What's up Greg I hope you're all having a great day, welcome back to my channel. This of course is another episode of
Because today we're gonna be talking about the worst paranormal investigators on all of YouTube
We're gonna be talking about this guy Parker and his friend Chester
Now I'm sure a lot of you might recognize these guys from a video that Drew made on his channel a while ago
That video was about a channel that these guys have where they do this "to catch a predator" type thing
It's this entirely
scripted, totally fake series that they have where they pretend to be this like Chris Harrison knock-off
And they pretend to catch child predators
Or actually, they do a very bad job of catching child predators
They just sort of get him in a room and tell him "stop that" and then they let him go
"Get out, Get out"
But while all those videos on that channel are very clearly fake and Drew did a very good job in his video of proving that
They have a different channel where they investigate paranormal activity...
and I'm pretty sure that these are real
I mean, come on
what are the odds that two guys who are faking videos on one channel would fake videos on their other channel?
That would be crazy
Taking a look at their channel it seems like most of their video concepts revolve around finding someone creepy in a weird place
"We Found Him in her Basement" "We Found Her Under The Bed" "We Found Him Watching Her Sleep"
"We Found a Stalker in Her House" "We Found a Stalker in the Closet" "We Found a Stalker in the Vent"
"We Found a Stalker in the Woods." And while it might seem weird that all of their videos are so
similarly titled and all they ever do is find someone in a weird place, as you watch their videos
It starts to make more sense because that literally is all they do. Like this video
for example, "We Found Him in her Basement"
"When Caroline's parents died,
they left her a house in their will. Now,
someone or something living in the basement.
(dramatic gasping)
Okay, so there definitely IS someone living in her basement
Parker said, "she's convinced" that there's someone living in her basement as if it's still up for debate
"She says there's someone living in her basement, but I'm still not so sure."
"I mean that could have been anything,"
A rat, a shadow,
A rogue tree branch, I don't know.
Huge thanks to swag bucks for sponsoring this video."
Okay, interesting
Very weird shift in tone for this ad.
"So there might be some sort of demonic entity living in this girl's basement..."
"But first let's hear a word from our sponsor."
"Hey, dude want some money?"
"Money!?"
"Download swag bucks!"
"Swag bucks? What's that?"
"It's a new app that basically gives you free money for doing stuff that you would be doing anyway"
"Like taking out the trash, going for a walk, and kicking your dog."
"Those are all things that I love"
"That's right. Every dog-kick is ten smackaroos!"
OoooOOOHHH
Okay, anyway
Did Chester just have to explain to Parker the concept of someone knocking on the door?
"Hey, did you hear that knock on the door?" "Oh shoot, you're right. That was weird!"
"I'm gonna go back to looking at my phone." "No, that means the girls here." "Where?" "At the door. She's the one knocking."
"Whoa, what the fuck, dude? She's hitting my door? Not cool!"
Okay, so Caroline, thank you for sitting down with us
Uh, yeah Chester
I'm pretty sure it's not a homeless person because she heard it screaming and scratching
and homeless people actually don't do those things
Those are two things that homeless people don't do
They don't scream, and they don't scratch,
you have to have a house to do those things
Also if it was a homeless person, how would that make it any less creepy?
There's still someone living in her basement? Like they would still have to investigate regardless, right?
Because that would mean that there is a person in her basement that's not supposed to be there
[dramatic sound effect]
[laughter]
I don't know why but that's such a funny impression of, like, a demon
"Caroline, come down here with me"
It's just this like, mild-mannered, nerdy demon.
"Hey Carolineee, come down here with me. We can watch a movieee. I'm making your favorite
Spaghetti and meatballsssss
[dramatic sound]
What?!
This girl called the police
because there was an intruder in her house and they were just like
Nah
Under what circumstances would you call 911 being like,
"Hey, there's someone IN my house right now" and they'd just be like
No
Sorry, but no
9-1-1. What's your emergency?
Hello help. There's an intruder in my house. He's in my basement and he's coming after me. Send someone quick
Yeah, okay
Huh?
You're trying to tell me that a person...
Is breaking into another person's house? Yeah, okay
You...
You don't believe me?
Okay, that's enough. I know this is a prank, okay?
Who is this? Did Kevin put you up to this? Kevin, are you there?
Kevin if this is you, you- you are- you are a rascal
Who the fuck is Kevin
Kevin, you know now I know why everyone calls you the Prank King. I mean, you really almost got me.
Oh shit
He found me, he found me! HELP! HELP!!
Oh, Kevin, this is a pretty good one, I got to admit. I got to admit ["Help!" continues through phone]
Oh, I peed my diaper, I have to go
Wait, what the hell Chester? That was kind of mean.
"If we don't see anything in that basement,"
"You're gonna get your ass back in that house and you're gonna stop complaining, alright?"
"Okay, but something definitely grabbed my ankle. That was a human hand"
"Yeah, well we'll be the judge of that"
Isn't it kind of weird to be, like, a ghost hunter...going from house to house investigating paranormal activity
And hoping you don't find anything?
Cuz isn't finding scary things like
your entire job?
I mean even if it's scary wouldn't it at the very least legitimize your career to have tangible evidence
that there are ghosts and stuff
Just imagine a pest-control person coming over to your house and you open the door and they're like,
Oh shit,
I hope there's no bugs in here. I hate bugs.
That's the whole reason I called, there are bugs, lots of them.
Oh nooooooo
Oh yeah, that house that we can clearly see
Out the window, in the pitch-black night
It doesn't look that bad at all
That house, I can tell from the outside
Definitely doesn't have a dude in the basement
So they head into the house and go down to the basement where there's
Poop all over the floor?
And they put cameras all around so they can see what's going on from the comfort of their car
I think that Parker might be
the least sneaky person on the planet
He's walking around a dark basement, trying not to be seen,
All the while shining a bright light right in his face.
Just illuminating himself in the darkness for all to see
And then he has a walkie-talkie which his friend is currently
Screaming at him through
AH!
Eventually, he finds this little demon guy and he chases him around but then Parker hides and waits for Chester to come down and find him
When Chester does come down and find him
He's still blasting himself with light making him the absolute easiest target possible
Then they both find the demon again
And then they get scared and run out of the house
And that's the end of that video
That's just how they end the video
They're like "whew, I'm glad we made it out of there safely.
That was really scary
But also apparently now Caroline's not responding to them?
Like maybe she got possessed or killed by this thing? It found her and killed her and they're just like,
Huh...
That's weird.
Well, no need to look into that
At least we're safe
And that's why we started this whole mission, right? Not to make sure Caroline was safe
But to make sure that uh, that *we* were safe.
Yeah, that's why we did it
See this is what I'm talking about when I say they're the worst paranormal investigators on the planet
Because when you think about it
They didn't do a darn thing
They just went into a basement, and got chased around in the dark for a few minutes
And then they left
And that's it
I love their thumbnails
They're a real treat because they explain to you what's going on in the image
As you can see here
This girl is sleeping and this man is watching
In the vent, there is a voice and in the bed there is a scared
Oh, no, this guy is scared and, look! This guy's old!
Ewwhhhh creepy!
This girl is scared and then over here we have a...
A... this thing which obviously doesn't need a caption because we all know what this is
So for this episode
"strange noises in her house."
At the beginning of every video
They always have the email from the person who is getting haunted where it describes the entire problem...
They always show a picture of the girl who's being haunted, for some reason?
For some reason it's always a girl and they always show a picture of her, I guess so you can see how pretty she is
And you can be like,
"Oh, no, this girl is *pretty* and she's getting haunted??"
"I gotta see how this plays out"
pretending to be her mom and other family members
"Dude what kind of TV show has sounds like that?"
"Like, people saying, like, I'm your mom and stuff like what kind of TV show?"
"Has moms in it? Dude, you sound so stupid right now."
Why is he so sure that it couldn't be their family members? Like, it could be her family members stalking her?
"Well, you do realize that it's not your real mom, right?
"Cuz I know your mom and she would never do anything like that"
Uh-huh, and then when she filmed the video the voices in her head somehow showed up in the video
Yeah, that could possibly be
Wow. They're so brave
What nice- what nice brave guys
"Okay, so here's our plan to keep you safe"
"You're gonna stay in your own bedroom with your creepy ghost mommy, and we're gonna hide outside in the safety of our car"
"How does that sound?"
"You guys are the best paranormal investigators ever"
I love how they just got in the car and Chester's already bored
He kind of seems like he really hates his job like last time he was like
"I hope we don't find anything" and now he's just complaining about a main component of their job
Anyway eventually see this spooky thing
and then they go to check it out and they go in her room and they're like
Hey, are you okay?
But then the person in the dress turns around and it's not her.
It's this guy? And then they run into the
bathroom and the girl is in there wearing a different
Outfit and they grab her and they run out of the house
and that's the end of the video.
They didn't catch the thing
They're still working to identify who that man was. They didn't figure out what he wanted
But they did
Let it attack her while they hid in the car
Actually I don't know if "attack" is the right word cuz I don't really even know what he did
Like I guess he just put on her dress and
Stood in her room and put her in the bathroom?
Like what was his plan? What did he even do?
This one's probably my favorite one:
Mmm dolphin man
My favorite superhero
What's going on in the background here?
What's this all about?
Whose house is this? Whoever's house they're filming in appears to be a gigantic Jake Paul stan
Just seems like a very weird side detail
Not very on brand.
"We're two paranormal investigators"
We find ghosts and demons and we bring him to justice
And we also fucking love Jake Paul.
He's so silly and hunky, Jake, if you're watching this, please DM me
Okay so the premise of this one is there's this girl
obviously
Her family owns a bunch of rental houses
And there's one that's not currently being rented and there's some weird stuff going on there
Oh my god
Did they really just make this girl's first line her fangirling over them?
Throughout this entire interview with this girl
It's just so painfully obvious that she's just reciting lines that she memorized
She might as well just be reading from a script that's directly in front of her
"Okay, so something weird's going on at one of your rental houses?"
Yes,
at night.
We are hearing screaming sounds coming from inside
Oh, no, that sounds scary.
It is scary
And let me just say
Gosh Parker you are so handsome in person
I was so scarred
scared
Yes. I was so scared. But now looking into your beautiful eyes. I am finally at peace
Well shit, I guess our job here is done.
Thank you so much for helping me
And also would you like to go out sometime?
What??
"It's just a noise" ???
Someone, clearly inside a house that you own
Screaming is not enough evidence for the police to investigate?
Who are the police in this universe?
The universe that chester and parker live in
They'll just make up any
Excuse to get out of helping in any way
So they head to the house to investigate
And this house, remember is supposed to be empty
There's no one living in it at the moment
but it very clearly is a house that someone lives in
There's cleaning supplies in the closet or
There's spices on the spice rack, the whole house is completely furnished
It's almost like they're going out of their way to film every single piece of evidence that there's actually people living there
So they just walk around in the dark for a little bit, which is fun
I'll admit, but I really just want to see Dolphin man.
I mean, that's the reason I clicked on the video
Where is this magical dolphin man?
Oh!
There he is
It's dolphin man! Yay
This is dolphin man. It's just a dude painted gray in a diaper.
So is he like a superhero? Does he have any?
powers?
Or he just...
screeches
Awww
That was actually kind of sad
Poor little guy - he looked so excited when he saw them
He got up and started screeching and running towards them. He was so happy
And these assholes just booked it
I think all they wanted was a friend. That's probably why people heard him screeching at night
He's probably just lonely
Ohh thank goodness
They've handed it off to the police
Because they've been so helpful in the past
I'm sure that this will get resolved in no time
Boss, we just got footage of this little dolphin man inside the old house on Johnson Street.
Hmm. Looks like the second they saw him
They started screaming and running around
It certainly does sir.
Looks like they're having a lot of fun playing with that little dolphin man
We better not interrupt.
Huh, I guess that's why you're the sheriff.
I guess it is. And I guess that's why you're my best friend
thanks :)
So there you have it, that's the tale of the worst paranormal investigators in the entire world
Now as much as it's silly to sit here and complain about these videos
I don't want you leaving this video thinking about how bad the videos were or how fake they were
How little they helped the people who needed them.
I want you to leave this video thinking about dolphin man
Dolphin man.
Alright, thank you guys for watching this video
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I'll see you guys next time with a really interesting video where I get lost in the mall and can't find my mommy
Bye :)
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