

I thank the Almighty God for guiding me through the completion of this Book, Daughter of a Diplomat. All glory and Praise goes to Him.

This book is dedicated to my parents, John and Flora Wilfred Santosham.

FOREWORD

For all of us, school and college days have a lot of exciting memories. They are packed with a variety of experiences which are special for each one of us.

This little book in your hand is a compilation of such memories, of a young girl. But you will find it to be rare and unique, because it is written by the Daughter of a Diplomat. She will take you to different countries in the Continents of Asia, Europe, Africa and America. Her experiences were special also because they start from Delhi in the early days of Independent India, moving on to strife-torn Nepal and onwards to Pondicherry and Ceylon. Then it is over to the post-World War II Europe, before moving to Africa in the apartheid days.

From the days following Gandhiji's assassination in Delhi, the story goes to Nepal, with the author's journey up the Himalayas, as she is carried for days by coolies to reach Kathmandu. Later, in another trip to Kathmandu, she flies in the King's Royal Plane! Two long ship voyages are described in detail, as also a coral-viewing trip in a glass-bottomed boat which meets with a mishap.

You will find yourself right in the middle of some historic events, with the author's father playing important roles: like in the Nepal King taking refuge in the Indian Embassy, merger of Pondicherry with India, officially announcing the liberation of Goa while in Africa, and closing down of the Indian Embassy in Southern Rhodesia. Once the author herself, then a collegian in Africa, was directly involved in an apartheid incident. She testified alone in the court there, and won her case.

In the memories recalled in this book, there were many interesting experiences. When they had just arrived in Salisbury in Southern Rhodesia, the author and her mother were interviewed by the local Press. Next day the newspaper reported it under the title, "Welcome to Flower and Peace from India", because her mother's name was Flora and the author's name, Shanthy, which means Peace!

The author's education in different countries in different languages and syllabuses was also a fascinating experience. This even involved, for her college field work, frequent drives in a jeep across thoroughfares in Africa, driving the jeep all by herself!

Through all these, she enjoyed close encounters with many eminent people. To name a few: Mother Teresa, Indira Gandhi, many Presidents/Prime Ministers of countries including Rajendra Prasad and Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru of India, many Ambassadors, Sitar maestro Ravi Shankar, famous pop song singer Tony Brendt, dancers/actresses of the Indian screen, Kamala Laxman, Padmini and Ragini, the famous mathematician Shakuntala Devi, and others too.

Thus life as a Daughter of a Diplomat had its glamour and also challenges, including the yoke of protocol. Throughout these, the author enjoyed powerful parental influence which gave her strength all the time. The life of her parents was a Journey of Faith, full of sacrifices. Their outlook was based strongly on the value of faith in God and in education. Her mother helped her in all situations, until the latter was suddenly called to her heavenly home, while on her way from Guyana in the West Indies to Madras for the author's second confinement.

In her home, Christian values and virtues were stressed. Prayer and God's guidance were resorted to always, especially for making critical decisions. On one occasion, the author's father, who was then India's High Commissioner in an African country, dared to refuse a directive of the host country's government. When he faced this situation, he retired to the privacy of his room for a few minutes. Then when he came out he conveyed his refusal.

This book, though compact, will take you through all these, and much more ! For me, it was a very interesting experience indeed, to go through the entire story minutely, to edit and assign sub-titles. I am sure that everyone will enjoy going through the rare experiences described by this Daughter of a Diplomat. They will also get enlightening glimpses of some important historical events. Who knows, this book may inspire other daughters and sons of Diplomats to also come forward and share their memories, which would each be unique in their own way.

I wish God's blessings upon the author in all her interests and involvements, and also upon her near and dear ones, for many years to come.

M. RATNA PRABHU

Senior Deputy Director, Ahmedabad Textile Industry's Research Association

Research Advisor, Ahmedabad Management Association

  Family Photograph, 1963 (Salisbury, Southern Rhodesia)

Table of Contents

Foreword Ratna Prabhu Monsingh

Prologue

Chapter 1 My Family

Chapter 2 Nepal: Father's First Diplomatic Posting

Chapter 3 Nepal to Madras, for Education

Chapter 4 Stay with Grandmother in Vellore

Chapter 5 Schooling in Madras

Chapter 6 Merger of Pondicherry with Indian Union

Chapter 7 My First Sea Voyage (1956)

Chapter 8 My Splendorous Life in Germany

Chapter 9 Across Europe by Train, Ceylon bound by Sea

Chapter 10 Ceylon, the Emerald Island

Chapter 11 Over to Africa

Chapter 12 Goodbye to My Diplomatic Passport

Chapter 13 My Father's Retirement and a Terrible Tragedy

Chapter 14 Rare Memories of a Diplomat's Daughter

Glossary

Madras Chennai

Ceylon Sri Lanka

Nyasaland Malawi

Northern Rhodesia Zambia

Southern Rhodesia Zimbabwe

Salisbury Harare

Embassy Highest government office represented in a foreign

country

High Commission Highest government office represented in

a Commonwealth country

Ambassador Highest government official representing his country in a

foreign country

High Commissioner Highest government officer representing his country in

a Commonwealth country

DAUGHTER OF A DIPLOMAT

Shanthy Pragalsingh
PROLOGUE

My journey as an Indian diplomat's daughter was unique and exciting. It began when India had just gained independence from the British, with the Indian Foreign Service in the incubation process. Simultaneously, many geo-political changes were also taking place globally. It was unimaginable that my father could enter the Indian Foreign Service, in spite of belonging to the minority Christian group. He was just a clerk in the Government Accounts office, and was offered a very challenging diplomatic posting in Nepal, which marked the beginning of his diplomatic career that spanned twenty years across several countries. Even today the Indian Foreign Service continues to be one of the most prestigious and coveted of government services.

As a diplomat's daughter, I was highly privileged to travel widely with my parents, and to live through some historical events of those times. In the course, I had the opportunity of meeting and interacting with Heads of countries like Presidents, Prime Ministers, Governor Generals as well as prestigious dignitaries of various countries. Needless to say, for a growing young girl, it was a lifetime opportunity of varied interesting experiences including striking long lasting friendships with people of various nationalities. Before plunging into the main story, I will give glimpses of a few of my experiences here. I shall relate them in detail later as my memoir proceeds down the timeline.

In 1947 we were in Delhi when India gained independence from the British. We were also there in 1948 when the Father of the Nation, Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi was shot down by Nathuram Godse. I was 5 years old then, and was witness to all the turbulence that followed both these events.

In Nepal where my father had his first diplomatic posting, the Indian Embassy was at walking distance from our home. One Sunday, my father was walking home after clearing some pending work at the office. He was shocked to find King Mahindra, the King of Nepal, his family and his entourage seeking refuge in the Indian Embassy as they tried to flee from the Ranas who were opposed to the monarchy.

In 1954, my father was posted to Pondicherry which was considered to be a foreign posting, as Pondicherry was then under French rule. Mr. Kewalsingh, the Consul General and my father as Vice- Consul were instrumental in the country reaching a milestone, that is, the smooth merger of Pondicherry with the Indian Union. Later when we were in Germany, we were witness to the remnants of World War II. Within a span of 2 years we saw the metamorphosis of Deutschland as a reconstructed modern country, though as a nation, the people were still reeling under emotional and other kinds of turmoil.

During my father's tenure in Ceylon, now known as Sri Lanka, Prime Minister Bandaranaike was assassinated and his wife Srimavo Bandaranaike took over as the Prime Minister. Problems of the Tamil Tigers had just begun and my father had to deal with this very sensitive issue.

My father's assignment in Central Africa was quite a challenge as he was in the Indian Foreign Service in the Central African Federation comprising of Northern Rhodesia (the present day Zambia), Southern Rhodesia (the present day Zimbabwe) and Nyasaland (Malawi). At that time Central Africa was under the rule of the British. We saw the emergence of Independent Zambia and Malawi. With the support of the Government of India, my father closed down the Indian Commission in Southern Rhodesia, in protest against the then Prime Minister of Southern Rhodesia , Ian Smith's extreme apartheid policy and his intention to unilaterally declare independence with a government dominated by Whites.

During the period of three years' stay in Central Africa, I had met Prime Minister Kaunda. Notwithstanding the fact that he lived in a hut, he had risen to become the Prime Minister of the country, catapulting him into the sprawling official residence.

Studying in various countries, particularly in a German medium school, which meant studying all subjects like Math, Science, History, Geography and even French in German, interacting with international students and getting exposed to many cultures were other unique and invaluable experiences that broadened my outlook to life and shaped it.

A description of these experiences is covered in the pages that follow. My family background and some details of the later part of my life will be interwoven with the narrative. I have also drawn vital information regarding our younger days from my younger brother, Dr. Mathuram Santosham's writing as well as from my elder brother Dr T V Santosham and these have helped kindle my memory.

I must also mention here how I was inspired to write this book. In 1997, my husband and I located to Singapore for about four years as our son-in-law, Pradeep, was travelling most of the time. Our daughter, Preeth, needed our assistance in looking after their three young children who were born in succession. At the end of this sojourn, we attended a farewell dinner where our hosts , Audrey Harte and her husband, were very excited to listen to my experiences as an Indian diplomat's daughter. They encouraged me to compile my experiences in a book. The seed that was thus sown that day took root over the years resulting in this endeavor. Another impetus for this project came from my friend, Adele who was working for the British High Commission in Singapore. I would ride with her to a Church-based Bible course when she would share the problems that she had faced in her diplomatic life.

Diplomatic life provides one with exciting perks that include meeting Heads of States, visiting various countries and enjoying a luxurious life style. However, it all comes with challenges such as adapting to various cultures, coping with foreign languages, adjusting to various schools, colleges and varied systems of education, and constantly bidding farewell , often to your own close family members and friends. Though diplomatic immunity is provided, family members are also bound by protocol which constrains them from freely expressing their inner feelings and thoughts,often resulting in stress. But then, it is this combination of benefits and constraints that makes diplomatic life so exciting, challenging and colorful. Thus my urge to write this book was further strengthened. I thank God for giving me this opportunity, and I seek His guidance to complete this book.

Chapter 1

MY FAMILY

Psychologists say that adults can remember incidents from their younger days, even when they were as young as 2 and 3 years. Unfortunately, my memory goes back to when I was around 4 years old. It is also believed that there are three ego states in every human being: as a parent , adult and child ( PAC). All of these have a profound effect as they shape a person's attitude, nature and have a bearing on his or her life in total. In my case, I believe that my experiences as an Indian diplomat's daughter had a strong influence on me as they helped me to cope with varied situations and relate successfully to different types of people in my life.

My father Wilfred Santosham, son of Abraham Santosham, hailed from Madurai, and had three brothers and three sisters. He lost his father at a very young age. As the eldest son, he took on the responsibility of educating his brothers: Mathuram Santosham, who became a doctor, Eddie Santosham, a lawyer, and Davsingh Santosham, an engineer. Each one of them made a mark in their fields. My father could not pursue professional education. However, he completed his M Sc in Mathematics and took up a job, though still very young, due to force of circumstances.

My mother Flora Harris, the youngest among her five siblings, also lost her father at an early age. He was the Headmaster of Voorhees College in Vellore, and I believe he lent support to the famous Ida Scudder during the founding of the prestigious Christian Medical College (CMC) in Vellore, one of the renowned hospitals in Asia.

My father was tall, dark and handsome with wavy hair while my mother was fair, tall and beautiful with long, straight hair. I have heard from many sources that both she and her sister Sophia were known as Princesses of Vellore.

My father's brother Dr Mathuram, known to us as Willie Uncle, and my mother's brother Vincy Uncle were friends, and they brought up the proposal of marriage between my parents. Being practical, my father told my mother during their first meeting that he was only a clerk in the Accounts General Office and was earning a meager sum with very little hope of going up the professional ladder. In spite of this candid confession of a bleak future as well as having many other good offers for marriage, my mother accepted my father's proposal, and they were married in Vellore. They started their journey together with Christ as their constant companion, trusting that He would protect and guide them through their life. Their romance lasted until my mother died in 1969 at the early age of 51. After her death my father strongly believed she was with him in spirit and would guide him through the remainder of his life.

They had three children, Viji in 1940, then me in 1942 and Mathuram in 1944. All of us were born in Vellore at No 7, Jackson Street, in my maternal grandmother's house. It is amazing that all the deliveries were conducted at home with the help of a midwife. My elder brother was a breach case but the midwife maneuvered the baby skillfully without any complication. I remember my grandmother mentioning how Dr Ida Scudder, a missionary and the founder of CMC, Vellore, would walk across from the Officers Lane to our residence to see my younger brother, Mathuram, when he was born. It is amazing that today this same brother, known as Dr. Mathuram Santosham, is arranging funding of CMC Vellore through many research projects under the aegis of the World Health Organization (WHO).  
I have very little remembrance of my early days in Madras (now called Chennai) but I have often heard my parents talk about their life in that city and about their stint in Bangalore.

My father was posted in Delhi in 1947. We lived there during the initial stages of the Hindu–Muslim riots and my mother would be worried till my father returned home safely from work. She would pray fervently and request us to pray for him as well. On one occasion, I remember looking over the parapet of our house and seeing a pregnant woman being stabbed in the riots that had erupted. I don't remember who was Hindu or who was Muslim, but I witnessed fires of hatred and resentment, with emotions running high and a complete absence of rationalism. In retrospect, it was a country in which nationalism had been at its peak, a country where both Hindus and Muslims had fought in unison for independence from the British. Had such a country as this lost focus of its goals, I wondered. One act of partition had eclipsed everything that India stood for, a nation that had a rich history etched around it, with the early civilizations leaving their mark on this ancient land handing down priceless collections of art and traditions.

India, a land of milk and honey, attracted invaders. It is ironical that 95% of the Muslims in India are descendants of Hindus who were converted during invasions. Having the same desires and aspirations basically, they had co-existed peacefully for long. Yet, upon the insistence of one man, Mohammad Ali Jinnah, the British partitioned India, and Pakistan was born. India got its Independence on 15 August 1947 and jubilant cries of Jai Hind (Victory for India) reverberated across the country as the tricolour was hoisted high with pride. Sadly, it was a time of mourning for persons like Gandhiji and Nehru. India had gained independence from the British but had succumbed to political pressures.

I distinctly remember the day Gandhiji was assassinated. One of our play mates , a 7-year old, innocent Muslim boy, came running and exclaimed joyfully "Gandhi is shot, Gandhi is shot". Obviously, this little boy was simply repeating what he had heard adults remarking. I wonder whether he really understood why he was rejoicing. It was later that I realized how one act of a politician could sow seeds of hatred. I often wondered what type of citizen the young boy would turn out to be.

My parents were extremely upset and fasted that day. But, oblivious to the gravity of the situation, we children ate and slept peacefully. Gandhiji, a great man who won independence for India through Ahimsa (a means not used by any country to gain independence), was shot down with a gun by Godse. I wonder what triggered so much hatred in him to gun down a man who stood for Ahimsa and had achieved so much for India. Hundreds and thousands of people walked to the cremation ground in silence to pay homage to the Father of our Nation .

My father walked with my elder brother Viji as a mark of respect for a selfless man who had sacrificed his life for the country which he loved so dearly. I remember my mother mentioning later that she had attended the preliminary hearing of Godse's trial in court. She could enter the court with her photo identity pass, which I still possess.

The situation in Delhi grew tense and dangerous. So, my mother and the three of us were sent to Vellore to be with my grandmother. The dry heat was so unbearable that at the Delhi station, I started bleeding heavily through the nose. My father had to place some ice on my nose till the bleeding stopped. My father remained in Delhi. Later we heard from him about the ravages of the riots. He was witness to the bloody bodies strewn on the roads, as he cycled every day to work through these streets. Though we had gone through some traumatic experiences in Delhi, the city held great significance for our family in some ways. For, it was here that we stayed together as a family over a considerable length of time. And it was here that one of the officers for whom my father worked was greatly impressed with him and offered him a posting to Nepal.

Chapter 2

NEPAL: FATHER'S FIRST DIPLOMATIC POSTING

My father's first diplomatic posting was to Kathmandu, Nepal, where he stayed from 1949 to 1952. The journey to Kathmandu was arduous and very dangerous. Thankfully, my father had the support of my mother and grandmothers when he accepted the offer. This decision was a turning point for our family. My father always believed that when God gives you an opportunity, you should never let it go. For, an opportunity once lost may be lost forever.

Nepal was considered to be the abode of the Gods. For many years it was known as a secret and unknown country. It was in the 1950's that the country had taken up the challenge of modernizing itself, shedding its 11th century mindset. It was during this period that my father took up the posting in Kathmandu.

Nowadays, Nepal has become an attraction for tourists, particularly for mountaineers aiming to climb Mt Everest. At one time Nepal was a haven for the hippies, but later, restrictions were imposed in 1989 to curb the hippie culture. Politically, the country was going through difficult times, with the Indian government supporting the monarchy which was strongly and even violently opposed by the Ranas.

When my father was posted to Nepal, the Indian Ambassador Mr CPN Singh wrote to the Prime Minister of India, Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru, that sending a Christian at that point of time may not be advisable. But the Prime Minister's reply was: "Wilfred must go." Being my father's first foreign posting, it was a challenging one. He was going to a very difficult country that was experiencing difficult times. His boss really did not want him there and he was going there as Registrar, a fairly junior position. All odds were against him, but with a firm faith in God, the conviction of the Prime Minister of India and my mother's rock solid support, he took up the challenge with a sincere prayer in his heart.

Though the Ambassador, Mr CPN Singh had initially objected to my father's posting to Nepal, it wasn't long before he began to depend profoundly on him. My father was a great strategist and a shrewd analyst. So much so, the Ambassador would often bypass senior officers like the Defense Secretary, Colonel Catoach and First Secretary Mr. Gupta and assign responsibilities to him. Noteworthy is the fact that these gentlemen also came to respect my father's diplomatic acumen by and by.

Journey to Kathmandu

My father had to join duty immediately. This meant that my young mother, at 31 years, had to travel separately with the three young children aged 5, 7 and 9 years. With complete trust in God and the assistance of a domestic help, Michael, we all embarked on the long and gruelling journey. There were no commercial planes available then, and we had to take multiple modes of transport to reach our destination. We first travelled by train for two days to reach Calcutta, then by another train to go to Patna. From there, we took a narrow gauge train and arrived at Raxaul, which was the last border town on the Indian side. A 4-hour ride by bus took us to Birgang, which was a town in Nepal in the foot hills of the Himalayas.

My father came all the way down from Kathmandu through the mountainous area to Birgang to meet us. For our journey up the mountain, my elder brother and I were carried by four men in a dandy, a triangular shaped wooden contraption with two poles attached on the sides for the men to carry. My younger brother and my mother were carried by eight men in a palanquin, which was a status symbol. My father was on a pony though at other times he often preferred to walk the distance.

The rugged tracks were precipitously close to the edge of the mountain, and it was terrifying to look down the valley. These men who carried us were fully drunk as this perhaps gave them the strength and courage to go through the perilous journey. On the way there were many bridges which were broken due to rains, and we had to get down and wade through the water. Finally when we reached Kathmandu, we were totally exhausted. On the whole, it had taken us one week to reach Kathmandu from Madras.

In Kathmandu

In Kathmandu I was overwhelmed with the beautiful quarters that the Government of India had allotted to my father. In retrospect, I can vouch that though I have traveled to many countries including Switzerland, I don't think I have ever seen nature in its full glory as I did in Nepal. You could see every shade of green, and flowers in a riot of colors growing in abundance in the wild. I specially remember the wild roses which were in a beautiful pink while the cascade of flower-decked creepers spread a sweet fragrance, and not a single leaf was visible on them. From the balcony of our house we had a breathtaking view of the Himalayas and the snow-capped Everest peak. I remember sitting often and watching its serene beauty.

My mother maintained a beautiful flower garden in the front of our compound, and a sprawling vegetable and fruit garden in the backyard. She grew every vegetable you could think of: cabbages, cauliflowers, carrots, potatoes, turnips, chives, maize, sugarcane, strawberries, etc. The list could go on and on. We also had huge Bomlimos trees which bore humongous fruits of the citrus variety.

Recently, I visited my brother in Penticton in Canada, when he told me that all the fruits and vegetables my mother grew were due to her own efforts with the help of just two Nepalese women gardeners. Very often, my mother would send baskets of vegetables to the Nepal royal family and they would reciprocate by sending us baskets of luscious fruits grown in the royal gardens. Though I was quite young while in Nepal, I have vivid memories of the place.

We had many friends there from the diplomatic circle. The children of the American Ambassador were our playmates. Once when we visited them, the hostess served us with scooped loose jacket orange pulp in a chilled orange skin bowl. I have not had the pleasure of having it again any time.

The Indian Ambassador in Kathmandu, Mr CPN Singh, had a grandson, Bublu. Often, a car would be sent for us to go over and play with him at his residence.

The Ambassador

The Ambassador's residence was a beautiful palace (Sithal Nivas). It had majestic buildings with huge pillars, ornate rooms and sprawling gardens. I always looked with awe at the huge perfume bottles displayed at various places in the palace. Every room had a unique décor that created a tasteful ambience.

Often we would meet the Ambassador in his office, which was located in his residence. He himself was from an Indian royal family. He had a very guttural voice which was the result of his relatives trying to poison him to inherit his wealth. Providentially, because of overdose he escaped from the jaws of death but his vocal chords were affected. Even in his busy schedule he would find time for us. I distinctly remember the adult conversation he would have with us. As it is said, great men always find time for everything and everybody. Mr. CPN Singh was one of the greatest diplomats of his time, and played a historical role when he represented India as Ambassador to China at a very crucial time. I feel privileged to have memories of having interacted with him.

Encounters, Experiences and Observations in Nepal

The Nepalese worshipped snakes. Cobras were seen in plenty in our garden. One cobra used to visit our house regularly, and our servants would feed it with milk. My brothers and I used to be fascinated watching this ritual with great interest. One day much to the horror of my mother, my brother Viji and I were mesmerised watching a wild cobra hissing with hood spread out. She desperately called for Michael, our Indian help, who quietly and deftly pulled us out from there.

Monkeys were also worshipped ardently by the Nepalese, Nepal being home to them. Once when we had gone for a picnic, my mother was guarding our food while we went off for a walk with our father. When we returned we were amused by a most amusing sight. My mother was reading the newspaper and, sitting opposite her pretending to read the newspaper was a monkey. Hordes of monkeys were also sitting around her. My mother was so engrossed in her reading that she had no idea of being surrounded by our four-legged friends! Luckily, we had a bunch of bananas which my father threw at them. It was enough to disperse them as they happily charged at the fruit leaving us unharmed.

Another exciting experience in Nepal was spotting wild animals very close to our residence. Often there were warnings of wild tigers roaming or appearing near human habitations. Jackals carrying away infants into the woods and never being found was a very frequent occurrence in Kathmandu. The cheetah, the fastest and the most dangerous of the cat family, was also sighted often in the vicinity of our house.

Holi, the local festival of colors, was celebrated in a big way in Nepal. I remember the Embassy staff storming our house once and smearing my father with colors. The women got together and poured a thick green fluid over my mother. The color stuck to her skin and it was days before she could wash it off. We children enjoyed these festivities and would try to dodge to escape being smeared with colors.

One incident that I remember is a fall that I had, gashing my knee so badly that I had to be carried to the only available hospital. Since the wound was deep, the doctor informed my mother that he had to stitch it up. On hearing this I was petrified. On top of it, he was going to do the procedure without any anesthesia. I screamed with pain, which made the doctor even more nervous. Even now I have the mark on my knee.

There was no church in Nepal. Father Sharp and Father John, two priests from Delhi, were invited twice by my parents to conduct the Worship Service in our house. An altar was set up and many diplomats and their families attended the Service. I am amazed that Father Sharp and Father John undertook the tedious journey to Nepal all the way from Delhi to conduct the Service and administer Holy Communion.

Royal Wedding

Royal weddings were spectacular and were always a time for great festivities in Kathmandu. We were invited for one of the royal weddings, and elephants were sent to our house for us to join the procession. Unfortunately much to our disappointment, all three of us were down with fever and were not able to go. However, my parents attended the ceremony. During the procession, the Royal Couple would throw gold coins for the poor to pick up.

Political Turmoil

Some politically stirring events happened during my father's tenure in Nepal. On a Sunday, my father made a routine visit to the Embassy to check the official mail. A great commotion in front of the building took him by surprise. Shocked and dismayed, he found that King Tribhuvan with his entourage was present inside.

The actual events unfolded in the following manner. Wanting to escape from the Ranas who were bitter enemies of the monarchy, the King had fled the palace and sought refuge in the Indian Embassy premises. The Indian government strongly supported the monarchy due to which the Indian diplomats were exposed to grave danger arising out of constant conflicts and disturbances. With the safety of the King, his entourage and the royal family being one of the prime responsibilities of the Indian Embassy, my father was given charge of it. Before the Ranas could capture the King, he had to take a lightning-quick decision to provide security and accommodation to the King, his entourage and the royal family. In consultation with the Ambassador, the royal convoy was led to the Ambassador's residence where top level security was organised. Within a few hours, my father also arranged for all essentials and royal paraphernalia such as carpets, beds, food, drink, fruits, nuts, etc. to be flown in from Delhi.

What was surprising that day was that the Crown Prince Gyanendra, who was then a 3- year old boy, had been left behind in the palace with a group of caretakers. Surely, the Ranas would not be so heartless as to kill a toddler, even if they despised the monarchy. In fact, they crowned this toddler, all of 3, as the King.

Later Developments in Nepal

In November 1950, King Tribhuvan fled from Nepal to Delhi with the help of the Indian Embassy. His grandson Gyanendra, who was crowned King at the tender age of 3, occupied the throne until he returned to Nepal on 18 February 1951 and took over the reins once again. Later, we heard that King Tribhuvan died in 1955 in Switzerland under mysterious circumstances. Gyanendra became the King once again only in the year 2001. Thus he was crowned twice, once for three months as a boy of 3 , and again in 2001. His reign lasted until the royalty was massacred in 2008. Monarchy was then totally abolished in Nepal and he was stripped of all royal responsibilities.

My father had to travel to distant places within Nepal often, and many times had to face the wrath of the Ranas. God was his protector. Once the car in which my father used to travel normally was very badly stoned by agitators. However, the Indian Intelligence had tipped the concerned people who had wisely put him in another car with heavy protection and brought him home safely. Till he reached home, my mother and we three children sat in a stone- like silence, trembling with fear for his life and safety. At one time my brother Mathuram and my mother had to be escorted back home in a car with a motorcade of army men accompanying them with rifles.

Oh, for the beautiful Nepal

My memory of Nepal is as a beautiful country, rich and verdant in natural beauty. I often feel how wonderful it would be to visit it one day. Would I be welcomed by the same pristine and divine beauty? Recently, we met some Nepalese who have migrated to Chennai. While conversing with them, we got a very gloomy picture. We heard that though monarchy has been abolished in Nepal, the cost of living has shot up , jobs are hard to come by and life in general has become very hard for the common man. I regret hearing this of Nepal, a country I hold close to my heart. I would have always loved to carry the image of a beautiful country in which I spent a significant part of my childhood.

(My brother, Viji and I being carried in a Dandy through the Himalayan Mountains)

(Mr CPN Singh, the Indian Ambassador)

(The Royal Invitation)

Chapter 3

NEPAL TO MADRAS, FOR EDUCATION

It would've been a dream come true, if only we had good education facilities in Kathmandu. However, there were neither good schools nor good tutors. My parents were constrained to take the most difficult decision of their lives: sending my elder brother and me to India, which seemed to be the only option. Now I am a mother and grandmother myself; I often think how heartbreaking it must have been for my parents to part with their children, a 7 and a 9-year old. I also wonder how both of us agreed to leave our parents at such a young age with our peon Ratanlal, a Gurkha. I vividly remember my parents and my younger brother Mathuram standing at the foot of the mountains as we were carried away by four men in a dandy while Ratanlal, with his kukri (Nepalese sword) tucked in his waist for protection, walked alongside.

Journey through the Mountains

The path we traversed was very narrow; if one of the men carrying us slipped, we all were sure to go tumbling down the valley, a virtual abyss. As we proceeded, we saw a group coming in the opposite direction, a group of twenty people carrying a huge American car. Yes,... carrying, not driving! Those days, there was no other way of transporting a car. I don't distinctly remember how they managed the feat in that narrow road, but it must have been a very difficult maneuver indeed.

The men who were carrying us had their own way of taking breaks. Because of the extremely strenuous nature of their job, they would halt overnight on reaching a guest house. They would slaughter a cow, feast heartily even as they downed some locally made hard drinks. This would give them the strength and energy to carry on with the journey the next day.

I remember my brother holding my hand tightly throughout our journey lest we fall down the valley. He would also sit perched in such a way that would give me most of the space in the dandy. In difficult stretches, because I would refuse to walk even a short distance, he would volunteer to walk so that I could travel comfortably. My father would try to talk to us over the phone whenever we reached a guest house for overnight stay. But, the telephone lines in 1949 were so poor that we could hardly hear him. I can imagine what kind of a nightmare my parents must have had.

During one of our stays in the guest house, we had an electrifying experience. Right in front of the bungalow, a wild mongoose and a snake were fighting. My brother and I watched it with our eyes almost popping out of our sockets. We also saw a leopard sitting majestically on a rock on the other side of the valley. In the night we heard strange noises of wild animals.

Throughout our journey, the loyal Ratanlal closely guarded and protected us. My father had given him a good sum of money for emergencies. He could have easily got rid of us on the journey through the rugged mountains and run away with the money. But he was so faithful that he kept a close watch over us all the way. Because of this one loyal Gurkha, I have great respect for the entire Gurkha tribe and shall remain grateful to them all my life.

Down on the plains, we proceeded through our journey in many modes of transport . We crossed the Hoogly River by boat and travelled by train to reach Madras after almost five days. We were totally exhausted. To face all such ordeals, I learnt from my parents, even at that tender age of 7, to totally depend on God.

Chapter 4

STAY WITH GRANDMOTHER IN VELLORE

From Madras I went to Vellore to my maternal grandmother's home while my brother Viji went to my paternal grandmother's home in Madurai. I think this separation affected him immensely. He has often expressed to me that he had nightmares of losing me during the journey from Nepal to Madras. I don't distinctly remember much about my feelings at that time. At the age of 7, I am sure I must have been traumatized too. Very often people have asked how my parents had the heart to send us like that. Often I thank God for the faith my parents had in Him and the importance they gave to our education, for which they made various kinds of sacrifice.

My grandmother was widowed while very young and lived all by herself in a big house. She was a slim, tall lady with a straight gait and wore Konrad sarees (a type of hand-woven saree). She loved Cuticura facial talcum powder and always carried her favorite cobra skin handbag whenever she went out. I remember her generous nature. In those days rickshaws were pulled by humans and not with the aid of a cycle as they are these days. My grandmother would feed many rickshaw pullers with ragi gruel, rice, curry and buttermilk. She was always ready to help the poor.

My grandmother raised goats, cows, chicken and turkey in her backyard. I have even seen a calf being born in her cowshed. She made Theratipaal (a sweet prepared with the first milk of the cow after the delivery of the calf) and distributed it among all her friends and relatives.

My grandmother's house had ornate pillars and an open courtyard inside the house, with a garden of fruits and vegetable trees (this concept of a garden within the house is catching up with the younger generation nowadays). She grew a soapnut tree in the garden: the leaves were used as feed for the goats and cows whereas the nuts were soaked in water and used as detergent, especially for washing silk sarees. When it comes to the sheen and freshness that the silk fabric obtained after a wash, this humble soapnut could easily give the most modern detergents a run for money.

The All Saints Church was near our home in Vellore. I accompanied my grandmother to the church every day in the morning for worship. The church bell would ring to alert us that it was time to leave for church. Incidentally, this was also the church in which my mother, as a young girl, used to play the organ during Sunday Service. During Christmas, my grandmother cooked turkey. She would make a variety of Palaharams (sweetmeats) at home. It was her practice to make the cake dough at home and send it to the bakery for baking. She would distribute cakes and other goodies to her neighbors. For her, religion, language or caste did not make any difference. The neighbors in turn reciprocated during their festivals. I have enjoyed the best biryani that our Muslim friends gave us as much as the delicious Pongal, Vadai and other snacks that our South Indian Hindu friends shared with us during their festivals. In fact, I would get especially dressed during the Navaratri festival and accompany my grandmother to friends' houses and enjoy the takeaway bags with chundal, a specialty distributed among guests during this festival.

My grandmother owned lands in a village called Adukamparai. From there she received her quota of rice, ragi and wheat, which she would store in a huge barn inside the house itself. The banana bunches and mangoes were left there to ripen. Often my friends and I would raid the barn and feast on the fruits.

Our visits to Adukamparai were most enjoyable. I loved watching sugarcane being crushed for making karupatti, a crude unrefined form of jaggery. We would sit inside a hut on a coir cot and be served with Nungu (Palmyra fruit) and tender coconut water along with its inner, tender pulp. Very often I would enjoy munching on the sugarcane directly.

Visit to Kathmandu in Style

During my Vellore days, once an exciting event took place. My grandmother told me that my brother and I along with my cousin sister, Lalithakka, would be visiting our parents. We were to fly from Delhi to Kathmandu! Lalithakka was doing her Ph D in Organic Chemistry and the purpose of her trip to Nepal was to collect data for her research on Pigmentation in Flowers.

This time we surely traveled to Kathmandu in style. We flew in the King's royal plane and enjoyed royal treatment. At this point I must give some details about the royal plane. This was in 1951 and it was a small Dakota aircraft. The pressure in the cabin would keep fluctuating and because of the air turbulence outside, the plane would drop several feet every now and then. The air hostesses were very kind and made special effort to keep us comfortable. This journey was really a remarkable luxury compared to the arduous journey on the harsh mountainous terrain we had made previously. We had a great time indeed.

In Kathmandu, it was lovely to be united with my parents and my younger brother, Mathuram. I envied him as he stayed with parents, but was happy to be back home. The happy time, however, was short lived.

Mathuram – Also to India

I heard that my parents had tried sending Mathuram to a hostel in Nepal. But I believe he had refused even to eat or bathe there. Finally, they had to bring him back home. However, keeping his education and future in mind, my parents decided to send him to India. My mother flew with him to India, and went to my paternal grandmother's house in Madurai where Viji, my elder brother and Eddie Uncle , a bachelor then, were also staying. My grandmother and uncle showered their love on both my brothers and ensured they were as happy as they possibly could.

It was time for my mother to fly back to Nepal. All three of us felt miserable to bid goodbye to her.It must have been heart breaking for her too to go back to Nepal leaving my brothers in Madurai and me in Vellore. I often wonder whether it was such tension that caused her premature death, at the early age of 51.

My grandmother not only helped me gain an insight into Indian villages but she also instilled in me great religious values which I cherish till date. I believe before she died she had mentioned to her friends and relatives that the only regret in her life was that she would not be present at my wedding. I often think fondly of all the efforts she made to see that I did not miss my parents. I missed her presence and blessings very much during my wedding. I am sure she would have loved meeting my husband, Pragal.

A Nostalgic Visit to Vellore

We celebrated my father's birth centenary in the year 2011. Our family comprising of my brother Viji, his children Peter and Ruth, nephew Vasanth, Pragal and I went to Vellore to visit my grandmother's home. We visited the All Saint's Church in which my mother had not only played the organ but had also got married. We also visited the college in which my grandfather had taught and my mother had studied. All these brought back lovely memories, filling me with a pleasant nostalgia.

CHAPTER 5

SCHOOLING IN MADRAS

My Father's Transfer to Pondicherry

One day when I returned home from school, my grandmother told me that she had received a letter from my mother to say that my father had been transferred to Pondicherry as Vice Consul. Though this posting was within India, it was considered to be a foreign posting since Pondicherry was then ruled by the French. My hopes started soaring high. How wonderful that soon all five of us would reunite as a family and stay together in Pondicherry! But my dreams were shattered.

Though India had gained Independence from the British, Goa and Pondicherry were under Portuguese and French rule. Pondicherry followed the French education system which was obviously different from the Indian education system, and so my brothers continued to study in Madurai. Since my grandmother with whom I was staying was deteriorating in health, my parents decided to admit me in Vidyodaya Girls High School in Madras, and I had to move to a hostel. However, studying in Madras meant that my parents were only a short distance away which was a great consolation. Thus I studied in Vidyodaya from Class 5 to Class 9.

Very often through newspaper reports, I would get news of the problems in Pondicherry as well as the threats and dangers my father was facing. Being in a hostel and away from the family made it very difficult and scary for me. Miss Appasamy, our Headmistress, would often call me over to her office room and cheer me up while reassuring me of my father's safety. As for my stay in the hostel, I enjoyed it thoroughly and I have very pleasant memories.

Since Pondicherry was close to Madras, my parents would visit me often. My uncle and aunt, Dr Santosham and Susheela Aunty, would often drive me to Pondicherry for weekends. Every time I went back to the hostel, my mother would pack up marshmallows and chocolates for my friends. Even after Pondicherry became independent from French rule, it remained a free port for French goods. I remember my mother would get chiffon sarees from France with lovely cocktail prints.

It was during my schooling in Vidyodaya that I learnt Kathakali dance from the renowned maestro, Gopikrishna, a task master as well. I also learnt to play the piano. Though I did pass three of the Trinity College exams, I gave it up because my teacher was so strict that I lost interest in learning. My father was very keen I should learn to play an Indian Instrument. A teacher was identified to teach me Veena, an Indian string instrument. Unfortunately the teacher left, and I could not continue with it.

Performing before Nehruji & the Russian President

Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru, Prime Minister of India, along with Khrushchev, President of Russia were visiting Madras. Along with some other girls from school, I participated in a dance program organized in their honor. Nehruji came over and congratulated our performance. Needless to say we were thrilled. On that day when the band played the National Anthem, they started on a wrong note. Nehruji was so upset that he just shouted on top of his voice, "Stop it ". There was pin drop silence for a while before they started again. That day I realized the importance of the National Anthem. I felt a deep sense of patriotism.

Vidyodaya Re-visited

I must mention here that, decades later, when I became the Dean of Kothari Academy for Women, I was invited by Vidyodaya School as Chief Guest for one of their functions. I felt very proud to be honored in my own school which held lovely memories for me.
Chapter 6

MERGER OF PONDICHERRY WITH INDIAN UNION

Pondicherry has a very interesting history. It was colonized originally by the Portuguese, then the Dutch, followed by the French in 1816. The French ruled here for 138 years. The neighboring cities, Yemen, Karikal and Mahe were also under French rule. So these cities came under my father's jurisdiction as well.

My father joined duty at Pondicherry during a momentous period in the history of Pondicherry. The freedom movement in the country was very active. While the Indian government wanted Pondicherry to be a part of the Indian Union, the French government resisted it. Mr. Kewalsingh and my father were actively involved in all aspects of getting independence from the French. It was widely believed that my father's life was exposed to danger, and thus he was advised to carry a gun with him when he traveled. But he refused to do so. However, two security guards with rifles were always posted in front of the house.

Our Home & French Cuisine

My parents moved into a beautiful house situated very close to the beach. It had huge rooms and enormous French windows and doors. I always enjoyed my visits to this house. I remember our family visits to the Club (Circle de Pondicherry) which still exists. While we children played around, my father enjoyed his tennis sessions. He, Mr. Kewalsingh and other government officials would meet here and take many important political decisions which shaped the future of Pondicherry.

We had a butler who cooked excellent French food. One of his delicacies I distinctly remember was a chicken dish. Skillfully manipulating with his hand, he would remove the bones completely from the whole chicken and pack it with a special filling. Then he would stitch the stomach up, roast the chicken and finally present it like a 'live' chicken, sitting with eggs around it. He would serve it with Consume soup followed by Petiteberre pudding. My mouth waters even now after nearly 60 years. I remember tiger prawns also as one of my favorites when I visited Pondicherry. As it was available in plenty in Pondicherry, it was often on our menu. The French loved frog legs, and so the butler would often persuade us to have it. But much to his disappointment I never tried it. Later in life on the insistence of our good friend, Mr. Premraj, I tasted it in Singapore and really enjoyed it. I then regretted refusing it in Pondicherry.

Aurobindo Ashram

We were often guests of Mother at the Aurobindo Ashram. A lady of French origin, she had started this institution which attracted not only Indians but foreigners from across the world. Many rich people used to come to the Ashram seeking peace. She often gave us private audience and invited us to many of the functions of the Ashram. Needless to say, she became an international figure. Later in my life I met people throughout the world who were amazed that I had actually known and met Mother.

Nehruji & Daughter Indira Visit Pondicherry

My early memories of Mrs. Indira Gandhi were when she accompanied her father Nehruji to Pondicherry as a young girl. Mr and Mrs Kewalsingh had organized a party in their honor. Young Indira looked very charming, draped in a Kanjeevaram Saree with a string of jasmine flowers adorning her hair, probably to identify herself with South Indian women. Though I was very young I was impressed with her charm and the way she took care of her father. This was my first introduction to Mrs. Gandhi. Later in life I had many opportunities to meet her.

Historic Merger of Pondicherry with Indian Union

One day when my parents had gone to the beach for their customary early morning walk, my father noticed French soldiers alighting from ships and entering the shores of Pondicherry. Realizing that it was a strategy by the French government to take the Indian army unawares, my father rushed to the office. After discussions with Mr. Kewalsingh, both of them briefed Nehruji about the situation. Soon army units were dispatched to overpower the French.

My father's fluency in Tamil coupled with his acumen for diplomacy enabled him to negotiate effectively with the Indians and the French. Finally, Pondicherry was merged with India as a Union Territory. It was a historical occasion for the country. Yet again it was all done without any bloodshed. The government took over the establishment with effect from the 1November 1954.

Mr. Pierre Landy, the representative of the Government of France as well as Chief Commissioner Designate, Mr. Kewalsingh, signed the instrument of transfer on behalf of the respective governments. The French flag was brought down and the Indian tricolor flag was hoisted in the presence of the Prime Minister of India, Shri Jawaharlal Nehru. My father was the second-in-command and was virtually a backbone to the establishment during those turbulent times. In appreciation of his achievement, Mr. Kewalsingh was awarded Padmashree, a high honor given by the Government of India. With all grace, he made it a point to tell Nehruji, "I could not have even lifted my pen without Wilfred Santosham."

Photographs of my father appeared in the newspapers. I felt very proud of him as well as my mother who had stood by him giving him rock-solid support through the days when he worked round the clock under life threatening situations. In 2013, my brother Mathuram brought me newspaper cuttings containing photographs and the article on the merger of Pondicherry with India, with my father featuring in them.

Pondicherry Re-visited Years Later

Recently I visited Pondicherry with my family and experienced very pleasant, nostalgic memories of all the good times we had there. The first house which we had stayed in had been converted into a restaurant. Our second house was next to Mr. Kewalsingh's house, the Consul General's office. This had been converted into the government office of the Pondicherry government.

(Mrs. Indira Gandhi's visit to Pondicherry, with my mother seen in the background)

(Historic transfer of Pondicherry from French to the Indian Union. Consul General for India, Mr. Kewalsingh receives the Document from Mr. Pierre Landy, the French Representative. My father, the Vice Consul, looks on)
CHAPTER 7

MY FIRST SEA VOYAGE (1956)

One day in Vidyodaya, I was summoned by Ms. Appasamy, the Head Mistress of the school, to her room. With butterflies in my stomach, I entered wondering what was in store for me. However, the sight of my parents took me by pleasant surprise. To top it, there was good news which I could not believe. My father told us that he had been posted to Washington, USA, and that my brothers and I could accompany them. I was overwhelmed with joy and could not believe that this was happening to me. Shortly our family travelled to Delhi, the headquarters of the Government of India and awaited the finalization of our t ravel arrangements. During this period my father taught all three of us to play Bridge. I was 14, my younger brother 12 and elder brother 16 years old. I have always been thankful to him for teaching us to play this intelligent and skillful game of Bridge at such a young age.

Our baggage was dispatched to New York. I was thrilled that we would be sailing together to New York. I had no apprehensions about our education as we would be continuing to study in English. But prior to departure from Delhi, we heard that my father was being transferred as Second Secretary, not to Washington, but to Germany. Our baggage was then diverted to Bonn, Germany. In Foreign Service, one learns to cope with the unexpected.

The Voyage

We traveled to Bombay and boarded the British liner, P&O Strathden. The Captain welcomed us on board the huge ship. Soon, from the deck we watched the shores of India receding. It would take us twelve days to reach our destination.

Once the ship steamed into mid-sea we were confined to our rooms because of sea sickness. The first few days were miserable, but thereafter it was sheer luxury and enjoyment. Our skill at playing Bridge came in very handy as my brother Viji and I would often fill in for shortage of adult players, much to the amazement of the Bridge playing crowd.

The food was out of the world. Every meal was an elaborate, lip smacking spread of international cuisine, the kind one sees in a 5-star hotel. For dinner everyone was formally dressed, and it was a treat to see some of the young women turn out in the latest fashion. Dresses were tailored to fit the body right up to the waist, then ballooning on to the knee. The Buffon hair style and stiletto shoes were in vogue.

My father's birthday happened to fall during our travel. The ever gracious chef consulted with my mother if she had any special requests and accordingly, presented a rich Persian pulav loaded with nuts and dried fruits, apart from the usual spread. To our pleasant surprise the Captain joined us at our table for dinner. A special cake was cut in honour of my father.

We always looked forward to the unlimited Ice cream that was served on the deck. The fresh fruit in our cabin was replaced every day. As a diplomat's daughter, I thus had the enviable opportunity of experiencing the luxury sixty years ago that people nowadays enjoy on fancy cruises With swimming pool, badminton court, film shows, library, etc. on the ship, there was never a dull moment.

After a few days we docked at Port Said in Egypt. We attended a Sunday Service on the ship itself. We had many interesting experiences here too. The ship was swarmed by vendors who came in little boats and sold assorted artifacts, jewelry and clothing. An interesting juggler brought a dozen chickens and performed some out-of-the-world tricks. We were taken to the city in small boats. We noticed that the population was basically Muslim and saw many quaint little interesting shops.

Suez Canal

The Captain informed us that soon our ship would be crossing the Suez Canal. In 1952 Colonel General Abdel Nasser took the Suez Canal into public ownership with all revenues accruing to the Egypt government; he had barred all kinds of interference by foreigners. In 1956, there was a political crisis. A combined Anglo-French-Israeli military coup was planned to overthrow Nasser. And it was during this time that we were passing through the Suez Canal. It was a unique experience. The Captain stood at the top of the deck and maneuvered the passage of the huge ship with dexterity, the Canal not being very deep in this region. The ship moved at a very slow speed and people standing on both sides of the Canal cheered, danced and waved to us. Once we passed the Canal all the passengers clapped and gave the Captain a standing ovation.

After twelve days we reached Marseilles in France. Though we had enjoyed gourmet food on board the ship, we were longing for some simple Indian food. As we were walking around, an Indian from Pondicherry spotted us and took us to his restaurant. He had lived in Pondicherry during the French rule and had married a French lady. We were treated to an awesome mutton ball curry. He also served us pure drinking water which had been unheard of till now, considering we bought Vichy water, an aerated water which would hardly quench our thirst. As we walked along the seashore, we saw many vendors selling fresh clams, oysters, etc.

Chapter 8

MUCH SPLENDOURED LIFE IN GERMANY

(With maid Maria at Bonn, Germany)

(Working on a copper tray in my school, Nikolous Kusanus at Bonn, Germany)

(With my Hungarian friend, Piroschka at Bonn, Germany)

Life in Bonn Begins

Bonn, a quaint city, has a long history of 2000 years. Situated on the banks of River Rhine, it is the birth place of the great musician, Beethoven. It became the Capital of West Germany in the year 1949. After the Berlin Wall was broken and West and East Germany were united on Oct 3rd 1990, Berlin emerged as the capital of a unified Germany. I am glad that we were in Bonn when it was the capital. We often enjoyed walking along the riverside. The Germans loved Indians as we found they enjoyed being photographed with us.

We boarded the train to Bonn, the Capital of West Germany then. As the train passed from France to Germany we could see a vast difference. My observation was that, while the French seemed generally casual and carefree, the Germans were regimental and sticklers for cleanliness and order. Ravages of World War II were still visible as we spotted bombed houses even near the apartment which we moved into. However, by the time we left Germany in 1958 many of them were rebuilt. This speaks highly of the German resilience and their hard work.

At Bonn station we were received by the Embassy officials who took us to a beautifully furnished apartment, as the house allotted to us would be ready only after six months. I remember lying in bed that night and wondering what life was going to be like. I soon realized that I would have to gear myself to accept German as the only language for communication as none of the Germans spoke English. Tears welled in my eyes, and I suddenly missed my friends and relatives back home in India. I cheered myself up by the fact that we were going to be together as a family. As I nestled under the feather comforter, which was unique in Germany, I fell asleep.

When it came to taking a decision about our schooling, I realized that my parents were not too keen in sending us to an American School. It was thus decided that my brothers would go to Paisley, Scotland where my father's uncle ran a hostel for boys. My heart sank and my dream of all of us staying together as a family was shattered. Arrangements were made for my brothers to fly to Scotland. Since Bonn did not have an international airport we drove to Dusseldorf Airport. My younger brother was only 12 and my elder brother, 16. It was with a heavy heart that we bid good bye to them. When we drove back, a dense, uneasy silence lingered in the car as none of us felt like speaking. I distinctly remember that that night I buried myself in the pillow and cried uncontrollably

"Do You Have a Gun?"

Once we were at a restaurant having dinner, and a German gentleman walked up to my father and asked if he had a gun with him. My father was quite perplexed. Indulging in light humour and paying a compliment to me, the German explained that my father would need it to protect me as many young German men loved dark skin, hair and eyes. That was flattering indeed and I felt proud of my dark complexion. I have never felt any complex about being dark, though in India beauty is associated with a fair skin.

My Schooling Begins in Germany

Soon reality struck me that I had to join a school in Germany. It was called Nikolas Kusanus International School. The biggest shock of my life was when I came to know that the medium of instruction was German despite it being an international school. The school was a co-educational one and was equipped with the best of facilities. Even way back in 1956 it was centrally heated. It had an indoor heated swimming pool of international standard, an extremely well-equipped gymnasium and a metal workshop. As a matter of fact I remember making a copper curio plate during my workshop classes. The school also had a central public address system. Though it was an international school, I was the only Asian in the class.

As I walked into the class on my first day, a boy came up and pulled a chair for me. This was the customary German courtesy extended to girls. Though the whole class gave me a warm welcome I felt like a fish out of water. The Class Master then introduced me to the class in German, and proceeded with his teaching session.

I did not understand a word. How was I going to learn Math, Physics, Science and History, all in German? After a few periods, a lady teacher came into the class room and motioned me to follow her. Being in a daze, I just followed her like a lamb does to the slaughter house. Soon I realized that I was in the Principal's room. He stood up as soon as he saw me. Once again I experienced German courtesy. He tried to make conversation with me, but I drew a blank. After a few minutes a lady walked in who, I gathered, was the English teacher.

With a heavy German accent, she explained to me in English that they would give me special coaching in German language for three months, after which I was to join the main stream. It would be done during the Gym and Swimming classes. Secretly I was happy and relieved that I could keep away from these physical activities, at least for some time! But the thought of having to study every subject in German overwhelmed me. When I came home I told my father with tears rolling down that I just would not be able to handle all this, and pleaded with him to send me to Scotland.

My father made it very clear that I could not go to Scotland since both he and my mother didn't want me to stay in a hostel there at that time. Moreover, the one that was run by my uncle was meant for boys only. Of course, both my uncle and aunt had offered to accommodate me in their house. But my father was quite firm, and told me a few things which are still crystal clear in my mind. He expressed that one has to face challenges in life and should not buckle under pressure. It was in situations like this that one's grit and character are tested. He proceeded to say that if I did not snap out of this attitude, my friends and cousins would move on in life while I would be left behind. Just as Albert Einstein had said, I realized that in the middle of difficulties lie opportunities, and that happiness is not absence of problems but the ability to deal with them.

In retrospect, I now realize how hard it must have been for my father to say what he did. My mother stood in the background with tear-filled eyes. Reality struck me at that moment and I swore to do my best. I think that the lessons I learnt that day have helped me all my life. And I am ever grateful to my father for infusing such incomparable values which have been my guiding force.

One such instance was when, later in life, at the age of 54, I took up a distance education program to do my MBA from Newport University, USA. At that time I was holding a responsible post as the Dean of an Academy on one hand and on the other, had a family to take care of. I strongly believe that the confidence infused in you at a young age can help you achieve difficult goals. As someone has said, "When you can't change the direction of the wind, adjust your sails," and that's exactly what I did.

Coming back to my school days, I surprised myself by mastering the German language within the stipulated time. It was interesting that I had to learn French through German. I was top of the class in English. I even started assisting my fellow students and began to command a lot of respect.

My parent's faith in God and the importance they gave to education really helped us in our lives. My elder brother, Dr.Viji Santosham, did his Doctorate in Aeronautical Engineering and worked for the Canadian Government, representing Canada on many important missions, including heading their trade delegations to India twice. My younger brother, Dr. Mathuram Santosham, is one of the eminent and very well-known pediatricians in USA, apart from playing diplomatic roles as he interacts with governments while dealing with WHO and Gates Foundation projects.

And as for me, later in my life, in 1990 when I was the Dean of Kothari Academy for Women in Madras, Prof Govindarajan, our Director, sent me to Conestoga College in Canada for three weeks. On my return, the President of the college wrote back to my Director saying that I had not only been an efficient representative of my Academy but was also a true ambassador of India. I was so overjoyed and wished my father had been alive to read the letter of appreciation. He had passed away just six months earlier. My parents sacrificed so much in their life to see that we did not miss out on our education. We enjoyed the fruits of it in many wonderful ways later in our lives.

Question & Answer Session on India in German

Now to go back to my school days in Germany, the Principal informed me one day that they were going to have a question and answer session. I would be questioned about India and was expected to answer them in German. Though this was a daunting challenge, I just could not believe how deftly I handled the situation. They wanted me to explain the game of cricket. One of them asked me whether Kashmir belonged to India or Pakistan. I realized that any answer I gave would trigger many more questions, and so I replied in German, "I am not a politician and would not like to answer this question." I was applauded and this boosted my confidence even more.

This set a platform for me to go all out to do well in my school. It was a very challenging time in my life. My father appointed a tutor, Helga, who helped me with the subjects. Even though she knew some English, she would converse and teach me only in German. Initially I found it very difficult. But then all Germans used that technique and it helped me pick up the language fast.

Trysts with German Language

Later in life, my husband's mentor Mr. John Prasad, who was running a very successful company in Madras, had ordered a sophisticated German machine. As the brochure was in German, he requested me to translate it into English, my husband being away in Germany at that time. With the help of a German Technical Dictionary I translated and typed the material manually using a typewriter, as computers were still not in use. He was very pleased with my work. Thus my German education stood in good stead many years later too.

After all these years, I am still able to converse in German. Recently in 2012, when we were in Chaska, USA, visiting our son Satish's family, we met a German family when we went for a walk. My husband, Pragal, had been to Germany for a Production Management program and was quite fluent in German. This family was excited that we both could converse in German. Even today, both of us tend to talk in German now and then.

Our grandchildren Kisha, Neha and Nesan, children of my daughter Preeth, have taken German as their third language. Recently, we were thrilled when Kisha, at the age of 14, won a German Scholarship and spent three enjoyable weeks near Hamburg in 2011. What a joy it was that our second granddaughter, Neha, also went to Germany on a similar scholarship a year later, followed by our grandson, Nesan, in 2015. Swarup, our son Satish's son, has taken up German and his daughter, Shruthi, has also decided to follow suite. It has been such a joy to be able to teach them German.

My Leading Role in a German Play

Once we were told that international students could participate in a German play the school was organizing. To my surprise I was picked to play the leading role. A big hall had been hired as it was a show open to the general public. Of all days, I had a terribly sore throat on the day of the performance and could not speak clearly. My friends informed the Master. Within a few minutes, a small glass of hot milk with honey was sent to the green room. Like a miracle, my throat cleared and I could play my role with aplomb. Our performance was greatly appreciated. My parents and some of our friends were present in the auditorium. My parents were happy and proud of my performance.

Tram Ride to School

Soon I started going to school by tram. I really enjoyed those rides. As soon as I got into the tram I would hear whispers of Ein Inderin is da ( An Indian girl is here) and many would get up to offer me their seat. I once had a memorable experience. I stepped into the tram and saw a blind man sitting in the section for the handicapped. As soon as he heard that an Indian girl was on the tram, he stood up to give me a seat. Of course I did not accept it, but I was deeply touched. There were other occasions when people who had lost a limb would get up to offer me a seat, just because I was an Indian girl.

I must confess that I had carried a bad impression of the Germans since I had heard a lot about Hitler and the atrocities he had committed. But during my stay there, I realized that they were good people but had followed a bad leader. One day as I got into the tram, I realized I had forgotten my student pass when the conductor walked up to me and asked for it. I was petrified and confessed the truth. I anticipated his angry response, but he looked at me with a smile and said, Nechstemahl vorgessen Sie nicht Fruehstuck zum Essen. (Next time, please don't forget to have your breakfast!)

Another practice which I found interesting in those days was youngsters , even teenage girls, courtesying to the elders by bending one leg and holding their dresses with their hands. I wonder whether this graceful practice of expressing respect for the elders still exists in this day and age.

Tragic Stories of World War II

While in Germany, I came across many tragic stories of World War II. Once I met a lady who narrated her life story. She had a very loving husband who went to war and never returned. Unable to get any news about him, she had tried to locate him for years in vain. Finally she married another man and moved on in life. Years later there was a knock on the door and to her utter shock, her first husband stood there. He had lost his memory during the war, and had started remembering things after many years while in a remote village hospital. Finally, he had managed to return home to his wife. Obviously, she had felt utterly miserable, which got compounded when he walked out of her life, having heard that she had remarried. She explained to me how it haunted her.

There were many young widows whose husbands had returned without eyesight and limbs. At that point of time, in the 50s, when we were there, there were more women than men. Life was tough for them. But within a few years I could see how they bounced back and became one of the leading nations of the world. I am all admiration for the Germans. Recently (in 2007) I read in the Indian newspapers that a gang of Germans had attacked a group of Indians. I just could not believe this story after having enjoyed so much adoration in Germany.

Meeting Herr Ausbach, the Liquor Baron

Mr. Namibia was the Indian Ambassador during our stay in Germany. Being well versed in German, he was very impressed with my German and often invited me to diplomatic parties where I acted as an interpreter for the Indian officials. Once we were invited to Rudesheim for a high profile party organized by the Deutsche Bundestag (German Government). Many diplomats, high government officials and business icons were present. Herr Erhardt, the German Government Minister, who later became the German Chancellor (President), was also present. I was thrilled when he complimented me on my fluency and authentic accent of the German language.

Even as I was in conversation with the minister, a gentleman walked up to me and introduced himself in German as Herr Ausbach. He also introduced his wife to me. It did not take me long to realize that he was a well-known and rich wine baron. Both he and his wife were impressed with my German and started conversing with me. Their wine is well known throughout the world. Incidentally, when we were transiting through Amsterdam in 2006, my husband picked up an Ausbach Brandy.

Herr Ausbach wanted to know what my life's ambition was. I told him I wanted to be a Dolmacherin (Interpreter) in the UN, that is, to translate English into German and vice versa. Both Herr and Frau Ausbach were thrilled and wanted to adopt me. In fact, they were prepared to educate me in Switzerland in an internationally well-known and prestigious institution, where I would be trained to be a high level interpreter, which would eventually lead me to the UN. My mother politely but firmly refused the offer. The Ausbachs were very persuasive as they even offered to fully fund my course and suggested that I could join them on completion. My mother, however, had the last say. I wonder what my life would have been like, if my parents had taken up Herr Ausbach's offer. My husband would jokingly say that if that had happened, we would probably not be married.

Famous Engineer G D Naidu's Visit

One day my father brought home a special guest. It was none other than the great Mr G D Naidu, a famous self-made scientist, engineer and business man. In fact, there is a museum in Bangalore with all his inventions. He had come to Germany on some mission and I was thrilled to meet him. My mother asked him what he would like to eat. He requested her to make some Uppuma (made out of cream of wheat), popularly considered to be a very humble and simple dish. I was struck by the simplicity of the man.

Mr Naidu regaled us with many interesting anecdotes. He once narrated an amazing story. One day as he was walking in the garden, he shot a banana plant with a shot gun and forgot about it. Months later to his surprise, he found that the same banana plant had branched and later, bore giant sized fruits.

Before Mr Naidu left, he took a group photograph with us.

Confirmed in Koeln, Germany

We attended an Anglican Church in Bonn. Since I had not been confirmed, my parents put forward a request to the Pastor. One of the church members, a British lady, kindly agreed to prepare me by teaching me the spiritual truths from the Bible. I would go to her house for the classes. She not only taught me but also gave me yummy goodies. The date was set for my Confirmation and it was to take place in a church in Koeln, many miles away from Bonn. The Bishop had flown down from England for this purpose. My mother had ordered a beautiful white net saree for me for the occasion, to be delivered through the Diplomatic Bag. To my surprise, not only was I the only Indian girl but also the only girl to be confirmed, the rest being twenty American soldiers. The American army was still based in Germany after World War II.

As soon as the ceremony was over and I came out, I was surrounded by the local German congregation. They were so thrilled to see an Indian girl in a saree! Each one tried to reach out their hand to congratulate me. I felt like a dignitary and a star that day. It was quite hard for us to tear ourselves away from the excited and affectionate crowd. We managed to be just in time for the party that my parents had organized at home to celebrate the occasion.

Maria

We had a wonderful maid named Maria. She would travel in a Volkswagen car and come once a week to clean our house. As soon as she walked in, she would clock the time and proceed with her work. She would not waste even a minute of her time. When she left the house it would be spick and span. In her, I saw a true blue German, well known for their efficiency and cleanliness.

Whenever we had diplomatic parties, Maria would help us. She taught me to cook, particularly to make an exotic Houdeave (starter). In its final presentation, it looked like a chess board as square pieces of bread topped with white cheese and black caviar (the egg of a special fish which was quite a delicacy) were arranged alternately. Maria believed that girls should learn to cook, sew and just about everything one needed to keep home efficiently. In those days a German Haus Frau (German Housewife) was well-known for keeping a good home. Maria taught me German traditions too. One of the things she warned me was, never to cut Kartoffel (potato) with a knife, which was the staple food of the Germans, as this could offend them.

One day she took my brothers and me to her apartment in her Volkswagen car. It was stunning and a feast for my eyes, for, everywhere in the spotless house one could see her creative and beautiful handwork, such as crocheted bedcovers, sofa covers and table cloths. She served us with delicious kuchen (cake). I loved the German dark brown pumpernickel bread spread with cream cheese. We were treated to many of her home baked delicacies.

Once we settled down she narrated to us the hardships she and her family had gone through during the World War, and how they had lost all their possessions. Maria had a maternal look but a stern countenance. So I was touched and surprised to see her tear-filled eyes when she remembered the wartime days. Just because of one man's mad dream to walk in knee deep Jewish blood, the lives of many Germans were destroyed leaving thousands lame, blind or otherwise maimed. As I mentioned before, in 1956 there were more women than men, and they had to work very hard to fend for themselves. The fear of war continued to engulf the nation for nearly a decade. We had German friends who would tell us they wished that their sons could marry foreigners, especially Indians, and get away from the country.

Nehruji's Meeting with Hitler

Once, while we were driving in a car, the driver pointed to a huge hotel on a mountain top and told us that it was there that Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru, Prime Minister of India, had met Hitler in the pre-Independence days, and had a long conversation with him. I am sure that Nehruji had pleaded with him to give up his obstinate stand and avert war. Way back in 1956, the Germans did not know much about the outside world. So, when many people asked us whether we came from the same great country that Gandhiji came from, that is , India, it made us feel proud of our nation. India had come to be known for gaining Independence, not through war but through non-violence, the first of its kind in the world.

Our First Car, a Benz

Eventually we moved to our allotted house, which was close to the Embassy. My father had ordered for a Benz car. My mother wanted it to be wine red but since it was not readily available, my father settled for midnight blue. The car was driven straight from the factory to our doorstep. It had been registered, and its number was CD444 (CD stood for Corp the Diplomat). This was the first car that my father owned, though in the earlier postings he had enjoyed official cars. The car looked majestic and, true to German standards, it was solid. That night we thanked God once again for blessing us with such a gift.

A Memorable Countryside Trip

We made a memorable road trip once. It was most enjoyable as we were travelling in our Benz car and one of our friends, Miss Biswas, the Information Attaché for India, accompanied us. We drove on the Autobahns (Highways) which Germany is famous for. We couldn't but help appreciate the farsightedness of Hitler, for it was his brainchild to solve the unemployment problem by hiring unemployed youth to lay these broad roads. During this trip, it was a pleasure staying in small village cottages and in the countryside. We enjoyed the freshly baked bread, eggs, milk, vegetables and fruits, and the hospitality of the farmers. In some of the places we saw men and women wearing traditional costumes. Wuppertal, a town stretched out along its own valley, had a unique suspension railway (Schwebebhan), an urban hanging train system. It was a unique experience, and we were awe struck that the Germans could think of such a technological marvel as early as in 1950.

Why cannot we think of it in our country, especially in Chennai where we have the Coovum canal going around the city? Definitely a suspension train over the canal would ease congestion and we could also better utilize the canal.

Koeln, an old Roman town, was the starting point for boat rides on River Rhine. We took a round trip which was scenic and beautiful. The majestic cathedral dome, which was bombed during the war, had not been fully reconstructed when we visited it.

Frankfurt is a major commercial and industrial center. The city was almost fully destroyed in 1944 and in 1957, even as it was being rebuilt, the devastations of the war were still visible. Frankfurt is the birth place of Goethe and I remember visiting his house. My parents begged me during our stay in Germany to continue with my piano classes, because the country was known as the birth place of western classical music. However, with all the pressures of my studies, I declined. Now at the age of 72, I really regret not doing it. With my grandchildren learning piano now, I could have helped them. In life when opportunities knock at your door it is important to grab them!

Our visit to Stuttgart was interesting. The television tower there was talked about a lot in those days in 1956. We went up to the top in an elevator, which carried us at a very high speed. We had lunch there in a rotating restaurant, even as we enjoyed a beautiful panoramic view of the city. The rest of our trip included places like München, Nuremburg, etc.

An Asparagus Village

I enjoyed our visit to the famous Heidelberg Castle. This historic castle was destroyed in 1622 but was rebuilt by King Ludwig. Close to Heidelberg there was a village called Schwetzingen. This village is known for its asparagus. We visited a restaurant which served only asparagus. As I walked in I was taken in by the asparagus - themed décor. We ordered asparagus soup, asparagus chicken, asparagus bake, baked fish with asparagus and even asparagus ice-cream. It took quite some time for our order to be served. When we enquired about the delay, we were told that the asparagus would be picked from the field only when the order was placed. The waitress took us to a window from where we could see acres and acres of asparagus fields, with the pickers doing their job. I have never tasted such delicious and varied asparagus in one restaurant as I did here. It was really worth the wait!

Visit to Siemens

My father was officially invited to visit Siemens, one of the famous multinational companies. We were welcomed by the CEO of the company who took us around the huge factory personally and explained everything to us in German, with me being the interpreter to my parents. He talked a great deal about standardization which Germans call DIN specification. That day I understood about German perfection in anything they produce. As they say, even when the Germans sneeze they all do it in a particular way. And when they watch a game of soccer the whole crowd reacts in one particular way! Everything has to be structured. Perhaps it is this quality-consciousness that has kept Germany above other countries in maintaining high standards and durability of products. My mother and I were gifted with manicure and pedicure sets which have lasted in perfect condition until today.

German Fashion

One of the observations that I made was that the German sense of fashion was rather drab at that point of time. Having suffered heavily during the world war, it probably reflected the mood of the nation. Later, influenced by France and Italy, Germany emerged as one of the leading fashion centers in the world. Designers like Hugo Boss, Michalski, Jill Sanders and Willy Boegner are now well known for their innovation in the international fashion world. This again reflects the resilience of the German people.

My Portrait Clad in a Half Saree

At a diplomatic party, a lady greeted my mother and me and started talking in German. My mother drew a blank. It did not take me long to understand that she was one of the famous contemporary artists, and was keen to paint a full portrait of me. After I interpreted her request, my mother gladly agreed. The lady requested that I wear a half saree, which I had worn on that day, as she found it novel and unique. She took twenty days to complete my portrait, which she did in our house. It was tiring to remain in a standing posture for hours every day. But I was very proud that she had chosen me. A few months later after we had left for India, one of our neighbors, Mrs. Boult Wood wrote to say that her journalist son had visited the Frankfurt Museum and had seen my portrait displayed in the ethnic section. It is unfortunate that I never had the opportunity to see it in the Museum. I often wonder whether the portrait is still there.

The Lamp Dance

The Indo-German Cultural Institute organized a program, and we the young girls of the Embassy and a few other Indians put up a Diya (lamp) dance. All of us were dressed in ethnic Indian costumes representing different States of India. The dance ended with the formation of India, with Mother India forming the focal point. We were able to project 'Unity in Diversity' as the uniqueness of India. It was very much appreciated by the audience and was the show stopper of the evening.

Christmas in Germany

Weinachten (Christmas) in Germany was memorable. One day, Helga, my German tutor, came with a hanging card. It had many windows, which were covered with flaps, and contained pictures highlighting the significant features of Christmas. You opened a window pertaining to a particular day and learnt its significance through the pictures that the window displayed. For Germans, Christmas started from November 6, known as St Nikolas day. They also had Advents Kranz (advent wreath) hanging with ribbons and four white candles on them. Each candle was lit during a week for four weeks prior to Christmas. Candles and decorations would be in white while the Christmas trees would be green. So wherever you went you would see green and white. It was magnificent! This is in contrast to the way we celebrate Christmas in India, very colorfully, probably due to British influence.

On 23 December, when I woke up in the morning and looked out of the window, I found an expanse of white everywhere. Being my first experience of snow, it looked spectacular. My window was bordered with snow and lacy flakes of snow were still dropping. I ran out of the house to feel the snowflakes. I remembered my Vidyodaya Girls High School Headmistress, Miss Appasamy, explaining the delicate lacy nature of snow.

Christmas Eve in Germany was only for the family and they would gather together to have dinner and exchange gifts. All shops and restaurants would remain closed till 26 December. I remember walking around the neighborhood. From every home you could hear Christmas carols. One could feel some holiness in the air. Stille Nacht Heilige Nacht (Silent Night, Holy Night) and O Tannen Baum (O Christmas Tree) were two Christmas carols I loved listening to in German. Most homes served Eggnog. After many years when I met Miss Appasamy in Madras, she requested me, as an alumnus of the school, to write an article about Christmas in Germany.

Sitar Maestro Ravi Shankar

Once the internationally famous sitar maestro, Ravi Shankar, was performing in a posh hotel in Dusseldorf. Most of the embassy members drove down to attend his concert. It was a private program to which many diplomats and German government officials were invited. Though my knowledge of Hindustani classical music was limited, I thoroughly enjoyed the concert. After the recital, Panditji joined us for dinner and I had the honor of meeting him and conversing with him.

Circus on Ice

Another exhilarating experience I had was when we drove to Frankfurt to see the Circus on Ice performed by an internationally known Russian troupe. I felt I was in a fairy land as my eyes feasted on the brightly lit arena with the humungous and sparkling ice skating rink in the center. It was breathtaking as the elephants, horses and other animals performed their numbers with skates on. Jumping down from a great height, the trapeze artistes skated and danced as gracefully as they did when they went into big, beautiful formations while skating . The buffoons too excelled in their acts. As a finale a lovely couple, the girl dressed in red and the man in a black tuxedo, waltzed to the tune of the Blue Danube. They kept the audience spellbound as they glided on the ice as smoothly and effortlessly as the flowing water of a river. As the music came to an end the man knelt down and presented the girl with a bouquet of red roses. When it was announced that this lovely couple, who had stolen our hearts, were engaged to be married, the audience gave them a standing ovation. For me, the show was an unforgettable experience in my life.

Oktoberfest

One of the festivals I enjoyed in Germany was, Oktoberfest. During this period the citizens of the city chose a King and a Queen, who took over the City Hall from the Mayor. The King and Queen would be taken in a procession in a horse-driven carriage with drum majorettes, bands, tricksters and performers going before them. It used to be a time of great festivities and most people would get fully drunk on the free flowing beer. Everyone would let the hair down and enjoy the occasion. For me it was very interesting, especially because I watched the festivities with my German friends from a hotel balcony, especially organized for the diplomats by the German government.

Visit to a Hungarian Restaurant

There was an interesting restaurant to which we always took our friends and relatives visiting us from abroad. It was a well-known Hungarian restaurant. Waiters dressed in traditional costumes would take the order and food would be cooked right in our presence. . Their Hungarian goulash was really special. After the ceremonious cooking was done, a group of musicians would come and play the Hungarian Rhapsody while we enjoyed our gourmet food.

My Friends in Germany

Just when I was settling down to life in Germany, we heard that my father was being transferred to Ceylon (Sri Lanka). I cannot close my narration about my stay in Germany without mentioning my friends, Helga Rehder (German), Barbara (German) and Piroschka (Hungarian) whose family had fled to Germany after World War II. We used to have a lot of fun together, like visiting exhibitions, movies and many interesting places. They made my stay in Germany very special indeed. Just before we left, my friends were interested in viewing an English movie with me. We decided on the movie "Confession". Since they were not very fluent in English, I had to continuously translate it for them. They appreciated it very much.

My birthday in Germany in the year 1958 was made memorable by my friends. They had organised a surprise party for me. During this period, Elvis Presley, the pop singer, was the heart throb of the youngsters. It was interesting that though we all came from different parts of the world with varied cultural backgrounds, we enjoyed the same kind of pop music. The death of a young actor, James Dean, in a car accident was the talk of our school for many days.

Aufwiedershen Deutschland (Goodbye Germany)

Being a diplomat's daughter had its own ups and downs. I was fortunate to live in Germany during the post-World War period. I learnt much about their culture, their emotional state as well as their determination to overcome challenges and difficulties. Such an experience in one's life is indeed a rare blessing for which I thank God and my parents.

The downside was that I faced separation from my brothers, had to study everything from scratch in German and adapt myself to the new environment. In the process, however, I made some excellent new friends. The bitterness I had about Germans from what I had heard about the war and Hitler's atrocities totally changed after living in Germany and with Germans. I learned a great deal about their rich culture and values that have helped me gain a new positive perspective. I have not visited Germany again. Many times when I have transited through Frankfurt airport, fond memories of my stay have crossed my mind.

(Hanging train in Germany)

(Conversing with wine baron Herr Ausbach and Frau Ausbach at an Indo-German party at Rhuedesheim, Germany)

( With my friend Shobha on a pleasure trip in Germany)

Confirmation Certificate. Confirmed in Koeln, Germany. The only girl and the only Indian to be confirmed along with 20 American soldiers.

(Confirmation Certificate. Confirmed in Koeln,Germany. The only girl and the only Indian to be confirmed along with 20 American soldiers.)

Chapter 9

ACROSS EUROPE BY TRAIN, CEYLON-BOUND BY SEA

Across Europe by Train

My father had planned a trip for all of us to visit London, Scotland and some countries in Europe, before we proceeded to Ceylon after a short holiday in Madras. However, we had to cut short our tour as my paternal grandmother passed away. Though the funeral took place in our absence, my father wanted to rush back home. We had to board the ship in Genova, Italy, and prior to that we visited a few places in Europe. The train travel was very enjoyable as it meandered through snow-capped mountains to Zurich. The scenery was breathtaking. I enjoyed the ambience of the dining car, and even more, the delicious schnitzel (steak), with freshly baked bread, crispy salad and a platter of tarts to choose from. After a few days of sightseeing we traveled to Rome.

At the railway station in Rome, a seemingly friendly taxi driver offered to take us to our hotel. As he drove, he showed us some of the important places in the city. We ended up paying him a sizable fare but were so taken in by his 'good nature and willingness' that we even felt grateful to him. The next morning as my father was sipping his bed coffee, he looked out of his window. To his shock, he saw the railway station right across the road. We had been taken for a royal ride! Later, we came to know that there were lots of such people in Italy, worse than in India. Whenever people tell me that they are going to visit Italy, I always warn them.

However, this experience did not dampen our enthusiasm and interest in enjoying the beautiful architecture as also the warmth of the people we came across. Both the women and men were good looking, with some dressed in traditional attire. Our visit to The Vatican and St Peter's Church was interesting, and the blessings received from the Pope were very special. I loved the Colosseum and it was very exciting to see this historic place. In the museum there were many famous sculptures and paintings, which reflected their rich culture and history. I have seen many churches in the world but nothing compares with the Milan Church in Italy. Though exceptional in its beauty and history, it is not as well-known as some of the other churches.

India-bound Aboard the Ship Victoria

We travelled to Genova to board the ship, Victoria, for our voyage to India. We didn't get bored as one of the officials of the Embassy, Mr. Mani, and his wife travelled with us. We stood on the deck of the ship and saw our Mercedes Benz car being loaded by a huge crane. As the ship left the shores, I felt sad, remembering my friends and the life that we had enjoyed and grown to love. But then there was this sense of excitement that we would be closer home. Later, it also dawned on me that my brothers would be continuing their studies in Scotland while I would be moving into a new school in Colombo. Once again my heart was filled with the fear of the future and the unknown.

The nearly two weeks of the voyage was very enjoyable. We were treated to Italian cuisine: every type of pasta, spaghetti and cheese; mouth-watering Italian salads with Italian dressing; freshly baked varieties of Italian bread. All these were served generously day after day, meal after meal. l was 16 years old at that time and it was very interesting for me to watch young women specially Italian girls dressed in the latest fashion. At that time bouffant hairstyles and dresses that ballooned above the knees were in fashion. Everyone turned out formally dressed for dinner. There would be live music and dance, and watching some real professional dancers on the floor was a treat indeed.

Caught in a Typhoon

One day we were all having dinner when suddenly the ship was caught in a typhoon. It rocked violently due to which all the cutlery and crockery kept tumbling down. We had to hold on tightly to the tables to avoid falling. One pregnant lady lost her balance and fell on the ground with a thud. The stewards rushed her to the clinic in the ship. Everyone was filled with fear and panic, with screams piercing the darkness. We could see that the officers had tied thick ropes on the deck for people to hold on to and get indoors.

The Captain announced that the situation might prolong and that we should, with the help of the ropes, get back to our rooms and stay calm. Earlier we had been given instructions by him about how to get into emergency life boats. He added that if the need arose, whistles would be blown when all passengers would be required to reach the deck in order to get into the life boats from their allotted locations. I must say that it was terrifying. I can imagine the kind of fear and hysteria that must have engulfed the passengers of the ship Titanic which was hit by an iceberg and sank in the year 1913.

Being in the cabin turned out to be even scarier because, when the ship tilted to one side, you could actually see the raging waters at perilously close quarters through the window. For hours we were scared stiff. Finally when the Captain announced that we had crossed the worst region of the typhoon, we all went to bed.

The next morning we went on to the deck and could not believe our eyes. The sea looked beautifully calm and blue, and not very far away, we could see some huge rocks jutting out of the sea. We saw all sorts of small and big fishes jumping out of the water. Some of them seemed to do a dance before they dived back into the water. It was unbelievable that we had experienced the utter roughness and wrath of the sea just a few hours earlier. I have heard about the calm before the storm, but never heard about such calm after the storm. Filled with awe and fear, everyone on board discussed the possible repercussions, had our ship hit those rocks. We all thanked God for saving us from a huge calamity. We continued to be under shock for a day, but soon, the Captain and the crew ensured that we were safe and back to normal. Special meals were prepared. There was lively music and dancing. Everyone looked relaxed and happy, eventually.

Winners on Board

A few days later it was announced that there would be a Fancy Dress competition. Both my mother and Mrs. Mani wanted me to participate. I was hesitant but gave in to their wish. Many suggestions were given for the type of costume I could wear. Finally we settled on that of a South Indian flower seller. We managed to get a basket from the kitchen staff and filled it up with artificial flowers. I was quite nervous as there were many participants and each one looked confident. When my turn came I walked around shouting "Ladies and Gentlemen, Flowers for Sale, Flowers for Sale". I said it in Tamil and repeated it in English and everyone applauded.

I could not believe when the announcement was made that I had won the first prize. I received the prize (an Italian Doll with a sash on which was written, Lloyd Trestino Victoria, the name of the Liner) from the Captain of the ship. I got a standing ovation and many passengers came forward to congratulate me. I felt like a celebrity that day! As for the prize, it was special and I treasured it for years.

My father was quite a good table tennis player. A Swiss champion was also on board, beating all the players. He was totally shocked when my father beat him hollow. I felt proud of my father. In his young age, my father did not have the opportunity to formally learn any sport because of his family circumstances. Still, he turned out to be a good tennis player too.

Memorable Visit to Pompeii (Italy)

When our ship docked in the Bay of Naples, Italy, we were very excited to see the ruins of Pompeii. Once we arrived at the ancient and historical site, we were transported back in history. Pompeii was a city situated five miles from Mount Vesuvius. This mountain was a volcano, hundreds of thousands of years old, which had erupted more than fifty times. The most famous eruption took place in the year 79 AD during the time of the Roman Emperor, Nero. The volcano buried the ancient city of Pompeii under a thick carpet of volcanic ash that poured onto the land shrouding it in darkness. The city was abandoned for years and thousands of people died. After the plenary eruption, the heated gas had melted the rock, and flowed down the mountain swallowing everyone and everything. In 1748, a group of explorers rediscovered the site. They were surprised to find that under the debris and dust, the city of Pompeii had remained intact. Loaves of bread and even jars of preserved fruit were found. And now, in 1958, it was unbelievable that nearly 200 years later, we were able to see elegant houses and villas, small shops, artifacts, buildings and skeletons belonging to the ancient times. Their sophisticated drainage system had also been well preserved. It was a great moment in my life.

Soon our voyage came to an end, and we had to bid good bye to many with whom we had made good friends. Since we did not have facilities like E-mail those days and with telephone calls being very expensive, we could not keep in touch with them. When we reached Madras, we met our dear ones. There was a shadow of sadness as we talked about my beloved grandmother's life and the legacy she had left behind. After a short sojourn in Madras, we left for Colombo (Ceylon).

Chapter 10

CEYLON, THE EMERALD ISLAND

Ceylon, known as The Emerald Island, looked beautiful. This little island has a deep rooted history. Between the 4th and the 11th centuries , a city called Anuradhapura was the capital. There were an unbelievable number of monasteries here.

For a couple of days, we were put up in Golf Ace Hotel which was just opposite the beach with a beautiful view of the sea. The distinctive feature of Colombo beach was that there was a huge green lawn. Soon we moved to our beautifully furnished house which had many rooms and even a dance floor. The dining table could seat 12 people. We had a cook , Vellayudam, from Kerala, India and another domestic help. Shankar was an elderly, kind-hearted Indian who drove our Benz car around with immense pride. As soon as we arrived, we attended many welcome diplomatic parties.

Soma, a Sinhalese, was my personal nanny who took care of me and pampered me a lot. She also slept in my room. She was a very honest person. I would leave all my gold jewelry lying around. She would see to it that she put them away safely and would chide me fondly for being careless. She wore her saree in the typical Sinhalese way and had a smile all the time. We both got along very well.

My Schooling in Ceylon

It was time for me to join a school in Ceylon. Ladies College, which was actually one of the leading schools, was at walking distance from our house. Our driver Shankar would however insist on dropping and picking me up to and from school. We met the Principal, Miss Simeon and in our very first meeting, she understood my predicament. I was entering the 9th Standard and had to take Tamil as my second language. The following year, I would have to appear for the G.E. O-Level Exam, equivalent to the Indian 10th Standard. Having studied all subjects in German till now, everything in class sounded like Greek and Latin to me. Even English seemed hard to follow. I found it really hard to keep up with the class.

Being a diplomat, my father often had to entertain dignitaries at home, which was quite a distraction for me. But I knew I had to do my best and plunged seriously into my studies. My parents organized private tuition for Mathematics and Tamil. I remember working extremely hard to catch up with the rest of the class. My parents would often insist on me taking breaks from studies to relax, and would take me out for a drive to the beach or to the movies. I never thought I would pass my 10th Standard exams. But to my pleasant surprise I managed to get through. I slowly settled down in my new school and entered the 11th Standard.

While I was struggling to catch up with German in Germany, my parents wished that I don't alienate myself from my roots. My father would get me Tamil magazines through the Diplomatic Bag. At that time I resented it and did not realize how useful such exposure to Tamil would be later in my life. In Ceylon, I had to study Tamil as a second language in order to complete my schooling.

Learning Tamil came in good stead in my later days too. Now, as a grandmother, I am able to teach the language to my grandchildren who grew up in USA. When I became the Dean of Kothari Academy for Women, the government would depute women entrepreneurs for a month-long special skills training program each year. I was happy that I could not only give welcome speeches but interact with these women in Tamil. I think of my parents with a sense of gratitude for their farsightedness.

Diplomatic Parties

In Ceylon I often attended diplomatic parties with my parents. The High Commissioner Mr.Gundevia's daughter, Rapti, as well as Prime Minister Bandaranayke's daughters, Sunita and Chandrika, became my good friends. Little did I know then that Chandrika would later become one of the most powerful Presidents of Sri Lanka! The High Commissioner would host many functions at his residence. I had the opportunity to meet Shri Rajendra Prasad, the first President of independent India. I was also greatly honored to meet Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru, the Prime Minister of India when he visited Ceylon. The Indo-China War was being fought and it was from Ceylon that he made the famous statement "I have asked our jawans ( soldiers) to chase the Chinese away from our borders." But to the utter dismay of the Indians, we were badly defeated in that war, and Panditji was severely criticized for his rash statement. Known for his diplomacy otherwise, Panditji suffered a huge embarrassment.

Living on the Edge

One of the reasons my father was posted to Ceylon was his knowledge of the Tamil language. In 1956, a serious rift had started emerging between the Ceylon Tamils and the local Sinhalese. In 1959-61 during my father's posting, it became more intense. To add to the complications, there were two sets of Tamils, the Ceylon Tamils and the Indian Tamils. My father had to involve himself deeply as he had to deal with the Ceylonese government on the sensitive issues of the Indian Tamils. One day, Mr. Iyengar, a senior official from the Indian Embassy, informed my mother that there had been serious threats to my father's life and the Indian government had requested the Government of Ceylon to provide protection to our family. We were terribly worried for my father while my mother was concerned about my safety. Some diplomats' family members, especially girls, were being abducted to negotiate political issues.

During this time one of the Indian diplomats posted in Vancouver, Canada, was shot while playing tennis. This incident shook the diplomatic circles. My father was getting threatening phone calls from a man who swore that he would meet with the same fate as the Indian diplomat in Canada. In this particular case, my father had stalled the issue of passport to a certain person, suspecting his involvement in terrorist activities. This had aroused the man's anger. The tension continued for months until the Government of Ceylon took severe action against him.

In spite of tensions and many distractions, I was able to adjust to the new school. A big play based on the epic, Ramayana, was planned and I took on the role of Lord Rama. The highlight of the play was a depiction of the coronation ceremony of Lord Rama.

Meeting Famous People

While in Ceylon I had the opportunity of meeting many interesting personalities. One of them was Shakuntala Devi, the Mathematics Wizard from India. Kamala Laxman, one of the greatest exponents of Bharathanatyam, and her sister, Radha, also used to visit Colombo and I would take them shopping and to the beach often. Padmini and Ragini, the famous Travancore Sisters (film actresses and classical dancers), would stay with one of our best friends, Sivaji Anna and Indrakka, whenever they were in Ceylon for a performance. This gave me an opportunity to get to know them well. I realized that though they were famous movie stars and top exponents of Bharathanatyam, they were simple girls who enjoyed and longed for genuine love and friendship. We would go shopping or to the beach and never missed having Fountain House ice-cream, which was Padmini's favorite.

Glitter and Glamour

One day we received an invitation for the Miss Ceylon contest. Along with my parents I was also invited. As a young girl of 16, needless to say, I was very excited and went with stars in my eyes. We were seated in a special enclosure for diplomats. With a bevy of beautiful women walking the ramp, the whole evening was filled with glamour and glitter. Miss Ceylon was selected and proceeded to represent her country in the Miss Universe contest that year.

Horse races were very big events in Colombo, the capital of Ceylon. During these events, the fashion industry played a very big role. Designer sarees, dresses and matching accessories like gloves, umbrellas and shoes would be on display as glamorous ladies flaunted them. One could say that they were emulating the Ascot Race of England. There would be wide newspaper and magazine coverage with photographs of these women.

Myriad Hues of Ceylon

Mt Lavonia was a beach resort which was south of Colombo and at a drive-able distance. The manager in charge was an Englishman. He and his wife would often invite us for lunch at this resort. Built during the British rule, the resort had originally been Lord Mountbatten's bungalow. Extraordinary cuisine was served here and our visits were always very relaxing and enjoyable.

Once, our Sinhalese friends drove us to the Kathirkamam Temple complex. It was a huge complex and was special as it housed both Hindu and Buddhist temples. We witnessed a ritual that was a massive and shocking fire walk. Many women walked bare feet on burning and blistering hot coals as penance, and miraculously come out unscathed.

Among the other places we visited, one was the Royal Botanical Garden. It is one of the best I have visited in my life. Around 300 varieties of orchids grew here and the sight was breathtaking. The Cannon ball fruit tree has fruits looking like cannon balls, and it was presented by King George V and Queen Mary to the Ceylonese.

It was the month of August in the year 1960 and we were invited to view the Perehera Festival, a Buddhist Festival of the Tooth held in the town of Candy. The government had arranged for the diplomats' families to watch the grandeur from a hotel balcony. Legend says that after Buddha was cremated in 15th century BC in India, one of the followers took out a tooth of Buddha from the pyre. This Holy Tooth was smuggled from India to Sri Lanka for King Megavanna of Ceylon by a person disguised as a Brahmin priest. The King had the Tooth paraded through the city every year for the subjects to see and revere. For more than 400 years, the city's Dalada Maligwa, the Temple of the Tooth Relic, had housed the revered Tooth.

The festival procession was colorful and spectacular. On the day of the festival, the Tooth of Buddha was kept in a replica of a gold casket and carried in a procession by a tusker decorated in all finery. This tusker was followed by around 50 elephants, acrobats, fire dancers, classical dancers, dignitaries and monks. As we were watching this spectacle, we saw a man holding a fireball accidentally drop it and one of the elephants stamping it. The elephant went amok, causing all the other elephants to lose their cool and run helter- shelter, resulting in a massive stampede with many people being trampled and crushed by the terrified elephants. Shops were destroyed and many people who were watching from the bank of a lake were thrown into the water. Many lost their lives and hundreds were injured. We were safely seated in the hotel balcony but the whole scene shook us to the bone.

Within minutes, the color, grandeur and festivities gave way to a gory and tragic scene filled with bodies,... dead, mutilated and wounded. We heard later that in the history of this festival, such a ghastly accident had never taken place. After this event, I have always been on my guard when I see a group of elephants. We returned from Candy with a heavy heart. It took us months to get over it.

Our other visits to Candy as well as to the Neuralia Estates always brought back lovely memories, more so because of the beautiful tea estates. I loved the aroma of tea and we always had the privilege of enjoying premium tea when we visited the estates.

Off to the Coral Reefs

One of our most memorable trips was to Bentota, a beach resort. A glass-bottomed motor boat was organized for us to see the coral reefs. As we went far into the sea, I was awe-struck to see the multitudes of colored fish and sea-anemones; it was a riot of colors! I requested one of the boatmen to pull out a coral for me. To my utter surprise, a bright colored coral lost its entire color the moment it was pulled out of water. All the same, I have treasured this coral for many years, as a memento of the ocean's bounty.

Coming back to our boat ride, we were in for a great shock when our boat hit a rock. It not only caused damage to the boat but the boat itself broke down, leaving us stranded in the middle of the sea. Needless to say, we panicked. Our boatman kept signaling to a passing boatman, and a speed boat arrived after nearly half an hour to take us back to the shore. It so happened that after nearly ten years I met a Ceylonese couple in the US who mentioned that they had heard about a misadventure. It was probably what we had faced. It seems that it made sensational news at that time and that it took years for them to replace the glass-bottomed boat.

Sri Lanka (Ceylon) Re-visited in 2012

In 2012, I celebrated my 70th birthday on 8 May. My husband and children decided to organize a trip to Sri Lanka, which had been my long cherished dream. As we boarded the plane at Bangalore, my heart was filled with expectation and anticipation. Walking down memory lane with my husband, children and grandchildren was really very special. As the plane touched down at Colombo Airport, I remembered landing at the same airport with my parents nearly fifty-four years ago. Since a tourist agent had organized our visit, a representative met us at the airport with temple flower garlands. We were driven to the hotel, and I was surprised to see that there were hardly any changes. When my father was posted to Ceylon, the country was economically strong but due to internal strife over the years, we could see that their economy had plummeted.

We were put up in a beautiful hotel facing the ocean. I enjoyed the food comprising of string hoppers, fish sambal and a variety of sea food, and of course, my favorite passion fruit juice which I had not had for more than fifty years!

My greatest excitement came when I visited my old school, Ladies College. I was extremely surprised that after fifty years, the school uniform comprising a white dress and a white belt with a red buckle had remained the same. I was proud to hear that it continued to be the best school in Colombo. I walked around the school meeting students and interacting with them. I peeped into the hall where I had acted as Lord Rama. I saw a huge framed picture of Miss Simeon, the Headmistress, who had encouraged me so much in my studies while I had struggled hard to catch up with the class. I also visited one of my classrooms. I was filled with a deep nostalgia all through my walk in the school premises.

Around the corner was the house where we had lived for three memorable years. Unfortunately it had been brought down and some other buildings had come up. Through the internet I had found that my dear friend, Rapti, and her husband were living close to Ladies College. But I could not get her exact address and due to lack of time I could not trace her house. That remains my very big regret.

A great moment of joy came as we checked into Mt Lavonia Hotel. In my earlier Ceylon days, I remember visiting this hotel with my parents at least once a month. Now after more than fifty years not much had changed, except that they had added a new wing. It was memorable because the rooms we got this time were in the old wing which I was familiar with. I enjoyed the seashore and of course, the delicious gourmet food. I felt nostalgic as the whole family celebrated our son Satish and Shobana's 15th wedding anniversary on the shores of Sri Lanka in the historic Mt Lavonia Hotel.

The next day we drove to Bentota. The children loved the water sports. We also met Malinga's brother, the famous Sri Lankan cricketer's brother. Unfortunately we could not go on the glass-bottomed boat trip as it had been suspended that day due to rough seas.

A Bungalow Bought in Kodaikanal

Going back to my earlier days as a diplomat's daughter, one day there was a call from Eddie Uncle, my father's brother, a well-known criminal lawyer in Madurai. He informed my parents of a property that was for sale in Kodaikanal in India. My parents made a trip to India to see the property, while I stayed back in Ceylon with all the domestic help. One of our close friends was kind enough to stay with me. My parents loved the property because it was the kind of house they had dreamt of staying in during their post-retirement years. As my mother walked up the driveway, she found a cross lying on the ground which she picked up and felt extremely happy. They decided to the buy that property.

Some months later I made a trip to Kodaikanal with my parents and I could not believe my eyes. The house was perched on a hill and the name of the house was Hill View. The house was beautiful and the view looked like a picture post card. The property had acres and acres of land with fir trees, eucalyptus trees, fruit trees like plums, apples, etc. A wide variety of flowers were seen growing in abundance. The house was well furnished with rosewood furniture.

Unfortunately due to my mother's early death, my father sold the house for a song. We heard that this property has been bought by an entrepreneur who grows orchids and other flowers for the international market. Often, I wish we had retained the property within the family. It would have been a wonderful holiday home, especially for our grandchildren. We heard that the daughter of President Giri, a former President of India, was growing rare orchids there and exporting them. I was approached for information about the house because efforts were being made to declare it as a heritage property, since it was designed by a Portuguese architect several years ago.

Meeting Chancellor Erhardt of Germany in Ceylon

Again, going back to our Ceylon days, Governor General Oliver Gunetileke was hosting a party in honor of a visiting dignitary, Chancellor Erhardt of Germany. When I had met him in Germany he was a Federal Minister. He had since then become the Chancellor of Germany, which is equivalent to the President in USA. Once again I was able to act as an interpreter for our Indian officials. Chancellor Erhardt was thrilled to meet us in Ceylon.

Political Turmoil in Ceylon

In those days, the Prime Minister of Ceylon, Solomon Bandaranayake, was getting unpopular among the Buddhist monks. These monks had been pressurizing him to come out with a ten-point program which would benefit the Buddhists and not the other communities. Not having given in to their demands, he was assassinated at his residence by a Buddhist monk, Somarama Theoro. The whole nation was shocked and the diplomatic fraternity was stunned. The PM's wife and children were inconsolable. Within a short period of time, his wife, Mrs. Bandaranayke, was elected Prime Minister of Ceylon. She came to be known as the Weeping Widow.

My Father's Shrewd Move

During this political turmoil, something interesting happened. Mr. Sundaram, a very well-known palmist (one who reads a person's life by looking at his palm) from India, visited our home. While conversing, he told my father that he had been to see Prime Minister Solomon Bandaranayke and had warned him to be very careful. He had felt that within a few days, the Prime Minister would be shot and Dahanayake would come to power. True to his prediction, the Prime Minister was shot within a few days, and Dahanayake, who was an insignificant person in the party, came to power forming the care-taker government that was to last till the next general elections. We were startled that his predictions had been spot on.

Since Mr. Sundaram's prediction had come true, my father feared the political ramifications of his statements, should he make any, either to individuals or to the press. So he made arrangements for him to leave the country immediately. Everyone in the Embassy was happy that my father had taken that shrewd decision. As a diplomat's daughter, you learn a lot about politics, diplomacy and the necessity to take shrewd decisions at crucial times.

The Indian Ambassador, Mr. Gundevia, was moving with family as he was to take up another assignment. I was really sad because their daughter, Rapti, who was my friend, would be leaving. Rapti had met a young Sinhalese polo player, Ajit, and became romantically involved with him. It was a very hard decision for her to leave. Her parents did not give her the consent to marry him, and so she had no other option but to go with them. After a couple of years I received her wedding photograph with a letter. She had gone back to Ceylon to marry Ajit. I could read between the lines of her letter that she was having a hard time, because Ceylon was going through difficult days due to ethnic riots and a plummeting economy. Domestic help was not available and household commodities were in short supply. I felt very sorry for her, having known that she had been brought up in the lap of luxury. For a few years we did keep in touch but that tapered off over time. I often wondered how she was and yearned to meet her again.

New Ambassador from Royal Family

Soon, the new ambassador, Mr. Kapoor, arrived with his family. Mrs. Kapoor was from the royal family in Kashmir. As a matter of fact , when I got married in 1965, Mrs. Kapoor had sent me through the Rani of Chettinad ,a beautiful ring embedded with real rubies and pearls from her heirloom, which I passed on to my daughter, Preeth.

Family and Friends' Visit

One day we heard that Asha, another good friend of mine, had got married. The newlyweds came to Colombo for their honeymoon and stayed with us for a couple of days. Asha was the daughter of Mr. Pradhan, a junior officer who worked in my father's office in Germany. She did her medical studies in London, where she had met her Prince Charming. Her marriage took place in Rajasthan which unfortunately we could not attend. They made a handsome couple. I was awe struck on seeing their wedding photographs. It surely looked a princely wedding. Both seemed to be very happy and in love with each other. To my surprise, however, a few years later I heard that they had parted ways.

My uncle, Dr. Santosham and his family visited us and we had a great time. One of the shows we enjoyed together was The Golden Gate Quartet, singing live. To this day my cousins, Ravi and Rajan, talk about it. Their Afro American Spirituals were truly uplifting and my uncle, a great singer himself, loved it. If I remember right we saw the show twice. Rajan loved his stay with us so much that he was reluctant to leave our house!

Recently when my cousin, Ravi Santosham and I were reminiscing about his Ceylon trip he told me that his love for Christian spiritual songs had started that day. Though a renowned and busy doctor, he has a music group which is internationally well known.

Cakes and More

The Sinhalese women were great at baking cakes and icing. My mother picked up the recipe for a Christmas cake from Mrs. Gunasekara and used it every year for Christmas till she was alive. It was a rich fruit cake mixed with brandy and cherry. One day she was asked to be a judge along with two other diplomats' wives for a Cake Icing Competition. She was astounded at the imagination, perfection and aesthetic sense of the participants. She said that one lady had presented a cake in the shape of a shirt and iced it so beautifully that the judges wondered whether it was a cake or a real shirt.

Ceylon is known for its fruits, vegetables and its mouthwatering dishes. The jackfruit and passion fruit that grew there were out of this world. String hoppers with sambal was a combination I really loved. Tiger prawns and other varieties of fish were available in plenty and Vellayudam, our cook, prepared many interesting and tasty dishes.

Meeting Famous Singer, Tony Brent and Hero of the Movie, Fanny

The premier show of the then famous movie Fanny was organized for the diplomats and their families. One of the leading movie stars, Herr Bucholz, the hero of the movie, had flown in to watch it with us. There was a lot of excitement. After the show I was able to meet him and get his autograph. He also spent a few minutes talking to me. Tony Brent, a famous pop singer, was another celebrity who visited Colombo. We had dinner with him and I was thrilled to converse with him and get his autograph too. This was particularly special because he was India-born, and his songs topped the charts in Ceylon and India at one time.

Jayewardene & His Humour

Mr J R Jayewardene was then the Finance Minister and later became the Prime Minister of Sri Lanka. He and his wife became very close to our family. My parents played Bridge with them either at their house or in ours. He was a great conversationalist and would come up with many political and other jokes. My father could get to know about the political developments in the country through him, and this was very useful for him to take some crucial diplomatic decisions. When we left Ceylon Mr Jayewardene presented my father with a beautifully engraved silver box which we treasured. He was a man of great humor and jokingly said "You know, your Prime Minister Pandit Nehru has asked our widowed Prime Minister Mrs. Sirimavo Bandaranaike's hand in marriage with Ceylon (Sri Lanka) as dowry."

Meeting German Piano Maestro, Herr Kemp

Once, the German Consul General's wife hosted a party for Herr Kemp, one of the leading pianists of our times. We were invited to that party and treated to some melodious music before dinner. I felt privileged to meet and converse with him in German. He wore a tuxedo and after every piece he would stand up, bow to the audience while receiving a standing ovation. That day I regretted not continuing my piano lessons in Germany.

Max Mueller Bhavan in Colombo

There was a Max Mueller Bhavan in Colombo and my parents coaxed me into continuing my German. I must say at that time I thought that it was a waste of my time. But later in my life, German language played a very important role. Herr and Frau Kuenzel were in charge of Max Mueller Bhavan and were in charge of teaching German. They were very lovable and good teachers. I started enjoying my classes and had an opportunity to practice my German. Since I had lived and studied in Germany for nearly two years, my command over the language was much appreciated by the other students.

Air Craft Carrier INS Vikrant

It was 1961 and INS Vikrant, the first Indian aircraft carrier under Captain Kohli had docked in Colombo after it had been tested in Bombay. The entire diplomatic corps was invited on board for a grand party and tour of the ship. The Captain explained all the important features of the ship and demonstrated how the aircraft would take off and land. It was extremely interesting and highly educative. We Indians were proud of our country's achievement. As a diplomat's daughter I was extremely privileged to be on INS Vikrant. In the grand party on board, we enjoyed the gourmet food that was served. The next day a friendly badminton match was organized offshore between the officials of INS Vikrant and the Indian Embassy diplomats and their families. I was part of one of the teams and it was fun.

Japanese Royal Wedding and Japanese Ambassador's Party

In 1959 Emperor Akihito of Japan married a commoner, who later became Empress Michiko. It was one of the biggest news flashes of the time. She had insisted on bringing up her children herself and even packing bento boxes (lunch boxes) for them. The Japanese ambassador in Ceylon hosted a lavish party in honor of the royal wedding. The dinner was on the lawns of his sprawling residence, which was decorated with lights, festoons and Ikebana flower arrangements. The women of the Japanese Diplomatic Corps wore kimonos and the men were in traditional attires. Before dinner we had a film show of the royal wedding, followed by a spread of authentic Japanese food and Sake, a typical Japanese drink.

In my later years, in 2005, my dream of visiting Japan was fulfilled when our son, Satish was posted to Tokyo. We spent six months with him and his family, experiencing Japanese culture. One day I was visiting my Japanese friend Midori. While walking through one of the streets close to her house, she mentioned that if we were lucky we might see the Empress as that area was her favorite shopping place. I was hoping against hope to see her but much to my disappointment, she did not make her appearance there that day. However, it kindled my memories of the royal wedding in Nepal 50 years ago.

My Father Promoted as Commissioner

My father received his transfer order from the Ministry of External Affairs. Promoted as Commissioner for India, he was to be in charge of Central Africa, which included Southern Rhodesia (the present day Zimbabwe), Northern Rhodesia (Zambia) and Nyasaland (Malawi). It was a prestigious posting and we were excited.

At this stage I was preparing seriously for the GEC Higher Level Exams, which was equivalent to the 12th Standard in India. In diplomatic service nothing happens according to your plan. I realized that I would have to move again to another school to complete my GEC Higher Level Exams. The very thought scared me. But by now, I had learnt to cope with such sudden changes.

A round of farewell parties started which were hosted by many diplomatic heads of other countries as well as our friends. The Indian community got together and threw a wonderful party in one of the big hotels that was like a little India, with every Indian state being represented. The entertainment and the food spread were unimaginable. Many of them spoke highly of my father and presented him with a silver plaque shaped like Ceylon. Once again bidding good bye to all our friends and domestic staff was painful. It was, after all, part and parcel of a diplomat's daughter's life.

Press Interview and Coverage

The day before we left Ceylon, a press reporter interviewed my father and took a picture of my parents and me. Almost 20 years later, one of my mother's cousins, Mr. Kingsley met me at the church in Chennai, and surprised me with the cutting of the picture that had appeared in the Ceylon newspaper. The Kingsley family had to vacate Ceylon in a hurry during the Tamil agitation, leaving behind many of their belongings. But, he said, "I brought this cutting to hand it over to you some day. Finally it has happened, though it has taken years to find you." It left me totally speechless! He continued to talk about my father's tenure in Ceylon with fond memories. I have treasured that newspaper cutting.

(First President of India Shri Rajendra Prasad visits Ceylon. My parents at a party hosted by the High Commissioner Mr.Gundevia at his residence. My parents and Rapti, daughter of the High Commissioner, seen in the picture)

( With the famous Travancore sisters, Padmini and Ragini, who were also well-known film actresses and Bharatanatyam dancers and visited Ceylon often)

(Autograph of Herr Buchholz, famous Hollywood hero of the movie 'Fanny' who visited Ceylon for the premier show of 'Fanny')

  (A Ceylon newspaper carried this news with the photograph taken on the eve of our departure from Ceylon. This clipping was handed over to me after nearly 20 years in Chennai by my mother's cousin, Mr. Kingsley)

(Tony Brent, the famous pop singer of the 60's)

Chapter 11

OVER TO AFRICA

(Photograph of self, 1962)

After our departure from Ceylon we had a short holiday in Madras, and visited my maternal grandmother in Vellore. She was a very brave woman but this time I could see some sadness in her eyes. In retrospect, she must have had some premonition. I did not realize then that it would be the last time I would be seeing her. This was the beautiful home in which I had spent some memorable years under her care. My mother was quite upset to bid good bye to her. My grandmother had grown frail but refused to stay with any of her children, choosing to live alone in that big house. I always admired her courage. Even at her age she went out of the way to help those who were in need and her faith in God was unshakable.

We came to Madras and stayed in Willie Uncle's house for a couple of days. My mother had requested Vellayudam, our domestic help in Ceylon, to arrange for his brother Ragavan to join us at Madras as the Government of India allowed a domestic help to accompany us to Rhodesia. Ragavan appeared to be very timid, which made me wonder how he would manage, coming as he did from a small village in Kerala. Though it took some time for him to adjust, he turned out to be a great asset to our family.

Africa-bound via Bombay

After bidding goodbye to our dear ones we boarded the train to Bombay. We were put up in the Taj Hotel in Bombay. Ragavan was also provided with a single room next to my parents' room and he was totally embarrassed. It was July and Bombay was experiencing torrential rains. Though it was way back in 1961, I distinctly remember taxis driving through knee \- deep water to the harbor for us to board the ship Asia .

My parents were given the best cabin as it was an Indian ship, in addition to my father being the highest government official on board. I had a cabin next to theirs while Ragavan's was in a lower deck. Every day the Captain would have dinner with us. Just when we had got over seasickness and began to enjoy the voyage, my father developed high fever and vomiting. It was scary to be in the middle of the ocean with my father so sick. The ship's doctor treated him but there was no improvement. So the Captain consulted the doctors from the other ships in the vicinity. A new line of treatment was started and, by the grace of God, his fever came down and his vomiting stopped. But he became extremely weak. My mother and I were concerned and worried. But, the Captain and the staff were very supportive and comforting. After a few days the ship docked at Zanzibar.

Zanzibar

Some of the passengers of the ship were planning to go into the island and my parents insisted that I should go with them. They felt that it was a great opportunity for me to see another country. It was an interesting, quaint little island with small, cute shops. The entire population seemed to be Muslim. Zanzibar was known as a Spice Island. It is rather sad that these days, since we mostly fly, we miss out on seeing such lovely little Islands.

Arrival at Salisbury in Southern Rhodesia

Finally we reached Nairobi in Kenya. We stayed overnight in one of the best hotels and flew to Salisbury (Harare) in Southern Rhodesia (Zimbabwe). At the airport, we were received by the Protocol Officer representing the Southern Rhodesian Government, Mr. Adam, the Indian Military attaché, Mr. Sethee, as well as Mr. Gaind, the Indian Press Attache.

Our Beautiful Home in Salisbury

The drive to the bungalow was enthralling, Salisbury being a plateau lush with vegetation. Our house was beautifully perched on a hillock. Rare cacti grew on either side of the driveway while on the slopes, one could see beautiful cannas of all colors. Purple agapanthus, Joseph lilies, gerberas, dahlias, ferns and roses adorned the garden amidst mature trees and shrubs. There was a wraparound verandah with different colors of geraniums bordering it. When you stepped out there was a luxurious green lawn and a sunken tennis court. Beyond the court there were acres of fir trees.

The house was furnished tastefully. I was very excited to find a black and white TV in the living room. It thrilled me because TV's had not entered the Indian market then. I noticed a flag post right in front of the house. Because of my father's official position, the Indian national flag would be hoisted every day at dawn and lowered before dusk. A Benz car with the Indian flag was allotted to my father. Whenever he travelled in the car, the flag would be unfurled.

We were introduced to the domestic staff. Paul, who later turned out to be our Man Friday, was 6 feet 5 inches tall. He would be in his uniform and had a tendency to giggle all the time. John was the driver, a more serious person who was very well dressed in his uniform and cap. Betty was the maid who would wash clothes and dishes, and keep the house clean. She was a buxom woman and had a white apron tied around her waist. Ragavan who had come with us from India would be the cook and caretaker of our interests. A gardener would come every day to take care of the sprawling garden.

The customary round of welcome parties started and my father began to meet the diplomatic fraternity. A journalist accompanied by a photographer arrived. They took photographs of my mother and me and interviewed us. The next day's newspaper carried our photograph and a write-up with the caption "Flower and Peace Come to Town" . This was because my mother's name was Flora and mine, Shanthy, meaning, Peace.

First non- White in a British School

Barely out of the party euphoria, it hit me that I would have to go to a new school again. That night I felt so restless that I could not sleep. Having made all enquiries, my father told me that there were Indian schools but he would like me to go to a British school. Since apartheid was encouraged by the government and Whites were ruling the country, no non- White was allowed to enter a school for the Whites. But my father represented India and after consulting with the Indian Government, he took me to meet the Principal, Miss Greenfield of Queen Elizabeth School. She gave me a warm smile and went at length to explain the government's policy. She then informed us that, because my father was a senior diplomat, the government had waived it for me.

She asked me to prepare myself to face the challenge of taking up the Senior Cambridge exams in a couple of months, the papers of which would be set in England. For a moment I felt like running away. I composed myself and accepted the challenge. In the history of that country, I would be the first non- White to enter a school for the Whites.

I was asked to join school the next day. My father insisted I should handle the situation on my own. The next day, John, our driver took me to the school. I walked up to the Principal's room with my knees literally shaking. She asked me to take a seat, and explained that she was going to the Assembly Hall to address the students and inform them about me. She hinted that I should be prepared for some rough treatment from the girls. Soon I heard through the Public Address System Miss Greenfield presenting my case and requesting the students to co-operate with me.

I prayed hard to God to give me the courage to handle the situation. Later Miss Greenfield walked in and asked me to follow her to the class, which consisted of twenty girls, all Whites. After a moment of awkward silence, she introduced and was gone! The teacher asked me to sit. The rest of the day I sat numb, totally at a loss, because the girls were way ahead in all the subjects.

When the classes were over I distinctly remember, Jean Yates, one of my classmates, holding my hand saying, "We will help you, don't worry." I was surrounded by all the girls who encouraged me. Tears rolled down my eyes. It was as though a bubble had finally burst. At that moment I couldn't help concluding that people all over the world are basically good, but it is the politicians who create barriers to further their political aspirations. The teacher then took me to the staff room and introduced me to all the teachers who would be teaching me. Every one of them gave me a warm clasp. My class teacher said, "There will be a lot to catch up and we will work together and see to it that you get through." I could not but thank God for all these wonderful people whom He had brought in my life.

John came to pick me up from school. Some of the girls in my class, all of them British, walked with me to the car, carrying my books!!!! They all were so nice and gave me a very reassuring smile. I could see a sense of relief in John's (African) face, because I think he must have expected the worst.

That night I was overwhelmed to discover the amount of portions I would have to complete before the fast approaching exams. So I plunged into my studies in right earnest. My teachers would also stay after school to help me with dissections, experiments and tutoring. My classmates were ever ready and helped me by writing notes and clarifying my doubts. I stayed up late in the nights and woke up early to study. I struggled with Chemistry but my teacher put in a lot of effort to give me confidence.

Finally, the examinations started. I seemed to do quite well in all the papers. On the day of my Chemistry practical exam, I felt butterflies in my stomach and broke the burette while carrying out the experiment. The examiner gave me another one, and, lo and behold, I broke that too. Basically, my hands were shaking with fear. Two examiners had come from Cambridge, England. One of them walked up to me and assured me that there was nothing for me to worry about , and all I needed to do was to relax, not think of it as an exam but as a regular class session. Well, my confidence came back and everything went smoothly from then on. We had a viva voce, which I never expected for a 12th Standard exam.

All through my holidays I was tense about my results. It was a relief that I had scored well in all my papers. There was a big surprise when I found that I had got the highest marks in Chemistry and stood first in it in the class. More than me, my teachers and classmates were thrilled and happy for me. On behalf of the teachers and the class, the Chemistry teacher wrote a congratulatory note. She also mentioned what a pleasure it was to be associated with me and to help me to achieve what I did. How magnanimous of them, I thought. But for their help, effort and guidance I would have hardly passed my exams. It was indeed a real lifetime experience.

Meeting a School Faculty after 45 Years

Many years later in 2006, my husband and I were visiting our son Satish and family in Chaska, Minnesota, USA. We went to church and after the service, a lady walked up to me and introduced herself. From her conversation I gathered that she had lived in Salisbury for many years and that she was a retired teacher who had worked in Queen Elizabeth School!!! I told her that in 1961, I had done a small part of my schooling there. Her eyes popped up and she said, "Don't tell me you were the one who was the first non-White girl ever to be admitted in a White School." She said that she had talked about it for many years until the country got independence and apartheid was abolished. She knew Miss Greenfield, the Principal, as she had worked under her. I just could not believe what I was listening to after 45 years. Fond memories of her, my teachers and classmates came back in a flash. The experience of enjoying certain privileges as a diplomat's daughter was special and taught me to thank God and appreciate the good things that had lined up in my life.

The University College of Rhodesia and Nyasaland was a relatively new college, affiliated to London University. Queen Mother was the Vice-chancellor and she had laid the foundation stone for the buildings in the year 1955. It did not have a big student population, notwithstanding the fact that it was the only college for all the three Central African countries put together apart from being situated in a sprawling campus at Mt Pleasant. In 1961, the year I joined the college, there were only 350 students. Since the United Kingdom and the London University had jointly founded it, they had stipulated that students of all races should be admitted. Thus, I had no problem in getting admission. As I desired, I got into the Bachelor's Degree in Science with Zoology and Botany as my main subjects of study. I was offered Chemistry as my ancillary subject as I had scored high marks.

On the first day of college a Chinese student and I were being taken around the sprawling campus by a faculty member, Mr. Guy Barnish. He stopped at the library and pointed to us its striking features. To my surprise, a picture of the three of us appeared in the next day's newspaper with a note.

I was told that there would be some kind of ragging by the seniors. The thought gave me sleepless nights. But I was relieved as girls were spared. The boys, however, had to face it head on: they were asked to get their heads clean shaven!

I think this was the first time in my life that I was starting my classes from Day 1, because I had always joined school at mid-term, missing months of teaching. Thus, my experience here was truly special.

From Chemistry to Geology

Classes started and our lecturers, mostly British, were kind and very good in their subjects. The only set back was that, I was finding Chemistry rather difficult though I had scored the highest marks in my school final exams. I picked up courage and met the Principal, Sir Walter Adams. He tried convincing me to continue with Chemistry, but that was not easy. He then told me that the only other option I had was Geology, which would involve a lot of field work like climbing mountains, soil testing, and so on. I told him that I was prepared to go the whole hog.

When I came home that evening I was not sure how my father would react. But I think he was happy that I had handled the situation well, on my own! I am grateful to my parents for encouraging me to face difficult situations and take independent decisions with trust in God. I can clearly say that I have never ever run away from a problem. I am reminded of Nehruji, who once stood in the balcony of his Allahabad house watching his young daughter Indira Gandhi jumping and dexterously evading puddles of water. From the top he shouted, "Get into the puddle." This was to teach her the importance of plunging into problems and not avoiding them.

Soon I came to realize what Mr. Adams, my Principal, meant when he had sounded me on the practical difficulties in studying Geology. We were taken on many field trips for studying rock structures, soil testing, mountain faults, etc. On one such trip, we had to cross a stream to reach a mountain. While wading through the snail-infested water, the slimy creatures clung to my leg. It was a horrible experience. A month later I started feeling very sick. On learning about my symptoms, the faculty member who had taken us on the trip advised my parents to get me tested for a disease called Bilharzia, an infection carried by snails that were in that stream. I was petrified because I heard that the treatment was worse than the disease itself. By the grace of God the results were negative and like a miracle, my symptoms disappeared with some mild treatment..

In another incident I slipped and fell badly while climbing one of the rocks. But my most exciting moment was when we went to a garnet mountain. The sight of beautiful dark purple perfectly cut garnet stones embedded in the rocks was fascinating. It was unbelievable! We also saw the garnet factory. It was a rare sight to behold, to see the garnet stones getting separated, sliding down and falling into a heap. Similarly, I also loved the soapstone rock mountains.

Missing Mozambique Trip on Political Grounds

I enjoyed my Zoology and Biology classes. A trip was planned for the students to go to Mozambique, a Portuguese Colony in East Africa, to study the marine eco system. The entire class was pumped up with excitement and anticipation. The trip would entail a long flight to Mozambique and a 3- day stay in a beach resort from where all the study would be carried out. In those days, Mozambique was under Portuguese regime and India had a strained relationship with Portugal because of the situation in Goa. The college authorities made attempts to get me a visa which the Portuguese government refused on grounds of my safety. I was extremely disappointed. The college then tried to organize an alternative trip for me to England. Sadly, that too did not work out. However, the faculty and my classmates brought all the specimens apart from sharing with me the inputs of their study, which helped me immensely for my exams. Time and again, I became aware that a diplomat's daughter is bound by protocol which sometimes works favorably, and at other times, can be disappointing. You have to learn to adapt to situations.

High Class Hostel Experience

My parents now took one of the best decisions for me. After much thought and discussion they decided that I should stay in a hostel for a few years as it would be an enriching experience. I deeply appreciate my parents for this opportunity they facilitated for me. It must have been a difficult decision involving heavy expenses because the hostel maintained a very high standard set by the University of London. It turned out to be one of the most memorable times of my youth.

I was allotted a beautiful single room in Swinton Hall. Everyday an African maid would clean my room, make my bed and leave a fresh towel. She changed the bed linen once a week. I was allowed to use an electric kettle in the room. A British lady trained in Switzerland was in charge of the food and dining room arrangements. Two smart liveried African men would open the doors for us and usher us into the dining room. The tables were set with fine crockery and cutlery as well as fresh, crisp napkins. Waiters served us gourmet food that consisted of freshly baked bread, interesting soups, awesome desserts, fish, meat and chicken preparations, comparable to any 5- Star hotel. Cheese and crackers would be served in platters with piping hot coffee after dinner in the lounge. This would be a time of relaxing. We students would chat for a while and carry some cheese and crackers to our rooms which we usually would munch on as we studied late into the night. We would sometimes meet in one of the rooms for a short coffee break.

Rhubarb pudding was my favorite dessert during my stay in the hostel. Its memories were revived years later in 2005 when we visited our daughter Preeth and her family in Milwaukee. One of her neighbors who grew them in her garden sent us a Rhubarb preparation. Similarly in 2011, when we visited our son Satish, our daughter-in-law Shobana made a delicious Rhubarb pudding. This brought back memories of my college days after almost fifty years.

One of the girls I got friendly with in the hostel was Anne, a Jewish girl. During my early days in the hostel, I suffered from insomnia. I shared my problem with Anne and she suggested that I take a tablet that she had to get over it. That night while I was talking over the phone to my mother, I mentioned about it and she strictly told me not to take any medication, but to spend my sleepless time in some study. I am glad I took my mother's advice. For, it did not take me long to discover that Anne was a drug addict and was trying to hook me.

On the weekend when both of us had gone to our respective homes, I received a call from Anne's mother and I was simply shocked at what I heard. The previous night the parents had gone for a party and returned home late. They saw her room lights were off and assumed she had gone to sleep. In the morning they were shocked to find her unconscious on the floor, probably due to heavy drugging. One of her legs had buckled in such a way that blood had clotted severely, leaving the doctors with the only option of amputating her leg. After the amputation, Anne wanted to talk to me. I was stunned at her sense of humor, intact even during a traumatic experience. She said, "These doctors have nothing better to do and have chopped off my leg." It took me days to get over it.

I visited her as often as I could and was astonished at her inner strength. Slowly, she got over her addiction with medical help. She was back to college with crutches and soon had an artificial limb fixed. I must admit I have learnt a lot from Anne, particularly, what not to do in life. I am also glad I had the sense to listen to my mother. Upon Anne's mother's request, I continued to visit Anne often because she had become a day scholar. I would enjoy the most delicious Jewish food that her mother served whenever I visited them.

Judy Todd, Former Prime Minister's Daughter

It was during my stay in the hostel that I became close to Judy Todd, daughter of Sir Garfield Todd, former Prime Minister of Southern Rhodesia. Sir Garfield Todd had been overthrown from power for his progressive ideas. He was Prime Minister from the year 1953 to 1958. Judy, his daughter, wanted to fight apartheid because next to South Africa, Southern Rhodesia was the most White-dominated. As we all know, universities are bedrocks of political activity. Judy decided to go on a big protest against the White regime headed by Ian Smith, the then Prime Minister.

Many girls and boys joined the agitation and everyone was politically charged. Wanting to join it, I rang up my father that evening to get his permission. Much to my disappointment, my father dissuaded me. He explained that a diplomat's daughter getting involved in an agitation against the host government would become a serious political issue which could affect the relationship between the two countries. Judy also agreed that my joining the agitation could be used to side-track the main issue by both the Rhodesian government and the media, and affect the purpose of the agitation.

I was glad that though I could not participate, I was in Southern Rhodesia at such a historical time and knew Judy, who played a huge part in the freedom struggle of the Africans in Southern Rhodesia. That night all of them were arrested and sent to jail. It was wonderful to see how the African and White students, both boys and girls, came together to fight for a common cause.

This incident became my dear friend, Judy Todd's stepping stone to put down White supremacy. At the young age of 20 , she plunged wholeheartedly to fight a noble cause , though she herself belonged to the White minority and was the daughter of the former Prime Minister. Later, many years after my marriage, I read in the newspaper The Hindu , that the US government had bestowed the Peace Award to Judy, and that she had flown to the US to receive it.

Recently, she has a written a book, "Through the Darkness: Life in Zimbabwe". I was saddened to read that her marriage to Sir Richard Acton lasted only 10 years. She was jailed and exiled from the country by Prime Minister Ian Smith and could return only in 1980. I think, the saddest part of all this was yet to come. When the Africans got freedom and Robert Mugabe took over the regime, Judy was once again ostracized for criticizing his lawless rule. The Blacks did this to her, to one who had sacrificed her youth and life fighting for them. As I read about her life, my heart wrenched with pain for her. After many years of trying, I was finally able to get in touch with her through Facebook. She sent me a lovely E-mail. I wish I could meet her sometime and catch up with old times.

While on the subject of Judy Todd, I would also like to mention a great weekend that we enjoyed and the political incident involving my father that happened. Sir Garfield Todd and his wife had invited us over the weekend to their ranch. I was very excited at the prospect of spending time with Judy. She took me around to show all the horses that they reared. It was a beautiful ranch. I distinctly remember singing some old songs, playing board games and sharing jokes. Intending it to be a purely personal visit, my father did not want to discuss Southern Rhodesia politics with Sir Garfield Todd, who also shared the same sentiment. We returned home after a great weekend.

My Father Refuses to Meet the Prime Minister

On Monday morning there was a call from the Office of the Prime Minister, Sir Roy Welensky (Prime Minister for all the three countries at that time). The PM had heard about our trip to Sir Garfield's ranch, and wanted my father to meet him and explain the purpose of the visit in the office. My father agreed to the meeting. My mother was very worried because she knew the diplomatic implications that could follow, resulting in strained relationships between the two governments. I sat next to my mother, totally frozen. My father paced up and down, and then went into the bedroom. On returning, he spoke to the PM's Secretary asking him to inform Prime Minister Sir Roy Welensky that his visit to the ranch had been a purely personal one and as such, he did not owe him any explanation. He added that he would not be meeting him in the office.

My father was convinced that he had done nothing diplomatically wrong that he need be ashamed of. I know that when he went into the bedroom, he must have prayed before taking such a bold decision. That day I learnt from him that if you are right in your decisions and actions, you do not have to fear even the most powerful men. One must always make it a point to receive spiritual strength and guidance from God before taking any important decision.

Another facet of my student days was that I always enjoyed playing some kind of sport. In my school days in India I played basketball (known as Net Ball those days), throw ball and ring tennis. In Pondicherry we had a beautiful table tennis table in our house and I often played with my father. I tried roller skating with my friends in Germany. In Ceylon I enjoyed playing shuttlecock. I was a member of a club and played in inter- club matches. One of my biggest dreams came true when I saw a beautiful tennis court at our home in Salisbury. Paul, our domestic help, would run the roller every day, keep the court ready and coach me when I returned home after college. During weekends, my father who was a good player taught me to serve and play back hand. When I joined the hostel I played tennis in the lovely courts whenever I could find some time. Very often on Sundays, my friends and my parents' friends would come home to play. My mother always had a spread of goodies for the guests. At times, Lord Dalhousie, the Governor General would turn up with Lady Dalhousie to play too. When my brothers visited us from Scotland I enjoyed playing with them too.

Meeting Kenneth Kaunda Before He Becomes Prime Minister

I had a mid-term break and my father organized an official visit to Northern Rhodesia and Nyasaland, since he was in charge of those countries too. We stopped at Lusaka, the capital of Northern Rhodesia (Zambia). My father was interested in meeting Mr. Kaunda, who was then a young freedom fighter. We parked the car near his house which was situated in a very congested area. We were surprised that he lived in a small hut. When he came to know that my father, the Indian Commissioner, had come, he came running to meet him. They both walked to a shaded place and discussed for some time. My father assured him of the unconditional support of the Indian government. He had been very interested in the way India had gained independence.

Within a year Zambia got its Independence from the British. Lo and behold! Mr. Kenneth Kaunda became the first African Prime Minister of Zambia. He, his wife Betty and their children moved out of the little hut into the Prime Minister's official residence. Betty was sent to England by the government for training in etiquette and grooming that a First Lady was expected to be proficient in. My parents were invited for their Independence Day celebrations. Unfortunately, I could not attend that function and had to stay in my friend's house. But on our next trip, President Kaunda and his wife Betty invited us to the Presidential Palace for dinner. I could not believe the transformation that had taken place in such a short time.

Prime Minister Kaunda organized a visit to a copper mine for my father. All the three of us were driven to the mine. The color of the copper belt was an interesting greenish blue. With the mine being a "Men only" zone, my father got to tour it while we remained in the company of some officials. On behalf of the Northern Rhodesian government, the President presented my father with a copper table in appreciation of his visit. I still have the table at home. Whenever I look at it I am reminded of our visits to Northern Rhodesia.

When my father returned to Salisbury, he advised the Indian government to place an order for copper ore from the Northern Rhodesian government. The government honored his suggestion, and this gesture went a long way to strengthen the ties between the two countries. Prime Minister Kaunda was extremely happy, because historically for the first time, a ship load of copper ore was transported to India from the newly independent Zambia (Northern Rhodesia).

(M

MP from Japan was at a party at our home in Salisbury. Southern Rhodesia

My Parent's welcoming Dr Kaunda Prime Minister of Independent

Zambia for the reception organised for 14th Anniversary as

An independent Indian Republic

y parents welcoming Dr Kaunda, the Prime Minister of Zambia, at the reception hosted by them in honour of the 14th anniversary of India becoming an Independent Republic)

(Indira Gandhi's autograph obtained during our stay in The Hotel in Lusaka, Northern Rhodesia)

(One of the many letters written by Mrs. Indira Gandhi to my mother. She always made it a point to write a hand written personal note)

The Telegram sent to my father by Mrs. Gandhi on behalf of the Indian Government when my mother passed away suddenly in George town, British Guyana

(Telegram sent to my father by Mrs. Indira Gandhi on behalf of the Indian government when my mother passed away suddenly in Georgetown, British Guyana)

(Autograph of Lord Dalhousie,Governor General of S. Rhodesia)

(Local newspaper report of an interview concerning Indian participation in beauty contests (1962)

Stalagmite and Stalactite Caves

As we were driving back to Southern Rhodesia, we were advised to visit a stalagmite and stalactite cave. The car had to be parked a little distance away from the cave. A guide led us and we had to walk very carefully over slippery rocks. The sudden appearance of the cave stunned us.

We could not enter the caves because they didn't seem safe. However, the beauty of the stalagmites and stalactites was evident. Found in limestone caves, they are formed as calcium carbonate accumulates when the minerals dripping down evaporate. Stalactites, also known as drip stones, form when they suspend from the ceiling and walls of caves. Stalagmites, on the other hand, arise from the ground and form column-like structures. They are of different colors depending on the minerals present in them. The ones we saw were light pinkish brown and we were told that it was due to the iron and copper in them.

The most amazing thing was a pool of crystal clear aquamarine water there. The whole picture was so breathtaking that, even today after fifty years, I can remember it vividly. One could see God's handiwork expressed in all its beauty and glory in nature.

Game Reserve: Lions, Elephants, Crocodiles, Birds, Porcupines & Rhinos

We stopped at Luangwa Valley, a game reserve in Zimbabwe. The government had organized our stay inside the reserve in a very comfortable guest house. In the still of the night we could hear elephants trumpeting, lions roaring and the raucous laughter of the hyenas. Early next morning, a jeep was sent for us with two reserve guards carrying rifles accompanying us. The dawn unfolded dramatically as several amazing sights were revealed to us. First, we saw a lion stalking a helpless deer till he killed it, and soon all its comrades gathered to enjoy the feast. We moved on and saw hundreds of elephants chomping away branches of trees. We witnessed another group of elephants crossing the river in an orderly file. What discipline! The sight of a baby elephant being helped to cross the river was cute and interesting indeed. The baby elephant held on to the tail of an adult elephant while another adult elephant held the baby elephant's tail with its trunk.

As we drove we saw hundreds of crocodiles looking like rocks all along the river bank. I wanted to see them at close quarters, and the guard gave me permission to get down. As I opened the door of the jeep to step out, I was jolted at the sight of two majestic lions right next to our vehicle. I could have stepped on them! Needless to say I banged the jeep door shut as quickly as I could. Fear gripped us. But, to our surprise and relief, the two lions lazily, but majestically, walked away from us. We were told by the guard that after their sumptuous meal in the morning they would not care for any other prey!

Back at the hotel, we were having dinner when one of the tourists told us that he had seen some lions lazing around in a cave. Probably, he had got lost momentarily as they appeared to him like tamed grown up cats. Casually, he had stroked one of the lions when it lazily pushed his hand away. But even that had dislocated his arm and caused serious injury needing hospitalization. The thought of what could have happened to me made me shudder.

One of the most spectacular sights we saw was when a guard sent an air shot, causing thousands and thousands of orange colored cardinal birds bursting into the sky to form a thick orange cloud. As we drove further, we saw thousands of elands, giraffe, deer and wild boar. Porcupines crossed our path all the time. Not only were we able to see a herd of rhinos but a rare white rhino too.

Victoria Falls

After that memorable and adventurous experience we drove to the Victoria Falls. (Tokaleya Tonga: the smoke that thunders). This waterfall is on the Zambezi River, on the border of Southern Rhodesia (Zimbabwe) and Northern Rhodesia (Zambia). It was named in honor of Queen Victoria by David Livingston, a Scottish missionary and explorer, who discovered it. It is also believed that David Livingston's heart has been buried around this place though his body was carried to his hometown. The whole volume of the Zambezi River pours through gorges.

The valley floor is about a thousand meters deep. As the cataract cascades down and hits it, a cloud of water droplets spray and spread around looking alluring. Walking on one side of the valley, we found the view breathtaking. I have also seen the Niagara Falls which, in comparison, is enormous and higher. In the case of the Victoria Falls, one can stand on the opposite side and actually view its formation as the gushing Zambezi river drops down . The river is so wide that it forms the world's widest sheet of falling water (5,604ft) and the spraying water can be seen up to 48 km.

A natural pool, called "The Devils Pool", is formed among the rocks.. We were surprised to see a few people swimming in this risky pool! We enjoyed and imbibed the beauty of the falls for hours before we returned to the hotel.

My Father Announces the Liberation of Goa

In Lusaka (N.Rhodesia), the Indian community organized a welcome party for my father. It was on this occasion that he announced the liberation of Goa that had come about after 451 years of Portuguese rule.Known as Operation Vijay, it required a 36-hour operation by sea, air and land to annex Goa to the Union of India. No one had any clue about this in the year 1961, especially since the communication system was not as good as it is today. However, my father had received first- hand information through the diplomatic channel. There was jubilation all-round. The intensity of patriotic fervor that Indians have when they live far away from the country must be seen to be believed.

President Banda & Our Nyasaland (Malawi) Visit

We also drove to Blantyre, the capital of Nyasaland (Malawi), since my father had to meet Dr Hastings Banda, the President of Malawi. Malawi had already gained independence from the British. Dr Banda hosted a party for my father and it was a joyful occasion. I would like to mention a few things about Dr Banda. He was a medical practitioner, educated in the UK, known to be very arrogant and feared by the British. He fought for the independence of Nyasaland, and became the self-styled President-for-Life, remaining in the post for 30 years. He respected my father so much that he would address him as "Your Excellency".

We then attended a party hosted by Mr. Saccar , an Indian, who also visited us with his wife. The entire Indian community was present at the party to meet us. We did some sightseeing. Lake Nyasa, one of the nine biggest lakes of the world and located in a deep trough mainly within Malawi, was breathtaking. In spite of it being just a lake, I was amazed to see waves lashing against the shores as though it was a sea.

Pageant at College and My friend, Pushpa

On my return from the Central African Federation trip, I was back at college. I was told that a Queen would be chosen among the students and she would be taken around the city in a grand pageant that would comprise floats on different themes. A Chinese girl was chosen as the Queen from our college and I was dressed as a Greek Goddess for the pageant. It was great fun as the floats drove past people who kept cheering us through the city.

I had developed friendship with an Indian girl, Pushpa, in the hostel. Initially, she was an introvert, but gradually, she opened up to me and became one of my good friends. Hailing from Lusaka, she was in love with a guy who did not respond to her. So she was dejected. I tried counseling her but I don't think it had much effect. It was summer and we all went home. One day to my utter shock, there was a call from her family to tell me that she had consumed poison and was in a serious condition in hospital. It shook me to the core.

Unfortunately for me, she lived in Bulawayo which was very far from Salisbury where I lived, and I could not visit her. I was in constant touch with the family, though. She was in hospital for nearly two weeks, when something very interesting happened. The young doctor who treated her developed a liking for her. A few years later I heard from Pushpa that she and the doctor were planning to get married! I was very happy for her. It was a movie type ending!

Jewish Friend Rosemary & Her Family

We had some very dear Jewish friends, Uncle Barni, Aunty Sonia and Rosemary. They had a lovely house with a swimming pool and a beautiful garden, maintained by Uncle Barni. I remember the unique dark black rose that he grew in his garden. I have never seen one in my life. He took pride in Jews being a very hard working people. He had the sole dealership for Janzen swimsuits and was a very successful business man. Very often when I could not accompany my parents on tour, I would stay with them.

Rosemary and I were good friends and would enjoy each other's company. Mahelia Jackson, the famous singer of Negro Spirituals, was in town. Uncle Barni and his family took me for her show. Her booming voice resonated in the hall and kept all of us spell bound. Helen Shapiro, yet another great singer of our times, known as the Girl with a Brandy Voice, gave a special show in Salisbury and they took me for her show too. When their family moved to Northern Rhodesia, I continued to keep in touch with them. As a matter of fact, it was Uncle Barni who introduced my father to President Kaunda, while he was still living in a hut. Many years after we had left Central Africa, this family surprised us when they visited us in India. Though the parents stayed in a hotel, Rosemary stayed in our house in Madras. I was saddened to hear that after the Independence of Northern Rhodesia they had been asked to leave the country.

My 21st Birthday Celebration in Salisbury

I was fortunate to celebrate my 21st birthday in Salisbury. My first gift arrived from India a few days before my birthday. It was from the film actress Ragini, who had got a beautiful midnight blue silk saree shipped by the famous Nalli Silk House in Madras. On my birthday, the first gift was from the Mayor of Salisbury and his wife, a beautiful silver party handbag with a card which had a key attached. I did not know at that time about the western custom that when a girl or a boy turned 21, the house key would be handed over to him or her. Soon a large bouquet arrived from the Governor General Lord Dalhousie and his wife. Many more gifts and bouquets were sent and every one of them sent me a key!!! In the evening my parents organized a party at which many diplomats and my friends were present. It was a thoroughly enjoyable evening.

My Zoology Project

Going back to my studies, one day my Zoology professor, Prof Brenden called me to his room and asked if I had identified a project for Zoology. I had not given it a serious thought, which I admitted. He suggested one involving a study of anthills over several days to understand the life pattern of ants. "I would love to," I answered quickly. He proceeded to explain that he would provide me with a jeep which I had to drive every day to go to the spot. He wanted me to think about it and let him know the next day. Though it was within the campus, it was quite a distance requiring me to take a fairly busy thoroughfare of vehicular traffic. He also wanted me to make sure that I had a driving license to drive in Southern Rhodesia.

I walked out of his room in a daze. When I talked to my father about the conversation, he did not seem to be unduly worried. He walked into the bedroom, came out and handed me the International License. Incidentally, I had learnt driving in Ceylon on my father's insistence but had not pursued it regularly due to lack of opportunity. . My mother was very worried ,but my father was absolutely at ease. He only advised me to be careful while driving.

The next day Prof Brenden walked me to the jeep, gave instructions on how to start the engine, use the gear and clutch, apply the brake, etc. The next thing he did was handing me the key, wishing me good luck and walking away. I picked up courage and started my project work. All went well and I thoroughly enjoyed this routine. I completed the project and submitted the report on time.

During summer holidays, there was a vacancy in the Zoology Department, that of a research assistant to the Zoology lecturer. I offered to do it. He was working on the salivary glands of fruit flies. I had to extract the salivary glands of hundreds of fruit flies under a microscope. He would carry out some experiments with the DNA of the extracts. I also had to help him with data collection and recording. It was very interesting and the professor was very happy with my work. I was pleasantly surprised that the college was paying me for the work. It was very precious as it was my first earning.

My father had to make a trip to India, as he had to attend a Global Meeting of all the Indian Heads of Missions at New Delhi. I handed over my first earnings to him and requested him to pick up two grand Banaras sarees, one for my mother and one for me. My mother was very happy and proud of me. It made me feel very special.

Royal Chef in Action in Our House

When we were in Salisbury, Princess Margaret, Queen Elizabeth's younger sister, got married in England. It made sensational news. The Chief Chef for Princess Margaret's wedding was visiting Salisbury and was willing to prepare some of the dishes served at the wedding. Lady Alport, wife of the British High Commissioner , wished to have a luncheon for the wives of diplomats to celebrate the visit of the Royal Chef from London. But since she was otherwise engaged, she asked my mother if she could host it. My mother agreed. I was home that day, and I thoroughly enjoyed the afternoon. The Royal Chef prepared gourmet food with some dishes being those that were served at Princess Margaret's wedding. While working on the dishes, the Chef narrated a few interesting anecdotes from the Princess's wedding. The presentation of the food was inviting and the taste, unimaginable. The spread was fit for a Queen! What an experience that was!!

Sister Cordula

My fond memories go back to the time spent at college with Sister Mary Cordula. She was a German nun, my classmate and a bright student. I was a day scholar, and we would have lunch together. I loved her sandwiches and cakes, and she loved my Indian food. One day she invited me to visit her nunnery to which John, our driver, drove me. She came running to receive me; I was also met by Mother Superior and other Sisters. I joined them for lunch, which consisted of freshly baked cakes, kuchen (cakes), pastries, a platter of freshly cut salad and fruits, most of which were grown in their backyard itself. A roasted chicken was placed on the table. After the Grace we enjoyed the food as well as the conversation.

After lunch, Sister Cordula took me to their garden which was behind the main building. As she opened the gates I was spellbound to see a picture perfect scene of lush green trees and shrubs. Flowering plants of innumerable varieties, hues, colors, sizes and shapes were a feast to the eye. Orchids hung from trees and the birds' chirping added to the ambience. I wondered whether the Garden of Eden looked something like this!

After imbibing the beauty of the garden, Sister Cordula took me to a quaint little chapel. Jesus hanging on the cross caught my attention even as I entered it. The altar was decorated with pure white agapanthus, Joseph lilies, arum lilies, baby's breath, asters and many more varieties of white flowers. It was simply breathtaking. Sister Cordula left me alone for some time. I enjoyed the calm and the beauty. When I knelt down to pray I felt that God was present there listening to my prayers. When I took leave of the Sisters and others, I felt that I had gone through a never-before experience.

Back home I talked to my mother about the nunnery and my time there with great excitement. I almost wanted to take a decision to become a nun. Guessing my thoughts, my mother brought me back to earth. Now that I am a grandmother with teenage grandchildren, I can understand how a teenager could be swayed so easily.

Diana & Brian

Diana Scott was another dear friend. I think of her very often even now after nearly fifty years. She was the daughter of the British Deputy High Commissioner, Mr. David Scott. We would meet often at our homes. As both our fathers were in Foreign Service, we would meet in many diplomatic parties too. She had a model-like figure with the most gorgeous copper colored hair. We enjoyed playing tennis together.

Brian Unwin, a thorough gentleman, was a British officer working under Diana's father in the British High Commission. They were dating each other. One day Diana drove to our home looking very excited. She broke the news that Brian had proposed to her and showed the beautiful diamond engagement ring she had got. She told me that apart from her family, I was the first one to know about it. I was happy for them. Shortly after, Diana traveled to London to meet Brian's parents. Unfortunately Brian could not take leave at that time as he had a very important diplomatic assignment. Diana was very nervous. I encouraged her assuring her all would be well. Needless to say she was a hit with his parents.

Diana's brother, Robert was into theatre, and he was performing in a play with Elizabeth Taylor in London. She was one of the biggest Hollywood actresses of those days and we were all very excited. Robert and Brian got along very well, and Robert did well thereafter too. Soon the Scotts were transferred back to London. Brian was upset, but in a few months he was also posted to London. Recently I was googling to find Diana's contact details. To my pleasant surprise I found that her husband had been knighted and was now Sir Brian Unwin. He became a diplomat, and currently, is occupying some very high positions, as the President of the European Bank and Honorary President of ECNC. I missed Diana very much. But then it is part of diplomatic life. I felt very sad that I could not attend their wedding, especially because she had requested me to be her Maid of Honour.

Diana's father, David Scott, was posted to Delhi as the British High Commissioner a few years later. Upon my father's invitation, he agreed to propose the toast at my wedding in Madras. I was surprised and touched, when Mr. Scott mentioned that Diana had refused to have a Maid of Honor since I, her best friend, could not make it for her wedding. How I wished Diana was present at mine!

Helga

Helga was another friend who was very dear to me. She was an Afrikaner (of Dutch descent). Their ancestors had come down to South Africa. But unhappy with the government's apartheid policies, they had moved to Salisbury. She was very sympathetic towards the Blacks. Her father worked with semi-precious stones. Often when I visited Helga, her father would take me to his workshop and show his work. When I left for India for good, Helga presented me with a beautifully cut pink agate pendant, stringed to a 14 carat gold chain. I treasured it for many years.

Interviewed by Press

In Salisbury (Southern Rhodesia) the Indian High Commission organized the Independence Day celebrations in Ambassador Hotel, which was one of the biggest in town. The entire diplomatic fraternity was there. It was a real grand affair. During the party a press reporter was keen on interviewing me. I discussed with my father and he advised me to be very careful about making any political statements. However, I was quite surprised with the questions he asked me. At that point of time, the beauty contest for Miss Universe was going on and he wanted to know why Indian girls were not participating. This was in the year 1962 and I told him that Indian girls were not interested in beauty contests. The next day a write up about my views with my photograph appeared in the newspaper. I never imagined then that in the years to come Indian beauties would sweep the world!!!

Mother Teresa

One day after our Zoology practical classes, we students were chatting. The conversation focused on Mother Teresa, who had started making international news. At a very young age she had come to India as a nun, but soon had a calling to dedicate her life to the poor, lonely and the dying. With the permission of the Pope she started the Missionaries of Charity in Calcutta. Though I had heard about her in the year 1963 when I was a student in Salisbury (Harare), it was much later, when I was married and living in Madras, that I had the privilege of becoming the Secretary of the Co-workers of Mother Teresa, which will be elaborated later.

Mrs. Indira Gandhi's Visit

One day, there was a call from the Indian government to inform my father that Mrs. Indira Gandhi (then the Information and Broadcasting Minister) and Dinesh Singh, another Central Minister, along with a few Indian officers and the Press would be touring Africa. They also intended to make an official visit to Northern and Southern Rhodesia and Nyasaland. My father however discouraged Mrs Gandhi from making an official visit to Southern Rhodesia as the government was White dominated, which the Indian government was vehemently opposing. Once my father finalized the program with the concerned governments, he told me that I should talk to my Principal, Prof Adam, and find out whether I could take leave for a couple of days and join this trip. I was hoping that he would agree but I did not want to have high hopes. As I entered his room he smiled and asked me to take a seat. I felt a little reassured. When I put forward my request, there was an awkward silence for a minute after which he said, "Well, you know what, Shanthy, I think you should make this trip, because it will be of great experience for you." I said, "Thank you, Sir." He shook my hand and said, "Have a great trip and do let me know how it went, on your return." I was excited.

Lusaka Visit & Meetings with Mrs. Indira Gandhi

My parents flew a few days earlier to meet Mrs. Gandhi at Lusaka (Northern Rhodesia). Mr. Gaind, the Indian Press Attache, accompanied me, and our driver, John, drove us in the Benz car. When we arrived at the hotel, I was given a room next to my parents' while on the other side was Mrs. Gandhi's room. Once I was chatting in my parents' room when there was a knock on the door. My mother opened it, and Mrs. Gandhi stood there!

That night Prime Minister Kaunda was hosting a banquet in honor of Mrs. Gandhi, and she wanted my mother to choose a saree for her from the collection she had brought. Later my mother told me that when she had chosen a beautiful rich saree, she had said "Flora, you should remember I am a widow." When my mother told her that she was representing a great country, her eyes brightened and she agreed to wear it.

That night the hall was filled with diplomats, ministers, professionals and business tycoons. When Indira Gandhi entered everyone stood up. She looked elegant and beautiful. There were many speeches but when she stood up to talk, there was pin drop silence. Her words flowed effortlessly like a river, and her entire speech kept the audience spellbound. Everyone gave her a standing ovation at the end. ( Later, when I became Dean of Kothari Academy for Women, I used her speech as an example for good communication skills). The buffet that followed was unbelievable!

After Prime Minister Kaunda and the guests left, my parents and I moved to the lounge. Mrs. Gandhi and Mr. Dinesh Singh joined us for a cup of coffee. I found the conversation interesting as they discussed the political situation with my father. Mrs. Gandhi turned and signaled for me to sit next to her. She enquired about my experiences in college and what my future plan was. She patiently listened to me and also wrote in my autograph book, personalizing it with "To Shanti, with all good wishes" and signed in full, that is, Indira Gandhi.

The next day morning Mrs. Gandhi and my parents were to fly in a helicopter over the Victoria Falls to get a close view. I went along with my parents to drop them off at the airport. Mrs. Gandhi arrived in her car. When the time came to board the helicopter, she asked me why I was not joining them. The pilot explained to her that the helicopter could take only three passengers. She quickly turned round and told me, "Get back to the hotel and sit in your room balcony. I will request the pilot to fly past the hotel and I will wave to you." I did exactly that. Lo and behold! The chopper circled the hotel and she waved to me. That made the day for me.

Rajiv Gandhi and Sanjay Gandhi were youngsters, and it seems that they wanted to visit Southern Rhodesia and stay at our home. But their plans changed because the Ethiopian King Haile Selassie had extended his invitation to them to go hunting.

An Apartheid Showdown

My parents had to accompany Mrs. Gandhi to Nyasaland (Malawi). While we were driving back, Mr. Gaind suggested that we have a cup of coffee at a restaurant. It was run by a White man. As we walked in, the manager of the restaurant, a White gentleman, told us that we could sit in the porch. When Mr. Gaind questioned him why we could not sit in the empty dining hall, he replied rudely that it was only for the Whites. Mr. Gaind pointed to me and explained that I was the daughter of the Indian Commissioner posted to Central Africa. I had total diplomatic immunity and he had no right to impose apartheid. However, he would not relent and we decided not to have coffee there and drove back.

Another Meeting with Mrs. Indira Gandhi

On their return to India, Mrs. Gandhi and Mr. Dinesh Singh were transiting through Salisbury. My parents also arrived with them. At the airport the officers of the Indian High Commission, the Protocol Officer of the Southern Rhodesian government, Mr. Adam, and I were waiting in the VIP lounge for the flight to arrive. When the plane touched down, Mr. Adam escorted me to the plane. Mrs. Gandhi came down the steps and I was asked to pin a corsage made out of orchids on her. She smiled and thanked me. She then gave me a sweet smile and hugged me. Drinks and snacks had been organized in the lounge for them. Before they boarded the plane to leave for India, Mrs. Gandhi asked my father where he would like to be posted next. Without hesitation, he said, "Delhi". She was totally taken by surprise and said, "Pagal ho gaya kya?" (Have you gone mad?) I was shocked to learn that my parents were keen to get me married, for which posting in Delhi would be helpful.

Mrs. Gandhi's tour was widely reported around the world. In the 1960's it was the practice in Indian cinema theatres that before the movie started, there would be a news reel pertaining to current events. Many of our family and friends saw the coverage of the trip, with my parents and me appearing in them.

Party to Mauritius President

The next day my parents organized a party at home for the Mauritius President, Ramgulam (who had been a guest of President Kaunda), along with Robert Mugabe and Joshua Nkomo, both young freedom fighters in Southern Rhodesia. Later, Mr. Robert Mugabe became the President of Southern Rhodesia. It was interesting to listen to their impassioned aspirations for freedom from the White-dominated rule.

Reverberations of the Apartheid Showdown

A week after Mrs. Gandhi's visit, my father came back home from office. Something sensational had happened. Mr.Gaind, the Press Attache, who had travelled with me, had reported the event about the incident in the restaurant to the Indian government. This had roused speculation in the Indian Parliament and Nehruji, the Prime Minister of India, was questioned as to why the daughter of a Head of Missions was subjected to apartheid. Nehruji, in turn, had sent a strongly worded letter to the Government of Southern Rhodesia, asking them to take serious action. A copy was sent to my father.

Appearing in Court

Eventually the issue came up in court and I had to appear for enquiry. The Southern Rhodesian government asked for diplomatic immunity to be waived so that I could appear in court. The Government of India complied, with the enquiry scheduled for the following week. The court was about an hour's drive away and my father asked me to go there by myself. He assured me of my safety because the Southern Rhodesian government had promised full security. He also advised me that with the press around, I needed to be very careful in keeping my cool, not answering any of their questions and not crumbling under pressure.

Before I left for court my mother prayed for me. A car with security personnel followed us. When I arrived at the court, many personnel from the Press were awaiting my arrival, expectedly. The security swiftly escorted me into the court and I was surprised that I was the only one there. The Judge, a White gentleman, took his seat. The manager of the restaurant was asked to stand in the witness stand. The Judge asked me to narrate what exactly happened that day. Then he turned to the accused and asked him whether what I had said was true. He said "Yes." The Judge questioned him why he had refused us entry into the dining room even after being told that I was a diplomat's daughter and that I had diplomatic immunity. He replied by saying that it was the policy of the restaurant and he was just abiding by it. The Judge went at length to explain to him about diplomatic immunity. He asked him to apologize to me, and to pay a fine of 500 pounds to the court. When I stepped out of court, the Press tried to surround me. However, the security whisked me away to the car and I reached home.

Sensational News in the Media

A few days later this incident was announced in the BBC and in India. The newspapers carried a detailed account. The Tamil newspaper, Dina Thandi, reported that the High Commissioner's daughter, Shanthy Wilfred, had to remain hungry for many hours because of apartheid. My court appearance had become the scoop, and for weeks I was getting letters from unknown and known people informing me of what they had seen and read. My father kept receiving enquiries from the diplomatic fraternity from all over the world. I felt like an international figure!!! I learnt how powerful the Press was and the kind of diplomatic immunity that diplomats and their families enjoy. This news became the talk of my college and the diplomatic circles for weeks.

Mom Hosts Dinner for Dignitaries

My mother organized a big event, a dinner for high level dignitaries of various nations, with meticulous care in our house. Betty had the whole house cleaned up while Ragavan and Paul got busy cooking Indian dishes. My mother made lovely flower arrangements with purple agapanthus, white arum lilies, roses of every shade, multi-colored gerberas and dahlias, all from our garden plucked by our gardener. She placed them in crystal and exotic vases at strategic points in the house. Driver John helped extensively with the arrangements. Since the party was in the lawn, one area was earmarked for serving food. All the silver serving dishes and cutlery were brought out. Small tables covered with crisp white table cloth and chairs were arranged.. On every table for six, a small flower arrangement was placed. Food that was ordered – rotisserie chicken, baked fish, dinner rolls, salads and exotic desserts– arrived well in time while the choicest drinks were brought out.

That evening the small hillock on which our house was perched was abuzz with activity. Snaking their way up and making a pretty sight were the cars of dignitaries with the respective country flags fluttering on them. It looked no less than a United Nations function!

Prime Minister Ian Smith Arrives

The last to arrive for the dinner was Prime Minister Ian Smith. As he walked up the lawn, he saw that one of the dwarf rose plants was uprooted. To my surprise, he crouched down, gathered the soil with his hand and re-fixed the plant. I wondered: How can a Prime Minister, who seems to have such compassion for a plant, be so adamant that the country should be ruled by a White minority? How can such a man be so heartless as to suppress the Blacks in their own country? I thought I was probably witnessing the height of diplomacy in action.

Southern Rhodesia was a British Protectorate, and Prime Minister Ian Smith and his government were trying to defy the British to strengthen and establish the minority White rule. Lord Alport, the British High Commissioner, was trying to make polite conversation with him at the party. I noticed the German and French ambassadors exchanging some superficial talk. In those days, the relationship between China and India was strained. I could see my father going out of the way to please the Chinese Ambassador. The Japanese Ambassador was quietly observing all that was going on. Every conversation seemed politically correct! It had to be, after all. The Greek Ambassador, Mr. Paffitis, and his wife were also present at the party. They mingled well with all the guests. Mrs. Paffitis was a very beautiful Greek lady. I must mention that the Greek dishes that she would serve used to be highlights at their diplomatic parties.

My Table with British & French Emissaries' Daughters

The French Ambassador's daughter, Tootsie, the British Deputy High Commissioner's daughter, Diana and I sat together, and we had a nice time. Tootsie was a beautiful girl with typical French features and a model-like figure. One day she told me that her father had made it clear that once she was married, she needed to work out her marriage to be successful and not separate or try to come back home. I was surprised that such views existed in France. We also talked about how wonderful it would be to meet later in life. But unfortunately, it never happened.

Chance for Post-Grad Studies in London

In college, we heard that Prof Adam had been transferred to London University and was taking up an important position. I felt rather sad that he was leaving for good. He had been very encouraging and had helped me to change my subject from Chemistry to Geology. My parents invited him and his wife home for dinner. They brought a hamper of wine bottles, chocolates and goodies. While having dinner he asked me what my plans were once I finished my B.Sc. Degree. I told him I would love to do Masters in Microbiology when he unhesitatingly assured me of getting admission in London University. Further, things would be easy as my B.Sc. Degree was from the same university, he said. I was thrilled with his assurance.

Call from TV Station

One day there was a call from the local TV station to find out if I could appear on a program for a few minutes. They wanted me to be draped in a saree and demonstrate on another lady how to wear a saree. I was picked up from home and after a briefing by the show anchor and his lady assistant– both Whites– over coffee and cakes in the lounge, I was escorted to the studio. I carried out a demonstration on the lady assistant as I draped a saree over her dress! It was quite an interesting experience because it was for the first time that I was on a TV show. It was in 1963 when TV's had not entered the market in India.

Death of Personalities of International Stature

During my father's tenure in Central Africa, three important personalities of international stature passed away. One of them was Dag Hammarskjold, a Swedish diplomat who became one of the most powerful Secretary Generals of the United Nation Organization. He was on a peace mission to Africa and while flying over Congo, the plane crashed near Ndola (Zambia). He died under mysterious circumstances on 18 September 1961. It seems that there were eye witnesses who saw a second plane following his plane and shooting it. However, the media reported that it was an accident due to the pilot's fault!! It was a political move, meant to avoid political speculations and tension in the African countries. The diplomat's remains were brought to Salisbury and a memorial service was held for him. My parents attended it along with other international dignitaries and diplomats. The entire ceremony was telecast and I was able to watch it.

On 22 November 1963, John F Kennedy, the President of the United State of America, was shot dead by an assassin while his motorcade was driving through Dallas. The news stunned the world. JFK, as he was known popularly, was very popular back home in India. I remember some shops would display his picture to demonstrate the love and admiration they had for him. We watched the drama unfold by and by on TV. The country could not remain headless, that is, without a President. While her husband's body was being carried in a plane, Mrs. Jacqueline Kennedy, his wife, witnessed the swearing- in ceremony of Lyndon B Johnson in the same plane. It was heartrending to watch his young children in the funeral.

Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru's death on 27 May1964 was announced by the then Cabinet Minister, Subramaniam. He said "The Prime Minister is no more, the light is out." India's first Prime Minister, a freedom fighter and the one who laid the foundation for modern India, was no more. India was mourning a great leader, one who was internationally known and respected. Without losing any time, the TV crew came to my father's office as they wanted him to give a message on a live telecast. The message was mixed with emotion and words of praise for Nehruji's role and commitment during the struggle for the independence of India as well as for his aspirations for a modern India. It was indeed a great message. Later, my father received a copy of Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru's will. One wish that was expressed in it was that his ashes should be strewn in every nook and corner of the Indian soil.

All these numerous distractions had robbed me of my study time. My exams were drawing near. I was getting worried about completing the portions before the exams. I had to regain my focus on studies immediately. But when I went home for the weekend, my parents looked rather worried. That night, after dinner, my father told me something that shook me to the bone.

Shocking Political Turn in the Country

The British government was at loggerheads with Ian Smith's government who wanted to unilaterally declare independence, which meant that Rhodesia would no longer be a British Government Protectorate. In other words, Rhodesia was heading towards a complete White rule as in South Africa. My father advised the Government of India to close down the High Commission immediately as a protest against the Government of Southern Rhodesia. He explained to me that he had made all arrangements for closing down of the High Commission, and in a day or two, all the officials would be leaving the country. Both my parents would also have to leave in a week or so, and the packers would be coming in a few days' time. What followed shocked me even more.

My father said that since my exams were starting soon, I would have to stay back... in the hostel. The Southern Rhodesian government had promised complete security till I left the country. The day I proposed to leave, I would be personally escorted by the Security and the Protocol Officer to the airport.

The seriousness of the situation dawned on me. It was not as if I did not know about this political development, because Judy Todd had spoken to me about it. But, I had not realized then that it would affect me personally to this extent!!!!! Staying in a hostile country without my parents and taking up my final exams was too daunting. Moreover, my dream of receiving my Degree from Queen Mother (she was the Vice-Chancellor for our University) at the Graduation Ceremony was shattered. I really don't know how I managed to concentrate on my studies but I sailed through.

The officials and their families left for India while my father was busy with the winding up of the High Commission. The whole procedure took a few weeks and like a miracle, I completed my exams just a day before my parents were to leave. It must have been due to my dear mother's prayers. She must have been worried about leaving her daughter in a hostile country. For, there could be threat to my life, I could be kidnapped... the fears were manifold and not unfounded too. I learnt from my parents about the importance of resolute faith in God at all times, and my mother's complete acceptance of my father's official decisions.

Rhodesia Reminiscences and Departure

The three years of my stay in Rhodesia were rather eventful. I had made so many good friends that it was hard to bid goodbye to them. I had had enjoyable and memorable experiences at college and met many dignitaries, thanks to my father. Our domestic help Paul, John and Betty were extremely upset that we were leaving all too suddenly. It was an unexpected departure.

The VIP lounge at the airport was opened for us. Many friends and senior government officials came to bid goodbye to us. The Governor General Lord Dalhousie and his wife Lady Dalhousie had made it a point to be present at the airport. Drinks and snacks were served after which we wished our final goodbyes. The Protocol Officer and some government officials escorted us to the plane. As we walked closer to the aircraft, I realized that we were going to fly in a VC10. Having made its maiden flight in 1962 and its first international flight in April 1964, this particular model was in the news.. And, we were flying out from Africa in November 1964. The aircraft was unique in that it was supposed to have zero vision landing. The other feature was that it could take off at a very low speed. I realized this when we were air-borne and I had not felt the aircraft picking up speed at all. It was literally a vertical take-off. Our servant, Ragavan , looked petrified. Needless to say all the passengers felt the same way!

(A newspaper report about our arrival in Salisbury, Southern Rhodesia, saying "Flower and Peace have arrived")

(With my father in our Salisbury house garden, which had acres of fir trees, rare cacti, orchids and other flowers.The tennis court can be seen in the background)

(With my classmates at Queen Elizabeth School in Salisbury. Being the only non-White in an all Whites school, I had made history)

(First day at the University College of Rhodesia and Nyasaland, also reported in the newspaper. Seen here with a Chinese student, and a Faculty member pointing at the features of the library)

(My college mates, Sister Mary Cordula and Helga Bosch)

(First Geology field trip from college)

(Playing tennis, my favorite sport, at the court in our Salisbury house)

(Welcoming Mrs. Indira Gandhi at the Salisbury Airport with a bouquet and pinning a corsage on her. Seen in the back ground are Mr. Dinesh Singh, my mother and Mr. Adam, the Rhodesian Protocol Minister)

(A Tamil newspaper report about my being refused entry into a lounge of a Whites' restaurant. It made international news)

Chapter 12

GOODBYE TO MY DIPLOMATIC PASSPORT

My father's request to be posted to Delhi was readily granted. Our plane landed at Nairobi in Kenya. President Kenyatta, Head of the State, was one of the most powerful Presidents of Africa. On his instructions we were put up in a very beautiful hotel in Nairobi. His government organized not only a tour of the city but also a safari, close to Nairobi. It was nothing compared to what we had seen in Luangwa Valley. Yet it was lovely to watch the wild animals in their natural habitat. We stayed for two days in the hotel during which my father attended official meetings with the Kenyan officials.

My mother came up to my room, sat down next to me and told me something that I least expected. She informed me that, once we arrive in Madras, they would have to seriously look for a bridegroom for me. If everything worked out they would like to perform the wedding soon. I was speechless. I pulled myself together and asked my mother how they could take such a decision, when Prof Adam had promised to get me admission in London University to do Masters in Microbiology. Getting into a prestigious university like London University was the lot of an enviable few and I had been dreaming about it. My mother understood me. Nonetheless, she went at length to explain that it was their duty, as parents, to see me settled in life at the right age. She had thus felt that the Delhi posting would help in this regard.

My Wedding

When we landed in Madras , my life changed completely. I met my future husband, Pragal, after which we all returned to Delhi. We settled in the government quarters allotted to us. Both Pragal and I had a six months' courtship period. My father got my diplomatic passport cancelled, though I still keep it as a precious memento of having been a diplomat's daughter. My wedding was to be in Madras, and my parents had to make all arrangements from Delhi, which was a challenge, considering that communication facilities were not as efficient or fast as they are today.

I can never forget the advice my mother gave me the day before my wedding. She told me never to dwell on my past life, but to remember that it was God's grace and mercy that I could travel, meet many dignitaries and enjoy a life that many can't even dream of. She advised me to trust God in all circumstances. I always kept reminding myself of her advice. She also told me never to look down upon people of any kind, but to respect humanity.

My wedding took place in Madras on 21 June 1965. Mrs. Indira Gandhi was then the Prime Minister of India. To my surprise my father did not invite her. When I questioned him, his reply surprised me. A wedding, he said, is a very solemn ceremony, and he did not want the presence of a political figure shifting the focus away from reverence, which the occasion demanded. My father was a man of great principles.

Married Life and Blessings

I settled down to married life. My husband, parents-in-law, brothers-in-law and their families showed me a lot of love and respect. God blessed us with children, Preeth and Satish, and later, their lovely spouses, Pradeep and Shobana. We have been blessed with five loving grandchildren: Kisha, Neha, Nesan, Swarup and Shruthi.

Meeting Mrs. Indira Gandhi at a Wedding Reception

Mrs. Indira Gandhi has had a profound and lasting impression on me. When I was expecting my first daughter Preeth, I flew to Delhi for my confinement. Along with my parents, I attended the wedding of one of the Cabinet Minister's daughter. A large crowd of politicians and dignitaries was present. Suddenly there was some commotion, and I understood that Mrs. Indira Gandhi, the Prime Minister, had arrived. She wished the bride and the groom and started socializing with the guests. When she saw me, to my utter surprise she walked up to me and said. "You know, I was very angry with your parents for not inviting me to your wedding." She could see that I was in the family way, and asked me how I was doing. She inquired if I was going for long walks, eating fruits and vegetables, especially greens. I was amazed that though she was the most important and probably the busiest person in India, she found time not only to talk to me but also give me motherly advice. She spoke to my parents, looked at her watch, placed her hand gently on me and said, "All the best, have a safe confinement." She then added, "I must leave now because Rajiv and Sanjay are coming from England (they were studying in England then) and I promised them I will meet them at the airport." I thought that not only was she a great leader but a caring mother too. Though Mrs. Indira Gandhi was known as the only "Man among Men" in the political arena, she had not lost the sensitivity of a woman.

More Memories of Mrs. Indira Gandhi

Later when my father was posted to British Guyana as High Commissioner, my parents hosted a very big diplomatic party for Mrs. Indira Gandhi. I believe that my mother had placed an arrangement of hibiscus flowers which she had grown in her garden. The flowers were unique since they would change color as the evening progressed. Mrs. Gandhi noticed it and requested my mother to send her a plant. My mother got one through diplomatic sources and promptly sent it for her.

Mrs Gandhi considered my mother to be more of a friend than an Indian government official's wife. I have letters written by her to my mother. At the helm of affairs in a large democratic country like India, she must have been a very lonely woman and must have longed for genuine friendship. In fact, she had expressed it while having private conversations with my mother in Africa.

Chapter 13

MY FATHER'S RETIREMENT & A TERRIBLE TRAGEDY

Retirement & Return to India

In the year 1969, my father was due to retire. A month prior to it, my parents travelled to India from British Guyana. They were given a glorious send off at the airport.

After a short holiday at Miami, they proceeded to my maternal uncle, Vincent Harris's house in Baltimore. They recapitulated their life's journey together, and dreamt of their retired life in their dream-home at Kodaikanal, spending time with their granddaughter, Preeth and their grandchild to be born, Satish.

The Shattering Tragedy

My mother was having a great time with her brother. While watching the preliminary program about the launch of the Apollo spacecraft on the Moon, she suddenly collapsed. In spite of being rushed to hospital, she passed away within a few hours. My father was under great shock.

Prime Minister Indira Gandhi sent a telegram to my father conveying her deepest sympathy. On behalf of the Government of India, she offered to make all arrangements for my mother's body to be brought home to India. My father thanked her for her offer. He said he had decided to bury her in Baltimore because he wanted to spare me the trauma as I had been admitted to hospital for my second delivery. He, however, requested for my mother's belongings to be transported to India. The Prime Minister's Secretary who was holidaying in the US then organized for them to be handed over in Madras, India.

My mother's tragic end on her way to India hit international news. The church in Georgetown, British Guyana, where they had worshiped, organized a memorial service for her.

We received many condolence letters from Heads of States, dignitaries, friends and family from all over the world. One letter was specially addressed to me and that was from the maid, Betty that my mother had in British Guyana. She was an Afro-American and she had written a lovely letter. She said that my mother was the most gracious lady she had ever worked with. Though a lady of high position, she always thought of her granddaughter, for whom she had made Betty stitch many dresses. She was also extremely excited about her grandchild to come. Betty closed by saying that she would never forget her Ma'am in her life.

The Tragic News Withheld from Me Till after My Child's Birth

Under the advice of my doctor, my husband decided not to reveal my mother's death to me for ten days. I was totally devastated when Willie Uncle informed me. When my father flew back to India, my husband, Pragal, requested him to stay with us. It broke my heart to see my father without my mother though he found some solace in Satish. My dream of my mother taking care of me and my kids was shattered.

I can never forget my father's words that brought me back on track. He said, "Thank God for His blessings, for He gave us such a wonderful wife, mother and grandmother." He asked me to never question God in any circumstance. While it shook me to the bone, my father's faith in God strengthened me. Also unforgettable is the message he sent to the church in Guyana for the memorial service that they held for my mother. He said: "Flora journeyed with me in my life. But just like Moses who journeyed with the Israelites for forty years but was not allowed to enter the Promised Land, so also Flora was not allowed to enter her country which she so deeply loved."

Mrs. Indira Gandhi Remembers My Mother

Once he settled down in Madras, my father flew to Delhi to meet Mrs. Indira Gandhi in her official residence on a courtesy visit. Mrs. Gandhi pointed to the original African Drum that Mom had sent to her from Africa. She also walked him to the garden and showed him the hibiscus plant that she had sent from British Guyana. My father was deeply touched because the flowers were in full bloom and they reminded him of my mother a lot.

Mrs. Gandhi enquired about my mother and the circumstances that led to her death. Further, she offered him a senior posting in Nepal. She expressed that with all his experience, especially in Nepal, he was the right person for it. But my father politely declined the offer. Later, he told me that he could not take up such an important assignment without my mother.

One must learn to consciously put an end to all good things before they reach a blind end. I think the lesson I learnt from my father has helped me take vital decisions in my life. For example, Preeth and Pradeep had been blessed with three children after nine years. They were posted to Singapore when I had reached the peak in my career as Dean of Kothari Academy for Women. But I resigned and put an end to my very enjoyable and satisfying job to go to

Singapore and help Preeth by taking care of my grandchildren. I have not regretted that decision for even a day.

My Mother's Brief Delight with Granddaughter

I learnt from my mother what it takes to be a good grandmother. Even in the very short span of life that she had after my wedding, she taught me by example. In 1968, when they were still posted in British Guyana in South America, she flew to Madras all by herself, via USA and Russia to see her one and a half year old granddaughter, Preeth. She had never left my father alone, that too, to make such a long journey all by herself. She was to spend a night with the Kewalsinghs in Moscow as she knew them well from her Pondicherry days. He had been posted as the Indian Ambassador in Moscow.

An Indian official met her at the airport and gave the shocking news that Kewalsingh's son, Pugi, had died in a fire accident. We had all known Pugi well. My mother was driven straight to meet the bereaved parents at their house where she learnt that probably Pugi was smoking in bed, which had caught fire leading to his death. The parents were devastated. The Indian Embassy had made arrangements for my mother to stay in a hotel before she flew the next day to Madras. She told me how horrible she felt, especially because she had spent a lonely night in the hotel. She confided that only the thought of seeing her granddaughter kept her focused on her trip to Madras.

She looked lovely in a pink saree and accessories as she alighted from the aircraft. Having planned a 3- week visit with us, she spent every minute of her time with Preeth. We were living in a very small house and she insisted on doing everything for her: bathing, feeding, playing , singing...every activity revolved round her granddaughter. She had come just after hosting a grand party for Prime Minister Indira Gandhi at home in British Guyana. When our friends and relatives saw the photographs they could not believe that the same dignitary's wife was now a doting grandmother with a totally domesticated attitude.

On the day she was to return to British Guyana, she was rather quiet. At the airport she carried Preeth till the last minute before she boarded the plane. As she walked to the plane, she kept looking back. In those days there was a viewing point, like a balcony or a gallery, from where one could see the dear ones board the plane. That scene haunted me for many years because I never saw her again.

Remembering My Parents

Going over my life's journey as a diplomat's daughter, I realize that the lessons I have learnt from my parents are priceless. Their life was a journey of faith, complete faith in God. When I was doing my MBA in the year 1993, one of the seminars was on "Making Use of Opportunities". Some of the lessons my father had taught me were that there is absolutely no substitute for hard work and that one must grab opportunities when they come by, for they don't have a "next time". I always remember it though I neither understood nor appreciated it then when I was very young. My parents demonstrated the importance they gave to education by making innumerable sacrifices so that we, the children, could enjoy a secure future.

(My parents hosted a party in their official residence in honour of Prime Minister Mrs. Indira Gandhi's visit to British Guyana. Gopal, our Indian cook from India serves her snacks. Mrs. Gandhi is fascinated by the miracle Hibiscus that my mom grew in her garden)

Chapter 14

RARE MEMORIES OF A DIPLOMAT'S DAUGHTER

As a diplomat's daughter as well as later in life, God blessed me with rare memories and experiences which have taught me many invaluable lessons, and got me in touch with many eminent people. I have recounted my interactions with Mrs. Indira Gandhi and many others in the previous pages of this book. I wish to close by sharing my experiences with a few others, including some members of my family.

Mother Teresa

I had the privilege of becoming the Secretary of the Co-workers of Mother Teresa through Mrs. Regina Vincent who was the President then. Mrs. Vincent called once to tell me that Mother Teresa was in town, and that she had called for a Meeting of the Co-workers of Mother Teresa of whom I was the Secretary.

The Co-workers of Mother Theresa were a band of lay women who raised money, visited her homes for the destitute, and in general, supported her noble cause. I was excited at the prospect of meeting this noble and selfless lady. A few months earlier, she had received the Nobel Prize for Peace. When I arrived in Sishu Bhavan, one of her homes for destitute children, I was told that she was in the kitchen. I was taken aback to see her seated on the floor, one leg stretched out and rolling chapattis for the inmates. She gave me a smile and said, "I will be there in a few minutes." She called out for a Sister to put out some benches for the meeting. The Sisters told me that she had surprised them in the morning by arriving from Calcutta and from the station to the home in a cycle rickshaw!

To my pleasant surprise and great excitement, she sat next to me. We started as usual with her favorite Francis Assisi's Prayer, "Make me a Channel of your Peace". She gently put her hand on my lap and asked me, "What is your name, child?" When I said, "Shanthy," she replied, "It is my favorite name." I always felt that my name was very common, but from that day it became special to me. Without wasting any time, she started teaching us how to make small packets with old newspapers and to dispense tablets for leprosy patients. She encouraged our children, Preeth and Satish , and many others to make them. She explained how we could clothe many people if every time we bought a saree, we put away a small percentage for charity. She always believed that small sacrifices made by many can make a big difference to the poor and the needy.

She had a sense of humor too. One of the Co-workers said, "Mother, don't you think we are spoiling the poor for dishing out food and clothes to them?" Her quick retort with a twinkle in her eyes and a smile on her face was, "Well, the rich are being pampered all the time; it is ok to pamper the poor once in a while." We all could not but laugh.

It was my good fortune to enjoy the opportunity to meet her several times in my life. Once, with the permission of Mother Teresa, our team organized a Charity Show to raise money for the poor. I remember meeting the famous actor Kamal Hasan and singer Ilayaraja to request them to perform on the occasion. When they heard that it was in aid of Mother Teresa's Missionaries of Charity, they jumped at the idea and accepted to do it free of cost. We raised a sizeable amount. When Mother Teresa was in town, I met her in Mrs. Vincent's house and handed over the money to her. She was extremely happy and appreciated the efforts we had made.

Prime Minister Kaunda of Zambia

President Kaunda of Zambia amazed me. During the period of three years that my father was posted in Central Africa, I had met him when he was living in a small hut. But within the period of our stay, he rose to become the President of the country and moved into the Presidential Palace. Such grit, conviction and perseverance are virtues worth emulating.

Studying in various countries, particularly in a German medium school and doing all the subjects like Math, Science, History, Geography and even French in German, interacting with international students and experiencing many cultures have broadened my outlook in life.

Judy Todd was a person who gave up her youth for the cause of the Africans. Though she was a White girl she fought for the Africans. In spite of having been treated badly by those for whom she fought, she still strives for their well-being, even today. I feel proud to have known Judy Todd and her parents. Sir Garfield Todd, her father and her mother had worked for the welfare of the underprivileged and downtrodden Africans, expecting absolutely nothing in return. They also donated their vast lands for their welfare.

Kothari Academy for Women: Mr. Kothari and Prof Govindarajan

Mr B K Kothari, the Chairman of Kothari Academy for Women and, Prof S R Govindarajan, the Director of the Academy, are people who have impacted my life. Mr Kothari who had had a humble beginning and was uneducated, rose to riches and started a high level educational institution for women. He received immeasurable help from a well-educated gentleman, M. Govindarajan, who in turn, brought the concept of a Community College, probably the first of its kind in South India, in collaboration with Conestoga Community College, Canada.

I learnt a lot from Prof Govindarajan. He strongly believed that higher education should be made affordable to all. His command of English was unbelievable. He had a plaque in the front office with a saying which read "Life is God's gift to you and what you make of it is your gift to God." I enjoyed my stint in Kothari Academy. The faculty, the other staff and students made it very memorable for me. I would jokingly say that I was getting paid for my enjoyment.

My Husband, Pragal

When my mother passed away, my father was devastated and it was at this point that my husband Pragal invited him to stay with us. Pragal looked after my father like he was his own father. When people questioned him whether my father was living with us he would quickly respond, "We are living with him." He never made him feel uncomfortable in our house. I am ever grateful to him for all the care , love and affection he gave my father. My father lived with us for 21 years till he passed away in the year 1990. Since Satish was a baby, his life revolved round him and Preeth. Giving prime importance to family, Pragal actually "Walked the Talk."

My Father-in-Law

My Father-in law, Mr. Monsingh saw to it that all his five sons were well educated. He was a man of great engineering ideas. His sons, Prabhu, Pragal, Prasad and Premil, were engineers and Prakash, a doctor. When my son Satish returned from the US after completing his MS in Engineering, he had a little chat with my father-in-law after which he remarked, "I thought I knew a lot after completion of my MS, but when Thatha asked me a few engineering related questions, I realized how little I knew."

When he lived with us after my mother-in-law's death, he was very happy that I was doing MBA at the age of 54. He would not only encourage me but would question me on various subjects and have intense discussions. I loved the time I spent with him. He strongly believed that one could keep studying and learning at any age.

My Mother-in-Law, Mrs. Sagunabhai Monsingh

My mother-in-law, Mrs. Sagunabhai Monsingh, was stricken by arthritis at a very young age. In spite of limited mobility and later confined to sitting in one place, she achieved a lot. She was a great writer. Many of her short stories have been published in many prestigious magazines, both in English and Tamil. Single handedly she published a Cookery Book which got reviewed very well in most popular papers and magazines. Her dream was to see that one of the stories would be made into a movie. With this plan in mind, she had written a very gripping murder story. She would even write the Engineering course notes for her children.

In spite of her painful arthritis, she never lost her faith in herself and trust in God. She wrote regularly in Christian magazines, and instilled Christian values in her children and grandchildren. She had two major operations for hip replacement, and I had the opportunity of staying with her in hospital. Her tolerance for pain and her complete obedience to the doctor's instructions were something that was truly exemplary and an eye opener for me. I learnt from her that a woman can achieve much if only one has faith and determination. I feel that if she had lived in these days and age, she would have reached even greater heights.

My Younger Brother, Mathuram

My younger brother, Mathuram, was only 5 years old when we lived in Nepal. Whenever my mother spotted urchins during her walks with him, she would tell him that he should become a doctor and help poor children. Today, his hard work and research in the field of Pediatrics has enabled him to achieve much, helping millions of children all over the world. This has also been possible due to the prayers of our parents and grandparents, the support of his wife, Patsy, and children, Vasanth and Sherene. Pragal and I were privileged to be present when he received the Sabin Award at a function in Bethesda, Maryland.

Many eminent people spoke of him as a great doctor and a human being. George J Dover MD, Professor and Director Pediatrics , Johns Hopkins, walked up to me and said " You must be Mathu's sister. I want to tell you I deem it a great privilege not only knowing him as a great doctor, but as a friend too. He is one of the greatest and most humble men that I have met." Well, that said it all. I am sure my mother would have been really proud of him. He also received the Fries Award, a prestigious recognition given to people who have impacted global health.

My Elder Brother, Viji

My elder brother, Viji, struggled through his school days though my father was always confident that one day he would make it big. And, he did. He completed his Doctorate in Aeronautical Engineering in Canada and held many important posts in that country. Finally, he worked for the Ministry of International Trade, Canada, and held the prestigious position of Executive Director for International Operations. He represented Canada in different countries including India. Once when I wasn't sure of completing this book , it was Viji's advice that encouraged me. He said, "God could have taken the Israelites to the Promised Land at a short time, but they had to travel 40 years to achieve the goal. So you should not worry. Just keep going."

With many more fruitful years still lying ahead of him, we lost him in 2014 due to an accident.

Remembering My Parents Over and Over Again

Not a day goes by without my thinking of my parents. Though my parents are no more, all three of us siblings and our families, living in three different countries , Canada, USA and India , have remained connected through the love and family values which our parents had instilled in us. This is another of the numerous things for which I am very grateful to my parents.

I hope and pray that my grandchildren will gain something from the legacy that has been passed on from their great grandparents, John and Flora Wilfred Santosham, which is sure to help them in their life.

(Seen with Governor Patwari and Bishop Sunder Clarke at the exhibition, Wonder through Flowers, organised by Church of South India)

  (On the dias at a function as Dean of Kothari Academy, with Chairman, Mr.B K Kothari, Director, S R Govindarajan and the Chief Guest )

(Seen with the Faculty of Conestoga College, Canada, which I was invited to. Kothari Academy had an academic collaboration with the college)

Opening a Garments Department

Seen with the famous actress Hemamalini at an Academy Function

(Seen with the famous actress, Hema Malini at a Kothari Academy function)

Family Photograph, 2013

Standing [L–R] : Satish, Pragal, Pradeep

Sitting [L–R]:Swarup, Neha, Shobhana, Self, Preeth, Kisha, Nesan

Sitting on the floor: Shruthi

About the Author

Shanthy Pragalsingh is the daughter of John and Flora Wilfred Santosham and was born in Vellore, India. She has two siblings, Dr. Tom Vijay Kumar Santosham and Dr. Mathuram Santosham. She is married to Pragalsingh and has two children. Her daughter Preeth is married to Pradeep David and her son Satish is married to Shobana Richardson. She has five grandchildren: Kisha, Neha, Nesan, Swarup and Shruthi.

As a diplomat's daughter, she travelled widely and studied in India, Germany, Sri Lanka and Southern Rhodesia. She has a Bachelor's Degree in Science from London University and an MBA from Newport University, USA.

Positions held:

  * Dean of Kothari Academy for Women

  * Member, Editorial Board at The Guardian ( a newspaper)

  * Assistant sConvener, CSI Women's Board, Diocese of Madras

  * Secretary, Co-workers of Mother Teresa

  * Committee Member, YWCA Chennai

S hanthy Pragalsingh gives us a glimpse of her amazing life as the daughter of an Indian Diplomat. Join her incredible journey which begins after India gained Independence and the Indian Foreign Service was being formed. She travelled widely, living in different countries at historical times, for example, when Nepal was at the pinnacle of change. She pursued her education in different countries, learning different languages. Her experiences are rich and varied, ranging from being carried in a Dandy to cross the mountains to living in Post- war Germany and being witness to its revival and emergence as modern Germany. She was also witness to the brewing Tamil Tiger problem and Prime Minister Bandaranaike being shot by a Buddhist monk. She keenly observed Northern Rhodesia's independence struggle against the British and the establishment of Independent Zambia with Mr. Kaunda as its President. She was once a victim of apartheid and the Indian Government opposed and enforced diplomatic immunity in her support , startling Prime Minister Ian Smith. The book highlights her meeting with dignitaries like Mrs. Indira Gandhi, Mr. Ian Smith, Mr. Kenneth Kaunda, and many more. Learn about her past struggles and how she overcame many barriers. This documentation of a diplomat's daughter makes a fascinating read for all ages.

For any comments / suggestions, e-mail her at

pragalshanthy@gmail.com

108

