-Welcome back to the show,
buddy.
-Thank you.
-I want to show a picture,
because Kim Kardashian was on
our show a couple weeks ago.
-Yeah.
-And she showed us a photo.
She showed me --
Explain this to me.
So, you're out to dinner
with Kanye?
Is that Timothée Chalamet
and Kid Cudi?
-Yes.
[ Laughter ]
-What was --
-And I am -- that is really me.
I'm not superimposed at all.
[ Laughter ]
-That's an actual,
real photo, yeah.
-So, yeah,
it was Cudi's birthday.
-Okay.
-And he was like,
"Hey, let's go to Nobu," and
I was like, "That's awesome."
"I'm going with, like,
my manager and producer."
I was like,
"Cool. That'd be great."
So, I got there a little early
so I could, like,
give him my card.
You know, so it could be --
You know, I thought it was just,
like, us three, you know?
-You were gonna treat
with your credit card.
-Yeah, you know.
-Sure.
-Buy my boy a birthday dinner,
you know?
-That's nice.
-You know, 'cause he's, like --
He's the best musician
that's ever lived, and, yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ]
And it's like an honor, right?
-That's nice.
-So, I get there,
and we're outside,
and, you know,
we order a couple things.
I'm like,
"All right, this is cool."
Everybody's like, you know,
skinny and whatever.
It's all fun.
[ Laughter ]
-"Everyone's skinny."
-Yeah.
-It's like,
"I can treat for these people."
-Yeah.
I was like, "This is chill."
-Yeah.
-Then, Timothée Chalamet
shows up, and I'm like,
"All right, also skinny.
Gonna be fine."
[ Laughter ]
No problem."
And then, Cudi goes, "Hey,
Kim and Kanye might come by."
And I was like,
"That would be awesome."
And then, I was like, "Oh, no."
[ Laughter ]
So they come by,
and we're outside, right?
And then, Kanye goes, "Let's get
the special room in the back."
And I was like, "Oh, no!"
[ Laughter ]
I was like, "Yeah!
All right! Cool, sick."
So, we're sitting in there,
and I'm, like,
texting my touring agent,
I'm like, "Yo,
you gotta book more shows."
[ Laughter ]
"[Bleep] getting real
over here."
[ Laughter ]
So, then, you know,
the waiter comes,
and Kanye's like --
"What would
you like to order, Kanye?"
and he goes, "I want that stuff
that's not even on the menu,
that crazy stuff."
I was like, "Oh, my God.
The crazy stuff?"
-"Crazy stuff"?
What does that mean?
-I just want to say, like,
Kim and Kanye,
the cutest couple ever.
Very, very sweet people.
I had a really good
time with them.
-Yeah, they're great.
Yeah.
But you still don't want to pay.
Like, "Dude, you're Kanye.
You should treat."
-No! Like, it was fine.
It was just, like --
It actually wasn't as bad
as you would think.
But, you know, it's not like
it's Applebee's, you know?
[ Laughter ]
It's Nobu, you know?
-It's Nobu, yeah.
-Which is like 77 Applebee's-es.
[ Laughter ]
-Dude...
Did you just pluralize
"Applebee's"?
-Yeah, yeah.
-Applebee's-es.
-Applebee's-es.
[ Laughter ]
-Tell me about
what you're doing.
I'm so excited about this.
What are you doing
with the new "Mortal Kombat"?
How are you involved with this?
-"Mortal Kombat 11" --
it's my favorite number.
-I love "Mortal Kombat."
-Yeah.
Also, well, they are paying me
to be here to talk about it.
-Oh, wow.
[ Laughter ]
-Yeah. Yeah, and I --
Yeah, that's why.
[ Cheers and applause ]
That's really --
-Thank you for being honest.
-Yeah, no, yeah.
You know, I'm trying to get
a helicopter to Coachella.
[ Laughter ]
They were like,
"Do you like this game?"
I was like, "Sure."
No.
[ Laughter ]
It's actually really sick.
There's this guy that
I really like to kill in it.
[ Laughter ]
'Cause he looks like
a real douchebag.
[ Laughter ]
So, there's this guy,
Johnny Cage.
-Oh, yeah, Johnny Cage.
-Yeah.
So, he does splits
and punches you in the [bleep]
is his special move.
[ Laughter ]
-Yeah, so it's one of his moves,
yeah.
-And he just looks like
everybody I grew up with
in Staten Island,
so I just kill that dude.
[ Laughter ]
I enjoy killing him.
Also, he has, like,
a hot daughter,
which is, like, weird,
because I'm lonely
and she's, like, not real.
[ Laughter ]
So there's that
in the video game, as well --
sexual confusion.
-Sexual confusion!
With the new "Mortal Kombat 11."
-Yeah.
The effects are,
like, really good.
I'm actually wearing --
I have to shout-out,
"Mortal Kombat" sneakers.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah, they exist.
-Wow.
-Yeah.
They are real things.
-I like --
My dude I like is Scorpion.
-You like Scorpion.
Oh, I got you --
-That's my dude.
-I heard you like Scorpion,
so I got this for you...
-"Get over here!"
-...in case you want
to have fun with your wife
over the Easter break.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-I don't know if this
is gonna fit, but we'll see.
-No, I mean --
Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, me! Oh, I see.
-Yeah. I mean, wear it for sex.
[ Laughter ]
-Thank you. I understood --
I understand the first time.
Yeah. Thank you.
Yeah.
But you do love video games.
I heard you're building
an arcade at your house.
-I am.
So, I live with my mom.
Well, we bought
a house together,
but nobody believes that.
[ Laughter ]
So, I live with my mom, kind of,
so I have, like,
a basement that's, uh, mine.
[ Laughter ]
It's like --
But that's like an apartment,
so I live underneath her.
[ Laughter ]
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
So, like, I'm getting, like, a
little arcade setup down there,
try to make it --
try to make it a little mine.
[ Laughter ]
-What do you have?
What does that mean, an arcade?
Do you have, like,
a bunch of pinball machines?
-Well, no, you know,
I'm gonna get, like,
a "Mortal Kombat" machine.
[ Laughter ]
-No, no, no, you're good.
♪♪♪♪
No, the check has cleared.
The check has cleared.
You're good.
Yeah.
You can have "Mortal Kombat."
But, yeah, we're good.
-Okay, cool.
-So you'll get one
"Mortal Kombat" machine,
but what else?
-Well, I'm redoing
my whole entire --
So, I was calling it
The Man Cave,
but the Mulaneys told me
that if I call it that,
they will no longer
be my friend.
[ Laughter ]
I didn't know.
Do you not call the basement
the man-cave?
Is that weird?
-Some people do,
but, no, you can't.
-Yeah, so now I call it
"The Basement,"
like The Ohio State University.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Yeah, it means something.
-"The."
-Oh, I don't like that college.
I just -- You know.
[ Laughter ]
It's the "The"
that's the important --
-Go, CSI!
Division III.
Whoo!
-Oh, my gosh!
Division III.
D-III, man.
-D-III, baby.
-That's the real deal.
Are you gonna charge people
when they play the video games?
-Hell yeah. Absolutely.
[ Laughter ]
One of my many schemes
I'm working on, Jimmy.
-Pete, we always love
when you come here,
and I'll let you know what
happens with this guy, yeah.
-Oh, yeah, sure.
Thanks for having me.
-Pete Davidson, everybody.
-Thank you very much.
"Saturday Night Live"
returns May 4th.
And "Mortal Kombat 11"
is available April 23rd.
-Go get it!
And get Machine Gun Kelly's
"Hotel Diablo" album coming out.
-There you go.
-My boy MGK's album coming out.
