'Obviously we're all here for the same
thing.'
Welcome Back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World.
‘I didn’t come here just to listen to you feeble attempts at humour’
We’re back with another borderline inexplicable film from the world of Indonesian fantasy.
‘Watch as our Queen rises from the water’
This is the crocodile Queen, a monarch who demands young men from local villages,
to satisfy her voracious sexual appetite.
Alright, let’s get to work.
But one village has failed to deliver and the Queen summons her servant Banu-Jaga.
‘Arise Banu-jaga’
who heads off to stop the wedding of the Queen’s chosen man.
Riding on a boulder.
The man knows how to make an entrance,
and how to slaughter a village.
Not even sure what happened there. This is the first of many long fight scenes involving decapitation,
a magic umbrella,
and everyone waiting their turn to attack rather than going in at once.
Fortunately, our hero Mandala now arrives, just in time to save almost nobody.
Mandala and Banu-jaga had the same guru, and I’m guessing the same tailor and hairdresser,
'if you are just passing through, it would be wise of you not to interfere.'
and the fight is on again.
‘Mm, crocodile men’
To cut a long fight short, Banu-jaga grabs groom, Sanjaya,
and takes him back to the Queen,
where he will be forced to have sex in a revolving fire cauldron,
until she tires of him, at which point...
There’s actually plenty of other girls, it’s kind of a non-stop party.
‘You nymphomaniac’
There is a vague suggestion that the Queen will drain the youth of these men...
‘And she’ll rob you of your youth’
but it’s really not elaborated on enough to justify the terrible fate that this is painted as.
Meanwhile Mandala goes to visit his guru.
‘They attacked me with the poison of the red snake’
Mandala seeks a cure.
Now those are magic mushrooms,
and once the guru is healed,
‘The only way that I can do it is to cut off both your legs, otherwise the infection will spread and kill you’
more or less, he explains that he was attacked by Banu-jaga and a man with a decapitating hat,
who are searching for the devil’s sword.
‘If they should ever learn the secret of the sword, the world as we know it will end’
So, with the help of Sanjaya’s fiancée, warrior woman Pitaloka, Mandala sets out,
via a scene lifted from Clash of the Titans.
‘There, it looks like a raft is approaching’
like shot for shot,
until the crocodile men.
Now, when the guru was attacked,
‘Ha, ha ha, ha. You see, all the evils warriors of the world are united’
all four of them, but now...
‘It seems that the evil warriors are no longer united’
They’re unwilling to share the devil’s sword and indulge in some killer trash talk.
‘You polluted bitch hound’
‘You smell worse than death itself’
‘Baldie’
It’s not all gold. This is followed by another very long fight, and just when you think it’s over,
it turns out not to be.
Banu-jaga wins, but by now Mandala is in the cave of the sword, encountering dangers of his own.
The cyclops is a little ropey in close up, but in medium shot.
It’s ridiculous. Mandala gets the sword but Banu-jaga is waiting for him.
‘Hand the sword over to me or I’ll kill this girl’
Oh good, a fight scene.
Didn’t expect that, but by far the best move comes from Pitaloka.
Ahh! My nipples!
‘Mandala, you shall taste my revenge’
Banu-jaga loses and must face the wrath of the crocodile Queen.
Which he accepts with dignity.
’Majesty? How come? You bitch’
Now Mandala and Pitaloka go to rescue Sanjaya, but there’s a problem.
‘Sanjaya, what is this?’
Awkward.
‘Sanjaya you have a lot of explaining to do when this is all over’
Just wait till I get you home.
Pitaloka is captured while Mandala falls prey to the Queen’s magic,
and is saved by his guru.
‘She is the devil in disguise’
Thanks Elvis,
What he just gets the sword and leaves? Naturally there’s another fight before the end,
and the Queen is stripped of her youth.
I don’t know what to say about this one, it’s not a good film.
'You ignorant bastard.'
But calling it a bad one would be harsh when it’s this entertaining.
I just wish they’d cut down the fights a bit.
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Fight scenes are supposed to add energy, in what films, other than this one, do they do the opposite, sucking the pace out of a movie.
Let us know in the comments below.
'You bastards get out of here.'
