Greetings my lovelies! Hello, it's Emmy. Welcome back to another retro edition of 'You Made What?!' Today, I'll be making a Balogna cake.
So big thanks to Hannah for getting in touch with me via Facebook and sending me a reminder of this wonderful
retro recipe. This recipe is pretty straightforward:
we're going to take our beloved bologna
and sculpt ourselves a cake which can be served as a lovely appetizer.
And if you like these kinds of recipes be sure to check out the playlist which includes gelatin molds and Vienna sausages.
Alright, let's go ahead and get started. As I mentioned, Hannah sent me a link for recipe for this video,
and I did a little bit more research and all of the recipes are pretty much the same. We're going to take some cream cheese --
I've had the sitting out on the counter for about an hour or so,
so it's nice and soft -- and we are going to empty a package and a half, twelve ounces of cream cheese.
Nice and soft.
Next we are going to add half a package of Ranch salad dressing mix.
It's hard to judge half....
a little bit more....
That looks about right.
Next I'm going to take a little...
yes, my cream cheese wrapper just fell onto the floor.
Great.
Next I'm going to take a rubber spatula and mix this all together.
So I didn't realize until I moved abroad that Ranch is a very American thing. When I lived in Japan
Ranch was not to be found anywhere, and I've read it's not readily available in Europe either....
Which I find interesting because in the U.S. Ranch is everywhere!
It's delicious by the way, if you've never had it. Alright, so now that we have our frosting/glue
prepared, now we can assemble.
What I've done here is I've cut out a piece of cardboard and wrapped it in foil and put it on this little lazy
Susan turntable here, so it'll be easier to frost. And I'm going to spread a little layer
on the bottom of this.
Open up our Balogna....
Whoa, I just sprayed Balogna juice everywhere. Wow!
It smells just like I remember. So, now -- Oh! I just squirted myself in the eye!
Gosh.. who knew Bologna cake-making was so dangerous? Now we're going to layer our Bologna.
Plink!
And then it says to put about a teaspoon between each layer.
This is already wanting to slide around.
So that's tricky.
Okay. So far I have one layer of bologna. So, I'm going to remove a little bit of the moisture off my sheet of bologna,
and maybe that will keep it from sliding a little.
And frost away! That does seem to help.
Blot.
Stick!
Blot.
Yeah, that definitely helps. So, blot your Balogna. All right, I'm going to do this for all layers.
Oh my gosh, my nail polish is the same color as the Balogna. That's kind of disgusting.
Oh yeah, that's satisfying!
Make the turntable work for you....
So now that we have 12 layers of Balogna, now I'm going to use the remaining cream cheese and cover this entire cake.
And I highly recommend using an offset spatula for this -- it makes the job so much easier, and so
much more satisfying. Oh and a turntable helps, too.
[Upbeat music]
That looks pretty good.
Put it onto a little plate.
Now we're gonna take some cheese in a can and decorate our cake.
[Upbeat music]
Whooo-wheee!
That's gorgeous y'all. Look at that. I'm so happy about that
[Upbeat music]
Oh yeah!
That is lovely! Lovely!
So happy about that! To make this feel ultimately retro, I'm going to add some pimento-stuffed olives to the very top.
[Upbeat music]
All right, will you look at this thing of beauty?
It is so amazing. I'm so happy about how this turned out. All right, can't wait to cut this open.
Ah, ha, ha! Look at that!
That's amazing!
Isn't it beautiful? Look at all those lovely pink layers,
separated with that cream cheese.
Beautiful! I'm gonna grab myself a buttery Ritz cracker,
and slice
myself a piece of this cake.
Itadakimasu!
You know what, it's kind of great... in a totally over-processed, decadent kind of way.
This is very, very salty. I think I could have used about half as much as I put on that last cracker
Balogna, of course, is very, very salty and the Ranch dressing in there is really salty.
I'm glad I only use half a package to that amount of cream cheese because any more than that
I think it would be too heavy.
So this is processed food heaven -- you've got the very salty ,smoky
softly textured Balogna that is enrobed in cream cheese that is filled with this very strong
Ranch dressing flavor --
it actually goes really well together -- and then you've got the spray cheese for a little additional color and a punch of
fake American cheese flavor.
Hm!
But almost most importantly, you've got that really great crunchy buttery Ritz crack around the bottom there
that's a really great foil to all of that kind of homogenous softly textured stuff that you've got going in the Balogna cake.
This is great if you're going to have a retro party; a Mad Men party --
I highly recommend this. This would be perfect. It is stunning. It looks incredible, and for what it is, it doesn't taste that bad either.
Alright. Thank you guys so much for joining me!
Big thanks again to Hannah for suggesting this and sending me the recipe links. And if you guys have a recipe that you want to see
me test out be sure to send it my way. All right, thank you guys so much for joining me!
Hope you guys enjoyed that one!
I hope you guys learned something. Share this video with your friends; follow me on social media;
and I shall see you on my next video. Toodaloo! Take care! Bye!!!
Oh, be sure to check out my bee vlogs, too -- I've been keeping bees,
And I just recently put a new vlog up, so be sure to check that out as well. All right, Toodaloo! Take care. Bye    (.❛ ᴗ ❛.)
*Duck quacking noises*
