-Hello.
Can you see me?
I'm hiding.
I'm gonna be hiding
for the whole episode
of "The Tonight Show:
At Home Edition" tonight.
Let's see if you can --
Oh, did see me move?
Did you see -- Ah.
Did you see?
Just kidding.
Hi, everybody.
All-new "Tonight Show:
At Home Edition" starts now.
♪♪
-♪ We in the house ♪
Come on!
-Tonight join Jimmy
and his guests,
Shailene Woodley, Maluma,
musical guest Thom Yorke,
and the legendary Roots crew.
It's the "Tonight Show:
At Home Edition."
-♪ We in the house, y'all ♪
And now, here's Jimmy.
-Hey, everyone, welcome to
"Tonight Show: At Home Edition."
This is the hidden episode
because we tried to make
this space into a room where
we might do some jokes from,
but the acoustics
are pretty bad,
and the lighting isn't great.
The wallpaper's great
for what the room normally is
but not for this.
So we tried to make it look like
a setup, but it's not a setup.
Anyways, so this is kind of
a hidden episode
because we'll never
shoot like this ever again.
This will be the first
and last time we broadcast
from this exact space,
doing exactly this.
So, you found me.
You found the hidden episode.
Congratulations.
[ Laughs ]
Well, let's get to some jokes
here, everybody.
Costco announced that,
starting next week,
all customers
will have to wear face masks.
It's good 'cause now
you can stay anonymous
while you buy
6 gallons of cheese balls.
I love cheese balls.
-You do.
-What did we get --
We did get them in, like,
a bucket or whatever.
-Every summer. Every summer.
-Gosh, it tastes better the more
you -- no one eats them.
-Three months in,
they're even better.
-[ Laughs ]
They almost become
a gelatinous cheese ball.
-One big ball.
-They become spreadable.
Meanwhile,
a new undercover video
apparently shows
Home Depot employees
refusing to wear masks at work.
And people are shocked.
They said,
"Home Depot has employees?
Where?
Hello, hello, hello?
I need help, help.
I just don't know where, where
to get, get,
a ball-peen hammer, hammer.
Anyone work here, here?"
I guess I'll just use
the self check-out, check-out."
That was my echo training.
I saw that Disney World
is trying to reopen,
and they're considering
asking guests to wear masks.
It might be necessary
but also takes the fun out of
seeing a photo of yourself
on the roller coaster
looking like this.
You got to do a lot of eye work.
For the whole time,
because you never know
when they're gonna take
the flash, either.
They'll still charge you
for that photo, though.
Don't worry about that.
For the first time ever,
movies that were streaming only
will now be eligible
for Academy Awards.
They made the switch after
realizing the only movies
in theaters this year
would've been
"Sonic the Hedgehog"
and "Dolittle."
[ Chuckles ]
It was just announced that all
the world's major film festivals
are going to be consolidated
into one virtual event
that you can view online.
They've even come up
with a catchy name for it --
Netflix.
In a new interview,
Dr. Fauci said,
"We're not ready
for sports to come back yet."
I don't know.
I think I was ready yesterday
when I watched eight hours of
the World Series of Solitaire.
Well, this is great.
Yesterday, the cast
of "Melrose Place" reunited
to raise money
for struggling actors.
Which means all the money raised
will go to the cast
of "Melrose Place."
I saw that an 11-year-old boy
in Colorado
caught a trout
the size of a toddler.
At least that's what he said
until his mom was like,
"Ugh.
Please unhook your brother."
I read about a beekeeper
in London who uses the sounds
from his hives
to make electronic music.
So any time you're stressed
during quarantine,
just remember, you could be
living with that guy.
♪ Bzzz, bzzz, bzzz,
bzzz bzzz bzzz, bzzz, bzzz ♪
♪ Bzzz, bzzz bzzz bzzz
bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzz ♪
♪ Bzzz, bzzz, bzzz,
bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz ♪
Good.
[ Laughs ]
Finally, I heard about
a group of German doctors
who posed naked online
to raise awareness
for their lack
of protective equipment.
It taught me two things --
one, doctors everywhere
need our support.
Number two, it's still cold
in Germany in April.
There you guys have it.
That is our monologue
right there.
I appreciate that.
Thank you
for listening to those.
We have a great show tonight.
First of all, I wasn't to say
Salesforce is helping us out.
Anything you can donate
to Salesforce between --
Sorry. To World Central Kitchen
between now and June 1st,
Salesforce will match
up to $250,000.
So, you can text "meals"
to 80100,
and that will totally help
and totally work.
I think it charges
your phone a dollar.
You can do it really quickly.
You can do it right now.
Have your kids do it.
Show your kids how to donate.
"This is how you do it, kids."
And, Salesforce,
thanks for stepping up.
That's awesome
that you're doing that.
We have a great show tonight.
Shailene Woodley
is on the show tonight.
I love talking to Shailene.
Normally, I would --
You know, I would give her a
hug, and clearly we can't do it.
I don't even know if people
are gonna hug anyone.
But she taught me a cool hug
for those of you with people
that you can hug.
I can hug you, honey.
But what she does is,
she hugs the opposite way,
so our hearts touch.
-Mm.
-That's cute.
And so I've done that
a couple of times --
shown that to
a couple of people.
They like that.
But that's --
It always reminds me
of Shailene Woodley.
Also, Maluma.
Gosh, this guy is on fire.
He's just the biggest
of all big.
I love Maluma.
After he did that concert,
by the way,
that we did with Lady Gaga,
"One World Together At Home,"
his song went to number one
that he did, "Carnival."
Went to number one,
because he's great.
And then, speaking of music --
So check this out.
You're not even gonna
believe this story.
Thom Yorke, from Radiohead --
Thom Yorke --
was thinking about
what song to do for our show.
We love Thom Yorke,
we love Radiohead.
A piece of paper falls out
of his piano thing,
and it's a song that he --
he didn't know if he was
gonna finish or not.
He finished it for our show.
"Plasticine Figures."
The debut of the song.
Never been heard
outside of Thom Yorke's brain.
Will be played tonight
for you guys.
Thom Yorke, brand-new song,
"Plasticine Figures."
What?
That is the coolest thing ever.
I love you, Thom Yorke.
Hey, guys, it's time
for a little thing called
"What are you Doing Wednesday?"
-♪ What are you doing
this Wednesday? ♪
♪ What are you doing
this Wednesday? ♪
-This first one here --
a lot of the --
The first three are dad ones.
This first one
is from @shavaunblair.
Helps his baby out
with a top-secret mission.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
-♪ Doom doom, da-doom-doom ♪
Should you choose to accept it.
This next one is a dad.
He likes to multitask.
While making dinner,
he has to do other things.
Watch.
Shh.
Parent of the Year right there.
I love that move.
Parent of the Year.
That's good.
Cooking and pulling the swing.
This next one is from
@sidevelinbabies.
Her sister told her dad
about her bad grades,
and her dad came in
and talked to her about.
Watch.
-You had two tests.
-I did them.
-You got a 53 and a 60.
You can cheat.
It's online.
-I did cheat!
-And you still got
a 53 and a 60?
-Yes.
-No way!
He's the Dad of the Year.
"Honey, you cheated and still --
Well, cheat better next time.
You cheated and still failed?"
[ Laughs ]
That's great.
This last one here
just kind of made me feel good.
It's a neighborhood,
sent from @Laurantfornel,
posted a video
of her neighborhood
doing a socially distant
line dance.
It's pretty cool.
Check it out.
♪♪
♪♪
[ Clapping ]
Ah, makes you feel good.
That is awesome, guys.
Congrats to everyone who just
joined in and did that.
That must have been
a cool moment for everyone.
We'll be right back with more
"Tonight Show," everybody.
♪♪
♪♪
-Two kids coloring together.
Some friends
celebrating a holiday.
Lovers caught in an embrace.
An office hard at work.
A mixed-race family
caught in a candid moment.
And a sad boy
looking out of the window.
We may not be able
to make commercials right now,
but we can still make pictures
zoom in and out.
Stock images.
♪♪
