And so...it ends.
(Tiffany)
Professor, are you okay?
- Are you all right?
-- We came as fast as we could.
I'm fine. I wasn't in last night.
That was lucky.
Everything is gone.
The unicorn horn, the spatial displacer...Edna's blood.
Wait, what was that last one?
Sounds like whoever did this really wanted to hurt you.
(Razina gasps)
Razina!
(Tiffany)
Eww! A gross old man. Make him go away.
(Roger)
Oh no, it's--!
Uh, what was his name again?
Jebediah.
You're behind this, I assume.
I have the blood you want.
The blood you need.
I'm taking her to Breckmore Peaks.
Meet us there in 3 hours and we'll negotiate.
Razina!
(Jebediah laughs)
What's all this about blood?
You got some 'splainin' to do.
Fine, fine.
I suppose now is as good a time as any.
(Tiffany)
What's he doing?
Gather 'round.
It's time I told you the tale that is my life.
Well, the important bits anyway.
I am immortal.
My name is Abraham
and I was born in a little town on the edge of Ohio named Peppercorn
in the year 1894.
None of you seem surprised at this revelation.
We picked up on some clues over the years.
Plus being with you has kinda desensitized us to a lot of weird stuff.
Like most young people at that time, I got married.
(Roger)
To Ruth?
(Professor)
No, that happened much later.
Her name was Abigail.
In retrospect, it was only a marriage of convenience
but at that time I seemed to care for her immensely.
Tragically, she became very ill 9 days after the wedding.
Her sickness was brutal and drained her life force dry.
I remember all to well that final night in her bedroom.
She tried to sit up
but her weak body tumbled off the bed
and as soon as she hit the floor, all her limbs separated from their respective sockets.
After that moment, I became obsessed with death, the occult, and science.
I practically lived in the library doing all kinds of research
looking for a way to cheat death.
Three friends joined me on my quest.
You may be familiar with their names:
Ruth
Louise
and, yes
Jebediah.
After years of searching, we made a breakthrough.
The legend of Cuchulain spoke of Hawk's Well
a spring in Ireland that granted immortality to those who drank from it.
We found evidence confirming its existence.
We went on a long journey, both physically and mentally
but we finally reached our destination.
As we scaled the cliffs, there was a sudden landslide
the spring was about to be buried!
We had a small window both to reach and to drink the water
but Louise lost her footing.
I was the closest to her.
I froze for a moment in thought as I weighed my options
and decided to leave her.
I chose the spring over Louise
and she fell off the cliff to her death.
I could have saved her.
Ruth and I made it to the spring and drank.
But Jebediah, still in shock at Louise's death
abstained on principle.
He loved Louise and has resented me ever since that day, so long ago.
What a story.
Yeah, I guess.
But that still doesn't explain the blood.
Yes, the blood.
Due to the human body
the fact that it constantly replaces old cells with new
the immortality from Hawk's Well isn't permanent.
There our two ways of renewal:
drink again from Hawk's Well
which is now impossible
or drink human blood
Virgin blood.
Too bad I can't be a donor anymore.
(laugh)
Whether you can donate or not isn't the point.
We still need to meet Jebediah to rescue Razina.
(car door slam)
(Tiffany)
This place smells gross.
Ahh, right on schedule.
Punctual as always, Professor.
I'm here, Jebediah.
Now return Razina to us.
I'll gladly return her.
But wouldn't you rather have this fine blood I've procured?
What's the catch?
What are you doing?!
(grunt)
(Tiffany)
Raz!
(Carl)
What the hell?!
I thought I'd recreate the fateful day
where you let Louise, dear Louise
fall to her death for your own selfish desire!
But why?
There's no point to doing such a--
Is there?!
I want to expose you as the subhuman worm you really are.
We're coming, Razina!
(Jebediah)
Nuh-uh-uh.
This is the Professor's decision to make.
Just tell me what to do to save her!
You have to choose between her life and the blood.
It's that simple.
(Roger)
Easiest decision ever, right Professor?
I...
I...
You want to keep your immortality, don't you?
Oh no...
Professor, come on!
Professor, don't let her fall!
You're nothing but an addict, Professor.
Or should I say...
Abraham?
Abraham the coward?
(Carl)
For the love of...
(Roger)
Professor!
(grunt)
(grunt)
(Jebediah)
You...
What did you...?
- I'm done.
But you can't.
This isn't you!
I've changed, Jebediah.
Phew, close one.
(Razina)
I thank you.
(Tiffany)
Hey, what are friends for?
No one can ever truly change.
Maybe not
but I'll do the best I can to redeem myself of past sin.
From this day forward, I will no longer drink blood.
I hereby renounce my immortality.
(Roger)
For realsies?
You're lying!
You can't...you won't!
People CAN change, Jebediah.
You must accept that.
Maybe in time, we can change our relationship.
We were once the best of friends, maybe--
- That's enough!
I don't want to hear it.
We will never be friends!
Never is such an absolute.
So it is.
- Wait! Stop!
(Carl)
Holy shit.
Guess he'd rather die than be friends with you again, huh?
Razina, you okay?
I'm fine.
Well, that's that.
Mortal again...
Months ago
Razina and I encountered future versions of myself
who warned me of what was to come.
WHO I would become.
I didn't want to become such a person bereft of ethics and compassion.
Now it all makes sense.
What's gonna to happen?
I'll start aging again.
And I'm absolutely fine with that.
We'll be with you every step of the way, man.
Come, let's all go out for ice cream.
My treat.
(laugh)
My treat.
