NARRATOR:
Our two contestants, both evil dictators with the will to conquer Korea.
That's right. Kim Il Sung and Syngman Rhee,
respectively ruling the North and South.
Let the WAR begin...
*Rap Battle Intro Music*
*Transition into Kim Il Sung main beat*
My name is Kim Il Sung,
if you don't already know.
I knocked your army to Pusan in a-single-blow.
I am the 'Great Leader',
at least that's what they call me.
Both those words in that name is something you can never be--
--and I know that your sad,
and I know that your mad,
but the truth is unavoidable -->
even I'm the better dad!
Oh!
I bet that hit a nerve!!
How does it feel that you just! Got! Served!
You talk about your strength but here's the real stitch-
Without America rescue you're just a weak little b----!
You think America cares about your country;
what a joke!
All they care is about taking down Russia.
We had skirmish after skirmish, and all you did was nothing.
But when we launched our real attack you acted like it was stunning?
You’re either crazy, stupid, inept, or all three.
But what else can you expect from wittle baby Syngman Rhee.
*Narration Music/Transition Theme*
Narrator: Some low blows there, but that’s expected. Doesn’t mean it’s not true.
Kim Il Sung’s army did indeed attack South Korea with support from Russia on June 25, 1950.
Their army pushed the US and South Korean troops all the way towards the port city of Pusan.
The Americans and South Koreans held that place and formed what we now call the Pusan Perimeter.
The US pleaded to the UN and they sent a small UN force towards Pusan, albeit made mostly of US and South Korean forces.
Oh, and that comment about the dad?
Kim Il Sung had like 3 kids and Rhee’s kids died.
Syngman Rhee: Yo, DJ, give me a Beat.
Syngman Rhee on the mic.
Narrator: And it is true that a big reason why the US helped South Korea in the first place is because they didn't want-
-communism to spread. I wo-
Syngman Rhee: Yeah.
-onder oh. Okay. Just cut me off.
*Syngman Rhee Rap Theme Intro Transition*
*S-man's theme*
Kim Il Sung, you are just not credible. Rhyme are so bad, they're all just terrible. All of your insults are indefensible
All of your insults are indefensible.
You'll back out of the rap and this war if you're sensible.
I'm the best there is without a doubt. There is no question.
Now it's time for you to get clinical depression.
You talk about your military brilliance but you've got none.
Without big daddy Russia, you've got absolutely no one.
You talk about an 'us' with your Communism.
But when push comes to shove, you'll be alone as a victim.
To Russia you're a tool and to China you're a buffer.
All you've ever done is be a mother fu***** sucker.
You preach Korea’s union through your great ‘Heroic Struggle"’.
We all know your army will fail, crash, and crumble.
You pushed us to Pusan, but we pushed back to the Yalu.
All in all, we can do anything better than you do.
*Who Won!? Who's Next?! You decide!!!!*
(*JK It's not over)*
Done?All right.
Let's see.
In September, the UN troops landed around the port of Inch’on,
behind enemy lines, quickly cutting off Korea’s North-South rail lines therefore cutting off transportation of food and ammunition.
North Korean forces in south soon surrendered.
In November, UN forces advanced to Yalu River, along the Chinese border.
Late November, Mao Zedong,
the Chinese Communist leader,
sent hundreds of thousands of Chinese troops to help the North Koreans,
and they forced the UN to the south of the 38th parallel.
**Okay. Now it's over. Time for our Prez**
