 
Death Is Fraternal

By Thomas Fiorini

Published by Thomas Fiorini at Smashwords

Copyright 2014 Thomas Fiorini

Smashword Edition License Notes

A sudden noise woke Tim Gordon from the only deep sleep he had managed in at least a month. At least he thought he was in a deep sleep. The fact is, like every day for the last month, Tim had barely slept at all. Somewhere between sleep and consciousness, normalcy has been overtaken in Tim's life. He doesn't rest any longer but instead lives in the past, when things were so clouded in his mind.

Somehow he felt like he was reliving something but he couldn't put his finger on it. The emptiness was like a familiar friend, yet one you wish would have stayed away. But there was something more, something about this sense of semi-consciousness that struck a chord. Glimpses of childhood flashed by faintly faded by the clouded memory. What was he forgetting? "Damn it Tim, think, think!" he thought to himself.

There is a picture engraved in his mind of death and loneliness but it is a faceless one. Tim could see the horror on the face but couldn't distinguish one single feature other than this. This faded memory, if that's what it was, took on many shapes and sizes. "Sometimes I look in the mirror and see this same strange horrible sight looking back at me" he thought. Why couldn't he remember what it was in his past that haunted him? He had this strange sensation every time this crossed his mind that he had done something, something so very wrong. There was something he was forgetting or blocking out of his mind.

It wasn't always like this; at least it wasn't for the couple of years he had Jenny in his life. This whole thing just started up about a month ago and now Jenny had been killed. Tim would do anything if only Jenny was still alive. When he met her all of those faded memories disappeared and they were replaced with new hope, a new beginning. Their courtship was quick and certain and it all was part of his happiest memories. Tim and Jenny were married in September in a lavish affair that lived up to everything Jenny had ever hoped for. Her father, Commander Stevens, had made sure that she enjoyed the wedding of her dreams. Though he didn't realize it this was his final gift to his only daughter and he was happier than he ever imagined on that beautiful day.

What he should have known was that this wedding would wind up contributing to her very death. The only positive thing left from Jenny's life was her 6 month old daughter Jessica. She was, of course, beautiful like her mother, innocent in every way possible. Jenny had been his little girl, the one person who made him want to be more than he had ever been to her mother. Of course he had loved her mom but unlike the old saying, absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder. Years of military life had taken its toll on their marriage and the two of them drifted apart over time, contributing to her having an affair. He had to make sure Jessica was taken care of from here on out for his daughter's sake. He hadn't seen his granddaughter since she was born but from the pictures it was incredible how much she looked like Jenny when she was that age.

It was one of the coldest days in years in Norfolk the day he was escorted off the aircraft carrier, the USS Enterprise. He found Jenny's mother, Donna waiting for him at the end of the pier. God help me for thinking this now of all times he thought, but "God, she is still so beautiful". Jonathan asked "What happened to her Donna? Please tell me it isn't true." He could tell in her expressionless eyes that it was true, his baby was dead. He felt a wave of emotion run through him, almost wishing he was still in the Persian Gulf. Donna merely looked at him, eyes hollow and dark like pools of lava, sadder than he imagined only his own could rival.

"What happened?" he asked Donna yet again. She couldn't even manage a word and broke down into tears, slowly at first, then uncontrollably streaming down her face. There was a sense of vulnerability that he saw in her for the first time in so many years. Things had been so hardened between the two of them for so long that this shook him in a way he never imagined possible.

How many times had Jenny tried to make him feel something, anything, toward her mother besides contempt? Jonathan suddenly felt so guilty about ever doubting Donna and the life they had built with Jenny. The thing is Jonathan had discovered she was seeing a guy while he was away on a six-month tour of duty. Robert Madison was only his best friend since high school, the one man he always thought he would trust with his life and here he was screwing around with his wife.

The two friends hadn't spoken since Jonathan found out about the affair, even though he knew they had not continued seeing one another. He knew the affair ended after spending every spare minute for years keeping tabs on their every move. Oh yes, years of military training and use of a few contacts made this a simple mission, as he saw it. Robert had tried to reach out many times but Jonathan couldn't allow it after what had happened.

Here in this fateful moment in time, feeling the loss for his beautiful daughter, he also felt empty in ways he never imagined. He wanted to take back the past that saw everything change in his world. He wanted his best friend back to help him figure out how to keep going through this tragedy. He wanted to be able to console Donna, and bring her back from the deep wells of emptiness that are now pooled in the gaze of her eyes. Hell, what he truly wanted was to bring his daughter Jenny back from the darkness that surely enveloped her.

Jonathan knew none of these things would happen. Everything he had to live for was taken from him like a last breath from a dying man. His life was stolen away, and he had nobody to blame but himself. He knew the dark cloud that hung over Tim's past, but he chose to ignore it after seeing such happiness in Jenny's beautiful green eyes. He wrestled with himself for months leading up to the wedding but just couldn't bring himself to do anything to take that smile away from his lovely little girl. He could handle any situation that could ever arise once Jenny and Tim got married. After all, he was the Commander of the single most powerful carrier in the US Navy. After 9/11 he had led the breakup of the biggest terrorist group in the world so he had a proven record of facing down evil. At least he had convinced himself he could handle anything that might happen.

Shaking himself back to reality, he turned to see the mother of his child still standing there, drained of all emotion, appearing childlike herself. He had never told her of his fears about Tim as their life together had been torn apart long before those fears came to light. Jonathan looked at her and realized how much Jenny had looked like her. He could imagine seeing the same look on his daughter as she realized her life was closing so prematurely. Her eyes wore the expression of a woman who has had the life and soul stripped from her, leaving a shell of a woman. The only difference is this shell isn't about to be placed in a casket and buried in the cold dark ground. This shell is his wife or at least was his wife and she is still alive.

For the first time since Jenny's wedding and that awkward dance he and Donna were forced into, Jonathan took her in his arms. He pulled her tight to his chest and just held her. She didn't resist but didn't seem any more alive than a rag doll at first. After several minutes of motionless silence she suddenly gasped as if she was taking her first breath. She said "Jonathan, what are we going to do?" He said "Donna, we will get through this ordeal somehow. Jenny would have wanted us to come together in this situation and help each other through it, not to mention Jessica"

That was the moment he decided he had to tell Donna what he knew, what he feared about Tim. The thing is, would she believe him and actually listen to what he was going to tell her? He had never shared anything he had learned or suspected about him with another living being. It was all too hard to imagine and how could he make her see that there is a veil of evil hidden right in front of Tim. He always had a way of setting people at ease, that smile and smooth way about him. But Jonathan knew there was another side of him, a darker side. He was a calculating sadistic bastard hiding behind this unsuspecting exterior.

Jonathan said "Donna, I need to tell you something but I need you to be quiet and listen with an open mind. Tim isn't who you think he is and I think he is responsible for Jenny's death." "Don't do this Jonathan! Please don't twist this into one of your tales of espionage or whatever the Hell you are thinking" she replied. "Donna, just let me tell you what I found out about Tim; how guilty I feel that I didn't do something to stop him from marrying Jenny" Jonathan said.

Jonathan thought back to the first time he met Tim just a little more than two years ago and laid it all out for Donna to hear. Of course Jonathan was not just a father, he was a military officer. He dealt with trust issues within his own ranks as well as the people from the countries we consider our allies. A good Commander trusts no one on the surface and it is something that must be earned and proven. When it comes to his precious little girl it comes with all the doubt in the world and he would use every investigative skill he possesses.

As he looked at Tim's family history he found things that made him suspicious that something was amiss. Of course some of the information he had accessed wasn't in public records but why not use the resources available to a highly regarded naval officer? The first disturbing thing he found about Tim was when he was only 10 years old. Tim had never mentioned it but apparently he had a twin brother named Travis. Jonathan had gotten access to some police files about an incident that happened in the summer of 1999. Tim and Travis had stolen a car and wrecked while driving it away.

The only other thing he found that included Travis was a police report about his disappearance several years later. The boys had gone for a walk one day and they cut through the woods on their way home. Tim told his mother that they were chased by someone or something and got separated. Travis was never found and was later declared dead.

That wasn't the only suspicious death he found surrounding Tim throughout his lifetime. His cousin Amy had drowned in the river while the two of them were swimming. His high school girlfriend reportedly killed herself by jumping off the cliff at Bush Bluff after a football game one Friday night. He was questioned about the murder of a college student when he was 17. Over a few years around that time there had also been several homeless people down by the docks that had been killed. When he was 18 his mother had died from a fall down the stairs at their home. During the two years he attended Tidewater Community College there were girls that had been brutally beaten to death on campus. Now Jenny was the latest person to die, savagely beaten, cut dozens of times, leaving her looking like some sort of sick jigsaw puzzle.

Jonathan went on to tell Donna that Tim had been investigated numerous times by police in connection with the earlier deaths but no evidence ever convinced police to pursue things any further. There was one detective, Sgt. Ames, who really felt that Tim was involved in each and every case prior to taking whatever he knew in his gut to the grave. Ames had been killed in the line of duty when he happened onto a mugging in progress on his way home one night. His file showed he was investigating the killings of homeless people at that time.

Chapter One

It was brisk for a summer day in July, especially in Virginia where it was usually sweltering this time of the year. Jean Gordon watched her two boys, Tim and Travis head out the door to play. "Be back in time for dinner!" she yelled as they ran down the steps and across the yard. Jean felt a chill creep slowly down her spine causing her to tremble quite noticeably. She almost ran after the twins to tell them to come back and stay in the yard today, but she shrugged the feeling off as silliness and went back to the laundry. It was hard raising two boys alone, especially two boys like she had. She hadn't so much as looked at a man since her husband left when the boys were very young. Her time was spent taking care of them and for some unknown reason she was afraid to bring a man into their lives.

Like a lot of twins Tim and Travis were always together and today was no exception. Travis was always the dominant one and Tim pretty much followed him along in every way. Even though they were not identical twins they still shared emotions and thoughts with each other without even trying. After playing on the swings at the park for a while Travis told Tim he was bored with this. "Let's go see what's going on down at the river" Travis said. They found a spot to hide behind the teenagers who were swimming and playing at the river's edge.

Travis told Tim to grab all of their clothes they had left lying in the grass while they were swimming. Tim didn't want to get them pissed off but Travis kept pushing until he gave in. He crept ever closer and closer until he was sure they would turn around and see him. Luckily they were too busy playing in the water and he grabbed all he could carry and ran as fast as he could. He never looked back and ran right past Travis and didn't even turn around to risk a look behind him.

"What are we going to do with all of their clothes?" Tim asked Travis when he finally caught up to him. Travis looked through the pockets and found $35 between them all as well as a set of keys. He took the keys and money and tossed the clothes in a trash can at the park. Tim didn't like the look on his brother's face with that almost sinister smile. "Let's find out which car this key is for." Travis told Tim. Tim knew better than to argue with Travis even though he knew this was a bad idea. The last time he argued with him Travis had jammed a stick in the spokes when he was riding his bike and he flipped over the handlebars.

No, he was going to go along with Travis on this one. They searched the parking lot car by car and finally found the old beat up Plymouth Horizon the key belonged to. Travis told Tim "Let's go for a ride!" But Tim just couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Travis, neither one of us can drive a car!" Tim pleaded. Travis told him to work the pedals and he would handle the steering. He had seen their mom do it enough to figure it out.

Tim thought about fighting Travis on this but decided that he would just have to go along. Travis started the car and Tim got down on the floor to operate the pedals. Travis told him to step on the gas and they were actually moving! Travis steered the car as well as he could and told Tim to go faster. Tim was oblivious to whatever Travis was doing so he pushed harder on the gas pedal. He couldn't see a thing but he could tell they were moving pretty damned fast.

A few seconds later they came to a sudden halt, the sound of metal grinding and crashing. He expected Travis to be shocked but he squealed in delight instead. It was an eerie sound but Tim had heard it before and knew his brother was in his own world right now. He wouldn't hear Tim if he bothered to say anything. Travis scared Tim when he got like this, like he relished bad things happening instead of worrying about them. Tim knew this was not going to be a good night.

Tim crawled out from under the dash to see what had happened and he saw a van and a really sharp convertible next to them with huge gouges down the side of each of them. The Horizon was smashed all the way down the passenger side after sideswiping the two other cars. "Travis, what happened?" Tim asked. Travis just smiled and said, "That was awesome!" Tim asked him if anybody was in the other cars and Tim thought Travis looked rather sad when he replied "No, they were both empty."

They got out of the car and ran home as fast as they could. When they were eating dinner a couple of hours later their mom was watching the news and Tim got really worried when the lady on TV talked about the wrecked cars at the park. He looked over at Travis and saw that familiar smile, or should it be called a sneer? Either way it was obvious his brother was pretty proud of his earlier exploits.

A couple of days later there was a knock at the door and when Tim answered it his heart sank. Standing there before him were two uniformed policemen. They asked to speak to his mother and before he could turn around she was already behind him. "Can I help you?" she asked but somehow she knew her boys had gotten into trouble. "Ma'am, we need to talk to you about an incident that happened on Tuesday." Officer Blackman said.

"There was a car that was stolen at the park and wrecked shortly afterward." he said. She told him she didn't understand what this had to do with her and he began explaining. He told her that witnesses had told them two young boys were the ones they saw running from the car after it had crashed. Tim and Travis matched their description so they were taken down to headquarters for a lineup. She begged them not to take her sons, "they are only little boys." she cried out.

At the station they were quickly identified and turned over to juvenile authorities. Tim was terrified but Travis seemed to relish the experience. Ms. Crandall from Norfolk Children's Services took the boys to her office where they were joined by an elderly gentleman. They soon found out that he was Dr. Shelton, the therapist assigned to their case. "So how are you boys doing this morning?" he asked. Tim just sat there near tears and didn't say a word. Travis looked much like the proverbial cat that ate the canary as he boasted "We're great!" as Tim began to cry.

Dr. Shelton asked Ms. Crandall if she could take Travis out to the outer office while he spoke to Tim. The tears stopped as if someone flipped a switch and Tim said, "I want Travis to stay with me". Dr. Shelton insisted however and Ms. Crandall led Travis out of the room. "So tell me Tim, or is it Timmy, do you understand why you are here?" "Don't let Travis hear you call me Timmy! He told me Timmy's a baby's name and we aren't babies!" Dr. Shelton apologized and told Tim to please tell him why they were in that car.

"It was all my idea so leave Travis alone" Tim said, though he knew it wasn't the truth. He went on to say that he made Travis go along and he did it because he was bored. "I was just playing around so what's the problem?" he asked. "You can't take other people's things and call it playing around Tim", the doctor said. "Don't you see that you could have hurt someone or been hurt yourself?" Tim turned away and just sat there, refusing to talk any longer.

Dr. Shelton went out to talk to Travis and told him that Tim had admitted it was all his idea. "That doesn't mean you aren't still in trouble too" he said. He asked Travis if Tim was always pushing him to go along with him and Travis said "He always makes me do things I don't want to do but he scares me so I go along". The doctor told him he would make sure Tim got some help so this would never happen again. Travis simply smiled, seeming very content at the moment.

Jean Gordon was finally allowed to see her boys and asked what was going to happen to them. Dr. Shelton told her that would ultimately be decided by the court but most likely Travis would be able to return home soon. "What about Tim? Isn't he coming home soon too?" The doctor explained to her that Tim admitted to being the one that was responsible for everything so he would have to wait and see what was in store for him. She burst into tears, saying she couldn't bear to leave without both her boys.

Jean was surprised at the hearing for the boys when the judge ordered that both boys could come home. Tim wasn't happy to hear that he would have to continue seeing Dr. Shelton a few times a week. Travis just shrugged it off like he didn't have a care in the world. Tim looked at his brother and thought he saw a smug sort of smile. The truth is that Tim is afraid of Travis, so afraid he can't tell a soul because he knows he will pay for it in the end. That is why he lied and took the blame for him.

Chapter Two

Jean Gordon often thought about that year in '99 when the trouble started with the boys. Being honest with herself she knew it started more than a few years before that. But how could little boys be so destructive at such a young age? She ignored the signs for a long time, convincing herself that she was reading something into the whole thing. The twins were different than other boys because they were somehow connected together, feeding off each other for everything. They shared emotions and intelligence; both having tested as young geniuses.

They also shared something else, something not so positive. Jean knew it though she refused to accept it. They shared a cruel and destructive way about them. She knew Tim was the one who dragged Travis into going along with his sick behavior. She didn't know how to stop it because Tim scared her, with the things he said and the nonchalant way he admitted responsibility for such horrible acts. Between dead animals and thefts in the neighborhood it was bad enough, but when she found out the latest neighborhood tragedy she was appalled.

The twins were 11 when she suspected they were involved in three little five year old boys' near death experience at a local park. The kids' story unfolded in the news about being blindfolded and held captive in an old abandoned cabin at the park. They were reported missing one Saturday in June and were found three days later. They couldn't identify their captors but told police there were two boys who sounded "kind of the same". "One of them bossed the other one around" they agreed. "In fact, he told the other one to kill them a couple of days after they were taken."

"He told the other kid he was crazy and no way was he going to do that" they told police. "They argued and the one kid told the other one that he would just kill him along with the three of us" they continued. After hearing the other kid give in and say he would do it all three of them had begun crying hysterically. Next thing they knew they were being put in a car trunk, thinking they were surely going to die. They couldn't even make out the muffled voices as they felt the car start to move. After a few minutes the car stopped and they heard one car door open and close right before the car started moving again. Now there was no muffled chatter that they could hear, just the sound of the car's engine as they drove.

After about 20 minutes the car came to a stop and the trunk was opened. They heard the one kid tell them to "take off and don't say a word to anybody". They took off their blindfolds after they heard the car drive away and when they looked they didn't see anybody. They couldn't see anything but darkness all around, not a moon or star in the sky. They walked toward the only distant light they could find and it was the next morning that someone saw them and stopped to help.

Jean knew this had to be the result of Tim, the monster that she had apparently created. She thought "Thank God Travis didn't go through with killing the boys. At least they could go home to their parents, even though their dreams would likely be haunted for years to come". She knew she had to confront Tim that night and talk to Travis as well. When the boys came home around dinnertime Jean told the two boys "we need to talk about what you two are doing".

Immediately Travis spoke up and said "We aren't doing anything Mom!" She ignored him and looked directly at Tim and asked "What did you do to those poor boys on the news and where in the world did you get a car?" Tim denied it, of course, but she kept pressing him for an honest answer. Travis is the one that spoke up, saying "It was all Tim's idea Mom. I tried to talk him out of it but he wouldn't listen to me. You were sleeping when he took your car and he even wanted me to kill them but I let them go instead".

"Go to your room Travis, I need to talk to Tim privately." After Travis left Jean asked "What the Hell is wrong with you Tim? What would make you do such horrible things to innocent little kids?" Tim just looked ahead blankly, not knowing what to say. Jean kept pressing and Tim continued to stare off into space, ignoring her. In reality he heard every word but pretended to ignore here. He knew she was right but he had been the one that let the kids go, not Travis. He wanted to tell her, he really did. He thought "What was the worst that could happen?" Tim recalled the look of fear, no complete terror, he saw on those little kids' faces the night he let them go. He was part of that because he didn't stand up to his brother and tell someone what he was doing.

The thing is he knew there was nothing he could do to stop him. He just had to try to keep him from doing anything too bad by pretending to go along with him. After all, if he didn't convince him he was on board there would be no reason for Travis to keep him around. He had already told Tim that he would never let him live if he told a soul the truth about anything he ever did. "Since you have admitted to a few things Mom is convinced you are the one so I get out of everything" he had once told Travis. Tim knew there was nothing he could do so he just sat there.

"Promise me you will stop all of this nonsense" she told him. He told her he wouldn't do anything wrong again but she didn't believe him. She knew in her heart this wasn't her little boy sitting in front of her. This was indeed the Devil himself posing as her son. She went on to tell him that he had to start going to counseling again and she didn't even listen to his protests. Between the counseling and her watching over him like a hawk she thought everything would be okay. "Don't talk to anyone about what you did to those boys. We will make that our secret as long as you do what you are told from now on" she said.

She felt guilty for hiding this but she couldn't risk losing Travis along with Tim. She thought to herself that nobody really got hurt since Travis had let them go so that was the only justification she needed. Jean convinced herself for some time that things really were better. After all, she barely let him out of her sight and he was seeing Dr. Shelton again. The doctor had told her things were progressing very well and he was genuinely pleased with Tim's progress. At the same time her gut wouldn't let her remain so optimistic about it all. Deep down she knew the beast inside her son could never be tamed forever. It was only a matter of time before he would lash out again. She only hoped she would be there to stop him when it happened.

She made sure to talk to Travis all the time to reassure him that she knows he isn't the one to blame. He promised to tell her if Tim tried to get him to do anything else. She hoped so but thought he probably wouldn't out of fear of his brother and the bond they shared since birth. She used to think that closeness was so wonderful and had hoped it would always be that way. Now she wished it had never existed at all. Hell, sometimes she wished Tim had never been born.

Chapter Three

A year went by with nothing out of the ordinary going on with Tim as far as Jean could tell. The doctor felt that they could reduce his sessions to once a month but she wasn't sure that was a good idea. He convinced her that Tim was doing very well and was in control of his emotions for the first time in years. Reluctantly she agreed to the recommendation and Tim seemed pretty excited about it. He and Travis hadn't been spending as much time together as they did before. If only Jean had made the connection that this was the only reason things were better she might have seen things differently.

She didn't notice it right away, but things began changing pretty much right after the sessions with Dr. Shelton weren't happening as often. Sure, she told herself everything was okay now and there was nothing to worry about. The thing is she should have known, Hell she did know, her world was starting to unravel. It wasn't something you could put your finger on and control but it was something you couldn't stop even if you knew exactly what was about to happen. She was scared for her life and she didn't know what to do. She locked her door at night but knew nothing as simple as that would stop Tim if he wanted to come in.

Tim had ways of getting in your head if he wanted to and could even make you see glimpses of what could happen, what would happen. At least it would happen unless you could figure out how to change it like Travis had for those little boys. "But what could she do?" she thought. "I'm not like Travis; I have no idea how he thinks and what makes him tick." That is when she decided to confide in Travis and enlist his help to stop Tim from whatever he was planning.

She talked to Travis and he told her he was sure she was imagining things. "Tim would never hurt you Mom" he told her, but inside he was smiling to himself so broadly that he was sure she would see it. "She would get what she deserved" he thought to himself. He told his mother that everything would be just fine and he would keep an eye on Tim to make sure he didn't do anything to hurt her. He thought about how Tim was this little goody two shoes that nobody believed. "Hell, he had taken care of that hadn't he?" he laughed almost out loud.

All Travis could think about was "How is dear old Mother going to die?" He had dreamed of that day for years since he was only six or seven. He had envisioned so many ways but never had finalized a plan. She had never imagined what he was capable of or what she thought Tim was capable of. He went to bed that night and his body tingled as he imagined his mother's eyes glazing over as her last breaths were taken right in front of him. He got very warm all of a sudden and felt an indescribable shiver run through his body. He didn't realize at first what was happening, but he had the first orgasm of his life at that very moment.

The next day Travis told Tim that their mom was getting in the way, always watching everything they do. Tim was actually glad she was but didn't want to admit it to Travis. At least Travis wasn't making him do anything he didn't want to lately. "She's the one who made you go to counseling" Travis told Tim. Tim thought to himself "You're the one who should get counseling Travis." Of course he couldn't say it out loud and think he could get away with it. The two of them hadn't spent much time together for a while but Tim could see the changes taking place with his brother. He was evolving in a way that could only lead to an even darker future.

Travis had been very resentful that Tim wasn't around much to help him do anything fun these days. Fishing and riding his bike was just plain boring and he needed excitement. Probably the only thing that kept him motivated was the time he would plot and dream about watching his mother die. He had always planned on making Tim kill her while he looked on but he wasn't sure about that any more. He didn't want to admit it but she was the only one he was afraid of and if she ever found out the truth about Tim taking the blame there would be hell to pay.

"We need to make her see how she screwed everything up for us" Travis said to Tim. "What did she do to us?" Tim asked. Travis told him how she was always lurking around, watching everything they did. "Don't you see the way she looks at you? She hates you and is terrified of you, Tim. I think it's time we get rid of her so we can do all of the things we want." Without thinking Tim blared out "It's you that she should be scared of and it's you that she should hate!" Seeing the look on his brother's face he knew he had crossed the line and there was nothing he could do to change it. He turned and ran out the door as fast as he could but he could hear Travis coming right behind him.

He caught up to him in the woods by the park and tackled him in a clearing. Tim tried to get up and run away but Travis got on top of him and pinned him down. The look in his eyes was the most terrifying one Tim had ever seen on his brother or even in horror movies before. It was as if he looked right through his own eyes and he was convinced it was going to be the last thing he ever saw. He didn't even see Travis pull the pocket knife from his pocket. By the time he realized what Travis was doing he barely managed to shift his weight to the side as the blade came swinging down with more force than he thought possible. It felt like hot poker had hit him in the side and then the warm wetness of his blood began running down his side.

He didn't know if he screamed but he knows he tried to as Travis pulled the knife out and raised it over his head once again. Just as suddenly as he had snapped at Tim's outburst Travis stopped and pulled his hand down, dropping the knife by his side. He started crying as he looked down at his brother bleeding beneath him. "I'm sorry Tim; I didn't mean to hurt you! I don't know what happened to me!" he screeched. Tim looked on in utter disbelief as his brother tore his shirt off and looked at the wound. He seemed so worried and scared just like those little boys he had wanted him to kill. He tore a piece off of the shirt and balled it up on the cut then he tied the shirt around it tightly. Travis took off his own shirt and put it on Tim, hiding the blood from anyone they might come across.

As they walked home with Tim leaning heavily on his brother he realized something. Travis needed him to keep their mom from knowing he was the one who really did all of those things Tim had gotten in trouble for over the years. Tim thought about how he could use this to his advantage and maybe even gain the upper hand on his brother. If nothing else he could hopefully keep him from doing anything too awful. "Please don't tell anybody about this Tim" he pleaded. Tim told him he wouldn't but this proved that he was right about Travis needing him. Tim felt a lot more confident and sure of things now.

They got back to the house and went around back to avoid running into their mother. Travis went inside and got some bandages and peroxide along with a couple of shirts. He bandaged Tim up and they threw away the blood soaked shirt before sneaking up to their room. "How bad does it hurt?" Travis asked. Tim told him it wasn't all that bad but knew it wouldn't be easy to keep their mom from finding out. "You have to promise me something Travis" he told him. "Why should I promise you anything? I could have killed you back there" Travis said. Tim told his brother he would keep it all a secret if he would stop all of the talk about hurting their mother. "Screw you! You can't tell me what to do" Travis said. "Then let's go tell her the truth right now" Tim dared. Travis gave in and that's when Tim felt a huge shift of power from his brother. He confidently felt like he now had total control over Travis. The difference is he wouldn't make Travis do anything to hurt anyone.

Chapter Four

Things changed quite a bit after that day and Tim gained confidence daily for a while. Travis wasn't talking crazy about their mother and he was actually being pretty nice. Tim thought things were going to be fine from then on but that feeling was one he should have known couldn't last. Travis still fantasized about killing their mother and continued to go out and have a little fun, as he saw it, behind Tim's back. As far as Tim knew nothing was going on to worry about for the next few years. Jean had no idea what had happened that led up to it but she found herself becoming less apprehensive about Tim.

Neither of them had any inkling what was going on with Travis. He used to use Tim when he was performing his antics but he was becoming more independent with every passing day. He was evolving slowly into someone who should be feared by everyone he came across; especially his mother. His dreams and fantasies about killing her had intensified continually since the day before he had stabbed Tim, the same day he had decided he wanted to kill her all by himself.

Travis kept a low profile around his brother for years and Tim suspected nothing out of the ordinary was going on. He was able to maintain this seemingly calm exterior by watching Tim. His brother had always had a way of making people comfortable around him, except their mother, of course. Travis thought to himself that was one of his greatest accomplishments; making her believe Tim was the one she should be afraid of. He smiled smugly as he thought how this was going to play right into his plans.

Oh yes, he had been planning in his mind how to tilt the scales back in his favor and his mother's fear of Tim would be what leads to her ultimate demise. She would let him get very close to her like she had before, enlisting him to help keep an eye on Tim. It was a few days shy of the twins' sixteenth birthday when Travis couldn't contain the emotions he had held in check for so long now. Their mother was planning this big birthday party for them and family was coming from all around. She actually seemed to have lost her fear of Tim and even seemed to be warming up to him these days.

The day before their birthday Jean's brother Bob arrived with his daughter Amy. The boys had to give up their bedroom for their cousin to use during their visit. Travis never liked Amy though he didn't really know why. He thought maybe it was because she looked a lot like his mother, especially in the picture he had seen when she married their dad. Amy was a beautiful girl with long blonde hair and sky blue eyes. She was going to be a senior in high school in the fall at the age of seventeen. When Travis looked at her all he could see was an image of his own mother. Now he was going to be expected to show Amy around for a couple of days and pretend to like her. "This was going to be a real test of his ability to control himself" he thought.

"I'll carry your bags upstairs Uncle Bob" Tim said. His uncle thanked him and told him he had grown into a nice young man. Travis thought he would just puke hearing anyone be so nice to Tim. "Everybody always liked Tim and thought he was so perfect; everyone except their mother of course" Travis thought as he smiled. That could still play into his plans, the fear she used to have of Tim. Oh yes, he knew what he was going to do to make things right once again. "Poor Tim won't even realize what hit him when he goes right back to the top of Mom's hit list" he thought.

He didn't know exactly how he was going to handle everything but he sure as Hell knew how it would end. He smiled as he thought about Tim once he would come to realize that he had no control of anything anymore. This smug feeling he had gotten used to was a thing of the past. He would once again be nothing more than a tool Travis would use to fulfill his own dreams. His bitch of a mother would finally get what she has deserved for so long. He hated the way she used to treat Tim like the little "golden child" when they were really young. "What made him so special" he thought to himself. At least he had turned the tables on Tim but now she was reverting back to treating him that way again. He knew those days were numbered so he would have the last laugh.

Thinking back to early childhood Travis could hear his mother admonishing him repeatedly; "Why can't you be more like Tim" she would ask him. "Who wants to be like him? He's a sniveling little goody two shoes who doesn't know the first thing about anything that matters" he thought. Now, looking at Amy he could see his mother when she was younger, looking at him with those penetrating eyes. Somehow she could see right through him just like his mother had always been able to do. God, he hated her almost as much as he hated his mother.

Amy had no idea what was going on with Travis but she sensed his disdain for her. She couldn't begin to understand why but she could feel the chill as if the temperature had dropped 20 degrees. His cold dark stare made her feel very uneasy and she quickly averted her eyes and walked away. She went out on the porch and found Tim on the swing. They talked for a while and she soon forgot all about how Travis made her feel. Bob and Jean came out with a plate of burgers for the grill and Tim spoke up "Need some help Uncle Bob? I can get the charcoal from the garage and light the grill for you." Travis heard him from inside and couldn't stand hearing his brother be so damned nice. Amy went with Tim to get the charcoal while Travis watched from the living room window.

They had dinner out on the patio and Tim and Amy talked and talked. The whole thing made Travis sick. He looked at his mother and she seemed quite happy with Tim and he noticed she looked at him like when they were young. "She looked at him like he was her precious little angel" Travis thought. He decided enough was enough and it was time to put Tim back in his place. Otherwise his plan to kill their mother would never work out.

After dinner that night Tim and Amy went down to the river to go swimming. They asked Travis if he wanted to come along but they were secretly glad he decided not to go. They didn't think so but Travis could tell in the way they looked at each other that they never really wanted him to come anyhow. His plan was coming together quite nicely and the two of them going off together only made it easier. About twenty minutes after Tim and Amy had left Travis headed out the door, heading for the river himself.

When Travis got to the river he came around from the opposite side so they wouldn't see him. If his plan was going to work it was important that he wasn't seen at all. He watched the two of them splashing around, playing like they didn't have a care in the world. "Go ahead, have your fun" he said quietly. He thought about his mother again, just to get himself psyched up. The more he thought about her the more he could see her when he gazed at his cousin. It was uncanny how much she looked like the boys' mother, but in Travis's eyes she was more than that. He actually transformed her in his mind to actually be his mother.

He walked up stream a few hundred yards and swam slowly along the shore. He mostly stayed under the trees that hung over the far side of the river to avoid being seen. When he got close enough he watched and waited for the perfect time to sneak over to where they were playing. He saw Tim swim over to the shore and grab his cell phone so he knew it was time to make his move.

He took a deep breath and swam underwater to where Amy was standing. In one quick jerk he pulled her under and held her down beneath him. She tried to kick and pull out of his grasp but he was too strong for her. All he could think was "Die Mother, you old bitch". Of course it wasn't his mother, but was his cousin Amy but in his fantasy world they melded together. If Tim could see him right now he would see the same look he had seen in Travis's eyes every time he crossed the line. It was a look of sheer evil, one that resembled that of Charles Manson at the time of the La Bianca and Tate murders.

He felt his cousin go limp in his arms and he let her go, falling lifeless to the bottom of the river. He paused for a moment and tried to see the look on her face. The water was pretty murky but he was sure he saw the fear and panic he had hoped for. In his dreams he would surely remember even more of this day. He felt this day was a new beginning for him, like he had become a new more powerful person. He felt more alive than he had ever felt before, as if taking a life gave him life. He had never felt so much excitement, a pure adrenaline rush, like this before. Sure, he had killed a few dogs and cats before but that was nothing compared to this.

He swam downstream practically following Amy's lifeless body as he went. He hid behind some bushes and looked back up toward the place Tim was and saw him frantically looking for their cousin. "Good luck Goody Timmy Two Shoes," he muttered under his breath. He quickly ran to where he had stashed his clothes and got dressed. He saw several people running back toward Tim in response to his screams for help as he looked for Amy. He ran home as fast as he could and saw his mother and uncle were out on the patio so he went around the house and got in without being seen. He thought his plan couldn't have gone any better.

Chapter Five

Travis heard the sirens as they screamed by, heading toward the river. He heard the phone ring and relished the subsequent scream that blared out from his mother. Next thing he knew his mother and uncle came running through the living room, heading to the car. They paused only long enough for her to tell him Amy was missing down by the river. Travis said "My God, I hope she is okay", but of course he knew better. He hoped they hadn't noticed his smile, or how he almost choked on his words for that matter. The whole ordeal had left him quite excited, as it were.

Travis laid there for over three hours before he heard the front door open ever so hesitantly. "Amy drowned in the river Travis" Jean said with tears rolling down her cheeks. He looked up and saw that his Uncle Bob was as white as a ghost. And good old Timmy, he just looked downright defeated, as if someone just killed his dog. Travis thought this was the best night of his life! "Could it possibly get any better? Not anytime soon, but when dear old Mom meets her certain demise it sure as Hell will" Travis thought to himself.

Travis was shocked when Tim yelled out "It was you, wasn't it Travis? Don't deny it! You did this to Amy didn't you? Tell Mom the truth about all the things you did and blamed me for ever since we were little kids!" Travis's mind was reeling as he was trying to figure out how to respond. Things quickly turned around when Jean said "Travis was here at the house all evening Tim so stop this nonsense." Tim tried to intervene and was quickly cut off by his mother. "Go to your room right now" she yelled at Tim. He promptly went upstairs, thinking all the while he had to be right about Travis. He didn't know how he pulled it off but somehow it had to be him. He had seen the look on his face when Amy was around earlier in the day.

Tim was in bed thinking about everything when he suddenly realized how pissed off Travis must be right now. Knowing Travis there would no doubt be Hell to pay. Tim was scared but at the same time he wanted to beat the crap out of his brother for what he must have done to Amy. There was no other explanation because she was a great swimmer and nobody else was around. Besides, he knew what Travis was capable of even if nobody else did. Thinking about how his acts had progressed was a chilling reminder of how twisted Travis really was.

Travis swung the door open and Tim quickly sat up, ready to defend himself the best he could. Much to his surprise Travis sat on his bed and looked over at him and just smiled like the Cheshire cat. "What are you smiling about?" Tim asked. "Did you really think dear old Mom would believe any line of crap you throw at her? Remember, Timmy boy, I'm the good son, not you" Travis boasted. "I'm not taking any more blame for you" Tim said. Travis told him he didn't have a choice since their mother was convinced of it already.

Travis had his plan running on all cylinders, like a fine tuned engine. Once he made his mother see that Amy didn't drown accidentally but instead was Tim's doing, everything will fall right into place. It wouldn't take much power of suggestion to lead her to that conclusion, or at least raise suspicion. Either way it would get her worrying about Tim even more than before. He thought "Once she fixates on him again it will leave her vulnerable for me to finish what I've been dreaming about for a long time."

Tim went to his mother and tried once again to make her see the truth about Travis but he could see by the way she looked at him that she would never believe him. Instead she told him to admit it if he had anything to do with this. He felt totally deflated and knew there was nothing he could do or say to make his mother see the truth. No, he would have to handle Travis on his own somehow. He wasn't sure how to do it but he had to stop him from doing anything else to their family.

Sure enough, Travis told their mother he was afraid Tim had fooled them into thinking he had been behaving normally. He piled on lie after lie, telling her that Tim had threatened him if he got in his way. "Tim said he didn't have anything to do with Amy drowning but I just know he must have. Why else would he come in here accusing me? He wants to turn you against me so he can get away with it." Jean thought about it and realized Travis was right, Tim couldn't be trusted any longer.

There was a knock on the door and Jean opened it to find a man in a cheap suit standing there. He showed a badge and introduced himself as Sgt. Ames. "I'm sorry for your loss Ma'am. I'm the lead detective investigating the drowning earlier this evening" he told her. He asked her if he could talk to her son since he was the lone witness at the scene. She wanted to tell him that Tim was a monster and she was sure he had killed her niece but she just couldn't. He was one of her boys and she knew she shouldn't protect him but she convinced herself there really wasn't any proof.

She called Tim down and the detective introduced himself and told them both he was sorry to have to put Tim through this but it was routine to follow up with any witness to an accident. He asked Tim what happened and he told the detective that he was on the shore using his cell phone when it happened. "I didn't see anything at all. I just turned around and she was nowhere to be found. At first I thought she had come on shore as well" Tim went on to say. The detective seemed satisfied with the answers and told Tim that was all he needed. Tim knew better than to bring up his suspicions about Travis's involvement because it would only come back on him. With the body exhibiting no signs of a struggle it seemed pretty open and shut to Sgt. Ames. "Thank you for your time, and once again, I'm sorry for your loss" he said before leaving.

After he was gone Jean turned to Tim and told him to get out of her sight before she lost control of herself. She was already second guessing herself for not telling the detective about her suspicions. "Blood may be thicker than water but when that so called blood is purely evil all bets are off" she surmised. She knew she had to do something to stop him somehow but what could she do? The only possible choice was to get Travis to help her. The twins always had a connection that she could never understand. Of course the biggest thing was that Travis knew firsthand what Tim was capable of. Her only fear was putting Travis's life in jeopardy if Tim found out he was working with her. She had no choice but to try because neither of them was safe as long as Tim was around.

Chapter Six

Jean and the boys went back to Richmond with her brother Bob once Amy's body was released. She felt so guilty seeing Bob go through the subsequent funeral, burying his only daughter at such a young age. To think it was one of her boys that caused it was an overwhelming thing to deal with. She couldn't help but think she should have done something sooner, and if she had Amy would still be alive. She looked over at Tim at the funeral and he was so good at faking sincerity he actually appeared to be moved the most as the preacher spoke of his cousin.

The three of them returned home the next day and Jean approached Travis when she knew they were alone. She let it all out, how she knew in her heart that Tim killed Amy and she had no idea what he would do next or how to stop him. Travis pretended to care and thought it was just like reeling in a fish because this was exactly how he envisioned the next phase going down. He told his mother that he would keep a close eye on Tim and let her know anything he finds out about his plans. He thought to himself that he would definitely keep a close eye on Tim, but only to make sure he didn't interfere with his own plans.

Tim was forming his own ideas about how to diffuse Travis. He knew there was no way he was going to convince their mother that he was never behind any of the things that happened. The only thing he could do was to keep tabs on his brother and wait for the opportunity to expose him as the demented kid Tim saw he had become. He didn't know how he was going to do it but he wasn't going to give up trying.

Both boys were at that stage like two boxers in an early round, feeling each other out, trying to see which way the other was going to move. More than ever before Tim was determined to stop Travis one way or another. He and his brother used to do everything together but for the past few years they really had gone their own ways. Tim reluctantly decided to get closer to Travis, not out of desire, but out of necessity. He thought "What was it Pacino said in that old movie about the mafia? Keep your friends close and your enemies closer?" Well, Travis was at one time both a friend and an enemy so he thought that made sense to him.

Tim wrestled with how he could he not have seen Travis getting so bad. Sure, he always saw him do things that he shouldn't, hurtful things even. He had even talked about killing but had never acted on it. In fact, come to think of it, almost everything he ever did he did with Tim's help. Tim wanted to understand what could make his brother be so cruel and heartless and what makes a person decide to take another person's life?

He started talking to Travis a little more each day, just to get the dialogue moving once again. The two of them had always understood each other in ways only twins can but that was before this cloud had formed over Travis. Travis was apprehensive about getting too close to Tim again, but figured he could handle his brother. Besides, Tim could still serve a purpose in the grand scheme of things. Travis actually had always wondered why Tim didn't feel the same hatred toward their mother as he did.

Travis asked Tim if he remembered how their mother treated them when they were young. Tim said "Sure, she treated us all right" but the truth was he didn't remember. When he tried to remember things from his younger days he only saw shadows and shapes. Faces and voices were not distinguishable at all. He wondered why he couldn't visualize the past, whether there was something he didn't want to remember. Travis always told him that their mother was a bitch to them both but not as bad toward Tim. Even when he was seeing Dr. Shelton he wasn't able to get beyond these faded types of memories.

Later that night Tim was fast asleep and a dream invaded his peaceful slumber, causing him to sweat and shake uncontrollably. If Travis wasn't sleeping himself it probably would have looked like Tim was possessed until he suddenly snapped awake. He sat up and tried to catch his breath, sweat pooled around him, still trembling. When he was five or six he used to have a recurring dream that came to visit every night for about two years. He hadn't thought about it in all of those years since, but he knew immediately this was the same. He thought "Please don't start this nonsense again."

Just like when he was younger, in his dream he and Travis were in the bathtub together, splashing and having fun. They were about three years old and didn't seem to have a care in the world. They were both laughing when, without warning they were plunged face first into the water. Someone was holding them under for what seemed like an eternity, and then yanked them back up as they screamed incessantly. He couldn't hear the voice in his dream, but heard something more like a robotic sound that he couldn't understand. They were held underwater over and over until he would finally wake up. The voice was a little less harsh this time than he had remembered as a young boy, but he still couldn't tell what was being said. Tim managed to get back to sleep but tossed and turned all night long. "At least the dream didn't come back" he thought the next morning.

Travis was engrossed in his own dream that night, reliving the night he had killed Amy. Unlike Tim's fuzzy and clouded dream, his was crystal clear, clearer than that night in the murky water. It was as if he was watching the whole thing on a movie screen, bigger than life. He could feel the adrenaline rushing through his body even as he lay there sleeping. He drifted between consciousness and sleep, seeing every ounce of terror in his cousin's eyes when she knew she would die. The look intensified quickly as she got closer to her last ounce of breath. At that moment he felt her body go limp he looked at her and saw his own mother looking back, eyes glazing over until they resembled those of a dead fish on the shore. He slept so soundly he felt like he was still in the middle of his dream in the morning as if the world stopped when his cousin had died. If anyone had been there to witness it they would have seen that familiar haunting smile he had worn before.

Each night brought the same result for the two of them, Tim reliving a nightmare and Travis celebrating a fantasy come true. As for Tim the dream was slowly clearing in his mind with each passing day. It was a similar situation with Travis as his already clear dream became more vivid, with more detail. While Tim didn't realize it, this ongoing dream his brother was having kept his hunger satisfied, at least for now.

Chapter Seven

Things calmed down for quite a while and Tim and Travis got back to what seemed like a normal relationship brothers might have. Travis was mostly content with the powerful feeling he got from recalling what he would probably call the best night of his life. He continued to dream about it every night, sometimes all night, although thoughts of his mother still disturbed him. Tim began dating a fifteen year old girl who had recently moved to town. Her father was a teacher at Booker T. Washington High School, where they both attended.

The dreams Tim had been reliving once again faded almost completely, only entering his sleep about once a week. He was relieved yet disappointed about that because he wanted to remember, no, he had to remember. It was his only true chance at figuring out what was missing from his memory, maybe even find out how to stop Travis in the future. If he could understand how Travis wound up with such a warped sense of reality he had a better chance of stopping him from doing any more harm to another person.

Tim met Susie in French class that fall and they hit it off right away. Tim and Travis had always been the loner types, only interacting with one another. Travis didn't say anything to Tim but he wasn't happy about him talking to Susie all the time. Jean, on the other hand, was thrilled about the whole thing, thinking it might be just what Tim needed to stop his destructive behavior pattern. The two of them talked at school and were on the phone practically all the time afterward. Tim wasn't in a class with her father, Mr. Goodman, but he liked Tim from what he had seen when he came to the house to see his daughter.

After a few weeks Tim didn't even think about Travis and what he might be thinking. He was swept away by the first girl he had ever gotten to know beyond an acquaintance. Susie had a way to set him at ease and take his mind off of everything. She was beautiful, with long red hair and eyes that were much like two emeralds glistening in the light. He was quickly falling for this girl and it was a spiral he welcomed with open arms. He felt like he finally had a life beyond his brother and mother. There was a future out there and he damned well intended to jump in feet first.

The first big event for Tim and Susie was the Fall Dance at school. Tim was nervous after Susie accepted his invitation because he had never danced before in his life. He asked his mother if she could help teach him but she told him she hadn't danced since she was a teenager. "Please Mom, I don't have anybody else to teach me" Tim pleaded. Jean finally gave in and told Tim she would try to help him. She played some old records and they tried a few dance moves. Between the two of them stepping on each others' feet it was nothing short of a disaster. The last attempt that first night found them falling in a heap on the floor, legs entangled, laughing loudly. Travis had quietly been listening, finding the whole thing revolting.

Gradually things got better and Jean recalled a few dance moves. They kept practicing for a couple of weeks leading up to the dance. Tim gained confidence daily and thought at least he wouldn't look like a total idiot. Travis watched from the shadows of the stairwell, seething with spite and anger. This vile woman who didn't even deserve to live was acting like everything was just dandy with his brother. "I'll be damned before I let her help me with a single thing" he thought. The dream that fulfilled his needs for the past several weeks didn't come back that night.

Travis once again started to feel the hatred build within his being, mostly aimed at his mother. In his mind she had no right to infiltrate his or Tim's present day life. "She's nothing more than a birth mother, Hell, an egg donor" he thought. Hearing her and Tim laugh and carry on as they danced just intensified his feelings of contempt. "She was the one who should be feared, the one who should never be trusted" he thought.

The night of the dance finally came and Jean helped Tim with his tie before he left the house. He walked over to Susie's house and her father met him at the door. They shook hands and Tim said "It's nice to see you Mr. Goodman". Mr. Goodman told him Susie would be down in a few minutes and the two of them sat down in the den. Mr. Goodman said "So, what are your plans after high school Tim? Your grades are pretty good so I hope you plan on going to college". Tim told him he wanted to go away to college but he wasn't sure where. Tim felt like he was being rescued from what must be the typical talk with the girlfriend's father when Susie finally walked in.

Tim turned to see her and she looked beautiful in a long lavender gown. He had to take a deep breath before telling her how great she looked. "You look really nice, too" she told Tim. Susie's father offered to drive them but they told him they preferred to walk. As they walked to school Susie asked Tim about his brother. "He isn't like you at all Tim. I hope it doesn't bother you but he seems kind of creepy. When he is around I feel his presence in a way that really makes me nervous. Even when he isn't looking at me I can feel his stare penetrating right through me" she told Tim. Tim understood exactly what she felt as he had already dealt with it every day of his life.

Tim told her not to worry about Travis because he wouldn't do anything to her. To himself he thought he had better keep his eye on Travis more than he had been lately. He hadn't noticed anything unusual but he was so infatuated with Susie these days that he didn't think about anything else. Tim heard a rustling sound in the trees on the far side of the road as they walked. He didn't want to alarm Susie so he didn't say anything as they continued down the street with her talking about how pretty the stars were that night. He saw movement in the clearing between the trees and was certain it was Travis following along. He hurried Susie along, simply saying he wanted to hurry and get to the dance.

They got there without incident and went inside to join the others. It was one of the best nights of Tim's life, if not the single best, but he still had an uneasy feeling about Travis. He was sure his brother was the one following them to the school though he didn't fully understand why. He knew Travis never liked him to talk to anyone else but that was when they were kids. "Surely it doesn't matter anymore" he thought. He pushed the worries to the back of his mind so they could enjoy the night.

On the walk back to Susie's house Tim didn't see Travis following them but he could feel something ominous in the air. They made it back to her house and Susie reached over and kissed Tim. He was taken by complete surprise but in a good way. He kissed her back, relying on instinct alone since he had no idea what in the world he was doing. The porch light suddenly came on causing them to break off their kiss and they said goodnight before she went inside. Tim turned to head home but his knees were so weak he had to stop and regain some control. He wondered how things could get any better than they were at that very moment, still feeling the tenderness of their first kiss.

Chapter Eight

When Tim got home Travis surprised him, practically jumping from behind the bushes next to the house. "What the hell do you think you're doing getting mixed up with that girl? She's already got you wrapped around her little finger" he told Tim. He told Tim he needed to stop spending so much time with Susie so the two of them could start hanging out together more in there last couple of years of school. The real reason Travis didn't like the whole idea was because he could already see their mother getting close to Tim again. Seeing Tim falling all over a girl made him look less menacing in her eyes. Travis needed to figure out how to get things back to the way they were.

Tim was trying to measure how much faith he had in his brother's sincerity but knew he couldn't stop seeing Susie. Travis still gave Tim an uneasy feeling and he knew he had to keep an eye on him. He thought about telling their mother once again how Travis was the one behind everything that had happened because he could really use her help with his brother. For now he decided against it and decided to go along with Travis, at least on the surface. "It would be great to spend more time together" he lied to his brother. Travis could see right through Tim's lie so he knew he would have to force the issue himself.

Tim only saw Susie at school for a while and he and Travis did spend a lot more time together. Tim could tell his brother was watching his every move so he wasn't able to sneak over to see Susie at all. He just couldn't risk it, knowing what his brother was capable of. Instead he settled for passing notes to Susie at school, telling her his mother was really sick and he had to take care of her all the time. He poured out his feelings in his words, telling her how she made him feel more alive than he had ever felt before.

The dreams that had all but stopped started for Tim once again. With each passing day the dream became a little clearer in his head but he was becoming obsessed with figuring it out. He wondered if it was a dream about a childhood memory or just a nightmare his mind had created as a child. He finally brought it up to Travis and admitted it had been happening since they were young. Travis smiled when he heard this but it was a sly smile that was abundant with satisfaction. Tim saw this look on his brother's face and wondered why he would be enjoying this so much.

Tim asked Travis if he remembered anything from their childhood that his dream might be based on. He told him every detail of his dream, which wasn't a lot since he couldn't make out a face or voice except for the two of them. Travis said "I always told you Mom used to torture us but you never believed me." "That has to be a lie Travis. I would have remembered if she ever did something like that to us" Tim replied. They argued a while about it until Tim didn't want to hear another word. Travis felt pretty smug about things, figuring he had finally planted the seed in Tim's mind about the wicked side of their mother. He thought this would definitely help tilt the scales back in his favor.

Tim couldn't get what Travis said out of his mind. He refused to believe it but there was part of him that wondered if there was some truth to any of it, however small. He wondered if it was possible he had blocked out his early childhood where his mother was concerned. He certainly couldn't recall the slightest detail other than these distorted and fuzzy images. That night his dream took on more clarity, at least it seemed that way to Tim. He could hear enough in the voice that was yelling in the dream to make him think it was a woman. He woke the next morning unsure of what the dream's new dimension meant.

Tim needed to talk to someone he could trust, who could weigh in honestly to help him understand what was happening. He decided to tell Susie everything about his past, at least what he knew of it. Of course that meant everything except the horrible things Travis had done and dragged him into. He needed to understand if his mother really was this monster that Travis always made her out to be. Most of all, he needed someone to lean on and tell him everything would be okay. He was starting to think it was hopeless to think he could lead a normal life. After all, if his mother and his brother were monsters, could his evolution in their footsteps be far behind?

He was as careful as he could be to make sure Travis didn't find out he was going to Susie's house to talk to her. Travis was sleeping when he left, with a strange smile on his face, Tim thought. Apparently he was engrossed in some sort of dream that had him looking pretty satisfied. Their mother was out with a friend for the day so Tim didn't have to worry about her either. When she opened the door Susie could tell right away there was something wrong with him. He looked much like a lost puppy she had taken in a few years ago after finding him in the pouring rain.

They went inside and after making certain nobody else was home, Tim poured his heart out to her. He told her how he had these strange dreams dating back to his childhood, how there was nothing he could hear or see that made sense. Then he told her how his brother had always told him their mother was sadistic, torturing them as very young boys. Without telling her anything too specific he also told her how his brother had always seemed pretty unbalanced as well. Susie consoled him, saying "Tim, I'm here for you no matter what. I wish you never had to go through so much but I will do anything I can to help you sort it out and get through it". Tim fell in love with her or at least admitted it to himself that night.

As he left Susie's house Tim felt better just being able to say everything out loud to someone, especially to Susie. He had never felt so close to anyone, not even his twin brother. "Oh, they used to be close" he thought. Even as early as two or three years old they had been able to see and feel things through each other. If Tim got stung by a bee Travis could feel his pain even when he wasn't around. They were connected in a way that people who weren't twins could never understand. Tim wondered what happened to change all of that; they were still in tune sometimes but now they were more like enemies. Tim didn't know if that was because Travis was truly evil or if he hadn't realized that he, himself was much the same as his brother. He hated wondering if he was anything like his brother had made their mom think he was.

Tim went home and carefully went upstairs, slipping past his mother who was now dozing in front of the television. When he opened the bedroom door he knew instantly it wasn't quite so good. Travis sat there glaring at him, asking him where the hell he had been. "I just went for a long walk to clear my head" Tim lied to him. Travis looked at him with those eyes, the suspicion in them overwhelming. That was one of the problems between twins; it was difficult to hide anything. What Tim saw in his brother's eyes was a huge sense of distrust, accusatory in a not so subtle way.

"Tell me the truth Tim. I want to know everything you did, every place you went tonight" Travis said. Tim insisted there was nothing to worry about, that he had just gone for a walk because he was so stressed about the dream. Travis didn't believe him but Tim went on to tell him he was afraid that Travis was right, that their mother was indeed a monster. "It certainly explained a lot of the clouded memories I have" Tim told his brother. Travis let it go at that but the truth was he didn't believe his brother one bit. He knew damned well that he was doing something behind his back and he fully intended to find out what that was.
Chapter Nine

Tim fought sleep as long as he could that night for fear of where his dreams would take him. He could hear Travis muttering in his sleep and he didn't even want to know what he was dreaming about. With the moonlight coming in through the bedroom window Tim could see the expression on his brother's face. It was eerie enough to help keep Tim awake for a while, with a crooked and haunting smile. Eventually Tim's body and mind betrayed him as he succumbed to sleep. Almost immediately after falling asleep the dream started again, clearer than ever. It was exactly the same as before but he could hear the voice much better. He could hear a voice yelling "Hold your breath you rotten little brats"! At the instant he was pushed underwater in the dream he suddenly snapped awake and he thought he actually screamed though he wasn't sure if it was just part of the dream.

Tim was becoming more convinced that it was his mother's voice in his dreams but something still seemed off. He couldn't make out a face yet although he could see the person a little clearer. He stayed awake for hours before letting himself sleep again. He looked over and saw Travis still had that creepy little smile on his face. Just looking at him made Tim shudder at the thought of what he was thinking in his sleep. He slept through the rest of the night with no more dreams but felt as if he hadn't slept at all. As confusing as his dream had always been this recent change disturbed him so much more. He wondered what was to become of him if any of this was true regarding his mother's sanity, or lack thereof.

While Travis was still sleeping, Tim slipped off to Susie's house to get her feedback about the latest change to his dream. She opened the door and Tim saw she was still in her pajamas, barely awake apparently. He laughed when he realized it was only seven in the morning. Susie said "Don't laugh at my pajamas"! Tim was quick to tell her that wasn't the reason he laughed and explained that he had no idea what time it was. What he didn't tell her was that time no longer made sense to him as he slept so little these days. "You look so beautiful in pajamas with your hair tied back like that" Tim told her. She rolled her eyes and told him he was just being silly but inside she was beaming with delight.

Tim confided in her about his dream as much as he felt like he could. He knew if she heard everything on his mind she would never want to see him again. After all, who would want to be around someone who had a monster for a brother and mother? Not just that but someone who would probably follow down the same path? Of course he had no way of knowing that would be the case but he felt something ominous in his gut. If everything was true about his mother he had no chance of being normal. Travis was the only proof he needed to convince himself of this. He always knew what Tim was just realizing about their mother and Tim thought "look at what happened to him."

Susie calmed Tim down a lot but he was still a little on edge. They talked for an hour or so and once they stopped talking about the dream everything just fell into place. Tim looked at Susie and pulled her close to him, gazing into her eyes with more desire than he thought possible. She looked at him with such innocence, yet there was a longing in her eyes. He had never seen it before but he knew that's what it was because it was the same way he looked at her. He tilted her head back and kissed her, long and hard, and he was excited by her response. She grabbed his hand and walked him quietly into her bedroom, closing the door behind them

Tim awkwardly tugged at the buttons on her pajama top, barely able to get the first one undone. She smiled at him in a sexy way that he would never forget before undoing each button, one by one. She helped him undo his belt, pulling his jeans down around his ankles. They both reached for one another, exploring new ground with every passing minute. Everything started slowly, as neither of them had ever been involved with another. Gradually everything built into a wave of emotion, coupled with a never seen level of excitement. It culminated in a mutual release of everything tangible and intangible between the two of them. They fell together in a heap and slept in each others' arms.

Sleep was brief, though amazing, in Tim's mind. After they talked for a few minutes, making sure they were both okay with their decision to enhance their relationship Tim told her he had to get home soon. The truth was he felt guilty in a way, because Susie didn't know everything about his past, maybe even his destiny. He worried about leading her down a path he couldn't protect her from, one that could make him as out of control as his brother. At the same time he realized the alternative was to stay away from her and he knew that wasn't what he wanted.

Tim walked home, more content than he had ever been in his entire life. He was so relaxed he didn't even notice Travis following him as he walked. It wasn't until he got to their house that his brother suddenly sprang out and shoved him to the ground. "What the hell is wrong with you? I told you to stay away from her and now you're even screwing her" Travis yelled. Tim tried to push Travis off of him but he was too strong. When he got mad there was no way of fighting him off. "I love her and you're not going to tell me what to do" Tim yelled back. Travis was completely caught off guard by that and looked at Tim with total disbelief. While his brother stared at him incredulously he had an opening and pushed Travis off of him.

Travis suddenly pulled out a pistol from his pocket and pointed it at Tim telling him "Shut up and stand right there." Tim had no idea until now that his brother had a gun but he did as he was told and stood as still as he could. "You listen to me Tim and maybe everybody will come through this just fine" Travis said. He went on to demand that Tim not only stop seeing Susie but he told him to break it off with her for good. "I don't care what reason you give her but I swear to you if you see her one more time I will shoot her right between the eyes" Travis threatened. Tim had no doubt about his brother's sincerity for a change; he had killed before and there was no doubt he would do it again if Tim didn't go along with him. He told Travis he would break up with her somehow and even though he didn't really trust his brother, Travis put the gun away.

Tim called Susie, while Travis listened, and told her he was sorry but had made a horrible mistake. "We can't see each other anymore. It isn't you but I just need to be alone right now" Tim told her. All Susie could think was Tim had used her to get what he wanted and now that they had sex he had no use for her any longer. She was apparently some sort of conquest for Tim and the whole idea of it made her sick to her stomach. They had shared so many personal feelings that she honestly thought Tim loved her. She knew for sure that she had fallen in love with him but apparently that was for nothing.

Susie became depressed over the next few weeks and seeing Tim at school made it all the worse. As he had promised his brother Tim didn't even speak to Susie, didn't even cast a glance her way. It killed him inside but he knew he had no choice. In the meantime the dream continued to evolve into a somewhat clearer vision, almost tangible. He was now convinced his mother had been the one who held them under water as young boys in his dream. It made him feel something he had never thought he was capable of; he now hated his mother. He not only hated her but he resented her in every way, wishing she would be forced to pay for the pain she caused. He wondered if she was the one thing that had turned Travis into the monster he had become. He could certainly understand it; he felt like control was something he could no longer rely on in his life. He hated her for what she had put him and his brother through during their lifetime, especially when they were so young.

Chapter Ten

Tim only left the house to go to school, and didn't even want to do that these days. He would lay in bed thinking about Susie and how he had hurt her so badly. Of course he knew he really didn't have a choice because Travis would only make it worse if he hadn't ended it. He also wondered if she wasn't better off anyway because he didn't trust himself any longer. He had started having feelings he never thought possible, hatred and vengeance toward his mother. Nothing was the same anymore and he felt like things were spiraling out of control. He felt like he, himself, was spiraling out of control.

Travis, on the other hand was very content and quite proud of himself for executing his plan to get Tim back under his influence. He was ready to continue forward and take care of their mother once and for all. Before he could get to that point he had to make sure Susie stayed out of the picture with Tim. He knew his brother was weak and he would be tempted to sneak around again. He never had any use for women himself because guys always let themselves get manipulated by them the way he figured it. Not that any woman could ever actually manipulate him personally, but he didn't need anybody around to get in the way.

Tim did his part and stayed away from Susie over the next couple of weeks. Travis knew that much because he never let him out of his sight other than the entire day at school. He saw how they reacted as they passed in the hall though, and Tim didn't pay attention to her at all. She, on the other hand, was always looking toward Tim as if she wanted him to notice. When they got home from school one day Jean stopped Tim and asked "What's going on with you and Susie? I haven't seen her around in a while." Tim looked at his mother with sheer disgust and told her it was none of her damned business and stormed up to his room.

She asked Travis what was going on with his brother and he told her he wasn't sure what happened. He went on to say "All I know Mom is Susie is a really great girl and I thought Tim was changing for the better. Now he is back to being downright scary again. In fact I'm worried about what he might do to you." She told Travis to keep a closer eye on him again and she would do the same, all the while thinking she had made a mistake starting to trust him again. What she had no way of knowing was Tim really was starting to feel the hate growing inside him this time.

The next week or so was uneventful until Travis grabbed the mail one afternoon. Inside he found a letter addresses to Tim from Susie, which immediately got his heart racing and blood boiling. He had no idea what was in it yet when he said aloud for no one to hear. "If that bitch thinks she is going to get in my way she has another thing coming." He went out to the garage and opened the letter so Tim wouldn't see him. What she wrote both repulsed him and fueled the rage he always holds close to the surface.

She wrote that she was sorry for whatever she did and said she knew it was her fault for letting things move too quickly. Travis thought she must be the dumbest girl he had ever heard of. She went on and on begging for another chance to start over with his brother. Some of the words actually brought the taste of bile up into Travis's mouth. All this talk about love and needing Tim was more than he could stomach. He lit the ridiculous letter and let it burn right down to his fingers before letting the remaining ashes fall to the floor. He decided to take a walk and think about how he was going to deal with this unexpected crap.

He walked through the park, barely noticing anyone around him. He thought about writing her back, pretending to be Tim and tell her off. He decided that could make her confront his brother and that would ruin everything. No, he thought, this has to be handled once and for all. He thought about talking to her as if Tim sent him so he could convince her to drop the whole thing. He thought, "That would never work but I have a better idea." He smiled to himself, thinking he can handle anything thrown at him from here on out.

Susie was happily surprised to see a letter from Tim a few days later, yet fearful of what it might say. In the letter he asked her to meet him at Bush Bluff, which was near Fleet Park, after the football game that Friday night. She thought "What could be a more romantic place, with a gorgeous view of the bay from the top of the cliff." It was just several blocks from the bay in fact, and the two of them had gone there a couple of times before to get away from everyone else. She thought this was an excellent sign that Tim wanted to start over, she was sure of it.

Friday couldn't come soon enough for Susie and she was certain they were going to renew their relationship. She didn't dare tell anybody because she didn't want to jinx anything. She looked for Tim at the football game but didn't see him anywhere. She figured he was probably just going straight to the bluff so she headed there as the game was winding down. She made the long walk to the bluff and started up the path to the top of the cliff.

As she went higher the wind picked up, quite chilly as it came off the water. She got to the top but didn't see Tim anywhere so she sat down and watched the boats in the bay down below. She waited for nearly an hour before feeling dejected, realizing Tim must have changed his mind. She got up to leave and when she turned around she was startled by Travis standing there. Before she could say a word Travis shoved her over the side of the cliff, screaming as she hurtled to the rocky area below.

Travis took a quick look over the edge to admire his handy work before hurrying home. He listened all the way for the sound of sirens and felt somewhat disappointed when they failed to come. He quietly made his way inside the house and up to his room before anyone saw him. Tim was already sleeping when he got there so he slid into bed and anxiously looked forward to whatever dream may come his way tonight.

Travis had a dream but not one he would have expected. There wasn't nearly as much satisfaction in killing Susie as he had anticipated. He reasoned that was because it was too quick and she didn't even get a chance to fight back. "Maybe the thrill is better when you can see and feel the life run out of the prey" he thought. In his warped mind he knew he learned a valuable lesson that night. "Next time things would be up close and personal, planned out very carefully for maximum pleasure" he told himself.

Chapter Eleven

Susie's body wasn't found until the next morning when a couple of people jogging back from the beach came across her. Her father had tried to get police to look for her all night long but had wound up looking on his own. They told him about how she had to be missing at least 24 hours before they could investigate but he knew something was wrong with her. After all, she had been so depressed lately that he was really worried about her even before she didn't come home Friday night.

Jean heard about it on the news and immediately wondered if Tim had something to do with it. They had stopped seeing each other and he was acting pretty strange since. In fact she was more afraid of him than she had ever been before. She asked Travis what he thought and he told her he wouldn't put it past Tim these days. There wasn't much information about what happened yet, just that she was found at the base of Bush Bluff. Tim walked in just as the news anchor summed up the story and he was in disbelief.

Tim looked at Travis and saw that damned smile, the one he had seen too many times before. It wasn't just the smile but there was the familiar look in his eyes, as if he looked right through your skull and gazed into your brain. It was like you could feel, almost see, pure evil pouring out from his stare. At the same time he could see Travis was filled with satisfaction and was almost ecstatic to have done something to hurt him. Tim was swept away with emotion, thinking about poor Susie and how Travis must have killed her.

Jean told Travis to leave so she could talk to Tim and that smirk of a smile never left his lips as he walked out, looking at his brother with smug satisfaction. After he left Jean wanted to find out what Tim had to do with Susie's death. "On the news they said police are suspecting suicide but you tell me the truth right now, and don't think you can fool me with any of your lies" Jean demanded of him. Tim looked at her in a piercing way, saying "Not that I owe you one ounce of explanation for anything but I didn't have a damned thing to do with it. I had no idea until I walked in here a few minutes ago and that's all I have to say."

Jean didn't understand why but she thought she saw honesty in Tim's eyes, something that only a mother would distinguish. At the same time she didn't trust him one bit and knew she had to keep her guard up. "If nothing else, Tim was responsible because he broke up with that sweet little girl" she thought. She didn't know what to think but she thought Tim had been so happy lately and she didn't understand what had happened to change it. One thing she knew for sure; she could never tell anyone of her fears or suspicions about him. He was always the good boy when he was really little and she wondered what she did to change that.

In an all too familiar way the police came to the door that afternoon, like they did when Amy died. Just like before, it was Sgt. Ames who asked to speak to Tim. He seemed to have a much more personal stake in this than Jean thought he should. Tim talked to the detective and told him he hadn't left the house since he got home from school Friday afternoon. Jean confirmed this with him but Ames just knew there was something more to this than he was hearing. His lieutenant thought he was fixated on Tim for no reason and threatened to send him to traffic detail if he didn't drop it so he let it go but never stopped thinking about it.

Between what her father said and no other physical evidence in the case, Susie's death was determined to be suicide. Tim sometimes wondered if she did kill herself because of him but then that picture of his brother's gloating face would come to mind, convincing him otherwise. "He did it, damn it, and he needs to be stopped before anyone else gets hurt" Tim thought. Then he realized he had no way of stopping him, not without divine intervention. His brother was evil, sadistic in every way and he relished every minute. Just because he was apparently right about their mother didn't mean he made sense with everything else.

Tim confronted Travis and asked him point blank whether he had anything to do with Susie's death. "What if I did? There's nothing you can do about it anyway because everyone will think it's you, not me" he replied. Tim knew he was the one who would look guilty in the end so he kept his mouth shut. That didn't mean this was over, not by a long shot. Tim had been so concerned about Travis's involvement that the whole thing hadn't sunk in until now. It suddenly came to him the harsh reality was that he would never see Susie again.

Tim didn't know whether he hated his mother or brother more but he wished he could be alone. He blamed himself for Susie's death because he didn't stand up to Travis in the first place. Not only that, he should have known his brother would have planned something. Tim felt himself changing daily, becoming more angry and aggressive. In the back of his mind he didn't like how he was evolving but felt it was his destiny. Like Travis, the dark road he was on was paved by his mother years ago.

He had been having the same old dream every night again but also began having a new one. In it he was at the bluff running toward Susie, trying to stop Travis. The dream would repeat itself over and over ending the same way each and every time. Just as he would get close to them Travis would shove Susie off the cliff. The look in her eyes was one that haunted him day and night, a look of pain and genuine disappointment. Surely she was disappointed in Tim for breaking up with her and now for allowing her to die. They say time heals all wounds but Tim knew this one would only get deeper as time passed by.

Each day it got more difficult to go on in a normal way at all. Tim's mind wrestled with itself, making him doubt his own sanity. He wished he had never discovered the truth about how his mother had tortured him and Travis. Before that he was able to live his life without fearing himself. Sure he would have still lived in fear of his brother but seeing a monster near you was certainly better than seeing one in the mirror.

Jean saw the change in Tim and it worried her more than ever, always wondering what he might do next. She didn't even care what he had planned for her anymore. She was too old and tired to fight it and she knew she couldn't win because he was growing stronger all the time. However, she couldn't bear the thought of him going on to terrorize another innocent girl. The fact that he could take a life with his own hands without an ounce of remorse or emotion showed how much of a psychopath he had become.

Jean had never been much of one for liquor but she began to drink quite a bit lately. She drank to cover up the guilt she felt for not turning Tim over to the police. After a few shots of bourbon she might not become Mother Teresa but at least she could look at herself in the mirror. She wished she could change things but she knew the best she could manage was to hide behind the mask of intoxication.

Chapter Twelve

Travis's urges weren't satisfied by watching Susie fall to her death so he needed to find a release. He tried using his memory of Amy's drowning since it had kept him fulfilled for so long before. It helped a little but he was hungry for something more. He didn't even realize himself how his thirst was growing all the time. He thirsted for the thrill he got from seeing terror in someone's eyes. Of course the ultimate thrill was actually feeling the life slip from their body right through his fingers.

Tim sensed his brother was getting pretty antsy and he thought it may be the only thing that kept his own emotions in check. He was slowly coming to terms with his childhood memories and was more intent on keeping track of his brother than anything else. He knew he had to stay focused more than he had before if he stood a chance at stopping Travis. "Let's face it, you can't control him but maybe you can predict his next move" he rationalized.

Travis wasn't naive enough to think his mother and brother weren't watching his every move. He didn't care because they were both pawns to him and they didn't even realize it. He was ravenous for more excitement, the thrill of the hunt and the killing of the prey. Right now the need was so strong he didn't even care who it was. Killing his mother would be his grand finale or at least that was what he told himself. If he would admit it he knew he wouldn't be able to stop there but it certainly would be his single most gratifying accomplishment. For now he had to find a quick way to ease his need, his addiction.

That night Travis got out of bed after he was sure Tim was asleep and headed down to the local college campus. Tidewater Community College was not exactly a typical party school and people generally felt the area was safe. It was located in the heart of the city and during the day it was bustling with activity. At night, however, it seemed like the perfect place to Travis to get that much needed fix. His heart raced as he lurked in the shadows of side streets and alleys, looking for the one who would satisfy his craving for the night.

He saw several couples and groups walking but he was looking for someone alone. It took a while but he saw a girl turn down a side street about a block away. He got ahead of her by cutting through an alley leading up to the street she turned onto. He found a place to hide behind a van at the end of the dark alley and waited for her to come by, his heart pounding in his chest. He was ready to leap out when he was suddenly tackled from behind, knocking him to the sidewalk in front of the girl. She screamed and ran away before Travis even realized Tim was the person pinning him to the ground.

"What the Hell do you think you're doing? You ruined everything" Travis said. "I'm not going to let you hurt anyone again. I used to be afraid of you but now I know I'm just as strong as you" Tim replied. The truth is he was afraid of himself more than his brother anymore. He had seen firsthand how Travis became a cold blooded killer and he was sure he was capable of the same. He wanted to stop his brother from hurting someone in the hope that it would keep him from losing control himself.

Travis told him he might have saved that girl tonight but there would be others. "I promise you that Timmy boy because you can't be there all the time" he said defiantly. Tim knew his brother was probably right but he was going to do what he could. They walked home with neither of them saying a word the entire way. As they saw a police car speed in the opposite direction, Travis resented Tim even more for stopping him tonight. He knew he would have to handle his brother once and for all.

The next morning Travis was rummaging through his dresser drawers and in the closet when Tim asked "Are you looking for this?" He held up the gun his brother had pulled on him not so long ago. As Travis looked at him with contempt he added "I know how you think and I won't let you get away with a damned thing." He knew it would be a daunting task but he felt his own sanity depended on it. Travis now could see that his brother had indeed changed lately, becoming much more like him. That could be used to his advantage, but he needed to push him over the edge a little more. Not that he wanted to share all the fun with him but he reasoned there would still be enough for his own personal pleasure.

Over the next few days Tim began feeling a lot more comfortable with himself and all of his concern shifted to keeping track of his brother. He watched his every move and sleep amounted to dozing off for minutes at a time. He was able to sense mood changes in Travis without even seeing his expression. He was becoming more in tune with him like they had been growing up. It was almost like he had become an extension of Travis and could see the inner workings of his mind. Not that he could read his mind but he could tell when his mind went to that dark place.

Travis realized Tim was always right there whenever he thought he might be able to slip off on his own. It was driving him crazy and he needed to find a way to regain his freedom from Tim. He thought about killing him but that would leave him stuck with their mother on his own. He knew people probably thought he was evil but compared to her he figured he was just a little mischievous. He and Tim could handle her together if he could just get Tim off his back.

Jean was drinking even more than before, blurring her conscience to manage to get through another day. She knew she wasn't as strong as she used to be and was probably no match for Tim anymore. Whatever control she used to have over him was obviously long gone. Her only hope was that Travis could manage to keep him in line somehow. Even in her drunken state she could see there was a lot of friction between the two of them. The electricity filled the air and the temperature seemed to drop whenever they were near each other. The feeling sent chills down her spine so her remedy was to take another drink.

Late one night Tim looked over at his brother and noticed he was shaking in his sleep. He wondered what he was dreaming about but thought he might be better off not knowing. In his dream Travis saw his mother standing over him with an ax. He was strapped down to his bed and couldn't even move an inch. She was screaming at him though he couldn't understand her, and Tim was laughing in the background. "Do it Mom! If you don't I will" Tim said. Travis was jolted awake just as he saw the ax coming down. He was afraid for the first time since he was a little kid. "Dreams always seemed to find a way to become reality around here" he thought.

Travis knew he didn't stand a chance against the two of them, but he didn't have to worry right now. Their mother was still convinced Tim had become the one to fear. He thought it wasn't like when they were really young and she always liked Tim more. Even when they were as young as two or three she always treated Tim like her golden child. Travis was always made to feel like he was in the way by his mother. That was why he had begun hating her at such an early age.

Now he had to choose which one he would get rid of so he could finally fill the hunger he felt so strongly. His decision had to be made by weighing all of the options. "Tim is the stronger one but Mom has experience at seeing things in me that I don't understand myself" he thought. He had also noticed her drinking lately so that should dull her senses a bit. Even at that she would probably be too much for him to handle alone. He decided the best thing to do would be to take care of Tim first. With him not around her guard would be down and he would have a better chance of taking her by surprise.

Chapter Thirteen

Travis didn't have a plan but instead just watched for an opportunity to get to his brother. Tim always had the gun with him now so Travis had to be careful of that. He did know one thing when it came to planning to kill his brother and mother. He would have to strike quickly and miss out on the pleasure of watching them slowly die in his grasp. As much as he wished it could be that way he knew his reward would be a lifetime of satisfaction once they were gone.

Tim continued to keep a watchful eye on Travis and they played their little cat and mouse game day after day. It was a few weeks before he decided to try and push for a chance to take care of Tim. He waited until it seemed like Tim was asleep one night and left the house as quietly as he could. "What the Hell" he figured; if Tim follows it will be his last time and if he doesn't it will allow Travis to feed the hunger inside his gut another way.

He headed through the park on his way to the campus at TCC. He kept looking for a sign Tim was following him but it seemed to be his lucky night. There was no sign of his brother so he started looking for a place to find his next conquest. He hid along a dark street and waited for her to come by, whoever she might be. It truly was his lucky night as it was just a few minutes before a young woman of about seventeen or eighteen walked by. She was alone and heading down a dark street when she passed by. Travis looked behind him, making sure Tim wasn't anywhere around, before getting ready for her.

As she got closer to where he waited his pulse quickened and his breathing became hurried. She walked right by his hiding spot and he lunged forward, grabbing her from behind by the neck. His hands wrapped around her throat and squeezed as if he had to silence her for all of eternity. He didn't just like the feeling; he relished it in every way. He was reborn that night, with new vigor thanks to finding his next victim.

He watched her life fall through his fingers, splendidly with a look of fear and surprise in her cold dark eyes. Travis smiled with delight, knowing he had found what he had been looking for. This night simply belonged to him, to cherish and relive every day. If Tim would only walk by right this minute he figured that would be the ultimate end to a perfect day. He would end Tim's life the same way he had ended this girls' life, with a smile on his lips.

Travis headed home that night with a renewed feeling of satisfaction. He felt like he was invincible and not even Tim or his mother could stop him now. He managed to make it home and slip quietly into bed without waking Tim. He slept like he hadn't been able to in weeks, more content than he had been in a while. He expected to dream about the killing that night but his dream was about Tim. He had a vivid image of Tim shooting him in the chest while their mother looked on with a smile. He thought "There's another dream of me getting killed" and hoped it was just a regular silly dream.

When he woke from the dream he took a quick look to make sure Tim wasn't standing over him. He was still asleep and Travis dozed off again until morning. Tim was watching the news when he went downstairs and the murder of the college student was the main story. Her name was Lindsey Hamilton and she was a freshman at TCC. He didn't look at Tim but as he walked away he could feel his stare burning a hole in the back of his head. It wasn't like he expected to get away with it as far as his brother was concerned. The thing with his family was they had enough skeletons in their closet that he didn't have to worry about them telling anybody.

Tim followed him into the kitchen and said "I know you killed that girl just like you tried that night I stopped you". Travis didn't deny it, responding "So what if I did? It's just some stupid girl that you don't even know". Tim warned his brother that he had better stop once and for all. Travis looked at him smugly, thinking "It's your turn next my pain in the ass brother." Killing this girl gave him more confidence than he had felt in a long time and Travis didn't think his brother was any match for him now.

There was a knock on the door and Jean opened it to find Detective Ames and a uniformed officer at the door. "Good morning ma'am" the detective said with what she thought was sarcasm. "What can I do for you detective?" she asked. He told her he needed to see Tim and take him downtown for some questions. She had heard about the strangling of a young woman on campus last night so she already knew what this was about. She went with Tim down to the police station but since he was over sixteen she wasn't allowed to sit in when he was questioned.

Tim was there for several hours getting grilled about everything from his whereabouts to who he was with all night. He told them he was sleeping at the time, which was the truth but he knew Ames didn't believe him. He wanted to tell them it was his brother but he just couldn't. That would bring too much attention to him and his mother as well. "No", he thought, "he had to handle things with Travis his own way." Having no evidence against Tim even though he knew in his gut he was guilty, Ames had to let him go.

Travis thought about going out for some more fun, as he would call it, while Tim was with police but decided against it. He realized if he did it would take the scrutiny off of Tim since he would have been at the station when it took place. "No, the best thing to do is wait and take care of Tim next" he thought to himself. That day was coming very soon if Travis had his way. The two boys became both, the hunter and the prey, though neither of them realized it.

As Tim was planning how he would deal with Travis his brother was doing the same about him. It was something of a chess game, neither of them making a big move. They were content to let things play out, looking for the opportunity to take the other down with one quick move. This went on for a few months before Travis got too restless to wait any longer.

He got up like he had the night he killed that girl, sneaking out of the house and walking through the woods. He was sure his brother would follow him and after a while he wasn't disappointed. Before he could even hear a thing he could sense Tim nearby. The snap of a twig behind him was a dead giveaway but he didn't slow down. He headed closer to the river, staying well ahead of Tim.

Tim wondered where the Hell Travis was going now. He was certain he would be heading back down near the college again but that was nowhere near the river. He followed as closely as he felt he could get away with, staying behind the tree line near the river. He kept catching glimpses of his brother when he would hit a small clearing. They got to a large clearing and he waited for Travis to reach the next bunch of trees before following. He hurried across the clearing looking for Travis but couldn't find him anywhere.

Tim sensed trouble, hoping his brother hadn't managed to get far away. He pulled the gun from his pocket and kept going along the edge of the river. He heard something and stopped by a tree, reaching around with the gun in front of him. The gun flew from his hand when Travis smashed a tree limb on his arm. Tim lunged at Travis, knocking him to the ground and they rolled over and over. Travis got up trying to reach the gun and pulled away for just a second, running toward it. Tim grabbed the broken tree limb and swung it across Travis's head just as he turned to fire the gun.

He toppled into the river and Tim watched him float away. There was a lot of blood and Tim knew he had killed his brother. He felt a rush of relief and emptiness at the same time. He knew it had to be done because Travis was out of control. He had gotten a taste of blood, so to speak, and he liked it. He was immediately convinced he was never going to stop killing. Still, it was difficult to justify it in his mind. It ended in self defense, yes, but Tim left the house that night for the sole purpose of hunting his brother down. The intent was there, of that there was no doubt. The bright spot to him was that he felt remorse which he thought proved he wasn't turning into a killer like Travis had. He couldn't help but think things will be different from now on.

Chapter Fourteen

Tim thought about what he would say to his mother because he knew she would blame him. One thing was certain, he couldn't tell the truth. He made up a story about the two of them coming home through the woods and hearing someone or some animal chasing after them. "We got split up and the last I saw he was running by the edge of the river. When I looked back again he was gone" he told her.

Jean sat there with a dazed and empty stare, thankful she had already had several bourbon and sodas. Tim waited for her to say something, anything but she seemed catatonic. Finally she looked at him through bloodshot eyes and said "I can't believe you are my son. Travis may have been a holy terror when he was little but at least he was never a monster like you." Tim wanted to tell her the truth but knew it would be futile so he said nothing.

A familiar face came to the door in Detective Ames, asking the same questions as always. Tim told his story and they investigated every aspect of Travis's disappearance. With no evidence of any wrongdoing Ames reluctantly had to drop the whole thing once again. He just knew Tim was involved in this case, just like the ones in the past, but there was no proof.

The official investigation determined that Travis must have fallen into the river and got swept away. The only thing they found was some blood on a broken branch by the river. They deemed that consistent with him falling, perhaps hitting his head as he fell down the slope. The body was presumed to have been carried downstream in the river and never turned up. This wasn't unusual around here because the James River drained through the Chesapeake Bay right into the Atlantic Ocean just a couple of miles away. It was about six months before Travis was officially declared dead but Tim knew the minute it happened. His mother knew as well because she saw it in Tim's eyes when he told her the lamest story she ever heard.

Tim wrestled with his conscience about his role in his brother's death. He became depressed and couldn't sleep at night. Even though he had no choice at the time he couldn't justify it in his heart. He became very withdrawn after that and couldn't think about anything besides his brother. Jean pretty much drank all the time now and she and Tim didn't speak at all. Tim was haunted by dreams every night, seeing his brother floating away.

A few months later Tim began feeling haunted day and night. He experienced frequent blackout periods where he couldn't remember what he had been doing for sometimes hours at a time. The most troubling thing was he began seeing visions of his brother, reflections in the mirror. Convinced he was having a complete nervous breakdown he could only wonder what would happen next.

Days before his eighteenth birthday Jean walked past his room and heard him talking to himself. It sounded like he was carrying on a conversation so she swung the door open and saw Tim looking in the mirror as he spoke. She asked "Who are you talking to?" but she could see that he was alone. "I was just talking to myself" Tim replied. He knew better than to tell her he could see Travis looking back at him in the mirror. "At least she didn't notice I was wearing Travis's favorite shirt" he thought after she left. Between those two things she'd send him straight to the loony bin. She looked strangely at him and actually seemed concerned. Tim assured her he was fine and she went back downstairs, worried none the less.

Tim continued to have these visions and the guilt he felt about killing his brother was replaced by guilt for having survived. Even though they hadn't been close for a long time it was as if part of himself died with Travis. He decided to make an appointment with a psychiatrist to help deal with whatever was going on. He told his mother how he couldn't get over his brother's death by himself. She was leery about whether it would do any real good but at least he recognized he had a problem.

He got an appointment at a new office in town with Dr. Jacobs, who had just relocated to the area. His first session was one he expected, each of them feeling the other out, looking for common paths. It was like the old cat and mouse game he and Travis used to play. Thinking about that made him smile a little as he thought about how much he missed his brother. Not the brother he killed but the brother who once was more of an extension of himself.

Tim didn't offer much insight to his feelings this first time with a new doctor, but he liked him. Dr. Jacobs definitely made him feel more at ease than anyone he had talked to before. Maybe he was just more willing to open up now that Travis was gone. He wasn't sure; he only knew he wanted to understand what had happened so he could figure out how to deal with it emotionally. He couldn't help but wonder what Travis would say if he were here to see all of this.

Over the next few months Tim saw Dr. Jacobs twice a week and talked about everything that had happened. He told him about how he could see his brother in the mirror and it felt so good to get that off his chest. Things he had wanted to say to his mother, he was finally able to say to someone. Dr. Jacobs told Tim about an organization called Twinless Twins that helped surviving twins deal with the loss of their sibling. It was founded in the eighties by Dr. Raymond Brandt and had several hundred members in support groups all over the country.

Tim began going to the local chapter of Twinless Twins and was surprised by how many people experienced the same things he was. He learned that it was completely normal to feel guilty for being alive and was shocked to hear that many would see their deceased twin in the mirror. Everything was making him feel better until he heard more. Apparently it is quite common to do things your twin would have done if they were still alive. Tim was mortified by the thought that he might do anything that Travis would have done if he were still here.

At his next session with Dr. Jacobs Tim told him how helpful it was to realize he wasn't the only one going through this tremendous grief. He went on to tell the doctor about how his brother had become so pathological the past few years. Tim told him about how he had grown afraid of Travis. Tim asked Dr. Jacobs about the idea that the survivor often times does things his sibling liked to do to keep them alive in a way. The doctor agreed that it happens in a lot of instances. He asked Tim "Why does that whole notion seem to disturb you?" Tim told him he was afraid he would carry on his brother's sadistic ways. The doctor brushed that idea off as nothing to worry about. He assured Tim that just because he thought Travis was evil didn't mean he would wind up the same. Travis wondered if Dr. Jacobs would think that if he knew he had killed Travis himself.

When it came to the visions of his brother in the mirror he told Tim that was completely normal. He told Tim that with siblings, especially twins; it was quite common to see the surviving one manifest a vision of the deceased in order to continue their close relationship. "It is actually healthy to do just that" the doctor told Tim. "You were closer to him than you will probably ever be to another living being in your lifetime" he went on to say.

Tim felt relieved after seeing Dr. Jacobs for a while and didn't freak out so much when he thought about Travis. The one thing he never told the doctor about was how he had been having the blackouts. Those scared him more than he wanted to admit and he didn't know how to get past it. "Not to mention this thing about me doing what he liked to do before he died" Tim thought. He sometimes thought he could hear his brother's voice in the distance. Tim knew Travis always wanted to get him on board as he evolved into a killer, to assist him in a way. Could it be possible that Travis could sway him from the grave? The very idea of it made Tim very uneasy though he never told the doctor.

Chapter Fifteen

Jean thought Tim was acting very differently these days. She had boxed up all of Travis's old clothes after his funeral but she was sure she saw Tim wearing some of them. He told her he planned to start going to TCC in the fall so that was a bit of a surprise. She didn't fully understand it but somehow things had calmed down quite a bit. She wasn't as worried about what Tim was doing anymore but there was still an uneasy feeling in the back of her mind.

The blackouts continued with Tim and he still hadn't told anyone about them. Other than that he really felt like he was getting more in control of things. He still thought about Travis a lot but there was something unnerving about it. He wasn't sure, but the blackouts seemed to coincide with when he thought about his brother. He wondered what it all meant and whether he should talk to Dr. Jacobs about it. A voice in the back of his head said otherwise so he kept it to himself for now.

Tim had been having the same old dream about being held underwater but it was changing again. It was regressing to where he didn't see things very clearly anymore. Even the voice was becoming indistinguishable like it used to be. He really didn't know what to think anymore. Life had become more confusing without Travis being around.

Gradually Tim's recollection of what he had done to Travis waned as he deposited that whole episode in his repressed memory banks. He eventually only knew what he read of the official findings, that his brother had slipped and hit his head as he fell into the river. Most likely it was just too difficult for him to handle the truth. Everything in his life was becoming muddled and there was no stopping it. He didn't even know who he was any longer and just drifted from day to day, like he was heavily sedated.

Tim continued seeing Dr. Jacobs but he thought whatever progress they had made was being negated by his blackouts. They didn't happen as often as when they first started but they took on a new dimension. His last one found him coming out of it in the middle of the shipyards where the bums hung out. He wiped his brow and felt something wet across his forehead. One quick look at his hands showed they were covered in blood. He quickly ran over to the docks and rinsed his hands with water before soaking his shirt to wipe off any traces on his head and body. He wondered what could have happened, but couldn't risk sticking around to find out.

Tim ran all the way home, frantically trying to remember what happened. The last thing he could recall was walking through the park, but that was all the way on the other side of town. He guessed there were about two hours missing from then until now. He watched the news for anything that might trigger his memory but there was nothing that shed light on it at all. He threw the bloodied shirt in the grill and poured lighter fluid on it before watching it burn. He went to bed that night convinced he wouldn't sleep.

He was wide awake for hours before finally slipping off to sleep. The second before Tim snapped awake he experienced a flashing image of an old woman lying on the ground. She had blood running down her face and her eyes were closed. That was all he saw so if he had dreamed more that was the only part he could remember. His mind raced, trying to remember more details about her or what might have happened. He couldn't even make out her features very well, only that she was old and unkempt like a hundred other homeless people on the streets.

He fell back asleep and began to dream almost immediately, this time with a more detail. He could see Travis and the same old woman struggling before he shoved her to the ground. He grabbed her head and slammed it into the pavement three or four times before letting go with a look of satisfaction. Travis stood up and wiped his blood soaked hand across his face just as Tim was startled awake. He was bathed in sweat and breathing rapid shallow breaths, almost hyperventilating. "Oh my God, what have I done?" Tim asked himself out loud. He was sure the shirt Travis wore in his dream was the one he had been wearing himself, the one he had burned in the grill the past evening.

He went down the hall and got in the shower, hoping the cold water would numb his thoughts. He was wrestling with everything running through his mind wondering if all of it was just a dream. The blackout and seeing the old woman on the ground were real he rationalized. He hoped there was an innocent and logical reason for the blood on his hands but he had his doubts. He tried to convince himself that he simply came across the woman and checked to see if she was okay. "Yes, that could explain the blood" he thought wishfully. "But why this dream about Travis" he wondered. He knew there would be no easy explanation, no simple solution to whatever was happening to him these days.

Tim felt like he was losing control of himself, much like when his brother was still alive. He decided to talk to Dr. Jacobs about his blackouts and latest dream, at least everything except the possible killing. He shared with the doctor how he had frequent blackouts and how he would find himself coming out of it, not knowing where he had been or what he may have done. "There are dreams about Travis that seem to happen just before or after the blackout periods" he told the doctor. Dr. Jacobs wanted to run some tests to make sure there was nothing physically wrong.

The next day Tim's morning was filled with x-rays, followed by a CT scan, brain scan and MRI. While lying still during the MRI Tim felt his brother's presence, as if he were in the tube next to him. It was an eerie feeling that made Tim's skin crawl and his temperature rise. He fought the compelling urge to turn his head to look and he stayed as still as he could. When the technician told him they were done he quickly looked and, realizing how tiny the chamber was he almost laughed at himself for being so paranoid.

Once all of the tests were done Tim went home, drained by the sheer boredom of it all. He still had a feeling of paranoia about his brother trying to communicate with him. He didn't believe in ghosts so he was sure it was just his imagination "Unless you've gone nuts Tim" he thought to himself. He thought the doctor looked at him a lot differently than he ever had before during their last session. He thought about it and figured that at least the doctor sent him for tests so he must not be chalking it up to insanity "At least not yet" he thought.

Dr. Jacobs called him a few days later after he got the results back from the specialists. He told him "Everything came back normal so we aren't dealing with any physical abnormalities." Tim couldn't help but think the guys with the straitjacket would be there any time now. "I'm going to try putting you on a couple of pills that I think will help you deal with everything." The doctor wrote Tim a prescription for Abilify and Ativan, telling him these should help as long as he took them as prescribed. Tim went to get the prescriptions filled but he knew he would never take a single pill.

Chapter Sixteen

Jean Gordon finally came to terms with Travis's death and had seen a change in Tim that made her feel a little better as well. She still drank a little bourbon now and then but not like she had been. She was definitely more like herself than she had been in a long time. She was anxious for the school year to come for Tim, hoping that would be the beginning of a new way of life for him. She thought it could keep him out of trouble in the long run.

She asked Tim if he was excited to go to college in the fall. He told her he was but was really nervous about it at the same time. The truth was he didn't even know if he wanted to go anymore, not since Travis came back. Tim knew he wasn't back in flesh and blood but he thought there was no denying he was back to wreak havoc on Tim and whomever else he wanted to torture. Tim knew he hadn't rid himself of his brother after all which made the guilt he had felt simply disappear.

That night he once again experienced the dream of being thrust underwater as a young child. It was clear except for seeing and hearing his mother doing it and even though he was sure she did there was something strange about how the dream was changing again. This time he was alone in the tub and Travis wasn't even there. It just wasn't making sense anymore, not as far as Tim could see. He decided to confront his mother about the dream the next day. He didn't care what she might do because he wanted to gauge her response and decide what he should do about it.

Tim told his mother he wanted to talk to her about something important, something that had bothered him for a long time. She felt a wave of emotion run through her, fear and anxiety sweeping through her very being. "What do you want to talk about?" she asked somewhat hesitantly. Tim told her about the dream he had been seeing repeatedly for years, how he and Travis were held underwater over and over. She looked at him with a look of total shock, saying "Oh my God Tim, that wasn't me!" "What do you mean it wasn't you? Are you saying you didn't do it but you know who did?" Tim demanded. Jean told him she meant that if he had a dream it couldn't have been about her. She insisted she had no idea what he was talking about.

Tim saw the look on his mother's face when he confronted her and she seemed so surprised by the entire notion or was she just so surprised he knew about it? He couldn't say for sure but it made him question everything he had come to believe. "I wish Travis was here to help me figure this out" he thought to himself. He was surprised he had considered that because his brother was the last thing he needed right now. He wondered why he would think he needed Travis now, or ever for that matter. He knew Travis was gone and he needed to put him out of his mind, out of his life once and for all. He thought he had already done that but apparently he was wrong.

Jean was scared once again though she didn't understand what was going on with Tim. She could never tell him what really happened when he and Travis were little. It would just complicate things even more and that was the last thing he needed right now. Yet she wondered "Why does he think I did that to him?" She had no answer and she knew any answer would never be accepted by Tim. She was afraid of what he might do now that he had this wild idea about her. She went to the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of bourbon and without even pouring it into a glass she drank right from the bottle.

Tim's dream came back that night, as soon as he fell asleep. He could see himself alone again in the tub, he heard the voice though it wasn't clear at all. He wanted to understand it or at least he thought he wanted to. The dream came back to him several times that night but never changed, never gave him a clue as to what really happened way back when. He barely slept that night and when morning came he simply got out of bed and trudged off to the shower. After a shower and a shave he got dressed and left the house, even though it was only 6:00 AM.

Tim went down to the river where he had last seen Travis alive, searching for answers. He wasn't sure what he expected. It wasn't as if Travis would be there and tell him everything he wanted to know. He just sat there on the bank thinking about that night he watched Travis float away like a discarded piece of trash. It was all he could do not to break down right there. He stretched out on the grass and fell asleep, listening to the rhythmic sound of the water splashing against the rocks along the river's edge.

Tim woke up after what he thought was only a few minutes, but looking up he saw the sun straight above him. It was after noon and he guessed that was the first time in quite a while he had slept without being interrupted by dreams. He headed home with a clearer mind than he had felt in months. He thought coming back to the place Travis had died might be enlightening but it turned out it was no help in that regard. He just wanted to understand what happened when they were kids and what turned Travis into such a sadistic person.

Tim blacked out again before getting home that afternoon and it was early evening by the time he came out of it. He snapped into consciousness and looked around to see where he was. He didn't recognize the alley he was in but the smell of dead fish quickly told him he was near the docks again. "At least there's no dead body around this time" Tim thought. He started walking down the alley and just as he reached the first cross street he heard someone yell behind him "There he is! That's the guy!" He quickly looked over his shoulder and saw a cop and a couple of bums running toward him. He ran as fast as he could in no apparent direction, ducking down side streets and alleys until he was sure he lost them.

"What the hell did I do this time" he wondered. Finally reaching familiar ground he took a long way around town to get home. There was nothing to suggest he had done anything except for the guy who yelled. He thought maybe the guy mistook him for someone else but he knew that was probably wishful thinking. To be safe he got rid of the clothes he had been wearing that day, including Travis's favorite ball cap. A story came on the news about a homeless woman who had been strangled down by the docks. The newscaster said police were not sure if this murder was linked to the one a few weeks ago.

Tim had dozed off, dreaming about seeing his brother strangle a woman, when Detective Ames knocked on the door. "Just the man I'm looking for" he told Tim when he answered the door. You need to come downtown with me for some questions. Pretending not to know what this was about; Tim asked "What do you need to ask me about now?" Ames just told him to get in the car and be quiet until they get there.

He asked Tim the usual things, like every time before, where were you at this time and so on and so on. Tim didn't remember doing anything so he had little difficulty being convincing with his story. The next thing Ames told him made him worry, however. "We're going to put you in a lineup and a couple of witnesses will no doubt pick you out" Ames said with a smug smile. Tim went in the room with four other guys about his age and size, holding a card with the number three on it. As he took his turn stepping forward, turning each way and back, he tried his best to look happy and carefree.

When he exited the room he could tell by the disgusted look on Ames' face that they didn't pick him out. He thought it could be the haircut he gave himself earlier or maybe the old guys just had lousy eyesight. "Hell, they probably had been drunk at the time" Tim thought. He asked Ames for a ride home and he told Tim to find his own way.

Chapter Seventeen

Tim walked home from the police station and his mother confronted him as he walked in. "What the Hell did you do now?" she screamed at him. He told her he didn't do anything, and he honestly didn't have any recollection of doing anything so it wasn't really a lie. Jean didn't know what to believe when it came to Tim but she knew something was going on. She didn't like seeing the detective at the house again.

Tim didn't want to fight with his mother so he went for a walk down to the college campus. He had a feeling someone was watching him as he traveled through the park. He didn't see him at first, but out of the corner of his eye he saw Detective Ames behind a tree, watching him intently. Tim really hoped he wouldn't have another blackout any time soon if Ames was going to be watching him. "Who knows what happens during those episodes" he thought.

Tim went to TCC and talked to the admissions office to discuss the upcoming school year. When he came out he looked around and finally found Ames watching him from the shadows of the surrounding buildings. He walked past Ames' hiding spot and headed home, not even looking back to see if he was still being followed. He knew Ames would be following since he suspected Tim was guilty of so many killings. "Apparently he saw something in me a long time ago that I never realized was possible" Tim thought.

He wondered why he couldn't remember one detail of hurting anyone, except Travis of course. That was one thing Tim could never forget even though he told himself he was justified in doing it. He knew damned well Travis would have killed him if he had gotten to him a second later than he had. He still missed his brother but he was dealing with his part in the fact he was gone better than he used to. He didn't want to admit to himself that he had done anything to these other people. He still tried to convince himself that he couldn't have done it but he knew how it looked. There was no other explanation for any of it.

Tim slept very restlessly that night, dreams coming at him from every direction. It started with the same old scene in the bathtub but this time he was alone. He wondered later why Travis wasn't in it like he always had been before. He guessed because Travis was no longer around he must be wiping his brother's existence in his subconscious mind as well. The figure in the dream had changed also, not seeming quite so large and ominous. He once had been convinced it was his mother but he wasn't so sure any longer. Perhaps he came to that conclusion before because that's what Travis wanted him to think. He couldn't trust his brother, even now when he was nothing more than a memory.

No sooner had that dream ended when it was replaced by memories of his brother's last minutes on earth. He saw him scurrying after the gun, turning to shoot and realized for the first time there was a smile on Travis's face. It wasn't your typical smile though but was one filled with confidence and awe. "How ironic that he would smile seconds before dying" Tim reflected. As he watched the image of his brother floating away once again Tim had what he thought may be a revelation. Travis knew he was going to die and he welcomed it, yearned for it actually. Tim was now certain he was right about that but the burning question was why. What would make a psychopath want to die?

While continuing to search his mind for a reasonable explanation Tim's third dream of the night was a new one. Detective Ames was following him much like earlier in the day, but there was something different. He saw Ames being followed by a dark hooded figure at the same time he was sneaking along behind Tim. The scene unfolded in his mind like it was pouring out from a movie screen. Tim was the only patron of this cinematic production, watching it come alive in front of him. He was taken off guard when he saw the person following the detective close in on him, knife in hand. Only this person and Ames remained in the scene as Tim realized he was now just an observer of the dream. The hood had now fallen off and Tim recognized the face right away, complete with the same smug smile as he plunged the knife into Ames' back. It was Travis, haunting his dreams, trying to infiltrate his psyche like he had done for years in life.

As Tim sprang awake he knew the whole notion of letting go of Travis wasn't going to be as easy as he had hoped. The power Travis always used on Tim was not waning simply because he was dead. It felt like Travis saw Tim as his own puppet, someone he could use to continue his legacy from the grave. Tim knew it had to be his own mind playing tricks on him but it really didn't matter. Either way he was nothing more than a pawn in his brother's games, doing his bidding along the way. He reasoned that the blackouts were a result of Travis taking control of his mind, stealing Tim's body for his own use. As long as Tim believed Travis was controlling his life he knew he couldn't trust himself.

These dreams continued almost daily, leaving Tim feeling defeated and helpless. He went for a walk on that hot summer day, wondering aimlessly around town. He barely noticed Ames following him from about a half block back. It was nothing new anymore and Tim said aloud "I really don't give a rat's ass anymore." It was something Travis used to say to him all the time and Tim didn't even recall that until he heard the words come out of his mouth. He guessed this was one more little way Travis was invading his life. He felt like he was in a whirlpool miles out to sea, spiraling down into the depths of the cool dark water.

He decided to ditch Ames and ducked down an alley, slipping through a narrow opening between the fence and the warehouse that ran the length of the block. Detective Ames ran after him and when he reached that same opening he couldn't even get his big arms through the tight space. He cursed at himself for letting Tim get sight of him and ran around the block to head down the next street in the direction Tim had gone. He searched everywhere but couldn't find Tim anywhere. Ames had a bad feeling about where this night would lead so he called a few cops who were off duty and asked them to help patrol the area around the docks in a very unofficial way.

Three cops he worked with came down to help look for Tim and they split up to cover more area. Ames went down to the southernmost docks and scouted around for any sign of Tim. He looked in some of the old abandoned buildings and even checked out a few boats for any sign of him. Nothing turned up at all and then there was a scream not too far away. Ames ran in the direction he thought the scream came from and found himself in the middle of a mugging. He pulled his gun and just as he raised it up to confront the mugger he felt the searing pain as a knife pierced his shoulder blade.

He turned to see the knife coming down yet again, and saw the face of the attacker. With a look of stark realization Ames said "It's you!" and he fell to the ground in a pool of blood. The old woman who was being mugged screamed until other cops came running up to find their friend bleeding to death. She couldn't really give them much information other than telling them her attacker was a young black man. She didn't see the other guy who came up behind them and stabbed the detective. She told them the black guy ran away as soon as he saw what was happening.

Tim suddenly realized he was running along the river, the same river his brother had traveled on his way to Hell. He had no idea where he had been since he gave Ames the slip. It was dark but the last thing he remembered was walking hours before nightfall. He could hear distant sirens behind him and felt his heart pumping wildly in his chest. He ran as fast as he could and got home without anyone seeing him. He went to his room and drifted off to sleep, unsure of what he may have done or what he might do next.

Chapter Eighteen

Tim slept sparingly that night, trying to stay awake to avoid any more dreams. He wasn't sure he wanted to know what happened the prior evening, fearful of what he might have done. He watched the morning news and the lead story was about a mugging that led to the killing of Detective Ames. The reporter said Ames was in the area and tried to intervene when he was stabbed by a second person. It was assumed that it was an accomplice of the mugger. The lone witness was an elderly woman who had been so scared she couldn't give any description of her attacker. She never saw the actual stabbing and when the mugger ran off and she turned to see the detective lying on the ground bleeding. The only lead she could give them was that he knew the guy because she heard him say "It's you."

Tim immediately thought about the dream he had before about seeing Travis stab Ames. He wondered if he had subconsciously been planning something like this to get Ames out of the way. After all, other than Jean he was the only one who suspected Tim, constantly harassing him about everything that happened around town. Something just didn't make sense to Tim as he tried to remember everything he could about the night. He was the one being followed by Ames, not the other way around. Besides that, he rationalized, he had checked and his knife was still in the dresser drawer where it always was. It was his prized possession since he was ten years old. He and Travis got matching knives from their grandfather the last Christmas they saw him before he died.

Their mother had not been happy with her father about that gift but he convinced her every boy needed a good fishing knife. He suddenly wondered "Wait a second, what about Travis's knife?" He rummaged through the boxes in the attic where his mother had put all of Travis's belongings and couldn't find the knife anywhere. He remembered watching her put it in one of the boxes after Travis died, but he searched every single box and it was not there. "Did I take his knife with me when I left yesterday?" he asked himself. He didn't remember even going into the attic so he was sure he hadn't, but then again he didn't trust himself these days.

Jean Gordon watched the news at noon that day and knew instantly Tim had to be behind Ames' killing. She wondered what was wrong with her when she realized part of her was relieved Ames was dead. She reasoned that any mother would protect their child no matter what they did wrong, so knowing Ames was adamant about catching Tim explained the feeling. The other side of the coin was who could stop him now that Travis and Ames were gone? She imagined she would be Tim's next target since she was the only living person who knew what he was capable of. Not only did she know it but she felt it in her very being.

Jean stopped drinking out of necessity so she could stay focused on what Tim was up to. In her first few days of sobriety she noticed things with Tim she hadn't seen before. He was wearing some of Travis's old clothes and even had taken on his mannerisms in an uncanny way. She thought it seemed like Tim was trying to become Travis in a way. A few times she even heard him carrying on a conversation with himself, his voice sounding eerily like Travis's at times. Jean didn't understand what exactly was going on with Tim but it seemed to her he was on the edge of a nervous breakdown.

Jean's change in drinking habits didn't go unnoticed by Tim. He was very aware of her every move and he could tell she was getting pretty nosy when it came to him. Tim didn't know what to believe about his mother anymore concerning the dream he had for years. Travis always said she tortured them when they were little but he wasn't sure. He had once reached a point where he was convinced Travis was right and he could see it in his dream. Now the dream kept deteriorating more each time, leaving him confused and frustrated. He had no idea that in the years to come he would lose all memory of that dream as life gets more complicated.

Tim had read about a psychic in Virginia Beach that was supposed to be able to help people recover memories and some say she could tell your future. He didn't put much stock in the whole thing but thought the part about memories was a little more believable. He decided he didn't have anything to lose so he made an appointment. He didn't want his mother to know because she would probably just get in the way.

Tim entered "Psychic Mary's" office at the strip mall by a Wal-Mart in Virginia Beach and almost walked out as soon as he got there. Mary must have noticed because she quickly approached him, welcoming him. She was a woman of about 50, Tim guessed, with long gray hair and piercing eyes to match. Tim didn't think he had ever seen eyes that color and the look really made her seem somewhat mysterious. When she talked she had a very rhythmic tone, one that he imagined could make one fall sleep. She told him to relax and come into a private room so they could talk.

He didn't know what he expected but whatever she was doing wasn't something he saw coming. She simply sat there and looked into his eyes after asking him to remain still and say nothing. It seemed like hours to Tim before she finally broke her gaze, shaking and pulling back suddenly. "I can't help you with anything and you should just leave now" she said with a trembling voice. Tim tried to ask why but she just cut him off and told him to get out immediately. Tim left and started walking home, wondering what she saw that seemed to scare her so much.

He thought "This is bullshit" and turned around, going back to her shop. "I want to know why you stopped all of a sudden. I need help to figure out what's going on with me and you obviously saw something" he pleaded. She reluctantly agreed to help him but only because she was afraid of what would happen if she didn't. She told him she saw darkness surrounding him, things from the past and things from the future. He pushed for more detail but she was hesitant to say anything. Sensing her reluctance he pushed her harder for answers, specifically asking about an incident in a bathtub when he was very young. She broke down and cried, pleading with Tim to let it go but he wouldn't give up.

She told him she couldn't see exactly what happened in the tub but could only see him and another boy that seemed about the same age. He also had a darkness surrounding him, even darker she said. "I sense he is a brother or a very close relative" she said. Tim simply nodded, listening closely to every word when she added "He is the Devil, but you and he share the same power." She told him that together they were very strong and powerful but without him Tim was nothing more than any other horrible man. "Alone, you are no different than thousands of other men in the Atlantic area" she boasted. She seemed completely surprised when he responded in a pleading voice "I sure as Hell hope you are right." He pushed but she couldn't provide him any additional information so he left curious, but not satisfied.

After he walked out Mary let out a long deep breath, thanking God for letting her get through this ordeal. "That boy is no good at all and he is becoming more powerful than his brother ever was" she admitted to herself. She could sense who the other boy was all along but didn't want Tim to know. She could feel his brother's own power running through him but something wasn't right. She couldn't put her finger on it but she thought "there was something wrong with the whole picture where these two monsters were concerned."

Chapter Nineteen

Tim left the psychic's place without tangible answers, but possibly with more questions than he had before. She seemed to be afraid of him but made it clear it would be worse with Travis around. It left Tim wondering how much had to do with his brother and how much had to do with him alone. He knew Travis was always the one in control of things and now it still felt like he was, even though he couldn't be. Tim had to find a way to shake off his brother's influence, find a way to gain his own independence.

Tim thought about how this strange woman knew nothing about him, yet she could see how much Travis was the one who created the problems. He thought there just might be some credibility to the psychic stuff. He wanted to believe her when she said he was no different than so many others but he knew better. He felt so consumed by hatred toward his mother and even his brother for such a long time. He had killed his own brother and now he looked at all these other victims and knew he was fast becoming the same killer his brother was. He didn't truly believe that until Ames had been killed and he realized how happy that made him.

Tim needed a break from all of the crap he was going through and went to the beach for the day. He just wanted to swim and lay out on the beach alone to reflect for a while, thinking about where he came from and where he was going. His life had become a living and breathing nightmare and he wanted it to stop. He wanted to understand so he could try to change his future, change his life. He wished he could find his way to his own past to alter the lives of everyone he had touched. He honestly didn't think he had ever been a positive influence on anyone in his lifetime.

He was lying on a towel, soaking up the sun, when he heard a familiar voice. "What the Hell do you think you're doing here?" Mr. Goodman questioned loudly. Tim looked up and realized immediately that Susie's father was drunk. They hadn't spoken since shortly after Susie died. Tim knew in his heart it had been Travis that killed her but her father was always convinced it was suicide, just like the police. "It's because of you breaking up with her that she killed herself!" he yelled at Tim. "I lost my little girl, my little Susie because of you, you bastard" he added. Tim tried to talk to him but he wasn't having it, not even listening to a word he said. Tim wanted to say "It was my brother Mr. Goodman, I'm really sorry I didn't stop him" but he just couldn't. Susie's dad suddenly took a swing at Tim and he ducked out of the way with it just missing him. Mr. Goodman fell face first into the sand and just lay there crying while Tim left before things went any further.

It was about mid afternoon when Tim left the beach but it was almost dark when he realized he was walking down by the docks. He suddenly woke up from this latest blackout, wondering immediately what had happened. Like always he looked at his hands and his clothes for any sign of blood but all his clothes were clean. He turned and walked back in the direction he had come from, with a very uneasy feeling in his gut. He didn't have to walk far before he found what he was looking for. Next to a dumpster he saw her; an old woman sprawled out with a jacket lying across her face. He reached down and pulled the jacket away to get a closer look and almost fell backward when she snarled "What the Hell do you want?" Tim turned and ran further down the street, almost laughing out loud at himself for running from an old woman sleeping by a dumpster.

Just as Tim rounded the next corner he was caught off guard by his own mother standing squarely in front of him. She glared at him in a way that reminded Tim of Travis when he was angry, the eyes not just looking at you but looking inside you. Her stare alone made him shiver even though it was still over ninety degrees outside. She admonished him, saying "I know what you're doing and I know what you are. You're no different than he was all those years. I should have known you were damaged goods the minute you were born." A light flickered in Tim's head thinking how she had known about Travis all those years after all. "I always wanted to tell you how Travis was Mom but I didn't think you would believe me" Tim replied. She stared at him again, this time with what looked like total confusion in her eyes.

"What the Hell are you talking about? Your brother was nothing like you and your father. You are the one who is the result of that drunken bastard, not Travis. How dare you say such things about your brother! Do you think I've been oblivious all my life? I know you killed him and I know it's you behind all these other killings. You've been doing it all your life since you were a little boy." she insisted. Tim realized immediately he had made a mistake by saying anything about his brother but he was so sure that was who she was talking about. He never really knew his father because he left shortly after he and Travis were born. Jean added "The older you get the more you look just like that rotten prick. I let him get away with his crap too long but I swear on my life I will stop you if you do one more thing!"

Tim knew better than to try to talk any sense into his mother about Travis so he didn't even bother. Part of him wished she would stop him because he didn't want to be like Travis. What he didn't understand was the reference to his father because she never talked about him their entire lives. She always said he left right after they were born and Tim always felt guilty about that, like it was his fault his father had left them. "I never even knew my father so how can you say I'm just like him?" Tim asked her. He was surprised when she told him his father hadn't left when they were born, adding that he was around until the boys were six years old. Tim was sure his mother's memory was failing her now, or perhaps she was just plain crazy. She didn't go into detail and he didn't even want to argue the point with her so they just walked home in silence.

When they got home Jean told Tim to wait in the living room because she wanted to show him something. She returned a few minutes later with an old photo album that Tim didn't think he had ever seen before. She seemed very solemn and somewhat sympathetic when she opened the book for him to see. There in front of him were pictures of him and his brother but he couldn't believe it because they had to be two or three years old, sitting on their father's lap. There were others with their father and them, like a chronicle of their lives together until the pictures no longer included his father. He wondered how this could be true and asked Jean what happened all those years ago. "You always told us that he left when we were born and now you're showing me pictures of him while I was growing up. What the Hell happened Mom?" Tim demanded.

Sobbing, she said "Everything is my fault Tim. I never wanted you to learn the truth about your father. I just thought it was best that way but maybe you need to hear this now." She went on to tell him how his father had been physically and emotionally abusive to him and his brother. "I should have stopped him but I was helpless against him. He tortured you both but was twice as hard on Travis. When you asked about that dream you had in the bathtub I was shocked you could remember it. You were so young when that happened and I thought you had no memory of it whatsoever. Tim, I swear I tried to stop him and Lord knows maybe I did keep him from actually drowning you boys" she added.

Tim didn't know what to think about all of this, as a wave of emotion swept through him. He felt relief, anger and shock coursing through his veins as he was trying to make sense out of everything. He still couldn't remember a single bit of it but this finally explained the dream that had haunted him for so long. This revelation answered some questions but created so many more that Tim felt like his head was swelling with information overload.

Tim wanted to know what had happened to his father and what made him leave. Jean told him he was there until the week before the boys' first year of school started. She told him that he left one night without saying a word and she didn't know what made him go. She was just glad he did, for her sake as well as the two boys. "I thought it was a new beginning for the three of us Tim, and it was great for a while. I was so grateful you and Travis blocked him from your minds because he caused so much pain for all of us." Tim didn't ask why she said it was "great for a while" because he knew what she was alluding to. It was everything she blamed him for instead of Travis all those years and now he was living up to her expectations, or down to them.

Chapter Twenty

Sleep was difficult that night for Tim, tossing and turning while trying to process all of what he learned earlier. He didn't understand how he could have suppressed all memories of his father for so many years. The other thing that bothered him was the very idea that he would have simply left one night. If he was so sadistic that he would torture his own kids then what would make him stop? Tim knew his mother was hiding something from him about that and he guessed she was responsible somehow. He felt the most likely scenario was she had killed him back then because the person she described would never stop voluntarily.

Jean hoped that telling Tim the truth about his father being abusive would make him think about his own actions. She knew the odds were against it so she was prepared to stop him from hurting again even if this didn't make a difference. He was her son so she had always wanted to protect him if only to make up for those times when she should have before. She decided the right thing to do would be to have him committed or arrested. She hoped that he could then get the help he truly needed to face down his demons once and for all. The one thing that she had reservations about was that this would leave her completely alone in life.

Tim struggled these days to keep his thoughts clear in his mind. Everything kept coming back to his father and wanting to know everything that happened with him. Nothing seemed to spark his memory and he knew he couldn't count on his mother for any more information. The good thing, he reasoned, was he hadn't experienced another blackout since the day his mother told him. He found himself getting absorbed in the past and it somehow kept him from letting his emotions get the better of him. He wanted to put everything behind him and have a normal life, a new start with no worries about what might happen next.

Jean continued keeping a close eye on Tim and he seemed like he was more subdued than normal. That lasted a couple of weeks before she noticed some of the same familiar signs that things were reverting back. He didn't look like he had slept in days and he gave off an eerie vibe, something dark and sinister. The darkness in his eyes, emptiness in his gaze, grew quickly and created a shadow that hung over him in a daunting way. "Oh my God, he is back to his old self" Jean thought to herself.

Jean decided to confront Tim that night and make him understand she wouldn't tolerate him attacking another person. She went to his room and knocked but there was no answer. She opened the door quietly, expecting to find him sleeping, but he was not in his room. She had no idea how he had slipped out without her noticing but he must have. Just as she was walking out of the room something caught her eye. She went over to his dresser and there was one of the pictures she had shown Tim with him and his brother on their father's lap. She wondered why in the world Tim would have wanted this picture at all. She spun around to go and nearly ran right into Tim, who was standing there glaring at her.

"What the Hell are you doing nosing around in my room?" Tim yelled. Jean was sure he was going to take a swing at her when she saw how angry he was. He was livid and nervous at the same time, the adrenaline racing through his body. Jean tried to calm him down by saying she was sorry and that she had just wanted to talk to him. With every ounce of restraint Tim could muster he told her to get out and leave him alone. She knew she had better do just what he said or who knew what might happen.

It had been weeks since Jean had taken a drink but she felt this one was deserved after that ordeal. One drink led to two which eventually led to her being passed out on the sofa. The next morning she woke up suddenly as if she had been scared or heard a loud noise. It was quiet and she noticed the sun was just coming up so it couldn't have been later than six in the morning. She had a pounding headache and was already regretting taking that first drink last night. "It wasn't the first one but probably was the last four or five drinks that did it" she chuckled to herself.

She went to the kitchen and made a pot of coffee to try to wake herself up. She was drinking her first cup when Tim came stumbling in the back door. His shirt was stained with blood and he didn't even look at her as he hurried past her to get upstairs. She yelled "Tim, what the Hell happened to you?" but he didn't even take notice. She ran after him and when she caught up to him he was laying on the bed, awake but not aware of anything. She shook him several times before he snapped out of it and seemed very startled. He looked at her with eyes that had no emotion whatsoever, like he was catatonic.

It took Tim several minutes before he was fully aware of where he was. He didn't have any recollection of where he had been or what he had been doing. He only saw his mother looking at him like he was some sort of strange creature, one she had never seen before. He could see her lips moving as her arms flailed but he heard nothing discernible at all. Her words finally began coming through in waves like a distant sound heard in the woods when you were alone. He could hear it but couldn't quite find the source until he suddenly became fully alert, like someone flipped the switch to the on position.

"What's wrong with you?" Jean asked. Tim said nothing was wrong and asked her why she was in his room. Before she could answer he glanced down and saw the blood on his shirt. He realized he must have had one of his episodes and knew his mother must be wondering what was going on. She asked him where he had been and where the blood came from and he tried to make up a story. He told her he had fallen down the bank of the river and scratched himself on some tree branches. He could tell she wasn't buying it but the truth was he had no idea what happened.

A couple of hours later a report came on the news that a homeless woman was found beaten to death. She seemed to be in her seventies and there were no witnesses to the crime. Jean looked at Tim immediately and he could feel her stare penetrating through his skull. "This is the last time you're going to hurt anybody" Jean scolded. She told Tim he had a choice between jail and the psychiatric treatment center. Much to her surprise he seemed to accept this as if it was the best thing, with what seemed like relief in his eyes. He told her he agreed to go into the treatment center and she told him to get packed tonight so they could go the next morning.

Jean sighed with relief that it was finally coming to an end. She knew the guilt she felt from letting it go this far would eat at her for the rest of her life. Tim stayed in his room all day long and she just let him be, figuring he needed the time to reflect on everything. She loved him but she knew she had to do what was best for him and everyone else. She knew this but actually going through with it would be a tough thing to handle. Jean called and made the arrangements so it would be all set for them in the morning. She thought about it all day before giving in to a few shots of bourbon before bed. Once the liquor took the edge off she fell asleep around midnight.

Jean was startled awake by a loud noise and she jumped out of bed to take a look. She slowly opened the door and looked down the hall towards Tim's room. The door was closed and the lights were off so she turned back toward the stairs. She heard a noise downstairs just as she approached the top of the stairway. Peering over the edge of the banister she didn't see anyone and started down the stairs. She was pushed suddenly from behind, sending her hurtling down the stairs. She crashed into the landing in a heap, unable to move. She looked toward the top of the stairway and saw him standing there, gloating. With tears streaming down her face from both the horrible pain and the sweet release she knew was about to come, she said "Oh Tim, I'm so sorry" with her last breath.

Chapter Twenty One

Tim woke up in a sweat and went straight to the bathroom to take a cool shower. He had his bags packed so he was ready to go to The Pines Residential Treatment Center this morning. He was nervous about the whole idea but his mother was not going to back down, that is one thing he knew for sure. He had resolved himself to this as unavoidable and only hoped it wouldn't be for too long. After a shower and a shave he got dressed and grabbed his bags. He started down the stairs and glanced down to see his mother lying there, motionless. He ran down the steps as fast as he could and when he reached her he knew before checking for a pulse that she was dead. Her eyes were still open but there was no life in them as they stared past him, blindly into space.

Tim called for an ambulance even though he knew it would be of no use. The police followed right behind the paramedics and questioned Tim about what happened. He told them he woke up and found her there and he didn't know how she fell. Tim knew that wasn't the truth but he wasn't about to tell them he must have pushed his mother to her death. He accepted the fact that he had likely killed her but felt no remorse. Even if she hadn't been the one who tortured him and Travis she certainly could have stopped it. That made her guilty in his mind and this was some sort of vindication.

The coroner was called to the house and pronounced Jean Gordon dead after a quick examination. "No shit" Tim thought to himself. It seemed almost comical that the obvious had to be validated by someone in a coat and tie. An autopsy didn't reveal any sign of a struggle and her injuries were consistent with a fall down the stairs. Tests showed she had a blood alcohol level of .25% so that was all the evidence needed to rule her death an accident. The coroner estimated her time of death to be 2:00 AM so she was there about five hours before Tim got up.

The day of the funeral came and went very quietly as Tim was there alone. Uncle Bob was the only relative they had ever kept in touch with over the years and he didn't even come. Tim thought that was a testament to his mother's character, or lack thereof. What he didn't know was that his uncle had never recovered from Amy's death and he was only a shell of a man ever since. He drank from the time he woke up until the time he passed out each and every day just to forget about it. When he got the phone call about his sister he didn't comprehend a single syllable.

Even though Tim's mother wasn't there to force him into treatment he decided he had better check himself in anyhow. He didn't want to arouse suspicion since his mother had everything arranged ahead of time. He had merely delayed entry for a week so he could get through the funeral. In a way he actually wanted to understand what was wrong with him and why he did the things he did. He thought if he could have understood Travis he would have been able to stop his own psychopathic tendencies. The staff at the Pines was nice on the surface but Tim wasn't sure it was genuine. He spoke to Dr. Davis right after his admission so he could understand why Tim felt he needed treatment. Tim told him about Travis and how he had watched him grow into a full blown psychopath, although he didn't include anything about the people he had killed. He described feeling like he was following the same path that his brother did. He told him about the blackouts but did not include the part about the killings. Tim signed a form giving the clinic access to his files with Dr. Jacobs and Dr. Shelton.

Dr. Davis looked over all of the notes and findings of the other doctors and didn't see the connection with the young man now under his care. It was obvious Tim Gordon had been in and out of trouble when he was a little boy but since then there was nothing to suggest that had continued. The key seemed to be how he dealt with his brother's death because that is when he started suffering from what appeared to be a severe psychological meltdown. Everything Dr. Jacobs described was consistent with a twin losing his sibling. He was glad to see Tim had spent some time with the Twinless Twins organization. They were renowned for having helped so many survivors deal with the loss of their twin.

He decided Tim had to be hiding things that were pertinent to the situation but getting him to open up was going to be a challenge. He knew this wasn't going to be easy but he hoped Tim would stay in their care long enough to get the help he needed. Dr. Davis started placing Tim in some work groups with other people his age, ones that had lost loved in recent years. Tim didn't speak openly privately or in the groups, making the task even more difficult.

Tim wanted to tell Dr. Davis everything, how his father had tortured him as an infant and how he and his brother had each killed several people, but he couldn't take the chance. He wanted to gain control and understand what made him the way he was but the very thought of being locked up for years, maybe forever? That could never happen and he would do everything necessary to make certain. Tim knew he had to keep his secrets of murder but decided it couldn't hurt to tell about his father.

Dr. Davis thought it was an excellent sign when Tim asked to speak with him privately the next day. Tim explained how he had no memories of his father and how his mother had always told him and his brother he had left shortly after their birth. It was just weeks ago that his mother confessed his father had tortured him and Travis up until he left when they were six years old. Dr. Davis asked "How did it make you feel when you discovered the truth about your father"? Tim responded "I didn't know what to think. I always had this dream of being held underwater and I even used to think it was my mother doing it to me. Then she told me it was a man I don't even remember."

Tim and the doctor talked for some time and he had to admit he felt better for the time being. There was no huge eye opening discovery but he felt like he was making progress. He still felt like there was something he was missing, something he couldn't remember. He had hoped that when he found out it was his father in his dreams that everything else would make sense. Now that was being replaced by something he couldn't even visualize or understand. There was something lurking in the back of his mind, watching and waiting for the right opportunity to be unveiled.

Dr. Davis was sure he had gotten Tim to face things he hadn't before where his father was concerned. The two of them talked every day for hours and Tim poured his heart out about losing so many people in his life. It was understandable that so many accidental deaths would take a toll on a young man, but Dr. Davis was sure the key was in the loss of his brother. "Tell me what happened the day your brother disappeared" he asked Tim. He became very evasive and said "There's really nothing to say. We were running and he slipped and fell down by the river." Dr. Davis could see that Tim wasn't telling him everything that happened so he kept pushing him. "Why were the two of you running and where were you when he fell?" the doctor prodded. Tim yelled "Just shut up! I don't know why we were running!" He refused to talk about it any further and the doctor knew he had to give him some slack or risk him shutting down permanently.

The doctor gave Tim a strong sedative to calm him down, hoping to keep him from getting too worked up. After Tim calmed down a while Dr. Davis asked him if he would consent to hypnotherapy and Tim somewhat reluctantly agreed. The Pines didn't have their own hypnotherapist so Dr. Davis called Frank Valentino. He was arguably the best licensed hypnotherapist in the county and he had assisted them with other patients over the past several years. Dr. Davis introduced him to Tim and they chatted for a few minutes before starting so Tim would know what to expect.

Tim listened while Frank calmly spoke to him in a soft melodic voice that made Tim feel relaxed and disconnected. He drifted off without even realizing it though he was convinced he could never be hypnotized. Like most people he always thought you had to believe in it for it to actually work, but hypnotherapy is not a faith technique. It is much more scientific than people ever imagined. In this state Frank was able to cross over the boundaries Tim always put in place when it came to discussing what happened to his brother. After learning all he felt he could Frank tried to put some suggestions in Tim's mind that would help him deal with the truth. He brought Tim out of hypnosis and told him it was over and that he did just fine.

Dr. Davis met with Frank to go over what he had learned and was shocked by his findings. Tim told him the whole story about how he had killed his brother in self defense. Frank told him he put suggestions in place that might help Tim going forward trying to cope with his role in the death of Travis. What they didn't know was that Tim still withheld the fact that he had set out to kill Travis before being put into the position where he had no choice. Even under hypnosis there were things he wouldn't breathe to a soul. The session was videotaped and Dr. Davis showed it to Tim so he could see what they had learned. He thought he saw relief in Tim's eyes when he faced what had happened. The truth is Tim was relieved for a much different reason. He had been afraid he would have told them about other killings and how he had planned this all along. He was very content that he had the discipline to maintain his composure. He only wished he could have found out what it was that he was unable to remember, the thing haunting his mind.

Chapter Twenty Two

Tim spent another couple of days at The Pines and Dr. Davis felt they had found the root of Tim's problem. He encouraged him to continue going to meetings at the Twinless Twins to help him cope with things. Of course his situation was a bit more complex than the others in the organization but he still felt it would help. Tim did go to a few meetings but pushed the whole idea aside just like he did with the medication Dr. Davis prescribed.

Fall came quickly once Tim got home and he welcomed a new chapter in his life as he started college. He hoped this would become his new focus and take all his energy so he could finally lead a normal life. Tim decided to pursue a degree in criminal justice which he knew was ironic considering his own life story. The class sizes at Tidewater Community College were smaller than the larger schools so Tim was much more comfortable with that. He enjoyed getting involved in something structured like school and it made him forget, if only temporarily, about the past few years.

The first several weeks of school went by quickly and Tim felt reborn, full of life and energy again. He barely thought about anything but his studies and though he didn't need it, thanks to his mother's life insurance, he got a part time job on weekends. TCC tried to help students find jobs on campus or in the community and he was lucky enough to get a job with campus security. It was mostly just sitting at a desk watching monitors for any unusual activity but he liked the solitude.

One Saturday night late in September while Tim was lying in bed he nodded off until he was awakened by a strangely familiar feeling. He was sweating profusely and literally jumped up in bed shaking. "What the Hell is happening?" he asked himself. The damned dreams were starting again, right when he thought life was heading in the right direction. The all too familiar dream about the bathtub was back, with him and Travis being held underwater. As it continued he realized Travis was gone and he was the only one underwater. He wondered what it meant and why it would suddenly start again.

Right on the heels of that dream was another where he saw someone standing in front of him. He couldn't see who it was or make out any features at all, not even enough to determine whether it was a man or woman. Tim could see himself trying to reach out to the person but they were apparently terrified of him. This one confused him most of all because he couldn't understand any part of it. He thought he was trying to help the person but he wondered if he had actually hurt them. "Of course you hurt them dumb ass" he told himself.

He hoped the dreams weren't going to stick around like the ones in the past. When he had them before he felt so drained, consumed by the unknown in the corners of his mind. He wanted to understand because he was sure that was the key that would unlock his past and free him from his own imagination. Tim had tried every avenue he could think of to trace his steps back to a time he was in control. He thought about Travis for the first time in a while, wondering what light he could have shed on things. He always thought Travis kept him from learning the truth about everything but he never knew why.

Tim was still thinking about his brother as he drifted off to sleep once again, that place he sometimes loathed. He wasn't afraid of anything now that Travis was gone, nothing except the unknown that is. That was the one thing that ate away at him because it was the only thing he had no control over and these blurred images he dreamed of sometimes take over his mind. He slipped into another dream, but this time it was just memories of him and Travis playing in the yard. They must have been four or five at the time and they were laughing and running around shooting each other with water pistols. In his sleep Tim was reliving happier times until he was betrayed by his own mind.

The dream took a strange turn of events and now he envisioned their father chasing them, screaming obscenities. Tim managed to slip from his grip but Travis wasn't so lucky. "I'll teach you for spraying me with water you little brat!" Tim heard him yell. He wanted to go back and help Travis but he was afraid. He finally sneaked a peak from around the corner of the garage and saw Travis was strapped naked to the big maple tree in the back yard with their father's belt. Their father had a big wooden paddle in his hands and Tim watched him swing it at least fifteen or twenty times, smacking Travis across the rear. When he stopped and undid the belt Travis fell to the ground, blood running down his legs. Their father said "Tell your brother the last ten swats were for him" and he walked inside.

Tim ran over to Travis and was surprised when he saw that he wasn't even crying. "Are you all right Travis?" he asked. "No thanks to you!" Travis yelled back. Tim was going to ask where the blood came from but once he saw the paddle up close he knew. Nails were driven through the back of the board, sticking out about an eighth of an inch, blood of old and new staining them. "We're supposed to look out for each other but I always wind up taking the crap for both of us" Travis scolded. The dream then faded away and Tim didn't even wake up, sleeping soundly the rest of the night.

In the morning Tim could recall the dream about Travis and their father vividly, seeing every detail in his mind. He wondered why he could now remember something that happened so long ago when he had wiped out all memory of his father for his entire life. He thought this dream gave more credence to his mother's story of abuse by their father although he still felt there was more to the story than she let him believe. He also wondered if there was a connection to the dream he had of this sort of faceless terror.

Tim made it through the rest of the week without any incidents, as he came to know them, and Friday evening brought a weekend of work. He showed up at TCC for his shift at 10:30 PM, a half hour early as usual. He looked at work as the most important thing for his future because doing it made him feel useful in a good way. He hadn't had too much in his life that he could refer to as good. He thought about that again and realized he had experienced one time in his entire life that was good. In fact his time with Susie was wonderful and he suddenly realized how much he missed her.

The night at work began with nothing unusual happening as usual on a small college campus. Tim watched the monitors for a couple of hours before he snapped to consciousness after apparently falling asleep. He realized it was time to take a walk down by the dorms so he grabbed his nightstick and flashlight and headed out into the night, a light rain making it so damned muggy. He walked around the area where the men's dorms were first and didn't see anything more than a few guys stumbling back to their dorm. He shrugged that off and proceeded down the next street to take a look around the women's dorms.

Tim walked along, taking his time just glancing around as he made his way past one dorm room after another. Like every other night nothing seemed to be out of place until he rounded a corner and tripped over something, falling to the ground. He got up and looked back and saw a young woman lying on the sidewalk, motionless. He went to her and saw right away that she had been beaten badly with bruises all over her face. Tim checked and found she had no pulse but her eyes were still open and he saw fear in them, something he had seen in his dreams too many times before.

Tim called the campus chief of security and reported what he had found, feeling both a rush of adrenaline and a feeling of uncertainty. He wondered if he had missed something from the security camera monitors when he had apparently dozed off, making this his fault in a way. Norfolk police came to the scene to take over and investigate the death of this girl who they would later learn was a TCC student named Jessica Faustino. The police spent the night asking questions and collecting evidence. They took the tapes from the cameras in the area near the murder and checked them for any information that would tell them what had happened.

When they checked the tapes it turned out that there was an hour missing, between 11:00 PM and midnight. After checking it seemed that the video recorder had been off during that time, though there was no explanation as to why. When Tim was asked he didn't have an answer, having no idea how that could have happened. The truth was he was sure what had happened, and he knew he could never say it out loud. Obviously he had stopped the tape while he went out and killed this poor girl. That was the only thing he thought could have happened, the only thing that made sense. "What the Hell did you do now?" he asked himself.

Between the police investigation and his own reflection there were no new answers to what had happened. Tim could only imagine what he must have done but he was happy that nobody else realized what he thought must have happened. His mind was full of so many thoughts that he couldn't even keep things straight, wondering what was going on. His chief told him they had found a malfunction in the security system and said not to blame himself for what happened. Tim told him he was glad to hear that but on the inside he just knew the truth.

Chapter Twenty Three

Tim didn't sleep at all the next couple of days and ended up skipping classes Monday morning. He tried to remember anything that had happened Friday night but everything he remembered happened after waking up in the guard shack watching monitors. He didn't even remember going to work that night so there were at least three hours he couldn't account for. Tim knew he must have caused the malfunction to the security system to cover up what happened. He thought he needed to find a way to stop these episodes and actually considered trying the medication doctors had prescribed.

Tim finally fell asleep Monday night and had another dream about his father and Travis. In the dream Travis was still about five years old and was throwing baseballs so Tim could practice hitting. Tim finally caught hold of one and it flew way over his brother's head, smashing the garage window. As soon as they heard the crash the yelling started inside the house from their father, "What the Hell did you pain in the asses do now"? Tim yelled "Come on Travis, let's get out of here!" but Travis just picked up the bat and stood there. Tim hid behind the truck next to the far side of the garage, yelling for Travis one more time.

Their father came stumbling out the back door and after regaining his balance somewhat, yelled "Look what you did you little shit!" Tim thought sure Travis would run now but he didn't. He watched from his hiding spot as their father approached Travis. When he got within a couple of feet of him Travis swung the bat with all the strength he could muster, hitting their father in the side. He grimaced in pain but managed to reach out and grab the bat from his brother and threw it toward the truck, just missing both the truck and Tim. Their father grabbed Travis in his large burly hands and flung him over his shoulder, carrying him to the cellar, Travis kicking and punching him as they went.

Tim had no idea what was happening in the cellar but when his father came out he locked the door behind him. It was clear that Travis was a prisoner in every respect. After their father went back inside Tim followed to make sure he wasn't coming back outside. Once he was sure it was safe he went to the window and looked inside trying to find Travis. He looked through every window there was and saw no sign of him. They never were allowed in the cellar so he had no idea what was down there. Tim could make out a door to a room in the middle of the cellar and figured that must be where he had Travis.

Tim went to his mother to get help from her in an attempt to rescue his brother. She was asleep in her bedroom and when Tim tried to wake her she barely managed to open her eyes before muttering "Leave me alone." Just as he started to plead with her to help Travis their father came in the room, with a wild look in his eyes. Jean suddenly rose up and seemed to realize the importance of the situation, telling the boys' father to stop and leave Tim alone. He told her "Don't worry about it. That little pansy is such a momma's boy he isn't even worth one second of my time." Tim couldn't hold back and said "Mom, he locked Travis in the basement!"

Tim was sure his father was going to hit him or take him to the basement too, but instead he watched as his mother caught his wrath. He backhanded her across the face three times, telling her "I told you a hundred times to keep the little, sniveling coward quiet or else." As his father left Tim looked at his mother with disbelief, wondering what his father meant. She told him to get his ass to his room and never say anything to anyone about what happened. "What about Travis?" Tim pleaded. "He's the strong one and he can handle himself" his mother replied. He saw the tears streaming down his mother's face and Tim knew the only thing he could do was exactly what she told him.

Tim woke from the dream in tears, reliving it in a way, and immediately felt sick to his stomach. He ran to the bathroom and, barely making it to the toilet puked until there was nothing left in his stomach. The dry heaves followed and he leaned on the toilet for what seemed like hours, his mind spinning out of control with these new revelations, if that's what they were. He wondered how he could be sure, thinking these could simply be dreams about events that never really happened. The problem with that theory was that he knew in his heart these were actual memories played out in his semi-conscious mind as he slept.

Tim was enlightened, yet confused, not fully understanding what had just played out on the big screen in his mind. On one hand he felt a new appreciation for his brother for all of the crap he took from their father but on the other hand he lost all respect for his mother for not doing something to stop him. He also lost self respect for letting Travis take the blame for something he did. Knowing his brother suffered God knows what for his own mishap made him feel horrible, wondering if his own apparent cowardliness was partially responsible for the way Travis turned out.

Tim wished his brother was here so he could ask him what happened those times in the past, and why he never told him about any of it. There were so many unanswered questions, so many stones left unturned. Tim wanted to understand all of it, hoping it would set him free from this free-fall of emotion and confusion. He wondered if Travis held him responsible for whatever their father had done to him in that cellar. He suddenly realized he had never stepped foot in that room and there was nobody around to stop him now.

Tim went outside and entered the bulkhead door leading to the cellar. He turned on the flashlight he had brought along and found the door in the middle of the cellar. It had a padlock on the latch so he got a set of bolt cutters and snipped through the lock with no effort at all. He peered inside and saw a large light hanging in the center of the room. Tim couldn't find a switch but he found the chain that hung from the light itself. He turned it on and took a look around, taking in every inch of the room for the first time.

The first thing Tim noticed was a table with straps that must have been used to tie someone down but they were too far apart to be for a child like Travis had been back then. Tim didn't understand what the straps could have been used for unless Travis had used this room in his later years. A second discovery he made was some drawings on a wall in the back of the room that seemed to be from a child, including hash marks like someone was counting. Taking a closer look Tim saw forty three hash marks so something totaled forty three he thought. It dawned on him suddenly, Travis must have marked each day he was held prisoner all those years ago. To think Travis spent six weeks locked up in the cellar because of him made Tim feel so bad, but he knew he couldn't have survived that punishment.

Looking further Tim found handcuffs, three paddles with nails sticking out at varying lengths and he found pictures, pictures of his brother and his mother. They were both bloodied and bruised about the head and the captions written underneath were the same. They both had the words "You made me do this so you owe me an apology to set yourself free." Tim didn't really understand the whole thing behind the quotations but he didn't like what he saw. He wondered what else he had buried in his past, things that could lead to his rebirth or destroy his self worth, depending on the substance.

Chapter Twenty Four

Tim had seemed to unlock the vault in his memory about his father as he started to recall things that he had completely forgotten. His father had tortured them when they were kids, of that he had no doubt. Tim wondered if some of this explained how Travis had been such a sociopath as a child. The one thing Tim could now appreciate about his brother was that he had always stood up to their father and taken the heat for both of them. Thinking back to how Travis had later made Tim take the blame for his wrongdoings could have been some sort of payback for all the times he had done the same with their father.

The one thing Tim couldn't figure out was when his father left and why. He remembered him being there and even remembered seeing his father beat his mother relentlessly at times. He remembered everything up to the last time he could picture his father when he and his brother were about six years old. That was the one time that Tim didn't get away and his father beat the crap out of him with a garden hose because he spilled a glass of juice. He could see and hear his mother yelling at his father, telling him to leave once and for all and he saw that look on his father's face. It was the same look he had seen from Travis so many times, how he could look at you in an accusatory way even though you had done nothing wrong. He could make you feel guilty without even saying a word and his father must have passed that on to Travis.

There was clarity in Tim's mind for the first time in years, an understanding of the past that made some sense. He was emotionally exhausted thinking about how much he and Travis dealt with as such young kids. He could finally close a chapter in his life that had been driving him crazy, literally, he thought. Tim felt bad for ever thinking his mother could have been the one who tortured him and especially Travis. He hoped everything was going to be better now that he understood the cause of it all. His father was the teacher and Travis was his protégé, whether either of them realized it or not. The simple fact that Travis was the one who took the brunt of their father's rage was probably enough to send him over the edge.

School began flying by for Tim now, and though he still kept to himself mostly, he actually made a couple of friends. He met a couple of guys in class and the exciting thing to Tim was this was a perfectly normal thing someone in college would do. He was finally going to lead a regular life and it both excited him and scared him to death. Being a loner like he was all his life, other than with Susie, he never set himself up to fail in front of others. In the past he only had to answer to himself and his family to a lesser degree. Now he had two friends in Harry and Dave, and he didn't want to disappoint them. It was almost like he was in grade school, worried about what the other kids in school thought about him. He supposed that was very much the truth, after practically living in solitude without the typical family life for so many years.

Tim invited Harry and Dave over one weekend for a cookout and was actually surprised when they both accepted. The three of them had a good time, enjoying some burgers Tim burned on the grill. "I never said I was a master of the grill" Tim joked. Tim suddenly had a strange feeling, like he was betraying someone by having friends over. It was his house now so he didn't understand why he was feeling that way. Then it dawned on him, what he felt was fear that they would sense the darkness that enveloped that house, exposing him for what he was. As the day wore on he got more comfortable and decided his fears were unwarranted.

The remainder of the school year went pretty well for Tim and he didn't have one of his episodes during that time. The dreams didn't stop but they weren't happening as often and it really came down to the same one where he couldn't make out the face. With the end of the school year approaching Tim wondered what he was going to do to keep busy all summer. Dave and Harry didn't live in the area and both of them would be heading home to spend the summer with their families. As fate would have it, his boss asked if he would like to work fulltime for the summer. Even though there weren't nearly as many students attending classes they still needed security for the summer.

Tim was working day shift for the summer since the dorms were empty until the fall. He didn't mind it too much but thought it would be nice to be able to head to the river or the beach for a swim on the hot days. His first full week went smoothly and he noticed there were only a few hundred students, making campus a bit like a ghost town. There was no night shift security so Tim had to lock up the office every night. That first Friday night came quickly and after checking to make sure all of the security cameras were on Tim headed for home.

It was three in the morning when something startled Tim awake and he sprang up in bed, looking around the room. He didn't see anything and listened closely for any strange noises. He got up and took a quick look around the house but didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Tim went back to sleep, feeling a little shaken but not sure why. It took a long time to fall asleep again and Tim was restless, tossing and turning until the dream enveloped his mind.

Tim reached out in his dream toward a figure in the shadows, the face blurred by the night. He couldn't understand but the person was trying to tell him something and the words came out too distant to comprehend. Each time Tim tried to step closer the figure retreated hastily, avoiding physical contact. As the morning light slowly filtered into his dream Tim nervously looked at the face of the person standing before him. He reached out quickly and spun the figure around to expose their face so he could somehow cut through the tension that was palpable in the air. As the figure flung around there was no discernible face, but rather something that resembled a grotesque Halloween mask. The face was misshapen and seemed to be melting into an elongated distorted mess. In a flash the figure snarled like a cornered animal and let out a shriek that Tim was sure would break his eardrum. Tim shook in fear and the figure suddenly vanished into thin air, leaving behind a stench Tim had experienced before. He knew it was the smell of death that lingered in the air.

Tim woke up in a fog, his body soaked with sweat as he tried to bring focus to his clouded vision. Strong sunlight poured in through the windows but he still felt like he was lost in the shadows of his dream. Finally his head cleared and he got out of bed and literally stumbled to the bathroom, as if he had been drinking. Tim looked in the mirror and didn't recognize his own reflection at first as it seemed older beyond his years. The eyes were sunken with darkness surrounding them and there was a hardened look that years of worry would cause. He showered and looked again, thinking he would see things normally but he thought he still looked old and tired.

Tim got dressed and went downstairs and as he entered the kitchen he stopped, shocked by the sight of blood on the counter and in the sink. He wasn't hurt and nobody else was here so he wondered where the blood came from. His mind raced as he tried to think back to the night before. He remembered waking up in the middle of the night and the dream but couldn't actually recall going to bed. He wondered if he had done something again that he had pushed out of his memory. He quickly worked to clean up the mess, knowing how it would look if someone else saw it.

Tim finally finished cleaning everything and sat down to watch the news. After the sports and the stupid weather guy the newscaster reported the finding of a dead girl's body at the TCC campus. She had been beaten with an unknown object and the police were asking for any help identifying a young man seen running from the area around 2:30 in the morning. Tim nearly choked on his coffee and felt the blood drain from his face. "I couldn't have done anything this time" he said hopefully, but he admitted to himself that he knew. The blood told the story as far as he could tell, along with the timing of someone running from the area. Tim felt the need to busy himself so he went to the garage to get the lawnmower. He nearly fainted when he saw a baseball bat on the workbench covered in blood.

Chapter Twenty Five

Tim built a fire in the barbecue pit and threw the bat into it, watching to make sure it burned all the way down. He went back inside and sat in the living room, staring blankly at a TV that wasn't even on. He sat there thinking about what had just happened, what was going to happen. He hated his life and hated what he had become after seeing his brother do the horrendous things he did. He missed Susie so much and wished she was there to help him, to make him a better person. He was so much happier when they were together and she made him feel normal. "Damn Travis to Hell" he screamed at the blank TV screen.

Tim called his boss and told him he was quitting his job, making up a stupid story about having to go help his uncle out for the summer. His boss told him he understood but added that his job would be there in the fall if he wanted it. "You do a great job Tim and I don't want to see you quit before you graduate" he told him. Tim thanked him and said he would keep the offer for the fall open but he had no intention of actually accepting it. He couldn't keep working there to make the whole thing easier for him to kill.

Tim fell into a pattern of going to bed late and getting up late, trying to sleep every waking hour he could. He wanted things to make sense, for there to be a reason for everything, but he didn't believe it existed anymore. He felt like he was who he was and nothing could change it. That was the thing he hated most in his life, feeling like he had no control over its direction. He knew he was a product of his environment, thinking that meant he was a total asshole who would kill anyone for the sheer thrill of it all. That was how he saw things anyhow, so it was a tough road in front of him if he had any chance to succeed in life.

Tim went down to the river one day to get away from everything. He walked upstream a mile or so until he knew he wouldn't be bothered by anyone else. He sat on the bank thinking about what had just happened with the latest killing. In his heart Tim felt he didn't want to be a killer so he wondered what it was that made him do it. With Travis it was obvious that he got off on taking someone's life, making him feel more powerful each time. Tim felt an internal conflict taking place, part of him enjoying the thrill of the kill and the other part wishing he would stop. He tried to think of a way to win the battle inside his mind and even contemplated killing himself to make it all stop. He quickly dismissed that notion and thought he just needed to strengthen his self control.

Finished with his time of thought and reflection Tim headed for home, but took a long way around town. Before he knew it he found himself in the middle of campus, near the security building. He had been daydreaming and didn't even realize where he had been heading. Being the weekend there wasn't anybody in the office so Tim just kept on walking toward his house. As he rounded the next corner he heard sirens a few blocks away and then saw police cars heading back toward campus. He figured there was probably a robbery or something and finished the walk home.

Tim spent the evening looking over old photo albums and digging through all of his mother's old boxes of crap. He was looking for a clue that explained his childhood more and maybe he could even find whatever it was that led him down the path he was on. Seeing pictures of him and Travis together sent waves of sadness through Tim's fragile mind. Their father's pictures, on the other hand made him angry and resentful. Tim knew his father was the one who started this house of cards, this hand me down world of darkness.

Tim wasn't thinking that was the single thing that had wreaked so much havoc on his life but he knew it was a big part of it. Part of him wished he had never found out his father hadn't really left when he was born. At least there was no reason to worry about his impact when he thought he had never been around. Tim didn't make any major discoveries as he delved into old boxes, but he did find his mother's diary. He thought that could prove to be interesting and maybe it could even shed some light on everything. He was too tired to read it that night so he put it aside and went to bed.

Tim slept soundly for a change and Lord knows he needed the rest. He slept all night and didn't even wake up until almost noon the next day. It was the longest he had slept in one shot in years and he was actually disoriented when he finally did wake up. Tim was ravenous and fixed himself a four egg omelet with ham and cheese, a side of bacon and six slices of toast. He devoured it all in about five minutes; feeling so satisfied by the time it was gone. Tim almost had to crawl to the couch to lie down after eating so much food. He switched on the TV and immediately got surprised by the images of another dead college girl on the news.

The reporter said she was killed late in the afternoon the day before, beaten to death with a blunt object. Tim thought this time he couldn't have been involved since he didn't have any blackouts the day before. Then he remembered day dreaming near campus so he wondered if the blackouts were getting more subtle. He shrugged it off as coincidence since there was nothing to suggest he had done anything this time.

Remembering his mother's diary, Tim ran upstairs and grabbed it off of the dresser. He took it with him and headed back to the quiet place he liked at the river. The diary started in 1987 when the twins were just two years old. The first entry read "Tony hit me again today and practically yanked my arm right off my shoulder. I can't even lift the boys because it hurts so badly and I wouldn't dare let Tony help with them. He's been so mad lately and I don't know why. He has that look in his eye when he gets mean, like he's staring down the devil himself. I don't care about myself but I'm afraid he'll start taking it out on Tim and Travis. He already looks at them with disgust if they so much as make a peep. I thought about taking the boys and running away but I know he would track me down. Besides, what would we do with no job and no money? Tony never gives me so much as a penny more than I spend on food and he takes care of the other bills. I will have to shelter the boys as much as I can and let him take it out on me".

Tim felt a tear running slowly down his cheek as the reality sunk in about the abuse his mother dealt with. She had told him that but the fact that she would take the abuse to protect them filled him with a new appreciation for his mother. He wished she was there so he could tell her he understood how much she sacrificed for them. He was mad at himself for blaming her all that time for everything and now he couldn't even apologize. He thought about Travis and how convinced he always was about their mother being the cruel one in their lives. He wondered how different things might have been if they had always been told the truth.

Tim spent the entire morning reading the diary and came across some interesting items among the entries. It became apparent his mother was abused almost every day and often several times a day by his father for years. As far as she knew he started abusing him and Travis when they were three years old. Travis got caught up in most of it and his mother thought Travis was able to take it like she did. She mentioned thinking Tim was too weak to handle the abuse and she feared it would lead to scars that could never be overcome. The diary ended with her saying his father left after she threatened to call the police and have him arrested for his latest outbreak. She wrote that he had locked Travis in the basement for a few days and tortured him, leaving him with a broken arm. She finished, writing "I pray to God Tony never comes back but if he does I swear I will kill him".

Chapter Twenty Six

Tim thought about the ending of his mother's diary and he knew she must have done just what she said and killed his father. He figured there was no way someone so sadistic and psychopathic would ever be able to change. He was actually glad she killed him and found himself wishing she had done it sooner. It would have prevented a lot of grief and probably saved the lives of several people, including her and Travis. Other than gaining an understanding of his parents' roles in his childhood Tim didn't learn much more from the diary. He wondered why his mother thought he was weak as a child, but the truth was he remembered running and hiding from his father so there may be some truth to it.

Tim hoped he would be able to use the knowledge of his difficult childhood to learn how to get control of his life. He didn't think he was like his father and brother because he didn't knowingly want to hurt or kill anyone. He actually felt remorseful when he discovered he had done those horrible things to all of those people. There was nobody here any longer to pull him down that path so he just had to become stronger emotionally. He was more determined than ever to pull himself together and he wouldn't stop trying until he had achieved what he yearned for, a normal life without so much drama. Most of all he wanted to stop living in fear of what else he might do.

Tim bought several books about psychopathic traits and treatment options. The first thing he found was a test for psychopathic tendencies, listing twenty characteristics of a psychopath. He realized right away that each and every one of them described Travis completely but Tim didn't seem to fit into the category. The only traits that related to Tim were those things Travis forced him into like juvenile delinquency and early behavioral problems. Tim realized he wasn't a therapist but he did not fit into the description of a psychopath in any way "other than the obvious killings" he thought. The more he read the more Tim got confused with all of the possibilities. He wondered if he wasn't a full blown schizophrenic, calm and mild mannered on one hand a cold blooded killer on the other.

One conclusion Tim came to was that he could not "fix" himself just because he wanted to. In his reading he came across a study stating that smoking marijuana had shown positive results in 30% of a trial group of people suffering from schizophrenia as well as other types of psychosis. Tim decided it was worth a try and even though he had no idea where to buy pot he headed downtown to see what he could find. He walked down street after street looking for signs, though he wasn't sure what signs he was looking for. He finally saw a group of young guys listening to music on a boom box. Tim approached the group and asked if any of them knew where he could buy some pot. After a few questions so they could be sure Tim wasn't a cop or anything, one of them sold him an ounce.

Tim went home to try it out but he had a lot of doubts that it would really help him not to mention he was nervous about trying any drugs at all. He already had trouble maintaining control and he thought drugs could make that even more difficult. Tim stopped at the tobacco shop down the street to get some rolling papers like the ones he saw other kids use over the years. He went home and locked all the doors, though he didn't really know why, and rolled his first ever joint. He smoked about half of it and started feeling a little disconnected and tired. Other than that he really didn't notice anything out of the ordinary before he went to sleep.

Tim slept well, but the dream still haunted him in the midst of sleep, visions of the same faceless figure that seems to be so afraid. Was the person afraid of him or was he supposed to be afraid of them? Tim had no idea, but the next day he realized the dream contained more clarity than ever before. He still couldn't recognize the figure or make out the voice but there was something he couldn't put his finger on. There was something intangible about the whole thing but it was starting to make sense in some way.

Tim continued smoking pot two times every day through the summer and he didn't have any blackouts or memory lapses. He did notice a change in his dreams, being much more frequent and ever changing. There was always a figure but it wasn't the same every time. Sometimes it took on the size of a child and others it seemed like a rather large adult. He knew his mind was trying to recall something but he had no idea what it was. He also didn't know if it was something he would actually want to remember.

The fall came quickly and Tim got back into his routine of classes and working security on the weekends. He stopped smoking once school started, thinking that the busy schedule was enough to keep him focused. He enjoyed the class work again and also was glad to see Dave and Harry again. Having friends around made him feel more normal and he felt that was an important factor in his stability. Tim took on more hours with campus security also, filling his idle time as much as he could.

As the weeks went by without incident Tim's dreams also diminished in frequency. He was feeling more confident and comfortable with each passing day but still couldn't let his guard down for fear of what could happen. The year was racing by for Tim and he spent more time with Dave and Harry than the year before. In fact, he had never spent this much time with anyone other than Travis back when he was alive.

Other than that damned dream it was like there was nothing in Tim's life relating to his past times of uncertainty. He didn't feel any signs of the typical confusion, the loss of memory and time. He felt normal, or at least what he thought normal must feel like. Most of all he felt at peace with himself, his life and his future. He felt things were finally going to be okay, things were going to be different than ever before.

Tim started socializing more than he had done in the past, attending parties with Dave and Harry. They spent a lot of time together and Tim slowly began making more friends, talking to people in a sociable way, something he didn't feel capable of before. He never realized it but apparently women found him to be attractive, something only told to him by Susie so long ago. "Poor Susie, I miss her so much" he thought. "She never had a chance with Travis around." He thought that he was as guilty as his mother for not doing something sooner to stop the madman beside him.

Tim hadn't thought about Susie for a long time but now he couldn't get her out of his mind. He felt so guilty for not being able to stop his brother, for not knowing what Travis had been planning. Of course, he thought, his brother probably never planned a single thing in his life. "He was the most impetuous opportunistic asshole that ever lived" Tim thought. One thing had become certain while faced with all of the truths he had been protected from all those years, Travis had grown to become their father in every way, shape and form.

Chapter Twenty Seven

Tim spent the next several months living life like he had never experienced before, feeling a comfort level he hadn't thought possible. He enjoyed college life for one year, finally doing the things that every other kid did in college. Sure, there was partying and some degree of shunning responsibility but compared to what Tim grew up with this was truly no big deal. In fact it made him appear more like every other person he interacted with each and every day. Besides, he stopped using marijuana once the school year started and he hoped he never had to rely on it again because it made him feel so disconnected from everything.

Dave introduced Tim to a girl at a party the weekend before midterms. Her name was Carol and she was an attractive blonde that Tim had never noticed before. They talked and eventually left the party and made their way to a coffee shop down the street. It was almost morning before they realized how time had slipped away from them. Tim politely ended the night by telling Carol he had a great time and hoped to see her again soon. She gave him her number and told him to call her whenever he wanted. Tim liked her, but he felt awkward talking to women in a personal way.

Tim waited about three weeks before calling Carol, telling her he had been busy with work and school. They talked on the phone for a while and Tim felt that was a little easier than in person. He didn't really have experience with relationships at all with Susie being his only one. He felt like a sixth grader talking to girls for the first time, which he thought pretty much described him. Putting relationships aside for years because of his family and his own problems had a pronounced effect on his maturity.

Tim and Carol began seeing each other on a regular basis, going to the movies or just out for coffee a couple of times a week. Tim enjoyed talking to her but it wasn't the way he remembered with Susie. He liked Carol a lot but he knew he would never be in love with her and doubted he would ever fall in love with anyone again. They continued going out and while at a party one night Tim finally broke down and told her he enjoyed her company but just wanted to be good friends. Carol didn't feel the same way and told Tim for the first time that she loved him. "I'm sorry Carol, but I just don't feel the same way" Tim replied. Carol slapped him across the face and ran out with tears running down her face.

Tim didn't feel good about hurting Carol but he had to be brutally honest with her. He thought it would have only gotten worse if he had let things go any longer. Dave saw Carol leaving and asked what happened that upset her? He calmed her down, telling her that Tim is naïve when it comes to dating. Although it didn't make her feel that much better she realized Dave was right about Tim. He did come across as someone much younger than his years, like a pubescent teenage boy. She thought it may have been that seemingly innocent boyish look that attracted her to him in the first place.

Tim didn't want to meet any women anymore, not after seeing the hurtful look on Carol's face. Dave and Harry kept trying to fix him up but Tim stood firm for the remainder of the school year. Tim graduated with his Associates Degree in Criminal Justice that June and continued working at the college security office during the summer. He started the job search and even thought of enrolling in the Police Academy. He decided against it in case there were any records pertaining to him in Sgt. Ames' files. Even though Ames was no longer alive Tim didn't know if he had shared his suspicions with anyone else in the department.

It took a few months but Tim found a job at the Norfolk County Jail as a Corrections Officer. It was a good job with decent pay and benefits and there was overtime available so Tim planned on staying as busy as possible. It was a recipe that had not failed him for a long time and he saw no reason to chance changing it. He buried himself in work six days a week and ten hours a day. It made for long days and didn't leave much time for anything else but that was the way Tim liked it.

The only thing that reminded him of a past best forgotten was the damned dream that would simply not die. Tim saw nothing in the dream that explained what happened or enlightened him in any way. The figure in the dream drew nothing more from him than a blank when it came to facial features and voice. He lived through the dream at least five times weekly and as far as he could tell it was never going to stop. It seemed like it must be his very own purgatory, something he would relive over and over without ever seeing the end.

One day at the jail a couple of inmates got into a fight and Tim broke it up but not before one of them cut his arm with a makeshift knife. They didn't have much in the way of a medical staff on site so they sent Tim to the emergency room at DePaul Medical Center. The staff took him in right away, not because he was bleeding that badly Tim thought, but because they wanted to get the guy in the prison guard uniform out of sight. The nurse came in and introduced herself as Jenny. She checked his blood pressure and wrapped the cut with some gauze before telling Tim the doctor would be in soon.

Tim waited for nearly twenty minutes and still no doctor had been in to look at him. The nurse came back and apologized to him and asked if he needed anything while he waited. Apparently there were two shooting victims that came in right after Tim and the doctors were busy with them. Tim said "I'm fine but could I possibly get a glass of water?" Jenny told him it was no problem and soon came back with a cold bottle of water. "The water out of the tap is horrible so I got you a bottle from the cafeteria" she told Tim. He told her how much he appreciated it and formally introduced himself. He felt that funny feeling he had experienced when he was around Susie so long ago. He admitted to himself that he was quite smitten with this beautiful nurse named Jenny.

She kept coming back to check on Tim every few minutes and there was something about him that made her smile. She thought he was very charming, yet in an innocent sort of way. Jenny felt herself drawn to him almost immediately but she usually keeps guys at a distance. One thing was for certain, she knew she couldn't let her father meet any guy she might find interesting. He was a long time commander in the navy and the guy would never stand a chance getting through his scrutiny.

The doctor finally came in and Jenny quickly excused herself, feeling certain Dr. Jansen could see how she seemed like a giddy school girl. She waited until the doctor was finished and went back in to have Tim sign the paperwork to be released. Jenny waited to see if Tim was going to make a gesture to extend the conversation beyond the emergency room but he was just too shy. She finally decided not to risk the chance of never seeing him again and offered Tim her phone number. "I'm sure we're both busy most of the time but you can call me sometime if you want" Jenny told Tim. Tim blushed but took the paper with her number written on it, telling Jenny he hoped to talk to her again soon.

Tim walked out and literally smacked himself on the forehead, asking himself "You big dope, what the Hell is the matter with you?" He thought about how juvenile he must have seemed, barely able to so much as string a sentence together. Then Tim realized he had a smile on his face for absolutely no obvious reason. Closing his eyes he pictured Jenny, the warmth in her beautiful blue eyes, inviting your gaze like he had never known before. He saw her long blonde hair cascading down around her shoulders with not one strand of hair out of place, glistening in the light behind her. He thought she looked very angelic with a kindness in her voice as well as her touch unlike any he had known in his lifetime. He knew it would sound crazy to anyone else, especially Jenny, but he knew in his heart that he loved her.

Chapter Twenty Eight

Jenny found herself thinking about Tim as she walked home after her shift in the ER. She smiled as she remembered how he seemed so strong yet so helpless. The one thing that she especially liked was Tim's boyish charm, an innocent quality not often seen in most men. She was pretty sure he liked her too but wondered if she may have misinterpreted his nervousness for something more. When Jenny got home she turned on the television and realized she kept looking at the phone, wanting it to ring. She had never been in love before but wondered if this emotional wave she was riding might mean she found love for the first time.

Jenny felt like a little school girl, waiting anxiously by the phone for the call that might never come. She nearly jumped out of the chair with excitement when the phone rang. She answered it quickly with a lump in her throat, forcing out an excited "Hello?" There was silence for a few moments and finally Tim replied "Hi is this Jenny? This is Tim from the emergency room earlier." The two of them talked for over an hour and they both felt so comfortable, like they had known each other for years. They made plans to go out for dinner the following Friday before saying goodnight.

Tim got increasingly nervous all week leading up to his date with Jenny. He wasn't as nervous about being with her but thinking about how he had gotten close to Susie weighed on his mind. He felt responsible for not predicting what Travis might do to her and thought she would still be alive if it weren't for that. Now he saw himself getting involved in a new relationship and worried not about Travis, but about himself and what he had become capable of. He knew it sounded irrational but his mind never was completely rational when it came to him and his family.

Jenny was equally nervous as the day approached but her anxiety was due to her father. She had never been truly involved with anyone before and she knew her father would find fault with any man she chose. She knew one reason was because of her father's military background but she also knew there was a bigger reason. Her parents had gone through a difficult divorce and her father wanted to protect her from that kind of pain. She knew damned well that nobody on earth was ever going to live up to her father's standards.

Friday finally came and Jenny had already chosen the outfit she planned to wear days before. She took the day off work to go to the salon to get her nails done and highlights in her hair. She was getting more nervous as the day wore on and it gave her an uneasy feeling. She managed to fight it off in her mind and convinced herself it was perfectly normal to be nervous about a first date. She spent hours getting herself ready for Tim and she thought it was well worth it when she looked at herself in the mirror.

Unlike Jenny, Tim became less nervous about the date as time got closer. He became more confident and comfortable, feeling nothing more than happiness and excitement. Tim didn't have any really nice clothes because he never really had a need for them. He went to the mall and picked out a nice pair of slacks and coordinating shirt. He thought about getting a tie also but living near the ocean meant formal wear was more casual than other places. Tim really preferred walking to driving but in this case he had to break out his mom's old Buick to go pick up Jenny.

Tim got to Jenny's apartment about fifteen minutes early so he decided to drive around until it was closer to 7:00. He drove aimlessly around the streets nearby and barely noticed anyone or anything around him, instead thinking about Jenny and how beautiful she is. He looked in the rear view mirror and slammed on the brakes when he saw Travis sitting in the back seat staring at him. After quickly pulling off the road Tim turned and looked in the back seat, laughing at himself for thinking anyone was there, let alone his brother. Of course the seat was empty but he still got out of the car and looked closer and even popped the trunk open and peered inside. He knew his mind was playing tricks on him after his thoughts about his brother's hand in Susie's death.

Jenny was waiting for Tim and looked at the clock for about the hundredth time, seeing it was now quarter after seven. She started thinking she had gotten stood up when she heard a car door out front. She looked through the curtain and saw Tim literally running from his car to the front door. She almost laughed at the sight and at herself for thinking he wouldn't show. Jenny opened the door just as Tim was knocking and he practically fell over when she pulled it open so quickly. Tim said "I'm so sorry; I was early and then drove around until it was time and I guess I got lost." Jenny thought he looked like a dog that was just caught doing something wrong, with that pitiful look in his eyes. She told Tim it was fine and not to worry about it.

They left for the restaurant and talked all the way there, learning about each other as much as people could in twenty minutes. Tim jumped out of the car and ran around to the passenger side to open the door for Jenny before she could even get her hand around the door handle. She thought it was charming how he stuck to old values unlike most people today. He seemed thrilled to please her in even the slightest way and Jenny had to admit she enjoyed it. She found it refreshing in a world where everyone felt like they were owed something for doing absolutely nothing.

They enjoyed a wonderful meal at a nice place called Freemason Abbey's. Tim ordered the prime rib and Jenny got the crab cakes, a favorite among the regulars. The food was excellent and Tim thought the company was even better, telling Jenny "This is the best dinner I have ever had, and I don't mean the food." She agreed and said "I'm so glad you got stabbed", then laughed and explained that she meant she was glad they met. Tim laughed with her at the way it sounded and told her he was glad also, and said he would get stabbed all over if it meant he could see her again. Jenny told him he could see her anytime he wanted to and jokingly told him to never get stabbed again.

Tim asked Jenny if she wanted to stop for coffee before he took her home and without hesitation she told him yes. She was hoping the night would never end and at least now it would go on for a while longer. Over coffee Jenny told Tim about her mother and father, how her dad was overprotective and unreasonable at times. "Despite all of that my dad is great and I always knew he loved me" she said. Tim told her he would love to meet her parents and added that her father sounded like a good guy to him.

Jenny asked Tim about his family and he told her only part of the family story. He told her he never knew his father because he left when he was a baby, which he now knew wasn't completely honest. He was truthful that he didn't know his father because all he had was those few memories of abuse. He also told her about his mother and how she died accidentally at home. He didn't mention Travis, not because he didn't want her to know he had a brother. Rather it was because he didn't want her to know what a monster his brother was and what he had become himself.

Losing all track of time the two of them talked right through the night mostly about Jenny's family. They also talked about the little things like favorite foods, colors and everything else under the sun. Tim didn't say much about himself or his family, but instead encouraged Jenny to share more and more. Jenny talked so much she was sure Tim would be turned off but nothing could be further from the truth. He was listening to every word like a child hearing a bedtime story for the first time.

They finally gave in and Tim drove Jenny back to her apartment. They talked for a while longer in the car before Tim walked her to her door. Jenny thought he must be the last true gentleman around. Tim felt that awkward shyness run through him as their date was coming to a close. He debated in his mind whether he should kiss her or not but before he could muster up the courage Jenny reached up to Tim and kissed him softly. Their lips lingered together for what seemed like hours before they parted, breaking the embrace they both would remember for the rest of their lives. The two of them resisted their urges, not wanting to rush into things and take away from a perfect first date. Tim watched Jenny close the door after pausing for one last brief kiss.

Chapter Twenty Nine

Tim and Jenny spent a lot of time together after that first date, not doing anything people might consider special. As far as the two of them were concerned just talking and holding hands was special enough. One week after their first date Tim told Jenny he loved her and she immediately replied "I love you too", as tears of joy streamed down her face. A few weeks later Jenny told Tim her mother wanted to meet him and had invited them to dinner at her house. Of course Tim accepted the invitation, thinking to himself how sad it was that he had no family for Jenny to meet. Then he thought "What difference would it make if they were still alive? I wouldn't want Jenny to meet them anyway."

Saturday night Tim picked up Jenny and they drove to her mother's house in the Ghent area of Norfolk. Tim had never been to that area before but he could tell it was a very diverse neighborhood. Jenny guided him to her mother's house, a formidable house that was built in the early 1900's. It was massive compared to Tim's little two bedroom house and almost looked like a museum or a mansion he thought. He asked Jenny "Wow, is your mother rich?" and she laughed out loud at the thought, telling Tim her father did well in the Navy but they were far from rich. Tim was a little embarrassed by how he must have seemed but he had always lived in a much less affluent neighborhood, not that they were dirt poor. They had what they needed in life growing up and nothing more.

Jenny's mother swung the door open and said "You must be Tim." Tim replied "Yes, it's nice to meet you Mrs. Stevens" and she quickly set him at ease telling him to call her Donna. Tim liked Donna right away and immediately knew this was where Jenny's beauty came from. This mother and daughter could easily be mistaken for sisters and their personalities were remarkably similar as well. Donna asked Tim about his family and he told her he really was never close with his small family. He hated that question but knew ahead of time to expect it since it was a typical thing people would ask.

Donna told them dinner would be ready in about a half hour so Tim and Jenny sat on the couch while she finished cooking. Jenny got a family photo album out and showed Tim pictures of her throughout her life. The early pictures included her father, a tall powerful looking man with a stern but loving look about him. Pictures of the family together showed they all seemed very happy, like the family Tim thought he would have loved to be a part of. Jenny had only told Tim that her parents divorced without any details but the pictures told a story of happiness fading slowly as they aged. More recent pictures were almost entirely of Jenny alone.

"So tell me, what happened with your mom and dad?" he asked Jenny. She told him the Navy came between them because of the times her father had to be away for as long as six months at a time. "I never got to see much of my dad growing up but we are still really close. We adjusted to Navy life but I guess Mom couldn't" she added. Her parent's never told her what really happened but there was more to it than being apart a lot. Her father never wanted Jenny to know that Donna had an affair with his best friend a few years ago. They both agreed to never say a word about it for fear of how Jenny would react. It was easier to let her believe they just drifted apart, which probably contributed to the affair in the first place.

Donna told Tim and Jenny dinner was ready and they all went into the dining room. "I hope you don't mind fried chicken and mashed potatoes Tim. It's one of Jenny's favorite meals" Donna said. Tim told her everything looked and smelled incredible. He was used to TV dinners and peanut butter sandwiches most of the time. Even when his mother was around they never sat down like a family with a home cooked meal. Donna watched Tim devour practically an entire chicken and a plate of potatoes in about ten minutes. She was smiling at him when he paused long enough to say "This is the best fried chicken I ever ate in my entire life." Donna liked seeing someone enjoy her cooking much like her husband Jonathan had not so many years ago.

After dinner the three of them sat and talked for a while so Donna and Tim could get to know each other. She liked Tim a lot and she could see by the way he looked at Jenny that he was head over heels in love with her. It was the same look she remembered seeing in Jonathan when they were young, a look of complete surrender. It was the look that said he was hers, unconditionally and without reservations. Tim reminded her of Jonathan in many ways, the man he once was when he was young and somewhat insecure instead of the hardened military man he later became. It made her wish she could go back to the days when things were so much easier and made so much more sense. Donna knew in her heart that she hated being alone, and seeing Jenny come alive with this budding romance made her envious in a good way.

Donna thought there was a sense of mystery surrounding Tim but thought it might just be that he didn't have an extended family. It seemed that he had always been somewhat of a loner and she could see how Jenny was the catalyst that was bringing him out of his shell. She knew her daughter was an amazing young woman, strong and independent, yet seeing her with Tim showed a new side of her. Looking at Jenny, Donna saw herself when she was young, a woman who had great control of her life but would succumb to the passions of an exciting young man in an instant. She fully understood what love was all about and she had no doubt that Jenny was in love with Tim.

After dinner and a lot of time talking Donna asked Jenny if she could stay a while so the two of them could talk and catch up on everything. "I'll drop you off at your place later" she told her. Tim said his goodbyes, thanking Donna for the wonderful dinner and after only a brief kiss with Jenny he left. Tim was young and naïve when it came to relationships but he was pretty sure Jenny's mom wanted her to stay to talk about him, or the two of them. He wasn't really worried about it because Donna really seemed to like him but he wondered what she was thinking.

Jenny blurted out "Well, what do you think of him?" before the door was even closed behind Tim. "He seems really sweet Jenny" she replied. She went on to tell her that she could see they love each other just by the look in their eyes. Jenny told her mother that Tim wasn't like any guy she ever knew and said she was definitely in love with him. "There isn't a single doubt that he feels the same way about you" her mother said.

"How do you think Dad will feel?" Jenny asked. Donna told her what she already knew, that no man was ever going to be good enough for his little girl. "He's as stubborn as a mule but I'll handle him so don't worry about that" Donna added. She told Jenny that her father would just have to accept whatever may happen between her and Tim. Jenny told her she was afraid her father might scare Tim away and Donna told her she didn't need to worry about that. "Tim's not going anywhere judging from that look in his eyes. Besides, your father won't be back in the states for another three months at least" she said.

Jenny felt better after talking to her mother about her concerns but her father's ways still loomed in the back of her mind. She was afraid to tell him she was seeing Tim and was glad he would be away a while longer. She decided to write her dad a letter, explaining who Tim was and how they were in love. At least he couldn't do anything about it while he was out to sea and hopefully it would soak in slowly before he got back home. Maybe, just maybe, he would accept Tim on her word and not judge him like he did everyone else around him. She thought everyone except herself because she knew he let her get away with almost anything and never criticized her in the least.

Donna sent a letter to Jonathan also, spelling out how she would not stand by and watch him crush Jenny's dreams. She wrote how she saw the same love in Jenny and Tim that the two of them used to share, one of trust, passion and complete understanding. She wrote "I'm sorry for everything I did to hurt you Jonathan and I would do anything to make you understand. Right now we have an obligation to Jenny to do right by her and let her make her own choices in life and love. We have no business trying to persuade her to do what we think is best and she has to succeed or fail on her own. Please let her live her life as she sees fit and don't try to preach and for God's sake leave that poor boy alone. He is a nice young man and I trust him completely with our beautiful daughter. When you are back in Norfolk we can talk about it, just the two of us, for Jenny's sake."

Jonathan got both their letters at the same time and tossed the one from Donna aside as if it meant nothing to him. He read Jenny's letter and cringed at her becoming involved with someone without him being around to check the guy out for her. He wanted to trust her decisions but as a father he had to protect her from her own unfounded judgment. She was always too trusting of everyone she came across. "Hell, it was hard enough convincing her not to pick up a damned hitchhiker when she learned to drive" Jonathan thought. She was too nice and too sweet so it was his responsibility as her father to protect her whether she thought she needed it or not.

Donna never wrote him since the settlement came through with their divorce so he figured her letter had something to do with this Tim character. He opened it and read everything she had to say, thinking "How dare she try to tell me what to do when it comes to Jenny. She's living proof that you can't trust anyone." At the same time Jonathan knew better than to blatantly go after this kid, whoever he was. Jenny and Donna would gang up on him and make life very difficult if he did. He wasn't going to just look the other way but once he checked this Tim out he wouldn't say anything unless he found something that forced his hand. As of now he didn't even know the kids last name so he would have to suffer through until he got back to the states. One thing was for certain, he would uncover any little tidbit he could find on this guy. He knew the rest of this tour was going to be stressful, knowing there was someone around his little girl that he didn't even know.

Chapter Thirty

Tim knew he hadn't been completely honest with Jenny about his family but he still felt it was for the best. They weren't around anymore so it wasn't like she would find out any different. He put every picture and any sign of his brother away in the attic so she wouldn't come across them some day. As far as Jenny was concerned Tim was an only child and that was the way he knew it had to be. Putting his brother's things away seemed symbolic to Tim with the start of a new chapter in his life, letting go of the past.

Tim cleaned the house from top to bottom, making sure he had everything in place before inviting Jenny over. They were always going out or to her apartment but she had a roommate so there wasn't much privacy. Tim was no great cook but he planned what he thought would be a nice dinner and he rented a couple of movies from Blockbuster. Jenny walked over to Tim's house and brought a bottle of wine and two wine glasses. Tim never had wine so he was a little nervous about trying it. He made up his mind that he would fake it if he didn't like it so he wouldn't seem too immature.

Jenny asked Tim if he would open the wine and he took the bottle of Cabernet, not sure how to open it. Sensing his uncertainty, Jenny asked if he had a corkscrew and Tim began rummaging through drawer after drawer in the kitchen. Jenny helped and she finally found one and handed it to Tim but he still looked a little puzzled. He figured it out and pulled the cork out after annihilating it to some degree, leaving bits of it floating in the bottle. He poured the wine into the two glasses and handed one to Jenny. Tim took a sip and tried to hide how much he disliked it but he was sure she could see him grimace. He told her it was delicious but Jenny had indeed noticed the sour look on his face. She took a sip and nearly spit it out because the taste was horribly bitter and strong. "I thought it was just me" Tim said as he laughed out loud. They poured the wine out and settled on two glasses of iced tea, chuckling at how silly they both must have looked.

Jenny sat on the patio watching Tim as he hovered over the grill, fanning out flames as quickly as they appeared. She smiled as she thought about how Tim was trying to impress her, not realizing he didn't even have to. He eventually carried over a plate with chicken and grilled vegetables. The chicken was charred and drenched in barbeque sauce and the vegetables were somewhat mushy but Jenny didn't mind. They ate out on the patio, enjoying the light breeze that had started cooling the evening air. Tim didn't think she was being completely honest, but she told him the food was great.

After they finished with dinner they went back inside to escape the mosquitoes that were suddenly everywhere. Tim put a movie on and got them each a refill on the iced tea. They sat on the sofa together and Jenny leaned over and rested her head on Tim's chest. She could feel his heartbeat sounding off with a rhythmic echo from deep inside. Tim put his arm around her and she heard the tempo pick up quickly in his chest. Jenny reached up with parted lips and Tim kissed her deeply. It wasn't their first kiss by any stretch but Jenny felt herself tremble, her heart racing to match the rhythm of Tim's beat for beat. They went down the hall to Tim's bedroom and fell into bed in a heap of lust, their bodies coming together in harmony.

Tim and Jenny made love for hours, with no thought of how it must have sounded to the neighbors. They felt ecstasy like they never had before, their bodies mingling together in every way. The entire event culminated in one last wave of desire and emotion. Exhausted, they laid motionless on the bed for at least a half hour. Finally Jenny broke the silence, saying "That was amazing." He told her he agreed completely and pulled her close as they fell asleep in each other's arms until morning.

Tim woke up to the smell of something burning and went to the kitchen to find Jenny trying to fan smoke out the window. She had burned the bacon and the toast, failing in an effort to surprise Tim with breakfast in bed. Tim grabbed a piece of burnt bacon and shoved the whole slice in his mouth. He told her it wasn't burned too badly and said it tasted great. Jenny knew better but appreciated his lame attempt to make her feel better. After breakfast the two of them went upstairs to shower and get ready for another day.

The next few months allowed the two young lovers to spend a lot of time together, getting to know one another. They became closer with each passing day but Jenny knew her father was going to be there soon. That day would come and everything would explode into chaos with no idea what may happen. She loved her father but she loathed the day he would surely come between her and Tim. Jenny tried to put that thought out of her mind and simply enjoy how much she was in love.

Their relationship became more serious all the time and Tim started thinking about asking Jenny to marry him. He never really knew any married couples, having come from a small broken home. He only knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Jenny by his side. He had seen movies and read about marriage proposals and how it was always customary to ask her parents but he didn't know if that was old fashioned or not. Tim was a loner all his life with no father so he had no idea what to do or how to do it when it came to relationships. From what he had heard about her father he figured he should probably wait until he meets him. Tim knew he was facing an uphill battle when it came to Jenny's father.

Tim knew his house wasn't much to look at but it was his so he tried to start fixing it up a little bit. He did a lot of painting and replaced some doors and windows, giving the place an updated look. He went to the cellar to rid it of any signs of the torture chamber it had been so many years ago. It made Tim a little uneasy to go down there and seeing the tables with straps and the paddles just made it worse. He had been so happy since meeting Jenny that he had forgotten how many bad memories lived in his house. He quickly stripped the basement of all belongings, hauling everything outside and into the dumpster he had the trash company drop off.

Tim thought the house turned out pretty decent by the time he was done and he brought Jenny over again to see the difference. She looked around with a gleam in her eyes and said "It looks so nice Tim. I can't believe you did all this by yourself." Tim felt a lot of pride because he figured out how to fix everything up on his own with no help at all. He thought this was the first step toward a life together with Jenny, providing a decent place to live. He thought "Okay, neither of us can cook so we either starve or eat out a lot" but that didn't matter to him. He wanted to make her his wife as soon as he could.

Tim asked Jenny if she would mind if he had her and her mother come over for dinner one weekend. She said "That's a wonderful idea", thinking to herself how glad she was that he had fixed things up in this dingy old house first. "Who's going to do the cooking?" Jenny asked Tim. "I thought we would handle it together" Tim replied. She told him it sounded like the blind would be leading the blind but happily agreed to it. Tim told Jenny he bought a book about grilling so he was planning to cook steaks if she would handle the vegetables.

Donna joined the two of them for dinner at Tim's house and he felt like she was looking at the house while trying to figure out what he was really like. As he thought, Donna was looking at things, thinking a person is a product of their own surroundings. She knew her daughter was in love and she wanted her to be happy but she also wanted her to have the life she deserved. She could see that Tim came from humble beginnings but he seemed to have a good heart and there was no doubt he loved Jenny. He lived in an area of Norfolk that was considered pretty nice years ago but the area had declined. Still, she thought, the house was well taken care of so he apparently stayed on top of things and did the best he could.

Dinner came and Donna had to admit it was pretty darned good, and knowing Jenny had prepared the roasted red potatoes and butternut squash surprised her to no end. Jenny never had a desire to learn how to cook, willing to live on frozen dinners and fast food. She had to admit Tim was having a positive impact on her beautiful daughter. They enjoyed their dinner and Donna was completely taken aback when Jenny said she would take care of the dishes. "You never did the dishes once in all your years at home" Donna joked with her. Tim helped Jenny get all of the dishes to the kitchen and offered to help but Jenny insisted he should go keep her mother company while she took care of them.

Tim went to the living room and sat with Donna, asking her if she needed anything. She told him she was fine, but she noticed nervousness with Tim and wondered why. Her curiosity didn't last long when Tim asked her what she thought about him asking Jenny to marry him. "I know she would say yes Tim, but let's not get too far ahead of ourselves. Jonathan will be back in a couple of weeks, and you will see he can make things miserable if he wants to" she told him. She went on to say that she would do everything she could to help get her husband on board but asked him to be patient. "I know you will make Jenny happy and I would love to welcome you to the family" she told Tim.

Tim smiled, thinking about the very idea of being part of a family. He had never truly been part of a real family, but instead had been part of a disaster. For a second he thought he wasn't worthy of a family and wondered what he was thinking. He quickly brushed the thought aside, seeing Jenny walk into the room with soap suds on her hands. He thought she looked absolutely adorable and told her so. As the evening came to a close he smiled, thinking to himself he was the luckiest man alive.

Chapter Thirty One

Commander Jonathan Stevens could see the shoreline as the aircraft carrier USS Enterprise approached the naval base in Norfolk. Normally he had mixed emotions coming back from a tour of duty. Since he and Donna had divorced and Jenny had grown up there wasn't anything waiting back home that mattered. When he was at sea he was responsible for a crew of over five thousand that lived and worked on his "city at sea". He thrived on that but this time he could hardly wait to get back to the states after getting letters about this guy Jenny was seeing.

Jonathan went straight to Donna's house when he got back to the base. He had to find out how serious things were with his little girl and Tim. Donna wasn't surprised when he came straight from the dock to her house. After all, she knew him better than anyone ever could after living the life of a navy wife all those years. She knew he wouldn't be able to resist the urge to find out just who Jenny was seeing. "So what the Hell is the story with this kid you wrote me about?" Jonathan asked. Donna told him Tim was a nice young man who treated Jenny very well. She lectured him about causing any friction, telling him Jenny would never forgive him if he chased Tim away. She thought to herself there was no way Tim would be chased away. He seemed like the quiet and shy type but she could see another side of him was there.

Jonathan tried his best to reserve judgment about Tim without ever meeting him but it was difficult for him. He didn't trust people in general and especially not when his daughter was in the mix. Jonathan called Jenny and she couldn't stop talking about Tim and how happy she was. Jonathan offered to take the two of them to dinner and Jenny suggested her mother should come along. That wasn't what Jonathan had in mind but he had a tough time saying no to his little girl. When Jenny called her mother to ask her to come along she didn't want to either but Jenny insisted.

Jonathan made dinner reservations for the four of them at Steinhilber's Thalia Acres Inn in Virginia Beach. They used to go there for special occasions as a family and it was always one of his favorite restaurants in the area. He could taste the she crab soup just thinking about it, so creamy and rich. His mouth was watering already and dinner wasn't until the next night. He thought back to the many times he and Donna had gone there when they were married. Sometimes it was hard to separate the distant past from the present when it came to the two of them.

Jenny told Tim about the dinner plans and he had heard of Steinhilber's but he had never been there himself. His family could never have afforded to go to a nice place like that. "Do you have a nice jacket and tie to wear?" Jenny asked him. Tim didn't have anything that nice except the black blazer he had bought for his mother's funeral. Jenny told him they would go shopping together to find something that would be just perfect. A trip to JC Penney provided a nice tweed sport coat and matching tie. Jenny just wanted her father to have a favorable first impression of Tim.

Jenny and Tim went to her mother's house before dinner and Donna tried to calm Tim's nerves about meeting Jonathan. "Trust me Tim, he is more bark than bite so stop worrying" Donna said. Jenny's father met them all at Donna's house and immediately walked up to Tim and introduced himself. "Hello, you must be Tim. I'm Commander Stevens" he bellowed as he shook Tim's hand. Feeling a little intimidated, Tim did his best to match Jonathan's firm grip, telling him it was great to meet him.

As he drove them over to dinner Jonathan saw Jenny and Tim in the rear view mirror, their eyes riveted on one another. He saw the way Jenny looked at Tim and had to admit feeling a little envious. She used to look at him with so much pride when she was a little girl and now she was looking that way at a man he didn't even know. Of course she also looked at Tim with love in her eyes, something Jonathan couldn't ignore. He saw the way Tim treated her and could tell he adored Jenny by the look in his eyes. These two reminded him of the early years he spent with Donna, two people who loved each other and shared so much.

They arrived at the restaurant and were seated in a quiet corner thanks to a couple of twenties Jonathan slipped the hostess. Jenny had almost forgotten how her father could always command the best of every situation. Tim was quietly observing everything as they were seated for dinner, worried about how things might go. He had heard stories about how hard Jenny's father could be to please and he didn't want to make a mistake now. Tim looked around and was amazed by how nice everything was. He had never been anywhere so fancy in his entire life and he wondered if this is what Jenny would expect from him. She must have read his mind because she leaned over and told him she didn't really like fancy places like this but her father did.

After they ordered Jonathan turned to Tim and said "So tell me about you and your family Tim." It was a very open ended request and Tim wasn't sure how to begin. He decided honesty was the best path to follow but of course he wouldn't divulge too much. Tim spelled out how he came from a small family, growing up was him and his mother. He told how she had died and that he now lived alone in the family home. Tim spoke with pride when he talked about his job as a prison guard and brought up how that led to him and Jenny meeting in the first place.

Jonathan didn't want to admit it but he liked this young man so far and he thought he reminded him of someone but he couldn't think of who it may be. What he liked most was seeing how happy Jenny was and it was obvious how much Tim loved her. Seeing the way the two of them were together brought back memories of his own youth and how he and Donna used to be. It suddenly struck him that Tim reminded him of himself as a young man, quiet, yet tough.

Tim and Jenny were both glad that the evening went better than they could have hoped, with no lectures from her father. Everyone seemed to have a great time and the food was fantastic. The only thing Jenny wished were different was the fact that her parents weren't together. She thought it was silly since the two of them were both single and neither of them ever even dated since the divorce. She was sure her parents still had feelings for one another but there was nothing she could do to change things. It was just the one thing she would like to change in her life that would make it perfect.

Jonathan dropped everyone off at Donna's house and was asked to come in for a while. He declined and told Tim "It was great meeting you finally." Jonathan stopped at a little corner bar on his way home to have a nightcap. He ordered a gin and tonic, sipping it slowly while thinking about the evening. He did like Tim but something told him there was more to him than meets the eye. Then his thoughts drifted to Donna, thinking how she really looked great and hadn't aged one bit. His first love was the Navy but he really missed his wife, dreading the time spent in Norfolk alone.

Chapter Thirty Two

Commander Stevens called Jenny the next day and asked if she would like to go for a drive up the coast with him. He told her he wanted to catch up with her and have some time for the two of them to talk. Jenny agreed, of course, but was worried about what her father's agenda might be. She assumed he was going to hit her with the lecture about relationships that she fully expected last night but figured she may as well get it over with. Her father was going to make his opinion known whether she wanted to hear it or not.

The two of them drove down to Sandbridge to spend some time walking along the beach. Jenny always loved coming here instead of the beaches in Norfolk and Virginia Beach because it was so quiet without all the crowds. She especially loved a little restaurant there called The Cove. It wasn't fancy like her father usually liked but the fresh seafood was amazing. Of course Jonathan knew this was one of Jenny's favorite places and that's why he chose it in the first place. They sat at a quiet table on the deck overlooking the ocean, sipping on lemonade while looking over the menu. Well, Jonathan was looking but Jenny always ordered the crab cakes because they were always so great at The Cove.

They ordered lunch and Jonathan steered the topic of conversation away from the beach to Tim. Jenny thought to herself that there wasn't anything subtle about the way her father changed the subject. "Daddy, I'm crazy about Tim and I know what you're going to say" Jenny blurted out. Jonathan interrupted, saying "I was just going to say that I think Tim seems like a good guy but what did you think I was going to say?" Jenny told him she thought he was going to lecture her about seeing Tim, saying not to move too quickly. Her father told her he knew why she was worried about that but assured her he had no intention of coming between them. "I can see the love in your eyes and the way Tim looks at you" he told her. Jenny was relieved and felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from her.

Jonathan asked her to tell him all about Tim and his family, secretly hoping to glean more than he had from talking to Tim. He thought by putting Jenny at ease she wouldn't hold back as much. She told her father she really didn't know much about Tim's family because he had none left in the area. All she knew was his father had left when he was an infant and his mother died in a fall a couple of years ago. She really couldn't offer any more background about Tim than her father already knew.

They enjoyed the remainder of the trip with no more discussion about Jenny and Tim's relationship, instead enjoying a nice day reminiscing. As Jenny was growing up there were a lot of times when her father wasn't able to be around much. Jenny came to see that as normal but always longed for more time with her dad, missing him so much when he was away. Her mother was great and the two of them were really close but there was something special about the bond Jenny shared with her father. After her parents divorced it was more difficult to keep that bond alive because they didn't share a house as a family any longer. The truth of the matter was Jenny really missed her dad and she was sure her mother did too.

Jonathan dropped Jenny off at her apartment and before heading back to his place he took a drive past Tim's house. He wasn't really sure why he drove past there but he supposed it was curiosity about this young man. He thought it was strange for Tim to seem so polite and kind, yet he had no family to speak of. Jonathan wondered whether Tim was being secretive about his family and why he might react that way. He knew he had promised Donna he wouldn't come between Tim and Jenny but he had to find out what he could about Tim. There was something that didn't add up in Jonathan's mind and he was sure Tim wasn't being completely honest.

Jonathan went to his office at the base to do some digging into Tim's background. Being a high ranking military official gave him access to military records but he could always find a way to get to those of civilians as well. The first thing he discovered was that Tim had a twin brother, Travis, according to birth records listed in the Norfolk Tribune. He didn't see any other mention of Tim in the archives of the paper so he checked his brother. The first thing he found was Travis's obituary, showing he just died a few years ago. Jonathan really thought it was odd that Tim would hide the fact that he had a brother, a twin brother no less. He had known twin brothers growing up and he knew they were really close. He thought maybe Tim didn't talk about his brother because it was too painful, but still it seemed strange not to tell Jenny.

Jonathan continued searching for more archives about Travis and found where he was reported missing months before his death. There weren't many details about the whole thing so this was one more thing he would have to dig into. He changed the search to Jean Gordon and found her obituary which listed only Tim and her brother, Bob Marino as surviving relatives. There wasn't an article about Jean's death besides the obituary itself so he would have to research that elsewhere. The only other thing that showed in his search was Jean's divorce from her husband, Tony. A search for Tony Gordon showed nothing since the divorce, giving Jonathan yet another thing to research.

The only other family member was Tim's uncle Bob so he searched his name. He found him mentioned as the father of Amy Marino, who died in an accidental drowning in Norfolk. Apparently they were visiting his sister and her family when it happened. He did a broader search of Bob Marino and found he was currently living in Roanoke so he found his phone number and called him. Bob answered the phone with a hesitation in his voice and Jonathan told him who he was. He asked Bob about Tim and even though he seemed intoxicated, he said "Timmy's a good boy. I don't care what my sister tells you, it's Travis who is a punk kid. You tell my sister she better look out for that one. He always gave me the creeps." Jonathan realized Bob didn't even know his sister and nephew were dead so he knew he would never get anything else useful from him.

Jonathan went to see an old high school friend who was now the Chief of Police in Norfolk to get some help from him. Brian Hartman smiled as he saw Jonathan walk into his office, saying "How the heck are you Jon? I haven't seen you since our 25 year high school reunion!" Jonathan told him he was doing just fine and explained how he was looking for information about Tim Gordon. Brian told him it wasn't something he would normally do but for Jonathan, he would bend the rules. "Let me look into it and I'll get you copies of what I find." Brian said. Jonathan gave him the names of the rest of the family also to see what he could piece together.

Jonathan kept looking into things on his own and recalled a few murders happening at TCC. He looked at student records and found that Tim was attending TCC during all but one of the murders. That one was shortly before he started college. Jonathan tried not to jump to conclusions because thousands of students attended TCC during that time. Besides, Tim didn't live on campus, being a local so he had no ties to TCC any more than everyone in the area. Still, he wondered about Tim and hoped things couldn't be further from the truth.

Brian Hartman called Jonathan and had him come back to his office a couple of days later. When he got there Brian asked "So tell me why you are looking into this guy, Tim Gordon?" Jonathan tried to tell him it wasn't for any particular reason but Brian wasn't buying it. He finally admitted his daughter was involved with Tim and he just wanted to make sure he was a decent guy. "I wasn't Chief when things happened, but I recall our Detective Ames taking an interest in this guy when he was a kid." the chief told him. "I'm going to loan you Ames' personal files on Tim Gordon, but remember you can't use these in any way." he stressed.

Jonathan took the files home with him so he could take a close look at what they contained. The first event listed in the files was a car theft when Tim and his brother were only ten years old. Jonathan couldn't fathom ten year old kids stealing a car but according to the notes Tim took full blame for it, saying he made Travis go along with him. "To think that he could drive the car, even a little at that age, before wrecking was just startling" Jonathan thought to himself. Since Tim had admitted being responsible he had received counseling and was released to his mother with no criminal charges being filed. Ames' notes said he wasn't involved in this particular investigation but he put it in his file about Tim for reference.

The first time Ames actually questioned Tim was when Tim's cousin, Amy Marino drowned in the river while she and her father were in town for a visit. The detective wrote that the case seemed like an accidental drowning with Tim being the only witness. During questioning he said he had gone ashore to use the phone and when he turned around Amy was gone. The coroner found no signs of a struggle on Amy's body and with no other evidence it was officially ruled an accident. "I know damned well Tim Gordon was involved in this but I can't prove it, at least not yet" he wrote.

Jonathan continued reading as the detective wrote about Susie Goodman, whose body was found at the bottom of the cliff at Bush Bluff. Jonathan read "Once again there are no witnesses and no unusual markings on the body but this bastard has to be involved. Mr. Goodman said his daughter had been depressed after Tim Gordon broke up with her recently but he didn't think she would kill herself. Her death is being ruled a suicide but I know this bastard is guilty. The lieutenant is up my ass about it so I can't push it any further. His mother gave him an alibi for the night but I think she's covering for him."

The next investigation was about the killing of a college student named Lindsey Hamilton on the TCC campus. Ames wrote that he knew in his gut this was Tim's handy work again and he brought him in for questioning. As had been the case each time before, there were no witnesses and no evidence to pin this on Tim. The detective wrote that he questioned Tim for several hours trying to make him admit to it, hoping Tim would slip up and say something contradictory at the very least. He didn't say anything that could give Ames a reason to hold him any longer so he reluctantly bowed to the lieutenant's pressure again and let him go. "This kid is the best liar I have ever come across. Everyone acts like I'm crazy for suspecting him in the first place but I know he's guilty and sooner or later he's going to make a mistake" Ames wrote.

The next section of Ames's files was about Travis's disappearance. Tim's account of the story was that he and his brother were walking through the park and heard noises behind them, following them. They ran and got split up and the last time he saw Travis he was running along the river bank. The investigation turned up some blood on a branch lying next to the water and the conclusion was that Travis had fallen and hit his head. His body must have been carried downstream into the bay and ultimately the ocean. Ames wrote "Bodies keep turning up around this punk and nobody wants to see the truth but me."

Nearing the end of the files Jonathan read about the killing of a homeless woman with Ames boasting "I got the little bastard this time". He wrote that there were two witnesses to the killing this time and he was going to bring Tim in for a lineup. As he read on Jonathan saw the witnesses were two homeless guys named James and Mike. Tim was questioned about this murder and one a few weeks earlier that even Ames admitted he hadn't connected to Tim. That was before these two guys described the killer and Ames knew that they would nail Tim for this one. At the end he wrote "I can't believe these two didn't pick Tim out of the lineup. He's getting away with it again." The very last thing in his file was that he was going to follow Tim until he caught him in the act.

Jonathan called down to the police station to talk to Brian and ask him a few questions. The Chief suggested they meet for lunch down at the diner on Second Street so Jonathan drove over to see him. Brian already had two bacon cheeseburgers and fries ordered for both of them. Jonathan sat down and Brian told him "I know Ames had a lot of information there about this Gordon kid but everyone I talked to that was familiar with the facts says he got it all wrong. They all seem to think this kid is a decent guy, liked by everyone. I know you want to protect your daughter but don't put too much stock in those files. Ames based it all on his own personal feelings but it looks like a lot of tragic things happened to people around the Gordon kid. If you ask me his brother was the strange one, always looking at you with that glare." Jonathan asked why the file ended where it did and Brian told him Ames was killed shortly after that while trying to stop a mugging. Jonathan had wondered why there was nothing about Tim's mother's death in the files and that explained it.

Jonathan said "I appreciate the opinions Brian but you have to admit that there are four people very close to Tim that died in just a few years. Two were ruled accidents and one suicide, not counting his mother. Do you know anything more about her other than she fell down the stairs?" Brian told him about how she had become quite the drinker and her BAC was more than three times the legal limit. "It was no wonder she fell" he said. They finished their lunch and Jonathan went back to his place, circling past Tim's house on his way without even realizing it.

Chapter Thirty Three

Jonathan wasn't quite sure what to do with the information he had obtained about Tim. Everything he had was circumstantial and left a lot of gray areas in the grand scheme of things. He certainly couldn't go to Jenny or Donna with any of this but he thought about confronting Tim. For now he decided to keep it to himself until he had more information. Jonathan had some leave time scheduled with no plans so he figured he would use that time to continue his investigation.

Jenny told Tim how her father had told her he liked him so they were both happy about that. Tim really started thinking long and hard about asking Jenny to marry him. He went to a few jewelry stores to find a ring but had no idea what he was looking at. A nice older lady at Littman Jewelers smiled as he approached the counter. "Can I help you young man?" she asked. Tim told her he was looking for an engagement ring for his girlfriend and she told him he came to the right place. "We have a lot of nice rings to choose from" she told him. Tim picked out the nicest ring he saw and she told him it was $8,000. He nearly choked when he heard the price, thinking how in the world he could afford that. She must have seen the look of surprise and showed him a ring with a somewhat smaller diamond for just under $1,500. He was sure the woman was only trying to make him feel better when she said the other ring was too big anyway. Tim bought the ring and kept taking it out and looking at it with anticipation of what Jenny would think.

Jonathan had followed Tim and saw him go into the jewelry store and come out with a bag and he was pretty sure Tim had bought a ring. As he watched him from a distance he could see Tim as he walked, taking something out of the bag and looking at it over and over again. Jonathan had to act fast if he was going to stop this whole thing because he knew Jenny would say yes to Tim if he asked her to marry him. Yet he wondered could he stop them if he wanted to or was marriage inevitable? He continued following Tim for a few days and all he observed was him going to work and home other than when he went to see Jenny.

Tim stopped over at Donna's house and showed her the ring he had bought for Jenny and she told him it was beautiful. He asked her if she thought it would be a good idea to talk to Jenny's father before proposing to Jenny. She told him it could keep things from getting out of hand where Jonathan was concerned. She also knew it could easily backfire and Jonathan could go on the offensive with Tim. Donna suggested that they should talk to Jonathan together so she could help by being the voice of reason.

Jonathan was surprised when Donna called and invited him to lunch, saying she had something important to talk about. He wondered what she was up to but she wouldn't give him a clue. Jenny had told him she thought her mom missed him so he wondered if she might want to talk about reconciling. He thought about what he would say to that and he honestly wasn't sure. When he got to the restaurant the hostess showed him to the table where Donna was sitting and seeing Tim with her told him exactly what this was about. He thought "This is the moment of truth Jon so decide what you are going to do."

Jonathan thought, as the saying goes, "Tim looks as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs." He almost laughed before fighting back even a hint of a smile. Tim stood up and held out his hand, saying "It's nice to see you again Commander Stevens, Sir." Jonathan replied "Don't use the word sir unless you went and joined the Navy" as he reached out and shook Tim's hand. Jonathan thought that someone as nervous as Tim surely couldn't be the person Detective Ames described in his files. The person he described would have to be cool, calm and collected at all times to pull off so many killings and get away with it. Jonathan thought about what Brian had told him and figured there must have been some truth to it.

"You look like you have something on your mind Tim" Jonathan said. Donna piped in "Jonathan, please listen to Tim and hear him out before you say anything." Tim stammered "Sir, I mean Commander; I hope you know I love Jenny and I would never hurt her. The thing is I know she loves me too and I want to be with her all of the time even when I can't. I think about her every minute of every day, wishing she was beside me when she isn't. I know I don't have a great job or a lot of money, but I have my Mom's house and I do okay. The important thing is I can give her everything she needs even if it isn't as nice as she is used to. If she will have me and if you approve, I want to marry her. I promise to take care of her and love her for the rest of our lives."

Jonathan just sat there after this well rehearsed speech, looking Tim over without letting on how he was feeling about all of this. Tim thought Jenny's dad had the best poker face he had ever seen and it was making him sweat profusely with fear of rejection. Donna spoke up, asking "Well Jonathan, what do you have to say? Don't keep the boy waiting around all day." She could see the wheels turning in Jonathan's mind, trying to decide what to say and how to say it. She had seen that look a hundred times during their marriage and she suddenly realized how much she missed him. Jonathan chuckled softly and said "Welcome to the family, Tim." Tim nearly fell over before asking if he was sure Jenny would say yes. Jonathan told him there wasn't a chance in Hell she would say no and to himself he secretly hoped and prayed he hadn't made a mistake. Donna hugged Tim, welcoming him to the family and turned and gave Jonathan a big hug, whispering "Thank you Jonathan, for Jenny's sake."

Tim told Jenny he wanted to take her someplace special that coming Friday. He had asked her parents if there was someplace she liked to go, whether it is a town, a restaurant or anyplace. At the same time they blurted out "Sandbridge", laughing together as they realized they said it in tandem. Donna said "Tim, she always loved going there, away from the hustle and bustle of the big beaches around here." Jonathan piped in as well telling Tim to take her to The Cove for a nice lunch or dinner. "Ask for the manager, Charles, and tell him I sent you" Jonathan added.

Tim picked Jenny up and as they drove she asked Tim where he was taking her. He told her it was a surprise and she could see the huge grin on Tim's face, wondering what he had up his sleeve. He had called ahead and spoke to Charles as Jonathan suggested, reserving a nice intimate table for the two of them around sunset that night. Charles had told him that Jonathan had already called him and said everything would be just perfect for him and Jenny. As they got closer Jenny knew they had to be going to Sandbridge but she wondered how Tim knew. Suddenly she recalled her mother's face earlier that day with a smile that wouldn't stop and she knew where Tim got the idea. Now, she thought if she could just figure out why he was taking her there.

They arrived at The Cove and were shown to their table, tucked away in the back corner of the deck overlooking the ocean. Tim was about to order a bottle of wine, but remembered how they had both practically spit it out once before. Surprisingly the server came by with a bottle that she said was already ordered before they arrived, courtesy of Commander Stevens. It was apparently champagne and the brand name was Dom Perignon, one that neither of them had ever heard of. The server pulled the cork and poured them each a glass of champagne, smiling as she walked away. Tim made a toast, saying "To us and where we have been and where we are yet to go." Unlike that horrid wine they had before this was actually quite good, Tim thought, with a pleasant sweetness that was smooth, rather than sharp.

As Jenny raised her glass for another sip, Tim pulled a small box from his pocket. He opened it and tilted it toward her and asked "Jenny, will you marry me?" Tears streamed down her face, confusing Tim for a second or two, before she practically screamed "Yes, of course I will!" Tim felt himself tearing up also as he reached out and kissed Jenny, the woman who was now his fiancé. He was truly the happiest man alive, and he owed it all to Jenny and her parents. He didn't think things could possibly get better and simply enjoyed the moment, reflecting on how Jenny had rescued him from that path he had been on. "God, I love her" he thought.

Chapter Thirty Four

Time flew by over the next several months as Jenny drove both Tim and her father crazy over wedding plans. Like any bride to be she wanted her wedding day to be perfect in every way so each spare minute was spent on the details. Tim did what most men do when faced with this situation and pretty much stepped aside and let Jenny do it all. He wanted to help if he could but it just seemed like he would be in the way. He spent his spare time working on the house, sprucing it up as best he could so it would be a little nicer for when Jenny came there to live.

Jonathan promised Jenny the wedding of her dreams and it all started with choosing just the right place to have the reception. He suggested the country club as well as Vista Point Center at the Naval Base but she didn't like either idea. The wedding was eight months away when they started looking but a few places she actually liked were already booked solid. Jonathan finally had an idea and called the manager at The Cove down in Sandbridge. They weren't equipped to handle a large wedding party but Jonathan told him he would arrange for tents and all the equipment to be brought in for a beachfront wedding and reception. Once he knew the plan could work he anxiously proposed it to Jenny and she was thrilled with the idea.

Jenny and her father went to see the manager at The Cove and worked out a menu, complete with tons of seafood as well as prime rib. Jonathan could see the dollar signs adding up but this was for his only daughter and he wanted her to have the best. The manager, Charles, showed them where they could have tents put up for the reception. Jenny especially liked that they would have the ocean as the backdrop to the most important night of her life, not to mention it was her favorite restaurant.

Jonathan made all of the arrangements to have the tents, complete with dance floor, delivered and set up for the wedding. Jenny and Donna dealt with the details like picking out a gown, invitations and the like. When Jenny found the perfect wedding dress she cringed when she saw the price tag. She told her mom she could never afford a dress so expensive and Donna told her not to worry. She wanted to buy it for Jenny and she had to admit the dress was absolutely perfect. Jenny hugged her mother and Donna could see something in her daughter's eyes she barely recognized. It was as if she looked through a mirror to the past, picturing herself when she was planning her own wedding with nothing but happiness and excitement in her eyes.

When it came time to handle the invitations Jenny had a huge list of people to invite. Donna told her to try to keep it down a little but she knew her daughter would want to include everyone she could. In the end she had a list of about 300 friends and family, not including people her father might want to invite. Donna asked about Tim's friends and family and Jenny told her he had told her he didn't have any family and really only had two friends. Donna told her that was so sad, adding "Well, he will be part of our family in a few months, won't he?" Jenny agreed and said Tim was the only person she needed in her life to be the happiest woman alive.

Jenny and Tim had dinner at a little diner downtown one evening and Jenny asked him about who would be his best man. Tim told her he hadn't even thought about that yet and she reminded him the tuxes had to be rented soon. "Tim asked "What do you think your dad would say if I asked him to be my best man? He has only known me for a few months now so would that be strange?" Jenny thought it was a wonderful idea and couldn't imagine a better way for her father to be more involved with their special day than that. That left Harry and Dave as groomsmen so the sad truth was both sides of the aisle would be occupied by Jenny's family and friends.

Jonathan was very curious as to why Jenny called and asked him to come over to Tim's house late one evening. She had simply told him they wanted to talk to him about something, with no hint about the subject whatsoever. He had never been inside Tim's house, although he had snooped around in the garage months ago. As he pulled up he thought Tim's house didn't look like much from the outside, in need of new siding or at the least a fresh coat of paint. The neighborhood wasn't a bad one, but Jonathan knew it wasn't quite what Jenny had always been accustomed to. He couldn't help but wonder how she would be able to adjust to the change.

Tim answered the door and greeted Jonathan, asking him to come into the living room. Jenny stood up and hugged her father, whispering in his ear "Please say you will do it for me Daddy." Jonathan was puzzled, wondering what in the world Jenny wanted him to do. He thought "I'm taking care of the entire wedding so what else does she want me to do?" Jenny told her dad she wanted to show him around the house before they talked, leaving him curious for a little longer. Jenny excitedly showed him through the house, quick to point out each thing that Tim had worked on recently. Jonathan had to admit, Tim had done a good job from what he could see. The house was nice inside with new paint throughout along with new flooring in the kitchen and bathroom.

Finally they finished the home tour, as Jonathan referred to it, and they all sat down to talk. Jonathan was completely blindsided when Tim asked him to be his best man but he actually felt honored that this kid would want him to do that. He thought to himself how sad it was that Tim had no close friends or family so how could he say no? After all, he knew there was no way in Hell he could say no to his little girl. Jenny was always his greatest achievement and since the divorce she was everything he had left in life besides the navy. He thought "The navy isn't going to be around much longer either at my age" and he had no idea how he would fill the void. Jonathan accepted the invitation to be best man and Jenny beamed with excitement, feeling blissful like she had never known.

Jenny left with her dad, asking him to drop her off at her place on his way home. They talked in the car about Tim and the upcoming wedding and Jonathan asked her if she was absolutely certain this was what she wanted. She cried out "Oh Daddy, I would never want anything else but this. Tim is the love of my life and I can't wait to start our life together." Jonathan could see in her eyes that she felt that more than anything and he only wanted her to be happy. If this marriage was going to accomplish that then he couldn't think of anything he would rather be a part of.

Before any of them knew it the wedding day was in their sight, with just a few days to fruition. Tim was getting nervous, waiting for something to happen to screw everything up. Good things had never happened to him throughout his life so why should he believe it would happen now? Amy was like a sister to him and she was taken away, not to mention Susie. He had loved Susie and Travis had ended that very swiftly with no regard for Tim's happiness. He wondered how Travis was going to mess the wedding up for him but had to laugh, thinking how stupid he was being since he knew Travis was gone. He thought "I'm the only person who can screw this up since I'm the only one left from that fucked up family."

Jenny wasn't worried at all about the impending wedding, just anxious to have it come true. She had never imagined feeling as happy as she did now, with the man of her dreams soon to become her husband. The only thing she wished she could change was the fact that her parents were no longer together. She was sure they still loved one another and the only thing that could make this wedding more special would be the two of them reconciling. Jenny also knew they were both far too stubborn to admit anything so there was really nothing she could do to make that happen. Jenny talked to both of her parents anyway, hoping to make them see what she thought they needed to do but it was to no avail.

The day of the wedding came soon enough and it was a beautiful day, with perfect weather in late September. Tim hadn't slept at all the night prior to the wedding, instead spending the time reflecting about where his life had come and where it was now going. He saw it as an exciting new chapter to his new life, the life that included his soon to be wife, Jenny. Life prior to meeting her was meaningless and he tried to bury that past as deeply as he could. This was the time for a brighter future with new exciting things on the horizon.

For Jenny it was different as she slept deeply, dreaming of the upcoming day and imagining what would surely be the best day of her life. Unlike Tim, most things in her life had been happy and her family was her great love rather than her worst nightmare. She envisioned the fairy tale wedding she had always dreamed of and she knew her father would make sure she got it. Jenny saw the wedding dozens of times that night, with Tim waiting for her as her dad walked her down the aisle. She awoke knowing this was the beginning of a new chapter in her life and the first chapter of the life she wanted.

Donna slept very sporadically, thinking first about Jenny's wedding and flashing back to her own years ago. The characters in her dream alternated between her and Jonathan and Jenny and Tim, intermingling in a strange sort of way. She was happy for her lovely daughter and yet felt sorry for herself and what had happened to her and Jonathan. Sure, she knew it was her own damned fault but she couldn't change the past. Instead she would have to live with her mistakes and now would hope and pray that Jenny enjoyed the same kind of love she had always felt with Jonathan.

Jonathan didn't sleep too well but for different reasons than anyone else. His dreams drifted to Detective Ames' files and his suspicions about Tim. Jonathan had gotten to know Tim fairly well, he thought, but still he felt conflicted considering the suspicion surrounding Tim in the past. He slipped into a dream about the wedding and saw Tim and Jenny happily walking down the aisle after their marriage. He sprang awake when his dream turned tragic with an image of Jenny dripping with blood, savagely beaten. Jonathan was sweating profusely when he awoke and quickly realized it was nothing more than a dream.

Chapter Thirty Five

The morning was over before she knew it, leaving Jenny more nervous than ever as she headed to the salon to have her hair done. Her best friend and maid of honor, Marcy, went to have her hair done too and Jenny was so grateful not to be alone leading up to the wedding. She could barely function at all today and she wondered how she would get through the wedding. She called her mother and Donna could tell right away Jenny was nervous. She tried to calm her down by reminding her how much she loved Tim and how everything was planned out for a perfect wedding. Jenny felt a little better after talking to her mom but she was still feeling overwhelmed.

Dave and Harry showed up at Tim's house early that afternoon, carrying the tuxes they had picked up on the way. Tim was glad to see them but he was really starting to get nervous about the wedding. They all talked about what was going on in their lives since school and it really helped Tim relax a bit. They went out for lunch and took a walk past the old campus, reflecting back to the past couple of years. Tim said "I'm really glad you guys could come for the wedding. It's great to see you both." Dave and Harry told Tim they were glad he included them and they both appreciated him letting them stay at his house after the wedding.

After the dream he went through the night before Jonathan was a little unnerved, second guessing himself about Tim. He went back over the notes he had made while reading the files about Tim, looking for anything else he may have missed. All he had were a lot of circumstantial items that might or might not give any clue as to Tim's reliability. Besides, Jonathan knew he couldn't do anything about it now, not on the day of the wedding. He would just have to keep a close eye on things as best he could until he could be certain Tim wasn't a threat.

When the guys got back to Tim's house they each got changed into their tuxes and drove to Sandbridge for the wedding. Jonathan was standing outside The Cove when they arrived and after being introduced to Dave and Harry he asked Tim to go for a walk with him. Tim thanked Jonathan for everything he was doing for them with the wedding and the reception. Jonathan told Tim he trusted him to be a good husband to Jenny, and he hoped Tim wouldn't let him down. He was trying to read Tim's reaction to everything he said and Jonathan felt like Tim had a good heart. He really felt better and pushed his dream aside as just that, nothing but a dream.

Tim asked if Jenny was there yet and Jonathan told him the women were all in the restaurant office, using it as a changing room. Jonathan noticed a look of relief on Tim's face when he learned Jenny was there. Jonathan didn't know it but Tim had been worried something would happen to ruin the day for him and Jenny. Good things never happened for him in the past and now that he was about to enjoy the best thing in his life he thought he would wake up and it would all be another stupid dream.

Donna did her best to calm Jenny down, reassuring her everything was going to go well. Jenny was worried about her makeup and whether the dress looked okay and everyone kept telling her she looked great. Jonathan knocked at the door and Donna let him in, asking him to help Jenny get over her nerves. Jonathan hugged Jenny and said "You are so beautiful Jenny, just like a princess." That seemed to help as Jenny regained control and calmed down, feeding off her father's strength. The ceremony was about to start so Donna headed out to her seat, already crying at the thought of her little girl getting married.

The music started and everyone stood up and faced up the beach where the bridesmaids and groomsmen began their walk. Tim stood there on the beach, watching nervously as his eyes caught sight of Jenny as she walked toward him. Her father escorted her to where Tim was standing and placed her hand in Tim's before taking his place as the best man. Tim realized Jenny's hands must have been as sweaty as his which made him feel more at ease. He barely heard the preacher due to his heart pounding wildly in his chest. Tim looked at Jenny and saw the most beautiful woman he had ever imagined. He knew he repeated the words of the preacher but the whole ceremony was a blur until the preacher said "I now present to you Timothy and Jennifer Gordon." The two of them kissed for what seemed like forever, as they were swept away with emotion, before walking back between the rows of guests.

They got into a horse drawn carriage for a ride along the shore, their first ride of any kind as husband and wife. When they returned to the reception there were a few pictures taken before joining everyone in the enormous tent. Jenny told Tim it was decorated perfectly and she couldn't be happier with how everything was going. After an amazing dinner the happy couple was called out to the dance floor for the traditional first dance. The song they chose was "Feel My Love" but instead of the Garth Brooks or Bob Dylan hits from years ago they chose to go with Billy Joel's version of the song. Tim quietly sang along to her as they danced which was something he hadn't done in years.

After that first dance Jonathan came over and asked Jenny to dance with him. The song he asked for was "Unforgettable" with Natalie Cole singing her father's infamous song. They danced for the first time in so many years, since Jenny was a little girl and Jonathan had to choke back a few tears as he saw his little girl all grown up in his arms. Tim had made his way to Donna and the two of them were dancing across the floor, making Jenny smile when she saw it. Jenny whispered to her father "Please ask Mom to dance with you so I can see both my parents dance at my wedding." Jonathan had seen the anger toward Donna wane over the years but this was still a huge request on Jenny's part.

Of course Jonathan had agreed to ask Donna to dance but she declined at first until Jonathan told her Jenny insisted. Tim and Jenny were dancing again when she saw her parents come to the dance floor. She smiled and Tim had to turn around to see what it was that provoked it. He smiled at her and asked "You aren't playing Miss Matchmaker are you?" Jenny just smiled, looking at him with the most innocent looking eyes he had ever seen. He knew better though because she had always talked about how she wished her parents would get back together.

Jonathan and Donna danced as requested but there were no sparks bringing them back to the past. Actually they both felt something but neither of them would admit it. Jonathan was too proud to admit it and Donna was too scared to, knowing how much she had hurt Jonathan. She wished she could go back and change everything but she couldn't and that guilt would forever be at the forefront of her mind. The dance, though somewhat awkward, reminded them both of what had been lost but that was all either of them was prepared to admit.

Jenny thought the entire reception was "Unforgettable" to use her father's song choice and she felt the night was absolutely perfect, as her father had promised. She and Tim had turned a page in the book of life and it was everything she could have hoped for. If tonight was any example of what was awaiting them she knew the best was yet to come. As the reception wound down the newlyweds danced their last dance of the night, with Tim holding Jenny tightly in his arms, telling her how happy he was. They both thought this was the best night of their lives as they heard the music drift away, much like the moonlight they had been enjoying on the beach.

Chapter Thirty Six

After a few nights away in the Poconos Tim and Jenny returned home, together for the first time in what was now their house. Tim and Jenny both felt like they were living a dream, hoping nothing would wake them from their happiness. They both had to make adjustments since they were now sharing a home and a life. It wasn't always easy but they were both more than willing to make sacrifices for each other. Working together they were able to adapt readily to merge their lives together.

Jonathan kept a watchful eye on things for a while where Tim was concerned but his concerns faded over time. He saw Tim treated Jenny like a queen and never saw anything to make him worry again. Jonathan instead found himself thinking about Donna and how they used to be happy like Tim and Jenny. He never admitted it to Donna but he blamed himself for everything that happened in their marriage. He knew it was the time away that contributed to her having an affair at all. Jonathan also admitted to himself that he had been so wrapped up in his career that he didn't spend enough time with Donna.

The first year of marriage flew by for the young couple and as their anniversary approached Tim suggested they have Jenny's parents over for dinner. She told him it was a great idea and after calling them they both agreed to come. "I can't believe it's been a year already" Tim said. Jenny agreed and added that she had something she needed to talk about. She said "I know we talked about waiting to have kids but I think I'm pregnant." Tim asked her if she was sure, wondering how that could happen with the precautions they took. She told him she used one of those home test kits but was going to the doctor the next day to be certain. Jenny asked Tim if he was mad and he insisted he wasn't, saying he couldn't wait to have kids. Jenny told him she was glad to hear that but she sensed Tim was holding something back.

Tim went to the doctor with Jenny and the tests confirmed she was indeed two months pregnant. The doctor gave her a bunch of literature about pregnancy and prenatal health. He also referred her to an obstetrician so she would be well taken care of. Tim told Jenny he was excited but he really wasn't sure how he felt about having a child. He worried about his family's sociopathic tendencies and didn't want to bring a child into the world if there was any chance in his mind that it was hereditary. Sure, he had been able to live normally for the past couple of years, but he still worried.

Jenny told Tim she wanted to wait and tell her parents about the baby at their anniversary dinner. Jenny secretly thought maybe having a grandchild would push her parents back together again. She and Tim went to the store to buy everything they needed for dinner. Tim had offered to cook dinner but Jenny wanted to show her parents she could actually cook these days. She felt like she had come a long way in that department and Tim had to agree. After all, he had gained about ten pounds since they got married.

The day of their anniversary Tim had a small wrapped box sitting on the kitchen table when Jenny came down for coffee. She pulled a package of her own out from her purse and handed it to Tim. "You open your gift first" Tim said. Jenny didn't hesitate and opened the box, revealing a pair of diamond earrings. She told Tim they were beautiful and told him to open his gift. He opened the gift and pulled out a really nice watch and Jenny told him to read the inscription on the back. It read "To Tim, the best husband and father, Love Always, Jenny". Tim told her it was the nicest thing he ever got and he meant every word of it.

Dinner smelled good as Tim was cleaning up in the living room in preparation for Jenny's parents coming over. Jenny was baking a huge pan of lasagna and cutting up vegetables for tossed salad when her father came to the door. Tim let him in and Jonathan handed him a bottle of wine which made Tim smile, recalling the first time he and Jenny had that disgusting wine. Jonathan shook Tim's hand as he gave him a card for their anniversary. Jenny came out and her dad hugged her tightly, telling her happy anniversary. Tim handed her the wine and card and she thanked her father for both.

Donna soon joined them and, like Jonathan she handed them a card for their anniversary as she arrived. After exchanging pleasantries they sat down to dinner as Tim and Jenny brought everything in from the kitchen. Her mother told Jenny the lasagna was fantastic and her father barely spoke as he downed his third portion. Jenny was pretty proud of herself and she could tell both her parents really enjoyed the dinner. Jenny had declined a glass of wine when her father offered, just saying she had to get up early in the morning.

At her parents' insistence they opened the cards and were shocked to find $500 in each of them. Tim told them they really didn't have to get them anything and said that they only invited them over for a little celebration. Jenny agreed and told her mom and dad that they shouldn't have given them such generous gifts. She thought this was the perfect time to surprise them with the big news so Jenny told her parents they wanted to talk to them. Jenny said "Mom and Dad, we're having a baby!" and her father sported a grin that ran from ear to ear. Her mother asked "When, how, are you kidding? Oh my God, I can't believe it!" They were both really excited, Jenny could tell that.

Jonathan said "Whatever you kids need just let me know. Having a baby can be expensive and there is so much to do to get ready." Tim, wanting to be the strong one, told him they would be okay but Jenny knew it was his pride showing. They all talked about what was in store and Jonathan said he could help Tim get the second bedroom ready for the baby. Tim admitted to himself he didn't know a damned thing about what to do for a baby so he accepted Jonathan's offer.

Over the next few months they worked on the room, painting and putting furniture together. Before they knew it there was a fully equipped room, fit for a new little girl or boy. Since Jenny didn't want to know which they were having Jonathan opted for a neutral color with a lot of cheerful accents. Donna gave them the crib Jenny used when she was little and her parents both bought a lot of other things. When it was done the room was everything Jenny could have dreamed of and she was getting excited for the day to come.

Spring was a time of rebirth of things that had been dormant through the winter and now Jenny thought spring will be the perfect time to welcome her child into the world. Tim had become more excited, yet nervous about the idea of becoming a father. That was something Jenny could see herself but she knew Tim was going to be a great father. It was early April when Jenny knew it was time to go to the hospital. She yelled for Tim and he seemed like a madman, running through the house grabbing things as he went. He almost forgot the most important thing before getting back out of the car and helping Jenny into the passenger seat.

The trip to the hospital was absolutely frightening for Jenny, with Tim weaving in and out of traffic. She kept telling him it wasn't going to happen that quickly but Tim didn't want to risk a thing. He was the typical new father, consumed with emotion and excitement with rationality temporarily unavailable. All he knew was he had to get her to the hospital before anything happened. Jenny thought it was pretty strange that she had to calm him down as she was getting ready to go through childbirth.

Jonathan and Donna were both at the hospital before Tim got Jenny there. Jenny thought, "Thank God they are here to get Tim through this whole thing." The nurse rushed her to delivery just in time and with no hesitation their baby girl came into the world. Once they got the baby cleaned up she was brought over to Jenny and she got to hold her child for the first time. Jenny cried as she looked at the tiny treasure in her arms and she handed their daughter over to Tim. He didn't know what to do so a nurse helped show him how to cradle the baby in his arms. He held her like she was a fragile little toy, afraid to relax his grip in any way. Tim and Jenny had picked out names for either a boy or girl and Jenny held the baby again, saying "Hello Jessica Ann."

Chapter Thirty Seven

Tim drove Jenny and Jessica home from the hospital and got them settled in. As he put Jessica into her crib he could see how much she resembled Jenny. With both of them sleeping Tim went for a walk, thinking about being a father. It was something he never thought would happen, something he was so unsure about. He walked for a long time, barely aware of his surroundings while thinking about his own childhood. Finally Tim realized he was home, unsure how long ago he got there. He thought to himself "God, please don't let it all start again; not now of all times."

Jenny noticed Tim looked a little pale and asked if he was feeling all right. He lied and told her he was just a little tired after spending all that time at the hospital. Jenny told Tim he should go upstairs and take a nap but he insisted he would be just fine. The truth was he didn't want to sleep for fear of that damned cycle of dreams to start again. He wondered if he really was just tired and was worrying over nothing.

Jonathan had to leave on a six month tour to the Persian Gulf the next day so Jenny took Jessica down to the base to see him off while Tim was working. "I'm really glad Jessica was born before I shipped off but I'm going to miss the first six months of her life" said Jonathan. Jenny promised to email plenty of pictures so he could see her grow up while he was away. Jenny said "You should just retire and you could be around Jessica all the time." Jonathan told her he had been thinking about that but certainly couldn't have abandoned his ship right before heading to the Middle East. "Besides, what would I do with all of my free time?" he asked. They said their goodbyes and Jonathan hugged Jenny and Jessica before watching them walk away.

When Jenny got home she expected to find Tim waiting for them, but he wasn't there yet. Jessica was sleeping so she put her in the bassinet in the dining room while she got dinner started. After putting a casserole in the oven Jenny called Tim on his cell phone but after four rings it went to voice mail. Jenny left the message "Hi Honey, call me when you get this." Tim didn't call back after another twenty minutes, making Jenny worry even more. Just as she was reaching for the phone to call him again Tim walked in the back door. Jenny ran to him and asked "Where have you been? I was so worried about you." Tim looked at her as if he didn't understand and asked "Don't you remember, I had to work today?" She told him he was two hours late and he looked at his watch and realized she was right. Tim made up a story that he thought he had told her he had to work late but he honestly had no idea where he had been.

Jenny saw the surprise in Tim's eyes when he looked at his watch but she didn't want to push him too much. He seemed like he was on edge the past few days and she was very worried about him. Jenny was afraid Tim was sick in some way, becoming forgetful and all. She thought at least the weekend was coming up so he could rest before he had to go back to work. She reasoned he might just be overwhelmed about becoming a father so soon.

Saturday found Tim sleeping in until almost noon, something he hadn't done since he was a kid. He got up and Jenny and Jessica were gone and there was a note on the coffeemaker that said Jenny had gone to her mom's house. Tim had a couple of cups of coffee and went to meet Jenny at her mom's. Maybe he was imagining it but Tim felt like he was on display when he walked into Donna's house. They both stopped talking and turned to look at him. Neither of them said a word, making Tim feel a little strange.

Finally Donna walked over and hugged him, saying "It's so nice to see you Tim." Tim told her it was great to see her as well but still wondered what she and Jenny had been talking about when he walked in. He had no idea Jenny had been talking to her mother about him and how he seemed so stressed lately. He knew he had to shake this whole thing about his past, bury it yet again before it buried him. Tim wasn't that man anymore or at least he didn't think he was. His life changed when he met Jenny and now it almost seemed like the whole thing was a tease, making him think he could be normal.

Tim fought himself for all he was worth, trying to stay on top of things as best he could. He had started feeling like he was being drawn down that path, that path of self destruction he had visited before. He knew if he got sucked all the way in there was no hope for him or his family. He didn't trust himself and he knew nobody else should trust him either. Tim knew who he really was and unless he could push his true self back into the past it wouldn't be good. What he knew most was he was tired, that he couldn't continue down this road without consequences.

Over the next few months Tim did his best to squelch his worries so things would at least seem normal. It worked for the most part but Tim had started having that damned dream again, experiencing glances at that indistinguishable person who he figured was the key to everything. He thought "Was it my mother, my father or maybe it was the God Damned Tooth Fairy that shoved me and Travis underwater?" He wondered why the hell he couldn't remember or couldn't figure out who was responsible for all of these screwed up memories and it was really ticking him off.

Tim almost never slept lately and even though Jessica was just nearing six months he thought she probably slept better than he did. Jenny had seen the changes in Tim but tried not to let them bother her. He just seemed so distant and disconnected from his surroundings and she wondered why. She knew Tim was always a quiet and shy kind of person but now he was often dazed. Jenny looked back and could see things started to change when Jessica was born. She wondered why that would have this kind of impact on Tim, thinking it could just be the stress of fatherhood.

When Tim got home from work one night Jenny asked him to give Jessica a bath while she got dinner ready. He took Jessica upstairs and ran the water to fill the tub, making sure it wasn't too hot. He helped Jessica climb into the tub and gave her a little plastic boat to play with. Jessica sat there happily splashing in the tub while Tim bathed her and even washed her hair. He reached back to grab a towel and when he turned back around Jessica had fallen back in the water, struggling to sit up. Tim frantically grabbed her and she coughed a little but at least she was okay. Tim didn't even realize he had screamed but Jenny heard it and had come running upstairs. "What's wrong Tim? What happened?" she asked.

Tim told her he turned for a second and Jessica had slipped underwater. Jenny held Jessica and could see she was perfectly fine but Tim looked white as a ghost. Jenny told Tim that Jessica was okay and he didn't have to worry. Tim wasn't making any sense to Jenny, apologizing incessantly for what she thought was no apparent reason. She said "Tim, just calm down already. Nothing bad happened and you are acting crazy!" Tim looked at her with disbelief, wondering how she could say that. He just shook his head, ran downstairs and out the back door, not even knowing where he was going. He walked, even ran, toward nowhere in particular with his mind and heart racing.

Tim roamed aimlessly, thinking about what was going on with him lately. He felt like he was reliving those times in his childhood that he barely could remember, the ones he wished he could completely forget. The truth was he didn't have a clue what happened tonight because he lost control. When he turned and looked in the tub he thought he was looking at Travis struggling in the water, not Jessica. He felt reality slipping away again as it had so many times in his life. He was afraid of what could happen next, of what he was capable of. Tim made his way home and apologized to Jenny, telling her he was just stressed out lately with work. She told him it was okay but the truth of the matter was that she was worried about Tim.

The next few days seemed to spiral out of control for Tim and Jenny as he continued down that path of confusion. She saw the man she loved going through so much turmoil yet she couldn't help him unless he confided in her. Instead he pretended like nothing was wrong even though she could see there was. Jenny felt helpless against an enemy she couldn't even see, the one Tim was wrestling with in his mind. If only she had known what the result would be when the past collided with the present in Tim's world.

Chapter Thirty Eight

In his dreams Tim found himself back in the tub every night, being tortured over and over by the same faceless monster. Sometimes he saw Travis in the dream alongside him and other times he was alone. He desperately wanted to regain control like he had enjoyed for the past couple of years. He was doing his best to hide his emotions and fears from Jenny but he could see in her eyes she was concerned. He thought about her and Jessica and knew he needed to get his crap together somehow for them. Tim struggled to manage doing the everyday things in life, worrying instead about what was happening to him inside.

Jenny was returning to work and Donna now was more than happy to watch Jessica while Jenny and Tim worked. Tim dropped her off that Monday morning and Donna couldn't help but see the exhaustion that was apparent on his face. She thought back to how Jenny had described being worried about Tim seeming to be stressed out. She figured this was a good sign of just that and tried talking to Tim, saying "You seem tired Tim; is everything okay?" He told her Jessica was keeping him up all night but Donna recalled Jenny telling her how nice it was that Jessica was sleeping all night for weeks now. Donna didn't want to push Tim so she just let it go at that, wondering what was really eating at Tim so badly that he apparently didn't sleep much.

Tim called off work that day, knowing Jenny wouldn't be home, so he could go there and try to figure out what the Hell he was going through. He went down to the cellar and looked around, remembering the torture chamber he had uncovered. Tim was looking for clues to help him understand more of his past, something that would hopefully set him free again. It was all so empty but Tim kept looking in everyplace he could, finally finding a crevice in the wall to the crawl space at one end of the cellar. He shined his flashlight through the crack in the wall and saw a metal box.

Tim climbed up on a ladder and he was able to reach over the top of the wall and pulled the metal box out. He anxiously carried it over to the work table and tried to open it. The latch was so rusted it took some doing but Tim was finally able to look inside. Opening the lid he found a stack of papers and folders which he quickly pulled out so he could take a look. Tim was surprised to see pictures of him and his brother when they were little along with some of his father. What really shocked him was seeing pictures of him and his mother, both with a huge letter X running through them. There was also a note written under each picture reading "Goodbye Brother and Goodbye Mother."

This told Tim the box had to be Travis's and he had obviously planned to kill them both. He thought "You never got to me Travis because I got to you first, and dear old Mom fell down the stairs after you were long gone." There were also notes, handwritten by Travis that detailed the torture he endured. It was a sobering moment for Tim to see that but he didn't know how it could help him. He continued looking at his findings, spotting an envelope with his name on it at the bottom of the pile of papers. Tim opened it and found a single page, saying "You think you are better than me but you are just like me. If you are reading this then you are still in denial but the only reason you avoided it for so long is because that bitch of a mother protected you from all the torture I put up with. You always thought you could run from who you are but by now you probably know you can't." It went on and on, ramblings mostly of what Tim thought were proof Travis had been totally mad.

Tim had hoped for more when he found that box, but instead he was a bit shaken by the truth he saw in Travis's rant. Tim had long ago become just like Travis which was exactly what their father had been, a psychopath. Tim had refused to believe that he couldn't control the urges that consumed his brother years ago but now he knew better. He wondered what was to become of Jessica, whether she would be doomed as he had been. Tim wanted to fight for her sake, and for Jenny, but he didn't know how. He thought they would both be better off without him but he couldn't fathom being apart.

Jenny tried talking to Tim so she could help him through whatever was troubling him but he insisted nothing was wrong. She was really getting worried about him, thinking he was suffering from depression. Jenny even tried to convince Tim to see someone to talk about what was going on but he flatly refused. He was so abrupt with his response and shot her a look of contempt that Jenny dropped the subject. She sent her dad an email explaining what was going on and his response surprised her. He told her to be careful around Tim but he didn't elaborate. She wondered why in the world her father would think she should worry about Tim. After all, she was afraid for Tim but she had never been afraid of him.

Jonathan was worried after receiving Jenny's email but there wasn't anything more tangible than a gut feeling. Of course he knew some interesting things that had happened in Tim's life but he had not seen any reason to believe Tim was responsible for any of it. He now found himself second guessing his decision to keep his findings to himself but he couldn't change it now. He wished the Enterprise would be returning back to Norfolk sooner but with one more week of maneuvers he wouldn't make it back for three weeks. He thought about asking the admiral for permission to fly home but he knew the reason wouldn't seem like an emergency. He thought "I need to return to the states immediately because my daughter thinks her husband is depressed so I think he might hurt her" would come across as the ranting of a lunatic.

Tim kept thinking about what Travis had left for him and it troubled him more and more as time went on. His brother had been right about one thing because he was indeed trying to run from the things that surrounded him, pretending the past didn't apply to him. All he could think was his damned family had sucked him into this pit of desperation and he had to claw his way out. Tim headed down to the campus area to get some pot from one of the local dealers, something he hadn't done in quite some time. He only hoped it would help like it had before so he could subdue the pressure building from within.

Jenny came home and found Tim appearing quite a bit calmer than he had in a while but she felt something wasn't quite right. She didn't know what it was but Tim seemed almost too calm for his own good and she couldn't help wonder why. It was as if someone flipped a switch since the day before but that didn't seem possible. Jenny figured she shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth and just accepted it for what she hoped was the beginning of an end to the depression.

Jenny had to admit things seemed normal over the next couple of weeks, with Tim acting more like he used to though he seemed subdued. She thought things were definitely turning around again and was grateful to see things return to normal, at least as far as she could see. Jenny emailed her father and told him things seemed to have relaxed greatly so he felt very relieved. She settled down herself and finally felt at ease after weeks of feeling like she was sitting on pins and needles.

It was the night before her father's ship was due back in Norfolk that Jenny told Tim she was going out to get something for her dad's birthday. His birthday was a few weeks earlier and she had completely forgotten until that evening. Tim asked her if she wanted him to go along but she told him to stay home with Jessica and she would make a quick trip to the store. The mall would be closed at nine so she only had an hour to get there and pick something out. Jessica was sleeping when Jenny left and Tim, feeling the effects of the joint he had smoked, fell asleep as well.

Tim was startled awake by the sound of Jessica screaming at the top of her lungs. As he stood up he realized he wasn't on the couch where he had fallen asleep. He was in bed though he didn't recall going upstairs so he just assumed it was because of the buzz he had from the pot. He ran into Jessica's room and calmed her down and once she was settling back to sleep he went downstairs. It wasn't until he had sat down on the couch that Tim realized it was nearly midnight. Not wanting to wake Jessica again, he went through the house looking for Jenny. There was no sign of her and Tim looked outside to see if her car was there. Her car was in the driveway but when Tim checked the car was empty except for her purse and a package that were sitting on the passenger seat.

Tim looked quickly in the garage, calling Jenny's name as he did. There was no sign of her there so Tim wondered where in the world Jenny could be. He saw her cell phone sticking out of her purse so he couldn't try calling her. With only a sliver of a moon visible it was so dark Tim really couldn't see. He quickly grabbed a flashlight and started looking around outside, afraid of what might have happened to Jenny. He was about to go in and call police when Tim's flashlight revealed something lying next to the bulkhead door to the cellar. Tim cried out as he realized it was Jenny who was lying in front of him, blood covering much of her body. He frantically checked for a pulse, but somehow knew he wouldn't find one. Lights began pouring from every neighbor's porch lights as Tim's desperate cries echoed through the air.

Chapter Thirty Nine

Tim was still holding Jenny in his arms when police arrived at the house, his cries drowning out poor Jessica who was awakened by the noise. Paramedics also came and confirmed what Tim already knew, that Jenny was dead. The woman he loved was gone, taken from him as he slept. Tim couldn't control his emotions, feeling as if he had lost everything he cherished. Suddenly he heard Jessica crying and realized there was one thing left in his life that was worth more than a single breath.

The officers let him go by to get to Jessica and he brought her downstairs, holding her close. He wanted to shelter Jessica from everything but he had to bring her down to comfort her. The last thing Tim wanted to do was make a call to Donna and give her the news but he knew he had to do it. She heard Tim say it but she was so stunned she didn't comprehend that Jenny was dead. Donna got dressed and drove over to Tim and Jenny's house to see what had happened.

As she turned onto the street Donna could see the blinding glare from the flashing lights of police cars and ambulances. Suddenly the full scope of things dawned on her and she relived Tim's call, actually hearing his words as they pierced her heart. She thought it simply could not be true yet when she approached the house she saw her only daughter as they zipped up the body bag over her once beautiful face. At that moment Donna felt as if life exited her body with a sudden force, leaving her an empty shell of a woman, of a mother. "God, please don't let it be true" Donna pleaded between tears but her eyes told her she could not be granted this request.

Tim was sitting at the picnic table, holding Jessica and rocking her in his arms to calm her down. Donna went over and saw a look of total emptiness in Tim's eyes, something she felt herself. She asked Tim what happened to Jenny and Tim could barely speak through his sobs. He told Donna he didn't know what happened, that Jenny must have been attacked as she got out of her car. "All I could see was blood when I found her. I should have gone with her to the mall." Tim said. Donna wrapped her arms around Tim and Jessica, crying uncontrollably as she tried to comfort them.

A police officer came over to them, saying "I'm sorry for your loss Mr. Gordon, ma'am. Sir, are you up to answering a few questions?" Tim went with the policeman and told him everything he could about what happened. He told Tim the receipt showed she paid for her purchase a few minutes before nine so unless she stopped somewhere else she would have been home about fifteen minutes later. He asked Tim what he was doing between nine and midnight, when he found the body. Tim explained that he had been sleeping until his daughter's crying woke him. The officer jotted everything down and told Tim again that he was sorry.

It was after sunrise by the time everyone was gone from the house. Tim was exhausted and Jessica was sleeping but he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep himself. He couldn't believe Jenny was gone and he knew he would wrestle with his conscience for not hearing her when she was attacked. He thought she must have screamed and he just slept right through it. He blamed himself for getting high and basically passing out. If he hadn't he thought he would have been able to save her.

Donna got word of Jenny's death to Jonathan the night before and now she was on her way to meet him when the ship docked. As she drove through the security gate at the base the guard said "I'm very sorry to hear about your daughter Mrs. Stevens." Donna was surprised word was out so quickly but with Jonathan being so well liked on base she thought she shouldn't be. She was standing at the dock looking out at nothing in particular, seeing images of Jenny's battered face just before they had zipped the bag closed.

Jonathan was usually the last person off the ship when it docked but this time he was the first. Word of Jenny's death had spread through the crew like wildfire overnight and they lined up on either side of Jonathan as he walked on deck, saluting him out of respect. Donna didn't even see him as he walked up, her vision clouded by tears and visions of Jenny's dead body. He asked her what happened, unrealistically holding on to a scant chance that the message he received wasn't true. He realized the moment he saw Donna what he already knew in his heart, that Jenny was gone.

Donna looked so empty and sad and there was something about the genuine vulnerability that made him view her in a whole new light. It was the look of desperation that made him reflect back to a time when things were different, when they were a happy family. Most of all it took him back to a time when his little girl was still here, full of life. Jonathan wished he had reacted differently years ago when Donna had a brief affair with his best friend. He thought it was a strange time to think it, but it suddenly dawned on him how much he still loved Donna. For every time Jenny tried her best to push the two of them back together it was ironic how he felt that wall between him and Donna dissolving now that she was gone.

Jonathan tried to comfort Donna, seeing nothing but emptiness in her eyes. He imagined he must look the same way because he felt like his life had been sucked out of him. As much as he wanted his life to be restored to a happier time he knew that couldn't happen. He couldn't even imagine how life could go on without Jenny so he knew it must be even harder for Donna. As much as he might try he also knew he couldn't bring Donna back from the dark place she was in. He told her they needed to get through this because Jenny would want them to and they had Jessica who would need them now, more than ever.

After he had found out what happened Jonathan had been thinking about all of the things he had learned about Tim before he and Jenny got married. He was already blaming himself for not putting a stop to the wedding, as if he could have. Jonathan wished he had talked to the Admiral and come home earlier, second guessing how he handled everything. He felt like he had allowed Tim to sway his gut feeling about his involvement in the killings in his past. Jonathan would never forgive himself for that but he knew he had to make sure he was held accountable this time.

Jonathan tried telling Donna about his suspicion about Tim but she didn't want to hear it. He told her all the things he had learned before the wedding but he could tell she thought he was way off base. He told Donna he was fooled by Tim and that made it his fault this had happened. Jonathan took her home in her own car before catching a cab back to the base to get his car. The last thing he told her as she went inside her house was that he would make sure the truth came out about Jenny's murder.

Chapter Forty

Tim was struggling with taking care of Jessica as he felt himself plunging deeper into an abyss of misery and uncertainty. He had been having trouble sleeping for weeks now but since Jenny was killed it was only getting worse. Tim's boss told him to take as much time as he needed before returning to work and he wondered if that would help or hurt as he tried to get through it all. It seemed that every time he did manage to fall asleep that too familiar dream wrapped itself around his mind, teasing him with a distorted view of the past.

Donna had happily agreed to keep Jessica for a while until Tim felt he could handle it. She knew Tim had to be going through even more than she was herself, especially being left as a single father of a young girl. Donna didn't believe for a minute that Tim had killed Jenny, not after seeing him that night she died. Tim was completely incapacitated by grief that night, helpless as a child in every way. That was not the picture of a sadistic killer Jonathan tried to paint of Tim. She drove over and picked up Jessica along with plenty of clothes and toys and got her settled in at home.

Jonathan headed straight to Chief Hartman's office the next day to find out what was going on in the investigation of Jenny's murder. "Jon, I'm so sorry about Jenny" Brian said when Jonathan walked in his office. Jonathan said "Thanks Brian, but let's get straight to the point; tell me what you know so far about what happened." The Chief told him what they knew, which was basically nothing to speak of. Jonathan told him he knew damned well Tim did this and demanded Brian do something about it. Brian said "Jon, let me tell you this, if you had seen that kid when we got to the scene you would know he couldn't have been responsible. He was in shock and so confused about what had happened. I was there myself and I'm telling you this was not a man who just killed his wife."

Jonathan didn't care what Brian thought because his gut was telling him Tim was the one and by God he planned to expose him. He decided to do his own investigation and started by staking out Tim's house. He found a spot to hide behind a tree in Tim's backyard so he could see anyone coming and going. Tim left the house the next morning and Jonathan followed him to the funeral home where Tim made plans for Jenny's funeral and visitation. Jonathan was starting to wonder why Tim was just sitting at home doing nothing each day as he watched him.

Tim sat in his house staring at the walls, trying to piece together memories that came to him in tiny bits. Between these memories of long ago he also saw flashes of Jenny and their life together, longing to have her back by his side. This was something he could never have except for the brief time he would see her before the burial the next day. He wasn't looking forward to tomorrow, a day he thought would only multiply the grief he already felt. Tim looked in the mirror and didn't recognize the man looking back at him. Instead he saw that same faceless figure of his dreams, an unrecognizable person who haunted him for years.

Late that night Tim was sleeping when he sprang awake suddenly, jarred by something in his dream. He thought he had been asleep for some time but a quick glance at the clock proved him wrong. He knew he had seen something in his dream but he couldn't remember what it was. Tim tried to close his eyes and bring back that picture, the same damned figure but he was sure he had gotten a glimpse of the face. He tried to recreate the vision but he couldn't pull it from the depths of his mind, buried right back where it had been forever.

Jonathan called Donna the morning of the funeral and offered to take her and Jessica along with him. She graciously accepted, thankful to have someone to lean on in what would be the hardest day of her life. Jonathan told Donna he was glad she was taking care of Jessica and offered to help in any way he could. Before he could say anything about Tim Donna told him she didn't want to hear about his suspicions today of all days. Jonathan told her he wouldn't do or say anything the day of the funeral, knowing it was going to be difficult on everyone already.

Tim got ready for the funeral, shaving four days of growth and picking out a suit to wear. He wanted this day to be over in one way but in another way he knew this would make it final and he never wanted to admit Jenny was gone. Tim knew he was struggling with reality but that was something at which he had years of experience. He put his emotions aside or at least tried to, for this one day so Jenny could have the respectful exit from life that she deserved.

Tim pulled into the parking lot at Graves Funeral Home, suddenly realizing the double meaning of the name. He thought he heard himself chuckle before coming back to his senses. As he got out of the car Jonathan and Donna pulled in and parked beside him. It was the first time Tim had seen Jonathan since Jenny died and the look he received was a stern one. Tim wasn't sure why Jonathan was looking at him that way but he could feel the tension in the air and it wasn't because of the funeral.

Donna also sensed it and stepped in with Jessica who sliced through the tension with a smile that could only be described as angelic. Tim swept her off her feet and she held onto him for dear life, so happy to see her dad. Donna asked Tim how he was holding up and he told her it was so hard but he was getting better. He knew that was a lie but that was what people wanted to hear so he pretended. Tim reached out and shook Jonathan's hand and he grimaced from the power of his father-in-law's grasp. Jonathan's eyes pierced right through Tim as if he could see right through his skull and into his mind. The truth is Jonathan thinks he can do just that and he didn't like what he saw.

They were the first ones at the funeral home and went inside to prepare for the worst day of their lives. Tim took Jessica to see her mother now before everyone was there, unsure of how his little girl would react. Jessica's smile was quickly replaced with a look of confusion at first, followed by a surprisingly more adult reaction. She looked solemnly down at her mother, seemingly aware of what was happening. Jessica reached out and touched her mother's face, tears slowly streaming down her flushed cheeks. It was all Tim could do to maintain some degree of control, watching Jessica somehow come to terms with her mother's death.

Donna and Jonathan went up as well before everyone else would be surrounding them, holding onto each other as they looked down at their little girl. It was the first time Donna ever saw Jonathan cry, something that shook her more than she would have thought. She loved this man and even though they were divorced she hated seeing him seem so sad. She reached up to him, saying "I know this is hard Jon but I'm here if you need me." Jonathan told her he appreciated that and pulled her close, all the while looking at the cold dead eyes of his daughter.

When they turned around from their daughter's casket both were surprised to see Robert Madison standing there, looking at them with deep sadness. "Hello Jon, Donna" Robert said as he extended his hand to Jonathan. He hugged Donna quickly after shaking Jonathan's hand, trying to be as respectful as he could. Robert went on to say "I've missed you Jon and I have to tell you both how shocked and sorry I am about what happened to Jenny." Donna thanked Robert and Jonathan hesitated before doing the same. Robert told them once again he was sorry before feeling the need to give them both a little space.

Jonathan excused himself and followed Robert into the outer room to talk to him privately. He told Robert he forgave him for his part in the affair and could see the relief on his old friend's face. Once Jonathan got that out of the way he told Robert all about his suspicions, giving him as much detail as he could in a few minutes. Robert offered to help him uncover the truth and Jonathan gladly accepted the offer. He promised to call him once things settled down and they could formulate a plan of action. As Jonathan walked back to where Donna was sitting she smiled, glad that he had apparently reunited with Robert.

The funeral came to fruition in spite of everyone wishing it would never happen. The service was mercifully quick and the drive to the cemetery was not too far away. The final portion of the funeral was the burial, the part of the day Jenny's parents and husband dreaded most. As everyone stood watching, Jenny's casket was lowered into the ground, Jessica somehow knowingly waving goodbye to her mother. Nearly every person in the crowd noticed this and the emotion that poured through them all was overwhelming.

Jonathan drove Donna and Jessica home, neither of them talking on the way there. They were both overcome with the drama of the day, let alone the last week. Jonathan was turning to leave when Donna asked "Will you please stay for a while Jon?" Not as reluctantly as it seemed Jonathan agreed to stay and after Donna put Jessica to bed he joined her on the couch. She curled up next to him, leaning onto his chest, feeling a closeness she had missed for years. Jonathan pulled her closer, their lips finding each other in a brief moment of excitement. Although he was feeling so much Jonathan didn't push for more of a physical encounter, instead just holding Donna until they both fell asleep in each others' arms.

Chapter Forty One

A few days after Jenny was buried in the cold dark ground Jonathan went to see his friend Brian down at the police station. "Brian, I want to see the evidence you collected at my daughter's house and I won't take no for an answer." Jonathan said. Brian told Jonathan he could never comment on the evidence if he let him see it and Jonathan agreed. Brian turned over copies of all the files he had concerning Jenny's death so Jonathan had everything at his disposal. Jonathan thanked him and took everything home to take a look.

The officers had interviewed several neighbors and nobody heard anything until Tim had been crying out. There was no weapon found but investigators felt she was beaten with a round blunt object such as a baseball bat. The cuts were made with a small blade like one would find with a knife used for fishing or hunting. Jonathan was pretty sure Tim didn't fish or hunt but that didn't mean he didn't have a knife around somewhere. As for a bat there was no doubt in his mind that Tim never played sports but he figured it could be something similar in size to a bat. A search of the house found no evidence linking Tim to the killing and with no witnesses or evidence to speak of they had reached the conclusion that she had been attacked by an unknown assailant.

Now that he was sure police hadn't overlooked some key piece of evidence Jonathan decided to confront Tim directly. He knocked on Tim's door several times and was just about to give up when Tim opened it. Jonathan thought Tim looked like Hell, like he hadn't slept or shaved since the day of the funeral. Tim was surprised to see his father-in-law but opened the door wider so he could come in. The look he saw on Jonathan's face was much like the one he saw the day they buried Jenny.

Not holding back, Jonathan blurted out "What the Hell did you do to my daughter? I know all about you and your brother, the secrets you kept from everyone. You killed all those people before and now you killed Jenny so just admit it!" He went on to spell out everything in detail in Tim's past, not pausing once before he finished after several minutes. Tim was taken aback, wondering how Jonathan found out all of those things from when he was a kid. He had that deer in the headlights look, leading Jonathan to believe he was going to admit to killing Jenny.

Tim said "All right, I never brought up that I had a brother because he was a sick monster and it was easier to pretend like he was never born. I swear I didn't kill all those people before and I don't care what that detective always thought. As for Jenny, don't you think I wonder what happened? Don't you think I want to know who killed her? I passed out that night so I do blame myself but I know damned well that I didn't kill her. I couldn't do that to the only person I ever cared so much about, the only person that ever cared about me." He broke down in tears, sobbing uncontrollably and Jonathan was thrown for a second seeing how Tim reacted. Then he thought about how he had always been able to fool people with his outright lies. Jonathan was still convinced that he was right and somehow he was going to prove it. Jonathan stormed out of the house without saying a word.

He took the files back to Brian and convinced him to have officers cruise past Tim's house on a regular basis and watch for anything out of the ordinary. He called the admiral and requested a couple of extra weeks leave so he could "sort some things out". That would give him time to get to the bottom of this ordeal where Tim was concerned. He didn't see this as a vendetta but thought of it as his own penance for allowing Jenny to marry Tim in the first place.

Tim was really shaken by Jonathan's accusations and it started to make his mind race with questions. He wondered if he could have killed her that night while he was passed out. He knew he had lied to Jonathan about some of the other people who had been killed but he thought surely he couldn't have killed Jenny. Tim looked everywhere, including the room in the basement for anything that might be out of place. He was looking for any sign of missing items that could have been used to kill Jenny but he came up empty. Thankful for that he fell asleep with thoughts of Jenny alive and well running through his mind.

Like so many times before Tim sprang awake suddenly but this time instead of the typical dream this one was about Jenny. He saw her standing there taking a beating and saw her face slashed as he watched helplessly, wanting to do something to stop it. He watched the life slip from her suddenly as if someone turned off a switch, the rosy color of her skin turning white as snow in a split second. He was soaked with tears when he woke and the waterfall continued for several minutes afterward. It was like reliving the whole night over again and when he slept again it repeated itself. He felt it was his own living Hell, something he would have to endure each and every day for the rest of his life. The only question in his mind was why God would make him relive this over and over, wondering for just a minute if he really had been responsible for such a horrific act.

Jonathan went to Donna's house to see Jessica but he also wanted to talk to her about Tim. She opened the door and seeing her with Jessica actually made him smile, even in the midst of this tragedy. Here stood his beautiful granddaughter with the woman who used to be his wife, a woman with whom he had shared so many of life's highs and lows. Lord knew they were in the middle of the biggest low they could have ever imagined right now. Donna looked at him and gave him a very familiar smile, one that he had once been accustomed to.

Donna's smile quickly waned when Jonathan said "I want to talk to you about Tim." She shot back "Jonathan, I'm telling you that poor boy had nothing to do with Jenny's death so just get that idea out of your head. A mother knows and I can tell you that I know Tim loved her more than you realize and he is not capable of what you are suggesting." She knew that wouldn't slow Jonathan in the least as he chased his own ideas down but she had to try. Jonathan put that whole thing aside and stayed a while, playing with Jessica while realizing how much she reminded him of Jenny when she was that age. It made him think about how much easier things were when she was little, how he could protect her from anything with such ease. Sensing where his mind was taking him Donna reached out and pulled Jonathan to her, resting his head on her chest.

Jonathan didn't want to leave Donna's arms but he knew he had to so he made an excuse to leave. He smiled as he left, thinking about how much it reminded him of Jenny as he watched Jessica latch on to Donna's skirt, looking mischievously up at her. He thought how nice it would be if he could go back to a time like that when things were simpler and everyone was happier. One last glance toward Donna reinforced the feeling that he loved her now as much as he ever had. He couldn't tell her that but knowing it made him feel better in a time of turmoil.

Jonathan was on his way home after leaving Donna's house once Jessica had drifted off to sleep. His cell phone rang and he didn't recognize the number though he knew it was local. When he answered he heard a frantic voice from Brian telling him something was going on at Tim's house and to get over there right away. Jonathan spun the car around, squealing tires as he did, stomping on the gas to get him there as fast as he could. He pulled up alongside a squad car at Tim's place and the house itself was dark and quiet, no apparent action in the works.

Jonathan heard a voice coming from the back yard so he walked around there. He saw two officers talking over by the cellar door and announced himself so he wouldn't startle them. "Good evening sir." one of them said. "The Chief called and told me you saw something going on." Jonathan replied. The two of them proceeded to tell Jonathan about seeing someone run from the back of the house, jumping the fence to the neighbor's yard. By the time they stopped and got back there the guy was gone. He ran from the direction of the cellar so that was why they were standing there.

Jonathan asked if it was Tim and they both shook their heads as one of them said this guy was a lot stockier than him. "We knocked on every door and nobody answered so we don't know if Tim is even home." he told Jonathan. The cellar door was propped open a little and Jonathan started to open it before one of the officers stopped him. Jonathan told him he was going in there one way or another and pushed by him to reach the door handle. After making a quick call to the chief the officers followed him in to take a look.

The light hanging from the rafters was on so Jonathan was sure someone had been there. He looked around and there was practically nothing around, no boxes or anything else being stored down there. It seemed like a very dry basement so Jonathan found it odd that Tim wouldn't use it for storage. He did notice a room in the middle of the space equipped with a padlock but it was unlocked. Jonathan also saw a light shining under the bottom of the door so he reached for the doorknob. Not sure what to expect he pulled it open slowly, revealing a solitary chair with straps dangling from the arms.

As they were looking closer in the room Tim came through the door, asking what the Hell was going on. Jonathan's mind was racing with the possible reasons for this chair so he didn't respond right away. The officers told Tim they had seen someone run away from here and they just came in to make sure everything was okay. Tim told them he was sure everything was fine and that it was probably just some bum, ushering them toward the door. Jonathan shouted "What the Hell is this chair for? Were you torturing Jenny before you killed her?" Tim started to yell back but the officers pulled Jonathan out and apologized to Tim as they left. Jonathan asked the officers why they didn't do something about Tim and that chair but they explained there was no sign of anything illegal even though they agreed it was strange.

Tim was pretty upset at the fact that they were inside his cellar but he was more upset about that chair. He wondered how in the world it got there because he had emptied that room a couple of years ago. He went from feeling curious to relieved when he thought about how it would have looked if all of his father's crap was still in there. Before going in the house he broke the chair and put the pieces out by the trash.

Jonathan left as instructed by the officers but had parked a few blocks away and circled back, watching Tim throw out the chair. He didn't know what was going on but he sensed that he had rattled Tim pretty well and he was bound to slip up soon. Hidden by some large shrubs Jonathan continued his watch, finally seeing the bedroom light go off. Jonathan thought about leaving since Tim went to bed but something in his gut told him to stay. It was about an hour later that he saw Tim's light come on and through the open curtain he could see him pacing, apparently talking to himself.

Tim woke in the middle of another dream and this one left him shaken even more than usual. He walked in circles, nervously saying to himself "Come on Tim, focus and figure this out already. You must know who is in those dreams so just remember it now." He saw the face this time but it was like someone changed the channel just as the good part popped on the screen. He saw it and it was in the back of his mind this time, leaving him convinced that he knows who was behind the torture in the bathtub. He went back to sleep, hoping to see what he needed to end this nightmare once and for all.

Chapter Forty Two

With the help of Robert, Jonathan continued surveillance at Tim's house and a couple of days later he got there just as Tim was leaving. He was ready to run back to his car before realizing Tim was going for a walk. Jonathan thought that would be easier than trying to follow in a car so he was glad. He stayed about a block behind Tim, walking behind other people when he could. He wondered where in the world Tim was heading and quickly realized this guy could walk pretty fast. He thought "If I was a few years younger I'd run circles around him."

Tim finally turned to go inside a drug store and Jonathan was barely able to stay out of sight. He waited a couple of minutes before working his way to the drug store window. Peering in he saw Tim at the pharmacy counter, paying for a bottle of pills the girl at the counter handed him. Jonathan wondered what these pills would be for so he went around the corner until Tim left. He went to the same counter and said "The doctor called in a prescription for Jonathan Stevens." The girl went to look and when she turned around he quickly turned the clipboard they used for signatures so he could get a look. He saw the medication Tim signed for was Ativan before the girl came back telling him she was sorry but there was no prescription yet. He thanked her and left quickly, hoping to catch up with Tim on his way home.

Since Tim had gotten too much of a head start Jonathan didn't bother trying to catch up and instead searched the web on his phone, looking up Ativan. He learned it was a brand of medication used to treat severe anxiety, which he thought described Tim pretty well lately. Jonathan wondered if Tim had been taking that for a while as he thought back to how Jenny had described his behavior about a month ago. He decided to go home and think about what his next steps should be since Tim was likely going to be sleeping anyway.

Tim did sleep but not as well as he had hoped, taking two Ativan after he got the doctor to phone in a prescription. Of course it hadn't been a problem convincing the doctor to do so, not after losing his wife in a horrific murder. Tim had hoped the pills would relax his mind to the point that he would be able to recall dreams of repressed memories. He did fall asleep easier with the pills but there was no effect on his recollection in his dreams. When he was awake and couldn't get back to sleep Tim took four more pills, double the prescribed dose.

Asleep once again, only much deeper, Tim's dreams started much like always. It wasn't long before the person torturing him and Travis in the tub began changing from this nondescript form to an actual person. Tim's heart raced as his dream unfolded, seeing the person responsible as clear as day. It was his own father, just as his mother had led him to believe. Tim could see the very veins in the image of his father's face as his eyes stared with that same haunting look Travis had exhibited so many times. Surprisingly the dream didn't stop there, taking on new meaning when his brother was suddenly no longer in the bathtub. Just after Travis was no longer there the face became blurred again until Tim saw himself plunged again into the water. The face cleared once again, but it wasn't his father this time and realizing it was his brother shocked Tim awake.

"Oh my God, it doesn't make sense." Tim thought aloud. Thoughts were racing around in his head, smashing against his skull with every lap. He felt overwhelmed by his recollection, not sure what to think about what he dreamed. The first part merely confirmed what his mother had told him, that his father had tortured him and Travis at such a young age. It was what happened next that he didn't expect because they were both so young. Travis had taken over for their father and he could see his face with that all too familiar gaze as Travis pushed him under water again and again. Travis laughed and his eyes sparkled as he did, even as young as they had been back then. Tim thought how familiar the look on both, Travis's and their father's face was in the dream as if Travis was a reproduction of their father. They both shared that same old sadistic smirk he always seen when Travis went over to that dark place Tim could never completely understand.

The more he thought about it the more Tim thought this could have explained Travis more than ever, showing how he had learned from the sick bastard their father had been. Tim actually lost a little strange kind of respect for Travis now that he knew he was nothing more than an imitator in his younger years. At the same time Tim wondered how Travis could have already been so forceful at the ripe old age of four or five. This revelation answered some questions while creating totally new ones in Tim's mind.

There was one question mark in Tim's mind which was who he saw in his other repeated dream where he saw someone standing there but couldn't make out a face. These dreams had become such a vivid part of his everyday life for so many years that Tim could picture them with his eyes closed. Sleep didn't bring any resolution to this dream as it had the other, but Tim still hoped to find an answer to the whole thing. He just had to figure out how to make that happen as he moved forward. There had to be a reason he kept seeing this same image for so long. Tim had come to realize that dreams in his lifetime were never like other people's dreams. His dreams were memories of the past or visions of the future and he didn't know which this one might be.

Thinking about that made Tim look at it differently, thinking about the future rather than the past. He had been hung up on the assumption that it was something that happened long ago. Sometimes his dreams were guarded memories but other times he felt the dreams controlled his actions, shaping him into the person he had become. There were times it seemed that someone planted a seed in his mind and resisting it was impossible. Tim wondered where this dream could have been leading him when something occurred to him. He hadn't had this dream in quite a while; instead the old bathtub dream swirled around for weeks.

Tim's mind betrayed him at that moment, making him question whether the person in this dream all along could have been Jenny. "Could I really have killed her?" he thought to himself. Even thinking of that possibility repulsed him but he honestly didn't know what happened that night. He even wondered if he was better off not knowing. Tim reflected back to that feeling of losing control again in the weeks before Jenny was killed. He made himself a promise that if he discovered he had killed Jenny he would end his own life, for Jessica's sake.

Jonathan got another call from the police chief about something going on at Tim's house. He got over there as quickly as he could and the same two officers were out by their squad car talking. Jonathan asked what was going on and was told Tim was acting strangely, which Jonathan thought was an understatement lately. Tim was going in and out of the house and garage, throwing things out into the yard in a pile as he went. There was nothing illegal about it so the officers left while Jonathan kept an eye on Tim from across the street in his car. He had no idea what was going on but thought Tim surely must be having a breakdown of sorts.

Tim was searching for any clues of what may have happened to Jenny, particularly anything that pointed to his own involvement. He was looking for anything that may be missing as well as anything odd that he might find. The first thing he looked for was the knives he and Travis had since they were young, relieved to find them securely put away. He searched everywhere and didn't find anything incriminating or suspicious in any way. Tim decided to burn whatever he could and throw out the rest, things from his past that meant nothing to him.

As soon as Jonathan realized Tim was loading things up into the barbecue pit he knew he had to do something. He got out of his car and ran back to confront Tim, asking him what he thought he was doing. Jonathan was looking at all of the things Tim had piled up, trying to see what he was disposing of. Tim told him it was none of his business, adding he was just getting rid of old junk. Jonathan said "I know you're trying to hide something so don't think I'm going to stand here and watch you destroy evidence. I already called the police so they will be here any minute." Tim scoffed back "I'm not hiding anything at all. I'm just getting rid of a bunch of old useless junk."

Just as things were escalating out of control the sound of a siren could be heard approaching. Tim still tried to toss some gasoline onto the pile before they arrived but Jonathan grabbed the can away from him. Tim took a swing at Jonathan but he blocked that with his forearm before grabbing Tim by the arm and throwing him to the ground. Before he could get up a couple of officers were there to put a stop to things. After both told their sides of the brief fight the officers said Jonathan had no right to interfere with Tim's property. Jonathan was getting royally ticked off but it changed quickly as they also told Tim he couldn't have an open fire in the city limits due to a fire ordinance.

They told Tim to put everything back in the garage and said he would have to dispose of them another way. Jonathan pleaded with them to confiscate all of it as possible evidence but they said they had no grounds. He said "Don't you get it? He killed my daughter and you're letting him get away with it!" Tim spoke up, saying "Go ahead and look at everything if you want. I don't have a damned thing to hide and I sure as Hell didn't kill Jenny!" He watched as Jonathan and the officers looked everything over, not finding anything they could see as potential evidence. Reluctantly Jonathan agreed to leave it be and he headed home.

Wanting to gain some new perspective on his own findings Jonathan called Robert and asked him to meet for a drink down at a local pub. When Robert got there Jonathan reiterated his suspicions and told him of Tim's past, including his reservations about him from the beginning. Robert said "Jon, you can't blame yourself for this even if the kid did do it." Jonathan knew he was right but that guilt would probably be something he wrestled with for the rest of his life. When they finished talking Robert told Jonathan to call him if he needed anything else and the look he received was one of genuine gratitude.

Chapter Forty Three

Tim was glad that situation with his father-in-law was over but was feeling a little overwhelmed by one thing he didn't find. There was no sign of the old "peacemaker" as Travis had always called it. When they were about ten or eleven Tim had found a piece of wood someone had thrown out in the park. It was perfectly round and smooth, about two feet long and three inches in diameter. Travis fastened a handle to one end of it and used to carry it around, pretending to fight off imaginary attackers in the back yard. Travis always had that look about him when he was wielding his makeshift weapon, that look of a menace Tim only knew too well. Tim had hidden it from Travis many years ago, fearful he would use it on real people instead of imaginary ones. Now he had no idea what happened to it, missing from where Tim hid it so long ago.

A sickening feeling came over Tim as he wrestled with the implications of this latest turn of events. Tim was the only one who knew where the damned thing was hidden all those years, he was sure of that. He never looked at it for fear of Travis catching him and discovering where it was. That is he never did until he was getting the house ready for Jenny to move in. He had nearly thrown it away then, as he did so many other things, but something in the back of his mind convinced him to keep it. He wondered if this was one of those things he had no control over, destiny demanding he keep this weapon for later use. Suddenly the thought of what he may have done with it permeated his mind and he vomited with no warning.

Jonathan went over to Donna's house on his way home, stopping to see his granddaughter for a while. He had called Donna before going over and she could tell something was bothering him so she had asked him to come. He walked in and immediately swooped Jessica high into the air before bringing her down for a great big hug. "God she sure does remind me of Jenny when she was a little girl" Jonathan said. Donna agreed with him and walked over to him and Jessica, pulling them both in close to her. Donna said "It's time for Jessica to go to bed Jon. Would you mind running her up while I pour us both a nice glass of Chardonnay?" Of course he agreed happily and after getting her all settled in for the night he came back downstairs.

Donna was sitting on the sofa holding a glass of wine in each hand, waiting for Jonathan to join her. He thanked her as he took the glass, raising it up to hers as their eyes locked in a deep gaze for a second. For a moment Jonathan almost forgot the last 20 years, recalling a happier time sharing a glass of wine with Donna as their daughter slept upstairs. She asked him what was wrong and he told her about Tim acting strangely, not stopping until he had gotten everything out. He had expected her to shut him up but somehow she knew he needed to say it, all of it. She admitted to him that there was a small part of her that wondered if Jonathan's suspicions were warranted. She knew he always trusted his gut and she honestly couldn't remember it ever being wrong. The one time she wished it had been was when he had a feeling about her and Robert having that damned affair. She wished it had never happened but time couldn't do anything to change that.

Jonathan fell asleep while they were watching a movie, his head resting against her shoulder. She loved the way it felt experiencing the old familiar times and she relived it all, longing for more. When Jonathan woke he looked up to find Donna now sleeping as he lay there with his head in her lap. It was a familiar place from many years ago, the two of them falling asleep on the sofa. He wished so many things could have gone differently between him and Donna but was grateful that they had come together now in a way. Not wanting to wake her he lay there thinking about his next steps with Tim.

Jonathan's cell phone rang and he was completely surprised to hear Tim on the other end. He asked Jonathan if he could come over to his house, saying he needed to get something off his chest. There was no way Jonathan was going to pass this opportunity up so he agreed. After telling Donna about the phone call Jonathan drove over to talk to Tim at his house. There were no lights on and Jonathan didn't see any sign of Tim at all, making him wonder what was going on. Tim had just called about ten minutes ago so he must have been home then. Jonathan tucked his service revolver in the back of his pants, not knowing what he might be walking into.

Jonathan went to the front door and knocked before realizing the door was not latched. He pushed it open slightly and called out "Tim, are you here? It's Jonathan." There was no answer and Jonathan didn't hear a sound at all. He walked in and flipped the light switch but it didn't work so he went to a lamp in the living room with the same result. He thought the power must be out so he went to his car to grab a flashlight. As he reached for the car door he felt a sharp blow to the back of his head before he blacked out.

When Jonathan came to he tried to move but quickly realized he was tied up. He looked around and recognized where he was right away; it was that strange room in the middle of Tim's basement. He tried to work free of the ropes but couldn't as the chair was tied to a pole in the middle of the room. He saw his gun and cell phone sitting on the workbench at the far wall. All he could think was how could he have let that bastard surprise him like this. There was no sound at all until the door suddenly swung open. As expected he turned to see Tim walk into the room but surprisingly he was bound and gagged, led into the room by a much older man.

The man tied Tim to another chair across the room by the work bench before removing the gag. Jonathan just sat there, watching as the strange man opened a satchel he had brought in with him. He put on some gloves and pulled some things out and laid them on the floor between the two of them. Jonathan saw a round piece of wood with some sort of a makeshift handle, along with an old hunting knife. There were some books as well but Jonathan had no idea what was in them. "Who the Hell are you and what the Hell do you want?" Jonathan demanded of the man. He didn't say a single word and simply turned away, nearly walking out before pausing by the door.

The man looked at Tim, then at Jonathan, saying "I'm your worst nightmare and that little shit over there can vouch for that." Jonathan tried to engage him in a deeper conversation in an attempt to get the upper hand but the man wasn't allowing it. Jonathan could see Tim looking at this stranger with total contempt, but he also saw a stark sense of fear at the same time. "If you live long enough you will see me in your dreams, in your nightmares, just like little Timmy here" the man added. Jonathan had no idea what this all meant and he wondered how much he could get out of Tim. The man turned to leave, pausing as he looked back at Tim, saying "I always knew you were nothing more than a little chicken shit coward and you sure as Hell proved me right." Tim lowered his head as the man turned and walked out, locking the door behind him.

Chapter Forty Four

When they were alone Jonathan turned to Tim and asked him who that man was and what was going on. Tim told him it was his father and this was the first time he saw him since he was little. "He made me call and lure you over here but I had no idea why." Tim said. He went on to tell Jonathan all about his past, some of which he already knew. "You already know I had a twin brother but what you don't know is how psychopathic he was" Tim said. He went on to tell of how his brother had always made him take the blame for things he had done. He also spoke of his father and how he tortured the two boys when they were young. Tim told him how his mother had written in a diary that she would kill his father and he assumed she had done just that.

Tim added "You know about Travis and how he went missing in the park but there was more to it than that. He had been killing people and he tried to kill me that night. I didn't have a choice so I had to kill him but I made up the story about being chased. My mother was convinced I was the sick one instead of Travis so I knew nobody would believe me." Tim left out a few of the facts about the other people he had killed long after Travis was gone.

Jonathan saw Tim a little differently than he had before but he was still processing all of this new information. He asked Tim what his father was trying to do now and Tim told him he thinks his father killed Jenny. "See that piece of wood with the handle? That was something Travis made when we were kids and he used to pretend to fight people with it. I hid it from him and I noticed earlier today that it was missing and I actually started wondering if I had done something to Jenny. Now I am sure it was him."

They talked about all of the things that Jonathan had questions about and Tim answered them, most of them anyhow. Realizing that these things lying there a few feet away were probably used to take Jenny's life filled Jonathan with rage. "We have to get out of here and find that bastard" Jonathan told Tim. Tim told him the room was soundproof so nobody would hear them yell. Jonathan asked "Can you get your chair moving over toward that knife on the floor? My chair is tied to the pole so I can't move." Tim rocked his chair, moving it forward little by little. As he got closer the chair fell on its side about two feet short of the knife. Tim struggled to move but gradually was able to get closer to the knife. Reaching behind him with only a few fingers able to move Tim grasped the knife and was able to cut the rope that bound his hands. He cut the ropes around his legs before walking over to Jonathan to set him free.

Jonathan quickly ran over to grab his gun and checked to make sure the magazine was still in it. He was surprised that it was and seeing his cell phone was off, he turned it on. The display lit up right away with seven missed text messages from Donna. The first was simply asking how his talk with Tim went but each one that followed was much more anxious since he hadn't responded. The last message made the blood run out of Jonathan's face. Donna and Jessica were coming to Tim's house to make sure everything was okay. "We have to get out of here now because Donna's bringing Jessica over here" he told Tim.

Jonathan grabbed all of the things on the floor and threw them back in the satchel before going to the door. He kicked the door several times but it wasn't budging. He finally found a crowbar on the bench and was able to pry the door off its' hinges. He told Tim to stay behind him as he ran out of the cellar and through the yard, gun drawn and ready. His heart sank when he got to the front of the house and saw Donna's car, two doors wide open. He could hear the chime warning of the key being left in the ignition. He grabbed his cell phone and called Donna, hoping he was wrong about his assumptions.

The ringing stopped and he could hear someone breathing so he said "Donna is that you? Is everything okay?" A man's voice said "Everything will be okay if you do what I tell you and leave the police out of this." Jonathan said "If you hurt either one of them you will have to deal with me and I guarantee you don't want that." The man told him to leave the satchel on the porch and for him and Tim to drive away and wait for a call so Jonathan reluctantly did just that. Jonathan had Tim drive his car and told him to turn at the first corner and keep going all the way downtown without looking back. As they rounded the corner Jonathan opened the passenger door and jumped out, rolling as he hit the ground.

He looked around to see if anybody was watching and was sure he hadn't been seen. Jonathan stayed in the shadows, moving quickly back toward Tim's house. He saw Tim's father go inside with the satchel just as he rounded the corner of the house. Jonathan peered in each window and finally saw Donna and Jessica in the kitchen, sitting at the table. Tim's father placed the satchel on a chair and turned towards Donna, brandishing a small revolver. Jonathan recognized the old Colt 45 right away because it was the one he had given Donna over twenty years ago for protection.

Jonathan didn't want to call the police for fear of them setting this guy off too quickly. Instead Jonathan knew he had to get to him all alone and he watched for an opening so he could rush through the kitchen door. He could see Donna was doing her best to stay calm and that helped keep Jessica from being too upset. Donna had given her a cookie so she was peacefully gnawing away on that. Waiting patiently for his chance Jonathan didn't notice someone sneak up behind him until he saw a reflection in the glass of the door. Spinning around to confront this second attacker, Jonathan realized it was Tim who had come back to help. Jonathan actually was glad Tim had ignored his instructions because he could use the help.

Jonathan asked Tim if there was a way inside the house where he couldn't be seen. Tim told him there was a window in the front of the house he used to climb in and out of as a child to sneak in and out at night. Jonathan asked him if he could still climb up there and Tim said he was sure he could. They hid out of sight of the house and devised a plan together, the adrenaline running through each of them. They shook hands and parted ways, Tim heading quietly around to the front of the house and Jonathan returning to his spot by the back door. While he waited Jonathan called Robert, filling him in on the latest turn of events. Robert insisted that Jonathan needed his help and reluctantly he agreed. He gave Robert the address and told him to make sure he wasn't seen.

Chapter Forty Five

Jonathan stayed focused, keeping an eye on what was happening in the kitchen as he waited for his old friend and ally. It seemed like Tim should have already made a distraction like they discussed but there was nothing evident yet. Jonathan watched as Tim's father pulled a phone out and answered it, talking for only a minute. Jonathan couldn't make out any words but he knew the guy was pissed off from the look on his face. Tim's father walked toward the door where Jonathan was waiting so he moved off to the side waiting to pounce if he dared come out. Instead he opened a window on the same wall as the door and looked out. Jonathan could see him at the window as if he was looking for someone or something.

He went back inside so Jonathan retook his spot near the door, waiting as patiently as he could. The window was still open so at least he could hear what was going on inside. He overheard Donna ask him why he was keeping them there and who he was. He only told her to mind her own business and she would find out soon enough. "Where the Hell was Tim?" Jonathan thought. He knew something must have happened but he couldn't leave to find out. He heard a phone ringing and listened as Tim's father answered his cell, saying "What in the world are you doing? Oh, you found the little pipsqueak? Bring the little wimp in here so we can finish this already."

Jonathan now knew there was an accomplice so this made things a little more complicated. As he watched another man walk Tim into the kitchen he knew that was an understatement. Tim looked shaken to Jonathan now but he thought how he had seemed so in control a few minutes earlier. He soon found out the reason as his father said "So the twins are together again." He laughed as he said this, adding that it was a shame the reunion wouldn't be a long one. Tim's father asked where "the bitch's father" was and Tim told him he came back alone. Jonathan thought this second guy had to be Travis so he knew from what Tim had said he was someone to worry about.

Tim turned to Travis and said "I don't understand; I killed you years ago and watched your body float away." Travis told him he was an idiot for thinking he could ever beat him. It turned out their father had been living nearby as they grew up and he and Travis had formed an alliance. "I lived with Dad all those years Timmy, you little wuss. You always tried to get in the way of my fun, just like Dad said you would. Well, I guess I'll get the last laugh once we find her husband" he said as he pointed to Donna.

Jonathan knew he needed help so he slipped away from the house and waited for Robert Madison. Robert was a Marine years ago so Jonathan knew he could handle himself. Robert was eager to help Jonathan and hoped to regain his trust since listening to Jonathan as he described the situation they faced. He grabbed a few things before leaving his house and headed for the address Jonathan had given him.

Jonathan met Robert around the corner from Tim's house and after exchanging brief pleasantries they made their way to the house. Everyone was still in the kitchen and Tim was still keeping them busy with his questions. As they listened Tim's brother admitted to killing so many people, ones that Jonathan had thought Tim had killed. Tim almost lost it when Travis told him he had even pushed their mother down the stairs that night. Instead he held his ground and asked how Travis had always made him think he was responsible for so many deaths. Travis pulled out a little vial and said "with a little of this slipped in your drink you were so drugged you didn't even know what you were doing." He told Tim it was like shooting fish in a barrel since Tim was always so ready to accept the blame for everything.

Travis went on to say that they were going to make sure Tim took the blame for every single killing. "Once we kill these two and her husband we'll take care of you next. Travis told him the evidence they had in the bag would show it was all Tim's doing. "Too bad you will kill yourself in the end bro" Travis told Tim. Jonathan now knew the plan was to kill them all and make Tim the scapegoat for their murders before staging his death as a suicide.

Looking into that kitchen Jonathan could see that Donna was staying strong, something that made him very proud of her. "Hang in there, beautiful" Jonathan thought. Robert whispered to Jonathan "They're both armed so we have to be careful. We need to go in at the same time and take them both out at once before they can get off a shot." Jonathan told Robert he would take out the father if he could take the kid and Robert agreed. Jonathan said "We have one chance at this so let's make it happen even if you are just a big dumb Jarhead!" Robert smiled at him and the two of them got ready for the countdown.

On the count of three Jonathan and Robert burst through the door, firing one shot each. They were both on target and the brother and father dropped to the floor while Jessica cried out from the noise. Donna ran to Jonathan and hugged him and she noticed Robert was looking on. She looked at Jonathan with relief and he just took her in his arms and kissed her before holding her tightly against him. Tim had run straight for Jessica, trying to shield her from the gruesome conclusion to this entire experience. He held her and she peered up at him with a look, one that Tim thought was much too mature for such a young girl.

It was only a few minutes later that police cars engulfed the area, Jonathan's friend, Police Chief Brian Hartman's own car among them. Jonathan met Brian at the door with a handshake, telling him it was over now. He filled him in about all of the missing information and the evidence in the satchel in the kitchen. Brian took a look at everything and thanked Jonathan for solving so many murders over the past several years. Brian saw Robert was there and seemed a little surprised but told Jonathan it was good to see his two buddies together again.

Tim was crying when Jonathan went over to talk to him, shaking his head from side to side in disgust. Jonathan sat next to him and put his arms around him, telling Tim how sorry he was for blaming him in Jenny's death. Tim told him he understood but at the same time he was so confused. He said "Jenny's death really is my fault. If I had made sure Travis was dead it never would have happened." Jonathan told him to stop blaming himself and said to take control of the future for Jessica's sake. "You and Jessica are part of our family and Donna and I will always be here for both of you" Jonathan told Tim. Donna agreed and hugged Tim and told him to take care of that little girl.

Epilogue

It was nearly a year later that Tim was getting dressed for another wedding, that of his two in-laws. Donna and Jonathan had decided to remarry which was something Tim knew would have made Jenny happy. All she ever talked about was how much she knew they loved each other. He was happy to see this come to be but wished Jenny had been able to be there to see it through herself. Jessica was the flower girl and he got her into the prettiest little dress, anxiously waiting for her walk down the aisle.

When Jonathan had asked Donna where she wanted to get married he was glad when she suggested the same place Jenny and Tim had done so. He knew the Cove in Sandbridge was the perfect choice as they started their life together once again, with Jenny's memories deep inside their souls. Since she couldn't be there the best thing they could do was hold the ceremony at her favorite place in the world. Jonathan asked Tim to be his best man which he had agreed to without hesitation.

Tim had gone through quite the transformation since his brother and father briefly came into their lives that day. He was set free in so many ways, no longer wondering what he had or hadn't done to so many people before. That night before the big wedding Tim experienced another dream and he welcomed it into his consciousness this time like he never had before. As the dream unfolded he could see the same faceless figure, facing him with uncertainty. Tim reached out in the dream and touched the person that haunted him for years. As the figure turned toward him he saw immediately that it was Jenny, thanking him for uncovering the truth. Jenny told him she loved him and asked him to take care of their little girl.

Tim awoke in tears after seeing such a perfect picture of his lovely wife who had been taken from him. It was difficult to imagine going forward without her but Jessica demanded it with that look of consternation. Tim recognized that look after seeing it on Jenny's face so many times. This little girl was indeed the image of her mother and Tim loved her for that. They left for the wedding with Tim finding memories of his own wedding day reeling in his mind.

The wedding went on without a hitch, Donna and Jonathan happily bringing their lives together once again. It was a sight neither of them would forget, watching their granddaughter walk down the aisle tossing rose petals as she went. Everyone watching was so happy seeing Jessica as she went along her way, thinking how wonderful it was that she could move forward from the past. Jonathan looked out toward the ocean, watching the waves roll in and he swore he saw Jenny standing there with her long blonde hair whipping in the wind. She was smiling and gave a little wave before fading off into the ocean.

After the wedding Donna and Jonathan went away for a honeymoon in the Bahamas. Jonathan had decided to retire so that made a big difference in how they approached the future. Jonathan and Donna were the happiest they had been in so many years, the joy of being together overcoming the memories of what they had lost. It was still difficult to understand why their only daughter was taken from them but they knew they had each other to lean on.

Tim and Jessica shared a stronger bond than most fathers and daughters, something Jenny would have been proud of. Tim loved being a father and was at peace with himself for the first time in his life. The only thing missing now was Jenny but he felt like he discovered her in Jessica more and more as she grew up. He knew Jenny must be looking down on them with that same loving look she always had shown. Tim was grateful that Jessica had no memory of that awful night, hopeful that she wouldn't relive it someday like he had.

Jessica grew faster than a weed, blossoming into a beautiful young girl over the years. She loved her dad and though she couldn't really remember her mother she still missed her. In fact Jessica had no memory of that night with Travis and her grandfather. Sometimes she would dream about her mother and see her in heaven, a vision aided by the many pictures her father had around the house. There was another dream she had started having about a mysterious person. She saw someone reaching for her but she couldn't make out who it was. The face was blurred and distorted and she would wake up sweating and shaking from this but she dismissed it as nothing but a silly dream, at least for now.
