 
## The Complete Guide to Neuro-linguistic Programming, Motivational speaking and leadership, Hypnosis, and Body language.

Franz H. Badenhorst

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2015 Franz H. Badenhhorst

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

### Table of Contents

1: Chapter One

2: Chapter Two

3: Chapter Three

4: Chapter Four

5: Chapter Five

6: Chapter Six

7: Chapter Seven

About the Author

Chapter 1

Build teamwork by recognising and tapping into the twelve characteristics of an effective team. Promote trust and rapport by exploring your team player style and how it impacts on group dynamics. Recognise the key elements that move a team from involvement to empowerment and how to give these elements to your team. Develop strategies for dealing with team conflict and common situations. Understand how action planning and analysis tools can help your team perform better.

There are signs that both the nature of organisations and the selfconcept of the individuals who make them up are changing in fundamental ways. Some basic shifts are underway. For example, organisations are evolving from pyramid to fishnet structures, as hierarchies collapse and partnerships and mergers become the order of the day.

In a flattened organisation, it is easier to get the person in charge, but on the other side there are more confusion over reporting relationships and roles

Often we see employees looking to themselves and networks of coworkers, rather than

the corporation, for their health benefits and their career planning.

Many organizations no longer look for training for their employees

Training is the responsibility of the employee: they find the training they

want/need and then sell the idea to their boss

Within organizations, individuals are less apt to work in big structures and more likely to participate in business teams and ad hoc alliances.

Businesses have shifted their attention from their competitors to their customers. Competitive analysis still plays a role but blind competition is giving way to cooperative competition. There is an intense interest in customer needs and customer service.

Electronic networks are replacing office buildings as the centre of business transaction. You are where your network is.

Diversity is a simple business reality in the global marketplace. Advantages and disadvantages are:

More creative thinking

A more diverse set of options to a customer problem

Difficulties can include overcoming cultural barriers

An orientation toward continual learning has replaced one-time training for most employees. Learning must be lifelong for everyone.

A rose may be always a rose, but a team is not always a team. So many groups are called teams these days that the word "team" has almost lost its meaning. There may be an executive team, a quality team, a service team, or a sales team, but just calling a group a team doesn't make it so.

Types of Teams

There are several modern classifications of teams.

The Traditional Model

This refers to a group of people who have a traditional boss but whom also share some of his/her responsibility and authority. How much is shared is usually dependent on the topic under discussion. A person is in charge, but on various issues that person may allow other team members to take the leadership role.

The Team Spirit Model

This is a group of people who are happy working for one boss, and everything seems to be going well. These people have team spirit, but in reality they aren't a team because one person calls all the shots, with no sharing of authority or responsibility.

The Cutting Edge Model

This is a group of people who manage themselves. No one person in the group has the authority to make all the decisions about the events that impact the group. This is referred to as a self-directed work team because everyone has authority and responsibility for all the decisions they have to make.

The Task Force Model

This is a group that comes together for a specific time to work on a special project or task. This group has traditionally been called a task force or committee and may include quality circles (as used in TQM efforts).

The Cyber Team

In this team model, members see one another infrequently or not at all. These are called cyber or virtual teams. What makes these teams different is that they have to work together to accomplish goals, but they may meet only at the beginning of their project and thereafter interact through e-mail and telephone. They can also fit any of the four models listed above.

Knowing the type of team you

are in can help you choose how to plan your work and what you expect as outcomes.

Defining a Team

We can define a team as a group of people who come together under shared leadership, mutual responsibility, and conscious authority to achieve agreed-upon goals in a mutually effective fashion.

If you broke down this definition into its words and phrases, could you justify each one?

All teams, whether they know it or not, have norms, rules, or guidelines that guide the behaviour of team members. In most cases they are not written down: they are simply understood because that's the way the team always operates.

Norms can be positive and thus help the team be an effective organisation. For example, all team members show up on time for team meetings. Norms can also be counterproductive as when excessive joking and side conversations prevent a meeting from being productive.

The TORI model of team building includes:

T is for Trust: interpersonal confidence and absence of fear. O is for Openness: free flow of information, ideas, perceptions, and feelings.

R is for Realization: self-determination, being role free, doing what you want to do. I is for Interdependence: reciprocal influence, shared responsibility, and leadership.

Richard Beckhart said in 1972 that there are four activities a group should perform on a regular basis if they desire to grow into a team. Researchers today still agree on these four activities.

Set and reset goals and priorities. Analyse or allocate the way work is being performed, according to team members' roles and responsibilities. Examine the way the team is working. Examine how the group handles agreement and how it handles conflict and how group members relate to one another.

Set and reset goals and priorities. What have you learned about setting goals in today's exercises?

Analyse or allocate the way work is being performed, according to team member's roles and responsibilities.

How was the work performed in this activity? What have you learned about team member roles and responsibilities?

Examine the way the team is working.

What processes did the group use? Were they effective? What have you learned about team processes and their effectiveness or ineffectiveness? What kind of decision-making did the group engage in? How did it handle decision-making? Are there any processes you would like to change? Examine how the group handles agreement and how it handles conflict and how group members relate to one another.

What have you learned about handling agreement and conflict? Were the communications effective? Does any part of the communication process need attention?

Teams go through various stages of development. Bruce Tuckman and M.A. Jensen (1965-1977) refer to these stages as Forming, Storming, Norming, and Performing. Knowing what to expect in each stage can help teams or individuals in the team. Team leaders and other members of the group have an important role to play in each stage. Effective team players can successfully move a team toward maturity with specific positive actions.

Stage 1: Forming

Characteristics of this stage:

Group members may be anxious, adopt wait-and-see attitude, or be formal. No clear idea of goals or expectations. Not sure why they are there.

What you can do to help: Team writes its own charter or mission statement and clarifies

goals.

Remember, goals must have

personal buy-in.

Help team establish boundaries and

determine what is expected.

Team members get to know each

other doing non-conflict laden task.

This builds commitment towards

one larger goal.

Help them know what to expect;

communicate and reassure.

Stage 2: Storming

Characteristics of this stage:

Team members eager to get

going. Conflict can arise as people bring different ideas of how to accomplish goals, notice differences rather than similarities. Some members may drop out mentally or physically.

What you can do to help:

Continue with no surprises and communicate. Tensions will increase. This is normal, so recognise and publicly acknowledge accomplishments. Lead/participate in meetings.

Value diversity.

Gather information and be

supportive.

Stage 3: Norming Characteristics of this stage: People begin to ways they are

alike.

They realize its sink or swim, we're

in this together.

People get more social.

May forget their focus in favour of

having a good time.

What you can do to help:

Recognise how they are alike. Help with training if applicable. Encourage them to feel comfortable with each other and with systems. Help group stay focused on goal.

Stage 4: Performing

Characteristics of this stage:

Team members are trained and competent, and able to do their own problem-solving. Leader will ask for critical self-assessment and look at ways to challenge them

and develop them. Mature, understand their roles and responsibilities. Want more input in processes. Self-motivated and self-trained.

The twelve characteristics of effective teams were developed by Glenn Parker, who has devoted his whole life's work to studying teams. For the remainder of the afternoon and for part of tomorrow, the group will look at some of these characteristics.

Clear Purpose

Informality

Participation Listening Civilized Disagreements Consensus Decisions Open Communication Clear Roles and Work

Assignments Shared Leadership External Relations Style Diversity Self-Assessment Clear Purpose On a personal note, having

goals or a clear purpose is important to each of us. In one landmark study done with Yale graduates, only 3% of the graduates set goals, but that 3% earned more money and were more successful than the other 97% put together.

For leaders who are serious about setting goals, there are some things to keep in mind, and these were nicely summed up by an acronym: SMART PPP. This acronym stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and with Timelines. Goals should also be expressed Positively, be Personalized for each member of the team, and all goals should be Put in writing, where you and the team can see them often.

Once you sit down with your team and set some goals, it can be very useful to develop some type of action plan for accomplishing that goal.

Informality and Participation

With high-performance teams, the climate tends to be informal, comfortable, and relaxed. There are no obvious tensions or signs of boredom. Teams enjoy getting together, they interact easily, and there is lots of good-natured kidding and laughter. Seating arrangements can facilitate this. A circle is usually the best seating arrangement; a typical classroom arrangement is the worst.

Listening

High-performance team members also use effective listening techniques such as questioning, paraphrasing, and summarizing to get out ideas. Listening is the single most effective factor that distinguishes effective teams from ineffective teams. Unfortunately, it gets more lip service than action.

The ability to really listen is an important skill for any team member to have. Listening allows you to understand where the other person is coming from, and shows you're interested in what he/she has to say.

Unfortunately, we all experience common listening problems.

We let our attention wander. We miss the real point of what is being said. We let our emotions interfere with our judgment. We interrupt and step on the statements of others. We think ahead to what we want to say next and miss what's being said right now.

To improve your listening skills, use the three steps of active listening. NonVerbal Messages. Eye contact, an alert expression, head nodding, and a forward lean to the body expresses listening. Cues or Invitations. These are the phrases like uh-huh, OK, yes, or go on that signal our attention and invite an individual to continue talking.

Clarification of what has been said. We can do this in one of several ways: by asking questions, summarizing what has been said, or paraphrasing the message in your own words.

Paraphrasing is a fundamental listening skill.

Why How

Paraphrasing has both a calming effect and a Use your own words to say what you think clarifying effect. It reassures the speaker that the speaker said. his/her ideas are worth listening to. It also provides the speaker with a chance to hear how If the speaker's statement is one or two his/her ideas are being heard by others. sentences, use roughly the same number of words when you paraphrase it. If the speaker's statement is many sentences long, summarize it.

Paraphrasing is especially useful on occasions Preface your paraphrase with a comment when a speaker's statements are convoluted or like one of these: confusing. At such times, the paraphrase will "It sounds like what you're saying is...." help the speaker gauge how well his/her ideas "This is what I'm

hearing you say...."

are getting across. "Let me see if I

understand you..."

8: Civilized Disagreements and Consensus

Definitions

Civilized disagreements mean there is disagreement, but the team is comfortable with this and shows no sign of avoiding, smoothing over, or suppressing conflict.

Some people may find team contracts something they feel comfortable with, while others may dislike them.

For important decisions, the goal is substantial (but not necessarily unanimous) agreement through open discussion of everyone's ideas and avoidance of formal voting or easy compromises. Consensus is finding a proposal acceptable enough that all members can support it; no member opposes it. Consensus, however, is not a unanimous vote as a consensus may not represent everyone's first priorities. In a majority vote, only the majority gets something they are happy with; people in the minority may get something they don't want at all, which is not what consensus is all about.

A state where everyone is totally satisfied requires these elements:

Time

Active participation of all group members

Skills in communication: listening, conflict resolution, discussion facilitation

Creative thinking and open-mindedness

Ideas to be heard and understood

9: Open

Communication

Team players can encourage open communication and trust by being dependable, pitching in and helping out, reading and responding to verbal cues, and candidly sharing views. The basic principles of good communication include: Objective

You should have an end result or objective clearly in mind before communicating. Examine your purpose. What specifically do you want the receiver to understand or to do, as a result of the communication?

Method

What's the best method for achieving your objective? Obviously, some communication methods or channels are better than others for a given objective. Weigh the alternatives (written or oral, group or individual, formal or informal) before selecting a specific method such as a letter, memo, meeting, telephone call, or e-mail.

Structure

How you organize and construct your communication is very important to its success. There are many considerations: How much or how little to cover? What's the best way to organize the message? How can you keep it simple and concise, yet complete? How can you gear it to your audience's needs (frame of reference)?

Feedback

In order to ensure that your

message has been understood and to evaluate the emotions of your receiver (how does he/she feel about it?), you should encourage frequent responses.

1. Clear Purpose: The vision, mission, goal, or task of the team has been defined and is accepted by everyone. There is an action plan. Comments: Informality: The climate tends to be informal, comfortable, and relaxed. There are no obvious tensions or signs of boredom. Comments: Participation: There is a lot of discussion, and everyone is encouraged to participate. Listening: The members use effective listening techniques such as questioning, paraphrasing, and summarizing to get out ideas.

10: Team development survey

Think of a team that you have worked with, or have been part of. Complete the following team development survey:

How often is this statement

true? (Please circle one number only) Very Statements Seldom Sometimes Often

Frequently

Civilized Disagreement: There is disagreement, but the team is comfortable with this and shows Comments:

Now list the three weakest areas and keep these areas in mind and record ideas for improvement as we go look at those principles in this .

11: Clear Roles and Assignments

The next characteristic of effective teams is that there are clear expectations about the roles played by each team member. When action is taken, clear assignments are made, accepted, and carried out. Work is fairly distributed among team members.

Teams can use this checklist to evaluate their leader's ability to give clear assignments.

Leader's Expectation Checklist

Area Explanation Rating (1-10) Work Methods Time Frames Work Responsibilities Customer/Supplier Interface Work Priorities Understanding our leader's

expectations regarding required work methods and procedures when completing jobs or projects.

Understanding due dates for the completion of projects; determining when dates have slipped and which completion dates are final and nonnegotiable.

Understanding each team member's role when we are assigned to a given job or responsibility.

Understanding our leader's expectations when dealing with supplier problems or customer complaints or requests; understanding how far we should go to build effective relationships with other work groups.

Understanding which jobs take priority and the changes in work priorities; being able to clearly differentiate between hot jobs and other jobs.

Understanding what our leader expects in the way of desired outcomes, what it means to do a

Performance good job, and the degree of effort we are expected to put into a job (as opposed to overworking low-priority jobs).

what resources (facilities, support staff, equipment, software, and budget) allocated to

12: Shared Leadership

Being a leader doesn't mean doing it all yourself. Nor does it mean always being the one out in front. Shared Leadership is an idea to consider when working in team environments (and we all function in them in some form). One idea is to have different people serve as SMEs (subject matter experts).

What are some benefits of sharing the burden of leadership?

More ideas

Burden of decision making not on one person's shoulders

Gives everyone the chance to grow

More buy-in, sense of ownership

What are some possible disadvantages of shared leadership?

Some groups require more direction and need a central leader

Some groups cannot work to full potential without central leader

Decision making can take more time

The key to shared leadership is communication. If several (or all) members of the group are going to share in leading the group, they must agree on where they are going and how they are going to get there. They must also communicate along the way to make sure they are on track.

As an example, let's look at a traditional construction team. Typically, you have the foreman or forewoman. This person directs the rest of the workers to get the construction project accomplished.

Now, let's say that this team decided to use shared leadership and eliminate the foreperson position. Without communication, this could be a disaster. You would probably end up in a situation where one person is laying carpet before painting has been completed.

However, if the team meets each morning and lays out responsibilities and plans together, this shared leadership formula

might work very well for them.

13: Glenn

Parker Team Survey

Glenn Parker Team Player Types

If you have one primary style:

Contributor -Task Oriented

The contributor is a task-oriented team member who enjoys providing the team with good technical information and data. You do your homework, push the team to set high performance standards, and use your resources wisely. Most people see you as dependable although they believe at times you may become too bogged down in details or data. The contributor does not see the big picture or the need for positive team climate.

Check as many as apply to you.

Most of the time you:

But sometimes you:

Complete all team 'homework' in a timely and efficient manner and detailed

Freely share all of the information and materials you have

Push the team to set high performance standards

Go into data overload with reports that are too long

Push for unrealistic performance standards

Lose sight of the big picture ¬the goal or charter of the team

Provide technical training for team Lack patience with team climate and process members and serve as a mentor issues

Can be depended upon to do what is asked

Become impatient with other team members of you who do not live up to your standards.

Collaborator -Goal Oriented

The collaborator is a goal-directed member who sees the vision, mission or goal of the team as paramount. You are flexible and open to new ideas, willing to pitch in and work outside your defined role and are able to share the limelight with other team members. Most people see you as a big picture person but they believe, at times, you may fail to periodically re-visit the mission. The collaborator often does not give enough attention to the basic team tasks and overlooks the individual needs of the other team members.

Check as many as apply to you .

Most of the time you:

But sometimes you:

Help the team establish goals, objectives Do not give attention to the basic team and action plans tasks

Pitch in to help out other members who need help

Are willing to work outside your defined role to help the team

Fail to periodically re-visit or challenge the mission or goals

Do not focus on the individual needs of team members

Are willing to share the limelight with Publicly complain about team failures other team members

Work hard to achieve team goals even if

Do not give sufficient attention to the you don't agree with them

process by which goals are reached

| 26 Communicator -Process Oriented

The communicator is a process oriented member who is an effective listener. You are a facilitator of involvement, conflict resolution, consensus-building, feedback and the building of an informal, relaxed climate. Most people see you as a positive people person but they find that, at times, you may see process as an end in itself. The communicator does not confront other team members or not give enough emphasis to completing task assignments and making progress toward team goals.

Check as many as apply to you .

Most of the time you:

But sometimes you:

Help the team relax and have

fun by joking, laughing, and discussing personal interests Step in to resolve process problems

(e.g. conflict, lack of involvement)

Listen attentively (while withholding judgment) to all viewpoints

See team process and climate as an end in itself

Fail to challenge or contradict other team members

Do not recognise the importance of task accomplishment

Recognise and praise other team Overuse humour and other process members for their efforts techniques

Encourage all team members to

Do not give enough emphasis to long-participate in team discussions and

range planning decisions

| 27 Challenger -Question Oriented

The challenger is the team member who questions the goals, methods and even the ethics of the team. You are willing to disagree with the leader or higher authority and encourage the team to take well conceived risks. Most people appreciate the value of your candour and openness although, at times, you may not know when to back off an issue. The challenger often becomes self-righteous and tries to push the team too far.

Check as many as apply to you.

Most of the time you:

But sometimes you:

Are willing to disagree with the team leader

Candidly share your views about the work of the team

Challenge the team to take well-considered risks Do not know when to back off

Push the team to unreasonable risks

Become rigid and inflexible

Push the team to set high ethical standards Paint yourself into a corner for teamwork

Are willing to back off when your views are

Are too direct in communicating with not accepted

other team members.

If you have two primary styles: Contributor and Collaborator

You are well focused on both the short and longterm aspects of the job. You will do whatever it takes to complete the immediate task and reach the team's overall goals. Such things as sharing your expertise, training, pitching in and working outside your designated role comes naturally to you.

You focus on the strategic and tactical issues which mean that you may not give sufficient attention to the internal dynamics of the team. You may be so focused on the work that you may fail to raise important questions about the team's efforts.

Contributor and Communicator

Some may say this is the best of all possible combinations because you emphasize both task and process – getting the job done and how it gets done. You push the team to do excellent work and you are able to facilitate a supportive work environment by encouraging involvement, using your listening skills and resolving differences. At times, however, you may lose sight of the big picture – where your team is going. You may be reluctant to criticize anything about the team for fear of disrupting the positive climate.

Contributor and Challenger

You bring to the team an emphasis on delivering quality work and meeting deadlines combined with an ability to question the team's tasks and process. You push the team to set higher standards, live up to those standards and to periodically question both the standard and the work produced. While you like to get things done, you are willing to consider alternatives when legitimate questions are raised. You may push the team to unrealistic standards, excessive analysis and fail to see the need to move forward expeditiously toward the longterm goals. Extensive questioning combined with a strong task focus may result in a lack of concern for internal team climate.

Collaborator and Communicator

Some people may refer to you as a participative visionary because of your emphasis on longterm goals combined with a need to get team members involved in the development and implementation of the goals. Your willingness to pitch in and work outside your defined role meshes nicely with the capability to help establish a supportive and positive team climate.

At times you may not give sufficient attention to the immediate task or short-term objectives of the team. You also may not be concerned with the need to create a climate which welcomes critical comments about the team's goals and internal dynamics.

Collaborator and Challenger

You bring to the team a focus on the future and constant reminders to stay on track coupled with a willingness to question the team's purpose, goals and methods. When necessary, you can be the team's risk taker as you suggest that the team take a hard look at some innovative and far-reaching ideas.

However, if you go too far or are confrontational you run the risk of being disruptive to the team's dynamics. Your strong emphasis on the future and the big picture may mean you become impatient with other team members who are concerned with the team's near-term deliverables and the maintenance of a positive climate.

Communicator and Challenger

Your primary contributions are on the process side of the team's success. You insure that the members work well together while you push the team to address important questions about their strengths and weaknesses.

However, you run the risk of seeing process as an end in itself. You need to keep in mind that the team must set longterm goals and work hard to deliver high quality products and services that satisfy current customer needs.

If you have three primary styles...

Look at the strengths of each of these styles and recognise that you use each of them with about equal frequency. You have the flexibility to use many behaviours as required by the needs of your team.

However, you may want to look at the one piece of the puzzle which is missing. If your least active style is Contributor, ask yourself if you are sufficiently task-oriented. If your least active style is Collaborator, are you sufficiently focused on the longterm aspects of the team's work? If your least active style is Communicator, are you adequately concerned about developing and maintaining a positive team climate?

If your least active style is

Challenger, do you see yourself as willing to candidly question the team's mission, goals, work quality, internal climate and other important factors?

If your results show a uniform pattern...

If your scores on all four styles are within three points of each other you have the capacity to easily use the strengths of all four styles. Since you are not strongly committed to one style you have the flexibility to provide the team with what is needed at the appropriate time. You should also have the ability to easily relate to other team members.

However, your impact as a team player may be diffused because you have no strong preference for one type. Other team members may find you hard to read and understand because you lack a dominant style.

Increasing your Effectiveness as a Team Player

Affirm your strengths. Acknowledge that you're O.K. Look for ways to add to your strengths. Be the best Contributor, Collaborator, Communicator, or Challenger.

Look for teams and organisations where your strengths are appreciated; avoid those situations where they are not valued. For example, Challengers should avoid conservative, risk-adverse environments.

Extend your repertoire by incorporating more of the strengths of other styles. For example, if your least active style is Communicator, develop a plan to increase your skills as a group facilitator.

Develop your ability to analyse your team. When you observe the need for a particular strength (i.e. to challenge complacency) provides an appropriate intervention and/or encourage others to do the same.

Be aware of your tendencies to become an ineffective team player – to use your strengths to excess. If possible, work with a colleague or use feedback from the Team Player Survey provided by colleagues to identify your potential excesses, when they are likely to appear and what you can do, perhaps with the help of others, to minimize the tendencies.

If you ask colleagues to complete the styles for you, the results may be recorded here.

Your strengths as a team player

Things that decrease your effectiveness as a team player

Ways you can improve as a team player

14: The Trust/Relationship Model

The objective of this model to demonstrate issues related to group dynamics, team building, and problem solving, under a severe time constraint. When working with teams, observe carefully and afterwards as the following questions: Who emerged as the leader? Why?

Who played what other roles within the group?

What other roles needed to be played but received low priority?

What problems did the group encounter?

How were they overcome?

How could they be handled differently?

What was the effect of severe time pressure on the group's motivation and on its ultimate productivity? What about the absence (non-participance) of the trainer?

15: Creativity

As paradoxical as it may sound, success sometimes poses a serious threat to team innovation. A team that experiences a long period of success uninterrupted by difficult challenges is likely to find that its members are firmly nestled within their collective comfort zones.

Lateral Thinking vs. Vertical Thinking

The emphasis in education has always been on logical, sequential thinking which is by tradition the only proper use of information. Creativity is vaguely encouraged as some mysterious talent. Lateral thinking is not a substitute for the traditional logical thinking but a necessary complement. Logical thinking is quite incomplete without lateral thinking.

Lateral thinking makes quite a different use of information from logical (vertical) thinking. For instance, the need to be right at every step is absolutely essential to logical thinking, but quite unnecessary in lateral thinking. It is sometimes necessary to be wrong in order to dislocate a pattern sufficiently for it to re-form in a new way. With logical thinking one makes immediate judgments, but with lateral thinking one may delay judgments in order to allow information to interact and generate new ideas.

What are some ways that we

can encourage team creativity? What are some ways that we

can encourage team creativity? Use energizers Brainstorm Have meeting in a different

place Invite group speakers in

16: The Six Thinking Hats

DeBono's Hats

Edward DeBono wrote a book that has become legendary in management training. It is known as the six thinking hats. The purpose of the six thinking hats is to unscramble thinking so that a thinker is able to use one thinking mode at a time instead of trying to do everything at once. The best analogy is that of color printing, where each color is printed separately, and in the end they all come together.

The six thinking hats method is designed to switch thinking away from the normal argument style to a map-making style. This makes thinking a two-stage process. The first stage is to make the map. The second stage is to choose a route on the map. If the map is good enough, the best route will often become obvious. As in the color printing

analogy, each of the six hats puts one type of thinking on the map. White Hat: virgin white, pure facts, figures, and information.

Red Hat: seeing red, emotions and feelings, also hunch and intuition.

Black Hat: devil's advocate, negative judgment, asks why it will not work.

Yellow Hat: sunshine, brightness and optimism, positive, constructive, opportunity. Green Hat: fertile, creative, plants

springing from seeds, movement,

provocation.

Blue Hat: cool and in control,

orchestra conductor, thinking about

thinking.

The jargon of the six thinking hats serves a very useful purpose; it is the very artificiality of the hats which is their greatest value. They provide a formality and a convenience for requesting a certain type of thinking either of oneself or of others. They establish rules for the game of thinking. Anyone playing the game will be aware of these rules.

The more the hats are used, the more they will become part of the thinking culture. Everyone in an organisation should learn the basic format so that it can become part of the culture. This makes focused thinking much more powerful. Instead of wasting time in argument or drifting discussion, there will be a brisk and disciplined approach.

At first, people might feel a little awkward about using the different hats, but this awkwardness soon passes as the convenience of the system becomes apparent. The first use of the hats will be in the form of an occasional request to use one hat or to switch from the black hat to a different color.

Value of the Six Thinking Hats

The great value of the hats is that they provide thinking roles. A thinker can take pride in playacting each of these roles. Without the formality of the hats, some thinkers would remain permanently stuck in one mode (usually the black hat mode).

Within any organisation, the more people who learn the format, the more usable it becomes. The truth is that we do not have a simple language as a control system for our thinking. If we feel that we are intelligent enough to do without such a system, then we should consider that such a system would make that intelligence even more effective. A person with a natural talent in any physical or mental area will benefit even more than others from discipline.

White Hat Thinking

Imagine a computer that gives the facts and figures for which it is asked. The computer is neutral and objective. It does not offer interpretations or opinions. When wearing the white thinking hat, the thinker imitates a computer.

The person requesting the information should use focusing questions in order to obtain information or information gaps.

In practice there is a two-tiered system of information. The first tier contains checked and proven facts: first-class facts. The second tier contains facts that are believed to be true, but have not yet been fully checked: second-class facts.

There is a spectrum of likelihood ranging from always true to never true. In between, there are usable levels such as by and large, sometimes, and occasional. Information of this sort can be put out under the white hat, provided the appropriate frame is used to indicate the likelihood.

White hat thinking provides discipline and direction. The thinker strives to be more neutral and more objective in the presentation of information.

You can be asked to put on the white thinking hat or you can ask someone to put it on. You can also choose to put it on, or to take it off.

The white (absence of color) also indicates neutrality

Red Hat Thinking

Wearing the red hat allows the thinker to say: "This is how I feel about the matter."

The red hat legitimizes the emotions and feelings as an important part of thinking. The red hat makes feelings visible so that they can become part of the thinking map and also part of the value system that chooses the route on the map.

The red hat provides a convenient method for a thinker to switch in and out of the feeling mode in a way that is not possible without such a device. The red hat allows a thinker to explore the feelings of others by asking for a red hat view. When a thinker is using the red hat there should never be any attempt to justify the feelings or to provide a logical basis for them.

The red hat covers two broad types of feeling. First, there are the ordinary emotions as we know them, ranging from the strong emotions such as fear and dislike to the more subtle ones such as suspicion. Secondly, there are the complex judgments that go into such types of feeling, such as hunch, intuition, sense, taste, aesthetic feeling, and other not visibly justified types of feelings. Where an opinion has a large measure of this type of feeling, it can also fit under the red hat.

Black Hat Thinking

Black hat thinking is specifically concerned with negative assessment. The black hat thinker points out what is wrong, incorrect, and in error. The black hat thinker points out how something does not fit experience or accepted knowledge. The black hat thinker points out why something will not work. The black hat thinker points out risks and dangers. The black hat thinker points out faults in a design.

Black hat thinking is not argument and should never be seen as such. It is an objective attempt to put the negative elements onto the map. Black hat thinking may point out the errors in the thinking procedure and method itself. Black hat thinking may judge an idea against the past to see how well it fits what is known. It may also project an idea into the future to see what might fail or go wrong.

Black hat thinking can ask negative questions but it should not be used to cover negative indulgence or negative feelings. This is a red hat function.

Yellow Hat Thinking

Yellow hat thinking is positive and constructive. The yellow color symbolizes sunshine, brightness, and optimism. Yellow hat thinking is concerned with positive assessment, just as black hat thinking is concerned with negative assessment.

Yellow hat thinking covers a positive spectrum ranging from the logical and practical at one end to dreams, visions, and hopes at the other end.

Yellow hat thinking probes and explores for value and benefit.

Yellow hat thinking strives to find logical support for this value and benefit. Yellow hat thinking seeks to put forward soundly based optimism, but is not restricted to this, provided other types of optimism are appropriately labelled.

Yellow hat thinking is constructive and generative. It is from yellow hat thinking that come concrete proposals and suggestions. Yellow hat thinking is concerned with making things happen.

Effectiveness is the aim of yellow hat, constructive thinking.

Yellow hat thinking can be speculative and opportunity-seeking. Yellow hat thinking also permits visions and dreams.

Green Hat Thinking

The person who puts on the green hat is going to use the mechanisms of creative thinking. Everyone involved is required to treat the output as a creative output. Ideally both the thinker and listener should be wearing green hats.

The green colour symbolizes fertility, growth, and the nurturing of seeds.

The search for alternatives is a fundamental aspect of green hat thinking. There is a need to go beyond the known, the obvious, and the satisfactory. The green hat thinker pauses at any point to consider whether there might be alternative ideas at that point. There need be no reason for this pause. In green hat thinking, the format of movement replaces that of judgment. The thinker seeks to move forward from one idea in order to reach a new idea.

Provocation is an important part of green hat thinking. A provocation is used to take us out of our usual patterns of thinking. There are many ways of setting up provocations, including the random word method.

Blue Hat Thinking

The blue hat is the control hat. The blue hat thinker organizes the thinking itself. Blue hat thinking is thinking about the thinking needed to explore the subject. The blue hat thinker is like the conductor of the orchestra. The blue hat thinker calls for the use of the other hats.

The blue hat thinker defines the subjects toward which the thinking is to be directed. The blue hat thinker sets the focus, defines the problems, and shapes the questions. Blue hat thinking determines the thinking tasks that are to be carried through and is responsible for summaries, overviews, and conclusions. These can take place from time to time in the course of the thinking, and also at the end.

The blue hat monitors the thinking, enforces discipline, and ensures that the rules of the game are observed. Blue hat thinking stops argument and insists on map type of thinking.

Blue hat thinking may be used for occasional interjections which request one or another hat. Blue hat thinking may also be used to set up a step-by-step sequence of thinking operations which are to be followed, just as a dance follows the choreography.

Even when the specific blue hat thinking role is assigned to one person, it is still open to anyone to offer blue hat comments and suggestions.

17: Team

Shaping Factors

The Four Factors

There are four factors that interact to shape a team's performance. These factors are:

Problems related to internal

relationships Problems related to team focus Problems related to change and

adaptability

Problems related to external relationships

Effective problem-solving involves a three-way process of: Exploration Analysis Evaluation

18: Analysis

Many teams fail to utilize this phase of problem-solving. They don't stop to consider alternative approaches to analysing and reviewing a problem. Some ways to get your group to pause and reflect include: Review all the potential solutions to make sure they are understood. Generate a list of pros and cons for each option. Compile a list of questions the team would use to review each option. Encourage team members to identify one benefit and one drawback to each solution before discarding or selecting it. Set a time limit so the team doesn't get bogged down in the process.

19: Evaluation

In this phase the team evaluates the solutions they have generated. Encourage the team to discuss the relative merits of each solution before attempting to rate them.

Suggestions for this process include: Most solutions must meet a number of criteria in order to be deemed effective. List the criteria and discuss them before evaluating solutions. These can include cost, time required for completion, ease of implementation, support of senior management, impact on other groups such as customers or suppliers. Sometimes team members can become attached to their own solution. The multi-voting technique is one way to encourage a more balanced approach.

Some easy ways to evaluate ideas include: Sort solutions by category. Identify the advantages and disadvantages to each solution. Identify what you like about each idea and what you don't like. Number your ideas in order, from the one that seems the most feasible to the one that seems the least feasible. This is useful for small problems.

You can also use a criteria checkerboard. Our criteria are listed across the top and the options are listed down the side. You can then rank each option based on various criteria. This is a great option for thorough evaluation.

Is this do-able? Do I like it as a solution? Is it affordable? Have marketing team come up with new product Fire CEO and CIO; promote self Double size of factory to make more product Close factory Switch to paperless system Hire Mickey Mouse to promote product. Create new TV commercials Develop liaison with Nails We can now easily see which solutions are possible, which are out of the question, and which ones need more

investigation.

20: Other Problem-Solving Techniques

Another tool for solving problems is the reframing technique. This involves redefining a problem by placing it within a completely different context. Quite often our perception of a problem dictates the types of solutions we come up with for

resolving the issue.

The following steps can help you apply the reframing method to your own team problems: 1) Begin by writing a brief statement of your problem on a flip chart. 2) Next, challenge team members to come up with two or three different ways of rethinking and reworking this statement. For example, if your team's problem is, "How can we meet together more often to manage team projects?" you could suggest that another way of looking at the problem is, "How can we each provide input on our plans despite different schedules and locations?"

3) Discuss the different lines of inquiry presented by the reframed statements. Perhaps instead of scheduling meetings everyone can attend, we can purchase Groupware software, so team members can provide their input no matter where they are.

Another version of this technique involves dividing your team up into two or three sub-teams. Assign each team to brainstorm potential solutions to different definitions of the problem. Later, bring them together to compare their lists of solutions.

The Problem-Solving Toolkit

There are some techniques we can use to help us at every stage of the problem-solving process.

The Lasso

Can we use a lasso technique to tighten up our definition of the real problem? When would a lasso be useful? "How can we improve communication in our group?" Let's tighten up that word communication. What do we mean by it? "How can we get our work done more efficiently?" What do we mean by efficiently?

Is/Is Not

The Is/Is Not technique lets us eliminate assumptions and emphasize facts. For example, someone says, "The telephone system isn't working." You might ask them to list what isn't working and list what is working. Perhaps all functions are affected, or perhaps only incoming calls have been affected.

Graphics

A diagram allows us to see things visually. For example, think of the Kohlberg's six stages that we looked at yesterday. These can be depicted visually as well as verbally. For some, the diagram was more beneficial than the discussion. For some, one type of categorizing is better than another type of categorizing.

Basic Questions

Who, what, where, when, why, how?

Break it Up

Breaking a problem down into mini-problems or sub-problems lets you eat the elephant one bite at a time. For example, let's say you are having problems with your garden. If we break this problem down into separate problems, you can deal with slugs, acid soil, and no rain. Then we can deal with each issue separately.

Force Field Analysis

Force field analysis will examine restraining forces (forces that discourage the problem) vs. sustaining forces (forces that encourage a problem). Take an example like John arriving late for work.

What are the restraining forces?

Boss is angry He's behind with his work

Parking spots all gone.

What are the sustaining forces? Gets to sleep an extra 15 minutes Takes the kids to the babysitter Misses traffic on way to work

How can we weaken the sustaining forces and strengthen or shore up some of the restraining forces?

Generalize/Exemplify

This allows us to move from the general to the specific or vice versa to make certain we are seeing the

situation from all sides. Expert Avoid rumours and don't

reinvent the wheel. Ask, "Who can we invite in to talk about this?" or "Who has dealt with this before?"

21:

Interventions

Problems and Solutions

Following are eight common situations with suggestions of what a leader can do to prevent loss of control or to handle it if it occurs.

Problem 1

A team member makes a comment or asks a question that is off the subject.

How to Prevent It

Be sure that the objective or subject being discussed is clear to all participants. The leader should write the objective on a whiteboard or flip chart before or during the meeting.

How to Handle It

The leader must handle this problem to the satisfaction of all concerned. The first requirement is for the leader to recognize what is happening. Some leaders are so glad to get participation that they don't recognize when the participant is off track. The second requirement is to handle it in such a way that the participant harbors no resentment. Therefore, tact is important.

Here are some suggested approaches: The leader apologizes to the group with a phrase like: "I guess I haven't made the objective (or question) clear. Let me state it again." The leader tactfully asks the participant: "How does your comment (or question) tie in with the subject we are discussing?"

The leader tactfully sidesteps the comment or question with a phrase such as, "That's an interesting comment (or question) but it's on a subject that's a bit different. I wonder if I could see you after the meeting to discuss it."

Problem 2

A side conversation takes place between two participants.

How to Prevent It

Be sure the subject being discussed is clear to all participants. Also, be sure the meeting is both interesting and

beneficial to everyone there

How to Handle It

If a side conversation develops, the leader should assume that it's on the subject. Even if it is an incorrect assumption, you are giving the benefit of the doubt to the participants and thereby maintaining their positive attitudes.

Here are some possible approaches:

Pause for a few seconds without calling particular attention to them.

The silence may cut short the conversation. Look at your notes or do something similar which implies that the pause is for your benefit.

You might even take a short break; the side conversation may indicate restlessness on the part of the participants.

Ask participants directly if they would like to share their ideas with group. The manner in which you do it should clearly indicate your assumption that they are discussing the subject of the meeting.

Problem 3

Team participants are distracted.

How to Prevent It

Keep the meeting so interesting and productive that participants are not easily distracted. Sometimes distractions can be prevented if the meeting is held at the proper place and the proper time.

How to Handle It

If all or nearly all of the participants are distracted, then stop the meeting and recognize the distraction. Don't try to compete with it. Perhaps a break is in order to let people look at the distraction and discuss it. Even though it costs time, it would not be productive to keep the meeting going.

If a small minority of the group is distracted, the leader may choose to ignore it and continue with the meeting. It might be a good place to summarize what has happened so far. Another approach is to stop the meeting and encourage everyone to notice the distraction and then continue the meeting with full attention from all participants.

Problem 4

Two or more participants argue with each other.

How to Prevent It

Clarify objectives and topics under discussion so that off-the-subject arguing does not

take place. To prevent on-the-subject arguing, the leader could say:

"It's not who is right, but what is right that is important."

"We want opinions from both of you. Say what you think, but also be willing to

listen to and consider the ideas of others."

How to Handle It

The leader could say, "It's not who is right, but what is right," and then concentrate on the thoughts presented and not the people who presented them. The leader can stop the meeting and call attention to the objectives and the need to move toward accomplishing them.

The important thing is to regain control of the meeting without alienating either of the arguers. If the argument is on the subject, the leader should either take a stand or call on the participants for opinions or facts. If the argument is off-track, the leader should restate the objective or topic being discussed.

Problem 5

One or two participants dominate the meeting.

How to Prevent It

If the problem can be anticipated, the leader should start the meeting by encouraging all to participate. If the leader knows a particular person who might dominate, he can contact the person prior to the meeting and suggest restraint in participation so that others can take part.

Calling on people by name instead of asking for volunteers can also prevent the domination by an individual. If the leader is going to call on people to participate, s/he should be sure that the person can answer the question. One of the ways to do this is to ask all participants to write down their answers to a question.

For example, a leader might ask: "What ideas do you have for improving quality? Will each person please write down a few ideas that come to mind?" Then, the leader can call on almost anyone to answer the question and avoid those who tend to dominate. In all cases, the leader should say the name of the person before asking the question.

How to Handle It

The leader should handle the problem without embarrassing the enthusiastic participant. Here are some possible approaches: Tactfully interrupt with a statement like, "I think we get your point, Chris; now let's see what someone else (Dale) has to say." Give the person a specific job to do. For example, "Pat, I wonder if you'll use the flip chart to record the ideas from the group." Interrupt the person with a phrase like, "Jean, I hate to interrupt you, but time is running short and I'd like to get the thoughts of the other people."

Problem 6

Participants get nervous and are anxious to leave.

How to Prevent It

Conclude the meeting on time or don't set a closing time. Inform the group, "The meeting will probably be over about 3:30 but we will stay until we solve the problem." When setting an approximate closing time, give yourself plenty of time Also, try to schedule meetings when people are free from pressures to do other things. Perhaps they are anxious to leave because they feel they are wasting their time and are dissatisfied with the meeting. Be sure you plan and run a productive meeting.

How to Handle It

When people become restless, do something to prevent a disaster.

Here are some possibilities: Do something to renew their interest in the meeting, such as a project for them to

do, a question to stimulate attention and interest, or an energetic activity. Conclude the meeting and set a time for the next meeting. Give them a break (perhaps they have been sitting too long). If possible, give them refreshments to help renew their enthusiasm.

Problem 7

The participants refuse to participate.

How to Prevent It

Be sure the meeting climate encourages participation. Don't alienate or embarrass those who do participate. Keep the meeting interesting and productive so participants are attentive and concerned.

How to Handle It

The approach depends on the reason why people won't participate. If the problem is disinterest or boredom, the leader must get their attention. You can call on people by name if you are sure they can answer the question.

To encourage participation, the leader must be very careful not to embarrass those who do take part, even if comments are foolish, off-track, or derogatory. The toughest problem to handle is group hostility toward the leader. It might be possible to form buzz groups of three to four people and give them a specific assignment. The other possibility is to move to another subject and get them so attentive and absorbed that they will forget their hostility.

Problem 8

The leader gets off the subject.

How to Prevent It

Don't get off the subject! The leader must be well prepared and clear on objectives as well as on the approach to be used to accomplish the objectives. Questions to be asked and information to be presented by the leader should be planned beforehand.

Often the leader is drawn off the subject by a comment or question from a participant. Be alert to this possibility. To prevent being sidetracked, the leader should quickly evaluate each comment and question that comes from the group. If it is not on the topic, call attention to that fact and postpone discussion until an appropriate time, during or after the meeting.

How to Handle It

If the leader realizes he is off the subject an apology is in order. You could use a phrase like: "I'm afraid I got carried away and got off the subject. I wish we had time to continue but we have an objective to accomplish. The other topic will have to wait for an appropriate time." If a participant notices that the leader is off the track, the participant should tactfully call it to the attention of the leader.

Case Study

A Hidden Agenda

"Look, you've had more than enough time," exclaimed Marla, the director of planning, to Bob, the manager of production control. "I put you in charge of this committee so you could get everyone's ideas and generate some intelligent solutions."

"I wasn't able to get past the first point on the agenda," replied Bob. "I tried, but it felt like I was on a treadmill. I just couldn't get the staff to come to any decisions. Mike kept telling the group our ideas would never fly. He said he's tried them all before. Barbara put down every suggestion I made, and seemed to enjoy making me look like a fool. Sam just sat there like a dummy and never said anything at all. I can certainly see why he's been passed over for a promotion. And I know Jeff is a bright enough guy, but he only talked about the baseball game last night."

Bob sighed and continued, "It was a rough afternoon, Marla.

Everyone seemed to be working at odds with each other."

People often use meetings such as Bob's to satisfy their own needs at the expense of others.

An awareness of the hidden agendas and needs people bring to a meeting can help the group leader understand the group's dynamics and better direct the meeting.

What might you suggest to Bob as a way he could get different results from his meeting?

Possibilities are:

Begin the meeting with an icebreaker to get everyone working as a team.

Politely thank Mike for his input, but encourage other opinions.

Specifically ask Sam for his input.

Remind Jeff of what this meeting is for.

Begin the meeting with a statement of objectives to start things off on the right

track.

22: Resolving Conflict

Ways to Resolve Conflict

The easiest way to deal with difficult people is to stay as far away from them as possible. This is great advice, but it's not always an option. In fact, if you avoid dealing with a touchy problem, it's not going to go away. In all probability, avoiding it will just make the problem worse.

Most of us dislike conflict. We want everything to go smoothly at work, and we want everyone to like one another and to like us. But is that a realistic scenario? Most of the time, it isn't.

And indeed, conflict can be a very positive thing for you and your workgroup. Why? If you try to ignore all conflict, and keep the anger and frustration tamped down, it can smoulder underground, until all of a sudden, it blazes up out of control. This creates a problem that never needed to happen in the first place.

A manager who avoids conflict sets a workgroup or an organisation on a calamitous course. For example, maybe you have an employee who is constantly late for work, but you let the situation ride without dealing with it. Not only will you reinforce bad work habits, but you will lose the respect of those who see you not dealing with the conflict.

On the other hand, you can't go around confronting everyone and everything. If you read the riot act to an employee who is late for work for the first time, you won't earn respect. You will be seen as a tyrant. This leads to the questions: when do you ignore and when do you confront?

Here are some guidelines that might help you. You should consider confronting employees when: An employee's performance impedes your organisation's goals or slows down production. You determine an employee's actions will impede your own success. Ask yourself: Can I afford to ignore this?

Other employees ask you to intercede. Internal bickering can cause low morale.

The people involved ask you to intercede because they are unable to resolve their

differences themselves. You also have to stop and ask yourself if you are doing

anything that contributes to this problem.

Even members of the most exceptional team will occasionally find themselves locked in conflict. Sometimes you, as team leader, are reluctant to ask for your team's help in resolving conflicts because you feel that the burden for conflict resolution rests entirely on your shoulders. This is not only inaccurate; it can also be detrimental to you and your group in a number of ways. Team leaders who appoint themselves sole arbitrators and harmonizers for their

teams are headed for disaster. Resolving Internal Conflict When a team is in internal

conflict, what can you do? Remove all masks. Sincerity is the ideal mindset

for conflict resolution. If we cannot achieve sincerity, at least aim for authenticity. Being authentic means not hiding behind masks, but showing up as yourself.

Identify the real problem.

Often the real problem lurks somewhere behind or underneath the apparent problem. Conflict will not be resolved until the process can address the true problem.

Give up a must-win attitude.

When players compete too hard all the time, a good deal of life passes them by. They go to the wall to defend a position and will go down screaming, taking as many people with them as possible. Conflicts are not won; they are

resolved.

Develop several possible solutions.

In reality, most situations can go in a variety of directions. It may be up to you to create the choices.

Evaluate options and select a solution.

Choose the best workable choice from the possibilities you have gathered. The goal is to choose the possibility that will hold the most for both you and the other party.

Communicate in a manner certain to be received.

A great idea goes nowhere if you don't communicate it to others. Only when someone feels you have heard their message are they ready to listen to yours, so listen actively. Communication that is full of anger, lacks clarity, and has no commitment behind it, will not

bring about action.

Acknowledge and preserve the value in the relationship.

Resolving conflict is about preserving relationships. If that were not so, people would not try to resolve their conflicts. Disputes would just fester and eventually destroy the relationship.

To provide a temporary time-out for individuals who feel they are locked in conflict, ask

questions such as these: How do you think we are doing? Are we making progress on this issue? Do you feel your views are being heard?

Preventing Internal Conflict

To prevent internal conflict, keep in mind what Dale Carnegie said: Talk about what the other person is interested in. Be genuinely interested in people. Tell them to ask WIIFM (What's In It For Me?). Make them feel important. See things from the other person's point

of view. Smile! •

23: SWOT Analysis

The Meaning of SWOT

SWOT stands for Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. SWOT Analysis is used for understanding your Strengths and Weaknesses and for looking at the Opportunities and Threats you face. In a business sense, it can help you carve out your niche in the market and can help your business grow in the right way. In a team sense, it is used for identifying a team's strengths and weaknesses, and for areas of growth and potential problems that lie ahead. It can even be used in a personal sense to develop your career.

It is a good idea to perform a SWOT analysis of your team at pre¬defined points in time. These points depend on the type of team and how often it meets. For example, a team responsible for publishing a daily company newsletter may want to do a SWOT analysis as often as every two weeks. If the team was responsible for publishing a quarterly newsletter, however, the analysis would probably only be necessary once or twice a year.

As well, a SWOT analysis of the company can also help direct the team and make it more productive. For example, if the newsletter team knows that the company has a great opportunity to extend its market into Canada, it may discuss ways that the team can help the company achieve this goal.

Case Study

Hansen and Hansen Case Study

Background

At the June 12 staff meeting of the Information Systems (IS) division, Division Director Martha Simmons expressed great concern about the recently released results of the Corporate Customer Attitude Survey (see Exhibit 2). The survey measures the attitudes of both internal and external customers. In particular, Simmons pointed to the low level of satisfaction among users with the way they are treated by the IS staff. Simmons was especially upset because the percentage of favourable responses among division users was much less than overall company results, and lower than other divisions reporting to the same vice president.

Several managers in the meeting told Simmons not to worry because most of the dissatisfaction probably comes from the employees in the marketing area. Although data are not available for specific work groups, these managers feel that the new system deployed earlier this year stirred up this discontent. In fact, one of the managers says, "If the marketing group's data was separated out, the overall results would be much different."

Simmons is not impressed. "I want those numbers up next year," she declares. As a result, she appoints a Quality Action Team (QAT) to investigate the customer service problem in the division. Subsequently, she names Gena Gallo as chairperson of the team Gallo is a surprise choice to head the QAT. She is a marketing specialist with about two years with the company. Gallo came over from one of our competitors, Crocker and Ramble. In that time she has impressed everyone with her technical expertise and willingness to work hard and long to meet project deadlines. Marketing is one of IS's principal users.

Gallo is, by all accounts, a real mover and shaker. Nevertheless, she is not a people person and more than once she has become impatient in meetings with ES developers.

Other members of the QAT include:

Jack Cannon, Personnel Specialist

Don Baker, Senior Systems Analyst

Barry Gordon, Programmer II

Steve Chin, Director of Business Planning

(See Exhibit 1 for a more detailed description of each member.)

A few days later Simmons meets with Gallo to tell her about the Quality Action Team, her role as chairperson, and the names of the other team members. She explains that the QAT has an important charge because she is very unhappy with the results.

"Frankly," she says, "I'm just plain embarrassed."

When Gallo asks what type of programs she wants, Simmons replies, "Oh, that's up to you and the team. You're empowered. I just want to see results and I want to see something by August 4."

Simmons does agree to send a memo to the other members informing them of their appointment to the QAT and to expect to hear from Gallo soon.

Shortly thereafter Gallo sends a memo to the QAT announcing the first meeting of the team. In the memo she asks people to begin thinking about customer service problems and some ways of attacking those problems for discussion at the meeting.

### Chapter Two

The easiest way to deal with difficult people is to stay as far away from them as you can, suggests Robert Bramson Ph.D., organisational psychologist, management consultant with Bramson Gill Associates, and author of Coping with Difficult People.

Great advice for those who work by themselves at home; it's a doable option. But the vast majority of people can't avoid interactions with a wide range of personality types, including some who are inconsiderate, stubborn, incorrigible, inappeasable, indecent, or downright sleazy. In fact, success sometimes depends on your ability to work well with all the above.

At the end of this , you

will be able to:

Recognise how your own attitudes and actions impact on others

Find new and effective techniques for dealing with difficult people

Develop coping strategies for dealing with difficult people and difficult situations

Identify those times when you have the right to walk away from a difficult situation

Learn some techniques for

managing and dealing with anger

Part Two: Reciprocal Relationships

Interpersonal relationships have a reciprocal quality about them. In a relationship with another person our expectations are likely to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, if Manager A believes that Employee B/Client B is dishonest and untrustworthy, the manager/clinician is apt to communicate these suspicions to the employee or client through verbal and nonverbal behavior such as unwarranted questioning, staring, and unfriendly facial expressions.

The more the client detects these untrusting behaviours the more he or she will feel uncomfortable with the manager, and as a result he or she may not fully disclose information to the manager, whose expectations about the client are then fulfilled.

The power of reciprocal expectations or self-fulfilling prophecies is frightening. For example, a professor experimented with three of her college classes to see if she could cause a self-fulfilling prophecy. When she graded the first exam, the average grade was the same for three of her business and professional communication books. When she returned the papers to the first class, she praised them for their high grades and intelligent, thoughtful answers. While returning papers to the second class, the professor neither praised nor criticised the class. However, while returning papers to the third class, she severely reprimanded the students for having the lowest grades she had ever seen and for giving thoughtless, undeveloped answers. No further mention of the exam grades was mentioned and the classes continued as usual. The results of the second exam were surprising. The grades from the class that had been praised were much better than on the first exam; the class that was neither praised nor criticised was about the same; and the grades of the class that had been severely criticised were much worse than on the first exam. Feeling bad about what had happened, the professor told the class what she had done. Nobody believed her. The improved class said they made better grades because they were better students. The class with the poor grades said she was just trying to make them feel better; they knew they were truly poor students. Although there is an element of risk involved, we can predict and achieve positive results.

How do you think we can achieve better results or performance from our clients?

Expect more and you get more, especially if you are clear at the outset what your expectations are.

Take the advice of Peter Drucker, the management guru, and praise the client for the things they are doing right.

Be aware of and on the lookout for destructive cycles in your conversations with clients, and initiate a break from that cycle.

Somebody has to initiate the move to a more positive or constructive cycle and you as the manager/supervisor will be the more likely choice. For employees, remember that clients may have a low self-image and be uncomfortable with someone they perceive has more power. They may view decision-making as a personal threat, and prefer to be led by the hand rather than make a decision. Many clients expect to get a raw deal from life, and if they are unhappy with the service they are receiving, they won't complain, although they may try to shift to another counsellor or another organisation, without ever saying why.

Part Three: Dealing with Change

Part Four: The Agreement Frame

Dale Carnegie has written what many people feel is still the definitive book on dealing with difficult people: How to Win Friends and Influence People. This book is still in print. It has gone through a great many revisions and edits to keep it up to date, but his essential message is, "You can only get people to change when they want to change."

Anthony Robbins has taken the same ideas and shown us how we can use them to be more successful in our lives. In his book Unlimited Power he cites the example of a woman who was trying to convince a hotel clerk to let her have her room several hours after check out. Her husband had been injured in a skiing accident and she wanted him to rest until transportation was arranged.

The desk clerk was politely but firmly giving her all the reasons why it wasn't possible.

The woman listened respectfully but kept coming up with even more compelling counter reasons. She went from charm and feminine persuasion to reason and logic, without ever losing her temper or getting haughty. Because she was flexible enough to continue producing new arguments and new behavior, the clerk finally gave her a rueful smile and said, "Madam, I think you are winning."

In Robbins' view, there is no such thing as resistance; rather, there are inflexible communicators who push at the wrong time and in the wrong direction. A good communicator senses resistance, finds points of agreement, aligns him/herself with them, and then redirects the communication in the way he/she wants it to go.

Remember that certain words create resistance. What are they? "But" is a biggie that we use almost without thinking. It is probably one of the most destructive words in the English language "That's true, but..." sounds like you are saying, "It's not true and furthermore, it's irrelevant." What if you said instead, "That's true and here's something else that's true as well..." Robbins, and many other communicators, suggests we become skillful at using what he calls "The Agreement Frame." This is a communication tool that helps you communicate exactly how you feel about an issue, without compromising your integrity in any way, and without disagreeing with the person. The Agreement Frame is made up of three phrases you can use in any communication to respect the person you are disagreeing with, maintain rapport, share with him/her what you feel is true, and yet never resist his/her opinion in any way. Here are the three phrases:

I appreciate and... I respect and... I agree and...

Example: "I respect the intensity of your feelings, and I think if you heard my side of it you might feel differently."
Part Five: The Ten Commandments of Change

The Ten Commandments

Sam Deep and Lyle Sussman suggest there are ten commandments associated with change. They are also commandments that can be applied to our dealings with others at all levels and for all reasons. They are:

Expect the best.

And it isn't enough to expect the best; you have to tell your employees, especially, what you expect of them. This ideally will happen as they are hired, but if not then, it's still not too late. Set up a meeting with them and talk with them today. Asking improves your chances of getting by about 200%. Of course, this is also a good time for you to find out what they expect of you.

Listen before talking; think before acting.

For some of us, this comes hard. We are used to talking our way through things. But if you, for example, set up a meeting with an employee about what your expectations are, you are apt to be more successful if you do some advance planning. Think about what you want. Think about how you will say it. Modify your style to better fit with their style. Script your part of the discussion, or prepare an agenda.

Get to the point.

How many of you heard about people complaining about guests who didn't take the hint it was time to go home, or spouses who didn't get the message their anniversary was approaching? We aren't good at reading what isn't said. That is why having a plan and a script can be invaluable when you speak to an employee. You can get to the point faster and more diplomatically. Make sure the message is received and understood.

Change what they do, not who

they are.

Talk about behaviour, not personality. As you plan a discussion, think about the behaviours you want to change and the behaviours you want to see. Don't even waste your breath discussing attitude. We don't know another person's attitude. At best we make guesses based on attitude. When we pull up at the McDonald's drive through and order a Big Mac, all we want is for the attendant to be pleasant, prompt, and give us what we ordered along with right change. The person may have the attitude that anyone who takes the drive through route is just too lazy to come in to the counter. We don't know, and we don't care. Just give us the burger.

Model the behaviour you desire.

We are the role models for our staff. It's back to that reciprocal stuff again. We usually get back what we put into something.

Children become a reflection of their parents, and our staff takes their cue from us. If the values expressed are not the values observed, we become very cynical about the person and the organisation.

Adapt your approach to the person.

We may have a different style from the person we are dealing with. However, as a flexible communicator, we can adapt or

modify our approach.

Provide for dignity and self respect.

The sweetest words in the

English language: I admit that I was wrong You did a good job What is your opinion? If you please Thank you You/We

Appeal to self-interest.

We come back to "What's in it for me?" We are usually far more comfortable talking about what we want and need rather than what our employees want and need. However, if keep in mind the object of the exercise is to win them to our way of thinking, then we really must see the situation through their eyes as well as our own.

Rejoice at success.

When they succeed, celebrate!

Cut your losses with remorse, not guilt.

Sometimes, you just won't win.

Individual Exercise

Which of these commandments do you think you are good at keeping? Which of them do you feel you break more often than you should?

Now, tally your score. If you rarely obey the commandment you get 0 points. If you often keep this commandment, give yourself 1 point, and if you are very good at this, give yourself all 2 points. Out of a possible total of 20, how did you score?

Keep these in mind, because at

the end of this you will have a personal action plan to fill out, and you will be making a commitment to some changes. We know that it takes about 21 days to develop a new positive habit (and we can lose a positive habit almost overnight), and we also know that putting changes into effect within 48 hours is the surest way of making these changes stick.

Part Six: Preventing Problems

We can do a lot to keep problems from happening in the first place.

Keep in mind that empathy is not agreeing. Sympathy means agreeing with a feeling or a concern. Empathy means you understand what the person said, but you don't necessarily agree with it. You should avoid catch phrases like, "I agree" or "Yes, that's true." Don't reinforce a concern. You would be able to express your empathy by rephrasing the key topic of the person's statement.

Some phrases you might use include:

"I hear...

"I understand..."

"I think you're saying..."

The concept of rephrasing before answering allows you:

A chance to empathize with the concerns

An opportunity to show the person you understand the concern

A moment to think of an appropriate response

Finally, check back to be sure the individual is satisfied with your explanation.

Your ability to handle conflict effectively will play an important role in your overall communication skills and your ability to create a win/win environment.

Dangerous Misconceptions

People always pay attention when you are speaking to them.

When people say they are paying attention, they really are.

When someone says "I know" s/he really does.

Saying something over and over will ensure that your listener understands.

Saying something over and over, slowly or loudly, will be even more effective.

Part Seven: Dealing with Problems

So you didn't recognise the problem coming and it caught you off-side. Has that ever happened to you? What do you do now?

Assess.

Think before you act. Make a plan, however sketchy.

Meet the difficult behaviour

head-on.

Don't bury your head in the sand. This has happened. You must deal with it.

Stay calm and objective.

Getting emotional will only make matters worse and you may say things you'll regret.

Be up-front with the individual.

The longer you wait the more difficult things become. Say what

needs to be said though.

Make this a two-way conversation.

Make sure the other individual gets a chance to have his/her say as well. Give him/her that chance earlier rather than later. If they have their say you may then have more facts or they may say some of the things you wanted to say but felt uncomfortable saying.

Try to put yourself in their

place, and look at the situation from their point of view.

You need to put yourself in their shoes, to see how they are looking at the problem, to have any chance of understanding it, let alone resolving it.

Flexibility

This is a useful tool so use it! Treat this as a learning experience and accept that this conflict may change the way you see or do things. That's OK.

Be tolerant

What a dull world if we were all the same. It may not be your way, but that doesn't make it a wrong way.

Other tips:

Develop Resolution Exchanges or Agreement Frames.

Watch for those words like but, never, always, and should. No point in waving a red flag in anyone's face.

Part Eight: Causes of Difficult Behaviour

According to psychologist Shirley Winslow, we all have four fears. They are fear of failure, fear of humiliation or embarrassment, fear of losing power, and fear of rejection. These fears often cause us to act in ways that make us difficult for others to deal with. Can you think of any other causes of difficult behaviour?

Some things that drive one person crazy may not bother another person at all. From this we may be able to draw another conclusion. Each of us is quite likely a difficult person for others at times.

What are the characteristics of others that make them difficult for us to deal with?

Possibilities are: they are negative, they whine, they say hurtful things

What are the weapons they use against us? This can include anger, tears, silence.

What are our coping strategies? We've already described at some length the things we will try to use as we deal with most people. However, the old 80/20 rule says that 80% of our problems will come from 20% of our employees or of our clients. So how do we deal with them? These are the people that get themselves sorted into categories, just so we can get some kind of a handle or strategy for dealing with them.

Part Nine: The Five-Step Process

There are five easy steps to resolving any sort of conflict.

Step One: Determine your Involvement

The purpose of this step is to help you determine whether or not to say or do anything once you encounter a difficult person. Ask yourself four questions:

Is this person important to you?

Has this happened before?

Does this bother you or other people?

Can you invest your time?

Note: If you answered "No" to any of the four questions, it is recommended that you remove yourself from the situation, either temporarily or permanently.

Step Two: Understand the Other Person

The purpose of this step is to avoid making any negative impressions about someone before learning the facts. Ask open-ended questions that start with:

Who

What

When

Where

How

Once you learn the facts about the other person or the situation, you

may decide not to get involved.

Step Three: Influence His or Her Attitude

The purpose of this step is to gain the other person's agreement to change his/her attitude or behavior. Here are three ways to influence them:

Describe how you or other people feel

Explain possible consequences

Suggest other ways to think about the problem

One of the quickest ways to lose credibility with someone is to threaten consequences you aren't prepared to follow through with.

Step Four: Resolve the Problem

The purpose of this step is to: Define your future

expectations Mutually discuss solutions Agree upon the best

solutions(s)

Step Five: Recover and Go On

The purpose of this step is to help you after the discussion. Once you have clarified the next steps, it is important to:

Regain your positive attitude

Follow through with commitments

Recognise any change the other person makes in his/her attitude

Part Ten: Changing Yourself

Negative vs. Positive Interactions

Can you change other people? NO. Can you change your reaction to them? YES.

Negative Interaction

Manager: "Why can you never do the invoices the way I want them done?

Bookkeeper: "Because you keep changing your mind about how you want them done."

Manager: "No, it's because you don't listen to me."

Positive Interaction

Manager: "Can you tell me why these invoices aren't showing a due date on them?"

Bookkeeper: "Because you keep changing your mind about how you want them done, and I wasn't sure what you wanted."

Manager (Option One): "I hadn't realized I'd been sending you mixed messages. What are the contradictory instructions I've given you?"

Manager (Option Two): "When that happens, I'd like you to feel free to ask me and to get some clarification. Then you'll know what to do, and I will be happy with the invoices."

"If it is to be, it's up to me." You are the one in the best position to change a negative cycle to a positive one. But that isn't likely to happen if you don't have a plan in mind ahead of time. Our spur of the moment reactions are all too often wrong.

Think of one of the people with whom you have a performance problem, and with whom you have difficulty communicating. You can use the five-step process as a guide any time you have a tough meeting coming up with an employee or with a client.

However, let's be realistic. The best laid plans of mice and men (and managers) do not all turn out as well as we'd like.

When should you call for a time out?

When should you walk away from a client, or when should you decide "enough is enough" when you are considering employee performance?

Does this organisation need a policy for dealing with those difficult people who heap verbal abuse on employees?

Dealing with Negative Feelings

Put yourself in charge of you.

Take a leaf out of Eleanor Roosevelt's book and refuse to beat up on yourself or make yourself a victim in these situations.

Be pro-active rather than reactive: notice what is going on around you, and when possible deal with potential problems right away. (For example, you can plan important meetings with staff and others to ensure issues are addressed before they explode.)

Selftalk.

Become more aware of what you tell yourself both before and after dealing with a difficult situation. Remember the reality of self-expectancy.

Be in control.

Plan how you will handle the situation and visual yourself feeling in control. After a situation has been handled, analyse it, learn from it, and put it aside.

If you still feel angry after you have dealt with a situation, use that anger constructively to clean your office, or let it propel you out the door for a walk.

Work on your sense of humour.

Research tells us that laughter is a proven method for dispelling stress and feeling better about the world.

Have a support team.

The most important thing you can do to deal with your negative feelings is to have a support group, people you can go to and just talk about how you feel. In this organisation, do you feel you have that kind of support? Do employees and clinicians have that kind of support? (This is very different from gossiping; confidentiality is a big factor here.)

Part Eleven: Why Don't People Do What They Are Supposed To?

How many times have you thought or said, "Why can't you just do what you're supposed to?" Here's a list of possible answers to your question:

They didn't know why they should do it

They didn't know when to begin and end it.

They didn't know what they were supposed to do.

They didn't know how to do it.

They thought they were doing it.

They thought your way wouldn't work, or their way was best.

They thought something else was more important.

They aren't rewarded for doing it, or they aren't punished for not doing it.

They are rewarded for not doing it, or they are punished for doing it.

They didn't think they could do it.

Part Twelve: Managing Anger

Managing Anger

Too many people are angry at work. Workplace violence is an extreme example. Even short of violence, every day you see managers and coworkers who are mad at each other, their coworkers, their employees, their bosses, their customers, the company, and the world itself. Anger interferes with teamwork and productivity. It also creates an environment that is negative, hostile, and frightening. Companies face legal pressures to prevent this type of environment and from employees' points of view, anger takes the fun out of work. Because anger is a natural emotion, it would be unrealistic to ask people not to feel it. Instead, the goal is to help – and sometimes, require – that people deal with their anger less aggressively and more appropriately.

Problems don't come from anger. Problems come from the negative ways people express anger.

How can we manage our own anger?

Some possibilities are:

Express feelings

appropriately and skilfully Release your physical tension Analyse what's going on? Address your fear Put yourself in charge of you

Use your emotions effectively

Approach the situation logically

And remember:

Don't accuse others of making you angry

Don't preach at others when you are angry

Don't bring up past grievances when you are trying to fight fair

Before yelling at someone, try these alternatives.

Go for a solitary walk in the

woods and yell. Sometimes it clears the way for more constructive thinking.

Write an angry letter that you're never going to send. It gets the hostility out of your system so you can later address the individual in person without emotion.

Write a second, more carefully reasoned letter and deliver it. Say, "Would you read this, and then we'll talk about it?" The act of writing the letter enables you to carefully choose the words you are using.

Dealing with Other People's Anger

Use positive self talk. Check your body language. Acknowledge the other

person's feelings. Share your own feelings and

fears. Show that you are listening. Make a conciliatory gesture. Express your own needs and

wants calmly and persistently (like a broken record).

When trying to work with

hostile colleagues, keep in mind that their self-esteem may be in the dumps. Compliment them whenever possible. Avoid arguing with them, even though that's often what they want. Sometimes the challenge is preventing an exchange from escalating into anger.

Guidelines for Assertive Anger Start Positively

For example: "I want to let you know how I am feeling because I believe that it will clear the air between us."

You could share an appreciation, but make sure it is sincere. "Over the past year, I have really enjoyed working with you, but lately..."

Be Direct

Use the first person and say, "I'm feeling irritated/annoyed/angry."

Don't distance yourself from your feelings with impersonal, third-person statements and generalizations such as, "When people..." or, "It can be annoying when..."

Specify the Degree of Anger

This can vary from, "I've been getting slightly irritated," to, "My fury is reaching the boiling point."

Giving this information often helps the other person listen more carefully.

If you just say, "I am angry with you," you may unnecessarily freeze the other person with fright or prompt them into aggressive defensive behavior.

Don't Accuse Others of Making You Angry

Remember that your irritation might be my pleasure!

No one has the power to make us feel anything. So instead of saying, "You make me feel angry," say, "I get angry when you..."

Share Your Feelings of Threat and Fear

For example: "I'm frightened of saying this to you because you may think I am being very petty or you may reject me/sack me/ hit me, but..."

This will help you to feel more in control of your feelings and may get you some welcome and helpful reassurance. (For example, they may respond with, "No, I promise that I will try and listen to what you have to say without walking away or punishing you.")

Acknowledge Your Responsibility

1 "I appreciate that I should have said something earlier."

"I am the kind of person who has very high standards."

"I may be over-reacting because I am under a lot of stress."

Avoid Self-Put Downs or Invitations to Criticism or Retaliatory Anger

Don't say, for example, "I know that I'm a bit of a nag/I'm over-sensitive/I'm too soft..." or, "You'll probably scream at me/want to kill me when I tell you..."

You could be putting unhelpful and inflammatory ideas into otherwise quite amenable heads!

Self-Protective Techniques to Block Criticism

Criticism is one of the chief weapons of an angry person. Often it is used indiscriminately and is well off target. However, you can learn to cope with this behavior. In order to protect yourself, stop the flow, and keep criticism from escalating, use these techniques.

The broken record: You keep repeating more or less the same statement over and over again, in a calm, controlled voice.

Fogging: Agree that there may be some truth in what the person is saying.

Negative Assertion: Simply, calmly agree with your critic using a serious, matter of fact tone of voice, without adding any put downs or unnecessary justifications.

Some Lessons from the Works of Others Dale Carnegie

Talk about what others are

interested in Genuinely like people Put yourself in their shoes Make them feel important, Remember names Don't criticise Tell them what's in it for me

Anthony Robbins

Develop rapport with others Find ways to make connections and build bridges

Some Other Great People

"I have known a great many troubles and most of them never happened." Mark Twain

"Nobody can make me feel inferior without my permission." Eleanor Roosevelt, former First Lady of the United States
Part Thirteen: De-Stress

Options You Can Use Right Now!

Belly Breathing

Loosen your clothes, close your eyes, mentally relax your body, and taken ten or more deep breaths. Each time you exhale, count silently: "one," after the first breath, "two," after the second breath, etc., up to at least ten. If you lose count, or find yourself working on thoughts as they pass through your mind, start your count over again. When you are finished, you should feel more calm and relaxed. (Your blood pressure will go down temporarily, too.)

Visualise

Use positive imagery to boost your confidence and enhance your visible performance. Couple this with positive language for even better results. Negative words and images become self-fulfilling prophecies.

Music

Music has the power to soothe or to give us energy. It actually has healing power. Find a type of music that relaxes you, and play it when you need to calm down. When you feel tired and listless, play some rousing music, rather than drink caffeine, to give you a pick up.

Acupressure and Massage

Holding a fingertip to the point of most pain or tension and pressing very hard into the offending muscle for up to a minute can avert a headache or relieve tension. Have a friend or spouse learn how to do massage therapy and/or acupressure on tense muscles, since daily treatment is better than once or twice a month.

a b a a r j w

General Coping Thoughts

Take a deep breath and relax.

Getting upset won't help.

Just as long as I keep my cool, I'm in control.

Easy does it – there's nothing to be gained in getting mad.

I'm not going to let him/her get to me.

I can't change him/her with anger; I'll just upset myself.

I can find a way to say what I want to without anger.

Stay calm – no sarcasm, no attacks.

I can stay calm and relaxed.

Relax and let go. There's no need to get my knickers in a twist.

No one is right, no one is wrong. We just have different needs.

Stay cool, make no judgments.

No matter what is said, I know I'm a good person.

I'll stay rational; anger won't solve anything.

Let them look all foolish and upset. I can stay cool and calm.

His/her opinion isn't important. I won't be pushed into losing my cool.

Bottom line, I'm in control. I'm out of here rather than say or do something dumb.

Take a time-out. Cool off, then come back and deal with it.

Some situations don't have good solutions. Looks like this is one of them. No use getting all bent out of shape about it.

It's just a hassle. Nothing more, nothing less. I can cope with hassles.

Break it down. Anger often comes from lumping things together. Good. I'm getting better at

this anger management stuff. I got angry, but kept the lid on saying dumb things. That's progress. It's not worth it to get so angry. Anger means it's time to relax and cope. I can manage this; I'm in control.

If they want me to get angry, I'm going to disappoint them.

I can't expect people to act the way I want them to.

I don't have to take this so seriously.

A Personal Action Plan

Preventing Problems

Look at nonverbal communication.

Person refuses eye contact, red face, clenched hands, arms crossed.

Reading between the lines.

This is more difficult. We have to listen to what the person isn't saying as well as what they are saying. Do they sound angry, defensive or put upon? Are they refusing to give an opinion or take action to correct things? Do you sense a reluctance to do something, or confusion over what the person is to do?

Probing

There are five ways to probe other people.

One of the most common ways of probing is to ask an open question, such as:

"Can you describe that more clearly?"

"Would you give me a specific example of what you mean?"

"What do you think we should do?"

The difficulty here is that if you ask too many of these, the other person begins to feel like they are under interrogation.

A second, very effective way of probing is a pause. Stop talking. Let them speak up to fill the silence.

A third way is to ask a reflective question. For example, the person has just said, "What I really want is more variety in my work," and you may respond by just reflecting back to them, "Variety?" The reflective question usually provides you with an expanded answer without you appearing to ask more questions. Of course, it is best used in conjunction with a pause.

A fourth method that is particularly useful to make certain you are clear about what the individual has said is paraphrasing what has just been said, in your own words. "So if I understand you correctly, you..."

The last method, most often used as a conversation is winding down, is the summary question. "You have tried ignoring the scent of your colleague's cologne, you have talked with him about how it affects your allergies, and you have tried shutting your door to keep the scent from your workspace. None of these has worked and now you are asking me to intervene. Have I got it right?"

All of these methods can help make the other person feel better understood, and prevent conflict from occurring.

Changing yourself

When should you call for a time out? Answers might include when you are getting emotional, when you have been asked a tough question for which you aren't prepared, or when the other person is emotional or unprepared.

When should you walk away from a client, or when should you decide "enough is enough" when you are considering employee performance?

Does this organisation need a policy for dealing with those difficult people who heap verbal abuse on employees?

### Chapter Three

How to Use This Guide This Guide is designed and laid out in a way that will guide reader learning much in the same way that an instructor would. This guide is comp of s. In each , we have included short answer questions or exercises which relate directly to the material. Throughout the guide, you can take the opportunity to internalise what you have learned by completing various self reflection exercises. Selfexercise Think of five people that you really admire. (They may come from busin Use the space below to write down their name and how you know them (family member, colleague, former boss, coach, mentor, teacher, etc.). Then write down the characteristics you most admire about them (or that make them stand out).

Person One Name:

Relationship to you:

Characteristics that you admire: Person Two Name:

Relationship to you: Characteristics that you admire: Person Three

Name:

Relationship to you:

Characteristics that you admire: Person Four

Name: Relationship to you: Characteristics that you admire: Person Five

Name: Relationship to you:

Characteristics that you

admire:

Two: Importance of a Personal Brand

Having a personal impact can mean that you are influencing, leading, and leaving a lasting impression. Have you decided where you want to go and precisely what impression you wish to create?

In this , you'll review the execise that you completed and start to consider your personal brand.

What's in a Brand? Companies brand themselves to

create an image, a recognizable spark that encourages their target customers to connect with them, remember them, and do business with them. We create a personal image for the same reason; to build a brand centered on ourselves that leads people to think of us. Have you thought about the impact you can be having when you do things? What do you want people to think of when you network with them, sell to them, consult or help them, or when you come to them looking for business, a job, or whatever it is that you need? What is it you do that makes you, or your work, stand out in other people's minds? Whatever the standout factor is, it becomes part of your personal brand. In the first selfexercise, you were asked to identify five people that you admire and to list the characteristics you admire about those people. Why five people? Why not three or seven? We chose five because three doesn't seem like quite enough, and seven can be too many to focus on at one time. If you've been following the successful career of Jack Canfield (one of the founders of The Chicken Soup for the Soul series and author of The Success Principles), he says that we become the average of the five people that we associate with the most. This means that our income and achievements are similar to the people that we spend the most time with. It is important to identify role models and mentors who demonstrate what is possible for us. Of course, we also have to take positive action in our lives in order to achieve the things we want!

Defining Success

What do these characteristics contribute to (i.e. overall success or something more specific)?

What makes someone worthy of admiration? Why do we select the role models and mentors that we do?

While we all define success in a way that means something to us personally, we often look to others for inspiration and ideas. Whether success to you means earning recognition; making money; or achieving education, financial, caree emotional, or other goals, this course will give you tools you need to take yourself there as a reflection of your personal brand.

Your Personal Brand Thinking of people who have ownership over their personal brand can be a bit challenging. First, let's look at some corporate brands that we are probably all familiar with, such as:

a. o McDonald's

b. o CocaCola

c. o Nike

d. o Toyota

What is it about these brands that make them memorable? They have a specific look through their logo which makes us think of their product and qualities and characteristics that appeal to us, such as value for our money, a quality (or notable lack of quality) in their products, taste, etc. Consider some people who have a particular look about them. Who are they? What makes them memorable? Here are some ideas: a. o Steve Jobs of Apple always wore a black mock turtleneck sweater with blue jeans. He will be

b. o Queen Elizabeth II usually wears a hat and her coats match her outfits. She is noted for her dedication to her role.

.o Prof. Chris Barnard has a style that is very direct. People remember him because he performed the world's first successful human to human heart transplant.

.Brand Elements Elements of your personal brand include your entire package, such as:

c. o Body language

d. o Image (including how you dress, your hair, and accessories)

e. o Communication skills

f. o Credibility

g. o Managing difficult

situations .o Social media presence

.In commercial terms, a brand is the customer's perception of a product. Organisations build that p by paying attention to areas such as:

h. o Product development

i. o Research and innovation

j. o Marketing

k. o Sales

l. o Return on investment

m. o Bottom line

n. o Finances in the black or red

o. o Community involvement

In reality, though, the brand is

the consumer's perception and nothing more. In a similar way, your personal brand is people's perception about you. People who do business with you have pretty high expectations about what a particular brand provides them, and they will review all aspects of you to form their perception. Having a personal brand doesn't mean that you have to dress in the same uniform every day (although you might dress in a consistent pattern), or that you are an eccentric individual (although you may be). It doesn't mean that if you are an introvert you must become gregarious, and it does not require that the extroverts mask their feelings or thoughts about things. What does developing a personal brand mean to you? It means that: o You are recognisable for your message as an individual.

o

You send a consistent message. For e are polite and direct.

o

You present yourself as professional and well put together when you go out.

.o You ensure that your social media presence is positive.

.In what ways will developing a personal brand benefit you?

b. o It will help you build credibility with its consistency.

c. o It will help you build a network. .o It will help you to be

memorable to others. .What will you do with it once you have it developed?

d. o Keep consistent with it in order to maintain credibility and respect.

e. o Leverage it to become known in my community and/or industry.

Three: Your Brand Approach to Others

Sometimes we need to take a good look at ourselves in order to consider how w

In this , you'll complete an assessment that considers what your personal style is you see yourself.

Brand Style Assessment Choose the phrase that most closely reflects the way you see yourself (not the way you want others to see you). Sometimes you may feel that more than one statement fits; if that happens, choose the one that is most like you most of the time.

1. When I meet someone at a cocktail reception, I like to:

.a. Learn lots about them

.b. Tell them about myself

.c. See what's on the food table

.d. Hover on

the fringe, observing, and interacting as people approach

2. When I attend a networking event or , I usually:

.a. Listen attentively to all introductions

.b. Don't need to be introduced; we all have name tags

.c. I listen to most of them, but if

they are too longwinded my attention drifts elsewhere

.d. I avoid these events because I have t do

3. When I am in a managerial or leadership role:

.a. People on my team come to me for direction

.b. I check every step of the project

.c. I encourage them to be independent

.d. I avoid giving negative performance reviews

4. When I go to a meeting, I

usually:

.a. Volunteer to take notes

.b. Sit near the

meeting chair, but avoid taking notes

.c. Sit with a least one seat between me and the next person

.d. Sit beside another person

5. When I meet someone I know fairly well:

.a. I ask about how their day is going .b. I share a story or a joke .c. I get right to the point .d. I introduce the conversation

by outlining its purpose

6. When I am at a meeting and someone is doing a presentation: .a. I want it to bring a few laughs .b. I try to imagine how the presenter feels .c. I try to analyse the logic of

what's being discussed .d. I get bored or impatient if it

does not flow well or engage me

7. When people enter my work

space or home, I usually: .a. Invite them to sit down .b. Tell them to sit down .c. Let them decide where or

whether they want to sit .d. Pull out a chair for them

8. When I am speaking with people:

.a. I prefer to stand close to them

.b. I like to keep three feet or more of distance between us

.c. I need to have room to step back if they get too close

.d. I don't mind if they are close to me

9. When I deliver a

presentation, it:

.a. Is well organised

.b. Connects to people on an

emotional level .c. Is powerful .d. Is entertaining

10. My telephone calls: .a. Are almost nonexistent now; I text for efficiency .b. Avoid small talk and focus

on purpose .c. Are animated and lively .d. Tend to be quite long

11. Publicly speaking on a cell

phone: .a. Keeps life interesting .b. Makes most people

uncomfortable

.c. Helps me learn what people are thinking about .d. Should be avoided

1. 12. When my work group celebrates a big win, I tend to:

2. 13. Which of the following interests

you the most?

.a. Ideas

.b. Information

.c. People

.d. Actions

14. You respect when you and

others pay attention to: .a. Intelligence .b. Authority .c. Relationships .d. Performance

15. You pride yourself on being

able to: .a. Solve problems .b. Look after details .c. Inspire others to action .d. Make quick and effective decisions

The Pragmatic Style (∆)

The pragmatic style is demonstrated by being highly assertive and lower in expressiveness (the top left quadrant in the diagram). The pragmatic style is characterised by decisiveness; direct, quick speech; loud tones; direct eye contact; a bold visual appearance; and a respect for personal distance. Your personal spaces at work, home, or the gym all denote a powerful presence. Your handshake is firm.

Strengths include getting to the heart of the matter quickly, being direct, and presenting a position strongly. Challenges include listening, demonstrating patience, a tendency to argue, and not taking the advice of others who have more experience or expertise to offer.

The Enthusiastic Style (□)

Enthusiasts express their emotions and are assertive; see the top right quadrant in the diagram. The enthusiastic style expresses opinions easily and can be very persuasive in their approach. They use a lot of inflection, expressive tones, and are animated when they speak. They tend to be active and demonstrate a lot of movement and enthusiasm about everything they do. Their workspaces are often cluttered and they are comfortable with close physical proximity. Challenges can include listening and paying attention to details, a tendency to generalize frequently, and to exaggerate or be overly dramatic.

The Accommodating Style (○)

The accommodating style is characterised by a tendency to low assertiveness and high expressiveness. This style focuses on relationship integrity. They listen, use supportive language, and thrive when everyone is working well and without conflict. Their speech is often at a slow to moderate rate, using soft tones.

They demonstrate patience, build trust, and use supportive language. They do not need to shake hands, although they will if that's what everyone else is doing. This style prefers to hug. Their workspace will contain family pictures and sentimental items. Their challenges can include handling conflict when it does arise, keeping opinions to themselves, and dealing with data and figures.

The Detailed Style (→)

The detailed style is found in

the lower left corner of the diagram and is depicted by low levels of assertiveness and low levels of expressiveness. This style focuses on details, facts, and figures. They use precise language and avoid bringing emotion into the conversation. They use little vocal inflection, speak economically, and control their emotions. They will avoid touching (shaking hands and particularly hugging) if possible, and maintain a very strong sense of personal space. If there are things hanging in their office, they will be related to charts and graphs. Their desktop will be tidy and wellorganised. Challenges can include being too focused on details and losing sight of the bigger picture, and not paying attention to people's feelings.

Four: Looking at the Outside

Do you have a signature look, or a level of dress that you present when you leave the house? How do others perceive you, given the way you present yourself? In this , you'll learn about dressing for success and business etiquette. You will also give some consideration to the sound of your voice. Dress for Success The way you look is what people see first. It is the basis for their opinion about you before you even have the chance to speak.

What kind of image are you presenting?

No matter what type of work you do, your image needs to support that, not contradict it. Lately, there has been an acceptance of wearing blue jeans as part of the corporate uniform. Fridays in particular became "casual day" when all employees could wear blue jeans or casual wear. In order to protect the corporate brand, staff often contributed a dollar or two to a charity. Frontline staff would wear a badge saying that they were dressing down for charity. This push for casual wear has changed the way many workplaces look today. CEOs dress in suits and ties in some companies, and in Tshirts and sandals in others. No matter what clothing you select to help you create an impact when you enter a room or meet someone new, there are a few rules. We refer to these as Seven Factors for Success. Factor One: Iron Clothing needs to be clean and free of wrinkles. Get rid of that rumpled college or "just rolled out of bed" look. Learn how to use an iron and use it regularly.

Factor Two: Grab a Needle and Thread

Buttons, zips, and other fasteners need to be properly attached to your clothing to give you a polished look.

Factor Three: Footwear

People notice what your feet are wearing, too. Your shoes need to be clean and in good condition. Learn how to apply shoe polish and purchase good quality footwear. You can lessen your credibility significantly with a nice outfit and a poor looking pair of shoes.

Factor Four: Hair

Your hair needs to be clean (even if the style of your mop is a messy one). No one wants to be around the smell of dirty hair, and

some styles really trap smell.

Factor Five: Teeth

Your teeth need to be clean. You don't have to follow the trend of whitening and braces for adults, but your smile is founded on your teeth, and they need to be well looked after in order to support your image. Getting your teeth cleaned regularly also helps to keep your breath fresh.

Factor Six: Dressing Up

Dress for the position that you want and the respect you are after. If everyone around you wears baggy shorts and skater shoes because you sell skateboards, that's one thing. If you work in a design company, an art gallery, or a jewelry manufacturer, you will probably dress differently than members of a law firm. If you want to reinforce your brand and have an impact, you still need to dress well wherever you are. Look carefully through your wardrobe and select clothes that will serve you.

Factor Seven: Glasses and Accessories

Long time glasses wearers have a gift for being able to look through a pair of smudged or dirty lenses, but your customers, colleagues, and manager will notice that layer of grime. Keep a microfiber cloth handy to keep your glasses clean. Pay attention to watches, cuff links, and jewelry with the same attention to detail.

Business Etiquette Having good manners doesn't just mean you make a positive impression; they are also good for business. No matter how formal or informal your personal brand is, people still care about social skills and manners (even if they don't come out and say so). Rules about which fork to use for the salad, or not talking with food in your mouth, are examples of good manners. Etiquette, however, takes the discussion about manners to a higher level. Emily Post, famous for her approach to etiquette, manners, and ethics, defined etiquette like this: "Whenever two people come together and their behaviour affects one another, you have etiquette. Etiquette is not some rigid code of manners; it's simply how persons' lives touch one another." When you apply your awareness of etiquette in different situations, you demonstrate that you want to be taken seriously. You become an ambassador for what you do and who you work with.

How You Sound Do youhave a "phone voice?" This is the voice you always use when you answer the phone; there can be total chaos around you, but when you pick up the phone and say, "Goo morning," the caller hears calm professionalism.

In contrast is the voice we use on the street or at the market. Some of us have grown up using what we might call "street language," or language that is commonly spoken with friends outside of the workplace. In business, however, we want to be clearly understood and so we apply a veneer or polish to our language. Sometimes a vocal or image coach will teach you to drop your street language so that it stops creeping into your business conversations and so that we are more easily understood.

When it comes to how you sound, you have to make a decision based on what's important to you and the brand you represent. Does your accent create a barrier in some way? If not, there is no need to change it. But if your accent prevents people from understanding you, or if your street language is having a negative impact on your brand, then it may be worth doing something about. Things to Consider Here are some things to consider when evaluating your business voice: a. o What's your speech like?

b. o Do you have a position of authority and a very soft speaking voice? Is it helping you?

c. o Or, do you work with a lot of softspoken people and speak to them in a booming, direct voice?

d. o Do people listen to you?

e. o Do they respect you?

f. o How is your voice supporting the brand that you wish to project?

Five: Looking at the Inside

We've spent some time thinking about how people look at you from the outside. Next, we'll look at how you can increase your impact by growing some key skills. In this , you'll learn about developing focus and concentration techniques, which in turn can help you to increase your confidence.

Developing Focus and Concentration Getting Focused Sometimes we have so much going on, it's as though we disrupt our own ability to concentrate and get things done. Whether you want to be known as a goto person who does it all, or you are someone who gets things done through others, you must be able to complete projects in order to be credible and build your brand. Sadly, some of us seem to look for the easiest way to getting things done. We put in just enough effort to avoid getting fired, or at least manage to avoid the performance talk with our boss. Taking the easy way out time and time again is an example of poor behaviour. If you want to be recognised as someone who gets things done, and who has a positive impact on their workplace or their own compan you're going to have to work hard. One way to accomplish a lot more than everyone else seems able to is to apply yourself with focus and concentration. This means that you clear distractions (from your desk or your mind), and you get to work. What are your best techniques for focusing on what's important? Here are some ideas: a.

o Turn off distractions so that you get your priorities finished.

b. o Record a phone message that says you are working on a project from 9 a.m. until noon today and that you will call people back after lunch. (Just make sure that you do!)

c. o Turn off your email notifications, close your door, and get to work.

o If you know your best time of

the day to do focused thinking, work with that. If you are a morning person, or afternoon, or evening, those are the times you want to reserve to get your best work done. If that doesn't work with the ebb and flow at your workplace or in your industry, see if you can arrange a few days a week where you are in control of your schedule. Once they see how much you get done, it's harder for them to argue!

d. o If you work in an open area, schedule some time in a meeting room and work in

there so that people do not stop by and distract you.

The 80/20 Rule The 80/20 Rule, or Pareto's law, says that 20% of what is on your to do list will bring 80% of your results. Make sure you are working on the 20% to make the most of your time. When it comes to the low value, timeconsuming tasks, make su that you delegate them, or take them off your list completely!

Improving Your Concentration Concentration is a skill that is learned and can be vastly improved. Many of us work in an environment of distractions and interruptions like email notifications, the Internet, stimulants like coffee or cooldrinks, and meetings. All of these things interfere with our ability to set aside a solid chunk of time to concentrate and work. The day is so broken up, it seems like there is only five minutes available at one time to actually get work done.

Instead of talking about it, we must get focused, set up time for uninterrupted work, and then get that work done. If you feel like you can only concentrate for very short pieces of t there. Assign yourself a task and then work for 45 minutes, giving yourself 15 minutes of each hour to check email, grab a coffee, or touch base with your team. After several d this discipline, start increasing your time so that are working for 50 minutes, then an hour, and then an hour and fifteen minutes. You'll be amazed at how much you can accomplish when you buckle down and really get into it!

Developing Confidence Confidence is not just about how you feel; it affects how you look. When you think about your brand, and the promotion of it within your career, you need to be confident. Just thinking about your personal brand and the impact that you can have on your life is a sign of confidence. Can we project selfconfidence even when we don't feel selfconfident? Yes, there are several techniques that you can apply in order to gain confidence. Pretend You're Confident Imagine yourself to be a confident person. Get that image in your mind and act it out. Stand up straight, dress better, and try to play the part. If you visualise yourse as confident and successful, that will help you to do things confidently and achieve success. When you feel your confidence slipping, visualise a to build yourself up. When Your Positive SelfTalk Doesn't Listen Sometimes we can be so hard on ourselves that we will actually argue with that voice in our head and therefore can't get the positive message track to enter our consciousness. One helpful way of breaking this pattern is to interfere with it. When you catch yourself listening to negative selftalk, play music that inspires you and sing or hum along. It is much more difficult for those negative messages to persist through music. The music can also be the positive message that you need at that time. Make Eye Contact Confident people look people in the eye; people who aren't confident don't, unless it is a cultural restriction. Don't stare or make people uncomfortable; find that comfortable level of engaging in eye contact. (In some cultures it can be considered rude to look people directly in the eye. Make sure that you know your audience.) Dance While this one might get you gasping (for confidence and air!),

da is a great way to build yourself up. First, we know that the benefits of physical exercise are great, but did you ever think to let yourself go within a class of other likeminded people who are all learning at the same time? Often, you can take a class or two before you have to pay the fee. Then you can decide whether you are more of a salsa, flamenco, or ballroom kind of person.

If you don't have a partner, don't worry because lots of times there are other dancers there on their own. Or, you can take a class in line dancing. Whichever you decide, dance (or even yoga or guitar lessons) will force you to focus on something that you can enjoy. Be sure of your facts Your confidence can't be all a front. While you are looking people directly in the eyes, standing straight, and otherwise acting as if the world were your oyster, you also have to know what you are doing. If you are prepared and sure

of your facts, you've got a better chance projecting

confidence. Rehearse Rehearsing can be

simple as writing out a speech or you

conversation with someone and practicing it in front of the mirror. For example, you could do a roleplay with a trusted friend or colleague as the interviewer before you interview for a new position. To tackle your underlying fear of failure with your rehearsal: imagine yourself succeeding. Pep Talks Work Rather than dwell on the things that didn't work or the things that didn't go well, focus on what you did accomplish. Give yourself a mental pep talk at the beginning or the end of every day. Remind your that you have done some things well. Read Inspiring Biographies and Autobiographies Build a file of stories that inspire you most. Remember that our capacity fa exceeds our usual level of performance. Accept the fact you will have ups and downs just like everyone else. Experiencing them through reading w that concept. Be Thankful No matter how bad your circumstances, there is probably somebody worse o you. As

Push Yourself to Accomplish Short-Term Goals There is no greater way to build confidence than to get things done. Push yourself to get at least three things accomplished each week that move you closer to your goals. Develop a habit of getting things done and being productive. Do Something for Yourself Every Week You deserve it. Find a way to celebr have accomplished or overcome. Give yourself some kind of tangible reward for your effo Confidence Builder Four Steps for Success One of the tools that we can use in building confidence is a proce to help us communicate effectively and with assertiveness. This tool involves a fo process based on ThinkActFeelI Need.

Framework The four steps can be framed as follows. Make sure that when you are referring to someone's behaviour that you talk about the behaviour and not the person.

1. When I witness __________

or When you _______________

State what you are seeing without making a judgment. Be a videographer and only state what you can see or hear.

2. The effect (the consequence to me) is

This is your reaction.

3. I feel __________

This is your feelings on the matter. There could be range of

adjectives here including

disrespected, unsupported,

4. I would like __________

What you need or want from the other person to resolv Example When you point your finger at me and yell, I don't want to be around you or work with you. I feel disrespected. I would like to discuss things with you in a calm, nonthreatening manner.

Six: Setting Goals In order to get where you are going, to know where you want to go! Having a welldefined plan will help you identify the tasks that will move you forward towards your destination. In this , you will start to think about what you really want from your brand and what kind of impact you want to make. You will learn about the SPIRIT acronym (which can help you define your goals) and some ways to develop flexibility and resiliency.

What Do You Want? If you

really don't know what you want, it's hard to represent your brand and have the impact that you want. Many times, people are looking for the easiest route they can find. As an example, they ask for money in the belief that if we have all the money we could possibly want, everything else would be ours for the taking. However, we all know that isn't exactly how it works. Money doesn't buy happiness, although it does make the search a little easier. One of life's fundamental truths is, "Ask and you shall receive." Kids can ask for what they want, whether it's an ice cream cone or a new toy. As adu seem to lose our ability to ask for what we want, and we can really struggle when it comes to asking for or accepting help. Remember, the world responds to those who ask! There are many different asking strategies. We can create abundance in our lives just by mastering the art of asking assertively. There are three reasons why we don't ask for what we want.

a. o We believe that it's not right to ask.

b. o We lack confidence.

c. o We fear rejection.

Some people don't enjoy the rewards of asking because they don't ask effectively. Here are five ways to ensure that you get results when you ask. Ask Clearly Be precise. Think about your request. Take time to prepare; maybe even write out what you want and practice. Words are powerful so choose them carefully.

Ask With Confidence You are more apt to get what you want if you speak up and sound confident, rather than hesitant and un yourself. The worst that can happen is that you will be denied, but it probably won't put you in a worse situation than before. If this route is closed, look for another. Ask Creatively What can you do to make sure you make an impact and to make certain your request doesn't get lost in the crowd? How could you make your request stand out? How can you make your request fun? Schedule some time every month to dream up new and different ways to ask for what you want. Ask Sincerely When you really want help, people will res to be vulnerable. Tell it the way it is, lumps and all. Don't worry if your presentation isn't perfect; ask from your heart. Help Others We live in a world of reciprocal relationships and energy. When you give, you get. When you are ready to lend someone a hand, do so. The more you can help others, the more likely that someone will be available to help you when you need it. Be giving of your time, and accepting of theirs.

Go For It!

Think of something that you truly want from others or something that you could use help with. How can you start the ball rolling by asking today?

What techniques might you use?

Identifying Dreams and Setting Goals Part of the reason people struggle with where they want to go in life is that their goals are vague and ill defined. "More confidence" and "more money" sound really good, but unless we get really clear about what they mean, we may never reach those goals. Identifying Your Dreams It is important to give some thought to what we want and how we are going to get there. Right now we're going to take some time to think about our own hopes and dreams. From that, we will set some concrete goals. What area(s) of life do you want to set goals in? Some ideas: a. o Career (responsibilities or a specific position, or maybe even your own business)

b. o Income .o Relationships (marriage,

children, family, .friends, colleagues, customers)

c. o Things to learn

d. o Hobbies to take up

e. o Volunteer activities or

charities to support .o Recreational activities o .Home, vehicles, or other

possession to purchase

f. o Places to travel to

g. o Spiritual

h. o Health (examples: lose 20 pounds, exercise more frequently)

i. o Educational

j. o Behaviours and habits to develop or change

Now, clearly some of these are achie the short term while others will take longer. Some will obviously take more work than others.

SPIRIT If the goal is quite large, it needs to be broken down into several small, achievable goals that will help you get where you want to go. Good goals should have SPIRIT!

Specific

Be specific about what you want or don't want to achieve. The result should be tangible and measurable. "Talk to with two of my coworkers each day" is specific.

Prizes

Reward yourself at different points in the goal, particularly if it's longterm. If your goal is to set up a meeting with a new colleague, for example, you might pu a special treat for yourself afterward.

Individual

The goal must be something that you want to do. If your spouse wants you to lose 10 kilograms but you think you look fine, you're not going to want to work towards the goal.

Review

Review your progress periodically. Does the goal Is it still giving you energy and something you find motivating? Are you stuck? Do you need to adjust certain parts of it?

Inspiring

Frame the goal positively. Make it fun to accomplish. You could make a poster of the end result, frame it, and post it on the wall.

TimeBound

Give yourself a deadline for achieving the goal. Even better, split the goal into small parts and give yourself a deadl for each item.

Getting Some SPIRIT

Use the worksheets on the following pages to set a goal related to developing your personal brand or improving your personal impact.

Goal Statement One

Check to make sure you have included each of these elements.

Who will you check in with? When are your checkin dates? What should be accomplished by each one?

Check to make sure you have included each of these elements.

Who will you check in with? When are your checkin dates? What should be accomplished by each one?

Being Flexible and Resilient When you are setting up big goals (which can include this shift you are making in having personal impact and creating your personal brand), there's a very good chance you will hit some setbacks. People you thought would be supportive may not be. You may let your guard down and have your brand tarnished. Your ability to bounce back after these setbacks is essential in reaching your goals. Being able to apply some flexibility and resilience is a way to measure how successful – and happy – you are. Some people may appear to be more resilient than others. While this ability may be innate for some, a lot of the behaviours are learned. The evidence of learning means that we can all develop traits of resilience and flexibility. We have organised our top five tips as the 5 D's. Develop a Positive SelfConcept Resilient people know that they are worth it and they see themselves in a positive way. A positive selfconcept does not mean you have to behave like someone who is selfcentered or selfish. It does mean that you perceive yourself in a positive way. Develop Relationships Resilient people tend to give to and be a part of strong networks. Friends, family, business partnerships, and colleagues are all a source of support when things are not going well. Accountability partners can help get things back on track. Develop Appreciation Focusing on things that are going well helps bring more good things into view. This will help you to regain a positive mindset if you have let go of it. It also helps you to deal with challenges more effectively than if you are focusing on what's going wrong. Develop Acceptance No matter how positive, flexible, and resilient you are, there are things that cannot be changed.

Resilient people accept these things, instead of spending precious energy fighting things that cannot be altered.

Develop Vision When you look at your life, your goals, and your business from a distance, problems and setbacks seem less important than when they are close up. Develop your vision and then focus on the ability to call it up whenever

you wish.

Seven: Networking for Success

If you were to write a list of names of people that you know directly, how many people could you list? Of those people, if you needed all of them to show up and help you with something, how many would show up? In this , you'll learn some techniques to help you build your network and make the most of those connections that you have. Getting Out There Networking is an effective way for you to build your brand. However, building a network can be a difficult thing for a lot of people. If you are inhibited at all, the idea of introducing yourself to people can be daunting. If you are outgoing, people may have the impression you just want to meet them to further your career or grow your business. The real purpose of networking, however, is that you bring something to the group that is helpful to them (not you specifically) without expecting something directly in return. For example, if you know someone who needs their house painted, and you know a painter, you could introduce the two. You do not gain directly from the referral, except that now it's possible that the person you refer and the painter will both think of you when they have a need or a referral for you. There are plenty of networking groups available to help you get out into your community and to get known. Building a network takes time and patience. If you are hoping to get business or recognition from a group, expect it to take a year or more. Your results will depend on how involved you are. Here are some excellent tips to try as you start to build or expand upon your network: a. o If you are a strong writer or teacher, you can write for a variety of media (such as local news, websites, and blogs). Just make sure your work is getting read and that it's work you are proud of.

b. o If you enjoy presentations, then volunteer to sit on a panel or start looking for paid s and conference presentations.

.o Get away from time wasters, such as water cooler gossip, or people who socialize excessively at work and are not getting things done. You don't want to be

.associated with these people because they will not be a good reflection of your brand.

.o Spend time with mentors and coaches in the workplace that you can learn from, even if it's just while sharing a meal or break together now and again.

.Think about some networking strategies that might work in your area. Here are some ideas:

c. o Breakfast meeting groups

d. o Mastermind groups .o Association membership

meetings, workshops, and .conferences

e. o Industry meetings, workshops, conventions, and conferences

f. o Religious groups

g. o Members of a class you are taking online or in person

h. o Online groups (forums)

i. o Crossfunctional teams at work

j. o Volunteering just about anywhere

k. o Volunteering as a board member

l. o Volunteering to assist with fundraisers

Eight: Communication Strategies

We communicate all the time, whether we are speaking, observing, or listening. Communicating well is not a simple undertaking. Most of us can learn some new techniques to communicate better. In this , you'll learn some techniques for communicating well. As you work through the , consider how you can communicate better to improve your personal impact.

What is Said and What is Heard Some people seem to be naturally good communicators, while others have to work at it. Communication skills are not related to how bright we are, either; people can be gifted in their subject matter, but struggle with communicating what they know or to connect with people. What we say isn't always what the other person hears. Our message goes through a complicated system of filters and outside influences before it reaches the recipient. We must always clarify that the person has received the message that we intended to send.

Communication Situations What would you do if you were trying to talk to someone... In a noisy workplace? And there were a lot of visual distractions? And you felt really tired? And they had a very strong accent? And they were speaking too fast for you to

understand, or too slowly or softly?

And they kept using jargon or terms you didn't understand? And they appeared to be very stressed? And they were using emotionally charged words or statements?

And they were verbally attacking you

Here are some suggestions: In a noisy workplace Move to a quieter location, such as a meeting room wit Visual distractions Move to a less distracting environment. Turn your back to your computer screen, or have a conversation corner in your office that is away from your computer or wher screen won't catch your eye. You felt really tired Admit that you aren't feeling your best and are too tired to focus. Reschedule the conversation if possible. They had a very strong accent Admit that you are having trouble with hearing what they say. Respectfully ask them to slow down or help you in some other way, so that you can understand them. They were speaking too fast for you to understand, or too slowly or softly Admit that you are having trouble following them because they are speaking so quickly (or slowly or softly). Respectfully ask them to change the pace. They kept using jargon words or terms you didn't understand Politely interrupt. Let them know you are not familiar with a term or expression and ask them to explain. They appeared to be very stressed Mention their behaviour, and that you have noticed it. Ask how you can help.

They were using emotionally charged words or statements Mention the behaviour. Use your skills at conflict resolution or difficult conversations to depersonalise the conversation and deescalate the situation. They were verbally attacking you Call the behaviour for what it is. You can stop the conversation and walk away if people continue the barrage.

How Do You Rate Your Listening Ability?

One reason listening is so important is that we do so much of it every day. We often say that good communicators spend far more of their time listening than they do talking. Fortunately, listening is a ski we can develop. In an age when we are inundated with media messages and portable devices, we c listen more than many people seem to be.

Listening Assessment Answer the questions on the test below. Don't answer the questions too quickly; it is easy to confuse what you know is right from what you actually do.

Scoring

o Give yourself 2 points if you answered "Yes" for question

1. You enjoy listening as much as you enjoy talking.

a. o Give yourself 2 points if you answered "No" to questions 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10.

b. o Give yourself 2 points if you answered "Yes" to questions 2, 3, 11, and 12.

Your score: ___________ Interpretation If your score is 20 or more, you've already developed some strong communication skills. You have the ability to listen to people, understand what they are saying, and communicate your understanding back to them. Use your listening and communication skills to help others. If your score is between 10 and 18, you're within the average range. Use this quiz to help you identify where you're doing well and where you would like to do better. If your score is less than 10, it's time to start

learning! Use this quiz to help you

set some goals. Start with one or

two things that you would like to

improve on, such as empathizing,

paraphrasing,

or asking good questions.

Then, we'll work on setting

Active Listening Skills The

problem is that listening and hearing are not the same thing. Most of us were fortunate to be born with hearing, but listening is a skill that must be learned and practiced in order to use it successfully. When you hear something, sound enters your eardrum, passes through your ear canal, and registers in your

a. o Listen intentionally for people's names.

o Listen with interest. o

Try to get rid of your

assumptions.

b. o Listen for what isn't said.

Listening is hard work. When other p us, they have the same difficulties we do in trying to focus on a message. Our minds wander, noises or thoughts distract us, and we can be thinking about what to do next. Active listening means that we try to understand things from the speaker's point of view. It includes letting the speaker know that we are listening and that we have understood what was said. This is not the same as hearing, which is a physical process, where sound enter the brain. Active listening can be described as an attitude that leads to listening for shared understanding. When we make a decision to listen for total meaning, we listen for the co is being said as well as the attitude behind what is being said. Is the speaker happy, angry, excited, sad...or something else entirely? Responding to Feelings The content (the words spoken) is one thing, but the way that people feel really gives full value to the message. Responding to the speaker's feelings adds an extra dimension of listening. Are they disgusted and angry or in love and excited? Perhaps they are ambivalent! These are all feeling can reply to in your part of the conversation.

Reading Cues Really listening means that we are also very conscious of the nonverbal aspects of the conversation.

a. o What are the speaker's facial expressions, hand gestures, and posture telling us?

b. o Is their voice loud or shaky?

o Are they stressing

certain points?

c. o Are they mumbling or having difficulty finding the words

they want to say?

Demonstration Cues When you are listening to someone, these techniques will show a speaker that you are paying attention, providing you are genuine them. Physical indicators include making eye contact, nodding your head from time to time, and leaning into the conversation. You can also give verbal cues or use phrases such as "Uhhuh," "Go on," "Really!" and, "Then what?" You can use questions for clarification or summa statements. Examples: a. o "Do you mean they were charging R30.00 for just a cup of coffee?"

o "So after you left, got to the shop, and found the right sales clerk, what happened then?"

Tips for Becoming a Better Listener

b. o Make a decision to listen. Close your mind to clutter and noise and look at the person speaking with you. Give them your undivided

what, when, where, why, and how as Once you have conducted this exercise 810 times, you will be able to see what level your listening skills are currently at.

o

Ask a few questions throughout the conversation. When you ask, people will know that you are listening to then, and that you are interested in what they have to say. Your ability to summarize and paraphrase will also demonstrate that you heard them.

o When you demonstrate good listening skills they tend to be infectious. If you want people to communicate well at work, you have to set a high example.

Nine: Building Your Credibility

Part of having personal impact means that you have some kind of influence on other people. This means that you need to be credible in what you say and in the things that you do. In this , you'll learn about building credibility though the development of trusting relations Defining Credibility We've probably all worked with people (including leaders) that we did not respect. No matter how long we worked with them, and no matter how great our results were, there was something about them which stopped us from trusting them. This lack of respect leads to dysfunctional teams, where people are afraid of repercuss people work well with one another, and respect one another, trust is built. Factors that impact your credibility include small things (like remembering to think of people and send a thank you note) and big things (like being punctual). Credibility is affected by your ability to engender trust. It is reinforced when people speak about you in a manner that reflects the regard they hold you in. Below are five ways that you can develop trusting relationships. If you say you'll do it, then get on and do it. Some people are good at planning and setting things up, but not so good when it comes to the follow through. At some point, you have to stop talking and start doing. If details are not really your strong suit, then make sure that you have people you can delegate to so that the things you say you will do get done. If you break promises, any trust that people have in you will be swiftly eroded. If you make a mistake, own it. We all make mistakes, and it's a way to learn how to improve. Instead of pointing the finger at someone else (especially members of your team), make sure the blame falls where it belongs – on you. Leaders and people who want to have impact learn that accepting responsibility for the good and the bad builds trust and credibility. Be there for people. If people feel micromanaged, they fe that you do not trust them to do their own work. Allow them to experiment, take risks, and to learn from failure as well as their own choices.

Remember to also see what their strengths are and to celebrate when they do things well. Don't try to take credit when the whole team is contributing to success. As well, make sure that you are available when they need your support through mentoring and Be assertive.

prepared to stand up for the things you believe in. You must also develop tools to manage conflict and to solve problems. If everyone that you work with seems accepting of everything you do and say, chances are that they are afraid of telling you the truth about how they really feel. Encourage sharing of opinions, debate, and discussion as a way for everyone to learn and grow. Be yourself. Demonstrating your brand and having a personal impact on the things that you do does not mean that you become someone else in public. Be accepting of who you are (including your strengths and weaknesses) and commit to ongoing development so that you can be the best person you can be.

Ten: Brand You

If it's clear to you what type of impact you want to have, it will become clear to the people that you work, play, and gather with. If it's not clear to you, there is a risk that you will appear inconsistent or t don't know what you want.

In this ,

you'll consider your personal brand, it looks like to you, and become certain about how you present yourself.

Defining Your Brand When we refer to your brand, we're thinking about the package that you want to offer to others. This is a small scale version of a corporate brand, and vastly different from a cattle brand. Thinking about your personal brand can seem a bit vague, so let's make it something that is more tangible. When a company considers their brand, they do so in terms of standards. Their logo will be created, and with that will be rules (standards) about how the logo is placed on a page, whether it can be reproduced in black and white or must always be in color, what uniforms staff need to wear, how the business itself will be presented, and so on. Your brand is not the same as a corporate brand, but it has some similar elements. Your brand is a reflection of the story that you want to tell about yourself and how you wish for others to see you. Over time, as you evolve as a human being (and as you age), your story changes. You finish some things, you start others, and things that are important at one stage of your life may lose importance over time. Your goals will also change over time. If you think of what you want said of you in the public, those things would be a good representation of your brand, wouldn't they? The best exercise for this is to think about what will be said about you when you can no longer speak for yourself, when you have passed away and someone is writing a eulogy in tribute to you or writing an obituary.

Accomplishments

These are my greatest accomplishments. (Indicate whether they are already finished, yet to be started, or in progress.)

The Top Five

My last two bosses would use these five words to describe me: My best friend would use these five words to describe me: My partner, children, or siblings would use these five words to describe me: Are the five words consistent in all the descriptions here? If so, congratulations! It seems like you are consistent in the way that you present yourself. If not, what can you do about it? What are you doing to make those elements part of your life every week?

Ready, Set, Draw!

Create a logo or selfportrait that represents you personal brand.

Eleven: Living Your Brand

If your brand is changing, or is something that you had not defined yet, you will find it helpful to make some decisions about how you will present yourself to the community. In this , you'll set up a plan for how you wish to present yourself and prepare to make some significant changes. Getting Started If you are going to make a transition to always demonstrating your brand, you could do it in a few different ways. You could: a. o Start fresh and simply start behaving as you have identified in your brand description.

b. o Book an official launch and celebrate the new you publicly.

c. o Set up a marketing plan to purposely promote your brand. This could be something like a launch, or it might be a branded approach to a job search plan and embarking on the next stage of your career.

Most likely, and quite simply, you could make a gradual transition where you gradually adopt the things that are reasonable to you and fit within your goals, without a big announcement. What is important is to start, and then to keep going despite setbacks or frustration. When people notice success, they are inclined to make statements like, "Wow, that person is so lucky to have those things/that life/that job." And yet the reality is that to get where they are, this person has made mistakes, faced failure, and tried yet again to reach success. In order to be successful, and get what it is that you want, you are going to have to make some changes. Success will come when you incorporate successful activities that move you toward your goals. We hear frequently that people do not have time to do more. They do not have time to exercise, go out with friends, prepare healthy food, or be with their families. If that's the case for you, it's time to evaluate the things that you are doing. You have to make adjustments in order to be able to take the action that is necessary to change your life.

Tips for getting started

Identify the low value tasks in your

routine. Watching television is a low value task: sure it is entertaining, and we all want some entertainment, but you actually get little to nothing out of it. It can be replaced with high value tasks that give you some kind of real return. Surfing the Internet aimlessly is another low value task.

Calculate the amount of time that you spend on low value tasks each week. Assess whether those tasks are moving you toward your goals. (Since they are low value, they probably won't be doing much for your goal achievement.) Over a two 80% of the time you are spending on low value tasks with high value tasks. That still gives you some time for doing nothing, but now you are focusing on that need doing.

Review the habits of successful people and learn from them. You don't need to become the next Anton Rupert, Donald Trump, or Oprah Winfrey: you need to be yourself, at your best. Many successful people have written someone write their book) about how they've achieved what they have. Have a look at them and see what you can apply in your own life.

Twelve: Managing Your Social Media Presence

Social media is here to stay, but we can manage it rather than having it take over our lives. Do you know all of the places where your name or image ap the Internet? Have you put it there? Does it really represent your brand?

In this ,

you'll consider some of the places th you have a presence and what you wish to do about it.

Understanding Social Media You need to develop a curiosity about how peopl you online and what is said about you. This can be managed by putting your own name in search engines and by taking good care of popular social networking sites such as LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. Learn to set up automatic searches for your name (such as through a Google Alert), so that you will receive an email that lets you kn mentioned online. Make sure that pictures, comments, email signatures, and articles that are about you support your brand. If they do not support your brand, make sure you have them removed so that they don't detract from the impact you are aiming for. When your presence in person and online is well managed, y have the opportunity to exert influence without anyone observing that you are being incongruent with your brand. This means that you can have the impact that you desire, w that something from your past might come forward to derail your ef Social media is an evolving and influential medium for sharing information. If you say something tha they click on a "share" button, your message can be spread throughout an increasing n sites that include blogs, wikis, forums, podcasts, photo sites, and bookmarks. Social media has been created specifically to share information among networks, and its popularity continues to grow. Leveraging social media is an incredible way for a single message to be spread, but the downside is that a message that you later want to recant can be very hard to get rid of. This means that if you make comments about somebody that you dislike, a company that you want to complain about, a book that struck a nerve, or an opinion about something going on in politics, you've got to keep in mind that those comments can be tracked back you. You must be mindful about what you place online. When it comes to getting a promotion, applying for a new job, or trying to secure a contract, Human departments and your contacts regularly search the Internet to see what is there. In order to maintain the integrity of your brand, you need to do the same. Search for your name (and all variations of it, including images) in several different search engines and see what appears. Do these messages support your brand? Do they tarnish your image in any way? Make sure that anything that does not represent who you are is properly removed.

In order to manage your presence on social media, we recommend that you reserve your name on any social networking site that you come across so that other people cannot pretend to be you. Then, create a consistent message (your brand) across all sites that you use. Don't think that you have to be active on every site, because you don't. Spend as little time as you can on just a couple of sites, and save the rest of your time for achieving yo goals.

Thirteen:

Having Influence

There are different ways that you can extend influence to others. Do you have a good understanding of who listens to you now and what their reasons are for doing so? Do you extend your influence intentionally? In this , you'll learn about different types of influence that you can offer, including persuasion, negotiation, and saying no.

Persuasion Techniques If you want to be someone who is

If you are tempted to insert these words into your conversations, replace them with clearer

terms. Instead of "I'll try to get back to you later," say "I'll call you back by 4:00 today" (and then make sure that you do!). There are different levels of influence that you can exert and different approaches that you can take. Depending on the situation, you may wish to persuade or you may have to move onto negotiation techniques. Persuasion Expecting the best and knowing when to stop talking are probably two of the most important elements of persuading others. If we can't convince ourselve of something, it will be very difficult for us to persuade

that other people stopped listening? These individuals overwhelm their listeners with conversation until the listener becomes confused, bored, or both.

Mark Twain used to tell the following story that bears out that point: "I was attending a meeting where a missionary had been invited to speak. I was dee impressed. The preacher's voice was beautiful. He told us about the sufferings of the natives and he pleaded for help with such moving simplicity that I mentally doubled the 50 cents I was about to put in the plate. "He described the pitiful misery of these poor people and I raised the amount again. As he continued, I felt that all the cash carried on me would be insufficient, so I decided to write a large check.

"Then he went on. That preacher went on and on about the dreadful state of these poor natives and I abandoned the idea of a check. And still he went on. And I got back to a dollar, and then 50 cents. And still he went on. And when the plate finally came round...I took 10 cents out of it!"

The lesson: balance enthusiasm with control.

Ten Ways to Persuade

1. 1.

Demonstrate your expertise and know

.2. Make sure integrity is reflected

.in your standards, values, and behaviour.

2. 3. Know when to be silent.

3. 4. Create an obligation for one or both parties.

4. 5. Proceed a bit at a time, from inconsequential points into major areas.

5. 6. Never corner people. Leave them a w out.

6. 7. Give sincere compliments.

.8. Be childlike: open and transparent. Expa of interests to include others and explore the talents

.of others.

7. 9. Remember names.

8. 10. Remember: difficult people don't pla the same rules.

(Adapted from the Secrets of Power Persuasion by Roger Dawson)

Negotiation Techniques

The essence of negotiating is that in order to get what we want, sometimes we have to give something up. We can negotiate on price (you give me more value and I will give you more money) or principles. Argue Based on Principle instead of Positions You've probably heard that expression that someone is "digging their heels in," meaning that they are so focused on what they want (and their position) that they have lost sight of the topic being argued and the principle. If you are negotiating, try not to defend a position; otherwise you simply become more attached to it and will defend it even harder. You'll try to save face and lose your commitment to the real problem. Arguing Chips Away at Relationships Since a negotiation is a form of conversation, the idea is to have successful negotiations that contribute to more conversations. Be careful that your approach to negotiating does lead to a battle of wills. Each of you can clearly state what you are willing to do or not do, and then work through the problem rather than deteriorating to personal attacks and bravado.

The Softer Side

Sometimes people who resist conflict or who understand the high price that can be exacted for hard bargaining try to soften the edge by being friendlier in their approach. They get focused on the relationship and on reaching an agreement rather than simply pushing their own agenda. This is an example of soft negotiation where we extend trust to the other side, make offers and concessions, and do what we can to avoid confrontation. Principled Negotiation Works Instead of having to choose whether to stick to your position, or to use a soft or hard positional approach, we recommend that you apply principled negotiation. This approach is neither soft nor hard, and works in almost any negotiation by applying four simple strategies.

Each point deals with a basic element of negotiation and suggests what you should do about it.

a. o People: Focus on the problem, not the people.

b. o Interests: Be concerned with interests of both parties, not digging in your heels.

o Options: Think of different

solutions and possibilities instead of starting out from where you want to end up.

c. o Standard: Make sure that results are based on an actual standard, instead of something subjective.

Focus on the Problem, Not the People

We often make the comment that we have to focus on behaviours, not people. Take this concept seriously. Don't get angry: get clear about behaviours that need to change. Negotiators are People First When it comes to negotiations, we are dealing with human beings. And when people get passionate about something, it is a good reminder for us to see that they have emotions, convictions, different paradigms, and they can be unpredictable. When things get heated, which they will at times, remember that your emotions and hot buttons are also involved. Ask yourself if you are paying attention to the people, or are getting distracted by positions.

Expressing Your No

Once you understand what someone is asking of you and decide you want to say no, choose the kind of no that best suits the person and situation. Here are some general rules to follow. Say no firmly and calmly, without saying, "I'm sorry," which weakens your position. Say no, followed by a straightforward explanation of what you are feeling or what you are willing to do.

a. o "I'm uncomfortable doing that."

b. o "I'm not willing to do that."

c. o "I don't want to do that."

o "I don't like to do that."

Say no, and then give a choice or alternative.

d. o "I can't help you now, but I will when I get this done, which could be in an hour."

e. o "I don't have time today, but I could help out the first thing tomorrow morning."

Say no and then clarify your reasons. This does not include longwinded statements filled with excuses, justifications, and rationalisations. It's enough that you do not want to say yes. Your clarification is given to provide the receiver more information so that he or she can better understand your position. Use your natural no. You may have developed your own style of saying no based on your past experience and personality. If so, use it. Make an empathetic listening statement and then say no. You may paraphrase the content and feeling of the request, and then state your no. Example: "I can see that it is important to you that one of my assistants gets your report done. I'd like to have someone do it, but my staff is already overburdened with high priority tasks to be completed by the end of the day." Say yes, and then give your reasons for not doing it or your alternative solution. This approach is very interesting. You may want to use it in situations when you are willing to meet the request, but not at the time or in the way the other person wants it.

a. o "Yes, I would be willing to help you out, but I won't have time until this afternoon."

b. o "Yes, I'd be willing to go

along with your second alternative, but not the third one you suggested."

The Persistent Response You can also use the persistent response. This method of saying no entails using a onesentence refusal statement and persistently repeating it as often as necessary, no matter what the person says. This technique is useful when dealing with very aggressive or manipulative people who won't take no for an answer. The persistent response can be effective in maintaining your refusal while continuing to be in charge of your emotions. Because this way of saying no is unusual and a bit complex, we will provide some detailed guidelines for applying it. First, select a concise, onesentence statement and repeat it no matter what the other person says or does. Examples: a. o "I understand how you feel, but I'm not willing..."

b. o "I'm not interested..."

c. o "I don't want to..."'

d. o "I'm uncomfortable doing that, so I don't want to..."

e. o "You might be right, but I'm not

interested."

After each statement by the other person, say your persistent response sentence. It's important that you don't get sidetracked by responding to any other issue the other person brings up. Guidelines for Saying No Say your statement

firmly, calmly, and as unemotionally as possible. Be aware of your nonverbal behaviour, making sure you don't come across passively or aggressively. Use plenty of silence to your advantage. Your silence will project the message that the other's statements and manipulation are futile. Be persistent. Simply state your response one more time than the other person makes his or her request, question, or statement. If the other person makes six statements, you make seven. If the other person makes three statements, you make four. Most often, the other person will feel ill at ease and stop after three or four statements. Other times, your response will move the other person to offer options you are willing to go along with.

Fourteen: Dealing with Challenging People

No matter where we are or how we conduct ourselves, we will encounter challenging people. If they are being very difficult, you'll notice that they don't necessarily play by the same rules that the rest of us do. In this , you'll learn to get to the root of the problem. We will also consider ways to speak about and deal with challenging people in your life. Getting to the Heart of the Problem If you think of the assessment you completed in Three, you classified yourself on a scale of assertiveness and emotionality. Dealing with challenging people (or difficult people, depending on how you define things), can be scary if you are a conflict avoider, but we are going to run into challenging people throughout our lives, so it's best to have a great set of tools to manage these issues. For example, you might be a supervisor who had to speak with an employee about some unacceptable behaviour. Perhaps they are always late for work, even though they are supposed to be answering the phones at 8:00 a.m. You've spoken with the employee a couple of times, and this led to improved punctuality for a few days before he slipped back to being late again. You have even spoken to your human resources consultant about suspending the employee, but they think that suspension is too harsh a punishment, despite your thorough recordkeeping that shows how often and how bad this behaviour is. You've been braver than plenty of workplace leaders because you have discussed the problem with the employee and with HR. But somehow, the behaviour continues, and you get a sense that you are not doing enough. What's Missing? You aren't getting to the heart of the problem. It's not enough to tell the individual that they are breaking the rules, or that a colleague has to cover their tasks when they are late. If it were enough, the behaviour would stop. Ask yourself what is really bothering you to get at what is really bothering them. Often the behaviour touches a nerve that is much more personal. For example, if you hired the receptionist because he was the son of a friend, and you felt that he was taking advantage of your relationship with him and his parents by not caring about the schedule, that's at a much deeper level than just the rules that are being broken.

If the person is perpetually late becaus do not set their alarm (and get up to it) because they really do not care about their job, or they feel underutilised, or they are being bullied by a coworker and cannot drag themselve at the root of the real problem. If you are content to only deal with the surface issues, and you are afraid to dig and get at the deeper issues, you will not be a part of improving the situation. You simp scrape the moss off of the surface, only to have it to grow back later. The ability to peel an infraction back to its core takes patience and precision. Sometimes we don't do this because it can take time to uncover the real problem. We can often find ourselves in too much of a hurry to do this properly. At other times, our emotions get involved and we really don't want to go there because we'll also have to deal with what is bothering us. If you don't stop to think about the big picture, you'll end up either missing the problem or going after too many problems at one. To stop yourself from being overinvolved, you must be able to state the problem in a single sentence. If you make it longer, you'll lose focus of the real problem.

The Three F's

To get to the heart of the problem, evaluate the facts, frequency, and frustrated relationship. Facts What are the facts of the issue? Create a list so that you do not get sidetracked while you plan your conversation. Don't drag in other stories or unrelated issues that have happened previously. If you are talking to someone about tardiness, then stick to that and leave things like poor report writing, gossiping, or not taking care of equipment out of the conversation. Frequency Make sure you have a very clear history of the frequency of the issue. In this case, how often is the individual late? How late are they? Describe the pattern like this: "This is the second time that I've called this to your attention. You agreed it would not happen again. Now I am concerned that I cannot trust you to keep a promise."

Revealing that you notice a pattern brings the history to the forefront. The history is important because repeated frequency erodes your trust. Frustrated Relationship If your real concern is about the relationship, but you only focus on the pattern, then you are not likely to get the change that you are aiming for. You have to discuss what is important to you in terms of the relationship. Explain that when they repeatedly ignore your expectations to be on time, they aren't just demonstrating a lack of commitment to the job. They are eroding your trust in them, your trust in their ability to do their job, and the possibility of being trusted with assignments in the future. Comments like the following can be helpful: a.

o I feel like I cannot trust you to get the work done.

b. o I feel like I am constantly nagging you and I don't like to do that.

c. o I feel like I can't trust you to keep the commitments you make.

Types of Difficult People

Challenging people are the ones that get themselves sorted into categories, just so we can get some kind of a handle or strategy for dealing with them. If you pick up almost any book on the subject, you will find descriptions of these people and some suggested ways of dealing with them. Today is no exception. In your workbook, you will see the names of nine types of people. There is space in the workbook for you to develop your own description of these people, along with strategies for working effectively with them. The Stubborn One Description a. o Stuck on their position

b. o Unable or unwilling to see other points of view

Solutions

a. o Engage them in discussion and debate.

b. o If you know you are correct, be persistent.

o

Provide documentation to help suppo your case.

a m

i

Solutions

a. o Figure out why they are being quiet.

b. o Ask them easy questions.

c. o Give positive feedback when

the person responds to your question.

The Jester

Description

a. o Good natured

b. o Distracted by other issues

Solutions

a. o Be professional and stay cool.

b. o If the behaviour is a real problem, add it privately and calmly.

c. o Find something to agree with.

d. o Keep the conversation moving.

The Senseless Talker

Description

a. o Talks about other problems

b. o Can't stay on track

Solutions

a. o Tie what they are saying back to the issue at hand.

b. o If you can't figure out the connection, ask them how it relates.

o Separate out the issues and

address one thing at a time. Off Base

Description

o Brings up ideas that are wrong

Solutions

a. o Correct their misconception in private and tactfully.

b. o Have documentation on hand to show your point.

Bigger Issues

Description

a. o Some personalities just clash

b. o Sometimes people are out to cause trouble

Solutions

a. o Keep the person focused on the task at hand.

b. o Ask lots of questions and keep them involved.

The Chatterbox

Description

o

Talks about personal matters when in a conversation

o Can be distracting and impede progress

Solutions

o Tactfully bring the conversation back to the matter at hand.

o

Ask easy questions and involve them discussion.

o If it is appropriate (i.e. with a colleagu phrases like, "I'm not comfortable discussing that at work. Would you like to have coffee later to talk about it?"

The Know-It-All

Description

They may have this attitude because:

a. o They are very interested in the topic at hand

b. o They are an expert in this subject

c. o They like to hear their own voice

Solutions

o

Ask them complex or detailed questi

a. o Be prepared! Have documentation ready.

b. o Have confidence in yourself and your ability to do your job.

The Whiner

Description

They may be complaining because:

a. o They have a legitimate complaint

b. o They are innately negative

c. o This is a pet peeve

Solutions

a. o Use active listening, empathy, and paraphrasing to ensure that they feel heard.

b. o Find out what they want from the conversation: a solution, advice, or j vent (as examples).

c. o Encourage them to think of solutions.

Fifteen: Presentations and Meetings

If you want to have an impact and demonstrate your brand, you will probably have to make presentations and speak up at meetings. The better you get at presenting yourself, the more likely you will do well in representing your brand. In this , you'll learn some tools to prepare you for meetings and to make presentations with impact. Speak up Public speaking is an opportunity for you to share what you have learned, broaden your network, and consider how the impact that you want to have can be shared. Whether you are pitching an idea, managing a crisis, or leading a meeting, effective speaking skills are critical to building credibility and carrying your message home. Even the most secure speakers know that they shouldn't wing it. No matter how well you know your product or service, or the story that you will share, it pays to plan. Think about what's most relevant to your audience and put their interests first. The numbers of people who aren't good speakers far outweigh those who are good, so there's lots of room for those who are just okay at public speaking. However, if you want to move your presentation from dull to dynamic, you can pump up your presentation in seven easy steps: .1. Talk to yourself. Practice in front of a mirror, trying to look relaxed and friendly. Stand with your arms in front of your body, with your elbows at 90 degrees and your palms at 45 degrees, leaning forward. That says, "I'm here, I'm .engaged, and I am being open with you."

2. 2. Have a point. Decide on your core message ahead of time. Bring the listener quickly to the point of action by crafting your theme into your introductory passages.

3. 3. Look them in the eye. Making frequent eye contact for a few seconds with listeners in the audience will create an aura of confidence and familiarity, which will help you get your message through. This also helps with making an emotional connection.

.4. Know the room. Boost

.your comfort level by checking out your speaking venue in advance. Practice with the microphone and any visual aids that you plan to use.

4. 5. Crack a smile. Smiling tells the audience you're enthusiastic and confident – just the kind of person they want to hear. Smiling can also relax you, reduce your heart rate, and help you breathe easier.

5. 6. Pump up the volume. People need more energy than they think to make a strong presentation. Use a slightly louder voice than you think you need, and work on your articulation.

6. 7. Don't be a comic. When you tell a joke, you can easily

offend other people. Tell a funny story about yourself instead. And write your own material – nothing damages credibility more than telling someone else's story and pretending that it is yours.

Preparing for Meetings

Our weeks are often filled with meetings. They are an excellent forum for sharing information and knowing what's going on, if they are managed well. Otherwise, meetings can seem like a big waste of time. To make the most of your meetings, we have several tips for you. Before the Meeting You need to be one of those people who are prepared for meetings when you arrive. This means arriving on time, reading materials that are supposed to be reviewed beforehand, and being prepared to participate as opposed to observing. Questions to ask yourself when preparing for a meeting include: a. o What information do you need to take with you?

b. o What do you want to get out of the meeting? Is there something in particular you want to get done?

c. o What contribution do you want to make? Are you just trying to get information? Do you want to follow up something that was raised at an earlier meeting

and check progress on it? Do you just want to draw attention to something? Do you want to make sure people are aware of a problem so that it doesn't happen again? When previewing reports and information, here are some tips: a. o When the reports arrive, scan them quickly to establish the scope and content.

b. o Write down any initial questions you may have and look for answers in the subsequent stages.

o Read conclusions, summaries, and recommendations first, then go back and read the content. (This improves retention of

the material.)

c. o Highlight sections or use sticky notes to make sections you want to refer to.

During the Meeting

Keep your contributions short. Your point is more likely to be understood and to have an impact if you keep it reasonably short. Resist the urge to go off on a tangent. Don't take so many notes that you lose track of what is going on. Most meetings are recorded by a minutetaker, so just write down the things that affect you (such as things that you are responsible for doing before the next meeting) or things that will jog your memory when it comes to reporting back to your employees or supervisor.

Avoid interrupting others to make your contribution. Do not let others interrupt you. In some meetings it is difficult to get your contribution in. If you do have to interrupt, do so firmly and politely.

Once speaking, do not be tempted to make several points for fear of not getting in again. Think about your nonverbal behaviour. Both the volume and tone of your voice are important here. If you are too quiet you will lose impact and be open to interruptions. Eye contact is also important. Remember to sit somewhere that makes it easy to catch the eye of the chair so that you can get your contribution in. While you are speaking, distribute your eye contact throughout the meeting, but direct it at those for whom your contribution is most relevant. This enables you to judge how your contribution is being received. Time your contributions. Raise points at the relevant time for the maximum impact. Do not wait until the last minute before airing an opposing view. If others are on the verge of making a decision, they will be irritated if you suddenly come up with opposition.

If you are brief and avoid interruptions, you stand a good chance of getting a reaction. If no one reacts, however, don't be shy about asking the group or an individual for a reaction. If you are asked to give an opinion on something that has come up unexpectedly, don't feel pressured into giving an offthecuff answer if you are not confident that you know your own strengths. It is perfectly acceptable to ask to be given time to think about it.

Leading Meetings If you are leading meetings, here are five ingredients for managing them effectively:

a. o Be a leader or member of the meeting committed to resolving issues, not just talking about them.

b. o Hold meetings that focus on important issues and guide the group in resolving them.

c. o Make sure that meeting leaders and members have the skills needed to work together effectively.

d. o Establish a means for recording ideas and keeping track of what goes on.

e. o Arrange a meeting location free of interruption from other activities.

Recommended Reading List

If you are looking for further information on this topic, we have included a recommended reading list below. Berkley, Susan. Speak to Influence (Second Edition). Campbell Hall Press, 2004. Bilanich, Bud, and Lydia Ramsey. Success Tweets For Creating

Positive Personal Impact. Front Row Press, 2011. Boothman, Nicholas. How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less.

Workman Publishing Company, 2000. Canfield, Jack, and Janet Switzer. The Success Principles. William Morrow Paperbacks, 2006. Cialdini, Robert.

Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. Collins, 2006. Fisher, Roger, Bruce Patton, and William Ury. Getting to Yes. Penguin, 2011. Post, Emily, and Peter Post. Emily

Post's The Etiquette Advantage in Business. William Morrow, 2005. Wheeler, Alina. Designing Brand Identity (Third Edition).

Wiley and Sons, 2009.

Post-Book Assessment

1. The 5 D's of resiliency include developing a positive selfconcept, developing relationships, developing vision, and...

prevention strategies

d. Doing things for yourself

2. True or False: Brian Tracy said, "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it

d. All of the above.

1. 4. True or False: Having a

personal brand means that you will

have an impact.

2. 5. Networking to expand my personal impact is something that I can do through:

mastermind group

d. All of the above

6. Listening well and receiving

the sender's message:

.a. Is easy if you just open your ears

.b. Is hard work

.c. Takes attention and commitment

7. In order for me build

credibility, I have to:

.a. Do what I say I will do

.b. Take responsibility when I

make mistakes .c. Be there for people .d. All of the above

8. In order to decide what kind

of impact I want to have: .a. I need to work on my posture .b. I need to explore my goals

and personal brand .c. I need to go on a year long backpacking holiday .d. None of the above

9. In order to achieve the impact I wish to have, it's a good idea to: (Select all that apply.)

.a. Remove the low value tasks from my routine

.b. Take my partner for dinner and celebrate the launch of the new me

.c. Review the habits of successful people

.d. Buy the most expensive clothes I can find

10. True or False: I can control what people say about me on social media platforms.

Personal Action Plan

You are nearly finished Personal Brand: Maximizing Personal Impact, and we want to help you take what you have learned and apply it in a very meaningful way. Many people have all kinds of great ideas when they finish a dynamic course like this, but things can come up that we need to deal with, and those ideas can be forgotten. In this , you will complete a personal action plan to take what you have learned and set some concrete goals to help you to make the changes that you want. Writing your goals down, and then checking in on your progress and making adjustments from time to time, are essential steps in getting where you want to be. We recommend that you take screenshots of your plan, or copy your goals down in your notebook, so that you can refer to them regularly. I am already doing these things well: I want to improve these areas: I have these resources to help me:

Negotiation

The business environment is based entirely on negotiation. Even in early times man had already learnt to negotiate a deal by exchanging articles, animal labour or coins. In those days exchanges took place in specifically measured units, for example, a shekel of silver for a sheaf of wheat. Those who had more ingenuity in the business circle in time learnt that should he be able to negotiate a barter in such a way that he could acquire more than the fixed value, he in fact made a bigger profit out of such a deal. In later years we find that the businessman would argue about the size of a slaughter animal. The one party would like to offer a lamb while the other party would rather like to receive a fully grown sheep. The principle of fixed values had faded.

As wealth grew through the years, it later became apparent that the art of negotiation earned substantial dividends. In modern times the businessman finds himself in a negotiating situation every minute of the day. Whether it is an article to be bought or stock to be sold, negotiations take place between the supplier and buyer. But negotiations also take place on many other levels. In these days negotiations take place in respect of labour, rent, interest rates, in fact there is hardly any action that a businessman can put into effect without having to negotiate.

Because of the complexity of political, social and labour negotiations, the art of bargaining has become a very intricate issue, to the extent that the big multinational companies as well as governments (without exception) make use of negotiators who have been intensively trained and prepared for the sole purpose of negotiation.

Inevitably we all have a natural atonement to negotiation because we inadvertently give expression to our ability to negotiate since childhood. It will be virtually inconceivable that our civilization could survive should the element of negotiation be omitted. Because of the phenomenal role that negotiating abilities play in the success of a business concern, we will Endeavour to develop the skills of the business entrepreneur to the extent that he will enter a negotiation situation with prepared objectives. There are of course many personal qualities that have an important role in negotiation, but in this lecture we will suffice by an intensive study of negotiation techniques. Because many actions to be discussed are applied in a specific sequence, we wish to recommend that the lectures be studied as such.

WHAT IS NEGOTIATION

When looking at the Latin, we find that the word negotiation means "business". The first very important phenomenon which comes to the fore when analyzing the negotiating action is that in virtually all cases there is a winner and a loser. The most important question that arises is how much you can gain from any given bargaining situation. Exactly how good a negotiator are you? How good is your natural ability to negotiate? Let's evaluate a number of questions which have been compiled as a short test to determine your current ability to negotiate.

Now back to our definition.

What is negotiation? Negotiation is a process whereby two or more parties come to an agreement which is satisfactory to all parties concerned. The question that now arises is how could there be a winner or a loser with both parties having been satisfied? Let us take a look at a practical case.: Two well-known businessmen are having a game of golf and at the nineteenth hole:

Mr. Player to Dr Luyt.....

"Dr Luyt, that farm of yours near the Kruger Park , is it still for sale ....

I will offer you R8 Million Rand for it."

"Accepted ", says Dr Luyt, "the farm is yours."

Deal Done.

This is a beautiful example of two real gentlemen concluding an amicable business transaction. Both parties are happy and satisfied. What we are wondering about is whether Dr Luyt would still be so happy if he had known that the buyer would have been prepared to pay as much as 15 Million Rand for the property. Furthermore, we wonder whether Mr. Player would still be as happy if he had known that Dr Luyt would have accepted as little as R5 Million for the farm. This is not an example of the ideal business transaction, but rather an example of a very bad transaction. Both of these gentlemen are throwing away tens of thousands of Rands within a period of a single minute, thus making radical mistakes which will not be made by any student of this course. In this instance there was no winner or loser, because there was no negotiation in the true sense of the word. During negotiations each party will Endeavour to find out what the other party really wants, and how determined he is to obtain his objectives. The scrutiny of the other party's requirements and limits form the crux of this chess game. In this instance everything counts: every question, every answer, and every intonation, the manner of speaking, the manner of answering and the pressure being applied.

The winner will be the negotiator who succeeds the best in establishing what his opponent's aspirations are, and how much he can afford to pay for them. The negotiator who wins has acquired the art of concluding the transaction at the peak (or centre) of the negotiations. The negotiator, who carries a transaction through relentlessly and regardless of any adverse effects it may have on his opponent, is in fact the loser. The reason being, that the opponent is perhaps forced to skimp on the quality of finish of the article.

It could well be that the few Rand you save are not worth the expense of having an important business relationship jeopardized. The really sound transaction is the one with the best possible advantage to you without the opponent being compelled to supply inferior quality or not being able to make sufficient profit to justify his existence.

We have now established the essence of negotiation. Let us now concentrate on its application. There are four strategic facets which have to be considered to conclude a transaction successfully:

1. 1. The planning and preparatory phase which is executed long before the negotiating session is reached.

2. 2. The initial preparatory meeting at which the two opponents

disclose their individual offers while clarifying and justifying the figures.

3. The true negotiating debate is realized. This could be labeled "the war of changed expectations". In this instance, questions are asked and answered. The parties raise

different opinions, attack and defend until consensus is reached and a mutual decision is taken.

3. 4. The transaction is finalized or stalemate is reached. That is the framework of this specific lecture. Let us summarize the process of negotiation as being the quest for consensus between two (or more) parties at a junction somewhere in the

future. It is principally these differences of opinion which distinguish negotiation from mere conversation. The crux being that both parties should feel mutually satisfied at having reached a gratifying agreement. Is it not strange, therefore, that in so many negotiating situations both parties are completely satisfied with the transaction concluded, and to the extent that only an impartial outsider will probably be able to say which party got the better deal. At the conclusion of the transaction both parties consider themselves as having obtained the maximum possible advantage, and that no greater benefit could have been obtained.

Negotiation is therefore the

achievement of a sense of satisfaction and not so much the result of the negotiations. Negotiation could in certain instances be seen as a game of poker where the credibility of the player is the overriding factor. The opponent must feel that he can believe you when you state or strongly imply that you have reached your optimum. Likewise, the negotiator will not conclude before being convinced that he has driven his opponent to the limit.

Credibility is therefore the crux of the negotiating action. It is of paramount importance when deciding upon the initial offer, as well as the granting or rejection of concessions which follow sooner or later. The loss of credibility could have a negative effect, particularly in the event of misunderstanding during initial negotiations for instance when making an unreasonable opening offer which forces the negotiator to change his direction abruptly, thereby displaying his false bargaining.

In planning a negotiation session it is important that pertinent questions are asked, and a clear definition and guidelines be given by both parties. In this respect we could mention aspects such as the negotiator's technical knowledge of the product to be negotiated, the fixing of the strategic value of the item, and whether it could possibly be obtained from another supplier. It is important to establish a framework of extremes which will be acceptable to management to avoid the rejection of a settlement reached by the two negotiators.

The expression "I must do my homework well" is apt, so that the negotiator knows what to expect, but more important what he expects to receive. Obviously the more information obtained regarding the possible tactics employed by, or the bargaining position of the opposition, the better the negotiator can formulate his offer.

Let us now discuss the initial action in more detail. This action takes place when the two parties meet, and it is here that the first impression, which could be lasting, is formed. It is here that the battle begins. In his opening address the seller, with the powers of conviction at his disposal and backed by facts and arguments, will try to convince the buyer that his price setting is more than reasonable, as well as being extremely good value for money. The buyer, on the other hand, takes note of the seller's price and decides what he will believe ¬everything or nothing.

Likewise, the buyer's first move might be influenced by his reaction to the seller's offer. It is wise for the buyer to pretend that he is considering the seller's initial offer in order to create a genial atmosphere. What then determines the initial offer and price setting may be rightly asked? Let us examine the following: There is a correlation between the negotiator's aspirations and the level upon which the transaction will be concluded. In general, the higher one aims the better one's chance to conclude on a higher level. Neither of the parties in fact expects to conclude the transaction on the figures presented initially. The buyer knows this and so does the seller. Both parties therefore leave space for negotiation, or rather space for concessions. Once again, credibility is the keyword during these initial stages.

No negotiator can consider it a compliment if his initial asking price was R1000 per item when the deal is eventually closed on only R100 per item. Nor can the buyer be complimented; who was initially prepared to pay only R100 per item eventually ends up by paying R1000. With realism in mind, aim high.

There is always the possibility that the buyer wants your product more desperately than you think. Conversely, aim low because there is the possibility that the seller is desperate to get rid of his product.

Both parties face the risk of losing credibility by making an initial offer from which it will be virtually impossible to withdraw later.

Strategically one should always try to force the other party to reveal his initial offer first, thus determining his way of thinking before you fire your first shot. Your initial offer could be as high as you wish, with one proviso: it must be justifiable.

It could, of course, happen quite easily that the initial offer of the other party is much higher than expected. This is obviously done to shock the opponent.

Although this tactic may have the desired effect, the veteran negotiator will not be deterred, but will maintain the initial low counter offer, once again on condition that it is justifiable. We should, however, always guard against an offer which could be regarded by the other party as being ridiculous, although the price setting may upset him. Whatever the initial offer, whether high or low, price setting must be substantiated by both parties with relevant facts.

A good example which comes to mind is the trading in of a used vehicle. The experienced dealer will normally offer you far less than the book value of the car. He will point out small scratches on the paintwork, worn tyres and the fact that financing is not available on older models such as yours. The salesman's initial shots are intended to gain as much ground as possible to allow for careful concessions later. The seller, on the other hand, expects much more for his vehicle for sentimental reasons.

CONCESSIONS

After having fired the initial shots, it is inevitable that one or both parties will grant concessions on his initial offer in order to stimulate progress. The question is how much and when. The golden rule is that the first concession should be very small. When referring to a concession, it need not necessarily be defined in terms of Rands and cents, but could entail other considerations such as terms of payment, delivery date, packaging or other small perks.

A very small concession will also have the additional advantage of substantiating the initial offer as being realistic, and this could furthermore prove profitable should this point be established. At this stage the other party may appear to be offended as a result of the very small concession being granted, but the experienced negotiator will not be deterred. We have to bear in mind that this is a diplomatic game and that acting plays an important role. The opponent may react aggressively or even adopt a pleading attitude. The experienced negotiator will observe these reactions very carefully, but will not allow further bargaining to be influenced by this. He will not be upset in any way whatsoever.

The other party is normally shocked by your small concession and this causes him to doubt the fairness of his initial offer. This is, in fact, the objective we wish to achieve at this point.

His initial offer may of course not necessarily be totally unrealistic, but it is the object of the experienced negotiator to pretend that it is. Bear in mind that we do not merely wish to conclude a transaction, but rather to conclude the very best transaction without any of the parties being done in. The point is: should your opponent be convinced that you could in no way consider his initial offer regarding money and terms of payment, you have already won the first round.

Negotiation means everything except an intersection halfway between the objectives of the two parties. However, that is the coward's way out by saying "split the difference". Aim high, strike high. Aim low, strike low.

Let us establish who the winner is in negotiations. The winner is the negotiator who concludes the best possible deal for himself while his opponent receives the minimum, without him being hurt in the process.

How do you win?

1. 1. Plan in advance and do your planning thoroughly.

2. 2. Set your initial offer on a level that will adequately allow for any concessions.

3. 3. Keep concessions small, slow, and concede as little as possible.

Maybe we should illustrate the principles of these initial negotiations by way of the following imaginary property deal: You intend purchasing a house for which you have budgeted R600,000. The estate agent believes that you could possibly buy a property for R700,000 or maybe even R800,000 but he doesn't know for sure. You are convinced that the property being advertised for R800,000 could be bought for R600,000.

You see your dream home being advertised in the newspaper for R800 000 and you and the seller get together.

The seller expects R700 000 for the property and you are prepared to offer only R600 000.

Let us now put the above facts into practice by simulating the deal. Ask one of your colleagues to be the seller of the property and you are the buyer. Implement the above principle and try to buy the property at the best possible price. We will now give you a number of arguments that you might use in this negotiating process.

.* What guarantees does the seller give you?

.* Is there an existing bond on the property which could be taken over?

.* On what terms does the seller wish to sell?

.* Very important: how urgent is the sale of the property?

.* Has he been transferred?

.* Or is he merely trying to get a good price?

.* What inherent shortcomings can you point out to the seller?

For example, a very small bathroom, a poorly designed kitchen, uncarpeted floors, garage without doors, etc.

The secret is to be well prepared. Find out as much as possible about the seller, his background and his circumstances. It might just be that he is in desperate need of cash. Should you be prepared to advance a few thousand Rand immediately as deposit, he might be willing to drop the price considerably in order to solve his immediate problems. The lesson is therefore to investigate his background and circumstances thoroughly. Keep the pressure on your opponent by a barrage of penetrating questions without getting personal or being unethical. This could upset him and thereby upset the process of negotiation.

Now add to the list, selecting 25 imaginary, well prepared questions and/or viewpoints. As soon as you get the knack of this you will be surprised at how easy it becomes.

This method is of course the method we will employ during these negotiating situations and it therefore becomes clear how important it is for you to be well prepared for any negotiation. Just to help you along with your list, let us examine a few other questions: Is the property situated near a primary and high school?

Is the property within walking distance of a shopping centre? Is the property near a bus route? Is it situated on a busy main road? Is it properly fenced? Now add your own.

THE DANGERS IN NEGOTIATION

Because we are involved in a very intricate game of chess during the process of negotiation, our main defense is to be constantly alert and cautious at all times. During negotiations, as in the case of the battle of love, we could expect our opponent to implement various tactics, the ethics of which could sometimes be questioned.

Our first danger in negotiations is to trust the opponent in any event, particularly during those unguarded moments when negotiations are not

conducted on a strictly formal basis.

Let us observe one of these tactical moves which could be either extremely dangerous to ourselves, or be implemented with considerable success, depending on which side you're on. The telephone rings. Your opponent informs your secretary that he is to leave by plane within a few hours and that he wants to talk to you quickly in order to conclude the deal. This phone call may be regarded as quite harmless. After all, it does not sound as if he could be an enemy, and especially at the beginning of the conversation he uses some friendly phrases. Because the telephone is used, you are under pressure because for some or other reason a person is always in a hurry when speaking on the telephone.

Your opponent asks a few rapid questions to which you give a few rapid answers. Accept and recognize this call immediately for what it is -a wolf in sheep's clothing.

The purpose of this call is to catch the other party off guard and to try to force a quick concession. The biggest danger, however, is that you are tempted to say too much.

The secret while negotiating is to listen carefully, to ask many questions and to offer as little information as possible. South Africans are usually nervous when a lull occurs in a conversation. Use this silence to your advantage. Because your opponent will probably feel uneasy during this lull, he will most likely say anything just to keep the conversation going. During these unguarded moments, important clues are sometimes given away. This is also a promising tactic when such a telephone conversation has taken place.

The best way to handle these calls, should they be put through to you or should you be unable to avoid them, is to ask him to explain his proposal step be step, while you carefully take down what he is saying. Remember once again to ask incisive questions. Carefully repeat the information to him to ascertain that the facts have been correctly taken down. You should also make it quite clear to your opponent that you are not in the position to give an immediate answer, but that you will rather contact him again.

At the same time the opposite is, of course, also true and the telephone could be profitably used when you want to force a concession while your opponent, unlike yourself, is not prepared for the confrontation. The telephone causes definite anxiety in your opponent and creates a sense of urgency which could be used to your advantage. The most important advantage is, of course, the element of surprise being created by this phone call.

The telephone lends itself to genial conversation and you should guard against the opposition abusing this to obtain more information from you. The question, of course, when receiving such a call, is whether your opponent is, in fact, on the point of leaving for some or other destination. In this specific instance the best answer would probably be for your secretary to say that you are not available.

One of the most dangerous zones during negotiations is talking too much. It is only natural for you to illustrate a sound view with numerous facts. The experienced negotiator, however, knows that for each statement being made and for each fact being established, a question could be raised. When the opponent raises a question, however, great care should be taken when answering to supply the minimum amount of information. While you keep firing questions at your opponent, he will be concentrating on his defense. At some stage or other a weak spot will be penetrated, and being off guard, he might say something or supply some information which could swing the negotiation process in your favor.

The rules in this instance are therefore the following: say as little as possible, only answer the barest minimum and keep firing your questions. Take special note of his attitude towards certain questions and should these unsettle him, zoom in and concentrate on these. Negotiation is not a social event between two friends, but a serious battle for advantage. Sentiment and an aspiration for popularity plays no role in serious negotiation. This does not mean that you will be rude or bombastic.

It is sometimes unbelievable to what extremes negotiators will go to establish what the other party's weak and strong points are. We should also not regard industrial espionage as fiction. This possibility warrants serious considerations, especially when big money is at stake and your own staff could be used by the opponent to squeeze information from them concerning you and your undertaking. This information if often obtained by cultivating a social relationship with some of your staff and thus obtaining the required information. You should be particularly mindful of keeping the number of informed staff and colleagues limited to key figures during important negotiations, as the slightest leak of information could reach your opponent. It often happens that even your best friends and confidants with no ulterior motives could channel information to your opponent through social conversation. The secret is that the negotiator should not share his strategy or his tactics. Saying too little will not ruin the negotiations. Saying too much supplies your opponent with ammunition that could sink your ship.

One of the biggest dangers during negotiations is the granting of concessions or making allowances after having established your initial point of view.

Concessions must be seen as a well-calculated amendment to the initial view which is presented in such a way that it will complement the credibility of your initial stand. The obvious disadvantage of concessions is that too much could be given away. When too large a concession is made, or when it is made to easily, your opponent will get stuck in eagerly and will consider your action to be a sign of weakness. He will immediately demand more and bigger concessions while refusing you the same. The problem with concessions is that the giver never knows whether his concession was too generous. Anyway, a concession should in all instances be substantiated with a very good reason. It is sound policy therefore that before granting any concession, you should leave the venue for a while, maybe under the pretext of having to make a phone call.

On your return to continue the negotiations, you make a small concession in view of special circumstances that have just come to light. However, when the opponent grants a concession, it should be established why the concession was made at that specific moment.

It would be pointless for the poor negotiator to withhold as much information as possible from his opponent in order to strengthen his bargaining position while the opponent gains access to any required information regarding the negotiations through other informed personnel. It is common knowledge that experienced negotiators often employ sophisticated spying techniques. Information could easily be obtained by merely taking the secretary or any other employee to dinner. These people will gladly supply information, in most cases without realizing that vital information is being handed out for free. Such employees supply information merely to prove their knowledge and efficiency at work. One of the biggest dangers in any negotiation is to uphold wartime security in your own organization concerning any information or access to persons who could promote your opponent's changes.

In this instance it is often the private secretary who, without necessarily realizing it, supplies vital information either by phone or directly to the seemingly innocent opponent's questions. The secretary usually has knowledge of, or access to information because of the scope of her work and because she is not aware of these dangers.

Is there a flaw to be found in his set-up? Is he anxious to conclude the deal: Has his fighting spirit been dampened?

Is it important to him to conclude the deal because of cash flow problems?

Is there any pressure being applied to him by his seniors? It might even be that his wife or member of the family is not well. The possibilities are numerous. These are gaps that have to be noticed. While we discuss the subject of dangers, the opposite is also true and while negotiating, we should make sure that we are not subjected to these pressures. We therefore have two types of concessions: Actual concessions backed by sound reasons and explanations and forced concessions brought about by unknown forces. The experienced negotiator notes the difference immediately.

Let us take another look at the

property deal. During negotiations the seller suddenly surprises by stating his willingness to accept R750,000. Which of the following actions would you pursue?

1. 1. State that the concession is not significant enough.

2. 2. Congratulate him on a wise decision.

3. 3. Grant an equivalent concession.

4. 4. Try to get one more concession.

Of these four possibilities, the first and the last actions would have been the best. By granting this concession the seller has probably indicated that he is willing to grant much more and that he has not reached his limit. The choice of either number two or three would have been a step in the wrong direction.

Let's study the question of concessions. In our property deal the following remark would have been significant: "If you are willing to grant occupation within 60 days, I would be willing to offer R610,000." Let us once again consider the principles: 1. 1. Do not accept the first offer because the initial price is the highest the seller expects to receive.

2. 2. Don't be quick in granting a concession, and if you do, it should be small. Here we moved from R600 000 to R610 000 -a mere hundred thousand difference. Why not only R50,000 yes, why not? Let your opponent battle for every inch of progress he makes. Do not make any concession for which a substantial benefit is not granted in exchange. Concessions in this case do not necessarily mean a concession in terms of Rand, but as in our example, factors such as date of occupation, occupation rent, and date of transfer, interest rates and transfer fees are important. When granting a concession, insist upon a concession in your favor, preferably bigger.When your opponent grants a concession, there is no reason whatsoever why you should do the same. When a negotiator has to battle for a small concession, it is of great value to him should he succeed. He then feels that he has achieved as much as he ever could, and if he has to battle, he feels satisfied with his achievement when the deal is concluded.

The actual questions being asked require closer attention. Most people have the notion of giving a quick answer to a difficult question, believing that a rapid answer sounds more credible. A slow answer may be regarded as a sign of falsehood. The danger though lies in giving a rapid but ill-considered answer which might benefit the opponent. It is therefore imperative that each question is considered very carefully and answered slowly, or not at all. Why must all questions be answered? A difficult question can often be avoided with a counter question. You are not obliged to answer any question whatsoever. Your credibility is not affected in any way by replying as follows: "The information you require will have to be obtained" or even easier "I don't know".

When diplomats and negotiators of giant multinational companies or governments are being prepared for intensive and difficult negotiations, they are subjected to simulated sessions where colleagues will bombard them with questions from every possible angle. Questions covering virtually every possible aspect are put to prepare him for the real action. A session like this with your colleagues who play the part of your opponents could prove to be invaluable in difficult negotiations because answers to possible questions are formulated in advance. Which of the following possibilities do you consider to be the most effective in our property deal example to affect a lower price?

1. 1. Mention that there are

various other houses in the area worth considering.

2. 2. Establish the fact that you are paying cash.

3. 3. Tell him that there is a shortage of buyers in these times.

4. 4. Point out that the property does not represent good value for money.

5. 5. Ask him to accommodate you because you can't afford to pay more.

We consider the first statement

probably to have the best effect because it creates a sense of uncertainty regarding related values of which you seem to have thorough knowledge. The other possibilities do not have the same bargaining power.

BARGAINING POWER

How much bargaining power do we really have? Our couple in their new home wishes to buy a new car. In order to obtain finance they enter this mighty banking institution to see the credit manager. The bank has been designed to give an impression of power which in turn creates a sense of inferiority in the prospective buyers. After all, the bank does have a lot of money. Our couple already feels inferior. How can such a mighty bank allow them credit? The credit manager in turn has to bear in mind that millions of Rand are being invested with the bank every minute of the day and that this money has to be lent in order to earn interest otherwise the bank has to pay the interest out of its own pocket. He is only too pleased to receive applications from people with good credit records who wish to borrow money. The credit manager in his flashy suit is probably thinking how fortunate he is to grant this credit application seeing that he desperately needs to meet his quota. Just think of the many advertisements you see in the daily press in which finance if offered to buy motor cars. The question now arises who has the bargaining power? You, the borrower, or the bank. Now, for something interesting.

The credit manager hands the couple neatly printed forms covered in fine print and setting out every possible condition on which the bank lends money to its customers. The bank utilizes a very legal and extremely forceful bargaining power, i.e. the power of the law.

If the bank presents me with a document in which all conditions are clearly explained, I accept this as a legal or standard contract. The real facts are that the financial institution neutralizes all further terms and negotiations by adding clever and misleading clauses. There are many of these types of agreements which are designed to neutralize further negotiation. A good example is a hire purchase agreement, a contract accepted by many businessmen as the beginning and end of all agreements.

Agreements between car dealers and the public in which certain so-called guarantees are offered, but which in actual fact merely limit negotiation, also come to mind.

It is generally accepted that such a contract (or conditions) is the only and final agreement that could possibly be concluded between the party concerned and its customers, merely because it is printed. Don't be misled. All agreements and contracts are negotiable, whether printed, standard or otherwise.

Let's consider an elementary example. The advertised price of an article. It is generally accepted that should an item bear a price tag, that price is final and everyone pays it and therefore the price is not negotiable. But why not?

With a few exceptions where prices are controlled by law, all prices are negotiable. Offer the car dealer a lower price and note his reaction. These examples prove that we could be misled by merely accepting that the other party has all the bargaining power.

In our earlier example of the property deal, we informed the seller that there were other properties available at competitive prices. What actually happened was that you robbed him of this bargaining power which he would have had, had it been the only property available. Our bargaining power is always greater than what we expect. Think what the Mafia leader, All Capone, once said: "You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than with a kind word alone."

The buyer always has the most power, simply because he has the right to buy. Therefore we can make use of "a kind word and a gun". Likewise, the seller has the right to refuse the sale. The purpose of negotiation is, however, to convince, and not to win. The extent of the negotiator's bargaining power should be realized by both parties.

It would be pointless if the seller was not aware of his strong position and could therefore not utilize this strength, or being aware of his bargaining power and not using it would definitely not intimidate his opponent, and he would continue to strengthen his position in the bargaining situation. The seller might in this case find himself in a desperate situation which compels him to sell immediately at virtually any price. This is bargaining power, but should the buyer not be aware of this, it will have no benefit.

A buyer might desperately be

looking for a property in a certain area for a specific reason, e.g. to conclude a deal immediately before the reopening of schools. This will give the seller greater bargaining power provided that he is aware of that fact. This, at present nonexistent bargaining power, could be realized if he believed that his opponent knew of his predicament of, for instance, having to sell urgently. Let us assume that the bold and confident buyer made an exceptionally low offer. The seller, being self-conscious because of his predicament, believes that information has leaked out and that the buyer is aware of this and convinces himself that there is no other explanation for the impetuous attitude of the buyer. His opponent's position of strength has become a reality, while the seller has to negotiate from a weak position. This is a serious error of judgment.

The experienced negotiator is always confident that the opponent will not be able to expose his weak points. As a matter of fact, he pretends there are none. At the same time he realizes there are definite weak points in his opponent's set-up and he concentrates on locating them. The loser is the one who wastes time, money and energy by worrying about the bargaining or super power of his opponent. The winner will contest these powers and find ways of neutralizing them.

In this way one can negotiate and probably obtain a lower interest rate by contesting the so¬called standard financing agreement. Virtually without exception the only question asked is whether the application was approved or not. It is accepted that the interest rate is fixed.

The moment the client enquires about the interest rate, the financial institution will most probably quote a lower than maximum rate in order to avoid any further negotiation. Should the prospective borrower not accept the super power of the financial institution, he may find that he could force down the interest rate even further by a couple of percentage points. Even the super power of most of the big business institutions may be contested, thereby concluding a better deal. The super power of the opponent should never be accepted without reservations. You always have more bargaining power than you think.

Let us look at the following example: "Miss, when is your next directors' or management meeting?" It might appear to be an innocent question, merely suggesting an interest in the company. In fact, this question may be asked because the opponent wishes to do his planning in a certain way and make use of pressure tactics before the meeting to enable him to use this information in determining dates and times for negotiations.

It is sometimes surprisingly easy to obtain even the agenda of such a meeting in advance by the use of a little charm. It is most important that the secretary and top personnel be trained to give correct answers to questions instead of supplying irresponsible information just to prove that they are in the know.

APPLYING PRESSURE

Pressure puts strain on a negotiator and the discreet application of pressure could yield positive results. In this regard we think of financial pressure, being pressed for time and performance. These are only a few examples of pressure under which a negotiator must function. Risk is therefore very closely related to pressure, because if there is no risk, there is no pressure. Pressure could be caused by the risk of losing your job if you don't perform and the consequent loss of profits, and pressure because of a bad reputation.

Looking at the secret services of the world, the Mafia and the likes, one realizes that there are other methods of applying pressure in order to achieve results. A classic example is the technique of the brute and the sympathizer.

One negotiator plays the part of the mean brute by behaving badly and then leaving the room while the other party then sympathizes by way of perhaps a glass of water and comforting words of encouragement. This form of psychological pressure is applied to the negotiator, in this case the person being questioned, who will later take the sympathizer in his confidence and disclose certain information. The psychological strategy here is that the person being questioned finds himself so relieved after having been severely pressurized that he will readily answer questions and supply information to the sympathizer.

The person being questioned, in this case the negotiator, is so bewildered and confused that he does not realize that the sympathizer as well as the mean brute both work for the same team with only one objective, and that is results.

Which of the two eventually succeeds in obtaining the information is of no concern, provided that this objective is achieved. One should of course be careful when applying this psychological tactic to the day to day negotiating actions. This relationship could be applied to us in a very subtle way without us realizing what it is all about. The technique should, however, be clearly realized for what it is, namely psychological brain washing. Another important factor in the negotiation action is the question of being pressed for time.

In a negotiation situation we often find the one party uncertain of whether or not to conclude a deal, and by applying pressure relating to time, the deal can be forced, for example: "We must finalize the deal today because prices rise on Monday", or "Our special discount applies today only." There are a number of these pressure clichés being applied by salesmen on the public.

We, as professional negotiators, should remember that the principle of being pressed for time can be applied successfully on our opponents, but at the same time not to succumb when this tactic is applied to us.

The successful negotiator, when being pressed for time as in the case of prices rising in fifteen days, realizes that he still has fourteen days left before having to take action. He will probably wait the full fourteen days in case something crops up that might benefit him. A buyer makes an offer to purchase property. This has to be accepted within 48 hours after which the offer lapses. The seller is subjected to emotional pressure because he firmly believes that when the 48 hour period expires, the prospective buyer's interest will suddenly disappear. He restricts his thought processes by concentrating on whether to say yes or no to the offer. The person making the offer, however, is in a very strong position because he could always continue his negotiations whether his offer is accepted or not. We therefore have to accept the fact of being pressed for time for what it really is and apply it skillfully. Another important aspect of pressure is physical pressure.

Any negotiator who has been involved in endless sessions or tiresome negotiating actions knows that he is overcome by fatigue and when it is getting late, he becomes anxious to conclude the deal in order to go home or to report to his superiors.

The experienced negotiator often applies this technique by keeping his opponent busy longer than necessary. This he does by way of inspection in loco, sightseeing tours and the likes, purely to tire his opponent. Some of these techniques are often applied in the international negotiating arena and therefore specific attention is given to the physical fitness of senior negotiators, particularly in the East. This psychological prostration is often applied by businessmen by forcing their opponents to attend time consuming business lunches and cocktail parties in order to tire them to the extent that they become anxious to conclude the deal and then leave. It is also here that the "what is your lowest price" technique is often applied to conclude the negotiations when it is apparent that the opponent is tired.

When a negotiator, from a

purely psychological point of view, is subjected to physical pressure for some time, he will naturally feel compelled to conclude the deal having spent so much time and effort on the negotiations, even if it means having to be content with far less than he initially bargained for. He will thus conclude any deal even if it is to regard the long hours of suffering as not having been wasted. Another interesting pressure technique is popular with Americans. The negotiator is accompanied by an expert or experts with specialized technical knowledge. These experts are used to keep the opponent busy and to tire him with tedious and sometimes useless sessions.

Let us not forget, however, that for every expert there is always an equally qualified expert on the other side. The lengthy technical explanations of the standard or quality of a product have to be seen for what they are, namely a negotiating technique. The golden rule here is that the ignorant or uninformed must in no circumstances be allowed to debate any technical detail with the expert. If it is unavoidable that the discussion should be continued by applying the hypothetical technique, namely that the technical expert is informed that his facts could be accepted temporarily for the purpose of negotiation, but that the information is neither finally accepted nor repudiated by the other party, it will mean that a situation of "we take note and will react later" is adopted. Even though the misconception sometimes occurs that negotiators demand maximum authority in decision making during a negotiating action, the pressure of limited authority could sometimes prove to be a very effective weapon.

It often happens in a negotiation situation that a salesman tries to sell an article to a businessman, and the prospective buyer, being the sole proprietor, is placed under extreme pressure. By stating that he is not the only decision maker, and that his partners should be consulted, a strong defence action is created. Likewise the pressure of limited authority could sometimes prove to be a very effective weapon. "I would have liked to conclude the deal with you. Unfortunately my authority is limited to R10 000 and if the deal exceeds this, I must put the matter before the purchasing committee. However, should we be able to conclude a deal not exceeding my limit, we could most probably finalize it this instant."

In order to avoid a lengthy process of a committee and the risk of rejection, the opponent may decide to accept a lower price in order to conclude the deal immediately. Limited authority could be very flexible and the experienced negotiator will conduct a feasibility study. Here are some more phrases to describe limited authority: "It is against company policy." "Decisions of this nature can only be taken at a directors' meeting." "I do not have the authority to commit my accounts department." The crux of the matter is if you do not have the authority, you naturally cannot grant concessions.

The opposite is also just as important for the clever negotiator, as we would have made an in-depth study of the powers and delegated powers of his opponent before their meeting. This information would have given him the ammunition to return the opponent's fire. The opponent will, whenever he finds himself cornered, tactically move towards a position of limited authority which could then be contradicted. If it should appear that the opponent genuinely lacks authority, it would be wise not to enter into any negotiations, but to demand an opposition delegation on a higher level. Another interesting situation often found during the negotiation action is the phrase used by an irritated opponent: "Take it or leave it." The following is a typical example of this: "The price is R350, take it or leave it." When you are confronted with this situation remember that the pressure could be applied in two ways.

First, the negotiator is physically exhausted because of time limitations, or he does not wish to continue for other reasons and tries to disrupt the negotiations thereby terminating the process or second, because of the finality of the remark to force the opponent to make a final decision. The possible counter-offensive could be one of the following: 1. 1. Accept the transaction

2. 2. Pretend you did not hear

3. 3. Request a five minute break to consult your colleagues

4. 4. Ask for time to obtain the necessary permission from your management

5. Accept a checkmate situation

The solution to this problem is not to give in to the pressure being applied or regardless accept the transaction, but rather choose a possible way of gaining time. A rather clever strategy here would be to reshuffle the transaction, for instance to alter the delivery date, terms of payment, quantities, packaging, etc. A basic example: Should you want to buy a used motorbike and be confronted with the "take it or leave it" strategy, you could for instance reply by saying that you will buy the article if the seller provides a roadworthy certificate, or demand a set of new tyres, or that the seller will service the motorcycle at his expense. A stalemate position is obviously not beneficial to either party and the fifth possibility is therefore not acceptable.

AVOIDING STALEMATE

It is quite clear that if a common desire for successful negotiation is not shared by both parties, a stalemate situation is virtually unavoidable.

Quite often when a stalemate situation does occur, a contributory cause could be a conflicting disposition between two negotiators or teams. Let us consider one more example: One party becomes personal and says: "I find it impossible to negotiate with a thick-headed idiot like yourself, and what's more, your calculations are wrong!" We will not consider the merits of the remark, but merely suffice by saying that a stalemate situation has developed. How do we solve this problem? By changing the negotiators. This technique is a powerful weapon. It is also used to enforce a bigger concession and not only in stalemate situations. They chief negotiator may be replaced for various reasons which may vary from the pretext of being ill to having been transferred. The new negotiator has the advantage of not having attended the previous meetings and may therefore ask the opponent a summary of the previous meetings. This will give him a clearer view of the opponent's way of thinking.

The new negotiator does not feel compelled by, or committed to any view of his predecessor. He may for instance state that he has a different approach to the matter. When a different negotiator is put into action he may be able to gain the sympathy of the opponent through subtle manipulation because he has a disadvantage and has to compete in an "unjust tussle". The other party will then merely be more lenient to promote a better relationship with the new negotiator and to avoid any further conflict. This technique of changing negotiators is used in international negotiations in particular, and can often remedy a critical situation.

### Chapter Four

Why is it that some people find it easy to solve tough problems with simple solutions while others find this feat nearly impossible? You've no doubt looked at solutions to problems and said, ―I should have thought of that.ǁ But you didn't. The answer is not just creativity, although that certainly helps. Rather, the power to find these creative solutions lies in our ability to search for and find facts that relate to the situation, and put them together in ways that work. As an individual, your facts and knowledge can only go so far. By tapping into the knowledge of others (staff, colleagues, family, or friends), you can expand the range of solutions available to you.

If you are tired of applying dead-end solutions to recurring problems in your company, this should help you reconstruct your efforts and learn new ways to approach problem solving, and develop practical ways to solve some of your most pressing problems and reach win-win decisions.

Learning Objectives

This will help you:

Increase your awareness of problem solving steps and problem solving tools.

Distinguish root causes from symptoms to identify the right solution for the right problem.

Improve your problem solving and decision making skills through identifying your own problem solving style.

Identify ways to think creatively and work towards creative solutions.

Recognise the top ten rules of good decision-making.

Personal Learning Objectives

Two: What is Problem Solving?

Defining Problem Solving and Decision Making

What, specifically, is a problem?

? A problem can be a mystery, a puzzle, an unsettled matter, a situation requiring a solution, or an issue involving uncertainty. Your work is full of them every day.

A problem is a gap between ideal and actual conditions. A decision is a choice between alternative solutions to a problem.

Problems can be classified in three ways: Problems that have already happened Problems that lie ahead Problems you want to prevent from happening

There are three ways to approach problems.

You can stall or delay until a decision is no longer necessary, or until it has become an even greater problem.

You can make a snap decision, off the top of your head, with little or no thinking or logic.

You can use a professional approach and solve problems based on sound decision-making practices.

The Ideal Problem Solver Think of an individual and describe the traits, characteristics, and behaviours that made the individual a good

problem solver. (Own answers)

Win-Win Decisions

In order to find sustainable solutions to our problems, we will: Encourage everyone to

participate.

Encourage new ideas without criticism, since new concepts come from outside our normal perception. Build on each other's ideas.

Whenever possible, use data to facilitate problem solving.

Remember that solving problems is a creative process— new ideas and new understanding often result.

In order to reach win-win decisions, we will: Make decisions based on data whenever possible. Seek to find the needed information or data.

Discuss criteria for making a decision (cost, time, impact, etc.) before choosing an option.

Encourage and explore different interpretations of data.

Types of Decisions We tend to make three kinds of decisions. The autocratic decision is one you make alone. You do not consult anyone, and you accept full responsibility for the consequences of your decision.

Your second choice is a consultative decision, when you talk over the problem with another person or persons, such as a more experienced superior or several of your colleagues. Two heads are frequently better than one when a serious decision must be made.

A third possibility is a group decision. When a problem involves the entire staff, they should participate in the decision. They will feel some ownership which will make them more committed and motivated.

Inevitably, supervisors will make some decisions that are less than perfect. Some good advice on handling such situations is offered by management writer Claude George:

Don't ignore it or cover it up. It won't go away. And it is probably not the first or last poor decision you will make. The main thing is for the large percentage of your decisions to be good ones. If so, then your overall average will be acceptable. Learn from your mistakes. Ask yourself where you went wrong. Get advice from those around you concerning what you should have considered that you didn't, what you should have done that you didn't, what errors of judgment you made, and so on.

After this analysis, decide what you should do now -the action you should take. Then tell your boss about your new plan of action. Explain to him why you have moved from the old decision, and why it is important for you to make the change. In talking with your boss, don't try to shift the blame. You are responsible for the decision and for the error. Take the consequences.

Finally, get your employees involved in phasing out the old decision and implementing the new one. What you want to do is go from plan A to plan B with a minimum of confusion and loss, and your employees can make valuable suggestions and contributions.

Facts vs. Information Decisions combine fact and theory. They are the choices we make in the light of how we interpret the events we observe.

We can consider ―factsǁ as basic ingredients and ―informationǁ as a substitute for facts.

Basic Ingredients:

Facts Knowledge Experience Analysis Judgment

The Substitutes:

Information Advice Experimentation

Intuition

When we make decisions, we want facts, facts that are indisputable, incontrovertible, and irrefutable. But facts can change. With progress, today's facts may be out of date tomorrow. In the absence of facts we must fall back on available information, often well-laced with opinion.

Ten Ingredients for Good Decision Making

1) Focus on the most important things. Of all the things you are judging, one factor is the most important and must be given greater weight than anything else. 2) Don't decide until you are ready. Don't act on impulse or succumb to decision panic. 3) Look for all the good things that can happen. Make your decision as if you were afraid of missing a wonderful opportunity. 4) Consider the decisions sitting on the back burner. The best decision you'll ever make is the one you've been putting off. 5) Base your decision on self-acceptance. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask: What about me needs to be true for this decision to work out? If you understand and accept who you really are, decisions will work out. 6) Look ahead. Try to see how your decision will play out over time. 7) Turn big decisions into a series of little decisions. Instead of doing something because you think it's the best thing to do, take small steps, get more information, and then make your decision. 8) Don't feel you are locked into only one or two alternatives. There are always more options if you look for them. 9) Get what you need to feel safe. For some people, that means knowing the worst that can happen. For others, it means knowing they can back out at the last minute. For still others, it means knowing that everyone they care about agrees with the decision, or fully understands the situation they are in. Identify your safety needs related to the decision at hand. 10) Do what you really want. People who make good choices ask themselves what they want and give a lot of weight to that.

Decision-Making Traps In the absence of proven fact, the persons making decisions must fall back on available information, which may be well-laced with opinion. This isn't bad, if the sources are informed opinions. However, as information is being gathered, we must be aware of decision-making traps.

Misdirection

When we go on fishing expeditions (trying to get information without revealing its purpose), we may very well get the right answer to the wrong question. If we ask the experts and they don't know, they may not admit it. Then we can become the victims of a snow job, or find that the blind are leading the blind.

Sampling

There is also danger of making a decision based on too small a sampling. You may ask three people about when they want the Christmas party, and get every one of them to agree on the same date. But it would be dangerous to go ahead with that date based on such a small sampling if it is not adequate and representative. Perhaps that is also the night of the Kiwanis Christmas party, of which several employees are members, or perhaps it is a Tuesday and many of the employees bowl on Tuesday.

Bias

According to researchers, we are all guilty of some bias. Every moment we have lived and every experience we have had has in some way contributed to our own biases and these will be reflected in our actions and our opinions.

Usually it is enough to know we each have a built in bias, and adjust our thinking accordingly. However, remember that persons with a clearly defined bias will be representative of others similarly inclined.

Averages

The ubiquitous ―averageǁ can be deceiving. The arithmetical average can be a long ways from the figure in the middle, or the median. Averages can bury extremes. A man can drown in a stream of water that averages two metres deep if he just happens to fall into the one spot in its entire length where it is 50 metres deep.

Selectivity

Selectivity is another danger signal. When we throw out unfavourable results, and embrace unacceptable ones, the results would be ambiguous to say the least. We have to demand ALL the facts, not those that have been swept under the rug. We mustn't correlate the frequent with the normal. If a particular study of the infant population indicates the average age at which a child sits up is six months, and your child has a particularly round bottom and doesn't sit up until eight months, that doesn't necessarily make him slow. We have been told that cannibalism is frequent among cannibals. However, whether it is ―normalǁ is best left to the anthropologists, whether it is ―rightǁ can be left to the theologians, and whether it is ―goodǁ will probably depend on whether you are the eater or the eatee.

Interpretation

We should never forget that facts and information are always open to interpretation. Remember the old adage that figures lie and liars figure. We must be wary that someone isn't using facts to distort the truth rather than to enlighten. When a person has information, he/she is obliged to present it as clearly as possible so other will not misunderstand. However, we can never entirely eliminate that danger.

Jumping to Conclusions

This is a trap you set for yourself, and nobody has to spring it for you.

The Meaningless Difference

―Sell the sizzle, not the steak,ǁ says there isn't a lot to choose between when you've got a good steak.

Connotation

It is natural to draw out all the meaning in a remark, but our emotional state may determine our connotation. Connotation, emotional content, or implications can all be added to an explicit literal meaning.

Status

Status can limit communication in ways we never intended. This is a barrier between supervisor and employee which limits communication in either direction for fear of disapproval on one hand or loss of prestige on the other.

Three: Problem Solving Styles

The Four Styles Your Learning Style was your pre-assignment for this . That is a problem solving tool for you. It helps you become a better problem solver when you know where your strengths and challenges lay.

The Accommodators

These are the ―Here's your hat. What's your hurry?ǁ type of learners. They want to zoom right through the theory and spend no time on reflection and no time on analysis. They want to do the task or the activity, right or wrong, rather than exploring or discussing the idea fully first. You haven't finished the introductions and the accommodators are halfway through the exercise.

The Divergers

These people can take any given topic in several directions, come up with options in the blink of an eye, and put so many spins on any idea it will be almost unrecognisable once it is put into practice. No matter what assignment is given to them, they will change it in some way to make it theirs. They enjoy discussion as a way of generating more new ideas and options.

The Assimilators

This is the thinker. They want content. All the information is taken in and assessed. They do so much thinking about a problem they think they are doing something about it. They want you to slow down so they have more time to digest the information and to ask questions to see if they fully understand the activity, process, etc.

The Convergers

These people are the sceptics. They may say, ―If this is such a brilliant idea, give me five steps for converting it into practice.ǁ These are the people who can be paralyzed by analysis. They want to know how a particular concept can be applied. They are Edward DeBono's black hat thinkers.

The Accommodator

The Assimilator The Diverger The Converger

Four: Earthquake!

Decision Information

Background Information

Monday, July 27, 7:12 p.m.

You and five other members of your organisation are finishing a presentation for an early Tuesday morning meeting in the basement library of your ten storey office building, where the company's private library is located. Suddenly, everyone is yelling.

―Oh, my gosh, what is

happening?ǁ ―I can't stand up!ǁ

―I think it's an earthquake! Watch out for those books, take cover, and get under the table!ǁ

The building shakes violently and then stops. There is a deathly silence except for the slow groan of the building settling. You begin to pick yourselves up and assess the damage. Here is some of the conversation that you hear: ―Is everyone OK?ǁ

―I think so, but my arm hurts.ǁ

―I've got a cut on my leg. One of those huge reference books hit me.ǁ

―Hey, does it look like the column in the corner came up over there?ǁ

―It sure does. I wonder how badly the rest of the building was damaged?ǁ

―How can you see anything in the dark?ǁ

―There is some light coming in from the crack in the wall over there near the water heater. I'll go over and take a closer look.ǁ

―Forget about the damage; let's get out of here before the rest of the building gives way!ǁ

―I think I smell gas. Does anyone else?ǁ

―Do you hear a hissing sound?ǁ

―I'm not sure if that is hissing or the building moving.ǁ

―Hey, everyone, we aren't going anywhere. The stairs to the basement are completely blocked. There must be a ton of concrete here.ǁ

―We have to get out of here. The whole building could cave in!ǁ

―Everyone needs to calm down. We need to start looking for another way out. What about the elevator?ǁ

―Nope, the shaft is jammed with rubble. I can feel a draft coming down, but I can't see through all the debris.ǁ

―Can we climb up on the water heater, and get out of the crack you found in the wall?ǁ

―The water heater seems to be OK.ǁ

―Forget that idea. Only a small animal could fit through here.ǁ

―I'll check the phone. Maybe we can call for help. The telephone lines are not always damaged in these things... Forget it, the lines are dead.ǁ

―You obviously haven't experienced a bad one yet. A lot more than telephone lines are usually damaged.ǁ

―How do you know it was a bad one?ǁ

―It lasted longer and shook us around a lot more than most of them do.ǁ

―Oh, so that makes you an authority on earthquakes?ǁ

―Would you two stop arguing and come over here with the rest of us! I found a radio by the janitor's work bench. The news report will be a far more reliable source of information than you two.ǁ

We interrupt this broadcast to bring you an Action One special report...

At 7:12 p.m. this evening, Gauteng and the surrounding areas were rocked by an earthquake that experts say may have measured as high as 7.5 on the Richter scale. It is believed to be one of the worst earthquakes to hit this area in decades. Initial estimates say that the quake lasted for approximately 40 seconds and that the danger from the earthquake may not be over – we may still experience some aftershocks. The city's telephone network is paralysed. Electrical wires are down and a number of fires are burning throughout Gauteng. Gas explosions and water main ruptures are occurring throughout the city. Many buildings in the downtown area appear to be severely damaged. City officials say they may be forced to shut down all utility services in order to prevent fire outbreaks. Many freeway overpasses have collapsed and most of the Gauteng surface streets are clogged with debris and abandoned cars. Air traffic does not appear to be coming in or out of the Johannesburg International Airport. Unofficially, the mayor was reported as saying that it could be 72 hours or more before city repair crews are able to restore communications and utilities. The mayor also requested that city residents stay off the streets, except for emergencies, until further notice and be prepared to be on their own for at least three days. Stay tuned for more updates...

Here are some of the comments

people make after the report:

―It really does sound bad.ǁ

―I wonder how long it will take someone to find us.ǁ

―Oh no! The aftershocks are starting already.ǁ

Within 10 minutes of the quake, a violent aftershock occurs and stirs up more dust and debris in the basement. People say things like:

―How are we ever going to survive this? Being stuck in this basement during these aftershocks isn't very comforting.ǁ

―At least they know there is damage to buildings in our area. Maybe they will look for us right away.ǁ

―I don't know. With all these aftershocks it may be a while before they are able to dig us out.ǁ

―You can never tell with these things. We might be here for a while or someone may find us right away, so we need to make the best of it. Anyone find something we can use to look around a bit?ǁ

―I found a flashlight. Let's do an inventory of what we have to work with.ǁ

After searching through rubble you find:

A working, battery-operated radio

Two candles

Cleaning supplies (mop, bucket, bleach, window cleaner, screwdriver, wrench, and work gloves)

A first aid kit with bandages,

antiseptic, gauze, and aspirin A package of matches A flashlight with extra batteries

Four leftover chicken salad sandwiches in the refrigerator and two bags of chips (from the lunch meeting earlier in the day)

Three full ice cube trays in the freezer Six cans of coke

Individual Action Steps There are seven action steps you should take to ensure your survival and rescue and five action steps that you should not take because they are either unnecessary or may harm you.

Decide which seven of the action steps listed you would take, assigning a ―1ǁ to what you would do first, a ―2ǁ to your second step, and so on, ensuring all items are numbered one through seven. Then, continue the ranking with the remaining five steps you would not take, numbering them 8 to12, 12 being reserved for the most dangerous or least helpful step, 11 for the next less dangerous step, and so on.

Individual Ranking Attempt to

remove the rubble from the entrance to the first floor.

Divide the sandwiches and ration them over the next few days. Light the candles so you can see and rescuers will be able to locate you. Locate and secure a water supply. Divide the sandwiches and eat them this evening. Discuss longterm survival strategies as a group. Pound on the pipes with the steel

wrench.

Assign someone to monitor the

radio and listen for updates.

Check for injuries and administer

first aid.

Shut off all utilities. Develop day and night signalling techniques and begin signalling immediately. Purify the water source.

### Chapter Five

Model Overview

As you work your way from problem to solution, you are actually shifting your focus.

When you define a problem, you ask yourself: What is my problem?

As you try to analyse the root causes you ask: Why is it a problem?

When you are generating options, you ask yourself: What are some ways I can solve my problem?

This isn't something that is nice in theory, but of no use when it comes to application. Rather, it is the very basis for informed and consistent problem-solving. You want tools? This is your basic tool.

Here is another way of breaking down the three phases: We should spend most of our time on the first block: perception, definition, and analysis. Do we do that? Oh no, because that isn't much fun. We want to get to the good part — the solution. Accommodators and Divergers, in particular, want to push forward. However, we should continually check back with the first stage to make sure the problem is the same. Don't forget: once you have moved on from a phase, you can always return to it. Part of the problem solving process is re¬evaluating and evolving. This will ensure you reach the best solution possible.

Problem Solving as a Unifier

Think about how all these items can be unifiers.

Solving Problems the "Right" Way

Beware of anybody who tries to convince you there is one ―rightǁ or ―bestǁ way to solve problems. Human problem-solving is educated trial and error. There is no system that works every time. Many solutions are possible, and some are better than others. Your skill as a problem-solver depends on your repertoire of tools and your knowledge of how to use them. With just a hammer and nails a carpenter can build quite a few things. However, if he gets more tools, he can build more things. The more tools he acquires, the better he can deal with different woodworking situations. A good carpenter is inventive and flexible. So if problem solving is trial and error, how can there be formal steps? You know you don't always solve problems step by step. Sometimes you have a solution before you know what problem it solves. You decide to move your bed against another wall and you find out the next morning that the sun doesn't wake you up so early. However, for many situations, having formal steps to follow can help you create flexible, workable solutions.

Farmer's Feedback Use the following information to solve the problem, using the matrix.

Information

The dogs' owner lives next door to the house with a plum orchard. Hull raises Albino rats. The farmer who lives in the bungalow raises pigeons. Only one of the village houses is located on the east side. The farmer who lives next to Pavlov drives a station wagon. Pavlov's neighbour raises chimpanzees. The farmer who raises dogs also grows cherries.

Skinner lives next to the red brick house.

One of your group's tasks is to decide who drives a truck.

The houses of the village are standing in a semicircle, beside each other.

Kohler grows pears. There is a limousine in the garage of the ranch house. Each farmer raises a different kind of animal. Farmer Thorndike lives next to farmer Skinner. A motorcycle stands in the back yard of the log cabin.

The person who raises cats lives next door, to the east, of the house with the almond trees.

Every week boxes of dog food are placed at the gate of the log cabin.

Only one of the village houses is located on the west side.

Each of the five farmers living in the village drives a different kind of vehicle.

The log cabin is in the most northern position in the village.

Each farmer grows a different kind of fruit.

The ranch house stands next to the cottage.

Farmer Thorndike drives a

sports car. Farmer Skinner

raises pigeons. Only farmer Skinner lives at the

west end of the village. There are albino rats in the yard of the ranch house. One of your group's tasks is to

decide who grows apples. Pavlov lives in the log cabin. Each farmer lives in a different

type of house.

Matrix Skinner Thorndike Pa Animals Fruit Location House Vehicle

Phase One

Let's take a look at the first phase of the three-phase model.

Here is a breakdown of each step in the problem identification process. In all three steps, your focus is on the problem itself. Only afterward will you start thinking about solutions.

Perception

You ask yourself: Is there a problem? Where is the problem? Whose problem is it? This is the sniffing, groping, grasping stage. It includes whatever you do to get a handle on the problem.

What are the symptoms? Funny noises in the engine, an unhappy look on your employee's face, or a change in the productivity rate? You've got to find out what the problem is.

Problem perception is closely related to problem definition and problem analysis.

The purpose of this phase is: To surface an issue. To make it OK to discuss it

(legitimise).

To air different points of view.

To avoid perception wars.

To get group agreement to work on the problem.

Steps in this phase include: Legitimise the problem; make it OK to discuss it.

Asking, ―How does the problem feel?ǁ and, ―What's the real problem?ǁ

Identifying the best/worst/most probable situation. Identifying whose problem it is.

Definition

Here, we state the problem as a question. Our goal is grasp the general idea of the problem and then draw the rope tighter to get a more specific idea of the problem.

Steps in this phase include:

Identify the Problem As Given and the Problem As Understood (PAG/PAU)

What is the problem? What is not the problem?

Draw a diagram if appropriate.

Analysis

Now that we have a general idea of the problem, we will use analytical tools to define it even further. Steps in this phase include:

Ask basic questions, such as who, what, where, when, why, and how.

Break it down into smaller pieces. For example, if we know that the problem is that revenue is down, we can break it down into possible areas of cause: manufacturing, shipping, or sales.

Use force field analysis. This is a structured method of looking at two opposing forces acting on a situation. Simply draw a line on a piece of paper. On one half of the line, list the forces that are working to solve the problem. On the other half, list the forces that are stopping you from solving the problem. Let's say that revenue is down this quarter. Our force field might look like this: Move from generalisations to exemplifications as a way of testing what the problem is or is not. For example, you could say, ―Our company has really been doing poorly all year.ǁ We could further identify how the company has been doing poorly; let's say that the production department in particular has been less productive, costing the company money. Then, we can look at what aspect in particular is doing poorly.

Ask the expert. Find a person

who has dealt with this sort of issue before.

Phase Two Until the three steps of problem identification have been covered, don't proceed to phase two. (If people don't agree on the problem, they will never agree on a solution!)

Alternative Generation Methods

Here are some tools you can use to come up with alternate ideas.

Brainstorming

Draw a circle in the middle of a page and write down your problem. Then, draw lines from that circle and write down some solutions. Don't worry if they're wacky, impossible, or silly; this is a time for creative thinking, not critical thinking.

Checkerboard

This is a more organised form of brainstorming. Organise your thoughts into a table. We still want creative thinking rather than critical thinking, but this method may help you develop ideas.

Here is an example of a checkerboard.

Main Solution Possible Specific Solutions

Cut up solutions and move them around. This can help you organise your ideas and generate even more solutions! This is especially useful if you have used a checkerboard and super easy if you have created it using a word processing program.

Look at what others have done: Do some research and prepare a report.

Evaluation

Now that we have some solutions in mind, it's time to evaluate the solutions to see which ones are feasible.

Sort solutions by category. This can be similar to the checkerboard above, just with some critical thinking applied.

Identify the advantages and disadvantages to each solution. Identify what you like about each idea and what you don't like.

Number your ideas in order, from the one that seems the most feasible to the one that seems the least feasible. This is useful for small problems.

Criteria checkerboard: This is similar to the checkerboard we used above, except our criteria are listed across the top and the options are listed down the side. You can then rank each option based on various criteria. This is a great option for thorough evaluation.

We can now easily see which solutions are possible, which are out of the question, and which ones need more investigation.

Decision Making

Once you have evaluated the options, it's time to make a decision. Here are some ways you can do it:

Get a consensus from the group on the best solution. Don't limit yourself to one option; you may find that you can

combine solutions for super success. (This is called the both/and method.)

To make voting easier, you may want to eliminate the solutions that the group as a whole absolutely won't consider.

Try to focus on agreements during all voting.

Use straw voting: Take a quick, non-binding yes/no vote on the current solution as proposed.

Negative voting: Rather than asking who is for a solution, ask who is against the proposed solution.

Back off! The group may need some time to evaluate the options before making a decision.

Phase Three Our last phase should be planning how to implement the solution and performing the actual implementation.

Planning

For the planning portion, start by breaking the task down into smaller portions. Then, for each mini-task, plan the following information:

What needs to be done?

Who will do it?

What resources will we need?

How much time will it take? (Set a deadline)

Once all the smaller tasks are planned out, you will have an idea of how long the main solution will take to implement. You may also want to make sure that the above questions are answered for the main task.

Implementation

Implementation is a cycle of three activities:

Figuring out what you are going to do

Doing it

Reacting to what happened or getting feedback

Sooner or later, you have to try out your solution!

Here is an example of a solution planning worksheet.

Case Study: The Heavy-Handed Approach

Case Study

―I've had it with this job and your big mouth,ǁ said Mike, storming out of the building. He had just been reprimanded in public for the last time by Tshepo, the production manager, who had a terrible habit of viciously attacking people on the production floor. He had done this to Mike one time too many.

Mike was a promising employee. In fact, he was spotted by the big brass as true management material. He was a top equipment operator, but when it came to dealing with Tshepo, he became flustered.

Tshepo was around from the start of the company. He always used a heavy-handed approach to get his way around the department. He used his volume to intimidate and embarrass his employees. After eight months of this, Mike had reached his breaking point.

As Mike walked out, Tshepo smirked to himself, ―Some management material. Ha!ǁ

Questions What is the problem?

What is its root cause or the real problem?

What is the Problem As Given (PAG)?

What is the Problem As Understood (PAU)?

How does it feel to Mike? How does it feel to Tshepo?

What are the best/worst/most probable consequences of solving/not solving the issue?

Six: Six Ways to Approach a Decision

DeBono's Hats Edward DeBono wrote a book that has become legendary in management training. It is known as the six thinking hats. The purpose of the six thinking hats is to unscramble thinking so that a thinker is able to use one thinking mode at a time instead of trying to do everything at once. The best analogy is that of colour printing, where each colour is printed separately, and in the end they all come together.

The six thinking hats method is designed to switch thinking away from the normal argument style to a map-making style. This makes thinking a two-stage process. The first stage is to make the map. The second stage is to choose a route on the map. If the map is good enough, the best route will often become obvious. Each of the six hats puts one type of thinking on the map.

White Hat: Virgin white; pure facts, figures, and information.

Red Hat: Seeing red, emotions and feelings, also hunch and intuition.

Black Hat: Devil's advocate, negative judgment, asks why it will not work.

Yellow Hat: Sunshine, brightness, and optimism; positive, constructive, opportunity.

Green Hat: Fertile, creative, plants springing from seeds, movement, provocation.

Blue Hat: Cool and in control, orchestra conductor, thinking about thinking.

The jargon of the six thinking hats serves a very useful purpose; it is the very artificiality of the hats which is their greatest value. They provide a formality and a convenience for requesting a certain type of thinking either of oneself or of others. They establish rules for the game of thinking. Anyone playing the game will be aware of these rules.

The more the hats are used, the more they will become part of the thinking culture. Everyone in an organisation should learn the basic format so that it can become part of the culture. This makes focused thinking much more powerful.

Instead of wasting time in argument or drifting discussion, there will be a brisk and disciplined approach.

At first, people might feel a little awkward about using the different hats, but this awkwardness soon passes as the convenience of the system becomes apparent. The first use of the hats will be in the form of an occasional request to use one hat or to switch from the black hat to a different colour.

Value of the Six Thinking Hats

The great value of the hats is that they provide thinking roles. A thinker can take pride in playacting each of these roles. Without the formality of the hats, some thinkers would remain permanently stuck in one mode (usually the black hat mode).

Within any organisation, the more people who learn the format, the more usable it becomes. The truth is that we do not have a simple language as a control system for our thinking. If we feel that we are intelligent enough to do without such a system, then we should consider that such a system would make that intelligence even more effective. A person with a natural talent in any physical or mental area will benefit even more than others from discipline.

White Hat Thinking

Imagine a computer that gives the facts and figures for which it is asked. The computer is neutral and objective. It does not offer interpretations or opinions. When wearing the white thinking hat, the thinker imitates a computer.

The person requesting the information should use focusing questions in order to obtain information or information gaps.

In practice there is a two-tiered system of information. The first tier contains checked and proven facts: first-class facts. The second tier contains facts that are believed to be true, but have not yet been fully checked: second-class facts.

There is a spectrum of likelihood ranging from always true to never true. In between, there are usable levels such as by and large, sometimes, and occasional. Information of this sort can be put out under the white hat, provided the appropriate frame is used to indicate the likelihood.

White hat thinking provides discipline and direction. The thinker strives to be more neutral and more objective in the presentation of information.

You can be asked to put on the white thinking hat or you can ask someone to put it on. You can also choose to put it on, or to take it off.

The white (absence of colour) also indicates neutrality.

Red Hat Thinking

Wearing the red hat allows the thinker to say: ―This is how I feel about the matter.ǁ

The red hat legitimises emotions and feelings as an important part of thinking. The red hat makes feelings visible so that they can become part of the thinking map and also part of the value system that chooses the route on the map.

The red hat provides a convenient method for a thinker to switch in and out of the feeling mode in a way that is not possible without such a device. The red hat allows a thinker to explore the feelings of others by asking for a red hat view. When a thinker is using the red hat there should never be any attempt to justify the feelings or to provide a logical basis for them.

The red hat covers two broad types of feeling. First, there are the ordinary emotions as we know them, ranging from the strong emotions such as fear and dislike to the more subtle ones such as suspicion. Secondly, there are the complex judgments that go into such types of feeling, such as hunch, intuition, sense, taste, aesthetic feeling, and other not visibly justified types of feelings. Where an opinion has a large measure of this type of feeling, it can also fit under the red hat.

Black Hat Thinking

Black hat thinking is specifically concerned with negative assessment. The black hat thinker points out what is wrong, incorrect, and in error. The black hat thinker points out how something does not fit experience or accepted knowledge. The black hat thinker points out why something will not work. The black hat thinker points out risks and dangers. The black hat thinker points out faults in a design.

Black hat thinking is not argument and should never be seen as such. It is an objective attempt to put the negative elements onto the map. Black hat thinking may point out the errors in the thinking procedure and method itself. Black hat thinking may judge an idea against the past to see how well it fits what is known. It may also project an idea into the future to see what might fail or go wrong.

Black hat thinking can ask negative questions but it should not be used to cover negative indulgence or negative feelings. This is a red hat function.

Yellow Hat Thinking

Yellow hat thinking is positive and constructive. The yellow colour symbolizes sunshine, brightness, and optimism. Yellow hat thinking is concerned with positive assessment, just as black hat thinking is concerned with negative assessment.

Yellow hat thinking covers a positive spectrum ranging from the logical and practical at one end to dreams, visions, and hopes at the other end.

Yellow hat thinking probes and explores for value and benefit. Yellow hat thinking strives to find logical support for this value and benefit. Yellow hat thinking seeks to put forward soundly based optimism, but is not restricted to this, provided other types of optimism are appropriately labelled.

Yellow hat thinking is constructive and generative. It is from yellow hat thinking that come concrete proposals and suggestions. Yellow hat thinking is concerned with making things happen. Effectiveness is the aim of yellow hat, constructive thinking.

Yellow hat thinking can be speculative and opportunity-seeking. Yellow hat thinking also permits visions and dreams.

Green Hat Thinking

The person who puts on the green hat is going to use the mechanisms of creative thinking. Everyone involved is required to treat the output as a creative output. Ideally both the thinker and listener should be wearing green hats.

The green colour symbolizes fertility, growth, and the nurturing of seeds.

The search for alternatives is a fundamental aspect of green hat thinking. There is a need to go beyond the known, the obvious, and the satisfactory. The green hat thinker pauses at any point to consider whether there might be alternative ideas at that point. There need be no reason for this pause.

In green hat thinking, the format of movement replaces that of judgment. The thinker seeks to move forward from one idea in order to reach a new idea.

Provocation is an important part of green hat thinking. A provocation is used to take us out of our usual patterns of thinking. There are many ways of setting up provocations, including the random word method.

Blue Hat Thinking

The blue hat is the control hat. The blue hat thinker organises the thinking itself. Blue hat thinking is thinking about the thinking needed to explore the subject. The blue hat thinker is like the conductor of the orchestra. The blue hat thinker calls for the use of the other hats.

The blue hat thinker defines the subjects toward which the thinking is to be directed. The blue hat thinker sets the focus, defines the problems, and shapes the questions. Blue hat thinking determines the thinking tasks that are to be carried through and is responsible for summaries, overviews, and conclusions. These can take place from time to time in the book of the thinking, and also at the end.

The blue hat monitors the thinking, enforces discipline, and ensures that the rules of the game are observed. Blue hat thinking stops argument and insists on map type of thinking.

Blue hat thinking may be used for occasional interjections which request one or another hat. Blue hat thinking may also be used to set up a step-by-step sequence of thinking operations which are to be followed, just as a dance follows the choreography.

Even when the specific blue hat thinking role is assigned to one person, it is still open to anyone to offer blue hat comments and

suggestions.

Seven: The Problem-Solving Toolkit

The Basic Tools There are some techniques we can use to help us at every stage of the problem-solving process.

The Lasso

Can we tighten up our definition of the real problem?

―How can we improve communication in our group?ǁ Let's tighten up that word communication.

What do we mean by it?

―How can we get our work

done more efficiently?ǁ What do we mean by efficiently?

Is/Is Not

The Is/Is Not technique lets us eliminate assumptions and emphasize facts. For example, someone says, ―The telephone system isn't working.ǁ You might ask them to list what isn't working and list what is working. Perhaps all functions are affected, or perhaps only incoming calls have been affected.

Graphics

A diagram allows us to see things visually. For example, think of your four learning styles. These can be depicted visually as well as verbally. For some, the graph was more beneficial than the score or the label. For some, one type of categorizing is better than another type of categorizing.

Basic Questions

Who, what, where, when, why, how?

Criteria

In many situations it can be very helpful to have already determined what the criteria will be for your best solution. For example, you and your spouse are going out to celebrate your anniversary. Where are you going to go? Well, rather than the old harangue about: ―Where do you want to go?ǁ ―I don't care. It's up to you,ǁ how about developing criteria ahead of time.

Some examples:

The place must have a license, since you want a glass of wine with your meal.

It shouldn't cost an arm and a leg, yet you don't want the fast food joint just down the road, so a cost from R20 to R30 per person is another criterion.

You want a place where you can have chicken and your spouse wants seafood.

Finally, it shouldn't be more than 50 km away, since you both have to work tomorrow.

It should take reservations. You don't want to go to all that trouble and then find the place has no table for you.

Now you can brainstorm, but the brainstorming will be modified or restrained, since you've already identified the criteria the restaurant must meet.

Analysis

O s a r C e y t a C g s c a

f t are the advantages and disadvantages.)

Determine the cost associated with each factor. For direct costs you should be able to obtain some fairly precise figures. For indirect factors, you may have to estimate.

Add the total cost of your proposed solution.

Determine the benefits (in dollars) of the proposed solution. Some can be figured precisely. For others you will need to give a reasonable estimate of dollars.

Put the total costs and benefits figure into a ratio.

Compare the benefit/cost ratio for the proposed solution to the present situation.

Is there a value added feature that can/should be considered?

Break it Up

Breaking a problem down into mini-problems or sub-problems lets you eat the elephant one bite at a time. For example, let's say you are having problems with your garden. If we break this problem down into separate problems, you can deal with slugs, acid soil, and no rain.

Then we can deal with each issue separately.

Force Field Analysis

Force field analysis will examine

discussed this a bit yesterday. Take an example like John arriving late for work.

What are the restraining forces? Boss is angry He's behind with his work Parking spots all gone

What are the sustaining forces? Gets to sleep an extra 15 minutes Takes the kids to the babysitter

Misses traffic on way to work

How can we weaken the sustaining forces and strengthen or shore up some of the restraining forces?

Generalise/Exemplify

This allows us to move from the general to the specific (or vice versa) to make certain we are seeing the situation from all sides.

Expert

Avoid rumours and don't reinvent the wheel. Ask, ―Who can we invite in to talk about this?ǁ or ―Who has dealt with this before?ǁ

Legitimising Problems

Problems are OK. Everyone has problems. They are a fact of life. Human beings couldn't live without change in their environment, without stimulation, and problems provide that change and stimulation. So it's all right to have a problem as long as you are willing to do something about it.

In our society we often think that having a problem is like admitting failure. So some of us refuse to admit we have problems, or ignore them or hide them.

Everyone sees things differently, especially problems. Did you ever stop children from fighting and ask what the problem was? You would usually get a discordant chorus of responses as to why they were fighting, and each would see the fight from their own perspective. This expression of our personal view, no matter how discordant it may be, needs to be legitimised. To do this, we can use the communication funnel.

If you are working with two employees who are in conflict, for example, each one must have their perception of the problem legitimised. You aren't telling one they are right and the other they are wrong. Rather, you are demonstrating that you accept and support each view as legitimate, and protect it from attack until it has been explored. Showing people that their view has been heard and accepted will reduce the tension, and let them relax, at least a bit. Only then can you go on to find common ground.

This is another tool in our tool kit: knowing how to legitimise others' positions.

The Fishbone This problem solving tool visually organises information.

Eight: Thinking Outside the Box Creative Thinking Methods

Brainstorming

Brainstorming is the first thing that comes to most people's minds when we talk about creative thinking. In a brainstorming , people need not fear looking foolish since wild ideas are explicitly encouraged.

There is no one right way to run a brainstorming . Rather, you should tailor it to your needs and resources. In doing so, you may find it useful to consider the following guidelines.

Before Brainstorming

Define your purpose. Think of what you would like to walk out of the meeting with.

Choose the participants. The group should normally be large enough to provide a stimulating interchange, yet small enough to encourage both individual participation and inventing. This usually means between five and eight people.

Change the environment. Select a time and place that distinguishes the as much as possible from regular discussions. The more different a brainstorming seems from a normal meeting, the easier it is for participants to suspend judgment.

Design an informal atmosphere. What does it take for you and others to relax? It may be talking over a drink, meeting at a vacation lodge, or simply taking off your tie and jacket during the meeting.

Choose a facilitator. Someone at the meeting needs to facilitate, to keep the meeting on track, to make sure everyone gets a chance to speak, to enforce any ground rules, and to stimulate discussion by asking questions.

During Brainstorming

Seat the participants facing the problem side-by-side. Physically sitting side-by-side can reinforce the mental attitude of tackling a common problem together. People sitting side by side in a semicircle of chairs facing a flip chart, for example, tend to respond to the problem depicted on the chart.

Clarify the ground rules, including the no-criticism rule. If the participants do not all know each other, the meeting begins with introductions all around, followed by clarification of the ground rules. Outlaw negative criticism of any kind.

Once the purpose of the meeting is clear, let your imaginations go.

Try to come up with a long list of ideas, approaching the question from every conceivable angle.

Record the ideas in full view. Recording ideas on large sheets of paper gives the group a tangible sense of collective achievement, it reinforces the no-criticism rule, it reduces the tendency to repeat, and it helps stimulate other ideas.

After Brainstorming

After brainstorming, relax the no-criticism rule in order to bring the most promising ideas to the surface. You are still not at the stage of deciding; you are merely nominating ideas worth developing further. Circle those ideas that members of the group think are best.

Take one promising idea and invent ways to make it better and more realistic, as well as ways to carry it out. The task at this stage is to make the idea as attractive as you can. Preface constructive criticism with: ―What I like best about that idea is...ǁ or, ―Might it be better if...?ǁ

Before you break up, draw up a selective and improved list of ideas from the and set up a time for deciding which of these ideas to advance in your negotiation and how.

Random Word Method

Another interesting technique is the random word method. First, open a dictionary. Then, close your eyes, choose a page, and point to a word. You must use the first word you choose. Then, write the word on a flip chart and try to figure out how that word applies to your problem. Perhaps you're working on a decline in sales and your word is ―tiger.ǁ You could say that we need a tougher approach, or a brighter idea.

Don't ReInvent the Wheel

When you've solved a problem successfully, or if you hear about a creative solution, write the solution down in a log. Then, when you're having trouble problem solving, refer back to the log to get your creative juices started. You may even be able to take certain elements of different solutions and bring them together to create a solution for your particular problem.

Nine: Decision Making Case Study

About Decision Making

Your team will be playing the role of a manager who has been challenged to turn an unprofitable operation into a profitable one. Each decision requires thoughtful analysis of the information available so that you can evolve and/or evaluate alternatives. Your objective is to make the best decisions, and your pay-off, naturally, will be in profit dollars. We will make five decisions one at a time and debrief after each decision. We have included the answers as a separate hand-out if you want to provide them to students.

In your workday you deal with two kinds of decisions: the routine and the strategic. In the first, the conditions of the situation which the solution has to satisfy are known, and the job is simply to choose between a few obvious alternatives. The routine decision is often governed by which alternative will accomplish the goal with the minimum effort and disturbance. Not so for the strategic. Strategic decisions are more complex. They involve either finding out what the situation is or changing it. The ramifications of strategic decisions are broader – they can affect productivity, organisation, capital expenditures, and so forth.

Remember to use the tools we talked about this morning and the three-phase model we learned about yesterday.

Background

Congratulations! You have just been promoted to Operations Director and assigned to the Bigtown office of the Prime Data Corp. Previous to this move you held a similar position in a smaller office. You're now ready to move into this more challenging job with higher pay and increased responsibility. "Challenging" is hardly the word to describe the Bigtown office. You've been warned that it's a can of worms; the lowest performing operation of its kind in the country. You've been given a mandate to make this unit profitable.

Prime Data Corp. is a service organisation. Its main service is providing information on companies and organisations of every size and type. Each regional office serves as a centre for collecting and processing data. Information is collected from field reporters, credit agencies, the companies and their customers, and various research sources. All of this data is then organised and processed and eventually packaged in its own file. Your office is therefore involved in producing research files as efficiently as possible. Each office (yours included) operates as a profit centre with the Operations Director making all decisions independently.

You have inherited a staff of ten people. Morale is low, that's obvious. Supervision has been neglected in the past. The office itself is inadequate and overcrowded. Staff and equipment are not being used efficiently. As a result of these problems, production is at a low of 40 files per day (should be 60 per day for this size staff), growth is stagnant, and the office is operating at a loss.

Your objective is to build annual profits to R500000 within a year's time. You can only accomplish this by increasing file production from 40 units per day to 75 per day, while keeping expenditures at minimum. As a secondary, longterm objective, you should give adequate consideration to growth, making sure that none of your decisions provides immediate gains at the expense of future profits.

Company Information

This is general information designed to give you a better grasp of your operation. You won't use all the information, but you may need to refer to some segments of it during the game.

The Home Office activates the process by requesting data compilation on a specific account. When the request is received, the Coordinator sets up a file, directs the appropriate field office to visit the account and collect local information. (Field Offices are not under your control.) While the Field Office is completing its assignment, the new file is forwarded to the Researcher where a search for pertinent data is made in the library and existing records. Relative information is combined with the input from the field office; the data is organised, and a variety of calculations, ratings, and adjustments are made. The file is then passed on to the Reporter, where a formal report is dictated, summarising all findings. (The Reporter has two secretaries who transcribe reports.) The final report and file then go to the Quality Controller for review. The QC verifies accuracy and completeness, and then forwards everything to the Reproduction Aid. The RA copies every item in the file (copy goes to home office, original remains here). Before the original is filed it goes to Data Entry Clerks who transfer data to the computer, which computer stores the information for demand availability. The Expediter follows files from station to station, controls movement, and fills in when employees are absent.

Here is the list of employees you have inherited, shown by title and annual salary.

Your salary is R400000. Prime Data has established four different salary grades which are reflected in the figures given above.

Employees cannot move from one

pay level to another unless they are

promoted or a job is broadened to include more than one function.

Decision 1: Office Relocation You currently occupy 4,000 square metres of office space which is barely adequate for your staff, files, and operating equipment. There's no doubt that the cramped quarters contribute to the low level of production. With your present lease about to expire (in 60 days), you commissioned a local real estate broker to find the four best locations available, according to guidelines you provided.

You would like to meet your needs for at least three years, preferably five. The normal rate of business growth is about 20% a year with a commensurate increase in personnel and space; your office should eventually conform to this pattern. As a rule of thumb, total space usually allocated is 500 square metres per employee. Your current lease will revert to a month-to-month basis at the end of the 60 days. Right now, you pay R60000 a year; when your lease expires, your monthly rent will be R7000. A recent poll of your employees indicated that all of them would stay with your company if the move didn't increase the commute from your present location more than 15 minutes each way.

Below are the four locations recommended by the real estate broker.

Location A

This location offers 9,000 square metres of operating space at an annual rental of R100000. The owner requires a five year lease. He will provide required painting and renovation work at no cost. You like this space because it's adjacent to your present location, so the staff would not be inconvenienced. The cost of your move to Location A would be R15000. This space is available in 30 days, at which time you'll be committed to paying rent (assuming you decide on this spot).

Location B

This site is on the opposite side of town from your existing office, about eight kilometres away, and will take ten extra minutes each way during rush hour traffic. The space consists of 12,000 square metres. A three year lease is required at R100 000, with an option for two additional years at R105 000 a year. Location B will be available in 90 days for you to move in. Refurbishing costs run about R20 000. The move itself will require an estimated R20 000. Since your present lease will expire before Location B is available, the owner has offered to pay the extra month's rent at your current location.

Location C

Location C is 6,000 square metres and costs R80 000 per year. It will be available in 60 days. You can sign any length lease you want, up to ten years. The move here will cost R15000, but the landlord has offered to absorb the cost of the move if you sign a five year lease. You'll have to pay for your own refurbishing, however; a cost of R12000. This location is a five minute drive from your present facility.

Location D

This location is a good buy, and close to the airport which is a plus for you. The space available is 12,000 square metres. You estimate your refurbishing costs at R30 000. Location D is in reasonable proximity to your present site (about five minutes away). The cost of the space is R95 000 a year. The owner can only give you a three year lease since the entire area will be torn down and redeveloped by the city at that time. The cost of the move is R15 000.

The cost of moving and/or repairs in all cases will be charged against your first year's lease.

Based on the above information, decide which of the office sites is the best move.

Decision 2: Reproduction

Backlog One of the problems you have observed is a consistent back up, or bottleneck, created by the reproduction station. Your Reproduction Aid can handle approximately 500 copies per day, since each one requires about one minute for processing. (It takes about 30 seconds to remove each document from its file, position in copier, return to file, and about 30 seconds for machine to process the copy.) Each file contains an average of 15 documents (ten of 8 1/2 x 11 and five of 5 x 8). At the current rate of 40 files per day there is a substantial accumulation of copy work throughout the week; when the operator is out sick, or the equipment is down, the problem becomes more acute. The cost per copy on your present copier is 60 cents per page. It's completely paid for and in good working condition.

You've considered two broad books of action. One would be to add another Reproduction Aid at the same pay level as the first. This would expedite the operation, increasing production 50%, to about 750 copies per day. The other book is to replace the present equipment with a more sophisticated copier which, hopefully, would enable you to keep reproduction in concert with the rest of the operation. To pursue this further, you invited three copy machine manufacturers to demonstrate their hardware. Your notes follow.

Transfax

Each copy takes 10 seconds of machine time; handling time is cut in half, to 15 seconds. Cost per copy comes to 40 cents. The Transfax is sold at a price of R15000 with a year's free service guarantee. After the first year, a service contract of R2500 per year is required.

Reprodata

Makes copy in 5 seconds and cuts handling time to 10 seconds. Machine is leased rather than sold outright. Three year lease would be R30000. Cost per copy determined by monthly volume: first 10,000 copies at R1.00, next 10,000 at 50 cents, any additional copies above 20,000 made during month would cost 30 cents each. A service contract is R5000 a year and would be needed immediately.

Flocopy

This unit works on a different principle than the two previous copiers. It cuts each copy to size rather than producing everything on 8 1/2 x 11. This paper is stored on an 8 1/2 inch roll and each copy is cut automatically to the exact length of the original. The cost per copy is therefore based on a per inch basis. Copies that are 8 1/2 inches wide would be costed at 50cent per inch. For example, an original 8 1/2 x 11 costs R5.5 to reproduce. Flocopy takes 8 seconds for machine processing and 8 seconds for handling each copy. It sells for R36000. Service is free as long as manufacturer's paper and supplies are used.

NOTE: It is the company policy to pay off all office equipment over the first three years of its life.

On the basis of the above information, what would be your decision?

Decision 3: Improving Supervision One of your pressing problems is

inadequate supervision of staff. You'd like to supervise the day-to-day operation yourself, but you don't have enough time to do it effectively. Your predecessor tried to operate that way and it obviously didn't work. What your operation really needs is good quality, full-time supervision. This need will become more acute, of book, as your staff expands.

There are a number of approaches you can take. One would be to promote Bill Buttons to Supervisor; he has been functioning as your Expediter. Bill is very familiar with all your personnel and has a good working knowledge of each job in the shop. Bill has been with this operation for eight years now and is well liked by everyone. He's sincere, reliable, and would certainly like to get the raise that goes with the job. (A promotion of this kind would require a R30 000 p/a raise and a move to Grade 4.) Your evaluation of Bill, after interviewing him at the time of your take-over, was summarised as follows: "Bill seems very friendly and cooperative and quite happy with his job. He feels his greatest strengths are his knowledge of the business and ability to get along with people. He's 49, married with one child. Doesn't have definite career goals; prefers to remain flexible."

Another option would be to have your home office personnel department provide a suitable candidate. Since they are constantly evaluating all promotable people, they have a reservoir of supervisors on hand. At your request, they recently screened out Pat Hedden who is functioning as an Assistant Supervisor at a large and successful operation 2,000 kilometres away.

Pat is 40, a good family man, and comes well recommended. You met him a few weeks ago at a meeting and were impressed by his credentials, personality, and ambition. However, if you opt for Pat as your supervisor you'll have to wait sixty days. (He'll need that much time to wrap up business and personal matters and relocate.) You'll also have to assume half of his R20000 relocation expense. Since he's already at the supervisory level (Grade 4) he'll require a raise from R230 000 to R250 000 for the new assignment.

The third alternative available would be for you to hire locally. There's a chance that you might find a competitive supervisor available who you could hire away. You're not sure about this, however, because you don't have too many competitors and none of them operates exactly the way you do. Chances are you'd have to hire a manager or supervisor in a related field; there are probably some good ones in the area. The new manager would require training to become familiar with the nuances of your business. You estimate that the recruiting, hiring, and training would take 50% of your time for the next three months. Assuming you can find the right person, the starting salary is R230 000.

Based on the above information, what is your decision?

Decision 4: Job Enrichment The morale problem that plagued you when you first took over has improved, but it's far from being solved. Part of it, no doubt, stems from the specialised and often monotonous nature of the jobs. You would like to cross-train certain staffers so that instead of handling a piece of a process, they can get more involved in different activities; this will provide greater responsibility and sense of achievement. You feel that job enrichment will also provide substantial production gains. You have now reached a level of 50 files per day (1,000 per month) and estimate that a successfully implemented job enrichment program will enable you to reach 60 a day at a gross profit of R15 each. As a result, you are planning to combine four jobs (Coordinator, Researcher, Adjuster, and Reporter) into one new position called Programmer. The four programmers would do their own coordinating, researching, adjusting, and reporting; they would also share the two secretaries, who will transcribe their reports on an equal-time basis.

In implementing this new program, one of your major problems will be training. A number of alternatives are available. One would be to have your new supervisor, Pat Hedden, do it. Pat did a study and came up with the following projections. It will take him three months of on-the-job training to accomplish the transition; production can be expected to drop by 10% during this period. After the training phase, he estimates that it will take three months of adjustment, during which time production will function at current levels (50 per day). After six months, a permanent increase of 60 files per day should be achieved.

On the other hand, you can have the home office staff do the training for you. They could accomplish the training faster since they are running intensive one-day schools continuously. For example, on Monday of each week they conduct a Coordinator's school, on Tuesday they cover the Researcher's job, Wednesday is devoted to Adjusters, and on Thursday they concentrate on the Reporter's function. You could only send one staffer at a time to the appropriate schools.

During the week you have incomplete staff on hand, you can expect a 25% drop in productivity. When your four staffers are trained, the production level should rise to normal in a week, maintain that level for a month, and then gradually improve at a rate of 40 files a month until you reach your objective of 60 files per day.

A third alternative would involve handing off the job to a consulting firm specialising in job enrichment. Their fee for taking care of the entire job would be R6,000. To accomplish the task, they plan to make a study of the jobs involved, and then construct a program that would permit the involved employees to learn on the job. By using their own personnel as backup during the training period, the consulting firm will guarantee to maintain the current production level. Their timetable is as follows: one month to make the study and preparations (they can start immediately), one month to accomplish the training, and then a 20% increase in production (which will be permanently maintained).

What is your decision?

Decision 5: Staff Expansion

You've now achieved a production level of 60 files per day, reaching the company-wide average of 6 files produced for each employee (excluding supervisors). Your geographic area of operation is capable of generating 75 accounts (files) per day, however, and you'd like to step up to this new level as quickly as possible. Since many of your people are apparently operating at, or near, capacity, you'll have to increase your staff to accomplish this new performance objective. Your decision concerns the number of people required and the jobs which the additional staffers will perform. The addition of extra people will not affect your own personal workload or that of Pat Hedden, your Supervisor.

A recent study of workload/production utilisation made by Pat Hedden showed how close to operating capacity some of the staffers were:

How would you proceed?

A Personal Action Plan

I know where I'm starting from. I know I am already good at these things, and I can do them more often: I can learn this, I am learning this, and I am doing what I can at this stage as well. I have already learned: will start with small steps, especially in areas that are difficult for me. My short –term goals for improvement are:

promise to congratulate and reward myself every time I do something, no matter how small, to maintain and improve my skills. My rewards will be: I'm setting myself up for success by choosing long-range goals to work for gradually. My longterm goals for success are as follows: Recommended Reading List

Bendaly, Leslie. Strength in Numbers. McGraw-Hill, 1997. Boothman, Nicholas. How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less. Workman Publishing Company, 2000. Browne, Neil, and Stuart Keeley.

Asking the Right Questions: A

Guide to Critical Thinking (8th Edition). Prentice Hall, 2006. DeBono, Edward. The Six Thinking Hats. Penguin Books, 2000. Hamilton, Cheryl, and Cordell Parker. Communicating for Results. Wadsworth Publishing, 2007. Ivancevich, John M., Robert Konopaske, and Michael T. Matteson. Organisational Behavior and Management. McGraw-Hill/Irwin, 2007. Jones, Morgan. The Thinker's

Toolkit. Three Rivers Press, 1998.

Michalko, Michael. Cracking

Creativity. Ten Speed Press, 2001.

—. Thinkertoys: A Handbook of

Creative-Thinking Techniques (2nd

Edition). Ten Speed Press, 2006.

Murphy, Kevin J. Effective

Listening. Bantam Publishers,

1988.

Straker, David. Rapid Problem

Solving with Post-It Notes. Da Capo Press, 1997.

Guidelines and Solutions

Problem Solving Recommended Ranking

Solution Matrix

Case Study

What is the problem?

The problem seems to be that Tshepo has attacked Mike.

What is its root cause or the "real" problem?

There are several possible answers here. The most obvious is that Tshepo is jealous or insecure because Mike is receiving attention from the higher-ups. Or, perhaps Mike is being arrogant.

What is the Problem As Given (PAG)?

The problem as given is one

incident: Tshepo has attacked Mike.

What is the Problem As Understood (PAU)?

After reading the case study, we understand that the problem is a pattern of events and a breakdown in communication.

How does it feel to Mike?

Mike feels mistreated.

How does it feel to Tshepo?

Tshepo may feel slighted or insecure.

What are the best/worst/most probable consequences of solving/not solving the issue?

t Mike quit attacks Tshepo

Analysis

Your first step in analysing the data would be to project your space needs for five years, similar to this: All locations are acceptable from the standpoint of commuting. However, by analysing the two breakdowns further, it should be obvious that Location C is not suitable. Even though it's the least expensive space, you would outgrow it within a year. Location A can be eliminated also because you would be committed to a longterm lease (five years), but you would have outgrown the space needs. Since you can only stay at D for three years, you will be paying for space you don't need.

On the surface, D seems cheaper by R7000 per year, but when you figure in the first year cost the savings disappears.

You'll definitely be forced to move from D at the end of three years, so the savings will be consumed by the expense and hardship.

Decision

Location B is the best decision because it:

Meets your staff commutation needs

Solves your space problem for three and five years

Gives you more flexibility (can move after three years)

Scoring Decision 2 – Reproduction Backlog

Analysis

To properly evaluate your options, you should first project your copy needs for the next three years. Our projections look like this:

Now, let's compare the alternatives.

Hire Reproduction Aid

This will bring your production capacity up to 750 copies per day. It may eliminate your problem temporarily, but as you can see from the chart above it will do little for your longterm needs. You'll probably be backlogged again by the end of the year, and this time the problem will be compounded by an additional R120000 of overhead (the new person's salary) and a high reproduction cost of 60 cents per copy.

Purchasing New Copying Equipment

Equipment Expense Service Machine Cost Total

(3 yrs)

20000

Transfax 15000 5000

45000

Reprodata 30000 15000

Flocopy 36000 N/A 36000

Flocopy: two-thirds (13334) copies will be 8.5x11 inch (at 0.55) and one-third copies (6667) will be 8x5 inch (at 0.25) Working across from left to right, the chart breaks down the cost of the equipment for three years and adds service costs to arrive at a total cost. If you divide this cost by three (the life of the equipment), you then get the amortised cost per year. The next column shows the copies per day capacity; this is followed by the Cost Copy column which shows the method used to determine cost per copy. The last two columns project monthly costs for 20,000 copies per month (which you may reach this year) and 30,000 copies per month (which you'll probably require in three years).

Your comparison may not look exactly like the above chart, but in order to make an effective decision, you should structure the data so you can analyse all the essential elements.

Decision

Based on the above data, this is the decision.

Transfax, even though it is the least expensive to own and operate, must be eliminated because it has insufficient copy capacity. At a rate of 1,152 copies per day, it will only relieve your immediate problem.

Both the remaining copiers will provide substantial capacity that will cover your needs for the projected life of the equipment (three years) and then some. Your final decision, therefore, boils down to a matter of cost. The Flocopy model not only costs less to own or lease (by R3000 per year); more importantly, you will save over R70 000 in copying costs per year (at 20,000 copies per month) and over R50000 per year when you reach 30,000 copies per month.

Based on this analysis, your decision should be Flocopy.

Scoring Decision 3 –

Improving Supervision

Analysis

Until this point, we have dealt with decisions that have been

largely objective in nature. Not so for this one; while there are certain items that can be quantified, many of the influencing factors are judgmental. Here's how we would analyse and compare the alternatives.

In comparing and analysing the alternatives, it's essential that you weigh the judgmental factors heavier than the tangible cost factors. Besides, there isn't a great difference in cost when you add in all the items for each case. Initially Bill Buttons might appear to be a less expensive option, but if you consider the cost of your time to hire his replacement, the expense may level out with that of the other two options.

Decision

Hiring locally bears the most risk and can be eliminated quickly as a viable decision. It should be obvious that the disadvantages outweigh the few advantages.

This leaves two alternatives. The main issue should be, ―Who can do the most effective job?ǁ The analysis as we've done it points to Pat Hedden. The advantages of selecting Pat for the job outweigh the advantages for Bill Buttons. In addition, the disadvantages listed for Pat Hedden could be classified as inconveniences rather than as serious shortcomings involving risk.

Scoring

Decision 4 – Job Enrichment Analysis

Pat Hedden

If Pat handles the training, it will take him six months to achieve the desired goal of 60 per day or 1,200 per month. During the first three months, production can be expected to drop 10% from normal (to 900 per month from 1,000). During the next three months, it should adjust back to 1,000 per month.

Home Office

You can get all your people trained in three weeks by running them through the school continuously. This means a 25% drop for this period, giving you a production total for the three weeks of 562. The following week it will return to normal (250), giving you a one-month total of 812.The second month after starting you will produce 1,000 files; the third 1,040; and so on until you eventually reach the magic number of 1,200 in the seventh month.

Consultant

The consulting firm's approach would enable you to maintain production at 1,000 for the first two months after starting the project, with an immediate increase to 1,200 during the third month.

Let's compare the figures for the first six months.

Decision

It's apparent from this analysis and comparison that the consultant will get your production up to the desired level more quickly than the other two methods. This chart also gives us a way to compare costs for the different choices. The consultant's fee of R6,000 is a tangible cost, whereas the other approaches don't cost anything on the surface. However, when we compare production for the first six months, we find that the consulting firm's approach will produce about 600 files than any other method. If we use the gross profit figure of R15 per file and multiply it by 600, this gives us an additional R9,000 in revenue. This is more than enough to cover the consulting fee, so the best decision would be to have the consulting firm handle the job.

Aside from costs, another factor that would support the consulting firm decision is the expertise that it would bring the job. In real life, a move of this nature might be difficult to implement internally and the specialized know-how of the firm may well be an overriding plus.

Scoring Decision 5 –Staff Expansion Analysis

In order to raise production to

the desired level of 75, you need an increase of 15 files per day. Let's view the operation graphically before we proceed. With the job enrichment program installed, the new organisation and production flow looks like this: As you can see, any increase in production must come from the programmers. Since they are currently handling 60 files a day (an average of 15 each) and operating at 90% of capacity, the extra 10% from each, if achieved, would add a total of 6 additional files per day. (An increase in productivity for each programmer is actually a 1/9 increase: 10% divided by 90%.) If you multiple 1/9 by 15 you get

1.7 additional files per programmer, or a combined total of 6 additional files per day if all four programmers were working at 100% capacity. Conclusion: another programmer is required. Assuming s/he meets the same quota as other Programmers, this station will be capable of initiating and processing the 75 files per day.

The next station is Quality Controller. Operating at 75% capacity and currently handling 60 files, the Quality Controller could conceivably process an added 20 files. His total capacity is arrived at like this: a 25% increase in capacity, from 75% to 100%, is actually a 1/3 (25/75) increase in productivity. Therefore, if he can produce 60 at 75%, he can produce 1/3 more (20) at 100%, for a total capacity of 80 files per day.

In Decision 2, we anticipated the extra workload for the Reproduction Aid, so no problem there.

The Expediter, at first glance, may seem to be a problem. However, if you analyze his productivity like we did for the Quality Controller, you'll see it this way. To move him from 80% to 100% capacity is a production increase of ¼ (20/80). If he is capable of expediting 60 files currently, a ¼ increase would raise him 15, to a total of 75. It might be tight, but he could handle the load.

The Data Entry Clerk is in the same situation as the Quality Controller and can handle up to 80 per day.

Decision

Something's missing in our analysis. We hope you discovered it. You don't have enough information to make an accurate decision in this case as no data is available for the two secretaries. If you assumed that they could handle the extra load (or even assumed that they couldn't) you made your decision too hastily. We created this situation to reinforce this point: delay the decision when essential information is lacking.

### Chapter Six

Abigail Van Buren, the writer of Dear Abby, once said, "There are two kinds of people: those

who come into a room with the attitude, 'Here I am!' and those who have the attitude, 'There

you are!'"

This is an exploration about the type of impact we want to have in life and work. We

will consider and define the influence that you can in the workplace. You will also learn skills for

success and how to create those circumstances.

Learning Objectives

At the end of this , you will be able to:

o Speak in terms of the impact and influence that you want to have in life and work

o Understand your personal style in terms of your personal brand

o Develop skill in areas like focus, concentration, and communication to support your

brand

o Build credibility and trust by living your brand

o Take ownership of your image, both online and in person

Why did you take this course? Use this opportunity to consider your personal learning

objectives and reasons for taking this course.

3

Selfexercise

Think of five people that you really admire. (They may come from business or from your

personal life.) Use the space below to write down their name and how you know them (family

member, colleague, former boss, coach, mentor, teacher, etc.). Then write down the

characteristics you most admire about them (or that make them stand out).

Person One

Name:

Relationship to you:

Characteristics that you

admire: Person Two Name:

Relationship to you:

Characteristics that you

admire: Person Three Name:

Relationship to you:

Characteristics that you admire:

4

Person Four

Name:

Relationship to you:

Characteristics that you admire:

Person Five

Name:

Relationship to you:

Characteristics that you admire:

5

Two: Importance of a Personal Brand

Having a personal impact can mean that you are influencing, leading, and leaving a lasting

impression. Have you decided where you want to go and precisely what impression you wish to

create?

In this , you'll review the execise that you completed and start to consider your personal

brand.

What's in a Brand?

Companies brand themselves to

create an image, a recognizable spark that encourages their

target customers to connect with them, remember them, and do business with them. We

create a personal image for the same reason; to build a brand centered on ourselves that leads

people to think of us.

Have you thought about the impact you can be having when you do things? What do you want

people to think of when you network with them, sell to them, consult or help them, or when

you come to them looking for business, a job, or whatever it is that you need? What is it you do

that makes you, or your work, stand out in other people's minds?

Whatever the standout

factor is, it becomes part of your personal brand.

In the first selfexercise,

you were asked to identify five people that you admire and to list the

characteristics you admire about those people.

Why five people? Why not three or seven? We chose five because three doesn't seem like quite

enough, and seven can be too many to focus on at one time. If you've been following the

successful career of Jack Canfield (one of the founders of The Chicken Soup for the Soul series

and author of The Success Principles), he says that we become the average of the five people

that we associate with the most. This means that our income and achievements are similar to

the people that we spend the most time with. It is important to identify role models and

mentors who demonstrate what is possible for us.

Of course, we also have to take positive action in our lives in order to achieve the things we

want!

6

Defining Success

Review the list of characteristics from your selfexercise

and answer the following questions.

What do these characteristics contribute to (i.e. overall success or something more specific)?

What makes someone worthy of admiration?

Why do we select the role models and mentors that we do?

While we all define success in a way that means something to us personally, we often look to

others for inspiration and ideas. Whether success to you means earning recognition; making

money; or achieving education, financial, career, emotional, or other goals, this course will give

you tools you need to take yourself there as a reflection of your personal brand.

7

Your Personal Brand

Thinking of people who have ownership over their personal brand can be a bit challenging.

First, let's look at some corporate brands that we are probably all familiar with, such as:

o McDonald's

o CocaCola

o Nike

o Toyota What is it about these brands that make them memorable?

They have a specific look through their logo which makes us think of their product and qualities

and characteristics that appeal to us, such as value for our money, a quality (or notable lack of

quality) in their products, taste,

etc.

Consider some people who have a particular look about them. Who are they? What makes

them memorable?

Here are some ideas:

o Steve Jobs of Apple always wore a black mock turtleneck sweater with blue jeans.

He will be remembered for his innovation, persistence, and his propensity for micromanaging.

o Queen Elizabeth II usually wears a hat and her coats match her

outfits. She is noted for her dedication to her role.

o Prof. Chris Barnard has a style that is very direct. People remember him because he

performed the world's first successful human to human heart transplant.

Brand Elements

Elements of your personal brand include your entire package, such as:

o Body language

o Image (including how you

dress, your hair, and accessories)

o Communication skills

o Credibility

o Managing difficult situations

o Social media presence 8 In commercial terms, a brand

is the customer's perception of a product. Organisations build that perception by paying attention to areas such as:

o Product development

o Research and innovation

o Marketing

o Sales

o Return on investment

o Bottom line

o Finances in the black or red

o Community involvement

In reality, though, the brand is the consumer's perception and nothing more. In a similar way,

your personal brand is people's perception about you. People who do business with you have

pretty high expectations about what a particular brand provides them, and they will review all

aspects of you to form their perception.

Having a personal brand doesn't mean that you have to dress in the same uniform every day

(although you might dress in a consistent pattern), or that you are an eccentric individual

(although you may be). It doesn't mean that if you are an introvert you must become

gregarious, and it does not require that the extroverts mask their feelings or thoughts about

things.

What does developing a personal brand mean to you? It means that:

o You are recognisable for your message as an individual.

o You send a consistent message. For example, you are polite and direct.

o You present yourself as professional and well put together when you go out.

o You ensure that your social media presence is positive.

In what ways will developing a personal brand benefit you?

o It will help you build credibility with its consistency.

o It will help you build a network.

o It will help you to be memorable to others.

What will you do with it once you have it developed?

o Keep consistent with it in order to maintain credibility and respect.

o Leverage it to become known in my community and/or industry.

9

Three: Your Brand Approach to Others

Sometimes we need to take a good look at ourselves in order to consider how we convey

ourselves to the wider world around us. A good look also provides us with some language to

work with.

In this , you'll complete an assessment that considers what your personal style is and the way you see yourself.

Brand Style Assessment

Choose the phrase that most closely reflects the way you see yourself (not the way you want

others to see you). Sometimes you may feel that more than one statement fits; if that happens,

choose the one that is most like you most of the time.

1. When I meet someone at a cocktail reception, I like to:

a. Learn lots about them

b. Tell them about myself

c. See what's on the food table

d. Hover on the fringe, observing, and interacting as people approach

2. When I attend a networking event or , I usually:

a. Listen attentively to all introductions

b. Don't need to be introduced; we all have name tags

c. I listen to most of them, but if

they are too longwinded my attention drifts elsewhere

d. I avoid these events because I have too much else to do

3. When I am in a managerial or leadership role:

a. People on my team come to me for direction

b. I check every step of the project

c. I encourage them to be independent

d. I avoid giving negative performance reviews

4. When I go to a meeting, I usually:

a. Volunteer to take notes

b. Sit near the meeting chair, but avoid taking notes

c. Sit with a least one seat between me and the next person

d. Sit beside another person 10

5. When I meet someone I know fairly well:

a. I ask about how their day is going

b. I share a story or a joke

c. I get right to the point

d. I introduce the conversation

by outlining its purpose

6. When I am at a meeting and someone is doing a presentation:

a. I want it to bring a few laughs

b. I try to imagine how the presenter feels

c. I try to analyse the logic of what's being discussed

d. I get bored or impatient if it does not flow well or engage me

7. When people enter my work space or home, I usually:

a. Invite them to sit down

b. Tell them to sit down

c. Let them decide where or whether they want to sit

d. Pull out a chair for them

8. When I am speaking with people:

a. I prefer to stand close to them

b. I like to keep three feet or more of distance between us

c. I need to have room to step back if they get too close

d. I don't mind if they are close to me

9. When I deliver a presentation, it:

a. Is well organised

b. Connects to people on an emotional level

c. Is powerful

d. Is entertaining

10. My telephone calls:

a. Are almost nonexistent now; I text for efficiency

b. Avoid small talk and focus on purpose

c. Are animated and lively

d. Tend to be quite long

11. Publicly speaking on a cell phone:

a. Keeps life interesting

b. Makes most people uncomfortable

c. Helps me learn what people are thinking about

d. Should be avoided

11

12. When my work group celebrates a big win, I tend to:

a. Attend the party

b. Organize the party and invite everyone

c. Focus on the time and money it involves

d. Avoid the party if possible, but put in an appearance if I have to

13. Which of the following interests you the most?

a. Ideas

b. Information

c. People

d. Actions

14. You respect when you and others pay attention to:

a. Intelligence

b. Authority

c. Relationships

d. Performance

15. You pride yourself on being able to:

a. Solve problems

b. Look after details

c. Inspire others to action

d. Make quick and effective

decisions 12 Results Tabulation Assessment Tool Results Check your answer to each

question in the Branding Style, and circle the answer below that relates to it. For example, if you

selected statement A in question 1, you would circle the

symbol beside 1a below. Once you have finished transferring your answers to this page, count

the number of each symbol. Scoring Guide 1 a.○ b.□ c.→ d.∆ 2 a.○

b.∆ c.□ d.→ 3 a.∆ b.→ c.□

d. ○ 4 a.○ b.□ c.→ d.∆ 5 a.○ b.□ c.∆ d.→ 6 a.□ b.○ c.→ d.∆ 7 a.○ b.∆ c.→ d.□

8 a.□ b.→ c.∆ d.○ 9 a.→ b.○ c.∆ d.□ 10 a.→ b.∆ c.□

d.○ 11 a.□ b.→ c.○ d.∆ 12 a.○ b.□ c.→ d.∆ 13 a.○ b.→

c.∆ d.□ 14 a.→ b.∆ c.○ d.□ 15 a.○ b.→ c.∆ d.□ Totals ∆ _____________ □ _____________ ○ _____________

→ _____________ Scoring If you scored highest in the: ∆ category, your primary style

is Pragmatic

□ category, your primary style is Enthusiastic

○ category, your primary style is Accommodating

→ category, your primary style

is Detailed 13 Overview

These results will give you a

good idea of your selfperception: the way that you look and act in front of other people, which is

the foundation for your personal brand. Keep in mind that while

things can be in sharp contrast on paper, as people we are much more of a blend of all these

types. Depending on how close our scores are, we can flex our behaviour between styles

(within our comfort and ability levels) to suit our purposes.

No one type is any better or worse than the other – they just provide us with a platform to talk

about who we are and how we behave. If you scored within three points of another category,

you may find it quite easy to stretch yourself and behave in the manner of that other category.

If you are farther away, you will find stretching to appeal to people with other tendencies a

little more challenging, but you can learn to get along with all kinds

of people. 14 Brand Assessment Matrix Here is a visual representation

of the results of your assessment: Understanding Styles Sometimes our approach needs

to be adjusted in order to present our brand in a way that

other people will resonate with. If, for example, you are pragmatic, you may find that people

who are an accommodating style have the most trouble relating to you. You are more assertive

than they are, and less expressive. They value expression in order to relate to people and have

a need to have people understand one another. They are also less assertive than you, and if you

have a tendency toward aggression, they will often avoid getting to know you.

15

The Pragmatic Style (∆)

The pragmatic style is demonstrated by being highly assertive and lower in expressiveness (the

top left quadrant in the diagram). The pragmatic style is characterised by decisiveness; direct,

quick speech; loud tones; direct eye contact; a bold visual appearance; and a respect for

personal distance. Your personal spaces at work, home, or the gym all denote a powerful

f

h d

i p

o o

e

top right quadrant in the diagram.

The enthusiastic style expresses opinions easily and can be very persuasive in their approach.

They use a lot of inflection, expressive tones, and are animated when they speak. They tend to

be active and demonstrate a lot of movement and enthusiasm about everything they do.

Their workspaces are often cluttered and they are comfortable with close physical proximity.

Challenges can include listening and paying attention to details, a tendency to generalize

frequently, and to exaggerate or be overly dramatic.

The Accommodating Style (○)

The accommodating style is characterised by a tendency to low assertiveness and high

expressiveness. This style focuses on relationship integrity. They listen, use supportive

language, and thrive when everyone is working well and without conflict. Their speech is often

at a slow to moderate rate, using soft tones. They demonstrate patience, build trust, and use

supportive language. They do not need to shake hands, although they will if that's what

everyone else is doing. This style prefers to hug.

Their workspace will contain family pictures and sentimental items. Their challenges can include

handling conflict when it does arise, keeping opinions to themselves, and dealing with data

and

figures.

16

The Detailed Style (→)

The detailed style is found in the lower left corner of the diagram and is depicted by low levels

of assertiveness and low levels of expressiveness. This style focuses on details, facts, and

figures. They use precise language and avoid bringing emotion into the conversation. They use

little vocal inflection, speak economically, and control their emotions.

They will avoid touching (shaking hands and particularly hugging) if possible, and maintain a

very strong sense of personal space. If there are things hanging in their office, they will be

related to charts and graphs. Their desktop will be tidy and wellorganised.

Challenges can

include being too focused on details and losing sight of the bigger picture, and not paying

attention to people's feelings.

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Four: Looking at the Outside

Do you have a signature look, or a level of dress that you present when you leave the house?

How do others perceive you, given the way you present yourself?

In this , you'll learn about dressing for success and business etiquette. You will also give

some consideration to the sound of your voice.

Dress for Success

The way you look is what people see first. It is the basis for their opinion about you before you

even have the chance to speak.

What kind of image are you presenting?

No matter what type of work you do, your image needs to support that, not contradict it.

Lately, there has been an acceptance of wearing blue jeans as part of the corporate uniform.

Fridays in particular became "casual day" when all employees could wear blue jeans or casual

wear. In order to protect the corporate brand, staff often contributed a dollar or two to a

charity. Frontline

staff would wear a badge saying that they were dressing down for charity.

This push for casual wear has changed the way many workplaces look today. CEOs dress in suits

and ties in some companies, and in Tshirts

and sandals in others.

No matter what clothing you select to help you create an impact when you enter a room or

meet someone new, there are a few rules. We refer to these as Seven Factors for Success.

Factor One: Iron

Clothing needs to be clean and free of wrinkles. Get rid of that rumpled college or "just rolled

out of bed" look. Learn how to use an iron and use it regularly.

Factor Two: Grab a Needle and Thread

Buttons, zips, and other fasteners need to be properly attached to your clothing to give you a

polished look.

Factor Three: Footwear

People notice what your feet are wearing, too. Your shoes need to be clean and in good

condition. Learn how to apply shoe polish and purchase good quality footwear. You can lessen

your credibility significantly with a nice outfit and a poor looking pair of shoes.

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Factor Four: Hair

Your hair needs to be clean (even if the style of your mop is a messy one). No one wants to be

around the smell of dirty hair, and some styles really trap smell.

Factor Five: Teeth

Your teeth need to be clean. You don't have to follow the trend of whitening and braces for

adults, but your smile is founded on your teeth, and they need to be well looked after in order

to support your image. Getting your teeth cleaned regularly also helps to keep your breath

fresh.

Factor Six: Dressing Up

Dress for the position that you want and the respect you are after. If everyone around you

wears baggy shorts and skater shoes because you sell skateboards, that's one thing. If you work

in a design company, an art gallery, or a jewelry manufacturer, you will probably dress

differently than members of a law firm. If you want to reinforce your brand and have an impact,

you still need to dress well wherever you are. Look carefully through your wardrobe and select clothes that will serve you.

Factor Seven: Glasses and Accessories

Long time glasses wearers have a gift for being able to look through a pair of smudged or dirty

lenses, but your customers,

colleagues, and manager will notice that layer of grime. Keep a

microfiber cloth handy to keep your glasses clean. Pay attention to watches, cuff links, and

jewelry with the same attention to detail.

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Business Etiquette

Having good manners doesn't just mean you make a positive impression; they are also good for

business. No matter how formal or informal your personal brand is, people still care about

social skills and manners (even if they don't come out and say so). Rules about which fork to

use for the salad, or not talking with food in your mouth, are examples of good manners.

Etiquette, however, takes the discussion about manners to a higher level.

Emily Post, famous for her approach to etiquette, manners, and ethics, defined etiquette like

this: "Whenever two people come together and their behaviour affects one another, you have

etiquette. Etiquette is not some rigid code of manners; it's simply how persons' lives touch one

another."

When you apply your awareness of etiquette in different situations, you demonstrate that you

want to be taken seriously. You become an ambassador for what you do and who you work

with.

20 How You Sound Do you have a "phone voice?"

This is the voice you always use when you answer the phone;

there can be total chaos around you, but when you pick up the phone and say, "Good

morning," the caller hears calm professionalism.

In contrast is the voice we use on the street or at the market. Some of us have grown up using

what we might call "street language," or language that is commonly spoken with friends

outside of the workplace. In business, however, we want to be clearly understood and so we

apply a veneer or polish to our language. Sometimes a vocal or image coach will teach you to

drop your street language so that it stops creeping into your business conversations and so that

we are more easily understood.

When it comes to how you sound, you have to make a decision based on what's important to

you and the brand you represent. Does your accent create a barrier in some way? If not, there

is no need to change it. But if your accent prevents people from understanding you, or if your

street language is having a negative impact on your brand, then it may be worth doing

something about.

Things to Consider

Here are some things to consider when evaluating your business voice:

o What's your speech like?

o Do you have a position of authority and a very soft speaking voice? Is it helping you?

o Or, do you work with a lot of softspoken people and speak to them in a

booming, direct voice?

o Do people listen to you?

o Do they respect you?

o How is your voice supporting the brand that you wish to project?

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Five: Looking at the Inside

We've spent some time thinking about how people look at you from the outside. Next, we'll

look at how you can increase your impact by growing some key skills.

In this , you'll learn about developing focus and concentration techniques, which in turn

can help you to increase your

confidence. Developing Focus and

Concentration Getting Focused Sometimes we have so much

going on, it's as though we disrupt our own ability to concentrate and get things done. Whether

you want to be known as a goto person who does it all, or you are someone who gets things

done through others, you must be able to complete projects in order to be credible and build

your brand.

Sadly, some of us seem to look for the easiest way to getting things done. We put in just

enough effort to avoid getting fired, or at least manage to avoid the performance talk with our

boss. Taking the easy way out time and time again is an example of poor behaviour. If you want

to be recognised as someone who gets things done, and who has a positive impact on their

workplace or their own company, you're going to have to work hard.

One way to accomplish a lot more than everyone else seems able to is to apply yourself with

focus and concentration. This means that you clear distractions (from your desk or your mind),

and you get to work.

What are your best techniques for focusing on what's important? Here are some ideas:

o Turn off distractions so that you get your priorities finished.

o Record a phone message that says you are working on a project from 9 a.m. until

noon today and that you will call people back after lunch. (Just make sure that you

do!)

o Turn off your email

notifications, close your door, and get to work.

o If you know your best time of the day to do focused thinking, work with that. If you

are a morning person, or afternoon, or evening, those are the times you want to

reserve to get your best work done. If that doesn't work with the ebb and flow at

your workplace or in your industry, see if you can arrange a few days a week where

you are in control of your schedule. Once they see how much you get done, it's

harder for them to argue!

o If you work in an open area, schedule some time in a meeting room and work in

there so that people do not stop by and distract you.

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The 80/20 Rule

The 80/20 Rule, or Pareto's law, says that 20% of what is on your to do list will bring 80% of

your results. Make sure you are working on the 20% to make the most of your time. When it

comes to the low value, timeconsuming

tasks, make sure that you delegate them, or take them

off your list completely!

Improving Your Concentration

Concentration is a skill that is learned and can be vastly improved. Many of us work in an

environment of distractions and interruptions like email

notifications, the Internet, stimulants

like coffee or cooldrinks, and meetings. All of these things interfere with our ability to set aside

a solid chunk of time to concentrate and work. The day is so broken up, it seems like there is

only five minutes available at one time to actually get work done. Instead of talking about it, we

must get focused, set up time for uninterrupted work, and then get that work done.

If you feel like you can only concentrate for very short pieces of time, start there. Assign

yourself a task and then work for 45 minutes, giving yourself 15 minutes of each hour to check

email,

grab a coffee, or touch base with your team. After several days of this discipline, start

increasing your time so that are working for 50 minutes, then an hour, and then an hour and

fifteen minutes. You'll be amazed at how much you can accomplish when you buckle down and

really get into it!

23

Developing Confidence

Confidence is not just about how you feel; it affects how you look. When you think about your

brand, and the promotion of it within your career, you need to be confident. Just thinking about

your personal brand and the impact that you can have on your life is a sign of confidence.

Can we project selfconfidence

even when we don't feel selfconfident?

Yes, there are several techniques that you can apply in

order to gain confidence. Pretend You're Confident Imagine yourself to be a

confident person. Get that image in your mind and act it out. Stand up

straight, dress better, and try to play the part. If you visualise yourself as confident and

successful, that will help you to do things confidently and achieve success. When you feel your

confidence slipping, visualise and use positive words to build yourself up.

When Your Positive SelfTalk Doesn't Listen

Sometimes we can be so hard on ourselves that we will actually argue with that voice in our

head and therefore can't get the positive message track to enter our consciousness. One

helpful way of breaking this pattern is to interfere with it. When you catch yourself listening to

negative selftalk,

play music that inspires you and sing or hum along. It is much more difficult

for those negative messages to persist through music. The music can also be the positive

message that you need at that time.

Make Eye Contact

Confident people look people in the eye; people who aren't confident don't, unless it is a

cultural restriction. Don't stare or make people uncomfortable; find that comfortable level of

engaging in eye contact. (In some cultures it can be considered rude to look people directly in

the eye. Make sure that you know your audience.)

Dance

While this one might get you gasping (for confidence and air!), dancing is a great way to build

yourself up. First, we know that the benefits of physical exercise are great, but did you ever

think to let yourself go within a class of other likeminded people who are all learning at the

same time? Often, you can take a class or two before you have to pay the fee. Then you can

decide whether you are more of a salsa, flamenco, or ballroom kind of person.

24

If you don't have a partner, don't worry because lots of times there are other dancers there on

their own. Or, you can take a class in line dancing. Whichever you decide, dance (or even yoga

or guitar lessons) will force you to focus on something that you can enjoy.

Be sure of your facts

Your confidence can't be all a front. While you are looking people directly in the eyes, standing

straight, and otherwise acting as if the world were your oyster, you also have to know what you

are doing. If you are prepared and sure of your facts, you've got a better chance of projecting

confidence.

Rehearse

Rehearsing can be as simple as writing out a speech or your intended conversation with

someone and practicing it in front of the mirror. For example, you could do a roleplay

with a

trusted friend or colleague as the interviewer before you interview for a new position. To tackle

your underlying fear of failure, include imagery with your rehearsal: imagine yourself

succeeding.

Pep Talks Work

Rather than dwell on the things that didn't work or the things that didn't go well, focus on what

you did accomplish. Give yourself a mental pep talk at the beginning or the end of every day.

Remind yourself that you have done some things well.

Read Inspiring Biographies and Autobiographies

Build a file of stories that inspire you most. Remember that our capacity far exceeds our usual

level of performance. Accept the fact you will have ups and downs just like everyone else.

Experiencing them through reading will help reinforce that concept.

Be Thankful

No matter how bad your circumstances, there is probably somebody worse off than you. As

well, build excellent support around you. There are a lot of tremendous people out there to

spend your valuable time with. However, relationships are fragile. You must be prepared to

devote some time to them.

25

Push Yourself to Accomplish Short-Term Goals

There is no greater way to build confidence than to get things done. Push yourself to get at

least three things accomplished each week that move you closer to your goals. Develop a habit

of getting things done and being productive.

Do Something for Yourself Every Week

You deserve it. Find a way to celebrate what you have accomplished or overcome. Give yourself

some kind of tangible reward for your efforts.

26

Confidence Builder

Four Steps for Success

One of the tools that we can use in building confidence is a process to help us communicate

effectively and with assertiveness. This tool involves a four step process based on ThinkActFeelI

Need. 27 Framework The four steps can be framed as

follows. Make sure that when you are referring to someone's behaviour that you talk about the behaviour and not the person.

1. When I witness __________ or When you _______________

State what you are seeing without making a judgment. Be a videographer and only state what

you can see or hear.

2. The effect (the consequence to me) is

This is your reaction.

3. I feel __________

This is your feelings on the matter. There could be range of adjectives here including

disrespected, unsupported, upset, angry, etc.

4. I would like __________

What you need or want from the other person to resolve the issue.

Example

When you point your finger at me and yell, I don't want to be around you or work with you. I

feel disrespected. I would like to discuss things with you in a calm, nonthreatening

manner.

28

Six: Setting Goals

In order to get where you are going, you need to know where you want to go! Having a welldefined

plan will help you identify the tasks that will move you forward towards your

destination.

In this , you will start to think about what you really want from your brand and what

kind of impact you want to make. You will learn about the SPIRIT acronym (which can help you

define your goals) and some ways to develop flexibility and resiliency.

What Do You Want?

If you really don't know what you want, it's hard to represent your brand and have the impact

that you want. Many times, people are looking for the easiest route they can find. As an

example, they ask for money in the belief that if we have all the money we could possibly want,

everything else would be ours for the taking. However, we all know that isn't exactly how it

works. Money doesn't buy happiness, although it does make the search a little easier.

One of life's fundamental truths is, "Ask and you shall receive." Kids can ask for what they want,

whether it's an ice cream cone or a new toy. As adults, we seem to lose our ability to ask for

what we want, and we can really struggle when it comes to asking for or accepting help.

Remember, the world responds to those who ask! There are many different asking strategies.

We can create abundance in our lives just by mastering the art of asking assertively.

There are three reasons why we don't ask for what we want.

o We believe that it's not right to ask.

o We lack confidence.

o We fear rejection.

Some people don't enjoy the rewards of asking because they don't ask effectively. Here are five

ways to ensure that you get results when you ask.

Ask Clearly

Be precise. Think about your request. Take time to prepare; maybe even write out what you

want and practice. Words are

powerful so choose them carefully. 29 Ask With Confidence

You are more apt to get what you want if you speak up and sound confident, rather than

hesitant and unsure of yourself. The worst that can happen is that you will be denied, but it

probably won't put you in a worse situation than before. If this route is closed, look for another.

Ask Creatively

What can you do to make sure you make an impact and to make certain your request doesn't

get lost in the crowd? How could you make your request stand out? How can you make your

request fun? Schedule some time every month to dream up new and different ways to ask for

what you want.

Ask Sincerely

When you really want help,

people will respond. Be willing to be vulnerable. Tell it the way it is,

lumps and all. Don't worry if your presentation isn't perfect; ask from your heart.

Help Others

We live in a world of reciprocal relationships and energy. When you give, you get. When you

are ready to lend someone a hand, do so. The more you can help others, the more likely that

someone will be available to help you when you need it. Be giving of your time, and accepting

of theirs.

30

Go For It!

Selftest questions –Think of something that you truly want from others or

something that you could use help

with.

How can you start the ball rolling by asking today?

What techniques might you use?

31

Identifying Dreams and Setting Goals

Part of the reason people struggle with where they want to go in life is that their goals are

vague and ill defined. "More confidence" and "more money" sound really good, but unless we

get really clear about what they mean, we may never reach those goals.

Identifying Your Dreams

It is important to give some thought to what we want and how we are going to get there. Right

now we're going to take some time to think about our own hopes and dreams. From that, we

will set some concrete goals.

What area(s) of life do you want to set goals in? Some ideas:

o Career (responsibilities or a specific position, or maybe even your own business)

o Income

o Relationships (marriage, children, family, friends, colleagues, customers)

o Things to learn

o Hobbies to take up

o Volunteer activities or charities to support

o Recreational activities

o Home, vehicles, or other

possessions to purchase

o Places to travel to

o Spiritual

o Health (examples: lose 20 pounds, exercise more frequently)

o Educational

o Behaviours and habits to develop or change

Now, clearly some of these are achievable in the short term while others will take longer. Some

will obviously take more work than others. 32

SPIRIT

If the goal is quite large, it needs to be broken down into several small, achievable goals that

will help you get where you want to go. Good goals should have SPIRIT!

Specific

Be specific about what you want or don't want to achieve. The result should be tangible and

measurable. "Talk to people" is pretty ambiguous; "Talk with two of my coworkers each day" is

specific.

Prizes

Reward yourself at different points in the goal, particularly if it's longterm.

If your goal is to set

up a meeting with a new colleague, for example, you might purchase a special treat for yourself

afterward.

Individual

The goal must be something that you want to do. If your spouse wants you to lose 10 kilograms

but you think you look fine, you're not going to want to work towards the goal.

Review

Review your progress periodically. Does the goal still make sense to you? Is it still giving you

energy and something you find motivating? Are you stuck? Do you need to adjust certain parts

of it?

Inspiring

Frame the goal positively. Make it fun to accomplish. You could make a poster of the end result,

frame it, and post it on the wall.

TimeBound

Give yourself a deadline for achieving the goal. Even better, split the goal into small parts and

give yourself a deadline for each item.

33

Getting Some SPIRIT

Use the worksheets on the following pages to set a goal

related to developing your personal brand or improving your personal impact. Selfexercise

Goal Statement One

Check to make sure you have

included each of these elements. Specific Prizes Individual Review Inspiring Who will you check in with?

When are your checkin dates? What should be accomplished by each one? Date Task

34

Goal Statement Two

Check to make sure you have

included each of these elements. Specific Prizes Individual Review Inspiring Who will you check in with?

When are your checkin dates? What should be accomplished by each one? Date Task

35 Being Flexible and Resilient When you are setting up big

goals (which can include this shift you are making in having

personal impact and creating your personal brand), there's a very good chance you will hit

some setbacks. People you thought would be supportive may not be. You may let your guard

down and have your brand tarnished. Your ability to bounce back after these setbacks is

essential in reaching your goals. Being able to apply some flexibility and resilience is a way to

measure how successful – and happy – you are.

Some people may appear to be more resilient than others. While this ability may be innate for

some, a lot of the behaviours are learned. The evidence of learning means that we can all

develop traits of resilience and flexibility. We have organised our top five tips as the 5 D's.

Develop a Positive SelfConcept

Resilient people know that they are worth it and they see themselves in a positive way. A

positive selfconcept

does not mean you have to behave like someone who is selfcentered

or

selfish. It does mean that you

perceive yourself in a positive way. Develop Relationships Resilient people tend to give to

and be a part of strong networks. Friends, family, business

partnerships, and colleagues are all a source of support when things are not going well.

Accountability partners can help

get things back on track. Develop Appreciation Focusing on things that are

going well helps bring more good things into view. This will help you

to regain a positive mindset if you have let go of it. It also helps you to deal with challenges

more effectively than if you are focusing on what's going wrong.

Develop Acceptance

No matter how positive, flexible, and resilient you are, there are things that cannot be changed.

Resilient people accept these things, instead of spending precious energy fighting things that

cannot be altered.

36

Develop Vision

When you look at your life, your goals, and your business from a distance, problems and

setbacks seem less important than when they are close up. Develop your vision and then focus

on the ability to call it up whenever you wish.

37

Seven: Networking for Success

If you were to write a list of names of people that you know directly, how many people could

you list? Of those people, if you needed all of them to show up and help you with something,

how many would show up?

In this , you'll learn some techniques to help you build your network and make the most

of those connections that you have.

Getting Out There

Networking is an effective way for you to build your brand. However, building a network can be

a difficult thing for a lot of people. If you are inhibited at all, the idea of introducing yourself to

people can be daunting. If you are outgoing, people may have the impression you just want to

meet them to further your career or grow your business. The real purpose of networking,

however, is that you bring something to the group that is helpful to them (not you specifically)

without expecting something directly in return.

For example, if you know someone who needs their house painted, and you know a painter,

you could introduce the two. You do not gain directly from the referral, except that now it's

possible that the person you refer and the painter will both think

of you when they have a need

or a referral for you.

There are plenty of networking groups available to help you get out into your community and

to get known. Building a network takes time and patience. If you are hoping to get business or

recognition from a group, expect it to take a year or more. Your results will depend on how

involved you are.

Here are some excellent tips to try as you start to build or expand upon your network:

o If you are a strong writer or teacher, you can write for a variety of media (such as

local news, websites, and blogs). Just make sure your work is getting read and that

it's work you are proud of.

o If you enjoy presentations, then volunteer to sit on a panel or start looking for paid

s and conference presentations.

o Get away from time wasters, such as water cooler gossip, or people who socialize

excessively at work and are not getting things done. You don't want to be associated

with these people because they will not be a good reflection of your brand.

o Spend time with mentors and coaches in the workplace that you can learn from,

even if it's just while sharing a meal or break together now and again.

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Think about some networking strategies that might work in your area. Here are some ideas:

o Breakfast meeting groups

o Mastermind groups

o Association membership meetings, workshops, and conferences

o Industry meetings, workshops, conventions, and conferences

o Religious groups

o Members of a class you are

taking online or in person

o Online groups (forums)

o Crossfunctional

teams at work

o Volunteering just about anywhere

o Volunteering as a board member

o Volunteering to assist with

fundraisers 39

Eight: Communication Strategies

We communicate all the time, whether we are speaking, observing, or listening.

Communicating well is not a simple undertaking. Most of us can learn some new techniques to

communicate better.

In this , you'll learn some techniques for communicating well. As you work through the

, consider how you can communicate better to improve your personal impact.

What is Said and What is Heard

Some people seem to be naturally good communicators, while others have to work at it.

Communication skills are not related to how bright we are, either; people can be gifted in their

subject matter, but struggle with communicating what they know or to connect with people.

What we say isn't always what the other person hears. Our message goes through a

complicated system of filters and outside influences before it reaches the recipient. We must

always clarify that the person has received the message that we intended to send.

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Communication Situations

What would you do if you were trying to talk to someone...

In a noisy workplace?

And there were a lot of visual distractions?

And you felt really tired?

And they had a very strong accent?

And they were speaking too fast for you to understand, or too slowly or softly?

And they kept using jargon or terms you didn't understand?

And they appeared to be very stressed?

And they were using emotionally charged words or statements?

And they were verbally attacking you?

Here are some suggestions:

In a noisy workplace

Move to a quieter location, such as a meeting room with a door you can close.

Visual distractions

Move to a less distracting environment. Turn your back to your computer screen, or have a

conversation corner in your office that is away from your computer or where a television

screen won't catch your eye. You felt really tired Admit that you aren't feeling

your best and are too tired to focus.

Reschedule the conversation if possible. They had a very strong accent Admit that you are having

trouble with hearing what they say. Respectfully ask them to slow down or help you in some other way, so that you can understand

them.

They were speaking too fast for you to understand, or too slowly or softly

Admit that you are having trouble following them because they are speaking so quickly (or

slowly or softly). Respectfully ask them to change the pace.

They kept using jargon words or terms you didn't understand

Politely interrupt. Let them know you are not familiar with a term or expression and ask them

to explain.

They appeared to be very stressed

Mention their behaviour, and that you have noticed it. Ask how you can help.

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They were using emotionally charged words or statements

Mention the behaviour. Use your skills at conflict resolution or difficult conversations to

depersonalise the conversation and deescalate

the situation.

They were verbally attacking you

Call the behaviour for what it is. You can stop the conversation and walk away if people

continue the barrage.

How Do You Rate Your Listening Ability?

One reason listening is so important is that we do so much of it every day. We often say that

good communicators spend far more of their time listening than they do talking. Fortunately,

listening is a skill that we can develop. In an age when we are inundated with media messages

and portable devices, we can choose to listen more than many people seem to be.

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Listening Assessment

Answer the questions on the test below. Don't answer the questions too quickly; it is easy to

confuse what you know is right from what you actually do.

Question Yes No Points

1. Do you enjoy listening?

2. Is it easy for you to listen with interest to a large variety of subjects?

3. Do your friends seek you out to discuss a problem or decision when

they need help?

4. Does your attention usually

stray toward other groups or people entering or leaving the room?

5. Do you interrupt?

6. Are you more apt to be

thinking ahead to what you will say next rather

than weighing what you are being told?

7. Do you stop listening to everything when you strongly disagree with

the speaker on one point?

8. Do you assume or anticipate regarding the other person's views?

9. Do you feel you can judge most people quite quickly before hearing

them out?

10. Do you generalise (All old people think... all redheads... all college

kids...)?

11. Do you encourage others to

elaborate or clarify points you have misunderstood?

12. Do you listen to what is not

said, such as the obvious omission? GRAND TOTAL 43 Scoring

o Give yourself 2 points if you answered "Yes" for question 1. You

enjoy listening as much as you enjoy talking.

o Give yourself 2 points if you answered "No" to questions 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10.

o Give yourself 2 points if you answered "Yes" to questions 2, 3, 11, and 12.

Your score: ___________

Interpretation

If your score is 20 or more,

you've already developed some strong communication skills. You have the ability to listen to

people, understand what they are saying, and communicate your

understanding back to them. Use your listening and communication skills to help others.

If your score is between 10 and 18, you're within the average range. Use this quiz to help you

identify where you're doing well and where you would like to do better.

If your score is less than 10, it's time to start learning! Use this quiz to help you set some goals.

Start with one or two things that you would like to improve on, such as empathizing,

paraphrasing, or asking good questions. Then, we'll work on setting an action plan, and you'll

be on the road to being a better listener, and a better communicator.

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Active Listening Skills

The problem is that listening and hearing are not the same thing. Most of us were fortunate to

be born with hearing, but listening is a skill that must be learned and practiced in order to use it

successfully. When you hear something, sound enters your eardrum, passes through your ear

canal, and registers in your brain. Listening is what you do with that sound and how you

interpret it.

Here are some tips for successful listening:

o Listen intentionally for people's names.

o Listen with interest.

o Try to get rid of your assumptions.

o Listen for what isn't said.

Listening is hard work. When other people are listening to us, they have the same difficulties

we do in trying to focus on a message. Our minds wander, noises or thoughts distract us, and

we can be thinking about what to do next. Active listening means that we try to understand things from the

speaker's point of view. It

includes letting the speaker know that we are listening and that we have understood what was

said. This is not the same as hearing, which is a physical process, where sound enters the

eardrum and messages are passed to the brain. Active listening can be described as an attitude

that leads to listening for shared understanding.

When we make a decision to listen for total meaning, we listen for the content of what is being

said as well as the attitude behind what is being said. Is the speaker happy, angry, excited,

sad...or something else entirely?

Responding to Feelings

The content (the words spoken) is one thing, but the way that people feel really gives full value

to the message. Responding to the speaker's feelings adds an extra dimension of listening. Are

they disgusted and angry or in

love and excited? Perhaps they are ambivalent! These are all feelings that you can reply to in

your part of the conversation. 45 Reading Cues Really listening means that we

are also very conscious of the

nonverbal aspects of the conversation.

o What are the speaker's facial expressions, hand gestures, and posture telling us?

o Is their voice loud or shaky?

o Are they stressing certain points?

o Are they mumbling or having difficulty finding the words they want to say?

Demonstration Cues

When you are listening to someone, these techniques will show a speaker that you are paying

attention, providing you are genuine in using them. Physical indicators include making eye contact, nodding your

head from time to time, and leaning into the conversation. You can also give verbal cues

or use phrases such as "Uhhuh," "Go on," "Really!" and, "Then what?" You can use questions for

clarification or summarising statements. Examples:

o "Do you mean they were charging R30.00 for just a cup of coffee?"

o "So after you left, got to the shop, and found the right sales

clerk, what happened

then?"

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Tips for Becoming a Better Listener

o Make a decision to listen. Close your mind to clutter and noise and look at the

person speaking with you. Give them your undivided attention.

o Don't interrupt people. Make it a habit to let them finish what they are saying.

Respect that they have thoughts they are processing and speaking about, and wait

to ask questions or make comments until they have finished.

o Keep your eyes focused on the speaker and your ears tuned to their voice. Don't let

your eyes wander around the room, just in case your attention does too.

o Carry a notebook or start a conversation file on your computer. Write down all the

discussions that you have in a day. Capture the subject, who spoke more (were you

listening or doing a lot of the talking?), what you learned in the discussion, as well as

the who, what, when, where, why, and how aspects of it. Once you have conducted

this exercise 810

times, you will be able to see what level your listening skills are

currently at.

o Ask a few questions throughout the conversation. When you ask, people will know

that you are listening to then, and that you are interested in what they have to say.

Your ability to summarize and paraphrase will also demonstrate that you heard

them.

o When you demonstrate good listening skills, they tend to be infectious. If you want

people to communicate well at work, you have to set a high example.

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Nine: Building Your Credibility

Part of having personal impact means that you have some kind of influence on other people.

This means that you need to be credible in what you say and in the things that you do.

In this , you'll learn about building credibility though the development of trusting

relationships.

Defining Credibility

We've probably all worked

with people (including leaders) that we did not respect. No matter

how long we worked with them, and no matter how great our results were, there was

something about them which stopped us from trusting them. This lack of respect leads to

dysfunctional teams, where people are afraid of repercussions. When people work well with

one another, and respect one another, trust is built.

Factors that impact your credibility include small things (like remembering to think of people

and send a thank you note) and big things (like being punctual). Credibility is affected by your

ability to engender trust. It is reinforced when people speak about you in a manner that reflects

the regard they hold you in.

Below are five ways that you can develop trusting relationships.

If you say you'll do it, then get on and do it.

Some people are good at planning and setting things up, but not so good when it comes to the

follow through. At some point, you have to stop talking and start doing. If details are not really

your strong suit, then make sure that you have people you can delegate to so that the things

you say you will do get done. If you break promises, any trust that people have in you will be

swiftly eroded.

If you make a mistake, own it.

We all make mistakes, and it's a way to learn how to improve. Instead of pointing the finger at

someone else (especially members of your team), make sure the blame falls where it belongs –

on you. Leaders and people who want to have impact learn that accepting responsibility for the

good and the bad builds trust and credibility.

Be there for people.

If people feel micromanaged,

they feel that you do not trust them to do their own work. Allow

them to experiment, take risks, and to learn from failure as well as their own choices.

48

Remember to also see what their strengths are and to celebrate when they do things well.

Don't try to take credit when the whole team is contributing to success. As well, make sure that

you are available when they need your support through mentoring and coaching.

Be assertive.

Although this is something that varies culturally and even within industries, you've got to be

prepared to stand up for the things you believe in. You must also develop tools to manage

conflict and to solve problems. If everyone that you work with seems accepting of everything

you do and say, chances are that they are afraid of telling you the truth about how they really

feel. Encourage sharing of

opinions, debate, and discussion as

a way for everyone to learn and

grow.

Be yourself.

Demonstrating your brand and having a personal impact on the things that you do does not

mean that you become someone else in public. Be accepting of who you are (including your

strengths and weaknesses) and commit to ongoing development so that you can be the best

person you can be.

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Ten: Brand You

If it's clear to you what type of impact you want to have, it will become clear to the people that

you work, play, and gather with. If it's not clear to you, there is a risk that you will appear

inconsistent or that you don't know what you want.

In this , you'll consider your personal brand, define what it looks like to you, and

become certain about how you present yourself.

Defining Your Brand

When we refer to your brand, we're thinking about the package that you want to offer to

others. This is a small scale version of a corporate brand, and vastly different from a cattle

brand. Thinking about your personal brand can seem a bit vague, so let's make it something

that is more tangible.

When a company considers their brand, they do so in terms of standards. Their logo will be

created, and with that will be rules (standards) about how the logo is placed on a page,

whether it can be reproduced in black and white or must always be in color, what uniforms

staff need to wear, how the business itself will be presented, and so on.

Your brand is not the same as a corporate brand, but it has some similar elements. Your brand

is a reflection of the story that you want to tell about yourself and how you wish for others to

see you. Over time, as you evolve as a human being (and as you age), your story changes. You

finish some things, you start others, and things that are important at one stage of your life may

lose importance over time. Your goals will also change over time.

If you think of what you want said of you in the public, those things would be a good

representation of your brand, wouldn't they? The best exercise for this is to think about what

will be said about you when you can no longer speak for yourself, when you have passed away

and someone is writing a eulogy in tribute to you or writing an obituary.

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Designing My Brand

Selfexercise

Consider what your brand is all about. Complete the worksheet on the following pages to

help you.

Details

Name

Current Age

Direction

To become the person I want to be I will:

I conduct my life centered on the values of:

I respect characteristics that I see in others, such as:

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Presentation

Mode of dress when out in public (casual, business casual, snappy dresser, etc.), including

specific or signature items that you wear:

My favorite colou(s) to wear, decorate my home, my vehicle(s):

My hair usually gets styled like this:

My makeup, eyewear, and accessories (if worn) look like this:

The gadgets I have and use regularly are... (Are you someone who likes brand new, or do you

wait until the bugs are worked out of things and purchase them later?)

These are my current hobbies, including ones I want to cultivate:

Things still on my bucket list (the things I want to do before I can't do them):

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Accomplishments

These are my greatest accomplishments. (Indicate whether they are already finished, yet to

be started, or in progress.)

The Top Five

My last two bosses would use these five words to describe me:

My best friend would use these five words to describe me:

My partner, children, or siblings would use these five words to describe me:

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Are the five words consistent in all the descriptions here? If so, congratulations! It seems like

you are consistent in the way that you present yourself. If not, what can you do about it?

What are you doing to make those elements part of your life every week?

Ready, Set, Draw!

Create a logo or selfportrait

that represents your personal brand.

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Eleven: Living Your Brand

If your brand is changing, or is something that you had not defined yet, you will find it helpful to

make some decisions about how you will present yourself to the community.

In this , you'll set up a plan for how you wish to present yourself and prepare to make

some significant changes.

Getting Started

If you are going to make a transition to always demonstrating your brand, you could do it in a

few different ways. You could:

o Start fresh and simply start behaving as you have identified in your brand

description.

o Book an official launch and celebrate the new you publicly.

o Set up a marketing plan to purposely promote your brand. This could be something

like a launch, or it might be a branded approach to a job search

plan and embarking

on the next stage of your career.

Most likely, and quite simply, you could make a gradual transition where you gradually adopt

the things that are reasonable to you and fit within your goals, without a big announcement.

What is important is to start, and then to keep going despite setbacks or frustration.

When people notice success, they are inclined to make statements like, "Wow, that person is so

lucky to have those things/that life/that job." And yet the reality is that to get where they are,

this person has made mistakes, faced failure, and tried yet again to reach success.

In order to be successful, and get what it is that you want, you are going to have to make some

changes. Success will come when you incorporate successful activities that move you toward

your goals. We hear frequently that people do not have time to do more. They do not have

time to exercise, go out with friends, prepare healthy food, or be with their families. If that's

the case for you, it's time to evaluate the things that you are doing. You have to make

adjustments in order to be able to take the action that is necessary to change your life.

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Tips for getting started

Identify the low value tasks in

your routine. Watching television is a low value task: sure it is

entertaining, and we all want some entertainment, but you actually get little to nothing out of

it. It can be replaced with high value tasks that give you some kind of real return. Surfing the

Internet aimlessly is another low value task.

Calculate the amount of time that you spend on low value tasks each week. Assess whether

those tasks are moving you toward your goals. (Since they are low value, they probably won't

be doing much for your goal achievement.) Over a two week period, replace 80% of the time

you are spending on low value tasks with high value tasks. That still gives you some time for

doing nothing, but now you are focusing on things that need doing.

Review the habits of successful people and learn from them. You don't need to become the

next Anton Rupert, Donald Trump, or Oprah Winfrey: you need to be yourself, at your best.

Many successful people have written books (or had someone write their book) about how

they've achieved what they have. Have a look at them and see what you can apply in your own

life.

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Twelve: Managing Your Social Media Presence

Social media is here to stay, but we can manage it rather than having it take over our lives. Do

you know all of the places where your name or image appears on the Internet? Have you put it

there? Does it really represent your brand?

In this , you'll consider some of the places that you have a presence and what you wish

to do about it.

Understanding Social Media

You need to develop a curiosity about how people see you online and what is said about you.

This can be managed by putting your own name in search engines and by taking good care of

popular social networking sites such as LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter.

Learn to set up automatic searches for your name (such as through a Google Alert), so that you

will receive an email

that lets you know your name has been mentioned online. Make sure that

pictures, comments, email

signatures, and articles that are about you support your brand. If

they do not support your brand, make sure you have them removed so that they don't detract

from the impact you are aiming for.

When your presence in person and online is well managed, you have the opportunity to exert

influence without anyone observing that you are being incongruent with your brand. This

means that you can have the impact that you desire, without concern that something from your

past might come forward to derail your efforts.

Social media is an evolving and influential medium for sharing information. If you say something

that someone notices, and they click on a "share" button, your message can be spread

throughout an increasing number of sites that include blogs, wikis, forums, podcasts, photo

sites, and bookmarks. Social media has been created specifically to share information among

networks, and its popularity continues to grow. Leveraging social media is an incredible way for

a single message to be spread, but the downside is that a message that you later want to recant

can be very hard to get rid of.

This means that if you make comments about somebody that you dislike, a company that you

want to complain about, a book that struck a nerve, or an opinion about something going on in

politics, you've got to keep in mind that those comments can be tracked back to you. You must

be mindful about what you place online.

When it comes to getting a promotion, applying for a new job, or trying to secure a contract,

Human Resources departments and your contacts regularly search the Internet to see what is

there. In order to maintain the integrity of your brand, you need to do the same. Search for

your name (and all variations of it, including images) in several different search engines and see

57

what appears. Do these messages support your brand? Do they tarnish your image in any way?

Make sure that anything that does not represent who you are is properly removed.

In order to manage your presence on social media, we recommend that you reserve your name

on any social networking site that you come across so that other people cannot pretend to be

you. Then, create a consistent message (your brand) across all sites that you use. Don't think

that you have to be active on every site, because you don't. Spend as little time as you can on

just a couple of sites, and save the rest of your time for achieving your goals.

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Thirteen:

Having Influence

There are different ways that you can extend influence to others. Do you have a good

understanding of who listens to you now and what their reasons are for doing so? Do you

extend your influence intentionally?

In this , you'll learn about different types of influence that you can offer, including

persuasion, negotiation, and

saying no. Persuasion Techniques If you want to be someone who

is known for being a clear communicator, watch out for words like these:

o I'll try

o Ought to

o Should have

o Must

o Always

o Never If you are tempted to insert these

words into your conversations, replace them with clearer

terms. Instead of "I'll try to get back to you later," say "I'll call you back by 4:00 today" (and

then make sure that you do!).

There are different levels of influence that you can exert and different approaches that you can

take. Depending on the situation, you may wish to persuade or you may have to move onto

negotiation techniques.

Persuasion

Expecting the best and knowing when to stop talking are probably two of the most important

elements of persuading others. If we can't convince ourselves of something, it will be very

difficult for us to persuade others.

Have you ever known another person who talked so much that other people stopped listening?

These individuals overwhelm their listeners with conversation until the listener becomes confused, bored, or both.

59

Mark Twain used to tell the following story that bears out that point:

"I was attending a meeting where a missionary had been invited to speak. I was deeply

impressed. The preacher's voice was beautiful. He told us about the sufferings of the natives

and he pleaded for help with such moving simplicity that I mentally doubled the 50 cents I was

about to put in the plate.

"He described the pitiful misery of these poor people and I raised the amount again. As he

continued, I felt that all the cash I carried on me would be insufficient, so I decided to write a

large check.

"Then he went on. That preacher went on and on about the dreadful state of these poor

natives and I abandoned the idea of a check. And still he went on. And I got back to a dollar,

and then 50 cents. And still he went on. And when the plate finally came round...I took 10 cents

out of it!"

The lesson: balance enthusiasm with control.

Ten Ways to Persuade

1. Demonstrate your expertise and knowledge without becoming patronizing.

2. Make sure integrity is reflected in your standards, values, and behaviour.

3. Know when to be silent.

4. Create an obligation for one or both parties.

5. Proceed a bit at a time, from inconsequential points into major areas.

6. Never corner people. Leave them a way out.

7. Give sincere compliments.

8. Be childlike: open and transparent. Expand your center of interests to include others and

explore the talents of others.

9. Remember names.

10. Remember: difficult people

don't play by the same rules.

(Adapted from the Secrets of Power Persuasion by Roger Dawson)

60 Negotiation Techniques The essence of negotiating is

that in order to get what we want, sometimes we have to give

something up. We can negotiate on price (you give me more value and I will give you more

money) or principles. Argue Based on Principle instead of Positions

You've probably heard that expression that someone is "digging their heels in," meaning that

they are so focused on what they want (and their position) that they have lost sight of the topic

being argued and the principle.

If you are negotiating, try not to defend a position; otherwise you simply become more

attached to it and will defend it even harder. You'll try to save face and lose your commitment

to the real problem.

Arguing Chips Away at Relationships

Since a negotiation is a form of conversation, the idea is to have successful negotiations that

contribute to more conversations. Be careful that your approach to negotiating does lead to a

battle of wills. Each of you can clearly state what you are willing to do or not do, and then work

through the problem rather than deteriorating to personal attacks and

bravado.

The Softer Side

Sometimes people who resist conflict or who understand the high price that can be exacted for

hard bargaining try to soften the edge by being friendlier in their approach. They get focused on

the relationship and on reaching an agreement rather than simply pushing their own agenda.

This is an example of soft negotiation where we extend trust to

the other side, make offers and concessions, and do what we

can to avoid confrontation. Principled Negotiation Works Instead of having to choose

whether to stick to your position, or to use a soft or hard positional

approach, we recommend that you apply principled negotiation. This approach is neither soft

nor hard, and works in almost any negotiation by applying four simple strategies.

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Each point deals with a basic element of negotiation and suggests what you should do about it.

o People: Focus on the problem, not the people.

o Interests: Be concerned with interests of both parties, not digging in your heels.

o Options: Think of different solutions and possibilities instead of starting out from

where you want to end up.

o Standard: Make sure that results are based on an actual

standard, instead of

something subjective.

Focus on the Problem, Not the People

We often make the comment that we have to focus on behaviours, not people. Take this

concept seriously. Don't get angry: get clear about behaviours that need to change.

Negotiators are People First

When it comes to negotiations, we are dealing with human beings. And when people get

passionate about something, it is a good reminder for us to see that they have emotions,

convictions, different paradigms, and they can be unpredictable.

When things get heated, which they will at times, remember that your emotions and hot

buttons are also involved. Ask yourself if you are paying attention to the people, or are getting

distracted by positions.

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Expressing Your No

Once you understand what someone is asking of you and decide you want to say no, choose the

kind of no that best suits the person and situation. Here are some general rules to follow.

Say no firmly and calmly, without saying, "I'm sorry," which weakens your position.

Say no, followed by a straightforward explanation of what you are feeling or what you

are willing to do.

o "I'm uncomfortable doing that."

o "I'm not willing to do that."

o "I don't want to do that."

o "I don't like to do that."

Say no, and then give a choice or alternative.

o "I can't help you now, but I will when I get this done, which could be in an hour."

o "I don't have time today, but I could help out the first thing

tomorrow morning."

Say no and then clarify your reasons. This does not include longwinded

statements filled with

excuses, justifications, and rationalisations. It's enough that you do not want to say yes. Your

clarification is given to provide the receiver more information so that he or she can better

understand your position.

Use your natural no. You may have developed your own style of saying no based on your past

experience and personality. If so, use it.

Make an empathetic listening statement and then say no. You may paraphrase the content and

feeling of the request, and then state your no.

Example: "I can see that it is important to you that one of my assistants gets your report done.

I'd like to have someone do it, but my staff is already overburdened with high priority tasks to

be completed by the end of the day."

Say yes, and then give your reasons for not doing it or your alternative solution. This approach

is very interesting. You may want to use it in situations when you are willing to meet the

request, but not at the time or in the way the other person wants it.

o "Yes, I would be willing to help you out, but I won't have time until this afternoon."

o "Yes, I'd be willing to go

along with your second alternative,

but not the third one

you suggested."

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The Persistent Response

You can also use the persistent response. This method of saying no entails using a onesentence

refusal statement and persistently repeating it as often as necessary, no matter what the

person says. This technique is useful when dealing with very aggressive or manipulative people

who won't take no for an answer. The persistent response can be effective in maintaining your

refusal while continuing to be in charge of your emotions.

Because this way of saying no is unusual and a bit complex, we will provide some detailed

guidelines for applying it.

First, select a concise, onesentence

statement and repeat it no matter what the other person

says or does. Examples:

o "I understand how you feel, but I'm not willing..."

o "I'm not interested..."

o "I don't want to..."'

o "I'm uncomfortable doing that, so I don't want to..."

o "You might be right, but I'm not interested."

After each statement by the other person, say your persistent response sentence. It's important

that you don't get sidetracked by responding to any other issue the other person brings up.

Guidelines for Saying No

Say your statement firmly, calmly, and as unemotionally as possible.

Be aware of your nonverbal behaviour, making sure you don't come across passively or

aggressively. Use plenty of silence to your advantage. Your silence will project the message that

the other's statements and manipulation are futile.

Be persistent. Simply state your response one more time than the other person makes his or

her request, question, or statement. If the other person makes six statements, you make seven.

If the other person makes three statements, you make four. Most often, the other person will

feel ill at ease and stop after three or four statements. Other times, your response will move

the other person to offer options you are willing to go along with.

64

Fourteen: Dealing with Challenging People

No matter where we are or how we conduct ourselves, we will encounter challenging people. If

they are being very difficult, you'll notice that they don't necessarily play by the same rules that

the rest of us do.

In this , you'll learn to get to the root of the problem. We will also consider ways to

speak about and deal with challenging people in your life.

Getting to the Heart of the Problem

If you think of the assessment you completed in Three, you classified yourself on a

scale of assertiveness and emotionality. Dealing with challenging people (or difficult people,

depending on how you define things), can be scary if you are a conflict avoider, but we are

going to run into challenging people throughout our lives, so it's best to have a great set of

tools to manage these issues.

For example, you might be a supervisor who had to speak with an employee about some

unacceptable behaviour. Perhaps they are always late for work, even though they are supposed

to be answering the phones at 8:00 a.m. You've spoken with the employee a couple of times,

and this led to improved punctuality for a few days before he slipped back to being late again.

You have even spoken to your human resources consultant about suspending the employee,

but they think that suspension is too harsh a punishment, despite your thorough recordkeeping

that shows how often and how bad this behaviour is. You've been braver than plenty

of workplace leaders because you have discussed the problem

with the employee and with HR. But somehow, the behaviour continues, and you get a sense

that you are not doing enough.

What's Missing?

You aren't getting to the heart of the problem. It's not enough to tell the individual that they

are breaking the rules, or that a colleague has to cover their tasks when they are late. If it were

enough, the behaviour would stop.

Ask yourself what is really bothering you to get at what is really bothering them. Often the

behaviour touches a nerve that is much more personal. For example, if you hired the

receptionist because he was the son of a friend, and you felt that he was taking advantage of

your relationship with him and his parents by not caring about the schedule, that's at a much

deeper level than just the rules that are being broken.

65

If the person is perpetually late because they do not set their alarm (and get up to it) because

they really do not care about their job, or they feel underutilised, or they are being bullied by a

coworker

and cannot drag themselves into the office, then we are getting at the root of the

real problem.

If you are content to only deal with the surface issues, and you are afraid to dig and get at the

deeper issues, you will not be a part of improving the situation. You simply scrape the moss off

of the surface, only to have it to grow back later.

The ability to peel an infraction back to its core takes patience and precision. Sometimes we

don't do this because it can take time to uncover the real problem. We can often find ourselves

in too much of a hurry to do this properly. At other times, our emotions get involved and we

make a decision that we really don't want to go there because we'll also have to deal with what

is bothering us.

If you don't stop to think about the big picture, you'll end up either missing the problem or

going after too many problems at one. To stop yourself from being overinvolved,

you must be

able to state the problem in a single sentence. If you make it

longer, you'll lose focus of the real problem. 66 The Three F's To get to the heart of the

problem, evaluate the 3 F's: facts,

frequency, and frustrated relationship. Facts What are the facts of the issue?

Create a list so that you do not get sidetracked while you plan your conversation. Don't drag in

other stories or unrelated issues that have happened

previously. If you are talking to someone about tardiness, then stick to that and leave things like

poor report writing, gossiping, or not taking care of equipment out of the conversation.

Frequency

Make sure you have a very clear history of the frequency of the issue. In this case, how often is

the individual late? How late are they?

Describe the pattern like this: "This is the second time that I've called this to your attention.

You agreed it would not happen again. Now I am concerned that I cannot trust you to keep a

promise."

Revealing that you notice a pattern brings the history to the forefront. The history is important

because repeated frequency erodes your trust.

Frustrated Relationship

If your real concern is about the relationship, but you only focus on the pattern, then you are

not likely to get the change that you are aiming for. You have to discuss what is important to

you in terms of the relationship. Explain that when they repeatedly ignore your expectations to

be on time, they aren't just demonstrating a lack of commitment to the job. They are eroding

your trust in them, your trust in their ability to do their job, and the possibility of being trusted

with assignments in the future. Comments like the following can be helpful:

o I feel like I cannot trust you to get the work done.

o I feel like I am constantly nagging you and I don't like to do that.

o I feel like I can't trust you to

keep the commitments you make. 67 Types of Difficult People Challenging people are the ones

that get themselves sorted into categories, just so we can get

some kind of a handle or strategy for dealing with them.

If you pick up almost any book on the subject, you will find descriptions of these people and

some suggested ways of dealing with them. Today is no exception. In your workbook, you will

see the names of nine types of people. There is space in the workbook for you to develop your

own description of these people, along with strategies for

working effectively with them. The Stubborn One

Description

o Stuck on their position

o Unable or unwilling to see other points of view

Solutions

o Engage them in discussion and debate.

o If you know you are correct, be persistent.

o Provide documentation to help

support your case. The Quiet One

Description

They may be quiet because they are:

o Bored

o Not interested in the subject matter

o Think they know everything

o Nervous

o Shy

o Tired of dealing with the issue

Solutions

o Figure out why they are being quiet.

o Ask them easy questions.

o Give positive feedback when the person responds to your question.

68

The Jester

Description

o Good natured

o Distracted by other issues

Solutions

o Be professional and stay cool.

o If the behaviour is a real problem, address it privately and calmly.

o Find something to agree with.

o Keep the conversation

moving. The Senseless Talker

Description

o Talks about other problems

o Can't stay on track

Solutions

o Tie what they are saying back to the issue at hand.

o If you can't figure out the connection, ask them how it relates.

o Separate out the issues and

address one thing at a time. Off Base

Description

o Brings up ideas that are wrong

Solutions

o Correct their misconception in private and tactfully.

o Have documentation on hand

to show your point. Bigger Issues

Description

o Some personalities just clash

o Sometimes people are out to cause trouble

Solutions

o Keep the person focused on the task at hand.

o Ask lots of questions and keep

them involved. 69 The Chatterbox

Description

o Talks about personal matters when in a conversation

o Can be distracting and impede progress

Solutions

o Tactfully bring the conversation back to the matter at hand.

o Ask easy questions and involve them in the discussion.

o If it is appropriate (i.e. with a colleague), set boundaries using phrases like, "I'm not

comfortable discussing that at work. Would you like to have coffee later to talk

about it?"

The Know-It-All

Description

They may have this attitude because:

o They are very interested in the topic at hand

o They are an expert in this subject

o They like to hear their own voice

Solutions

o Ask them complex or detailed questions.

o Be prepared! Have documentation ready.

o Have confidence in yourself

and your ability to do your job. The Whiner

Description

They may be complaining because:

o They have a legitimate complaint

o They are innately negative

o This is a pet peeve

Solutions

o Use active listening, empathy, and paraphrasing to ensure that they feel heard.

o Find out what they want from the conversation: a solution, advice, or just to vent (as

examples).

o Encourage them to think of

solutions. 70

Fifteen: Presentations and Meetings

If you want to have an impact and demonstrate your brand, you will probably have to make

presentations and speak up at meetings. The better you get at presenting yourself, the more

likely you will do well in representing your brand.

In this , you'll learn

some tools to prepare you for

meetings and to make presentations

with impact.

Speak up

Public speaking is an opportunity for you to share what you have learned, broaden your

network, and consider how the impact that you want to have can be shared.

Whether you are pitching an idea, managing a crisis, or leading a meeting, effective speaking

skills are critical to building credibility and carrying your message home. Even the most secure

speakers know that they shouldn't wing it. No matter how well you know your product or

service, or the story that you will share, it pays to plan. Think about what's most relevant to

your audience and put their interests first.

The numbers of people who aren't good speakers far outweigh those who are good, so there's

lots of room for those who are just okay at public speaking. However, if you want to move your

presentation from dull to dynamic, you can pump up your presentation in seven easy steps:

1. Talk to yourself. Practice in front of a mirror, trying to look relaxed and friendly. Stand with

your arms in front of your body, with your elbows at 90 degrees and your palms at 45

degrees, leaning forward. That says, "I'm here, I'm engaged, and I am being open with you."

2. Have a point. Decide on your core message ahead of time. Bring the listener quickly to the

point of action by crafting your theme into your introductory passages.

3. Look them in the eye. Making frequent eye contact for a few seconds with listeners in the

audience will create an aura of confidence and familiarity, which will help you get your

message through. This also helps with making an emotional connection.

4. Know the room. Boost your comfort level by checking out your speaking venue in advance.

Practice with the microphone and any visual aids that you plan to use.

5. Crack a smile. Smiling tells the audience you're enthusiastic and confident – just the kind of

person they want to hear. Smiling can also relax you, reduce your heart rate, and help you

breathe easier.

6. Pump up the volume. People need more energy than they think to make a strong

presentation. Use a slightly louder voice than you think you need, and work on your

articulation.

71

7. Don't be a comic. When you tell a joke, you can easily offend other people. Tell a funny

story about yourself instead. And write your own material – nothing damages credibility

more than telling someone else's story and pretending that it is yours.

72 Preparing for Meetings Our weeks are often filled with

meetings. They are an excellent forum for sharing information

and knowing what's going on, if they are managed well. Otherwise, meetings can seem like a

big waste of time. To make the most of your meetings, we have several tips for you.

Before the Meeting

You need to be one of those people who are prepared for meetings when you arrive. This

means arriving on time, reading materials that are supposed to be reviewed beforehand, and

being prepared to participate as opposed to observing.

Questions to ask yourself when preparing for a meeting include:

o What information do you need to take with you?

o What do you want to get out of the meeting? Is there something in particular you

want to get done?

o What contribution do you want to make? Are you just trying to get information?

Do you want to follow up something that was raised at an earlier meeting

and check progress on it? Do you just want to draw attention to something?

Do you want to make sure people are aware of a problem so that it doesn't

happen again?

When previewing reports and information, here are some tips:

o When the reports arrive, scan them quickly to establish the scope and content.

o Write down any initial questions you may have and look for answers in the

subsequent stages.

o Read conclusions, summaries,

and recommendations first, then go back and read the content. (This improves retention of the material.)

o Highlight sections or use sticky notes to make sections you want to refer to.

73 During the Meeting Keep your contributions short. Your point is more likely to be

understood and to have an impact if you keep it reasonably short. Resist the urge to go off

on a tangent.

Don't take so many notes that you lose track of what is going on.

Most meetings are recorded by a minutetaker,

so just write down the things that affect you

(such as things that you are responsible for doing before the next meeting) or things that will

jog your memory when it comes to reporting back to your employees or supervisor.

Avoid interrupting others to make your contribution. Do not let others interrupt you.

In some meetings it is difficult to get your contribution in. If you do have to interrupt, do so

firmly and politely. Once speaking, do not be tempted to make several points for fear of not

getting in again.

Think about your nonverbal

behaviour.

Both the volume and tone of your voice are important here. If you are too quiet you will lose

impact and be open to interruptions. Eye contact is also important. Remember to sit

somewhere that makes it easy to catch the eye of the chair so that you can get your

contribution in. While you are speaking, distribute your eye contact throughout the meeting,

but direct it at those for whom your contribution is most relevant. This enables you to judge

how your contribution is being received.

Time your contributions.

Raise points at the relevant time for the maximum impact. Do not wait until the last minute

before airing an opposing view. If others are on the verge of making a decision, they will be

irritated if you suddenly come up with opposition.

If you are brief and avoid interruptions, you stand a good chance of getting a reaction. If no one

reacts, however, don't be shy about asking the group or an individual for a reaction.

If you are asked to give an opinion on something that has come up unexpectedly, don't feel

pressured into giving an offthecuff

answer if you are not confident that you know your own

strengths. It is perfectly acceptable to ask to be given time to think about it.

74

Leading Meetings

If you are leading meetings, here are five ingredients for managing them effectively:

o Be a leader or member of the meeting committed to resolving issues, not just talking

about them.

o Hold meetings that focus on important issues and guide the group in resolving them.

o Make sure that meeting leaders and members have the skills needed to work

together effectively.

o Establish a means for recording ideas and keeping track of what goes on.

o Arrange a meeting location free of interruption from other activities.

75 Recommended Reading List If you are looking for further

information on this topic, we have

included a recommended reading list below. Berkley, Susan. Speak to

Influence (Second Edition).

Campbell Hall Press, 2004.

Bilanich, Bud, and Lydia Ramsey. Success Tweets For Creating Positive Personal Impact. Front

Row Press, 2011.

Boothman, Nicholas. How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less. Workman Publishing

Company, 2000.

Canfield, Jack, and Janet Switzer. The Success Principles. William Morrow Paperbacks, 2006.

Cialdini, Robert. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. Collins, 2006.

Fisher, Roger, Bruce Patton, and William Ury. Getting to Yes. Penguin, 2011.

Post, Emily, and Peter Post. Emily Post's The Etiquette Advantage in Business. William Morrow,

2005.

Wheeler, Alina. Designing Brand Identity (Third Edition). Wiley and Sons, 2009.

76 Post-Course Assessment

1. The 5 D's of resiliency include developing a positive selfconcept,

developing

relationships, developing vision, and... (Select all that apply.)

a. Developing appreciation

b. Developing acceptance

c. Developing setback prevention strategies

d. Doing things for yourself

s

u

c

e a d

personal brand means that you will have an impact.

5. Networking to expand my personal impact is something that I can do through:

a. Breakfast meeting groups

b. Taking a course

c. Establishing a mastermind group

d. All of the above

6. Listening well and receiving the sender's message:

a. Is easy if you just open your ears

b. Is hard work

c. Takes attention and commitment

7. In order for me build credibility, I have to:

a. Do what I say I will do

b. Take responsibility when I make mistakes

c. Be there for people

d. All of the above

8. In order to decide what kind of impact I want to have:

a. I need to work on my posture

b. I need to explore my goals

and personal brand

c. I need to go on a year long backpacking holiday

d. None of the above

9. In order to achieve the impact I wish to have, it's a good idea to: (Select all that apply.)

a. Remove the low value tasks from my routine

b. Take my partner for dinner and celebrate the launch of the new me

c. Review the habits of successful people

d. Buy the most expensive clothes I can find

10. True or False: I can control what people say about me on social media platforms.

### Chapter Seven

Abigail Van Buren, the writer of Dear Abby, once said, "There are two kinds of people: those

who come into a room with the attitude, 'Here I am!' and those who have the attitude, 'There

you are!'"

This is an exploration about the type of impact we want to have in life and work. We

will consider and define the influence that you can in the workplace. You will also learn skills for

success and how to create those circumstances.

Learning Objectives

At the end of this , you will be able to:

o Speak in terms of the impact and influence that you want to have in life and work

o Understand your personal style in terms of your personal brand

o Develop skill in areas like focus, concentration, and communication to support your

brand

o Build credibility and trust by living your brand

o Take ownership of your image, both online and in person

Why did you take this course? Use this opportunity to consider your personal learning

objectives and reasons for taking this course.

3

Selfexercise

Think of five people that you really admire. (They may come from business or from your

personal life.) Use the space below to write down their name and how you know them (family

member, colleague, former boss, coach, mentor, teacher, etc.). Then write down the

characteristics you most admire about them (or that make them stand out).

Person One

Name:

Relationship to you:

Characteristics that you

admire: Person Two Name:

Relationship to you:

Characteristics that you

admire: Person Three Name:

Relationship to you:

Characteristics that you admire:

4

Person Four

Name:

Relationship to you:

Characteristics that you admire:

Person Five

Name:

Relationship to you:

Characteristics that you admire:

5

Two: Importance of a Personal Brand

Having a personal impact can mean that you are influencing, leading, and leaving a lasting

impression. Have you decided where you want to go and precisely what impression you wish to

create?

In this , you'll review the execise that you completed and start to consider your personal

brand.

What's in a Brand?

Companies brand themselves to

create an image, a recognizable spark that encourages their

target customers to connect with them, remember them, and do business with them. We

create a personal image for the same reason; to build a brand centered on ourselves that leads

people to think of us.

Have you thought about the impact you can be having when you do things? What do you want

people to think of when you network with them, sell to them, consult or help them, or when

you come to them looking for business, a job, or whatever it is that you need? What is it you do

that makes you, or your work, stand out in other people's minds?

Whatever the standout

factor is, it becomes part of your personal brand.

In the first selfexercise,

you were asked to identify five people that you admire and to list the

characteristics you admire about those people.

Why five people? Why not three or seven? We chose five because three doesn't seem like quite

enough, and seven can be too many to focus on at one time. If you've been following the

successful career of Jack Canfield (one of the founders of The Chicken Soup for the Soul series

and author of The Success Principles), he says that we become the average of the five people

that we associate with the most. This means that our income and achievements are similar to

the people that we spend the most time with. It is important to identify role models and

mentors who demonstrate what is possible for us.

Of course, we also have to take positive action in our lives in order to achieve the things we

want!

6

Defining Success

Review the list of characteristics from your selfexercise and answer the following questions.

What do these characteristics contribute to (i.e. overall success or something more specific)?

What makes someone worthy of admiration?

Why do we select the role models and mentors that we do?

While we all define success in a way that means something to us personally, we often look to

others for inspiration and ideas.

Whether success to you means earning recognition; making

money; or achieving education, financial, career, emotional, or other goals, this course will give

you tools you need to take yourself there as a reflection of your personal brand.

7

Your Personal Brand

Thinking of people who have ownership over their personal brand can be a bit challenging.

First, let's look at some corporate brands that we are probably all familiar with, such as:

o McDonald's

o CocaCola

o Nike

o Toyota What is it about these brands that make them memorable?

They have a specific look through their logo which makes us think of their product and qualities

and characteristics that appeal to us, such as value for our money, a quality (or notable lack of quality) in their products, taste,

etc.

Consider some people who have a particular look about them. Who are they? What makes

them memorable?

Here are some ideas:

o Steve Jobs of Apple always wore a black mock turtleneck sweater with blue jeans.

He will be remembered for his innovation, persistence, and his propensity for micromanaging.

o Queen Elizabeth II usually wears a hat and her coats match her outfits. She is noted

for her dedication to her role.

o Prof. Chris Barnard has a style that is very direct. People remember him because he

performed the world's first successful human to human heart transplant.

Brand Elements

Elements of your personal brand include your entire package, such as:

o Body language

o Image (including how you dress, your hair, and accessories)

o Communication skills

o Credibility

o Managing difficult situations

o Social media presence 8 In commercial terms, a brand

is the customer's perception of a product. Organisations build that perception by paying attention to areas such as:

o Product development

o Research and innovation

o Marketing

o Sales

o Return on investment

o Bottom line

o Finances in the black or red

o Community involvement

In reality, though, the brand is the consumer's perception and nothing more. In a similar way,

your personal brand is people's perception about you. People who do business with you have

pretty high expectations about what a particular brand provides them, and they will review all

aspects of you to form their perception.

Having a personal brand doesn't mean that you have to dress in the same uniform every day

(although you might dress in a consistent pattern), or that you are an eccentric individual

(although you may be). It doesn't mean that if you are an introvert you must become

gregarious, and it does not require that the extroverts mask

their feelings or thoughts about things. What does developing a

personal brand mean to you? It means that:

o You are recognisable for your message as an individual.

o You send a consistent message. For example, you are polite and direct.

o You present yourself as professional and well put together when you go out.

o You ensure that your social media presence is positive.

In what ways will developing a personal brand benefit you?

o It will help you build credibility with its consistency.

o It will help you build a network.

o It will help you to be memorable to others.

What will you do with it once you have it developed?

o Keep consistent with it in order to maintain credibility and respect.

o Leverage it to become known in my community and/or industry.

9

Three: Your Brand Approach to Others

Sometimes we need to take a good look at ourselves in order to consider how we convey

ourselves to the wider world around us. A good look also provides us with some language to

work with.

Overview

These results will give you a

good idea of your selfperception:

the way that you look and act in

front of other people, which is the foundation for your personal brand. Keep in mind that while

things can be in sharp contrast on paper, as people we are much more of a blend of all these

types. Depending on how close our scores are, we can flex our behaviour between styles

(within our comfort and ability levels) to suit our purposes.

No one type is any better or worse than the other – they just provide us with a platform to talk

about who we are and how we behave. If you scored within three points of another category,

you may find it quite easy to stretch yourself and behave in the manner of that other category.

If you are farther away, you will find stretching to appeal to people with other tendencies a

little more challenging, but you can learn to get along with all kinds of people.

14 Brand Assessment Matrix Here is a visual representation

of the results of your assessment: Understanding Styles Sometimes our approach needs

to be adjusted in order to present our brand in a way that

other people will resonate with. If, for example, you are pragmatic, you may find that people

who are an accommodating style have the most trouble relating to you. You are more assertive

than they are, and less expressive. They value expression in order to relate to people and have

a need to have people understand one another. They are also less assertive than you, and if you

have a tendency toward aggression, they will often avoid getting to know you.

15

The Pragmatic Style (∆)

The pragmatic style is demonstrated by being highly assertive and lower in expressiveness (the

top left quadrant in the diagram). The pragmatic style is characterised by decisiveness; direct,

quick speech; loud tones; direct eye contact; a bold visual appearance; and a respect for

personal distance. Your personal spaces at work, home, or the gym all denote a powerful

presence. Your handshake is firm.

Strengths include getting to the heart of the matter quickly, being direct, and presenting a

position strongly. Challenges include listening, demonstrating patience, a tendency to argue,

and not taking the advice of others who have more experience or expertise to offer.

The Enthusiastic Style (□)

Enthusiasts express their emotions and are assertive; see the top right quadrant in the diagram.

The enthusiastic style expresses opinions easily and can be very persuasive in their approach.

They use a lot of inflection, expressive tones, and are animated when they speak. They tend to

be active and demonstrate a lot of movement and enthusiasm about everything they do.

Their workspaces are often cluttered and they are comfortable with close physical proximity.

Challenges can include listening and paying attention to details, a tendency to generalize

frequently, and to exaggerate or be overly dramatic.

The Accommodating Style (○)

The accommodating style is characterised by a tendency to low assertiveness and high

expressiveness. This style focuses on relationship integrity. They listen, use supportive

language, and thrive when everyone is working well and without conflict. Their speech is often

at a slow to moderate rate, using soft tones. They demonstrate patience, build trust, and use

supportive language. They do not need to shake hands, although they will if that's what

everyone else is doing. This style prefers to hug.

Their workspace will contain family pictures and sentimental items. Their challenges can include

handling conflict when it does arise, keeping opinions to themselves, and dealing with data and

figures.

16

The Detailed Style (→)

The detailed style is found in the lower left corner of the diagram and is depicted by low levels

of assertiveness and low levels of expressiveness. This style focuses on details, facts, and

figures. They use precise language and avoid bringing emotion into the conversation. They use

little vocal inflection, speak economically, and control their emotions.

They will avoid touching (shaking hands and particularly hugging) if possible, and maintain a

very strong sense of personal space. If there are things hanging in their office, they will be

related to charts and graphs. Their desktop will be tidy and wellorganised.

Challenges can

include being too focused on details and losing sight of the bigger

picture, and not paying attention to people's feelings. 17

Four: Looking at the Outside

Do you have a signature look, or a level of dress that you present when you leave the house?

How do others perceive you, given the way you present yourself?

In this , you'll learn about dressing for success and business etiquette. You will also give

some consideration to the sound of your voice.

Dress for Success

The way you look is what people see first. It is the basis for their opinion about you before you

even have the chance to speak.

What kind of image are you presenting?

No matter what type of work you do, your image needs to support that, not contradict it.

Lately, there has been an acceptance of wearing blue jeans as part of the corporate uniform.

Fridays in particular became "casual day" when all employees could wear blue jeans or casual

wear. In order to protect the corporate brand, staff often contributed a dollar or two to a

charity. Frontline

staff would wear a badge saying that they were dressing down for charity.

This push for casual wear has changed the way many workplaces look today. CEOs dress in suits

and ties in some companies, and in Tshirts

and sandals in others.

No matter what clothing you select to help you create an impact when you enter a room or

meet someone new, there are a few rules. We refer to these as Seven Factors for Success.

Factor One: Iron

Clothing needs to be clean and free of wrinkles. Get rid of that rumpled college or "just rolled

out of bed" look. Learn how to use an iron and use it regularly.

Factor Two: Grab a Needle and Thread

Buttons, zips, and other fasteners need to be properly attached to your clothing to give you a

polished look.

Factor Three: Footwear

People notice what your feet are wearing, too. Your shoes need to be clean and in good

condition. Learn how to apply shoe polish and purchase good quality footwear. You can lessen

your credibility significantly with a nice outfit and a poor looking pair of shoes.

18

Factor Four: Hair

Your hair needs to be clean (even if the style of your mop is a messy one). No one wants to be

around the smell of dirty hair, and some styles really trap smell.

Factor Five: Teeth

Your teeth need to be clean. You don't have to follow the trend of whitening and braces for

adults, but your smile is founded on your teeth, and they need to be well looked after in order

to support your image. Getting your teeth cleaned regularly also helps to keep your breath

fresh.

Factor Six: Dressing Up

Dress for the position that you want and the respect you are after. If everyone around you

wears baggy shorts and skater shoes because you sell skateboards, that's one thing. If you work

in a design company, an art gallery, or a jewelry manufacturer, you will probably dress

differently than members of a law firm. If you want to reinforce your brand and have an impact,

you still need to dress well wherever you are. Look carefully through your wardrobe and select clothes that will serve you.

Factor Seven: Glasses and Accessories

Long time glasses wearers have a gift for being able to look through a pair of smudged or dirty

lenses, but your customers,

colleagues, and manager will notice that layer of grime. Keep a

microfiber cloth handy to keep your glasses clean. Pay attention to watches, cuff links, and

jewelry with the same attention to detail.

19

Business Etiquette

Having good manners doesn't just mean you make a positive impression; they are also good for

business. No matter how formal or informal your personal brand is, people still care about

social skills and manners (even if they don't come out and say so). Rules about which fork to

use for the salad, or not talking with food in your mouth, are examples of good manners.

Etiquette, however, takes the discussion about manners to a higher level.

Emily Post, famous for her approach to etiquette, manners, and ethics, defined etiquette like

this: "Whenever two people come together and their behaviour affects one another, you have

etiquette. Etiquette is not some rigid code of manners; it's simply how persons' lives touch one

another."

When you apply your awareness of etiquette in different situations, you demonstrate that you

want to be taken seriously. You become an ambassador for what you do and who you work

with.

20 How You Sound Do you have a "phone voice?"

This is the voice you always use when you answer the phone;

there can be total chaos around you, but when you pick up the phone and say, "Good

morning," the caller hears calm professionalism.

In contrast is the voice we use on the street or at the market. Some of us have grown up using

what we might call "street language," or language that is commonly spoken with friends

outside of the workplace. In business, however, we want to be clearly understood and so we

apply a veneer or polish to our language. Sometimes a vocal or image coach will teach you to

drop your street language so that it stops creeping into your business conversations and so that

we are more easily understood.

When it comes to how you sound, you have to make a decision based on what's important to

you and the brand you represent. Does your accent create a barrier in some way? If not, there

is no need to change it. But if your accent prevents people from understanding you, or if your

street language is having a negative impact on your brand, then it may be worth doing

something about.

Things to Consider

Here are some things to consider when evaluating your business voice:

o What's your speech like?

o Do you have a position of authority and a very soft speaking voice? Is it helping you?

o Or, do you work with a lot of softspoken people and speak to them in a

booming, direct voice?

o Do people listen to you?

o Do they respect you?

o How is your voice supporting the brand that you wish to project?

21

Five: Looking at the Inside

We've spent some time thinking about how people look at you from the outside. Next, we'll

look at how you can increase your impact by growing some key skills.

In this , you'll learn about developing focus and concentration techniques, which in turn

can help you to increase your

confidence. Developing Focus and

Concentration Getting Focused Sometimes we have so much

going on, it's as though we disrupt our own ability to concentrate and get things done. Whether

you want to be known as a goto person who does it all, or you are someone who gets things

done through others, you must be able to complete projects in order to be credible and build

your brand.

Sadly, some of us seem to look for the easiest way to getting things done. We put in just

enough effort to avoid getting fired, or at least manage to avoid the performance talk with our

boss. Taking the easy way out time and time again is an example of poor behaviour. If you want

to be recognised as someone who gets things done, and who has a positive impact on their

workplace or their own company, you're going to have to work hard.

One way to accomplish a lot more than everyone else seems able to is to apply yourself with

focus and concentration. This means that you clear distractions (from your desk or your mind),

and you get to work.

What are your best techniques for focusing on what's important? Here are some ideas:

o Turn off distractions so that you get your priorities finished.

o Record a phone message that says you are working on a project from 9 a.m. until

noon today and that you will call people back after lunch. (Just make sure that you

do!)

o Turn off your email

notifications, close your door, and get to work.

o If you know your best time of the day to do focused thinking, work with that. If you

are a morning person, or afternoon, or evening, those are the times you want to

reserve to get your best work done. If that doesn't work with the ebb and flow at

your workplace or in your industry, see if you can arrange a few days a week where

you are in control of your schedule. Once they see how much you get done, it's

harder for them to argue!

o If you work in an open area, schedule some time in a meeting room and work in

there so that people do not stop by and distract you.

22

The 80/20 Rule

The 80/20 Rule, or Pareto's law, says that 20% of what is on your to do list will bring 80% of

your results. Make sure you are working on the 20% to make the most of your time. When it

comes to the low value, timeconsuming

tasks, make sure that you delegate them, or take them

off your list completely!

Improving Your Concentration

Concentration is a skill that is learned and can be vastly improved. Many of us work in an

environment of distractions and interruptions like email

notifications, the Internet, stimulants

like coffee or cooldrinks, and meetings. All of these things interfere with our ability to set aside

a solid chunk of time to concentrate and work. The day is so broken up, it seems like there is

only five minutes available at one time to actually get work done. Instead of talking about it, we

must get focused, set up time for uninterrupted work, and then get that work done.

If you feel like you can only concentrate for very short pieces of time, start there. Assign

yourself a task and then work for 45 minutes, giving yourself 15 minutes of each hour to check

email,

grab a coffee, or touch base with your team. After several days of this discipline, start

increasing your time so that are working for 50 minutes, then an hour, and then an hour and

fifteen minutes. You'll be amazed at how much you can accomplish when you buckle down and

really get into it!

23

Developing Confidence

Confidence is not just about how you feel; it affects how you look. When you think about your

brand, and the promotion of it within your career, you need to be confident. Just thinking about

your personal brand and the impact that you can have on your life is a sign of confidence.

Can we project selfconfidence

even when we don't feel selfconfident?

Yes, there are several techniques that you can apply in

order to gain confidence. Pretend You're Confident Imagine yourself to be a

confident person. Get that image in your mind and act it out. Stand up

straight, dress better, and try to play the part. If you visualise yourself as confident and

successful, that will help you to do things confidently and achieve success. When you feel your

confidence slipping, visualise and use positive words to build yourself up.

When Your Positive SelfTalk Doesn't Listen

Sometimes we can be so hard on ourselves that we will actually argue with that voice in our

head and therefore can't get the positive message track to enter our consciousness. One

helpful way of breaking this pattern is to interfere with it. When you catch yourself listening to

negative selftalk,

play music that inspires you and sing or hum along. It is much more difficult

for those negative messages to persist through music. The music can also be the positive

message that you need at that time.

Make Eye Contact

Confident people look people in the eye; people who aren't confident don't, unless it is a

cultural restriction. Don't stare or make people uncomfortable; find that comfortable level of

engaging in eye contact. (In some cultures it can be considered rude to look people directly in

the eye. Make sure that you know your audience.)

Dance

While this one might get you gasping (for confidence and air!), dancing is a great way to build

yourself up. First, we know that the benefits of physical exercise are great, but did you ever

think to let yourself go within a class of other likeminded people who are all learning at the

same time? Often, you can take a class or two before you have to pay the fee. Then you can

decide whether you are more of a salsa, flamenco, or ballroom kind of person.

24

If you don't have a partner, don't worry because lots of times there are other dancers there on

their own. Or, you can take a class in line dancing. Whichever you decide, dance (or even yoga

or guitar lessons) will force you to focus on something that you can enjoy.

Be sure of your facts

Your confidence can't be all a front. While you are looking people directly in the eyes, standing

straight, and otherwise acting as if the world were your oyster, you also have to know what you

are doing. If you are prepared and sure of your facts, you've got a better chance of projecting

confidence.

Rehearse

Rehearsing can be as simple as writing out a speech or your intended conversation with

someone and practicing it in front of the mirror. For example, you could do a roleplay

with a

trusted friend or colleague as the interviewer before you interview for a new position. To tackle

your underlying fear of failure, include imagery with your rehearsal: imagine yourself

succeeding.

Pep Talks Work

Rather than dwell on the things that didn't work or the things that didn't go well, focus on what

you did accomplish. Give yourself a mental pep talk at the beginning or the end of every day.

Remind yourself that you have done some things well.

Read Inspiring Biographies and Autobiographies

Build a file of stories that inspire you most. Remember that our capacity far exceeds our usual

level of performance. Accept the fact you will have ups and downs just like everyone else.

Experiencing them through reading will help reinforce that concept.

Be Thankful

No matter how bad your circumstances, there is probably somebody worse off than you. As

well, build excellent support around you. There are a lot of tremendous people out there to

spend your valuable time with. However, relationships are fragile. You must be prepared to

devote some time to them.

25

Push Yourself to Accomplish Short-Term Goals

There is no greater way to build confidence than to get things done. Push yourself to get at

least three things accomplished each week that move you closer to your goals. Develop a habit

of getting things done and being productive.

Do Something for Yourself Every Week

You deserve it. Find a way to celebrate what you have accomplished or overcome. Give yourself

some kind of tangible reward for your efforts.

26

Confidence Builder

Four Steps for Success

One of the tools that we can use in building confidence is a process to help us communicate

effectively and with assertiveness. This tool involves a four step process based on ThinkActFeelI

Need. 27 Framework The four steps can be framed as

follows. Make sure that when you are referring to someone's behaviour that you talk about the behaviour and not the person.

1. When I witness __________ or When you _______________

State what you are seeing without making a judgment. Be a videographer and only state what

you can see or hear.

2. The effect (the consequence to me) is

This is your reaction.

3. I feel __________

This is your feelings on the matter. There could be range of adjectives here including

disrespected, unsupported, upset, angry, etc.

4. I would like __________

What you need or want from the other person to resolve the issue.

Example

When you point your finger at me and yell, I don't want to be around you or work with you. I

feel disrespected. I would like to discuss things with you in a calm, nonthreatening

manner.

28

Six: Setting Goals

In order to get where you are going, you need to know where you want to go! Having a welldefined

plan will help you identify the tasks that will move you forward towards your

destination.

In this , you will start to think about what you really want from your brand and what

kind of impact you want to make. You will learn about the SPIRIT acronym (which can help you

define your goals) and some ways to develop flexibility and resiliency.

What Do You Want?

If you really don't know what you want, it's hard to represent your brand and have the impact

that you want. Many times, people are looking for the easiest route they can find. As an

example, they ask for money in the belief that if we have all the money we could possibly want,

everything else would be ours for the taking. However, we all know that isn't exactly how it

works. Money doesn't buy happiness, although it does make the search a little easier.

One of life's fundamental truths is, "Ask and you shall receive." Kids can ask for what they want,

whether it's an ice cream cone or a new toy. As adults, we seem to lose our ability to ask for

what we want, and we can really struggle when it comes to asking for or accepting help.

Remember, the world responds to those who ask! There are many different asking strategies.

We can create abundance in our lives just by mastering the art of asking assertively.

There are three reasons why we don't ask for what we want.

o We believe that it's not right to ask.

o We lack confidence.

o We fear rejection.

Some people don't enjoy the rewards of asking because they don't ask effectively. Here are five

ways to ensure that you get results when you ask.

Ask Clearly

Be precise. Think about your request. Take time to prepare; maybe even write out what you

want and practice. Words are

powerful so choose them carefully. 29 Ask With Confidence

You are more apt to get what you want if you speak up and sound confident, rather than

hesitant and unsure of yourself. The worst that can happen is that you will be denied, but it

probably won't put you in a worse situation than before. If this route is closed, look for another.

Ask Creatively

What can you do to make sure you make an impact and to make certain your request doesn't

get lost in the crowd? How could you make your request stand out? How can you make your

request fun? Schedule some time every month to dream up new and different ways to ask for

what you want.

Ask Sincerely

When you really want help,

people will respond. Be willing to be vulnerable. Tell it the way it is,

lumps and all. Don't worry if your presentation isn't perfect; ask from your heart.

Help Others

We live in a world of reciprocal relationships and energy. When you give, you get. When you

are ready to lend someone a hand, do so. The more you can help others, the more likely that

someone will be available to help you when you need it. Be giving of your time, and accepting

of theirs.

30

Go For It!

Selftest

questions –

Think of something that you truly want from others or something that you could use help

with.

How can you start the ball rolling by asking today?

What techniques might you use?

31

Identifying Dreams and Setting Goals

Part of the reason people struggle with where they want to go in life is that their goals are

vague and ill defined. "More confidence" and "more money" sound really good, but unless we

get really clear about what they mean, we may never reach those goals.

Identifying Your Dreams

It is important to give some thought to what we want and how we are going to get there. Right

now we're going to take some time to think about our own hopes and dreams. From that, we

will set some concrete goals.

What area(s) of life do you want to set goals in? Some ideas:

o Career (responsibilities or a specific position, or maybe even your own business)

o Income

o Relationships (marriage, children, family, friends, colleagues, customers)

o Things to learn

o Hobbies to take up

o Volunteer activities or charities to support

o Recreational activities

o Home, vehicles, or other possessions to purchase

o Places to travel to

o Spiritual

o Health (examples: lose 20 pounds, exercise more frequently)

o Educational

o Behaviours and habits to develop or change

Now, clearly some of these are achievable in the short term while others will take longer. Some

will obviously take more work than others.

32 SPIRIT If the goal is quite large, it

needs to be broken down into several small, achievable goals that

will help you get where you want to go. Good goals should have SPIRIT!

Specific

Be specific about what you want or don't want to achieve. The result should be tangible and

measurable. "Talk to people" is pretty ambiguous; "Talk with two of

my coworkers each day" is specific.

Prizes

Reward yourself at different points in the goal, particularly if it's longterm.

If your goal is to set

up a meeting with a new colleague, for example, you might purchase a special treat for yourself

afterward.

Individual

The goal must be something that you want to do. If your spouse wants you to lose 10 kilograms

but you think you look fine, you're not going to want to work towards the goal.

Review

Review your progress periodically. Does the goal still make sense to you? Is it still giving you

energy and something you find motivating? Are you stuck? Do you need to adjust certain parts

of it?

Inspiring

Frame the goal positively. Make it fun to accomplish. You could make a poster of the end result,

frame it, and post it on the wall.

TimeBound

Give yourself a deadline for achieving the goal. Even better, split the goal into small parts and

give yourself a deadline for each item.

33

Getting Some SPIRIT

Use the worksheets on the following pages to set a goal related to developing your personal

brand or improving your personal impact. Selfexercise

Goal Statement One

Check to make sure you have

included each of these elements. Specific Prizes Individual Review Inspiring Who will you check in with? When are your checkin dates? What should be

accomplished by each one? Date Task

34

Goal Statement Two

Check to make sure you have

included each of these elements. Specific Prizes Individual Review Inspiring

Who will you check in with?

When are your checkin

dates? What should be accomplished by each one?

Date Task

35

Being Flexible and Resilient

When you are setting up big goals (which can include this shift you are making in having

personal impact and creating your personal brand), there's a very good chance you will hit

some setbacks. People you thought would be supportive may not be. You may let your guard

down and have your brand tarnished. Your ability to bounce back after these setbacks is

essential in reaching your goals. Being able to apply some flexibility and resilience is a way to

measure how successful – and happy – you are.

Some people may appear to be more resilient than others. While this ability may be innate for

some, a lot of the behaviours are learned. The evidence of learning means that we can all

develop traits of resilience and flexibility. We have organised our top five tips as the 5 D's.

Develop a Positive SelfConcept

Resilient people know that they are worth it and they see themselves in a positive way. A

positive selfconcept

does not mean you have to behave like someone who is selfcentered

or

selfish. It does mean that you

perceive yourself in a positive way. Develop Relationships Resilient people tend to give to

and be a part of strong networks. Friends, family, business

partnerships, and colleagues are all a source of support when things are not going well.

Accountability partners can help

get things back on track. Develop Appreciation Focusing on things that are

going well helps bring more good things into view. This will help you

to regain a positive mindset if you have let go of it. It also helps you to deal with challenges

more effectively than if you are focusing on what's going wrong.

Develop Acceptance

No matter how positive, flexible, and resilient you are, there are things that cannot be changed.

Resilient people accept these things, instead of spending precious energy fighting things that

cannot be altered.

36 Develop Vision When you look at your life, your

goals, and your business from a distance, problems and

setbacks seem less important than when they are close up. Develop your vision and then focus

on the ability to call it up whenever you wish. 37

Seven: Networking for Success

If you were to write a list of names of people that you know directly, how many people could

you list? Of those people, if you needed all of them to show up and help you with something,

how many would show up?

In this , you'll learn some techniques to help you build your network and make the most

of those connections that you have.

Getting Out There

Networking is an effective way for you to build your brand. However, building a network can be

a difficult thing for a lot of people. If you are inhibited at all, the idea of introducing yourself to

people can be daunting. If you are outgoing, people may have the impression you just want to

meet them to further your career or grow your business. The real purpose of networking,

however, is that you bring something to the group that is helpful to them (not you specifically)

without expecting something directly in return.

For example, if you know someone who needs their house painted, and you know a painter,

you could introduce the two. You do not gain directly from the referral, except that now it's

possible that the person you refer and the painter will both think

of you when they have a need

or a referral for you.

There are plenty of networking groups available to help you get out into your community and

to get known. Building a network takes time and patience. If you are hoping to get business or

recognition from a group, expect it to take a year or more. Your results will depend on how

involved you are.

Here are some excellent tips to try as you start to build or expand upon your network:

o If you are a strong writer or teacher, you can write for a variety of media (such as

local news, websites, and blogs). Just make sure your work is getting read and that

it's work you are proud of.

o If you enjoy presentations, then volunteer to sit on a panel or start looking for paid

s and conference presentations.

o Get away from time wasters, such as water cooler gossip, or people who socialize

excessively at work and are not getting things done. You don't want to be associated

with these people because they will not be a good reflection of your brand.

o Spend time with mentors and coaches in the workplace that you can learn from,

even if it's just while sharing a meal or break together now and again.

38

Think about some networking strategies that might work in your area. Here are some ideas:

o Breakfast meeting groups

o Mastermind groups

o Association membership meetings, workshops, and conferences

o Industry meetings, workshops, conventions, and conferences

o Religious groups

o Members of a class you are

taking online or in person

o Online groups (forums)

o Crossfunctional

teams at work

o Volunteering just about anywhere

o Volunteering as a board member

o Volunteering to assist with

fundraisers 39

Eight: Communication Strategies

We communicate all the time, whether we are speaking, observing, or listening.

Communicating well is not a simple undertaking. Most of us can learn some new techniques to

communicate better.

In this , you'll learn some techniques for communicating well. As you work through the

, consider how you can communicate better to improve your personal impact.

What is Said and What is Heard

Some people seem to be naturally good communicators, while others have to work at it.

Communication skills are not related to how bright we are, either; people can be gifted in their

subject matter, but struggle with communicating what they know or to connect with people.

What we say isn't always what the other person hears. Our message goes through a

complicated system of filters and outside influences before it reaches the recipient. We must

always clarify that the person has received the message that we intended to send.

40

Communication Situations

What would you do if you were trying to talk to someone...

In a noisy workplace?

And there were a lot of visual distractions?

And you felt really tired?

And they had a very strong accent?

And they were speaking too fast for you to understand, or too slowly or softly?

And they kept using jargon or terms you didn't understand?

And they appeared to be very stressed?

And they were using emotionally charged words or statements?

And they were verbally attacking you?

Here are some suggestions:

In a noisy workplace

Move to a quieter location, such as a meeting room with a door you can close.

Visual distractions

Move to a less distracting environment. Turn your back to your computer screen, or have a

conversation corner in your office that is away from your computer or where a television

screen won't catch your eye. You felt really tired Admit that you aren't feeling

your best and are too tired to focus.

Reschedule the conversation if possible. They had a very strong accent Admit that you are having

trouble with hearing what they say. Respectfully ask them to slow down or help you in some other way, so that you can understand

them.

They were speaking too fast for you to understand, or too slowly or softly

Admit that you are having trouble following them because they are speaking so quickly (or

slowly or softly). Respectfully ask them to change the pace.

They kept using jargon words or terms you didn't understand

Politely interrupt. Let them know you are not familiar with a term or expression and ask them

to explain.

They appeared to be very stressed

Mention their behaviour, and that you have noticed it. Ask how you can help.

41

They were using emotionally charged words or statements

Mention the behaviour. Use your skills at conflict resolution or difficult conversations to

depersonalise the conversation and deescalate

the situation.

They were verbally attacking you

Call the behaviour for what it is. You can stop the conversation and walk away if people

continue the barrage.

How Do You Rate Your Listening Ability?

One reason listening is so important is that we do so much of it every day. We often say that

good communicators spend far more of their time listening than they do talking. Fortunately,

listening is a skill that we can develop. In an age when we are inundated with media messages

and portable devices, we can choose to listen more than many people seem to be.

42

Listening Assessment

Answer the questions on the test below. Don't answer the questions too quickly; it is easy to

confuse what you know is right from what you actually do.

Question Yes No Points

1. Do you enjoy listening?

2. Is it easy for you to listen with interest to a large variety of subjects?

3. Do your friends seek you out to discuss a problem or decision when

they need help?

4. Does your attention usually

stray toward other groups or people entering or leaving the room?

5. Do you interrupt?

6. Are you more apt to be

thinking ahead to what you will say next rather

than weighing what you are being told?

7. Do you stop listening to everything when you strongly disagree with

the speaker on one point?

8. Do you assume or anticipate regarding the other person's views?

9. Do you feel you can judge most people quite quickly before hearing

them out?

10. Do you generalise (All old people think... all redheads... all college

kids...)?

11. Do you encourage others to

elaborate or clarify points you have misunderstood?

12. Do you listen to what is not

said, such as the obvious omission? GRAND TOTAL 43 Scoring

o Give yourself 2 points if you answered "Yes" for question 1. You

enjoy listening as much as you enjoy talking.

o Give yourself 2 points if you answered "No" to questions 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10.

o Give yourself 2 points if you answered "Yes" to questions 2, 3, 11, and 12.

Your score: ___________

Interpretation

If your score is 20 or more,

you've already developed some strong communication skills. You have the ability to listen to

people, understand what they are saying, and communicate your

understanding back to them. Use your listening and communication skills to help others.

If your score is between 10 and 18, you're within the average range. Use this quiz to help you

identify where you're doing well and where you would like to do better.

If your score is less than 10, it's time to start learning! Use this quiz to help you set some goals.

Start with one or two things that you would like to improve on, such as empathizing,

paraphrasing, or asking good questions. Then, we'll work on setting an action plan, and you'll

be on the road to being a better listener, and a better communicator.

44

Active Listening Skills

The problem is that listening and hearing are not the same thing. Most of us were fortunate to

be born with hearing, but listening is a skill that must be learned and practiced in order to use it

successfully. When you hear something, sound enters your eardrum, passes through your ear

canal, and registers in your brain. Listening is what you do with that sound and how you

interpret it.

Here are some tips for successful listening:

o Listen intentionally for people's names.

o Listen with interest.

o Try to get rid of your assumptions.

o Listen for what isn't said.

Listening is hard work. When other people are listening to us, they have the same difficulties

we do in trying to focus on a message. Our minds wander, noises or thoughts distract us, and

we can be thinking about what to do next. Active listening means that we try to understand things from the

speaker's point of view. It

includes letting the speaker know that we are listening and that we have understood what was

said. This is not the same as hearing, which is a physical process, where sound enters the

eardrum and messages are passed to the brain. Active listening can be described as an attitude

that leads to listening for shared understanding.

When we make a decision to listen for total meaning, we listen for the content of what is being

said as well as the attitude behind what is being said. Is the speaker happy, angry, excited,

sad...or something else entirely?

Responding to Feelings

The content (the words spoken) is one thing, but the way that people feel really gives full value

to the message. Responding to the speaker's feelings adds an extra dimension of listening. Are

they disgusted and angry or in

love and excited? Perhaps they are ambivalent! These are all feelings that you can reply to in

your part of the conversation. 45 Reading Cues Really listening means that we

are also very conscious of the

nonverbal aspects of the conversation.

o What are the speaker's facial expressions, hand gestures, and posture telling us?

o Is their voice loud or shaky?

o Are they stressing certain points?

o Are they mumbling or having difficulty finding the words they want to say?

Demonstration Cues

When you are listening to someone, these techniques will show a speaker that you are paying

attention, providing you are genuine in using them. Physical indicators include making eye contact, nodding your

head from time to time, and leaning into the conversation. You can also give verbal cues

or use phrases such as "Uhhuh," "Go on," "Really!" and, "Then what?" You can use questions for

clarification or summarising statements. Examples:

o "Do you mean they were charging R30.00 for just a cup of coffee?"

o "So after you left, got to the shop, and found the right sales

clerk, what happened

then?"

46

Tips for Becoming a Better Listener

o Make a decision to listen. Close your mind to clutter and noise and look at the

person speaking with you. Give them your undivided attention.

o Don't interrupt people. Make it a habit to let them finish what they are saying.

Respect that they have thoughts they are processing and speaking about, and wait

to ask questions or make comments until they have finished.

o Keep your eyes focused on the speaker and your ears tuned to their voice. Don't let

your eyes wander around the room, just in case your attention does too.

o Carry a notebook or start a conversation file on your computer. Write down all the

discussions that you have in a day. Capture the subject, who spoke more (were you

listening or doing a lot of the talking?), what you learned in the discussion, as well as

the who, what, when, where, why, and how aspects of it. Once you have conducted

this exercise 810

times, you will be able to see what level your listening skills are

currently at.

o Ask a few questions throughout the conversation. When you ask, people will know

that you are listening to then, and that you are interested in what they have to say.

Your ability to summarize and paraphrase will also demonstrate that you heard

them.

o When you demonstrate good listening skills, they tend to be infectious. If you want

people to communicate well at work, you have to set a high example.

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Nine: Building Your Credibility

Part of having personal impact means that you have some kind of influence on other people.

This means that you need to be credible in what you say and in the things that you do.

In this , you'll learn about building credibility though the development of trusting

relationships.

Defining Credibility

We've probably all worked

with people (including leaders) that we did not respect. No matter

how long we worked with them, and no matter how great our results were, there was

something about them which stopped us from trusting them. This lack of respect leads to

dysfunctional teams, where people are afraid of repercussions. When people work well with

one another, and respect one another, trust is built.

Factors that impact your credibility include small things (like remembering to think of people

and send a thank you note) and big things (like being punctual). Credibility is affected by your

ability to engender trust. It is reinforced when people speak about you in a manner that reflects

the regard they hold you in.

Below are five ways that you can develop trusting relationships.

If you say you'll do it, then get on and do it.

Some people are good at planning and setting things up, but not so good when it comes to the

follow through. At some point, you have to stop talking and start doing. If details are not really

your strong suit, then make sure that you have people you can delegate to so that the things

you say you will do get done. If you break promises, any trust that people have in you will be

swiftly eroded.

If you make a mistake, own it.

We all make mistakes, and it's a way to learn how to improve. Instead of pointing the finger at

someone else (especially members of your team), make sure the blame falls where it belongs –

on you. Leaders and people who want to have impact learn that accepting responsibility for the

good and the bad builds trust and credibility.

Be there for people.

If people feel micromanaged,

they feel that you do not trust them to do their own work. Allow

them to experiment, take risks, and to learn from failure as well as their own choices.

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Remember to also see what their strengths are and to celebrate when they do things well.

Don't try to take credit when the whole team is contributing to success. As well, make sure that

you are available when they need your support through mentoring and coaching.

Be assertive.

Although this is something that varies culturally and even within industries, you've got to be

prepared to stand up for the things you believe in. You must also develop tools to manage

conflict and to solve problems. If everyone that you work with seems accepting of everything

you do and say, chances are that they are afraid of telling you the truth about how they really

feel. Encourage sharing of

opinions, debate, and discussion as

a way for everyone to learn and

grow.

Be yourself.

Demonstrating your brand and having a personal impact on the things that you do does not

mean that you become someone else in public. Be accepting of who you are (including your

strengths and weaknesses) and commit to ongoing development so that you can be the best

person you can be.

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Ten: Brand You

If it's clear to you what type of impact you want to have, it will become clear to the people that

you work, play, and gather with. If it's not clear to you, there is a risk that you will appear

inconsistent or that you don't know what you want.

In this , you'll consider your personal brand, define what it looks like to you, and

become certain about how you present yourself.

Defining Your Brand

When we refer to your brand, we're thinking about the package that you want to offer to

others. This is a small scale version of a corporate brand, and vastly different from a cattle

brand. Thinking about your personal brand can seem a bit vague, so let's make it something

that is more tangible.

When a company considers their brand, they do so in terms of standards. Their logo will be

created, and with that will be rules (standards) about how the logo is placed on a page,

whether it can be reproduced in black and white or must always be in color, what uniforms

staff need to wear, how the business itself will be presented, and so on.

Your brand is not the same as a corporate brand, but it has some similar elements. Your brand

is a reflection of the story that you want to tell about yourself and how you wish for others to

see you. Over time, as you evolve as a human being (and as you age), your story changes. You

finish some things, you start others, and things that are important at one stage of your life may

lose importance over time. Your goals will also change over time.

If you think of what you want said of you in the public, those things would be a good

representation of your brand, wouldn't they? The best exercise for this is to think about what

will be said about you when you can no longer speak for yourself, when you have passed away

and someone is writing a eulogy in tribute to you or writing an obituary.

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Designing My Brand

Selfexercise

Consider what your brand is all about. Complete the worksheet on the following pages to

help you.

Details

Name

Current Age

Direction

To become the person I want to be I will:

I conduct my life centered on the values of:

I respect characteristics that I see in others, such as:

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Presentation

Mode of dress when out in public (casual, business casual, snappy dresser, etc.), including

specific or signature items that you wear:

My favorite colou(s) to wear, decorate my home, my vehicle(s):

My hair usually gets styled like this:

My makeup, eyewear, and accessories (if worn) look like this:

The gadgets I have and use regularly are... (Are you someone who likes brand new, or do you

wait until the bugs are worked out of things and purchase them later?)

These are my current hobbies, including ones I want to cultivate:

Things still on my bucket list (the things I want to do before I can't do them):

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Accomplishments

These are my greatest accomplishments. (Indicate whether they are already finished, yet to

be started, or in progress.)

The Top Five

My last two bosses would use these five words to describe me:

My best friend would use these five words to describe me:

My partner, children, or siblings would use these five words to describe me:

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Are the five words consistent in all the descriptions here? If so, congratulations! It seems like

you are consistent in the way that you present yourself. If not, what can you do about it?

What are you doing to make those elements part of your life every week?

Ready, Set, Draw!

Create a logo or selfportrait

that represents your personal brand.

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Eleven: Living Your Brand

If your brand is changing, or is something that you had not defined yet, you will find it helpful to

make some decisions about how you will present yourself to the community.

In this , you'll set up a plan for how you wish to present yourself and prepare to make

some significant changes.

Getting Started

If you are going to make a transition to always demonstrating your brand, you could do it in a

few different ways. You could:

o Start fresh and simply start behaving as you have identified in your brand

description.

o Book an official launch and celebrate the new you publicly.

o Set up a marketing plan to purposely promote your brand. This could be something

like a launch, or it might be a branded approach to a job search

plan and embarking

on the next stage of your career.

Most likely, and quite simply, you could make a gradual transition where you gradually adopt

the things that are reasonable to you and fit within your goals, without a big announcement.

What is important is to start, and then to keep going despite setbacks or frustration.

When people notice success, they are inclined to make statements like, "Wow, that person is so

lucky to have those things/that life/that job." And yet the reality is that to get where they are,

this person has made mistakes, faced failure, and tried yet again to reach success.

In order to be successful, and get what it is that you want, you are going to have to make some

changes. Success will come when you incorporate successful activities that move you toward

your goals. We hear frequently that people do not have time to do more. They do not have

time to exercise, go out with friends, prepare healthy food, or be with their families. If that's

the case for you, it's time to evaluate the things that you are doing. You have to make

adjustments in order to be able to take the action that is necessary to change your life.

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Tips for getting started

Identify the low value tasks in

your routine. Watching television is a low value task: sure it is

entertaining, and we all want some entertainment, but you actually get little to nothing out of

it. It can be replaced with high value tasks that give you some kind of real return. Surfing the

Internet aimlessly is another low value task.

Calculate the amount of time that you spend on low value tasks each week. Assess whether

those tasks are moving you toward your goals. (Since they are low value, they probably won't

be doing much for your goal achievement.) Over a two week period, replace 80% of the time

you are spending on low value tasks with high value tasks. That still gives you some time for

doing nothing, but now you are focusing on things that need doing.

Review the habits of successful people and learn from them. You don't need to become the

next Anton Rupert, Donald Trump, or Oprah Winfrey: you need to be yourself, at your best.

Many successful people have written books (or had someone write their book) about how

they've achieved what they have. Have a look at them and see what you can apply in your own

life.

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Twelve: Managing Your Social Media Presence

Social media is here to stay, but we can manage it rather than having it take over our lives. Do

you know all of the places where your name or image appears on the Internet? Have you put it

there? Does it really represent your brand?

In this , you'll consider some of the places that you have a presence and what you wish

to do about it.

Understanding Social Media

You need to develop a curiosity about how people see you online and what is said about you.

This can be managed by putting your own name in search engines and by taking good care of

popular social networking sites such as LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter.

Learn to set up automatic searches for your name (such as through a Google Alert), so that you

will receive an email

that lets you know your name has been mentioned online. Make sure that

pictures, comments, email

signatures, and articles that are about you support your brand. If

they do not support your brand, make sure you have them removed so that they don't detract

from the impact you are aiming for.

When your presence in person and online is well managed, you have the opportunity to exert

influence without anyone observing that you are being incongruent with your brand. This

means that you can have the impact that you desire, without concern that something from your

past might come forward to derail your efforts.

Social media is an evolving and influential medium for sharing information. If you say something

that someone notices, and they click on a "share" button, your message can be spread

throughout an increasing number of sites that include blogs, wikis, forums, podcasts, photo

sites, and bookmarks. Social media has been created specifically to share information among

networks, and its popularity continues to grow. Leveraging social media is an incredible way for

a single message to be spread, but the downside is that a message that you later want to recant

can be very hard to get rid of.

This means that if you make comments about somebody that you dislike, a company that you

want to complain about, a book that struck a nerve, or an opinion about something going on in

politics, you've got to keep in mind that those comments can be tracked back to you. You must

be mindful about what you place online.

When it comes to getting a promotion, applying for a new job, or trying to secure a contract,

Human Resources departments and your contacts regularly search the Internet to see what is

there. In order to maintain the integrity of your brand, you need to do the same. Search for

your name (and all variations of it, including images) in several different search engines and see

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what appears. Do these messages support your brand? Do they tarnish your image in any way?

Make sure that anything that does not represent who you are is properly removed.

In order to manage your presence on social media, we recommend that you reserve your name

on any social networking site that you come across so that other people cannot pretend to be

you. Then, create a consistent message (your brand) across all sites that you use. Don't think

that you have to be active on every site, because you don't. Spend as little time as you can on

just a couple of sites, and save the rest of your time for achieving your goals.

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Thirteen:

Having Influence

There are different ways that you can extend influence to others. Do you have a good

understanding of who listens to you now and what their reasons are for doing so? Do you

extend your influence intentionally?

In this , you'll learn about different types of influence that you can offer, including

persuasion, negotiation, and

saying no. Persuasion Techniques If you want to be someone who

is known for being a clear communicator, watch out for words like these:

o I'll try

o Ought to

o Should have

o Must

o Always

o Never If you are tempted to insert these

words into your conversations, replace them with clearer

terms. Instead of "I'll try to get back to you later," say "I'll call you back by 4:00 today" (and

then make sure that you do!).

There are different levels of influence that you can exert and different approaches that you can

take. Depending on the situation, you may wish to persuade or you may have to move onto

negotiation techniques.

Persuasion

Expecting the best and knowing when to stop talking are probably two of the most important

elements of persuading others. If we can't convince ourselves of something, it will be very

difficult for us to persuade others.

Have you ever known another person who talked so much that other people stopped listening?

These individuals overwhelm their listeners with conversation until the listener becomes confused, bored, or both.

59

Mark Twain used to tell the following story that bears out that point:

"I was attending a meeting where a missionary had been invited to speak. I was deeply

impressed. The preacher's voice was beautiful. He told us about the sufferings of the natives

and he pleaded for help with such moving simplicity that I mentally doubled the 50 cents I was

about to put in the plate.

"He described the pitiful misery of these poor people and I raised the amount again. As he

continued, I felt that all the cash I carried on me would be insufficient, so I decided to write a

large check.

"Then he went on. That preacher went on and on about the dreadful state of these poor

natives and I abandoned the idea of a check. And still he went on. And I got back to a dollar,

and then 50 cents. And still he went on. And when the plate finally came round...I took 10 cents

out of it!"

The lesson: balance enthusiasm with control.

Ten Ways to Persuade

1. Demonstrate your expertise and knowledge without becoming patronizing.

2. Make sure integrity is reflected in your standards, values, and behaviour.

3. Know when to be silent.

4. Create an obligation for one or both parties.

5. Proceed a bit at a time, from inconsequential points into major areas.

6. Never corner people. Leave them a way out.

7. Give sincere compliments.

8. Be childlike: open and transparent. Expand your center of interests to include others and

explore the talents of others.

9. Remember names.

10. Remember: difficult people

don't play by the same rules.

(Adapted from the Secrets of Power Persuasion by Roger Dawson)

60 Negotiation Techniques The essence of negotiating is

that in order to get what we want, sometimes we have to give

something up. We can negotiate on price (you give me more value and I will give you more

money) or principles. Argue Based on Principle instead of Positions

You've probably heard that expression that someone is "digging their heels in," meaning that

they are so focused on what they want (and their position) that they have lost sight of the topic

being argued and the principle.

If you are negotiating, try not to defend a position; otherwise you simply become more

attached to it and will defend it even harder. You'll try to save face and lose your commitment

to the real problem.

Arguing Chips Away at Relationships

Since a negotiation is a form of conversation, the idea is to have successful negotiations that

contribute to more conversations. Be careful that your approach to negotiating does lead to a

battle of wills. Each of you can clearly state what you are willing to do or not do, and then work

through the problem rather than deteriorating to personal attacks and

bravado.

The Softer Side

Sometimes people who resist conflict or who understand the high price that can be exacted for

hard bargaining try to soften the edge by being friendlier in their approach. They get focused on

the relationship and on reaching an agreement rather than simply pushing their own agenda.

This is an example of soft negotiation where we extend trust to

the other side, make offers and concessions, and do what we

can to avoid confrontation. Principled Negotiation Works Instead of having to choose

whether to stick to your position, or to use a soft or hard positional

approach, we recommend that you apply principled negotiation. This approach is neither soft

nor hard, and works in almost any negotiation by applying four simple strategies.

61

Each point deals with a basic element of negotiation and suggests what you should do about it.

o People: Focus on the problem, not the people.

o Interests: Be concerned with interests of both parties, not digging in your heels.

o Options: Think of different solutions and possibilities instead of starting out from

where you want to end up.

o Standard: Make sure that results are based on an actual

standard, instead of

something subjective.

Focus on the Problem, Not the People

We often make the comment that we have to focus on behaviours, not people. Take this

concept seriously. Don't get angry: get clear about behaviours that need to change.

Negotiators are People First

When it comes to negotiations, we are dealing with human beings. And when people get

passionate about something, it is a good reminder for us to see that they have emotions,

convictions, different paradigms, and they can be unpredictable.

When things get heated, which they will at times, remember that your emotions and hot

buttons are also involved. Ask yourself if you are paying attention to the people, or are getting

distracted by positions.

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Expressing Your No

Once you understand what someone is asking of you and decide you want to say no, choose the

kind of no that best suits the person and situation. Here are some general rules to follow.

Say no firmly and calmly, without saying, "I'm sorry," which weakens your position.

Say no, followed by a straightforward explanation of what you are feeling or what you

are willing to do.

o "I'm uncomfortable doing that."

o "I'm not willing to do that."

o "I don't want to do that."

o "I don't like to do that."

Say no, and then give a choice or alternative.

o "I can't help you now, but I will when I get this done, which could be in an hour."

o "I don't have time today, but I could help out the first thing

tomorrow morning."

Say no and then clarify your reasons. This does not include longwinded

statements filled with

excuses, justifications, and rationalisations. It's enough that you do not want to say yes. Your

clarification is given to provide the receiver more information so that he or she can better

understand your position.

Use your natural no. You may have developed your own style of saying no based on your past

experience and personality. If so, use it.

Make an empathetic listening statement and then say no. You may paraphrase the content and

feeling of the request, and then state your no.

Example: "I can see that it is important to you that one of my assistants gets your report done.

I'd like to have someone do it, but my staff is already overburdened with high priority tasks to

be completed by the end of the day."

Say yes, and then give your reasons for not doing it or your alternative solution. This approach

is very interesting. You may want to use it in situations when you are willing to meet the

request, but not at the time or in the way the other person wants it.

o "Yes, I would be willing to help you out, but I won't have time until this afternoon."

o "Yes, I'd be willing to go

along with your second alternative,

but not the third one

you suggested."

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The Persistent Response

You can also use the persistent response. This method of saying no entails using a onesentence

refusal statement and persistently repeating it as often as necessary, no matter what the

person says. This technique is useful when dealing with very aggressive or manipulative people

who won't take no for an answer. The persistent response can be effective in maintaining your

refusal while continuing to be in charge of your emotions.

Because this way of saying no is unusual and a bit complex, we will provide some detailed

guidelines for applying it.

First, select a concise, onesentence

statement and repeat it no matter what the other person

says or does. Examples:

o "I understand how you feel, but I'm not willing..."

o "I'm not interested..."

o "I don't want to..."'

o "I'm uncomfortable doing that, so I don't want to..."

o "You might be right, but I'm not interested."

After each statement by the other person, say your persistent response sentence. It's important

that you don't get sidetracked by responding to any other issue the other person brings up.

Guidelines for Saying No

Say your statement firmly, calmly, and as unemotionally as possible.

Be aware of your nonverbal behaviour, making sure you don't come across passively or

aggressively. Use plenty of silence to your advantage. Your silence will project the message that

the other's statements and manipulation are futile.

Be persistent. Simply state your response one more time than the other person makes his or

her request, question, or statement. If the other person makes six statements, you make seven.

If the other person makes three statements, you make four. Most often, the other person will

feel ill at ease and stop after three or four statements. Other times, your response will move

the other person to offer options you are willing to go along with.

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Fourteen: Dealing with Challenging People

No matter where we are or how we conduct ourselves, we will encounter challenging people. If

they are being very difficult, you'll notice that they don't necessarily play by the same rules that

the rest of us do.

In this , you'll learn to get to the root of the problem. We will also consider ways to

speak about and deal with challenging people in your life.

Getting to the Heart of the Problem

If you think of the assessment you completed in Three, you classified yourself on a

scale of assertiveness and emotionality. Dealing with challenging people (or difficult people,

depending on how you define things), can be scary if you are a conflict avoider, but we are

going to run into challenging people throughout our lives, so it's best to have a great set of

tools to manage these issues.

For example, you might be a supervisor who had to speak with an employee about some

unacceptable behaviour. Perhaps they are always late for work, even though they are supposed

to be answering the phones at 8:00 a.m. You've spoken with the employee a couple of times,

and this led to improved punctuality for a few days before he slipped back to being late again.

You have even spoken to your human resources consultant about suspending the employee,

but they think that suspension is too harsh a punishment, despite your thorough recordkeeping

that shows how often and how bad this behaviour is. You've been braver than plenty

of workplace leaders because you have discussed the problem

with the employee and with HR. But somehow, the behaviour continues, and you get a sense

that you are not doing enough.

What's Missing?

You aren't getting to the heart of the problem. It's not enough to tell the individual that they

are breaking the rules, or that a colleague has to cover their tasks when they are late. If it were

enough, the behaviour would stop.

Ask yourself what is really bothering you to get at what is really bothering them. Often the

behaviour touches a nerve that is much more personal. For example, if you hired the

receptionist because he was the son of a friend, and you felt that he was taking advantage of

your relationship with him and his parents by not caring about the schedule, that's at a much

deeper level than just the rules that are being broken.

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If the person is perpetually late because they do not set their alarm (and get up to it) because

they really do not care about their job, or they feel underutilised, or they are being bullied by a

coworker

and cannot drag themselves into the office, then we are getting at the root of the

real problem.

If you are content to only deal with the surface issues, and you are afraid to dig and get at the

deeper issues, you will not be a part of improving the situation. You simply scrape the moss off

of the surface, only to have it to grow back later.

The ability to peel an infraction back to its core takes patience and precision. Sometimes we

don't do this because it can take time to uncover the real problem. We can often find ourselves

in too much of a hurry to do this properly. At other times, our emotions get involved and we

make a decision that we really don't want to go there because we'll also have to deal with what

is bothering us.

If you don't stop to think about the big picture, you'll end up either missing the problem or

going after too many problems at one. To stop yourself from being overinvolved,

you must be

able to state the problem in a single sentence. If you make it

longer, you'll lose focus of the real problem. 66 The Three F's To get to the heart of the

problem, evaluate the 3 F's: facts,

frequency, and frustrated relationship. Facts What are the facts of the issue?

Create a list so that you do not get sidetracked while you plan your conversation. Don't drag in

other stories or unrelated issues that have happened

previously. If you are talking to someone about tardiness, then stick to that and leave things like

poor report writing, gossiping, or not taking care of equipment out of the conversation.

Frequency

Make sure you have a very clear history of the frequency of the issue. In this case, how often is

the individual late? How late are they?

Describe the pattern like this: "This is the second time that I've called this to your attention.

You agreed it would not happen again. Now I am concerned that I cannot trust you to keep a

promise."

Revealing that you notice a pattern brings the history to the forefront. The history is important

because repeated frequency erodes your trust.

Frustrated Relationship

If your real concern is about the relationship, but you only focus on the pattern, then you are

not likely to get the change that you are aiming for. You have to discuss what is important to

you in terms of the relationship. Explain that when they repeatedly ignore your expectations to

be on time, they aren't just demonstrating a lack of commitment to the job. They are eroding

your trust in them, your trust in their ability to do their job, and the possibility of being trusted

with assignments in the future. Comments like the following can be helpful:

o I feel like I cannot trust you to get the work done.

o I feel like I am constantly nagging you and I don't like to do that.

o I feel like I can't trust you to

keep the commitments you make. 67 Types of Difficult People Challenging people are the ones

that get themselves sorted into c s o

d

w y p

w p

working effectively with them. The Stubborn One

Description

o Stuck on their position

o Unable or unwilling to see other points of view

Solutions

o Engage them in discussion and debate.

o If you know you are correct, be persistent.

o Provide documentation to help

support your case. The Quiet One

Description

They may be quiet because they are:

o Bored

o Not interested in the subject matter

o Think they know everything

o Nervous

o Shy

o Tired of dealing with the issue

Solutions

o Figure out why they are being quiet.

o Ask them easy questions.

o Give positive feedback when the person responds to your question.

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The Jester

Description

o Good natured

o Distracted by other issues

Solutions

o Be professional and stay cool.

o If the behaviour is a real problem, address it privately and calmly.

o Find something to agree with.

o Keep the conversation

moving. The Senseless Talker

Description

o Talks about other problems

o Can't stay on track

Solutions

o Tie what they are saying back to the issue at hand.

o If you can't figure out the connection, ask them how it relates.

o Separate out the issues and

address one thing at a time. Off Base

Description

o Brings up ideas that are wrong

Solutions

o Correct their misconception in private and tactfully.

o Have documentation on hand

to show your point. Bigger Issues

Description

o Some personalities just clash

o Sometimes people are out to cause trouble

Solutions

o Keep the person focused on the task at hand.

o Ask lots of questions and keep

them involved. 69 The Chatterbox

Description

o Talks about personal matters when in a conversation

o Can be distracting and impede progress

Solutions

o Tactfully bring the conversation back to the matter at hand.

o Ask easy questions and involve them in the discussion.

o If it is appropriate (i.e. with a colleague), set boundaries using phrases like, "I'm not

comfortable discussing that at work. Would you like to have coffee later to talk

about it?"

The Know-It-All

Description

They may have this attitude because:

o They are very interested in the topic at hand

o They are an expert in this subject

o They like to hear their own voice

Solutions

o Ask them complex or detailed questions.

o Be prepared! Have documentation ready.

o Have confidence in yourself

and your ability to do your job. The Whiner

Description

They may be complaining because:

o They have a legitimate complaint

o They are innately negative

o This is a pet peeve

Solutions

o Use active listening, empathy, and paraphrasing to ensure that they feel heard.

o Find out what they want from the conversation: a solution, advice, or just to vent (as

examples).

o Encourage them to think of

solutions. 70

Fifteen: Presentations and Meetings

If you want to have an impact and demonstrate your brand, you will probably have to make

presentations and speak up at meetings. The better you get at presenting yourself, the more

likely you will do well in representing your brand.

In this , you'll learn

some tools to prepare you for

meetings and to make presentations

with impact.

Speak up

Public speaking is an opportunity for you to share what you have learned, broaden your

network, and consider how the impact that you want to have can be shared.

Whether you are pitching an idea, managing a crisis, or leading a meeting, effective speaking

skills are critical to building credibility and carrying your message home. Even the most secure

speakers know that they shouldn't wing it. No matter how well you know your product or

service, or the story that you will share, it pays to plan. Think about what's most relevant to

your audience and put their interests first.

The numbers of people who aren't good speakers far outweigh those who are good, so there's

lots of room for those who are just okay at public speaking. However, if you want to move your

presentation from dull to dynamic, you can pump up your presentation in seven easy steps:

1. Talk to yourself. Practice in front of a mirror, trying to look relaxed and friendly. Stand with

your arms in front of your body, with your elbows at 90 degrees and your palms at 45

degrees, leaning forward. That says, "I'm here, I'm engaged, and I am being open with you."

2. Have a point. Decide on your core message ahead of time. Bring the listener quickly to the

point of action by crafting your theme into your introductory passages.

3. Look them in the eye. Making frequent eye contact for a few seconds with listeners in the

audience will create an aura of confidence and familiarity, which will help you get your

message through. This also helps with making an emotional connection.

4. Know the room. Boost your comfort level by checking out your speaking venue in advance.

Practice with the microphone and any visual aids that you plan to use.

5. Crack a smile. Smiling tells the audience you're enthusiastic and confident – just the kind of

person they want to hear. Smiling can also relax you, reduce your heart rate, and help you

breathe easier.

6. Pump up the volume. People need more energy than they think to make a strong

presentation. Use a slightly louder voice than you think you need, and work on your

articulation.

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7. Don't be a comic. When you tell a joke, you can easily offend other people. Tell a funny

story about yourself instead. And write your own material – nothing damages credibility

more than telling someone else's story and pretending that it is yours.

72 Preparing for Meetings Our weeks are often filled with

meetings. They are an excellent forum for sharing information

and knowing what's going on, if they are managed well. Otherwise, meetings can seem like a

big waste of time. To make the most of your meetings, we have several tips for you.

Before the Meeting

You need to be one of those people who are prepared for meetings when you arrive. This

means arriving on time, reading materials that are supposed to be reviewed beforehand, and

being prepared to participate as opposed to observing.

Questions to ask yourself when preparing for a meeting include:

o What information do you need to take with you?

o What do you want to get out of the meeting? Is there something in particular you

want to get done?

o What contribution do you want to make? Are you just trying to get information?

Do you want to follow up something that was raised at an earlier meeting

and check progress on it? Do you just want to draw attention to something?

Do you want to make sure people are aware of a problem so that it doesn't

happen again?

When previewing reports and information, here are some tips:

o When the reports arrive, scan them quickly to establish the scope and content.

o Write down any initial questions you may have and look for answers in the

subsequent stages.

o Read conclusions, summaries,

and recommendations first, then go back and read the content. (This improves retention of the material.)

o Highlight sections or use sticky notes to make sections you want to refer to.

73 During the Meeting Keep your contributions short. Your point is more likely to be

understood and to have an impact if you keep it reasonably short. Resist the urge to go off

on a tangent.

Don't take so many notes that you lose track of what is going on.

Most meetings are recorded by a minutetaker,

so just write down the things that affect you

(such as things that you are responsible for doing before the next meeting) or things that will

jog your memory when it comes to reporting back to your employees or supervisor.

Avoid interrupting others to make your contribution. Do not let others interrupt you.

In some meetings it is difficult to get your contribution in. If you do have to interrupt, do so

firmly and politely. Once speaking, do not be tempted to make several points for fear of not

getting in again.

Think about your nonverbal

behaviour.

Both the volume and tone of your voice are important here. If you are too quiet you will lose

impact and be open to interruptions. Eye contact is also important. Remember to sit

somewhere that makes it easy to catch the eye of the chair so that you can get your

contribution in. While you are speaking, distribute your eye contact throughout the meeting,

but direct it at those for whom your contribution is most relevant. This enables you to judge

how your contribution is being received.

Time your contributions.

Raise points at the relevant time for the maximum impact. Do not wait until the last minute

before airing an opposing view. If others are on the verge of making a decision, they will be

irritated if you suddenly come up with opposition.

If you are brief and avoid interruptions, you stand a good chance of getting a reaction. If no one

reacts, however, don't be shy about asking the group or an individual for a reaction.

If you are asked to give an opinion on something that has come up unexpectedly, don't feel

pressured into giving an offthecuff

answer if you are not confident that you know your own

strengths. It is perfectly acceptable to ask to be given time to think about it.

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Leading Meetings

If you are leading meetings, here are five ingredients for managing them effectively:

o Be a leader or member of the meeting committed to resolving issues, not just talking

about them.

o Hold meetings that focus on important issues and guide the group in resolving them.

o Make sure that meeting leaders and members have the skills needed to work

together effectively.

o Establish a means for recording ideas and keeping track of what goes on.

o Arrange a meeting location free of interruption from other activities.

75 Recommended Reading List If you are looking for further

information on this topic, we have

included a recommended reading list below. Berkley, Susan. Speak to

Influence (Second Edition).

Campbell Hall Press, 2004.

Bilanich, Bud, and Lydia Ramsey. Success Tweets For Creating Positive Personal Impact. Front

Row Press, 2011.

Boothman, Nicholas. How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less. Workman Publishing

Company, 2000.

Canfield, Jack, and Janet Switzer. The Success Principles. William Morrow Paperbacks, 2006.

Cialdini, Robert. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. Collins, 2006.

Fisher, Roger, Bruce Patton, and William Ury. Getting to Yes. Penguin, 2011.

Post, Emily, and Peter Post. Emily Post's The Etiquette Advantage in Business. William Morrow,

2005.

Wheeler, Alina. Designing Brand Identity (Third Edition). Wiley and Sons, 2009.

76 Post-Course Assessment

1. The 5 D's of resiliency include developing a positive selfconcept,

developing

relationships, developing vision, and... (Select all that apply.)

a. Developing appreciation

b. Developing acceptance

c. Developing setback prevention strategies

d. Doing things for yourself

2. True or False: Brian Tracy said, "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will

direct your life and you will call it fate."

3. Speaker's biases can include:

a. Body language and expressions

b. Past experiences and assumptions

c. Emotional state and distractions

d. All of the above.

4. True or False: Having a personal brand means that you will have an impact.

5. Networking to expand my personal impact is something that I can do through:

a. Breakfast meeting groups

b. Taking a course

c. Establishing a mastermind group

d. All of the above

6. Listening well and receiving the sender's message:

a. Is easy if you just open your ears

b. Is hard work

c. Takes attention and commitment

7. In order for me build credibility, I have to:

a. Do what I say I will do

b. Take responsibility when I make mistakes

c. Be there for people

d. All of the above

8. In order to decide what kind of impact I want to have:

a. I need to work on my posture

b. I need to explore my goals

and personal brand

c. I need to go on a year long backpacking holiday

d. None of the above

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9. In order to achieve the impact I wish to have, it's a good idea to: (Select all that apply.)

a. Remove the low value tasks from my routine

b. Take my partner for dinner and celebrate the launch of the new me

c. Review the habits of successful people

d. Buy the most expensive clothes I can find

10. True or False: I can control what people say about me on social media platforms.

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Personal Action Plan

You are nearly finished

Personal Brand: Maximizing Personal Impact, and we want to help you

take what you have learned and apply it in a very meaningful way.

Many people have all kinds

of great ideas when they finish a dynamic course like this, but things can come up that we need

to deal with, and those ideas can be forgotten.

In this , you will complete a personal action plan to take what you have learned and set

some concrete goals to help you to make the changes that you want. Writing your goals down,

and then checking in on your progress and making adjustments from time to time, are essential

steps in getting where you want to be. We recommend that you take screenshots of your plan,

or copy your goals down in your notebook, so that you can refer to them regularly.

I am already doing these things well:

I want to improve these areas:

I have these resources to help me:

About the Author

Franz H. Badenhorst has been in the I/O Psychology industry for over 10 years, in his practice he'd developed a skillset, a skillset now to be passed on. He lives in South Africa, Johannesburg with his Fiance and Child whilst undertaking authorship professionally. Please leave an honest review after you've read this book. Thank You.

Links to his series of books on Influential Psychology posted below.

Personal Branding -  http://www.amazon.com/Personal-Branding-guide-Influential-Psychology-ebook/dp/B00RCZBZ46/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1420157945&sr=1-1&keywords=franz+badenhorst

Live Your Life with NLP -  http://www.amazon.com/LIVE-YOUR-LIFE-Neuro-linguistic-Programming-ebook/dp/B00RKHL58C/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1420157945&sr=1-3&keywords=franz+badenhorst

Leadership -  http://www.amazon.com/Leadership-step-guide-Influential-Psychology-ebook/dp/B00RBXUZ36/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1420157945&sr=1-4&keywords=franz+badenhorst

Conflict resolution -  http://www.amazon.com/Conflict-resolution-guide-influential-psychology-ebook/dp/B00RBLQ190/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1420157945&sr=1-5&keywords=franz+badenhorst

Decision making & Problem Solving -  http://www.amazon.com/Decision-Making-Problem-Solving-Influential-ebook/dp/B00RD0FRYE/ref=sr_1_7?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1420157945&sr=1-7&keywords=franz+badenhorst

