Jack: Alright.
Micheal: I don't think so.
Micheal: I think we're gonna get, like, two levels in.
Ray: We're gonna speedrun it.
Micheal: I think we're gonna get, like, two levels in.
Jack: When do we start playing this game?
Ray: There's people-
Micheal: Right now, bitch! Look at this!
Jack: Oh, there we go!
Geoff: Christ Almighty!
Jack: Acorn!
Ray: Acorn Plains A.P. motherfucker!
Jack: Acorn!
Ray: Acorn Plains A.P. motherfucker!
[Jack laughing]
Ray: Oh! LLLLLLLLLLLLETS PLAY Super Mario Brothers... New, U!
[Gavin laughs]
Ray: Oh! LLLLLLLLLLLLETS PLAY Super Mario Brothers... New, U!
[Gavin laughs]
Ray: Let's do it! 
Gavin: Go!
Micheal: Super Mario Brothers New U!
[Ray loudly sings Super Mario Brothers theme]
Jack: Oh, Look how high I am!
Micheal: Geoff's already fucking us with the blocks.
Oh, look! There's secret stuff! Secret stuff!
Jack: Oh, Look how high I am!
Ray: Oh! I want that acorn! 
Gavin: Oh! there's mushrooms!
Ray: Give me that acorn!
Micheal: Jesus Christ. Ray!
Ray: Oh! I want that acorn! 
Gavin: Oh! there's mushrooms!
Geoff: Oh, I can hit the bad guys.
Jack: Hey, look, someone throw me up here!
Ray: Oh, want these coins!
Ray: Look at me! I'm flying!
Ray: Oh, want these coins!
Ray: Fuck!
Micheal: Get over here! Stop fucking around on the left!
Jack: I don't know.
Micheal: Get over here! Stop fucking around on the left!
Ray: Fuck!
Micheal: Get over here! Stop fucking around on the left!
Ray: Alright, let's go, let's go.
Jack: I'm going to jump-
Jack: Oh God!
Gavin: Oh! Geoff! That's it!
Jack: There you go.
Gavin: No! Geoff! Make a platform!
Ray: Alright, let's go, let's go.
Jack: Oh! shit! Mario!
[Laughter]
Jack: Ow! Friggin' Luigi! Oh! Now I'm up here!
Ray: Oh! More acorns!
Micheal: We have to run ahead of Geoff to escape his wrath.
Micheal: Goddammit, Geoff!
Gavin: Ohhh! Squirrel Suit! Whoooo! Gliding!
[Laughter]
Jack: Ow! Friggin' Luigi! Oh! Now I'm up here!
Geoff: You guys are doing great.
Micheal: How do I - What the hell? Oh, Fuck!
Ray: Oh! More acorns!
Micheal: We have to run ahead of Geoff to escape his wrath.
Micheal: We have to run ahead of Geoff to escape his wrath.
[Micheal laughs]
Gavin: Ohhh! Squirrel Suit! Whoooo! Gliding!
Micheal: How do I...?
Ray: Almost got it! Oh- Geoff!
[Geoff laughing]
Jack: Stop moving forward! 
Ray: You asshole.
Micheal: There's fucking mushrooms everywhere. 
Geoff: I'm helping you guys get there.
[Micheal laughs]
[Micheal laughing]
Jack: Oh, c'mere, c'mere, I'll help you get the coin.
Ray: Almost got it! Oh- Geoff!
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: Geoff, you're blocking...ah... 
Jack: I got a mushroom!
Ray: Dude, I'm on top of the world!
Geoff: No, I'm not. I'm helping you.
Ray: When do we get-
Gavin: BEANSTALK!!
Gavin: [Singing] A whole new world....
Ray: Oh shit! Coin City!! 
Micheal: My dicks are getting huge!
Ray: Dude, I'm fine.
Jack: I got a mushroom!
Ray: Geoff, you're blocking...ah... 
Jack: I got a mushroom!
Ray: ...Geoff, you're blocking the path.
Micheal: Holy fucking shit.
Ray: Dude, I'm on top of the world!
Geoff: No, I'm not. I'm helping you.
Jack: Geoff? Ok, Geoff? You gotta...
Micheal: Oh, fuck, get the mushroom!
Gavin: [Singing] A whole new world....
Jack: Woah!!
Gavin: Secret! 
Geoff: Oh, fuck!
Gavin: Where's the Portal Gun?
[Ray singing Super Mario Brothers Underground Theme]
Jack: Down! Wheee! Oh.
Jack: There we go.
[Ray singing Super Mario Brothers Underground Theme]
Jack: Someone got an extra life!
Micheal: How do I use the fucking Glider Suit?
Jack: Ahh, ha-ha!
Micheal: Oh, no! Oh, Don't leave me behind!
Jack: Woah!!
Gavin: Secret! 
Geoff: Oh, fuck!
[Geoff evilly laughs]
Gavin: Whoo-hoo!
Jack: Ah! I'm getting stuck!
Jack: There's a thing in my way!
Jack: There we go.
[Ray singing Super Mario Brothers Underground Theme]
[Micheal laughs]
Ray: Checkpoint!
Jack: Ahh, ha-ha!
Ray: Sliiiide!!
Micheal: I'm fucking flying, bitches! Whoo!
Jack: Shit! Godda- Ah! I'm stuck!
[Jack laughs]
Gavin: Whoo-hoo!
Jack: Ah! I'm getting stuck!
Micheal: Fuck you, fucker!
Jack: Ah! No! Awww, I got killed.
Micheal: I am getting- Ah! Fuck! 
Ray: I think it's a portal.
Geoff: Oh, watch out for those squirrels, guys.
Ray: Oh shit!
Ray: You gotta keep up.
Micheal: We just murdered Jack!
Jack: You just murdered my ass.
Geoff: No, no, no, it's good.
Micheal: [Sarcastic] Geoff, you are so helpful. 
Jack: Seven!
Ray: Oh! There he is!
Jack: Oh, there I am!
Geoff: Guys, I'm just happy to help. 
Ray: Oh! 1up!
Micheal: I am getting- Ah! Fuck! 
Ray: I think it's a portal.
Geoff: Oh, watch out for those squirrels, guys.
Ray: Oh shit!
Ray: Get the coins!
Jack: Coins!
Geoff: Here, I'll knock it out of the way.
Ray: We have to defend ourselves somehow. 
Micheal: Because we have to because he's trying to murder us!
Micheal: [Sarcastic] Geoff, you are so helpful. 
Jack: Seven!
Gavin: I'm holding onto the block!
Ray: Oh, shit! What happened there? Do we get 1ups?
Jack: I had an acorn. 
Micheal: Oh, shit!
Geoff: Now no... uhh...
Gavin: Oh!
Ray: Fuck! I can't even reach!
Geoff: ...Fuckin' plants can come out.
Micheal: I like how we can hit Geoff's blocks and break 'em.
Ray: Yeah.
Gavin: Whoo-hoo.
Ray: Yeah.
Micheal: Oh shit!
Micheal: Because we have to because he's trying to murder us!
Micheal: Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Jack: [Singing] shake, shake, shake, Senora. 
Ray: [Singing] Can you take me higher?
Jack: Oh! I think I can-
Micheal: Dude, I'm fuckin' havin' a fit!
Gavin: Ahhhhhh...
Gavin: ...Hooouugghhhhhss!
Geoff: Now no... uhh...
Gavin: Oh!
Ray: Fuck! I can't even reach!
Geoff: ...Fuckin' plants can come out.
Gavin: Oh! Dude, you can jump-
Micheal: Agh! You jumped on my head!
[Geoff laughs]
Ray: Yeah.
Micheal: Oh shit!
Geoff: This is fun! 
Micheal: That was ace, wasn't it? look at all that-
Jack: [Singing] shake, shake, shake, Senora. 
Ray: [Singing] Can you take me higher?
Micheal: Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Jack: [Singing] shake, shake, shake, Senora. 
Ray: [Singing] Can you take me higher?
Jack: Ohh! Ga! Goddammit, Geoff
Jack: Do you? 
Gavin: Geoff,  howzit going on over there with all the blocks?
Gavin: Geoff,  howzit going on over there with all the blocks?
Ray: Don't block the-
Micheal: You suck!
Jack: There we go!
Micheal: You're not in the club, bitch. 
Ray: You gotta have it for the whole level, sir.
[Geoff laughs]
Ray: Who got a 1up?
Geoff: This is fun! 
Micheal: That was ace, wasn't it? look at all that-
Ray: That was awesome!
Jack: Look at all you guys. 
Micheal: Dude, we tossed that level like a dirty salad.
Geoff: I feel- I feel so helpful.
Jack: Do you? 
Gavin: Geoff,  howzit going on over there with all the blocks?
Ray: [Laughs] Yeah, you right.
[Jack laughs]
Ray: Jack, you don't have a Squirrel Suit.
Micheal: You suck!
Jack: Dude, I got a Squirrel Suit for about half a second and then immediately got hit.
Micheal: You're not in the club, bitch. 
Ray: You gotta have it for the whole level, sir.
[Droning singing]
Jack: Aaah! 
Ray: Oh! Flower! 
Gavin: Fire Flower!
Micheal: I'm excited.
Micheal: Flower power sucka!
Jack: Look at all you guys. 
Micheal: Dude, we tossed that level like a dirty salad.
Micheal: Dude, we tossed that level like a dirty salad.
Jack: You guys are all furries.
Gavin: I wanna Yoshi.
Ray: [Laughs] Yeah, you right.
[Jack laughs]
Gavin I wanna Yosh.
[Micheal and Geoff laugh]
Ray: Alright, let's do it.
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: Goddammit.
[Jack and Geoff laugh]
Jack: Aaah! 
Ray: Oh! Flower! 
Gavin: Fire Flower!
Ray: Oh. no! Aww.
[Gavin sings Super Mario Bros. Underground Theme]
Jack: Move!
Gavin: Nah, I don't want it.
Jack: I want it! Move! Move Luigi!
Gavin: Get out of the way!
Jack: Get out of my way!
Gavin: Get out of the way!
Jack: Gah!
[Micheal and Geoff laugh]
Jack: NOOOO!
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: Goddammit.
[Jack and Gavin laugh]
Ray: Ohh Shit.
Jack: Stupid Luigi.
[Gavin sings Super Mario Bros. Underground Theme]
Jack: I'm still just a normal-
Ray: More Flowers!
Gavin: Ohh!
Jack: Oh, Goddammit!
Gavin: Putting flowers everywhere!
Ray: Oh. Oh, wow, Ja- oh, fuck!
Gavin: Whoo-hoo!
Jack: Oh, there we go.
[Micheal laughs]
Ray: OHH FUCK!!
[Jack and Micheal laugh]
Ray: I was leading the way
Micheal: Wah-hah!
Gavin: Whoo-hoo!
Ray: Hold on, I'm scared.
Jack: Let's go below.
Ray: Geoff, get your fucking platforms outta here.
Micheal: Oh shit!
Gavin: Wrong way.
Jack: Ohh, Luigi! No! No! No! Ahhhh!!
Micheal: Where are you guys going!?
Gavin: Argh! I died!
[Micheal laughs]
Jack: Argh!
[Jack and Micheal laugh]
Ray: Oh Shit!
Micheal: Systematic murder.
Ray: Huh! Huh!
Micheal: Holy shit!
Micheal: Everything's coming down around us, Ray!
Ray: What's in here?
Ray:  Oh, it was a coin.
Micheal: Dude, this is like...
Jack: I want that thing up there!
Micheal: Dude, Geoff's trying to kill us!
Ray: Goddammit, Geoff!
Micheal: Geoff!!
Geoff: No, I'm helping.
Jack: Oh! I got it! Uh!
Micheal: It's like Tomb Raider
Micheal: I'm trying to escape.
Jack: There we go.
Ray: Goddammit.
[Micheal cackles]
Jack: Uh, Dammit!
Ray: Huh!
Jack: Move that, move that thing, Geoff!
Jack: NOOOO!!
Micheal: Fuck!
Geoff: I'll save you from-
Gavin: Geoff's trying to make me fall off the screen!
Gavin: Geoff! Stop Geoff!
Ray: Oh, I want that mushroom!
Ray: Ah, Fuck!
Ray: Geoff, no! Geoff!
[Micheal laughs]
Ray: UHH! AHHH!!
[Micheal cackles]
Ray: Goddammit!
Jack: Oh! Look at that, down there! What is it?
Gavin: Oh!! It's a moon!!
Ray: Oh! It's a moon!
Jack: What is that moon?
Ray: It's a New Moon!
Gavin: Get the moon!!
Gavin: I can't get the-
Gavin: WARRRGHHHHHHH!!!
Micheal: Fuck you, bitches!
Jack: Wheeee! Uh!
[Micheal laughs]
Gavin: Where did I go!?
Ray: Mario! Guide the way!
Ray: I got a mushroom, we're good.
Jack: Wait for me!
Ray: Oh, get that coin! Agh, Geoff!
Micheal: AHH!! Geoff, you killed me, you son of a bitch!
Jack: Oh shit! Ah!
Ray: Aghh! Geoff!
Ray: Ah! Saved it! Saved it!
Gavin: Ah!
Micheal: Dude, you can bounce off the walls?
Jack: Land it!
Gavin: AAAHHHHH!!
[Micheal laughs]
Ray: Goddammit!
[Geoff giggles]
Jack: Oh Goddammit! Move that stuff! Nooo!!
Micheal: All hell is breaking lose!
Ray: Okay, sure, take both of them.
Gavin: Oh! This is chaos!
Ray: Checkpoint!
Jack: Checkpoint!
Ray: Just keep going! Just keep going!
Gavin: Leg it!!
Jack: Run!!
Ray: Hold on, what's in here?
Gavin: Oh Shit!
Ray: Wait for it...
Jack: Oh Goddammit!
[Geoff giggles]
[Micheal laughs]
Ray: I want that flower!
Ray: Okay, sure, take both of them.
Micheal: I'm running the fuck outta here! I'm running the fuck outta here!
Gavin: Luigi's got two flowers, bitch!
Ray: I got a shell! Agh!!
Gavin: Ah!
Jack: Ahh!
Ray: Let me out!
Jack: I bounced on someone's head!
Ray: Oh shit! Sorry!
Jack: Oh! Oh, You hit me with the turtle shell!
Micheal: Oh shit! JESUS CHRIST!!
Ray: I may have killed Jack.
[Micheal laughs]
Gavin: AAAOOGHHH!!
Jack: Oh!
Micheal: Oh my God!
Gavin: The rock flipped!!
Jack: Where am I?
Jack: Oh, I'm up top, look at me!
Micheal: Geoff, you fucking piece of garbage.
Jack: Look at me up here! I'm all the way up top!
Ray: Jack's hacking.
Jack: Ay! Move it! Move it!
Jack: Dammit, Geoff!
Micheal: Get out of the way! That's my mushroom!
Gavin: Ohh! There's a mushroom in a bubble?
Micheal: Dammit, Gavin.
Ray: Where all the 1ups at?
Gavin: Woah!
Jack: Look at that! Look at all these flowers I have!
Gavin: He got all of them!
Ray: He got all of them?
Ray: Goddammit!
Jack: Hah!
[Gavin laughing]
Ray: Shit!
[Geoff laughing]
Gavin: Who decided to put everything at the top?
Gavin: HOOOURGH!! GEOFF!
Jack: I have all of the flowers.
Jack: Oh G- Oh, there we go.
Ray: Get the fucking-
Micheal: Go, man! God!
Ray: C'MON!!
Gavin: I'm in! I'm in, lads!
Ray: Got it!
Jack: Get in! Get in!
Geoff: Get up, guys, c'mon!
[Gavin laughing]
Micheal: Fuck me!
[Geoff laughing]
Gavin: I like the fact that you can see the circles where Geoff is pressing. He's going mental with it!
Jack: Oh Jesus Christ!
Gavin: Look at it!
Ray: Just get to the end!
Jack: Make it to the end!
Gavin: Guuhhhh!
Jack: Make it to the castle!
Ray: Goddammit Geoff!
Micheal: Ahh, fucking Christ.
Gavin: Whoo-hoo!
Jack: Yeah!
Ray: Wow!
Geoff: Good job, guys!
Micheal: Holy shit. Ohh, you get a 1up if you make it to the top?
Jack: Yeah, if you hit the top.
Geoff: Blowing through it.
Micheal: That's cray!
Ray: I was going for the top and my mouth got fucked.
Gavin: So who gets- why is the flag? Is it whoever gets there first?
Ray: Whoever gets- no, whoever gets the top.
Micheal: No, it's whoever grabs the top gets a 1up.
I grabbed the top and I-
Ray: This is fun as fuck!
Geoff: I really that we're- I really feel that it's a collaboration.
Gavin: I think it's whoever gets the flag first.
Jack: Is that what it was?
Geoff: Yeah.
Micheal:  Nah, I saw two of you get 1ups.
Jack: Is that what we're calling it?
Ray: It's whoever gets the top of the flag.
Geoff: Yeah, we're all really- we're in sync here. Helping each other out.
Gavin Yeah, well, I got top of the flag and I didn't get the flag, is what I'm saying!
Micheal: You get a 1up!
Ray: You got a 1up!
Micheal: You don't get a flag! Nobody get's a flag, Gavin!
Gavin: The flag went up!
Jack: I gotta flag! I gotta flag!
Micheal: Yeah, whoever grabs it first sends the flag up.
Gavin: Yeah, that's what I just said, Micheal!
Micheal: Who gives a shit, though? You get a 1up!
Gavin: I wanted it to be a Luigi flag!
Micheal: Too bad, it was a Mario flag, bitch.
Gavin: "It's-a me! Luigi! Ba-ba-boo-ba!"
Micheal: And it was a shitty one.
Jack: "It's-a Luigi!"
Micheal: "It was only 200 points!"
Jack: Right or up? Right or up? Right or up?
Ray: Uhhh, up.
Jack: Up? Up. Up.
Gavin: Let's go right!
Gavin: NOO! Let's get some supplies!
Micheal: That's a store.
Ray: No, look, there's a fucking castle here!
Gavin: No, let's get some supplies!
Ray: Crushing Cogs, man!
Micheal: Let's get some supplies.
Jack: Oh Jesus.
Ray: Alright, what's in here?
Jack: Alright, let's buy some stuff.
Gavin: This guy has coke.
Ray: Dude, is this where we're gonna get some 'shrooms?
Ray: I know a guy.
Gavin: This guy has got some crack.
Jack: Woah!
Micheal: Look out, is Kevin here?
Ray: Pick a block-
Gavin: Ohh, don't pick the Bowser!
Micheal: Don't do it.
Geoff: Use the WiiMote to play.
Ray: The middle one!
Ray: I mean, don't- not the middle one! Ah shit.
Gavin: Alright. Keep your eye on the middle one.
Gavin: Uh, it's not the middle one now.
Micheal: Now it's the left one.
Ray: Don't get the left one!
Jack: Left is bad!
Ray: Left is bad!
Micheal: We don't have to call it out the whole way!
Jack and Gavin: Ohhhhh!!
Gavin: Right!
Jack: Right is bad! Right is bad! Right is bad.
Micheal: It's easy peasy lemon squeezy.
Ray: The one on the left!
Gavin I'm gonna go for the middle!
Micheal: Yeah, go for both.
Jack: Right is bad.
Micheal: That isn't the one on the right.
Ray: Alright.
Jack: Gavin, don't hit right.
Gavin: Huh! Nailed it!!
Geoff: Nailed it! Good job, guys.
Ray: Did we win, or...?
Jack: I'm-a kill him! I'm-a kill him!
Micheal: Yeah, we did! See? Ok?
Ray: What did we get?
Jack: Woah!
Micheal: We fucking get that shit, I guess.
Ray: Alright.
Gavin: Check it out, guys!
Jack: We won. Look at us dancing!
Jack: Unce-unce-unce-unce!
Micheal: Dude, and you didn't want us to go here?
Micheal: Nice plan, Gavin!
Gavin: There's something creepy about big Toad.
[Gavin, Jack and Geoff laugh]
Ray: Uhh, I think we can use those items.
Micheal: Those items, man!
Jack: Ohhh! Look at that!
Ray: Ah, fuck that. That's for pussies.
Micheal: Hey Luigi! Fucking good call, bro!
[Ray sings Super Mario Brothers Underground Theme]
Ray: Alright, go to the real level.
Gavin: 1 to check items?
Ray: Let's do it!
Jack: Ok, going in.
Gavin: I want to check the damn items!
Micheal: Nah, you ain't checking shit.
Ray: Crushing Cogs! Gears of War: Judgement, here!
[Gavin, Jack and Geoff laugh]
Ray: Seriously. Who cares about that game?
Micheal: Is this a fucking tower?
Gavin: Uh-oh!
Ray: Tower of Pimps?
Micheal: Oh fuck, dude.
[Ray sings Super Mario Brothers Underground Theme]
Micheal: Is there a Boss Fight, here?
Micheal: Ow! My head is getting bashed in!
Jack: Ow! Oh, hey, let's get up high!
Ray: Oh, this is- we're off to a great start.
Micheal: Geoff is already out for blood.
Jack: Oh!
Ray: Oh! Hey!
Jack: Oh, Geoff! C'mon!
Gavin: Geoff-
Jack Oh, look! There's a thing up there!
Ray: Get the coin!
Ray: Hah! Hah!
Geoff: Hey, you guys wanna get up there?
Jack: What the hell!?
Gavin: Ohh!
Ray: I saw- oh shit! I want what's up there!
Geoff: Get the coin!
Micheal: Dry Bones, bitch!
Gavin: Oh! Ice Flower!!
Gavin: I'VE GOT IT!!
Ray: Hold on! Fucking, I can't get that-
Jack: C'mon! C'mon! Here! Mushroom! Mushroom jump off of me!
Geoff: Get the mushroom!
Gavin: Uh!
Ray: We're trying! Oh shit!
Micheal: What are you dickheads doing over there?
Gavin: [Laughs] Just now?
Ray: Huh! Got it!
Jack: Yeah! There we go!
Micheal: Nice, Ray!
Jack: Good job!
Geoff: There you go. You're welcome.
Gavin: I got a sweet Ice Flower, dude!
Ray: Thanks, Geoff!
[Jack laughs]
Gavin: Yeah, I got Ice Flower!
Ray: Where the fuck? What is that?
Jack: What is that?
Micheal: Just now.
Micheal: Or, I don't know.
Gavin: [Laughs] Just now?
Micheal: Yeah, that was it.
Gavin: As of today: New PowerUp!
Ray: New DLC.
Micheal: Gah, I'm gonna get fucking crushed!
Gavin: Did we just change the direction of that thing?
Micheal: Geoff, you son of a bitch!
Ray: Yeah, we did.
[Jack laughs]
Ray: Goddammit.
Geoff: I don't know-
Micheal: We're all just jumping on each other's heads!
Geoff: You're all just being rude.
[Micheal Groans]
Micheal: I'm getting crushed!
Ray: Alright, I'm on the cog.
[Geoff singing]
Geoff: I'm doing everything I possibly can to help you here.
Ray: Oh shit! What the fuck is that? I want it.
Jack: Alright.
Micheal: Arhp! Arhp!!
Micheal: Bup! Boop!!
Micheal: BAHP!!
Micheal: FUCK!! SHIT!!
Ray: Uh-oh, I'm dead! Uh-oh! Dammit, I'm dead.
Ray: OH!! I'm still alive!!
Gavin: Ah! I've got a skeleton!
[Micheal Groans]
Ray: How did I survive!?
Micheal: I got killed. Where am I?
[Geoff singing]
Jack: Alright, I'm on the far left.
Micheal: Oh! Now I'm dead. Now I'm dead.
[Jack and Ray laugh]
Micheal: I wasn't dead but now I'm dead.
Ray: Oh! You killed Dry Bones!
Jack: Oh! Ow!
Ray: Oh shit! Got it!
Gavin: Geoff's buncing the enemies for us!
Gavin: OOAARGHHHHHH!!!
Ray: Geoff! Geoff, hook a brother up! Hook a brother up!
Jack: Noooo!
Geoff: I told you guys I was helping you.
Ray: Hey Geoff!!
Ray: Platform!
Ray: Aw, fuck you.
Micheal: Goddammit, ray.
[Jack and Ray laugh]
Geoff: I was trying but you were just under it.
Gavin: Geoff, can I ask you a question?
Geoff: Yeah.
Gavin: Are you having too much fun?
Jack: Oh, there I am.
Micheal: Dammit! DAMMIT GEOFF!!
Gavin: Oh, it's the-
Ray: Alright, I'm at the top.
Gavin: Ahh! Moons!!
Jack: Oh, ring!
Jack: I got the ring!
Micheal: You gotta get the coin.
Ray: I ain't getting that shit, fuck that!
Geoff: I'm tryna-
Gavin: Guys, we just lost four moons!
Jack: Hang on, I'm getting on the ring!
Ray: Is that bad?
Micheal: I just died twice.
Jack: Wait, wait! Don't go up! Don't go up!
Jack: I'm gonna get us an extra life!
Ray: Dude, checkpoint!
Jack: I got us an extra life.
Jack: You're welcome.
Micheal: How do I get over here?
Ray: Oh! I get a flower, thanks Jack!
Gavin: Oh! Ice flower!
Micheal: Gimme that! Gimme that! Gimme that!
Micheal: Ok, there we go.
Ray: Alright, what the hell is this?
Gavin: Guys, we gotta keep the moons going.
Micheal: Ok, Gavin.
Ray: Do we though?
Gavin: No, 'cause they're three lives arent they, the moons?
Ray: Oh? Are they?
Jack: Woah.
Gavin: I don't know.
Micheal: I don't know what you're talking about.
Ray: More Ice Flowers! Who wants them?
Micheal: You snorting crack?
Ray: Correct answer: I want all of them.
Micheal: No, Ray!
Jack: Ray takes all the flowers.
Micheal: Fuckin', I got one.
Ray: Fuck that, no!
Micheal: Ray didn't get any!
Ray: I didn't get any!
Gavin: Who's changing the direction of the damn thing?
Ray: Stop changing the direction of the fucking cog!!
Ray: Aww, I just got crushed!
Jack: Geoff, is that you?
Micheal: Oh you both- Oh my God, you guys just got squished like bitches!
Jack: Oh, yeah. That's totally Geoff doing that.
[Gavin singing]
Ray: Yeah, you're tapping it.
Ray: Oh shit, Dry Bones just spawned right in front of me.
Micheal: I got fucking crushed to death by that cog.
Geoff: Look: I'm not even touching right now and it's not doing stuff.
[Geoff laughing]
Jack: Yeah, "I'm not even touching it right now" and it stops doing that.
Gavin: Ohh! Check this out! Check this out!
[Geoff continues to laugh]
Gavin: I got him!
Jack: Goddammit, Geoff!
Micheal: Geoff!!
Geoff: Oh, yeah. I can change the direction.
Micheal: We gotta get up, man!
[Gavin singing]
Ray: I can't get on the cog!
Jack: Oh! Oh-no!
Gavin: Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
[Geoff continues laughing)
[Geoff laughing]
Micheal: Oh! I made it a little bit!
[Geoff laughs harder]
[Geoff continues to laugh]
Jack: Oh God, Geoff's-
Gavin: People keep jumping on my-
Ray: Ah! No-no-no-no! No-no-no-no! Ah! Ah!! AH!!
Jack: Oh! C'mon!
Ray: Oh! I'm still alive!
Micheal: OH GOD, GEOFF! AHH GODDAMMIT!!
Jack: Mario brought me back to life and immediately got me killed.
Ray: Goddammit.
Micheal: Godamn.
[Geoff continues laughing)
Micheal: We're never gonna survive this!
Gavin: AAAARGHHHH!!
[Geoff laughs harder]
Micheal: It's like a fucking Saw trap!
Gavin: I got squished!
Jack Oh! Look at this!
Jack: Oh, look what I found! Look what I found!
Micheal: Dude, it's a secret Geoff Tunnel!
Micheal: Maybe we can escape his wrath!
Jack: Yeah, yeah! Let's get away from Geoff! Get away from Geoff!
Gavin: I don't think we can escape from this crazy maniac!
Micheal: Oh my God.
Gavin: [Singing] Alright, alright, alright, alright!
Gavin: I don't know!
[Micheal laughs]
Ray: I can't fucking wall bounce!
Ray: Oh, hey! Thanks!
[Jack laughs]
Ray: Thanks, Jack.
Micheal: [Singing] Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright.
Geoff: Hey, I'm gonna kill all the bad guys for you.
Jack: Ahh! I'm dead.
Geoff: You're welcome.
Ray: God, there's more cogs.
Micheal: Goddammit.
[Gavin laughs in shock]
Gavin: [Singing] Alright, alright, alright, alright!
Ray: Shout-out to André 3000.
[Micheal laughs]
Jack: You realize that Luigi and Mario and Toad are not bad guys right, Geoff?
Geoff: Well it depends on who's story we're told.
[Jack laughs]
Ray: Fuck! Alright, cool. We made it.
Micheal: [Singing] Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright.
Jack: Are you playing the part of the enemy?
Micheal: Dude, Boss Fight!
Ray: Look at this bald fuck!
Geoff: I got it, guys, don't worry I'll fuck him up.
Ray: Cancer's hit you hard.
[Gavin laughs in shock]
Micheal: We're gonna make this guy a bitch.
Gavin: Woah!
Jack: Oh! Squish!
Gavin: I just smushed him!
Ray: Oh shit!
Micheal: Oh. I keep forgetting you can jump off of the walls.
Gavin: can you imagine being an enemy...
Micheal: Geoff! You're a prick!
Geoff: No! I'm tryna give you guys platforms to jump on him.
Micheal: How did I-
Gavin: Ayah, Luigi! [Gurgles]
[Laughter]
Micheal: [Italian gibberish]
Micheal: Well, don't jump on his back.
Jack: Yeah!
Gavin: Can you- guys!
Jack: What's up!?
Micheal: Oh, we killed him! We're dead.
Geoff: We got him!
Gavin: Can you imagine being an enemy and fighting that rabble of people?
Micheal: We're fighting the game and Geoff.
Micheal: I died like...
Ray: I guess so.
Micheal: ...five times that level.
Gavin: Ayah, Luigi! [Gurgles]
[Laughter]
Micheal: [Italian gibberish]
[Micheal laughing]
Micheal: What?
Micheal: [Imitating Gavin] DON'T POST IT!!
[Gavin laughing]
Jack: [Imitating Gavin] Not to the Miiverse!
Micheal: Are you kidding me?
[Jack and Gavin laughing]
Micheal: We're fighting the game and Geoff.
Ray: Stop The Bullying 2013.
Jack: Oh Yes.
Micheal: Ah!
Ray: Ah, no!
Jack: What are we doing?
[Ray sniggering]
[Micheal laughing]
Gavin: Get out of it.
Micheal: [Imitating Gavin] DON'T POST IT!!
Jack: Wheeeeeee! 
Micheal: [Bad Italian accent] It's-a me, a-Mario! Wah-hah!
Gavin: Whoo-hoo!
Jack: Wheeeeeee! 
Micheal: [Bad Italian accent] It's-a me, a-Mario! Wah-hah!
Ray: Wheeee! 
Micheal: [Bad Italian accent]  I'm-a Joe Pesci-o!
Gavin: Ah! Whoever's Blue just jumped on my head, like, twelve times!
Ray: Oh shit!
Gavin: Ah! Whoever's Blue just jumped on my head, like, twelve times!
Micheal: Oh, God.
Jack: Next level!
Gavin: Aww! Dude! There's a Yahshi on the side! On the right!
Micheal: What's a 'Yahshi'?
Jack: There we go.
Micheal: Get it!
Micheal: Oh God!
Micheal: Dere's ah Yahshay!
[Micheal Gasps]
Gavin: Ay! Bomb's away!
Jack: Wheeeeeee! 
Micheal: [Bad Italian accent] It's-a me, a-Mario! Wah-hah!
Gavin: Whoo-hoo!
Jack: Wheeeeeee! 
Micheal: [Bad Italian accent] It's-a me, a-Mario! Wah-hah!
Ray: Wheeee! 
Micheal: [Bad Italian accent]  I'm-a Joe Pesci-o!
Gavin: They added...
Ray: Oh shit!
Gavin: Ah! Whoever's Blue just jumped on my head, like, twelve times!
Micheal: Dude! Let's get some fuckin' mushrooms!
Ray: Get your 'shrooms!
Jack: Ow! Who jumped off me?
Micheal: Dude, Mario's fucking...
Jack: There we go.
Micheal: Get it!
Micheal: Oh God!
Micheal: Oh God no!!
[Laughter]
Gavin: I think they added...
[Laughter]
Gavin: Who's got me in their mouth!?!
Micheal: I was trying to grab it!
[Raucous laughter and screaming]
Gavin: Ah! Don't eat me!
Gavin: Did they add extra bars to this-
Gavin: Let me on- [Muffled screaming]
Ray: Oh, Yoshis!
[Gavin continues to scream]
Jack: Yoshi!
Micheal: Ah, dude, gimme one!!
Gavin: AHHH!! SOMEONE ATE ME!!
[Laughter]
Gavin: SOMEONE ATE ME!!!
[Laughter]
Gavin: Who's got me in their mouth!?!
[Jack laughs]
[Raucous laughter and screaming]
[Jack still laughing]
Jack: C'mere!
Gavin: Let me on- [Muffled screaming]
Micheal: There's still a Yoshi here for Gavin!
[Gavin continues to scream]
Ray: I got you, buddy!
Gavin: Oh-hah!
Micheal: This is gonna be like Brokeback Yoshi.
Gavin: Yes!
Ray: I deserve-
Ray: Goddammit!
Gavin: Gobbled!
[Jack laughs]
Ray: Boy how the tables have turned!
[Jack still laughing]
Micheal: Alright, Gavin.
Ray: Alright, there. We're good.
Micheal: You got Yoshi.
Jack: Whoa! Look at that! 
Ray: Hey, nice!
Gavin: I didn't know we could damn eat each other!
Micheal: We're ready.
Micheal: This is gonna be like Brokeback Yoshi.
Geoff: Hey, look! I made stairs for you guys.
Gavin: Hey, thanks, dude!
Jack: Oh, look, I got it!
Ray: Oh, shit! No! Shit! Okay, I got it.
Micheal: Yeah, nice Geoff!
Gavin: Hup!
[Yoshi lick-fest]
Micheal: Fuck! Goddamn.
[Jack and Geoff laughing]
Jack: [Laughing] We were tongue-ing each other!
Gavin: Ah! Dude! Dude! Dude! Secret! Secret floor!
Jack: Whoa! Look at that! 
Ray: Hey, nice!
Jack: Ow!
Ray: Oh, we got two of the coins!
Gavin: And we're done.
Jack: Ow!
Gavin: I think I just someone's skull!
Jack: Ah! My Yoshi!
Micheal: I jumped off!
Ray: Ah, fucking... Goddamn!
Gavin: I've gone down the pipe.
Ray: So have I.
[Yoshi lick-fest]
Micheal: Fuck! Goddamn.
[Jack and Geoff laughing]
Jack: [Laughing] We were tongue-ing each other!
Gavin: I am just caked in saliva right now.
Ray: You too?
Gavin: Hooooouuuurggghhh!
Ray: Oh, we got two of the coins!
Gavin: And we're done.
Micheal: No!!
Micheal: Yoshi! No!
Micheal: Come back!
Ray: Get your Yoshi back!
Micheal: No-no-no-no-no!
All: Ooooooohhhh!
Ray: Dude, you clutched it!
Micheal: It was clutch.
Ray: Captain Clutch.
Gavin: Oh, I'm out.
Micheal: Captain... Professor...
Gavin: I'm gonna eat that then I'm gonna eat-
Gavin: AAAARGHHHHH!!
Ray: Opp! Go, Yoshi, go!
Gavin: AAHH!!
Gavin: I died!
Ray: Yoshi's still going. I'm keeping-
[Micheal chuckling]
Micheal: No-no-no-no-no!
[Micheal chuckling]
Micheal: NO!! GEOFF YOU KILLED HIM!!
[Jack, Micheal then Geoff chuckle]
Micheal: GET OFF MY YOSHI!!
Ray: Gavin, you're free!
Jack: Yoshi! come back!
Gavin: Waaaahhhhh!
Ray: Getcha Yoshi! Getcha Yoshi!
Jack: No, that's my Yoshi!
Gavin: Oough!
Micheal: Ha-ha-ha-ha! Thanks, Jack!
Jack: Micheal took my Yoshi!
[Micheal chuckling]
Jack: Goddammit, Micheal!
[Micheal chuckling]
Micheal: That's politics, bitch!
[Jack, Micheal then Geoff chuckle]
Ray: Wheeee!
Ray: Yoshi slide!
Gavin: I don't know where I am.
Jack: Awww.
Gavin: Oh, I'm dead.
Micheal: How did you die from that?
Jack: I'm with Gavin.
Micheal: Oh, there's more Yoshis
Jack: Yoshi!
Gavin: Ohhh! Awww! Weak!
[Jack and Gavin laugh]
Ray: Oh, Piranha Plant!
Gavin: Don't get the-
Gavin: Oof!
Jack: Move!
Gavin: Who's getting all the mushrooms?
Jack: Yeah! I got Yoshi!
Micheal: Alright, ev-
Ray: You can eat the Piranha Plant!
Jack: C'mere I'll getcha, Gavin!
Micheal: Grabbin! Grabbin!
[Jack and Geoff laugh]
Micheal: Grab your Yosh!
Jack: Yolp!
[Jack and Gavin laugh]
Micheal: Grab your Yosh!
Ray: OHH!!
Ray: Not gonna make that jump!
Jack: Don't worry!
Gavin: How do I get out?
Gavin: Someone just spat me out!
Jack: Oh, did I swallow you?!
Micheal: Oh fuck!
Jack: I think I swallowed Gavin!
Micheal: Did you kill him?
[Jack and Geoff laugh]
Micheal: Did you murder him?
Jack: I think I may have!
Gavin: No, no-
Ray: Oh, hey! There's a 'shroom if anyone-
Ray: OHH!!
Ray: Not gonna make that jump!
Gavin: ARP!!
Jack: Oh!
Gavin: Someone just spat me out!
Micheal: I have no idea what happened.
Jack: Where am I? Oh, there I am.
Gavin: Micheal! You tried to spit me down a hole!
Micheal: You were in my mouth?!
Jack: Oh! Ow! Ow!
Jack: Stop jumping on me!
Gavin: Good grief, Geoff! Give it a rest!
Gavin: WAAHH-HAAH!!
Micheal: Oh my God.
Ray: Oh. What happens if I go down here?
Jack: Oh! Yoshi! No-no-no!
Gavin: Ahhh! The pipe.
[Geoff laughs]
Geoff: Here, I'll make platforms for you guys so you can jump over.
[Geoff laughs]
Jack: Ha-ha! Ha-ha!
Gavin: Too late.
[Geoff laughing]
All: Awww...
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: Cocks!
[Geoff laughing]
Micheal: Jesus...
Jack: Alright.
[Jack laughs]
Ray: Oh! Last coin! Mine!
Ray: Oh no!!
Gavin: AH-HA-HA!!
Ray: Oh, we got it! We got it!
[Geoff laughs]
Ray: Fuck you, Geoff.
[Geoff laughs]
Gavin: Dude, I'm making quick progress with these downstairs-
Gavin: OH!! There's a secret area up top!
[Geoff laughing]
All: Awww...
[Geoff laughing]
Ray: Cocks!
[Geoff laughing]
Micheal: Jesus...
Geoff: I'm so happy to help.
[Jack laughs]
Ray: You're doing something.
Jack: Yoshi!
Gavin: He keeps tapping! He's buncing me in the air!
Gavin: Wuh!
Gavin: Ah!
Ray: Oh!
Gavin: Jack!
Micheal: Hnnnnngggh!
Ray: Triple kill!
Micheal: Hnnnnngggh!
Ray: Woah! What happened? Why am I- Am I full now?
Micheal: Hnnnnngggh!
Ray: Like, can I not eat anymore?
Jack: Oh! I spit a fireball!
Ray: Oh! Yeah you did!
Gavin: How are you spitting fireballs?!
Ray: Hold on!
Jack: I grabbed a Piranha Plant.
[Micheal laughs]
Ray: I want it! Got it!
Gavin: Really!?
Jack: Yeah.
Gavin: I didn't know you could do that.
Gavin: Oh! There I am!
Ray: Yeah, you can grab PowerUps with Yoshi then spit them out and grab them later.
Jack: Oh, Geoff's making stairs for us!
Ray: 1up!
Geoff: Yeah!
Jack: Oh, nope, no he wasn't.
Geoff: Yeah I was!
Gavin: Uhhh... where am I?
Ray: What kind of stairs are these!?
[Micheal laughs]
Gavin: Where am I!?
Jack: Ah! Woah!
Gavin: Am I in someone's mouth?
[Ray laughs]
Gavin: Oh! There I am!
[Everyone laughs]
Jack: Oh! It's the end!
Ray: STOOUUUGGHH!
Ray: 1up!
Micheal: Dammit! I keep missing the 1up!
Geoff: Good job, guys!
Jack: Oh! I didn't even get to the end!
Gavin: This is freakin' fun!
Micheal: Dude, you don't take Yoshes into the castle.
Micheal: Fuck, dude. Fuck, dude.
Jack: Do I not get...?
Micheal: You're a bitch!
Gavin: You're just watching you chump. Look at that!
[Ray laughs]
Ray: Oh! Look at these Yoshis!
Micheal: See you later, sucker!
Jack: Bye, guys!
Gavin: I think these are the-
Ray: Oh! I guess we need to-
Micheal: Oh, Goddammit!
Geoff: Whew!
Gavin: These are the inflate-y guys. 
Ray: Oh yeah. let's go see what's up.
Geoff: You guys are great.
Gavin: This is freakin' fun!
Micheal: Dude, you don't take Yoshes into the castle.
Geoff: I agree, guys! I'm having a blast!
Jack: [Funny Yoshi voice] Hey, baby! I'm Baby Yoshi! 
Micheal: S'up, baby?
[Micheal laughs]
Ray: Oh, dude! Go to that fat fuck on the right!
Gavin: Yeah, let's go right.
Micheal: We're going this way?
Gavin: Yeah, we're gonna get this-
Jack: Fat Yoshi.
Jack: [Funny Yoshi voice] I'm following you guys!
[Gavin laughs]
Micheal: I dunno.
Jack: [Funny Yoshi voice] Let's go!
[Micheal laughs]
Jack: [Funny Yoshi voice] Alright!
Gavin: It's-a me! [Gibberish]
Micheal and Ray: It's Baby Yoshi.
Jack: [Funny Yoshi voice] Hey, baby! I'm Baby Yoshi! 
Micheal: S'up, baby?
Jack: [Funny Yoshi voice] Who's got some cake!?
Ray: That was something.
Jack: That's how he talks!
Gavin: Alright, you do the voices from now on, Jack!
Micheal: Oh, dude! He's coming with us!
Ray: Oh, he's following us?
Jack: [Funny Yoshi voice] I'm following you guys!
[Gavin laughs]
Gavin: I'm going to do Luigi's voice.
Jack: [Funny Yoshi voice] Let's go!
[Micheal laughs]
Jack: [Funny Yoshi voice] Alright!
Gavin: It's-a me! [Gibberish]
Micheal: That's Luigi!?
Gavin: Yeah. I don't know. How does he talk?
Jack: [Funny Yoshi voice] Who's got some cake!?
Gavin: Myehhh.
Micheal: What the fuck is Jack's voice?
Ray and Jack: Whoa!
Micheal: Oh shit!
Gavin: They're suicidal!
Jack: Pick them up! Quick!
Ray: Oh, I got one!
Micheal: Oh, they're-
[Jack laughing]
Gavin: WHOO HOOOO!!
Ray: Told you they were fat!
Jack: Oh! Look at that!
Micheal: Wha-
Ray: WHOA!
Jack: We're floating!
Ray: You're holding onto me!
Micheal: I killed one!
Geoff: Here, I've got platforms to push you guys forward.
Micheal: I already lost one!
Ray: I got you, buddy!
Micheal: I'm holding onto Ray!
Ray: AHHHHH!!
Micheal: RAAAAYYYY!!!
[Jack laughing]
Micheal: You dropped me!
Ray: I didn't let you go, that was Geoff!
Geoff: What? I didn't let you go!
Jack: I think that- is that me?
Micheal: See ya, bitch!
Jack: I don't know which one I am.
Ray: NOOO!!
Gavin: You shake them to get more height!
Ray: Yeah.
Jack: Which tch- I'm-
Gavin: Ahh! Stop jumping on my head!
Jack: I have no idea where I'm at right now!
Ray: Oh! Jack, you just ran off the map!
Micheal: You just- you just died!
Jack: Oh, ga- I thought I was the one on top!
Gavin: Ahhhh my God!
Gavin: Geo- OOOOUGGHHHHH!!
Gavin: I lost mine!
Ray: Hop on!
Gavin: Oh, I got him back!
Ray: Okay, cool.
Jack: Alright, Alright! Let me jump on!
Micheal: Oh God!
Micheal: [Bad Italian accent] That's-a my baby Smoshio!
Jack: [Funny Yoshi voice] Hey guys! Let's get some more cake!
Micheal: [Laughing] What the fuck?
Gavin: Ughh!
Micheal: [Laughing] What is it with you and the cake?
Micheal: Jack's gonna kill us all!
Gavin: Ahhhh! Flower attack!
Jack: Opp!
Ray: Jack's got it now!
Jack: I got it! Alright!
Ray: And then Luigi fell off the map!
Gavin: Jack, you got my baby Smosh!
Micheal: "My baby Smosh"?
Gavin: Smoshi.
Ray: Luigi, grab on!
Micheal: [Bad Italian accent] That's-a my baby Smoshio!
Jack: [Funny Yoshi voice] Hey guys! Let's get some more cake!
[Laughter]
Micheal: [Laughing] What the fuck?
Ray: Are you all four of them now, or...?
Micheal: [Laughing] What is it with you and the cake?
Micheal: OH GOD NO!!
Ray: Oh!
Gavin: Oh! Someone get this coin!
Ray: Hold on! Hold on! I'm going for it! I'm going for it!
Gavin: Ohhh, Ray!
Ray: Got it!
Gavin: Ohhh, Ray! Nicely done!
Gavin: Wah!
Jack: Oh! Ga- geoff, you're blocking my path!
Ray: I'm losing fat!
Micheal: Ohhh shit!
Geoff: Nah, I'm helping you guys out. I'm building stairs.
Jack: Uh! Oof!
Gavin: Dude, you're gonna have to re-chunk  yourself.
Gavin: [Laughs] Thanks, Geoff!
[Jack laughing]
Jack: I got a thing! I got a thing! I got a thing! What is this?
Gavin: Whoo-hoo!
Jack: I can't get this!
Ray: Stop blocking me!!
Micheal: Goddammit!
Jack: Oh! I got 1ups!
Gavin: I'm trying to kill this giant flower!
Jack: Oh!
Jack: Oh no!
Micheal: Dammit! They all fell off!
Gavin: Geoff! Give me a platform, Geoff!
Geoff: Okay.
Micheal: Yeah, Geoff'll- Geoff'll-
Geoff: Here. Over here.
Gavin: [Laughs] Thanks, Geoff!
[Jack laughing]
Gavin: Geoff gimme a platform!
Jack: We lost Luigi. 
Ray: How?
Ray: Uh oh!
Micheal: [Laughing] Who'd we lose? We lost Gavin!
Ray: Uh oh!
Ray: Geoff! Stop it! Stop it!
Micheal: [Laughing] You have seven!
Jack: Yeah, 1up!
Micheal: Fucking finally I got a 1up.
Ray: Oh!
Geoff: Whew!
Jack: [Funny Yoshi voice] Alright, guys! That was fun!
Gavin: Well, I- mine got it! Jack- [Gurgles incoherently]
[Laughter]
Geoff: That was some pretty intense platform work by me!
Micheal: [Bad Italian accent] He ate-a the cake!
Jack: [Funny Yoshi voice]I turned into a balloon!
Jack: We lost Luigi. 
Ray: How?
Gavin: You've got fourteen lives!
Micheal: [Laughing] Who'd we lose? We lost Gavin!
Ray: Yeah, I've got fourteen lives.
Ray: Yeah, we lost Gavin along the way.
Micheal: [Laughing] You have seven!
Gavin: I did not make it.
Micheal: [Sighs] I'm gonna go the other way?
Geoff: Whew!
Micheal: Yeah, everyone but you.
Jack: [Funny Yoshi voice] Alright, guys! That was fun!
Gavin: Well, I- mine got it! Jack- [Gurgles incoherently]
[Laughter]
Ray: Good one, Luigi!
Gavin: [Laughing] Speedrun?
Jack: [Funny Yoshi voice]I turned into a balloon!
Geoff: Whew!
Gavin: Oh! Dude! Y'know what we should do?
Micheal: Let's get this castle, son!
Ray: D'you think we should do that?
Gavin: Nah, we should go the other way!
Ray: Should we go straight to the castle?
Jack: Castle!
Gavin: No, we should go the other way.
Micheal: [Sighs] I'm gonna go the other way?
Jack: Aw.
Gavin: Yeah, yeah! Then we can kill this-
Ray: No, we ain't ready for the castle.
Gavin: Then we can see what those flowers are about.
Ray: Dude, it's a 100% speedrun!
Micheal: Yeah, we need some training!
Gavin: [Laughing] Speedrun?
Micheal: D'you think we're setting records here, guys?
Geoff: Yes.
Jack: We're crushing.
Gavin: We're gonna submit this to Speed Demos Archive.
Ray: Rise of the Piranha Plants.
Ray: It's like that movie with the apes.
Micheal: Yeah, we can hit the house and then we can hit the fucking-
Ray: Tell Barbara.
Gavin: Geoff!
Micheal: Goddammit.
[Ray and Gavin laughing]
Jack: Ahh! Ahh!
Jack: Oh! I've got a-
Geoff: Oh! Watch out!
Micheal: I've lost track of myself.
Ray: Holy shit!
Micheal: Oh! I died! I ran out and I immediately died!
Ray: Oh.
Ray: Get that Koopa fuck!
Jack: Alright.
Micheal: Where the hell am I?
Micheal: Oh, there I am.
Jack: There you are.
Ray: Dude, hop on!
Micheal: Ohhhhh.
Micheal: YOU FUCKING HIT ME RIGHT INTO IT!!
[Ray and Gavin laughing]
Micheal: Goddammit!!
Jack: That is a giant freaking piranha!
Ray: Dude, this Yoshi thing is awesome!
Micheal: Fuck!
Jack: There you go!
Gavin: Ray? You know people at- you know people at Speed Demos Archive, right?
Ray: I don't KNOW them but I watch them.
Jack: Woah!
Gavin: We're gonna submit this.
Ray: Yeah! We're gonna submit this.
Gavin: Yeah.
Micheal: Oh God!
Ray: And then it probably won't get accepted.
Gavin: Coin!
Gavin: COIN!!
Gavin: Woahhh!
Micheal: But we would've tried, Ray.
Ray: That's true.
Geoff: Don't worry, I'm protecting you.
Jack: Where am I? Oh, there I am.
Gavin: OOORGHH!!
Jack: Oh! Hammer Brother!
Gavin: I got-
Ray: Dude we don't have- we don't have a timer going, we don't have splits, we don't have anything to go off of!
Gavin: He hammered off my overalls!
Jack: Ah!
Micheal: What is this star doing? Why is it here? What does it do?
Gavin: Oh my God, star?
Ray: I don't know I've seen that quite a few times.
Gavin: GEOFF TAP THE STAR!!
Ray: Yeah, tap the star!
Micheal: Geoff, tap it!
Jack: Tap the star, Geoff!
Micheal: Tap the star Geoff!
Micheal: Everyone's saying it.
Ray: Oh.
Jack: Woah! Woah!
Micheal: There you go!
Geoff: There you go, I tapped the star.
Jack: What's going on?
Micheal: I don't know what's happening.
Ray: Now his.. thing... is all starry.
Gavin: Wooaahh!
Micheal: Oh great! So It somehow fucked us more!
Ray: Geoff, you're a superstar!
Ray: Where am I? Oh there I am.
Jack: Where am I?
Gavin: What is this doing?
Ray: Gaahh! Noo! Fuck!
Jack: Oh, there I am!
Gavin: Do you get extra money for enemies now?
Ray: Oh! No-no-no-no-no-no! Nuh! Huh!
Miccheal: Oohhh my God! I died again!
Ray: Got 'em!
Jack: Oh! I lost my Yoshi!
Micheal: I'm catching up on Gavin very quickly!
Ray: Yo, I still got my Yoshi!
Jack: There we go!
Gavin: Awww! My Yoshi's running out of air!
Jack: Owh!
Gavin: Oh, he's got more now!
Jack: Luigi was bouncing off head!
Micheal: There we go.
Gavin: I managed to intake more air jumping on someone's head!
Ray: Ahh! How the fuck we- Ah shi-
Gavin: What the!? Jeeeeez!
Micheal: Geoff, you keep bashing me around!
Ray: Geoff is gonna fuck our mouth.
Jack: Woah! Woah! Geoff!
Ray: Let's just wait this out?
Jack: Can you murder that thing for us, please?
Ray: Huh! Huh! Huuuuh!
Micheal: Geoff! You're a bitch!
[Jack and Micheal laugh]
Gavin: Ahh!
Micheal: Oh my God!
Jack: Ohh! It's so big!
[Micheal and Jack laugh]
Jack: Ohhhh!
Ray: I'm trying to.
Gavin: That's a pipe!
Ray: I'm trying to!
Gavin: Geoff! Make a platform for the pipe!
Geoff: Alright, hold on.
Jack: Uhhh! Can't get up to it!
Geoff: I can't do it right there.
[Laughter]
Jack: Can't get- Push me through it!
[Everyone laughing, Gavin groaning]
[Jack and Micheal laugh]
Geoff: Okay.
[Jack and Geoff laughing]
Gavin: Geeooff!
[Micheal and Jack laugh]
Gavin: Alright, that's good! That's good!
Gavin: Aaarghhhh!!
Ray: Well. You gave it the old college try.
[Micheal chuckling]
Jack: C'mon, Geoff, do it!
Gavin: Under me!
Gavin: Geoff!! Under me!
Jack: Under Luigi!
[Laughter]
Gavin: Geoff! I'm gonna run out of puff!
[Everyone laughing, Gavin groaning]
Jack: Oh! You lost your Yoshi!
Gavin: AAHHH!!
[Jack and Geoff laughing]
Gavin: Oh no!
Jack: Ah! You're trying to kill me!
Gavin: AAHH!! I'm smooshed!
Micheal: WHHOOOO!!
Jack: Oh no! I got squished!
[Micheal chuckling]
Jack: Oh, I'm still alive! I'm still alive!
Gavin: Geoff!
Micheal: Geoff!!
Geoff: That was good, guys!
Micheal: Ugg!
Geoff: No, I'm helping like crazy, what are you talking about?
Jack: Well, again, it depends who you're-
[Micheal making strange noises]
Ray: Oh!
Jack: There's the end!
Ray: 1up!!
Micheal: [Bad Italian accent] It's-a me! Joe Pesci-o!
[Gavin and Jack laugh]
Micheal: Aww!
Gavin: Ai-yea!
Micheal: Dammit!
Geoff: Toad flag.
Micheal: Holy ssshhit!
Geoff: Whew!
Geoff: That was good, guys!
Ray: Dude, I got 16 lives!
Micheal: Ray is racking them up.
Gavin: I've only got seven.
[Micheal making strange noises]
Ray: Later, Mario.
Micheal: That's fine.
Ray: Or Mario.
Micheal: [Bad Italian accent] It's-a me! Joe Pesci-o!
[Gavin and Jack laugh]
Ray: Oh! What's on the left? Can we get 1ups?
Gavin: Ai-yea!
Micheal: Ai-i-i-i-i-i-i!
Gavin: Yeah, let's go left first.
Micheal: Micheal: Yeah, let's go through this door thing again.
Jack: Alright.
Micheal: And then we'll fucking do that castle.
Gavin: It's a green mushroom now!
Ray: Yeah.
Gavin: Ahhh! Different game!
Micheal: Ah shit! It's going down!
Jack: Alright.
Ray: Get more fuckin' 1ups than Bowser tokens.
Gavin: Uh oh! This is gonna be chaos, innit?
Jack: Oh no.
Ray: Uhhh, yeah it is.
Micheal: Teamwork!
Gavin: Don't get the Bowsers!
Gavin: OOHH! Coins!
Gavin: Huuuh! So many!
Jack: Coins!
Ray: Hoh!
Gavin: AHHH!!
Jack: I got a 1up! Aww!
Micheal: You jibs got the Bowsers!
Jack: I swallowed some Bowser.
Ray: Chomping the- Oh!
Micheal: Get it in your mouth, Jack.
Ray: Double 1up!
Geoff: Boooom!
Jack: Oh no! I got a Bowser!
Ray: Shit, I got that Bowser.
Gavin: I'm gonna stand up here.
Micheal: Gavin, we don't neeeed anything else, okay?
Gavin: Ohhh!
Ray: I just got a bowser thing. That sucked.
Gavin: Uh oh!
Ray: What happens if you get the Bowser thing? Nothing seems to be happening.
[Micheal making noises]
Ray: I just got another one.
Micheal: Uhh, I think a little bit goes up your butt.
Jack: Oh! I got a bad one.
Ray: Oh, okay. Nice.
Gavin: Uhhh! Hah!
Ray: I should keep getting inside.
Ray: Got that one.
Micheal: Ass play.
[Laughter]
Jack: Aww, I missed a 1up!
Micheal: Ass play. Ass play. Ass play. Ass play.
[Laughter]
Geoff: Oohhhhhh!
Jack: Yeah! I got a 1up!
Geoff: Good job, guys!
[Laughter]
Ray: My bad! [Laughs]
Geoff: Nothing, I can't do anything.
Gavin: Wow!
Micheal: What the hell does that mean?
Ray: Not bad.
Ray: Uhhhhh...
Jack: Yeah!
Gavin: AHH!
[Laughter]
Ray: Goddammit!
Micheal: So...
[Laughter]
Micheal: Well that blows!
Gavin: Did we really pick up, like, twelve of those things?
Ray: I picked up, like, eighteen on my own.
[Laughter]
Ray: My bad! [Laughs]
Micheal: Dude.
Geoff: Whew!
Ray: So do we fight that Piranha Plant now, or what the fuck do we do?
Micheal: So... yeah! Do we-
Gavin: Yeah, let's go!
Micheal: D'you wanna try go this way?
Jack: Oh!
Geoff: Oohhhhh!
Micheal: Oh shit!
Ray: Fuck you!
Micheal: Dude, get wrecked, bitch!
Geoff: Dammmnnnn!
Ray: Is this like a boss fight?
Jack: That was ridiculous!
Micheal: I don't know, Ray.
Jack: I got it! [Laughs]
Micheal: I'm not a future-seer
Jack: Oh, I'm on the right!
Ray: Ah fuck! I threw my Yoshi!
Jack: [Laughing] That was me!
Ray: Uhhh...
Ray: I have Fire Flowers, so...
Gavin: Oh! A thing!
Micheal: We'll probably just, y'know, have Geoff help us out.
Geoff: Yeah! I'll help!
Ray: I think the- Oh! A chest!
Gavin: Oh!
Micheal: Oh! A chest! We killed it! It's dead! We win!
Ray: What did we get? Oh!
Gavin: Ohhhh! It's a star!
Micheal: Good job, guys!
Jack: I got it! [Laughs]
Jack: Weeeee!
Gavin: Who's that flying around?
Micheal: He's just flying around.
Jack: [Laughing] That was me!
Ray: That was Jack. Did I lose my Yoshi?
Ray: That would suck.
Micheal: I don't know, bro.
Gavin: Ahh! Dude!
Micheal: Alright! You ready for this?
Jack: Alright, here we go!
Gavin: Bloody Lemmy Koopa or whatever his name is is going down!
Jack: Ooo!
Micheal: This is like the first Boss Fight!
Ray: You might be right, Gavin. That might actually be his name.
Jack: Alright. Let's Boss this Fight.
Ray: Lemmy's Swingback Castle!
Gavin: Dude! Lemmy's always first, isn't he?
Jack: Lemmy's Swingin' Castle.
Micheal: [Bad Italian Accent] It's-a me! Your brother Mario!
Ray: Super Mario Brothers 3.
Jack:  Ayyy, what's up? I'm Lemmy, I'm swinging!
Ray: I have twenty lives!
Gavin: I'm looking forward to Ludwig!
Ray: Aaaaaalright! This-
Micheal: Alright this is good!
Ray: Ah! fucking Geoff is-
Jack: Ahhhh...
Micheal: Dude! I'm looking forward to Sedders.
Jack: This is gonna go well!
Gavin: Geoff could potentially help us here!
Gavin: Wingsuit!!
Micheal: Oh, you think?
Gavin: Ah! Who's jumping on my head?!
Jack: Where am I?
Micheal: [Bad Italian Accent] It's-a me! Your brother Mario!
Gavin: Ahhh...
Ray: Oh!!
Jack: Oh! Look at me!
Ray Huh! Hah!
Micheal: Bustavongoolie!
Jack: Look at me! I'm at the very top! I'm at the very top again!
Ray: How did Jack get up there again?!
Gavin: Houwh!
Jack: How did I do this?
Gavin: I burnt my arse!
Micheal: You were in the lava!
Ray: Ho!
Micheal: Geoff! You little prick!
[Gavin laughing]
Micheal: Could you please not on the lava?
Jack: Look at me way up there! Weeee!
Geoff: What?
Gavin: Hey! Geoff!
Gavin: Geoff.
Geoff: What's up?
Gavin: I think what happens when you-
Ray: NO!!
Jack: Aw, I fell.
Gavin: When you fill your Star Meter if it's filled by us walking on your things.
Jack: Oh! I got an acorn!
Geoff: I'm sorry. Say that again, please. Sorry.
Gavin: When we walk on your blocks it fills your Star Meter up I think.
Geoff: When I walk on my blocks?
Gavin: When we walk on your blocks!
Micheal: When we walk on your blocks, Geoff!
Geoff: Oh, good!
[Gavin laughing]
Micheal: Well, they're always, like, on top of us.
Geoff: I'm filling you with stardust.
Gavin: I keep burning to death!!
Micheal: No-no-no-NO-NO-NOO!!
Micheal: YOU KILLED ME!!
Micheal: You fuckers!
Geoff: Gavin killed you?
Micheal: Yoooou fucks!
Gavin: I'm in a bubble!
Ray: Ah, fuck!
Gavin: Ahh!
Ray: I feel pretty good about this.
Gavin: Freedom bubble!
Gavin: Oohh!
Jack: Ah!
Gavin: Uhhh!
Micheal: We're gonna fuck-
Gavin: Huugh! It's screwed!
Micheal: I'mma- I'mma come to live in the lava!
Jack: Acorn!
Ray:No you're not, you're fine.
Gavin: Ah!
Gavin: Geoff is-
Micheal: Geoff is trying to kill us-
Gavin: [Laughs] "Runs out of wing"!
Ray: Uh! Found me!
Gavin: Ah!
Ray: Uh! Huh! Huh!
Jack: Ah! Geoff's helping! Geoff is helping!
Ray: Speedrun! Speedrun! Speedrun!
Jack: Quote on quote.
Micheal: Crap! Oh, Geoff!
Ray: Speedrun!
Gavin: Ahhhhh!
Micheal: Right in the lava again!
Jack: Make it! Make it!
[Geoff giggling]
Micheal: Ray's- Ray's in the lava.
Ray: Ohhhhh! Saved it! Uh!
Micheal: Wow! That's impressive!
Jack: So hot!
Ray: God, this wingsuit is so good and then it runs out of fucking... wing!
Micheal: Geoff is trying to kill us-
Gavin: [Laughs] "Runs out of wing"!
Micheal: I got right in the lava!!
Gavin: AAARGHHHH!!
Ray: Alright! Checkpoint! Way to go, guys!
Jack: Alright! And a checkpoint!
Gavin: I've lost twelve lives I think on this run!
Ray: Wuh!!
Jack: Woah!
Micheal: I don't even know where I am!
Ray: Ohh! I got so lucky!
Jack: Geoff almost murdered me!
Micheal: Oh, look!
Gavin: Bloody tut!
Gavin: Uh!
[Geoff giggling]
Micheal: They. Keep. Fucking. Spawning me over the lava!
Jack: Oh! It's a star!
Micheal: Geoff. You little shit.
Geoff: Oh! I missed it!
Gavin: Is Geoff making us spawn?
Jack: Ohhh! Nuuuh! Nuuh!
Ray: Uh, yeah, he's-
Gavin: Is he popping my damn bubble?
Ray: He's popping bubble.
Gavin: You're popping my bubble over thE LAVA!
Micheal: Yeah, We're gonna be fucking game over'd in two seconds.
Jack: Ohhh!
Micheal: Goddammit!
Ray: Huh! Huh!
Jack: Noooo!
Gavin: Ray! It's all on you, buddy!
Ray: I got it!
Ray: Huh! Hoh! Hoo!
Jack: Hot!
Gavin: Uh!
Gavin: Don't leave me- [Death gurgles]
Micheal: Holy fuck!
Micheal: And then I DIED AS SOON AS I GOT OUT BY FUCKING DRY BONES!!
Ray: I got this, guys! I'll get to the end!
Gavin: AAHHHHH!! Geoff!!
Geoff: I'm trying to help you guys out!
Jack: Alright. Wuh! Ah, hot!
Ray: Oh! WOOAAH!!
Micheal: I've seen myself die, like, fifteen times!
Ray: I lost my wingsuit!
Geoff: Ohhh! Watch out!
Micheal: Welcome to hell, Ray!
Gavin: Noo!
Jack: Ohhhh boy!
Ray: Uh!
Ray: Made it!
Jack: No!
Gavin: Ahh!
Gavin: Don't leave me- [Death gurgles]
Ray: Alright. I think we're good. I think the lava's over.
[Gavin Singing the X-Men theme]
Ray: The Bad Man's gone now.
[Jack singing the X-Men theme]
Geoff: Whew!
Gavin: Ourh!
Jack: Look at us going in! That was close, guys!
Ray: That wasn't bad!
[Jack continues to sing]
Gavin: HOW DOES RAY HAVE 21 LIVES, AND I HAVE TWO!?!
Ray: I didn't fall in the lava once!
Ray: I hadn't lost my wingsuit.
Micheal: He had his wingsuit. He had the wingsuit.
Jack: I think I can explain that.
Ray: Holy shit!
Jack: Woah! What the hell is that thing!?
Gavin: I'm not even here!
Jack: Wel- Oh! Oh Jee- What the- Woah!
Gavin: There we are!
Micheal: You're right there!
[Gavin and Jack laughing]
[Jack laughing]
[Gavin, Jack and Geoff laughing and chuckling]
[Jack singing the X-Men theme]
Gavin: Ah! X-Men Let's Play? I'm on it!
Micheal: Geoff, I hope you burn in hell.
[Jack continues to sing]
Geoff: That's not a nice thing to say to the person who's helping you.
Micheal: I'm sorry, Geoff.
Micheal: [Bad Italian accent] It's-a me!
Micheal: I hope you burn in hell.
Gavin: Oh. We're gonna get fired over there.
Jack: Bye Mario.
Jack: Wel- Oh! Oh Jee- What the- Woah!
Gavin: Whoo-hoo!
Micheal: Uhh... tell me how it goes, guys!
[Gavin and Jack laughing]
[Jack laughing]
[Gavin, Jack and Geoff laughing and chuckling]
Gavin: I don't remember that would've-
Micheal: Is it dangerous?
Jack: Who'da thunk?
[Laughter]
Ray: Oh! This guy!
Jack: He's on his little ball!
Gavin: Ah, thanks for joining us, Mario.
Micheal: Ah, y'know.
Jack: Alright, Lemmy.
Micheal: [Bad Italian accent] It's-a me!
Ray: Oh shit.
Jack: Do you think he's uhhh... a Motörhead Fan?
Ray: He's droppin' bombs!
Geoff: Here. I'll help you get above him.
Pfffffffffff!
Micheal: Yeah. Dammit.
Ray: Thanks.
Gavin: Huah!
Gavin: I just nailed him!
Ray: Oh nice, you got him.
Gavin: I died! I died.
[Ray and Jack laugh]
Gavin: Well I guess you can't do that.
Micheal: Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!
Jack: Ahhhhhh!
Micheal: OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD!!
Ray: AHHH!! Somebody hit him!
Micheal: Ah! Fucking punk-ass bitch!
Gavin: Oh! He's a- HE'S A SHELL NOW!
Jack: Oh! He got me!
Geoff: I'll protect you!
Gavin: WAAHH-HOH!
Ray: Hey, there's a mushroom there for whoever wants it. Oh fuck! Geoff no!
Gavin: Argh! He can jump! Oh my God!
Jack: Where am I? Oh, there I am.
Gavin: Geoff is making it so I can't jump over him!
Ray: [To Gavin] I have 22 lives, you have one!
[Ray and Jack laugh]
Jack: Oh! I've lost him!
Gavin: Where is he? Where is he?
Micheal: Ahh! I'm dead again. And again.
Ray: He's in shell.
Gavin: Ah!
Ray: Shell mode!
Gavin: Ah! Ahh!!
Micheal: Dead again.
Geoff: I'll stop the shell, don't worry!
Jack: [Laughing] Yeah.
Gavin: Wah-hah!!
Ray: Oh my God!
Gavin: Ahhh! I died.
Ray: Geoff actually saved my life, there.
Geoff: Yeah, I did! I-
Ray: Hey!! We did it!
[Laughter]
Micheal: [Bad Italian accent] We fucked him up good, bro!
Jack: [Singing] The Ace Of Spades!
Jack: [Singing] The Ace Of Spades!
[Gavin singing the instrumentals badly]
[Jack laughing]
Micheal: Good job, Geoff.
Ray: Way to go, Geoff.
Gavin: Tune into part two where-
Jack: Good job.
Geoff: I saved your life, Ray.
Ray: Yeah you did.
Gavin: Tune in for part two where I won't be there.
Jack: [Laughing] Yeah.
[Gavin laughing]
Jack: Woah! Woah! We are just destroying him!
Ray: [Laughing] That's the cover band!
Ray: Fuck yo boat!
Gavin: BYE LEMMY!
[Laughter]
Micheal: [Bad Italian accent] We fucked him up good, bro!
Jack: [Singing] The Ace Of Spades!
Jack: [Singing] The Ace Of Spades!
[Gavin singing the instrumentals badly]
[Jack laughing]
Ray: That's it.
Micheal: Look! We're moving on to the-
Gavin: Yeah!
Jack: Yeah.
Micheal: Whooo!
Ray: Who's your favourite member of Mortar- Ma- Mötorhead?
Gavin: Uh...
Jack: I like Mortarhead.
[Gavin laughing]
Gavin: Mortar!
Ray: [Laughing] That's the cover band!
Ray: There's people-
Micheal: Right now, bitch! Look at this!
Jack: Oh, there we go!
Ray: Alright, let's go, let's go.
Jack: Oh! shit! Mario!
Jack: Get up!
Micheal: Goddammit, Geoff!
Geoff: Nobody's gonna fall, there.
Micheal: We have to run ahead of Geoff to escape his wrath.
Micheal: We have to run ahead of Geoff to escape his wrath.
Ray: When do we get-
Ray: ...Geoff, you're blocking the path.
Micheal: Holy fucking shit.
Jack: Yeah, buddy!
[Everyone laughs]
[Laughter]
Ray: Oh! LLLLLLLLLLLLETS PLAY Super Mario Brothers... New, U!
Micheal: Because we have to because he's trying to murder us!
Jack: [Singing] shake, shake, shake, Senora. 
Ray: [Singing] Can you take me higher?
Geoff: Great!
Micheal: Dude, we tossed that level like a dirty salad.
