Is it possible for me to not change my mind
on transgender issues?
To believe that it’s wrong?
I hear this question a lot.
The sense I get is that the asker is saying:
“Can I still be a good and loving person
and believe this way?”
At least that’s the generous understanding.
It could be coming from a place of “In this
age of political correctness is it possible
to hold a viewpoint that feels offensive to
some people?”
The answer is yes.
Yes you can believe that it’s wrong to be
transgender.
Yes you can hold whatever beliefs that you
want.
BUT THERE ARE SOME THINGS TO CONSIDER:
Realize what you are giving up
You can absolutely believe that being transgender
is wrong, but if you do I am probably not
going to be your close friend.
You might be an incredible person.
Loving.
Kind.
Give you the shirt off your back type.
But I will always feel guarded around you.
I won’t let you in on my deepest thoughts.
You won’t get to see my heart, not really.
I’ll keep you at arms length not because
I am mad at you for not changing your beliefs
but because it’s not safe for me to be super
close with someone who thinks I am wrong simply
for existing.
There is a chance that at some point in the
future I might have to cut you out of my life
entirely.
I might need to, for my own sanity and safety,
choose to not surround myself with people
who believe that I am wrong.
That might be hard to hear but it’s the
truth.
And you have to be willing to deal with that.
You cannot disrespect me
You cannot refuse to use my name and pronouns.
You cannot refuse to use my name and pronouns.
Full stop.
If you do that you have crossed a line.
You cannot legislate against my life
You can believe whatever you want but you
cannot pass laws that make it harder for me
to live and exist.
You cannot vote to outlaw medical transition.
You cannot vote to make it so that health
insurance doesn’t cover transition related
care.
You cannot vote to make it impossible for
trans people to change their names or their
documents.
You cannot vote to make it impossible for
transgender people to pee (and therefore to
exist) in public.
If you do those things then you have moved
from holding a belief to being hostile to
me and my community.
You have moved from holding a personal feeling
to be downright oppressive.
That cannot stand.
We will not allow it to stand.
It’s that simple
You can hold whatever beliefs you want, but
that doesn’t give you the right to make
it harder for other people to move through
the world and exist.
You don’t get to disrespect other people
and put barriers in the way of their success
because of your personally held beliefs.
And you don’t get to be mad about someone
cutting off contact or not wanting to be your
friend when you hold beliefs that are harmful
to them and their community.
That might sound like a harsh truth, but it’s
true all the same.
You can choose what you want to believe but
you don’t get to be angry about what it
costs you.
