

LITTLE MORE THAN A FRIEND

Paras Goel (Lover Boy Mariner)

Little More than a Friend

Copyright 2014 VH Book Studio

Smashwords Edition

To

My Parents and my Friends

I am from you and I will be from you

Thanks V.H.Book Studio

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

I would like to express my gratitude to all the people who provided support, talked things over, read, wrote, offered comments, allowed me to quote their remarks and assisted in the editing, proofreading and design. I would like to thank Harsh Vardhane and his Publishing studio for helping me publish this book. Above all I want to thank my friends, Sanchita, Tushar Kakkar, my C.I.D. Gang, Parth, Triyank, Akshay Aggarwal, Aman, Tarannum, Era, Arpit Lawaniya, Rahul and many others who supported and encouraged me all the time. They have all tried to improve me in some way or the other and it's commendable that they are still trying. I would like to thank Sanskriti Dixit, Arani Mukherjee and Himanshi Juneja for helping me in the process of selection and editing. I would like to give my special thank to Jeetika Oberoi in finding such a great story. Last and not least: I beg forgiveness of all those who have been with me over the course of the years and whose names I have failed to mention.

Epilogue

I live and study at Samundra Institute of Maritime Studies, I am a cadet, a Mariner.

24 September, 2013

I was sitting in my cabin and was surfing through Facebook , enjoying the weather of this hill station, when suddenly I received a text,

"AYYAN"

Oh man!!! It was a text from her, its almost after a month when I had received a text from her. As soon as I saw the text I rose to the seventh heaven and Without wasting any time I replied.

" Hey. How are you?"

" I am fine. Can we please talk on the phone?"

Wow!!! My heart beat increased tremendously and it seemed like my heart will pop out of my chest and say " Asshole give me your phone, I will talk to her." I was smiling as if she just came towards me, hugged and kissed me. Taking a deep breath and keeping my imagination safe, I called her. Just a single ring and she picked up. My whole body was trembling and I was beaming that after so long I could at last hear her voice but at the same time silly questions were striking my mind. "Why does she want to talk to me?", "What has happened?""Does she want to apologize for her previous behavior? ."

"Hello. How are you?"

" I am good and you?"

" Badiya"

She said this and stopped speaking and I was wondering what had happened. After waiting for a while, I said.

"Haanji bolo?"

" Kya bolu yaar??? Disturb toh nhi kiya.??"

"Nahin nahin, I was free"

" Yaar can you please do me a favor? "

I should have guessed that she was calling for a favor.

" Yaa sure"

" Can you please convince Dhruv that I can't go to his birthday party? "

" Sure, but what happened? Are you fine?"

And what happens next is the reason why my heart melts again and again.I hear her voice break into tears. She was trying to gather all her courage and utter whatever came to her mind first, " Ayyan, I am in a big trouble, please make them understand that I am not well. Please lie to them for me. I don't want to lose all my friends again. "

To this I nervously replied- " I will do that, don't worry, but please tell me what has happened and why the hell are you crying? Please stop crying and tell me. "

Crying and sobbing, she replied rudely- " I can't tell you. You just do what you are asked to do and please stop asking what has happened?"

I was trying to console her again and again asked her to stop crying and tell me her problem. But as usual, she didn't tell me anything and hung up by saying-" Please do convince them all that, I am not well and I can't come to the party and please don't tell anyone anything. Please don't ask me what happened. I can't tell you."

After our little so called "Just Friends" chat, I turned numb. My body along with my heart tried to absorb the mixture of emotions that reflect from this quick conversation. What the hell is her problem? Some hours passed and I was still thinking about her. I was not able to eat, think, or do anything. So I decided to call her again and talk to her. Though I so much feel like sharing my feelings with someone but right now I need to be alone. It a wondrously diverse situation when you are at a battle with your heart and mind.

I chose the best place where I could sit alone and talk to her in a peaceful environment. I went to the backside of my college where the scenic beauty is simply fabulous. A lush green valley, clouds hovering over the green hills, making a canopy, a small river flowing in.. Cutting through the valley, making it a small paradise to look at. This is what Lonavala is known for, the best place where you can pass your time alone, thinking about someone special in your life.

It was the evening time and I was all alone sitting in the dark having a look towards the natural beauty and I called her. I could actually picture her right now, her expressions on seeing my number flashing on screen.

After few bells she received my call and she angrily asked, " Yes?? "

I politely asked her, " what happened yaar? Why were you crying?"

She burst out and said, " I told you, I don't want to share it with you, why the hell you don't understand?"

I was still calm and polite to her and tried to calm her down. "Ok, fine, it's your wish if you don't want to share, then don't. I was just asking so I could help you." This was the line I always used to get people to tell me their problem, and it worked here too.

Sinking into the speaker, she cuddled and calmly replied, " neither you nor anyone can help me, I just broke up with my boyfriend."

Now, it was a confusing situation for me, whether I should be happy or sad that the love of my life is single now. Happy, because now I can finally have her and sad because she is upset. But before I should try to make her feel good and console her. I nervously replied, " but why? "

She sadly replied " yaar I was talking to a guy JUST AS A FRIEND whom he doesn't, like, without letting him know about it. This guy is just like a best friend to me, but my boyfriend doesn't like, me talking to him. "

To this, I was not able to reply and all I could say was ohhhhh..."

When she told about what all happened I was totally numb, I don't know why but I didn't like it. May be it was because once I used to be her best friend and when her boyfriend asked her, not to talk to me, she cut off all contact with me and left me alone.

Then she continued and said " maybe god is punishing me for doing all this to you. For hurting you. For not accepting your proposal even after knowing you how you felt for me. You liked me, but I didn't like you and I didn't accept you. That's why god is doing this with me. "

Now what the FUCK was that?? She was blaming me for her breakup and all mess in her life. WHY THE HELL IS SHE BLAMING ME???? Where was I in between all this ?

But still I didn't say anything to her. I was about to cry, but I controlled my emotions and tried to make her understand that she should not burden herself, her boyfriend will be back because he loved her. This was the only thing I could say to her, though disheartedly. For about fifteen minutes I tried to make her feel good and asked her not to be bothered about all this.

After her call was disconnected, I was in tears. It is a messed up situation when you try to support a needy person, though you are aware of the fact that you require it most. I wanted to cry but couldn't. This was the moment I regretted being in love with her. I was out of my mind sitting in darkness, watching those dark mountains, playing an irony in my life, local trains passing by. I wanted to talk to someone, I wanted someone's shoulder to cry on but I couldn't share this with anyone around me. Now this was the time I missed my home, my family, my friends more because I wanted to talk, because I wanted to share, but I was sitting alone 1500 kilometers away from my native place and my people.

Some time passed and I was still sitting there all senseless, I received a text from my closest friend, my sister and the one with whom I could share everything, Ridham. I called her and after hearing her voice I started crying, I was in tears, but I didn't let her know about this. I said to her, " Ridhu, she called me today."

She nervously replied and asked me " Who??? "

"SIYAA"

She replied angrily "what the hell she wants now? Why can't she just leave you alone?"

I tried to calm her down and said " yaar she was crying."

Ridham, still in an angry tone " Why? And if she is crying, it should not bother you. She must be getting bored and wanted someone for time pass. So please ignore her."

"Ridhu at least listen to me first and then comment on her" this time I burst out loud, though she was my best friend. I could not hear anything against Siyaa.

"Ridhu, she broke up and she didn't want to go to Dhruv's birthday party. So she just asked me to convince all our friends from SPC for her absence."

Ridham was less calm and asked me, why was I upset then?

I replied, " I am confused that now as she is single so I should try to hit on her once again. Just a try." I said this to lighten the tension.

She burst out laughing and said " Mere Bhai to itna pagal Kyun hai. Try it, but this time be careful, I don't want you to be a Devdas again."

I hung up because I didn't want her to know the real thing. I always wondered if at anytime Ridham met Siyaa, she will murder her, just for hurting me. I was sitting in the dark and lonely place for more than an hour and was still thinking about the same thing, Why did she blame me for her breakup even though I was nowhere between all this. Was loving her my mistake? If that is so, then from now I'll never ever be in touch with her not now, not ever.

That day I was broken, I wanted to cry out loud but could not. I went back to my room with a fake smile on my face. My roommates were busy in doing their stuff, I entered, looked at them, smiled and went back to my bed. We didn't share even a single word. That night was a torture night for me, all the old memories kept coming back to me.

*************

Contents

1. Acknowledgement

2. Epilogue

3.Memories

4. Present

5.About the Author

MEMORIES

1. FIRST GIRLFRIEND

The best part of school life used to be the first day of the new academic session. It was the first day of ninth standard. Me and my best friend Vikrant chose Sanskrit as our sixth subject. In our school there was a choice between Sanskrit and Hindi as our second language. Our sections were shuffled, students who chose Sanskrit were in section B and those who chose Hindi were in section A.

2nd April 2008 was the first day of our ninth standard. This morning I was very excited, new dress, new books, new school bag, new teachers, new class and new memories. I left home by shouting from outside, climbing on my Avon bicycle "mummy main ja raha hun". This was the line I used to say whenever I left home. Whether I was going to school tuition or any other place. I speed up my bicycle with full speed to reach school as soon as I could, I was too excited to go to my new class and also I wanted to see the first reaction of my best buddy when he would enter our new class and find me there before him.

I reached school, met all my friends and discussed out our last standard's final result and was comparing who got more marks. I was a fat, dark and not so good looking guy, but still I was a kind of a cool lad. I used to make others laugh, was sincere and yet naughty, very obedient and an average scoring guy. Vikrant, on the other hand was the topper of the school; from the fourth standard till date no one had come across him. Though I was always jealous of him, but still I was happy that my best buddy was a trooper.

Our class started as usual, we both were sitting together and chit chatting about the past vacations and resorts. Suddenly he asked,"BHAI, do you have a crush on someone?"

I was shocked at his question because we both had never discussed about it and were far away from crushes, relationships and making outs. To this question I laughed aloud and replied,"do you have a crush?"

Vikrant told me that there is a girl in his neighborhood and both of them like each other, but didn't want to be in a relationship because they were scared of their families. At that time being scared from families meant scolding from mom, dad and some sort of punishment too.

One week passed and still we didn't know the name of all our classmates. So we decided to get introduced to everyone. One by one we went to every bench, talked to everyone and got introduced. Then we came across a girl with a sweet smile, super sexy as well as cute eyes, fair, smooth skin, thick hair and a long pony tail and a magical voice.

I put forth my hand and said,"hi, I am Ayyan".

She very sweetly replied, "hello, I am Siyaa" and we shook hands, the moment I touched her hand, the period bell rang, but it felt as if the same bells were ringing in my heart. Gradually we all became friends, we used to chit chat, play games and do a lot of mischievous acts. The game we mostly played in class was "truth and dare" and "red hands". One day, as usual, we were playing truth and dare, pen was rotated and it pointed towards Shefali. Shefali was one of the good friends of Siyaa and me.

I questioned her,"what do you choose, truth or dare?"

"Truth", she said.

Suddenly Siyaa said,"Ok wait everybody, I will ask her".

"Accha tell me, do you have a crush on someone in our class?", She asked in a mischievous way.

All of us were waiting for her response. After a few minutes she said,"yes, I do ". All of us got very much excited to know about her crush. Everyone shouted, "woohoooo... who.. Who?"

But she didn't tell us.

**********

One of the most fun day of school life used to be annual carnivals and school trips. Luckily, we were having both within a gap of two weeks. This time I was very excited about the carnival because I had gotten my new personal mobile phone. In 2008, very few school kids used to have their own mobile phones at least in middle class families. I was showing off my new touchscreen phone to my friends when Shefali came to me and asked for my number. She was the first girl with whom I talked on the phone.

A week passed and now it was time for the school trip. We all were very excited as we were going to Manali and staying there with our friends for a week and with no worries and tensions of exams was very refreshing. We boarded the bus to leave, grabbed our seats and started singing, dancing and playing games. After some time I received a text from Shefali asking me to come and sit in the back seat with her.

I went to her asked,"what happened?"

She replied very sweetly,"come sit with me, I want to talk to you".

I sat there very nervous and asked her what did she want to talk about. She opened her handbag, took out a piece of paper and gave it to me and asked me to read it. I opened it, it was decorated with sparkle inks with the words I LOVE YOU written on it in a very stylish way. It was very surprising for me, I looked at her flabbergasted, and asked her " What is this?"

She started crying and said something. I could not understand what she said, but after listening to her cry all our fellow mates came towards us and started inquiring about her crying. Suddenly someone snatched that paper from my hand and read it aloud on the bus. They all thought that it was me who wrote all this and was giving it to her. They all started cheering loudly and asked Shefali for her answer. Obviously, she said yes and I was standing there absolutely clueless, trying to make them understand that it was not me who wrote that. But those silly people didn't listen to me and made us a couple.

This is how I got my first GIRLFREIND.

*************

Mall road of Manali is filled with couples all around, sweet strawberries, lot of tourists and chemist shops displaying packets of condoms on top. Though we all were secondary school students and were not into all this, yet were standing within the sight of these shops, looking at the condom packets and jiggling around. The class was divided into groups of boys and girls. We were roaming here and there and looking at the stuff which we could find in Manali and which was not available in Delhi.

Vikrant shouted, " Dude, why don't you gift something to Shefali."

I looked at him strangely and said," Me?? Have you gone mad?"

He stared me with a dirty look for some time and then angrily said, "Dude, she is your girlfriend and every boyfriend has to gift something to his girlfriend. Now you should also do that. "

I replied, " But I don't know what to gift her, I don't know anything about girl's stuff."

He took my phone, called Siyaa and asked her to meet us alone. She came to us and asked what the matter was. Vikrant told her that I wanted to gift something to Shefali but didn't know what to buy.

She smirked and said, " Teri girlfriend, tu khud soch."

I insisted, "please help me."

I forced her to help me, after a long argument and a lot of efforts, she agreed. She took me to a shop and anywhere I looked there was girl's stuff. Artificial bangles, necklaces, earrings, cosmetics, and many such things about which I had the slightest idea. She asked me to buy a set of earrings for her. I stared at her for a while and gave her grinned sheepishly.

She screamed at me, " Now what? This also I should do?"

I grinned and said, " Please. "

She chose the best pair of earrings and asked me to give her when both of us would be alone. That evening, I went to her room, she was all alone there. She was wearing a red hooded top and blue jeans and it seemed she was playing the main protagonist of the famous story "Little Red Riding Hood". The room was filled with the fragrance of her perfume, her Kajal was making her eyes look prettier and her cheeks were red because of constant blushing. She sat on bed and I was sitting on the sofa. We talked for some time about what all happened on the bus. I didn't want to spoil her trip, so I didn't tell her that I don't like her and don't accept her as my girlfriend, and I tried to make the moment special for her.

I looked at her earrings and said," Your earrings don't suit you. Why don't you try something else?"

She smiled wickedly and said, "Baby for you I'll change them and buy a new pair tomorrow only."

I smiled and said, " I don't think you need to buy any." I asked her to close her eyes and tried to change her earrings. But I was so dumb that I didn't even know how to do that and ultimately I ended up hurting her. Her right ear was all red and she was holding her ear due to pain but still she was smiling. She stared at me for some time. I could sense the love in her eyes. She came close to me, held my hand in hers and hugged me tightly. She was too happy to spend such a great moment with me, but on the other side, I was feeling very awkward and diffident. Yes, I was timid because it was the first time when a girl was hugging me.

She said, " It was so sweet of you that you tried to do all this for me and your gift is amazing, I love it."

While saying all this she was very close to me. She was in my arms and her face was very close to mine, our breaths were collapsing. Our lips were only few millimeters away and they were about to meet and we were about to feel the sweetness of each other's lips, Suddenly someone knocked the door. We immediately moved back to our places and she opened the door.

Her friends were shocked to see me in her room, alone with her. They all started teasing us.

Pulkita, one of her friends said," Poor love birds, we disturbed them." While the other girl asked, " What was going on here, huh? You both alone in this room and door locked ?" and she gave me a devilish look and all the girls around us started laughing very loudly. We both were looking at each other from the corner of our eyes and hiding our gifts. She too had gifted me a watch. Watches were something which I used to like most at that time. On the complete trip she was wearing the same earrings which I gifted her and I was wearing the same watch which she gave me. I wore it on someone's special demand.

**************************************

A few days past our trip, things were getting bad from my side. Daily calls and messages from Shefali were pissing me off and I was getting irritated. Once I got a call from her at midnight. I was sleeping so I didn't come across the call and hence didn't pick up. She called me again and again until I received her call.

She sweetly asked me," Baby what were you doing? Did I disturb you? "

Shefali are you out of your mind? You are calling me at midnight and asking 'Did I disturb you?' Why don't you understand that I don't want to talk you and I don't feel anything for you." I screamed and disconnected the call.

Other day as soon as I entered the class, Siyaa came to me and very angrily asked me what happened last night. I explained everything to her from the beginning, how a small misunderstanding was becoming a source of irritation for me.

After listening to my story she went to Shefali and confirmed everything. Siyaa was stunned to hear Shefali confirm this " , I understand that what all happened was wrong but, she likes you alot."

I tried to defend myself and convince her very calmly," I know that she likes me but at this time I am not at all ready for all this. I don't know what to talk about, for so many hours. What to do to make her happy or how to make her feel special. And the important thing is that I DON'T LIKE HER."

Siyaa was very understanding, so she agreed to what all I said and tried to convince Shefali. And I asked Shefali for forgiveness and, whether or not we would stay friends, as earlier.

2. BENCH PARTNERS

After what happened between me and Shefali, we stopped talking. Actually, not we, she stopped talking. School was getting boring because of the examination, the only saving grace being our friends.

Forty nine in strength, our class was like a small family. We used to do everything together, play, have fun, share our problems and emotions with each other. It is amazing how people from different backgrounds come together and become such an integral part of our school life.

Our class teacher made sure that there should one weak student sitting with one good student, so she did the seating plan accordingly. As I was an average student so I had to sit with someone weak or intelligent in academics. I was sitting on the third bench in the second row and was waiting for my bench partner. To my surprise, I heard my teacher take Siyaa's name and beckoning her to sit with me.

She smiled brightly and said, " Now you will be teaching me Maths."

I winked at her and said, " I'll charge for that."

" We'll see to it.", she narrowed her eyes and said.

At that time I was wondering that all other boys might be hating me in their minds because the cutest girl of our batch was sitting with me. Most of the guys had an infatuation for her and were trying to impress her. But now she had to sit with me for the entire day.

After our class arrangements were shuffled, I was not studying for good marks, I was studying to teach Siyaa. Daily we used to sit together, talk, study and tease each other.

Sometimes I use to feel embarrassed while sitting beside her because I was a fat guy and half of the bench was occupied by me, so I started working out and tried to look good, not to impress her but just to make sure that I don't become a topic of fun in front of her.

Amidst all this, unknowingly growing a soft corner for her in my heart.

One day she asked me for my number and told me that she had a test in her coaching center and she didn't know anything. So she wanted me to solve her doubts on the phone whenever I was not with her.

That evening I received a text from an unknown number.

9818***** - " Hi :) "

Me- " Who are you?"

9818****** - " Sir, your student."

Me- " Ohhh.. So my student wants a class? "  
She replied- " Don't you think anything other than studies."

Me- " Yeah!! I think about you."

She- " Teachers don't flirt with their students."

She called me, as soon as I received her text and we started talking on call. We were discussing about all the silly stuff which we did in school and that was the time when I talked to someone for so long over the phone. We talked for almost three hours.

This became our daily routine, the whole day we spend together in school and then on messages and calls. We became very close to each other and started sharing everything. Now came the time I used to figure out her mood from her messages. My tuition used to get over at 6:30 pm and from 6:20 pm she used to start calling me. I was getting emotionally attached to her. The day when we didn't talk, I used to feel upset and low.

Yes, I started liking her. She was my first crush.

One day she told me that the gift which Shefali gave me was chosen by her. Woo..!!! The watch I was having as my gift was chosen by my best friend and my first ever crush.

******************************

Our class ninth final exams were starting and as expected Siyaa was too nervous for the exams and especially for Maths. I was trying to make her feel comfortable and confident, somehow I was successful to do it but was not that much.

All of our exams went well and after a few days our result was to be announced.

She called me and said," Yaar I am sure that I will be flunking in Maths."

I tried to console her and said, " Abe yaar how many times I have to tell you, don't worry and think positive, and again and again by saying this you are doubting on my teachings."

She laughed and said " When did you teach me? We were always talking about something other than studies and if I'll be failing now, Mr. is ready to die."

I wickedly replied, " I would love to die from your hands."

Result day came and it was as we all were expecting it to be. I was among the top five Rankers of the class and Siyaa was in top ten. She was too happy that in the excitement she thanked me and hugged me. That hug took me to the seventh sky. I was not that happy for my result, but for that moment, when she hugged me.

When I came back home, I was just thinking about that hug. I was lying on my bed and holding my pillow in my arms as if it were Siyaa.

*****************************************

Our tenth standard was starting and everything was going smoothly. Me and Siyaa were coming closer day by day. Vikrant got busy with his studies because it was tenth standard, we were having boards for the first time. Shefali, she had become committed to some other guy just after a week we broke that fake relation. My feelings, for Siyaa were growing day by day, but I didn't have guts to tell her about my feelings and the fear to lose her was killing me deep inside.

One day while talking someone raised the topic of future plans. As our school St. Peter's Convent was till tenth standard, so we all were very much scared of separating and our future. Akshu, he wants to be a great business man. Naman wants to be CEO of some big MNC. Kanak wants to be among the top five CA of India. Pulkita wants to be a great fashion designer.

It was my turn to answer and all eyes were on me. I said " I want to do something for the country, I want to join NDA and go for Army."

Everyone laughed at me and said that it was not for me.

With enthusiasm I replied " If it is not for me then I will make it for me."

Everyone sitting there was amazed to see my confidence and spirit to do something for the country.

Then Siyaa said, " Ayyan you go for your aim, I am always with you. But, what kind of life is there?"

Though I had half knowledge about NDA, but still I loved to share it with everyone specially with some modifications.

" At NDA all the Cadets have to wake up at 4:00 am for morning P.T. and running of 8 km in 25 minutes. Then, they have to do Parade and attend academic classes. And the best thing is Uniform and those shining stars on their shoulders, and you wait, no cell phones, laptops or any other electronic gadgets are allowed."

I explained all this and the moment I said my last sentence Siyaa interrupted and shouted, " What? Cell phones are not allowed, so if you got selected, then how will we be in contact. What if you forget me?"

She was too serious and got upset, which anyone could judge from her face. Her sad face revealed what importance I had in her life. I held her hand in mine, smiled and said " Do you really think that I'll ever forget you? Siyaa, you are the best thing which I could ever get. I will always be with you, in your bad and your good times, you'll always find me beside you."

That evening she was very upset and when I asked her about it, she replied, " Why are you so much concerned about me? You just go and prepare for your dream, leave me and Delhi, as we are."

I laughed aloud and said " Siyaa it is just a dream and at this moment I am not eligible to appear for it. I'll be applying for it after my twelfth standard. Right now I have to concentrate on tenth boards and opt for PCM in eleventh. So just chill, I am not going to leave you no matter where I am in this entire world.

After hearing me she started crying and said, " I don't want to lose you. You are the best friend I could ever have."

Her words made me emotional and my eyes were wet too. I was blushing, trying to control my emotions.

I said, " Same here."

************

3 . FACEBOOK ACCOUNT

My favorite pass time was to surf on Facebook and make new friends to chat. And by the end of tenth standard the boy who never wanted to be in a relationship and who didn't believe in love, was in true love and not with someone from a social networking site, it was with Siyaa.

Once, while talking to Siyaa I was chatting on Facebook too. As she was out of reach of Facebook till date, she asked me to make an account for her on Facebook. I did as asked, but she didn't know how to operate it, so she asked me to operate it for some time while she learns how to use it. Within two days all our classmates were added in her account. As she was a pretty girl other students too added her, some juniors and some seniors.

But one friend request which I didn't accepted was of Ayush's. He was our junior and I knew that he talked to Siyaa. I didn't like that guy talking to her. When Siyaa came to know about that I hadn't accepted Ayush's request, she shouted at me and asked me to add him. So I did and asked her to use her account herself.

She was talking to him more and my presence was somewhere lost in her life. We started talking less day by day and I use to feel low and my level of anger was increasing daily. I stopped talking to her due to my ego. I use to behave rudely with her and then daily I use to do something to hurt myself physically. I use to hit my hands on the walls, hit myself from iron ruler, and punch on my punching bag which was by now covered with my blood. We didn't talk for around three weeks. I use to gaze at her from the corner of my eye at school. While talking to other friends, I use to taunt her which made her even more furious.

One day after, after the school was over, I was about to climb my bike and was passing by the bus stand. There, what I saw made me go mad with anger. I saw Siyaa and Ayush standing behind a car holding each other's hand. I didn't go there, but my eyes were stuck on them. I passed by their side pretending that I didn't see them. My eyes were wet, my heart was broken and anger was at its highest peak. The moment a reached home, I didn't utter a word, I didn't even wish my mother and directly went to my room.

That time I did something which I shouldn't have done, I checked her Facebook account. I checked her messages and I found that she was constantly using her account. When I opened Ayush's chat, I lost my senses and was just constantly staring at the screen, my mind was blank and I burst out in tears. I read that Ayush and Siyaa were in a relation from the last two months and Siyaa didn't want anyone to know about their relation, not even me. I felt bad because of two reasons. First, I was her best friend and she didn't trust me to share all this. And second, I was madly in love with her.

*************

That evening I went to Dhruv's house. He was like a brother to me, I share everything with him and so did he. That day I wanted to talk to someone, someone with whom I could share all my feelings, someone who could take care of me.

Sometimes when you are with your family and friends, then too you feel lonely and want somebody with whom you can talk. Some things are not meant to be shared with your family or with everyone, even when you have coolest Dad, frank brothers and caring Mom. But I had a friend cum brother with whom I could share everything.

I left my home on my bike and was so furious and upset that I rode it at full speed. Dhruv's house was four kilometers away from my home and in between those four kilometers, I was about to crash seven times. I called Dhruv and asked him to go for a ride. As he saw my condition, he didn't allow me to drive. We drove through the road of Vikaspuri and finally landed up at Vikaspuri PVR. We sat there on our bike and I narrated everything to him. He asked me to call her and let him talk to her.

I disagreed and said, " If she is happy, then I am happy. I don't want to spoil her relation or my friendship with her." To freshen up my mood he took his car keys from his house and asked me to follow him. He took me to Humayun's Tomb where we climbed around 300 stairs and then there was something which is called a real beauty of Delhi. It was a place from where you could see the entire Delhi or 'Dilli' if you may. At the time of dawn and dusk, it was the place where anyone would love to sit and pass his time, looking at the natural beauty of rising Delhi.

***************************

Two weeks passed and we didn't share a single " Hello". By this time she was aware that I knew about her circumstances with Ayush and was angry because she didn't share them with me. But she was still unaware of the fact that I was in love with her. She tried to talk to me, she used to pass smile in school, she would say "Hello" to me and text me some forwarded messages. This went on for two to three weeks and I was still ignoring her. I never replied her back, not once.

It was weekend and within two days I received around numerous calls from an unknown landline number. It was by chance or I should say by luck that every time my phone rang, I was either in tuitions or I didn't have my phone with me. Though I had a doubt that, that number belonged to Siyaa and she is calling me. But I didn't call back and waited for Monday.

On Monday, I asked everyone about that number. While everyone was wondering, I saw Siyaa signalling Pulkita through gestures that it was her number. Since I saw this, I went back to my seat and started reading. Siyaa got furious.

She came to my seat, snatched the book close and howled at me, "What is your problem? Why are you ignoring me?"

" Just get lost and leave me alone." I bawled, pulling my notebook back, opened my book and stared at it. The whole class was staring at us and Siyaa was staring at me. She went back to her seat and started crying. I didn't notice that she was crying but as soon as I saw her friends standing beside her, trying to calm her down, I went to her. Pulkita pulled me and screamed, " What do you think of yourself? How dare you talk to her like that? She has been trying to talk to you since morning and you are showing your attitude."

I didn't reply.

"I am sorry Siyaa for behaving like this with you." I held my ears and was again and again apologizing to her.

" It is not your mistake, it is all my fault. I am the person who should be punished and God is already doing that by making me alone.", she said in between sobs.

" What do you mean? "

" Leave it yarr, I'll handle it."

This thing gave me a doubt and I was just thinking that what has happened to her. To know this, I went to Ayush. I called him from his class and asked what the matter was between both of them.

He replied, " It is none of your business. So stay away from it."

I was very tensed and angry, so I held his collar and shouted, " She is my best friend and it matters to me. I can't see a single drop of tear in her eyes."

He was scared and told me that three days back they broke up because Ayush's parents caught him while talking to her and asked him to stop talking to Siyaa and concentrate on studies and he did as was guided by his parents. I lost my mind and punched him hard on his nose and it started bleeding and he started crying. I dragged him to Siyaa and asked him to apologize her for hurting her and get back to her as before.

She didn't even look at him and went back to class by saying, " Ayyan I don't want to see this guy ever in my life who never cared for me and for whom I am nothing.After she went back to class, I warned Ayush not to disturb her again.

4. 1ST MARCH

That evening she called me and apologized for not sharing her relationship and for ignoring me. I, too, apologized for my rude behavior and for teasing her. Things were normal now. Our friendship was again at its best like it always had been and I was falling for her more day by day. Our school was about to end and everyone started worrying about board exams, our first board exams. Above all, everyone was upset because end of school life meant separating from our friends and from the place where we spend twelve precious years of our life.

We were counting the days left to spend together. We tried to make as much memories as possible. Diwali celebration, Children's Day, Christmas, New Year, Valentine's Day we celebrated everything nicely for the last time at the place where we started our lives, where we learned to make friends and what to know what friendship was. This is ST. PETER'S CONVENT. The school, which would never be forgotten in our lives.

******************

It was the last day of school, 5 February, 2010. We celebrated ' Pen Day'. Everyone was writing on each other's shirt " I'll miss you", "Be in touch", " Don't forget me", " Best of luck for your future".

Even our teachers were upset because our batch was about to leave the school. They too wrote something on our shirts and gave best wishes. By this time we were talking to each other about forgetting our fights and ego. Even me and Shefali were talking now, and were friends again.

I was sitting on my desk when Shefali came to me and asked, " Can I also write something on your shirt?"

"Sure."

She wrote,

" Always keep smiling. All the very best for your future. May god give you long life. Don't ever forget me.

I MISS YOU. I LOVE YOU ALOT :) "

After reading this I felt so bad. I apologized to her for what all happened between us and promised her to be with her as a very good friend. Now it was time for Siyaa to write something on my shirt. I was expecting her to write something sweet and different on my shirt, but she didn't write anything like that.

She just wrote, " Miss you. Be in touch. Always be happy. With lots of love Siyaa."

It was the same as she had written on other classmates' shirts. But at that moment everyone was so busy in celebrating our last day in St. Peter's, I didn't notice what she had written.

******************

Our board date sheet was in our hands. Our first exam was on 5 March, 2010 and was of Social Science. It was the subject which always gave me goosebumps and lowered my percentage. I never scored much in this subject. So I started preparing for Social Science a week prior as my other subjects were already prepared.

I was sitting in my room studying ' Nationalism In India '. Even though I was too sleepy and was not willing to study, I continued doing so. After around two hours of constant studying, I decided to take rest for some moment. I checked my phone. There was no message, so I texted Siyaa.

"Kitna padegi. Teach something to me also."

" Ghantaaa..!!! I haven't studied anything. These boards are spoiling my birthday."

I forgot her birthday, I didn't even remember the date. I immediately opened Facebook and checked her birthday, and thanked god, it was not that day. Her birthday was on 1 March. Then I texted her back, "Don't worry Veeru, when your Basanti is with you, your birthday will never be never be spoiled."

We had given ourselves nick names Basanti and Veeru from the movie Sholay. She was Veeru and I was her Basanti.

She replied, " Blah blah..!!! Do you even remember when my birthday is?"

"How can you ask this silly question? Your birthday is on March 1 "

" Ok then lets see how'll you make it special for me."

I called Dhruv and told him about Siyaa's birthday. He shouted at me for forgetting her birthday and not informing him before. Then we checked which day it was.

Crap! It is on Monday, and Monday is HOLI. We are in a deep shit now.

"Dhruv what to do now? " I asked him all tensed.

"We'll plan something. Relax."

************************

A day before Holi I was more worried about Siyaa's birthday then my boards exams. I went to Dhruv's place and asked him about what could be done. We spent around three hours and finally decided to visit her home and act like we came to play Holi with her and after sometime we would give her a surprise by letting her cut her own birthday cake and giving her gifts.

Next morning we planned different ways to get out of our homes. I asked my dad to go to the Dhruv's place to play holi and Dhruv did the same.

" Ok, you can go, but don't take your bike with you. You know how strict police is, on such occasions."

Finally, I was allowed to go, but I didn't have my bike or any other vehicle with me, so I had to walk four kilometers to go to Dhruv's home. There also the scene was same. His dad didn't allow him to take his bike or car. We somehow managed a ' YO BIKE', bikes which run with battery. It was not that bad, we enjoyed riding it. We took a chocolate cake for her and a bunch of red roses.

Both of us were looking horrible that day. We were all coloured and couldn't be recognized easily. We reached her home and were standing outside. I called her. Once. Twice. Thrice. But she didn't pick. We decided to come after some time, till then we could visit our other friends who lived nearby. Akshu, Kanak, Naman, Pulkita, Naina and Shefali. We visited everyone's house and wished them Happy Holi and coloured them all.

After visiting every friend ,we came back to Siyaa's place and this time we were standing on the other side of her house where was the window of her room. I again started calling her,but still she didn't pick.

I was looking down on my phone screen and was typing a text to Siyaa. Suddenly Dhruv pulled my shoulder and said " Ayyan? "

I looked at him and he was looking at Siyaa's window, I looked in his direction. Woah!! It was like watching an angel in the bright sun trying to make her wet hair straight and get off from her beautiful face with an irritated smile on her face. It seemed like Siyaa has just taken a bath and has come out to look at the atmosphere created for Holi in her street.

It was like a dream to me in which I am standing in front of my love's window and she is fighting with her long wet hairs, beautifully dressed up and looking at me and waving her hand to say "hi" to me. I asked Dhruv to pinch me hard to get me back into my senses. He pinched me so hard that I shrieked and luckily she heard my voice. She looked at me and gave an angry look. She thought that some eve-teasers were trying to tease her.

I waved my hand towards her and shouted " Hi Siyaa."

She didn't recognize us because of our makeup from Holi colors. She was shocked after hearing her name and ran inside. She came back holding her phone in her hand and read my text, " Veeru, come out I am standing outside your balcony."

She was standing in her balcony and was looking here and there in search of us. Then she again looked at us and I waved. The moment she recognized us, she laughed aloud at our madness. I called her and asked her to come down. But she refused because all her relatives were at her place and coming down to meet us would have put her in trouble. So, she didn't come, I disheartedly asked her, " Now what should I do with the cake and flowers which I bought for you?"

She was shocked and shouted " Yaar why you did all this?"

" Because I don't want my best friend's birthday to be spoiled."

I was looking at her beautiful face, she had a smile and her eyes were wet. She said, " Why are you so sweet? I love you."

I smiled and said, " I love you too. Now tell me what should I do with this cake."

She asked me to wait for a while and went inside to find a solution. She came out after five minutes and called me " Ayyan if you don't mind ,can you leave this at Shefali's place and I'll pick it in the evening."

I was not at all happy because I wanted to celebrate her birthday with her. But we had no other choice other than leaving all the gifts at Shefali's place. Shefali's younger brother came and I handed it over to him and went back to home. I was upset for not being able to meet her and give her the gifts, but inside I was happy because I saw Siyaa after two weeks and the amazing moment I had just spent with her, her glowing and amazing eyes which were constantly looking at me with love in them from her balcony.

That evening I was again buried in my books, trying to study but was not able to concentrate. I was again and again thinking about Siyaa only. I passed three hours just thinking about her.

My phone rang and my dream was broken. It was her.

I picked, " Hi. How was the cake? "

" Without you how can I cut my birthday cake."

I was about to speak, but she interrupted, " Ayyan I am cutting my cake. It's in front of me and I want you to be with me."

Though I was not present there physically, but I was there with her mentally and I was singing birthday song on the phone.

" It was the best birthday I ever had. "

I replied, " It is just the starting. Be ready for much more surprises in your life. "

5. AFTER BOARDS

Our exams went good and as expected we all scored good marks except Shefali. She was weak in studies but she really worked hard to score good marks. As expected I scored more than 80 and Siyaa scored in 70's.

I was still fixed at my dream of joining NDA and was opting for PCM in eleventh standard. Siyaa and Shefali opted for Commerce. It was a crucial time for us. We were very confused about the schools in which we could get admissions. We went to different schools to check their admission criteria for commerce and science. In which ever school, I went, I first checked the criteria for commerce and then for PCM so that Siyaa and I could be in the same school. But I was not aware what she wanted. I use to tell her about the schools I visited and their criteria and all other details to her.

One day while talking, she asked me, " Do you know that Shefali is getting admitted in VPS Public School?"

VPS Public school was in Vikaspuri and it was not that good. The students there were always involved in fights or some irrelevant activities. I really didn't like that school.

I almost screamed, " Is she mad ? That school is not good."

"Yaar with this percentage she won't get any good school.", she politely replied.

I protested, " She can get much better schools than this one. I'll talk to her. She will definitely not refuse what I ask her to do."

She replied in a very low tone, " Ayyan I have talked to her many times, but she is not listening to anyone. And you know what? SHE WANTS ME TO JOIN HER."

" Don't you dare join that school. I don't want you to get into troubles." I almost shouted.

Nervously, she replied, " Troubles? What kind of troubles? "

I was trying to convince her not to join that school, but she didn't agree. She wanted to go with Shefali and she did that. Both of them asked me to join too so that we three could be together. But I was too stubborn to listen to them. I didn't join, because I wanted my dream to come true and in that school, I couldn't have achieved anything.

I finally got admitted in ITL PUBLIC SCHOOL in Dwarka, which changed my life. I was aware of the school, as it was a great school and was among the top ten schools in that area. In ITL Public two of my good friends from SPC joined me, Naman and Pulkita. Both were my friends from the time of pre-nursery. So I was not that worried and scared about the new environment of the school. I informed all my friends about my admission and got positive response from everyone, but Siyaa was not that happy to hear that because we were separated now and there were no chance of meeting frequently.

******************************

We four were sitting at PVR Vikaspuri, Me, Dhruv, Siyaa and Shefali. We were sitting and talking about our new schools, meanwhile I signalled Dhruv to take Shefali away, as I wanted to talk to Siyaa alone. So he took her to get something to eat. We two were left alone, facing each other on the stairs of gaming zone. Infront of us few kids were playing air-hockey and one of their friends was clicking their photograph. No one else was there, it was empty and I was waiting for such a moment where I could spend a few moments with the love of my life.

The environment between me and Siyaa was quiet low as we were separated and were not able to meet frequently. The only medium of contact between us, was our cell phone.

" Why are you spoiling your life? You can get much better schools than this."

She looked into my eyes, held my hand and said, " Ayyan look, name of the school in not bad, bad are the students studying there and with those bad students there will be many good ones too. As long as I have Shefali and you, I don't want anyone else in my life.'

" But..." I was about to speak, but she interrupted and said " Why are you so worried, I'll be fine there."

I kept quiet.

She continued, " Don't you dare to forget me or stop talking to me ever."

I smiled and unknowingly said, " How can I forget the first crush of my life."

She was shocked, her beautiful eyes were wide open and they were staring me, and she nervously asked me, " What did you say?"

I looked into her eyes, held her hand more tightly and said, " Yes, I love you. I love you more than you can imagine." While saying this my heart paced faster, I got goosebumps and my legs were shivering due to nervousness. I don't know why I was so afraid to tell her about my feelings. It was because maybe I did not want to lose her.

I was waiting for her to say something, but she was looking at my face in utter shock. She was looking so cute while she was staring at me with that expression. It seemed that she would hug me and say why did you take so much of time to say this. But nothing like that happened, instead she replied very calmly " Ayyan, we are friends, actually best friends but I haven't thought about you like that, and moreover after Ayush's incident I don't want to be in a relationship with anyone. I don't want to spoil our friendship."

I was upset to hear that yet I smiled. She continued, "Can you see that girl. If we get committed, she will kill me."

She was talking about Shefali. I asked her how could she have a problem with me and Siyaa getting together. She told me that Shefali still liked me. Things were getting complex and I didn't understand what was happening.

" If I don't like her, how can I get committed to her. I am happy with her as a friend only. And I think she too is happy with a guy, she is with now."

" Yes, you are right but she still feels for you. And I can't ditch my best friend like this."

Having said this, she asked me to end this topic then and there and also warned me not to tell any of this to Shefali.

I agreed, " But I can't stop loving you. Please don't ever leave me alone. We may not get in a relationship, I still want you, to always be with me as my best friend."

********************

6. NEW SCHOOL

Everyone was excited for the new start in their life. New school, new friends, new teachers, new environment, new uniform and specially new girls.

When I got admitted in this school, all my friends were like, "Dude, you'll going to enjoy there a lot." " Dude, girls in that school are too hot." All this just kept fueling my excitement.

Since I was working out, I had already reduced a lot of weight and was able to develop a little bit of muscles, my dressing had also improved.

It was the first day in ITL Public. I got ready and was waiting for my mom to serve me my breakfast. She came to me with my favorite, ' Alloo ka Parantha' and milk shake. The moment she looked at me, she was stunned.

" Son, where are you going? School or Circus? "

I looked cluelessly at her. Trousers hanging down my waist, half sleeve shirt folded away from their usual length, loosened tie and shirt half out of the trousers. Mom shouted at me and asked me to tuck my shirt properly, unfold my sleeves, pull my tie up. Then Dad came and asked to drop me at school. When I was sitting beside him, I felt like a nursery class student going to school for the first time.

I was a little bit nervous because it was completely a new place for me, but I was relieved thinking about Naman and Pulkita being there with me. Naman, I knew him from the time I was six years old. He used to be an irritating guy with big eyebrows and curly hair. But he was very loving and caring and a very good friend of mine. And Pulkita, I knew her from the time I started my school life. We were in the same class and were always competing with each other. She was a little arrogant till the time you completely got to know her. She was a caring girl with lovely eyes, long hair and cute smile. But, the show stealer were the dimples on her face.

We were in the same coaching center too. We use to spend more time together in coaching center than in school. She was always late, if a class started at five thirty in the evening and she would always enter at six and that too when I called and asked her where she was. Friends used to say that we were dating each other.

****************

As soon as Dad dropped me outside the school gate, my sleeves were again folded and tie was pulled down. When I walked through the school campus everyone was staring at me like, I have come from some other planet. The moment I realized the crowd's weird looks, I rolled out my sleeves and pulled up my tie. I entered my new class Eleventh- A and was trying to find any familiar face in a bunch of thirty six new faces. I was searching for Naman. He too opted for non-medical with computer science where as Pulkita opted for commerce.

There he was, last row, second bench. I made my way to him, shook hands and the first thing i asked him was, "How is it?"

He smiled and said check it out yourself.

Suddenly someone banged on our bench and said," Hi, I am Harsh, ' The Harsh Vardhane'."

I was surprised why he used ' The' before his name. I looked at him, shook hands and greeted him with a "Hello".

He was a little weird guy with big spectacles, healthy body and his hair. I noticed, while introducing himself, he used to roll his front hair repeatedly as if trying to make a helical design out of it .I also observed him doing that while thinking deeply.

" Why are you sitting here? Come, we'll sit there. I am also new to this school and we can sit together." Naman and I joined him and went to the other corner of the class.

As he introduced himself, I found he was a very studious guy and topper of his school. He was weirdly funny. Behind us a girl was sitting, I looked at her, she was lost in her book. I didn't check what she was reading and wondered why was she studying on the very first day of school? So I asked her.

"You fool can't you see it is a novel. ", she howled.

I didn't utter a word and looked ahead and asked Harsh, "Who is she?"

She was also a fresher, so he was also unaware. The Introductions began.

Harsh introduced himself and he was again rolling his front hair. It seemed like it was his antennas, which caught signals that enabled him to speak. It was my turn to speak, I introduced myself confidently though I was a little skittish. Now it was the turn of the girl sitting behind me. She introduced herself as Ridham. It was a sweet name but the girl was too arrogant.

It was recess and I went to see Pulkita. I was keen to know how was her day going. I was standing with Pulkita in the corridor, many students passed us. Few had rolled their chappatis so that they could walk and eat. Few groups were teasing one of their pals. Meanwhile, I saw Ridham coming towards me with one of her friends. I smiled at her. She didn't even look at me and passed by. I was getting furious what kind of a girl is she? She was going to be my classmate for the next two years and she is behaving like this arrogantly.

**********************

My first day at ITL Public was quite good as I ended up making few new friends. Though all of them were boys, but they were very nice. As soon as I reached home, I checked my cell phone for Siyaa's text. There was nothing so I texted her, " How was your day in that new environment?"

She didn't reply.

I waited, waited and waited, but she didn't reply. I was lost in thoughts of how her first day would be. May be her first day was bad or something had happened. I was tensed, so I called her.

"Hi.. Where were you? And why were you not replying? "

"I was sleeping. What happened? Why are you so tensed?" She asked me still half asleep.

" Ummm.. Nothing, I just wanted to know how your first day was and your new friends?"

" It was nice. Everyone here is nice and I and Shefali are up making new friends too. How was yours? "

" It was a great day. I met many new people, they are studious as well as fun-loving. I think I'll enjoy their company, and you know what there are not many girls in our class. They are only six in thirty boys."

She replied naughtily, " It is good for me. "

" What? How is it good for you?"

She tried to defend herself, " It's good because you'll not interact with many of them and there would be less chances of you forgetting me."

I replied in the same manner, " Someone is getting possessive now. "

"SHUT UP!!! It is nothing like that." She almost shouted.

" Now listen Saturdays are off for me, so I'll get to meet you."

"Yuppieeeeeeeee..!!! " She screamed.

She had just woken up, so we didn't talk much and hung up. Now I was again lost in her thought. Is she really getting possessive? Did she like me? These questions drew me towards her even more. And by now I was madly in love with her.

******************

A week passed and till now I didn't find anyone interesting except Harsh. He was such a weird and a fun loving guy. He used to act like he is a grown up man, but always failed to do so. We started sitting together in school and he would always do something which would make anyone give him a weird look. His favorite character used to be ' Popat Lal Chaurasiya'. In our English lecture whenever we were asked to do any writing section, he would always mention

" Popat Lal Chaurasiya

Paan Wala, Near FITJEE,

Dwarka Sec-4,

New Delhi"

Behind us, two girls used to sit. Among them, one was Ridham. Earlier we had a very bad start, so Harsh tried to tease her with his mischievous acts. When she used to get irritated she used to shout at him and always leave the class.

First, I tried to stop him from doing all this, but later I too joined him.

I recalled one my friends telling me, " First, try your best to stop bad things. But, if you don't succeed to do so, then join who all are doing that."

So I did the same.

I too started teasing her. She used to sit beside the window and after every five minutes, one by one I and Harsh used to ask her to open and close the window. We continued doing this for more than a week and she was fed up and tired of getting angry. One day at recess time I was sitting alone in class and was struggling with the concepts of moles and molecular masses. I was weak in chemistry and was trying to understand concepts.

Ridham came to me and said, "Ayyan what is your problem? "

"Chemistry"

"I am not talking about this, I am talking about you and Harsh. Why do you guys always tease me?"

I just kept grinning at her. She waved her hand in front of my eyes.

I instantly replied, " I am not sleeping. I am just thinking what to comment on this, because I have no words. We just want you to be our friend and nothing else."

She smiled and said, " You should find a better way to do that and believe me it is not that difficult to be my friend."

We both looked at each other and laughed.

7. POSSESSIVENESS

Time was running very fast and we found ourselves getting more busy by the day. School, tuitions then back to home at night. In eleventh and twelfth everyone use to have two or three tuitions to cope up with their studies. We hardly found time for ourselves. I succeeded in making up a good friend circle in ITL Public. We were all back benchers and fun loving guys among them those were Naman, Harsh, Hemant, Sarath, Abhi, Shabhang, Divyam, Ridham and Siddhi. Ridham and Siddhi were like my sisters and I loved sharing everything with them and they reciprocated it.

After my school and three tuitions of physics, chemistry and maths, I took out time to talk to Siyaa. I used to text her, call her daily, but the things were not same now. She didn't feel much interested and joyful while talking to me. She was mostly upset and I knew why. She was missing St. Peter's and all her friends and she was not feeling comfortable in her new school. Though she had found many new friends but, boys there always use to tease her and pass comments on her. It was very difficult for her to adjust there. Even her batchmates used to tease her by saying, " Don't say anything to her, otherwise her boyfriend Ayyan will come and will fight with you."

***************

Few weeks back, when I went to meet Siyaa outside her school, one of the guys from her school passed some vulgar comment on her and I was so possessive about her that I went to fight with that guy. The fight led to some bloodshed, our clothes were torn and our language was disastrously ugly. And Siyaa, she was trying to stop me and the moment she started crying, I stopped. I was holding that guy from his collar and my fist was near his face, my eyes were on Siyaa and her tears. That guy took on the lead and started beating me and this time I was not defending myself because I was still looking at her tears. Then, few people came and somehow managed to stop the fight.

I went to Siyaa, my nose was bleeding, I had a big wound on my left arm and my shirt was torn out. I was trying to calm her down and asking her to stop crying. For around ten minutes she didn't even listen to me and asked me to leave. But I was too stubborn to listen to her. I went and sat on my bike and was watching her continuously, I didn't blink once. Some time passed and she came to me and shouted, "Why the hell are you doing all this?" Till this time all the students had already left. It was an empty street, just left us there. I didn't answer her because I wanted her to understand my feelings herself, so I remained quiet. She looked at me with her beautiful eyes, held my chin, turned it to check where I was hurt. I squealed in pain, shouted and asked her to leave.

" Now just keep quiet and let me check." She scolded and cleaned my blood with her handkerchief.

I remained quiet but my heart so stupid that it didn't listen to me. It started shouting loudly, I was quiet and enjoyed the moment. She was touching where I was hurt, cleaning it and blowing air from her mouth. Every time she was touching me, I was getting turned on. A different sensation was running through my body. I was looking at her face, her glowing skin, beautiful eyes and her pink lips. She was very close to me and was inspecting my wounds. She was hardly inches away from me. We had an eye contact for a moment and I hugged her tightly.

We again looked at each other and this time I kissed her. My lips were on her lips just for five to ten seconds and we broke apart. She felt uncomfortable and took a step behind, She looked embarrassed. I too was regretting that. We didn't utter a word. She immediately left.

I was standing there all alone, in that lonely street looking at her going away from me. My eyes were following her until she was far away. I was thinking about her and about what all happened. I was wondering, what I did was right to do or not?

I regretted kissing her, so I texted her, " I am sorry for today. I really did not want to do that, but it suddenly happened."

She didn't reply for one week.

*********************

I was missing her badly. Every second was spent, thinking about her. I use to text her daily, " Siyaa please talk to me. I am really very sorry for all that.", " I am missing you. Please forgive me."

But she didn't turn up.

I tried a lot to talk her, but all went in vain. So I made a prank to let her talk to me. I texted her, " Hi Friends. This is my last week in Delhi. On 31st of this month I'll be leaving for Bangalore. My whole family is shifting to Bangalore, for forever. I will miss you all."

The text was exclusively for her, but I wrote it in such a manner which would make her feel that it was meant for all.

Within a minute she called me and started shouting, " Ayyan what nonsense is this. Are you serious about all this."

I replied very rudely, " Why are you so concerned about all this, when you don't even want to talk to me."

She burst out in tears, She was crying and shouting at me, " How will I live without you. You are my best friend. Please don't leave me alone. I want to be with you."

I was clueless and never thought that she would react this way. I have never experienced such importance from anyone in my entire life except from my family. I was shocked to see her like this.

I replied to her with chocked voice, " I am never going to leave you alone, whatever the situation is, wherever I am in this entire world. I am not going anywhere. I'll be in Delhi, I will be with you."

She smiled and said, " You are such a bastard. I got your plan now. You are not worth talking. You don't have nothing else to do except hurt me."

I replied, " I am sorry for all that happened."

" I'll forgive you only on one condition, that you'll never come again outside my school to meet me."

"OK", I was upset, but I had to do this to be with her.

8. HEARTBROKEN

I never went to see her outside her school after that day. But now I used to go and see her outside her home whenever I got time. I joined some coaching center near her place. Though it was far away from my house, but I managed to go there. I use to pass by her house and ask her to come in the balcony. And we use to talk through signals standing away from each other. Initially, she was angry at me because I had joined tuitions so far ,but on the other side she was happy because we could see each other daily.

One day while coming back from tuition, when I asked her to come to her balcony, unfortunately she was not at home.

" Ayyan, I am at my aunt's place and it will take more than two hours for me to come back. So you go and we'll meet the next day."

I was too curious to meet her that I refused to go back and asked her, " If I could wait for you how soon can you come."

" Then wait for me and let me see for how long you can wait." She replied deviously.

" Come fast. I am waiting." I said and hung up.

She thought that I was kidding and took her time to come back.

And I, I was sitting outside her house and looking at her balcony, imagining her standing there and drying her hair, as she did on Holi.

After some time, I got a text from her, " What are you doing? I am getting bored over here. My mother and aunt's conversations are lethal for my intellect."

"Still waiting for you." I blushed and replied her back.

She called within few seconds and angrily said, " Are you mad or what? Please go home Ayyan. It will take another half an hour for me to come back. And it is already eighty thirty. Your mom will be waiting for you."

I calmly replied, " Be fast."

I disconnected the call before she could scold me. I was waiting for her and listening to my favourite music in my ipod with my eyes stuck to her balcony. I noticed the lights of her room being switched on.

I instantly texted her, " You didn't take much time to come back."

She replied, " Are you insane?"

She came out on her balcony looking at me while I looked at her. She was too furious, her face turned red in anger. She pointed her finger at me and signalled that ' I am gone.'

I was laughing seeing her angry face and replied, " I Love you, and I am all yours. Do whatever you want to."

This made her more angry and she burst out, " Ayyan we are just friends and you are taking it too far. All this relation and all is not meant for us, at least not between us. And now I think we should stop talking because you are pissing me off from your acts."

She was so angry that she didn't listen to any of my apologies.

**************************

After that day she didn't talk to me. I was badly hurt. I knew that it was my mistake, I wanted to apologize ,but she hardly listened to me. I wanted to cry but could not, I wanted to talk to her but could not. I just wanted her back in my life, as before. I use to text her daily, tried a lot to talk her but nothing happened. My texts went unnoticed, my phone calls were rejected and the rest of the time her phone was busy.

' The number you are trying to call is currently busy.' after more than an hour her phone was still busy. It went on for two weeks. I felt like she has found someone more important than me, I was doubting her, but I didn't want to interfere in her life. My mind was filled with zillions of questions and I wanted an answer, and they could only be answered by Siyaa.

To find answers to a few of my questions, I checked her facebook account. As I had created her account, it could be hacked easily. I checked all her messages. It was filled with her school friends and most of them were boys, who were just trying on her, flirting with her and luckily she was not at all interested to answer those people. I was checking her profile and suddenly I saw a familiar face in her profile. A display picture in which a guy was standing, holding the stair railings from his left hand and making victory sign from his right hand. His name was Prateek.

He was the same guy with whom I had a fight outside her school. I checked her chat with him. I knew I was doing wrong, but I wanted to do this, to get my answers, to know who had replaced me in her life. Their chat left me numb. I lost all my senses and my mind was blank, I felt like someone is drilling a hole in my chest. I was in so much pain that I burst out in tears. While reading their chat I came to know that Siyaa apologized him for my behaviour on that day and since then they were chatting, numbers had been exchanged. And from last month they were in a relationship.

My heart was broken and what hurt me more, was the fact that she broke my trust again. That guy didn't like me at all and he had told Siyaa to stop talking to me. She blindly followed and disrupted all contacts with me. I was getting mad, crying and was in deep pain from within. I was regretting and thinking, why the hell did I come close to her. Why I chose her to love and trust, someone whom I trusted more than myself.

**********************

I was left alone. I wanted to talk to someone. I called Dhruv and asked him to come to my place ASAP. He was there in fifteen minutes. I narrated everything to him. First, he was shocked to hear my story and then he was angry at me for waiting outside her house and later he was trying to console me. He said that he will be talking to her about this but I refused.

"No. I don't want you or anyone else to talk to her. It is her life and I will not interfere in it. I will go away from her. She doesn't deserve any place in my life."

Dhruv was with me for some time and was trying to make up my mind. But I was busy in thinking about her. After Dhruv left I went off to bed and tried to sleep but couldn't. The Whole night my head was dug into my pillow and it was wet with tears. The Next morning I woke up with puffy eyes and an extreme headache. I checked my cell phone to see if there was any text from her. Nothing.

I got ready and left for school the next day. On my way to school I pretended that I was listening to what Naman was saying, but I hardly heard a word. He stopped when he felt that I was lost somewhere and asked, " What happened? Are you ok?"

I didn't listen to this. He held my shoulder and shook me, and asked again. I came out of my dream and was a little horrified and said, " Huh.. What? What happen?"

" Are you fine?"

" Yes.. Yes.. What.. What will happen to me." I stammered and my chocked throat didn't allow me to speak. After a while I started talking to him because I didn't want him or anyone else to know about what I was going through. My entire day in school went like this only. I didn't participate in anything, neither in class nor in any of the other acts. I was sitting on my seat, last in the class on the corner edge alone and was again and again thinking about Siyaa and Prateek.

I went in deep depression. I always wanted to be alone while going to school. I used to sit alone in the corner seat in metro and look at the people around me, different faces some of which were familiar. I use to see many students going to their school accompanying their gang of friends and having fun. While looking at them, I missed the fun which we use to have in St. Peter's, I missed Siyaa.

When I would see a couple sitting in front of me, I would imagine myself sitting with Siyaa, holding her hand and slowly moving towards her ear and whispering, " I love you and I promise, I'll never leave you alone."

Then she will smile and look at me, bend over me, pull my head near her, turn my face and say, " I Love you too."

Suddenly someone shouted my name and I was out of my dream. I shook my head, rubbed my eyes, " Damn it, was just a dream."

Someone again shouted my name. I turned around to see who it was and found Naman had already deboarded. I looked around and realized that it was Dwarka Sec-9 metro station where I had to deboard the train. The gates of the metro were about to close and I jumped out on time and yet got my knees and hand hurt. Everyone on the metro station were staring at us. It was an embarrassing moment for me.

"Asshole! What the hell are you doing? Are you out of your mind? What is the problem with you? I am noticing you from last one month you are always lost somewhere." Naman in great anger shouted at me.

I stood up, cleaned my clothes, smiled and replied very calmly to him, " I was having a dream of someone who can never be mine."

"FUCK YOU!!! Dude, you are talking like a Devdas. Tell me what is the problem. I am noticing you from many days, but today you have to tell me. I can't see you destroying yourself." Naman was too furious and was very much concerned to know what my problem was.

I laughed aloud to cool down the atmosphere and replied, " A non drinking Devdas. Relax dude, nothing like that, when the time comes I'll tell you everything."

" Who is she? "

" You know her very well."

I didn't tell him Siyaa's name and just said, " Wait for the right time, I'll tell you everything."

He agreed at that moment ,but I could sense he wanted to know her name as soon as possible.

****************

My condition was deteriorating day by day. I was getting closer to her memories and farther from everyone. I always kept myself locked in my room and was busy in reading her messages and looking at our pictures. I use to talk to her pictures. It became my daily routine. I was always irritated, if anyone said something to me, I use to shout at them and move back to my room, lock it and sit alone. I fought with my family, skipped meaIs and fought with mom.

"Why don't you eat? It is nine and you didn't have your lunch." Mom asked me in concern.

" I don't want to. I don't feel hungry. You have your dinner."

"If you'll not eat, then I'll also not eat." My mom murmured as she left the room. But before she could leave, I shouted, " What is the problem? I said, I don't want to eat, so please you have your meal."

I could see tears in my mom's eyes. She kept the plate on my table and left angrily with wet eyes. I couldn't bear tears in my mom's eyes. I cried and asked myself, " Why the heck I am hurting everyone?" After a while I wiped my tears, picked up the plate, went to mom and asked her to eat. But she refused. I sat beside her and forced her to eat. Then she slowly asked me, " What has happened to you? Why are so depressed?"

I was clueless and my mind was blank. I could not tell my mom about Siyaa. But I had to make some or the other excuse to answer her questions.

So I replied, " It is nothing like that, I am just worried about my exams. You know that I am flunking in every test, I am just tensed how will I clear my eleventh standard."

She hugged me and said, " Don't worry so much. I know my son will pass and he'll not only pass he'll score good marks. Work hard and you'll get what you want, leaving the food is not the solution. And Please always be happy."

My dad poked me and said, " Leave your girlfriends aside and concentrate on your studies."

I looked at him, embarrassed and said, " What dad? I don't have any girlfriends and I am not interested."

" Not interested and you don't have any girlfriend? Then to whom did you gift those earrings?" My brother Pulkit shouted and everyone laughed.

I was shocked and I flushed. I asked myself, " How did he know that?"

" What? Earrings and me? No way. I have never gifted anything to anyone." I tried to defend myself but my expressions said everything. I was again and again asking, " HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT? "

" Oh really? Should I tell everyone, what happened in Manali?"

Meanwhile, my eldest brother Tanmay interrupted who was busy doing something on the computer, " Leave all this and tell me who is she? "

" What the _____ " It was a shock to me. He had opened my personal folder which I had locked. It contained all my photos from St. Peter's. He showed all my photos to everyone. He stopped on one photo and asked who she was? It was mine and Siyaa's photo in which she was holding my arm and standing very close to me. After looking at that photo anyone would say that she is my girlfriend.

" I... She... She is just a friend of mine." I murmured and looked down. I was too embarrassed. Everyone was making fun of me and teasing me. Suddenly Dad poked me again and said, " She is pretty." He smiled at me and winked. I was hiding my smile and thinking, could I tell everything to Dad? But, NO. What will he think and what he will do, will be beyond expectations. I was sitting like a dumb man and everyone was making fun of me. Later I too joined them and had fun.

I smiled after such a long time and felt good. Family is the one who understands all your worries and problem without letting you know. They smile with you, they'll cry with you and they silently promise that they will always be there with you in all your happy and sad moments.

9. FAKE TRUST

By now, I had decided to study and forget Siyaa. I wanted to stick to my aim, my aim of getting into NDA. But looking back at my class eleventh result, I found it very difficult to make my dream come true. I had passed the eleventh standard, but with very less marks actually, with minimum marks. It was just because I was lost in thinking about Siyaa.

During exams whenever I opened my books, I could never concentrate on my studies. After every five minutes I checked my phone for her call or messages. On finding nothing repeatedly I used to text her or call, but there was no response from her side. In anger, at times I use to throw my phone at the wall and cry. I stayed alone in my room and was always lost.

But now I didn't want anyone else to know that I am upset. I use to keep a fake smile on my face and whenever got teased or irritated by someone, I just warned them instead of fighting. Whenever I met my old friends, they always use to ask me about Siyaa, what all was she doing. Some use to tell me that she never trusted me and was using me which I had already come to know. They even told me that all she did was backbstab me. But I didn't trust any of them, but somewhere this thing rang a bell in my mind.

To check her views about me, I asked Dhruv to talk to her without letting her know that I am with him. One fine day he called her when I was with him.

"Hi Siyaa. How are you? " Dhruv asked her very politely.

" Hi. I am good. How are you? "

" I am fine. Where are you these days. No calls, no messages. Listen ,we are planning to go out on new year, will you join us? "

"Who all are coming? " She asked in concern.

"Everyone. Me, Kanak, Pulkita, Naman, Akshu and Ayyan."

"Ayyan? Please don't talk about him. I don't want to see his face or talk about him."

" Huh? Why? What happened?"

"He is a jerk. I considered him as a friend and he thought that he could date me. That fat ass spoiled my life. He is nothing to me and I don't want to meet him or talk about him." After hearing this from her, I was shattered. First she broke my heart, then my trust, and now my faith that she will ever come back.

" I have decided that what I am, and what I can be." I said to Dhruv angrily, who was fighting with Siyaa when she said all this. After arguing and fighting for more than an hour, he hung up and said, " Dude, she doesn't deserve you. You deserve someone much better than her."

" Dhruv, now I don't want anyone as true love or as true friend. I will show her what I can do and believe me one day she will regret for hurting me like this and would cry in front of me to come back. Then I will show her the changed Ayyan."

10. A NEW LIFE

I was trying to study. I wanted to achieve something to show her what I could do. But I was not able to concentrate, it was not that easy to forget her. It was not that easy to forget what she said about me. We didn't talk after that incident. My birthday went away and she didn't even call me. There was just a text from her wishing me. I used to miss her a lot, but due to my ego, I didn't contact her.

A Few weeks later she changed her contact number and I was not aware. I came to know about her number when all our friends were planning to hang out on New Year. Kanak asked me to ask Siyaa that she was coming or not. I refused that I'll not ask. He took my phone and called her but the number was out of order.He checked her number which he dialled and then came to know that her number had changed and I wasn't aware of it.

Now gradually my love for her was converting in wrath. I didn't want her to be with me even as a friend because she didn't deserve it.

*************

One year passed and till now I was not completely over her. I used to miss her from the bottom of my heart, even after what all she did to me. In this one year I didn't talk to her. I use to pass her messages directly or indirectly from Facebook and mostly it was done through Dhruv's ID. Yeah, I used his ID to talk to her and act like Dhruv is talking to her. But neither did I talk to her directly nor did I see her.

In between all this, I was a complete changed person. I had developed a good personality, I was back to my studies and now I was flirting around as well. I was trying to hit on every girl I use to meet. With some of the girls I was successful too, but I never came that close to any one of them. I was trying to find a new Siyaa in each one of them. But I could not find a girl like her. I was not bothered about the fact that what other people might think about me. All I really cared about was myself and what I wanted to do.

We had a group and we named it CID. We gave each other names as there were in CID and mostly called each other by that name. I was Daya, because of my built and health. We use to take out lunch from each other's bag and finish it in the first period itself and after that we used to act like as if someone had stolen it and try to investigate as CID. We all were close to each other and knew almost everything about one another. When I narrated my story to all of them, they all were amazed and felt bad for me.

"I wish someone could love me as much as you love Siyaa." These were the words from Ridham and Siddhi.

The best part in ITL was playing games on the cell phone and chatting during class, especially in chemistry. Chemistry was the weakest point and I wanted to work hard for it, but it was not that easy, so I left it aside and studied in exams just to score passing marks. It always felt like we were in college. Bunking classes, using phone during lectures, flirting around with every girl and even with some of the young teachers. We used to take extra classes after the school just to try spending some time with the good-looking teachers.

****************************

It was the time in August and my first attempt towards my dream was approaching. In august there was the first chance for me to attempt NDA's entrance exam. In mid of twelfth standard, I appeared for NDA, but I didn't get much time to prepare for it because of my annual exams. I tried my best to clear it, but was not successful. I failed to clear it. Now I was left with one more chance to appear for it, in next April.

It was November, our school had almost finished and we were doing self study back in our homes. Sometimes we visited each other's place to have combine studies. Me, Harsh and Naman were at Harsh's place and were discussing about Aldehydes and Formeldehydes. Harsh received a call from one of his IIT coaching's friend and was asking about one of the toughest questions asked in their IIT coaching test.

These questions were out of my reach. Even by looking at those questions I used to forget everything Harsh taught me in Chemistry few minutes back. Solving them will be a dream for me, I was not a genius or intelligent as Harsh was, I was an average student.

Harsh hung up his call and asked me, " Which entrance exam you are applying for? "

" Dude, I have applied only for NDA and AIEEE."

Harsh freaked out and shouted, " WTF!! Are you crazy? Only these two will not work. You have to apply for more engineering colleges."

" But I am not interested in doing engineering because there are lots and lots of engineers who are jobless. It is like boom of engineers passing out every year and at last they suffer to earn well. I want to join NDA, Defence service and wanted to do something which makes my parents feel proud of me."

" Ok, fine, don't apply for engineering colleges, but you can go for Merchant Navy. Just apply for it in case you don't go through, you would have a good choice."

" Merchant Navy? But... " I was trying to speak, but he again continued, " No If's and buts. You have to only give one more entrance exam. And believe me Merchant Navy is nowhere less than NDA. You'll get almost same uniform as in Navy, same respect and much better salary. You'll be roaming around the world free of cost. And the main difference between the Indian Navy and Merchant Navy is that one belongs to the government sector and works to defend and other deals with the private sector and works to carry goods from one place to another around the world.

" But, I am not sure that my parents will allow me to go for it or not."

" If they can allow you for NDA then they'll allow you for this also."

The very next day I searched for the Maritime institutes in India and I found the Indian Maritime University (IMU), Samundra Institute of Maritime Studies, and few more maritime institutes' information and criteria details. I filled all the forms for Merchant Navy.

Now, we all were patiently waiting for our board exams and for our new journey of life.

******************

It was two days before the starting of year 2012. I was standing in the market to get momos for my elder brothers. It's freezing cold in Delhi during New Year. Everyone is covered with warm sweater and jackets, their heads covered with caps, toes hidden inside their shoes. Many people were waiting for momos seller to serve them hot momos with red chili sauce.

My phone beeped.

It was a message from an unknown number which showed," Hi.. How are you? "

"Who are you? " I replied back without looking at the number.

The number seemed familiar to me. I looked at the number third time. " 95600.. 95600*****... Ummm.. Oh fuck!!" It was Siyaa's number. My heart had already started beating faster. My face became red.

My phone beeped again.

"A friend of yours. "

"I don't have any friend. Just tell me your name." I replied angrily pretending that I don't know who she was.

" Ahhaan..!! Busy? Now you don't have five minutes for me? " She replied me back.

I didn't forget what had happened with me. I was angry, I didn't want to talk to her, so I replied, " Listen who-so-ever you are. Don't disturb me. I am very busy. Just tell me your name."

She replied again with the same teasing mood, " Terko irritate karne mein toh maza aata hai."

" FUCK OFF. And don't you dare to text me again."

" I am Siyaa."

I didn't reply to her after this. As I was updated with what all was going on in her life. She was very lonely now. None of her friends were with her. She was all alone and even her relation was not going on smooth terms. I didn't give a second thought about her and got busy with my work. After few hours Dhruv called me. They had planned to go out on New year as every year.

I conformed him about who all were coming.

His toned changed to little sweet and teasing, " Someone you want to be with."

" Who? "

"Siyaa. This time she is also coming and you know what, she has planned this outing."

"Bhai, she'll not come. Every time she used to ditch at the last moment, this time also she'll do the same."

"NO, this time she won't."

I had a bet with Dhruv that she will not come. but from inside I wanted to lose the bet. It's been eleven months that I hadn't seen her. And I wanted to see her, talk to her and ask her why did she do all this to me. I told Dhruv about the texting incident. He scolded me very badly for behaving like this. But this didn't bother me.

********************************

The first morning of 2012 was quite pleasant. It was a chilling cold morning and there was happiness all around in the environment. I woke up at seven in the morning and saw my Dad already awake and searching for the newspaper. My mom and grandma were in the kitchen and were cooking my favorite ' Gajjar ka halwa '. I could feel its delicious taste on my tongue through the fragrance in the air.

Both my brothers were still sleeping and in sleep they were fighting with each other for the blanket as my Dad was trying to wake them up by putting his cold hands under their shirts. It was very funny, looking at their pity faces when they woke up and said, " Dad, it is still seven. Let us sleep for five more minutes."

" You guys are waking up or should I put a bucket full of water on you?"

I was standing and giggling, immediately I went to the bathroom, took a mug full of water and said, " Dad here it is. Go ahead. " and winked at him.

Both of them were looking at me from under their blankets angrily and giving a " You are gone" look. Mom entered the room with the bowls full of delicious halwa. And we all jumped up to sit and have it without brushing our teeth. But mom didn't serve us until we were got freshen up. It was a good family morning with the occasion of New Year, with the delicious halwa.

It was eight and I rushed to get ready for my early morning maths class. It was our twelfth standard and boards were about to come, so our maths tuition teacher Virmani Sir called us for our class on the first day of January. And it was a math class so I didn't want to miss it because of my deep interest in maths.

***************

Our class started on time and everyone was looking too tired and sleepy to attend the class, maybe because everyone was partying all night and celebrating the end of 2011 and starting of 2012. We wished each other a Happy New Year and touched our sir's feet to take his blessings.The class started and the topic going on was Differential Equations. It was not that a difficult topic for me, I was busy in solving questions written on the board and was questioning my doubts to sir.

The moment I was discussing a problem with sir, my phone rang. At first I ignored it, but it rang again, so I dragged it out of my pocket to check who was it. It was from Siyaa. I was looking at the screen flabbergasted, thinking why was she calling me so early in the morning.

" Ayyan? Ayyan? If you are over with your cell phone shall we proceed?" Sir called me twice and I looked at him with a scared look

"Sorry Sir." I apologized, disconnected the call and got back to my books, but I was still thinking why she called me. Even at that moment I forgot that she might have called me for wishing New Year. Our class ended late from the usual time and we all fellow mates were standing outside the tuition gate and were planning to go for Kachoris at Bikaner corner. My phone rang and it was her again. I didn't pick up at first. I went far from my friends and picked up after a few bells.

" Happy New Year Basanti. Where were you? Why were you not picking my call? Are you coming today?"

"Wish you the same and I was in class so didn't pick your call."

"KITNA PADTHA HAI TU?" She shouted and started laughing. She continued, " Today also you had class, great. I think this time also, you can teach me. Will you?"

I could sense the childish tone in her voice when she asked me that, and was trying to make fun of me. I replied her, " Sure." and hung up the call.

**********************************

Me and Dhruv were standing at the Janakpuri East metro station and waiting for Siyaa and all others to come. I was looking out from the station towards the roads and cars passing in a bulk, towards thier destination and was lost in my deep thoughts, " How should I behave with her?", " Should I question her, why she did all that to me? ", "Should I hug her and tell her that I missed her every second?" I was excited to meet her and was thinking about what to talk her. I turned a little and looked towards the entry gate of metro station.

I saw a slim and hot girl coming towards us in black trousers and white top with a black jacket over it which was tightly fitted to her body through which her curves and perfect figure was highlighted. Her curls were falling all over her shoulders. Her fair colour and her dress were contrasting with each other, making her milky skin glow even more. It seemed as if you were looking at the moon in the dark night.

I checked her out from top to bottom, once, twice, thrice. As she was coming near to us she seemed familiar. I rubbed my eyes again and again and was completely lost. It was unbelievable for me she came to me, hugged me and said, " Happy New Year Basanti."

I was staring at her, shocked. After a while my dream broke and I took deep breath and replied," Same to you Siyaa." Yes, she was Siyaa, my Siyaa. I had never seen her look this dazzling before and never imagined her to look so adorable at a the same time. I was completely blank, something chocked me from inside. It was the shock of love. I again fell in love with her. There was no comparison between me and her. She was so outstanding and I was nowhere near her.

" After a long time. Huh? Where were you for so long?"

This one sentence ruined my mood.

" Where was I, or where were you? I broke up the contact or you did? I didn't want to talk to you, or you didn't want to talk to me?" "I insulted you or you did?" I questioned myself but my face spoke for itself. I somehow managed to control my emotions because I wanted to avoid a fight on the very first day of the year.

So I took a step back and replied "lets go, we are getting late." All other friends were to meet us directly at Rajouri Garden. Throughout the route from Janakpuri to Rajouri Garden, I was looking out of the metro and Dhruv and Siyaa were busy talking. Somewhere in between she tried to talk to me, but I was just ignoring her. I didn't even look at her directly. I watched her from the corner of my eye and noticed that she was again and again looking at me. Her looks and her eyes were just killing me. Her behavior towards me always left me in confusion whether she liked me or not?

We deboarded the metro and she was just ahead of me, I pulled Dhruv behind and whispered in his ears, "Dude ask her not to stare me. Its killing me."

He said, " Enjoy the moment." and gave me a wicked look.

I was left all clueless and only one question was struck in my mind, what the hell is this going on? I was all confused. After few minutes of waiting at Rajouri Garden metro station, all others joined us. Pulkita, Kanak, Naman, Akshu, Dhruv, me and Siyaa, we all were back to our school days and our mischievous acts. In between all this Siyaa was trying to come closer to me and I was just ignoring her and was trying to make her fell what I had gone through. When all others were busy in clicking pictures, Siyaa came to me and politely said, " Why are you ignoring me? Don't you want to talk to me?"

I was blank, I didn't understand what to say. When she asked me again, I replied, "I just don't want to fall for you again. So it is better for me to stay away from you."

" I am sorry. I know as many times as I apologize it will be nothing in front of your love. But can't we just remain as before, at least for today?" She got upset after looking at me after saying all this.

But her innocent face didn't work in front of my broken heart and betrayed friendship. "I'll try", I replied and left to join other people.

*****************

" Hey guys! Let's go to the scary house. It will be fun." Kanak shouted and walked in the direction of scary house. And we all excitedly followed him.

But someone among us was scared to go in. Siyaa was scared to go in that haunted game. She came to me and whispered in my ear, " I am scared, I'll not go."

I turned, looked into her eyes and said, " Don't worry I am with you. It is just a game and we will be there for hardly ten minutes. Come, let's go."

Kanak and Akshu went to buy the tickets and meanwhile we were standing in the queue, all excited. They showed seven tickets to the ticket checker and he allowed us to move in.

While moving in Siyaa was standing after Pulkita and behind her was me. Siyaa shouted, " Pulkita let me come forward, I want to go in with Ayyan."

She came near to me, held my hand. Her fingers intertwined with mine and she nervously said, "Please don't leave me alone."

I smiled and murmured, " Never in my life, I'll do that."

Her soft touch was turning me on. Her sweetness towards me was converting my anger into love. Her behavior towards me was making wild horses of thoughts run untamed in my mind. What is she up to?

We were out of the scary house and yet, half an hour later we were still holding hands. Neither I left nor she. The grip between our hands were so tight that we forgot where we were. We were roaming all around the mall like a couple, holding each other.

All of us went to the food court of that mall and Siyaa sat next to me. Everyone ordered for themselves. I ordered for noodles.

"Siyaa, what you will have?" Naman asked her.

"Umm.. I will share with Ayyan. I, too, love noodles." She responded and looked at me.

I took out my phone and got busy in doing something. Our food was served and everyone was enjoying their meals but I was busy chatting with Ridham.

" Why are you not eating?" Siyaa asked me.

"I'll... I'll just take it, let me just type this message."

"You are impossible. Wait, I'll feed you. " She said like she was my mom and started feeding me with her own spoon.

I was completely out of my mind and I forgot what I was typing to Ridham and ended up sending her, " I love you Siyaa."

It felt too good to get fed from Siyaa's hands. She took one bite herself and gave one to me and this went on. I was loving it. All our friends were shocked to see us except Dhruv, as he was aware of everything. Our day passed with a great fun, especially for me because I spent such a loving day with Siyaa.

At the time of leaving, my eyes were stuck to her. I was staring at her from the corner of my eyes, and she was doing the same. Our eyes met many times but we looked away. After a few seconds my eyes were back on her.

I didn't want this day to end. I wish, I could stop time and always be with her. I was unaware of the future.

As soon as I reached home, I texted her, "You were looking outstanding today."

In no time she replied me back, " Thank you. :) "

" Thank you for a wonderful day."

" NO, Thanks to you. I wish we could be as early. Ayyan I need you. I missed you so much."

I was sitting with all my family and watching television. After reading this text from her, tears started rolling down my eyes. I took a book and hid my face in it so that no one could see. I escaped from that room and wiped my tears.

After a few minutes I replied her back, " I missed you more than you missed me."

*************

11. END OF SCHOOL LIFE

It was the time of boards and every student was busy in studying. All were pressurized from everywhere from parents, teachers, brothers, sisters, and even from their extended friends. It was twelfth standard board exams and getting less marks meant catastrophe. I was lost in books, studying day and night. Whenever I took a break, I checked my phone and Facebook. Nothing but board exams and NDA's entrance exam was there on my mind.

It was my last chance to appear for NDA and make my dream come true. So I was busy in preparing for it mentally and physically. By this time all my concentration was on studies. I almost forgot about Siyaa, that I loved her and what all happened between us until we would talk.

We hardly talked once or twice in a week, but whenever we talked, it was as if we had never stopped.

" Tomorrow is our first exam and I have not studied anything."  
" Why? What were you doing these days?" Siyaa almost shouted at me.

"I was preparing something else and tomorrow is the first of march if you remember." I replied.

" Achaaaaa ji? So what were you preparing for? Huh?" She asked naughtily as she thought that I was preparing for her birthday.

" I was preparing Chemistry, I am too weak in it." I teased her, controlling my laughter.

She got upset and replied in a very low tone, " Nice. But now go and study English. It is still not that late. And if you need, I'll explain you all the summaries in short."

"No thanks, I'll manage. Bye"

I replied and hung up by saying that I want to study, but actually I was preparing for her birthday. I bought a cup, with her and my pictures printed on it, a T-shirt on which it was written, " Happy Birthday." I had decided to have a night stay at Dhruv's place to study with him. That was what I told my parents but in reality I was going somewhere else.

At midnight, I called Siyaa, to wish her.

" Siyaa I want to show you something."

" Yeah, tell me what is it? "

" No, No, not like this. First, go to your balcony and see the moon, there is a magic in today's night."

She didn't agree at first. But after insisting for some time she finally went out.

"HELLO" I shouted. I was standing out there, wearing that T-shirt which I got for her and in one hand holding that cup and in other hand red roses.

"Whaaaaa..." She almost screamed to see me.

I signalled her to speak slowly because it was midnight and I didn't want anyone else to see me like this.

She wisphered, " What are you doing here at this time? "

" Do I need to say something? Happy birthday, my best friend. " I smiled and bent down on my knees to wish her and propose her.

" Siyaa, I want your every birthday, actually not only birthday, I want all your days to be full of excitement and care. I want you to be smiling always and I would love to be the reason behind your every happiness. I really love you my stupid Veeru."

She was all stunned to see me like this and was standing on her balcony with her mouth and eyes wide open.

"Ayyan this is so sweet." She blushed and was staring at me with her lovely eyes. She continued, " You go home. We'll talk tomorrow after the exam. Now please leave and thank you so much for such a lovely gift."

I went back to Dhruv's house, hiding all my gifts in his car. Though I was upset because she didn't say anything about my proposal. Maybe she didn't like it.

Next day, was my exam and I didn't sleep for a single minute. I was trying to study but her cute face was not allowing me to concentrate. I was busy thinking about her all night. In morning, I slept at six for an hour and got ready to leave for my exam. Within half an hour I tried to revise everything as it was English exam, so I was not at all worried. I touched everybody's feet before leaving for the exam and texted Siyaa good luck. My exam went well and I was back home, I was very tired and as soon as I lay on my bed I went to sleep. I woke up in the evening. The moment I woke up, I checked my phone.

Crap! It was seven in the evening. I had slept for so long. There were five missed calls and ten messages from Siyaa. One by one read all the messages. " How was your exam? ", " Mine was good. May be I'll score more than ninty.", " Where are you? ", "Didn't your exam go well? "

The moment I finished reading all her messages I called her.

She picked up, before the second bell could ring and before I could speak anything she shouted on me, " Where the hell were you? How was your exam? Why were you not replying or answering my calls? "

I was still half asleep and was yawning. I replied in a sleepy voice, " I was sleeping." I rubbed my eyes and yawned again.

" How can you sleep for so long? "

" I didn't sleep last night."

"Whatever"

" Now tell me how was your exam?

"It went well." I could still sense the anger in her voice.

" And your birthday? " I asked her, just to start a conversation and calm her down.

" Normal. I didn't celebrate it. "

"Why?"

"I don't want to celebrate it. Listen, I have to go I will talk to you later."

" But.."

She disconnected the call before I could speak anything.

I tried calling her again, but her phone was switched off. I knew that something had happened to her, but she didn't want to tell me or maybe she didn't like my behavior last night. I too didn't want to ask her because if she'll tell me, she would get more upset and she might cry.

**************

Our exam ended on 29th March. It went well and I was expecting more than eighty percent score. Now my main concern was clearing my NDA exam, which was on 15 April, not much time was left to prepare for it. On the other hand all my friends' exams went well, some were expecting more than 90's and some were expecting between 80-90%. And Siyaa was expecting between 70 to 80%.

After that day we didn't talk much, maybe because of that night or maybe because of exams. I didn't try to talk to her much. After our exams ended my favorite pass time was either working out in the gym or surfing internet. Once, while surfing on Facebook I found Siyaa online and tried to talk to her.

" Hi Veeru. How are you?"

" I am fine and you?"

" I am good. Let's plan something for this weekend."

"Shall we go to Adventure Island?"

" I would love to. I'll talk to everyone else and inform you till tomorrow."

"Ayyan may I ask you something?"

" Yes. What is it? "

" Do you like me? "

What happened to her? Suddenly why is she starting this topic? I thought to myself. That day I was in a mood of doing something mischievous. So I got cheesy and replied, " More than anything in this world."

"Then why didn't you tell me? "

"Woah!! Siyaa how many times have I proposed you and still you are asking this silly question? If you want I can announce to the whole world, that I LOVE YOU." I didn't give a thought to her question and replied.

Her next question gave me a shock, " Will you hold my hand and come close to kiss me?"

I was clueless at this. I was thinking what had happened to her and what the hell is she talking about.

I asked her the same, " Who are you? "

The moment I pressed the send button my phone started ringing and it was from her.

" Hello? Siyaa, what rubbish are you talking about? "

" You just shut up and tell me what the hell are you chatting on Facebook? " She screamed at me in anger. She didn't give me a chance to explain or say something, and she again burst out on me.

" Don't you dare to chat with me on Facebook ever. You ruined everything. I got Prateek back after two months and again, you put your leg in my life and destroyed it."

" Prateek?" I was shocked to hear his name because she told me that she broke up with him and, she also told me that she'll never to talk him. I again asked her, my voice almost shivering, " Prateek? But.."

She again started shouting," Shut up. You have spoiled everything. It was Prateek who was chatting with you. I have convinced him that there was nothing like that."

"But at least... " I was about to speak, but she disconnected the call.

I went back to Facebook and checked her messages. There was no reply from the other side.

I tried to handle the situation by messaging her, " Lol. Scared or what? Happy April fools day dumbo. Everyone has tried to make a fool of you on the first of April but no one was successful. And April has not yet ended.

I sat there, holding my knees and thinking to myself, " What was my fault?"

After some time she called me again and this time Prateek was also on conference.

Prateek and I didn't need an introduction because we were known to each other by Siyaa. She had told a lot about me to Prateek and, more than that to me about him.

I tried to be normal, and before they both would say anything, I said, " Prateek there is nothing like that. I was just kidding. I don't have any feelings for her. And she loves you a lot."

He didn't reply. Then I said to Siyaa, " I am sorry for everything."

She replied, " Ayyan it's ok. But next time before playing any prank, think twice. And everything is sorted out now, so relax."

I tried hard to control my anger, but could not. The next morning I was thinking about that only. I went out for jogging. I was running very fast. I completed 8 kilometres in thirty minutes. My legs were paining, my breath was tried out, but I was still running. I was running, running and running.

I felt as if something was flowing out of my nose. While running, I tried to clean it up and saw blood, my nose was bleeding. It was due to excess of running, my heart beats had increased and due to the tremendous increase in blood pressure my nose veins had burst and blood had started flowing out. But I didn't stop. My mind was bursting in anger and my heart was hurt. In front of that pain my physical pain was nothing. By that time someone saw me and asked me to stop. He took me to the doctor and got my nose dressed. I could not refuse him, because he was one of my Dad's friend and I didn't want anyone to start asking questions. After that day I didn't talk to her until something interesting happened to me, which changed my life.

12. GOODBYE DELHI

I didn't get good marks in IIT and AIEEE. Even, I was aware that I will not get good marks. I was waiting for NDA's and IMU's result now and I really wanted any one of these to be cleared. IMU's CET result was about to be declared. I was checking IMU's website after every half an hour to check the result and side by side I was using Facebook. I had informed Harsh that IMU's result is to be announced and my fingers are crossed.I was having my lunch and was not able to swallow even a single bite due to tension.

My phone rang and it was Harsh, " Dude, this weekend we want a big treat from you. Your rank is 48 All Over INDIA."

"Harsh I am already very nervous. Don't play pranks with me."

"Go and checked it yourself, asshole." He shouted at me.

And when I checked it myself, I was dancing like a mad man. Harsh was saying the truth, I had 48 AIR rank. I informed my parents about my result and took their blessings. My mom's eyes were wet to my success. Everyone was extremely happy to know that I finally made it. Everyone congratulated me.

In IMU's counselling I got SAMUNDRA INSTITUTE OF MARITIME STUDIES, Lonavla.

Merchant Navy is nowhere less than Navy. It is the second toughest job in the entire world. I was feeling very proud that now I'll be a part of such an honorable and respectful field.

**************

It was my last month is Delhi and I had informed everyone that I would be leaving Delhi on 2nd August. I had texted Siyaa, " I have been selected for Merchant Navy and will be leaving Delhi on 2nd August."

She didn't reply and I was not bothered about her either. I was busy in completing all the online forms and details which were necessary. My last month was passing very soon,I counted every day. It was very hard to count the number of days left with family and friends with whom I had spent eighteen years of my life. My last day in Delhi came and my excitement was increasing every second.

When I woke up in the morning there was some different fragrance in the air. Everyone was behaving a little strange. Special dishes were made, Dad allowed me to sleep late in the morning and even left his car for me to drive. Grandma was again and again asking me not to go so far away from home, my brothers were not fighting with me. From morning my friends were texting me, calling me to meet for the last time.

For the complete day I was busy in meeting all my friends and packing my bags. I used to put one stuff in my bag and one of my friends called me to meet. They were standing outside my house, we stood there and were talking for more than an hour. I returned back to my packing, then again, my phone rang. At that moment, I felt my importance among my friends and family.

I wrote a last text to all my friends-

" Hey guys.

It's time to say goodbye as today is my last day in Delhi and tomorrow I'll be leaving for Lonavla. And I am very sorry to inform you that I'll not be able to remain in contact with anyone as in my training institute cell phones and laptops are not allowed.

You all will be missed very much.

You can leave a message on my Facebook or yahoo ID, which I'll be checking on Sundays by visiting any internet cafe.

BYE, TAKE CARE."

I checked out my friend list and sent it to each and every friend of mine, whether I talked to them or not.

Everyone's reply started flowing within minutes,

" Dude, when will you be back? ", "Take care. Bye best of luck." " You'll be missed a lot."

My inbox was flooded with messages and my phone was ringing again and again. This day my phone was ringing more than on my birthday, actually on birthday it hardly rang, but I don't know what happened today, maybe now everyone wanted to give me a warm farewell. I was so busy with all this that I didn't bother about Siyaa, I almost forgot about her. In the morning I received her text asking me to meet, but I didn't reply. When I sent my last text to everyone, I sent it to her also. She called me, but my phone was busy. She tried many times but every time my phone was not reachable.

Then she texted me, " Ayyan I want to talk to you. Please at least talk to me once."

I replied to her rudely, " Say? "

" Tomorrow at what time you will be leaving? I want to meet you. "

" I'll be leaving early in the morning and I don't have time to meet anyone."

" Ok :( "

I didn't reply her after that. But she texted me after some time, she was trying to change the topic and trying to talk me.

" Done with packing? "

"Yes."

I was not at all interested to talk her and was behaving very rudely, but she was not bothered by my behavior and was trying to talk me.

" When you'll be coming back to Delhi? "

" Once in six months."

" Ayyan I have deleted my Facebook account. How I'll contact you? "

I burst out in anger and called her. I started shouting at her, without letting her speak anything,

" Why do you want to talk me, to hurt me again or to pass your time when your boyfriend is not with you. I am not a kid that you'll come talk to me sweetly and attain my attention again and again."

" Ayyan, it's nothing is like that. I really want you to be with me. I LOVE YOU."

The moment I hear this, tears roll down my eyes, I could not control my anger. I again shouted at her, " DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT TO ME . You can never love me. I was so mad that I fell for you and now I regret it. I have wasted my precious three years for you. I always thought about you. My morning started by having a thought of you and my nights ended wishing that we could be as before as we were. I never asked you to be my girlfriend, I just wanted you to be with me as my best friend. But you are not worthy of my friendship."

Before I could say anything else, she started crying badly and said, " Ayyan , I know you love me a lot and no one else can love me as much as you do but there are some problems in my life. And you know very well that my boyfriend doesn't want me to talk to you but still I am talking to you because I consider you as my best friend and you'll be one forever. And I want to apologize for whatever I did. I know my apologies are nothing in front of your love and care. And if you allow me, I want to say something."

"What?"

" I LOVE YOU

I LOVE YOU

I LOVE YOU"

"Siyaa I beg you. Please leave me alone, I don't want you to be around me." I said almost angrily and disconnected the call.

She tried calling me many times, but I didn't pick her call. Fifty times I rejected her call. She texted me, but I deleted them without reading.

*****************

I was sitting in my room and it was my last night in that room. I was looking at my pictures from school days, my childhood, family functions and many more. I was looking at each and every corner of the room. I hugged my pillow tightly while thinking of the best moment.

Tomorrow will change my life completely. A new place, new people, new environment. It was the first time in my entire life that I was going too far from my home for such a long time. I don't know how I will spend these four years of engineering in Lonavla.

I was lying lost in my thoughts and my phone beeped. I checked my phone and again it was a text from Siyaa.

" Ayyan, take Care of yourself. I'll miss you."

I don't know what I was thinking at the moment and replied her back, " I am already missing you."

After replying to her I was thinking about what all happened between us today was right or wrong. I was too confused to know what to do. After thinking a lot about it, I concluded that I should apologize to her for my behavior because I am not the one who can be happy after hurting others.

So I texted her, " Siyaa, I AM SORRY for today. I know I was very rude. It was just because I am hurt. I am not hurt because you don't feel for me. I am hurt because you broke my trust as a friend. Whenever I needed my best friend near me, I was all alone. I never forced you to be with me as a girlfriend. I wanted to be with you as a best friend until and unless you felt for me. I LOVE YOU and will always be loving you whatever may be the condition."

I was waiting for her reply now, but when I looked at the clock it was striking two in the morning. I was sure that she might have fallen sleep till now.

In early morning I had to leave for Lonavla. I didn't sleep the whole night and was spending time with my gadgets, my boxing bag and all those things which I was leaving back in Delhi. It feels bad when you have to leave that room in which you have spent six years of your teenage.

I went to my grandma's room to see what she was doing. I saw my mom and grandma both were sitting and checking my bags that everything is kept or not.

I went to grandma and she started instructing me, " See, here I have kept laddus for you. Don't forget to have them."

I went and lay down my head on her laps.

" What happen? "

"Nothing! I just want to enjoy the moment." I replied to her hiding my tears.

My mom asked me, "Are you sure, you want to go for it? "

" Yes. I will do it." I replied to her, with a confident voice.

" GOOD" She replied, a little upset.

I took a nap in my grandma's lap only. After some time she woke me up, as I was getting late for my journey.

I woke up and got ready to leave. My dad and my brothers were waiting for me in the car. I asked Dad to let me drive as after this I was not sure when I am going to drive again. I touched everyone's feet hugged them tightly and left for the airport.

I was checking in at the airport and I received a text from Siyaa.

" Good Morning my Basanti. Today is a life changing day for you. You might have already left for the journey of your dream. But don't forget that back here in Delhi we all will be waiting, everyday for you to come back, especially me. I don't know what to say to you now. I will just say Ayyan, I LOVE YOU and I am going to miss you very badly. Please come back soon and whenever you get time contact me.

BEST OF LUCK."

" THANK YOU. "

***************

13. WELCOME TO COLLEGE

It was the first time, I landed in Mumbai. I was unaware of everything, I didn't know where to go and what to do.

I was feeling a little scared and at the same time I was feeling like a matured guy. I was again and again checking my pocket for the safe side because I have heard a lot about the pickpockets in Mumbai. I was acting very carefully.

I somehow managed to find a bus for Lonavla. It was a very long journey from Mumbai to Lonavla as the distance between both the places is about 120 kilometers. I took the window seat from the left side and was looking at the roads of Mumbai. It was all feeling like I am watching a movie.

It seemed like a scenario from a movie in which a guy comes to Mumbai for the first time and is looking at each and everything. Those big buildings, branded cars, even the beggars at the roadside. People in a huge crowd going to their different destinations, couples roaming around holding each other's hand.

Though it was not at all new to me, but there was something different in the air of Mumbai and Delhi. Here I was alone and now I was very near to my destination. I was missing my family, ' How will be everything there without me?' I asked to myself and closed my eyes, leaning onto the window. After the journey of three hours I reached Lonavla. It was a small hill station, which is crowded in the months of rainy season. I had read on internet that Lonavla is one of the best tourist places in Maharashtra because of its green mountains, heavy rains and huge dams.

It was the rainy season when I reached Lonavla. It was too crowded in this season. Tourists spend their vacations all over here. People from Mumbai and Pune are most likely to be found in Lonavla to spend their weekend. When I reached Lonavla's bus stand, there I found Samundra's bus was already waiting there to pick up the freshers.

And I was one of them.

*************

While leaving from home my Dad gave me my cell phone and asked me to keep it with me and hide it and asked me if any problem occured in keeping the phone myself then submit it to the warden there.

While coming from Delhi to Mumbai, I received a text on Facebook from a guy named Toshi. He was also joining SIMS in the same batch. He was from Faridabad. He told me that he had already reached SIMS and has been allotted room number 3202 and asked me to be his roommate, as we both are from nearby places.

I reached SIMS accompanying ten more fresher in the same bus. The moment bus entered the SIMS campus I was amazed to see its beautiful infrastructure, all over its boundary was covered with green plants and big trees and I was very excited to see the entire campus as soon as possible.

We were introduced to our warden who was allotting rooms and issuing us our uniforms. I asked him to allot me room number 3202 but he refused to do so because there is a rule in SIMS that no two people of same place can live together in the same room. Because if they do so they might not interact with other people from other places. If they live with the people from different states they will get a chance to understand their culture and tradition.

So I was allotted room number 3205.

****************

I picked up my luggage, my uniform and headed towards the room I was allotted. I knocked the door, it was already open so I pushed it with little power and it banged on the wall beside it. I saw a tall, well built, healthy Sardar sitting on the front bed.

" Hi. I am Ayyan Goel." I greeted with a firm hand shake and a big smile on my face.

"Hello. I am Jaswinder Singh." He replied nervously.

He was sitting alone and seemed to be upset. He was a little nervous, so was I.

We talked for a while and I tried to make him feel comfortable, actually I was trying to make myself comfortable because I was too nervous and little scared of this new environment. I came to know that he is from Punjab and is a Kabaddi player. He was a little weak in English and after every few words he started speaking in Punjabi, which was difficult for me to understand. After relocating my luggage in the wardrobe, I went to room number 3202, to meet Toshi. Jaswinder accompanied me to his room. Toshi was a good looking guy with good physic and he was fond of gym. As he was from NCR region, so both of us had very good topics to discuss on. We went on to take a round of campus.

SIMS campus must be a dream of every student to go for. Here all the buildings are built in the shape of some or the other aquatic creature. It has a small ship as compared to the original ship in the campus itself for the cadets to have their practical training. It has a lake beside the ship surrounded by green plants and trees. There are no boundary walls for SIMS campus instead there is a deep well.

" Hey fresher go to the ground, there is a 'fall in' for all of you." Some senior ordered us while we were having a look at the campus.

All three of us were wondering, " What is this 'Fall in'?"

We ran towards the ground and there we saw all the freshers standing and waiting for the warden. There we came to know that attendance is called ' Fall in'.

Our warden instructed us about all the rules and regulation of the institute. And we found it very tough to follow. Getting up at 5:30 in the morning and having P.T., breakfast at 7am. Then classes from 8:30 am till 4:30pm. And then dinner at 7pm.

" This routing is too hectic to follow. How we'll manage? " I asked Jaswinder.

"Don't worry. We'll be habitual of it." He replied with a firm smile on his face. But I could see he was worried too.

****************

First night in SIMS was quite interesting as we all were sharing our life experiences. Everyone of us has different stories to share, but somewhere it was quite similar.

We all were chit chatting, till late night and till now I haven't checked my cell phone. I had just informed my parents about my safe journey.

When I checked my phone, I found 10 missed calls and more than 20 messages and all of them were from Siyaa.

" How are you?", " How was your journey? ", " How is your college and the people there?"

I replied to each and every message of her and slept as it was late at night and she too, must have slept till now.

**************

My first few days in SIMS were quite interesting and enjoyable. Though by this time I was already missing my family, my home and Delhi. Initially I called daily at home and talked for quiet sometime. But, gradually that too reduced as the burden of studies was increasing day by day. And I never realized when I got used to the schedule of SIMS. I used to keep my phone switched off and hidden in my bag because cell phones, laptop and other gadgets were not allowed in the campus. Whenever I use to check my phone there were lots and lots of messages from all my friends. I was not able to give time to my friends back in Delhi and even my friends in SIMS were not that close to me, so that I could share everything with them.

Jaswinder knew about my love story and about Siyaa because whenever I used to talk to her, he was also present there in the room. He asked many times with whom I was talking.

" Who is she? And why do you smile endlessly while talking or chatting with her?" He asked me quite annoyed this time.

So at last, I told him a part of my story with little lies.

One day I was on phone with Siyaa and were talking about our old school day. She always felt happy when we use to talk about the days spent in St. Peter's. And all those memories. After talking to her I hung up by saying a simple 'Bye'.

" Dude, what the hell was that?" Jaswinder shouted at me.

" What happen?" I was shocked to see his reaction after my call ended.

"Why don't you just propose her, if you love her so much." He shouted again.

" I have done it so many times and every time I did it, I lost her. " I told him sadly.

" This time you'll not lose her. Propose her again." He suggested me.

" NO, I won't," I defended not to.

" Yes you will and you all are going to do it right now."

He came towards me and snatched my phone and called her.

I was not able to snatch it back from him and the phone was already ringing. The bell was going and he handed over the phone to me.

" Go for it. Believe me this time you'll get her." He whispered slowly and winked at me.

I was somehow convinced by him. I took my phone and stuck it to my ear. She had already picked up. And was shouting like a little kid,

"Hellooo.. Helloooo.. Hellooooooooooo"

" Hello Siyaa" I stammered.

" Yes, what happened?"

I took a deep breath and said, " I forgot to say something."

" What?"

" I forgot to say that I love you. And you are mine." I said it without any fear and almost shouted.

She laughed and said, "I know."

"What was that? Is 'I love you's' reply, ' I know'? " I shouted at her.

"So what else should I say? " She asked trying to tease me.

"Nothing" I was frustrated and said, "Bye."

" Wait my sweet Basanti, I Love you too." She screamed so loudly that Jaswinder sitting next to me also heard it.

" Now, can I go? I have some work to do. I'll catch you in the evening."

" Okay. " I was blushing like an idiot. I looked at Jaswinder, he was smiling and giving me a wicked look, with his left eyebrow stretched upwards.

I didn't say anything, kept my phone in my bag and left the room blushing and smiling.

He shouted from back, " Basanti wait, I am also coming."

" Fuck off dude"

We both laughed and headed towards the ground.

******************

Time in SIMS was passing too fast. We were not able to think and our day was over. At a blink of eyes the week is all over. But after all this I was feeling homesick. There were many times I didn't talk to anyone in college. I just sat alone and thought about my past good days at home. I was missing home very much. There was a day when I got a little late to go to the cafeteria for lunch. I stood in line, took a plate, served my food, and turned around to find a seat for myself. The middle table of the hall was empty and all other tables were full of people. I went and sat on that middle table. I was looking at the food counter hoping, that someone would come to accompany me.

Ahhh!! One of my batch mate was coming towards me, now I won't have to sit alone and have my meal. I thought.

He came towards my table, was looking here and there. He was just beside me and I was continuously looking at him. He grabbed a chair and adjusted to the table next to me where all his group of friends were sitting. I was already mentally disturbed and this made me feel so bad, I couldn't tolerate it. I got more disturbed by this, though there was no fault of that guy, but I didn't feel it good. I was seriously homesick.

I was looking at every table and seeing all others enjoying together and on the other side, I was sitting alone. I missed my friends back in Delhi, how we use to have our lunch in school and fight for each other's lunch box. Those school day's memories made me smile with my eyes wet. I finished my lunch and went back to my room. I texted all my friends, but all of them were busy in their daily routine. I called Dhruv and he was also busy in some of his work. Ridham was the one with whom I used to share everything, so I thought of talking to her but I got the same response. She was in class and asked that she'll talk as soon as she'll would be free.I was feeling very lonely and was so much depressed to talk someone. I texted Siyaa. I knew that she'll be in class ,but, still I gave a try. And luckily she was free at that time and she replied me.

" Siyaa, I am feeling very lonely. I am missing you all a lot."

Her next reply took my breath away. I was stunned.

She just replied an 'OK'.

"OK? What Ok?"

"What?"

" I am telling you my problem and you are just saying OK?"

" So what else do you want me to say. It's your problem face it yourself and don't irritate me."

" Fine."

What has happened to her? Why is she behaving like this? I was questioning myself. And at that moment I forgot my depression and loneliness and was thinking about her strange and rude behaviour.

That evening I tried calling her but she didn't turn up. After a few hours she called me back.

" You called me? "

"Yes. Are you fine? "

" Yes, what will happen to me? "

" Then why are you behaving so rudely? "

" I don't want to talk to anyone. So please stop it."

" NO. You have to tell me what has happened." I forced her to tell why was she behaving like that.

" I had a fight with Prateek."

"Prateek?"

" Yes?"

" But" I was already numb and lost all my senses after hearing his name again. I was hardly able to speak. But somehow I managed to ask her again, the question which was running in my mind, " But you guys brok up. Right? "

"No. Who told you this?" She shouted at me.

" But you said you love me? "

"Yes, I love you, but AS A FRIEND."

I didn't utter a word and disconnected the call. I was all heartbroken. It felt like someone has stabbed a big knife into my chest and dragged out my heart out of my body. I just lay on my bed, hiding my face under the blanket and was trying to convince myself that it was just a dream. A bad, bad, BAD DREAM. I was lying there still, silent and numb. I was feeling uncomfortable. I stood up and went to the terrace of my hostel.

That night under the bright moon, shining stars and clear sky, I was looking at the dark clouds, feeling the hug of cold breeze, questions in my mind and a few drops of tears in my eyes. I was thinking about the past and the future of my life, made my narrow mind to think wide.

I thought that, "Why I am wasting my life after a girl who doesn't care about me. I am wasting my precious time for her. I am at a place where I can learn most of the things which anyone would love to. I am nowhere in sports, knowledge, experiments, quizzes, competitions and all such extra curricular activities. Now I will make myself very strong and very busy so that I will not find time to think about her. Gradually, I will learn everything and make my parents feel proud of me."

I sat there, lost deep in my thoughts and when I checked my phone to see the time, I saw two unread messages. It was from Ridham.

" Hi."

" Where are you? " She replied within a minute.

" Can we talk on the phone? " I asked her, wanting to share each and every thing which happened with me today, to make myself feel better. She was the one, who was always there for me and I loved sharing things with her. Within few minutes she went to her balcony and called me. I explained her everything and I must say she is a very good listener. She listened to me very silently and when I was finished with my story, she said,

" Ayyan you are on the right track, just move on and kick her out of your life. She doesn't deserve you. Just make your life better and you'll get much better girls than her."

" I need your help in moving on."

She giggled and said, " Don't worry, I'll find you a good girl."

I laughed aloud and said, " No, No, I don't mean that. I meant for supporting me, not finding a girl for me. And if you want to find a bhabhi for yourself then I'll not say no to you."

We both laughed aloud.

" By the way, when are you coming back to Delhi?" She asked me very interestingly.

" I'll be coming back somewhere around in May or June. It's not fixed yet. It all depends on my semester exams."

" Come soon. I am missing you very much."

" I too want to come as soon as possible. I feel very lonely here."

"Don't say like that. I am always with my brother."

*****************

Next morning when I woke up there was only one thing in my mind, " I have to change myself."

My first step towards my recreation was to interact more and more in college, so that I don't feel lonely anymore. I started going to all people with whom I used to interact a little bit. And no doubt I was almost successful in this. Then, I wanted to go to learn sports, so I went to the ground. I observed that all the people playing, were superb players and I was nowhere around them. I tried to play volleyball. Though it was the first day, I was quite good. I changed my gym timing from evening to morning. I use to wake up at four in the morning and started to work out. I gathered a few of my batch mates who also wanted to learn any game but didn't have the courage because all of the better players. So we decided to play in the morning only after the college physical training session.

Now the field left was academics. I changed my seat and started sitting with the topper of the class and started interacting more and more with the teachers, clearing doubts at that moment itself. And I also tried not to sleep in the class.

After all this hectic schedule and busy routine, I found that I am left with only two hours free in the evening after the dinner. So in that two hours, I use to go to every friend of mine in the hostel. In the first week I found it very difficult, but once when I have thought of doing something, so I would do it. I was feeling very good after all this, I was no more a depressed and lonely guy. Two months passed and I was a happy man, enjoying my Cadet life. But there was something which was still disturbing me and it was Siyaa.

After that incident ,she tried to talk to me so many times but as I had promised to Ridham I didn't talk to her. As time passed, she also stopped contacting me.

15. REUNION

" Hey dude how are you? " Kanak called me after such a long time.

" I am fine buddy. How are you? " I was happy to hear him.

"When will you be back?"

"I'll be coming on 22 June."

" That's great news. We are planning an unofficial reunion of St. Peter's and ,you know, without you it won't take place."

" Wow!! What an amazing news. I am there! Tell me the date on which you guys are planning to conduct it?"

" Not yet decided. When you'll be back, we'll plan together.

" Great."

Kanak had called me to inform that they are planning a reunion of St. Peter's 2009-10 batch. It was great news for me because it had been more than three years that I had met most of my St Peter's batch mates after the school.

I was extremely excited to go back to Delhi. My hometown.

***************

Finally, I landed in Delhi on 22 June. It was a hot sunny day. I was looking Delhi after my first semester breaks. It's been six months and now I am again back to my place, my Delhi. My brother was standing outside the airport to pick me up. I ran towards him and hugged him tightly.

" How are you bhai?"

" Good. It seems you are working out daily. Huh? Reduced a lot." Pulkit, my brother said after looking at me from top to bottom.

I picked up my luggage, placed it in the car and shut the back door.

" Ayyan?" Pulkit shouted and threw the car keys towards me and signaled to drive. It is one of the best feeling when your elder brother lets you drive his car.

"Are you sure?" I asked him, smiling.

" Yeah! Go ahead."

I was excited to drive his car. After all, I was driving after six months and that too my elder brother's car with big 2500 watt speakers, bass tube and an amplifier fitted in it. I took the longest route to reach home, so that I could enjoy the drive. I reached home, met everyone, touched my parents and grandma's feet. It was a great family time, after such a long time. I enjoyed homemade food which mom prepared for me. She prepared my favorite Palak Panner and Gajjar ka Halwa. Homemade food was the thing which I missed a lot in Lonavla.

It was the evening time when I heard my friend's voice, who were shouting for outside, "Ayyan.. Ayannnn.. Ayyannnnnn.."

I ran towards the main gate and saw, all my friends standing outside. Dhruv, Kanak, Akshu, Naman, Vikrant and all others. I hugged them and was enjoying their company after such a long time. I missed them a lot.

" Let's go" Akshu shouted.

I looked at him, smiled and took my bike and we went for an outing towards Vikaspuri. We went to our meeting point where we use to hang out every evening. Parked our bikes and sat on them.

" Hey, what is the plan for reunion? " I asked excitedly.

"It's all planned. We are conducting it on 6 July at a club and almost everyone is coming." Dhruv told me.

" It's going to be a great day."

"Yeah, it will be." Kanak shouted with a naughty smile.

I could feel the excitement in everyone's eyes as in mine. I want to meet everyone. But at that moment I forgot that Siyaa will also be coming. Though I was not bothered about her presence.

***************

6 July came and everything was planned. All our friends had been informed to meet us at 12pm near our school St. Peter's, so that we could meet our teachers and visit school to refresh our memories. We all were standing near the school gate and waiting for everyone to come. Slowly-slowly everyone started coming, meeting everyone, hugging each other and sharing their experiences. Many of them had joined good field and were working hard for their careers while some had quit studying and started doing some job in call centers or joined their family business. It was a great fun to meet all old friends and classmates and move back to the memories of school days. Those patties, cold-drinks, wafers treat, those bunking of classes, preparations of annual day, those fighting with teachers for giving less marks, those competitions with friends for marks, those pen fights, Truth & Dare game, Red Hands, Atlas games. Now all these memories were in our talks and heart, but still we had a feeling that we could have those fun again. Though it was not possible for us to do them all.

I was standing and talking to Akshu when someone touched my shoulder from behind and said, " Heyyyy.."

That voice was so similar to me. I turned to confirm whose voice it was. I saw Siyaa standing behind me with a big smile on her face, looking at me with her lovely eyes. Those big eyes always spell bounded me.

I was staring at her and she poked me, " Helloooooo? " While waving her hand in front of my eyes.

I turned back to Akshu without replying her anything and started talking to him.

She came in front of me and said, " You didn't reply."

" Huh? Hii" I said rudely and moved away from there.

I looked at her from the corner of my eye. She was standing still and was staring at me, shocked to see my behavior. She tried many times to talk to me but I didn't reply once. She was annoyed by my behavior and complained to Dhruv. He came to me and asked, " Why are you behaving rudely with her? "

I looked at him angrily, held his arm tightly and said, " Do I need to tell you this? Don't you know why I am behaving like this?"

" But at least for today don't behave like this. Just relax and behave properly." He tried to convince me, but I didn't listen to him.

"I will try.", I replied and tried to end the discussion with him.

We all were sitting for lunch and Siyaa was sitting in front of me. She was looking at me again and again. I noticed her many times, staring at me. I was also staring her from the corner of my eyes without letting her know. My hand was on the table and she kept her hand over mine and said me politely, " Why are you ignoring me? If you don't want to talk me, then please straight away tell me."

I freed my hand with a jerk and shouted at her, " You should have understood it by my silence."

Everyone sitting there was looking at us. And Siyaa, she felt so bad that tears streamed down her eyes. Dhruv was staring angrily at me and signalled me to come aside.

" What is your problem? Can't you behave politely? Look at her, how many times has she tried to talk to you and you, you are just showing your fucking attitude." Dhruv shouted at me very angrily.

" But.." I was trying to say something, but he continued again, " Look at her eyes, she is just about to cry. If she wants to apologize to you then why don't you just give her a last chance." He was trying to make me understand that Siyaa still cares for me. Even I was feeling bad for my behavior. I realized that I was too rude with her. I should apologize her for what I did.

I went back where everyone was sitting, enjoying their meal and having fun. On the other side Siyaa was looking here and there so that she doesn't make an eye contact with me or anyone else. Because I insulted her and was very embarrassed and become a topic of discussion between all our friends. And she was ignoring to discuss anything related to that. But still she was staring at me from the corner of her eyes. And many times our eyes meet. I could sense how bad she was feeling at that moment.

" Siyaa, I am Sorry. " I tried to apologize and politely said this to her.

" For what? You did nothing wrong, you are always right." She rudely replied and turned her face away. Her anger towards me was all acceptable because it was my fault.

" I am so sorry. I don't know why, but I suddenly shouted. I really didn't mean to do it, but it just happened." I said to convince her, but she was not ready to listen to me.

"It just happened? You don't want to insult me, but you just did it. Right? Not every time Ayyan. Every time you insult me in front of everyone and then apologize." She screamed in anger.

" Please give me a last chance. I know I made a mistake by shouting at you and insulting you and I really feel guilty about it."

"Please just leave this topic." She said, stood up and left the table. I followed her trying to convince her. She went out to the terrace of the mall, standing all alone and crying. I followed her there.

She shouted at me, " Ayyan please leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you." People around there in the mall were looking at us. But it didn't bother me.

"Siyaa at least listen to me." I begged her to listen, why I did all this.

Finally, she agreed to hear me out.

" Siyaa I never wanted to hurt you. But what all happened between us just made me furious and when I saw you, I was half way in love with you and on the other side I could not control my anger. Because, I AM HURT. I never ever wanted to shout at you, but I could not control my aggression and just burst out. I am really very sorry for my behavior."

While saying this I held my ears with my hands and said sorry to her.

" This is the last time I am forgiving you. If you ever did this again, then that day will be the last day when we'll talk." She said sobbing and wiping her tears. Our day was spoiled just because of me, but at last I tried to make everything better at least for her, but nothing good of that sort happened.

AT PRESENT

16. F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

I slept that night lost in the dreams of memories. I never expected that this will happen and she will blame me for all this. When I woke up in the morning, the thought, " Why she blamed me for this? " was running in my mind, even when I was half way into sleep. I was not able to concentrate anywhere. It was as if I entered into a world where I could only hear her, see her and feel her words on repeat. Two days passed and I was still thinking about that day. I tried hard not to be weak and repeat my habits of calling her every hour to ask is she alright or not. Though I so much want to but I can't do anything and just sit back, stare at my phone and wonder how long is she gonna take to call me. On the third day she called me. She was still vexed and told me that she had a word with Prateek and was trying her best to sort out their problems.

At that moment I was supporting her, but all disheartedly. I asked her that if she would allow me, then I would like to have a word with Prateek. But she denied. I have decided that I'll help her because she was my best friend not because once I loved her. This will be my last goodbye to her after I am assured that her boyfriend has returned. I started conversing with her daily just to provide moral support. Even she was showing little interest in talking to me. In between our little chats I frequently raised a question asking her the whereabouts of Prateek and what more I can do to make her happy. She never acted the same whenever I inquired. Her replies were always the opposite of the previous ones.

Siyaa and I were again coming closer to each other slowly. Daily I use to act weird or mischievous for her just to make her smile. Sometimes I was successful in cheering her up and sometimes I made a fool of myself and still she giggled. Overall, I felt awesome.

*****************

Among all this came my birthday. I was expecting warm wishes from many people but this time nobody wished me. Not even Dhruv remembered my birthday. In the morning, I was again and again checking my phone, that if someone has texted or called me.

At 9am Siyaa texted me, " Hi"

"Hi." I replied to her. I was eagerly expecting her to call me and make this morning merrier than it can ever be.

We talked for a while, but alas! she forgot my birthday.

"Listen I am little busy right now, so I'll talk to you after sometime." Hurt and baffled I said this and hung up. For a moment I thought that at least this day was meant to be about me, for me, me and only me.

At night I changed my whatsapp and facebook status thanking all my friends who wished me. After looking at my status she understood the reason behind my rude behavior.

She immediately called me but I didn't pick up. She called me many times but I didn't respond. Then she texted me something which blew my mind away.

" Ayyan a very-very Happy Birthday to you. I am very sorry for forgetting your birthday. I should have wished you earlier ,but I forgot. I know you are angry with me. I am really very sorry from the bottom of my heart. I know, I am very bad. I can't even take care of my friends specially you, who always stands beside me whenever I need and in whatever condition I ask, who always support me, take care of me and love me immensely. I am not worth calling a friend for you."

Reading the message again and again I wished if only I could be in her shadow as a present to me but long distance was never an issue to me rest now. I casually replied to her, " Siyya, please, calm down. You need not apologize. It's just a day and now a night. It's ordinary and normal. I don't even celebrate my birthday ,so wishing me or even remembering it is not a problem.""

***************

A Few days passed and her condition was improving. She was overcoming the fact that she broke up with Prateek. I knew she loved him very much and that she would never see me the same way. I constantly took report of how things are growing between them.

One day while talking to her, she told me that Prateek was trying to sort out things between them. After listening to this I was a little upset but at the same time I was happy for her. So I wished her good luck and showed my interest in her relation with him and said, " Best of Luck and just hope for the best. And don't worry, he'll be back for you." Listening to this she was in half way to tears and very politely said to me, " Ayyan you are so sweet. I'll never forget what you did for me and what you are doing right now. Thank you very much."

I laughed aloud and said to her, " You are forgetting my dear Veeru that I have promised you that always I'll be there with you in all your bad times." And I tried to change the topic and asked her about, ' NAINA and VIKRANT.'

" Hey, do you know about Naina and Vikrant? "

" What? What about them?"

" Both of them have a huge crush on each other since school time but never confessed it." This is so ironic.

"How do you know about all this? "

"I noticed it. Their behavior towards each other, the way they act, care for each other. I am sure they love each other."

" But how can you be so sure? "

" Do you remember at the time of reunion when we were having lunch, both of them were sitting parallel to each other and were constantly staring. They were blushing whenever their eyes met and when Naina got hurt by a nail while coming out from the door of the restaurant, how it panicked Vikrant and he started searching for something to put on her wound, so as to soothe it."

" Ayyan if all this is true then we should try to make them a couple."

"Yeah!! I too want that."

"And they'll make a cute couple. Even both of them were toppers in school and they'll look cute together.

" Let's plan something, but first we have to try to know that what we are thinking is true or not."

"But how we'll do this, you are not here. By the way when you'll be coming back to Delhi?"

" Somewhere around in January."

" We are waiting for you."

*****************

I made a group on whatsapp to chat with all friends from St. Peter's and be in touch with them. Though we were far apart physically, but we formed a mini classroom or I should say a fish market, as our teachers used to call us, on this messenger. We were not able to see, hear or be with each other, but we used to chat all the time. The main reason to chat all the time was to make Siyaa happy and never let her feel alone. And on the other hand to make Vikrant and Naina a couple.

GROUP CHAT

Me- " Hey. What's up everyone? "

Naina- " Studies. :( "

Me- " Studious. "

Naina- " Exams are coming and I don't know even a single word in biology."

Vikrant- " And she is irritating me with her queries."

Me- " Ahem Ahem.. Good going Naina."

Naina- " Vikrant Am I irritating you? HUH.? Get lost, now I'll not ask you anything."

Vikrant- " Naina don't get angry yarr."

Me- " I think I should not interfere between two love birds."

Naina- " What? "

Vikrant- " What was that? "

Both of them sent me this with a shocked smiley. I was sure that both were shocked and meanwhile feeling shy. I thought this is not a good time to discuss all this, so I tried to end this topic.

Me- " Nothing. I was just kidding."

But to my surprise someone don't want to end this topic and that someone was Naina. She texted me in personal chat and asked me what was that. I again told her that it was by mistake. But she didn't believe me. At last I agreed and told her that I have a doubt on them. She seemed happy to hear this, but was still not ready to accept that 'She Loves Vikrant' or she just didn't want to confess it in front of me. Somehow I managed to convince her and finally she confessed it.

" Yes, I have huge crush on Vikrant. And I am scared to share my feelings with anyone because once I'll start sharing my feelings it will grow and I don't want to hurt myself."

I was very happy that she finally shared this with me and now I have to help her anyhow.

" You should have told me this earlier. May be today you both could have been an inseparable couple."

She suddenly replied to me, " Yeah, I should have, but it's of no use. He doesn't feel for me."

" Who told you that he doesn't feel for you? May be he also feels the same."

" I wish that to be true."

As soon as I said bye to Naina, I called Vikrant.

" Hey dude. How are you? "

" Just pissed off due to exams. You tell? "

" I want to ask you something?"

"What?"

" If you love someone, will you tell me about her? "

" What are you talking about? "

"Tell me? Do you love someone? "

" What has happened to you? And why suddenly this question? "

" Dude, answer me first and then I'll tell you."

" No, I don't "

" Are you sure?" I asked again naughtily to confirm.

" Uhhhh.. Yes" He was confused what to say. " But, why are you asking this? "

"I will tell you when the right time comes."

" And when that right time will come? "

" When I'll come back to Delhi."

" And When you are coming back? "

" When my exams will be over."

I was teasing him badly and he too got irritated.

So he shouted at me, " Are you over with your nonsense? "

I again replied naughtily, " Noooooooooooooooo.. "

" Then get lost and let me study."

" Dude NAINA LOVES YOU."

He was about to disconnect the call, but I banged a hammer of love on this head. Now his doubt that 'Did Naina feels for someone or not?' was disclosed in front of him. But he was not sure that he love her or not.

" WHAT?" He shouted loudly and when he heard this he fell down from the chair he was sitting on.

" Yes dude. She loves you. That's why I asked you all this. And I know that you too feel for her."

" Ayyan I have never thought about this."

" Dude, don't be insane, don't be a girl and accept it that you love her."

" Buddy believe me, I don't love her. I was just attracted to her. It was just a simple infatuation nothing else. And I have not cared to think about it again."

" Then give it a thought because she loves you. And I want you to be with her."

" Relax. Give me some time to think."

" How much time do you want. Take till tomorrow's time." I was more desperate than Naina to hear his "YES".

" Dude, my exams are going on. I will tell you after they will be over."

" And when are they going to end? "

" Thirtieth of this month."

" Great. I'll be waiting for your response. And dude, I want to hear positive answer only."

" Ok. Ok relax. Now let me study."

" Ok, Good luck."

" Thank you. "

****************************

I told Naina about what I talked to Vikrant and she was eagerly waiting for his reply.

Pretty soon in chats Naina told me how far deeply she has fallen for Vikrant.

After that day she continued to discuss about Vikrant, for hours we use to talk about him only. Even she used to tell me for how much time they have talked and what they talked about.

On the other side Siyaa was getting jealous that why I was always talking to Naina. This craziness in her I can never understand that am I not allowed to talk to any girl? Or just her but not with girls? But the closeness between me and Siyaa was increasing day by day. My day ended with her saying sweet dreams and my day started with her ordering me to kill my phone and study. No matter what we were inseparable, at least for now.

"Hello Siyaa? Good Morning."

" Good Night. Ayyan go and sleep, it's still night." She replied to me lost in her sleep.

" No.. No.. No.. Good Morning. Wake up. It's 7:30 am. Get ready and start studying." I love to wake her up in the morning because her sleepy voice made me feel that I am lying next to her.

Time is treacherous bitch. It flies away when its meant to stop and moves slow when its supposed to vanish ,but ultimately time is all we have to remind us of our past and to help us move into our future. I hope that this time heals all my open wounds and not repeat my past ,but makes my future something I have always dreamt to live in.

Vikrant's exams were over and when I asked him again about his feelings for Naina, he didn't respond. He just said that, ""You come to Delhi after that we'll talk."

********************************

On 25th December I flew back to Delhi. This time I was too excited to be back home as compared to before.

The Next day I visited Vikrant's place to get his answer.

" Vikrant so what do you think? " I asked him excitedly.

""Dude, I thought about it a lot and I am confused about it. I am more worried about my studies and career then to getting into a relation."

" Vikrant, I understand your state but she'll not affect your future. Even she is also concerned more about her career ,but on the other side she loves you like hell."

" I agree with you ,but I am not sure that I can handle a relation. You know very well that I have never been into one."

"And neither she. Dude this is a golden chance for you. You'll never get any other girl like her. She is perfect for you and believe me if you miss this chance you'll never ever get this opportunity again. Even she'll help you in reaching your goals and you can help her in reaching hers."

""Ayyan try to understand me. I don't want to get any sort of distraction. I don't want to be in any relation until and unless I get what I want to be."

"Cool. But remember till that she might not wait for you."

" I don't care."

I tried to convince Vikrant a lot, but he refused to even talk about it any more. But after trying so hard, I gave up and began wondering about how Naina will absorb this.

While coming back from his place Naina called me and asked what happened at his place.

" Let's meet and I'll tell you everything." I asked her to meet, so that I could explain her everything easily.

I called her to nearest coffee house. There she came; a sweet, simple and innocent girl who was allergic to deodorant and perfumes is now completely changed. She is now prettier, beautiful and adorable than before. She is a beauty with brain.

I was taken aback to see her new look.

" Hi Naina. You look amazing." I greeted her with a warm smile and thought in my mind that in spite of seeing her perfection he still refuses to accept her. A person never values what they originally have but always run after what they want and then they lose what they were blessed with. It is such a funny situation that I need a love like Naina's and Vikrant needs a settled career like me.

"Hello. Thank you. How are you?" She replied with beaming from ear to ear on hearing me appreciate her beauty.

" After seeing you, I think I am satisfied."

"Flirting? " She laughed aloud and winked towards me.

" NO. NO. But really you look charming."

"Thank you once again."

" So what would you like to have? "

" Vikrant's answer." She said and looked at me with her left eyebrow pulled up.

" Naina.." I was feeling nervous about how she will take all of this in. "Naina the thing is he wants to concentrate on his studies and career at this moment. And he is not interested in getting into any relation. He feels that if he gets into relation, he will be distracted from his goal. I tried to convince him but he didn't agree."

After hearing, her eyes were wet and she was about to cry. But she somehow managed to control back her emotions, took a deep breath, sobbed a little, smiled and said, ""Never mind, even I don't want to be a wall between him and his goals. I would love to wait for him until he himself comes to me. And I would be happier on his success. And I'll do anything to help him."

Naina is such a strong girl. Only love can hurt like this. The way she was controlling her emotions and feelings and the way she was handling the situation, just made me more anxious to make her happy.

And I have to learn a lot from her, I am not at all strong like her.

""Naina ,don't worry. I am with you and trust me he'll be with you soon." I smiled looking into her eyes. Seeing the pain that I too have felt and soothing her soul ,but I know none of that matters. Nothing I can say that will make her auspicious.

""I'll wait for that moment." She smiled back towards me.

*********************

"Welcome back. I missed you so much." Siyaa said and hugged me tightly.

""I missed you more." I replied to her and hugged her back.

""No, I missed you more." She jumped and shouted like a kid in her seat. She looks so cute when she acts like a kid.

"Ok. Ok. You missed me more."

" Yupppiiiieeeeeeee.." throwing her hands up in the air as if she has won a medal for missing me more than I missed her.

Siyaa was acting like a child and I loved it. We meet after six months and this time I don't want to ruin our meeting and I will not let anyone do that.

""So what is the plan for New Year? Where you want to go?" "I asked to Siyaa.

""Not yet planned. Where do you wish to go?"

"I'll go anywhere if you are with me." I replied to her with a naughty smile on my face.

""Stop flirting." She blushed and slapped me lightly on my hand.

And we both laughed.

""I met Vikrant and Naina. And Vikrant is not ready to accept Naina's proposal. And on the other side Naina, she desperately aches for him to be with her." I told Siyaa everything.

I told her in detail about my meeting with Naina and Vikrant.

She ignored everything and just asked me, ""You met Naina first?"

I could see that envious look as her face turned red.

I kind of understood that what's about to come after this is not gonna be nice.

""Yeah, I went to see her." I confusedly confessed it.

""Great.. Now go and talk to her, not me." She angrily said and was about to leave the place.

I held her hand and asked her what is making her feel so insecured.

"Why are you acting like my girlfriend?"

""Girlfriend? Ohh.. Yeah!!! We are just friends." She upsetly said this, freed her hand and left.

Her behaviour was giving me some kind of hint and I knew this time my doubt was right.

Yes, I could see it this time that she has fallen for me and doesn't want me to be with any other girl but her.

""Dhruv where are you, you asshole? You didn't meet me yet." I called Dhruv to meet me as soon as possible.

**************************

I met Dhruv that evening and told him everything, how I and Siyaa came close again, how I helped her to forget her boyfriend. How my mornings started with her call and day ends with her wishes. How she supported me to study and come out of loneliness, though unknowingly but she did.

But to my surprise when I told him this, he already knew everything and was in no shock or amazed to hear all this.

He knew everything and it was obvious that Siyaa must have told him.

There was something else also that she told him.

" Dude, I should have told you this earlier only that I know everything that is going on between you two. Even I know what is in her mind and heart. And you won't believe that she have sacrificed more than you did. She loved you more than you could ever do.

He told me everything what Siyaa told him, about her life, about her love, about her feelings towards me, about her sacrifice for her so called best friend SHEFALI.

She wants me to be with her and she is waiting for me to understand her signals and propose her again. She wants me to propose her in front of everyone on the day of New year.

" Dhruv this New Year will going to be the best New Year for her and for me."

******************************

17. NEW YEAR EVE

Finally the New Year eve arrived. I was dressed in my best attire combed my hair in a gentlemen look, wore clean shoes, put some good perfume.

I was confident enough that my aim for tonight will be successful. I have to help Naina to have what she has always deserved. Secondly, I realized that finally our time has come. With this New Year I will give her new life.

Everytime I visited Dhruv first and we both went out together.

"Dude, come out I am standing outside." I asked him to shut his make up kit and show his manliness to the world.

"Come inside. I am not ready yet." He told me in his dozy tone.

When I went inside, I found him on his bed ,wrapped badly in a blanket as if his life depends on the comforts of his blanket. This made me wonder that even after 6 months, friendship never changes a bit and neither the people who share it together.

" FUCKER!!" I shouted and kicked him hard. " Asshole every time you ask me to come early and every time you are only late."

" It's fun to make you wait." He laughed, pointed his finger towards me and said again, " Dude ,just look at your face, you look like a baby crying for chocolates."

" Fuck you." I replied and made an angry face. " I'll give you five minutes to get ready or else I'll put a bucket full of cold water on you and you know winters and cold water makes a perfect combination." I smirked at him.

He stood up and started getting ready. Meanwhile ,I took his laptop and started checking my facebook account. Suddenly Dhruv's phone rang.

I screamed, "Dhruv, your phone."

He shouted back and asked me to take the call.

I took his cell phone and saw Siyaa was calling him.

I picked up and kept quiet. She started speaking and she was in such a hurry that she didn't even bother to listen who was on the other side.

""Dhruv can you please come and pick me up. It's evening time and my parents are not allowing me to go alone. "

Dhruv was living very close to Siyaa's house and so she asked him to pick her.

""If I'll come, will it bother to you?" I asked her.

She laughed and in one go she recognized me. She replied, ""No. Never. If only you lived near my house.""

" Ahaaan.. Really?? Ok then as soon as you are ready just text me. I'll be there."

" Ok. By the way where is Dhruv? "

" That lazy ass is still in the bathroom and getting ready. And I am at his place waiting for you to text me."

She laughed and said, " I have already texted you. Just check your phone once."

She texted me, ""Your Veeru is ready. And I hate to wait to meet my Basanti."

I smiled and said, "Your Basanti will be there in five minutes."

I disconnected the call.

"Dhruv I am taking your bike and I'll be back in a couple of minutes. Till then you get ready and meet me downstairs." I screamed at Dhruv, as he was still in the bathroom.

" But listennnnn..." He shouted back ,but I didn't listen to him and ran away.

I kicked his bike and drove it towards Siyaa's place. On the way I picked some red roses and chocolates for her.

She was already standing outside her house and waiting for me. She wore a red colour dress and was looking stunning red hot.

""Mr. .you are two minutes late."

"I have something to pay as a compensation for those two minutes."

"And what's that?"

I took out a rose from my pocket and offered her, and said," A small rose to a beautiful red hot flower standing in front of me."

"That is too dramatic ,but I like it." She smiled, took that rose and said, "This is for only one minute and what's for the other one?"

I took out a big chocolate from my pocket and said, "This is for the sweetest girl I have ever met."

""Ayyan stop being so nice to me otherwise I'll make it a habit." She said and winked at me.

""Don't worry; I will make you addicted to this habit." I smiled back and asked her to sit.

We went back towards Dhruv's house. On the way to Dhruv's house ,she was sitting behind me and due to cold breeze she held me tightly and hugged me. She was shivering due to cold. This way on road is one of the precious moments that I will cherish in all the years to come.

When we reached Dhruv's house, I offered her jacket, she smiled and took it. She said, " could it be anymore "

And both of us laughed aloud.

Dhruv came out after I called him. He came running holding his shoes in his hand.

"What's that?" I asked him, looking at his shoes.

"Come on, I can wear them in car."

Dhruv and Siyaa wished each other and three of us headed towards our destination.

********************************

When we reached there, everyone was already present at the Party.

It was a perfect evening.

Dark club lights, loud music, couples dancing on the floor, bars and tables filled with groups. Everyone was enjoying their evening.

When we entered the place Siyaa was holding my hand. I felt so complete. Even with this people all around me my world was left with no void to fill. I could never be more blessed. Now I wonder how little those tears seem when I cried to have her in my life. She already was because I knew whenever I cried, she cried more. From this day I take an oath to be with her through thick and thin, in sickness and in health , I consider her my soul , I give her my life and in return I don't have anything to ask for because you can't demand something you already have.

It may seem dramatic but without drama what is love?

And to add on to this drama, how can I leave the chance of making Siyya jealous? This night is going to be epic.

We headed towards the table where all our friends were sitting. We hugged each other and wished a very Happy New Year.

We all took our seats. I sat next to Naina and Siyaa sat just in front of me. And her face already turned red when I sat with Naina.

We chatted and I realized how much I missed this. No matter how far you go but some things always remain same.

Dhruv and Naman went to take drinks and they were back with juice for girls, shot for those who drink and cold drinks for those who don't drink. And among them only me and Vikrant don't drink.

Dhruv forced Vikrant to try a shot but he refused and so did I.

The music was getting louder and everyone on the floor was getting wilder.

I offered my hand to Naina and asked her to dance with me. She agreed at once.

We were dancing to the fullest, on the rock music and suddenly DJ turned to a soft music and announced, " This is for all the couples present here." and turned the volume high.

We held each other's hand and were on the dancing floor. Her left hand was in mine and her right on my shoulder. And my other hand was on her back. We both came too close on purpose.

I came near to her ear and said, " Good going. He is already pissed off. See how he is releasing his frustration on food and fork. Wishing I was his food."

She laughed aloud and from the corner of her eyes ,she looked at Vikrant. And she could see the libid look on his face.

Vikrant wasn't the only one who was pissed off and jealous. Siyaa was accompanying him. She was equally frustrated and both of them were looking at me like they will kill me tonight.

On the table beer bottles were kept and in anger Vikrant picked one of them and got the bottoms up in one go.

One!! Two!! Three!! Four!! Five!!

And he was out. He drank five bottles of beer and was extremely high.

Siyaa was trying to stop him as others were also on the dance floor.

We didn't see him drink.

Music volume went down and we all looked at DJ. Vikrant was standing beside him, actually he was not even able to stand properly. He held a mike in his hand.

From his behaviour we understood that he was drunk.

""This announcement is for everyone. My apologies to all for bothering you." Vikrant started his speech all drunk.

I and Dhruv tried to calm him down but he resisted and held my hand.

""Guys he is my chhaddi buddy. He is with me all the time from starting of school days to college days. In my bad times, in my good moment he was always with me. I don't have any sibling,but after meeting him, I could always say I have a brother and he is Ayyan. He is just three days elder to me, but now he acts like three years elder to me.

"He wants me to be with this girl." He held Naina's hand and pulled her towards him.

Naina shouted at him, ""Vikrant please stop it."

I help my hand to make her quiet. I wanted to see what he has to say.

"Naina please be quiet and just listen to me." Vikrant pointed his forefinger and kept it on Naina's lips.

He continued, " May be I would have never ever get that much of guts to say all this to you. But today I'll say."

He turned towards me and asked me, "You want me to be committed with her? "

I looked into his eyes and replied, "Yes."

"Dude ,I love her and she is the girl of my dreams. But I never had the guts to confess it even in front of you. But today I'll do that."

He went to one of the table, picked a rose from there and a chocolate's florescent wrapper and turned it into the shape of a ring.

She was standing still, all stunned and trying to understand the series of events that were going on. I am sure she expected something to happen ,but not this way and definitely not so early.

Vikrant sat on his knees, holding that flower and virtual ring in his hands.

"Naina ,I always wanted to tell you this even in school but I never gathered up strength to confess it in front of you or someone else. But today I'll make you mine, I want you to be with me till my last breath, till my heart beats I want to hear your name. Till my eyes have the power to see this world, I want to see you around me. I want my mornings to start with you and my nights to end with your love. I want to be around you till the eternity. I love you so much. WILL YOU BE MY LIFE? "

She was standing still. All the blood left her skin and rushed back to her heart to help it beat faster. All the while she practiced her reaction but none of that matters now. His words are repeating in her head and she keeps realizing that it's not a dream.

She was standing quiet, but when I shouted, "Naina say yes."

And following me everyone in the party shouted, "SAY YES. SAY YES. SAY YES."

She slightly tilted her head away from Vikrant's eyes and very lightly, she said, "Yes."

Siyaa and all other friends shouted from behind, "We didn't hear you. Say it loudly."

She again said, "Yes."

Someone from the crowd again shouted, "LOUDLY?"

And finally she screamed, "YES."

Vikrant stood up and hugged her.

Everyone present there started hooting and cheering up.

Due to an excess of alcohol Vikrant started vomiting and I held him and was taking him to the washroom. He cannot absorb so much in one night.

Then Naina came and said, "Leave him. Now he is mine and I'll take care of him."

I didn't utter a word; just smiled at her and took a step behind.

While taking care of Vikrant, Naina said me, " Ayyan you are a true friend. Thank you. And don't miss your chance now. I noticed that someone else was jealous too when we were dancing." She winked at me.

I smiled and left both of them alone.

**************************

It was time for me to do something for Siyaa.

I held her hand and whispered in her ear, "Come with me. I have a surprise for you and don't inquire any more."

Still half an hour was left to say goodbye to the year 2013.

I asked Siyaa to stay quiet and sit in the car. And I called Dhruv, "Dude I, am leaving with Siyaa. We have some plans to do. Please handle the party."

He agreed at once and wished me good luck as he already knew what I was up to.

I drove my car and while going to our destination, she asked me many times, what I was up to but I didn't reply.

I just asked her to wait patiently and remain silent.

After a drive of twenty minutes we finally reached our place.

It was an empty field at height, near Humayun's tomb from where half of the Delhi is visible.

At night Delhi look so beautiful from that place and it was New Year eve, so it looked breaththaking. Everything glowed.

I stopped my car just near the edge of that hill. There is no returning back if somebody falls from this height. Its just like love. Once you drop from a great height there is no coming back.

We both came out of the car and sat on the car's bonnet. It was chilling cold and Siyaa was shivering in cold. I offered her my jacket which was kept in the car.

And while getting that I got chocolates and guitar which was already kept in the back space of car.

She laughed aloud and asked me what I was going to do with that.

" Just wait and watch." I smiled and replied her back.

I just sat near the edge of the hill. It was around one meter distance between me and that end of the hill.

I started playing guitar and sang one of her favourite song.

" Tere Jesa yaar Kahan,

Kaha aisa yaarana,

Yaad karegi Duniya,

TNaina mNaina afsana..

Meri Zindagi sawari,

Mujhko Gale laga kar..

Baitha diya falak pe,

Mujhko Khaat se oothake..

Yaara teri Yaari ko,

Maine hai khuda mana..

Yaad karegi duniya

tNaina mNaina afsana..

Mere dil ki yeh dua hai,

Kabhi dur tu na jaaye..

Tere bina ho Jeena,

Woh din kabhi na aaye.."

I was continuing my singing but she suddenly stood up and came to me.

I stopped singing. I looked at her. We didn't share a word for a while. We were just staring at each other. I held her hand in my mine.

And suddenly fireworks started lighting. They made the entire sky look beautiful.

"Happy New Year." I said politely, still looking into her eyes, not even blinking once.

"A very very Happy New Year to you too." She smiled and wished me back.

And finally we kissed. My lips were on her lips. We kissed, kissed and kissed. It was a very passionate one. I lifted my hand and grabbed her face. Taking in all her love that she hid for so long. Holding her close to me and in my kiss telling I will never leaver her again. And my other hand slowly reached for her hair. Her smooth silky hair. I took a strand of her hair stretched it lightly, pulling her towards me. Was this actually happening? Am I dreaming? In this aura I couldn't have asked any more. I was contented. After all, I have my everything in my arms.

The moment we broke, we were breathing heavily.

She said, "I LOVE YOU"

"I know that you love me." I grinned and replied.

"How do you know that?"

"Dhruv told me everything. And even though you don't speak, but your eyes convey everything." Saying this I laid my fingers and touched her skin around her lovely eyes.

She smiled and with shyness she turned her face and looked down.

With the back of my forefinger I pulled her chin up and looked directly into her deep dark eyes.

And I kissed her again. To make myself believe this was truly happening, I was ready to kiss her again and again. I wish this night to never end. But I want to spend my eternity with her. And I can see that with my eyes closed. I can picture us daily. And this even made my heart beat faster. I was so overwhelmed. Today she turned me into the luckiest person alive. Today she truly let me make her mine forever. I was imprinted on her beauty.

She got shy and broke the kiss and turned back and pushed me slightly to get some space and free her from my grip.

AND.. AND I LOST MY CONTROL AND..AND.

SIYAA

I was sitting with Shefali and a guy came to us. He put forward his hand and said, "Hi ,I am ayyan."

He used be one of the studious and naughty guy of the class. I shook hands with him and talked to him for a while.

His first impression was quiet good on me but it was much more effective on Shefali.

"He is cute." Shefali whispered in my ears.

Slowly- Slowly we became friends and Shefali started feeling for him. And I knew about it.

On the trip to Manali, she proposed him and I don't know how Ayyan agreed to be in relation with her. It was quiet shocking for me. But I was happy that my best friend is with her crush now.

Shefali took me to different shops to buy gifts for ayyan. Ayyan did the same thing, and I was the one who choose gift for both of them.

When we came back from Manali we didn't talk much. But one day Shefali came crying and said, "He broke up with me."

I went to talk to him and asked him what the problem was?

He explained me what all happened on the trip and he doesn't like her. And he even told Shefali that he is not at all interested in relations and love, but she didn't listen to him and forced him to be with her. And due to frustation and irritation he shouted at her and scolded her.

****************

I was really weak in studies and wanted someone's help. So I asked Ayyan to teach me as he was studious guy and I loved his company. He never refused to help me or anyone else. He is kind and sweet, always ready to help. Slowly we became good friends and then best friends. We used to talk for hours and hours. And I don't know when I got a soft corner for him. But I cannot share this with anyone not even with Shefali. When our last days in St. Peter's were going on, that time Shefali use to say me, " Siyaa now we'll be in different schools then how I'll see Ayyan daily? I miss him a lot. I love him."

After hearing this, for many days I kept thinking about her and Ayyan only. I finally decided that, I'll go away from Ayyan and help Shefali to get closer to Ayyan once again. Somehow I managed to make them friends again but suddenly Ayyan proposed me. I was so happy but I remembered Shefali and I rejected his proposal and started ignoring him.

I rejected my love for my friendship.

On the other side he was not interested in talking to Shefali but he was doing so because I asked him to do so. Our schools were changed and he went far apart from us. At starting we use to meet on Saturday but when he fought in front of my school everyone with everyone, all started teasing me using his name. So I asked him not to come outside my school.

Even now Shefali was torturing me for him. She was daily asking my why did I do all this. She thought I spoiled her life.

She thought that Ayyan left her because of me. She used to fight with me. And slowly I stopped talking to Ayyan and completely broke my contact with him.

In my new school I was left alone. Shefali stopped talking to me and whenever we use to talk ,we just had a fight.

Slowly I was going into depression ,but then someone came in my life, someone who helped me to overcome this pain. I found Prateek as my good friend.

One day he too proposed me. I was too confused what to do. Then I thought that it'll be the best way to tell Shefali that I was not a reason after her break up with ayyan.

Prateek loved me a lot but I never. He made everything possible for me to happen. And slowly I was overcoming my feelings for Ayyan and finally I fell in love with Prateek but he wasn't able to replace Ayyan's place in my heart.

Prateek was too possessive and was trying to put restrictions on me which I didn't like.

Sometimes I use to Miss Ayyan a lot but I had no other choice.

I used to look at our photos back from St. Peter's and remember those days.

I was all alone. I didn't have any friend except Prateek. I wanted to talk to everyone of them from St. Peter's and specially Ayyan.

I know he was hurt by my behaviour and I wanted to apologize to him.

It was the time when 2011 was about to end and I wanted to start 2012 with a new start, with Ayyan and all other friends.

Ayyan was angry with me; we didn't talk for more than a year.

I texted him but he was in no mood to talk. He doesn't even have my number. He behaved too rudely and when he came to know that I was texting him, he didn't even care to reply thereafter.

I didn't feel bad and because he has the right to be angry after what all happened between us.

I talked to Dhruv and asked him to help me ,but he was also frustrated at me. But it was quiet easy to convince him.

He made a plan for, 1 January 2012 and we all went to hang out.

I was trying to get close to Ayyan but he was busy in ignoring me. Then Dhruv asked him to behave properly.

At last he was convinced and started behaving properly with me.

I felt like he was always there for me and he is the only one for me. I feel comfortable in his company and I wish that everything become fine soon.

Our talks started again. He was really nice to me ,but Prateek was not happy with that.

Prateek was too possessive and he didn't like me talking to Ayyan. We started fighting on this topic. We fought many times. He wanted me to stop talking to Ayyan but I never wanted to do that.

Finally ,he asked me either to break up or to leave Ayyan . I don't know why ,but I agreed to Prateek and stopped talking to Ayyan. I was too confused to choose between Ayyan and Prateek, but at last I had to choose one.once again I decided to sacrifie for other's sake.

I chose Prateek because I don't want to hurt him and Shefali.

**********************************

Our board exam was finished as well as entrance exams. I was sitting in my room and I received a text from Ayyan, that he have been selected for Merchant Navy and will be leaving Delhi within a month. First ,I thought that he must be kidding and playing pranks, so I didn't bother it.

But later on I came to know that he was serious and he will be leaving soon.

I felt very bad and was hurt. I was all in shock and wanted to talk to him, but was not able to. I called him many times ,but he never received my call.

Then the day came when he was about to leave. I was counting the number of hours left for him to go. I was calling him, texting him again and again. But he never replied once. I was in tears for last two days. Finally ,he texted me that it was his last day in Delhi and from tommorow onwards I would never hear from him again. After reading this I could not control my tears and cried a lot. I tried talking to him. And at last he replied. He was too angry and I finally said that I loved him, but he didn't believe me and scolded me. I was too upset and was still crying.

He replied me back late at night and apologized for scolding and behaving rudely with me. And after trying for some time he was convinced to talk to me again. He went to Lonavla and I was left alone here back in Delhi. I missed him so much and wanted to be with him. But it was not possible now. He was gone far away from me. One day when I was talking to Ayyan, he proposed me and said that he loved me more than anything. I was too happy to hear this that I ached to hug him and tell him how much I wished him to be mine.

Finally our good days started and life was going smooth. But God wanted something else to happen. One day when I met Prateek, he checked my phone and in that he found my chats with Ayyan. He read all the messages and straight away he called Ayyan and asked him to stay away from me. I was all heartbroken. Prateek was irritating me and trying to put restrictions on me since starting only, but now he started scolding also and he raised his hand.

I was all broken and was confused, what to do. On the other side Ayyan was not at all ready to give me another chance. I wanted to get away from all this and live a peaceful life.

I only want Ayyan in my life and no one else. But I have no other option and choice how to get him back. I contacted Dhruv and told him everything. He agreed to help me and he is the best brother one could ever have.

He helped me to get rid of Prateek and suggested me ideas to impress Ayyan. He told me to emotionally blackmail Ayyan and ask him to help me. He told me to tell Ayyan that I broke up with Prateek and I am all alone and I want to my best friend with me.

He was so sure that, Ayyan will never refuse to help me and same thing happened. Ayyan started helping me and trying to make me feel good. Though he was not with us in Delhi but still he was with me in my heart. But he was getting more close to Naina and I didn't feel good. Yes, I was jealous because Ayyan is mine and I don't want anyone else near him.

It was the time of New Year eve, 2014 and we all friends had organized a party. He was looking dashing and handsome, he was behaving too romantic and he is a real gentleman.

The way he picked me up from my home, the way he offered me his jacket made me feel so precious. The way he offered roses and chocolates to me, it just took my heart away. I feel more and more in love with him that evening.

He helped Naina and Vikrant get together. He helped both love birds to be together and finally Vikrant was with his dream girl. Then he took me to a place where special arrangements were waiting for me. He took my heart away when he sang for me ,though he was not a good singer ,but, still I felt it very good.

He came close to me and held my hand, and finally we kissed. The moment we kissed the sky was full of lightening by fireworks. It was a dream come true for me. I was feeling shy and I pushed him slightly away from me, to free myself from his grip.

That was the biggest mistake I did. He lost his control and fell down from the end of the hill and I lost him for forever. He lost his life and I lost mine with him.

The last words which I heard from him were, " Siyaa, I love you." I sat there lost. I lost all my senses. It was not believable for me that I lost Ayyan. I fainted at the moment.

I was lying there unconscious till the next morning. Someone tried to help me and took me to the hospital from there and informed my family.

When I opened my eyes, the first word I said was, "Ayyan"

I started crying. People around me came to me and asked me what happened that night and where was Ayyan.

I was trying to speak but something chocked me. Words were not ready to come out from my mouth. I was just thinking about Ayyan. My face froze. Only my tears rolled down my numb face. I couldn't hear anything or feel any body's hand ,trying to push me, trying to wake me up. But I was already dead. Nothing was visible. I subsided ,my dream in my heart. With my open eyes all I could see was darkness. He died and planted a wound forever in my heart. This life played a funny part with me. Killed my love and made me a lifeless breathing corpse.

*****************

Ayyan's family was all broken up because they have lost their youngest son. They weren't angry with me after what I did to them and Ayyan. I visited Ayyan house and touched his mother's feet and , and I just started crying in front of her.

She hugged me and said, " Beta don't cry, he is watching us. I knew about you and how much my son loved you."

Then she took me to his room. It was all untouched. I was shocked to see his room. His room reminds me of him, of all the memories we shared together.

His room was all filled with our photos. Since our childhood till to date. I started crying after looking at his photos.

I wish that he would just come and hug me from behind and say in my ears, " VEERU, I LOVE YOU. WE WILL ALWAYS BE A LITTLE MORE THAN JUST A FRIEND."

About the Author

Paras Goel is pursuing towards his graduation in Marine Engineering. He is fond of writing poetry, taekwondo, gymming and playing chess. He loves making new friends and where-ever he goes, he leaves an image over there. He cares about his family and friends and never say "no" to someone in need and is always true at heart. This book is the part of his dream and he is proud of his own work.
