You know in the world today, we're having
a big problem with miscommunication. I
know what you ought to do. It's time to
learn a little bit more about body
language.
You're probably noticing that there's a
lot of miscommunication going on in the
world. And if you're not noticing it all
you got to do is look closely at your
personal relationships. And you're going
to see that you struggle understanding
other people. And you tend to be a little
confusing to others when you talk. So,
what's the big deal? Why? Because we have
so much technology, why is technology not
helping us communicate more clearly. Well,
there is a very important part about
communication that we actually don't go
to school for. You know, we go to school
to learn about math and English and
history and science and all these things
but we don't go to school to learn how
to communicate. You know, once in a while
they'll teach you how to give a
presentation in school. You know, you get
your little board and you stand up and
do your presentation. But they don't
teach you how to communicate with your
body language. Everybody uses their body
to communicate. It is part of
communication between us and other
people. But right now, body language is
all seen as... You know, this interesting
thing you can watch. And there's even
people out there who say that body
language doesn't play any part of
communicating with people. Ah, well it's a
huge piece of communication. It is a
large part of the percentage of
communication that happens between us
and other people because we have ears
and we have eyes. We listen to what
people say but we're also watching how
they move. So, because you don't know
about body language is because your school
didn't teach you about body language.
Your parents didn't teach you about body
language. But body language is gigantic.
It's huge. And when I started to figure
out that I was lacking the skill of
reading other people's body language, it
made sense why there was so much
miscommunication. So for you, I mean right
now, I hope that this stirs you to acts
go and start studying everything you can
find about body language. Because I will
tell you right now, if you do not study
body language, you will struggle in
school. You'll struggle with your friends.
You'll struggle with dating. You'll
struggle with marriage and you'll
struggle at work, you'll struggle with
your boss, you'll struggle with your
employees, you'll struggle at your
clients, they'll struggle with your
prospects because you lack communication
skills. Talking is only a small
percentage of communication. Writing is
only a small percentage of communication.
But body language is going on all the
time. Now, here's a reason why you want to
study body language is because when
people go to speak, they can actually
shut their mouth and edit or stop saying
particular information. They can edit it.
But what happens is people don't focus
on how to edit their body language... So,
body language has more of a pure message
to it than actually what's coming out of
a person's mouth. And so, if you want to
know the whole story that's going on
inside of a person's head, you listen to
what they say and then you notice how
they move. So, body language plays a huge
role in the communication process
between us and others. Now, a big part
that body language plays is there are
many things that we feel that we don't
say. You know, we'll feel something and
then we'll actually change the words.
Well actually... You know, even kind of make
it sound better than what it really is.
Most people actually don't tell the
truth. You know you ask them, "How you
doing?" And they go, "Good!" But it inside
they're not doing good. And you know,
we try to make it sound like
everything's okay and everything's alright. Now, socially... You know, that's what
we do to each other. But what if this is...
What if this is your son or your
daughter? And you really want to know how
they feel? What if this is your spouse
and you really want to help your spouse?
But they're not telling you the real
story. Well, body language exposes how a
person really feels.
Now, the reason why it's important to
notice this about what it exposes is
because people are trying to cover up
how they actually feel and how they
actually think. And people confuse
themselves that they can't even tell the
truth. And because they can't tell the
truth then they can't express their
truth to other people. And now we've got
a big mess of miscommunication. And this
is why spouses can align with each other
and get things fixed. This is why parents
struggle with their teenagers. And while
teenagers struggle with their teachers
is because there's a whole bunch of
half-truths being said. A whole bunch of
lying and covering up what's really
going on. We're kind of messed up as a
human race. We're kind of messed up
because we don't tell each other the
truth. But I have found that by reading
body language what happens is, I'm able
to see another side of the conversation.
I'm able to notice more of the truth of
what's happening to a person. Because it
exposes the truth. Not exposes their, you
know, their private life. It exposes their
truth. Now, as a dad and a husband and a
business owner and a coach and a mentor
and a trainer, this has really helped me
because when somebody's struggling and
they can't fix their life, number one
they're not even telling themselves the
truth. And number 2, they're trying to
tell me what's going on but I watch
their body language to see the rest of
the message. So, the reason why I'm
talking to you today about body language
is because to open up your mind to be
able to go, "Man, I got to learn about this.
And I got a really check-in and go you
know, "What is this and how does it work?"
Now, body language also emphasizes
certain parts of the story
and it also shows the intensity of the
conversation. So example, what if
a dad said to his kids, "Hey kids, we
need to clean up the house today." Or what
if he did this? "Kids, we need to clean up
the house!" Those 2 different examples,
you can tell which one dad is more amped
about. You know, which one is like
can his soul a bit more because he's
like slapping his hand or he's punching
his hand. So, the body language actually
shows the intensity of what's going on.
You know or you ask somebody. Here's
another example. I'll do 2 parts of
this example. You can ask somebody you
know how are you doing and their
response will go like this... One
example is they'll say... They'll do this,
they'll say, "Oh, I'm I'm good." You know and
their head all drops after they say the
question. Or you'll have somebody say, "Oh,
yeah. I'm good." Okay, which person is more
stressed? They both said exactly the same
thing but ones rubbing their face the
other ones just looking down. The one
who's rubbing their face, you know, it's a
much more intense situation for them. So,
not noticing body language, not even
paying attention to it actually puts you
in the blind spot. It actually puts you
in a place where you're the one not
knowing. You're the one who doesn't know
what's going on because you don't know
how to read body language. So, what do you
do? You know, how do you how do you learn
about body language? How do you, you know...
Because you're probably wondering,
"Well what do I watch for? what do I do?"
We got to watch this video and the other
videos I have and because I got more
videos coming to you about how to read
by language. Pay attention. But let me
give you a couple cues though. While
you're with a person and they are
speaking. Not only get captivated by what
they say. But stay so present that you
can actually glance and watch their
hands, their mouth, their head, their
face, their posture. And you ask yourself.
You ask yourself, "If I was doing that
particular movement would I be thinking?
If I was doing that move, if I was doing
this, what would I be thinking? Or if I
was rubbing my face intensely, how would
I be feeling?" I swear the easiest way to
begin noticing and reading body language
is
whatever you see happen on someone else,
like what they're doing, you pose the
questions yourself of like, "Wow, if I
did what they're doing, what would I be
thinking or feeling that would cause me
to move that way?" And if you could turn
your mind to actively listening, not only
with your ears but with your eyes. If you
could actively be listening with your
ears and your eyes, you will start to
hear the whole story. Because when
there's a miscommunication problem ,it's
because that there's parts of the
communication, parts of the information
had gone. It wasn't even there. And you
are having more challenges than you need
to right now about communication. So,
today's the day to start studying. Start
watching. And I'll... Let me give you some
other inside tips. You can read all the
books in the world about how to read by
language. But unless you activate your
mind while you're with a person to begin
watching, all the education is not going
to do anything for you. It is an active
experience. And that means you actually
have to activate a part of your mind to
actually watch the person. Watch and
analyze. Not watching judge. Watch and
analyze and you pose a question to
yourself. "If I was doing that what, would
I think? Would I be thinking or what
would I be feeling that would cause me
to do a similar movement?" Okay, but here's
a couple little heads up though.
It does not give you permission to sit
there and scan a person's body. If
somebody was looking at me and they were
scanning my body up and down, that would
be so creepy, be so creepy. So, you don't do that. You don't scan
people's body while they're talking to
you. You will creep people out. Well, what
you do is you can look in a person's
eyes or look at their face and begin to
stretch your peripheral vision so you
can see the movements of their hands. If
their hands are moving over here or down
here up here. That you can see that
without having to stare so
fine-tune to every little movement that
they're doing. Today is a great day to
improve your communication. Your
communication problems are because of
you. They're not because of other people.
They're because of you. You are the
receiver of information. And if you don't
up your game of understanding the input
of increasing the input of what other
people are saying to you through their
language and through their movements. If
you don't up to your game of being able
to receive more information, you are
going to continue to be the problem in
the communication experience. And it will
actually give you a level of empowerment.
Maybe even a little bit more empowerment
that if you don't understand something
that's going on in the communication, you
pose questions. You never just leave a
situation where it's at. If you don't
understand what's going on, you ask
questions. And I'll tell you this when I
read body language, it brings up a lot of
questions for me to ask. Because I want
clarification. I want clarification
because if I have clarification,
now I understand what's happening and
then we don't waste time with
miscommunication. It's just terrible to
waste time because then it's hurt
feelings hurt people, lack of time, waste
of resources, waste of energy because of
miscommunication. But if you're having
issues with your kids and communicating
with your kids, it's you. If you have... It
really is. If you have a
challenge with your husband or your wife,
it's you. Or your boyfriend or girlfriend,
it's you. Because you're the one in
charge of listening. You're the one in
charge of making sure the communication
is correct. You're in charge that all the
details are communicated clearly. Never
ever, ever expect another person to be in
charge of the clarity of the
communication. You are in charge. The
biggest mistake I hear about people with
communication is that they say, "If they
would have just explained themselves
better,
I would have better understanding." And
that is the source of a global epidemic
of miscommunication. Because they're
waiting for the other person to be
better. When we are the ones who need to
activate our ears, activate our eyes and
really start to pay attention to the
rest of the story through body language.
And hear me on this one. Texting and
emails and emojis are literally defusing
and degrading our skills of reading body
language. You are going to see us as
people become more, more in a state of
confusion. Even though we got all this
technology. You're going to see families
struggle, marriages struggle, friends
struggle, students struggle, teachers
struggle and they think technology is
here to save all of us. What is going to
save us is better listening skills.
That's what's going to save us and our
families, our marriage, our kids.
Everything we do. Work, everything. And
listening skills are up to you. Not up to
them. It's up to us. So, reading body
language is a listening skill. It's a
listening skill. And you get to jump in
and start learning. And ask the question
that what would I be thinking or what
would I be feeling. would I be thinking
what would I be feeling that would cause
a similar movement like what I see
happening on this person right now? That
is a solution to your problems with
miscommunication. Okay, check it out. It's
time for you to learn more about how to
read by language. So definitely it's
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