

Who to Trust?

Lacey Pearson

Copyright 2016 by Lacey Pearson

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved.

Prologue

### Lexie

## September 12, 2011

The ambulance has stopped, and everything around me is chaos. We must have finally arrived at the hospital. I thank god, because my entire body hurts. My right side feels like it is on fire, my abdomen and chest is burning, and my left arm is completely numb. I look to my left and see my older brother, Shawn, with tears running down his face while he looks at his lap. He won't even look at me. I know him not looking at me is not as much about what happened to me as it is about his own guilt, but i can't help but wonder if he will ever look at me the same way again. The back doors to the ambulance burst open and I am met with familiar faces. These are the people I usually work next to, saving other people, but today it's me they are here to save.

My entire body is shaking, and I can't make it stop. I'm not sure if it is the pain, the fear, the panic, or if I am going into shock, but I can't make it stop. I want to be strong in front of these people I see almost every day, but I know I can't appear strong lying on a gurney, covered in blood, with my entire body shaking, naked except for a thin blanket protecting my body from everyone's eyes. The gurney has been pulled out of the ambulance and the nurses are running next to me, pushing me down the hall of the hospital toward the operating rooms. They are barking orders to each other, things I should understand since I am also a nurse at this hospital, but nothing is making sense to me. Why isn't anything they say making sense?

"We're losing her," one of the nurses yells to the others. "I'm sorry sir but you can't go any further." who is she talking to?

I look over and see Shawn still running with us. He looks at me and meets my eyes, "I'm going to check on the boys."

Oh god, my boys! How has this effected my boys? I know they weren't injured, but will they ever be the same after the things they saw tonight? Will they still have that sweet, childlike innocence? Will they ever get it back?

We push through double doors into another hall, and a doctor meets us there. Things are starting to get blurry, and I can't understand anything anyone is saying. What is wrong with me? Why is it getting worse? I can't make out anyone's faces anymore as they run through the hospital halls beside my gurney. The pain is even starting to fade. I want to thank god, but what does it mean that I'm not in as much pain? Am I dying? We burst through the doors into the operating room, and everything goes black.
Chapter 1

### Lexie

## October 17, 2011

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I turn around to see my younger brother, Mason, standing in the door of the u haul. "I'm unloading MY boxes." I snap at him. I am so sick of being babied. Sure my left arm is still in a cast, and I have a few broken ribs still healing, but the pain isn't quite as bad anymore, and I got my stitches out. My siblings need to back off! I look back again to see that my little sister, Mason's twin, Madison, has stepped up beside him and has her arms crossed across her chest and her hip stuck out, and I know this is about to be a fight.

I turn to face them and mirror her pose. "Look you two, I'm not capable of just sitting down while you two do all the work! I appreciate y'all helping me move, but y'all are leaving in the morning and it's just going to be me and the boys in a new town where we know no one. I have to get used to doing things on my own again. Besides, I feel fine!" I turn back and pick up the box I came for. Pain shoots through my ribs, and I drop it. I look back to find Mason and Madison looking at me with the same concern on both their faces. I turn and stomp out of the u haul, and into my new home without saying a word to either of them.

Sitting on the floor in my new, empty bedroom with my back against the wall I allow myself to think about the last month. The first two weeks after the attack was spent in the hospital. For the first 2 days I was in a medically induced coma. After I came out of the coma my days and nights were filled with pain. They had to operate on my left arm to fix the break, I had hundreds of stitches all over my chest and abdomen, and I had a stab wound in my right side. I had lost a quarter of the blood in my body.

When I left the hospital my brother Shawn had me and the boys put into a safe house until I could get my name changed and was recovered enough to move away where no one would know where to find me. I cut off my long beautiful blond hair to a pixie cut and dyed it dark brown. I changed my name from Lindsie Brown to Alexis Evans.

I wouldn't dare tell my siblings this, but sitting here all alone in an empty room I can admit to myself that I am terrified. Almost consumed with fear. I am in a new town 650 miles away from everyone I know, and tomorrow morning when Mason and Madison go back home to Birmingham, Alabama I will be alone except for my two sons. I know I will be safer here and shouldn't be scared, but with three siblings and a few close friends I have always been surrounded by people I knew and loved. I thought the fear would leave me when I arrived in my new home and knew I was safe, but I guess I was wrong.

"MOM!" The sound of my son's voice startles me and pulls me from my thoughts. I push myself up using the help of the wall as I hear his feet pounding up the stairs as he calls for me again. My bedroom door flies open and bounces off the wall. I give Justin the "mom look".

"Sorry," he replies with a grin." Uncle Mason told me to come get you." He runs off again before I can even ask why.

I find Mason rolling in the front yard with Justin. "Looks like you're getting a lot of work done."

"Oh hey Lexie, I was going to run get something for lunch right quick, do you want anything?"

I tell him to grab me a burger and he gets both the boys in the car and pulls out of the driveway. Maddie walks out of the house just as a metallic blue mustang pulls into the driveway next door. Three very large men climb out of the car and all just stand there looking our way. About 7 feet away from them I immediately become uncomfortable with the attention. They are all absolutely gorgeous. The one that climbed out of the backseat doesn't look friendly at all. He has a hard stare and stands there with his hands stuffed deep in the pockets of his jeans. He stands a few inches over 6 feet and has short light brown hair and sky blue eyes and a long scar along his left cheek that descends to his jaw. It does not make him any less attractive. The one who was driving is also a little over 6 feet, but has messy brown hair and amazing gray eyes. This one looks friendly though, as he stands there staring at us with his arms folded on top of the car and a smile on his face. My eyes move to the third man, and I take a step backwards. He is probably the most gorgeous man I have ever set eyes on with shaggy jet black hair and the brightest green eyes I've ever seen. His eyes almost seem to shine they are so bright, as he stands there glaring right at me. What did I do to piss him off?

"Well damn, it's true what they say about hot guys traveling in packs," Maddie whispers to me. I try not to laugh at her as I turn my back to them and walk towards the u haul. I see a box that says linens and know its light enough for me to carry myself. As I walk back out of the u haul. With the box, the friendly looking man is standing there.

"Now I can't let a woman in a cast carry her own stuff while I'm around. Let me get that for you, beautiful."

I want to kick him in his shin and run in the house and lock the door. I don't handle being around strange men well since the attack. I feel a little panic swell up in my chest and shove it back down. He's only trying to help me and be neighborly. I think maybe I can handle him carrying the box inside as long as i stay outside. I can't be in that house alone with a man I don't know. I know for a fact that would start a panic attack, and I don't want to push it. I also don't want to seem like a bitch. I have no idea what to do. He raises an eyebrow at me and I realize I've been standing here looking at him for too long. I hand him the box and look at Maddie. She nods that she understands and follows him into the house.

He comes right back out, Maddie still trailing behind him and walks right up to me. I fight the urge to step back away from him. "I'm sorry I didn't even introduce myself. My names Dillon. Dillon Johnson." I ignore the hand he's extended towards me. I don't really like being touched anymore, not by anyone besides my siblings. I stick my hands in my back pockets.

"Hi, I'm Alexis Evans, but everyone calls me Lexie." I point to me left, "This is my sister, Maddie." My eyes go to the other two men still standing by the car. The biggest one is still glaring at me and I shuffle my feet nervously.

The one with the hard stare pulls a hand from his pocket and gives a little wave, "I'm Carson."

I look over at the pissed off looking one and wait for him to tell us his name. He turns on his heel and stomps up the driveway into the house and slams the door behind him without even a hello. What the hell was that? Dillon clears his throat and I turn back to him.

"I'm sorry about that. That's Jax. He's not very social, or friendly really." he chuckles." Can me and Carson help you two finish unloading the truck? We can knock this out in no time." I look at all the stuff still piled high in the u haul, and then back at the two very large, strong looking men and nod my head. I might be very uncomfortable around men I don't know, but I really could use their help. As long as they don't touch me and I'm not alone with them I think I'll be fine. I call Mason and tell him to get a few extra burgers.

I start back into the truck to help, only to be stopped by Carson. He just looks at me and snaps, "no." Dillon looks at him and rolls his eyes before telling me in a soft voice, "you just go sit down, we got this."

Sitting beside Maddie in the rocking chairs on the front porch we watch as they make trip after trip into the house with boxes and furniture. "I can't believe you live next door to these guys Lexie, if I hadn't sworn off men forever I would move in with you just to be close to them." she giggles as Dillon walks out the door and down the steps grinning. He looks back over his shoulder "We don't live next door, Jax does." I look back towards the house next door and wonder again what his problem is. Not that I want him around, because I don't. I'm uncomfortable enough around the other two without him glaring at me, but I do wonder why he seemed to hate me at first sight.

**********

### Jax

"This is bullshit!"

I stomp back into my living room with a beer and sit down in my recliner to think. I should have moved somewhere away from other houses so I couldn't have neighbors! That is what I should have done, but did I? No! I hate having neighbors. I am definitely not a neighborly guy anymore. I live at the end of a dead end so there isn't a house to my right. The house to my left has been empty since before I bought my house. So I haven't had to deal with neighbors so far, and I don't want to now!

Having an attractive woman living next door is the last thing I need in my life! I swore off women all together, and I'm sticking to it no matter how attractive she is. I learned that lesson years ago. After Nicole, and what she did to me, I will never get close to a woman again. She showed me what women are capable of and I don't want anything to do with any of them. Yes I have needs like any other man, but I can take care of that myself. I haven't been with a woman in....... four years. Huh, has it really been that long? Damn, maybe that's why I had such a strong reaction to Lexie when I first set eyes on her. Yeah, that's it. It's just been too long and she's so beautiful it hit me twice as hard, no big deal. I'll just stay away from her and it won't be a problem. I'm not home too often anyway, and when I am I usually stay inside unless I need to work in the yard, or me and the guys drink a beer on the back patio.

I'll just avoid her and when I do see her I'll make sure she realizes I'm an asshole so she will avoid me too. There, problem solved! That shouldn't be too hard after the first impression I just made. Hell, I didn't even introduce myself to her or the other woman. I just glared at her like she just kicked my puppy or something, but I couldn't seem to help it. I've had no problem staying away from women for four years and she moves here and all the sudden my body is reacting like a fourteen year old boy.

My body's reaction to seeing her was so strong it pissed me off. I realize it's not her fault, but it isn't my fault either, and I don't know who to blame so I choose to blame her. The sound of loud laughter breaks the silence. I walk across my living room and look out the front window. I don't see Carson and Dillon anywhere, they must be inside Lexie's house. Lexie and Maddie are sitting in rocking chairs on the front porch. I hear another laugh and look over towards her driveway.

"Oh what the hell? She has kids?" I growl at the empty room. Is she married? Is that her husband? I pull the curtain back further to get a better look. Two identical looking little boys run from the car over to Lexie. They look like twins, if they aren't twins I'd be shocked. They look the same age, and so identical to each other I don't know how anyone tells them apart. They both seem tall for little kids and very scrawny. They have shaggy blond hair and I can't see their eyes from here. They basically look like miniature versions of the man they just pulled up with. Is that their dad? Her husband? I realize when he steps up next to Maddie and puts his arm around her that he looks like a male replica of Maddie. He must be their brother.

So are the kids his or hers? God, I hope they're his! I can't stand kids and sure as hell don't want any living next door. I have loved living here since I moved in four years ago, when me and Nicole got a divorce. It's a very quiet street. Mostly older people, and not a single kid on this street. It's a very peaceful place to live. I have a feeling that is about to change. As if to drive that point home the quiet afternoon is shattered with a high pitch scream as one boy throws his drink in the others face before taking off running into the house while Lexie yells after them to get back here. Well that answers it. They're hers and I not only have an attractive woman next door, but two children as well. I have a feeling I'm going to be spending a lot of time away from home.

**********

### Lexie

"Just a little while longer?"

I look over at Justin as I kiss Jason good night. It takes all of my willpower not to roll my eyes. He says the exact same thing every night since he learned to talk. "You already know the answer sweetheart so why ask? I already let y'all stay up later than usual to spend more time with Aunt Maddie and Uncle Mason since they go home tomorrow, and now you have to go to bed. We have a lot more unpacking to do tomorrow." He sighs, but doesn't argue as he crawls into his bed on the other side of the room from his brother.

The house is a five bedroom, 4 bath, two story home, but they insisted on sharing a room even though we had plenty. I'm pretty sure that as they get older they will want their own space and privacy, but maybe I'm wrong. According to Maddie and Mason they may never want to be apart. Even at 27 years old those two spend as much time together as possible, and bought houses next door to each other. Even having siblings that are twins and my sons that are twins I still don't fully understand them. I love my brothers and sister and I love to be around them, but there is such a thing as too much! I go over to kiss Justin, and leave the room to go talk to Mason and Maddie before I go to bed as well. I leave the door cracked so that I can hear if one of them has a nightmare.

They have both suffered from nightmares since my attack. Justin has only had a few, but Jason has them pretty often. Justin is definitely handling the attack better than Jason. They didn't actually witness the whole attack, thank god, but Jason did walk into my room just in time to see my attacker stab me and dive out the bedroom window. Justin only saw the aftermath because Jason had started to scream, and he came to see what was wrong.

They were both clingy to me when I first got out of the hospital, but in the last week or so Justin has started to get back to his normal self. Jason is not. He used to be exactly like his brother, very outgoing, friendly with everyone, loud, and very mischievous. Recently he's a little more subdued than usual. Most mornings I wake up to find him either in my bed with me or in Justin's bed with him.

They are both very cautious of strangers now, especially men, but Jason seems to be downright scared of men he doesn't know. When they came inside to find Carson and Dillon Moving furniture around they both disappeared to their rooms until after the men left. I'm thinking about sending them to a therapist, but Shawn told me to give it a couple more weeks and if there's still a problem then send them, but to give them a little time to see if they worked it out themselves.

I peek into my room on my way by and see that my bed has also been put together and sheets on it. I can't get over how much we got done today. Carson, Mason, and Dillon put all the beds together and rearranged my furniture where I wanted it. Maddie put sheets on everyone's beds and unpacked some of our clothes while I unpacked the some boxes. No one would let me move any boxes, but they agreed it should be okay for me to unpack them and put some stuff away.

I think about our new home as I walk down the upstairs hallway. I absolutely love it. It's fairly new, the realtor told Shawn it had only had one previous owner. Upstairs there's a hallway straight down the middle of the house. There are two bedrooms on each side, and a bathroom to the left between the two rooms. The boys are in the first room to the left, and I'm in the first to the right.

I stop walking as I come to the bottom of the steps and hear Maddie and Mason talking about me. I sit down on the bottom step and listen.

"Mason, I'm worried about going back home and leaving them here all alone. What if they need something? What if she needs help? She doesn't know anyone here. Who would she go to?"

"I know sweetheart, but Shawn says this is the safest option for her. We have to trust him. He knows this kind of stuff, we don't. We know medicine, and he knows criminals. We have to listen to him on this. She is safer away from us, in a new town, with a new name."

"I understand that he knows criminals but like you said we know medicine. She still has 3 broken ribs and a cast on her arm for Christ's sake! She had surgery on her arm 4 weeks ago and was stabbed 5 weeks ago! How is she supposed to take care of two boys herself? Not just any two boys but Justin and Jason! You know how much trouble those boys usually cause! Do you not remember that time you were babysitting and the tie you to a chair? One of us should stay here with her!"

"I understand what you're saying Maddie, I do, but Shawn also said it could put her in danger for us to stay. We can visit every now and then for a day or two at a time, but we can't stay."

I walk into the kitchen where they are sitting, "Y'all can stop trying to make decisions for me. I am perfectly capable of taking care of my kids. Yes I still have some pain but it's not nearly as bad. Yall are going home tomorrow, and going back to yall's jobs. You're not putting your lives on hold for any longer because of me." I grin at mason," besides who would break all the hearts back home without you there?"

Mason chuckles and shakes his head at me, but he knows it's true. He's a huge player. With his blond hair, blue eyes, tanned skin, boy next door good looks, and southern charm he's got women throwing themselves at him left and right. Doesn't hurt matters that he's a doctor and his last name is Brown. Everyone in our home town knows our family has a ton of money. Mason has gold diggers crawling out of the word work after him.

"Alright, I'm going to bed. I'll see y'all in the morning before you leave." I kiss both of them on the head as I walk by and head back upstairs to my room. I check my closet and under my bed, and make sure my steak knife is under my mattress before I finally lay down and let myself drift to sleep.

Chapter 2

### Lexie

## October 18, 2011

I wake up to a pounding sound that sounds like it's coming from the front door. I look over at my alarm clock, only to realize I haven't unpacked it yet and it's not there. I roll out of bed and shuffle to my bedroom door. I walk across the hall to see that the boys aren't in their room. They must already be up and playing somewhere. I hear a pissed off male voice coming from downstairs, but I can't make out what he's saying. I slow as I come to the top of the stairs not sure who that is that I hear downstairs. I know it's not my brother. I lean over the railing to get a peek at the front door, and I see my sister's back as she stands in the doorway, hands on her hips. I can't see who is at the door from this angle with my sister standing in the way, but I can definitely hear him. As I make my way slowly down the stairs, Mason comes around the corner and plants himself at Maddie's back.

"I don't know whose kids those boys are, but y'all better start keeping a better eye on them!" a man's voice growls at Maddie and Mason. Oh god, we've been here not even 24 hours, and the boys have already pissed someone off! I step up next to mason and see Jax standing at my front door looking even more pissed off than he did yesterday. Damn, he looks even better than he did yesterday too. Yesterday he was in distressed jeans and a black t-shirt, but today he's in a suit. I scan down his body, I can't seem to help it, and my eyes stop at the badge on his belt. A grin overtakes my face, I moved in next door to a cop! Could this get any better? Well, it's not a great situation considering how much my boys get in trouble, but it's an amazing situation that I'm running from a criminal and end up next door to a cop. Shawn is going to be ecstatic when he finds out. I cut my eyes over at Mason and Maddie without moving my head and see that they are also staring at his badge with grins on their faces. I turn my eyes back to Jax to find that he is, once again, glaring at me. This seems to be becoming a habit. I just grin back at him. I'm not as intimidated as yesterday now that Mason is standing next to me.

"Are they yours?"

I blink, "Um, excuse me?"

"The boys, are the boys yours?"

"Yes, they are. What did they do?"

He hold up a baseball, "This was in my living room." he growls again. He seems to do that a lot.

It takes me a minute to understand how it got inside his house. "Oh, shit!" He just raises his eyebrows at me. "They broke your window?" Maddie immediately starts giggling, and I elbow her to shut her up. Jax seems mad enough without laughing about it. Mason is biting his lip like he's trying not to laugh as well. "I am so sorry Jax, I'll pay for the window to be replaced!"

He hands me the baseball and yells, "You bet your ass you will!" He turns and stomps back to his house. He looks over his shoulder and yells at me, "and keep your kids away from my house! Just stay on your side of the property, and keep your kids away from me and my house!" The three of us stand there in shock. Did he for real just yell at me?

"What the hell is that guy's problem?" Mason asks us.

Maddie turns to me, "Maybe he just doesn't like kids, but he was an asshole yesterday too, and the boys were gone, so I don't know."

I turn to find both boys peeking around the corner of the wall separating the foyer from the living room. I hold the baseball up, "what happened?"

"It was an accident." they answer in unison.

"How did it happen?"

Once I get the whole story and believe it truly was an accident I hand them the baseball telling them to be more careful, and inform them that they will be doing extra chores to help pay for the window.

"Oh, and you will also both apologize to Mr......" I realize I don't know his last name, "Jax,"

Jason looks horrified, "but mom he's scary."

"You two broke his window and will apologize!"

"Yes ma'am." They both shuffle out of the front door.

**********

### Jax

"Keep your kids away from me and my house!" I storm back to my house and slam the door. God I can't believe those little terrors broke my window on their first day living next door! It's going to be hell living next to them! I walk into my kitchen and grab my coffee mug to get some coffee before work. I am halfway through pouring a cup when I hear a quiet knock on my door. I walk over and pull the door open to find the twins standing on my porch. My eyebrows draw together as I notice one of the boys is huddled up against the other one, almost behind him, and seems to be trembling as he stands there. What the hell? Is he that scared of me? Why? Sure I yelled at his mom a minute ago, but it wasn't that bad!

"What is it?"

"We're sorry we broke your window. It was only an accident." The other one says tentatively.

I look at the other terrified looking boy again and immediately feel bad for being such an asshole. I don't like being around kids anymore but maybe it wouldn't hurt me to be just a little bit nicer to them. "Don't let it happen again." They both nod.

I close the door and walk back into my kitchen to finish my coffee before I leave for work. What was that about? Why did they seem so scared? That's not a normal reaction to someone just because they yelled. I don't get it. What would make a child so scared of people? Are they abused? I'm pretty sure the cop in me is just being paranoid, but I decide to keep an eye on things next door and see if anything else strange is going on. I hear another knock and swing the door open to find Dillon.

"What's up Dillon?"

"Why were you an asshole yesterday? You didn't even introduce yourself. You just walked in the house and slammed the door. What the hell man?"

"You already know I hate women! Now I have a single one living right next door to me with her two little boys to drive me insane. Walk in the living room and check out the window!"

"You sure it's just that you hate women? You usually aren't rude to them. You normally just ignore them. I think it has more to do with how hot this one is" He says it with a smirk on his face and I glare at him but don't respond.

He turns and heads into the living room, and I follow behind him. He bursts out laughing as he crosses the threshold. I glare at him again, I really don't see what's funny in this situation. I scan my living room. There are two front windows looking out into the backyard. One of them is shattered with glass all over my floor. The glass coffee table is also shattered, I guess the baseball hit it when it came through the window.

"What the hell happened here?"

I continue to glare at him for finding this shit funny, "a baseball happened." The asshole actually starts laughing harder.

"You know what? I think them living next to you might actually be good for you. Teach you some compassion. You going to try and tell me you never broke a window when you were little?" I just shake my head at him and go to grab my travel mug of coffee so we can head into the station.

As we walk down the steps of my front porch discussing what we have to do today we both jerk our heads around when we hear a popping sound. Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Pain explodes on my left leg, side, and arm. We both dive behind my truck in the driveway. I am bent double this shit hurts so bad. "Oh what the fuck was that?" I look at Dillon to find him with his hand over his mouth, shoulders shaking, while he looks at me with wide eyes. I look down to see my suit splattered with paint. "Holy hell! Those little shits shot me with paint ball guns!"

"That's what you get for being mean to our mom!" Dillon loses it at this point.

A minute later Dillon stands up holding his stomach, still laughing, and looks over towards Lexie's house. He bends over laughing even harder. "They just snipered you out of an upstairs bedroom window." I stand up next to him and go to smack him on the head for laughing, but hear two more pops and feel pain in my chest. I drop back on my ass behind the truck.

"Oh shit just stay down man!"

"Well you were standing up! Why aren't they shooting you?"

The asshole is trying to catch his breath from laughing so hard. "I guess because I wasn't mean to their mom."

When Dillon finally tells me the coast is clear I storm over to Lexie's house, and bang on the door for the second time today. I feel Dillon come up behind me. It swings open to reveal the man I still haven't been introduced to so I don't know his name. He takes one look at me and roars with laughter. When he finally gets control of himself he yells for Lexie and Maddie. I am standing there fuming when they both walk around the corner into the foyer. Lexie's hand immediately slaps over her mouth and her eyes grow as big a saucers. Maddie shares Dillon and the other man's reaction and bursts out laughing.

"I don't think it's funny. This shit hurts like hell! All I was doing was walking down my driveway to go to work!"

Lexie looks like she feels really bad, "I'm so sorry I have no idea why they would do this! I promise I'll take their paintball guns away for a while."

Dillon steps up next to me with a smirk, "I know why they did it. They yelled out the window that's what you get for being mean to our mom." Lexie gasps and all humor leaves Maddie and the man's faces. The man looks at Lexie.

"I think it's kind of understandable that they would try to protect you right now."

"I understand them wanting to protect me, Mason, but all he did was yell at me because they broke his window!"

I decide to speak up, "shooting people with paintball guns is assault! Or did y'all not know that? I could arrest the little terrors!" They all look at me like I'm the biggest asshole they have ever seen. Hello, I'm not the problem here!

Maddie yells," Oh come on! They are nine years old! They thought they were protecting their mom because you were being an asshole this morning over a fucking accident! Little boys break windows sometimes, it happens. Lin... Lexie said she would pay to replace it so there really was no reason for you to yell like you did. The boys don't respond well to men. Especially ones they find scary. We will talk to them and take the paintball guns away, there isn't any reason to get the cuffs out."

I look over at Dillon to find him smiling at Maddie, and she rolls her eyes at him. "Why do nine year olds even have paint ball guns?"

Lexie speaks up." Our oldest brother, Shawn, has a whole lot of property and him, Mason, and the boys would play paintball out behind his house on weekends, sometimes, so he got them their own guns. They have never shot anyone with them before, except when playing with Shawn and Mason. I really am sorry."

"Is this, Shawn, an idiot to buy two nine year olds their own paintball guns? Doesn't he know how much trouble a kid can get into with those things? Did he ask the local police how many teens they arrest a year because of them? People have no idea how much trouble kids cause with those things!" All the siblings start to chuckle, but I don't get the joke. I glare at them.

"I'm sorry Jax, but yes I'm sure he knows, and no he's not an idiot." Lexie's eyes drop to my badge and come back to meet my eyes. "He's a detective" she says with a grin.

Well shit, now I look like an idiot. Dillon is rubbing a hand over his mouth to try and hide his own grin. Fuck this! I turn around and walk away.

Chapter 3

### Jax

"I'm telling you something about that family isn't right!" Me, Dillon, and Carson are sitting on my back patio drinking a few beers. "I've thought about it all day and something doesn't add up."

Dillon starts chuckling," So in other words you thought about Lexie all day?"

Carson smirks but doesn't say anything, as usual. The guy barely talks at all. We don't know why and we don't push it. He's a good guy, and the three of us have been friends since high school. We have been through everything together. High school drama, military, tours of duty, coming home, what Nicole did to me, and our subsequent divorce. Through all that Carson has never told us why he is so withdrawn, why he barely talks even to us, or why in the sixteen years that we've been friends, we have never once seen him with a girlfriend. It makes no sense, women love the whole quiet, mysterious thing he has going on, but he has no interest in any of them. To tell the truth Dillon and I both wonder if he might be gay, but have never asked. If he wanted us to know what's up he'd tell us.

"I'm telling you shit doesn't add up. Dillon, did you not catch earlier today when Maddie almost called Lexie by a different name? She said Lin and then changed it to Lexie. Look at her roots, She's a natural blond, now you tell me how many natural blonds dye their hair dark brown? Plus, I'm telling y'all, you didn't see those two boys this morning when they came to apologize about the window. One looked nervous, but the other looked absolutely terrified of me! No shit, I worried he was going to piss his pants or something. What the fuck is that? Something isn't right."

Carson looked over towards Lexie's house then back at me, "maybe her husband was abusive or something and now they're hiding. I mean she does have a cast on her arm. That would explain the hair color, the new name, and the boys being scared of you." I nod. That makes sense.

Dillon tosses his beer can in the nearby trash can. "Well I think y'all are jumping ahead of yourselves. I mean y'all don't know that anything is wrong. It could be that the boys haven't been around many men, and are scared of you because you're an asshole. You're just looking for something wrong in that family because you want them gone. Leave them alone. She seems like a nice enough woman." He stood up and walks towards the door. "Now if y'all will excuse me I'm going to the bar. There are too many lonely women in this town."

Me and Carson chuckle and hold our beers up as a goodbye. "I swear his dicks going to fall off one day." Carson just grins and shakes his head.

We are both used to Dillon and his ways with women. He loves women and women love him, but his longest relationship to date was five months. He doesn't believe in settling down, but loves to play the field.

We hear a door slam next door and both look over. The twins are running into the back yard with a football and haven't noticed us sitting here yet. We watch them for a few minutes, throwing the ball back and forth and running and tackling each other.

Carson turns back to me and whispers so we don't draw the kid's attention, "Maybe Dillon's right, and you're looking for something that isn't there. They seem like normal kids to me."

"Okay, watch this." I put my beer down and stand up. I soften my voice as much as I can, "Hey boys!" I wave at them. They both freeze, and look at me with huge eyes. One boy turns and runs to the other before looking at me again. Neither one waves back or says anything, they just stand there staring at me. "Yall like football?" They turn at the same time and run inside the house. I sit back down and turn to Carson, "see what I mean?"

He grunts and nods at me. "It could just be you though."

I look over at their house and wonder if he's right. Is it me? Am I really such an asshole that I actually scare little kids that bad? Or am I right, and something isn't right with that family?

**********

### Lexie

"Mom can we move again?"

I turn away from the kitchen sink where I'm washing the dinner dishes to see both boys standing in the doorway of the kitchen. "No baby, we have to stay here at least until the bad man is caught. Maybe then we can go back home, but until he's caught we are staying right here. Why?"

Jason looks down at his feet, "that mean guy next door scares us."

"Oh honey," I dry my hands off and sit in one of the four chairs at the small table we put in the corner of the kitchen, and motion for them to sit as well. "Even if we moved somewhere else we would still have neighbors. I don't think it's that this man in particular scares you as much as all men scare you right now. And I understand that, sweetheart, I really do. Men kind of scare me right now too."

Both of their head tilt and they both have the exact same expression of disbelief on their faces, "really?" they say in unison, "but you're not scared of anything." Justin argues.

"Let me tell y'all a secret. Even adults get scared sometimes." I laugh at the look they both give me. "It's true. I'm kind of scared of men right now too but we will all get better. One day none of us will be scared just because there is a man around. We just have to keep trying and try not to be so scared, and one day we won't even have to try anymore. The fear won't be there."

They both look down at their hands on the table as they think about what I said. Jason peeks up at me through his lashes, "But this man is mean."

I sigh, "I don't think he's actually mean. I think maybe he's just not used to having neighbors. Now he has two loud, crazy, active little boys next door and it's going to take him time to get used to it. Does that make sense?" They both nod their heads, "now what happened since this morning that made y'all want to move again?"

Justin answers, "Nothing really, we were playing football outside, and him and one of those guys from yesterday were sitting outside and he tried to talk to us. It just scared us because we don't know him and it's the first time he's talked to us without being mad so we ran inside."

"Did you say anything back to him?"

"No ma'am," they answer together.

"Well that was rude. Next time he tries to talk to y'all, answer him, and maybe when you talk to him a few times you won't be so scared of him anymore."

"Yes ma'am!" they get up and run upstairs.

"Yall get ready for bed! I'll be up in a few minutes to tell y'all goodnight."

Later that night I lay in my bed unable to sleep. I don't feel as safe anymore without Maddie and Mason here with us. I cried when they left this morning, but only after they were gone. I never would have cried in front of them. They would have stayed if I had, and I can't let them put their lives on hold because I have a crazy stalker. I don't know how long he's been stalking me, but I remember noticing weird things for years. Feeling like I was being watched, things moved around in my house when I was sure I had put it somewhere else, Keys going missing, doors unlocked when I thought I had locked them. I never paid it much attention, I just thought I was being absent minded and forgetting where I put things or forgetting to lock the door.

Then six years ago my parents were killed in a car accident. Their brake line was cut and they were on a curvy road at night on their way to my house. My father had called to see if I was home and said they were coming over. They wanted to see the boys and my dad said he had something to talk to me about. The car went off the road and hit a tree. They were both killed instantly. The next morning I walked outside to find a vase of red carnations on my front porch. I still didn't think much of it, maybe a friend heard what happened last night and didn't want to bother me. Every year after that on the anniversary of my parent's death I found a vase of red carnations on my porch. After the first couple years, I started realizing it was strange, but I still didn't tell anyone about it. Until last year when on the anniversary of their death, I woke up to find the vase of carnations inside my house. They were sitting on my kitchen counter. That's when I got scared.

I called Shawn and he came over immediately. I told him about the flowers coming the morning after their death and every year after that, but that they had always been on the front porch, until now. When I told him someone had left them inside my house this time, I thought his head was going to explode. He asked me if I had noticed anything else strange or had felt like I was being watched. I told him everything and that I didn't know when it started but it had been happening for years. He came back the next day and started packing me and the kids up. He told me that he was moving us in with him and his wife, Jessica, for a little while. Just until we figured out what was going on. He thought I might have a stalker. He told me that carnations are an apology flower and he didn't like the fact that they were sent to me on the anniversary of our parents deaths when their brakes were purposely cut. Whoever was sending them to me could be who killed our parents.

I refused to believe that. Our parents had died six years ago. No way had someone been watching me for that long without me knowing it! We moved in with Shawn and Jessica about a week later. We lived with him for five months with no problems. We had no idea if I really ever had a stalker at all, or if I did, was he still around? Things had been quiet for five months so we didn't know what to think, but then again for years only little bitty things happened, so small that I didn't even notice that something wasn't right, except for the flowers. We had seven more months to wait to see if they came again. Then a few months later one of the doctors at the hospital where I worked asked me on a date. That's what changed my life forever. One simple date and nothing would ever be the same.
Chapter 4

### Lexie

## October 19, 2011

I'm lying in bed staring at the ceiling. It's been a quiet day today. No problems with the boys or Jax. Once again I can't sleep though. I finally dozed off last night after hours of staring at the ceiling, and got about three hours of sleep. I thought for sure I would be able to sleep tonight, after not being able to last night, but it seems I was wrong. Every sound or creak throughout the house makes every muscle in my body tighten and I strain to listen, trying to make sure it's just one of those normal sounds houses make sometimes, and not someone inside the house with us. I look over at the clock and see its 11:23. The boys have been asleep for a couple hours now, and I wish I was too. The exhaustion is starting to get to me. I know if I do finally fall asleep I will only have nightmares. Before I left home my doctor gave me a prescription for sleeping pills, but I can't take them when it's just me and the boys because I won't wake up if one of them has a nightmare. I don't like them anyway. They don't keep the nightmares away. They only make it to where I can't wake up from them.

I'm torn from my thoughts as a terrible scream breaks through the quiet. I am off the bed and running before it's even ended. I sprint out of my room and across the hall to the boy's bedroom.

The sight that I'm met with breaks my heart all over again. Jason is sitting up in his bed covered in sweat, sobbing, with tears running down his face while Justin has his arms wrapped around his brother trying to calm him. I go and sit next to them, and pull Jason towards me. "Momma!" He starts sobbing even harder. I hold him in my arms, rocking him back and forth, and start singing to him. It always calms him eventually, but it usually takes ten to fifteen minutes before he starts to calm. I hear someone banging on the front door and know Jax must have heard the scream, and has come to see what's wrong. He is a cop after all. I look at Justin, "son, go answer the door and tell him we're all fine." I go back to singing to Jason before he's even stood up.

**********

### Jax

I walk out my front door behind Carson. It's late as hell, and we are both exhausted from a long day at work. We don't work together, but we both work long hours pretty often and they are definitely catching up with us tonight. We just finished watching the recording of the South Carolina/ Vanderbilt game. It was on two days ago but we missed it and just now had time to catch it tonight. I follow behind him dragging my feet. Even exhausted I feel that if someone's been at my house you should walk them out instead of just sending them for the door. "No offense, you know I love ya man, but I can't wait for you to leave so I can crash!" He chuckles at me. We are almost to his car when both our heads jerk around at the sound of a high pitch, terror filled scream.

"What the hell?"

We both take off running for Lexie's front door. Carson beats me by about two steps and has already tried the door knob. It's locked. Well that could be a good thing since obviously no one broke in through this door. There is always the back though. I step next to him and start banging on the door. I look at Carson, "if they don't answer in one minute I'm breaking this door down." He nods that he agrees. It's only a few seconds before one of the boys opens the door. He looks nervous when he sees me.

"Mom said to tell you we're all OK." I'd like to believe him but his voice shakes as he says it and I heard that scream. I know something is wrong. I scan him from head to toe. He's wearing transformer pajamas with bright red socks. His blond hair is all over the place like he just woke up, but his eyes are wide awake. After that scream I'm not surprised he's wide awake, but it looks like he's not the one that screamed. He seems unharmed. He also seems pretty calm, except that he seems unsettled by our presence, which isn't surprising.

"Look I don't know your name, but I can't just leave without checking to make sure everyone is OK. Can we come inside?"

He looks at me with reluctance. "My name's Justin, and we're fine. Mom told me to come down and tell you that. She didn't say to let you in. I don't know you and I can't let strangers in the house. I don't think my mom would want you inside." He starts to close the door, and I put my hand out to stop it.

"Who screamed?"

"My brother, Jason."

I hold back a sigh. I'm not leaving until I see for myself Lexie and the other boy are OK. I pull my badge off my belt, glad that it's still there from work, and hold it out. He takes it from me and looks at it. "I'm a cop Justin. My name is detective Jax Stephens. I heard someone scream and I really can't just leave without making sure everyone inside is OK. If you just let me in to check it out we'll leave. It's OK. To let a cop in to make sure everyone is OK. Right?"

He nods and opens the door wider to let us inside. "My Uncle Shawn is a detective too. He told us to always do what cops tell us to do. I don't think my mom is going to like this though. Yall being here is probably just going to scare Jason worse."

"Where are your mom and Jason?"

"Upstairs in our room, come on I'll show you." He takes off up the stairs. Carson closes the door, and we follow after Justin. He's standing at the top of the stairs waiting for us when we get to the top. He points to a bedroom door, and me and Carson approach cautiously. I wish I had my firearm in case something really is wrong and someone dangerous is in the house, but I took it off when I got home from work. Hopefully Carson has his.

As we near the open door I can hear someone singing softly and what sounds like someone sobbing. We walk through the doorway and I come to a dead stop. The first thing I notice is the very short black, cotton shorts and tight pink Tank top that Lexie is wearing, and my body responds immediately. She looks up and her eyes meet mine and grow round. They bounce back and forth between me and Carson a few times before they turn to Justin. She looks at my badge in his hand and I see her shoulders relax, but only marginally.

For the first time, I look to the boy in her arms and my chest tightens. I immediately feel bad for checking Lexie out when the kid is so distraught. Lexie is sitting on what I guess to be his bed, and he is sitting in her lap facing her with arms and legs wrapped around her body. He is sobbing so hard I'm not sure how he can breathe. I can only see one side of his face as his head lays on Lexie's shoulder, turned towards the wall, but I can see tears streaming down the side of his face that I can see. He hasn't noticed us yet and for the first time I'm slightly worried that we made the wrong choice coming inside. If Justin was right and we are going to make it worse maybe we should quietly step back out before he sees us. I'm not sure how he could get any more upset than he is right now.

Lexie is still singing softly and rocking back and forth as she keeps her scared eyes on me and Carson like she's worried we might attack at any moment. I look at Carson to see his eyebrows drawn down over his eyes as he looks at the boy on the bed with concern.

I'm about to touch his elbow and tilt my head towards the door so he knows I think we should leave when all hell breaks loose. I'm not sure if one of us maybe made a sound, but I didn't hear anything, or maybe he sensed they weren't alone anymore. Jason's head suddenly whips around and he looks right at us. He immediately starts to scream and his eyes never leave us as he clings harder to his mother. Me and Carson both take a step backwards and raise our hands in front of our chests as if to show him we don't mean any harm. I've never seen anyone as scared as this boy is right now. He starts to try and climb around his mother to get behind her when Justin jumps on the bed next to him and holds my badge up where he can see.

"Jason. Jason! He's a cop, look! He's a cop! It's okay!"

Jason's head swivels between the badge and us at least ten times before he stops screaming and starts sobbing again. Since he already knows we're here I decide to say something. I make my voice just loud enough to be heard over his sobbing. Maybe if I can get him to think and try to talk he will get distracted start to calm down. "Why did you scream, Jason? Are you hurt?" He shakes his head without looking at me. "Did you see someone in the house?" He shakes his head again. "Okay, well can you tell me what happened?"

"I.. I.. h.. had......."

"He had a nightmare." Justin speaks for him.

Me and Carson look at each other, and I can tell he's thinking the same thing that I am. This is an extreme reaction to a nightmare. He's still crying but his sobs are slowing down and it's more of a sniffling now.

"That must have been some nightmare." Carson speaks up. He nods.

"Want to tell me what it was about?" Lexie glares at me over his head, and I can't figure out what I did to make her mad. I look back to Jason and see he's looking at me now.

"The bad man came back." Jason whispers, and Lexie sighs.

I look at Carson again to see he now has a worried expression on his face. "Who is the bad man?" He asks.

Jason shrugs at him, "I don't know."

Well that makes no damn sense! How could he be this scared of someone without knowing who it is he's scared of? There goes the abusive ex-husband theory. Unless he just doesn't want to tell us.

"Is the bad man real or is he just in your dreams?"

"That's enough," Lexie snaps at us. "I really appreciate y'all coming to check on us when you heard the scream, but Jason is still upset and it's almost midnight. I'm going to move the boys in my room and try to get them to sleep for the night. You see no one is in any danger so there's no reason for all the questions. I'll walk y'all out. Justin come sit with your brother."

I feel my eyebrows raise at her tone of voice, I don't understand why she seems so pissed off. Justin climbs on the bed next to Jason and wraps an arm around his shoulders. Lexie storms past me and Carson and out the door into the hall. I follow behind her and my eyes automatically fall to her ass. Jesus Christ those shorts are tight, and they hug her ass perfectly. I curse under my breath and drag my eyes to the back of her head. I see Carson smirking at me from the corner of my eye. I flip him off. Asshole.

Lexie opens the door for us without saying a word and we walk onto the porch. I would ask what I did to piss her off, but that would make her think that I actually cared, and I really don't. I'm very curious about what's wrong with this family, but that's all it is. Just curiosity. Maybe if I tell myself that enough times I'll actually start to believe it.

"What the hell was that about?" I wonder out loud.

Carson sighs, "Not a clue, but that boy is definitely terrified of somebody. Question is who is it, and is he still around?"

"I'd like to know what the bad man did." I look back at the house. "Lexie sure as shit didn't want us to know anything."

Carson starts to climb into his black explorer but looks back at me, "Try not to be too nosy. Okay? Whatever that families problems are, they really aren't any of our business." I grunt in response. "Don't grunt at me. I'm serious. I, of all people, understand not wanting people to know your business."

He closes the door and turns the ignition before I can even respond. Well damn, that's the first time he's even hinted to the fact that he had secrets. I mean me and Dillon already knew that he did, but he's never mentioned them. Maybe he's getting closer to telling us what they are.
Chapter 5

### Jax

## October 25, 2011

Carson pulls his explorer into my driveway behind Dillon's mustang. I hate riding with Carson, his choice of music sucks. All the screaming is giving me a headache. We are all off work today after working six days straight, we decided to go eat lunch with Dillon's parents at their house since we were all free. I don't speak to any of my family thanks to Nicole, and Carson was Dillon's foster brother when we were teens, so Dillon's family is really all that any of us have. They're Dillon's biological parents, but they couldn't have any more kids after him, and they love children so they fostered a lot through the years. Carson was with them for two years before he aged out, but they let him stay and he became one of the family. With me and Dillon being friends for so long, I spent a lot of time at their house growing up. We all try to get by to see them at least a couple of times a month.

As we climb out of the SUV a school bus pulls to a stop in front of Lexie's house. I wasn't home yesterday to see the bus, the boys must have started at their new school this week. I haven't seen or talked to any of them in six days. Not since the night Jason had a nightmare. Well, except seeing the boys through one of my windows playing in their back yard. They seemed to be doing fine. They were acting like normal boys rolling through the yard wrestling, or throwing a ball back and forth.

One of the boys jumps off the bottom step and waves to us. That must be Justin, seems he's not scared anymore now that he knows I'm a cop. I lift my hand and wave back to him. Jason follows behind him but with a much different demeanor. His head is down as he looks at his feet and his shoulders are slumped with his hands stuffed deep in his pockets. He looks upset, or defeated. I don't know, but something is wrong.

"Hey boys! How's the new school going?"

Justin looks at me strangely, "It's OK. I guess. Don't really know anybody yet. Jason doesn't like it though." Jason just shrugs and keeps walking, never looking up. Actually it looked like he tucked his chin even tighter to his chest.

I make a snap decision to try and help the boy. He obviously doesn't have a dad in the picture and his uncles don't seem to live anywhere close by since I haven't seen them since the day after Lexie moved in. What does Lexie know about boy problems? "What's the matter with the new school Jason?"

He mumbles something as he passes by us that sounds a lot like "People are assholes." I see Dillon raise an eyebrow. I take it from Justin's wide eyed look at his brother that I'm right about what Jason said. I look at Carson who shrugs his shoulders at me. I see I'm not getting any help from him. I have no idea how to deal with kids. I've never been around any except when Dillon's family still fosters one for a little while and I usually avoid them unless I don't have a choice. Kids are a bad reminder of my past with Nicole, so I try to stay far away from them whenever possible.

"Why do u say that Jason?" He turns to look at me. "Who the hell did that?" I growl and Jason and Justin both take a step back away from me. I take a deep breathe to calm myself and see Dillon and Carson both giving me weird looks. I don't know where that sudden anger came from, but damn, if ever there was a kid that needed life to give them a break it's this one. He obviously had something traumatic happen in his past, he suffers from what seemed like horrible nightmares, he just moved away from his home to a new town, had to start a new school, and now he has a black eye. That's just bullshit! I soften my voice, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I was just upset that someone hit you. What happened?"

"Nothing happened I fell!"

"Sure you did buddy. Come over here will you?"

I squat down where I'm a couple inches shorter than him and wait. Both of the boy's heads tilt in identical ways and I try not to laugh. It's kind of crazy looking at them when they stand next to each other. I've never actually met twins before. Jason just stands there. "I'm not going to hurt you boy, come here. Get Justin to come with you if it makes you feel better." The boys look at each other for a few seconds, almost as if having a silent conversation before Justin walks closer to his brother and together they walk towards me.

When they stop in front of me I look Jason in the eye. "I'm going to reach out and grab your hand. I won't touch you anywhere else." He looks nervously at Justin before nodding. I reach out and grab his right wrist and pull his hand up in front of him. "Okay, now if the floor tries to kick your ass again, this is what I want you to do." Dillon snorts next to me but I ignore him and focus on Jason. I notice Justin is watching what I do closely. I ball Jason's hand into a fist with his thumb on the outside. "Make sure your thumb is on the outside when you make a fist. OK?" He nods again, the boy really doesn't talk much. Him and Carson should get along fine. Maybe it's just me he doesn't talk to though. "I want you to make sure his friends are around when you do this alright? If he-"

"The floor," Jason whispers.

"Right the floor. Well if the floor hits you again I want you to make a fist just like this, and punch him as hard as you can right here." I point to the bridge of my nose. "It'll make him cry every time. You make him cry in front of his friends and he won't mess with you anymore. Got it?" As soon as I got to the part about him crying Jason and Justin both started grinning at me.

"Hey what are y'all doing?"

We all spin around at the sound of Lexie's voice. I jump to my feet and stick my hands in my pockets. Both boys answer simultaneously, "Nothing," before running for the house.

Lexie looks at the three of us but none of us say anything. "Did Jason have a black eye? We all nod in response. "Did he tell y'all what happened?" We all shake our heads.

**********

### Lexie

I look at the three men and wonder what the hell is going on. A week ago the boys wanted to move they were so scared of this man, and now I come outside to find them talking to him and Jason even letting him touch him. I wish I would have been close enough to hear what they were saying. I watched them from the doorway for a minute and it's obvious he was teaching Jason how to make a fist and where to punch. I could have taught the boys that but they've never needed it before. Judging by Jason's eye they need it now.

From the way the guys are acting I'd guess that they think I'm going to be pissed when I find out what they were doing. Some women would be pissed off about teaching their children violence. I'm not one of those women. I try to hold back my smile. I grew up with two brother, and my older brothers best friend always around. I understand that bullies won't stop unless someone makes them, and I also know how to throw a punch with the best of them. The men have started shifting on their feet and I decide to put them out of their misery.

"I know what you were doing." I let them sweat for a couple seconds waiting to see if I start yelling at them before smiling at Jax. "Thanks for that. I should have already shown them how to throw a punch, but back home they never needed to know." They all look relieved.

Jax raises an eyebrow, "Where is back home?" I smirk and turn and walk inside my house without answering.

**********

A couple hours later there's a knock at the door, and I peek out the window to see Carson standing on my steps. I open the door and try to paste a smile on my face. I know he seems like a good guy, but that doesn't mean I want to be alone with him.

"What can I do for you?"

He looks embarrassed for some reason, "Can I see the boys for minute please?"

"Sure come on in," I open the door wider for him to enter even though I can feel panic starting to swell in my chest. As long as he doesn't come too close or touch me I should be fine. I'll be fine! I have to be, I have to start moving on at some point, and to do that I have to try and push through my fears. Today is as good a day as any to start trying. I yell for the boys to come downstairs.

When the boys come racing to us Carson gets down on his knees in front of them. They keep their distance but seem interested in finding out what he wants.

"Yall have seen me a few times but we haven't been introduced. My name is Carson Bailey." He holds his hand out for them to shake. They each step forward and shake his hand while telling him their names. Carson reaches into his pocket and pulls something out, I lean to the right to try and see what it is. I see the feathers, and my eyes immediately start to fill. He brought them a dream catcher.

"What is that?" Justin steps forward to get a closer look.

"Well buddy it's called a dream catcher. Some people believe that they catch bad dreams. They say that the web catches the bad dreams and lets the good dreams through the holes. A very wonderful man gave this one to me when I was a teenager to try to help with my bad dreams. I think maybe y'all need it more than I do now." he holds it out to Justin as I wipe the tears off my face. "Maybe y'all can hang it between your beds so it can work for both of you. If you each need your own though, let me know. I still know the man that gave that one to me, and I know he has a few more."

Justin hands it to Jason to look at, and Jason just stares at it silently for a few minutes. Finally he looks back up, "Did it help with your bad dreams?"

Carson hesitates, "Sometimes it did."

"Mom will you help me hang it up?"

I tell him to run upstairs and I'll be there in a minute. I wipe the last of the tears from my face as I turn back to Carson. He looks horrified to see that I'm crying. "What did I do? Why are you crying?" He reaches out and grabs me and pulls me to him. Even as I realize he is only trying to comfort me panic washes over me like a wave.

My heart starts beating so hard I can hear it in my ears and I can't breathe. Why can't I breathe? No matter how hard I try to pull in air I'm not getting any. I think I'm having a heart attack. Carson pulls back and looks at me and his eyes widen. "Take a deep breathe hold it and count to ten for me Lexie." I hear him and I know that I need to do what he says, but I can't get a breath, how am I supposed to hold one? I shake my head at him. It's not working! He grabs my shoulders. No don't touch me! I pull away from him and try to catch my breath. My thoughts are running so fast I can't even process them all. "STOP!" I meant to yell it in my head but I can tell from Carson's face that I yelled it out loud. Justin skids around the corner with my pill bottle in his hand, with Justin not far behind. He hands me the bottle and I fumble with the lid before Carson snatches it and hands me a pill. Jason runs back in the room with water and I swallow the pill and try to calm my thoughts. My hands and feet are tingling. I sit down on the floor with my back against the wall and focus on calming my heart. Even though I feel like I can't breathe I know I'm getting air or I would have passed out by now. I focus on that thought and let it start to calm me.

"There you go Lexie you're getting it under control. Now take a deep breath, count to ten and let it out." I close my eyes and lay my head against the wall and do as Carson says. In a couple minutes the attack starts to fade. I look up and see Carson and the boys staring at me. I choose to pretend Carson isn't here for the time being. God how embarrassing is this?

"I'm fine. It's over, now run back upstairs for me boys. I'll be there in a minute."

"He touched you didn't he?" Justin glares at him.

"He doesn't know I don't like to be touched Justin. He just tried to hug me because I was crying. I'm fine, now do as I say and run upstairs."

Reluctantly, the boys head back up the stairs leaving me to try and find a way to explain what just happened to Carson. He sits on the floor next to me with his back against the wall, but leaves two foot of space between us.

"You don't have to explain what happened. I already know, and I also know you're feeling really embarrassed right about now. Really I don't blame you because I would be too, but you don't have to be embarrassed with me."

"Why is that?"

The look on his face told me he was wondering how much to tell me. "Because I have panic attacks sometimes too. I have since I was a child. I used to have one every single time anyone touched me, but that stopped a long time ago. I still don't like being touched much, but I can handle when it happens now."

We sit in silence for a few minutes while I think about what he just told me. So he understands what the panic feels like. It is nice sitting next to someone who understands, even though we aren't talking about it, just knowing the person next to me knows what it feels like to feel that panic overwhelm your entire body and mind makes me feel a little bit better.

"I don't have one every time someone touches me. Just when someone I don't know touches me when I'm not expecting it. Are you going to tell anyone about this?"

He shakes his head at me, "I won't tell a soul."

I look at him and realize that he seems to be telling the truth. I think back to the dream catcher he brought the boys. That was such a sweet and thoughtful gesture. Then it hits me that this is a man I can trust. Out of all the men in the world the only ones I know I can trust for a fact are my family. Looks like today I added one more to that list.

"Do you want to talk about it? You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. It's none of my business. I just mean is there anything you need to say out loud to someone? I'll listen if you need to vent."

I look back at him and see that his usually hard sky blue eyes have softened, and I contemplate telling him everything. The whole long sordid story, but decide against it. I'm not ready to tell anyone yet. The only person I've ever talked to about what happened that night is Shawn. Maddie and Mason know what happened, but I wasn't the one who had to tell them.

"You want a beer?"

"Yeah sure."

I get up and grab us both a beer and sit back down on the floor beside him. I don't know why but I feel better talking here in the foyer where the door is close by in case I need to get some air. I think maybe he knows that and that's why he didn't try to get up while I went and got the beer. I think about where I could start. What's something that I really want to talk about that I haven't been able to say out loud before? Suddenly, with that thought, it just starts pouring out of me.

"Do you know what it feels like to walk down the street, or go inside a store and every single stranger's face makes you wonder, is that him? Every single man I see, I have to wonder if it might be him. Does that man want to hurt me? What about that one? Is he the one? Every man walking down the street, or driving in the car next to me or behind me, in the coffee shop, in the grocery store, at the gas station. Everywhere I go every man there is a possible threat. Can you even begin to imagine what that feels like?" He shakes his head. "You don't have kids so you can't understand this one either, but think about if you did have kids for just a minute. What if they saw something they never should have had to see in their lifetime, let alone at their age? How can I help them get past it? I can't. I am completely and utterly helpless to help my own children. I can't stop their fear of men or their nightmares. There is absolutely nothing I can do except hope and pray that it gets better and if it doesn't, then I'll take them to a professional, but there's nothing I can do for them and as a mother that hurts worse than any of the rest of it."

Carson has his head leaned against the wall turned to where he's staring at my cheeks, and I realize I have tears running down my face. How long have I been crying? "Anyway, I need to get upstairs to help the boys or they'll come back down." I chuckle through the tears.

He nods and stands up to leave, but stops. He pulls out a card and hands it to me. "If you need anything, or just want to talk here's my card. My cell's on the back." I take it and look at it. Carson Bailey at Bailey Security.

"You have a security company?" he nods. Well damn, that's definitely a friend you want to have if you have a psychotic stalker. "I definitely will call if I need you. Thank you Carson." He smiles and walks out the door.

I stop him on the porch. "Hey can I ask you something? I've been curious about something ever since the day I moved in."

"Shoot"

"Why does Jax seem to be pissed off at me almost every time I see him? I would ask if I did something, but he glared at me the first time I ever saw him so I know it's not something I did."

He grins before telling me, "It has nothing to do with you Lexie. Jax just doesn't like women."

I ponder over that as I close the door and lean against it. It figures a man that looks as hot as Jax would be gay.

**********

### Jax

Carson walks back inside and Dillon and I exchange looks of confusion. "Man I thought you left. You said you were going to grab something out of your truck, but you were gone forty-five minutes."

He shrugs at me as he opens my fridge and grabs a beer. "Ran into Lexie while I was out there."

"And you what? Stared at her for forty-five minutes?" Dillon snorts next to me.

"Nah, we just talked shit for a little while."

Hold the hell up. What? That makes no damn sense. Lexie seems to be almost as nervous around men as her sons are, except for the few times I caught her eyes lingering on me, but I refuse to even think about that. Plus, Carson is the least talkative person I know. What the hell could they have talked about? What the hell is going on? Does he like Lexie? A growl comes from deep in my chest and the asshole actually smirks at me before plopping down on the couch to watch TV. Where the hell did that come from? Why did I just growl like that without even meaning to? That's never happened before, and I push it out of my head before I can think too much about it. "So, what did you talk about?"

He shrugs, the asshole sure does shrug a lot! "Oh you know. A little bit of this, a little bit of that. No big deal." I glare at him as I get up and stomp into the kitchen to grab another beer. When I drop back down into my recliner I notice Dillon's shoulders shaking with quiet laughter.

"What the hell is your problem?"

"Jealousy does not look good on you my friend."

"I'm not jealous! I'm just curious that's all." they both grunt in response.

I'm not jealous! Am I? I don't know what the hell I am, but I know I'm not jealous. Not at all! I don't get jealous over woman, hell I don't even like women anymore. Can't stand them. I'm not jealous, Lexie can do whatever the hell she wants to.

Then why does the thought of Lexie with Carson make me want to puke?
Chapter 6

### Jax

## November 6, 2011

Me and the guys are sitting on the front porch talking shit, and waiting for Dillon's parents to get here. We're all having dinner at my house tonight. By dinner I mean we're all getting together and ordering pizza. I can't cook for shit. As we talk about our week at work, a dark gray suburban pulls into Lexie's driveway. I haven't talked to her or the boys in two weeks. Not since I showed Jason how to make a fist and where to hit the bully. I catch myself looking out my window much more often than usual hoping to catch a glimpse of her. I will never admit that out loud though. We all turn to see who gets out of the large SUV. Maddie and Mason climb out of the front just as the front door opens and Lexie steps out.

"Y'all are here just in time to surprise the boys! They'll be getting off the bus in about fifteen minutes. They won't be here long though. Y'all can spend time with them tomorrow. They're spending the night with a friend tonight. They should be picking them up in a couple hours." She throws her arms in the air, "Can you say adult night?" She yells the end of that sentence and starts jumping around. I can't help but smile at how carefree she seems to be feeling today. I don't think she realizes we're outside watching. "God, how long has it been since we had a kid's free night together?"

Mason grins, "About two years. Hell yeah! I'm totally getting you drunk tonight." He walks to the passenger side of the car and the three of them hug. I see movement out of the corner of my eye and look over. What the hell? Two other men and a woman are crouched down getting out of the back driver's side door while mason has Lexie distracted on the passenger side. Who the hell is that? The blond headed one walks to the front of the car, Lexie still hasn't seen him.

"You got room for all of us to spend the weekend?"

Lexie whirls around and lets out a high pitch scream as the hurls herself at the man, and almost tackles him to the ground. They turn just enough for me to catch a glimpse of his face and I realize this is her other brother, Shawn. He strongly resembles Mason and Maddie, but he is broader than mason, and his facial features are a little different but close enough to know they're related. She sees the other man and woman by the car and the two women start jumping up and down doing that squeal thing women do when they're way too excited. Me, Dillon, and Carson all chuckle quietly. The last man stands back with his hands in his pockets grinning at the pair. This one is not related to them. Unless he's a cousin or something. Lexie hasn't mentioned any other siblings before besides Maddie, Mason, and Shawn. Besides, this guy has short cropped black hair and his complexion is much darker than the siblings. Lexie turns to him and throws her arms around his neck as he picks her up and spins her around and I almost come up out of my chair before I catch myself. Who the hell is this guy? Is this her boyfriend from back home? Does she have a boyfriend from back home? How the hell do I not know that, and why do I care? I don't. I don't care, I remind myself once again.

The Johnson's blue Honda civic pulls into my driveway, and the three of us stand up. Maddie and Mason wave so we wave back. Shawn is giving us all an assessing stare. Lexie's cheeks have turned bright red.

"Y'all have been sitting there the whole time haven't you?" We all grin and nod at her.

"Hey Jax, caught any paintballs lately?" I glare over at Mason before chuckling and shaking my head. Dillon bursts out laughing.

"Man that was the funniest shit I've seen in a long time!" Mason and Maddie start laughing with him while I cross my arms over my chest. "God y'all only saw the aftermath! I wish y'all could have seen his face when he realized what was happening!"

Shawn looks around confused, "What are y'all talking about?"

Lexie shakes her head laughing, "I'll tell you later."

Just as the Johnson's open their doors and start to climb out the school bus comes around the corner. As soon as the door opens both boys come barreling out and straight at Shawn. He gets down on his knees and lets them tackle him to the ground, and they roll around for a couple seconds while we all watch. They jump up and run to Maddie and Mason hugging them both at once. Then they both hug the woman at the same time. They both run to the other man that I don't know yet and throw themselves at him. He laughs and picks them up spinning them around just like he did Lexie. When he puts them down the boys look over at us.

Justin runs over and throws his arms around Carson's middle, and everyone freezes in shock. Carson puts his arms around the boy, and I hear Mrs. Johnson's gasp, and barely hold back my own. Carson doesn't hug anyone. Not even Mr. and Mrs. Johnson. I look up at Lexie and she has a hand covering her mouth as she watches her son. Carson looks confused as to why he's being hugged, but doesn't seem to be really bothered by it. "Thank you, Carson." Jason walks up behind Justin but doesn't go for a hug. He looks up at Carson through his lashes, "Yeah. Thank you Carson, It's worked so far." he even gives a little smile.

As Justin pulls back Carson drops down on one knee and smiles at them, "I'm glad it's helping, Jason."

"I haven't had one in almost two weeks. It usually happens at least once a week, but it hasn't happened" he whispers, but we can all hear him. Him and Justin turn and run in the house while we all stand there wondering what the hell just happened.

As Carson stands back up Lexie walks up to him and puts a hand on his arm as she leans up and whispers something in his ear. He smiles at her and nods his head, and she turns around and walks to her house with her family following. I glare at Carson, "Just a little bit of this and a little bit of that huh?" He smirks at me, turns on his heel and jogs up the steps and into my house.

Me and Dillon turn to each other, "What the hell was that?" we ask at the same time.

**********

### Lexie

It takes all of my willpower not to cry when I see Justin hug Carson. He finally seems to be almost completely over what happened almost three months ago. Now if only Jason could make as much progress as his twin. Since he actually saw me being stabbed I don't know if he will ever get back to the little boy he was last year. I'm actually surprised Justin has so quickly. He seems to be getting back to his normal self with every day that passes. He only walked in my room after it was over, but that visual was more than enough to traumatize any child. I was naked and there was blood everywhere. I had over twenty cuts across my chest and abdomen besides the stab wound in my side. I'm considering calling a therapist for Jason. I have no idea what I can do to help him, but maybe a therapist can make some progress and bring my little boy back. His nightmares have gotten better in the last couple weeks, but I still see the fear in his eyes more times than not.

I hear Jason whisper," I haven't had one in almost two weeks. It usually happens at least once a week, but it hasn't happened." As the boys run into the house I walk over to Carson and lay my hand on his arm as I stretch to whisper in his ear. "I have no idea how to thank you Carson, so I'll make you the same offer you made me. If you ever want to talk you know where to find me." He smiles at me and nods before I turn and head into the house behind the boys with my brothers and sisters following behind me.

**********

A few hours later we all sit on my back patio having a drink while we all laugh and talk. I sit back and look at all of them. God I've missed everyone. I've only been gone about a month, but a month before that I was in the hospital then the safe house, and we couldn't get together like this. Before the attack, I barely left Shawn's house except for work for about a month and we were all waiting to see what happened next so we couldn't let loose and have a drink and have fun like this. I can't get over how happy and almost carefree I feel surrounded by my family. I haven't felt like this in almost a year. Sure the fear is still there, but for this one night it's on the back burner as I push it aside and enjoy just being with the people I love. We are sitting around my patio furniture which is a round black metal table with a glass top, and four chairs. It's a little complicated with six of us, but we made it work. I sit with my back against the house so I can scan the yard for any threats whenever I feel the need. Mason sits in the chair to my right while Maddie perches on the arm of his chair. Shawn sits to my left with his wife, Jessica, sitting in his lap. Directly across from me is Tyler Masterson.

Tyler is my brother, but he's not really my brother. He's been Shawn's best friend since middle school, and practically lived at our house during the school years. During the summer his father made him help at the family construction business, Masterson Construction. Tyler owns and runs the company now. As much time as he spent at our house as kids he became one of the family a long time ago so while we aren't related by blood we all look at him as a big brother. Our parents felt the same way and considered him one of their own. It's great seeing him, I haven't seen him since I was in the hospital and they all camped out in my room. I tell him so and he grins at me. "Yeah it's good to see you too Lexie, it's been way too long. You seem to be doing better." We chat about my life since I moved here until we're interrupted by Maddie.

"Hey you guys! Come on over and join us."

I turn to see Jax, Carson, and Dillon, along with the older couple walking out the back door. Dillon gets a huge smile on his face. "Sure thing, beautiful."

I look at Jax to find him looking at me as though asking permission. I smile at him and nod, "Yall might want to bring some chairs. We're a little short already."

He gives me a small smile as all three guys grab two chairs and head our way with the older couple leading the way. the man looks over all of us. "We don't want to interrupt your night. Yall young people seem to be having a good time. we won't stay long."

I smile at man who looks to be in his late 50's him and his wife have walked ahead of the guys, "Yall stay as long as you like it's no problem. We're just sitting around talking, and having a couple drinks. Would y'all like anything?" they both shake their heads at me. I notice the man looks a lot like Dillon but older with salt and pepper hair. He has the same gray eyes as Dillon. His wife has Beautiful light brown hair the same color as Dillon's, but her eyes are blue. These must be his parents. I think back to when he first introduced himself. What was his last name again? "I'm guessing y'all are Mr. and Mrs. Johnson?" they smile at me and nod. "My name is Lexie Evans," I hold my hand out to shake theirs. I point to everyone at the table and introduce them.

The guys walk up with the chairs and start putting them around the table, "Guys y'all already met Maddie and Mason. This is my older brother Shawn and his wife Jessica, and across from me is our brother from another mother, Tyler."

Somehow I end up sitting with Jax to my right and Carson to my left. I'm a little uncomfortable but the alcohol is helping. I'm on my second pina colada tonight and I'm not really a drinker. "If y'all want a drink there's plenty in the fridge. We've got beer, soda, and sweet tea." Carson smirks at me, "What? That doesn't look like beer, soda, or sweat tea you're drinking there. What's the deal? I can't have a pina colada?" I giggle at the thought of mean looking Carson sipping on a pina colada, "Sure Carson you go right ahead!"

I sit back and watch everyone around me for a minute. Dillon is sitting to Shawn's left between Shawn and his parents. Jax is between me and Shawn. They are all talking about cop stuff so I tune them out. Maddie, Mason, and Tyler are talking with Mr. and Mrs. Johnson. Carson is just sitting back watching like I am. My eyes are drawn to Jax, he really is gorgeous. I let my eyes scan him freely for the first time since we met. He's wearing jeans and a long sleeve gray Henley today. The shirt hugs to his arms and his trim waist. His black hair's a mess from running his hands through it. I wish he would look this way so I could see his eyes. It's his bright green eyes that always draw my attention. Every time I look him in the eyes I'm shocked all over again by how green they are. It really is too bad he's gay. Carson kicks me under the table.

"What the hell was that for?" I say a little too loudly. Everyone stops and looks at me and Carson. He clears his throat and looks like he's trying hard to restrain a laugh.

"What? I don't know what you're talking about."

I lean towards him and try to whisper, but I don't think it really works, it is way too loud to be considered a whisper. "Yeah, sure you don't butt head."

He barks out a laugh, "butt head? Really? That's the best you can come up with?"

"Whatever I'm going to get another drink." I stand up to go get a refill when Carson stands as well. "I'll come with you. I need to talk to you about something."

Shawn and Mason both start to stand. "I don't think that's a good idea," Shawn says to Carson. I know what they're thinking, they're worried about me having a panic attack from being alone with him. They don't know about the night in the foyer a couple weeks ago. They also don't know that I decided Carson was safe that night. I don't feel intimidated by him anymore, I see him as a new big brother, as if I need anymore.

"He's fine. Come on, Car." He chuckles at the new nickname I gave him, and follows me through the sliding glass door into the house.

"You're drunk aren't you Lexie?"

"Just a little buzz. I've only had two Pina coladas but I don't drink often and haven't eaten. I'll grab something while we're in here. Do me a favor and holler out the door and see if anyone else wants me to bring them something to eat will ya?"

He comes back in saying no one else wants anything while I'm rummaging through the cabinets to see what all I've got. "Ah-ha!" I see what I was hoping to find. "They might have said they didn't want anything, but my brothers are about to change their mind. You hungry Carson?" He shrugs at me.

I grab a couple bags of chicken wings from the freezer and put them in water to thaw before getting a beer and jumping up to sit on the counter. I look to Carson and pat the counter next to me and he comes over and hops up beside me.

"So what did you want to talk to me about?"

He looks confused for a second, "Oh, I was just going to tell you that you might want to switch to something a little weaker."

"I'm not even drunk! Just buzzed enough to relax me a little bit."

"Yeah relax you a little bit too much. I kicked you to get your attention. You were staring at Jax like he was something to eat and you were starving. I kicked you before anyone else noticed. You're welcome." I start to deny it, but there's no point. He saw me, so lying won't do any good. Before I can respond the door slides open again, and Jax and Dillon walk in.

Jax looks at me, "You mind if we grab a couple of your beers?" I shake my head in response and watch him walk to the fridge. As he bends to grab a beer my eyes fall to his ass, and damn it's a nice ass! Carson elbows me and I jerk my eyes up to find Dillon looking right at me with a huge grin on his face. I can actually feel my cheeks get hot. Carson knowing I'm checking Jax out is one thing. I've already claimed him as my brother, but I've never even had a real conversation with Dillon since being introduced and him catching me is just embarrassing. I go to take a swig of beer only to find it's empty. What the hell? I just got this beer.

I look over at Carson, "Did you drink my beer, asshole?"

He bursts out laughing and shakes his head, " It's been in your hands the whole time Lexie, How would I drink it? I'm cutting you off. You'll thank me in the morning."

I ask Jax to toss me one and as he complies I turn toward Carson, "There's one thing you're forgetting, Car. You're in my house." I give him a stupid grin and stick my tongue out at him like a five year old as he rolls his eyes at me.

I jump off the counter and dry the chicken wing sections before throwing them in the fryer and hop back up next to Carson. I get a little dizzy jumping up and Carson grabs my arm to steady me. His eyes get huge when he realizes he grabbed me, like he's scared of my reaction. I give it a second to see what happens and am happy to see that I don't feel any panic or fear when it comes to Carson anymore. "No worries, I won't freak out on you again." I lay my head on his shoulder. "I decided a couple weeks ago you're my new big brother, and my brothers don't scare me."

I look up to see Jax and Dillon look at each other with confusion. Damn the alcohol is getting to me. I forgot they were still in the room with us. My eyes scan Jax from head to toe and back again, and when I reach his eyes he's looking right at me. Damn, busted! He doesn't call me on it though. He just raises an eyebrow at me. "It really is too bad you're gay." His eyes double in size and Carson starts choking on his beer next to me.

"What did I say wrong?"

Jax looks at me with disbelief, "What makes you think I'm gay?" Carson is still coughing and spluttering next to so I start hitting him on the back while I look back at Jax. "Carson told me." At this point Dillon loses it and roars with laughter, and Carson starts shaking his head wildly.

He finally collects himself, "I did not!"

"Yes you did! When I asked you why he seemed to have a problem with me you said and I quote, "It has nothing to do with you Lexie. Jax just doesn't like women."

"I didn't mean for you to think he was gay!"

"Well what the hell was I supposed to think? There are two kinds of men! Men who like women, and men who don't like women. If you don't like women there's only one other option dumb ass."

At this point Dillon has tears running down his face he's laughing so hard. Jax is glaring at Carson while Carson looks like he's trying hard not to laugh. The laugh bursts out of him, and I can't help it, I start laughing with them. Jax turns and storm out of the kitchen. I pull the chicken from the fryer and put them on paper towels to drain before going back outside to see how mad Jax is. Only he's not there. Everyone else is talking and laughing, but he's gone. He must have went to his house. Well damn that probably means he's really pissed. I can't imagine a man taking it well when someone accuses him of being gay. I turn around to face Carson as he stands behind me. "Do me a favor. From now on be a little more clear."

"Hey what happened to Jax? He went in to grab a beer and when he came back out he looked pissed, and left without saying anything." I look at Shawn and just shake my head.

Mr. Johnson speaks up, "Is everything okay?"

Dillon sits down next to him still chuckling, "Yeah everything's fine dad. Lexie just pretty much accused him of being gay so he went home." The asshole bursts out laughing all over again. Maddie spits beer across the table, and looks at me in disbelief. "Why the hell would you think that man's gay?"

"Because Carson told me he was."

"No I didn't! She just misunderstood something I said."

As everyone around the table chuckles and goes back to talking and having fun I look over at Jax's house. I feel kind of bad. I shouldn't have laughed with Carson and Dillon. I guess I did misunderstand Carson, and while everyone here is having fun he's sitting alone at his house because of something I said. Maybe I should go apologize and try to get him to come back?

**********

### Jax

I've been called a lot of things in my life, but gay was never one of them. Until tonight. What the hell was that? She actually thought I was gay? I snort. Here I've been trying everything I can to get the woman out of my head and she's thinking I'm gay. I shake my head as I pace back and forth across my living room.

And what the hell is up with Lexie and Carson? What happened that night a couple weeks ago? What made her go from uncomfortable around us to laying her head on his shoulder tonight? Was it just the alcohol? Is she into Carson? I don't think so, I mean she called him her brother so she isn't into him. And why did Carson seem to be fine with it all? He's always been weird about getting close to people, and being touched. It took me and Dillon almost a year to get the guy to trust us and hang out with us. How the hell did she do it in a week? All the sudden he's OK. With someone touching him. What the hell is that about?

There's a knock on my front door. I hope that's Carson or Dillon so I can punch them in the face. Truthfully, I don't really blame them. If someone had called Dillon gay I would have been laying down on the floor holding my stomach I was laughing so hard. Doesn't mean it's funny when it happens to me. It's one of those things that's only funny when it happens to someone else.

I sigh as I swing the door open. I'm shocked to find Lexie standing on my porch. I scan her body and don't try to hide it this time. I will not be with her. Hell I won't even get close enough to be her friend. That doesn't mean I can't look though. She's in tight distressed blue jeans and a black zip up hoodie that has university of Alabama football across the chest. She has her hands in the pockets of the hoodie, her dark brown hair is doing this adorable flippy thing at the ends around her ears. Her midnight blue eyes meet mine, "I'm sorry, Jax. I shouldn't have laughed. It really wasn't funny, and I was laughing more at Dillon and Carson than at you. I've had a little too much to drink and I couldn't help it when they were laughing so hard." She pauses for a second and takes a deep breath, "Will you come back?"

"Why?"

She shrugs and looks away before looking back, "I don't know why, but I want you to."

My eyes drop to her mouth as she licks her lips. Before I even realize what's going on, or give my hands permission to move I have grabbed the front of her hoodie and pulled her to me. I kick the door shut and push her against it as my mouth crashes down on hers. She freezes for a couple seconds, but as I run my tongue along the seam of her lips she leans into me and opens. We both moan as my tongue brushes hers for the first time, and she arches into me. I reach down and grab her ass and lift. She wraps her legs around my waist and her arms around my head. Her hands go into my hair at the back of my head, and give a little pull as she moans again. I keep one hand on her ass and run the other up her side.

Laughter outside breaks through the moment and we both jerk back. I almost drop her in my rush to get her out of my arms and away from me.

She clears her throat and runs her hand through her short hair as she looks at the floor. I wish she would just leave. God I hope she doesn't try to talk about it. That was a mistake that I didn't mean to happen, and it won't happen again. My body and mind are waging a war against each other. Out of the corner of my eye I see her reach up and touch her lips and my dick jerks knowing she's thinking about my lips against hers. I curse under my breath and walk into the kitchen to get another beer and calm myself down. As I open the fridge, I hear my front door open and close softly. I'm not sure if I'm happy she left without trying to talk about it or if I'm disappointed that she didn't follow me to the kitchen and force me to talk to her. I turn the beer up and chug the whole can.
Chapter 7

### Lexi

## November 12, 2011

I sit straight up in bed trying to catch my breath. Damn, another nightmare! Maybe I should talk to Carson about getting me one of them dream catchers. I chuckle at my own thoughts. As if anything but your mind can control your dreams. I felt like someone was watching me sleep again, but that happens every couple of weeks. I look over at the clock and sigh, its 4:25 in the morning.

After five to ten minutes my heart and breathing have both calmed back to normal and I switch on my bedside lamp and lay back and stare at the ceiling. I should have a ceiling fan put in as many hours as I spend a week looking at the ceiling above my bed. Then at least I would have something to watch while I lay here.

As I relax, my mind drifts back to the kiss as it often has over the last six days. I don't understand why I responded to the kiss the way I did. If anybody else grabbed me like that I would have went into a major panic attack just like I did the first time Carson grabbed me. Good lord I was ready to tear the man's clothes off right there. It doesn't make any sense for me to feel that way after what happened. I thought I would never feel desire again, but here I am, wishing Jax wasn't avoiding me and would kiss me again.

Is there something wrong with me? What other possible explanation is there for me feeling desire for a man only a couple months after being raped. I can't wrap my head around how that's even possible. I mean look at how I reacted to Carson just trying hug me a little over two weeks ago. But only a week and a half later I was happily pinned against a door by Jax, and thoroughly enjoying myself. Hell maybe I'm the one who needs to see a therapist instead of Jason. I would try to blame it on the alcohol if I didn't wish it would happen again every time. I relive it.

I pull myself from my thoughts and roll out of bed. There is no way I'm getting back to sleep. I go into the bathroom and pull my shirt over my head. I turn towards the mirror and almost laugh at the thought of being with a man. What would he say or think when he pulled my shirt off? I step closer to the mirror and examine the twenty four scars that criss cross my chest and stomach. They are long but weren't too deep. The one from when he stabbed me in my side is much smaller. The rest are at least six to seven inches long each, criss crossing each other like some twisted tic-tac-toe board on my body.

The doctor hopes that they will eventually fade enough that they'll be less noticeable. I almost laugh again. How the hell could someone not notice these no matter how much they fade? For now they are still pink except the one on my side which is an angry red color. If I can barely stand to look at myself in the mirror how can I expect anyone else to want to look at me? I turn away from my reflection and step into the shower, and choose to pretend the tears falling from my eyes are just water.

**********

### Jax

"Fuck this!"

I sling the covers off me, and smack the wall as I walk by into the bathroom. I undress and step into the shower. I haven't slept for shit in six days. I've been working my ass off on a case at work trying to stop a string of break in's in one of our upper class neighborhoods. All I can seem to think about for the last six days is pinning Lexie against my front door again. The guys are starting to realize something is going on, but I don't think they've figured out it has to do with Lexie yet. Then again maybe they have, I don't have a clue and don't really care at this point.

I have no idea what to do. I refuse to get close to her. Why? So I can get my heart broken again? It doesn't help how close she seems to have gotten with Carson. That just makes me even more convinced I'm making the right decision. He goes over to at least say hello to her every time. He comes over which is usually almost every day. My house has always been central station of our friendship. Carson and Dillon both are always in and out all the time. It doesn't really matter to me, it keeps the quiet and emptiness of the house from getting to me.

This not sleeping worth a damn is starting to get to me. When I do sleep, most of the time I dream of what might have happened last week had we not been reminded of everyone outside. How far would we have gone? Part of me is pissed that I have that little control over myself, but another part of me that seems to be getting louder and louder everyday really wishes we wouldn't have been interrupted so I would know. Every time I have the dream, which changes pretty often and has a lot of variations of what would have happened next, I wake up with a raging hard on that won't allow me to go back to sleep. Last night I actually had a mother fuckin wet dream for the first time since I was seventeen. I've reverted to being a teenager for God's sake!

What the fuck is wrong with me? Why is she having this effect on me? No other woman ever has. I haven't even looked twice at a woman in four years, let alone thought about one. Why her? I never even lusted after Nicole this bad, and that's what this is. Its lust, and nothing more.

"Fuck it," I growl and reach down and grip myself as I picture Lexie's beautiful face, Lips that are the softest that I've ever felt, and her midnight blue eyes looking at me with lust like they did last week.

**********

### Lexie

I step out of the shower and reach for my towel I always hang on the rod to my left only to feel air. I freeze, where did the towel go? Was it there when I got in? I can't remember. I must have forgotten to hang it up. Yeah that's what it is. But as I look to my bathroom sink I see my tooth brush isn't in its holder. Oh my god! This is exactly how it started last time. Little things just moved around. Just enough to make me wonder was I going crazy or was someone messing with my things inside my home.

One thing out of place means nothing, but two in the same day and I can already feel the panic taking hold. I run into my room and throw on a pair of sweats and a hoody before running downstairs to see if anything else isn't in its place. Please god let me be wrong! There's no way that he found me! How could he find me? I even changed my name, and stopped working as a nurse. Even with the name change, I only pay for things in cash. Shawn sends me cash out of my accounts when I start getting low. I peek into the boy's room to see they are still asleep and head downstairs.

Nothing seems out of place in the living room. So I head into the kitchen, and start opening cabinets. I take a deep breath as I see the coffee in the wrong cabinet. No big deal someone could have put it in the wrong cabinet. It's not a big deal. Until I turn around and see my coffee pot has been unplugged and moved to a different counter and plugged back in. I start to cry. The mother fucker has found me and was inside my house. He wants me to know he's here. I sit down on the floor and cry for a few minutes.

After I get it out of my system I wipe my face and pull myself up. I grab my phone and punch in a number I hoped I wouldn't need. "Hello?" It's obvious from his voice that I woke him up. I look at the clock to see it's still only 4:52.

"Hey Carson it's Lexie." I hear my own voice shake so I know he hears it too. "I know your company provides private body guards and stuff, but do you also deal with security systems?"

"Yeah we deal with the best of the best. Why? What's going on?"

"Is there any way you can please fit me in your schedule as soon as possible to get a system put in my house? Money isn't an issue."

I hear one of my sons scream from somewhere downstairs, and drop the phone and run. I find Justin in the foyer looking at the floor. I step around him and almost fall to my knees. On the foyer floor, right inside the front door lays a single red carnation. I'm not just being paranoid. I was right. He's found me. I pull Justin to me only to realize Jason is sitting on the floor in the corner with his face to his knees crying quietly. They know as well as I do what that particular flower means. He was in our house while we slept. I sit on the floor next to Jason and pull Justin down on my other side putting an arm around each of them. I wish I could pick Jason up and carry him to the living room, but my ribs are still too sore to pick up a nine year old boy. Hell I'm not sure I even could pick him up without the broken ribs. Someone bangs on the door and we all jump, and Jason screams again. I look out the window and then open the door. Carson pushes past me, "What's going on? I heard someone scream over the phone then you were gone."

I close the door and wonder how much to tell him. Before I can decide, someone is banging on my door again. We all jump again, but this time Jason only makes a little squeal sound instead of screaming. Carson step in front of me to open the door still not knowing what's wrong. Jax storms in. "What's wrong?"

"Did you hear a scream again?"

He looks confused, "No, I saw Carson running across the yard to get to the door and knew something was wrong."

Jason's head jerks up when he hears Jax, and he jumps up and throws himself at him. We're all shocked, but I don't think any of us are as surprised as Jax himself. He seems unsure what to do at first, but after a few seconds he reaches down and picks Jason up. He wraps his arms around Jax's neck and starts crying again.

I whisper to Justin, "You know what that's about?"

He nods, "He likes Jax ever since he helped him with the bully. Jason did what Jax told him to, and it worked. He made Bobby cry in front of all of his friends. Nobody messes with Jason anymore."

I turn back to the guys, "Okay let go in the living room. It's getting crowded in the foyer. Justin go get me the phone."

As we all sit down in the living room, Jax next to me with Jason still wrapped around him, and Carson diagonal to us on the loveseat. Justin climbs onto my lap and I wrap an arm around him.

Jax looks at me, "What's going on?"

I hear Jason whisper to him, "The bad man's back."

Carson starts to ask a question but I hold my hand up to stop him. I dial Shawn's number and wait. He answers on the second ring.

"Hey sis, miss me already?"

"He's found us."

There's silence for a few beats before he starts cursing, loudly.

"How do you know? What happened? Are you and the boys okay?"

I look over at Jax and then Carson. They're both staring at me. Jason has started crying harder like I just confirmed it for him. "We're fine. He obviously didn't plan to hurt anybody this time." I pause, "He was in the fuckin house while we slept Shawn." I feel Jax go stiff next to me, and Carson sits up straighter. I tell Shawn everything that happened this morning and that Jax and Carson are here with me. He tells me to put him on speaker so I hit the button and lay the phone down.

"Carson can you help me out?"

"Yeah Shawn whatever y'all need."

"Is there any way you can get that system installed today? Up and running before they go to sleep tonight?"

"No but I can have it up and running by tomorrow."

"Okay Lindsie," Jax and Carson both jerk their heads towards me when Shawn slips up and uses my real name. "You and the boys need to find a place to sleep tonight then. You can't stay in that house again without security."

"They can stay with me." I shake my head at Jax.

"No, I don't think that's a good idea." No way can I stay in the house with Jax overnight and stay sane.

"Actually I think it's a great idea. You and the boys will be with a detective."

I glare at the phone even though he can't see me, "Yeah well I was..." I stop myself before I finish. I hear Shawn suck in a quick breath.

"Go ahead and say it. I already know what you were going to say. Might as well say it."

"No I won't finish it because I didn't mean anything by it. Nothing was your fault."

"Whatever you say. Jax you should know so you're prepared. I had moved her and the boys in with me about a year ago. He got to her even in my house. So if they're going to stay with you, you need to stay on your toes and be ready."

"Alright but we have no idea who to look for or what's going on. Can someone tell us so we know what we're up against? Is this some abusive ex-husband? The boy's dad? Who am I looking for?"

Justin sits up on my lap and looks at Jax, "We don't have a dad."

I sigh and hug him to me as Shawn responds to Jax's question. "Lexie will explain everything. I don't have time right now. I have to get things moving on my end. For now the best thing to do is get that alarm system installed and make sure he can't get in that house with them. I've got to go talk to my boss and let him know what's happened with the case. I'll call you in a few hours Lexie. I love you."

I respond in kind and hang up the phone and just stare at it for a moment. I really don't want to tell them this story, but it looks like I don't have a choice. Now that he's found me I need all the help I can get.

"So what's going on?"

Justin turns his body toward Jax, "A bad man is going to hurt momma again."

"I can tell you most of it right now, the boys know a lot of it already, but parts are going to have to wait until they're calmed down some and either asleep or playing somewhere."

I take a deep breathe, "I'm just going to start at the beginning and go from there. This spans years so just bare with me for a few minutes and let me get it all out." I look at Jax and Carson and they both nod. Jason has his face pressed into Jax's neck while he rubs his back, and I wonder if he's fallen asleep since he's so quiet. I doubt he can sleep right now though. "Oh shit I forgot." I pull my phone back out and text Mason to have a prescription sent here for the boys of the meds the doctor gave the in the first week after my attack to help them sleep.

"Okay, when I was twenty-two my parents were killed in a car wreck. My father had called me saying he needed to talk to me about something and they were coming over. They never made it because their brake lines were cut." I go on to tell them about the flowers the next day, and the ones left on my porch for years after that.

"Last year they were left inside my house. I woke up and they were on my kitchen counter this time. I called Shawn immediately and told him about the flowers through the years and he moved us into his house the next day to protect me. He was convinced I had a stalker and thought that maybe he killed our parents. The cops never found out who cut the brake lines. The carnation is a flower of apology, and since they started the day after the wreck Shawn was convinced he was right. I didn't believe him. Why would anyone want to follow and watch me? Until Shawn had the house searched after we moved out and found cameras hidden, everywhere."

"If he killed our parents he had to be already stalking me before that or why target my parents? Someone had been watching me in my own home for at least 6 years, maybe longer." I have to pause for a minute before I get to this next part. The living room is so quiet you could hear a pin drop so I continue so I can get it out as fast as possible "anyway, for the first five months I was terrified. I barely left Shawn's house except to go to work at the hospital, I was a nurse in the emergency room. Everything was quiet, nothing happened, no evidence on who put the cameras in my house. I started to feel better. Maybe he moved on and left me alone. A few months later in August a doctor from the hospital asked me on a date. I didn't think anything about it. I hadn't went on a date since college. Too busy with the boys and school and then work so I accepted. Then everything changed."

I pause again to collect myself. This next part is the hardest. Carson looks at me with worry, "Your stalker got mad." It wasn't a question, but I answer anyway with a nod. Silent tears run down my face and I hear Jason start crying again as well. He crawls off Jax and over to me. I wrap my arm around him and pull him close.

"Can y'all go to yall's room for just a little while please? You can play or watch TV. Or whatever I don't care. Justin take care of your brother." He nods and grabs Jason's hand and pulls him from the room. They don't need to hear this part, they lived through a lot of it. I wish they didn't know any of it.

"Turns out he didn't like me going on a date at all. I had a nice evening out with the doctor. Nothing happened really, he barely kissed me goodbye at the door, but it was enough to piss him off. The next morning all four of my tires were slashed. The day after I got it back from the shop he carved the word slut into the paint on the hood. A few days later he threw a brick through the front window of Shawn's house while me, Jessica, and the boys were in the room. I got about a hundred hang up calls a day from an untraceable prepaid cell phone. But all this was just building up to his big finale." I feel Jax stiffen next to me. Carson moves from the loveseat to sit on my other side and grabs my hand. I give it a squeeze in silent thanks.

"Stuff like that went on for two weeks. Until one night Shawn was called in to work in the middle of the night for a murder investigation. I woke up to him tying my right hand to the bed. He had already tied my feet and wrapped a gag around my head, and when I woke up he worked it into my mouth so I couldn't scream. While he tied my right hand I tried to hit him with my left as good as I could, but with my feet tied and him holding my other arm I couldn't twist to get to him. Once he tied both my hands and I could only wiggle as a defense I found out how sadistic he really is." I take a deep breath and wonder what to do next? Do I tell them or show them? I feel something rub my left hand and look down to see Jax's fingers interlaced with mine. When did that happen? I suck in a deep breath and work up as much courage as I can. "I think it might be easier to show you and then just give you a vague description rather than to go into detail." I first meet Carson's eyes and then Jax's they both nod in encouragement, but I see the confusion on both of their faces. They don't understand how I can show them the story.

I let go of both of their hands and stand up and turn around to face them. With tears running down my face I grab the bottom of my hoodie and lift it to just under my breasts. Both of their eyes widen and Carson's mouth actually drop open as they scan my scars with their eyes. I look down at my feet so I don't have to watch their faces. I pull my hoodie back down and wrap my arms around myself as I sit on the coffee table in front of them. "He cut me twenty-three times across my stomach and chest. Not deep, just enough to cause excruciating pain and leave scars. When he was done cutting me, he raped me. Then he beat me while telling me that I was his, and I needed to act like it. He broke my arm, three ribs, and I had a severe head injury. Then we heard the garage door come up. I think he would have killed me if Shawn hadn't come home when he did. He stabbed me in the side, and then climbed out my bedroom window."

I go on to tell them about my recovery, and Shawn putting us in a safe house until I recovered enough to move, and had my name change. When I'm done I sit and wait for the questions to start.

Jax clears his throat, "So you have no idea who he is?" I shake my head without looking at him. I don't want to see if he's looking at me differently after hearing my story. I'm not ready to find out yet. "Have you used your old name or credit/ debit cards since you came here?" I shook my head again.

"Shawn brought me down more cash from my accounts when they came down last week. Oh my god! It's not a coincidence that he showed up less than a week after my family came down is it? He followed them didn't he?"

Jax hesitates," Yeah I think he might have. That's what makes the most sense. I don't see how else he could have found you without you using your name or bank accounts. Plus it just seems too big of a coincidence that he's here only four days after they left. He had to of followed them."

Carson stands up, "I need to get to the office and get everything together and a couple helpers. We're going to install a security system, probably a motion activated light in front and back, and then we will sweep for any cameras or bugs in case he left anything behind while he was here last night. I need to get started soon if we want to be done by tomorrow."

I nod while Jax and I stand too. We all walk to the door together. As Carson walk across the porch Jax stops next to me. "What time will you and the boys be over? I have to go to work, but if you want to run pack a few bags I can let y'all in now. I doubt the boys are up for school today, and I don't like the idea of y'all staying here all day in case he left some cameras behind. I doubt he stayed long enough to leave any cameras, since y'all were asleep in the house. He probably wouldn't want you to wake up and catch him. Just to be on the safe side though I'd rather get you out of the house until Carson and his guys can do a sweep through and make sure."

I nod. "I can have us ready in fifteen minutes since we're just coming next door so no one really has to get dressed. I think it'll be best to have a pajama day with the boys so they can be comfortable and rest. Maybe watch a few movies until I need to go to the pharmacy later this afternoon to pick up their prescription."

"What prescription?"

"After the attack the boys wouldn't sleep. They were up for almost two full days straight before my brother got a doctor to prescribe something to make them sleep. The doctor gave them enough to last the first couple weeks after the attack. I texted Mason after I called Shawn. He's at the hospital for work already so he's tracking down the doctor and having him send a script to a pharmacy here."

"I understand your mother being in the hospital being traumatic, but not like this. What did they see?"

"They saw everything that happened the two weeks leading up to the attack, and during the attack when the garage door started opening, it woke Jason up. He came into my room in time to see him stab me before going out the window. He started screaming, and that woke Justin up. He came running and saw me still tied to the bed naked and covered in blood. Shawn and Jessica both heard the screams too, and Jessica got the boys out of the room as soon as she saw what had happened while Shawn untied me and called 911. By that point they had already seen enough to give anyone nightmares."

His eyes are soft for the first time since I met him when he looks at me. Before now I've only seen him look at me with anger or lust. I like it more than I should. "Go pack some bags and come on over, I'll wait for you before I leave for work so I can show you where anything you might need is." I nod and he leaves.

I wrap my arms around my middle as I watch him walk to his house. For the first time since the attack I actually wish someone had touched me. I'm so scared and feel so alone in this town. I would have given almost anything for him to have pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me. I feel safe around him and Carson for some reason. I'm not sure why I feel safe around Jax only having known him a little over a month, but I do. Maybe it's the badge, or maybe it's just something about the man. I know I feel safe around Carson because I can see in his eyes that he actually understand what I'm going through. I don't know what happened in his past, but I know something happened to him to make him understand my fear and anxiety in a way no one else I know does. They're the only people in the world who make me feel safe besides my brothers. Carson has become one of my brothers because of that, but I know the way I look at Jax is anything but brotherly.

I head back inside to pack our bags and wonder again what's wrong with me for wanting a man so soon. I let out a sigh as I wonder how tonight is going to go with me and Jax staying under that same roof.

**********

I watch the cop walk back to his house and Lindsie walk back inside as I crouch down in the woods across from her house. I smile to myself as I think about how scared she must have been to realize I had found her. Little does she know I knew where she was all along. I followed them down the day she moved. I have always been close to her, she just hasn't always realized it. I only ever leave her for a few days at a time. That's the only inconvenience her moving has caused me. I can't stay close every day now. I have to go home sometimes.

It might have been a mistake revealing that I knew where she was so soon, but I couldn't help myself. I had to scare her because she is getting to close to the two men here. As long as it's only a friendship then I can handle that, but I had to make her remember me before she fucked up and let it go any further.

I forgave her for that prick she was with in high school. Even after she made herself look like a whore and got herself knocked up. I still looked past it because I loved her, and I knew she was mine. She stayed away from men for eight years after that except for a couple dates in college nothing serious. She didn't have time for them with two boys and college. Then it was two boys and work. Then she went out with that hot shot doctor and I couldn't overlook it again. I couldn't allow her to betray me like that again. I had to punish her.

I thought for sure she would stay mine and only mine after that, but when it started looking like she was into the cop I couldn't stop myself from stepping in and warning her that I was watching. Maybe that will be enough to keep her from letting it go any further. I know she's staying at his house tonight. Now that she's thinking of me I'm not too worried about her staying with him for one night. On my laptop, I listened to their whole conversation and watched her relive our story together for the two idiots that think they can keep me away from her. I chuckle to myself. They don't even have a clue what I'm capable of.

If the cop is anything like her cop brother then it'll be a piece of cake to slip past him. All I had to do was kill a homeless man to get Shawn out of the house. Want a homicide detective gone? Then create a homicide investigation. I chuckle again. They still have no clue I killed that man to get him out of the house that night. They're all ignorant, and can't even begin to pose a threat to me. I slip back into the woods to get back to the side street I left my car on, about a mile through the woods. I'm guessing they'll find my cameras either today or tomorrow. No big deal, I'll put more up soon. Then I'll just watch, unless she gives me a reason to punish her again. I'll head home for a few days and let them wonder if I'm still here watching, but I'll be back soon. I'll always be back for Lindsie.
Chapter 8

### Jax

## November 13,2011

I roll over and look at the clock. It's 5 am, and I am still awake. I haven't been able to fall asleep because all I can think about is the fact that the woman I've had fantasies about for over a month is lying in bed right across the hall.

As I lay there I think back over yesterday. I can't believe someone did that shit to Lexie. As she told her story I felt a rage come over me that I haven't felt since the day I walked away from Nicole. My heart broke for her as the tears rolled down her face while she described the night of the attack.

I think about the way Jason clung to me as soon as I walked through the door. I don't know how to even explain how that felt. To have a boy who didn't trust anyone put his trust in me of all people. I swore to myself right then that whatever was going on in that family I would protect them. I will do whatever I can to make sure Lexie isn't attacked again, and that the boys don't have to experience that trauma again.

I am still keeping my distance from Lexie, but I've started to really care about the boys. If I'm truthful with myself I care a lot about Lexie too, I just won't allow myself to get close to her. I wanted so bad to take her in my arms yesterday until she stopped crying and the fear wasn't in her eyes anymore, but I wouldn't let myself do it. I did hold her hand as she talked but that's as far as I would let myself go.

When I came home from work to find the boys laying on the couch watching Iron man, and Lexie cooking dinner in my kitchen. I went straight to the fridge, grabbed a beer and walked out the back door. It was too much of a family scene for me to handle.

I wish I had never married Nicole. That I had never dated her at all. Then I wouldn't be like this. I would be able to allow myself to actually be with Lexie, but I can't now. I don't know how to ever trust a woman again. I don't know if I'll ever get back to the man I used to be. I used to be a good man, happy, always had a smile on my face. I was never rude to anyone, let alone a woman. I thought that women were special and should be treated as such. I wanted a family. I wanted a wife and lots of children. Now letting a woman in and giving her the chance to break me all over again is my biggest fear.

Not liking the direction my thoughts had went I throw the covers aside and pull a pair of sweat on. I'm obviously not getting any sleep tonight. I might as well make some coffee and get my day started. I freeze as I round the corner into the kitchen. Lexie is sitting at the table drinking coffee. She's still wearing the sweats from yesterday but is wearing a black tank top instead of the hoodie. I almost turn back around, but I change my mind.

"Mind if I join you?" she looks up at me and shakes her head.

I go over to the counter and pour me a cup before turning and leaning against the counter. I think it's better if I keep my distance rather than sit with her. The only other time we were alone together I ended up kissing her.

We drink our coffee in silence for a while. My mind drifts to the kiss again and I try my best to push it from my mind. I'm wearing sweatpants and if I don't stop my thoughts soon things are going to get even more awkward. I stare into my cup trying to think of something to say.

I look up and open my mouth to ask why she can't sleep, but I stop when I see where her eyes are. It didn't even cross my mind that I wasn't wearing a shirt until now. Her eyes are roaming my chest and abs. I immediately put my cup down and walk out of the room. No way I can stay in that room and not touch her with her looking at me like that.

When I get to my room I get dressed and leave. I'll go to Dillon's house until it's time for us to go to work. I have an alarm system I can set so no one can get in the house while I'm gone. I can't stay in that house alone with her while the boys are asleep unless I want to make another mistake like the kiss. Ten minutes later I knock on Dillon's door, and he's pissed when he answers the door and sees me.

"Do you know what time it is asshole?"

"Yep but I needed out of my house and didn't know where else to go to kill time until work."

Even half asleep the asshole gets a crooked grin on his face, "What's the matter Jax? Having trouble sleeping with Lexie around?"

I flip him off and push past him into the house. I drop onto the couch and turn the TV on as he makes his way past me back towards his bedroom. "Why don't you just give up fighting it man? Just let what's going to happen, happen. If you're having so much trouble fighting it that you're at my house at 5:30 in the morning, it's going to happen eventually anyway."

"No it's not. I won't let it."

He chuckles as he walks into his room, "Whatever you say man, whatever you say."

I vow again to stay away from her as much as possible. If I'm not around her much I don't have to fight it as hard and if I stay away from her maybe whatever the hell is wrong with me will get out of my system and I can act like this whole month of unfulfilled lust never happened. Only I can't stay away from her completely and protect her at the same time. I slam my head against the back of the couch. I have no idea what to do.

**********

### Lexi

I can't believe I was staring at him like that! What is the matter with me? I was acting like I've never seen a man before. This is getting ridiculous. For some reason I'm drawn to Jax like a freakin magnet or something and it's pissing me off. It's embarrassing as hell too. He's obviously not interested, and here I am staring at him like some starry eyed teenage girl. He actually left his house I made him so uncomfortable. I have to get this crush or whatever it is under control. Maybe if I stay away from him it'll go away.

Around lunch time Carson comes over to let me know they're finished at my house. Carson sent the boys to the room they slept in last night so we can talk. They found five cameras with sound in my house. My whole body shakes as I sit on the couch thinking about my privacy being stolen from me again. Carson sits next to me and wraps an arm around me pulling me to him. I cling to the front of his shirt as I start to cry. The thought of someone watching me inside my house again breaks me, just like it did the first time. Someone watching your every move inside your own home is a level of intimacy I don't want with whoever this man is. Everyone does things inside their house they don't want other people to see. Every time I changed my clothes, took a shower, walked to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee in my underwear, everything, someone was watching everything. I sob into his chest for a few minutes before I pull myself together and pull away from him.

"I'm scared to go back. He was in that house while we were sleeping. Stuff was moved in my bathroom, and the only way to get to my bathroom is to walk through my bedroom. The son of a bitch was in my bedroom with me Carson."

"Hey it'll be okay. I understand why you're scared. He might have been there the night before last, but he's not in there now. I put a great security system in. All I need to get it going is for you to punch in the security code you want to use. There's no way he can get passed the system I picked Lexie. Every window and both doors have sensors. There's not a single entrance to your house that isn't wired to set off the alarm. To make you feel better your first night back I'll sleep on the couch tonight."

"No I can't ask you to do that. I don't want to be a burden. I just wanted to vent."

"You're not a burden and it's not a problem. I'm on your couch tonight. Now go get your stuff and let's go."

**********

### Jax

I'm sitting on my front porch with Dillon drinking a beer. I'm glaring holes into Carson's SUV still parked in Lexie's driveway. I look at my watch and see its 11:46 pm. What the hell is he doing over there? He's been there since before I came home at 7, and I can't think of what he would be doing over there for so long or so late. It's damn near midnight and time for him to take his ass home. Why hasn't he left yet? The boys have to be in bed by now. What are Lexie and Carson doing?

"Come on man why don't you just call him and ask why he's there or go knock on the door. Sitting there drinking a beer glaring at his car is just pathetic."

I jerk my head around away from the car, "I'm not calling him because I don't care why he's there. It's none of my business and I couldn't care less. Besides, I wasn't glaring at his car either asshole. I was just lost in thought and that happened to be where my eyes were pointed." He snorts knowing I'm lying like hell. "I'm serious. I decided this morning I'm staying away from her for real now unless she needs my protection. The system he put in should keep her perfectly safe without me. I'd be perfectly happy to never see her again."

"Then I'm sure you don't mind that the lights just turned off and he's still there then."

I don't even blink or turn my head. No way, I'm falling for that shit. I'm not stupid, I know that's a trap to get me to jerk around so he can laugh about being right that I cared. Carson has never been interested in a woman. Hell he's never even mentioned getting laid before. I figure he's either extremely private or a virgin. I smirk at Dillon to let him know I'm not falling for that shit.

"Hmm. Well damn, I guess you really don't care then. That's good, I guess, because I'd really rather you not kill Carson. I'd kind of miss the weird son of a bitch." I'm confused why would I kill Carson because Dillon's being a dick? Unless... my head whips around and I damn near jump from my seat and go bang on the door. The lights really are all off. The mother fucker is spending the night at Lexie's! I can't believe it. I stand up, walk inside, and lock Dillon's ass out. I throw my can against the wall before going to get something stronger. Jack sounds good right about now.

**********

## November 14, 2011

I wake up to pounding on my front door that makes my head feel like it's about to explode. I look around. Why am I on the couch and what the hell is wrong with my head? My eyes land on the almost empty bottle of Jack on the coffee table, and last night comes back to me. Carson spent the night with Lexie and I drank jack and coke until I passed out on the couch. I push myself up from the couch and stand there for a second to see what happens. Well damn, I don't even sway. With my head like it is I thought for sure my balance would be off, but it seems to be fine. I walk over to the window and look out. It's Carson knocking on my door. I smile to myself. Just the man I want to see.

I swing my door open and before he can even say hello I let my fist fly. I hit him right in his left eye before slamming the door in his face, and locking it. I walk towards my bathroom pulling my clothes off as I go. As I step into the shower I hear the mother fucker banging on my front door again. Fuck him. No way, I'm opening the door for his ass. He's wasting his time. I'll be late for work today if I have to. I'm not opening that door again until he's gone.

**********

### Lexi

I get dressed in Blue jeans, and a long sleeve green shirt after getting out of the shower. I dry my hair, and then walk downstairs to make some coffee. I look into the living room to see Carson is already gone. He told me last night he would probably be gone by the time I got up. I walk into the kitchen to see he's already made a pot of coffee. I carry my mug with me and go sit in a rocking chair on the front porch. As soon as I sit down Jax's front door opens. He storms toward his blue Toyota Tundra looking pissed off. I wonder what his problem is this morning, but don't say anything since I decided yesterday to stay away from him.

Just as he reaches his truck he looks towards my house and spots me watching him. I feel my cheeks heat and lift my hand to wave at him, but he gives me a glare worse than ever before. Man, if looks could kill. What the hell did I do now? I haven't seen him since yesterday morning. He didn't seem pissed off about me staring at him, just uncomfortable. So why is he pissed now? If I haven't seen him since, I couldn't have done anything. He must just be in a bad mood.

He climbs into his truck and slams the door before speeding off down the road. I stay on the front porch until the boys wake up. I go inside to spend my morning with the boys. It's Saturday morning and I'm going to have fun with my sons today. I'm not going to allow myself to keep wondering why he seemed pissed at me. It doesn't really matter. This will just make avoiding him even easier. If he's pissed about something maybe he'll avoid me too. Because I know for a fact if he comes around I won't be able to keep my distance myself. I need him to cooperate and keep his distance too. I obviously can't be friends with him. Not when I'm checking him out every time he's around, and my mind keeps going to how much I wish he would kiss me again.
Chapter 9

### Lexie

## November 17, 2011

The boys are at school when Carson shows up to take me to lunch. It's a little late for lunch, but he says I need to get out of the house more, and is forcing my hand today. I don't want to go out knowing my stalker is out there, somewhere, watching. He's not leaving it up to me anymore, apparently.

I gasp when I open the door and get a look at his face. "What the hell happened to your face?" His left eye is puffy and purple. He tilts his head at me, "Well thanks sweetheart, you look nice today too."

I shake my head at him, "I'm serious what happened to your face?"

He gets a crooked grin on his face, "Come on let's go. I'll tell you at lunch."

A little while later we slide into a booth at a local diner. We order our drinks and spend a few minutes looking through our menus. Once we order I settle back in the booth and raise my eyebrow at him.

"Jax punched me."

"WHAT? Why?"

He smirks, "I don't know. When I left your house Saturday morning I knocked on his door to talk to him before I left. He opened the door and without saying a word punched me in the face and slammed the door. I haven't heard from him since. He won't answer my calls either. I've been trying to call him for days."

"What the hell is his problem? He's been acting weird to me too. Every time I've seen him since Friday he just glares at me and doesn't say a word. I'm telling you if looks could kill I'd have died ten times this week. What did we do to him?"

"Think about it for a minute babe, it'll come to you." I do as he says but I still don't get it. I shrug at him and he laughs.

"You really don't know do you?" I shake my head. "His attitude changed after the night I spent the night at your house." I think about what he said and realize that he's right, but I still don't get it.

"Why would Jax care that you slept on my couch?"

"He doesn't know I slept on the couch Lexie. He probably just saw my Explorer in your driveway and jumped to conclusions."

"Why would he care though?"

"Oh you have got to be shitting me! Because he's been dying to see you naked since the first time he set eyes on you. How the hell can you not see that?"

I sit back and think about all the times me and Jax have been together. Except for the kiss he hasn't even hinted he was attracted to me. "No you're wrong. Only once has he ever seemed to somewhat be attracted to me and that was right after I accused him of being gay so I'm pretty sure he was just trying to prove me wrong." He just shakes his head at me but doesn't say anything else.

As we walk out of the diner I stop in my tracks. The two front tires on Carson's Explorer are flat. I walk over to the driver side and lean down to get a better look. They were slashed. "I'm so sorry Carson. This happened because you were with me."

"Get back inside Lexie, now." He slips a gun out of the back of his pants and scans the parking lot as he waves me towards the door. "Go! I'll be there in a minute." I rush back inside and sit back down in the booth to wait for him. I can't believe he slashed Carson's tires! I pull my phone out to check the time. Holy shit! It's three o'clock. The boys will be getting off the bus soon, and I'm going to be stuck here for a while. Carson slides into the other side of the booth just as I was about to start looking for him.

"I need you to give me Jax's number."

He pulls his phone out and tells me the number. I dial and wait to see if he will answer even though he's being an asshole again. He should because as far as I know he doesn't know my number, I never gave it to him. Just as I'm about to hang up he finally answers.

"Stephens"

"Hey Jax. It's Lexie. Are you at home?"

He's silent for a few beat, "Yeah. Why?"

"I really need a favor, and I don't know who else to call."

He grunts, "Why don't you call Carson?"

"Well, because Carson is with me." Carson raises an eyebrow at me and I hold up a finger signaling I will tell him in a minute. "Look, the bus is about to drop the boys off and I'm not going to be able to get there for an hour, at least. Is there any way you can bring the boys to your house until I get home?"

He bursts out laughing, "Wait, are you asking me to babysit so you and Carson can keep doing whatever it is that you're doing?"

I sigh, "I kind of don't have a choice. Carson took me to lunch at a diner because he said I don't get out enough. While we were inside eating someone slashed the tires on his Explorer. I'm sure you can guess who. So we're stuck here until the cops come to file a report, and a wrecker picks up the explorer and we can get a ride back to my house. Can you get the boys for me or not Jax? If not I need to go so I can figure something else out. I only have about fifteen to twenty minutes before they get off the bus. I can call Dillon if I have to but the boys don't really know him and they trust you. So I would really appreciate it if you could please do this for me."

He sighs, "Dillon is here. Yeah we'll get them. They can hang out here until you get home."

**********

### Jax

I stand on my front porch with Dillon waiting for the bus to pull up. It should be here any minute. I can't believe I'm about to babysit for someone. I wouldn't be doing it for anyone else, but Lexie actually needs help so I'll do it. It's bullshit though. If she wasn't out with Carson his tires wouldn't have been slashed by some psycho.

The bus pulls up in front of Lexie's, and the boys bound down the steps and are running around the yard when I call out to them. They both stop and glare at me. I guess they've noticed the cold shoulder I've been giving their mom. This should be fun.

"Your mom got held up somewhere with Carson and asked me to keep y'all at my house until she got home."

They look at each other and smile before running across their yard and up my porch steps. They run right past us and into my house. I shrug at Dillon and follow them into the house. That went easier than expected.

"Mom usually gives us a snack when we get home from school. Do you have anything we can eat?" I set about finding them something to eat while they sit at the table whispering to each other with their foreheads pressed together. Dillon sits next to them, "I don't think we've been introduced yet, my name's Dillon." They shake his hand and tell him their names. Jason seems more upbeat than usual. I slide peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a soda in front of each of them and sit down at the table.

"So what have y'all been up to?"

Justin glares at me again. Maybe I should have stayed quiet, "You would know if you weren't being mean to mom again."

"I'm not being mean to your mom again. I haven't seen her, and the first time I've talked to her since last week was today. She asked me to do her a favor and get y'all off the bus and I did."

"You haven't been coming around and you look mean every time you see her. We saw you!" Jason is glaring at me too now. All the sudden Justin's face changes. "Did y'all hear that?" I look at Dillon and he shakes his head, I shake mine too, "I didn't hear anything Justin."

Jason looks scared now, "I heard it too. It sounded like it came from downstairs, do you have a basement?" I nod my head. "The bad man's in the basement!" Jason screams.

"No one is in my basement boys. That door right there," I point behind them, "is the only way to get in or out of the basement."

"I heard something in the basement. Yall are cops, go look, you'll see. He's down there!"

Dillon shrugs at me and stands up so I stand with him and sigh. I didn't hear anything. I think the twins are paranoid, but that's understandable. "Fine, we'll check it y'all stay right here." Me and Dillon open the basement door and he descends the stairs first. We get to the bottom of the stairs and look around. "I don't see anything boys!" The basement door closes and me and Dillon look at each other before running back up the stairs. The door won't open.

"I think we just got played by nine year olds." Dillon chuckles. You have got to be shittin me!

"Dillon do you have your cell phone in your pocket? I left mine on the kitchen counter." He nods and pulls it out.

"It's dead."

Fuck me! I bang on the door, "Okay boys you made your point! Let us out." They say nothing and I sigh. This is why I don't like being around kids! Those little shits have locked me inside my own damn basement. "This is some bullshit!"

Dillon chuckles again like he's perfectly fine being locked down here. "How long did Lexie say she would be?"

"An hour at least it's been about forty minutes since she said that so maybe she'll be here soon." We sit down on the top step with our backs against the door.

"She is going to come inside right? The boys aren't just going to run to meet her and leave us here are they? Won't she want to talk to you and see how they were? Isn't that what most moms do?"

I groan out loud. "Actually the way I've ignored her except to glare at her all week she might not come inside." I sigh and try to get comfortable on the step. We might be here a while.

**********

### Lexie

We walk up the steps to Jax's porch about an hour and a half after I called him asking him to get the boys. Carson knocks while I lean against the railing of the porch. I have to restrain a laugh when I see him knock and take two steps back away from the door. Guess he's worried about getting hit again. Justin opens the door smiling at us. "Hold on, we have to clean up our mess before we leave." We follow him into the living room and exchange a quick curious glance.

The boys have chips and dip and drinks all over the coffee table and are watching TV. Jax is nowhere to be seen. Where the hell is he? "Where is Jax?" They both shrug their shoulders but I catch the amused looks they give each other. I narrow my eyes at them. I know that look, and I know it means they've done something! I glance around the living room. "Okay what did y'all do? Is he tied up somewhere?" I'll never forget the time Mason watched them for me last year and I picked them up only to find Mason tied to a chair in his kitchen. Mason doesn't babysit for me anymore.

They both shake their heads, "We promised never to tie anyone up again after Uncle Mason." I hear Carson laughing quietly next to me. I turn and walk into the kitchen to look around. Well, he's not tied to a chair. I open the pantry door and he's not inside. I stand in the middle of the kitchen with my hands on my hips and look around again. What the hell did they do? I turn as Carson walks into the kitchen.

"Do you really think they tied him up somewhere?"

I shrug "I'm not sure, but it wouldn't be the first time they tied up the person who was watching them for me. I do know they did something though. I recognize the looks they gave each other when I asked where he was. They did something to him!" We hear something hit the door on the other side of the kitchen and I look at Carson to see he's laughing again.

"That's the basement door. Looks like they locked him in the basement. How did they get him in the basement though?"

"There's really no telling." I walk towards the door only to be stopped as Carson holds a hand up and shakes his head.

He walks over to the door and leans against the wall next to it and raises his voice, "You in there Jax?" We here shuffling on the other side and Jax yell "Carson! Yes open the door."

"I don't know if I can do that Jax." I slap a hand over my mouth to keep from laughing. The boys walk in and hop up to sit on the counter and watch with amused expressions on their faces.

"What the hell do you mean?" Jax yells and sounds like he slaps a hand to the door.

"Last time a door opened around me and you, things didn't go too well for me. I don't know if I can trust you to act like an adult about things or if you're going to try and hit me again."

"You don't open this door in ten seconds I'm sure as hell going to hit you again. We been down here like an hour."

"We?"

We hear Dillon's voice, "Hey Carson, I'm fine. Do what you got to do I'm not in any hurry. OW! What the hell?"

Carson looks at the twins, "You locked Dillon in the basement too? What did Dillon do?"

They shrugged and Justin grins at him "Nothing, but we didn't know if he would let him out or not," He shrugs again." so he had to go too."

Me and Carson both try not to laugh. We hear a knock on the front door and Carson turns towards it, "Hold on man someone's at your house. I got to go answer the door." Jax is going to kill us when he finally get out. I look around the corner and see Mr. and Mrs. Johnson. Oh shit! We have their son locked in the basement, and now they're here to witness it. Are they going to be mad? Carson walks them into the kitchen and points at the boys. "Mom, dad these are Lexie's sons. The one on the left is Jason, and on the right is Justin."

"Wait your Dillon's brother?"

"Kind of, sorta, not really. I was a foster kid. Mr. and Mrs. Johnson became my foster parents when I was sixteen. When I turned eighteen and aged out of the system they kept me around, and eventually got tired of being Mr. and Mrs. Johnson so told me to call them mom and dad. It was weird at first but became habit after a while." They're both staring at him, Mrs. Johnson's mouth is hanging open.

Mr. Johnson clears his throat. "I don't think I've ever heard you say that much at once." He looks at me, "You can call me Brett, and my wife's name is Nina." he smiles at the boys, "Same goes for y'all. Now where are my other two boys?"

Justin speaks up, 'We locked them in the basement."

Brett's eyebrows raise to his hairline in surprise. I explain, "We had an issue with Carson's car and got held up and I asked Jax to get them off the bus for me. When we got here they were locked in the basement. Carson was having some fun messing with Jax when y'all knocked."

"And why did you boys lock them down there?"

Jason looks at him nervously, "Jax was being mean to our mom again, he apparently didn't learn his lesson from the paintball guns so we locked him down there to think about how he's acting. Dillon was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, we don't have a problem with him." Carson bursts out laughing.

Brett has his hand covering his mouth while his shoulders shake and Nina looks at me smiling, "They're a handful aren't they?"

"Oh you have no idea!"

Carson walks back to the basement door and raises his voice so they can hear him, "Okay I'm back. Dillon your mom and dad are here."

"Hey mom, hey dad."

Nina finally seems to notice Carson's eye.

"What happened to your eye son?"

"Jax hit me. It's a long story but it's why I haven't let him out of the basement yet." Brett laughs harder.

"Are you going to hit me again Jax?"

"I will if you don't open this damn door."

"You going to tell me why you hit me?"

"You already know why, asshole. Now open the damn door."

"If you would have just talked to me you would have realized you were being a dumb ass, and it would have saved me a black eye, and you from the twins locking you in the basement. You're wrong about what you think is going on."

Jax is quiet for a minute. "Okay fine we'll talk but can you let me out of the fucking basement first?" Carson opens the door and Jax and Dillon walk out. Dillon has a huge grin on his face, but Jax is glaring at everyone. The boys jump down and run behind Carson.

They glare right back, "You hit Uncle Carson." Jax blinks at them and Nina speaks up, "Uncle?"

Jason nods, "Mom says he's her brother now, and that makes him our uncle. Kind of like Uncle Tyler, he's our uncle too even though he's not really related to us." Carson raises an eyebrow at Jax. I don't know what that look is about.

Dillon ruffles Jason's hair, "when you put it like that it makes perfect sense."

I wave at the boys to walk out, "We are going to go home now. Thanks Jax for getting the boys for me, and I'm sorry about the whole basement thing. I'll talk to them about it when we get home." He nods.

I walk over and hug Carson. "Thanks for everything, car, and I'm sorry about your tires."

"Don't worry about it, it's no big deal."

"Yes it is. Let me know how much the new tires cost and I'll pay for them."

He's already shaking his head before I finish, "Not a chance in hell. Call me if anything happens. I only live five minutes away." He cuts his eyes towards Jax, "Are you okay after what happened today, or do you want me to bunk on the couch again tonight?"

I shake my head, "no I'll be fine in the house with that awesome alarm you put in. Thanks though. I'll talk to you later." I turn and walk out as I wave at everyone else in the room.

**********

### Jax

He slept on the couch? Why? Damn I feel bad for hitting him now. Dillon was right the other night. I should have called Carson to see what was going on before jumping to conclusions. Looking at his black eye I wish I would have listened to him.

Brett is staring at Carson, "What's that about son? You never let anyone get close to you besides Dillon and Jax, and you talked more with her here than I've ever heard you talk in one sitting. Her kids call you their Uncle? What's going on?"

Carson looks down at his feet for a minute before looking back at Brett, "I don't know how to explain it to you. It started when I saw one of the boys after he had a bad nightmare, Jax was there, he can tell you it was really bad. The boy was absolutely terrified, sobbing so hard I don't know how he could breathe. I wanted to help, so I went over there about a week later, and gave the boys my dream catcher. Something happened while I was over there, and I won't say what because I promised Lexie I wouldn't. But it led to us sitting in the floor talking. I understand her. After that she just kinda claimed me as her brother, and I didn't mind so I went along with it." He shrugs his shoulders, "She's like a sister to me. I'm not going into the whole story because it's not mine to tell, but she has a stalker, that's why she moved here, and he found her last week. He was inside her house while her and the boys slept. I put an alarm system in, but her first night back in the house she was scared, so I crashed on the couch to keep an eye on her and the boys" He looks at me, "I haven't told Jax yet because next time I came over he hit me, but when we put the system in we did a sweep of the house, and we found cameras with audio all over the house. He couldn't have done that while they were sleeping so he had to of been in the house before that night."

Brett curses under his breathe, He walks over and puts a hand on Carson's shoulder, "I'm proud of you son for helping someone who needed it, and for learning to let someone in. I'm real proud. She really just a sister to you or is there something else there?"

"No sir, she's like a sister. I'm not interested. You know better than that. Besides, I'd rather Jax not hit me again." He chuckles. "Plus it's Jax that she has her eye on. Has been since she moved in." He smirks at me.

Brett turns and raises an eyebrow at me, "You interested?"

"Nope"

Dillon snorts and Carson just shakes his head. "My eye says differently buddy." I just shake my head and everyone lets it drop as I grab my phone to order some pizzas.

**********

Later that night I'm outside alone drinking a beer while everyone is still in my kitchen. I just needed a few minutes alone. Lexie's door opens and she comes out carrying a trash bag. I don't say anything to let her know I'm out here, just watch her as she walks towards her trash can at the side of her house. My eyes scan her from head to toe, and as usual my body responds immediately. It doesn't surprise me anymore. I'm becoming used to it around Lexie. I'm starting to accept the fact that even though my mind doesn't want her, my body sure as hell does. I'm starting to realize it's not just lust though. If I'm being honest with myself I'm starting to develop actual feelings for her, and that scares the hell out of me. I don't know how to be with her, and my mind won't let me even consider the possibility. She walks back inside and I let out a sigh.

"Son if you want her that bad just go after her."

I spin around in my chair to see Brett leaning against my house watching me. How long has he been there? I shake my head at him, "I won't be with a woman again."

He pulls out the chair across from me and sits down. "I can understand how you felt that way for a while. I really can, but you're only thirty years old. You really going to let what that girl did ruin the rest of your life? Don't give her that power Jackson. She doesn't deserve it. You got what seems to be like a good woman living right there, who you are obviously interested in, and if Carson's right she's interested in you too. So what are you doing sitting here? That woman over there isn't Nicole. Stop thinking like she is."

"I know she's not Nicole. That's not the problem. Even though she's not Nicole how do I know she won't pull some shit like she did? How do I trust her, or let myself open up to another woman? How can I take that chance again? I'm not sure I can survive that kind of shit again."

"You're a strong man Jackson, take a chance. I have a feeling you won't regret it. You haven't shown the slightest bit of interest in a woman in four years. Hell before that the only one you ever showed interest in was Nicole and that one other girl you dated for a few months before you got with Nicole. The fact that this one got your attention even though you're hell bent against it tells me she's something special, and you'll regret it if you let her slip through your fingers. Take that chance. If you have some issues trusting her or getting close to her then sit her down and tell her what Nicole did. If she's worth the trouble then she will stand by you, while you work through it in your head." he taps his fingers on the table, "Anyway, I came out here to let you know we were leaving. Think about what I said son."

I do. I sit there for hours thinking about what he said and wonder if maybe I can do it. Maybe if I try then I can work through my issues. I've never really tried before. I've clung to my past for the last four years using it like an armor to keep myself from getting close to anyone. To protect myself from the hurt that sometimes comes with getting close to someone. Maybe he's right and if I have problems and tell her my past then maybe, just maybe, she would stick with me while I worked through it.

Chapter 10

### Lexie

## November 21, 2011

It's Saturday night and Jason and Justin are leaving soon to spend the night with one of their new friends. I'm going to have the house to myself tonight and considered asking Carson to sleep on the couch but I refuse to do that. He can't keep putting his life on hold to run to my house every time. I'm scared. Hell I might as well move him into one of the guest rooms if I was going to do that. I'm scared all the time. I'm barely sleeping since the night my stalker got in the house. I had finally started feeling safe here and sleeping well until that night. Now I wake at every creak the house makes. My nightmares aren't coming once a week like they were, now they're multiple times a week. I know it's because he was here and I know he's close by somewhere watching. The only time I feel safe anymore is when I'm with one of the guys. I know nothing will happen to me as long as they're around.

Shawn called me this morning and said him and Tyler are coming down tomorrow evening. They want to check out the new security system themselves and I know they're wanting to see how I'm holding up instead of just taking my word for it. Shawn also said he wanted to talk to me about something. I'm worried about what he wants to talk to me about. Why can't he tell me over the phone? What could he have to tell me that warrants a face to face conversation?

I walk through the house picking stuff up while the boys pack their bags for their sleepover. The doorbell rings before I even make it to the steps. Jax is standing on my porch when I look out the window next to the door. Jesus the man is too good looking for his own good, or for the good of women he comes in contact with, since he doesn't seem to like women for some reason. I deactivate the alarm and let him in.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?"

He shoves his hands deep in his pockets and looks nervous as hell, "Do you think maybe we can talk?"

Okay he has my attention. What could he want to talk about that has him acting so nervous? "Yeah sure, does it need to be private or is it not a big deal if the boys might overhear? They're leaving in about thirty minutes to spend the night with a friend. If you want we can talk now, or you can have a drink or something and we can wait for the boys to leave."

"I'll wait for the boys to leave if you don't mind."

"That's fine with me. Go on into the kitchen and help yourself to whatever you want. I've got to run this stuff up to the boy's room. I'll be back in just a minute." He nods and walks into the kitchen as I jog up the stairs.

I come back into the kitchen a minute later, grab a soda and sit across from him. "I must admit you've got me curious." He raises an eyebrow in question. "You've never sought me out to talk before, Jax. In fact you normally avoid me as much as possible. I can't help but wonder what's going on that you're here now."

He actually looks a little ashamed, "Yeah I'm sorry about that. I'm not usually so rude. I'll explain everything after the boys leave." I nod my head and we sit in silence.

A little while later the doorbell rings again. Their friend's mom is here to pick them up. They boys come running down the stairs. "Hey Jax, Bye Jax." Justin yells as he runs by. Jason actually come to give Jax a hug, "I'm sorry about locking you in the basement. I like you and I didn't want to do it, but you were mean to mom, so I had to." Jax hugs him back and smiles down at him, "It's OK. Buddy, just don't do it again OK?" Jason nods and runs after his brother.

Once I greet their mother and the get the boys out the door I stand at the door for a minute trying to figure out what Jax might want to talk about. I wouldn't be so worried if he hadn't acted like he was nervous to tell me. On top of that, we are now alone in the house together. I need to collect myself, and make sure I have myself under control so I don't end up staring at him and embarrassing myself again. I turn and walk back towards the kitchen. Right as I'm about to walk into the kitchen Jax walks out and I slam into his chest. He wraps his arms around me to keep me from falling on my ass. I stand there for a second, startled, damn where did he come from? As I look up to apologize for slamming into him I realize my mistake. Looking at his face while in his arms was not a good idea! Desire slams into me, and I take a deep breathe to try to calm my body's reaction to him. Just as I'm about to take a step back out of his arms, before I do something stupid, his lips crash down onto mine.

I push closer to him, and move my arms around his head. His tongue runs along my lips asking for me to open, I do. Dear lord this man can kiss! I sink into his chest as I pull his hair, and he lets out a growl from deep in his chest. He picks me up and I wrap my legs around him just like last time only this time I'm wearing a little cotton skirt, and feel his erection press against my panties as my skirt hikes up around my hips. I involuntarily start to rock my hips against him and he growls again before heading for the stairs. When he gets to the landing at the top I point to my door and he heads straight for it never breaking the kiss, but we don't make it there. He presses me up against the wall in the hall, and slips a finger inside my panties and slides it through my folds.

He tears his mouth from mine, "Jesus Christ your wet." I moan as my head falls back against the wall exposing my neck to him, and he takes advantage of it by kissing a path from my collar bone to that sweet spot just below my ear. He pushes a finger into me and then another and I moan louder this time. I use his hair to pull his mouth back to mine. I have no control over my actions right now, I don't know what we're thinking, or what will happen when this is over all I know is I need this man. NOW! "Are you sure about this Lex?"

I nod my head, "absolutely, hurry up. Please." Oh Jesus Christ now I'm begging. He lifts me a little higher on the wall and I hear his zipper opening, and almost moan again knowing this is finally about to happen.

**********

### Jax

"Absolutely, hurry up. Please." At the word please, I lose every last bit of restraint I thought I had. I rip her panties off, take myself in hand and rub myself through her folds before slowly pushing myself inside her in one long stroke. Lexie's head falls back against the wall again and we both groan together. Dear god I almost blow right then. I stop once I'm in to let her adjust and try to get control of myself, but control isn't happening right now. I don't think I have any left when it comes to this woman. She impatiently starts rocking her hips obviously not wanting a second to adjust, so I start to move. After the first thrust we both become desperate and frantic until I'm slamming into her without restraint. We're both clinging to each other, trying to pull each other closer even though we can't possibly get any closer. The sounds coming from both of us echo through the hallway as I feel her tighten around me and I slip my hand between us to push her over the edge. We both find our release while calling out each other's names and I lean my weight against her, pinning her to the wall with my body while I try to catch my breath.

As my heart rate slows and I start to catch my breath I start to realize what just happened. What the fuck am I doing? Panic starts to take over my thoughts. I came here just to talk to her about maybe possibly trying to see if we could be together and before I can even start the damn conversation with her I'm balls deep inside of her. What the fuck? My thoughts start to race. I wanted to maybe try being with her, but this scares the fuck out of me. The way she makes me lose control and throw caution to the wind scares me worse than I've ever been before. Everything I've used to protect myself from getting hurt by a woman again, my coldness, my indifference, my control, I lose it all when she's around. I have nothing to protect me from this woman breaking me just like the last one did. I have to get out of here and think.

**********

### Lexie

I feel his while body stiffen against me, and I know what's happening. He's just now realizing what we just did and freaking out. I don't blame him. Hell I'm confused as to how this happened as well. He's avoided me since I moved in except for that one kiss weeks ago. I know what's about to happen before he even starts to pull away. He's going to do the same thing he did after the kiss. He's going to walk away.

"What the fuck did we just do?"

I can't help but chuckle, "well, you see, when a man and a woman....."

He cuts me off, "I'm serious!" He sets me on my feet before buttoning his jeans back. Hell neither one of us even got undressed! "I came here to talk to you about something. Just to talk and I end up having sex for the first time in four years! Four years I control myself, just for you to rip it away!" Oh I cannot believe he's acting like this is my fault!

"I wasn't the one that kissed you Jax, I wasn't the one that picked you up and walked upstairs. So don't you dare try and act like this is all my fault!"

He runs his hands through his hair and takes a deep breath. "I need to think. I need to reevaluate and think, and I'll come back and talk to you in a couple days." He turns and jogs down the stairs without another word.

I sigh. This hot and cold bullshit is starting to piss me off! I walk downstairs and activate the alarm before going to get a shower and going to bed. I'm not heartbroken or crying. Sure, I'm upset that Jax doesn't seem to want to be with me, because I'd love to try a relationship with him, but after everything I've been through, having a one night stand with the man I wish I could be with just doesn't seem like the end of the world. I walk upstairs with a smile on my face. A few months ago I thought I would never be able to be with a man again. Now it looks like I've had a one night stand. I laugh out loud as I step into the shower. It's actually relieving for me to know that my stalker didn't break me beyond repair.
Chapter 11

### Lexi

## November 22, 2011

Shawn and Tyler sit on the couch diagonal to me looking at me with worry. They just got here fifteen minutes ago and I've already told them that I'm fine three times.

"Hey, is that a hickey Lexie?"

"WHAT?" I jump up and run to the mirror. Tyler snorts and Shawn bursts out laughing.

"Damn little sis, it isn't a cause for panic. While I don't exactly want to think about how it got there I am glad you're moving on. That's awesome! You haven't dated anyone since college if you count that one guy you only went on a couple dates with before you dumped him. Other than that you've never really dated besides Jesse in high school."

I wince at the mention of Jesse. He's the boy's biological father. I dated him for two years before he found out I was pregnant and walked away. He had a full scholarship in another state for basketball, and he refused to give it up because I was pregnant. He also refused to have a long distance relationship. The original plan was for me to go to the school he got a scholarship from. I haven't heard from him since we graduated high school.

Tyler laughs, "Yeah, you go girl!" me and Shawn both laugh at him.

"That's kind of why we came here to talk to you Lexie. I think we might know who your stalker is."

I sit up straighter and lean towards them. "Who do you think it is? Has he been arrested? What's going on?"

"The guy I just mentioned. The one you dated a few times in college. Brian. Remember you went on a couple dates with him before mom and dad died. He wasn't happy when you ended things. I never remembered him since it was only a couple dates or he would have been a suspect from the beginning. Maddie actually remembered him four days ago and called me immediately. I spent the last four days doing some checking. The time line adds up since we think your stalker killed mom and dad. You ended things with this guy only a few months before that happened."

"Yeah I remember. I ended things when he showed up at my apartment one night when we didn't have plans like he was checking up on me. Guy was kind of weird."

"Yep and he started screaming and throwing stuff when you ended it. A few months later mom and dad were killed, and you had a stalker even if you didn't know it until years later. Turns out the guy doesn't have a steady job and his sister says for the last two months he's been disappearing for days sometimes weeks at a time. I want to bring him in for questioning, but we can't find him so far."

"Wow, it actually sounds like it could be him."

Tyler smiles at me, "Yeah it does, it looks like it's almost over Lexie. Just hang in there. Your brother will catch him."

"God I hope so! I'm so tired of being scared all the time." They both stand up and open their arms. I walk between them and put an arm around each of their middles. Shawn rubs my back, "It's almost over sweetheart." Tyler responds in kind, "He's right. It's almost over baby girl just stay strong a little longer."

**********

### Jax

I still can't believe that I had sex with Lexie last night! Jesus Christ I had so little control that I fucked her against the wall not even making it to her bedroom. It didn't cross my mind until I got home that this was her first time having sex since the attack, and I felt like an even bigger asshole. Yeah I asked her if she was sure before I went any further and made sure she was okay with it, but I sure as hell wasn't gentle about it. Plus, I walked away as soon as we were finished. I acted like a complete asshole! I should have stayed to make sure she was okay with what had happened, and to make sure I didn't hurt her. But no! I acted like a douche bag, and walked away.

I want to go apologize and talk to her now, but I saw Shawn and Tyler pull up. Not exactly a conversation I want to have with witnesses, so I'll have to wait. Hopefully they aren't staying in town long, because I'm not real sure how long I'll be able to wait without going insane.

After I came home last night, and calmed my ass down from the panic of losing control, I realized that I actually want to be with Lexie. I actually want to try this relationship and see where it goes. I'm already halfway in love with her. I've been falling for her slowly over the last two months while trying to avoid her. From the things that I have seen she's a strong, amazing woman. She's a wonderful mom. More than once I've watched from my window as she played football or baseball in the yard with them. She has no problem going outside and rolling in the grass and getting dirty with them. I remember the way she was calming Jason after his nightmare. She's loving, and caring despite what she's been through. Hopefully I didn't ruin my chance with her when I walked away last night.

*********

### Lexie

I'm lying on the loveseat with my legs hanging over one of the arms watching TV. While Shawn is in the kitchen making more popcorn and Tyler ran upstairs to grab his phone charger. Carson is sitting on the floor in front of my loveseat with his back against it down close to my legs. He showed up a couple hours ago to hang out. I'm not sure why he came here instead of to Jax's, but I'm not complaining.

We're having a movie night. We decided to watch as many Fast and Furious movies as we can before we fall asleep. No way can we get through them all in one sitting. It's already 10 pm and we are only on the second one.

All the sudden glass shatters and I feel something slam into my head. Carson jumps over me to try and protect me from the glass falling around me, but it's too late. I already feel a throbbing in the side of my head that came from something besides glass, and a stinging sensation in my forehead and know that I've been cut. Shawn comes running in from the kitchen only a couple seconds later, and he takes off out the front door with his gun in his hand.

Carson leans back and looks at me. "Are you okay?" I nod and he pulls his shirt off and pushes it to the side of my head, "Hold that there. Put pressure on it. I'll be right back" He pulls a gun out. Where the hell did that come from? He takes off running out the door after Shawn.

Tyler comes walking down the stairs a few seconds later, "Hey what the hell was that loud crashing sound? Shawn breaking your stuff?" His eyes widen as he sees me holding a shirt to my head and covered in glass. "Holy shit, what the hell happened?" He runs over to me and moves the shirt to see my head, and he winces when he gets a look at it. "Damn, you're going to need stitches. What the fuck happened Lexie?"

I shrug my shoulders, "I'm not really sure. It all happened so fast. I was laying here thinking and all of the sudden glass shattered and something hit me and....." I trail of as my eyes land on the brick laying on the couch next to me. "Mother fucker!" I grab it and hold it up for Tyler to see.

"That son of a bitch! Where are Shawn and Carson?"

"They ran outside right after it happened. Hopefully they catch the asshole. "He nods, and says he's calling the cops.

"Just go next door and knock on Jax's door. He is the cops, and it's much faster." He nods and heads out the door.

A few seconds later Carson and Shawn come back inside. My eyes fall to Carson's torso and I suck in a breath. I suddenly realize why he understands me so well. Someone hurt him at some point too. He has what looks like cigarette burns on his shoulders, and a few round scars on his abdomen too big to be from cigarettes, but I'm not sure what left them. I meet his eyes and he's watching me look at him. Like he's waiting to see if I'm disgusted by his scars. I know exactly what that feels like but come on! He's seen mine. He has to know his won't bother me. I hold my hand out to him and he grabs it and sits down next to me.

"What the fuck is going on?" Jax storms into the living room. When he sees me he rushes over. He pulls the shirt back to look at my head. "Damn Lex, you're bleeding everywhere! Are you okay? Does it hurt?" I hold my hand out and turn it side to side to say so, so. "I called an ambulance while I ran over. They should be here any minute." I nod my head. He sits next to me and pulls me onto his lap and wraps his arms around me. I push my face into his neck and start to relax as I breathe in his scent. He always smells so damn good!

I hear Carson grunt, "Well it's about damn time."

We both flip him off at the same time and everyone chuckles. I see Shawn watching us out of the corner of my eye. I don't care what he thinks. All I care about right now is the pain in my head, and the fact that Jax's arms around me makes me feel a little bit better and a whole lot safer.

************

That mother fucker better get his hands off her! I watched the two dumb asses run out thinking they're going to catch me. The idiots can't find me when I'm close enough to watch everything. I watched the cop run across the yard to her house and watched him pull her into his lap. I want to pull my gun out and shoot the fuckin asshole right now, but that will just ensure that I go to jail. I'm not trying to get caught. I'm not that stupid.

I watch as the ambulance pulls in and the cop carries her out to it. I notice the way she's clinging to him and decide right then and there that she has to die. How dare her betray me again! Didn't she learn her fucking lesson the first time? Apparently not! Well she doesn't need to worry about learning it this time. Because she's not going to survive long enough. Stupid bitch! I thought she was special! I thought she was perfect! SHE IS MINE! Turns out she's a whore like all the rest of them. She's still mine though. She's mine to decide what happens to, and I've decided. It might not be today or tomorrow but she will die soon, and her fucking cop is going to die too for touching what's mine!
Chapter 12

### Jax

## November 23, 2011

Still half asleep I roll over and feel someone next to me. I jerk backwards, and slam into the floor as I fall off the bed. That shit hurt like hell! I can see the bed shaking with the force of Lexie's quiet laughter.

I groan as I sit up slowly, "That really wasn't funny." I crawl back into bed and lay on my side facing her.

When we came back from the emergency room last night I came home with her. I didn't ask permission and she didn't say anything to stop me. I just got out of my truck and followed her inside her house and upstairs. I didn't try anything of course. She just got six stitches in the side of her head. The only thing we can figure out that might have happened is the brick hit the back of the couch first and bounced, and then hit her head. Because she didn't have a concussion, and if it would have hit her without something slowing it down first when it came through that window it would have done more damage than six stitches. I only laid next to her and held her. I wanted to be close in case anything else happened. I'm sure I'll have to go home tonight though because the boys come home today.

"How are you feeling?"

She smiles at me, "I'm OK. Just a little sore but it isn't too bad." she pauses, "Why did you leave like that the other night Jax?"

I sigh. "I guess it's time we had that conversation huh? When I came over the other night I only came to talk. I didn't expect that to happen, and I panicked when I lost control like I did. That's never happened to me before, Losing all control over my actions like that." I look her in the eyes. "I came over that night to talk to you about us maybe trying to be together and seeing how it went." Her eyes grow wide, and the surprise is evident all over her face.

"But you don't even like me."

I smile at her and grab her hip and pull her closer to me. "Lex, I'm already halfway in love with you. You have occupied all of my thoughts since the day you moved in. I promise you that I do in fact like you very much." I didn't think it was possible, but her eyes grow even wider.

"Then why do you always avoid me and act like you hate me?"

I sigh and roll over onto my back and look at the ceiling. "I was married before. I married my high school girlfriend when we were twenty-two. We started dating beginning of junior year. Straight out of high school me, Dillon, and Carson joined the Army. We went to boot camp, and then we were sent overseas. Me and Nicole stayed together through it all. We wrote letters and called when we were able too. When our four years were up, we joined for another four. In between the two I asked Nicole to marry me, and we got married. I'd always wanted a family. Wife and kids to come home too and all that shit. I was home for about six months before I was shipped off again. When my four years were up again I got out. I was home for about two months when Nicole told me she was pregnant. I was ecstatic! I kept thinking about that baby and if it was a boy or a girl and what she or he would be like. What would he/she look like? For three weeks I was on cloud nine. I was finally going to get the family I always wanted. Until the day I came home to find her in bed with my brother, Braden." I hear Lexie's gasp but I ignore her and continue. "She admitted that she was almost four months pregnant. So she got pregnant while I was in a different country. My wife was having my little brother's baby. They're now married and living in the house that I bought with their three year old little girl." I turn back towards her and see the sadness in her eyes. "I swore that I would never be with another woman again. Not sexually or emotionally. I kept that promise to myself, until you. When we pulled up and I saw you in the yard I immediately wanted you, and it pissed me off that you were messing with my head. That is why I avoided you, and always seemed pissed at you. I'm sorry, Lex. It never had anything to do with you. It was always about my past"

"What made you change your mind?"

"Brett. He had a talk with me the other day, and he made me realize that I could be missing out on something very special because I was holding onto the past. I've been slowly growing feelings for you over the months while I tried to stay away from you as much as possible. I was just hurting myself by staying away. The reward outweighs the risk. I was still scared but willing to try the other night when I came to talk to you, but I'm not scared anymore Lexie. I want to be with you. I want to be around you and the boys. I want to be a part of your lives."

She scoot closer to me until we are pressed together and wraps her arms around me. I wrap my arms around her and pull her as close to me as I can get her. She whispers into my chest, "I am so sorry that that happened to you Jax." I bury my nose in her hair. This is the first time I've been close enough to her to smell her hair except when we had sex and I had much different things on my mind then than the smell of her hair. It smells like vanilla, and my dick stirs. "Time to get up." I bounce up out of the bed and head for the bathroom to get control of myself.

**********

Later that day after Shawn and Tyler left to head back home me and Lexie sit on the couch watching TV. I have my arm wrapped around her, and all the sudden she pulls away and turns towards me. "Can you teach me how to shoot?"

"Your brother is a cop. He didn't teach you?"

"He tried years ago, but I didn't think I needed to know, and after the attack I was a little busy recovering. Will you teach me?"

"Sure, I'll take you to the shooting range tomorrow. After you learn, we can go and buy you your own gun and get you a permit so you can carry it everywhere."

She leans up and kisses me on the cheek, "Thank you!" I smile at her.

***********

### Lexie

## November 24, 2011

"Okay Lex, hold the gun in your right hand. Keep it pointed down at the ground unless you're aiming it to shoot. Never point it at anyone that you don't intend to shoot. Not even as a joke. Now lift it and point it at the target. Use your left hand to brace your right. That's good baby. Do you see the sights on top of the gun? Use those to aim. Now flick the safety off. Line them up with your target, and gently squeeze the trigger. Do not pull it, squeeze it. If you pull it you'll jerk your hand and you won't hit where you aim. Now take a deep breath, relax, let out the breath slowly and squeeze the trigger."

He's standing behind me at the gun range as I aim at the target. I do as he says and squeeze the trigger. I hit the target, but I hit it high. I jerked a little because I was scared of what it would feel like when it went off. It wasn't as bad as I had expected and I'm not scared anymore. Jax tells me to do it again and this time I hit closer to the middle of the target. I shoot the rest of the bullets in the clip and hit the middle of the target three times. I lay the gun down and spin to throw my arms around Jax. "Did you see that? I did it!"

He laughs at me and nods his head, "You did do it baby. You're a natural. You ready to go fill out paperwork for a permit to carry one? We can buy one today too but you can't carry it until you get a permit. You'll have it at home though. You know you will have to keep it somewhere the boys can't get to it. Do they know gun safety, and to never touch one even if they think it's not loaded or should I talk to them?"

I smile at him, "They know to never touch one. Shawn already had that talk. We lived with him for about eight months remember?" He nods at me and we get our stuff together to leave. We stop by and fill the paperwork out to get me a permit. Then we stop and buy me a Ruger 9mm. I'll probably sleep with it under my mattress. If he comes in again while I'm asleep it won't do me much good in the top of the closet. I'm done being scared! I'm ready to move on with my life, and maybe one day be a family with Jax. If my stalker comes back for me again I'm going to be ready to fight for my life this time. I already signed up for a self-defense class and start classes tomorrow morning. I won't let him hurt me again.

*************

Later that night, Jax has been called into work and me and the boys are watching TV when Carson shows up. "Lexie, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?"

I shrug my shoulders like it doesn't really matter but it does. I'm upset because this is my first Thanksgiving away from my siblings. They can't come down because they all have to work until after lunch time, and it takes about seven hours to drive here so there's no way they can make it before late at night. They're just as upset as I am about it, but they haven't been able to get their work schedules changed so there's really nothing they can do about it and I understand that. "Brett and Nina want me to invite you and the boys to their house for thanksgiving dinner. We usually go over about lunch time and hang out with them, and watch football, or run around the yard with any foster kids they might have, and about 5 or 6 we eat dinner. It'll just be me, Dillon, Jax, and they have one foster living with them right now. It's a little boy about the boy's age. His name is Dex. I think y'all would all enjoy it. We usually have a lot of fun."

I walk over to him and hug his neck, "Thank you Carson. That sounds great. I'd love to come." He smiles at me and nods his head before getting comfortable on the couch to watch Transformers with us. I'm really looking forward to Thanksgiving now. It's amazing how quickly things can turn around. I love being around Jax, Carson, and Dillon, and I really liked Brett and Nina the two times I met them. I can't wait to meet Dex, and I bet the kids will love spending some time with another little boy their age. This Thanksgiving is going to be a great one!
Chapter 13

### Jax

## November 26, 2011

I walk next door a little before lunch time to pick up Lexie and the boys. They're coming with me today to the Johnson's house for Thanksgiving dinner. Lexie walks out wearing Jeans and an Atlanta Braves hoodie with the boys following close behind tossing a football back and forth between them. I smile at them all and kiss Lexie on the cheek before opening the passenger side door on my truck and helping her climb up. I help both of the boys in before climbing behind the wheel.

I lace my fingers through Lexie's and turn the ignition, "I'm really glad y'all are coming with me. Today should be a lot of fun."

Justin leans forward between the two front seats, "Will you play football in the yard with us? We usually play football in the yard with our uncles on Thanksgiving."

"Sure, I'm sure Dillon and Carson will too. We'll see if Dex wants to."

"Mom are you going to play too?"

"Of course. Don't I always?"

Me and Lexie are quiet for the rest of the ride as Justin and Jason chatter back and forth in the backseat. When we pull into the driveway Carson comes out to meet us. He opens Lexie's door for her and wraps his arms around her, that's still going to take some getting used to for me. We all walk into the house together and say hello to everyone. Dexter runs over and introduces himself to Jason and Justin and asks if they want to see his room and leads them upstairs.

Dillon smacks me on the shoulder and smiles at Lexie, "Hey Lexie. How's your head feeling?"

"It's fine. I haven't had any headaches or anything just a little stinging around the stitches, but it isn't too bad."

Showing up here with her and the kids wasn't as strange or awkward as I thought it was going to be. I love being around her and the kids now that I've allowed myself to get closer to them. I've known since I was in high school that I wanted a big family with lots of kids. Not exactly what most guys think about in high school, but I knew what I wanted in life already. I wanted to join the army to defend my country, become a cop, stay close with Dillon and Carson, and buy a house and fill it with kids. I wonder if Lexie wants more kids one day. I'll have to ask her because I know now that I'm in love with her, and I love the boys as well. There is no going back for me now. I was so scared I wouldn't be able to be with her like she deserved and give her all of me, but I shouldn't have worried. It's all happened naturally. It's happened super fast, but it all feels natural and right. I like being with her, and I don't even have to try to make the relationship work. It just does. I want to touch her when she's around or wrap my arms around her. I like playing in the yard with the boys or just laying around watching movies with them. I like it all. I want it all.

I smile as I realize that after four years I finally got my life back. I finally feel like the old me again, and it took only almost two months of knowing Lexie, and almost a week of actually being with her and the boys for me to finally find myself again. I started changing the first week they moved in and have slowly become more and more like my old self as the weeks went by. I couldn't be any happier than I am right now.

**********

### Lexie

Me, Jason, Justin, Jax, Car, and Dillon are throwing the football back and forth when I notice Dex isn't playing. He came outside with us but he's just sitting on the grass watching us. I tell the guys I'll be back and jog over to him and sit in the grass next to him. He really is one of the cutest little boys I've ever seen. He's a year younger than my boys with short light brown hair, blue eyes, and the biggest dimples I think I've ever seen.

"Why aren't you playing with us?" He just looks at the grass in front of him and shrugs his shoulders. "Come on Dex. Tell me what's wrong."

He glance over at me before looking away, "I don't know how to throw a football right. All the boys at school always laugh at me when I try to play with them." I narrow my eyes.

"Are they mean to you about anything else?" He nods his head, and still won't meet my eyes.

"I don't know how to play any other sports either. They say I throw like a girl. I'm not real good at reading either. They all laugh every time the teacher makes me read in front of the class." Kids can be so damn mean sometimes!

I bump my shoulder against his, "Do Mr. and Mrs. Johnson have a football? "He nods his head.

"Go get it for me, and I'll teach you how to throw a football. They won't say you throw like a girl again."

He smiles huge making his dimples pop out and I can't help but smile back. He runs into the house not even bothering to close the door behind him. When he comes back out carrying the football I guide him over to the side of the house so that he won't be embarrassed if it doesn't go well the first few times. It takes a little while to get the hang of it sometimes. I see Jax watching me curiously as I walk around the corner but I ignore him.

Dex looks up at me, "How do you know how to throw a football? You're a girl." I chuckle at him.

"Girls can throw a ball too. I had two brothers who both played baseball and football. My older brother Shawn taught me how to play both a long time ago."

His eyes grow wide, "You can play baseball too? Can you teach me?"

I nod my head. "I'll talk to Mr. and Mrs. Johnson about you coming over to my house sometime to play with Jason and Justin and if it's OK with them then I'll show you when you come over." He does a fist pump and I have to restrain a laugh.

I spend about fifteen minutes showing him how to throw the ball, and how to make it roll of his fingertips. We throw it back and forth between us for a few minutes before he's confident enough to go throw with everyone else. He runs right up in the middle of everyone else in the backyard. "Throw it to me and watch this. Ms. Lexie taught me how to throw it right." Carson tosses it to him and Dex throw it back in a perfect spiral and everyone cheers for him. He runs over and hugs me before running inside to tell Brett and Nina.

We continue to play in the yard for a long time. The longer we play the more Dex's confidence grows right before our eyes. It's a wonderful thing to watch. Maybe he'll stop having problems with the other boys at school now.

I look over at Jax and see him already smiling at me. I smile back and realize today is the most fun I've had in a long time. I haven't worried about who might be watching once. I'm just enjoying a day with some of the most important people to me. The only thing that could make today better is if my siblings were here with me.

I refuse to let my stalker worry me today. He's controlled my life for long enough. I've been living with fear and panic as a constant companion for months. I've stayed inside and avoided going out because I didn't know if he was watching, but he was still watching wasn't he? He was watching me with cameras inside my own home. So if he's going to watch no matter what I do, I'm at least going to enjoy my life while he watches. I can't control what he does. I can't force him to stop watching, but I can control how I react to it. I'm done hiding in my house, and not living my life. I'll go out when I want to and stay in when I want to, but it'll be my decision based on what I feel like doing. I'm not letting him control me anymore. He's had too much power over me for too long. Well, not anymore!

I'm going to enjoy my new life here with my new friends. No. My new family. These people are becoming family. I learned a long time ago that family isn't always blood. Family is who is always there when you need them the most, and these people have proved more than once if I need them they're going to be there.

**********

### Jax

On the way back home I can't wipe the smile off my face. Today is the best day I've had in a long, long time. We played football in the back yard for hours, and then went inside to watch some on TV. Dex seemed to really enjoy the sport after Lexie taught him how to throw. None of us knew that he didn't know or somebody would have showed him already. Jason and Justin really enjoyed themselves. I loved watching Lexie and the boys getting along with the people I consider my family. I haven't talked to my actual family in years because they took Braden's side in what happened. I understand them wanting him around so they could know their grandchild, but they didn't have to always be on my ass to forgive him. That isn't going to happen. I can't believe they even expected me to! My parents only live about fifteen minutes away from me but I haven't seen them in about three years. Braden and Nicole live in town too. I saw them in town once about a year ago, but I left before they saw me. I don't have any contact with any of them.

I'm actually glad I didn't stay married to Nicole. I know now that while I might have loved her I wasn't in love with her. Not like I am with Lexie. It was never this easy with Nicole. I stayed with her for so long more out of habit than love. While I realize this now I still don't forgive her. What she did was wrong no matter what. Cheating is wrong. Period. It wouldn't have been nearly as painful for me if she would have just left me, and then got with my brother after our divorce. Even though it would have been awkward, I could have handled that. I could have looked past it. I can't however look past thinking I'm having a child only to find out it's not mine. I can't look past walking in on my brother and my wife.

I look over at Lexie. God I hope we work out. I hope she agrees to marry me when I ask. While I think I would have been fine if Nicole had left me I do not think I'd be fine if I lost Lexie and the boys. What would I do if she left me and didn't want anything to do with me when her and the boys live right next door? How would I handle seeing them and not being able to be around them?

***********

### Lexie

After the boys are asleep I walk out on the back patio and find Jax staring off into space while drinking a beer. I sit down on his lap and wrap my arms around his shoulders. "What are you thinking so hard about?"

He looks at me with a strange expression on his face, and I start to get worried. Is something wrong? Everything seemed fine today so why does he seem strange now?

"I love you, Lex."

I almost sigh in relief but I hold it in. I feel a grin take over my whole face, and lay my head on his shoulder as he wraps his arms around me. I whisper into his shoulder, "I love you too, Jax." I feel his body relax, and I realize he must have been nervous of my reaction. I can't believe he was worried. I was halfway in love with him before he ever even kissed me. He's an amazing man, and I realized that even when he was being rude. I knew it was only his issues with women that were causing him to act that way. I've felt safe around him from the very beginning. I've felt some kind of connection that I still don't understand every time. I looked into his amazing green eyes.

I really do love him. I know it is fast, and I know most people won't understand it. Hell, I don't really understand it myself. I just know that I do love him, and when he's with us everything feels right.

Since we've been together I've seen another side of him. He's kind, caring, and loving. He's not holding himself back anymore. I've watched him grow closer to the boys, and watched how he changed around them.

All the sudden he grips my thighs and stands up with me in his arms. He walks through the sliding glass door and sets the alarm before heading up the stairs.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to make love to you."

"We can't wake up the boys."

"Well I guess you better be quiet then." He smirks at me as he walks through my bedroom door and closes it quietly before locking it.

*********

### Jax

I walk out of the bathroom after getting rid of the condom, and slide back in bed with her. "Dammit I wanted to go slow and sweet this time!" Lexie actually laughs at me with her head laying on my chest.

"Yeah well slow and sweet wasn't working for me."

Yeah it didn't work for either of us. I had wanted to make love to her and be sweet and gentle this time, but as soon as the bedroom door closed we attacked each other just like last time. I actually made it to the bed this time though so that's improvement. Every time she grabs my hair and kisses me I just lose control completely. It doesn't bother me losing control this time. I realize that it's just the effect this woman has on me and there is nothing I can do to stop it. So I might as well embrace it.

I wrap both arms around her and pull her as tight against me as I can get her. "Can I spend the night?" She nods. "Just don't let the boys see you leaving my room in the morning and it should be fine." I lay there for a second thinking how much I wish this could be my life every night. I swore I would never be with another woman and here I am thinking about how soon I can marry her. My body and heart have wanted her for a couple months, after my talk with Brett and getting my mind on the same page everything just fell into place. I'm going ring shopping one day this week. I'll wait about a month or so to ask her. I'll give her and the boy's time to get used to us being together, but I want to have the ring. I roll toward her and pull her to my chest. I whisper into her hair, "Goodnight baby, I love you."

"Love you too."

**********

### Lexie

## November 30, 2011

I hate Mondays so much. You would think that I wouldn't hate them so bad since I'm not working right now, but they're still horrible. The boys got on the school bus about an hour ago, and Jax left for work not long after. The quiet in the house is driving me insane after such a loud and fun weekend. After Thanksgiving Jax spent the whole weekend with us except for about seven hours when he got called in to work. Other than those seven hours he was with us, and we all enjoyed it.

The guys came over Saturday night and spent some time hanging out with us. We all had a blast. Dillon is a riot. Now that I'm getting to know him I can't wait to spend more time with him. The crap that comes out of that guy's mouth sometimes is ridiculous. He literally thinks he's god's gift to women, and he has no problem talking about it. He's attractive, I'll give him that, but the fact that he knows he's hot is a real turn off for most women. I find it hilarious just like I do with Mason.

I do some dishes and clean up the mess from breakfast before going to sit on the back patio to drink some coffee. When I walk out the back door I drop my coffee mug and it shatters. Sitting on the patio table is a Manilla envelope with a red carnation sitting on top. I quickly walk back inside and set the alarm without getting the envelope. I pull my cell phone out of my pocket and call Jax and then Carson.

Carson gets there first and walks through my front door and out the back without saying a word to me. He comes back in wearing gloves and carrying the envelope. I watch him open the flap and tilt it so the contents spill out on my kitchen counter.

"Son of a bitch!"

"What is it Car?"

"I'm not sure you really want to know Lexie."

Well damned if that doesn't make me want to know worse. I walk over next to him, and slap a hand over my mouth when I get a look at what it is. Its pictures. Ten pictures to be exact. Five of them are from Thanksgiving. There's one of me, Jax, and the boys getting in his truck to leave. One of us getting out of the truck at the Johnson's house. Three of us all playing football with the kids. Then the other five are from different days. More than one of me, Jax, Car, and Dillon sitting on the back patio the other night talking while the boys played. One of last night with me sitting in Jax's lap on the back patio when Jax told me he loved me for the first time. And another of us when Jax was carrying me in the house with my legs wrapped around his waist. In every single one Jax's face is cut out and "dead" is written across his chest in a red marker. The last one has "YOU ARE MINE!" written across the bottom of it.

"No. No. No. No. No" I shake my head rapidly while saying it.

"What is it?" I spin around at the sound of Jax's voice. He's walking into the kitchen with an expression on his face mixed with curiosity and pissed.

"I can't be with you." He slams to a stop in the middle of my kitchen and tilts his head to the side.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You heard me. I can't be with you anymore." He stalks towards me, and comes to a stop with only an inch of space between our chests. He places a hand on the counter on either side of me and leans in, forcing me to lean back. When his lips are almost touching mine he stops.

"Once again, Lex, What the hell are you talking about?"

"He's going to kill you. You need to stay away from me." I try to push at his chest, but he stands his ground.

"I can take care of myself Lex. I'm much more worried about you and the boys. I was in the Army. I'm a cop. I can handle myself. Now, why do you think he's going to kill me?"

Carson clears his throat and Jax turns to him for the first time since he got here. Carson points down to the pictures and Jax takes one look before loud cursing fills my kitchen.

"Well y'all can't really be that surprised can you? I mean I knew the risk when I started seeing you Lex. I knew he got pissed when you went on a date with that doctor, and I knew he would get pissed again."

I actually hadn't thought about him hurting Jax. I know he got mad about that date, but that led to him doing crap to my car and throwing bricks. He never threatened the doctor. It never crossed my mind that he might go after Jax. Jesus how did I never think of that? Can I really put Jax in danger just because I want to be with him? Can I ask him to take that risk to be with me? I start to cry, and Jax comes over and wraps his arms around me and pushes his face to the top of my head.

I sniffle, "What am I going to do if something happens to you because of me? I can't take that chance Jax. We have to stop seeing each other. At least until he's caught." I hear him chuckle and almost hit him for finding something about this funny.

"Well you see Lex. That's just not an option for me. It took four years for me to get back to my old self, Lex. You did that! You and the boys made me whole again, and made me willing to trust again. I'm not willing to give that up. Especially not for some psycho. I'm not scared of him, Lex. Like I said, I can take care of myself. I can take care of you and the boys too. I'm staying right here with you. Okay baby?" I look up at him and see the sincerity shining through in his bright green eyes.

"Are you sure Jax? Are you sure you want to take that risk?"

"Baby I'm positive. Being with you is definitely worth the risk."
Chapter 14

### Lexie

## December 10, 2011

Me and Jax have been together about three weeks now and things are going amazingly. Me and both boys love having him around. Dex spent the night at my house last weekend and we showed him how to play baseball, and took the three boys to the theater to see a movie. Jax spends every evening with us. When he gets off work he comes over and hangs out until dinner time, then we all eat dinner together and spend some more time together before bedtime. Sometimes he stays the night but the boys don't know that. Sometimes he goes back home after spending a little time with me after the boys are in bed. Our lives have become intertwined and I love it. While we haven't really talked about it I'm pretty sure we have a future together. I hope Jax feels the same way.

I'm on my way to the grocery store now to pick up something to cook for dinner tonight. As I come up on a curve in the road I press the brakes, but nothing happens. I push the pedal all the way to the floor, and still nothing happens. I yell for the boys to hold on and that I can't stop. The last thing I hear before everything goes black is the boys screaming, metal crunching, and glass shattering.

*********

### Jax

I'm sitting at my desk at the station filling out some paperwork and Dillon is at his desk which sits butted up against mine facing me. My phone rings and I push the speaker button.

"Stephens"

"Jax its Braden." I see Dillon's head jerk up from the corner of my eye. I immediately start to hang it up. "Don't hang up. This is important."

I sigh. "It better be."

"I'm not sure if you know this but I'm a paramedic now."

"Okay" I say slowly," and I care because?"

"Because I just had a call out and the person I transported to the hospital begged everyone he saw to call detective Jax Stephens for him."

I look up at Dillon and see the same confusion on his face that I feel. I have no idea what guy would want the paramedics to call me unless it's Carson. "What's the guy's name?"

"It's a boy, said his name is Jason Evans."

Panic immediately floods my entire body as I sit up straighter and see Dillon do the same, "What happened to Jason?"

"A car wreck."

I grab my keys out of my desk drawer, "I'll call you right back on my cell." I hang up the phone and run for the door with Dillon on my heels. I toss him the keys not sure if I can drive right now my hands are shaking so bad. He didn't say anything about Justin or Lexie. Are they okay? Dillon calls Carson as I call Braden back on my cell.

"How is Jason?"

"He seemed okay. Has a broken leg and needs some stitches. Vitals were good. Other than that you'll have to wait for the hospital to run some tests. I don't know anything else. My partner took him in. I stayed outside to call you." I suck in a deep breathe.

"What about Justin?"

"Who is Justin?"

"Jason's a twin. His twin brother should have been with him."

"I didn't see a twin brother, he must have been in the first ambulance on the scene. They were leaving as mine pulled up."

"Lexie?"

"The woman with him wasn't good. I don't know the details, but when my ambulance left with Jason they were still trying to get her out of the car. She was unconscious but breathing. That's all I know about her."

"Okay I'll be at the hospital in fifteen to twenty minutes. Is there any way you can maybe stay with him until I get there? So he's not alone or freaking out. Tell him you're my brother."

"Yeah I can do that."

"Tell him I'm on my way."

"Will do"

He hangs up and I start to panic again. Jason sounds like he's probably going to be okay, but what about Justin and Lexie? Are they okay? Did they get Lexie out of the car? Why was it taking them so long that both boys were already on the way to the hospital before they even got her out of the car?

***********

The tires protest as Dillon takes the turn into the hospital much faster than he should have. I'm not complaining. He swings into a parking spot and we both run for the Emergency room entrance. Carson is standing outside the door looking pissed off. "They won't let me back to see the boys. They won't tell me anything at all to do with Lexie either." I wish they would try to keep me out. I make the decision to lie. I rush up to the counter "I'm looking for Jason and Justin Evans"

"And you are?"

"Their father"

She nods, "Go through those doors and it's the third door on the right. We have them in a room together since they're twins. We figured it would help keep them calm, but Jason is up at xray right now. He will be back down in a few minutes."

"Can you tell me anything about their mom, Alexis Evans?"

She shakes her head, "I'm sorry sir, but I don't have any information on her. I'll let the doctor know you're with the kids so that he knows where to find you when he knows something." I nod and head towards the double doors to find the boys.

When I walk through the door I see Justin with tears running down his face as he holds his arm across his chest. I can see on his face he's obviously in pain. As soon as he sees me he yells my name and runs to me. I bend down and pick him up careful not to jostle his arm to much. He wraps the other arm around my neck and starts sobbing.

"Hey now, it's okay, Justin. You're okay." I sit down on the bed with him in my lap and notice Braden standing in the corner with his hands in his pockets but I act like he isn't there. Carson and Dillon walk over closer to us. I rub Justin's back until he starts to calm down. "What's the matter?"

"It hurts and I was scared."

"What hurts? Your arm?" He nods. "Anything else?" He nods again. "My head hurts. It hit the window I think."

They wheel Jason into the room. "JAX!" He's crying too.

I stand up still holding Justin and walk over to him when they get his bed in place. I'm about to sit on his bed when I remember his leg's hurt, and I don't want to jostle him so I straighten back up, and grab his hand with my free one instead. "Hey Jason, Are you okay?" He shakes his head.

I almost start crying with them. I've never had to deal with this before. They're both hurting and there is nothing I can do to make it better. Maybe if I can distract them it'll help.

"Do y'all remember what happened in the accident?"

I look over at Carson and Dillon. They both step forwards so they can hear better. "Mom screamed for us to hold on, and that she couldn't stop. Then it was like we were spinning and landed on the top a bunch of times and then hit a tree. Mom wouldn't wake up."

"You mean the car flipped?" They both nod. "Which side of the car hit the tree?"

"The side mom sits on." I close my eyes and swallow as fear takes over my senses for a minute. I say a silent prayer for god to please let her be okay before taking a deep breath and opening my eyes. The boys need me to be strong right now. I can't break down. Not right now.

Carson walks up and puts his hand on my shoulder, "Do you have Shawn's number?" I nod and dread making this phone call. I let go of Jason's hand and pull out my phone and click on his contact information. He answers on the second ring.

"What's wrong? I gave you my number for emergencies, something's wrong isn't it?"

I swallow again and close my eyes, "There's been an accident Shawn, I'm at the hospital."

"What do you mean accident?"

"Lexie and the boys were in a car wreck." I hear him suck in a sharp breath as I continue. "I'm with Jason and Justin now. They are both OK. Jason has some stitches in his left shoulder and the left side of his head, and it's obvious his left leg is broken. It looks like Justin might have a broken arm, and he hit his head on the window. That's all I know for now. I've only been here a few minutes and the doctor hasn't come in yet. I don't know anything at all about Lexie except I was told by someone at the scene that Lexie was still in the car and unconscious when the boys were on the way to the hospital. They won't tell me anything yet. We're just waiting but I told the woman up front that I was the boy's dad to get back here so they shouldn't have a problem telling me anything. I can call you back when I know more."

"Please do. I'm going to call everyone and we'll head down immediately. I'll see you in about six hours."

***********

I'm in the hallway with tears running down my face. I can't hold them back anymore. The boys have been admitted for observation for the night and moved to a room. Justin has a cast on his left arm and Jason has a cast on his left leg and thirteen stitches, eight on his left shoulder and five on his forehead. It's been three hours and we have no word on Lexie yet. I can't take it anymore. I left Dillon with the boys in their room for a few minutes and came to sit outside their door. I let the tears run freely down my face as I pull the ring out of my pocket and stare at it.

I can't lose her. I don't know what I would do if I lost her at this point. Her and the boys have become an everyday part of my life. The best part of my life. What happens with the boys if she doesn't make it? I doubt her family would let me keep them. I've only been in their lives for a couple months. I'm sure Shawn would take them. I can't lose them! I close my eyes and pray for what seems like the millionth time today. Helplessness, fear, and panic are taking over every part of my brain. I held it together for the boys for hours, but I'm at my breaking point now.

"That's a nice ring. That for my sister?"

My eyes pop open and I jerk my head up to see Shawn, Maddie, and Mason standing over me.

"How the hell did y'all get here so fast?"

"Any news?" I shake my head, and he responds to my first question.

"There was a flight leaving home in time to get us here faster than driving. It was hell waiting for time to board, but it got us here in half the time even with waiting a couple hours for the flight. How did you get a call before I did? I'm her emergency contact and you called me a whole forty-five minutes before the hospital did."

"My brother is a paramedic. He's the one who transported Jason. He said Jason kept asking them to call detective Jax Stephens. So as soon as he dropped Jason in the emergency room he called me."

"He still here? I'd like to thank him."

"Nah, he left as soon as I showed up."

"You said you told the hospital you were the boy's dad. You tell them you're Lexie's husband?"

"They didn't ask. Guess they assumed I was."

"That what that ring is for? You plan on making that a true story?"

I almost lose it again thinking of what will happen if I don't have that option anymore. I nod my head at him, "I've had the ring for two weeks. I should have already asked her, but we haven't been together very long and I was trying to give her time to be sure first." I close my eyes and lean my head back against the wall and wonder what she would have said if I had asked her. Would she have said yes? Does she want to marry me? Has she even considered a future with me? Will I ever get the chance to ask her? More tears leak from my eyes, and I don't even care who sees.

"The boys are sleeping, but you can go on in if y'all want. Dillon is in there with them. Carson went to call Brett and Nina about an hour ago and hasn't come back yet. I'm not sure what he's doing."

About that time a doctor coming down the hall calls my name. I scramble to my feet and face him. He holds a hand out for me to shake, "Are you Mr. Stephens?" I nod my head and shake his hand. "My name is Dr. Jesser. Your wife is stable. Her left ankle has a severe sprain, and I see on her xrays she had a recent break in her arm?" I nod my head. "It has re-broken, and will require surgery to repair it again. We will perform the surgery day after tomorrow. Our biggest concern is she has a severe head injury. She has a cerebral edema that has caused her to slip into a coma."

"What does that mean?"

It's Mason that answers, "Fluid collection from swelling on her brain."

My knees almost buckle but I catch myself, "When will she wake up?"

"There is no way for us to know that. I called UAB and had her medical history sent over. I've looked at her CAT scans from last time, and we performed one here today. That's what took so long. I can tell you that her head injury does not appear as bad as last time. I do need you to hurry though. I normally would have ran one more test before I came to talk to family, but I wanted to let you be there for his next test."

"What next test? What are you testing for?"

"We're checking to make sure your baby is OK." I hear all three of her siblings gasp next to me before it sinks in what he just said.

"I'm sorry. My what?" Carson and the Johnsons walk around the corner behind the doctor just in time to hear his response.

"Your baby. Your wife is pregnant, Mr. Stephens." This time my knees do buckle and Carson makes it around the doctor just in time to catch me before I hit my knees. Lexie is pregnant with my baby, and I don't know if she will ever wake up or if either of them are going to be OK.
Chapter 15

### Jax

I follow the doctor through the halls feeling numb. Everyone else stayed with the boys. I wanted to do this on my own. What if my baby isn't okay? What if Lexie isn't? We walk into her room, and tears run down my face again. She's hooked up to all kinds of monitors. I walk over and grab her hand and kiss her forehead. "I love you baby."

"Mr. Stephens this is Dr. Morgan. He's an ob-gyn and will be performing the ultrasound. I am your wife's main physician for her stay here and Dr. Morgan will be your baby's main physician while your wife is her."

I nod at the new doctor. "I'm very sorry about your wife Mr. Stephens. I was told you have two sons here also?" I nod my head, "I hope they're doing well. As Dr. Jesser has said I'll be the baby's physician while your here. I would have checked the baby immediately, but checking your wife's brain for a bleed had to come first. Then I was in an emergency c section. Now, let's get started. I'm about to check for a heartbeat and then we will have a look around in there. Just so you know, I have to do the ultrasound internally as she's only about six weeks along. I doubt y'all even knew she was pregnant yet."

After a few minutes of him messing with the strange looking machine in front of him a strange quiet whooshing noise fills the room and my eyes tear up. "Is that my baby's heart?" I look at the doctor to see his head is tilted to the side as he listens and his eyes narrow. He nods his head, "That is the heartbeat, but I think...." He drifts off, and I almost choke him.

"You think what doc?"

"Ummm, it's strong Mr. Stephens, but I need to have a look. Tell me about your sons while I check some things. It'll help with the nervousness." A black and gray static looking thing fills the screen as he starts looking.

"Jason and Justin. They're nine years old."

"They're twins?"

I nod my head. "Identical"

He smiles as he keeps messing around on the machine. "Go on."

"They both like baseball, and football. Huge fans of the Atlanta braves and Alabama football. They're blond hair blue eyed great little boys. What's going on doc? Why are you trying to distract me?"

"So I could check everything before we talk. Everything looks fine Mr. Stephens. Look right here. Do you see that flickering?" I nod. "That is your baby's heart beating." My eyebrows pull down in confusion and I point.

"What's that other thing flashing?"

He starts chuckling. "That is the other baby's heart beating. That's what made it not sound quite right listening to it."

My eyes about pop out of my head, "Are you shittin me?" He starts laughing harder.

"No sir. If everything goes well over the next week then it seems like you're having another set of twins."

I let out a whoop! Hell yeah! I couldn't love Jason and Justin anymore if they were my own. I wonder if these will look the same as them. Will they be girls? If they're boys will they like the same things Justin and Jason do? Will they be absolute handfuls like they are? God I kind of hope so. Even though I'm completely overwhelmed I can't wipe the smile off my face. Until I look down at Lexie's bruised, sleeping face. Then I sober. God baby please wake up so I can tell you about our babies.

"What do I need to worry about?"

"Well since she's so early the babies are so tiny and have so much padding in there that they're fine right now. Our main worry now is the stress from her injuries, stress from her surgery, and when she wakes up in pain. My biggest worry is the surgery. If they make it through that then I think they might be okay, but there's no way for me to know for sure. When she has surgery in two days I'll check them again before to make sure they're still okay before they start the surgery, and then I'll check them again about twelve hours after the surgery." I nod and he prints me a couple pictures. All I can see are two small circles. "Those small circle looking things are your babies Mr. Stephens. Congratulations and I'll see you in two days after her surgery."

"Thank you Dr. Morgan."

*********

I walk back into the boy's room and sit down on the bed they're both laying in. I don't look at anybody or say anything. I'm still trying to hold tears back from begging Lexie to please wake up for me. The boys will be released in the morning then we can go stay down there with her, but for now the boys are awake and need me more. Walking out of her rooms was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I've never been so torn in my life. Stay with the woman I want to marry and our unborn babies or go to the boys I love like they were my own.

"Is it okay?"

I look up to see everyone staring at me, but Maddie is the one that spoke. "It?"

She looks over at the boys than back at me and raises her brow. Oh! No one has told the boys yet. I nod at her and she releases a sigh. Should I? Or should I wait until I know for sure they'll be OK. I feel like I should tell them, but I'm not sure.

"For right now everything is fine. The doctor is worried about the stress from the surgery and if everything will still be okay after that. He's going to check before the surgery and again twelve hours after."

Everyone nods. I stand up and pull the sonogram out of my pocket. I walk over and hand it to Shawn knowing he should know what he's looking at. He barely glances at it when his eyebrows hit his hairline. "Holy shit!"

Maddie looks at us "What's going on?"

I look at the boys and back to Shawn in question. He shrugs at me, "That's up to you man. It's not my decision." I nod and go to sit back with the boys. I pull Justin over to the other side of me and scoot over so that I'm in the middle between them.

Shawn has a huge grin on his face, "Do you want us to leave so y'all can talk?"

I shake my head at him, "No it's fine." I pause and look at the boys. "Yall know I love you right?"

Jason smiles and Justin shrugs, "I kind of figured you might when you didn't get super mad when we locked you in the basement." I hear Mason snort and everyone else chuckle. Jason looks up at me. "Is momma gonna be okay?"

"I think so. Do you know what a coma means?" They both nod

"The doctor put momma in that last time. Uncle Mason said it means she's going to sleep for a while, and nobody knows when she's going to wake up."

I nod at him, "Well your momma is sleeping again, but the doctors didn't do it this time. She has a broken arm and a sprained ankle, and she hit her head and that made her go to sleep. When y'all get released tomorrow I'm going to take y'all down so y'all can talk to her. The doctors say she might be able to hear you even though she can't answer. Do y'all want to do that?" They both nod solemnly.

"Can we stay with you until mom wakes up?"

I clear my throat, "I'm going to stay with y'all tonight and tomorrow when you're released I'm going to stay with your momma. Yall will have to go home with your uncles or Carson or Dillon to sleep. But y'all can come back up here during the day and stay with me. Okay?" They nod again and I take a deep breathe.

"Do y'all know what pregnant means?"

"Yes sir it means someone has a baby in their stomach."

"Well your momma is pregnant. We're going to have a baby." Both of their eyes widen and they smile at me.

"Is the baby okay after the wreck or was it hurt like us?"

"Right now the baby's fine, but we need to pray really, really hard. Your mom has to have surgery on her arm, and the doctor is a little worried about the baby after the surgery."

They both look sad and nod. I lean back against the pillows and hold the sonogram where they both can see. "See this little circle looking thing right here? That's the baby. They both squint their eyes and nod, smiling again. I move my finger over to the other little circle. They both look confused now.

"Well what's that then?"

"That, Justin, is the other baby."

Everyone in the room gasps, and Justin jumps up off the bed and yells, "They're twins like us!" Everyone laughs at his excitement.

Jason looks up at me, "Are they boys like us too?"

"I don't know, it's too early to tell."

Everyone starts congratulating me and I feel like breaking down all over again, "Let's wait until we're out of the woods before we do all that. Okay?" They all no solemnly.

**********

Late that night after everyone has went back home, and the boys are asleep I sit next to the bed they're huddled in together and think. Shawn is spending the night downstairs with Lexie so that she isn't alone, and I can stay with the boys. Knowing that someone is with her eases my mind some, but I still wish I could be sitting next to her. The boys need me more right now though. They're scared spending the night in the hospital. Shawn offered to stay with them so I could spend the night in Lexie's room, but both boys asked if I would stay with them. As I looked into their scared faces asking me to stay with them there wasn't a choice. I'm nervous being away from her with her being hurt, but I know Shawn will call me if there's an issue. I stand up and walk to the door to peek out for something to do, and I am shocked when I see two men standing outside the doorway.

"Who the hell are y'all?"

They both turn to me with hard stares and nod at me, "Mr. Stephens." who the hell are these guys and how do they know me?

"I'm going to ask one more time. Who the hell are y'all and what are you doing outside this door?"

The one on the right holds a hand up to stop me, "I'm James and that's Dixon. We work for Bailey security. Mr. Bailey posted us to the kids. We're their new body guards. There is also one downstairs watching Ms. Evans."

I walk back inside and call Carson's phone keeping my voice down so as not to wake the boys. "Why did you post bodyguards to the boys and Lexie?"

"With everything you've got going on I'm not surprised that you didn't catch it. I don't think anyone else did either. Did you not listen to the boy's story? Lexie yelled that she couldn't stop before the wreck. The brake line being cut is how her stalker killed her parents, Jax. That seems a little too big a coincidence. I might be wrong and there was just a problem with the car. I'm going to go check the car in the morning, and see if the brakes were in fact cut, if not then I wasted one night of a few of my guys time. If they are cut then her stalker tried to kill them today. He could come back, and I'm not letting that happen. If the brake line was cut they have 24/7 security from here till the mother fucker is caught."

I sit back in chair heavily. That never even occurred to me. How did I miss that? I can understand being distracted with the boys and Lexie hurt and finding out about the babies, but damn it's so obvious now that he's pointed it out. "Whoever this guy is he better hope that that brake line isn't cut. I'm going to kill the son of a bitch when we find him if it is." Carson grunts. "I'm serious man. The boys are hurt and in pain and scared, Lexie is in a fucking coma with a hurt ankle and an arm broken, not sure when she might wake up if she does at all! We might lose our babies over this. I'm going to kill him if he's behind this!"

"Yeah, I hear ya man. Can't say I blame you. I'd like to get my hands on him too."

**********

## December 11, 2011

The sound of whispering wakes me up and I lift my head to see Dillon, Brett, Nina, Mason, and Maddie are all back and gathered in the boy's room. I'm squished in between the boys. I ended up laying down between them about 2 o'clock this morning when Jason had a nightmare. It wasn't as bad as the one I saw him after before, but it wasn't fun. I had some trouble getting him calmed down, and he was still scared even after he calmed so I laid down with them to try and make them feel better. I didn't plan to fall asleep here, but I guess I did at some point. I try to extricate myself from the mass of little boy limbs I'm surrounded by without waking them.

Everyone is grinning at me, except Maddie who has a worried look on her face. "Who are those guys outside? Are they police officers? Why are they here? They made us show ID before we could even come in the room to see our nephews."

"No they aren't cops, and don't look at me. They surprised me last night too. Carson sent them. I don't know if you know this but Carson owns a security company, and has bodyguards for hire. He caught onto something the boys said yesterday that we all missed. He's checking it out today, and if his hunch is wrong the guys outside will be gone. If he's right those are the boy's new bodyguards. They're assigned to the boys 24/7 until further notice, and there's one outside Lexie's door too."

I can plainly see the panic on her face, "what are you talking about he caught something we missed? What does he think happened? Why does he think the boys need bodyguards?"

"The boys said yesterday that Lexie yelled for them to hold on and that she couldn't stop. Your parents were killed by cut brake lines. Carson believes that might be what caused the wreck yesterday. He's going to look at the car this morning. I'm guessing that's why he's the only one not here. If the lines are cut then he tried to kill them yesterday. He might not be after the boys, we don't know. The boys might have just been collateral damage to him while trying to kill Lexie. We aren't taking any chances though. So if Carson finds out this morning that her brake lines were cut the boys have bodyguards until the stalker is caught." Maddie's face paled more and more while I talked. I look towards Mason, "Lexie told me Shawn and Tyler came and told her they thought they knew who the guy was, but couldn't locate him. Has Shawn found him yet?"

Mason shakes his head, "Nah, the guy hasn't come back home yet and they don't know where he might be. They're looking though. I have a feeling when Shawn hears he might have caused the wreck then he's probably going to call his boss and fight for the effort to be doubled looking for Brian."

"Good. Maybe they'll catch the son of bitch. It'll be best if they do before he comes back and I get my hands on him."

They all nod. "Who can take the boys tonight? I'm staying with Lexie, and I need someone to take them somewhere they can sleep. Whoever takes them can stay at either my house or Lexie's it doesn't matter."

Mason and Maddie shrug, "Any of us will take them. We've kept them a lot through the years. That's how Lexie finished high school and nursing school. When she got pregnant at seventeen we all stepped in to help whenever we could. me, Maddie, Shawn, Jessica, Tyler, and our parents all pitched in. Splitting everything between eight people made it to where Lexie could finish her schooling to make a good life for the boys and didn't stress anyone out too much either since there were so many people helping. Not that Lexie really needed school to make a good life for the boys." I tilt my head in question and they both look at me with shocked expressions, like they can't believe I don't know what they're talking about. I'm distracted by Nina speaking up.

"We were hoping you'd let us take them for the night."

I look over at Nina, "Are you sure? They can be a handful. I'm sure Jason's leg and Justin's arm will make it harder to cause trouble, but still."

Her and Brett both chuckle, "You mean more than you, Dillon, and Carson used to be?" I chuckle with them. That's a good point. We caused all kinds of trouble at their house as teenagers. "We thought since Jason can't walk and isn't used to the crutches yet, and Justin might become bored since he can't do too much with only one hand they might enjoy our house more than going home. Dex has been asking to see them again, and being around another child should help keep them entertained for a while."

I nod, "That's a great idea Nina, thank you."

"It's not a problem. We can keep them as long as you need and bring them up here during the day. That way Lexie's siblings can stay at the hospital if they want, or go home and get some sleep without having to worry too much about the boys. Yall can all focus on Lexie and the babies knowing that the boys are okay and enjoying some more time with Dex."

***********

We have all moved down to Lexie's room. The boys were released, and as promised I brought them down to see their mom. Everyone else stood in the hall, and gave them privacy to talk to her. They asked me to come with them, and I stood in the corner watching as they cried and talked to her. They told her about their injuries and that they were okay, and told her that they were spending the night with Brett, Nina, and Dex and would be back tomorrow. I sat down in the floor with my back against the wall, too overwhelmed with worry and fear to even stand, when they put their heads together and talked to her stomach, telling the babies that they hope they're okay and can't wait to see them.

The boys have left for the night and have my cell phone number in case they need me or want to check on their mom. Tyler has shown up too now, and sits in a chair against the wall. He was out of town yesterday and didn't get Shawn's message until this morning. He got a seat in the next available flight. Shawn, Maddie, and Mason are spread around the room while I sit next to Lexie's bed just looking at her. My mind is racing with worry and fear. Those two emotions have become my constant today. I'm terrified of how the surgery tomorrow will affect the babies. I've begged and pleaded with Lexie multiple times today to please just open her eyes, but she hasn't. Why won't she wake up?

The doctor came in about an hour ago, and he said that the swelling on her brain had decreased and she could wake up anytime, but she still isn't responding to any of us talking to her, Not even a twitch or a flicker of her eyelids. Carson told us this afternoon that the brake lines on the car were cut. So he was right. Lexie's stalker tried to kill her in the same way he killed her parents. Before now it was just a suspicion that he had killed her parents, but now that he tried to kill her in the same way, there isn't any doubt. The police in Alabama are trying harder to find Brian now.

After everyone goes home for the night I talk to her again. I tell her how much I love her and the boys, how much I want our babies to be okay. I pull the ring out of my pocket and stare at it again. If she wakes up I'm going to ask her. I'm not going to wait anymore. I want her and the boys in my life and I don't want to wait any longer. I want to start our life together, and build a family with her. I chuckle through my tears, we've got a good start on the family part. Two nine year olds and two babies on the way. I lay my forehead on her stomach and pray once again. Please god let all three of them make it through this. Please don't take them from me.

Chapter 16

## December 12, 2011

Everyone is sitting around the waiting room quietly. No one has really said anything in about an hour. Even the boys are silent as they sit on either side of me. Lexie has been in surgery for three hours, and they should be done soon. My knee hasn't stopped bouncing for the whole three hours. I want to get up and pace, but am trying to appear as calm as I can. This is the most scared that I've ever been in my life, and I'm not handling it too well.

The feelings that have been overwhelming me since I first got the call about the accident are starting to wear on me. I need Lexie to wake up soon. I need the babies to be okay after this surgery. I need all of them to be okay and to pull through this. I look up just as a doctor walks into the waiting room.

"Alexis Evans family?"

We all jump up out of our seats and surround the doctor. "The surgery went fine. There weren't any unexpected complications. Her arm will have to stay in a cast for six to eight weeks, after that she will need to see a physiotherapist to get back to full mobility again."

We all release a sigh of relief. Both boys do a fist pump that has everyone chuckling and shaking their heads. We all shake the doctor's hand and thank him. Now we have to wait twelve hours to find out if the babies made it through the stress of the surgery. This is going to be the longest twelve hours of my life.

**********

I hold my breath while I wait for Dr. Morgan to say something. "They both look just fine Mr. Stephens. Both still have strong heartbeats. Now all we can do is wait and see what happens. I wish you and your wife all the best. If she comes out of the coma and is released you can call my office and set up an appointment, or she can choose a different ob-gyn if that's what she wants to do. If she stays in the coma I'll see you again in a few weeks to see how things are progressing. Good luck Mr. Stephens." He shakes my hand and walks out.

I lean down and press my forehead against hers, and thank god that they all made it through the surgery fine. Now if only Lexie would wake up I might be able to hold on to a little of my sanity. I rest my head next to her hip on the bed and start talking to her and the babies.

**********

## December 13, 2011

I'm sitting next to Lexie's bed with a kid sitting on each leg and Dex standing next to me talking to them. I have my head leaned back and my eyes closed with an arm wrapped around Jason and Justin. Everyone else went to lunch except Shawn. They're supposed to bring us back something to eat. I hear a female groan and my head jerks up. The boys fall silent and look at Lexie. Nobody is breathing right now, let alone moving. No way, I imagined it if everyone else reacted as well. She groaned! Is she waking up? I stand up and sit the boys in my chair. I lean over and brush the hair off her face. "Lex, baby, can you hear me?" Her eyelids flicker and I almost start to cheer. She's really waking up. I hit the nurse button and tell them I think she's waking up. It's only a few seconds before a nurse enters to check on her.

"Talk to her Mr. Stephens, or get the kids to."

"Lex, open your eyes for me. Come on, sweet heart, I know you can. Look at me baby." Her eyes flicker open and I don't think I've ever felt so much joy. Thank you god. Her eyes focus on me and the boys and she looks confused.

"What happened?" She whispers hoarsely. The nurse gets her some water and a straw while I explain about the car wreck and her and the boys injuries. The nurse finishes checking her vitals and leaves the room.

"It's good to see your eyes open Ms.Evans. I'll let the doctor know you're awake.

I sit next to her hip on the bed, and Shawn walks up to the other side. "Bout time you woke up, sis." She gives him a little smile.

"How long was I out this time?"

I'm the one to answer her, "Three of the worst days of my life." She laces her fingers through mine, and looks at the boys.

"How are y'all doing? Yall alright?" They both nod at her with tears running down their faces when all the sudden Jason smiles through his tears, and I know what he's about to say. I decide to let him tell her if he wants to.

"You're pregnant" Her eyes widen comically, and she looks to me. I smile and nod my head.

"Is the baby okay?"

Jason nods, "It's not a baby." Me and Shawn both burst out laughing at his choice of words, and at the look on her face.

She looks to me again, "What the hell is it then? Are y'all messing with me and I'm not pregnant?"

I shake my head just as Justin answers, "It's twins, like us." I hand her the sonogram picture I've been carrying in my pocket for three days. She starts crying when she looks at it.

"Are they really okay?"

"Yes baby they're fine so far. Dr. Morgan, an ob-gyn, has done two ultrasounds. One the night of the wreck and another twelve hours after your surgery to make sure they were still okay with all the stress to your body. As of last night they both had healthy heart rates." She grabs the back of my head and pulls me to her to kiss me.

"Now there's only one more thing to ask. Will you marry, Lex?"

She narrows her eyes at me, "I'm not just getting married because I'm pregnant. I want a marriage like my parents had. When they died they had been together thirty years and still loved each other. Wait and ask me again when it's not just because I'm pregnant."

Shawn starts laughing next to us. "Baby I bought the ring almost three weeks ago. It's not because you're pregnant. I love you, and I love the boys. Before I knew you were pregnant I knew I wanted to be a family with the three of you. Now, it'll be the five of you. I was trying to wait to give you and the boy's time to get used to us being together before I asked, but I've spent the last three days not knowing if you were going to ever wake up. I don't want to wait anymore. So I'll ask again, will you marry, Lex?" I pull the ring out of my pocket and hand it to her.

She looks down at it with tears in her eyes before looking up at Shawn. "It's true, sis. When we got here he didn't know you were pregnant yet, and we found him sitting in the hallway of the hospital staring at that ring. He already had it."

She looks at the boys, "What do y'all think?" They both nod their heads excitedly. She smiles at me, "I was wondering the day of the accident if you had even thought about a future together. We had never talked about it, but I've never wanted anything more. Yes, I'll marry you." I wrap my arms around her and kiss her as the boys let out a whoop and do another fist pump. Shawn is smiling down at both of us as everyone else walks back into the room with lunch. Chaos breaks out as they all see that she's awake. As everyone comes closer she holds her hand up and everyone cheers and starts congratulating us.

About an hour later Brett pulls me into the hallway. "I'm proud of you son. I watched you with Lexie and those boys at Thanksgiving, and I've watched you with the boys the last couple of days while you all struggled coping with Lexie's condition. The change in you since you've been around them is amazing. You're the Jax that I used to know again. It took a lot of guts to open yourself up again, but you did it. It looks like it paid off for you son. It's obvious watching y'all together that her and those boys love you just as much as you love them."

"Thanks Brett. That means a lot. I thought it would be hard. That's why I fought it so much in the beginning. She terrified me because of the things she made me feel, but it wasn't hard at all. My head fighting it was the only problem. As soon as I decided to try, it all just fell into place, and has been amazing ever since. Those boys are mine whether they're my blood or not. I didn't want to talk to her about it in front of the boys, but I'm going to ask her to let me give them my name, and adopt them when we get married."

The smile on his face gets even wider, "I think that's a great idea. You ever ask her what happened with their biological father?"

"Yeah I did when we first got together. He was some great basketball player in their hometown. They dated for a couple years until she got pregnant. He had a full scholarship to play basketball in Tennessee and refused to give it up just because she was pregnant. He left her, and she hasn't heard from him since." He shakes his head sadly.

"That's just a damn shame. Anyway that's why I pulled you out here. Just wanted to tell you I was proud of you. Lexie is a great woman, and those boys are great kids too. I think y'all will all have a very happy life together son."

**********

### Lexie

## December 15, 2011

"God I'm so glad to be going home. I'm so tired of that hospital."

Mason chuckles at her from the backseat. "You are? You slept for the first three day. We've all been there for five." Shawn, Maddie, and Tyler sit squished together in the backseat. Jax is driving Carson's SUV because it was easier for me to get into. We're following behind the car our bodyguards are in. Carson is following behind us in Jax's truck with Shawn, Jason, Justin, and Dex. That little boy has been a godsend since I woke up. Once I was awake the boys started becoming restless wanting to leave the hospital and go home, but not wanting to leave me and Jax. Dex has spent every day at the hospital with us entertaining the boys, and trying to help everybody. He's such a sweetheart.

I asked Nina how he ended up in foster care. She said that his mother was an abusive drug addict who overdosed two years ago, and no one knows who his father was. I feel for the boy, I can't imagine growing up with an abusive parent. My parents were the most amazing people in the world.

I can't believe I'm having twins again either. Jesus how did that happen? I didn't even think about the fact that we lost control that first time and didn't even bother to use a condom. It never even crossed my mind until Jason said the words "You're pregnant." I'm so glad that they're okay after the accident. They're my little miracle babies.

We pull up at the house and Jax helps me out, and hands me my crutches. It's complicated with my left arm in a cast, but I can use my fingers just enough to grab onto it. I hobble into Jax's house and head straight for the couch. We agreed that we would stay at his house while me and Jason are on crutches because he has two bedrooms downstairs. My house only has one bedroom downstairs so we'll be more comfortable here for the time being. Then when we get married he's moving into my house because it's bigger, with more bedrooms, and it looks like we're going to need them.

Jax asks everyone else if they can go over to my house for a few minutes that he wants to talk to me alone for a minute. I can't imagine what he wants to talk about that has to be done privately. After everyone exits the house he sits down next to me on the couch and pulls my good hand into his lap and holds it.

"I want to adopt the boys, and give them my name when we get married. Will that be okay with you?" I immediately start crying. These pregnancy hormones are getting to me already.

"We'll ask the boys what they think of it, and if they like the idea of you being their dad, it's fine with me." He wraps his arms around me and pulls me to him, kissing the top of my head.

Later that night our day gets even better when Shawn's phone rings and he walks out of the room to answer it. He walks back in smiling at me from ear to ear. "Brian has been arrested. When they pulled him over they found a camera and some pictures of you in his trunk. He's in jail. It's over Lexie."

Later that night we send the bodyguards on their way and Jax grills steaks to celebrate my nightmare being over. Mason, Maddie, Tyler, Carson, Dillon, the Johnsons, and the boys stay up with us late into the night celebrating. I'm finally free.

**********

Those stupid mother fuckers are actually partying. I laugh to myself as I watch them all. I can't believe they actually think that idiot Brian could pull off everything that I've done. That dumb ass couldn't pull off stealing a candy bar from a gas station. It was too easy throwing those pictures into his trunk the other day. He leaves his car unlocked all the time. He really should learn to lock his doors.

I smile as I watch the bodyguards climb into a car to leave. These people are so damn stupid! They just opened up my path for my next attack. Now all I need to do is make a plan where I can kill her and her fucking cop at the same time.

Chapter 17

### Jax

## December 20, 2011

"How many kids do you want Jax?" I look over at her quizzically. We're sitting on the couch in my living room watching a movie. She's cuddled up to my side, and I have my arm wrapped around her shoulders holding her close.

"I don't have a certain number picked out, but I've always wanted a big family. If I had to pick a number I'd say five or six but that's not set in stone. Why? What's up?" I bite her neck, "You already thinking about making more before we even have these?" She chuckles at me and takes a deep breath. She looks nervous for some reason. I sit back so I can see her face better, and wonder what the hell she's thinking about.

"Can we adopt Dex?"

I am shocked silent. Is she serious? "Are you for real?" She nods. "Are you absolutely sure about this? We already have two nine year olds, and two babies on the way. You want to add an eight year old to the mix?" She nods again.

"I'm sure. I want him Jax. I don't know how to explain it really, but I want him. I know he has a good life at the Johnson's house but he's only been there a couple months. What if they move him again? What will his home life be like then? He's eight years old, and he's already lived in three foster homes. He needs a family Jax, and I've loved him since I met him at Thanksgiving."

"Can we afford five kids?"

She starts laughing, "Oh that's not a problem."

I tilt my head at her and suddenly remember Mason's comment in the hospital about her not really needing college to make a good life for the boys. What the hell is she not telling me? "What does that mean?"

"It means we could have twenty kids and money wouldn't be a problem." I narrow my eyes and she sighs. "Me, Shawn, Mason, and Maddie will never have money problems. Our father was a big surgeon, and our mother was the only child of a man in oil. We're trust fund babies. We each had our own trust fund when we turned eighteen. Then when our parents passed away their estate was split between the four of us. Didn't you ever wonder how I was supporting two kids, and I haven't worked since I've been here? None of us have to work. We chose careers that we love and enjoy, but we don't have to work if we don't want to." Well damn. Okay then.

I sit back and think about what she's asking. Like I told her we already have two and two more on the way. Do I want another one? I always wanted a big family though, and she's giving me the opportunity to make that happen with her. Jason and Justin are already close to Dex, and he and Lexie seem to have bonded over her teaching him how to throw a football on Thanksgiving. He really is a great kid. He's had a rough life, and we have the means to make his life easier. I nod my head and smile at her as she stares at me waiting for my answer, "Okay, let's do it. We need to talk to Brett and Nina though. They'll know what steps we need to take to adopt him."

She throws her arms around my neck, "Thank you Jax. You're amazing!"

"When do you want to talk to them, and find out what we need to do?"

"As soon as possible. I want to get the ball rolling."

"Okay I'll call them and tell them to come over, that we need to talk to them." I walk out of the room to get my phone thinking about how I got an instant family. I had given up thinking this dream would ever happen to me. I thought that I didn't want it anymore, but I realize now that I never stopped wanting it. I just used my past hurt to protect myself because I was scared of getting hurt again. It was never about me not wanting a family anymore. It was about thinking I had one again only to lose it like I did last time.

After sending Dex to play with the boys in the room they're staying in Brett and Nina sit down at the back patio table across from me and Lexie. They came as soon as I called them. I've never called them saying I needed to talk to them before so I think they're both curious what it could possibly be about.

Brett looks worried, "What's going on Jax? Is something wrong?"

"No nothing's wrong. We just need some information from y'all."

They both breathe a sigh of relief and relax into their chairs. Nina smiles at me, "Thank god! I thought something was wrong. So what do you need to ask us about?"

I grab Lexie's hand and lace my fingers through hers, "We want to adopt Dex, and need to know what steps we need to take to make that happen."

Nina's eyes fill with tears, and she nods her head. Brett has a huge smile on his face as he looks between me and Lexie. "I think it's a great idea, but are y'all sure? Five kids is a lot to take on. Especially with y'all about to have two new babies."

It's Lexie that answer him, "I'm positive. I've been thinking about it for a couple weeks, but just brought it up to Jax today. I want him, and he's already close with the boys. He already knows us, and has spent the night before. I know him living with us will be an adjustment for everyone, but I think it'll work out fine."

Nina nods at her, "I think it will too sweetheart. I think it'll be wonderful. First thing you need to know is it won't happen overnight. These things take time. It'll probably be at least six months before everything is final. I'm not sure about the exact things that need to be done, but do know you'll have to do a home study. Yall will have no problem with that. You're are both wonderful with Jason and Justin, so I wouldn't worry about that part. I'll give you his social workers number and she can give you detailed steps you need to take."

***********

Lexie

## December 31, 2011

Me, Jax, Jason, and Justin are having a bonfire in the backyard. Dillon and Carson should be here within the next hour. Carson is going to stay and bring in the New Year with us, but Dillon is only making an appearance for a couple hours before going to the bar. He claims he wants to bring in the New Year with a woman, and no not a specific woman. He plans to find one once he gets there. It's not a surprise to me really that he has no worries that he won't be able to pick one up tonight. He is very attractive and charming. According to Jax and Carson, the man is like chocolate to women. They can't resist him. I thought Mason was the biggest player in the world, but it turns out that Dillon is worse.

"Hey Jax, do we have any more marshmallows we can roast on the fire?" Jax looks down at Jason, "Yeah, buddy, run inside and get them. They're in the cabinet above the microwave."

Justin runs into the house full speed with Jason hobbling behind him on his crutches. He's finally gotten used to them, and can get around on his own. They've had so much fun today. Jax took them to buy fireworks this morning, and they've already ate enough s'mores that they'll need to go to the dentist next week. I'm not going to stop them though. They're completely relaxed for the first time in months. They seem to really enjoy having Jax around, and are looking forward to the wedding next month. He even took them to the station with him last week and they've had a bad case of hero worship ever since.

I walk up behind Jax as he stands next to the fire, and wrap my arms around him from behind. I think I see movement out of the corner of my eye, but when I turn my head it's gone. That was weird. Must have been a dog or cat or something like that. I rest my head on Jax's back as he lays his hands on top of mine on his stomach. I hear a sound behind me and turn my head to see my worst nightmare come back to haunt me. He's wearing a ski mask just like he was the night that he attacked me in Shawn's home. In his right hand I see the same knife he used to cut and stab me. I feel my whole body freeze as I pray that the boys don't come back outside right now.

"What's the matter baby?" Jax starts to turn around, but I can't look away from my stalker.

"This isn't real. It's a nightmare or something. You're in jail." He actually laughs at me and growls, "You really believe that stupid mother fucker is capable of the things that I've done? No, Lindsie, Brian has nothing to do with this. That guy's an idiot." Just as he launches himself at me Jax throws himself around me, and slams into my stalker's side. They both hit the ground hard and I'm frozen to the spot watching them fight over control of the knife. I have no idea what to do. I want to help Jax but I can't move. Jax gets a punch into the guy's ribs and he grunts. They roll and Jax is on top now. He grabs his wrist trying to force him to drop the knife, but he uses his other hand to punch Jax in the face.

"Go inside Lexie now! Get to the boys." Inside, yes I need to get inside. I run across the yard and through the back door.

**********

### Jax

We roll again this time with him ending up on top. I still have a hold on the wrist holding the knife. I try to get my knee up to knee him in the balls but he blocks me and sits on my stomach so I can't use my legs to kick him at all. He grabs my hair and slams my head into the ground once then twice. I blindly take a swing and my hit lands on the side of his head. He punches back and I taste blood fill my mouth. He stands up and takes a step towards the house. I grab his ankle and pull and he lands on his face in the grass. This asshole is not getting to Lexie and the boys. Not this time.

"You're not getting inside that house. You might as well give it up now because it's not going to happen." I crawl up onto his back and he pulls some weird ass move that throws me off of him, and I land next to him. He gets his feet under him and swings one of the plastic chairs from next to the fire at me. It hits me across the stomach and knocks all the air out of my lungs. I'm damn glad I have plastic chairs, and not the metal ones like Lexie has. Please tell me she got the boys and they're all hiding somewhere safe.

As he throws the chair down away from us and turns towards my house I kick at the back of his knee and he falls to the ground again. I hit him in the back of the head and he swings the knife around cutting me across my chest. Damn that shit stings like hell! While I grab at my chest instinctively, he takes advantage of my momentary distraction and slams the butt of the knife into the side of my head. Everything goes blurry for a second. Jesus that hurt! When I finally regain focus in my eyes I see him kneeling over me holding the knife over his head about to plunge it down into my chest.

**********

### Lexie

I burst through the back door of Jax's house, and grab both boy's arms. "Come on. We have to go now!" I have no idea where Jax puts his service weapon when he's not at work. He always takes it off as soon as he comes in the door and puts it up where the boys can't find it. Why in the hell did I never ask him where he puts it? I get the boys out the front door of Jax's house and head next door to mine as fast as I can with one kid on crutches whose too big for me to carry.

I get them in the front door and tell Jason to go to the living room and Justin to call Carson now and tell him to get here as fast as he can before running upstairs. As I come running back down not even ten seconds later I hear Jason, "What's going on mom?"

"Just tell him the stalker is at Jax's. Do it now son." I turn to go head back to the front door and Jason grabs me. "Where are you going? Stay with us!"

"I can't baby I have to go help Jax. Stay here and don't open this door for anyone except me, Jax, or Carson do you understand? No one!" I head towards the door and hit the panic button on the alarm system on my way past it so it will call the cops before locking the door and closing it with the boys inside.

When I run around the corner into Jax's back yard my heart stops. He hits Jax in the head with the handle of the knife and lifts it over his head. Every pain he's caused me flashes behind my eyes in only a second. Getting the call about my parents wreck, their funeral, my scars, my rape, the boy's nightmares, my car wreck, the boy's injuries, and my injuries. I won't let him hurt me or anyone else I love again.

"Hey asshole it's me your after isn't it?" I yell as I run across the yard. He spins around to look at me, and I look into his eyes, "Go to hell!" I lift the gun and pull the trigger three times before he even has a chance to react. I hit him in the chest with all three. He falls back onto the ground and I kick the knife away from him before dropping onto my knees next to Jax.

He has a long cut across his chest that's bleeding pretty badly, but that's the only real injuries I see besides his split lip and right eye that's already starting to swell. He sits up and looks at me, "Damn you came at the perfect time baby." He eases the gun from my hand and wraps his arm around me as I collapse against his chest. My hands are shaking uncontrollably, and my eyes fill with tears. I can't believe I just shot a person. I look over at him and he lies motionless on the ground. He's dead. It's really over this time. He can never come back for me again. Relief washes over me even as I feel guilt for taking another person's life. I would have rather he went to prison, but he didn't leave me a choice.

Only seconds later we hear tires squeal as someone slams to stop in front of the house. Carson and Dillon come running around the house and stop in their tracks as they see the dead body lying next to us. Carson walks over and checks for a pulse before reaching down and pulling the ski mask up to reveal his face. A scream echoes through the yard. It takes me a second to realize that the sound is coming from me, as I look into the face of Tyler Masterson. The guy who has been a part of my family since I was twelve years old.

Chapter 18

### Lexie

I walk up next to Shawn and lay my hand on his arm as he looks down at the casket that's about to be lowered into the ground. Even after all the pain and fear that he caused us, me and my siblings decided to attend the funeral. Not for the man who attacked me, but for the boy that we grew up with. Shawn looks over at me and wraps an arm around my shoulders. I lay my head against his shoulder and watch the casket as I think about the last few days.

Brian was released from jail immediately and all charges were dropped. Me and my siblings have had a rough few days. I've started seeing a therapist to help work through what I had to do. It hasn't been easy for any of us to accept what Tyler did, or what kind of person he really was.

"How are you holding up sis?"

"I'm okay. It's going to take me a long time to come to terms with killing Tyler. I keep seeing him as the kid we grew up with or the teenager that was always at our house. I'm having trouble combining that image with the one who attacked me." I had to be sedated the night of the latest attack. When Carson lifted the mask and I saw Tyler's face, and I realized that I had just killed one of my oldest friends, I lost it. I don't have very many memories after Shawn became friends with him that don't include Tyler somehow. He was always wherever we were. Our parents loved him and claimed him as one of their own. We all loved him and accepted him into our family with open arms.

Shawn nods at me, "I know what you mean. I'm having trouble with it too. With the fact that he was always around because of me, and I brought him into all of our lives. Now our parents are dead and you were attacked and almost killed. Then you and the boys were all hurt in the wreck, and then he came after you again. Because I brought him into our lives."

"That's not true and you know it. I met him first. I'm the one who brought him to our house that first time." I was walking home from school one day and I was running late so I wasn't with my siblings that day. I heard a lot of yelling and laughing and went to see what was going on. I found a bunch of boys picking on Tyler. They had shoved him to the ground and were surrounding him, taunting him with cruel words. I stepped in and stopped them. His elbows were bleeding pretty badly so I brought him home with me for our mom to look at them. Once we got home and my siblings met him he barely seemed to leave after that.

"Yeah I know, and that's when he became obsessed with you. No one had ever stood up for him before, and when you did, he fixated on you. When we searched his house we found a lot of journals, and I've read most of them. He's been obsessed with you since he was thirteen. Turns out he didn't even like me at all. He didn't like any of us. He just used me and pretended to be my best friend so that he could stay close to you through the years."

I shook my head in confusion, "I just don't get it. He seemed so normal! He had all of us fooled." It just goes to show that no matter how close you are to your friends or family you may never truly know them. You can be friends with someone for decades and never know what they're capable of. Like serial killers. It's never the weird looking, strange guy that no one likes. No. It's always the decent looking guy next door, that everyone likes and thinks is polite and such a nice man. No one ever sees it coming. So how do you know who to trust?

"Yep. He didn't have dad fooled forever though. According to his journals dad figured out something wasn't right and found out that he was stalking you. That's what dad was coming to talk to you about that night. That's why he killed them. They're not the only people he killed either. The night of your first attack I was called away from the house because a body was found. He killed that guy too knowing I would be the one to get the call and would have to leave the house. Remember the cameras Carson found in your new home? He put them their when we all came down to visit that first time. After we had all been drinking and fell asleep he put cameras all over your house. Stalking you wasn't even hard for him since we all trusted him, and welcomed him into our lives and houses. He knew your new name and where you moved before you had even left. We may as well have just handed you to him and said here you go."

I wrap my arms around his middle and lay my head on his shoulder, "It's not your fault Shawn. I never saw any clues either. None of us did. So why do you think that you should have known? There's no way you could have. He was just too good at acting normal. Let it go. It's over now Shawn. For good. It's time to move on with your life." I look over towards Jax where he stands with Jason on one side and Justin on the other, "I know I am."

Life is already moving on, whether we're ready for it to or not. Maddie and Mason have decided to move to South Carolina to be close to me. They're going to buy Jax's house and live as roommates until one of them gets married. I don't see that happening anytime soon though. Maddie just left her husband of five years about six months ago, and has sworn off men forever. I'm sure she'll eventually give in, but I doubt it'll be anytime soon. Mason has always claimed he will never get married. I can't wait until a woman brings him to his knees. I'm really looking forward to that day.

Shawn and Jessica found out yesterday that she's pregnant with their first child. They're talking about moving here as well, but they haven't come to a decision yet. I won't pressure them but I'm secretly hoping they do decide to move here so we can all be together again. I would move back home now that the danger is gone, but it doesn't feel like home anymore. I could never ask Jax to leave Carson, Dillon, and the Johnsons behind. Besides, I don't want to leave them either. I love them all, and can't wait to see what life throws at all of us in the future.

Epilogue

### Jax

## July 21, 2012

I walk into the waiting room smiling ear to ear, and everyone surrounds me immediately. "They're all fine, but you're going to have to wait a few minutes to meet them. We agreed we want the boys to have a few minutes first before everyone comes back." Everyone nods and I wave the boys over to me, "Come on. Yall ready to meet your new brothers?" Jason, Justin, and Dex all nod excitedly, and they follow me down the hall back towards Lexie's room.

I knock lightly before easing the door open and ushering the boys inside. They all walk up to the side of Lexie's bed and give her a hug.

"Where are they?"

I wave them over to the little cart bassinets that the babies are lying in. Jason and Justin look over the sides at the babies whispering to them, but Dex is a little too short so I lift him into my arms so he can look down at them. He smiles for a minute before looking at me, "Can I hold one of them dad?"

I nod my head in response, "Sure buddy, y'all can take turns if y'all all want to hold them. You have to sit down though, and I'll hand one of them to you." After Dex and Jason each sit down I hand one to Dex, "This is Michael" and hand the other to Jason, "and this is Sawyer." Justin stands between them so he can see while he waits for his turn.

Life has been crazy for the last seven months. Lexie had some trouble getting over killing Tyler, but with the help of a therapist she finally worked through it in her head and the nightmares have stopped.

It took us a little over five months to get custody of Dex, but he is now Dexter Stephens. He's adjusted amazingly to living with us, and it's been easy for the rest of us as well. He has nightmares from his past every now and then, but it's only about once a month so we're not too worried. He's a very happy and loving child. We believe as he grows older maybe he'll lose some of those old memories since he was so young. We're hoping anyway.

Jason and Justin are the same as always. Once they got their casts off, they were hell on wheels causing trouble. They toilet papered Mason and Maddie's front yard a couple months ago. Personally, I found it hilarious, but Lexie did not. I can't even begin to imagine what our life is going to be like when Michael and Sawyer get older. We have five boys in the house now. I must have lost my mind when I said I wanted a big family, but as I watch the five of them together I know I wouldn't change it for the world. I want a girl though. I'm going to start working on convincing Lexie we need to try for a girl in a couple years.

After the boys all have their turn holding each twin I go out to get the rest of our family. They all file into the room, and head straight for the babies. When I look over a little while later to see Carson talking to one of them I almost burst out laughing. The big, mean, scary guy with tattoos, and a hard stare actually has a smile on his face as he whispers something to Sawyer. "You need one don't you Carson?"

He looks at me like I've lost my mind, "I'm never going to have kids man. I'll just borrow yours every now and then since you seem to be working on a football team. You know I don't want a woman in my life." I just grin at him as I think about how I said the same thing for four years. One day a woman is going to catch his interest. I can't wait to meet the woman who does. It's going to take one amazing woman to make him fall.

### The End... For now

Did you like the characters? Continue to follow their story through the eyes of their friends. The next book in the series is Carson's story. Like me on face book for a sneak peek before the release and for updates on release dates. https://www.facebook.com/Lacey-Pearson-123221504775717/

From the Author

Thank you so much for reading my first book. I hope that you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I had a blast being inside these characters heads, but I think Carson is my favorite. I can't wait to write his story. I hope to have it released end of 2016 or beginning of 2017. Feel free to leave a review or contact me on face book for any questions.
