For the so called "nice guys" who complain about being placed in the "friend zone"
SHUT UP!
Zip it!
Close your mouth!
We are sick of you playing a part of   "compassionate listener" around female friends
Only to wine when your malevonence fails  to result in booty
And if there weren´t better causes to whine about
Like patriarchy
Entitlement
Valuing women for our ability to cure your boner and not  our actual personhood
Newsflash!
Woman are not slot machines who respond to your kindness with sex
Thinking you are owed something for not being an asshole
Makes you an ASSHOLE!
But somehow you have decided that you are a victim
Screwed by  women´s decisions not to screw you
Mansplaning why you don´t belong in the "friend zone"
We know this points have been made before
But there is one question everyone overlooks
Who the Fuck complains about being placed in something called the "Friend zone"?
IT SOUNDS AWSOME!!!
Like a zone but for Friends!!!
It sounds like the "friend zone" is the worst place ever  but there are plenty of worst places
Like a wafflehouse bathroom at 3 a.m
The elephant´s graveyard!
You must never go there Simba
All nine circles of hell
Whenever I think of the "friend zone" all I can picture is
The most magical place in the world where the humans are real but the animals are cartoons
That smile and talk to you
And the sunflowers have faces and they look down at their branches and say:
Hey I am glad I am growing you know !
But these buds will never compare to the one´s standing next to me
THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND!
My "friend zone" is a ray of possibilities
Where there be no creeps but there will be plenty of crepes made by friendly pirates
Yey me best friend
But no booty calls
agh(pirate accent )
You might not like being placed in the "friend zone "
But where else are you going to find a zone with it´s own theme song?
That goes:
Hanging with my friends in the "Friend zone " where everyone gives a high five
Thanks to love! Pizza here and  we are happy to be alive!
Yeah!
There will be no sexting in the "friend zone "
No dick pic
No unwelcomed grinding
No shitty attentions disguised as Kindness
ONLY actual Kindness!
with gentle hugs
And a giant boat filled with smores
called the  FRIEND-SHIP!
If that doesn´t  float your boat
If real friendship is somehow  dissapointing
Then no body wants your ass in the "friend zone" anyway!!
