 
The Demon in the Glass

By Matthew Wildasin

Copyright 2013 Matthew Wildasin

Smashwords Edition

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### Table of Contents

Entry I

Entry II

Entry III

Entry IV

Entry V

Entry VI

Entry VII

Entry VIII

Entry IX

Entry X

Entry XI

Entry XII

Afterword

### The Demon in the Glass

### Diary of Timothy Holtz

### Entry I

March 12, 1926

On this day I am retelling a nightmare that has plagued me in nights past. Despite the length of time between this entry and the first dream, the hellish visions remain vivid. It is my hope that this transcript will either silence the monster, or help me to explain it. I remember the night when I first closed my eyes and was carried away to that realm of farces and truths, wherein I never thought that I could have imagined such collaboration of ghastly apparitions and horrifying endeavors. I have dreamt of something that no other man would fathom of.

Upon resting my head and casting myself into slumber, it began; the collage of thought cascading with light and color, culminating into the supernova of subconscious ideals. As the dream formed before me, the amber colors of a new day started to dawn.

Once well lit, my surroundings became more apparent; I could see that I was standing in a nautical town. I stood upon a cobbled street that twisted like a snake past a multitude of wooden houses, or cabins to better address them, situated on each side of the crude road. Each bared its own simplistic charm of novice construction ranging in all different sizes, some with small yards and others with sheds containing seafaring equipment.

Off in the distance the path slithered down toward a harbor. The harbor was adorned with multiple docks protruding out into the ocean like old arthritic fingers. The docks were grey with age as the last of their white veneer was wearing away. Anchored to the piers of the once sturdy walkways were numerous rusted vessels of gargantuan and minuscule proportions.

As I began taking everything in my dream progressed and I could begin to feel the warm rays of the sun gently caressing my skin. From the direction of the docks I could hear the piers and planks creaking from the churning water beneath. The ocean was but a calm rustle that played second to the song of birds and the somber howl of wind which spun within my ears.

"This seems almost real" I said to myself

With exuberance, I followed the path which lay before me down toward the distant docks. As I neared the coast I could begin to taste the salt in the air that carried in on the oceans chilly current.

Once at the pier I discovered a boardwalk that was hidden before; it veered right and followed the coastline. The sight of it was very inviting so I made the choice of trading the pebbles of the road for the sand-blasted wood of the boardwalk. The decision to take the boardwalk was very serene as I began listening to the melodic Zen of the ocean waves and the clacking of my shoes against its wood.

I walked for some time; in the distance I could see the boardwalk was nearing an end. The walk took a sharp left and stretched itself out over the sands of the beach like a peninsula. I followed its suggestion and nearing the end of the pier I came upon a black wrought iron bench and I decided to sit a spell.

The sheer beauty of the beach and ocean took my breath away. On either side of me I could see sparsely grass splotched sand dunes and clustered forests of palm trees. The coastline before me was littered with seaweed and shells scattered about as glistening ornaments. Passing my gaze to the waves I watched in awe of their fluid ballet; each one reaching a dark climax before violently crashing into an ivory avalanche of foam. The ocean was paired brilliantly with the copper palette of the ending day as it gave way to the dark reign of the night on the sky's shifting canvas. Once night arrived, diamonds began littering my heavens. The only audible sign of the ocean was the crashing of its waves in the blinding darkness.

Sitting here, alone, brought out my sense of fear and without the comforting light of the sun; my reasoning began to return to me. For the first time something had dawned on me. Despite all of the homes and signs of civilization, I had not seen one living person. The mere thought sent shivers down my spine, and brought paranoia to my mind.

My heart was beating so heavily that I could hear it thumping inside my head. Suddenly the waves became louder...almost deafening and the wind became a quickening menace. With every second the wind blew harder and the volume of the waves now made my ears ring.

"A hurricane" I thought to myself.

I paused, then screamed aloud

"HELP!!!...SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!"

Realistically I knew no one would come to my aid, but the panic in my mind rotted all notions of common sense.

I was frightened beyond the ability to move. Cowering down to my knees I wrapped my arms around my head and began to pray.

"Our Father who art in heaven...."

Suddenly the menacing storm became silent; in fact I could not hear a single sound at all.

I was still afraid but I had to see what was causing this. My arms were shaking terribly and I could only move them slowly. I gradually lifted them to unveil a sight that I could not explain.

Time appeared to stand still. The palm trees were bent over and suspended at their breaking points. The waves of the ocean remained in tall titans. Rain hovered, fixed within the air; each drop in its own frozen animation. Despite everything being held in its place, I could move, albeit barely, because I was in awe of all of this.

"HELP!!!" I tried to scream.

My scream produced no noise whatsoever.

Without any warning my head began to feel like it was under immense pressure. The pain was indescribable and I could feel the warmth of blood begin to trickle from my eyes.

Suddenly, something came from the depths bellow me...a sound...a voice unlike anything I had ever heard in my life. The voice was very deep with scratchy overtones and carried the haunting aura of a demon. It spoke only one word and the multitude of its voice, yet hidden and mysterious was gargantuan, for it shook the earth beneath my feet.

" _TIMOTHY_ " The voice said.

I was frozen and silent with fear. In the time that followed I heard nothing more from the disembodied voice. As I let more time pass I was able to collect myself and shook my feet free from their concrete.

I asked myself, "Did I imagine that?"

With the last word spoken a shocking revelation appeared to me. My breath was now visible in a place that moments ago was very humid and made me sweat profusely. The air had something more to it than just a chill... it carried a ghostly presence. I was overcome by uncertainty and the uneasy feeling of something watching me. This made my hair stand on end as my skin broke out with goose bumps.

I had to do something. I most certainly didn't want whatever it was calling my name to come for me. I made the decision to try to wake myself. First, I chose the most juvenile way possible by trying to pinch myself....nothing happened. Panic was overtaking me now so I acted on impulse and began screaming,

WAKE UP!!!!...WAKE UP!!!

Again nothing happened, now I was distraught for I was certain now that I was trapped here.

Having no other options left I decided the best action I could take was to collect my mind and begin to walk back toward the town.

Suddenly, as I was walking away with my back turned to the ocean, I began to feel a faint rumble beneath me. Panic filtered its way back inside me and I froze still. The rumble beneath me was gradually intensifying seemingly with every second that passed. Surprisingly, a sound in the distance broke free from the deafening silence.

**CRACK**!!!!

I began running down the boardwalk and back to the pebbled street. The raindrops littering the air slid past my face and broke into small puddles before once again anchoring themselves in mid air. With the earsplitting noise being my only clue, it was proving to be difficult to track down amongst all this interference.

**CRACK**!!!!

Again the noise came and this time I caught the culprit in the corner of my eye. With every quiver the ground made I could see the shacks in the village breaking into small pieces, each board or tile splitting into shards and hanging strewn about in the air.

The small frequent quivers had intensified; they were starting to mimic the form of a violent quake. It was no longer safe to go back into the town; I was now trapped out in the open.

With nowhere to turn and seemingly no means of an end, I fell to my knees. What should I do? What can I do? Nothing I had tried was working and everything around me was getting worse. I had no choice but to give up, so as I rocked myself on my knees I placed my face in my hands and began to cry.

Aloud I screamed, "STOP!"

All of a sudden, the roaring sound of wind rushed through the air, and the rain was set loose from its suspended animation and began to pour once more. The rain coupled with the rushing wind made it harder to clear my head and think.

The quake continued to ravage the shacks and everything surrounding me. Carrying on the gale force winds, was the shrapnel of the devastated village, which feel to the earth with the same intensity as the rain.

In my frightened state I began hastily searching around for a safe place to shelter myself. Something caught my eye protruding from the vista of the ocean. The night bowed to the object's might as a reddish aura pulsated around it, illuminating the entity as it rose. Its texture had the appearance of granite and was colored a depressing grey. It seemed as though the summit of a mountain was rising from seemingly nowhere.

I could not believe my eyes...how is this possible?

Unfortunately, I had no answer to this.

Knowing that I could do nothing was a heavy feeling that I was having trouble coping with. I wanted to pray because it was the only thing that I, or anyone, would have left to do.

I closed my eyes in an attempt to drown out the distractions around me and got to my knees. I then folded my hands and began my prayer.

"Dear Lord...please save me from this nightmare, make this demon go away. I am sorry my Lord for anything I have done that has upset you...please forgive me...Amen"

I could still hear the building behind me falling apart and the thunder of the waves crashing into the beach. I didn't even need to open my eyes again to know what was waiting for me but I was not about to remain blind to whatever was around me.

I slowly unfastened my eyelids and was taken away by what I was seeing. The mountain that I had witnessed rising before had grown to monumental size, dwarfing any rock face that I had ever seen by miles.

Witnessing such a sight brought an uneasy feeling to me and I was wishing that I could pray because it seemed to me that it was the only way out I had left.

I knelt down, folded my hands, and closed my eyes; however with all the destruction happening around me I was finding it hard to focus. Every thought of Our Father was paired with the loud cracks of the houses crashing behind me, and the howling wind mocked my every word. My idea of praying was becoming futile; with everything going on around me, I could not get a single cohesive sentence together.

So once more I opened my eyes to witness something more shocking than the time before.

The mountain now appeared to not be a mountain at all. The granite-like structure from before was disappearing into the darkness of the sky and reviled to me where it had received its glowing aura. The granite texture now met with what looked like copper shaded skin. The skin was badly torn and scarred and carried the façade of snake skin. From the numerous lacerations of its skin a crimson liquid with an amber accent of light poured. It looked as if lava was oozing from the monolith but it was a darker shade of red, much like blood.

As the substance poured down into the ocean, vast flumes of steam bellowed into the sky. With the aid of the raging ocean the liquid was swiftly making its way toward the shore line.

I could not move...I was paralyzed with fear.

" _Run!!! Run!! Damn you!!!_ "

I wish I could have followed my sound advice, but this time my brain did not win the battle over my cowardice.

The glowing plasma was now close enough that I could make out something about it that was even more disturbing. The rivers of blood appeared to be filled with something...something that looked like faces. They floated together in a hoarded cluster, thousands...perhaps even millions of faces helplessly drifted in the raging canal of damnation. Each face was soulless and had the expression of pure despair.

With everything that has been transpiring within the short time of this dream I could no longer shell my emotions. I began to sob uncontrollably, as I placed my face in my hands.

In the distance the mountain still rose, now with more tenacity than before, with the fiery glow from its liquid, it made this place appear to be a true hell. Again I asked myself

" _What can I do?_ "

I could not pray and I could not wake myself. I was trapped, and there was nothing I could do to escape. I had never felt so helpless in my life, and the only way out was something that I never had thought of doing before. I was silently wishing for any means of restitution to escape from this reverie whatever the cost was to be.

A loud crashing noise came from the east of me.

" _Should I look?...Do I really want to know what it is?_ "

I really didn't want to know what it was but of course my curiosity got the better of me.

Reluctantly I turned my sights to the east and, unbelievably, another structure like the one before it began to rise from the beyond. This one rose quite swiftly and it was soon joined by another two. The sky now glowed like fire and the crashing of waves was now accompanied by the sizzle of steam and the woeful noises of the lost souls that dwell within the ooze.

" _What the hell is this?_ "

I wanted to know but yet I also didn't want to know. Some things are just better left unanswered, and I had a feeling this was one of them.

With everything that was happening my stomach grew ill, so I cradled myself into a fetal position and did the only thing I could do: I turned my back to the maelstrom and decided to wait it out.

Much time had passed but finally the quake had subsided and the wind declined to a light breeze. This got my attention and I found the courage to stand on my feet once again. It was quiet save for one sound; something that I had heard before...

"Waterfalls?"

I turned my attention from the devastated town to the ocean. The four behemoths stood strong and obstructed my view of the night sky. Amazingly they played second attraction to what I was now seeing: the ocean was rapidly depleting itself.

"How it this happening?" I said aloud.

The rushing current was ripping the docks apart and pulling the mighty vessels from their anchored poles. The ships collided into one another making loud metallic crashing noises. The vessels that didn't sink from their violent collisions floated off into the sea toward the horizon, where I witnessed them disappear as if they fell off the edge of the world.

" _This is crazy...how is this possible?_ "

As the ocean continued to disappear, it left behind remnants of sea life. Fish, whales and other marine life were strewn about and gasping for life.

It is hard to tell when an animal is afraid or in pain but I could see it on all of them. Their dark eyes told me all I needed to know about how they were feeling. They were frightened and there was nothing that I could do for them.

Hell I couldn't even save myself. I was helpless.

In no time the ocean had completely depleted and transformed into a barren desert. The haunting calls of dying sea life were the only audible thing that I could hear, besides the eerie calm of the waterfalls.

I could no longer watch these animals suffer. I did all I could do for them; I turned my back to them.

Unfortunately for me this brought something else to my attention that I would rather had not seen.

I watched as the moon itself disappeared behind the ravaged palm trees and wreckage of the village. It grew darker than before as the last glow of moonlight faded off in the distance.

As the radiant substance began to fill the void of what was once the ocean, it became my only source of light.

" _This isn't right...the moon does not set, and even if it did, it wouldn't do it in the middle of the night!_ "

I knew that something unworldly was happening. I also knew that I would have to figure out what it was quickly in order to survive.

Other than the moon disappearing, I took notice to other subtle changes happening around me. The mountain like structures still remained, although now a thin coating of their blood painted the ocean floor.

The air was growing even colder than before and much thinner.

Breathing was becoming a labor, and I could feel a light headedness coming over me.

" _What the hell is going on?_ "

I began to shiver uncontrollably and lost function of my legs, I fell to the sand and broken remains of the village. An immense pressure started boring into my head and any sound around me became muffled and slower in pace.

" _I'm...suffocating..._ "

Everything felt as if it was going black and abysmal but as soon as it appeared the pain and labored breathing quickly subsided. It took me some time to regain myself, but eventually I made it back to my feet.

I could not give any reason to what had just happened to me. Hell I couldn't give any good reason for anything that was going on, other than it was all a nightmare... a nightmare with real pain and real emotions.

The crimson ocean rose to a more normal depth. The faces washed up the shore along with the tides.

I could not imagine a more hopeless fate than that of the faces. Forever to remain in a purgatory of sorts but one that resides only in nightmares. My heart sunk for these lonely souls as I watched them, jumbled together, following the lead of the ocean current. Their eyes were hazed over with blindness and their skin was white as ash. Each face spoke to me without words. I could see the lament that they each shared.

Then, without any sort of warning, a piercing yellow light began to sheen unto the surface of the crimson ocean.

I was overcome with a horrible sense of being watched, I could feel the gaze from whatever it was studying me. Knowing it was there was burning an itch in me to turn around. It was close enough so that I could feel a heat coming off from it.

I could stand it no longer.

Quickly I spun around and was taken away by what tower before me; I stood staring into a gargantuan eye not but twenty feet from me. The eye was a blinding hue of yellow, wide upon all sides, and dwarfing me by fathoms. Paralyzed by this, I stood staring into the negative void of its shadowy pupil.

The eye moved several feet away from me and the cowl of its pupil gave way to the blinding amber of the eye that scorched my corneas. Once I was able to adjust to the irritating glow of the eye I could now see every detail of this anomaly and was frightened by the sheer malice that dwelled within its yellow pigment. The eye was plagued with pulsating veins that had thorn-like protrusions coming from them. The pulsing veins seemed to be matching in sync with my every breath.

Suddenly the eye swiftly moved away from me, unveiling something that was much more ominous. As it carried itself away I could see that it was just one of hundreds of eyes that all looked nearly identical. Each was attached to a tentacle-like appendage, and swarmed in a giant mass, all twitching and suspended high in the sky. The skin of the appendages was copper in color and bared the familiar texture of snake, much like that of the monoliths.

In a fever pitch I began thinking back to all of the past events that took place. I was beginning to see that I was in much more of a dilemma than I had originally thought.

"Those...aren't mountains...they're..."

I then heard a loud slithering sound and turned my attention back toward the cloud of eyes. They were on the move once again; however this time it seemed like they were retreating back toward something that appeared to harbor them. The cloud of eyes and tentacles was slowly dwindling as each one moved back to the crevice from whence it came.

" _OH MY GOD!!!_ "

Towering before me was a figure of unimaginable proportions. I could not believe my eyes. This...thing was absolutely revolting in appearance despite its overall lack of anatomical features.

As the remainder of the eyes made their way back into the head of this abominable creature, I focused my attention toward its morbid elegance.

The beasts face, or lack thereof was the most striking façade present. Below the cavernous cavities that housed its many eyes resided a pair of deep gouged gills. From these gills poured large dense clouds of smoldering ash that disappeared into the darkened sky. I could see something protruding beneath the clouds of ash.

" _What the hell are they?_ "

Thousands of protrusions seemed to reside below the creature's nasal cavity. They looked liked spider legs; each one of them covered in hair and twitching and feeling around blindly in a disgusting display.

The feelers roofed a gaping void that I could only assume to be the abomination's mouth, the most horrid feature of its face. All four corners of it were a stretched out layer of skin and muscle, with an enormous fang at each corner. I could see that when the mouth was open it housed rows and rows of serrated triangular teeth. When the mouth would close from time to time the orifice would be sealed shut by something that looked like the sharp beak of a squid.

The beast's head perched upon a large vein covered neck. The neck was emerald in color and was a thick mass of bone and muscle. The veins looked to be almost like a mass of thorny vines that wrapped their way up its neck like a tightly coiled spring.

The emerald shade of the neck gave way to the colossal scarlet-colored musculature of the monsters shoulder and chest area. Large clusters of bone shaded spikes protruded from both of the beast's shoulders. From each shoulder, I noticed a large gathering of thorny veins that ran toward the center of its chest, like a mass of wires. Centered in the monster's chest was an exposed heart. It sat there pulsing in a rhythmic matter, covered in a slimy liquid. Both the heart and the liquid were colored like tar. The only thing that was protecting the heart was a cage of bones that broke free from under its skin.

I could not believe what I was seeing. The sheer sight of this creature made me want to vomit. From the first time I saw this creature my head began throbbing in pain. I was sure that I was going to die because behind me was a glowing ocean of faces I could not swim in...

" _Wait a minute...those mountains...they're..._ "

Those were its fingers I came to regretfully realize.

That's when a lot of this began to make sense. The sound of waterfalls, the air becoming frigid and thin, the moon disappearing... This thing was raising this whole world along with myself high into wherever I was.

" _There is no way out now_ "

I had thought this before but knowing it was true made it even more of a hopeless feeling. The only thing I could do was watch in horror as this thing destroyed everything around me.

Suddenly I heard footsteps in the sand behind me. They were not distant, in fact, they were very close.

" _OH GOD... DON'T LOOK! DON'T LOOK!_ "

With everything that I had been seeing I was too frightened to move.

The pace of my breathing quickened and my chest became tight with pain. My head was pounding so hard that I could hear it inside my ears.

Closer and closer the footsteps came...until they silenced right behind me.

I could hear a gargled breathing. Without haste, on each shoulder blade, I felt hands being placed and nails digging into my skin. The pain was terrible, but I was too frightened to make a noise. I felt the hands thrust deep into me, and before I could make a sound, I was being thrown toward the ocean of blood and faces.

Before I landed into the ocean, I jerked awake from my sleep. My head was still throbbing and my back felt as if it was torn open. I was profusely sweating, despite being pale and shivering. Regardless of the way I was feeling, I was glad that the nightmare was over, and hopefully I won't visit it again.

### Entry II

March 14, 1926

Much to my chagrin the past couple of days have been restless, not that I have been welcoming the idea of sleep, for I fear it. I have only been able to get in a few minutes at a time before I subconsciously awaken, afraid of coming face to face with the beast once more. The post night of the mare I was in and out of sleep for most of the night and by the time morning came I welcomed it so.

During the night every time I would close my eyes I would see those faces; the faces that were so helpless floating around in a pool of their own demise. The faces were enough to jerk me from slumber.

Every time I would drift off to sleep, I would see them more vividly. Their horribly disfigured faces and hazy blind eyes would just stare at me, as if they were trying to discover my soul. Each time I would wake my heart would fill more and more with guilt. I could do nothing to help for I was as helpless as they are... and yet, I think that is how they want me to be. They want me to be helpless because I think they wish for me to join them...why else would they continue to haunt me so?

With the day smoldering out the last of its lustrous embers night is upon me once more. I stood lumbering before my bathroom mirror, staring blankly into it. As the moments passed my reflection began to distort and the room behind began to ooze with glowing red blood. I stared in horror as my face became a pale white and my eyes sunk back into my head. My face then began slowly drifting away back into the bloody walls of the reflection. I could see my lips mutter something:

"... Help..."

In shock I quickly screamed,

"NO"

I reached out toward the mirror, but it was too late; my face had sunk into the blood and drifted away into nothingness. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

I brought my hand up to my face and began rubbing my eyes and as I looked back it was all gone. Everything was normal but I felt sick, I felt empty like something was missing but I couldn't quite figure out what. My stomach became nauseous and I moved myself to the toilet where I proceeded to throw up.

"What is happening to me?" I asked aloud

I then returned to the mirror and was horrified to see that I had changed. My young youthful skin had turned to a powder tone, portions of my hair were graying and the vivid blue of my eyes had hazed over.

I could not believe what had happened. But without sleep I was becoming weaker and weaker, unable to do anything about it.

I cannot let people see me like this. No one would understand. What would I tell them, anyway? I have decided that it would be best to stay here in my home for now. Between the dreams I had and now this, I am growing more and more depressed.

I felt as if, in the dream, I had no way out, and it seems to be finding me here in the real world.

I fear it will be only a matter of time before it does come for me but do I really want to wait for it?

Over the past day or so I have been wishing for it to come for me because it seems like my only way out of this. I cannot stop the visions on my own so perhaps I will let the demon do it for me.

The night has now come upon me once again, and I find myself more tired than I have ever been in my life.

Tonight I want it all to end. Tonight I want it to take me away.

Ironic, I keep a bible on my night stand and believe everything it tells me but yet I feel this way. For these feelings I damn the heavens and its God, for why would He let something like this happen to one of his believers? He of no imperfection has failed me time and time again in my life and now more so than ever.

" _Perhaps I deserve this?_ "

Maybe I do...I...couldn't stop it...I...couldn't save her.

I no longer wish to be in this world, I hope this monster takes me away. I need to go away.

### Entry III

March 15,1926

I had revisited my lurid reverie last night and much to my dismay I remain alive to tell the tale. Last night's mare was truly vile and had morphed into even more of a hellish void.

I shall elucidate:

From the lack of sleep in the past few days, slumber came quickly to me once I shut my eyes. The transition hastened and, before I knew it, I could feel an immense force of wind against my body. As I began to open my eyes and my vision became sharper and I came to a horrid discovery. I was falling deep within an abyss; the cold air was suffocating me as I plummeted.

The walls of this chasm appeared to be saturated in a substance that resembled oil and tar. The tar was covering enormous sections of bones that appeared to once belong to creatures of unknown worlds. The bones were stained grey from the dripping oil and had patchy spots of skin stretched across them like canvas.

My descent continued and I could see that the veneer of the walls changing. In the distance something was steadily approaching me, I could see something that looked like a huge mass of waving black grain. As I came closer to the coating of grain, I quickly realized that assumption as anything but. The "grain" was more like arms; millions of them. The arms carried human characteristics except that their size dwarfed human appendages by meters. The tar like substance drenched them and was dripping from curved talon like claws that jutted from their finger tips. Despite their intimidating size I remained out of their grasp as each one of them hopelessly reach out for me as I passed.

My decent continued and as it did I encountered something that was disturbing the flow of the overhanging arms. I could see a creature; something that I am sure has no genus in the world I come from. As I noticed this monstrosity, it had sensed me as well. A small pack of three of them decided to chase after me down the pit. The monsters were easily able to follow my speed, even though they were confined to the walls and had to navigate through the fields of arms.

These beings were very grotesque, but also carried familiar characteristics. They presented the familiar look of canines, but that was merely a façade. The creatures had a hunched posture and paced on all fours. The skin of their hind and front legs looked almost human in color and nearly devoid of hair. Unlike humans, however, its hands were an odd portrayal of talons; they were constructed of four front toes and one large hook-shaped claw angled off the back of the limb. The Caucasian color carried its way to the paws and then disappeared into the midnight shade of the claws.

The creatures back hair was a disheveled mess of thick grey matted mane that thinned once it reached the perimeter of its appendages. Breaking free from the forest of hair was the creature's spine. It took a serpentine appearance as it rose from the monsters skin before disappearing once again into the masking hair. Each vertebra that emerged displayed a violent array of sharp bone.

I followed the trail of its spine down toward the beast's cranium. Once I focused on the visage of the demon I could see that sunken deep within its face rested the apertures devoid of eyes.

" _It's blind... but how can it sense me?_ "

I was very ignorant to something else unique about the beasts face. Its snout displayed a cunning talent. The snout of the monsters was working over-time and I could see them switch back and forth from me to the arms and then back to me. Each one of them that was following me was able to pick up on my scent and was able to differentiate my smell from anything else around them.

" _Impressive..._ "

I could see that some of the other abominations were going about a mindless task of harvesting the arms that sprouted from the walls. The reason for them doing this I cared not, but if I was to hazard a guess, I would assume it was for the giant demon that reigned bellow.

Then something else drew my attention from the hounds chasing me; the temperature of the air was changing from its frigidness to a much warmer climate. The strong scent of rotting eggs and burnt flesh raped my nostrils and made me feel nauseous.

The heat continued to intensify as it began to scold my skin and cinder my clothes to ash. I was falling closer to something off in the distance and it seemed that my descent was about to abruptly end. I could see off in the visible mile ahead of me that I was soon approaching a horde of musculature covered in the tar-like liquid that oozed from above. The muscular exterior was convulsing in a sickening display around a center point that had the proverbial appearance of an anus.

I then recalled something that I was told once growing up: I was told that in dreams if you fall from a great height and die, you will then die in real life. My mind was clouded with panic as the heat grew and sweat poured from me in squalls.

" _This is it,_ " I said to myself. " _I only wish I had no regrets_ "

My heart was pounding immensely as I was helplessly falling.

" _Finally it ends._ "

I wanted to die in prior days, and now I was relieved that it was finally going to end. I relaxed my body and welcomed the scorching hot air and the narrowing end of the chasm. I closed my eyes and breathed in the smell of rotten eggs. I could almost taste the heat and the stench in my mouth. For the first time the revolting nature of this place seemed sweet.

It began.

The first appendage to meet the foundation was my left hand, which ravaged my wrist as it folded under the rest of my body. I could feel the indescribable pain and a hail of screams ruptured from my mouth.

This time, ironically, I jolted awake screaming in pain as a feverish heat bellowed from my wrist all the way up the left side of my body. I was amazed that it was not broken and I had a full range of motion, but I will have to live through the pain of it all.

I reached up to wipe the sweat from my brow and came to discover that my graying hair had become thinner and was starting to bald.

" _What...how?_ "

I sluggishly made my way to my bathroom and stood in front of the mirror once more. The grey of my eyes had now hazed over with the white clouds of blindness. I could not handle this anymore, I wanted to die but that demon, or maybe God, wouldn't let me. I raised my right hand into the air making a fist and shaking it angrily.

"IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?!...YOU WANT ME TO SUFFER?!" I screamed

I don't know why I even asked, I know they wanted me to suffer, they want to see tears streaming from my ghost-like eyes. After all, I suppose, I kind of deserve this. All I can do now is just wait here in my pain and agony for night to come once more.

### Entry IV

March 18, 1926

The past couple of days nothing has happened, I was still too weak to leave my home, and too frightened to as well. To my surprise, or dismay, the past couple of nights have brought me slumber without any signs of the nightmare.

It seems that within the days of my absence, acquaintances of mine in the outside world have begun to wonder what had happened to me. Around mid-afternoon a loud barrage of knocks arrived at my front door.

"Timothy!!!...Its officer Harrison!" He stated.

I still lay in my bed with little strength to get up, but I knew that this might have been my only chance to escape this lunacy. I pushed myself up to my knees and crawled my way to the edge of my bed. Unfortunately for me, I did not have enough power to bring myself to stand. I soon found myself face first on the hard wooden floors of my house.

For the first time ever I was cursing the white color of my walls, for the sunlight radiating off of them blinded my weakening eyes. All I could do was shield them with one hand as I pulled myself along the floor toward the living room. Luckily for me my home was more or less the size of a flat and my living room was connected to the bedroom.

"HELP!!! HELP!!!" I screamed

Now I met with the scattered area rugs of my living room as I continued to pull myself along at a slug's pace. The floors were plagued with dust and random dirt that rubbed against my face as I continued to pull myself along. I could see that my home was becoming infested with ants that were attracted to the rotting food I had left out from nights' past.

None of this mattered to me now only one thing did.

" _I have to get to the door. He won't stand there knocking forever_ "

My breathing was becoming labored from the crawling and screaming. Every time I would breathe deep I would inhale small amounts of dirt, which was making choke. My breathing was already laboring as it was because of my weakness and screams for help. Sadly I realized that I would have to remain silent in order to have enough strength to make it to the door.

KNOCK...KNOCK..."Timothy, please answer the door...its officer Harrison are you alright?"

I was almost to the door. My heart was pounding and sweat was pouring from my face. I was approaching the edge of my living room. All that stood in my way was one more wall that led into a foyer to the front door. I was nearing the edge of the corner far enough that I could begin to see around it.

What I was seeing was unbelievable; my front door was gone, or more accurately, it had turned translucent like glass. Officer Harrison was completely visible to me; everything from his cobalt blue uniform and reddish mustache. His uniform was quite plain and bore only his badge which to me said that he was just a beat cop. Harrison stood there knocking at the door, looking right at me but seeing nothing of me.

"IMPOSSIBLE!" I screamed out in tears

I crawled to what was my door, seemingly groveling at the officer's feet. Only a few inches from me was my salvation that I could see clear as day but was miles away from my reach. Using what strength I had, I pounded on the door with my wrinkled pale hands, all the while watching the officer make his last attempts at knocking.

Harrison pulled out his note pad and began making some notes as he started walking back to his squad car.

I could not believe this; I could see everything beyond this door, while all that the officer could see was an ash-colored oak door with a peep hole and no signs of life on the other side.

### Entry V

March 20, 1926

The nightmare has still remained at bay and with the last couple of nights.

With the past eves giving me sleep, I am feeling more animated and able to move without crawling; however I am still trapped in my home...or prison, which it has now become. I am certain that I am going to die in this place or soon return on night to my nightmare. Realizing this, I feel that I should give some detail of my background, for I have kept a lot of it secret.

It is my hope that someone will find this diary and one day my secrets will be revealed along with the details of my endeavor. I feel as if I should start from the beginning so whoever finds this will understand everything that has led to my demise.

I was raised Catholic and regardless of being taught this from childhood, I had loosely decided to base my life on its teachings. To me, God is a greater power, but possibly not the one and only God that materialized everything that we take so easily for granted. With what I have witnessed in the past couple of days I am finding my suspicions to be factual. If I was to blame something for the way I view religion I would have to blame my father. Since the younger years of my life he pounded the ideals of worshipping God down my throat; little did he know that doing this would only push me farther away from his propaganda. This is not to say that I don't believe there is something watching over us, even if they seem to leave you behind in times of dire need. The issue of God was only the start of the rebellions in my life.

At the age of sixteen my parents had separated; they would tell me that it wasn't my fault but I could not help but feel that I was the center of it all. Every time they would fight I would hear them fighting about me. My father wanted me to a disciplinary school even though I was not a disobedient child compared to some. He would say that it would raise me right that it would teach me discipline. Mother, on the other hand, opposed to the matter because she wanted me to be raised at home and not away at a school. This argument kept going on for some time and eventually the debates became physical with my mother getting the brunt of the attacks. My mother couldn't stand it any longer, so one night she snuck into my room and began packing some bags.

To this day I remember her waking me up in the middle of the night.

"I am leaving. If you want to come with me I packed you a few things. If you're not coming that's your choice. I can't take this any longer," she said to me

That night was the last time I was to ever see my old home again. I never revisited it nor do I wish to.

My mother and I moved into an apartment in the city. It was not much of anything special, but it was enough to call home.

I never really knew how my mother was able to pay for our independence. It certainly did not come from my father. All I can say is that I spent a lot of nights alone with my books reading and studying. Now in my more mature age I could hazard a guess as to what my mother was doing, but I would rather leave it to ignorance and just forget about it entirely.

Years had passed and everything went on as normal as it could for a child with no father. I grew up, had friends, got into fights, and discovered girls.

Oh what years those were when I grew fond of girls. It brought heartbreak along the way, sure, but I always swore I would treat them well and not like my father treated my mother.

Funny how goals change as your grow older and start focusing on different things. You begin to lose sight of those simplistic goals you had as a child or teen and you grow up and start worrying over everything.

I can still remember when I first started worrying; it was in college. I was nearing the final semester and exams were rearing their ugly head. I was studying to be a psychology major and if exams were not pressure enough, I had my eye on the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.

Her name was Janice Newsted. She wasn't attending school there but I got to see her every day. Janice was volunteering in the school cafeteria and, needless to say, lunch was my favorite class. I had never spoken to her before I just admired her from afar for four whole years.

The only things I would say were "Hi" or "Hello" and then tell her what it was that I wanted to eat from the choices they provided. I was worrying then that I was running out of time; I needed to say something to her, I wanted to tell her how I felt about her. I still remember what I first had said to her:

"Hi my name is Janice...I mean... your name is Janice..."

I will never forget her laugh and the smile she gave me. It was like she knew all along and was just waiting for me to come along and act the fool.

"Well hi there Janice. My name is Janice pleased to meet you" She said

I remember the flush feeling on my face and my mind racing to find something to reply with.

"How about we meet in the school parking lot around 6, I could go for a burger and a shake," Janice said

I stumbled on my words all the while nodding yes and not even knowing it.

We went out on our date, and then another, and then another, until one day I found myself down on one knee and she said "yes".

Everything was looking great for us, I graduated with my degree and got a well paying job to support us and any children we would wish to have.

We bought our first house; it was what Janice was calling our "New Beginnings".

We were a happy couple...at least for the first couple of years and then things started to change. I blame myself for it because I grew more distant and immersed in my work and gave little attention to her. Janice tried as well as she could to hold her composure but it wasn't long until we began fighting over every little thing that could be fought over.

I began going to seminars at my old college to keep up with my studies leaving her home alone. This brought on more arguments. It became a hindrance to be at home because I would get questioned about everything I was doing. Truthfully, I suspected her of thinking I was being unfaithful to her. Sometimes, I will admit, the thought crossed my mind. Terrible, how that seems now reliving the memories of first seeing her and first getting to be near her.

It was my greed and deafness to her needs that lead to the darkest moment of my life.

I remember it well: it was an unusually humid April night and one of my seminars was going on at the college. I wanted to go naturally, but Janice wanted me to stay home because the weather that night was going to be "unpleasant" as she put it. I saw this as a poor excuse to just keep me home and do what? Nothing, that's what, I could take it no more with the constant gripes with my pursuit of education. Besides it was my education that got us this house and all the nice things she could ever want...I earned the right to do this! So despite her arguing I left anyway. The college was a brief five minute drive so I decided to walk, regardless of what the weather was going to do.

I got to the seminar just fine, but when it was over the weather outside did indeed take a turn for the worse. Without having any way to shelter myself from the elements, I had no other choice than to go back inside and call my wife to pick me up. We argued back and forth for a few minutes, her scolding me for going and when she said that this was going to happen and me telling her to be quiet and just come and get me. Janice didn't like the idea of coming out but deep down inside I knew she didn't want to leave me out here alone.

"I will be right over...just don't say I didn't tell you so."

She hung up before I could say anything in return.

With that out of the way, I gathered my things along with my pride and stood outside underneath the walkway's awning. The humid air had turned into a bone-rattling chill, and the rain poured as if it was a waterfall.

Ten minutes had passed, I thought nothing of it. She normally takes a long time to get moving

" _She will probably be here any minute now_ " I thought

The longer I waited the worse the storm became and so did my worry. I kept consoling myself that there was nothing to fear.

" _It's only a five minute drive, nothing bad could happen...just relax_ "

Ten minutes became fifteen minutes, then twenty.

" _Something is wrong...something has to be wrong_ "

I could not wait any longer. I dropped all my bags and went off sprinting into the cold wind and chilling rain of the night.

I followed the normal roads back towards what we called our home...our "New Beginnings".

My heart was racing. Every horrid thought imaginable was rushing through my mind. I kept on running around every curve, through every intersection...until I came upon the beginning of our end.

The sky was ablaze with red and blue rotating lights that eerily hazed the darkened night sky. A sinking feeling came over me; my heart felt as if it stopped beating and my throat burned with acid. As I neared the squad cars surrounding the accident I could see the shrapnel of cars littering the road. As I got closer to the crash site an officer approached me.

"Please sir you have to stay back....Oh God Tim...I... I..."

It was Officer Bartlett. His first name was George. We went to high school together. His face was as pale as a ghost and, if it wasn't pouring rain, he would have been sweating.

I said nothing to him I just pushed my way past him into the center of the commotion.

There it was; my worst fear displayed right before my eyes. Janice lay on the ground pinned under our small blue Ford. There she lay alone on the cold damp asphalt, her blood pooling around her. I couldn't do anything for her, all our time spent together just gone in a flash. I fell down on my knees, screaming into the air as the rain filtered into my mouth.

"Tim...I...I'm so sorry." I can't even pretend to know what you're going through" Bartlett said

I crawled over to my wife, sobbing uncontrollably. Her eyes were still open, like she was still looking at me

"I'm sorry honey...I should have listened to you. I shouldn't have kept leaving you alone...Please forgive me."

I gave my wife one last kiss on her forehead before I picked myself up from the blood ridden ground. Bartlett placed his hand on my shoulder and walked me over to his car. We sat inside his car silent for a couple of minutes until I asked him

"How did this happen?"

Bartlett shifted his body back to look at me.

"Are you sure you want to know?"

I didn't say anything I just stared blankly ahead and nodded.

"Ok...well from what we could suspect she was swerving to miss a deer that was on the road and because of the rain she hydroplaned. It then appears that she went through the windshield as the car proceeded to roll onto her."

I said nothing to him...I didn't know what to say. What do you say when you life partner has died from something you had caused? All I know is that I didn't get to say goodbye and the last thing we ever did was argue.

It would seem that she told me so.

Later on in the week I was phoned by the coroner that performed her autopsy. He was very nice on the phone; he told me his name was John. The formalities ended there.

"Timothy...I am afraid I have some unsettling news for you"

"...What is it doc?"

John coughed a few times to clear his throat or to gain him some time to word what he was going to tell me, which one I do not know.

"Well...there is no easy way to say this, so I will get to the point. Your wife was with child during the accident"

All I could hear was those words

"... with child."

I remember not saying anything to the doctor and just hanging up the phone. Those words stabbed me in the heart. I couldn't believe this I didn't know what to think. Is this a cruel game that God is playing on me...is this just a nightmare?

"Why didn't she tell me" I asked myself

I was playing a fool; I knew why. She came second to my stupid studies and I never gave her the attention that she deserved. She probably thought that if she said she was pregnant that I would think it was a ruse to keep me home more often. I can't lie; I probably would have thought that then. I only wish I could take everything back and have treated it like I swore I would in my teen years.

Worrying got the worst of me, I worried about not being the smartest, I worried about the money and I worried about my reputation. I should have been worrying about her... and now it is too late.

"I wish I could take it all back...I wish you weren't dead" I said

The memories of that night were too much for me to bear. Everything in our home reminded me of her, or something I did to mistreat her. Not long after the accident I moved into the flat I currently reside in. I am not deserving of the life that we once shared. I now will remain alone in my own downpour... just as I had left my love.

### Entry VI

March 21, 1926

Midnight had arrived without haste and before I had planned my next move. I could just end it all now by my own hands, but I don't have the gall to do such a thing...no I would have to let "It" do the job for me. Now the quarrel resides in my fear; the fear of not knowing what is next. If I fall asleep and journey to that place...where in it will I be? The last time I was in a dark pit filled with demons' falling to my death.

" _What if I am already dead in my dreams?...What if I am dead here?_ "

The shocking thought of this made my heart beat faster and an acidic feeling rushed into my extremities.

Then again I have no perception of what the "real" world is anymore. I had never expected that in the real world my front door would become a glass prison gate. The sheer volume of questions and reason are far too much for my mind bear. For now I must focus on what my next move is.

As the hours were dwindling into the early morning, I decided that I had to return, not just to hopefully end my life but also to find the answers to these questions I have buzzing around in my head. Curiosity certainly is a killer and in my case it is no exception. I had made up my mind; the only thing left to do was sleep. An hour or so must have passed before I had successfully fallen asleep.

This time I had traveled to something, but where I was I did not know. In this darkness I lay constricted with my hands placed on my chest and my legs straight in front of me. My surroundings were radiating with a desert-like heat. I could smell something familiar:

"... _Rotten eggs?_ " I thought to myself

Yes, that is what it was. It was unmistakable. The rancid smell was married with the odor of burning flesh as well, just like before.

" _I'm back_ " I thought to myself

I could feel something pooling on my hands and covering my back side. It was a thick, heavy fluid; I had seen a liquid like this once before too...when I was falling down the pit.

That's when it came to me:

" _I am inside the pit of muscles I fell into before_ "

At least this was the only logical reasoning that I could think of. I was not claustrophobic but I could sense myself becoming overwhelmed by the closed quarters. My mind was racing with delusional thoughts of escaping but I knew this to be a worthless effort. My only goal was to try and keep my sanity, I may have wanted to die but I don't want to go like this.

I have no idea how much time had passed while I rotted away in this cocoon. The only indication that I had came from the throbbing pain that was growing in my joints; a sure sign that I haven't been able to move for quite some time. My back was also becoming plagued with bed sores and wrinkling terribly because of being submerged in the filth.

" _Why did I come back here? What did I think I was going to accomplish?_ "

I really did not know; all I knew was that I wanted to know the answers. I wanted to know what the hell that..."thing" was and why everything was happening to me. Funny, how someone with a death wish can still cling to life just to answer a few silly questions. Still, I had to know; this now took precedence over my selfish quest of ending my life.

Hours had past...hell they could have been days for all I could tell. The darkness of this tomb was starting to play tricks with me.

" _Do you REALLY think that you will get out this alive after what YOU had done?_ " A strange voice said

This is the first time in my life that I had ever heard voices. The voice had a high-pitched squeal that peaked when it over enunciated certain words. It also had an eerie scratchy overtone to it that sounded as if it could break into a menacing laughter at any moment. This being the first time this had ever happen, I decided to remain silent in hopes that this would refrain the voice from returning. Sadly for me this was not the case.

" _They trusted you...and what did you do... YOU KILLED THEM!!!_ "

"NO!!! I DIDN"T KILL HER!!! I WOULD NEVER DO THAT!" I screamed

I was sweating profusely and now from the voice and my screaming my head was pounding.

"... _HAHAHA...OH struck a nerve did I?... HAHAHA!!!_ "

Its laughter was unbearable and it rang in my head like the echoing chime of a church bell.

I remained silent I didn't want to acknowledge anything that...whatever it was saying.

"Let it think what it wants to think. I know the truth and that's what's important...Why am I convincing myself about this?" I thought to myself

" _HAHAHAHA.... It's kind of funny when you think about it, the smart book worm arguing with the shadows...HAHAHA!!!_ "

Its laughter kept ringing and it wouldn't stop. I was beginning to feel woozy from my splitting headache and from all the sweating I was doing. I could take it no longer.

"SHUT UP!!!!" I screamed

Thankfully, the laughter dimmed and then grew silent. It was at this time that I knew I had to find a way out of this cocoon or else I would certainly fall prey to madness.

With a great anger building inside of me, I started trying to move my legs. At first it seemed useless, but the more that I struggled the looser the surrounding walls of the cocoon appeared to get. Despite the pain in my joints I kept squirming until I was soon able to bend my knees, enough so that I could begin kicking.

As I continued my assault on the womb, something brought a glimpse of joy to my eyes. The walls were stretching thinner and I could start to see light breaking in through the darkness

"Thank God I am not blind," I said aloud

Realizing this brought a hardy feeling of glee to my soul and for once in some time I felt empowered. With this feeling coming over me I began trying to break my arms free. Fortunately for me this was a tad bit easier because my legs did the brunt of the work. Within seconds my arms were free. The pain in my elbows was unimaginable but I fought through it and continued my fight for freedom.

I kept struggling for some time, kicking and now tearing away at the cocoon as good as my weakened state would allow. As the light broke through the walls I could see that I was naked and covered in the black tar. This came as a shock to me and I really had no idea as to the reason for such a thing to happen.

" _Maybe my clothes completely burnt up in the fall?_ " I thought

This was possible but not concrete; however it was good enough for me to put my worries aside and continue my breaching. As the walls thinned, the heat grew to a magnitude I never thought possible. It felt as if it would be charring my very flesh but the goo I was covered in seemed to be protecting from this.

" _Does that monster want me alive for some reason? What would it want with me?_ "

Before I could continue questioning it any further the walls of the cocoon gave way. I began sliding out from the hole my kicking provided. Despite wanting to escape the rapid sudden movements frightened me and I was grabbing for anything I could to slow me.

Closer and closer to the opening I got. Once I neared it I could see that I was being suspended thousands of feet in the air. My heart was pounding and I frantically started flailing my hands in a final attempt to grab onto something. I managed to grab hold of a strand of the broken sack. In my frantic state I hastily was looking around for something to aid me. What I discovered made me feel ill to my stomach.

The hole that I had fallen out of was one of millions of them. They were scattered about in no discernible pattern, littering what appeared to be the fire colored sky. Each hole had its own black cocoon that was suspended at its opening.

" _What the hell?_ " I thought to myself

I tried to keep my calm and continued to look for something else to grab hold of but unfortunately for me the strand of membrane I was holding was starting to stretch to a breaking point. My stomach was churning with fear which brought a weakness to my arms. I knew that it was only a matter of time until I would begin falling again.

" _Don't look down...whatever you do don't look down_ " I said to myself

Regardless of my better judgment, my morbid curiosity got the best of me and I took a glance downward. I was overcome to see that below me remained the exact ocean front from the first nightmare. It seemed to be untouched almost like nothing had ever happened to it. I couldn't think of any reason to describe what was going on.

"How the hell?..."

Before I could say anything else the strand I was holding onto ripped from the sack and I began falling. I was flapping my arms and kicking my legs all about in a futile rhythm of movements. As I fell, I could hear the fire in the sky swirling past me; its heat running into my open mouth as I screamed.

"HELP ME!!! HELP!!!"

Faster and faster I fell. I could feel my skin stretching as the air's velocity increased against my body.

As my inevitable end was nearing, I began to see my past go by in a flurry of flashes. Unfortunately for me, my past was something of which I wish I could not relive. I could see my childhood fears of my father beating my mother. Then a white flash transitioned to the next memory; the night my mother left my father. Then there was another flash followed by the memories of being bullied in school for not having both parents.

One after another I was reminded of how bad things were for me, until finally the last white flash. The white flash froze and hung like an opaque fog. I could see a figure of someone in the distance. It was walking toward me with its arms open wide. I breathed in and for an instant I could smell something that brought tears to my eyes.

"... _Roses?_ " I thought

I started to weep heavily because I remembered what that smell reminded me of.

"Janice?" I said aloud

The fog diminished revealing the stranger therein. Before me stood the most beautiful thing that I had ever seen in my life; Janice was standing in front of me wearing her wedding dress and holding a bouquet of roses...her favorite flower. She looked glorious, just as she did on our wedding day. For a second in this moment my heart skipped like it did when I first met her.

"Timothy...Timothy..."

I was choking on my tears and stumbling over my thoughts. I had so many things that I wanted to say and not one single word of it would form a sentence.

"Timothy what have you done?...it wasn't suppose to go this way"

"What?...What are you talking about?" I asked her

Janice grew an angry look on her face and the tone of her voice rose and started to sound like a wailing banshee.

"YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO HAVE YOUR WAY DON'T YOU? WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST LET THINGS GO AS PLANNED?!"

I had a dumbfounded look on my face and the sound of her voice was breaking my heart. My nose was running all the while tears uncontrollably flowed from my eyes. The heavenly look she possessed had churned into a nightmarish incantation of itself. Janice's skin started to melt from her body as her radiant wedding dress burst into flames. She began screaming something as she ran towards me and grabbed my face with her melting hands.

"DO AS YOUR TOLD JUST THIS ONCE...IF YOU'RE TRULY SORRY DO THIS FOR ME!!"

I watched as her beautiful face began to drip into a white void. I was reaching out to her trying to stop her from being taken from me once again. Her dress had smoldered away as her wedding ring fell from her now skeletal fingers. She was leaving me again and like before it was all my fault; there was nothing I could do to stop it. I had to say something to her...I had to tell her what I should have told her a long time ago.

"Janice...I love you so much and nothing I could ever say or do will ever show how sorry I am for what had happen. I just wish that you could forgive me so that someday...somehow I could make it up to you."

Janice stood there for a moment not saying anything as the last of her skin dripped off her body. The once beautiful women I fell in love with was now a ghost of her former self. The last of her humanity was her aquamarine eyes which were now taking on a familiar haze of grey. Despite her now decomposed appearance, I could see that my words had touched some sort of compassion.

"I had always loved you, Tim, no matter what was said or what we did. If you want to make this up to me you must give in to the darkness. I am sorry that it will have to end this way...I love you"

Before I could say anything, Janice's body blew away into a cloud of ash.

"NO...NO, GOD DAMN IT...NOOOO!!" I screamed.

I was reaching out to try and grab her but it was useless...she was already gone.

Suddenly the ivory fog was beginning to lift and to my surprise I was no longer falling. I was now standing on the beach with my arms reaching out for my lover.

"How...? What...?"

I know not how I managed to get here without dying from the fall and I still had no clue as to what Janice was saying to me. Another surprising thing was that this beach was exactly the way it was before the monster rose from the vistas beyond.

Although everything seemed at peace, I could not shake the uneasy feeling that anchored to my thoughts. I couldn't quite put my finger on it but something in the air seemed off...I could feel it. I turned to look back toward the ocean.

"The ocean...its back...but how?"

I couldn't believe it but I was also relieved to a degree. I was not sure if I could bear having to see those faces once more floating in the blood soaked ocean.

" _You must give in to the darkness_ " I said to myself

" _What does that mean?_ "

I stood staring off into the ocean listening to the sound of the wind gently whistling paired with the white noise of the crashing waves. I could not calm to myself even though everything around me was once again serene. I decided to sit down in the sand and wait for the next part of this nightmare to begin.

Some time had passed and nothing that I expected had happened. I was growing angry and impatient.

"COME ON! SHOW ME WHAT YOU CAN DO!!! ARE YOU AFRAID?"

I stood silent and listened....Nothing. I was sure that something was going to happen, or I would finally wake up.

"What if I am stuck here forever?"

I decided to stand up and walk into the ocean and wash off the oily resin of the black fluid. The water was freezing but it was heavenly to feel my body being cleaned of that filth. I dove under the water to clean out my thinning hair. When I surfaced I whipped my head back to throw the water off my face. I then took my hands and began wiping from my forehead down over my eyes to rid them of excess water.

Once my eyes were free and focused I could see someone standing on the beach. I jerked with surprise because I didn't expect to see another person here. As I focused my vision I could see that it was me from the old nightmare. I couldn't believe my eyes, everything as I once was stood right in front of me. My youth, my hair, and even my eyes were no longer grey.

My younger self began slowly approaching me. Unsure of what was to come I started to panic. I was brought back to what Janice had said to me earlier.

" _You must give into the darkness_ " I recalled

My younger self was still slowly approaching and I started trying to think of how to escape if I needed to.

"No...I must do as she asked of me. I have to make this right"

I affixed my sight back to my approaching youth. Having committed to the decision to give into the darkness, I decided to remain still waist-deep in the ocean.

With the shadowing night upon me, it was difficult to make out the finer details of my younger character from afar. As my younger self neared I started to notice things that made me begin to feel uneasy. The once vivid blue of my eyes had now taken on an annoying shade of yellow, and most of its face was devoid of any facial features. It was a blank face with searing yellow eyes staring at me as it approached ever closer.

I was shivering with fear, I knew my end was coming and it was my doppelganger that would take the kill. All I wanted to do was run as fast as I could but I had to see this through. I owed this to her and...my child...

The imposter was growing closer, I could almost feel his negative energy flowing through the water as it entered the surf. My chest was on fire with adrenaline and the shivering I had moments ago escalated into full on spasms. I felt sick as if I was going to throw up.

" _Snap out of it. Have some dignity for God's sake._ " I thought.

" _Dignity?_ " I questioned

" _How much dignity can I have? I am standing here naked and frightened of myself?_ "

Not knowing what was to come as he neared I did the only thing I could think of: I closed my eyes and began to think about Janice. I was thinking back to when I first met her. I felt the same way then as I do now; naked and afraid. It's funny how love and death can make you feel the same. The thoughts of her were bringing me some solace, all the while I could hear his legs sloshing as he neared closer. I could feel the water hitting me as it splashed and the rippling from its disturbance with his every step. My heart thudded so loud that I could feel it in my neck and head.

" _For them...this is all for them. Maybe I will be able to join them_ "

This brought me peace as the opposed stood right before me. I could feel his breath upon me; it was quite hot and smelled of rotten eggs. I was bracing for something...anything to happen but in the seconds passing there was nothing.

All of a sudden the sound of the ocean stopped, the sound of everything seemed to stop just like in the first nightmare.

I couldn't stand it any longer I had to open my eyes and see what was going on. I slowly began prying my eye lids open. As their curtains lifted I could see myself standing before me. Its featureless face and yellow eyes were staring straight at me. I didn't know what to do, I didn't want to mess anything up by interfering but I couldn't help but think that I had to do something.

"If you are here to kill me then please let's get this over with," I said

My copy said nothing; it just stood there quiet and motionless.

"Didn't you hear me? I said let's get this over with. Do with me what you will."

Again it just stood there and did nothing.

I was starting to get mad. I wanted this to be done and now to be here at the threshold of it all and have nothing done was beyond my acceptance. I reached out with both arms to shove him in hopes of getting some response.

"Hey! I need you to do this. Don't do this to me now" I said as I shoved him

The first couple gentle shoves did nothing. Now I was growing furious.

"What's the matter with you? Are you stupid or something?"

I was pushing him harder along with insulting him. Still, as before, nothing was making him do anything more than just standing there staring at me.

At this point I had enough. I drew back with all my might and pushed into him as hard as I could.

Just as my hands touched him, he grabbed my arms tightly with both of his hands. His grip was so tight that it felt like he was breaking my arms. Out of fright I was squirming about trying to free myself but the more I moved the tighter his grip became.

I then looked him straight in the eyes; I could see something inside of them that I couldn't see before. Deep within his sickly yellow orbs I could see the monster from the first mare. All of his thousands of eyes were affixed on me and I got the sense that what was happening to me was amusing him.

"YOU LIKE THIS?!" I screamed

"FINISH IT! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!"

My head began to hurt immensely and I could feel the warmth of blood flowing from my eyes. Despite all the pain I could hear an answer to my outburst inside my head.

" **Timothy we're not done yet...in fact, things have just begun** "

The incantation of me removed one hand from my arm and placed it on the back of my head. I could feel every one of his fingers digging deep into my scalp.

"Whatever you have to do to me just do it stop messing with me" I said

A deep echoing laughter rang inside my head and the shock from it made me disoriented. The pressure on my skull felt like it was at a breaking point. I was trying to look back into his eyes again but my evil side had me facing toward the water.

" **You will become one of them when I am done with you** "

Blood started to filter into the ocean like heavy oil. It was illuminating the ocean as it had before and the faces began rising from its depths. I didn't want to look at them but I had no choice I could not move.

Their faces... oh god their faces; I had never seen anything that could visually entail everything that enveloped the meaning of sorrow. I could see the pain in their eyes even though they had none and their wide gaping mouths spoke the wordless tales of their tragedy.

"Do it...please. Just end this"

" **NO!!** " It shouted

The pain from its scream made me fall to one knee. My face now hovered inches from the bloody ocean.

" **There is much more to be done with you...now go!** "

My doppelganger shoved my head down into the ocean. As I entered I was attempting to scream but my mouth filled with the copper flavored fluid. The faces floated around me as I squirmed about choking on water.

I could hear them...they were crying...all of them. I was running out of air and I could hear their sobbing become heavy and muffled.

Just as I felt I was going to pass out, I felt something hit me hard on my back and it jolted me awake. Everything flew by in a blur of colors and I found myself lying on my back beside my bed.

I couldn't breathe I felt something deep down in my throat.

" _I can't die here_ " I thought to myself

Using what strength I had left I managed to sit up and began punching my chest. Although the assault was weak I did manage to loosen the obstruction and I began coughing up red water. Air began rushing into my lungs and I could feel the warmth of life returning to me. I was cold, wet and feeling very weak but, for the first time in awhile, I was glad to be alive; although, I had no idea how long it would take for me to be able to return to do what is needed. For now I am enveloped in this tomb which I once called my home.

### Entry VII

March 22, 1926

I find myself fighting with a multitude of feelings. It is becoming so much of a burden that I am not sure if I can handle it all. On one hand I have to fight through this, I have to do whatever I need to in order to make things right again. Still I find myself very depressed, knowing that I am soon going to die. I partially wish that I could be the one to do it, I most certainly don't want that demon to do it but at this juncture what choice do I have? I have not been able to shake these feelings and It has been difficult to think clearly enough to plan anything. It is scaring me to think that death might possibly be awaiting me as soon as dusk begins to fall.

Since last night's journey I have become much weaker and I find myself losing strength as the hours pass. Traversing through my house has become a tremendous task, as I find myself falling most times and crawling across my hardwood floors. This also brings sadness to me, because now I am yearning for the help of a loved one. Something that at one time I had and took it for granted. Using what vigor I had left I made my way towards the living room. I made my way into the uncomfortable posture of my old arm chair

This chair has now become something like a desolate island to me. I am too exhausted to try and move elsewhere. This chair brings back memories of better times...times that I wish I could relive.

Funny it seems that this chair was the only thing that I brought with me from my old home with Janice. She used to love this chair, she for some reason thought it was comfortable. Maybe back then it was; back when there was love and someone to take care of things. Now all that seems to be around to take care of things are the bugs. As I sit in this chair it seems like I can almost feel her sitting with me. How I wish this was the case. A total feeling of loneliness is the only thing sitting here with me as my tears mix with the ink of these pages.

Over and over again I was remembering something that was said to me

" _There is much more to be done with you_ " I recalled

The inevitability of this statement alone makes me quiver. Who would have thought that so much mystery and dread could accompany so few words?

"What else can he want of me?" I questioned

Other than my initial thought that I was there to rectify the death of my beloved and my child, I had no idea. If there is something more to be done with me I just wish that it would do what it pleased.

I just want this to be over with. Every time that I get closer to the answers more of them arise.

"I want to know what the hell that thing is" I said to myself

I wish that was all I wanted to know. Maybe I was just trying to convince myself that, that was my only problem. Realistically I wanted to know how Janice was in that place, why this nightmare was overtaking me and how long it was going to continue. I know I may never figure all of these things out but I feel that I am owed them in place of my death. I will have no peace until I find the answers.

I can recall something that one of my priests told me once: to die without rectifying the queries of life is to become a ghost in God's court; for one has not truly lived but rather followed in worn footsteps in their time of purgatory.

When I was younger I really didn't understand what he was saying but...now...it speaks to me. I know that I must give into the darkness and doing so will help me find some light. I must find my solace in my answers, for I fear that if I do not, I will become one of them... one of the faces lifelessly floating in a sea of death and despair.

### Entry VIII

March 23, 1926

Once more an evening has passed and I was not revisited by hell. I had never thought that I would be so disappointed to see the sun rise. I still remain in my arm chair; I am even weaker than I was before. I need to hold on. I can't let it end this way not here.

It is times like these that make you realize how many things in life pass you by. As I sit in my arm chair, I have a clear view of the portal where my front door used to be. It would seem to me now that the day is mocking me. I feel as if it knows that I can see it and it is putting on the show of a lifetime. The sun is perched high in a cloudless blue sky extending its warm salutation. Sadly, I cannot attend. I may never be able to feel its heat against my skin again. I could see the grass of my front lawn littered with sparkling morning dew. It looked like millions of diamonds glistening in lights prism.

I can remember those days when I was a child, running barefoot through the moistened blades of grass. It was so cool to the touch, quite a relief from the escalating heat of a summer morning. How much I do miss this sight, such a simple thing. Simple, but it is glorious.

This choreography makes my body ache for freedom but, alas, no matter how much of a tick it gives me, I am stuck here. The sunlight won't reach my withering body for some time yet. Even when it does find me, it is only a tease to its true power.

Sadly, I have a feeling that this sight will soon be taken from me as well; I am starting to hear the sorrowing cries of the faces. It is distant but unmistakable. Nothing in this world could sound as melancholy as they. It is so heart wrenching to hear them even if it is only a murmur at this point.

In past days I had seen them in things such as mirrors or glass. I haven't written about it because I was hoping that, if I distanced myself from it as much as I could, it would go away.

I was wrong. Very, very wrong.

I fear that soon they will inhabit the glass entryway of my home; when that happens my entrapment will be complete. For now I will sit here and appreciate this masterpiece of God before it's taken away.

I really wish I knew why the nightmare was finding me here in this world. I continuously find myself asking...why? After everything that I have been subjected to, the only answer I could find is: why not?

### Entry IX

March 24, 1926

I have once again not returned to the otherworld, but this time it was not of my inability to do so. Once the sun began to set and the final trickles of light had diminished I sat in total darkness. As I had expected, the faces have begun to take over the space of my door. With the faces now filtering that space, weaker light like the moon had no chance of penetrating it. Thus my living is in total darkness. Normally I would not be the slightest bit put off by this but something had indeed proved me chicken.

I could see a figure crouching on the floor mere feet from me. It was the shadow of something that looked human but everything about it was far from it. This shadow was darker and denser than the color of night. It spoke nothing to me; it made absolutely no sounds whatsoever, even when it walked. The most disturbing thing about it was that I could see its eyes. They were a bright vivid blue...cobalt really; they resembled the eye color I once had. It did walk from room to room from time to time but for most of that sleepless night, it sat before me calculating. It had its legs crossed sitting like a grade school child, its piercing blue eyes affixed to me. Every couple of seconds it would tilt its head from side to side, much like a dog studying its master.

This silent standoff went on for hours. It said nothing and, quite frankly, I was too afraid to say anything to it. My skin crawled every time I would see its head jerk about and my hair remained on edge for most of that night.

" _It knows your afraid...you look it...you stink of fear._ " I thought to myself

As much as I didn't want to admit it, my thoughts were right. I was producing a stench from perspiration. I could not stop my hands from shaking either. No matter how much I tried to rest them on my sides, they would convulse uncontrollably. In these positions we remained for hours, staring each other down. I didn't want to take my eyes off of it but I also wanted to try and go back to the other world. I had to find a way out of this first.

" _How much time do I have left till morning?_ " I thought to myself.

Without even thinking about it, my eyes reacted of instinct; I took a seconds glance at the wall clock across from me.

That's when what I had feared would happen happened...

From the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of it flatten to its stomach and stretch its arms out like a spider. I turned to stare at it straight on and, in my fear, I was mesmerized to stone.

The figure began moving in jittery movements across the floor as all its appendages twitched and scurried in fast paced rhythmic movement. Its head cocked up and centered about its shoulder blades. Its eyes remained focused on me all the while as its head jerked from side to side. Despite the lack of detail to the apparition, the site of it moving was repulsive. It reminded me of something like an arachnid except the size of a man.

It continued to scurry its way to the hearth of my feet.

" _This is it_ " I thought to myself

I only wish that I was less of a coward. I wish I could actually move my hands or scream...or do anything more than just sit here and shiver.

It had arrived beneath me, seemingly groveling at my feet. I could hear a loud cracking noise a lot like if someone were to crack one's knuckles. I looked down at it to witness its head shuttering back on its neck so it could look straight up at me. It showed no sign of pain while it was seemingly breaking it neck just to look at me.

" _Even if I could, I don't think I could do anything to harm it,_ " I thought

This made me realize the severity of the situation I was in. With all the strength I could muster I began screaming for help.

"HELP...PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME!!!"

Of course I knew that no one could hear me scream. I knew what I was doing was futile but I didn't want to die just sitting here like a child.

"HELP...HELP ME!!!" I continued to scream

The shadow man then made a noise that silenced me

"Sssh..."

I saw no mouth for it to make such a noise, and hearing it made my hair stand on end. The silence that followed was only filled by the fast paced pounding of my heart.

It began staring at me again as it lay at my feet. It was studying me once again, like before; tilting its head from side to side.

Floating there in the darkness of its figure were those blue eyes. Their familiarity made me begin to think that maybe this ghost had another reason for being here other than to kill me. What this was I did not know but I was beginning to feel some sort of a connection to this creature.

Now, with a feeling of kinship for the specter, we remained staring at each other and saying nothing. I could see from the corner of my eye that the sun was beginning to rise and light was soon going to fill my home once again. The ghost for the first time all night took his eyes off of me. It was looking to the space where my door once stood. I could almost sense that it was trying to get a glimpse of the sunrise; something that I am sure it has not seen in a long time.

As it sat there yearning to see the sun, I couldn't help but to feel sorry for it. Something that I get to see every day and, on an occasion or two, cursed its welcome, this creature looks upon it as a gift. It made me realize the things that are always around us, constantly making life possible and we hardly ever acknowledge them. Sadly, that was the same way I treated Janice. She was my constant reoccurring sunrise and almost everyday I failed to give her the credit.

"I'm sorry Janice." I whispered to myself

The shadow then took its glance from the door and back to me.

"Ssssh..." it said again

This time its tone was different...it seemed to have a maternal feeling to it. It seemed to be more sincere and laced with love.

"Janice?" I questioned

It had to be her. All the while I was thinking those eyes reminded me of my own; Janice had the same color eyes as mine, but they were better; they were like if heaven could be filtered into a glass.

"Janice, please...I..."

"Ssshh..." it said again.

We both looked out through the glass filled with dying faces and watched the sun continue to rise.

With morning approaching more swiftly, I sensed our time was nearing an end.

I didn't know what to say, what could I say? My mind was swarming with millions of questions but would not focus on a single one.

The sunlight was now beginning to fill the room and we both looked back at each other again. I was trying to think of something to say, but before I could come to a conclusion, it spoke for me. I could hear it take a deep breath and garble out:

"Draaumen"

This was all it said to me. I had not a single clue as to what that meant or if it had any significance to my situation.

"Draaumen?" I repeated aloud

The shadow gave no answer; its time appeared to be up. The room was almost completely illuminated. The ghost took one last long look into me eyes before it laid flat and seemingly blended into the shadow my armchair produced.

"NO! Don't go!" I screamed

This time there was no comforting shush; just the woeful noises of the faces in the glass.

### Entry X

March 28, 1926

### 10:30 am

I am still in my armchair. For most of the morning hours I have been sobbing like a child. I could not believe that I got to see Janice one more time and I could say nothing to her. Now all I am left with is this riddle

"Draaumen? What the hell does that mean?" I asked myself

I was not even sure of that this word was even from an English language, or any language for that matter. Even with the resources I have in my study I doubt I will find anything matching this word.

Suddenly I had a relapse back to the first time I visited the nightmarish world. I had a flashing image of annoyingly large yellow eyes. They retracted back towards a behemoth of a creature that was as large as the earth itself.

"Draaumen...Its name is Draaumen" I said.

It was the only thing that made sense to me. What else could it be referring to?

My grief of Janice was lifting because I realized that she did everything she could to try and give me this one solemn piece of advice. Even in death and beyond all measures she came back to me to aid me.

For the first time ever instead of crying, I was feeling confident. I know now what I must do.

"Give into the darkness," I said

Draaumen is the darkness and, if I can give into him, then all of this will go away and my wife and child will finally rest in peace. I must make things right. Tonight I will go back and I will find It and put an end to all of this. For now, I must plan and prepare myself for my final journey.

Still, I cannot forget what I have learned from the all of this and so I will take some time to reflect, all the while watching the world go by and appreciating everything it has given me.

### Entry XI

March 28, 1926

### 8:30pm

The time is nigh. I am not going to lie about this I am very frightened. Knowing I am going to die is not an easy thing to deal with, despite all the good it will bring to my lost loved ones. Still, I know that being a martyr is never going to be easy and for their souls to rest I would do anything.

Through most of the day I had been trying to think of a way to make sure that I return to an instance that the demon is present. This has only happened one time successfully and I wasn't trying to find him the first time I assure you. The only thing that I could conclude was that there was one instance when I was placed back into an area where I had left off; when I had awoke inside the tar filled sack beneath the tunnel, I was subconsciously thinking about the time before when I had almost died from the fall. I am thinking that if I try and focus hard enough on one thing that resides in that other world, I will be put there when I arrive. I really don't know if this will even work or not but it is the only shot I have at finding him. Now that I know his name or I think I know his name, I may be able to find him.

With every advancement in my plan though I am finding faults, such as: what if Draaumen isn't really the name of the demon?, what if it's a trap and I go to a place where I cannot return and I ruin everything? I keep thinking that Janice wouldn't set me on the wrong path but how can I also be sure that it was Janice that came to me last night? All of this is clouding my mind and, for once, I am growing tired of my over analyzing brain. If just once I did something instead of thinking everything through down to the last detail, would things be different? Or would they have been the same?

" _STOP IT! You're doing it again_ " I thought to myself

I have had enough of being a coward and I have had enough of second guessing myself. For once I am just going to take action. For once I am going to be the man that Janice and my child needs me to be.

The sun is now starting to set and the darkness is filling my home once again. Except this time there is no shadow person because I know where she is.

I find it funny how much I have grown accustomed to everything that most people would have gone insane over. These faces that haze my view of the sunset, they have become my only source of company. It feels as if the other world has found me and maybe I am already partially in there. That a part of me is just waiting for the rest to find its way. All my life after I had lost Janice I was trying to find some sort of solace. Ironic it seems that some incantation of hell was where I was going to find it.

### Entry XII

March 29, 1926

### 12:00am

The time has come to say goodbye to all existence that I have come to know. I spent the last hours watching the outside world for the last time in my life. It is a sad gesture of sorts knowing that I will never return to this world but maybe with my sacrifice something good will come of it.

I had my plan I was going to try and focus on what I am hoping was the beast's name; in doing so I have a small chance of being placed in his presence.

"It's a long shot" I said

"But it's the only shot I have"

I situated myself to the edge of my arm chair, pressed my pointer fingers and thumbs together and began meditating about it.

"Draaumen...Give me Draaumen" I chanted

I must have repeated its name over and over several times...nothing was happening. I was growing angry with the situation. I had to get there, I had to find it there was no more waiting around. I have to do this for....them.

That is when it struck me, my muse...my Janice. I began thinking about her and about the past evening when she came to me and gave me the demons title. I began feeling woozy and I could feel movement, like a gale of wind rushing past me. I opened my eyes and I was surprised to see that I was surrounded by an aura of blinding white light that funneled towards a exit fissure. The hole was a glowing presence of orange and red and as I neared it I could hear the roaring of fire and I could feel the heat it provided.

As I continued to effortlessly float thru the tunnel I could begin to hear some muffled speech in the distance.

"Thank you" Is what it sounded like it was saying

I was alone in this tunnel; I could not find anything that would have said those words. Somehow I knew who it was; I knew it was Janice thanking me.

The gratitude repeated and was following me as I neared the exit to this wormhole. The heat was intensifying and I could smell rotten eggs once again. I never thought in my life that I would be so happy to smell that awful stench.

A final strong push of air sent me through the hole. I was back in the nightmare once again. This time the otherworld was much different than before. The village was nothing but a smoldering pile of fire and ash. The stone walkways were glowing red from the heat of this hell. The sand of the beach I stood upon had a slight sheen to it as if it was melting into glass. Wreckage of the village littered the shiny sand as well as the decomposed carcasses of the beached sea life. The bones and sand meet with the ocean that was overflowing with the glowing red blood and faces of the giant monolith that now towered before me.

The deafening roars of fire and boiling sounds of the ocean littered ears. My head was pounding from all of the noise and I covered my ears to try and muffle the horrendous sounds. The monster was less than fifty yards from where I stood and it seemed as if he had no idea that I was there.

"DRAAUMEN" I shouted

The demon glanced down at me and the sight of it looking at me was the single most frightening thing I have ever witnessed. It acknowledged my presence and its vision was fixated on my weak mortal body. Its eyes seemed to be staring at me and somehow I could tell that it was not happy that I came here.

We stood for some time starring at each other. The demon said nothing to me it just stood there motionless. I could stand this no longer, the fact that it was doing nothing when I knew that it was the key to everything I needed to do was angering me greatly.

"DRAAUMEN...WHY...WHY ME?" I screamed

The monster said nothing for a few seconds. I began to feel my head crushing with pain and once again my eyes began to bleed. I could hear something in my head.

" _You, Timothy were the perfect catalyst of your own suffering. You turned your back on your God and given up on yourself_ "

Once the demon finished speaking the pressure in my head subsided.

" _He can get inside my head...that's how he could find me in my world._ " I thought

Everything along with his answer was beginning to make sense. Sadly for me what the demon said came as no surprise, it was right. After what had happen I gave up on everything that Janice and I had fought our entire marriage to build. I needed to know more, I wanted to know everything.

"WHO ARE YOU?....WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?"

The beast said nothing to my questions

"ANSWER ME!!!" I shouted

Once again my head began throbbing with pain I was about to get my answer.

" _I am an ancient being, a titan of what man first came to know as god. We watch over your world from realms humans where never meant to see._ "

I really couldn't understand the real meaning behind what the behemoth was saying. All I know is that it is of some sort of actual physical being, the beast is not just a pigment of my fears or imagination..

" _God please help me_ " I said to myself

" _What you think of as God is a misconception I am afraid, We are your Gods. We have been around for centuries, we created all that you know and see, from the earth to the stars and beyond. In here there is nothing that can hear your prayers_ "

The sir became thicker and the heat from this place was making feel woozy. I was starting to suffer from heat stroke. My breathing was becoming labored.

" _Dying once again?...With everything that you are fighting for you are going to give in that easily?...You are going to let yourself die here once again?_ "

I was fighting back the suffocating feeling of the heat crawling down my throat. My vision was becoming hazy and any moment I feared that I would collapse.

" _Fight it...FIGHT IT DAMN YOU_ " I said to myself

Using all the strength I had left in me I stood strong and held my ground.

The pain in my head still remained and with everything that was ailing my body I didn't really know how much time I had left. I wanted to pray but I was beginning to see that there was nothing that I could ask for help...at least not in this place. The behemoth continued to speak to me

" _All those years...all those desperate, melancholy years you spent blaming God for their deaths. Now you know that blaming Him wasn't possible. The blame rested on your shoulders alone. You are to blame for their death Timothy_ "

" **DAMN YOU** " I screamed with my last once of air.

I feel to my knees and in anger I began pounding my fists into the ash and sand of the beach. One thing it's said was haunting me...Dying once again?

I struggled to gather some air and with the last bits I could gather I asked,

"How many times have I died in this place?"

The demons deep haunting voice replied,

" _You have given me something that most succumb to only once in their lives. Sadly for you Timothy your rebirth has not yet come full circle_ "

I was getting angry because every answer that I was given was not s straight forward one to my question. The demon was speaking in riddles to me and dancing around the truth. I knew I couldn't get any more out of the monster than what it was willing to give.

" _He knows every thought that I have and he chooses to only let me know what he wants me to you"_ I thought to myself

Surprisingly the monolith didn't reply to my thoughts this time which only led me to assume that what I was thinking was true.

Nothing seemed to go right for me, I was still struggling to breathe and I had not received much closer for the reasons I had come here. I was running out time but I had to do this. These conflicting thoughts have been with me for some time and I now more than ever wish that I could pass them. My head began to hurt once again,

" _I do pity you Timothy but pity does not reward forgiveness. For one to gain forgiveness they must first give recompense for their wrongdoings_ "

Sadly I knew that this was true but still the demon seemed to be leading me on with riddles and not giving me the closure I came for.

"Why do you toy with me?"

The monster simply replied with,

" _Why do you think?_ "

We continued playing a game of riddles and wits as ashes flurried down from the inferno that was the sky. The ocean tide was rising farther up the beach of shrapnel and bones and the howling cries of the faces could now be heard amongst the crackling fire. I stood within a world that now seemed more real than my own but in relevance it could be nothing more than a farce. For a month's time I have fought through this hell and now it would seem that I was lost in a sea of riddles with no answers to float on. I was losing the battle that I came here to finish. I was running out of hope for bringing them peace, nothing I was doing was helping the situation.

" _Why can I never do anything right...I feel as if my God has abandoned me just as I had abandoned my wife and child_ " I thought to myself.

I then could see that the behemoth was growing a grotesque smirk oozing with black liquid and this sent chills down my spine. The idea that something that I did was amusing this creature was making me feel very uneasy.

" _You are just like all the others Timothy...I really thought that you might have been different, it disappoints me. It is common of man to put themselves on the same level as their Gods. You have lost your way and have forgotten your true purpose_ "

I could bare it no longer, the demons riddles were diving me to the brink of insanity.

" **STOP SPEAKING IN RIDDLES** " I screamed

My scream made my throat feel as if it was ripping into several pieces and sent me into a small coughing fit.

" _I do not speak in riddles. It is your unwillingness to let your mind think beyond anything else but the norm. You have repressed that which you wish for no one to know...but that is impossible because I know all, and you only know what I wish for you to know. You must think Timothy_ "

At that moment something struck me hard and true, I was remembering something that I had repressed for years. The horror of the truth had flushed over me. I was trembling and sweating at my realization and sadly I knew that the demon already had known about it...he probably knew about it before it had even happen.

" _The child was not your child was it?_ " The monster questioned

My heart sunk. This memory was something that I wrestled with to forget for years. I was overcome with grief and the sadness of that day was returning to me as if it was the first time it happen. I began silently sobbing to myself all the while gathering my thoughts to explain it.

" _No...it was not mine, I do not know who the real father was and truthfully I don't want to know. I let Janice think that she fooled me...I loved her too much to let something get in the way of our marriage. I was a broken man and even thought I wouldn't let her know, I started distancing myself by attending seminars at my old college. This didn't help...probably because it was the main reason she cheated on me in the first place. I was never there, she had needs and I was too selfish worrying about what I wanted._ "

The feeling of being that broken man swept back into my soul and my tears were starting to pour faster and I could not control them. I must have seen like such a weak pathetic creature to this giant immortal, because he continued to feed into my misery.

" _It was an infantile effort to play the fool, by doing so you let yourself become a victim in order to ease the guilt for what you were doing to her all along. You had her death in line before it even happened, then you removed yourself from the home that housed all of your repressed memories and sealed it all away_ "

" _You cry now like a child, you cry for the death that you had dealt so long ago, you..._ "

My anger grew within me and I felt a surge of power come over me. In the blindness of my anger I lashed out interrupting his babbling.

" _I did NOT murder them, they had an ACCIDENT and I had NOTHING to do with it. I could have NEVER had known what was going to happen._ "

Draaumen shifted his position from the heavens and lowered his hideous face closer to my fallen position. He appeared to me like a planet ready to crash into the earth. I had never seen him this close before, his head shrouded my entire view of vistas beyond. I could his skin was smooth and shiny with the façade of snake leather and was littered with the bones of other fallen people.

" _I need to ask you one thing Draaumen, I have kept quiet about this for some time..._ "

I rose from my knees and now stood before the monster smelling the sulfur that carried on its every breath. I was looking towards the ground almost searching for the courage to ask the question. I was afraid of the answer, I was too afraid to find out anymore truths. I removed my gaze from the sand and ash to look up at the grotesque creature once again.

" _Why do you call me Timothy?... My name is Jonathan_ "

Draaumens expression had changed and this time, despite how terrifying its demeanor was I could tell that I had said something good.

" _You finally seem to be coming around. You are the current conditioning product for the juncture of two souls. You are the product of strangers lie...a repressed memory._ "

This was certainly hard for me to swallow and the questioned of who Timothy really was still remained. My mind could not fully comprehend everything that I was told. I was feeling that a web of lies had been sewn for me. I doubted what the demon had said to me but what else was I suppose to believe?

" _Jonathan I will no longer puzzle your mind with the complexities of who and why; when you had been here in the past you where the physical embodiment of Timothy. When Timothy had died in this place he was leaving pieces of his soul behind for me. I was using these remnants to mold the lost memory named Jonathan into a plain of life_ "

I was overcome with the information that was given to me and it only brought on more questions.

" _So that is how you are able to know everything about me, you are my creator's creator and you materialized everything in this known universe from my memories to my every thought?_ "

" _Correct_ " Draaumen said

" _Then I have one question left for you...who am I?_ "

The pain in my head subsided and his words became silent. Within his sinister eyes I could see a hint of sadness lingering deep within their yellow pigment.

" _You, Jonathan, are the child of your mother Janice Holtz. The same child whose life had been cut short by a man named Timothy Holtz on a stormy night several years ago. Now you know everything I wanted you to know was a ploy to further Timothy to atone for his sins. Your true nature is fictitious, laced within dreams of this world and Timothy's world. You are the vessel for Timothy when he ventures into this realm._ "

I was overcome with confusing,

" _Why did you do this? This seems to be a very harsh punishment for a person who had not been born, let alone sinned_ "

" _I do not punish you, I assure you, I will show you what I mean_ "

Draaumen then rose back to standing and stretched one of his enormous arms into the sky. As I peered up into the blinding firestorm of the sky I could see a small opening ripping through the maelstrom. The portal provided me with a vision of an aging man sitting in an old withering chair. His face was ravaged by fatigue and his overall aura matched the depressing darkness of the night that engulfed his home. I was shocked to see that he and I bared a similar likeness regardless of our ages. He had what looked like a journal sitting in his lap and was frantically writing something down with a ink well pen, however I could not see what it was.

" _Is this Timothy?_ " I asked, although I already knew the answer

" _Yes, this is Timothy. You have met before although you were still under my control then so you would not remember it. You were on the beach and Timothy was bathing in the ocean because he had escaped prematurely from a rendering cocoon. The cocoons purpose is to kill the host body and collect the soul within. Your mother then came to him and gave him the knowledge he needed to pursue the right path and do this for you and her_ "

I stood starring into the portal in the sky watching the old man uncontrollably writing. I felt anger towards him but also I pitied him, he would have to die to save my soul. That was a tremendous sacrifice but he was willing to do it to save me and let my mother rest in peace. My demeanor towards Timothy had changed.

" _I forgive you; I only wish I got to know you better_ "

Draaumen then spoke aloud

" _Timothy the time is nigh. The final step will now take commence in order for Jonathan to take your place. Jonathan I give you life in your death, you will be reborn as a child into a family that will care for you. You will have the opportunity to live the life you never had. After this is done you will have no memory of this...do you still wish to continue?_ "

Before I could say anything a voice echoed down from the portal above. It was Timothy and as he spoke he was still writing, it was as if he had no control over them.

" Jonathan...please do this...it is what your mother wants, she loves you even in her death and even thought I never got to met you...I love you. If there is anything I could do to make up for everything it is this."

I didn't say anything...I simply just agreed by shaking my head yes.

" _It shall be done._ "

Before I could mutter another word, a strange energy lifted up towards the sky, a brilliant light cascaded before my eyes as I was being pulled through the portal in the sky.

### ***

These are the last words that I, Timothy Holtz will be able to write. I only hope that someday my story...my confession, reaches the proper channels. I hope that someday my story will be heard and in some way...somehow Jonathan could know that I love him. I may have cursed the thought of him not being my true offspring but deep inside I would have raised him as if he was my own.

I am now closer to death...I can feel it. It's like ice but there is no pain...it's almost like a comforting feeling, a closure if you will. The faces in the glass are now to become my family, I know understand their chanting

"Repent and lament no more"

This I will do. I now write a poem of my final thoughts:

I lay upon ceased memories of times well reminisced

Within this chasm of enraged ideal, yields a somber pubescence

Inevitable for all, one day will arrive when ceased memories will be relived for one final

Encore.

###

Afterword

First and foremost I would like to thank you for purchasing my book. I hope that you found it to be a good read and you enjoyed the ride as well.

For some time I had always wanted to try my hand at writing. Every time I would pick up a book and start reading, I was always taken aback by the way that just having words on paper in simple black and white could transport you to another world, point in time, or even make you afraid to turn the next page. Despite wanting to write a book of my own, I had never really thought that I would had been good enough to write anything worth reading; so, for years and years I pushed the idea to the back of my mind. For all those years I just continued on reading and gathering ideas in my head for books that I never had the courage to write.

That is until I met the love of my life. My wife was the biggest influence in my life; it was her that made me believe in myself and actually give writing a try. Now those ideas that I kept on the back burner had a chance to come to life and I owe it all to her.

The influences for my writing style come from a couple of different sources. When I was young and started reading I greatly enjoyed reading Stephen King novels. I always loved the way he was able to suck me into what was going on and, even though I would get scared sometimes, I always wanted to continue. His novels stuck with me the most and his books almost became my gateway drug into horror novels.

As anyone that reads King's books would know, when you are in a book store searching through his massive library of titles, there is one other author that doesn't stray too far from his section. Not only because he writes horror, but it also had a lot to do with alphabetical filing. Of course, I am talking about Dean Koonts. Now, as much as I would like to say that I was recommended by someone to read Dean Koont's, I was not. I simply just stumbled upon him by sheer accident because of his placement being near King. Now, this isn't to say that I didn't like Koont's work; in fact I very much enjoyed his Frankenstein anthology, and I recommend it to anyone looking for a good anthology to read.

For some time these were the two authors I pretty much stuck to; besides having to read To Kill a Mockingbird in school; which I read at least three times through multiple English courses. I also had to read Beowulf as an English project in high school. I fell in love with this book! It struck all the right nerves with me. It had an awesome monster, a strong epic hero, deep story involving betrayal and gave you excellent imagery. It was after reading this book that I wanted to start reading more classical literature.

Thus, in steps an author that wrote some of the most classical horror fiction: H.P. Lovecraft. If it wasn't obvious, most of my inspiration for this book came from H.P. Lovecraft. The Call of Cthulhu has been one of my favorite stories of his, along with Dagon, At the Mountains of Madness, Nyarlathotep and The Dunwich Horror. I remember when I first read one of his tales, I was blown away by his writing style. I found him to be very descriptive and his vocabulary was enormous compared to other authors I had previously read. Every time I read a story I felt uneasy reading it; which made me enthralled in his worlds even more. All his stories were very strange and unlike anything else; I was always wondering how he came up with his stories. I finally had found out by reading an afterword in a collection of his stories: all of his ideas came to him in his dreams...all those insane creatures and terrifying atmospheres, they came to him in his dreams. Now, that is very interesting, don't you think? It also became the main theme of this novella and another method I adopted for ideas.

These are the three main authors that have influenced me over the years. I hope that you liked this story and would be a fan of my work in the future. I plan on writing more novels and I would like to have you back once again for another adventure into the far off worlds that I hope to create in your mind. Once again, thank you so much, and I hope to have you back again in the future.

About The Author

Matthew Wildasin is a beginning author residing in York, Pennsylvania with his wife of 3 years, Jamie Wildasin, his dog The Cheat, and their cat Mr. Meowgi. He is currently working on 2 other books:

A Walk With My Dog

(drama)

Untitled Project

(short story horror collection)

