How I Met Twin Monogamous Mister Bonds

Story & Screenplay by CC LeBlanc

© 1mai2020 All rights reserved, no part shall be copied, reproduced or plagiarized without consent of the author. This is a work of creative fiction except for the real parts.

If you are not fluent in Aussie, you will require an interpreter or some dialogue will go over your head.

Dedicated to all Essential Workers & everyone helping us get to the other side. If I were Queen, I would give you all Purple Hearts, bonuses & lovely holidays somewhere lovely.

~MERCI BEAUCOUP FOR ALL YOU DO~

especially Beau,Cleo,Tina,Nader,Zeina,Aya & Jado

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." Charles Dickens couldn't have known about COVID-19 however The Tale of Two Titties, oops, I mean Cities certainly applies today- 12 Avril, Easter Sunday, 2020. This is the tale of how inadvertently a single, mid-life American met her favorite characters under quarantine. It is proof that ANYTHING is possible when you believe in the magical powers of love & benevolent forces of the universe.

For all the Red Sox fans, Feverpitch fans, hum along for the others who don't know "Love That Dirty Water" song... imagine the view from a drone showing the world the empty streets flying over Massachusetts General Hospital, the Healing Garden, up & over Beacon Hill, golden dome reflecting the sun of the Massachusetts State House, Boston Common, Boston Garden, over Commonwealth Avenue to Fenway Park, over Boston University East Campus, Mid-campus, over the BU bridge, over the Little League field, Morse Elementary school playground, up Pearl Street, rising over a 300 year-old heritage elm tree, hovers above a roof deck with a cabbage green French bistro set, two large white planters with popsicle stick markers watermelon, pumpkin, cucumber, two tan plastic rectangular window boxes with furnace filter wire over the top to keep the squirrels from digging up the sunflower seeds, 2 gunsmoke metal raised boxes with lavender seeds, 4 large white bags of Vermont Organic Potting soil, large galvanized vintage watering can, a loveseat made of upcycled pallet wood, a rusting snake planter upside down, a small wisteria twig with some early green buds in a white glass vase, a dead lemon tree in an old enamel basin and a turquoise hand-blown glass hummingbird feeder, just outside the apartment window, a black cat with a twitching tail looks up at the drone and makes that quivering sound that only a stalking cat can trill. The drone lowers to the window and peeks inside to capture the white iron clawed bathtub with a philodendron growing up and around the metal without a shower curtain. There's an early elementary school watercolor of half a paper kimono above the white porcelain toilet, an early elementary school watercolor with pen & ink of bugs above a field with puffy clouds and a sun peeking from one corner next to the white vanity, purple jasmine mint Marvis toothpaste tube and a bamboo toothbrush left out, black cotton yoga pants and black cotton top abandoned on the floor. A white cotton drawstring bag hangs from the back of the door with red, gray & cobalt L'Adventure Belgian lingerie hanging out. White towels, white bath mat and a blue Greek mosaic dolphin beach towel behind the tub, an enamel roasting pan with grass seed cat litter and scoop are tucked under the back of the tub...trail of litter on the black & white tile floor. The drone zooms down the hallway, past the back of the entry door with a hanging rack of variety of leather bags, including a black patent leather vintage revealing an attractive 56 year-old woman wearing a turquoise & brown large polka dot 60's 'ish dress-totally coincidence trending Beacon's closet, an eggplant purple cashmere sweater, red reading glasses, a petite silver dolphin earring in the #2 pierced left earlobe,her auburn hair up in a clip, 37 salve and white cotton rag around her neck, with heating pad plugged into the exposed outlet next to the bed. A large split leaf philodendron named Henri after Matisse, in a large black Greek urn pot atop a wire stand, is flashing two brand new bright green leaves. The bed covers are disheveled, suggesting she's had passionate wild Easter bunny jumping sex, a rechargeable purple vib is plugged into the wall on one corner of the foot of the bed. A grand, Italian antique gold mirror leaning against the wall, a pile of white cotton sheets on the other foot of the bed corner, crisp from being laundered and air dried on the roofdeck the day prior. She's sipping her favorite Creme de la Earl Grey tea, writing morning pages on college-ruled filler paper with a Lamy mechanical pencil.

"Once upon a time, at 8:15 EDT on Easter morning, 2020, I woke to the sound of my rescue 6.5 year old kitten Cleo, pawing the covers. I groggily shuffled to the kitchen in my funky, straw red house slippers, got a block of freeze-dried rabbit from the metal pantry tin marked Sugar, crumbled half of it on a small ceramic sushi sauce dish with painted cat faces, set it on the floor as Cleo head-butted and rubbed up along my shin, then crumbled the other half into a homemade plastic puzzle toy for her to play with later, peed and trundled back to bed, in just my underwear."

"When I thought I woke up for the second time that day, I must have been dreaming...because where the feather bed had been rolled & propped up on the pillow next to me, was none other than Teddy! For weeks I'd been watching "The Dressmaker" almost daily since March 3rd, as I had it from the public library on DVD. I'd been thinking a lot about Teddy, the main character in the Australian film. I want a real life Teddy, one that lives. He is so sweet, strong, family-oriented, athletic, patient, kind, handsome and lovely manners! When I first saw Mr. Liam in the film, I was struck by Aussie lightning. I'd never ever seen a Hemsworth before. I guess it's official that with my multiple concussions, as an American to not know who any of the Hems boys are...I live under a rock.

So I rolled over and laid my head on his chest, put my thigh over his and tickled his obliques softly with my manicured fingernails, just barely touching his skin. He shivered and said 'how bad', which without having graduated from Aussie English class, I interpreted as 'More please" I licked my lips and softly nibbled just under his jaw, down his neck to the end of his clavicle and then lickety-split my knickers were off and my eyes were shooting Tinkerbell Sparkles. I was hot and raring to go. I hummed, then purred and said 'Your wish is my command. Monogamous Monsieur Bond, qu'est-ce que tu veux?'

"Oo-la-la," his tongue garbled. I laughed and thought he would know how devoted I was by now. I practically knew all the lines of the entire film.

"What is it that you want? I will give you everything 110% Olympic lovemaking. I've been practicing while you've been ankle biter making with Gabriella."

He coughed, choking, chuckled and made a timeout sign. He sat up and turned to face her straight on.

"What? Don't be upset. It's not like you're cheating or anything. I mean, she doesn't know me and you don't know me and I don't really know you accept, well, I've seen enough interviews to feel like I know you, I mean maybe we were together for like a zillion previous lifetimes?" I get chatty when I'm nervous. I didn't want him to leave so soon.

"I shouldn't have told you that. Oh shit. Did I crack your shits? Oh, please, please, please. Don't be crook. Oh, you're all crickey, here, here. Let me make it, let me kiss it and make it all better," putting on my best optimistic expression. His expression however is baffled, bewildered, curious, comical, shocked, "Fuck me dead."

My face morphed to quizzical, I called a time out and said "Stay right there. Don't move, don't go anywhere. I'll be right back." I hopped out of bed, ran to my desk and thanked the universe for my pocket Aussie-English dictionary. I was madly page-turning until I found it-

"Fuck me dead"- means that surprises me." Audible escape of relief breath, I put it back, closed the drawer and sprinted back to bed, grinning 'She'll be apples.'

He laughed, rolled his eyes, looked up to the ceiling, ran his hand over his forehead then beard then trying not to crack up, he licks his lips and purses them together. Anyone who's watched even one interview with a ridiculously stupid question, has seen this signature Liam.

"Can I make it Ripper raft?" He can't help cracking up, a middle aged female American attempting to flirt in Aussie. I go to tickle him but he grabs my wrist with my wiggling fingers away from his body, "I want to stoke you." I squeal, he doesn't know my nickname in ice hockey was Weasel. I immediately swing my other hand before he can catch it as she snaps his boxer brief elastic band. "Oh, no you don't!" he declares and without a bell or referee, co-ed WWE bed wrestling is on. "I want to be your bloody Fair Dinkum in da Pool room Sheila!" He laughs harder, we wrestle some more, but I'm quick and somehow wiggle around to straddle on top of him then pressing my feet into the mattress, heaving as if pushing a 2 ton sled, with all my might to force his chest back down on to the mattress. "I want to be your Sweetabus Maximus! Your Slip, Slap, Slop!" She chants the "Not happy Jan. No Gary songs." Now he's holding his sides, he's crying, he's laughing so hard. "Oh my God, how do you know all this?" he gasps with amazement.

"Call 13 303 to," I sing "30 40 42," just for added flare.

Then I sang the Banana Boat Frog song, in the Frog voice.

"No, no, no, no. No, ahh," then I stopped and said 'that dearie, get still, serious and take a deep breath.' He stops laughing and then she grabs his hands "1/3 oo6 triple 506". And his jaw drops.

"By the way, what's the Sultana?"

Then he had one hand on each side of my face, kissed me full on, I squealed and giggled, "Can we have Chicken Tonight tomorrow because today's Easter so we should have Greek Easter lamb kebabs. Rhonda. Yes, Rhonda."

The moment was broken by my cell phone chiming, "It's time!" We both turned towards the mechanical voice and then look back at each other, in unison. "It's time"

"It's time for a quickie." I said kissing down his torso. "That's my reminder, Zoom Brain Injury Peer support call in 10 minutes. Alrighty, then it's Father's Day and then Easter," My code for bj is Father's Day, guessing that's what all Father's really want on Father's Day.

Additionally to "The Dressmaker" I had stumbled across, "Can You Keep A Secret?" on hoopla one night when none of the French films felt quite right. Again, struck by lightning by a male actor I hadn't heard of before, who as it turns out has been a famous celebrity for decades. His name is Jack, funny, sweet, intelligent, entrepreneurial, single, attentive, polite, handsome, buff and has been grief stricken...so I promptly fell in love with him too.

At some point while I was making love to Teddy, suddenly Jack appeared, and my world exploded. "Whoa! Oh my God!" I grabbed some bedcovers concealing my breasts.

"I have never imagined being in a threesome, EVER and here you two are, and oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God, you are both here and it's just me with my legs up in the air imagining. Oh my God. Ah, wow! Oh my God, oh, you are here too?!...um, here I am with Teddy AND Jack....oh my sweet Tilly Emma sweet cakes...whatever am I going to do?"

I promptly excused myself to get dressed, went to the kitchen to make some tea for everyone and thought this is truly an opportune moment. Not the way you are thinking, lift your minds up from the gutters...I decided to take advantage of getting some hard core insider information. Here were two IRL Monogamous Mister Bonds...perhaps they could help; bringing in the tea tray, passing each their mug, I mentioned a few PG-13 online dating disasters and asked for advice.

"I just don't get it, I hate it when they write me, 'Why is someone like you on the internet?' I mean 'Duh! Nobody asks me for coffee or anything!' I really don't get it. Why do they say they like my profile, MY profile, but we're not a match. I mean if you like my profile wouldn't that mean that you would like me? I am ME, I wrote my profile! One guy wrote me that I am intimidating, wtf is that about?!" They chuckle and sip their tea, listening.

"Well, maybe they are thinking that lots of women don't put real things in their profiles, the pictures are old or photoshopped, things are made up, faked or outright lies." said Jack. Teddy nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, someone once told me he has 3 deal-breakers, he won't shave his beard for a woman, he'll always be a techie nerd and I forget the last one." Another time I'd asked other brain injury survivors about dating and they had all said "Internet or Apps."

"I suppose it makes sense to come up with my top three to five must-haves. Then just be ruthless, it's SO time consuming! And I'm sick of Grandpa's emailing me, I don't want to date my dad for fricks sake. It's discouraging, no it's beyond discouraging, it's, it's outright depressing! I once wrote that they should be able to run faster than me and a number of them wrote, too much arthritis...I won't be able to keep up. In other ways my cohort hasn't taken much care of themselves, they over work, have stressful co-parenting juggling, they say they want romance but how they communicate proves they need a new dictionary. Maybe I just need to give it more of a chance. Recently my aunt said, "If it's God's will, they say it will happen when you least expect it."

I looked at Teddy & Jack, "Maybe it's not going to happen this lifetime?! How the hell do I make God willing?" I mumbled, blushed, embarrassed by my dating incompetence in front of two men who have probably had lines miles/kilometers long of women throwing themselves at their feet.

"Don't take this personally Jack, but American men are just so primitive compared to the European, Middle Eastern, Scandavian or Greek men I've met. (And I suspect Aussies included) They wear ironed button-down shirts, they have more than jeans for pants, even a tie, have real non-trainer shoes, insanely intoxicating cologne, they're able to have conversations about the world, they listen, are polite and respectful. They really love the women in their lives; mothers, sisters, girlfriend, labmates, teammates. Boston is so provincial! Everyone's in such a hurry, no one looks around to enjoy a passing attractive person and that was pre-pandemic! I don't know, I suppose it would be nice to get to know someone through writing and phone calls, being long distance even if you live across the street, to find out who's true blue. But it feels like I have to look at a line-up 400 and I just don't have the cognitive reserves for that. Ok, I gotta go catch my brain injury Peer Support group. Please stay right here, don't go away."

After the Zoom call, I felt rejuvenated, connected, cared for, listened to and with all the dating conversation, I realized it's been 15 years...I DO want to find someone, someone of my very own, MY Monogamous James Bond. Not just Teddy and Jack, I watched over & over with the same lines every time...they aren't real, I want someone in the flesh. Needing a distraction from the sadness of the challenge of searching for the Holy Grail mate task, like hundreds of thousands, I went to YouTube. Once again the universe dished up high quality, I stumbled upon Nathaniel Drew, interviewing his polyglot Grandma, in Arabic, French, Italian, Hebrew, Spanish, Greek and English. They effortlessly went in and out of languages like a stunt motorcyclist weaves traffic about the L'Arc de Triomphe on Bastille Day.

The Hebrew and Arabic subtitles were lovely, she laughed delighted that she knew a little Greek, most French, some Arabic, some Italian, some Spanish, and of course English. Only at the very end did she briefly turn to face the camera, shy polyglot. I relate, don't like my picture taken, feels really exposing even with all my clothes on.

I subscribed to his channel, watched more videos including a cliffhanger, 'Stranded in Paris Alone'. Triggered flashbacks to my time in Paris, during the terrorist bombings, September 1986. A waiter had said my mother and I were "Brave Americans." Stupid Americans, foolish, ignorant women with noone watching out for us. On the 4th day of bombings, I was mortified, MORTIFIED, when my mother decided the thing to do was to go to the American Embassy and ask THEM what we should do. After an extensive security check, amongst many Marines, in full metal jacket, AK-47s, bombproof vests,et al, we finally reached the inner sanctum. Approaching a Marine maybe just one or two years older than me or perhaps exactly my age, my meek, 5'2" mother queried the gigantic, testosterone oozing Marine. " Lady, you have an American passport, if you don't like it here, go home." He succinctly informed, verbally flicking us aside, four thousand shades of red flushed through me, as I shrunk myself as small as possible to the floor and backed out onto the streets of Paris. We took the Hovercraft from Calais back to the Cliffs of Dover, then on to London cutting short our week in Paris, my graduation gift.

'"This isn't terrorism or war," as Monsieur Drew mentioned, "We have solidarity, we're all equally into this together."

Indeed, no one is invincible, we are acutely aware if willing to face it, our mortality, our humanness. The images of the Parisiens clapping on their balconies at 20:00 every evening. Maybe I will just go out at 20:00. Every night and chime my Tibetan bells for three rings and say some prayers. I'd recently learned that Mother Teresa was Albanian, that she'd gone to Rome for her religious instruction then the Albanian dictator closed the border so she couldn't return home so that's how she ended up on her mission to Calcutta.

I'd briefly seen that the USA, has had more deaths than any other country, being taken to task for not having adequate leadership, disaster bio disaster management, the CDC and health officials. No one wanted to step up and say evacuate the University's! What freaking chicken sh*ts, no freakin' balls in the face of a pandemic that swept across the globe with PLENTY of time to see it coming...like a slow moving tsunami of death. Hollywood & video games have been dishing up this for decades, so everyone seems numb & in disbelief of reality. Nobody in a position of power with the Federal government, was willing to take a shred of responsibility. The curtain is up world, now you see America for what it is, the Mighty Greedy Capitalistic Machine, chews up the poor, disabled, elderly, children, indigent, people of color, indigenous peoples and has them for breakfast, lunch & dinner. This ain't no Disneyland.

I went to Instagram to follow Nathaniel Drew there as well.

Boom! Liam in bed, black and white photo, with espresso?! 'Stay safe, stay home, stay in bed!" I messaged him happily. "Happy baby-making!" I swung my fist around hitting the bolster square in the "chest". "I just f'king Instagrammed You! Connected we're all connected! We are freely communicating! Merci universe!!! This is crazy!"

I lay between the two of them, Teddy and Jack and said "Look you each have your own Babes, ah, Ladies. I want my version of you, a no-GMO hybrid. I want my Monogamous James Bond Superhero, Extraordinary Superman, Teddy Jack. So here's the deal. The two of you are going to screen my Match.com and weed out all the riffraff and bozos because it's bloody buggered. You in? Pretend you are defiant as you advocate for a damsel in distress, like if your mom or your aunt were widowed and looking for a mate you would one hundred percent step up to make sure she found a legit 'All In' Lancelot, right?"

As I lay between them I'd turn my head to Teddy, on my right and Jack on my left, saying "Come on guys. You'll do it, right? For me, please? I promise I will be your baby Whisperer Nanny forEVER as long as you need or want. I was the eldest of 16, I have skills."

Both of them look shocked, "16!?!", they said in unison. "Yep, only my sister survived. I was pretty grief stricken as a kid, the last of 13 foster babies was adopted when I was 9yo. Here I am 56 years old, having the hottest sex of my life, it's 100% imaginary. How can imaginary love-making be so freaking hot?"

They smirked into their mugs and shrugged their shoulders in unison.

"Here's the dealio. I give you the password and you screen ,shield, deflect and eventually you let me know when there's someone, THE Someone cut of the same cloth as you, someone who will appreciate me, who will be my Indiana Jones, my Crocodile Dundee, my Paul Newman to Joanne Woodward, my Paul Novak to Mae West, my Spencer Tracy to Katharine Hepburn, my Jesus to Mary Magdalene.

"Wow, wow. Wow." Teddy & Jack say in unison.

"Isn't that what Steve Jobs said as he was dying? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Okay. Look, I'm like the Thoroughbred at the gate waiting for the bell, for it to open so I can sprint like my hair is on fire, cross the finish line ahead of everyone and then keep sprinting because I'm so happy to be able run again after too many concussions. Okay, Mr. Harper, and Mr. McSweeney, be my wingmen?" I put out my hand like the players in an old school huddle, they each slap a hand on top and once we have all hands stacked "All in" we said in unison and laughed.

I put on "Can You Keep A Secret?" playing on hoopla in the background, put on a sassy Marie Jo lAdventure knickers and brassiere from the bedroom cabinet. Went into the kitchen and made a Bondini with St. James Martinique clear rum and 100% organic cranberry juice from VT. I refilled my LifeStream water bottle, returned to the bedroom doorway, nipples at attention from the cold through the colbalt blue sheer brassiere. "I need you men to filter out the douchebags, sift through all the riffraff for the gold, my MMB!"

They both laughed, looked at each other,

"How hard can that be?"

"Sure."

"No probs."

"No worries."

"We got this."

I shook my head thinking they have no idea how many dickheads there are out there. So they will see, I went back into Match.com, reopened my profile, Easter Sunday. I was dancing to the music of the "Can You Keep A Secret" scene when they are ripping off their clothes, intense with passion. Emma's, super intimidated by Jack's rock hard abs, that he's probably had sex with lots of supermodels, models, gymnasts..." I'm with you there Emma...if Teddy or Jack gave me any time of day, I would be wondering when the other shoe would drop. That this was just a fling, that they weren't serious about anything they told me, that I was not even a notch in their belt.

Sipping my Bondini, I reactivated the match account and responded to a few. Not thrilled, but whatever.

"I'm back in the game, right? That's what matters, right?

I'm going to bawl like a little wuss now because you guys are real, Real men. I've never had a real man 100% Family Man, Hottie, committed to the Environment, philanthropy, the whole 9 yards..But just like Emma & Tilly, I deserve that 100% just like you deserve hot Babes who are 100% in your corner through thick and thin and everything in between. I want to believe it's possible for me, please. God make it possible for me, please. I don't want to be single for the rest of my life."

6:36 a.m. I wakes up, the cat wakes up. The lights are on, we all fell asleep. It was late, we all fell asleep, with the film running to the credits, hoopla star rating screen is up.

"Where's my Lamy?" I ask.

"Your what? Lambie, your baby sheep?" They rub their eyes. I searched in the covers.

"No, my German-made fantastic writing instrument."

"Your what? It's too early, it's not even 7:00 a.m."

" My pencil!" I madly pads down the covers around their bodies searching for it.

"When the Muse strikes, you jump and I mean as high as it says!"

They rub their eyes and both smile, their epic Peak physiques, shirtless, bearing witness to the gloriousness of fit masculinity.

"I fell asleep again 'To Can You Keep A Secret?' Limoncello Martinis or Bondini's, instagramming both of you until 3:00 or 4:00EDT? God knows what time it is in your zones... Am I, I have no shame, but I just wanted you to know me and how I really authentically truly am a true blue. I get you get weirdazz fan shit, I listened to Tim Ferriss'...you have to be wicked careful."

"What?" they say in unison.

"Look you boys know this. Once you get famous, there are crazies out there, stalkers, sociopaths, women whacky on estrogen, just want to get close to you."

They look at each other and say, "Yeah." nodding their heads.

"There are stalkers, sociopaths and crazies, but I'm just here, in my little Traumatic Brain Injured life, doing my little self-publishing, happy dancing, remote training roof deck planting thing. I am hoping for a service dog, can't imagine having a bodyguard. What the f- boys, I live a normal non- LA, non-Melbourne/Sydney/Outback, whatever life."

"Oh," they say together, shrugging their shoulders.

"What am I going to do? Stay home, social distancing, wash your hands for '20 seconds often', they chime in.

"No, no Tim Ferris says if you have ever ordered anything to your address, you're f'ed. I ordered furnace filters and flea meds and vitamins from CVS and resistance bands and champagne. Remember we celebrated my self publishing foi&GRÂCE?!"

"Wait, wait, calm down." Jack says.

"Never say your name when you email, use a pseudonym because they can Google you, they will Google you. Okay, like what Jesus Christ? How do you guys live like this? I've been a nobody my whole life."

"You're not a nobody," they say in unison.

"You know what I mean. Where's the 'Staying

Unstalked For Dummies' when you need it?"

They both laugh.

Wish I had that 15 years ago." Teddy says.

"Ditto" says Jack.

"Okay. I can't sleep, might as well make some tea. Want some?"

"Sure, if you're offering to get up,' Jack says.

"I need to take out my mouthguard and pee. Cleo's going to start pestering for a petit dejeuner soon. I need a big brother. I always wanted a big brother. Will you be my Big Brothers?"

They look at each other and grin.

"Okay, how about you're little big brothers. You know what I mean. I'm freaking out. Let's train!" Both men laugh, we all get up, make breakfast together and hit it. We stretched out indoors, did warm-ups, ran down the stairs and out the door. There are joggers with cobalt blue bandanas matching their Boston Strong t-shirts and sweatshirts. At the center point of the Boston University bridge, I scream "I love you Boston!" which vanishes into the wind as we briefly bask in the view from the Bridge. We jogged over the bridge, down the stairs to Storrow Drive/Charles River Boston side, outdoor gym, to have a chin-up contest. They take turns each lifting me up, so I can get in a couple assisted chin-ups. I did my job of interference between squirrels and Teddy. We did wind sprints at Magazine Beach, the seagulls and Canadian geese scoot then fly away. I showed them some goalkeeper handball drills, they smiled and laughed. I hugged the biggest heritage trees and introduced them to the Grand Dame Willow. I sat, taking a rest while Teddy and Jack took selfies and posted to social media.

Once back home, Teddy takes out a blender, making his famous smoothies. Jack takes out a dozen eggs to make an omelet, while I stood there speechless at it all. Then I set the table on the roof deck with my grandmother's 1940s table cloth, put on the kettle for tea and smiled at the shirtless gods in my kitchen. All the while I'm wearing my Boston Strong, Massachusetts General Hospital Blood Donor t-shirt and B Strong baseball cap from 2013 post-Marathon Bombings.

The next morning, I wake up on Jack's chest with Teddy spooning me.

"I want rock hard abs, two or at least a three pack" I whisper, as I start jumping two of my fingers on his belly and start singing "The wonderful thing about Tiggers, is Tiggers are wonderful things. Their tops are made out of rubber their bottoms are made out of springs" And I start to bounce back and forth between Jack's abs and Teddy's obliques, then crossing my arms, smirking, finishes the song "Tigger's are wonderful fellows.Tigger's are awfully sweet, Tigger's are something or other and that's why I repeat, repeat, Tiggers are something but the most of wonderful thing about Tiggers is, I'm the only one!" I spread my arms out across both of their chests, as they rub their eyes and laugh. "Today, boys. We jog the Charles, with wind. Supposed to be a storm today. So we train early after Petit dejeuner and as my son's Montessori directorís used to say "There is no bad weather, just inappropriate clothing."

They both raised their eyebrows and glance at each other, shrug and wink.

"Boston weather storm warning Monday, April 13th rain 100% wind gusts of 60 miles per hour. Stay away from forests and trees. No boats in the harbor." Teddy says reading the gale warning,"when the knots are that high we stay out of the water in Australia."

"Come on, boys, You afraid of a little Boston wind?"

Jack says, "Have you ever heard the term 'Blown Away'?"

Teddy says, "You're like what? 50 kilos Catz?"

"So worst case scenario, you'll both hold my hand and be my anchors."

"Your plants are amazing," Jack says.

"Don't tell anyone, I talk to them in English and French. I love them. I spray them with homemade anti-aphid potion and my son and I recently repotted them. Give them Neptune's foil formula and...um, I hesitate to tell one secret other thing."

"What?" they say in unison.

"You promise you won't freak out?" They give bewildered smirks and look at one another. I hand the tea-tray to Teddy. He puts it between the two of them.

"Okay, we're all grown-ups. I mean you" (pointing to Teddy) "had sex ed in school with your mom."

"Oh God." Jack looks at Teddy, "tell me you didn't."

"Oh, yeah mate sinceres."

"Okay," Jack says, "We're men, Superman and brother of the Gods we can handle it." He wiggles his fingers towards himself, grins, "Bring It On."

"Yes!" adds Teddy, sitting up, leaning forward.

" You're sure, 100% jeez Louise?" They nod their heads like get on with it already.

"I pour the contents of my Luna Cup in their pots."

"Oh! Nasty!" They both cringe, gag and have faces of disgust, cover their ears, moan, groan and shiver.

"Wimps! You promised you wouldn't freak!"

"I can't look at you ever again." Teddy says, Jack wipes tears from his eyes from laughing.

"Enough, enough scoot over I have to do my morning pages, planting lots and lots and lots to do boys before the weekend's over.To work, train, sew masks, baby quilt, knit baby hats, hydrate. And you're welcome. You just got a free ab work and fun ab workout, endogenous endorphins before breakfast. I focus in on my writing as they simultaneously reach over to the bedside wall shelfs, turn on their phones and start swiping.

I write 13avril 2020, day number twenty thousand, seven hundred forty-four. "I can't believe it. It's freaking awesome. I could directly messaging all three actors, tell them my strength coach was Eric Cressey, strength coach to Tim Ferriss & pro athletes. I was training alongside Major League Baseball pitchers. Made friends with later Royals pitchers Tim Collins and Chad Rogers on throwback Thursday, I dressed as '80s Madonna, was the only Sheila in the world's greatest playground, didn't tell anyone my age for fear of discrimination.

"One day I brought a bag of handballs to the gym daring Chad and Tim to shoot on me. Oh, that doesn't sound right. I made a few saves and one to my gut that made an impressive thud and they both went 'Augh!' Oh good times. That was a few months before the Dodge Hemi Ram squished my ultimate chick car, 2004 Aquarius blue VW Beetle convertible with a bronze mermaid hood ornament. Rear-ending me at about 60 miles an hour.

But let's stay positive. I'm making my come back 10 years 3 months and 13 days. Nope, plus leap day, makes 14 days. This is the happiest I've been in all of that time. Yeah, but, of course who wouldn't thrilled to be chilling with Teddy and Jack during quarantine, having Zorba/Rumi Olympic lovemaking, eating organic from Vermont, watching 'The Dressmaker' and 'Can You Keep A Secret?' every night for my bedtime stories, sleeping like a baby. No more night terrors, listening to Pandora female comedy, Zooms studying French & Peer Support, virtual fireplace in my bedroom, bathroom, anywhere in my apt., living in one of the most beautiful cities in America. Loving that dirty water Boston near my home. Hey, you guys ever see Feverpitch?" They look blank. "Feverpitch, Jack you must have seen Feverpitch! Oh my God, we're watching that over breakfast, Drew Barrymore, Jimmy Fallon Johnny Damon. The 2004 Red Sox. And yes, I was at the parade with my broom 'cause we swept the Yankees, a pink leopard spotted broom."

Over the morning the wind picked up, howled until I got into an adrenaline storm. Thinking of Nathaniel Drew's YouTube post, I started filming...

"Hey guys. I'm in the middle of, like a hurricane, well, I'm going to show you what's going on. Here's my living room, I taped up my window. There's a huge tree outside and there are branches already on the wires and we already lost a big limb that went all the way across the street earlier, but down lower there's a huge branch that is completely lined up, from this angle depending on the wind, could come completely into my window. If this window gets blown out, I'm hoping that it won't be raining a lot, water damage really sucks. So I moved all the artwork/pictures next to the bed. I haven't made my bed yet from doing the laundry yesterday. Moved Tina (the snail) into the bedroom and moved the library books to be protected from the elements. All the kids toys, clothes and stuff are in the bedroom. Put the rugs under the bed. I move the desk into the bathroom and put the futon mattress in the bathtub."I stop and put the camera focus on Cleo, my cat.

"She's been really helpful. When I was taping the window she came over and rubbed against my leg doing good support. I emptied out a lot underneath the vanity because I was madly making the bug out bag. I should bring the fabulous nail polishes for the basement, with hours with nothing to do, I can at least have sassy nails. So here's the porch, I scans with my laptop,'You can see I took down everything, the bistro table and chairs, because you know my grandmother and I used to watch the tornadoes in Wichita, Kansas, until the rest of the family would be screaming at us from the storm cellar doors to come inside. So I've got my bug-out bag, my lockbox. My valuable papers and photos. Granny's cane from Mexico, food, water, glad I've been saving a lot of water, all these bottles...Charging my cell, all the REI stuff is in the bug out bag, the hand crank flashlight, solar charger, solar panel, you can see how I may lose all my seeds if I'm thinking that huge limb, if it comes down, it's going to roll. It's going to roll down this side of the building. It may take out the top of this, downstairs roof. But maybe, just maybe all our guardian angels are looking out for us. I've got a f'king awesome load of them and all the benevolent forces of the universe and all the tree fairies. So the wind is supposed to get the highest, gusting over 65 miles an hour from 3:00 to 7:00 and it's 2:30 now.There's a hundred and forty-four inch diameter Elm tree out there just on the other side of the apartment building. It's probably 300 years old. I moved my neighbor's chairs and turned over her table because they could take out our windows. So if the top of the Elm goes down, it could take out the chimney. But I think it would just crash on the deck, probably make a nasty hole in neighbor's roof downstairs.Here's my lovely philodendron, that I love, on my bathtub and this gorgeous thing my son painted in second grade, and this is more artwork because when he was in elementary school second grade and he was always feeling my pain. Oh, my vanishing point fountain pen & my English dictionary from middle school and French-English dictionary, I need those in my bug out bag.I went to stock up on paper before everything shut down from CV-19. Oh my God. It's all loose." I set the laptop down and went into the kitchen, rambling about having been a Girl Scout, a very prepared Girl Scout and retrieve a plastic bag to protect the paper from moisture.

"I know people think I am crazy. But you know what? Liam and Tyler completely understand what I'm doing right now.

Survival, natural disasters...all the disasters they have survived. Oh, look at this! This awesome bag, this bag, it's from Raspberry Beret. Look at this." I puts a bunch of notebook paper and pencils into the red leather messenger bag.

"I tried to download, I mean I bought from freaking Google Fever Pitch because I wanted to watch it with my imaginary besties, Monogamous Mister Bond's Teddy and Jack but said there's a licensing error, what the hell a licensing error!? This is not the time, the first time I freaking download a film to watch. A video." I hold up a bright red liquid in a glass. "This is a Really good beverage, I'll show you the ingredients. All that, beautiful, really good products." As I scan the refrigerator. "So this is the artwork from Aya. It says 'I miss you this much.' Oh my God, here are her drawings of Cleo and here's my inspiration for my foi&GRÂCE series. Oh and the squeeze ball, from when I tried to donate blood at Mass General on Thursday. They couldn't find a vein.And there's all the sewing supplies, I borrowed a sewing machine from a neighbor. All right, 'Let's do, let's do it. We're okay. We're better than okay. We're, we're like we're Olympic! Olympic gold, like billion gold medalist, a good good, I don't know. This is another painting my son did, (I pans a large canvas with a Hawaiian flower, skull, calla lily.) Showing a Xerox on the refrigerator, 'Here's a really good galette recipe, so if I survive all this, I'm going to make a galette and I'll post it. Panning the wall of multiple small jars mounted with shoots of green, these are, this is my Nursery, all my little babies. Oh, I was going to show you so this is the beverage ingredients, Super tart 100% cranberry from Vermont and St. James rum from Martinique....because this is a moment. I need to congratulate myself on my preparedness. So that's it."

I walk into the bedroom, get into the bed, sitting up, propped on pillows. I show the camera, "Here are my grandmother's wedding rings and my japa ring and the Greek or Celtic swirl like waves ring my son gave me. And my Greek bracelets and one my son gave me." I grab at my necklace, "Here's my Cretian amulet, rose quartz and dog tag with 'All in' on it."

"Nice," they say in unison.

"You guys are doing that a lot lately like identical twins." They shrug their shoulders and Teddy says, "Whatevs" they dap each other then they suddenly sit up and go into Super elaborate bro, shake and then scramble out of bed to go into full body chest slams.

Jack does Thriller moves and a breakdance routine. Teddy looks on as I am cheering and clapping. "Yes, Jack, Go! Yes, go daddy! Go Jack go."

Teddy looks on and joins Catz supporting. You can't say your rooting your team to an Aussie because that means your having sex with them.

When Jack stops, breathing heavily from walking on his hands down the hallway and back.Teddy says, "Tayo you lost me at Thrilla."

"I'm heating up the tea, don't go away. Be right back."

"So hey, Teddy. Can you get Quibi for me? I can't do it, my 3G phone."

"What?" they chime in disbelief.

"Yep. Yep. Yep. Aya said 'Auntie Catz, why do you have such a small phone?' Oh, that's nothing. Hey, you guys ever see THE ultimate James Bond smoking hot chick phone? " I hold up one finger, run to my desk and runs back.

"Catch!" I say and they both lean forward like purebred Golden and black lab retrievers, end up shoulder checking each other, the phone bounces off one of them and I yell in slow motion. "Noooooooo" as it is arching through the air, destined to hit the floor. I dive a World Cup FIFA Champions League dive & just tips the phone so it redirects back toward the boys. Jack makes a World Series winning out fielding dive, catching it with his hands like a baseball glove, "Mine!!!" he hollered so loudly that Teddy & I recoiled back, out of the way, giving him space to make the catch.

I went back to the stove, the boys in bed with their phones each taking turns flipping the Jukebox open and closed, "My turn," Teddy elbows Jack in the chest. Smacks to grab the phone and then does his lip licking smile, catching himself from bro behavior, puts out his hand palm up. "Play Nice." I say peeking at them from the kitchen."Or you won't be allowed to train with us today."

Jack grins, places the Jukebox gently on Teddy's palm. He closes his fingers over it and a clamshell fashion. It disappears in his big paw. He rolls over on his left side to shield from Jack, definitely youngest of three boys behavior, with one elbow up in the air as enforcing shield and plays with it with his left hand somewhat clumsily.

Jack focuses on his phone, dials his Pops. "Hey checking in, all good. Yep." He glances at Teddy's back. "All good here. Have a Cressey Performance training today at something called a nor'easter. Okay. Love you. Miss you big hugs. Hugs. Stay healthy."

You know Tim Collins once said to me and a flashback, she's coming in the door across the performance dragon and two other baseball pictures or sitting in the entryway.

Cats walks in and tortoise Rim sunglasses and our custom order Express fake fur leopard coat Cass. You look like a movie star. She laughs and puts her stuff in a cubby and takes her Camp a handball shoes Sasquatch trained yet. She inquires the upper New York State Lefty baseball pitcher. She's hosting finishing up soon. Dragon says

A woman comes to walk through cats makes a caddy comment. Dragon says after she leaves that was really mean you should apologize cats blushes a little I can't she left my bad punish me. She laughs.

Does that mean I can't get my hug Bring It On he opens his wingspan up. You should take me to dinner. He says she laughs. No, I'll think of something she turns and walks into the gym.

Oh my God cats runs into the bedroom. They all thought I was hot and I didn't even notice. Oh my God, Dragon even came over when I was doing box steps and put his foot on the top and lean completely obviously into my personal space but didn't touch me and I just smiled and kept stepping he he was they may they both make quizzical look until their heads forward way.

Waiting for it.

Hitting on you. They finish her sentence as she Whispers hitting on me. Yeah says Teddy. Yeah says Jack in unison. Yes, thank shaking their head side to side a chuckling.

Oh my God, but I was Sleeping with the Enemy the bad boy Frenchy financial analyst who didn't give a shit shit rat's ass about me.

Flash bot flashback Sasquatches driving the blue Ford Mustang Mustang to handball practice cats. He's just trying to be nice. Nice house that being nice look. You can't go around wearing your heart on your sleeve spoken by the major Leaguer who's already Divorced with a kid on his way to spring training in Florida and three weeks and he is I don't know early 20s.

Was he Hot For Me?

Judging by your photo unless they were gay or married or maybe even then they were all hot for you. You are essentially Kate at the footie match just in a way more intimate because you were training with them. You got their testosterone going they all pumped hard when you were in the gym.

Oh my God, she turns back and walks contemplatively back into the back to the stove.

As the kettle whistles. Oh my God.

Whispering really quietly Jack turns to Liam. How could she be so clueless Liam shrugs and looks up and to the right.

Thinking Strokes his beard a few times. No one ever told her. She was really beautiful. I overheard her tell someone her sister was the pretty one that she was the athlete in the family.

Varsity cheerleader Jack says Bingo lingam Pope points to his phone flicking his wrist.

Set as a High School freshman. She was dating a senior at the Rival High School on the outskirts of Mad City. Where's that Mumu? Land Teddy flicks, then his phone moo moo land Teddy nods, Hawaii.

Jack says questioning

Liam imitates a cow and Cat sticks her head out to sea and Jack starts laughing with disbelief expressions.

You want steak for dinner instead of chicken tonight. Teddy cracks up. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Slip slop slap yippies.

Cass goes back to the kitchen Farmers to us is Wednesday 48 Hours Bucky Badger land Jack says she goes to the bathroom and shuts the door.

Jack asks and turns on his left side. What else spill quick?

She didn't have her first kiss until 17 and a half. Well guess she forgot the camp counselor kiss.

Jack winces and then looks angry like he'd be the shit out of the man if he ever knew him. I'm not a violent person Jack Whispers, but oh, I'd freaking kill him who knows he could be dead by now Jack nods. Do you know when you know Jack rolls on his right side and puts down his phone super quickly. He says it's complicated practically all the women in her family were unwed preggers.

slots back in the day

There were 13 Foster babies in our youngest sibling was aborted. She was a diaphragm baby and her pops a first-year med med student yelled at the mumsy's G gyne that he fit her wrong and the doc yells back. You didn't use it properly. You couldn't get birth control pills under age without parents permission. So,

Tyler looks at Guest. Oh my God beep beep fire fire. The alarm goes off. Fuck me cats yells from the bathroom.

Get the goddamn oatmeal.

from behind the door

Jack and Teddy jump out of bed and run to the door smelling the burning oats Teddy grabs the cat.

Opens the door and Sprint's down all flights of the stairs Jack goes to the stove and turns off the gas and calmly opens the oven door putting the pot in there as cats whips open the door Cool Wind and Rain Come gusting through the open window that has been in the background all morning.

Teddy is all clogged up by the cat.

Looking up from his boxers on the street.

Teddy's already outside in his boxers

Kate start swinging the apartment door open and closed while

Jack waves the dishcloth Fanning

the smoke from the alarm

Josh from the second floor opens his door.

You okay? It's my oatmeal. Sorry. I got distracted by him. Sorry, sorry.

I know we're all extremely anxious about fire. No worries. Glad you're safe says Josh and closes the door.

Teddy hears the alarm go off has the cat by the Scruff of her neck and pinned under his arm like a rugby football and bounces back up the stairs taking extreme deep stream lie deep breaths. Oh God guys, I am so so so so so sorry and she starts to cry. She is a flashback to the town alarm fire on Austin Street Barefoot bringing blankets and shoes and bread and chocolate and water and flip-flops to the stranded. Newly homeless Neighbors.

They all hug each other the tension such that they all start crying Callie Australia. They all three had pyro PTSD.

They had a deep hard Soul cleansing cry covid-19. The Nor'easter pushed them all over the cliff.

Teddy and Jack

and cats all had goosebumps from the gusts and then cat said oh God. Thank you Universe. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you all our guardian angels all the gods and goddesses all the benevolent forces of the universe were safe were healthy or secure. Well, except for me leaving the gas stove unattended.

Her flash back to her calling Albert or 86 year old neighbor to go in through the back door and turn off the stove. She was in Cambridge and he was in Framingham.

About 45 minutes away when she had him for morning tea and homemade scones to thank him. He said didn't your mother ever tell you never to leave the stove unattended?

Teddy looks out the window, that's about

40 knots more than that, I'd say I'm checking the Weather Service. There must be an advisory. He goes to his phone.

Runs postponed at least until twenty hundred tosses it on the bed stay away from trees and windows they say cats and it's her brow and frowns buggers. It was going to be so much fun.

Flashback to her as six years old standing outside watching the sky with her grandmother in Kansas as the tornado sirens are blowing and relatives or yelling at them from the storm cellar to come inside.

That morning. She woke at 8:15 a.m. To Cleo pawing the covers. She fed her and went back to sleep in just her just her underwear.

And when she woke up, she started to talk to open up. She'd been fantasizing about her Teddy who lives for weeks now, they made love already. He was already at the top of the list holding number one.

Her Zenith Mount Everest. Hi difference.

She rolled over and lay her head on his chest put her thigh over his stiffy and then tickled his obliques softly with her fingernails. Just barely touching his skin. He shivered and said how bad of huh buddy do what she interpreted as more please she licked her lips and softly nibbled his nipple just under her cheek and lickety-split. Her knickers were off and her eyes were sparkling Tinkerbell Sparkles. Her loins were hot her.

Began to race and she hummed then purred and then said your wish is my command. Misdemeanor Monsieur Bond qu'est-ce que tu veux

Oo-la-la his tongue garbled. She laughed. She thought he would know this by now.

What is it that you want I will give you everything 110% Olympic lovemaking. I've been practicing while you've been.

Ankle biter making with Gabriella. He coughed choking laughing and made a timeout sign he sat up and turned to face her straight on you. What don't be upset. It's not like you're cheating or anything. I mean, she doesn't know me and you don't know me and I don't really know you accept. Well, I've seen enough interviews to feel like I know you I mean we were together like a zillion previous lifetimes.

She's nervous and doesn't want to freak him out. I shouldn't have told you that. Oh shit. Did I crack your shits? Oh, please please please. Don't be crook. Oh, you're all crickey here here. Let me make it let me kiss it and make it all better her expression. His expression is baffled bewildered curious comical shocked. Fuck me dead.

She looks quizzical and makes time outside and says stay right there. Don't move don't go anywhere. I'll be right back. She jumps out of bed and runs to her desk and takes out an Aussie English dictionary.

She's you here. Mad page-turning. Fuck me dead that surprises me. Oh God, that's a relief. You hear the drawer closed and she Sprint's back to bed and jumps in she'll be apples. She grins. He laughs rolls his eyes and looks up to the ceiling runs his hand over his forehead then beard then trying not to crack up.

Can I make it Ripper raft she grabs for his unit. Now, he can't help but crack up and he blocks her with I want to stoke you. She squeals and goes to tickle him hard and he rolls back and they wrestle in bed. I want to be your bloody Fair Dinkum into poolroom Sheila. He laughs harder and they wrestle more he has her wrist, but she's quick and wiggles around a straddle him and she's on top and heaving with all her might to force him back down. I want to

your sweet Abyss Maximus

slip slap slop

she chants the not happy Jam. No Gary. No now he's holding his sides and he's crying. He's laughing so hard. Oh my god. What have you been watching? Call 13 303 to she sings 30 40 42

sing Banana Boat Frog song singing in the Frog voice. No, no, no, no. No, ahh, then she stops and says that dearie and get still and serious and takes a deep breath. He stops laughing and then she grabs his hands 1/3 oo6 triple 506 and makes them cheer side to side.

And his jaw drops. What's the Sultana? He grabs her and kisses her full Lon and she squeals she says giggling. Can we have chicken tonight tomorrow because today's Easter so we should have Greek Easter lamb kebabs Rhonda. Yes, Rhonda.

Her phone Chimes its time. They both turn and then look back at each other in unison. It's time it's time you for a quickie. She says moving down his torso. That's my reminder. Why Zoom peer support call. Alrighty, then is Father's day and Easter as she turned around to deliver the goods.

She mentioned a lot about online dating disasters and asked the two men about their experiences and for help. I guess I need a dating coach. She blurted out. I just don't get it. Why do they say they liked my profile my profile, but we're not a match. I mean if you like my profile wouldn't that mean that you would like me? I am me I wrote my profile.

Well, a lot of people don't have real things in their profiles a lot is made up or fake or outright lies.

I have three deal-breakers.

My beard my tackiness and I forgot the third I may have lowered the age to see if that helps.

One of her peer support members contributed I suppose that makes sense like come up with my top three to five must-haves and then just be ruthless, but I'm sick of the Grandpa's emailing me. I don't want to date my dad. Everyone left. Maybe I just need to give it more of a chance. It's God's will another responded. You mean maybe it's not going to happen this lifetime and everyone laughed God willing she mumbles.

Maybe I'll just keep watching the dressmaker and can you keep a secret over and over everyone laughed again?

American men are just so primitive compared to European Middle Eastern Greek men. They dress well, they're polite the respectful. They really love the women in their lives. Another woman piped in hmm concur. Boston is so provincial and everyone's in such a hurry and no one seems to look around and enjoy a passing attractive person.

Well, all that's changing now.

Hmm. Yeah suppose it would be nice to get to know someone through writing and phone calls being long distance even across the street you'd find out who's true blue.

After the call, she felt rejuvenated connected cared for listen to and she came to a new revelation. She did want to date someone her very own. Monogamous James Bond. Not just Teddy and Jack she watched some YouTube and came across Nathaniel Drew interviewing his polyglot Grandma Arabic French Italian Hebrew Spanish Greek and English. They effortlessly went in and out of these languages he

Understand Hebrew or Arabic the subtitles were lovely. She laughed delighted that she knew the Greek most French some Arabic some Italian some Spanish and of course English.

She subscribe to his Channel watch more videos and was Cliffhanger watching his stranded in Paris Alone video. She had flashbacks to her time in Paris during the terrorist bombings in September 1986. A waiter had said to her and her mother that they were Brave Americans stupid Americans foolish ignorant to women without protective man. She was mortified mortified when her mother decided the thing to do was to go to the American Embassy and ask them what

Should do after the extensive Security check and many men carrying AK-47s and bomb proof vest and everything. They finally reached the inner sanctum and approached a marine likely just one or two years older or maybe even her same age. He said lady you have an American passport if you don't like it here go home.

Four thousand shades of red flushed as she slid down to the floor and backed out onto the streets of Paris.

This wasn't terrorism or War as Monsieur Drew mentioned their solidarity were all equally into this together. No one is Invincible the images of the people clapping and they're balconies at 8 p.m. Every night. Maybe I will just go out at 8 p.m. Every night and chai my Tibetan bells for three rings and say some prayers she'd learned that Mother Teresa was Albanian and that she'd gone to Rome for her religious instruction and the dictator close the border so she couldn't return home.

And so went on her mission to Calcutta.

She briefly seen that u.s. Now has more deaths than any other country were being taken to task for not having adequate leadership disaster bio disaster management the CDC and health officials. No one wanted to step up and say Evacuate the University's what fucking chicken shits no fucking balls in the face of a pandemic that swept across the globe. Nobody in a position of power wanted to take responsibility.

She went to Instagram to see Nathaniel Drew Instagram and there.

Was Liam in bed black and white photo? So she instant messaged him happily. Happy baby making she hit the bolster. I just fucking Instagram messaged you connected were all connected. We are freely commit communicating. She lay between the two of them Teddy and Jack and said look you each have your babes. I want my version of you.

I want my monogamous James Bond superhero extraordinary Superman teddy. So here's the deal.

The two of you are going to screen my Match.com and weed out all the riffraff and bozos because it's bloody buggered.

You in?

could be

To be firmly defending the damsel like if your mom or your aunt were widowed and looking for a mate you would a hundred percent step to make sure she found a legit 100% Lancelot, right? Of course bien Sur, she lay in the middle of the bed turning to the right and left saying come on guys. You'll do it right for me, please. I will be your baby Whisperer Nanny forever as long as you need or want. I was the eldest of 16 I have

Both of them look shocked 16, they say in unison. Yes, only my sister survived. So I felt grief stricken since I was 9 and the last Foster baby was adopted.

At some point in the moment. She was making love to Teddy she suddenly imagine Jack there and her world exploded. Oh my God, I have never imagined being in a threesome ever and here you two are an oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God, you are both here and is just me with my legs up in the air imagining. Oh my God.

I could have a sassy hottest dude in the universe penis in my vagina AJ and in my mouth. Oh my God.

I'm 56 years old and having the hottest sex of my life and it's 100% imaginary. How can imagine Airy love making be so freaking hot?

So here's the dealio. I give you the password and you screen You Weep you Turf and shield and deflect and eventually you let me know when there's someone the one someone cut of the same cloth as you to someone who will appreciate me who will be my Indiana Jones my Crocodile Dundee my superhero my Paul Newman to Joanne Woodward my whatever his name was to met West my Spencer Tracy to Katharine Hepburn my Jesus to Mary Magdalene.

Wow, wow. Wow.

Isn't that what Steve Jobs said as he was dying? Yeah. Okay. I'm the Thoroughbred at the gate waiting for the bell and it for it to open so I can Sprint my like my fucking hair is on fire and cross the finish line ahead of everyone and then keeps printing because I'm so happy to run.

Okay, mr. Harper, and mr. McSweeney be my wingman. It's on.

The all in they say in unison and they all laughed.

She had can you keep a secret playing and put on pause in her sassy Marie Joe I Venture knickers and brassiere. She went into the kitchen made a bundini.

With rum refilled her life stream water bottle and returned at the doorway nipples Iraq through her sheer brassiere. She announced I need you boys to filter out the douchebags sift through all the riffraff for the gold my monogamous Mr. Bond, they both laughed and look at each other and said how hard can that be? Sure. No probs. We got this. She shook her head thinking

I have no idea how many dickheads there are out there. So they will see she went back into Match.com and reopened her profile Easter Sunday. She's dancing to the music of the ripping off scene of the clothes.

In can you keep a secret sipping her bundini? She reactivated her match account and responded to a few not thrilled. But whatever. She's in the game. That's what matters.

I'm going to fucking cry now because you guys are real real men. I've never had a real man 100% Family Man hottie committed to the environment and everything.

But I fucking deserve that 100% just like you deserve hot babes who are 100% in your corner through thick and thin and everything in between. I want to believe it's possible for me, please. God make it possible for me, please. I don't want to be single for the rest of my life. They all fell asleep.

6:36 a.m. She wakes up cats wakes up. The lights are on they all fell asleep, boys. Where's my lammie your what my lammie your baby sheep they rub their eyes.

She's searching in the covers. No, my German made fantastic writing instrument. Your what is too early? It's not even 7:00 a.m. My pencil she madly pads down the covers.

When the Muse strikes you jump and I mean as high as it says they rub their eyes and both smile their epic Peak physiques shirtless bear witness to the gloriousness.

I fell asleep again to can you keep a secret Limoncello Martinis or Bundy knees and instagramming both of you until 3:00 or 4:00 a.m. Or or what eastern daylight time? Am I have no shame, but I just wanted you to know me and how I really authentically truly am a true blue. I get you fan shit. I need to be Tim Ferriss careful.

What they say in unison look you boys know this. Once you get famous, there are crazies out there stalkers and sociopaths and shit. They look at each other and go. Yeah, there are some stalkers and sociopaths and shit, but I'm just here in my little TBI life doing my little self publishing happy dancing remote training roof deck planting thing. Fuck. I don't even have a bodyguard.

You don't have a bodyguard in unison. What the fuck boys I live a normal non Ela a non Melbourne Sydney Outback, whatever life. Oh, they say together and shrug their shoulders. What am I going to do? Stay home and social distancing. They both say together wash your hands for 20 seconds often they chime in.

No, no Tim Ferris says if you have ever ordered anything to your address, you're fucked. I'm fucked. I ordered furnace filters and flea meds and vitamins from CVS and resistance bands and champagne. Remember we celebrated my self publishing. Wow.

Jack says wait, wait calm down. Never say your name when you email use a pseudonym because they can Google you they will Google you. Okay, like what Jesus Christ? How do you guys live like this? I've been a nobody my whole life. You're not a nobody they say in unison. You know what? I mean? Where's the staying?

Unstopped for dummies when you need it. They both laugh Teddy. Wish I had that 15 years ago ditto says Jack. Okay. I can't sleep might as well make some tea want some sure if you're offering to get up.

I need to look at I need to take out my mouth guard and P. Cleo's going to start pestering for a petit dejeuner soon. I need a big brother. I always wanted a big brother. Will you be my Big Brother's they look at each other grin and grin well your little big brothers. You know what I mean? I'm freaking out. Let's train the boys laugh and they get up and train together the boys left jump out of bed and they trained they have

Breakfast and hit it. They stretch out do warm-ups run down the stairs and out the door.

Jog to the Charles outdoor gym and have a chin-up contest. They each lift up cat so she can do chin-ups. They do wind Sprints at magazine Beach and the seagulls and Canadian geese fly away. Kate shows them goalkeeper handball drills and they smile and laugh. She hugs the trees and introduces them to the Grand Dom Willow and they all take a rest and Teddy and Jack take some selfies.

And cats shakes her head they get home and Teddy takes out a blender and start makes starts making smoothies. Jack takes out a dozen eggs and makes an omelet cat stands there speechless and then starts to set the table on the roof deck with her grandmother's 1940s tablecloth puts the kettle on for tea and smiles at the shirtless gods in her kitchen. Well, she's wearing her Boston Strong, Massachusetts General Hospital Blood Donor t-shirt.

And Boston Strong baseball cap be from 2013.

That afternoon after a sex nap Kate cats wakes up on Jack's chest.

with Teddy spooning her

I want rock hard ABS to or at least a three pack she Whispers she starts jumping two of her fingers on his rock-hard abs and singing the wonderful thing about Tiggers is Tiggers are wonderful things. Their tops are made out of rubber their bottoms are made out of Springs and she starts to bounce back and forth between Jax abs and Teddy's obliques and then Crossing her arms and smirking until she finishes the song tigger's are wonderful fellow.

Tigger's are awfully sweet tea girls are something or other and that's while I repeat Tiggers.

Our something but the most of wonderful thing about Tiggers is I'm the only one she spreads her arms across both of their chest the rubbing their eyes and laughing today, boys. We jog the Charles. I know it's supposed to be a storm today. So we train earlier after Petit dejeuner and as my son's Montessori directorís used to say there is no bad weather just inappropriate clothing.

They both raised their eyebrows and glanced at each other shrug and wink.

Boston weather storm warning Monday, April 13th rain 100% wind gusts of 60 miles per hour. Stay away from forests and trees. No boats in the harbor.

Teddy says

when the knots are that high we stay out of the water in Australia.

Jack and Callie, come on, boys. You afraid of a little Boston wind?

Jack says have you ever heard the term Blown Away?

Teddy says you're like what? Oh 50 kilos Cato cat. So worst case scenario. You'll both hold my hand and be my anchors.

Show the joggers with bandanas blue matching, Boston Strong.

I'll see foundation and Medicine some Frontier t-shirts Over The Bu bridge and I love you Boston. She shouts into the wind as they see the view from bu Bridge.

Your plants are amazing. Jack says don't tell anyone I talk to them in English and French. I love them. I spray them my son and I recently repotted them. Give them Neptune's foil formula and she hesitates one secret other thing.

And they say in unison you promise you won't freak out. They look bewildered smirk. Look at one another she hands the tea-tray to Teddy. He puts it between the two of them. Okay, we're all grown-ups. I mean you pointing to Teddy had sex ed in school with your mom. Oh God. Teddy says Tyler looks at Jack looks at Teddy.

Oh God, you didn't. Oh, yeah mate since ears.

Okay, Jack says we're men Superman and brother of the Gods we can handle it. He wiggles his toward his finger and grins Bring It On. Yes as Teddy sitting up and leaning forward will you're sure 100% jeez Louise.

I pour the contents of my Luna Cup in their pots. Oh, they both cringe and gag and have face of faces of disgust and cover their ears and moan and groan and shiver wimps. You promised. You wouldn't freak. I can't look at you ever again. Teddy says Jack wipes tears from his eyes from laughing enough enough scoot over I have to do my morning pages and planted a lots and lots and lots to do boys weekend's over back.

To work train so masks baby quilt knit baby hats hydrate. And you're welcome. You just got a free ab work and fun ab workout and endogenous endorphins before break. He's they simultaneously reach over to the bed side wall sconces turn on their phones and start swiping.

Cats rights 13 of real 2020 Jeweler number twenty thousand seven hundred forty-four. I can't believe it. It's freaking awesome. I think I was a mutt a Matchmaker or a friend maker for Nathaniel Drew and kerri-anne James yesterday and I am directly messaging all three actors. Tell them my strength coach was Eric cressey strength coach to Tim Ferriss pro athletes. I was training alongside Major League Baseball pitchers.

Friends with Royals pitchers pitcher Tim Collins and Chad Rogers on throwback Thursday, I dressed as nice as 80s Madonna was the only Sheila in the world's greatest playground didn't tell anyone my age for fear of discrimination.

One day I brought a bag of handballs to the gym daring Chad and Tim to shoot on me. Oh, that doesn't sound right. I made a few saves and one to my gut that made an impressive thud and they both went. Oh good times. That was a few months before the Dodge Hemi Ram squished My ultimate chick car 2004 Aquarius blue VW Beetle convertible with a bronze mermaid hood ornament.

Rear-ending me at about 60 miles an hour.

But let's stay positive. I'm making my come back 10 years 3 months and 13 days. Nope plus leap day 14 days later. I've never been happier in my life. Yeah, of course who wouldn't be chilling with Teddy and Jack during quarantine having Zorba. Roomy Olympic lovemaking eating organic from Vermont watching the dressmaker and can you keep a secret every night for my bedtime stories sleeping like a baby no more.

Night terrors Pandora female comedy zooms studying French virtual fireplace in my bedroom bathroom everywhere. I go living in one of the most beautiful cities in America. Loving that dirty water Boston near my home.

Hey you guys ever see Fever Pitch.

Fever pitch Jack you must have seen fever pitch. Oh my God, we're watching that over breakfast Drew Barrymore, Jimmy Fallon Johnny Damon. The 2004 Red Sox. And yes, I was at the parade with my broom a pink leopard spotted broom.

Nice, they say in unison. You guys are doing that a lot lately like identical twins. They shrug their shoulders and say whatevs and crack up and dap each other then they suddenly sit up and go into Super elaborate bro, shake and then scramble out of bed to go into full body chest slams.

Jack does Thriller moves and break dance routine thing. Teddy looks on as cats as cheering and clapping. Yes, Jack go. Yes, go dad. Go Jack go.

Teddy looks on and joins Kate supporting. You lost me a thriller.

You can't say cheering to an Aussie.

When Jack stops Breathing heavily from walking on his hands down the hallway and back.

Teddy says

Tayo you lost me at Scylla

heating up the tea don't go away.

Be right back. Oh, they all say in unison. So hey, Teddy.

Get for a cross on quippy for me. I can't do it my 3G phone what they chime in and disbelief. Yep. Yep. Yep.

Aya said Auntie cats, why do you have such a small phone? Oh, that's nothing. Hey you guys ever see my ultimate James Bond smoking hot chick phone. She holds up one finger. She runs to her desk and runs back catch. She says and they both leave forward like purebred Golden and black lab retrievers shoulder check each other the phone bounces off one of them and cats yells in slow motion. No.

And Dives the World Cup FIFA Champions League just tips the phone. So it redirects back toward the boys and Jack makes a World Series winning out Fielding dive catching it with his hands like a baseball glove mine he hall or so loudly the cats and Teddy recoil back out of the way giving him space to make the catch.

Okay, new plan. We start fever pitch at breakfast. Keep it on during warm up. And then we run the Nor'easter. It's on a shout in unison. She goes back to the stove the boys get back in bed with their phones each taking

A turn flipping the Jukebox open and closed my turn Teddy elbows Jack in the chest.

Smacks to grab the phone and then does his lip licking smile catching himself from bro behavior and puts out his hand Palm up play. Nice. Katz says peeking from the kitchen.

Or you won't be allowed to train with us today.

Jack Grins and places the Jukebox gently on Teddy's Palm. He closes his fingers over it and a clamshell fashion. It it disappears in his paw.

He rolls over on his left side to shield from Jack definitely youngest of three boys Behavior with one elbow up in the air as enforcing shield and plays with it with his left hand somewhat clumsily.

Jack focuses on his phone dials his Pops. Hey checking in all good. Yep. He glances at Teddy's back. All good here. Have a crusty Performance training today at something called a nor'easter. Okay. Love you. Miss you big hugs. Hugs. Stay healthy.

You know Tim Collins once said to me and a flashback, she's coming in the door across the performance dragon and two other baseball pictures or sitting in the entryway.

Cats walks in and tortoise Rim sunglasses and our custom order Express fake fur leopard coat Cass. You look like a movie star. She laughs and puts her stuff in a cubby and takes her Camp a handball shoes Sasquatch trained yet. She inquires the upper New York State Lefty baseball pitcher. She's hosting finishing up soon. Dragon says

A woman comes to walk through cats makes a caddy comment. Dragon says after she leaves that was really mean you should apologize cats blushes a little I can't she left my bad punish me. She laughs.

Does that mean I can't get my hug Bring It On he opens his wingspan up. You should take me to dinner. He says she laughs. No, I'll think of something she turns and walks into the gym.

Oh my God cats runs into the bedroom. They all thought I was hot and I didn't even notice. Oh my God, Dragon even came over when I was doing box steps and put his foot on the top and lean completely obviously into my personal space but didn't touch me and I just smiled and kept stepping he he was they may they both make quizzical look until their heads forward way.

Waiting for it.

Hitting on you. They finish her sentence as she Whispers hitting on me. Yeah says Teddy. Yeah says Jack in unison. Yes, thank shaking their head side to side a chuckling.

Oh my God, but I was Sleeping with the Enemy the bad boy Frenchy financial analyst who didn't give a shit shit rat's ass about me.

Flash bot flashback Sasquatches driving the blue Ford Mustang Mustang to handball practice cats. He's just trying to be nice. Nice house that being nice look. You can't go around wearing your heart on your sleeve spoken by the major Leaguer who's already Divorced with a kid on his way to spring training in Florida and three weeks and he is I don't know early 20s.

Was he Hot For Me?

Judging by your photo unless they were gay or married or maybe even then they were all hot for you. You are essentially Kate at the footie match just in a way more intimate because you were training with them. You got their testosterone going they all pumped hard when you were in the gym.

Oh my God, she turns back and walks contemplatively back into the back to the stove.

As the kettle whistles. Oh my God.

Whispering really quietly Jack turns to Liam. How could she be so clueless Liam shrugs and looks up and to the right.

Thinking Strokes his beard a few times. No one ever told her. She was really beautiful. I overheard her tell someone her sister was the pretty one that she was the athlete in the family.

Varsity cheerleader Jack says Bingo lingam Pope points to his phone flicking his wrist.

Set as a High School freshman. She was dating a senior at the Rival High School on the outskirts of Mad City. Where's that Mumu? Land Teddy flicks, then his phone moo moo land Teddy nods, Hawaii.

Jack says questioning

Liam imitates a cow and Cat sticks her head out to sea and Jack starts laughing with disbelief expressions.

You want steak for dinner instead of chicken tonight. Teddy cracks up. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Slip slop slap yippies.

Cass goes back to the kitchen Farmers to us is Wednesday 48 Hours Bucky Badger land Jack says she goes to the bathroom and shuts the door.

Jack asks and turns on his left side. What else spill quick?

She didn't have her first kiss until 17 and a half. Well guess she forgot the camp counselor kiss.

Jack winces and then looks angry like he'd be the shit out of the man if he ever knew him. I'm not a violent person Jack Whispers, but oh, I'd freaking kill him who knows he could be dead by now Jack nods. Do you know when you know Jack rolls on his right side and puts down his phone super quickly. He says it's complicated practically all the women in her family were unwed preggers.

slots back in the day

There were 13 Foster babies in our youngest sibling was aborted. She was a diaphragm baby and her pops a first-year med med student yelled at the mumsy's G gyne that he fit her wrong and the doc yells back. You didn't use it properly. You couldn't get birth control pills under age without parents permission. So,

Tyler looks at Guest. Oh my God beep beep fire fire. The alarm goes off. Fuck me cats yells from the bathroom.

Get the goddamn oatmeal.

from behind the door

Jack and Teddy jump out of bed and run to the door smelling the burning oats Teddy grabs the cat.

Opens the door and Sprint's down all flights of the stairs Jack goes to the stove and turns off the gas and calmly opens the oven door putting the pot in there as cats whips open the door Cool Wind and Rain Come gusting through the open window that has been in the background all morning.

Teddy is all clogged up by the cat.

Looking up from his boxers on the street.

Teddy's already outside in his boxers

Kate start swinging the apartment door open and closed while

Jack waves the dishcloth Fanning

the smoke from the alarm

Josh from the second floor opens his door.

You okay? It's my oatmeal. Sorry. I got distracted by him. Sorry, sorry.

I know we're all extremely anxious about fire. No worries. Glad you're safe says Josh and closes the door.

Teddy hears the alarm go off has the cat by the Scruff of her neck and pinned under his arm like a rugby football and bounces back up the stairs taking extreme deep stream lie deep breaths. Oh God guys, I am so so so so so sorry and she starts to cry. She is a flashback to the town alarm fire on Austin Street Barefoot bringing blankets and shoes and bread and chocolate and water and flip-flops to the stranded. Newly homeless Neighbors.

They all hug each other the tension such that they all start crying Callie Australia. They all three had pyro PTSD.

They had a deep hard Soul cleansing cry covid-19. The Nor'easter pushed them all over the cliff.

Teddy and Jack

and cats all had goosebumps from the gusts and then cat said oh God. Thank you Universe. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you all our guardian angels all the gods and goddesses all the benevolent forces of the universe were safe were healthy or secure. Well, except for me leaving the gas stove unattended.

Her flash back to her calling Albert or 86 year old neighbor to go in through the back door and turn off the stove. She was in Cambridge and he was in Framingham.

About 45 minutes away when she had him for morning tea and homemade scones to thank him. He said didn't your mother ever tell you never to leave the stove unattended?

Teddy looks out the window, that's about

40 knots more than that, I'd say I'm checking the Weather Service. There must be an advisory. He goes to his phone.

Runs postponed at least until twenty hundred tosses it on the bed stay away from trees and windows they say cats and it's her brow and frowns buggers. It was going to be so much fun.

Flashback to her as six years old standing outside watching the sky with her grandmother in Kansas as the tornado sirens are blowing and relatives or yelling at them from the storm cellar to come inside.

Good. wedding ring She takes a deep breath & wipes her hands down her face, visibly shifting from panic to calm.

"So, what are we going to do? We're going to watch 'Can You Keep A Secret?' and then, we're going to watch 'The Dressmaker' And then, I'm going to do a shitload of happy dancing."

What a class demo.

Besides besides miss me.

Snap time gentlemen they climb into bed. So where are we today? Teddy asked crane? No Crete. Just south of mottola. It's a nude beach. That's not a problem. Is it says Jack? Yeah says Teddy come come you you survived being in your white skivvies in front of Kate Winslet Judy.

Davis at all

You got balls. Jack says wouldn't have wanted to do that scene.

Yeah, can't I wear Teddy a banana hammock? Oh, no, my bad. Give her the whatever the Aussie Speedo term.

We're more Billabong boys.

Jack offers. Oh, we don't have to go there. There are plenty of beaches in Greece. I Can Go Topless, but I want remote.

Beyond social distancing I just want the whole Beach to ourselves. Okay somewhere with gnarly waves you're both in what suit shorts surfing. I'm on the beach sunbathing on my back on a towel on the sand. There's a large umbrella a sun hat obscures my face from you.

I watched the two of you to be sea otters for a while and I laugh at the spills and the wave walking.

You'll of course eventually get hungry and thirsty. So you'll come up with your boards and plant them in the sand with a full oo7 smack lunch. Oh Teddy inquires, Teddy and Jack pull pick up water bottles and drain 800 milliliters and grab for another from a crate on the sand.

Lamb Souvlaki grilled with fresh lemon calamari Tzatziki and Peta. If you can have any flour these days spanakopita. Yes, phyllo dough so ax the pita chips of fabulous local, Aussie Chardonnay urine charge of producing that and yeah, Jack get something local to you. There's Greek music playing.

And an octopus comes out of its hole in the bay. Been Dean. He's all bonding. He's all around cat says what's that tip Jack says?

How rocky rocky from Crete organic 100% cranberry juice from Vermont with Organic fragments raspberries. Double dog dare you okay? Okay, Jack says checking his watch Teddy claps his hands and rub them together right out after our picnic, then we'll lay on the sand and our post feasting bundini Bliss and I will divulge the everything you ever wanted to know about women.

Everything they say in unison really everything.

Here's some more d'oeuvres. She terms to Teddy on her left. It doesn't matter what you say. It's all in how you touch her. She turns to jack to a right and repeats. Don't hold anything back.

She turns to the left. Don't hold anything back.

Turns to the right.

Don't save anything for later turns to the left don't save anything for later turns to the right if you don't want to be in the ship anymore break up before you get your next partner.

She turns to the left. We really really want you to feel we are the most beautiful girl in the world.

She turns to the right. We will freaking lift a Ford Mustang if you love us a hundred percent all in she turns to the left, even if one of your exes is a really awesome person. Most likely we will get some insecurities be polite but make it clear you're 100% loving the one you're with Paul Newman style to the left. We really do want you to be happy. We just have the baby making hormones roller.

Going to ride every 28 out at every 28 days. Could you guys do that?

It's not rocket science treat us with profound respect dignity compassion and compassion passion and compassion and will do the same.

Keep the hotness mystery Allure Adventure surprises. Most women would die for a monogamous Mr. Bond you.

Did I cover everything? Nope? So steady?

Jack grins at Teddy Hit Me With Your Best Shot BJ's that's not a question. That's a statement Teddy and Jack laugh a little blushed.

A one-time lover an NCAA winning soccer player once wrote me a letter explicitly stating that he would forever deny having sent such letter but gave me instructions for improved performance.

Teddy slaps his hands hot. Damn Jack laughs and runs his fingers through his hair seriously seriously, and do you follow those instructions? They say in unison.

Have you ever known me to not capitalize on confidential top streak? Stop secret Boudoir skills pleading. The fifth says Jack Teddy is just laughing and licking his lips and doing the beard pull. Look. Seriously. You've got to help me find my very own MMB.

The internet is horrific and nobody in Boston talks to anyone. I mean, nobody asked me for coffee. I smile.

I don't know. Maybe I need the flip of hitch. Did you ever see that with Will Smith? They shake their heads.

They both are shrugging their shoulders. Maybe you have some eligible uncle's she looks beaconing. They simultaneously look up and to the right reflecting.

I'm going to the credit union to do some dishes or plant some seeds and make some masks. I'm going to the credit union do some dishes or plant some seeds make some masks while I'm gone.

All right gentlemen, I really did want some afternoon Beach Delight, but now I have to go deposit a check at the credit union. So don't go away. I'll be right back.

She gets back fatigued and flops on the bed.

It's freaky out there really weird like, dr. Seuss star bellies and non-star bellies masks and no masks makes you wonder what the non masks thoughts are or don't have access to a scarf or bandana some people look at you like you're invisible and other stop and freeze on the sidewalk like you have a gun pointed at them or something.

I used to be invisible thing, but not the terrorists vibe.

I need somebody's or somebody. I need somebody's chest and somebody rub my back and hold my hand or put your finger through my put your fingers through my hair or tell me everything's going to be okay.

After doing her meditation and end of work out stretches. She emailed her online coach her photos in her bikini and updates made some dinner and checked her email and there it was.

Liam Hemsworth is following you.

She stared and immediately. She looked at the photo. She thought this is a joke. This is some fan messing with her. She clicked on to see the profile and gasped. It was the fucking dude t. H. E. L period i period a period M period Teddy that's alive she smacked the feather bolster dude. You're following me.

Holy S period each period i period t period she sat up. Do you have any idea how happy you just made me? Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Thank you Universe She was smiling and laughing and punching his chest. You are freaking following more.

So she madly gasped and sent him message it a message about saying no to the LA Olympic recruiter about skydiving about being a parent. But what she was really saying was all the ways she'd been passionately alive.

I'm tired of men on dating sites saying cheesy things. I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of being single. It's been 15. Goddamn years. That's too long. I don't know how much time I have left for Christ's sake.

Okay, wait. Listen Jackson started you need to keep the faith that he's out there. I mean we are out there right but you're already committed. You are the real deal twin. Mmm bees are you asking me to believe there's a triplet they both laugh and then look at each other and say why not? Yeah says Teddy there could be octo monogamous.

Bonds, I just want one a one and only.

And they both padded the shoulder closest to them.

She closed her eyes and says I'm bushwhacked snooker eat too. Tired to brush my teeth, please God show me my dreams show me in my dreams where to find my MMB.

This scene from can you keep a secret where Jack kisses Emma?

Is anyone ever going to kiss me like that again? They both look at her and say in unison definitely, how can you be so sure it's been 15 years. They look at each other 15 years. How could it be that some hot, dude?

With balls, hen stepped up to kiss her to more than kiss her to want to devote his life to her.

Disconnect huge disconnect I don't understand how men decide what league I'm in or they're in and she falls asleep.

3:01 am her left arm flails out and hits Teddy's nocturnal stiffy who he wakes with a jolt.

and her right arm flails out hitting

Jack next uffda he wakes she's dreaming the earplugs in her ears and her mouth guard.

Love you boys forevs. When this is all over you'll have to go home. Just no I've like bonded sincerely bonded. Oo7 Die Another Day bonded they both look at each other holding their John Thomases and rubbing their eyes.

Love you. Love you. Love you J'adore J'adore J'adore. She reaches over and grabs the water. I need to hydrate. She gulps down. She goes down the whole life stream.

Then she says I should get up and pee after all that.

She gets out in her Marie Joe set looking so hot just to go pee.

Jack says to Liam. How is it she still single?

Teddy beats me mate. Let's go back to sleep after you know before she gets back.

Or I'll be awakes.

Jack goes this is awkward. Don't talk to me about awkward says Jack grinning.

I'm changing the password at match your new house stud elf chores are screening for my RR IR L M. M-- B Cubed. We've got until World vaccination for this mission o49.

Capital L Ampersand capital T lowercase r capital r EA LL Capital deall at Capital. I capital r capital L capital m capital m capital b c UB d

Jesus that's too long says Teddy.

Uber Bond strong

just saying Jack contributes the kettle whistles. We won't go anywhere.

Don't we we won't go anywhere. We know you'll be back. They say in unison bringing in the tray. She's grinning from ear to ear. Hey my sons coming to visit today. You'll finally get to meet him except you have to hide you'll freak him out. I haven't told him, you know want to keep it a surprise well until it's up and for the world to see if they want to you're going to love him. He's the most incredible amazing intelligent talented athletic handsome loving true blue man in the

universe

they grin and look at each other nodding what you don't believe me. That's what my mom says.

In unison. Oh, right. Well, of course, you're the baby teddy and Jack. I don't remember. You're the number-one Son Well eldest Jack humbly responds scoot over she starts pouring the tea Once Upon a Time. Our family was invited to a successful Greek business man's house for dinner. By the way for the record his sons were in real life Greek gods.

I cleverly don't remember how gorgeous is daughter was I digress the host opens the door with huge smile and opens arms true Zorba hospitality and says to my sister. Are you daughter number one? And she says, yes without skipping a beat. I am actually the oldest

I say no rivalry, right and Nick V burst out laughing and says to my father, of course, you would have to number one daughters and later. He gave us each a gold chain with a classy with Classy number custom-made number ones on it.

I wonder when I lost that kept it for a long time awesome man family, man.

Okay, I've got a right and you've got a oh somebody's got to get the branches off the wires if you don't I will.

She threatens T. She inquires. Yes, please. They say in unison Teddy Smiles as this is from the dressmaker.

Suddenly the money meditation ends and Flo Rida jump comes on and Teddy and Jack both have raised eyebrows and chuckle and disbelief. When I say JUMP sink skate, you say how high jump jump jump they sing in unison and start are pumping. Don't worry Teddy. I won't ever ask you to dance. He starts laughing hard.

You see it.

She asked Jack. Oh God, Teddy groans and covers himself with his sheet. It wasn't that bad Jack offers.

Just then the next track you spin my head around has Lee has Teddy immediately drop the covers back down and cat starts laughing. It was the best I saw hangover above I saw hangover alone in a theater of couples and you could feel the tension between them.

Same with He's Just Not That Into You insecure couples rating warning should be added good idea. I'll mention it to Hollywood. Jack says with an impressed look.

Lips like sugar comes on next and she waves her index finger and she waves her index finger outlining about an inch away from Jax thin lips and rocks her hips on the bed. Don't do that. So steady Jack laughs and they pull the covers up higher to hide their lower abs.

STI ffs

OS cats Whispers

while intensely smirking looking up from her writing she pauses to put the pen tip to her lips back and forth grabbing the pen tip into her lips and pulls the top up a few times.

Jack slides down and covers his face with his baseball cap. Oh God, Save You Now cats teases a line from can you keep a secret? Yes, they say in unison.

Teddy is now laughing. Hysterically. Oh mate you missed it. That was all about Mary with Winslet Elegance by Omens and currents anyone she offers in a small dish thought you'd never ask Teddy teases Jack coughs. So what's with today's what's today's agenda with Tyler coughs tactfully changing the subject. So what's today's agenda?

Train chores Garden eat snap, right beloved's check-ins boat. I'm save the birds on the Gulf Coast and then Epsom salt bath a Manny for me. Hmm Manny for you with quizzical. Smirk, Teddy knits browse contemplating.

Jack politely. No, thank you. I'll pass but thanks for offering Teddy. How about a petty each toe a different color gnarly with your thongs a cat's that's Canadian. They flatly.

Take her to a cultural task. Yeah. Yeah, that was a test cat smirks again still writing not looking up.

Jumping back a moment. How were you thinking of getting the branches down? Is there a ladder in the basement negatory take a broom out to the second floor roof and knock them off.

Without a horn without a harness or anything, you're not seriously considering that without like a safety net or 300 fireman a drumbeat starts and they both look up as Weezer starts up and crack up when Beverly Hills starts up.

Jack is laughing and singing the words cat starts starts pointing to them at the movie stars line and clicks at the take a picture by the pool. She starts flicking her wrist to the music and sliding short her shoulders back and forth and slowly each shoulder forward as cats sings. You just don't belong to Teddy and they lost they all laugh. Oh my God Mercy Universe. I haven't had so much fun.

And way too long, then her face gets serious as the next song starts and they all look serious. Like I'm the Mary Poppins scene when the when the chorus starts hold me cats bites her lip and looks at both of them and swallows hard. Wow, the world really does work in mysterious ways. Jack nods Teddy joins in they all look solemn and sit there letting the words bathe them.

cats closes Her Eyes and Tears began to stream down her face

No, no, please don't cry, please, please, please don't cry. Teddy says Jack wipes the tears from her cheeks. It's going to be okay. Really it's going to be. Okay. Look we're here for you. Yeah, Teddy says enforcing lie. Not not going anywhere. Stay safe stay in bed cats grins. I saw that Instagram that was hot.

Thank God Teddy says as Troublemaker comes on. I'm a troublemaker never giving up. They pick up air guitars. The lyrics are perfect. Teddy's laughing cats is jumps up and down to the tune of jumps down to turn up the volume and then on her knees starts dancing and singing and making the bed jump and the guys join in she points her pain as a microphone.

And she laughs because she knows the next song. She hands the microphone to Teddy and he waits his eyebrows go up the greatest man that ever lived and tie and Jack cracks up. Oh baby, sometimes I'm going crazy she sings you're the greatest man that ever lived.

cats holds

the conductor's arms that you are we are you were born to give

what can top that says Teddy wait for it cat says Jack's face anticipates.

Jack starts to sing Teddy cracks Up Everybody Get Dangerous

Cat starts laughing. She shouts Mercy Universe hockey games on Frozen ponds. No pads allowed. I almost killed every one of us.

Everybody Get Dangerous

at the guardian angel Parts cats swills from her glass of water.

Bottle they look they look serious at the line about when your kids come to us. Kate cats points at them.

they grin at the

so bringing swords and can we tear up this place the song ends. Wow, wow, wow cat says.

Isn't that what Steve Jobs Steve Jobs said when he died Jack offers? Mhm says cats they all take a deep breath as French Cowboys comes on Cat sings a few words.

Tumbling with the words and she starts writing again jack leans into listen parlez-vous Francais. I'm pretty booked cats replies. He turns to Jack whose chin thrust into the beep lalalalalala Cat sings with

and with the string part she raises her arms and starts belly dancing and

and then collapse

and they're going in until it finishes.

What a morning. We haven't even had breakfast yet cats. Laughs you hungry. Jack says starving, and yes, I love Falafel. He Chuckles.

You hungry. Tyler says cat says starving and yes, I love Falafel Jack Chuckles.

and Teddy says

hmm never had for breakfast before the music stopped. That's a hell of a playlist. Jack says used to train to that back in the day. Well, how about we train to it this day?

That was a fun warm-up at least upper body cats nods. OK back to your roof question Once Upon a Time in her Ackley on Crete the Greek island just in case you owe four nines have never been there.

There's this gorgeous. It's gorgeous go to mottola and if you get more risque core foes, I think is the Nikes Beach. Anyway, I locked myself out of the second floor apartment. So I went up to the roof flat roof and saw a long garden hose. So I tied it to this concrete embedded post and took it to the edge and then threw it over.

Oh God, Jack says you didn't Teddy says Katz holds up one finger and just wait for it fashion. And it reached to the balcony of my Greek sister's apartment. So I looked down to the ground and I pulled hard on a garden hose. It stretched a little on the hot Greek sun. And so I thought I'm not going to fall. I'll Die Another Day. I love that fencing scene with Madonna, but that's another.

Story for another day. They both nodded forward incredulously. So I threw my legs over and drop down with my legs against the wall. Holy fuck. Teddy says, oh my God, Jack says

Obviously I made it however my hands oh they say in unison. They both went and blow air out reflexively clenching their fists. Yeah, no chalk. No gloves not rope Burns, but garden hose gymnast crew weightlifter callous ripping open nasty-looking, but I was in and didn't have to spend the rest of the day outside waiting for everyone to get home from work.

Back in 95 plus humid. What's that Celsius almost 40 degrees?

Teddy says exactly 38

Wow, look I'm saying we got to get this party started grinning and throwing back the covers exposing the cat and the tent I'm getting nauseous. I'm so hungry. It could be 11 EDT EDT 7 PDT midnight, Aussie Island time she stretches and then rolls over lie lying between both of them.

Thank you for that that will definitely be up there in top confinement. Memories Avec. Plaisir says Jack ditto says Teddy. Okay. Let's do this. They say in unison. Oh, wait our spark romance for today. They each take one Teddy says

Mate, nodding to Jack to go first go on a road trip planned or spontaneous Jack. I wish let's do it road trip. They yell in unison the phone rings.

Cats jumps up. It's the remote cardio vascular Clinic about her blood pressure readings and they recommend a lifestyle changes for three months and then do more readings.

And then they'll make another plan.

Teddy

your turn Teddy your turn watch the sunrise and sunset on the same day. Oh my God says cats. I love those films you guys we have to do the trilogy marathon that someday you mean Before Sunrise Before Sunset before midnight says Jack Bingo Bond.

Teddy laughs

I'm crashing get some Greek yogurt. I'll make smoothies. I'll make omelet but once lamb kebabs for lunch. Yeah says Teddy pumping air fist clenched fresh mozzarella on Bayou spinach with sprouts and sunflower seeds Jack laughs sounds delish cats and apple Gully for dessert with coconut ice cream will break training for awesome sons in the universe she weeks she

Thanks her phone Jingles her son's tone. He's Lee. He's leaving in half an hour. Got to make the dough you need to eat says Jack spooning some yogurt into her mouth as she grabs the flower out of the freezer Cleopatra her puzzle and meows for more.

Teddy hits the blender and Jack and cats jump. Jeez, Louise, Teddy

warning start practicing saying warning loud noise for your tribe of kids some will likely start to cry at the blender scare the vacuum excetera Jack Grins and makes good idea face Cleo starts licking the yogurt that

Jack put on the table as he was cracking eggs into the omelet Cleo says cats that's mine. She has yogurt on her nose and is licking it off. Oh the gifts gifts for B&B. She grabs a wine bottle bags from the drawer a bottle of Limoncello and two chocolate bars rubber stamps from the art supply box in the kitchen table.

Teddy and Jack look on and curiosity and awe. She takes out a heart shape rubber stamp and letters and they laugh at the box that says Family Jewels Size Matters. The timer goes off soup smells good Teddy peers into the pot.

What's a guy whatever you said? He says golay says cats rustic French open-faced art.

Russian a rustic French open-faced tart

Jack guesses smiling and smiling and Winks at cats Bingo again Bond. You're up to oh and smirks. Teddy puffs up his chest. He could be here any minute. Why are you rushing around like a chicken with your head cut off Teddy queries. She turns to him with a rubber spatula and says, you're both one of three kids, right they nod

Was your mother not always running around like this and Unison they say no and shake their heads and cross their arms over their chest.

She turns her back madly peels carrots with biting her lip. Oh, wait a minute. Your mom's both had have loving participating loyal respecting dignified women cherishing husbands, didn't they?

They drop their arms and turn to each other with looks of gratitude understanding for maybe the first time just how unicorn their childhoods were.

Yes, they did do solidly respectfully knowing this has made them the TMM be they are.

This is made them Kick-Ass uncles and we'll make them accession exceptional husbands and fathers grandfathers and fathers and law.

Okay. Well, I think it's fair to say that I that hasn't been my experience this lifetime. And now that I think about it most of my previous lifetimes yet. They both say whipping out their phones. They madly enter their personal passwords type and swipe and Jack keeps tapping.

Teddy looks at Jack made you effing. Remember the password?

He doesn't look up he just Smiles start scrolling and quickly glances up at cats who says Bingo again. Jack Bond 3-0.

Making a drawing three lines in the air Teddy groans.

Jack rattles off. The password sharing is caring says cats such nice boys. I do. Hope I am lucky enough to meet the parents phenomenal people for the Apple never Falls far from the tree the Apple never Falls far from the tree, they finish her sentence.

Okay, go grab your trays and back to bed.

He's pulling up now.

As she looks out the window the parking space 3 and sees the blue Honda pulling up go run to go. She waves her hands like scoot scoot scoot Cleo sits in the window and squint your eyes.

Cats takes a deep breath time is my friend. Merci Mademoiselle James. Merci. Beaucoup Mercy Universe Mercy Mercy Mercy.

Her phone rings B's tune saying do you have quarters? Can you bring some down and help me bring stuff in he'll be inside and like five minutes after he starting laundry.

grabs her jacket and bandana

She takes off her rings and puts them in a jar and back in the drawer. She washes her hands drives them on the Flour Bakery dish towel and puts on Zen Pandora. She opens the door to the bedroom and tosses.

All of her riding onto the bed guard this with your lives.

Yes, ma'am.

She closes the door throws a handful of quarters from the glass snake Bowl on her desk shelf grabs her rain boots opens the bathroom window puts them outside puts on her bandana leaves her house slippers throws her legs over the sill and into her boots.

and

runs down the stairs with our heart pounding. She's waving. Hey Yahoo! You're here. I miss you so much. He laughs me to mums me too. Good to be here. Really really he swallows great to see you too. They hug.

Isn't he awesome?

And don't you think I don't know what you're doing in here. Push up contest how much you can bench.

burpees

I got that they look up sneakily.

He's coming.

Not bad. Teddy says heard him reply to your fish compliment. She grins playing dominoes Galilei later. Don't go away. I'll be right back to train after he goes.

home

It's quiet. She opens the door smiling from ear to ear.

With apple gelle and then seize their glum faces what you miss me that much.

I miss my mom's Teddy says as Tyler says I mean as Jack says I miss my mom. Oh, oh, well, of course you do and she's crazy worried missing you so far away. Well, maybe not this far away.

I don't.

I know how you are able to be in two places at the same time in different time zones and all that Quantum leaping. Oh for nine stuff. I have freshly made with Like Water for Chocolate fresh Apple golay.

Where's the ice cream?

Where's the ice cream? I heard you yelling about.

I heard him. He said it's dry crust not like the last one. He noticed you were rushed kind one good kid. She bites her lip. He's an only child. He ate all the ice cream.

There is a remarkable resemblance. Jack said I see what you mean.

Well, I'm in dire need of an app. So let me in and I've got a surprise for you a toy. You'll really love to play with after snaps.

She rolled over onto Teddy's chest. She whispered sleepily.

You are the greatest man in the world. She fell immediately to sleep.

As their Forks clinked on their plates, they grinned and ate every last crumb then they put them aside slid down and promptly fell asleep.

She started twitching and they grinned already.

She did a lot of Sprint cooking for him.

Hmm. She makes little noises and rolls over onto Jack's chest pulling Teddy 2 spoon her he reaches over and cups her right breast kisses her lightly on the neck and Whispers sweet dreams into her ear.

the sound of electric hedge trimmers

is in the background and cats opens one's i11 opens one eye the boys are sleeping. She grins and takes her fingers and walks first up Jacks torso and tickles under his jaw. Then he grabs her hand puts a fingers to his lips like she enrolls over and does the same thing to Teddy.

And pulls she pulls on his beard and he doesn't even know he doesn't even open his eyes but lightning grabs her by the wrist and flips her on her over on her back. Whoa, what the fuck Jacqueline jumps up to intervene Teddy opens his eyes and looks at cat's face and tear and Jack looking really concerned and angry.

Cats breaks his silence. I'm okay. You're okay. We're okay.

May I make a teeny suggestion?

More comedy less survival games at least until all this real-life sci-fi ends or maybe just forever. I mean more family films or rom-coms or something Life's Too Short. You don't want to accidentally snap your kids neck when they crawl into bed with you because they've had their own night terrors.

Today takes a deep breath.

Sorry, really, really? Oh God that's never happened before well, except when my Bros are home. They all grinning nod heads and understanding.

Okay. Remember the Prezi this would be a good time. She brings the Amazon box in with to dinner knives starts to hold them out and as they reach she grabs them back everybody's testosterone and amygdalas in check.

Jack Chuckles

and nods Teddy nods and does his lip smile lip-licking thing.

Okay you each get to open one end and look inside on the count of three. They Square Off knives. Pope poised 3 2 1 go run to go.

Simultaneously they shout TRX. Hell, yeah, they drop the knives and madly rip the Box apart with bare hands cardboard shreds flying all over the bedroom a rip trainer for reals. Hit me.

Jack I must be dreaming. This is a dream. He slaps his hands on his chest and looks up to the ceiling. Thank you God. Thank you.

Jack says cats. I've never felt like someone gave me such what I needed right when I so needed it. Thank you. Thank you.

Teddy takes out the guidebook and flicks it redundant.

Jack Grins and takes out the token car enhance it to cats registration card. Hmm.

Thanks, Jack.

I'm so glad it came today Divine timing. Okay, you guys playing with it. I'm going to do my program.

I meet with my coach tomorrow and I got to take a health appointment with my Sports Talk at 9 a.m. Tomorrow.

Teddy is ripping open the drawstring bag and periodically holds it to his chest and he kisses it and yells. Yeah.

It's on boys. Have fun and get huge. She grins and winks.

He madly disassembles it he madly assembles it and jumped to his knees on the bed unclips the harbinger and whips the strings.

the straps so it flips

unraveling on the bed and he grasps the bars assembling in a nanosecond careful cat says and Jack make space to avoid getting hit his biceps are Flex tight as he twists the bars together and says a rip trainer. Oh my fucking God. I love you forever.

Jack Chuckles, it really is awesome. Really awesome. He holds out his hand to take a turn sharing is caring cat says she puts on her black yoga pants and top.

The Romantics comes on what I like about you. She grabs him by the hand and jumps them up into the living room and starts dancing in front of them. Teddy shakes his head. She laughs and blows him a kiss. You can just tap your foot no drama mate and Winx.

Jack dances and she shimmies at the end and they're all laughing.

I got a good feeling comes on and Teddy goes to the TRX and starts pumping the bar to the music the Rope moving in a super cool spiral to the beat and he puts it down and pretends to jump rope and Jack jumps in and then cats and then she starts doing jump and jump squats.

To jump and they join in and then she goes down into planks and then push ups and she crumbles but they Teddy and Jack do 20 and then clapping push-ups cats claps. Yes. Yes. Yes go run to go slip slap slop.

And Teddy breaks down cracks up and crumbles and rolls on his back Laughing. Jack keeps going and then Teddy scrambles back and they go into exhaustion. Whatever. The actual score is. Everything will be alright comes on water anyone cats offers. Yes, they shout in unison, please she returns with two water bottles and two glass liter bottles.

Handing them each a glass bottle one with Teddy and one to Jack everyone chugs the bottles empty. They chug and Eminem One Shot comes off.

They took is its if it's a real race and cats is laughing and drinking and whatever the actual score is.

Cat screams. I trained to this at crécy flashback to dragon and Tim Collins and other pitchers in the bullpen.

Memories comes on David guetta's. Oh my God cat says Eyes Wide Open.

Teddy and Jack look at each other and then cats she says are you thinking what I'm thinking Teddy? Not likely.

Jack laughs what are you thinking cats?

This is like a scene in a movie. I mean, this is the best soundtrack ever well to me.

Teddy laughs this Pandora. Yeah.

Jack laughs

Oh, right. I choose these songs, but the order I didn't pick and the timing.

Is me and this is like princes bride magical fairytale 21st century. She's looking like a little girl who suddenly grew up in a standing next to the real deal nights. No Shining Armor just shining enormous Hearts generous loving loyal respectful.

Then bad guy comes on Billy Elish. Oh my God, Teddy and Jack burst out laughing. She starts making them dance around Jack can swing dance with her and she Tangos across the room and spins on her toes and pretends. She's with Al Pacino.

To Matt too bad you missed this. Mr. Pacino, Teddy. Laughs

And Jack grabs her and dips her she stands up and without you comes on and she gets the look of cheering up and looks at both of them.

This is true.

When this is over, you're going to leave aren't you both of you? Of course, you have your damsels your ladies, you're hot Bond babes your families your houses and lives Tears start streaming down her face. They look at her feeling visibly torn and nodding their heads in agreement shrugging their their shoulders. Like what can they do? It's true. They aren't her monogamous oo sevens.

Jack hey, he's out there. Look. We're not the only ones Teddy. He's right. We'll find him don't give up. You got this. I reckon you'll make some blog pretty happy someday. He Winks she wipes her tears and laughs and makes a face like shit, dude.

That melts my in steps every time no one ever said that to me Jack hell they didn't recognize what was in front of them. It's not you know, I'm too old now. I'm not pretty enough or tall enough for sexy enough or smart enough. Stop. It. Teddy says not true. Jack says should I stay or should I go comes on and they all turn and face the are book and look weirded out and start looking around like

There's some Magical Force around them.

And this used to be my ringtone on the jukebox.

Cat starts dancing and they crack up no effing way. Yes way. She shouts she does belly dancing hip walk and they stare she goes into the twist for the refrain and shimmies and they cover their eyes.

Spin doctor two princesses come to Prince's comes on Liam says or Teddy says okay. This is getting freaky cats goes to the screen. That's it's it's doing it all on itself. I don't have a thumbs up on that look.

Teddy and Jack both walk over and look down and then look at each other.

Okay, look I instagrammed you that I believe anything is possible and I've been thinking the you the universe and being grateful and accepted my brain injury and forgave everybody everything like I don't know a few weeks ago. Do you think that has something?

to do with

her phone goes off her son texts you having stomach issues?

Queen Under Pressure comes on no ha ha. I've gone to the bathroom like six times in the past 15 minutes from face.

Oh shit. Do you have a fever she texts test. Text Dad. Is he or Mike sick house Britt stay hydrated don't want you to faint.

She looks up.

At her imaginary Heroes. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. She says Teddy says what what is somebody sick?

Teddy says what what?

Is somebody sick Jack says? Yes, she looks up from her phone and is tearing up and starts to cry. Oh God, they say together not bow. She nods.

Right around comes on.

He texts. No, I feel fine. Otherwise, she looks up and looks at the laptop. Okay, he's okay. He's going to be okay. Yes. He's going to be okay more likely diarrhea maybe something from the fish I cooked.

White America Eminem comes on cats winces nasty. She goes to skip and then stops when she sees the title. Oh my God, it's called White America.

She starts listening to the words and gasps. She doesn't touch the computer.

He texts something about the black-eyed remedy and she says maybe you're proving the remedy stop the arsenicum album.

Can you believe how appropriate that is white America?

Yeah, epic says Teddy.

Usher's yeah comes on and they all granted going again.

Jack goes and looks yeah, it's from the confessions album, Jack walks over and takes her by the hand and they have locked eyes and dance slowly Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence Silver Lining Playbook cat says

Teddy did Jennifer ever say anything on set at The Hunger Games?

Then LMFAO Sexy, you know comes on and cax text with bow, and she throws the phone down at Speedos cats. Yellow Burgers shimmy thing Teddy picks up the TRX and starts fake pole dancing.

Jack cracks up and is bent over holding his abs. He's laughing so hard stop dude. You're killing me. He does stop he starts running around in the living room and do it pretend doing deadlifts and bench pressing with a bar cats is

crying laughing

Fort Minor remember the name comes on they all look in disbelief.

then the alarm goes off and she grabs her phone and sees into pool room is on her phone she turns the phone to Teddy look at this he takes the phone looking at it like it's an ancient

like its ancient and sees on the back of fortune cookie fortune that says establish Harmony and balance in your life he nods like yeah good idea

then flip the phone over it's gone black it's black he says I had one of these like when I was in high school or middle school press the black button OMC how bizarre at exactly that moment comes on

Cat says holy Mary Joseph and Jesus. I never say that she goes and looks and again, it's not thumbs that she's but she sings along with the song every time I look around it's in my face.

Teddy says okay. It's official. This is fate Jack. This is destiny cats. This is the magical power of love Faith and Grace that I will never ever ever ever ever forget.

Blue on Black comes on and Jack goes. Oh my God.

What's this Blue on Black by Five Finger Death Punch says, Teddy.

I'm spooked. Teddy says sincerely cat says

What year is this? From? What were you doing in your life when this was out? Teddy says I was eight.

I was eleven says Jack. Wow, Bill Clinton was impeached.

and

the Euro would was declared the currency for Europe.

This news rings and rings every five minutes on the end of the pool room on her phone it lights up a cat's is madly writing and doesn't dismiss it.

Jack and Teddy sit down Teddy rolls a rolling pin over his quads and then offers it to Jack. Are we going to stay up all night? Like the match said watch the sunrise and sunset overview Bridge.

By the way, I have another one Bo just brought me.

She goes and gets it and when she enters the room.

And hands to Jack.

Rihanna's sex with me comes on cats listens and looks perplexed Teddy and jack krak up and cats leaves leans in and turns it up.

Humble, she says, oh my God the loop part Teddy does his lip like thing at the even when I'm alone time.

Jack looks up at the ceiling. God saved me now cats looks at him and then Teddy. Oh God. I can't believe I'm listening to this for the first time with twin monogamous. Mr. Bonds oo for nine or o49

Janelle Monae I like that the neighbor text for the SEC the sewing machine back.

Wow, I like that cat says.

Mac Mill letter to Nipsey cats goes is this appropriate or is this the time to turn it off and get training? Did he say Obama?

How many tears did you cry when you lost someone that answers that Teddy says she hits pause, okay.

It's late. I need to train so pausing the universe merci beaucoup. That was a second epic Paradigm busting. Yeah, they say in unison epic. I mean, I know we are all believers of Miracles because of what we're going through already in our lives your lives practically half of mine. Oh God, I didn't mean to sound milfy.

But this I've never experienced anything like this. No one will ever believe me. If I tell them you're my only proof. You're my only witnesses that I wasn't here alone with just Cleo and Tina and the plants but you're in England and Australia and Callie and I am here.

From the bottom of my heart merci for being the light at the end of my tunnel.

She checks Instagram. She has one message Chic list clicks on it. What are you talking about? Who are you and where are you from?

It's from Liam the real Liam.

Oh God. Oh God. It's him the in real life him. I'm a nobody to him. I'm some weirdo. Maybe it's really all in my head. Maybe there's no such thing as monogamous. Mr. Bonds. Maybe they were completely acting maybe they didn't really care about their leading ladies maybe none of it was real. Maybe I was just imagining that they had chemistry. Maybe I just projected what I've always dreamed of maybe it is like

Rebel Wilson's rom-com hating it's all bullshit and lies demand ever really give a shit about a woman. Maybe they can't remember what it's like to live in a world where nobody sees you maybe it's just inconceivable to think about being single for 15 years not having much of your family not really give a rat's ass about you to be in a really isolated small world of just going to the library or in dalla for socialization.

ation

Do you realize how lucky you are to even be in a relationship and have another human being near you every day? Don't take any of it for granted because your life can change in a second minded.

This may feel like a lecture. Maybe it is maybe I feel snuffed by the tone who the hell am I to contact you? Well, I'm a person who watch your films and I fell in love with Teddy and Jack because I'm a Tilly Emma attili Emma with no Teddy Jack on the hers Horizon. And I know that every day is precious every moment is precious because I lost everything I was brought to my knees and drag

Through a hell that Dante never knew.

That only those with TBI or suspect CTE can really appreciate that kind of bonding in the trenches that are incredible armed forces have done for our country and have been killed or come home disabled neglected and maltreated and often abused by the very Society. They laid their lives on the line for

For president that doesn't give a flying fuck about his people or the world for that matter to many Americans are software. They need to be hard and hard where they need to be soft.

It's time to make America saying and Humane once and for all and for the rest of the world to for without Global cooperation and sacrificing the individual freedoms for the good of the collective. We will perish or at least a very large population will exit their lives leaving their loved ones in great pain anguish and many worse economic challenges.

There's No Going Back people so forget about what your life used to be or at least say goodbye to that because that life is over it died it died with CV 19

You may really really really miss that previous life. I know I did I missed me and wondered if she missed me too.

There's a lot of pressure to live the Silver Lining Playbook. We have already dolphins swimming in Venice and maybe the Great Barrier Reef will recover. I don't know.

But there's been huge sacrifice and loss of suffering and lots and lots of unresolved grief to come not being able to have the rituals and Comforts of others holding your hand shoulders to cry on welcome to my world. Ten years. No shoulder no hand 10 years three months and two weeks.

So that's what's brought about this story of my teddy. Jack till Emma fairy tale. It got me through Easter Sunday a sub hurricane burned oatmeal fire alarm. It got me through five days of confinement and Cambridge, Mass.

USA we are looking at enough another 18 to 22 months until worldwide vaccination campaign is complete.

So for that, I'm profoundly grateful for the joy and peace fun laughter and training and I cannot mention fantastic rendevouz and deeply tender moments.

Even if it was all make-believe, it got me through during five days of CV 19 when things may be peeking, who knows it was a tremendous life lesson, probably up there in the top five so far so Mercy Universe because it was all you I was just a conduit madly writing as fast as I could and laughing and crying all along the way.

Once this is uploaded by Mayday. She's gone. She's out there released to the world and hopefully appreciated because gifts from the universe deserve to be appreciated.

I really really really hope people get that now.

best wishes for all

for healthy safety security and thriving to self-actualization and Transcendence payee for a Gras Casa LeBlanc 17 of real 2020 Lavon.

The hurt tele Kate woke up this morning just Sunshine the recycling trucks. It's a new day. I will do my job. I will transcribe upload and release the fairy tale and we will see it's Destiny for I do not know its fate. But of course, I'm hoping for the gold the credits. I'm Alicia Keys If I Ain't Got You with piano vocal and version?

Stand By Me Benny King

then let it be why the Beatles remastered?

She's talking to her cat.

Cooking at the stove making herself a tray of food. She sets the table for herself and another on the roof deck.

They see that he's only

it's only her portions in the place is empty across from her. She deletes the match profile takes down all her pictures and deactivates the account and closes the lid.

This isn't for me Tina. She says the universe will bring my bond just like it gave me this story.

Cupid's Chokehold comes on the Patrick Stump Gym Class Heroes

a jack Teddy that stays out of sorghum, Teddy Jack Jack, Teddy.

She even makes me pancakes the lyrics go on.

She cracks up. Oh, Teddy. She yells out.

Rihanna's S&M comes on at the very end to get a laugh out loud explicit. She's TRX sitting on the roof deck and the Drone takes off over the roof deck love that dirty water over Fenway closing out Titanium by David guarda.

Nothing, but yes Universe. Yes. Yes. Yes. Merci Whistle Flo Rida put that in there somewhere call on me. Eric pride is

litha

Acknowledgements: Kate Winslet, Liam Hemsworth, Tyler Hoechlin, Abraham in Nigeria, Grace Talusan, Mary Bonina, Farmers To You, gather here, Shu-Chi Liang, Janice Knapp-Cordes, Susan Landibar,

Quinton Zondervan, Dan Totten, Tessa Byer, Monica Rowling, Lynne Tyree, Ian Davis, Pearl Street Librarians, Andala, Cleenland, BTH family, Eric Cressey, Pete Dubois, Tony Gentilecore,Tim Collins, Dragon Chad Rodgers, Saskwatch, MIT BrainTrust & Harvard Synapse Peer Support, Zoom, French Is Beautiful Mademoiselle Carrieanne James, Monsieur Nathaniel Drew, Denise Duffield-Thomas, Marie Forleo, Oprah, Tim Ferriss, and Cambridge Women's Center.
  1. Copy of How I Met Twin Monogamous Mister Bonds

