-On your marks, get set, go!
-Go, Winnie,
go, Winnie, go, Winnie.
Go, Winnie, go, Winnie,
go, Winnie.
-Careful!
-Yes, you got to go.
Franny, go! You can go!
-I did it!
-Go, Franny, go, go, go, go!
-Go! Slide on in!
-Here I come!
-Franny, don't let Daddy
beat you!
-[ Screams ]
-[ Laughs ]
-...Franny!
-Franny!
-I'll get you next time.
Let's start the show.
♪♪
-♪ We in the house ♪
♪ Come on ♪
-Tonight join Jimmy
and his guests --
Queen Latifah...
Pete Davidson and Judd Apatow...
musical guest James Taylor...
and the legendary Roots crew.
It's "The Tonight Show:
At Home Edition."
-♪ We in the house, y'all ♪
-And now here's Jimmy.
-Hey, everybody.
Welcome to "Tonight Show:
At Home Edition."
I want to thank @AlexPresley-
on TikTok
for that back slide race.
We've been doing it, and
it's really fun at the house.
All right.
Let's do tonight's monologue.
-Wind me up, barber!
It's time for the monologue!
-Hey, guys.
This weekend is Mother's Day.
But because of the pandemic,
Hooters isn't offering
their annual free meal for Mom.
I'm sorry, honey.
Kids and I will
try to make it up to you.
We'll make your day special
still. Don't worry.
Well, it's our eighth week
of quarantine,
and I heard that some people
are trying to relax by
turning their homes into spas.
Yeah, you just lie facedown,
turn on some soothing music,
then your kids jump on your back
until you turn on a movie
for them.
Listen to this. Disney is now
offering the Disney bundle --
Gary. Gary, get out of there.
That's --
What were you doing in there?
-Looking for something
to roll in again.
-Yeah.
Gary might have caught
some fox disease or something.
-[ Chuckles ]
-Gary, what are you even doing?
Maybe you're just an inside dog.
Gary? Gary.
You seem concerned.
Listen to this.
Disney is now offering
the Disney bundle
which includes
Hulu, ESPN+, and Disney+
for $12.99 a month.
And this is cool -- for an
extra $5, you can own Disney.
Well, this isn't good.
I read that Hawaii authorities
have been arresting
rogue tourists
who are not abiding to
the state's quarantine orders.
Also I'm 99% sure
that "Rogue Tourist"
is a straight-to-DVD movie
starring Liam Neeson.
[As Neeson]
"I'm the rogue tourist.
I've got one grass skirt,
two bowls of poi.
Race you to the gift shop."
Check this out. The first sample
of Kanye's Yeezy 451 sneakers
have been released.
Take a look at these things.
Huh.
They look like
they're whispering, "Water."
[ Chuckles ]
It's the only shoe
where they ask
if you want it
in a cup or a cone.
I saw a new study that says
raptors may have hunted solo
and not in packs
like in "Jurassic Park."
So I guess the 1993 movie
about a totally safe
dinosaur theme park
isn't historically accurate.
Gotcha! Ha ha!
And finally, this is incredible.
A 14-year-old
high-school graduate
has been accepted into
eight California Universities.
When I heard that, my first
thought was, "Damn, I got to
transfer my kids
into THAT homeschool."
Guys, that is our monologue
right there.
Thank you very much. What a show
we have for you tonight.
Queen Latifah is here.
Judd Apatow,
Pete Davidson are here.
And we got great music
from James Taylor.
The one and only James Taylor.
Oh, my gosh.
He's doing "Close Your Eyes"
with his wife and his son.
I know. I was
thinking about jumping in
and seeing if I could get --
Maybe we'll do a song.
"Close Your..."
That's going to be just --
It's just going to be beautiful.
I love him so much.
I love the whole fam.
I'm so happy they're here.
Guys, it's time for "Hashtags."
♪♪
♪ Hashtags ♪
-Hey, guys,
it's time for "Hashtags."
The hashtags today are
#QuarantineMomQuotes.
These are quotes from your mom
made during the quarantine,
because Mother's Day
is coming up.
So here we go. Our first one
here is from @trixsyoyoforreal.
They say, "When my mom goes on
her daily walk, she always says,
'If something happens to me,
call me.'"
This one's from @quarantineq14.
She says, "Mom --
Aunt Cheryl wants to Vroom.
You have to show me
how to do it.
ME --
Mom, do you mean Zoom?
Mom -- No. Vroom."
[ Laughs ]
Vroom should be the next level.
That's $15.99 if you want the
full -- if you want to Vroom.
Right now you're Zooming.
I want to Vroom! Yeah.
This one's from @Hannahzylstra.
Zylstra?
"My mom now ends
our conversations with,
'Love you, drive safe,
and don't lick anything.'"
Okay. Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Mom.
I won't lick anything.
Thank you.
This one's from @amandathinks13.
Her mom said, "I heard Gigi and
Hadid are going to be parents.
Good for them."
[ Laughs ]
"Gigi and Hadid."
[ Chuckles ]
This one is from @mbodyspirit.
They say, "Yes, you can
keep using the iPad.
Please keep using the iPad."
That's a mom that needs a break.
These are #QuarantineMomQuotes.
This one's from @teachnwolves.
She says, "We are rationing
the Cool Whip."
"Hey!"
[ Laughs ]
"Hey! We're rationing
the Cool Whip, okay?
One dollop.
One flop on each dessert."
This one's from @thechap9.
They say -- "Mom said,
your dad is your parent now."
"Your dad is
your parent now, okay?
I had enough, okay?
Had enough of you, so your dad
is your parent now, okay?"
These are #QuarantineMomQuotes.
This one's from @countbasic2.
He says -- His mom said --
[ Laughs ]
"I've been watching
that Amazon show
with the funny British lady,
'Scumball.'"
[ Laughs ]
"You mean 'Fleabag.'"
Yeah. It's not "Scumball."
[ Laughs ]
This one's from @lckcvmj.
She says her mom said,
"I'm not an angry person.
You guys just make me angry."
"Simple as that.
I'm not an angry person."
This last one's from
@herndongearis.
He says his mom says,
"Dinner is poured."
There you guys have it.
Those are our hashtags.
Happy Mother's Day, everybody.
We'll be right back
with more "Tonight Show."
Queen Latifah, Judd Apatow,
Pete Davidson, James Taylor.
Come on back, everybody.
♪♪
-I want to pitch!
[ Indistinct conversation ]
♪♪
-Yes!
-Ohh!
Franny, What are you doing?
♪♪
-Powerhouse.
♪♪
[ Laughter ]
-Winnie, you're so good.
