

### Relationship With God:

### Putting It All Together

### By

### Jesus (AJ Miller) &

### Mary Magdalene (Mary Luck)

### Session 2

### Published by

### Divine Truth, Australia at Smashwords

http://www.divinetruth.com/

Copyright 2014 Divine Truth

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### This ebook is a transcript of a seminar by Jesus (AJ Miller) and Mary Magdalene (Mary Luck) that took place on 11th August 2013 in Murgon, Queensland, Australia, as part of the Relationship with God series of talks. In this talk Jesus and Mary describe the five basics required for progression towards God – love, truth, humility, faith, and will. They discuss the soul condition and soul progression of members of the audience, and how to overcome fear, which is the major impediment to soul growth.

### Reminder From Jesus & Mary

### Jesus and Mary would like to remind you that any document produced by Divine Truth containing any information from Jesus, Mary or any other person includes only a portion of God's Truth that they have personally discovered.

### It does not and cannot contain the entire of God's Truth since God's Truth is infinite and humankind will forever continue to discover more of God's Truth as we progress in receiving more of God's Love.

### Please remember that due to these limitations information contained within this document may need to be revised in the future.

### Many other ebooks have been published by Divine Truth, including ebooks translated into a variety of different languages.

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### Additional sessions on the subject in this book can be found on www.Smashwords.com/profile/view/DivineTruth

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Table of Contents

### Putting It All Together: Session 2 Part 1

1. Introduction

2. An example of a participant not desiring truth

2.1. God's Law of Attraction constantly brings us truth

2.1.1. An example of AJ's passionfruit vine being eaten

2.1.2. An example of Mary hurting herself when cooking

2.2. Tying the five basics required for progression towards God with the Law of Attraction

2.2.1. An example of a woman who falsely declared an insurance claim

2.2.2. Embracing the Law of Attraction

2.3. The Law of Cause and Effect shows us truth about our life

2.3.1. An example of Mary ordering food in restaurants

2.3.2. Focusing on the cause rather than the effect

2.3.3. An example of plants being damaged by frost and animals

2.3.4. An example of feeling love from audience members

2.3.5. Focusing on the cause rather than the effect (continued)

2.3.6. An example of AJ's fruit trees

2.3.7. An example of birds attacking AJ and Mary's house

3. An example of participants who are terrified of spirits

3.1. The negative physical impact of fear

3.2. Fear causes us to blame others and not love

3.3. Recognising anger as an avoidance of fear

4. An example of a participant who was feeling angry but is now afraid

4.1. Anger covers addictions and fear

4.2. The five basics required for progression towards God in the context of anger, addictions and fear

4.2.1. Feeding our addictions is unloving and damaging

4.3. Progressing from feeling anger and living in addictions to feeling fear

4.4. Fear blocks the absorption of truth into the soul

4.5. An example of AJ overcoming the fear of being himself in public

4.6. Staying open to fear by focusing on love, truth, humility, faith and will

4.6.1. AJ's experience of releasing fear

### Putting It All Together: Session 2 Part 2

5. The importance of focusing on fear

6. An example of a participant who uses many strategies to avoid fear

6.1. Self-pity, avoidance and commiseration

6.2. Self-punishment and fear of violence

6.3. Spirit influence and fear of external judgement

6.4. Addictions

6.5. Placing love, truth, humility, faith and will above fear

6.6. Problems with seeking advice from others who have not worked through the same issue themselves

6.7. Working through issues by examining what occurred when the issue started

7. An example of a participant who had a relationship with an over-cloaked woman

7.1. Addictions in the participant that were met by the spirit

7.2. Tying in the five basics required for progression towards God with the addictions driving the relationship

7.3. Issues of self-love make us suggestible to poor advice

7.4. Problems with seeking advice from others who have not worked through the same issue themselves (continued)

7.4.1. Receiving truth from God through God's Laws

8. Closing words

Putting It All Together: Session 2 Part 1

1. Introduction

The subject is "Relationship With God - Putting It All Together". We're discussing of course the five primary things that we need to do to put it all together.

What we'd like to do today is talk with you about personal questions or general questions that you have on that topic, about your personal experience, and what kind of assistance that you might need in order to put it all together.

2. An example of a participant not desiring truth

**Participant** : I'm in that cage and it seems to be getting smaller. I'm rattling around, just feeling a bit of this and a bit of that, and not really getting a long way. I've recognised that. I think I'm willing to accept more truth about myself and to grow my humility and to just - well I want help with what's the biggest thing I'm not seeing, what's the biggest thing that's going to help me break down that cage?

Well I feel for yourself, Joy, the first thing is you're not as willing to accept more truth as you believe and I feel the fair majority of the audience is in the same boat, actually. We believe we want more truth but the way God delivers truth is through the Law of Attraction, as you know.

The Law of Attraction is showing you things every single moment of every single day. And of course when we're not at-one with God, there are always lots of things that it's actually showing us. There are things that animals do in their reaction to ourselves, that people do in reaction to ourselves, accidents that we have - just physical even small accidents, like when you're cutting up the vegetables and you slip and stab yourself with the knife. These are all Law of Attraction events telling you what is going on. The majority of us have no desire whatsoever to know what they're about. And so what we do is we skip over them. Now every time we skip over a Law of Attraction event it's because we don't want to know the truth. That's the reason why we're doing it.

So what we need to do first is focus on the fact that the truth is the thing that will set us free from the prison that we've created for ourselves - only the truth in fact. And if you think of the prison, the prison is the fear, and the truth is the only thing that exposes fear and reduces fear.

So we have to then assume that if that's not occurring, our fear is dictating to us the truth. What we believe the truth to be is actually determined by our fear, not by the actual truth from God's Perspective. And what's actually happening is that we are very resistive to receiving truth and that's what causes the restriction of our internal life and freedoms. That's the thing.

All of us have the capacity to receive information from God without having to talk to another person. That's a fact. So you don't need to go to someone who knows more than you do and actually find out from them what your problems are, although many times those people would be willing to tell you.

Frankly many of you have come to us in the past and asked what your problems are, we tell you, and all we feel from you is resistance, which means that you didn't really want the truth. In fact a lot of times we feel a desire to argue, constantly, about what is being presented to you. And yet many times myself and Mary are actually presenting to you the very next thing you need to address if you're ever going to progress. And for some of you we presented that to you five years ago and you haven't progressed since then. Actually many of you in fact are in that boat where five years ago you had a conversation with us thinking that you wanted to know some truth, we told you some truth, you didn't agree with it and you've been stuck on that issue for five years. And that's often been the case for many of you. [00:05:15.01]

Remember the doorway to the truth is humility. In other words we have to want to know the truth before the truth will be exposed to us. The truth is always being presented to us, but it's whether we want to know it or not in the moment that will determine whether we receive it. For the majority of us we don't want to know it in the moment. So we wait for a person who we respect to tell us the truth. God is the person you should respect the most and God's Laws are the means by which we get told the truth constantly, and if we truly respected God we would be watching every single thing that's happening in our day-to-day life, brought to us through the Law of Attraction, and that would be the constant message that's coming to us about what's really, really going on.

But most of us ignore that, and then we think we still want the truth. So we go and ask people that we respect, and they might be more clueless than we are in fact. In fact many times I see many of you doing that with other people - going and asking a person who you respect but the reality is they have the same injury or a worse injury than you do. So how are they ever going to help you grow if they have the same or a worse injury that you have yourself? You can't see it because you can't see your own injury. You can't see somebody else's when you can't see your own. So there is this problem with truth constantly.

2.1. God's Law of Attraction constantly brings us truth

Now the real question then becomes how do I address all those problems? Well the first thing of course as we've pointed out is the Law of Attraction - that's God's Messenger of Truth when all other messengers of truth fail. In other words that is the constant message of truth coming to you - constantly, every single moment. The majority of us ignore it, or completely dismiss it, or we try to get away from it, or we're constantly trying to manipulate it. The way we do that is we arrange our life so that we don't have to cope with our own attractions.

So for example you get an email from a nasty person, the majority of us would then just go, block, that's done. I'm never going to get an email from that person again. However you're not considering that you attracted it, and there's something going on in the attraction. Do you think that by blocking it and just shutting it away and turning it off, that you're going to change anything? Definitely not. You're going to continue attracting it and because you've blocked that very, very minor way of someone attacking you, what happens? The Law of Attraction ramps up and now you get it face to face, instead of just by an email. [00:08:32.20]

And then because you've blocked that and say I'm never going to see that person again, what happens is someone gets in your face in a forced situation and actually attacks you, and you can't get out of it anymore. This is what you're going to attract because it ramps up every single time. And what we finish up doing is we ignore the Law of Attraction with all the little things, and because we ignore it with the little things the bigger things have to happen.

So for many of you this is what's going on in your life now is the bigger things are happening, because you've ignored all the little things that were happening up until now that were showing you a certain thing. You've ignored all of those and so bigger things are happening. And you go, "Man, I thought I was progressing, but I'm attracting worse things." Well of course you're attracting worse things if you've ignored the previous things - this is the law. The law is going to do its work.

The reason why God created the law like this is that God wants to lead you to love. Every time you ignore the Law of Attraction what you're doing is you're in fact ignoring love. Many of you hate the Law of Attraction because when something bad happens many of you go, "Oh this terrible thing happened to me", or, "That person's a bastard and this person's this and this person's a bitch and she did this or that..." When you're raving on about all those things you're ignoring one factor, and that is that you are the common person in your life. In your life, you're the person who is the person who is present all the time. So therefore it's your attraction of what's going on right in that moment. You're ignoring that and in that moment what you're doing is you're basically trying to blame other people for what you are attracting into your personal life. That's the first problem we have with our humility. The first problem is the Law of Attraction showing us things, even tiny little things. Perhaps we can give some illustrations.

2.1.1. An example of AJ's passionfruit vine being eaten

Very little goes past myself and Mary's notice at home. Before we went away Mary and I were still sleeping apart - we'd been sleeping apart for some time. I've got this lovely bush outside the back of my tent. The bush was really lush, it was beautiful – there was a passionfruit vine and it was lush with leaves bigger than my hand. It was dark green, it was healthy and everything was beautiful about it. And I'm saying to Mary, "That passionfruit vine is looking real good," and gave it some water or whatever. Anyway we go away for two weeks, we come back home and the entire vine has disappeared. All that's left are these few straggly bits coming out. Possums and kangaroos ate the whole thing while we were away - the whole thing. Now they didn't eat it while I was there, they only ate it while I was away. And this is while we were away in England. The very first thing I noticed - it's all eaten.

I know that it's my stuff because we were feeling quite attacked at different times while we were away, by spirits and by other people and we could feel our own openness to the attack. In that place I knew that because I was open to the attack, there's the reason why those animals could now totally decimate what was very, very healthy before then. Now while we were home, before we went away, that didn't happen and the reason why is because I didn't feel that way. I felt like everything was pretty solid inside of myself, I wasn't open to attack and so everything was working fine.

Now the average person would look at that thing and said, "Oh I should of put a guard on it," or being really upset about the possums and shoot a few possums and shoot a few kangaroos to get rid of the problem. That's what the average person would do. In other words what we do is we externalise the problem, we actually blame the environment for the problem that our soul created. We don't do that at home, we feel what's going on in ourselves. [00:12:50.07]

Do you want to bring up an example for yourself? Like that was my example for me.

**Mary** : That was your example. I can't think of an example now. Just with every interaction that I have in a day; I'm always looking at what in me is attracting it.

2.1.2. An example of Mary hurting herself when cooking

Can I bring up an example that is a common one for you?

**Mary** : Yes please.

When you're cooking, very frequently you burn yourself or cut yourself.

**Mary** : Always on my left side.

Always on the left side.

**Mary** : If I hurt my leg it's my right one ... But that's just reflecting to me a lot of self-attacking emotions that I still am working through and a lot of feelings about being hard on myself. I did it again this morning as I was making brekkie. (Laughs)

Cutting up fruit.

**Mary** : Yeah it was on the blender and that's something that very often happens to me.

So just little events like that, if you notice little events and feel about them, then the bigger events don't happen. And so the bigger the events that are happening in your personal life, it means that you've ignored all the little ones.

**Mary** : I feel that God is always giving us opportunities to deal with the little events. Very often we're used to controlling our environment or our life so we don't have to face what gets presented to us. It is right there, someone says, "Hey I'd like to catch up with you," and you think yeah, I don't really feel comfortable in that person's company so I am just going to make an excuse and say how I've got something else on that day, which is telling a lie, and it's also avoiding what you've attracted. And because of that then, as AJ's saying, you're going to have to attract something else that's going to confront that resistance within you. So I've really had a change in my outlook in terms of what God is trying to show me and teach me and I'm noticing if I take up those things, growth happens. Even if you don't deal with everything within you that created the attraction, you've at least started to grow some awareness about it or you've at least started to see some truth about yourself if you go into it with the desire to do that rather than the desire to control and manipulate what's happening around you.

2.2. Tying the five basics required for progression towards God with the Law of Attraction

So if we look at these five primary things, and then look at just the Law of Attraction, in terms of our attitude towards the Law of Attraction, for the majority of us, our attitude toward the Law of Attraction is that we're using our will to try to avoid it most of the time.

Now if you really honoured the Law of Attraction from God's Perspective, you would never use your will to avoid your Law of Attraction. You would only take actions based on desire, and whenever anything that you didn't desire did happen, you'd see it as a Law of Attraction event and you wouldn't be trying to avoid your fear by manipulating this law, or attempting to, because it can't be manipulated. All of God's Laws can't be manipulated.

Or what we attempt to do is we go, "Okay I'm not going to go out because every time I go out, somebody treats me badly, so I'm going to stay home." Well someone will treat you badly at home then. And then you decide well I want no one else in my life so I'm going to just be a hermit. And then you'll have animals treating you badly. The Law of Attraction is going to work every single time, and if you're using your will to manipulate it or try to avoid it, then you are not honouring this beautiful loving law. You're not honouring the truth of God's Laws. You're not honouring it from - the use of your will. [00:16:26.16]

With regard to faith, you don't have any faith in it. In other words you don't have faith that if you address the soul-based emotional injury that creates the attraction that everything will change. Now many of you have gained some faith through past experience that that happens because you've had some events where you've faced up to them and then all of a sudden something changes.

2.2.1. An example of a woman who falsely declared an insurance claim

A few people came up to us yesterday and one lady said to us that she had falsely declared an insurance claim twenty years ago. Then she realised that that was wrong and so what she did was she wrote to the insurance company about her false claim, realising that she might even potentially get put in gaol for the claim. According to the policies, that's what can happen. She wrote to them and she gave them back the money she claimed, plus interest, for twenty years. Now they of course had never received a letter like that. So you know what they did with that? They rang her up and said we have never received a letter like that. Ever. It's amazing so we're going to give you all the money back. (Laughter) So they gave her all the money back.

Now that's an example of how things can change when you deal with some things. Now there was a lot of fear that had to come up in that process, a lot of desire to live in harmony with truth that had to come up in that process and act upon what she knew was truthful inside of herself. And when that happened then this beautiful law attracts some positive events. This is the beauty of this law. You have the negative events attracted but if you act in harmony with the laws, now through that there's some faith built in the Law of Attraction that it's not just all bad, but these beautiful things can happen if you act in harmony with the law.

2.2.2. Embracing the Law of Attraction

**Mary** : If I can add to that on the subject of faith, when we start to receive the smaller Law of Attraction events and work with God with them and say, "Okay God's a Loving God who's actually tried to show me an error within me, I'll embrace this opportunity even though it might feel a bit scary or a bit painful," we begin to see that God doesn't have this hideous law that's there to traumatise us with terrible events.

Which is the way most of us do believe the law is set up.

**Mary** : It's actually, wow, when I really desire to participate in my growth, God brings me very gentle events that I can actually begin to grow and change with and I don't end up ever attracting what are seemingly harsh events because I'm already an active participant. So we begin to have more faith that God's actually a loving God as well and that God's Laws are loving.

So can you see just by engaging this law in a different way you then build faith in a number of things? Firstly faith in the law itself, faith that God is actually got a loving motive for actually creating this law and so forth. This is stuff that builds in you when you engage it. Every time you avoid the law or try to manipulate it in order to avoid something, you are not honouring those things. You're not honouring your will or your faith. You're also not demonstrating any humility because it's your soul that attracted the event - your soul. Nobody else's: your soul attracted the event. And yet most of the time we say, "Oh that person did this and this person did that and that animal did this and we should have done that." We come up with all these external reasons why we should stop the results of the law and that is our lack of humility in play, that's telling us how little humility we have in that moment. [00:20:25.05]

**Mary** : Or we self-punish. We go, "Oh I keep attracting these terrible things, oh that's terrible, that's my condition. It's all horrible and God's trying to tell me that actually I'm full of error." Sometimes that's not what God's actually trying to show you. Sometimes there are really positive things. What I've found is that engaging my attractions with the media that I talked to you guys about last time, I found that actually, yep God's helping me with my fear but also with my passion. I love Divine Truth, I want to talk to other people about it and all this fear has been stopping me for years and actually I'm embracing what's coming towards me and I'm getting more passionate and more joy in my life. So often we have to be humble.

Even in events where before you were completely afraid of.

**Mary** : Yeah and thought that they were traumatic and horrible. With exactly the same event and now I feel like, "Oh that was quite enjoyable, I learnt something about myself." So there's humility to the error in love but also the willingness to just feel through the stuff that comes up without analysing it too much, without going, "What is God trying to teach me?" just to feel the feeling that's there.

Feel what you feel in that moment. What the Law of Attraction is bringing you in that moment is probably related to the feeling you're feeling right at that moment. Of course that makes sense but for most of us what we go is, "What's that about? I don't know what that's about." What are you feeling like at the moment? That's the fastest way to find out what it's about.

The other thing that we're not doing with the law itself is honouring the truth about it. God's Truth is that this law is a perfect, loving law created to help you grow towards love and truth and towards God. Even if you're not growing towards God it helps you grow towards love and truth. And when you engage this law you're going to have the most possible benefits that you can possibly have. It's the messenger of truth in fact.

We're not honouring the truth at all when we try to avoid the law; when we try to manipulate it, when we try to get away from things, when we don't do things because we're afraid, when we manage our life, when we arrange our life to avoid discomfort, all of these things that the majority of us do every single day.

In the Western world we do it more than anywhere else. If you're in the middle of Africa and you're living in a hut that's made out of sticks and the rain comes and it's dripping everywhere, you can't avoid certain things about the law. But here we can build a roof over the top that's made of tin and avoid all the drips. Yet our soul may still have the same attraction but we've just created a comfort to avoid the law, that's all we do. And this is what we do most of the time. In the Western world we do it more than anyone else. So in this regard, we have less respect for the law than most other people in other countries that don't have those means to avoid the law.

And then if we look at love with the Law of Attraction, as we've pointed out it's a loving law. Most of the time with the Law of Attraction we forget that God loves us. We think that the law is really hard and harsh and terrible and we actually imply to God that you're hard and harsh and terrible because I'm getting this hard and harsh law doing certain things to me. And also we don't have any love of ourselves honouring that we created the events, whether they're positive or negative, we can at least honour that we are a very powerful creator.

Like when you think about it, if you create total devastation financially and you're destitute completely, you're a powerful creator. That's pretty hard in the Western world to create that. So you're a very powerful creator and sure your soul's creating powerfully in what you view as a negative direction, but at least you can honour the fact that these are your creations; these are your emotions that are creating these things. Now someone in the third world is going to struggle to honour that because of course they have oppression and all these other things that are often the cause of their lack of financial stability. But here we don't have these things, so here we can say pretty much we are primarily the personal creator of our own lack of financial welfare. Really, that's the truth. [00:25:03.19]

And yet we go, "Oh this happened and that happened and the government wanted this from me and the people wanted that from me and so I had to declare bankruptcy and I had to go through all that process," and all of it is an avoidance of what the law is bringing you and also a lack of love for yourself. Because if you truly loved yourself you'd go, "I honour the fact that I've created all of these things, it must be something pretty powerful in my soul to create that because the average person doesn't create that. So it must be something pretty powerful in my soul. If I get to that and release that from my soul, I won't create it anymore." Now that's pretty good knowledge, isn't it - that you know that your life can change if you change something. And all you need to do is feel the feelings that you go through while you're feeling destitute. That will help you work through what's going on, what's happening.

So can you see even with the Law of Attraction, just the one law that brings you the truth, the majority of us are exercising our will in the opposite direction. We have no faith in it, we don't have any humility with what it brings to us, we don't want to know the truth of what it's telling us and most importantly, we have no love of self or love of anyone else when we look at the law. And we constantly project outwards saying, "You did the problem to me," and we're constantly projecting to God saying, "Why did you make this crumby law?"

**Participant** : I've just realised that I've been using my will in a very self-reliant way, thinking that I'm seeking more truth and humility and totally ignoring God's Way, which is the Law of Attraction.

Exactly. The Law of Attraction is a beautiful law designed primarily to help you. When nobody else can help you, this law is always helping you. That's the beauty. So even when God cannot ask a spirit guide of yours to communicate to you what the problem is of what's going on, when you can't communicate with your guide, when you don't have a friend who's in a better condition than you to tell you what's happening, you don't have somebody who notices ... well most of our friends do know what's going on for us but most of them are not good enough friends to tell us the truth because they're so afraid of losing our friendship or what we might do in reaction to the friendship. So for the majority of times the Law of Attraction is our friendliest way of finding out the truth, and it's God's Way of finding out the truth. We all can engage it, we all have the same attractions, and we all have a soul that engages this law. Yet the majority of us ignore it completely.

So there's our first problem. Our first problem when we look at that law is we have no will, no faith, no humility, no truth and no love. Can you see if we focus on the development of these things – love, truth, humility, faith and will in everything that we are linked to then automatically our outlook on it all changes?

2.3. The Law of Cause and Effect shows us truth about our life

Now what's another law, and this is a part of the Law of Attraction, that will help you find out the truth about your life?

**Participant** : Cause and effect.

Cause and effect. So there's another law called the Law of Cause and Effect. And what is that law basically saying? Everything that's happened in my life today has got a cause that happened sometime prior to today, or sometime prior to this very moment, because there had to be something that caused this effect. That's what it's saying. And if I can find out the cause, and get rid of it, then the effect will also disappear. Is that powerful to know that? It's a powerful thing to know.

So what do the majority of us do with that? We say that's a heap of rubbish. And we use our will to change the effect. Many of you are doing this moment-by-moment during your day. You're using your will to change the effect of something that caused that effect. Now of course when you do that, you're going to have to do the same thing tomorrow, and the next day, the next day, the next day and after a while it becomes so habitual that you think it's normal.

Do you think a person that's in the Celestial spheres would do the same thing? Do you think a person in the Celestial spheres would go and put a whole heap of tree guards around all the trees? No. But we're still constantly doing it.

2.3.1. An example of Mary ordering food in restaurants

**Mary** : I have a good example that I do all the time. When we go anywhere and eat out, we order food, which has been happening quite a lot because we've been travelling quite a lot. Whatever AJ orders, it comes in a timely manner, it's delicious, it's wonderful. Whatever I order, usually sometimes there's an issue with it. Often it comes late or they get it wrong because I don't want dairy and I don't want all these things in it. The cause within me for this effect is about me feeling like I'm allowed to have my desires without shame, or feeling that I'm not being greedy by just having what I want and also my fears of people not hearing me. I feel like people aren't really interested in what I say, so when I say things people aren't really interested in what I say. So my way to get over this effect is to then say, "Excuse me, I just ordered this and it hasn't come, or this is wrong, or ..." Instead of just sitting with the fact that there's my soul again, I just attracted the wrong order or a late order or somebody completely ignoring my order.

I have to have a really bad day for that to happen generally now. (Laughs) But as you know, I have described to you before that when that has happened in the past, I've sometimes cried for a couple of hours and dealt with that emotionally.

**Mary** : I've also had to resist the temptation to avoid the effect by just, "I'll have what he's having." (Laughter) Because it works!

She does that quite frequently, when she's particularly suspicious in particular, don't you?

2.3.2. Focusing on the cause rather than the effect

So if we truly honoured the real cause, which is something that's going on in the soul and if we really want to get rid of the real cause of any negative event, then of course we need to focus on the cause, and not the effect. But most of us are focusing on the effect and not the cause.

So what do we do when we get sick? We focus on the effect, not the cause. What do we do when we get a disease? We focus on the effect and not the cause. What do we do when something happens around our house that we're not happy with? We focus on the effect and not the cause. And most of us are doing this moment-by-moment every single day; focusing on the effect, and not the cause.

Now when we do that we're using our will out of harmony with one of God's Laws of Love, and we have no faith in it. We have no faith; we're demonstrating to ourselves that we have no faith that if we change the cause then the effect will disappear. That's what we're demonstrating. We're saying the effect wasn't caused by the thing that God's saying to us that it was caused by. So we want it to be caused by something else. We're constantly saying to ourselves, "It wasn't caused by me, it was caused by those dirty scoundrel possums that are there, that ate all my tree. That's the cause." [00:33:20.17]

2.3.3. An example of plants being damaged by frost and animals

It sort of feels like to me sometimes that I need to remove every single thing and I plant one tree and if it gets eaten, deal with the cause and then plant the second tree. That's what I need to do. And then if that gets eaten, deal with the cause and then plant one more tree. And when I get to the point where I plant the tree and nothing happens, ah, now I've released all the causes.

Most of us don't want to do that. You know what we do? We plant out the whole orchard because we're impatient and we want a result and all these kind of things. We plant a whole orchard and the whole orchard gets eaten. And we're worried about that happening and so what we do is we put all guards around everything in the orchard and of course they get all torn down and damaged. And as Peter knows down at his 15,000 acre property, pigs can come along and rip up every one of them, and at the end of the day you're going to be able to do nothing unless you deal with cause. That's the truth.

So can you see for the majority of us, we're constantly focused on fixing the effect?

**Participant** : So I was just thinking about frost, with trees, so would you even not put something around it?

No. All of our mangoes survive frosts and the reason why is because I have very little fear left. When you have fear you get cold, is that not true? When ice gets cold and when water freezes into ice then obviously it destroys the plant. We have minus six, minus seven sometimes at home, and all the mangoes survive. But they didn't survive the possums. So they survived the frost, not a problem, but they didn't survive the possums. The possum's ringbark the bottom of every mango. And that means of course that the mango dies; the whole tree dies.

So I'd be far better off saying stop this whole pointless exercise of planting fruit tree after fruit tree after fruit tree hoping for the best. Plant one, see how it goes and if it doesn't go well, deal with the emotion then plant another one once the emotion's dealt with or you think it's done and then watch what happens with that one and so forth and so forth until you can plant one that actually survives. And then you'll know you'll have dealt with these types of things, that's the reality.

I see a lot of people saying that they're dealing with their emotions and they're getting to causal issues but their life around them isn't changing. And that to me is indicating that you're not getting to the causes, no matter what you think you reached. If your life doesn't change, the effect will always change when you reach the cause. And so that's another awesome feedback system that God's set up. [00:36:33.25]

2.3.4. An example of feeling love from audience members

So if I can go even further than Mary with that. For many of you the love that comes from you towards other people has not changed the entire time we've known you. Many of you have listened to Divine Truth for four or five years and yet over that period of time, the love that comes from within you to other people cannot be felt to be any different than it was five years ago. That tells you that on the essential issues in your life, you have not changed.

2.3.5. Focusing on the cause rather than the effect (continued)

So we need to be honest about that - if there's no change occurring, it is because of our unwillingness to engage these five principles of love, truth, humility, faith and will in our day-to-day life. It's as simple as that. If we were humble to it, we would of course focus on the cause rather than the effect. So instead of going around fixing up the effect, we would focus on the reason why this particular thing happened, and we would try to fix that instead. That's what we would do if we were humble. If we're not humble we try to fix the effect because we don't believe the cause has anything to do with us when we're not humble; we feel that the cause is always to do with something else. When we're humble we see the cause has to be something to do with us because it's happening in my life. It's my life, I'm the centre of my life, so whatever is happening in my life has to be related to a cause that's inside of me, inside of my soul. I would understand that. But when I'm not humble, I don't understand that, what I do is I want it to be caused by something else. I want someone else to blame, I want somebody else to punish, I want somebody else to attack. I want somebody else to be hurt rather than me. This is what we do when we don't understand that law.

We also are not truthful about it all because the beautiful thing about the Law of Cause and Effect is that it's telling you the truth every moment, similar to the Law of Attraction. It's telling you the truth every single moment. And yet what do we do with that? We focus on the effect rather than the cause. We say, "I don't want to know the truth, I don't want to know why this happened to me. All I want to do is fix it." And God's saying to you, "You cannot fix anything unless you know why it happened." But the majority of us are going, "I don't want to know why it happened, I just want to make it different." Now if we do that, we're never going to make it different because the only way to fix what happens is by finding out the reason why it happened and fixing the reason. That's the only way to do it. Then of course when it comes to love, we're not loving ourselves as we're going around fixing up effects, are we? [00:39:39.14]

2.3.6. An example of AJ's fruit trees

It's like me planting my orchard, having it all ripped apart and destroyed, and then I go and plant another orchard. I spend thousands of dollars on plants and everything, and I'm not being loving to myself. It would be far better if I just dealt with the emotion and then all of the plants are protected. Once all the plants are protected I can plant a plant. In fact once all the plants are protected, it's highly likely that any seeds that are in the ground will automatically just come up anyway. But instead of doing that, what do I do? I go around trying to fix it up, and in the end it's pointless. So that's why basically I've told Brendan to give up planting fruit trees. I've got to fix something because all of them are getting destroyed at some point. Now most of the time now when we're home they don't get destroyed but as soon as we walk out the door and go on a trip, come back, ten or fifteen days later, they're all destroyed. So that's telling me that whatever I was feeling while I was away was very different to what I'm feeling when I'm home. And that's telling me that while I'm away I can't protect my property for some reason. My soul is not protecting my property for some reason while I'm away. When I'm home, my soul's protecting my property. So there's obviously something going on there.

So there is a lot of information it gives you if you're willing to have a look, but we don't. All we want to do is deal with the effect instead. So we go around putting our guards up. We decide, "How do we stop the possums? I'll build a great big enclosure over the whole tree." If you go out in the forest there's no enclosure over a tree; it's all just sitting there no worries, not a problem at all, no enclosures over the tree, nothing around it. It still grows, even if it's a fruit tree, it still grows. But if you come over to my backyard that's not the case. So there's obviously something wrong. And we've had to work through a lot of feeling - attacked type of emotions that are all about these kind of things, feeling bullied and attacked and all these kind of emotions that it brings up and as we deal with more of those, then less things get attacked.

2.3.7. An example of birds attacking AJ and Mary's house

**Mary** : I have a very good example about that. I think you might have mentioned in a talk previously that we used to have a magpie. Was it a magpie or a peewee?

A Murray magpie.

**Mary** : A Murray magpie that would attack the windows of our house, it would just fly in loops around the house.

Banging into every window. Many of you have got that happening at home? Yes. Banging into every window.

**Mary** : Banging in to every window and it got so bad sometimes that it was just almost all of the daylight hours.

I don't know how it ate because it never seemed to eat.

**Mary** : No! We were worried it was going to fall out of the sky from starvation because it was so horrendous.

And our windows would be plastered with bird poo all the way down the windows that it had attacked, and every month or so, I had to get out and deal with the effects of all this bird poo. So I'd get out the window cleaning gear, clean it all off, wash all the windows, and within a day, half of its back on there again from this bird.

**Mary** : Exactly.

Of course it would be great to throw a rock at the bird or shoot at the thing. (Laughter) Well that's what my father would do.

**Mary** : Well it's interesting because I was just talking to Lena about this before we started; they have a similar problem at their house sometimes. She was saying and I had to agree, that we both started out going, "We love nature, we love birds, we just want to live in nature." And then after this happens consecutively for a couple of weeks you're like, "I don't like nature, I'm very angry!" So God's showing me something here, my resistance to this issue, and I don't want to face it.

I even had a day where I really let myself feel my anger. I love birds, as many of you know, but on this day, I got a heap of rocks and I started throwing rocks at the bird. (Laughter) I knew I'd miss the thing but I was just try to...

**Mary** : You didn't have your glasses on. (Laughter)

No it was hopeless! But I was just trying to express my rage with the whole thing. [00:43:55.26]

**Mary** : So we went to the dark side, it was like "Argh!" Eventually I realised that God was trying to teach me something, and it was actually about the use of my will. I was sitting in a lot of fear and allowing a lot of spirits to attack me and just feeling blah and horrible and not getting through it. This one day I realised, hang on, God's trying to show me I have a will here, and I'm allowed to say no, I'm not listening. I'm not kowtowing to whatever the influence is. And the bird does not attack our windows anymore. For five years that I've lived with AJ, it was a constant issue.

Everyday.

**Mary** : I worked through that one emotion and the bird doesn't attack the windows anymore. But I was just talking to Lena about something that happened at their house last week.

**Participant** : It moved over there!

**Mary** : It moved over, the same bird.

I don't think so. They're territorial, so I don't think so. (Laughter)

**Mary** : No ours is still around, it walks around the house.

They're actually merrily going around. We watch him sometimes out the front now and he's digging up out the front, under the dubosia piles, and he flies towards the window and then he stops. And then sometimes he stops and then claws up the side of the window and picks off the bug that he wanted from the window, but he doesn't do any poo on the window anymore and then he flies off. He's a really polite bird actually now. (Laughter) It's like he was Jekyll and Hyde almost.

**Mary** : It's almost like the bird took on demonic properties. We were - like this bird is evil! The poor thing - it was just very spirit influenced. (Laughter) But having worked through that, last week we were at Lena and Igor's house and sometimes they have some similar emotions to me where they have some fear, and it attracts attack.

And also when we do filming down there; of course that brings a lot of the spirits who are surrounding us at our home down to Lena and Igor's home with us.

**Mary** : Well last week what happened was Cornelius decided that he wanted to do an interview about his life or about some part of his life, and Igor decided to be the interviewer.

This is very important for both of them because Igor's never wanted to be an interviewer.

**Mary** : He works behind the camera.

And Corny has always wanted to avoid any camera where possible.

**Mary** : Yes. He's trying to avoid it now! So for the guys it was a bit scary, to put it mildly. And so the guys were sitting there and there were no birds around, and there hadn't been any birds attacking the house, and all of a sudden birds started attacking the window.

While they were filming.

**Mary** : While they were filming. Lena told me that a bird started attacking every window of the house. Separate birds, on the main window opposite where the guys were sitting, there were three birds in cycles. Then they would stop and go, okay, what is going on for us? They would feel it, and every bird would disappear. So that's a clear demonstration of the cause and effect. All those birds are gone from your house now, aren't they?

**Participant** : Sort of.

**Mary** : They still come back.

Depending on how much you're open to attack, yeah.

**Mary** : But I thought that was a pretty incredible example. It reminded me of that Hitchcock movie "The Birds", where there were just birds attacking (laughing) and then they'd own it and they'd all go away until they got afraid again.

So what we're getting at is, both of these laws, the Law of Attraction and the Law of Cause and Effect give you direct feedback. They always give you direct feedback, and the majority of us ignore it. What we try to do is change the effect rather than the cause. So what they do now with the pigeons in a lot of countries around the world, in a lot of cities, is they put up these metal spikes that are so sharp, that the bird can't land on the spike without getting punctured by the spike. So of course all the pigeons that are doing it or all the other birds that are doing it don't land there anymore. Well that's an illustration of dealing with the effect. And that is not a very loving thing to do, obviously. But we are constantly doing that in our day-to-day lives, if you analyse your day-to-day life. [00:48:20.20]

3. An example of participants who are terrified of spirits

**Participant** : This question is about my using my will in the wrong direction. It's two questions actually. Dementia and suicide are quite prominent in the females on my mother's side of the family. I personally have almost no painful childhood memories. When I allow myself to feel that something in my current life hurts, it pretty will never goes naturally to any childhood event that I can remember. So the first question is, is it enough to feel the hurt, or is my unwillingness to see that people in my childhood have harmed me affecting my progress?

Well for yourself the problem is very different to what you think it is. Your family is very open to spirit influence and the main reason why is you have a multigenerational problem with fear. Fear has been passed down from generation to generation and each subsequent generation has had a stronger build-up of fear, which once the previous generations pass in the spirit world, they then influence. And so you have a very large amount of fear that got passed down through these generations of your family, coming from a European background two wars, having experienced two wars, and so forth.

As a result of this constant fear, you attract a large number of spirits who influence you on a moment-by-moment basis, and you're completely unaware of it, as are the majority of your family in fact. All of your children are affected in the same manner, you're affected in the same manner from groups of spirits using your fear against you basically but you don't see it as that.

You've basically got yourself, you've got spirits who surround you who wish to use your fear against you, and there's another group of spirits around you who wish to have you not have to experience any fear at all. So there's one group that's basically saying to you don't experience any fear at all and ironically, by not experiencing any fear, you're attracting also this other group which are utilising your fear and manipulating you and many of the actions you take as a result, through your fear of them; through your fear of spirits. So now you've got two groups of spirits who are influencing you greatly.

A participant (below) has two groups of spirits (above) who influence her in opposing ways

Now when you feel some of your grief, the reason why it's not taking you back to your childhood is because it's not your grief. It's their grief. The group of spirits who are afraid have a lot of grief and you're often experiencing their grief because you're unwilling to experience your own. You are also terrified of this second group of spirits who are angry because when you choose to feel your own, this group of spirits will up the ante, they will up their attack of you because they want you to be suppressed. They want you in your current mode, that's all they want. They don't want anything else. They don't care about you. They just want this. So you're terrified of the second group spirits who are angry, and you agree with the first group of spirits who are afraid spirits internally. [00:52:00.25]

Neena, you are definitely in the same category in terms of the amount of fear. Your family has the same amount of multi-generational fear, and you're full of it. And you don't realise it, but both of you spend the majority of time trying to get away from your fear with almost everything that you do. The projection of anger is very simple through you. What a lot of people feel from you is anger. The reason why they feel anger from you most of the time is because you're terrified of the people who are projecting the anger, and they are using you, using your body, using your ectoplasm, to project anger to other people. This is why many people are afraid of you as well. They're not necessarily feeling you; they're feeling a mixture of you and the spirits with you. The spirits with you are enraged and enraged with a lot of things; enraged with God, enraged with having to feel, enraged with quite a number of different things, and those spirits are totally willing to project anything through you and you're just letting it happen because you're terrified of them. That's why you're doing it.

Now this is your primary problem and if you think about it, I can remember saying this to Neena nearly three years ago in a talk that she completely ignored at the time. And I've actually had a personal conversation with you, Karen, about this particular problem. I've also had a personal conversation with your daughter Anna about this particular problem, all of which she doesn't necessarily believe. And Neena, I've also had personal conversations with your daughter about this particular multi-generational problem, most of which she has completely ignored to her own detriment. It's caused her to have some psychotic episodes as a result and so forth. These are all the results of this problem - this problem of the spirit influence that's going on and the amount of fear that you have to even acknowledge it, and in particular the amount of fear of the potential violence of these spirits that surround you.

**Participant** : So if I'm terrified of them, and if a lot of emotions that I'm feeling are not my own emotions, what do I do to prevent that happening?

Well you need to understand firstly that you're making a choice to not feel your own emotions because you want to feel the emotions of spirits around you, because you know that if you feel your own emotions that the second group of angry spirits will attack you, and you'll feel worse. The reality is you feel worse when you try to attempt to feel your own emotions. You don't want to feel that feeling, so you give up the process.

**Participant** : When I do feel my emotions I feel that God is with me. Is that really God then?

No, a lot of it is these spirits trying to falsify to you what's going on. God is always with you.

**Participant** : But I can feel it more when I'm...

Yeah that's not who I feel you're feeling. No. Because I've spent a little bit of time in your company, and quite often when you say that God is with you, I don't feel God with you at that time, I feel some spirits with you telling you that if you down this track - that's the way they want you to go. There is a deep feeling inside of your families and therefore all of your children, your parents as well, the parents that have passed - the same feelings exist in all of them - and the same feeling is, avoid fear, avoid fear, avoid fear at all costs. Do whatever you can. If it's self-punish, self-punish, which is something that you are given to doing at times, Karen. Self-punish rather than feel fear - this is what these spirits want you do to. And you're willing to engage it because you're unwilling to feel the terror of being attacked, which is a multigenerational problem in your families this terror that exists. [00:56:20.26]

So the problem with the emotion is that it may not take you back to an actual childhood event, because it's a multigenerational problem that's been passed down over generations through different wars and so forth, which all of the generations prior have experienced. And so since it's that, there is this feeling in you (and you're a very logical person in particular, and many in your family are very logical as well) and you go, "Because I don't know what the emotion's about, I can't feel it." So you have a complete closedness almost to feeling emotions that you do not understand.

Now you've attempted to try and get to some of them, but the problem is you're so open to these spirits, these ones who are violent with you, that whenever you try to get to them, they try to shut you down, and you're so willing to be shut down because of how much fear you have. So what I would do if I was you is focus totally on praying to God and having trust in God, having some faith that you want to get to see and feel this fear that's inside of you.

**Participant** : So all the trees that are being eaten in my garden would be a starting point too maybe.

Yes, that will all be fear of attack.

**Mary** : Can I just add something related to what you're talking about? I'm just thinking about you feeling "God" with you. As someone who has a lot of fear also, as I've progressed I've found that what I used to think was a good feeling or a sense of wellbeing was actually just me getting away from fear for a little while. So when you're pleasing these spirits, there's not as much threat coming towards you, so you feel better. It's not a real better, and what I've found is that it wasn't real happiness, it wasn't real joy, it wasn't even love. I used to think that happiness, joy and love were just the absence of me feeling terrified.

The absence of fear.

**Mary** : When actually those feelings and God are much lovelier feelings, but we can only really experience them more fully when we're willing to confront fear.

**Participant** : Just lately I've picked up on a desire that I wasn't fully aware of and I'm absorbed in that all day, that's avoiding all of that too isn't it?

Yes, very frequently it is. It's great if it's a real desire, so go along with it, but if you find you're not emotionally connected to what you're doing, then it's a great indication that actually there is a deep avoidance going on. And in fact, these spirits here, the ones who are afraid they desperately want you to find something that you're not afraid of and just do it with a passion and that way avoid the rest of your life. That's what they're attempting to achieve.

**Mary** : And both you and Neena have had lives like that, where you just get very busy doing things and you avoid.

3.1. The negative physical impact of fear

You're also both very harsh on yourself body wise, very hard on yourself. Your fear is wrecking your body. It's affecting how you look, the lines that you have on your face. All these different things that are happening are all the effect of the fear. Once you release the fear, a lot of these things will disappear naturally. But the fear is going to make it worse and worse and worse while it's within you. So how old are you at the moment? [00:59:43.00]

**Participant** : Just turned fifty-seven.

Fifty-seven, so you're seven years older than myself. So in terms of how the lines on your face and how your body feels, I know you're very, very fit but I also know that you're very hard on yourself. You force your body into lots of things that actually, when you start feeling, you'll feel quite tired doing. Your body is exhibiting in itself the fear that's governing your life. And the same applies for yourself Neena; the fear is governing your life and affecting your body, affecting far more things than you're currently aware of.

My suggestion is to pray, have some faith firstly that when this fear is felt and released that you will feel a lot better than you currently do, have some faith in God that God wants you to feel this fear and get past it. Have some faith that once you've released the fear that these spirits will have little or no effect on your life. And have some faith that if you love yourself that these things can occur. But at the moment that's not what you have. You would rather find any other emotion than fear and you spend a lot of your life doing exactly that, trying to have some kind of emotional experience other than fear.

3.2. Fear causes us to blame others and not love

**Participant** : The other question, which I don't know is relevant now, is seeing how I have hurt others in the same way that I'm feeling hurt a useful alternative?

Well yes you have hurt others obviously but one of the things that you need to understand is that the main reason why we enter into anger-based or hurtful-based situations with other people, where we blame other people for things that they either might have done or may not have done, or we just have a certain feeling that we should blame them, or we try or attempt to hurt them, a lot of this comes from fear. This is something that almost everyone who is afraid does every single moment.

3.3. Recognising anger as an avoidance of fear

When you honour fear first, you don't care what love is, that's the reality. Now you, Karen, have a very strong conscience, so when you notice yourself overtly being in a rage, you stop yourself, and you control yourself. But there are many times when you are actually in a rage both with your children and with other people and a lot of it's very passive aggressive, and because it's passive aggressive you let yourself get away with the fact that you actually feel rage. And the rage is covering over the fear.

So whenever you feel this rage rise within you, the key thing is to go, okay this is not really about rage, it's about fear. And all I'm doing when I revert to rage is I want to feel powerful, I want to feel more powerful than my own fear. And so in those moments when you feel angry, the best solution is to go, okay, let's go back to the fear and see what this fear is all about. In fact you prefer rage, shame, self-attack, attack of others, anything really other than fear. And this is the problem with this kind of multi-generational kind of fear is that it makes you feel like you prefer anything else other than fear. And yet it's the fear that you need to go to. [01:03:16.27]

**Participant** : I don't enjoy feeling angry, I make myself do it but I have to say I'm really afraid of feeling fear, I don't know how to feel fear, so I need to work on that.

Exactly. The reality is you are storing fear in your body so it's wrecking your body but you still don't believe you're able to feel it. But the reality is once you allow yourself to become more truthful about this is all about fear, and you allow yourself to be sensitive to that and you allow yourself to be aware of what's really going on around you, you will easily feel your fear. Easily.

**Mary** : Remember yesterday AJ drew the picture of the truth is only exposing a certain amount of fear? If you just really allow yourself to see more truth, more fear will be exposed and you won't have to try to feel fear. It will happen.

And for both of you just the thought of feeling fear is enough for you to have a cry. Can you feel that? Just the thought of feeling it is enough for you to cry. So that tells you how strong the fear is actually within you. Just the thought of experiencing it makes you feel like crying, so it's very important to understand that.

4. An example of a participant who was feeling angry but is now afraid

**Participant** : I was just going to ask, do I have the same issue as Karen and Neena? Because I know I get into a rage quite easily. A few months ago I was depressed all the time and just constantly in this crappy space and addicted to the crap pretty much. But I decided that I was going to get out of that and so I started taking more actions, like with things that I love doing. So I stopped being angry, because I was angry pretty much every day, just angry about everything. I just hated the world, I hated people, I hated myself, I hated my family, I hated Justin. So as every day went by, I stopped being as angry, but then I realised that I'm just in this fear all day. Like every day, I go outside, I talk to anyone, I go downtown, do my things that I need to do, fear, fear, fear, fear, fear, just living in this fear all the time. So while it's nice to not be feeling angry every day, and every moment of every day, I'm now feeling afraid every day but living in it and like Karen was.

This is what I would call progression.

**Participant** : Okay. Whereas like ...

You would prefer anger than fear.

**Participant** : Well yeah, that's why it's obviously easy for me to ...

**Mary** : But even though you prefer it you're still going with fear, which is good.

4.1. Anger covers addictions and fear

It's great. Remember I've drawn this frequently where I've said we have fear, and then we have our addictions which cover over our fear, and when our addictions don't get met we revert to anger.

Anger covers our addictions and fear

So basically when you stay in anger what you're doing is you're staying in this tantrum, "Give me what I want, give me what I want, give me what I want, give me what I want, I'm not getting what I want!" And everyone around you is not giving you what you want. So it's with everything, even the animals are not giving you what you want. The birds are not giving you what you want, where you work's not giving you what you want, your partner's not giving you what you want, your mum and dad are not giving you what you want, nobody's giving me what I want and so now you're angry with everything. Now that just covers over some addictions. And you're addictions are the things that are suppressing your fears. So when you're prepared to feel this fear, to actually feel it, feeling it is the only way it can be released. So when you're prepared to feel the fear, the anger will easily disappear. But now you'll feel terrified most of the time. [01:07:34.11]

**Participant** : Yeah, that's what's happening. And it's horrible and I'm getting to this point...

And it's not a drawback. (Laughter) I'm saying it's not; it's a good thing.

**Participant** : Well I guess I'm getting to this point now where it feels, it's just happened for so long, I think it's been, well I know I made the choice when I moved into this house that I'm living in now, so it's been four or five months or something. So I guess it's getting to the point now where it's becoming more and more painful because I'm just in it every day. So it's like I'm just starting to go, "Oh alright, hang on, I need to actually deal with this now."

Exactly. See the beauty is you're no longer reverting to anger.

**Participant** : Well sometimes I am still.

All the time I'm talking about. So what happens with the majority of people is they stop the anger because they realise the anger is getting out of hand, and they start feeling the fear that's underneath the anger. So they start feeling the fear but then the fear gets too intense, and what do they do? They go back to feeding some addictions and that in fact will produce more anger when those addictions don't get met. They never get below this fear threshold.

The majority of women who are here present today and yesterday are in this boat. You are not getting beyond your fear threshold. So when you are crying, most of the time you're not crying about causal emotional events, you are crying in a tantrum. You are having a tantrum. Just like a little child's having a tantrum, you're having one. You're more willing to cry than you are to feel fear, that's the reality. And remember how many times have I said that to you as a group? For women what have I said is the main problem? More willing to feel their sadness than they are willing to feel their fear, but their fear is what caps most of their sadness. So how are you ever going to get to the real sadness unless you're prepared to feel your fear first?

**Participant** : That's what I've noticed with myself. I was saying to Mary yesterday that it's like I'll start crying about something but I can actually feel this fear there. I'm getting to the point now where if I'm crying and I am feeling afraid, I'm starting to realise hang on, all that crying that I have done hasn't done anything.

No because it's been a tantrum. Crying in a tantrum never does anything because it's not the cause - it's an effect.

**Participant** : Yeah and the fear isn't feeling any less than what it did because I was deceiving myself.

Exactly. The only way fear can be released is by feeling it. And the majority of you ladies do not want to feel it. You can feel the stubbornness in you about this, honestly you can. You don't want to feel it - you don't want to feel your fears. And you want to revert to anger rather than feel your fear. The majority of you feel this way. I asked you yesterday why the majority of you are single; this is one of the primary reasons why the majority of you are single. You don't want to feel your fear, and that's a primary cause in fact. Your fear of opening up your heart in a relationship and having the man abuse you or use you; your fear of all of that is so intense that you would prefer to be angry rather than open up your heart and be loving. That's what you'd prefer. So this is a big problem. [01:11:07.04]

4.2. The five basics required for progression towards God in the context of anger, addictions and fear

So let's look again at these particular five essential things for our progression towards God - love, truth, humility, faith and will, in terms of how these things can cure that. You see when we exercise our will to feed our addictions our anger will build and no fear will ever be addressed. The majority of us exercise our will to feed our addictions - physical, emotional and spiritual addictions that each of us have. Some of you are addicted to the concept for example that Jesus should be a person who comes along and solves all your problems, that he does all the work for you. You're addicted to that concept. Of course when Jesus comes along and somebody comes along and says he's Jesus and he doesn't do that, you go, "He's not Jesus, because Jesus would do that. Jesus would fix all my problems for me, he's the sacrifice. He's the one that has to do all the work and I should be able to just sit in my lounge chair waiting for him to do all the work and when he's done all the work, I'll feel better." It doesn't work like that, but that's the way we want it to work and that's the use of our will. This is an issue of love - we don't want to understand that this emotion is inside of myself. No one else can release it for me. No one else can do anything about it, other than me. If I love myself, I would honour that.

**Mary** : Can I add to that? I often see people saying, "I've got to feel my fear, I've got to feel my fear," so they think I'm working on humility but in fact a lot of the decisions we're making in our life, what we decide to do is actually to avoid fear. So it's never going to work.

So you're actually using your will daily to avoid your fear.

**Mary** : And this is how will and humility support each other. When you really want to feel yourself you'll use your will in order to make decisions that will help you feel, support you feeling, that will confront your fears. Also when you use your will in that way, it will help your humility develop because you're not avoiding things. Did I explain that clearly?

I don't know if everybody understood, but I feel that I did.

**Mary** : One out of one hundred and fifty! (Laughter) Who probably already knew it already, but anyway.

So whenever we're using our rage to mask our fear, we're not loving ourselves, we're not being honest with ourselves, we're not being humble, we don't have any faith in any of God's Laws that once we get to the cause that everything will be cured. We're using our will to feed our addictions. Love, truth, humility, faith and will are not happening in that place.

4.2.1. Feeding our addictions is unloving and damaging

When we are feeding our addictions, we are not loving to ourselves. Most of you believe that you are loving to yourselves when you feed your addictions. Most of you still believe that. Most of you still think that when you get up in the morning and desire that coffee that giving yourself the coffee is love. That's what you believe. Or you go out to dinner and you're with some friends and they all have alcoholic drinks and you decide, oh I'll just go along, it's okay, it's just one time or whatever, you think that's love, feeding your addictions is love. It's not love. [01:14:28.01]

In relationships you think feeding addictions is love; many of you feel that feeding your addictions in almost every case is love. It's not love at all. You are permanently harming yourself until such a point in time as you are willing to feel your fear. So while you're feeding your addictions, you are avoiding your fears and while you're feeding your addictions you're never going to get to your fears. Therefore you're never going to get to the grief that's under it. You're never going to be at-one with God feeding your addictions, ever. That's reality.

Yet the majority of you are not even aware that if you passed right now today, the highest desire you would have when you entered the spirit world is to feed your addictions. All of what you've heard about Divine Truth will just get chucked out the window to be honest because in the spirit world it's much easier for you to feed your addictions than it is here on Earth. It is also faster; the passion and desire to do it is very strong and there is no external resistance to doing it. In other words there are no people on Earth who might put you in gaol if you do it.

Here on Earth if some of you fully acted upon some of your emotions right now, you'd be thrown in gaol, because it wouldn't be acceptable by society, so that's the only reason why you don't do it. When you get to the spirit world, you won't get thrown in gaol if you do it. So it's highly likely you'll go ahead and do it.

So these addictions are a primary thing that we're still feeding, and as a result we're not understanding that it's unloving to continually feed your addictions. It's not honest, it's also not humble, it's also not developing any faith that in the end when you remove your addictions you'll be happier. Most of you don't believe that. Most of you believe that the only time you're happy is when you get your addictions met. And the reality is from God's Perspective that you're going to be much happier once you release the addictions from your life. But most don't believe that. Most people on Earth don't believe that let's face it, do they.

You tell the average guy on Earth that gets drunk every weekend that if he gave up the addiction to drinking every weekend that he'd actually be happier and he'd tell you you're an idiot; that's the only happiness that he has. He's working solidly through the week so he can get enough money and so that he can drink most of it away on the weekend.

This is the way the world we live in thinks and many of you still think that way with your addictions. You still think that feeding your addictions is going to bring you happiness. It's not. Feeding your addictions finishes up destroying your life actually. And if it doesn't destroy it while it's here, it'll certainly destroy it while you're in the spirit world because when we don't deal with an addiction here on Earth, you know what happens when we pass? We then try to feed the addiction in the spirit world and we just keep trying to feed it, keep trying to feed it and many of you will keep trying to feed your addictions after you hit the spirit world for years. You'll never get out of the hells of the first sphere doing that, but you will keep doing it, keep doing it, that until you exhaust yourself with the pain of it. And then you'll stop. My suggestion is to stop earlier than that. [01:17:58.25]

4.3. Progressing from feeling anger and living in addictions to feeling fear

**Mary** : Avarna can I complement you because I feel you've taken a step...

You've taken some active steps to do that.

**Participant** : Now I've just got to take the next step.

You're in a critical condition now. The critical condition is this: you don't want to feel all your fear. You need to acknowledge that you don't want to feel it all and you need to take care with your next steps. The reason why is there will be a tendency to want to avoid it and go back to anger.

**Mary** : Or addiction.

**Participant** : Yeah I've notice that happened just with some stuff that was happening a few weeks ago. I won't go into the story but something was happening for a couple of weeks and I was really angry and just in a rage. Before that, I think it was the last seminar maybe, where I was saying that I had repented about having harmed people and was noticing more and more everyday just what my actions were doing towards people. So I started to feel before this sort of two week thing that happened that I had love in mind every day.

So you were feeling positive.

**Participant** : Yeah. And you know I was consciously aware that every time I'd interact with people just my own stuff that was going on that might have harmed them, and the choices that I was making. But then this thing happened and then I realised a short time after that, hang on, all that stuff just flew out the window and I just went right back to square one. And I'm like, "This really sucks and I want to go back to how I felt just before that."

So what you're starting to feel is the difference when you're truly happy compared to when you're just happy in an addiction. And what you will start to feel when you're in that place is you start realising that every time you revert back to the addictive processes, it actually hurts more now. Before you would have been normal with that but now it hurts.

**Participant** : Yeah, and more and more I feel with Justin, the more that I keep engaging in the addiction it just feels wrong and it feels like it's not getting us anywhere and we're just creating the same cycle like we have for the last three years, that same thing - we talk about the same problems, I'm angry about the same stuff, he's angry about the same stuff and so it's just that next step of...

Yeah that's right. The pain of that starts going, this is both of us wanting our addictions met, both of us not wanting to feel our fears, once you get to this layer where you start feeling your fears, you don't want to desert it, you want to let yourself go through it rather than getting out of it. And what we see a lot of people doing is they hit this place of fear, and unfortunately, the fear is like a huge wall in our minds, and also often in our emotions - it's a big wall. So you think of this as a big brick wall, you know like with all the bricks here and here's little you coming along to this wall.

We view our fear as a huge wall

**Participant** : That looks pretty huge!

You nudge against it a bit and then you go, "This is too big for me to handle." But what we don't realise is one truth in that place. All of that fear is actually inside of you, so therefore you are already handling it. All you need to do is experience it to release it. You're actually already living in it. So therefore you're already handling it, it's not going to be any worse than what you've already had to handle. [01:22:04.04]

All of our fear is already inside of us

**Participant** : The thing is like the more I live in it anyway, the worse it feels every day because I am trying to avoid it.

**Mary** : It actually takes more energy to avoid it than to feel it.

And that's the beautiful thing that God's done too with our soul. It takes more energy to avoid an emotion than to feel the emotion. So it makes sense to just feel it.

**Participant** : Something I was going to ask because something I still don't understand probably is about living in truth because what I have in the past...

Rather than you going through an explanation can I just give a few things about that? It's impossible to live in truth while you have so much fear inside of you. Impossible. So give up the idea of living in truth. Give up the idea of being present because it's impossible to be present while you have so much fear inside of you. Give up the idea that you're connected to anything, because you're not connected to anything while you've got so much fear inside of you. Just focus your attention on feeling the fear. Nothing else.

**Participant** : But haven't you said in the past that you need truth, love and humility to be able to grow towards God?

Yeah but what you're being now is being truthful. You truthfully have a whole heap of fear inside of your soul. You're now being truthful about it. Before when you were angry, you weren't truthful about it. Now you're being truthful about it. Now you're actually starting to choose to feel it rather than blame other people, blame your environment, blame the world.

**Participant** : As much, I'll say it still happens.

But you're starting. Like I said; it's a process that you're going through. And this is a more truthful place; you are living in more truth in that moment. So forget about trying to live in more truth, just focus on one thing, this fear is what I have inside of me and this is what I'm feeling right now and I need to feel this until it's all gone. Focus on that.

4.4. Fear blocks the absorption of truth into the soul

See the problem with fear is it prevents the absorption by your soul of truth. So no matter what intellectual truth you believe you have right now, it cannot enter your soul unless you release your fear. And this applies to everyone; truth cannot enter your soul unless you release your fear on the same subject. It can't enter your soul. It's only entered your head. Right now most of the things that I've given you about Divine Truth have only entered your head. And it's only entered your head because you've been unwilling to feel your fear. When you feel your fear now your soul will start absorbing the truth and then it will be automatic to live in it because your soul has absorbed it. [01:24:53.29]

**Participant** : Well I found that a little bit because I remember at the last seminar, I had a feeling like I wanted to come and talk to you guys but I felt really afraid and just because of past experiences that I've had and my fear then...

Past experience's talking to us have been terrible, haven't they?!

**Participant** : Well I mean my own feelings that have come up.

But how many of you feel that? That past experiences of talking to us have been terrible? This is a common feeling.

**Participant** : Yeah, but I purposefully made the point of feeling through a bit of the fear before the seminar, and then I came and spoke to you guys afterwards and it was really nice. I'm like, I'm so stupid, I make up this big stupid idea of what I think is going to happen and how I think you guys are going to be angry at me ...

Yeah, we're angry at everyone all the time.

**Participant** : Yeah, but it's like I blow up this big stupid picture in my head and then normally I'll go, "Oh no I don't want to go and talk to them because it's too scary and they're going to be like this and that," and de, da, de, da. So it's been good to just sort of feel through some of it.

Do you understand this principle that if fear is inside of your soul, truth on the same subject will not be able to enter your soul? So any truth that you think you've heard has only gone into your mind, it hasn't gone into your soul on any particular subject. So if there's one subject where there's no fear at all, then that truth may have entered your soul. But any subject in which you have fear, your soul cannot absorb the truth while that fear exists. So give up trying to live in truth on those issues because you won't be able to. It's just a fake existence doing that. The best thing you can do is feel the fear so that you're able to have that truth absorbed. That's the best thing you could do.

**Mary** : So you could welcome truth about yourself, you can welcome the fact that yeah, I'm frightened, that's a truth about yourself.

I'm terrified of most things.

**Mary** : And there I am again, I'm afraid. Well that's a truth about me - I just avoided that and I was nasty to that person - there's a truth about me. That's a truthful way of living and it helps you expose your fear more and more. But a lot of us get to the point of going, yeah I'm afraid and then we kind of, because we're afraid, we step back from it and begin to rationalise the other reasons why we're doing things. For example, "I just had to tell them a truth," when really it's about pushing away an interaction that was making us afraid.

4.5. An example of AJ overcoming the fear of being himself in public

Can I give you an illustration of my life again? Before I allowed myself to go through the psychological experience of coming to terms with my own identity, I used to have many memories about my identity of course and I just put them in what I would classify now as the fear basket. It's also called the too hard basket. You know that basket? So here's the basket and it's called the too hard basket, which really should be renamed to be the fear basket.

The "too hard" basket is really our fear basket

What I used to do with all of my experiences is I would put them in this basket if they got too strong. There were a lot of experiences I had where I thought I could handle the fear. One of them was I used to speak in front of around five thousand people at one point in my life. For two days beforehand I would be beside myself with terror, speaking to large groups of people. Eventually I got so used to doing it that I was quite relaxed. I actually believed that I had no fear at all about speaking in front of large groups of people. I had no fear, so eventually I spoke in front of these large groups, so in other words my habit made me think and feel like I'd reduced my fear. [01:29:21.11]

So along came all of the issues of having to work through my emotions, I start working through my emotions, and you know what happened? I couldn't speak to one person without getting afraid. That fear was in me already and I had just used my will in such a strong negative manner, putting everything that I was afraid of in this too hard basket, anything that I felt like I wouldn't cope with, I would habitually get to the point where I could do it and do it in a seemingly relaxed manner, while I internally still felt the terror which I was denying. And I got to this point where I couldn't even speak to one person without getting afraid.

Now at that time I thought that I'd made a terrible mistake because I went from being able to speak to five thousand people to only being able to speak to one person and still being afraid. I used to go shopping in that place when I was afraid of one person and I would be too afraid to get out of the car to walk into the shopping centre to buy the things that I need. Now that's a bit of trouble when you're living by yourself because there's no one else to do it for you. So eventually what I tried to do was I'd go to the shopping centre and during this phase I would feel all of my feelings. I'd go to the shopping centre and I think I've told you this before; I would sit there for four hours, doing nothing, having people looking at me, going, "What's going on with him? Why is he sitting there with tears rolling down his face?" and whatever. And I would deal with the fear that I felt in the shopping centre. Now eventually I dealt with most of this fear and now I can be myself completely no matter who's around.

So the audience a few weeks ago for the media that we did, was I think about two point something million, and I was still able to be myself. But I had to go through this place where it looked like everything was getting worse because that was the place where I started to feel what was in the too hard basket and therefore feel the fear that was present. I had to go through that place.

When you're going through that place, you believe things are worse but actually they're better. So some people have come up to us recently and said, "Oh you know I'm really worried." And you go okay, "So what are you worried about?" And they tell us this whole story, and you say, "Why are you worried about that? That's because you're in fear now. That's fantastic." And they go, "But I'm all confused and my life feels worse," and I say, "Yeah, it's going to feel like that. It's going to feel like that because you're now feeling your fear. You're going to have all sorts of Law of Attraction events triggering your fear now because you're willing to go through them.

4.6. Staying open to fear by focusing on love, truth, humility, faith and will

**Participant** : I wanted to know how to stay open to that fear. I feel like you really did just answer it for me.

But it's a very good question - how to stay open to the fear. The way you stay open to the fear is, you focus on these qualities of love, truth, humility, faith and will.

**Participant** : And that's what I wanted to ask as well as loving myself, because I was hearing you say before with the example of the orchard about staying open, and I know that I'm really spirit influenced as well so how do I stay open?

Well let's look at each one of these and look at how it affects staying open to your fear. Remember when we place fear as our God, as we spoke of yesterday, that's the main reason why we don't do these things – love, truth, humility, faith and will. What we do is we say that fear belongs up the top in a priority list, where fear comes before love, fear comes before truth, fear comes before humility and so forth. Once we're prepared to feel our own fear, we no longer honour fear in that regard. In other words we no longer place it as the highest priority in our life; we no longer see it, even though we feel that it should be; we no longer will allow ourselves to continue placing it in this high priority in our life anymore.

And what we do in that moment, when we love ourselves, we're actually allowing ourselves to feel the fear; that is loving yourself more. See before when you're denying your fear, that's not loving yourself as much because your fear's in you are wrecking your body, wrecking your life, having all of these attraction events occur, the cause of all these negative events, and that's not loving to you in that moment. When you start allowing yourself to feel this fear now you're loving yourself more, this is wonderful. Like God's going, "At last my daughter is letting go of some things"; this is how God sees it.

We're also in a more truthful place because most of the time if you think before we feel fear, most of the time we believe we have none or very little. We tell ourselves, I haven't got much fear, I might be afraid of you know ... and usually you come up with physical things, like I'm afraid of snakes, but I don't really have much fear of emotion, I don't have much fear of people. But once we start getting more honest with ourselves we start realising that our primary fears are actually our personal emotions. Our primary fears are not a snake or a spider or some other physical thing but rather what's inside of us \- shame and other emotions inside of us are our primary fears. So when we honour the truth of that and honour the fact that we start feeling the fear, we are now in far more harmony with God and therefore we will be able to feel God a lot more in that place.

We're also far more humble if you think about it because now instead of reverting to anger and control and addiction all the time, which is what we use to stay away from our fear before, now we're saying - I'm refusing to go to my anger all the time. I'm refusing to go to my addictions all the time. Instead what I'm going to do is to be humble to the experience of this fear, even if it feels terrible, even if I feel terrible for six months or twelve months, that's how long it takes.

4.6.1. AJ's experience of releasing fear

For myself my primary fears took me around nearly four years to release. So it took me nearly four years to go through the process of releasing most of my fears. Of course I've been tortured and I've had all other sorts of things happen, things that you haven't had happen so there's a chance that you'll take less then that if you allow yourself to feel your fear.

But if you really have faith in God, no matter how long that process takes, you will do it. And that's what I had to come to terms with. How much faith do I have with God that God is leading me through this process to get me beyond my fear? And I realised that a lot of it depended on my will. I had to be willing to stay in this place of feeling fear rather than always trying to get myself out of it, always trying to take some kind of alternative action such as distract myself, go and do something, get some exercise, you know all the other things that I'd try to do to reduce the feeling of this fear.

In fact I got to the point where I had so much fear in my body that I found that I had to lay up to four hours a day in my bed just flat, feel the fear in my body and just feel in a panic for those four hours. I used to do that every single day, and remember I did that for nearly four years, so by the time the four hours dissipated, I could feel the fear relieved itself from my body and then I could get up and do some things without fear, but only then. And that took around four hours a day for me. Now like I said if you've been tortured or other things have happened to you, then naturally that might be the case for you too. [01:37:45.09]

It was wrecking my body so much that when I began processing fear, when I was thirty-three years old, everybody who met me thought that I had Parkinson's disease because I would shake, and they'd say, "What's wrong with you?" And I'd say, "Nothing." I would be shaking so much that everyone could see me shaking so much and they'd all be asking me what's going on. I didn't know what was happening at the time until I started feeling that and then I realised that's what it's all about, that's why I'm shaking like this.

Now after I went through a lot of my memories about my identity and all those kind of things, I went through another bout of it, which took four years and then I came out of that, now I feel much better, much better. I still have fears that I recognise, but now it doesn't govern my life anymore.

Now when you can see that if you really honour each of these qualities, love, truth, humility, faith and will, then they will help you feel this fear. But all you have to do is compromise in one of these areas and all of a sudden you won't be feeling fear anymore. So if you compromise by saying, "I don't want to use my will to feel my fear," and bang, you will find that you won't be able to feel it anymore. Or if you compromise by going, "I don't have any faith that if I release my fear that it can actually be released, I don't have any belief in that, I don't have any belief that I can be perfect without fear." and because you don't have any faith that it's even possible, you're not even going to try. You won't even try; you'll try everything else other than that.

So many of you have spent five years with your fear going, "What else can I do other than that? Oh I know what I'll do, I'll have a relationship, that'll help me get out of some of it," or I'll have a bit more sex or I'll drink a bit more or I'll try and stay in my body or I'll do these practices or whatever it is that you try to do to avoid fear, I'll be busy. I know what I'll do, I'll get rid of my single house over on the sunny coast that's got a lovely garden already and I'll buy forty acres over here and then I'll have so much work to do that I won't even know what I'm afraid of. Many of you have chosen to make that decision for that one reason actually: to avoid a fear. And that's really not having any faith in God that you can address the fear.

So when you actually allow yourself to hold on to these very positive qualities, you'll find eventually that you'll get to the fear and you'll want to go through it. You'll want to. And every little bit you go through, there's another relief in my life. Another thing gone that I don't have to worry about ever again. Ever, in all my future. And because you're willing to feel your fear, you won't be focused on feeding your addictions. So when you hit the spirit world, when you feel terrified, instead of trying to go and get an addiction met, you'll go, I'll feel my fear instead. You'll make that choice. And you'll be in a far better condition when you do that, a far better condition. In fact you'll probably be in the second sphere if you get to that point while you're on Earth because the first sphere is all about fear. It's all about fear. [01:41:35.27]

Putting It All Together: Session 2 Part 2

5. The importance of focusing on fear

The reason why the answers to your question take so long is because there is a lot to explain. Often too I think we want a yes or no answer, or we'd love to have a simple answer; many of us would prefer to have the answer that says, "Don't worry about that." (Laughs) So it's very good if we can be fairly thorough.

Can you see that a lot of the things we've already discussed in the last couple of hours have been about fear? In fact many of you don't realise how important it is yet to actually address fear. There's still a desire to avoid fear and a desire to do almost anything but feel fear. I remember a conversation Mary and I had, it would have been maybe six to twelve months ago now, I can't remember exactly, and Mary was asking me at the time, because she wanted to write a blog about being present in your body. I was reading what Mary had written and she listed all these different things about how to stay present in your body. And she listed all these things about drink and eat and...

**Mary** : I haven't posted them on the blog yet; you're spoiling the suspense! (Laughs)

Anyway, all these different things.

**Mary** : I'm joking. Share them.

And I said to Mary, "Look, darling, I don't know why you're writing this blog." And she said, "Well, what do mean? What's wrong with it?" Mary often goes, "What's wrong with it now?" (Laughs) She doesn't do that anymore but that used to be the case. And I said, "Well, you don't realise that everything that you've said would automatically happen if you didn't have any fear." So you know how people write all this stuff about how to be present in your body and all that stuff, the only reason why you're not present in your body is because you're afraid and you're not feeling your fear. That's the only reason why you're not present. Fear in fact is the main reason why you're not doing most things.

For many of you, you've now listened for three to five years of presentations involving Divine Truth. For many of you, you've been to like 60, 70 or 80% of the talks we've ever given. Now I would call that dedication. Now there's a reason why you're dedicated like that. There has to be a reason. There has to be a soul-based reason why you want to do that given the fact that you've hardly progressed in that time. (Laughter)

So I honour the fact that you have inside of yourself a desire for love, truth, humility, faith and will. Inside of you there is a desire for these things, a desire for love, a desire for truth and so forth. Many of you have a desire for these things inside of you, you do. But you know what causes you do dishonour these desires? Just fear. Every single time, whenever you fail to honour these things, love, truth, humility, faith and will, it's always because of fear. Always.

Fear prevents us from honouring love, truth, humility, faith and will

And can you see from that concept that fear then must be the thing that you address the most? Because without letting go of it, many of these things - love, truth, humility, faith and will - will not be possible. Many of them will not be possible. Every time you honour fear you will not be able to be loving - ever, actually. You will not be able to be loving. So you can think you want to be loving as much as you want but if you honour fear, you will never be able to be loving.

In fact perfect love throws fear completely aside. When you perfectly love there will be no fear in you. The only thing preventing a person with a desire to be at-one with God from being at-one with God is the fear that exists inside of them that they are unwilling to release because if they released the fear, the sadness will just come out of you. It'll just come out. The only reason why the sadness isn't just coming out is because you're afraid of it. So it stays in.

So can you see that the majority of work that you will need to use your will to do will be surrounding fear? Now for the majority of you, you don't want to know that. This is why I've given so many talks about fear because fear is the thing that stops you from being all of these things - love, truth, humility, faith and will. And it's your exercise of your will to avoid fear that causes you to not do any of these in a perfect way. So you can't love while you're in fear. You don't even want to hear the truth when you're in fear let along do it. When you're in fear you don't want to even hear it. You cannot be humble while you're in fear, it's impossible. You will most of the time revert to rage or at least to addiction when you're in fear and you don't want to feel you fear. You won't be humble. You won't have any faith when you're in fear because the only thing you believe in is your fear. That's the only thing you really have faith in. [00:07:03.18]

So instead of having faith in God, faith in God's Laws, faith in the process, faith in love, faith in truth, faith in humility, you'll have no faith in any of those things while this fear remains in you. You can think you can do it; you will not be able to. While this fear remains inside of you as a feeling and doesn't come out, and the only way it's going to come out is by you feeling it, it's impossible for you to love, impossible for you to want truth, impossible for you to be humble, impossible for you to focus on faith and to use your will appropriately. When I say impossible to be humble, that's probably the only thing that's not impossible. But when you put fear above everything else, then it will be impossible. You have to start seeing this as just an emotion. It's just an emotion. The majority of you don't see it as an emotion; you see it as a monster. That's how you see it. You don't see it as an emotion. It is just an emotion, that's all.

6. An example of a participant who uses many strategies to avoid fear

**Participant** : I've lived in fear and terror and have been aware of it before I met you. It's been my major thing. I don't do any of that stuff - love, truth, humility, faith and will - because of that fear. I'm really aware of that.

So you are now well aware that your fear is your God, basically.

**Participant** : Yes. I was beginning to access some terror and fear and now I just feel that I have lost my confidence in doing that. I want to do it! - I don't care about crying and stuff like that. (Participant is crying)

Now can I just stop you for a moment? The comment that you have lost your confidence in doing that, can I say that your confidence was misplaced in the first place. You had confidence in yourself doing it. The person you need confidence in is not yourself. The person you need confidence in to process fear is confidence in God. So when you say you have lost your confidence in doing it, I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing. Because the real person you need confidence in is God.

God's got your back. And you don't believe that at this point, that's the problem.

**Participant** : I have accessed that feeling of reliance on Him during that, for little bits.

When you did process? Yep. Good.

**Participant** : But now I just feel like I'm blocked by everything. You know by self-pity, punishments, spirits.

So let's list some of the things you're blocked by. So self-pity, self-punishment.

**Participant** : Spirit influence, a huge investment in my facade because I'm so afraid of being judged and rejected.

So you're worried about external judgement of you. Of course a lot of these things are internal judgements, aren't they?

**Participant** : In my addictions, I just see them and I'm aware of them and yet I just can't seem to make that step.

To avoid them?

**Participant** : To let go. It's like they've got a strangle hold on me that I just can't seem to let go of them. It's really, really difficult.

Alwyn can I just say to you, it is wonderful what you are saying. Because these are the primary reasons why most people don't deal with their fear, all these things - self-pity, self-punishment, spirit influence, external judgement and addictions. What you're expressing really, very well, is exactly what the majority of people will need to look at while they're working through fear. But please continue. [00:11:45.23]

**Participant** : I also have come to not feel like I'm relying on other people saying what fear processing looks like and feels like.

So what would you call that?

**Participant** : Sort of comparing and worrying that I'm not doing it.

Doubting yourself.

**Participant** : Doubt yes.

But really what it is, is seeking confirmation from others, isn't it?

**Participant** : Yep.

Which can you see is actually just a fear anyway? In other words you're not going to do it yourself unless somebody gives you confirmation that you're going in the right direction. So that's really just a fear of going in the wrong direction yourself.

**Participant** : Yes, I mean I think those are ...

Your primary ones?

**Participant** : The primary ones that I feel. And because that fear is with me all the time it's not like I'm ever happy. You know, I can cry and make myself feel okay, but it doesn't work like that for me, it's just ...

Exactly. The majority of people in fear feel the same way as you do, to be honest. So let's look at some of these things because some of them are things that we do in order to avoid, and other things we do because they're a part of our fear that we need to break down. And other things are happening to us because we're attempting to get away from the feeling. So I'll try to help with each one of these things in terms of what's actually going on.

6.1. Self-pity, avoidance and commiseration

Self-pity. What do you feel self-pity's about? Any ideas? Do you have any ideas yourself?

**Participant** : Well it's like you said yesterday about, there has to be another way. I don't know, I haven't found it.

It's a way of avoiding, it's a choice to avoid, I agree. And what you're trying to choose to avoid is responsibility for whatever is going on. So it's usually responsibility to feel an emotion. So instead you have pity on yourself about having to feel the emotion rather than actually feeling the emotion itself. It also is born from a desire to have other people feel pity for you. So quite often when a person goes into self-pity, they're also really wanting other people to feel sorry for them but nobody is, and so they take on that role themselves. [00:14:37.11]

**Mary** : So is that commiseration? Desire for commiseration?

Yeah desire for commiseration internalised, if you like. You want yourself to commiserate with yourself about having the emotion rather than actually taking responsibility and feeling the emotion. That is a great way of avoiding fear. A lot of these are actually avoidances of fear you'll find.

6.2. Self-punishment and fear of violence

Let's look at self-punishment; self-punishment is a great way of avoiding fear because what you do when you punish yourself is you prevent anyone else from punishing you during that process. And what it indicates is that you're actually afraid of other people punishing you but you don't want to feel that fear and so what you do instead is punish yourself and that way you get away with it.

**Participant** : I think you mentioned that, or Mary did, as barter; bartering with God and bartering with others to avoid it.

Exactly, yeah. And there is this feeling that many people have from their childhood, which is an actual feeling, in that many of us had it created while a child, that when we punish ourselves, we get away from our parent punishing us. So there is a very strong motivation of avoiding violence in self-punishment. So what you're often trying to do when you're self-punishing is you're trying to avoid external violence perpetrated by somebody else, towards yourself. And so you punish yourself first, in order to avoid what they would do if you didn't punish yourself. So again, this is really a fear of other people.

6.3. Spirit influence and fear of external judgement

Now spirit influence is a lot about fear of other people. The reason why we get so influenced by spirits frequently is because we're terrified of what other people think, what other people do, what other people say and so we are extra open to absorbing what they tell us and because we're extra open to absorbing what a person tells us, we're also extra open to absorbing what a spirit tells us. And the spirit tells us to do this or do that, we may even think it's our own feelings even, that's how much or how willing we are to do what somebody else wants us to do.

Now many of you learnt that when you were a child as well. The way you learnt it was the parent projected at you a certain emotion of rage when you didn't do what they wanted. And because when you're a child you're very sensitive to that, what happens is that you then learn that as long as you do what mummy or daddy want, you won't get the feeling of rage projected at you. And you also learnt that when you got the feeling of rage projected at you it meant automatically that you'd done something wrong. Now some of you rebel against that but the majority of us don't. The majority of us go into doing what the parent wanted instead. So this is what partly attracts the spirits with us as well.

This is also why we are so sensitive to external judgement because we're basically on hyper alert. If you can imagine it like you are in a radar scanning everything around you, 360 degrees around you, you're scanning everything and you're going, okay, there's a bad feeling.

**Participant** : Yeah, I call it the rejection radar. I know it.

And most people in fact know of it, they can scan a whole room and there's the person I've got to be afraid of, because they can feel what the barrage is coming from that person. And many of us have this very sensitive radar from a very young age; we learnt to be very, very sensitive about everything that's happening around us.

We've got this radar, and we're not concerned about any good emotion in that place. So if somebody loves us, we skip over that because that's a feeling that you don't have to worry about. If somebody approves of you, skip over that. Somebody really quite likes you, skip over that and you skip over most things with the exception of only the things that you know are going to be traumatic to experience. What this does is it makes us desensitise to loving emotions, because we skip over them in our scanning and we are ultra-sensitive to any unloving emotion. You know that feeling where you're ultrasensitive to the unloving emotion and not sensitive at all to anybody really loving you or caring about you? When you're going around and you're scanning, this is how you see the world now - anything that's loving is safe, anything is out of harmony with love is not safe. And now, instead of love, our focus becomes avoiding what is not safe. That's our primary focus. So this makes us very, very open to the absorption of external judgement. [00:19:46.20]

So if someone has a bad opinion of me, so when Robert has a bad opinion of me over there, I can feel that immensely. Oh it's just terrible, I can't handle it. And yet when Robert has a nice feeling about me, I can't feel it at all. I'm not even open to feeling it because I'm only open to being sensitive to the things that are bad because they're the things that I'm trying to prevent. To be frank with many of you, you know these feelings. Many of you know this is what goes on. But for yourself and most people who are in a lot of fear, this is a heightened sense of awareness, of everything going around as long as it's unloving. It's not a heightened sense of awareness of loving things; you don't know who's even loving you in that moment. Because of this you're very, very tempted to ignore love and only respond to any form of judgement that comes into your sphere of awareness. And so you're very sensitive to external judgement.

Someone just has to say, "Oh, your hair's too long," and bang, you'll go and get it cut, that kind of thing. Or they might say, "Oh, you don't suit pink," and you never wear pink the rest of your life and you get your whole wardrobe of pink and throw it in the dustbin. That's how sensitive we can become to just a comment. That's just an opinion but we don't see it as an opinion, we see it as the truth about ourselves because we're so open to it. And as a result of that too, the spirits who are around us can suggest things to us that are totally out of harmony with love and also totally wrong and yet we'll just take them on board. We'll just take them on board every time.

6.4. Addictions

Now because of all these strategies that we use - self-pity, self-punishment, spirit influence, external judgement, addictions and seeking confirmation, we then revert back to trying to have an addictive lifestyle. So what we do is we have all of these terrible feelings that are going on that we're not willing to experience because we feel we're going to be overwhelmed by experience, and what we do instead is we focus on addictively trying to avoid such things. Of course the more we try to avoid it, usually you finish up attracting even more of it, and before we know it, we're living a whole lifestyle of addiction but we're still not really avoiding any of it - that's what often happens for a person who has a lot of fear.

6.5. Placing love, truth, humility, faith and will above fear

All of this is occurring for only a few reasons: because we are unwilling to do a number of things inside of ourselves. We are unwilling to put fear down a peg and place these qualities that we say we want to develop love, truth, humility, faith and will above the fear.

In other words internally we're not willing to use our will, we're not desiring even to use our will, to place what we believe are character traits, which are of extreme importance for our future life, and we're not willing to place them as a list in a priority list order, above the importance of dealing with our fear or trying to prevent our fear. We have what I would classify as a concept of character, we are choosing to base all of our character on fear rather than to have all of these character traits, love, truth, humility, faith and will, and make fear submissive to these particular things. [00:23:39.19]

So at the moment you could say that your fear has placed itself on the top of this list and love, truth, humility, faith and will have become submissive to fear. What we need to do internally is to place all of these things above our fear and put fear on the bottom of this list.

Now the question then becomes, how do I do that? That's what's got to happen, how do I do that? Does anybody have any ideas of how you would do that? How do you go ahead and do that?

**Participant** : Can we just do everything opposite to what fear tells us to do?

That's one way. One way is to do everything the opposite to what the fear tells us to do. Now when I had a discussion with a group in 2008 that was my suggestion. It was a discussion about "The Human Soul - Fear is Your Friend" and in that discussion I made the one single suggestion, that's probably the most important suggestion about fear, and that is do everything the opposite to what your fear tells you to do. Everything. That requires a very strong will to do that, yes I agree, but if you choose to do that, that one choice will change your entire life, very, very rapidly by the way.

The second thing also needs to be engaged. What do you think the second thing is? Once you choose to do everything the opposite of what your fear says there's one other thing that you're going to need in order for progression to occur, and what's that? To feel the fear rather than avoid it. So there are only two things we really need to do in order to address fear.

By the way you can address fear without God at all. There are plenty of people historically in the spirit world who have done this. They've let go of most of their fears without having any relationship with God, so it's possible to do this without any relationship with God. With a relationship with God it's much, much easier of course because you always remember this relationship, you always remember where you're working towards and as you release fears, you'll feel a closer relationship with God. So that will give you faith that it's all working whereas a person without that doesn't get that. Without the desire for God, you don't get that. So without God you can do this or with God it will be much easier.

So you do two things - you do everything the fear tells you not to do, and you do nothing that the fear tells you to do. That's what you choose. Nothing the fear tells you to do, everything that fear tells you not to do, that's if you're aware of the fear. Now when we begin many of us are not aware of all of our fears, so we can only do it with a few things, but eventually your awareness of fear grows through this process and you realise, oh I'm afraid of that as well, oh I'm afraid of that as well and so you put that thing on the do not do list or never do list, and you honour love, truth, humility, faith and will instead. But for this to work you must choose to feel your fear as an emotion, you must choose to do it. Because the reality is if you don't choose to do it all that will happen is your fear will heighten and nothing will be released. And what do you think life's going to feel like after that? That's a pretty scary life because nothing changes. Your fear has been heightened, but you haven't chosen to change anything.

So the second thing, which is one of the primary things we need to learn, is be humble to the experience of the emotion of fear. So once we do those two things, you'll find your entire life will change very, very rapidly. That's all I chose to do, I made a list - and this is why I've encouraged you to make a fear list. I made a list of all of the fears I was aware of at the time. Now even right now I've got fears that I'm not aware of, because if I didn't have them I'd already be at-one with God. So I know that I've got fears I'm not aware of, so one of the options is to start praying about what am I not aware of, because that's very important. But most of us have a long list of fears that we are aware of. So what I'd suggest is for you to write down that long list of fears you're aware of, and write down all the things you do as a result of wanting to make those fears go away or what addictions you have as a result that cause those fears to go away and choose to not do it anymore. Choose. [00:28:59.05]

**Participant** : So how I've gone about doing this is I've avoided all those things and I'll get up in the morning, and I'll feel fear and I'll go off and feel the fear, not doing any of that stuff, doing something that triggers me, it's just there and I do it.

So my suggestion is go now and do the things that you're afraid of doing and choose to feel your fear while you're doing them. Choose to feel your fear while you're doing them. If you find you can't feel your fear while you're doing them, imagine yourself doing them and already some fear will come up and you'll be able to feel that first and then eventually you'll get to the point where you'll be able to take an action where you can feel fear while you're doing it.

6.6. Problems with seeking advice from others who have not worked through the same issue themselves

**Mary** : I had a couple of questions, Alwyn. One was, you said you had some confidence doing this and something changed. Did you go back and discover what had changed, what event happened that made you change?

**Participant** : I was talking to someone who was working with me and they were talking about that I had to feel what was in my body and that sometimes I was using fear to not feel my fear in a way, to not get to stuff and it just somehow put me off kilter...

Can I ask who did that?

**Participant** : It was someone here and I don't want to...

Oh right, a therapist who you were going to see.

**Participant** : Yes.

Can I suggest to you whoever that was, and I don't mean to offend the person who it was, who is obviously here, but she has no idea. And I've probably already told her she has no idea.

**Participant** : It might have been my interpretation of it rather than them. It's not necessarily them.

Yes but you know what we find with most therapists? They have a deep desire to keep you away from your fear because one of the reasons why many therapists choose therapy is because they're afraid and they don't want to address it.

Now Peter came to me yesterday and had a chat with me about an issue that he was facing and he had got some advice from somebody else who has exactly the same problem in a larger degree than what Peter has, and that person gave him advice which at the time Peter accepted. And I said to Peter, "The person who advised you, he has the problem worse than you do." Now how can he who can't see his own problem, how can he accurately advise you what the problem is? He can't even see his own problem, so how can he advise you what your problem is? He's not going to advise you accurately on your problem. Now what we see a lot of therapists doing, is not accurately advising people about their problems. A lot of therapists want to lead the person down a certain path because they have spirits with them leading the person away from their emotions, not into them. They view that as a success and it's not success. [00:32:37.23]

**Participant** : I've had confidence in this person and they have helped me with stuff.

Of course. There are things they will be able to help you with but they'll only be the things that they themselves have personally dealt with to a degree. So any therapist you go to is going to be able to help you as long as they don't have the same problem. And the problem is that many of the therapists do have the same problem so they cannot help you with those particular things.

Now what I'm suggesting to you is that many therapists have a large degree of fear so they often do not help people with fear, and I find quite frequently do not. I've only ever had one therapist who helped me with fear and do you know what, the three or four months that I went to him, he never said a word to me. He'd just say, "Get on the table," I'd get on the table, two hours later, "Get off the table." And he never spoke any other time. He never suggested anything to me, he never made any suggestions, he never did anything. And you know what I felt from that? He had an intention for me to go through whatever came up.

**Mary** : When you're receiving therapy - you can't push through the layer you're at; you have to feel the layer that you're at. So if someone is advising you to push through what you're doing rather than experience what you're doing, it can't help. That resistance can't leave your soul unless you feel it.

So the reason why Corny started the healing group thing was because a lot of the ideas about therapy that are on the planet today don't help people, that's why people go back to them over and over again for years and years and years. They don't actually help - many of them don't. The only way a person can truly help you on an issue with fear is if they've dealt with all of their fear. And how many people on the planet have done that? Zero and that includes myself. Zero.

So I am not going to be able to help other people in certain areas. Now of course I've dealt with lots of my fear and the stuff that's left, a lot of it is about my identity, about being Jesus and my memories about what I used to do in the spirit world. You don't have all of those things to deal with so there's a high likelihood that I'll be able to help you with most of your fears. But I can't help you with everything because I haven't dealt with everything. And that applies to everyone. The only person who can help you with everything is God. And the only thing you can do is to trust that process with God, trust that process with God.

6.7. Working through issues by examining what occurred when the issue started

**Mary** : If I can just explain why I asked you that question, it was very good what we talked about in terms of therapy but it's something that you can do to help yourself. If you felt that you were in a place, and this goes for everyone, where you were feeling more humble, you felt like you were accepting more truth about yourself, you were using your will, you had faith, so you were feeling more positive, even though you felt afraid, you were feeling positive, and then something happens and suddenly you're in this place of self-pity, self-punishment, spirit influence, external judgement, addictions, seeking confirmation, where everything feels terrible and you're down on yourself and you've got no faith anymore, go back to what happened.

And what you felt at that time.

**Mary** : What happened and what fear you avoided at the time because when you deal with that, that same trigger can never send you into this downward spiral again.

Can I just also say, Alwyn, I feel like, similar to Avarna, you've made steps that other people here have not yet made and that is that you are very self-aware when it comes to your fear and aware of the ways that you avoid it. A lot of people, just like I was five years ago, are like, "I'm not afraid." A lot of people still feel that even though they might intellectually say, "Yeah, yeah, I've got fear." I can feel that you know it; you know it that you've got fear, so that's a good thing; it's a step in the right direction.

So stop seeing it as a step in the wrong direction. It's very, very good that you're now aware of a lot of things that you weren't aware of before. And while you've been aware of your fear prior to meeting us, you probably haven't been aware of all the ways you've used to avoid it, or all the ways you've used to control it, or all the ways you've used to have a happy life and while it's inside of you. Now you are. So this is very good. [00:37:43.22]

**Mary** : And you're also learning a very valuable lesson about what happens when you avoid a fear. It opens you up to a whole lot of negative things and if you can retrace your steps emotionally to that point where everything started to go pear shaped... and I'll often say that to people, what happened in the relationship where suddenly things went from feeling like they were progressing to now they feel like everything's stagnant and we feel terrible or in your own progress? Whatever it is, go back and find what is the thing that I skipped. There is always a thing that you skipped and dealing with that will not only ensure that that same trigger doesn't lead you to self-pity, self-punishment, spirit influence, external judgement, addictions, seeking confirmation and so forth, it'll help you in a lot of other situations.

7. An example of a participant who had a relationship with an over-cloaked woman

Let's go for a guy this time, we've had a lot of girls.

**Participant** : Sometimes I feel both but I am a guy.

You feel that you're a girl? (Laughs) Is that what you're saying?

**Participant** : A lot of those questions from the ladies relate to me.

They do, many of the men in the audience are completely detuned from all of their fears however their fears are often very different to a woman's fears.

**Participant** : Yeah, which comes to my question. Some time ago I experienced a relationship with a person, which we would call a walk in. She thought she was an ET. And my question is, I had a relationship with this person and I want to know what the causal emotions are for me because I look at her as an effect in my life. I basically had enough of relationships at this time in my life and I went celibate ...

And you almost decided you weren't going to have any more relationships for the rest of your life?

**Participant** : Yeah, my best mate thought I was gay and suggested I go down that track. And no I just can't do that, I knew I was heterosexual. So I did some ceremonies and did the natural love praying that I only wanted my soulmate, and many, many months later this lady turned up.

Whom you thought was your soulmate at the time?

**Participant** : Well she thought I was her soulmate.

So she used the right terminology and everything.

**Participant** : Yeah interesting, AJ. I didn't find her physically attractive but I found there was something in her that drew me closer to her.

Of course.

**Participant** : And we ended up entering a physical relationship later on as well. This is the key point; she was the most developed person in love that I've ever met in my entire life, in twenty-seven years of trying to find out what this is about, being on the planet. The only person who I've ever met in my entire life who's more developed in love that she is is you. I believe in hindsight that she's helped me find Divine Truth, find you I guess. Out of all the people that she could channel and communicate with in her journal writing, which was thousands of pages, she talked about you, Jesus, more than anyone else. But she was in communication with some pretty out there beings from the Arcturian realms.

So she believed she was an ET.

**Participant** : At the beginning of our relationship, yeah. And then she told me some things about Chris, who is the person who came to Earth through the normal channel. She was incarnated and Chris gave her permission for her to take over her body. So when I met her she was Eyeshe.

**Mary** : So who is Chris?

So her first name was Chris?

**Participant** : Chris was the female girl.

That's her, that's how she was born. And then there was this Eyeshe. So Chris gave her permission to enter, is that what you're saying?

**Participant** : Yeah the way she worded it was through the Christ Consciousness grid system, Chris gave her permission to enter her body because Chris didn't want to be here anymore. When I met her she was all Eyeshe, I didn't know anything about Chris. And it was six years after the transference happened when I met her.

And did you ever find out during your relationship anything to do with Chris? [00:42:58.19]

**Participant** : Yes through the ex-husband and the daughter I found out a little bit.

So nothing from her?

**Participant** : Oh yes she was quite open to talking about Chris's life.

Okay, gotcha.

A participant had a relationship with a woman named Chris, who was over-cloaked by a spirit called Eyeshe, and who believed she was an extra-terrestrial

So what's the question?

**Participant** : I'm trying to keep it short but it's a whopper. It's a whopper burger, you know. (Laughter)

Well it's already a whopper experience so I get that.

**Participant** : I can't get my mouth around it. The question is she wasn't afraid. Like you display so much of a lack of fear, and that really what rocked my world, how she could present herself in public and do and say and stand up for everything she said. She didn't believe that she'd been here before and I felt that she'd maybe died as a baby.

Yeah, actually as a miscarriage.

**Participant** : Yes. So my question is what was in my soul that attracted this woman in my life? In my prayers, I was asking, on the New Age path I would like to experience the highest divinity of the feminine aspect being.

Well you got that didn't you? (Laughter)

**Participant** : I felt like, it was a rollercoaster. I did get that definitely. I don't know where she is now, obviously we are not together. That was a long time ago.

The reality is that there are some terrible things happening with her and her life and with Chris of course. And the fact is that 'Eyeshe' is not as loving as what you believe her to be. The reality is that she fed most of your addictions. And in doing so made you feel like she was the most loving female that you'd ever met. And this is one of the reasons why you attracted her. You attracted a spirit, Eyeshe, who was willing to over-cloak a person on Earth, Chris. Chris of course was willing to engage the process because Chris didn't want to live on Earth anyway, so this person who was actually Chris absconded; she left herself to the extent that she allowed this Eyeshe to over-cloak her. Now this is because Chris didn't want to feel a lot of emotions, she didn't want to feel a lot of her life, a lot of the experiences that she was having, she didn't want to feel almost everything about her life. As a result she didn't want to be even in her own body and this allowed her to allow this spirit, Eyeshe, to over-cloak her to such an extent. [00:45:53.19]

By the way I wouldn't say that this spirit is loving. The spirit is a spirit who is willing to over-cloak another person. She gained permission, that is true. When I say gained permission, Chris did not want to live in her own body, so that automatically means the spirit felt she had permission to take over the use of the body. But a spirit in a good space of love would never choose to do such a thing.

**Mary** : They would want to help the person know why they don't want to live in their body.

That's right. So they'd never choose to do such a thing. So Eyeshe is not in a good space of love. However she would have heard your prayer, and she was perfectly happy to support every one of your addictions which would of made you feel pretty good in that moment. And even though you weren't physically attracted, eventually you entered a sexual relationship based on all the other things that you felt.

7.1. Addictions in the participant that were met by the spirit

This is where your issues get highlighted here. So your issues are what was she doing that made you feel she was the highest of the female divinity that you've ever met. What did she do to make you feel that way? Do you remember?

**Participant** : She made me feel special. She believed that I was very open as a man; I was quite open to learning new truths.

So she honoured your character. Okay. What did she do?

**Participant** : She believed that I was grounding her because she hadn't experienced an Earth-bound body before and that by using the Kundalini experience and the sexual practice that I was grounding her. In exchange she was teaching me unconditional love.

Whoa.

**Participant** : I know it's out there, I'm just telling you the beginning of the relationship.

No, it's not out there. Just hear what you said. It's not that it's out there. This is exactly what was happening. However can you see her version of unconditional love was a bartering system with you. [00:48:32.06]

**Mary** : Because you had to give her something. She was saying, "You're doing this for me, Alan, so I'm going to do that for you." That's barter, isn't it?

That's not unconditional love.

**Participant** : Yeah when I look back at it, through the process she didn't feel that I was her soulmate and I felt the same but I didn't know what the journey was about.

And you'd been fed a whole heap of natural love stuff and whole heap of New Age things and who knows after all of that what you believe, a lot of times. So you just go along with the experience a lot of the times.

**Participant** : Yeah. There are many things I could say but it's ...

Yeah so what else did you feel? So you felt you were doing her a service? I don't mean that in a rude way, like a sexual service, you felt you were doing her a favour?

**Mary** : Or even more than that she was saying to Alan, "You're special; you are doing these amazing things."

**Participant** : Oh she never actually said it in words, no. I just felt because a prayer had been answered that I felt special feelings about me.

You were doing the woman a favour basically. That's what she was telling you.

**Mary** : But implicit in that was also the fact that she was in a higher condition than you and you accepted that.

You accepted that she was in a higher condition than you.

**Participant** : By how she displayed herself with other people.

**Mary** : Didn't she say to you, I'm actually giving you the gift of unconditional love?

**Participant** : Yeah, later on in the relationship she wanted to know why we came together, she felt that it was always a purpose and that's what she felt it was. She didn't feel she was actually here to serve people, she felt she was here to serve mother Earth.

**Mary** : I suppose in everything that you're saying that you and she accepted that she was in a higher condition of love than you.

**Participant** : Oh definitely, yes.

**Mary** : So that's part of what's going on in this relationship.

You thought and felt that the woman was better than you.

**Participant** : Yes more evolved in knowledge and love yeah.

I don't feel that she led you to Divine Truth, by the way. I must say that. However there were a lot of things happening here that were about your addictions and a co-dependency based on addictions which you have since also engaged with other relationships. The same kind of things, actually. So this is telling you the feelings that you have that you don't want to feel. The fact is that you want to feel special from a woman, but you don't. The fact is that you want a woman to honour your character but you don't feel they do, you don't feel most women do that. You feel that you're a good man doing the woman a service of some kind, a favour. You think that's a good thing.

**Mary** : That you have a special role.

You need to do that.

**Participant** : An exchange of some kind.

You need to do that and you also have this thought quite frequently that any person that you choose to be with is in a better condition than you are. And as a result, you're quite easily led by women. A woman can tell you something and you feel like you have to consider it. If a man tells you something you go, maybe, maybe not. If a woman tells you something, you go it's probably true before you even analyse what's being said. [00:52:08.15]

**Participant** : Yeah, I get that.

**Mary** : I can see one other common factor. Being chosen.

Yep, being chosen.

**Mary** : You're not choosing, someone's choosing you.

This is also a common factor in your relationships even now, other people choose you, you don't actually make the choice.

**Participant** : Yes definitely.

So if you have a look at all of these things, this tells you the list of unfelt emotions that you actually have that cause this attraction, which I don't actually feel has been beneficial for her or you, it just fed your addictions and fed hers. It fed the spirit's addictions and it fed yours. It even fed Chris's addictions even though Chris wasn't even aware so much of what was going on because all of her addictions are getting fed by the Eyeshe spirit. So the whole thing was all about feeding addictions. And in fact most New Age practices are pretty much all about feeding addictions. [00:53:10.12]

**Participant** : Yeah I'm more aware of that now because of your teachings.

So when we look at all of what's going on, the key for you now is to examine the similarities between this and every other relationship you've ever been in because in the end it is a relationship, even though it was with a spirit who was taking over somebody's body, it's still a relationship. It's very similar to every other relationship you've been in. You've wanted these addictions – feeling special, having the woman honour your character, doing the woman a favour, feeling the woman is more evolved and feeling chosen - and when you've not liked the relationship it's because you didn't feel one of these things. In fact the one reason why you wanted to have no relationships at all was because you didn't believe a woman was capable of feeling any of these things.

**Participant** : Yeah definitely.

So again if we look at it from this perspective, of love, truth, humility, faith and will. There is so much fear in you about these issues that you'd rather have the addiction met than have the fear exposed and you're even willing to do it with a person whom you're not sexually attracted to. So it is very interesting how strong these addictions must be to actually overcome the lack of sexual attraction. They're so strong in you that they overcome the lack of sexual attraction and you actually engage sexually even though there is a lack of sexual attraction. That's how strong these addictions are.

**Participant** : And pandering to the female. I'll get an addiction met here if I pander to them.

**Mary** : Can I just also before you go into this - point out Alan, that you haven't yet even realised that there an addiction. There are still elements inside of you of this relationship that you feel are good and loving and should be a part of a loving relationship. If you want to grow towards God and heal yourself in love and actually have your soulmate relationship be really beautiful, it's going to require examining each of these addictions and saying, "Is that really loving or is that something that I'm avoiding in this interaction in this emotional exchange?"

So if you look at some of these addiction, for example about being chosen, it's about you not wanting to have to make the choice yourself. It's about having a lack of personal responsibility when it comes to relationships. So with every single one of these addictions, feeling special, honoured, doing the woman a favour, feeling I felt woman more evolved, being chosen, something is going on inside of yourself where you want an addiction met, and this spirit is seeing all of these addictions. Remember a spirit can see all of the colours of every addiction and they know exactly what these addictions mean. All they have to do is feed every one of those addictions and you'll feel like you're the most loved person on the planet. [00:56:01.15]

**Participant** : And I did at the time. I feel I've manufactured most of them because of the lack of love that I had in my childhood from my mother.

I agree. And this is all about stuff that you didn't feel when you were a child.

**Participant** : Yeah that's right.

But as Mary pointed out to you just now, and I don't think you really truly have got it, you still believe all of these addictions are good. You still want them all. And each relationship you've engaged since, you engaged at the beginning because you thought you had each of those things and then after a while you've realised, oh maybe I haven't. But each time you've always sought these particular things and in fact these things prevent you from identifying your soulmate.

**Participant** : And I feel they take me away from my true self.

They do, greatly, yes. Of course.

**Participant** : I'm just becoming more aware of that now.

7.2. Tying in the five basics required for progression towards God with the addictions driving the relationship

So if we look at using again the exercise of your will here, see if I had faith that I needed to deal with my emotions and find my emotions, and I had the humility to do so, can you see that whenever you felt special with a woman you'd go, "Oh this is interesting because this is one of my addictions." And you wouldn't want to meet this addiction anymore, you'd go, "There's something wrong here, I'm feeling attractive because she's making me feel special. It's not necessarily because I'm sexually attracted to her and I'm attracted to her other qualities and other attributes, it's basically because she's making me feel something that I desperately need to feel and I don't feel able to feel without her in fact."

This is where it's imperative that you're truthful with yourself, and I don't feel you are being truthful with yourself even now. As Mary's pointed out, you're aware that this is what's happened but you're not truthful with yourself about the actual addictions that have driven it. You still see many of these things as good things. You still see many of these as things that you're seeking for in a relationship, not being aware that these are actually telling you what your addictions are all about. You're willing to engage in a relationship with a person who might not even be there and has been over-cloaked in order to have many of these things met.

So what happens in this case is the spirit notices you with all of these injuries, and she goes, okay, it's going to be really easy to have a relationship with this guy. All I've got to do is make him feel special, honour his character, show him how he's doing me a favour and honour that, honour the favour that's happening and all I've got to suggest to him is his perhaps not quite as evolved as myself and that's why he doesn't really know what his attractions are, and also make him feel like he's been chosen by me for a certain purpose and that's going to make him feel really good about himself, something that he wouldn't normally feel. And if I'm a woman spirit and I do all that for you, you'll fall over backwards; you'll even spread your legs as the saying goes, from a female perspective. You'll even go to bed with them as a result.

**Participant** : Yeah, that lack of love sells the soul out pretty short.

Exactly. And this is indicating to you actually that there is a lack of self-love, a deep lack of self-love inside of yourself. That's the main reason. And instead of being humble to this feeling inside of yourself you're using your will to engage relationships in order to have the other person fulfil the lack of self-love.

**Participant** : And has this damaged my soul more? Exercising down that path?

Of course. Now when you say damage your soul more, of course most of the damage has occurred when you were in your childhood years, when all of this damage entered you, now you're making choices and decisions based upon it. And the choices and decisions you're making based upon it are just acting out the damage that's already there. My suggestion is to stop acting out the damage that is already there and now start repairing the damage, which will take you having a lot more strength of character in this regard than you've had before.

But it's a very interesting example that you brought up because you can see how spirits can interfere with the entire process so much just to feed our addictions - we often see that happening.

**Mary** : It's also really interesting I feel for a lot of us. Remember earlier I was saying to Karen how I used to believe the absence of fear was me feeling loved and happy, and I realise now that wasn't real at all, that was just me avoiding some stuff and I felt a bit relaxed and relieved. And as I pointed out to you Alan, a lot of these things you still have a feeling inside when you get them, "Oh I'm being loved."

**Participant** : I was getting a good feeling from it, yeah.

**Mary** : And this is where I feel us becoming more self-aware, eventually we begin to feel when an addiction is being met, eeww, that feels a bit icky.

It doesn't feel like love anymore.

**Mary** : But for a long time in our life it can feel like love and it requires self-reflection and really becoming more sensitive to ourselves to start to discern, "Am I getting something met here or is this actually feeling unconditional?" So it's good for all of us to recognise that maybe we don't actually know what love is yet.

**Participant** : Definitely, yeah.

7.3. Issues of self-love make us suggestible to poor advice

When we have issues of self-love too, if I can point this out, issues of self-love cause us to believe that other people are of greater development than they actually are. So we then become very susceptible to being influenced by other people when we believe ourselves to lack development in self-love and we believe other people to be better developed in love. The problem with that is we become very suggestible. In other words a person only has to make a suggestion to us and before we know it, we're doing what they've suggested. Even if it's out of harmony with these particular qualities of love, truth, humility, faith and will, we still go ahead and do it. [01:02:40.01]

7.4. Problems with seeking advice from others who have not worked through the same issue themselves (continued)

**Mary** : Can I say that, Alwyn, really that this is something that happened to you; someone suggested something to you and it sent you into this self-doubt and allowed a lot of self-punishment to come in.

Which is an indication of how suggestible you are.

**Mary** : Yeah, I was speaking to someone else yesterday and they had the same situation. They felt they were growing in something, they felt they were making more actions in harmony with truth and less addiction and they got feedback from someone to say that they were horribly in addiction. And I said well who gave you this advice, do you see them reflecting in their life qualities that you would like to have? If they're giving you advice about a relationship, are they even in a relationship and if they are, is it a happy one? Because if they're not, it's not really even logical is it? It's sort of like asking a kid in the first year of school to teach me handwriting. You know, he's just learning himself. We could get together and maybe experiment together but if I start taking all my cues from him and he's still learning how to form an A, my A's are going to start to look a bit shonky themselves. My A's do look a bit shonky... (Laughs)

English is not our first language. (Laughter) We don't have a third language either which is a problem. Mary does, but I don't.

**Mary** : I'm not very good in them either. So what was I saying? Just about being open to the suggestion of people who maybe don't have our best interests at heart because they're trying to get an addiction met through the exchange.

Oftentimes too they don't know they don't have our best interests at heart, so look at their life. If a person who's advising you of how to stay together in your marriage, or work through marital issues and the person is not in a relationship themselves that's happy, then how can they advise you to work through issues? It's obvious their attraction is showing them that they're either not in a relationship or they're not in a relationship that's happy, so they really are not capable of giving you appropriate advice, ever, actually, until they go through the process of having a relationship themselves and working through the issues that cause it to not be happy. Until it becomes a happy relationship or if you notice they're in an addictive relationship, feeding each other's addictions, and they're giving you advice, all they can really do is give you advice of how to meet each other's addictions. That's all they can do. They can't do anything else for you. So be very careful about accepting advice aside from the advice the Law of Attraction is bringing you.

7.4.1. Receiving truth from God through God's Laws

Remember the Law of Attraction is God's Law, the Law of Cause and Effect is God's Law, and these laws are giving you the right advice. A person coming along and speaking to you may be giving you the right advice or may be in error, depending on what they themselves have dealt with in their life. Depending on their personal situation and depending on what growth they have made, they may be able to give you advice but this is where it's difficult on Earth compared to the spirit world because in the spirit world you see the brightness of the individual giving you the advice. Therefore you'll be able to go, "Okay, I'm pretty dark and he's pretty bright so it's probably worth listening to him." But here on Earth because we can't feel love as God transmits it, in other words we don't feel God's Love, we have an addictive relationship with love. In other words we believe, as you pointed out Alan, that certain things are love when they're actually not. All of us on Earth who have this problem - we believe that certain things are love when it's not. So then we assume as a result of that that the person is more loving when they're not. [01:06:34.23]

The only person who we could really compare that with is God at the end of the day. What would God do in our situation? Then once we know that comparison or understand that comparison, we'll be able to determine who is as loving or who's bright. If we can feel God's Love and feel the person at the same time, then it's highly likely we'll have a fairly accurate viewpoint of the individual. But if we're not feeling God's Love at the same time we're feeling a person then it's highly unlikely that our interpretation of what we're feeling from a person is accurate. And this is the main problem that many of us have. So what we would suggest is, focus first on this relationship with God, focus first on attempting to at least try to feel God, feel Love from God, feel what it's flavour is, what it feels like and then when you feel that kind of love from another person on Earth then you can be a bit more open to the advice they give you.

However if all you feel is an addictive type of a love, where they're feeding all of your emotions and feeding all of your addictions and you think you're happy and they're happy and everything is going great, but obviously it doesn't feel real and all those kind of things, and you can't feel God when you're in that relationship, if that's the case then I'd be very suspicious of believing that it's love and I would also be very suspicious of the advice the person gives you because the advice they're giving you is going to be based on their perception, not the truth.

If the person, through their personal example, is not demonstrating in their personal life that they have made changes in these particular areas that you're looking to make changes, then why would you gain their advice? It doesn't make any sense because they need advice from someone else on the subject as much as you do, or even perhaps more than you do.

Our suggestion there would be again, go back to God and look at the people around you who actually have a developed relationship that you want to have. A developed relationship with God that you would like to have. A developed relationship with their partner that you would like to have. A developed relationship with their friends, with family, with people in general with the way in which they treat people all over the world. Look at a person like that and then say, well that's the kind of person I can receive advice from if I want to become like that. That's our suggestion.

8. Closing words

Well it's time for us to finish. So hopefully you've enjoyed that little session of answering a lot of your questions. It's hopefully helped a bit with understanding how these things – love, truth, humility, faith and will - can be put into practice in practical situations. And probably what we'll be doing is talking more about those particular things. When we do have question and answer sessions in the future, a lot of our focus is going to be pulling people back to these basic qualities that need to be developed and then looking at what are the primary blockages to developing these qualities in practical situations. The majority of the time you're going to find we'll be speaking about fear. So if you didn't get a lot of the things about today's discussion in terms of your personal life then I'm sure there'll be many more questions asked by different groups that will be able to help you do that.

**Mary** : Thanks for your time everyone. (Applause)

Thanks for your donations again guys and also I don't know when we will see all of you next, so we'd like to wish you well with this – love, truth, humility, faith and will in the development of your character if we can do that. Thanks guys. (Applause)

