[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Whatís up guys? Ah, Iím sorry! Did I interrupt,
just give me 5 minutes of your time and youíll
get back to watching your inter-racial gay
Japanese midget zombie p0%n, you are the one
who watches it, not me! Alright, I used to
think Planking was the stupidest thing ever
until I saw this video.
[Planking Fail - Clip]
(across the kitchen sink and the stove using
the stoveís handle opening the stoves door
plummeting to the floor with the stove)
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Ya, thatís what you get! Thatís what you
get for planking! That s(beep)t is as stupid
as hell, anyone who is cool, should go plank
in the middle of the f(beep)n freeway. (Go
Plank on the 405). Anyway, I get that this
girl was trying to be funny and it worked
cause I laughed my @ss off at her failure.
Girl you can be funny all you want (Balls
were the last think to her her chin that hard!)
all you want as long as you donít leave the
kitchen. Let the dirty dishes laugh at your
jokes. This video got, who knows how many
views, (broken) Youtubeís view counter has
been messed up all week. But I do know this
video has been passed around a lot. Girl we
know youíre just so excited because you just
got this pink vibrator over here, but thatís
no reason to (Notice the P&n^s Contour) to
f(beep) up a perfectly perfect kitchen. (To
hide the stank from her vibrator) Itís not
a vibrator itís a can of Febreze, or something!
Do you know why Planking sucks, planking sucks
cause you just lie there (D.F.S) (A.K.A) and
you donít do s(beep)t. Youíre like every
girl I (dead fish syndrome) f(beep)in hooked
up with.
[Cool Transition]
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Again, Youtubeís view counter is broken (Hey
Youtube fix your F(beep)ing Counter!) This
next video got passed around a lot, it got
passed around like, actually Iím out of analogizes
for getting passed around. It got passed around
like a WHORE ñ you happy! So thereís this
car driving around and they have a camera
on their dashboard. Cause you know putting
a camera in your dash-board (I usually hide
them in the womenís restroom) is what normal
people do. Then of course, something unfortunate
happens.
[Deer Hit By Two Cars - Clip]
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Now if you werenít fully disturbed or traumatized
by that, Iím gonna go ahead and show it to
you again in slow motion. See there, the Deer
getís hit by car number one, and again by
car number two. Now of course this video is
both incredible and unfortunate (A Doe) And
Iím gonna take a wild guess, just a shot
(A Deer) in the dark here, I donít wanna
really know, but Iím gonna guess (a dead
f(beep)ing deer) and say that the Deer is
dead. I mean, he did get hit by two cars,
wtf do you want me to tell you. Oh, heís
heís fine. Just resting his eyes. No, heís
dead. (Alive??) Iím not a doctor but that
does not look (or f(beep)ing dead?) good for
Bambi there. f(beep)ing dead! Now, donít
get mad at me, I didnít kill the Deer, I
didnít (I was busy shooting a sn&ff film)
film the f(beep)ing video! I mean, I donít
film interracial gay, Japanese midget zombie
p0%n. Do you get mad at me when you watch
that!
Itís black
Itís white
Itís gay
Itís Japanese
Itís small
Itís dead
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Alright guys, last video itís a freak out
video and I know we havenít seen one of these
in a while. Ya, itís this dude here.
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Ah, yes, Iím covering his eyes up because
he is being very provocative cause I donít
want any one to take the s(beep)t he says
seriously.
[Jared Milton ñ Leave Justin Bieber Alone
- Flips Out Over Justin Bieber - Clip]
This message is for Justin Bieber haters,
you f(beep)in d(beep)k heads.
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Alright, you get that, heís upset because
of all the hate people are giving Justin Bieber.
[Jared Milton ñ Leave Justin Bieber Alone
- Flips Out Over Justin Bieber - Clip]
If you have a problem with me or you have
a problem with Justin so take it out with
my face cause I can do things to you people,
I got connections, I can have you arrested.
I can hack you.
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Well, he is right about one thing, Justin
Bieber does get too much hate. (never had
the beiber fever) I donít really get into
his music but whatever, heís just a dude
singing songs. I ñ honestly I jealous as
s(beep)t of Justin Bieber. I mean, would I
personally accept millions of dollars to sing
popular songs and f(beep)k Selina Gomez? Wait!
Is she eight-teen? (YES) yes, she is. Yes!
(her 19th Birthday is Friday!) yes, I would
do it. Now (19 = Super Legal) that being said
this dude in the video, heís being a little
melodramatic.
[Jared Milton ñ Official Warning To Justin
Bieber Haters - Flips Out Over Justin Bieber
- Clip]
Cause you will spend a jail sentence. I had
f(beep)in enough of you. f(beep) you haters,
thinking you know, you can push us around,
when you can. You canít pus us around! You
canít tell us what to do! Cause you canít
control us anymore! OK! So youíre all getting
in trouble. Youíre all getting hacked!
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Dude, come on! Itís the internet! The internet
is a place where anyone with a tiny (or inverted
p%n^s) p%n^s can go and hate on on things,
its just the way it works. Ya, of course I
make that joke and I hated on planking cause
I walked right in on that one. Now this guys
has done more than one video saying heís
gonna do this or that on anyone who hates
on Justin Bieber which is why I think the
video is fake and I think the whole thing
is just an act. I know I say that a lot but
serious. My guess, heís trying to get internet
popularity or something, trust me! dude, I
got internet popularity, itís not all that
great. Iím not f(beep)in chick like Selena
Gomez. LYBIO.net Look, look, you wanna see
a picture of the girl Iím dating right there.
[photo of girl/guy with big teeth) And she's
not even that into me, she's like, you need
to me more like Justin Bieber. And I'm 90%
sure the b(beep)s got a d^7k, now if the guy
in the video isn't faking which he is, he's
running adds against it, its a b(beep)in act.
But if he isn't faking, dude, you need to
calm the hell down! I mean, Justin Bieber
doesn't (J-beebs don't give a f(beep)~) give
a f(beep) so why should you? So leave the
dude alone! You know what? If you wanna hate
on on someone go ahead (walk the plank?) hate
on people who engage in planking they f(beep)in
deserve it! You guys, about an hour ago I
wrote that joke about inter-racial, gay, Japanese,
midget, zombie, p0%n. And I started thinking
to myself, is - is that actually a thing,
so I Google it and this is the picture that
came up. (homosexuals are gay) You could not
have said it better. Ah, myself. That is the
cold truth. Which is a nice segg way into
the comment question of the day which comes
from a chick named bam (gabbysantomauro) and
she said:
[gabbysantomauro]
If you could perform any spell on Ray which
one would it be?
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Oh, this should be good. So if you could perform
any spell on me what would it be?
[Ray William Johnson]
Leave your interesting and creative responses
in the comment section below, or on Facebook
or Twitter or Google plus or any other (@dult
friend finder?) f(beep)in social networking
website thatís out there.
[Cool Transition]
[Ray William Johnson]
But thanks for watching todayís episode of
Equals Three, Iím Ray William Johnson, and
I approve this message. So tell me guys, why
does everyone hate on Gingers?
[Outer]
(The outer song Ray William Johnson ñ Stalkiní
Your Mom.)
