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By: Amanda Uechi Ronan

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2015 Amanda Uechi Ronan

Thank you for downloading this ebook. This book remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be redistributed to others for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy from their favorite authorized retailer. Thank you for your support.

For the boy I knew.

PART I

Harvest Moon

Under the harvest moon,

When the soft silver

Drips shimmering

Over the garden nights,

Death, the gray mocker,

Comes and whispers to you

As a beautiful friend

Who remembers.

Under the summer roses

When the flagrant crimson

Lurks in the dusk

Of the wild red leaves,

Love, with little hands,

Comes and touches you

With a thousand memories,

And asks you

Beautiful, unanswerable questions.

\- Carl Sandburg

Lissy looked over Cole's shoulder, finding the large harvest moon low in the sky. Her breath clouded in the chilled night air. It was unseasonably cold that night, but that wasn't rare in the desert. "Are you alright?" Cole asked for the hundredth time. He was out of breath too, but only because he'd been kissing her neck and across her collarbones for so long. She nodded her head, but still his eyebrows tugged together.

"If you don't want to, Lis, I'm fine. We're fine. We don't have to," he mumbled all at once.

She quieted him by touching her lips to his, thoroughly shutting him up. She still wasn't quite used to the taste of Cole. The look, sound, smell of him she'd known since she was six years old; his taste and the feel of his arms wrapped around her, his hands everywhere at once, was brand new. She'd only known that for a few months, the first time being after her sixteenth birthday in April.

Cole separated from her again. He was gasping now, like he'd run ten miles. "We don't have to, Lissy. I'm kind of freaking out."

"Shut up," she whispered. She pulled his face to hers so that he could feel her smile.

His eyebrows tugged together again, this time in an even sharper point. He removed a hand from the hem of her jeans and ran it through his hair. "You're my best friend, though," he said. "Shit, I don't want to ruin us."

Lissy finally released her hold on his pant loops, falling back in the bed of the broken down truck. The wreck was hidden within a grove of trees in the vacant lot behind Cole's house. The Oaks were not native to the desert, which meant the trees once ringed an old farmstead. The house was long gone, but the trees remained sentinels of the past. Overgrown brush obscured the dilapidated vehicle further. No one would find Lissy and Cole unless they knew where to look.

Cole had laid down two camping mats covered by an old bed spread and topped it all with a brand new polar fleece blanket from Wal-Mart. There were even pillows from his bedroom. She scooted up to rest her head on one, watching as Cole paced back and forth at the tailgate. He was running a hand through his hair as if manic. She knew he was just overthinking. Cole overthought everything. Better to let him pace it out than start an argument.

Finally she held out a hand, reaching for him. "Cole," she whispered. He turned sharply towards her. His cheeks were flushed red, accentuating his color scheme of black shaggy hair and bright blue eyes. "Stop being... you and just come here."

He crawled into the truck bed; careful not to disturb the blankets he'd so sensibly planned. He edged to her side, but she pulled one of his arms across her before he could protest, leaving his whole front pressed down on her. "This," she said, reaching up to cup his cheek. "Could never ruin us."

"I'm nervous," he said, shaking his head.

She leaned up, kissing him deeply, in the way she knew would make him moan. When she pulled away, his eyes were glazed over and his skin felt hot to the touch. "I want you, Cole," she purred.

That was the last time they spoke that night.

The rest of her life, every time Lissy saw a deep-orange autumn moon hanging low in the sky, she would think of her best friend and how they both lost their virginity that night.
For the next two years, Cole and Lissy were inseparable. They took the same classes; they did the same afterschool activities. They were young and in love. They proved that last fact almost every afternoon in the decrepit old truck. So everything made sense the day they stood one behind the other at their high school graduation ceremony, Cole holding Lissy's hand behind his back. His last name was Grandin; hers was Grant. She'd been following Cole in and out of school ceremonies since the first grade.

Lissy and Cole fell into the front door of his house, their mouths and hands all over each other. She had his shirt halfway off before she realized where they were. "Where's Jim?" she asked. Jim was Cole's stepdad. Cole shook his head. "He started working a different shift today. Three in the afternoon to one in the morning," he answered.

"Sarah?" Lissy asked. Sarah was Cole's half-sister.

Cole smirked at her. "She has a girl scout meeting tonight. We have to pick her up at eight."

Almost two hours, Lissy thought, that's how much time they had alone... in a bed.

She pushed Cole back, pressing him against the wall, standing on her tiptoes so she could kiss him. It seemed he just kept getting taller, whereas she had topped out at five feet eight inches in the tenth grade. His hands were running down her body and past her hips. As his fingers curled down to find her legs, he cupped her butt and lifted her into his arms. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer. She'd never gotten used to all the muscles Cole had now, the ease with which he could lift her, carry her... maybe in her wildest imaginings, subdue her.

Her image of him was still a seven-year-old boy with messy hair that would tackle and throw mud, or a thirteen-year-old boy with a suddenly deeper voice and whiskers on his chin, that boy that sometimes blushed in her presence, like when he saw her wearing a dress for the first time. This fully grown man felt so new, so exciting.

Her breathing ratcheted up a few notches as Cole kissed down her neck. She let her fingers run through his silky hair. She hoped he would never cut that hair. He promised to leave it long through college at least, but said he'd have to cut it when he got a real job. She couldn't imagine a job worth cutting those locks and had told him so. He laughed and called her oversentimental.

Cole carried her down the small hallway towards his bedroom. It was dark and he stumbled on some toy Sarah left on the floor, half slamming Lissy into the wall. "Damn it," he muttered. Lissy let out an "umph" from hitting the wall at the same time she laughed.

"This was supposed to be gloriously romantic," Cole said as he fumbled with the doorknob to his bedroom.

It had been, Lissy thought. Cole had surprised her, picking her up from the cell phone store where Lissy was working the summer before they went to college. He had been waiting in the parking lot with a dozen white daisies. In their haste to get inside she'd left them in the front seat of his truck.

As he stepped into his dark bedroom, she kissed him slower, lingering on his bottom lip. She pulled it gently, before releasing it when she exhaled. "It was romantic," she sighed as he laid her gently on the bed. He kicked off his dirty work boots and crawled atop her. He worked at a feed store, stacking hay bales and hauling fifty-pound bags of livestock food to customer's trucks. He always smelled like a summer field that needed harvesting.

"You should take a shower," she blurted.

He made a funny face and then smelled his armpit. "Do I stink or something?"

She bit her lower lip, the idea crystallizing in the pit of her stomach. Lissy was bold, though, and never backed down. She raised an eyebrow. "I'd like to take a shower with you, I mean." Cole sucked in a breath and then nodded. He rose from the bed, disappearing into the small bathroom attached to his room. Lissy's stomach tensed when she heard the water start.

The bathroom seemed harshly lit compared to the rest of the house. She blinked twice as she entered and then again as she saw that Cole was already down to his underwear. He wore grey boxer briefs that accentuated his strong thighs and tight butt. God, he was tan and muscled. They so rarely got to see all of each other in full light. The idea made her insanely nervous. They'd had sex hundreds of time, but she almost always kept a bra or undershirt on. They always had blankets over their shoulders, the cover of night. He'd explored the territory, but never really seen the whole map so to speak.

She closed the door behind her, falling back against it as it clicked shut. The water was beginning to steam as he pulled the curtain around the tub and turned to her. She knew her lower lip was quivering as he approached. She twitched as his hands came to her sides. Her skin felt suddenly hyper sensitive as he leaned down and kissed her intensely. His hands tugged at her shirt, but she jerked them to a stop.

"You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen or touched, Lissy," he whispered. "Don't be scared of me."

Of course he knew she was nervous. He could read her like a book. The sudden thought of a little kid's picture book, one of those "touch and feel" sensory ones popped into her head. She laughed, causing him to lean away from her with a smile.

"What?" he asked.

She bit her lower lip, feeling suddenly relaxed again. "Nothing," she said as she raised her arms and let him slip the red work polo over her head. He sucked in a breath as he saw the white lace bra. "That's new," he said, lust clear in his voice.

An ear-to-ear grin spread on her face. She knew he'd like it. "I bought it last weekend. For you," she said. She leaned into him, kissing just below his earlobe. "There are panties to much."

He sucked in a quick breath, his fingers immediately falling to her black slacks. His hands traced down her thighs, behind her knees and calves as he slid the pants to the floor. She ran her hands through his hair, tugging it when he kneeled at her feet. When she spread her legs to step out of the slacks, he kissed the side of her left knee at the same time he thumbed off her socks. He looked up to her, his eyes full of expectation; seeking an answer to a question he'd asked two weeks before. She nod almost imperceptibly as he stayed kneeled and reached for the sides of her underwear. He pulled them down to the floor and she stepped out of them just as his mouth found her inner thigh.

He kissed upwards slowly, his hands following not far behind. As his mouth closed over her wet core, he steadied her thighs with his strong fingers. She was shaking from nerves. This was the one thing she hadn't allowed Cole to do. She was terrified she would stink or taste bad, but he'd been adamant he wanted to try.

She let her head fall back against the door as he continued to kiss and lap at her. Her fingers dug into his hair as he leaned infinitesimally away from her and exhaled. She shook, but now it wasn't from nerves. She tugged his head back to her, felt him smile as he licked her once again. At some point she was moaning too loud to hear the water pouring from the showerhead. At some point she felt her body give to him, pouring out liquid heat onto his tongue. He kissed back up her body and half carried her to the shower and washed her, lathering the soap into his hands and caressing all over her body. Then he came into her and found his own bliss.

"You didn't use a condom," she said later as they lay sated in his bed. She was tracing a finger across his bare chest as he read a magazine about cars. Only minutes remained before they had to go pickup his little sister.

He shook his head absently, but then jerked to face her. "You're taking your pills, right?"

She nodded. She'd been on birth control for months. Cole had even gone to the gynecological appointment with her; studiously nodding his head at the doctor's every word. "Of course, you've just never done that before," she answered. She was still tingling from the after effects. Him coming inside her had felt really good, better than she'd imagined. She'd honestly believed that it would be, well, nothing but messier.

He licked his lips and smiled. Tossing the magazine overboard, he slid down under the covers with her. He kissed her nose and then her lips, forcing them to part for his tongue. He leaned away, grinning widely. "I got carried away," he whispered. "God, I've wanted to taste you for so long."

She curled up her nose. "What was it like?" she asked nervously.

He shrugged his shoulders, still smiling. "Sweet. Maybe a little salty."

"So... like a chocolate covered pretzel?" she asked, teasing now. She couldn't deny the fact that he looked well pleased. That fact made all her inhibitions disappear.

He smiled. "Yep, exactly like a chocolate pretzel." He kissed her on the lips, her nose, and both her eyelids and cheeks. She laughed from his pecking.

"You're more musky," she said when he finally leaned away.

His face screwed up in thought. "What does musky taste like?"

She laughed, shaking her head. "Like you I guess."
When they loaded up into Cole's car and headed for Sarah's Girl Scout meeting, she didn't have a care in the world. She put her arm on the back of the seat and twirled the hair at the nape of his neck dreamily while he drove. Before he ran into the small convention center to fetch his sister, he leaned across the seat and kissed her. She watched his butt swagger inside his faded jeans as he crossed the parking lot. He looked back over his shoulder, catching her in the act, and smiled widely. She smiled back. Lissy's life at that moment was perfect.

Seven hours later, when her cell phone jolted her awake and she saw it was Cole that sense of peace vanished. "Cole?" she asked, her voice deeper from sleep.

"He's gone," Cole's harsh, too awake voice said.

She shook her head. "Who's gone?"

"Jim!" he shouted. "He fucking left us!"

"What?" she asked. She sat up in her bed, trying to understand what Cole was saying. She pulled the chain on her bedside lamp, immediately regretting the decision when the light shot through her eyes straight to her brain. "He left us!" Cole shouted from the phone. "He never came home from work. When I called up there to check on him, they said he resigned last week and they haven't seen him since!"

Lissy shook her head. "What does that mean?" she asked stupidly.

"It means he fucking abandoned us! I found a note addressed to Sarah in his bedroom!"

"What does it say?"

"It says-" his phone sounded like he was shuffling it from one hand to the other- "Baby girl, I'm sorry I have to do this, but I do. I met a beautiful woman and we're going to start a family together. I love you. Cole will take good care of you. He always has. Call your Aunt Maggie if you need anything. Jim." The phone sounded like it was shifting again, rubbing against fabric and then she heard Cole mutter, "That stupid son of mother fucker asshole."

Lissy's head was spinning. "Cole..." She stopped, not knowing the first thing to say to her best friend. "I'm coming over," she finally finished. She left a post-it note for her granddad, explaining what had happened, stuck to the coffee machine where she knew he'd find it.

When she walked into Cole's house he was sitting on the sofa. His elbows were on his knees and he had one hand braced against his forehead as he stared at the ancient carpet beneath his feet. She sat down beside him, rubbing a hand across his shoulders. He collapsed against her and cried. It wasn't the first time she'd seen him cry, he balled like a baby when he broke his arm in the seventh grade, but it was the first time she'd seen him cry because he was... heart broken.

She rubbed his shoulders gently as he hugged her waist. She buried her nose into the hair at the base of his skull. She laid her cheek on his shoulder, wishing she could absorb some of his pain into herself. "Maybe he'll come back?" she asked quietly.

Cole shook his head. He let out a large puff of breath that she felt on the skin of her stomach. "All his shit is gone," he said. "He must have left this morning after I dropped Sarah off at her friend's house and went to work." Sarah would have gone to Jenny's. Jenny had one of those amazing mothers that only happened in TV sitcoms. Her name was Andrea. She was a schoolteacher, which meant she had summers off. She spent that time volunteering with the Girl Scouts as the girls' den mother.

Cole sat up, letting out a sigh as he slumped against the couch. "I never go in to his room. I didn't notice a damn thing." He ran a hand through his hair, leaving it buried in the middle while he thought. "He lied to me. He never had a different shift at the plant. He lied to me so I wouldn't notice him gone earlier in the day."

"I'm sorry, Cole," Lissy said. She was biting her lip, trying to stop from crying. She didn't want to panic and bring her own fears to this situation, but she knew everything had changed; nothing would be the same ever again.

Cole grabbed her hand and twined his fingers with hers. He sucked in a long breath; he raised his shoulders as he inhaled and then let them fall back down. He licked his lips. "It's alright. I have the money from mom's insurance money. We'll be fine." Cole's mother had died when Sarah was born. She had hemorrhaged and bled out. Cole was eight years old when it happened. Lissy, understanding the loss of a mother, had stayed glued to his side for over a week. Her granddad had brought them food three times a day and checked on them in the tree house. The funeral was the worst. People kept touching Cole when they said their condolences. Each passing person made him cringe a little more until finally Lissy stood in front of him, blocking people from getting too close.

It was almost two years later when a lawyer came to their house and told the family that Chloe had not changed her Last Will and Testament to include Sarah or Jim. Everything fell solely to Cole. After the insurance and a few family holdings even Jim hadn't known about, Cole had around $125,000 left to him. It was secured in an account under his name and carefully guarded by a man at the bank, an "executor" he had called himself. The money would be held in that account until Cole turned eighteen. At that point he could do whatever he pleased.

If Jim had been upset about the exclusion, he hadn't shown it. He was distant, but then he had always been a distant father. Baby Sarah had gone to daycare from almost the moment she was born, the owner making an exception to her "nothing under six weeks old" rule because she had known Chloe. Cole picked up the infant everyday as they walked home from school. Lissy remembered learning how to warm up formula in a bottle, swaddle a baby, and change diapers when she was eight years old, same as Cole. Her granddad showed them how to wipe the tiny little pink butt front to back so as not to spread poop germs when they brought Sarah over one day. Her granddad patiently taught them how to be parents, occasionally asking about Jim and then sighing and shaking his head.

Jim wasn't cruel. He didn't beat them or berate them or show much emotion toward them at all. He had fresh eggs, milk, cheese, and bacon in the refrigerator every Monday, along with two loaves of bread and peanut butter in the kitchen cabinet. There was never any variety in the meals that Cole cooked for himself and Sarah, but they were never starved.

"He's like a roommate," Cole said once when they were waiting outside Sarah's kindergarten. She was playing with friends on the playground long after the bell ending the day had rung. Lissy and Cole waited patiently as she went up and down the slide "one more time."

Lissy remembered the conversation with perfect clarity, because Cole so seldom spoke about the fact that he was basically raising his little sister. "Maybe you should try and find your grandparents?" she asked. Her own mother had been a complete failure, dying of an overdose. In her experience, you had to skip a generation to find a loving family member.

Cole shook his head. "Mom always said they disowned her when she got pregnant with me at sixteen. They kicked her out of the house."

"Your dad, his parents?" Lissy mumbled hesitantly. Cole's absent father was never a good subject to talk about.

He let out a snort through his nose, shaking his head. "Yeah, maybe if I knew his last name I could look them up," he said angrily.

"I'm sorry," Lissy huffed out. She didn't know what to say when he was like this. He was always the calm one, the strong one. She was the one prone to being overemotional and aggressive. She felt Cole's fingers on her chin. It was cold and windy, the fallen autumn leaves were blowing all over the place, but the skin where his fingertips touched her suddenly felt on fire. She sucked in a quick breath, feeling the heat extend to the pit of her stomach. Cole smiled. "It's okay, Lis. Jim is fine. I'm fine. We're fine."

Seconds later, they had shared their first kiss.

They were thirteen.

Now he didn't even have Jim and what little support he provided. Sarah was all Cole's now. "Who's Aunt Maggie?" Lissy asked, grasping at a thread she knew would unravel.

Cole let his head loll back on the sofa. "Mom's half-sister in Minnesota. She sends us a Christmas card every year. She always addresses it to Cole and Samantha, though."

"Samantha?"

Cole shrugged. "I guess she never bothered to actually learn Sarah's name."

"So... will Sarah go live with her? While we're in Europe and then college?" She asked the question quietly, maybe hoping he wouldn't hear it at all.

"I think plans have changed," he answered dully.

Lissy felt a tear roll down her cheek just as his grip on her hand slackened.
Everything changed so fast after Jim left, Lissy barely had time to understand it all. Cole immediately took control of his mom's money and made a budget. Cole was eighteen years old and he made budgets. That was the new fact of life. He poured over the bills that arrived in the mailbox everyday, quickly realizing that Jim was three months behind on the mortgage, four months behind on the water and electricity, a whole year behind on the property taxes. His bank account dwindled quickly. His part-time feed store job was replaced by full-time employment at the plant. He worked the last shift, one a.m. to seven a.m. Sarah spent nights at Lissy's house. Granddad even bought a futon and bright pink comforter for her and put it in the spare room.

Lissy hardly saw Cole. Sometimes he would surprise her with breakfast in the morning, but by the time she finished one McDonald's hash brown he'd be passed out on the couch, snoring loudly. Sometimes she would stretch out beside him and listen to his heart while he slept. She never told him that.

He was always tired, always exhausted. He never laughed or joked anymore. They never had sex. They tried once, but Cole said he was too anxious. Lissy didn't know boys could get "too anxious." She had laughed and received a look from Cole so cold it felt like a slap on the face. After that, she never tried again.

Still, she felt hopeful. Backpacking through Europe was definitely out, but Sarah could just move to Lubbock with them. The three of them could find an off-campus apartment. They'd be a little family, like they always had been. Lissy had already called the Texas Tech admissions office and informed them she would be coming in the fall, choosing not to defer the first semester as planned. She was sure Cole had made the same call. She tried not to notice how tense Cole got when her orientation packet arrived in the mail.

"Did you get yours?" she asked.

He half-smiled and nodded, turning his attention back to the football game on the television. Three days later he announced he had applied to work on a crew with Halliburton. "The money on the rigs is better, but the hours are worse," he chimed. Granddad said Sarah was always welcome at his home. "He'd start out a grunt," Cole said, "but he'd work his way up with time."

"That's good, son," her granddad said. Lissy heard all this as if she were in a bubble, their voices droning on like that teacher from Charlie Brown cartoons.

"But we're leaving in three weeks," Lissy finally said, interrupting the two men.

Cole turned sharply to her, his eyebrows caught in their worried arch. Granddad excused himself, heading into the kitchen. Lissy heard a racket of pans and pots as if he were purposefully being noisy. She turned her attention back to Cole. "We leave for Tech in three weeks, Cole."

He rubbed the back of his neck as he sighed and stared down at the floor. "I'm not going, Lissybug."

"What?" she breathed out. "What!" she screamed.

Cole looked resigned, as if this had long been decided. He shook his head. "I can't leave Sarah."

"So take her with us! I told you... I've been looking for apartments for the three of us."

He held out his hands to her, as if he desperately wanted a hug. She backed away a step. "How am I supposed to go to college and support my little sister? How?" he asked.

She shook her head violently. "We'll make it work. We always have."

His hands dropped to his thighs and his shoulders straightened. His cheeks were starting to flush red, which meant he was getting mad. "I don't want you to 'make it work,'" he grunted. "I want you to go to college and have fun."

Lissy dug her fingers through her hair, spinning away from him. She felt panic; it was a clawed hand gripping her chest and digging into her bones. She spun back to him. "You want me to have _fun_? What the fuck am I supposed to do there without you?"

The clattering from the kitchen suddenly stopped. Her granddad had probably never heard her curse, much less yell an expletive full force.

Cole flinched at her volume, but didn't hesitate as he answered. "Learn, earn a degree in photography like you want. Be amazing like you always are."

Lissy's heart fell. She actually felt it fall from high in her chest, down to her stomach and then felt it dissolve completely. She gasped. "What are you talking about?" she asked, feeling tears start to stream down her face.

Cole licked his lips. "I can't hold you back, Lis. I can't. I'm stuck here and all you've ever wanted is to get out of here, travel the world, take pictures, do great..."

"What are you talking about?" she screamed the question again.

He carried on as if she wasn't screaming and shaking right in his face. "You'll come back on the holidays and summers and if it's meant to be..."

She slapped him so hard he staggered back. He held a hand to his cheek, covering the red welts made by her fingers. His eyes were wide with shock.

"You're a liar!" she screamed. "You're a damned liar! I asked you if you received your orientation packet, if you'd called the admissions office and you lied to me!" The last accusation came out like a feral growl.

"I just didn't want to upset you, Lissy."

She screamed, probably scaring half the neighborhood. She saw her granddad pass across the doorway, grab his jacket and head out the backdoor. "Is this a joke?" she muttered, her rage and fear suddenly dissolving into something much worse. It felt like hopelessness. It felt like an ending. She knew she was crying when Cole stepped towards her and wiped away the tears with his thumbs. He leaned forward, kissing her forehead. He was shaking.

"I'm sorry, Lis. I can't afford college. The money ran out faster because of Jim's debts."

"You're still accepted, though," she said. "We both deferred the fall semester, so you can come in January."

He hugged her close, his arms tightening like a vice around her shoulders. "Yeah, maybe. I'll make good money in the oil fields."

"Then you'll come," she said weakly, as if she were just speaking to herself.

"Yeah, maybe," he said again.

The next two weeks were a fog. Cole worked days at a time, coming home even more exhausted than he used to from the plant. He reeked of grease and oil even after he took an hour-long shower. Sarah practically lived at her friend Jenny's house, though she came home to sleep on the futon at Lissy's every night Cole was working.

Lissy had never felt so alone in her whole life.

She met Cole the same day she moved to her granddad's house, one week after her whole life imploded when she found her mother dead on the floor of the kitchen, suffocating on her own vomit. She was six years old when she met Cole and had spent a part of everyday since with him... until he got the job with Halliburton. She hated the job. She hated everything his choice to take the job represented and consequently, even though she would never admit it, she hated Cole a little bit too.

She hated that he wasn't going to college with her. She hated that he was so tired it seemed like he ignored her when he finally dragged in. She hated the fact that in five more days, she would be separated from her best friend for the first time in twelve years. She hated the aching sense of abandonment.
Cole had a rare night off two days later; they were headed to a party at Monty's house. Monty was the wild child of their group, though he often pointed the finger back at Lissy over the title. Lissy was daring, yes, but Monty was crazy. It helped that his parents were always missing in action, on business trips or "quick getaways" to the lake.

He was also Lissy and Cole's only wealthy friend. He lived on the other side of town, in a two-story house with big white columns. The first time Lissy had gone into the house she was scared to touch anything, confident she would break, tear or stain something she couldn't afford to replace. Monty used to live in the poor neighborhood with Lissy, Cole and their other two closest friends, twin brothers Dallas and Chase. But when they were all in the third grade, Monty's mother married a guy named Stephen who owned the Chevrolet dealership on Main Street. Monty and his mother moved into his house. He would have had to switch schools, but Monty pitched a fit. Somehow, Stephen was able to get Monty approved as a "transfer" so he could stay with his friends.

Cole reached for Lissy's hand as they walked up the sidewalk framed by expensive green shrubbery. The bass was pumping so hard inside the home, the front windows were rattling. Monty burst from the door wearing only underwear and a purple cape with black and white faux fur trim. "Cole and our Queen! Finally the party can get started!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. A whoop of laughter and applause exploded from inside the house. Monty winked at Lissy. "I didn't let them touch your vodka, Lissybug." He leaned in as if they were conspiring. "The commoners are only allowed the cheap beer. The good stuff is upstairs in my room." He winked again before parading back into his house.

"Jesus," Cole muttered over a smirk as he watched Monty start dancing erotically with a brunette who was more than willing. Lissy couldn't help but laugh. The brunette was Nikki Rodriguez. She was the only person in town wilder and louder than Monty. They were friends with benefits; at least that's how Nikki told the story. Lissy was pretty sure Monty had been smitten with her most of senior year.

Lissy was suddenly jerked off her feet and thrown over someone's shoulder. She could tell by the basketball shorts in front of her face that it was Dallas. "Put me down, Dallas!" Another pair of strong hands started tickling her sides. "Stop!" she yelled. "Stop, Chase!" The pair of boys laughed hysterically as they continued their torture. Dallas started spinning in a stomach-twisting circle, so she used the only weapon she had. She bit him hard on the side.

"Aach!" he yelled, before nearly dumping her on the ground.

The wide-eyed boy stared at his side and then her. "You bit me?" he asked.

She dusted off her shirt and nodded. "I'll do it again if you two try to manhandle me." She pointed a threatening finger, flicking Dallas's nose before turning to Chase. The football stars were twice her size, but she'd known them long enough they still thought she always had the upper hand.

"The tiny, hungry zombie is so mean!" Dallas said, smiling ear to ear.

She chomped her teeth at them, making them both laugh.

"Alright, alright," Cole said, appearing from somewhere behind them. "How about we actually go into the house, children?"

They were still standing on the front porch, dozens of curious eyes watching their antics from the foyer and living room. She grabbed Cole's hand and then looped an arm around Chase's neck. "Let's have a party!" she yelled.

Lissy danced. Lissy drank. She let her worries and fears slip further away with each song. Cole danced with her, kissing her to the beat of the music. He kissed her in a way he hadn't in months.

She leaned away from him flushed and drunk. "I need some air," she said. "I have to go outside or I'm going to pass out." Cole smiled and nodded. He leaned down next to her ear as another loud song began. "I'm going to go hangout with the guys. I feel like I've been ignoring them the past few weeks." Lissy wanted to say, "they're not the only ones," but she didn't. She was too dizzy from cranberry vodkas to worry.

She stumbled through the house, bumping into people, smiling an apology, before finally crashing into the sliding glass doors that led to the back deck. She sucked in a breath of cold, fresh air as she stepped outside. The chill woke her up slightly as she stared up at the stars. The sky was clear and the tiny pin pricks of light seemed infinite.

There would never be another party like this, with all her closest friends together at once. Monty was headed to Galveston A&M. "To study turtles," he had said, to which she replied, "More like studying girls at the beach." He had denied nothing. Chase and Dallas were going to TCU and Baylor respectively. She couldn't believe the twins were separating, that they might have to play each other during football season. Both had received scholarships, though, and they couldn't afford to go somewhere without a scholarship. And, of course, she was going to Texas Tech and Cole was staying here. Lissy turned back to the party before she started to cry. She didn't want to think about that right now. She couldn't think about that right now.

The music seemed too harsh to her ears when she reentered from the solitude of outdoors. She meandered through the crowd, talking to a few friends and dancing goofily with Chase and Monty before heading to the kitchen for another drink.

Standing leaned back against the counter was Cole. He was smiling nervously at the blonde, big-chested female in front of him. God, it was Heather Payton. She was head cheerleader by day, total slut by night. Lissy's heart jumped up to her throat. She was rarely put in the position of jealous girlfriend with Cole, but his emotional distance the last few weeks was making her paranoid. She edged around to the other doorway, where she could hear them speaking.

"No," she heard Cole laugh as he took a drink from his red Solo cup.

"Come on, just come up stairs with me," Heather cooed.

Cole shook his head. "No, Heather. I'm with Lissy."

"But she's going to Tech. You're staying here... I'm staying here..."

Lissy stepped from the shadows of the doorway, directly between Cole and Heather. She crossed her arms and glared at the blonde. "Get the fuck away from him, Heavy Breather." Lissy used the name some of the guys from school called Heather. It was an unkindness that started when she apparently had an asthma attack mid blow job on someone from the basketball team.

Heather's face turned so red it was almost purple. She spun on her obscenely high heels, whipping her Aqua Net doused hair in Lissy's face before barging through the crowd.

"Geez, Lissy. That was kind of harsh," Cole said. She turned sharply to him, poking him hard on the chest with her index finger. "Ow!"

"What are you doing talking to that skank?" Lissy asked.

"I wasn't talking to her. I was getting a drink and she cornered me!"

"And you were talking to her!"

"If someone asks me a question, I'm going to answer it, Lis. I'm not deaf and mute."

"I heard her ask you upstairs," Lissy huffed.

Cole's eyebrows shot up. "Then you also heard me tell her I'm _yours_."

That shut her up quick. That simple phrase implied a belonging, an ownership. It terrified her. What if he never came to Tech? Would she come back here? Would she marry him? Would they have kids? What the hell would she do if he wanted to stay _here_ forever?

Her vision spiraled and her skin felt suddenly tight and hot.

"Lissy?" Cole said as if from a distance.

She leaned to his right and puked in the nearest kitchen sink.

People jerked away from her as if she'd set off a bomb. She heard people saying words like "nasty," "disgusting," and "gross." Cole yelled back, "Get the fuck out if you don't want to see it!" She felt Cole's hands at her neck, holding her hair back. Then she heard Monty's voice yelling over the crowd, talking to Cole. Monty yelled, "Party's over! Get the hell outta my house!" People grumbled, but Monty, Chase and Dallas's voice followed them, herding any and all stragglers out.

Cole turned on the cold water so she could wash out her mouth. She clapped the cool liquid on her face, sensing Monty near her elbow. She always liked his expensive cologne. "You all right, milady?" he asked in his singsong way. She groaned in response, leaning her forehead against her forearm. She felt Monty's always cool hands rubbing her back and Cole's always hot ones at her neck and shoulders. "How about a hot shower?" Monty asked.

She felt her head nod and then Cole's hands were behind her knees and shoulders, carrying her upstairs to one of the spare bathrooms. He sat her down on a plush bench seat near the wall while he started the water. She let her fingers drape over the silky fabric of the cushion. Why did rich people have chairs in their bathroom, she thought. Whatever the reason, she liked the furniture. She wanted to lie down and she tried to do so, but Cole's hands stopped her. "Shower first, Lissy. Let's make sure you're done puking before you lay down."

She groaned again, leaning heavily against him as he pulled her to her feet. He leaned down, pulling off her shoes and socks before reaching for the button of her jeans. Her hands caught in his hair, pulling his attention up to her. "You've never said that. You've never said 'I'm yours' like that," she mumbled.

His brows tugged together. "I guess I thought it was obvious?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "We've never even called each other girlfriend or boyfriend, though."

Cole let out a short burst of air when he shook his head. "Jesus, Lissy. All that is implied. It's been implied since we hit puberty."

"Why is it implied?" she begged. She didn't know if she was needling for affirmation, if she actually doubted what he said, or if it scared her too much.

Cole finally stood, staring in earnest at her. His hands were on his hips. He bit his lower lip. "We've never been with anyone else. We're always together. I think everyone just understood we belonged to each other."

Lissy shook her head, raking a hand through her hair. She stumbled backward from the sudden movement. "I don't belong to you. I don't belong to anyone! I'm not some... cow!" Her mind swirled back to her early childhood. Her mother would talk for hours about her father, about how he left only because he "couldn't handle family life," but he really loved her. The poor woman had adored the man and he dumped her like week-old garbage. Lissy swore never to be _attached_ in that way.

Cole let out a long sigh and watched her carefully. "I never said that. You know what I meant or at least you would if you weren't drunk." His tone was edging towards angry. The longer she looked at him, the more she realized she _was_ dangerously attached to Cole. She was resentful, bitter, and angry that he wasn't going to college with her. She was _terrified_ of him not going with her, because she was scared to be alone.

She was just like her mother. As soon as that fact registered in Lissy's alcohol addled brain she only wanted to do one thing... run.
But goodbyes were hard, Lissy thought as she stood in that expensive bathroom staring at the only boy she'd ever loved. She had one night to say a goodbye and then she would cleave Cole away from herself. She was too scared not too.

She threw herself at him, wrapping her hands around his neck and pressing her lips against his. "Lis..." he tried to say. She drowned out his words with kisses. She consumed him, pushing him back into the hot shower with all their clothes on. She dug her fingers through his hair, tugging his head back so that he was pinned to the tile wall. She kissed down his neck and across his collarbone. "Christ, Lissy. You're up and down tonight," she heard him say.

She ran a hand down the front of his pants and smiled. "So are you," she teased, finally pulling a smile from him. She tugged at the hem of his wet shirt, jerking it over his head and off his arms. It fell to the shower floor with a plop, quickly followed by his belt, pants, and boxer briefs. He stood in front of her, naked and glorious. His mouth parted as his hands fell to her jeans again. He was always more gentle than her. He slid her pants and underwear down at the same time, raking his fingers slowly down her legs, taking her weight as she stepped out of them. He kissed up her legs, briefly touching between them as he stood and pulled her shirt off. Reaching with one hand behind her back, he deftly unclasped her bra and let it fall to the shower floor. He kissed her neck and just below her ear. Leaning in to whisper he said, "I am yours, Lissy Grant. I know you're scared of commitment, probably because of your mom... but I am yours. I love you."

A tear fell down her cheek, but was quickly hidden by shower steam. She was shaking as he kissed her gently on the lips. He leaned back, watching her with expectant, hopeful eyes. She wanted to say the words, but she was petrified. If she said them, she would stay with him. She would abandon her plans for Tech and enroll in the nearest community college. She would never leave him and they would never leave this town.

So she bit her lower lip and said nothing. Cole's eyes turned sad for just a fraction of a second before the corner of his mouth lifted in a resigned smile. Then he leaned in and kissed her deeply. She poured out her love through her body, hoping that would console him. He touched and kissed her everywhere, making her come in the shower before he carried her to the spare bedroom.

He slid into her with a single, deep thrust. His arms were beneath and above her, cradling her as he gently moved in and out. She let her eyes fall closed as heat began building in the pit of her stomach. She tingled from her toes to her scalp, the pressure building. Cole kissed her once, then twice before the fire shot from her stomach down between her legs, fanning out and over him. She let out a large puff of breath just as Cole tensed and she felt him come inside of her. His body shuddered and pulsed, sending waves of pleasure through her center.

He laid a chaste kiss on her lips, then her nose and both her closed eyes. She felt her body shudder as she began to cry. Still inside her, he put his hands on either side of her face, pressing his forehead to hers. He shushed her quietly, rubbing the pads of his thumbs over her cheekbones. "I'm so scared," she finally admitted.

"Of leaving or staying?" Cole asked. There was no accusation to his voice, just sadness.

"Both," she answered honestly.

He put on that small, reserved smile again as he rolled out of and off her. He laid a forearm over his forehead, staring up at the ceiling. It seemed like hours before he spoke. "We'll do our best, okay?" he finally said.

She nodded and curled into his side, falling into a troubled sleep.

The next day Cole was at work, so she packed.

The day after, he came home, dirty and exhausted, just as she put her last box into the back of her ragged Civic. She had one hour before she left town, left her granddad, left her friends, left Cole.

"You okay?" she asked as he approached.

He smiled a little bit. "Yeah, I'm just tired. I tried to sleep in the truck a little bit, but assholes kept waking me up."

Lissy bit her lip to prevent a rude comment from slipping out. She just nodded, staring at a back tire. She kicked it. "I should have checked your tire pressure and oil," Cole said absently. "And I needed to replace your windshield wipers."

"Granddad paid to have it checked out at a shop. They did all that stuff," she muttered back. She could already feel the sting of unshed tears threatening behind her eyes.

Cole let out a long sigh and nodded his head. "Guess I'm going to have to get used to you not needing me, huh?"

"You could come with me," she said abruptly. She looked up at him, really looked at him. He seemed just as sad as her, but where she was pissed off he was accepting. "Come with me, please, Cole!" she begged. "Sarah could come with us. You can still defer a semester, but work up there. Maybe even Granddad could keep her..."

Cole shook his head and held up a hand, stopping her words. "I'm not pawning off my responsibility to anyone. Not your granddad and certainly not you."

She stepped up to him, grabbing fistfuls of his dirty shirt. "What are you talking about?" she cried. "I changed Sarah's diapers, I rocked her to sleep same as you. I dropped her off at kindergarten; I read her stories at night... all same as you! I need you, Cole. I need you there with me. I should have said it two days ago but I was scared shitless of becoming some needy, depressed wreck like my mother. Please! Please come with me!" She was crying so hard, her words were barely comprehensible when she finished the declaration.

Cole said nothing, but pulled her to him. He rubbed up and down her back with his hands. He was shaking, though not as hard as her. She felt him kiss her hair and her temple. "You're just scared of change, Lissy. You always have been," he finally said. "You're scared of change, you're scared of everything staying the same."

She jerked away from him. "Screw you," she spat. "SCREW you!"

She paced around the car and jerked open the driver's side door. She slammed it shut again. Pointing a finger she said, "This is on you! If this ends today, right here in the street... it's on you!"

He nodded his head, completely resigned to the fact, which quelled her anger a bit. She sagged against the car, closing her eyes as she cried. When she felt him near, she instinctively curled against him, nestling against his chest.

"I can't," she cried. "I can't go. I'll enroll at the community college. I'll wait for you."

"No," he said gruffly. "Don't you dare."

She looked up at him. His jaw and neck muscles tensed as he clenched his teeth. "I want to stay," she said.

He shook his head, his mouth falling open in dismay or shock. "No, you don't and I don't want you to. I want you to go and be amazing..."

"You keep saying that!" she seethed. "Be amazing. I'm _not_ amazing!"

"You've amazed my everyday since I met you," he said. "You're brave and crazy and you know exactly what you want. You've been talking about it since we were six. You want to travel the world; you want to work for _National Geographic_. I want those things for you, but I can't go with you." His eyes glistened with tears as he leaned in to kiss her roughly on the forehead.

"Not right now," she corrected.

He didn't nod or shake his head. He just stood there passively, staring down at her. "Say it," she demanded. "Say... not right now."

He looked to the sky as if he were in horrible physical pain. He licked his lips and inhaled. Looking back down to her he nodded. "Maybe not right now," he said weakly.

She shook her head violently. "This feels like a goodbye. This feels like an ending. I don't want to lose my best friend! You're my soul mate." She said the last words in despair. They were the last desperate act.

He clung to her, holding her close while his soothing hands ran up and down her spine. "You can never lose a soul mate," he whispered. "It's just not possible."

When she drove away, she didn't focus on the road in front of her. Her gaze was locked on the rearview mirror. Cole stood in the middle of the street, one arm outstretched in a wave above his head.

She looked for the boy she knew long after cresting the hill, turning onto Main Street, merging on to the highway and heading to her new life.

PART II

Edge of Evening

For we are what we are

So broke to blood

And the strict works of war

So long subdued

To sacrifice, that threadbare Death commands

Hardly observance at our busier hands.

Yet we were what we were,

And, fashioned so,

It pleases us to stare

At the far show

Of unbelievable years and shapes that flit,

In our own likeness, on the edge of it.

\- Rudyard Kipling

Something broke inside of Cole as he watched Lissy drive away. He stared at the road, begging for her car to come back, for Lissy to jump into his arms and promise she'd never leave. When she didn't return and the fact that he had all but forced her out of his life hit him, Cole crumpled to the asphalt. He sat there on his knees, realizing she was really gone and somehow knowing deep down she would never come back.

Lissy was always too bright. She shined out like a beacon, attracting people to her like moths to a flame. She was a natural cynic and avoided being a social butterfly, but the people she held close loved her. Monty had taken to calling her 'Queen' in junior high, because she was always the first to plan something, always the first to sway people to her side of an argument. She was a natural leader. She was Cole's leader. Jesus, she was his rudder, steering him through life, and now without her he was simply... adrift.

He let his head fall back as his hands fisted at his sides and let out a frustrated scream that probably scared the shit out of the neighbors. He buried his hands in his hair and let his head fall forward until it rested on the cold roadway.

"Come on, son," he heard an old voice say to him from the sidewalk. Lissy's granddad Jack stood with his hands in his slacks, staring at him with a wrinkled forehead and knowing half-smile. "Come on," he said, flicking his head toward the house. "You seem old enough for a drink."

Jack poured rich black coffee into two mugs, topping them off with a decent pour of whiskey. He plopped one steaming mug in front of Cole and sat down with the other. He took a sip, pulling his mouth into a line as he tasted the bite of the liquor. Cole lifted his mug to his lips and drank half in a single gulp. His throat burned and his vision swam. He hadn't slept in two days; he needed to take it easy. He still had to pick up Sarah at Jenny's house.

"I never liked you, you know," Jack muttered, looking out the window to the road. Maybe he was waiting for Lissy to suddenly come back too. He took another sip of his drink. "I thought you'd knock her up and leave her for dead like what happened to my girl," he said calmly. "Her mother," he amended with a raised eyebrow. "But the older Elizabeth got, the more I realized it was the other way round." He smiled, took another sip, sat the mug down on the old table scratched from years of use. "She has a way, doesn't she?" he asked.

Cole nodded, knowing exactly what he was talking about.

"Marietta, my wife, died two years before Elizabeth moved in. They are a lot alike. Mari had that spit and vinegar that made boys cower and beg for more all at once."

"She's not coming back," Cole muttered, giving voice to his fears. "Once Lis sees everything out there, she'll never come back."

Jack nodded his head. "Maybe," he said. He shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe not." He breathed in deeply; his chest rose and then slowly lowered as he exhaled. "I sure appreciate you giving her the choice, though. It would have been real easy for you to be a coward and tell her to stay."

Cole's heart clenched. He didn't know what to say to that so he simply hummed a "yes 'sir."

The corner of Jack's mouth bent up into a sad smile as he drank more coffee. Cole drained his cup, standing to rinse it in the sink. "I've got to go get Sarah."

Jack nodded. "You and that baby girl don't be strangers. You're always welcome here. I'll be a bit lonely, so if you need me to watch little Sarah while you work I can. I don't have many shifts anymore." Jack worked at the garden center in Wal-Mart as a greeter. "They say I'm too old to work. Hell, I can smile at a stranger and ask them how their day is. Am I too old to do that?" he laughed.

"No, sir," Cole said as he backed out of the door. Jack was a pistol just like his granddaughter. Cole suddenly wished he'd spent more time with him when Lissy was there.

That first day, Lissy called as soon as she arrived in Lubbock. Cole had slept all day and she woke him just before sunset. The relief in his chest was insurmountable. She was away but not _away_ from him. She had called first thing. She told him about the drive and how she almost got a ticket in Brownfield. "The cops have it out for college kids there," she said. "At least that's what my RA told me." She asked about his day, which was a boring story because it consisted of wallowing in self-pity and then sleeping. He left out the wallowing part. As he walked out to his truck, headed for the rig, she said, "I'll talk to you tomorrow." He said, "I love you," and waited for a response. When none came he said, "Goodnight, Lissy." Then he went to work.

Everyday for a month they talked on the phone. "Her schedule was a bitch," she said, "but she liked most of her professors. Her roommate slept all the time, but at least she was quiet. Her RA was nice." He was a dude, which alarmed Cole at first. He had no idea she was living on a co-ed floor. He tempered his paranoia with the fact that Lissy was terrified of commitment and dating, much less cheating. She had never wavered from him their whole lives, so she wouldn't do it now.

But then the calls started coming every other day. Then it was once a week. Then it was once a month. "Her schedule was intense. She had final projects due," she said. "She had exams to study for." She skipped coming home at Thanksgiving, so by the time her scheduled Christmas break rolled around, he hadn't spoken to her in three and a half weeks and hadn't seen her in four months.

When he got home from a particularly grueling overnight shift he tapped her number into his phone and waited. It was 7:15 in the morning, but Lissy had an eight a.m. class.

"Hello?" a deep voice drawled.

Cole's eyes jerked open at the stranger's voice. He held the phone away from him, checking to make sure he had dialed the right number.

"Who is this?" he finally asked.

"Ethan," the voice answered.

"Umm, is Lissy there?"

He waited impatiently as the phone was handed off. It sounded like it dragged across fabric. Jesus, was Lissy in bed with someone?

"Hello?" she said. Her voice didn't sound groggy, like she'd been asleep. Cole let out a sigh of relief he hadn't known he was holding. Still, he couldn't hold back his accusing question. "Who the hell was that?" he asked.

There was a pause. "Ethan," she answered. "My RA."

"Why is he in your room this early in the morning?"

"What?" she asked.

"Why the fuck is he in your room this early?" Cole repeated. He was too tired to be having this conversation. He was short-tempered.

The phone shifted like she was holding it to her chest. Cole heard her muffled voice say something. There was the sound of a door opening and closing, before he heard her raise the phone back to her mouth. "You have no right to talk to me like that, Cole."

"I just want you to answer my question, Elizabeth."

Another pause.

"He's helping me study for my Chem final today. It's brutal and I needed his help."

"All night?" Cole spat. "I bet he helped you."

"Excuse me?" she half yelled.

Cole said nothing. He suddenly felt drained beyond belief, like he'd run a mile only to find out he had to run ten more.

"I didn't cheat on you, Cole. I would never cheat on you."

"I haven't heard from you in almost a month, Lis!"

"I've just been busy... I texted," she mumbled in reply.

"Texting? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Stop yelling and cursing at me!" she yelled.

He closed his eyes. The morning sun was too bright, even for December. He had a headache the size of Alaska. "When do you come home?" he asked, trying to change the subject.

There was an insanely long pause where he heard nothing but shuffling papers. "Umm," Lissy mumbled. "I wanted to talk to you about that tonight. I'm not coming home."

Cole's whole body went stiff. "Why not?" he asked.

"I got a job, working with one of my professors. I'll be developing photos for her. She's teaching me all about the dark room equipment. It's a great opportunity..."

"You're not coming home?" he asked desperately. He tried not to notice how she didn't ask if he was coming there in January. She'd given up asking that question sometime in October.

"No," she finally answered.

All of Cole's worst fears collapsed onto him at once, suffocating him. He knew this was going to happen the moment she drove away, but tried to be optimistic after she called so much that first month. He let out a huff of air. "You're not even coming home to see Jack?"

The sound of more shuffling papers. "No, I told Granddad about the internship a week ago."

Her words cut deep. She hadn't outright lied, but she'd withheld the truth.

"Why the hell wouldn't you tell me sooner, Lis?"

"Why didn't you tell me you weren't coming to Tech sooner, Cole?" The question erupted like it had been festering inside her for months, maybe it had been. He heard her sigh. "I've got to go to class. I'll call you later." Then she hung up the phone without saying goodbye, without saying I love you... like always.

That night she didn't call.

That week she didn't call.

By January she hadn't called.

By February she hadn't called.

On Saturday March 5th, Cole got drunk, picked up the most willing bar hag he could find and fucked her. He couldn't take her home, because Sarah was there with a babysitter, and he didn't dare take her to his and Lissy's abandoned truck or tree house. He settled for a dirty wall in the alley behind the bar. It was the first time he'd ever been with anyone besides Lissy. Afterwards, the girl teetered away to her VW Bug adjusting her mini skirt while he slumped against the door pillar inside his truck and cried for an hour.

The next Friday he did it again, but without the crying.

Good, bad, college co-eds, married women, red heads, blondes, brunettes... they all spread their legs for Cole. As it turned out, he was pretty good-looking, a fact he'd never realized all through high school because he only ever wanted Lissy to be the one doing the looking. He was also charming and knew exactly what to say to get a girl to like him, no doubt another consequence of his best friend being a girl his entire life. So, in a way, Lissy turned him into a man whore.

As Cole took another long pull from his beer, he caught a leggy blonde eyeing him from the corner of the bar. Lissy made him into this. Lissy made him the perfect weapon against women. It had been three years since he spoke to her, three long years of drinking, fucking, and making as much money as he could out in the oil fields.

The leggy blonde bit at her fingernail while her friend whispered something in her ear. They both giggled and stared at him, quickly turning away when he stared back. Cole shook his head and finished his beer. Guess she's the one for tonight. He flicked a few bills on the gritty bar and sauntered over to her.

"Good evening, ladies," he said in that long, low drawl that he knew women loved. The pair giggled again, smiling at each other before turning to him with wide eyes and partially open mouths. Scratch that. _They_ were the ones for tonight. It had been a while since he had two at a time. He liked threesomes because they never belied even an ounce of intimacy. Threesomes were fucking and nobody ever thought other wise.

"Good evening," the blonde said with one eyebrow raised.

Cole took the seat next to her. "Can I buy you ladies another drink?" he asked. He bit into his lower lip when he asked the question, like he wanted to say more. He didn't want to say more, but he knew the gesture made girls cream their panties. He read just enough books to know it had something to do with a douche named Mr. Grey. The leggy blonde and her less leggy friend smiled and nodded in unison. "What'll you have?" he asked.

"Whiskey sour," said Leggy.

"Lemondrop martini," said Less Leggy.

Her order made Cole hesitate; it was Lissy's favorite drink. His hand paused mid-air when the bartender approached. He raised an eyebrow when neither Cole nor the girls made an order. Cole cleared his throat, shaking his head. "Whiskey sour and some lemon drink," he said.

"Lemondrop martini," Less Leggy corrected.

The bartender nodded and went about his business.

Shaking his head once more to gather his wits, he turned back to the girls. "So," he said with less long, low drawl. The sudden reminder of Lissy had shaken him too much. He hated that feeling. "What are you two beautiful lasses doing in a town like this?"

They giggled. Obviously they hadn't noticed the tension in his shoulders or change in his voice. "Lasses?" said Less Leggy.

She was out. She was too smart, too sassy, and reminded him too much of...

"We're here visiting my aunt," said Leggy. She ran a hot pink fingernail down Cole's forearm, turning on her barstool so that Less Leggy was completely obscured.

Cole raised an eyebrow. "You got stuck here? That sucks," he said as the bartender arrived with their drinks. Less Leggy snatched hers up and quickly walked away to stare into the jukebox. Good riddance.

Leggy pouted like a toddler, her lower lip stuck out, begging to be sucked. "I know, right?" she asked. "My mother and father insisted! So here I am."

Excellent. She had said 'mother and father' not 'mom and dad,' which meant she was a rich girl. She had also said they 'insisted,' which meant she was out to have a good time just to piss them off. This was Cole's kind of girl. He leaned closer, taking in a deep breath. She reeked of expensive perfume. He didn't like it.

"Well, I _insist_ that you let me show you a good time tonight," he half whispered, again biting his lip as he looked from her lips to the low cut neckline of her shirt.

He'd learned that some women, at least the kind he was now interested in, wanted men to be direct, like they couldn't contain their caveman sexual needs around them. It made them feel attractive. Of course, it only worked on women with their own agenda in mind anyway. That's why he always went for the super confident chics. Cole didn't want breaking some naive girl's heart on his conscience.

"Well... I insist you do just that," answered Leggy. She flicked her tongue in and out of her mouth, inviting him to kiss her. He leaned from the bar stool and closed the distance between them. She tasted like whiskey and cherry Chap Stick. She tasted better than she smelled, at least.

An hour later, Leggy shuffled out into the parking lot looking completely satisfied. Her cheeks were a bright red and her hair was tousled. He would have thought her amazingly attractive had she not just spread her legs for him in a back alley. She didn't attempt to give him her number... thank god.

After making sure that she made it safely to her little Mustang convertible, and that Less Leggy was driving, Cole went back into the bar. He ordered another beer just as Trey clapped him hard on the shoulder and set down beside him. "What in hell you up to tonight, boy?"

Trey always said 'boy' like he was fifty years older than Cole. In truth, he was six months younger. Cole shrugged his shoulders and answered by sucking down half a bottle of beer. Trey smiled and took a swig of his own. He turned to watch the pool tables. Cole knew what he was looking at. Two easy targets, dressed in polo shirts and khaki cargo shorts. They were rich boys, home from college with plenty of money to lose.

"Leave 'em be, Trey," Cole warned.

Trey took another swig and winked as he stood and approached the frat boys.

"Shit," Cole muttered to himself. He finished his beer and followed his friend.

"$100 says my bud Cole can beat you," Trey announced just as Cole approached. The two Frat boys stared at him and then at each other. With a quick nod, the one wearing a light purple colored shirt said, "Put up or shut up."

It had been payday today at the rig, which meant Trey and Cole were flush with cash. Trey pulled out a couple of hundred dollar bills and slapped them on the table. "Double or nothing," he grinned. The Frat boys shook their heads and pulled out their own wads of money, their allowances probably.

After three games and having won almost $700 from the boys, Trey called it a night. Cole and him were just turning away, counting their winnings, when someone grabbed Trey's arm. "Shit, here goes," Cole thought to himself as Trey turned back and punched a Frat boy in the face.

The boys fought hard, tagging Trey a good one and breaking a pool stick over Cole's shoulder before all four of them were shoved out of the bar onto the street. The colder air must have shocked the boys back to reality, because they spat on the ground and with a huff walked to their black Escalade without further ado.

"Hell, that was frisky," Trey said. He punched Cole lightly in the shoulder before waving goodbye and disappearing in the direction of his beat up old Chevy.

Cole pulled into his own driveway fifteen minutes later. There were lights on inside, so Sarah must still be doing homework. She was thirteen now, old enough to not need a babysitter when Cole was at work or out. Considering how Cole treated women, he didn't want to think about what else she was old enough to do now. He grabbed his keys from the ignition and shuffled inside, kicking off his muddy boots outside the door first.

Sarah looked up at him with disappointed eyes. He hated that look. "You smell like shit," she said to him as he collapsed on the sofa behind her. She had a textbook and notebook open on the coffee table and was sitting on the floor. "Thanks, lil sis. I love you too." He let his head fall back on the sofa.

"I need you to sign this," she said, shoving a piece of paper up on to his lap.

He looked down, bleary eyed at the slip of paper. It read, "Summer Soccer Club Enrollment Form. $25 due with parent and/or guardian signature by May 15." It said some other stuff about meeting every day during the summer, required clothing and athletic shoes...

"Since when do you want to play soccer?" he asked.

Sarah shrugged her shoulders. "Jenny's doing it."

Jenny was Sarah's best friend and proclaimed "sister from another mister." Cole nodded. "Sure thing, kid. Let me have a pen."

After he signed the paper he dropped five twenty-dollar bills with it on the table. "If you need a uniform or anything..." he said in explanation. Sarah scooped the cash up without question, stuffing it in the inner pocket of her backpack. She was a miser with money. Cole didn't have to worry about her wasting it. "You doing good at school?" he asked. Sarah nodded without looking back at him.

He leaned over the table and turned the book so he could see. She was reading about the Alamo. He snorted through his nose. "Lissy loved Jim Bowie," he said before thinking. Sarah stopped scribbling in her notebook and looked back to him. His casual mention of the never-heard-from-again best friend probably shocked her. "They have the same birthday. April 10th," he added.

Sarah turned back to her homework, fiddling with her pen. Cole let out a long sigh. "You're right. I do smell bad. I'm gonna go take a shower and hit the sack."

He hauled himself off the couch and headed for his bedroom. "Do you think she misses us?" Sarah asked to his back. He turned to find her staring up at him, still playing with the pen, clicking the tip up and down repetitively. He forced a smile. "Of course she misses you, Sarah. She loved you like a little sister."

"Then why didn't she come back? Why doesn't she call? Grandpa Jack says she's in Austin now." Sarah still visited Lissy's granddad. Having no known grandparents of her own, she had all but adopted the man. Cole hadn't seen him since the day Lissy drove out of town. He couldn't bear it. "She's graduating early... next December from UT," Sarah continued. "Do you think she'll come home then?"

Cole shrugged his shoulders in answer. He had no fucking clue what to say to the kid's question. He shook his head and didn't want to think about it. Even if Lissy came home, what would he do? She'd torn out his heart and ran over it with a fucking dump truck, set the remains on fire, and run them through a food processor for good measure.

Still, he would forgive her. He would forgive her anything. She would hate the guy he'd become in the last three years, though. "I don't know. I told you I haven't spoke to Lis in a long time." He sucked in a breath. "I've got to get some sleep, Sarah."

She nodded and went back to her homework as he trudged to the shower.
Three weeks later, Cole was pretty sure he was trapped in hell. He sat in a dingy police station with Trey in the seat next to him. They had been escorted from the rig only four hours into their shift. The boss would be pissed. The Frat boys from the bar had called the cops after the fight. "Fucking pussies," Trey muttered for the third time as they stared into the glass window of the detective's office. The "pussies" in question were sitting next to their fathers while they gave their account of the night. There was another guy, a lawyer by the looks of him, who was pacing the room. Thirty minutes later, the detective watched the group leave and with one raised eyebrow, waved Cole and Trey into his office. He sat down heavily in his desk chair. "You boys have screwed around and gotten yourselves in some shit."

"They grabbed me," Trey said.

The detective nodded with his whole body, the desk chair leaning back and forth with the motion. "Yeah, but you threw the first punch."

"What the hell?" Trey half yelled. "Damn, we didn't even hurt them!"

The detective shuffled the paperwork with the Frat boys testimony, looking closely at what he had wrote. "Mitch Manning says you punched him in the shoulder. It's aggravated his torn rotator cuff, an injury from 2006 that was corrected with surgery, and consequently could ruin his football career."

Trey fell back into his chair, looking disgusted at the potted plant in the corner.

"Sir, those boys attacked us after we beat them in pool fair and square," Cole added. He kept his tone calm and cool, because he knew public figures didn't respond to emotion.

The detective flicked off his reading glasses and nodded. "Which is exactly what Mitch's friend..." He held up the glasses and looked at the paperwork again. "Will," he said after finding the name. He put the glasses down and leaned back again. "Will said the same thing. Mitchell had himself a nice little tantrum after that."

"So are we in trouble or what?" Trey asked too aggressively. The detective looked at him with a frown. Cole wanted to slap Trey. Clearly the detective was on their side, but he wouldn't be if Trey kept up with the bad attitude.

"I've got two roughnecks who beat up two rich brats. Yes, you are in trouble," the officer sighed.

Trey leaned back in his chair, cursing the potted plant under his breath.

"What's our penance?" Cole asked.

"$500 fine and court mandated therapy sessions... that's the bargain from the boys' lawyer. Since it happened in a bar you'll be going to AA meetings."

"What the fuck?" Trey yelled. "I'm not paying a dime! Much less letting some shrink dick around in my head because two little jerk offs wet their pants during a fight."

The detective scowled. "That's what the lawyer offered at the lesser D&D charge which I _required_. You're both first time offenders so you got off easy. You want to try and fight this and you'll be charged with assault. You'll be slammed in prison for up to a year while it works its way through the courts. Then you could get more prison time. You want that, son?"

Trey jerked back in the chair so hard it scraped against the tile floor.

"No, sir," Cole answered for both of them. He couldn't go to prison. If he did, Sarah would become a ward of the state. She would be shuffled into foster care or group homes.

The detective gave an exaggerated nod. "Pay your fine. Go to the meetings. They've got doughnuts and coffee. It's not that bad," he said. He scribbled a few things on a piece of paper and then turned it to them. "John Hancocks right there." He pointed to a line with a yellow highlighted mark beside it.

"Will this go on our record?" Cole asked as he signed the paperwork.

The detective sucked in a bottom lip. "Fraid so, son. If you want it dropped completely, you could fight it. But, like I said, that will take time and be a pain in the ass. You boys got off easy."

"Yes 'sir. Thank you," Cole said as he let the idea of a criminal record sink in. He was turning into a real fucking loser... some role model for Sarah.

The detective shook their hands and told them they needed to register which AA meetings they were going to with the courts as soon as possible. Cole said thank you again. Trey stormed out of the station. The officer waved a hand, stopping Cole before he left. "I looked at your file. You don't need trouble. You got no one else for that little girl." The officer paused, looking down at his hands. "I remember when your step daddy left town. It was a damn shame." Cole nodded his head and left the office as soon as possible. Small towns, he thought. Small fucking towns where everybody knew everything.

"Momma's boy pussies," Trey growled as Cole stepped out of the police station. He was smoking down a cigarette like it was an asthma inhaler. Cole bummed one for himself, letting the nicotine soak into his esophagus and lungs before responding. "Let's get back to work. Otherwise we'll get fired today too," he said. Trey nodded and followed him to the truck.

Cole ended up working a double shift to appease the rig's boss man. If he hadn't just been given a promotion to Driller, he probably would have been canned. Luckily, the company didn't want to train someone else in First Aid, PPE, Personal Protective Equipment, and data logging. Cole had graduated high school with an almost flawless GPA and was one of the few roustabouts that could handle the extra work. In another life, he could have been well on his way to being a doctor, lawyer, or accountant. As it was, he was born poor with shit circumstances. It was what it was.

When he dragged in the front door, Sarah jumped up from the sofa. She was wearing a hot pink shirt that seemed too tight for her growing chest and Nike athletic shorts that showed way too much of her tan legs. Her chestnut hair was pulled back into a ponytail that swung as she walked. "You're late!" she practically screamed at him.

He looked at his watch. "Christ, Sarah, its 8:15 in the morning and summertime. What could I possibly be late for?"

She widened her eyes and let her mouth fall slack in an annoyed expression that only teenage girls can execute. "Soccer club, you retard. I'm fifteen minutes late!"

"The field is two miles away, you could have walked or rode your bike there," he argued. He was exhausted and grouchy.

"Yeah," she said. "That's just what I want to do, show up there all sweaty and gross."

Cole made an exasperated face and raised his hands. "It's a soccer club. You're going to _be_ sweaty and gross."

She growled and pushed him out the door all at the same time, shoving him in the driver's seat. They drove to the soccer fields and she hopped out of the truck without a word. He watched as she hugged Jenny, a cute little half-Asian girl with short black hair. Jenny was six inches shorter than Sarah and a little on the chubby side. Then two lanky boys walked up, one of them draping an arm over Sarah's thin shoulders. He smirked at her and she blushed. "Jee-zuz," Cole muttered watching the pair. He never realized the damn soccer club might be co-ed. No wonder Sarah didn't want to show up "sweaty and gross."

A loud knock on his truck made him jump. A young woman about his age, maybe a year older, with springy blonde curls all around her face was staring at him through the driver's side window. She had bright blue eyes and bow tie lips that looked like she was happy even though she was scowling at him. He cranked down the window slowly.

"You need to drop her off on time. It throws my whole schedule off," the woman barked. She smelled like fresh cut grass and... oranges.

"It's a summer club," Cole scoffed. "Not the Olympics."

Her cheeks got a little red and she closed her eyes just a bit, as if she were sizing him up. "Tardiness won't be tolerated. Get her here on time," she said before walking away. She had the cutest little apple-shaped ass Cole had ever seen. It swayed as she walked, taunting him. His eyes jerked to the steering wheel when she suddenly turned around, catching him in his voyeurism.
Cole fidgeted in the metal folding chair, holding a Styrofoam cup of bad coffee while he waited for his first AA meeting to begin. Trey was supposed to come with him, but had refused. If he didn't get his shit together, that guy was headed straight for prison. Cole didn't have the option of screwing around.

"Let's get started everyone," called out an older lady wearing a gingham print skirt and red hippie shirt. It had butterflies on it. "Welcome to the meeting. I see we have a few new faces in the circle tonight." She looked right at Cole. "Why don't you introduce yourself?"

He took in a deep breath. "Hi, I'm Cole and the state of Texas thinks I have a drinking problem." He'd said it sarcastically, hoping for a few laughs as an icebreaker, but everyone just nodded and said, "Hi, Cole."

He stayed quiet the rest of the hour, listening to everybody else's stories. The leader, Ms. Herming, looked at him expectantly a few times, but when he crossed his arms over his chest and clamped his lips shut, she looked away. A scrawny looking guy to his right bumped his elbow as the meeting broke up. "Linda said I'm your sponsor, so you're shit out of luck," he laughed. "Name's Nik."

They shook hands as Cole looked back to Linda, who he had Nicknamed Hippie Herming. "Sponsor? I'm only here for a few months, court-ordered."

Nik nodded his head. "Everybody gets a sponsor, man. Even the ones in denial."

Cole let the comment slide. He just wanted to do his time and get over the crime. He looked back to Nik, realizing for the first time that they were about the same age. "How long you been here?" he asked.

Nik smiled. "Off and on since I was sixteen. Alcoholism runs in the family. My dad drank and beat the shit out of me, so I started drinking to forget about it." Cole stepped back at the burst of private information. Nik rubbed the back of his neck and smiled awkwardly. "I also don't say much, but I'm told when I do it's too much." He shook his head. "I'll see you next week, Cole. Maybe you'll say three words instead of just the two?"

Cole smiled and nodded his head. He liked Nik for some reason. "Yes 'sir. I want to make sure I progress."

Nik clapped him on the shoulder as he headed back for the doughnut table. "See you then."

Cole stepped out of the community center doors and lit up a cigarette. It was midafternoon and already explosively hot. People said there might be a drought by the end of the summer.

"Those things will kill you, ya know?" said a sweet voice from behind him.

The young lady slash soccer coach was just stepping through the doors. She had on denim shorts, a Green Day t-shirt and white Converse with no laces and no socks.

Cole stubbed out the cigarette in the little stand filled with what looked to be cat litter. "Yeah, I've been told that, but I don't listen."

She raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow. "Obviously not. Sarah's been late to practice everyday this week."

"I don't get off work until 7:30. She knows she can ride her bike, but she doesn't want to mess up her hair. She's got some _boyfriend_ there with her." He hated the word boyfriend, especially in relation to his baby sister.

"Thomas," the young woman said. "I put them on separate teams because they were flirting."

Cole cringed as he leaned up against the cool brick wall. "Don't tell me that. She's my baby sister."

The young woman smiled. "Don't worry. Once they were put on opposite teams, she laid into him. Tripped him yesterday and stole the ball." She smiled then. Cole's breath caught in his chest it was so beautiful. She reached out a hand and said, "I'm Abby."

He took her hand, noticing how soft her skin felt. "Cole," he answered.

"I know," she said with a smile. "Your sister always calls you 'Cole the Eternally Late Imbecile.'"

Cole laughed. "Oh good, glad to hear she speaks glowingly of me."

"She says it with a smile, so I know she doesn't mean it. She's sassy, that one. She'll be a real man eater when she grows up."

Cole cringed again. He felt his forehead wrinkle and his eyebrows pull up sharply.

"What do your mom and dad think of her shenanigans?" Abby asked.

"Our mom passed and her dad ran off, so I have no idea," Cole answered honestly.

Abby's face fell and she stepped forward, laying a hand on his forearm. She felt warm. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

Cole was used to pity, but from her it actually felt genuine. The sentiment made him uncomfortable. "No worries," he said, straightening away from her.

"That's why you signed her permission slip?" she asked. "You're her guardian?" Cole fidgeted in his pant pocket for another cigarette as he nodded. He flicked the lighter and let the burn of nicotine slow his breathing. "How old are you?" Abby asked.

"Twenty-one. Mom died when Sarah was born. Stepdad left when I was 18. He'd already filed paperwork to relinquish parental rights and pass them off to me. Guess he had everything planned out."

"That sucks balls," Abby said.

He turned to look at her and couldn't help but smile. Someone as cute as her had to be smiled at if they said the word 'balls' with such nonchalance. He shrugged and turned to stub out the cigarette. He'd only smoked half, but he didn't want to rebreathe toxic fumes onto such a pretty face.

"So what are you doing here?" she asked, gesturing back to the community center.

"Court ordered AA meetings," he answered without hesitation. This girl was too cute to screw, so he might as well get rid of her quickly. "I got into a fight, punched a guy in his rotator cuff, apparently ruined his chances in the NFL, and was charged with Drunk and Disorderly."

Abby nodded. "Also sucks balls," she said with a smirk.

God, he liked this girl. She smiled again, practically lighting up half the world. She reached into her purse and pulled out a key fob with the letters BMW on them. With a click of her thumb, a little black car with the letters 318i on its trunk chirped out in the parking lot. "I've gotta go," she said. As she walked across the parking lot she looked back over her shoulder, again catching him admiring her ass. She winked at him and waved.

The next morning, even though he was exhausted from being on the rig all night, Cole stepped out of the truck and followed Sarah onto the soccer field. She whipped around and asked with as much suspicion in her voice as possible, "What are you doing?"

He raised his hands in mock innocence. "Watching my favorite sister play soccer?"

"I'm your only sister," she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Then you're doomed to be my favorite, Sprout."

She stood there staring at him with her eyes in slits. As Abby bounced by in too short running shorts, his eyes fell to her...

"Oh gawd," Sarah mumbled, letting out a long huff of breath.

Cole's eyes bounced back to his now clearly irritated sister. "What?"

She shook her head. "She's way out of your league."

"What are you talking about?" he asked, feigning indifference.

"She graduated in May and she's working here to get some kind of credit for her Master's degree program, big brother. You don't have a chance."

Cole rubbed the back of his neck. Those facts paired with how gorgeous Abby was did make her intimidating. "So," he said. "I'm good with the ladies."

Sarah laughed. "Yeah, with bimbos and sluts."

"Sarah!" Cole said, suddenly angry, with himself or his sister he didn't know.

She shrugged her little adolescent shoulders and looked impervious to his scowl. She let her hands fall to her thighs. "Fine!" she said as if she were giving permission. "Just don't make a scene in front of my friends."

"When have I ever made a scene?"

Sarah's eyes went wide and she took a step forward. "Half of my friends have older brothers and sisters, Cole. They all know about Lissy and your... meltdown."

Cole scanned the crowd of pre-pubescent teenagers. Jesus, were they really talking about him? "What the hell does that mean?" he asked under his breath.

Sarah raised her shoulders and let them drop. "Well known fact that you're damaged goods, bro."

He leaned down to whisper, " I don't want you talking about me with your friends." He tried to take on a parental tone, one of warning, but Sarah was rarely affected by this tactic.

"I don't talk about you. They just _know_ ," she said.

"Sarah!" the boy now known as Thomas shouted as he popped out of a silver minivan in the parking lot. Cole's too honest little sister bounced away, her ponytail swinging. She hugged the kid and he hugged her back. Cole's eyes swept the field, wandering what all these little kids knew about him and his _meltdown_. He sparked a cigarette. "Small fucking towns," he muttered between drags.

Cole bent over and grabbed the soccer ball with one hand, flicking it into the net bag between him and Abby. "So..." she said, dragging out the vowel. "Word on the street is you're the local man whore?"

Cole jerked his head around, making sure none of the kids were nearby. They were all far across the field, clustered under a big Oak tree. "Geez, Abby. I hope you don't talk like that around my sister?"

Abby scrunched up an eyebrow. "No denial then. Interesting."

"Whom did you hear that from?" Cole asked as he reached for another ball.

"Whom?" Abby said in a teasing tone. When he didn't fall for the bait of the "yes I know you thought I was just a dumbass roughneck but I actually do know how to form a sentence" game, she smirked. He raised his eyebrows, waiting for the answer to his question.

"Wendy's older sister helped out last week. She recognized Sarah."

Cole dug through his memory. He didn't know a Wendy or her sister. "Apparently Michelle was in your same high school class." Michelle Deatrick, yep, now he remembered her. Cheerleader. Lissy hated that group. He'd slept with Michelle when she came home between her freshman and sophomore year at college. He'd slept with her roommate who was visiting too... that same night, in the same bed.

"So, now answer my question. Are you or are you not a man whore?" Abby asked.

The question felt like a punch to the dick, but her tone didn't sound angry, just amused. "I get around, Abby. I won't lie."

"How many women have you slept with?"

"A lot," he answered honestly. He kept his eyes to the ground, searching for more soccer balls. Why the hell did he say that? Why was he always so damn honest when he talked to this girl?

She let out a low whistle.

"Ready to run now?" he asked, looking over at her.

She eyed him sharply and then smirked. "I'd have to be interested to be scared enough to run."

"So you're not interested?" he asked flirtatiously.

She shook her head. "Definitely not. Not my type."

"What type is that?"

She stopped, eyeing him from head to toe. "You've got a whole emotionally damaged, rebel without a cause vibe going. I'm not into that."

Cole let out a short laugh. "And what are you into?"

"Good guys," she answered.

"I'm a good guy," Cole scoffed. "I've got a job. I take care of my sister. I'm here volunteering with the youths."

"You're here because you like the way my ass looks in shorts," Abby half laughed, stopping him in his tracks. Any sarcastic remark he had flew away like a jittery bird. She pinned her eyes at him and smiled. "Try and deny it, Cole."

It was the first time he'd ever heard his name slip over her lips and, Christ, did it make his balls twitch. He smiled awkwardly. "I can neither confirm nor deny that statement," he said.

"Just as long as you know I'll never sleep with you."

"Is that a challenge?"

She grinned ear to ear, pulling the now full bag of soccer balls away from him. She tied the string at the top and hulked it over her shoulder. "It's a promise," she said with a wink.

She turned back around, her face a little more serious but still playful. She wasn't smiling anymore, though. "Besides," she said. "I head to Denton, to UNT, in August. I heard you don't do well with girls leaving town."

Cole shook his head. "No, I don't."

The corner of her mouth curled up into a sad smile as she turned on her heels and walked away.

For the next three days, Cole went to work, came home, avoided the soccer fields, slept, went to his AA meetings, and went back to work. He hadn't had alcohol or screwed around with a woman since being pulled into the police station and first meeting Abby.

On the fourth day, he said, "fuck it," into his rearview mirror and stepped out onto the field after dropping off Sarah. Abby smiled at him as he approached, but then looked down to the clipboard in her hands. "Thought you were avoiding me," she said.

"I was making a go of it."

She laughed under her breath. "How's that working out for you?"

"Not very well," he commented, his breath catching when she finally made eye contact.

After practice he helped her pick up the equipment while all the teens converged under the Oak tree, relishing the unsupervised moments before their parents arrived. "So have you ever been in love?" Abby asked.

"Jesus," he said with a half laugh. "Why do you always just blurt out these random questions?"

"Because I'm curious," she answered. "So, have you?"

He hesitated for the first time. He hated talking about Lissy. "Yes," he admitted. "Once."

"What's it like?" Abby asked.

"Seriously?"

She looked up and nodded, clearly intrigued by the subject.

"It..." he stopped speaking, blindsided by the sudden image of Lissy smiling beneath him just after they'd given each other their virginity. He cleared his throat, shaking the thoughts away. "It hurts like a bitch when it's over. That's about all I know," he finally answered.

"How many people have you dated?" Abby asked, steam rolling on to the next question.

"Dated or screwed?" he asked. "Because we've already covered one of those topics."

"Dated," she said, clearing up the matter with no sarcastic comment or remark.

"One," he answered.

"So you've only dated one girl and you've only been in love with one girl, but you've slept with 'a lot,'" she recited as if she were taking notes for a research paper.

"Yep," he said.

"She must have done a real number on you," Abby said as she reached down for the last loose ball.

"Yep," Cole repeated.

"Where's she at?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Last I heard she was at UT Austin. Her granddad loves Sarah. She goes over and says hello every now and then."

"Do you still talk to her?"

He shook his head.

"Email? Facebook? Myspace? Anything?" she asked.

He laughed a little at her overly serious face. "You want her social security number or blood type, Abby? Or maybe her food allergies... birthday... phobias? I know all that, but I don't know a damn thing about what she's been doing since she left for college. I haven't spoke to Lissy in three years."

"Lissy?" she commented, grabbing on her name.

Cole nodded. "Elizabeth Grant, but everybody called her Lissy."

"Everybody or just you?"

"Everybody," Cole answered. Then he added, "Some of us called her Lissybug or Queen. I called her Lis a lot."

Abby's lips clamped shut as she looked to the kids under the Oak. A few of them were wandering slowly to the minivans and sport utility vehicles now lined up in the parking lot. "You look like you're plotting something?" Cole asked.

She shook her head and smiled. "Nothing. I'm just curious." She stared out at the parking lot for a while and then asked, "You know her social security number?" Her face was all screwed up and adorable.

"Lissy's my best friend. We met when we were six and I spent everyday with her until the summer before she left for Tech. I know everything about her, except where she is now and why she left me."

Abby's face went from comical to sad all at once. Then she looked kind of pissed off. She lifted the soccer balls and began walking to her car. "See you Monday, Cole," she yelled over her shoulder, assuming he would be there.

He waved, but she didn't look back to see.
It was two Mondays and three days before Cole built up the courage to ask Abby on a date Friday night. It took an hour of self-reflection to realize why he was so nervous; he'd never been on a date before. Lissy was always there, right by his side. So even though they'd eaten with each other almost every night, and danced with each other at every party, he'd never asked her out on an official date. The girls since Lissy, well, he didn't want to dwell on his asshole behavior with them.

"Let me take you out tonight," he said to Abby as they busied themselves picking up the little orange cones used for running drills.

She laughed. "I told you I wasn't going to ever date you."

"No, actually you said you would never _sleep_ with me. Call me old-fashioned, but I didn't think one date implied sex."

She turned to him, her mouth open in a wide grin. "Call you old-fashioned? After what you've told me? Yeah, right."

She shook her head and bent down to grab another cone. Was it his imagination or did her legs get more gorgeous everyday?

"Come on," he begged. "I'll take you out to Olive Garden."

"Olive Garden," she repeated, feigning bewilderment. "And you don't even expect me to put out? Damn."

"One date, Abby."

"Not a chance, Cole." She smiled at him as she zipped the duffel bag with the cones and her clipboard inside.

"Lunch, then. Lunch isn't even a date."

She stood up with her hands on her hips. "Lunch can be a date."

"Not if you're all sweaty and wearing a sports bra," he said pointing to her.

She raised one eyebrow. "So it would be a date if I took off my sports bra?"

He sucked in a breath, unable to control the very male nod and smirk. "Definitely not. That would just be awesome."

She laughed out loud, tilting her head back so that her golden curls bounced against her shoulder blades. She took in a deep breath and shook her head again. "Can't do lunch. I have to go up to the community center to teach an Adult ESL class." Abby taught English as a second language to legal Mexican immigrants, another requirement of her Master's program or something. Cole was beginning to believe that Abby was just this amazing, busy body, do-gooder who honestly wanted to help everyone possible. He was just about to concede defeat when she said, "But... I could meet you for coffee in the morning."

"You know I get to sleep in one day a week, on Saturdays?" he asked, teasing.

She nodded her head. "Yeah, well, I don't sleep in ever. I wake up at 7 a.m. I'll be at the coffee shop by 7:30."

"I'll pick you up," he said.

She raised her eyebrows. "No, because if you pick me up that would be a date. We're not going on a date. We're meeting for coffee."

Cole let out a groan as he let his head fall back. Abby laughed out loud again.

The next morning, he woke up bleary eyed and anxious. Sarah had fallen asleep on the couch again. He kissed her on the forehead and woke her up gently. "Yeah?" she asked, half conscious.

"I'll be back in a bit. Going for coffee with a friend. There are fresh eggs in the fridge or cereal."

"Got it," she said, already falling back asleep.

"Why don't we go to the reservoir and fish this afternoon?" he asked.

Sarah cracked open one eye and said, "Why?"

"Can't I spend some time with my baby sis?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "You haven't in a while."

"Well, now I want to," he said, suddenly angry with himself for ignoring the only family he had left in the world.

"Yeah, alright," she said, with a big yawn. "Hey," she said as he was grabbing his keys from the kitchen table. "Instead of fishing, could we go to the animal shelter? You can go there and play with the dogs even if you don't want to adopt one."

Sarah loved animals. He always wanted to bring her home a puppy, but knew neither one of them was responsible enough to really care for a pet. "Of course, Sprout. We'll go there this afternoon." She smiled and looked suddenly younger, like the little kid sister he remembered before their stepdad and Lissy bailed. "I'll see you in a bit, kay?" She nodded and yawned again, sinking back into the old sofa cushions.

Abby was talking on her cell phone when Cole parked next to her. She was smiling and laughing; her face was radiant with happiness. Jealousy suddenly reared up, punching him in the chest like one of those cartoon hammers, his exaggerated heart-shaped heart stretching out the other side until it popped back in place. When Abby noticed him, she said a hurried goodbye and shoved her phone in her purse. They stepped out into the parking lot at the same time. She smiled warmly and gave him a quick hug, surprising him.

"Good morning," she chirped.

"Oh, God," he said with a smirk

"What?"

"You're a morning person."

She grimaced, but it still looked more like a grin. "Guilty."

He held the door for her as she breezed into the coffee shop. "Good morning, Steven!" she said as she walked toward the guy at the cash register. He was high school age judging by his lanky form and pimpled face. The kid blushed like a buffoon when Abby leaned over the counter and ordered "her usual."

"Coffee, black," Cole said when it was his turn to order.

"What?" Abby cried out. "No. No boring coffee black." She stared at the menu, sucking her bottom lip into her mouth as she thought. "He'll have a cheesecake Frappuccino."

Cole shook his head. "No self respecting man has a cheesecake Frappuccino."

Clearly the battle was lost, though, because Steven, the traitor, had already rung up the order and slid a "Members Card" provided by Abby through the register.

Abby turned, hopping on to the counter backwards. Steven checked out her ass.

"Are you implying that you don't like cheesecake?"

Cole studied her for a moment. The woman was notoriously nosy. "Are you implying that you know I _do_ like cheesecake?"

Abby smiled. "I may have asked Sarah." She turned and hopped off the counter just as Steven handed her something he called a Caramel Mocha Latte. She got a green stir stick and stuck it in her cup before heading to a leather couch against one wall. A minute later, Steven handed Cole the most girlish coffee he'd ever seen in his life. It was in a plastic cup with a half-pound of whip cream on top and strawberry syrup swirled in a delicate pattern. Steven said, "Here's what the lady ordered." Cole was pretty sure Steven was being a smart ass and calling him a lady, but decided not to call the little prick out on it in front of Abby.

He fell down into the soft cushions of the sofa as he took a big swallow. He took another taste and then held the drink up to admire it from all sides. Jesus, it was delicious. When he looked up Abby was smiling. "Admit that you like it," she said.

Cole shook his head and half laughed. "I admit that I like you, so for now I'll drink your dumb delectable drink even if I'm less of a man for it."

Abby's smile grew to the point of bursting right off her face as she tipped her latte up to her lips and took a long sip.
That afternoon, Abby accompanied Cole and Sarah to the city pound. They played with every puppy in the place and ended up going back a second time to donate a fifty-pound bag of dog food and some chew toys. Cole hoped for Sarah's sake that the puppies actually got to see the chew toys. She cried for an hour after they left, so Cole took her to see a movie one town over. Abby came along and she held his hand through the last half.

Now they stood on his dingy front porch, still holding hands, about to say goodbye. Cole could hear the water running inside the house. Sarah was singing the theme song from the movie in the shower. He shook his head. "I'm going to be hearing that dumb song for weeks now."

Abby smiled. "This was a good day," she said.

It was a good day, he thought. It had been a long damn time since Cole had a whole _good_ day. Before he had a chance to really dwell on that, Abby was pressed against him, kissing him. He opened his lips to inhale and felt her tongue in his mouth. Her hands came around the back of his neck and pulled him closer, just as his hands went around her waist. She tasted good. She felt good. Abby was just _good_.

She broke away smiling, holding a hand to her mouth. "Umm..." she said, shaking her head. "I'll see you soon, Cole." She stumbled down the steps to her car, smiling the whole way.

"I'm taking you on a date tomorrow," Cole shouted just as she pulled open the driver's side door.

She smiled even wider. "Alright," she fake groaned. "You've worn me down."

The next month was a whirlwind, but before Cole knew it he was in the exact same position he'd been with Lissy.

Abby sat staring at the packed boxes littering the floor of her tiny apartment. Only this time everything felt different. Maybe it was because they hadn't had sex? Maybe it was because he didn't quite know if he loved Abby yet? Maybe it was because this time just didn't feel like an ending? Abby let out a long huff as she taped the final box. "All done," she said, flopping back on the sofa that had come with the apartment.

"Will this really all fit in your car?" he asked with a smirk.

She pulled her knees up into his lap, turning to face him as she shook her head. "No, I'm dropping some of it off with UPS before I leave in the morning."

Leave... in the morning, he thought. Shit, he hated that phrase.

Abby touched his face, running a finger behind his ear and lightly squeezing his earlobe before she dropped her hand. "I'll call you everyday, Cole." Where had he heard that before? "It won't be like Lissy," she said, as if she had read his mind. The more he knew her, the more she had the ability to do that. Maybe he was just easy to read.

He bounced off of the couch, pacing to the kitchen counter and back. "Yeah, but everything goes to shit when somebody leaves."

She followed him, wrapping her arms around his waist. She rested her chin on his shoulder blade. "It doesn't have to," she argued.

He felt an old pain resurfacing. He was starting to panic a little... okay, maybe a lot. He ran a hand through his hair and noticed he was shaking. "I can't stay, Cole, and you can't leave. Whatever's going to happen will happen, but I promise I won't leave without an explanation and you better not." Abby's voice was as serious as he'd ever heard it. "You better not cheat on me either, or I'll come down so hard on your ass you'll think a nuclear bomb went off." It was a threat veiled as sarcasm, but Cole knew just enough about Abby to take it serious.

"I won't cheat on you, Abby," he said as he turned to face her. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her into his chest.

"It's not that far," she said.

"Only six hours," he sighed.

"Maybe I'll hijack a private jet," she teased.

He kissed her forehead and grinned. "Do it, my dear."

"God," she groaned. "This is so fucking inconvenient."

He laughed under his breath. Abby was so cute and charming, it never failed to amuse him when she cursed like a soldier. "What is?" he asked.

She looked up at him, her blue eyes glistening with tears. "Falling for you," she admitted.

He smiled, kissing her briefly before teasing, "Tell me about it. I had a lot more man whoring left in me." She pinched his side hard, making him jerk away and almost fall to the ground laughing. She tripped and pushed him, taking him to the carpet with a loud thud that probably scared the downstairs neighbors. She sat on him, pinning his ribs with her legs as she began tickling him unmercifully. It amused her to no end that he was ridiculously ticklish. "Stop, Abby!" he yelled, still laughing, but seriously almost crying.

Finally he grabbed her wrists and in one quick move rolled on top of her. He held her hands above her head and leaned down for a kiss. When her whole body responded, curving up into his chest he wrapped an arm beneath her. "I think it's time you took me to bed, Cole," she mouthed breathlessly.

He pulled away from her, staring down into her eyes. Her cheeks were rose pink; she was flushed all over. "What?" he asked stupidly.

She leaned up, biting his lower lip and sucking it slowly before she lowered herself to the ground. "It's time for you to take me to bed," she purred.

"I thought everything was packed?" he asked.

She smiled, biting her lower lip. God, that was cliché, but it was really a turn on. "Girl's gotta sleep somewhere," she said.

She leaned up to kiss him again as he lifted her in one quick motion. He practically kicked down the door to get to her bed.

The next day he kissed her goodbye and watched her drive away.

That night she called as promised.

For two years she called as promised.

For two years she came to visit him every weekend and holiday possible.

Cole and Sarah even vacationed with her family in Fredericksburg one Christmas.

After she graduated with her Master's degree, she announced she accepted a teaching job in his hometown and she would be moving in with Cole and Sarah. She hadn't discussed it with him; she just assumed that was what he wanted... which he did. He may have been a selfish indecisive jerk, but it was only at that moment he decided he loved Abby. From that point on, he let go of the boy Lissy knew and tried to become the man that Abby deserved.

PART III

Head First

Five months ago the stream did flow,

The lilies bloomed within the sedge,

And we were lingering to and fro,

Where none will track thee in this snow,

Along the stream, beside the hedge.

Ah, Sweet, be free to love and go!

For if I do not hear thy foot,

The frozen river is as mute,

The flowers have dried down to the root:

And why, since these be changed since May,

Shouldst thou change less than they.

And slow, slow as the winter snow

The tears have drifted to mine eyes;

And my poor cheeks, five months ago

Set blushing at thy praises so,

Put paleness on for a disguise.

Ah, Sweet, be free to praise and go!

For if my face is turned too pale,

It was thine oath that first did fail, --

It was thy love proved false and frail, \--

And why, since these be changed enow,

Should I change less than thou.

\- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Lissy stared at the computer screen. When she fell in love with photography, she imagined her life behind a camera in exotic locations or maybe as a war correspondent helping people. Turned out she was just stuck perfecting the skin tone of a model standing by a shiny new car.

Somewhere in college she had been steered away from a degree in fine arts, which at the time seemed like an impractical dream, to marketing, which would give her that all necessary _career_ and money. Both involved photography, but while one involved documenting the natural beauty of the world, the other was basically lying. She took a picture of someone or something and then sat in front of a computer long enough to make it "flawless." Sometimes she didn't understand why the company used models at all. Why not just Photoshop in 1989 Christie Brinkley and be done with the damn thing? Oh yeah, because then people would _know_ it was fake.

She was a liar.

Lissy had grown up to be a liar.

She let out a huff of breath, allowing her weight to fall back in her desk chair as she stared up at the perforated ceiling of her office. It was night outside, and the lights of Austin were shining up into her windows. Working late was normal. One, marketing and advertising firms expected young employees to work about eighty hours a week. Two, Lissy had nothing better to do. Lissy held few acquaintances and even less friends. She was an emotional hermit; at least that's what her roommate Raven called her.

"What do you mean you don't have Facebook?" Raven had asked two days ago.

Lissy shook her head and shrugged her shoulders.

Raven growled and fell on the sofa with her iPad. "Here, dweeb, let's set you up." She clicked her dark purple fingernails over the device until a blue screen with a little white rectangle in the center for login information popped up.

"Oh, wait!" Lissy said, recognizing the color scheme. "I had this in college. I think? I didn't know it was still around."

"You didn't know it was still around?" Raven scoffed with a smile. "Good lord, Lissy." She clicked on the white box and then turned to her expectantly, her eyebrows perched almost in her hairline.

"I don't know what my login is, Raven." She had created the account when she was still at UT, five years ago.

Raven bit at her fingernail, staring at the screen. "Let's try your old UT email. If the account is that old, it probably still required you to be a college student." She typed in what Lissy knew was the right combination of letters and numbers. Raven had studied at UT also. "What would be your password?" she asked.

"MrSkittles007 probably," Lissy said.

Raven almost laughed, but plugged in the information. The screen thought for a moment, evidenced by the little twirling circle in the center, and then logged on.

"Eureka!" Raven shouted with a smile. She stared at the screen, "Geez, that's an old picture of you!"

Lissy stared over her roommate's shoulder. Her hair and makeup was different, but she still looked pretty much the same. "You have 57 friend requests," Raven said. "Here, take it. I'm headed out tonight." She tossed the iPad in Lissy's lap and bounced away to the communal bathroom.

Lissy found the correct button, a silhouette of two little heads, to go through the friend requests. Ethan Harding, her RA when she was a freshman at Texas Tech, was the first request. Surprisingly, he was here in Austin. She tapped _Confirm_. Montgomery Reynolds, one of her best friends in high school, was the next that caught her eye. The tiny picture accompanying his "friend request" was clearly his face pressed between two different sets of bikini clad butt cheeks on a beach. She laughed. _Confirm_. Abigail Luke, a cute blonde girl that Lissy didn't recognize, fell towards the bottom of the pile. Her information said she graduated from UNT in Denton. "Sorry, Abigail. No idea who you are." _Not now._

There were way too many requests to go through in one night. Lissy recognized most of them from UT, but there were a few stragglers from Texas Tech or her hometown in the group.

She ignored the rest and clicked on Monty's profile. It was filled to the brim with pictures of him and various hot girls at parties, on the beach, on boats, on him... She shook her head and laughed. Monty would never grow up. She hit the little icon with an envelope and typed, "Hey Monty Python. Where you at? I see you're still having plenty of fun?" She hit _Send_. From his "Friends" list she quickly found both Chase and Dallas. She sent them a "Friend Request."

Her fingers itched at the search bar on the top of the screen. Finally, she caved and typed in Cole Grandin. There were two matches, but neither were the boy she knew. She shook her head and let out a long breath. "Enough," she said to herself, quickly deciding social media could be a very dangerous thing. She clicked a few more buttons, stumbling through the program until she found the logout. She tossed the device onto the coffee table just as Raven breezed out of the bathroom in a black mini skirt and light blue top. The outfit set off her jet-black hair and blue eyes perfectly. She leaned over to put on her heels, giving Lissy a perfect view of the Raven tattooed on the back of her neck. "You wanna come out tonight?" Raven asked.

Lissy shook her head. "Work tomorrow, as always," she answered.

Raven sighed and rolled her eyes. Raven was a trust fund baby and an artist, which basically meant she made a huge mess in their apartment everyday and sold some of her work on Etsy. Still, she paid for all the furniture and her fair share of the rent and utilities. She was also a super relaxed chic and Lissy enjoyed living with her.

"All right, Grumbledore, I'll see you in the morning." She leaned over kissing her on the cheek before breezing out of the apartment.

"Elizabeth," someone said from across the hall, waking her up from the memory. Lissy rolled her desk chair slightly back to find Simon staring at her. He entered the firm as an intern with Lissy and they both had stayed the duration, accepting full-time jobs. He was cute, but not a love match. Proof of that had been when they went on one very awkward date and talked about sepia coloring in print ads all night.

"Yeah, Simon?"

He beckoned with a crooked finger, not looking away from his laptop. She sighed and lugged herself out of her chair. "This whole campaign looks like shit. I can't get the color tone of this girl right," he commented as she entered his office.

Simon was working on some insurance company that had a girl skydiving in a bikini with the state flag of Texas on it. Her face was blotchy red and her eyes were squinty. "You're right," she said. "That looks like shit." She leaned over his desk. "Tried _Levels_ and all that?"

"Of course," Simon said. "She was just a bad model. She's the client's granddaughter."

Lissy let out a groan. Clients that insisted on involving friends and family were the worst. "I don't know," she sighed. "You'll just have to make her more olive or something. And don't forget to shave off those love handles and insides of her thighs," she said pointing to the appropriate spots on the girl's body.

Yep, Lissy had grown up to be a liar.
Lissy sat in the leather chair of the conference room beside Simon and chewed on her pen. He batted at her forearm, shaking his head at the nervous habit, when the client turned to look at the finished campaign. Lissy stuck her tongue out at him. Simon smiled and shook his head. Sadly, this office banter made Simon her closest friend besides Raven.

The client stood with his hands clasped behind his back, looking at the gigantic print out of his granddaughter in a bikini. "She looks too tan," he remarked.

"I'm afraid her skin was a bit... flushed," Simon remarked. "We had to even it out so that she wouldn't look red in print."

The client nodded. "Bit too much cleavage too."

"Yes 'sir," Simon replied, looking through his folder. "It was the swimsuit you requested, though."

The client let out a large huff of breath - never a good sign - and turned with a shaking head. "No, I do not like it at all."

Simon raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

"What don't you like, sir? What can we fix?" Lissy asked.

The client sat down heavily in a chair opposite them. "I like the bikini. I like the idea. I do not like my granddaughter up there looking like a common..." He didn't finish the phrase, but Lissy muttered "slut" under her breath. She smiled outwardly, but shook her head vehemently on the inside. The old man wanted to see a girl in a bikini, just not _his_ girl in a bikini.

"I'm afraid we won't be able to book a model with such short notice... at least if you still want the finished campaign by next week," Simon said.

The client puffed out his cheeks. "You can't find anyone?" he asked.

Simon shook his head, that nervous tic in his cheek becoming more pronounced by the second.

"You book the jump and I'll do it," Lissy suddenly blurted. When the client's and Simon's eyes jumped to her she added, "I've skydived before. Easy peezy."

The client roved her body with his eyes and then nodded. "I'll make the arrangements for tomorrow afternoon? My buddy owns the plane, so it won't take much."

"Yes 'sir," Lissy chirped.

After the client left the room, Simon jerked to her. "What the hell, Lis?"

She hated when he called her that. Only one other person on the planet ever called her Lis instead of Lissy. "What? A free skydive session... this will be awesome," she said with a smile.

Strapped in to the plane the next day, Lissy decided this whole thing was decidedly not awesome. The plane was sketchy as hell and the pilot kept ogling her ass in the Texas bikini. Her photographer, Danny, was strapped to their jump instructor looking like he was about to hurl any minute.

"You all right, Danny?" she asked at a full shout, still barely audible over the wind noise. He gave her a thumb's up sign and turned a little greener. The jump instructor held up his hand signaling one minute until jump. She nodded. They were jumping over the lake and should land just on its western shore. Lissy tugged at the bikini bottom one last time. She was going to chafe like crazy from the jump harness on her bare thighs.

The instructor held up his hands with all ten fingers wiggling, he folded and stretched them three times. 30 seconds. Then he did it twice. 20 seconds. Then once. 10 seconds. He gave her a wave and pointed out the open plane. She stuck her tongue out at Danny and jumped out backwards with a smile as she shouted, "Geronimo!"

Lissy was still a daredevil. She would never _not_ be a daredevil, even if she were an emotional hermit and public recluse. The 120 mph winds whipped at her skin and her hair as she rotated into the belly down position, the jump instructor and Danny appearing in front of her with the camera. She smiled, not too small not too big, and did everything possible to keep her face wrinkle free by not crinkling her eyes. She held her cheeks steady, by biting them from the inside, and extended her neck. When Danny gave her the thumbs up, signaling he thought he had the shot, she made a dozen much more goofy faces. Danny snapped them too... and actually smiled.

The jump instructor gave her two thumbs up this time and pointed to the parachute release over her shoulder. He held up ten fingers, meaning ten seconds to pull. She counted off in her head, watching the Austin zoom closer and closer by the second. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0, 0...

Finally she pulled, knowing she had done it too late and would get a tongue lashing from the jump instructor. Him and Danny were floating peacefully several hundred yards above her, having deployed their shoot two seconds earlier.

The wind caught her chute suddenly, ripping her almost towards the water. It whipped her again and she jerked in the opposite direction. Shit, she was going to come down hard. She braced herself for the landing, keeping her knees soft so that she could run into it if needed.

She hit the ground with a thud, tripping over a rock and smashing head first into the ground. Her arm snapped beneath her when it impacted a hidden piece of limestone in the sand. The parachute fell atop her, like a shroud. Seconds later, the flight instructor was pulling the silky material away. "Lissy," he called out. "Are you all good?"

"No," she bit out just as he exposed her face to the harsh afternoon sun. "I busted my arm." She held the broken appendage to her chest as he kneeled beside her. He checked the pulse at her neck while watching his overlarge wristwatch.

"Did you have trouble with your chute? You pulled late," he said while holding a hand to her ribs, poking at her.

"I was just being stupid," she said.

The jump instructor shook his head, but smiled. "I time that stuff out perfectly ya' know?"

"Yeah, I know," she answered. If the guy was fifteen years younger, she might be into him. He smiled again, putting his hands on his hips. He shook his head and then put hands behind her shoulders. "Come on, let's get you to the ER."

Lissy sat in the hospital with Simon and Danny at her side. Simon had helped fill out the paperwork, while Danny puked in the bathroom twice. A nurse had asked him if he was sick and needed help. He probably did, but had shaken his head no. Now he sat half asleep, his adrenaline wearing off too fast.

A doctor backed into the area, brusquely closing the blue curtain behind him. He was staring down at a clipboard. "Fractured radius _and_ ulna... Sky diving?" he asked as he finally looked up. His eyes went wide with recognition and his cheeks flushed red. "Lissy?"

It was Ethan, her RA from Texas Tech that she hadn't seen in almost nine years but had just confirmed as a "friend" on Facebook a week ago. "Hey Finnegan," she said with a small smile. It was an old joke and probably one he wouldn't remember. He smiled awkwardly, though, and nodded his head.

He sat on a rolling stool near her broken arm and scooted closer. "Of all the hospitals in all of Texas, you come into mine?" he asked. His eyes fell to her body, scanning her outfit. "In a bikini?" he asked with a smile. She imagined what he saw. She had forced Simon to take off the jump harness but her hair was still a ratty mess in a high ponytail and the clear goggles were still strung loosely around her neck. She was also wearing ankle high Converse, topping off the whole "hot mess" look.

She shook her head and let out a huff of breath. "It's a long story."
Ethan allowed Lissy to see her X-rays on his iPad. There were clearly four pieces of bone when there should only be two. "Hell of a break, Lissy," he muttered. "You'll need surgery. I recommend going in immediately. We'll start you on antibiotics right now."

"Who will be my surgeon?" she asked with a sigh.

Ethan raised his eyebrows. "Me, actually, although my boss will be watching over us like a hawk. I still have a year left on my fellowship."

"Give me the drugs and wheel me away, then, doctor." She tried to smile, but likely only grimaced with pain.

Simon and Danny had moved out into the hallway, waiting for Ethan to finish his examination. "Either of those guys your boyfriend... husband? I'll need them to sign some paperwork."

"You trying to scope out your competition?" she asked sassily.

Ethan smiled, checking off a few boxes on her medical chart. God, he had the hottest smile she'd ever seen. He had these perfectly shaped dimples and amazingly full lips with just one little imperfect crooked tooth. "Always a smartass," he commented.

Lissy shook her head when he looked up at her. "Coworkers," she finally answered. "They're both probably dying to go home, but feel obligated to stay."

He leaned over with a sharpie and put his initials on her broken arm and again by her shoulder. "Tagging me?" she asked.

He smiled again. "Hospital procedure. So you don't get lost in the system. This let's everybody know you're mine."

"So possessive all of a sudden," she teased. She was starting to feel weird, fairly sure that last nurse had slipped some serious pain medicine or sedative into her IV.

Ethan touched her on her unbroken arm, patting it lightly. "Rest up, Lissy. I'll get your paperwork sorted and then we'll fix you up." He clicked his pen and slid it into his scrub pocket as he walked to Simon and Danny. They both smiled and nodded as he spoke. Ethan always had this way of making people feel relaxed... assured that everything was going to be fine. That trait was probably a huge asset as a surgeon.

Danny left immediately, but Simon came in to make sure it was okay that he went home. He kissed Lissy on the forehead in an almost big brother way and said to call if she needed anything. "Can you call Ray?" she asked right before he left. "Ask her to bring me some clothes?" Simon had a massive crush on Raven; Lissy knew he'd love a reason to call her gorgeous roommate. He nod and left the room, pulling the curtain closed so she could rest.

Three hours later, Lissy woke up bleary eyed, cold, and with the biggest hangover imaginable. The anesthesiologist had given her something comparable to a whole bottle of Vodka, another of Tequila, a couple of roofies and some cocaine for good measure. She felt woozy and horrible. Her mouth was sickeningly dry and her throat felt like that one time she had the flu. She tried to sit up and the whole room spun like a disco turntable. Literally, she saw the sparkly lights and everything.

"Whoa there, cowgirl," someone said as they grabbed her shoulder. She smelled Raven's sweet perfume and leaned into her.

"Hey there, roomie," Lissy muttered over her swollen tongue.

Some machine beeped behind her, waking her up again. She had fallen asleep while Raven tried to put a hooded sweatshirt on her. "Just put it in the hole!" she shouted, struggling with something that felt like an arm, Lissy wasnt' sure.

"That's what she said," Lissy cackled.

"She's going to be incoherent for a few hours," a deep familiar voice said. There was a hint of laughter in it.

Lissy tried to focus on Ethan's face but all she saw was a big blur. "I'm cold, Finnegan," she said. She could feel herself shaking.

"That's the drugs," his voice said as his blurry face came closer.

She laughed a little bit. "Did you see my bone?" she asked.

The blur smiled. "Two of them actually."

"Well," she sighed, finally feeling her arm jam into something soft and furry. Her sweatshirt she imagined. "I've seen yours and now you've seen mine. We're even."

The blur smiled again. "Lissy, you're as blunt as ever."

Raven's voice asked, "Do you know her?"

Ethan's blur straightened, no longer looking at Lissy's face. "We went to Texas Tech together, her first year. I was her RA."

"Finn-eeee-guuun," Lissy sung in a low voice, like those old cough drop commercials set in Switzerland. Remembering the snow from those commercials reminded her she was cold. She leaned forward, seeking out any warmth she could find. She closed her eyes and almost fell asleep again as she curled against a big sturdy warm wall. It radiated heat. She felt something touch the back of her head and rub down her neck. The motion was soothing and helped ease her chills. "She needs to come in for a check up. I'll have my receptionist setup a time and call you," Ethan's voice said.

Then the warmth was pulled away. Lissy grumbled in response, reaching out for it. "All right, Nutty McPhee, let's get you in this wheelchair before you fall on your face," Raven said.

She pulled Lissy into a cold wheel chair and walked beside her while a male nurse pushed. Lissy's shivering became more pronounced as the sliding doors opened to the outdoors. Simon was waiting with his black SUV. "I'm freezing!" Lissy shouted as they both tugged her up gently and put her in the car.

The next thing Lissy remembered was waking up in her bed and the TV blaring from the living room. "Turn that down!" she shouted. The noise lowered a few decibels before Raven appeared in her doorway. "Hey there, grumpy bear."

Lissy ran a hand over her face, jerking back when a soft cast hit her nose. Right, she had broken her arm and had surgery.

"What time is it?" she asked.

"About three in the afternoon... on Sunday," Raven drawled.

"I slept a day and a half?"

Raven nodded and smiled. "Dr. McLovin called and asked about you. I told him you were sleeping a lot and he said that was fine."

Lissy shuffled up to lean against her headboard. She moaned at the bright light filtering through the window just as her stomach growled. "I don't remember anything after the anesthesiologist."

Raven smiled. "That's too bad, because you were awesome."

Uh oh. Usually when Raven thought something was awesome it meant it would be morbidly embarrassing for the rest of the human population. "What happened?" Lissy asked.

Raven bounced forward on her toes, landing beside Lissy on the bed with a puff of air from the squished comforter. "You shoved your face practically in your doctor's crotch and kept calling him Finnegan. I'm also pretty sure you implied you'd seen his dick before."

"Oh god," Lissy groaned, feeling her face flush with heat.

Raven's eyes widened. "Then he pet your head and neck like he liked it... and called last night and once today to check on you."

"Oooh... gaaawd," Lissy moaned, falling back down into bed.

Raven pulled Lissy's arm away, smiling like a goon. "You haven't had a serious dude-friend since I met you four years ago! Then this doctor hottie boom lottie with history and a private Nickname just walks in the door... Dish, girl!

Halfway through Lissy's story about how Ethan was a major "could have been" a knock sounded on their front door. Raven sighed theatrically and rolled off the bed to go answer it; she reappeared seconds later with an ear-to-ear grin and a guest.

"Ethan!" Lissy said surprised. Her hands immediately pulled the comforter up to just below her chin before trying to smooth her ratty hair.

"No more Finnegan?" he asked with a teasing smirk.

Lissy watched as Raven's eyes darted from his face to hers and back again. Lissy had maybe dated three times in the last four years and none of them were serious enough to warrant a home visit. Ethan held up a sack of take-out food and a large drink. "Do you still like chicken noodle soup with a side of chicken nuggets when you're sick?" he asked.

Lissy nodded and then shook her head. "Wait. How do you even know where we live?" Her eyes jumped to Raven's accusingly, but the bemused roommate just shrugged her shoulders.

Ethan cringed. "I may have... stole your address from Admitting at the hospital." His eyebrows pulled together and his lips were tense. He was waiting for the hammer to fall.

Lissy tried to contain her smile as she crossed her arms over her chest. She jerked and cringed when she accidentally hit her injured arm and then tried to quickly regain her composure. When she was satisfied she looked appropriately smug she asked, "So you're basically a stalker?"

Ethan watched her carefully for a moment, his eyelids lowering in thought. A small smile pulled up one corner of his mouth. "I'm a concerned doctor, checking on a patient."

"Since when do modern doctors pull out the chicken noodle soup trick?" she asked.

"Oh, Jesus Christ, Lissy! Let the man feed you!" Raven suddenly yelled. Her eyes went wide and she clapped her hand over her mouth. She smiled awkwardly. "I'm sorry," she laughed. "I'll leave now." She backed out of the room gracefully and seconds later Lissy heard the front door open and close.

Ethan held up the bag of food again. "Yes or no?" he asked. Lissy had the feeling he was asking about more than chicken noodle soup.

"Yes," she said with a quick nod.
The second greatest thing about Ethan was that he practically became Lissy's private doctor. He didn't even make her come into his office for checkups. He held her arm in front of him now, poking and prodding around the tiny metal plates and screws just below her skin. It felt weird, but not painful. "We can take these out in a year or two," he mumbled. "If they bother you or if you just want them out."

"I don't know," Lissy said. "The incision hurt worse than the bone I think."

He nodded without looking up. "Yeah, a lot of people say that."

"Have you been doing your rehab exercises?"

"Yep, everyday."

"Any numbness... especially in your fingers?"

His fingers touched her lightly. She would call the touch a caress if he weren't asking all those stupid medical questions.

"No, doctor," she said playfully.

Ethan looked up, his forehead wrinkled with concern. "These questions are important, Lissy. You could have nerve damage or nonunion of the bones."

She fell back on her bed, her head close to his hip so that he still had her arm. "It's been six weeks," she grumbled. "When are you going to stop worrying about it? Do you fret over every patient like this?"

"Only the ones I like," he answered casually.

"And how many patients do you like?" she asked coyly.

He finally let go of her arm and turned to face her. "Just the one," he answered with a smirk. She grinned and let out a huff of breath.

"I want to take you out tonight," he said. Lissy noticed it wasn't a question.

"I don't know," she said as if she couldn't decide. "All this comingling between doctor and patient seems scandalous."

Ethan turned, putting his hands on either side of her waist. "We haven't even begun to comingle, babe."

Lissy laughed. "Babe?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I was trying it out. Maybe it wasn't for the best."

She laughed again, turning so that her head rest on her forearm. "I got you, Babe!" she sung.

At that, Raven started singing the old Sonny and Cher song from the kitchen. It sounded like she was washing their dishes from breakfast. Ethan had "been in the area" so he came over for breakfast to "check on her arm" before he went to work. As if he could read Lissy's mind, he checked the watch on his left wrist. "Ugh," he groaned. "Gotta go to work."

He leaned over unexpectedly, briefly kissing Lissy's lips before rising from the bed. Her eyes widened and she was stunned into silence as he stood. She brought fingers to her lips, hiding a smile. It wasn't their first kiss, that had been nine years ago, but it was their _first_ second kiss. It reminded her of the absolute, greatest, #1 thing about Ethan...

Lissy shook her head. She wasn't making any sense.

When he turned around and saw her smile he grinned. "Dinner, tonight, 8?" he asked. She nodded, still unable to speak. He left the room and said something to Raven. When Lissy heard the front door start to open she jerked out of bed and ran to the hallway.

Breathlessly she called, "Finnegan?"

He turned and smiled again. Lissy wasn't used to people smiling so much. "Yeah, babe?" he asked playfully.

She suddenly didn't know what she had planned on saying, she had just wanted to see him and say his name once more before he left. She smiled. "Umm... have a good day at work."

He smiled, ducking his chin to his chest, as he closed the door behind him. Raven draped a wet hand over Lissy's shoulders and joined her in staring at the door. "God, you two are so... _domestic_."

"Shut up," Lissy laughed, pushing her arm away.

"I mean, it's cute, but obnoxious," Raven chimed.

As they shuffled into the kitchen, Raven dried her hands on a small white towel while Lissy finished off a bit of orange juice left in a glass. She was pretty sure it wasn't her glass, but if it was Raven or Ethan's it didn't matter. She hoped it was Ethan's. "So, I still haven't gotten the story behind this whole Finnegan situation. What's that about?" Raven asked.

Lissy smiled, looking down to the floor. "It's nothing," she answered. "I love that old movie, _Great Expectations_. Ethan Hawke starred as Finnegan. Ethan... Finnegan. It's stupid."

"The way that guy's face lights up every time you say it... That makes it anything, but stupid," Raven said.

Lissy shook her head. "He's taking me on our first date tonight."

"What?" Raven screamed with a wide smile and wider eyes. "Oh my god, girl, we have to get you all dolled up!"

Lissy shook her head. "No, no. I'm fine."

Raven clucked her tongue. "Forget trying. My recluse roommate says the word 'date' and I have to help her get ready. That's the rules."

"What rules?" Lissy asked, laughing.

"The Hermit Girl Handbook rules, dummy. Now let's go!" Raven yelled, already pushing Lissy towards her bedroom. "First," she said in way too threatening of a tone. "Hair removal."

Twelve hours later, having been plucked, waxed, bathed, brushed, blown dry, made up, and squeezed into one of Raven's dresses, Lissy sat impatiently waiting for Ethan. She could barely breathe in the tight, dark blue, thigh high, strapless cocktail dress and barely walk in the four-inch heels her roommate had insisted upon. The Queen of Torture herself whirled into the living room just then. "Let's retouch your lips," she said. Lissy pouted her mouth appropriately, way past trying to fight Raven on any of the preparations.

"Blot," she said, holding out a tissue.

Lissy closed her mouth over it and then opened again.

Raven stepped back, admiring her work, and shook her head as if in awe. "You are so fucking hot," she said.

Lissy twirled her fingers together. "I'm nervous."

Raven waved a hand in dismissal as she tossed the lipstick-covered tissue paper in the trash. "Blah, he's already head over heels..."

There was a knock at the door that interrupted her comment. Lissy jumped to her feet while Raven giggled and ran to the door, swinging it wide open. Ethan walked in with two-dozen roses, smiling briefly at Raven as she closed the door behind him. He looked amazingly handsome. He had on a dark blue shirt that coincidentally matched Lissy's dress perfectly. The sleeves of the shirt were rolled to his elbows, revealing his toned forearms. Paired with the shirt were simple black slacks that made his ass look great. When his eyes caught on Lissy, his arm holding the flowers fell to his side and his mouth gaped open. "Holy shit," he mumbled under his breath.

Lissy fiddled with the long straight hair at her shoulder. She always wore her hair up, and the silky strands were tickling her. "Good or bad?" she asked, suddenly even more uncomfortable in the outfit.

Ethan breathed out heavily. "Good," he said with a slow shake of his head. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."
"Why thank you," Raven said, walking up to his shoulder. She took the roses from his hand and said, "An artist never reveals her secrets, but I did have a good canvas." She pulled a glass vase from beneath the counter and filled it with water.

Ethan's eyes never moved away from Lissy. He was just staring. "You're freaking me out just staring," Lissy said, taking a step towards him.

He shook his head, finally blinking. "I'm sorry," he said, closing the distance between them. He ran his thumb along her cheekbone and down her neck. Goose bumps followed his touch. "You're just... beautiful."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Raven said, coming up beside them. She shoved them together and in the general direction of the door. "You two kids have fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" she said.

"That's not much," Lissy replied, looking back at her.

Raven winked and, after checking to make sure Ethan wasn't looking, made exaggerated kiss faces and then did some crude gesture with her tongue. Lissy laughed and looked away just as they were shoved through the front door. Raven closed it behind them, leaving them alone in the hallway. Ethan took in a deep breath as he took her hand and led her to the stairway.

Dinner was good. The company was better.

"So... what happened to you after freshman year?" Ethan asked, the conversation turning more serious as they walked around Zilker Metropolitan Park. Lissy had long since ditched the high-heels. The concrete felt soothing on her bare feet. It was still warm from the hot evening sun. "I had a lot going on. I needed a change of scenery, I guess. So I transferred to UT," she sighed.

"A lot going on with Cole?" Ethan asked. She was surprised he still remembered her best friend's name.

"Yeah, with Cole, but mostly just with me."

Ethan looked to her with one eyebrow raised, asking silently for more information. She let out a long exhale. "When I met you at Tech, you were just so happy. Everybody was just so... happy. It made me realize I was pretty unusual. My mom overdosed. My dad was MIA. I grew up poor. My boyfriend couldn't go to college because he had to secure guardianship of his little sister. It was just all... terrible."

Ethan stayed silent, but he looped his arm through hers while they walked. "Anyway, the longer I was away. The bigger the differences became. Cole was always exhausted and anxious. You weren't. Pretty soon I realized I was tired of being tired. I was tired of worrying. So I just ended things with Cole." She ran a hand through her hair. She'd never discussed this stuff with anyone. Raven didn't even know about Cole. "It was too abrupt, though. It was really hard not to call him, but I knew if I called him it wouldn't be over. It would never be over and I would never get a chance to just be a selfish, asshole college student. I would never get a chance to travel the world and be... me."

She felt a few tears fall down her cheeks. "I was a bitch to him. I'll never forgive myself."

"Where is he now?" Ethan asked quietly.

"Absolutely no idea," she answered truthfully. "I searched for him on Facebook the other day, but he didn't have an account."

"Right before you broke your arm, right? You finally accepted my friend request. I was planning on messaging you, when this really hot girl in a bikini came into the ER and distracted me." He smiled shyly.

She let out a nervous laugh. "I wouldn't have received your message. I'm not really into social media or anything."

"Hard to believe considering your line of work?" he asked.

She shrugged her shoulders. "I guess, working in marketing, you see the wizard behind the curtain. I hate being on a computer when I'm not at work."

"I buy that. My relatives are always asking me medical questions during the holidays. It's hard to stomach Thanksgiving dinner when your great aunt is asking about her bunions."

Lissy laughed out loud.

They walked quietly for a while, finally stopping to sit on a bench that faced the river. Lissy loved to kayak downtown. "Me and you. We left things a little..." he started.

"Unfinished too?" she asked.

He nodded his head. "After you broke up with Cole and we had a whole semester together." He rubbed a hand on the back of his neck. "Then we slept together right before I graduated. I figured..."

"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm a runner. I run. That's what I do. I didn't know it then, but I've had almost a decade to reflect."

He looked to her with understanding eyes. "Older and wiser, huh?" he asked with a small smile.

"Just older I think," Lissy answered.

He leaned forward, brushing his palm against her cheek. She inhaled and held the breath, anticipating a kiss. "What about now?" he asked. "Will you run from me again?"

"I don't know," she said nervously. "I'm not good with all this."

He leaned forward again, touching his forehead to hers. "Then we'll go slow," he said.

Lissy's heart was practically beating out of her chest. She still hadn't exhaled and was forced to breathe out in a sudden rush. "Slow is overrated," she whispered before slamming her lips against his.

Her mouth remembered the taste of his promised love.

It had been there, ready for the taking nine years ago, but she was too dumb or too hurt to realize what was being offered. "Take me home, Finnegan," she whispered on to his lips, barely pulling away from the kiss.

"Yours or mine?" he asked breathlessly.

"Whatever's closest?"

As it turned out, Ethan lived very close to the park. His apartment was on the second floor and by they time they reached his front door, Lissy was shaking like a leaf. He turned the key in the lock and pulled her inside, finally letting go of her hand to close and lock the door. When he flicked on the light, she distracted her nerves by inspecting the interior. It was small, but classy. There were polished wood floors and simple leather furniture. He had a massive television with rows and rows of movies on the same wall. There were books stacked on either end of the sofa. Ethan read voraciously, sometimes finishing two or three novels a week back at Tech.

He moved to the tiny kitchen. "Do you want something to drink?" he asked. His cheeks were flushed red and he was clearly as nervous as her. She shook her head and reached a hand out to him. Hers felt suddenly cold, having held his for so long.

He came to her, twining their fingers as he stepped closer. He wrapped his other arm around her waist and pulled her into a quick waltz step. When he began humming a tune as they twirled, Lissy let her head fall back. She closed her eyes and smiled.

He kissed her neck, close to her collarbone as they danced. "Show me the bedroom," she demanded, her voice husky and unfamiliar. He turned, pulling her with him towards the far side of the living room and through a door. His bed was massive, covered with a white down comforter and crisp white sheets. There was a night table on the right side that held more books. He turned her and began kissing her neck again. Her hands ran to the back of his neck, slipping from the cool fabric of his shirt collar to his hot skin. The sudden change made her shiver.

"This dress is driving me crazy, Lissy," he whispered into the spot below her ear as his hands roved the curve of her lower back and butt.

"Wait 'til you see what's underneath," she teased.

He growled under his breath and began unzipping the dress. The fabric fell to the floor as he stepped back. Lissy was wearing a strapless bra and matching lace panties. Ethan sucked in a shaky breath, his eyes wandering her body. "I'm still a little uncomfortable with the staring," Lissy laughed, covering her stomach that suddenly felt a little too plump with her arms. He stepped forward and pulled them away, wrapping them instead at his waist. He reached to his collar and began unbuttoning his own shirt. "Well then, let me distract you for once."

"Confident much?" she teased.

He flicked up an eyebrow and smirked. "I work out."

When he pulled his shirt off she gasped. He hadn't aged a day in the nine years they'd been separated. His abs were rock hard and if anything they'd become more toned. Seeing the trail of hair that led from his belly button down into his pants made her way too hot. His hands fell to his belt and soon he was out of everything but his black boxer briefs.

When her eyes lowered to a very distinct part of his anatomy, a part practically yelling for attention in that moment, she averted her eyes quickly, trying to focus on his face again. He smiled broadly. "The art of distraction," he purred. He leaned down, gripping her upper thighs to lift her. Her legs instinctively wrapped around his waist as her arms pulled his head against her chest. He crawled on his knees onto the bed, gently lowering her to the pillows. He kissed her again and then pulled back. "No more running," he said as if it were a statement and maybe a question.

In answer, she pulled him down to kiss her more.
Over the next six months, Ethan and Lissy reveled in torturing each other.

"How many women have you slept with?" she asked. This was a part of their self-torture. They had decided one night, under the influence of vodka, they wanted to know everything about each other.

Ethan sighed, letting his head fall back against the headboard. The game was easier when applied post coital and naked, less chance for someone to get mad and storm away. "I plead the fifth," he said.

She shook her head. "Nope, we promised to always answer."

He let out a long sigh, tucking his arm behind his head. That position made his shoulder muscles pop out distractingly. When he caught her staring he raised an eyebrow. She jerked her gaze away. Nope, not going to work.

"Seven," he finally answered.

Seven. Not an outrageous number, though it still made Lissy's chest tight with jealousy.

"When and who?" she asked.

He shook his head and licked his lips. "One in high school. Three before you at Tech. Two after you. And you're lucky number seven." He screwed up his lips and eyebrows in an exaggerated thinking expression. "Or do you count twice? Should I really say eight?"

She punched him in the shoulder before falling against him, resting her head on his chest. "And you?" he asked. "What's your number?" He played with her hair, running the tips of his fingers around and behind her ears.

"Just two," she answered softly, lulled by his touch.

His motion stopped sharply. "What do you mean just two?" he asked.

She looked up at him through veiled eyelashes. "It's just you and Cole."

"We've been apart almost ten years!" he scoffed.

She smiled. "No wonder I was sore that first time." His expression implied he didn't like the joke. "Are you mad that I didn't sleep with more people?" she asked.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. No, of course not," he stammered. "I just... just me and him. That is..."

"Raven called me Hermit Girl," Lissy said. "I dated, of course, and I fooled around here and there. I don't know, after I ran away from you and Cole... it just seemed like a better idea to stay away from sex altogether. Too serious. Sex, dating, the whole thing was _too_ serious." When he didn't speak she continued rambling. "So I focused on my career. And I hiked, and biked, and jumped out of planes, and snowboarded, and waterskied, and kayaked, and even tried horseback riding one time. It was bumpy."

He rolled her, pinning her to the mattress, hovering above her with lips parted. "You haven't slept with anyone since college. The last person you slept with before me was me," he said breathlessly.

She raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Are you still going on about that?"

He kissed her hard, forcing her mouth open so that his tongue could enter. When he pulled away she laughed. "I'm gathering you like exclusivity?"

"Yes," he moaned, leaning in to kiss her again. "Call me a patriarchal bastard, but yes." She would have made some sort of joke, but his lips quickly tracing down her stomach and his head disappearing below the sheets made her forget how to speak.

One week later, he sat staring at his laptop. It was Sunday, one of the few days he didn't spend twenty hours at the hospital. She came up behind him, wrapping an arm around his chest and cuddling close to his neck. He reached up, rubbing the forearm he'd patched together all those months ago. "What'cha lookin' at?" she asked.

"Houses," he replied seriously.

Her eyes caught on the real estate website he was searching through. The ads showed immaculate houses expensively priced. "You're buying a house?" she asked.

He nodded briefly. "My fellowship ends in a few months. The Chief already gave me an offer in ortho. If I accept, I figure it's time to dig in my roots."

"Wow," Lissy said, her breath catching in her throat. "That's serious. Those houses are expensive and so... permanent." The last word trudged out, stomping its muddy boots as it marched. Lissy had never thought of buying a house. Even after college, a small apartment with a crazy roommate felt like the obvious choice.

Ethan turned to look worriedly at her. He reached out, rubbing her thighs slowly as if he were soothing a skittish animal. "Don't get scared, Lissy," he said softly.

She pulled away from him, raising a hand to her suddenly sweaty forehead. "I'm not scared," she scoffed.

Ethan followed her pacing, finally standing to catch her and still the frantic motion. " You're scared of change, you're scared of everything staying the same." She had heard those words before, but from a very different boy. That time she had fought, screamed, and then bolted like her life depended on it.

She sucked in deep breaths, letting them out slowly to avoid hyperventilating. Ethan brushed hair out of her eyes. "It's just a job. It's just a house," he said.

The breathing trick worked, at least enough to distract her from the panic at hand. "Right," she said, not believing her own voice. She plastered on a fake smile. "Nothing that has to do with me anyway." His face looked like she had slapped him. "What?" she asked.

He raised a hand and then let it fall to his thigh. He shook his head, biting down on his lower lip as he looked to the ground. "What?" she asked again, sort of angry.

"Nothing," he said as he turned away from her. He slammed the laptop shut and skulked into the kitchen.

This was the part Lissy avoided, the look of disappointment when her stars didn't align perfectly with someone else's. This was why she hadn't had a serious relationship for so long. She stormed after Ethan. "Tell me what is wrong," she demanded.

He turned to her, pointing one accusing finger at her chest. "You're gonna run," he said.

"I am not," she scoffed. Was she sure? She suddenly had overwhelming thoughts of houses, mortgages, babies, and minivans.

He stared at her for a long moment and then nodded. "I can see it. I am looking at the exact look you gave me before I never saw you again ten years ago."

She let her chest fall in defeat. If she was making the look, she didn't know it. Ethan never lied though. "It just shocked me. Everything is fine, Ethan." She felt a single tear fall down her cheek.

He stepped forward catching it with his thumb. He cupped her cheeks with both palms, tilting her face up to him. "Why are you so scared to settle down?"

"I'm more scared about... settling," she admitted.

Pain tore over his expression. "Are you settling with me?"

She closed her eyes. "No! I'm just... God, I'm selfish and I thought I would have more than Austin and a stupid job where I Photoshop advertising crap!"

"So, let's have more!"

"How?" she screamed, opening her eyes wide.

"What do you want?" he asked. "Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you."

She almost collapsed against him. He was saying all the right things, but she couldn't prevent this overwhelming guilt she felt when he said them. She didn't deserve him, just like she didn't deserve Cole. She was falling headfirst... "I'll just end up hurting you," she whimpered.

"So what!" he said so loud she jumped away from him. "Hurt me! Just don't leave me again... wondering what if." She shook her head, not knowing what to say. He stormed away into his bedroom. She heard him shuffling through a drawer, throwing things around.

When he came back into the room, he had a little dark box in his right hand. She shook her head violently as he came close and dropped down onto a knee. He cracked the box open, holding it up to her. There was an amazing diamond ring nestled deep in a little black pillow. "Oh my god," she whispered.

"I love you," Ethan whispered. "I loved you back at Tech and I never forgot you. When you, literally, fell into the hospital all those memories hit my like a freight train. I committed a crime and stole your address from official medical files. I almost passed out when I saw you in that dress on our first date. I felt like my heart exploded the first... I mean, second time I made love to you." He grinned wildly, before his tone turned more somber. "Every day with you, I cherish. Marry me, Lissy Grant. Marry me so I can spend every day of the rest of my life near you."

"I love you too," she breathed out. It was the first time she had ever told someone she loved him. With Cole it had always been implied, but never said.

Lissy's cell phone buzzed in her purse. She ignored it, staring down at Ethan with his hope filled expression. The ding of a voicemail sounded seconds before the phone rang again. There was a second voicemail ding just before a third incessant call. She stepped away from him and hit the call button.

"Yes," she answered shakily.

"Miss Grant?" a nasal voice asked.

"Yes."

"Ma'am, we have your grandfather, Jack Grant, here at the hospital. You're his emergency contact?"

Lissy wiped a shaky hand across her brow. "Yes." How many times had she said that word, yet she couldn't say it to the man still kneeled at her side.

"Your grandfather is very sick, honey. You need to come home."

Lissy felt her heart compress and her breathing stop.

PART IV

Beginning's End

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

\- Robert Frost

Lissy let her head fall back on the passenger side window. The gas hose near her right hip chugged fuel into the SUV at a rate that made her checking account cringe. Delicate fingers of pink and orange were creeping their way into the sky from the east. She clamped her eyes shut. Dawn was too beautiful, or maybe not beautiful enough, for a day when she would bury her grandfather.

Her mind drifted, replaying old memories. The day Child Protective Services brought her to her granddad's house after her mother overdosed. He'd made blueberry pancakes. The day he surprised her with a prom dress that she knew he couldn't afford on his meager earnings as a Wal-Mart greeter. The day she announced she was headed to Texas Tech. He had cried and told her he'd never been more proud.

The memories of that man didn't mix with what she had seen three days ago, a dead stranger with pale skin laying on a cold hospital bed. The two men weren't the same. Her granddad was warm, comforting... alive. The stranger was an empty vessel.

She had said goodbye to her granddad four days ago. He'd been truly awake for the first time in a week. He was lively even, laughing at jokes and flirting with the nurses. Lissy ordered pancakes for dinner and they watched TV, one of those reality shows about a man travelling the nation in search of the best burrito. When the show ended, Granddad held her hand and said, "Go on home, girl. You look tired."

By the next morning only the stranger remained. After, there was a whirlwind of paperwork and funeral arrangements. Relatives Lissy never knew existed started calling her phone, asking questions, coming in to town. Her granddad's house filled with unexpected aunts, uncles, and cousins. They hugged her and said they remembered her from when she was little. The whole thing made her claustrophobic. So at nighttime, she drove.

She drove sixty miles in every direction, on every road leading in and out of the small town. She drove to neighboring towns in search of 24-hour coffee shops. Every night she drove until the sun was up.

"Lissy?" a deep voice said, jolting her from her thoughts. The sun tore at her fatigued eyes. The gaseous orb was fully up now, blinding her with its impudent morning light. Had she fallen asleep? She blinked twice, clearing her vision. A man smiled at her. "Jesus, Lis. What the hell are you doing?"

The man was tall, six foot three maybe, and had short-cropped dark hair that suited his five o'clock shadow. He was dirty and scruffy, like he'd been up all night working in the mud. His eyes were bright in comparison to the rest of his face. They were bright green, just as she remembered. "Cole?" she said in question, even though she knew she'd recognize him anywhere.

Cole smiled and nodded. His eyebrows tugged together in an expression so familiar she thought she'd time travelled. "What are you doing, Lissy? You were passed out snoring when we drove up."

Her eyes darted to the large four-door truck behind Cole. Two more sets of curious male eyes openly ogled her, a mixture of concern and amusement written on their faces. "I was just filling up my tank," she answered, turning to remove the nozzle from her car.

"In the middle of nowhere?" Cole asked. A small smirk played at the corner of his mouth. "You must be forty miles from any form of civilization."

She shrugged her shoulders as the receipt dribbled out of the fueling station. She tore it away and shoved it in her pocket. "You're here, so I must be... somewhere?" She looked around herself, still squinting from the harsh light. There was nothing but flat desert bush and sand. She rubbed a hand across her forehead just as Cole stepped closer. He smelled funny, like oil or grease.

"Are you alright, Lissy? You're kind of freaking me out."

She felt the sting of tears in her eyes. It was weird how seeing someone you loved just made all those built up walls inside crumble. "Umm," she mumbled, forcing the tears away. "I guess I'm lost."

Cole let out a huff of breath. When she looked to him, she saw he was running a hand through his hair. It was short, but there was just enough that the motion ruffled it up. She remembered when it was long and stood up like a porcupine's quills. He shook his head and smiled down to the ground. "You always knew how to make an entrance," he said as his eyes found hers. "Follow us back to town. We were headed for breakfast. You hungry?"

The waitress raised her eyebrows but said nothing as she took the order from the only female customer in the packed restaurant. When the food arrived, Lissy tore into it with her usual enthusiasm. She hardly slept and considered herself fairly productive. That routine required lots of energy dense foods and caffeine. Mid-bite she asked, "Where am I? I feel like I've stepped into some sort of men only _Planet of the Apes_ situation?"

Cole smirked with his mouth full. He sat to her right, so close their elbows touched every time he lifted his fork to his mouth. Cole was left-handed; she'd forgotten how inconvenient it was to dine next to a leftie. "You're in the middle of oil country. Surrounded by rigs. We all just got off a night shift." The two men across from her nodded in agreement, but didn't bother to stop eating to speak. Cole leaned closer. "There are some rough types here, though. You're damn lucky I found you and not someone else."

Lissy looked over the room again, this time noticing a few men whose eyes held a dangerous gleam as they stared back. She instinctively tucked herself closer to Cole. His body tensed and froze at the contact, his fork freezing halfway to his mouth. Lissy leaned back immediately. "Sorry," she muttered for no reason other than embarrassment. Cole shook his head and continued eating as if nothing happened.

When emptied plates were taken away, one of Cole's coworkers leaned back patting his stomach. His eyes lighted on Lissy and then Cole. "Welp," he said. "Me and Nik are going to take the truck. Cole, you gettin' a ride with your friend?"

Cole's eyes opened wide at the question. His coworker shrugged infinitesimally, a smirk playing at the corner of his mouth. "That's fine," Lissy blurted. "I can give you a ride. I'm headed back to town."

"I don't want to be a bother, Lis," Cole said.

"It's no bother. I'm headed to Granddad's. You live two houses down. Unless you've moved! Of course, you've probably moved! I can take you to your new house or your wife, I mean, family or whatever..." Lissy chuffed out the last sentence in a rush, feeling her cheeks redden.

The man named Trey snorted out a short breath and stood, stretching his back. "Come on, Nik," he said, tapping the other man on the shoulder. "I'm beat. I want a shower and a bed." He dropped two twenty-dollar bills on the table and winked at Lissy. "It was nice finally meeting you, Elizabeth Grant," Nik said, tipping his cap in her direction as they turned and left the restaurant. It took a few minutes before Lissy realized she'd never given the man her full name. She wondered how he knew who she was.

Cole sat stiff at Lissy's side, watching them go. "Well," he finally sighed. "I guess you are giving me a ride home." He smiled softly, glancing at her before draining the last dregs of his coffee.

He fiddled with the radio, finding a country station that finally suited him, but turned the volume down low. "What are you in town for?" he asked. His tone was indifferent, but the way he avoided Lissy's eyes made her think the question was more than idle talk. Her chest tightened at having to answer the question for the thousandth time. Every time someone saw her they asked. She hadn't been back to the town in almost ten years, though, so that was expected.

"Granddad passed," she finally whispered.

Cole's hand froze on the radio knob. His eyes jerked to hers and stared. "Lissy, I'm..."

She shrugged her shoulders. "It's fine. He was in a lot of pain. He's gone to a better place," she said by rote.

"Pull over," Cole said. She turned to him with a questioning glance. "Pull over," he repeated.

She eased the SUV onto the gravel side of the road. The vehicle shuddered as an eighteen wheeler blazed past. Before she could fully turn, Cole had his arms around her. Her body went stiff at first, but soon the familiar smell of his skin and the warmth of him thawed her muscle and bone. She melted into him. When he started to run his hand up and down her spine and whisper, "It's okay, Lis. I got you," she felt her body shudder and for the first time since her granddad died... she cried.

Lissy felt emptied, like a wet towel wrung out to the point of breaking. She sagged into Cole's chest, letting out a huff of breath. She suddenly felt excruciatingly exhausted, more dog-tired then she had felt after a week of sleepless nights. His hands were still on her, rubbing up and down her back slowly. "Let me drive. If you're like you used to be, after a good cry you're useless until you nap," he said. Lissy nodded as he opened the passenger side door and darted around the front of the car. She slid over the center console and slumped into his seat.

As he adjusted the seat belt, he clucked his tongue in disapproval. "What?" she asked.

"I'm getting your car disgusting. You've got oil rig all over the place now."

She waved a limp hand at the dash. "Rental," she said. "I don't own a car." He nodded as he fired the ignition and pulled carefully out onto the highway.

The familiar road blazed past in the window. Old buildings and even trees were still recognizable despite the years she'd been away. Bigger, older, more decrepit, but they were still the same. This place hardly ever changed. The only major difference were the specks of machinery she could see in the distance. The horizon was filled with pump jacks and oil rigs. "There must be a boom?" she asked, motioning to the nearest rig.

Cole nodded. "Yep, I'm making a hell of a lot of money right now. Saving it all, though, or at least I'm trying to. Every boom is followed by a bust."

"I never pictured you as the type," Lissy said to the window. "You always wanted to play baseball or coach."

"Yeah, well, life happens. I got into some trouble after you left. My records shit for coaching kids."

"What happened?" she asked, looking to him.

His hands clenched the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turned white. He stared out the front window as if the road would require evasive maneuvers at any moment. He tilted his head and shook it. "Just stupid stuff, Lis. I'd rather not talk about it."

She wanted to ask more questions, but she bit her tongue. Ten years was a long time. She barely knew this man sitting next to her. She turned back to her window just as they passed the familiar city limits sign. "Population's up," she commented.

"Just a bunch of roughnecks," Cole added without looking away from the window. "They'll leave soon enough."

They pulled into Cole's familiar driveway, two houses down from her granddad's house. Lissy could spot the unfamiliar cars of her distant relatives crowding the small brick two-bedroom. She cringed, sliding down into her seat. Cole looked in the direction of the house and shook his head. "I've been out on the rig all week, otherwise I would have known something was up." He looked to Lissy and sighed. "I'm sorry, Lis. I've been so busy with work and... Well, I should have checked in on Jack more. I'm sorry."

"It wasn't your job," she muttered.

Cole reached across the console, grabbing her hand gently. "He was a good man. I should have gone over and said hello more." He smirked shyly. "Can't say as he ever liked me, though."

Lissy smiled for the first time in days. "Well, he had good reason. Seeing as how you were such a bad influence on me."

Cole returned her smile. "Sure enough." He glanced at the crowded house and then to his own porch, raising an eyebrow. "You want to come in for a while? Rest a bit?"

Lissy let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding as she nodded. "If you don't mind. I can't take all those strangers over there."

Cole nodded and pulled the keys from the ignition. "What's mine is yours, as always."

The house was almost exactly as she remembered. Same ratty orange-green couch, the same blue recliner that no longer reclined, and the same wood floors polished to a high shine. The one major change was the massive TV opposite the sofa. Connected to it were copious wires and boxes, some she recognized as Apple TV and gaming stations. "Have a seat," Cole said. "Watch whatever you want. There's drink and food in the fridge. I'm gonna take a shower."

"Does your sister still live here?" Lissy asked, pondering the little girl with pigtails.

"Sarah's in college," Cole said. His shoulders set back in the proud stance of a father. "Baylor on full scholarship for track."

"That's amazing!" Lissy smiled. She remembered how hard it was on Cole when Sarah's father skipped town. Cole was eighteen years old and forced to raise his ten-year-old half sister alone. Their mom had died giving birth to Sarah. Cole had never known his father.

Cole shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. "Yeah, she's fast, Lis! She wants to be in the Olympics." He let out a contented sigh. "Anyway, I've got to shower. I smell like hell. I'll be back in a few." He turned and walked down the hallway to his bedroom. Lissy heard the gurgle of the old pipes and the hiss of the water as the shower started in his bathroom. So little had changed in the house, she wondered if he still used the same vanilla soap, the same coconut shampoo. She clicked on the TV, but her eyes closed too quickly to recount what she was watching.

Her eyes fluttered open slowly. The TV was set to a news station, the perky reporter droning on about some celebrity cell phone hacking scandal. Lissy was covered in a dark grey fleece blanket, her knees curled up to her chest. She was leaning against something very warm. Turning, she found Cole asleep at her back, his head lolled back and his mouth wide open. He snored softly as he inhaled.

He was cleaner now, but still unshaven, and dressed in a white cotton T-shirt and blue jeans. His arms were crossed on his chest with his hands tucked into his armpits. Feeling suddenly uncomfortable at their closeness, Lissy scuttled to the far end of the couch. The movement woke him. "Hey," his sleep addled voice croaked.

"Hey," she answered back.

He rubbed at his eyes with a knuckle, blinking through the doorway into the kitchen. The clock on the oven blinked 11:37. "Shit!" she yelled, jumping up from the couch. "Granddad's funeral is at 1 pm!"

Cole looked at her with his forehead wrinkled. "It's alright, Lis. When I found you asleep I called the house. They know you're resting here."

She put a hand to her forehead. She felt another headache brewing, a consequence of insomnia and stress. "I still have to get dressed. I have to make the final arrangements..."

"Final stuff is taken care of," Cole said. "Some Aunt Iris said she had confirmed the limo and catering company you paid for yesterday?"

Aunt Iris, from what little Lissy had gleaned over the past three days, was a control freak. She probably loved the fact that Lissy had gone MIA the morning of the funeral. Lissy nodded, slumping back onto the couch. Cole reached to the small table on his side. "Your phone has been ringing off the hook, though. Seven missed calls from Ethan?"

She took the phone from him and scrolled through the missed call notifications and text messages. Ethan was worried. He wanted her to call. He loved her. She clicked the power button to off and stuffed the phone in between the cushions of Cole's couch. Cole watched her carefully. "Not someone you want to talk to?"

Lissy shook her head. "Not right now."

They sat in silence for a long time, watching as the newscaster learned how to make a hamburger with glazed doughnuts for buns. It was something Granddad would have loved to watch. Lissy almost laughed. "What is it?" Cole asked.

She flicked her chin at the TV. "Doughnut burgers," was all she said.

He smiled and ran a hand through his hair, a sure sign he was nervous or worried about something. She stood abruptly. "Well, I've got to go get ready." It was impossible to hide the dread in her voice. She didn't want to go back to her old house, now full of people she didn't recognize and their fake condolences.

Cole stood in front of her. She had forgotten how tall he was, how he towered over her when he stood close. He reached out hesitantly and put both hands on her arms, halfway between her elbows and shoulders. He squeezed lightly. "Take a shower here. Tell me what you need from the house. I'll go grab it."

She let out a long sigh and nodded her head. "I have a black hanging bag in my old room. My dress is in there. Grab the black heels in my luggage at the bottom of my bed."

"Yes ma'am." He paused before leaning in and planting a kiss on her forehead. "I'll be right back." He grabbed a baseball hat, pulling it down low on his forehead before stepping out the front door. Lissy paused, scanning the living room before walking down the short hallway. Cole's stepfather's room had a large bathroom with a walk-in shower. She hesitated at the doorway, before turning to her right and walking into Cole's room.

He still had the same dark blue comforter that she had gifted him after high school graduation draped on his Queen sized bed. His pillows were all scrunched in the center. Cole slept in the middle, sprawled out like an octopus in all directions. Or at least that's how he used to sleep. There was a new dresser. It smelled like fresh cedar. On top there were five pictures. In three, Lissy recognized the cherub like face of his sister Sarah, now a young woman. In one, she was wearing a graduation cap and gown standing beside Cole. The other two were at track meets, Sarah with her long, tan legs stretched out in a full sprint.

There was another girl in two of the pictures. She had bright blonde shoulder-length curls and big, blue eyes. In both pictures, her arms were wrapped around Cole as she grinned at the camera. She was adorable and looked like one of those people who made everyone around them happy. Cole looked happy in the pictures. It was completely ridiculous, but Lissy's chest tightened the longer she looked at them together. She was jealous.

She shook her head and walked into the bathroom. The familiar smell of Cole overwhelmed her in the small space. She was right. He still used the same vanilla soap, coconut shampoo, and musky cologne. Those smells were imprinted on her brain, taking her back to a place she'd thought long gone.

She turned the faucet handle and pulled the small metal thing that diverted the water to the showerhead. She stepped out of her clothes and into the tub. The water was gloriously hot, soaking into her skin and warming her from the outside in. She let it fall over her scalp, run into her eyes, down her shoulders and over her body. After a long soak, she finally shampooed and conditioned her hair. Without thinking she shaved her legs and armpits with Cole's men's razor. Afterwards, she scrubbed it with soap and replaced it on the shelf, paranoid about telling Cole that she had used it.

A knock at the door scared her. "Lis, I brought your clothes. I'm going to crack the door and put them on the counter," he yelled through the wood.

"Okay," she replied.

The door creaked loudly as he opened it. She peaked from behind the shower curtain as his arm reached into the bathroom and hung her black bag on the sink counter. His arm pulled out and then back in, plopping a black duffel on the floor. "This is totally awkward, but I grabbed you clean underwear and your makeup and hair dryer too." He laughed. "I think it was more awkward that I just said it was awkward..."

"Well, I just shaved my legs and pits with your face razor, so now we're even," she said. She heard him laughing as he pulled the bathroom door closed.

She shut off the water as it began to cool, stepping out onto the fuzzy rug and grabbing a towel from the hook. She wrapped it around herself, tucking the end into the top so that it made a robe of sorts. She could hear Cole talking to someone outside in the bedroom. There was only his deep voice, so he had to be on the phone. She couldn't make out the words.

She grabbed the black duffel, dumping its contents on the countertop, and pulled underwear on beneath her towel. Gripping a brush she started to dry her hair. The wet strands stuck to her neck and face, making her itchy. When that was done she put on a minimal layer of makeup: concealer, powder, mascara, lip-gloss. Next, she unzipped the black bag, revealing a knee length sleeveless black dress she'd bought the day before at the Macy's two towns over. She hated the dress, hated what it symbolized. She swore to burn the thing the moment the day was done.

She slid it on over her underwear and strapless bra, but couldn't quite manage the zipper on the back. She walked out of the bathroom to find Cole fiddling with the sleeve button on a white dress shirt. His forehead was wrinkled in frustration. Lissy walked to him and, brushing his hand away, slipped the button through the tiny hole. Then she turned her bare back to him.

Without a word, he reached down and grabbed the zipper, slipping it up her back. He brushed her hair over her shoulder to finish the zipping. "Thanks," Lissy said, turning back to face him. "You look nice," she mumbled as he slipped on a suit jacket.

"I thought I'd come with you," he said, looking at her from beneath his lashes. "If you don't mind."

A weight lifted from her shoulders then. She nodded and let out a puff of breath. "I'd appreciate it. I feel like I won't know a single person there."

As it turned out, she knew a lot of people at the funeral. Granddad's domino and coffee buddies all attended, their faces sad and solemn as they touched her cheek or held her hand, smiling softly. Those were the people that had a hand in raising her, not these strange relatives that clustered at her sides.

Tons of her old high school friends appeared. Those she had been closer to, cried and hugged her. Even vague acquaintances shook her hand and looked apologetic. They all knew her granddad from the various school fundraisers he organized. Everybody loved Jack. Everybody watched as he was lowered into the cemetery hole and the priest said the final goodbye. Only Lissy and Cole watched as dirt was shoveled over him and he was absorbed into the earth.

Cole stayed at her side through everything. At the post-funeral reception, one of their old classmates, Susan Bing, smiled broadly when she saw them. "I always knew you two were for forever," she sighed. She looked so happy that Lissy didn't have the heart to correct her. Cole simply leaned over, patted her shoulder and kissed her on the cheek. "Thanks for coming, Suzy," he said. "Do you think you could make sure everyone has something to drink in there?" he asked, pointing to the large banquet room where people were gathering.

Lissy suddenly remembered Susan Bing: high school cheerleader, class Vice-President, and avid teacher's pet. She loved to help, couldn't stand to be still and _not_ help. The girl nodded quickly, a look of determination forming on her face as she rounded the corner. Only when she disappeared did Lissy's cheeks flame red. "I'm sorry, Cole. I should have corrected her... about us."

He shook his head as the next group of people approached to shake our hands. "Don't worry about it, Lis."

"But I don't want people to think... I mean I saw those pictures in your room."

Cole raised his eyebrows. "It's alright. Don't worry about it."

Lissy's phone vibrated in her purse. She pulled it out, sighing as 'Ethan' scrolled across the top. She tapped ignore and placed it back in her purse.

The last group of people drifted past her, shaking only Cole's hand when she stopped sticking hers out. She wanted this to be over.

Luckily everyone seemed to want to leave. The crowd dispersed slowly at first, and then all at once. Aunt Iris came and hugged Lissy too tight. "I'll be going home now," she said. Lissy hated that the woman called her Granddad's home _her_ home now. She supposed Aunt Iris was trying to claim the property. Jack didn't have a Last Will & Testament. He trusted people to take what they needed and nothing more. Lissy didn't hold his sense of optimism. She nodded briefly, but didn't say a word to her great aunt.

Cole cleared his throat and looked to Iris who continued to just stand there expecting something. "I think Lissy will come over to my house for a bit." Aunt Iris smiled fakely and turned on her heel towards the exit.

Cole wrapped his arm around Lissy's shoulders, pulling her into his chest. He kissed her temple. "Come on, let's get you away from this crowd," he said.

They settled on the sofa, sitting maybe a little too close for people who hadn't seen each other in ten years. Cole sighed as he lifted an arm and draped it over the back. "I've got to tell you something, Lis." His tone was nervous, she thought. He shook his head, looking away from her. "You always had the _worst_ timing, Lissybug." The sound of his loving moniker for her brought back strange feelings, feelings she thought were long dead. He looked back to her and sighed. "I'm getting married tomorrow."

Shock. Shock was the best word to describe what Lissy felt, then frustration, jealousy, bitterness, and, finally, embarrassment. She felt all those things in less than ten seconds. She put a hand to her forehead, feeling suddenly dizzy. "That's great," she mumbled. "That's fantastic. Congratulations, Cole. I should leave then. You probably have a million different..."

His arm wrapped over her shoulders, pulling her to him. She felt the weight of his cheek on the top of her head as he leaned into her hair. She knew she shouldn't want the touch, but he was so _familiar_. So...

She took in a deep breath, realizing she was shaking. Cole's hand rubbed her upper arm. "What's her name?" Lissy asked.

"Abby," he answered. "We've been dating for over six years. She's a good woman." He paused, taking in a breath that she felt as his chest rose beneath her side. "I was talking to her when you were in the shower. She knows I went to the funeral with you. She sends her condolences. She wanted to come, but she's out of town... having a beauty day with her mom and Sarah. Sarah started balling like a baby in the beauty salon. She was fit to be tied... and really sorry she couldn't come to the funeral."

"Wow," Lissy whispered, pulling away from him. "I mean, wow. I'm so embarrassed." She stood suddenly, stomping to Cole's bedroom where she began shoving belongings into her bag. Cole followed her, leaning a shoulder against the doorjamb.

"You don't have to go," he said. "She's fine with you here. She lives here normally, but she's been at her parent's house finishing up wedding stuff the last week. She knows you're my best friend."

Her eyes jerked to his, her motions frozen. She had never heard him say that, not once in the almost four years they dated, not since they met the summer before first grade. She smiled nervously, touching a hand to her temple. She shoved the last of her hair dryer cord into the duffel bag. She picked it up, tugging the strap over her shoulder. "I still shouldn't stay here. I mean no bride wants her fiancé shacked up with an ex."

Cole shook his head. "Abby's not like that. She's not the jealous type. I explained to her what was going on at your granddad's house and asked her if you could stay and she said and I quote 'if I didn't force you she would make me pay.'"

"And she knows... everything about us?" Lissy asked, her shoulders almost up to her ears.

Cole nodded, biting his bottom lip. "She knows you were my first everything: kiss, girlfriend, love, sex, broken heart."

Lissy let out a ragged breath. "How can she possibly be fine with me staying here then?"

Cole shrugged. "She's kind of just this great human being." He smiled then, inwardly as much as outwardly. Lissy's stomach roiled. She was the jealous type, even if that jealousy was hateful and completely unwarranted. She shook her head and tried to push through the doorway.

Cole grabbed her shoulders. "You're staying," he said with a smile. "And tonight you're coming out with the boys. I already called them and they all want Lissybug there."

"Where?" Lissy said, exasperated. She flung her hands in the air and let them fall to her thighs.

Cole raised his eyebrows. "My bachelor party," he said as if it was obvious. "I promise, no strippers or drunken brawls. Just good old fashioned fun with some friends." Lissy knew the look of determination on Cole's face and even though her gut was telling her to get the hell away from this whole explosive situation, she knew he would never take no for an answer. She dropped the duffel bag to the floor.

"Alright, but I need some clothes. I'm not going out in this," she said pointing to the black funeral garb.

Cole smiled. "Done, I've got your luggage in the living room."

She let out a breath, only slightly frustrated that so much planning had gone on behind her back. "Who's coming tonight?"

Cole bounced on the balls of his feet. "Nik and Trey, who you met this morning. Along with Chase, Dallas and Monty." The last three names were more than just familiar to her. She had hung out with those three guys and Cole every day for most of her life. "Like I said," he added. "They all know you're here and they're going to kidnap you if you don't come out voluntarily."

He smiled softly. "We've all missed you, you know."

Dallas picked her up and twirled her. He had always been a big guy, but now he was positively huge. "Lissy Bug!" he had shouted as he scooped her up. When he sat her down she gasped for air.

"Christ, Dallas. So... do you work out?" she asked playfully. He nodded, putting his hands on his hips so that every muscle in his arms flexed. "I own my own gym."

"Not just the President, you're also a member?" she teased. He laughed and nodded, just as Chase and Monty descended on her. "Lissybug has returned!" they yelled at no one in particular.

Trey and Nik sat on the couch, sipping from beers as they watched the scene. Chase locked her head under his arm, grinding knuckles into her hair as he turned to them. Monty chuffed, "You guys don't know this, but this girl was kind of our Queen Bee back in high school. She always got us into trouble."

Lissy escaped Chase's headlock and slapped Monty on the shoulder. "I did not!"

Monty pretended his shoulder hurt as he swayed back dramatically, landing on the couch between the two flabbergasted oilfield workers. "She did. She's a horrible delinquent. That's why she left us no doubt, running from the authorities." The room quieted at his statement, all eyes suddenly falling to the floor. Her disappearance had been abrupt and completely unexplained. She left for college and just... never came back.

Cole cleared his throat as he walked into the room. He had changed into a dark green dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and blue jeans. Lissy loved him in green. It was his color. There was a small tattoo just on the inside of his left elbow, but she couldn't make out the text. He clapped his hands together, "So what's on the agenda?"

Monty spread his arms on the back of the sofa. "Titties and tequila," he presented proudly.

Cole frowned instantly, his eyebrows tugging together in disapproval. Monty sighed theatrically. "Or a simple trip to our favorite local dive bar for some beers and steak? Followed by an epic game of Call of Duty?"

"That's more like it," Cole said with a sigh of relief.

"Thank God," Dallas added. "Misty would have my balls in a vice if I went to a strip joint."

"Yeah," Chase added with a long drawl. "Katie would kick my ass too." Trey and Nik nodded in approval, but said nothing. Those two were men of few words, Lissy thought. Monty let his head fall back on the sofa, before eye balling Lissy. "See what I'm dealing with here, Bug? A bunch of old men!"

She sighed theatrically. "I'm an old woman too, Monty. I can't take as many titties and tequilas as I used too." She tried to hide it, but a mischievous smile cracked her face. The other men in the room laughed. Monty tapped a finger to his nose and then to her, winking. "There's my rebel," he mouthed.

The seven of them took her rental SUV and descended upon Lou's Steak Pit. The place was a local institution because they cooked the best filet mignon in the state. No kidding, one of Jack's favorite Travel Channel foodie shows had visited the town and said as much. The party ordered seven filets, seven baked potatoes, five beers, one lemon drop martini, and a Sprite for Nik.

"I'm an alcoholic," he said without apology. "Sober for five years."

"Lissy, we have to get you away from the frou-frou drinks," Monty said, shaking his head at the bright yellow martini. "It's an embarrassment to the steak you are about to devour."

She took a slow sip. "It's vodka and I love it."

Cole sighed loudly as he leaned over and dipped a tortilla chip in the chili con queso appetizer dip. "Leave her alone, Montgomery. She'll be drinking those damned lemon heads until she's ninety." Cole always called her favorite drink lemon heads, because he said they tasted like the sour candies.

"Even after. I want them dripped directly in my old lady IV." She smiled as she took another sip. Cole returned her smile, shoving the whole chip in his mouth.

"I'll make sure of it," he said over a full mouth.

"Jesus," Monty laughed. "She's back one night and you two are already besties again. And we had such a bromance brewing..." He feigned a sob and looked away. Lissy bumped into his shoulder and smiled. He wrapped an arm around her back and pulled her in to kiss her temple.

"So what the hell are you up to," Dallas asked between chips. He stopped mid-motion and locked eyes with Lissy. "I'm sorry... I mean... I know about Jack and all... We should have been there but Abby had us... " His eyes darted between me and Cole. "I just meant..." The big guy stopped, his cheeks clearly flushed from awkwardness.

She smiled softly. "It's alright, Dallas. You mean what do I do for a living?"

Monty chimed in, "Yep, how doth our lady bring home the bacon?"

"Marketing," she sighed grumpily.

"Try to be less excited about it, Lissy," Chase said with a worried smirk.

She shook her head. "It's... I mean the money is good, but sitting around doing photography just to sell crap. Figuring out what color scheme will appeal to a lonely housewife so she'll buy a certain brand of overpriced margarine. I hate it."

"That sucks, seeing as how you left us to go pursue your dream," Cole spat just before shoving a chip in his mouth and looking to the TV above the bar. His face flushed red, but his expression wasn't angry. He looked more ashamed or shocked at what he'd just said. The table fell deathly silent, all eyes caught somewhere between Cole, Lissy, and the chip crumbs remaining in the center of the table.

"I've got seven filets, medium rare," the waitress said, interrupting the difficult silence. The woman looked to the table anxiously; probably worried she had the wrong order. "That's us," Monty finally said, waving the plates to each person.

The rest of the meal was consumed with idle chitchat. Dallas, Chase, Trey, and Nik all brought out pictures of their wives and kids for Lissy to see. Monty rolled his eyes and insisted that was the death nail in the worst bachelor's party ever. After the steaks and potatoes disappeared, desserts were rolled out. Most of the men settled on apple pie, an all-American, manly pastry they agreed, while Cole and Lissy ate strawberry cheesecake. The fourth round of beer and martinis blended into the fifth and sixth, forcing Lissy to hand over the SUV's keys to Nik.

They made their way back to Cole's house, settling around the living room while he powered up the PS4 and big screen TV. "We've only got four controllers," he said, passing out the devices. "I'm not in," Lissy sighed, leaning back into the couch cushions. "I have no thumb to eye coordination."

Chase laughed, "Thumb to eye?"

"Don't got it," she said with emphasis.

"You're on my team, Bug, like always," Monty said as he plopped down on her left. "Point out the baddies. I'll kill 'em good."

Cole passed out more beers and made Lissy a vodka and Cran-Apple, along with bringing Nik a Dr. Pepper. After handing out the drinks, he fell on her right, practically smashing her whole side. "Scoot over, Lis. You're taking up the whole couch, fattie," he laughed.

Her mouth fell open with feigned indignation. "I am not!"

"You're ginormous. Biggest gal I've ever seen," Monty said as he clicked through the games opening scenes. "Are you gonna take me home tonight?" he sung.

"All down beside that red firelight, are you gonna let it all hang out?" Chase and Dallas chimed in.

"Fat-bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round!" All three of them serenaded, Cole adding his voice to the mix.

Trey laughed, "Gawd, don't quit your day jobs, boys."

"They like to joke that my ass is huge," Lissy said to Nik and Trey who were staring dumbfounded as the four high school buddies continued to sing the rock oldie. Monty paused the game, leaning forward so that his elbows were braced on his knees. He looked at Trey and Nik as if he were about to divulge a state secret. "The truth is, Queen here used to about the size of a stick." He circled his thumb and index finger, holding them up on display. "Literally, she was this wide all around. Then, boom! We hit 7th grade and she's got an ass like Shakira and..."

Cole reached behind Lissy, knocking Monty in the back of the head before he could finish the sentence, though his hands held up in a cupping shape to his chest more or less finished the thought for him.

Dallas laughed. "And we wonder why Monty is still single?"

Monty puffed out his chest. "I don't wonder. Bachelor for life, son. Bachelor for life!"

"Just because you haven't found a girl that can tolerate you for more than twenty-four hours doesn't make 'bachelor for life' your mantra," Cole joked as he took a long draw from his beer.

Monty leaned up against Lissy, kissing her loudly on the cheek. "I'm still waiting for Bug to find out she has a super hot, long lost sister. That's my dream girl." He looked at her with his held tilted back and his eyes squinting. "But a red head with bigger boobs."

Lissy laughed out loud. "Long lost sister with red hair and double D cups. I'll keep my eye out." Monty shook his head and resumed his video game. "That would be so fucking hot," he said to himself.

The guys took turns playing the violent first-person shooter game. Cole made nachos at around one in the morning and kept the liquor flowing. Lissy was getting dizzy and hot from too much alcohol. She slipped outside to the porch swing she hoped was still on the back porch. She found it just as she remembered, though someone had sanded and repainted it. She sat down, letting her head tilt back as she swung.

Her head was blissfully empty of worried thoughts and anxiety as she watched the stars overhead blur into white stripes. It had been years since she had been good and drunk. She smiled at the irresponsibility of the act.

"What are you smiling about?" Cole asked as he sat next to her. He dropped a dark blue hoodie in her lap. It was lined with polar fleece and some sort of soft white fluffy material in the hood. It was super soft and smelled intensely of Cole. She pulled it over her arms, feeling they were covered in goose bumps even though she hadn't felt cold. Cole was always good at that, knowing what she needed before she did. "I was smiling about being drunk," she laughed. "I haven't been in a long time."

"Too responsible?" he asked.

"Too much of a stick up my ass," she retorted. He looked at her with his eyebrows tugged together, but a smile on his lips. She had the insane urge to kiss him, but knew it was the vodka talking. She looked away to the backyard. Their tree was bigger, but the fort was still there.

"Remember when we built that stupid thing?" she asked.

"We were six," he said. "It took us the whole summer."

"At the end of it you hung a sign on the door that said 'No girls allowed.' Then after you realized that I, in fact, was a girl. You added 'Cept Lissy.'"

Cole took a sip from his beer. "Sign is still there. It's inside now."

"What?" she asked. Popping up from the porch swing, she sauntered toward the structure, immediately climbing up the four steps and plopping onto the splintered wood floor. Cole followed after her. She fingered the edge of the sign with her name on it.

"It seemed bigger back then," she commented, noticing they took up all the tree house's floor space now.

Cole shook his head. "It's the same. It's us that no longer fits."

She sucked in a breath, feeling like she was about to pull the pin from a grenade. "I'm sorry about leaving you the way I did, Cole. I'm really... sorry."

At first he didn't look at her, but when he did she saw that his eyes were wet with tears. He wiped one away with the back of his thumb. "I just want to know why. I want to know why you didn't call or write or tell me a god damned thing?"

Lissy sat up, bracing her back against the rickety wall of the tree house. She wrapped her arms around her knees, pulling them close to her chest. "I was so scared. I hated that you were..."

"Stuck here?" Cole finished for her.

"No, I mean..."

"You mean what, Lissy?" he half yelled. "My step father left and I had Sarah; I couldn't go!"

Whether it was the alcohol or years without closure, Lissy didn't know, but the words spilled out of her. "Aunt Maggie said she would take Sarah. You could have come with me, but you wouldn't. I begged you to come to Tech!"

"I wasn't going to dump my little sister off at some aunt's house she barely knew in Minnesota! She would have been terrified!" He paused for a moment and then added, "Besides, you left Tech."

"Because I didn't want to be there alone! That was our plan, Cole, not my plan, _our_ plan," she cried. She felt tears erupt, falling down her cheeks. They were hot and salty when she licked them from her lips.

"Hey, guys?" a voice interrupted. Lissy looked out the small window, finding Chase with his hands in his pockets. Trey and Nik stood not far behind. Cole dropped from the tree house, headed towards them. Lissy heard the men saying they were leaving; they had loving but impatient wives waiting at home. Cole hugged each one roughly and waved them goodbye, making sure Nik was the only one with keys.

He peeked back into the tree house, but didn't climb up.

"How does Nik know my name is Elizabeth?" she asked abruptly.

"I talked about you a lot in the court-ordered AA meetings where I met him," Cole answered without hesitation. "He's my sponsor." He looked down to the ground, before speaking again. "Monty and Dallas are staying here. I'm sure they'll pass out in the living room. You've got my bedroom." He disappeared into the house as she sat there. Her happy buzz was long gone.

By the time she came back in, Dallas was passed out in the recliner snoring like a moose. Monty and Cole were playing a racing game now. "I'm going to bed," Lissy said. "I'm exhausted." They both nodded, not looking away from the screen.

She wheeled her luggage into Cole's bedroom and then the bathroom, deciding another hot shower was just what she needed. She turned on the tap and undressed quickly. After a few minutes she decided just to sit down in the tub and let the hot water fall over her. It felt amazing. When the water turned from hot to warm to barely lukewarm, she finally crawled out and wrapped herself with a towel. She wrapped another around her hair as she slipped between the sheets and fell asleep.

A touch on the back of her neck woke her. She looked at the bedside clock. The neon green letters blinked 4:13 am.

"I didn't mean to wake you," Cole said as he wrapped his arms around her middle. She breathed out, letting her head fall back to look at him. He lay on top of the comforter.

"What are you doing in here?" she asked sleepily.

"I'm sorry I didn't come with you. I don't... I don't regret my decision to stay. I couldn't leave my sister. I'm sorry," he mumbled. In the low light she could barely see his face. She reached out and touched him instead. She ran her fingers across his scruffy jaw, up to his eyes and eyelashes, over his eyebrow and down the ridge of his nose, finally landing on his lips.

He leaned forward planting them on hers. She breathed him in, instantly remembering the touch, taste and smell of Cole. Her body responded just as it always had, by turning hot and wanting. He leaned up on his elbows, running a hand up her neck and into her hair. His thumb brushed against her earlobe as he deepened the kiss. Then he backed away. He licked his lips and rolled onto his back. "That's it, Lis. That's all we get."

She felt a tear roll down her temple at the same time she smiled. "A goodbye kiss, huh?" she asked.

He nodded silently. "I love her. Abby I mean. I _really_ love her. I can't screw it up. It's just you're here now and it's so easy..." He ran a hand through his hair, tugging at it.

"To remember only the good stuff?" she finished for him.

"Yes," he breathed out on a long huff. "Every time I look at you, or smell you... all I can remember is every time you made me smile or laugh. It's _so_ fucking ridiculous!" He yell whispered, frustration clear in every syllable.

"Is she..." Lissy struggled with the words. "Is she a good person? Is she worth you?"

Cole shook his head and smiled. "She's so much better than me, it's not even funny. I met her seven years ago when I was acting like a damned lunatic. She scraped me up off the ground and set me straight."

"What kind of trouble did you get into? You said you ruined your record?"

He let out a long sigh, letting his head fall sideways so that he stared her right in the eye. "You broke me. I mean broke me, Lissybug." She felt tears fall to the pillow beneath her. "I'd only ever been with you. So, when it was clear you were never coming home, I became sort of a man whore as you used to call them. I, honestly, have no idea how many girls I slept with back then. I was too drunk and high to keep count. I got into a fight one night and was charged with a Drunk and Disorderly. It could have been assault, but that was dropped after the guy's friend testified against him. I still had to do the AA meetings for a year, though, and it's on my record. I can't apply to work at the school for another three years."

"Cole," she breathed out. She reached out, holding a hand to his cheek. She felt his eyes were wet.

"Sarah was a mess. She was turning into a teenager and seeing these bar skanks in and out of the house every night and morning. God, I was such a fucking loser." He put a hand over Lissy's, twining their fingers. "Abby was a volunteer for Sarah's soccer team. I kept dropping her off late for practice. One day, Abby just tore into me. She's about five feet two inches tall, so you can imagine how it looked. This angry little thing just ripping into me!" He smiled. "The next day I asked her out." His smile grew even wider. "She told me no."

Lissy laughed. "Which made you want her all the more?"

"I'm talking weeks this girl tells me hell no that I'm not 'her type.' I cleaned up my act. No drugs, no girls, no alcohol. I dropped off Sarah early to practice. Volunteered to help out at the games... for weeks! Finally, she said I could take her out to coffee." He shrugged. "The rest is history. We dated for almost five years and we've been engaged for thirteen months. You'll like her, I promise. She's not a superficial girl all in to her image and money. She's honest and open and doesn't take anybody's bullshit. She's a lot like you, actually. She's a third grade teacher at the elementary school, but she does some research work on the side for the University."

Lissy wanted to hate Abby, but she did sound kind of unimaginably perfect.

"So," Cole grumbled. He turned on his side so they were fully facing each other. He didn't drop her hand, but held it clasped to his chest. "Tell me about Ethan. Why are you ignoring this guy? Is he an asshole? Do we need to go show him what happens when he messes with our queen?"

Lissy let out a long sigh. "He's the complete opposite of an asshole. He's kind and thoughtful and..." She paused, trying to fully describe Ethan and his overwhelming goodness. It felt impossible. "He's an orthopedic surgeon," she huffed out as if that explained it all.

Cole's eyebrows shot up. "Surgeon? I'm glad I'm taken because a roughneck trying to compete against a surgeon would be pathetic."

Lissy smiled. "It'd be an evenly matched competition."

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Yeah," she wholeheartedly agreed. They looked at each other for a long breath, but then let it go. Something felt suddenly different as she breathed out. There wasn't an intense heat, so much as comforting warmth between them. How long had it been since she had a best friend?

"So, why aren't you taking Mr. Perfect's calls? He must have left forty messages on your phone today?" Cole asked.

"How would you know?" she said, leaning back so she could see him better. He looked guilty.

"Your 4-digit password is always my birthday- 1102," he answered. "I'm guessing your longer password is still the name of that awful hamster you had in the sixth grade."

Lissy smiled. "MrSkittles007," she laughed.

"So?" Cole asked again, returning the question to Ethan's ignored voicemails.

"He asked me to marry him," Lissy breathed out. "I freaked out. Or I didn't freak out, because I love him, which freaked me out... but then I got the call that Granddad was doing really bad and I came here. So, I guess I..."

"Ran away," Cole finished for her.

"How do you always do that?" she asked. "Finish my sentences?"

He shrugged. "You're my best friend, Lis. I know you really well."

She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "You already know Ethan, anyway," she said. "You spoke to him."

Cole suddenly looked guilty of something. His brows tugged together and his cheeks flushed red. "When?" he asked suspiciously.

"Freshmen year. He was my RA, remember?"

Cole let out a huff of breath as he dragged a hand through his hair. "Holy shit, that's the same guy?" Lissy nodded. "You've been dating him for 9 years?" he asked.

She shook her head and turned to stare up at the ceiling. "No, I transferred to UT Austin before sophomore year. I didn't see him until eight months ago. I broke my arm skydiving and he was the attending surgeon in the ER that day."

Cole let out a puff of laughter. "I don't even know where to start with that information."

She turned back to him, smiling deviously. "I was also in a bikini."

He returned her smile and shook his head again. "You were always a mess. Always doing the craziest, wildest stuff. Always the first to take a dare. I'm pretty sure you had sex with me that first time just because Monty was razzing us about being virgins."

Her heart crumpled inside her chest all of a sudden. She actually felt it shrink and fold, flip and fold again, like origami. "We screwed up, didn't we?" she asked. "In high school, we should have just stayed friends. Then we wouldn't have hurt each other so much."

Cole reached out, tucking hair that had fallen into her face behind her ear. "Hell no. I wouldn't trade everything I had with you for anything. My first kiss, the first time I had sex. All _that_ with my best friend? The person I trusted most in the world? So we weren't meant to be. That's okay. It doesn't make our past any less perfect."

"Wow," she said. "You're so... mature."

"It took me ten years and the love of a really understanding woman to grow up, but I like to think I turned out okay," he said with a smile.

He took in a deep breath. "But you have to stop running, Lissy. You have too. That's literally the worst thing you can do to a person you care about. If you want to be with this guy, Ethan, just tell him. Just because you love somebody doesn't mean you're going to turn into your loser mother. You have to know that by now?" She nodded as her soft tears become a steady sob and he pulled her into his chest.

Lissy jerked awake as Monty burst through the bedroom door. Cole's arm was wrapped around her, and when she moved he grumbled awake. "Shiii-it," Monty muttered, stretching out the vowel of the word.

"What?" Cole said, suddenly alarmed. "What's wrong?"

Monty looked nervously from Cole to Lissy. "Dude, are we still having a wedding? Or do I need to find an escape pod ASAP?"

"What?" Cole repeated sounding more confused the second time.

"You're in bed with Bug and she's naked," Monty said. "Are you still getting married to Abby, because we're supposed to be at the church in two hours."

This time Cole muttered, "shit" as he jerked from the bed.

"I'm not sure what that means!" Monty yelled as the shower started in the bathroom. "Getaway vehicle or not?"

"Not," Lissy moaned, covering her eyes to stop the sunlight from penetrating the hangover haze. "He loves Abby and I'm his best friend. The end."

Monty bounced on the bed, smiling like a fool as he tried to peel her hands away. "Sooo, tell me everything... was he as good as you remembered or has old age made him, you know..." He held out his finger and then theatrically let it wilt downward.

She cracked both eyes finally, staring at his fool's grin. "You are disturbed. You know that, right?"

He nodded. "This is true, but you still love me."

"Also true," she moaned, pulling the comforter up above her head to block out the daylight again.

"No ma'am, not gonna happen," he pealed in sing-song voice. "You gotta go get purdy."

"For what?" she asked, honestly starting to get frustrated with his antics.

His eyes went wide and his mouth gaped open. "Well, if you're not absconding with the groom... you are the best man. You got to go get cleaned up!"

"Monty, I'm not the best man," she choked out, completely dumbfounded.

"Yes, you are," Cole said as he emerged from the bathroom with a towel around his waist and one on his head drying his hair. "Abby's already got you a dress ready."

"What?" she screamed. She popped out of bed, just managing to grab the sheet to cover her naked body.

"My eyes!" Monty screamed, immediately smashing his face into the bed. "My eyes will never un-see that!"

"Consider yourself lucky," Cole said with a laugh. "Now get the hell out of here. You need to take Lis to Abby's house so she can get dressed."

Monty bounced up, his eyes thoroughly clamped shut as he felt his way out of the bedroom. Cole smiled as he looked to Lissy. "You're my best friend, right?"

"Yeah," she answered without hesitation.

"Then stand up there with me so I can become a husband knowing you support the decision."

He said it like a statement, but she knew it was a question. Yesterday morning she thought she felt one way, but now they had closure and everything was different. She smiled and nodded. "Fine, but you owe me so big, buddy!" She pointed a threatening finger at him as he smiled ear to ear.

"That's a debt I look forward to paying. Now get dressed!" He grabbed a tuxedo bag out of his closet and went into the bathroom to change just as Monty burst back through the door. "Jesus, Bug, we have an hour and half and you're just laying around naked! Let's go!"

Abby was a whirlwind of cuteness and firm decision-making. She took one look at Lissy as Monty dragged her through the door and set her whole team into action. Lissy had things brushed, washed, and plucked beyond recognition. Abby ordered the professional make-up team to stop work on her, and start on Lissy. She was wearing false eyelashes, red lip-gloss and a black dress with cap sleeves that had buttons opening into a sort of V-neck. She had a white flat-cotton, sleeveless shirt underneath the dress with black buttons leading to her neck. An orange bow tie, or a "re-fabuloused groomsmen's bow tie" as Abby called it, adorned her hair. "It looks like a revamped tuxedo, right?" Abby asked with a beaming smile, looking for approval from all her bridesmaids as she turned Lissy to the floor length mirror.

Everyone cooed and praised at Abby's last minute creation. Truthfully, Lissy couldn't help but smile at herself in the mirror. Abby came almost to Lissy's shoulder as she leaned against her side. She smiled. "I was madly jealous when Cole told me he found you at that gas station, and downright unruly when he asked if you could stay with him."

"Abby," Lissy choked out.

The bride shook her head. "It doesn't matter, though. I trust him and he's told me enough about you that I trust you too. I used to hate you, don't get me wrong, but only because you hurt this man I fell in love with. But then I realized that you were kids then, you were just a girl and he was just a boy. After the nuclear fallout of high school, all that's left is that he loves you as a best friend. So, I moved that sign on the tree house inside out of the rain two years ago, because I knew you'd come back to him one day and would want to see it."

Lissy didn't have time to recognize the kindness of Abby's words or her act, before Abby hugged her tight and the distant sounds of church music began to play. "You've got to go stand with the boys now. They're already in the church!" Abby yelled. She swatted Lissy on the butt and pushed her towards the door just as her bridesmaids swarmed, making last minute adjustments to the bride's dress, veil, and bouquet.

Lissy walked through the various hallways, turning in a few wrong doors before she found the chapel. Cole, Monty, Dallas, and Chase were all standing near the preacher at the front of the room. The four boys from her childhood were transformed in formal attire. They were all handsome. Their eyes turned to her as she entered and scuttled around the side of the filled pews. Monty stepped down as she approached, pulling her in between him and Cole.

Cole smiled. Leaning down he whispered, "You look awesome."

"Your bride is a magician," she muttered back.

Sarah waved enthusiastically from the front row, before running up the steps and hugging Lissy. Lissy could barely believe what a beautiful young woman the girl had grown into. Sarah scuttled back to her seat, with a little pushing from Cole, as the bridal march chorus began.

Lissy cried during the ceremony, but so did Monty, so she wasn't alone. Cole looked blissfully happy and Abby simply glowed. She was one of those people like Granddad, Lissy thought. Everyone was drawn to her because she made everyone feel better without even trying.

The preacher announced them as a couple and they walked down the aisle way, hand in hand. Lissy watched Cole disappear behind the doors before she took Monty's arm and they led the other groomsmen and bridesmaids out of the church. Cole and Abby were taking a separate car and Dallas and Chase were driving with their wives, so Lissy was left to endure Monty's sad attempts at flirting with all four bridesmaids as they rode in the limo to the reception.

The four young women obviously knew Monty, though, so they giggled and turned him down. He settled back in the seat next to Lissy. "They all want me," he said, winking at them. They laughed and shook their heads as the limo pulled up to the large reception hall.

A live band was already rocking when they entered and Monty quickly pulled her out onto the dance floor. Monty had many faults, but being a bad dancer was not one of them. If anything, he had improved with age. Before Lissy knew it, she was laughing hysterically as she twirled and twisted.

"May I cut in?" asked a distinguished voice that made Lissy's heart jump.

She turned to find Ethan standing in a flawless suit, his eyes round and worried as he reached a hand out to her.

"What are you doing here?" Lissy asked, stepping closer to him.

"Who is this guy, Bug?" Monty asked, immediately taking a defensive stance at her side.

"He's... He's fine," she said, shaking her head. "He's my..."

The music cut suddenly as the DJ's voice boomed over the speakers. "May I present Mr. Cole Grandin and Mrs. Abigail Luke-Grandin!" The crowd burst with applause as the couple entered the room. Abby's hair was a bit mussed and her lips were swollen. Cole's lips, likewise, were tinged ever so slightly with lipstick that had been hastily wiped off.

"So much for waiting for the honeymoon, right?" Monty jibed. As the applause died down, he cut an evil glare at Ethan before walking slowly toward the open bar. He turned back suddenly, pointing two fingers at his eyes and then one menacing one at Ethan, before turning back again.

"Who is that?" Ethan laughed.

"Monty," Lissy sighed. "You get used to him."

Ethan grinned before turning his full attention back to Lissy. He stepped closer. "Cole called me last night at three in the morning. After he threatened my life if I hurt you, he told me to get my ass down here immediately. I was on the first flight out this morning. It was only slightly alarming that your ex-boyfriend, the one you told me was your first love, called me at three in the morning from your cell phone... clearly inebriated."

Lissy smiled, realizing that Cole had called Ethan before coming into the bedroom. She shook her head. "He's such a meddling pain in the ass."

Ethan took a step closer, tentatively laying a hand at her waist. "I'm so sorry about your granddad, love. Why didn't you let me come with you? I would have come with you. You know that, right?"

Lissy caught Cole's eye across the dance floor. He smiled and nodded, raising his eyebrows as he gestured towards Ethan. Lissy puffed up her chest, filling it with bravery, and turned back to Ethan. "I should have asked you, but I was scared. The thing is..." She hesitated, and looked into his blue eyes. God, he had gorgeous eyes. "I do want you to come with me, because I want to go everywhere. I want to quit my stupid marketing job and just go... everywhere. Africa, Japan, Australia, Iceland..."

"Ok," Ethan said, cutting off her declaration. Lissy's breath caught in her throat. "What do you mean ok?" she asked.

He smiled, shaking his head. "Ok, let's go. Let's pack our bags right now and let's go. I can apply to Doctors Without Borders and we can go. We can leave before then. We both have money saved up. I was going to buy one of those houses outright... with cash! We can go anywhere you want."

She let out a rough breath, realizing that she had been bracing for an argument. "All I want is to love you, Lissy. I would go anywhere with you," Ethan said, leaning down to put his forehead against hers. She breathed in his smell. It was like clean cotton, oatmeal cookies, and something distinctly male and _Ethan_.

"Yes," she whispered.

He smiled. God, he had a beautiful smile. "Yes to what, love?" he asked.

"Yes, I'll marry you."

As if he'd been waiting for her to say that very thing, he dropped to a knee and pulled the little black velvet box from his pant pocket. She tugged at his suit jacket, trying to get him back up before he made a scene. Too late, she realized that Abby had her arms raised, hushing the band and crowd. Her eyes were as big and wide as saucers; Cole's not much smaller as they took in the view.

"Elizabeth Grant, will you marry me?"

She clenched her teeth and smiled. "I already said yes," she whispered.

He theatrically put a hand behind his ear. "I can't hear you. What was that?"

"I said yes!" she yelled, unable to control her smile.

The whole crowd burst into applause as Ethan slipped the diamond ring onto her left hand and stood, kissing her fully on the mouth. Abby rushed them, almost knocking Lissy down with her hug. She was crying as she looked at the ring. "Oh my god, it's gorgeous!" she wailed. "Oh my god, it's Tiffany's!" a bridesmaid shouted.

Cole thumped Ethan on the shoulder, pulling him into a one-armed man hug. "Congratulations, brother. Lissybug is a handful, but she's worth the trouble." He winked at her as the other bridesmaids swarmed her now bedazzled ring finger, pushing her farther from her fiancé and her best friend.

"Speech! Speech!" Monty yelled over the dancing crowd an hour later. He pointed the microphone towards Lissy, who immediately backed away, trying to hide behind Ethan. Abby, stronger than she looked, grabbed Lissy's arm and pulled her forward. Monty shoved the microphone in her hand and backed away with a Cheshire Cat grin.

"Umm," Lissy said into the humming speakers. The crowd stood silent, staring at her. "Some of you probably think I'm a pretty odd person to be giving a toast at Cole's wedding, but the truth is... he's my best friend. He's been my best friend since we were six years old and built a tree house in his backyard. He was my best friend my whole life and I thought I'd lost him, but my granddad..." The word choked out of her before the thought was fully finished. Once she realized what it was, she immediately started crying. Abby ran a hand up her arm; squeezing it lightly in a gesture so comforting it was as if they'd been friends for years.

Lissy licked her lips, lifting the microphone to her mouth again. "My granddad always wanted the best for me. So I think, in his own way, he got me here this weekend so I could be a friend to Cole again. So I could meet this amazing woman he's married." The crowd applauded, everyone looking to the angelic Abby who graced the group with a dazzling smile. Lissy looked only at Cole, though. "So I could get my best friend back," she said as she raised her champagne flute. "To the boy I knew and to the man he's become." The crowd whistled and cheered as they toasted Cole.

As the night wore on, she realized she couldn't stop touching Ethan. Their whole relationship she had been hesitant to give him _everything_ , but now she felt she could. "I love you," she suddenly blurted.

Ethan's eyebrows screwed up, looking at her as if she were sick. "Are you alright?" he asked, with a laugh. "How much have you had to drink?"

"Two martinis," she answered. "Can't I tell you I love you?"

He leaned in, pecking her on the lips. "You can, you just usually don't."

She tilted her head back and shouted, "I love you!"

"God, get a room," laughed Monty as he plopped down in Lissy's lap. "I'm the last man standing, Bug. The last true bachelor."

Lissy suddenly smiled. "Give me your phone, Ethan." He handed her his phone and she quickly typed in his passcode and scrolled to his photo album. She thumbed through the pictures until one caught her eye. It was Ethan's sister Rose, in a bikini top on an Italian beach. She had a rope of strawberry blonde hair, more red than blonde, twisted into a side braid and giant sunglasses on. Lissy held the phone up for Monty to see. "I'd like you to meet Rose, my soon to be sister-in-law."

Monty's mouth fell open. "Holy shit," he said. "The long lost sister?" He smiled at Lissy and kissed her on the forehead as he popped up. He backed out to the dance floor, holding his hand to his ear as if it were a phone. He mouthed, "Send me her number," as he disappeared into the crowd.

"What was that?" Ethan asked when he realized Lissy was holding a picture of his little sister.

"Nothing," she said. "Don't worry about it."

He smiled. "When you get that look on your face, I always worry about it." She plopped his phone on the table and held out her hand, leading him onto the dance floor.

"I think I'm going to puke," Lissy said as she covered her mouth with a shaky hand.

"Don't do it on your dress or my wife will kill us both," Cole said as he put a hand on her shoulder.

Lissy looked up into the mirror, barely recognizing the woman Abby had created. The dress was made almost entirely of silk and it draped from her frame like an oil painting. It was gorgeous. She forced her stomach to steady. "Right," she said. "I don't want to incur the wrath of a pregnant woman."

Cole smiled. "You'll be fine. This is the worst part. Soon it will be over and we'll be drunk and dancing."

Lissy nodded but dug her nails into the palm of her fisted hands when she heard the music begin. Cole reached down and took her hand, tucking it into the elbow of his arm. "Don't worry," he said. "I won't let you fall flat on your face... hard."

She laughed as he led her out of the small white tent the resort had erected on the beach. She could see the white chairs and small trellis Abby had insisted upon fifty or so meters away, near the water. "I need to know something," she said suddenly. "What's the tattoo on the inside of your left elbow?"

Cole smirked, pulling her a little closer as they walked. "It says 'Keep Love.' It's from Oscar Wilde. _Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead._ Abby had it on this poster in her old apartment."

"Oh my god, I'm so nervous," Lissy muttered, as all their friend's and family's faces turned back to watch them approach.

"Do you love the guy or not?" Cole asked in a whisper. "Because Monty still has the escape vehicle prepped and ready." He lifted an eyebrow. "Pretty sure he's made out with your future sister-in-law in it, but it's still prepped and ready."

Lissy laughed just as she finally spotted Ethan. He wore a white dress shirt that was rolled to his elbows and khaki pants. "I love him. I want to marry him," she said, feeling suddenly more relaxed now that she could see her fiancé.

"Good," Cole said. "Because I won't tolerate anything but the best for my best friend."

Lissy and Ethan had travelled the world for two years. They volunteered when they could, Ethan as a doctor and Lissy as his dutiful assistant. She took pictures constantly. Her blog had over two million subscribers and she had just been contacted by _National Geographic_ magazine for a potential travel assignment. "He's perfect for me," she said with confidence.

"I know," Cole said. "I just wanted to hear you say it for the thousandth time." He rolled his eyes as if annoyed, but Lissy knew he wasn't. Their friendship was as strong as ever. They emailed and called each other at least once a week and Abby and him had even flown to Spain to vacation with her and Ethan last year.

As they walked down the aisle, they passed through the few friends that had been able to fly to New Zealand on such short notice. Monty and Rose in the back row, holding hands, looking flushed and well kissed. Sarah and her boyfriend from college near the middle. Raven sat between her "friend" Lisa and Simon. Lissy didn't have time to think about that awkward threesome. Grant's adorable parents were in the front row on the right.

Abby sat on the left, crying uncontrollably, her tears falling down on her gigantic belly. Her and Cole's first baby was due in two months, but Lissy was worried she'd pop any second. Cole kissed Lissy's hand as they reached Ethan and the preacher before leaving to sit next to his wife. "We are gathered here today to unite Elizabeth Grant and Ethan Harding..."

Lissy smiled as the preacher said the words that would unite her to the man standing in front of her. She looked to her best friend who was doing his best to control Abby's histrionics with an apologetic smile on his face. He winked at Lissy just as the preacher handed her and Ethan each other's wedding bands.

"You put up with my crazy and I love you," she said as she slid Ethan's wedding band down his left ring finger.

"I'd follow you to the ends of earth and further," Ethan said. She felt her whole heart widen and expand. It grew at least two sizes if that was possible. "And I love you too."

The crowd smiled at their simple, yet perfect, vows. When Ethan slipped the platinum band on her finger next to her diamond engagement ring, it was like the final piece of a puzzle falling in to place. She took in a breath and let it out, realizing she now had everything she'd ever dreamed of wanting.

She hoped Granddad was up in heaven, smiling down at his handiwork.

THE END

~

Thank you for reading these short stories. If you enjoyed them, please take a moment to leave a review at your favorite retailer. - Amanda

About Amanda Uechi Ronan

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