Powerful Body Language Secrets
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[Music]
All right, gents, story time. So, my senior
year of high school, I took a course in which
multiple times throughout the year I just
stand in front of the entire class and give
a presentation.
As a shy guy, this was honestly hell on earth.
I thought I was going to fail, but I ended
up getting the highest grade in the class.
In fact, my teacher said, “You know what?
You’ve got great presentation skills. You’re
body language was spot on.”
How did I do this? The answer is I would trick
myself into feeling more confident by reliving
a memory of my junior year in track. You see,
that year there was a race in Monahans, Texas.
I was in fourth place going into that final
lap. Literally like I was 75 meters behind
first place and somehow I caught up to all
the guys and passed them like in the last
2 to 3 meters and ended up winning that race.
Greatest race of my life.
And I said, “You know what? I am still that
guy and I can get up here and I can give a
great presentation.” And I just thought
of how I felt. Thinking about it right now,
I just get pumped up, and that’s the power
of this body language hack.
All of a sudden when you relive one of your
greatest memories, one of those times when
you did triumph, all of a sudden you start
walking like you triumph again. You start
feeling good about yourself, you start standing
up taller, you walk straighter, you walk with
more confidence. There’s a bounce in your
step and people notice.
Tip number two to make your body language
more attractive and approachable, start talking
about something that you care about. Direct
the conversation towards passions. It’s
actually very easy because someone mentions
horses within the conversation. You love horses,
you grew up riding horses. You had some Arabian
some Quarter horses. You find a way to bring
that into the conversation.
This person also had horses that grew up on
a farm, you grew up on ranch, you start getting
down into horses, all of a sudden this person
likes you. You start looking at them, you
guys are just having this open conversation.
So, when you talk about things that you care
about, people notice it in the voice. They
notice that your body language changes.
This is something we naturally do and that’s
what I like about this tip right here is you’re
simply going into a natural conversation.
But because it’s about something that you
care about deeply, all of a sudden you go
back to great memories and your body language
naturally changes to something that makes
you more approachable.
Now, it goes without saying, but one of the
best ways to improve your body language is
to level up your confidence.
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Now, the next few points are specific tips
that you can implement to come off as more
powerful as the man in charge. First up, you’re
going to roll back the shoulders and stand
up straight. You don’t want to slouch over,
you don’t want to hide the chest.
This is something we see in primates. They
stick that chest out, they say I’m in charge.
It’s a way of making yourself look larger
and this right here will instantly make you
look more powerful.
Next, relax and take up space. And by take
up space, I don’t mean lay across multiple
chairs. No. They up your chair, but don’t
be afraid to actually lay back to open yourself
up. What you don’t want to do is try to
make yourself look small.
You’ve seen these people, they actually
try to minimize themselves. They don’t even
consciously realize what they’re doing,
how they’re making themselves look smaller.
And even if you’re not the man in charge,
you can go in there and you can sit and just
feel comfortable. It sends a signal that you’re
relax, that, yeah, you’re one of the top
guys there.
Next up, eye contact. So, when you walk into
a room or somebody else walks into the room,
make eye contact, acknowledge that person.
It can be with a quick nod, it can be with
a quick wave however you want to do it, but
make sure that you don’t when you look at
somebody look immediately down. That is a
weak response.
And, when you’re speaking with somebody
one-on-one, you want to be making eye contact
70-80% of the time. If you look down or you
look away a lot, it shows that you’re not
paying attention. It also may show that you’re
not interested in them, that you’re not
you’re strong enough to actually be able
to maintain eye contact, so it can make you
come off as weak.
I know there are cultures out there in which
students oftentimes defer in making eye contact.
They’ll look down when a teacher is speaking
with them. But, in the western world, making
eye contact with somebody is a show of strength
and good manners.
Now, this body language tip to come off as
more powerful is difficult for a lot of guys
and that is stop fidgeting. Stop those quick
movements, those nervous movements. This does
not make you look stronger, this does not
make you look powerful.
Instead, slow things down. And I’m not talking
about being like a sloth, but I am talking
about having slower more deliberate movements.
This comes off as someone that’s calculated,
someone that’s thinking through, someone
that isn’t easily riled, someone that’s
in charge.
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Now, this next particular body language tips
are all about helping you look more approachable
and attractive.
First up, you want to raise up that chin and
expose the neck. Now, exposure of the neck.
The scientists have known for years is attractive
both to men and women. In fact, if you look
throughout paintings in history, you’ll
see very attractive paintings of women, what
are they doing? They’re exposing the neck.
But, let’s talk about chin placement. A
lot of guys have this bad habit of simply
tucking their chin down and this is happening
a lot because people are looking at their
phones. Why is this viewed as so unattractive?
Because it makes you look unapproachable.
It makes you looks subservient.
So, if you’re falling into this habit, make
sure that when you’re normally walking,
you’re not doing this. Of if you want to
engage and talk with people, you probably
want to get that chin up because when you
get that chin up especially not only when
it’s level, but when it’s slightly above,
this is viewed as a guy that’s going places
as a guy with potential.
And there’s a really interesting study in
which they took the same guy and they just
simply change the positioning of his chin
and women looked at the same picture. And
again and again, the guy basically that his
chin was even or his chin was slightly above,
this guy was viewed is not only more approachable,
but attractive, but that guy that’s slightly
above, he was viewed as someone that was going
places and had more potential.
The next tip to come off as more attractive
and approachable, show your hands. Really,
have open palms and when you’re talking
bring them up here. Why do you not want to
hide your hands? Why do you not want them
clenched down in a fist? And a lot of guys
fall into this habit, they get nervous and
they put their hands like this, guess what?
It looks like you’re going to hit somebody.
No. I know you’re not going to hit anyone,
but it looks like that. And you can give off
that feeling. You get into this really tight
mode. No, you want to open up, get used to
having the open palm. It shows that you’re
not holding a weapon, that you are not going
to strike anyone, that you are approachable.
And don’t forget, gents, the power of a
smile. So, a smile especially when it’s
a genuine one is one of the most powerful
things that you can give somebody. It’s
going to make you more approachable, also
going to make you more attractive because
people feel good.
The vast majority of people, when they see
a smile they can’t resist, but almost make
one back themselves. This is something since
we were children that we’ve been trained
to do and, yes, it just gives you this great
feeling, so don’t be afraid to use it.
And now, let’s talk about your voice. [Sound
effect] Now, I’m going to put voice with
body language because it is your body and
the way that it projects this air out that
basically makes your voice. Yes, I know some
people are born with very deep voices and
some people have higher pitch voice. [Sound
effect]
But, you can adjust this to a degree. Don’t
believe me? Come up here to Wisconsin, you’ll
hear this nasally accent all the time. Yes,
that’s the way the people speak. Nothing
against my Wisconsin friends, on Wisconsin,
love the state, but, yeah, their accent –
Here’s the thing. We adjust our voices to
what we hear, to the way that we grew up and
the way that we’re taught to speak. But,
you can work on exercises. Talk to anyone
that has learned to sing classical like opera
or anything, they know how to project using
their diaphragm and using their whole body
to get that voice out there. And that is something
that you can learn.
If you want to improve your voice, if you
want a voice that’s going to make you more
attractive because, yes, women love a deeper
voice, they also love a voice and basically
when people speak and they slow things down.
Why? Because you sound like that you’re
in charge. You sound like you’re not overly
anxious, overly nervous.
And I know I speak fast in my videos. The
reason I do it, I want to get the information
out there. But, if I want to make a point,
if I want to stress something, if I’m giving
a presentation and I want to really hold people
on to each word I’m saying, I understand
when to do this, how to actually separate
things out. And by being more pronounced and
slowing things down, I can have a very powerful
impact and come off as stronger and more attractive.
So, what video to watch next? How about ten
ways to grab a woman’s attention without
saying a word? Guys, if you haven’t watched
this video, you want to go check it out. Yeah,
it’s a good one.
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