In 2009, the History Channel's Ancient Aliens
took a far-out concept and blew it up.
There's a lot about Ancient Aliens you might
not know.
Here's a behind-the-scenes look at this titan
of bad TV, presented without snark, sarcasm,
or contempt.
How did we manage such a difficult feat?
Aliens.
In the nine years since its conception, Ancient
Aliens has released a staggering 13 seasons
and over 130 one-hour episodes.
That's a lot of time to fill.
Probably too much time.
As anyone who's ever worked on a sitcom can
tell you, you start to run out of ideas after
a while.
On Scrubs, it seemed to happen right around
the time Elliot decided to cut her bangs.
But on Ancient Aliens, well...
"Did the dawning of the nuclear age really
usher in a new era of extraterrestrial encounters?"
It's tough to say when inspiration flew away.
"Egyptologists agree that this type of a shape
descended from the sky."
Recent topics have included "Was Egypt home
to Earth’s earliest extraterrestrial visitors?"
and "Could the ancient ruins of Sardinia hold
clues to an extraterrestrial past?"
The answers, respectively, are "No" and "No,"
but who would want to watch a show called
Ancient Aliens Weren't Really a Thing?
Ancient Aliens has built up a dedicated fan
base over the years.
It's also attracted the attention of hundreds
of viewers who have never seen a full episode...
because they keep having to scream into a
pillow.
Unsurprisingly, Ancient Aliens is a show skeptics
either love to hate, or simply hate.
And no wonder.
"Alien greys are actually beings from the
future who are traveling in time to the present
time, which is their past."
There are now dozens of blogs, Reddit threads,
and YouTube videos dedicated to breaking down
claptrap like this:
"Might some of the planet's most active volcanoes
really have been home to extraterrestrial
forces?"
The haters have so thoroughly debunked the
show, the only question left is: How did they
manage to rain so hard on this parade?
For possible answers, check out the Ancient
Aliens episode "The Great Flood."
"Atlantis was one of the continents that was
destroyed by the Great Flood."
This wouldn't be a video about Ancient Aliens
without some mention of one of the most flammable
hairdos working in show business today: Giorgio
Tsoukalos.
"How is it possible that in the last 70 years
we've accomplished more than in the last 5,000
years?"
He's apparently always had a flair for the
outrageous, starting out in show business
as a producer for pro bodybuilding shows.
But that industry was apparently too grounded
in reality for Tsoukalos, who now spends his
career wondering why aliens are so hellbent
on remaining invisible to us.
"You're standing where extraterrestrial beings
might have been."
Meet Erich von Daniken.
"I will turn myself in my tomb if some idiots
create a new religion according to my thinking.”
He's appeared on Ancient Aliens over 60 times,
and written such controversial books as Chariots
of the Gods.
"It opened my eyes up to the possibility that
ancient cultures may have been in connection
with or interacting with some sort of off-planet
intelligence."
Lesser known fact: von Daniken has a number
of criminal convictions under his belt, including
fraud and embezzlement charges in the '50s
and '60s.
According to the New York Times, a court-ordered
psychoanalysis found him to be:
"...a prestige seeker, a liar and an unstable
and criminal psychopath with a hysterical
character."
Good thing he turned his life around to teach
us the truth about aliens.
Remember John Podesta, the former campaign
chair to Hillary Clinton?
"You know, we could sit here and speculate
and put facts into the record."
Podesta recently appeared in an altogether
different spotlight, appearing as a guest
on the 2018 season premiere of Ancient Aliens.
"Secretary Clinton likewise was kind of interested
in the topic."
The show suggests Clinton lost the presidency
in part because she wanted to tell the truth
about aliens.
The episode stops just short of implying she
lost the presidency to aliens.
Looks like we may never know.
"If there really was a smoking gun in there,
it would be almost impossible to find."
If you're looking for ancient aliens, look
no further than your pocket: A mobile game
named Ancient Aliens: The Game is right there
on your phone.
"Is it possible our ancestors learned to value
gold by observing extraterrestrials?"
The story is simple: You play a human tasked
by aliens with advancing humanity.
Their home planet needs gold, and they've
journeyed to Earth to turn humanity into their
little worker bees.
If that sounds like the plot to Battlefield:
Earth, that's only because you must have seen
Battlefield: Earth.
“Hahahahaha”
