No she's a really powerful
woman, that Ariana,
she's a very very powerful
woman, and very smart.
You gotta be to be able to
ruin Starbucks for a person.
(crowd laughing)
I walked into Starbucks
the other day, I was like,
"Hey, man, can I have a medium coffee?"
and the guy was like...
(crowd laughing)
And I was like "Fuck you.
I'll go to Dunkin' Doughnuts."
(crowd laughing)
Why are they getting rid
of them in this city?
I can't find one.
(crowd laughing)
A lot of people ask me all the time like,
"what what was that like"?
It's like any other break up,
just except everybody sees it.
Uh, yeah.
It's just like, I didn't
know what I was get,
I kinda knew what I was
getting into, but not really.
I didn't know about the picture thing.
If I knew about that I would have seen
a dermatologist before I started dating.
(crowd laughing)
I would've like taken proper precaution.
But it's like any other break up.
You have your boys over.
They all lie to you.
They're like "Dude. No problem, bro
(mimicking sounds)
"Nobody even knows who she is.
(crowd laughing)
"Bro, it's all good, bro.
"It's all good, better off, no problem."
Then that song came out
and my friends were like,
"Bro, I love you.
"I love you right?
"Shit is catchy.
(crowd laughing)
"Shit is very catchy.
"You're gonna have a rough eight months.
"I'm sorry, bro, sorry.
(crowd laughing)
"I actually happen to
like the song I'm sorry.
(crowd laughing)
"I like you, but..."
(crowd laughing)
(Pete laughing)
My grandpa's, he goes, "it's a slap.
(crowd laughing)
"Peter, Peter, it's a slap.
"I'm really sorry.
(crowd laughing)
"It's a good song and I don't
even listen to that shit."
And I was like "I get it!"
(crowd laughing)
(Peter laughing)
But yeah.
This is the only thing I didn't
like that I got out of it,
which is a common misconception.
I don't like that she talked all the shit,
on like on behalf of my dick.
I thought was like super weird.
She was like "Yeah it didn't
work out but like nice dick".
I thought that was really weird,
cause like everybody was like
"oh, what a nice a girl".
(crowd laughing)
First of all lets take a step back.
Can you imagine if I said that shit?
(crowd laughing)
You imagine if I was like,
"Sorry it didn't work out.
"Nice pussy dawg!
"That shit wet, whoa!
(crowd laughing)
"Good pussy but sorry."
(crowd laughing)
(Peter laughing)
It's ridiculous.
(crowd laughing)
That I had to sit there like...
(crowd laughing)
Yeah this is the only
thing, I didn't like it
because it's just simply not true.
Yeah yeah it's just not.
She has tiny little hands.
(crowd laughing)
She has just very little hands.
Everything's fucking huge to her.
(crowd laughing)
Yeah it's a fucking joke the
entire time we were dating.
I was like "huge to you
but small to everyone else.
"This rocks!"
(crowd laughing)
So you ask yourself, you're like why?
Then why?
If she knows this information,
then why would she tell everybody,
what a great big penis you have?
Right.
Why should she do that?
Cause to the outside you're like
"Wow, what a nice lady?
"Didn't work out gave him a nice word.
(crowd laughing)
Told everybody he has nice penis right?"
That's not why.
She did that so that...
No, she's genius remember this.
She's a very smart person okay.
She did that so every
girl that sees my dick,
for the rest of my life, is disappointed.
(crowd laughing)
Genius!
(crowd laughing)
It's a lifetime L.
(crowd laughing)
Hold that.
(crowd laughing)
I didn't even get to
enjoy my big dick summer,
or whatever the fuck it was called.
(crowd laughing)
Please stop doing that.
I have a family that reads.
(crowd laughing)
Stop.
(Pete laughing)
My poor mother.
(crowd laughing)
