[MUSIC - EARTH, WIND
& FIRE, "SEPTEMBER"]
All right.
Oh, look, It's the first time
I've seen my book in a store.
It's here.
You're going to sign books.
We have a Michelle Obama here.
[CHEERING]
Michelle Obama.
[CHEERING]
She'll be signing books.
[LAUGHS]
How are you?
Hi.
What's your name?
Hi, nice to meet you.
I'm Sophia.
Sophia.
Hi, Sophia.
You've got your book?
You'll start reading
it when you get home.
Ellen, you can't sign my book.
Yes, I can.
[LAUGHTER]
No, you can't.
For Cameron.
Wait, wait, OK, so now
you have to make a choice.
Do you want an
Ellen-signed Michelle Obama
book or a Michelle-Obama-signed
Michelle Obama book?
What if you get both
of our signatures?
That would be fantastic.
[LAUGHS]
Why is your signature
bigger than mine on my book?
The heck.
Free samples.
[LAUGHTER]
Anybody want a free sample?
If I could have a signed--
What's your name?
Sure, here's a free
sample for you.
[LAUGHTER]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
What is your name?
What's your name?
Michelle, what did
you put in here?
Oh my god.
[LAUGHTER]
What?
Michelle, you can't do that.
Look at her.
She does a lot of book signings,
so she gets a little, you know.
[LAUGHTER]
That's crazy.
You can't--
It's OK.
I'm sorry, don't even act
like that happened, all right?
OK, what's your name?
Gina.
So G-I--
G-I-N-A.
G-I-N-A.
Yeah.
To Gina.
Here's my book.
Thank you.
OK.
[LAUGHS]
Gina.
Gina.
Did you want Ellen's book too?
Yes, of course.
Yeah.
You don't have to be polite.
[LAUGHTER]
Thank you.
What did you--
I didn't say anything.
Oh.
What aisle is the foot
fungus medicine on?
[LAUGHTER]
Michelle is asking for
foot fungus medicine.
I don't need foot
fungus medicine.
No?
No.
Hi, Michelle, so I came for
lunch, because I got her lunch.
And my grandbaby's just--
What are you doing?
Are you sure you only
want the 30-pack?
[LAUGHTER]
I don't need that
much toilet paper.
I'm good.
We're good.
Why do you say one thing
to me quietly and then act
like you didn't say it?
OK, and this one as well?
My mom.
L-I-L-A.
For those of you
who can't get here,
I'm going to read a
tiny bit of her book
so that you can
see what is inside.
He took her by the waist
and pulled her flush
against his chest--
[LAUGHTER]
That's not--
--the number one thing
this woman needs.
That's not my book.
Thank you so much.
[LAUGHTER]
What book was that?
I don't know.
Stop reading from my book.
[LAUGHS]
Emma.
Emma, OK.
I'm about to give it to her.
Smell this.
No, no.
Because when they
go low, we get high.
[LAUGHTER]
When they go low, we get high.
Put that down or you're going
to get that up your nose.
And then you'll be sorry.
Gonna get up your nose.
OK, thanks so much.
You want me to
sign a book to you?
I would love that.
That's Sheri, S-H-E-R-I--
S H A A R I A S C
H A I O R I O I O U
[LAUGHTER]
Step on up.
Thank you very much.
How are you?
When I say a "Michelle,"
you say "Pfeiffer."
Michelle!
Pfeiffer!
Michelle!
Pfeiffer!
[LAUGHTER]
You thought I was
going to say, "Obama."
I think you got me on that one.
All right.
What's your name?
Lilliam, L-I, double-L, I-A-M.
Stop signing.
[LAUGHS]
I'm helping and then
you just sign your name.
That's messy.
No, no, I'll do it for you.
It actually ends with an M.
Ends with an M.
You spelled it wrong.
Well, you would have
spelled it wrong, too,
had she not said that.
L-I, double-L--
L-I-L-L-A--
M.
See?
And second name is L--
L-I-L-L--
I-A-M.
I-A-M.
OK.
You're--
Don't confuse her now, Ellen.
I'm guiding her.
[LAUGHTER]
This is not helpful.
[LAUGHS]
All right, you know what,
you do it by yourself then.
[LAUGHTER]
Aw.
It's better that way.
[LAUGHS]
How are you guys doing?
What's your name?
Monica.
Monica, great, M-O-N-I-C-A?
Yes, beautiful.
No, we're going to keep--
I won't say anything.
Oh my gosh.
[LAUGHTER]
From sitting so much, yeah,
that could be a problem.
We don't need this.
No?
No, we don't need this.
No, thank you.
And what's your name?
Hi, my name's Cheryl.
What are you doing?
[LAUGHTER]
Can't take her anywhere,
can you, Michelle?
[CLAPPING]
Hi, how are you?
[PIANO NOISES]
Good.
What's your name?
Karen.
Karen, thanks for being here.
[LAUGHS]
(SINGING): She'll be
coming around the mountain
when she comes.
She'll be coming around the
mountain when she comes.
Come on, you know, I've learned
to ignore her through this--
(SINGING): She'll be
coming around the mountain.
She'll be coming
around the mountain.
She'll becoming around the
mountain when she-- get it?
"Becoming."
Oh, OK.
We'll change it.
She'll becoming.
You should emphasize it more.
You play.
No, she plays.
Oh god.
No, I don't really play.
Yes, she does.
She says in the book.
[LAUGHS]
[PIANO PLAYING]
[LAUGHS]
This is not like
a regular piano.
[PIANO PLAYING]
[APPLAUSE]
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
(SINGING): Michelle Obama.
[LAUGHS]
What's your name?
(SINGING): Michelle
Obama wrote a book.
She mentions Oprah several
times and me only once.
Michelle wrote a book mentioning
Oprah too many times but me
only once.
You were in there.
(SINGING): One time she
mentions me but only once.
How do you spell "Micae Langon?"
M-I-C--
M-I-C--
--K-E-Y. M-O-U-S-E.
Mickey Mouse!
M-I-C--
M-I-C--
Oh, OK.
All right, to Maya.
All right, everybody,
this has been fun.
I miss Michelle.
We miss Michelle.
I miss the Obamas.
We miss the Obamas.
We hope Michelle's
foot fungus clears up.
[LAUGHS]
We hope Michelle's
foot fungus clears up.
That's wonderful.
I don't have foot fungus.
[LAUGHTER]
We love Michelle!
We love Ellen!
[APPLAUSE]
[MUSIC - SISTER SLEDGE, "WE ARE
 FAMILY"]
We are family.
Hi, I'm Andy.
Ellen asked me to remind you
to subscribe to her channel,
so you can see more
awesome videos, like videos
of me getting scared or
saying embarrassing things,
like "ball peen hammer"
and also some videos
of Ellen and other
celebrities if you're
into that sort of thing.
[YELLING]
[BLEEP]
God [BLEEP]
