so Tati Westbrook just made a video
discussing everything that went down
with James Charles and this might be the
final nail in the coffin and we
definitely definitely need to talk about
this and see what lessons we can learn
from it take a look at the YouTube
community whether it's the drama going
on or just and I try to take this mess
and turn it into a message because what
good is consuming all of this drama or
all of this content if we're not seeing
how we can apply it to our own lives so
if you're into that stuff make sure you
subscribe and bring that notification
bow so yeah talk to us we'll just
release her video the first thing I want
to address I stand by what I said and
talk to you Westbrook agrees like what I
said originally was like we just live in
this weird time where we we feel this
need to make everything public and
they're like it's just strange like
because Tati and James were friends
right like why don't you just like call
him or message him or whatever it's a yo
dude I was hurt by this situation so in
her video she says this so what you guys
saw on that IG story that happens like
that happens to so many of us like we
let our emotions lead because we're
creatives and you have access to this
piece of technology that allows you to
express you know so widely and so
quickly I'm a really really big believer
in hitting the pause button thinking
things through in that moment I didn't
so here we are and I'm gonna talk about
it all and yet looking back in hindsight
like she even acknowledges that she
should have handled it a different way
and she's been since later on in the
video like as she mentors other people
like James tall's she tries to talk to
and like help-help them not make
something like impulsive bad decisions
or to reflect on situations and learn
from them so yeah like let's let's talk
about this situation and it definitely
opened up my eyes but you guys like
here's the thing why why am I talking
about drama why do I talk about drama
because here's the problem in this whole
situation the way I see it I imagine the
millions of millions of millions of
people who are gonna watch this video
watch videos on this all sorts of stuff
and we're just sitting there just like
eating the popcorn or sipping on the tea
and we're taking sides like team James
or team toddy right but like escapism is
good but how is this affecting your own
life right like what Tati and James's
goings are going through like this is
something that happens to me it happens
to you happens to all of us so as we
look at it we need to kind of look at it
and say okay what can I take from this
what can I learn from this situation
alright so talk to Westbrook she was she
was kind of innovative to make this
video
especially after Gabriel's some more I
made some videos about her and
everything and tell me what's what kind
of like explains at the beginning of
this video like obviously looking in
hindsight maybe she shouldn't have done
that
that Instagram story but now now like
you know the the box is open right like
this is started like and hey you might
as well dive into it but like some of us
have been in this situation before and
this is something that I recommend and
I'm a licensed therapist for
psychologists or anything I have my own
background with mental health issues
codependency I've worked in addiction
treatment center all sorts of stuff am i
so talking about codependency I don't
necessarily think this is a bad idea
like basically what talked to us were
dead in this like she was like I am done
I am done I'm gonna sit down and make
this video and go over all of it she
even mentions that like she is done with
this friendship with this relationship
maybe in the future like like I don't I
don't personally believe that anybody
really like there are some very specific
cases like of terrible terrible awful
things right like murder
you know like murder maybe
forgive the person but James Falls is 19
so like maybe in a year or two when he
pulls his head out of his young ass and
figures out what he's doing with his
life how he's just walked over people
used people manipulating people maybe if
he grows and learns from this maybe him
the stalks he can have a relationship
again but it's going to take like a real
serious apology it's going to take like
the real showing of remorse you know but
if you're somebody who's in somewhat of
a codependent relationship or just even
a constant relationship like I don't
recommend like making a youtube video
and like going nuts on it but sometimes
you got to drop that nuclear bomb just
so you can be done with it well I just
so you can get out of that relationship
and I feel that's what Tati did in this
situation so basically throughout this
this video Tati explains how this wasn't
just it wasn't just that James Charles
did this endorsement for sugarbear hair
like that was just that was just the
straw that broke the camel's back and
she goes on through this thing and man
man can i I empathize with taki
Westbrook in this situation well she
talks about how their relationship
wasn't transactional all she did was
give and give and give and try to help
and try to support right and something
that I often talk about is self-seeking
like we do things for other people
without expecting anything in return
and it seems like Tati was really being
selfless in this situation just giving
to James trying to promote James Charles
trying to build him up trying to do all
of this and it sounds like she was
pretty cool with it
when James Charles like recognized you
know who was audience and who was
demographic is and why he wasn't gonna
promote halo beauty and all that but it
felt like such a stab in the back when
he went on and did this for sugar bear
hair because he had already told Tati
that he doesn't he doesn't want to
promote products like that right but
like just imagine imagine like push
yourself and talk to shoes for just a
minute and imagine being there for
somebody like this is one of the reasons
why I can imagine a parent you know if
their child did something just just so
awful to them right like
you've done so much for them you know
what I mean so it's not a situation she
wasn't giving expecting anything in
return and a lot of us do that but that
doesn't mean it doesn't hurt it doesn't
mean that it doesn't hurt when that
person turns against you so for me for
me not only am i father but my son's
only ten he hasn't gotten to the age
where he's like can really screw me over
yet but in my addiction recovery this is
something that's happened to me before
right because I come from a 12-step
background where we're taught like once
you get this thing once you get this
sobriety thing you help others I have
found my life's purpose through helping
others just giving freely of myself just
sharing my experience teaching others
what I have learned as a part of my own
addiction recovery a part of my own
mental health recovery a part of my own
like overcoming getting out of toxic
relationships and my issues from
childhood and trauma and all these other
things
I give that freely to other people but
in addiction recovery we we see this
happen and I have had people who I have
done nothing but give to write like not
only have I given to them but they they
don't have anything to offer me in
return
there's no transaction available
especially when you're dealing an
addiction recovery and this isn't a
knock at people who are newly sober it's
just the truth like when I first got
sober I have like 3 pairs of clothes no
money my life was a mess I was a mess
right like everybody who is helping me I
had nothing to give them so when I'm
helping others who just newly gets sober
like what are they gonna give me they
have nothing to give me and that's cool
I don't need anything from them I get
joy out of not only being the
opportunity to help them by sharing my
experience but I get joy from seeing
that evolution and don't get me wrong I
have worked with countless people like
at the drug addiction treatments and I
was working at I work with thousands of
people and so many of them were doing
well and the brightest part of my day is
with any of my old clients get a hold of
me
and just say Chris thank you thank you
you know what I mean and they thank me
but there are also those who turn on me
right they turn on me or the end oh
they'll talk smack about me or they'll
you know
blame me for you know something even
though it was their own responsible all
those things so I absolutely get it and
understand so if you're somebody who's
been through this as well what helps me
out what helps me let go and get past it
there's something that talk to you
Westbrook talks a lot about when she was
talking about the situation with James
Giles she just wants to let go and move
on right so I I personally have to
practice forgiveness and something that
I do is that I I try I try to realize
that this this isn't a bad person this
is a sick person all right like whether
you want to you know see them as
spiritually sick or or mentally sick
whatever it is Charles like hey the
dudes like 9421 the prefrontal cortex
the logical decision-making part of your
brain does it fully develop until your
mid-to-late 20s James Charles is an
idiot kid right that's what I'm saying
like maybe later on him and talk to you
can have a relationship but but what
help what would help me if I was in talk
to you situation to say this is a sick
person not necessarily a bad person
right even though this actions are bad
like I think it's a point that we
separate the actions from the person
right because if not we can get into
this whole pessimistic nihilistic type
of frame of mind where we just think
everybody's awful and all sorts of stuff
so the last thing I want to talk about
is this clip right here I'm not gonna
let that happen to me and if I fall
apart because people don't like what I
have to say or that I said it loud here
on my channel I guess that's on me and
this is my choice because I've always
been a person that wanted to not let
fear control me that's been an issue of
mine in the past and I want for anybody
out there that is letting fear and power
and someone else telling you how to feel
because there will be a consequence
don't let that fear eat you up you
free to be who you want to be you're
free to speak up if something's not
feeling okay and if you ever need to
defend your character go for it and I
hope at minimum I'm an example of that
and that talked to Westbrook is how you
end this on a high note
right like talk to Westbrook was talking
about the fear she had about making this
video and and I get it like whenever I
see anybody
whenever I see anybody going against
James Charles there's like this fear
there's this fear that the sisters are
gonna go crazy on them right like the
sisters are not above making death
threats and going crazy so I understand
talk to us trust fearing that but I
think it's a powerful message for
anybody out there whether you're
struggling with just like regular fear
or like true anxiety you know what I
mean like be true to you do what you
think is right move forward work hard
and just realize it's going to be work
worth it every single challenge that we
go through every single time that we
overcome fear in my opinion it builds
this resilience in us all right like I
am NOT a neuroscientist but there are
studies that prove like this is why
exposure therapy works when we continue
to face our fears our amygdala starts to
chill the hell out and we stop being as
afraid the next time we go into that
situation all right so a few morals of
this video and this whole situation
that's going down one is don't be a dick
if somebody has helped you out along the
way like respect them and chill out and
don't let your ego lose control all
right everybody needs Mentors and we
need to respect our mentors we need to
respect the people who have been through
what we've been through right I'm not
here to say that every person older than
you who has walked a certain path knows
everything and it's never wrong but we
need to respect their experience but the
other thing on this is let go move
forward all right
because we
that meant holding on to resentment they
say is like drinking poison and hoping
the other person dies so we gotta let go
of this stuff and I always say this
forgiveness isn't about letting the
other person off the hook forgiveness is
about letting ourselves off the hook all
right but anyways that's all I got for
this video if you like this video please
give it a thumbs up if you're new make
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of videos turning the mess into a
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click the top right there alright thanks
again so so much for watching I'll see
you next time
