

Bridging the Gap

Friends are Family

Book I

Channeled by Kimberly M. Quezada

Copyright © 2019 by Kimberly M. Quezada

License Notes

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. All rights reserved. This eBook or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Printed in Canada

First printing, 2019

ISBN 9781775361657

Kimberly M. Quezada

Edmonton, Alberta

Canada

Soul Family...

Are those that gather around you in your life, not connected by blood or race, but by energy and essence.

They bring unconditional love and support at the perfect times and understand and share the same mission and purpose.

For you I am grateful – We are one.

  * Marie Abanga

Introduction – Cory Monteith

Family's family. That's a statement that contained a lot of questions for me because what is a family? Is it a group of people that are tied by the red stuff; that blood or is it something more that we have trouble recognizing or admitting that it's there. What do we call people that become so important to us, that we don't share a blood type or a gene pool with? Sometimes...that whole "friend" word just doesn't cut it; it just feels stale. Because...you feel you know these people and recognize something in them that goes far deeper than a word "friend" could ever encompass. There are friends out there that mean the world to each other, where you know that even if you couldn't go home to be yourself, that you could come together with them and be the most genuine person you could ever be. But that, to me, doesn't necessarily define "friend". It defines something more than that.

There are ties reaching out in every direction of a person and they can reach across the globe and they can reach to places that people have no idea exist but are very real. When someone dies, those strings still maintain their hold; they stay connected and the most unbelievable thing is that these strings...because they work on that deeper level, they can attract connection that a person wouldn't even know existed as they lived because sometimes it's really hard for a person to look that deep into another. People like to keep that connection pretty surface level because anything deeper than that...it's foreign. As a spirit, I look down, around and up at the world and see all these different ropes and they tie into the abdomen like an umbilical cord and they sort of search for this foreign connection. They reach out and search for something to grab onto that's very meaningful and something that can't be undone. But people on earth have no idea about those ropes. They can't see them but they can feel them and when someone asks a person, hey, is that your friend over there, they don't know how to answer that because the pull of the rope is so much bigger and feels so much deeper than just saying, yeah...that's my friend. It's almost like you feel guilty about just calling them your friend or your buddy or your bud because it doesn't even give that person justice...it doesn't give meaning to them. It's weak. It's watered down but because that's what people only know to say or are only comfortable to say out loud, they just say it anyway. I find and am part of so many connections and it's hard for me to describe, in words, what they mean to me. Some come and some go but some remain. We don't have to talk every day to be instantly aware of each other and how much we love each other so I feel that it's sort of a disappointment or an insult to people, and their lives, that the true meaning of friendship is too uncomfortable to admit or to say.

We can't pick our families (well, we do but that's just a huge side note and another topic all together) and some of us have had a hard time with the ones that we are attached to because of the gene pool. But we can pick our friends. We can pick people that speak to us in those silent ways, where just a look will comfort or start a whole bunch of laughter that just doesn't quit. We can pick the ones that see us for all we are even when the gene pool says we aren't enough. We can connect with people that will show us what really is instead of believing in something that really isn't. It's such a gift to be able to pick or have people pick us as someone they actually want in their lives instead of someone that has to be in their life because of some sort of duty because it's blood. People are at a stage where the buffet of choice is out there to receive so much through others but they just can't put their finger on why these people are so important...they just are. They just are because it's simple and easy. They just are because it's real. It feels very real where sometimes...even that parent to child can feel very surface level and false but you try to get along because your "parent and child". Friends...to see eye to eye with different individuals from different walks of life can deliver such fulfillment and trust. Trust because...anything different from where you've come or what you've been can make a person really have to stick their chin out and be vulnerable and sometimes family can't give us the space to feel vulnerable but good friends...they do.

I connect. I connect from a place of heart and soul. But, to be brutally honest with you, I found that sometimes, when I was alive, I couldn't do that. I kept being the person others wanted me to be and the few people that I could be completely real with, it was still scary for me. I had trouble being Cory because through relationships, I didn't always know who Cory was. There were days that I wanted to run into the arms of someone that really understood me but how could I run into the arms of someone when I couldn't connect to who I really was and have that soul to soul connection where the word "friend" didn't measure up to what that really meant. I craved soul to soul and when I found it, I still second guessed it as something created from my imagination because I was still an enigma to myself. All of that came together to build this big wall that I would try to convince myself wasn't there but by trying to convince myself, I would just end up building it higher. I had connection. I had friends that loved me for me and only me and would have taken my place in a heartbeat if that would make me feel and be the best I could be. But I had the responsibility of allowing that and a lot of the time...I couldn't get there.

So why do I say these things? Because I want to tell people that it's more than okay to look for that soul to soul because it exists even if you try to convince yourself that it doesn't. Friends...they are family. They are the ones that take you as you are; they are the ones that have your back because they want to. They want to get you out of trouble and they want to see, in your face and in your eyes, that you're really okay and that you're wanted. Everyone wants to be wanted. And I...found that. I'm wanted even with my old preconceived ideas of walls and boundaries and having to fit in because the world only wants to see you "this" way...all that has fallen away and I realized that I'm wanted; for me...for Cory. And being found that way makes me really want that for everyone else.

Kim doesn't like to be mentioned but if I'm doing an introduction to a channeled book, I have to talk about the one that channels it. I mean, it's like peanut butter and jelly and I can't have peanut butter and jelly without the bread; the thing that holds it together. I met Kim on a neighborhood street when she was walking her dog. That's how a lot of us introduce ourselves; when she's outside, early in the morning and she's walking her dog. But...I had a hard time with coming face to face. I had a hard time because I was still learning how to do that face to face thing where it was okay that people could see your emotions or what you were really feeling; that it was safe. I felt safe when I got here (heaven) but when I went back to earth...sometimes that whole idea of people just wanting me to be a certain way or act some story...sometimes that came back to me so I sort of stayed behind her. She knew I was there. But you know what? She didn't get excited. She didn't get all anxious. She just let me walk behind her. She allowed me this space and freedom to come to her how I really was. I was just Cory. I laugh as I remember a little bit because it was a couple of weeks that I would just sort of walk behind her...I wanted to talk but I just wasn't sure how to initiate anything. I didn't want things to come up and out that would sort of be painful for anyone because my death caused a lot of hurt and there were a lot of unanswered questions that some didn't get any closure on. So I didn't want to re-hash things that were still really painful and raw. Kim knew that. She understood that even when I was walking five feet behind her. Then, one morning, she sat on her couch and she called me in and she said that she wasn't a reporter and she wasn't in it for some sort of glory. She just offered to sit and talk with me because she felt that I wanted to. Who does that? Who extends an invitation, soul to soul, with a stranger who seemed a little like a stalker? She brought all of her to me and I was invited to bring all of me to her. That was it. Cards were on the table and they were all Aces. And since that day, I became...a brother and she became my sister but there's no gene pool involved here. It's beyond that. I have a big soul sister and through that connection I met other soul brothers and sisters and not just in heaven. I've met them all over Earth because by one invitation, everything opened up.

Between soul families, nothing is hidden. Everything is laid out in the open and nothing is left unsaid. By joining Kim, there's this big understanding that nothing has to hide and everything can be revealed and it doesn't matter if it falls on deaf ears. Just because we said it or shared it...that's all that matters because it's between us and if anyone can use that...even better. That's what bridging the gap is all about. It's soul to soul, energy to energy and through various connections, family gets created and the ultimate is that unconditional acceptance and love is felt.

Family's family but where I am and through the work that I do and share now...family is built, constructed, allowed, invited and it's never questioned. These people that are in this book are inviting you to be family only because that's supposed to grow. Family is supposed to grow because the earth is more than blood. Everything on earth is more than blood and genes. It's energy and it's souls and it's spirits and it's ropes and silver threads and pools of emotion and intuition just waiting for the chance to be used. Earth is like this highway of constructed energetic connections; energetic bridges and freeways and neighborhoods and paths and trails and stairs and elevators...because all of that is wanted...really desired and not only because of duty. It's because...it's love. Connection isn't just about reaching out. It's about drawing in too. My prayer is that...walls start to come down so that people can connect with other people and heaven can connect with people because heaven connects with heaven and you know what? Heaven...we want that. We want you to be in our lives just as much as you want us back in yours and we want that because we love you and through this kind of thing...we can actually show that. Are you willing? Because I am. Ryker is. Simon is. Anton is. Roger is. Cole is. Tony is. Chris is. Audrey is. Erik is. Stirling...Grayson...my sister, Kim is. Let's grow something. Who cares what it looks like. Let's just...build and grow. Join me and come as you are. Just come.

Cory

Conversations with Anton Yelchin - Identity

This is a big topic but one I think that so many of us struggle with or have difficulty with. I guess it comes from a place that is getting to know that big essence that is You; that part that stays with you from lifetime to lifetime. I feel like there's a lot that makes up identity and sometimes identity can be very fleeting which makes the stress of finding it, sometimes pretty nail biting. I feel like if we relaxed a little bit, big revelations would come in and they would feel right and good...miraculous even. Anton is such a great guy. I really enjoy when he comes to talk. He's got a great energy. He's one of these Spirits that I get excited about when he shows up. Here's Anton...

K: Hi Anton.

A: (smiles) Hey Kim. Hey. Nice to see you again. That's not even how I want to state it but, I mean, I could say nice to feel you again but then people might get the wrong idea. (playing with his fingers)

K: I got it. It's all good. Thanks for talking my language.

A: Not a problem. I can still grasp the language even though it's spoken differently. Anyway...

K: Well, since you're here, do you want to do a chat for the Youth Page with me?

A: I think that'd be really cool. Let's do it.

K: Cool. I want to talk about identity.

A: (chuckles) Wow. That's one of those topics that could shoot off in any direction.

K: I know. It's so big.

A: So I guess we kinda have to keep it focused. (groans but an easy groan and is grinning) I don't even know where to start.

K: Well, I feel like identity is not a stagnant thing. I mean, I guess your soul or your spirit's fingerprint is...maybe. I'm not there so I can't say for sure but as someone living on the Earth and doing these Earthly things is identity a stagnant thing?

A: I don't think it can be, to be honest. I think eventually it's going to have a different look about it. It's going to have a different feel. It has to mature right? We can't all stay in the year book club or the cheer-leading squad until we're in our 40s. It has to change.

K: I hope not. I'm sure there's some that keep that mentality, though.

A: Yeah. For sure. It's because those were the good times in their lives and they want to hold on to those because anything different would feel kind of foreign but...there comes a time when the cheerleader in their 40s can't relate to what's going on anymore because as the world around them has matured they've kind of missed the boat.

K: But it's not forever.

A: Nah. Not forever. Still, it would be nice to go on the first sail than wait around for it to come again and really, (sits up) that's a personal choice to make. The ship will sail around again when you're ready to evolve as you're...you're kind of supposed to.

K: Identity is tied with maturity?

A: A little. Yeah.

K: I guess a two year old couldn't identify with a ten year old and so on.

A: No. I mean, they could think they do but that's what the teenage years are for.

K: The rebellious years.

A: Because they're in the middle of finding out who they are with what they got, right. And it's almost like this lightning strike of realization that they feel they're ready to come out with but others around them are not. It's like shooting out of the gate before the gun goes off and the audience is like, wait a second, cheating. But it's not. It's just that they're ready to identify with how they are feeling at that moment but don't know how integrate it before flying out and showing the world.

K: Integration of an identity. Interesting.

A: Because it's always evolving. As circumstances change and you get to know yourself more than when you were seven...that's where people sometimes feel lost because their identity has been tied to the past when the future is gonna look different than what you're probably expecting it to look like.

K: Identity therefor, in a human life, changes.

A: Yeah. The world isn't a stagnant thing. Neither is a person.

K: But that main part of you...the spirit that is part of the whole, that part of you that is coming to experience this life or any life, does that remain the same?

A: The spirit you are remains the same so think of that analogy of the tree right. Just like Source is the trunk with all the branches that are the individuals, right...you are also the trunk of that tree and all the lives are the individuals that you choose to experience right? So the identity of the Spirit remains constant even with all the experiences under their belts...that is the constant thing because it's built on that love factor that people forget sometimes. It's that ground...the steady ground that is the constant while all these other lives are the evolvement. (crosses an ankle over a knee and smiles while rubbing his lip) This is why it's so big. To talk about identity on earth, I mean yeah, let's do it but that's the part that changes with that person's experience until they get back to the root of it which is the beginning of all. It's that love factor.

K: When I first was thinking of the idea to talk about identity I didn't realize the scope of it. So, allow yourself to evolve?

A: I think that you have to give yourself a break and be like Gumby.

I'm laughing.

K: Gumby?

A: Yeah. Be flexible. Be bendable because everything that a person lives here, that arm will bend one way and the leg will contort in another but it's you. Your Gumby but it's really the experiences that shape the identity of that.

K: So when we think of identity, sometimes we think that's the core of us...

A: And it is. Here. But it's not stagnant and people have to think flexibility. I think that if you're so rigid, you know...life will throw something your way and if you can't be flexible, you're gonna get it in the head, right?

K: Good examples.

A: (laughs) I'm trying to think of ways that people will get it without being disappointed that having this identity is your soul purpose but purpose and identity is very different and again, purpose can change depending on the choices you make and don't.

K: Being fixated on trying to identify with a way of being when it's just not you?

A: Because there's this should feeling. Like blending in.

K: Yeah.

A: I guess that's just lying to yourself right and then we're talkin' about a whole other thing. It can get depressing and sad. People just feel lost when they don't listen to the guidance of their hearts. You see that in some people, who you know, are struggling with identifying with sex or gender or race or whatever. These are big things. They identify with one side of the coin but can't flip it because there's a fear of...maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I don't really feel these ways in my body. Maybe I can't identify with one race because I was raised in this house and they don't pay attention to that part of me that says I'm African American or I'm Native or I'm Asian, right? I think in those instances it's just a hint to shut off the should and just listen to that trunk of you that's your beginning and even though sometimes it speaks really quietly, just shutting out the background noise can help hear it and understand what it's saying.

K: Identity crises?

A: It's like this panic attack that you aren't really knowing who you are at the speed you should be. Like there's this sense of running out of time because you should know what you identify with or who you are but you don't so you're being left behind and you have to make up for it in some way.

K: Is there a time limit?

A: No. (shakes head and sits up bringing his leg down) I don't think so just because every day is a new day. I mean, people might not think like that. They see their friends moving forward and are happy with it and, it's like, you feel left behind. It is a crisis for some people and it's very real because there's this rush to be something or do something when it's really found by just being and letting this...evolvement; this maturity to lead the way. It's even with adults right? I mean, most seventy year olds can't relate to a thirty year old anymore because when they were thirty...the world was a different place. Their identity...it parallels the age; the lifetime of now.

K: That makes sense.

A: Some...yeah, they can relate to thirty year olds because they keep up with how fast things can change but it can make a head spin just looking back on your life and figuring out where it all went and why did it have to change so fast.

K: Allowing flow with identity.

A: Yeah. There will be parts of you that will never change. There will be parts of you that you purposely brought to this life that you've always had in all lives. Those things won't change. Maybe you were an alchemist back in 1424 and you bring that with you into 2017 as...I don't know...an engineer or something. There's that basis of living a different experience using the same knowledge. That's part of an identity that doesn't change. The jobs might change. The people around you might change but that alchemist who now engineers...that is based on something ancient that's a part of you.

K: I get it. That makes sense. You're so good.

A: (grins) I'm trying to keep it simple but there you go.

K: How can a person, especially a young person who's struggling to keep up...how can they avoid the crisis and the depression.

A: I think sometimes that they avoid the truth of them while gravitating to society based wishes. So if they can really hone in on their own personal radars...it's there to show the way.

K: As an actor, did you have to identify with the roles you played as Anton or did you like exploring something that maybe you didn't identify with?

A: Oh...that's a good question, Kim.

K: I know. That's why I'm asking it.

A: Uh...I liked a challenge. I liked to play dress up and I liked to think, Okay. This person is going through this so how can I portray that even if it's not relatable to me. It was a cool challenge to come up with those things from inside and project them. Could I relate to characters I was playing? I mean...yeah. On some level I had to if I wanted to pull it off but I enjoyed the challenge of maybe playing someone that was maybe a little hard for me to relate to and then, while doing that, finding what was in me that could, even if I didn't recognize that within me at that time. I liked acting because as much as I explored the character...indirectly I got to explore myself and maybe identify with things that I never would have thought about if I hadn't played a certain character.

K: It sounds like really digging down deep sometimes.

A: It was sometimes. Sometimes I would think (chuckling) how am I ever going to make this believable. I had my own insecurities but working with people and seeing, like, a producer or a directors vision and taking that in and finding that in me...it wasn't impossible. That's the thing with human nature. Nothing's impossible. Everything can be relatable or identifiable if you just took the time to discover it. I find that human nature is all about self-discovery. Even if it's not something a person wants to share but keeps that private, it's still acknowledging something about yourself that you can be okay with and can, ultimately, grow with and mature with until you're ready to show the world without having it attached to anxiety or worry that you're running out of time or that it's not what others want.

K: That's very cool. I like this topic of conversation. We may have to expand on it one day.

A: Hey, I like it too. It's pretty...I mean you could go off on so many tangents right?

K: Tree wise.

A: (grins) Tree wise. I couldn't think of anything else that could come....close I guess.

K: It makes sense. Thanks Anton.

A: Thanks Kim. Tell everyone I say Hi.

K: You can do that too you know.

A: I know. Hi.

K: Hi and bye?

A: Never bye. See ya.

K: See ya.

Nods his head a little and is gone.

Conversations with Erik Medhus – Whats "Normal"?

E: Wanna wanna huh? Wanna talk? I know you do.

K: What's taken you so long?

E: Me? I don't think so. I think it's you. But that's okay. I understand. The thing is, I would never ignore you. (sarcasm at its finest.)

K: Okay okay. Guilty. Are you here for the Youth Page or just a general hello?

E: I think it's so fucking amazing how you're doing this without even knowing how or what to do or even where to start but you're starting it and it's pretty cool. Yeah. It's about releasing expectations. Just do. Do do do.

K: I'm trying. I did want to talk with you about normal. The norm.

E: Yeah. I know. Hate...well, maybe not hate. I can't hate. It's frustrating because normal is according to who?

K: Who is it according to, Erik?

E: Fucking standards brought about by people who know better and textbooks. Don't forget about the textbooks. This is a textbook example of why Timmy can't get the grades. (puts on a really professional voice) Shit like that really gets to me. Normal standards and then if you can't make that bar, you're less than but really who made the rules and why? Why does there have to be a standard?

(Oh, Erik's on a roll. He's got me typing really fast. I think he's fired up.)

K: Do you think people and, I guess I'll say the youth since that's where this is going to be posted, they have this belief that if they don't seem or appear normal then they're pretty much SOL?

E: Yeah. Of course. Because all they hear is that you're not acting normal or this work isn't up to standard or the effort that you're giving is disappointing when that kid's effort is the best that they got and instead of being encouraging they are discouraged and maybe feel that they can't amount to anything more. It's the biggest shit show and one that I experienced personally so I kind of have a loud voice when talking about it.

K: So is being someone's normal ignoring a lot of who you are? Or kind of like makes people nervous to be self-expressive or vocal because it's out of the norm that you see everywhere?

E: Totally. There's this lack of self-expression or creation or lack of honesty just because it doesn't seem like it's part of normal life. Scratch the word normal. There's no normal anymore. There's individualism and personal preference.

K: How do you think that we can start expressing our own individualism without being told that we're inappropriate based on what someone else thinks we should be or how we act?

E: But that's just the thing. It's continuously based on another person. People gotta start stepping up and shaking up normalcy.

K: To know what people are struggling through, there has to be some sort of way to measure progress. Like emotional, mental, physical.

E: Sure. There has to be those systems but don't hold it against the person. Then you're just getting into labeling those people with problems and with a label, they can't get out from under that diagnosis, learning or behavioral problem because the label has it following them for the rest of their life. Instead of labeling someone, why don't we hand them some self-empowerment about things that they can achieve or can accomplish without saying oh, you're way below par. You'll struggle with this. Instead of that maybe someone needs to say, hey, this isn't your thing but you know what you're awesome at? This______? Do this. Encouraging strengths instead of what someone objectifies as weakness will really blow this normal shit out of the water.

K: Has normal changed over the years?

E: It has to flow with the times but the thing is, it's not working anymore. It's just creating frustration because students or young kids, in general, some of them can't reach that level of normalcy and it's creating insecurities or depression. It's creating this feeling of lack when really, what are you lacking? You're lacking something you should (Should isn't a word that I like and I don't think he does either.) have or it starts people comparing against each other and really, that's not playing fair. People aren't robots. People are people and they all are different and have varying degrees of strengths. Interests are so broad so for some guy to say, that's not normal. That's just odd. It leaves...there's a gap that can't be filled. Or it's filled but with feelings of not being good enough. Everyone's good enough. That's what makes humanity humanity. That everyone contributes something that's completely different which makes this place as interesting as it is. Normal is boring because there's no creativity in normal. If someone's just striving for normal...go for it but there'll be something missing.

K: And what's that?

E: Being your own person. There's something to say about being your own person and owning your shit. If you screw up, take responsibility for it. Don't appear shameful about it. Own it. And what's really a mistake? According to who? It's just an opportunity that was presented that you took and then ultimately learned from. There's no wrong or right. There just is and you can take that and evolve or learn from it or you can just ignore it and continue the same old same old. AKA normal.

K: Do you think that normal would discount experience?

E: Normal makes people fearful of stepping out of the box they were handed when being schooled or living in society that was built for them.

K: Are you saying build your own society?

E: Wouldn't that be awesome!!! That sounds a little like starting a cult though.

K: Your words. Not mine.

E: Okay. You can be part of society but swim in your own direction (showing me salmon swimming upstream) What's wrong with giving yourself a challenge and celebrating the effort no matter what the outcome?

K: There's nothing wrong with celebrating effort. Effort indicates that you at least tried something new.

E: Exactly. Celebrate the effort because it just means you were willing to step out of your comfort zone and try something new. Even if it was old to everyone else and you tried something that was completely new to you, celebrate the effort and all outcomes of that because you just experienced something that will always be a part of your life. So what it didn't work out. Don't live in that. Explore something else and make that your normal. Peoples' normals are to experience life. They chose to be here. So experience all that you chose to live.

K: According to who?

E: According to personal truth. According to how you feel, what you feel. How do you feel about what you're doing? You can think all you want but how does it really make you feel. Your feelings can really be an awesome gauge to your normal.

K: But what about the intention?

E: If your normal is about intending to be hurtful, examine that. Why? What is it that you're feeling that your actions are intended to hurt others?

K: So normal can be personal and what is normal to one person doesn't necessarily have to be normal to another.

E: No. I mean, let's be real. There's a lot of stuff that's normal to society because that's the way the world turns. You need to get gas for your car, you need to pay the bills, you need to get food from the store, you need to call your boss when you're sick, you need to study for the tests. There's stuff that's normal that makes the world turn but your personal normal doesn't rely on anyone else's input than yours.

K: What about parenting?

E: You know, I was lucky. I was given the support and the encouragement to explore. Me, I wasn't really gifted with the skills to do all of that. I had my problems that I needed to experience but I was given the love and support from great parents and siblings that allowed me to create in my own personal way. You know, I liked music. I liked the guitar. I liked fast things. I liked the...I was a little addicted to the dare devil stuff but I was encouraged to explore what I liked and what I was drawn to while still having to contribute to my family life and the world around me. I was given the tools to find my normal even if my personal normal I struggled with a lot.

K: Yeah. I know. So, if you don't have that support to encourage your personal normal, how would you even know to do that?

E: Okay, so here's the thing. If you see an article or you see something on the television that peaks your interest or you're in your room and something just pops into your mind that you can't stop thinking about, no one's saying you can't do that. Take a leadership role in your life to explore those things that interest you personally. Share your thoughts about them and like I said earlier, give some effort into something new. It doesn't matter the outcome as long as you gave it a try and a real try. A real try is your normal.

K: Youth, today, feel like they're up against the world. What's a simple thing that they can do to come out of that?

E: Don't think you have to go to war with the world around you. Yeah, you live in a society that carries with it certain norms. But you're also an individual. Stand in that. How about instead of trying to raise someone else's bar, you try to raise your own. Challenge yourself instead of looking outside of yourself for a challenge based on someone else's ideas. There's lots of things that a person can do to challenge themselves and stick out in a crowd of people that just go with the flow. It's just that sometimes there's shame there or there's this feeling of being uncomfortable because, God forbid, how would that look if I actually did something that was right for me.

K: So to get out of the struggle of normalcy, take a personal challenge or if you're drawn to something outside of the box step out of the box?

E: Yeah. Why the hell not?

K: There's this fear of judgement or ridicule...I get in those states of mind too and it takes a certain amount of effort to come out of that.

E: And when you do, celebrate that accomplishment.

K: So coming out of the idea of opinion or judgement or criticism is an accomplishment?

E: Oh hell yeah. Because sometimes, that's all you can see but if you can see beyond that...it's pretty fucking amazing when you see the results of that. It just lights that fire under your ass to continue finding your normal and disregarding what anyone has to say to that.

K: I always say in my card readings that this doesn't give a person permission to be jerk or an asshole.

E: No, because when you find that thing that makes you happy and alive, why would you become an asshole. You'd just want to share that experience and be an example of something creatively new.

K: Creatively fresh and new.

E: Yeah. No one says being a jerk is cool. Sometimes being a jerk is what's normal. You want to move beyond that. You want to be someone that people look at and say, look how brave they were. Be a hero. Be a leader in a world of followers. It's time to break out of the follow the leader role and be front and center as an example of what awesome looks like.

K: Wow.

E: I know, right? Wow.

K: Do you always end on a note that makes people stop and think how amazing you are?

E: (puffs out his chest) I try.

K: You don't try. You do. It's automatic with you.

E: Yeah it's automatic with me. That's why I'm here and that's why you're connecting with my awesomeness.

K: I could roll my eyes.

E: Yeah but you won't because you know I'm right.

K: I know you're right. Anything else on normal. I think we went off on a few tangents but anything else to add?

E: Just that it's about time, Kim!

K: I know I know. Rub it in.

E: Don't give me the invite.

K: My lips are sealed.

E: I'm outta here. I'll talk to you later.

K: I'm sure.

E: Later Kim.

K: Later Erik. Take care.

E: See ya.

Conversations with Benjamin Cole Brown – Coffee Chat

I've made many friends over the couple of years that I've been doing this work; human friends and spirit friends. I've never extended the invitation to any of these spirits. They just seem to find me on their own and the connection, sometimes, is super great. Cole is one of those guys that I found myself having a really wonderful feeling from. I find that when just allowing some sort of exchange or introduction or relationship, whatever that looks like...instead of looking for, forcing, or asking...for me, it's a lot more easy going, real, and authentic when allowed and never pushed for or begged for. It just flows and that's how I prefer to work. He's easy going, totally relaxed, loving, and compassionate yet, in all the soft and mushy stuff, he's extremely passionate. Here is coffee talk with Benjamin Cole Brown on nothing in particular. Just a couple friends meeting up because they want to.

K: Long time no speak but these days it's a lot. How are you doing handsome?

B: I'm doing good. I'm really good. How are you?

K: I'm okay. What's up?

B: Uh...just, I guess checking in on old friends.

K: That's really sweet. Life's been good?

B: Life's been great.

K: What've you been doing?

B: I guess you could...call me a guardian angel of sorts.

K: Oh yeah? With who?

B: Just with places and people that I've been pulled to. I gravitate more to kids than anything. I like that energy. It's like...whatever's happening in the world or with their lives...in general they can still smile and they can just be present in whatever they're living and it's really something to see. It was inspiring to me, when I lived, the strength of children. Sometimes I was amazed because the strength from a child was doubled or tripled that of an adult.

K: Do you think it's because life hasn't touched them as much as an adult's life has?

B: Not always no. Some children go through horrific things. I mean, you're reading about it more and more these days and it's pretty disturbing. It disturbs me and I understand what that...I don't even like bigger picture because when kids are involved...there's no bigger picture. It's just horrific.

K: Do you find that kids can heal more so or faster than an adult can after any sort of trauma or abuse?

B: It's the support around them that solidifies the deal but...I was hanging out with this one kid. He's about...what is he now...eleven? He's in the UK and he's living with his alcoholic father and instead of running and being this loser kid because he can...he's trying to help his dad. He's being more of a dad to his dad than what his dad can be so it's just...it really gets me how priorities with kids can be adaptable to what they're living. It's not all the time. Of course it's not all the time. But, I like to be there with them and just support whatever strength they have and whatever strength they feel they lack to sometimes get through the day.

K: Do you find that children feel subservient and they can't speak up or they don't have a voice because they're only kids?

B: (nods) I see that a lot. I see that with abuse a lot. It's even with the adults but kids...the thing about kids is that they have to be encouraged to speak up. They need encouragement for that and not to be shut down because what they talk about is only from a child and so it doesn't make any sense or it's not important. Some of the most profound or important messages come from children.

K: Why do you think that?

B: Because it comes from innocence and it comes from a place of truth that they only have because they haven't been jaded by the world around them.

K: I have to agree. With my kids, I encourage them to talk. Mind you, sometimes it's very reactive and it gets them into trouble but as a general rule...even if they swear, I allow it to an extent so they feel like that can voice whatever's going on without fearing punishment or grounding or whatever. I find that it took years and years to be able to find my own voice because of that fear; of being punished or reprimanded. I can pretty much be okay with the fact that I, as an adult, am not always right and sometimes, my kids make more sense than I do.

B: It's great because when adults can actually come down to a kid's level...more is understood instead of swept aside because it's just a kid talking. I really like being with the kids.

K: Thank you for coming into the coaching the other day.

B: Yeah. Paul came and got me and just said I needed to talk to this guy so I did what I could.

K: I think there could be some pondering going on. I took a look at one of your videos last night...

B: I know.

K: Well, because you sort of had a hand in that.

B: (laughs lightly while rubbing his hands together) I'm still capable.

K: Something bothered me about the comments on it.

Actually, I was really pissed off but I won't bore readers with the details of my temper.

B: Yeah?

K: How did the whole volunteering in Haiti or helping to build a school for children become a conversation about race?

B: Ah. Yeah, I read that.

K: Here are volunteers, experiencing another world and living in that world while building homes and schools and they're ridiculed for being white and sweeping in when they aren't wanted. What did the color of someone's skin have anything to do with volunteering?

B: It's one of these things where you go into a situation and just try to help but because of the past of a country or because of the past with what white men did or even do...it's looked on as sort of elbowing their way in to be some sort of savior. We never...this organization never went into any country trying to be saviors. The intention was and always is to give these people a starting point to build and create more. You feel...dis-empowered when you don't have a roof over your head and your neighborhood is in the middle of a dump and it's dirty. I mean, you live in that and you begin to embody that because it's all you know. We're not going in there to take over a person's life or the way they live. We're going in there to give them support and a starting point to allow them the mentality or the belief that they're worth a house and they're worth schools and they're worth clean drinking water. The organization comes in to create empowerment and not to take over. We leave. We don't' stay. We get the job done and it's off to the next job but what we leave is a bigger sense of community and a bigger sense of...I've got a new home...I can sleep well knowing that I'm safe...I can sleep well knowing that I'm taken care of and now I can take care of my needs and my family's needs better than I ever could. It's really amazing what a house with four walls and a roof can do to lift the spirits of someone who was living under scrap metal and tarps.

K: So the comments that I was reading...the ones that actually really started to piss me off was because of the assumption that white men were going to just swoop in and take over people's lives to make them their own.

B: I mean...that's still the fear right? There's still that mentality and that's why, in certain countries, we really have to know what we're going into and we have to work with other organizations and communities to reach out safely and not go in there blind. We can't do the work if we're not safe to do so.

K: Did anything bother you about rebuilding or building up communities? Did you sense that people didn't want you there because you were white or the majority of your volunteers were white?

B: Sometimes there was a sense that those people that we were trying to help...they maybe felt a little misunderstood and if we didn't understand their way of life as it was...or if we didn't understand what they needed and we just sort of went in just doing what we wanted, that we weren't really understanding of their needs. And if we weren't understanding of their needs as they were at that moment, then why were we even bothering because then we were just building for the sake of feeding our egos and not being helpful. So when we organize these trips, we make sure that the needs of the community are looked at. We get the volunteers to experience life with these communities and what they're daily struggles are so they know that they're (volunteers) going into something with the intention of providing ease or accessibility to housing or water or whatever the case may be and not just to destroy what was so we can see what we want to see without consideration.

K: Was it sometimes frustrating to get met with...a weary attitude just because of...maybe the country you came from or the color of your skin?

B: (shakes head) No. I understood where they were coming from and so I made it clear that I was there for them. When the dialogue between people, no matter what the color of their skin is or the gender they are or represent...when that dialogue happens...there's a lot of space for understanding and hope that people can come together for the best reasons and not get hung up on separation because of the differences outside of ourselves. I mean, inside, we're all human and we're all a part of this world and we have great connections with each other if we can get to a point that we can look at each other with eyes of community and eyes of awareness. We may all have separate houses or cities or countries...but it's all connected and we all have a responsibility to come together to support no matter what we look like on the outside.

K: I agree and I think that's why I was so...irritated with the comments. It's like...why can't we see the beauty in the assistance or the projects or the people that are experiencing different cultures or countries to actually be of service or integrate or whatever you want to call it. To understand that the circumstances of why people are trying to give of themselves isn't only for some gratification but to absorb something from those people as well. I mean, a person could learn so much from people that struggle and it could ultimately become this mentality of, I have a lot to be grateful for. I don't know if I'm making sense. I'm probably rambling. I was just really irritated that good work by human beings was being boiled down to white vs. color.

B: Yeah. I understand. I felt it. I feel it. But I think that the more individuals come together and support the differences and uplift and...I mean...ask. Don't assume or don't bully your way into something that's not even your responsibility. I don't go in there assuming and being this big guy that says, I'm helping you and you don't have any say. That's not my responsibility. It's just...going into a situation and asking yourself...where could I be needed the most and ask. Where do you need me the most? Where can I be the most helpful in this situation?

K: Is that the step back and assessing?

B: Yeah. The pause and assessing is showing respect. Respect for situations or respect for lives...Sometimes I looked around me and thought...a lot of this stuff could be solved if we just had a little more respect for each other. Lives matter. It's not...just because this person lives in a dump is he worth any less than the person who lives in the penthouse suite downtown.

K: Audrey Hepburn said that she disliked how there was so much imbalance and there was so much in this world that people just didn't have to go without.

B: Absolutely. 100% No one has to go without and yet so many do.

K: Did you ever have this mentality that you could save or help...all of it. Did you look at a constant bigger picture and did that become overwhelming sometimes?

B: In my darkest moments was when I became overwhelmed and it wasn't often because I kept pretty positive. If you're volunteering your life to something...you generally have a pretty positive outlook on life but in my darkest moments when things just seemed so heavy...it did get overwhelming. I felt a lot of responsibility on my shoulders and sometimes I had trouble delegating that. It never became a problem. It was over pretty fast and it was over when I had a kid smile at me or hug me or a mother who didn't have anything but offered me a snack. Whatever it was...it never lasted long. The down side for me was that...how am I going to reach so many people in need because I have so much to offer; especially after hurricanes or earthquakes. Sometimes I felt like it was a race against time. But that was just me panicking a little that things needed to get done faster because more people needed help.

K: But you could only do what you could do.

B: And so can anybody, right. So can anybody. It's just...be okay with what you can give because what you're giving is usually enough.

K: Let's bring it back to the everyday and not such a large scale. Let's bring it back to work or feeling overwhelmed with life...jobs, daily grind...that sort of thing. Sometimes people feel like they're racing against the clock.

B: But what's the goal? Is the goal to have that cookie cutter life from a magazine and you're living towards that goal or are you willing to live. Are we willing to live the messy? Are we willing to prioritize and the prioritizing might not be everything as it 'should' be but how it is. Being in the messy is sort of like being in the eye of the storm. It's how you roll with it. I think a lot of the sense of being overwhelmed is from not being able to prioritize...that the mind sort of just like...wraps itself around everything all at once and the energy goes to that and not necessarily the action. Pick and choose what is the important for that moment.

K: How does one do that when you're looking at disaster relief?

B: You take one area and you concentrate there and then you go to the next area and you concentrate there and so on and so on. You can't look at the whole thing because you'll get dizzy. You look at the area. Everyone's going to need you at some point. Guaranteed so concentrate on that area, that person, that task, that point...complete it and then you can move to the next. In concentration, there's that act of...action. There's the action instead of sitting and worrying about what's not being done. For every action that is taken there is outcome. There can't be outcome with sitting in a mindset of just feeling overwhelmed.

K: This is sort of what the card reading was about this week.

B: I think it's an important concept.

K: The whole concept of volunteering was important to you. If someone is going into volunteering how do they need to approach it?

B: It's about releasing that idea of what's in it for me because when you get rid of that and just give of yourself...you get so much back. People who volunteer don't usually ask what do I get in return. They just don't. They know that it's the satisfaction of the act and not the kickback or the return. People do it all the time. They just don't realize it.

K: Really?

B: Oh yeah. Absolutely. Volunteering is just an offer of yourself in any way that happens. It's not only time.

K: That's cool. I didn't think of it like that.

B: This is cool. Thanks Kim. It's nice to actually have coffee with someone again to just sit and talk. I enjoy it. I really do.

K: Don't you sit and talk...where ever it is you are? Heaven I guess?

B: Yeah. Sure. Happens all the time but...I don't know. It's different in a cool way. It's like calling a person up and just saying, I'll meet you for coffee at this place in an hour and you meet there and you just visit using words and voices and...I put myself here as a human and it's just a nice connection. It's great.

K: It is great, isn't it? Thank you Cole. I still like to call you Benjamin though.

B: What's in a name?

K: A lot, apparently.

B: (smiles and nods) It sort of makes the person.

K: Cole's cool.

B: I always considered myself to be...cool.

K: Oh please. You're ice.

B: That's cold.

K: You could be cold. I don't know you that well but I have a feeling I'm about to get to know you better the way you've been hanging around.

B: (laughs) I was told to be pushy a little bit.

K: But that just scares people away. It's like...oooooo too needy.

B: (laughs) Oh no. Last time I listen to that advice.

K: I don't think Spirits can get needy or desperate though.

B: Well, I guess it's what you allow, right?

K: Yeah. Okay, handsome. I gotta run. I'll see you later okay?

B: Okay. I'll see you. Take care, Kim.

K: Take care. Love you.

B: Love you.

Conversations With Roger Rodas – Giving

Friends dropping by left right and center lately. Love Roger.

R: Hey hey. I'm in. (clapping hands and rubbing them together)

K: You are Roger. How are you?

R: So well. So well. How are you?

K: I'm good.

R: Excellent. So, what's happenin' in your neck of the woods?

K: Same ol' stuff. I cannot report on anything too exciting.

R: Well, that could change.

K: That could change. You were asking me this morning if you could come in and do a channel but I am fresh out of topics that we could talk about.

R: Hhhmmm. I guess we'll have to put our heads together to figure it out.

K: That might be a good idea. I was thinking about disappointment or giving.

R: Giving's good. I think people get a hell of a lot of pleasure out of getting stuff or they get but aren't completely satisfied with what's on the table so they try to get more. I mean...it's cool. It's great to receive but in that act of receiving, there's always a certain amount of give, you know?

K: Oh yeah. What's that saying? Better to give than to receive?

R: I mean, there's some of that. I wouldn't say it's necessarily better to give than to receive because it's that two way street, right? It's that...exchange. That saying, I think it's coming from a place that we live in a world that's really based on a gimme mentality and we don't see that give so much so the saying's comin' out of that imbalance.

K: Do you think that there's balance coming in regards to that?

R: Mmmm. Depends on who you talk to right? It depends who's in that frame of mind to give more than to receive more. I mean, you were listening to the radio one day and buddy had five televisions.

K: I'm sure you had your share of televisions Roger. Come on now.

R: Sure, but to have that bird's eye view (now) of the imbalance between people then it gets bigger and you get into countries or States or...I guess for you it would be Provinces. You just see that and it's creating...I guess it creates these feelings of lack and comparing with other people.

K: Kind of a keeping up with the Joneses kind of mentality?

R: Yeah. Absolutely. I have nothin' against that. I was part of that a little bit.

K: But you had an urge to give and I think we discussed it on a previous talk about how much you wanted to give back...especially because of your roots.

R: The poverty...sometimes it hits home and I was in a position where I could freely give what I could. I did have a nest egg and I was lucky enough to have a little cash in the bank but I was also good at the energy of money and I knew where this portion had to flow and where that portion had to be stashed. I was good at kind of seeing that flow or feelin' that flow of what money could be used for and what it couldn't at that moment in that time.

K: I just saw you as a banker in like 1910 or something...older times. Were you a banker back then?

R: I was. I was. I took that knowledge with me...you know, I had a knack for those things and it payed off because I respected that and the decisions that were built around that. I also was able to have a little fun with what I had, what I could do with it and it wasn't that I was playing all the time but I did have likes and I wanted to enjoy that. I put myself in a spot where I could enjoy life while still trying to contribute to something greater than what was right in front of me.

K: Yes. What a great outlook. Where does it get skewed?

R: That's a good question and I think it's different for every individual. I think it has a lot to do with upbringing. I mean, sometimes you'll get this guy or that girl who grew up with nothing and so any penny that they make is pinched and tossed into a safe where nothing can touch it...not even them. But then you get the rescuers... you know...that have a little cash and can't help but give it, leaving them with nothing. There's extremes and I think with money or give and take....there's gotta be a balance where everyone is getting what they need...maybe a little of what they want and there's nothing sayin' you're better because you have lots without noticing that, yeah, I have lots but look what I'm doin' with what I have.

K: Not that you have to defend yourself with what you spend or how you spend it. With what you get or with what you receive.

R: No. So many people feel they have to defend their history back to their great grandparents just so they feel okay with what they have now compared to what was back then. I think there is some judgement based on that so called new money because those guys who have the new money didn't work for it and it needs to be with someone that worked extremely hard. That term has to go. Money doesn't go to someone who's more deserving and money doesn't lack with people who don't work extremely hard. We have to come out of this idea that it has to be one way or the other and so many people are deserving of blessings. So many people deserve to receive and to receive is to give back. It's always important to give back.

K: Do you think when someone says prosperity is coming, like if someone was getting their cards read and the psychic said they see so much prosperity coming your way...is that always money?

R: (shakes head no) It's not. That prosperity could be what that person needs the most so if they're in need of some clothes...that prosperity could be clothes or if they need their car fixed...that prosperity is someone coming to fix their car. The focus is on the money though and I get it. I was there. There is a lot of focus on money and how it runs this show but it doesn't have to run the show. It just needs to be respected more for what this energy...this money can do.

K You're like racing in front of my eyes right now. (his orb) You're fast.

R: I just zip by. Look out. Betcha can't see me 'cause I'm flyin' by.

K: Racer boy.

R: The one and only.

I'm laughing because I just see him zip this way and that and he's not in one place as energy but as he sits with me, he's just laid back. Very cool.

K: How does one be open to giving? Let's say they feel they lack? What can they give to build that two way street?

R: The definition of lack isn't just on the money thing. So why do you feel lack? Ask yourself that. What is creating lack in your life and will money fix that. Sometimes it will and sometimes it won't but a person doesn't have nothing. You have something to give so look at that lack and ask yourself what can I give to receive that which I feel I lack. Even if you have nothing...even the littlest bit. If someone's asking you to love them but you feel a lack of it yourself...why is that and even in the smallest of gestures, could you see that you are still loved, only to give a little of that part of yourself to that other person and then you start building that two way street. It's an exchange and it builds and builds upon itself.

K: Okay. You have nothing. You have no change to spare but you have...I don't know...old clothes you need to give away.

R: Donate them. Clear the way by giving something you don't need or are not using and then you leave it open to receive new things that you would put to greater use and then that old stuff will be put to greater use with someone that needs a shirt on their backs or a blanket on their bed. It's still creating that exchange. Then, if you need new clothes and you gave the old to someone in need, those empty spaces are now ready for what you feel you need and it just keeps going from there.

K: So the mentality of giving first before being able to receive.

R: Would be a cool place to start.

K: That's so...interesting the feel of that. Like, when I speak that out loud the difference is pretty...it shifts that perspective. To give first to receive and not receive to be able to give. It's like that give to receive is kind of that shot gun in a race. It starts it off and creates momentum.

R: Exactly.

K: Very cool. I never looked at it that way before.

R: Even if you think you have nothing...you have something and it's not this idea that you have to give all of yourself. That's just abuse and lacking self-respect. You have to give to you but there's always room for sharing.

K: Energetically speaking, I've heard the saying give to you first before others.

R: It's like...then you're full up. Tank is full...it's spilling over so then you have more to offer to others. People think that it's selfish to give to yourself but why is it selfish to provide for you first, no matter what it looks like. It's not greed. It's self-respect to be able to respect others, and the world around you.

K: Let's talk about giving of yourself and yet...it comes with that proverbial price tag.

R: But then it's not really giving if you're expecting that something has to be returned. We're talking giving without expectation. Giving is giving and that means just doin' it out of the kindness of your heart or because it feels good to be able to provide a little bit to someone who can't give that to themselves. Giving while expecting that there will be some sort of payback...that's still trying to receive and yes we're trying to open this two way thing but giving just with that mentality that you will definitely receive some sort of payback...it's not the same. It doesn't have that same feel to it, you know?

K: Absolutely. I understand that. But as an energy exchange. I mean, I started needing that exchange to be able to give.

R: You giving, Kim, was contingent on your energy. If you were feeling depleted because you were getting nothing back...it's still about filling your cup so you are able to come from a full place and not one that is being ignored or getting low on steam. There are some that just want to give to the full extent and don't want to expect because they think that expectations will just make them suffer, right? But you have to fill your own tank first. Those oxygen masks that come down when the plane's in trouble. They tell you, even with kids right, they say put your mask on first because then you're alive to continue to be helpful. Make sense?

K: Complete sense. I'm just asking all the questions so all views are seen.

R: Which is cool. That kind of stuff is appreciated. It's not like we're sittin' here and trying to put someone in a category. It's just maintaining that way of thinking that yeah, it's nice to receive. It's nice to get but what feeds getting a little something is giving a little something when you know you have it to give.

K: Disappointment?

R: A lot of the time, nothin' works 100%.

K: Should we, then, settle?

R: Nah. Never settle. Always keep workin' towards that goal. I think disappointment is just another word for keep trying. Keep going. If it's not something you want then there is something better and quitting isn't going to get you to that point of receiving that goal or that desire. But doin' it while steppin' on others isn't cool either and maybe if a person did a little of that...maybe they won't get as far as maybe they were planning because they have some stuff to clean up before progressing further.

K: I guess disappointment would have something to do with expectations.

R: It always does so if you're constantly being disappointed, what are you expecting? Are you expecting completely smooth sailing all the way around or are you of the mind that things may have to change and shift while on that journey towards whatever it is that you want to receive. As life changes, the people in that life change and there has to be some give and take. This is about that phrase you always say...about working with your circumstances, right? It's working with life. It's working with what God gave you in this life to create more or better for you but appreciating the daily grind because it's part of that journey that's going to get you where you wanna get.

K: Super awesome. Roger, you're so smart.

R: (smiles) Thanks. I'm just talking.

K: Well, you're making a lot of sense.

R: I appreciate that.

K: Do you still, now that you're spirit, do you still value giving and receiving?

R: I see how it works in other ways. I see it in...like ways of legacy. What part of you are you leaving to the world that you started that will continue to ripple or will continue to do good in your physical absence. I see it more like...a thought or a memory that makes someone smile...I see that being returned to those over here and that is given to them to make them grow and expand with just that pure sense of, Hey, I was loved and I was cared for and look at what that gives to me. I'm not forgotten and they remember me with smiles and that's addicting and overwhelming and I'm thriving because of what I started and others are continuing in my memory. This kind of thing makes a person like me...continue and an opportunity to receive is also an opportunity to give back even more. Even if it's not seen or heard but maybe felt...just a little bit. I can give that back.

K: Thank you. I really believe that the more we can remember or the more we can still include a person after they have died...even if it's just with good memories...it just continues to build and live those relationships that we thought were lost but are really still there...just different. I don't know if I'm making sense. I just try...my job is to try and change that idea that losing someone may have felt like an ending but it's just still continuing on these different levels. And I don't even think it has to do with awareness or seeing but just knowing and feeling that what was is never completely gone. It's very important to me.

R: I get it and so do a lot of people. Not everyone can understand that. Not everyone wants to. It's just that way and we can't pressure people into believing that we're still around and we're still receiving love and giving it. But we'll keep tryin'. For sure you can bet on that.

K: Thanks Roger. This was great. I'm glad we could do this today.

R: Kim, welcome to the family.

K: That means a lot to me, Roger. Stay cool okay.

R: Always am. You can't get cooler than this.

K: Should I really continue this...it could get ugly.

R: (laughing) I'm not one to back down from a friendly dig or two.

K: Then we will leave it and say see you soon. Thanks Roger.

R: Love you, Kim. Thanks for taking care of us.

K: Please. It's the other way around. See ya.

R: Bye.

K: Oh, how's Elvis?

R: (big grin) Still dead.

K: U da best. I'll never forget that.

R: See ya.

Conversations with Spirit Guide Simon – Spiritual Healing Modalities

Trying to nap with a racing mind and Simon dropped in. Transcribing the chat from my voice recorder.

S: What is going on here?

Sees me in bed.

K: Contemplation.

S: Hhhmmm. Sounds...dangerous. (smiles)

K: Why does it sound dangerous?

S: Well, your contemplation changes worlds and shifts timelines. You are not your everyday thinker.

K: I guess not.

S: Would you care for some company?

K: I would love some company.

S: Very well. Move over.

Moving over and he reclines beside me.

S: You know, when you come home to me or Paul or Ariel or Michael...in those first moments you arrive, you unload thoughts.

K: Thoughts of what?

S: (turns head to look at me) Of everything you've absorbed from the world around you that leaves you feeling perplexed.

K: Is that why my dreams tend to get crazy? Is that when I unload?

S: Yes. So, what, My Love, do you contemplate now?

K: Spiritual healing modalities.

S: Rather large topic.

K: A part of me feels like it's the in thing these days without understanding the importance of it. It's just something to try like a Band-Aid on a gushing wound. Another part of me feels it lacks understanding of what it can liberate or clear but that whole process can create frustrations or mourning or sadness that seems to come out of nowhere and then these healing modalities are less understood because they are assumed to have made things worse.

S: You feel people are looking for the quick fix to their soul's path or purpose.

K: Sort of. Maybe disregarding the journey for the sake of a destination believing they can skip all those steps that actually liberate instead of continue to bury.

S: Liberation...at times...means there's been a war. People dislike the fight.

K: Does it always have to be a fight with the soul to feel liberated?

S: Some are told they must fight some sort of darkness to be liberated. They must pierce the heart of it to allow the light to shine through. This is done by fearing its cause. There is shadow in light and there is light in shadow. One cannot be liberated whilst another is put to death. This is not the human being. The human contains both. The fight of the shadow is, in actuality, disregarding its importance of the whole. It is not the light that is to be liberated for the light is so. It is the darkness but to liberate the darkness is to love it back to wholeness as the part of light it is.

K: The healing modalities of the spirit seem to concentrate on healing a broken love when I don't feel that love is broken.

S: Love is never broken. Love is what is used as the base of healing. But love never picks and chooses what to heal or accept. It simply loves...everything.

K: So as these healing modalities bring to the surface that stuff that we might consider dark or fear or hate...how can a person love that to liberate it. Is it pity?

S: No, Dearest. It is not pity.

K: Matt Kahn says love what arises and that's liberation...to me.

S: He is...understanding.

K: But to love what arises, I feel one must be completely in love with themselves because all that arises is part of the whole that is them...that is us.

S: Yes.

K: And in these healing modalities that people go to...it's almost like a fight or a war with what arises to squash it back down than to love it and liberate it.

S: But it also take courage...strength to truly see. One fears those parts of them that are labelled as darkness. When...one looks with the eyes of God, it is easily recognized for what it is. Fear...a child neglected and cursed. When the darkness or the shadow presents itself as large and overwhelming, could one not look at it as a shadow puppet that a child might form, from their bed, as a way to amuse themselves before falling asleep.

K: You're comparing shadow or darkness to a child making shadow puppets?

S: But at the heart of it, My Love, it is not as large or overwhelming as one would believe.

K: To Spirit, maybe not, but to a human it can be very overwhelming.

S: Yes. I do not deny that it can feel, at times, impossible. When a parent comes into the room of the child and turns on the light....do they see the overwhelming shadow or do they see a child in a large bed denying their need for rest.

K: So to illuminate that which we believe to be overwhelming, we actually see the truth of it.

S: Does a parent disregard, hate, or ignore the child that plays with the shadow or does the parent love them, kiss them one last time, tucks them in and tells them to sleep. The child is spoken to, re-assured, loved...all these things to soothe them into the night. Master Kahn is correct when he states love what arises. Love it and return it to its slumber.

K: So when putting that in the context of healing?

S: A practitioner of spiritual healing is required to share the importance of compassion and love to all facets and aspects of the human being. Not only the beautiful and the bright but also the...what one may consider the monsters. If everything is created by the One Source, why, then, can it not be loved the same?

K: Because some of those parts of the whole seem unforgivable.

S: And is not everything forgiven? Why must people wait until death to understand the value of forgiveness?

K: Probably because one might feel that forgiving darkness or forgiving monsters, we might be losing a part of ourselves or admitting defeat for a cause we might not have known we were fighting for. Only fighting against.

S: Fighting against oneself is a product of refusing to understand the duality of the human being.

K: If, through healing, we actually sat ourselves down or looked in the mirror and called out behaviors or feelings that we hate or fear about ourselves and just loved us for who we are anyway...would this help in that healing?

S: Does the child not sleep after it's been reassured of its place in the home even when the lights have been turned off?

K: Still a pretty simplistic way of looking at it when seeing what's been going on in the world.

S: If one has not begun loving what arises on a personal basis, they will be unable to love what arises on a global scale. It begins with the single human being then spreads to the family unit, the friends, the work place, the city, the province, the country and then, as Paul would say, (grins) goes worldwide.

K: So we, as lightworkers, are so busy looking at the bigger picture that we neglect our personal scribbles.

S: The angels or the lightworkers of this planet are so caught up in assisting outside of themselves when the healing begins with the Self. Only then will the flame spread.

K: Purging.

S: Not always.

K: How are the spiritual healing modalities helping the cause?

S: To simply answer...to liberate the darkness, the fear, the unwanted to actually be forgiven and loved.

K: Love is starting to sound like a cliché.

S: (laughs) Yes.

K: Do the practitioners understand that there is a need for continued support in these areas? I spoke about it in the card reading a little.

S: No. Not all of them do and those that are not aware of the continued support are not entirely knowledgeable in that which they practice.

K: Is there a need for a...continuing education in the spiritual healing modalities.

S: Yes. It is of great importance. Modalities evolve just as the Soul does. A practitioner must be aware of the evolving Soul and all that comes with this. Energy shifts and does so within the human. What worked yesterday...may not work today and this is why there is a requirement for continued support. You are correct in your feelings that something is missing in this puzzle.

K: I've been feeling it for a while.

S: Why have you waited to voice your concern?

K: Because maybe it's not my place to voice it.

S: Then why do you work in the capacity that you do? (takes my hand and squeezes it)

K: That's a loaded question.

S: It is because you cannot sit back and watch any longer.

K: That's part of it.

S: I would stress to the practitioner, the healer, the coach...I would stress the question of why. Why do you do the work you choose to do? Yes, part of it is popularity...something very new and exciting to try but the new is being uncovered to be used for a specific purpose. It is not fame. It is not fortune. It is not to prefer one aspect of a human over another. The new healer must be knowledgeable in vulnerability, in intimacy, in truth and in compassion for the whole. This they must practice on the Self before doing so with another individual or else it is compared to an empty promise. One does not love one part of God while disregarding the rest. The human being is a part of the Whole; That which is called God. It is to be loved wholly and completely and in this, there is liberation and health in all ways. When the healer understands this and uses it as their modality then there will be spiritual, emotional, mental and physical health.

K: Sometimes I just feel like Spirit or Souls or Love or whatever...all that gets lost in translation.

S: So...(lies back on a pillow) will you translate it?

K: (smiling) Only for you, Simon. Only for you.

S: (closes eyes) Good. Some fail to understand me.

K: Thanks Simon.

S: Contemplation settled for the moment?

K: Only a moment.

S: (cracks an eye open) That's all that matters.

Conversations with Chris Cornell – 1st Meet Up

I have to be honest with you guys. Sometimes I wonder why I continue to do these things. To have a person come in after death can be unnerving because of the way they died and for me, it's the outside world that makes me hesitant to engage with these Spirits when they are completely open to sharing themselves with me. I didn't grow up listening to his music. I was a pop girl who enjoyed UK boy bands. So when my friend Shelli told me this guy died and she was sad about it because she listened to his stuff and he had an amazing voice I had no clue who she was talking about. I only assumed it was the man that was already coming to me in my house with those stunning eyes that were so deep they were pools of water. His stare is significantly endearing. I think the only way I pull these off, sometimes, is because I have friends in Spirit that support it. Today we were in Paul's place. Before this talk began we were nagging each other about sofas and how I needed to get better ones. Don't ask. It's his place. Chris found this amusing and from that point on, the atmosphere became a lot lighter for me; the ice was broken. As much as I was hesitant to do this because of the circumstances around his death, I found him to be very grounded. Very down to earth. Very much willing to talk but yet had his boundaries which weren't many. He explained things from his Spiritual perspective and not the perspective of some outside world run by media and rumor. I respected that. Here is my conversation with Chris Cornell...

K: Hello?

C: Hi. Hey.

K: I'm...I'm kind of nervous about this one.

C: Oh yeah?

K: Yeah. I'm sorry I don't have any idea who you were or your music so I don't have much to go on with this.

C: That's kinda the point.

K: Okay. You've...so I've read and heard...you've been kind of making the rounds with fans in ways that really touch them. Why is that?

C: It's really important to me, for those of them that think of me and send me love, that I return that in some way. I had some really cool people listen to me and kind of give me the time of day so...as sucky as the circumstances were about all that went down, it was never because I didn't appreciate everyone that supported me and that really just includes...everyone.

K: What was that like...to feel that much support and love from fans even if this threw them a curve ball. No one saw this coming.

C: It's pretty humbling, to be honest. It was humbling for me when I heard them cheer but this...being here and really understanding honor...it was almost too much (wipes hands on his jeans and chuckles a little) because it's pure and it's raw and it's everything that I couldn't grasp or feel when I was on that stage or when I was just kickin' back at home.

K: I hear that from Spirit. That they just don't realize the extent of feeling or how much love there really was for them. I often wonder if they knew that, especially in regards to suicide, if they would reconsider their actions.

C: For me...(shakes head) there's no point thinking that way. What's it gonna do?

K: True. It was just a thought.

C: There's just no comparison and if someone takes their own life feeling like no one loves them or they're completely alone then I'm sure there would be a little bit of that. But then again, with the whole 'get it' thing you just get it. You get the why's and the how comes so I can't really see that people would sit and stew over the fact that they took their life but maybe they shouldn't have because now they know how much they were cared for. Innately we know. It's just that amount of suffering kind of blinds us to that.

K: You're showing me survival mode.

C: Completely. I would say it's...when you get to a point of just surviving there's a lot you choose not to see.

K: Interesting.

C: I don't speak for everyone and I never could because each situation is different and you can't compare them at all.

K: But at the core there's deep sadness.

C: At the core...

K: So let's talk about you for a little bit then.

C: Sure.

K: I don't get into details. So if people need the details, I'm really not the one to give that to them because I'm never really interested in those. You can show me and I'll tell but that's just a personal preference of mine.

C: Cool.

K: But I do have to ask, did you take you own life?

C: I did.

K: Was it intentional?

C: Mechanically, I knew what I was doing. Mentally...I didn't. Emotionally I did.

K: Way to break it down. So explain that.

C: Mechanically, I knew what I was doing when I choked myself out.

K: Okay.

C: It was...detached movement. I just went through the movements. It was automatic.

K: Okay.

C: Mentally I was struggling with that side of me that was...'Chris man. What are you doing. Wake up. You're going too far.'

K: But that voice wasn't loud enough.

C: No. I knew it was there. I could be pretty practical and sane when I wanted to.

K: Sure.

C: I didn't want to.

K: Were you sober?

C: (shakes head) No. I wasn't sober.

K: Prescription or otherwise?

C: Prescription.

K: There's a lot of conspiracy surrounding what you were doing when you were choking yourself out. Want to get into that?

C: Nope.

K: Thanks. I'm kind of relieved.

C: It's not that I don't want to be honest. I just don't want to perpetuate rumor. I still have family that are coping and rumor does nothing but add confusion when you don't have concrete answers.

K: Do they? (family)

C: (nods) As much as they can get.

K: Let's talk emotionally.

C: Man...I was tired. I was...I felt that my time was running out. I felt like I was...I compared myself a lot and saw all these young people kind of swooping in and I was old and I thought...whose gonna even care. Why am I up here pouring my heart out in these songs and my time is running out.

K: You can't be serious.

C: I'm totally serious.

K: Do you realize that it was simply not true?

C: Yeah. I do. (rubs his lip with his finger in thought) I do.

K: What was that all about?

C: Comparing with others. I had my own style. I had my own voice but for some reason it got to the point where it was becoming redundant for me. It was the same night over and over again and I got disillusioned with it all.

K: How long had you been feeling this way?

C: I was struggling with these feelings for...a few years.

K: How did it all come together at that moment?

C: (snaps his fingers) Instantly. One moment I felt like I could handle it. I'd take something to help me chill out and I could handle it. And then I just kind of went numb. Took a couple more pills thinking that they weren't working anymore and it made that voice in me, that wanted out, take over.

K: If you hadn't taken those extra pills...would you still be with us now.

C: Yeah. I think I would have gotten help at least. That mental part would have been louder.

K: It's so interesting that you can break it down in those three ways. I've heard that at the moment you know that you going to go ahead and end it...that you kind of become detached and your movements happen as if it's a dream. Did you have any of that?

C: Yeah. I did. But yet...in that whole process...I was trying to feel. I wanted to feel because I was having trouble feeling anymore and that's who I was. I felt a lot. That's where the music lived. It was in my feeling. That's where my voice was. It was in my feeling. So in trying to feel more and fight being numb...it's hard to describe but I'm showing you.

K: Yes you certainly are. I feel a little bit frantic...like looking for something that you lost and it was so important and you wouldn't be able to live without it.

C: Exactly like that.

K: Let's talk about life.

C: Better.

K: Let's talk about your enjoyment of creating the music and using your beautiful voice as an instrument. Man. My friend Shelli showed me your version of Ave Maria. Wow. Brilliant.

C: Thank you.

K: It sounded like you could really connect to what you were singing. Some people just sing the notes but you had passion behind it.

C: Yeah.

K: Did the music you sang ever bring you to tears.

C: Oh yeah. Definitely.

K: Did you ever allow them to flow?

C: No.

K: Not even in private?

C: If I felt the tears come that was only an invitation to sing more. To reach more levels and challenge myself more because when the tears came that was the moment that I could. And when I knew I could sing in those ways it just was like coming home to me.

K: You're showing me in Detroit that you were straining.

C: Yeah. Like I said, I lost the feeling and I begged for it to come back but I couldn't find it.

K: Was that just a mental thing?

C: No. It was me becoming numb.

K: Wow. In general would you say that you were happy in other areas of your life?

C: Very much but I felt that my professional and creative...that lack feeling was kind of overflowing into that. I wanted to be there 100% for my family but I didn't believe that I was doing a bang up job. Just because if I couldn't do the music, and the music and performing was a very large part of who I was, how was I going to be the best I could be...father or husband...in those ways. It was all connected to me. My self-worth was in what I was doing and that fed other areas of my life.

K: So if your self-worth was declining in regards to your music you felt it bleed over to other areas which only added to that.

C: Yes.

K: But you innately knew that you were adored by your family.

C: I had no doubt about that ever.

K: Even in the times of drama? You were talking to me about drama this morning.

C: Even in the dramas of the everyday personal life, I had no doubt that I was loved.

K: You are very complex.

C: Thank you. (shuffles in his seat smiling)

K: Your mind must have been a constant puzzle that you could only solve.

C: Yeah. I didn't let that show too much.

K: Interesting. How's things over there?

C: It's...(chuckling) nothing that I ever expected.

K: What did you expect?

C: I'm not sure. It changed all the time.

K: What's it like living without that ego consciousness?

C: Quiet. (nods) Very quiet.

K: Unnerving quiet or a good quiet?

C: So quiet I can hear the softest note on a guitar and be able to sing to it.

K: Wow. How's your feeling now?

C: Incredible. I mean...that's all that's here now. What I tried so hard to get back I had it. It's that...sometimes that life can just swallow it whole, you know?

K: Yes. I see that.

C: I'm still...I mean, I crossed over pretty quickly but I'm bouncing back and forth right now just because I need to do that for those that weren't expecting this.

K: Obviously. Like I said, I've heard and read stories about you coming in for visits. Was that something you had to re-learn?

C: Re-learn?

K: Like moving your energy and giving signs that your around. Entering people's thoughts?

C: Not really. I mean...I was shown of course but...I was reminded and I picked it up because I needed to come back and forth just to let people know I was okay. I am okay.

K: What's the most interesting thing you've realized with being back?

C: Wow. That's a loaded question.

K: I know.

C: Uh...I'm still me. That a person can be put back together completely and be...healed is such a cliché kind of word but it's true and that love that you wanted to feel...that emotion that you needed to feel...all that feeling is restored even more so and you're able to go to these people that were left to wonder about you and you can show yourself as not suffering but completely fine.

K: At the same time and as much as I can't put myself into those shoes...that doesn't necessarily give the okay to just do that. To just take your life.

C: I don't condone my actions. I forgive them but I don't condone them. I don't necessarily think that you have to go to those extremes to find help. I don't think you can ever believe that your this island on earth that no one can get to but that's the mentality and rarely talked about.

K: Yeah.

C: Seeing how many people offer themselves to help those that need support or that need an ear to listen to them...there's so many willing to put themselves out there for those reasons and humanity isn't as fucked up as people seem to think it is. There's people out there, seemingly hidden away, that can turn this shit around for people. I hope that the awareness of these angels spreads so they can be found and show people that there is support and ways out of the end of the line. The line continues.

K: Did you see that for yourself. That it did continue?

C: No. I have the mentality that those coulds and maybe's...if it's done it's done and now there's a moment of regrouping and moving forward in a different way.

K: I had a work colleague that recently took her own life and when she came to me she seemed so...friggin' happy. The sparkle was back in her eyes. It wasn't forced.

C: Yeah. You get that spark back but it's not impossible to get it back in life.

K: You have a place you call home there?

C: Workin' on it.

K: Yeah?

C: This is a nice place. (looking around the room he's in)

K: It is. He did good.

C: The views are amazing. They really are.

P: I still need new sofas.

K: Then get the new sofas and stop making it an issue. It's been since 4:00 Paul. I don't understand why this is an issue.

P: It's not. I just like picking on you.

C: (laughing) It's like I was saying earlier. That kind of relationship makes this instantly easier for me. It's like a normalcy.

P: Yeah. We keep it pretty real in the Walker house for sure.

K: Okay. Anything else Chris? Anything you want to talk about?

C: I think I'll just hang out for a bit.

K: Do you feel like there's peace coming...for your family. I know your wife wants to see reports before getting closure with what happened but I feel like that's even happening with your fans too.

C: There's not much closure with these things in the immediate future but there will be. Time...that definition of time...there's an amount of closure that comes and I'll be there for anyone that needs me to close the rest. I think things like this...where there are people that can kind of communicate with us in any way is really helpful. I didn't think much about these things before but I can see how helpful it can be to those who mourn the loss of someone. It's a pretty cool gig.

K: It is. It really is. Even if it's not understood I think there's a sense of peace that comes with talking to people about Spirit and about death and about all these things even if there's some doubt...there's always a calming effect and that's on purpose. That's where you guys come in...you guys provide that.

C: I get it. Really. It's cool.

K: Great. Thanks Chris. Sorry this took a little time. I know you've been waiting around for a bit.

C: Yeah. I was anxious. It was good to find you and meet you.

K: Same for me. I'll feel you later. Sing to me anytime. (Has been singing the only song I know of his to let me know he's around)

C: The acoustics from here will knock it out of the park.

K: I believe it. Take care Chris.

C: See you.

I'm pulling out of the room that needs new sofas leaving two men to their own devices. I have a feeling they'll be okay.

Conversations with Cory Monteith - Addiction

K: Hey Cory.

C: Hey Kim. How's things?

K: I'm good. How are you?

C: Things are good. Thanks for seeing me. I wasn't sure if I was going to be heard. That's great. Maybe I'll knock next time.

K: Knocking would be better but all is good.

C: I was kind of hoping that I could add something to the Youth Page.

K: It would be insulting if you didn't. What would you like to talk about?

C: I was thinking that if I told a little about my story, I could kind of reach out and offer some sort of support with these things because I played the game of the addict and maybe I could just bring to light some of the struggles with that in a small way.

K: I don't mind sharing.

C: You know, you heard that there's this...culture out there where these...the younger crowd feel like they need this extra thing or this extra feeling to feel like their being creative or feel like they can live the way they want to. They zero in on this party scene and get introduced to things that supposedly make them feel more alive or more energetic when really it's just adding to that theme of using something to escape.

K: Why don't you tell people here, that read this, how you died.

C: I overdosed. I killed myself slowly with addiction. I was a heroin addict. I liked ecstasy. I liked the stuff that was fast and worked faster.

K: When did it all start for you?

C: Oh, I was young I was, like 15; maybe even a little younger.

K: Did you have an addictive personality or did you use the drugs to hide from something in your life that wasn't what you liked?

C: A little of both I guess. You know, when you go down that road and live in that world...there's so many things you can use as an excuse as to why and what and how but ultimately the excuses don't matter. It's just a cycle and one that I didn't want to quit.

K: Did you go into rehab and stuff like that.

C: Yeah. I went a few times.

K: Do you think it was a strength or confidence thing or why do you think you always went back to the drugs?

K: Did you look at what you were trying to hide from or did you ever search, within yourself, what you were trying to cover up?

C: Pain. And I didn't even realize I was carrying so much pain.

K: Did you think that it (drugs) was giving you some sort of freedom?

C: Yeah. I thought that if I just went and took a hit and had a moment of ecstasy that whatever thought I was suffering from or whatever feeling I was trying to ignore that it would be better and it would pass but it never passed. It was always there. And I couldn't even give you an example. I could give the excuse that my family was never there for me or that I had no real friends or I didn't feel cool enough but those were all lies that I told myself because I was really supported in my life as Cory it's just that I never cared to see it.

K: You had some very cool experiences with what you did in Glee. For a time, did it (the show) take the edge off any sort of pain or emotion that you were trying to ignore?

C: Yeah. For a while but my personality was such that I would even use that huge big awesome experience in my life as an excuse to use.

K: So what would you say to people who are thinking of starting to use the drugs or who continuously try a drug or get into the mentality that just one more hit won't do anything?

C: The mentality of an addict...it's always so different and it's always based on excuses for what they can't face or what they can't see themselves out of or through. To admit that you've taken drugs and that you can't get off of them...people feel shame. They feel stupid that they even started and you carry that with you as a secret and pretty soon, you don't feel like you can even go to your closest friend because the perception is that you'll just be judged or given shit when, in reality, you just need someone to tell you that you'll be okay and I'm going to help you through this. It's not an easy thing to support an addict because not every clean person can see the way we see life. It's easy to pat someone on the head and console but in the darkest hour, we need more than a pat on the head or a group session. We need somewhere to feel safe to crumble into a million pieces without the drug and look at each of those pieces before we can become whole again. It's a huge process.

K: Do you think those who do the drugs or drink the alcohol, they think that they need it to be who they really are because without it...it makes them braver?

C: Oh yeah. It's kind of like a costume they put on that tells the world, this is who I really am but I can't be that without the courage of my cape of chemicals. Yeah. You see artists who feel that they can't create without the help of something that really, in truth, makes a person numb. You see athletes who feel they can't perform at their best without sneaking something that they think will make them stronger or faster. They don't see and I didn't see that it's really an easy and dangerous way out of facing any sort of creative or athletic endeavor.

K: Yeah. I mean, I've done the booze, heavily. I've smoked the pot. I've been in those situations where I probably put myself in positions that I maybe wouldn't have come out of if I didn't have people with me. But I felt that I needed that to be cool or be someone that people would look at. I drank a lot when I started writing because I had this idea that my imagination would be ten times better if I just relaxed. It got old. I also had people around me that showed me the image of what alcohol and pills could do to a body. I had the mind to put two and two together and I didn't like what I saw.

C: And that's what I didn't like to see. I didn't like to see the effect of what I was doing to myself so I had a lot of denial.

K: Were there times that you ever came out of that denial?

C: Sometimes. When I found that love with Lea, that really helped me come out of it for a while. The cast that I worked with really laid it out for me with some tough love that I didn't like to hear but I needed to hear. It shook me up enough to get help and I got help and it lasted for a while.

K: Until the night at the hotel.

C: Until the night at the hotel. Right.

K: Just one more time.

C: I thought just one more time and that was it but the one last time killed me. I realize, now, that it wasn't only the drug that took my life but it was my ignorance to the decisions and choices that I was making that added to that big time. It added to my death. I kind of want to make those kids and young people, you know...there's consequences to trying or to experimenting and it doesn't make people freer and it doesn't make them stronger. It's a jail and the judge is you. There's so much of this need to cover or try to find part of yourself in something that is so dangerous I feel like there's this air of....people feeling lost. People feel like they're not being heard or people just want to have a ton of fun all at once and screw life because I'm just here to live my life and live it any way I want to and I wanna have fun. People, there are more ways to have fun and be alive than hiding some part of yourself behind a needle or a smoke.

K: Do you think there's enough help for addicts, especially youth?

C: No. There's not enough and you can see that it's a disease that's spreading fast. You know, there's people that want to come off the drugs and the alcohol and they talk to their parents or they talk to their teachers and they support this healing 100% but to get the medical help they need it's either full up or too expensive and so the addict is in their own hands or the hands of their families but they don't have any clue what coming down from highs and addictions is like and so it breaks these relationships apart. There needs to be more professional help for these people. Even the families who are trying to be a support system for the addicts...they need support themselves but when you're on a waiting list, that wait sometimes could mean life or death.

K: So for the readers, what did you want to stress?

C: That you're not alone in your battle and that, yeah, you made some choices but it's never too late to come back from that and start now. Start to realize that you are so much more than what you put into your body that you feel you need. That you don't need that to create the life you want and you don't need that to have fun. If someone had told me that I was so much more than what I was creating for myself and actually showed me an example...I think I would have benefited from that.

K: What kind of example though?

C: I think it's really important that instead of showing high school or college students a movie on don't do drugs or don't drink alcohol, show them. Show people on the streets. Go take the class to a rehab facility and talk to these people who are recovering addicts. No work book or in-class movie or even a commercial on television is going to get through to these kids or these college students these days. It has to be seen and felt on the same level as someone who is in recovery or someone who is on the streets. There can't be just a label. There's gotta be proof that this is out there and this is what it looks like on all levels.

K: So you want students, like junior high or high school or even college, to see it with their own eyes and hear it with their ears from someone, maybe their age or whatever who are going through it themselves.

C: Absolutely. You know, there's a difference between someone saying don't do it than someone saying hey, look at this, hear me out, this is my story...don't do it.

K: So do you think addicts could be more of a voice even if they're still in the throes of their addictions?

C: I think it would be eye opening for users to be more vocal that yes, they do have an addiction and they want to come out of it but this is the truth of it...it's hard. I think that they could do a lot of good if they shared their stories to everyone and to not wait until they're in recovery but take that voice and tell the world I'm an addict. I use. I hate it and this is my story. I want help. It's not time to sweep it under the rug. It's time to be vocal about it. Share it because it's not going away and on either side of the spectrum, share the actuality of substance abuse instead of the theory of it. Then, if someone is offered a drug or a drink, they're making an informed choice about how they want their life to look if they choose to go down that road.

K: That's some pretty hard ass ways to look at this.

C: It has to be done because just talking about it and telling kids, no you're not allowed. It's not doing the job. Pull the rugs up. Make it visible for everyone to see so they can't look away. People need to stop having this attitude like I can't see it therefor it doesn't exist. It exists everywhere and you can either be helpful or just add to it by pretending that it's not there or that it's not a real situation.

K: Yeah. I mean, kids are watching so much violence and promiscuity on the big screen or on the internet, what would it hurt to see it in real life.

C: Yeah. Totally.

K: Wow. You have a completely different energy to you right now than the last time we talked. You're all fired up.

C: (laughs) Let my story be an example of what not to do. If I can contribute anything, let that be it.

K: Will you come back if people have questions for you?

C: Yeah. If I can help in any way like that, just let me know. You have my number.

K: I do. It's three rings.

C: Not even. I'll pick up on the first.

K: Thanks Cory.

C: Thanks Kim. I'll see you later.

K: Of course.

Conversations with Anton Yelchin - Sci Fi Coffee Talk

If you read this and you connect with his energy...there's no going back. It's just so all-encompassing straight up openness. He's just awesome. Love Anton.

A: Hey Kim.

K: Anton! You have been missed. How are you?

A: Thanks. I'm good. I've been really good.

K: What've you been up to?

A: Lots of stuff. Exploring, hangin'...tryin' new things. That's what this is all about you know. Being able to do and accomplish things that you didn't think you could when you were over there livin', right?

K: Totally.

A: Yeah. And...I hooked up.

K: You hooked up?

A: I hooked up.

Pause because I'm that dense.

K: You hooked up!

A: Yeah. (grinning)

K: Get out of here. I need details.

A: (laughing) I don't know...she's great.

K: Name?

A: Elizabeth.

K: Earthly existence or other?

A: Other.

K: You devil.

A: It's cool. I'm just really liking being with someone this way. It's awesome.

K: So you guys are in Spirit form and not incarnated anywhere right now?

A: Well...I mean, I'm incarnated in lots of places but yeah. This is in Spirit.

K: Cool!

I feel it in my chest. There's happy pride here.

A: How are you?

K: I'm okay. I've been wondering about you and what you've been doing. You missed a Circle Time.

A: (shrugs) Wasn't my circle time.

K: I guess not. Heath and Erik were cool though.

A: Yeah? Answered some deep and yearning questions for people?

K: Always.

A: Good.

K: Seeing any planets lately?

A: Oh yeah. Sure.

K: Do you go there as an energy or do you go there as Anton or do you go there in some sort of form?

A: I go there as energy and if I can and if I want to go there as who I was as Anton, I'll take that form. Usually though...if I go as an energy those beings that inhabit that place can sense it.

K: So you go to the 5/6th dimensions?

A: I go everywhere. There's places that the worlds are just forming, right, and they....I mean it's not the same but it's that caveman stage, right. But it's wild.

K: Are there new 'earths' forming. I mean, I know they wouldn't be the same as here...

A: No. It's different. Earth is earth. It's not something or somewhere that can be replaced or replicated because it's what it's supposed to be and its uniqueness is just that. You've heard it, Kim. All eyes are there right now and one day, Earth is going to be the example for a lot of other planets and humans are going to be able to be those guides that we (Spirit) or ETs are for Earth right now.

K: That's amazing to me. Have you visited any of these places that are a work in progress like we are?

A: Yeah. And because I can see where I've come from in that life...I can look around and see so many cool things happen.

K: Are these places free will and choice?

A: Some are. Some are just evolving so rapidly.

K: What is the purpose of evolving so rapidly? Isn't there a system to this kind of stuff?

A: Not always. Some planets are watched to see how fast things can progress...how fast growth can be accomplished and others are...how slow. That's just in a way that you can understand. You've have to see it to really get it.

K: No doubt.

A: But that's the beauty of everything. It's how much...personality or individuality there is in regards to a species or a planet or an environment. It's not just the people or beings that live there. It's the whole sphere or globe of it.

K: Do you think that what lives on a planet shapes the planet or do you think the planet shapes the life of it.

A: (grins) Like, what came first...the chicken or the egg?

K: Sort of in a way. What have you seen?

A: I've seen both. There's been places where the environment shapes the living and then there's the living that shapes the planet. Usually though, if it doesn't work together...there's no balance and it can be destructive.

K: What about that place that you showed me where the beings/people emerged out of the planet. Like they were humanoid but were of the environment.

A: But that is a beautiful example of how a being or a person can emerge from the love of the environment. They are very aware of that relationship and so it breathes and it births life.

K: Wow. That was beautiful. Breathes and births life.

A: It's so amazing to witness or travel through and they are so...giving. You just have to watch where you step.

Laughing together.

K: Do you go there as Anton? When you show me the images you show me you in your human form.

A: Yeah. They're interested in the human form. They're interested in the skin (he pinches his skin) because just as foreign as it is for me to see a being come out of water, fully formed as water...it's foreign to them to see skin and bones. They feel it's rigid.

K: I can see that. For sure.

A: And we are...to an extent, rigid. We don't know flow as much as we need to.

K: Like?

A: Like...you know those people who practice the art of parkour?

K: Yeah. Mateo was into that for a bit.

A: They know how to fall. They know how to jump. They know how to be the environment around them so they don't get hurt. You see the gymnasts in cirque du soleil or something?

K: Yep. Amazing.

A: But they know how to become the environment around them. It's not just strength. When you're doing calisthenics with another human...you become that other human to a degree. You have to. So even though we're a rigid species...there are some that know about that.

K: I wonder if they've come from an environment, in another life, that is more flow and more...community based with the environment around them to be an example of that here on earth?

A: Man, Kim. You're so on it today. What's up with that?

K: Because I was never before?

A: I find that when I come in it's more of a talk between two people instead of a learning situation.

K: Probably because I've been enjoying those kinds of encounters here. There's more of a sharing of ideas than actually teaching someone which I enjoy. It creates more of an opening...in a sense.

A: Sharing is more than. Sharing is allowing for that open space to just share and by sharing people can just absorb that information easier than if it were given in a lesson.

K: Leanne says hi.

A: (cups his hands around his mouth in a call) Hey Leanne! What's she saying?

K: She forgot her question to you but I think it'll come back.

A: Awesome.

K: At the end of the day, though, there is a learning component to life.

A: Totally. You don't just stay in this mindset of nothing. You learn basic tools and you explore the area around you but that's the thing. You absorb the area. It teaches you through experience. There's no manual and then when you experience something, you have that as an example to share. I like the idea of sharing knowledge or thought. It gets communication working in great ways.

K: Is it the same in...heaven, I guess?

A: Oh yeah. I mean, when you get here there are different stories and different experiences but we bring that back because it was part of this growing...library of possibility and everyone shapes that and everyone brings that into whatever incarnation that's going to be next.

K: If one is living an incarnation at the same time as a human one...(I know readers. This is weird.) Does it have an effect on both?

A: To a degree. Are you talking parallel?

K: Sure...or completely different.

A: That's where the Higher Self kind of plays director. If a person needs to feel an experience from another life to know what to do or get out of a situation or even experience that in a different way...let's say on earth...then they will direct that for you. People might call it Karma but I just think it's a sharing of information from various highways of consciousness. There is so much...downloads sounds so Sci-Fi but there are so many downloads all the time. They don't just come from space. They come from other experiences that your spirit is having at the same time you are living that human life.

K: Dude! I totally knew of your brain when I first met you. Man...you are this huge thinker. Maybe thinker isn't the right word but you know.

A: Too much?

K: No. It's amazing how my mind just goes in so many directions while maintaining what I'm thinking right now. It's like pulling at all these cords and just opening...possibility of everything which is very cool. When I talk to you I don't get this, what's done is done, thing. I just get it continues forever.

A: Because it does. You're not finished just because you lost that rigidness. Never.

K: Some people feel the need to escape the rigidness to be able to experience more.

A: I think that if you accepted the rigidness, you'd be able to experience things more easily because then you would know you'd have to become or you'd have to work with or you'd have to join and merge. Some people...that's what they've come to learn how to do.

K: I see that.

A: But it's amazing when it all clicks.

K: Is that still your favorite place. That planet?

A: It's up there.

K: Have you created something for yourself yet?

A: Like a home or something?

K: Yeah.

A: I wouldn't necessarily call it a home. I have...I don't require much. I guess it would equal a room...a big one. If I want to 'go outside' I go explore right. I've always been a mover.

K: Paul said you were always on the go.

A: He's right and some just need that home base to come home to. I find myself pretty adaptable.

K: I think you would have to be. I mean...you're energy.

A: Yeah.

K: You can become now. It's not rigid.

A: You're right.

K: Do you still come back to earth?

A: Yeah. Of course. I'm there all the time.

K: What do you like the most about earth?

A: (thinks about it) It's exciting. You know how you were watching the movie the other night. What was it? That earthquake one?

K: Something about San Andreas Fault.

A: Yeah. And you know how you were thinking, what next? And you were tense and you were thinking there's no way they can come out of this.

K: Yes.

A: It's like that but with knowing (points from temple of his head to the ground) that it's all going to end up okay.

K: Do you feel anticipation or...excitement.

A: Oh yeah and sometimes it's like...it's so bad I can't look away. You end up peeking through your fingers even though I know that it's not bad. It's all happening because it has to and the outcome is going to be good. That's a preview of earth's outcome. It's going to be good.

K: Excellent. Anything else you like?

A: It's all change all the time. It's action all the time. There's new things to learn and invent all the time. There's always something happening. There's always something being done and sometimes it's all there to counteract each other and sometimes it just works together for the benefit of all. The duality...man...it's cool to see that play out.

K: Where do you place your bets? You're showing me friendly betting.

A: On anything that will make a person just realize where they are is actually meant for something and coming out of that, 'I hate this shit.' To 'Holy shit.' It's awesome to see.

K: That is awesome to see.

A: Hey, you've been busy I know but this is cool. You need to come to my side. We could do it together.

K: I'm working on it but I don't think Astral Travel is my gig. I mean, there comes a point where I can feel myself separating but it doesn't go further and I'm not sure how to do that.

A: I could just tell you to let go.

K: You could but everyone says that.

A: What if you just pictured a hand and took it.

K: Something so simple.

A: But don't take it with....like don't think. Just kind of take that energy of you...feel it's you and take the hand.

K: I heard of the silver string method.

A: That too but some people need another to hold onto in those situations. It can be a scary thing to see that you're separated from your physical...that all you know to go into a space that is nothing you remember.

K: True. That is something to try.

A: I'll be the hand.

K: Aw. You're awesome.

A: Well...it's an invitation anyway.

K: Thanks Anton.

A: Soon?

K: I hope so. This has been fantastic. Give my love to Elizabeth.

A: Already done. Thanks Kim. See you later.

K: Will do.

Conversations with Spirit Guide Ryker - Introduction & Spooky Energies

If I could take a picture of these...men that come in as guides I would. Unfortunately, I can't . The above picture is just a resemblance so I will have to describe Ryker for you guys. He's just stepped forward in the last couple of weeks. He's really tall. Very broad. Has ice blue eyes and jet black hair. He's got a beard. Put him in a leather jacket and give him a motorcycle and he'd be a biker dude. Give him a checkered shirt and an axe and call him a mountain man. Just very very masculine. He's a truth bearer so he won't mince words. There is a marked difference in his energy vs. Simon's. I don't know how much he will come in for conversations or coachings. He has come into one and I will allow him if the occasion calls for it. I do have a team around me but so far, Simon, Paul and now Ryker have stepped forward to offer themselves. Today is more an introduction and some chit chat about what we might consider ghosts. I have a very different idea than some do about scary and dark energies. I pretty much don't give it a thought or time of day. I can't. I meet these beings with a much different stance than shaking in my boots. Anyway. Here's Ryker...a brother of mine from the realms of Archangel Michael.

R: Good Morning.

K: Good Morning Ryker. Wow. That was fast.

R: Why would someone wait to greet another with a good morning?

K: Good point. How are ya, handsome?

R: I'm very very well. Thank you for asking. How are you?

K: I'm okay. Can't complain. I should introduce you.

R: And what would you say?

K: That you're a pretty tough looking dude with a no bullshit attitude that calls it like it is and there's no arguing.

R: Well you could argue, I suppose but...I don't know how far it would take someone in regards to trying to prove a point.

K: But it's a human perspective and one that's all we have sometimes.

R: It is. I'll give you that.

K: Halloween's tomorrow.

R: (smiles) It is.

K: Want to talk spooky?

R: Is there a spooky?

K: Some people tend to think so.

R: Alright. Let's talk spooky.

K: Well first let's talk shielding.

R: Hhhhmmm...not a topic that sits well with you until this day which is...expected seeing as how you've never made time for the shielding; never believing that it was something you thought necessary.

K: No. But...that's with the spooky. I didn't say it wasn't necessary with the living spooky.

R: Ah, yes. The bad tempered, bad attitude, snappy, bothered, judgment filled human being that tends to bully their way into things that is none of their concern.

K: Or the ones that try to drag a person down into their own despair.

R: Yes. Those too.

K: Shielding from...not from them per say but from their emotion or their feelings.

R: It would be a good idea, when dealing with those people that wish to dwell or to project a different shade other than light...it would be a good idea to create boundaries. This is not to say that you must tell another you have no time for them because you cannot seem to stand being in the same room with them. Some of these people live with another that cannot quite understand why the darkness? Why not pull yourself out of your hell? Yes?

K: Sure.

R: Another questions these people's actions because they allow it to spread and absorb within them...it being another's bad day.

K: Yes.

R: These are boundaries and a fair understanding that you cannot save nor can you enable another's bad day for another's bad day is their choice and nothing more. A healthy boundary does not mean that you must cast them aside and leave them alone in their moments of darkness. You can support their healing if they so choose. If they do not choose the path of healing than it is not your duty to try and make them. This is the boundary that you must create. You can love them through but you cannot fix for when someone tries to fix another they, in turn, can become angry and frustrated that the other person does not wish for it and ignores the assistance that one is so willing to provide. It is not that one has to wash their hands of another. It is understanding that those who are brooding or dwelling or angry of fearful have made a choice to linger in this and it is up to them to make the choice to heal. Support is one thing. You create these healings for them.

K: So what Paul was saying about the toolbox. You can give them the toolbox but it's up to them to use it.

R: Yes.

K: You're laughing because you're reading my mind.

R: (chuckling) I'm sorry.

K: You put that there!

R: I did.

He's showing me Holy Water.

K: You're a shit disturber.

R: As are you. Isn't that what Paul calls you?

K: He does. Daily.

R: And you don't protect yourself from that?

K: Pppfffttt. I know the source and the source is a good guy.

R: He is that. You both have come very far in your work.

K: We try.

R: No. You do. Regardless of what is happening.

K: It's true. Well, let's discuss the boogeyman since you showed the water.

R: The water will not get rid of your boogeyman.

K: You know what?

R: What?

K: We should let people know about where you're from.

R: Alright.

K: So, we go way back.

R: (smiles) Back to the beginning.

K: Before Simon and I?

R: Yes. If you were take a measurement of time, it would be before your Earth was created.

K: So why did Simon come in first?

R: Because you have a history and it's a comfortable one.

K: You feel like a brother energy to me.

R: I am very much a brother energy. If you were to define our...relationship in a way that would be recognizable to those who read this, it would be that of an older brother.

K: Cool.

R: Yes.

K: And where are you from big brother?

R: My beginnings are from the realms of the Archangel Michael. I...I guess you could say that I am employed (winks) by them but it is not that I am told to do this or that. It is what I do. That is all.

K: And what do you do?

R: I bring truth. I bring easy and hard truths, as you would say. I cut away the lies one tells themselves. I see and I hear between the lines. It is very important to know what is not being said for when one is aware of what's not being said it is using one's intuition to understand truth. Truth can only be one thing in many different scenarios and to deny that is to deny who you, as a human, innately are. You can cover a truth with stories of another, believing that to be so...but it is not if you have not lived it or identified with it from your own being.

K: And you make people see their own parts played in dances or relationships and so forth.

R: In relationships it would be good to note that there are many sides to one story and because of this it takes two to dance. What is your saying? It takes two to tango?

K: Yes.

R: Very well. One can blame the whole of the world for their misery. They can blame the whole of their cities or their neighborhoods or even the people they know and assume to love. Things change once personal responsibility is taken for all actions and not lied away to make one feel better or more powerful than what they tell themselves they are.

K: Yes. So, here's the deal, Ryker.

R: What's that?

K: Be nice.

R: I am always nice.

K: In a gruff sort of way.

R: I would never treat anyone poorly. I love. That is my nature but even in love, those who call upon me must receive that in truth.

K: Can they request you?

R: Of course.

K: If they were to see you, what would they see?

R: Me. You wish for signs that I am around.

K: I sure do.

R: Well, I have been known to flash as a sword. I have been known to create a feeling as if one has been nudged in the gut. I come in as a flash of red.

K: Nathaniel just came in here.

R: He did.

K: You're buddies with Nathaniel.

R: Our...energies work very closely together. Nathaniel and Michael work in a guardianship capacity in ways that are very...strong...thorough. If you call upon them both, you will not be able to sit down for when you call on them both you have called in action.

K: I have that experience.

R: Yes. You know Nathaniel very well.

K: I do. As well as Michael. I feel them near constantly. It's a barrier for some and they can be pretty protective.

R: They can.

So right now I have three angels in the room with me and my heart is in my throat and I feel very very antsy and...time for battle. There is none. It's just their energy.

K: Okay. The boogeyman. Nathaniel...I'm only one person.

He wants to come in. My head is swimming and I'm finding it hard to concentrate.

K: Dude. You have to step back.

R: (chuckling lowly) Popular place.

K: Nathaniel's been wanting to do a conversation for a while but I thought since you were coming into coachings for some, that it would be a good idea to introduce you.

R: Good.

K: What's the dark and scary ghouls and goblins? Is there that on Earth?

R: Yes. There is that on Earth. One cannot deny the presence of Beings that have...lingered in their fears, in their darkness or in their traumas after death.

K: Why do they do that? Are they not given the opportunity to go to a Heaven just like everyone else?

R: They have ample opportunity. Everyone does. For some, they carry with them the belief that they are not deserving. That they have...fucked up as you would call it. That they have sinned so they cannot go. Some would think that they must remain on earth as protectors of what they were...of their fears, of their anger, of their abuse that they have bestowed upon another. This does not happen as often as one might believe. This is rare.

K: Are they given opportunities to know better?

R: Yes. No one is left behind but it is a choice.

K: Could ghosties be residual energies? I mean, I spoke to Anne Boleyn a couple of times and she didn't haunt anything. She said it was energy that was kind of on repeat. It was sort of like an energetic footprint.

R: Yes. Anne is quite well. She is in peace and rests well. Places, environments have the capabilities to hang on to the energies of those that dwelled there. They can be all kinds of energies. They can what you would consider good or bad. What allows this to shape is a human beings fears or worries over it. Let me give you a scenario.

K: Okay.

R: Let's say you walk into one of your haunted houses.

K: Yes.

R: Being who you are, you feel you do not need protection going in because you are not a person that gives attention to the fears of the night.

K: Nope. Can't say that I do.

R: So you would probably not get as many chills of terror as the person who walks in shaking in their boots at the first crack of a floor board.

K: So why is that?

R: Because fear feeds fear and the crack in the floorboard could be that part of the person that is projecting that out in the form of energy and having it be seen or felt as one of your ghosts that are not at rest.

K: Interesting. So it could be an aspect of them?

R: Yes.

K: But it could also be feeding that ghost energy that is around that...I don't even know how to ask about this stuff because I'm not one to really give it my energy.

R: Yes. It is a difficult discussion to have with you. Let's say the one that walks into the house walks with the idea or the thought that whatever is in that house requires assistance to be loved back to Source rather than fear for what shape or form it could manifest as.

K: Yeah. Okay.

R: As a one of your mediums, could you then have those boundaries that would not give a scary entity permission to bother you but could allow both of you to work together to bring that much needed light into their place of darkness?

K: Sure.

R: And then that light would show them the way home.

K: But the thing I don't get is why they would choose to stay anyway. You explained it but...is it just that they don't know how or they are just constantly pulled back to what they lived in terms that they just don't want to say goodbye?

R: And they do not have the understanding that even if they did say goodbye they could simply come back whenever they pleased.

K: I guess so. You would know.

R: Kimberly, most travel the path of the light. The bumps, moans, sighs, figures...it is a tape of energy that is looped upon itself because of the hold...the gravity of the environment and not necessarily the spirit.

K: Could the energy attach itself to a human being?

R: Yes. Fear feeds fear. A Spirit...a Being who cannot transition into the light is one that disregarded the light as they lived. They can see those who live the same way and they can attach themselves to these specific human beings. You would call it a haunting. I would simply say it is fear feeding fear.

K: Oh boy. So the squeeze of my hand when I was 14 years old in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve was my own fears?

R: No. You were not of the awareness that you are now. It was a Spirit but it was not one that has not travelled to the light. You were visited by one of your ancient aboriginal people for your house was built on their land. He only made contact. He did not wish to scare you. He wished to show you.

K: Well, at 14, I wasn't having it.

R: (grins) No. You were not.

K: So then, if you feel like you're being visited by these energies...let's call them fear feeders.

I just hear laughing.

K: I think it's a good name.

R: Very good. I like it.

K: Shielding needs to take place?

R: Yes but...let us give up the word shielding as if one must protect themselves from these energies. Let us, instead, say boundaries. Let us say that you are lit up by something much more powerful than a list of fears and as you walk into an environment such as one of your haunted homes, you are then equipped with empowerment, that which a fear feeder cannot feast on.

K: I heard once that it's not a good idea to meet these Beings with anger or...ready for a fight, but with peace and I guess that sense of empowerment that only shows them love and compassion other than a stance that's like...ready for a war.

R: It would be best to stand in your truth...in your light as a compassionate being than one that is ready to protect out of a fear that something could or probably would happen. Do you see?

K: I do. This subject is so controversial too. And that's probably why I can't even articulate it very well. I mean, you have this community that allows ghosts and goblins to elicit terror and feels the need to carry silver bullets or crucifixes or whatever and then you have that group where Mr. Werewolf will sneak up behind them while this person's reading a book and he's ready to take a chomp and the person just turns around and asks, 'can I help you?' Pretty simply put but there are both sides.

R: Yes. I understand that. But...you, Kimberly, have more fear with human beings that can be seen than with that of the unseen.

K: Fear's a pretty strong term.

R: I pull from you.

K: Yeah. Actual flesh and bone people rub me the wrong way. I tend to absorb a lot of their 'stuff' so that's where my shielding needs to happen. Not so much with the boogeyman.

R: Very good so then you can recognize that there are other instances that human beings must shield or have boundaries and some would much rather be with the boogeyman for the humans can feel worse.

K: Yes.

R: It is a very good measuring stick is it not?

K: What?

R: That if a fellow human being feels worse than the idea of a haunting by one of your boogeymen it might be time to walk away in an act of self-honor and self-protection that nurturing those irritations or those feelings of hopelessness that another human being can project to an innocent heart.

K: Yes. So, if a person has had a 'bad' relationships with someone and they die...is that person then in a place where they can see outcomes of actions or see the bottom line in terms of how that played out and then if they come visit at night or tap you on the shoulder in a house that they used to live in that they are now 'haunting'...could that not be a way that they are actually ready to heal that relationship and open communication so that the person who is still living can have their own peace.

R: Very much so. Very much. They are now in a state of grace and wish to share this with all of those that they may have hurt or abused or lashed out in because now they can truly see how that affected those closest to them and they can now understand the idea of forgiveness.

K: To allow that then...?

R: Yes. I feel it would give the living much peace...to have those honest conversations with those they felt they couldn't when they lived. It would heal much.

K: Then, if the living just wanted those truthful talks, with those that have died, to move on in love instead of hate or regret, could we then call upon them without the fear that those angry feelings would just provoke a haunting instead of a healing?

R: When the intention is one of healing, grace and love, that is your shielding. That is your protection and one would be in a safe place to pursue these acts of healing for they come from a compassionate heart.

K: Makes sense. But, I mean, in my work I make it known that any conversation can continue. Even just a hi, how's it going or let's go out tonight.

R: This is truth. This...actually this is a very good exercise to allow the Soul of a person to understand that their life was not in vain, that their memory is not and that they are invited to continue to be an active participant in the lives of those they love.

K: Then the definition of a haunting would be completely different.

R: It would. It would just be...simply...a visit.

K: Cool. Good. I like it. Anything else on you or ghosts or goblins.

R: Unless there are question. You are right in saying that people have their own ideas. We only share ours. It will differ from person to person as does everything.

K: Spirit is so different to everyone. It's amazing how people can perceive Spirit so differently yet, it's the same person or the same spirit or whatever and I think this can be a hang-up.

R: It is. One in which you will let down.

K: I try.

R: You do. See you soon, Kimberly.

K: See you soon brother.

Turns and walks away. The guy is huge.

Conversations with Audrey Hepburn – 1st Meet Up

Like Anton and like Benjamin Cole, she introduced herself from an article but this article popped up on my Facebook feed. Just immediately she was there and it was sort of a bummer that it was right before I was heading into meditation before bed. But, as all great things do, she came back in the morning and like all great things do, she stuck around until I could offer her my time. She would wave to people around me like they could see her. I was chatting to my friend, Sharon, and she offered her a hello. She's so very pleasant. I had a similar feeling to her that I did with Princess Diana and I would have to describe it as grace. It was beautiful. She would talk with her body. She would kind of lean forward with every punctuated point she wanted to make especially after a pause and I would mimic that behavior because I couldn't help it. She came to me as a younger version of herself; maybe in her early thirties. I heard Spirits often present themselves how they felt their best in life. I suppose that's what happened here. I thoroughly enjoyed my time with her. The day started out crazy but it's like she stopped time or parted the red sea so we could speak with no interruptions. I don't feel it will be the first time I hear from her. She wants in on Circle Time if you can believe that. I nearly fell off my chair when she asked. Here is my conversation with Audrey Hepburn.

A: What's the matter?

K: Nothing. Just lot's going on.

A: (giggles) I can see that. But, don't worry. I am sitting here and simply waiting and I am not bothered at all by the craziness of life. (sighs) Sometimes I just enjoy watching.

K: Is it like a television show? Or a movie?

A: In a way, I suppose it is. I do admire your hair, Kimberly.

K: What? Where did that come from?

A: It's just so long. I've never been able to grow my hair. I've always kept it relatively short...compared to yours.

K: Really. I've seen you with long hair.

A: Longish hair. At some point it just became unmanageable.

K: Huh. Yeah, it's just one of those things that sometimes gets in the way or if it becomes a certain length just doesn't cooperate and wants to be shorter.

A: Yes. You understand perfectly.

K: Well, thank you for the compliment. I appreciate that.

A: You're welcome. (sits straight and places her hands on her knees in anticipation) I was hoping you would receive my invitation.

K: It was pretty strong. Same way that Anton and Cole came to me.

A: I hope I wasn't intruding?

K: No. Absolutely not. Well, I guess the first thing that popped into my mind, to begin this was...if you felt like you were a hero of your life.

A: How so?

K: Some people feel like they had to claw their way up to some sort of top. Did you ever feel you had to rescue yourself from anything and that's why you had the success you did?

A: No. I've never felt like that. I've always felt like I was extremely lucky with things that...opened up for me just as if me being in a certain place or time provided me opportunity. I felt very much like a survivor but I don't think I would ever consider myself a hero of my life.

K: A survivor of your youth in the war?

A: Yes. That is...quite a large...excuse. I say excuse because people could look back on their lives and think of reasons as to why they ended up how they are. I would say that I think of myself as a survivor because I survived hellish experiences and saw much that stayed with me but I also survived my father leaving...I survived re...re-hashing life circumstances that were somewhat out of my control. Yes, they gave me the thought or the idea that there were things that were important in this world to be a voice to but I don't believe that I would have ever been that voice if I hadn't had the opportunity to survive. I don't believe I would have had the opportunity to...continue to be my father's daughter if I hadn't survived the abandonment from him. A hero is...a hero. The rescue. I didn't believe that I ever rescued anyone or myself. I survived experiences that were put along my path and with those experiences I was able to shape what was important to me and what was not. I feel I learned the true value of enjoyment and enjoying what you did in life. I believe that because I enjoyed...it sort of...rippled out and invited opportunity that would maybe never had happened if I had remained a victim of my past.

K: Wow!!!!! Wow!!!!! Standing ovation. Holy cow! Thank you for that.

A: (smiles) For what? I only speak for my life.

K: I want to get some controversy out of the way if I may.

A: Yes.

K: I read that you would carry messages in your socks for the Dutch resistance because the Germans wouldn't look at a child with a second glance. And I know that your parents were part of that. Did you do that kind of thing?

A: I did but it wasn't so much for the resistance as it was a way of communication or warning...like gossip or one of your weather alerts on your television. It was alerting those that needed to be alerted but it wasn't part of forming any sort of...act of violence or war. I didn't do it a lot; only a handful of times. My mother, although...approving...was hesitant. So, she found other ways for her daughter to be a part of those things. I was a dancer. I loved to dance and my parents would use that as a means to gain funds for this...resistance but resistance is such a harsh word when the funds would go mostly to daily living and care of those that would call themselves part of this...club.

K: Really?

A: Yes. German's were very heavily...their presence was heavy everywhere they occupied and they took everything that was considered a human right. The war...at that time I considered no one human. I felt that humans could never behave so cruelly to one another, having power over another...especially children but as a child myself...I couldn't understand. The money that I helped raise or the movement that I helped as a courier of information was to help. If there was any money going to things other than human necessities...I was not aware. I danced for silent crowds believing that anything that came out of it was to help the people of my city or the surrounding country. Not to contribute to the war.

K: But it did, in a way?

A: The mentality of my mother and my father was extreme because I believed...as a child, it had to be. Desperate is a word that I would use to describe people's feelings or sympathies. They were very this side or that side and they were fueled with emotion. Yes, adults would try to influence the children but as all children do...they don't understand why. They cannot comprehend why such anger or hatred or sadness or fear because of their innocence. I kept myself very innocent because I found my parents to be very extreme.

K: I feel an extreme softness with you. I feel that you...with your dancing or your...simple presence that it would be akin to an angelic presence in a very dark time even if you didn't consider yourself an angel or see yourself in that way.

A: I believe all children carry that with them and in times of strife or war or violence they try to do so even more. Thank you for that. When a child is harmed or awaiting some punishment...they don't understand why.

She shows me a moment that defined part of her youth. A young boy was waiting to be taken, by train, to the camps.

A: He didn't understand why and neither did I because I was able to watch him and it was horrific because I knew where he was going but to watch him...he didn't understand why because he had done nothing. He was innocent.

K: As were many.

A: Yes. As were many. I can only tell you about my childhood experience. I would sound much different if I were to speak to you as an adult of those times. You've been visited by a soldier.

K: Yes I have.

A: If you were to get his story from that time...the period of war in Europe, especially, his words would not mirror my own.

K: No. I guess they would not. Despite the chaos that was happening around you, you said that your father leaving was probably one of the most traumatic experiences. Why?

A: Because if a father truly loved his children...would they not be worthy for him to stay and is a cause or a political view or a religion more important than your child...is it more attractive than to be with your only daughter. I felt rejected and in that rejection, I tried to analyze why and the why's were not mine but I allowed them to be until his dying day. I allowed his...personal policies or his personal emotional detachment to be mine.

K: Yeah. You found him and took care of him. Did you feel obligated?

A: (shakes head) No. He was my father and his absence...even though my life was so fulfilled...was a hole. So even with his detached...love for me...his presence in whatever way that was supposed to be or whatever way it was, filled me in some way that it was complete. I feel that I could have been very naïve to think that he would reciprocate and now, I feel he did the best he could. His life was made up of parts of wars he could never forget, sympathies he could never resolve, and views that could never be changed. He was very stubborn but when I reconnected with him, I saw that he was very scared of the world and he only wanted to fit into a place where he felt he could be safe.

K: You have a heart of gold.

A: If I had a heart of gold, I would not be alive but thank you. I understand what you mean. I only tease.

K: (laughing) I know. So you make it through the war but did you ever think that you wouldn't?

A: That is a large reason why I feel I was lucky and...I am reluctant to use the word hero because there were many times that I felt my body was turning against me...that it would eat everything inside of me to stay alive and it was ferocious.

She shows me a body eating itself from the inside out. Pretty awful imagery actually.

A: My body clawed at my spirit. It gripped my heart and there were times where I believed it would win because it was fighting a losing battle. But I also believe that my body...as hungry as it was, was only trying to keep me alive. So, I had two mindsets. (shows two fingers) One, when I was of high hopes and one, when I was utterly low. It would flip between thinking my body was doing what it needed to, to keep me alive and thinking my body was trying to kill me so I wouldn't have to suffer any longer.

K: Did you feel alone in your suffering?

A: No. (laughs a little) I was part of a community of sufferers. Many had it worse than me. Indescribable amounts...unbearable amounts of suffering. The world...at that time...suffered. Those who rose from the dead...you could say...those that survived the camps...those that survived the unfair torture...those were the heroes. Now, remembering, I suffered and I survived.

K: I feel how you differentiate and I appreciate that.

A: It's the only way I can verbalize it.

K: What did you like best? Was it dancing? Was it singing? The acting?

A: My first love was dancing and it branched out from there. I think that I found out things that came naturally to me that came out of things that I was doing.

K: Was there a learning curve that came with that?

A: Of course. Yes.

K: Was it a fight, sometimes, to make yourself something that others wanted you to be in regards to acting?

A: Um...no. I don't think I ever had to fight with myself to become. Rather, I took instruction very well while maintaining my...delight? (Laughs) I maintained my enthusiasm.

K: Yes. When I talk to you there is an energy of happy enthusiasm joy sweetness. Very light. Do you think that if people were to embody those traits more that things might come...not necessarily easier but there would less of a battle? I guess?

A: It's a very good question but that would box everything into some sort of category where to maintain joy would automatically make personal world's spin in a way that someone would desire. I believe we make choices in our lives. I believe that nothing happens for a reason but something happens for everything. A healthy mentality despite struggle...is proactive. When I began my acting career is wasn't always smooth. It wasn't always something that I wanted to do. I was handed scripts that I just didn't like but the opportunity was something to consider. So instead of begrudging what I was handed, I looked at it as an opportunity for the next and the next. I also knew, in my heart of hearts, that the stage or the movies or the television wasn't what I would finish when I was old and gray. It was something to live for a moment while living other things for the moment and finding out where I, ultimately, wanted to be. I loved what was given to me in the sense that I loved my career. I loved it but I didn't live for it. There were other things that I lived for.

K: You wanted to be a mother and your body seemed to have fought you on that.

A: More than anything I wanted to have children and my heart broke at every loss. I felt that my body was...at times...against me like it was, in the war, and through that I found that I needed to care for myself if I was to bring another life into this world. Although, it didn't work a lot of the time...it worked for the children that I had and adored. I listened to my body that whispered. Not my body that yelled and screamed and became a monster. And through the whispers I gained health...health enough to have children.

K: I don't usually do these things as some sort of repeat from other people's research. I like to give Spirit a voice on how they look at their life that they lived with those Spirit eyes. I do know that you did a little binge eating but you remained so...thin, I guess.

A: (laughs) Not always but if you were to see my body when I ate like food would be taken away from me, you probably would continue to see me as slight. There is a standard in the entertainment industry, one that is still present to this day. It is...unfair.

K: Well tell me about those times where you ate...where you couldn't stop at just one and maybe it was twenty. I don't know. I'm being dramatic.

A: I...(smiles and sighs) my mind would sometimes believe that I was struggling through mal-nutrition because of the war. The war stunted what I should have been and I use should very lightly. I suppose you could say there were moments of PTSD in regards to food. Something in my mind would trigger my body to become the beast...that part of me that had to claw or elbow their way to get nourishment; a part of me that had to beg for a piece of bread and when the whole loaf was handed to me I grew selfish and wanted it all for me and to keep it all for me I had to eat it. One might say that an eating disorder was at play when really, I would consider it a flashback to a time of desperation.

K: Were you able to heal from that?

A: Yes. I was able to, yes.

K: You mentioned the industry and I just want to touch on that because we are in a time where...it's this movement of #metoo or #timesup. Women have been...unfairly treated. This isn't a new thing. This has been going on for years and years and years. It has created a culture of feminists.

A: Yes.

K: And that's a whole other topic. I find that women's' voices have grown loud now because of certain...how do I put this...abuses in the entertainment industry, for example. Were you ever subjected to these types of things? Did you ever have personal encounters with...jerks.

A: I had many encounters with jerks...male and female. What I knew about myself from my years of war was that nothing could destroy me. Did I have to act in a similar fashion to feel as if I was worthy? Not at all. I believe that I was tolerated at times. I could be very passive with my remarks. But, in the moments that I felt I was mistreated by others in the industry, I would ask myself is this any worse than my childhood. It was always something I compared to what I endured in my youth. I didn't have many bad experiences and certainly I never suffered, what I would consider, abuse from a man's hands. I feel for these women who feel they have been or most certainly have been harmed. A rule that I have always told myself that those who bark the loudest usually have many things they are hiding. Those in hiding must come up for air. Why not be the air.

K: You totally just blew my socks off. Why not be the air.

A: Take a large breath and let it out slow. See how much relief there is in air. See how much freer the air is. The women...the men...those who are standing up and being a voice to these movements...are the air.

Wow. Seriously. She says it in such a light and gentle way I just want to tear up.

K: Incredible.

A: It will take time. The process is to be considered. (lightly taps knuckles together) But the less there is of this the more there will be of this. (clasps hands together) The intensity of a fight...a battle or a war will fizzle out because both sides will lose their strength fairly quickly. This is fire and is extinguishable. Be the air.

K: How do we top that?

A: (laughs) Easily.

K: Let's talk about your humanitarian efforts.

A: Efforts. The word carries with it a hint of failure. These things are ongoing. Wouldn't it be wonderful where there would be no need for humanitarian efforts? Where humanity could become a race in and of itself. Where there was no less than or more than. Where no one can feel as if they have power while leaving another feeling like they are nothing but a victim? Wouldn't it be something.

K: Yeah. You were saying that earlier but then...isn't duality part of this?

A: Duality had nothing to do with humanity as a whole. It was the nature of the soul. The unfortunate circumstance of abuse or bullying or control is a choice. These choices are seen as dualistic in nature. You can do good or you can do bad. I only use good and bad as words you will understand. In the metaphysical sense, it is the contrast of light and dark. The choices an individual has made adds to the collective choices and then there are people that see this and choose to take action to help another come out of oppression. You can assist someone but unfortunately, it is just a voice or an example. The responsibility is to each individual person.

K: I have been having a lot of discussion about this with a buddy of mine. Yes. I agree with you. So what were your efforts then?

A: To be a voice and to show what the outcome was of choice. But I also wanted to educate people that an effort that a person can put forth can create great movements toward a common goal of peace; of safety and security that is not available to many at this time.

K: In a way, did you use your experiences of war and famine...did you use those as something that you could relate to and be passionate about stopping?

A: In these times, there is absolutely no excuse for a human being to go without. I am passionate about the hard fact that there is enough for all. (she's very adamant about this) No one should have less while another has more. There is a severe imbalance and one that must be rectified. I also am a very firm believer in the fact that a person is very capable of helping their situations when helped and given the tools to unveil that talent. I tried to be someone who would be a tool.

K: What would you say to someone that just can't?

A: It feels like that. It does but, as I did with my body when it was so depleted of nourishment and eating away at itself, you could see it as putting in the effort to live or putting in the effort to die. (I cringe) It is a harsh way of looking at it but death has many forms. It's not always physical.

K: I get it but Jesus, Audrey. Eeek. I feel your urgency...almost...about it.

A: We have come to the end of just thinking about doing something. We have come to a time of action.

K: Totally agree. Yes. I agree. You said earlier that you felt that...I can't really remember how you put it but you felt lucky because you didn't think you'd live past the war. You died when? Sixty something?

A: Yes.

K: Cancer?

A: Yes. A very aggressive cancer. When I got the diagnosis they didn't have to tell me twice or at all that it was a death sentence.

K: Is that how you felt? That is was a death sentence?

A: Yes. I went through a wide range of emotions. I did treatment but I knew it was futile. When I knew, for certain, I just wanted to go home.

K: And did you?

A: I did.

K: How did you die? Was it a struggle?

A: I struggled in many forms while I lived. I was given the blessing of sleep. I died sleeping. I went to sleep and instead of my eyes opening to a new day, my soul opened to a new life.

K: That is a beautiful way of looking at it but I feel you have and had a beautiful mindset about everything in your life regardless of what it appeared to be. I know you struggled. You've shown me some horrendous images. I don't really care how you define hero. I believe you are a hero of your life.

A: (gasps a little and clasps her hands to her heart) Really?

K: I do.

A: Oh, thank you. I could kiss you.

K: I wouldn't object. One more question?

A: Anything.

K: That little black number in Breakfast at Tiffany's. (i just hear laughter) You are the envy of all women who wear little black dresses.

A: The dress demanded a certain attitude. It...scared me a little.

K: That dress?

A: I didn't think I could pull it off.

K: Excuse me?

A: The dress had an attitude of its own. (she's joking) The dress dressed me. It taught me more about myself than any other dress. To the women who wear the little black dresses and feel uncomfortable in them...allow the dress to dress you. Allow it to show you a side of yourself that you keep hidden from the world but also enjoy showing it off when you finally put it (the dress) on to show the world what you are truly made of.

K: Right on Sista. Right on!

A: No matter what the number says on the tag...no matter what the size...wear the dress and wear it while carrying yourself as a woman. (balls her hands into fists and accentuates woman)

K: (laughing) I love you.

A: Oh Kimberly. I love you too. This has been wonderful. Can I ask you...?

K: Anything.

A: You gather Spirits in what you call a Circle Time.

K: Once in a while.

A: May I...join it?

K: Are you kidding?

A: No.

K: Oh my God!!!! Hell yes. You can join. Please join. I need another lady on my team.

A: Thank you. Until then.

K: Until then. See you.

A: (blows a kiss)

Conversations with Erik Medhus – Popularity & Cliques

E: Yeah Yeah Yeah. Man that guy talks a lot.

K He does but I quite like his company. He makes me laugh. And speaking of talks a lot...aren't you guilty of the same thing sometimes. Kim always says you talk pretty fast sometimes.

E: Sometimes I just have a lot to say and I have to get it out really really fast because everyone seems to be on this time limit and...man, if I had all the time in the world, which I do, I would have a lot to say.

K: Yeah. I bet and Simon talked to me about time one day. Man-made thing and all that.

E: Totally and to fill that as me now...I have to talk really fast.

K: I hope I can keep up.

E: I hope so too. Totally joking. I'm pretty sure I can slow it down in situations like this.

K: So, youth or the other?

E: The other? Call a spade a spade Kim. Authorpage.

K: Yeah.

E: Let's do youth. I'm totally on board with this so let's do that.

K: Okay so I'll ask you. Popularity and cliques. Big topic but let's just touch on it here.

E: So much bullshit in that but it is what it is.

K: And what is it?

E: It's a control thing. Pretty much a control of other people. Look, there's always one or two that seem to be the show runners right?

K: Right?

E: Wrong. If I were to tell you that those (people) that the other people look up to are just as or more insecure than the people they say yay or nay to, would you believe it?

K: Well now I would.

E: But it's one of those mind sets that doesn't come easily.

K: So they hold on to some sort of control with the popularity or being the IT in the IN crowd because of some sort of lack of self-worth?

E: Because even when we talk about self-worth we can talk like there's this idea that someone thinks that they're not worthy but then there's this thing where people are all up in your face ego and it's this...fake sense of self-worth but they know if they lost everyone around them they would feel like nothing so it's this thing like keeping people on leashes and sometimes they can be short and sometimes they can be long and if someone no longer fits that scene that these popular people try to keep on a close leash, they will be dismissed and sometimes in really hurtful ways. Thing is, if someone's been dismissed, it's usually because they're making these people think and question that validity that they hold on to so tightly and any sort of doubt that is placed in these people's brains about that by someone...see ya.

K: Okay. So is this more prevalent in the younger ages or does it happen even in the older ages.

E: Well, let's look at puberty or let's...I mean it happens at all ages but let's look at puberty first.

K: Okay.

E: Hormones racing all the time. People developing at different rates. Minds developing at different rates. Boys know what they want, and some girls can portray that. It's more about vanity.

K: I get that.

E: Yeah. I mean, look what's portrayed that is the standard and I hate that word because it's not. That whole world that you see in the magazines and the runways and the movies and television...that's the biggest popularity clique out there. And that's what is looked up to.

K: I am having the biggest déjà vu moment right now.

E: Cool! Don't you love it? You're jumping through time.

K: Yeah. Something like that.

E: Ha! I know. Something like that. More like reality jumping.

K: Much better.

E: So as I was saying.

K: Go on.

E: Look at the examples right? Not everyone can compete with that but that's mainstream. That's what is looked at as cool or wicked or the norm like we talked about before.

K: Yeah.

E: It's not but these groups form because of this stuff.

K: Are they even close friendships or are they based on narcissistic factors?

E: It's the age Kim. It's the age of all of that.

K: Okay so then if someone doesn't find that very relatable or isn't growing or maturing, physically, at the same speed then they are rarely looked at to join that society.

E: Yeah. I mean it's based on so much of the outside world around them and the portrayal of what has to be in the media or the internet. It's just that some aren't capable of meeting those standards that are completely fucked up that they feel like they fail at being part of that and it shows and so they're dumped. But it's not anyone's fault. It's just...take Leanne's example. There's this competition that hasn't been explained to anyone. It just is which isn't fair and I get that but that's the game right now and because no one knows any rules because they're all made up anyway, people get confused as to why all of a sudden, out of fucking nowhere, they've been dumped. It's hard. Look, kids...groups are going to change based on growth and experience. It's really a rare thing to see kids grow up together these days because there's pressures coming from all directions and examples of how to and what should that people just divert to those corners leaving others wondering what the hell just happened? What the hell did I do to get dumped? Trust me. Nothing was done and to think that a little girl has to feel any sort of responsibility for being dumped is messed up. Circles of friends change depending on the moment. It's a moment to moment thing. But to actually understand that, for little minds in the thick of it, is really difficult to do and it's emotional. These are times where you know who your real friends are and if there is one or two that come to your aid when you've been shoved out of friendships that you thought was on the up and up...they know because they've been there and they are around you to pick you up and dust you off and to give you a new lease on feelings. Look, these people that come to your aid when you've been kicked to the curb...they might not be your friends forever either because as we evolve, relationships evolve and change and new people come in and out. It's like those waves. (he's showing me waves in the ocean) Some will be there to bring you to shore, some will sweep you out to sea but thinking that it's ever someone's fault isn't really helpful.

K: But kids can be jerks.

E: Totally kids can be jerks because they are just learning about socialization and they are just learning about connections and they're just learning about how one seems to have more power over another, right?

K: Right?

E: So it's better to have those in these popular groups and these cliques know that actions hurt and the whole point of living and working together is to breathe that fresh air of new and that people can give that to others regardless of the color of their skin or how smart they are or how they dress. It's time to come out of this mentality that what counts is this superficial bullshit. There needs to be leaders in this. If kids are going through this time of being ignored or being shoved aside than it's really time for someone to step up and show these people compassion and support even if they don't fit this mold that everyone is following.

K: Would it be an idea to teach a kid to know what it is to be an individual and to stand as that. An individual?

E: To a point but here's the thing, this human collective is all about a group effort. Everyone is connected and to recognize that and to put that mentality into action is going to be a hell of a lot better than someone who is taught that they have to be okay as an individual. I get what you're saying though. I get that it's all that personal power stuff and yeah, we could talk about that but to a kid, they still have to go to school and see these kids that snuffed them out. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger...well, sometimes. But when you're in the thick of popularity game, it feels like it's going to kill you. This is the message. Don't hang out with just one group of individuals. Be everyone's friend. Float around. And get rid of this whole popularity idea. It's a concept. It's not real life. Love is real life and love is working together in a heart to heart basis without giving a shit about clothes and hair and what music you listen to. Music...that's important. Trust me. It's so amazing but friendships aren't made or broken by it.

K: And would it be cruel of me to put in that this crap follows people. I mean, I work in an office environment with a lot of women. Let's just say...rumor mills and gossip don't stop.

E: No, but you don't have to participate in it and neither do kids. This is an opportunity for kids to learn about compassion and that words are vicious and can hurt and instead of talking shit about someone, what if, instead, people just picked out one good thing to say to someone or about someone and change that energy. Kids learn by example. If they hear mom and dad talking like that, they're gonna do it too. It's just that way.

K: So what advice do you have to offer to Leanne or anyone who finds themselves in this or watching it.

E: Don't sugar coat it. Don't do that there there shit. It doesn't help. Yeah, you were put aside. You were booted out. You were kicked to the curb but if they so easily did this why do you want that back in your life? Don't attach to it. Show them to take a look around and I guarantee there's always another kid trying to get their attention that wants to hang out or be with them. So what they're not the popular crowd. Who gives a shit. Those relationships that are just waiting to be started are going to be the most fulfilling. Get those kids together to get to know each other outside of the school. Sleepovers and movie nights. Awesome. Get them together for a kid date. There's things parents can do to facilitate new relationships instead of just watching their kid come home with a broken heart because they've attached themselves to an outcome with people that will just do it again and again. It's because it's superficial right? It might not be to the one that's experiencing it. Of course not. And I don't want to sound like I'm being heartless or anything.

K: You are far from heartless, Erik.

E: I'm all heart. I got the Care Bear thing happening.

K: And you teach that very well.

E: Sometimes, it's good to be sympathetic and allow the kid to indulge in a little hurt and angst but when it comes down to it, if a kid is left to live in that and face that every day, it's not helping. As a parent, start those new relationships that don't seem appropriate because it's popular vs. unpopular. That's not even a thing so don't add to it.

K: And for those that read this? Those that are going through it.

E: Broaden your horizons and look, if someone is abusive in any way, you are allowed to stick up for yourself and you are allowed to call them on their bullshit and you are allowed to get anyone involved that will help you in that moment. Getting texts, block 'em. Getting emails, block 'em. Getting tweeted at or shared on Facebook, stop it. Yeah, people have to change schools or get pulled out of schools because this shit gets bad but I'm telling you right now...if it's affecting you that much, you aren't being vocal enough. Bring it. Speak it. Yell it. Whatever to make your voice heard. Seriously. People don't think they're allowed to speak up for themselves and be heard. They think that being silent will make it better. How's that working? It's not. You have a voice. Use it. If something isn't working for you or if people are treating you like shit, you don't have to roll over and take it. Be vocal. Stand up for yourself. Get people involved that will be vocal with you. This is a team effort. This bullying shit has been taken over by fear and it's time to beat it. First step, use your voice. Use your fucking voice. Get teachers involved, get the police involved, get parents involved. If you're keeping secrets that are making you a target...your parents won't give a shit if you tell them the truth if it's only going to support you getting the help you need to use your voice. Secrets are just lives in the dark. Eventually the light comes in but sometimes it's too late. You need permission? I'm giving it to you. Speak up. You see someone being bullied or being shoved out of friendships because they didn't make the cut, speak up. People are entitled to using their voice. If anything, I learned that the hard way and so I'm a really big advocate for it.

K: But when people are up against the wall, voices can get angry.

E: That's just fear with fear. When you speak up in a way that is proactive or productive...that's fucking power. Someone's calling you out? What's anger gonna do? What's tit for tat gonna do? Don't match it. Rise above it. Brush it off.

K: There are so many questions that come out of this. Sometimes brushing it off doesn't work but I get what you're saying.

E: This could go on forever but this is the basics. My point is this one...use your voice. Talk, communicate, do all those things that make you heard. Look at all those leaders that used their voices. Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X., Bob Marley., Lincoln...I could go on and on. Watch them talk. Look at their body language. It was their armor against whatever it was that they couldn't take anymore. It's one of the most powerful tools a person has but it's underappreciated and underutilized only because people don't want to step on toes.

K: Yes. Exactly. So shall we touch on this again another time?

E: I'm all over this one. It's a personal topic for me. I could go into acceptance and all that but I'll save that for another day. People. Kim has to go pee!

K: Great. That's fantastic. Thanks for that.

E: Well you do.

K :I do.

E: Then go.

K: I will.

E: You do that.

K: See ya around.

E: You bet!

K: Take care.

E: Bye.

Conversations with Chris Cornell – Real or Not Real?

Chris is one of these guys that will pop in to say 'hi'. You cannot miss him. He's been showing himself more and more lately and this morning I said we could channel if I had some time and it's like I was handed a slot of time on a silver platter and so we chatted. He wants in on Coming Home so of course...anyone that wants in to this frat house is more than welcome. Today we're talking Real or Not Real. Some surprises in this one for sure. Folklore, fairy tale, mythology. It was a good time. Here's Chris Cornell...

K: Good Mornin'!!!!!

C: (smiling) Good Mornin'. How are you? How are you Kim?

K: I'm good. You've been visiting a lot these days.

C: I have. (points to me) And to Sharon too. I've been stopping by.

K: So...begging for....?

C: (laughing) Can't hide it can I.

K: Nope but you can keep doing it. I love seeing you. You make a person's day.

C: Thank you. Thanks. So yeah...I met up with Paul awhile back. I guess it was, to you...end of March and he was talkin' about what was starting up and I was...What? Really? That's going to work? And he said, Yeah man. It's great. It's really what I've been trying to do.

K: He was?

C: Yeah. He was really trying to create this group energy thing. He had been talking about it for a while.

K: Yeah...he was mentioning it here and there but it really came to the forefront of my mind just lately.

C: Then I just asked if it would be something he saw me doing because I could get into something like that. I thought, you know, that if I'm seeing all these people and making connections and there are these people (gestures to a side) who are making these connections...to bring it all together I was like, Yeah. That's cool. Because you had that woman email you and ask if I was hanging out and it was full stop, Yeah I'm hanging out. She's my bud.

K: You are such a great communicator. Like, you cannot miss your energy. It's just very...there. So thank you for that. And I really mean it. You come in my thoughts sometimes and I always wonder how you are and you look so good. You really do.

C: Don't we all? (laughs)

K: Yes. Of course but you just look so vibrant and young and really...healthy. I mean, how could you not?

C: Yeah. It's pretty easy here. And I'll fill out your forms. Can't say that I'll be altogether truthful on the application. People always lie on job applications.

K: Well...I could make an exception for you but really...the tough sell is Sharon. (joking around)

C: (laughs hard) Yeah...that is not true at all. She's a sweetheart. She really is. Cool. I'm stoked. We'll talk contract later.

K: Well, I already promised my first born to Anton, so...not sure what I could give you.

C: I'm good. I got kids. I'm good.

K: Well, I mean, totally. Welcome. That would be cool.

C: Talk about it. But it would be really cool to join your team. I mean...it's not like it's a club or anything but I like the goal so if I could lend my voice or my energy to that...it would be really cool.

K: Awesome. Well, since you're here...you wanna have some fun.

C: (gets playfully serious) I'm always up for some fun. Fun...let's do it.

K: We could get all serious about some topic on spirituality but what about some legend stuff?

C: (raises an eyebrow) I'm listening.

K: What about some fairy tale folklore conspiracy stuff?

C: Keep talking.

K: Maybe a little game I like to play called...real or not real.

Play the cheesy game show music.

C: Real or not? (picking at his pants) I like it. I'm up for it. That does sound like fun. Also sounds like a little bit of...trouble-making.

K: Okay but here's the thing. You can tell me if they exist and if they do, are they on earth or did they used to be on earth or are they on different planets or realms or dimensions or whatever.

C: Oh man. (rubbing his hands on his pants) I'm actually gonna have to work it here now.

K: Totally gonna have to work for it. But hey...there's no singing involved.

C: So if I want to call something in...should I do that?

K: Uh....okay. (apprehensive)

C: Don't worry. It'll be good. Okay. (claps his hands together) First one.

K: Some people say yes and some people say no but I have dreamt of them and I have felt them so I don't know if my imagination takes over but if I'm smellin' them too...there's gotta be something to them.

C: Smells. Great. Really?

K: Don't worry. Nothing bad.

C: Okay. Let's drum it. (drum roll)

K: And.....

C: (stops drums)

K: Dragons?

C: (laughing) You dream about dragons?

K: I haven't for a while but I have and I was taking it to save the world. No joke. It was HUGE.

C: They are huge.

K: So they're real? On some level they exist.

C: (nods slowly) On lots of levels they do.

K: Okay. Explain. Were they ever on earth?

C: No....well...no.

K: They didn't live on earth?

C: They didn't live on earth. No. But, I mean, they have been seen so...I mean, images that have been drawn, they come from somewhere right? It's like the hieroglyphs in the Egyptian temples. The alien ships. They were seen and drawn on walls of pyramids and caves. Same thing with the dragon. I mean...the images make them a lot more... (puffs out his chest) manly? Scary? (unsure of the word) than they are but yeah. They exist. Just not here. In a land far far away.

K: Are they related to the dinosaur?

C: (shakes head) No. Completely different.

K: Do Beings...have them as pets or use them like in the Game of Thrones or How to Train Your Dragon?

C: (shakes head) No. Actually...some can be pretty deadly. They...don't harm but they have a vicious appetite and they hunt but they hunt mainly...there's a group of stars that make up this planetary system and they hunt there.

K: Really? Wow. Do they hunt here on earth?

C: No. They don't hunt near here. I actually don't think they've made an appearance for a long time here. Just because...I want to say the atmosphere but the...it's like if you try to put your finger through Saran Wrap...it's hard to break through that sometimes. That's sort of what these dragons have trouble doing to come here.

K: Can you call in a dragon's energy?

C: Yes. You can absolutely call in a dragon's energy. So they're not all badass. Some choose to be a guide but they choose to be the guides to those who...I mean, it sounds sort of cliché but to those who've lived in the times depicted by Merlin or the ancient Chinese...those souls that have lived then...they tend to follow that energy.

K: Were they in the times of the unicorn?

C: Before then. The times of the unicorn they were starting to die away. Not die but they couldn't get through that Saran Wrap of energy.

K: That is so friggin' cool. Have you seen them?

C: Well now I do...no. Not really. I haven't...it wasn't really on my list of things to do but now I want to.

K: Anton just showed me he went.

C: I'm sure he has. No doubt. I hear that guy's been everywhere.

K: He has. Okay, so dragons are real but in other realms.

C: Yes.

K: You just called one in. Holy shit.

C: I mean...it's bigger than a horse I guess.

K: You guess. Doesn't breathe fire though.

C: No.

K: Are there different species?

C: Yes. There are different species. I don't think they really blow fire though. No. Can't see any that really do. I think that's a fantasy of the human world.

There's a dragon that's sort of popping it. It's female. It doesn't really want to be here. It's a very dark green...almost black. It's got...not horns but it's definitely got some bony structure on its head. Its eyes are snake like and yellow. Its wings are very close to its body but same color as the skin. The skin isn't leathery. It's sort of like armor. Not like a reptile. Very different. She does not want to be here. She also doesn't like the term dragon because of what humans believe dragons to be. She's showing me she lives in water but can take to the air. I'm being shown because that's safest for her. The place she's from has caves in the water almost like entry points so she dwells under the surface of that...planet.

K: Very interesting.

C: Yeah. Cool. This is really cool. What else can I tell you about them...very different than what humans believe them to be.

K: How would you go about inviting that dragon energy towards you?

C: Just ask. I mean...it's like a stubborn dog. If they don't want to come...they won't but if you dream of them or if you smell that...what is that?

K: To me it's almost like sulfur but not. There's nothing like that I've smelled before. It's sort of irritating my nose a little bit. Drying it out.

C: Well, if you're dreaming of them...that's a calling card.

K: Cool. Anything else on dragons?

C: That's the introduction.

K: Ready for another?

C: Yes.

K: Mermaids.

C: Okay. Here's the thing about mermaids. They aren't mermaids. The thing about mermaids is that they are Beings of Atlantis.

K: Oh boy.

C: I know. Here we go. Conspiracy. But...these were Atlantians. Atlantis had their beginnings in the sea. They still do. Very water connected. Really beautiful people. You know how some people can dive really deep and hold their breath forever and just live in that ocean?

K: Yes. I just saw a documentary on free divers.

C: That's where the story of mermaids comes from but they weren't half fish half human. I mean...beautiful image but the way they swam...those legs were so tight together that it looked like fins, right? Plus...they had larger than usual feet.

K: Really?

C: Yeah. I mean...not grossly but yeah.

K: That's so interesting how those legends turn into something that we would fantasize about.

C: Yeah. I mean...stories have been told but just like that telephone game...facts get distorted or they grow or they get less to suit the storyteller. So I would say mermaids didn't exist in the way a human would think. They were Beings of Atlantis that could swim circles around a human any day.

K: Cool. Unicorns.

C: Yes. The unicorn did exist but it wasn't as majestic as what you would think of it to be.

K: You're right. Sort of goatish.

C: (chuckles) Yeah. Sort of...(looks over to one that's walking up) Disappointing?

K: (laughs)

C: But super great animals. Just really really not here or there. Sort of indifferent. Have great energy though. All those little girls that love their unicorns...definitely call them in. They love kids.

K: I was just shown fairies.

C: Yeah. But fairies still exist on earth. They still have that shadow side and they can be tricky little bastards. The unicorn isn't. But they can be that magical stereotype figure that fairies are.

K: And the horn isn't bone.

C: No. It's sort of a large protruding piece of...I don't know what you'd call that.

K: It's bendy. Flexible. Touch it.

C: Nah.

K: Come on!

He's getting up and going over to this unicorn and sort of trying to (I'm laughing so hard) feel the horn. It's the imagery. Sorry.

C: Not something that's totally great to feel. You know when you get chicken cartilage or those beef bones that look like knuckles and stuff.

K: Sort of.

C: Like chewy but when you bite down on it accidently you spit it out right away. (laughs) That's all I got. You want to talk about this stuff with me?

K: Totally. I've very interested. Goat/donkey.

C: (laughing) Well don't insult the thing.

K: My little pony, my little pony. (singing) Sorry not sorry about my singing voice. He's almost cute though.

C: They were very revered and it was thought that the horn contained a lot of that sorcery magic that could help someone rule the world so they got hunted and were brought to extinction but they've sort of created a home in a safer environment.

K: I like the story about how they all went to the sea to become Narwhals.

C: Is that what they say?

K: Yeah. There's also a story I read to Ireland...I think it's called, Where Did All The Unicorns Go? And it was just this story about how humans destroyed their environments so they had to constantly move on.

C: Yeah. But they did become a dying breed.

K: Cool. Okay. How about the legend of the Banshee?

C: Oh man. Now we're getting to the scary stuff.

K: Well, not scary. Maybe a little eerie.

C: The Banshee comes from the...how do I put this...I'm struggling for words.

K: I got time.

C: Real or not.

K: Real or not.

C: Real...

K: COOL!!!!

C: But (puts a finger up) It's not a spirit. It was based on the stories of women who were...I guess you could call them psychics or oracles or whatever. The screaming and crying came from those who would mourn the death and you could hear the wailing from really far because these people were heartbroken. But the Banshee was really just a witch who could predict death. That's not done anymore...I hope not because that's just not cool but back then...it was done all the time because the fear of death was a lot heavier than now. Especially for people in power. So those mourning wails and the witch that could predict someone's demise were sort of mashed together.

K: Like songs that mashup to make one.

C: This would make terrible music.

K: Then the Banshee did exist but was created by stories of witches/oracles and people who mourned the loss of the dead.

C: Yeah.

K: Because there are stories in Ireland that they had long beautiful hair and they would comb it and if you find a comb don't pick it up because it could be a Banshee's.

C: It is beyond me how anyone would pick up a comb from a street and just use it. Gross.

K: (laughing) No doubt.

C: But that's what I'm talking about. These stories grow from a certain point and they completely become this fiction or they become proof but a story's a story and the Irish are really good at that.

K: They are. I have to agree. Werewolves?

C: Like in Halloween pictures or something like that?

K: Yes. Like Vampires and werewolves.

C: No. Not like that.

K: But....?

C: (There's a pause. He's trying to see how he can talk about it.) It's more like that energy of what you would call a spirit animal. It's more of...like me as I am now, choosing to take the shape of a wolf and present myself like that to someone there. (on earth)

K: What? That's crazy.

C: I know. That's an example. I've never done it.

K: That's crazy!!!! Why would someone do that?

C: I mean...it's all what you gravitate to and some Spirits gravitate more to the animal spirit that they were than the human. You see it a lot in those that work with animals in their lives. When they have that connection to wolves or elephants or sharks or whatever...they want to experience that here because they can and they love it so they offer that to people on earth.

Like a walk-in but with animals.

K That's nuts. I can barely word the images you're giving me. So, I like...I don't know...bees. I could come as a bee to someone but it's me...Kim and I'm gonna sting the crap out of you.

Calm down people. It's not about coming after people in scary forms.

C: Yeah.

K: (laughing and shaking my head) OMG. I'm going to get so many emails from the conversation.

C: (laughing) It's people's willingness to open the box. I hear you and Sharon are good at that.

K: Well...we're learning to.

C: It's a good thing.

K: Okay. Crazy huge lions. Nemean Lion. I've never heard about them but they look so cool. Greek mythology. Real or not real.

C: The idea's pretty righteous. For real. I'd own one.

K: Can't own in spirit.

C: You're right but I'd try.

K: Why don't you just become one?

C: Touché. (chuckles) Not real.

K: Damn!

C: (laughing)

K: What else, what else.

C: There's so many, Kim.

K: I know. It's hard to choose. Cyclops?

C: Not real.

K: Big foot?

C: Real.

K: I heard they smell.

C: Stink it up.

K: I heard. Uh....Leprechauns?

C: Real. Careful of calling them in though. They're temperamental.

K: Pegasus.

C: Real.

K: Get out of friggin' town!!!!!

C: Not on earth.

K: I'm so friggin' excited!!!!!

C: Sort of related to the unicorn.

K: Get out of town!!!!!

C: (laughing) You weren't expecting that?

K: No. Absolutely not.

C: Prettier than the unicorn though. For sure.

K: Cool!!!! So it's not just a Greek god. It's a real thing.

C: Yes.

K: My mind is blown. Okay. I have one.

C: Shoot.

K: The Kraken.

C: Was...(pause for effect) Real.

K: I was expecting that. During those pirate times?

C: Before then. Late dinosaur period. The water dinos were the last to become extinct...I don't think they are extinct actually. There's a few left.

K: Loch Ness Monster.

C: Was real.

K: Get out of here. Where's the body?

C: Gone.

K: Come on.

C: It will stay legend.

He's showing me late 50s she was gone.

K: I was on the fence about that one.

C: A lot of people were or are but she was the real deal. Dino real.

K: Was she as big as people thought she was?

C: Uh...not overly big. Probably about twelve feet.

K: That is so interesting.

He's pretty nonchalant about it.

K: So interesting. Vampires?

C: The real thing or the wannabes or the bats?

K: The real thing?

C: No. That was just a story from the dark ages that grew into what it is now. But...there were some crazy people that lived in castles. Jesus.

K: Yeah. I believe it. Gosh, I'm stumped.

C: A lot of these stories were real. A lot of these creatures did exist it just wasn't in the way they are depicted today. A lot of these beings have the capabilities to travel from their environments to earth and they've been spotted. Does it happen often? Not really. Can we prove it? Not unless you have a photo...I mean, some of these things are just really out of people's perceptions but if you were to call in a dragon or a unicorn or a Pegasus or a mermaid or whatever...you would see it completely differently and wouldn't believe that's what it was because you have this fixed idea on images that are concepts of a human's imagination but they started from somewhere right? They had to have started from somewhere. It's like the arc. Noah sailed during the flood. He sure did but was it this huge boat with a whole bunch of animals? No. It was what he could build and it housed...you know...a farm but not two of every species. The guy could build a good boat. He was the one that was depicted by those who wrote about him but he wasn't the only guy with a boat.

K: Yeah. I hear you.

C: But that's cool. People like their stories and they like to sort of just escape into them and when you create these stories...the base...that imagination starts from somewhere and a good storyteller has usually lived those lives...they've experienced those things and it's coming up from a place they can't explain.

K: So when I write a story...do I create a place that exists?

C: Yeah...for the time you write that story...that place is created and if you were to die tomorrow while writing it...you could go there but it's only for as long as you're a participant in that story and it's a personal world. When a reader reads...that world is created but when the book is done...the world closes because it's personal for the reader...it's personal for the writer and when you come here and you remember the books you read...you can live those stories as you believe you would when you're reading or writing them but it's a personal thing.

K: So Oz isn't a real destination....

C: It is when you read the book or if you want to see that story live you can participate in that but it's not a real place. Narnia...go there. Live that but your scientists will never find it in space because it's a personal world. Go see the unicorn....go swim with the mermaids that you believe real and live in that story for a bit but then you can see where it comes from and the truth of it and sometimes...when you see the truth of it...it's better than what you were made to believe, based on another's imagery.

K: Wow. That's very smart. I can get with that for sure.

C: So there's always truth to stories or fables or fairytales on some level. Lancelot...Guinevere...they were depicted as real but someone wrote that story based on people that they witnessed. To some they existed and they did but in a different way than what's assumed.

K: So if I decided to believe in dragons and someone else said they were told they never existed...it that just my belief and when I get to Spirit Land I'm going to be mighty surprised that they don't. That's just an example because I do believe they exist on some level.

C: It's the dragon perception. They do exist and they will exist to people that resonate with that depiction but the actual thing will be different than the assumption it's based on.

K: Which ones better? The story or the real deal?

C: I mean...they're pretty close, Kim. The real one's always better but they really don't like the spotlight.

K: Yeah. I got that. Anything else on real or not real?

C: Hhhmmm...I have a feeling it might come up in one of those Circle Times. I think this was just an introduction to get people to think.

K: It got me thinking. It's very cool. I'm going to have to go riding with Anton one of these nights. I have one more. (Got a text)

C: (smiles) Hey Sharon.

K: Pixies vs. Fairies. Are they the same?

C: Oh man. I'm looking. Fairies...deal with the Fairies. Pixies...trouble makers. Tricksters and hard to get rid of. Like little Elves on Shelves.

K: Really?

C: Oh yeah. Can be a little bit of a pest if you get on their bad side.

K: Centaur. Real or not real?

C: Real.

K: Oh my God!!!! You're blowing my mind!!!!

C: (laughing) Is that a good thing?

K: I was totally expecting you to say no.

C: I love your face right now.

K: Jesus! For real? Male or female or both.

C: Male. Just male energy.

K: Physical?

C: Not anymore.

K: How real is Greek Mythology?

C: Some is very real. It's like...some people believed that Jesus was the son of God. He is the son of God but some people think he was just a prophet. Some people think he was just a man. But he was a man on earth. We won't get into the politics of him because I'm not here to convince people of anything. He is a really cool guy though. Whatever. Same with Greek Gods. Some lived...as powerful human beings or just people...depending on who you talk to but there is truth to legend. That's how the legend starts.

K: Horus is real. I've felt his presence.

C: Very real. Big guy.

K: Yeah. I totally get that. So ride your dragon if it comes to you. Fairies and pixies...respect...unicorns not so great for a cuddle and mermaids got my big feet.

C: (laughing hard) But you're not the best swimmer.

K: No. I like the water but I don't like my head underneath.

C: So no mermaid shells or tail.

K: Not unless you paid me a large sum of money.

C: Fair enough.

K: Okay Chris. I have to wrap up. Go say hi to the fam...I'll get a small bio written and your pic on the wall...I actually have a feeling the wall will get rather long in length.

C: (leans forward and puts his hand to his mouth like he's telling a secret) Kim...you have no idea.

K: Thought so.

C: See you soon.

K: Chao babe.

C: See ya. Happy Friday the 13th.

K: Real or not real?

C: (spooky laugh) Real.

Gone!

Conversations with Spirit Guide Simon – Spinning Tires and Emotions

So earlier this week I got the idea of trying to build a photo that was Simon. What a pain in the ass. Layering, editing, coloring, cutting, pasting... ugh. There are reasons I'm not a photographer. He was pretty good about being the model for my computer canvas and the finished result left my hands shaking and heart thumping. It was like a reunion in person. He said it's pretty accurate although I wish I could age the photo but haven't been able to without him looking like an old man. Because he's not. He died at 32. In any event, if you want to see the photo, email me. Today we dabbled in feeling blah and emotions. Here's Simon...

K: Seriously pushy this morning, Simon.

S: (chuckles) Do you require and apology for me ringing your phone continuously until you decide to pick it up?

K: No. I'm good. How are you?

S: Very well, thank you. And you?

K: I'm okay.

S: Okay? Well...I suppose that will do. Have you had your coffee yet?

K: No. I have not.

S: Well there it is then. What are you waiting for?

K: I have a set time for coffee...I've always had that time for that particular task to my day.

S: (raises eyebrow) Really, is it that important?

K: I guess not.

S: I'll have tea.

K: (laughing) Yes sir. I don't think I have that kind of tea but I'll check. (I only have herbal)

S: No rush. (I'm stalling) Dearest?

K: Okay. (I guess I'm getting coffee and tea.) So, is this a social call?

S: (smirks) Why, do you wish to work?

K: We'll see? What? What's going on? (he keeps staring at me with a goofy grin)

S: (smiles) Nothing is going on. The image you have built of my face. It's quite good. Will you share it?

K: Only for those that ask.

S: Hhhmmm...They are curious.

K: Well, it was fun for me. Pretty close from the feelings you were giving me.

S: It is...accurate as how I was in that life. I do believe that if one were to look at me...now, they would go blind.

K: Pretty bright stuff, hey?

S: A human cannot see such things at this time. It is bright. But it is a color that cannot be described on your planet.

K: You've shown me before.

S: I showed you an example, Kimberly.

K: Well, good enough. Anyway, that was fun. A little frustrating to get things just right. I think I have Ryker pretty down. That was easier. He told me that I couldn't recreate such beauty. I laughed...it might've been insulting.

S: (chuckles) Well, images fail to recreate heaven in an accurate way but those who create with what they feel or know without knowing...they come close with the tools they have.

K: Is heaven a correct term? There are so many terms for heaven but if I were to ask you about heaven would it be an accurate word to use?

S: It is what you know and so we work with that. The better term...and you are correct in understanding me, would be the Heavens for where we reside is not a singular term. You cannot...define Source or Infinite in the singular. It is impossible. (sips tea) That's very good.

K: Well, I can only create so much for you guys in terms of food or drink. You have to take it the rest of the way.

S: Yes, but you were also told of intention in such things.

K: Yes.

S: Intention is the flavor.

K: Cool. So, since you're here, let's talk.

S: Very well.

K: Let's talk emotions.

S: In what sense?

K: In...how do I put this because I might not start with emotions.

S: It will lead there, eventually.

K: Probably. Okay...feeling stuck or feeling blah or feeling like you just don't want to do anything. Almost feeling lazy but there's an underlying feeling of sad or frustration or even giving up?

S: Lack of movement in one's life tends to affect a life in all ways.

K: What do you mean?

S: If people wish to move forward...why do they tend to stay still? Why do they wish to only know what they know and in that, expect something different? Where is the idea of branching out? If one knows...things...that is only the tip of one's iceberg. As you are well aware, the iceberg is rather large and sinks ships.

K: But...why do we get into the funks? Like...we try to take one step forward but there's nothing and we try to take another and nothing and it just becomes this spinning tire when we're trying to do or accomplish something.

S: What do you expect as you spin your tires?

K: Movement. Getting unstuck.

S: Interesting. With the same mentality and thought process you wish to feel...unstuck.

K: But how are we to get to the next thing if we spin tires, and this is without realizing, because we feel that we are ready to take on new things or new directions but it just doesn't go anywhere.

S: And one wishes for a new direction with information they already know?

K: But to get new information...we have to go there to get it.

S: Yes. Dearest...do we make sense?

K: I don't know. Should I care?

S: Hhhmmm...let us break it down.

K: Sure.

S: First, if you are spinning your tires or you are feeling as if you don't want to progress because what's the point...you fail to acknowledge what you have discovered and what you have been given. If one is spinning their wheels, they are not using their talents or knowledge to its full extent and they will not progress if they do not begin to acknowledge and use what they have already been given in broader or more than terms. This (spinning tires) usually happens when one believes they require more but neglect to give gratitude for what they have now. If one is feeling stuck and frustrated, they fail to recognize or celebrate the steps they have taken to get to this place of now. They, too, also look ahead without acknowledging their now. If one was to be present in their now, they would see much that they fail to see because they are looking to the horizon for a full sun but the sun has not risen yet nor will it if you refuse to witness the dawn.

K: Riddles? Really?

S: (smiles) Yes. Really. It is a metaphor, Sweetheart. People require examples.

K: So if people are feeling stuck or lethargic or that nothing's coming, they aren't living in their present.

S: No. They are not. As well, those who fear the future will continue to live in their past. They will continue to...reminisce and not in the flighty romantic notions that the word tends to dictate. They tend to reminisce on regret.

K: Which perpetuates the feelings of sadness or whatever.

S: Yes. Not always but yes.

K: I've heard that gratitude goes a long way in shaping futures or even for being able to receive from...guides or angels or the heavens.

S: It is true for when one practices gratitude it opens space. It opens one to cross boundaries that were assumed to be there but are not. It opens the mind to information...you would call it downloads. I would call them bright ideas. They are the same thing. Gratitude puts one in a space of receiving. It puts one in a place of...well, I may as well try. Humans tend to think that if one tries they will fail so what is the point of trying. But if one were to think of trying as a chance...would that not change the emotion around the word?

K: Yes. It would. Something like...I was given a chance. It sounds and feels more expansive than, I'll give it a try. I'm not sure if I can translate what I'm feeling. More a lightness.

S: Chance...it is not a gamble. It is an opportunity.

K: Why do you always do that?

S: What?

K: Sometimes when you twist things...it leaves me speechless.

S: Is that not the point? (winks) To give you things that you've never thought of before and that you cannot defend with what you might already know?

K: I guess that's the whole learning curve.

S: It is. You fail to...be able to argue.

K: You like the arguing.

S: I do. If only to open your eyes. It is a...good thing that you do not feel that you have lost some sort of battle though. Then the arguing would be...less fulfilling.

K: I find that when I argue...I can gain more because I pull more from you that way.

S: It is that part I play and willingly.

K: I've spoken and written about gratitude before...

S: Yes.

K: And...if a person is stalled or in a funk...it's hard to be gracious about it.

S: What if there was a true purpose to the funk.

K: Oh my God...coming from you...that word sounded hilarious.

S: It is not the word I would use and this is how much I love you.

K: (laughing hard) Because you're using slang?

S: Quite.

K: Okay...Simon. Let's funk it up. Let's talk about being grateful for the funk.

S: What if the stalling...if the funk...if the spinning the wheels was to give one the opportunity of feeling grateful for the life they have lived up until this point? Why do humans fail to realize the worlds in which they exist...of their own choices, plans and decision and simply honored their moment as being something that...it was the best they knew how to do at the time? Instead...they jump to the next and the next trying to top some sort of list of defeat or stalled moment. What if...one was enough just as they are at that moment and realized it without feeling as if they lacked in some way? What if one stopped comparing their progression or their life and lived in their own shoes? The pause is on purpose. The pause is to look oneself in the mirror and thank them for getting this far in life and to be gracious about all that has happened as a result of the choices they have made. This is power. This is also allowing one to prepare or trust that a new chapter is on the horizon. Enjoy the quiet. Have you heard that term? Enjoy the quiet?

K: I have.

S: The quiet says much. She speaks much. She shows much. It is a time to...go within, you say. Why, in the moments of quiet, does one wait for another shoe to drop or does one become melancholy for something that is not quite ready to be birthed? A child emerging from its mother does not wish for the birthing process. It is painful for the child as well. It wishes to stay in the moment of stillness and quiet because it is forming and molding and becoming in that stillness. It does not resent the womb. It does not feel sad for being stuck within its mother's belly. It is a comfortable place of preparation.

K: Well, when you say it like that. It's hard to understand why we need to feel sad or frustrated but...

S: There is always a but.

K: Sometimes we don't know that there is something going on behind the scenes or we don't know that we're in, yet, another birthing process or whatever. How do we know so that we can stay in gratitude and not go into frustration or depression because life isn't going our way?

S: I could say to you breathe. I could say to you trust. I could say many things. How would one know that they are stalled or if they are just frustrated? Are they stalled because their frustration has taken over or are they frustrated because they are stalled?

K: So what came first, the chicken or the egg?

S: One creates the other. Emotion...on the darker end of the spectrum creates just as much and just as thoroughly as the lighter spectrum. What if one was simply...at peace. What if one was simply...in the middle. There would be no sink...there would be no flight. There would just be...grounded.

K: (laughing) Simon!!!

S: (smirks) Ah. You see.

K: Yes. I see.

S: Is it not...eye opening? Would one be good with...being grounded. Being present. For when one is present...there is trust. There is breath...there are all these things that people know of but it is not forced. It happens naturally and in that natural state of awareness...there is gratitude which opens up space for more.

K: There's always these analogies...birth, cocoon...all of these things that we can picture. We rarely believe in that...take a step in any direction because we need to be told what direction that is. I get wait. I'm so sick of getting wait I can't even tell you. Because, for me, progress comes with one foot in front of the other.

S: During a hike...even the most sure footed...the strongest...must take breaks and look at a map or look at a compass or simply take in the scenery to know of which direction to continue or to change. Which direction pulls at a heart...at the gut and if one was grounded into their moment...they would hear this as the whispers of change or to keep going.

K: Do people sort of...fear is a strong word but do people resist hearing the quiet voice because the shouts would be more...something that's not questioned so much. Does change or keep going ever yell or call out?

S: In situations where it must be something immediate...then yes. The signs will be everywhere and the progress or change will be quick. In these instances...the change is usually looked at as something to grieve or mourn...it is swift as a blade and it cuts. This is the Tower in your Tarot. There is always a sunrise after a battle. There is always a sunrise after what one might assume would be the worst possible. But, one does not reminisce about a battle in terms of regret. One can remember the battle as something that provoked change...needed change. Challenges, cuts, what one might perceive as a war...either externally or internally...are never for reasons other than a forward jump into an existence that one is ready for but continues to spin their wheels.

K: Is that the impatience of spirit? Of the Universe...to create those swift cuts or changes?

S: No...it is the mixture of the impatience and the frustration of the human being. It is...at times...what one would call a reflection...a projection or a reality created by that which one chooses to live in. We love. We do not get impatient.

K: Because impatience is a measurement...somewhat, of time.

S: Yes.

K: Emotions...do they run the show? We are always told to connect with our emotions but are we to live in emotional ways?

S: A human being is not a robot.

K: No but emotions can run high or they can run low and is being grounded also continuing to be in touch with your emotions? With your emotional body? Or is it just that emptiness, neither here nor there thing?

S: Being grounded is being gracious? Is grace not a state of peace or wellbeing and, in turn, is that not a feeling of joy...of happiness...of contentment? Is a feeling not based on an emotion?

K: Let's talk about...is the emotional body sort of like a sponge?

S: (grins and strokes his chin) It can be. Yes.

K: Is it more of sponge with people who are really in touch with their emotions or maybe not even in touch with them but...they feel more or they are affected more by their emotions and the emotions of others?

S: You speak of empaths?

K: Do I? I'm just asking questions that pop in. Not everyone is an empath.

S: No. They are not and that is not necessarily a label that I would use for the human being for all have the capabilities of being empathetic but some just have...an easier time with it.

K: It's not always easy being an empath.

S: It is not. It is not always easy to be emotionally severed either. So where is the balance?

K: Don't know.

S: Humans have taken on the task to be dualistic in nature. They have honored the challenge of...feeling and because of the duality and the spectrum of love...they are capable of feeling it all. Feel it. Do not live in it.

K: But what about living in joy?

S: You speak of joy as one who continuously skips through the tulips and sings on mountain tops. It is grounded in all things. It is feeling high and coming back into the body. It is feeling low and then coming back into the body. The body is the measurement. You cannot live in the depths of an ocean for it is cold and dark. Nor can you live in the clouds for even birds must land. Feel it. Experience it. Do not dwell. This is where peace thrives. This is where contentment thrives. Yes. The emotional body is there and it feels and it absorbs and it reminisces and it remembers and it brings you back to holidays at eight years old or it takes you back to the passing of your beloved dog when sixteen. But...you do not live there. The emotional body will also project you into a future you dream of and give you euphoric feelings of anticipation and excitement. But you do not live there. If you lived there, you would deny the peace and contentment of the now. There is stability but, at times, it is hard won. The emotional body is an up and down movement...quite like a wave. It peaks and crests and falls but it always touches land.

K: I've heard that it would be a great idea to acknowledge emotions...all emotions because we do feel so much. I find that there are a lot of suppressed emotions because sometimes people think that it would be better to continuously be that stable person and just sort of stuff down or ignore feelings. They can't allow themselves too much happy or joy because maybe it would be immature or they can't allow too much sadness or anger because that would also be...maybe immature or looked at as not being able to handle much. So how do we let them go? The emotions that peak or drown because sometimes the mind grabs hold of these things.

S: (nods) It does.

K: I guess...how do we live more in the heart in a way that is balanced but allows us to sometimes wallow or allows us to be euphoric. Because, as humans, we need those moments.

S: How many individuals allow themselves to cry? Why does it look bad or it makes one feel uncomfortable if they cry? It is a cleanse. Why do people stifle their laughter? Why do people feel the need to suppress such a thing as laughter? Maybe they snort. Maybe it's boisterous. Maybe it's an annoying cackle. Whatever the case may be...in both cases...it is a cleanse. It is a release. It must be done. So why suppress what is a natural need for the emotional body? As this is done...as one cries or as one laughs, the heart is emptied and is able to stay in that...natural state. As one breathes, the heart beats...it is natural. After a run, one is able to calm the breath. Same is true for the heart. The run or the activity is simply the cry or the laugh. Allow the emotions. Experience the emotions. Allow the physical to work them out or enjoy them so the emotional body is then brought back to center. The cry and the laugh are at opposite ends. This is true. But humans are dualistic and as such, will experience it. Cultivate the comfort to experience...unapologetically and this comes with allowing one to be vulnerable.

K: Yeah. Being vulnerable. Totally. Walks hand in hand with emotions.

S: It is the tearing down of borders. It is the tearing down of walls. It is...The Tower. And there is always a sunrise. There is always a new day.

K: Is it wrong to feel expectation? Is it wrong to feel like a person should be further a long?

S: It is never wrong. It is the way one feels which is never wrong. Never put a judgement call on feeling a certain way but...the judging comes from comparing lives...comparing experiences. There is a pace to life and this pace is as individual as a fingerprint. So you can fight with your personal timelines or you can surrender to the trust that is Divine timing. If one is feeling lethargic or stalled or simply spinning the tires of their car...there are larger pictures...works of art that cannot be unveiled yet. The paintbrushes are still wet.

K: What are the little steps that we can take in those forward directions? Even just one.

S: Review. Re-look. Has something been missed? Have you questioned yourself on the points you simply don't want to look at but the answers you seek are in that which you refuse to give your time to. What are you ignoring? What are you not paying attention to and what are you seeking attention from while playing ignorant?

K: Ignorant or not really knowing what you want? Being indecisive?

S: Which would lead to procrastination.

K: Yes. Another form or ignoring something that needs to be done.

S: It is.

K: You're so smart.

S: As are you, Darling. As are you.

K: (sighs)

S: (sighs)

K: I love you.

S: (smiles shyly) I love you.

K: Wanna fight?

S: (loud laughter) Kimberly. (shakes head) I would with no other.

K: I know. Anything else on this everywhere but here sort of conversation?

S: It was rather...Kimberly-esque.

K: I don't know any other way to do it accept by talking out loud.

S: I see no harm in speaking out loud or out of turn as long as one speaks.

K: Wanna hang out?

S: As always, yes. I am but...

K: ...a breath away.

S: And so it is.

His hugs are heart squeezes.

Conversations with Anton Yelchin – The Shadow Side

Always nice when Anton comes for a visit. We listened to Matt Kahn this morning talk about respecting the shadow part of you then we talked about it.

K: Hi Anton.

A: (smiles) Hey yourself. How's things?

K: Things are okay. How are you?

A: There is no reason not to be good. I'm all colors of good.

K: What's up?

A: Just thought I'd come by and say hi and connect. It's been a little bit since I grounded to someone so I thought I'd just come in and visit.

K: Well, it was really nice to see you this morning.

A: That talk you were listening to...it's a pretty cool way to look at things like that but not easy to do. I wonder how that will go over with all the people that listen to it.

I was listening to Matt Kahn

K: Well, you would know.

A: I mean, the people who are really in it, this whole getting Spiritual thing, are gonna try it but I think that it's gonna take a lot of effort because that's not really something that can so easily be respected.

I was listening to a talk about respecting the shadow part of yourself which is hard to do because it's everything that you want to just put aside and not experience while on this path to 'wake up' and be 'enlightened'.

K: Well, no because no one wants to look at the bad stuff and respect it because we aren't supposed to have bad thoughts or bad days or feel powerful in those feelings or give those feelings power.

A: But see, that's the hang up isn't it. It's not bad or good. It is and it's part of everyone and the fact that it doesn't have a voice that will be listened to or acknowledged makes completes sense. I mean, look at anyone who speaks or who lives or who feels and look how lonely a person feels when those feelings or that person are not being acknowledged. They act out. They either go into a depression or they get angry and their behavior turns out to affect people in harmful ways. I mean, it's part of the human condition to want to act out to get attention when you feel you're not being acknowledged. The human condition is both parts. It's light and dark. This world is full of that yin yang stuff. To only acknowledge the yang while ignoring the yin...there's a lack of equality there.

K: I don't know if the word equality is...I get the feeling of it but maybe the balance of it?

A: Isn't it the same. It's the scales. To give so much attention to the light, that scale is going to get pretty heavy and look what rises only because it's not given any sort of attention. Those shades of dark. It's rising up and it rises up and acts out in, sometimes, inappropriate behavior. I think that if you didn't place any sort of blame or hate or shame to that shadow aspect but with this sense of detachment just respected the fact that it was a part of you, that's just giving it what it needs in regards to that attention and the scales start to even out.

K: To give the shadow aspect of yourself attention, is it then giving it permission to continue acting out or rising up or is it just acknowledging its existence and the fact that we have both aspects?

A: I don't think that it has to do with giving it any of your energy. I think it's just this act of, like Matt said, I respect how powerful you are (shadow) because if you look at it, sometimes that anger or that sadness or that disbelief or that shame...it can overpower a person for a while so in that respect, it's a powerful thing that is a part of you in that form of ego. I think that if it was told, yeah, I see how overwhelming you can be. I respect your power, then it would be easier to overcome or to make peace with whatever it is that ego's got you in a state about.

K: Would it be the same as acknowledging it then letting it go.

A: Letting it go? Hhhmmm. What if it was acknowledged as a part of your being and instead of letting it go, let it rise within you to have you lift it to a place where it can then be loved. You don't have to be the one to love it but if you come into this life thinking that you only have to love the good parts about you, then there's that imbalance. What if you just loved all of you, gave all of you the respect you deserve and that includes the shadow and then be able to give it to God or give it to the Universe where that, then, has the power to ultimately take that ego and transform it and transmute it to that love energy everyone's always talking about. I mean, it makes complete sense because then you're respecting and accepting all parts of you.

K: And what about with another person that has hurt you so bad and has held power over you. Are you then giving the permission to the abuser to abuse you more when you say, I respect your power.

A: I get what you're saying and if you think that respecting the power of another person's shadow is going to make it continue...let's just say that you were being bullied okay. And you turned to your abuser and you said, I respect that power you have. I respect it. Do you think that person will continue to abuse you in that second or do you think they would take a step back and say, 'what?'. It takes that moment and it freezes it in that bubble of shadow being respected. So bully guy's shadow is being acknowledged because he's never been acknowledged in his whole entire life and so he acts out in those ways that he's experienced for years and you, by giving that acknowledgement to his shadow, have just become so powerful because that compassion and love within you just took over the whole situation and all sides were witnessed and respected.

K: I understand but I shake my head because I think, in other people's eyes, you're just giving a person permission to still be an asshole. I think it just validated that asshole aspect.

A: But then the temper tantrum stops. It's not rewarding the behavior. It's not like giving in to a child when they're throwing themselves on the ground because she can't have this or that. It's about telling that child, I hear you and I'll be right with you and if you want this then you have to eat your vegetables first or some crap like that. You always say to work with behavior whether that behavior is 'bad' or 'good'. It's about communicating with your whole being, what it is you need even if it's the needs of the shadow and to recognize that and work with it. To just ignore it and assume it's going to go away...it's not going to go away because a person was born here to be both book ends. There's this really wide space filled with all sorts of books, right? But what's holding them up and together. It's the two ends. So keeping one end all pristine and shoving more books into that end is just going to make the other fall to the floor with all the books on the other side. Then there's that mess to clean up.

K: I like your gentle way of making books and book ends an example.

A: Okay. You don't just take care of and clean half of your body. You take care of the whole thing. You don't just brush half your teeth. You brush 'em all. You don't just comb one side of your hair, you brush the whole thing because if you don't take care of both sides, one side is going to react and bring with it, things that need a lot more attention than if the whole thing was taken care of in the first place.

K: Agreed. So respecting the power of all these shadowy feelings is allowing them to be heard and acknowledged that they are a part of you and then that will...I want to say integrate.

A: Yeah. It's just paying attention to all of you instead of just one side. I wouldn't say it's giving permission. I'm just saying that you can go through life at war with yourself or you can go through life at peace with yourself and once you have peace with yourself then that peace will attract the peace in others and the work that you have done to create this...acceptance will then create that in others. That whole idea that a kid has to be seen and not heard. I can tell you one thing...that kid that wasn't heard will be heard when he or she is old enough to make that so. (sits back) I just thought it was a really great concept and a cool way to look at it.

K: Yes. He is very cool and if people don't think anything of it, then that may be a big indication of what they aren't willing to accept or respect about them.

A: Yeah and there's nothing wrong with that. It's just part of the journey, right?

K: Yes. This journey keeps coming up in my communications with Spirit or things that I'm reading or listening to. That word journey keeps coming up.

A: I know and there's a lot of people that think there's this grand ending where you win like this big lotto and it's true but the expectations that people put on their spirits kind of make that lotto winning take a back seat.

K: Ah. It's the whole expectation thing.

A: Expect the best. Expect it. Expect the greatest outcome. Expect that everything you wish for will come true. Just don't place that on the journey because the journey can look so different than what you expect it to look at just based on that destination.

K: Yeah. It's like that saying, keep your eye on the prize but what is the prize based on? Is it ego desire or is it truly what you need to bring you love and bring you joy and bring you peace.

A: I think that everyone's ego desires have that perception around them. That life will begin when I get a,b,c and or d. But then, whatever that represents will come and the person will be like, now my life will be great when I get e,f,g and or h. It's just this never ending cycle right. What I've learned from here is that a lot of people on earth are run by cycles. Whether it be Karmic or just expectations. There's always this cyclical thing about it.

K: Does Karma really play a huge part anymore like it used to?

A: Depends on what you believe. If you don't want Karma to be a pain in your ass than it won't. If you always fall back on the excuse that it's Karma, Karma's coming to get me, I must have done something really terrible in a previous life because here's Karma well then it's going to be a big part of your existence.

K: Yes. And don't be linear on my account. I can get with all lives. Previous?

A: Oh sorry, look who I'm talking to. (laughs)

K: I thank Erik.

A: Yeah.

K: Whenever you come for a visit I'm always amazed at the depth of you. There's just this ocean of Anton and it leaves an impression on me. Always.

A: Thanks. I'd like to think that I leave a lasting impression on people.

K: I'm pretty sure you did and I'm pretty sure you still do. Is it easy to maintain that depth when you cross over?

A: The depth you feel is only me as I come as Anton. (meaning that higher aspect) There's so much more. It's just really tough to explain in words. So it's feeling that, that is so important.

K: So I feel you as a deep thinking...almost like a philosopher. Would you present that way to another when they thought of you?

A: Depends on our history together. I could come to you as what you feel because that's how we were introduced but if a friend of mine is just going to remember the adventures and good times we took, then I'll come as that. It's what people can connect to in regards to the person that was a part of their lives because we all had different relationships and they all felt different. So it's kind of like a fingerprint with different people.

K: I get it. So it's not a seeing thing but a feeling thing based on the impact or the presence that you had with each individual person.

A: Yeah and since I came to you as that ME, you'll feel me way differently than any friend of mine would. If anything, it's more than... not that there's more than. It's just in a broader and bigger way that kind of gets siphoned down to my face, my voice, my mannerisms.

K: Cool. And that goes for everyone, I guess.

A: Yeah. It's pretty amazing and a total mind fu.. I won't swear.

K: Swear away.

A: Mind fuck.

K: Well for some people, it totally is.

A: Absolutely.

K: Anything else on shadow or anything else to share.

A: Just, 'Hey Kim, Just thought I'd call, see what's up. Want to have a coffee?'

K: Anytime I will have coffee with you.

A: I love that answer.

K: But I have to go. (work is work)

A: Cool. See you soon.

K: I hope.

A: Bye.

Conversations with Spirit Guide Ryker – Omnipresence

I never had an older brother. Maybe we've been siblings before. Who knows? What's the connection between Ryker and I? Whatever it is...he's a great one to have on a team. I said that I would be including him in some channels. When the topic of omnipresence came up, he was front and center. This is a huge topic and not one that has a start point or an end point. It's just what I could make of it with, well, me. Here's Ryker. If you guys have any other questions, just let me know and I'll do a part two.

K: You don't sneak up on a girl do you?

R: Is there a reason that I should? Do you enjoy the element of surprise? A boo here and there?

K: I've kind of got used to the whole no warning thing a long time ago. You were eavesdropping.

R: I was. Is that wrong?

K: Well, no. I guess I can't really reprimand you for eavesdropping or reading over my shoulder.

R: Then I won't apologize. First things first. How are you? You've been busy.

K: I have been very busy. How are you? How's things...in your end of the universe?

R: (laughs) I don't dwell in your universe but things in mine are very good.

K: They would have to be.

R: How's that? (scratches his ear as he asks)

K: I sort of have this assumption that universes beyond ours are older and more 'mature' so things would have to be good. It's just something I figure.

R: You figure. Well, allow me to enlighten you that there are earths that are in different universes that are two steps back from the one you live in now. So...if you are to measure how well a universe is doing...it would be difficult to do that. Perception is limited and this is how it's meant to be.

K: Yeah. Perception. Blah.

R: (chuckles) Blah?

K: It's all different.

R: And why is this something to blah about?

K: One day we'll be on the same page.

R: You are right about that. Thoughts will continuously differ but the goal of letting bygones be bygones will come. Soon. Sooner than later.

K: I tell people that differences are awesome.

R: They are. It's individual...perfection.

K: I like that. Individual perfection which leads to acceptance.

R: Yes. That's part of it. Have I asked you how you are?

K: I think so. I'm good. How are you?

R: I'm well. Yes. We did do this. Are we stalling?

K: Kind of. I just don't know how to ask about this and translate it so it would be understandable.

R: I thought this was a personal blog and those who want to read it, will, and those who don't, won't.

K: True. Very true.

R: So, speak and ask honestly and I will do the same. By the way, Simon gives his regards. You have created a very busy boy.

K: He's a boy?

R: Well, I guess...(chuckles) he's very young looking isn't he?

Ryker and Simon look very different from each other. Ryker is more rugged...I guess. Simon's more from a Gillette razor commercial.

K: He's got that boy next door youth handsome face. Yeah. Boy....he hears me. He's laughing.

R: (laughing along) Then we should speak quieter. (whispers a little bit)

K: Please.

R: You're right. There's no hiding from him. He's everywhere.

K: Nice intro.

R: It is, isn't it?

K: Omnipresence. Hard to wrap the brain around this one.

R: Because you hold the word to a measuring stick...A compass....something that is a peace of a pie. And yet...it is not.

K: Okay. See. This is the thing. As humans, our minds try to break things down so they are understandable and while I appreciate, that in a channel, I don't think that I could ever really and truly understand the whole concept of omnipresence...I share it like I understand it. For me...it's a part of the whole.

R: It is a whole of the whole.

K: See...now I've already started getting frustrated.

R: I know. It's one of the qualities that makes you stand out from the crowd. Your willingness to fight and converse and....nitpick.

K: (laughing) Did you just say I nitpick?

R: Did I? Look, I cannot break down the word for you although others have tried. We will just simplify it. Yes?

K: Okay. I have some questions.

R: I'm aware. I say the whole of the whole but in a human mind that equates to a part of the whole. Energy exists. It cannot be broken down. It is a sum of its parts and the parts remain whole. You have described, to your readers, the soul is a part of the spirit but they are interchangeable. The spirit comes with the soul and the soul returns to the spirit.

K: I'm...shit. (sighs)

R: Do you regret the question?

K: No. I'm just seeing so much in my head that I'm trying to verbalize it.

R: Don't worry. It will be done in the way it needs to.

K: Let's just start with the whole of the whole.

R: Okay.

K: What?

R: Think of your currents. It is not separate from the main one. It remains as the same where it started. It simply travels. In you language you break it down to soul and spirit and this is correct but it doesn't change. The makeup is still the same. It does not grow weaker as it travels away from itself. It is very powerful. It remains energy.

K: There are weaker currents that travel away from the bigger one.

R: Because man has allowed it to be this way. They must guide it. They must have the correct wiring so it does not create fire. It must be contained. But in the beginning, without the traps or the confinement of man...it is the same strength. Yes, you have your wattage. You have your little plugs that allow only so much but this has been manipulated and controlled by human beings. In the beginning...it was simply energy. But it is never destroyed. The energy is always there. If you have a power outage you could say that it was caused by too much and it blew a fuse. If you have too little...there's some sort of block in the path. But it is still energy. It is the human that...

K: Breaks it down and apart; manipulates it but can never fully destroy it.

R: Yes....yes. Where I am...it is not manipulated or controlled. It is free. It travels as the whole. It is not restricted. You can talk about fractals and bridges and so forth but these are concepts produced by man to understand it because there is limitation here. Spirit does not exist in limitations. It is expressed in its oneness...in its unity. In its wholeness.

K: We sometimes think that when we incarnate that part of us breaks from the whole and resides in whatever form. What if we began to think that we are still that 100%...just contained in a body...

R: That containment is perceived as a restriction by many. It is housing the energy in one of your big grey boxes and you only allow it to travel in small amounts when it is needed.

K: Because if we were to let it (energy/electricity) just exist without some sort of containment...it wouldn't be pretty.

R: But...if you were to allow the energy of you...the wholeness of you, live and breathe in a way that is not contained...would that be dangerous? Or would that be heaven on earth?

K: The body as a container for energy. But sometimes it comes out.

R: Yes. It does. Lights flicker. A spark of static which is truly mini lightning bolts...isn't it amazing, Kimberly, that the body produces mini lightning rods, feels the spark and thinks nothing of its importance, only the annoyance of it?

K: I've never thought of it that way. (pausing) When people transition...that freedom of being unleashed from the body...is it relieving or frightening?

R: (shrugs) Depends on their understanding. Some, it's extremely liberating. For some...a caged animal that has tasted freedom for the first time. It's intimidating.

K: Do they learn to come out of that quickly?

R: Quickly? You want me to measure?

K: Nice.

R: I will measure for you. Yes. It would be quickly as if I have snapped you awake with my fingers. In your time...it could be weeks. One must come away from this idea that there are parts, fragments, timing...all these things. Yes, the world is run on these things and it has to. For now it has to but when dealing with the Spirit one must think...almost the opposite.

K: We assume Spirit is one thing but it's more.

R: 100% of the whole.

K: You're with me right now.

R: Yes. Fully present.

K: 100%

R: Yes.

K: Where else are you at this exact moment?

It's almost so huge that I can't contain his energy. I feel like my head and my chest...whatever's there has just blown across space while remaining attached to me. Like an amusement park ride with zero gravity but super-fast and I'm standing still.

K: Don't ever do that again. Put it back.

R: The thrill is...foreign.

Starting to settle back down.

R: But you remain 100% of you.

K: What was that?

R: An example.

K: How do I describe that?

R: Have you been broken in two?

K: If it had gotten any stronger, I feel like I could have been.

R: But what else did you feel?

K: Connection. Huge. Big. That as you slingshotted me...closer to you, I guess, I actually felt more...complete.

R: Because I shot you into a limitless state. And as you gained that freedom, you felt stronger.

K: Wild!

R: And you don't want to feel that again?

I actually feel really joyful after I settled. At first it was kind of scary but now I want it again.

R: And that was only a ten second window of your time.

K: More complete and whole as I'm being 'separated' from myself to remain but...not. Yeah. No language. Sorry to the readers. There's no language for that moment that I just had.

R: (sitting forward and narrowing his eyes) When did trust become something to be measured? It either is or it is not. When a spirit says they are fully present with another...human for this example...why is that not trusted as being 100%?

K: Because we fragment the whole.

R: Then you fragment the trust.

K: Because we want to feel like we are the only ones. That when we are communing with Spirit that it's one on one and not one on 10,000. Some people like to feel special, Ryker.

R: But if one is to realize that it is a whole of the whole...would that help?

K: If we could think in those terms but then...because you just made me feel it...I feel it would be better to feel this than think it apart. I asked you where else you were while we were talking.

R: I am with you.

K: And that's the words we feel and hear from Spirit but that underlying question is...really? Really, Ryker? I was nearly split into pieces so that tells me that you are with others at this exact same moment.

R: Very well. (sighs) When I say that I am with you and only you I am with only you. You know this to be false because of your experiences with breaking down topics into a pie chart. That is all you know. But you understand more. In asking who else I am with, you have placed me into a pie chart when I am not a portion of pie. I am the whole. People are eating many pies at this moment. Can I give you a number? No. I cannot because in this moment I am with you. You have all of me present with you. 10,000 others also have 100% of me. I am never a portion. I am a whole of a whole.

K: At any time. Any time at all. At any moment. Can a spirit be only 'that' one at one moment and not spread out but just at that one moment be one on one?

R: (gently smiles) Yes, Kimberly. Very much so.

K: So...how does spirit "choose" (finger quote).

R: You would know it as a call. Okay, you have spoken to many from your history. Let's take...Captain Smith.

K: Okay.

R: Not many would call upon him at the same time so as you spoke with him...as Captain Smith, he was only with you.

K: As Captain Smith?

R: (wicked grin) Yes.

K: You're doing that on purpose!!!!

R: Are we discussing other lives?

K: Because you want to see steam coming out of my ears?

R: Would be a treat.

K: I get that the omnipresent spirit has other lives as well as their human lives, if we're talking about humans, and they are happening simultaneously in infinity and beyond.

R: Yes.

K: So that begs the question...if a spirit is with me...if Captain Smith is with me as the human he was, who's not to say that he's also an alien from Venus and in his spaceship exploring the Pleiades?

R: (huge laughter)

K: What?

R: Who's to say you're not doing the exact same thing as we speak?

K: I concede defeat.

R: You are not defeated. You are in the throes of understanding.

K: True. Can all of spirit be omnipresent or is it for a select few?

R: Really?

K: Really dude. I'm just asking.

R: If I tell you that Spirit is limitless...what does that tell you?

K: By definition...

R: I have been told of your need to define words.

K: By who?

R: Who else?

K: But out of the definition we can further define in an aware manner than just a confined.

R: Nice save.

K: I try. Okay. By definition, the state of being widespread or constantly encountered. The presence of God everywhere at the same time. Which makes one consider that it could be only for the mighty and powerful if the definition were talking about God.

He's showing me a sort of 'family tree' but not in a tree shape. It's like stars and planets and realms/dimensions.

R: Now...what is God. (more a statement) If you are considering the idea of omnipresence and everything is linked back to Prime Source Creator...is not God everything and everything is God. Is that not omnipresence?

K: On the flip side...God as a powerhouse...

R: That does not restrict, confine or define. It is all. That is spirit.

K: The Great Spirit. I think we touched on this but do some choose not to be omnipresent?

R: Spirit?

K: It's not me.

R: You don't choose to be omnipresent?

K: I mean...I can't see it as a choice if I don't remember or recall that I am.

R: What did we just experience together?

K: An experiment is not the real deal.

R: It is the real deal. The explanation is the limited.

K: Ugh!!! Ryker!

R: A spirit does not spend eternity deciding to...limit itself. Although some need to learn some tricks of the trade when they return to us...they do not decide to be limited.

K: So it is a learning process when that part of us...

R: Part?

K: That whole of us that was human returns to the whole. There is a bit of education or review that goes into rejoining.

R: There is. When death has arrived and the soul leaves the body....

K: Thanks for that.

R: You're welcome...it takes a little bit to get adjusted and remember. The human life...is such a...profound experience that it stays with a person. There are many that have only incarnated to earth and have been only human. It's an experience that is not chosen lightly but at the same time...it is chosen with vigor and excitement because it...who chooses to believe they are separate from God for a human life and who chooses limitations and total amnesia for who one truly is?

K: Have you? Accepted the challenge?

R: Yes. I have.

K: Where abouts?

R: In what you would consider a future.

K: Cool.

R: Very.

K: Okay. I think I have to let this sink in. There might be more questions though.

R: It would be a really great thing if people that feel envious of someone because he or she is with another when they are meant to be with them...it would be best to consider this message. If you are able to really get it...the possibility of one Spirit...the always existent state of being that does not get weaker but only gets stronger...would you feel better understanding that you are the same thing and that you are just important to any that have lived as a human. There are ties to the people of earth that humans are not willing to understand. People see faces of those that they assume are the people they remember love and adore when they are just a face for a feeling of a different time and a different place. There are other lives. These intertwine. It would be best to come down from the mind and into the heart to feel and not obsess. Obsession is grasping at links that are weak. They are grasping at assumptions. They are fragmenting trust. We are with those we connect with...we love...we commit ourselves to 100%. It is not broken. It is the same. To be envious of those that believe they are the only ones in the existence of Spirit is limiting the heart. The heart is limitless. Allow it to travel, unrestricted, to us and allow us to travel to you in the same manner. We have a better understanding. It's true. We don't take any opportunity to chide you for not completely getting it. We are here to support your continuous education. A mother that has lost her son does not sit and wonder if her son is fully present with her in death. She chooses to believe because it brings a lot of peace to her heart. The husband that has lost a wife...he does not sit and think that she's gone away never to return to him and if she did, she would also appear as something or someone different than he would recognize. When we come to you it is because we love you. We honor you. We have fallen in the deepest of affection for you. This counts. It is not something to convince you of. Love is not to be convinced of. It is to trust and trust is not part. It is whole. If you need to simplify things...continue to trust what you have in your heart for the heart is not one to lie about such things as creation.

K: Would it be better to leave the definition at the side of the road?

R: It's never okay to litter.

K: Well...I know that.

R: A definition has its place but there is more to it than terms and agreements.

K: Gotcha. Anything else on omnipresence even though I'm not sure this flowed that great but...

R: Do you understand?

K: Yeah. I mean...I sort of always got the gist of it but there have been some instances that have really got me questioning...and another so this is a dual sort of chat...the importance of us to spirit if they are stretched in numerous amounts of directions to various degrees.

R: Isn't it something to believe that even when tethered by strings of silver and light...that travelling away actually brings strength and not what a human would assume; that it would make something weaker. These are restrictions placed upon infinity by a human mind. It's restriction on consciousness.

K: Einstein popped in when Rodrigo and Mateo were discussing his theory of relativity or whatever it is....

R: Yes.

K: And they asked me to ask him about it and I got really...WTF because I was expecting all these physics terms and stuff which I can't understand at all...

R: No.

K: Because spirit sort of pulls from me a lot of the time.

R: Yes and no.

K: Anyway. He said it wasn't finished yet. It was incomplete.

R: It is to be built upon. It's not the end of all theories. He continues to work with it now.

K: So I say this to them and Einstein wouldn't leave. It was like BANG someone's talking his lingo so I'm going to give you all this stuff to say and you repeat for me.

R: And did you?

K: I just started to laugh at the enormity of the info because it was a lot and because I was laughing at my cup of coffee...that may have come off as insane.

R: Just a little.

K: Maybe there would be a better moment to talk about something that is extremely foreign to me.

R: Maybe.

K: You know...because when a spirit shoots your mind into outer space without any warning...it catches a person off guard.

R: I was not shooting your mind.

K: He said she said.

R: (shakes his head chuckling) You want to do it again?

K: I totally want to do it again!!!!

R: Say goodbye.

K: Goodbye.

R: Let's go.

Conversations with Erik Medhus - Pressure

Erik came into my meditations this morning pushing me...I should say encouraging me to join one of his Facebook groups and so, because he can be so lovingly insistent, I did. I don't sell anything so to promote myself...totally not into that but I could see myself getting some pretty valuable information from all the posters. Anyway. He stuck around. Here is Erik Medhus from ChannelingErik.com

E: Hey hey. Heeeeeeerrrrrreeeee'ssssss Erik!

K: Wow. That was...quite the intro. How are you sir?

E: Sir? Hhhmmm. I don't know if I've ever gotten that before. I could get used to that.

K: I have to first say thank you for coming in this morning while I was meditating. Long time no visit but I know I know. It's all me.

E: Hey. You're sayin' it. Not me. Thought I'd come in. See what's up. See what's happenin'. See if I could do another chat or something...

K: Bored?

E: Me? No way. I've been pretty busy in a good way. I've been great! (saying it like Tony the Tiger from Frosted Flakes)

K: What did you want to talk about?

E: (shrugging) I don't know. Did you have something? I know you have something.

K: Well...I was curious about pressure. I can't see that being a big topic but...okay. What about pressure?

E: Like in a massage or something?

K: (I'm laughing)

E: How do you like your massages, Kim?

K: I have to say that if you're going to just pet me, I'm leaving.

E: Ew.

K: Totally ew.

E: Okay. Pressure. I'm figuring you're talking about pressure from an outside source.

K: I mean, not always. Pressure a person puts on themselves too.

E: Yeah. But where is that all coming from? It's still based on an outside source isn't it. It's got those should innuendos. (shaping his lips with each syllable)

K: Your pronunciation of words is quite...theatrical today. I like it. How are you feeling? Good mood?

E: Always.

K: Good. Let's start with outside pressure.

E: Tell 'em to...which page is this going on? Youth?

K: Yep.

E: Tell 'em to get lost.

K: You can't always do that. For example, my kid feels pressure from her teacher. She can't tell her teacher to get lost.

E: Okay. But if there's all this pressure being felt in whatever situation you want to put yourself in, where's that really coming from? Where's your power in all of that. Where'd you put it?

K: I agree that pressure is part of personal power but even if you're the most confident person in the world, you can still feel pressure.

E: I can pretty much guarantee that the people who ooze confidence in their life...the pressure they feel isn't as much as let's say...Ireland who feels pressure from her teacher walking into the room. So why is it that people who feel all this pressure...what are they handing of themselves to another person?

K: Is it like a situation where some people take on too much?

E: I think people really feel like they have to do everything right now which totally isn't true. Chill-ax. Nothing's going to be missed.

K: So what can people do when they feel immense outside pressure to be able perform or do. Like final exams are coming up. They put pressure on themselves because hey...colleges need the best.

E: Projecting too far into the future. Imagination is running fuckin' wild. People need to chill out.

K: Is this more of a living in the moment type thing?

E: Days are moments right. It's like...what you said to Ireland last night. I liked that. Don't look at the whole thing and crap yourself because it's so huge. I mean...final exams. That's a big deal but it's a big deal because your measuring yourself up to what you have to have. Really? What's your priority. I mean...the education system prepares you to take tests. What do you want to know? Knowing something and really getting it is different than knowing it to take a test. Realize that, right? Realize what your priorities are and realize that that's okay and you can have personal goals and priorities that don't have to do with anything else but you. It's all about you.

K: I just wrote that in the card reading.

E: But it's true. It's so true.

K: In regards to looking at something like a test or an event or a performance...how do we deal with the pressure that we feel there is there from an outside source but probably is just our imagination?

E: Take a breath. People forget to breathe because when a person breathe the brain can actually breathe then start to think.

K: Isn't that a part of pressure too? Thinking too much?

E: It's the imagination thing again. Okay...get out of your head and into your heart.

K: Yeah. I agree.

E: If you take a breath than the physiology of the blood moving everywhere and nourishing everything...that's there. That's when you can kind of be logical about things and not so dramatic. That's using that mind and not so much the brain. When you're in your head about something, that shit can just get churned out into thousands of different story lines and if you don't calm that stuff...you're just inviting it in. Breathe.

K: Any other techniques? Like, someone's going for a job interview and they need this job so bad....

E: Wait a second. Jobs...yeah, they can be needed but by who? By you? Reconsider the language. Do you want the job and is it pressure you're feeling or is anticipation that you can't wait to try it out because you know you'd be so...awesome at it.

K: Totally wanted to f bomb the crap out of that didn't you.

E: I cannot tell a lie.

K: So there's a difference between a need and a want in regards to pressure.

E: It changes the whole scene. If you want a job or you want to do well or you want to get into that college, you're going to anticipate more than worry and that pressure won't feel so heavy because you know you're gonna kick some serious ass.

K: Yes.

E: If your brain is spinning because 'oh man, I really need that grade to pass the stupid course so I can get into that school everyone else is going to.' See the difference. Feel the difference. That's pressure that you don't want and so the outcome will be just that. If the future you envision for yourself is what you feel you need and what you want...it won't give you the same satisfaction.

K: But...okay. So the universe will give you what you need. Sometimes you don't get what you want. Differentiate that please.

E: 'Differentiate that please.' (mimicking me) In those situations, wants are usually based in ego. Needs are for your greater good.

K: Okay.

E: Want to be a superstar and be on the cover of every magazine because you're an actress now and that shit's gonna fly? Or, are you wanting to be creative in that and it's not just for the fame but for a deep longing to be creative in the ways you know how to do that.

K: Sure.

E: Oh man. I wanna be a rock star so bad. All those girls and parties. Man, that's dope.

K: Dope?

E: Yeah. Or, I'm staying independent because I want creative control over the songs that I wrote and wow that's great. I just got this gig at a pub and it's awesome because I can actually share what I can do. See the difference Kimmy?

K: Got it.

E: Yeah. So pressure...who's gonna crack under it more? The person who's only doing things for ego's sake or the one that's actually doing it because it's a part of them and they want to share it with whoever regardless of what they can get out of it.

K: I'm pretty much thinking that the person that's only doing it for fame or 'look at me' type attitude is going to crack under the pressure. Is that where the whole addiction/substance abuse thing takes place?

E: Sometimes. Sometimes it can be worse than that.

K: Pressure on yourself?

E: Didn't we cover that already.

K: Probably a little bit but I'm trying to keep up with your energy. Talk talk talk.

E: Fast fast fast. There's no other way to do it.

K: Nope. Not if you want to get a point across.

E: The thing is...You gotta do what's right for you and I know there's lots of influences out there. There was for me and I couldn't distinguish what was right for me because I didn't know. I was too busy trying to fit into life, right. But you have to do with what's good for you because then it'll just flow. (motions his hands like flowing straight out from his chest)

K: It's the truth.

E: And in regards to telling the teacher to get lost. I mean, be polite but also don't be scared to voice an opinion, respectfully. Kids...they aren't taught that they can have a voice very well. It's really one of those things where it could either be the greatest thing or be like...what the hell have I done parent moment.

K: Why?

E: There's a fine line with kids. Given permission, some will speak but without really knowing that conversation and communication are a two way street.

K: Ah.

E: Yeah but students can speak up for themselves. There's a lot of great teachers out there that aren't just in it for the pay cheque but there are some that are. There are teachers that expect more more more and in the everyday that doesn't always work for the child, right?

K: Right.

E: So the kids have a right to say, 'this isn't okay. I'm feeling a lot of pressure here and I need help.'

K: When the loads of life get too much and the pressure is just too heavy, is there a lack of expression because it's embarrassing?

E: Hell yes. Preach! Yes!

K: Even to the parents?

E: Parents can be really over reactive and think that their child is the one that's being too sensitive which could really break down honesty and communication. Just hear them out. If they're saying they're having trouble handling studies or handling the sports or handling the music classes on top of everything else...time to listen up.

K: Like living your old childhood fantasies through your children.

E: Hell yes. Again hell yes. That's pressure but it doesn't have to be there. It's a breakdown of communication because of what the parents 'think' should be happening and what the child 'feels'. Usually what the parent thinks is gonna trump all because they're in charge.

K: Keeping kids busy all the time?

E: When are they supposed to chill out and take a breath?

K: The breathing thing again.

E: When a person's stressed, they don't breathe right and if that continues...well, the health starts showing that.

K: Same with pressure.

E: Pressure cooker, stress. Same diff.

K: Huh. Yeah. It can be stressful for sure. Then there's that tipping point.

E: Yup. And everything to do with covering up because God forbid someone finds out someone's about to crack and what would happen if they did. So take this pill or that one and label them with some sort of disorder instead of really getting to the bottom of why they've cracked; giving them the tools to help deal with some of these pressures. Being proactive isn't practiced as much as it needs to be these days. But...it's comin' around.

K: You see that changing?

E: It is. Now. There's way more resources now for kids that can't cope than there ever were. Change takes time right? I mean, talk about pressure, people are literally being bombarded with should or buy or become or whatever it is. It's everywhere. It doesn't even have to be on television or social media. It can be in the halls of the fucking high schools. There's still pressure there and pamphlets aren't going to do anything. Don't hand a kid a pamphlet and wash your hands. If you're seeing someone not handling the pressure of life very well, reach out. Reach out to help them and offer them some love. Moping around or silence is usually one of those cries for help.

K: Agreed. Totally agree.

E: It's me. How could you not agree with me?

K: You've had your arguments.

E: I have but usually people come around to my way of thinking.

K: Cocky much?

E: What you see is what you get. I'm a loveable cocky kind of guy.

K: You certainly are. Thanks Erik. Anything else on pressure right now?

E: Now? No 'cause I know you have to get going. Plus I wouldn't want to be an accomplice to the pressures of reading such a long blog post.

K: Or writing them out?

E: That too. See ya Kim.

K: Love ya Erik. Thanks for this.

E: Love ya back.

Conversations with Anton Yelchin – Women & Men

Who doesn't love a little Anton Yelchin? I know I sure do. When you call him in you'll only get care, deep conversation and a cute smile that just doesn't stop. So do that. Call him in....like now.

K: Hey Handsome.

A: (smiles) Come on. (shrugging it off)

K: What?

A: (looks around like I could be talking to someone else) Is that for me?

K: Yes. How are you?

A: Well I better be good. I was just called handsome.

K: I call 'em like I see 'em. Thanks for hanging out this morning.

A: It's always nice to hang out in the morning...to say good morning and just be with someone when it's all quiet. Those are the best times. When there's no real distractions. How's the foot?

K: It's annoying. I was just telling Marilyn how I've been blessed with no real pain in my body but this ankle and foot thing is starting to get really annoying. Can you check it out for me?

A: You want me to go in there?

K: Is that okay?

A: Yeah, it's okay. Give me a second. I'll check it out.

Waiting while he checks out my very sore ankle and foot.

A: I don't see anything really wrong with it, Kim. It just looks irritated. You were right. It's not bone. The tendons just look a little...irritated. What did you do?

K: You tell me. I don't know where this is from.

A: Hhhmmm...It's not new. It's been there for a while. You're just feeling it now? Acupuncture would be great for that. Get some needles in there.

K: Yeah. I'll do that tonight. (I have a background in Chinese Medicine.) Okay. Now that I know I'm not dying...

A: Not yet. (winks)

K: What did you want to talk about this morning?

A: (rubbing hands together) I want to talk women and men, actually.

K: Why?

A: Just...there's just...there's this feeling of butting heads with this topic and I sort of want to...give it some thought or some...let's give some women and men some counselling.

K: Are we talking about the Divine Feminine and Masculine?

A: No. None of that. I want to talk about women and men. (moves his hands from side to side indicating difference)

K: Are we being general here?

A: Yeah. I mean...it's just us. We're gonna be general.

K: I feel like...for women...it's a continuous battle. It's either they feel they have to be this soft and nurturing person or this hard...climb some sort of ladder person. I feel that it's tough to balance.

A: Yeah. Sure it is. I mean...women have been feeling that they've had this certain role to play and that's changing because that role was always this way. It was always the care taker, the nurse, the cook, the homemaker...all that stuff. It was a mentality of society that kept women in this place while men were in this place (gesturing sides) and for women...it was tough to adapt to any other way because of the mentality of society for years. I mean...how long can that last? It can't last that way. But...what can't last either is the fight because the fight...if a woman feels as if she's living her every day in a continuous battle of showing herself in a world of men...it's going to get exhausting.

K: Yes. It does get exhausting.

A: And the mentality that this "strong" (finger quote) woman has to do it all is also going to lead to exhaustion and another situation where partners in their life can sort of slide because the superwoman will take care of it and then there's all these feelings of being a lone player on a team.

K: Yes.

A: So we gotta get our heads and hearts into a situation where there's a cooperative effort between the two sexes and not a battle. Because right now...holy shit there's a battle. And what's creating this battle is the lack of communication and respect from both parties.

K: What about the men?

A: Men have this mentality...and this is really general. This is just us, right?

K: Sure. I'll share it but people know that I share my personal journey with them regardless of what it looks like.

A: Yeah. See...that's cool. But...men still have this mentality, and it comes from generations of grooming in this way...that we have to conquer something. That we have to be the face of the world that is controlled...that we got it all together and the family units that we create or the friendships that we keep are all wrapped up in this solid...thing (places his hands in front of him like he's putting down a heavy object) that we can define and there's no room for ifs. There's no room for tweaking or change or being uncomfortable because we have it together in this really nice little package.

K: I mean...sure. But that's not all men.

A: And it's not all women. I really see (sits back) that these two sexes are just trying to maintain some sort of control in some way...maybe maintain some sort of identity that's not true anymore and I feel this is where the struggle mostly is. Women need the chance to be an equal...they need to be heard...they need to be understood as an equal human being and feel as if they're in an equal partnership with the life that they chose to live. Men are being called out for looking down on women because they're really evolving into something that isn't...it's not used to. And it's so fucking fantastic that it's happening but there's a lot of growing pains.

K: I just don't see why there has to be growing pains. I just don't see why the evolving definitions or the evolving...traits maybe...of these roles as women and men have to be so fought or hard won.

A: Look, the thing that...as Spirit, what I need to share from my perspective is nothing's going to change if people don't start meeting in the middle. People need to start...working together sounds so cliché but I mean...that's the thing. Men, who understand that these changes are taking place, need to come out and be the voice of women and women need to start supporting the men that are really on their side and not try to look for a fight because they feel they need to fight for something.

K: Where does it start?

A: It starts every day. It starts in your surroundings. It starts with the people that are in your life...that you see in your day to day. People want change to be immense and they start the marches and they start the rallies and they start the shouting...but if you haven't practiced that in your everyday and gathered the tribes in your everyday...how will that happen when a person immediately decides to start on a grand scale.

K: Because there's this...I don't want to say desperation because it's not that...it's more of a fed up. People are fed up with the titles. They are fed up with the old expectations. And I speak for both men and women...they are fed up.

A: Why do you think that is?

K: Because there's a feeling...a really tangible feeling of change in the air and so many people feel it and I don't think it comes down to just men and women. I think it comes down to race. I think it comes down to sexuality. I think it comes down to violence. I think it comes down to a lot of things and to break it up into only a men vs. women issue is not really seeing the whole of it.

A: And I completely agree with you, Kim. I really do. Look how that scope widens into so much more than gender. I was just bringing up men and women. You took it to that enormous scale.

K: Because I feel it has escalated to that point now. But in regards to men and women...I mean you said meet in the middle. We aren't always ready to meet in the middle.

A: Why?

K: Because I don't think men or women feel that they are always heard and before there comes that point to meet in some middle...we...both men and women...have to feel heard and we have to feel understood and if we don't...things will escalate into those marches and into those rallies because maybe the louder we speak or shout...there will be a bigger chance that we will be heard.

A: So what are you speaking out about?

K: There comes a point where we need fairness and equality. There comes a point where some who are just needing to climb that ladder might realize that they didn't get to that rung on their own. Who was supporting them on their climb? Nine times out of ten it was a partner. So whether it be a man at home that's taking that nurturing role or the women...there has to be an acknowledgment that no one climbed to any sort of height only on their own. At least one person had their back.

A: I really agree with you. So you have these two sides; masculine...feminine...they were never meant to remain on different teams. The duality of the world sort of set that standard but what was really meant to happen was that they were to come together. Just look at how men and women are made. They naturally fit together as one. Masculine and feminine come together to fit as one. Yin and yang come together to fit as one. They will always have their duality as that one but they always fit together. Gender, race, religion have always had that mindset that they had to sit in some sort of life of separation...where it was one or the other and that...it's just not happening anymore.

K: But it is.

A: It is but through the work like this...through the conversations and through the interactions that people have with us (spirit)...it's for a reason, Kim. It's to bring the truth to any situation to make people look at it differently.

K: So when you look at men and women as Anton the Spirit...do you see it coming together at some middle ground or muster point?

A: I do. But I think that people have to start sort of looking at the way they're going about it because it's out of...feeling fed up or it's out of anger or it's out of...just total 100%...I'm done. But...when were you done and did you ever communicate that to those in your immediate life first before you went on a rampage. And I'm not saying that it's not necessary. It's so fucking necessary right now but was it in your everyday first?

K: I think that...if we look at women right now and...International Women's Day is coming up...I think that there's a lot of commonality of situations...there's a lot of camaraderie right now in what's been done to women and when they all realize that...they stand together in unison because to feel that they are being heard, that one voice just really wasn't loud enough for anyone to take notice. It had to be the collective.

A: Are they all on the same page?

K: What do you mean?

A: Are the loud shouts about the same thing?

K: Maybe some people have different agendas...personally but they feel that community when with others to make it easier to voice something and then maybe that would flow down into their personal situations.

A: (smiles) I really like talking to you.

K: I like talking to you too.

A: Because you just...don't hold back when you think out loud.

K: Thanks...I guess.

A: So women and men are voicing what needs to change. Great, right? So fantastic. Where's the action?

K: There's action all over the place.

A: Okay. So...this goes for both genders.

K: Okay.

A: Again...this meet in the middle. If someone is shouting from the rooftops that they need change are they ready to meet in the middle? Is there an opportunity for compromise as the change starts because even though change happens all the time...successful changes come with two sides that are willing to come together...who are willing to communicate, who are willing to connect or re-connect. Is there that connection or that willingness to connect or is it...I'm evolving...you're not...this is an equal world...I don't feel equal but I'm not ready to communicate with you until you do this. That's just propagating that continued separatism.

K: So with the evolving human being whether that be race or sexuality or religion or whatever...you see both sides in a more...my way or the highway type situation?

A: I see a lot of that. It's not all the time but I do see a lot of that and they wonder why...it's stalled. Why do they feel stalled? Why does the relationship feel stalled? Why does the work feel stalled? Why does my voice...why isn't it heard. If a person is willing to communicate what's not working anymore...are they willing to, also, communicate what they're willing to work with another on in terms of getting that feeling of being stuck in the fucking dark ages...moving again. Because it takes both parties. Where's the willingness instead of the revenge. Revenge...that's another thing.

K: What do you mean?

A: Because person A has been so wronged...person B,C,D,E...they have to pay back with something and that's only when the scorned or wronged feel better.

K: Again, not in every situation.

A: Again, no but we're speaking like two people who have really great communication and can talk down holes right?

K: Totally. I love you.

A: See. I love you too. And that's it right there. It's that love. It's that willingness to lay it all out on the table regardless if the cards are turned up. It's that willingness to air it out and come to some sort of conclusion that no one is going to be totally right and no one is going to be totally wrong but we can talk about it.

K: (laughing) Sometimes you just make me smile.

A: Yeah?

K: Yeah.

A: We can work out our differences. Communicate the differences but there has to be the willingness...from both sides...to listen. There has to be...on both sides...that respect to honor what each side is talking about...how they're feeling and what they feel has been done that isn't okay and how are we going to get back to that place that is peace.

K: Wow.

A: It's not the first time you've heard this.

K: No. It's not but sometimes I think we all need these little reminders of what's important. It's not...I am women, hear me roar and it's not I am man and must be on top...or whatever. I'm just talking.

A: Yeah.

K: It's...what's with the roar? What do you need and really...women like it on top too.

A: (LAUGHING!)

K: Ha! I totally got you!

A: You did.

K: Have you seen that movie? Woman on Top? It's so good.

A: Now I have. Kim, that was too funny.

K: But it's true. Just because women are feminine and nurturing and caring and soft doesn't mean we don't have strength or we don't have goals or dreams or we don't have this desire to strive for something that could be really great for us...for our families...for our community.

A: And just because men are harder...(laughs) sorry. Maybe wrong choice of words.

K: (LAUGHING!)

A: Maybe because men are...a little more rough around the edges or want to carry this tough exterior because they feel the need to wear this tight skin like armor...we can be sensitive and we can be loving and nurturing and really supportive and caring of women's dreams, goals and desires because we have them so why can't she? (says it with a lot of compassion)

K: Now now. People are gonna start falling in love with you if you keep talking that way.

A: You think?

K: Please.

A: I admire...I'm going to say plight...I admire a woman's plight in life right now to be that woman in a man's world. It's changing...it is because a lot of women and men have seen the need for that. But in saying that...it can't remain one way or the other. If a woman...or man...but if a woman feels heard and acknowledged, it goes a really long way. Women haven't felt like they can be honest or that they can speak because for a long time throughout history...they've been shut down. You see it everywhere in history but we're not in history. We're now so what I just can't understand is...with both sides...why are we holding onto history? Just look at it. Women hold onto history like it's this cross to bear that they need to get rid of and men hold onto history because their place in that was comfortable and what they knew. Still...lack of communicating those feelings.

K: I really liked that moment in the movie 300 where that bad dude was calling out Gerard Butler's character's wife for only being a woman and Gerard let's her stand up for herself and she says that women are pretty much held in very high regard because they birth Spartan men. I LOVE that. I love that.

A: And it is so true, Kim! It's so true. What a way to look at it right? If the world was just men...it would have ended a long time ago...but if it was just women...the same can be said. It's not like the Immaculate Conception happens every day.

K: Well...thank God for that.

A: Why?

K: Two is enough and really, if I gave birth to a Jesus or a Hercules or a Superwoman...It takes a strong woman.

A: Takes a strong man. Hey, Ireland...

Wants to work with Ireland as a guide.

K: Yeah.

A: WTF? (holds out his hands like 'what gives')

K: I know. She knows. She's eleven, Anton. She'll get there.

A: We talk all the time.

K: But nothing she can remember. I'm just starting to nurture the whole communicating with Spirit thing. It will come.

A: Okay. Thanks. Paul says he's been hanging out with Mateo.

K: Yes, he has. So, after dinner the other week, and Mateo isn't into cars, but he says to me that his first car he wants this sporty thing but he didn't know the name.

A: Yeah...

K: And I told him to show me a picture and he showed me and I nearly fell off my chair. He wanted a Lamborghini. Red. Red!

A: For real?

K: And I only make so much money a year...there's no way.

A: (laughs)

K: So he says to me he wants that one or a Civic.

A: That's quite the difference.

K: And I told him the civic was his. Used. So, yeah. I blame Paul because Mateo and cars? Since when?

A: I'd say that's fair.

K: And in regards to Ireland, it's gotta be on her terms, right?

A: I get that. I do. I offer...I just offer.

K: And I appreciate that. Anything else on men, women, gender, religion. I mean, we probably just stirred up a whole lotta poop...

A: Gross.

K: Imagery.

A: Yeah.

K: Anything else?

A: I'm good. Let's have a coffee or something.

K: Sounds perfect. Darker the better.

A: Something to make you sprout a little chest hair?

K: Totally something that would do that. Man, this full moon is knocking me on my ass. Want to come to Canmore?

A: Really?

K: Yeah. Stop in.

A: Sounds like a plan. I'm there. Maybe I'll show up in a picture or something.

K: That would be so COOL!!!!! Do that.

A: I will do my best.

K: Okey doke. Let's get hair sprouting coffee.

A: See you guys. Welcome to Kim's life. (waves at the readers)

K: They know. Maybe a little too much.

A: (shrugs) Whatever.

Conversations with Anton Yelchin - Astral Travel

I have a couple good friends in Spirit. Anton is one of them. Ever since I met him...let's just say I turn to mush whenever he sits in the chair. I get giddy for God's sake. His energy is that disarming and charming. Man...I can't believe I admit that here. Honesty first. This is just a chat on the subject. I'm sure there are people out there that may know more or whatever. That's cool. I don't so that's why I' m asking my buddy. Here is Anton Yelchin.

A: Hey you. How are things over there?

K: I'm sooooo happy it's you.

A: Expecting someone else?

K: Not expecting but still expecting if that makes sense.

A: Someone leaving love notes around?

K: You could say that but not really. How are you?

A: I'm really good. I'm excellent.

K: Would I ever hear a spirit say otherwise? Really, would there be anything but good.

A: There can be if...I guess if someone wants that but...nah. I couldn't tell you that you would hear that.

K: I'm pretty glad you dropped in because I wanted to talk about astral travel and I believe you're the guy to do that with?

A: I can to a lot more than talk about astral travel. (winks)

K: I know you can. But...every time I go into that...I guess desire to travel I always see you because you extended the invitation of help which is cool and I always tell Leanne to give you a shout so you can pick her up on that bike of yours...

A: (smiles) Yeah. Cool.

K: But...I was doing some research and there seems to be these distinct ways to do it. Is there some sort of thing that you have to be taught or can you just do it.

A: I believe everyone has the ability to travel. I mean, when a person sleeps the soul takes that opportunity to travel. The intense dreams that can be so great or so vivid and you just don't want to get up...that's when a person is where we are. Everyone does it but the thing is...is that people want to actually have control over that process and that's where the idea of learning it from a teacher comes in. There are some ideas about it. You know, that a person has to be safe and protected or there's that fear that they won't be able to come back into your body but if you have any sort of fear as you do these types of things...that fear will attract or...yeah, attract is the best word but really, if it's something a person does all the time then knowing that...what's to fear?

K: Did you do it and remember doing it when alive?

A: No. It wasn't something that I tried to do knowingly. I mean, I wasn't really the type to understand or dive into all these aspects of what I know to be true now. If I had known what I know now...I think my interests would have been a lot different than what they were. Part of me, I guess, gravitated to that unknown or that science fiction just because of the star trek gig but really, I had other interests outside of movies that attracted me more. To say that I laid in bed and tried to separate my consciousness from my physical body by whatever means...nah. I just fell asleep and that's the natural thing for a body to do right. If you're deep breathing and you're covered and you're lying there wanting to separate those aspects of you...the physical will take over as a relaxed state of awareness and go to sleep. It's a hard thing to stop and it has to be trained out of a person.

K: It comes and goes with me. I believe on Sunday night I left for a bit.

A: Yeah.

K: But I didn't stay out and I didn't travel in the way that people explain it on the internet.

A: You and your internet. It's not the bible Kim.

K: But it is something to go on.

A: Sure but everyone's experience with astral travel or lucid dreaming is going to be different because that's consciousness. It could parallel. It could be similar but it will be different.

K: Why?

A: Because of the intention behind it.

K: Ah. So intent drives it?

A: Absolutely it does. Intention is a really big word that is a lot of the basis behind these astral experiences. You know, a person is...they have these directives from their teams and if that higher aspect or the teams feel a person is ready, they will assist in the travel but ask yourself, what is the intention. Is it about cultivating more awareness that can be put into practice on earth? Is it about sexual experiences? Is it about relationships and preferring those over the relationships on earth? Is it about reuniting with family or getting a clue about where they are or is it just to see where you know you go in your sleep state. I mean...what's the intention behind it because that's what the experience will look like.

K: Yeah...I've heard stuff like that. Hook ups in realms beyond. Even with other travelers. I have a hard time resonating with that sort of stuff though.

A: Yeah. It's pretty weird shit sometimes.

K: Okay so, I know people who astral travel but don't know they do it. I've been told I do a hell of a lot of work in other dimensions which I knew but sometimes it's like a fleeting thought, right? So how do we begin to remember these experiences?

A: If the flashes come to you in the morning or throughout the day...let's say you see a picture of something or a word....it's almost like being hypnotized where a word or a signal will flick a switch in that brain and the information will come back so it's time to write that stuff down. How did it feel is probably one of the most important things because everyone can remember a feeling but to remember the details is a little harder.

K: Got it.

A: But if you remember the details, write them down.

K: Okay. If a person had the intention to astral travel, is there something they can do to make it easier?

A: It's a practice. For a lot of people, it doesn't happen just like that because there's stages a person has to get used to and the paralyzed body is something that people just get weirded out by, you know?

K: Well, I mean a person is lying in bed or whatever and they can't move their body...it's a little freaky deaky.

A: (laughs) Yeah but then that mind automatically goes to fear and it stops or it creates these visions in your mind of just stuff that...if the intention was set that a person was only going to experience what was specifically for them and in the process they were cool and looked after...then that paralyzed part wouldn't be so scary.

K: What's the paralyzed heavy sensation?

A: It's to hold the physical down while the soul comes up and out.

He motions from his chest and solar plexus.

A: That's where a lot of people will either feel the shallow or non-existent breath before the limbs get really heavy right? Those lower chakras...especially the sacral...they're like the engine of it because it's what's grounding you to earth.

K: I heard about the sacral chakra being really involved. It can create some sexual intensity. So I've heard. My breathing stops. I won't take a breath for the longest time and that's when I know that I'm pretty much out the human door. But I don't experience it like others. It's like...I don't travel in the way that it's assumed. I just find myself in a different place. No flying involved.

A: Because you don't have to. Some do. That's what's cool about it so if you just had the intention to keep an open mind and just discover it for yourself instead of comparing the experience with others...it would happen easier.

K: Got it. Okay, so you're lying there and your chest/breath is slight and your lower chakras are going off and your limbs are stuck to the bed or whatever. Then what?

A: I mean...there's all these methods. I'd...first, I'd see what your consciousness wants to do. Really. What direction is that fingerprint of energy wanting to take? Are you just going to get up and look back at your body or are you going to pull at a rope that you imagine is above you or are you just going to snap away like you do. I mean...some people would argue that that isn't travelling but as many options as there were presented to you to do these things...there's a hell of a lot more that people aren't really aware of.

K: Can it become addicting?

A: Yes.

K: Is it a healthy practice?

A: Depends on why you're doing it. If you're just needing an escape...probably not the best reason. I mean...there's no wrong about it. It's something that's completely available to everyone to try but it's gotta be one of these things that you're honest about. So if you're wanting to escape your life...what do you think you have to look at head on in your life and travel can do that for you as well. You can kind of get to a place where you're looking from the outside in and get a different perspective on whatever's going on so you are then able to handle things in maybe a better way than if you were in the thick of it.

K: I never thought about it like that before.

A: No one really does. I mean...if you're really great at travel...and you're having trouble with a certain person in your life but they won't communicate with you in healthy ways...a person is able to speak with that soul...spirit part of them to try to gain some understanding and then take that back with you to work things out in these way better and healthier ways. So there are great things about traveling. You kind of go to a zone where that ego isn't so heavy and you can truly begin to work from that heart space instead of that brain.

K: Will everyone always come back?

A: Yeah.

K: People who are slowly dying...I read yesterday that they astral travel a lot.

A: They need a break. Man, they need a fucking holiday from the suffering. It kind of gives them the strength to hang on if that's what they're choosing to do.

K: Ah. Do you meet people like that? That are ready to transition and sort of just getting the lay of the land?

A: Yeah. Sometimes. If they knew me and I'm someone they want to connect with...sure. I'll meet them.

K: Is it a guide thing? That their guides are kind of giving them a tour of what to expect?

A: Sometimes. Yeah. Because there's that fear there that a person doesn't know what Heaven or these astral planes look like and so they'll kind of show them around in a way that isn't so jarring. I mean...these people who choose to hold on...that's jarring enough.

K: Yeah. I get that. For sure I get that.

A: But I mean...in 99% of the cases...people are going to come back.

K: Do you need to ask for protection?

A: Why ask when you can know you are? People here...spirit, I guess, no one's out to get you. Sure, there are those lower realms that still got shit to figure out but even they're not out to get you. People read that stuff or talk to people and these people get that surprised mortified looks on their face and talk to them about how a scary entity can attach itself to you...but they're not the end all and be all of information on the subject. If you're working with your guides and you want to work with angels or even me...we have your best interests at heart and won't let anything touch you or let you experience anything that you don't want to.

K: (laughing) All I see is you on your little motorbike playing delivery boy with where these people want to go.

A: (laughs) I'll do it. If that's what you want to experience while there...I'll do it.

K: I'm gonna get a little sci fi here.

A: Awesome.

K: Alien abductions. Astral travel?

A: Totally different.

K: Okay but you can still interact with these beings when you travel.

A: Well you would know.

K: Touché, Anton. Touché.

A: And as far as alien abductions go...doesn't really happen anymore so...I can't say it never does but I'd like to put people's minds to rest about that. If you were to think about contracts...those are over and non-negotiable. As many greys there are just waiting...there's twice as many benevolent ones that are constantly walking around and (laughing) flying around to make sure that humans are very okay.

K: Good to know. Contracts?

A: Yeah. I mean...if you want to get into it...ah (sighs) 2012 was a really big year in regards to the rights and the protection of the human race. That's when you found a lot of people were waking up and realizing who they were and what their abilities were and what they were not okay with and they were able to connect with all aspects of themselves including races that you would term alien and it felt like a homecoming which attracted those races like the Arcturian, Sirian and Pleiadian races to pony up and be way more present than any others. Once people start realizing these things...it attracts those soul families to be a part of these people's human lives and it's like that constant shield. That happened and it just grows. It's not going to be kept quiet forever. It can't.

K: So astral travel to meet star beings?

A: Welcomed. Really. It is.

K: What about inviting them to you?

A: It's a frequency thing. You have to be revving at that same frequency which not a lot of people can do all the time or hold that for as long as it takes. It takes practice and it's sort of like...I guess I'd say a diet. It's not only for a little bit. It's changes as a lifestyle. It's only fair to meet someone in the middle right. Same goes for us and we really appreciate when people make those changes to be able to meet us that way. We're really thankful.

K: Would these lifestyle changes like...people say decalcifying the pineal gland or making the body less acidic...would these things work with astral travel capabilities as well?

A: A lot and that doesn't mean a person can't enjoy themselves. Treat yourself but it's that connection to the body that you're always telling people, right? If you want the energetic experiences...increase those vibes in your physical. You'll feel better and you'll feel more if you're interested in stuff like this.

K: Any other secrets?

A: Meditation. I have to say...it's really important. Take some time out. Meditate, meditate, meditate. And, I mean, for some it's hard to sit there but you don't have to sit. People meditate in their cars. It's like...one of those how did I get here moments but they wouldn't call that meditating. They would call that dangerous driving caused by daydreaming. (laughs) I'm not telling you to do that.

K: I know.

A: But...it's those activities...if you need an activity...that let's your brain just stop thinking or even daydream or just...can't hold a thought. It's those moments where you don't know where the time went. It's a focus but a focus on nothing but being in that now thing...moment. It's that. Everyone has those.

K: Yes. But I don't think everyone realizes it. I know people who knit and meditate.

A: Yep. Perfect.

K: Cool. So astral travel isn't anything to worry about?

A: (shrugs) Look who you're talking to. I do it all the time and I'm having a great time.

K: Latest adventure?

A: Too many to talk about.

K: Aw.

A: But I mean...that's the cool thing. Don't ever think that we're just waiting around to be talked to or that we're never around to talk to. We can be in twenty places at one time and still take those experiences and remember every single thing about them. If we want to travel as one whole piece...we will. If we want to explore lives that we're thinking of partaking in while we talk...like I could be doing that now and you would have no idea because for you...I'm here 100%.

K: So it's kind of like a situation where you're talking with someone but they're not really listening or they're looking at you but not hearing a word you're saying.

A: Sure but me...right now...is experiencing every single word we're speaking right now and I'll take that with me as an experience with a really cool girl whose become a friend.

K: Thank you.

A: You're welcome.

K: Anything else on astral travel? I mean...there are so many thoughts and textbook know how's about it but you say it can be very personal.

A: It is very personal. Just like consciousness and what a person chooses to experience in their day to day...it's that way with the soul. It will experience the astral planes personally and not like a text book. Nothing about this is text book You'll have people teach it and it will work for some but it won't work for others. Don't get disappointed. That just means there's another way.

K: Pointers?

A: It's a process. Skills take practice and astral travel is one of those skills. Some take to it easily and some don't but it's always doable.

K: Cool. And if people call you will you come and help?

A: I'll help. I have no problem with that. I'll take 'em to Paris or something.

K: Is it better to see Earth first...experience that first?

A: (shakes head) Not necessarily. You didn't.

K: Okay okay. I'm sharing this.

A: (grins) I know.

K: You're so funny. Every time you come in I'm grinning all day.

A: Good. I'd prefer it that way than having you freak out or something. Don't freak out. Ever. It's not your style.

K: Ah...but Anton...it can be.

A: Sure, you can try it on but does it really fit right?

K: Not any more. It's like...freaking out...I can't hold onto that stuff. It's like water in the hands.

A: Yeah. 'Cause you're vibin' higher. Cool. Busy today?

K: Not really. On wait mode.

A: Cool. Thanks Kim. As always...it's been pretty cool.

K: As always, it sure has. Love you.

A: Love you. Take care.

K: Bu-bye.

Salutes and is gone.

