What's crackin', B? Welcome back to
Thug Notes.
This week, we keepin it classy with "Pride and Prejudice"  by Jane Austen.
This book tells the story of
Elizabeth Bennett and her fine sistas.
Now Mama Bennett be tryna get them girls to
strut they stuff in order to find some husbands.
One day, two hood rich cats named
Bingley and Darcy roll into town.
Now Mama Bennet be geeked up tryna sling Jane
in front
of dat boy Bingley.
Look, I ain’t saying she a gold digger,
but Bingley sure as hell
ain’t no broke ni**a.
So Jane gets all dolled up and
tears it up with Bingley up in the club.
Same night, Liz try to kick it wit Darcy, but
that honky straight disses her,
sayin she ain’t fly enough to roll with his crew.
Shortly after, a rich preacher man
named Collins and a smooth talkin-soldier boy named
Wickham drop in to holler at dem
Bennett girls.
Wickham tells Lizzie that he got beef with that fool
Darcy over some cash
Darcy be owin him.
Couple days later,
Jane be straight trippin cuz Bingley peaced outta town with no explanation.
Then one day, Lizzie runs into that punk
Darcy and discovers he was the one who went up to Bingley and said, “Yo shawty, don’t marry dat trick Jane."
Oh snap! Then Darcy dun confess his love
to Liz,
but my girl be all like, “Hell naw, blood. You cock-blocked my sister.”
Then Darcy sends Liz a letter sayin
dat his beef wit Wickham is cuz dat playa
tried to marry his sister in order to get
some o dat old money.
Not only that,
but he only told Bingley to drop Jane cuz he thought
she wasn’t feelin it.
Later, Lizzy finds out that her
baby sister Lydia been seduced by Wickham
and run away with dat playa.
Now that Wickham
dun jacked up Lydia's reputation,
he gonna marry her only if the Bennets pay him to do it.
Damn!
So homeboy Darcy straight up comes
to the rescue and pays Wickham to marry Lydia.
After Liz finds out that it was Darcy dat
saved her sister from dirty skank status,
Lizzie straight falls fo dis honkie.
Good thing for her, Bingley soon realizes that Jane really is the foxiest hoe in da hood.
So Bingley brings his ace Darcy to the Bennets' place,
admits he’s been actin a fool, and marries Jane.
Den my man Darcy proposes to Liz, and
they get married.
Happy ending for all dem white girls!
All da baddest cats in the hood know that
the opening sentence of this book
is one of the most important in
all of literature.
“It is a truth universally
acknowledged,
that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”
Now you might be thinkin: Is this
real talk right here, or is it Jane Austen just playin
when she throw out big-ass terms like
“universal truth”?
This exactly the kind of irony Austen be slingin all up in dis
bitch.
For example, on one hand, Liz
shackin up with that rich play boy Darcy
supports all dem hierarchical anti-feminist traditions.
But on the other hand, my girl Liz ain’t acting like society’s bitch.
Naw, naw, she says, "Fuck the establishment" and be actin strong-willed, independent,
and don’t take no lip from that boy Darcy.
Now that’s some kind of woman!
So the truth is: my girl Jane Austen
don’t play it straight.
She be slingin irony all day, erry day,
makin this book liable for
all kinds of opposing interpretations.
Yo peep these themes, blood — moral
blindness and self knowledge. Early on,
Darcy’s pride made him think that Lizzy would geek
out at da chance to marry him,
cuz he got swole pockets, and she ain’t nuttin but a
hood rat.
Also, Lizzy’s prejudice make her
jump to some
whack-ass conclusion after Wickham tells her about his beef with Darcy.
But after Liz rejects Darcy, and he sends her da letter explaining how things really be,
these fools realize how their pride and prejudice be clouding their moral judgement, home boy.
Yo, if you wanna talk central theme
up in here, listen good.
Traditional society be full of egos, class structures, social
laws, economics —
all which be puttin distance between people.
So what Austen may be askin
is:
How da fuck are people gonna come together in a world of such distances, playa?
Hey, thanks fo watching Thug Notes.
Make sho yo ass subscribe, and I'll see you next week, playa!
