Here's your tea. Are you feeling a bit better?
Not really, no.
Okay, well, can you describe the man who mugged you?
Umm. He was about five foot ten, short dark hair.
He put a knife to my throat, and he demanded my phone and my watch.
And were you wearing what you're wearing now?
Sorry?
Is this what you were wearing when it happened?
Um, yes. But...
[interrupts] You look quite provocatively wealthy.
[scoffs] Look, I fail to see how what I wear has anything...
[interrupts] It's just a bit of an invitation isn't it? Like you're advertising it.
You seem distressed. I'm gonna bring one of our counselors in.
This gentleman's a bit upset. He was mugged earlier.
Oh, dear.
Had you been drinking?
Yeah, because if you've had a drink it can send out confusing signals
Lead somebody on with a nice suit and the phone and then at the last minute say I don't want to be mugged.
He put a knife to my throat, and he demanded my possessions!
[interrupts] And you just gave them to him?
Did you even scream?
See, how is somebody to know that you don't enjoy handing over your possessions unless you make your intentions clear?
No, I didn't scream. He had a knife! I was really scared!
And we're very sympathetic, but I'm afraid you're going to have to accept some of the responsibility for this.
[knock on door]
Come in
[opens door] Are you going to be much longer? I've got a gentleman out here, says he's been receiving abusive emails for months.
Ask him what font he's been using. If it's something coquettish like Helvetica, then he's probably brought it on himself.
Alright, okay.
