• From almost firing an arrow at a baby’s
head to almost boarding an exploding bus,
the Planet Dolan crew re-enact more of the
best true stories from our subreddit about
the worst incidents you narrowly avoided.
I’m Danger Dolan and
today I’ll be your narrator.
Number 10 was submitted by ChronoGamer1234567
Kyle
This story proves Kyle wasn’t always a sharp-shooting
badass. As a kid he spent the weekend at a
boy scout shooting campout where he and four
others got to shoot clay targets. When Kyle’s
turn came to shoot the shotgun he shouted
“Pull!” and the manager launched a clay
target into the sky. As he went to shoot,
Kyle’s finger slipped and he accidentally
switched the gun to safety mode. Seeing that
it didn’t fire, Kyle decided it would be
a good idea to look down the barrel and pull
the trigger a few times. While doing this,
he accidentally switched the safety off and
the gun fired! Luckily he didn’t blow his
whole fucking face off, but he did lose a
few hairs.
Number 9 was submitted by t-zogaming Dolan’s
Brother
When my brother was eight years old his friends
found some military backpacks by a pond. They
thought this was the greatest thing that had
ever happened and emptied out all the contents
on the curb. My brother was a bit nervous
about this. From a safe distance he saw a
lot of live heavy machine gun ammo and a bag
full of smaller-calibre ammo. He was happy
to let them play with this stuff – until
he saw one of them pull out some homemade
hand grenades! When they asked him to come
play with them, my brother quickly said “I,
err, have to go to the bathroom…” Once
he’d lost sight of them he started running
home to tell his dad. Our dad and a couple
of neighbours soon came to investigate. The
police came and told them the stash they’d
found was actually terrorist-made weapons.
It was super lucky they found it as they most
likely prevented a serious tragedy.
Number 8 was submitted by LadyDrea Pandora
When Pandora was in middle school students
would often play baseball for gym class. But
Pandora and her friends didn’t really like
baseball so they often sat on the bleachers
instead. On this particular day Pandora was
reading her favourite manga while the girls
watched the game. Suddenly one of them let
out a blood-curdling scream and leapt up off
the bleachers. Pandora spun around and shouted
“What’s the matter??” While her back
was turned a baseball came flying past her
head and crashed into the bleachers. She was
like an inch away from an instant concussion.
After this near-miss Pandora tried to go back
to reading her manga, but her heart would
not stop racing.
Number 7 was submitted by J_GAMER_X_thestorm55
Shima
When Shima was little she went to a party
that had a jumping castle. She was having
lots of fun jumping around – until a few
older people came in for a bounce. Unfortunately
they were too heavy and the jumping castle
ended up deflating very quickly. Shima couldn’t
get out in time and ended up getting stuck
right in the back corner, where the wall and
floor joined. She couldn’t get out and the
heavy rubber was stuck right in her face.
Shima cried out, thinking she was going to
suffocate, but no one could hear her. Luckily
someone the jumping castle reinflated it with
a pump, but it was a close call!
Number 6 was submitted by screweyempress Hellbent
One day Hellbent was planning a trip to London
to see his mother. He planned to take a train
and a bus to get there, but just as he was
about to leave his mother called. She told
him she’d picked up the norovirus while
on her cruise and that he shouldn’t bother
coming to see her until she was better. So
Hellbent stayed home.
Later that night he was watching TV when his
mum called in a panic. She told him to put
the news on. He changed channels and they
were both shocked. The bus Hellbent would
have caught was blown up in a terrorist attack.
If his mother hadn’t gotten sick from her
cruise he would’ve been on that bus at that
exact time…
Number 5 was submitted by Benmac2112 Slapped
Ham
When Slapped Ham was ten years old he and
his younger brother got their hooves on a
small bow and arrow. Naturally, they went
out shooting the arrow at whatever they could
find! One of them soon had the brilliant idea
to shoot the arrow up into the sky to see
how high they could get it.
As they lining up their shot, Slapped Ham’s
three-year-old brother came outside to see
what they were doing. The arrow launched up
into the air and came soaring back down. It
landed just three inches from Slapped Ham’s
baby brother. If the wind had carried it just
a little further it would have hit him straight
on the top of his head and probably killed
him.
Slapped Ham decided to stop after that. He
still hasn’t told his mother to this day.
Number 4 was submitted by IgorImmortal Pringle
One time Pringle went for a drive to see his
mom for Mother’s Day. He was going seventy
miles per hour down the highway. A left turn
overlooking a cliff was approaching. Pringle
was preparing to take the turn when he suddenly
lost a wheel! Not a tyre, a wheel. He watched
it roll away in his passenger side mirror.
He’s not sure what black magic caused it,
but Pringle managed to turn the car and stop
seconds before the edge of the cliff.
Number 3 was submitted by BaconBoss1231 Nixxiom
One day Nixxiom went to his friend’s house
to play kickball in their huge backyard. The
friend lived between two train stations so
there were train tracks just outside the fence.
Nixxiom and his friends were having heaps
of fun until Nixxiom accidentally kicked the
ball over the fence. He volunteered to go
get it and climbed the fence. However, he
was in such a rush that he didn’t notice
the oncoming train. He grabbed the ball just
as his friend shouted “Train!”
Nixxiom couldn’t see it but he could hear
the train was really close. He threw the ball
over the fence and climbed back into his friend’s
backyard as quickly as possible, spraining
his ankle in the process. Other than his ankle
and some scratches, Nixxiom was unharmed but
it could’ve been much worse. Since then
whenever the ball went over the fence they
left it. They ended up losing five balls this
way.
Number 2 was submitted by RennisTora Emojie
When Emojie was five years old his dad worked
in a scrapyard. His parents considered it
safe so Emojie and his brother hung out there
all the time. One day Emojie decided to climb
behind the wheel of a big old tow truck from
1927 that had always been there at the back
of the yard. It had a push-button start and
a button on the floor for gas. Like any child,
Emojie started pushing things and making noises,
pretending he was driving. Suddenly the truck,
which had been sitting there for twenty to
thirty years, just up and started! It was
still in gear from when it was parked.
Emojie’s dad heard a loud bang from across
the yard and ran over to see what had happened.
He found Emojie sitting behind the wheel of
a tow truck that had backed halfway up a tree.
The tree overlooked a one hundred-foot cliff
edge and was the only thing stopping the truck
and its passenger from going over.
Number 1 – What’s the worst incident that
I narrowly avoided?
Huge thanks for the folks over
on our Planet Dolan subreddit for submitting
their stories. We have another question for
you: “What’s the weirdest thing a member
of your family does?” Let us know in the
Reddit page linked below and you might be
featured in a future countdown.
