Have you yet to feel the addicting
sensation of pain a siren call so
soothing that you forget who you are for
a split second or maybe you've come here
to satisfy your weekly quota of misery
and torture well fortunately that is
exactly what I'm going to be
breastfeeding all of you this video put
your le hand tight body pillows to the
side and prepare yourselves because I
have the perfect challenge that just so
happens to foster this so-called pain
can you beat Borderlands 3 with only one
health and no shields gamers around the
world that know of Borderlands should
have shuddered in their undies after
hearing that sentence the enemies in
this game are known to give generous
prizes that consist of bullets and death
having just one health will not be
enough to stay alive during these fights
especially when just getting hit in the
goddamn shoelace renders you into a
paraplegic but that is the name of the
game when you have an irrational
devotion to masochism before we dive
into this run let's talk about the rules
rule 1 in order to get to one health and
zero shields
I need a deathless artifact and the
Roughrider shield deathless gives me one
health and the Rough Rider puts my
shield capacity at zero and yes I know
that the Rough Rider shield was
basically nonsensical this run but hey
the orange in my shield spot makes my
trouser serpent happy rule 2 although
that should have been the end of the
rules I am adding one more no skill
points can be placed into any trees and
no legendary weapons or grenades with
the rule set I want all of you to sit
your ass meat in a comfy chair maybe
with a few friends and family members
open up a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and
sit back
you know who knows maybe you'll even be
a sweet little thing and essentially
pound that like button cuz I would love
that will my power have enough explosive
yield to take down the children of
cringe and the incest Empire tie Rena
and Troy have made will the king of ass
burgers cause me to break my keyboard
let's find out for my vault hunter this
run I decided to elect the one person
that knows not of diplomacy and only of
destruction that vault hunter is our
Russian mama Mo's making her way from
the streets of Moscow she has moved to
pandora to take up the better wages and
submissiveness of its inhabitants I will
allow action skills to be used this run
with the exception of only two uses per
boss fight this is solely the reason
that I chose her iron bear is patented
Russian military
great ass tenderizing technology using
that bad boy during rough parts as a
means of leniency will be the difference
between overwhelming insanity and cum
induced victory the illustrious and
unfathomable claptrap awaited me as I
got off the bang bus unfortunately he
reminded me that I was disgusting not
only did I hold the intellect of a piece
of paper but I also was hideously
deformed with the defect of only one
health after naming myself in tribute of
a great leader that has taught me that
it is okay to be a genetic failure
Benadryl the Vlad off gunner was ready
for the trials and tribulations that
were before her with iron Papa to
protect her from the perverse and erotic
bandits that filled these lands I set
off with the boy clap turd to bring our
divine crusade to the heroin babies that
have invaded Pandora these man children
are members of a degenerate group that
only know two things incessant
douchebaggery and incest they congregate
in large masses and are not sustainable
by the Crimson Raiders I was
commissioned to depopulate these vermin
and that is exactly what I was going to
do
welcome to simple solutions with Senza
on today's episode we will discuss the
importance of the space bar the only
solution this run is to make sweet and
continuous oily fiery spicy love with
that space bar sure hiding from a
distance and using the long-range weapon
is an option but that we need to make
our space bar feel special this run if
for some goddamn reason you're hurting
for some challenging gameplay and wish
to become an autistic savant such as
myself then this is for you to survive
in the unforgiving plains of Pandora
you're going to need to be hitting that
space bar so goddamn much you'll file
rape charges against you this may feel
wrong at first but it is the only way to
combat the systematic torture these
enemies will give you thank you for
watching and let's get back to the run
sheep was not a difficult fight due to
him having very few ranged attacks his
efforts to get close to my petite and
precious Christian body were no
unfortunately this success did lead to
me meeting Lilith and doing so was the
worst decision of my life
I was unionized by this tyrannical
leader and I didn't have a choice
forced to join the crimson raiders to
carry out God's work and destroy the
children of cringe this moment was
miserable and full
Saro one that I will always remember but
hey hey I can't complain at least I was
able to watch the tutorial on how to
make the perfect cup of coffee hey guys
welcome to census Cooking Channel today
I'll show you guys how to make a perfect
cup of coffee so that you can swindle
any scoundrel in your journeys and there
I was off to a dangerous territory to
save my compadre that was being held
hostage by these heathens little did I
know this was going to be the worst hour
and a half of my life due to unforeseen
accidents that just so happened to have
been caused by guns I was getting sent
home in body bags every twenty to thirty
seconds I know many people hate certain
aspects of this game that is totally
understandable but my problem is that
Ellie clearly holds a voluptuous
monopoly over the lands of Pandora
leaving a woman like Mohs or brick
penalized by the worst type of penalty
which is the lack of tangible full-size
body pillows I know it's quite unfair
but just like the infinite bounds of
Ellie's voluptuousness Moses will is
undying and with that the enemies that
rested in her path unfortunately were
subject to the laws of ass tenderizing
holy shit can I stop fuck with new whip
in my possession it was time to head
over and spank up the little delinquent
mouthpiece in the name of unionized work
although we are tempted to head there
now and finish the job we must first
devise a plan for this run operation my
dad smashed my Gameboy so I smashed his
daughter is now in full effect
this damage less run will be quite the
doozy and ice cuisine of essential
nutrients and vitamins will be important
to actually completing this run as your
brainpower and focus need to be at an
all-time high
this run will turn into a psychological
horror fest and you will question your
very existence
remember sticking by your iron bear from
time to time and spamming that spacebar
will be your only salvation our gorgeous
hunk of a man bear will protect us in
times of need but can only be used twice
per boss fight that is why molesting
that spacebar will be our second line of
defense but wait a second you don't want
to hear the plan do you little dog you
you just want to see me in pain you just
want to see this super cool tattoo this
Omega Chad God huh you make me sick all
right it's fine cut back to the run just
fuck this for
it was time to rain martial law down on
the children of cringe compound and
hopefully we won't pop a blood vessel in
the process things were going smoothly
and this torque shotgun was putting in
actual work getting into the compound
resulted in five deaths but in due time
I was inside and ready to penetrate
everything and anything that had nor
ffice these mentally incapable gang
members felt the wrath of my bullet
virus and unfortunately for them the
mortality rate is 100%
mouthpiece will be the first and
definitely not the last to experience
the wrath of my one health madness my
first tussle with them honestly wasn't
too bad seeing as there were literally
hordes of growth stunted humans that
were around me four cannon fodder after
getting thrown into the gutter once I
did the doing of killing mouthpiece and
got the vault map this was expected and
peace was now not an option the children
of bodom knew of my assault against
their empire they were now going to be
expecting the clapping of their mudflaps
after grabbing the map and forcing Tanis
to decipher it with my superior
negotiation skills I was forced into a
dark practice that I had long forgotten
we needed fuel for our getaway ship and
the only method available was to give
the poor creatures around me the active
equivalent of a Thanos snap I am ashamed
of what I have done but we all must
remember that in the eyes of the crimson
raiders these were just peasants getting
to Lilith was as most would say
completely doodoo caca but after just
brute forcing the mobs in my way I
revived the pinnacle of uselessness and
into the dark unknown I went to continue
on with this crusade things were dark
here in Promethea where Ellie helped a
monopoly over thickness palawan held a
monopoly over just being straight up
dingleberries
they had Prometheus delicate little bump
spread open and they were going to town
like an all-you-can-eat buffet
pornstache man needed our help and
unfortunately I was forced to oblige the
amount of times that went down during
this part was ridiculous literally them
just shooting at me in the flacc of my
parachute pants would instantly down me
and there was nothing that I could do
about it this all made me also realize
that my girlfriend was into reverse
cuckolding because she enjoyed watching
me get she absolutely adored it
big dumb idiot was saved again and it
was time to get our hands on a piece of
mallow on Intel that would bring heaps
of help to this crusade but first I had
to meet with one of Reese's connections
these Matawan soldiers had broken a rule
in the legislation of promethium law and
that rule was taking my zero away from
me and it was up to me to punish them by
death for breaking such a thing though
the bounds of my power are that of a
porn star with erectile dysfunction
things were going to be ameliorated with
zero by my side his presence gave me a
form of therapy
he gave me temporary relief from the
pain and sodomy I had been suffering no
waifu project melody or any amount of
toilet paper could ever compare to the
gloriousness that is zero hell even
after we went to town on the mallow on
soldiers he held my hand through the
Giga chat fight I entered that arena to
face Big Brain and even though I pumped
him full of as much damage as I possibly
could he bested my one health and I
thought this was all over but obviously
there he was my hulking Chad and shining
armor here to rescue and revive me god
bless this man Kattegat threatened us
for even attempting to get close to his
Giga Chad but I had no patience for
pandering to a make-a-wish recipient so
Giga Chad was now Giga dead
Athena's was next and here's where I
insert some typical sense a joke on Ava
and her writing but nope not today it is
in my duty to not speak of that
deplorable and disgusting evil but I
will speak of the fact that Gerald here
still didn't die when entering the level
they really need to fix that because I
enjoy him dead a thiness is a boner
realistic paradise that is idyllic for
anyone that enjoys masochism I don't
think I've ever raged so hard at a video
game in a while the enemies here were
vicious and unrelenting literally just a
scent of my vault hunter and the pussy
vultures came to devour my ass iron bear
did its work here and there but the
amount of times I died was still
migraine inducing before hitting Athena
I was actually at 180 deaths just twenty
minutes into this place and I shot up a
whopping 63 this cock and ball torture
was a major yikes and you want to know
what made it worse the fact that my ax
man no good for nothing vile being
watched me as my soul was incessantly
defiled and pillaged fortunately if you
have an IQ over
250 and made it past the beginning part
of this level then you should have
contracted ADHD in a severe case of rock
brain hopefully all of your troubles
have brought you to Tron and you are
ready for this parade the problem with
Tron was his thick and girthy shield
that shit is so goddamn phat it puts the
doom Slayers ass to shame if you pair
that fatty shield with the fact that you
probably have an arsenal fit for taking
on a legion of red bars then you are
going to have a bad time
death after death I was being oppressed
but if Tron wanted to bed me he was
going to have to make my nipples lactate
just a little harder another couple of
tries in the vault hunter Russian death
camp and I was able to topple the giant
that was Tron
as a reward for such a feat I watched
these dudes revive me and God bless
gearbox for not patching this out it's
beautiful it's so damn it was time for
the sky well arguably the best place in
the entirety of the borderlands games
the sky wall was typical business I went
there amped up enough energy to rival
that of a 90s Capri Sun commercial and
still that wasn't enough the entire area
led to me actually dying 108 times there
was no point in praying because words
will not dare adhere to any deity the
only way to get through this torture was
to be a machine a greasy oily machine
hitting this bad boy again and again
categorize our man Eve signature sex toy
the complete collection was here to
attempt to ruin our day but fret not cuz
I am here to be your guide my tips for
getting past him
I don't can have any I honestly have no
tips for getting past any of this but
what I will tell you now is that he puts
my shit up cadigal ball demolished me
but after licking my fingers puffing out
my chest and clenching my butt cheeks I
charged at him with lethal force and
actually survived the encounter a dash
of luck was thrown into there but god
damned the outcome came as a surprise
the only way to make it out is to run
around and cross your fingers in hope
that when you get down there's a trash
mob nearby that will give his life for
the crusade the toy was dead and I was
relieved I was happy I was contempt
everything was fine until Lilith
informed me that the Crimson Raiders had
no patience for categorize any ologies
and since his cheeks were in spanking
discs
I had to go take them out it was time to
rate Atlas HQ and stop this mallow on
threat once and for all these Matawan
soldiers were nothing but fanboys for
categor
such that t even if it was covered in
cow feces so this was going to be an
easy assault they were going to be easy
targets this was where the difficulty
decided to ramp up tremendously with my
one health there was nothing I could do
in the defense of category
boss fight is normally easy every run
but the fact that I am constantly
getting gangbanged by him and his 3d
printed clones made this all the harder
this man and his erotic fantasy went to
town on my very livelihood but after 22
tries a bit of testosterone and my iron
bear I had finally done it poly shamba
Kattegat his inevitable death and then I
made sure to read my comments and not
call Ries by cat again because I'd
really like to keep my YouTube channel
and not get cancelled assaulting the
incest Empire outpost and hitting the
first of all beast was next on the list
there really wasn't much to say about
this area except that it gave me another
round of nice poopoo P P gameplay but
the good news is Mya census finally came
back to her and she was actually
reviving me for once I went into the
rampage er fight worried I was positive
that I was going to get completely
destroyed
but surprisingly it actually wasn't that
bad why are we still here
just to suffer
oh I can feel my leg
even my fingers
even with the leniency of the spirits I
did die a few times but hey I came here
for that vault B SAS and stayed for the
pain after a few attempts I killed him
and then fucked off off to a place that
would bring me my divine intervention a
place where the waifu's congregate and
you lose all sense of time a place that
can cease any and all violence that
place is Eden 6 baby let's go the run
was wrapping up and as my morale
continued to grow so did my hard-on for
justice
the Wainwright's and the children of
cringe hostility had to be stopped and I
was here with my one health and my
arsenal of toilet roll weapons to stop
it I'll give you guys a quick rundown on
eat in 6 to save you all from the
aesthetically unpleasing color palette
and gameplay hammer me daddy needed
saving and guess what that was all up to
us the tussle with the prison warden was
a pain also literally just dropping into
this arena would result in an instant
death I was lucky enough to have a
corrosive weapon to eat through his
armor but god damn that's a thick ass
boy this was miserable and my patience
was dwindling by the minute my only
option was to deal as much damage as
possible at first and then after
reviving off of a poor soul nearby
pumping as much of my iron bare ass as
possible into this boss with the warden
dead and Wainwright's lover saved I was
hyped and one of the hardest bosses of
this run had now been taken care of
after hitting the Wainright Playboy
Mansion for an old record I was given
orders to rescue a teddy bear and bring
him back to safety my worries were
abundant for this part because at this
point anything used against me would
straight up me my will and determination
were the only two things lavishly
funding this crusade at this point by
the grace of God's beautiful little
asshole I was blessed blessed with a
break from all this pain this area was
relatively easy and when Genevieve was
confronted just hitting her with a
couple of my corrosive shots brought her
a generous healthy portion of death with
Genevieve dead and her breach into my
anime and pornography hard drives dealt
with it was time to die some more
getting all of the homies keycards and
then take on frosty the snow bitch many
deaths were had leading up to this point
even so that I was seeing the game in a
permanent black-and-white from all the
time that was spent in fight for your
life along in my travels though I found
a pistol this bad boy
assisted me in doing God's work this
thing straight up slapped and turned me
into even more of a monster than I was
before
after the hordes were all done and dealt
with it was time to busted down busted
down for Jesus for the boys for this W
just on my second try I was able to
topple the intimidating and daunting
irelia this weapon had straight-up
dissected her butt cheeks and it was
actually disgusting she was forced to
subsist on a diet of straight-up pain
and agony and with her dead it was time
to take out our next apparent threat the
grave ward this boss on the other hand
wasn't as much of a nice as irelia was
sure this weapon that held the power of
the small son was in my possession that
didn't matter grave Ward wasn't the
problem it was actually the enemies that
spawn during the fight they were
disgusting and remember all of them
being badass variants of certain mobs
and I just couldn't take it just like
peeing in the wind it was all coming
back to me now all the enemies that I
have demolished in my path of carnage
this was now my time to pay for what I
had done the only way to actually make
it through this torture was to set
things up properly focusing them as they
spawned in and lowering their health was
a trick doing so would allow me to get a
quick and easy revive whenever I would
go down to some random bullshit 45
minutes later I killed the grave Ward
and was ready to finally end this
torture to finish this crusade Tanis was
captured by a surprise phase lock RKO
out of nowhere and me being the Manley
testosterone-fueled barrel mail that I
was I needed to save her I arrived at
the Carnivora festival lost and looking
for purpose I was on the hunt and I
needed to be these bandits were
susceptible to my fiery weapon of mass
destruction they were dropping like
flies and not a single thing could be
done about it of course I was too but we
won't talk about that I dyed my way
through the actual Carnivora and after
disabling it and taking that sucker down
I went aboard for yet some more
enjoyable dying I'll be honest I was
just trying to run to the agonizer x'
boss arena but I was constantly getting
stopped in my tracks it was like having
blue balls but inside of a video game
the agonizer 9000 fight was actually a
breeze my purple corrosion torque
shotgun was dropping some mad beeps and
that paired alongside the best weapon in
the entire game I was able to take him
out on my
I can try things were going great and I
was a happy man until the Crimson
Raiders decided to take down the incest
Empire I was overloaded with death every
time I showed my face and the delinquent
bandits were enjoying the field day they
were having all over my body
I was hoping all of this pain would
reinstate my power and I would come back
stronger than I ever was but death and I
we go together like ass cheeks on a hot
summer day this next part will prove
that statement even further the man that
I assumed to be nothing but a dumpster
baby the genetic dead end that finally
matched my masculinity this fight has
phases getting him to a certain health
will postpone me from being able to
damage him so one iron bear summoning
just wasn't enough and I would die
before the second one could even make it
halfway
I went from 717 deaths during this part
to 809 and I actually did something for
the first time and sends a history I
feel disgusted to be showing you this
I broke a portion of my keyboard and
result of a depressive baby rage spout
what makes it all the better is all I
had to do was take a break for a couple
of hours and come back to beat him in my
second try let this serve as a reminder
that we shouldn't let a game overcome us
gentlemen even if the strap-on is fully
fastened and they are pounding away at
your very manlihood stand strong and do
not falter for soon you will prevail
this magma Leviathan was taken down by
my very hand and my trousers weren't
even off yet it was time for necro to
fail
having this place in my planetary
locator was special you see here on this
wonderful tame and vibrant planet
ideologies don't matter and
opportunities such as dying are massive
with truant being defeated and merely
just two tries this run was starting to
wrap up and it felt great I wanted out
of this as soon as I possibly could and
with the finish line in sight I had a
smile on my face all the way to tyene my
sheen from Jimmy Neutron brain actually
thought that this was almost over I
actually thought that I was nearly done
it turns out terrine wasn't the tentacle
waifu and fetish Queen we sought her out
to be tyreme destroyed me every attempt
even with having a longer fight for your
life duration dying in her arena was
inevitable with only one hell her
cuisine consisted of my tears and that
is exactly what she got every attempt
ended up one of two ways either I would
the intellect of a
would get devoured by some sort of
bullshit attack or mob or I would get
her health Barlow but because I was down
to more than three times I would
instantly die and fight for your life no
amount of prey or sacrificial babies
could save me from this one voice I went
into this boss fight with 863 deaths and
finally broke after 978
I caved in and broke one of my rules I
know that this is sacrilege in the
Testament of the diaper booty chairman
but I had to although this was a rule I
made I still felt disgusted i injected
the skillpoints into my tree and it was
stupefying I never had a hit feel so
goddamn good it took me another 13 tries
but I finally did it
proving skillpoints really do make a
difference and digging me deeper into my
pit of guilt it possibly could have been
easier if I used another vault hunter
maybe if I use better weapons maybe if I
was a better player but I failed even
though I technically beat the game with
only one health and no shields I'm going
to have to say that I didn't this is the
third L and the history of sends the
answers bizarre questions and I am going
to have to say I am disappointed in
myself and my keyboard actually lost its
life for this L I wouldn't wish this
challenge on to anyone not even my worst
enemies I will say this has been the
most annoying challenge on this channel
and I swear after editing this I will
never watch it again thank you for those
that made it to the end and if you did
please comment hash tag trouser serpent
because penis jokes are cool and funny
and all heart your comment if you enjoy
what I do here go ahead and give that
like button a soothing shot of heroin
and if you like these Crusades maybe you
will kindly hit that Bell notification
for a kiss from yours truly the next
video will be a doom eternal video so
prepare your panties for that one see
you cuties next week
you
