 
**You Make Me...Crazy**

**By**

**Suilan Lee**
**You Make Me...Crazy**

**Suilan Lee**

**Copyright** © **2014 Suilan Lee**

**Edited by Lisa Tepper**

**Cover Art by Liang Woo**

**All Rights Reserved**

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Thank you for respecting the author's work.

**Words to know**

**Gimchi** **–Spicy pickled cabbage (** **Popular Korean side dish** **)**

**Hyung** **\- Older brother (** **affectionate term used by men only** **)**

**Hyung-nim** **– Respected older brother used by men to guys they work with**

**Oppa** **\- Girl's use this for guys they like**

**Sunbae** **\- Respectful word for a colleague/ workmate with more experience**

**To Lisa,**

**Thank you so much for your hard work**
**1.** **Hiding from Pain**

The sky was full of stars twinkling away in the night. He could watch them for hours. Rolling over on the wooden sundeck behind the house, Jae let a soft sigh escape and closed his eyes. He'd worked the whole day planting cabbage seedlings in a quarter-acre patch. The season was right, he was anticipating a glorious grow this spring. Laying here in the dark silence, his only worry was the noisy cricket making noise under the deck.

He slept with a smile on his face, happy to enjoy the cool night. A tap on his jaw woke him the next morning. Rubbing his eyes, he blinked when he found a yellow cat standing on his chest. She meowed and he sat up.

"Mizu," he said with a yawn stretching his arms above his head.

His face felt chilled by the morning dew. Mizu meowed again and he picked her up as he stood to go into the house through the kitchen door. She purred loudly in his arms when he scratched her ears.

"Jae," his mother greeted when he walked in to the kitchen. She stood by the counter cutting boiled eggs on a board. "You're going to catch a cold sleeping out there."

"Morning Mum," he said with a small smile.

He took a bowl from the cupboard and went to the fridge tucked into the wall. Getting milk, he poured Mizu some and placed the bowl on the wooden floor for her.

With that done, Jae took a seat at the kitchen table where his mother had already set the table for three. His father's place was still unused, which meant he hadn't come downstairs yet. Jae accepted the bowl of miso soup, rice and the cup of coffee his mother put before him.

Four years in Seoul, coffee was the one thing he'd been unable to quit after coming back home. Taking a sip of the strong hot liquid, he closed his eyes in appreciation.

"What are you doing today?" his mother asked.

Kim Gae In was a short petite woman in her early sixties. Her hair cut short around her face. She looked homey in a flowery blouse and khaki pants with a red apron over her clothes to prevent any spill. Seeing her now, no one would believe she was the mother to eight children.

"Going to the coffee shop and helping out," he answered sipping his miso soup.

"Did you finish in the garden?" she asked.

"Of course, all I need to do is water the seedlings before I leave and when I get back. You'll make _gimchi_ when they grow right?" _Spicy pickled cabbage_

Gae In smiled and nodded.

"Of course, but Jae, are you really planning on being home until the cabbages grow?"

He stuffed his mouth with rice and nodded refusing to look at her. She stopped what she was doing at the sink and came to take a seat beside him.

"We should talk-,"

"Oh wow." Jae stood abruptly. He pointed at the time on the microwave. "Look, I'm going to be late. Why didn't you tell me I woke up so late?"

"Jae, it's seven o'clock in the morning," she said. Her expression told him that she knew he was avoiding her.

He flashed a smile, leaned to kiss her cheek and dashed out of the kitchen headed to his bedroom upstairs. He liked his life now, how simple things were; waking up to his mother's cooking, sleeping as he wished. Things were very good.

No need to complicate them, he thought as he jumped into the shower.

He rode his bike into the small town of Gong. The feel of the wind against his face was addictive. Letting go of the handles, he spread his arms wide, balancing on the bike as he rode down the hill. A smile spread on his lips and he laughed at the sheer exhilarating ride. A car honked breaking the spell and he grabbed the bike handles as the car passed him.

He rode into town ten minutes later. He loved the small town feel of Gong, quaint and picturesque. He loved the fact that everyone knew everybody. He waved at the baker who was writing out specials on the board outside his shop, and then there was the florist. The post office was opening as well. He braked as he turned on to Congee Street. The coffee shop was next to a hair salon. Slowing down, he got off the bike just as a young woman appeared at the hair salon door holding a broom.

"Morning Angie," he said smiling her.

"Jae, good morning," she answered pausing to watch him secure his bicycle. "How was your ride this morning?"

"One car passed me, two honks," he supplied with a wide smile, "better than yesterday's three cars."

"You should wear a helmet," she complained a frown dancing on her forehead. "It would be sad if our Jae got hurt doing stunts."

"I'll be fine," he promised as he entered the coffee shop. He paused at the doorway to ask, "Mocha?"

"Cappuccino," Angie answered with a wide smile. "I didn't get enough sleep. I stayed up watching a Black Shade special last night."

Jae winced and gave her a small grin. "Do you have a crush on a boy band?"

She laughed.

"Of course, Kim Jaehan has my heart forever."

He shook his head and entered the coffee shop. The morning staff was already hard at work serving the morning crowd had set in and the waiters moved from one table to the next. Jae hurried behind the counter, washing his hands before he made Angie's coffee. After he'd given it to one of the waiters, he went into the back of the shop to pull on a Kim Café t-shirt and held his hair back in a stubby ponytail. He was about to head into the main dining room to take orders when the manager intercepted him.

"Ah, Jae you're here," Minjoon said when he saw him. "Help out Sunny. She's flooded at the counter."

Jae changed course to the counter where the waiters brought the orders. A tall, curvy woman was busy filling four cups of cappuccino. Her smooth forehead wrinkled with a frown.

"Sunny, what do you need help with?"

"Make two cups of mocha, a macchiato and an ice cold coffee." She grumbled a few choice words about the ice-cold coffee while he got the cups and the glass.

"Why are you coming in so late?" she demanded when she passed her finished order to the waiting waiter.

"I woke up late." Jae answered fixing the ice-cold coffee. "I heard you went for a job interview yesterday."

"Yeah," Sunny said with a defeated tone. "I'm too overqualified," she explained when she met his gaze. "I don't know what that meant, but, I don't want to move to Seoul. If this futile job search continues in Gong, I'll be forced to go to the big city."

"What do you want to do?" he asked with a frown.

"I'm an accountant but the market seems flooded. It feels like there are no accounting jobs in this town. Yesterday I was interviewing for an executive assistant position."

He bit his lip hard, and then said, "I'm sure you'll get a position soon."

"I wish I was positive like you," Sunny said as she took boxes of coffee stirrers and napkins from a shelf under the counter.

She handed them to one of the waiters who went to replenish the tables.

The day was busy, he barely had time to stop and think about Sunny's comment about his positive side. He tried not to dwell too much on his current state of mind. Instead, he concentrated on making coffee, waiting tables, dishwashing. By the time four o'clock came around, he was beat.

"Jae, want to go out for drinks?" Sunny asked when she carried a tray of dishes into the back.

"Yeah, as long as you're driving me home."

"We can call Yun to drive you and your bicycle home. He won't charge you," Sunny said talking about the old man who owned the butchery.

"Fine, who else is going?"

"Manager Min," Sunny answered with a wide grin.

Jae suspected Manager Min was the reason she didn't want to leave Gong and head to Seoul to find a job.

Wiping his hands with a napkin, Jae left the back room and went out into the dining area. There was one customer. The waiters were having a shift change so he decided to take the order himself.

"Welcome to Kim Café. I'll take your order," he said politely.

Taking the notebook from his pocket, he glanced at the customer. He was a young man, finely dressed in a dark jacket that looked tailored to his frame. A black cap pulled so low over his forehead, Jae couldn't see his face.

"Sir," he said again.

"It's been a long time, _hyung_ ," a familiar voice said making Jae gasp as his customer lifted his head. "How have you been?"

****

Happy that the dining room was empty, Jae grabbed the young man's arm and dragged him out of the café. There was a black car parked across the street near an alley. Making sure no one had noticed in the café, Jae led his visitor to the car and didn't talk until he was safely in the backseat.

"That's a welcome and a half, Kim Jaehan," Kang Junghee said when he slammed the door closed. "You've changed. I almost didn't recognize you."

"What are you doing here?" Jae asked starting at Junghee in panic. "Did something happen?"

Junghee sighed. "How have you been? How are you doing? You should ask your old friend questions like these first."

"Can we really be called friends at this point?" Jae asked wiping his forehead with a napkin from his pocket.

"No," Junghee answered. "We're family, _hyung_."

Jae sighed and leaned his head back on the comfortable seat. He'd escaped his mother this morning. How was he going to escape Junghee?

"The coffee shop looks good. Do they know?" Junghee asked peering out the window at the bright building across the street.

Jae stared at the elegant words scrawled on the sign above the shop with a white mug of coffee mounted at the end, Kim Café.

"No," he answered. "Do you think anyone can recognize me like this?"

Junghee chuckled and turned to look at him.

"You grew out your hair. I don't think it would be possible to remember you as Kim Jaehan. You've been living a quiet life. Are you happy?"

Jae smiled. "I don't want to give it up."

Junghee nodded and they sat in silence for a while.

"Andre found someone we should meet," Junghee said breaking the silence. "He's had a hard time so his brother sent him to talk to a friend who might help us."

Junghee reached for a folder tucked into the expensive leather pouch on the back of the driver's seat.

"There are articles you should read here. The meeting is tomorrow at noon in Seoul. My house, I'll give the driver directions."

Jae took the documents running a finger over the sharp corners of the blue folder.

"What have you been doing?" he asked Junghee turning to look at him. "You look well."

"I went to see my parents," Junghee answered. "With my older brother running the family law firm, my parents have moved up country. It was nice being there with old friends. Andre stayed in Seoul helping his brother promote his latest book. He misses the stage, Jaehan."

"What could he possibly miss, is it the betrayals or the endless work?" Jae asked dropping his gaze to the blue folder on his lap.

"The joy of performance," Junghee said quietly. "Singing until your soul soars, I know you miss it too."

He couldn't lie about that. Despite the quaint life he was now living, the dreams still lingered behind the exhilarating bicycle rides down the hill.

"Promise you'll come," Junghee said touching his knee. "If not for yourself, do it for Andre."

Jae sighed and nodded. He'd do anything for Junghee and Andre.

****

**2. Black Shade and Betrayal**

Junghee's visit unsettled his balance, forgetting his promise to Sunny, Jae took his bike and rode back home in a hurry. The scenery held no interest for him, instead his head filled with the past. Ghosts and painful memories of betrayal grated against old wounds. He winced as he reached home. Instead of entering the house, he decided to head to the cabbage patch he'd planted the day before.

Turning on the water, he took the hose and walked along the rows carefully watering the fragile seedlings. Moving from one plant to the next, the repetitive work soothed him, allowing the jumble of memories to tumble to the surface easier.

He'd always loved music and the rush of performance from a young age. His parents would always encourage him to pursue his dreams and reach the highest he could. Knowing a small town like Gong couldn't give him the opportunities he wanted, he'd gone to Seoul at the age of sixteen.

_Sixteen_ , he thought now with a sigh.

Amidst his parents' protests, he'd decided to take the plunge and gone to Seoul for an audition call at the N-sang Entertainment agency. He'd passed the audition and been accepted into the training program, but his success had presented a new challenge: Life alone in Seoul.

Coming from a big family facing loneliness hadn't been easy. Seoul was tough without someone to lean on. He'd ended up living in a small two-bedroom house, with a roommate who spent most of his time running a club. He'd worked an endless cycle of odd jobs, delivering ramen, and dishwashing at hotels, cleaning services, and singing at karaoke bars. It was an endless cycle to help him pay for his vocal and dance training fees, not to mention rent and food.

He'd worked his jobs and dealt with the long hours spent training his voice, and dancing until points of exhaustion. Surrounded by a school full of aspiring singers and dancers all wanting the same opportunity, he'd endured sleepless nights and sore muscles with determination. There were times he'd been sure he'd break, but he hadn't.

One day, at the end of his second training year, he performed for the N-sang president for the chance to be part of a new N-sang band. A group of four young men they'd name Black Shade. The audition was tough, his nerves shot, he'd felt at the end of his wits.

When they'd announced his qualification, he'd almost collapsed in tears. At the time, he'd just been happy to make it in to a group. Glad to have the opportunity to work toward his dream, he'd accepted his role in Black Shade with a clean heart.

He was the oldest in the group of four. Park Jaesun was younger than he was by two months, Kang Junghee was six months younger than he was, and then there was Song Andre who was seventeen to their eighteen. They all called him _hyung_ (older brother) and because of this, the agency considered him the leader of Black Shade.

When they'd signed their contracts, the terms and conditions had seemed right; none of them had thought to take the time to read the fine print. Instead, they'd all worked to make Black Shade a success.

_Ambition was a punishing companion,_ Jae thought.

He'd worked so hard, harder than when he'd been training to be part of a group.

He remembered sleeping two hours a day, waking up to train his voice, or practice choreography for their endless shows. He'd taken extra care with his eating habits, attended endless venue activities as needed by N-sang Entertainment. They'd performed late into the night, going back to the Black Shade residence and doing it over again the next day.

Their day-offs had dwindled to three in a year and even then, they weren't exactly guaranteed. He'd held on for the sake of the dream. Despite their restrictive lifestyle, to the nation, Black Shade became the ultimate successful boy band in Korea. Kim Jaehan became a role model to young people.

_The leader of Black Shade_ , Jae sighed at the memory, he'd felt untouchable.

Four years later, Black Shade was successful.

_Too successful_ , he thought sadly.

The band members became his family. He thought of them as his younger siblings. Their easy acceptance and shared goals had brought them together, given him a love he couldn't describe.

Jae turned off the water and sat on a rock in the middle of the garden. He sometimes hated the moment he'd started asking questions. If he'd kept blindly following orders, Black Shade would have survived.

At first, he'd been content to take whatever N-sang gave him and keep living. But-, after a particularly successful tour, they'd come back home expecting a large pay-off only to be faced with disappointment.

Kang Junghee's brother, Sang, had pointed out the discrepancies in their income hoping to get Junghee's income adjusted. When Junghee brought up the issue with him, Jae had first accused him of trying to break Black Shade.

Later on though, he'd started thinking about Junghee's questions and decided to pursue the matter as Black Shade's leader.

N-sang had shut down any questions he'd asked with words like ' _increased costs and expenses_ '. N-sang Entertainment had withheld Black Shade's profits and insisted the band wasn't as successful as the world thought.

Shaking his head, Jae thought back to the documents they'd given him to explain the increased costs of production and expenses. Surely, even a child could count, one plus one, equals two. A band selling merchandise, albums, doing concerts and filling stadiums, their net profit hadn't made sense.

According to N-sang, their continued success meant that their costs increased. N-sang charged all costs incurred during tours and promotion activities to Black Shade's income. Though the band was drawing in large proceeds, the costs incurred through N-sang Management, dropped their pay to mere pocket money. He'd gotten angry when the N-sang C.E.O had shut down any attempts to discuss the matter further.

Reality had crashed in when Junghee had wanted to buy a house when his old lease expired. Junghee had to take a loan to buy the darned house. Black Shade had found itself in a unique situation.

_Poor yet successful_ , Jaehan thought as he studied a struggling seedling beside him.

Kang Sang, Junghee's brother, had taken a closer look at their contracts thinking that if they rode out the situation, in a year or two, Black Shade would be free to carry out its activities under a new agency.

It turned out that they'd signed twelve-year exclusive contracts with N-sang Entertainment. Being twenty-two at the time, his contract would have ended when he was thirty, not to mention the fact that he needed to meet his military obligations, which had meant N-sang would release him when he was thirty-two years old.

He'd counted those years and felt like the world was ending. Any attempts to break the contract terms would incur fines that were triple the amount of money N-sang Entertainment paid them. Since the contracts were exclusive, they couldn't carry out any performances outside the agency without incurring more fines.

Kang Sang had advised them to ask for a contract revision. When they'd broached the topic to the N-sang executives, the situation had only gotten worse.

N-sang Entertainment had suspended Black Shade's activities, claiming that the group members were in breach of contract. In response, Kang Sang had filed a complaint in court asking to suspend the Black Shade contracts with the claim that they were unfair.

Hell had broken lose after that.

N-sang Entertainment had taken the case against them as an attack and started a media battle that had made him want to hide in bed every day.

Jae buried his head in his hands remembering the day Park Jaesun, his lover and best friend, had betrayed him and Black Shade. He hadn't slept for days terrified by the thought of losing everything. As it was, he hadn't seen how they would escape from the lawsuit unscathed.

~~~

" _Jaehan," a soft voice interrupted his worried thoughts. He sat up on the bed to find his manager standing at the entrance. "Andre and Junghee want to talk to you."_

He'd closed his eyes and fought back the need to push them away. They were in trouble together, losing everything together.

His manger opened the door wider and in walked his two bandmates. The fact that Jaesun hadn't been with them had made his heart ache even more.

Junghee strolled into the room carrying a newspaper. His red hair a stark contrast from his pale skin, dressed in black, Junghee looked like he was in mourning. Behind him, Andre looked shaken. He too was dressed in black, his eyes red, as though he'd been crying. Jae understood Andre's sadness acutely.

Last night, Jaesun, one of them, had decided to give up on their fight and chosen to drop out of the lawsuit against N-sang Entertainment.

Jae knew N-sang had designed Jaesun's choice to break away, but he couldn't help being angry with Jaesun for giving up so easily. Jaesun's betrayal felt like an open wound in his heart, mostly because he loved Jaesun, had given him everything. He didn't know what Black Shade was without Jaesun?

" _I'll be outside," his manager said closing the door when she left._

Andre came to lie on the bed beside him. Junghee handed Jae the newspaper.

_Jae stared at Jaesun's handsome face plastered on the front page with remorse. The headline read, "_ Black Shade loses Park Jaesun in the fight against N-sang _." He balled the paper and threw it to the floor as hard as he could. He didn't need to read the article; no one could articulate Black Shade's situation._

"Hyung _," Andre said quietly. "We should stop now."_

" _And do what?" Jae asked digging fingers into his hair._

He leaned against the headboard and pushed the pain away.

" _If we don't fight, Andre, N-sang will win. We'll end up working for them for the rest of our lives. What's worse, we'll come out of it without much to show for our work."_

" _Maybe it's better to have what we had than nothing," Andre said quietly._

He'd heard the argument night before. It was the same argument Jaesun had given him before he'd capitulated to N-sang's offer.

" _Junghee," Jae said looking at the redhead pacing along his bed. "What do you think? Can we save Black Shade?"_

_Junghee shook his head. "If we don't fight, we'll end up suffering under N-sang wordlessly. We go back to them and our schedules will worsen. We'll pay for this embarrassment._ Hyung _, please don't quit on this."_

" _I'm not quitting. I'm afraid," Jae said meeting Junghee's gaze with sad eyes. "I don't know if I can give up this life. Junghee, you have your brother and family to look after you. Andre, your family will also take you back, but me," he shook his head._

What would become of him without Black Shade? Music was his life. He'd given up so much just to make it here.

" _Hyung," Andre said softly. "You can stay with me. I'd never abandon you."_

Jae sighed and closed his eyes.

" _Jaesun made his decision," he said. "I guess it's our turn. Today's the last day before we can go back on this."_

" _I'm not going to live this way," Junghee stated._

Jae looked at him and realized Junghee was the strongest of them all. Jae might be older but Junghee had more strength than he did.

" _Even if I lose it all, I will start again," Junghee said._

" _I'm with Junghee," Andre answered quietly. "I don't want to live like a slave. I don't even remember what it feels like to have a day-off. If I'm going to work this hard, I should at least have something to show for it."_

Sliding his feet over the bed, Jae stood and walked to the windows overlooking the Seoul City.

N-sang had asked them to move out and go home until this issue was resolved. He could imagine that meant losing anything N-sang had given them. The list sitting on his desk was astounding, even his car belonged to N-sang Entertainment. Turning to the two by the bed, Jae sighed as he realized they were right. They'd worked too hard for things to end up this way.

" _I'll call a cab in thirty minutes," Jae said quietly. "We can go to the house I got by lake. No one will find us there."_

" _What about Jaesun?" Andre asked._

He sighed.

Jaesun had decided his path, and there was no going back.

" _There's nothing to do about him," Jae said quietly._

Junghee moved around the bed and came to hug him. His warmth seeped into Jae, giving him a small measure of comfort. Small because he knew what their decision was going to end up costing them in the near future.

~~~

Jae stood from the rock and dragged the hose back to its holder.

The Seoul District Court had accepted their argument to make the contracts with N-sang invalid four months after their initial filing. He'd felt hope. Hope that N-sang Entertainment would release them.

Needing to get back on stage Junghee, Andre and he had renamed their band Rebellion. Working in Japan through the Rand Agency, they'd continued singing without Park Jaesun. For seven amazing months, he'd woken up happy to be doing something he loved on his own terms. Rebellion had gained a following, their old fans, God love them, had followed them from their days as Black Shade and made Rebellion a success in mere months.

Until their final night, Jae closed his eyes remembering that day as if it was yesterday. The day Rand Entertainment had suspended all their activities claiming discrepancies with their representative agency in Korea. Unknown to them, N-sang Entertainment had filed an objection to the court injunction that invalidated their contracts with N-sang claiming that the contracts were still valid. The Rand Agency had claimed Rebellion had signed a double contract causing a strain on the company's relationship with N-sang Entertainment. They'd lost everything after that.

No one would do business with them, book their shows, sell their albums; even television and radio programs blacklisted Rebellion. With nothing to hold on to, he'd packed a bag and moved back home to Gong.

Jae walked to the wooden platform he'd slept on the night before.

He was now twenty-three. In the space of seven years, he'd tasted unimaginable fame and equally unimaginable failure. Taking the folder Junghee had given him, he leafed through its contents. Old articles Junghee had collected in the past few months.

' _Kim Jaehan, Kang Junghee & Song Andre vs. N-sang Entertainment. Who is the real victim?' 'Park Jaesun tells the truth behind Black Shade's End.'_

He read the articles with a mixture of anger and guilt. Jaesun blamed him specifically for the end of Black Shade. Insisting Jaehan had forced the band members to file for the injunction.

'... _Kim Jaehan's greed caused the end. He should have endured. If he'd waited, taken the time to be reasonable, the situation would have been resolved...'_

_Park Jaesun_ , he thought a knife stabbing into his heart.

Jaesun's words hurt him deep. He'd tried his best to protect his bandmates, but Jaesun had chosen to hang to N-sang Entertainment. As far as Jae was concerned, Jaesun should have been the one who endured with them.

He turned to the next article and almost gasped when he saw a picture of his last night in Seoul. He'd gotten drunk, completely wasted at a club in Seoul. He had no recollection of how he'd gone home that night. When he'd woken up the next day, he'd decided the best solution was to leave the city. In the picture, two women he didn't recognize were helping him into a taxi.

' _Kim Jaehan breaks under pressure.'_

He didn't read the article, instead, he moved to the next one.

' _Andre struggles after Black Shade ends.'_

Andre's picture in sweats, walking behind his brother graced the top of the article. Jae assumed they'd taken the picture while Andre was at home. The article implied that Andre was working as his brother's manager because no one else would hire him.

' _Junghee disappears from Seoul.'_

' _Kim Jaehan rumored to be in hiding.'_

The speculation drove him crazy. Dropping the folder on the ground, he wondered if he could afford to give up this way.

"Jae," his mother said coming to sit next to him. She dropped her handbag beside her and yawned. "What a long day. Did you water the plants?"

"Yes," he said quietly.

She held out a frozen ice cream stick and he laughed. She'd divided it in half because it came with two sticks. He took the red treat and kissed her cheek in thanks.

"How was work?" he asked.

She was a teacher in the local kindergarten school.

"Good, same as always, and not," Gae In smiled at him. "What about you?"

He shrugged.

"Same as always, and not," he replied.

"I see why you like sitting here," she said after a few minutes in silence. "The wind feels nice."

"It really does," he said, leaning back on the wooden platform, his body supported by his elbows. "The cool breeze washes away everything, leaves you fresh."

Gae In shifted so that she sat looking at him.

"Is that what you want to do, Jae? Forget it all and live like this?"

He stared at the blue sky above.

"A small part of me wants to stay. I'd get married to a nice girl, give you grandkids to worry about, be Jae."

Gae In touched his jaw with a finger, gently caressing his skin. She reached his ear and tugged on his earlobe, her thumb rubbing the empty holes where he wore his earrings.

"But you're not just Jae," she said quietly. "You're my shining star, Kim Jaehan, and you won't be happy living this way."

He met her knowing gaze.

"Mum," he started with a frown.

"Marriage with kids and a wife is not for you," she said with a small smile. "I know, Jae. I know what Jaesun meant to you and what he cost you."

His cheeks flamed red and he tried to turn away from her gaze. He'd hoped she wouldn't understand why Jaesun's betrayal had hurt him so much.

"Jaesun loved you, Jae. When you were in Japan, he came to visit me. He wanted to see you so badly, but-, you were gone."

"That's not why he came," Jae said shaking his head bitterly.

Jaesun had wanted to appease his guilt.

"When you left Seoul, don't you think you gave up on Junghee and Andre as well?" Gae In asked.

The articles at his feet were proof of that. He should have stayed and helped Andre deal with the negative press. Their case against Rand was still in court. Their objection case brought forward by N-sang had yet to be resolved. Hiding away made him look weak, and he didn't appreciate that.

He wasn't ashamed of his fight against N-sang.

"I might have to go back to Seoul," he said quietly.

"I know." Gae In smiled. "I'll take care of your cabbages."

He'd miss this place.

Gae In tugged his ear and sat back to enjoy her ice cream treat.

He loved his mother's attitude. Being a musician hadn't made his parents' lives easier. His fame had forced on them enough troubles. They'd moved three times before they'd found Gong and this hideaway.

Having a relationship with Jaesun had to be hard for his mother to come to terms with. The fact that she hadn't told his father was enough commentary on her state of mind. Yet she smiled and encouraged him to pursue his dreams, his heart.

"Mom, you're my favorite person in the whole world. You know that, right?" he said turning on his side to look at her.

She laughed the sound carefree and comforting. It made him wish that at her age he'd laugh just like she did, and that his hard times would have ended.

****

**3. Meeting Suk Dan**

Jae woke up early the next day. Junghee had called him a car service so by ten o'clock, he was on his way to Seoul. It took two hours to get to the city, and he wanted the time before noon to meet Andre.

He slept through the journey and only woke up when they ran into traffic on their way into the city. Yawning, he stretched as best as he could and rubbed his eyes. A strange wave of excitement hit him as the car got on the highway that would take them to Seongbuk-dong.

Andre and Junghee were waiting for him at Junghee's house. He smiled as they zoomed past traffic. Leaning back in his seat, Jae watched the billboards. Some had changed; others were the same, familiar. He sat up when he saw one with Park Jaesun. A wide smile on his handsome face, Jaesun had his hands opened wide inviting people to a concert at the Seoul Dome. N-sang had changed his name to J.P., like that made any sense.

What kind of name was J.P.?

He scowled at the billboard and sat back in his seat. Rebellion was going to have five billboards in a row if he had anything to do with it. He was so angry his heartbeat increased into a wild frenzy. No wonder Jaesun had the guts to talk down on them. He'd continued on, happy to get on the stage and sing without them. He fumed the rest of the way to Junghee's house.

Junghee's house was in a highly secure gated community. The driver had to stop at the gates to give in his credentials. Sliding on dark glasses, Jaehan lowered the back window and held out his identification card. The guard took one glance and immediately gave him a short bow.

"Please, drive through, Mr. Junghee is expecting you."

Junghee's house was set at the end of the long street. They drove up a short driveway to a two-story house. He suddenly realized that he'd never visited Junghee's house. Their schedules had kept them so busy when they'd been Black Shade they hadn't had the time to visit each other. After the lawsuits had started, it had been easier to be separate in order to escape the meddling press and then he'd left for Gong. The driver parked the car and he got out taking a blue gift bag his mother had helped him prepare.

Junghee and Andre appeared at the front door and he smiled. He hadn't realized just how much he missed them. Andre jumped over the flower garden, ran across the green yard to get to the driveway. Jae laughed when Andre engulfed him in a very tight hug.

Junghee crossed his arms against his chest and watched them. The driver excused himself with a bow and drove away a few minutes later. Jae held on to Andre, patting his back.

"Did you miss me that much?" he asked rocking Andre from side to side.

Andre sighed and stepped back.

"Three months," Andre complained. "How can you go away for that long?"

"I called you when I could." Jae soothed.

"It's not the same and you know it," Andre said taking his hand. "Come inside. I made food. Junghee helped, but he's terrible in the kitchen. Are you hungry, _hyung_?"

"Starving," Jae said allowing Andre to lead him up the driveway to the path to the front door. When they reached Junghee, he paused to hug him. "You have a nice house. I'm sorry it's taken me this long to visit."

Junghee took the blue bag he held out.

"You should be sorry," he said peeking into the bag. "Is this your mom's _gimchi_?" (Spicy pickled cabbage)

"She packed it herself," Jae said as Andre led him into the house. "Wow, Junghee, your house looks so pristine."

"Don't let him fool you, he gets a cleaning service every day," Andre said as they all paused to remove their shoes and slip into comfortable indoor sandals.

"I like a clean house and I don't like cleaning." Junghee stated as they made their way through a brightly lit corridor to the back of the house where the kitchen was.

Jaehan fell in love with the kitchen the moment they entered the room. The windows: glass from top to bottom filled one side of the wall, showing off a gorgeous garden beyond, and bringing in light. The counter tops along the remaining walls were white marble, the cupboards above them painted bright yellows and pale green. He loved the contrast. In the middle was an island table with a cooking range, extended into an eating area with wooden high chairs on each side. Andre had set three place mats across from each other.

Jae took a seat and watched Junghee walk to a large fridge on his right. Getting a bottle of water, Junghee brought it over with a grin.

"Did you tell your parents why you were coming?" Junghee asked.

"Just that I needed to come to Seoul," Jae said taking the bottle of water. "I told them I missed you guys and wanted to see how you were doing."

Andre placed a plate on his place mat. "Did you read the articles?"

"Yeah," Jae said shaking his head. "I read them and saw JP's new billboard on my way over. He's really become their golden boy."

"Sadly, our situation has gotten worse. No one will distribute our albums. Without an agency and in legal battles with two bull entertainment companies, Rebellion is in trouble." Junghee took the seat beside him. "My brother is still gathering evidence for our lawsuit against Rand. As for N-sang, they keep pushing back the dates in court. They are dragging this situation out while they try to collect evidence on why we should honor our contracts with the company."

Jae sighed. Shrugging out of his jacket, he draped it over the back of his seat and pulled off his shades. He opened the bottle of water and took a healthy sip.

"Who did you meet?" he asked Andre.

Andre glanced at Junghee for a moment then said quietly, "Suk Dan."

Jae closed his eyes and wiped a hand down his face. "Why would you call Mr. Suk?"

"He called me," Andre protested. "He heard our story and wanted to know more. I met with him, we had a long talk and he thinks he can help."

Jae sipped his water and stared at the empty white plate before him. He'd heard the name Suk Dan in the news for a few months even though he didn't know the man. Next to Black Shade, Mr. Suk was the other disgraced man on entertainment news. Mr. Suk had gone into hiding a year ago amid fraud rumors about his previous company. He'd been running a talent agency representing three famous actors. His company had fired him after the actors claimed he'd not had their best interest in mind when he got them jobs. The cases had gathered so much interest, he'd been sure Suk would never venture into the entertainment business again.

Shaking his head, Jae turned to Junghee. "Are we really this desperate?"

Junghee shrugged and stared into his own empty plate. "No one will believe our story is true. N-sang has done a thorough job of casting us as rebels and greedy musicians. No agency will touch us with a ten-foot pole."

Jae turned to find Andre standing over his stewing pot. "Andre-"

"I really want to sing on stage again." Andre stated bracing his hands on the counter. "That's what makes me happy."

Jae sighed and sat back. "Fine, I'll listen, but if I don't like what he has to say, we're walking away."

"That's all I'm asking." Andre said taking bowls and passing them around their place mats. "He's not a bad guy. I've met him and he seems nice."

Jae glanced at Andre with a frown. The N-sang Entertainment C.E.O had also seemed nice, until he'd turned into a viper at the end.

Junghee noted his apprehension and patted his back. "I've taken up golfing, want to go out with me after the meeting?"

"You're golfing?" Jae laughed. "What happened to you when you went to visit your parents?"

"My dad took me. It's very relaxing, and I've really learned a lot about the perfect stroke," Junghee said with pride. "I can teach you."

Andre shook his head as he brought a bowl of steaming beef stew on the table.

"Can you imagine Jae golfing? He'll undo all the grass with his club."

"Hey, that's not fair. Why do I have to go golfing with you, when you won't go bike riding with me?"

"If you play soccer with me, I'll ride bikes with you," Andre suggested passing them bowls of rice. He laid out bowls of side dishes on the table and sat across Jae. "Let's eat."

Jae sat up, appreciating the scent, his stomach growled and they all laughed. "I'm starving."

"Eat." Junghee urged taking pieces of spicy beef from the bowl with his chopsticks and placing them on Jae's plate. "If you're going to play soccer we need to get you healthy. You're so skinny, Jae."

"I'd probably score for the wrong team," Jae complained taking a bite of the spicy morsel. "We should find something we all like together."

"Let's go sailing," Andre said. "Junghee got a yacht."

"Really," Jae said happily. He loved water, and being out on the ocean. "It's sunny; do you want us to go today?"

"Of course," Junghee smiled. " _Hyung_ , you'll cook the fish we catch, right?"

Jae grinned because Junghee was teasing him. They all knew he was squeamish about gutting the fish he captured. The last time they'd gone fishing, he'd caught the fish and let them go the moment he could get them off his hook. He figured it was unfair to eat fish that survived in a vast ocean. Yes, it was illogical reasoning since he ate fish cooked by someone else, but that was his motto.

Jae settled in his chair to eat, loving the conversation. They talked about fishing, moved on to swimming. They laughed a lot; he'd missed laughing with Junghee and Andre. They caught up on their lives. Andre's brother had gone to China to promote his latest book. Junghee's brother was thinking about getting married. Junghee talked about the bride to-be with pride. Saying Sang's woman was kindhearted and down to earth. He'd missed so much in the three months.

They finished lunch and he helped Junghee clean up the dishes. They were wiping down the table when the doorbell rang. Jae paused crumbling the napkin he held. Junghee turned off the water and wiped his hands.

"That's Mr. Suk. I'll get the door," Andre said quietly. "I'll take him to the living room."

Once Andre had left the kitchen, Jae turned to Junghee.

"What happens if Suk Dan is just playing us? Andre will be devastated."

"Are you coming back to Seoul?" Junghee asked him.

Jae sighed and leaned on the counter. "I suppose. I can't keep hiding away; N-sang will think we've given up."

"Then we'll find a way to sort Andre out," Junghee said quietly, "even if it means starting from zero again, like an indie band."

Jae threw his napkin into a trashcan and sighed. "We can't turn back if we start, Junghee."

Junghee gave him a small nod. "Let's go meet this Suk Dan."

Jae followed Junghee to the living room, his chest tight with anxiety; he paused at the entrance into the comfortable room. Like the kitchen, the living room also had floor length glass on one wall. The sun spilled into the room, falling on comfortable dark couches and the shining hard wood floors. Junghee had put paintings on the walls, and leather bound books on bookshelves on one wall. There were leafy plants growing in big dark pots in corners. The living room was comfortable and elegant just like Junghee.

Taking a seat on the dark brown three-sitter couch, he crossed his legs and finally looked at the two men seated in armchairs across the couch. One was shabbily dressed in an old gray sweater, green t-shirt and jeans. His dark hair shaggy around his head and black rimmed glasses rested on his nose. He'd probably look younger if he tried with his clothing.

In the other chair sat a man in his early thirties dressed in a black suit and white shirt. His hair neatly combed back, he sat with an alert air. Jae assumed he was Suk Dan. A round glass coffee table took up the space dividing them both. Jae sighed as he realized the divide between them would only get wider after this conversation. Bureaucrats were all the same.

Andre stood by the couch and said, "Mr. Suk, this is Kim Jaehan, and Kang Junghee."

Jaehan bowed his head in greeting and Junghee followed suit.

"Thank you for meeting us," Jae said quietly. "We apologize that you had to travel out of the main city to this house. It's difficult to meet in a public place right now."

The two men nodded and Andre turned to Jae.

"Jaehan, Junghee, this is Mr. Suk Dan and his lawyer Mr. Chang."

Jae frowned when Andre pointed out Mr. Suk. He'd assumed the lawyer was the shabbily dressed man slouched in his chair. When Suk met his gaze, his frown deepened as he realized Suk had been watching for his reaction. Fighting a scowl, he sat back on the couch and waited.

"Mr. Suk, why don't you repeat what you told me when we met," Andre said taking a seat on the couch beside Jae. Junghee sat to Jae's right, making them a team.

"Please call me Dan. I'm happy to meet the three of you." Dan said sitting up in his armchair. "I was expecting to meet your lawyer first before I met the three of you. This is-,"

"I wish you'd jump straight to the point," Jae interrupted him tired of the run around.

They'd met so many talent agencies with the same speech. He didn't want to raise his hopes up only to have them crashed.

"What are you offering? We're people who can't appear on television, promote on radio or even get a distribution company to sell our albums. What can you do for us?"

"Nothing," Dan replied holding his gaze. "I've heard your story and from my stand point, your careers are finished."

"So what are you doing here?" Jae asked annoyed by Dan's blunt nature. "If you put Andre on just to-,"

" _Hyung_ ," Andre said placing a hand on his shoulder. "Please, just give him a chance."

"If he doesn't get to the point soon, I'm going to-,"

"Run away again?" Dan asked cutting him off.

Jae turned to meet the man's gaze in surprise. "What-,"

"You ran away from Seoul when the Rand Agency dropped Rebellion. They had no right to do so, since you held valid contracts with them but you ran away," Dan said his tone accusing.

Jae stood up annoyed by the man's audacity. "I don't have to listen to you."

"If you leave, you won't get to hear my plan," Dan said quickly. "Kim Jaehan."

Andre tugged his left arm forcing him to sit.

He gritted his teeth and looked at Dan.

"N-sang won't let you go easily. They think what you've done is an insult to their agency. They trained you, taught you most of what you know about music and performing. Your lawsuit turns them into villains and they're sour. Rebellion is officially the anomaly. You're a band that is going against the understood system in the South Korean entertainment industry. They don't want you to succeed on your own."

Jae stared at Dan not ready to admit that the man understood Rebellion's current problem.

"What do you propose?" Junghee asked.

"Firstly, I think we should correct your situation with N-sang Entertainment. My lawyer will take over your lawsuit with them. Meanwhile, Rebellion should get back in the studio."

Jae closed his eyes. None of them had a studio to record. The convenience of the N-sang Entertainment studios had given them a false sense of security. They'd been too busy to think about owning studios in their homes.

"How do you feel about leaving the country?" Dan asked abruptly.

"What?" Jae stared at him in confusion.

One minute Dan was lining up lawsuits against their previous agency, the next he wanted to ship them out of their country.

Dan met his gaze for a moment before he continued, "It's alright. I understand your confusion. I'm running when I need to warm up. How about this, from today, let's say I'm committed to Rebellion."

"You'll help just like that?" Jae asked snapping his fingers in question.

"Yes," Dan said quietly. "Leave the situation with Rand Agency and N-sang Entertainment to me and I'll do my best to help Rebellion get on stage again."

"What do you want in return?" Junghee asked his tone guarded.

They'd had similar meetings, received promises of help to overcome lawsuits and N-sang's blackouts. The cost was always ridiculous, no different from working the slave contract they'd escaped.

Jae braced for disappointment.

"Absolutely nothing," Suk Dan said with quiet conviction. "We'll step into this venture as equal partners."

Jae frowned. He wanted to believe in Dan but this sounded too easy.

Dan had to have an ulterior motive, Jae thought.

"I'll let you think about my offer. If I don't hear from you, I'll assume you've agreed to work with me," Dan said. He stood and his lawyer followed suit. "It was nice to meet you all."

Andre showed them out. When he returned, he leaned on the wall with his arms crossed against his chest.

" _Hyung_ ," Andre said looking at him with concern.

"I don't like him," Jae stated with a shake of his head. "He's pushy and doesn't say what he'll get from helping us."

"You didn't give him a chance," Andre pointed out with a glare. "We have to start trusting someone."

Jae gave an impatient sigh and stood.

"Look, things can't get worse." Andre tried to reason.

Junghee scoffed. "Don't you know not to say that Andre? Jae's concerns are valid. Dan looks excessively eager to help. We should ask ourselves why because we've been down this road with Rand agency. Look what happened."

Andre's gaze dropped to the floor, a frown dancing on his smooth forehead. He was clearly struggling, looking for a way out. Jae felt like an idiot for being so afraid. Closing the distance between them, Jae touched Andre's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Andre," Jae said quietly. "I haven't been here and you've gone through so much alone. Why don't we take this day to day?"

Andre lifted his gaze with hope. "Do you mean that? Honestly, are you going to make an effort with Mr. Suk?"

Jae winced and gave him a small smile. "I'll try, but I warn you, the moment I feel we're in trouble again, we walk, Andre. I don't mind peddling our albums on the streets now. I've reached that place. We don't need a big company behind us anymore."

Andre grinned and they both turned to find Junghee smiling on the couch. Jae was glad to see smiles on his band mates faces, the trouble was, how long would this ray of hope last?"

****

**4. Broken Tiny Pieces of Heart**

Moving back to Seoul was tough; he missed his carefree rides down the hill in Gong. He'd moved in with Junghee to avoid reporters and the ensuing frenzy to discover why he'd returned to Seoul.

He called his mother every day. She promised that his cabbages were healthy each time they talked. He missed her, missed Gong, but his place was in Seoul.

He'd quietly watched Dan work toward resolving the objection filed by N-sang against their contract invalidity for the last six weeks. He'd sat through tiresome meetings, afraid that N-sang might win and have them pay hefty fines. Every time he thought about those fines, he lost a few years and his head hurt every time they got back home.

Dan was unmovable though. The evidence N-sang lined up didn't shake him, instead, he sat quietly, confidently and that confidence made Jae feel hope. Jae tried to ignore the hope budding in his heart each evening, but it was hard.

Adjusting the settings on the treadmill, Jae slowed down his jog and wondered when they'd reach the end of their legal problems. He wanted to concentrate on music, his life as a musician. He missed that very much.

His cell phone rang, and he got off the treadmill with a sigh to answer it.

" _Hyung_ , Dan has succeeded," Andre exclaimed into his ear. "The court rejected N-sang's objection this morning. They're not to interfere with our activities. We're free."

A weight lifted off his shoulders, making him lightheaded. Jae wasn't sure whether to scream or jump. Closing his eyes, he thanked God and asked, "What now?"

"Dan's coming over," Andre told him. "He'll tell us. I'm on my way."

"Junghee went to see his brother," Jae said turning off the treadmill.

His heart hammered in his chest, unable to believe that they'd won. N-sang would leave them alone now. They just had to; even the courts had seen the injustice.

"How long will it take you to get here?"

"Twenty minutes," Andre said. "Relax, Dan won't bite, I promise."

Jae sighed.

Still, there was Dan and his intentions. Despite his hard work to get them out of court, they still didn't know what Dan wanted and that made him nervous.

"You'd better hurry," Jae ordered and hung up.

He took a towel hanging on the treadmill handle and used it to wipe sweat off his forehead. The doorbell rang just as he got out of the gym in the basement.

Biting back a sigh, he detoured to the front door, opening it with a grimace.

Dan stood on the doorstep dressed in a white t-shirt, khaki shorts and gray flat shoes. His dark shaggy hair a wild riot on his head, Jae scowled. Didn't the man own a comb?

"Can I come in?" Dan asked, his eyes hidden behind dark sunglasses.

Jae stepped back allowing him in to the house.

"Junghee is out, Andre is on his way. You can wait in the living room while I change," Jae said as he closed the door.

Dan removed his glasses and looked around the bright hallway not making a move toward the living room. Instead, Dan watched him with keen dark brown eyes.

"What?" Jae asked with a frown.

He wasn't his best right now; his sweaty t-shirt clung to his body, and he hated it when people scrutinized him.

"That's your favorite word," Dan said after a very uncomfortable minute. "You've said it so many times since we met, I'm having nightmares."

He would have laughed had it been someone else. Jae bit his inner lip to keep from smiling and instead tugged on the towel draped on his shoulders.

"I'm older than you by four years," Dan commented. "You should be nicer to me."

This time he really did laugh.

"Mr. Suk, you and I barely know each other. From my experiences these days, age doesn't count much when it comes to decency. If you're looking for a cordial relationship-"

"I'm looking for common ground, Jaehan."

Dan took a step closer, and Jae froze struck by the older man's enthralling presence. Suddenly, he had to look up to meet Dan's gaze and that didn't sit well with him.

"You and I need to be on the same page if your bandmates will follow my instruction with clean hearts. We have a long journey ahead before you can breathe easily."

Dark brown eyes delved into his heart, tugging on strings he'd buried away. He'd forgotten what attraction felt like, this inexplicable urge to hold on to a stranger even when you didn't like him.

Dan, of all people, he frowned and fought the urge to step back, unwilling to give even an inch. Dan shocked him by closing the distance remaining between them. A clean mint scent invaded his senses making him gasp.

"You're so beautiful," Dan said quietly, his tone caressing. "Your pictures don't do you justice, Kim Jaehan. I'm breathless just standing this close. I'm tempted to taste your lips and find out if they're really that soft."

The words were unexpected. Jae found his gaze trapped by a smiling dark brown one and he suddenly couldn't breathe.

Dan lowered his head closer, enough to brush a soft kiss on his forehead.

"Relax; I don't bite the first day."

The touch of Dan's cool lips on his skin pushed him into motion. He slammed his palms against Dan's chest and pushed him away. "What are you doing?"

"Indulging myself," Dan replied with a sigh. "I've wanted to do that since that day in the living room. You're so guarded all the time, Jaehan."

"For good reason, you're a pervert. Don't ever touch me," Jae said glaring at him.

His heart hammered in his chest as though he'd just seen a scary movie. Shaking his head, he scowled at Dan and decided the man could fend for himself.

"Do what you want; I'm going to take a shower."

"Should I join you?" Dan called when he took off at a run up the stairs.

Jae grabbed the balustrade and took the stairs two at a time. When he was safely in his room, Jae leaned on the closed door shaken. His heart still hadn't stopped hammering. He wiped his forehead with his towel and wondered why he could still feel the touch of that man's lips on his skin. Scowling, he threw the towel in the general direction of the bed and went straight to the shower. Andre was mad to trust the man. Dan was nothing but trouble.

He was barely out of the shower when Andre and Junghee came into the bathroom. Their faces flushed with excitement, he grinned as he secured his towel around his hips.

"I can't believe it," Andre was saying jumping up and down. "Can you, it's so hard to believe. We're free. No fines."

"I was imagining making payments for the rest of my life. Those amounts N-sang was asking were ridiculous," Junghee said jumping on the bed. "The case is over!"

Jae laughed and shook his head. "We should go out and drink."

"We should buy Dan a huge crate of booze," Andre insisted grinning like a Cheshire cat.

Jae went to the closet in search of clothes. "We still don't know what he wants."

"Stop ruining the moment," Andre said sitting on the carpet when Jae peeped through the closet doors. "Can we deal with one crisis at a time? Besides, I don't think Dan is a problem. He's worked very hard these past weeks."

Jae pulled on dark briefs, dark green jeans, and a black t-shirt. Running fingers through his damp hair, he emerged from the closet on bare feet. "Aren't you curious?"

" _Hyung_ , I think you've become too suspicious." Junghee stopped jumping on the bed and lay on it.

He looked like an excited child in his gray short and white t-shirt. He'd apparently found time to stop by a hairdresser. He'd cut off all his hair and was now almost bald.

"Did you hair piss you off?" Jae asked.

"I'm turning over a new leaf." Junghee plumped the pillows and reclined against the headboard. "We're free even though we don't have a stage anymore. I don't think we should worry as much. Jae, try harder with Dan."

Jae sighed and went in search of the hairdryer. "We'll have to see."

They all trooped downstairs twenty minutes later to find Dan whistling in the kitchen. He was comfortably cooking egg toast and had set four plates around the kitchen table. Junghee and Andre exclaimed happily and rushed to take a seat. Jae approached his seat with caution. Dan smiled at them and served generous helpings on their plates.

Andre and Junghee happily praised Dan for his cooking skills, laughing with him when he said he was an amateur. Their easy interaction made Jae feel like he was being overly cautious. A sense of betrayal washed over him at how easily they were adapting to this man. Dan met his gaze when he took a seat across him. For a moment, he read a challenge in those dark brown eyes that quickly disappeared when Andre cleared his throat.

"Jae," Andre said nodding to his untouched sandwich. "Dan's egg toast is really good."

Taking a bite, a burst of delicious spices exploded in his mouth and he moaned in appreciation. He was hungry, and when he swallowed, the sandwich hit the spot. He hadn't realized just how hungry he was. He took a sip of his coffee and looked up to find Dan watching him. The expression on Dan's face made him pause and once again, all he could think about was the kiss in the hallway.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he reached for it like a lifeline. Sliding his thumb over the screen, he froze when he read the message.

>>Meet me at the old place - JSun

Pushing his phone back into his pocket, he stared at the rest of his sandwich. What did Jaesun want?

"Jae?" Junghee said making him look up. "Who is it?"

He shrugged.

"It was mum," he lied with a frown.

"Dan, are we going to talk about what to do now?" Andre asked turning to the older man seated across Jae.

"Yes, but I thought we should just take the day off today. It's been a hard couple of weeks and-"

Jae's cell phone buzzed again making Dan stop. Pushing his plate away, Jae got his cell phone and frowned when he found another message.

>>Please come, I need to see you - JSun

Jae sighed and got off his chair. "I need to go."

"Where," Junghee asked in surprise.

"Out," Jae said with a shrug. "We can meet later for a drink. Hmm...thanks Dan for your hard work."

"Jae," Andre said turning in his seat to look at him.

Jae gave them a wave and hurried out of the kitchen. He paused in the living room to take his dark glasses and a cap he'd left there the day before. Putting them on, he headed to the garage to take his motorcycle. Driving out of the gated community, he headed to his old apartment in Cheongdam-dong.

****

He'd held on to the loft lease, not ready to let go of the place. Driving his motorcycle to the back of the building, Jae parked and stood staring at the three-story building. His apartment was on the top floor. He'd liked it that way because it had afforded him the best view of the city. He walked into the building, his cap pulled low over his face in case someone recognized him. When he passed two women, he kept his head down as they hurried by him.

Upstairs, he paused at his front door with a sigh. Touching the door handle, he pressed his forehead against the cool metallic door and let out a deep breath. His chest was tight with tension when he punched in the numbers on the key bank and the lock snapped open.

He entered the house with a heavy heart. Nothing had changed, he thought as he removed his boots. He noted that his leather jacket still hang on a hook on the coat rack. A framed picture of the city of Seoul hang on the wall behind the coat rack, it was a gift from Junghee when he'd first moved in.

The front hall flowed into a living room, with floor length tinted windows on each side. He'd turned the space on his left into a game room filled with video games, an entertainment center, and a pool table. A living area to his right spotted an eclectic collection of comfortable couches with over-sized pillows. He'd often dropped those pillows on the carpet to lay on them when it rained. There was something soothing about watching the rain.

He paused when he saw the figure seated on the floor by the windows.

_Jaesun_ , he thought.

Jaesun turned to look at him and his heart squeezed painfully. So handsome, those light brown eyes drew him closer. He closed the distance between them in a daze.

Jaesun stood gracefully to reveal a black shirt and slacks that fit him to perfection. His hair was a light brown; Jae stared at him helplessly.

"It's been a long time." Jae said breaking the silence.

"You came," Jaesun said. "I didn't think you would. I thought you'd changed your phone number."

Jae shrugged.

He'd turned off his phone when he left for Gong. Last night, he'd found it in his suitcase and turned it on. He hadn't expected Jaesun to keep his number after all that had happened.

"Why did you want to see me?" he asked now.

Jaesun stared at him for a moment before he turned back to the windows. The urge to close the distance between them and lay his head on Jaesun's back was so strong...he gritted his teeth.

Jaesun sank to the floor again and parted the space on his right.

It took all he had to walk over and sit on the floor without touching Jaesun. It felt like every atom in his body clamored to get closer to Jaesun, but he couldn't allow it. They were worlds apart now, he thought staring out the tinted windows into the sunny day.

They sat side by side for the next twenty minutes, quiet, not moving. Jae crossed his feet and his hands on his lap.

When he couldn't take the silence anymore, Jae asked, "Why are we here?"

Jaesun shifted beside him.

"I missed you, _hyung_. I've missed you so much I thought I couldn't bear it."

Jae shook his head. "Is that all you wanted to say to me?"

"What else?" Jaesun asked turning to look at him.

Jae looked into Jaesun's eyes and felt a cold chill run through him when Jaesun's eyebrow rose up.

"Were you expecting an apology?"

Jae looked away and shook his head. "I guess that's not your style."

"I've always hated how well you know me, _hyung_."

Jae moved to stand up. "This was a mistake."

He stopped when Jaesun grabbed his shoulder. "Please don't go-"

"You left us," Jae rounded on him angrily. "You chose them."

"What did you want me to do?" Jaesun asked his hand dropping away from Jae's shoulder. "Are you happy living without N-sang? You can't get on stage, can't sing, and you're working with Mr. Suk. Haven't you lost your mind?"

"He got N-sang off our backs." Jae snapped not happy that Jaesun was throwing Dan's reputation at him. He was having a hard time dealing with it himself. "I plan my own day, Jaesun and keep my own money."

"Do you think that's going to get you back on stage? I know you, Jae. I know what the stage means for you and being unable to perform is going to kill you slowly."

Jae jerked away from him and got to his feet. Did Jaesun think he didn't know? He had nightmares about never being on stage again. He wiped a hand down his face.

"I'm sure you're living your dream, J.P.," he said sarcastically. "N-sang must be treating you like their golden boy. Did they offer you unending fame?"

"Yes, and they're working hard to prove you wrong," Jaesun said also getting to his feet. "I'm so happy, I can't describe it."

Jae nodded fighting pain, keeping it at bay. "Then stop looking for me."

"I just wrote a message, you should have stayed at home with Junghee and Andre."

Jae started toward the door determined to leave before he broke apart, but Jaesun ran ahead of him. The walls he'd built high to protect his heart crashed when Jaesun dragged him into his arms. Closing his eyes, he trembled when Jaesun ran gentle fingers through his hair and held him tight.

It had been so long, he'd forgotten how quickly he could drown in Jaesun's arms. His fingers bunched Jaesun's shirt and he lifted his head. Jaesun met his lips, and they kissed. Desperately taking, he moaned when Jaesun bit his lower lip and sucked on the sting. He'd missed this so much he could barely think. Couldn't protest when Jaesun tugged his shirt off, could only moan when Jaesun's lips trailed down his chest, leaving maddening kisses on his nipples, down his stomach. His breath quickened when Jaesun undid his trousers. Another harsh gasp escaped when Jaesun's mouth took his erection in his mouth. Jae's fingers sunk into Jaesun's hair and he gave up on all the reasons why this was wrong.

They made love feverishly on the living room carpet. He cried out in pleasure when Jaesun took him, their fingers tangled, bodies sweat-slicked, he held on as Jaesun rocked him into mind-blowing pleasure. He wrapped his arms around Jaesun when they both came and collapsed on the floor. Running fingers through Jaesun's brown hair, he pressed a wet kiss into Jaesun's neck and fell asleep.

A buzzing phone woke him up, rubbing his eyes; Jae sat up to find Jaesun dressing. He tried not to feel hurt, but Jaesun wouldn't meet his gaze or look at him.

"What time is it?" Jae asked watching Jaesun wear his trousers.

"Five o'clock," Jaesun said tightly. "I'm late."

"Late?" Jae asked with a frown glancing out the windows. The sun was going down. He sighed, reached for his briefs and stood up to wear them. "Jaesun-"

"I have to go." Jaesun cut him off sorting through their clothes.

Jae frowned when his black t-shirt landed on his head. He wore it with a huff.

"We're not going to talk about us? Are we just going to keep this up?"

"We can't be seen together _, ever_ , not even as friends. You made sure of that. Gods, why didn't you listen to me when I begged you to let the lawsuit go?"

Jae threw his hands up and shook his head. "What am I supposed to say to that?"

Jaesun wore his t-shirt and finger combed his hair. "I don't know."

"We won, you know," Jae said quietly. "We're free to do what we want."

"And you think N-sang will just watch you?" Jaesun asked with a scoff. "Come on, Jae, even you must know it's not going to be that easy. You've even trusted a man tied to the mob and suspected of fraud-"

"Those are rumors," Jae cut him off shocked that he felt the need to defend Dan. "You don't know what you're talking about."

Jaesun shook his head and came to stand before him. "I know that I can't be with you anymore. That's why I called you, Jae. I prayed you wouldn't come because I wanted to let it end, but you-"

" _You_ visited my mother," Jae reminded him. "She told me what you told her."

"I do love you, Kim Jaehan."

The declaration was flat, painfully hollow; it made him ache with pity for both of them. He froze when Jaesun kissed him. Unlike the fire he'd felt earlier when they'd kissed, this time their kiss felt cold. Distant, like a goodbye, his heart broke, the pieces really crushing into smaller pieces.

Jaesun ended the kiss and touched his jaw with gentle fingers. When he spoke, his tone was cold, as Jae imagined the icecaps on mountains to be.

"I have to concentrate on rebuilding trust with N-sang. I don't want to lose everything."

Jae stepped away from him.

"Is that what you think has happened to me? To us?" he asked.

"Isn't it?" Jaesun replied with a frown. "I don't think you can-"

"Stop," Jae whispered. "Don't say anymore."

"Why?" Jaesun asked, his eyes glittering with an emotion Jae didn't understand. "Do you think you're the only who's suffered in the last few months?"

Jae turned away from him. "Go before we hurt each other worse than we already have."

Jaesun scoffed and cursed under his breath. "If you think we hadn't, you must be living in the clouds."

Jae fought back the tears until he heard the lock beep closed. Grabbing up his trousers, he pulled them on and stalked to the kitchen. He was an idiot. He wasn't sure what he'd expected when they'd met again, but seriously. Used then discarded like a tissue was too much of a cliché.

Opening the top cupboards above the sink, he pulled out a bottle of whiskey. Taking a glass forgotten on the dish rack, he poured himself a healthy drink and swallowed the burning liquid with a grimace.

****

Dan changed the channels on the television at Junghee's house while he waited for Jae to come back. Junghee had insisted Jae would return in a few hours but it was almost ten o'clock at night. He sighed as he thought about the mound of work he still had to do. The more time he spent with Jae, Junghee and Andre, the more determined he was to help them. He liked their bond; they treated each other like true brothers.

Rebellion was a small family.

Jae was the oldest, he tried to keep it together for the rest of them but it wasn't easy. Dan had seen it during the past six weeks. Jae appeared strong, but deep inside; Jae was hurting, and lonely. Maybe that's why he was so attracted to the younger man. He had a thing for broken and vulnerable handsome men.

Junghee was the balance. He followed Jae's lead but took over the lead when Jae was unsure. Andre was the wild one, he thought. The youngest member of rebellion, Andre was passionate about his music and was determined to get back on stage no matter the cost. Somehow, their personalities matched and they had created a family.

He was envious of their trust circle and wanted to break in and be one of them, but it was hard. The circle was too tight.

"Dan," Junghee said walking into the living room. "I need your help."

"What's wrong?" he turned off the television and stood concerned by Junghee's frown.

Junghee held out a paper with an address.

"Jaehan is at this address. None of us can go there without a mob showing up, so...will you get him please?"

Dan took the paper and read the address. "His old apartment...what is he doing there? I thought you said he went out to run an errand."

"I'm sorry. Please just get him. I would but-"

"That place is being watched by all kinds of people," Dan sighed and reached for his car keys. "I'll go."

"Thanks." Junghee bowed his head grateful. "He might be-"

"Don't worry; I'll take care of him," he promised and hurried out.

Dan drove to Cheongdam-dong with a mixture of irritation and worry. Reporters and obsessed fans knew Jae's apartment too well these days. Any one of them could be waiting for Jae as he left the building. What had Jae been thinking?

He thought back to their brunch this morning.

Jae had seemed distracted after the messages he'd received, but what stood out more was the worried glance that Junghee and Andre had shared. He was happy to find a quiet parking lot when he got to Jae's building. Going upstairs, he paused at the door to get the paper Junghee had used to write the lock code.

The lock hissed open and he stepped into an elegant hall that flowed into an airy living room. The place was dark, but he could see the figure seated on the carpet in the living room. Removing his shoes, he moved to the closest wall and searched for a switch. Turning on the lights, he stepped down into the living area, and headed to Jae who sat on the carpet his back against the couch.

"What are you doing in the dark?" Dan asked sitting on a wooden coffee table.

"Suk Dan, come to mount a rescue?" Jae slurred out, his head bent, his dark hair covering his face.

Dan sighed as he realized Jae was drunk. "What am I going to do with you?"

****

**5. No! I won't watch you mope**

Dan helped Jae into the bathroom in the master bedroom. He settled him on the toilet seat and turned on the shower in the huge glass stall. Making sure to regulate the water until it was lukewarm.

He turned back to find Jae bent over the toilet bowl heaving. Dan held back his own urge to puke when Jae let out the contents of his stomach. He always ended up puking in such situations. His mother had called him a sympathetic puker when she was alive. Jae hugged the toilet bowl and heaved again, his dark hair falling over his face. Controlling his sense of smell, Dan moved to push Jae's hair away from his face.

"Why did you drink so much?" he complained.

Jae scowled at him and gave another dry heave. Two more times and the puking ended. Dan gratefully hit the flush button on the toilet.

"You need to clear your head. Get into the shower," Dan said when Jae sat on the floor.

"No," Jae complained pressing his forehead into his knees. "Go away, leave me-"

"Shower," Dan insisted tugging Jae's black t-shirt. "Come on, I'll let you argue with me later. Right now, get in the shower."

"When you're here?" Jae protested when Dan tugged his t-shirt off and dumped it on the floor. "No way-"

"Yes way," Dan said. "There is nothing to be shy about."

He pulled Jae up to his feet. Thankfully, the combination of booze and stomach upset made Jae easy to manipulate. In minutes, he'd stripped the younger man and was pushing him into the shower. Dan didn't miss the red marks along Jae's shoulder and his neck. He wondered whom Jae had spent the day with and a stab of jealousy lashed through him.

Jae groaned when the water splashed on his face and snarled. "I can handle it from here."

"Five minutes," Dan told him before he closed the shower door.

He figured the person Jae had spent the day with was probably the reason for the drinking. Collecting Jae's clothes from the floor, he sighed and headed into the bedroom.

His phone buzzed and he answered without glancing at the caller ID.

"Did you find him?" Junghee asked.

"Yeah, don't worry I'll-"

"Turn on the television. You're going to need help getting out of there," Junghee cut in worriedly. "Someone saw Jaesun leaving the building. Reporters have swarmed the place; obviously, they believe Jae is upstairs. I should warn you that the last time a few reporters got into the building."

Dumping Jae's dirty clothes on the bed, Dan reached for the remote on the bedside table and turned on the flat screen on the wall across the bed. Sure enough, a clip of Jaesun rushing into a van kept replaying, the camera returning to the windows on the top floor of the building.

"I'll handle it," he said to Junghee. "You two don't leave the house 'til this dies down."

"Are you sure-," Junghee started.

"This is my job now," he said firmly. Junghee made an impatient sound on his end.

"Fine, keep me updated."

Junghee ended the call and Dan watched the reporters waiting outside Jae's building.

"Damn it," he cursed under his breath.

The stubborn mule in the bathroom should have stayed at Junghee's with them instead of coming here.

Why would Jae see Jaesun?

The marks on Jae's neck filled his head. Dan cursed again and scrolled through the names on his phone. He paused, thinking about those marks, love bites really, could they be _from Jaesun_?

Kim Jaehan you idiot," he shook his head and dialed his lawyer, Mr. Chang. "I need you."

"What's up?"

"Reporters, I need to get Kim Jaehan out of his old apartment."

"Alright, I'm on the way."

Dan muted the television and glanced at his watch.

"Fifteen minutes, we need to leave before they start entering the building."

Ending the call, Dan hurried to the closet to get clothes for Jaehan and Mr. Chang. He was going to use his lawyer as a decoy.

Ten minutes later, he had Jae reasonably sober, and dressed. Mr. Chang knocked on the door just as Jae was pulling on a black jacket.

"Wear this," Dan handed Chang a shiny black hoody he'd gotten from Jae's closet. It drew enough attention to fool the reporters that Mr. Chang was Jae. Handing over dark glasses, keys and a cap, he continued, "There is a motorcycle in the back, use it. Where did you park?"

"Underground parking," Chang replied.

"Give me your keys. We'll just have to get my car tomorrow."

Dan sighed and went back into the apartment to get Jae.

When they returned, Jae nodded to Chang and Dan said, "We'll leave the moment you get their attention. Please drive carefully."

Chang flashed them a smile.

"I've always wanted to be mistaken for a superstar."

"Well, here's your wish, hurry it up," Dan said, glancing at Jae.

Jae looked ready to pass out soon, the faster they got in the car to safety the better. Locking the apartment door behind them, they headed for the stairwell while Chang took the elevator. Dan clutched Jae's arm as they went down the stairs, keeping him steady.

"From now on call me when you want to drink until you can't think," he said.

"Why?" Jae asked.

"Just do it, Jae," Dan insisted.

They paused just inside the stairwell on the ground floor. Peering through the glass, Dan watched a wild group of reporters following Chang out the back entrance. They snapped pictures as they called out questions.

Dan wrapped an arm around Jae's shoulders and led him downstairs to the underground parking. Chang had parked his car right by the elevators. Bundling Jae into the back seat of the town car, he got into the driver's side and drove out of the building at a sedate pace. He paused at the parking lot entrance long enough to see Chang speed off in the opposite direction.

Joining traffic, Dan looked through the rear view mirror to find Jae watching him. Shifting the gears on the car, he met Jae's gaze again and ordered.

"Don't meet Jaesun again. You and he are history now, do you understand, Jae?"

Jae held his gaze for a moment before he responded with a slight nod.

***

"Why did you go to see Jaesun?" Junghee demanded the next morning.

Jae sat on his bed, his back against the headboard while Junghee paced the foot of the bed.

"When are you going to stop punishing yourself?"

"I needed to clear something with him," Jae said quietly.

Not that it mattered, he'd just felt dirty after Jaesun had left. Even the shower Dan had forced him to take hadn't taken away the disgust.

"Please just let it go."

"You got drunk, Dan had to get you. You have no idea what kind of problems you caused last night."

"I apologized already," Jae said with a sigh. "I've even promised to follow what he says. Jeez, stop yelling, my head is throbbing."

"You're such a pain," Junghee said glaring at him. "Jaesun, _always Jaesun_ , did you stop to think what you two being seen together would do to the rest of us?"

Jae gritted his teeth and brought his knees up to his chin. He didn't know what else to say to stop Junghee's anger.

"That's enough," Andre said coming into the bedroom. "We can't keep fighting over someone who's not here. Junghee, stop yelling at _hyung_ , he has a lot on his mind."

Jae glanced at Andre.

"Things aren't going to be the same anymore. You two need to stop thinking of me as _hyung_ from now on. I'm not going to lead you, or expect you to lead me. I'm having a hard time just as you are. Please just call me Jae from now on."

" _Hyung_ ," Andre started to say.

Jae shook his head, ready to beg that they stop calling him older brother. He was so lost; he couldn't tell where they were heading anymore. He just didn't know.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you," Junghee said then sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I was just so worried. The last time reporters camped at your house, you had a rough time. Please don't do that again."

"I'm going to give up that place," Jae announced, his gaze on the covers. "There is nothing for me there anymore."

Andre came to sit next to him on the bed and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"Alright, Jae," Andre said gently. "We'll start from scratch."

"I'm tired," Jae said after a few minutes. "Can you guys let me sleep for two hours? Please?"

Andre sighed and stood.

"Sure," Andre said.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Junghee asked watching him keenly.

"I'm fine," Jae lied as he stretched out on his bed.

The truth was he had no idea how he felt. Everything was swirling in big dark cloud and he didn't know what to hold on to anymore. Maybe leaving and going back to Gong was best. What were they even fighting for, when they couldn't perform anymore?

"No sleeping," Dan interrupted his thoughts from the doorway. "Wake up, Jae. We have a lot of work to do."

"What work?" Jae asked hugging a pillow.

"Get out of bed, and let's go to the living room. Junghee, Andre, let's go."

Dan's glare didn't leave much room for protest. Junghee and Andre stood for a moment in surprise, when Dan pointed to the living room, they both rushed out.

_The little traitors_ , Jae thought as he sat up on the bed.

"Why are you ordering them around?" Jae demanded. "Is this your house?"

"It's Junghee's, not yours. Get out of bed."

"No," Jae stated annoyed by Dan's entitlement.

"Don't make me come over there," Dan warned.

"What are you going to do? Beat me," Jae chuckled. "I'd like to see you try."

Dan narrowed his gaze and left the bedroom.

Jae lay down in satisfaction, happy to have won that small battle and hugged his pillow. He was too depressed to deal with Dan today. It would take at least a week before he could listen to Dan. Closing his eyes, he was getting ready to drift into sleep when cold water hit his face, drenching his clothes, hair, and his pillow. Jumping out of the bed, wiping his face, he stared in shock at Dan who stood a few feet away holding an empty jar.

"Good, you're out of bed, come into the living room, now," Dan said with a small grin. As he left, Dan glanced at him. "If I come back, I'm bringing bigger ice cubes."

Removing his t-shirt, he used it to wipe his face and cursed.

***

He walked into the living room five minutes later in a fresh t-shirt, his hair damp from Dan's impromptu wash. His bandmates carefully refused to meet his gaze until he took a seat.

Andre passed him a folder from the coffee table.

"So what is your plan?" Junghee asked turning to Dan who sat in an armchair ignoring his entrance.

"The current attitude in this city won't allow Rebellion on stage," Dan said. "N-sang has too much power over the music industry. Even if you won the lawsuit against them and had their objections rejected, they have pressured everyone that matters. You can't sell your music. A friend of mine sent me a memo N-sang shared with all their business associates. Song writers, vocal training coaches, music program producers, online digital music distributors, album distributors, they've all received this memo and your albums were removed from the shelves."

Andre gave a little sigh. Jae hated the forlorn expression that fell over Andre's face; he turned to Dan hoping that this man had good news for them.

"I have thought about this situation hard and the only solution is for Rebellion to release an album overseas. Somewhere without N-sang's influence, that's the only choice left."

_Overseas_ , Jae thought thinking of this new challenge. They'd have to learn foreign languages to survive. He shuddered at the thought. His English was weak. Andre had some English, so only Junghee was the strongest in that respect.

"We have to be realistic," Dan said noting their stricken expressions. "You're faced with a situation I can't describe. There is no easy solution in this country."

"There's no way to fight what's happening to us?" Junghee asked with a sigh.

Dan placed the folder on his lap on the coffee table.

"When you're a worm, you have to crawl first, turn into a cocoon and recuperate before you reach the stage where you turn into a butterfly. Do you understand?"

Dan picked up a picture of Rebellion on the table and tore it into pieces. He dumped the pieces on top of the table and declared.

"You have to forget you ever were Black Shade or Rebellion," Dan insisted in a quiet firm tone. "Jaehan, Junghee and Andre, you're ordinary young men starting from zero. Nothing is easy, and you don't know fame. You're starting over."

Jae let out a deep breath and looked at Dan.

He should have realized this was where they'd end up the moment they'd decided to walk out on N-sang Entertainment. The starting line, again, his gaze hardened with determination.

"How far have you reached with Rand Agency?" he asked quietly.

"My lawyer is working with your lawyers. Japan is out of the question. You can't promote your music there. Besides, the reason why the press was so interested in Jaesun's whereabouts yesterday has to do with Rand Agency."

"What does that mean?" Junghee asked confused.

"N-sang and Rand have joined hands as of yesterday. Jaesun and all other N-sang artists will work in Japan using Rand Agency."

Andre threw the folder Dan had given them on the coffee table in anger. "So, they interfered with our music and joined with our old agency to make more profits."

All Jae could think was this was the reason why Jaesun had called him yesterday. Had he wanted to tell him, and then they'd ended doing other things-, he shook his head feeling sick.

"Why are we doing this?" Jae asked quietly looking at Dan. "What's the point, N-sang will find a way to interfere even if we leave."

"They might," Dan replied holding his gaze. "But unless you try, Jae, you're never going to find out if you can win against them."

"Where would we go?"

"The world is pretty big out there." Dan teased. "For now, you need to enroll in school in order to understand music better. We'll assess your strengths and find out what we can do from there."

"What will you do while we're in school?" Jae asked with a frown.

This had to be a mutual arrangement and without any income coming from their activities. He needed to understand why Dan was sticking around.

"If you'll open your folders, you'll find an agreement. All your troubles in the past year have come from having exclusive contracts. Therefore, we're not going to sign any contract. Suk Dan is not signing on Rebellion or former Black Shade to his company. I'm forming an entertainment and management company and you're going to be my partners."

Jae gave Dan a skeptical glance. No one would start a company and invite partners who couldn't even perform. "You're out of your mind."

"Have your lawyer look over those documents. We're partners, from now on," Dan repeated solemnly. "Whatever profits our company gains, we're going to share them. This is the best way for all of you to protect yourselves."

Jae sobered and skimmed over the paperwork in his folder. "We're going into business together? Is that what you really want, Suk Dan?"

Dan nodded. "Yes it is. I'm going to give my best, and so should you. We've nothing to lose if it doesn't work out. We've everything to gain if it does. What do you say?"

Jae met Andre and Junghee's gazes before he nodded. "We'll have Kang Sang, our lawyer, go through these documents. If they're good, then we'll do it. As for schooling and all that, I'll leave it to you. We'll follow your lead."

****

**Can you see the Real me?**

Having trained musically from the age of sixteen, admission into a university wasn't hard. Their problems came with language. In Paris, classes were in French, none of them felt confident to start learning the language. The same applied for Germany and Italy, which left the U.S. as the only option. They could get by with the English they'd all learned during training.

To strengthen their confidence, Dan enrolled them in a comprehensive English course while they auditioned for admission in schools in the U.S. For six months, they studied English, ignoring the music industry around them. Jae found it soothing to have a goal. When their admission letters arrived, they celebrated at a small restaurant with Dan. Berklee had admitted them for a comprehensive two-year artist diploma course based on their accomplishments so far.

Before he left, Jae spent three hours on the phone explaining to his mother the reasons why he had to leave the country. She cried, and he did his best to comfort her, but in the end, he couldn't stay. Rebellion didn't have a place in Seoul anymore.

***

**Two Years later**

Dan drove up to the loft they'd rented for Rebellion's stay in Boston. Parking his car, he stepped out in the cool April weather; the snow was gone, flowers blooming in the surrounding gardens. He took three bags of grocery shopping from the back seat and locked the car. There was promise in the air he thought as he entered the building and went upstairs to the loft. Using the key they'd given him to unlock the door, he paused to remove his shoes and wear sandals.

"Junghee, Andre," he called out looking around the wide-open living area.

Mismatched couches filled the space, over-sized cushions scattered on every inch of the hardwood floors, in one corner of the living room he could tell a video game marathon had taken place.

"Jae?"

When there was no answer, he headed to the kitchen where he stowed away the grocery shopping he'd brought. Fruits and vegetables filled the bottom part of the fridge, Dan was happy to see they were at least keeping healthy. Making his way back to the living room, he decided to check the bedrooms.

Junghee and Andre's rooms were empty. Stopping at the room at the end of the corridor, he paused at the door when he saw Jae sprawled on a silver gray bedspread. The room was clean, despite the dirty laundry in a pile by the closet. There was a neat desk stacked with music sheets and a laptop. There was a piano beside the desk and recording equipment on a short table. Jae had taken to writing music like water.

Jae shifted on the bed, drawing his gaze back to his sleeping figure.

Dan moved closer to the bed and stood watching Jae sleep. He looked peaceful, like an innocent child. Although, that innocence was only present when Jae was like this. In the past two years, Jae had changed. No longer trusting, he lived, breathed and ate music. He'd immersed himself so deep in the craft, he rarely discussed anything else, if they weren't talking music, then they discussed business.

Dan feared Jae had turned the disappointments he'd faced at home into a hunger for knowledge. Not that it was a bad thing, no...Dan sighed. He just wished Jae would stop and notice other things...other people.

Jae shifted and suddenly those light brown eyes were open.

Dan felt the impact of that sleepy stare so deep inside him he had to take a step back.

Jae yawned and rubbed his eyes. Sitting up, he pushed his hair back from his face.

"You're here," Jae said as though noting the weather. "You should have woken me up, what time is it?"

Dan glanced at his watch. "It's almost eleven o'clock. Were you up all night again?"

Jae nodded. "Yeah, we had a performance at a local club last night. When I got home, I had to finish some work I need to turn in before graduation."

Jae slid out of bed and stretched. He'd grown taller, by an inch, Dan thought in amusement. Still skinny, though he worked out like a maniac, forever running, or riding his bicycle.

Every time Dan thought about Jae's body, he remembered the night he'd pushed him into the shower after the drinking binge. The dreams he'd endured over the last two years, he sighed and looked away from Jae.

"Where is everyone else?" Dan asked walking to the windows to stare out into the street.

"Ah...probably out for brunch. One of the professors invited us last night."

Dan turned in time to see Jae pull off his white t-shirt and throw it to the growing pile in the corner. He paused when he noticed a tattoo on Jae's left shoulder blade. He looked away when Jae turned afraid to betray his true feelings.

"Did you manage?" Jae asked as he went into his closet to dress for the day.

Dan cleared his throat and leaned on the wall beside the window as Jae rummaged in his closet.

"Yes, our company is officially registered. Jade Entertainment is currently running two actors and one musician in Seoul. All three have won awards this last year."

"Will they find us if they check the registration?" Jae demanded. "I would hate for all three to suffer if N-sang found out we own Jade."

"No, they won't find you. The same way no one knows you own Kim Café." Dan promised.

Jae walked out of the closet in faded blue jeans and a gray V-neck shirt. He looked so handsome, Dan wanted to pull him into his arms and kiss him.

Dragging slender fingers through silky dark hair, Jae sat on the bed to wear socks.

"I've been having nightmares for weeks about that." Jae confessed with a sigh. "Those bastards still want a fight, and we're not ready. One misstep and we'll be back to zero."

"Don't worry so much," he soothed. "Concentrate on your music and getting ready for the next part of this."

Jae finished with his socks and turned on the bed to give him a brilliant smile. "That's the fun part, right? We'll be back on stage."

He couldn't help but return that smile. "Of course, that's where you belong. Jae, you've really changed you know."

"What?" Jae looked at him with a raised eyebrow, making him laugh.

"That's more like it. I was so happy when you started making sentences when you talked to me I forgot that was your favorite word."

Jae stared at him blankly.

"When we first met," Dan reminded him. "All you'd tell me was ' _what_ ' with this annoyed expression on your face. It made me feel worried you'd never trust me."

Jae smiled and stood.

"Well, that was then, this is now. C.E.O Suk, I trust you most in my life now, next to Junghee, Andre and my mum."

Dan felt a wave of happiness at that simple declaration. They had barely started on their battle; it was good to know he'd at least gained trust. They were going to need it by the time this ended.

"Are you hungry?" he asked Jae. "I'll make you breakfast."

"It's almost eleven," Jae pointed out as they headed out of his bedroom. "Shouldn't you be making lunch?"

Dan placed an arm around Jae's shoulders.

"Isn't it more fun to eat breakfast at eleven? Come on, I'll even make you your favorite, egg toast."

"Since when is that my favorite," Jae said with a faux scowl.

"Since I made it for you and all you could do was moan and eat it like a starved child." Dan teased him. "After you eat, we can discuss business. I think I've found a way to get you back in to the South Korea market, but it's a crazy plan and it's going to need work."

"Didn't you know?" Jae asked as they entered the kitchen. "I'm in the business of overworking and crazy dreams."

****

**6. My plan, Your Plan, Our Plan**

Dan beamed impressed by the sight of Jae, Junghee and Andre on stage. Their sound had changed; he'd consider them a rock band now far from the pop music band he remembered two years ago. Rebellion had broken into the formidable rock genre, exploring hard rock and metal with Jae singing lead vocals, Junghee playing guitar and Andre playing bass or piano. They'd hired a drummer to complete the feel of their music and written all their lyrics in English.

Jae crooned their album's cover song, _Save Me_ , the lament of a man struggling to live after he'd lost the love of his life. His voice raw with emotion spilled over the audience with soulful power as they sung along with him.

Dan marveled at the power Jae held as he clung to the microphone, singing with every cell in his body. His passion moving his audience who if not singing were banging their heads to the music. When Jae broke off in the chorus, the audience took over while Junghee, Andre, and the drummer traveling with them played.

The trio had officially finished college four months ago. Jae, Junghee and Andre had decided to start working on the plan they'd created immediately. They'd compiled a new album using music they'd written and recorded in the past two years and called it _Rough Terrain_. During the writing process, each member of Rebellion had focused on his strengths. Jae's being his powerful, emotion evoking vocals. He'd also penned most of the lyrics. Junghee had written all the guitar music, working with Andre they'd composed and arranged the music in the album. Dan had felt shaken after he'd listened to the finished product. Wrenching music with lyrics written straight from the heart, to Dan, the entire album felt like a diary of the trio's lives. Their lyrics reflecting the pain, anger, hurt, and betrayal Rebellion had faced in Seoul. Jae had called their writing process _'the purge'_.

Dan leaned against a pillar in the club watching Jae serenade the women standing closest to him. They reached out to touch his arm, a few screaming when he leaned closer as he sang. Jealousy coursed through him when one stole a kiss. Jae smiled and kept singing, not missing a beat, his hair wet with sweat, as he banged his head to the music.

Rebellion was alive and well, Dan thought as Jae's magnetism took over their audience.

Jade Entertainment had released the album online, on digital platforms that had no connection to Seoul. The moment their music had gone live, they'd all been surprised by the response. Fans in Seoul had swarmed the company's website begging for a chance to see Rebellion live. Since they weren't ready to return to the coarse atmosphere in Seoul, he'd been forced to make a formal statement saying Rebellion was focusing on a world tour instead of returning back home. Not being able to perform at home was a source of stress for the band.

They'd been on the road for two months, playing in small and large venues across the U.S. Their last show was going to be in Los Angeles, two days from today, and it would end their stay in the country. After that, they were heading to South America and then on to start an Asian tour.

Dan thought about his plan when he'd first broached it to them. He'd figured N-sang planned to make Rebellion frustrated enough to want to return to N-sang Entertainment if they wanted to sing.

If Rebellion found success elsewhere, that would render N-sang powerless. The evening before the tour started, he'd told Rebellion to make their band a success in the world before they even thought of setting foot back home.

Dan sighed now at the thought of Jae's continued obsession with success. He'd hatched the plan but Jae had taken over, clutching Dan's advice and going on a warpath.

Watching him on stage, Dan marveled at his energy as he stood next to Junghee who was playing a solo on the guitar. The crowd went wild when Jae danced to the music, running a hand down his body over his sweaty white t-shirt, mimicking Junghee's music. Dan sighed and closed his eyes not sure how much more he could take of this longing. His phone buzzed saving him.

Giving Jae one last glance, he went backstage to answer his call.

***

Jae sat on a stool to sing the last song. His eyes closed, clutching the microphone, he listened to Junghee's soulful guitar intro, joined soon after by Andre's piano. The lyrics came easy to him because they'd written the song together. He'd written the lyrics thinking of his longing to return home, wanting that chance to stand before his city and sing to his heart's content, free of any constrain or restrictions. He wished for that the most in his world. Tears filled his eyes as he sang wondering when that would ever be.

He missed home. He missed riding his bike down the streets of Gong. That place where he could just be unknown, no one caring that he was Kim Jaehan of Rebellion.

Allowing that longing into his voice, he bared his heart to the audience, hoping that if he sang hard enough; the gods would afford him that freedom once again. Junghee's guitar accompanied his plea, strings tugging his heart, melding the lyrics with his emotions and for a moment, he was all alone.

When the song ended, the applause jerked him back to the present abruptly. He blinked back tears and stared at the frenzied audience. Junghee patted his knee and grinned, the shock dissipated and he stood. Hugging Junghee, then Andre, Jae turned to the audience and gave a bow with a wide smile.

"Thank you so much for coming tonight. You've been a stunning audience," he said.

He returned the microphone on the stand, waved and left the stage. His thoughts already on their next performance and what they needed to improve.

***

"Happy Birthday to you," Dan sang carrying a cake surrounded by three dozen staff working backstage in Singapore.

They joined in the singing as he carried the cake to Jae, the candles on the cake threatening to go off. Dan slowed down and took more care with the cream cake.

Jae laughed when he saw him and the sight of Jae smiling made Dan's heart skip with joy. They'd been on the road for eight months, each city bringing them a new challenge. In Rio, Jae had gotten the stomach flu; he'd managed to work through it, despite how tired he'd looked. Junghee had fallen off the stage in Buenos Aires and twisted his arm. He'd played anyway. Then there was Andre who'd had a run-in with an overzealous fan in Lima.

_They'd gotten through it all_ , Dan thought.

Rebellion had gained popularity with each show, slowly gaining support and fans across the world. Tonight was the last concert in their Asian tour. After tonight's concert, they'd be heading home to Seoul.

Junghee and Andre tickled Jae happily, as Dan met them with the cake.

"How old are you?" he asked Jae with a smile.

Jae blushed and Junghee answered for him.

"Twenty-six," Junghee wrapped an arm around Jae's shoulders and smacked a kiss on his jaw. "How does it feel?"

Jae laughed and stared at the cake.

"I don't know yet, ask me tomorrow," he said.

"Blow the candles," Dan urged Jae. "Don't forget to make a wish."

Jae held his gaze for a moment. Dan held his breath as Jae was especially mesmerizing tonight, because of his stage make up; dark eye shadow on his lashes emphasized those expressive light brown eyes.

Dan watched Jae lean close to blow the candles on the cake. When he lifted his head, their eyes met again and Dan asked, "What did you wish for?"

Jae gave him a startling smile.

"It's a secret," he said.

Dan smiled, thinking he knew Jae's wish, and that was to be able to perform in Seoul.

The stage-crew clapped and came to wish Jae the best on his birthday and on the stage. Taking the cake to a table by the corner, he turned and almost bumped into Junghee.

"When are you going to tell him?" Junghee demanded.

"Tell him what?" Dan asked.

"How you feel about him," Junghee pointed out. "I see how you look at him. I figured the reason why you weren't saying anything was because of the tour. It's over tonight. We're heading home. Are you going to tell him?"

Dan's gaze returned to Jae who was laughing with the local staff. He looked handsome in tight fitting black leather pants, and a black V-neck shirt, dark boots and his hair cut in a short Mohawk. All the fan girls were going to die of adoration tonight, he thought.

"It's not time yet," Dan said with a sigh.

"When is it going to be the right time?" Junghee asked leaning on the table. "I keep asking Jae the same thing. We've spent the past three years working nonstop, none of us stopping to think about happiness, or the success we've managed to get because of this tour. I'm starting to hate this plan. We need to take a break and smell the flowers."

Dan dragged his gaze away from Jae to meet Junghee's questioning gaze.

"We are taking a break when we go to Seoul. You guys need to breath, before we start the real battle."

"What real battle, I thought we've been fighting it?" Junghee asked. " _Rough Terrain_ has been a success as far as I'm concerned. We've sold more albums than I'd have expected and our concerts sold out. We've made our statement, don't you think?"

Dan shrugged.

Junghee was right. Rebellion had mounted a successful tour, especially when they'd hit the Asian side. While they'd focused on smaller venues in the Americas, the Asian leg of Rebellion's tour had needed huge venues like tonight. They were in the Marina Bay Stadium with thirty thousand fans currently waiting for Rebellion's last concert.

"You've done so well, I'm beyond proud," Dan said patting Junghee's arm. "How about we have a serious talk when we get back home? I promise to listen to what you decide you want to do from here."

"Have you seen Jae's determination?" Junghee asked arching his brow. "He's not ready to slow down, even for a minute. I'm worried he's going to work himself to death."

"Don't worry about Jae. I'll talk to him," Dan promised.

He too worried, even when he shouldn't, he thought, his gaze searching and finding Jae. He laughed when he saw Andre carrying Jae on his back. Jae's arms wide open as Andre ran around the open space. At least they were in high spirits.

****

Jae sat anxiously in his seat at eight am in the morning, eight hours after their last concert Asian concert. Their plane had just landed in Seoul and he could barely wait to get out.

_Three years_ , he thought feeling emotional. He hadn't been home in three years.

"Why are you nervous?" Dan asked beside him. "No one knows we're coming."

"Are you sure?" Jae adjusted his hoody and shuddered. "I don't know why I'm so nervous. This is ridiculous."

"You're just happy to be home," Dan soothed reaching over to take his hand. "Take a deep breath and stop fidgeting, it's irritating as hell."

Jae scowled at the last remark before he did as Dan asked. Holding on to Dan's warm hand, he took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. He focused inward, calming the butterflies rioting in his stomach. Dan's fingers tightened on his and he opened his eyes to look at the steady hand holding his.

He'd never really looked at another person's hand, he thought in surprise.

Turning over their clasped hands, he studied Dan's neatly cut nails. They were clean, and short, too short he thought with a frown. Dan's hand seemed strong, but his touch was gentle. Jae touched a fading scar on Dan's thumb and wondered how that had gotten there.

"What are you doing?" Dan asked jerking his hand.

"When did you get a scar on your hand?" Jae pointed to the fading line.

Dan frowned. "I don't remember. I get so many of those hauling equipment around. Or cooking, sometimes the knife slips."

"Shouldn't you take better care?" Jae asked.

At this rate, Dan was liable to end up with no fingers. He brought Dan's hand up for a closer inspection.

"Are you worried?" Dan asked.

Jae met his inquiring gaze and for a moment, his mind went blank. Had those dark brown eyes always been so...striking? He frowned and forced his gaze away. Letting go of Dan's hand, he sat up and cleared his throat.

"Jae?" Dan prompted. "Feel better?"

"I'm quite fine," he said quickly not too sure why his anxiety had been replaced with a burning heat. Dan took his time moving his hand away.

Taking a brochure from the folder on his lap, Jae used it to fan his face.

"Ah, what's taking so long," Jae said with a sigh.

Dan chuckled and Jae tried to ignore the thrill that went through him at the sound. When they finally left the plane, they went through customs without incident. They got their luggage and headed to the exit in the arrivals lobby.

The screams that started before they entered the lobby made Jae stop in shock.

"If you don't want your bleary eyes and sleepy faces on the papers, I suggest you put on some dark glasses," Dan advised pausing to look out at the crowded arrivals lobby.

Security had created a path to the exit, through what seemed like hundreds of fans. They filled the small space like sardines.

"How the hell did they find out?" Dan asked with quiet sigh.

Jae sighed and tugged his hoody over his head. His dark glasses covering his eyes, he said, "The longer we stay here, the worse it's going to get. I hope the driver you called is ready for a mad race."

Junghee clutched his carry-on bag more tightly and Andre moved closer to Jae.

"I hope they're not here because of the darned lawsuits. I forgot what this is like," Andre said with a worried tone.

Jae turned to Dan. "Let's go, the faster we leave the better."

Dan got on his phone to call the driver and urged them forward.

"Keep a brisk pace; we'll get out as fast as we can."

Jae held Andre's arm as they headed out in to the lobby. The screams were deafening, the camera flashes blinding, he tried not to glance at them but it was impossible. The banners their screaming fans held up made him falter in surprise.

They read ' _Welcome Home Rebellion'_. His hold on Andre's arm tightened.

"Keep moving, Jae," Dan advised.

The energy he was reading from their fans was positive; there was no malice, just joy. Keeping up with Dan, he was grateful when they finally got outside and he saw a black van waiting. Urging Andre in first, he turned to make sure Junghee got in.

"Jaehan- _oppa_ we love you, welcome home." Someone screamed from the crowd and he waved as Dan closed the door.

They drove out of the parking lot in silence. When they hit the highway headed to Junghee's house in Seongbuk-dong, Andre looked at him then turned to Junghee, when neither of them spoke he gave an impatient sigh.

"Are we going to talk about the crowd of happy fans we just met?" Andre asked. "They've certainly changed their tune. We were pariahs when we were leaving."

Jae shook his head and kept his gaze on Dan who sat in the front passenger seat with the driver. Thinking about Seoul and the challenge waiting was enough to make him curl up into a ball. He wanted to feel free, happy that their fans had met them at the airport. But-, he couldn't because he had no clue when they were going to sing for them in Seoul again, if at all.

"Jae," Junghee leaned forward so that he folded his arms on Jae's seat. "We should take a break. I want to visit my parents and find out how Kang Sang and his fiancé are doing."

Andre nodded in agreement. "Me too, I need to see my brother, talk to a few friends."

Jae sighed. "Yeah, that sounds good. Although we shouldn't rest for so long, there are things we need to do."

"I know." Junghee said patting Jae's shoulder. "But, even with those things, we still need to take time off. Isn't that why we left N-sang in the first place? Besides, you should go visit your parents and deal with your business. I'm sure your business manager misses you. Let's take a month off."

Jae started to protest but Dan turned in his seat at the front and backed Junghee.

"I think that's a good idea," Dan said.

Andre smiled happily. "I'm going to sleep for a week," he declared before Jae had a chance to protest.

Seeing the excitement on Junghee and Andre's faces, Jae gave in. "Fine, a month sounds good."

When they got to Junghee's house, Andre ran off to call his brother while Junghee went upstairs to sleep. Jae helped Dan carry in their luggage.

"I might as well head home to Gong," Jae said when Dan moved to take his luggage. "Just leave it and-,"

"You want to leave now?"

"Isn't it better? The van will work just fine." Jae handed the driver Junghee's bag to take in to the house. "If we're taking a month off, I'd like to see my mum."

Dan nodded and glanced at the van. "Don't take the van; I'm sure your _sasaeng_ fans have memorized the number plates. You take it to Gong and they'll find your family."

Jae chuckled.

"Dan, do you know I don't actually own a car? My old car belonged to N-sang. When they took it away, I bought a motorcycle."

"Junghee told me," Dan said when the driver came back out.

"I'm too tired to ride my motorcycle all the way to Gong." Jae confessed rubbing the back of his neck.

Dan nodded and took his arm. "I know, get in the van, I'll take you somewhere."

"Right now," Jae whined.

"Yes, right now." Dan said dragging him into the van. He gave the driver an address and closed the van door. "I was busy too when you were working in Boston."

"Doing what," Jae asked leaning back in his seat tired.

Dan gave him a mysterious smile that sent crazy thrills running down his spine. He looked away and watched the scenery instead because he wasn't ready to examine those thrills just yet. He closed his eyes to rest them for a few minutes. He must have dozed off because the van had stopped when Dan touched his arm to wake him.

"Jae, come on," Dan said urgently.

He sat up and followed Dan out of the van. The moment he got out, the driver drove off fast, and Jae stared after him with a frown.

"Your crazy fans are following the van," Dan explained. "The driver lost them for a few minutes and I told him to stop us here. We're not too far away."

Jae's frown deepened as Dan took his hand and his bag and led him down a deserted tarmac road. Too tired, he yawned and looked around the forested area.

"Where are we?"

"Pyeongchang-dong," Dan replied walking fast and forcing him to follow. They turned on to a gravel road and Dan slowed down.

"What are we doing in Pyeongchang-dong?" Jae asked following blindly, Dan held his hand tight, his footsteps sure.

They walked up to a high black gate and Dan urged him through a small side gate. The guard greeted them with a bow and Dan returned it negligently as he led him farther into the property.

"Whose house are we about to rob?" Jae asked when he saw the huge two-story brick house.

"Yours," Dan said taking him to the front door.

"Mine?" Jae looked around the compound in a bit of surprise. "How, when? _What_?"

"You gave up your apartment and gave me permission to move your belongings. I had to find a place to take all that stuff, so now you own a house."

Dan used a key he had in his pocket to open the lock on the heavy door. He handed the key to Jae.

"Your lawyer, Kang Sang handled the settlement. The title is in your name, Jade Entertainment does not have any claim on your property."

Jae took the key with a shaking hand. "Why?"

"What?" Dan asked.

"Why would you do this for me?" Jae asked. "You're not obligated to take care of me, Dan. You didn't need to do this."

Jae looked around the property in awe. The high wall beyond the trees kept any prying eyes away, the trees scattered on the grounds blocked any cameras, and the house was perfect.

He clutched the key and asked again, "Why?"

Dan took his hand and led him into the house. Jae had barely stepped over the threshold when Dan pushed him against the wall just inside the house. Dan dropped his bag on the floor and closed the distance between them. Jae felt his breath rush out when Dan's clean mint scent invaded his senses.

"You ask me why, your eyes pleading for a truth you're not ready to hear," Dan said, his face close, too close, Jae thought his heart thundering in his ears. "Are you sure you want to know the answer?"

Jae frowned and nodded yes.

Dan brought a hand up to his jaw, his fingers caressing, his gaze studying Jae's lips. Jae gasped when he saw desire burning in dark brown eyes. Bringing his hands up to push Dan away and escape, his fingers bunched in Dan's shirt when hot lips covered his in a kiss.

Jae froze, wanting to push Dan away, but instead pulling him closer. Dan responded by angling his head slightly so that their lips fit perfectly. Cupping his jaw, Dan deepened their kiss. Jae closed his eyes, tasting soft warm lips, mint sweets, and Dan. He tried to move away as reasons why this wasn't right flooded him but Dan swept his tongue over his lips. He parted them and Dan slipped his tongue in and explored. A delicious heat surged through him, pleasure he couldn't ignore, pleasure he wanted, he pushed away all the reasons why he should stop this. He unclenched his fingers from Dan's shirt, and slipped his hands around Dan's waist to pull him closer. A soft moan escaped when Dan's teeth nipped his bottom lip and sucked on the sting slowly driving him mad.

Dan broke the kiss then, still holding him. Jae felt dazed, his body on fire, he trembled in Dan's arms. Dan lowered his head again and pressed a soft gentle kiss on his jaw, trailing his lips to Jae's left ear.

"Now you know why," Dan said tightening his arms around him. "Think about it this month, okay? Be careful on your drive to see your mom. There's a Jeep in the basement garage for you."

Dan let him go and stepped back. Pressing a kiss on Jae's forehead, he touched Jae's jaw and left with a quiet click on the door.

***

**7. Spicy** _Gimchi_ **and Old Wounds**

Jae drove home to Gong **,** his thoughts centered on Dan and their scorching kiss.

Dan liked him, enough to kiss him, Jae mused.

A sigh escaped and he gripped the steering wheel tight. This wasn't a good time to think about relationships. He and Dan, they had business together, there was Rebellion's future, and he couldn't allow anything to jeopardize that, not even for a stunning kiss that had left every cell in his body trembling. He hadn't known a kiss could feel like that. Turning on the radio, he tuned to a rock station hoping music would take Dan off his mind. He was pleasantly surprised to hear one of Rebellion's songs, ' _Sweet Torture_ '. He smiled and hummed along as he drove home.

Gong hadn't changed. It was springtime again and the flowers bloomed in unexpected places. Bright and welcoming, he felt his worries disappear. Driving through the town, he contemplated stopping at the coffee shop but when he saw how busy it was, he kept going. He'd been happy to live as just Jae in that coffee shop. Maybe tomorrow, he thought as he drove past, heading up the hill to the quiet residential streets.

Ten minutes later, he pulled into his parents' home and parked the black Jeep in the front of the house. Glancing at the time on the dashboard, he turned the car off and opened his door **.** Two o'clock in the afternoon meant no one was home. His father was in his office in town and his mom was still at the school.

Jae got out of the car and walked around the house to the backyard. White sheets hang on the lines; the scent of fresh rain teased his nose as he passed through them. He found the wide wooden platform under the tree and sat on it. Leaning back on his elbows, the breeze swept in and ruffled his hair. He took in a deep breath and a smile tugged at his lips.

Sitting up, he glanced down the short slope and grinned when he saw rows of cabbages. Obviously not the ones he'd planted, but he was happy to see his mother had kept up the garden.

_Some things just didn't change_ , he thought.

He was home.

Laying back on the platform, he fell asleep to the sound of the wind ruffling the tree leaves.

****

"Jae," a soft voice said, waking him up.

He shifted and gentle fingers stroked through his hair.

"Kim Jaehan," that soft voice repeated more firmly.

He opened his eyes to find his mother peering at him.

"Mum," he said sitting up. "You came home."

"Shouldn't that be my line?" Gae In said with a wide smile.

She pulled him into a tight hug and pressed a kiss into his hair.

"I've missed you so much. You're a terrible son, Jae. Leaving for three years and calling me sporadically. I was so worried about you."

Jae buried his face into her shoulder and breathed in her scent. He tightened his arms around her and sighed.

"I missed you too," he said in a whisper.

"Was it hard for you?" she asked patting his back as she held him.

He nodded against her shoulder.

"You did well," she said in a soothing tone. "You worked hard. I'm proud of you."

Her soft praise healed his aching heart. An hour later, Jae sat at the kitchen table comfortable in a plain white t-shirt and sweatpants. He rubbed his hands as he surveyed the food his mother had laid out on the table **;** the rice, _gimchi_ , fried fish **,** and vegetable stew looked delicious. He smiled and picked up his chopsticks and spoon.

"Eat." Gae In said coming around the table to serve him.

She piled his plate with rice, adding vegetable stew and passing him a large piece of the fried fish.

He spooned a healthy bite of rice mixed with stew into his mouth and moaned in appreciation. For a full five minutes, he ate his food in silence, his hunger unrestrained. He ate as though he'd been starving for ages.

He glanced up when Gae In laughed. She placed a glass of water before him.

"Didn't you eat anything before you came here?"

He picked up the glass and sipped the cool fresh drink **;** even the water tasted better, he thought taking another sip.

"I wanted to eat your food," he said.

"Goodness, I see the flattery hasn't gone away. I was worried you'd changed when I saw you out there. You cut your hair; you're taller and too skinny."

Jae put his spoon down to touch his hair. He had cut it in South America because the weather there was too hot to keep his hair long. He hadn't bothered with gel so it was messy right now. He smiled at Gae In.

"My hair will grow out," he said. "As for taller, I can't do much about that, but if you keep feeding me, I'm sure I'll gain weight in days."

She smiled and pushed another piece of fish toward him.

"How are Junghee and Andre?"

"They're both fine," Jae said. "Junghee is going to see his family. Andre wants to spend time with his brother."

"That's good, what about that lovely man, Mr. Suk?"

Jae glanced at her unable to hide his surprise.

"Mr. Suk?"

"Yes. He made sure we knew where you were every week. He and I are good friends-,"

"Wait, what?" Jae asked. "Dan called you?"

"Of course, he's your manager, right? Why are you frowning?"

_That man,_ Jae thought staring at his mother.

"Nothing," he said taking a bite of his food.

"Mr. Suk was very helpful. Your older sister had some issues with her job in Seoul. He met with her and solved the problem," Gae In continued, a fond smile playing on her lips.

"My sister," Jae dropped his spoon.

Why was Dan the saint that could? Who was he to walk around saving his family?

"So Jin," Gae In said, So Jin was the second-to-last born. She was twenty-eight, two years older than he was.

"What was her problem?"

"She got fired from her marketing job. Mr. Suk helped her find a better one with another company."

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

He wondered why Dan had not told him either. Pushing his chair back, he moved to stand.

"I'm going to call him."

"Stop," Gae In ordered. "Finish your food. Don't bother Mr. Suk. He helped us out, you should be grateful to him."

Jae sighed and pulled his chair back to the table. Taking his spoon, he decided the next time he and Dan met they were going to have a serious talk.

"Mr. Suk has your best interests at heart," Gae In said after he'd taken a couple of bites of his food. "I like him."

Jae met her gaze and shrugged.

"He's great," he said with a shrug. "Thank you for keeping up my cabbage patch."

"Typical, you never want to discuss people who matter to you. Fine, you'll tell me when you're ready." Gae In smiled. "You never came to eat _gimchi_ , so I thought I'd keep up the cabbage patch. Want to make it with me?"

"Are you going to tell me why So Jin was fired?" Jae asked.

"Nope," Gae In said.

He sighed and let it go. He decided he would find out from Dan.

"Okay. I'll help you make _gimchi_."

****

He'd been back in Gong for a week.

When he'd walked into Kim's café the first day after his return home, the staff had recognized him this time. They'd greeted him warmly, hugging him and teasing him mercilessly for cutting his hair. When he'd gone in to the hair salon to see Angie, she'd embraced him tight and punched him on his arm for not telling her who he was sooner. Shaking his head, he wondered what she'd have said had he told her before. Those days, Rebellion had been _persona non grata_.

As happy as he was about their acceptance, he couldn't spend the day at the coffee shop anymore. Not if he wanted to protect his family's privacy. Instead, he'd spend his days enjoying bicycle rides and exploring Gong thoroughly. It was lonely without Junghee and Andre, but it was also relaxing; there were no obligations and no stress, there was only one thing he couldn't get out of his head.

_Suk Dan_ , Jae couldn't get him out of his head. Every time he closed his eyes, he remembered that kiss at his house. A house Dan had bought thinking about him, Jae thought with a sigh. Dan was always taking care of him.

"You're going to ruin the cabbage," Gae In said touching his hand.

Her warning pulled him back to the present. He had his hands in a bowl filled with radish seasoning. He concentrated on spreading the radish mix his mother had made on the leaves of the quarter **-** piece of _napa_ cabbage they'd harvested the night before.

Gae In rolled up a leaf covered in radish seasoning and offered it to him for a taste. Her hands covered with plastic gloves to protect them from the red seasoning. He opened his mouth and took the treat, wincing when the strong taste of pepper and spice exploded in his mouth.

Gae In laughed. "You haven't been eating spicy food."

"Looks like I'm making up for it this week," he said taking a fresh cabbage from her. "Mum, why are we making so much _gimchi_? Are my sisters coming over or something?"

"Aren't you leaving tomorrow?" Gae In asked as she continued covering her cabbage with seasoning. "We'll pack this nicely in bowls that you can give Andre, Junghee **,** and Dan."

"Dan?" he asked raising his brow at this new development. His mother was in love with the man. "Since when does he get a care package?"

"Since he started taking care of my son," Gae In answered not looking up. "He keeps my mind at ease. Of course, I have to make sure he's taking care of himself."

"Mum," Jae said staring at her.

She didn't look up, and her words were making his heart hurt.

"Promise you'll visit me often now that you're back," she said.

Jae leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"I'll visit you often," he promised when she looked up, "and call you, and send you gifts."

She smiled and held out another piece of cabbage. He took a bite and winced because she'd made it extra spicy.

Her phone buzzed and she glanced at it beside her.

"Who is it?" he asked.

"I don't know, unknown number," she said removing her gloves.

He took over applying the mixture on the cabbage while she answered the phone. She got off the deck and moved closer to the house to get a clearer signal. A second later, she walked around the house and he hoped she wasn't leaving him to make the _gimchi_. No matter how much he liked eating it, making the _gimchi_ was exhausting.

He'd just finished two quarters when she returned, a frown on her forehead.

"What? I hope you're not going to tell me I have to finish making this alone," he complained.

"Jae," she said just as someone followed her from the house. "Ah-,"

"Mrs. Kim," Jaesun said happily running to catch up with her. "You're walking so fast."

Ice filled his veins, his heartbeat faltering in his chest, and he could barely take in air.

Gae In sighed and reached for a new pair of plastic gloves from the corner of the deck. She handed them to Jaesun and took back her spot.

"I'm going to put you to work, Jaesun. We're making _gimchi_ for Jae's-,"

"What are you doing here?" Jae demanded, glaring at his ex.

"I didn't realize you'd come home," Jaesun said with a small smile.

Without faltering, Jaesun put on the gloves that Gae In had handed him and chose a spot between them.

Jae gritted his teeth, his hands bunching the cabbage in his bowl. He fought the urge to throw the mixture of cabbage leaves and spices on top of Jaesun's head. How dare he show up to visit his home? Who did Jaesun think he was?

"Jae, stop scowling. Jaesun shows up from time to time. You do remember you promised to share your mother with him," Gae In said in a soft voice. "Jaesun, greet your _hyung_ , he's been working hard today."

"How have you been, _hyung_?" Jaesun obeyed with a small bow directed at him. "It's been a long time, right?

"Aren't you lost?" Jae demanded severely.

"Kim Jaehan," Gae In said matching his tone. "This is my house. Be cordial to our guests."

He sighed removed his hands from the bowl. There was no way he was going to sit here while Jaesun smiled at his mother. Pulling off his gloves, he threw them on the deck and got up.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going for a bicycle ride," he declared without looking at Jaesun. "Call me when he leaves, I'll help you with the _gimchi_ then."

"Jae," Gae In said in shock when he walked off. "Kim Jaehan!"

He ignored her and stormed to the front of the house, scowling when he saw the black Mercedes parked right next to his Jeep. He hoped no one had followed Jaesun, otherwise hell was about to break out. Cursing under his breath, he changed direction and headed to his car instead of his bicycle. Jaesun stopped him before he could get the driver's door open.

"Why are you acting like this?" Jaesun demanded when he turned around.

"Fuck off!" Jae shouted, pushing him away. "Who the hell do you think you are? What are you doing here?"

"I'm visiting your mother," Jaesun answered with a frown. "What do you think life was like for her when you went abroad? Three years, not seeing you, do you know?"

Jae punched Jaesun in the face as hard as he could. He shook his hand out when Jaesun staggered back, almost falling to the ground.

"Don't ever judge my relationship with my mother," Jae growled when Jaesun looked at him.

Jaesun touched his jaw delicately and scowled. "You've really gone wild, haven't you? Nothing matters to you anymore."

"What matters to me is my family, and you're violating them right now," Jae yelled, pointing at his parents' house. "You have no claim to this place, Jaesun."

"Mrs. Kim is like a mother to me," Jaesun said with a frown. "She doesn't mind if I visit her."

"I mind." Jae said glaring at him. "I don't want to see you. I don't want to hear what you have to say, and I sure as hell don't want you visiting my mother."

"You can't stop me from coming."

"My God, you're selfish. Look at you, showing up here knowing very well the kind of drama that follows you. How many _sasaeng_ fans do you have, J.P.? They must be in the thousands. Yet you came here with the same darned car you drive around in Seoul. Did you ever stop to think what would happen if they find out whom you visit here?"

He hated the mutinous expression on Jaesun's face. Defiance, anger, he didn't care for any of those emotions coming from Jaesun. Jaesun was in the wrong here, not him. He wanted to drop Jaesun to the ground and rub his stupid handsome face in the dirt. Rage boiled under his skin, making his heartbeat accelerate.

"Leave," he demanded, pointing to the black car.

"Hell no," Jaesun said. "Mrs. Kim is packing me _gimchi_. I'm not leaving."

"Why are you doing this?" Jae asked, narrowing his eyes. "What do you think is going to change between us?"

"Hasn't it all changed already?" Jaesun asked. "You betrayed me **-** "

" _I_ betrayed _you_?" Jae repeated in shock. A bitter laugh escaped and he turned away because if he didn't he was going to hit Jaesun again. "I betrayed you, I see. Well, if that's how you feel, what are you doing here?"

"Mrs. Kim," Jaesun insisted. "She's like a mother to me. Just because you and I are not together anymore, doesn't mean I shouldn't see her."

Jae turned back to Jaesun.

"No matter how many times you repeat that, I'm not going to believe you. You, Jaesun, are selfish!"

"That's rich, coming from you," Jaesun said, his face flushed red, his left jaw bruised. "Did you ever stop to think about what would happen to me if you quit Black Shade? Weren't you being selfish destroying a group I loved and lived for? I loved you, _hyung_."

Jae winced and looked away. He'd put that guilt to rest when he'd gotten on stage for Rebellion. He refused to carry it again.

"Please leave, Jaesun."

"Why, so that I make you feel better?" Jaesun shook his head. "I'm going right back to your mother. You might not care what happens to me, but she does."

"Jae," Gae In called out and he glanced up to find her standing a few feet away. "Go inside."

He shook his head, glaring at Jaesun.

Gae In came over and covered his fist with her hand.

"Jae, you need to clear your head. Go inside and wash your face."

He breathed out his anger and stormed to the front door without another glance at Jaesun. Upstairs, he went into the bathroom in his room and splashed his face with cold water. Staring into the mirror above the sink, he wondered when the boiling rage inside him would end. It reared up every time he thought of Jaesun. The sight of Jaesun today had turned that rage into a spewing volcano.

Why did he hurt more every time they met? Why did his heart want to shrivel up and hide? Gods, the pain they'd caused each other... he shook his head and sunk to the tile floor. He wanted to cry, but the tears had long dried up. Now all he had left was pain, unrelenting pain that Jaesun seemed determined to keep adding.

Closing his eyes, he buried his face into his knees and prayed for redemption.

****

"Jae," Gae In said quietly, an hour later when she found him in his room. She leaned on the doorjamb at the bathroom. "You can't hide in here forever. Jaesun left ten minutes after you entered the house."

Jae kept his face buried in his knees, his back against the open bathroom door. "I'm sorry you saw me like that."

Gae In sighed, moved to sit on the floor beside him and bumped his shoulder with hers.

"I've seen you worse than that, little Jae."

He scoffed. "I doubt it."

Gae In sighed. "When you came back home three years ago, I thought you were never going to smile again. That was your worst, kiddo."

Jae raised his head to rub his eyes with his fingers. "I hit him. I couldn't help it."

"Why?" Gae In asked.

"He pissed me off. How long has he been coming here?" Jae demanded turning to look at her. "Why do you allow it?"

"Should I turn him away?" Gae In asked meeting his gaze with a challenge of her own. "Weren't you the one who brought him to me and told him to think of me as his mother? Mothers don't abandon their children, no matter the situation."

"You're my mother, not his." Jae disagreed. "He's just-, he's-,"

"As lost as you are," Gae In finished for him. "You're so angry with him. You've refused to see things in his perspective."

"It's difficult." Jae shook his head.

Jaesun wasn't the one who couldn't sing freely in his own country, or the one fighting in court to get his dues. No, J.P. enjoyed V.I.P treatment with N-sang. Those bastards had thrown all their resources into making Jaesun a success. It pissed him off that they were doing the opposite with Rebellion, using their resources to bog them down, make them lose heart, especially after they'd won the court case. Adding Jaesun's entitled attachment to his mother on top of that just sent him over the edge.

What perspective was he supposed to see? Jaesun was acting like those N-sang bastards.

"Jae," Gae In said.

"Don't ask me to forgive him," Jae said before she could continue. "I can't handle that just yet. He hurt me, Mum, and I know I was also at fault for not being...stronger. I just can't look at him without getting angry."

She sighed and took his hand.

"I know it hurts every day, but the pain fades. Don't let your anger rule, Jae. You have to look past it; otherwise you'll end up a very bitter man."

***

His mother's words stayed with him on his drive back to Seoul. He'd woken up early feeling restless. He'd helped his mother with the chores around the house before he'd packed up his bags and gotten in his car. She'd given him three sealed bowls of _gimchi_ and bade him goodbye. Her words stuck with him because she'd asked him to find a way to forgive Jaesun. He'd promised he'd try, but no matter how much he thought about it, he didn't see a way. He was afraid he'd end up a bitter man anyway.

****

**8. Music Like Spring**

Jae walked into Jade Entertainment awed by the progress Dan had managed in their absence. Their offices were on Gangnamro Avenue in a three-story azure glass building. He paused at the receptionist's desk; she was busy on the phone. Taking off his dark glasses, he leaned on the counter and looked around the waiting area. Posters of the Jade Entertainment musicians and actors decorated the walls. He noted in disappointment that there weren't any Rebellion posters.

"How may I help you?" the secretary asked.

He turned and she gasped, stifling a scream at the last minute.

"Good afternoon," he said. "I'm looking for C.E.O. Suk."

She swallowed hard and nodded, pointing to the double glass doors to her right.

"He's, he's in his office."

Jae chuckled, thanked her and headed in the direction she'd indicated. As the doors closed, he heard her excited scream. Dan was going to kill him he thought as he headed down the corridor to an office at the end. He knocked once and walked in unannounced. Closing the door behind him, he marveled at the sight of the C.E.O. Dan was sitting behind a large desk dressed in a black suit jacket and cream shirt. His hair was combed neatly and the reading glasses resting on his nose complemented his well-dressed look. Jae could hardly believe the transformation. He rarely saw Dan this neat. This Dan was different from the Dan he'd seen on the road. Jae scowled because he suddenly missed the messy hair and the Dan who teased him incessantly.

"Afternoon," he said when Dan glanced up from his work. "You're going to need a squad to get me out of here."

"Jae," Dan said, a frown creasing his forehead. "You should have called me."

Jae shrugged and looked around the office. He'd always assumed Dan would be as messy as his hair, he was glad to be disappointed. Dan's office was the picture of elegance. Silver and grey furniture populated the space, and elegant paintings adorned the walls. He paused in the middle of the room when he finally saw Rebellion. On the wall to his right was a large glossy poster of him, Junghee, and Andre playing on stage. The photographer had caught him, head tossed back, mic to his lips clinging to the stand, Junghee facing him on the guitar, and Andre on the bass.

_His team_ , he thought with pride his gaze on Junghee and Andre. They were his reason for living.

Turning away from the poster, he went to the sitting area by the windows and dropped onto a silver couch. He arranged the throw pillows under his head and let out a huge sigh.

"Are you alright?" Dan asked, still behind his desk. "Did something happen?"

Jae closed his eyes and thought about his confrontation with Jaesun yesterday. The whole scene had left him unsettled. So much so, he hadn't wanted to go home alone. Junghee was still visiting his parents and Andre was in Daegu with his brother. They weren't going to be in Seoul until the end of the week.

It was Monday; he had five days to spend alone. The idea scared him. He hadn't spent a minute alone in four years. He had no idea what to do with himself.

Sitting up, he looked at Dan.

"Why don't you have our posters out in the main lobby?"

Dan shrugged.

"You haven't been in Seoul and we're still pretending Rebellion is not part of Jade Entertainment. You just ruined that, by the way. Did you have to come through the front door?"

Jae scoffed and flopped back on the couch.

"I am not a secret to stuff in the closet."

"Not in the closet," Dan said.

He stood and walked around his desk. Jae watched him come to take a seat on the wooden coffee table in front of the couch.

"Jae, you're supposed to be on vacation. I thought you were going to stay with your mum a while longer."

"Why didn't you tell me So Jin had problems with her job?" Jae demanded thinking about his mother and the fact that Dan seemed overly eager to help her. "I didn't ask you to take care of them too."

Dan sighed.

"What is the most important thing in your life apart from Rebellion?"

"My family," Jae replied glaring at him. "So why are you meddling in those private affairs?"

"Because, they're important to you, So Jin's troubles were caused by N-sang. She was working in a company with ties to N-sang. Do you think she'd have sat quietly watching you suffer?"

Jae sat up on the couch thinking about his sister. So Jin was short **-** tempered and got into trouble a lot.

"Why didn't So Jin tell me? She calls me every day and leaves messages. Why would she keep this from me?"

"Your mother ordered us not to tell you. You were abroad, with no way of being able to come home. We decided to handle the matter without bothering you. Don't get angry."

Jae shook his head, swung his feet to the floor, so that he was facing Dan.

"You don't need to be this way, Dan. I can look out for my family and myself. I don't want to owe you."

"I'm your manager," Dan said abruptly. "You work hard on the stage and on your music. My job is to make sure your life is in line."

"Does that include kissing me?" Jae asked, needing clarity.

He'd thought about it all week and decided that the only way to handle this was to talk it out. He wasn't jumping into another relationship like the one he had with Jaesun. Things had to be clear from the start.

"Did you kiss me because it's part of managing my life?"

Dan scowled and poked a finger into Jae's jean **-** clad thigh.

"That's low, Jae. You know why I kissed you."

"Actually no," Jae said, shaking his head. "I'd prefer you spell it out for me. I'm that kind of guy now. Guessing and speculating, that's exhausting to me, Dan. I'm tired of assuming things and ending up the loser."

"When did you ever end up a loser?" Dan asked in a low gentle tone.

Jae looked away from Dan.

"I'm not a novice, Dan. I know sex and love are two different things. I thought I'd found love once, but-," he shrugged off his painful memories with Jaesun. "I turned into a fool. Since then, I like to know what my partners want from me. Sex is easy, there are no cumbersome strings tied to that kind of relationship. So, I need to understand what you want when you take care of my family, and then are good to me and kiss me."

Dan reached out and touched his chin, slowly turning his head until their gazes met. He bit his lower lip to keep from gasping when he saw burning heat in Dan's dark brown eyes.

"Listen to me," Dan said. "I've watched you allow countless men into your life these past three years. All of whom I wanted to kill because they just wanted you for being in Rebellion."

"I knew what those men wanted. That's why it was easy with them," Jae said with a slight smile. "When they left, I didn't give them a second thought, Dan. What happens if you and I-,"

"When you and I happen," Dan cut in with a hard tone. "It won't be easy, Jae."

"What if I want it to be easy?" Jae asked afraid of the depth of Dan's emotions.

Dan dropped his hand away from his chin and sighed.

"This is the reason why I asked you to think about us. I don't want an easy relationship with you. I want it to be messy, and so troublesome you'll think about nothing else."

"That sounds...scary," Jae said with a small smile, "and exhausting."

"I like you, very much," Dan said simply. "I want a scary and exhausting relationship with you, Jae."

"Why," Jae asked confused. "I'm nothing but trouble."

"I know," Dan said with a soft chuckle. "I've known that since the day I met you, Kim Jaehan. Somehow, that doesn't seem to stop my heart. So, what do you say?"

"Dan," Jae said shocked by Dan's sincerity.

Shifting to the edge of the couch, unable to resist, he closed the distance between them and kissed Dan. He meant to make it a simple chaste kiss, but it didn't happen that way.

Dan made a small sound of surprise, cupped Jae's face and deepened the kiss. Jae lost all thought, as he tasted Dan's mouth, sweet and damp, his tongue stroking against Dan's eagerly. His hands clutched the front of Dan's shirt, pulling him closer, wanting more. His breath hitched when Dan's fingers slid into his hair. He was lost in sensation, his body overheating. With his eyes closed, he savored their combined taste. Jae moaned in protest when Dan broke the kiss a minute later.

"Someone's knocking on the door," Dan whispered. "We'll have to continue this later."

Jae tugged on Dan's shirt, his lips trailing hot kisses along Dan's jaw. Dan kissed him again, delicious thrills rushing through his body as he sucked on Dan's lower lip. Not ready to let him go, the need coursing through him felt new, exciting. He was afraid if they stopped, it would disappear. Dan broke their kiss again with a soft sigh and stroked his jaw.

"If we don't stop, my secretary is going to see more than she's paid for," Dan said quietly as the knocking on the door persisted.

Jae let go of Dan's shirt and sighed. He sat back on the couch dazed, his sluggish brain not ready to think let alone deal with an intrusion.

Dan stood with a silly smile and walked back to his desk calling out "Enter!"

Jae wiped a hand down his face and hoped he didn't look as aroused as he felt. Dan's kisses were driving him insane. He shifted on the couch, picked one of the throw pillows and placed it on his lap. He glanced at Dan and scowled when he saw him laugh quietly as the door opened.

A young woman dressed in an elegant grey dress walked in carrying folders. She glanced at him, and unlike the receptionist, she greeted him with a graceful nod of her head.

"What's the problem, Mrs.Kang?" Dan asked walking around his desk to take back his seat.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," she said quietly. She handed him the folders she carried. "We have a problem on the second floor, studio five. Len and his producer are not getting along. He wants to quit singing the _Secret Fire_ Television show soundtrack. The show's director is waiting for your call and the producer of the song wants you upstairs."

Jae didn't miss the slight frown on Dan's face that spelled frustration.

"Alright, tell them I'm on the way," Dan said.

"Also, would you like me to prepare an exit for Mr. Kim?" Mrs. Kang asked. "Someone tipped off reporters that he came to see you."

Dan glanced at him for a moment, "I'll call you when he's ready."

Mrs. Kang smiled and turned to him. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Kim."

He waved at her and watched her leave Dan's office.

"Mrs.Kang?" he asked when she was gone.

"Yes, she got married a few weeks ago. I have to go deal with the Len problem."

Jae stood and threw the pillow on the couch. He moved closer to Dan's desk and offered.

"I can help with Len that is **,** if you don't mind."

"Jae-," Dan started.

"I don't want to go home alone," Jae interrupted him. "Junghee and Andre are not in Seoul, and all my old friends are too busy to meet me."

Dan came around the desk and pulled him into a tight hug, immediately surrounding him with warmth. He buried his face into Dan's chest, slipping his arms around Dan's waist, he held on tight.

"Is that why you came over?" Dan asked his tone husky in his ear.

Jae closed his eyes and breathed in Dan's sexy cologne.

"I wanted to leave the bowls of _gimchi_ my mother gave them at their houses. They weren't there, so now I have a whole bunch of _gimchi_ in my car with no one to give it to."

Dan ran a hand down his back.

"You can stay. We'll share the _gimchi_ with everyone at the studio."

Jae chuckled and asked, "What kind of reputation will that give me?"

Dan kissed the top of his head.

"Hmm...I think everyone will think you're caring and have a good heart."

Jae laughed and leaned his head back to look into Dan's eyes.

"Your bias is showing, Dan. Why didn't I ever see it before?"

"You weren't ready." Dan sighed, a frown appearing on his forehead. "Len will think he's won the lottery if you offer to help him. I don't want to reward him for acting out."

"Maybe the producer doesn't understand what Len needs. That happens sometimes, you know," Jae soothed. "I'll follow your lead."

Dan smiled and kissed him. His breath hitched and his fingers tightened on Dan's shirt under his suit jacket. He pressed closer, needing more, addicted to Dan's taste, and the heat that swept through him just from a simple kiss. When they pulled apart, he buried his face into Dan's shoulder and sighed.

"Is this the right thing?" he asked when Dan ran his fingers through his hair.

"Does it matter?" Dan asked quietly. "It feels so good just to hold you like this; I don't want to know what is right or wrong."

"Okay, I won't ask either."

"We have to go," Dan said.

Jae chuckled when neither of them made a move to let go. They stood in the silence of the office holding each other until Dan's phone rang.

****

Dan answered the call, his arm still around Jae. He didn't want to let go, just in case this was a dream or he'd somehow started to hallucinate.

"Sir," Len's voice finally penetrated his thoughts. "Are you coming?"

"I'm on the way. Please don't cause trouble, Len."

"I'm not causing trouble. I just want someone who knows what I'm doing. This producer-,"

"We'll talk when I get there," he said hanging up on Len.

Shoving his phone into his pocket, he kissed Jae's shoulder through the thin black t-shirt he wore and stepped back.

"We have to go."

Jae nodded and they headed out. Dan stopped him when he reached for the door handle. Jae looked at him, his gaze questioning, but Dan didn't give him a chance to say anything. He kissed Jae. It was a light, teasing kiss. One that quickly changed when Jae leaned into him, making their kiss linger.

He tasted so good, Dan thought with a sigh when he pulled back.

Touching Jae's lower lip with the tip of his finger, he smiled and opened the door.

Jae poked him in the stomach.

"Tease," Jae accused as they stepped out of his office.

He laughed enjoying this side of Jae. Mrs. Kang smiled at him as they passed her desk. He led Jae to the elevators that would take them to the second floor.

Upstairs, they found studio five filled with people. Jae groaned and slowed down.

"Why are there so many people?"

"Len can create a scene in seconds," Dan explained, urging the staff out of the way, as they entered the studio.

"Who do you think you are to criticize my lyrics?" Len was demanding of his producer. "I didn't write them for you. Do you even understand what _Secret Fire_ is about, have you read the script?"

"What, look at this brat!" the producer said in shock. "How can you talk to someone older than you this way?"

"You're the one who criticized me first," Len insisted, his face flushed with anger.

"Len," Dan said then when the producer shook his fists in anger. "What's going on here? I asked you not to make trouble."

Len and the producer both turned to look at him in surprise.

"Mr. Suk," Len said guiltily. "I'm sorry, but, I really did try."

"Apologize to your producer," Dan said firmly.

Len gave him an impatient glance, clearly not ready to apologize. He reluctantly turned to the producer and gave him a curt nod.

"I'm sorry."

The producer shook his head and turned to Dan.

"I'm not working with him. Find another producer."

The older man grabbed his jacket and left the studio amid shocked murmurs. Dan let him leave because talking to him would only aggravate the problem. He turned to Len and shook his head.

"This is the second producer you've fought with Len. What am I going to do with you?"

Len dropped into a chair and shook his head.

"It's not my fault, Mr. Suk. He kept treating me like an idiot. You asked me to write the lyrics to the soundtrack and I did. I spend hours talking to the director to understand the drama. Why is it, that the man who is supposed to help me make the music come alive is the one to criticize me the most?"

Jae touched his shoulder, and Dan sighed turning to meet his gaze.

"I'll take a look at the music," Jae said.

Len looked up in shock. He stood and Dan almost laughed at the transformation from the simpering, complaining boy to a grown-up twenty-two **-** year **-** old.

"Kim Jaehan," Len gasped giving him a bow in greeting. "I'm so honored to meet you."

Jae held out his hand to Len.

"You're shocked that I'm here, right? I bet you're thinking what is Kim Jaehan doing here?"

Len gasped when Jae moved closer and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. The friendly gesture meant to relax Len. Dan bit back a laugh because Jae's actions only made Len more uncomfortable.

"Don't worry, Len. Think of me as your _hyung_ from now on. Mr. Suk, if you'll empty the studio for a while, Len and I will get to work."

Dan met Jae's gaze and read a promise. He smiled and turned to the staff.

"How about we get back to work now," he said using a firm authoritative voice.

The curious staff left the studio in excited murmurs. He was certain someone would leak the information about Len and Jae working together. He made a mental note to prepare a statement to counteract any negative remarks from the press. Rebellion was still on the outside, and Len's career needed to remain on track.

"Stop worrying," Jae said into his ear. "I'll get him to sing the song."

Dan nodded.

"I need to find the producer who just left. Are you going to be alright?"

"As long as you come back to get me," Jae said his light brown eyes full of mischief. "If you leave me alone, there's no telling what kind of trouble I'll find."

"Behave yourself, and stop throwing your arms around Len," Dan said in irritation.

Jae laughed and tugged his tie.

"Go work, C.E.O **.** Suk. Leave the music to me."

Dan fought the intense urge he had to kiss Jae. He wanted to taste that smile and hold Jae in his arms. Jae smirked as though he could read his thoughts and he sighed. He wondered how they were going to live with this attraction. Squeezing Jae's hand, he left the studio with a stern glare at Len.

****

Jae listened to the music Len and the producer had created together. The song was a ballad, meant to tug at the heartstrings and invoke fond memories. It was a good song, although not his style. Len sung with confidence, his voice melodious and clear.

He swung his chair to his left to find Len nervously listening in the next chair.

"How long have you been singing this song?" he asked Len.

"All morning," Len said his voice shy. "I wanted to lay it down the moment I finished writing the lyrics."

Jae nodded.

"The song is good, but not great. It still needs work."

Len's face fell in disappointment and Jae reached out to touch his shoulder.

"Hey, number one rule about music, have fun. If you're not having fun singing the song, it will not be good."

"That's easy for you to say, your music is always insanely great," Len complained. "I'm so ashamed to have you listen to my music."

"It wasn't always this way," Jae assured him standing.

He turned off the music on the soundboard.

"Come on, we need to find a guitar and a few drinks **.** I'll rely on you, Len. Also, do you like _gimch_ i?"

****

It was seven o'clock in the evening by the time Dan finished calming down Len's angry producer and preparing a statement to deal with Jae's presence at Jade Entertainment. He'd insisted that the staff at Jade Entertainment had invited Kim Jaehan to consult with Len. The press had demanded answers on when Rebellion was performing in Seoul. He'd tactfully refused to answer those questions. Sadly, the speculation was only going to increase.

Letting out a tired sigh, he headed to the second floor to find Jae.

He'd ignored him too long, he could only hope he and Len weren't screaming at each other. Getting off the elevator, he stopped when he saw the staff once again filling the entrance at studio five. Biting back a groan, he hurried to the door knowing that Jae wasn't one to take things lying down. He could insult with the best of them.

The ladies standing by the door moved to let him in. He stopped when he got to the soundboard, and glanced into the live room. Jae sat perched on a stool with an acoustic guitar, while Len sang into the microphone. Len's voice filled the room, clear and full of sentiment **;** they'd transformed the ballad into an emotion-inspiring piece. Jae played the guitar with skill; he had learned from Junghee and they sometimes sat together and played for hours.

Dan watched him play with a smile. Jae was always happiest in the studio playing music. Len finished the song and the staff clapped. Dan touched the intercom on the soundboard.

"Great job, guys," he said smiling at them when they glanced up.

Jae waved at him and stood. Leaning the guitar on a stand in the corner, he came out of the live room followed by Len.

"What do you think?" Jae asked.

"I love it. The music is fresh and reminds me of a spring romance," Dan replied.

"Jaehan- _sunbae_ is really good." Len praised. "He turned my song into something unexpected. He also brought us _gimchi_. Would you like some, Mr. Suk?"

Dan looked at the table behind him and realized the staff was filling their plates with food. The table was laden with fried chicken, rice, drinks, fruit, and bowls of gimchi. He turned to meet Jae's gaze and smiled.

"Looks like you've won everyone's hearts."

Jae winked at him and he shook his head amused.

"Aren't you hungry, Mr. Suk?" Jae asked, his tone teasing.

Dan shrugged.

"I have something else in mind to sate my hunger. Len, I hope you don't mind if I take Jaehan away."

Len turned to Jae.

"Thank you so much," he said giving Jae a low bow.

Jae smiled.

"You have my number. Call me anytime, Len. Maybe we can meet for drinks one of these days."

"I'd love that," Len said with a bright smile.

Jae patted his shoulder, picked up a bag from a chair next to him, and followed Dan. The staff thanked Jae, happily eating the food. Dan had to pull Jae out of the studio firmly because they all seemed determined to keep him longer.

"Sharing you is very hard," Dan said once the elevator doors closed. "I leave you alone for a few hours and the whole building runs to your side."

Jae chuckled.

"Come on, Dan. I had so much fun this afternoon because of you. Can you imagine how depressed I'd be if I went home alone?"

"Did you give away all the _gimchi_?" Dan asked with a scowl. "I thought you were going to share with me. Didn't you even think about me?"

"You're all I've thought about this past week," Jae said as the elevator doors slid open in the basement. Dan led him to a black Lincoln Town Car. "What about my Jeep?"

"I'll have someone drop it off at your house. We have reporters waiting outside the building looking out for your Jeep." Dan unlocked the car. "Besides, don't you want to find out where I live?"

Jae grinned.

"I hope you have wine, Dan. I want to get drunk tonight."

"Really," Dan said as Jae hurried around to enter the passenger side. Getting into the car, he shifted in his seat so that he could look at Jae. "Is that all you want to do?"

"Of course, you ordered me never to drink without you," Jae said meeting his gaze. "Since I feel like celebrating, won't you get me a bottle of wine?"

"What are you celebrating?" Dan asked starting the car.

Jae settled in his seat.

"Meeting you, C.E.O. Suk," he answered with a smile.

***

**9. Because Of You, I can be myself**

Dan poured Jae another drink and sat back to watch him toss it back. They'd stopped at a convenience store near his building and he'd bought a six-pack of Soju. They sat on the carpet in the middle of his living room, a low wooden table between them. Jae was happily drinking without any worries. He frowned at the five empty bottles of Soju that littered the space to his right.

Jae glanced at him with a wide smile.

"Dan, don't you think it's inappropriate to frown right now?"

"You're already tipsy and heading towards your alcohol limit," Dan said shaking his head. "Here I thought we were going to talk or something."

Jae took the bottle from him and poured him a drink.

"Stop complaining and drink. I haven't been able to drink without worrying lately. This is the first time, Dan. Don't spoil it."

Dan frowned and took his glass. He took a sip, because at the rate Jae was going, moderation was the best course.

"I like your apartment," Jae said staring out the windows that showed off the city. "It reminds me of my old place. I used to lie down on the carpet when it rained and watch the city for hours. Of course, those times were limited to three or four per year. I usually escaped the Black Shade dorm and I ended up in trouble with the manager. But those few hours, just laying down there doing nothing, seemed like paradise."

In the past three years, he'd never heard Jae talk about his Black Shade era. Jae had chosen to concentrate on Rebellion, never once discussing Jaesun or N-sang, not even with Junghee and Andre. This small glimpse into Jae's life before made his heart ache imagining him alone in that apartment looking for peace.

"You can do that here if you like," Dan offered, hating the dark shadow that had fallen over Jae's eyes. He took the bottle and filled Jae's glass. "I'm rarely here, so, if that's what you want to do, I'll give you the code."

Jae sipped this time and smiled at him.

"Who told you I want to be here alone?"

Dan blinked.

Jae laughed and leaned his elbows on the low wooden table.

"If I'm going to be in your apartment, you should be here. I don't want to spend any minute without you inside this place."

Dan laughed.

"Jeez, a few hours ago, you were protesting our relationship."

"Why are you rarely here?" Jae asked studying him with curious brown eyes. "Is it because you're always in the office? It's not good to spend so much time at work. Think of your health."

"I'm usually working to make you happy." Dan answered with a small smile. "You're counting on me to make Jade Entertainment successful. I can't let you down."

Jae tossed back his drink and placed the glass on the table with a frown.

"What do you want me to say to that? Want me to say thank you, good job or work harder?"

"Say, you're sorry," Dan said filling Jae's glass.

"Sorry?" Jae asked.

"Yes. Say you're sorry for making me worry all the time."

Jae tossed back his drink again and gave a wince as he put his glass beside the table.

"I'm sorry for causing you concern," Jae said quietly. "What happens if I don't mean it?"

Dan chuckled. "You'll have to kiss me to apologize."

Jae nodded and took their unfinished bottle of Soju. He placed it on the floor beside all the empty bottles, and then pushed the table in the opposite direction. Dan hid a smile as Jae moved closer until their knees touched.

He sighed when Jae caressed his jaw. Jae's fingers gentle as they moved to the back of his neck and tugged him closer still until their lips touched. He tasted Jae's exciting flavor as well as the apples from their Soju. Closing his eyes, he leaned into the kiss, sinking his fingers into Jae's hair. He exhaled a minute later when Jae pulled back and laid his head on Dan's chest.

Dan wrapped an arm around Jae, his body trembling with need. He'd waited so long for this. Jae let out a snore and he groaned.

_Typical, drinks until he passes out_ , he thought his hand moving to Jae's neck. Closing his eyes, he leaned his chin on Jae's head.

He carried Jae to his bed and spent a few minutes getting him comfortable. Undoing Jae's belt, he removed his jeans and sat him up to get the black t-shirt off. He paused with Jae leaning against him to touch the tattoo on Jae's left shoulder blade.

' _Keep the faith._

Jae's determination to keep his dreams alive humbled him sometimes. Laying him back against his pillows, he drew the sheet over him, pressed a kiss on his forehead and smiled when Jae hugged his pillow.

He left the bedroom to go clean up the bottles in the living room. Taking them into the kitchen, he put them in the sink and paused when he saw the bag Jae had brought with him. Opening it, he smiled when he found a container of _gimchi_. There was a yellow sticky note on the top.

_'Eat well, C.E.O. Suk Dan. >_<'_

He removed the container from the bag, carefully detached the sticky note, and put it in the fridge. He stuck the note on the door and couldn't help grinning at the little smiley face.

Jae.

He cleaned up in the kitchen quickly. Returning to the bedroom, he removed his shirt and pants, slid into the bed beside Jae and smiled when Jae curled into him. He pulled the covers over them and closed his eyes enjoying the feel of Jae against him. This day was perfect.

****

Jae opened his eyes the next morning with a yawn. He felt incredibly rested, and relaxed. Rubbing his eyes, he blinked sleep away and sat up.

_Dan's bedroom_ , he thought looking around the neat room.

He sat in the middle of a huge bed, a white sheet tangled around him. The windows to his left let the morning sunlight in and brightened the room. Jae ran fingers through his hair and wondered where Dan had gone. Touching the pillow beside his, he frowned and decided to go looking for him.

Getting off the bed, he grabbed his jeans from a chair and pulled them on. Leaving the bedroom, he went down the short corridor to the living room and stopped when he heard Dan's lawyer talking.

" _Rough Terrain_ sales are considerably higher than J.P.'s _Mood_ , but they won't acknowledge that. The music charts have ignored Rebellion and are only counting the bands under N-sang and its affiliates."

Jae closed his eyes and leaned on the wall hating the pang of fear that swept through him.

"There is nothing we can do," Mr. Chang said. "All the appearances offered when Rebellion arrived last week, have been cancelled as well."

Dan sighed and Jae heard him curse under his breath.

"I'd hoped they'd have softened up a bit."

"This is because of our case against the Rand Agency. We're still fighting it out, and producers of shows claim they don't want to be involved in court cases."

"But that is in Japan, not South Korea," Dan said his voice tinged with irritation. "Fine, we let it go. Fighting them is too much work; we'll follow another path, and Rebellion doesn't need mainstream shows to succeed."

"What are you going to do?" Mr. Chang asked.

"Do what we did out there, keep working and ignore the demeaning tactics."

Jae heard them move and then Dan said, "Call me if anything else changes."

"Alright," Mr. Chang said.

Jae laid his head against the wall and tried not to feel lost. His heart ached every time he thought about Rebellion in Seoul. Here, in this city, they were mere bugs under the monster's heel.

"Morning," Dan said with a wide smile and he looked up to find the man a few feet away. "You're awake. I'd hoped to get you breakfast in bed."

How he could afford to smile like that, Jae couldn't understand. They were facing problems that would make anyone run away. _Why didn't Dan runaway?_

Dan studied him for a moment then sighed.

"Were you eavesdropping?"

Jae nodded, not moving from the wall.

"Are you sure we shouldn't just leave the country again? They're never going to allow us back on the market."

Dan moved closer and tapped the top of Jae's head with his finger.

"Stop worrying," Dan ordered. "You're not alone."

Jae sighed this time and tried not to sag to the floor. He met Dan's gaze and was surprised to see dark eyes filled with determination.

"Don't you sometimes wish you'd never met us?" Jae asked him after a few minutes.

When Dan shook his head no, Jae lifted his hand and made a small space with his index finger and thumb.

"Maybe even a little?" he asked.

Dan gave him a small smile.

"Sometimes," he said, "but only for a split second, then I remember why I like you so much."

Jae chuckled.

Dan took his hand and pulled him away from the wall and into his arms for a long hug.

"Come on, I'll feed you. Everything improves after you eat."

Jae buried his face into Dan's dark shirt and sighed.

"I'm sorry I passed out on you last night."

Dan kissed his jaw.

"I slept so well holding you I didn't want to get out of bed when Mr. Chang called."

Jae wrapped his arms tighter around Dan and closed his eyes. The world out there was so hard right now. Somehow, his fear dissipated when Dan held him this way. He clutched him tighter hoping to prolong this feeling a little longer.

****

"You're hopeless," Dan said later that week.

Worried that Jae would get bored in Seoul during the rest of his month off, Dan insisted on going on a proper holiday. They'd taken a flight to Jeju Island and booked into the Shilla Hotel.

Their relationship was stuck, Jae thought as he watched his golf ball in the air.

He'd thought Dan was bringing him here so that they'd get closer, but so far, they were stuck playing golf, his least favorite sport. Apart from simple kisses and hugs, they were sharing separate rooms and Dan was keeping him at arm's length. They'd done so many outdoor activities together he was starting to get irritated.

Jae sighed as he watched his golf ball land in the sand and adjusted his thoughts on playing golf. Dan was playing golf and he was just failing.

"I told you I'm not good at this," he complained.

"You're not even trying," Dan insisted his hands at his waist. "Watching you is depressing."

"Well, who asked you to bring me here?" Jae demanded glaring at him. "I wanted to go swimming, but you just decided on your own to drag me to your favorite golf club."

"Jeez, that's because I didn't know you were this terrible." Dan shook his head and moved to set up his ball for his shot. "I'm not giving up on you. We still have ten more holes to go."

" _Ten_!" Jae yelped.

Removing his gloves, he decided he'd rather eat dirt than continue. Heading to their golf cart, he stowed away his club, jumped into the driver's side and started the engine.

"You play," he called to Dan. "When you've had enough, you can walk back. I'll be waiting by the pool."

"Jae," Dan said turning around in shock. "You wouldn't dare leave me here."

"Yes, I would," Jae smiled wide, "last chance to come with me."

Dan glared at him. "Are you really quitting?"

"I'm bored to tears swinging a golf club and watching my ball go into the water, sand, mud, and trees," Jae sighed. "Ten more times of this and I'm going to throw myself into the lake from stress."

Dan bit back a laugh and picked up his ball.

"How is it Junghee is a pro and you're not?" Dan asked in a baffled tone. Jae started to drive off and Dan held up his hands in surrender and ran to the golf cart when Jae stopped. "Okay, I'll stop."

Dan took the passenger seat and glanced at him when he started for the clubhouse.

"What?" Jae asked when Dan's stare got uncomfortable.

"Were you really going to drive off?"

"Of course," Jae said.

"You need to practice patience," Dan told him.

"Next time you drive me out here, I'm throwing my golf club at you." Jae warned him.

Dan laughed.
"You surprise me every day."

Jae shifted in his seat and frowned. "Why?"

"This whole week, I keep finding out things about you I didn't know." Dan smiled.

"Things like what?" Jae asked driving over a hill.

"Sore subjects like golf, I think I just saw your irritated side today," Dan said with a chuckle. "Then there was yesterday when we were running along the trail to the beach. You were smiling so hard I thought you were going to burst with joy. Of course, there was the boat ride the night before."

Jae laughed.

"I saw your bad side that night. I've only ever read about people who turn green when they get seasick. Who knew that Suk Dan would actually go weak in the knees and turn green?"

"I'd hoped you'd forget that," Dan said with a pained expression.

Jae shook his head. "You've been giving me grief since we started playing today. ' _Jae, you're digging out the grass.' 'Jae, you're swinging the club like you're playing with a sword_.' I think you're worse at criticizing than Junghee. There is no way I'm going to forget you at sea."

Dan poked him in the ribs.

"We should find something we both like to do."

Jae drove up the back of the clubhouse and parked. Dan moved to get out but Jae stopped him with a touch on his shoulder.

When Dan looked at him, he asked, "Want to go on a date with me?"

"A date," Dan repeated with a frown.

"Yes," Jae said in irritation. "You know, dressing up, nice food, a walk on the beach, maybe some kissing."

Dan smiled. "How can I refuse when you ask me so nicely?"

Jae scowled at him. "Well, you don't have to-,"

"I want to," Dan interrupted him. "What time?"

Jae smiled and glanced at his watch. It was just four o'clock. "Let's say seven o'clock."

"Perfect," Dan said with a mysterious smile.

They leisurely drove back to the hotel. Once they arrived, Jae headed upstairs to his room to get a quick shower before a swim and to make a call to his concierge. He was happy for the privacy offered by the hotel. He swam to his heart's content working out the day's frustrations until he felt fresh and renewed. He left the pool with an hour left to dinner. Heading upstairs, he smiled when he passed Dan's door. Wiping water from his eyes with his towel, he entered his room looking forward to their night together.

"You're here," a soft feminine voice said and he stopped staring in shock at the woman standing in the middle of his suite. She was dressed in a tight red dress that didn't leave much to the imagination. " _Oppa_ , I've been waiting for you, what took you so long in the pool?"

She started toward him and he took a step back. He'd long learned that such fans weren't harmless. Most of them lost their super nice façade the moment he rejected them. Every bone in his body told him to run, so he forced himself to smile at her and keep calm.

"How did you find me?" he asked as she continued to follow him.

Her heels were high, and sharp, they could easily turn into a weapon. Her long nails too, he noted with a grimace, as she ran a caressing hand down her thigh. He had no clothes on, just his swimming trunks. Taking another few steps back, he felt the door and reached back for the door handle.

" _Oppa_ , don't run away from me," she said, her sweet expression turning into a frustrated one when he turned the lock.

He pulled the door open and lunged into the corridor. He ran to Dan's door and pounded. She reached him just as Dan opened his door and he threw himself into Dan's room just as her nails scratched his back as she tried to grab on to him.

" _Oppa_!" the crazed woman shouted angrily.

Dan pushed her back and slammed the door closed.

Jae exhaled in relief and moved to sit on the nearest coffee table. His back stung and he couldn't stop trembling. Dan rushed to his side.

"Where was she?" Dan asked touching his bare shoulder.

"In my room," Jae said with a sigh trying to touch the stinging spot on his back with his left hand. "She scratched me."

Dan cursed under his breath and inspected his back.

"I'll call the hotel's in-house doctor, and then I'll call security."

Dan moved away to get his cell phone. While he made calls, Jae went to the bathroom to check his back. He'd been right about her nails; he scowled staring at the four scratches on his back.

_Did she think she was a cat? Damn sasaeng fans_ , he cursed.

He shuddered at the thought of how long she'd been in his suite. He had no way of knowing what she'd done to his things. There was no way he was going to sleep in that suite tonight

He sighed.

"The doctor is here." Dan came into the bathroom and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Security has the woman in custody. She won't bother you again."

Jae nodded and allowed Dan to lead him into the living room. The hotel doctor was a young woman who disinfected the scratches on his back and applied a cream.

"You're going to be fine," she advised. "If it starts hurting more than usual, be sure to visit your doctor."

When she left, Dan came to sit next to him and for the first time, Jae realized Dan was dressed for their date. He looked handsome in a lightweight white t-shirt, white slacks **,** and a pale blue jacket. Dark locks combed back away from Dan's face, made Jae just want to ruffle them with his fingers, make them messy again.

"Do you want to stay?" Dan asked looking at him with a worried expression. "We can head back to Seoul right now."

Jae stared at him at a loss.

"How did she get in to my room?" he asked then answered his own question. "I know. She probably paid off someone downstairs. Gods, it never gets old. I kept thinking about Andre and how that crazy fan in South America almost kidnapped him. It's really unfair that I can't beat them up."

Jae shook his head.

"I can't protect you, Dan. What if she'd come in and found us together?" He dropped his face into his hands. "This life of mine is so hard sometimes. Why can't they just leave us alone?"

Dan moved closer on the couch and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"I can take it. I'm not afraid."

"Can you?" Jae asked meeting Dan's gaze. "The moment they find out about you and me, you're going to hear worse things than you heard back when they thought you were working with the mob."

Dan laughed and held him tighter.

"Let them talk, Jae. What you and I feel for each other is between you and me. Now, how about we change the venue for our dinner?"

Jae chuckled.

"How can you think about food? A crazy woman was just going through my stuff."

"That's precisely why we have to follow our plans," Dan said firmly. He stood and dragged Jae up. "Go into my bedroom, I'll get your stuff."

"Dan," Jae started to protest but Dan silenced him with a fierce kiss that had him clinging to Dan's shoulders. When Dan let him go, he stumbled back.

"We're having our date," Dan insisted and headed to the door. "I'll be back with your stuff."

****

The hotel staff set up a table for two by the windows in his suite. They had a lovely view of the beach and the hotel's lighted gardens. Their food was perfect; Jae was handsome in a light burgundy v-neck shirt and matching slacks. Dan watched him mangle his carrot cake with his fork. Despite their lovely setting, Jae seemed lost in his thoughts. No doubt worrying about the crazy fan earlier, Dan thought with a sigh.

He pushed his own dessert away and reached for Jae's hand.

"What's on your mind now?"

Jae looked up shaking his head.

"Nothing really, the food is delicious."

"I'm quite sure you have no idea what we just ate," Dan said lacing their fingers together.

Jae chuckled and moved his cake away so that he could lean his elbows on the table.

"This isn't the date I'd planned."

"Is that what's bothering you?" Dan asked.

Jae shrugged.

"I'm not really the romantic sort, but I'd hoped to at least try tonight. I've never had the chance to do something like this and I wanted it to be special."

"This _is_ special." Dan said squeezing Jae's fingers. He touched the silver ring on Jae's index finger. "It's our first date."

"I wanted to walk with you on the beach," Jae confessed. "Holding hands, doing something cheesy like the songs I sing about. Isn't that stupid?"

Dan laughed. "No, it's not stupid. But, you're not everyone, Jae."

"Well, I wish I was," Jae said with a sigh turning his gaze out the window. "No one would care who I was, and we'd just spend time on the beach without worry. I'd kiss you whenever and wherever I wanted."

Dan tugged his hand.

"I like this Jae very much," he said quietly. "You're enough for me, so stop worrying. And if you want to kiss me so much, I'm right here."

Jae turned to look at him with a mischievous look.

"If I can kiss you when I want, why did you put us in different rooms? Not to mention you've spent the last week dragging me through all kinds of outdoor shenanigans."

"Didn't you like it?" Dan asked feigning shock.

"Playing golf," Jae scoffed and pushed his chair back. He stood and came around the table to Dan's side. "Did I look like I was having fun?"

Dan laughed and moved his chair back. Jae straddled him, settling on his lap with his arms on Dan's shoulders. Dan bit his lower lip as lust flared. He dropped his hands to Jae's hips, pulling him closer, his hands sliding up Jae's back, caressing sinewy muscles through the light shirt. Jae wrapped his arms around his neck and lowered his head to his left ear.

"I want you, Dan," Jae said then trailed hot little kisses along his neck, then up his jaw to his mouth. When they kissed, Dan bunched Jae's shirt with his fingers.

Gods help him, but he wanted Jae too.

***

Jae sunk his fingers in Dan's hair, and tugged the strands out of the neat style. Dan groaned and tried to move his head away but Jae wouldn't let him. He combed his fingers through the thick soft strands and laughed when Dan bit his chin in retaliation. A soft love bite that sent delicious thrills running through him.

"The first time I saw you, I thought you were an unkempt lawyer." Jae studied the dark tresses, watching the ends curl into an unruly mess. He pushed Dan's hair back making Dan look at him. "You were so irritating."

Dan chuckled and Jae felt his fingers slide under his shirt. When Dan caressed his back, warm fingers tracing his backbone, Jae couldn't help letting out a gasp.

"If I was irritating, you were annoying," Dan said pressing a kiss on his collarbone.

Jae tightened his fingers in Dan's hair when Dan's lips trailed hot wet kisses to his neck. Dan's kisses turned into nibbling bites on his skin that made him squirm on Dan's lap. He could feel Dan's hard erection under him, and his breathing quickened. He closed his eyes when Dan finally kissed his lips again.

A wave of raw burning desire burst through him when Dan tightened his arms around him and murmured, "I want you too, Jae."

They ended up on Dan's bed, naked. Lights blazing, Jae lay beside Dan tracing his fingers over Dan's chest, enjoying the contrast of his hand against Dan's pale skin. Dan lay on his back, arms under his head, watching through hooded eyes as Jae explored his chest. Jae smiled slightly when he touched Dan's right nipple. A soft gasp escaped Dan's lips and he rewarded him by pinching the hard nub.

Dan shot him a glare and he chuckled. Leaning over to lick the tortured nipple, Jae kissed it and bathed it with his tongue. When Dan's fingers sunk into his hair, he sucked hard on the nub then did the same thing when Dan urged him to the left nipple.

His fingers continued their exploration down Dan's flat stomach; he traced the soft trail of dark hair to Dan's straining cock. The long hard length burned in his palm when he wrapped his fingers around it. He trailed kisses down Dan's chest, pausing at his stomach to swirl his tongue around Dan's belly button. Dan hissed and he lifted his gaze to meet needy dark eyes. He continued lower, shifting so that he was straddling Dan's thighs. He gave all his attention to Dan's cock. Taking his time, he stroked the pulsing length, covering the soft sensitive skin with pre-cum; he lowered his head and touched the tip with his tongue tasting Dan. Sweet, and musky, he bathed the tip with his tongue again and smiled when Dan arched his hips into his hand. He took the head into his mouth, sucking gently and then pulling back, teasing Dan and driving him to the edge.

When Dan's fingers bunched in his hair tight, he quickened his strokes, making them faster until Dan exploded in his mouth with a harsh gasp. Dan fell back on the pillows breathing hard. Jae stroked him gently then sat back on his heels, his gaze falling on his own cock. He was so hard, needing release; when he moved to touch himself, Dan grabbed his hand and sat up.

"Mine," Dan growled pulling him into a frenzied kiss.

Clawing desire burned through him, making him moan when Dan pushed him on his back. Dan lay over him and deepened their kiss. His cock rubbed against Dan's stomach and he grinded his hips against him, but Dan rose to his knees and stopped him.

"I've waited years for you," Dan said quietly, touching his jaw.

Jae smiled and took Dan's hand. Bringing his thumb to his mouth, he bit the rough finger slightly then soothed it with a lick.

"I'm right here," he said holding Dan's dark gaze.

Dan touched his lips with his thumb then he leaned down and took his mouth in a feverish kiss. Fire ignited then, Jae could only hang on as Dan took over. He trembled when Dan trailed hot wet kisses down his stomach, and his hips arched of their own accord when Dan took his aching erection into his scorching mouth. With his sweat-sleeked body shaking with need, Jae sobbed and begged for release. Dan sucked him until he was close, but never gave in to Jae's pleading. Instead, Dan moved away from the bed and reached for a bag on the bedside table. Jae watched him get out a tube of lube and a pack of condoms. He dropped those on the bed and uncapped the lube. Eager for him, Jae met Dan's gaze and spread his legs. Dan smiled slightly as he shifted back between his open thighs. Jae watched him coat his fingers with lube and drop the bottle on the bed. He bit his lip when Dan ran his cool fingers along his cock, down to his asshole. When Dan slipped one finger inside him, he closed his eyes and arched into Dan's gentle, probing strokes. When Dan added another finger, he bit his lip, feeling his insides adjust to the pressure of having Dan inside him. He groaned when Dan added a third, his toes curling, he opened his eyes and met Dan's heated gaze. A gasp escaped when Dan found his prostate and stroked it, Jae felt his cock thicken, and he erupted in a gut-wrenching orgasm, sending streaks of cum on his stomach and on Dan.

Dan withdrew his fingers and leaned to kiss him. Jae moaned opening his mouth to take Dan's tongue. He reached for a condom and ripped it open. He took Dan's hardening cock and stroked him twice before he slid the condom on. Dan broke their kiss and took the bottle of lube again. Coating his condom-sheathed cock with the lube, he urged Jae on to his stomach, and tugged his hips so that he was on his knees.

Jae sighed when Dan ran his hands over his back, then grabbed his hips and tugged him against his hard cock. He closed his eyes when he felt Dan push into him. His opening felt tight, for a split second, he was afraid Dan might be too big. He gritted his teeth against the pain when Dan pushed inside hard, he gasped at the feel of Dan sliding into him. So big, so thick, he felt so full. The pain subsided, leaving waves of pleasure as he arched his back and shifted his knees wider giving himself up to Dan. Bunching the covers in his fists, Jae exhaled when Dan pulled out and pushed in again, the feel of him so scorching he shook with need. Dan leaned over him, pressing kisses on his shoulder, hands at his hips, as Jae arched into Dan's thrusts, rolling his hips in delight. Biting his lip, he moaned deep when Dan's cock drove into him harder, each thrust dragging over that part of him deep inside that sent mind-numbing thrills that threatened to short out his brain. He came again with a hoarse cry, vaguely aware of Dan's fingers tightening at his hips. The next thing he knew, they were both laying on the bed exhausted, little bolts of pleasure sweeping through him every time Dan breathed. He never wanted to move again.

Dan slipped out of him, and turned him around so that they faced each other. He sighed when Dan kissed him. Jae shifted his leg over Dan's hip and cuddled close. He closed his eyes when Dan wrapped an arm around his back, and sunk fingers into his hair. He fell asleep in the safety of Dan's embrace.

****

Jae lay on his stomach the next morning watching Dan sleep.

Sleeping Dan was cute, he thought with a small smile.

His dark hair a wild mess, his lips slightly parted, Jae resisted the urge to trace them. Letting out a breath, he hugged his pillow tighter and tried to stop the shaky feelings inside him. Every cell in his body felt like it was bursting with energy, and he wanted to wrap his arms around Dan and never let go. It scared him a bit.

Closing his eyes, he breathed out his anxiety into the pillow and wondered how he was going to stop his heart from foolishly falling for this man. If he didn't stop himself, this was going to be worse than what he'd gone through with Jaesun. Dan reached a part of him he hadn't even known existed.

His eyes flew open when Dan shifted beside him. He watched Dan's eyes open, blinking sleep away, and his heart skipped violently when that dark gaze turned to him. Dan smiled and shifted to his right so that they faced each other.

"Morning," Dan greeted leaning over to press a kiss on his forehead. "You're wide awake."

Jae smiled and would have spoken but Dan took his lips in a leisurely kiss. Letting go of his pillow, Jae reached for Dan, wrapping his arms around Dan's neck pressing their bodies together.

Dan broke the kiss, "That's a hell of a good morning."

Jae buried his face in Dan's chest.

"Can we stay in here for the rest of this vacation?" Jae asked not ready to leave this paradise. Suddenly it didn't matter what the future held. He didn't care.

"Jae?" Dan asked holding him tighter. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." Jae said. "I'm just, I-,"

Dan chuckled sleepily and pulled back to study him.

"We can order in," Dan said after a moment.

***

The Sunday before their month **-** long holiday ended, Jae decided he was going to make dinner to celebrate. Junghee and Andre were coming back to Seoul. He wanted to tell them about Dan, and show off his house. With Dan at his office, and no actual staff to help him shop, Jae left his house and headed out to the supermarket.

As he drove through the afternoon traffic, his thoughts lingered on the past two weeks. His brain still caught up in the dreamy haze of those days and nights spent in Dan's suite. He hardened with the memory of making love with Dan. They'd spent every minute tangled in each other's arms. When they weren't making love, they talked. Dan had told him about his vision for Jade Entertainment and the things he wanted to do for Rebellion but couldn't yet. Jae had felt humbled listening to him. He pulled into the supermarket parking lot and sat for a moment. He'd spent the past three years focused on Rebellion, not paying attention to his family, or the fight he'd left up to Dan to handle when they'd asked him to create Jade Entertainment.

Now he was back in Seoul, and the fight ahead of them scared him. Their opponent was hard, relentless. Having Dan in his life, as a lover and a friend, made him happy but it also meant he had so much more to lose. If they wanted to fight for Rebellion, those people were going to work toward uncovering every part of his life.

He pulled out the keys from the ignition and stared at them.

The night before they'd left Jeju Island, Dan had told him he could quit if he wanted when he'd voiced his reluctance to leave their private paradise and start another battle against corporations.

_"You, Junghee, and Andre have made the statement you wanted to make. Rebellion might not be able to play at home, but you've earned recognition worldwide. You're wealthy enough never to work again. If you tell me you want to stop and just run Jade Entertainment or whatever, I'll be okay with it."_

Dan's quiet advice filled his head and he suddenly realized that he wanted to stop. He wanted to walk away, and be satisfied with what they'd achieved _._

_If he stopped now, he'd get to keep Dan forever,_ he thought.

He'd be able to wake up next to him and love him with all he had **.** Jae sighed and closed his eyes.

_Love,_ he was truly losing his mind.

Dan made him feel this way. With one kiss, Dan made him feel like he was the only person that mattered in the world.

Touching his lips, he sighed and opened his eyes needing to get back to reality. His reality included Junghee and Andre. He had to remember them, always. This was their future too, he couldn't afford people hating, and blaming him like Jaesun did. Walking out of N-sang together had tied their fates for life. His decisions weren't his alone.

Getting out of the car, he tugged his white cap lower on his head and adjusted his reading glasses. Taking a paper from his pocket, he read the list of ingredients. The plan was get in, find the stuff, and get out. Too bad the weather was hot; he couldn't really wear a hoody without attracting attention. Tapping the pocket on his jeans, he nodded when he felt his cell phone. Dan was going to kill him if he found out he'd gone into a supermarket alone. Locking the car, he headed into the supermarket.

Jae pushed his reading glasses higher on his face and tugged his white cap lower. Gripping the shopping cart, he paused in the fish aisle and stared at the wide selection. He'd gotten everything on his list except for the fish and the chili peppers. So far, no one had paid attention to him, so all was well.

"Can I help you?"

Jae winced and wondered if he could get out of this with just pointing. He shook his head and turned away from the fish.

"Mr. Customer," the sales clerk said coming around to stop him. "Don't walk away, I'll help you. What are you looking for?"

Jae bit his lip and turned to look at the nice young man. When he didn't get a scream in reaction, he looked back at the fish.

"I want eighteen ounces of monkfish fillet."

"Oh, what are you cooking?" the young man asked hurrying back around his counter. He put on his gloves and Jae relaxed. "No, don't tell me. Is it for fish fry or braised monkfish?"

Jae smiled. "Which one do you like better?"

"Braised monkfish, especially when it's extra spicy," the sales clerk said. He worked fast, measuring his fish, and then wrapping it. "Do you want anything else?"

Jae shook his head and reached for the package. He frowned when the sales clerk held on to his fish and instead passed him a white paper and pen.

"Please," the sales clerk said, "sign for me."

Jae gasped and looked around at the busy supermarket. He looked at the sales clerk again and frowned when the young man winked at him.

"Please," the sales clerk insisted.

Taking the pen, Jae signed his name and looked at the sales clerk expectantly.

"Best sales clerk ever," the young man said.

Jae wrote as instructed and handed the paper over. "Can I have my fish?"

"Are you making a meal for two?" the young man asked holding out the package.

Jae tugged the package, glaring at the sales clerk who kept holding on.

"For my friends," he answered when it was obvious the sales clerk wouldn't let go.

"Ah." The young man let go and Jae dumped the package in his cart. "Thank you so much."

Jae nodded and hurried to the fresh produce section. He was busy choosing the chili peppers when the shouts started near the fish aisle. Determined to finish buying what he wanted, he continued choosing his peppers then headed to check out. Tugging his cap lower, he got to the line with his head held down.

His phone buzzed when he was packing his groceries. Thanking the checkout clerk, he answered his phone and headed for the exit.

"Where are you?" Dan asked.

"Supermarket," Jae answered.

He turned back in time to see the fish sales clerk appear at the checkout lines. He left the supermarket with a smile and rushed toward his Jeep.

"Kim Jaehan!" Dan exploded in his ear. "Oh my gods! Which supermarket? Are you safe? I'm going to-,"

"Calm down," Jae said getting to the Jeep. He dumped his bags on the passenger seat and drove out of the parking lot. "I'm hoping you're coming home early. Dinner is at six o'clock. Junghee and Andre are coming over."

"Jae," Dan started clearly worried.

"I'm in my car, safely," Jae said, "and show up on time."

"You make me...crazy," Dan said before he hung up.

Jae chuckled and started his car. _Dan._

****

**10. Dating, Romance Get Me A Drink!**

"I'm moving in to your house," Junghee said dropping onto the comfortable black couch in the basement studio. "This place is amazing."

Jae laughed happily and picked up a throw pillow from an armchair.

"My house your house, Jung," he said.

"Are you happy?"

Jae leaned on the wall and hugged the pillow to his chest.

"Jung, Dan and I-,"

"He loves you," Junghee cut in sitting up on the couch.

Jae blushed. Heat flooding his face, he dropped his gaze to the floor and mumbled, "It's not there yet."

"Maybe not for you," Junghee said with a sigh. "You're blinder than a bat during the day. Three years going and you still haven't noticed. He's done so many things he wouldn't do for anyone else."

Jae chuckled. Of course, Junghee would have noticed.

_He saw everything_ , Jae thought.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

"Your head was buried in Rebellion."

"It still is," he said quietly. "I can't afford to let it slip away from Rebellion."

Junghee narrowed his gaze at him.

"Jae, maybe the key is to change gears. Carrying around this anger is getting exhausting."

Jae closed his eyes.

"Don't you think we're still on the defense? Two weeks ago, Dan and Mr. Chang were talking about how Rebellion was not landing on music charts, music shows, and having appearance cancellations. How can I not be angry?"

"Take a step back," Junghee advised quietly. "Every time you think of N-sang and our past, you get angry. I wish you'd let it go."

"Let it go," Jae said opening his eyes. "Jung, what do you think they're going to let us do in this city? I love being on stage, singing, selling our music. Those people-,"

"I know," Junghee interrupted him. " _Hyung-,"_

"I told you to quit that."

Junghee stood and came to stand before him. "Why are you punishing yourself? We all made the decision to leave with you. We, Andre and I, we've suffered right with you, leaving our home and going out there. I understand what you're feeling when it comes to those people hindering us. However, Jae, it's exhausting to carry their actions on your shoulders. Hasn't Dan healed that part of you?"

Jae met his gaze in shock. "Jung."

"He's got a way with you," Junghee said. "He makes you calm down. Goodness, if it were up to you, we'd be protesting on the streets and burning CD's."

"It seems appropriate," Jae said. "I'm a bit scared actually."

"I figured." Junghee said folding his arms against his chest.

He leaned on the wall beside Jae.

"Dan is freaking you out, isn't he? You've probably been thinking about Rebellion, and how you're going to keep your relationship. Also, Jaesun and how he'll react the moment we get back in the industry. It's terrible to say this of someone I considered a brother, but Jaesun has a mean streak."

Jae nodded.

"Well," Junghee made a show of thinking.

Jae smiled when Junghee bumped his shoulder.

"Dan's good for you. He's seen us through some hellish years, all alone out there. He won't let us down."

Jae met his gaze. "You're so sure."

Junghee shrugged. "I'd tell you if I wasn't."

Jae took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. His heart settled because Junghee's approval mattered. If Junghee couldn't see any fault, then he was on the right path. Pushing off the wall, he tossed the throw pillow on the couch.

"Let's go eat," he said with a grin. "I'm suddenly starving."

Junghee chuckled and followed him up the stairs to the living room. The doorbell rang just as they entered the kitchen. Junghee went to open the door while Jae went to set the kitchen table for dinner. Andre walked in just as he was placing the pot of braised fish on the table.

"Jae," Andre said happily and rushed to him. Jae laughed when Andre wrapped him in a tight hug. "I missed you so much. Were you lonely? How's your mum? Oh my goodness, your house is great, and private. I almost couldn't find it."

Jae held on to Andre for a moment longer. The questions kept tumbling out, and he looked up to find Dan leaning on the wall by the kitchen entrance. Dark eyes held his, and he smiled when Junghee joined in on the hug. Still by the door, Dan grinned and winked at him.

Dinner was full of wild recounts of their holidays. Jae sat beside Dan listening to Junghee talk about his family holiday, then Andre and his brother who'd spent their time touring Daegu. Jae buried his face in his hands when Dan told them about his miserable golf game.

"The last time we played with him, he threw his golf club in the lake," Junghee said with a laugh. "He started walking back to the clubhouse. Luckily, I'd kept the key to the golf cart."

"You stink at golf, Jae. We should just accept it," Andre teased finishing the last of his wine.

"Enough," Jae said glaring at Dan. "You started this, should I tell them about the boat ride?"

Dan's eyes widened at his threat. "Let's change the topic."

"No way, I want to hear about the boat ride," Junghee protested.

Dan picked up the wine bottle and filled Junghee's, and then Andre's glass.

"Maybe another day, I'm so happy you're all back in town. Jae was lonely without you."

"Aww..." Andre said, his gaze moving from Dan then to Jae. "Are we going to talk about you two?"

"No," Jae said shaking his head.

He moved to stand, but Dan placed a hand on his thigh to stop him. Jae turned to look at him and gasped when Dan kissed his cheek.

"I really like our Jae," Dan said smiling at him. Turning to Junghee and Andre, he bowed his head slightly. "I hope you can accept us together."

Junghee laughed and Andre said, "It's about time. I was getting tired of watching you watch him from afar."

Jae sighed and bowed his head too.

"Thank you, guys," he said.

"Why are you thanking us?" Junghee asked sitting back. "We're the ones who should be grateful to Dan. He's going to have to deal with your obnoxious moods more than us."

"Obnoxious moods," Jae raised an eyebrow at Junghee. "What are you saying?"

Andre stood and started gathering their dishes.

"Jung, help me with the dishes and stop baiting Jae."

They ended up in the living room talking until it was past midnight. Dan had already gone to bed in Jae's bedroom. With Junghee and Andre settled, Jae headed to the master bedroom. He locked the door behind him and removed his t-shirt, dumping it on the floor. Walking to the bed, he undid his trousers and dropped them to the floor. Slipping under the sheets, he propped his head up with his left hand and watched Dan sleep. Touching the dark shadow on Dan's chin, he leaned close and pressed a soft kiss on Dan's forehead.

Dan opened his eyes.

"Jae," he said sleepily.

"Go to sleep." Jae said shifting lower on the bed.

He turned his back to Dan, and smiled when Dan slipped an arm over him and pulled him into a cuddle.

***

Dan woke feeling a warm and wet sensation around his cock. He let out a soft moan and pried open his eyes. He felt his cock get harder at the sight before him. Jae had pushed down the covers. They were both naked and Jae was on his knees, his head bobbing up and down, as he sucked and licked Dan's hardness. Jae's eyes met his as he took his length deeper into his mouth.

He felt his tip push against the back of Jae's throat as he arched his hips up and gripped the sheets in ecstasy. He fought to control himself because all he wanted to do was to thrust in and out of Jae's hot, wet mouth. Jae slowly pulled off Dan's rock hard cock and slowly began kissing up his body. He placed hot kisses up Dan's treasure trail, stopping at his bellybutton to swirl his tongue around it. He continued on his journey until he reached Dan's nipples, which were hard nubs poking out from his toned chest. Jae's tongue found its way over to the left nipple, swirling itself around and then sucking it into his mouth. Jae suckled the nipple as Dan moaned louder and his hips started to thrust up of their own accord. Jae then rained kisses towards his right nipple, where he gave it the same treatment as the left. Dan's hand made its way down his torso and gripped his leaking cock. Just when he was going to start stroking himself, Jae gently pushed his hand off.

Dan moaned in frustration and met mischievous brown eyes. Jae's mouth left Dan's right nipple and he kissed his way up to Dan's mouth where he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. Dan tangled his fingers into Jae's hair, as their lips met in a full kiss. Their tongues wrapped themselves around each other. Jae slowly began grinding his hips into Dan's bringing their leaking members together.

Jae broke the kiss to whisper hotly into his ear. "You are so hot, Dan. I want you so badly."

Jae shimmied down Dan's torso again, peppering his stomach and inner thighs with kisses and little nips, bypassing his pulsing cock that was just begging for attention. He flattened out his tongue and gently slid it against the rough texture of Dan's heavy balls, causing him to buck up and grip the sheets again. Jae slowly licked up and down his sac and then took each ball into his mouth, lightly swirling his tongue around them.

He popped the second ball out of his mouth and lifted the sac, licking lower until he reached Dan's pink opening. He continued licking around his rosebud, then pointed his tongue and began darting in and out of his hole. Dan gasped above him, arching his hips up again. Jae stopped his ministrations, causing Dan to make a grunt of disapproval. Jae chuckled, pausing to give him a soft kiss, as he reached up towards the night table, opening the top drawer and grabbing the lube and a condom. Dan closed his eyes thinking that he had never felt so good before. No one had ever done that to him and he couldn't believe how great it felt. He heard the pop of the lube and then felt a cool sensation as Jae swirled the cool liquid around his opening. He felt one finger enter him and he tried not to clench around it.

Jae felt Dan's muscles grip his finger and all he could think about was how wonderful that would feel around his hard cock. He'd never topped Dan before, so he was actually pleasantly surprised that his boyfriend wasn't objecting to this. Jae knew Dan liked what he was doing because his hips kept moving and he was moaning continuously. Jae added a second finger, scissoring him for a while. He added a third finger, stretching Dan until he was satisfied he was relaxed enough to take his hard length. Jae moved up and looked at his boyfriend.

Dan watched him with half-lidded eyes, filled with unbridled lust. Jae grabbed the condom, ripping it open with trembling hands, his eyes locked on Dan's, his body burning with need.

After he put the condom on, he coated his length with a generous amount of lube and positioned himself at Dan's opening.

"Jae, please," Dan moaned. "I need you. I want to feel you inside me. Please." Dan's pleading voice was a big turn-on for Jae and he started rubbing his hardness all around Dan's hole. "Mmm, stop teasing me and fuck me already. Jae, I need you. Ahhhh!" he gasped as he felt Jae's hard cock breach his hole for the first time.

Dan's rectum was gripping Jae's cock so wonderfully; it was all he could do not to slam into his boyfriend. Jae looked down into Dan's face to make sure he wasn't hurting him. He saw Dan grimace so he stopped his slow movements and waited. Dan gave a small nod and that was all Jae needed to start moving again. He continued pushing into his boyfriend, moving slowly and gently, giving him plenty of time to adjust to the intrusion.

Dan couldn't believe how good this felt. Sure, at first it hurt. He wasn't going to lie; it hurt a lot, but with each of Jae's movements, the pain slowly faded and the pleasure increased until Jae was enthusiastically thrusting in and out of him. Jae hit that spot inside of him that had gasping in ecstasy. His entire body sizzled; every nerve in his body was alive, and he arched into Jae's thrusts as the world shifted.

Jae knew exactly when he hit his boyfriend's sweet spot. Dan was writhing underneath him, his face flushed, his eyes closed, as he thrust up, trying to match Jae's movements. Dan moaned, his body covered with a thin sheen of sweat.

"Harder!" Dan panted, hands on Jae's hips. He'd only ever allowed his first boyfriend to take him and it hadn't felt like this. Having Jae inside him was incredible and fantastic; he never wanted it to end. The way Jae angled his hips that made him hit that spot over and over, made stars pop out in front of Dan's eyes.

Jae felt his boyfriend's orgasm start when the muscles of his rectum clenched so deliciously around him. Jae kept pumping into him faster and harder to give Dan even more pleasure. He had to control himself not to come as Dan's orgasm overtook him and come shot out of his throbbing cock all over his chest. Jae's thrusts turned erratic, and sweat coated his forehead. Suddenly, Jae gave a loud shout, and came in a hard thrust that sent delightful thrills throughout Dan's body. Jae collapsed on top of Dan, pressing his lips against Dan's shoulder when strong arms wrapped around him.

Dan sunk fingers into Jae's hair.

"Let's do that again," he purred into Jae's ear.

"Give me a minute. I'll recharge soon and I'll take you on," Jae said in between deep breaths. He never wanted to move.

A few moments later Dan heard Jae's even breathing telling him he'd fallen asleep.

***

An hour later, they stood in the large shower stall in the master bedroom. Dan washed his back with a loofer, placing kisses along his neck under the hot water.

"Dan," Jae said leaning his head back against Dan's chest.

"Hmm," Dan said lazily.

"What are we going to do about Rebellion?" he asked quietly.

"What we've always done," Dan answered. "Keep working hard."

"What about-"

"Don't worry about them," Dan said turning Jae around so that he could look into his eyes. "I need you guys to get started on your next album. When you're finished, I'll officially announce that Rebellion has joined the Jade Entertainment family and we'll meet your fans."

"A ton of trouble will descend when you make that announcement," Jae pointed out wrapping his arms around Dan's neck. "Are you ready?"

"Quite ready," Dan said with a reassuring smile. "Rebellion needs to get back to work. _Rough Terrain_ is old news; we need new music and in Korean. From there, we market guerrilla-style. Since they won't let you make appearances, we'll have to find other ways for the fans to meet you."

Jae sighed and nodded. Leaning up, he took Dan's lips in a needy kiss. He wanted to hold off facing their fans a little longer. Studio time would work to do that just fine he thought. Dan held him close, smashing their naked bodies together. It would give him more time with Dan and this addictive flaming desire. He held on tight and took all he could from Dan.

***

They worked out of the studio in his basement for the next two months. Jae valued this creative time in the studio the most. Junghee and Andre had moved in temporarily. They worked hard, played hard, sleeping odd hours, spending endless hours perfecting raw music, molding it into hair-raising melodies.

He burped and groaned as he moved to stand and the world tilted. He also drank too much. Junghee and Andre had the easy job, he decided. Writing lyrics was grueling, expressing emotions through words; he sighed and stared at the bottle of wine on the table. He'd finished writing the lyrics to the last song on their new untitled album.

He sat back on the couch to stare at the ceiling. Dan wasn't coming home tonight. He'd gone to Tokyo four days ago; he was probably dealing with their impossible situation with the Rand Agency.

Jae sighed again and closed his eyes.

Dan.

Since their vacation had ended, he and Dan were living in a state of euphoria. Jae dared not define their relationship, preferring to take it day by day. He and Dan spent every second they could together. An easy thing especially since Dan had practically moved into his house. Writing their new album took up all his time. Jae was glad Dan understood this side of him, especially when they stayed up all night. Most of his previous boyfriends had found that annoying. He could spend days in the studio until the music in a song clicked. On the nights they got the song right, he'd head upstairs to find Dan in his bed.

He had to admit, he was addicted to Dan's warmth, and the feel of him wrapped around him. He liked that Dan didn't argue with him, instead, Dan accepted his studio lifestyle. There had been a few issues, like house chores. They tried to keep up with cleaning, but whenever they went into the studio, the cleaning gene temporarily went dormant. Dan had tried to get them a cleaning service, but none of them was eager to have strangers around just yet.

Dan had taken to asking So Jin, his sister, to stop by his house whenever she could to help.

Thinking about her, Jae felt a surge of guilt flood him, So Jin kept pushing him to go visit their mother. He hadn't gotten a chance to drive back to Gong these past two months. He called Gae In whenever he could, but time off was hard to get.

It was a wonder Gae In hadn't made the trip to Seoul to find him. He'd yet to show her his new house, and he really wanted her to see it. He sighed, his sister was right. He was becoming a bad son.

"Do you want coffee?" Junghee asked coming down the stairs. "Your sister is upstairs cooking. She says you only get coffee if you go upstairs to eat."

The scent of delicious sweet coffee teased his nostrils and he lifted his head to find Junghee holding a huge white mug.

"If I beg you, will you bring me coffee?"

"I'm not crossing So Jin- _Noona_ when she's in charge of my food." Junghee grinned at him and took a sip of his fragrant coffee. "You look like hell. A hot meal will fix whatever is ailing you. Did you finish writing the lyrics?"

Jae nodded and pointed to the scribbling pad on the table beside the bottle.

"This one was harder."

Junghee moved to pick up the pad. The words on that pad revealed a part of him he'd never shared with Junghee before; it was a side he was only discovering himself, he thought as he started to panic. Afraid of Junghee's reaction, Jae got up before he started reading and hurried to the stairs.

His stomach rumbled when he got up to the main floor and the scent of _gimchi_ -fried rice hit him. _Gods_ , he was hungry. When was the last time he'd eaten? He couldn't remember.

Scratching the stubble on his chin, he walked into the kitchen to find So Jin dancing to a Black Shade song. He leaned on the doorjamb and watched her clear off the table she'd been using to chop vegetables. He'd always loved So Jin the most. He wasn't supposed to have favorites when it came to family, but she had the same temperament he did. They'd always gotten into trouble together, gone out clubbing together; she'd backed him up when he'd decided to head to Seoul to audition. She was also the only one of his sisters who knew about his being gay. Not that he was ashamed of it, his older sisters were just in a generation that wouldn't understand him, he decided. It was hard to confide in them when they had to worry about their own families.

"There you are," So Jin said as she washed her hands at the sink. "Jae, you look terrible. When was the last time you slept?"

He rubbed his face.

"Are the bags under my eyes scaring you?"

"They're going to reach your chin if you're not careful," she teased. "And what's with the hair, are you growing it out?"

He winced. Of course, she'd notice he hadn't bothered with his hair for two months. It had grown out of the Mohawk cut he'd had during his tour. The messy dark locks were in a haphazard ponytail on top of his head.

"Do you want me to shampoo it for you?" she asked with a grin. "We can do it right here in the sink. Mum's not here to make noise."

The offer sounded good, growing up in a house full of girls he'd gotten his hair shampooed and treated whether he wanted it or not. Most of the time it was done in the kitchen sinks and Gae In had punished him and So Jin whenever she caught them. Fun times in the Kim house, he thought with a smile.

His sister wiped her hands on her apron and came to tug him to take a seat at the kitchen table. She sniffed him as he sat and sighed. She tugged his faded green t-shirt.

"How much did you drink down there?"

"A whole bottle of wine," he confessed leaning his elbows on the table.

She smacked his shoulders.

"You're turning into a drunk. Elbows off the table, geez, and the manners in this house are deteriorating. Andre is the only man worth the attention."

" _Noona_ ," Jae said dropping his arms on to his lap. "Did you get dumped again?"

She threw him an angry glance as she got a plate from the cupboard.

"Jae, are you looking to get smacked?"

He laughed.

"You only talk about table manners when you're having men problems."

"Men," she scoffed scooping chicken _gimchi_ _-_ fried rice onto a plate. She placed the food before him. Handing him a spoon, she sat across him.

"Jae, what makes a guy take a girl out for weeks, and then he suddenly stops answering his phone and doesn't return messages? I mean, I am not a psychic to know what is bothering him. I'm also not going to go to his house to look for him. That would be desperate. If he doesn't want to see me, I'm not throwing myself in his arms."

The food was good, his hunger taking over as he ate. He'd barely eaten breakfast or lunch. He frowned, what time was it anyway? Glancing out the window, he glared at it when he saw it was dark out.

"What time is it?"

"Are you listening to me?" So Jin scowled at him.

"This is not the first time a guy has done this to you." Jae shrugged. "Unless you want me to go beat him up, let him go," Jae advised.

"It's midnight, you punk." So Jin poured water into a glass and held it out. "Drink before you choke. Seriously, what kind of advice is that? What if that guy of mine is the one, and I just let him go like this? Are you going to take responsibility for my lifetime of loneliness?"

Jae drank the water she offered and took another bite of his food, had it always tasted this good? He looked up to find So Jin waiting and he said with his mouth full.

" _Noona,_ look at you, you're-"

She slapped a hand over his mouth.

"If you mention my age, I'm going to stuff your food down your throat with a shovel."

He choked down the food already in his mouth and shook his head. She narrowed her gaze at him and he gave her a pleading look. Any more pressure on his mouth and nose and he was going to die, suffocated by his own sister.

She let go and he took in a deep breath.

"Seriously, I wasn't going to mention your age, you crazy woman."

She wiped her hand on her pink apron and sat back in her seat.

"I'm going to die alone," she lamented shaking her head. "I wish Junghee and Andre were older. Then I'd marry one of them."

Jae laughed and stuffed his mouth with food when she glared at him. She took a clean glass from the tray on the table and poured herself water. Taking a sip, she frowned.

"When are you going home to see mum?" she asked.

He swallowed hard before he answered.

"I'll go, soon," he said solemnly.

"How's the album going?" she asked after a moment. "Dan won't talk about it, he just said to make sure you guys ate and slept. Isn't he coming back tomorrow?"

Jae nodded. "We're almost done, one last song to record."

"Is it going to be like _Rough Terrain_? I really loved that," she said with a wide smile. "Even though I'm terrible with English, the music was so much fun to dance to."

"You dance to all our music," he accused fondly.

"Well, it's an icebreaker at a party. Just a month ago, this guy wanted to talk to me but he didn't know what to say. I asked him if he'd listened to your music. Next thing I knew, we were going out, and then," she sighed, "now he's not talking to me."

She shook her head in disappointment, reached out and tugged his left earlobe.

"Jae, I really miss going out with you. Don't you think we should go out when you're done recording?"

"So Jin- _Noona_ ," Jae said finishing his food. He placed his spoon down and met her brown gaze. "You haven't met the right guy yet. Stop worrying, okay?"

"How can I not? Our sisters are all married, living happy lives."

She took his plate and stood up to carry it to the sink.

Her figure was slender in tight blue jeans and a pink blouse, and her hair falling down her back in a thick braid was shiny and well kept. She was a beautiful woman but she had no luck when it came to men, he decided. She always attracted the losers in Seoul. He sighed and finished the rest of his water.

He got up and took his glass to the sink. Taking the plate she was rinsing, he put it on the rack and took her hand.

"Tell me this idiot's name so I can go punch him for you."

"What?"

He scowled at her as they left the kitchen.

"This guy who is not answering your calls, tell me his name. We're going to find him."

"Right now?" she asked reaching behind her to remove her apron. "It's past midnight."

"Less people will recognize me," he said pausing in the living room.

_Where had he left his car keys?_

"Are we going out?" Andre sat up on the couch in the living room looking at him. "Where are we going?"

"To find _Noona's_ lost boyfriend," he said letting go of So Jin's hand.

The last time he'd driven had been a jaunt to the convenience store for ramen.

"I'll drive." Junghee appeared from the back of the house dangling keys on his finger.

Ten minutes later, they were all in his Jeep heading to Sejong, the summer heat kept the night warm. He lowered the window on the passenger seat, the breeze filling the Jeep. In the backseat, So Jin was telling Andre and Junghee about her boyfriend.

"What does he do?" Andre asked gently.

"He's a professor at the Hongik University. He is molding young minds. He is so handsome when he talks about lecturing." So Jin gave a sigh and shook her head. "My heart has no defense when it comes to this kind of man. Andre, you understand, right?"

Andre took her hand and squeezed nodding. Junghee chuckled.

" _Noona,_ are you really in love with him?"

"Of course, every time I get close to him, my heart beats like the drums in your music. I can't breathe."

Jae sighed. "I think you've convinced yourself you're in love with him."

She smacked him upside his head and he winced.

"This punk, you have no romantic bone in your body."

"I beg to differ." Junghee said turning on to the street Jae's sister had directed him to. "I just read lyrics that will prove you wrong, _Noona_."

Jae sighed in relief thinking about the lyrics he'd left Junghee reading. He hadn't intended for that song to end up so mushy. The lyrics had crept up on him, spilling out feelings he preferred not to voice just yet. The music they'd laid out had fiery emphasized electric guitar riffs, driving drums, and a base that sent thrills down his spine. His vocals would be roaring, hard, he had yet to find his comfort zone for the melody. He sighed knowing that Dan had ruined the angst in his lyrics.

"We're here," Junghee said parking the car on the side of the street.

So Jin pointed to a busy building that had a café and bar on the bottom floor.

"He lives on the second floor," she said.

Jae tugged the cap on his head lower and got out of the car. Stretching his arms above his head, he closed the door and dropped an arm over So Jin's shoulders when she emerged.

"We shouldn't be doing this," So Jin said, a frown dancing on her forehead. "You're not sober; Junghee and Andre are here because of you. Let's go back."

"No way," Andre said looking around the busy street. It was past midnight, but people still packed the street. "This is our first outing in weeks. Come on, let's find this guy then go drinking."

"He can buy drinks," Junghee said locking an arm around Andre's neck.

They mock struggled as they crossed the street to the building she'd pointed out. Jae let So Jin lead the way up the stairs to the second floor. Apparently the elevator wasn't working. When they got to the door, his sister froze, her fingers fisted. She turned around to leave, but Junghee knocked.

"I'm not ready," So Jin said, poking Junghee's arm.

"Too late," Andre said as they heard approaching footsteps.

The door opened and they all stared at the young woman who opened the door. She couldn't have been more than twenty years old. Dressed in a tight t-shirt and a short skirt, she looked entitled.

"How can I help you?"

So Jin narrowed her gaze.

"Who are you?"

The girl blinked.

"Yun-Shik's girlfriend," she said. "Are you looking for the professor? He's gone to get beer-"

Jae had to move fast because So Jin launched herself at the girl ready to tear her apart with her nails. Wrapping a tight arm around his sister's waist, he dragged her down the hall and left the girl to Junghee and Andre.

"Let me go," So Jin ordered her voice shaking with anger. "That bastard, I'm going to take out his eyes. How dare he cheat on me with that brat? Did you see her?"

"He's not worth it," Jae soothed leading her toward the stairs. "Don't waste your time on that guy."

When they finally stepped outside, she shoved his arm away and walked to the curb. So Jin kicked a newspaper stand hard with her heels and let out a frustrated cry.

"Bastard, the jerk, he deserves to die."

Jae stopped her before she kicked the stand again. Pulling her into a tight hug, he rubbed her back when a soft sob escaped and he cursed the bastard Yun-Shik.

"I'll take you out drinking; don't think about that guy again."

Andre and Junghee appeared and wordlessly led the way back to the car. Junghee stopped at a convenience store to buy them drinks. So Jin's tears weren't going to allow them to visit a pub tonight. Jae sat in the back with his sister, soothing her as she cried all the way back to his house. Jeez, seeing her like this it was hard to believe she was twenty-eight years old. He wished So Jin would find a guy like Dan. One who would take care of her like Dan took care of Jae and his friends.

***

Dan walked in to a quiet house on Friday morning. Glancing at his watch, he went into the living room and stopped short at the sight before him. Jae was sprawled on the carpet, a couch cushion on his stomach. Junghee had contorted his body into an armchair by the windows. Dan was sure that was going to hurt when he woke up. Andre lay on the couch, and on top of him was So Jin. She was drooling on Andre's white t-shirt, her hair a wild mess spilling over Andre's stomach. Used shot glasses and empty bottles of Soju littered the wooden coffee table. He'd obviously missed a hell of a party.

It was ten o'clock; he hoped Jae's sister had called her work place. Removing his suit jacket, he walked over to Jae. He'd missed him. Traveling and sleeping alone were no fun. Crouching down, he moved the cushion and ran fingers through long black hair, happy just to watch Jae sleep.

His cell phone buzzed at his hip and he sighed. Retrieving the phone without moving, he answered it in a hushed tone.

"Sir, I'm sorry to call you so soon after your trip. But Rebellion is on the news again," Mrs. Kang, his secretary, said. "If you're near a television, tune to Entertainment News, channel 5. Reporters have been calling all morning. Will there be a comment?"

He stood up reluctantly and found the television remote on the messy coffee table. Turning on the screen mounted to the wall to his left, his gaze narrowed at the story running.

' _Music industry critics claim the chances of Rebellion making a comeback are low. Even with album sales abroad, they have yet to capture the local market. Since they arrived back in Seoul three months ago, Rebellion has yet to make a comeback. Insiders say the band is part of Jade Entertainment, but no one inside the company has seen them for weeks. They also speculate that the band has been unable to find a home since they are still struggling through a lawsuit with their former Japanese agency. Is Rebellion over? The fans are hoping not and have been sending petitions to the band's website in an attempt to get a response. We hope Rebellion will respond soon._

_In other news, N-sang announced today that JP is hard at work in the studio prepping a new album. The release date set for early August, with a tour to follow.'_

Junghee shifted in the armchair and Dan switched off the television.

"Dan?" Junghee mumbled rubbing his eyes.

"Mrs. Kang," he said into his phone. "There will be no comment. I'll handle the issue when I get to the office."

"Understood," his secretary hung up just as Junghee unfolded himself from the armchair.

"When did you get here?" Junghee asked pressing a hand to his forehead.

"Geez, we drank too much last night," he complained.

Dan placed the remote control on the coffee table, his gaze returning to his sleeping Jae.

"What time did you fall asleep?"

"Around four am," Junghee answered with a wide yawn. He stretched and groaned. "I'm going for a shower."

Dan moved to wake So Jin. She sat up when he touched her shoulder, her eyes red, with dark shadows under them. She wiped her mouth and gave him a frown.

"What time is it?"

"Ten-fifteen," he said glancing at his watch.

She groaned and shot to her feet.

"I have to go," she said as she ran to the stairs.

So Jin's movements woke Andre. Andre gave a lazy yawn, nodded at him, and followed So Jin upstairs. Dan shook his head at the sleeping habits in this house before he returned to Jae.

"Hey," he said softly, stroking strands of hair out of Jae's face. "Wake up, Jae."

Jae moaned and turned to his right side.

"Dan," he mumbled.

He smiled at the sound of his name.

"Kim Jaehan, open your eyes. I've missed seeing them," he cajoled.

A sigh escaped his lips when Jae opened his eyes and blinked sleep away.

"You're back," Jae said in a low pleased voice.

He nodded and laughed when Jae tugged his arm and he toppled over him. He braced his elbows on the floor so that he could look into Jae's eyes.

"Everyone's in the house," he pointed out when Jae wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him closer for a kiss.

"So?" Jae asked sinking fingers into his hair. "I missed you so much. You were gone so long."

He kissed Jae, a sweet kiss that turned hungry and needy. He broke away when they were both panting hard.

"I missed you too even though I was only gone for four days."

"That's four days I had to wake up alone," Jae complained.

Dan chuckled. "Did you even sleep? Your hours have been odd lately."

Jae's hands moved over Dan's shoulders, smoothing his light blue shirt. Jae undid the knot in his royal blue tie and tugged it off. He smiled when Jae unbuttoned the first two buttons on his shirt and lifted his head to press a kiss on his collarbone. The soft touch of Jae's lips against his skin sent hot delicious thrills down his back, to his lower stomach and his hard cock.

"We finished writing the last song. The album is complete," Jae said, putting the tie around his neck. He folded his arms under his head and gave him a devilish grin. "I'm sure you were getting anxious. Rebellion has been quiet for a while."

Dan rained kisses on Jae's eyes, nose, and his forehead. This was the best news he'd heard all day.

"Congratulations," he said. "Good job, I'm happy, although I'm a little hurt you celebrated without me."

"What do you mean?"

Dan sat up and pointed to the mess of Soju bottles on the coffee table. Jae sat up and leaned his back against the couch. Pushing hair out of his face, Jae sighed.

"Oh, that wasn't a celebration. So Jin was dating another loser. We were helping her purge."

"Do you mean the professor?" Dan asked in surprise.

He'd thought that one was worth keeping for sure. So Jin had talked about him for the last month she'd been so excited. Not that Jae noticed when he was in the studio; he immersed himself in work; it was hard to get him to take care of himself.

Jae frowned. "Did I miss this whole relationship?"

Dan shrugged and laughed.

"As long as you helped her purge," he said with a grin.

Jae yawned and dug fingers through his hair. Unable to resist, Dan moved closer so that he could kiss Jae. Taking his lips, he sucked on Jae's lower one, his tongue then slipped into Jae's mouth for a short exploration. Jae moaned happily and dropped his arms around Dan's neck.

"Get a room," So Jin said as she came into the living room. "I can't remember where I left my purse."

Dan started to break the kiss but Jae held on to his shoulders prolonging it. He smiled when Jae let him go reluctantly.

"If you two are done, I need help finding my purse," So Jin said as she sifted through the bottles on the coffee table. She lifted her phone and sighed as she wiped crumbs of food from the screen. "My boss is going to kill me."

"Why didn't you set your alarm?" Dan asked as he got to his feet.

He held out a hand to Jae and tugged him to his feet.

Jae stretched his arms above his head and gave a dramatic yawn. Dan turned away from the sight because if he kept looking he was liable to give So Jin a show she wasn't ready to see.

She gave him a knowing glance as she stuck her phone in the pocket of her jeans.

"I wasn't exactly in a state of mind to remember an alarm for work."

Clearing his throat, Dan looked around the living room.

"Are you sure it's not in the kitchen?"

She hurried out of the living room and he turned to find Jae watching the television. He should have moved the remote. The story on Jaesun had continued. Dan sighed as a scene showing Jaesun working at an N-sang studio filled the screen. Moving closer to Jae, he paused in surprise when he saw Jae's face. He wore a pained expression on his face that made Dan feel like he was intruding, was that guilt? Or longing? He couldn't tell.

"Park Jaesun, now known as JP on stage, has worked hard to break away from the image he held before. He has shed the persona of being just a member of Black Shade. As JP, he is now a solo musician and he's working with top songwriters for his new album," the newscaster said.

The scene on the screen changed to show Jaesun laughing into the camera as the reporter asked, "Do you miss working with your old band members?"

"Not really," Jaesun said with a shrug. "I have more freedom with my voice now, so I can't say that I miss the restriction of listening to everyone's needs. I get to express music in my own way now."

"I heard you traveled to visit family last week? Who did you visit?"

"Someone who is like a mother to me," Jaesun said smiling into the camera. "She made me _gimchi_ to bring back to everyone here. I don't get to see her very much, and the last time we met, our visit was short and complicated. Last week I met her and we had a good visit; it reminded me how thankful I am that she treats me as a son. I'm happy to have this kind of a relationship with her."

Jae clenched his fists and Dan winced thinking that he knew whom Jaesun had visited. Jae hadn't gotten much of a chance to go visit Gae In. He sighed and made a note to make time for Jae's mother next week. They'd all drive down to Gong next weekend and visit her.

"Do you still talk to your old bandmates?" the reporter asked Jaesun.

Jaesun paused and glanced down at his hands. Dan narrowed his gaze as Jaesun answered the question.

"I've only met Kim Jaehan since then, and we were like two blind men facing each other. There have been many changes in my life since we last met. There have been a lot of struggles and triumphs, and we're probably different people now. He can't see my intentions, or my heart, and I seem not to know him as I used to before. That saddens me. I can only hope he'll see my side and know we're not enemies."

Jae threw the remote in the direction of the screen. When it missed, he cursed under his breath and started picking up the empty bottles as the story continued. Dan picked up the remote from the floor and muted the television, shaken by Jae's reaction.

"Jae," Dan said with a frown.

"Look at this mess. She drank the most and she's just going to leave without helping to clean up."

Jae picked up as many bottles as he could and left the living room.

Dan sighed and picked up the rest of the bottles. He followed Jae to the kitchen and found him making coffee. So Jin had found her purse and was checking her wallet. She got her car keys out and slid dark glasses on covering her bloodshot eyes.

"I'm leaving," So Jin said pausing to hug Jae. "Dan, I'm glad you're back. Take care of my brother."

" _Noona_ , don't call that jerk," Jae warned as he kissed her cheek.

She nodded and left the kitchen with a wave.

Left alone, Dan leaned on the counter and watched Jae busy himself at the kitchen sink.

"What?" Jae asked when he turned to place clean coffee mugs on the kitchen table.

"When did you meet Jaesun and why don't you ever talk about him?"

Jae turned away from him and went to check on the coffeemaker.

"Jae," Dan prompted him when he didn't answer.

"What do you want me to say? It doesn't matter when I met him."

"I wish you'd stop pretending he doesn't bother you."

"I'm not pretending." Jae braced his hands against the counter. "I prefer not to dwell on the past. He shouldn't either. I don't understand why he insists on dragging me into his interviews. Why don't we change the subject?"

Dan studied Jae for a moment. They'd been dating for three months now. He'd thought he knew every side there was to Kim Jaehan. However, that expression on Jae's face in the living room was new.

Swallowing down worry, he said, "Now that your album is ready, I'm going to make Rebellion active. I've been prepping a management team to handle your activities."

"Why do we need a new team?" Jae asked turning to face him. His brown eyes were stormy with the same emotion he'd seen in the living room. "We were just fine with you as our manager."

"Things have to change," Dan said quietly.

The marketing strategy he'd created for Rebellion needed a lot of lobbying and all his time. He wasn't happy about giving Rebellion a new manager but there was no choice.

"I don't do well with change," Jae complained. The coffee finished brewing and he took the coffeepot over to the kitchen table. "Maybe it's better if we wait for Jung and Andre. I don't want to hear this alone."

"Whatever you want," Dan said with a frown. "But you and I still have to find time to talk about Jaesun, Jae. I don't want any secrets between us."

Jae gave him a dismissive nod that stung deep inside him. It was obvious Jae didn't want to talk about Jaesun.

A coil of worry sprang in his chest and he moved to take a seat at the kitchen table. His heart was set on Kim Jaehan for life. They'd been living happily these last three months; he'd eagerly lulled himself into romantic oblivion. Waking up next to Jae, sharing everything from work, meals, their bed upstairs, he'd forgotten they were ever apart. He'd convinced himself Jae was his.

_But what if Jae's heart belonged elsewhere?_

He'd never paused to wonder about that, it's not as if Jae had ever said he loved him. His gaze fell on Jae who was busy rummaging in the fridge for breakfast. Dan frowned. He had no doubt he loved Jae, to the point that he didn't mind waiting until Jae loved him back. But until then...his gaze narrowed.

_Park Jaesun_ , he thought, a possessive surge sweeping through him _, please don't show your face to Kim Jaehan. I might be tempted to destroy you._

***

11. Just Another Boy

"You're getting us a new manager?" Junghee asked, staring at Dan with a skeptical glance. "Are you sure about this, Dan?"

"I don't think it's a good idea," Andre said shaking his head.

" _Hyung_ ," Andre looked at Jae. "What do you think?"

Jae brought the coffee pot and refilled Dan's cup and his. Junghee declined coffee and Andre was drinking green tea.

"I don't know what to say."

"You must have an opinion," Junghee persisted looking at Jae. "Leaning on the counter and removing yourself from the situation is not going to make this go away."

"What do you want from me?" Jae asked taking the coffee pot to the counter. He placed it on the warmer with a thud. "I wrote the music, we recorded it, now Dan wants to pass us off to some new manager. What can I say?"

"Jae," Dan said with a sigh. "It's not like that. I've already explained why I want to do this."

"Explain again," Jae said harshly, rounding on him.

His eyes hard with emotion, the man he'd seen in the living room was back. That angry Jae he didn't know. _Had he always been there?_

"We've managed quite fine with you. Why are you changing the rules on us?"

"I'm not changing the rules," Dan said, keeping his tone calm. "Rebellion needs me working as C.E.O. of Jade Entertainment. We need to win over distribution companies, and I can't do that working as your manager."

"We need you helping us face the public out there." Jae pointed out the window as though their fans were right outside. "We can't do it without you. I don't trust a new person to help us go through this."

"I'm not abandoning you." Dan sighed and shook his head. "I'll keep an eye on my replacement."

"You've already made up your mind," Jae said in shock. "You didn't come here to ask us, you came to tell us you're no longer our manager. Didn't you?"

Junghee turned to look at him. "Is that true, Dan?"

Dan lifted his hands hoping to calm them down. "We need to take a moment-"

"Tell him it's true," Jae said, his tone dripping with disappointment.

"Will you stop, Jae," Dan snapped at him. "I know this upsets you, but you need to listen carefully."

"I don't have to listen to anything." Jae picked up his coffee and gave him a mutinous gaze. "I won't accept whoever you bring. If you can't manage us, then no one will."

"Jae," Dan said standing to stop his boyfriend as he walked out of the kitchen.

Junghee grabbed his arm.

"Let him go," Junghee said quietly. "He doesn't like change."

"I know, but this is important. He needs to understand I'm not doing this because I want to."

Dan wiped a hand down his face and looked around the kitchen. He was so tired. His meeting in Japan had been more grueling than he'd thought it would be. The Rand Agency was still making things difficult for them. He couldn't imagine Rebellion releasing an album and being unable to tap into the Japanese market.

"Dan, have a seat," Andre said quietly. " _Hyung_ is just upset, it will pass."

Dan sat back down. Jae wasn't upset because of the change of managers.

No, Jae was upset because of what Jaesun had said during the interview they'd watched in the living room. He met Junghee's worried gaze.

"What really happened between Jae and Jaesun? Why doesn't he talk about it?"

"What do you mean?" Junghee asked.

"When we first met, that day I rescued Jae from his apartment. He met Jaesun," Dan said. "Why?"

"Ask him," Andre said quietly.

"I'm asking you two," Dan said studying them. "Jaesun has it out for him in the press and keeps dragging him in the mud. Jae doesn't talk about him or Black Shade ever, so I need you to tell me what happened between them."

"You know everything," Junghee said. "Black Shade crumbled before the world's eyes. You know that better than anyone else."

"I might know the legal issues you've had, and the stories the press and N-sang have peddled. What I need to know is how you two ended up with Jae, and Jaesun ended up alone with N-sang. If Jaesun and Jae had a relationship, why are they on opposite sides now?"

"Because Jaesun is an idiot," Andre said with a shrug. "He was afraid of losing everything. I don't blame him. For a while there, I thought I might quit the fight. But, in the end, what we chose was right."

"Jaesun blames Jae for the end of Black Shade." Junghee met his gaze. "I mean, really blames him, to the point of hate. They had a terrible argument the night before Jaesun decided to choose N-sang. Jaesun wanted Jae to drop the case but he wouldn't. After we left N-sang Entertainment, they tried to end their relationship but it was hard. Jae kept meeting Jaesun. Jaesun would come find Jae when he had a problem, which was all the time. I really hated it because Jaesun had this way of just piling guilt on Jae. As if, he was to blame for N-sang's actions. We tried to ignore it but it was difficult. When we were in Japan under the Rand Agency, Jaesun came to see Jae."

"That's before Rand suspended your activities," Dan said trying to understand.

"Right before it happened," Andre said with a nod. "They locked themselves up in Jae's bedroom for hours, and then when Jaesun left, Jae drank for two days straight. It was hard to get him on stage. He could barely sing."

"Soon after, Rand suspended us and we returned to Seoul. Jae packed up and left," Junghee said with a sigh. "It took me a month to find out that he'd gone home to Gong."

"What did they tell each other?" Dan persisted.

"I don't know, but it must have really hurt Jae because he lost all hope after that," Junghee said. "He made no effort to fight the suspension. I thought we were really beyond hope."

Dan nodded.

"Alright, Rebellion's new manager will meet you tomorrow morning. You guys can take today off. We'll meet here and head to Jade Entertainment tomorrow."

"That sounds good," Andre said. "What about _hyung_?"

"I'll talk to him," Dan promised.

Junghee stood.

"After I talk to him first," he said.

"Jung..." Dan started.

"I need to clear something with Jae," Junghee said with a hard tone. "Andre, don't drive off without me. I need you to drop me off at Red's Hair."

"Sure," Andre said watching him walk away. When Junghee disappeared at the end of the corridor, Andre turned to Dan. "Do we really have to have a new manager?"

"Yes, it will make things easier. He's a good friend, and he will treat you guys as I would," Dan said quietly. "My place is at Jade Entertainment fighting to get distribution avenues open for the band. I'd never make this decision without a plan."

Andre studied him for a moment, and then nodded.

"Fine, I trust your judgment. About Jae, he gets disturbed by Jaesun but it's because he cared too much." Andre looked away from him before he continued. "Jae never talked much about his relationship with Jaesun, but we could all see that they were close, too close. Jae turned into a different person with him. I'm glad they ended. The truth is, I love how Jae is with you and I don't want to ever see that end."

"Andre," Dan said in surprise.

Andre shrugged, pushed his chair back and stood up.

"Jaesun wasn't good for Jae. Jae lost too much of himself in that relationship. So, do what you can to keep Jaesun away from my _hyung_."

Dan watched Andre leave the kitchen and sat back in his chair. He was happy to know he wasn't the only one who didn't like Jaesun.

***

Jae had just finished showering when Junghee walked into his bathroom. Wiping down his body with his towel, Jae met Junghee's stormy gaze and sighed.

"What now?" he asked. He lazily wrapped the towel around his hips.

"You're acting up," Junghee said in a disappointed tone. "What you told Dan downstairs was childish."

"Childish or not, I don't want a new manager, Jung." Jae took another towel from the rack on the wall and used it to wipe off excess water from his hair. "We need someone who knows us. Someone who'll understand what we're facing."

"Do you think it's easy for Dan? Knowing how he feels about you, it can't be easy for him to hand us over to someone new this way," Junghee said, as he leaned on the counter. "He is not punishing us by giving us a new manager. He's just doing what's best for Rebellion. So, don't give him a hard time. As for Jaesun-"

"Don't bring Jaesun up," Jae said throwing the towel he had over his head into the laundry bin.

He was tired of hearing that guy's name. Why was everyone obsessed with Jaesun?

"I don't know what you've heard, but you only act like this when Jaesun is involved. You have Dan worried downstairs," Junghee snapped. "I know what Jaesun did to you, Jae. I remember how you were that last year before you ran off to Gong. I watched you spiral into a well of self-pity, you lost your confidence, and took on the guilt Jaesun unjustly piled on you. I'd hoped you'd let it go by now, but it seems you're still carrying it around."

Jae closed his eyes. "Jung, please stop."

"We're starting anew," Junghee continued as though he hadn't spoken. "Don't let that bastard interfere with us anymore. Please find a way to stand up to Jaesun. Haven't you had enough?"

Jae opened his eyes to find Junghee watching him keenly.

"I'm heading downtown to Red's," Junghee said, then ran his hand through his short dark hair. "I think I'm going back to my red hair. I'll see you tomorrow. Think about what I've said, and I hope you'll be in a better mood. We're meeting our new manager."

Junghee flashed him a small smile then left the bathroom. Jae watched him leave then turned to meet his own gaze in the mirror. He let a soft sigh escape, staring at the tall slender man looking back at him. He wanted to rail against Junghee's advice but he knew his best friend was right. Jaesun's darned interview had ruined his balance.

Brought the past too close, he thought.

His long hair was still wet. Grabbing the blow dryer, he turned it on and ran it over his hair using his fingers to separate the strands. His thoughts filled with Jaesun's words.

'We were like two blind men facing each other...we're probably different people now. He can't see my intentions, or my heart, and I seem not to know him as I used to before. That saddens me. I can only hope he'll see my side and know we're not enemies.'

Jae closed his eyes. He wished he could forget Jaesun's past intentions or what they'd done to each other at the end. He'd loved Jaesun and gotten nothing but pain and guilt in return. How could they ever be friends again?

The reasons why he'd ran away to Gong filled his head. On top of lawsuits and negative press, his personal life had deteriorated into one painful mass. He was the fool who'd tried to hang on to Jaesun despite their professional problems. He'd found himself unable to resist Jaesun, their desire turning into a black poison, each time they saw each other. Jae couldn't remember hurting more than during those months after he'd left N-sang Entertainment. He should never have tried to keep his relationship with Jaesun alive when they'd gone to Japan. He should have let it end the moment he'd walked away from N-sang.

Shutting off the blow dryer, he placed it on the counter and headed into his bedroom.

Junghee's reminder of his state of mind that last year in Japan hurt. He'd stood on stage happily, and cried himself to sleep alone in bed, missing and longing for Jaesun.

_Like an idiot_ , he thought as he walked into his closet.

He'd held on knowing that when they met, apart from physical gratification, only cold words remained between them. Cold words that had shredded his heart into little pieces every time he listened to Jaesun beg, cajole, order, and threaten him to end Rebellion and return Black Shade or to quit the stage altogether.

He dropped the towel that was around his hips to the floor and tugged on black briefs. Reaching for a pair of gray fitted slacks, he stepped into them and walked to a chest of drawers in the corner of the spacious walk-in closet in search of a belt. He pulled the top drawer out too far, and it came off its track and dumped its contents on the floor.

He choked on a soft gasp when he saw the pile of photographs he'd dropped around him. Sinking to his knees, he put the empty drawer down and stared at the mess of pictures. Pictures of his time with Jaesun, picking one up, he stared at himself and Jaesun hugging tight and smiling into the camera. Those days, at the Black Shade dorm, he and Jaesun were inseparable. He'd cherished those moments, believed they would only get better. Throwing the picture back on the floor, he got up, walked to a shoe rack on the right wall and found a white shoebox. Dumping the shoes that were inside on the floor, he walked back to the mess and started throwing pictures into the box. How had they ended up in here? He hadn't realized he had so many.

"Jae?" Dan called him in the bedroom.

"In here," he said tightly as he grabbed the last of the photographs and threw them in the box. Putting the lid over the box, he reached for the empty drawer.

"What happened?" Dan asked coming into the closet. "Did you fight with the drawer?"

Jae shrugged and started picking up important files and dumping them into the empty drawer. "I was looking for a belt. I tugged it out by mistake-"

"Jae," Dan said, crouching beside him. Dan took his hands, stopping him from haphazardly putting away the files. "You're ruining my good work."

Jae looked up to meet his gaze. "I'm sorry. I-,"

Dan kissed his jaw then sat on the floor. Jae watched him arrange the files neatly in the drawer. When Dan was done, his gaze fell on the white shoebox and Jae winced when he picked it up. Jae sat back on his haunches when Dan opened the box and saw the pictures.

"What do you want to do with them?"

Jae pushed his hair out of his face. "Burn them."

Dan looked up at to meet his gaze. "Why?"

Jae shrugged and stood up.

"They're not important to me." He picked up the drawer and returned it into its slot. "I don't know why they were in here."

"You had them at your apartment," Dan said quietly, looking through the pictures. "I found them among your important documents. I didn't want to throw them away."

"You should have." Jae closed the drawer and opened the second drawer.

He found his belts and took a black one out.

"I need you to tell me, Jae," Dan said staring at a picture of Jaesun carrying Jae on his back, their faces smiling happily.

Jae tugged it out of Dan's hand, and took the box. "What is there to say?"

He placed the box on a shoe rack and put on his belt. Reaching for a black v-neck shirt, he tugged it on with a sigh.

"Why are you so interested in my relationship with Jaesun?"

"Because it will come up in interviews and I need to know how you'll react," Dan explained, still sitting on the floor. "Are you going to throw the microphone at the reporters?"

"Why would you say such a thing?" Jae asked getting black socks. He sat down on a stool and tugged them on.

"You threw the remote at the television downstairs, Jae." Dan narrowed his gaze at him. "Why won't you tell me about him?'

"What do you want me to say?" Jae asked finishing with his socks. He met Dan's dark gaze and frowned. "What, Dan?"

"Anything," Dan said quietly, and then asked, "Were you in love with him?"

Jae's eyes darkened and his fists clenched.

"Is that what you want to know?" he asked softly.

Dan held his gaze and nodded.

Jae read love in Dan's dark-brown eyes. Love he didn't deserve because he wasn't sure he was capable of returning that kind of emotion. He felt affection for Dan, and he cherished what they had together, but love, the kind of love he'd given Jaesun without a second thought, he didn't have it in him anymore.

Jae dropped his gaze and felt a knife scrape over old wounds.

"Fine," he said. "If that's what you want to know then I'll tell you. I loved him. I loved him so much; I let him use me whenever he wanted. I was so in love with Jaesun that when we were apart, I thought I might die, and went searching for him over and over when we should have ended it. I even went so far as to introduce him to my mother and made her love him like a son. I gave him everything, so much so, that I don't know if I can ever love again."

His voice broke and he covered his face with his hands.

"In the end, Jaesun threw it back in my face like all I'd given him was nothing. Wasn't I a fool?"

"Jae," Dan said in whisper.

Jae shook his head and stood running a hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry. I should have been kinder with my answer. I'm not trying to hurt you, it's just-"

"Please stop." Dan said quietly, his voice raw with pain.

Jae nodded and looked away from Dan who still hadn't moved from the floor.

Swallowing hard, he said, "About the manager, I trust your judgment. I'm sorry for acting out earlier."

Dan nodded and when he didn't speak again, Jae left the walk-in closet, hurried out of the master bedroom and didn't stop until he was in the studio down in the basement. Slamming the door closed, he leaned on the wall and let out a heartbroken sigh. Closing his eyes, he allowed the pain he kept hidden to flood him, that punishing pain that reminded him he didn't deserve Dan's kindness.

****

Dan woke up late in the afternoon feeling refreshed. He'd needed rest after his talk with Jae. Too tired to go looking for his boyfriend, he'd simply gotten up and fallen face down on the bed. Staring at the clock on the bedside table, he got off the bed when he realized it was almost four o'clock. He took a quick shower and dressed in a light white shirt and jeans. Biting back a yawn, he left the master bedroom and headed downstairs.

Thinking about Jae's painful confession, he wondered if Jae was in the house. He couldn't forget his sad eyes and he'd wanted to find Jaesun right then to give him a piece of his mind. How was Jae ever going to trust in love now?

"You're awake," Jae said when he got to the living room.

He turned to find Jae standing by the stairs that led to the basement.

"Yeah, I was tired after the past four days," he said honestly.

"Do you have a minute?" Jae asked quietly.

He studied Jae's face, trying to find out what he was thinking. He couldn't see any trace of the pain he'd seen earlier. Instead, his beautiful lover stood tall, his slender body enticing in the fitted black v-neck shirt and gray slacks. Dan wanted to pull him into his arms and feel his warmth against him.

"Sure," he said matching Jae's tone.

"Please come to the studio with me," Jae said his eyes begging.

When they made it downstairs, Jae led the way into the live room and urged Dan to sit on an office chair. Dan smiled watching Jae, who picked up an acoustic guitar and settled on a stool.

"What do you want to show me?" Dan asked.

Jae tuned the guitar, sparing him a short glance.

"I wanted you to listen to the last song in the album."

"Last song?" he asked crossing his right leg over his left. "I thought I'd heard the whole album."

"I wrote one more when you were gone," Jae said quietly. "It's called _Stronger._ I don't know what we have, Dan. But whatever it is helped me write this song."

Jae closed his eyes and played the intro, his fingers deftly moving over the strings on the guitar, the music moving, it grabbed Dan's heart and wouldn't let go. When Jae's voice joined in, strong and soulful, Dan froze. Jae sang with all his heart, his emotions raw, and the lyrics settled deep in Dan's heart.

In the darkness/when my heart ached death was a relief/ drowning in the dark/tears filling my eyes/gave into fear/your hand reached and took mine/

Dan closed his eyes when Jae broke into the bridge, his voice raw.

Blinding light/soaring high/breathing love/your heart/Alive/Walking by your side/you cry/my heart cries/

Tears filled Dan's eyes as the pain Jae's confession had caused him earlier faded. Jae might not say the words, but this song more than answered any questions he had about what Jae felt for him. The chorus alone spoke of love, love Jae had for him, he thought awed by the depth of emotion packed in the music.

Saved me/gave me life/without you/I'm benign/Gave my heart/I live in you/when you smile/I believe/ I am alive/saved me/gave me life/Walk with me/I'm stronger now/ Pushed the dark, I'm alive/ I won't fall/

When the music ended, the silence in the live room filled the space. Unable to say anything, he met Jae's gaze.

"What do you think?" Jae asked when he didn't speak. "I mean, of course the song won't be acoustic. The final track is rock, the chorus screaming, with heavy rock drums in there. I can play it for you if you-"

Dan got off his chair, took the guitar from Jae, set it aside and pulled him into his arms. He held Jae tight; closing his eyes, he buried his face into Jae's shoulder when Jae wrapped his arms around his waist.

"I'm sorry," Jae said in a broken whisper.

"Stop apologizing to me," Dan ordered gently. He rubbed his hands over Jae's back and sighed. "I asked you to tell me the truth and you did."

"Dan," Jae said with a soft sigh.

"I love you," he said. "I don't care that you can't say it back to me yet. So, don't worry, okay?"

Jae tightened his arms around his waist and nodded. Dan lifted his head and leaned back slightly so that he could look into Jae's eyes. His fingers sunk into dark silky strands and Jae looked up. Those glittering light-brown orbs tore at his heart. He kissed Jae then, hoping that their heat and his love would heal Jae's broken heart.

***

The next morning Dan watched with a speculative gaze, as a black sedan drove into Jae's compound. He'd spent the better part of the last hour telling Junghee, Andre, and Jae about their new manager. He knew it wasn't easy to trust a new face in this industry, and with Rebellion's background, they found it hard to trust people in general. Dan watched the black car pull in next to his own town car. Glancing at the time, he smiled as Harry Yoon came out of the driver's side. It was exactly nine o'clock. Harry was punctual, that hadn't changed.

"C.E.O. Suk Dan," Harry said grinning at him. "Who would have ever imagined such a thing?"

Dan laughed and held out his hand to his longtime friend. He wasn't surprised when Harry ignored his hand and instead tugged him into a tight hug. He returned Harry's hug, stepped back and studied Harry's face.

"Time hasn't been your friend, Harry," he said in a teasing tone. "Look at you, are those gray hairs I see on your head?"

Harry patted his jaw. "You're one to talk. Your hair hasn't gotten any less shaggy. How do they let you in a boardroom?"

"With great care," Dan said. "It's good to see you, my friend. I didn't think you'd agree after our last phone call. How is your mother?"

"She's doing better." Harry let go of him and stepped back to look up at the brick house behind him. "She's actually the reason I decided to accept your offer. I'm moving back to Seoul permanently and I need a job. Is this really Kim Jaehan's house?"

Dan smiled and moved to stand beside Harry.

"Yes it is," he said with a sigh. "He's only been here for three months. No one knows the address. But, I'm sure that won't last long when the new album comes out."

Harry nodded, his gaze taking in the compound. "With all the rumors about Rebellion, you'd imagine the three of them are hiding away penniless."

Dan shrugged. "They know how to plan themselves. Harry, they've been through a lot and are still-"

"Yes, you've told me," Harry said cutting in. "I'm eager to meet this trio. They've completely turned you into a mother hen. You were never this involved with the talent."

Dan met Harry's muddy-brown eyes.

"They're not just talent to me, Harry. That's the first thing we have to get straight. Those three young men are like my children, my best friends, and my family. They come first at all times."

Harry studied him for a moment then smiled. "I figured. You called me with such worry I was afraid you were going to cry on the phone."

"I was not." Dan protested his cheeks flushing as he turned away from Harry. "I just-"

"Which one of them is it?" Harry asked studying him.

Dan shook his head. "Enough, you haven't even met them yet and you're speculating."

Harry smiled. "Fine, I'll guess by myself."

"Don't screw around," Dan said. "Those three, they're stubborn and more tenacious than you, Harry. They've been up and dropped down so hard it almost broke them. They're not kids, or spoiled. Now that you know that, are you taking the job?"

"Yes, I'll be Rebellion's manager," Harry said, "if only to meet the people who've changed you this much."

"Good." Dan indicated the front door. "Shall we? Junghee, Andre, and Jae are downstairs. They're polishing their last song on the new album. We have a lot to get through to get them back on the market."

"Is it true they can't promote?" Harry asked as they entered the house.

"We have a lot of roadblocks to face," Dan said with a tight smile. "I've been working these past three months trying to find a way around the roadblocks. Jade Entertainment will act as the band's record label and management agency. I've found two distribution companies willing to work with us as long as we handle all marketing and promotional activities. It's an unfair deal. But the only one we can make considering the situation. No one is willing to risk working with a band that can't promote itself in the normal channels. So, you and Rebellion have a lot of work ahead of you."

"The marketing financial burden falls on Jade Entertainment," Harry said with a frown. "What if they don't sell?"

"We have to sell," Dan said as he led the way to the basement.

He stopped at the top of the stairs.

"We can't afford to fail, Harry, for their sake and the company's. I'm staking everything I have, so we have to go aboveboard."

Harry studied him with a frown. "How much of your money is in this?"

Dan scowled. "Two minutes with you and we're already discussing my money. You really haven't changed."

Harry poked him on his arm with his index finger.

"You haven't changed either. When you get involved, you really do jump in with both feet. Do they know?"

"No, and it stays that way. Jaehan tends to lose his concentration when problems arise and we can't afford that. I need him focused on the band, and the music."

Harry sighed and Dan continued to the studio.

"Why do you always get me into troublesome situations?" Harry asked following him.

Dan chuckled as they walked along a short hallway in the basement to a pair of green double doors. He pushed one open and urged Harry into the studio first. He smiled when Harry stopped short just as _Stronger_ filled the speakers. Jae sat in a leather chair swinging back and forth, as he listened to their finished song. Junghee lay on the couch tossing a ball on the opposite wall, and Andre was pacing the length of the room.

_Stronger_ was the album's title song. The melody gliding out in fast repetitive riffs, complex and holding the power of rock itself, it left him breathless. The mood still full metal, images of black leather jackets filled his mind and the beat had him banging his head. Jae's voice was sexy; his strong smoky vocals send a thrill racing down Dan's back. It sounded so different with more instruments and added a professional polish with a screaming chorus backed by Junghee and Andre's vocals. The song was stunning, and Rebellion's fans would fall in love with it. But his favorite version would always be the one Jae had played for him yesterday.

He met Jae's gaze.

_This song_ , Jae had written this song for him. Knowing that changed so much, he at least knew he wasn't just another lover in Jae's life.

"They're amazing," Harry murmured beside him. "Jaehan's vocals have matured, unlike the days he sang for Black Shade. He sounds grown up, strong, and I love that edgy tone."

"They've gone through a lot of training these past three years. They really bloomed on the world stage, but now they'll be at home." Dan smiled when Jae winked at him. "I can't wait to see them on a stage in Seoul."

"I can see," Harry said giving him a knowing glance. "What is the name of this new album?"

"Breaking Free, this song, _Stronger_ , is the album's title song," Dan answered.

Junghee had said that it was time Rebellion took a stand and broke away from their past. Now that they were back at home, the album was a celebration of all they had endured. He fully agreed and hoped that they could manage to make that image clear to Rebellion's fans.

"It should be fun to promote this. No hint of the past, not even the world tour era, we're just going to concentrate on the album and the band having fun," Dan said.

"Good plan," Harry said.

Dan nodded as the song ended and Jae turned to look at Junghee and Andre. Jae smiled when Junghee gave him a thumbs-up and Andre clapped.

"That's a wrap," Andre said happily, putting the song on repeat, he sat in the seat next to Jae and lowered the volume. "Now the fun part, time to tour and meet our fans."

Jae picked up the music sheets scattered around him.

"Fun part for you, Andre, not me," Jae said.

Andre tugged Jae's ponytail and grinned. "You have fun with it too."

"Guys," Dan interrupted when Jae laughed. "Your new manager is here."

Jae swiveled his seat around to look at Harry with a blank expression. Dan hid a smile as he urged Harry closer.

Junghee got to his feet and Andre stood.

"Harry, meet Kang Junghee and Song Andre."

They both bowed, "Nice to meet you, _hyung-nim_." (Very respected older brother)

Harry smiled, happy with their welcome. He turned to Jae and Dan could see Junghee and Andre both hold their breath. Jae stood up and bowed to Harry.

"I'm happy to meet you, _hyung-nim_. I'm Kim Jaehan."

Dan grinned when Junghee and Andre both let out relieved sighs.

****

12. To Love Someone is the Same as To Protect Them

"We have tour dates without venues," Harry said holding out the list of venues they'd planned to use for Rebellion's national tour. "Most of them have canceled our reservation. I'm starting to think someone is interfering."

Dan took the list with a sigh. Someone _was_ interfering.

"We're left with five venues; most of them are school gymnasiums, fields and halls."

"What do you want to do? That's a very small tour compared to the twenty stops we'd planned." Harry sank into the silver couch by the windows in Dan's office. "I want to scream at these faceless people for doing this. We're paying for space."

"Don't worry about it," Dan said with a shake of his head. "The venues you chose have scheduled shows with mainstream artists. Don't push. Work with the venues you have, and increase the number of shows. If it was two days, make them three day shows until they're twenty."

Harry ran fingers through his graying hair and sighed. "Was it like this out there?"

"No." Dan shook his head. "But then, no one cared who Rebellion was out there. Here, they want to prove Rebellion doesn't have a following."

"Well, then we just have to prove them wrong," Harry said. "The album's pre-order sales are through the roof. We might have to increase the amount of physical albums."

Dan calculated the costs in his head and decided it was better to work with their current projected sales. "First, let's work with the number we've planned. We'll add as we go."

"Alright," Harry said standing up. "Want to come upstairs?"

"What's upstairs?"

Harry grinned.

"They found a drummer. Jae insisted they get started on rehearsals, so they're in the practice hall on the sixth floor. The hairs on the back of my neck rise with excitement every time I listen to them."

Dan smiled and glanced at the time. It was already six in the evening, he had a mountain of paperwork to get through, but it could keep. He missed seeing Jae. They hadn't had enough time alone these past three weeks since Rebellion started preparing for their album's release. The band kept odd hours working with Jade Entertainment's marketing and PR teams, diligently creating Rebellion's promotional material.

He spent his days navigating the bureaucracies, juggling expenses, and haggling with skittish distribution executives. Rebellion's new album was a tough sell because Rebellion's promotion avenues currently included magazines and newspapers, no radio or television time. They were lucky that there was an online culture.

Dan pushed his chair back and stretched his arms above his head. Tugging off his tie, he walked around his desk following Harry to the door.

"How's Jae doing?" he asked as they walked to the elevators.

"He's hard to read," Harry said when they were inside the elevator heading to the sixth floor. "He works without complaint, very focused on the task at hand. He listens to suggestion, takes it if it suits the group. Work wise, we're very in tune, but he won't trust me with his personal life."

Dan frowned. "Why do you say that?"

"As you know, Jaesun is dropping an album two days before Rebellion, so the press is having a field day. For the first time in years, both sides have albums on the market. We might not acknowledge the competition, but you know it's real. As a result, Jaesun keeps mentioning the members of Rebellion in his interviews. The latest one was hearsay, something about Jae assaulting Jaesun. Jae shrugged it off as rumors when I asked him. Since they haven't met-"

"Did you say assault?" Dan asked with a frown as alarms went off in his head. "Is there an official claim?"

"No. Jaesun hasn't made a statement but the press is pushing."

The elevator doors opened and they almost ran into Len.

Harry steadied the younger man with a frown. "What's going on, Len? Why are you on this floor, and not at your studio?"

Len smiled. "Hello, Mr. Suk." When Dan nodded in response, Len turned to Harry. " _Hyung-nim,_ why didn't you tell me Rebellion was rehearsing? My manager just told me."

Len followed them as they continued to the double doors that opened into the large practicing room he'd set aside for Rebellion.

His gaze immediately searched and found Jae. His boyfriend was hooking up an electric guitar to an amp. When he finished, he tuned the guitar and played a few notes. Junghee was arguing about timing with their new drummer, a woman in her early thirties. Andre sat on the floor watching Jae.

"Are you sure about finishing the last set with _Stronger_?" Andre asked. "I mean _Crucial Mass_ has more power. The heavy riffs, merciless drums, it would make a grand finale. We want to leave the stage shaking."

" _Stronger_ packs a powerful punch," Jae said holding out the guitar to Andre.

"Yeah, I know you're biased toward _Stronger_ , but _Crucial Mass_ makes a better grand finale," Andre insisted as he got to his feet.

He struck a few teasing chords as Junghee finished with the drummer.

Harry moved to announce their presence, but Dan stopped him and pressed a finger to his mouth. Len folded his arms against his chest, vibrating with anticipation.

"Junghee, settle this," Jae said, pushing the long sleeves of his white cotton t-shirt to his elbows.

He bent to move the guitar chords so that he wouldn't trip and Dan bit back an appreciative moan. Jae's black jeans hugged his tight butt to perfection, he looked so sexy and intimate thanks to his bare feet.

The new Rebellion stylist had cut Jae's hair. She'd cut it short on the sides and the back. Leaving the top long, and dyed a rich brown that brought out Jae's eyes. He smiled when Jae caught up the soft long strands and tied them in a top knot with a rubber band.

"Come on, Junghee," Jae insisted when Junghee picked up his own guitar. "Don't you think _Stronger_ should finish the last set?"

"Andre is right," Junghee said, "but let's play _Critical Mass_. You can decide when you hear it."

Jae nodded and turned to the microphone stand. The drummer rapped her sticks, starting the beat. Junghee and Andre played the intro, joined by the drummer soon after.

Jae closed his eyes and his voice filled the room, a smoky baritone that reminded Dan of nights spent between black silk sheets and burning kisses. The feel of Jae's heated skin rubbing against his, slender fingers digging into his back, legs locked around his hips, Jae's passionate moans, head arched back in the throes of passion. His cock buried deep, heat searing through his brain, as they drove each other into mindless ecstasy. He shifted where he stood when Jae grabbed a third guitar and joined Andre and Junghee. Their music was intense, driving, and moody; it had Len banging his head as he stood beside Harry, the trio of guitars driving the song into an intense climax when Jae's voice joined in again. Dan could see Andre's reasoning for wanting to make this song the finale. It would have their fans on their feet jumping and wanting more.

" _Critical Mass_ is the last song," Junghee said when they finished.

Jae laughed.

"I agree, that just means _Stronger_ comes in second last."

"That was incredible," Len rushed forward, "insanely awesome, I have to come to your concert."

Jae grinned when he saw Len. "Of course you have to come."

"When is your first performance?" Len asked, moving to stand next to Junghee who was tuning his guitar.

"In a few days," Andre said.

Dan smiled when Jae met his gaze. He watched Jae jump over a bunch of cables toward them.

"Hey," Jae said coming to stand in front of him.

"Good practice?" Harry asked.

"Yeah," Jae said, although he didn't look at Harry. "We're ready for the tour."

"Great, get some rest. Tomorrow the band has back-to-back appointments with journalists and an official album release interview."

Jae nodded without comment and Harry went to talk to Junghee and Andre.

"Miss me?" Dan asked Jae.

Jae nodded.

He lowered his gaze to Jae's lips. Taking Jae's right hand, Dan dragged him out of the rehearsal room. He led the way down the hall to a small room used as a temporary office. Locking the door, Dan pulled Jae into his arms, crushed his mouth to Jae's in a feverish, greedy kiss. He dragged Jae's shirt off as a strangled moan escaped Jae's lips. He captured them in another delicious kiss, his tongue exploring Jae's mouth, savoring his taste. He cupped Jae's ass, tugging him closer, but it wasn't enough, it was never enough.

Jae's fingers worked on his shirt, opening the buttons, and he moaned when Jae ran fingers over his chest. Heat followed Jae's caresses, his fingers tightened on Jae's ass when Jae tugged his nipples.

Dan unfastened Jae's pants, then shoved them and Jae's underwear down together, freeing Jae's cock. It was hard, and sprang up against Jae's stomach. He rubbed his thumb over the slit, spreading pre-cum over the sensitive head, making Jae moan.

They stumbled to a table set against the wall, kissing hungrily. Jae kicked off his trousers and Dan helped him up on to the table. He stroked Jae's cock, taking Jae's moans into his mouth in deep kisses that had Jae clinging to his open shirt. He kept stroking Jae's cock until he came in passionate moans inside his mouth.

****

Jae closed his eyes, his body tingling, sharp little jabs of ecstasy running through him. The pad of Dan's thumb swept over the tip of his cock and he moaned, wanting more. Dan broke their kiss, his hot lips trailing along Jae's naked shoulder to his chest. Jae's fingers sunk into Dan's hair.

"More," he begged needing to feel Dan inside him. "Please."

"I don't have protection," Dan said kissing him hungrily. "We'll just have to-"

"I trust you." Jae dropped his hands to Dan's trousers. "Please, Dan, don't make me beg again."

"Are you sure?" Dan asked lifting his head to meet Jae's gaze.

"I'm sure," Jae said kissing him.

Dan dropped his trousers, revealing his heavy swollen cock. Dan cupped his hips and pulled him to the edge of the table, Jae braced his feet on the table, keeping his legs open. He held Dan's gaze as Dan coated his cock with Jae's release. He watched Dan slip a finger into him, biting his lip with a soft moan at the feel of Dan inside him. When Dan slipped another finger in, his eyes slid closed.

"Don't tease me," Jae begged when Dan withdrew his fingers.

Dan grinned and moved closer, pressing the tip of his cock into Jae.

He trembled on the fine edge between pleasure and pain when Dan fully entered him. The feel of Dan's cock inside him, hot naked skin against his, dragging through his tight hole was exquisite. Jae reached for Dan's shoulders holding him close, his legs wrapping around Dan's waist. Dan thrust into him, slow, deep thrusts, so deep. A needy moan escaped him, his brow coated with sweat, his fingers dug into Dan's shoulders as pleasure tipped the scale. Delightful, electric thrills burst inside him when Dan increased his pace. Their lips met in a wanton kiss, their passion raw, wild, and desperate. He forgot where they were, losing himself in the raging passion Dan ignited inside him.

He cried out when Dan came inside him, the feel of Dan's hot cum coating his walls sent him over the edge. Dan held himself inside him as they kissed, lying back on the table. Jae sighed when Dan held him close.

"I'm crazy for you," Jae whispered into Dan's shoulder when they'd both caught their breath and Dan slipped out of him.

Dan shivered when Jae licked a bead of sweat from his neck.

"I don't want to move," Dan said his hands sliding over Jae's naked hips as he straightened up, bringing Jae to sit up with him. "I wish we could stay right here."

"That's kinky but I think I'll get splinters on my ass," Jae teased with a laugh. He leaned back to look into Dan's eyes.

"You're not smiling. What's wrong?" Jae asked.

"You're leaving on tour next week. It won't be so easy for me to see you."

"You can always meet us, it's not like we're leaving the country," Jae soothed.

"I know," Dan said. He rubbed a finger over Jae's smooth jaw, and shrugged. "Still, I prefer it when you're close to me."

Jae grinned. "You'll finally have time to yourself. Do you know we haven't had time apart in four years?"

"You ignored me for most of those years," Dan pointed out. "It's amazing that we've known each other four years and only dated for four months. I'm not ready to have you so far away just yet."

Jae brushed fingers through Dan's hair.

"I'm just glad you were there with me through that mess abroad," Jae said quietly.

"Glad you noticed," Dan said playfully biting the soft skin on Jae's bare shoulder. He chuckled when Jae's stomach rumbled. "And now, I have to feed you."

Jae laughed. Dan smiled, loving the sound of Jae's laugh. He kissed Jae once more before he moved away. Grabbing Jae's t-shirt from the floor, he held it out to him.

"I'll take you out," he said when Jae took the t-shirt.

"I'm craving noodles," Jae said jumping off the table. He picked up his jeans and pulled them on. "Think we can go to a store around here and get some?"

"Do you want to torture your bodyguard?"

"Bodyguard?" Jae asked with a frown as he buttoned his jeans. "When did I get one of those?"

"Today," Dan said tucking in his shirt, before he zipped up and buttoned his slacks. He ran fingers through his hair, hoping to make it neat.

"Come on, Dan," Jae started to complain.

"You don't get a say in the matter," Dan said giving up on his hair. "Besides, he'll police you for me. You're keeping things from me, Jae."

Jae chuckled. "How could I when we practically live in the same house?"

Dan studied him for a moment. "When did you meet Jaesun?"

"What?"

"What?" Dan mimicked. "Don't play that game with me. The alleged assault on Jaesun the press is peddling, when did it happen?"

Jae sighed and looked away. "It's alleged."

"I know you better than that, Jae." Dan moved closer to study him. "Tell me the truth."

"The truth," Jae scoffed.

"Yes, Jae, the truth," Dan said.

Jae rubbed his eyes. "Fine, I might have tapped him softly with my fist that first week when we got back to Seoul."

"Tapped him softly," Dan said, then bit back a laugh. "What is that code for? Did you punch him?"

Jae shrugged.

"Why?" Dan asked at a loss. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because," Jae looked away running fingers through his hair. "He pissed me off."

"What does that mean? You don't punch everyone who pisses you off," Dan said in irritation. "Was he alone? Who else was there, Jae?"

"I don't know, my mother? I was at home and he was intruding. He can't claim assault, Dan."

"I don't care what Jaesun can claim," Dan said. "I care about you, and your family. Jaesun might not make an assault charge stick but he can cause trouble for you and Rebellion. I need to know the whole story."

Jae wiped a hand down his face. "I don't want to spoil a good day talking about that guy. I really don't."

"Harry is fielding requests for a statement. Jaesun's side hasn't made one yet, but you know what happens if they do. He must have told someone about this; we need to take steps to protect you."

"Don't you get tired of always trying to save me?" Jae demanded. "Sorting out my problems and figuring out how to deflect bad press. Aren't you tired of it yet?"

"Yes," Dan said making Jae look up in surprise. "Are you shocked?"

Jae blinked and turned away from him. "No. It was bound to happen."

Dan watched him head to the door. "Jae-"

"We should go now," Jae said as he pulled the door open. "I'm hungry and tired, tomorrow is a busy day. Why don't we talk about this some other time?"

Dan watched him leave with a sigh.

*****

Jae walked back to the rehearsal room. He was disappointed when he found that Junghee and Andre had left. Getting his phone from a table laden with tools and guitar strings, he checked the messages. He sighed when he found one from Junghee. They'd decided to go watch a soccer game at Andre's house.

"Let's go get you food," Dan said from the door.

Jae slid his phone into his pocket and found his sandals. Grabbing a leather jacket he'd left on the floor, he pulled it on and followed Dan out of the rehearsal room.

"You really won't talk to me?" Dan asked when they took the elevator in silence. The doors opened in the basement and Jae got out without talking. "Jae, come on."

A tall burly man joined them and Jae slowed down staring at him with suspicion.

"This is Ken," Dan said, touching Jae's shoulder to reassure him. "He'll watch out for you. Ken this is Kim Jaehan. Please look after him."

Ken nodded to Jae. "Where are we headed, Mr. Kim?"

"To get noodles," Jae answered with a small grin. "Do you know a good place?"

Ten minutes later, they sat in a crowded roadside tent, turned into a makeshift restaurant, bottles of Soju on the table along with bowls of spicy ramen. Jae picked up his bowl, finishing the last of his soup. The food was very good; his new bodyguard had good taste. Putting the empty bowl on the table, he let out a satisfied sigh and burped. It reminded him of his days struggling to make ends meet. They seemed a lifetime away, but this tent, he'd had many dinners in places like this. Jae scowled when Dan tugged his cap lower over his face.

"Stop that," he said and tossed back his glass of Soju with a harsh sigh. "Mmm....this isn't as good as that day in your apartment. Should I drink more?"

"No." Dan took the Soju bottle and handed it to the woman serving them.

"Mr. Ken," Jae said turning to his new bodyguard. "This guy doesn't like it when I drink. Are you going to stop me when we're on the road?"

"I'll make sure you're safe, sir," Ken said politely.

Jae chuckled. "No one calls me sir."

"They should, sir," Ken said.

Jae studied the stoic man seated beside him and sighed.

"I can see you're going to follow all of Dan's instructions. Did Dan tell you to watch me like a hawk, maybe guard whom I talk to, and everything I do? Now that he's tired of doing that job-"

"Ken," Dan interrupted him. "Would you give us a moment alone?"

Ken got up and moved away.

"Stop ordering my bodyguard," Jae said leaning his elbows on the table.

Dan studied him. "Tell me what happened with Jaesun."

Jae shrugged. "I already told you. He pissed me off."

"I need more than that, Jae."

Jae grumbled looking to the busy street a few feet away.

"He found my mum and me making _gimchi_ at home and he wanted to join us. I couldn't handle it, so I walked off. He followed me, said stuff about my mum I didn't like, so I punched him."

"That's why you came back so early," Dan said with a frown. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"What is there to say? My mother thinks I should forgive Jaesun. She thinks I'm going to die full of regret if I don't." Jae wiped a hand down his face. "It scares me when she says things like that. She knows me too well."

Dan sat back in his seat. "She scares you because she's right."

Jae avoided meeting Dan's gaze. "I'm never going to forgive him, Dan. I can't do it."

"Excuse me," a hesitant female voice interrupted and Jae looked up to find two high school students standing a few feet away. He sighed when they squealed, and then whipped out their phones and he groaned.

"Jaehan- _oppa_ ," they both said excitedly. "It's you! Please, can we get an autograph?"

Dan stood just as they shoved notebooks under Jae's nose. Jae took one of the pens they held out and quickly scribbled his name. Ken had his hand on his left arm, and they got curious glances from the other customers.

Jae pressed a finger to his lips urging the girls to hold their excitement. They smiled wide, snapped more photos of him before Ken dragged him out of the tent. They walked briskly for the next two blocks. Jae loved the evening air.

"We should get you home," Ken suggested.

"No." Jae shook his head unwilling to give up the night. He turned to Dan and smiled. "Please Dan, after tomorrow there won't be time for this. Can we just walk?"

"Are you sure?" Dan asked worried.

"We have Ken," Jae cajoled. "Please Dan?"

***

Dan agreed because he couldn't say no to Jae when those brown eyes begged him. Besides, it was fun exploring the streets with Jae.

"Look, fish sticks," Jae said pointing to a vendor across the street. "Let's go."

"You've already eaten noodles, dumplings, and fried chicken." Dan frowned. "Now fish sticks?"

"I used to eat them for dinner when I was training." Jae took his hand and dragged him across the busy street. Jae reached into his pocket and pulled out money for the vendor. "It's been so long! Ken, you want some?"

"I'm fine, sir."

Jae held out a stick to Dan. "You know you want to."

"I'm concerned for that pit you call a stomach." Dan took the fish stick as they continued down the street. "Happy?"

Jae grinned.

"Better than most," he answered.

"Looking forward to your tour?"

Jae swallowed the food in his mouth hard. "I'm excited but sad that you won't be there."

"Same here," Dan said quietly. He threw the stick in the trash and turned to Jae. "Don't give Harry a hard time. Concentrate on the music, and not the news, I'll handle it all."

"Even though you're tired of fixing things for me," Jae asked quietly.

"I won't stop."

Jae threw his empty sticks into the trashcan too, "Promise?"

"I promise," Dan said truthfully.

Jae nodded and held out his hand. "Want to get ice cream?"

Dan laughed. "You're an endless pit."

****

Thursday afternoon Dan watched with trepidation as Jae, Junghee, and Andre bowed before a crowd of reporters and straightened up with slight smiles as cameras flashed wildly. Harry stood at a podium off to the side. Harry waited for the guys to sit on the chairs set out beside Dan, microphones arranged on the table for them.

"Thank you for coming to our press conference this afternoon," Harry said. "We're going to start with an official statement from Jade Entertainment's C.E.O. And then the members of Rebellion will answer any questions you might have afterward. Please welcome C.E.O. Suk Dan."

Dan, who sat beside Junghee, moved the microphone stand on the table closer and greeted the room.

"We've called you here this afternoon to announce the release of Rebellion's second album, which will be on the fifth of August. That is next Monday. The album title is _Breaking Free,_ released under the JE Record Label. Our company, acting as a managerial agency, will handle Rebellion's following national tour. The ticketing information and tour dates are available on our website as well as the Rebellion website. Please look forward to their new album and thank you for your continued support."

"Mr. Suk, has Rebellion signed an exclusive contract with Jade Entertainment? If that's so, why did they leave N-sang Entertainment and the Rand Agency if they were going to turn around and sign another exclusive contract?"

Dan held his cool.

"Rebellion has not signed any exclusive contract with Jade Entertainment. Jade Entertainment is acting as the band's record label and managing their promotional activities as needed. We are simply promoting their album and helping them to plan their tour in the coming months."

Harry stopped the next volley of questions by interrupting the reporters.

"And now, Rebellion will read a short statement," Harry said.

Dan clenched his hands under the table to fight off his nerves. He was more nervous than Jae looked. It was hard to keep his gaze away from Jae as he shifted his chair closer to the table.

"I'm Rebellion's Kim Jaehan," Jae started in a cool tone. "I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Mr. Suk for his belief in our band and his continuous dedication to get us where we are today. Without him, we wouldn't be here."

Dan swallowed hard as the three young men who'd become his family turned to him and bowed in respect. He smiled wide and gave Jae a small nod.

"Today," Jae continued. "We sit here both excited and nervous to announce the release of a second album named B _reaking Free_. This album is a labor of love for our fans. They have stood beside us through thick and thin. Without them, we'd not be here. To show how thankful we are for your support, we've worked day and night to release this album."

"Who composed the music?"

Jae turned to Junghee who answered, "We all composed the music but the lyrics were written by Jaehan- _hyung_."

"Rebellion has chosen to pursue the rock genre. Does this have something to do with JP's popularity on the pop charts?"

"The decision to record rock music was a professional decision," Andre answered quietly. "Rock music best displays our strengths as artists, and we're happy doing the best we can on stage for our fans."

"Since the dispute between Rebellion and the Rand Agency is not over, are you going to release your album in Japan?"

"We have many obstacles ahead and we hope to face them with all the strength we can muster," Jae answered with confidence. "For now, we're going to do the best we can for our fans."

"Your first album, _Rough Terrain_ had a successful run worldwide, but did poorly in the local market. _Rough Terrain_ did not make it on any music chart within the country. Are you prepared in case you have the same poor reception with your new album?"

Dan clenched his jaw in anger. That question was unwarranted, clearly meant to unsettle the band members. Everyone in the room was well aware of the reasons why _Rough Terrain_ had not shown up on local music charts. Jae answered the question with a disarming smile.

" _Rough Terrain_ was a success in all the ways that count. We had the privilege of standing before thousands of fans who sang with us as we played those songs. That in itself was an achievement and we're grateful for it. Thanks go out to our fans. They supported us when we were in a different country and in a tough situation. As we drop this second album, I look forward to getting on stage, and listening to our fans singing with us once again."

Dan fought the urge to clap with pride. Meeting Harry's gaze, he nodded urging Harry to end the press conference.

"Rebellion will have a showcase at Su-Am Center on Friday night. The tickets are available through Rebellion's official website, and at the Jade Entertainment online store. Thank you to the members of the press for coming to this short conference, until next time."

The room exploded with questions as the band stood to leave the conference room. Jae, Junghee, and Andre bowed and turned to the exit.

"Is it true that Park Jaesun visits your family, Kim Jaehan?" someone shouted. "Have you warned him to leave your parents alone?"

"Did you two have a close relationship? Are you hiding it now?"

"Do your parents treat Park Jaesun as one of their children?"

"Is it true that Kim Jaehan assaulted Park Jaesun for interfering with his family?"

Jae froze turning to the reporters. Junghee and Dan both grabbed his arms and led him out of the conference room as reporters followed behind them.

"It has been reported that Park Jaesun has tried to reconcile with you, are you stopping the rest of Rebellion's members from talking to him?"

"Don't react," Dan said to Jae as they reached the exit. "Keep your cool, we're almost there."

"Why have you refused to release a statement regarding the assault on Park Jaesun?"

Dan was glad when security managed to push the reporters back and they could escape to his office.

Junghee and Andre both sighed in relief, but Jae went straight for the silver couch and dropped face down on it.

"That last part was brutal," Junghee said with a sigh. "Shouldn't we make a statement and refute this?"

"We can't," Dan said with a sigh. "The allegations are true; Jae punched Jaesun that first week after we arrived back in Seoul."

"What?" Junghee turned to look at Jae. "You're kidding me."

"Nope," Jae said his voice muffled into the couch cushions. "If I deny the accusation, Jaesun's people will spin this into a circus."

Junghee turned to Dan in question. "What do we do? Our tour starts next week. I know negative press is good too, but not right now, Dan. We need very positive press. Positive-"

"Stop panicking," Andre touched Junghee's shoulder. "I think Dan already has a solution. Don't you?"

Dan sat behind his desk, his gaze on Jae. "You have to meet him, Jae."

"What?" the three of them asked at the same time.

"Meet Jaesun and convince him not to pursue this, Jae," Dan said.

Jae lifted his head to meet his gaze and Dan sighed when he read worry in his brown eyes.

***

This wasn't how he'd wanted to visit his parents. Jae sat in the passenger seat in his black Jeep staring at his parents' house. He'd missed seeing his family, and those days he'd spent here before Junghee found him.

_That simple life with no worries_ , he thought.

"Ready?" Dan asked turning off the engine. "Your mum is going to be happy to see you."

Jae dropped his gaze to his lap. "Too bad I'm not eager to see her guest."

Dan dropped a hand on his knee. "This is the right thing to do."

"There's nothing right about this. I'm only doing this for Rebellion," Jae said quietly.

"I know," Dan said.

Gae In suddenly appeared at Dan's open window. "What do you know, Manager Suk?"

Dan smiled. "Mrs. Kim."

She smiled and looked at Jae, "if it isn't my handsome son, Jae."

Jae got out of the car and hurried around to Dan's side to hug her. He lifted her and twirled her around.

"Our Jae," Gae In said happily, when he put her down and she kissed his cheek. "Oh my, look how slender you are, you're losing weight."

Dan got out of the car. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Kim. I'll take better care of him."

Gae In let go of Jae and turned to Dan. "It's good to see you too, Manager Suk. You look tired and hungry, come inside."

Dan nodded and opened the back passenger door to get the shopping they'd done earlier for Gae In.

"Jae," Gae In said as they walked toward the front door. "You've stayed away so long. Your sister told me how hard you worked in the studio. I wish you'd visit me more."

Jae squeezed her fingers affectionately. "I'm sorry, mum. I'll double my calls from now on."

"What about visiting?" she asked.

Jae winced. "Next week I'll be on tour."

"Will it be within the country?" Gae In asked with a frown.

Jae glanced at Dan before he answered. "For the most part, we'll see how it goes."

Gae In kissed his knuckles. "Don't overwork yourself, Jae. Your father and I are proud of you. I can always visit you."

Gae In led them to the kitchen. "Your father went on a business trip with his colleagues. Your sisters visit tomorrow with their families. Are you staying?"

Jae watched Dan place the shopping bags he carried on the kitchen table. "I'm sorry; we have to get back to the city tonight."

"Well," Gae In said with a slight frown that showed her disappointment. "Alright, I'm happy you came today. I get you to myself then."

Jae hugged her and pressed a kiss on her smooth cheek. "I miss your _gimchi._ Are you s _t_ ill growing cabbage?"

"Of course," Gae In said with a smile. "They're almost finished though. We won't get another harvest until late October. Manager Suk, will you help me with the groceries?"

Jae slid onto a stool watching Gae In and Dan put away the shopping. His mother regaled them with stories of the neighbors for the next hour. She fed them mixed rice and fresh fruits urging them to eat until they couldn't anymore.

"Manager Suk-," Gae In said as she poured tea for Dan.

"Please, call me Dan," Dan said with a small smile.

"Can I?" Gae In said returning his smile. "I should since I can see you and my son are very close. You have to call me Mum."

Dan nodded and accepted her tea. "Thank you, Mum."

Gae In settled in her seat. "I want to thank you, Dan. I'm sure our Jae causes you a lot of trouble."

Jae scowled. "No I don't."

"Just by that, I'm sure there is trouble," Gae In said with a laugh turning to Dan.

Dan sipped his tea meeting Jae's gaze. "I can handle his kind of trouble, although sometimes he worries me when he hides the truth from me."

Jae made a face at him and turned to find his mother studying him. Her gaze narrowed and he feared she saw more than he dared say. Picking up his tea, he took a healthy sip and avoided Dan's gaze.

"Why did you ask me to call Jaesun?" Gae In asked then.

Jae shrugged. "You wanted me to forgive him."

"But why meet here?" Gae In asked. "You're both in the city. Why not meet at your house or his?"

"That's my fault," Dan said. "This is best for the band and Jae."

Jae stood then. "I'll go check on the cabbage patch."

Taking his cup to the sink, Jae escaped through the kitchen door and into the backyard. He was glad to see nothing much had changed. The platform under the tree beckoned and he went to it, dropping onto it with the ease of greeting a long lost friend. Removing his shoes and socks, he folded up the legs of his jeans and lay back on the platform to enjoy the sun.

***

Jaesun stood over Jae's dozing figure and a pang of jealousy swept through him. Jae looked relaxed, healthy, and carefree. He'd never admit it but he envied Jae. His handsome, almost beautiful face and that perfect presence that demanded attention no matter what Jae did. Music, photo spreads, interviews, Jae's ratings remained higher than his. A fact that had his management team at N-sang caught in a frenzy of competition.

He settled on the platform and took in Jae. He'd missed sex with Jae. They'd always been best in the bedroom. He dreamt of Jae's hot talented mouth more nights than he cared to count. His gaze drifted over Jae's red t-shirt, the fabric clinging to lean muscles. His fingers itched to scale Jae's flat stomach, slide them to the black leather belt holding up the white ripped jeans.

Jae shifted slightly and he hoped Jae hadn't caught him looking, as he met sleepy brown eyes. Jae blinked, wiped a hand down his face and sat up.

"You came," Jae said clearing his throat.

"Your mother left me a message," Jaesun said quietly.

Jae nodded and shifted again putting more space between them.

Jae bit back a yawn. "I'm sure you can guess why I called you."

He'd watched Rebellion's interview yesterday. "Do you want to apologize for hitting me?"

"No." Jae shook his head, brown hair sweeping into his eyes. Jae pushed it back with impatience. "I want you to stop dragging me into your interviews."

"I can't," Jaesun said.

"Why can't you do it?" Jae demanded directing angry brown eyes at him.

"It's not my call," Jaesun said quietly.

Jae narrowed his gaze at him. "You want to tell me you're a puppet? Do you have to do what your management team tells you? What happened to holding your ground?"

"You made that difficult for me," Jaesun said quietly. "You're not the only one facing problems, Jaehan."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Do you know how hard it is to see you, Jung, and Andre smiling?" Jaesun asked looking away. "Yesterday, at your press conference, I felt left out."

"Don't start that again," Jae said. "I can't take responsibility for your loneliness anymore, Jaesun. You made that choice."

"You forced me into that choice when you wouldn't listen to me."

Jaesun felt old bitterness rise. He couldn't help it. Without Rebellion, Black Shade would still exist; he knew it because Jae would have fought to keep the band alive. He resented Jae for not wanting to work things out with N-sang, if he had, they'd all be together now, working to preserve their legacy.

"I can't let you forget me, Jae."

"Haven't you punished me enough? How many years will you hold this against me?" Jae asked quietly. "We even left so you could do what you want with N-sang. Can't you let it go now?"

Jaesun studied Jae for a moment. He watched the wind ruffle Jae's hair, wisps of hair falling over Jae's smooth forehead. He wanted to reach out and trace the curve of Jae's eyebrows. He'd spent hours lying next to Jae, watching him sleep.

"Business aside," Jaesun said, his tone softening. "Do you miss me?"

Jae dropped his gaze to his lap. "I'm in love with someone, Jaesun."

"You're in love?" Jaesun narrowed his gaze hating the idea of someone else having what he'd had. He couldn't imagine Jae hugging someone else, loving someone else, "Who?"

"Doesn't matter," Jae said. "Hating you, blaming you, it's too tiring, Jaesun. I want to forget what we did to each other."

Jaesun looked away. "You loved me."

"You used my love," Jae replied.

"I loved you in my own way," Jaesun said bitterly.

Jae shook his head. "Don't do this, Jaesun. I'm not that person, anymore."

"Jae-,"

"Stop," Jae snapped.

Jaesun blinked at the cold shiver that swept through him when he met Jae's brown eyes.

"I've had it with you always blaming me, making me carry the burden of our past. I've made peace with my choice, and so should you. If you're having trouble at N-sang Entertainment, deal with it, you're the one who chose to stay. Stop using other people to sort your issues. I'm warning you, the next time you mention Rebellion in an interview, I'll let them know the nature of our relationship down to the last detail."

"You wouldn't," Jaesun said in shock. He preferred to keep his preferences to himself, "Jae that would ruin you too."

Jae chuckled. "I don't know what you mean by that, Jaesun. I've seen bad days these past few years. Days I was beyond ruin while you lived a good life. I've sat right here and contemplated living as a married man, growing vegetables and raising kids. Giving up the stage, my music and who I really am," Jae shook his head and smiled. "I guess you wouldn't know about that kind of feeling, Jaesun. So, yeah, letting people know who I really am is not something I'm afraid of, Jaesun. I'm quite comfortable in my own skin."

"So you called me here to give me a warning?" Jaesun shook his head. "Is this blackmail, Jae?"

Jae shrugged. "I'm telling you to find a way to deal with your marketing campaigns that don't include Rebellion. If you want to compete and find out which one of us wins more fans or public sympathies, why don't you compete in the old-fashioned way? Do your best, Jaesun."

Jaesun got off the platform. "That's so like you, acting like you're so high and mighty."

"Accuse me however you like, just know what happens if the circus continues, Jaesun."

Jae leaned back on the platform, resting his elbows on the soft wood. Jaesun watched him take a deep breath, his stance relaxed; he was no longer the suffering man he'd known four years ago. It scared him a bit. This Jae was stronger, happier.

"You're an asshole," Jaesun said, suddenly angry that Jae seemed to have pushed him aside. He'd hoped that Jae still felt something for him, but this, he shook his head. Loneliness swept through him and he turned away from Jae and headed to the front of the house.

"Right back at you, Jaesun," Jae called after him.

****

Dan watched Jae talking with Jaesun from the kitchen door. His arms crossed against his chest, a frown on his forehead and he wondered what they talked about sitting so close.

"He's handsome, our Jae," Gae In said coming to stand beside him. "Isn't he?"

"He really is," Dan agreed. His frown deepened because Jaesun was sitting too close to Jae.

"He's also been lonely," Gae In said speculatively. "The last time he was here, he and Jaesun had a hard time. Jae cared a lot for him."

Dan dragged his gaze away from Jae to turn to Gae In. "Jaesun wasn't good to Jae."

"So Jun told me," Gae In said quietly. "Jae hides a lot from me when it comes to his close relationships. I sometimes wish I could force him to tell me everything he's feeling so I can help him."

Dan smiled, happy to know he wasn't the only who felt like shaking Jae into submission. "Was he always like this?"

"'In a way," Gae In said with a fond smile. "Once he puts a thought in his head, it's hard to get him to change his mind. When he was sixteen and decided to go to Seoul, it was hard for me, but I couldn't change his mind."

Dan nodded in understanding and watched Jaesun walk away in a huff. Jae lay back on the platform, his stance relaxed. Dan found himself hoping that Jae hadn't escalated the situation.

"As hard as him leaving was, when he came back after Rebellion couldn't perform, that was the hardest time for Jae. Watching him dig out that patch where we now plant cabbages and listening to him talk about staying here for life broke my heart. I was happy to see him every day, but I was sad too that I couldn't make him happy."

"Now he is with me," Dan said.

"Yes, he is," Gae In said looking at him and just meeting her gaze made him realize that she knew he and Jae were a couple. "Don't hurt him like Jaesun."

"Mum," Dan started.

"Love him better than I ever will," she continued quietly. "I've always felt inadequate as his mother. Not being able to support him the way I support his sisters with their husbands and boyfriends. No matter how accepting I am, his father and most of his older sisters don't know about him, and I'm unable to change that for him."

Dan kissed her cheek. "You love him just fine. I never had a mother like you. Jae is lucky to have you."

She patted his cheek and nodded to her son. "Go on then, find out what they told each other. Bring him in later for coffee and dessert."

Dan waited until she went into the house before he went to join Jae.

"Everything okay?" he asked sitting beside Jae.

Jae nodded, "Just fine. Jaesun won't bother us."

"What did you tell him?"

"Told him it was time to let it go," Jae said. "If he doesn't stop I'll deal with it."

The look in Jae's eyes spoke more than his words so he refrained from asking what Jae had told Jaesun.

"I like your garden," Dan said nodding to the cabbage patch. "Your mother told me you dug it out. Imagine my shock."

Jae grinned and shifted so that he lay with his head on Dan's lap. "I like when she makes me _gimchi_. I figured fresh cabbages from her garden would taste even better. Can we stay out here for a while?"

Dan looked up at the tree providing shade in the cool August afternoon. Stroking his fingers through Jae's hair, he settled on the platform and nodded.

"Sure," he said. "We can drive to Seoul later-"

He broke off when he looked at Jae and found him asleep.

***

**13. The One I Trust Most**

After rehearsal at the Su-Am Center, the Rebellion dressing room hummed with tension. Jae sat sprawled on the couch they had provided, Junghee was leaning against the wall toying with his guitar pick, and Andre was pacing the length of the room. Their make-up artist had come and gone; they were dressed for their performance.

"What if no one comes?" Andre asked, stopping in the middle of the room. "I'm pretty sure no one bought the tickets. Not to mention Jaesun is having his showcase tonight too. Gods, I'm going to have a heart attack."

"Relax, Andre," Jae said lazily. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. "It's going to be fine. Harry promised the tickets were sold out."

"Are you sure he didn't buy them all?" Junghee asked with a soft scoff. "He's worked hard to make sure we didn't know that some venues refused our bookings. We are down to open-air concerts. What if it rains, or snows, surely-"

"Enough!" Jae said getting up to look at Junghee. "I don't think worrying is helping any of us right now."

"Jae," Andre said moving to touch his left arm. "Are you sure Jaesun will leave us alone now? Who knows what he'll say during his press conference later."

Jae nodded grimly. "I'm sure we'll not feature in his conference today."

"I really hope so," Junghee said shaking his head. "We need to catch a break."

There was a knock on the door and then Dan walked in all smiles.

"How is it going? Are you in panic mode yet?"

"Jung and Andre are going insane," Jae said glancing at his best friends. "Andre is going to wear out a hole in the floor, and Jung is about to break his favorite guitar pick. Tell them there is nothing to worry about."

Dan stood staring at Jae in surprise. "Look at you! You are usually the worst."

Andre chuckled and Junghee hid a smile.

Jae shrugged and dropped onto the couch again. "I'm quite fine, thank you. This is a small stage, nothing compared to Sunday night when our tour starts."

"Well, I'm glad you're taking this so well. I came here to tell you it is almost time for the concert. I wanted to walk you to the stage one last time." Dan grinned. "I'm going to miss that too."

Jae stood up and hugged him tight. "Dan, thank you."

Andre joined them and Junghee came to wrap his arms around all of them.

"We couldn't have done it without you," Junghee said, messing up Dan's hair. "You're the reason we'll be standing on a stage in Seoul. Thank you."

"You're one in a million," Andre said quietly.

"Stop it, or I'm going to cry," Dan said, his voice hoarse. "Remember what I told you; concentrate on the music, and the stage, okay? Harry and I will handle the rest."

They all nodded and when Harry came to get them, they'd at least gotten back to normal.

As they walked through a wide corridor flanked by security, Jae tugged the black v-neck t-shirt he wore and adjusted the belt on his matching fitted black pants.

"Stop fidgeting," Dan said beside him. "You're on camera."

Jae dropped his hands to his sides and tried to stop the nerves wracking through him. The closer they got to the stage, the louder the chants came. The sound engineer met them right before the entrance, checking their microphones. Jae took in a deep breath, his heart beating hard in his chest. He took a step away from Junghee and Andre and turned away from the stage entrance.

"Jae?"

Dan touched his arm.

"Just a second," Jae said letting out air.

He bent over, trying to control his heartbeat; he took in another deep breath and closed his eyes.

"I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack."

"We have five minutes," Harry warned behind him.

Dan wrapped an arm around Jae's shoulders and led him to a corner behind a huge column. They had a modicum of privacy, though curious eyes still watched them.

Dan moved to block everyone's view of Jae.

"Look at me, babe."

Jae pressed a hand into his chest and met his gaze. "I was fine in the dressing room. What's happening?"

"Take in a deep breath and let it out slowly," Dan said quietly. He cupped Jae's cheek and smiled. "You're panicking and in such a place where I can't do anything for you."

Jae let out a strained laugh.

"Pervert," he teased Dan.

Jae looked into Dan's calm gaze as he let out a soft breath.

"This is huge, isn't it?" Dan asked.

Jae nodded.

He had dreamed of singing in Seoul since the day he'd left, from the moment N-sang Entertainment had suspended their activities.

Almost seven years since he'd stood on a stage in Seoul, he thought. What if their fans hated them, he wondered. He was a different person from the one who had sung in Black Shade.

"Stop thinking so hard."

Dan's soft order made him glance up in surprise. How did the man always know what he was thinking?

"You've come a long way, and you're going to be fine. You, Jung, and Andre deserve this. Show them why they've waited so long for you."

Jae nodded and closed his eyes reaching for control.

"It's going to be fine."

"That's right," Dan said gently and leaned to kiss his forehead not caring what everyone would say. "I love you, Jae."

The simple kiss went a long way in calming him. Opening his eyes, he smiled at Dan and pulled him into a hug.

With a wicked smile, he whispered into Dan's ear, words he'd never said before.

"I love you too, Suk Dan."

He let go of Dan and hurried to Harry who was pointing at his watch frantically. Jung reached for his hand as he hurried up the steps leading to the stage entrance. He grinned as he joined his bandmates and turned to see Dan still standing by the column staring at him. He waved just as Harry patted his shoulder to lead the way on to the stage.

***

_Jae had said he loved him._

Dan smiled wide as he watched Jae sing and felt a wave of love swell inside him. He had waited so long for those words, and now that he'd heard them, he just wanted to keep watching Jae.

The audience was wild with excitement, probably from not seeing Rebellion on stage in so long, or from Jae's mesmerizing voice, accompanied by Jung and Andre, or maybe just from the sight of the handsome trio.

They looked good under the stage lights, larger than life, all traces of panic gone as they played their music for the audience, stirring them up into frenzy. Five thousand people stood waving their hands, jumping to the music, singing along to songs they had released two days ago.

"Hello Seoul!" Jae shouted after the first three songs ended.

The audience screamed louder, the sound thundering. Dan couldn't help laughing at their enthusiasm.

"Ah, we've missed you so much," Jae, said. "We've hoped to hear you scream like that for so long. Thanks to a lot of hard work, we've finally managed to meet you, and even I want to scream in excitement. Should I?"

A loud resounding 'yes' filled the theatre and Jae chuckled. He brought the microphone to his lips and gave a loud thrilling roar that had their audience echoing it right back to him.

"Your excitement humbles me," Jae said when the audience had calmed down. "I'm happy to know that you've waited for us, as much as we've waited to stand before you. So, for the rest of this concert, scream and jump as much as possible, have fun, and let's celebrate this moment together."

"Mr. Suk?"

Dan turned to find a tall man in a dark suit standing a few feet away. The next song started on stage and Jae's voice filled the theatre. Dan took a step back to give his attention to the man who looked so out of place.

"How may I help you?" he asked the stranger.

"I'm from the FTC," the man said producing an identification card, which he handed to Dan. "I'd love a few moments of your time."

Dan glanced back at Jae, who was waving his left hand with the crowd as he sang. Dan urged the man to follow him back to a quieter area near the dressing rooms.

"What is an FTC official doing here?" he asked, frowning as he met the other man's gaze.

"My name is Yun Tae Ho. I'm actually here to be of assistance."

"Assistance," Dan repeated in confusion.

He hated being at a disadvantage; he had no idea why the Fair Trade Commission would come looking for him. Jade Entertainment carried fair contracts with all its artists and actors, and as far as Rebellion was concerned, they practically owned the company.

"We've been investigating insistent claims by Rebellion fans that there are those interfering with the band's activities, preventing Rebellion from carrying out regular activities, or promoting within the country."

"Rebellion fans," Dan said in surprise. "What do you mean 'claims'?"

"For the last two years, we've received several petitions, each holding almost a million signatures at our offices. We ignored it at first, but the petitions came month after month until we decided to make inquiries. We couldn't do much with the band abroad. Now that they're back, it's easier. We've followed the process of the band's album release closely. Yesterday, we finally got proof of interference. The cancellations you received at the venue in Daegu and the one in Seoul are no coincidence. The venue manager in Daegu won't give names but he does agree that he was asked to book another show in Rebellion's time slot."

"You're chasing ghosts, Mr. Yun," Dan said. "No one will point a finger in this situation. This is a political battle."

"I'm well aware of that, Mr. Suk. We need tangible evidence because everything we have is speculation. Working with your company and the band might help a lot."

Dan frowned. "How do I know that if we get in the middle of this, you won't end up on the other side? This won't be the first time someone has offered help. We've learned to be cautious."

"I'm not easily intimidated, Mr. Suk. Besides, Rebellion is not the first band to go through something like this. Most musicians who go against major record companies in this country end up unknown. Rebellion happens to be lucky in that they've managed to make a comeback."

"It wasn't easy. Besides, the success of this album is still far off." Dan glanced in the direction of the stage. "We released the album two days ago. Now, it's a matter of watching sales and promoting as much as we can. I've spent the last three months looking for the different ways to distribute this album. We're practically selling the albums ourselves."

"Meaning you've tried to promote using the usual channels and failed," Yun Tae Ho observed.

"I didn't try," Dan said with a shrug. "Rebellion's first album was removed from the charts, why bother fighting a frustrating battle. Instead, I decided to create new avenues of distribution, creating shops on the company's website, the band's website, and working with international platforms like iTunes. We have two distribution companies working with us locally, but they are small. Their costs are high, but if we succeed, we'll make a stunning profit. Now, if the band can just manage to tour without interference..."

"What you've done is eliminated any chance of rejection, Mr. Suk. You've turned Rebellion into an independent band."

"They are an independent band," Dan insisted. "Far removed from the usual boy bands out there, Rebellion is setting its own path. Since we're not interfering with anybody's business, I'd love it very much if they'd stop interfering with ours."

Yun Tae Ho held out his hand. "I can help you with that. Why don't we set up new venues and see how it goes from there?"

Dan studied him for a moment, before he took Yun Tae Ho's hand. "Don't disappoint me, Mr. Yun. I don't take it very well."

"I've heard," Yun Tae Ho said with a laugh. "I heard the reason you're helping Rebellion is because you had a disagreement with N-Sang's C.E.O. You've managed to throw him a powerful punch."

Dan smiled. "He stole my clients and claimed I was gambling with the mob to destroy my reputation. I don't like people who fight dirty, so like you, I had to make a stand."

"I wish I had someone like you fighting for me some fifteen years ago," Yun Tae Ho said with a sigh. "Perhaps my music career would have gone somewhere."

"You used to sing?" Dan asked in surprise.

"Briefly, until I had a problem with my company's management and decided to pursue a different side of the music industry. We definitely need more companies like Jade Entertainment instead of N-Sang. Most of the top entertainment companies are swindling young artists, offering to train them for a small fee, spending money on them to create an image which puts them in debt before they debut, and then when they finally get to work, all the profits are spent by the company, which leaves the musician with peanuts."

"Sounds familiar," Dan said thinking of Jae and Black shade.

"Yesterday, I met a group of eight girls who are performing every second of their lives. They get ten minutes off in their day, and spend the nights training, which means one hour of sleep or less. After the company takes away their expenses, their profits become less than they'd make working at a fast food place. Does that make sense?"

"Don't look down on them. They're just starting out, and it takes time to get popular. If they work hard, they'll have an easier time if the company is good. We started out that way," Jae said behind Yun Tae Ho.

Dan looked up to see Jae standing a few feet away wiping his face with a towel. He was all sweaty from singing and jumping on stage. Dan wondered what Tae Ho would say if he pulled Jae into his arms right now for a kiss.

"Who is this?" Jae asked coming to stand beside him.

"Mr. Yun, meet Kim Jaehan," Dan said sliding an arm around Jae's waist.

His fingers moved under the sweaty t-shirt to touch Jae's slick skin. He smiled when Jae leaned against him.

"Nice to meet you," Yun Tae Ho said bowing his head slightly to Jae. "I'm not looking down on those girls, just worried for them."

Dan got a business card from his pocket and held it out to Yun Tae Ho. "This is my number. Call me tomorrow morning."

"Thank you, Mr. Suk." Yun Tae Ho smiled and bowed again. "I'll leave you now."

Jae scoffed after Yun Tae Ho left. "Who does he think he is?"

"An officer at the FTC," Dan said. "Don't scowl after him that way. He's on your side."

Jae scoffed. "Did you hear him talk about those poor girls?"

"He's just worried they'll end up exploited like you were, Jae, probably worse." Dan sighed and touched Jae's jaw. "Relax. Is the showcase over?"

"Yeah," Jae grinned. "It was exhilarating. I can't wait to go on tour."

"Where are Jung and Andre?"

"I left them up there talking to fans."

Dan nodded. He met brown eyes and smiled.

"You said you love me."

"Mmm-hmm," Jae said.

"Say it again."

"Is that an order?" Jae asked as Dan pressed him against the wall.

Dan took the towel Jae was using and wiped away sweat from Jae's forehead.

"A plea," Dan said.

Jae held his gaze and Dan watched those eyes turn serious.

"I really love you, Dan."

Dan smiled. "I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing you say that, never, Jae."

"Are you going to kiss me?" Jae asked.

"Here?" Dan looked down the hall. It was deserted but not for long.

"Who cares?" Jae asked challenging him.

Dan leaned in to kiss him, and he closed his eyes when Jae held him close.

****

"Sir." Mrs. Kang, Dan's secretary, walked into his office on a Monday afternoon three months later.

She had a magazine in her hands that she handed to him.

"First copy goes to you. Congratulations, Rebellion is a success."

"Thanks," he said as she left his office.

Getting up from his desk, he walked to the gray couch in the corner of his office and sank down with a tired sigh. Putting his feet up on the coffee table, he studied the magazine cover. The title read: _The Rebellion Magazine._ Jae, Junghee, and Andre graced the cover dressed in pajamas, sprawled on the floor in Jae's living room. Jae was reading a magazine, his hair held up in a short top knot, Andre held a video game console, and Jung was reading a book. He smiled and touched Jae's face on the cover.

Turning the magazine, his smile widened when he found a full-page picture of Jae. Jae looked out of this world, his brown eyes captivating, and his brown hair in a Mohawk. He sat on a guitar case with his elbows resting on his knees as he stared into the camera. Dan felt pride at the sight of Jae this way. They'd come a long way, and the confidence in Jae humbled him.

Turning the page, he found a picture of Junghee and then Andre. The magazine was Harry's idea. They'd gotten a photojournalist to follow the band on their tour. Pictures of the band members sleeping in the bus, stopping at various rest stops, and carrying equipment into venues filled the first half of the magazine. Dan grinned when he found a picture where Junghee and Andre had painted Jae's face with markers while he slept. There was another one with Junghee wearing noodles in his red hair. He laughed when he saw a picture of Andre wearing smudged lipstick and eye shadow spread liberally under his eyes while he slept. Gods, he'd forgotten how the band got on road trips. He missed their goofiness.

Turning the page, he sighed when he found a picture of Jae wearing a simple white t-shirt and jeans, seated on a couch in the back of the bus. Jae held a guitar, and a pen between his lips, obviously in the middle of writing music.

Dan read the article that came along with the picture. Photojournalist Ming Suni had written one for each of the members of Rebellion:

Kim Jaehan is Rebellion's lead singer and a man with many hidden talents. He is the oldest in the band, but one would never guess it watching him with his bandmates. Soft spoken and easy going in private, one would never imagine he could bring a stadium of fans to their feet with just one word or imagine his stunning voice as he sings _Critical Mass_ _,_ the band's new smashing anthem. I cornered him during a quiet moment before the band went for rehearsal and asked him a few questions.

Ming Suni _: First, let me congratulate you and your bandmates for winning top place on the charts. Your new album sold over three hundred thousand copies in the first week, and has continued to top the charts. Three months later, and Stronger is still charting at number one. Were you expecting such a response to your new album?_

Jaehan: No, I'm stunned, humbled, thankful, there are no words to express how I feel. _Breaking Free_ has topped our expectations. Our fans have topped our expectations. I sometimes think saying just thank you is inadequate. Don't you think so? Such simple words, yet it's all I can say. I can only say thank you to all of you who support our music and us.

Ming Suni: _Considering your past, and the tough situations you and your bandmates have lived through, do you think those experiences made you work harder to get back on top? How did you manage to hold onto each other as a band?_

Jaehan: Rebellion is family to me. Andre and Junghee are my brothers. They are like my right and left arm. I'm nothing without them. What we've achieved, we've done it together; I can't separate them from my life. I think this bond is what has brought us to where we are now. I also can't forget Suk Dan who picked us up when we were at our lowest and gave us the strength to face an uncertain future.

Ming Suni _: When you met Mr. Suk, there were rumors that he was working with questionable executives and that he was misleading artists in their careers. Can you tell us what made you decide to work with him despite the rumors?_

Jaehan: _(Answers with a short laugh)_ truthfully, it was hard to trust him at the start. Not because of his past, but because we'd met so many people who wanted to help us, but in the end would just lead us astray.

Ming Suni: _Do you mean people like the Rand Agency?_

Jaehan: Yes and many others who'd gone as far as extorting money, I was wary of yet another individual promising to get us out of trouble and back on stage. At our first meeting, I thought Mr. Suk was a shabby, unkempt man as he sat across from us, saying he could help. I can't say I was particularly cordial. I gave him a hard time, and we had a rocky start. He worked hard, and sacrificed a lot of his time despite our cold reception. Mr. Suk is the kind of person who has forked over his own money to allow us to sell our album. We've only come to know all this later, of course. He is the kind of man who sorts out problems even before we know they exist. Through all that turmoil, Mr. Suk has become the person I trust the most with my life.

Min Suni: _How is it working with Jade Entertainment?_

Jaehan: Like working with family. The band is able to make decisions; and having a manager and a boss who understands those decisions makes it easy to grow creatively. This tour has been a success. The staff at Jade Entertainment has given their all, making sure our fans have a wonderful concert experience, and that the band is meeting schedules. Of course, there are squabbles when something goes wrong, but which family doesn't have them. It just means we're happy working together.

Ming Suni _: So, we've asked your bandmates to describe you and here's what they said: Kang Junghee says, "You're a perfectionist when it comes to work, and the most empathic, because you worry about everyone's problems, also you act cute when you're drunk." Song Andre says, "He is a man who'll say not to call him_ hyung _when he feels he's failed us, but in that statement, he is just showing us how much he cares about us. Because of that, we can't ever stop calling him_ hyung _. He's hard working, so much so, that you can't drag him from the studio when he's working, but he loves drinking and hugging everyone when there's no work._

_(_ At this point Kim Jaehan covers his face with a silent laugh _.)_

Ming Suni _: Why are you laughing?_

Jaehan: I'm a bit embarrassed they're calling me out on my drinking.

Ming Suni _: Hearing your bandmates talk about you with such affection, how would you describe Kim Jaehan?_

Jaehan: He's a lucky person, to have such precious people surrounding him, but he needs to learn how to let go more easily. As Junghee says, I sometimes worry about other people's problems, excessively to the point of blaming myself. I've recently made an effort on letting go and found happiness as a result.

Ming Suni _: What's next for Rebellion after the tour?_

Jaehan: More studio time, we're always writing music. Of course, we'll work at finding ways to connect with our fans. We have limitations on our domestic activities. We've realized that the best way to connect with our fans is to create events that will give us opportunities to meet them often.

Ming Suni: _Does it bother you that Rebellion can't promote on television and radio shows in South Korea?_

Jaehan: When we first started this tour, it did, very much. We'd worked so hard to get _Breaking Free_ out, and we were looking forward to selling it to our fans. Only to find we couldn't promote like everyone else who had their music out there. It was discouraging, but our manager, Harry Yoon, and Dan have worked hard to make sure that we reach our fans. We've managed to sell more than we expected. Being out here gives us a better chance of connecting with our fans, and we've decided not to worry about things we can't change easily anymore.

Ming Suni: _You've recently won the title_ Sexiest Musician _in Asia in a poll held by one of our magazines. What do you say to that?_

Jaehan: ( _turns shy and laughs)_ suddenly, it has become a source of stress. I can only say thank you again, and hope not to disappoint everyone as the years come and go.

After the interview, Jaehan invites me to eat noodles from a stall he discovered the night before when we arrived in Daegu. He's dressed in simple jeans, a t-shirt, and a heavy sweater, with a dark cap covering his hair. He puts me at ease as we walk, telling me anecdotes of the different towns he's visited. Strangers pass us thinking he's just another man walking on the street.

A closer look reveals that he isn't. He is Kim Jaehan, a successful singer, composer and lyricist, churning out record-breaking songs for the band Rebellion with stunning prowess. His bandmates describe him as hard working, empathic, a great drinking friend known to act cute, and a man who everyone wants to call _hyung_. He's a man of many facets and at first glance can leave you breathless with his stunning face. A few minutes in his company quickly reveal he deserves the accolades he gets from industry critics, and that Rebellion is in his blood for life.

Dan smiled at that last statement and turned to read Junghee's article. His phone buzzed on the table and he answered it with an irritated frown, hating the interruption.

"Mr. Suk."

He removed his feet from the coffee table at the sound of Yun Tae Ho's voice. They had been working together for the last three months trying to get evidence of interference by the N-Sang Entertainment. Booking venues, having the managers cancel their bookings, and claiming there was a mistake when they asked questions.

"I have good news for you," Tae Ho said. "We just got concrete proof that came from an executive leaving N-Sang Entertainment after a disagreement. He handed us incriminating documents, hard copies of notices sent to various distribution companies and broadcasting stations."

Dan's hold on the magazine tightened and he stood in shock.

"What are you telling me, Tae Ho?"

"That the FTC will issue a sanction against N-Sang for interfering with Rebellion's broadcasting rights and promotions. Our aim is to get their actions into the light, and get them to stop interfering with the band. From there, we'll see what happens. In reality, it might not change anything with the broadcasting companies who've refused to receive Rebellion. They won't want to look weak."

Dan felt relief flood him hard. "That's okay, I'd be happy with them leaving us alone. It would be great to schedule a show for Rebellion and not worry someone will interfere. Thank you so much, Tae Ho."

"I'm sure Rebellion is eager to hear this news," Yun Tae Ho said. "I know you're aware N-sang Entertainment won't take our decision lightly. We've a lot more work ahead of us."

"Quite sure, but we're not afraid of work," Dan said glancing at the magazine he held. "Thanks for letting me know."

"Anytime," Yun Tae Ho said. "My office releases a statement this afternoon. I'm sure you and the boys will make yours tomorrow. I'll call you later."

"Thanks."

Dan ended the call and stood in his office staring at the magazine he held. This wasn't news he wanted to tell Jae, Andre, and Junghee over the phone. They'd faced all their achievements and failures together.

Walking to his desk, he got his wallet and grabbed his jacket. Rebellion was driving into Busan tonight. He'd meet them there.

****

Jae stood on the edge of the stage in the Busan Asiad Stadium, tugging his jacket closed, and looking at the vast number of seats in the stadium. Each one would have a fan sitting in it tomorrow evening. He let out a soft sigh and tested the floor of the stage; it was steady and firm, with no shaky boards, and he smiled. Just like this tour. Standing right here, he could look into the future and see it clearly. If they kept working hard, and steadily, things would be okay.

"Mr. Jae," Ken, his bodyguard, said behind him. "You should go inside; you need sleep before you wake up early tomorrow."

"I wanted to see the stage, see what it's going to be like." Jae sighed and stretched his arms above his head. "Three days here, and then we can go back to Seoul. I miss home, Ken."

"You miss Mr. Suk," Ken said with a knowing smile.

Jae sighed and dropped his arms. Another night spent alone.

"Yes, I miss Mr. Suk."

Ken patted his shoulder and turned him toward the exit.

"You can call him when we get to the hotel. You get to sleep in a huge room at this last stop. Harry made sure he got you comfortable suites at the Lotte Hotel. Security is difficult for these last four shows. Your fans are getting very proactive."

"Where are Junghee and Andre? I left them in the dressing room working with the stylist."

"They left in the first car," Ken said as they headed to a car waiting right behind the stage. "We're heading to the Lotte Hotel right now. I'm sure you're tired."

Ken opened the back passenger door for him and Jae slid in with a huge sigh.

"I was expecting a shout of excitement not a sigh."

Jae turned to his left and gasped in shock when he saw Dan seated beside him.

"How?" he asked, pleasant surprise filling every part of his body.

Ken closed the door and Jae threw himself into Dan's arms, closing his eyes when Dan tightened his arms around him.

"Hey," Dan said burying his face into Jae's shoulder. "It's so good to see you."

Jae held on to Dan. Breathing in Dan's scent, he felt the world right itself.

"I missed you so much," Jae said. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"I wanted to surprise you." Dan moved to pull back but Jae held him tight and he chuckled. "I don't want to let you go either."

Jae let a sigh escape and moved only because Ken got in the driver's seat. He held on to Dan's hand, shifting in the seat to face him.

"We're headed to the Lotte Hotel. Want to have a date with me?"

"Are we having dinner in a suite again?" Dan asked.

"No way, we'll have a private dining room, and eat dessert first."

Dan laughed and pulled him closer so that he could whisper in his ear. "But I have this fantasy, you know, and it definitely doesn't include a dining room, Jae."

Heat swept through him, as his body hardened. They'd barely seen each other these past three months, if it were possible, he'd attack Dan right here.

"Fine, we'll have dinner in my suite," Jae whispered back. "I want to know about this fantasy. What does it involve?"

"Dessert," Dan said with a laugh when Jae skimmed his lips over his ear. "Gods, do you know how much I've missed you?"

Jae squeezed his hand and smiled. "You should have come to meet me sooner."

Dan let a sigh escape which made Jae think there was a reason why Dan would fly from Seoul to see him. Leaning back, Jae studied Dan, keenly aware that his boyfriend was keeping something from him. Usually it meant Rebellion was facing another blow.

His gaze dropped to their joined hands and he took in a deep breath searching for strength. How had he gotten this lucky? It wasn't easy meeting someone to trust, someone who thought of his well-being as Dan did. Who understood him so much that he didn't need to speak his feelings because Dan knew them with just one glance?

He wondered if he was this same person to Dan. It scared him that he was a person to cause worry in Dan's life instead.

A month after their tour started, he had discovered that Dan had footed a huge chunk of their distribution costs. Awed by Dan's determination to see Rebellion succeed, he'd felt a surge of fear flood him. Dan was constantly doing things for him, but he couldn't remember what he'd done for Dan, except make him worry.

Now here they were again, Dan was keeping something from him so that he wouldn't worry.

God help him, but he wanted to be strong.

"Dan."

"What's with the serious face?" Dan asked studying him. "What's wrong?"

Jae met his gaze. "You know how much I love you, right?"

Dan squeezed his fingers gently. "It takes my breath away when you say love me, Jae."

Jae nodded. "I'm sorry for causing you trouble all the time-"

"Where is this coming from?" Dan asked with a frown.

"Harry let me know how deep you got with the distribution company. That's why I told him to add more tours, and why we've ended up on the road this long. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted you to concentrate on your music. I had it under control; if things had turned worse, I'd have let you know."

"But-"

"But nothing, Jae," Dan interrupted him. "I knew you'd bring this up the moment I read your interview in the _Rebellion Magazine_ _._ Stop worrying, we've made back the money ten times more than I could have dreamed. You've worked so hard, I'm now a richer man than I started out."

Jae stared at him and then shook his head.

"Look at you, praising us for working hard for your money. Are you some sort of pimp?"

Dan laughed. "You're my slave and should listen to what I say. Stop worrying."

"It's not okay for you to worry on your own. I can't stand it if you're taking on all our burdens and we're living life oblivious to it all. It's not fair to you. Therefore, from now on, I need us to live as partners, Dan. Promise me you won't leave me out of our problems when they arise."

Dan leaned to kiss Jae's jaw gently.

"I promise," Dan said quietly.

"I want to take care of you too," Jae tried to make him understand.

"I know," Dan said. "You do take care of me, Jae."

"Do I?" Jae asked with a sigh. "It feels like you're always the one doing the caring."

Dan kissed him then, not caring that Ken might see them in the rearview mirror. Jae sighed and melted into his arms, his concerns floating away. They pulled apart when they reached the hotel. Jae tugged on a dark cap, pulling it low over his face. Dan walked beside him as they entered the hotel.

They took the elevator to the top floor and Ken led the way to Jae's suite. They waited outside the door as Ken checked the suite to make sure no overzealous fans had found their way in.

"We're good to go," Ken said opening the door wider. "If you need anything, I'm right across the hall."

"Thanks, Ken," Dan said as he followed Jae into the suite. He tugged off his jacket, and dumped it on an armchair. "Can you ask Junghee and Andre to come in here?"

"Sure," Ken said as he left.

"Is there trouble again?" Jae asked, sitting down with a sigh on the couch in the living area. He removed his cap and threw it on the coffee table. "What is it?"

The door opened before Dan could answer. Junghee and Andre hurried in, each of them rushing to hug Dan excitedly.

"When did you get here?" Junghee asked. "Why didn't you call?"

"We could have met you at the airport," Andre said.

"Can you imagine the ruckus of you guys meeting me at the airport?" Dan said with a laugh.

Jae waved at Ken who closed the door and left them alone. Junghee joined him on the couch, and held out a vanilla wafer stick. Jae took it, hoping to stave off hunger.

"What's going on, Dan?" Jae asked.

"Well, I have good news for you," Dan said with a grin. "I wanted to tell you in person, that's why I came all this way. I know Harry has you guys on a news blackout."

"We have ourselves on a news blackout," Junghee said propping his legs on the coffee table. "I hate the news."

"Well, you sure made it today," Dan said with a laugh.

"Was it something bad?" Andre asked with a frown. He stood next to Dan with his arms crossed against his chest.

"Well, you remember the FTC official we met during your showcase in Seoul?" Dan asked.

"Yeah," Jae said.

"He called me earlier today. The FTC issued a sanction against N-Sang Entertainment today, warning them not to interfere with your promotional activities."

Andre gave a big cheer, his eyes wide.

Junghee sat up on the couch beside him and asked, "What?"

"You heard me. I don't have all the details yet, but the FTC has proven that N-Sang ordered a number of industry businesses from promoting Rebellion. They will be fined if caught interfering again."

"That's great and all, but didn't the courts rule the same thing when they threw out the injunction N-Sang filed against us?" Jae asked. "That didn't stop N-Sang from screwing with us."

"Well, now we have proof." Dan said confidently. "N-sang Entertainment might not officially admit it, but more eyes are watching them, making it harder to continue with their ways. This is good news, Jae, the first blinding light at the end of the tunnel."

"Even if we can't get on television, they won't be able to cancel our venues at will. We can have concerts anywhere we want, distribute with whoever we wish." Junghee laughed clapping. "And N-Sang is once again proven to be on the wrong side."

"We should definitely celebrate," Andre said rushing to the phone. "I'm calling for champagne."

Jae stood and moved to hug Dan. "Why didn't you tell us you were working with the FTC? How did all these happen without us knowing?"

"I wanted us to celebrate together," Dan said holding him. "I wasn't sure anything would come of it. I didn't want you to keep your hopes up. It's easier when you concentrate on the music. Are you happy?"

"Insanely," Jae said running his fingers through Dan's hair. "Is this what you were keeping from me in the car?"

Dan nodded pulling back to study Jae. "I wanted to celebrate this as Rebellion. You're finally on top; you've proven everyone wrong. How does it feel?"

Jae let out a breath and turned to Junghee and then Andre. He had no words, just love swelling inside of him like a cascading river. Tears spilled on his cheeks and Dan sighed.

"Oh good lord, no crying, Jae," Andre said.

"I need to get drunk," Jae said turning away from them and wiping his tears away.

"Then the silent tears will turn into deep sobs," Junghee pointed out coming to pat his shoulder. "Besides, you have to perform tomorrow."

"In the afternoon," Jae managed.

" _Hyung,_ " Andre came to hug him. "It's alright. We did well. Don't cry, please, I can't handle that right now."

Jae laughed and wrapped his arms around Andre, afraid he might explode with happiness.

Like they always did, they toasted, laughed, and celebrated another victory, seated together in Jae's suite. They ate a late dinner, and when Andre started drooping, Junghee took him to his suite, leaving Dan and Jae alone.

Jae sat on the floor in the sitting area, holding a glass of champagne. He held his glass up to Dan with a sleepy grin.

"To you, Dan, you're my everything."

Dan clinked their glasses and sipped his drink. He put his glass on the coffee table and leaned to take Jae's glass out of his hands.

"I was drinking that," Jae protested as Dan helped him to his feet.

"I want to make love to you," Dan said pulling him into his arms. Jae met dark brown eyes that made his heart ache with love. "I want to kiss you and hold you in my arms for the rest of my life. I love you, Jae, more than you'll ever understand. I love you."

Jae wrapped his arms around Dan and smiled. "I love you more than anything in this world too. I do understand, because you showed me what love is. Did you know that?"

****

His heart full, Dan held Jae tight.

"I know, Jae," he answered. They kissed and when Jae pulled back and laid his head on Dan's shoulder, he sighed. "Jae?"

A soft snore greeted his ears making him chuckle. Jae's weight rested against him, and he was suddenly holding up one hundred and forty pounds of dead weight.

"Typical," Dan said as he lifted Jae into his arms.

He laid Jae in the bed, having stripped him of his jeans and t-shirt. Brushing brown hair out of Jae's eyes, he pressed a kiss on his forehead before he pulled the covers over him.

Ten minutes later, after a shower, Dan slipped into bed, and smiled when Jae reached for him in his sleep. Jae's touch sent raging heat through his body. His fantasies roared to life, as Jae slept peacefully in his arms. Smiling at the thought of waking Jae up in the morning, he buried his nose into Jae's hair and let himself bask in the one place he'd always belong: in Kim Jaehan's arms.

***

_Fin_

About the Author:

Suilan Lee was born in a small town in South Korea, and grew up moving from one city to another. She works with an aide organization, teaching others ways of making their lives better. In her spare time, she loves writing romance stories, set in different cities with characters who live ordinary lives and fight for extraordinary love and happiness. She believes in a happy ending and will always work toward making one happen.

For more stories, visit her blog: www.leesuilan.wordpress.com
