How about these two?
I'm David, and I'm 33.
I'm Marissa, and I'm 25.
   We've been dating
for a year and a half.
 -Ooh!
  -[ Laughs ]
   You can tell by his face
something heavy about to drop.
 Isn't that
Arnold Schwarzenegger
and the cleaning lady
   that he porked?
 -Oh!
   -Oh, man.
 She definitely looks
 held-captive.
  It's like,
"I knew when I let her
   out of my trunk,
I couldn't let her go forever!"
   I think they both
answered the wrong ad.
I think he saved her
from getting mugged,
 and she was like,
  "How can I repay you?"
   And he was like,
  "Sit on his dick!"
 [ Laughter ]
I have fallen for that
so many times.
I've lost so many wallets
and so many STDs.
 [ Laughs ]
Let's find out
how they actually met.
  We met in high school.
 I was a student,
   and he was a teacher.
And I still got my job.
 [ Laughter ]
Still in there.
  Still out there.
  -He said it like --
   -Oh, man.
   That means it's not
a long-term relationship.
He can keep dipping.
But, like, we talking 9th grade
or 12th grade?
   You know what I mean?
That's a --
  Been there.
Like, you still got your job
  until you said it
on national television,
mother [bleep]
Like, you still got your job
  until you said it
