Hello, you beautiful people.
Thank you for joining me for this yoga video.
If your day was anything like mine,
it was filled with pain and heartbreak,
so let's just fucking get started.
We'll be starting in our cross-legged position.
You should be sitting as flat as possible,
if this is uncomfortable, uh,
you should just get used to it,
because life isn't about what makes
you comfortable or happy.
You should be pulling your navel forward,
lengthening your spine, bringing your
head over your heart.
This is probably how
you should live your life all the time.
Head over heart.
Maybe think instead of feeling all the time.
Just fucking think!
And you know, just bring your shoulders
up to your ears,
and roll them back into place.
Just shrug your shoulders back like you're
shrugging off all the lies he told you.
I always like to come into this moment
with integrity.
Whatever that may mean to you.
It might mean body awareness, noticing
any pain or tension.
Uh, it might mean mind awareness,
just noticing where your thoughts go.
It might even mean being monogamous
when you say you're going to be monogamous.
But we don't really know what
integrity means to everyone, do we?
Let's just take a deep breath.
We should come into this active body
with a sense of ease.
The same ease with which
he slipped his active body onto someone else.
If you find that your shoulders have risen again, 
one way to bring them back down
is by bringing your hands
into this prayer position.
By bringing your hands together
and towards your chest,
your shoulders should also fall into place.
If you're religious this is also the time
that you might ask
for forgiveness for slashing his tires.
Bring your left hand behind you,
place your right hand on your knee,
and gently look over your shoulder.
As if you're watching your back,
because no one else is going to.
Normally we repeat this on the other side,
but I'm not really in the mood to look back,
are you?
Now, as you inhale, you're going to
lead with your heart, like an idiot.
And as you exhale, round your
shoulders and sink into your anguish.
Lead with your heart like a dumbass.
Round your shoulders
and sink into your shame.
I know we were just getting started,
but it seems like that's
when people like to end things.
So, let's just skip straight to Shavasana,
or Corpse Pose.
Lie on your back.
Your feet should fall to either side.
Your shoulder blades
should be touching the floor.
Like with so much in yoga,
your heart should be forward,
just waiting to be stabbed.
Now, we'll take a few deep breaths
to completely
give up.
[screaming]
Why?
Hey, y'all!
Thank you so much for watching.
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And I think you would.
I don't know what it is yet,
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if you would like to contribute in that way.
Thank you for hanging out with me,
I really appreciate it,
and I will see you next week.
[upbeat techno music]
