Sir, they're just over Pyongyang.
Begin the transmission.
This is Director Conway speaking.
One week ago, actress/model Tracey Lawson
disappeared while hiking along the border
of North Korea.
You may know her as the ten time Academy Award
winning actress.
[Tracy] Oh my gosh, thank you so much.
The rest of the world knows her as the daughter
of the President of the United States of America.
Intel suggests she's being held at the top
of the Ryugyong Hotel in North Korea.
The President has instituted Operation Ninja
Eagle.
Russell Kang, your mission is to free-fall
down, find the President's Daughter, and
bring her home to safety.
Hey Kang, don't forget your jet pack.
Didn't you hear what happened to Brunswick
three days ago?
Of course I heard what happened to him.
Brunswick and I were the last of the American
Ninja Task Force.
An elite team of militarized ninjas that executed
the most covert missions for the U.S. government.
[laughing]
Why won't you die?
He was more than a partner.
Brunswick was like a brother.
Rockyroad?
You know that's my favorite.
He was killed three days ago trying to save
the President's Daughter.
I'm here to finish the mission.
Kang you better hurry.
You're running out of time.
Time's the only thing I don't kill.
Godspeed.
[Conway] Kang come in.
I read you director.
The laser defense system is about to kick
in.
[Conway] This is where we lost Brunswick three
days ago.
Be on your guard.
Piece of cake.
[Conway] You're not in the clear yet.
Use your jet pack Kang.
His heart-rate's spiking!
Kang, take it slow and easy.
But I'm having a blast.
[computer] Warning, Warning
[Conway] Kang, use the parachute.
Looks like I'm cutting my trip short.
[Conway] Kang use the parachute or
you're gonna die!
I'm trying but the rip chord is damaged.
Sir, he's not gonna make it.
Come on!
[Conway] That was reckless Kang.
It's called winning.
[Conway] One of these days you're going to
have to trust someone other than yourself.
[Conway] The rest of the mission goes carefully
and calculated.
[Conway] This is for your safety.
This is for America.
You got something in your eye.
Director, I'm headed up to the penthouse.
[Conway] Excellent.
Once you secure the President's Daughter,
get her to the southern border where seal
team six will be waiting.
I'm stealing your thunder.
Director you reading me?
Loud and clear.
[Kang] I'm seeing a bunch of toaster sized
devices.
They look like some kind of mad science project.
Our intel describes something like that.
Those are human enhancement devices.
The North Koreans use them to give their soldiers
special abilities.
I see.
Do not touch them Kang.
Those are not FDA approved!
Yea well neither are bullets and they're always
at the top of my grocery list.
That doesn't feel so good.
Huh, figured.
I feel your need for speed.
When do my powers kick in?
Heart-rate is way off the charts!
Everything feels perfectly balanced.
I'm just busting your chops.
I like this thing.
Brunswick you're alive!
What happened to you?
It's ok, I'm gonna get you back to Washington.
Washington?
Yea Washington. Home!
Home.
This is my home.
Washington is a wasteland of puppets.
What?
This is my home.
Alongside Supreme Leader Kim!
Snap out of it. Kim's a maniac!
You fool, he benches two thousand kilograms!
More than you ever could!
My god!
What have they done to you?
You're using the metric system!
They've made me stronger.
They've made me bigger.
They made me better!
Alright, it's sleepy time!
Brunswick, I know you're in there.
Snap out of it!
Come on. Wake up buddy.
We got a mission remember?
[Mission, mission, mission]
[Find the President's Daughter, bring her
home to safety]
Sorry to be a buzzkill.
I'm sorry buddy.
Well this ain't Kansas anymore is it?
Miss Lawson!
[Supreme Leader] Cut! Cut! Cut!
You screwed up the shot. What are you doing here man?
I'm here to save the President's Daughter.
Are you blind?
Can't you see we're filming here?
And you killed our villain.
Get me another gorilla!
That was the ninety seventh take.
You basically put him out of his misery.
So either get me out of here or put me out of mine!
He kidnapped you for a film production?
Makeup!
Honey, you're doing perfect.
Oscar worthy shit right here.
Listen, I'm in the actor's union!
I need food, I need to take five, I need...
And you, get out of here man.
You're ruining my shots!
I'm not going anywhere Kim.
She's coming with me.
알았어, 알았어, enough, move.
Alright man, this is my last scene.
Let me finish it and I'll let you take her
back.
Ok?
Negative. We're finished here.
That wasn't a request.
Get out of here or I'll remove you myself!
How's that for a facelift?
M'am, if I may.
I've been here for a week! It's about time!
M'am, time's the only thing I don't kill.
Stop calling me m'am.
Do I look like a m'am to you?
I'm not sure what you look like but, lovin'
the outfit.
I hope you can move quick in it.
Get away from her you bitch!
Nobody's going anywhere!
Ha ha ha!
You can't stop me man!
I'm the Supreme Leader of North Korea!
Fuck!
[Laughing]
Shit.
Ha ha ha!
In North Korea, no-one can hear you scream!
Game over man.
Here's your Oscar worthy shit!
Go make me a kimchi sandwich!
Now, you die man.
Rockyroad.
Brunswick?
Oh my god, thank you.
It's over.
It's done.
Looks like this is Kim's private car collection.
Looks like he customized them.
I'll finish my last act with a big American
premiere!
I don't think anyone would mind if we kept
one of these now that this is all over.
Director come in.
Kang you're alive!
Have you secured the President's Daughter?
Package secured.
Excellent.
Are you headed home?
Yes but there's a big problem.
[Conway] How big?
[Kang] Cosmic!
We need to initiate the Liberty Protocol.
The President has not approved such measures.
Look, we're on a goddamn spaceship on a collision
course with la la land.
Make it happen!
It's gonna be ok.
Liberty Protocol approved!
What's wrong?
I've only ever done this on simulation.
Let me do it.
I'm trained in Liberty Protocol.
M'am, you want be to believe that?
I want you to trust me.
And for the last time, I'm not a m'am.
I'm the first fucking daughter!
Hold on!
Where are we going? There aren't any roads.
We don't need roads.
Nobody puts Kang in a corner!
That was amazing.
All First Daughters are trained in Liberty
Protocol.
But I did score highest across the boards.
How about we head back to my dojo and you
can teach me some of those moves?
How about we have dinner first?
