Okay so apparently this was less stupid
than I thought because you guys really
liked it, which is cool because I flippin'
lovemaking creatures. You guys were so
heckin' supportive so thank you so much.
Alright, to recap,
I will be rolling on
two different tables one with Pokemon
the other with D&D monsters and merging
the two together. Please note, that these
stats for the resulting monstrosities
can be found in the description below.
Alright I'm jazzed. Let's start rolling
First role will be
16!
That's Cubone. Yeah Cubone. Aww, all right
Oh starting off with like... potential cute.
Next one is sixty- aww really?
Really? Okay actually wait I think I know
which one this is because one of my
players actually claimed that number so
this one goes out to you! Okay which one is it?
Couatl! Yes okay oh snap we actually might
have something cute here let's get
started
So on the one hand we have
Cubone and orphaned Pokémon wearing the
skull of its dead mother whose cries
echo across the cave walls in the hopes
of staving off its irrevocable loneliness.
On the other we have Couatl a lower
level celestial garden and knowledge and
secrets, and one of the few Celestials that
are actually mortal.
One of the binding
tenants of the Couatl's life is a divine
task that they must enact even if the
deities demand exceeds their own
lifespan
If that is the case herein is the
unexplored territory of the tiny Couatling.
With a few pricks of its egg tooth the small winged serpent was free
they waited expectantly for its divine
insight to come or to be given purpose
but its only gift for silence. Its mother
coiled limply around the nest expended all
of her essence before her right could be
passed down in the quarreling was left
aimless in a dangerous world being small
easy targets for hungry fiends orphaned
Couatlings use their mother's skull as a
dramatic fear-evoking display using
flashing eye spots at the base of its
wings. Newly hatched Couatlings are
typically a dull brown to assist in
camouflage and will brighten over
several centuries. These young divine
serpents will actively seek out
companionship with good-natured
individuals and make excellent familiars
for celestial warlocks.
Couatlings hope that with their partnership they will
finally find the right path toward their
righteous purpose
[Couatling Squeaks]
[Couatling Screeches]
Alright not a bad start really
but things can always go horribly
wrong so second roll. Alright. 80!
Porygon. Okay Porygon thrown into
the blender with a 43, a Gnoll. Oof, ohh-
Okay well there's there's a look. Let's
work with this.
This time we've got two
distinctly different creatures here.
Porygon is an artificial pokemon born
from the virtual space from written code.
Then you have a gnoll which is a brutal race
of hyena-folk that fed on the scraps of
the chaotic aftermath of the dark God Yeenoghu.
You know two very easy to
fit together creatures.
So I do offer up
the devilish trickster the Wild Mange.
In the wake of the Spellplague where
the weave of magic was all but snuffed
out, there lingered pockets of
destructive wild magic that tainted the
lands and creatures like a radioactive poison.
Born from his toxic and twisted
magic, the WIld Mange is a creature torn
between the plains clawing its way
through the realms through aberrant
bursts of teleportation magic. It thirsts
for stable magic to tether it to the
Material Plane and will feed on the
spell slots of its victims.
Symptoms of a
Wild Mange incursion include wayward
objects glitching into walls as well as
nearby creatures appearing to lag or
repeat actions in real-time. Spellcasters
that managed to escape the jaws of a
hungry Wild Mange may find their spells
tainted by wild magic.
if you're faithful wizard received
multiple lacerations from this glitched
fiend they might experience subtle
cravings for magic that progress into
fits of madness and finally a full metamorphosis.
The curse of the Wild Mange is one of the most dangerous forms
of lycanthropy which can best be
surmised as a teleporting glitch wolf
that explodes with a deadly strobing
light
Best of luck adventurers come your next
long rest
[Wild Mange clicks and snarls]
On to our third roll, let's
see with the table of horrifying hybrids
gives us this time- 76!
That's an Onyx! Okay best rock boy is
crossed with something cool maybe- 33, that's
Chimera! Now this has some serious TPK material
going on. All right I'm sorry in
advance for any players I have to deal
with this.
In one corner a titanic rock
snake bores new tunnels with the
spinning jagged body and feeds on rare
minerals and in the other, a twisted
amalgam of beasts birth to satiate the
boredom of the chaos God. It seems cruel to
fuse something to an already malformed
fusion but here we stand at the titanic
foot of the Gargolem.
This gargantuan
construct was formed from a massive
menagerie of petrified creatures from an
avid collector. Callous beholders or cruel
Archmages may find a sickening new
purpose for their growing mountain of
terrified sculptures and turn their
amassing material into a powerful new
tool to keep adventurers from straying
into their lair. Nothing brings the
villains abode together like a walking
trophy of the party's mistakes.
The Gargolem waits motionless for its prey
and appears to all the world as a garden
of large statues and broken busts.
Until its tremorsense detects the
presence of footsteps approaching.
In a storm of weaving stone it assembles into
a horrifying mass of frozen visages of
its master's conquests. A broken symphony
of petrified allies cluttering in unison
and ready to add you to the pile.
A unique trait of the brawling Gargolem
is the ability to disassemble at
will, showering and crushing the party in
an avalanche of stone beneath it. This
insidious construct can use this ability
to feign death to surprise trespassers
from below. Rising rapidly upward these
golems can gather at and trap creatures
in a walking stone prison to await their masters.
[Roaring Gargolem]
[Heavy Stomping]
Okay no whammies. 4th roll- 71!
Banette. Okay this is- tis the season to be scary.
Okay then we have 74 which is
Ochre flippin' Jelly. I can rest happy now
We got an ooze. We got an ooze, guys. Okay I'm so
happy. Okay I don't know what I'm gonna
do with this but I'll figure it out okay
let's go!
Oh Banette, a terrifying trickster puppet
that is animated by pure hatred and
malice this nightmare goes nicely with a
fine dish of Ochre jelly.
Now this isn't
your average cup of jello unless your
jello moves, divides, and tastes like 1d6
acid damage good on you for having good
taste and dessert monsters.
Regardless
I bestow upon you the terror of the Marrownet.
Slinking upon the ceilings of the
Underdark is an ooze of frightening
intelligence that enjoys playing with
its meal.
Unlike most oozes, the Marrownet is
careful to expel and clean the weaponry
and treasure of its victims. It forms a
neat and tantalizing pile of wealth
beneath its slithering mass to tempt in
more warm bodies using thin cores of
slime that descend from above it sets the
trap for careless creatures that blunder
into its lair. The sticky tendrils
latch onto the limbs of its prey and
with a telekinetic shock, the
Marrownet forges a new plaything to
puppeteer for a while.
If the ooze fails
to commandeer a suitable live puppet, it
will instead use a few of its expired
models to deal with the unruly guests
one of the more unsettling features of
the Marrownet's lair is the leftover
meals it binds to the ceiling. It puts
these skeletal husks to quick use
orchestrating their movements to strike
adventures in a macabre dance.
Though at first glance they may
seem impossible to reason with, Marrownets
can be bribed with interesting or exotic
live creatures however their hedonistic
streak may mean their alliances are
rather dubious.
Never shake on a
Marrownet's word, lest you become another
one of its many puppets
[Marrownet swishing and squishing]
Okay final roll, guys. Alright, rollin'!
53!
Okay that's Unown. Okay
Okay. It's an okay Pokemon. Has cool lore-
Not bad mixed with
92!
[Ohoho~ anime evil laugh]
(Tongue click) ...But why. But why though? No... I don't know what I'm supposed to do with this-
(Jess internally dying) Okay then.
Unown is a bizarre Pokemon. They have a
childlike and playful curiosity for humans.
When they gather in great numbers
they even have the power to bend reality
to the will of their companion and open
up portals to other worlds.
A succubus
often has more dastardly plans for their
potential partners and will seduce their
victims to an early grave often through
their dreams.
So this is quite the
paradoxical mashup but nevertheless I
present the Engimirror.
Once a powerful but now banished Archfiend, the
Enigmirror's name and face have been lost to time.
A husk of its former self, this
oddly gentle aberration hungers for
company and will form strong maternal
connections with the unlikeliest of people.
The Enigmirror's fractured mine is
plagued by curiosity and seeks to better
understand the vexing intricacies of
sentient creatures it wishes to love but
has a poor grasp of how best to show it
often misunderstanding what things can
and cannot speak
the Enigmirror often takes the guise of
an ordinary object or animal and will
assail the party with endless questions.
If the adventurers patience holds strong
enough, the Enigmirror will adopt the party,
the object or animal that it once inhabited
will suddenly combust, and she will visit
them in their dreams.
Much like a doting grandmother, the Enigmirror will  happily spoil the party
with grand gestures however her magical
gifts never seem to work as intended.
An adventurer's request for a mass
teleportation may indeed end poorly when
when the Engimirror wasn't expecting
mortals to be so... delicate.
Enigmirror: "What are you?"
I'd like to especially thank all my
Patrons and Kofi donors that support me
in doing what I love.
It really baffles me because I never
thought I'd get this far doing this and
you've all been so great.
Even though I might not have the time necessarily to reply to all of you, I do read your
comments and they mean a lot to me so
thank you. I'm not really sure where
I'm gonna go with this Fusion series but
I'm experimenting. And figuring it out is
the fun part. So I hope you can stick
around to see where this goes alright
See you next time. Bye!
