My name is Nam
and I'm living in Brisbane at the moment
my family is from Vietnam
they were refugees to
Australia in 1991.
I first noticed my
sexuality was very different
to other boys as I was growing up
in Grade Five. I had a lot more
attention towards
the male gender. From all the stuff
that I've been exposed to
in Vietnamese culture is that it is not
acceptable
in the Vietnamese culture, I find it
really hard
to really talk to anyone
in regard to my sexuality. The biggest
fear that I had when I was coming out
was that
I was worried that the family 
would lose their respect in the community
and that it would bring shame
upon the family
I didn't have a great idea on how to
explain, or coming out, in
Vietnamese language
so I decided to write them a letter
in English hoping that my sister
would be able to translate it to my
parents in Vietnamese so
they can understand that I'm gay
Hi, I'm Johann,
and I'm originally from Sri Lanka
I have been in Australia
for thirty years,
I was 38 when I came out as gay
I was a late bloomer so now I identify
as an HIV positive
ethnic person. I have Sri Lankan
friends who are afraid of
coming out to their family
because they will
lose their family. There is nothing in
Sri Lankan culture
or in the Buddhist religion
because Sri Lanka is a Buddhist country
there is nothing in any of those two
things
that say it is wrong to be a homosexual
and yet
Sri Lanka has the sodomy laws
which were brought over from Britain and
it is a 10-year jail sentence.
After a few years of coming out
to my family
it was really hard, the first few years
they
would constantly talk to me about 
changing my sexuality
it's something that they think is just a
phase I'm going through
they recommended I start going out with
girls and start trying
hoping that I'd have to change my
sexuality
and that it's just a phase 
that I'm actually I'm going through
and would change in a few years time.
I was quite upset knowing that they
weren't listening and actually accepting
my sexuality for who I am
because of that, that made me quite
depressed
it sent me into a state of depression
where I feel like I weren't heard
Well for me anyway, it was, I needed to
live a life of honesty and integrity
for myself rather than living a life
to make my parents and my
family and
my friends accept me and love me and
living a life of lies just for them.
With the help of a friend who
started encouraging me
to go to the doctor and get help I rang
up my
psychiatrist and got an appointment 
and that for me was the turning point.
That I actually rang up
and took the initiative to talk to
someone about the problem
on how to deal with it and I was
able to
free myself from this depressing state.
That was when I realied that I just
needed to accept myself for who I was.
Coming out has been the best thing I did.
Accepting yourself
is the best thing that you could ever do.
Life now is great, I'm happy now as
I have ever been
I'm able to talk to my parents at home now
more freely and more openly
I also have a partner who my parents
also accepted and
it's one of those loves which I'd never
thought was possible before coming out.
It feels awesome to be totally free.
I have gone back to study, I went and I
completed my
Diploma in community welfare
work
if you're struggling with anything, with
your mental health, call QLife.
All you will find is love
and acceptance.
