it on the wall behind me. "Ow!" I exclaimed, reaching up to rub the sore spot. Theo chuckled and stepped back.

"Sorry," he said. "I'll let you sleep." He turned away and walked down the short corridor to his bedroom and I stared after him, feeling totally bemused and slightly out of breath.

~~~~

When I awoke, it took me a few minutes to work out where the hell I was. I lay there, thinking about all the things that had happened last night and I wondered how much the ouzo had contributed to the way the evening had ended. I hadn't had much ouzo, but combined with the retsina, it had obviously had some effect. I made up my mind to quit the drinking for a while. I was also slightly perturbed by the renewed hit of adrenaline I received, when I remembered the very end of the night. I swallowed and realised my mouth was dry. I needed to use the bathroom.

I pushed myself out of bed and made my way to the small bathroom that Theo had shown me last night. I took a drink of water and then took a piss, and then I realised with dismay that I had nothing to brush my teeth with. Ugh!

There was a glass by the basin. I filled it with water and I took it with me when I headed back to the bedroom. I rummaged around in my clothes, looking for my phone because I had no clue what time it was and I hadn't set the alarm before I had fallen asleep. Sitting on the bed, I stared at the screen. It was still early. Earlier than I had anticipated. I listened for a moment. There were no sounds coming from anywhere in the house. So, I climbed back into bed and arranged the pillows so that I could sit comfortably. I looked at my phone screen again. Why was that date important? I couldn't think.

There was a knock at the door and then it swung open. Theo stood there for a second, looking as though he was trying to decide whether to come in. "Good morning," I told him. I motioned with my head for him to enter. It was his house, after all. I reached for that glass of water and took a few gulps. Theo grinned at me and stepped inside. From behind his back he produced a towel and what looked like a toothbrush, still in its box.

"I thought you might want these," he offered. He moved forward and dropped them at the bottom of the bed then he surprised me by sitting on the edge of the bed, next to my thighs. I moved my legs a little further over, out of his way. "How did you sleep?" he inquired, staring at me.

I shrugged. "Fine, I think."

"No bad dreams?" He grinned. "Ouzo always gives me bad dreams."

"Why do you drink it, then?" I asked.

"Habit," he replied. "So, no bad dreams?" I shook my head. "Any good ones?"

I chuckled nervously. "If I had, I wouldn't tell you," I replied.

"Fair enough," he said with a shrug. "Listen, I have to be back at the bar by nine so I'm going to call for a taxi to pick us up at eight forty. Is that alright?"

I nodded. "Sure."

He stared at me for a moment longer then I saw his eyes drop to my chest. I had the sudden urge to pull up the covers around my chin and I looked away, fighting it.

"Sorry," he said then he patted my thigh and stood. "I'm going to steal the bathroom first," he added, before striding out of the room.

I slumped against the pillows, my eyes screwed tightly shut, while I fought to dispel the unexpected tingling sensation that had overtaken me.

# Chapter 13

Bad dreams, good dreams... I couldn't decide which category to file them in. One thing that I knew for sure was that Theo was never going to find out what I had been dreaming about last night.

After my shower, Theo had provided me with enough strong coffee to get me functioning and that, in turn, had allowed me to remember why the date was important. My sister's birthday party at my parents' house. The last few days had been so chaotic and strange that I had kind of lost track of time and I hadn't realised it was Saturday already.

On a whim, as we were travelling in the taxi back to Queen Street, I asked Theo if he would like to go to Thea's party. I fully expected him to say no - perhaps even a part of me was hoping he would say no - but he said yes. So I gave him the address and, as the taxi drew to a halt outside _Sasha's_ , he told me he would try to leave the bar earlier than he normally would on a Saturday.

I jumped out of the taxi with Theo, having decided I needed the walk home. I could have kept the cab and allowed it to take me that little bit further, right to my apartment block, but the exercise and the fresh air would be welcome. And it was a nice morning. There was no sign of the rain we had endured recently.

"Do you want to come inside?" Theo asked, just as I was about to say goodbye to him.

I shook my head. "No, I should definitely head home," I told him. "I'll see you later anyway. If you turn up."

"Don't worry, I'll be there," he answered.

"I wasn't worried," I said. I smirked and turned my back on him, heading down Queen Street in the direction of my place. He shouted something after me. I didn't catch it but I carried on walking anyway, having realised that what I had just said could have been interpreted as flirting. I shook my head and picked up the pace. What was _wrong_ with me?

~~~~

I could hear the music blaring from halfway down the road. That sound system of my dad's was some toy. I wish I could afford something half as good. I imagined his face as I walked around to the back of the house. The music wasn't really his style at all. If he had been able to control the playlist today, it would have been playing tunes that you would hear if you were watching 'Zorba the Greek' but that wasn't suitable for a twenty three year old's party. Instead, his precious sound system was pumping out trance, and there was no doubt that - later - my dad's ears would be subjected to Showtek, R3hab and Ummet Ozcan. And most likely some Martin Garrix, Julian Jordan, Calvin Harris and Sander van Doorn. And definitely some Adam Beyer and Alex Di Stefano, if I had any say in the matter.

I opened the side gate, slipped through and closed it again behind me. The garden was already pretty packed, although it was mildly surprising to see that nobody was in the pool yet. Maybe it was a little early for that. I took a quick glance around and failed to spot my sister so I made my way into the kitchen.

"Niko!" My mother greeted me with outstretched arms and an apron full of flour. I leaned forward and pecked her cheek, trying to avoid the flour.

"What are you baking?" I asked. The room smelled of bread and τυρόπιτα. "Shouldn't you stop now? There's enough food here to feed an army, I'm sure."

She shook her head. "Just a little more τυρόπιτα. It always goes down so well."

"Where's Thea?" I asked. "I have her gift here." I held up the bag containing my Amazon purchases and a birthday card.

"Upstairs, getting changed again," she informed me. "Just put her gift in the dining room. That's what I keep telling everyone else." I nodded and left the kitchen, and my mother returned to making more cheese pie.

In the hallway, I ran into Stephanos, who gave me a hug as if he hadn't seen me for months. "What was that for?" I asked.

"Can't I hug my baby brother?" he asked in return.

"You've been drinking ouzo already, haven't you?" I accused.

He grinned at me. "I might have. Or, I might have found that stash of raki that dad doesn't know that we know he has."

"Oh, not already!" I sighed. "It's too early for you to be so drunk. Pace yourself," I told him. "And stay away from the pool. I mean it." He chuckled and I squeezed past him to get to the dining room. Things were going to become messy later.

~~~~

The party was going well; as well as they ever do. Our family's parties were legendary in this neighbourhood. The whole street had been invited which meant that none of the neighbours would complain about the noise - and they all enjoyed the free food and booze anyway. I had been sociable and said hi to - and spent a little time with - all of my various family members, which was no mean feat considering there were around thirty or forty of them here. I had helped my dad and his brothers to set up the barbecues, and the cooking was well underway. I had helped my mother and her friends in the kitchen, for a while. Finally, I had made sure that the pool house was stocked up again with beer, wine, fruit juice, spirits and ice.

I had kept myself busy for a time, but now that I wasn't, I began to think about things that I had been avoiding thinking about all day. Such as, whether Stephen would turn up because he wasn't here yet. Such as, what was Chris doing today and should I try calling him again? Such as, why the hell had I invited Theo to this party?

I was on edge and I knew it. I was sitting in a reclining chair near the back door and watching the party happening all around me, not really feeling in the mood to join in. My eyes kept drifting to the right, to the gate at the side of the house, where a steady stream of people came and went. Every time someone new came in, I got the jitters for a second, until I recognised who they were. I began to hope that Theo would call and say he was stuck at the bar. This was driving me crazy. Why the fuck had I invited him? And why was I so nervous? Okay, he had kissed me and he had flirted with me a little. I needed to get past that. He was a nice guy and I liked his company. And we had a lot in common. And he was charismatic and entertaining. And _shut up!_

When I found myself biting my nails I jumped up and headed over to the pool house to get some alcohol. My promise to myself not to drink hadn't lasted very long. My liver was probably crying out for a break. But I couldn't sit there any longer with just orange juice for company. I poured myself a small vodka and tonic and made my way around the pool back to my seat. My eyes automatically slid to the right again as someone came through the gate. _Shit!_ I didn't like the way my body was reacting today. I turned my head away from him, hoping he hadn't seen me - and then I realised how stupid that was. I shut my eyes for a second and took a breath as I told myself off. Then I placed my glass on the floor under my seat and stood.

Theo's eyes were scanning the party, presumably looking for me, and when he finally locked his gaze with mine, he broke into a toothy grin. I automatically smiled back and then I made my feet move, telling myself to get a grip.

He held up a bag and I heard the clink of glass hitting glass. "You need any booze?" he asked.

"Hardly," I replied. "Our pool house is as well stocked as your bar. I'll show you in a moment."

Theo grinned. "Good," he replied. "Because I thought I would give this to your father."

"Oh? What is it?" He opened the bag to let me have a look inside, where I saw two bottles of Metaxa. One five star and one seven star. I chuckled and looked up at him. "My dad is going to love you," I said.

"That's the plan," he answered with another smile.

"Let me take you to meet him," I suggested. "He's over by the barbecues. Then we can get you a drink."

"No, then I meet your mother," Theo reminded me

"Yep, okay. Come and meet the old man." I started walking in the direction of my father and uncles. Theo fell into step beside me. "Did you have any trouble getting away from the bar?" I asked, just for something to say to avoid any silence.

"Not at all," he replied. "When you're the boss, you can do pretty much what you like."

I nodded as we reached my father's barbecue. He was preparing lamb. "Dad, I'd like you to meet a friend," I said and my dad looked up curiously. "This is Theo..." I realised I didn't know his last name and I looked to him for help.

"Theodore Demetriou. Hi, Mr Katsaros." He held out his hand and my dad shook it after wiping his own hand on a towel that was stuck through his belt.

"Nice to meet you, son," my dad said. He called pretty much everyone 'son'. Except for Thea and my mother, of course. Theo held out the Metaxa to my dad and the old man's eyes lit up as he reached into the bag and pulled out the seven star. Yep, my dad loved him already. "Theodore, you say?" my dad asked, looking up at him again. "Do you prefer to be called Theo?"

The man nodded. "Yes please." They began to chat, and I tuned it out because the subject was my father's favourite when he met another Greek - where their family came from. I allowed them to talk for a few minutes and then I interrupted.

"Dad, Theo hasn't met your wife yet," I said. I knew that would do the trick. He shooed us away and turned back to his barbecue.

I led Theo into the kitchen to meet my mother and then, after what seemed like an age, I was allowed to take him over to the pool house. He laughed when he saw just how well stocked it was. I got the impression he hadn't believed me earlier.

~~~~

The party was becoming more raucous as more people arrived and more people became drunk. I was still pretty sober, deliberately so. I could tell that Theo was getting tipsy though, and it was amusing to watch him interacting with people as we wandered around. Or, more precisely, watching people interacting with him. He was a definite hit. Everyone seemed to want to hang around with him. Including my sister, who managed to irritate me more than once as she came up with reasons to drag him around with her. He was polite about it, but each opportunity he got to break away from her grasp, he took it, and he came over to sit or stand with me again.

It was when we were sitting together near the back door that I spotted Stephen, over by the pool house. I hadn't noticed him arrive at the party. But there he was, standing among a group of people, having a great time by the look of him. I watched him for a little while, wondering whether I should go over and talk to him. At one point, he looked over in my direction and when our eyes met, I saw him narrow his, and then he deliberately turned away. And then he laughed at something that someone said and he threw his arm around the guy standing next to him. I sat up a little straighter. Was that his new boyfriend? Was that the guy he had been unfaithful with? The guy he had left Chris for?

"What's wrong?" asked Theo. I realised that I hadn't been listening to whatever Theo had been saying. I looked at him and then my eyes moved back to Stephen, almost of their own accord. At that very moment Stephen threw me a filthy look and turned away again. I frowned. What was _that_ for? Theo had followed my gaze, apparently. "Oh, Stephen," he said. "That's your cousin?" I nodded. "I've seen him around," Theo supplied. "He's you're friend's ex, right?" I nodded again.

"Would you excuse me a moment?" I asked and I stood. Not waiting for a reply from Theo, I made my way around the pool, heading straight for Stephen. I wanted to know why I was on the receiving end of his disparaging looks. What was his problem with me?

I stopped in front of his little group. "Stephen, can I talk to you for a moment?"

He frowned at me then smiled. "Sure, Nick," he replied. I indicated with my head that I wanted him to follow me. I walked around the side of the pool house and waited.

"Why the dirty looks?" I asked as soon as he appeared. He stuck his hands in his pockets and shrugged.

"I don't know what you mean," he replied nonchalantly, looking down at his feet. If he was trying to annoy me, he was succeeding.

"What did you do to Chris?"

He looked up again and laughed. "What did _I_ do to _him?_ Haven't you got that the wrong way around? You should be asking what _he_ did to _me_. But you won't, because you already know."

"What?" I frowned. "What does that mean?"

"Oh, come on!" Stephen pulled his hands out of his jeans and started walking towards me. He got right up in my face. "There's no need to act all innocent now, is there? It's over. You won!" He held his hands up. "I admit defeat. I'm moving on. You should be happy."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked him. He wasn't making any sense. I was conscious that we were raising our voices so I grabbed his arm and pulled him around to the back of the pool house. I pushed him against the wall. "Explain," I told him.

He rolled his eyes at me. The little bastard actually rolled his eyes. I was going to lose my temper. "You're incredible, you know that?" he said, shaking his head. "Why are you behaving like this? I fully intended to be polite and civilised with you today, but..." He shook his head again. "Just seeing you, sitting there enjoying yourself, it got to me. I'm fucking miserable and you're having a great time. And where _is_ Chris? You didn't want to bring him?"

I stepped closer. "Chris isn't here because he didn't want to run into _you_."

"I bet he didn't!" Stephen laughed.

I was angry now. "What's so fucking funny?"

He stopped laughing. His expression changed and I could see he was getting angry too. Then he totally took me by surprise. He grabbed my shirt, twisted us around and slammed my back against the pool house wall. "You!" he shouted, pointing a finger at me. "You're funny. You're hilarious. Five years, Nick! For five years I had to compete with you. And when you finally win, you get angry with me? I don't believe you." He backed away, shaking his head at the ground. I was completely confused. His words were sinking in but they didn't make any sense.

"Why are you competing with me?" I asked.

"I'm not. Not any more. I told you. I gave up. I decided to go because I couldn't stand it any longer." He stared at me. "I loved him. I _still_ love him. Why did you have to ruin everything?"

I shook my head. "What did I ruin? You ruined it by cheating on him."

"I didn't fucking cheat!" he shouted.

"Well why did you give him a condom?" That was how all this had started wasn't it?

Stephen's mouth dropped open. "Seriously? Because I didn't want to catch whatever _he_ had! He's the one who cheated, as you know all too well!"

_Wait a minute..._ _Why would I know?_ "Chris doesn't tell me everything, Stephen," I said. "If he cheated, do you really think he would tell me about it?"

He looked at me as if I was speaking Chinese or some other language he didn't understand. Then he walked right up to me again. He lowered his voice to an almost whisper. "Don't you think it's time you stopped the act? I've met some closeted people in my time but you take the prize. There's denial and then there's denial. Your performances are worthy of an Oscar."

I went cold as the pieces fell into place. Stephen really thought Chris had been cheating on him. _With me_. I shook my head. "No." How could he possibly think that? "How could..." I couldn't get my words out. "Why would you think that?" I felt a little sick. He really thought that?

Stephen grabbed my neck and brought his face really close so our foreheads were almost touching. "Why would I think that? I lived with him for five years, Nick! I watched him around you and you around him. I heard him talking to you in his sleep. I had to lay there and hear him calling your name in his dreams. But shall I tell you what finally did it? The last straw?" He leaned in to whisper. I wasn't sure I wanted to know. "When I was making love to him and he cried out _your_ name when he came."

I closed my eyes. No, this wasn't right. It couldn't be. My mind was racing, trying to think things through. But it wasn't coming up with any answers.

"So," Stephen continued to whisper. "Like I said, you win. I give up." He gave me a shove and my eyes opened in time to see him disappear around the side of the pool house.

I slid down to the ground and stared at the grass. _What the actual fuck?_ How had that happened? Why was it all my fault? Why hadn't I seen any of this? And why did everyone suddenly seem to think I was queer? My chest grew tight; it felt like I couldn't breathe. I tilted my head back and looked up at the sky. I took deep breaths. _Shit!_ Was I having a panic attack or something? I banged my fist against the wall of the pool house. Tears stung my eyes.

I didn't get it. I felt frustrated and angry. And a little scared. I brought my knees up, rested my arms on them and put my head down. I hadn't cried for years.

"Niko? Are you alright?" I recognised Theo's voice.

I turned my head away and wiped my eyes. "What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Well, I saw Stephen reappear and when you didn't, I wondered if you were okay."

No, I wasn't okay. This was messed up. I shook my head. "Go away." I didn't want anyone to see me like this. I kept my eyes shut and wished him away. I swiped at my eyes again. The rustling of his clothes to my left told me Theo had ignored me and then I felt his hand on my back, rubbing up and down softly. That was my undoing. I sobbed.

Theo wrapped me up in his arms and I allowed it. I pushed my face into his shoulder and I hid from the world while my mind tried to digest all that had just happened. When did everything get so complicated? My life had been perfectly fine a few weeks ago and now it was unravelling. Or, my mind was unravelling. I was crying like a kid. I was making a fool of myself in the presence of someone I had only known for a couple of days. This was stupid and embarrassing. It dawned on me that I was also making a mess of Theo's shirt and I lifted my head up and tried to wipe my face again.

Theo pulled back a little and I looked at him, worried about what expression I was going to find on his face, but he gazed back at me, a soft smile on his lips and the skin around his eyes slightly crinkled. Then he reached up and pushed my hair back behind my ear. It was such a simple gesture but it did something to me I couldn't explain. My stomach flipped over.

Scared shitless, I leaned in and kissed him.

# Chapter 14

And he kissed me back. I mean, totally kissed me back. It was nothing like that kiss at his cottage. When I realised it was actually _doing_ something to me, something I hadn't anticipated, that scared me even more and I pulled away, stood up and walked to the far end of the pool house. As if the distance would help! I kept my back to him and I leant against the wall, terrified by how that kiss had affected me. I was shaking, both inside and out.

Theo cleared his throat and I shut my eyes, scared of what he was going to say. "I think I'll go back to the party," he suggested. "Are you coming?"

I shook my head, not moving from my spot. "In a little while," I managed to reply. I wasn't going _anywhere_ until the bulge in my jeans had subsided. There was something seriously messed up about that. Besides, I had some thinking to do. And that couldn't wait, or my head might explode.

"Okay, I'll see you. In a little while," he echoed.

I breathed out a huge breath. This was _not_ how today was supposed to go down. I had just kissed a guy and now I was sporting a semi. Not only that but I had cried on his shoulder like a girl. And then I remembered the conversation - argument - with Stephen. I had heard some things from him that I could never have imagined. Was he right? I couldn't see how. Chris and I were _friends_. We had been friends for _years_. There was no way I wouldn't have known if my closest friend had been harbouring feelings for me like that. Stephen was wrong. And so was Theo. They were both so wrong.

That brought Chris to the forefront of my mind. I realised that I had to call him and talk to him. That would be the right way to clear this up. It would be a little awkward at first - bringing up the subject - but no more awkward than we had already been with each other over the past few weeks. We would resolve this and get past it and then we could go back to being friends again.

I missed my friend. After what had just happened with Theo, I knew that - under normal circumstances - Chris would have been the first person I'd have turned to. But now I couldn't even do that and the realisation hurt. There was nobody else I could talk to. I almost wanted to cry again.

What was wrong with me?

I shook my head and took a few deep breaths. I needed to pull myself together. I didn't want to analyse why I had kissed Theo. I didn't want to think about my body's reaction to that little moment, either. Mercifully, that particular reaction was disappearing, because I couldn't stand here all night. So, I needed to call Chris - tomorrow - and I needed to get back to the party. I would ignore what had happened with Theo and just try to enjoy the party. Maybe I would get drunk, despite my earlier promise to myself not to. I think I needed a drink. Deserved one, even.

I turned around - and nearly jumped out of my skin. Theo was still standing there. He was leaning with his back against the wall, one leg crossed over the other, arms folded, watching me.

"I thought you were going back to the party," I stated when I had recovered. My face heated up at the thought that he had been there the whole time. It was a good thing I hadn't talked out loud - or cried again.

Theo pushed himself away from the wall and faced me. He shrugged and then offered me a sly grin. "I lied," he said. Then he crooked a finger at me, in the universally accepted gesture that said 'come here'. Deciding to ignore the weird sensation in my insides, I attempted nonchalance as I strolled over. "Have you done enough thinking for the moment?" he asked as I reached him. Yep, I certainly had. I nodded slowly. I wanted to forget everything until tomorrow. I could think about all of it tomorrow. "Do you want me to leave?" he added.

I felt myself frowning. "Do you want to?"

He shrugged again. "It depends on whether you're going to ignore me for the rest of the evening."

"I won't," I said quickly. I knew I would become embarrassed if I thought about recent events too much, but I had invited Theo to this party and I wasn't going to let him fend for himself. Especially not with my family around. "I won't ignore you. Don't be silly."

"Good." He nodded. "Then let's go get a drink. And some food because I'm starving."

I managed a grin. I wasn't hungry in the slightest, but I could definitely use a drink, and I was relieved that Theo hadn't said anything about what had just happened between us. I began to relax a little.

~~~~

Having become bored with watching everyone around me tucking into food that I was no longer interested in, I had slipped inside and changed the music - perfectly selfishly and with no qualms whatsoever - to one of my Spotify playlists. I had then hopped over to the pool house and poured myself another drink before sitting back in my reclining chair, closing my eyes and hoping to lose myself in the songs for a while. I had already checked that Theo was still being taken care of by my mother and my brother. He was seated between the two of them, a huge plateful of something in front of him. I just wanted a moment to myself, to shut out the world and shut off my brain.

I heard movement to my right and I tried to ignore it. "So are you trying to tell me you really didn't know?" Stephen asked. _Dammit!_ I thought he had left. I controlled a sigh, turned and looked up at him. I didn't want to get into another argument with him and I didn't really want to talk about this again, but the expression on his face made me reconsider. He actually looked... hopeful? He was seeking reassurance, I realised.

"I really didn't know," I told him. "I didn't have a clue." I sat up and picked up my drink. "Whatever it is, it's one-sided, I promise you."

He took a seat on the edge of the chair next to me and stared down at the ground between his feet. I didn't know what else to say. A tricky silence stretched between us and I wanted to fill it but nothing came to mind, so I sipped my drink to give my mouth something to do other than chew the inside of my cheek. Finally Stephen laughed. "I enjoyed that little fight," he said. He sat back and smiled at me. "I haven't had an argument for ages. Not since I walked out on Chris. I think I needed to let off steam."

I chuckled with something that felt like relief. "I'm glad I could help," I replied. It occurred to me that I had needed to let off some steam too. And I was sure I still did. Maybe I needed to go to the gym tomorrow. But whatever, I wasn't going to apologise for the argument. At the time I had felt justified in what I said and I guess Stephen did too.

"Who's the guy next to Toni?" Stephen suddenly asked. I squinted over to the long table where Theo was wedged between Toni and my mother. "I've seen him around."

"Funny, he said that about you," I replied, still watching Theo chatting away to my brother. "That's Theo Demetriou. He owns _Sasha's_ on Queen Street."

"Ah, that explains it," Stephen replied. "I knew I'd seen him." I heard Stephen fidgeting in his seat and I looked back at him.

"What?" I asked. It looked like he was debating whether to say something else.

"So you _do_ frequent Queen Street?" he finally said with a smirk. "I knew I wasn't wrong about you."

I sighed, becoming irritated again. "I'm not gay," I said immediately. Then I felt my face flush as thoughts of Theo popped into my mind. I shook my head. I _wasn't_ gay. But I didn't want to think about that right now. Stephen was giving me a look that suggested I had just proven him right. I remembered the comments he'd made about me being closeted and I sighed again with exasperation. There was no way I could get out of this because Stephen would just assume I was in denial, if he'd already made up his mind. I shut my eyes and fell against the backrest of the chair. I was screwed.

Then I thought of something I _could_ say. "I have never slept with Chris. I have never wanted to sleep with him. I haven't even looked at him in that way." I opened my eyes to stare at my cousin, hoping he would believe me. "He's my friend, that's all. At least, he _was_ my friend before all this started." That's when I realised. All this awkwardness between me and Chris had started after his fight with Stephen. We were fine before that. Why hadn't I thought of that before?

Then I noticed that Stephen was giving me a dubious look, like he didn't believe a word I had said. I could feel myself getting annoyed again so I stood. I needed to walk away before I said something I might regret. "I'm going to get a drink," I said and I left Stephen sitting there.

Over in the pool house, I poured another glass of vodka before sitting down and staring across at the wall opposite me. _I wasn't gay!_ I knew that much. I wanted to shout it. I had had loads of girlfriends. I had never even _looked_ at a man in that way before. What I had told Stephen was right. I had never looked at Chris like that. I mean, I can appreciate a good looking guy. I knew what handsome was, just like I knew what was attractive in a woman. Brad Pitt was handsome. Johnny Depp was handsome.

Theo Demetriou was handsome.

_Shit!_ Why the _fuck_ had I kissed him?

That was easy, I told myself. I knew why. I had found myself vulnerable at that moment. I had been in shock after what Stephen had told me. I had been upset and Theo had been there to put an arm around me and give me comfort. It was just a moment of weakness on my part. It wouldn't happen again. I could forget about it.

I downed my vodka in a few gulps, stood and poured another one. Then I strode out of the pool house, skirted around the pool and headed into my parents' house. I decided it was time to change the music again and turn up the volume a little more. _Let's get this party started!_

~~~~

Okay, so I was well on my way to being drunk again. But the party had been in full swing for hours and I was finally having some fun and so was everyone else. Stephen had left around two hours ago, having not said another word to me, nor I to him. A bunch of new people had arrived and most of the older members of my family had gone inside or vacated the premises ages ago, leaving us to enjoy ourselves. It was a warm, humid summer evening and just right for an outdoor event such as this.

Eventually, people started to drift away and I found myself wondering whether I should also head home. And then I remembered that Theo was still around here somewhere, although I hadn't seen him for a while. I decided to track him down and tell him that I was leaving. I would call a taxi and either he could share it with me for part of his journey or he could stay here if he preferred. I found my sister and said goodnight to her after being told that my parents had already gone to bed.

I discovered Theo in the pool house, trying to hold a conversation with Stephanos and his wife, Sophie. Stephanos had been drunk for hours, though, so he wasn't making much sense. But neither was Theo. I laughed quietly as I watched them both becoming really animated and pulling faces as they tried to get their points across. I wasn't sober by any means, but I was in better shape than those two. I stepped forward and put an arm around both of them.

"I'm breaking up this party," I said. "It's time I went home. Does anyone want to share a cab to the city centre?"

"Nooo," Stephanos slurred. "We're all staying here. There's plenty of room for everyone."

I shook my head. "No, I'm not staying here. I'm leaving and I'm calling a taxi now."

"I'll leave too," Theo said and I nodded. I backed up towards the door and chuckled again as Theo and Stephanos hugged as if they had known each other for years. Sophie came to my side and whispered, "I like him."

"And so you should," I replied. "You married him."

She gave me a playful shove. "Not _Steph_ , silly!"

I grinned. She was drunk too. That wasn't surprising. I pecked her cheek and then slapped a hand on Theo's shoulder. "Coming?" I asked.

"Not yet," he replied. "But if I play my cards right..." He winked and I looked away, slightly embarrassed, as I caught his double meaning. He wasn't as wasted as I had earlier thought.

"I'm calling a cab," I said and I turned and left the pool house. "Goodnight, Steph," I shouted as an afterthought. I pulled out my phone and ordered a taxi then grabbed my jacket from where I'd left it earlier. Theo came to my side as I was pulling it on.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Of course I'm okay," I replied. "Where's your jacket? I'm ready to leave."

"It's in the kitchen. I'll go get it."

I nodded. "I'll wait out front." I headed for the gate at the side of the house. I was starting to wonder if sharing a taxi was the right move. It could be an awkward and uncomfortable ride. But at least it wouldn't last long.

The cab pulled up just as Theo joined me so I opened the door and climbed in while giving the driver instructions. I made up my mind that I would pay the fare to my place, and then Theo could take it from there because he lived farther away.

"Your family is really nice," Theo said as we got underway. "I had a great time today."

"Good," I replied. I stared through the window, not sure what else to say.

The silence was uninterrupted all the way to my apartment block. It was excruciating but I couldn't do anything about it. I was feeling uncomfortable, enclosed in that small space with him and conscious that the driver would have been able to hear anything I said.

I pulled out my wallet and handed the driver some money when he halted the car. Theo flung his door open and stepped out. "Where are you going?" I asked, bending forward so that I could look up at him.

"With you," he replied. He stooped and looked in at me. "You're not going to make me go all the way home, are you? I have to be back here early tomorrow."

# Chapter 15

What the hell was I supposed to do? I couldn't _make_ him go home, could I?

I pushed open the front door to my apartment block and headed straight for the elevator, where my frustration got the better of me and I stabbed at the call button about seven times before Theo's hand darted out and stopped me.

Shit, this wasn't good. He didn't let go of my hand. By the time the elevator doors finally opened I was a nervous wreck. The adrenaline rushing around my insides was making me feel sick and my breathing had sped up. I stepped inside and tried to pull my hand free and he still didn't let go. I hit the button for my floor with my other hand. The doors closed.

My lightning fast reflexes failed me when he turned into me, pushed my back up against the wall and pressed his mouth to mine. I didn't even have time to breathe. When one of his knees found its way between my legs and the top of his thigh aligned with my crotch I think I forgot _how_ to breathe. Familiar tingles flooded certain parts of my body and I choked back a groan. My treacherous body was betraying me again. It wasn't listening to the small voice in my brain that was whispering 'stop this, push him away and stop it now'. Instead my free hand somehow found the back of Theo's neck and my fingers pushed a path through his dark curly hair.

The elevator pinged and he stepped away from me. I was left gasping for breath and shaking. He tugged me to my own front door and asked, "Where are your keys?"

"What?" I knew that was the wrong response but I couldn't seem to manage anything else. My mind was occupied with other matters and I've never been great at multi-tasking. One thing at a time. My brain was puzzling over why I was - how I could be - attracted to this man. Because it was obvious to me now that this was happening. I was attracted to him. I was turned on by him. I was--

"Niko, your keys, where are they?"

"Oh." I fumbled in my pockets and produced a set of keys. Theo took them from me and unlocked the door then led me inside. I stood in my own hallway like an idiot while he closed and locked the door, took his jacket off and then proceeded to get me out of mine. I was scared. But I was excited too, as anyone could have seen, if only they had been able to glance down at the front of my jeans.

I didn't know what to do and I didn't know what was going to happen next. And I didn't know how I was going to react to whatever happened next. So I just stood there until Theo took the lead.

He took hold of my hand again and led me to the kitchen. He stood me in front of my coffee machine and said, "Can you make some coffee?" Not ' _will_ you make some coffee' but ' _can_ you make some'. I chuckled. Was I capable of firing up my own coffee machine? I guess we were about to find out.

He leaned against the kitchen counter and watched me as I started to make the coffee. I chanced a glance at him and he was smiling. I smiled back and it turned into another chuckle. Soon we were both laughing and I felt relief flood me. I was back in control. For now.

~~~~

We were sitting on my couch, sipping strong coffee when Theo asked, "Do you want to talk about what happened with Stephen?"

I sighed and set my coffee down. "He confirmed what you had already suggested," I told him. I wanted to leave it at that. I had already made up my mind that I would talk to Chris tomorrow, no matter how difficult that might turn out to be.

Theo pressed for further information. "It was more than that," he said. "Whatever he said really upset you. What was it that got you so upset?"

I closed my eyes and shook my head. I really didn't want to go over that again. But the thoughts had already entered my brain. How could Stephen possibly have thought that I was fucking around with Chris? The idea of it made me feel nauseous. I would never even _look_ at a guy like that.

Oh crap!

I covered my face with my hands. I wanted to hide. I was scared again. I didn't notice Theo move closer until I felt one of his hands on the back of my neck and my whole body jolted with the shock of his touch. My hands dropped away from my face and I turned and looked at him.

Then he did that thing again. The thing with my hair. Pushing it behind my ear. My stomach did somersaults and I knew I was totally fucked. When he leaned into me I didn't try to stop him and I didn't pull away. I just closed my eyes and waited for his mouth to land on mine.

I could feel the buzzing in my chest, in my stomach and, most of all, in my groin. They were all connected to my mouth by the little sparks of electricity flying around inside me. Although I was very aware that this was a man I was kissing - his stubble was scraping and stinging the edges of my lips and I was breathing in his cologne - his kiss was gentle. Tentative. Maybe he was worried about the possibility of me leaping away from him again and he was trying not to frighten me. He needn't have concerned himself with that. My libido was taking over. Putting it another way, I wasn't thinking with the head on my shoulders anymore.

I pushed my fingers through his hair again and pulled him with me as I lay back against the arm rest of my couch. I caught his tongue in my mouth and I sucked on it. His moan went straight to my dick and that was it. I was about to overstep my own boundaries.

I felt around his back and pushed my hands up under his shirt and he shifted so that he was sprawled on top of me. I moved my legs up onto the couch and I rolled him onto his side. Then I used one of his tricks on him, although I wasn't thinking in those terms at that exact moment. I manoeuvred one of my legs in between his and pressed against him. He tore his mouth away and gasped and my eyes opened in time to see the look in _his_ eyes. It had been a long time since anyone had looked at me like that.

"Bedroom," he stated. Or maybe he asked. It might have been a question, not an order. But I nodded anyway and pulled myself up off the couch. I stood there, watching him get up, suddenly feeling a little uncertain. I didn't know what was about to happen.

"I don't know what I'm doing," I said.

Theo grinned at me. "You could have fooled me," he replied and I laughed nervously. He took my hand, led me into the hallway, where he grabbed his jacket from the coat stand near the door, and then he turned and pulled me down the hallway to the bedroom he had used the last time he'd stayed with me.

# Chapter 16

Theo threw his jacket onto the foot of the bed and then turned to face me. He gave me a look as though he was waiting for something and I realised he was probably expecting me to change my mind. I knew I couldn't afford to overthink this, so I just grabbed the back of his neck with my free hand - he was still holding my other one - and I brought his mouth to mine.

His empty hand landed on my crotch and, for a moment, fear shot through me. But the kiss was intoxicating and my erection wasn't about to complain, either. I ignored that unwelcome feeling and I pressed forward into his touch. That sliver of fear disappeared, replaced by the buzz of arousal. I wriggled my other hand free of his, found the hem of his shirt and I let my fingers slide up and underneath the material until I felt the warm skin of his back. He followed my lead; a hand delving under my shirt. And that's when I realised that, if I was going to take this any further, the clothes were going to get in the way.

I was going to take this further.

I broke our kiss and stepped back. His eyes opened and, for a split second, he appeared disappointed. So I grinned and grabbed the bottom of his shirt with both hands and began to tug it over his head. I wasn't sure where my boldness was coming from but I had no intention of stopping to think about that. Theo helped me to remove his shirt and then I got rid of my own.

My heart started thumping hard when his hands went to the fastenings of my jeans but I stood there and allowed him to undo them. Then he leaned forward, put his mouth to my ear and whispered, "Get naked." I closed my eyes as my breath got stuck in my throat. Those two words had sent a thrill through me in a way I never would have anticipated.

I stripped as quickly as I could but I didn't dare to look at Theo while I undressed. It was odd, I guess, but the main thought running through my head was 'What if he doesn't like what he sees?' I was pretty sure he'd seen plenty of naked men, whereas I hadn't. Not really. I didn't know how I compared because I had never really been competitive when it came to how I looked. Okay, I liked to use the gym - well, when I remembered to use the gym - but while I was there I didn't compare my body to the bodies of others around me. What if I looked bad? What if--

My mind went blank as his arms encircled my waist from behind and his chest made contact with my back. My pulse rate shot up when I felt his lips travelling up the side of my neck to just behind my ear and I breathed in sharply as I registered the fact that he was naked because of something insistent pressing against my behind.

_Ο Χριστός! What now? What do I do now?_ That was all I could think. I began to panic a little. He didn't think I was going to let him fuck me, did he? I wasn't ready for that, no matter how turned on I was. I pulled away from him and turned, ready to tell him exactly what I was thinking, but he stopped me from speaking when he dropped to his knees, grabbed my hips with both hands and licked all the way up the underside of my dick, before wrapping his mouth around the head. My legs almost gave way and I couldn't stop the loud groan that burst out of my mouth.

_Fuck! That was good!_ He wrapped his fingers around me too - and I had to grab onto his shoulders as he started to move his hand in the opposite direction to his mouth, otherwise I definitely would have collapsed. I was going to come so quickly it would be embarrassing. But I didn't want him to stop.

~~~~

"How are you feeling?" Theo asked. I chuckled. I was feeling pretty good. I was lying on my back and Theo was curled up against me. His head was resting on my shoulder and his arm lay across my stomach. My fingers were stroking his back lightly. One of his legs was tucked between mine and it all felt perfectly comfortable.

"I'm feeling fine," I answered.

"Just fine?" he asked. I detected amusement in his tone. "I'll have to try harder next time."

I laughed and ran my fingers through his hair. He looked up at me and smirked and I couldn't resist planting a kiss on his lips. I was feeling more than 'pretty good', I realised. I was feeling fucking amazing, considering. I cleared my throat. "So, is it true what they say?" I asked. His eyebrows rose and I took that as an invitation to continue. "Men give better head than women?"

It was his turn to laugh. "You tell me," he replied when he had stopped chuckling. "How would I know?"

"You've never had a blowjob from a woman, I take it?" I was teasing him. I was enjoying myself.

Theo snorted. "I haven't even considered it," he responded.

"Well, I hadn't ever considered this," I waved my free hand to indicate the way we were lay together. "Before today, anyway."

"I'm guessing you're not regretting it yet," he murmured. He ducked his head. I pushed my fingers through his curls again and tried to get him to meet my eyes. When he finally looked up at me I shook my head.

"I'm not regretting a thing," I told him. I was serious. It was true. There was nothing to regret as far as I was concerned.

His mouth lifted up at one side in a crooked grin and his eyes lit up. "Does that mean you're ready for round two?"

~~~~

I awoke and immediately realised I wasn't in my own bedroom. This was the spare room. What was I doing in here? For a moment, I couldn't remember. I lifted my head and looked around. My clothes were strewn on the floor but nothing else looked out of place. I let my head flop back onto the pillow and then memories of last night came back to me.

_Shit!_ I sat bolt upright and looked around again. No sign of Theo or his things. I scrambled out of bed, grabbed my underwear from the floor and pulled them on before opening the door a little and peeking out into the corridor.

_Wait a minute... this was silly!_ This was my own apartment, for crying out loud! Why was I hiding? I yanked the door open and strode down the corridor to the living room. Theo wasn't to be found in there either, but I spied the two cold cups of coffee on the table and picked them up. I moved to the kitchen and dumped them down the sink before setting up the machine for some fresh stuff. Once I had done that, I allowed myself to think.

Theo had gone, obviously. What did that mean? Had he decided that he'd made a mistake? Or was he trying to spare my feelings, somehow? Maybe he thought I would be regretting what had happened between us and he didn't want to be around for that. Or maybe he just had to go to work. I didn't know. Maybe I was overanalysing. _Jesus!_ My brain was not exactly my best friend sometimes.

Oh, and talking of best friends...

I poured some coffee and sat at the kitchen table. I _had_ to call Chris today. I wasn't looking forward to it, but it had to be done. I had no clue how I would start that conversation but I really couldn't ignore the situation any longer. Not if I wanted to keep my sanity, anyway. I would have to put all thoughts of a certain Mr Demetriou out of my head and concentrate on Mr Palmer instead.

I went searching for my phone, having decided that I would call Chris and arrange to meet him somewhere. I found the device in my jacket pocket and pulled it out. There was one missed call. From Theo, forty five minutes ago. I wondered... Should I call him back? Or should I call Chris first? If I didn't call Theo back, would that send the wrong message?

_Ο Χριστός!_ What was the wrong message and what was the right message? I didn't know what I was thinking anymore. I scrubbed my face with my hand and made my way back to the kitchen. This was all becoming a little too much.

~~~~

Showered and dressed, I sat in my kitchen again and drank more coffee while staring at my phone screen. I pulled up the missed calls list and my finger hovered over the green call button. But I didn't press it. I didn't know what I could possibly say to Theo at this point so, instead, I scrolled through my contacts and hit the green button when I found Chris' name.

I didn't really expect him to answer. We hadn't exactly been getting along very well lately and the last couple of times we had seen each other... So I jumped when I heard his voice and it threw me for a second.

"Nick? Are you there?"

"Um, yeah. Sorry." I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead with my fingers. "Can we meet?" I asked. "I really think we need to talk."

There was a pause. He was going to say no; I knew it. "Alright. Where and when?"

I hadn't thought that far ahead. "Wherever you want. Are you free today?"

"I'm going to spend an hour in the gym and then I'll be free after that," he replied. "I'll meet you at _O'Shea's_ if you like. Twelve o'clock?"

I nodded, which was stupid. "Yes, that sounds good. Thanks."

"Alright, I'll see you later." He ended the call.

~~~~

I pushed open the door to _O'Shea's_ and stepped inside. It felt weird being here and I wasn't sure why. I took a quick look around and soon realised I had arrived before Chris had. I found a couple of empty bar stools at the counter and claimed them, before ordering two beers and checking the time. If he hadn't changed his mind, Chris would be here soon. Now, all I had to do was work out what to say and how to say it. But one thing I would _not_ be discussing was Theo. Not yet, anyway.

# Chapter 17

When he walked in, the expression on Chris' face told me that he didn't want to be here. But at least he had turned up, which was a start. I inhaled deeply as he walked over to me and I pushed a bottle of beer in his direction as he nodded at me and perched on the other bar stool.

I had invited him, so I knew I had to take the lead in the conversation. Saying the right thing was never one of my best skills but I decided I just had to dive in and see where we ended up. "Thanks for coming," I began. "I think this awkwardness has gone on long enough and we have to fix it today." He opened his mouth and I put up my hand to silence him. "No, let me say some things first." Chris sighed and nodded. I echoed his sigh. But I was going to do this even if it killed me. I continued. "You mean more to me than anyone else in the world, Chris," I told him. "We have been friends for far too long to let it all fall apart now." I swallowed. "I need you in my life. I miss you."

He looked down at his hands in his lap and I swallowed again then reached for my beer. This was harder than I had anticipated. I didn't want to get emotional but my throat was closing up. I needed to get a grip. I took a few swallows of my beer and started again. "Things have been a little weird between us since you split with Stephen." I chewed my lip. "And now I think I have an idea why."

Chris' head snapped up and I tried to maintain eye contact, which wasn't easy. "I saw Stephen at Thea's party. We had a little argument."

"About me?" That was the first time he'd spoken, which was fair, because I'd stopped him once. I nodded.

"About you."

"What did he say?" Chris looked like I felt. Nervous. I chewed my bottom lip again as I tried to work out what to say next. I felt my cheeks heat up and I had to look away. Why was it so hard to say what I needed to say? "Never mind," said Chris. "I think I know." He stood and headed for the exit. I stared after him for a moment before I leapt up off my stool and followed. I couldn't let him leave.

I caught up with him outside on the pavement and I grabbed his arm. "Chris, stop!" I tried to turn him and he tried to pull away. "For fuck's sake!" I shouted. "We have to talk about this. If we don't do it now, we'll never do it." I saw the moment when my words sunk in. His shoulders slumped and I felt terrible for making him feel whatever he was feeling. I pulled him into a hug and his body became rigid but I wasn't going to let him go. He would just have to deal with it. My throat was tight again so I didn't trust myself to speak. I just clung to him until he relaxed and his arms went around my back.

"Bastard," I heard him mumble into my shoulder. I barked out a laugh and pulled back. That was more like it. He had a sheepish look on his face and I couldn't help grinning.

"Whatcha gonna do?" I asked. He shook his head at me. But he had a smile on his face. I sighed with relief. "Are you ready to go back inside?" I suggested. Chris pulled a face.

"Do you mind if we go somewhere else? I don't really want to talk about this in there." He nodded towards _O'Shea's_.

I shrugged. "Wherever you want. As long as we talk somewhere."

~~~~

Queen Street was beginning to feel like a second home. I pulled Chris into a place that Theo had taken me the night we had met. It was called _Carmen's_ and it appeared to be quiet at this time of day. I bought our drinks while Chris seated himself at a table near the back of the bar. When I reached the table he had his head in his hands, propped up on his elbows.

"Hey," I said as I sat opposite him. "Let's be honest with each other, shall we? We can't sort this out if we're not honest." Theo had been on my mind ever since I had walked into _Carmen's_ and I had momentarily regretted my choice of bar, but I had realised that if I expected Chris to be honest with me, then I had to afford him the same courtesy. If Chris thought it was going to be difficult talking about his breakup with Stephen, then he had no idea how difficult I was going to find it talking about Theo.

He sat back in his seat and nodded. "What did Stephen tell you?"

"He told me that he thought he had been competing with me for your attention," I said.

"Yep. That sounds about right," murmured Chris. He scanned the bar with his eyes.

"Is it true or is that just what he thinks?"

Chris chuckled half-heartedly. "Both?" His gaze swept back to mine.

I withheld a sigh. "How long?" I asked.

Chris shrugged his shoulders. "How long have we known each other?"

I nodded and found myself looking down at the tabletop. I must have been blind.

"Obviously, I was never going to say anything," he continued. "Stephen tells me I talk in my sleep. I think he got sick of it." He cleared his throat and out of the corner of my eye I saw him reach for his drink. I wanted to look up but I couldn't. I was a coward. "You're probably wondering about the condom thing," he added. "I didn't really tell you the truth there. He offered it to me because he thought I had been... Well, it wasn't because he'd been unfaithful. I kind of lied about that."

I found my voice. "So you didn't need to get tested."

Chris chuckled. It sounded like he meant it this time. "I get tested regularly anyway," he said. "But you needed to get tested so I did you a favour there."

I finally looked up and met his gaze. He grinned at me. "True," I conceded. I smiled back. That was something I was planning to do on a regular basis from now on. I abruptly remembered what had happened last night and I blushed. I reached for my beer and took a few gulps, hoping Chris hadn't noticed my sudden embarrassment.

"Anyway," he continued. "We argued about the condom and one thing led to another and he told me how he felt. I told him he was imagining things but he wasn't having it. And when I said 'If you're not happy, you should leave', he did. So I trashed the apartment."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"Why didn't I tell you the truth?" I nodded. "Because I was embarrassed, that's why."

"But we've known each other for years," I explained. "We have always told each other everything." I picked up my beer again and brought it to my lips.

"Not everything." Chris shook his head. "Not everything, Nick. Anyway, I could hardly tell you I fancy you, could I? You're straight."

I choked on my mouthful of beer. The liquid went down the wrong way and I had a minor coughing fit. When I had recovered I reached for a napkin from the dispenser on the table and wiped my mouth. I sighed and looked at my friend. "Yeah, well..." I wasn't sure how to say this. "Maybe nobody is one hundred percent straight."

Chris laughed. "If that was the case, then the opposite could be true. I'm one hundred percent gay, I can assure you." I just stared at him. I could feel myself frowning but I didn't know how to explain what I needed to explain. Suddenly he stopped laughing. "Wait... What are you saying?"

I swallowed heavily. I could feel the adrenaline buzzing around in my system and it was making me feel edgy. I had to say something, and quickly. "I'm not one hundred percent straight," I managed. He narrowed his eyes at me and I shrugged and looked away for a moment.

There was an awkward silent pause and I just sat there, hoping his mind was working it out so that I wouldn't have to say it again. Finally his mouth dropped open and for a moment he looked horrified. I mentally cringed. Then I watched his expression change to amazement and then curiosity. He leaned forward, rested his forearms on the table and said, "Do tell!"

# Chapter 18

I chuckled nervously. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything," Chris replied. "Who, where, when."

"Um..." I picked up my drink again. "Theo, at my place, last night."

"Theo?" I nodded and took a sip of my beer. "Theo? Theo from Sasha's, you mean?" I nodded again. He stared at me hard and I wondered what he was thinking. I felt uncomfortable under his scrutiny. He shook his head and waved a finger at me. "I knew something was going on between you two. That first night, when I got stuck with Dimitri. When was that?"

I cast my mind back. "That was Thursday, wasn't it?"

"Yes! Thursday. I could tell." He looked kind of smug. "And you went back on Friday for more."

I shook my head. "No, there was nothing going on then."

Chris didn't believe me. I could tell by his expression. "Yes there was. I detected the vibe."

I scoffed. "There was no vibe. That's rubbish."

He sat back and folded his arms across his chest. "Friday morning, when I turned up at your place, Theo was standing in your hallway looking all hot and sexy in nothing but a towel. You're telling me that was perfectly innocent?"

"Yes, it was," I asserted. I thought back to Thursday night. "We left _Sasha's_ when you were with Dimitri and we hit a couple of bars and before we knew it, it was late and I offered my spare bedroom to Theo. That's all."

"O-kay, if you insist."

I sighed. I wasn't sure why I _was_ insisting. It didn't matter now because things had changed since then. It had all happened so quickly that I was shocked to realise I had only known Theo since Thursday and today was Sunday. _Jeez!_

"So, what did you do?" asked Chris. He had a little smirk on his face.

"What do you mean?" He gave me a look that said 'don't act stupid with me' and I realised what he meant. My mouth fell open in shock. "You want details?" He nodded. "Can't you use your imagination?"

"I could, but why should I?" I realised he was trying not to laugh. Chris was having fun at my expense. But at least he was looking cheerful again. I decided to humour him a little, although I wasn't sure how he was going to take it.

"Alright, well, nothing happened on Thursday. Nothing happened on Friday either, except he kissed me."

"And how was that for you?" Chris interrupted.

I found myself frowning. "Confusing," I admitted.

"Did you get turned on?"

"Jeez, Chris! You really _do_ want details, don't you?" He nodded slowly, a big grin on his face. I sighed. "I had dreams that night," I told him. "The kind of dreams I don't normally have about guys, if you get my meaning." His chuckle made me smile despite my slight discomfort.

"So what happened Saturday? Apart from your fight with Stephen, I mean."

I chewed my bottom lip. "Do you want me to be really honest with you?" I asked. I was wondering whether I should tell him about Stephen's accusations.

"Yes," Chris replied. "I thought we were being honest today."

I blew out a breath and nodded. "Stephen accused me of sleeping with you and I got a little upset about that." Chris' expression grew serious. "So I was still upset when Theo came looking for me."

"Theo was at the party?"

"Oh, yes. I invited him." I had forgotten to mention that. "Anyway, this is the embarrassing part of the story. I was upset and Theo found me and gave me a hug. And I don't know what came over me but I kissed him." Chris nodded and his gaze dropped to the table. I suddenly felt the need to apologise. "I'm sorry," I said, frowning.

"Don't be," he replied. "Continue with the story."

"Am I making you angry?" I asked. I didn't want to continue if I was pissing him off. He shook his head and looked at me again.

"You're not making me angry, Nick. I was thinking about Stephen, that's all. Tell me about Theo."

"What were you thinking about Stephen?" I asked. I was aware we hadn't really talked about him for a while.

"No, we can talk about him later. Tell me about you and Theo. I want to know."

I sighed and picked up my drink. I took a couple of gulps and told myself I would make him talk about Stephen before we parted company. "Okay, well, after the party, Theo came home with me. And..." I closed my eyes. This was going to be embarrassing again.

"And?" There was a pause. "You had sex with him?"

My eyes popped open. "Will you keep your voice down?" I pleaded.

"Oh pfft!" Chris waved his hand dismissively. "This place is empty. _And_ we're in a gay bar, for goodness sake!"

"So? What difference does that make? I still don't want you telling everyone." I looked around. The place _was_ empty though.

Chris started laughing. "What do you think eighty percent of the conversations in here are about?" he asked. "If they're not actually _having_ sex, the clientele are talking about it."

I shook my head at him. "I don't believe you," I said.

He leaned forward. "You should visit this place on a Saturday night, my friend. Don't expect to be able to take a piss if you visit the men's room." I stared at him, not sure whether he was serious or joking with me. "You think I'm kidding. I'm not."

"Ew!" I exclaimed. "I thought that was a myth."

"Nope." He shook his head. "Anyway, did you have sex or not? Stop trying to avoid the question."

I rolled my eyes in frustration. "Yes, alright? We had sex," I whispered. Despite my embarrassment, I got tingles at the memory.

Chris sat back and regarded me and I couldn't tell what he was thinking by his expression so I waited for the next question. He smirked. "Top or bottom?"

"What?" I spluttered. He threw back his head and laughed. I squirmed. Did he really expect me to answer that?

"You know exactly what I mean," Chris said between his chuckles. "Don't pretend you don't. Which was it, Nick?"

My face was burning. I must have been crimson. My eyes closed. "Top," I hissed. He burst out laughing again and I opened my eyes and glared at him. What was so funny? I pushed my chair back and stood. "I'm going for a piss," I informed him and started walking away.

"Behave yourself in there," I heard him shout after me before he laughed again.

~~~~

When I got back to the table, Chris had evidently been to buy more drinks. I sat down and looked at him. "Do you have any more questions for me?" I asked.

"Just one," he replied. I nodded at him to continue. "Are you going to see him again?"

I paused, remembering that Theo had already left by the time I had woken and I hadn't called him back yet. "I hope so," I admitted.

"You sound unsure. What's wrong?"

Did Theo want to see me again? I should have called him back. Chris waved a hand in front of my eyes. "I don't know if he wants to see me," I said.

"Oh, trust me, he will," Chris replied. He sounded more confident than I felt. "You know what? _Sasha's_ is just down the street. Why don't we pop in there when we've finished these drinks?"

"Um, no." I shook my head emphatically. No way were we doing that.

"Why not? Let's just pop in for one drink and say hello."

"I don't know if he's working," I suggested. That wasn't quite true. Theo had said last night that he would be working today. I had assumed he was telling the truth then, although that might have just been a line, to persuade me to allow him to stay the night. I considered something else. How would it look to Theo if I walked into his bar today? Would I appear desperate? _Was_ I desperate to see him again?

"One drink," Chris pressed. "We'll go in, see if your boyfriend's around, have a drink and then we can leave if you want." I stared at him, mouth open.

"He's not my boyfriend," I said when I had recovered.

Chris sighed. "Allow me the dream, will you? One of us should have a fucking boyfriend!"

# Chapter 19

Chris drained his bottle and stood. "Come on, let's move," he suggested.

"And where are we moving to?" I asked, knowing what his answer was likely to be. I stood and picked up my coat anyway.

He winked at me and grinned as he pulled on his jacket. "Oh!" he suddenly exclaimed. "I forgot." He pulled a white envelope out of his inside pocket and held it out. "I'm not sure what to do with these. I mean, I ordered them but I don't know if you're still interested."

I took the envelope from him and peered inside. I chuckled when I realised what I was looking at. Tickets for _G-A-Y_. The Kylie Minogue gig. I returned my gaze to Chris. "Are we going?" I asked.

"Do you want to?" He offered a huge grin. I was sure he knew what I was going to say. With all that had happened, I had forgotten about it, but I still wouldn't want to miss an appearance by Kylie. I nodded.

"Good." He seemed satisfied with my response. "Now let's go say hi to your--"

"Don't say it!" I interrupted and he stifled a laugh, grabbed my arm and walked me out of the bar and in the direction of _Sasha's_.

Oh boy!

~~~~

Theo wasn't behind the counter as we entered _Sasha's_ and I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. I was relieved but at the same time I was disappointed. And my stomach was doing flip-flops just because I was standing in his bar. It was so weird.

Chris didn't seem to notice my reaction, which was good. Or if he had noticed anything, he had chosen not to comment, for which I was grateful. He ordered a couple of drinks for us and pointed at an empty table. "Take a seat," he proposed. "I'll wait here for the drinks." I did as he suggested.

Throwing my coat over the back of my chair, I sat and scanned the room. This place was busier than the previous bar had been. I glanced back over towards Chris at the counter and caught him pointing at me while talking to the bartender. What the hell was he doing? I sighed and then chewed my bottom lip. He was interfering. That was what he was doing.

Chris strolled over, glasses in his hands and I asked him, before he took a seat, "What the fuck was that?"

"Oh relax," he replied with a grin. "You have no idea what I was talking to him about." He set the glasses down and removed his jacket before sliding into the seat opposite me. "For your information, I ordered some food because I imagined you would be thinking about that soon. I asked if they could bring it to our table."

I remained unconvinced. A few moments later, when I caught sight of Chris looking over my left shoulder at something behind me and then breaking into a grin, my suspicions were aroused again. I was about to turn around and take a look for myself when a hand touched that same shoulder and I jumped. I looked up and, of course, it was Theo. He grinned down at me and said, "Hi."

It felt as if an electric shock had just run through my whole body. I smiled back. At least, I think I did, but my attention was then caught by Chris pushing back his chair and standing. He smirked at me. "I'm just going to..." He pointed in the general direction of the back of the bar and I realised Chris was about to disappear on purpose.

Theo took the empty seat opposite me and smiled. "How are you?" he asked.

I had to chuckle. _How was I?_ I was in the midst of one huge adrenaline rush. My hand shook as I reached out to pick up my drink so I didn't touch the glass. "I'm good, thanks," I replied and I rested my hand on the table. "You?"

He nodded and smiled again. "Hmmm, good," he said. "A little more sleep would have been nice but I'm not going to complain." His eyes were sparkling and I realised he was making reference to what we had done last night. I felt myself heat up at the thought. "So, anyway," Theo continued. "I just wanted to say sorry for disappearing. I had to get here early this morning and I felt bad for sneaking out without saying goodbye."

I nodded. "It's okay, I understand," I said. I remembered the missed call. "I'm sorry I didn't call you back earlier." That sounded lame. I suddenly felt bad. I didn't have a good reason why I hadn't called back.

"I've been crazy busy so far today," Theo replied. "I didn't realise you hadn't. I haven't checked my phone for hours." I nodded. We lapsed into silence and it started to feel just a teeny bit awkward until Theo suddenly added, "I had better give your friend his chair back," and he stood.

I looked up at him. At this point I was probably supposed to say something like 'When can I see you again?' but the words didn't come out. He moved around the table as Chris reappeared.

"See you around, Niko," Theo said and he turned and began to walk away. _See you around?_ What did that mean? I didn't like the sound of that so I jumped up from my chair and followed him. I reached out and touched his arm and he stopped and turned.

"When?" I asked. "See me when?" I swallowed. I was vaguely aware that that sounded a little too eager, but I didn't particularly care. I didn't want to leave this bar without knowing if we were going to see each other again, or if this was the end of it. I couldn't tell if he was brushing me off or if it was just my imagination going into overdrive. I needed to hear it from him.

He smiled. "Would tonight be too soon?" he asked.

I grinned and shook my head. I felt relieved. I would analyse that later. "What time will you finish here?"

His smile slipped. "Not until eight."

I nodded. "Okay." I thought quickly. "Shall I come back here or do you want to make your way to my place?"

His eyes lit up. "I'll come to yours, if that's alright?" I nodded again. I had butterflies. I would analyse that later too. He leaned towards me and I touched my lips to his. When we moved apart, Theo gave me the slightest of winks before whispering, "Later." Then he turned and walked away. I watched him go, before I turned and made myself move back to the table where Chris grinned up at me.

"Bastard," I told him. Then I laughed. I took my seat.

Chris wiggled his eyebrows. "I did order food, though," he said. As if that explained everything.

~~~~

While we ate, I subtly tried to quiz Chris about his feelings towards Stephen, but he soon realised what I was up to and refused to answer any of my questions on the topic. So instead we talked about work, television and sport. By around four o'clock we had both agreed it was time to head home and I promised Chris that I would call him tomorrow, after work. We went our separate ways.

Back at home, I tidied up the place and then decided to hit the gym for an hour before taking a shower and putting on some music. I chose some tracks from the late nineties, for a change. I also found my Kindle and downloaded a couple of new books before settling on the sofa and trying to relax. My mind wasn't concentrating on the words in front of me, though - I kept reading the same sentences over and over - so I closed down the Kindle and placed it on the coffee table.

I kept remembering moments from last night and from earlier today. I had already acknowledged the fact that I was attracted to Theo. I had already accepted the fact that I had fucked him. And that I would like to do it again. That wasn't the problem. What I was struggling with was the fact that I couldn't get him out of my mind. And the way my body reacted whenever I was near him or thought about him was a little distracting. I had been pretty desperate in _Sasha's_ for him to tell me he wanted to see me again. Was that just lust?

I hadn't had sex for quite some time before Theo had come along. Maybe I was just horny and this was an opportunity to get my rocks off. I sighed, laid my head back and closed my eyes. I didn't know what I was feeling.

~~~~

The intercom buzzer startled me. I had fallen asleep. I leapt up off the sofa and headed over to see on the small screen that Theo was standing outside. I pressed the button to talk. "Come up. Fifth floor." I hit the other button to let him into the building. Then I darted into the bathroom to brush my teeth before heading for the kitchen where I set up the coffee machine.

His knock was loud and insistent and I smiled as I went to open the front door. "I know," was the first thing he said to me.

"What?" I asked as I waved him inside and closed the door behind him.

"Fifth floor," he smirked. "I know. I've been here before."

"Oh, smartarse," I said and I pushed him up against the wall and kissed him.

# Chapter 20

"Do you like pizza?" I asked as I led Theo to the kitchen.

"Who doesn't?" he replied.

"Well I was thinking we could order some, if you like. Are you hungry?" I started to pour some coffee. He didn't respond so I stopped and looked at him. He was leaning back against the kitchen counter, arms folded and legs crossed, one over the other. It struck me that he looked right at home there and my eyes wandered down his body and back up again. When my gaze reached his face he was biting his bottom lip and his eyes were twinkling. I controlled a smirk and asked, "Well?"

"Pizza sounds great," he replied. "But I could really use a shower. Would you mind?"

I shook my head. "Of course not. Go ahead." He grinned and pushed himself away from the counter.

"I'll be in the bathroom, then," he stated as he walked away.

I set the coffee down. _Was that an invitation?_ I stared after his retreating form, unable to make my mind up. When he disappeared around the corner I leant back against the counter and looked up at the ceiling, analysing his words. He didn't _have_ to tell me he would be in the bathroom; he was going to take a shower so that was a given. I decided it _was_ an invitation. Coffee could wait. Pizza would _definitely_ have to wait.

I left the kitchen and headed towards the bathroom. I could hear the water running already as I approached. Steam was billowing out around the edge of the door which had been left open around four inches. I stood there and watched it for a moment, my mind beginning to fill with images of him naked and wet. My pulse sped up. I didn't need to imagine; he was just on the other side of that door.

I kicked off my shoes, pulled my shirt over my head and undid my jeans before I pushed open the door and looked inside. He was looking right at the door as if he had been waiting for me. Our eyes met and we both grinned. At least we were on the same wavelength. I stripped out of the rest of my clothing, leaving it all in a pile near the door, and I stepped inside the shower enclosure with Theo.

I slid my hand up around his neck and brought his face to mine. Our kiss was passionate but soft and slow. His arms wrapped around my back and then his hands glided down to my arse and I copied his movements, tugging him closer so that our groins came together. We stayed like that, kissing under the spray, for a few moments, until the insistent tingling in my groin made me thrust my hips just once. He groaned and pulled his mouth away.

I turned him around and I wound my arms around his waist, pulled him back against me and rested my head on his shoulder, before kissing my way up his neck. He allowed his head to fall back onto my shoulder and I licked under his jaw until he turned his head and I could reach his mouth again. I let my hands wander over his chest and stomach and he reached behind me and pulled me into him.

_Oh crap!_ I wanted to be inside him again. I had never felt anything like that before and the thought of it was driving me insane with need. I had to distract myself from those thoughts. I slid a hand down his side and moved in to cup his balls. Yep, that did it. Like mine but _not_ like mine. I explored them gently and he thrust his tongue sharply into my mouth, making my desire shoot up so much it was beginning to hurt.

I moved my hand up. I took hold of his dick and started to pump him slowly, just the way I liked it done to me. He began to thrust; his hips moving backwards and forwards, and each time his arse pushed against me I went a little bit more insane. Our tongues were still playing with each other - and the heat of the water, or the steam, or our kissing was making it harder for me to breathe. But getting air into my lungs didn't seem half as important as feeling him writhe in my arms. I wanted to drive him as crazy as he was driving me. I changed my grip slightly and sped up my hand movement and I moved my other hand up to play with one of his nipples.

He pulled his tongue out of my mouth and moaned. "God, Niko, I'm gonna..." I opened my eyes and watched his face as he came. Then I spun him around again, pulled him to me and kissed him as if my life depended on it.

~~~~

I quickly wiped myself down with a towel after handing one to Theo. He did the same thing and then I grabbed his hand and almost dragged him to my bedroom.

"Where's my jacket?" he asked.

"I don't know," I replied. "Where did you take it off?"

"In the bathroom," he replied.

"Well, it's in the bathroom. Why?" I backed him up to the bed.

"Supplies," he stated.

I chuckled a little. "I do have condoms, you know?" I said.

"Yes, but you don't have the lube. We talked about this last night. I have some in my jacket."

Oh yes, I had forgotten about that. "I'll get it," I said and I dashed back to the bathroom, scooped up his jacket and returned to my bedroom. "Here." I handed over the jacket. He laughed at me and I felt the blush creep up my cheeks. Apparently I was a little eager again.

Theo threw a few sachets onto my nightstand, dropped his jacket to the floor and then clambered onto the bed. He knelt there and looked at me, a silly grin on his lips. I climbed on and knelt facing him. He reached for me and we picked up where we had left off in the shower. It didn't take long for me to be hard as a rock again and he didn't do any harm at all when he thrust his hand between us and took hold of me.

He seemed to know exactly how to hold me. How tight to grip, how fast to move. It was exquisite and I had to put my hand over his and stop him, otherwise it would all have been over too soon. I broke our kiss and opened my eyes. He looked at me, smiled and reached over to the nightstand before settling on his back and holding out a little sachet of lube to me. "Like I showed you last night," he said. His voice came out husky and I swallowed because my throat had suddenly gone dry.

I lay next to him, on my side, and I ripped open the sachet before covering my fingers with some of the contents. As I reached down between his legs, I leaned over him and kissed up his stomach and chest, up along the side of his neck and across his jaw until I found his mouth again. Theo pushed his fingers through my hair and lifted his hips off the bed a couple of times, pressing himself against my hand. There was something incredibly erotic about that and it made me moan. I needed him so badly it was becoming painful again.

I felt him push a condom into my other hand and I took that as my cue. Slowly, I withdrew my fingers and I pecked his lips one more time before I knelt beside him and prepared myself. Theo surprised me by rolling onto his stomach. "Where are you going?" I asked. We hadn't done it like that last night.

He chuckled. "Just do it," he said and he parted his legs and lifted his backside a little. I took a deep breath, moved behind him and got myself into position. As I found his entrance I leaned over him and slowly pushed forward. I screwed my eyes shut as his warmth engulfed me. He pushed back into me and I bit my lip so hard I'm surprised I didn't draw blood.

By this time, Theo was moving more than I was, so I assumed it was okay to pick up the pace a little and I did. He groaned and I almost stopped but one of his hands came around and grabbed my hip. "More," he gasped and I was happy to oblige. I covered his body with mine, pushed my arms under his armpits and held onto his shoulders as I thrust into him. And I almost lost my mind at the sensations.

I rested my head against the back of his neck and listened to the little noises that were escaping from his mouth as we fucked. It was mind-blowingly good and I was getting too close too soon so I had to change the pace. I took longer, slower strokes, trying to get deeper and Theo began to cry out every time I pushed in. Soon, I knew I couldn't hold back any longer. I tensed, milliseconds before my orgasm washed through me and I pushed myself into him one more time as I lost it. He groaned and then tensed under me and I felt his orgasm hit him too.

This was insanity of the best kind.

# Chapter 21

I awoke and began to stretch but I stopped when I realised there was something - someone - warm pressed against my back. An arm was draped over my hip and I remembered. I smiled to myself as a not unpleasant tingling sensation overtook me. Theo hadn't snuck out and left me this time.

I could get used to this, I realised. It was nice waking up and finding I wasn't alone. Too many months without someone to share my bed made me acknowledge that I had missed that feeling.

"What time is it?" Theo mumbled right next to my ear.

I hadn't known he was awake. I turned my head a little but he was too close for me to focus my eyes properly. He pecked my cheek and I grinned.

"I haven't a clue," I replied. "But the alarm hasn't sounded yet."

"I don't think you set it," he replied.

I lifted my head and took a look at the clock. _Shit!_ "It's nine twenty five! Fuck, I'm late for work!" I started to pull myself out of bed but Theo grabbed me and pulled me back.

"Call work and tell them you're sick," he suggested as he rolled me onto my back and did a good job of pinning me down with an arm across my chest and a leg over both of mine. I looked up at him, a little surprised that he would even suggest such a thing. He had a sly smile on his lips and a wicked gleam in his eye. A thrill shot down my spine as the idea took hold. Could I do that? What if someone found out?

"Are you going to do the same thing?" I asked.

Theo leaned down and whispered in my ear, "I already did." He pulled back and grinned. "Actually I told Carl I was taking a day off. I don't have to pretend I'm sick. I'm the boss, remember?"

"When did this happen?" I asked, confused.

"Oh, I woke up around two hours ago and decided I didn't want to leave," he told me. "So you can't leave either, or I'll have nothing to do all day."

I thought about it. He had put me on the spot. I had been almost considering doing as he'd suggested, but now, a flicker of guilt rose up inside me. I hadn't faked a sick day for years. And if I did, what would I say was wrong with me? I didn't like lying. I wasn't very good at it.

My face must have betrayed what I was thinking because Theo rolled away from me. "Okay, go to work," he said. He sounded upset which, of course, made me feel even worse. I made up my mind and hauled myself out of bed. Without looking back at Theo, I strode to the living room, picked up the landline phone and called in sick. I would deal with the consequences tomorrow. Before returning to the bedroom, I ducked into the kitchen, where I grabbed two glasses and a carton of orange juice from the fridge.

Theo was pulling on his jeans by the time I arrived. I sighed. He had misinterpreted why I had jumped out of bed. "Where do you think you're going?" I asked. I set the orange juice down on my nightstand and climbed back into bed. He paused, midway through tugging up his fly and he stared at me. Then he grinned and started to undress again. I opened the carton of juice and poured two glasses.

"So," he said as he bounced onto the bed and then scrambled under the covers, "what shall we do with our day off?"

"I have no idea," I replied. "This was your plan, not mine." I handed him a glass and chuckled. This felt very naughty.

~~~~

"Let's shower and go out somewhere for lunch," Theo suggested. He lifted his head from my shoulder and looked at me, presumably because I hadn't replied yet.

"I can't go out," I said. "I'm supposed to be sick, remember? What if someone from work sees me?"

"Well, if they see you, they're not at work either, are they?" He grinned at me before putting his head back down. "I'm starving," he added. "I need food."

I ruffled his hair as I grinned then I nudged him with my shoulder. "Get up, then." My mind made up, I tried to pull my arm out from under him. I realised I was also hungry. We had spent all morning in bed, not even going as far as the kitchen for any breakfast. All we'd had was the orange juice I had grabbed earlier. "Move, will you?" I asked when he made no attempt to shift.

He moved, alright. Under the covers, in a downwards direction.

~~~~

I found the DVD I had been searching for and pushed it into the player before settling myself back on the couch with Theo. He wrapped an arm around my neck and pulled me against his side. I pressed 'Play' on the remote and tossed it onto the cushion beside me before making myself comfy. Theo's arm draped over my shoulder and I kind of snuggled against his side and rested my hand on his thigh.

It was comfortable. Nothing more; nothing less.

Oh, who was I trying to kid? I liked being this close to him. After the day we'd had, there seemed nothing more natural than to lean against him, breathe in his scent, feel the heat radiating from his body. It was more than comfortable; it was becoming a little addictive.

The opening credits rolled and I started to zone out a little, thinking about the day we had spent together. All day. Just me and Theo. We had eventually gone out for lunch. I had been a little paranoid for a while, until I finally got caught up in the company and the conversation and the food and I forgot about the possibility of someone I knew from work seeing me. Whether that would come back to bite me, I didn't know. After lunch, we had returned to my apartment, fooled around again and then played 'Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare' followed by 'Battlefield 4' until the light began to fade outside. That's when Theo had stood and stretched, before suggesting he should head home \- and I had realised I really didn't want him to.

So I had told him that very thing and he had agreed to stay another night. After all, he didn't have anything or anyone to go home to. No cats to feed, nobody to question where he had been for two nights, no reason to leave. But, maybe, a reason to stay.

After that was settled, I had prepared a little food and we had eaten in the kitchen before deciding to kick back and watch a DVD. I looked at the screen. I had missed ten minutes of the film already. Maybe I wasn't really in the mood for - what had we picked? I couldn't remember. And I realised I didn't care. I closed my eyes and cast my mind back over the last few days, from when I had met with Chris and we had - I had - encountered Theo for the first time. Had Chris been right? Had he seen something that first night? Something I had been unaware of? Yesterday Chris had seemed pretty adamant that he'd detected a 'vibe'. Whatever that might mean.

That reminded me. I had told Chris yesterday that I would give him a call tonight. I pulled away from Theo and stood, scanning the room for my mobile phone.

"What's wrong?" Theo asked.

"Oh, nothing," I stated. "I'm just going to make a phone call." Where was my phone? I headed for the hallway, assuming that my phone was still in my jacket. It was. I grabbed it, took it to the kitchen and dialled Chris' number.

Several rings later, he answered, sounding out of breath. "Hey, Nick. What's up?"

"Oh, nothing much," I replied. "Just checking in. How was your day?"

"Um, it's been fine," he replied. "How was yours?"

I smiled to myself. My day had been pretty good. "Oh, the usual," I said, not wanting to say anything about skipping work. "Are you looking forward to Thursday, or is it just me?"

There was a muffled noise on the other end of the line and then, "Why? What's happening Thursday?" Chris sounded distracted. Maybe he was busy and I had picked the wrong time to call.

"The Kylie gig at _G-A-Y_. That's Thursday, isn't it?" I asked.

"Oh, yes. You're right. Of course I'm looking forward to it. I'll meet you outside the main doors, okay?"

"Sure," I replied. "I'll see you Thursday. Now I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing before I interrupted you."

Chris chuckled down the line. "Thanks mate," he said. "I mean, thanks for calling." He hung up.

I stared at my phone screen as it occurred to me that I had definitely interrupted him. He had company. I laughed, feeling slightly embarrassed, and I made my way back to Theo.

"What are you chuckling at?" he asked as I took my seat again and placed my phone on the coffee table.

"I just called Chris," I told him. "I think he was _busy_." I smirked. Theo raised his eyebrows.

"Busy? You mean he answered your call even though he was _otherwise engaged_?" I nodded. "Wow, that's real friendship," he said, shaking his head. "I wouldn't have picked up." He reached over me, grabbed the DVD remote and stopped the film, saying, "I'm not really in the mood for that anymore and you weren't even watching it, were you?" I shook my head. He was right; I hadn't been paying attention at all. "So, um..." Theo leaned towards me. "What shall we do instead?"

~~~~

I was exhausted but restless. Theo was breathing quietly next to me and I turned my head to check whether he was asleep. He was indeed in a deep sleep. I studied his face in the dim light that filtered through the bedroom from the window. What was it about him that I was attracted to? I couldn't really work it out. As far as I could recall, I had never been attracted to another man before, but there was no denying what I felt when I was around Theo.

I snuck out of the bed, careful not to wake him, and I made my way to the living room. Taking a seat on the couch, I stared at nothing in particular while I tried to think.

Was it just about the sex? No, it couldn't be. It had been a while since I'd had a regular partner but I had managed just fine without the sex until Theo had happened along. And if I had wanted sex during that time, surely I would have tried to find a willing female partner?

So, what was it? What was happening here? I quickly dismissed the notion that I had somehow 'turned gay'. I chuckled at that thought. At best, I was bi. I evidently didn't have any problem getting it on with Theo. But why hadn't I ever considered getting it on with any other man? Was I really bi? Was it just something about Theo? If so, what the hell was it?

And did it matter?

"What are you up to?" Theo's croaky voice pulled me out of my thoughts and I turned to see him standing in the doorway. Maddeningly, my pulse sped up as I gazed at him. From where I sat, I could see how the light from the living room window was doing a very nice job of highlighting the muscles in his stomach and his hip bones, leading my eye downwards. I sighed and I stood as I looked back up at his face.

"Nothing," I replied. "Let's go back to bed." He turned away and I followed him, my eyes once again drawn to his body. He moved so gracefully and everything was in the right proportions. I suppressed another sigh. Whatever it was, this current obsession with the man in front of me, it was going to be the death of me.

# Chapter 22

I had remembered to set my alarm this time and I was not too pleased when it sounded. I reached out and switched it off before turning to see whether Theo had woken. He was staring at me, his eyes conveying something I couldn't quite pin down. He sighed, blinked a couple of times and reached out to push my hair away from my face.

"I should really spend some time at home tonight, you know," he said softly. I had known this was coming but my stomach sank anyway. I nodded. He was right, of course. The last few days had been great but it couldn't go on indefinitely. I had to go to work; get back to reality and normality. This little thing we had going on was great, but maybe I needed to get some perspective, judging by the way his statement had made me feel.

"Go take a shower," I suggested. "I'll make us some breakfast."

He nodded.

~~~~

After breakfast, Theo departed and I dashed to the bathroom for a quick shower. I made it to work on time and I thanked various people for their well wishes, feeling really guilty as I did so. _Futur3 Gam3s_ , the company I worked for, was small and everyone knew everyone else. At least, we thought we did. As I pretended to be recovering from an unexplained bout of food poisoning, I wondered how many of my fellow workers would have been able to guess what kind of a weekend I'd just had. None of them, I'd bet.

The day progressed smoothly despite the amount of catching up I had to do, and my workload kept my mind off Theo, for the most part. By the time I left that evening, I had got myself back into the rhythm of work, the banter with my co-workers had resumed its usual silliness and I had all but put the previous few days out of my head.

But once I stepped out of the office and started walking towards my apartment I felt inexplicably miserable. I was going home to an empty apartment and I didn't want to. I didn't really want to expose myself to the memories of recent days. And I had this almost irresistible urge to call Theo or head to _Sasha's_ and I had to stop myself.

I shook my head and silently shouted at myself. I was going home and if the apartment was empty \- which it was - so be it. I had to get a grip.

But to postpone the inevitable a little longer, I ducked into a coffee shop on my way home and ordered a large latté. I took it to a table by the window and stared out at the street. Sitting there, watching people heading home or out for the evening, I decided I needed to analyse my thoughts and feelings. Seriously and honestly.

I knew I'd already done a lot of thinking lately and there were some things I had accepted quite happily, such as my attraction towards another man, my willingness and desire to fuck him, the fact that I liked him - a lot.

His personality, his sense of humour, the way he moved, his smell, his touch, the _taste of him_.

I sighed and picked up my drink. I wanted to see him right then and there. I wanted him near me. I wanted to reach out and touch him. I missed him already.

Ω Θεέ μου! I had fallen for him.

That realisation hit me in the gut and I started to shake. I failed to put my coffee down without spilling it. The clattering noise attracted a few pointed looks in my direction and I hurriedly reached for a handful of napkins and started to mop up the spillage.

As the other coffee shop patrons went back to their own business, I slumped in my chair. What was I supposed to do now? What was I supposed to do with that knowledge? Was it even possible to fall for someone so quickly? Was it possible for _me_ to fall for another guy?

I had no frame of reference. Not really. I knew I had never felt like this about anyone else before, but that was _all_ I knew. I didn't even know what love was! So how did I know this wasn't karma trying to get me back for lying about being sick? Maybe I really _was_ getting food poisoning. My stomach definitely felt queer. I chuckled nervously at my own inadvertent joke and heads turned again. _Αμάν!_ These people were going to think I was crazy. Maybe I _was_ crazy.

~~~~

I didn't sleep well. I hardly slept at all. I lay awake for most of the night, tossing and turning, alternating between telling myself I was an idiot - that I was wrong about my feelings - and reliving various moments from the past few days. I knew I was thinking too much. It was a fault of mine. I always tended to overanalyse everything. I was always second-guessing myself.

At around four thirty, I got up, having given up on the idea of getting any sleep and having jerked off once or twice as well. I set up the coffee machine and then decided to spend a couple of hours playing games to distract my mind from its incessant thoughts of a certain Greek guy.

By the time I readied myself for work, I had considered the possibility of talking to my brother Toni and then dismissed that idea as ludicrous. I had considered talking to my sister and again dismissed that notion. I had absolutely no way of knowing how they might react and I didn't want to find out just yet. That had left me with three options. Talk to Theo, talk to Chris, or just keep my damn mouth shut. I decided the best course of action was to do and say nothing. So that's what I did. I went to work, tried my damndest to concentrate on another eight hours of tackling my workload, and I managed to get through the day with the help of plenty of coffee - which would probably assure me of another sleepless night - and the usual office banter.

Back at my apartment, Wednesday evening, I was again restless. On edge. I regretted the amount of coffee I had consumed. As I paced around my living room, I was torn between the ideas of calling Theo, heading over to Queen Street to see him or giving Chris a call. And then two thoughts occurred to me. Firstly, I would be seeing Chris tomorrow anyway; because Thursday was the night we were heading to _G-A-Y_ to see Kylie. Maybe I would find a moment to talk to him then. Maybe, in the meantime, I would think of a way of bringing up the topic, because I didn't have a clue how to do that - which was a good reason not to call him this evening. And secondly, I hadn't had any contact with Theo since Tuesday morning at breakfast. I hadn't called or messaged him, but he hadn't called or messaged me either. Was that a good thing or a bad thing?

Getting annoyed with myself for allowing my brain to go into crazy mode again, I decided to hit the gym, hoping to tire myself out so that I could at least sleep tonight. Otherwise I would be a real mess tomorrow. Not that I wasn't already a mess.

# Chapter 23

Thursday morning I overslept. I had set my alarm - but either I hadn't heard it at all or I had stuck out my hand, half asleep, and turned it off before falling into a deep slumber again. When I finally arrived at work, almost an hour late, my boss told me I looked terrible and asked me if I was sure I had recovered from my illness. Feeling guilty, I assured him I was fine and I buried myself in my work.

Chris called me at lunchtime. "Do you want to grab a sandwich somewhere?" he asked. "I feel like we haven't seen each other for ages."

I didn't really want to, if I was honest. "I saw you Sunday," I replied, not answering his question. "And I'm going to see you tonight."

"Yeah, true," he said. "But I need to get out of this office for a while. I just thought..." He sighed. "Never mind. I'll see you tonight. I'll wait for you outside the main doors."

I felt bad. The only reason I didn't want to see him yet was because I knew I wanted to talk about my obsession with Theo and I hadn't yet come up with a way to do it. I really needed to talk to someone and Chris was the obvious choice. But I was also aware that it could be pretty awkward, given his professed feelings towards me. At some point I would have to discuss that properly with him too. But not tonight. I didn't think I could face it tonight. When I thought about it, all I wanted to do tonight was enjoy the Kylie Minogue gig, get a little drunk and then fall into a dreamless sleep. So maybe I shouldn't talk about Theo tonight at all.

"Are you still there Nick?"

"Yeah, sorry," I replied. "I'm just a little tired." I cleared my throat and added, "I haven't been feeling myself lately." But I had been feeling a lot of someone else. I frowned at my own thoughts.

"Are you sure you want to go out tonight?" Chris asked.

"Oh, definitely," I answered quickly. "I've been looking forward to it." And I had. I still was. I was just a little tired and distracted.

"Alright, well, I'll let you get back to work," my friend suggested. "I have a mountain of work to do anyway and I want to leave early tonight, so I should get my head down instead of thinking of excuses to get away. I'll see you later."

"Later," I echoed and Chris hung up.

~~~~

Before I left the office for the day, my boss cornered me and suggested I was looking unwell again. He told me to take Friday off, which was a joke because I didn't often work Fridays anyway. I tried to muster up a laugh at his attempt at humour but I didn't quite pull it off. He frowned at me and told me to visit a doctor. I assured him that I would and I packed up for the day and left the building.

At home, I prepared some food. I wasn't especially hungry but I knew I would be drinking alcohol tonight and therefore food was a good idea. I ate and then I cleaned the kitchen thoroughly before heading to my bedroom and rifling through my wardrobes, trying to find something suitable to wear to a nightclub that I had never been to before. What did people wear in _G-A-Y_? I didn't have a clue. Chris' reference to half naked men perturbed me a little. Not that I was ever going to contemplate getting half naked in a club, or donning 'tiny shorts' as Chris had put it, but I didn't want to look totally out of place. I remembered his suggestion that he should take me shopping and I laughed. Maybe he _should_ have taken me shopping, at least for tonight's attire. I decided to send him a message.

Nick: What should I wear?

A few moments passed by before I received a response.

Chris: Tight jeans or trousers - tight shirt :P

I sighed.

Nick: Thanks mate - very helpful :/

Chris: Just not baggy jeans and old band t-shirt pls - u need 2 look presentable

He knew me so well. I pulled out a pair of black jeans I had hardly ever worn and held them up, inspecting them. Yeah, they would do.

Nick: Am I allowed to wear boots?

Chris: of course just nice ones & not steelies haha

I didn't own any boots with steel toecaps, so I was safe there.

Nick: Thanks. Catch u later

I wasn't sure what to expect of tonight, really. I tried on the jeans and they seemed to fit okay - not too baggy - so I threw them on the bed and busied myself picking out a shirt to wear. I tossed three options onto the bed alongside the jeans and then I headed for a shave and a shower.

~~~~

I knew that it was unseemly to arrive at a nightclub too early - at least, it was in the straight ones - so I made my way to _O'Shea's_ first. I ordered a drink and perched at the counter while I sipped it slowly. I had successfully managed to avoid thinking about Theo Demetriou for a few hours. But now, my mind wandered back to him. I still hadn't messaged him or called him. I pulled out my phone and stared at it as I decided what I would say if I did. It had to sound casual, not too eager, but it had to let him know that I was still interested in seeing him. Maybe it was sufficient to just fire off a quick message that would let him know that he had been on my mind. Yes, that would do the trick. Casual, not too desperate, just a friendly 'hi'.

Nick: Hey, how's your week going?

I set my phone down on the counter, next to my beer and I tried not to look at it as I sat there hoping for a response. My insides were fluttering with adrenaline. How pathetic was I? I shook my head and reached for the phone, intending to stuff it back in my jacket pocket. It vibrated just as my fingers landed on it. I hurriedly swiped the screen.

Theo: Hey. Was trying to give you some space. Have you had enough?

Enough what? Enough of him or enough space? I rubbed my eyelids with a thumb and finger. Why was I over-thinking everything lately? He obviously meant enough space. Didn't he?

Nick: Sick of all this space. Don't know what to do with it.

A short pause, then:

Theo: Can I see you tomorrow?

I closed my eyes, breathing out a sigh of relief. _Yes, of course you can!_

With a silly grin on my face, I replied, telling him I would stop by _Sasha's_ sometime after five Friday evening and we could take it from there. As soon as I'd sent the message I realised he might not _be_ at _Sasha's_ at five tomorrow. But his response confirmed that he would be.

Theo: Sounds good to me ;)

I grinned at the winking smiley, stuffed my phone back in my jacket pocket before I was tempted to send another message, and I picked up my drink.

~~~~

I hadn't spent long in _O'Shea's_ , having become bored pretty quickly. Instead, I had taken a leisurely stroll through the city centre, heading towards Queen Street. It was still too early to make my way to the nightclub so I wandered along the street, peering into various bars and trying to decide whether it was worth having another drink in one of them. And trying to decide whether I was brave enough to do so. Of course, that was ridiculous because I was heading to one of the gayest nightclubs on the planet later. So I pushed open the door to a bar I'd never been in before and headed for the counter.

The place was packed and it took a little while to be served. I ordered my customary bottle of Amstel and turned to survey the bar as I waited for it to materialise. For the second time in my life, I paid attention to what the other guys in a gay bar were wearing. I didn't look quite so out of place this time, I realised. I grinned to myself in satisfaction. A gentle tap on my shoulder made me turn back to the barman who was grinning too.

"See anything you like?" he asked. He wiggled his eyebrows at me.

I chuckled and felt my face heating up. I reached for my wallet, pulled out a note and held it out to him. He brushed my fingers as he took it from my grasp and my eyes snapped up to his. He winked and turned away from me, heading for the cash register. _Jesus!_ My heart rate had just doubled. For a moment, I contemplated moving away from the counter and letting him keep the change, but it was a twenty and that would have been too large a tip. So I stood there and waited for him to return. And I wondered at my reaction. He handed me my change and I pocketed some and left the rest on the counter. I needed to move away from here and soon. I turned away again.

Scanning the room once more, it was clear to me that there was nowhere to sit. I wandered away from the counter, heading further into the depths of the bar. Finding a space near a wall, I leaned against it and took a few gulps of my beer, wondering why the hell I had thought it was a good idea to come in here. I was out of my depth again.

# Chapter 24

"I've never seen you in here before."

I turned to find the owner of that voice looking me up and down. I guess I had to get used to this somehow. The way people unashamedly checked each other out in places like this. At first it had made me feel uncomfortable, however, since I had arrived in this bar it had occurred a few times already - and what bothered me more _now_ was that I was paying attention when it happened. I was noticing it now. I think I would have been oblivious in the past. This guy wasn't the first to try to engage me in conversation either. But I was still struggling to come up with a response to his comment without tripping over my words a little. I definitely wasn't embracing the gay yet. Maybe I needed more practice.

"I... er." I cleared my throat. "I haven't been in here before," I replied truthfully. I couldn't even remember the name of the bar but they all kind of looked the same to me, except for _Sasha's_ for some reason.

"What made you choose this one tonight?" he asked. He tilted his head to the side and stared at me intently, as if he was really interested in my answer.

Why had I walked in here? Fuck if I knew. I suppose I had been getting sick of walking up and down Queen Street and I had decided I needed a drink. "I was thirsty," I replied.

He broke into a grin and his eyebrows rose. "Really?" he said. How was I supposed to answer that? "I'm Glenn," he added and he stuck out his hand, licked his lips and smiled.

I withheld a sigh and I took his offered hand. I didn't really want to talk to him. I just wanted to drink my drink and get out of here. "Nick," I replied as I tried to pull my hand away. He let it go.

"So," Glenn said as he took up position beside me, leaning one of his shoulders against my wall. "What are your plans for this evening? Anything exciting?"

He wasn't going to leave until I had talked to him, I realised. And then I realised that if I was talking to him, it might mean that others wouldn't try to talk to me. "Yeah," I replied. "I'm going to see Kylie at _G-A-Y_ in a little while."

"Oh, fabulous," he declared with another grin. "I saw her last time. It was a really good night." He paused and stared at me sidelong. "Alone? You're going alone?" I shook my head, about to tell him how I would be meeting Chris at the club, but Glenn answered his own question. "Of course you're not. You're waiting for someone." He sighed.

I shook my head again. "I'm not waiting for him in here. I'm meeting him at the club."

"Boyfriend, I take it?" Glenn asked. He looked down at the glass in his hand and I followed his gaze as he swirled the contents. His ice clinked loudly.

"No," I replied. "Chris is just a friend."

"Oh, right." Glenn pulled himself away from the wall and leaned towards me a little. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

I started to smile, opened my mouth and then closed it again. Did I? I didn't know how to answer that. What was Theo to me? If I had spent as much time with a woman \- and if we'd had sex as much as Theo and I had - I would have called her my girlfriend. But would Theo think in those terms? _Was_ Theo thinking in those terms? I didn't know. I knew how I felt about him but I had no clue how Theo felt about me.

"Well, that was a resounding yes," Glenn suggested. I looked at him. "That look on your face just told me everything I needed to know."

"What look?" I asked, confused.

Glenn chuckled. "That loved-up look that appeared on your face when I said the word 'boyfriend'. You've got it bad. But that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm just a little envious, that's all."

I couldn't help smiling. "He is pretty great, I have to say." _Wow, did I say that out loud?_ I was mildly surprised that I wasn't even embarrassed by the fact that my face had betrayed my feelings so easily. To a complete stranger. Maybe that was why I wasn't so embarrassed. Glenn was a stranger and I would probably never see him again after I left this bar.

"What's his name? Tell me about him."

"Theo? You want me to talk about him?" Glenn nodded; a big grin on his face. "Okay," I said. "What do you want to know?"

"Tell me what he looks like."

"Um," I pictured him in my mind. "Tall, dark curly hair, broad shoulders..." I trailed off. Slim hips, toned muscles in all the right places, nice hands. I chuckled. Theo had nice hands. When had I noticed that?

"What are you laughing at?" asked Glenn.

I felt myself blush a little. Was it hot in here or was it just me? "He has nice hands," I told Glenn without thinking.

He wiggled his eyebrows at me. "Is he good with his hands?"

I laughed again. This conversation was not going the way I had anticipated. "Yeah, he's very good with his hands." Fuck it! It was true.

"What colour are his eyes? I like eyes," Glenn said.

"Brown with little flecks of gold in them," I replied. "With really long lashes."

Glenn sighed. "He sounds gorgeous. Just my type. How long have you two been together?"

"Not long," I replied. I didn't elaborate. _Were_ we together? I decided that the only way to answer that question was to talk to Theo about it tomorrow. Somehow. Try to find out what exactly it was we had going on between us. I didn't want it to stop anytime soon, I knew that much.

"Hey." Glenn waved a hand in front of my eyes. "Where did you go? Is everything alright?"

"Oh, yes," I answered. "Sorry." I chewed my lip. "Can I ask you a silly question?" Glenn nodded and offered me an encouraging smile. "Have you ever been in love?" I decided that, because I was never going to see this guy again, I could get away with such stupidity.

Glenn rolled his eyes and sighed again. "More than once, yes."

"How did you know?" _Jeez!_ What was I doing talking to a total stranger about shit like this?

"You know, when you can't stop thinking about him," Glenn responded. "You know, when you get excited at the thought of seeing him. You know, when you get scared at the thought of _not_ seeing him. You want to be with him all the time." I was nodding my head along with his words. Yep, that's what I thought. "Does he love you?"

I sucked in a breath. I had no idea. No, he probably didn't. And I wouldn't expect him to. We had only known each other for a week. I was an idiot. Why had I started to talk about this?

Glenn leaned towards me. "Let me give you a little piece of advice," he said. "Play it cool for a while."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well," he continued. "I've only known you for five minutes, but your emotions are showing all over your face. You said you haven't been together long but it's clear you've fallen for him. But it's also pretty clear you haven't a clue how he feels. So, play it cool until you can work that out. Some guys run at the first sign of 'feelings'." He made air quotes. "If your Theo is one of those guys, you need to try to keep your emotions to yourself a little more. Don't be so obvious until you know where you stand." Glenn leaned against the wall again and raised his eyebrows. "You understand me?"

I shook my head slowly. "How did you get to be so wise?" I asked.

He winked. "Too many broken hearts. I learned the hard way." Then he chuckled. "And I'm older than I look, I'll have you know."

"Why? How old are you?" I asked before thinking.

Glenn laughed again. "Oh no," he said, shaking his head at me. "I'm not telling you that unless you buy me a drink!"

I grinned. "What are you drinking?"

~~~~

Glenn and I had exchanged phone numbers before I'd left the bar, which was called _The Pink Lady_ , I had discovered. We had chatted for a while about all kinds of things and it had passed the time nicely. So much so that Glenn had needed to remind me that I had a nightclub to visit. As I approached _G-A-Y_ , I could see that Chris was already waiting for me outside. I pulled out my phone and checked the time. I wasn't late, thankfully, but I had cut it pretty close.

"I was just about to send out a search party," Chris said, grinning.

"I'm not late," I replied indignantly.

"No, but I assumed you would have been early," he replied. "Where have you been tonight?"

"How do you know I've been anywhere?" I asked in return as we moved over to stand in the queue.

"Because I can smell the alcohol, for one thing," Chris supplied. "And I can also smell cologne that's not yours." He looked at me sideways. "Were you with Theo?"

I shook my head and looked over at the entrance to the club, trying to guess how long it would be before we got inside. "No, I haven't seen Theo since Tuesday," I told him. We shuffled forward in the queue. "I went to a bar called _The Pink Lady_ ," I added.

"Oh, wow!" Chris responded.

"What?" I asked, turning my head to see a look of surprise on his face. "What's wrong with it?"

"I bet you were out of your depth in there," he said quietly. "The last time I went in there... Oh, never mind." He took a couple of steps forward and I followed.

"The last time you went in there... what?" I asked, intrigued.

He chuckled. "It's the most notorious pickup joint on Queen Street, that's all. I'm surprised you got out of there in one piece."

My eyebrows rose in surprise. It hadn't seemed that bad to me. "I didn't notice," I suggested.

"Yeah, well, you probably weren't looking in the right places," he said. "Or, more probably, you were avoiding looking at the blatant hooking up going on all around you. I know how you always get a little uncomfortable with that."

I grunted. "I can hardly be accused of that anymore, can I?" But suddenly I was grateful to Glenn for sticking by my side and capturing my attention enough that I hadn't noticed what Chris was describing. I probably would have still been uncomfortable with it. Strange, really, considering the things Theo and I had been getting up to. I really needed to sort out my head.

"No, you can't," Chris muttered. I looked at him and he smiled. "Funny how things change," he added.

"Yeah," I said, frowning slightly. We reached the entrance and Chris pulled out our tickets and handed them to the doorman. We were ushered through the door after he handed them back to Chris.

Inside the club, it was loud, hot, dazzling with flashing lights and it smelled of various perfumes and colognes which, unfortunately, did little to mask the underlying scent of sweat. A typical nightclub, in other words. At first glance it didn't look much different to the nightclubs I usually frequented. But as my eyes adjusted to the light level, the differences became more apparent. Chris hadn't been wrong when he had suggested there would be men in various stages of undress. And there were other differences. Subtle differences, but enough to make it evident this was one of the most popular _gay_ nightclubs around.

Chris headed towards a bar and I followed. I was perspiring already. I could feel the first prickling of sweat forming between my shoulder blades and on my forehead. "What do you want to drink?" Chris shouted over his shoulder.

"Just water for now," I shouted back. He nodded his understanding and waited to be served. I scanned the space that I found myself in. I could see the stage in the distance and there was already someone performing on it, but it wasn't Kylie so I assumed it was a warm up act. They weren't very good, but the people on the dance floor right in front of the stage seemed to be enjoying themselves regardless.

"Here," Chris shouted over the din as he offered me a bottle of water. I took it and nodded my thanks. "Let's head over that way," my friend suggested, pointing to an area near the dance floor and closer to the stage. I nodded again and gestured for him to lead the way.

~~~~

We had taken up a position near a pillar that had a shelf where we could rest our drinks, and we had been there for a while. It overlooked the main dance floor, offering a good view of the stage and I was reluctant to give up the spot, so when guys had approached and asked Chris to dance, I had remained by the pillar, guarding our little space and watching my friend having fun. I had been approached myself once or twice and politely declined the offer of a dance. I was here to see Kylie Minogue and that was all. Besides, I wasn't sure I would feel happy dancing with another guy and I certainly didn't think I could dance like _that_.

I had discovered there were little hooks underneath the shelf and I had hung up my jacket earlier. It was definitely too hot in here to be wearing it. I stooped and fished out my phone so I could check the time. Surely it was about time for Ms Minogue to make an appearance. The later it became, the more I considered this evening just wasn't worth it. I was too warm, I was feeling tired, my eyes were hurting and I really would have loved to sit down somewhere, but the place was absolutely rammed and I guessed there would be nowhere to sit anyway. I knew I was becoming more irritated. My mood was definitely turning sour. It didn't help that, now and then, someone brushed up behind me and none-too-subtly tried to grope me. I tried to ignore it every time it happened.

I was thinking about leaving when suddenly the lighting changed and people began to make more noise. The clapping and cheering began in earnest as an announcer asked us to welcome Kylie to the stage. _About bloody time!_

She started with one of my favourites, which immediately got me in the mood. I watched her on the stage but in my mind's eye, I was also seeing the video that had first brought her to my attention. That was the video which accompanied " _Spinning Around_ ". Those tiny gold shorts; the way she gyrated against that guy on the dance floor - lucky bastard! The moment when she writhed about on the top of the bar or threw herself over the couch, kicking her legs in the air - all of it ran through my head. That was when I'd _really_ had the hots for her. The number of times I had jerked off in my bedroom while watching that video... Well, I had been a horny thirteen year old at the time.

A horny _heterosexual_ teenager. That thought hit me out of the blue. I was no longer the hetero guy I had believed I was for all those years. For a moment, I forgot about Kylie doing her thing on stage and I wondered. Had I always had a hint of gayness in me? I tried to think back; tried to remember a time when I had ever looked at another boy and become mildly turned on or even just a little curious. I shook my head and reached for my bottle of water.

As I drank, I gazed over at the dance floor. Was I turned on by any of the men out there? No, I didn't think I was. I looked up at the stage. Kylie was dressed to kill in a skimpy gold thing that clung in all the right places. But was _she_ giving me a rise? No, she wasn't. She finished her song to great applause and immediately launched into " _Can't Get You Out Of My Head_ ". That was another favourite of mine from 2001. Another great video - for a straight teen, anyway. The white piece of cloth she had worn... I had watched that video over and over, hoping she would one day fall out of it, as she had threatened to do. But no, her modesty had remained intact, no matter how many times I had watched. I chuckled to myself and shook my head. I was too busy reminiscing to watch the show. I redirected my attention to the stage.

As the first synthesizer sounds of " _All The Lovers_ " began, Chris appeared in front of me, breathlessly shouted, "I love this song," and grabbed my hands. He dragged me onto the dance floor and my protests went unheard. I momentarily worried about my jacket and whether anyone was likely to steal my phone, before I was caught up in the mass of bodies and I finally began to let myself go.

I can dance; I just don't like to do it very often. But this dancing was very unlike any other kind I had experienced. There was an awful lot more touching than I was used to. And I'm not referring to Chris, although he was doing his best to pull me against him. No, other people were pressing up against me and it occurred to me that there was a reason so many of these guys had taken their shirts off. It was fucking hot on this floor. I was perspiring profusely within seconds. But I thought 'what the heck' and I threw myself into the spirit of the evening.

Kylie then moved onto a couple of songs I didn't know - probably tracks from her latest album, which I didn't own - before performing " _Put Your Hands Up_ " which was a song I knew from her album " _Aphrodite_ ". And so I threw my hands in the air like everyone else.

~~~~

When Kylie said her goodbyes, I made my way to the edge of the dance floor. Chris grabbed my arm, having followed me. "Where are you going?" he asked.

"To the bar," I answered. "I'm thirsty."

"I'll come with you," he shouted. I shook my head.

"No, you stay and dance. I'll get the drinks." I moved away, heading for the bar after grabbing my jacket. My phone was still in my inside pocket which surprised me. Once at the bar, I caught the attention of a barman pretty quickly, which also surprised me a little, and I ordered a couple of bottles of water.

"It's too warm over there," Chris said behind me. I hadn't realised he'd followed. I passed a bottle to him and he pulled off the cap and downed half of it in one long swallow. I followed suit. I knew I was going to be really dehydrated in the morning. I glanced over at the packed dance floor, feeling glad that I didn't have to go to work tomorrow.

I did a double-take. I looked again at the mass of bodies on the dance floor. I could have _sworn_ I'd seen... I searched for a familiar head of dark curly hair but I didn't see it. I almost rolled my eyes at myself. Could I not get that man out of my head for five minutes?

"What did you think?" asked Chris at my side.

"What? Think about what?" I asked. I didn't know what he was referring to.

"Kylie!" he shouted and he shook his head at me, grinning. "Did you enjoy it?"

I grinned back. "Of course I did."

"And the dancing?" he asked. "I haven't seen you let your hair down like that for a long time."

I chuckled. He was right. I hadn't let my guard down that much for ages. I nodded my head. "It was fun," I shouted, smiling. He grinned at me and began to chug more water. I let my gaze wander over to the dance floor again. It _had_ been fun.

My smile slipped as my eyes landed on Theo and his dance partner. The crowd had parted just at that moment and I got a very good look at what they were doing. Adrenaline flooded my insides and I felt my face heat up. The young guy that Theo had his arms wrapped around was topless and he was pushing his arse back into Theo's crotch. Theo's eyes were closed and he was biting his bottom lip. I tore my gaze away, feeling sick.

"What's up?" I heard Chris' voice but I didn't really understand the question. I was too preoccupied with my own thoughts. I was a _fucking idiot!_ I _should have known_ Theo didn't have feelings for me. It was all just a bit of fun for him - and I had stupidly allowed myself to become attached to him. _Jeez!_ What had I been thinking? What the _fuck_ was wrong with me? I wasn't even _into_ men!

Knowing it was a stupid move, I looked over at the dance floor again and immediately wished I hadn't. Theo's hands were roaming all over that other guy's chest. I bit my tongue as I tried to get myself under control. It wasn't worth getting upset over. Theo meant nothing to me. _Nothing! Get a fucking grip, Niko!_

At that moment, Theo's eyes opened and he looked around a little before his gaze inadvertently landed on me. The look of surprise on his face was almost amusing.

It was time I left. I turned and headed for the exit. "Nick?" I heard Chris shout my name but I ignored him. "Nick!" he shouted, more insistently, but I was already halfway to the exit and I wasn't stopping for anything or anyone.

# Chapter 25

The frigid air hit me like a cold shower as I pushed through the doors. I shivered and pulled on my jacket as I strode along the street. I was glad I hadn't drunk very much alcohol. I was almost completely sober. But I was pissed off. I couldn't believe how angry I was. I had momentarily been upset inside but now I was angry. And embarrassed. I was cringing. How had he managed to make such a fool of me? Why had I allowed him to make a fool out of me?

I shook my head in annoyance as I made it to the end of Queen Street and turned left. I wasn't ready to go home yet because I was too wound up. I needed to let off steam. I headed for the part of town where the _straight_ nightclubs were.

~~~~

I leaned up against the wall and gazed over the dance floor, a bottle of beer in my hand. My third bottle of beer since arriving in _Heaven & Hell_. I had also downed three shots of tequila by now. I was making sure I could feel the alcohol, because it had cost me full price to get into this club, even though the night was half over. It was just something else to piss me off.

I had chatted to a couple of girls at the bar before taking up station near the action on the dance floor. One of those girls walked past me now, and I didn't fail to notice the way she looked back at me over her shoulder. I watched her walk away, my eyes travelling down to her arse, encased in tight little shorts. She paused at the railing that encircled the dance floor and leaned over it then she flicked her head, her light brown hair swishing over her shoulders. It reached almost down to her waist. I felt a twitch in my jeans.

I pushed myself away from the wall and made my way over to her. Leaning on the railing beside her, I turned my head and watched her face. She tried to hide a smirk but failed miserably. Then she turned her head towards me and openly appraised me before sticking her tongue out and drawing it slowly across her bottom lip. I grinned at her and my jeans became a little tighter.

"What's your name?" I asked.

"Kate," she replied. "What's yours?"

"Nick," I told her. "Nice to meet you again, Kate."

~~~~

We had managed to find an empty couch on one of the upper floors of the club. But my heart was no longer in it. Or should I say my _dick_ was no longer in it. We'd had our tongues down each other's throats for a while - and she was a decent kisser - but the more we kissed, the less I was into it. I was really just going through the motions and I realised that. Her hand massaging my crotch was no longer having any effect either and I began to feel guilty and pulled away from her.

"I think I need to use the men's room," I suggested. It was a blatant lie. I just wanted to get away from her. And I didn't even care if she knew that. I just knew I couldn't use her like this. I stood and headed for the stairs and I didn't look back.

Was I trying to prove something to myself? If so, what? That I was still capable of fancying attractive women? Or that I could put Theo behind me without any problem? I didn't know. I jogged down the stairs and came to the conclusion that I'd had enough of this place. I made straight for the exit.

Out on the street again, I still didn't want to go home. So I pulled out my phone and checked the time. I nodded to myself. There would still be some bars open somewhere. I started walking back the way I had come earlier. Before long I was at the entrance to Queen Street again and I paused, looking down the street. There were guaranteed to be some open bars down there.

Yeah, another drink would definitely be welcome right now.

~~~~

_Sasha's_ was closed but I had never had any intention of going in there anyway. I walked right on past, not giving it a second glance and I found myself standing in front of _The Pink Lady_ again. It was still open. I tugged on the door handle just as a couple of guys were about to leave and they both stumbled into me a little and giggled. "Sorry," I said and I stood aside so that they could get out.

"Thanks, gorgeous," one of them said as they passed me and I chuckled and slipped inside. It was nice to think _someone_ thought I was gorgeous. My ego had taken a bashing earlier. Okay, Kate had certainly hinted that she thought I was attractive, but I didn't want to think about her anymore. I needed to get wasted now so that I could go home and fall into oblivion, and forget that this night - and the previous week - had ever happened.

I ordered a beer and a shot of tequila to start with and I looked around for somewhere to sit. The place was still busy but it wasn't quite as crowded as it had been earlier, so I had a few seats to choose from. I picked up my shot glass and threw back the contents before slamming the glass down on the counter and bringing my beer to my lips. I spied a comfortable couch and made my way over to it. As I flopped down I felt myself relax a little. I decided I would have another beer - maybe two - after this one and then I would call a cab.

"Is this seat free?" someone asked and I peered up at the person that the voice belonged to. I couldn't see him properly because the light was behind his head, but he was gesturing at the empty spot next to me on the couch. I shrugged and nodded.

"Help yourself," I said. I brought my beer back to my lips.

He sighed as he sat down; a heavy sigh that mirrored just how I felt. "It's good to sit down finally," he said. I looked at him, able to see his face now. He turned and looked back at me. "I've been on my feet all night and I'm exhausted." He smiled a toothy grin.

I smiled back. "Yeah," I agreed. "I needed to sit too."

"What have you been up to this evening?" he asked. "I'm Craig, by the way."

"Nick," I replied. "I hit a couple of clubs."

"Ah, right," Craig offered. "Not me, I'm afraid. I wish I had. I've been working all night in a bar down the street. We've only just closed and I didn't want to go home yet."

"I know the feeling," I mused.

"Why's that?" he asked.

I sighed and shook my head a little. "I have a tendency to overthink things when I'm alone," I responded without too much thought.

"Okay," said Craig. "That's easily solved." I looked at him again and he grinned at me once more. "Don't be alone, then."

# Chapter 26

I stared at him, my stomach slowly flipping over as I worked out what I thought he meant. The look in his eyes told me I was right as he stared back, almost like he was giving me some kind of challenge. There was a little smirk on his lips.

I didn't know what to say. I could tell he was waiting for a response. Did I find him attractive? I guess he _was_ good looking; I hadn't thought about it until then. But lately I had been wondering whether I was attracted to other guys; whether I would ever want to get into the kind of thing I had started with Theo. Or, whether it was _only_ Theo. And here was a perfect opportunity to find out.

And why was I even thinking about Theo? _Stop that right now_ , I told myself.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Craig raise his arm and lay it along the back of the couch. I swallowed and my eyes closed as I felt his fingers brush the back of my neck and then make their way up into my hair. That was one of my things - someone playing with my hair - and the back of my neck was very sensitive. I tried not to shudder.

I tried not to push Craig away, moments later, when he kissed me. Despite a slight feeling of panic rising in me, I realised that me closing my eyes was probably a signal to him that I wanted this. _Did_ I want this? It seemed my body did, judging by its reaction. So I kissed him back and I reached up and wrapped my hand around the back of his head as I tilted mine so that we could prolong the kiss. He tasted of whatever he had just been drinking. Rum and coke, I thought, as I slid my tongue around inside his mouth. Sweet. And hot. His mouth was very hot.

I breathed in sharply through my nose when he groped my cock through my jeans, which were starting to feel a little too tight. _Fuck!_ I suddenly remembered where we were and I pulled away and looked around the bar in a panic.

"What's wrong?" asked Craig. He cleared his throat softly and I almost laughed despite my nerves. His voice had been incredibly husky when he'd spoken. I swallowed to get my own throat working.

"We're sitting in the middle of a bar," I whispered.

"Come on," he replied and he grabbed my hand and stood, pulling me up with him. I immediately realised what his intentions were when we started in the direction of the rear of the bar. The men's room. I remembered what Chris had said, about this place being a pickup joint. And I remembered the conversation on Sunday about that other bar's 'facilities' being used for sex on a Saturday night. I stopped in my tracks, pulling Craig to a halt.

"No," I stated. "I can't." I shook my head.

Craig looked at me quizzically. "Why not?" he asked. "Just one blowjob. I'm desperate here."

That did it. While my erection had begun to flag a little at the thought of having sex in a toilet, it completely deflated at his words. He was desperate and he'd picked on me to help him out of his desperation. _Thanks a lot!_ I tugged my hand out of his. "Sorry," I said. "I'm too tired or too drunk." I shook my head at him again. "Or both," I added. "Yeah, probably both." I backed away from him. "I'm going home, sorry."

I just about registered the look of amazement on his features before I turned and headed for the exit.

~~~~

The fucking elevator was on the top floor again! I banged on the call button with my fist, angry at the elevator, angry at the tosser who had last used it.

Angry at myself.

I wasn't even angry at Theo anymore. I had gone past that stage and now I was just blaming myself for being such a fool. I wanted to kick something. As the doors finally slid open, the image of Theo with his hands all over that twink - yeah, I know what a twink is - appeared in front of my eyes and I did kick something. There was a waste bin beside the elevator - I was one of the people who had insisted we needed one there - and it went flying after my foot connected with it. I strode between the doors and hit the button for the fifth floor. Several times. I just wanted to go to bed and forget everything. Fuck Theo. Fuck Craig. Fuck Kylie Minogue. Fuck everyone!

I felt so tired. Completely drained, now that I had lashed out with my temper. I leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes. What a night! One I didn't ever plan to repeat. The ping and the swish of the doors pulled me upright and I shuffled out onto my floor.

I immediately stopped as I saw the person who was sitting by my front door. I recognised the hair right away, even though he had his head buried between his knees, his arms wrapped around his legs. I sighed. How long had he been waiting?

I walked forward slowly, not sure if he was asleep. I touched the top of his head. "How long have you been here?" I asked. Chris raised his head.

"I haven't a clue," he replied. "What time is it?"

I chuckled and held out my hand. "I haven't a clue about that either," I said. He took my hand and I pulled him to his feet. I hugged him; both our bodies slumping a little from lack of energy.

"Wanna talk about it?" Chris asked as he pulled away from me.

I bit my tongue and searched for my keys instead of answering him. I unlocked the door, ushered him through it and then closed and locked it behind me. I took off my jacket and hung it up before turning and holding out my hand for his. Chris shrugged out of it and I didn't look at him as I took the jacket and hung it next to mine. He was studying me, waiting for my answer.

"Yeah, okay," I sighed. "Do you want something to drink?" I headed in the direction of the kitchen.

"Just water," he replied from right behind me. I filled two glasses and handed one to my friend. I took a sip from mine and watched Chris as he glanced around my kitchen before returning his gaze to me. "You look exhausted," he remarked.

"So do you," I answered. He did. He looked worse than me, I was sure. "Do you wanna sleep? We can talk in the morning."

"It _is_ morning," he chuckled.

He had a point. I put my glass down, left the kitchen and turned towards the bedrooms. Sleep was still a good idea. I pushed open the door to the spare bedroom and carried on walking to my own room. When I opened the door I turned back to Chris and realised he hadn't taken the hint but had followed me to my room. I was too drained to say anything so I just entered my bedroom, sat on the end of the bed and bent to pull off my boots. Chris sat next to me and toed off his shoes before shuffling backwards up to the top of the bed. I twisted and looked at him as he lay down on his side and propped his head on his hand. He patted the bed next to him.

"Do you want some clothes to sleep in?" I asked. "A t-shirt or something?"

"Come here," he directed.

With a sigh, I crawled up the bed and lay next to him, flat on my back. I stared up at the ceiling and waited for him to say something.

"I went searching for you," he said. "I couldn't work out why you left so suddenly but I could tell you weren't happy about something. Obviously, I didn't find you. Where did you go? And what happened?"

_What happened?_ I had my hopes crushed, that was all. _Stupid hopes_. I shut my eyes. "I went to another club. _Heaven & Hell_."

"But why so suddenly? And why wasn't I invited?"

"I'm sorry, Chris." I turned to look at him. He was puzzled, not upset. I could tell by his expression. "I didn't mean to walk out and leave you. I was..." _Upset_. "I was a little annoyed, that's all."

"Why? Tell me."

"I saw Theo on the dance floor..." I stopped and closed my eyes again. I could see the image in my head and I didn't want to. There was a moment of silence before Chris filled it.

"With someone else."

It wasn't a question. It was a statement. I nodded anyway. The bed creaked and the next minute, Chris had pulled me into a hug.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. There was another moment of silence where all I could hear was our breathing and my heartbeat, before he spoke again. "You had kind of fallen for him, hadn't you?"

I screwed my eyes shut and bit down on my tongue as my throat tightened up. _Stupid emotions_. I couldn't cope with this. I wasn't usually an emotional guy but this... this feeling was alien to me and I didn't know how to deal with it. Chris rubbed my back softly then pulled back a little and kissed my forehead. I was going to cry if I wasn't careful. _Stupid tears_. How unmanly! I choked back a laugh at the thought and Chris must have assumed I _was_ crying because he hugged me tighter. I let him. It felt good. I needed it.

Eventually I pulled away a little and we stared at each other for a moment before he asked, "Do you want to tell me what you saw?"

I half shrugged, my tiredness really beginning to kick in. "He was dirty dancing with some young guy," I told him. "He had his hands all over the other dude and _he_ was pushing his arse back into Theo's..." Chris nodded quickly. I clamped my mouth shut.

He chewed his lip before speaking. "There was a lot of that kind of dancing happening inside _G-A-Y_. Didn't you notice?"

I hadn't noticed. Well, actually, I had, but I had tried to ignore it.

Chris sighed. "You're probably making a big thing out of nothing, you know?"

"What do you mean?" I asked. "How could I misinterpret that? They were virtually having sex!" My voice had risen and I shook my head, sighing because I was getting annoyed again.

"They were _dancing_ , that's all," Chris said. "You don't frequent those kinds of places, Nick. You don't know."

I heard his words, but I wasn't convinced. "They were all over each other. You don't dance like that with a complete stranger, so they obviously knew each other. And I bet they went somewhere and fucked right after I saw them." I heard my own words and sighed again. I was upset. But was I being irrational? Was that really normal behaviour in the clubs I didn't visit? Chris was right. I didn't really know what I was talking about, did I?

I thought about Craig right then \- and what I had nearly done; what I had nearly contemplated doing with him. I flushed at the thought. But if I was that close to accompanying a stranger to the men's room of a bar for a blowjob or whatever, then why wouldn't Theo do the same thing? I threw myself down on my back and covered my eyes with my hand. I was tired. I was drunk and I was upset and I wasn't thinking straight.

"You need sleep," Chris murmured. "Come on, get out of those clothes and get into bed. I'll go to the other bedroom."

I lifted my hand away from my face. "No, stay here," I said. I didn't really want to be alone because my mind would go into overdrive. Chris sighed and heaved himself off the bed.

"I'll stay but you need to get undressed," he replied. So I did. I stood and stripped down to my underwear, leaving all my other clothes in a pile by the side of the bed, and then I slid under the covers. Chris copied my actions but I noticed the huge gap he left between us. He would fall out of the bed if he wasn't careful.

"I'm not contagious, you know?" I suggested, looking over at him in the dim light. He laughed and scooted a little closer. We lay in silence for a while. I was conscious of my mind trying to replay images from the previous few hours and I tried my hardest to stop it happening. I tried to blank everything out so that I could sleep. But it wasn't easy.

The silence continued for some time and I assumed that Chris was asleep. I was really tired but I was wide awake. It was annoying. I contemplated getting up and moving to the living room. Chris' voice startled me when he spoke again. "I need to tell you something," he mumbled. I turned my head and looked in his direction. He was staring up at the ceiling, as wide awake as me.

"What?" I prompted.

I thought I saw him smile but I couldn't be sure. "I've worked something out and it's a little bit embarrassing." He turned his head away a little. I waited for him to continue. "All those years... I thought I had a crush on you... but I realised something this week." He chuckled to himself. "Oh, wow, this is embarrassing but I have to say it now. You were my straight best friend. And it was a fantasy." He turned his gaze towards me again. "A stupid fantasy, I admit, but fantasy all the same."

"I'm not following," I said, puzzled. What was he trying to say?

"A gay boy's fantasy, Nick. To turn his straight friend." He laughed again quietly. "Since I found out you're no longer straight, I realised I no longer have the hots for you like I did." I frowned without conscious thought. "I mean... don't take that the wrong way, you're still attractive. I still think you're good looking. But I just don't feel the way I did." He paused, presumably waiting for me to respond somehow. I didn't know how to respond so I lay there looking back at him, digesting his words. "I hope..." He cleared his throat. "I hope we can go back to being friends the way we used to be."

I was flooded with a feeling of relief. "Of course we can!" I exclaimed. "I want that more than anything." My throat inexplicably closed up and I reached for him, turning my body towards his. "Come here," I croaked.

~~~~

The light was hurting my eyes so I lay there for a while with my arm covering them. I had no idea what time it was but it was daylight and I was thirsty so I took a deep breath before sitting up and looking around the room. Chris was still asleep, it seemed. I slipped out of bed and went to the bathroom. I looked down at the tent in my boxers and shook my head. I didn't want to do anything with _that_ except take a leak, so I decided to brush my teeth before attempting to urinate. I rinsed my mouth and then stuck my head under the running water, taking a few gulps to appease my thirst, but making the need to piss even stronger. Grabbing a towel, I wiped my mouth and then I whipped out my little friend and ordered him to obey, trying to direct him at the toilet bowl.

Once that had been taken care of I made my way to the kitchen. Coffee was required. I felt like shit. I was still tired, my eyes were hurting and I had the beginnings of a hangover. I set up the coffee machine and then rummaged around in the kitchen drawers, searching for a bottle of aspirin that I knew I had somewhere.

"I'm so glad I didn't have to work today," Chris said behind me.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" I asked. He shook his head and came fully into the room. "Coffee?"

"Oh god, yes please!" he replied.

I chuckled then winced. My hand closed around the aspirin bottle and I pulled it from the drawer and unscrewed the cap. I poured a couple into my hand then replaced the lid and made as if to throw it to Chris. He nodded and held out his hands so I tossed it to him.

I poured our coffee and took it through to the living room. Chris followed and sat next to me when I took a seat on the couch. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Like crap," I responded. "You?"

"Pretty much," he agreed. I handed him a mug. We sipped in silence for a while. My head was beginning to throb and I hoped that those aspirin would start working soon. Chris coughed. "Are we cool?" he asked. I looked at his face and nodded.

"Of course we are," I reassured him. "Although, if you keep using words like 'cool', we might not be." I winked at him and he laughed and then cringed.

"Ouch, that hurt!"

I pulled a sympathetic face. I knew how he felt.

~~~~

Having finished my shower, I stepped out and dried myself off a little before wrapping the towel around my body. I sprayed on a little deodorant and then caught sight of my reflection in the mirror. The shower hadn't done much to make me look better although I certainly felt better than I had earlier. I probably should have shaved though. I ran my hand over my chin and cheeks. Yep, definitely should have shaved. But I couldn't face it.

Moving back through my bedroom I headed for the kitchen again and I heard the water shut off in the other bathroom. Chris had also finished in the shower so it was time to make some more coffee and probably fix us up with something to eat. Something really stodgy and full of carbohydrates, I decided. That would soak up what remained of the alcohol. I filled up the coffee maker again, pulled out all the ingredients I needed for pancakes and started to prepare a batter.

"Would it be alright if I borrowed some of your clothes?" asked Chris.

"No problem," I replied. "Help yourself." I continued to work on the pancake batter, assuming that Chris would take himself off to my bedroom and find what he needed for himself.

There was a loud rap at the front door. I groaned. I didn't want visitors today. I was only just managing to function. The only reason I was coping with preparing pancakes was because I desperately needed the food. "Chris? Can you get that for me?" I shouted. "Tell them to go away," I added.

I set the batter aside and hunted in the cabinet for the pan I always used for pancakes. I had plenty of frying pans but there was only one, I had discovered, that allowed me to make the perfect cake. I pulled it out and winced a little as the clattering noise hurt my head.

"Nick?"

"What?" I shouted, wincing again.

"Nick, come here will you?" Chris shouted back.

I sighed heavily and set the pan down on the stove. "What is it?" I asked as I reached the kitchen doorway and peered down the hallway. "Can't you--"

My heart leapt into my throat and my stomach did a queasy flip at the sight of Theo standing at my front door. I looked to Chris, standing there staring back at me apologetically, his hand still on the door handle. He shrugged. "You have a visitor," he stated and then he pulled a face.

# Chapter 27

I took a few steps towards the front door but then stopped. I didn't want to talk to Theo right now. I had to get my thoughts straight first. "What are you doing here?" I asked as I decided to stare down at my hall carpet rather than at the man standing in my doorway.

Theo chuckled and I looked up again. I didn't see what was funny. He rolled his eyes. "Looking for you."

"Congratulations, you found me," I replied sarcastically. "In my own home, of all places." I saw Chris pull another face and I felt guilty. I was putting my friend in an awkward position. "I'm sorry, Chris." I waved at the door. "Let him in." I turned and made my way back to the kitchen.

How the fuck was I supposed to handle this conversation? I wasn't sure if I could say what was on my mind. I didn't know if I had overreacted, as Chris had suggested. I didn't even know if I was _entitled_ to overreact. Was it all just a bit of fun to Theo? His laugh had suggested he thought all this was amusing. Did he have any feelings for me at all? I stirred the pancake batter and then realised I no longer had an appetite for pancakes.

"About last night," Theo's voice floated across the space between us. I shut my eyes and leaned heavily on the counter, not wishing to turn and face him.

"What about it?" I muttered.

"Hey, Nick?" That was Chris. "I'm just going to get dressed. Shout me if you need me."

"Yeah, thanks," I replied.

"So..." The scraping of a chair on the floor made me cringe. Theo was taking a seat and making himself comfortable. "I guess I should explain."

"You don't have to," I shot back. "You don't owe me any explanations." _Yes, you do_. I chewed my cheek and waited to hear it.

"Yes, I do," he said and then he sighed. "That was Lucas. He works for me."

I frowned. How exactly did that explain anything? Did Theo shag all his employees? "Who? I mean what? Who was Lucas?" I wasn't articulating very well what I wanted to say.

Theo sighed again; a heavy sigh that sounded as if he'd dragged it from the depths of his soul. He spoke slowly. "The guy you saw me dancing with last night. On the dance floor at _G-A-Y_. That was Lucas and he is one of my employees."

"Okay," I replied. Still didn't explain what I saw. Nope. Not at all.

"He's getting married next weekend. Last night was his stag night. My bar staff are a strange bunch of people." Theo cleared his throat. "Do you think I could have a cup of coffee?" he asked.

I opened my eyes and stared down at the counter. Theo was nervous. Why? I reached for a mug and poured some coffee then finally turned and looked at him. He was staring into space, chewing his bottom lip and frowning. That didn't make me feel any better. I walked across the gap between us, set the mug down in front of him and made to move away, back to my spot on the other side of the room. He grabbed my arm and looked up at me. "They had a bet."

"What?"

"My bar staff. They had a collection to buy a wedding present for Lucas and then they decided to make him work for it. They bet him that he wouldn't have the courage to ask me to dance. Apparently, he said he'd have no problem asking me to dance, so they changed the bet and told him he would have to grind on me to get his wedding money." He was still holding onto my arm. "I was in on the joke. I was supposed to take him by surprise and grind on him. Make him think that he was turning me on. See how far I could push him before he got scared and ran away." Theo glanced down at his own hand where his fingers were digging into my arm and he let go. "I'm sorry," he added, holding both hands up.

What was he sorry for? Crushing my arm or dancing with Lucas? Did that story even sound feasible? Or was he making it up? It did sound a little ridiculous to me. I needed something more. But I wasn't sure what. I backed away. I took up my previous spot near the coffee machine and I leant with my back against the counter. Folding my arms across my chest, I tried to sound nonchalant when I spoke.

"Doesn't matter to me," I said. "You can dance with anyone you like. I don't care."

"But I do!" Theo shouted. I winced. He pushed back his chair and I winced again. The noise was horrendous. He stalked over to me and grabbed my shoulders. "I fucking care!" he half shouted, half whispered. "Don't you get it? I care about you!"

I breathed through the adrenaline rush I'd received when he had grabbed me and then his words sank in. My pulse rate jumped a notch or two. He cared. But how much?

"How much?" I asked.

"What?" he replied, frowning. "How much what?"

I licked my lips. "How much do you care?"

"Fucking hell!" he exclaimed. "Can't you tell?" He pushed up against me, plastering his front to my front, before he pressed his lips to mine. My back complained about the counter digging into my spine but I ignored it and sucked Theo's tongue into my mouth.

"I'm leaving now," Chris shouted. "Call me, whenever." I heard the front door slam before I had a chance to reply.

~~~~

I pulled my mouth away from him. "I'm gonna come," I warned. He hummed and that was the end of me. I succumbed with a groan.

As soon as I was able, I took him in my mouth again. We were doing the old 'soixante neuf' which, as far as I could recall, we hadn't done before. There was a condom and a tube of lube on the bed somewhere, because we had been planning to do something else before Theo had switched positions. I wrapped one hand around the base of his dick and moved it in time with my mouth, marvelling at how silky soft his skin felt under my fingers. Then I pulled back a little so I only had his head in my mouth while I continued to slide my fingers up and down. Theo grunted as I sucked him then pressed my tongue against his slit.

"Fuck! Coming, coming," he gasped. I kept my hand moving while he spurted. But it was too much for me to swallow so I had to pull back.

We lay, unmoving, for a while and then I scooted up the bed a little. Theo turned around and joined me, placing his head on the pillow next to mine. I smiled at him and he leaned into me and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around him and we cuddled. Soon, I was dozing.

~~~~

"Do you want to go out tonight?" Theo asked. I shook my head.

"Not really," I told him. "I haven't recovered from last night."

"Me neither," he said. "I think I went in every bar and club on Queen Street last night, looking for you."

I smirked. For a good part of the night, I hadn't been anywhere near Queen Street. Although, I _had_ found myself back there at one point. My smirk vanished.

"What time was this?" I asked, wondering if he'd visited _The Pink Lady_ and if so, when.

"I gave up looking at around four, I think," he replied. I tried to calculate in my head. I decided I had been with Craig somewhere around five, maybe. My secret was safe. But maybe I should mention that near-miss at some point. Just in case. I would hate for Theo to find out from someone else.

# Chapter 28

For what remained of Friday, we didn't leave my apartment. Saturday, we went as far as the local supermarket because my fridge was beginning to look a little empty, and then we had lunch in one of the city centre pubs before returning to my apartment. At no point did I ask Theo when he was leaving and at no point did he suggest he should leave. So I presumed he had taken some time off from _Sasha's_ and I was secretly rather pleased about that.

Sunday, after some very leisurely sex, a long shower and a late breakfast that was really lunch, Theo finally mentioned that he thought he should be heading back to the village where he lived. Just like the previous week, I didn't really want him to go, but I didn't voice that thought. Instead, I said goodbye to him at my door and I watched him until he stepped into the elevator. Looking around my apartment after he had gone, I felt lost. I didn't know what to do with myself. The place felt empty and miserable. Like me. And I didn't like that feeling one bit. More to the point, I didn't like the thought that I had so easily become dependent on one particular person being around and how much it affected me when he wasn't.

So I called Chris. He suggested I should head over to his place for a while because, he said, he wasn't planning to do anything except slob around. That suited me just fine. We could be slobs together.

On the way over, I stopped at a coffee shop and bought not only coffee but all kinds of sweet crap that neither of us should probably be eating. The plan was, I assumed, to watch DVDs or play a game or catch up properly. I made my way to his twelfth floor apartment and knocked on the door.

"It's open," I heard Chris shout and so I pushed open the door, let myself in and turned to close the door behind me. As soon as I had done that, I froze, my hand still on the doorknob. The sounds that were coming to my ears were unexpected, to say the least. Sounds of sex, unmistakeably. Grunting and moaning and the slapping of flesh on flesh. I was afraid to turn around.

"What's going on?" I asked as I shut my eyes and cringed. He had invited me over. Surely he didn't have someone in here with him?

"Oh, it's okay," Chris replied. "It's a DVD." The sound stopped and then I heard Chris laughing. Blowing out a breath, I turned around to face the room. My eyes immediately strayed to the television screen.

"Oh, for fuck's sake! You're watching gay porn? And you knew I was coming over." I tore my eyes away and looked at my friend for an answer.

Chris chuckled again. "What's wrong?" he asked. "I thought you would be into this now."

I strode past his couch, heading for the kitchen. I ignored his laughter and his comment and I unpacked the bags I had brought with me and laid out the food and the coffees on his kitchen counter. "I brought coffee," I shouted to him. I didn't have anything else to say. The sounds started up again and I sighed. He had pressed 'Play'. Picking up one of the coffees, I took a few sips, burnt my mouth and swore. "Are you going to continue to watch that?" I asked. "Do you want me to leave?"

"Don't you want to come and watch it with me?" Chris asked from right behind me. I jumped at his unexpected proximity.

"Not particularly," I replied. I turned to face him. He was grinning like an idiot. "What's so funny?"

"You," he chuckled. "I can't believe you're still squeamish about this. You haven't watched any, yet?"

I shook my head. No, I hadn't watched any. I hadn't even watched any straight porn - not for weeks. Over his shoulder, I could see the TV and the images on it even though I wasn't really looking at it. "Can't you turn it off?" I asked. I was embarrassed and I averted my gaze again.

"Why are you so uncomfortable?" Chris asked. He wore a puzzled expression. I didn't have an answer. I didn't know why I was uncomfortable with it. I just was. I picked up his coffee and handed it to him. "You should watch some, you know?" Chris continued. "You might pick up a few tricks to please your boyfriend."

I laughed at that, reluctantly. "Don't be ridiculous," I replied, trying to stop my eyes from travelling to his 42" screen again. "Porn sex is nothing like real sex. It's fantasy."

"Yeah, maybe," Chris acknowledged, before adding, "But it might be your man's fantasy. Have you thought of that? And anyway, you don't have much experience. What are you doing with him? How do you know that what you're doing is good for him? How do you know it's what he wants? Does he tell you what he wants? Do you know enough to surprise him?"

"Jeez, Chris!" I was mortified. I took a step back. I didn't want to talk to him about what I did with Theo. I backed away from him, sipped my coffee again then picked up one of the donuts that I had brought with me. "I'm not talking about this," I said before I stuffed my mouth with the sugary dough. I moved away to look out of his kitchen window.

"Suit yourself," said Chris. I continued to stare through the glass. What was he trying to do? What was his point? The noises from the DVD continued to reach my ears. He wasn't going to turn it off, that was fairly obvious. For around ten seconds, I contemplated leaving. Instead, I pulled out a chair from under his kitchen table and took a seat. Chris had gone back to his seat on the couch.

Was I being silly? Why the hell was I squeamish about this? I ate my donut in silence, occasionally glancing over to where Chris sat, his face pointed towards the television. Eventually, I stood and made my way over to join him. He barely spared me a glance as I sat on the couch next to him.

"Does this stuff turn you on?" I ventured, just for something to say. It was probably a pretty stupid question. I finally looked at the television screen. The position they were in looked painful. Well, for one of them, anyway. Chris turned and regarded me, an amused expression on his features.

"Of course it does," he replied.

_Of course it does_. That really was a stupid question, Niko. The thought of sitting next to my friend while he was sporting a boner made me want to shudder. I stood, went to the kitchen area and picked up another donut. I wasn't comfortable. At all. Weird, maybe. And I couldn't explain why, even to myself. But once I had armed myself with more sugar, I put on a brave face and moved back to the couch.

~~~~

It didn't do a lot for me, except maybe educate me a little. There were a few things I saw that I hadn't experienced myself, or even thought of trying. But, to be honest, I didn't watch straight porn very often either. I preferred to do the deed rather than watch someone else doing it.

Chris started to feel sorry for me after a while. He stopped the porn DVD forty minutes later - I had no idea how much more was left to see - and suggested we could watch season five of _The Walking Dead_ instead. I readily agreed.

Part way through episode four, we paused and ordered a Chinese takeout and then I laughed when Chris began to complain that he couldn't possibly eat his Sichuan Beef and, at the same time, watch the walkers being chopped into little pieces. I had no sympathy. He had made me watch porn with him so I insisted we continue to watch blood and gore while we ate.

After we had caught up with all the _TWD_ episodes he had recorded, I suggested I should head home. It was getting late and I had work tomorrow. Just before I left, we made arrangements to go for a drink next Thursday evening and then I wished Chris a good night and left his apartment.

When I arrived home, I grabbed a beer from my fridge before turning on my computer. I opened the browser and logged into a porn site I had used in the past. I wanted to see if there was any gay porn on there. I had never noticed it before but I had never looked for it before. There was plenty. I decided to watch a little of it because, admittedly, I was now curious.

~~~~

Thursday evening arrived quickly. I had no idea where the week disappeared to but I didn't complain. I had worked hard on a new project and I was ready for a break. I always counted myself lucky that I was allowed to work flexible hours at _Futur3 Gam3s_ , which meant that if I managed to put in the required hours Monday to Thursday, Fridays were usually my own. Which meant a long weekend almost every weekend. This week was no exception.

I had talked to Theo three times during the week, but I hadn't spoken to Chris since Sunday. As I made my way home I sent a message to Chris, asking where we should meet. Once I got back to my apartment, I stripped off, shaved, showered and generally got myself ready for an evening out. By the time I had made myself look presentable, Chris hadn't replied to my message. So I sent another and waited for a response. When I hadn't heard a thing by the time I was ready to head out, I called his number. He didn't answer the call. A little annoyed, I threw on my jacket and headed out anyway. I debated whether to go to his place and then decided against it. It occurred to me that Chris might have become caught at work for some reason. If that was the case, he wouldn't be able to answer his phone. Stuck for ideas, I found myself wandering over to Queen Street.

_Sasha's_ called to me for some reason. I pulled out my phone and checked the time as I held open the door for a couple who were just leaving as I arrived. The place was busy. I shoved my phone back in my jacket and tried to make my way through the crowd towards the counter, careful not to jostle anyone and risk spilling their drinks. Spotting a small gap at the counter, I squeezed in, waiting my turn to be served.

I jumped when I felt a hand at the small of my back which then started to travel in a southerly direction. Feeling indignant, I turned my head, ready to say something about inappropriate behaviour and I received a kiss on my cheek. It was Theo.

"What are you doing here?" he asked as I turned fully towards him and grinned.

"Would you believe I came to see you?" I replied. That hadn't been my intention when I had left my apartment, but as soon as I'd seen the sign for _Sasha's_ I had begun to hope that he would be around, even if he was working. "Aren't you working tonight?" I added.

Theo shook his head. "Not any longer," he told me. "I've just finished. I was planning to take a stroll along the street and see how busy the other bars are." His hands had gripped my hips by this time and I found myself leaning into him. "Wanna come with me?"

"Sure," I nodded.

Theo smiled. "Okay, let me grab my coat and I'll be back in a sec." His head moved towards mine and I met him halfway for a kiss. As he pulled back, he winked at me then he turned and disappeared into the crowd. I decided to make my way back over to the exit and meet him there.

Halfway across the room, I was stopped by someone grabbing my hand. I half turned, expecting it to be Theo again. But it wasn't.

"Hey, it's Nick, isn't it?" The guy smirked at me and my mouth fell open as I recognised him. "I haven't seen you in here before," he continued. My body heated up and I felt myself blushing. I tried to subtly disentangle my hand from his. It was Craig; the man I had met in _The Pink Lady_ the night I had stormed out of _G-A-Y_. One week ago. I had forgotten all about it.

"Um..." I didn't know what to say. But I knew I had to get away from him before Theo returned. "I'm s-sorry, I have to leave," I managed. He still had his fingers wrapped around mine though.

"What's the hurry?" Craig asked. "I saw you come in. You've only just arrived."

"Yeah, but--"

"Who's this?" Theo asked from behind me. _Oh fuck!_ My eyes slid closed in defeat.

# Chapter 29

"Who are you?" Craig asked just as I felt a warm hand land on my shoulder. I needed to say something but I didn't have a clue what. My mind was whirring, trying to work out the right words to use.

Theo chuckled behind me. "Who am I?" he said. "I'm his boyfriend. Do you wanna let go of his hand now?"

Craig said something in reply but I didn't hear it. Theo had said 'boyfriend' and my mind got stuck on that one word. It sounded funny coming out of his mouth but I liked it. My insides started to tingle and I forgot that I was supposed to be coming up with an explanation for Craig. I opened my eyes and turned towards Theo, unable to keep the smile off my face.

Theo glanced at me then looked back at Craig and raised his eyebrows. Craig released my fingers. "Come on, let's go," Theo murmured and he steered me towards the door. Outside, he took my hand and we started walking along the street. I was still a little shaky. "Who was that?" he asked.

"You said 'boyfriend' just then," I replied, ignoring his question.

"I know," said Theo. "Something wrong with that?"

"No." I shook my head, smiling to myself. That meant something. It meant this wasn't just some sex-fuelled fling. I know he had already said he cared but this was reinforcement. It felt good.

"Who was he, Niko?"

Oh yeah, _Craig_. I stopped smiling. "Shit, I'm sorry." I stopped walking too. Theo halted and turned back to face me. I swallowed. "I need to tell you something," I said, stalling for time because I still didn't know how to explain. He was frowning at me now.

"You fucked him?"

"What? No!" I shook my head but Theo dropped my hand anyway. "No," I said again. "I hardly know him. In fact I _don't_ know him. I just met him once." The words started tumbling out of my mouth. "That night when I saw you with whatshisname in _G-A-Y_ ... erm... Lucas, wasn't it?" Theo nodded, still frowning. "Well..." I took a breath. "I met him in _The Pink Lady_ and to be honest I had forgotten all about him."

Theo took a small step forward, closing the distance between us. "It looks like he didn't forget you," he said. "What did you do?"

I sighed and looked away. "I kissed him."

"Why?"

Yeah, _why Niko?_ Why _had_ I kissed Craig? I thought back to that night and how I had felt at the time. It had been an overwhelming feeling of rejection mixed with anger, confusion and a little desperation. I felt myself heating up at the memory. "Because I was angry with you and I was angry at myself for falling for you. And I was confused about whether I even _liked_ men and I was upset!" My voice was rising. "And I thought this was over," I gestured between us with my hand. "Before it had really started and I didn't want that and--"

"Shut up, Niko," he whispered. He pushed me back against the wall of a bar behind me, before pressing his whole body against mine and kissing me. Surprise and excitement took over and I brought my arms up and wrapped them around Theo's neck as I allowed his tongue to invade my mouth.

"Get a room, you two," I heard someone say as they passed by and Theo broke the kiss and laughed.

~~~~

We were in bar number four when Theo suggested we should finish the evening by going to a nightclub. I agreed, but only if we went somewhere other than _G-A-Y_. Frankly, I didn't want to be reminded of last week again. We had already talked through what had happened and why it had happened - at some length - and we had agreed that we should both forget about that night and about Craig and Lucas. It was history.

I had felt myself blushing furiously when Theo pointed out to me that I had used the words 'falling for you' at one point. I hadn't realised I'd said that. I hadn't intended to say it, so early in our relationship, but it was done now. I couldn't take it back.

It was true anyway.

Shortly after that, Theo had said he was a little crazy about me. I had grinned stupidly at him.

As Theo drained his glass, ready to move to the club, I pulled out my phone to check the time. That was when I realised my battery had died. Not that I really had any need for my phone, but it would have been nice to find out whether Chris had replied to any of my messages. It was too late to be thinking of meeting up with Chris, but I was a little curious as to why our evening out hadn't happened the way it was planned. Maybe he'd had a better offer. I certainly hoped so.

The club Theo took me to was called _Attitude_. Inside, it was hot and already packed to the rafters, even though it wasn't yet midnight. There was a drag act on stage, I noted, as we made our way to one of the bars to grab a drink.

"Sophia's almost finished," Theo said at my ear. "Then the DJ will start."

"Who's Sophia?" I asked, puzzled.

Theo pointed at the stage. "The resident Diva. That's Sophia. She sings every Thursday night." Just as he said that, a round of applause began and Sophia blew kisses to the crowd before making her way down some steps at one end of the stage. We had missed her act. Secretly, I was glad. Theo passed a glass to me and we headed further into the club.

~~~~

The DJ was excellent. He had all the latest tunes and he was playing exactly the sort of music I loved, and I was finding it difficult to stand still at times. Eventually, it appeared that Theo got sick of my almost-dancing and he took my glass away from me and pulled me onto the dance floor. I didn't even protest. Maybe I was a little drunk. Or maybe I was still feeling a little euphoric from our earlier conversations. Whatever, I found myself on the dance floor with my 'boyfriend'. That wasn't going to get old anytime soon, I realised with a chuckle. It was amazing how my whole life and outlook had begun to change in a few short weeks.

We danced energetically to several songs before Theo pulled me closer and draped his arms over my shoulders, grinning at me. I reciprocated by putting my hands on his hips. He then edged closer and my breath caught when I realised he was hard. That brought up an almost immediate response from my own body and I felt my face flush. Theo continued to grin, a gleam in his eye, as he rubbed himself against me and I bit my lip as I looked back at him and tried to rein in my reaction. What was he trying to do to me?

He leaned close to my ear. "Turn around," he said. I pulled back and shook my head at him. If I turned around now, people would be able to see my predicament. "Turn around," he mouthed again. Before I could even think about reconsidering my position, Theo had moved behind me and pulled me back against him, where he proceeded to grind himself against me. I closed my eyes; partly due to embarrassment but mainly due to the effect he was having on me.

"I wanna fuck you," I heard him say next to my ear. His breath tickled the side of my neck. My heart skipped a beat at his words. _Jeez!_ "So much," he continued. "I wanna make you scream."

# Chapter 30

Well, _that_ wasn't quite how I had expected it to be. And I didn't expect to be feeling the way I was feeling, either. I turned my head, noting that Theo was still soundly asleep and I breathed a silent sigh of relief. Carefully, I snuck out of his bed, gathered my clothes up from where they were scattered across the floor and I left the bedroom, heading for the bathroom so as not to wake him. I emptied my bladder and brushed my teeth, before dressing quickly and making my way down the stairs to his kitchen where I pulled a carton of juice from the fridge and took it to the living room with me, along with a glass.

I stood at the window and stared out into the night. The first tendrils of light were beginning to creep across the sky and I could see that it was going to be a nice day. Not that I had any firm plans for today, so it didn't really matter to me anyway. Remembering the juice in my hand, I poured some into the glass and sipped at it while my mind tried to process everything.

I hadn't slept, which didn't help my mood or my thought processes. I had this crazy notion that, last night, I had given something of myself that I shouldn't have. Because, now, I felt totally vulnerable. I felt stripped bare. It was a sensation I didn't like. What I had given last night, I could never get back. And I didn't even know if Theo had really appreciated it, or understood what it had meant to me to do that. He had fallen asleep almost immediately afterwards and he hadn't woken once.

I was in love with Theo; I knew that. I had fallen for him pretty quickly and I wanted to be with him. But I was fairly sure he didn't feel the same way I did. And so I was feeling pretty bad about it. I had wanted last night to mean something more. I'm not sure what I had been hoping for, but - stupid as it sounded even to my own mind - I think I'd wanted him to say he loved me. And he hadn't. He had just fallen asleep.

I took the juice back to his kitchen and put it back in his fridge and I rinsed out the glass. I needed to leave. I didn't want to be here when he woke up. I couldn't face him. It would be awkward and embarrassing. Checking that I had all my belongings, I pulled on my jacket then I let myself out of Theo's house, shutting the door behind me as quietly as I could.

~~~~

Once I was back inside my own apartment, having walked for almost twenty minutes before finding a bus stop where I could catch a bus back to the city, I set my phone to recharge. Then I stripped out of my clothes and jumped into the shower. I scrubbed myself clean before standing still and allowing the hot water to massage the muscles in my shoulders and neck. I felt so tense that I was beginning to get a headache.

I suddenly remembered something that Theo had said last night at the club and I laughed out loud. He had said that he'd wanted to make me scream. Well, he hadn't succeeded. I hadn't screamed and I hadn't climaxed. Not with him inside me, anyway. Was there something wrong with me? Theo always seemed to enjoy it when I fucked him. Unless he was faking it somehow, which was possible I guess, although I'm not sure how. So maybe it was me. Maybe I was placing too much emphasis on it. Maybe I had built it up in my mind, expecting it to be something more than it was ever going to be. I chuckled to myself again. I had probably watched too much of that gay porn. Sex wasn't always perfect, I knew that.

The trouble was, now that he'd done it, Theo would probably want to do it again. And I didn't know how I felt about that.

~~~~

I had cleaned my apartment and washed all my dirty clothes before remembering that I hadn't heard from Chris. I checked my phone. No responses to my messages from yesterday. I called his number. It rang and rang but he didn't answer. Finally, it went to voicemail and I left a message, asking him to call me to let me know that everything was okay. It wasn't like Chris to ignore messages and not answer his phone. I was beginning to wonder if something had happened.

I prepared some food and ate it, despite not being particularly hungry, before deciding that I needed to get out of the apartment. So I took off for a wander around the city centre, wishing that it wasn't Friday. Of course, I could have gone into work if I'd really wanted to but I wasn't in the mood for work. That was the problem. I wasn't in the mood for anything in particular, but I didn't know what to do with my free time. I wandered around the city centre shops and I even went into a couple of them, although I bought nothing. I then made my way to the park and strolled along leafy walkways for a while because it was such a beautiful day. That was when I decided on a plan of sorts. Not a very imaginative plan, I admit, but it was something. I left the park and headed for Queen Street.

As I reached the entrance to the now familiar street, I pulled out my phone, noticed the time and was startled to realise it was much later than I had imagined. I scrolled through my contacts, found the entry for Glenn and I dialled his number. He probably wouldn't remember who I was, but I didn't have a problem with trying to jog his memory. I needed to talk to someone and - with no Chris to inflict my woes on - he was the first person I'd thought of.

Glenn answered my call with a cheery greeting that suggested he did remember me. "Hi, Nick," he said. "Funny but I was only thinking about you this morning."

"You were?" I was surprised. "Well that's... good, I guess. How are you?"

Glenn laughed down the line. "I'm very well. It's Friday evening and I have a drink in my hand so everything is looking great from where I'm sitting."

"Where are you sitting?" I asked.

"Why?" he responded. "Care to join me?"

I grinned. This was easier than it had played out in my head. "I would, if you don't mind the company," I replied. "I don't suppose you're anywhere near Queen Street, are you?"

"Ah! You know me so well already," Glenn chuckled. " _The Pink Lady_. My usual haunt. Do you want me to grab you a drink? How far away are you?"

"I'm almost there." I had started walking as soon as Glenn had answered my call and I could see the bar not far ahead of me. "I'll buy the drinks. What would you like?"

"Oh, another vodka and tonic would be very welcome, thanks," he replied.

"I'll see you in a moment," I told him and I ended the call just as I reached the bar's entrance. As I pushed open the door I realised that the place wasn't anywhere near as busy as it had been the previous couple of times I'd been here, which was a good thing because I was looking forward to taking a seat after all my aimless walking around.

I bought Glenn's vodka and a gin and tonic for myself and I soon spied the man I was looking for, sitting at a table near the rear of the bar. I made my way over to him. He stood as I reached the table, grinning brightly at me.

"It's really nice to see you again," he said and he leaned forward and kissed my cheek. I quickly set the glasses down on the table, before they slipped out of my grasp.

I cleared my throat. "Are you with someone?" I asked. "Am I interrupting anything?"

"Oh, no," Glenn replied, taking his seat again. "I'm just having a quiet drink by myself. I'm not expecting anyone. Or, I wasn't, until you called. I'm glad you did, by the way. I was wondering how you were doing."

I pulled out a chair and sat, taking a sip of my drink before answering. The last time Glenn and I had talked, I had told him all kinds of stuff that I wouldn't normally have told a stranger. It hadn't taken me long to realise that Glenn was the kind of guy who was really easy to talk to, and that he had also given me good advice that night. I decided there would be no harm in opening up to him again.

"Well," I began. "There have been a few developments since we last talked."

"Oh, you haven't split up, have you?" Glenn frowned at me. "You seemed so enamoured last time we met."

I chuckled and shook my head at the same time. "Not quite," I said. "Things have moved on a little. Especially last night." I took another sip of my drink.

"Why? What happened last night?" he asked as he reached for his own glass. He brought it to his lips but paused and stared at me for a second before setting the glass down again. "What's up?"

I licked my lips. "Do you remember I told you that Theo was the first guy I'd been with?" Glenn nodded. "Last night..." I wasn't sure how to describe it. I didn't want to use the terms that Chris had used. They sounded so crass to me. "We... we switched things around for the first time."

Understanding dawned on Glenn's face and I silently breathed out in relief. I didn't need to spell it out for him. He began to smile. "You've come over to the dark side," he said. I chuckled and felt my cheeks heating up. I would probably never see _'Star Wars'_ in the same light again after a comment like that. "So, I take it that means you two are getting pretty serious," he added. "That's great."

I stopped chuckling. "The thing is," I started. "I didn't enjoy it." I felt myself frowning. "Not really. And I'm wondering what that means. I should have enjoyed it, shouldn't I?" _It was_ _Theo_ , I had been telling myself all day. I should have enjoyed it.

Glenn shook his head. "It depends. First times are rarely the greatest experience anyway. And some people just don't like it. You might be one of them."

"But what if... I mean, I _wanted_ to like it. What happens when Theo suggests..." I stopped talking. Suddenly it didn't seem such a great idea to be chatting about this with Glenn. But it had been on my mind all day, and I hadn't slept last night because I had been going over and over the experience in my head. Sometimes I wished my brain would just give me a break.

"Hey," Glenn interrupted my thoughts. He had what I took to be a concerned expression on his face. "First of all, don't get wound up over this. It could be because it was your first time. It might be much better next time. It could be that you're not cut out to bottom. Some people aren't." I mentally cringed at that word as Glenn continued to speak. "You should talk to your boyfriend about it. Maybe he could do something different next time. That is, if you want there to be a next time." He paused and grinned at me. "And if you _do_ want there to be a next time, there are things you can do for yourself."

He had my attention now. "Like what?" I asked.

Glenn threw back his head and laughed.

~~~~

I hadn't stayed out late. Lack of sleep had caught up with me pretty quickly, and after a couple more drinks with Glenn I had made my excuses and left. We had talked plenty anyway. I had gone home and done a little online shopping, having made up my mind to follow one of Glenn's suggestions. Then I had taken a quick shower before sliding into bed and falling asleep almost immediately.

The ringing of the phone brought me out of my slumber with a start. I reached for it and slid my finger across the screen before putting it to my ear. "Hello?"

"What's going on with you?" Theo asked. "You sneak out. You don't reply to my messages. I hear nothing from you all day. What did I do?"

I sighed and closed my eyes, feeling guilty. I hadn't checked for any messages. "Nothing," I replied. "It's fine. Everything's fine. I just couldn't sleep last night. I decided to leave rather than disturb _your_ sleep, that's all." Okay, it wasn't exactly the truth but it was better than telling him why I _had_ left. I couldn't have that conversation with him right now.

"You're sure?" Theo asked. "That's all? I haven't upset you or anything?"

"No, no," I assured him, shaking my head. "Of course not. I'm sorry for making you think that." I stifled a yawn with my hand. I was exhausted.

"Where are you?" asked Theo. "I'd like to see you."

"What time is it?" I asked, lifting my head to peer at the clock. "It's almost midnight, Theo. I'm in bed and I'm really tired." I tried not to yawn again. "Sorry," I added. "Can we meet up tomorrow?"

I heard Theo sigh. "Sure, yeah that's fine," he said. He didn't sound too happy. "Tomorrow afternoon, okay?"

I nodded and remembered he couldn't see. "Yes, that'd be great. Tomorrow's good." It very nearly _was_ tomorrow already.

"Alright," said Theo, sounding as weary as I felt. "I'll meet you outside _Sasha's_ and we can go somewhere else. How does one o'clock sound?"

"Yep," I responded. "Sounds good." I couldn't hold back the yawn this time. "I'm sorry, Theo. I'm almost too tired to think. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, bye," he said in reply and then he hung up. I sighed heavily before dropping the phone onto my nightstand. I'd managed to piss him off - without telling him the one thing that had been on my mind all day and _that_ was something almost _guaranteed_ to piss him off.

~~~~

My phone was ringing again! Blindly, I reached out and managed to put my hand on it. Was I ever going to get any sleep tonight? Somewhat groggily, I pulled myself up a little and swiped the screen. "Hello?" I asked, not having a clue how much time had passed since Theo had called earlier. My eyes slid closed again.

"Is that Mr Kats-- Er, excuse me." A throat cleared. "Mr Katsaros? Have I pronounced that properly?"

I sighed. It wasn't _that_ difficult to pronounce my name. "Yes, this is Nick Katsaros. Who am I talking to, please? And what time is it? It feels like the middle of the night."

"Ah, yes. Sorry, Sir. I am sorry if I woke you. This is Detective Pearson from the Carver Road Police Station. I'm afraid I need your help with something."

I was immediately awake. Why were the police calling me? I sat up and looked at the clock. It was 3:15am. "What's wrong? Is it something to do with my family? What's going on? Has there been an accident?" All kinds of worrying thoughts were now running through my head.

"Mr Katsaros, I'm calling you about Mr Christopher David Palmer."

I threw back the covers and leapt out of bed. "Why? What's happened?" I started to gather up some clothes with one hand, fumbling in the dark but preparing to go wherever this detective said he needed me to go. "Is he alright? Where is he? What's going on? Has he been arrested?"

"I would like you to make your way to St Mary's Hospital please," the detective said. I had already forgotten his name. "I will meet you there," he continued. "Go to the fifth floor, the intensive care unit. I need to ask you some questions and the hospital needs you to help contact next of kin as they will have to sign some consent forms. You're listed in Mr Palmer's phone as his emergency contact. Once again, I'm sorry if I woke you."

"No, it's fine," I replied quickly. "I'm on my way."

Shit! What the hell had happened?

# Chapter 31

I crashed through the hospital doors and ignored all the staring and the disapproving looks on faces as I ran through the foyer, looking for stairs or elevators to take me to the intensive care unit. I was fired up with adrenaline, which was a very good thing because I found the stairs first and started taking them two and three at a time. At the fifth floor, I burst through the door and paused to catch my breath.

A guy in a suit immediately headed in my direction and I guessed he was detective whatshisname. Unless the doctors wore suits in this place. Maybe he was a consultant. Whatever, I didn't move from my spot until he reached me.

"Mr Katsaros?" He flashed a badge at me so I knew my first thought was correct. "Detective Pearson," he continued. "I'm the one who called you earlier."

"Yeah, thanks," I replied. "How's Chris? What's happened? Can I see him?" I was still a little out of breath.

Detective Pearson cleared his throat and glanced behind him before turning back to me. He shook his head. "Not right now, I'm afraid. But I need to ask you some questions." He looked over his shoulder again. "Let's find a seat and talk." He turned away, leading me to a waiting room of sorts. I guessed it was a waiting room, judging by the heaps of chairs, but there was also a kitchen in there and a few tables. Maybe it was some kind of staff room for the nurses. "I was just going to make myself a coffee," Pearson said. "Would you like one?"

I nodded. "Please." I followed him to the kitchen counter and watched as he filled up a kettle with water and then pulled a jar of instant coffee out of a cupboard, along with two mugs.

"So, how long have you known Christopher?" he asked as he spooned coffee into the mugs. "Sugar and milk?"

"No, just black, thanks," I told him, wondering why his first question was concerning the length of time I'd known Chris. Surely there were more important things to ask me. And I had plenty of questions to ask him. Like, what the heck had happened and how was my friend? I suddenly noticed that the detective was staring intently at me and I realised I hadn't answered his question. _Okay_ , I thought, _we'll do it his way_. "We met when we were eighteen, at college," I supplied. "Almost ten years. In fact it _is_ ten years now. He's one of my closest friends."

"Ah, so that's why you're his emergency contact," Pearson stated.

"I guess so," I replied. I hadn't known that I was. I had assumed that it would be Stephen. Oh, but of course, Chris must have changed it when they split.

"Tell me about his family," continued Pearson. "We haven't been able to track anyone down or get in touch. And his phone wasn't much use."

"It won't be," I replied as I watched the detective pour hot water into the two mugs. "He doesn't have any family. His parents were killed in a car crash seven years ago." I remembered that time as if it was yesterday. Chris had been understandably devastated. It had been a very hard time for him. I had tried to help him as much as I could, but it was months and months before I'd seen him even smile again. My parents were very fond of Chris, though. It was about that time that he had become a part of our family. It was also soon after then that he'd started seeing Stephen. I wondered how Stephen would react if he knew Chris was in hospital. Maybe I should give my cousin a call when I got a chance.

"Any brothers and sisters?" asked the detective. "Wife? Girlfriend?" He passed a mug of not very pleasant smelling coffee to me.

"No on all counts," I shook my head.

"Okay." Pearson looked thoughtful for a moment. Then he took a sip of his coffee and scrunched up his face. "Ugh, that's awful." He reached for the sugar and added some to his drink. I peered down into my mug, not wanting to taste it. "So, no next of kin that you know of?" the detective asked.

I thought for a moment. No, I couldn't remember any other relatives. "There might be some distant family," I ventured. "But if there are other family members, I don't know them. Why? What were these consent forms you mentioned? What does he need?" I was impatient to find out how Chris was, what was wrong, how I could help. But this detective hadn't told me anything yet.

"Ah, yes, there's no need to worry about that now. The urgency has subsided a little. He's no longer in the kind of danger he was when I telephoned you earlier."

"Oh, thank goodness for that!" I exclaimed. I slumped against the kitchen counter in relief. Chris wasn't in immediate danger. "But can you tell me what's wrong with him? What happened?"

Pearson seemed to appraise me a little before gesturing at a table. "Let's sit down. I'll tell you what I can." _Finally!_ I took a seat and tried not to get impatient while the man added another spoonful of sugar to his coffee before joining me at the table. "Your friend was attacked. From what we can tell, it happened Thursday afternoon or maybe early Thursday evening. I can't tell you the details but I do need to know if you have any idea what his plans were on Thursday. Was he meeting someone? Did he have something arranged that you know of? Anything that you can tell me might help."

I only heard part of what the detective said after the word 'attacked'. Who would have attacked Chris? And why? How badly was he hurt? I closed my eyes and rubbed them with my fingers. They were stinging, probably because I hadn't had enough sleep. And I knew the detective wasn't going to tell me what I wanted to hear, so I had to try to concentrate on answering his questions instead. Anything I knew might be able to help Chris. I tried to think.

Eventually, I sat back in my seat and took a few gulps of the coffee. It was pretty horrendous but it didn't matter. "Chris and I were supposed to be meeting up Thursday evening after work. We were going out for a drink." I then went on to explain how I had messaged him and called him but received no responses. I also explained that I had gone out Thursday night with someone else - I didn't mention Theo by name - and that I had forgotten about Chris until Friday. I felt so bad about that. I hadn't been too concerned about the fact he hadn't responded or that I hadn't been able to get in touch with him. And all that time he had been hurt. Really hurt, by the sound of things. What kind of a friend was I?

~~~~

After answering Pearson's questions as well as I could, he had left me in the waiting room or kitchen or whatever it was, and told me not to move. He'd said he was going to find a doctor that would be able to talk to me. I made some more coffee while I waited. I had every intention of asking this doctor to take me to see Chris. Next of kin or not, I was his friend and I was the closest thing to family that he had, as far as I was concerned. I just needed to make sure this doctor understood that.

Time passed and it felt as if I had been waiting for ages before the doctor finally appeared. He looked exhausted. He introduced himself then made some coffee before sitting down with me. "Your friend is stable at the moment but he's not out of danger yet," he told me. "We need to contact next of kin just in case."

I told him what I'd already told the detective. The doctor frowned and scribbled down some notes on a pad that he pulled out of his white coat. "Can't you tell me what's wrong?" I asked. "Can I see him?"

The doctor sighed and stared at me hard for a moment before saying, "Not really. It's against the rules. Patient confidentiality. And he's in no fit state for visitors."

"But I'm his family," I reiterated. "I'm the nearest thing to family that you're going to find. I don't want him to be alone." I swallowed. "He needs me there." Suddenly, the seriousness of the situation hit me and my throat closed up and my eyes started to sting again. "He's not going to die, is he?"

He didn't answer my question. Instead, he said, "We're doing everything we can. He's being taken care of."

~~~~

Pearson returned and asked me more questions, some of which I couldn't answer, before he disappeared again. The doctor came back and made more coffee and all he would tell me was that Chris was 'stable', whatever that meant. I was becoming angry and frustrated. They weren't telling me anything and yet they had told me not to leave. And they wouldn't let me see Chris. I sat in that kitchen, or paced the halls of the intensive care unit, for what felt like hours.

It was late morning before the doctor came to find me again. "Come with me," he said. I jumped up from my chair and followed him. "You can't go in," he said. "But I'll show you where your friend is." He took me to Chris' room and I stood at the door and stared through the glass. Anger flooded me as I saw the state he was in. He was unconscious, his head was bandaged and his face was bruised and cut. I couldn't see any other injuries because he was covered with a sheet, but there were wires and tubes everywhere, it seemed. I felt my eyes fill with tears. He looked so small and alone. I needed to be in that room with him.

I needed him to know I was here.

"If there's any improvement in the next couple of hours, I'll consider allowing you into the room," the doctor murmured at my side. "It would be good for him to know there's someone here for him. And it looks like you're the only one qualified for that job right now." I turned to look at the doctor and he offered me a small smile.

"What's wrong with him?" I tried again. I didn't expect him to tell me.

The doctor glanced at Chris then looked back at me. "He has a swelling of the brain," he told me. "We have put him into a coma so that his body can start to heal. His other injuries are relatively minor. Broken bones. Cuts and bruises. Nothing that can't be fixed. It's his brain we're a little worried about. We're trying to reduce the swelling. I shouldn't be telling you this because you're not family, but..." He trailed off. I nodded.

"Thank you," I said.

"Go home," the doctor suddenly said to me. "Come back in a couple of hours and we will see about allowing you to sit with him for a while. He could use the company." The doctor smiled again. "Get some sleep or some food. Come back at two." He turned and walked away from me.

~~~~

At two o'clock precisely, I walked through the doors of the intensive care unit. I had gone home, showered and changed my clothes, eaten something - I can't remember what it was - and had a few cups of decent coffee before making my way back to the hospital. There was no sign of the doctor I'd spoken with earlier and there was no sign of the detective either. I made my way to Chris' room and looked in. Nothing had changed. He was still in exactly the same position. He looked just the same as before. I felt useless.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I felt momentarily guilty. I should have turned it off. I looked around as I pulled it from my pocket and I headed for the stairs so that I could check it. I had a message from Theo. _Shit!_ I had forgotten I was supposed to be meeting him outside _Sasha's_ at one o'clock.

Theo: Okay, what the fuck have I done? You're acting weird and you're ignoring me. I don't like the silent treatment. Tell me what's going on or tell me it's over. I'm a big boy. I can take it. Your choice.

I screwed my eyes shut. I couldn't believe he'd said that. _Tell him it's over?_ Just because I'd missed meeting him? And then I remembered how I had snuck out of his house and I could see it from his point of view. I had messed up. I called him.

"Where the fuck are you and what's going on?" he said when he answered.

"I'm sorry," I replied. "I'm at the hospital. I should have let you know but I forgot. I'm sorry."

"What? Which hospital? Are you hurt?"

"No, it's not me," I said quickly. "It's Chris. He's been attacked and he's in a coma. I'm sorry I forgot to let you know but it's all been a little crazy." I took a breath before continuing. "I'll be here for a while, I think."

"Which hospital?" Theo asked again.

I had to stop and think. Where was I? "Oh, St Mary's. The big hospital near the university."

"I know it," he replied. "Okay, I'll see you soon."

"Yeah, sorry," I said. "We'll have to meet up another time. I'm not leaving Chris yet."

"Of course not. Don't worry about it," said Theo. "I understand."

"Okay, thanks. Bye," I said and then I hung up. Making my way back to Chris' room, I remembered my earlier thought about calling Stephen and so I ducked back into the stairwell and brought up his number.

"Hello, Nick," he answered, sounding cautious. "I didn't expect to hear from you anytime soon."

I withheld a sigh. "Never mind that," I responded. "I need to tell you something and you're not going to like it, I'm afraid."

"Oh, great," replied Stephen. "Go on, then. I'm listening."

I cleared my throat. "It's Chris," I began. "He's in hospital. He's been beaten up and he's not doing very well. I thought you should know." There was silence on the line. "Stephen, did you hear me?"

"Yes. Where is he?"

"St Mary's Hospital, near the university. The intensive care unit on the fifth floor."

"How bad is it?" Stephen asked.

"I'm sorry," I said. "They're not telling me much. He's in a coma. I just thought you should know."

"I'll be right there," Stephen said. I thought I heard his voice crack.

"I'll be here too," I replied and then I heard the line go dead.

# Chapter 32

Stephen had been crying. I could tell as soon as I set eyes on him. When he spied me he came rushing over, babbling, "Where is he? Let me see him. I need to see him."

I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him into a hug. "Calm down," I said quietly. "He's not going anywhere right now." Stephen's arms wrapped around me and he squeezed tight. I squeezed back.

Eventually, I pulled away from him. "Let's go sit down," I said. "I can tell you what I know and then I'll take you to his room and see if I can find the doctor." Stephen nodded and so I steered him towards the waiting room slash kitchen. There were two nurses in there and they looked up as we entered and then went back to their conversation. I headed for the kettle. The coffee wasn't great but it would give me something to do while I talked to my cousin. Stephen leaned up against the counter and scrubbed his hands over his face. I sighed. "Hey, let me tell you what I know," I said.

So I did. We sipped our drinks while I explained about Chris' injuries and about the questions from the detective. I told him everything I knew and also what the doctor had said about possibly being allowed into Chris' room later.

"You need to tell the doctor that I'm family," Stephen said. "They have to let me in too." I nodded. I would certainly try.

I took Stephen to see Chris. Stephen's hand flew to his mouth as soon as he looked through the window in the door. "Oh my God," he whispered and his eyes filled with tears again. I put my arm around his shoulders and I gazed through the glass at my friend. I was getting used to how he looked but it must have been a shock for Stephen. The cuts and bruises on his face were ugly.

"Will you be alright here while I look for the doctor?" I asked gently. Stephen nodded but didn't take his eyes off Chris. "Okay," I said and I squeezed his shoulder before stepping away. I wasn't sure where the doctor I'd spoken to was, or even if he was on duty now, but I made my way to the nurses' station to ask.

Five minutes later, the doctor in question joined us at Chris' door. "Another friend?" he inquired as he looked at Stephen. "That's good."

"This is Stephen, my cousin," I told the doctor.

"I'm his boyfriend," Stephen chimed in. The doctor looked puzzled for a moment.

"Stephen is Chris' boyfriend," I clarified.

"Oh?" The doctor looked at me. "You didn't mention a boyfriend."

"It slipped my mind," I replied quickly. "I was going to mention him but it's been a little chaotic, don't you think?" I wasn't going to start trying to explain how they had split up and all that. It was sufficient that Stephen was here now, as far as I was concerned. It was evident to me that Stephen still cared a great deal for Chris; probably still loved him. Chris could use all the love he could get.

"Well, the same rules apply, I'm afraid," the doctor stated. "If you're not next of kin, I really shouldn't allow--"

"Oh, come on, doctor!" I said, my voice rising a little. "You said earlier you would probably let me into the room. That has to apply to Stephen too!"

The doctor sighed heavily. "You two are going to get me fired," he said, shaking his head. I grinned and reached for Stephen's hand, giving it a quick squeeze.

~~~~

After he had allowed us into the room, the doctor had opened up a little more. As I watched Stephen sit by the bed and stare at Chris, his hands twitching in his lap as he evidently tried to stop himself from reaching out and touching my friend, I listened to the doctor explain a little more about how Chris had been found and how they were treating him. He told me things the detective hadn't mentioned.

Chris had been found in the early hours of Friday morning, beaten, unconscious and bleeding, in a wooded area known locally as 'The Glen' which sounded very poetic for an area that didn't look particularly poetic. He had been stripped of his jacket and his belongings. The doctor told me that the police had later found his jacket, his wallet and phone still inside it, several hundred yards away. Nothing had been stolen and the police were puzzled by that, the doctor confided. They had assumed at first that it was a mugging, with robbery as the motive. But when Chris' belongings had turned up intact, a few hours after Chris himself had been found, the police had decided that robbery was not the motive, and they had since been trying to build a picture of Chris' whereabouts for the past few days and weeks.

"Now that I know he's gay," the doctor whispered as he stood beside me, "I think that puts a different light on the incident." I turned to stare at him. "The police will need to know this."

"What are you saying?" I asked quietly. "That Chris was attacked because he is gay?"

"Well, I can't say that," the doctor replied, shaking his head. "I have no idea exactly what happened or why. But it's a possibility and the police need to look into it."

Suddenly, I felt very angry and indignant. Probably not the most rational of reactions, but I blame the tiredness and the stress of the situation. "I'm gay too, you know," I hissed at the doctor. "So is Stephen, obviously." Alright, maybe I wasn't gay but that wasn't the point. I felt the need to defend Chris against whatever this doctor was thinking. I felt the need to defend myself. I looked over at Chris. He hadn't moved a muscle. He looked so fragile and I felt tears pricking my eyes. I turned away and left the room.

~~~~

I was sitting in a chair in the corridor, staring into space, thinking about stuff. I was sick of the sight of that waiting room which is why I'd chosen a chair in the corridor, but I didn't want to leave yet. Stephen was still in the room with Chris. Nothing had changed since I had last checked with the doctor and with the intensive care nurse who had been assigned to Chris.

I looked up as a shadow fell over me. Theo stood there, smiling slightly, one side of his mouth slightly higher than the other in that crooked way of his. "You look tired," he said.

I stood. "What are you doing here?" I asked. I had just been thinking about him, and about how I was going to explain why I had run away yesterday.

"What do you think I'm doing here?" he replied. He pulled me into a hug. I slumped against him, suddenly feeling all the energy leave my body. I had to bite back tears.

~~~~

We were sitting in the stupid waiting room again. I had told Theo everything I knew about how Chris came to be here, including the doctor's latest theory. Theo hummed thoughtfully when he heard that.

"Where did you say they found him?" Theo asked.

"A place known as 'The Glen'," I replied. "That's what they said." I sipped at my fifteenth cup of coffee. It didn't taste so bad anymore.

"The doc's probably right," Theo mused.

I set my cup down. "Why do you say that?"

Theo shrugged and didn't meet my eyes. "It's... I think Chris might have been out cruising."

I allowed that to sink in. I knew what 'cruising' meant but I couldn't picture my friend doing it. I closed my eyes and shook my head. I didn't even want to picture Chris doing that.

"The Glen is a well-known cruising spot," Theo added. Not that I needed his confirmation. I knew what he'd been suggesting. "We should make sure the police know, although they've probably worked it out if that's where he was found. Do you have that detective's number?"

I sighed and nodded. Pulling out my phone, I scrolled to the number I had added this morning and I hit the green button.

~~~~

At around seven pm, the doctor told us all to go home. He reminded us again that Chris' coma was medically induced and that he wasn't going to come out of it until they wanted him to. Stephen didn't want to leave. I didn't really want to, either, but the doctor persuaded us all to go, assuring us that someone would call if there were any changes.

Standing outside the hospital, I was at a loss for something to do. Stephen looked as though he was about to burst into tears again and I realised I couldn't leave him alone. It was Theo's suggestion that we head over to _Sasha's_ for something to eat and drink. Stephen and I both protested that we weren't hungry but Theo insisted. He slung an arm around both of us and we started walking in the direction of Queen Street.

Inside the bar, Theo steered us to a table at the back of the room and then disappeared into the kitchen, I guessed. As I sat, I felt my energy leave me again. I looked across at Stephen. He was staring down at the table, frowning.

"Are you alright?" I asked. Stupid question, I know. Of course he wasn't alright; I could see that. But it was something to say. He looked up at me.

"Why was he out hooking up?" Stephen asked. "Why weren't you looking out for him?"

"What? This is my fault?" I retorted. Why was it _my_ fault?

"You're his _friend_ ," shouted Stephen. "You're supposed to take care of him if I'm not there."

My mouth dropped open. I snapped it shut. "Wait a minute... _You_ walked out on him." I leaned forward. "If you hadn't done that, he wouldn't have been out cruising." Stephen winced at that word.

"I know," he said and then his face crumpled. "What have I done?"

Quickly, I stood and moved around to my cousin. I dragged him up from his chair and enveloped him in my arms. "Hey," I whispered as I squeezed him. "There's nobody to blame for this except the bastards who beat him up. Don't forget that."

# Chapter 33

We picked at our food half-heartedly although it was probably very nice. I didn't really taste much. I was tired and so was Stephen. Theo was trying to play the good host, trying to keep the conversation going, trying to be the positive one. He kept telling us that a medically induced coma was a good thing. He kept saying the doctors knew what they were doing. He was probably right but it didn't help much. I just wanted to know when Chris would wake up. I felt all kinds of guilt for not realising sooner that something was wrong. I knew that Stephen had just been lashing out when he had accused me of not looking out for Chris, but he was right. I _hadn't_ looked out for him. Not enough.

I recalled that time when I had telephoned Chris and he'd obviously had company. I knew it wasn't Stephen. So, Chris had been hooking up for a while. I hadn't noticed - but if I had, that would probably have told me something. Chris wasn't the type. Or, I hadn't thought so. I had been the one doing all the hooking up, almost as long as I'd known Chris. Sure, I'd had girlfriends; relationships that had endured for more than a week or two, but none of them had lasted. I had always felt like I had been searching for something more. Something they hadn't given me. None of my relationships had really satisfied me. None of them had excited me. None of those women had made my heart beat faster just at the thought of them.

Now, I knew why.

~~~~

"Let's go," I suggested. "Back to my place." Theo and Stephen both looked at me. "Stephen, I suggest you stay the night. We can head back to the hospital early tomorrow. Or we can head back there tonight, if they call. What do you think?"

My cousin offered me a half smile and he nodded. "Yeah, thanks." A thoughtful expression crossed his face. "Although... I should probably go home. I have no clothes for tomorrow."

I frowned slightly. "You can borrow some of mine."

Stephen laughed. "You're kidding, right? Have you seen the way you dress? I wouldn't be seen dead in what you wear." I opened my mouth to object but he winked at me. Theo burst out laughing.

"That's it. I'm leaving," I said as I stood, pretending to be offended, although I couldn't keep the smile off my face for long. It was nice to see Stephen regaining his sense of humour. And I needed to regain mine too.

It took us just over ten minutes to reach my apartment. Inside, Theo made his way to the kitchen while I showed Stephen to the spare bedroom straight away because it looked like he was about to collapse. I was glad I'd cleaned the apartment yesterday. The bed was clean, the room smelled pleasant and the main bathroom was clean and tidy and restocked with fresh towels.

As I turned to leave the room, Stephen grabbed my arm. "So... You and him, eh?"

By 'him' I guessed Stephen was referring to Theo. I nodded and shrugged slightly. "Yes, me and him."

Stephen smiled tiredly and nodded at me. "You look good together," he said then he covered a yawn with his hand.

"Go to sleep," I told him. "I'll wake you if anyone calls." I turned and left the room.

In the kitchen, Theo had made coffee. I could smell it before I entered the room. "I can't drink any more coffee," I told him, shaking my head slightly.

"One more cup won't hurt you," he replied. "It's better than that shit you were drinking at the hospital and I'm pretty sure it's not going to keep you awake. Look at you. You're dead on your feet." He reached out and snagged my hand, pulling me towards him. "When was the last time you slept properly?"

"Wednesday," I replied immediately. Wednesday seemed like months ago. Theo reached up and ran his fingers through my hair and my eyes closed of their own accord. I let out a sigh. Then I felt his lips against mine. Just a soft peck. It made me smile.

"I missed you," he whispered. "Forget the coffee. Let's go to bed."

"Yeah," I agreed. We left the kitchen and the coffee and headed for my bedroom. Inside, Theo closed the door behind us then grabbed my hand again, tugging me closer. He started to undress me and I let him. I stood there while he stripped off my clothes and, despite my tiredness, I started to think about sex. I chuckled.

"What's funny?" Theo asked as he gently pushed me backwards towards the bed. "Get into bed."

I did as he suggested. "Nothing's funny," I replied. "Not really." I watched him undress, the light from the window illuminating his body sufficiently to cause a stirring that I didn't know I had the energy for. When Theo crawled into the bed next to me, I turned to face him. "What is it about you?" I asked out loud. I didn't expect him to answer me or even understand what I was asking. I didn't even mean to say it out loud, probably. It was just what had been running through my tired mind.

"Come here," he replied and he put his arms around me and pulled me against him. I closed my eyes. He smelled so good and he felt so good. "What is it about me?" he asked. "Do I have to decipher that question or shall I ignore it? I'm guessing you're too tired to think right now so I should probably ignore it." One of his hands slipped between my thighs and I felt my pulse speed up and that familiar tingling sensation started to become more insistent. "But I'll tell you what," Theo continued as his hand began to move, his fingers caressing my balls gently. "I'm sexy as fuck. That's what it is about me. You can't deny it."

I burst out laughing and he chuckled too before rolling me onto my back and disappearing under the covers. "I think I'm too tired," I started to say but my words turned into a gasp as his warm, wet mouth engulfed me.

~~~~

I lifted my head and looked at the clock. It was almost eight thirty in the morning. I sat up, wondering where I had left my phone last night. What if somebody had called?

"Relax," said Theo beside me. "The hospital never called. I'm guessing nothing has changed yet." I turned to face him.

"Are you sure? Where's my phone?"

"It's on your nightstand," he replied. "I got it for you after you fell asleep. Nobody called, I promise. Now lie down again. It's still early."

I lay back with a sigh. I hoped Theo was right; that nothing had changed. That would be good, wouldn't it? Or would that be bad? I sighed again.

"Niko, will you stop worrying?" Theo admonished. "They will call if they want you there. In the meantime, you should sleep some more."

"I can't. Not now. I'm awake." I shook my head. "I won't be able to fall asleep again."

"Then come here," he said. "Talk to me."

I turned my head to look at him. "What about?" I asked warily.

"Anything," he replied. "Whatever's on your mind." He shifted to his side and propped his head on his hand. "Just talk to me if you're not going to sleep."

I rolled onto my side and faced him, shoving a hand under my pillow. "How long have you known you were gay?"

Theo smiled. "Forever," he said. "Why?"

"No reason, I just wondered."

"Is that what's bothering you now?" he asked. "You're trying to decide if you are?" I shrugged. I wasn't sure _what_ I was trying to decide. I wasn't even sure why I'd asked the question. I wanted to change the subject.

"When's your birthday?" I asked.

"August 9th. When's yours?"

"September 2nd," I replied. "How old are you?"

Theo laughed. "I wondered when you were going to get around to asking me that. I'm twenty nine. Well, very nearly thirty. Which reminds me, I should have a party. It's not every day someone turns thirty."

"Well, that's not true," I replied. "Every day, someone, somewhere in the world, is turning thirty."

Theo nodded and smiled. "True." Then his eyebrows drew together. "What is it that you're avoiding talking to me about? This isn't a proper conversation. And it's not like you to indulge in small talk."

I frowned and looked away. He'd worked it out. He was right. I'd been avoiding talking about what I knew I needed to talk about. I sighed heavily. "Thursday night..."

"You didn't like it. I know that much," Theo stated and my head snapped back to look at him.

"I'm sorry," I started, unsure what to say next.

"Is it bothering you so much? Jeez, Niko! You should have said. You didn't need to walk out on me. You could have just said something. Although you didn't need to say anything. It was obvious, now that I think about it."

"I'm sorry," I said again.

"Look, we can work on it. Or we can never do it again. It's up to you. But I'm sorry. I guess I should have realised that was what made you sneak off." Theo bit his lip. "I just... I don't normally top. I'm..." He sighed. "It's just that it feels so fucking amazing when you're inside me. I wanted to make you feel how I do."

I didn't know what to say. Instead, I reached up, wrapped my hand around the back of his neck and pulled him down towards me.

~~~~

If we had waited for someone from the hospital to call before visiting Chris again, we would have been waiting forever, it seemed. Nobody called. We let Stephen sleep in, only rousing him for a late breakfast after we had showered and eaten some breakfast ourselves. We set off for the hospital at noon.

Chris' nurse confirmed that he was still comatose. She said that he'd had a 'comfortable' night and that his vital signs were steady and strong. She wouldn't say any more than that; refusing to answer questions about when Chris might be brought out of the coma.

At least she had no problem with us spending time in his room. Stephen made himself comfortable in the chair next to the bed, reaching under the covers to find Chris' hand. Theo and I stood by the window for a while, until I saw Detective Pearson peering through the door. He beckoned to me and I took a glance at Chris and Stephen then I headed out of the room, Theo following closely behind me.

"He's still unconscious? He hasn't woken yet?" Pearson asked.

"Nope." I shook my head. I didn't bother explaining that it wasn't up to Chris; it was up to the doctors when he would wake.

"Pity," Pearson said. "We have someone in custody. He's currently giving up his accomplices. There were three of them."

"How did you find them so quickly?" Theo asked.

"Well," Pearson began. "Obviously, since we found your friend in The Glen, we suspected it was a gay bashing." The detective cleared his throat. "Oh, forgive me, I shouldn't have said that. I mean a hate crime. We started calling on known suspects. People who had been involved in that sort of thing previously. Fortunately for us, one guy's wife gave him up immediately. Told us he came back from a night out with blood all over his clothes. He admitted it after his wife handed over the clothes. She told us she'd refused to wash them for him." Pearson chuckled. "Anyway, when your friend recovers, it'd be great if he could identify them for us. But I'm betting we have his blood on their clothes so maybe that's not so urgent. The important thing is we've got them." He paused for breath. "I... I hope Christopher recovers soon. You have my number. Give it to him when he's ready." With that, he nodded and started to back away. "I have to get back to the station now." He turned and started striding down the corridor, leaving me feeling a strange mixture of excitement and anger.

# Chapter 34

It would be four more days before Chris' nurse told us they were thinking of rousing him from his coma. We visited every day until then. I went back to work Monday and so I only visited in the evenings, but Stephen must have taken time away from work because he was there every time I turned up. He was there when I arrived and he remained when I left. Theo met me outside the hospital each night, after I had finished visiting Chris. We stayed at my place. He brought a small suitcase with him Tuesday night, which was a sensible move. My clothes were a little tight on him.

Theo in tight t-shirts... it shouldn't be allowed.

I was exhausted. What with work, not having caught up on the sleep I'd missed over the previous weekend, visiting the hospital each night, and Theo staying with me, I was completely knackered. But I wouldn't have changed it. We got into a nice routine. Supper together, showers together before bed. Sex before sleep. More sex before breakfast. Sitting in my kitchen in the mornings, drinking coffee, was just as enjoyable as everything else.

It didn't take me long to admit to myself that this was what I wanted. Just this. Him, me, together.

Although... he still hadn't told me he loved me. Perhaps he never would.

~~~~

Thursday morning, after breakfast, my intercom buzzed. I checked the screen, realised it was a delivery person, pressed the button to speak. "I'll be right down," I told her. It was one of the only things about my apartment that annoyed me. The deliveries that needed to be signed for never came to my front door; I had to go down to the foyer to collect them.

Having signed her electronic pad with a piece of plastic that was supposed to be a pen, I received my parcel and took the elevator back up to my floor. Theo was sitting on the couch, finishing his coffee. I threw myself down next to him, trying to remember when I had ordered something. I couldn't think what it might be. Probably because my brain was a little fried.

I ripped into the packaging and something tumbled out onto the carpet. I caught the other items before they, too, slipped away from me. Theo leaned forward and scooped up the stray item from the floor. He held it out to me with a chuckle.

"I see you've been shopping," he said. My eyes landed on the item, wrapped in clear plastic and I was mortified. I blushed furiously. Suddenly I remembered my Friday night online shopping extravaganza, after my chat with Glenn. I covered my eyes with a hand. Not that that did any good because Theo was holding the prostate massager I had ordered. "What else did you buy?" he asked through his chuckles and he started to rummage around amongst the other items on my lap. "Oh, nice!" he said. "I don't have one of these." I didn't dare look to see what he'd found. I flopped back against the back of the couch, my hand still over my eyes, wishing I could sink beneath the cushions.

~~~~

Thursday evening, at the hospital, was when we received the good news about Chris. First, the nurse told us that Chris was improving, and that the doctor had mentioned the possibility of waking him up. Then, the doctor himself appeared and said that they would definitely be bringing him out of his coma tomorrow. Friday; my day off. That meant I could be there when he woke. I was elated.

As I was preparing to leave for the night, Stephen stopped me. "Can I talk to you before you go?" he asked.

"Sure," I responded and he grabbed my arm and virtually dragged me out of Chris' room. "What's up?" I was curious, to say the least.

Stephen steered me to a quiet area of the corridor. He stared down at the floor for a moment before raising his eyes to mine and opening his mouth. "I don't think I should be here when he wakes up. I don't know how he'll feel if he sees me. Will you take care of him?"

I frowned at my cousin. "What are you talking about? You _have_ to be here. Why would you even consider not being here?"

Stephen shrugged. "I walked out on him, remember? We split up."

"That doesn't matter," I told him. "You've been here for him since Saturday. Pretty much all day, every day. You can't disappear now. Don't be silly."

Stephen shook his head. "I'm not coming. I can't. It's my fault he's here in the first place. He'll hate me when he realises."

I stopped myself from grabbing hold of him and shaking some sense into him. "Don't be ridiculous," I said, unable to believe what I was hearing. How had Stephen managed to turn all this around in his head like that? It wasn't his fault. Just like it wasn't mine. We didn't make Chris go to The Glen; he did that all by himself.

Then it occurred to me that Stephen might not want to be around to hear Chris explain _why_ he had been at The Glen. I could understand that, I suppose. I considered for a moment.

"Listen, Stephen," I began. "The chances are that when Chris does wake up, he won't really be in the mood for very much talking or listening. But I think it will do him good to see you here." I paused, not sure if I should say the next bit. But then I decided I should say it. "You love him, don't you?" He nodded sadly. "Then you two need to make up so you can be together again. The only way you're going to do that is if you're here - and he sees you're here. Because then he will know you've forgiven him. You _have_ forgiven him, haven't you?"

"Forgiven him for what?" Stephen asked. "He hasn't done anything wrong."

"Well, there you go then!" I grinned triumphantly. My cousin looked at me dubiously. " _He_ didn't do anything wrong. _You_ didn't do anything wrong either. You just need to talk to each other and make sure you both understand that." I cleared my throat. "And when the police want to question him, I can be there for that, if you like. You don't have to be a part of it. At some point you two will need to talk about what happened, but that doesn't have to happen until he's healed, which might take a while. We don't know how he's going to be when he wakes up. But we will find out tomorrow, won't we? Surely you want to be here to see him open his eyes?"

That did it. I could tell by his expression. The thought of seeing Chris open his eyes again, after a whole week, even I was desperate to see that happen. Stephen nodded and tears started rolling down his cheeks. I pulled him into a hug. I'd been hugging him a lot lately, I realised. "I'll see you tomorrow," I murmured. "Right here, okay?" He nodded against my shoulder.

~~~~

They had some stuff to work out, I thought to myself as I walked home with Theo. But I was sure they could do it. If they both wanted to. It remained to be seen whether Chris would want to get back with Stephen but I had a feeling he would. The way I saw it, Chris had gone out looking for something that was missing from his life after he and Stephen had broken up. And he hadn't found it. I knew Chris. I knew him almost as well as I knew myself. And Chris just wasn't the type to have mindless, casual sex with strangers. He never had been. That was _me_ , not him.

But, I reminded myself as we neared my apartment block, people could change. I had changed. Maybe Chris had changed too. That thought worried me a little but we would have to wait and see. We would find out soon enough.

"What are you frowning at?" Theo asked. I looked at him. Was I frowning? I hadn't realised.

"Nothing, just thinking about tomorrow, that's all," I replied.

"Mmhmm," he responded as I opened the front door. "Do you know what _I'm_ thinking about?"

"Nope, I haven't a clue," I said as I pushed the call button for the elevator. As usual it was on one of the upper floors.

Theo's arm wrapped around my waist and he leaned into me. "I'm thinking about tonight," he whispered. "I'm thinking about your new toys."

_Oh shit!_ I had completely forgotten about them.

~~~~

I was so glad it was Friday. Not only because Chris would be roused from his slumber today, but because Theo had kept me awake half the night and I was tired again. But I didn't have to go into work. I lay in bed and stared at the ceiling, listening to Theo in the bathroom. He had suggested a shared shower but I had refused. I knew where that was likely to lead and I was already aching in places I hadn't known I could ache.

It had been good, though. I smiled to myself as I remembered. I would have to thank Glenn next time I saw him.

Theo burst out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his lower half, thank goodness. "Get up sleepyhead," he sang. "Big day today."

I groaned. He was too loud and cheerful and I wanted to stay in bed a little longer. I was comfortable where I was. But Theo didn't care. He grabbed the covers and pulled them off the bed. "Hey," I shouted, making a failed attempt to grab them back.

"Oh no you don't!" He laughed. "These need to be washed anyway." He winked at me and I blushed but he was right. I sighed, crawled out of bed and ducked into the bathroom. "I'll make some breakfast," I heard Theo say as I started the shower.

~~~~

We weren't allowed in the room while the doctors and nurses did whatever it was they did to bring Chris out of his coma. It was a shame because it meant that neither Stephen nor I saw him open his eyes for the first time. But we would get over that minor disappointment as long as Chris was okay. I actually sat there in the waiting room with my fingers crossed. They had to carry out various tests before they would allow us to see him. Tests to make sure his brain had recovered. It was agonising, the waiting.

Finally, Chris' nurse appeared in the doorway of the waiting room and Stephen and I leapt to our feet. "Well?" Stephen asked. She grinned at us. I've never felt relief like that before. "Oh Jeez!" Stephen exclaimed and he grabbed me and hugged me. I'm not sure who was holding who up, but we managed not to slide to the floor in an embarrassing heap.

"Everything's fine," the nurse said, just to confirm. "You can see him soon." I heard her footsteps retreating.

So many things could have gone wrong. Chris could have had brain damage. He could have lost his memory. He could have lost other functions. But it would appear he got lucky. When the nurse returned, almost an hour later, ready to take us to see him, Stephen said, "You go first. I'll wait here." I shook my head at him, grabbed his hand and pulled him to the door with me. I was going to make sure he went in first. I could wait.

I watched through the glass in the door as they were reunited. Chris looked up and his face conveyed surprise, then happiness, then it crumpled up as he burst into tears. I saw his mouth move, and my lip-reading skills aren't the greatest, but there was no mistaking what he said. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I couldn't see Stephen's face because he had his back to me but he shook his head and rushed forward. As they embraced awkwardly, due to Chris still being half lying down in the bed, I backed away from the door. I leaned against the wall opposite the room and closed my eyes. They would be alright. I knew it.

~~~~

Theo met me outside the hospital, as he had done all week. I had spent almost an hour with Chris before I had left the room and Stephen had taken my place again. Chris was fine. He was almost his old self. I had made sure he knew how much time Stephen had spent at the hospital, because I suspected Stephen wouldn't mention it himself. Chris had said he knew. He said he'd known Stephen was there. I'm not sure if that was true but who was I to question a statement like that?

"What do you want to do now?" asked Theo. "A drink? Go home? Food?"

"How about we find somewhere to buy a bottle of wine and then we go back to my place and drink it?" I suggested.

So that's what we did. On the way to my apartment, we found the perfect bottle of wine and bought two of them. Back at my home, we sprawled on my couch and sipped it while listening to some uplifting music courtesy of Spotify.

Halfway through the second bottle, emboldened by the retsina, I turned to Theo.

"Move in with me," I said.

He looked startled. Then he slowly set his glass down on the table, turned to me and said, "No."

Crushed, I leapt up from the couch and stalked into the kitchen. _Fucking hell!_ Idiot! I'd just ruined everything. I wanted to cry. I stood in the middle of my kitchen, covered my eyes with one hand and tried not to cry.

I almost jumped out of my skin when Theo's arms snaked around my waist. He pulled me back against him. " _You_ move in with _me_ ," he murmured against my ear. My breath caught and my heart started to beat faster.

"Why?" I asked when I could speak again.

"Because I love you," he said.

~~~~

One week later, Chris was released from hospital and Theo, myself and Stephen were there to take him home. Well, Stephen took him home. Their home, because he had already moved back in. Theo and I stayed for an hour and we had a beer with them before heading for _Sasha's_.

Chris knew he had to take it easy for a while and he also had to return to the hospital for check-ups occasionally, but apart from that, he was fine. Stephen was planning to take him to Portugal for a week, as soon as the doctors allowed him to travel. That made me slightly envious. I hadn't had a holiday in ages. And it got me thinking.

As Theo and I entered _Sasha's_ , I grabbed his arm and spun him around. "When was the last time you saw your father?" I asked.

Theo's eyebrows rose in surprise and then he grinned. "You wanna meet my father?"

I nodded. "You've met mine," I replied. "It's only fair."

"It is. You're right. Let's go to Μύκονος."

~~~~

Two weeks after that, Friday, before I'd even thought about getting out of bed and starting the day, my phone rang. Theo groaned and rolled away from me. I picked up the phone and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hi Nick. You're not working today, are you?" It was Chris.

"Nope, wasn't planning to. Why?" Theo mumbled something and I shushed him.

"I was wondering if you would come somewhere with me," Chris replied.

"Oh? Where?" I asked. I already had an inkling.

Chris cleared his throat. "The Waterloo Street clinic. I, er... I need to get tested again."

I suppressed a chuckle. We had already talked about this last week. In fact, it was me who reminded Chris that he should get tested. After his recent antics, it was only wise. Obviously, the hospital had carried out blood tests. And he had been negative at the time, but there was a window when it wasn't detectable.

"Of course I'll come with you," I replied. "I told you I would, didn't I? You didn't believe me?"

"Well, it's not that... it's just... you might have made plans with Theo."

"Nah," I replied. "Nothing that can't wait. What time do you want to meet?"

"How about ten o'clock?"

I peered at the clock. "Yep, that's fine. I'll meet you outside the clinic at ten."

"You're sure you don't mind?" Chris asked.

"Of course not," I replied, grinning. "What are friends for?"

~~~~ The End ~~~~

~~~~~

So, you've reached the end of the book. Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. If you did enjoy it, please consider leaving a review at the place where you downloaded it. I would appreciate that.

Thank you.

JC Dixon

~~~~~

Other titles by JC Dixon:

The Log Cabin

Shorts

~~~~~

In the works:

The Castlefield Killer

Tamaloth

Irish Eyes (CS Book 1)

sub Standard (CS Book 2)

More Shorts

~~~~~

The cover image, "Friends", is a derivative of  "Eagle NYC / 20070908.10D.45133 / SML" by See-ming Lee, used under CC BY-SA 2.0. The original image was cropped slightly, the colour saturation and sharpness were amended and the resulting image was placed on a black background. "Friends" is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.

