yeah so I've just got this - this one item here
I'd like to post
- where is it going to sir?
- the address is on the back there
Australia Post
founded back in 1809, the
service now delivers more than 100 packages every day.
boxes, envelopes,
um
letters
packages come in all shapes and sizes
but do items even need packaging
at all?
a while ago I was watching Castaway
alone
and it got me thinking about the time I mailed a loose potato
although it
was the high point of my year,
I still had so many unanswered questions about
the postal service
yet I struggled to through even one page of Australia
Post's terms and conditions
so I chose instead to conduct a series of tests
- thank you, would you like a receipt to go with that?
so I just multiplied the weight of that
one potato for the squash here,
I thought that would work
- but
I'm not
sure [indecipherable]
but it's not.. it should be ten dollars fifty-five sir
thank you sir
- bye
how can I help you today?
- I'm just enquiring about an item that wasn't delivered
- ah yeah sure,
did you have a tracking number for this item?
- no I don't unfortunately, I just
mailed it in one of the boxes
- oh okay, was it a letter or a parcel?
- it was ah, it was a mug, but it wasn't in a package, it was just loose
- oh, what do you mean? Like it was  just in a satchel?
- no, it was a loose mug.
You know, as you would drink out of
I put nine stamps on it 
and then lowered it down through the
the post box with some string, so it didn't break
- okay
yeah?
- it had an address on it and it had more than enough stamps, so I'm told
but it hasn't arrived
- and it was a mug? And you just, and it wasn't, it wasn't wrapped up at all?
- no, it was just loose
- Did you put stamps on the actual mug itself?
- Yeah, yeah I did
- ah man, you probably should've
put it in a package or something
or a satchel, because that's probably broken
- well I lowered it down, so um, it would've survived
- yeah but, I mean, through its whole delivery process, I mean
it gets handled, right?
so when a mug is sent it needs to be in a box or a padded bag or
at the very least
and without a tracking number,
I'm unable to look it up to find out what's actually occured
- I still had a lot to learn about the
handling process
I realised I needed to plan a stakeout
I was hoping to find
somebody else interested in the
postal service, who might be able to accompany
me
- right, okay
yeah, um
I use condoms though
- sorry, what?
- I use condoms
- although my online ad got a few responses,
I was having trouble finding a
suitable candidate
yeah it's definitely not sexual, I'm just after a mail escort
-  yep
okay, well that's okay, yep
Umm
yes
yeah nothing bad, I've gotta post office box address...
- the man did still seem to know a bit about Australia Post
so I explained to him how they broke my favourite mug 
and my plan for restoring justice
- okay
- like if something that's 500 grams
requires a certain number of stamps
I've got the address on the side there
- are you actually gonna mail it like this?
- something that has a negative weight, they should owe me stamps
- obviously I understand the negative weight business
but unfortunately I can't just sent it like this...
- so you wanna confront?
- not to confront them but just sort of watch from a distance
- okay
nah, look I might give it away mate
- I decided not to go ahead with the
stakeout
luckily the man did seem to have a way to avoid another mug incident
(phone call)
the guy was quite angry
i think he opened with
'oi mate, this has gotta stop'
'I've got this here, it's leaking'
and like it is leaking,
but I don't know what he thought
he sorta made it sound like it'd been used or something
and he was getting angry with me 
and I'm like
'look I'm not the one sending them to myself'
and he's like 'well you need to tell the person who's sending them to stop'
- things weren't going well for me in Melbourne
so I left to see if the postal experience might be any different in another state
- things back to eBay or receiving things from  eBay that's about it
- have you ever mailed any loose items?
- loose items?
- yeah
- like a shirt? what's a loose item?
- well just anything that doesn't have any packaging, you can just write on the actual item
with permanent texta and put stamps on the item
- no I've never done that
- would you like to?
-I would like to do that!
- well I've gotta a lot of stamps here..
- yeah
..if you wanna?
- I would like to do that
I was in the middle of asking 
strangers for their home address
when my tripod became unsteady,
preventing any more interviews
so I wandered the streets of Sydney asking random shop owners if they happened to have an allen key
eventually I stumbled upon a photo store where the
owner was more than happy to help
the man refused to accept any money but he seemed very interested in my one-person operation
so I offered to interview him
(sneeze)
- bless you
taking photo, passport photo, even
portrait photos and we sell the cameras
spare accessories and mobile phone
accessories
about the photo A to Z I know everything, I shall say
I've been for doing all my life
Patricia!
yep
these days, the worst time I ever have
digitalise make our business cripple
these pictures are taken at my home
studio, I have a little bit at home
in my garage I have a set of a studio
- are you sure you want to do this? 
I'm happy to pay
- oh no, yeah, look I'm happy to do the friend with you
even though you are Melbourne
portrait first
okay
1 - 2 - 3
35 days after posting the mug,
miraculously it arrived
my Sydney sample wasn't so lucky
- nothing in my letter box unfortunately
all my other mail's come but not bottle of water
- Ben's shirt couldn't even be sent across the road
yet my potato traveled interstate
I formed a theory
am I special?
- everybody's special
- it was not the definitive answer I needed
so I jumbled up a Rubik's Cube, the only way to read the address was solving it
it didn't arrive
but now that I confirmed I wasn't special,
 I consulted an expert for my next theory
what's special about potatoes?
they're very versatile, you can do anything with them
like the varieties that we grow are mainly Sebagos,
so you can mash, boil, bake,
anything with them, roast them
no, never ever sent a spud via mail
I'm not sure if there'd be any legal requirements 
as far as that goes with food in the mail
that's hilarious
I should try that
you should chuck a tampon in there
- how many stamps have you got?
- lots
- it should be enough
they probably won't look until they get back to the mail sorting place
and then they'll be like 'what the F?'
when items were delivered most of the
time they are wrapped in extra packaging
I was beginning to think that maybe
Australia Post didn't support my loose postage technique
' hi there, you've called- '
I reached out to them to arrange a formal interview 
but I kept getting ignored or denied
I persevered and contacted their head office directly
sending them a strongly worded message,
but they didn't seem to understand what I was asking
- good afternoon, I've received your job application in the form of a sweet potato today
and wanted to touch base regarding your interest in roles,
we have a number of opportunities available which you can on the below link
have you submitted an application online?
- it was frustrating to be ignored
not only as a really good journalist,
but one of their best customers
I tried to watch another Tom Hanks movie to take my mind off things
but it didn't help
I was editing a clip I saved as 'nice
Apple lady' when I found a possible soloution
- what's the address of the Australian parliament? Can I mail it to them?
- I recalled once learning that
the government has to respond to any petition
so I reached out to my high school
legal studies teacher for advice
- it's the only way you can directly
approach Parliament as an individual
in the past there was an example of an
Aboriginal petition that was actually written on bark
- yeah I think there's too much packaging, rapping individual pieces of fruit in plastic is silly, yeah
- which organisations have you seen?
- it's all the big businesses, all the big, Woolies, Coles
- Aldi, that kind of thing, yeah
- have you seen Australia Post do the same thing?
- with fruit and vegetables?
- yeah
they'll deliver it but they'll add plastic to it
- okay
that's, yeah, I don't know
- it's a petition
- yep
- I'm sending it to the Australian Parliament House
- I don't think that is something that you should do
- it's just my signature?
I was able to collect eight signatures,
but I was exhausted
- they used to say that there should be at least 10,000 signatures
I wondered if there was even any point sending it
do you think could could by with 100?
- no, I don't think you would
- then wondered if there was even any point 
to any of this
had I just wasted two hundred and sixty
eight dollars on postage stamps
and in the process months of my life?
- what are you trying to do?
- oh I'm mailing a loose condom
- oh right
and you're videoing? 
- yeah, yeah
- it's a bit like writing a cheque on a fair dinkum live pig
- ah, yeah I suppose so
- then I realised, maybe the most important delivery
was the people I met along the way
- we're shaking hands
- alright
- thanks for coming!
-sick
- I'm a finance broker who has a passion
for condiments
- well I don't  know, I don think that's necessary really is it to send any fruit through the mail?
you
you
