

Dixie Airlines

## By M. L. Shettle, Jr.

### The names have been changed to protect the guilty!

ISBN 0-9643388-5-8

One

It's 11 p.m. Saturday, July 14, 1961, the main gate Pensacola Naval Air Station, Florida. The air is so humid you could cut it with a knife. The quiet of the night was broken by the cacophony of the tree frogs. Conrad Christian Shuler, more commonly known as Bud Shuler is reporting for Class 27 - 1961 U. S. Navy Preflight School. After parking his car, he is taken to the Indoctrination Building where he signs in and is shown to the bunk room. By now it is close to midnight and everyone else is asleep. There is so much snoring going on, the room sounds like a sawmill. The enlisted man on watch tells Bud to find an empty bunk.

Bud graduated in June from the University of Tennessee with a B.S. in Business Administration and a major in statistics. For the first two years of college, he struggled as an engineering major. Bud figured he could probably make it through engineering but it would take him about six years – something he could ill afford. At the recommendation of a fraternity brother, he switched to statistics. Statistics was a new major and had a large number of elective courses. As a result, no credits were lost in the switch. Some people graduate from college and learn nothing. Bud on the other hand learned one thing for sure - he did not want to be a statistician. All Bud ever wanted to be was a pilot and college was merely a means to that end.

The next morning around 6 a.m. the class is roused up by a cadet officer and taken to breakfast. The Cadet Mess is very good in Bud's opinion. Later that morning they are marched to the base chapel for Sunday service. On the way, the formation is hit by a rather intense rain shower and everyone gets soaked to the skin. The formation arrives at the chapel and takes seats. The chapel is well air-conditioned and now everyone gets chilled to the bone. The cadet officer is just doing what he was told to do, but finally sanity prevails. The Chaplain, a naval officer, takes one look at the group's poor state and orders the cadet officer to take the men back to the barracks.

Back at the barracks dry clothes are the order and the men get acquainted with their fellow classmates. The deadline for reporting was supposed to be last night at midnight. Apparently that was not written in concrete as several latecomers straggled in during the day. Class 27 is a class of Aviation Officer Candidates (AOC). Numbering 55 strong, the members are college graduates and at the end of the 16 week Preflight course will become commissioned as officers. They can be married. The list of colleges the guys of Class 27 graduated from is rather impressive and includes Harvard, Dartmouth, and Colgate. Of the total of 4,000 plus pilots a year the Navy trained at this time, about one third come from the AOC program. The Navy had two other sources for aviation officers in 1961. One of these is the Naval Aviation Cadet Program which requires a minimum of two years of college and produces about 900 Naval and 300 Marine pilots. Cadets cannot be married and are not commissioned until the completion of flight training. The third source is commissioned officers from NROTC, the Naval Academy, and the fleet. That group numbers about 17% of the Navy pilots produced. The Navy also trains Marine Corps pilots, Coast Guard pilots, and foreign students. About 25% of those who start training are washed out or DOR (Dropped on Request). The Navy aviation training program also includes the training of non-pilot Naval Flight Officers (NFO) who serve as navigators and airborne radar intercept officers such as the back-seaters of McDonnell F-4 Phantoms. Some students are recruited directly as NFOs while other are washed out pilot trainees.

Sunday afternoon the check-in process continues. The students turn in their civilian clothes for green overalls, commonly known as _Poopy Suits_ and work boots known as _Boondockers._ The base is celebrating the 50th Anniversary of Naval Aviation that week – Class 27 is not. While marching about the base, Bud hears and steals glimpses of the Blue Angels as they roar overhead. The lion's share of indoctrination involves the filling out of paperwork and forms.

Yeoman Ezell must have said 100 times while passing out the paperwork: "Take one and pass them."

He quickly becomes known as _Take One and Pass Them Ezell._ So many forms had to be filled out, everyone gets the impression that the Navy fuels its ships and aircraft with paper. The room used for this exercise faces the Gulf of Mexico. While filling out the paperwork Monday morning, the men see the Training Command's aircraft carrier the _USS Antietam_ moving down the channel – is this cool or what!

When not filling out paperwork, the class is drawing uniforms, receiving medical exams, and various miscellaneous activities – one of which is a trip to the barber. Everyone gets the traditional military buzz cut. Its initial purpose in earlier days was to eliminate head lice of the recruits. The military discovered that no hair also minimized the individuality of the recruits. Without hair, most people look the same and create the desired uniformity. The barbers, who were Navy civilian employees, were a lot rougher than they needed to be. This caused most recruits to fanaticize about running in to the barber in some bar and kicking his ass!

After a week of Indoc, the class is assigned to Battalion Three – commonly known as Batt Three. Of the four battalions, Batt Three has the best location across the street from the Academic Building and the Base Exchange. Batt Three is under the command of a Navy Lt. Class 27 is supervised by drill instructor Gunnery Sergeant Billingsley USMC. At Batt Three, four men are assigned to a room and given an M-1 Garand rifle.

During the second week, the class began the Preflight syllabus – military training, physical training, and academics. The academic syllabus includes subjects that one might expect for pilots and officers: aerodynamics, meteorology, flight regulations, naval history, leadership, navigation, and others. The syllabus also included some courses that one might not normally expect such as mathematics, physics, and speed reading. Physical training includes calisthenics, running, trampoline, the obstacle course and swimming. Military training consists mostly of close order marching drill with rifles on the _Grinder_ , which is a big piece of asphalt. Many students would become very familiar with the _Grinder_. Various infractions during Preflight would usually result in _Five and One_ \- five demerits and one hour of solo marching on the Grinder with a rifle. More serious infractions resulted in _Ten and Two_. There was a limit as to how many demerits a student could accumulate before being kicked out of Preflight. Bud's class did not lose anyone because of excess demerits.

The first two weeks of Preflight seems like being on another planet as the student's time is totally regulated. At the end of the second week, students are allowed some privileges. Bud, who is a baseball fan, finally gets to read a newspaper and get caught up with the standings. Class 27 is also now allowed to go to the Aviation Cadet Recreation and Athletic Club – ACRAC for short and pronounce _Ack-rack_. The ACRAC is open Friday night through Sunday afternoon. It has televisions, a reading room, ping-pong tables, a dance floor and bar. On Friday and Saturday nights, local girls come to the dances. Only beer is allowed and it is probably 3.2 %.

On Monday, the grind continues. At the end of the third week, students are allowed to go off the base. A few of the guys are married with wives in town. They were very happy to see the end of the third week. One guy comes back Sunday night bragging about how many times he had sex with his relatively new wife. On Monday, he falls out of a two mile run. Maybe there is something to the Samson's hair myth!

One activity that considerable time was spent on was swimming. That makes sense – Navy, water, swimming. The swimming syllabus was quite extensive: endurance swimming of one-half a mile and various stroke swimming in addition to other exercises. One of the great hazards of Naval aviation is bailing out over water. Many a pilot has been drowned by being dragged over the water by his parachute. One exercise is being dragged the length of the pool by a winch attach to a parachute harness. The idea is to learn how to unlatch the harness while being dragged. Students also have to jump off a 20 ft. high tower. The Dilbert Dunker is a mockup of a cockpit mounted on a track that runs into the pool, flips onto its back and sinks. The student is given a simulated parachute. The idea is to ride the Dunker until it sinks, release your seatbelt, pull yourself clear of the cockpit and surface without kicking off the cockpit. A Navy diver stands by with an air hose in case somebody gets stuck. To Bud's dismay, he inadvertently kicked off and had to do it again. Class 27 has a few students that take to water like cats. One guy was only comfortable in the water with half of his body out of it. Before joining the Navy, Bud could swim but tired quickly. To Bud's amazement, everyone of Class 27, including himself, eventually gets through the swimming syllabus.

During Preflight a song surfaces. Sung to the tune of _Bye Bye Blackbird_ , it goes like this:

Pack up all my cares and woes,

Here I go singing low,

Bye, bye Preflight.

Where somebody waits for me,

Sugar sweet so is she,

Bye, bye Preflight.

No one here loves and understands me,

Look at all the bullshit they all hand me,

Wings of gold, bars of brass,

You can shove them up your ass,

Preflight bye bye.

One of Bud's classmates and buddies summed up the situation in Preflight: "No matter how hard you try, you can't turn chicken shit into chicken salad!"

One day, Class 27 is taken to a medical building and a pint of blood is taken out of everyone by the Red Cross. They did not ask. They just did it. Bud supposes that if someone protested it would not have been done, but no one does. After giving the blood, it is on with the normal activities. Later that day during rope climbing at the gym, Bud all of a sudden gets weak and nearly falls from the top of the rope. Class 27 is also given the classic anti-homosexual lecture of the day in the ground school auditorium by a senior medical officer. The doctor makes the lecture as humorous as possible and gathers several laughs from his captive audience.

The lecture ends with this final statement: "The Navy does not care what part of the plumbing you supply. If you get caught you are out!"

Ground school was not without its lighter moments as well. During the Naval history course, the instructor was lecturing on the role and effectiveness of the Japanese Kamikaze during WW II.

He then played a tape of a supposed translation of a speech given to a graduating class of Japanese pilots by a Japanese admiral: "Sons of Nippon, congratulations on becoming Imperial Navy pilots. Your graduation is just in time for the new plan for repelling the Yankee invaders. You are going to take your planes and crash them into the enemy fleet. You will sacrifice your lives for Nippon and the Emperor. Are there any questions?

(Another voice) "No questions admiral – one comment. Are you out of your fucking mind?"

During Preflight, one of the biggest topics among the prospective pilots is what type of aircraft they want to fly. The majority, the tigers, want to fly jets. Bud looked at it from a different perspective. Impulsiveness is one characteristic of the young – making decisions without thoroughly considering all of the consequences. Bud must have thought the aircraft carrier pulled out at 8 a.m., was back in port at 5 p.m. and you had the weekends off because it came as a great shock to him that aircraft carriers went on six months cruises in the Atlantic and nine month cruises in the Pacific. Bud figures he will opt for a land based multi-engine patrol aircraft. At least you were on the ground every night with beer and the ladies. Bud's real ambition was to be an airline pilot. Several years earlier, he had seen a television show that featured a TWA captain that made $20,000 per year (about $150,000 in 2011 dollars). He finds it hard to believe that they actually pay you that much to fly airplanes, but that would be the job for him. Being an experienced Navy multi-engine pilot would have to make you better qualified for an airline job as well.

Class 27 has its first casualty. One of the Preflight ground school subjects is mathematics. It is a much abbreviated course and anyone with a decent high school math background could pass. Any kind of college math made the course a breeze. Class 27's one and only black student cannot get through the math course and DORs (Dropped on Request). Incredibly, the student has a degree in engineering from Tennessee A and I University! Bud guesses they pass you up there for attending class.

Following the day's activity, students have an hour or so free time before dinner. Bud liked to walk through the Base Exchange and look at normal people (women) for a change. One day at the Exchange, he wanders to the small bowling alley in the basement. The bowling alley also has a snack bar that sells beer. Bud looks around and does not see anyone of any importance – everyone there appears to be either enlisted or dependents. After getting up his nerve, he buys a beer and watches the bowlers. This is one of the cases that Bud knew the answer to. If Bud asked permission to have a beer at the bowling alley, it surely would have been denied. For the rest of Preflight, Bud enjoyed a beer just about every afternoon. He also knew better to keep it to himself and never told anyone else about it.

Pensacola Naval Air Station is one of the world's most beautiful military bases. Naval aviation first came to  Pensacola in 1914. Commonly known as _Mainside_ the base is quite historic and contains several old forts and a National Cemetery. Its grounds are covered with many stately oak trees festooned with Spanish moss. Many of the older buildings are of red brick colonial style. Pensacola itself is a rather pleasant town with some of the world's most beautiful beaches nearby on Pensacola Beach. The beach is a popular place for the Navy men and has several popular watering holes.

Class 27 is coming down the home stretch. They have been at it for 14 weeks that seemed like 14 months. The 15th week was scheduled for survival school at the Eglin AFB reservation – one of the West's largest military bases. Since the class is scheduled to depart before Monday morning breakfast, the students are allowed to bring food into the barracks Sunday night. One of Bud's roommates bought a can of Span, a loaf of bread, and a jar of mustard which he made into sandwiches. After getting his fill, he threw a half of a sandwich away.

Armed only with a pilot's survival knife, the students are dropped off at Eglin's Field #6 and trek out to a camp site in the woods with no food for several days. Parachutes are fashioned into tents for shelter. Students sleep on the ground. Bud does not sleep well as he fears a Rattlesnake or Coral snake will join him under his blanket during the night. Bud became fond of eating roasted acorns – not great but better than nothing.

Bud's roommate said: "All I could think about while starving in the woods was that damn half of a sandwich I threw away. I'm never going to do that again!"

After a few days without food, the students are given C-rations. The last day of this ordeal is an exercise in _Escape and Evasion_. The students have to make their way back to Field #6 without being captured. This is a big joke since the instructors know every route. Finally they all make it back to civilization and are given a carton of cold milk. Fortunately, it did not rain during the week. Rain would have really made it miserable.

The last week of Preflight is spent as cadet officers supervising the lower classes. Finally, the big day, November 3, 1961, arrived. Most of Class 27 receives their bars of brass. A few members of the class get held over for sundry deficiencies. Traditionally, Sgt. Billingsley is there to give the students their first salute and receive a silver dollar in exchange. To the class's dismay, they are informed that Saufley, the primary flight training base, has a two-week backlog and they will have to remain at Mainside for two more weeks. The good news is that this two-week delay is under entirely different circumstances. First, nobody tells you what to do every minute of the day. The new officers are all given private rooms at the BOQ and do pretty much what they want to with the exception of a few classes and lectures. Bud, who has been told he has an impacted wisdom tooth, uses this two week delay to get the problem taken care of. A Navy dentist, Captain Heinzelmann, takes out Bud's tooth and part of his jaw in the process. Bud spends the rest of the day in his bunk spitting up blood. He can't chew for a week and the side of his face swelled up.

Two

The pilot students of Class 27 are finally sent to Saufley. Class 27 no longer functions as a unit. The NFO members of the class have gone their way and the pilot members will proceed through the rest of training as individuals. Saufley is an auxiliary field of NAS Pensacola, located a few miles northwest of town. It is home to VT-1, the Navy's primary training squadron and VT-5 the propeller training pipeline carrier qualification squadron. VT-1 is subdivided into four units called flights. Initially, training involves a ground school course mainly about the particulars of the primary training aircraft, the Beech T-34 Mentor, a military trainer version of the Beech Bonanza. Classes are also held for _Code and Blinker_ – Morse code from a telegraph and visually from a blinker light. Bud found the blinker light very difficult, but he somehow made it through the course. Assignment to a flight and an instructor comes next. While going through orientation at the flight, a helicopter lands on the ramp just outside the hangar. Two pilots climb out of the chopper with bunched up parachutes in their arms. There has been a midair collision. These two managed to bailout – the other two pilots went down with their aircraft. This was a very sobering experience for Bud and the other fledgling aviators.

Bud draws Lt. Poppa for an instructor. Poppa is a confident aviator and a good instructor. Some other students are not as lucky and draw _Screamers._ These are instructors who do not like or are scared of their jobs and take it out on the students. Fortunately, the bad instructors are few and far between. Bud and Lt. Poppa take their first flight with Bud in the front seat and Poppa in the back. Bud finds the first flight a little bewildering and as a result is all over the sky. Apparently that is normal for the first flight since Poppa does not have too much to say. Bud makes normal progress and makes it to the twelfth flight. The twelfth flight is the safe-for-solo flight. This check ride is conducted by a different instructor. After the air-work portion of the check, landings are made at Summerdale, an outlying field in Alabama. After a few touch-and–go landings, the instructor tells Bud to make a full stop and taxi off the runway. The instructor then gets out of the airplane and tells Bud to do three touch-and-goes while he observes from the ground. Bud makes his first takeoff solo – he even looks into the backseat to make sure no one is there. After a required number of circuits in the landing pattern, Bud makes a full-stop, the instructor gets back in, and they head back to Saufley. Bud has passed his first check ride! It is traditional at this time in the Navy for your buddies to cut your tie in half after your first solo. When Bud gets back to the BOQ his buddies perform the ceremony and then they head out to the Officers Club to celebrate with a beer. Everyone at Saufley gets two weeks leave over the Christmas holidays. Bud heads home to Baltimore with a stop off in Tennessee to see his college girlfriend Fanny Simmons, a senior at UT.

Back at Saufley after New Year's Day, Bud becomes acquainted with other pilot students that were graduates of the Naval Academy – a.k.a. _Canoe U_. or _Boat School_. Being from Baltimore, Bud is fairly familiar with the Naval Academy at Annapolis only 25 miles distant and he held Academy men in the highest regard. That view changed at Saufley in the form of a certain Ensign Wade Walker. After graduating from the Academy, Walker became a loose cannon and behaved in a totally irresponsible manner. He was never where he was supposed to be and did pretty much as he pleased. He became a big joke among the other students and was rarely present during morning role call at the flight. Walker had some duty or the other but chose instead to attend the Florida Twist Championship in Tallahassee with his girlfriend, a cocktail waitress from Pensacola's Peppermint Lounge. Somehow he made it to solo. As he taxied out, the rest of his flight waved goodbye with white handkerchiefs – they figured he would not come back. Well, he made it back to Saufley but made a gear-up landing attempt – one of the top no-nos of flying. Fortunately, an instructor located at the end of the runway with wheel watch duty gave him a wave off avoiding a gear-up landing. If the student does not wave off by instruction on the radio, a flare is shot in front of his aircraft. Students who make a gear-up pass are made to stand in front of the assembled flight and are severely berated – a most humiliating experience. After giving him several letters of reprimand, the Navy finally had enough of Walker – even for one of their fair-haired boys. He was dragged up in front of the Student Pilot Disposition Board which determined the fate of students who were having problems. More commonly known as the _Speedy Board_ , the Board consisted of experienced senior flight instructors. The Board interviewed the student and considered the advice of the student's instructors in whether to washout the student or give him another chance. The Board officers allegedly sat at a long table covered by a green felt tablecloth. The Board asked Walker if he wanted to go to D. E.s – Destroyer Escorts. Walker said no. The Board chairman said: "Well that is where you are going. Have a great career!"

Supposedly no smoking was permitted during training flights, although some instructors did smoke – rank has its privileges. Doug Watson, one of Bud's Prefight classmates who was anal retentive and not too smart, wrote up his instructor for smoking – bad idea. To no one's surprise, Doug got washed out a short time later.

One of the peculiarities of the T-34 was its fuel feed system. A device fed fuel from each wing tank in an equal amount to maintain aircraft balance. When flying with an instructor, the student was required to check the fuel quantity every 15 minutes to insure the device was working properly and report that fact to the instructor. One Saturday afternoon, Bud had a solo flight and his first aviation encounter with Murphy's Law: _Anything that can possibly go wrong will eventually go wrong_. He decided he was going to take a nice relaxing flight and not bother to check the balance in the fuel tanks. After about an hour, Bud decided to check the tanks. As luck would have it, this was the one time the balance system was not working – one tank was still full and one had less than one quarter remaining. Bud makes an immediate beeline back to Saufley. The operating area for Saufley is over lower Alabama and to get back to Saufley requires flying over Perdido Bay. Approaching the bay, Bud chickens-out and calls Saufley on the radio to inform them he is going to divert to Faircloth Field, a grass outlying field on the western side of the bay. After about an hour, an instructor and a mechanic arrive in another T-34. The instructor sticks an arm in the fuel tank and concludes that there is enough fuel to make it back to Saufley, so he takes Bud's T-34 back to the field. Bud then flies back to Saufley in the other T-34 with the mechanic – Bud's first passenger! When you do something you are not supposed to be doing, something bad usually happens. If Bud had been checking for fuel imbalance like he was supposed to be doing, the situation would never have gotten that far. Bud got away with it this time and he never heard anything more concerning this incident.

Bud and one of his friends also got lucky. This student and Bud were going on solo flights at the same time and decided to buzz the mothballed reserve fleet anchored in Mobile Bay – it sounded like a good idea at the time! An instructor saw them and gave chase to get the aircraft numbers. Bud and his friend split up and headed in different directions. The instructor followed Bud's friend who went to takeoff power and ran away from the instructor. Not being a very powerful aircraft, a T-34 with one person on board is a lot faster than a T-34 with two. The student made it to a practice field and entered the landing pattern. When the instructor arrived he could not determine which aircraft was the culprit.

While at Saufley, Bud and the other primary students get to observe the big, noisy, and powerful T-28s of VT-5, the propeller carrier qualification squadron. When a flight of T-28s depart Saufley, all the T-34s give way in shock and awe. During one foul weather day when all training flights were grounded, Bud and a couple of his buddies walk over to the T-28 ramp to get a closer look. Bud climbs up on the wing and wonders how anyone can possibly fly this monster. You would probably get killed just falling off of the wing!

Primary training lasts about ten weeks and consists of 26 flights. At the end of the syllabus, comes selection for jet or prop training. Students put down their preference and are selected for the respective pipelines based on their grades and the needs of the Navy. Bud requests and is assigned to the propeller pipeline - next stop, Whiting Field. The jet training students were sent to Meridian, Mississippi.

Three

Whiting Field is located at Milton, Florida, about 25 miles northeast of Mainside. Whiting is composed of a north and south field with the cantonment area in between. Bud is welcomed by an air show when he arrives. As Bud is getting directions at the main gate, five T-28s taking off in close succession roar overhead at a very low altitude – it is a magnificent and exciting sight. Bud will be here for six months taking Basic Training in the North American T-28 Trojan. First stop is VT-2, the transition and basic instrument training squadron located at North Field.

The first order of business is ground school where the specifics of the T-28 are taught. The Navy versions of the T-28, the B-Model and the carrier capable C- Model, have the performance of early WW II fighters such as the Grumman F4F Wildcat or the Curtiss P-40. The T-28 is powered by the 1425 horsepower Wright R-1820 engine. First introduced in the 1930s, the R-1820 also powered the B-17, DC-3, and Grumman F4F Wildcat. Although the R-1820 is a tried and proven engine with over 100,000 manufactured, it is the Achilles Heel of the T-28. Constantly being abused by students in countless touch-and-go landings, the engine suffered numerous failures. A sump plug light consisted of two electrified magnets. When loose metal in the oil system touched both magnets, a circuit was created that lit a bulb in the cockpit, warning of impending engine failure. While undergoing initial ground school, word arrives of a fatality. A married officer student is killed crash landing into a field due to engine failure. Bud gets the feeling that the grim reaper is following him around.

Bud and about two dozen other students are in the initial ground school class. One afternoon, an enlisted man comes into the class and hands the officer instructor a typewritten message. After reading the message, the instructor announces to the class that the U.S. is at war with the Soviet Union and that the country is under attack by Soviet nuclear bombers and missiles – the northern cities of the U.S. have already been hit! All of the students are dealing with this shocking news quietly in their own way with the exception of one guy. He is a Preflight classmate of Bud's, an Italian named Frank Stezzi, and from Tarrytown, N.Y., just north of New York City. He asks the instructor if New York has been bombed yet and is generally coming apart at the seams. Finally, he demands to the instructor that he wants to see a priest. The instructor has taken this as far as it will go and tells the class that this is a hoax - a hoax to test the readiness and ability of the individual to mentally deal with the reality of war if it ever happens. Frank becomes known to the other students as _War-Scare Stezzi._

The transition phase at VT-2 consisted of 9 flights, the last which was solo. Bud draws another good instructor, LCdr. Wheeler, the flight commander. From the start, Bud loves the T-28 and finds the B-Model superior to the C-Model. For one, the C is heavier due to the tail hook and beefed-up fuselage required for carrier landings. The C also has a shorter propeller for carrier deck clearance. These two differences make the B a much better performer than the C in climb rate and speed. Flying the T-28 was the most fun Bud has had so far in his life with his pants on! After seven flights, he passed his Safe-For-Solo check ride with flying colors. Bud is one of Wheeler's first students and gives Bud high grades that earns him _Student of the Week_ honors. Bud received a nice certificate and a visit with VT-2's commanding officer, Cdr. Wilson, a full Navy commander. In Wilson's office is a model of the Vought F8U Crusader, the Navy's hottest jet and the commander's last assignment. The commander asks Bud what he would like to fly in the fleet. When Bud replies "the P2V," the ugly, ponderous, land-based, patrol plane, Wilson gives Bud a look that suggests that he is out of his mind! Bud thinks but does not say: _When you are struggling to get by on your measly retirement pay, I am going to be an airline captain pulling down big bucks._

On March 31, 1962, a tornado struck the town of Milton, just south of the base. The storm killed 17, injured 80, and destroyed 130 homes. Of course the storm went through that part of town where a trailer park was located. There had been a laundromat in a concrete block building on the highway that led to the base. The only things left after the storm were the washing machines that had been bolted to the concrete slab floor. It was the most deadly tornado in Florida's history!

Bud gets some relief from the rigors of defending the United States of America from all enemies, foreign and domestic. Fanny comes down for a visit during her spring break. Bud gets a motel on Pensacola Beach and she and Bud spend a wonderful few days love making, eating out, and lying on the beach – a fun time was had by all! This was the first time in Bud's life when he had spending money of any consequence.

Instructors with a student had first priority in aircraft availability. Solo students had to wait in line for an aircraft to become available. On one day, there were quite a number of students awaiting aircraft for solos. One particular aircraft was offered to the students but no one would take it because it had a history of sump plug lights. Sometimes the sump plug lights were false. An engine inspection was required and if it passed, the aircraft was returned to service. One officer student who must have had a hot date lined up became impatient and took the aircraft. Sure enough he got a sump plug light and diverted into Brewton, one of Whiting's OLFs (Out Lying Field). The student landed long, went off the end of the runway, and flipped over. The student, a tall lad, managed to escape through a small space between the canopy and the ground.

All of the Whiting flights constantly monitored the tower radio frequency.

One day, a Vietnamese student called the tower: "Whiting tower, this is 2 Whiskey 384 solo, I have a sump plug light!"

The tower operator hits the crash alarm and radios the student: "2 Whiskey 384 solo, state your position!"

The student responded: "I am in the run-up area." The student was still on the ground!

Some wag then gets on the radio: "Trim it nose down and bail out!"

After another training flight, the instructor and the student were standing by the aircraft.

The instructor said: "Pull your rip-cord."

The student said: "Are you serious sir?"

The instructor: "Yes, pull your rip-cord."

The student pulled his rip-cord and his parachute tumbled out on to the ramp."

The instructor: "Now you have fucked up everything today!"

Another humorous incident occurred involving radio communications. The T-28 has a toggle switch on the throttle. Push it one way to transmit on the radio and the opposite way to communicate via intercom to the other pilot. Students would invariably push the switch the wrong way and transmit on the radio when they meant to communicate with the instructor.

One day a transmission sounded for all the world to hear: "I'm sorry sir. I don't know what is wrong with me today. I am all fucked up."

The tower immediately responded: "Aircraft making that last transmission, state your call sign!"

The instructor then responded: "He ain't that fucked up!"

One of Bud's friends is also a student of Wheeler's. The friend confessed that initially he got sick on every T-28 flight. Finally, Wheeler told him that on the next flight he was not to take any barf bag or gloves. If he got sick, he was to zip down his flight suit and barf inside it. Guess what, he didn't get sick again! The next phase involved 17 precision acrobatics flights – 10 of which were solo.

There is some excitement at Whiting. One of Bud's Pre-Flight roommates, Ken Slate, could not get his landing gear to come down on a solo flight. When he got back to Whiting, he circled around while maintenance personnel were giving him all sorts of advice on how to get the gear down. Nothing worked. Finally, he was told to make a gear up landing in the grass along side of the runway.

Later, he was sitting around the O'club with Bud and a couple of his friends relating the story.

Ken: "Do you really want to know what happened? If I tell you, you are going to have to promise to keep it a secret and never repeat it."

After they all swore a vow of silence, he continued: "I was buzzing cows and hit a tree at the end of the field. The prop got bent and there was a branch of the tree sticking out of the wing. The airplane was shaking like a dog shitting peach pits with the bent prop. So I faked the gear not coming down. When the airplane came to a stop after the gear up landing, I jumped out of the cockpit and threw the branch as far away from the airplane as I could before the crash crew got there. The prop definitely got bent with the gear up landing."

Ken got away with it and even got a letter of commendation for the feat! How lucky can you get! If he had gotten caught he would have been unceremoniously kicked out of flight training.

The very next week, Bud is flying solo and shooting touch-and-go landings at the Brewton airport. After about six landings he turned north and began climbing to practice acrobatics. He was north of the city of Brewton when his engine seized up. Not having enough altitude to glide back to Brewton, Bud called Whiting with a _Mayday_ , his approximate location, and told them he is going to have to land in a field. Bud looks around and spots a fairly long field that looks freshly plowed. Bud turns off the battery, gas, and magnetos just before making a wheels-up landing, which was standard procedure, and coming to a dusty stop – bent back propeller and all. He looks around and finds he is not more than 100 yards from a Southern style plantation house with white columns sitting up on a hill. Bud takes off his helmet, climbs a fence, and walks up to the house. As he is climbing up the front steps he observes two young ladies sunning themselves around a swimming pool to the side of the house with a radio blaring away. Bud rings the doorbell and it is answered by a distinguished looking gentleman.

Bud, holding his helmet under his arm, says: "Sir, I am Ensign Bud Shuler, United States Navy. I am here to pick up your daughter."

The gentleman laughs and offers Bud his hand: "I am Joe Williams. Where in the hell did you come from?"

Bud points over his shoulder and says: "Yonder sits my ride. I hope you don't mind where I parked it. I didn't have much choice in the matter."

Joe says: "Well, I'll be damn! I can't believe I didn't hear you!"

Bud: "Those contraptions are pretty quiet when the engine isn't running."

Joe then calls to the girls at the pool that someone is here to see them. Two extremely attractive golden blonds with brown eyes and brown eyebrows, wearing bikinis, about 5 ft. 6 each and built like brick shithouses, came onto the porch and got into a real titter after seeing Bud, this young, handsome Icarus from the sky, and the T-28 sitting in their front yard. Bud's eyes almost popped out of his head. It was the first time Bud had seen girls in bikinis in the flesh – and filled out so well at that! Bikinis were still a novelty and sensation in the United States at that time. Women who wore them on certain beaches could be arrested for public indecency. It would be several more years before they were acceptable everywhere.

Bud is introduced to the two girls by their father and the older one, Ashley said in a beautiful and alluring Southern drawl: "I have heard and seen y'all flying over all my life and I always wanted to see and meet a Navy pilot."

Bud caught his breath and replied: "Well now you have. I hope I haven't disappointed you."

Ashley laughed and came over and hugged Bud's arm to her breasts.

She replied: "Don't be silly. I am just happy you didn't get hurt."

Bud is lost and hopelessly in love!

Bud: "If I had known you were here, I would have crashed sooner!"

Everyone laughed including the blushing Ashley.

Joe: "Bud, you look like you could use a beer."

Ashley quickly added: "And a swim. We have plenty of extra suits."

Bud answered: "Before we get too relaxed, I would like to use your phone and let the base know I am OK and where I am. By the way, where am I?"

Joe answered: "Williams Plantation Road, three miles due north of Brewton, Alabama."

After calling the base, Bud resumed his chat with the Williams. The younger girl, Gracie, 17, is a senior in high school while Ashley, 21, will be a senior at Auburn University next fall.

Ashley is ahead on her studies and is taking a sabbatical from school this quarter. She is working part time for her father. Both girls are majorettes and have their own Ford Thunderbird convertibles. Ashley had been chosen to be the _Prima Donna_ or lead majorette that fall. She is a member of _Alpha Delta Pi_ ( _A.D. Pi_ ) sorority. Joe is a lawyer, former state legislator and a judge in nearby Brewton. The mother, Mrs. Claire Williams, who arrived home a short time later from shopping, has a brother who was a general in the Army and the commander of Ft. Knox. One look at Mrs. Williams told Bud who the girls got their looks from including the blond hair and brown eyes. Mrs. Williams came on to the porch.

She walked up to Bud and held out her hand: "I am Claire Williams."

Bud took her hand: "Bud Shuler, my pleasure. Mr. Williams didn't mention that he had three daughters!"

Mrs. Williams: "Bud, you have just made a friend for life!"

Everyone laughed.

After about fifteen minutes, the Navy search and rescue helicopter arrived and the crew was looking for Bud. Ashley asks Bud to stay and offered to drive him back to the base later. Bud tells her that there is nothing he would like better, but for some reason or another, the Navy takes crashes very seriously and he had to get back. The last guy that did what Bud just did was killed. He will have paperwork awaiting him and will have to be examined by the flight surgeon for any physical or psychological trauma that may have occurred. Bud told her that he would have to take a rain check on the swim.

The disappointed Ashley said: "You don't seem to have suffered any trauma to me."

Bud replies: "But I have had psychological trauma. I met two beautiful sisters today and I will never be the same again."

Gracie giggled.

Although Ashley was obviously pleased and amused, she still said: "Oh, stop it!"

Bud: "I really have to go, but I'll be back for that swim if that is OK."

Ashley: "You better!" She handed him a piece of paper with their phone number.

Fact is, Bud was in a surreal state. He felt like he was in the midst of a dream. Maybe he had been killed in the crash and this was heaven. After all, the Williams' home looked like heaven complete with two angels.

The Williams all watched Bud get on the helicopter and wave goodbye.

As the helicopter flew out of sight to the south, Ashley remarked: "He is so cute, funny, daring, exciting and unpretentious! I have a premonition that I have just met the man I am going to marry!"

Just the thought of her first born contemplating marriage, caused Mrs. Williams to have an emotional episode. Her eyes teared up.

She put her arm around Ashley and said: "Ashley honey, that is so precious! There is a good possibility that the feeling is mutual. He didn't take his eyes off of you the whole time he was here!"

Ashley: "Mama I can't explain it. I just have this funny feeling!"

Gracie added the spoiler: "Well, if you don't want him, I'll take him!"

Joe: "My initial impression is very good, but we will see. In just 20 minutes, he has damn near managed to charm the britches off all three females in this house! Both of my daughters are ready to marry him and my wife is his friend for life!"

Mrs. Williams: "Joseph Williams! Don't you be talking like that in front of your daughters!"

The whole scene was a classic example of the old Russian proverb: _Men fall in love with their eyes; women fall in love with their ears._

And come back he did. Bud and Ashley really hit it off and Bud literally swept her off her feet! A young man like Bud could be asked to make a list of all the desirable attributes he wished in a woman. He could make out his list or just point to Ashley and say: _Her_ , and accomplish the same thing. Ashley was the total package: beautiful face, great body, brains, class, money, liked to cook, good sense of humor, and had a good personality. She was comfortable with her beauty and was neither egotistic, bitchy, vain, nor snobbish. The only unknown attribute at this time was how good of a lover she could be.

On their first date, Bud and Ashley were parked in Bud's car behind the Williams' horse barn.

Bud: "Do you have a boyfriend?"

Ashley: "No."

Bud: "I would like to apply for the position!"

Ashley laughed: "You're hired! It is a non-paying job though!"

Bud: "That's fine. I think I am going to like the fringe benefits!"

Bud reached over and kissed Ashley for the first time. She was a terrible kisser and kissed with her lips pressed together like a young child.

Bud: "You haven't been kissed much have you?"

Ashley: "No."

Bud: "Good! And who ever did was a rank amateur. The mouth is the first and primary sexual part of the body. Beginning with kissing and ultimately with oral sex."

Ashley indignantly exclaimed: "Bud!"

Bud thought that he had gone too far, too soon, so he shut up.

After several moments of silence, Ashley said: "Well, go on."

Bud: "I got the impression you wanted me to stop."

Ashley: "I have to act a little like the modest, shocked, and innocent schoolgirl!"

Bud laughed and continued: "The first expression of affection and love is the kiss. A kiss can also be very sensuous and enjoyable. It is important to know how to do it well. Try opening your mouth slightly when we kiss."

Bud kissed her again, but this time with both of their mouths open a little.

Bud: "Now isn't that a lot better."

Ashley: "It's wonderful! Kiss me again you fool!"

Whenever Bud had some free time he was at Brewton either hanging around the pool with Ashley or taking her out. The Williams family had many distinguished ancestors that included a Confederate general from the Civil War, members of Congress, and an Alabama Supreme Court judge. The Williams had everything – swimming pool, a shuffleboard court alongside the pool, tennis court, a croquet court, riding horses, a skeet range, and a recreation room with a pool table, ping pong table, and pinball machines. There was always something to do at the Williams! Ashley and Gracie are accomplished horsewomen and taught Bud how to ride. Recreational activities in Brewton are rather limited so the normal routine was to go see a movie or go on a drive and stop for a milkshake. Sometimes they would take Gracie along when she did not have a date. The remainder of Bud's time in Pensacola turns out to be a very pleasant experience – flying and otherwise. It turns out that Ashley had just broken up with her college boyfriend. Bud is just what the doctor ordered. When Bud has a solo flight, he never failed to buzz the Williams' house to the delight of the girls. The neighbors knew that the older Williams' girl's boyfriend was the pilot and did not complain to the Navy. Most of them knew Bud anyway. The crashed T-28 had been quite a local happening and was visited by all the neighbors. Bud met a lot of them and chatted about Navy flight training. They in turn told Bud about all the crashes in the area that they were aware of – some dating back to WW II.

Bud gets along famously with Joe and Mrs. Williams. They harbored no resentment of Bud possibly taking their beautiful oldest daughter away from them. Joe liked what he saw in Bud. Bud could not say the same for Fanny's family who did not like Bud.

What really galled Bud was one of the reasons Fanny said her father gave for not liking Bud was because Bud was from the North - Maryland. Fanny's father may not have been up on his geography, but Maryland is south of the generally acknowledged border between the North and the South – the Mason-Dixon Line. Additionally, Fanny's father was a dyed-in-the-wool Republican. No true Southerner in those days was a Republican – that was Lincoln's party and the party of the Union. East Tennessee was a supporter of the Union during the Civil War and tried to secede from the Confederacy like West Virginia. One of Bud's fraternity brothers from Greenville, Tennessee had an ancestor that fought for the North. There is even a statue honoring the local Union veterans in Greenville. Fanny's mother admitted that they had an ancestor that she called _a slacker_ , who lived in the mountains of East Tennessee and northern Georgia who moved back and forth between the two states to stay out of the Confederate Army. When one visits the notorious Confederate prison camp at Andersonville, Georgia, it is amazing just how many soldiers in the cemetery were from Tennessee. A total of 31,000 Tennesseans served in the Union army.

Maryland, on the other hand, was very pro-South and was only kept from joining the Confederacy primarily by the intervention of the Union army. Maryland was also a slave state. At one time during the war, Baltimore's mayor and Maryland's representatives to Congress were imprisoned in Fort McHenry for being suspected Southern sympathizers. Twenty-seven state legislators (one-third of the General Assembly) were arrested and jailed in September 1861. Bud's uncle married a girl from Maryland's Eastern Shore. She had an ancestor who was a colonel in the Confederate Army. One third of the 85,000 Maryland soldiers in the Civil War served for the Confederacy. One Confederate veteran went on to become Baltimore's chief of police after the war. Some of the first bloodshed in the Civil War was the result of a gun battle in Baltimore between Union troops bound for Washington, D.C. and civilians. On top of that, it is only 35 miles from Baltimore to Virginia anyway. So Bud was objectionable because he was born 35 miles north of where he should have been born. What a flimsy reason and a load of bullshit!

Bud was always sympathetic to the South. In the late 1940s, some manufacturer came out with grey and blue forage caps for kids. Bud bought a grey one. Bud and his schoolmates would have mock battles on the playground between the blue and the grey. Bud also chose to attend a southern university. So who is the damn Yankee anyway?

Joe Williams entertained no such prejudices like Fanny's family. Joe was what he was supposed to be – a Democrat. He was a staunch conservative for sure as was Bud. Southern Democrats in those days were called _Dixiecrats_. Their political philosophy was closer to the Republican Party and they voted with the Republicans on most issues. Bud and Joe talked about politics quite a bit and Joe correctly predicted that in 10 to 20 years, the South would be Republican.

Turns out that Joe wanted to be a pilot but had poor eyesight. Joe and Mrs. Williams treat Bud like the son they never had. Joe has a cabin cruiser at Destin and checks Bud out in it. He lets Ashley and Bud use the boat as much as they want and insists on paying for the fuel. Whenever possible, Bud spends the night at the Williams, where he has a standing invitation, and is put up in the mother-in-law/maid's suite complete with kitchenette over the garage that had its own private entrance.

Two Saturday afternoons later at 3 p.m., the Williams threw a poolside barbeque for Bud and 12 of his Navy buddies. The celebration was officially for finally getting the T-28 removed from the front of their house. Ashley and Gracie invited 11 local girls for company.

Prior to the guests arriving, Bud is standing by the pool taking with Joe, Mrs. Williams and the two girls.

Joe is looking his daughters up and down: "Those damn bikinis. Claire and I were against letting the girls buy them but they would not stop pestering us. We finally caved in with the provision that they could only wear them here at the house. They aren't even sold locally and had to be ordered from California. I still think they are entirely too revealing and leave nothing to the imagination. What do you think Bud?"

Bud is standing there with a shit-eating grin on his face trying his best to avert his eyes from the very things Mr. Williams is talking about.

He knows that whatever he says, someone there is not going to like it: "Your Honor, I am going to have to plead the Fifth and decline to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me."

Everyone laughed.

When Joe stopped laughing he said: "Bud, I have always appreciated an honest man."

The guests began arriving. Bud's friends' eyes are as big as manhole covers when they saw the Williams' spread and the two nymphs, Ashley and Gracie, in their bikinis. Bud's buddies are green with envy and cannot believe what he has fallen into. Bud had warned them that Gracie was still in high school even though she didn't look like it. Gracie is having the time of her life with all the attention she is getting from all the young studs.

Ashley was the perfect hostess. She was attentive, friendly, talkative, and charming with just the slightest hint of flirtation to Bud's buddies. Bud had not told his friends that Ashley was off-limits; however, Ashley left no doubt in anyone's mind whose girl she was. Bud was sitting in a chair by the pool talking shop and football with six other guys.

One of the guys, a Florida grad said: "Shuler, why in the hell did you go to a goat-roping school like Tennessee?"

Bud: "It was the only school that accepted me. Besides, I just loved their color - orange. You can wear it to the football game on Saturday, wear it hunting on Sunday, and wear it during the week picking up trash along the highway!"

Everyone laughed. The conversation came to an abrupt halt when they spotted Ashley gliding in their direction. All eyes were on Ashley as she sat on Bud's lap, put her arms around his neck, hugged his head to her breasts and kissed him on the cheek. Seeing this, several of the guys groaned.

Bud: "You smell good! What is that?"

Ashley: "It's a new coconut scented suntan lotion from one of my girlfriends."

Bud: "Well, you smell good enough to eat."

Ashley laughed: "Then I am going to have to get some! Fellows, I just got a call concerning my six missing friends. They had a flat tire and will be here shortly. Is there anything I can get y'all?" The other guys just sat there, stunned in silent disbelief, drooling, with their mouths hanging open staring at the gorgeous Ashley who was half falling out of her bikini.

Bud: "I guess we could all use another beer. I'll give you a hand."

Ashley: "No, I'll get it. You stay here and entertain the guys."

When Ashley got up and left to get the beer, she was the one who provided the entertainment. Everyone had their eyes glued on Ashley's ass as she slinked away.

Once she was out of earshot, one guy said: "Jesus, what a doll! For the life of me, I can't fathom what she can possibly see in an ugly cocksucker like you Shuler, especially with me and the other guys around."

To be perfectly honest, Bud had wondered what she saw in him too!

Instead of speculating further in that particular direction, Bud answered the guys: "Would you like to see me lick my eyebrows or pull my pants down and show you? She never lets me alone – always hanging on me and kissing me."

One of the guys said: "That is it! You need cooling off!"

The six guys got up as if on cue and threw Bud in the pool.

Ashley and another girl returned with the beer and hors d'oeuvres.

Bud had climbed out of the pool and was back in his chair. The other guys were all sitting on low lounges. Ashley had to bend over when offering them hors d'oeuvres.

Not a man Jack among them could resist looking down the front of Ashley's bikini top when she bent over to serve them. They were each in turn rewarded with a view of the whole D-cup sized enchiladas. Either Ashley did not realize what she was doing or did it on purpose to further tantalize the guys. She knew very well what effect she had on men and enjoyed playing the tease - a little.

When Ashley, the other girl, and Bud left to attend to other guests, the conversation took an extremely vulgar turn for the worse. It is appalling just how gross a group of young men drinking beer can be, even if they are supposed to be officers and gentlemen.

"Son-of-a-bitch, did you see those tits? I could even see the nipples! She gives me such a hard-on, I don't have enough skin left to blink my eyes. When Shuler said she smelled good enough to eat and she said she was going to have to get some of that suntan lotion, I almost creamed in my jeans. And just to think that she is Ensign Conrad Shuler, Esquire's private property! How does that fucker do it?"

"I'd just like to smell Shuler's finger!"

"Let's pick a fight with them. If you guys can whip Bud, I'll lick her!"

"I'd eat the crotch out of her skivvy drawers!"

Another guy chimed in with: "Christ, what a fox! I saw all those tits too. She is so hot, she has to shit in the creek for fear of setting the woods on fire!"

"While we are on that particular subject, I would let her shit on my chest just to see her asshole relax. There is no way her shit could possibly stink anyway!"

Finally, one guy started talking in a very indignant manner: "You guys are cruder than a bunch of Marines. You all ought to be ashamed of yourselves for using such coarse language in reference to our buddy's girlfriend. Personally, I would eat a yard of her shit just to get to see where it came from."

They all laughed, so very proud of themselves and their witticisms.

The other six girls finally arrived. Everyone had a great time playing all the games available, drinking beer, dancing and swimming. A couple of the guys and girls went horseback riding. The highlight of the party was the Hula Hoop contest. First it was the guys judged by the girls. This was an absolute riot as several of the guys, including Bud, had never Hula Hooped before. Some of the guys almost laughed themselves sick watching other guys blunderingly trying to get the Hoop going. The girls contest was a little more serious but not much of a contest at all. Ashley and Gracie, the only girls in bikinis, were the hands down favorites, even though they were not the best Hula Hoopers. When Gracie began her sexy Hula Hoop motion, the guys just went wild and started hooting, hollering, clapping and generally cheering her on! Mr. Williams came out of the house to see what all the commotion was about. When he saw what was going on, he just shook his head and retreated back into the house. Then it was Ashley's turn. The guys started cheering but quickly turned silent as they were entranced by the performance – each mentally visualizing having sex with Ashley. The sexually suggestive, lithe rhythmic movement of her breasts, bare midriff, and hips was too much for one of the guys and he jumped into the pool, presumably to conceal his erection. When she finished she received a rousing round of applause and was declared the winner!

One of the guys said to a couple of the other guys under his breath: "Jesus H. Christ! That was the hottest thing I have ever seen!"

Another guy said: "Great balls of fire! I think I have just witnessed the reincarnation of Salome and _The Dance of the Seven Veils_!"

A third guy: "Excuse me for not being able to talk properly. My tongue is hard!"

The party finally broke up around 10 p.m. - some of the jailbait had to get home. Several of the guys went off with telephone numbers - two with girls on their arms.

In parting, one of the guys said to the Williams: "Mr. and Mrs. Williams the rest of the fellows have asked me to speak for us all. We would like to thank you and your daughters so much for your generous hospitality. We have all been overwhelmed with your consideration, graciousness and kindness. You have a very beautiful place here and two very lovely and charming daughters. This day has been the best time all of us have had since we have been in the Navy."

As Bud walked them out to their cars and one of the guys said: "Bud, we will just follow you out of here."

Bud: "I am not leaving. I'm spending the night."

After a moment or two of silence, one of the guys recovered enough to comment: "Shuler, you are undoubtedly the luckiest son-of-a-bitch I have ever known. You had the most fortuitous crash in the history of aviation!"

Then came a chorus of: "I'd like to second that."

Quickly followed by a few: "Me too!"

Bud: "I have had this problem all of my life of beautiful women throwing themselves at me."

The guy came back with: "I would like to add that you are also undoubtedly the most full of shit son-of-a-bitch I have ever known too."

There came an even louder chorus of: "I'd like to second that one too."

Bud: "Fellows, you will have to excuse me, I have to go and screw Ashley. She has been wanting me all day and can't wait any longer. I just hope the younger sister Gracie doesn't want me to screw her too tonight. It has been a long day and I am kinda bushed from all of today's activities."

Then there came a bunch of cat calls!

"Shuler, if I may be so bold, I would like to suggest who you should fuck first - go fuck yourself!"

Everyone laughed at that comment, including Bud. In spite of the seemingly hostile, abrasive, and sophomoric banter going on between the guys, it was all in the spirit of good natured fun. No one ever became insulted or got mad. All the guys were indebted to Bud for inviting them to the party and thanked him profusely at every turn. It was a month before Bud could even buy himself a beer at the O'Club. If there was ever another party at the Williams, they all hoped to be invited back. By Monday's end, two days later, every student at Whiting and most of the instructors had heard about the party.

The guys insisted that Bud bring Ashley to Happy Hour at Whiting's O'Club the next Friday. The princess was on her throne, sitting on a bar stool with her back to the bar. She was at her beautiful self, close fitting yellow dress, blond hair done up in a French braid, legs crossed, and showing the boys just the right amount of leg and cleavage. She had her charm dialed all the way up! Ashley held court with, Bud, her prince consort at her side while Bud's friends hovered around her feet like a pack of royal lapdogs, panting, drooling, and hoping for a pat on the head. Even a few of the instructors came over for an introduction and conversation with her. When Bud went to the bathroom, an unmarried instructor, Marine Captain Jim Fields, who thought he was God's gift to women and had had too much to drink, had the balls to call Ashley _Sweet Cheeks_.

Ashley ignored him.

He then said: "Honey, why don't you give me your phone number and I will show you what it is like to go out with a real man instead of these boys here."

Ashley: "If you are an example of a real man, I think I will stick with the boys. Furthermore, I wouldn't give you the time of day let alone my phone number if you were the last man on earth."

Another instructor, Navy Lt. Dick Fry, cautioned Fields: "Jim, take it easy."

Fields did not listen or know when to stop, making several sexist and inappropriate remarks to Ashley. Bud returned just in time to hear Fields ask Ashley if she would like to sit on his face. That comment caused the other instructors and Bud's buddies to blanch and gasp. Ashley hauled off and slapped Fields loudly across the face, getting the attention of everyone in the bar, causing many of the bystanders to laugh.

Bud stepped up to Fields and added: "That's enough Captain!"

The embarrassed, humiliated, and enraged Fields then pushed Bud hard in the chest. Bud, who wrestled in college, took Fields' legs out from under him and was on top of him on the floor in the blink of an eye. Bud was about to bang Fields head on the floor when Bud's friends pull him off of Fields. Several of the instructors grabbed Fields and hustled him out of the club.

When Bud's buddies finally let him go he said: "Thanks for stopping me from killing that son-of-a-bitch!"

After ever body calmed down Bud said: "You know, I tried to join the Marines first, but when they found out my parents were married, they wouldn't take me."

Everyone laughed

Bud added: "I just hope I never have him as an instructor."

Lt. Fry said: "Don't worry about it. I will guarantee that will never happen. I am his scheduling officer. Captain Fields is in deep shit anyway – oh, please excuse the bad language Ashley."

Ashley kissed Fry on the cheek and said: "No problem! Thank you Dick! You are so sweet."

Ashley just acquired another lapdog.

The next week, Bud, Captain Fields, and Lt. Fry were all standing in front of Cdr. Wilson's desk, the C. O. of VT-2.

Wilson: "What happened Lt. Fry?"

Fry told Wilson what had transpired and what Fields had said. He added: "It is my understanding sir, that the young lady, Miss Ashley Williams, is from a highly prominent Brewton family with a long line of distinguished military, legal, and political men dating back to revolutionary times. Her father is an ex- state legislator and now a judge. Her uncle is a major general in the Army and the C.O. of Ft. Knox."

Wilson: "And you Captain Fields, a perfect stranger, asked her if she would like to sit on your face! I wouldn't blame her if she had a brick in her hand when she slapped you! Ensign Shuler, I will have to admit that I would have probably done the same thing you did. I would like to recommend, however, that you do not get in the habit of fighting with officers senior to you in the future. Did Miss Williams tell her father what happened?"

Bud: "Not yet sir. She said she would tell him only if the Navy took any disciplinary action against me for defending her honor."

Wilson: "Very well. That sounds reasonable to me. You and Lt. Fry may go."

After Bud and Fry left, Wilson said: "What do you have to say for yourself Captain Fields?"

Fields: "I had too much to drink sir."

Wilson: "You know very well that is no excuse. You have singlehandedly undermined the discipline, morale and good order on this base and caused the students to lose respect for the instructors. This incident has spread like wildfire all over the base. Everyone: instructors, students, enlisted, and civilians all know what happened. It is only a matter of time before the entire Training Command hears of it – including the Admiral. Then there will be hell to pay!"

Fields: "Sorry sir."

Wilson: "I am proposing that you be banned from the officer's club until further notice and be placed in hack for two weeks." Being "placed in hack" is being confined to your quarters except for duties and meals.

Wilson continued: "You better hope to God that the girl's father and uncle don't protest to the Admiral and embarrass the Navy. You are also to write letters of apology to the girl and Ensign Shuler. I better not discover you or any of your friends engaging in some kind of vendetta against Ensign Shuler either. Captain Shoemaker (the C.O. of Whiting) wants to see you ASAP. Call and arrange for an appointment. I will forward my recommendation of your punishment to the Captain and see if it is acceptable to him. You are dismissed."

After Fields left, Cdr. Wilson called Captain Shoemaker and briefed him on the incident. It was a good thing too, since the next morning, the Captain got a call from the Admiral.

The Admiral: "Bill, good morning. An account of an alarming incident that allegedly occurred at your O'Club on Friday last has just reached me. Specifically that an intoxicated Marine instructor groped a Congressman's daughter and was punched out by her date, an officer student. "

Captain Shoemaker: "Sir, the account of the incident that reached you is not accurate and has been embellished. The only factual part of that account is that there was a drunken Marine captain, James Fields, involved as well as a young lady, a 21 year-old college senior, and her escort, an officer student pilot."

The Admiral: "Please enlighten me."

Captain Shoemaker: "The young lady was at club as the date of an ensign student, Conrad Shuler. She is not a Congressman's daughter; nevertheless, she is from a very prominent aristocratic Southern family with a long line of distinguished ancestors dating back to the Revolutionary War on both sides of her family. I am told her father is a former state legislator and currently a judge in Brewton. Her uncle is a major general in the Army and the present commander of Ft. Knox."

The Admiral: "Do you happen to know the young lady's name?"

Captain Shoemaker: "Ashley Williams, sir."

The Admiral: "I know who her father is. Judge Williams is a very reasonable and just man. He has treated the several Navy men who got into trouble with the law in Alabama and came before his court very fairly. I do not want the Navy to get on his wrong side."

Captain Shoemaker: "Coincidentally sir, Ensign Shuler had engine failure and deadsticked his aircraft onto the Williams farm about four weeks ago. That is when Shuler became acquainted with Miss Williams. Mr. Williams was extremely cooperative and refused to accept any monetary compensation from the Navy for tearing up his property."

Admiral: "Very interesting. Continue."

Captain Shoemaker: "Well sir, fortunately for Captain Fields, he did not make any physical contact with Miss Williams. The contention was due to the sexual remarks Captain Fields made to Miss Williams prompting her to slap Fields across the face. When Ensign Shuler also objected, Captain Fields instigated the violence by shoving Ensign Shuler in the chest. It appears that Fields shoved the wrong man. Ensign Shuler, who was a former competitive wrestler, took Captain Fields off of his feet and was on top of him on the floor. Ensign Shuler was about to introduce Captain Fields face to the floor when they were separated."

The Admiral: "I hate to say it, but I almost wish I was there to see that! It sounds to me that Captain Fields deserved a good ass kicking. Did Miss Williams inform her family of this incident?"

Captain Shoemaker: "Miss Williams has indicated that she will keep it confidential as long as Ensign Shuler is not disciplined for defending her honor."

The Admiral: "That is commendable and extremely loyal of Miss Williams but unnecessary. She must be quite a young lady and a credit to her pedigree. I don't intend to take any disciplinary action against Ensign Shuler anyway. He is as much of a victim as Miss Williams and was only defending his companion. It is a sad state of affairs when a J. O. (junior officer) cannot take a young lady to the Officer's Club without being set upon."

Captain Shoemaker: "I totally agree sir."

The Admiral: "Captain Fields is another matter. I am not going to tolerate such reprehensible conduct from an officer, especially a flight instructor, under my command. He is in all probability the laughing stock of the entire base after being bested by a student. He has become useless as an instructor since there is not one student who will respect him any longer. I am going to get rid of Fields and have him transferred out of the Training Command. Go ahead and ground him. The Marines can have him back. I am also going to send a letter to all commands accurately describing the entire incident and reminding the instructors that they are supposed to be leaders and setting an example to the students - not vulgarly propositioning their girlfriends or instigating brawls with them. So Bill, how is the golf game going? We are going to have to get a game up. Are you available Saturday morning?"

Captain Fields was transferred along with a letter of reprimand from the Admiral.

As a result of the party, Ashley, and Captain Fields, Bud became the envied hero and a legend among Whiting's student pilots as well as some of the instructors and was called _Lucky Bud_. Ashley was known as _The Hostess with the Mostess,_ _The Golden Goddess_ , and _The Brewton Beauty_. Captain Fields was disliked by the students and other instructors alike. All the students hated Captain Fields and considered him an egotistical hard assed prick. The other instructors disliked Fields for busting their best students on check rides for marginal reasons. Most everyone was delighted to hear of Fields' humiliation by Bud and subsequently being kicked out of the Training Command. Bud was treated with the greatest respect by the other students and instructors. Most assumed that Bud had connections in high places or was a bad ass. Nobody messed with him!

When Bud walked into a room at Whiting, he overheard more than once: "There's Lucky Bud Shuler."

When Bud got new instructors, several said: "Oh, so you're the infamous Lucky Bud Shuler!" or something similar.

Bud's spirited defense of Ashley further enhanced her feelings toward him. She considered Bud as her champion and knight in shining armor. Shortly, she would award her gallant defender for his efforts.

Joe eventually learned of the incident at the O'Club and asked Bud about it. Bud told Joe the entire story. When Bud informed Joe that the culprit had been transferred, Joe was satisfied and thanked Bud for defending his daughter.

Joe said that it had been years since he had seen the air station at Pensacola. Mrs. Williams and the girls said they had never seen it but would love to. Bud invited the Williams to a tour of the base and dinner at the Officer's Club the next weekend.

It seems that a little sibling rivalry had developed between Gracie and Ashley for Bud's attention. To her credit, Ashley was extremely tolerant of her younger sister's flirtations. Bud aggravated the situation by pinching Gracie on her cute little ass as well as teasing and flirting with her. Apparently Gracie liked it. When no one else was around, she would stand next to where Bud was standing or sitting, putting her ass within easy reach. Bud knew he was being despicable, but he couldn't help it – she was just so cute! On one occasion, Bud and Gracie ran into each other alone in the upstairs hallway. Gracie threw both of her arms around Bud's neck and kissed him – trying to swab his tonsils with her tongue in the process. Bud thought: _Uh oh! This is getting out of hand!_ He was going to have to cool it with Gracie or jeopardized his relationship with Ashley.

Bud sat between Ashley and Gracie in the back of Joe's Cadillac on the one and a half hour drive to Pensacola the next Saturday. As they departed the Williams' home, Bud inadvertently poured a little gas on the fire by holding both of the girls' hands and saying: "Well, I certainly have the best seat in the house between the two prettiest young ladies in Brewton!" Gracie was delighted! So was Ashley – even more so when Bud dropped Gracie's hand and continued holding hers.

At the main gate, Bud handed the immaculately dressed, tall Marine sentry, who looked like he just stepped out of a recruitment poster, his ID card.

The Marine handed the ID along with a visitor's pass back to Bud and said: "Thank you Sir. You and your guests have a pleasant evening."

He then took a step backward and delivered a crisp salute. Even Bud was impressed.

Gracie said: "He's cute!"

From the main gate, the road passes through the base golf course with the mature Spanish moss festooned oak trees. They then drove by the old stately senior officer's quarters \- more oak trees with Spanish moss. Bud showed them the academic building and the barracks where he stayed during Preflight. From there, it was down to the old base which had been initially established in 1914 and the docked aircraft carrier, the massive gray _USS Antietam_. Bud pointed out _The Grinder_ where the boys who have been bad marched off demerits. For some reason, the girls were fascinated by _The Grinder_. They asked Bud how many hours he had spent marching off demerits and for what offences. Bud had gotten two five-demerit penalties during Preflight. One was for leaving his locker unlocked and the other for receiving five checks during inspections – big crimes for sure! Bud showed them and explained the ejection seat trainer that was powered by an explosive charge. Everyone who flew in a jet had to first get qualified by getting shot by the trainer. They went by the water training facility. Bud explained the Dilbert Dunker and what it entailed. From there they saw the BOQ, the hospital, Fort Barrancas - built in the 1700s and the National Cemetery. Then it was out to the Forest Sherman Field area, the Blue Angels facilities, and the Obstacle Course which Bud thoroughly explained. Finally, he showed them the Pensacola Lighthouse, the first lighthouse built by the United States in Florida in 1826.

Bud: "The lighthouse is allegedly haunted by the first lighthouse keeper, supposedly murdered by his wife."

Gracie: "Why did she murder him?"

Bud: "Legend says it is because he would not let her have a bikini."

Everyone laughed including Joe who said: "Bud, you are an _Agent Provocateur_!"

Gracie: "What does that mean?"

Bud: "Gracie, that is a nice way of calling me an agitator and troublemaker."

Ashley hugged Bud's arm and said: "Agitator and troublemaker? Not my Bud!"

With the tour over, they arrived at the Mustin Beach Officer's Club. The Club is located right on Pensacola Bay with its own beach and swimming pool. The interior features a large wood bar and opulent dining room. Everyone had a drink in the bar with the exception of Gracie. Bud presented miniature gold Navy pilot's sweetheart wings to each of the ladies and a very nice pewter desktop model of a T-28 to Joe as a memento of the occasion and in appreciation of their generosity. The guys who had been at the barbeque all contributed to the Williams' presents. They then proceeded to the dining room for a very nice dinner along with wine. Joe allowed Gracie to have wine with the meal. Joe offered to pay but Bud insisted on picking up the tab, even though it put a dent in his meager finances. On the ride back to Brewton, Ashley was sure to sit between Gracie and Bud. Ashley pressed herself as close to Bud as was physically possible, held his hand, and rubbed her leg against his leg the entire way.

By the time they got back to Brewton it was around 11. Bud and the girls changed into shorts while Mr. and Mrs. Williams watched the late news and had a nightcap. Ashley and Bud went out onto the dark screened in porch and sat down on a couch that was not visible from inside the house. Ashley was all over Bud.

He was just about to make his move in that direction, when the impatient Ashley took Bud's hand, put it on her breast and whispered: "Feel me up!" She then started French kissing him. Bud got the message - loud and clear.

Bud's hands on her breasts was not the first time, but Bud's next move was. He dropped his hand and began fondling Ashley between her legs. Ashley offered no resistance but spread her legs, squirmed and moaned.

During college at Tennessee, Bud and Ron Poehlman, a fraternity brother of his, were dating two _A. D. Pis_ , the same sorority Ashley belonged to. Bud and his buddy were having considerable difficulties with the two. These problems prompted Ron to make a profound and sour grape statement in frustration: "Contrary to popular belief, _A. D. Pis_ do have pussies!"

Well, the fraternity boys at Tennessee may have thought _A. D. Pis_ at their school did not have pussies, but _A. D. Pis_ from Auburn definitely had them because Bud had his hand on Ashley's.

Bud put his hand up the leg of Ashley loose fitting shorts and cupped her vulva in his hand. He felt a little wet spot on her panties, right where one would expect to find a little wet spot on a sexually aroused woman. Ashley moaned a little louder. Bud was in the process of sliding his fingers into Ashley's panties when they heard voices approaching the door. Bud and Ashley quickly disengaged. Mr. and Mrs. Williams came out on to the porch. Thank God it was dark on the porch and the Williams did not turn on the lights.

Mrs. Williams then made one of the classic understatements of all time: "We hope we are not interrupting anything, but Joe and I would like to thank you again for the wonderful evening and the nice presents. We are turning in. See you in the morning."

Before Bud can resume his quest, Gracie came out on the porch and started chatting. Bud got a case of the _Blue Balls_ and was extremely uncomfortable. When it became obvious to Ashley that Gracie was not going to leave, Ashley said she was tired and was going to bed. Bud limped into the house.

Ashley: "Bud, is something wrong with your leg?"

Bud: "My right leg went to sleep sitting on the couch!"

Ashley: "Sit down in this chair."

Bud: "Don't worry about it. It's OK."

Ashley insisted that Bud sat down. She knelt in front of him and massaged his right thigh.

Bud whispered to Ashley: "Higher."

Ashley laughed.

The three of them stopped by the kitchen for something to drink before turning in. Ashley kissed and hugged Bud good night, giving him a very provocative look. Not to be outdone, Gracie also kissed and hugged Bud good night. Ashley gave Gracie a look that could kill.

In his room, Bud was climbing the walls with frustration. He is beside himself and cannot get his mind off of that little wet spot. He smells his hand. The poignant scent only made matters worse. He first considers going to Ashley's room but wisely concludes that would not be a good idea. Bud finally cooled down a little. He had just turned off the light and is lying in bed smelling his hand. He is considering masturbating when he heard someone enter the room and lock the door. Bud hopes that it is not Gracie. That would be a real dilemma in Bud's present state! Bud's prayers are answered as Ashley slipped into bed alongside him.

Ashley mimicked her mother and said: "I hope I am not interrupting anything, but I would like to take this opportunity Bud to thank you again for the wonderful evening."

Bud chuckled: "You can interrupt me like this anytime you want. I like the way you show your appreciation. With any luck, I think that this evening is about to get even more wonderful. By the way, I would like to take this opportunity to mention that I love you."

Ashley: "Bud, I love you too!"

After going and getting a condom from his toilet kit in the bathroom, Bud left the light on.

Ashley: "Aren't you going to turn the light off?"

Bud: "No, as the Big Bad Wolf said to Little Red Riding Hood: _All the better to see when I eat you_!"

Ashley giggled.

Bud started right back up where he left off and went straight to that little wet spot. Ashley was more than ready. Bud literally ripped off Ashley's pajama bottoms and buried his face between her legs. Ashley went wild with ecstasy. Bud feels a little guilty having sex with Joe's daughter, but not guilty enough to turn her away - as it is written: "A hard-on has no conscience." Bud discovered that Ashley wasn't a virgin anyway.

While Bud was titillating Ashley orally, he managed to get the condom on. When he figured she had had enough, he mounted and entered her. Bud had read that the average length of intercourse was two minutes. He did not last that long his first time in Ashley – who would? Fortunately, Ashley was sufficiently stimulated that more time was not necessary. They both climaxed about the same time!

Later, Ashley told Bud that he was the second man she had sex with. The first was her ex-boyfriend back at school. Ashley also told Bud that this was the first time she had received oral sex. She loved it, and couldn't wait until Bud did it again!

Bud: "Remember me telling you the mouth was a primary sexual part of the body?"

Ashley: "I really see what you were talking about now!"

Bud: "I love your scent too. It is pungent, erotic, and enticing!"

Ashley: "I'll have to take your word on that."

Bud told Ashley that his leg did not go to sleep, but that he had _Blue Balls!_

Ashley misheard Bud: "Blue Bells? What is that?"

Bud got tickled: "It's _Blue Balls_ \- Not _Blue Bells_."

Ashley: "Whatever."

Bud explained that _Blue Balls_ was the pain a male can get when he gets highly sexually aroused, but does not ejaculate.

Ashley: "You poor thing! I never heard of that."

Bud: "I wouldn't expect that a young lady like you would. You cured it though when we had sex. You are such a healer! I am going to enjoy your further sexual education. Sex Ed 102 comes next!"

_Blue Bells_ and _Blue Balls_ became a private joke between Ashley and Bud.

Bud couldn't wait for the next weekend. He arrived at the Williams late Friday afternoon with the greatest of expectations, a good supply of condoms, and a hard-on!

Ashley thought she was throwing a bucket of cold water on Bud when she said: "Bud, I'm sorry, but I'm having my period."

Bud: "Don't be sorry. Having it is infinitely better than missing it!"

Ashley laughed: "Do you still want me to come to your room tonight?"

Bud: "Yes."

Ashley: "We won't be able to do anything."

Bud: "We'll see about that! You wouldn't want to give me another case of _Blue Bells_?"

Bud spent the weekend acquainting Ashley with: _Alternative Methods of Sexually Satisfying Your Man When You Are Having Your Period_.

This was all new for Ashley, but she was a quick and enthusiastic learner!

Bud started Ashley out easy and began with a hand-job. When she was not kissing Bud, she watched what she was doing with rap attention. When Bud came, she milked him dry. Afterwards, she went and got a wet washcloth and cleaned Bud up.

Ashley: "That was fun! I always wanted to see how one of those things worked. He sure can shoot a long way and is a messy little fellow though!"

Bud laughed: "He was designed to shoot into things!"

The next night, Bud advanced to fellatio. Bud told her that a blowjob was a misnomer. There is no blowing involved but a sucking motion that simulates intercourse. Ashley dove right in with no hesitation.

When Bud was about to ejaculate, he gave her a five second warning: "I'm coming!"

To Bud's astonishment, Ashley didn't quit but started sucking faster and harder. _Holy Shit!_ Ashley continued sucking and swallowed as Bud exploded in her mouth.

Bud: "Wow! Are you sure that was the first time you did that?"

Ashley: "Yes. I liked doing that to you. I really got turned on and excited. You taste good too."

Bud: "Well, you're a natural at it. That was the best one I ever had – not that I have had that many. You have passed Sex Ed 102 with an A. Sex Ed 201 is next. Next weekend we will have to go _69_."

Ashley heard what that was: "Ooh, how exciting! I can't wait!"

Bud did not want to take advantage of Joe's generosity so he and Ashley only used the boat occasionally. Ashley had a little of the _Nature Girl_ in her. When only she and Bud took the boat out, Ashley would take all of her clothes off as soon as they are a safe distance from land and other boats and sunbathed in the nude. Ashley knew she had a beautiful body and liked Bud to admire it. Because of this practice, Bud never invited anyone else along on the boat after Ashley and he became intimate.

Ashley: "My father said I could only wear my bikini at the house. He didn't say that I couldn't go nude!"

Bud: "God, what a wonderful sight! I should have brought my camera."

Ashley: "Don't even think about it!"

Bud can only take so much of looking at a nude Ashley. Before long, he shut off the motor and let the boat drift. He then took Ashley into the boat's cabin. Bud and Ashley had sex everywhere on the 1000 acre Williams' plantation – wherever they could find privacy. When Bud spent the night, Ashley would sneak into his room after everyone had gone to bed. They would set an alarm for 5 a.m. so Ashley could get back to her room before anyone got up.

Meanwhile back at the ranch, the basic instrument phase came next – all with an instructor. Bud draws another good instructor, Lt. B. B. Blum. No more solo flights over Brewton for a while. In preparation for instrument training, students spent considerable time in the Link Trainer from day one at Whiting. Initially developed in the 1930s as a carnival ride, every WW II combatant air force used Link Trainers for instrument training. One captured Luftwaffe bomber pilot stated that he had 50 hours in the Link! Although this device has been around longer than the students, it is still a very effective instrument trainer.

During instrument training flights, the instructor mans the front seat with the student in the back under a hood. Instrument flights take place at altitudes above 10,000 ft. to stay out of the way of the transition flying below 10,000 ft. It is also considerably colder above 10,000 so one sweats on the ground and freezes in the air. Oxygen is required above 10,000 ft. Basic instrument training requires 12 flights all with an instructor.

On one of the flights, Blum told Bud to pop up the hood. There were dozens and dozens of clouds that were shaped like columns or trees in a forest. The difference was that the trees were a few thousand feet tall. It was a rare sight and Blum wanted Bud to share it.

One of the drills during basic instrument training is called _Partial Panel_. During this exercise, the student must fly on instruments without the main instrument, the attitude indicator or artificial horizon. The student must fly blind with only the altimeter, the airspeed indicator, compass and the turn and slip indicator which shows how much the aircraft is turning or if it is in a skid (crab). Initially, the student must fly straight and level and then make climbing or descending turns. The final portion of this training is called _Recovery from Unusual Attitudes_. The instructor tells the student to put his head down and not look at the instruments. The instructor then puts the aircraft in an unusual attitude and the student then is told to raise his head and recover. If the turn needle is deflected, the student levels the wings. If the airspeed is increasing, the stick should be pulled back. Conversely, if the airspeed is decreasing, the stick must be pushed forward, lowering the nose and increasing the airspeed. During the final maneuver during this training, Blum put Bud in an unusual attitude and then told Bud to take over the controls. Bud looks at the instruments and everything is stable. Then the aircraft's speed began to increase. Bud pulled back on the stick and the airspeed began increasing more. Bud pulled further back on the stick and the airspeed increased even more. Blum had put Bud upside down or inverted, but with a perfect 1 negative G on the aircraft – making the aircraft feel like it was right side up and in straight and level flight. Bud wound up split S-ing the aircraft, just like the second half of a loop. Lt. Blum undoubtedly was amused with Bud's recovery and wanted to see if Bud recognized the situation. Bud was not graded down for this. The maneuver was more of a demonstration than anything else. If this was ever given to him again, Bud would realize the situation.

Toward the end of basic instruments, the student's first night flight takes place. First the student goes up with an instructor and gets approved for night flight although it is only dusk and not totally dark. After a few landings, the instructor is dropped off and the students take to the air solo. Now it is really dark! The students fly around the field in a big circle for about an hour and then land – that's all there is to it. On just about any given night during the week at Whiting, one can hear and see a line of airplanes flying around and around the field like a string of pearls. It is quite a sight. The night flight is usually a routine operation. Sometime later, two Vietnamese students are taking their first night flight. One of the students stalls and spins into the ground killing himself. This upset the second Vietnamese student so much that he also stalled and spun in to his death!

An unacceptable number of flight students were washing out of jet training at Meridian than the Navy anticipated. These were the students with the best flight grades that were being sent to Meridian from primary training at Saufley. The Navy then instituted a program called "Pipeline Evaluation Program" to reduce the number of failures. The concept was to give jet bounded students from Saufley some T-28 flight training as a transition to the North American T-2 Buckeye. As a test, the Navy asked for volunteers who had a certain number of hours in the T-28 and good flight grades at Whiting to transfer to jet training at Meridian. Following training, volunteers were promised assignment to any aircraft in the Navy. This was a godsend for students who wanted to fly jets and failed to get them the first time around after Saufley. Approximately, two dozen volunteers were selected at Whiting and sent to Meridian. The T-28 training Whiting students earned higher grades at Meridian and advanced training than students directly from Saufley. Although the test was successful, the Navy decided to keep the syllabus as it was. Bud was asked to volunteer, but he was happy and content where he was. They were going to have to drag him away from Ashley kicking and screaming as it was.

Bud was scheduled for a flight late Friday afternoon. Since he would be arriving very late at Brewton, Ashley drove to Whiting to meet Bud at the O'club for drinks and dinner. When Ashley arrived at the club she was quickly surrounded by a bevy of young men including several of Bud's friends who had gone to the party.

One of Ashley's admirers was a handsome ensign that no one knew. The ensign had a very high opinion of himself and hustled Ashley very aggressively. He made several remarks that obviously irritated Ashley and raised the eyebrows of the other bystanders.

Even after Ashley told him to buzz off, he kept it up. He asked Ashley if he could buy her a drink. After she declined, the ensign went to the bar to get another drink for himself. One of Bud's buddies, Ted McMahon, followed him and introduced himself.

Ted: "You haven't been here long have you?

The ensign: "No, I just got here from Saufley."

Ted: "Well, if I may, I would like to give you a word to the wise. If I was you, I would throttle back a little on what you say to her. The last guy, a Marine captain instructor, who came on too strong to her, like you are doing, wound up getting his ass whipped by the guy she is waiting for and got kicked out of the Training Command in the bargain! If you don't believe me, just ask around about Bud Shuler and _The Brewton Beauty._

The ensign: "I heard about that back at Saufley. So she's the one? "

Ted: "She's the one."

The ensign: "I can understand why they were fighting over her."

Ted: "They weren't fighting over her. She had already chosen Bud and is his girl. She isn't interested in anyone else. I know them both very well. I was Bud's preflight classmate. I have even been to her house and met her parents. I have also been a guest on her father's boat. Captain Fields got in trouble because his inappropriate, lewd and unwelcome advances to her were not appreciated by anyone - much like yours have been."

The ensign: "I didn't know she had a boyfriend. Thanks for telling me."

When Bud arrived, he found her dressed _to the nines_ in a tight fitting red dress. Bud walked up to her and kissed her.

He said: "Miss, my name is Bud. How about I buy you dinner and then spend the night at your parent's place."

Ashley laughed: "OK!"

Bud: "See guys, how easy it is! All you have to do is ask! 'Faint heart never won fair lady!'"

Everybody laughed at that. Most of the guys with the exception of Bud's buddies drifted away. Bud had a few beers and chatted with his buddies and Ashley. Ashley and Bud then went and had diner.

Bud: "You look especially svelte, _chic_ and ravishing tonight, my love."

Ashley: "Before I thank you for what I think is a compliment, what does svelte mean?"

Bud: "Slinky, slim, and graceful!"

Ashley: "In that case, thanks!"

When they left the club, Bud asked her: "Should we take both cars?"

Ashley: "Let's just take my car. I'll bring you back on Sunday. You can drive."

While Bud was driving, he said: "I am so horny I don't think I can make it to Brewton."

Ashley: "Well, let's just see." She put her hand in Bud's crotch and started feeling him.

Bud: "You better not start something that you aren't prepared to finish."

Ashley: "I'm always prepared to finish you!" She unzipped Bud's fly and took out his penis.

Ashley: "I haven't had my dessert yet. Just don't get too carried away and run off the road!"

She first stroked Bud with her hand. She then stuck her head into his lap and began sucking him.

Just after Ashley had finished a rotating red light appeared in the rear view mirror just after they crossed he state- line into Alabama.

Bud: "Uh oh! We have company!" Bud pulled to the side of the road and quickly got himself back into his pants.

The policeman came up to the driver's window and said: "Driver's license and registration please." He then shined his flashlight into the car and on Ashley."

The cop: "Oh, hi Ashley. I didn't recognize the car."

Ashley: "Hi Officer Buckley. How is Mrs. Buckley and the boys?" Ashley had babysat the Buckley boys when she was in high school.

Officer Buckley: "Just fine. How are your mother and father doing?"

Ashley: "Great!"

Officer Buckley: "Are you the Navy pilot who crashed on the Williams' farm?"

Bud: "Yes sir."

Officer Buckley: "I don't live too far from the Williams. My sons and I enjoy your air shows! The reason I stopped you was because you were weaving on the road back there."

Bud: "Sorry about that. Miss Williams distracted me for a moment."

Officer Buckley laughed: "Well, I can understand how she could distract a young man like yourself. By the way, what kind of football team is Auburn going to have this year Ashley."

Ashley: "I don't know but I am going to be the lead majorette this fall."

Officer Buckley: "Congratulations. I'll look for you on TV. Well, you all be careful and have a good, safe evening."

After Buckley got back into his car, Bud said: "Officer, it was like this: I wove when Miss Williams sucked me off and my eyes rolled back into my head. It was all Miss Williams' fault!"

Ashley and Bud both laughed.

Ashley: "Bud, you are such a stitch!"

Ashley got into a giggling fit and could not stop.

Following basic instrument training, it is off to South Field and VT-3. The first phase at hand is radio instruments. This involves more instrument training with the addition of radio navigation aids and radar GCAs – Ground Controlled Approaches. Bud draws another good instructor – a furloughed United Airlines pilot who has returned to the Navy until the airline business improved. When the opportunity arises, Bud picked his instructor's brain about the airlines. The radio instrument training phase takes eight flights.

Bud had not forgotten about Fanny. After she graduated, Fanny and Bud rendezvoused in Montgomery for a weekend. Bud told Ashley he had to take a cross country flight and would be away for a couple of days.

It is now June and it is hotter than _a two-peckered billy goat in a forest fire_ at Whiting. The Navy is still using un-air conditioned wooden WW II BOQs for the officer students. The BOQs are Spartan to say the least. Two men to a room, with a wash basin, and a rotating fan over the door. Everybody sleeps in their undershorts only. Bud has never lived with air conditioning up to this time in his life – you don't miss what you have never had. Some more senior officer students bought window air conditioners, but most including Bud cannot afford this luxury. The toilets and showers are community affairs at the end of the hall. The standing joke is that the brig has better accommodations than student officer BOQs. Each floor does have a nice lounge with a TV and soft drink and beer machines. The beer machines are the same as the soft drink machines except you get a can of beer for 50 cents. Whiting is out in the middle of nowhere and Milton is not much of a party town. Most students drive to Pensacola for recreational activities (girls and drinking). Bud, on the other hand, spends as many nights as possible in the air-conditioned comfort of the Williams' home. Whiting has the best student officer's mess in the Training Command Bud has seen. At least once a week, steak or standing rib is served along with wine.

Meanwhile, the next training phase is formation flying most of which is solo but supervised by an instructor in another aircraft. Due to the prevailing wind, the runway to the northwest is usually the active runway at South Field. The departure procedure is to fly straight ahead to the main gate, then turn west, and fly down the access road that leads to the main highway – this is the procedure Bud observed when he first arrived. Bud considers this a thrill and license to buzz the main gate. So when taking off on this runway, he holds the aircraft down and flies over the main gate as low as he dares. Bud does this the whole time at South Field and never gets called on it.

Formation flying involves several maneuvers. The most difficult of which is _Break- Up- and- Rendezvous._ In a normal four-plane formation, three planes are positioned to the right of the leader and slightly behind each other. The aircraft then break-up – peel off to the left if you will. The leader then maintains a slight turn to the left while the remainder of the flight joins up on each other. Bud is not getting the picture and on the sixth flight is given an unsatisfactory grade – more commonly known as a _down_.

Bud's flight training jacket had been flagged. Bud is called in to see the squadron C.O. and asked if he felt like the down was justified. Bud indicated that he deserved it. The instructor was probably called in as well to explain his action in detail and see is he had anything against Bud or was a friend of Captain Fields. Everything is cool and Bud is awarded two additional training flights. The light finally comes on and Bud improves to the point that three flights later he receives an above-average grade on the _Break-Up-And- Rendezvous_. The instructor comments that those were the best he has seen by a student! A total of 17 flights are devoted to the formation phase.

The next phase is day and night navigation. The first flight is a little round-robin over Southern Alabama. On the second flight, Bud and several other students plus an instructor take a cross-country flight to the Naval Air Station at Jacksonville and back on a Saturday. Students take turns being the leader or lead pilot. It is Bud's turn as lead when the flight lands at Jacksonville. Bud lands long and on the left side of the runway as had previously been briefed. The following aircraft alternately land on the right and left sides of the runway. While Bud is rolling out long after landing, another student comes roaring past on his right – It's _War- Scare_ Stezzi! Stezzi forgot to put his flaps down and landed hot - no harm, no foul. It was a good thing there was no aircraft in front of Stezzi! This is the first time that the students have ever gotten to go somewhere and it becomes an altogether pleasant experience.

While having lunch in Jacksonville, Bud asked the instructor if he could leave the formation when they get back to Whiting. The instructor asked Bud what for? Bud said so he could fly over his girlfriend's house in Brewton.

Instructor who had seen Ashley at the O'Club asked: " _Would she be the Brewton Beauty_?"

Bud: "Yes sir."

The instructor said: "How could I refuse that request? Permission granted - you lucky dog!"

Finally, the students take a night round-robin flight. Everyone takes-off individually with a couple of minutes of separation and fly to about three or four navigation aids that lead back to Whiting. Instructors are orbiting over each nav aid and take the student's aircraft number as they pass the check points. After landing at Whiting, the students were told to wait for the instructor's debriefing. Bud and most of the other students wait and wait – it seemed like it took forever. Finally, the instructor who was at the end of the runway supervising the student's landings comes storming into the room.

He bellows: "Who was flying 582?"

A student meekly raises his hand.

The instructor: "If you didn't down that airplane for a hard landing, you better go and do so. You damn near broke off the end of the runway when you landed!"

The next morning, the maintenance crews discover that the aircraft rather than the runway is broken in half. The fuselage skin has a crack that begins behind the cockpit that runs down to a hairline crack at the rear of the wing – the aircraft is beyond repair and will have to be scrapped. The student had completely lost his depth perception in the dark. The instructor had given the student several wave offs before finally giving him clearance to land. Bud did not know the student in question and never learned the outcome of this incident.

For some time now, Bud had been agonizing over having to choose between Ashley and Fanny. Fanny is a harder worker and better cook than Ashley, who was born with a silver spoon in her mouth and is spoiled. Ashley's family liked him better than Fanny's. Bud gets along better with Ashley. Bud's and Fanny's relationship was always a little on the contentious side. Ashley is better in bed while Fanny is on the inhibited side. Ashley comes from money and would have a generous dowry. Ashley is better looking and has bigger tits – so what's to decide? Bud chose Ashley – the woman of his dreams! He wasn't about to burn his bridges between Fanny and him - yet.

By now, Bud has modified his flying aspirations in the Navy. He has decided to go for the transport pipeline in Advanced Training. The Navy has large transport squadrons that fly with the Air Force's Military Air Transport Service at McGuire AFB, New Jersey, Norfolk, Virginia, and San Francisco. Navy run transport squadrons are located in Hawaii and Rota, Spain. Small units that fly COD (Carrier Onboard Delivery) are located in Japan and Naples, Italy. The disadvantage of the transport pipeline is that it also produces pilots for the Navy's two radar barrier squadrons that fly the Lockheed Constellation. One squadron is not real bad duty since it is based in Hawaii and deploys to Midway Island. The second squadron is not so desirable. It is based in Argentia, Newfoundland and deploys to Iceland. Bud shares his plans with Ashley for the future. She said she would just love to live in San Francisco, Hawaii, Spain, or Italy and they talked about getting married. Bud told Ashley to decide where she wanted to live for three years! She decided on Italy, Spain, Hawaii, and San Francisco in that order.

On one Friday night, after Bud ejaculated for the first time in a week, Ashley said: "Bud, I felt that!"

A visual inspection of the condom confirmed the worst!

Bud: "Shit! The son-of-a-bitch burst! Quick! Stand up! That is supposed to help. Do you have a douche? That was a potent shot!"

Ashley: "No! My mother has one but I can't very well sneak and use hers – at least not at this hour."

Bud: "Then take a Coke douche!"

Bud had heard about this technique back at school and there were bottles of Coke in his kitchenette.

Ashley: "How do you do that?"

Bud: "Open a bottle of Coke, or anything that is carbonated, hold your finger over the opening, shake it up, and put the top of the bottle into your vagina. Remove your finger and the pressurized Coke should flush everything out! Do you want me to help you?"

Ashley: "No, I think I can manage by myself."

Bud: "Can I watch?"

Ashley: "If you want to."

Ashley sat down in the empty bath tub and only managed to get about one third of the Coke in.

Bud: "Let me help you out. Lay down in the tub and raise your legs like we are having sex."

Bud shook up the bottle and got the rest of it in. As he was inserting the top of the Coke bottle Bud recalled Coke's present slogan and laughingly said: "Things go better with Coke!"

Ashley: "I don't see anything the least bit amusing about any of this."

Bud: "Sorry Baby, I couldn't help myself."

Ashley: "And don't mention that word or even think about it."

Bud: "What word is that?"

Ashley: "Baby!"

Bud: "Sorry, I wasn't thinking."

Bud put another bottle of Coke in for good measure. Other than the circumstances, he was having a good time! Ashley noticed his erection.

Ashley: "How can you think about sex at a time like this?"

Bud: "It isn't very difficult looking at your magnificent naked body and after what I just did to you."

Ashley shook her head and laughed: "Men! Well, I guess we shouldn't let it go to waste and I don't want to give you another case of the _Blue Balls_! Get it up here and I'll take care of you."

Ashley must have read Bud's mind. Bud wouldn't have dared to ask her to. He was in more than enough trouble as it was. He put his legs in the tub and sat on the edge.

Before Ashley went to work she said: "Oh, the things I do for love!"

Bud laughs and thinks: _What a woman_!

When they had finished, Bud ran some warm water into the tub and lovingly washed Ashley as well as himself.

Ashley and Bud didn't know if their efforts did any good, but they were in a panic and would try anything! That episode sufficiently traumatized Ashley and Bud to the point that they swore off intercourse for the remainder of the weekend and pursued other sexual activity. Their resolve did not last long and by the next weekend, they were back at it but with Bud being considerably more gentle when using a condom. Even then with a condom on, Bud would not ejaculate into Ashley. The following week they were back to normal. They sweated bullets for a week or so, but Ashley came through and got her period on schedule. Bud would not have minded if Ashley had gotten pregnant and they had to get married anyway!

The final phase and the most fun at Whiting is gunnery training. This phase is rather short and consists of four practice flights and one live gunnery flight. The flight is led by an instructor who tows the target sleeve plus four students. One student is tasked to fly formation on the target sleeve to prevent any other airplanes from hitting the tow line en route to and from the gunnery range. Since all gunnery hops are flown over the Gulf of Mexico, students are required to wear a Mae West life preserver and carry a life raft in a seat pack. This is a lot of crap to be carrying and is hot work since it is July and the height of summer. On one particular flight, the students have all been assigned aircraft and proceed to their planes. During Bud's Preflight inspection, he discovers fuel dripping out of a drain mask that indicated a failed fuel pump. He has to trudge back to the maintenance shack in the heat with the life raft banging on the back of his legs and get another aircraft. By the time he gets back to his new airplane, the instructor has already started his engine and is giving Bud the hurry up sign. Bud is hot, sweaty, and exerted. After strapping on his seat belt and shoulder harness, he gets his engine started. All of a sudden, Bud feels a heavy pressure on his chest.

Bud initially panics: _Jesus, I am having a heart attack_!

He discovers that in his haste a CO2 toggle that inflates the Mae West got caught under his seat belt went off inflating the life preserver. Following the flight, he shares this incident with the rest of the students and the instructor giving everyone a good laugh. Bud shared this experience with the Williams too who also got a laugh!

Over the Gulf, students get on the perch – a loose formation above and abreast of the tow aircraft. The students then peel off and make a gunnery pass at the target. Following the pass, they then formed a perch of the opposite side of the tow aircraft and repeat the procedure in the opposite direction. The fifth flight is live firing. Two .50 machine guns in pods are mounted under the wings of the T-28. Each student has different colored bullets to indicate who hit the target. Bud does not see how he could possibly miss the target with two machine guns. After landing the students get the word that no one hit the sleeve! A short time later, gunnery training was abandoned at Whiting. There used to have a dive-bombing phase at Whiting, but that had been abandoned before Bud went through training.

Ashley and Bud were sitting in the Williams' living room looking at Ashley's photo album one Saturday night after returning from a movie in Brewton. The album contained family and school photos of Ashley that included several of her in her majorette's outfit.

Bud: "You sure look hot and stunning in those majorette outfits. Do you wear anything underneath them?"

Ashley: "No. Anything underneath would show. They are like a bathing suit with built in linings in the crotch and the breast areas."

Bud: "Do you have any of your outfits here?"

Ashley: "Yes, I still have my high school one."

Bud: "Does it still fit you?"

Ashley: "I'll have you know that I am the same perfect size 6 that I always have been."

Bud: "How about wearing it to my room tonight?"

Ashley: "OK! That sounds like fun! I'll have a surprise for you too!"

When Ashley came to Bud's room, she had on the outfit with a baton and had bright red lipstick and makeup on. As Bud sat on the edge of the bed, Ashley made several poses, high leg kicks, flourishes, baton twirls and finally ended with a leg split on the floor.

Bud clapped his hands quietly and said: "Bravo! That was wonderful! I have always wanted to make love to a girl in a majorette's outfit!"

Ashley: "Well sailor boy, this just might be your lucky night!"

Bud: "Come here, schoolgirl."

Bud took Ashley's baton and put it between her legs and slid it back and forth against her crotch. Ashley stood in front of Bud as he kissed her and ran his hands all over her body.

Bud: "I have this uncontrollable urge to stick something between those beautiful bright luscious red lips!"

Bud dropped his pants and Ashley knelt in front of him on the floor and took Bud into her mouth.

When she was finished, Bud helped her up. He unzipped the back of her outfit and pealed it off. Bud discovered that Ashley had shaved off her pubic hair.

Bud: "Wow! If it isn't a hairless Sphinx pussy! My first one!"

Ashley: "Surprise! I thought I might as well give you the complete show. We shave during football season – cannot have any hair sticking out during a performance. You like it sailor boy?"

Bud: "Me like it, It's a turn on!"

Bud leaned over, kissed, and moved his tongue around the Mound of Venus – the area just above the vagina. Ashley's was a little elevated.

Bud: "I can't believe nature covered this wonderful spot with hair! It is called the Mound of Venus."

Ashley: "Oh! I didn't know that. Tell me more!"

Bud: "Anyway, your little thing is my favorite thing in the whole world - hair or no hair. I am about to show you just how much I really love it!"

She lay on her back in the bed and Bud very lightly caressed her all over her naked body with one hand while fondling her vagina with the other hand.

Ashley: "That tickles but at the same time feels so good!"

He kissed, lightly bit, and sucked her nipples.

Bud said: "One good turn deserves another" and kissed his favorite spot on her lower abdomen. He then got between Ashley's legs. He sucked as much of her labia minora and clitoris as was possible into his mouth. Ashley gasped and dug her fingers into Bud's shoulders.

After they finished, a breathless Ashley said: "Holy Cow! Where did you learn or get the idea of sucking me into your mouth?"

Bud: "I just came up with it on my own – an inspiration! I am going to call it _The Oyster_. It reminds me of sucking an oyster off of a half-shell. That is also what they call that part of your vagina – it is supposed to resemble an oyster. Are my shoulders bleeding where you sunk your fingers into me?

Ashley laughed: "Sorry, but I didn't even realize what I was doing. I almost passed out when you did that! It felt like you had every nerve in my body in your mouth! And you aren't bleeding!"

Bud: "You're lucky I didn't bite down. Sometimes I can't get enough of you and get the urge to devour you."

Ashley: "How come you know so much about sex?"

Bud: "Although I flunked out of medical school, sex was my favorite and best subject!"

Ashley: "You're lying!"

Bud: "Actually, I am an amateur gynecologist."

Ashley laughed: "Well, let me give you some free advice Dr. Shuler. If you know what is good for you, you will limit your practice to one patient – me! I am never going to let you out of my sight again! I am going to keep you so drained that you are not going to want to even look at another woman! It is only fair to warn you that I'll cut your _Blue Bells_ off if I ever catch you with someone else!"

Bud: "You are the only woman I want! How would you like to be Mrs. Shuler?"

Ashley: "I'd like that very much!"

Bud: "I would buy you an engagement ring but I don't have the money to buy you the one I want now. It seems that I have this expensive girlfriend and spend all of my money on her! I am going to have to save up a while. Let's do it officially at Christmas."

Ashley: "Oh Bud!"

Bud: "I don't think we should get married as soon as you graduate. It would be better if you got a job where I am stationed and live independently for a while. That would be best in the long run. If I am stationed in Italy or Spain, you could probably get a job with the State Department with your father's connections."

Ashley: "That is probably a good idea. I don't know any girl who got married right out of college that is happy."

Ashley: "So we are engaged to be engaged?"

Bud: "Yes, but with a license to practice!"

Ashley gave Bud a big passionate kiss. All the talk about marriage fired them up and they went at it again - normal intercourse this time around.

Afterwards when they both were exhausted and ready to go to sleep, Bud said: "Do you think you ought to take off that makeup? It is going to be all over the pillows."

Ashley: "I always strip and wash your linen before Mom or the maid get to it and get rid of the evidence ASAP!"

Bud: "Good thinking! Attention to detail! I don't flush the condoms down your toilets but tie them in a knot and take them with me to dispose of elsewhere. I can just see you having a backup problem with your septic tank or toilet and your father discovering used condoms which he probably does not even use anymore."

During Bud's time at Whiting, four T-28s suffered engine failure. There was the aforementioned one where the student was killed. One occurred on a gunnery flight and the instructor ordered the student to bailout over the Gulf. Two others, one which was Bud's, were successfully landed with the gear up into farmers' fields. The normal procedure for recovering the aircraft was to send a flat-bed truck and a crane to the crash site. The wings were taken off of the fuselage and the aircraft loaded onto the truck. This was a time consuming and costly method. Someone came up with the idea of recovering the aircraft with a helicopter. The Navy reached an agreement with the Army at Ft. Rucker, Alabama, the Army's helicopter center. The Army sent its biggest helicopter to the crash site to helo-lift the aircraft to Whiting. It was a satisfactory arrangement for both services. The Navy saved money and the Army got experience lifting heavy objects. Bud flew over the recovery attempt which was the scene of his forced landing in front of the Williams' house. The helicopter was stirring up a gigantic cloud of dirt trying to lift the airplane out of the plowed field. It was just too hot that day. Bud is hoping the dust did not make it to the swimming pool. A day or so later with cooler temperatures, the helicopter managed to lift the load. On the way back to Whiting, one of the cables broke and the airplane tumbled into the backyard of a house. Fortunately, no one on the ground was killed. On the second occasion, the helicopter was en route to Whiting, when the load started swinging. Each swing caused the helicopter's rotor blades to lose lift resulting in the helicopter going into an uncontrollable descent. The load had to be dropped to prevent the helicopter from crashing. In spite of these two disappointments, the Navy was still happy with the Army and the arrangement continued.

Upon completion of basic training at Whiting, the student had several options for advanced training. There was advanced antisubmarine training in the Grumman S2F at New Iberia, Louisiana. He could be sent to Corpus Christi, Texas and be trained in the transport/radar early warning syllabus, the land-based or seaplane based patrol syllabus, or the Douglas A-1 Skyraider propeller attack syllabus. The final option and least desirable syllabus is helicopters at Pensacola's Ellyson Field.

A large percentage of Marine and Coast Guard students were sent to helicopters because of the large role helicopters play in those two service's aviation operations. Helicopters were not a very large part of the Navy. Hardly any of the Navy students wanted to fly helicopters and as a result, helicopter training was usually assigned to the students with the worst flight grades. The rub was that although helicopters were the hardest to learn to fly, they were assigned to the weakest students. Upon completion of T-28 training at Whiting, helicopter bound students obtained a fixed-wing instrument rating at Whiting in the SNB Twin-Beechcraft (C-45). Known as the "Secret Navy Bomber" or "The Bug Smasher," the SNB had been around since WW II.

An infamous incident out of Ellyson was making its rounds in the training command. A black student pilot was washed out of flight training. He claimed racial discrimination and Washington directed that he be put back into training. He was washed out the second time in helicopter training and once again he claimed racial discrimination. Word came from Washington to put him back into training. Finally, he killed himself, another student, and the instructor during a practice autorotation landing (a helicopter landing with an engine or tail rotor failure).

Bud has completed his training at Whiting. He decides that if by some chance he elects to remain in the Navy, he would like to be an instructor at Whiting in the T-28. Next stop is back to Saufley and carrier qualification in the T-28.

Four

All of Whiting's completed students who were not going to helicopters were sent to aircraft carrier qualification at Saufley Field in the T-28. Carrier qualification or CQ with VT-5 took about three weeks and 15 flights. The first two flights are with an instructor who demonstrates carrier approaches at Bronson Field, an old WW II field south of Saufley. The third flight was solo where the students were supposed to practice slow flight. Instead, Bud makes a beeline for Brewton and flies over the Williams' house – his first opportunity in some time. As Bud makes two low passes low over the Williams' house, he sees Ashley topless waving her bikini top at him on the second pass. Bud laughs! She must be alone at the house.

It is a longer drive to Brewton from Saufley, but Bud goes there just as often as he did from Whiting. The next weekend, Bud goes up to Brewton.

Bud: "Don Dobbins buzzed your house the other day and he said a topless woman waved to him by the pool. He thought it was you."

Ashley's hand goes to her mouth: "Oh my gosh! I thought that was you!"

Bud: "Don said he has seen bigger and better ones!"

Ashley: "What is he going to think? I will never be able to face him again!"

Bud couldn't keep a straight face any longer and laughed: "I was just kidding you. It was me, not Don. I enjoyed it and got a very big laugh out of it! I prefer seeing them a lot closer though – within reach!"

Ashley acted like she was a little mad: "You rat! That was mean! Just for that I am not going to come to your room tonight!"

Bud pulled Ashley to his body and whispered in her ear: "I'll do _The Oyster_ if you come." Ashley stiffened. She came to his room – earlier than usual!

The flying then shifts out to Barin Field, Foley, Alabama, 25 driving miles to the west. Barin was built during WW II and due to the numerous fatalities that occurred there in the North American SNJ (AT-6) it became known as _Bloody Barin_. Barin was closed in 1958 and in 1962 VT-5 utilized it as a day field. Several dozen T-28s are kept there for daily flying. Students are bussed or drive to Barin every day from Saufley. Operations are situated in the old fire engine building. The operation at Barin is very loose. The instructors, all LSOs (Landing Signal Officers), wear the standard uniform of T-shirts, Bermuda shorts, and baseball caps. Several dogs are present in the ready room. Box lunches are provided for sustenance.

Students hang around the ready room until called for their flight. A training flight numbers about six students who takeoff and immediately turn downwind into the traffic pattern – the landing gear isn't even raised. The drill is Field Carrier Landing Practice (FCLP) or Mirror Landing Practice. It is not like WW II flying when the LSO stood there at the end of the aircraft carrier directing the landing aircraft with paddles. A mirror landing system is utilized now with a mirror and light that create a visual glide path. The LSO adds instructions on the radio if needed. After about seven or eight FCLPs, the students make full stop landings and are debriefed by the LSO. A perfect pass is called an _OK Pass_. Bud is the best of his group and received several all _OKs_.

The student's idol is the senior officer at Barin, LCdr. Mills. On questionable weather days, Mills conducts a weather hop to check the height of the ceiling and see if it safe for the students. Mills then puts on an air show by buzzing the fire hall. A volleyball net is located in a field behind the fire hall. One day Mills dropped his tailhook and ripped out the volleyball net! The students are delighted! When VT-5's C.O. learns of this incident, he was not so pleased and chews Mills out. The destruction of government property will not be tolerated!

On the 13th flight, the students get ready to go out to the aircraft carrier and practice formation flying. The LSO picks Bud as the leader of his flight. The rest of the flight joins up on Bud and formation flying is practiced for the first time in a month or so and everyone is a little rusty.

When the flight gets back on the ground the number two man approaches Bud and says: "Did you see me join up on you?"

Bud replies in the negative.

"It's a good thing because you would have probably bailed out when I went by!"

On the next practice flight there is a midair collision. One student, a Preflight classmate of Bud's, hits another student's vertical stabilizer with his wing tip while joining up. Fortunately, both airplanes manage to land safely although the one aircraft had a pronounced dent in its vertical stabilizer. Bud's Preflight classmate, who had previous troubles in flight training, is washed out of flight training and becomes a navigator.

Bud is about to finish up his training in Pensacola. The Williams decide to give Bud a Farewell Party and tells him he can again invite 12 guests. Bud invites 12 of his friends who are CQ-ing the same time he is. He rules out inviting any of the guys who attended the first party who are still at Whiting. Although, Ashley has to be back at school a couple of weeks after Bud is scheduled to leave for Corpus Christi, Bud does not want to give any of the guys a remote chance to hit on her after he's gone. Therefore, he invites six new guys to the party. Bud has never seen six such grateful people in his life.

The following is the typical response from Bud's invitation: "Bud, thanks so much for inviting me. All I have heard for the last five months are the stories about _The Golden Goddess_ and her parent's place. I can't wait to see them both! "

The second party is just as good as the first one and all present had a grand time.

The big day finally arrives - carrier qualification on the USS _Antietam_ and the last flight in Pensacola in the T-28. It is one beautiful August 17, 1962 over the Gulf of Mexico – blue skies with little white clouds for contrast. At the ship, Bud makes two touch-and-go landings and six arrested landings to qualify. Following the arrested landing, the T-28 just takes off on its own power - no catapult is required.

Bud has completed his training in Pensacola. Bud hangs around with Ashley until two days before he has to report to Corpus Christi. Bud tells her that he will see her at Christmas. Ashley said that she would try to fly to Corpus Christi during her Thanksgiving break. Bud thanked the Williams for all of their kindness and generosity.

Bud shakes hands with Joe who says: "Good luck son. Come back and see us. You are welcome any time."

Bud hugs and kisses Ashley, Gracie, and Mrs. Williams, all who are in tears, goodbye and reluctantly hits the road for Corpus Christi. Bud felt like crying too! If Bud had his druthers, he would have stayed at Whiting with Ashley. Bud kissed Ashley goodbye a second time before he left and said that it was going to have to last him for a while. He had no idea at the time just how long that would turn out to be.

Five

It is about 15 hours of driving in the pre-Interstate days from Pensacola to Corpus Christi. Bud plans on doing it in two days. Bud initially intends on spending the night at England AFB, Alexandria, Louisiana. By the time he is approaching Natchez, Mississippi, he is dead tired and starts looking for a motel to spend the night. The first place he stops at tells him that there is a little league baseball tournament going on and there is not a room to be had in town, so he presses on for Alexandria. The direct route to Alexandria shows a 30-mile long unpaved road. The route on paved roads is 16 miles longer. Bud stops at a gas station for information. He is told the unpaved road is presently being paved but is drivable. Bud opts for the shorter unpaved route and embarks on one of the most bizarre and eerie drives in his life. The unpaved road runs alongside Lake Catahoula. Although unpaved, the road is in pretty good shape. Where it gets close to the lake, the road is covered with frogs. Buds hates it but pushes on wondering how many of the little amphibians he flattened that night. A little farther on, he encounters fog that has rolled in off the lake. He comes out of one fog bank and comes head to head with a cow standing right in the middle of the road. More frogs, more fog – there is not one other car on the road. Bud completes the 30 mile ordeal and thankfully reaches England AFB after midnight. He is given a wonderful air conditioned room.

The next day, Bud resumes the drive to Corpus Christi. This is all unexplored territory for Bud and he is taking everything in. Along the Texas coast, Bud stops for gas and takes a drink from the station's water fountain. The water tastes terrible and he asked the station's operator what is wrong with the water. He is told it's good water. The problem was that the water in this area has a very high sulfur content. The locals are used to it and don't know any different. Just outside of Corpus, Bud observes people picking cotton by hand. Bud had thought that went out with the Civil War.

At the Naval Air Station, Bud checks in to VT-28, the multiengine pipeline's transition squadron. The aircraft in use is the Grumman S2F Tracker, first introduced into the fleet in 1954. Bud does not take to the S2F – a.k.a. The _Stoof_ and the _S2._ Although it is powered by the same engine as the T-28 it is slow. The S2 has so much crap hanging off it, searchlight, radar dome, and an assortment of antennas, the students call it the _Flying Speedbrake_. In addition the cockpit is small and not very comfortable. Finally, the S2 also has pretty bad single engine performance. Rumor has it the aircraft was built shorter than it needed to be so it would fit on the elevator of an _Essex Class_ aircraft carrier. To help handle a single engine situation, the aircraft has a rudder boost which must be switched on if needed. The primary mission of the S2F is antisubmarine hunting. Transport (C-1) and airborne radar versions ( _Stoof with a Roof_ or WF-1) are also produced. The S2 is presently the Navy's carrier based antisub platform. At Corpus, they fly the first model of the airplane that has been re-designated the TS-2A.

At Corpus, Bud is reunited with several of his Preflight classmates. Somebody comes up with the idea to get a bachelor pad – also known in the Navy as a _Snake Ranch_. They luck out and find an apartment/maid's quarters that are attached to a millionaire builder's house about five miles south of the base near Waldron Field, an old WW II training field. The three bedroom, one bath apartment with a kitchen is air conditioned (which the BOQs aren't), has a TV, and sleeps four. The rent is about $100 a month. Why the millionaire rents it out is beyond Bud – it couldn't possibly be for the money. $100 is not much today, but Bud gets a paycheck twice a month. One is for $70 and the other is for $169. Room, board, car payment, are taken out before, but $239 a month isn't much for beer, gas, party money, and other necessities. Bud and his three buddies immediately become the envy of their student friends. The apartment becomes the students' party site. Guys are constantly bringing dates and groups of girls to the pad. Bud and his buddies hook up with a group of young divorcees who work at the car rental companies at the municipal airport.

One Saturday night, the snake ranch gets a call from one of their Preflight buddies. Larry Hanson has hooked up with a group of Army nurses at the Officer's Club who are vacationing in Corpus from Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio. He wants to bring them out to the snake ranch. The guys have nothing better to do so they tell him to bring them on. Hanson warned them that he had cut the best looking one out of the herd for himself. Well, the nurses get there and they are by and large a bunch of dogs. Bud and the other guys should have known better. Larry wasn't exactly an Adonis and was from Montana where he was probably used to screwing sheep. Years later, Bud met a guy who had been in the actual MASH unit during the Korean War on which the movie and television series had been based. The guy said that a lot of the things depicted in the movie actually happened. The glaring difference was that the ugliest nurse in the movie was better looking than the best looking nurse in the actual unit. Bud manages to get one of them into his room. He does a little necking with the girl but cannot get any further with her.

S2 training flights are usually conducted with an instructor and two students. Bud lucks out and is assigned to another good instructor, Lt. Pietrowski. Bud is paired with a foreign student – an Indonesian NAVCAD. Training flights last about 2.6 hours. One student flies for 1.3 hours and then swaps seats with the other student who also flies 1.3 hours. After seven flights, students are checked and approved for solo flight. Bud gets an unsatisfactory on single engine procedures and gets a down. Lt. Pietrowski is pissed off big time! Not only is Bud his best student but when a student fails the instructor feels that he did not do his job. Although Bud acknowledges that he deserved his first down in formation flying, he does not feel like he deserves this down. Pietrowski sums it up by stating that the other instructor was having a bad day. Bud gets one warmup flight and passes the next check ride. Following two solo flights with another student, it is on to instrument training.

On normal training flights with two students, the student flying first goes straight to the cockpit while the student flying second performs the exterior preflight inspection. One of the primary tasks during the inspection is to ensure that the engine oil filler caps are secure. On one particular cool and wet morning, Bud is performing the exterior preflight check. Since the wings of the aircraft are folded, Bud does not check the oil filler caps to avoid getting wet. Sure enough, just after takeoff oil is observed streaming down the side of the engine cowling.

Pietrowski spun around to Bud and angrily asks: "Did you check those filler caps?"

Bud lies: "Yes sir!"

Sure as shit, the one time Bud did not check the oil caps, one was not secure. Murphy's Law strikes again! You would have thought Bud would have learned his lesson by now – but obviously he hadn't.

Lt. Pietrowski then goes on in a very consolatory manner and relates that the same thing happened to him once. He checked the caps and one of the damn things still came off.

The Grim Reaper takes a little longer than normal following Bud to Corpus. Two students on a solo flight lose an engine after a touch and go. They failed to keep the airplane flying and stalled it. The aircraft flips over onto its back and crashes, killing both students. Bud knows one of the students – a NAVCAD. Bud learns that two solo students also lost an engine a year earlier. These two survived by keeping the aircraft flying and making a crash but controlled landing into the Mesquite shrubs.

In October, all students are glued to the television tube as the United States and Russia go through the Cuban Missile Crisis. This does not have much of an impact at Corpus and training continues as normal. Out at Kingsville and Beeville, the advanced jet training bases, the Navy arms the Grumman F11F Tiger fighters in use with Sidewinder missiles. These F11Fs stood alert for the Air Defense Command. This was the closest that the U.S. and Russia came to nuclear war. By the end of the month, the crisis is resolved as the Russian withdrew their missiles from Cuba.

Six

In late October, Bud gets a _Dear John_ from Ashley. Back at school, she has taken back up with her old boyfriend. Motherfucker! Bud cannot believe it and is heartbroken! What the hell! Bud rationalizes that all things happen for the best. Ashley's "I love you Bud" and "Yes, I will marry you" wasn't worth a fiddler's fuck! What a load of bullshit! As is the custom, Bud blacks out all of the names and pins the letter on the pilot's bulletin board. Although Ashley and Bud were _finis_ , Bud would maintain contact with Mr. and Mrs. Williams. He would call then at least once a year and always paid them a visit when in the Pensacola area.

Bud's roommates, who all knew Ashley and had gone to the Williams' parties, commiserated with Bud and also felt bad about the breakup. They wound up having a drunken wake where they discussed women, sex, marriage, and Ashley!

Bud: "Let's face it, she was out of my league. She had looks, class, and money. Things I have in short supply. My father was a truck driver for Christ's Sakes! We were peasants! I never understood what she ever saw in me in the first place! She was going to come down here for Thanksgiving. We were engaged to be engaged. I was going to give her a ring at Christmas."

Roommate Two: "Her parents were definitely high society and rich. Did they object to you?"

Bud: "Her parents were the most genuine and down-to-earth people you could hope to meet. I can tell you that the accident of birth meant nothing to them. They only cared what a person made of themselves – not where they came from. They treated me like a son. Being a college graduate and officer in the Navy is normally enough class for most people – it was for them. "

Roommate Three: "Who did she dump you for?"

Bud: "Her old Auburn boyfriend whose father owned one of the biggest construction companies in Montgomery."

Roommate One: "It's usually all about the money. Most things are."

Bud: "The funny thing is that I totally trusted her. I thought she was totally committed to me. More so than that other bitch I am involved with. I had no concerns whatsoever about her being back in school. What a fucking idiot I was! Not that I could have done anything about it anyway. I was totally and completely blindsided."

Roommate Two: "I'll never totally trust a fucking woman."

Bud: "I'll never trust anyone when it comes to sex – including you guys if it ever came down to that! Do you think I would trust either of you alone with Ashley somewhere? As a matter of fact, I wouldn't trust you alone in the same state with her? I'd trust you with my life before I would trust you with Ashley!"

Roommate One: "I'm shocked, shocked, that you would not trust me alone with Ashley! I admit I was in love with her, but she could come to me naked and I would turn her away because she was my dear old buddy's girl!"

Bud burst out laughing followed shortly by the other three guys.

Bud: "Right! I still believe in Santa Claus too! You would fuck her in a New York minute if you had the chance. I would do the same for you if the situation was reversed! I wouldn't even trust myself. Well, it could have been worse. I had a fraternity brother at school who was engaged to a girl back home. He called her one day and one of her parents said that she did not lived here anymore. Turns out that she got knocked up by someone else, ran off, and got married. It was so bad that even the other fraternity guys did not rag him about it."

Roommate Three: "What a pisser!"

Bud: "My old college roommate had a theory that you never get to marry who you want to marry. You naturally aim high above yourself and eventually things equal out. Of course, the woman of his dreams dumped him and he had to settle for something less. The theory also applies to females."

Roommate Two: "I have to agree with that because it happened to me."

Roommate One: "Me too."

Roommate Three: "Looks like I have something to look forward to."

Roommate Two: "Bud, were you fucking her?"

Bud just sat there blankly staring into space. He was not one to kiss and tell and never bragged about his conquests – as few as there were.

Roommate One: "Bud, you are not going to get out of here alive unless you tell us!"

Bud laughed and thought what the hell! None of them were likely to see Ashley again.

Bud: "Yeah I was fucking her. She was the hottest piece of ass I ever had too! Although she wasn't a cherry, I had to teach her how to kiss and suck dick. She took to it like a pro and was a swallower right from the git-go!"

Roommate Two: "You are shitting us now!"

Bud: "Swear to God that is true. It was just the natural thing for her to do! I hope that son-of-a-bitch she took up with appreciates how well I trained her."

Roommate Three: "No shit! I can just imagine a beauty like her sucking on a dick and gulping down a load!"

Bud: "I always remembered the advice of another guy from college. He told me: 'Never fuck a girl with your finger. She will never love your dick.' I learned that the hard way with my high school girlfriend. For several months, we just engaged in heavy petting - a lot of finger fucking. When I finally stuck my dick in her, she asked me if it was all the way in – and she was a cherry! Afterwards, she said she liked my finger better than my dick! I never made that mistake again."

Roommate One: "Which one is bigger, your finger or your dick?"

They all laughed.

Roommate Three: "Bud, there is something I always wondered about. She had that gorgeous combination of blond hair with brown eyes and brown eyebrows. So what color was her cunt hair?"

Bud: "Brown. Pubic hair is usually the same color as the eyebrows. Her pussy also had a real pungent scent that really turned me on. She shaved the hair off once for me!"

Roommate One: "No!"

Bud told them about the night Ashley showed up in his room with the majorette outfit on and that majorettes shave off their pussy hair.

Roommate Two: "I'll never be able to look at a majorette again without thinking about her bald pussy!"

Roommate One: "Me either!"

Roommate Three: "Me too!"

Bud also told them how Ashley would sneak into his room at night and about them having sex all over the Williams' farm.

Bud: "When we took out her old man's boat she would sunbath in the nude."

Roommate Two: "Now you are definitely shitting us!"

Bud: "No. Once we would get out of the close range of other boats and the shore, she would come out of the cabin nude and ask if I would rub her down with suntan lotion. She knew I liked to do it and it turned me on. I would shut off the boat's motor and take her into the cabin. I'd do her back and ass first and then turn her over. I can still see myself rubbing down those tits. Before long, I would be eating her fur burger! That is what she really liked. Sometimes we would go _69_. When we finished we would go skinny dipping."

The other three guys just sat there, wide eyed with their mouths hanging open, mentally visualizing Bud's tale.

Bud: "All the boat was to us was a floating bedroom where we could enjoy total privacy."

Roommate One: "Well, it is a fucking shame she ditched you. Don't forget Bud that there are 3 billion people in the world and over half of them are women. She is not the only fish in the sea."

Bud: "I'll never have another fish like her."

Roommate Three: "You never know."

Bud: " _It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all_ – is that it?"

Roommate Two: "That's the spirit! At least you got to fuck her - you and the rich fraternity boys from Auburn. Don't forget: _no matter how beautiful she is, someone is tired of fucking her_."

Bud: "I'd never get tired of fucking her! I think I will write a book about me and Ashley and call it _Paradise Lost_ – wait, that title has already been taken. Ha! Ha! Anyone need another beer?"

Texas at the time also had some goofy liquor laws. One can buy beer at the bars but no hard liquor. Hard liquor has to be brown-bagged to bars where they sell you ice and mixers. There is a loophole in the private clubs. One has to first buy a membership for a nominal fee for the privilege of buying hard liquor by the drink. These state laws do not apply to the officer clubs on a Federal reservation. There is an anecdote making its way around the Training Command. NAS Meridian, Mississippi, the basic jet training station, is located in a dry county. It seems that the idiot local yokel sheriff tried to raid the officer's club – on a Federal reservation! He did not get very far.

Strangely enough, Corpus has some of the worse fog Bud has ever seen. One Saturday night, he was out at a girl's house when the fog rolled in. It was so thick, visibility was about 20 feet. Bud makes it home by keeping his eye on the centerline of the road. During another week, fog totally closed down the airfield at night. In the morning, the sun heated up the ground and the fog moved out over the water. When the sun started going down, the fog began rolling in from the Gulf. You better be on the ground at this point or you would be spending the night somewhere else.

Bud completes the instrument training phase. Students who chose the VP (Patrol) pipeline are checked out in the land based P2V Neptune or the Martin P5M seaplane. To qualify as a Naval aviator, a certain number of flight hours are required. The Navy has to give the VR/VW students something to do, so they put them through the S2 carrier qualification program even though most of the students will be flying multiengine land based aircraft – go figure. At the end of November he has had 14 flights when Bud sprains his ankle running to the Officer's mess hall in the rain. The ankle is almost broken and it is put in a cast. Bud is medically grounded over a month.

The Navy uses pilots to navigate its multiengine aircraft. The Air Force used to do the same thing, but wisely concluded prior to WW II that using a highly trained pilot as a navigator was a waste of resources. The Air Force then established a dedicated navigator program. Twenty years later the Navy is still using the old ways but is beginning to produce more navigators. Nevertheless, all multiengine pilots still must be navigator qualified. Rather than sitting on his butt for a month doing nothing, Bud gets the two week navigation ground school out of the way.
Corpus takes two weeks leave over Christmas. Bud has met a student from Chattanooga so they take the 24-hour trip together and share the driving. Of course, Bud visits Fanny after dropping his buddy off in Chattanooga. Fanny has graduated and taken a job with the University of Tennessee Extension Service in Jacksboro, about 35 miles northwest of Knoxville. During their recent reunions, Fanny has initially been making life miserable for Bud, putting him through her version of the _Trials of Hercules._ She starts out by stating that it is all over and she does not love him anymore. Bud then begs and pleads until he completes Fanny's required amount of groveling. She then lets him back into her good graces. Bud spends Christmas in Baltimore and then visits Fanny again on the trip back to Corpus.

Bud is back flying on January 8. He is given seven warmup flights after not flying for a month and a half. The instrument training phase consisted of 25 flights and included night flying. Towards the end of the phase, students take a solo cross-country after they receive their instrument rating. Bud chooses to fly to the Naval Air Station in Memphis and finds a Navcad who also wants to go to Memphis. Favorable tailwinds allow Bud to make Memphis non-stop. Half way there, Air Traffic Control gives them a frequency change. There is no response on the new frequency. They return to the previous frequency and also get no response. After about 30 minutes, they finally get in touch with Memphis Center. Bud has several fraternity brothers in medical school at Memphis so they party Saturday night. On Saturday night a cold front comes through Memphis and it is about 10 degrees Sunday morning as Bud prepares to fly back to Corpus. It is so cold the engines will not start. Also at Memphis is a reserve S2F from Chicago or Detroit. A reserve commander is desperate to get back and manages to get one engine started but not the second. He comes up with a harebrained scheme of wind milling start of the second engine in a high speed taxi – bad idea.

As they taxi out, a wise grizzly old Chief Petty Officer says to Bud: "Mr. Shuler, why don't you get the commander to tow your plane behind his to get your engines started too."

Bud laughs. They don't get far. The S2F does not have nose wheel steering or the world's best brakes. In a short distance the brakes fade and the S2F does a 360 degree turn on the taxiway. The engines are shut down and the aircraft towed to a parking spot.

The next morning is not as cold, so Bud gets the engines started and they depart. When the next radio frequently change just after takeoff does not work, Bud says the hell with it and returns to Memphis. Maintenance fixes the radio and they depart several hours later. Due to headwinds, a refueling stop at New Iberia, the Navy's advanced training location for antisub flying, is necessary. While filing the flight plan for Corpus, the operations officer reminds Bud that students are not allowed to depart at night from anywhere but their home field. Bud rushes out to the airplane. While checking the oil caps, Bud drops his tool used to open the hatch into the engine compartment. Maintenance has to remove the cowling to allow Bud to recover his item which further delays the flight. It is just about dark when they finally takeoff for Corpus. As luck would have it, Houston Center gives Bud a holding pattern at Sabine Pass because of traffic. The Navcad is flying in the clouds and loses 1000 ft. of altitude entering the holding pattern. With Bud's help control is regained and they return to their assigned altitude. They finally make it back to Corpus. The cockpit of the airplane is littered with charts, approach plates, and the remains of box lunches – what a mess. You couldn't find what you were looking for if you wanted to!

With Ashley gone and a future with Fanny in doubt, Bud changed his _Wish List_ – which duty station he wanted to go after receiving his wings. He chose the Navy squadrons that were flying with the Air Force's MATS. At least he would be flying the biggest aircraft the Navy operated. Bud requested McGuire and Norfolk first and second. Besides flying to Europe he would also be close to home in Baltimore. Since Bud's sprained ankle had extended his flight training, he had already received his orders to his first choice – VR-3 at McGuire AFB, N.J. Contrary to popular belief, the Navy really tried to give pilots the assignment they wanted. As luck would have it, when Bud was scheduled to get his wings there was a shortage of antisubmarine slots in the fleet for students graduating from New Iberia. Since those students had requested antisubmarine assignments and none were available, some received orders to what was left over and no one wanted – Argentia, Newfoundland. _War-Scare_ Stezzi was one of the unlucky pilots who got sent to Argentia.

The Training Command has a new aircraft carrier, the _USS Lexington_. The _Lexington_ arrives from Pensacola on January 23 along with a cold front. It is extremely windy as the S2Fs head out to the carrier. Carrier landing in an S2F is a little touchy so all students have an instructor in the right seat. About 30 knots of wind over the deck is required to conduct carrier operations. When they arrive at the _Lex_ , she is sitting dead in the water – they already have the required 30 knots of wind and then some. The procedure is to get set up in a race track shaped pattern and turn base leg when you pass the stern of the ship. The wind is so strong the traffic pattern is spread out all over the entire Gulf of Mexico. The instructor makes the first two landings to show the student how it is supposed to be done. Then it is Buds turn. To straighten up the traffic pattern, the aircraft start turn base leg before they even get to the front of the ship. It is very turbulent approaching the ship. The LSO wants Bud to make a "no-cut" or power- on approach until touchdown. Bud is not getting the picture and as he gets close to touchdown holds the aircraft off that results in a go-around. The same thing happens the second time. The instructor copilot is no help at all and is useless as tits on a boar hog. Bud finally gets the picture and the third and subsequent landings are successful. Launching the S-2 from the _Lex_ did not require a catapult at the light training flight weights.

Once the qualification is complete, the aircraft proceed back to Corpus individually. One of Bud's roommates is on the same flight. He blows a tire on landing and winds up having lunch on the _Lex_ while the tire is being changed. As Bud is securing the aircraft back at Corpus, a training jet makes an emergency landing at Corpus and goes off the runway after damaging his landing gear landing on the carrier. Bud is slightly shaken. He has already received his orders to VR-3 at McGuire AFB, New Jersey and is glad that he will not have to make any more carrier landings. The local TV station does a segment about the carrier that night on the evening news. They announce that the Admiral said that if the wind had been any stronger, it would have been unsafe for student aviators. Bud thinks: _No shit!_ FDR who said: "There is nothing to fear but fear itself," never had to land on an aircraft carrier – especially at night!

Navigation flight training is conducted by VT-29 with the Douglas R4D (DC-3) and former Air Force T-29s (Convair 340). These aircraft have navigation stations for about 10 students. Nav training consists of 11 flights and takes about three weeks. The weather gets foul in Corpus during February so Bud and ten other students are flown out to San Francisco to fly several training flights from there as well as Yuma, Arizona. Bud especially liked San Francisco and the students went into town several times while there. Navigation training can be a hoot. The standing joke is about the lost Indian tribe called the Fagawees.

After a day of wandering, all the members of the tribe would stand on a hill and chant: "We're the Fagawee." (Where the fuck are we?)

On the way back from San Francisco, the student acting as the lead navigator gives the wrong heading to the pilot. After a couple of hours, the aircraft is over a large city – they aren't supposed to be over a large city!

Ten students are peering out of the aircraft windows and chanting in unison: "We're the Fagawee."

They finally figure out that it is San Antonio and a course is recalculated for Corpus. When they get back to Corpus one of the students suggests having a party to celebrate completing training.

The instructor chimes in with: "You guys couldn't have a party, you couldn't find your way to it!"

Bud laughed. _Well, they couldn't have been that bad since everyone wound up passing the course_.

Just as Bud is about to finish up training, he gets a hot hand with the ladies and scores on two successive weekends. Why are things always best when you are about to leave a place?

Seven

Bud completes his training and receives his wings on February 28, 1963. Bud is quite self-satisfied and brimming with confidence. He has become what many aspire to be but few achieve. Bud loves flying and is very good at it. He heads out for McGuire with a stop to see Fanny. He is fed up with her BS and is determined to have it out with her – one way or the other. He has played the love sick schoolboy for the last time.

When Bud arrives at Fanny's apartment, the first words out of his mouth are: "What is it going to be this time? I don't love you anymore or it's over."

Fanny: "I mean it this time."

Bud: "Fine! How about fixing me something to eat. I'm starved."

During the meal, Bud makes no more mention about their relationship. After the meal, Bud thanks her and says that he will be going.

Fanny is startled and asks: "Where are you going?"

Bud says that he obviously has not thought much about it, but will probably spend a day or two in Knoxville. He leaves with not so much as a kiss on the cheek.

Bud goes to his old fraternity house and finds a stag party in progress. He spends a very enjoyable evening watching porno films and drinking beer. They find him a bed for the night. The next day, Bud called the Williams to get Ashley's phone number, but is told she is engaged. Bud then calls up an old girlfriend who is now a senior. They have a very cordial conversation but it turns out that she is also engaged. Bud considers getting in touch with Gracie Williams, a freshman at Auburn. There is only four years difference in their ages and he knows she has the hots for him. The thought of him and Gracie gave Bud a laugh. Ashley would probably have a hemorrhage! Well, that would serve her right! He put that thought on the back burner for the time being. Bud then calls one of Fanny's friends who he is on good terms with and tells her of the situation. The friend acts as mediator between Fanny and Bud. The next day, Bud puts on his Navy blues and goes to see Fanny at work at the county court house.

It is one of the great imponderables in the Navy that the blue dress uniforms are in fact black. Bud looks spectacular - black double breasted coat with gold buttons down the front, gold braid on the sleeves, gold wings on the chest, and white hat trimmed in gold. All the women at the courthouse are in a buzz over Bud and hover around him like a bunch of hens over a freshly hatched chick. Well, that did it. Fanny and Bud take back up like nothing ever happened. She would never act like that again. Was it the uniform or his refusal to grovel again? Maybe she needed to be challenged. Who knows what evil lurks in the mind of a woman \- certainly not Bud or any other man for that matter. Maybe _The Shadow_ knows!

A week or so later, Bud checks into VR-3 at McGuire. The training officer tells Bud that they are transitioning to the C-130 in about nine months and that they will check him out in the C-118(DC-6) locally. The next day, Bud is told that the plan has changed and that he will be going to the C-118 school at Tinker AFB, Oklahoma. Bud gets the idea that the Navy's right hand does not know what the left one is doing. So instead of driving 600 miles from Corpus to Oklahoma City, Bud drives 1800 miles from Corpus to McGuire and then 1400 miles back to Oklahoma City. The bright side of this is that Bud will get to see Fanny again on his way to and from Tinker.

Eight

Tinker AFB is located in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. On one side of the base is a large maintenance facility that overhauls Air Force aircraft including the B-52. On the other side of the base, are the schools for the C-118 and the C-124 Globemaster. The Douglas C-118 Liftmaster (the Navy's R6D) is the military equivalent of the airlines' DC-6. It is an upgrade of the WW II C-54 and novices have difficulty telling the two aircraft apart. The C-118 is powered by four Pratt and Whitney R-2800s – the same engine that powered the P-47, the Corsair, and the Hellcat. Unlike the C-54, the C-118 is pressurized, has an electric autopilot, radar, and reversible propellers that aid braking on landing.

The C-118 school starts off with a couple of weeks of ground school in which the student pilots literarily learn how to build the aircraft. The internal working of the various systems such as the carburetors and propellers are gone into in great detail. Why this is done, no one knows. Bud supposes because this is the way it has always been done. After all, if something is not working properly, there is nothing the pilot can do about it except call a mechanic.

Bud's class is composed mostly of Air Forces types so that is who Bud socializes with. Several are furloughed airline pilots so Bud gets a good education about the airlines – what are the good airlines, what are the bad ones, what does the job entail and so on. Most of the guys are married. Tinker's Officer's Club is a real lively place and on Friday and Saturday nights local women are invited to come. A lot of the guys wind up hooking up with local girls most of whom are divorced. Bud becomes good friends with Walt Keyes, a furloughed United pilot whose room is across the hall from Bud's. Walt returned to the Air Force until United recalled him. Walt, with a wife and family back at McGuire, hooks up with a local divorcee named Sheila, who is living at her parent's house with her two kids. Walt never tells Sheila that he is married. Bud, Walt and Sheila along with some of the other guys would often go out to eat and party together. Sheila's parents have a ski boat and take them all water skiing one weekend at a local lake. At Tinker, Bud seriously takes up the game of golf. A lot of the guys are golfers, so at every opportunity, they all hit the base golf course.

The next phase following ground school is the simulator. This is one of the first simulators. It is an exact model of the C-118 cockpit but sitting on the floor in the middle of a room. It is an excellent training device and the instruments works just like the aircraft's. Various malfunctions and emergencies can also be simulated. Unlike modern simulators, it does not have any motion or a visual system. When the instructor wants you to land, a bright light appears behind the windshield. Bud was flying during one session when his airspeed began to drop. Bud added more power but the airspeed continued to drop. Bud finally calls for climb power, then METO power (maximum continuous) and finally takeoff power as the airspeed continues to drop. Meanwhile, the copilot's airspeed is climbing and finally is going off the scale. Bud has made the old C-118 into a rocket ship. Unfortunately Bud's flying partner can't see the forest for the trees and does not notice his airspeed increasing as Bud is frantically trying to keep the airplane in the air. With a laugh, the instructor finally ends the problem. He has failed the heat on Bud's airspeed pitot tube that simulates the tube icing up.

One thing Oklahoma has is some of the world's most severe weather. Oklahoma has more tornadoes than any other state. Bud spots a Volkswagen in a Tinker parking lot that got in a severe hail storm. It looks like someone took a ball peen hammer and whacked the car on every horizontal service. Sheila's parents said roof insurance is so prohibitively expensive that they can't afford it. It is cheaper to just go and put on a new roof when they get hit. During one stormy afternoon, Bud walks to the parking lot and sees a funnel shaped cloud descend out of the overcast. Fortunately, it does not touch down. Another thing Oklahoma has is goofy liquor laws like Texas. One has to brown bag liquor to a bar; however, one cannot pour it oneself like in Texas. The bottle must be given to a bartender who puts your name on it and pours it for you. When exiting the bar, the bottle is reclaimed. Oklahoma also has private clubs which must be joined for a nominal fee to buy liquor by the drink.

The flight training phase numbers 14 flights. Bud finds the C-118 an easy airplane to fly. On one flight, the instructor took the airplane to the B-52 base at Clinton-Sherman, Oklahoma to shoot approaches and landings. After one full stop landing and taxiing back for takeoff, Bud observes a hydrogen bomb being unloaded from a B-52. This is pretty exciting because in those days what a hydrogen bomb even looked like was still top-secret.

Being an experienced pilot, Walt finishes up his training first and then heads back to McGuire. Bud gets a call shortly thereafter from Sheila. It seems that her father has a friend on the base and they found out that Walt is married. Sheila asks Bud why he didn't tell her. Bud told her that he did not approve of Walt lying to her but that he could not rat on one of his best friends. He then asked her if she would rat on one of her best friends. She concedes that she probably would not. She finally got around to why she called in the first place and asks Bud to take her out. The fact is, Sheila never appealed to Bud – she is just not his type and reminded him of _trailer trash,_ so he turns her down. She indignantly calls Bud a chicken! Bud laughs! He finishes up at Tinker and gets to see Fanny on his way back to McGuire.

Nine

Meanwhile, after one and a half years as an ensign, Bud is promoted to lieutenant-junior grade, the Navy equivalent of first lieutenant. After almost two years of training; Bud flies his first operational mission on June 20, 1963, from McGuire to Shaw AFB, S.C. to Cannon AFB, N.M., and back to McGuire. VR-3, in the C-118 days, was arguably one of the best flying duties in the Navy. VR-3 was a unit of the Military Air Transport Service (MATS). Up to 1948, the Navy and the Air Force operated their own separate transport services. In a cost saving effort, the two transport services were combined to eliminate flight duplication. The Navy's contribution to MATS consisted of VR-3 at McGuire, VR-22 at Norfolk, and VR-7 at Moffett Field in California. The primary job of VR-3 was the transportation of personnel and dependants to and from Europe. The squadron was run like an airline. Crews generally flew four times a month. A typical flight would take a day to fly to Frankfurt, Germany with refueling stops at Harmon AFB, Newfoundland and Prestwick, Scotland; one day of rest in Frankfort; and a day to return to McGuire via Prestwick and Harmon. Additional European destinations were Mildenhall, England, Paris, Madrid, and Keflavik, Iceland. A separate Navy squadron and later the Air Force performed all maintenance functions. A pilot did not have to have a collateral duty (an office job) unless he planned on making the Navy a career and chose to.

On June 12, Bud is assigned a flight to Yarmouth, Nova Scotia. The cargo consists of a pallet of high explosives for a joint Canadian/U.S. naval exercise. The aircraft commander is a laid-off TWA pilot, Don Murdoch. Because of the dangerous cargo, the aircraft is parked at a remote area at McGuire. After the briefing and flight planning, Bud and Murdoch are driven out to the airplane. Bud looks the cargo over as Murdoch makes his way to the cockpit. Bud turns toward the cockpit and stops dead in his tracks in a state of shock – Murdoch is getting into the right seat and is going to let Bud fly the airplane! The flight up to Yarmouth takes about 2.5 hours. Since this is only Bud's third flight in the squadron, he has not made too many flying decisions. Murdoch is about to teach Bud a lesson. As they approach Yarmouth, Bud asks Murdoch if it is about time to descend.

Murdoch responds: "You're flying the airplane!" After Bud makes a very good landing, the tower informs the flight that it was too heavy for that particular runway. Murdoch responds to the tower: "The landing was a greaser!"

Murdoch, a bachelor, was one of the great characters of VR-3. He was one of the squadron's best pilots and did not get along very well with the squadron's senior officers who were constantly on his case. He knew the aircraft manual backwards and forwards. One of his TWA buddies said that dinner for him consisted of a quart of whiskey, a few Slim Jims, and cigarettes while he studied the aircraft manual. Sometime later, Murdoch flew the C-130 nonstop from Hawaii to McGuire. A couple of the aforementioned senior officers met the flight and dipped the aircraft's fuel tanks in an attempt to catch him without legal reserve fuel. He had the required fuel!

On June 16, Bud flies his first flight to Europe. The aircraft commander is a former enlisted pilot (known as a _Mustang_ ), now a lieutenant, nicknamed _Wheels up, heels up, Harris._ Harris considers himself a takeoff and landing expert – the rest of the time he is generally in the bunk. During the stop in Harmon, Newfoundland, Harris buys several bottles of liquor. Liquor sold on military installations outside the U.S. is ridiculously cheap without any taxes. A fifth of Canadian Club whiskey costs $1.75. Crews at that time are allowed to bring back one gallon a month. After another refueling stop in Prestwick, Scotland, the flight finally arrives in Frankfort early in the morning after flying all night. Harris invites all the officers on the crew to his room at the BOQ for a drink. After one drink, Bud retreats to his room and goes to sleep. Bud wakes up around three in the afternoon and looks out the window of his room. He observes Harris and the first pilot (1P) walking down the street. An Air Force Air Police car pulls up next to Harris and the policemen engage Harris in a conversation. The next thing Bud sees is Harris urinating on the side of the police car. Harris and the 1P are put in the back seat of the police car and driven away.

The flight's navigator earlier had offered to show Bud the sites in downtown Frankfurt after dinner. The Officer's Club at Rhein-Main had an excellent restaurant. During a dinner of the Club's specialty, Chateaubriand with Béarnaise sauce, Bud is also introduced to Löwenbräu beer which becomes one of his favorites. After dinner, Bud and the navigator head downtown. They visit most of the popular night sites and get hustled by the ladies of the evening. After several hours of reveling, Bud hails a cab and heads back to the base. As the cab pulls away, he notices the navigator on his hands and knees on the sidewalk. The next morning, Bud calls operations and is told the flight has been cancelled since the Aircraft Commander is in jail. Bud eventually makes it back to McGuire. When Harris makes it back to McGuire, he discovers he has made his last flight. He is forced into retirement.

The previous anecdote is indicative of some of the type of people that were in Navy transports (VR). It was a dead end assignment and not conducive to high achievement in the U.S. Navy. Nobody who spent his career in VR would make admiral or become the Chief of Naval Operations. Many of the career officers in VR were putting in their time to get twenty years of service and retire. Others were laid off airline pilots earning a living until they were recalled by their airlines. All the young pilots were doing was getting enough experience to get hired by the airlines. Although some of the former enlisted pilots were excellent pilots and officers – too many were not. Alcoholism was very common. It would be safe to say, the average career VR pilot at that time had a somewhat lower character than the average Naval officer.

Flight operations were like an airline with the pilots flying in uniforms rather than flight suits. Once overwater, only one pilot was required at the controls. Since the flights also carried a radioman, very little work was required by the pilot except to monitor the flight instruments. In the large cockpit was a three-tiered bunk bed made up with sheets. Bud's next Frankfurt flight was entirely different. Bud could not have had a better aircraft commander (A/C) – Manny Ritter. Ritter's father was a WW I German pilot and Manny spoke fluent German. The usual round of the nightclubs and flirting with the ladies ensued. A few of the guys were known to engage one of the ladies for the evening. One guy woke up to discover that the girl and his wallet were gone. This resulted in him having to give the taxi driver his watch to get back to the base. Much later in the evening, between bars, the crew stops for one of Frankfurt's great treats at a stack stand - a browned bratwurst with a dab of mustard, a hard roll, and a beer – _Wunderbar_! It is about three in the morning before the crew heads back to the base – it is already beginning to get light.

After refueling in Prestwick, the flight heads for Newfoundland. Bud mans the left seat on route to Harmon once the aircraft is at cruising altitude. It is pretty easy duty. Only one pilot was required at the controls over the water. All Bud had to do was make sure the autopilot maintained the assigned altitude and the navigator's heading. He didn't even have to talk on the radios – the C-118 carried a radio operator. All Bud had to do was compile the meteorological conditions when a position report was required. The flight has been in the clear until Bud notices a cloud bank ahead. The aircraft enters the clouds and in a few moments an inch of ice builds up on the windshield. Bud frantically turned on the wing anti-icing while the flight engineer applied carburetor heat. Fortunately, the engines keep running with not so much as a hiccup. Another lesson learned!

Ten

Flying the North Atlantic, which can have some of the world's worst flying weather, could be a real adventure in the piston-engine days. On one occasion, Bud was at the controls eastbound over Newfoundland from Harmon. Strong westerly winds created a mountain wave situation over Newfoundland's high hills. The aircraft was on airspeed with climb power set on the engines and in a descent due to the descending air mass – there was nothing to be done. After descending several hundred feet, the aircraft finally flew out of the air mass and resumed climbing. The flights operated usually between six and ten thousand feet which was usually in the clouds. When in the clouds, celestial navigation is impossible. Electronic navigation aids such as Loran could also be unreliable. The worst place was the Azores. When flying eastbound to the Azores, the goal was to find the Flores radio beacon which was located at the westernmost island. During the height of the Cold War, Russian trawlers were known to broadcast on the Flores frequency several hundred miles north or south of the actual position. There were stories of aircraft arriving where the navigator thought Flores was located and have to go on a square search until they picked it up. A square search is an ever increasing square flight pattern. Amelia Earhart may have used this technique attempting to find Howland Island. Hopefully, one finds what one is looking for before running out of fuel!

Back at McGuire, one of Bud's buddies buys a house in Levittown, New Jersey. The cookie-cutter development is inhabited mostly by young married couples. The bachelors fit in there like round pegs in a square hole. It is a pretty boring bachelor pad! Single women in Levittown were as rare as hen's teeth. Bud gets along very well with one of his roomies but has a personality conflict with the other, a washed-out pilot who became a navigator. Bud considers the navigator a real phony who drives around all year with a ski rack on his car although he rarely goes skiing. The navigator is also anal retentive and ironed his bed sheets! What normal bachelor or anyone else for that matter would iron his sheets? Bud never knew anyone else who ironed his sheets – man or woman! The defense rests!

After a while, Fanny comes for a visit. Bud is scheduled to attend C-130 school at Sewart AFB, Smyrna, Tennessee in January. In Tennessee, Fanny lives in a one-bedroom apartment on the second floor of a home belonging to a middle-aged couple. For appearance sake, Bud could not be seen spending the night with Fanny. So they played out this charade, where they would park Bud's car somewhere in town and then sneak into the apartment together to spend the night. The landlords downstairs probably knew what was going on, but appearances were preserved! Bud suggests that Fanny and he should get married after Bud completes his training. Fanny responds that maybe they should get married before Bud starts training so Bud would not have to worry about where he stayed while visiting from Sewart. Bud offered to buy her an engagement ring but the ever practical Fanny said she would rather have the money to buy a sewing machine.

Another duty crewmembers had to perform was standing alert for a 24-hour period. This involved having a bag packed and being prepared to report within an hour for a mission.

One of the squadron's pilots was a furloughed TWA pilot who lived in New York. Some of the senior officers in the squadron were always on his case, just like they were on Murdoch's. They did not like him living in New York and one day decided to see if he could report in one hour and a half. So they called him and alerted him for a mission. The resourceful pilot hired a light aircraft that flew him to McGuire. When he arrived a senior officer had him open his suitcase – there was nothing in it! As one senior officer started to admonish him for having nothing in his bag, some sanity finally prevailed. A more senior officer said that if he chose to take a trip without any clothes that was his business and that was the end of it.

Bud was standing alert one day and was called out for a trip. The mission was to look for a C-133 from Dover AFB that had disappeared off the coast.

The aircraft commander on the flight was a Lt. and on his first tour of duty. The Lt. asked Bud how many holes there were on the windshield anti-icing tube. The system was similar to the windshield washing device on your car. The system on the aircraft was a tube about the diameter of a large pencil, with holes, from which alcohol was sprayed to remove ice from the windshield for pilot landing visibility.

Bud: "Beats the shit out of me. Is that fact in the aircraft manual? Is it an important thing to know?"

No answer. The question was a petty harassment game that some pilots were involved in to know more obscure facts than the next guy. If the fact was not in the manual, a pilot could not be held responsible for knowing it.

After flying around over the Atlantic Ocean at a low altitude for several hours, Bud's flight saw no trace of the C-133.

The Douglas C-133 Cargomaster was a large turboprop aircraft designed specifically to carry ballistic missiles. Only a total of 50 were built and they were based at the MATS' fields at Dover, Delaware and Travis AFB, California. The rub is that 10 of the C-133s, or 20% of the fleet, were destroyed in crashes and other causes. Six of the crashes, some mysterious and unexplained, were incurred by the 1607th Air Transport Wing from Dover AFB. The Air Force had a real morale problem on its hands as many crewmembers turned in their wings rather than to have to fly this bad-luck bird. The surviving C-133s remained in the Air Force inventory until 1971.

Bud had a fraternity brother at Dover flying C-133s. He was married to his college sweetheart and they had a young baby. Bud knew Dan and Daphne Shirley quite well and he and Fanny had double-dated with them at school. Daphne was a Volunteer Beauty, the sweetheart of Dan's Air Force ROTC unit, and an _A.D. Pi._

Bud's aircraft had a mechanical problem after a stop at Dover requiring him to spend the night. He called Dan hoping they could get together for dinner. Daphne answered the phone and told Bud that Dan was out on a trip; nevertheless, she said she could use some company and invited Bud to their off-base apartment for dinner. Bud picked up a couple bottles of wine and took a cab to their apartment. Daphne was putting the baby, a six-month old girl name Caroline, to bed for the night when Bud arrived. Bud held the baby for a while. They had a very pleasant dinner and Bud told her that Fanny and he were engaged to be married in January. After Bud helped her clean up the kitchen, they retired to the living room where Bud sat in a chair and Daphne on the couch.

Daphne: "Thanks for helping me clean up. Dan never gives me a hand. He treats me like a scullery maid. I am not happy. My first mistake was getting married right after graduation. After going through the four year grind of college, I immediately jumped from the frying pan into the fire and took on the commitment of marriage. My second mistake was having a baby so soon. Just when you and your husband are getting to know each other and used to living together, there is another person in your life. Worst of all, caring for a baby is a 24-hour a day job and leaves little time for trying to keep a husband happy. You and Fanny are doing the right thing. She is working for a year, being independent and responsible for herself. She is enjoying herself, making her own decisions, and making and spending her own money. She is doing what she wants to do for the first time in her life. You get to learn a lot about yourself and have time to discover if you are really ready for marriage and the responsibility of a family. I hate this place and I hate Dan! Dover is the pits and out in the middle of nowhere. I don't know what his problem is – whether it is me or the Air Force and I don't care. All I know is that I have had it and want out! That son-of-a-bitch is cheating on me and doesn't even care that I know about it. I am bound and determined to get even with him."

Bud: "I am really sorry to hear that. I always admired you and thought you were the prettiest of the Vol Beauties. I couldn't help envying Dan. You are too beautiful, too nice of a person, and have too pretty of a baby to be unhappy. I think Dan should get his ass kicked for treating you so badly! You deserve better!"

Daphne: "I have no one to blame but myself."

After a few moments of mutual silence, Daphne said: "Bud, would you like to go to bed with me?"

Bud's head jerked back like he had just been slapped. He is stunned and wonders if he heard what he just thought he heard. Bud would never have considered hitting on Daphne. After a moment or two, Bud concluded that there was nothing wrong with his hearing. Without saying a word, he got up and sat to the left of Daphne on the couch and kissed her. After kissing for a while, Daphne leaned back across Bud's lap and they embraced. This was Bud's favorite make-out position because it put all of the female's jewels within easy reach. Bud unbuttoned her blouse and fondled her breast. He reached behind her back with one hand and miraculously managed to undo the catch on her bra with one hand, freeing those sweet peaches. Bud was real proud of himself and felt like a regular Houdini. After feeling up her ass, he put his hand up her skirt. Daphne rolled out the welcome mat for the stranger and spread her legs. Bud stuck his hand into her panties and fingered her. She was ready!

Bud said: "Does that satisfactorily answer your question?"

Bud had finally personally confirmed that _A.D. Pis_ from Tennessee did in fact have pussies!

Daphne: "Yes! Let's go to the bedroom where we can be more comfortable."

In the bedroom, Bud undressed her. After some give and take oral sex, Bud was ready to mount her.

Bud: "Let me put his pillow under your ass. That should give you a little more retribution. Every time he puts his head on this pillow you will have the satisfaction of knowing where that pillow has been!"

Daphne: "Bud, you are bad, but I love it!"

Bud liked the pillow under the ass technique. He could get everything in including part of his spinal column!

After their first coupling, Daphne said: "Bud, you are the second man I have ever had sex with."

Bud thinks to himself that he is used to getting sloppy seconds. Ashley had told him the same thing. He also suspected that he was the second man in Fanny's life too, although she adamantly denied it. Bud had known two virgins in his life and Fanny was not one of them.

Bud: "Since you have been so candid with me, I think it is only fair that I reciprocate. I lied to you earlier."

Daphne asked in an alarmed voice: "What about?"

Bud: "It isn't true when I said I admired you back in school. I lusted after you!"

A relieved Daphne said: "Bud, that is so sweet." And she kissed him.

So much for fraternal loyalty! Bud did give her the secret fraternity handshake – the thumb in her cunt and the middle finger up her ass and then tap the tip of the thumb and finger together three times! Fraternity protocol allowed the thumb and finger to be reversed if necessary!

After going at it for a couple of hours, Daphne threw in the towel: "Bud you are a real tiger and have worn me out! Dan has never made love to me like that! But, you are going to have to go because I can't take any more. Caroline is going to be up before six and I am going to have to get some rest if I am going to make it through the day."

Bud: "I'm a tiger because you give me so much inspiration! Are you going to let me see you again?"

Daphne: "You can count on it! Would you like a promissory note?"

Before he left, Bud told her that when she got another urge to get even with Dan, to give him a call. He also gave her his address so she could communicate with him by letter when he was out flying and let him know when the coast would be clear. It was only about a two-hour drive from McGuire to Dover.

Daphne called Bud regularly. Every time Dan was on a trip and Bud was off, he would be in Dover. To Daphne 's delight, Bud always brought a present from Europe or flowers. She said that Dan rarely brought anything home to her anymore. Bud and Daphne did not dare go out and were confined to the apartment. They frequently order delivery Chinese and whatever else was available. She also told Bud that he was prophetic. Every time Dan put his head on his pillow it took every bit of her self control to keep from bursting out in laughter!

Bud wondered why Daphne picked him for her lover. He concluded that it was because Bud was not local, it was discreet, and no one would ever get to know about it. Once she even drove to New Jersey with the baby when both his roommates and Dan were off flying and spent two days with him. They even went out to dinner and took the baby with them just like a young married couple.

On one of their trysts, Daphne was having her period and started things off by knelling in front of Bud on the couch and sucking him off. She said that was in appreciation for treating her so nice, making her feel that she was still a desirable woman, and putting a spark back into her life. She was not a swallower. For that matter, neither was Bud's high school girlfriend or Fanny. Ashley was! It was somewhat ironic to Bud that the best looking one of the bunch was a swallower. Swallowing was a lot less messy, an erotic/exciting finish, and the woman got a nice protein supplement in the process!

As one wag put it: "Most women quit sucking when the guy cums. The real woman cranks it up into high gear at that point!"

Bud wasn't complaining though – he'll take it any way he can get it: "I hope that is not the only time that you show your appreciation like that."

Daphne: "It won't be! Would you like another promissory note?"

Daphne was the only _strange_ Bud managed to get while he was a bachelor in New Jersey for six months. Daphne's one shortcoming was that she had a rather large vagina - one of the possible consequences of normal childbirth. It was a paradox to Bud that such a pretty, sweet, and delicate girl could possibly have a big pussy; however, that was not a fatal flaw and could be corrected by modern medicine. It reminded him of that adage he first heard back in college: _Big girl – little pussy. Little girl – all pussy]_ Bud would take a beautiful girl with a big pussy over an ugly girl with a little pussy any day!

_Oh, the horror_ – Bud and Daphne have fallen in love. Bud apparently likes keeping his love life complicated. Bud finds himself in the quandary of having to choose between two women again! Daphne had a lot of excess baggage – emotional and otherwise. She was used, previously owned, and second hand. Bud's mind was filled with doubts and questions about her. If she, or rather when she got mad at him, would she go and fuck some other guy? Bud loved Caroline, but was he willing to take on the responsibility of raising her? Grandparents loved their grandchildren too, but they don't want to raise them. They know just how big of a job that is. How is Dan going to react to this betrayal? What was his side of the story? There are always two sides to every story. There was Daphne's aforementioned physical shortcoming. Could that be Dan's problem? The last time Bud found himself with the two women dilemma, he rejected Fanny - this time he chose her.

Eleven

Bud had to do his share of navigating. Fortunately, Bud is a better pilot than a navigator. His first navigator trip was from Harmon to Keflavik during the day. Bud had to admit that it was rather satisfying to look out of the front of the aircraft and see Prince Christian (the extreme southern end of Greenland) right on the nose where it was suppose to be. When the flight got about 100 miles from Keflavik, it was intercepted by an Air Force Convair F-102 Delta Dagger. Initially Bud's Aircraft Commander wonders what we had done wrong. The crew talked to the interceptor pilot on a discreet radio frequency and it turns out that his wife was on board! The cabin stewards located the wife and brought her to the cockpit where she waved to her husband from inside of the large pilot's window.

Another occasion Bud navigated was not so satisfying. This was a night flight from the Azores to Harmon. It was in the clouds all the way and the Loran was unreliable. Bud had to use _Dead Reckoning_ or _DR_ – the technical term for guessing. The flight made it although Bud did not know exactly where they were.

A VR-3 pilot's navigation led to one of the classic navigational errors of all time. It was so bad it was used in the Air Force navigation school as a bad example. A daytime MATS flight with a future Pan Am captain on the nav table departed Prestwick for Harmon. It was the pilot's first time as the navigator. One of the three compass systems on the aircraft was inoperable. The first task performed by the navigator is a deviation check – checking the accuracy of the compasses on a known celestial body. The pilot/nav's deviation check on the sun showed the compass they thought was good was in fact 15 degrees in error. The pilot/nav assumed this could not possibly be correct and trash canned the check without telling the pilot flying the airplane. The pilot/nav was utilizing Consolan for a course line(latitude) and the sun for the speed line(longitude). Consolan was an early long range navigation aid that consisted of a circular pattern divided up into 15 degree pie-shape sectors. The problem is that one needs to know in which sector one was located – the pilot/nav was in the wrong sector from the outset! One in sixty is an aerial navigation rule – every degree off of desired heading results in being one mile off course every 60 miles. The flight was in the clouds most of the way. After five to six hours, the aircraft broke out into the clear.

The pilot at the controls observed: "That sure is a strange looking cloud formation!"

It was the 11,000 high mountains of Greenland – the aircraft was at 8,000 ft.! An Air Force navigator, who was a passenger, came up to the cockpit and got a fix using the Prince Christian radio beacon and the sun – the flight was 600 miles off course! This was bad enough but it got worse. MATS had a policy that if a flight gets off course the aircraft should take the most direct course to return to the original flight plan. So instead of flying direct to Harmon, the aircraft commander flew back to the original course flying two sides of the triangle instead of the hypotenuse and nearly ran out of fuel before landing at Harmon.

Another common mission for VR-3 was the transportation of Army missile crews from Germany to Ft. Bliss, El Paso, Texas. Army missile crews had to fire one missile a year to remain qualified. The only place in the world the Army did this was Ft. Bliss. On one particular occasion, the VR-3 crew spent the night in El Paso. Common practice was to visit the cat houses in Juarez. At the cat house, the crew including Bud picked a girl to their liking and retreated to a room. Bud finished pretty quick and dragged his feet not wanting to be the first one finished. When he finally came out the rest of the guys were already waiting for him!

Back at McGuire, Bud is scheduled for a training flight and a check ride the next day. It is a shitty day with the weather at McGuire at minimums – one half a mile visibility and 200 ft. ceiling. Bud wonders why they are doing this? Well, it's not Bud's decision and off they go anyway. Bud flies GCA approaches – one after the other. Every approach is perfect. When the flight ended, the flight engineer stomps the ground with his foot – he did not think this was a good idea either. This flight is supposed to be a warmup for the check ride. Bud's performance so impressed the check pilot that he signs Bud off on his check ride.

Bud gets his first flight to Madrid. On the way over, Bud asks the A/C about Madrid. He is told to order the Casa Vino (wine of the house) and be sure to visit the nightclub Casa Blanca. Bud hits the town with a few other officers on the crew and proceeds to order the Casa Vino at the bars.

After dinner and a few more bars, Bud looks at one of his buddies and says: "Your teeth are purple!"

The guy responds: "Yours are too!"

Apparently, the Casa Vino was highly laced with red dye to make the marginal wine more visually appealing. They finally make it to the Casa Blanca which exceeds Bud's and the rest of the first timers' expectations. The Case Blanca is a nightclub that serves meals and features flamenco dancing. The first floor is the location of tables for dinner and couples along with the stage. Upstairs is the location of the stag bar which overlooks the stage. The stag bar is frequented by some 30 or 40 of the best looking hookers of every size, shape, and hair color Bud has ever seen. Bud eventually picks a beautiful brunette that could pass for a beauty queen on any U.S. college campus. But that is not the best part – the charge was only $10 and she supplied the apartment – what a deal! Who said Generalissimo Francisco Franco did not run a good country?

Coming out of Madrid the next day, one of the flight's passengers is a beautiful young Spanish girl that Bud cannot take his eyes off. Her looks hit Bud like a lightning bolt. She is the wife of a handsome young Air Force enlisted man and they are heading to a new life in the United States. It is a touching scene since her family is there to tearfully see her off. Although this was a very short and brief encounter, Bud would remember her the rest of his life. It was almost like Cupid shooting a golden arrow into his heart – _Love at First Sight!_ ( _Lust at First Sight_ would probably be more accurate). Bud would go on to experience about a dozen similar episodes with women throughout his life.

Bud gets his first flight to Mildenhall, England. Since there is adequate time, Bud and the other young guys in the crew go to London. It is a couple of hours train ride with a change of trains in Cambridge. They hit a few bars. Bud is bewildered by the monetary system. When Bud is told what he owes, he merely holds out his English money and let them take what they need. Fortunately, the English are generally an honest people! Late that night, the crew goes to some artsy London restaurant. At the back of the restaurant stands a totally nude girl which a couple of artists are drawing. Bud does not consider looking at a big bush and eating a meal to complement each other. The crew attempts to get accommodations at the Columbia House, the US. Military's London Officer's Club. Unfortunately, the Club is booked so the crew spends the night on the Club's couches.

In November, Bud gets a mission to NAS Memphis, Tennessee, where they spend the night. The next day, they fly the military policemen who were on duty at the University of Mississippi for the protection of James Meredith, the first black student, back to their home base at Ft. Hood, Texas. When the flight lands at Gray Army Air Field in Killeen, the crew is informed that President Kennedy has been shot in Dallas. The crew calculates that they were overhead Dallas at the time of the shooting.

Bud and Walt continued their friendship back at McGuire and played a lot of golf. Bud frequently would go to Walt's house for a visit and a cup of coffee. On one particular visit, Walt was not at the house but at his squadron. While Bud was waiting for Walt to return, the postman came by. In the mail, was a Christmas card from a motel in Oklahoma City to Mr. and Mrs. Walt Keyes. Walt's wife starts thinking out loud, when they could have possibly stayed at the motel. She thinks that she and Walt could have stayed there on a trip to Albuquerque. Bud knows right away what the deal is - Walt had been there with Sheila. Bud sees Walt drive into the parking lot behind their house. He wants to run out and warn Walt but knows this will probably make matters worse. Walt is going to have to handle this on his own. As soon as Walt walks in the door, his wife starts waving the card in his face asking him when they stayed there. A good defense is a good offense, so Walt acts irritated and tells her he hasn't got a clue. His wife who is a little on the meek side, drops the subject. Bud takes all of this in for future reference. Fanny is not as naïve as Walt's wife by any means and she would have caught Bud red-handed!

Bud's last flight on the C-118 is on December 18. It is a mission to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. The squadron has begun the transition to the C-130. Most of the senior officers are off at school and the junior officers are running the show. The squadron has never run so smoothly. Bud is scheduled to start school in mid-January. In the meantime, he is going to take a few weeks leave to get married.

On his way south, Bud made one last stop to see Daphne. She was lying naked in his arms in the bed.

Bud: "I have gotten real attached to you and Caroline. I never thought I could ever love some other man's child. You have no idea just how much I am going to miss you both."

Daphne: "Bud, stop!"

Bud: "If it wasn't for Fanny, I believe I could be happy spending the rest of my life with you."

Daphne: "Bud if you say any more, you are going to have a hysterical woman with a crying jag on your hands!"

Bud: "Well, if you don't want me to say any more, I guess I am going to have to fuck you as hard and nastily as I can make it!"

Daphne: "Good! Give me your very best shot."

Bud leaned over and took one of her breasts in his hand and the other in his mouth.

Bud: "Let's go _77_."

Daphne: "What's that?"

Bud: "The same as _69_ but you get ate more!"

Daphne: "Bud, you are impossible, but I like it!"

Daphne got up on all fours. She reversed her position, swung her leg over Bud's head, and assumed the position.

Bud: "My God, what a gorgeous sight. It all looks so good, I don't know where to start."

The next day, Bud was about to leave.

Bud: "This marriage is not a done deal. She has tried to break up with me at least three times in the past two years. If I knew then what I know now, I would have let her. I would not be the least surprised if she called the whole thing off."

Daphne: "Here is the phone number of my parents in Knoxville. If you ever want to get in touch with me, they will tell you how. Without you, I don't have any reason to stay here."

Bud: "Never forget that you will always be in a place in my heart and that I love you."

Daphne: "Bud, I love you too. God, bless you."

After Bud left, Daphne lay down on the bed and had her crying jag.

Dan would go on to survive the C-133 but his and Daphne's marriage would not.

Twelve

Fanny and Bud were married on January 5, 1964 in Fanny's home town of Pikeville, Tennessee. It is a small wedding in Fanny's family's church. Fanny's parents weren't exactly jubilant having their oldest daughter married off. Fanny even paid for the wedding – a cost of $110. Bud's mother and stepfather make the trip from Baltimore for the occasion. Bud and Fanny drive to New Orleans for their honeymoon. Their stay in New Orleans included a dinner at Antoine's. The dinner sets Bud back $12 ($89 in 2013). He leaves a one dollar tip and feels like a real sport. The honeymoon is relatively short and they head back to Tennessee. After dropping Fanny off in Jacksboro, Bud heads 200 miles to Sewart AFB, just outside Nashville, for the seven week C-130 school.

The first few weeks of the school are devoted to ground school that teaches the various systems of the aircraft. As usual, the Air Force has excellent aircraft systems mockups and schematics with motion. As soon as classes end on Friday, Bud is on the road to Fanny. While Bud is having an enjoyable time with his new bride, the other boys back at Sewart are also enjoying themselves. It turns out that the Officer's Club at Sewart is a real lively place – lots of unattached women looking for action. Sewart is nicknamed _Peyton Base_ after the sex-sational novel and subsequent movie of the time _Peyton Place_.

On one weekend, Bud rendezvous with Fanny at her parents in Pikeville. Bud asks Fanny to fix him something to eat. While preparing the food, Fanny asks Bud to keep something stirred on the stove. As Bud gets up to do what he was told, Fanny's father motions Bud to come over.

Her father than whispers in Bud's ear: "If you start doing this now, you are going to be doing it the rest of your life." Good advice! Bud sits down and ignores her.

After ground school, the next phase is in the simulator. Bud's flying partner is another junior officer whose wife accompanied him to Sewart. One weekend, they pick Fanny up in Jacksboro and take a trip to Gatlinburg to enjoy the Great Smoky Mountains. A two-bedroom cabin is rented in Gatlinburg. The next morning, they get up and Bud's and Fanny's bed linen looks like someone had slaughtered a pig – a total bloody mess. It turns out that Fanny had her period and thought it was over. The evidence pointed to the contrary. Bud is appalled and asks Fanny what they were going to do about it. Fanny is nonplussed and says that the maids see that all the time. Well, if she wasn't going to worry about it neither was Bud.

Back at Sewart, the simulator phase is completed and it is on to flight training. On one particular flight, the weather at Sewart was not very good so the instructor filed a flight plan to Bunker Hill AFB, Indiana for approach and landing work. Bunker Hill at the time was the base for the incredible B-58 Hustler. Doing touch-and-go landings, Bud observes the rows of B-58s sitting on the ramp with its fighter type canopies open.

Bud makes the acquaintances of another young couple, Alice and Glen Hurley, where Fanny worked. The couple was as different as night and day. The gal was Fanny's co-worker and graduated from Tennessee the same time she did. Alice was straight laced and reminded Bud of a Sunday school teacher or a missionary. Her husband, on the other hand, was an extrovert, a jokester, earthy, college baseball jock, and a very likeable guy. Alice and Glen were a good example of the old adage: _opposites attract_. Glen always had a good supply of anecdotes.

Glen: "Did you hear about that old farmer who said how disappointed he was to learn that professional wrestling was faked? He said that he hopes he never finds out the roller derby is faked too!"

Glen: "Someone asked that old farmer what he thought of Daylight Savings Time. The farmer replied that it was the stupidest thing he ever heard off. With the current drought, the last thing we need is another hour of sunlight!"

Glen was the catalyst that ended Fanny and Bud's honeymoon. Glen had the habit of farting whenever and wherever he wanted and that included in the presence of his wife and Fanny. Bud thinks: _Well, if he can do it, I can too_ and Bud started farting around Fanny.

Fanny is shocked and says: "I didn't know Bud did that!"

While at Sewart, Bud had the pleasure of observing rather rare weather phenomena – an occluded front which is where a cold front overtakes a warm front. One evening, the base was receiving a pounding from rain and thunderstorms. The rain ended and Bud stepped outside the BOQ and observed clear skies. One hour later, it was snowing.

The C-130 school ends the first of March and Bud heads back to McGuire. Fanny has agreed to remain at her job for the remainder of the school year. Back at the squadron, more flight training is in progress. Bud has his first operational flight in the C-130 the first of May to Thule, Greenland. Bud is love-sick and miserable without Fanny. When he gets back from his trip, he calls Fanny and tells her that this is not working. Fanny replies that she knows and has already given notice.

She ends the conversation with; "Come down and get me."

Bud flies down to Knoxville and helps Fanny to move. They drive up to New Jersey and move into an apartment in east Trenton.

Thirteen

MATS got out of the passenger business and farmed that out to commercial carriers. VR-3's C-130 operation was entirely different than the C-118's. Some things were better - some were worse. For starters, the airplane was a lot better. The 130 was considerably faster and flew a lot higher than the 118 above most of the weather. Being turbine powered, the 130 had air conditioning that made it much more comfortable than the 118, especially in the summer. The 130 had more range and could cross the Atlantic with only one stop for fuel. The Air Force also prevailed upon the Navy to staff the squadron with real navigators, so pilots no longer had to navigate. The C-130 also had a nice little instrument called the Doppler Radar which read the terrain or water and indicated the aircraft's ground speed and drift angle. This was not to be used as the primary navigation instrument but it was a damn good indication of what was happening. The crews no longer flew in uniforms but flight suits, boots, and leather jackets. The crew rests for the majority of C-118 flights had been in Paris, Frankfurt and Mildenhall, England, a short train ride to London. European C-130 operations were concentrated at Chateauroux, France – out in the middle of nowhere. Crews would stage out of Chateauroux for approximately two weeks and fly military and diplomatic supply missions all over Europe and as far east as Pakistan. There were flights to Spain, Italy, Greece, Turkey, Israel, Lebanon, Saudi Arabia, Iran, and south to Ethiopia. In this regard, the crews got to see a lot more of the world.

With the C-130 came a changing of the guard of VR-3's officers. Worse of all, was the new commanding officer. He made some very unpopular changes in the squadron. The change with the most impact was a requirement for all officers to have a collateral job. In most aviation squadrons, a large number of collateral jobs involve aircraft maintenance. The problem was that VR-3's maintenance was done by the Air Force. The squadron would have 12 officers doing a job that did not require enough work for one officer. The situation was ridiculous. Most junior officers spent the day hanging around the Officer's Ready Room (lounge) drinking coffee and playing Acey-Ducey – the Navy version of backgammon. Bud takes a job in the Base Services Department as the Flight Clothing Officer which is located on the other side of the base. Bud's boss is Cdr. Hanson, a full commander (Lt. Colonel) who had just come from a four- year desk job. The commander would tell Bud to write a letter on some mundane subject. Bud would write the letter and then the commander would proceed to dissect and correct the letter more than any of Bud's college English professors. While Bud is not happy with his ground job, his boss, the commander, is even more unhappy with flying. First of all, the commander cannot take the odd ball hours of flying and is suffering physically. He is also having problems flying the aircraft. He asks Bud how much power it takes to maintain 250 knots. Bud has never thought about this and replies that it is a matter of feel. You put on so much power and adjust it to get what is desired. Apparently the commander never got it and resigns from flying – taking a full time ground job.

Fanny gets a job with the State of New Jersey. Specifically at the New Jersey State Home for Girls teaching young female delinquents home economics and sewing. It is a crappy job but it pays well and she makes as much money as Bud. The girls, about 99 percent black, are all under 18 and in there for murder and prostitution on down. Some are pregnant.

The girls are fascinated with Fanny's and Bud's married life and pressure her to tell them all about it. The most frequent question the girls asked Fanny was: "Do yo husband beats you? Cus if he don't beats you, he don't loves you!"

Other than Fanny's job, these are very happy days. Bud will go on a two-week trip and come home to a combination of honeymoon and Christmas. These are the days when the dollar was king. The world was a big shopping mall at bargain prices and this is the first time Fanny and Bud had disposable income of any consequence. Bud comes home and lavishes presents on Fanny which she delightfully enjoys to the nth degree! These include the finest perfumes, jewelry, accessories for the apartment, ceramic art work, clothing – you name it. Bud even bought a bottle of Chanel #5 and Joy perfume and sent them to Mrs. Williams and Gracie – the hell with Ashley who is now married! Bud included some Cuban cigars for Joe. Fanny and Bud also dine out quite a bit on the weekends at many of New Jersey's finest restaurants. In spite of this seemingly bourgeoisie lifestyle, Fanny and Bud manage to live on one of their paychecks and save the other. Newlyweds should not be separated – the two week separation seemed like two years.

It is not entirely a bed of roses for Fanny and Bud. Every new marriage requires a certain amount of adjustment and compromise. Their first problem concerned the chore of who did the grocery shopping. Heeding the advice of Fanny's father, Bud expects Fanny to do it. The problem is that the base commissary, the cheapest place to shop, is about a 30 minute drive away. The only time Fanny can do that is on Saturday when she has other things to do such as the laundry. On the other hand, Fanny figures Bud is already at the base and can easily shop after work. After thinking about it, Bud comes to the conclusion that Fanny is right and it is a lot more practical for him to do the shopping. First conflict settled!

The second problem was more of a humorous note. Since Bud brought an unusual large amount of presents for Fanny on one particular trip, he did not bring anything back on the next trip. After moping around for a couple of days, Fanny tells Bud that he does not have to bring anything big back from his trips, but be sure to bring something even if it is small. This gets around to Fanny and Bud's friends and leads to a standing joke. Fanny will not undo the chain on the door of the apartment until Bud passes the presents in!

One of the trips out of Chateauroux is called the _Turkey Trot_ by the crews. This trip sometimes has a crew rest in Athens. There is no AF billeting at Athens so the crews are put up in a commercial hotel near the airport. The hotel is called the Congo Palace and is a few blocks from the beach in the town of Glifadha. The Air Force uses the hotel so much that they eventually bought the place. The crew's favorite hangout is George's Steak House. George's specialty is steaks, lamb chops, and shish-ka-bob. Served along with a Greek salad of tomatoes, cucumbers, fresh Feta cheese, and olive oil along with Sesame seed encrusted bread and a good local wine or the local Fix beer, it is some fine dining and cheap. From Athens, the next crew rest is at Incirlik Air Base at Adana, Turkey. Incirlik is a joint U.S. /Turkey base. From here supply missions are flown all over Turkey in support of the many US. electronic surveillance sites that monitor radio traffic from the nearby Soviet Union.

On Bud's first _Turkey Trot_ , the flight stopped at the Turkish town of Samsun on the Black Sea. It is a commercial airport. Bud has to go to the bathroom. He goes into the men's room in the passenger terminal and opens a stall only to find a _squat toilet_ – a recessed hole in the floor with foot pads and a water spigot on the side wall. Not even any toilet paper! All of sudden, Bud looses the urge. He will wait until they get back to Adana to relieve himself. One of the other pilots called this abomination a _dive bombing toilet_. Fortunately, Bud never absolutely had to use one!

When time permits, the crew sometime venture into the town of Adana. The main attraction is _The Compound_ which is a walled-in red light district. To gain access, one is frisked by a Turkish policeman for weapons and cameras must be checked at the entrance. Both the compound and the women who work there are pretty rough. It turns out that the Turks do not feed their prisoners. Prisoners have to provide their own food. The prisoners' women have to resort to prostitution so they and their men can survive. On one occasion, Bud and the crew are accompanied by the squadron flight surgeon, Doc Perkins.

Doc takes one look at this place and says: "If I find out that one of our enlisted men contracts VD from this place, I am personally going to see that he gets court-martialed!"

Although Bud did not purchase anything in the compound, he has a shopping list from Fanny. Turkey is known for its good leather coats. Bud had tried on one of Fanny's coats to see where it fit on him. Using this as a guide and Fanny's height, Bud and the non-English speaking shopkeeper pick out a coat using sign language. As luck would have it, the coat turned out to be a perfect fit.

Fourteen

Back at McGuire, VR-3s unpopular commanding officer has been fired! Among other things, the man was a lousy pilot. He made a hard landing in Madrid that broke the aircraft's pressurization system. Well, it turned out that the CO is on a trip with a LTJG (Lieutenant- Junior Grade) Aircraft Commander (A/C). The crew is at an airbase filing a flight plan for their next destination. The A/C takes one look at the weather and says they were not going because the weather is too bad. The CO tells the A/C that they have to go because that is their mission. After the A/C refuses, the CO orders him to go.

The A/C then replies: "Sir with due respect, you cannot order me to go."

End of argument. Meanwhile this scene is being witnessed by a member of the Wing Staff who is taking notes. McGuire is also home to the Naval Air Transport Wing – Atlantic which oversees VR-3 and VR-22 at Norfolk. Members of the Wing frequently accompany VR-3 flights as observers or crewmembers. When the crew gets back to McGuire, the Wing officer tells the Wing Commander about the incident. As a result, the CO is relieved of command.

The Wing Commander, a Navy Captain, was well liked. He was a good pilot and a fair, no nonsense man. The C-130 has a device called a tail skid. This device prevents damaging the rear fuselage when the airplane is over rotated (the nose is too high) on takeoff or landing. The Air Force has a policy that whenever a tail skid is damaged, the pilots concerned are automatically demoted. An Examiner Pilot is demoted to Instructor Pilot, an Instructor Pilot is demoted to Aircraft Commander and so on. Well, a VR-3 crew wiped out a tail skid on a training flight. Some Air Force flunky, a Major or Lt. Colonel, called the Wing Commander and reminded him that VR-3 had just wiped out a tail skid and asked him what he was going to do about it.

The Wing Commander is alleged to have said: "Nothing! That is what the son-of-a-bitch is on there for! Good day." He then hung up the phone.

Bud is back in the office and is told Cdr. Hanson wants to see him in his office. Bud wonders _what the fuck is it now?_ It turns out to be good news. Hanson tells Bud that he has been asked for in the Operations Department to be a Command Post Officer. Apparently Bud flew with one of the senior officers who liked him and wanted him to work in his department. Bud likes the new job. He actually feels like he is accomplishing something. The command post receives missions from the Wing, and then sends copies to the various scheduling offices. Enlisted men do all of this work. Bud also supervises the daily Squadron Duty Officer. One night Bud gets a call from the Duty Officer. It seems like someone in an enlisted man's family got involved in a serious auto accident. The enlisted man was requesting emergency leave to be at his relative's side. Bud asked the Duty Officer what the instructions said? The Duty Officer said that all emergency leave must be approved by the Executive Officer. Bud tells the Duty Officer to do just that - in spite of the fact that it is the middle of the night!

Late in the summer, Fanny and Bud take a vacation. They are going to drive all the way down the Atlantic coast to Miami and return via Tennessee. First stop is at Norfolk, where Bud needs some uniform items from the air station. Bud has always wanted a pair of tan Wellington boots for his tropical uniforms and buys a pair at the Base Exchange. After they do their shopping, Fanny and Bud decide to have lunch at the exchange cafeteria. Bud and Fanny get their food and sit down at a table. The place is abuzz – there are about 100 sailors also in the cafeteria. Bud looks up wondering what the commotion is all about and notices the all of the smiling sailors' 200 lusting eyes are riveted on Fanny. Fanny is a good looking, sensuous woman, with a very nice figure. Today, she looks stunning in a pair of tight white Bermuda shorts and an equally revealing light blue jersey pullover. Bud finds the whole scene very amusing. Fanny is the number one comic character. Although she has almost caused a riot, she is totally oblivious to the situation and engrossed in eating her meal. Bud can only imagine the comments the sailors are making to each other and probably consider him one lucky S.O.B. The boys can look and fantasize all they want! After all, Bud is the one who gets to screw her. Let them eat their little cotton-picking hearts out!

It is a very pleasant trip. They would drive a couple of hundred miles a day. Spend part of the day on many of the great beaches along the way and see the sites. After visiting with a friend in Miami, they also stay with a friend in Atlanta before visiting Fanny's parents. Then it is back to New Jersey – all in all it was quite a vacation.

The same summer, Alice and Glen Hurley visited Fanny and Bud for a week in New Jersey. They all went to the World's Fair in New York and also to a Yankee's game. The four of them were sitting around Fanny's and Bud's apartment one evening after dinner chatting.

Out of nowhere Alice says: "We were having oral sex last month and Glen had an accident."

Bud almost fell out of his chair.

Glen started laughing and said: "That wasn't an accident!"

Fifteen

The C-130 only required one refueling stop to Europe. Prestwick, Scotland is the usual stop. The airport at Prestwick is very unusual at that time in that a public highway crossed the runway! It is quite a sight when the aircraft is cleared into position and hold. Once you get lined up you see a double-decker bus crossing the runway! During Bud's time in VR-3 the highway gets re-routed around the airport. On one occasion while descending into Prestwick, a life raft which was stowed in a compartment on top of the wing deploys and damages the horizontal stabilizer. The crew is stuck in Prestwick for a few days while the plane is getting repaired. The five officers of the crew rent a car and set up a tour at the Johnny Walker Scotch whiskey facility at Kilmarnock. The tour guide is a very distinguished white haired gentleman.

Before the tour starts, he gives the crew the following briefing: "I feel it is only safe to warn you young gentlemen that we have 1500 young ladies between the age of 18 and 25 working here!"

They discover what he is talking about when they enter the packing department. The very large room is filled with several hundred young girls. As soon as the girls spot the guys, they begin to giggle and talk among themselves. Bud now knows how a good looking woman feels when she walks by a construction site and gets bombarded by the cat-calls and whistles! The tour is very interesting. There are several canteens in the plant. Twice a day, in the morning and in the afternoon, all male employees can stop by and get a shot of whiskey. Once the tour is over, the crew is taken to a room and given all the Scotch they want. Bud is driving so he goes easy.

Bud says that he got his undergraduate degree in drinking at college. At VR-3, he got his PhD. About half of the officers in the squadron, and many of the wives, could be classified as alcoholics. Drinking to excess is a big part of the military culture at that time. Bud gets invited by one group of guys who have lunch at this motel on the highway to Trenton. The reason they go there is because the restaurant has a special on Martinis during lunch. Bud has a beer while the rest of them are pounding down Martinis. Back at the squadron, Bud has trouble the rest of the afternoon staying awake. That is the one and only time he went to lunch with that bunch! The greatest excess occurs at the officer's parties. A couple of times a year, the Navy announced promotions. Tradition dictates that the first month's increase in pay caused by the promotion be spent on a party. Some people get so drunk they have to be carried out of the place. One of the top hardcore alkies is the squadron executive officer, Cdr. Gold who had a reputation of really tying them on. Gold winds up getting transferred to NAS Lakehurst, N.J. a few miles away. One night Gold is in the process of getting into his cups during Happy Hour. He is sitting at the bar next to a junior officer and his date or wife. The junior officer is trying to talk to Gold on his left and his date on his right at the same time. Gold says something to the junior officer who is presently talking to his date. Gold thinks the junior officer is ignoring him, so he grabs the junior officer by the shoulder and says; "I'm talking to you!" Well, the junior officer falls backwards off the bar stool and cracks his head open on the floor. As a result, the CO of Lakehurst bans Gold from the Officer's Club!

One of Bud's buddies has an afternoon appointment with the Air Force dental department. When he gets in the chair, the dentist asks: "Have you been drinking?" He says: "I had a beer with lunch. It was just a social drink." The dentist replied: "Social drinking in the Navy is considered alcoholism in the Air Force!"

There were several other officers who lived in the same apartment complex. Sometimes Bud would get home after being away for two weeks while Fanny was still at work. He would watch TV and have a few drinks until she came home. On one occasion Fanny came home and joined him on the couch. After Fanny opened her presents, Bud proceeded to take off her girdle and stockings and playfully tossed them over the back of the couch. Several weeks later while Bud was on another trip, Fanny had several of the neighbor women to the apartment for coffee. One of the girls brought her Dachshund. While the girls are sitting there having their coffee and engaging in small talk, the dog walks around from behind the couch with the girdle and stockings in its mouth! Fanny got a little more than slightly embarrassed and later gave Bud hell about it!

Sixteen

Bud flies with his first bad aircraft commander or captain in his aviation career. The man is a lieutenant and ex-enlisted pilot Dick Zimmer. He is constantly riding the junior officers and is highly disliked in the squadron. He is a regular reincarnation of _Captain Queeg_ of _The Caine Mutiny_ fame, a tyrant who dwells on details and the insignificant in an attempt to compensate for his incompetence and insecurity. There isn't one junior officer who would piss on his head if his hair was on fire.

Zimmer was not a very good pilot and demonstrated that fact on more than one occasion. He was making a takeoff at Prestwick, Scotland when the aircraft hit a flock of seagulls that knocked out one outboard engine. Zimmer put all four throttles into full reverse and the asymmetrical thrust caused the aircraft to head off of the runway. Only the quick action of the copilot of stomping on the rudder and taking the throttles out of full reverse thrust kept the aircraft on the runway. Sometime later at Fort Polk, Louisiana, Zimmer made an extremely hard landing. The wings flexed down and then back up. The right wing just outboard of the number one engine kept on going and tore off of the aircraft. Fortunately, the aircraft did not catch fire even though fuel was pouring out of the wing. Having a C-130 at Fort Polk was somewhat of a novelty and the entire scene was captured on film by a member of the tower crew.

Zimmer obviously had to go through a considerable amount of scrutiny that included simulator and aircraft check rides. Zimmer then had to get a check flying a line trip by a flight examiner who just happened to be another ex-enlisted pilot and one of Zimmer's buddies. Zimmer was given the most experienced crew as possible that included Bud, a senior 1P, about to make aircraft commander and Jim Stoneman, a senior 2P, and about to make 1P who also had over 1,000 civilian flying hours before joining the Navy. Both Bud and Stoneman had been "Student of the Week" in the Training Command.

After a refueling stop in Prestwick, the flight proceeded to Frankfurt. Recently, several Air Force flights had blundered over the East German border and were shot at. The Air Force's reaction was to create a buffer zone along the East German border. The flight was informed that it was going to be given a penetration approach into Frankfurt that went slightly into the buffer zone. Bud was assisting Zimmer as much as he could by going over the details of the approach and what Bud was going to do. Well, Zimmer starts the approach and along the way starts ranting and raving at Bud at length for something that Zimmer must not have understood or misinterpreted.

Zimmer is screaming: "You are trying to kill me! You are trying to kill me!"

Now, even if Bud was wrong and screwed up, the middle of the approach was no time to be chewing out a subordinate. The time to do that was when the flight was over and the engines shut down.

When the engines were finally shut down, the examiner leans forward and pats Zimmer on the shoulder and says: "Good job!"

Bud almost puked! Zimmer should have been busted for the timing of his outburst! Bud lost all respect for the flight examiner but was not in a position to do anything about it. Fact is, the examiner should have been busted too for passing Zimmer. After Bud made aircraft commander, he vowed never to fly with that examiner again. If that examiner had been scheduled to give Bud a check ride, Bud would have gone to the commanding officer and demanded a different examiner. He would have told the C.O. the entire ugly story if necessary.

The flight finally gets back to McGuire and Zimmer is reinstated.

A week or so later, Bud is at his desk in the command post when an enlisted yeoman from Operations comes by and says: "Mister Shuler, when you get a minute please stop by the office. I have something I want to show you."

Bud wasn't doing anything at the moment so he said: "I'll be right there."

When Bud gets there, the yeoman hands him the crewmember evaluation reports that Zimmer had written up on Bud and Stoneman. The reports were scathing criticisms of Bud and Stoneman.

Bud hands the reports back to the yeoman who said: "Well, I better file these."

The yeoman turned to the side and dumped both reports into the trash can – the circular filing cabinet. A short time later, the squadron got rid of Zimmer by promoting him to an administration job with the Wing.

A few months later, Bud was getting checked out as aircraft commander. It just so happened that he is also flying into Frankfurt which has two runways side by side. Approach control gave the flight a radar vector to the left runway. Bud who is hand flying the aircraft instructs the copilot to tune the radio to the ILS (Instrument Landing System) of the left runway. Shortly, the examiner reaches up and retunes the radio. The copilot had tuned it to the wrong runway! Bud did not go berserk, start ranting and raving at the copilot, and accuse him of trying to kill him. He went ahead and flew a successful approach - the weather was at minimums. Nothing else was said about the copilot's mistake by either Bud or the examiner. The copilot had screwed-up and he knew he screwed up!

Seventeen

Chateauroux was a fairly new base. The airfield and cantonment area were not co-located but several miles apart. This is the new concept to reduce the noise in the housing and administration area. Chateauroux had a very good Officer's Club with an excellent French chef. They had the best French onion soup Bud had before or since. As a matter of fact, Bud could make a meal out of the soup, an order of snails, bread, and a good wine. The bar area at the club is separated from the rest of the club by a glass partition with two entrances. There are no restrooms in the bar area.

Occasionally during Happy Hour, the club manager would ring a bell behind the bar and announce: "The pressure is on!"

What this means is that all drinks are free until the first guy has to use the bathroom! Ex-football types station themselves by the entrances barring anyone from leaving. One can also see a guy or two in the corners using a beer bottle while other guys shield them from view with their coats. Finally, when the overwhelming majority need to urinate, there is a stampede to the restrooms and the pressure and free booze are off.

Although Chateauroux is out in the sticks, it is a reasonable train ride to Paris about 150 miles away. On occasion when arriving at Chateauroux, the crews are released for a few days. Some take the opportunity to visit Paris. In Paris crews can stay at the U.S. military hotel or find reasonable lodging nearby. On one trip, the crew goes to Paris. Bud has heard that you can go to the _Folies Bergere_ , sit at the bar, order a bottle of champagne and watch the show for about $20. Bud can't interest anyone else in going, so he goes by himself. It is a pretty good lavish Las Vegas type show and topless. While sipping champagne, Bud wonders what the jet-jockeys are doing on the aircraft carrier tonight. Probably jerking off or playing ping pong! In addition, Bud is also getting _Per Diem_ or daily expense money which the guys on the carrier don't get.

There are also trips out of Chateauroux to Pakistan with stops in between that include Dhahran, Saudi Arabia and Tehran, Iran. At Dhahran, Bud is told the sand used in concrete to build the airport terminal had to be imported. It seems that the sand in Saudi Arabia has blown around so much that it is rounded and cement does not stick well to it. What a hell of a salesman – selling sand to Saudi Arabia. Bud hopes that salesman does not come to his door! In Tehran the Shah is still in power and lots of Western conveniences abound. Pakistan is a real hole. Bud has heard that India is worse. First stop is Karachi. The flight is met by the U.S. Air Attaché, an Air Force Major. He tells the crew that he lives in a walled villa and has ten servants including a porter who only carries stuff. The next stop is up north in Peshawar where the crew spends the night. Peshawar is very close to the Khyber Pass. The crew stays in a former British barracks and compound that had been the home of the Khyber Rifles.

Bud manages to have one crew rest in Beirut. Due to the volatile political situation, the crew changes into civilian clothes before heading downtown to their hotel. The crew stays in a French run hotel and eats dinner at a French restaurant. Beirut is a beautiful city – the Paris of the East. It won't stay beautiful long because the idiots will shortly blow it all up!

Eighteen

The new CO has made some popular changes. Usually, an officer only gets a few days off after returning from a two-week trip. To boost squadron moral, he adopts a formula that gives an officer a day off for every two days away. When Bud gets back from a two-week trip, he gets about a week off. Usually that involves playing golf several days with the other guys who were on the trip. One of the courses they like to play is a semi-private course named Cream Ridge. While they are playing one day around this water hole, Bud notices a snake that has caught a fish. The next day, they play the same course and get to the same water hole. Bud hit his ball into the edge of the lake. As Bud approaches his ball, he is thinking snake. After looking over the lake real good, he reaches down to retrieve his ball. Just then, a frog jumps right next to Bud's hand. He jumps about 10 feet into the air and everyone gets a good laugh – including Bud. After the week off, it is back to the office for a week and then back on the road. The Vietnam War is starting to heat up and the squadron starts getting trips out to the Pacific.

There is a major crisis in the squadron. Officer's wives are getting obscene phone calls when their husbands are out on trips. One of Bud's friends, LCdr. Joe Horton, is put in charge of the investigation. He first interviews all the wives and learns exactly what the caller said. He confides to Bud that he has come to the conclusion that the caller is probably an enlisted man who has access to the officer's schedules and whereabouts. All of the calls are local, in the vicinity of the base, where most of the officers live in base housing. Fanny never gets a call because Trenton is long distance. Horton calls the Office of Naval Intelligence in Washington and tells one of their criminal investigators about the problem. The investigator first asks Horton what the caller says. He then asks Horton if there is a photographic roster of everyone in the squadron. When Horton replies in the affirmative, the investigator says he will come to McGuire and pick the guy out. Horton questions the investigators ability to do this.

The investigator then told Horton: "Would you like me to tell you what you look like."

Horton said: "He described me to a T!"

The investigator came to McGuire and indentified the man. A little undercover work eventually caught him in the act and he was arrested. Today that sailor is probably a Congressman or Senator!

Bud finally gets a trip out to the Pacific. Generally, squadrons on the East Coast never get to the Pacific. After a stop to pick up cargo at Langley AFB, Virginia, they flew non-stop to Travis AFB, California for a crew rest. The next leg is an eight plus hour flight to Hawaii. Crew resting in Hawaii, Bud and the crew are sitting outside of the Hickam AFB O'Club sipping on one of the local specialties, a Mai Tai – a rum based fruity cocktail. Hickam's O'Club is located right at the entrance to Pearl Harbor. While the crew is sitting there an aircraft carrier comes steaming into the harbor. Although it is a magnificent sight, Bud is happy that he is not on it! The next leg is a seven and a half hour flight to Wake Island and another crew rest. You can run out of things to do on Wake Island real quick. The place was first developed by Pan American when seaplane service to the Orient was begun in the 1930s. The island was invaded by the Japanese just after Pearl Harbor. The U.S. chose to bypass the island during the war and starve the Japanese out. After looking at the old pill boxes and rusting coastal guns, there is not much else to do. The highlight of Wake is its only bar, The Drifter's Reef. This open air establishment is legendry among the aviation community. The next leg is a nine hour plus flight to Clark AFB in the Philippines. From Clark, the flight goes to Nha Trang and then Saigon before returning to Clark.

After crew rest, the crew draws a flight to Bangkok, Thailand via Saigon. The crew is elated! Bangkok is considered one of the premier liberty cities in the Orient. First stop in Bangkok is James Jewelers. James Jewelers is also legendary among the Pacific aviation community and every American military man who has been to Bangkok has bought something there. It is truly a shopper's paradise. Fanny is going to be real happy when Bud gets home. Bud buys the one "must have item," a set of rosewood handle bronze knife, spoon, and fork sets. Every military crewmember that has been to Bangkok has a set. He also buys Fanny a star sapphire gold ring and a gold Buddha charm for her charm bracelet. The next must do item in Bangkok is a trip to the Hotsie Bath. The crew has been talking about this ever since they left McGuire except one of the guys, Ed Cain. Ed comes from quite an athletic family. Ed played quarterback at Bucknell and was a triple A professional baseball pitcher. He was about to get drafted and joined the Navy instead. Ed's brother was backup quarterback to Roger Staubach at the Naval Academy. Well, Ed is somewhat of an exercise and health nut and says that he does not want some Oriental female putting her hands on his body. All of that changed after several beers and dinner, Ed is now leading the charge to the Hotsie Bath. The Hotsie Bath consists of a steam bath, followed by a massage, and a finish with a hand-job. Each member of the crew is an open-topped cubical with his personal masseuse. One can hear everything that is going on. Ed's giggling and laughing gets Bud tickled and he starts laughing as well to the consternation of Bud's masseuse who wonders what is so funny. The crew would have liked to spend more time in Bangkok but the next morning it was on the road again to Kadena, Okinawa. The flight to Kadena is routed right over South Vietnam. About this time the A/C, LCdr. Foster, has a shit-fit – he was probably nervous. He starts going on that all of the junior officers are a bunch of dope-offs. They are totally unconcerned about flying through a combat zone. In addition, all the aircraft is to them is transportation from one PX and bar to another. Bud thinks to himself: _Well, isn't it?_ Foster neglects to tell them just exactly what they are supposed to be doing. Bud sarcastically thinks that maybe he should open his pocket knife and stare out of one the windows like a B-17 gunner keeping a lookout for any Viet Cong!

Foster later retires from the Navy and takes a job as Chief Pilot for some commuter airline. Ed Cain winds up getting his pilot rating and working for the same airline. One day Foster is flying copilot while giving Ed a check ride. He has been drinking and is slurring his words while talking on the radio. The FAA meets the aircraft. Foster gets fired for being drunk and Ed gets fired as well for letting him on the airplane.

After the Kadena crew rest, they head home. First it is non-stop to Midway Island and then non-stop to Travis. Two 10 hour plus flights in one crew duty period! What a ball buster! After the deserved crew rest at Travis, they fly home to McGuire after a stop at Andrews AFB in Washington DC. They have been gone ten days and have flown 86 hours. They kept the same aircraft the entire time.

Nineteen

Bud's next trip is to Europe with Jack Wagner. Jack has been hired by Pan American and this is his last flight in the Navy. The first stop In Europe is at Frankfort. The aircraft is broke and a part must be ordered. Well. It just so happens that the Tactical Air Command is running an exercise out of Frankfort with C-130s. To keep their flights going and as a result make their performance look good, they keep stealing parts off of Bud's aircraft. This is called cannibalization. The policy is that when a crew is stuck somewhere like they were, they are suppose to bump (take the aircraft) of their next squadron crew that comes through. Well, Jack figures this being his last flight, he is going to enjoy a little time off in Frankfurt. What can they to do to him anyway?

Maintenance gives a ready time for the aircraft in a couple of days, so the crew decides to go to Berlin. They buy a discounted military ticket on a Pan Am DC-6 and go to Berlin. They stick their heads into the cockpit and tell them Jack has just been hired by Pan Am. The Captain invites them back to the cockpit to observe the landing in Templehof – just like during the Berlin Airlift. In Berlin, they get rooms right at the Templehof BOQ and proceed to see the city.

One of the guys has heard that military personnel can see East Berlin. Although the Berlin Wall is up and guarded – that is only to keep East Germans in. The ruling powers of Berlin, the Americans, the British, the French, and the Russians have unlimited access to all parts of the city – including East Berlin. The Americans visit East Berlin on a regular basis to exercise their rights and probably irritate the Russians. Bud and two other guys on the crew call the Army and arrange a ride to East Berlin in the back seat of an Army car. They meet the car and proceed right through Checkpoint Charlie with the wave of a guard. Two Army enlisted men are up front – one driving and the other copying military licenses plates. A funny thing occurs. When Russians see our car, they shake their fists at us. When East Germans see out car, they wave and smile. It is 1965, and East Berlin still is a half-leveled shit hole 20 years after the war. On the other hand, West Berlin has all been rebuilt and is a bustling cosmopolitan city. The most impressive part of the trip is a visit to the Russian memorial that commemorates all the Russians killed taking the city. The Russians never have admitted how many of their soldiers were killed in the battle. It is believed to be over a hundred thousand. All are buried in a mass grave at the memorial. They return to West Berlin through Checkpoint Charlie. It is an experience Bud will never forget! They make it back to Frankfort. After spending about four days here, Jack has had enough of the place so they bump a crew and move on.

On the flight back to Frankfurt, Cupid managed to stick Bud through the heart with another golden arrow. There was a German-born stewardess on the Pan Am flight whose looks stunned Bud. He would never forget her.

Another trip out of Chateauroux is to Italy – called the _Spaghetti Run_ by the troops. After a stop in Aviano, the aircraft breaks down in Pisa. There are two Air Force C-124 logistic squadrons that are apparently running a competition to see which one can cover the earth first with decals of their squadron emblem. One is an elephant holding a log with its trunk and the other is a chip monk or some other furry animal holding a log over its head with one paw. These decals are everywhere and Bud once saw one in a bar in Paris. He also saw them in whorehouses in Taiwan and Tachikawa. There are no quarters in Pisa so they are put up in a hotel downtown. Bud gets to his room, opens the window and leans out. There is the leaning tower bathed in light at the end of the street. Bud thinks he has really arrived on the international scene. When he opens the wardrobe to stow his bag there facing him is the chip monk holding the log! They spend four days in Pisa. One day they take the train to Florence to see the sights. When Bud got back from this trip he reads the _Agony and the Ecstasy_ , the story of Michaelangelo. He wishes he had read the book before he went to Florence instead of after.

When Bud was a bachelor, he never could understand why married men chased other women. After he had been married for six months to a year, he understood why. In that period of time, the novelty had worn off and he began to yearn for other women. Some men were meant to be monogamous, but Bud was not one of them. Monogamy was forced on men by religion and society. At least his marriage did not go totally south like some others.

Bud's first failure to resist temptation was an attempt to call Daphne. He could not get in touch with her as she had probably split from Dan and left the area. From then on, he was back in the hunt.

Twenty

Bud gets another trip out west – _The Trip from Hell._ The A/C commander is another 40 some-year old Lt. ex-enlisted alcoholic pilot. First stop is Barksdale AFB, Louisiana to pickup 25,000 pounds of rockets headed for Vietnam. By the time, the crew has had lunch and the aircraft is loaded, the main 12,000 ft. runway is closed for maintenance and Bud's flight is going to have to use the 5,000 ft. runway known locally as the Aero-Club runway. The only way to get to takeoff on the Aero-Club runway is to taxi to the opposite end. This entails a taxi down the entire runway, make an 180 degree turn and takeoff in the direction you just came from. Bud is flying from the left seat with the A/C in the right seat. After waiting for several landing aircraft, they are finally cleared to back track down the runway and takeoff. MATS has a rule that no checklists are to be performed while taxing. Bud is about to find out that that is a good sound rule. While taxing down the runway, he asked the A/C if the checklist is complete. The A/C says yes and adds they need to get out of here they are tying up the whole damn airport. Bud does the 180 at the end and begins the take off. When Bud gets to liftoff speed he pulls back on the yoke and the aircraft lifts off. But then the aircraft just hangs there at the minimum speed as they go roaring over a levee. Bud calls for the gear up. He looks ahead and sees a group of trees. He then makes a slight turn for a gap in the trees. The airplane finally starts accelerating and climbing. Bud's next call was unnecessary: "flaps up." The flaps were never put down in the first place! When everyone realizes what has happened, Bud laughs. The A/C tells Bud he can't believe he can laugh about it. Bud replies that he is happy to be alive! If they would have crashed with the 25,000 pounds of rockets on board, not enough body parts to fill a shoe box would have been found to send home.

Since the flight is carrying ordnance, they are sent to McClellan AFB – a less congested base than Travis. Landing in McClellan, Bud finds that one of the tires which needed air at Barksdale is now flat. On top of that, an engine fire warning light comes on. In a very short period of time, the airplane is surrounded by fire trucks like the Indians surrounded Custer. The fire warning light was a false indication. After a crew rest, a routine flight is made to Hawaii.

The next day, they head out for Wake Island. At least they have passed the rockets on to some other lucky crew. After takeoff, a generator is lost. They have to feather the engine and return to Hickam. Bud and the crew go to the back of the list - a strict first-in first-out system. Two more days are spent in Hawaii. Bud takes this opportunity to get together with some of his friends from flight training days that are stationed in Hawaii. He gets in touch with one, Dick Hall, and they spend some time together. Bud's buddy lives in a house in the hills with a spectacular pants dropping view overlooking Pearl Harbor. Bud gets to meet one of Dick's roommates and they all have dinner together. Several months later, Dick and his roommate are bicycling in the mountains. The roommate gets going too fast coming down a mountain, loses control of the bike, hits a tree, and is killed.

The crew is finally alerted and head out for Wake Island. Unfortunately, the flight engineer neglected to remove the nose gear safety pins – the gear will not retract. They have to return to Hickam for the second time. After the pin is removed, they proceed on their way. After crew rest at Wake, they pick up an unusual flight to Tachikawa AFB, Japan. This is Bud's first trip to Japan. Tachi as it is called has a fabulous bazaar. An old hangar is filled with Japanese merchants who sell everything imaginable – Mikimoto pearls, hi-fi equipment, cameras, watches, Japanese art work, motorcycles, etc. It is a shopper's paradise!

The crew gets alerted for a flight in the middle of the night to Iwo Jima, Marcus Island, and return. The Airlift Command Post Officer gives the A/C a briefing folder who in turn hands it to the navigator. They takeoff in the wee hours of the morning and after a three-hour flight land in Iwo just after dawn. They arrive just as the Air Force is raising the flag for the day. Some numb-nuts has screwed this up as the flag is run up upsides down. This is a distress signal. Little does Bud realize that their flight is shortly going to be in real distress. The flag raiser realizes his mistake and runs the flag up the right way. An Air Force man asks the A/C how much fuel he wants. The A/C says that they are OK and will get some at Marcus. Iwo is home to an Air Force weather station and a Coast Guard Loran station. They do not get along. As they are getting the standard tour around Iwo they passed a sign near the Coast Guard area that announces that they are now entering Iwo Jima Daylight Saving Time Zone. Bud is enjoying the Iwo tour since one of his uncles was a Marine during the invasion and his step-father was on a ship there at the same time. The trip includes a visit to the top of Mt. Suribachi where the famous flag was raised.

It is almost a three-hour flight to Marcus Island. Bud is flying. Marcus is a triangular shaped island about one mile down each side. It was bypassed by the U.S. during WW II and was used for milk run bombing practice. It is presently the location of a Coast Guard Loran station. The briefing folder advises to first make a low pass over the runway to let them know you are there. Bud does this and then comes around for a landing on the 4,000 ft. coral runway. When he is on short final, a flock of seagulls take to the air right in front of him. Bud asks the A/C what does he want him to do. The A/C says to go ahead and land. Bud plows through the flock of seagulls and takes numerous hits on the nose and windshield in the process. Bud brings the aircraft to a halt among a cloud of coral dust and taxis back to where a group of vehicles are gathered. The engines are shutdown and everyone checks out the nose of the aircraft. It seems to be no worse for the wear other than the bird blood. The A/C tells the Coast Guard Lt. in charge that we are going to need some fuel. The Lt. replies that they only have it in 55 gallon drums.

Everyone murmurs a collective: "Oh shit!"

A quick look at the briefing folder reveals an instruction to be sure and refuel at Iwo. If the A/C had read the folder like he was supposed to do they would not be in this predicament. The A/C and the navigator sharpen their pencils and come to the conclusion that they have enough fuel to make it back to Tachi. Bud hopes they are right since there is nothing but water between Marcus and Japan. If they are wrong the crew is going for a swim. The briefing folder advises to takeoff, orbit, and obtain an ATC clearance before proceeding on course – right! They take off and point the sucker at Tachi. It is a 3.8 hour flight back to Tachi. When they arrive the weather is so bad they have to land at nearby Yokota Air Force Base which has lower landing minimums than Tachi. They land with 2000 pounds of fuel remaining. That is not much and is about enough for about one or two more approaches.

After crew rest, they get assigned a trip to the Philippines. It is an all night flight down there. Everyone had been up all day and is beat. The Second Pilot (2P) is flying. He is falling in and out of sleep and really not watching the store. He flies the airplane right into the top of a thunderstorm. The super water saturated clouds produce one of the most spectacular displays of St. Elmo's Fire (a bluish-white plasma caused by the release of electrons) Bud has ever seen. He looks out the window at the two right engines and sees the props as two beautiful circles of blue flame.

The rest of the trip, thank God, is relatively routine. After the Philippines they are sent to Okinawa, Midway, Travis, and home. The A/C later winds up getting himself in big trouble. He is on a trip to Vietnam. He is on crew rest somewhere along the line and gets alerted for a trip. When he shows up the airplane is broken. MATS had a rule that crews have to wait four hours, called pounding the ramp, for an aircraft to be fixed – after that they can return to crew rest. He figures that they will never fix it in four hours so he returns to the BOQ and starts drinking. It so happens that maintenance fixes the aircraft in less than four hours and the A/C gets a call to return to the flight. He replies that he can't go because he has been drinking. There are no other crews available. So here sits an airplane in the middle of the war that can't go because some A/C has been drinking. VR-3s CO gets a telephone call from the Commanding General of MATS in the Pacific about three in the morning. The General reads the CO the riot act and tells him that he never wants to see that SOB A/C in the Pacific again. So, the A/C earns the distinction of being the only A/C in MATS to be banned from the Pacific!

Twenty-One

Somebody at MATS headquarters comes up with a brainstorm as C-130 flights increased to Vietnam. MATS started operating a C-130 pipeline to Vietnam via the Great Circle route from Alaska to Japan. This presented several problems. The primary one is that this routing is into the teeth of the prevailing winds which are normally in the direction of Japan to Alaska. The jet stream can get very low at these latitudes and reach over 100 miles an hour at the C-130's cruising altitudes. The secondary problem is that this area has some of the world's worst weather. Bud flew this routing once. As it was the flight had to stop at Shemya Island in the Aleutians for fuel. Bud's flight made it OK. Others were not so lucky. Half the time Shemya is down for weather and cannot be used. Flights were encountering extreme head winds and were having to return to Anchorage. The C-141 had more range and this routing worked good for it.

After a couple months this routing was abandoned for the C-130. MATS finally settled on a mid-Pacific route westbound with rest stops in Hawaii, Wake Island, Okinawa/Philippines, Vietnam and then home via Japan and Alaska. Since none of the legs on this routing were excessive, a basic crew consisting of two pilots and one navigator were used. It was a very efficient operation. Crews were pre-positioned at the various crew rest locations. When the aircraft was about two hours out, the crew would get alerted. The crew would proceed to operations and prepare the flight plan for the next destination. When the flight landed, the incoming crew would go into crew rest. The aircraft would be refueled and serviced. The new crew would board the aircraft with a minimum of ground time and proceed on their way. With the large tailwinds, the leg from Japan to Alaska was a piece of cake. Once over Shemya, Bud checked in with them as required on radio. Shemya reported their weather as 0/0 - zero ceiling, zero visibility, blowing snow and wind at 100 miles an hour! A _white-out_! They added that the tower had been abandoned due to the high winds!

Andersen AFB on Guam is not on the normal pipeline. But on occasion, flights are sent there with cargo for them. Andersen is primarily a B-52 base that bombs Vietnam on a regular basis. As usual, the various transit crews are sitting around the Officer's Club drinking one afternoon talking about sex and sports. The club is staffed with local Guamanians who are really not up with the American culture. When a telephone call arrives for a particular officer, the Guamanians page him on the PA system. One of the guys gets an idea and goes to the phone booths.

Here comes a page: "Major Richard Nixon, you have a telephone call."

It is a hoot and everyone is rolling on the floor.

It gets worse! "Captain John Wayne, you have a phone call."

It goes on and on. Andersen has one of the most beautiful swimming beaches in the world. It is on a cove surrounded by lush green hills. The beach itself is of lovely white sand. Guam is only about 13 degrees of latitude north of the Equator and is very hot. Bud and the crew go to the beach. Bud takes pains to insure that he keeps plenty of suntan lotion on to keep from getting burned. Bud did a good job of this with the exception of the tops of his feet which are covered in sand. Bud figures the sand will protect him from the sun. Wrong! The tops of Bud's feet get burned and he spends a miserable next couple of days.

Another staging point not normally on the pipeline, was Clark Air Force Base in the Philippines. Bud's crew arrives during the monsoon season. All it does is rain. Clark is extremely crowded and congested. Instead of an air conditioned BOQ, Bud's crew is billeted in un-air conditional base housing quarters. Bud opens up the closet and there is a large lit light bulb in it to fight mildew. Bud goes to the Officer's Club and runs into Johnny King, one of Bud's Air Force buddies from Tennessee. King and his crew are based in Hawaii and fly the Douglas C-124 Globemaster – commonly known as _Old Shaky_. King and his crew had just had a harrowing experience and were celebrating being alive. King had a mission to fly a fire truck to Vietnam.

King said: "When I got to the airplane, the first thing I ask was if the water had been drained out of the truck and I was assured that it had."

After liftoff, the aircraft refuses to climb or accelerate. King firewalls the throttles. He manages somehow to make a 180 degree turn and return to the field. They get the airplane back on the runway in one piece. What happened? The water had not been drained out of the truck and the aircraft was over 20,000 pounds overweight! All four engines will have to be changed. Bud gets back to his quarters. Everything is damp including the sheets of Bud's bed which he gingery lowers his back onto. What a miserable night!

Bud thinks: _Well, it is better than a foxhole in Vietnam_!

The normal Pacific routing takes the crews to Kadena AFB on Okinawa. The rooms are crowded but have refrigerators stocked with beer and soft drinks. When you check out, you pay for how many you had. All one has to do is place his boots and dirty laundry outside the door in the morning. By the afternoon your laundry is clean and your boots are shined – all for a nominal fee. Kadena also has the best Officer's Club Bud has ever seen. Apparently the club makes quite a bit of money from its many slot machines. Bud happens on one occasion to spend two nights in a row at Kadena. The first night the club is having _Stag Night -_ your choice of a T-bone or filet mignon steak for fifty cents. Beer or mixed drinks are ten cents. There is also live entertainment. The next night is "Two for One Night." Whatever you order, you get two. You order a steak, you get two. You order a beer, you get two beers! The club also has a restaurant that is open 24 hours a day to cater to the many transient crews. You can get eggs and bacon or a steak any time of the day. Bud's favorite is the barber shop. Bud usually skips shaving the day before he is schedule to arrive at Kadena. A haircut, a shampoo, and a shave, along with hot towels, cost twenty five cents apiece. The barbers are all female and finish you off with a back and neck massage. Throw in another twenty five cents tip and you feel like a new man for $1!

Bud is on a crew rest at Kadena and takes a walk to the base exchange (store). He runs into a guy that he knew from flight training. They engaged in a conversation about what each were doing. The other guy told Bud that he was unable to qualify on night carrier landings with the F-4 Phantom. He was now the station pilot at Naha, a naval facility on Okinawa flying C-54s. It used to be Navy policy that a pilot like him would have his wings pulled. The Navy wisely came to the conclusion that this policy was a waste of resources. After having spent a considerable amount of time and money training a pilot, he could be utilized for something!

On the way home, the flights are routed through Elmendorf AFB, Anchorage Alaska. There is a ski slope right on the base, so Bud gets introduced to skiing. Before leaving Elmendorf, a no-go item is a ten pound box of frozen King crabs legs from the Officer's Club for a ridiculously cheap price – a dollar or so a pound. The crab legs are put next to the skin at the back of the aircraft and remain frozen for the trip home. A trip out to Vietnam and back usually takes about 10 ten days- sometimes longer. Bud goes from swimming at Waikiki Beach to skiing in Alaska. It is a wardrobe challenge but a lot of fun. The box of crab legs goes a long way. Fanny will pull a few legs out of the freezer and throw a couple of baked potatoes in the oven. With a salad and wine, they enjoyed a great dinner often. While we are on the subject of seafood, Bud has a flight with a rare stop in Newfoundland en route to McGuire. One of the guys suggests they order lobsters. They radio ahead and the lobsters are there when the flight arrives. The lobsters are cheap enough but not in those cute little boxes with seaweed like one buys at the Boston airport. Instead the lobsters are in open topped cardboard boxes. It is about a four hour flight to McGuire. After debriefing, Bud arrives at the apartment a few hours later. Fanny is still at work. Bud relaxes with a few drinks and takes a look at his lobsters. The box is pretty quiet. Bud gets the bright idea of freshening them up so he fills the tub with water and puts the lobster in. Now it gets real quiet! Fortunately Fanny arrives home. There is no time for the usual lovemaking greetings and present opening as Fanny puts the pot on the stove and cooks the lobsters. Bud has learned another lesson. Lobsters drown in fresh water!

Twenty-Two

Bud and Fanny take a little trip to see Niagara Falls. It is a very enjoyable ride since rural Western Pennsylvania and New York is very beautiful countryside. At Niagara Falls, Bud comes to the conclusion that the town is filled with crazy people. The young locals are constantly passing Bud's car blowing the horn, pointing and laughing. Seeing the out-of-state license plate, the locals have assumed Bud and Fanny are newlyweds on their honeymoon. Even so, Bud does not see what possibly could be so amusing. He feels like putting a sign on their car – _We are not on our honeymoon - F-off!_

Bud finally reaches the required 1,500 pilot hours to qualify for aircraft commander. After passing his local check ride, a Flight Examiner accompanies Bud on a trip to check him on the line. Bud's Examiner is Jack Bennett – another of the ex-enlisted pilots, but one of the good ones! After a refueling stop at Prestwick, Bud executes an approach at minimum weather at Frankfurt. After a crew rest in Frankfurt, the flight goes on to Keflavik, Iceland. Keflavik is an interesting place. An American air base was first established there during WW II to counter the German U-boats. A large American military presence was also there during the Cold War. The Icelandic government is very strict and rarely allows American servicemen off the base. This policy was a matter of survival. At the time, Iceland only had a population of about 150,000. American servicemen were marrying off so many of the good looking Scandinavian woman and taking them back to the States that the country was going to a negative population growth. There was a story of an Air Force Colonel who managed to hook up with one of the locals who worked on the base. While performing fellatio on him, she got overly excited or had some kind of seizure and bit down on him quite severely. Well, the bite gets infected and the Colonel has to be medically evacuated back to the States. The Colonel has a wife and family back home. That must have taken some explaining. Your husband is being medically evacuated because he almost got his willy bitten in half!

From Keflavik, the next stop is Thule, Greenland. Bud figures the check ride is going OK. He offers the Examiner the landing at Thule. The Examiner says that he is afraid to because Bud is greasing (making good landings) so many of them on. Bud once spent four days at Thule. It was the middle of the summer and the sun never went down. One has to go to bed and get up by the clock rather than the sun. One night the crew plays cards and before they know it, it is three o'clock in the morning! This trip, however, is only for refueling. While the crew is performing the pre-takeoff checks, the fuel flow gauges all drop to zero. If they return for maintenance there is no telling when they will ever get out of there. Bud talks it over with the rest of the crew while the Examiner listens in.

Bud says: "Well, all four engines are running. It is no telling how long it will take to get this fixed. I am going to press on."

Apparently this was the right answer because the Examiner said nothing. Just after takeoff, the fuel flow gauges start working again.

Although Bud is now qualified as A/C, he gets assigned one last trip as a copilot to Pope AFB, North Carolina. The mission is dropping paratroopers. More specifically, they are dropping pathfinder teams of a dozen or so men that goes in early to the drop zone and prepare for the arrival of the main force. There are also C-130 crews there from VR-22 at Norfolk and Air Force 130 crews from Charleston, South Carolina. The drill is normally two one and half hour flights a day – one in the morning and one in the afternoon. There is a lot of sitting around between the flights. Someone has brought along a football, so the crews pass the time playing touch football games between the enlisted men and the officers. The officers always win. Primarily because Ed Cain, who played quarterback in college, plays for the officers. At the end of the first day's flying as the crews are walking away from the aircraft, he hears the Charleston crew discussing where they were going to go tonight. Bud asks what they are talking about. He is told that the Wing Commander at Charleston requires that the crews put eight hours of flying on the airplane a day. It seems that Wing Commanders are evaluated on how many hours or utilization they get on their aircraft a day. Whether or not they accomplish anything does not matter. So while the other crews are having a few beers and having dinner, the Charleston crews are boring useless holes in the sky. Bud is at Pope about five days.

Twenty-Three

VR-3's CO has gotten his butt in a crack. When one flies into the Vietnam Combat Zone, they receive combat pay of about $75 plus a couple hundred dollar income tax deduction. The ideal situation is to fly into Vietnam during the last few hours of a month and depart the first hours of the next month thereby earning two months of benefits. It turned out that the flight the CO is on is close to fulfilling the two month requirement – but not quite. The flight logs are falsified to get the two months of benefits. Bud's immediate boss is on a flight right behind the CO's and tells Bud all about it. Bud's boss knows the claim cannot be true and blows the whistle.

He tells Bud: "I know the CO would bust a crew who did this. I figured what is good for the goose is good for the gander."

One of Bud's friends was a navigator of the flight in question and said the CO was the one who pushed the deal. This is fraud and a court-martial offence. Why in the world would a high ranking officer who is a graduate of the Naval Academy do such a thing for a few bucks? It defies belief! The CO gets chewed out by the Wing Commander who makes him correct the logs. The only thing that saved the CO from being fired was, in all probability the fact that the Wing Commander could not fire two COs in such a short period of time. It would reflect on the Wing Commander.

After four years as a commissioned officer, Bud is promoted to lieutenant, the Army and Air Force equivalent of captain. This promotion is almost automatic and no officer in the squadron has been passed over for this promotion. You really have to be screwed up to get passed over for lieutenant. From here on, promotions get a lot harder.

Since Bud and Fanny do not have any children, Bud volunteers for the Chateauroux stage over Christmas. Bud suggests that Fanny spend Christmas with his family in Baltimore. Fanny, however, is a real trooper and guts out Christmas by herself in Trenton. The flight to Chateauroux is via Madrid. At Madrid, a Spanish built JU-52 or Iron Annie is parked near Bud's plane and he walks over for a look. It is the crudest aircraft Bud has ever seen and can't believe they are still flying it. First of all the skin is corrugated aluminum. As a matter of fact, _The Corrugated_ was the German nickname for it. The cabin door is not locked so Bud climbs aboard and goes to the cockpit. Many of the controls look like pieces of pipe with bicycle handle grips on them. Some of the engine instruments such as oil quantity are site gauges located outside on the engines! After Madrid, the flight stops at Moron and Zaragosa, former B-47 bases now manned by Air Force caretakers on a standby basis. On the Spanish side of one of the airbases, Bud notices that they are still flying Spanish built Messerschmitt 109s

Christmas at Chateauroux is pretty grim. All of the locals are off spending Christmas skiing in the Alps. The Officer's Club is open but practically deserted. On the 27th, Bud departs on a Spaghetti run that ends with a crew rest in Athens. One of the stops is at Brindisi. Once the departure point for Roman legions, Brindisi is now a training base for the Italian Air Force. The next day he has a flight to Nicosia, Cyprus and Tel Aviv, Israel. Tel Aviv is a diplomatic supply mission so the crew goes to the airline terminal. At the airline terminal one finds lots of attractive female El Al passenger service agents – in all probability some of the best looking women in Israel. Let's put it this way, these girls did not get their jobs because of their kosher cooking skills. Of course the crew is flirting with these girls and hoping the aircraft breaks down so they can spend the night here. But it is not to be. After being unloaded and refueled, it is back to Athens and crew rest.

The next day Bud proceeds back to Chateauroux with a stop in Naples. The aircraft breaks down and Bud goes into crew rest. Bud has a flight training buddy here flying with VR-24. This squadron flies COD (Carrier Onboard Delivery) missions in support of the Sixth Fleet. They fly the transport version of the S2F, the C-1 Trader - essentially the same aircraft Bud flew in Advanced Training. Bud's buddy takes him to a fellow officer's apartment that is situated on a Neapolitan hillside for a cocktail party. Besides a housekeeper, the apartment features a tree in the foyer whose trunk has been built around. The airplane has been fixed by the next day and they head back to Chateauroux.

After spending New Years Eve at Chateauroux, Bud and his crew head out the next day for Africa. After a stop at Wheelus AFB in Libya, they fly to Adana for a crew rest. The next day it is a 7.3 hour flight to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. Electronic navigation aids are virtually non-existence in this part of the world and it is very similar to flying over the ocean. Bud's new navigator almost misses the place and Bud has to spiral down for landing. The flight apparently has diplomatic cargo for Addis Ababa since it is Ethiopia's capital. Although Ethiopia is a very poor country, the crew is put up at a first-class hotel. The next day, the crew flies to the northern town of Asmara. The U.S. has a military presence here in the form of a large communications facility. During WW II the Germans discovered from this location radio messages could be sent around the world with a minimum of relays. The U.S. is the current resident. Also present at Asmara is an Air Force aerial mapping C-130. The U.S. is aerial mapping the country for the Ethiopian government. To fly to Ethiopia, a diplomatic clearance is required over Egypt and the Sudan that has a time limit. When the flight is delayed, the crew has to go to crew rest and another diplomatic clearance obtained for the next day. In Asmara, the crew stays at the American compound. The next day, they depart from Asmara. Asmara is located on the edge of the Eritrean highlands at an elevation of 7,600 feet. This is the highest elevation Bud has taken off from. The aircraft does not perform very well at this elevation and can barely takeoff. As Bud is approaching Cairo, it is clear as a bell! He can see the Mediterranean Sea ahead and what appears to be a very large bay. Bud does not believe the flight instruments because he is supposed to be flying to Cairo. As the aircraft gets closer, Bud finally realizes that he is seeing the Nile Valley which is green rather than water. Beyond the green is nothing but desert. Over Cairo, Bud observes the pyramids which can be clearly seen.

After a crew rest at Adana, it is back to Chateauroux and home the next day. Their routing is via the Azores and Bermuda. Electronic navigation aids such as DME (Distance Measuring Equipment) have a range of about 200 miles. When approaching land from the ocean, Bud usually tunes the radios to the land stations about an hour out. Using the navigators estimate, Bud tunes in the radio about an hour away. The DME at Lajes immediately bangs in at about 35 miles – they are right on top of the place. The navigator has done it to Bud again. Bud figures you really can't trust anyone in this business. Well, Bud has to spiral on down to land at Lajes. The rest of the flight home is made without more incidents. Bud does not give the navigator a very good evaluation report.

The other person on the crew which Bud did not give a good performance report on was one of his copilots. This was the guy's first trip in the squadron and consequently has no idea what international flying is about. Bud tells him not to attempt to pronounce the names of the radio stations but instead use their three letter phonetic IDs. As an example, the ID of the Kennedy radio is JFK. The proper way to say this would be "Juliet, Foxtrot, Kilo." The copilot does not listen and continues to butcher the pronunciations. In the C-130, the pilots usually rotate flying legs. The A/C flies the first leg from the left seat. On the next leg, the 1P flies from the left seat and the A/C occupies the right seat – and so on. Bud finally gets fed up with the new pilot and bans him to the right seat to talk to air traffic control. When the crew gets back to McGuire, the new copilot goes home to his apartment and finds it cleaned out with his wife and child gone! Apparently his wife thought he was screwed up too! Part of Bud's recommendation in his report on this guy was to send him out next time with a more senior officer than Bud. Maybe he would listen better. The new copilot's next trip is out to the Pacific with a Lt.Cdr. A/C.

This A/C did not have much fun with him either and says when he got back: "I was out there by myself!"

Twenty- Four

While we are on the subject of bad pilots, two of Bud's contemporaries fit that bill. Neither one will fly a trip as aircraft commander. The first guy was Joe Grant. Joe was a Naval Academy graduate and that fact is probably the reason he made it through flight training. Naval Academy graduates are the Navy's fair haired boys and they really take care of them. Joe did some incredibly stupid things in the air. The method of flying the C-130 long distances is to continually step-climb it. As the aircraft weight is reduced by burning fuel, the aircraft is climbed 2,000 ft. This is the most fuel efficient method and produces the best range. Joe is flying the aircraft with the A/C in the right seat and a 2,000 ft. climb is requested from Air Traffic Control. It usually takes about 10 minutes to get a clearance to climb. The A/C gets up and goes to the rear to relieve himself. In a few minutes he returns to the cockpit to find the aircraft climbing.

The A/C asks Joe: "Did we get a clearance so soon?"

Joe replies: "No, but I am anticipating it!"

On another occasion, Joe's flight is west bound and is about to penetrate the ADIZ (Air Defense Identification Zone). This is the height of the Cold War, and penetrating the ADIZ is taken very seriously. Aircraft have a time and a window to hit. An aircraft that is too far off course can get a violation or even worse be intercepted by a fighter. Well, on this particular flight, the navigator is sweating bullets approaching the ADIZ when he looks up and discovers Joe is flying the aircraft 30 degrees off the assigned heading.

He screams at Joe: "What are you doing!"

Joe replies that he is going around a cloud buildup ahead.

The Nav comes back: "Fuck the clouds. Get back on the heading I gave you."

Joe's neighbors in base housing said that he was also known to beat his German Sheppard dog while saying: "Nigger, nigger, nigger."

Joe managed to get his 20 years in and retire, but only made it to Lt.Cdr. – below the normal career rank achievement.

The other case was Bill Kelly. Kelly barely made it through flight training. He was having trouble in advanced training in Corpus Christi. Being married, the Navy made Bill send his wife and kids home so he could move into the BOQ and concentrate on his flying. He was on a flight in VR-3 and dozed off. When he woke up he was incoherent and did not know where he was. The A/C told him to see the flight surgeon when they got back home. Nothing came of that. Kelly decided to stay in the Navy. His next assignment was to the training command. There he washed out of the instructor's school and had his wings pulled. He then left the Navy. Wouldn't it have been better to stop this four years earlier and let Kelly get on with his life? Nursing the weak sister through only postponed the inevitable and made the resulting adjustment to another career more difficult.

So what happened to these two was that their last duty in the squadron was to qualify as aircraft commanders. As intended, they were not allowed to command a flight. They would be sent on to their next assignment with the letter of qualification as aircraft commander in their jackets. The buck was passed to let someone else deal with the problem.

Back at McGuire, Bud is planning for the future since he is scheduled to get out of the Navy in about six months. The airlines are in an expansion period and hiring like crazy. The pilots who are getting out of the Navy are coming back to the squadron and telling the guys about the interview process. By this and other information supplied by the furloughed airline pilots presently at McGuire, Bud is fairly well informed on the subject. Bud likes the Navy, but when the lifestyle and compensation of the airlines is compared to the Navy, it is a no-brainer! Bud and Fanny want to live in the South. Their first choice would be Atlanta. Bud applies for a job at Dixie, National, and Braniff. Dixie is first choice because their primary base and headquarters are in Atlanta. Bud also likes National because pilots start out as a Lockheed Electra co-pilot and their only crew base is in Miami. Braniff is a backup in case the first two don't work out. Braniff sends a letter saying they are not hiring. He never hears from National. Dixie sends him a letter with an invitation for an interview. Bud is flown free by Dixie to Atlanta where he goes through the interview process. The greatest amount of time is spent in psychological testing and interview. A few weeks after arriving home, Bud receives a job offer from Dixie. He sends a telegram with his acceptance back to Dixie.

Later, Bud is on a trip out to Vietnam and is at Travis AFB, California filing a flight plan for Hawaii. Into operations walks a Braniff crew on a MAC charter. After Braniff sent Bud a letter saying they were not hiring, a couple of months later Braniff places an ad in Air Force Times newspaper requesting pilots. Bud never heard back from them. The Braniff captain is the stereotype airline captain of the day – ex-WW II pilot, gruff, cigarette smoking, heavy drinker, and a little rough around the edges. Bud tells the captain his experience with Braniff.

The captain says; "Well, personnel is a little fucked up, why don't you write them a letter."

Bud tells him that he doesn't know if he will do that since he already has a job offer from Dixie.

The captain steps back then asks Bud: "You already have a job with Dixie?"

Bud says: "Yes sir!"

The captain then says: "Son, if I was you, I wouldn't look any further!"

One of the guys from the squadron got hired by American Airlines. Since the initial ground school was being held at LaGuardia in New York, the guy found a place to live about 45 minutes east on Long Island. On the first Monday of ground school, he left his apartment at 7 a.m. giving him an extra 15 minutes to arrive at 8 a.m. – he arrived at 10 a.m. The next morning he left at 6 a.m. only to arrive at 9 a.m. The next morning he left at 5 a.m. and arrived at 5:45 a.m. Such is life in the Big Apple.

Twenty-Five

There are several over-sexed guys in the squadron. One of the fellows in particular is Charlie Briggs. It has been said that he would stick his dick in a wood pile if he thought a snake was there. Briggs gets himself involved in two classic incidents. Charlie is on a crew rest at Hickam AFB where he hooks up with some inebriated Air Force nurse at the O'Club. Charlie, also inebriated, and the nurse go looking for a place to make out. The BOQ is jammed full and there are no empty rooms. Charlie finds the door open to a linen closet and takes the nurse in there to do his thing. A little later, Charlie hears some noise outside the door. It is one of the maids. Charlie grabs the door handle as the little Oriental maid tries to enter the closet. As the maid is struggling to open the door, a rather large Air Force Colonel in a flight suit comes wandering down the corridor and sees the maid struggling with the door. The Colonel lends his assistance and rips the door open revealing Charlie and the nurse in various states of dress. Charlie and the nurse are too drunk to be overly embarrassed. The most embarrassed person present happens to be the Colonel who utters his profound apologies and beats a hasty retreat.

In the second instance, Charlie is on a crew rest drinking with a new navigator in the squadron. The navigator allows that he and his wife have an open marriage and allow each other to have sex outside of the marriage. Charlie says that his wife and he have the same agreement. Of course, Charlie is lying through his teeth as usual. His wife is a religious zealot and would kill him if she knew what he was up to. When they get back to McGuire, Charlie invites the navigator and his wife over to dinner with him and his wife. The navigator's wife found Charlie to be acceptable and a time is arranged for a tryst. At the time agreed, the navigator takes his kids to a movie for a couple of hours and Charlie comes over and does the dirty deed on the wife. When the navigator asks for a reciprocal session, Charlie comes up with some excuse. Charlie has another sexual session with the navigator's wife. When the navigator asks again for reciprocation he is put off again. When Charlie asks for a third session, the navigator puts his foot down and says not until he gets his due. Well, the navigator finally comes to the realization that both he and wife have both been screwed by Charlie – one literally and the other figuratively.

Another infamous cocksman in the squadron is Doug Jones. Doug is a late- 20s Lt. who recently settled down and married a 20 year-old girl. Doug got back from a trip. When he got to his apartment, he finds his wife at work as expected. What he didn't expect to find was his 40ish divorced mother-in-law in town for a visit. Well, Doug and the mother-in-law start drinking. One thing leads to another, and the young bride arrives home to find her husband in bed with her mother. That was the end of that marriage as well as that mother/daughter relationship! When Bud hears this story he muses that this is one thing Fanny will never have to worry about! Fanny's mother looks like Ma Kettle! If Bud had ever thought Fanny would look like her mother some day, he never would have married her!

Towards the end of the month, Bud gets assigned a trip to Frankfurt, Iceland, Thule, and back to McGuire. En route to Iceland, Bud is in the bunk and gets handed a piece of paper with a Red weather forecast for Keflavik. Bud decides to press on. About 50 miles out, it is clear as a bell and Bud can see the lights of the airport. He figures the weatherman has blown another one. On short final approach, Bud finds out what they were talking about. He flies into a blanket of blowing snow about 50 ft. thick that reduced the visibility to less than a mile. The wind is blowing about 30 mph and during taxi; the aircraft is sliding all over the place. After dropping off their cargo and refueling, they head for Thule. Since this is a relatively short trip by the squadron's standards, the navigators are using it for check rides and the flight has a navigator, a navigator instructor, and a navigator examiner on the crew. On the flight out of Thule, the navigator decides he is going to practice Grid Navigation, which is used when flying near the magnetic north pole. After a while, he gets lost and goes and gets the navigator instructor. The two of them are looking through the sextant and apparently they are also lost. Now they go and get the navigator examiner and all three appear to be lost. Bud is watching this show with amusement. He picks up the microphone and uses the call sign of the air defense radar system. Almost immediately he gets a reply and asks for a fix.

"This is Hall Beach. At 0135 Zulu Time your flight was at such and such latitude north and such and such a longitude west."

Some poor slob sitting out in the middle of some God forsaken spot is watching the flight on radar all the way! Bud writes the information down and laughingly hands it to the lost navigators. In January 1966, the word police are hard at work, and MATS became the Military Airlift Command (MAC).

Twenty-Six

McGuire AFB was originally known as the Ft. Dix Army Air Field and was built during WW II. The airfield was closed for a few years after the war, but in 1948 the newly created U.S. Air Force built a new base on the north side of the airfield and added a 10,000 ft. runway over the old northeast/southwest runway. The original north/south runway was retained. The base was initially assigned to the Strategic Air Command. In 1954, the base was reassigned to MATS. In the mid-1960s a little bit of everything was at McGuire. The primary units were the MAC C-135s and C-130s. Secondary units were an AF Reserve C-119 Flying Boxcar squadron, a New Jersey Air National Guard F-105 Thunderchief squadron, some Ft. Dix Army aircraft, and finally an F-106 interceptor squadron of the Air Defense Command. VR-3 was housed in the oldest building on the base, the old Ft. Dix AAF operations building located to the side of the north end of the north/south runway.

As Bud was returning from lunch one afternoon, he observed an F-106 make a very hairy approach and eventual go-around to the south runway as he was parking his car. The primary runway was closed for maintenance and the south runway was in use despite a moderate crosswind. Bud decided to watch the next landing. The F-106 makes another unsuccessful approach. By now several other officers and men are in the parking lot watching the show. The F-106 makes another missed approach. Finally the F-106 makes a good looking approach except he does not touchdown and instead floats down the runway. The aircraft's speed decreases to the point that the aircraft weather vanes to the left, goes off the runway, rolls over, and bursts into flames. Everyone is standing there aghast with their jaws hanging open. The F-106 pilot dies of injuries. Bud later learns that the pilot was dealing with some serious family problems. His wife had just given birth, was going through postpartum depression and refused to even look at her baby. He probably shouldn't have even been flying in the first place!

The Officer's Wives' Clubs are a time-honored institution of the U.S. military. At McGuire, VR-3's club was presided over by the CO's wife. Fanny gets invited to a wives get-together. She described it as drinking, gossip, more drinking, cards, and more drinking. For one thing, Fanny drank very little. For another, Fanny said the only thing they talked about were their children and dogs. Fanny said that since she had neither, she did not have too much to say. Anyway, Fanny is a man's type of woman and does not generally like other woman. As a matter of fact, Fanny is the favorite of the squadron's bachelors and is usually the center of attention at squadron parties. This was Fanny's first and last Officer's Wives meeting. At another meeting, a group of women were sitting around in a group discussing what their husbands got up to (or more precisely into) on their trips. One of the new wives volunteered that she heard that a certain pilot and named him, was known to be a notorious ladies man. Unbeknown to her, the wife of the gentleman in question was sitting across from her!

Why is it that women always use nicknames and vague pronouns when it comes to anything relating to sex?

"Let's do it!"

"We went all the way!"

"My top is sore," means "My breasts hurt!"

Bud's high school girlfriend ask him to: "Kiss me down there!"

Bud had never done that before, but had a pretty good idea what she meant. As he headed south he should have asked her: "Let me know when I am getting warm!"

A penis is "Your thing" or "It."

Testicles are "Your things."

Fanny was prone to getting vaginal infections. When one of her girlfriends also got an infection, Bud asked if it was the same as Fanny's.

Fanny replied that "It was the other part of her" – whatever that was!

Twenty-Seven

Bud's next trip is back to the Chateauroux stage. The weather all over Europe is down so the flight is routed the Southern route through Lajes in the Azores. When they get to Lajes, the weather is still down at Frankfurt so the crew goes into crew rest. Lajes is an interesting place. It is located in the Azores Islands about 1000 miles west of Portugal and is a possession of Portugal. The U. S. military first used the airfield during WW II as a refueling stop and an antisubmarine base against the German U-boats, although Portugal was officially neutral. The base was home to KB-50s (the tanker version of the B-50 - an upgrade of the B-29)) until those aircraft were retired in 1965. In early 1966, the field is primarily used for refueling trans-Atlantic flights. There is also a Naval Air Facility there for anti-submarine missions. The base population is quite sparse since the departure of the KB-50s. Lajes is notorious for its strong crosswinds that sometimes closed down the airfield. Bud once took off with a 29 knot crosswind – the C-130's maximum allowable. Lajes two treasures are the outstanding local bread and Rose Matus wine. There is an ongoing battle between McGuire's crews and the local U.S. Customs at McGuire which claims that Rose Matus is a sparkling wine and tax it at the same rate as champagne. Bud's crew has dinner at the Officer's Club. Crews are cautioned not to tip the waiters too much. The Azores have a very poor economy and it has been said that the waiters at the O'Club are the richest men on the island – making more money than the island's governor. At the club is a tank with live lobsters. Since they are quite cheap, Bud decides to splurge and have one weighing several pounds. This turns out to be a mistake since the old boy turns out to be on the tough side. Bud reasons that he should have had two little ones instead. The next day the weather has improved so the flight heads out to Frankfurt and then to Chateauroux.

On the trips out West, a basic crew was utilized consisting of two pilots and one navigator. On the other hand, trips to Chateauroux used an augmented crew of three pilots and two navigators. Usually, two of the officers were put up in one room and the aircraft commander given a room to himself. On one particular crew rest in Chateauroux, apparently the BOQ was quite full and Bud, as the aircraft commander, was put up with an Air Force major. The major's home base was in Wiesbaden, Germany and his job took him to all of the air bases in Europe. Bud arrived late in the evening as the major was getting ready to turn in. The major and Bud were both history buffs and their conversation centered on this subject. Bud remarked that World War II was a rather remarkable time in history in that so many regimes, the Germans, Russians, and Japanese were all homicidal maniacs. The major went on to say that the Germans resorted to death to solve their problems. If the Third Reich was suppose to last 1000 years, why didn't they just sterilize the Jews. In time, all of the Jews would be eliminated. The major told Bud that he and his family lived on the Germany economy and he had a former German panzer WW II veteran as a neighbor. The major and the German had become quite good friends. The major said that he had been away for several weeks when Kennedy was assassinated. When he finally returned to Wiesbaden, the German told him how very sorry he was about the tragedy.

The German added: "I was very disappointed in the United States. If it was as great of a country as I thought it was, they would have killed everyone in Dallas!"

Bud went on to say that all the Belgians, French, and Dutch do is bitch about the German occupation during WW II. After the war and rearmed by the U.S., the Belgians went back to the Congo, the French to Algeria and Vietnam, and the Dutch to Indonesia and acted just as ruthless as the German in some areas. In their eyes it was different –what hypocrisy!

Bud's first trip out of Chateauroux is a one-day jaunt to Frankfurt, Mildenhall, and back to Chateauroux. That was followed the next day by a five-day trip to the eastern Mediterranean. Back at Chateauroux, Bud's crew has a few days off before being sent back to the Eastern Med for another four days. They arrived back at Chateauroux too late in the evening on a Friday night to do anything so they sit around the BOQ and enjoyed a few beers.

On Saturday, the Officer's Club is going to celebrate its new renovation with an open bar from 4 to 6 p.m. Bud has checked with the Command Post and is told they will probably get alerted for a flight about midnight. Bud tells the crew that they will attend the open bar but will knock it off after that in preparation for the flight. Bud finds himself hanging around with a cute nurse and a very ugly fat schoolteacher. The nurse is coming on to Bud big time. At one time she comes and sits on Bud's lap. Well, the two hours of the open bar goes by in a flash and Bud presses on while the rest of the crew returns to the BOQ. Finally around nine or so, Bud is at a table with the nurse while the schoolteacher is still hanging around.

The schoolteacher then drops the bomb and says:"Bud you're married aren't you?"

When Bud replies to the affirmative he sees the cute nurse's jaw drop open. After about five minutes, the nurse excuses herself for some reason or the other and disappears. Bud is now alone with the schoolteacher and feeling no pain. Bud tells her that he has to go. She insists they have one more drink and then he can walk her back to her room. Well, guess what happens? She is the ugliest woman Bud has ever had sex with – before or since. Bud will have to admit that she was very, very appreciative but definitely a two-bagger! You put one bag over her head and another over yours in case hers falls off! Bud manages to tear himself away from her and make it to his BOQ building next door.

He runs into his crew who are in a panic. "We have been looking all over for you! We have been alerted!"

Bud tells them to go to Operations and fill out the paper work. Bud feels like he has been in a greased pig catching contest and must have a shower. When Bud arrives at Operations, the Command Post Officer takes one look at him and starts laughing. Fortunately, he is a good guy and lets Bud take the flight. Bud knows better than to try and fly so he lets one of the other pilots do the flying. On the two hour flight to Pisa, he manages to get an hour sleep. From Pisa the next stop is Aviano. Departing Aviano a generator is lost so an engine is shutdown and the aircraft returns to Aviano. After the mechanic removes the generator and plugs the connection, the flight finally presses on to Brindisi and Naples before finally reaching their destination of Athens in the evening. Bud feels like death warmed over all day. The worst part is that when he thinks about what he has done, he bursts into laughter! Bud later claims temporary insanity tells the crew that if they ever tell anyone about this, he will haunt them the rest of their lives! When Bud finally lies down in his bed at the Congo Palace in Athens, he can't believe it. His body feels numb as he vows that he will never do that again!

After a few more days of flying around the eastern Mediterranean, the crew is back in Chateauroux. Bud's time in Chateauroux caused him to become a confirmed Francophile. For starters, Bud, who had two years of French, in high school considers French as the world's most beautiful language. He also likes French food, French wine, French music (specifically Bizet) and especially French women – two of his favorites were Leslie Caron and Catherine Deneuve plus a sexy French waitress named Francine at the O'Club for some time now. He has flirted and gotten to know her. One night while Bud and another member of the crew are having dinner with a local, Francine comes up in the conversation. The local tells Bud that Francine used to be a hooker in the town. She had quit hooking and one night a couple of drunken Air Force enlisted men ran into her. When she refused to service them, they beat her up. As part of her settlement with the Air Force, she was given a job at the base laundry. She later got a transfer to the O'Club. Earlier, Francine tells Bud that the base commander, an Air Force general, has been hustling her. Bud gets a good laugh out of that one! Bud finally gets her to agree to a date and takes her to her favorite restaurant. She and Bud have her favorite meal, frog legs. Bud's first and last time eating frog legs! It's not that Bud did not like the meal, but he always has liked the little amphibians. Bud does not have enough Francs to cover the bill so she lends him the money. Bud pays her back in dollars. They then go to her apartment and right into bed. She did not make Bud work for it! Bud's first and last time with Francine as well. Once again, why is it that things finally get going good when you are about to leave a place? After a trip down to Spain, the crew heads back to McGuire. This is Bud's last trip to Europe with VR-3 and it has been an epic trip of over three weeks. Bud and crew had gotten stuck there because of some crisis in the Dominican Republic and there was not a crew to relieve them.

Back at McGuire, Bud places a note on the bulletin board titled _Can You Top This_! Bud and the crew flew over 100 hours during the 22 days away and made 60 landings. Bud is called in to see the CO. He has seen Bud's note and asked if it is a record. Bud replies that he has no idea but that it is a damn good average! The CO tells Bud that he is sorry to see him leaving the Navy. He went on to add that some officers are good pilots but not so good at their collateral duties. On the other hand, some other officers are good at their collateral duty but not the best pilots. He ended by saying that Bud was one of the few officers that was good at both jobs!

Twenty-Eight

Bud's next trip is a very interesting one – possibly the most interesting one of his Navy career. The mission is to take the Vice Presidential limousine to the Dominican Republic when Hubert Humphrey attends the presidential inauguration down there. Bud flies to Andrew AFB outside of Washington to pick up the vehicles and the accompanying Secret Service Agents. On the way to Santo Domingo one of the agents becomes quite candid about the presidents. He said everyone liked JFK and Jackie. He said they both called the agents by their first names and frequently asked about their families. On the other hand, all the agents hated Lyndon Johnson. LBJ sometimes called the agents _assholes_. LBJ was also known to dictate to a female secretary while sitting on the toilet.

When a new secretary appeared, Johnson was also known to ask one of his aides, within earshot of the girl: "Does she fuck?"

Bud imagines that there must have been quite a turnover in secretaries! After dropping the vehicles off in Santo Domingo, the flight heads over to Puerto Rica for a crew rest. The next day, they fly back to Santo Domingo and return the vehicles and agents to Andrews.

Bud's last trip in the squadron is out to the Pacific. After a pickup at Cannon AFB, New Mexico, the flight continued to Travis and Hawaii. In Hawaii, Bud's navigator ran into a buddy of his from flight training who is flying with VR-3's sister squadron at Moffett Field, California. Between Hawaii and Wake Island lies the International Date Line. It is always the next day when one crosses the line westbound. Bud departs Hawaii on the night of July 3rd and lands at Wake Island on the morning of July 5th, totally missing July 4th. Some guys were known to miss their birthdays. Conversely, when one crosses the Date Line eastbound it is always the day before. Some guys were known to have two birthdays.

On Wake Island, Bud's crew runs into his navigator's friend again and they had a few beers together at the Drifter's Reef. This is quite an occasion because the navigator's friend's aircraft commander is also on his last flight and will be retiring when he returns to Moffett Field. From Wake, Bud's crew proceeds to Mactan in the Philippines. Mactan is located on Cebu Island, just to the west of Leyte which was the scene of the first U.S. landings in the Philippines during WW II. The U.S had built a 10,000 ft. runway there as an emergency landing field for the Strategic Air Command in case of war. The Air Force started using it to relieve the congestion at Clark Field and Okinawa. The Mactan operation had just begun and there were no crew rest facilities although they were being established. As a result, the crews were put up at the Hilton Hotel in Cebu City. Bud's crew had to take an Air Force bus that had to use a ferry to get to Cebu City. This was the first time Bud ventured off a base in the Philippines. The entire place was an armed camp! There were rifle carrying guards everywhere including the ferry landing and at the entrance to the hotel. The hotel is quite nice and one of the most luxurious Bud had the pleasure of staying while in the Navy. There was a nice outside bar and a patio overlooking the manicured grounds. Bud and his crew stayed on the patio and watched sundown. After dinner, the crew went to the hotel's nightclub which was a very lively place with live music and lots and lots of young Philippine girls. Apparently, the girls, who were not hookers, were drawn to the place by the novelty of all of the young American men who bought them drinks. Bud wondered how long it would take for the Americans to wear out their welcome!

From Mactan, Bud's crew proceeds to Cam Ranh Bay, Vietnam. When Bud's crew walks into the command post, they are told by an officer that one of their planes has just been lost. About 50 miles north of the base, the C-130 en route to Japan disappeared off of the radar over the South China Sea. There were also reports of a flash being seen in the sky. It is the crew of Bud's navigator's friend! It was the aircraft commander's last trip before retiring! There were also two Air Force fighter pilots, who had been bombing the north, on board who were hitching a ride to Japan for R and R (Rest and Relaxation). Needless to say, Bud and the crew are quite shook up. If it had not been for the luck of the draw, it could have easily been them! After collecting themselves, Bud and the crew go to the chow hall. Cam Ranh Bay is a sandy peninsula – sand is everywhere. Bob Hope called it _The World's Largest Cat Box_. At the chow hall, Bud observes people with holstered pistols in plastic bags to keep out the sand. After eating his meal, Bud looks on his plate and sees that some sand has accumulated.

On route to Japan, Bud's crew is sent to Taiwan for a diplomatic pickup. At the Taipei International Airport, the pallet is loaded. As the crew starts the engines, one of the starters shears a shaft and the flight is cancelled until a new starter can be flown in from Japan. The Embassy's Air Attaché hands Bud a card and tells him that this is where all the crews stay. Bud looks at the card – "The Lucky Hotel, Jimmy the Crook- Proprietor. For $1 an hour, you get all you can eat, all you can drink, and all you can fuck plus a show." Bud talks it over with the rest of the crew and this is the place for them! The crew takes cabs to the hotel. After signing in at the front desk, the next step is picking out a girl for your stay. Since Bud is the Aircraft Commander and the senior officer, he gets first choice from the lineup and picks out the prettiest one. Once everyone has chosen a girl, the next step is the choice of a donkey or a St. Bernard show to get you warmed up. After the show, everyone retires to his room with his girl. If you do not like your girl, you can pick another girl.

One of the guys got a second girl after the first one told him: "No smoke dick" when he asked her to suck it!

A few of the guys got a different girl for variety. After two days at this _American Serviceman's Paradise_ the plane gets fixed and the crew reluctantly leaves Taiwan.

Bud finally makes it to Tachikawa and goes into a panic! This is his last trip! He has a big shopping list and is at the Tachi Vendors hangar when it opens. Fanny asked Bud to get her a set of Mikimoto pearls. At the Mikimoto stall, the sales girl asks Bud which set he wants. They all look the same to Bud, so he asks the girl to make the selection for him which she does. The price was $80. Bud also buys a motion picture projector among other things. Bud spent all day at the hangar and he is there when it closes. He spent a month's pay buying all those _indispensable or must have items_. There were two other _must have_ items from Japan. One was a motorcycle and the other a Hibachi pot. Earlier, Bud had bought a set of Noritake china for a nominal fee. By the time he carried the two boxes of heavy china on and off the crew bus, on and off the airplane, and in and out of the BOQ several times, he was ready to throw it off a bridge! Bud passed on the Hibachi pot because he flat refused to jackass the heavy damn thing back home. Plus the fact that Fanny and he lived on a second floor of an apartment and had no place to put it. Several trips earlier he did buy a Honda 90 motorcycle. He got it as far as Elmendorf, Alaska. Fortunately, the airplane was going on to McGuire with a VR-3 crew, so Bud paid one of the enlisted crew members to take the motorcycle to the squadron.

The flight from Alaska to McGuire takes about eleven hours. Bud always requests the Great Circle flight plan which is the shortest but flies over some of the world's most desolate terrain. One realizes in a hurry just how big and desolate of a country Canada is. On this particular flight the crew is treated to an absolutely spectacular display of Aurora Borealis. The entire northern sky is lit up with all manner of different colored lights – tonight it is better than any fireworks display Bud has ever seen.

When Bud finally got back to the apartment, he tells Fanny about the lost airplane. Fanny refuses to read the newspapers when Bud is gone and has heard nothing about the crash. The same cannot be said for Bud's mother who learns of the crash from the front page of the _Baltimore Sun_. Bud's mother called Fanny figuring she would be the first to know if it was Bud's airplane. Bud's mother does not mention the crash as she and Fanny passed the time of day. Bud who had been promoted to instructor pilot, had one more training flight in the C-130. He is released from the Navy on July 15, 1966. In the two and half years of their marriage, Fanny and Bud had saved $12,000. That was two years salary in 1966!

VR-3 would not last much longer. In 1967, the Navy was faced with a shortage of flight crew members due to the escalation of the Vietnam War. A senior officer in the Navy's Bureau of Personnel wondered why the Navy was doing the Air Force's job for them. As a result, the Navy withdrew its support from MAC and all three of the squadrons, VR-3, VR-7, and VR-22 were decommissioned.

Twenty-Eight

Fanny and Bud headed south. They spend a week with Bud's family in Baltimore and a week with Fanny's family in Pikeville before arriving in Atlanta for Bud's Dixie class start on August 8th. They rent a furnished apartment in Hapeville, the small municipality just north of the Atlanta airport.

On the first day of class, all of the new trainees have seated themselves randomly in the classroom. The instructor starts off by sitting everyone in order of their seniority. He said that we would be living with our seniority number the rest of our careers so we might as well get used to it now. There were two no-shows. Bud is lucky because he is number seven of 33 trainees. Bud is assured that he will be based where he wants – in Atlanta. The guys at the back of the class will probably get sent to Chicago. All the other airlines base seniority on age – the oldest first. Dixie bases its seniority on the date of the job interview. Bud is one of the youngest at 25, so he would have been at the back of the class at any other airline. Once seated in seniority, everyone introduces himself and makes a short statement about his background. The class is about 90% ex-military pilots. The first day is spent with various familiarization subjects and information about the airline.

Also is a warning about the stewardesses: "Be careful about dipping your pen in the company ink!"

The next day, the class gets to the meat of its purpose – preparing the new-hires to pass the Federal Aviation Administration's Flight Engineer's written test. Compared to the Air Force, Dixie's training aids are a joke and virtually nonexistent – no cockpit mockups or simulator. There is a blown up photograph of a DC-6 cockpit and a cardboard box of various parts.

The instructor would reach into the box and produce a part: "This is an aircraft carburetor. It isn't off of a DC-6. It is off of a DC-3, but it works the same way."

Dixie considers training a necessary evil. The airline's founder, C.E. Monroe, is alleged to have said when asked for training money: "Don't our pilots have licenses when we hire them?"

Ground school drags on Monday to Friday. The new-hires are sent on DC-6 familiarization flights on the weekend. Bud gets sent to Dallas and back to Atlanta to observe the operation.

On the way back the flight is about to cross the Mississippi when the Captain says to Bud: "Son, you see that hill down there?"

Bud replies that he does.

The Captain goes on: "That's the prettiest hill in the South. Do you know why?"

Bud replies in the negative.

The Captain continues: "Because there are 10,000 Yankees buried there."

They were looking at the National Cemetery at Vicksburg, Mississippi.

Since Bud is certain to be based in Atlanta, Fanny begins looking for a job. She gets one with the Clayton County school system. Clayton County is the location of the fictional Tara of _Gone with the Wind_ fame. Getting the job is the good news. The bad news is that she is getting paid about half of what she was making in Tennessee or New Jersey - $3500 per year. The airlines in those days treated new pilots like indentured servants and Bud is not making much more. Fortunately, Bud has a working wife and Fanny and he managed to get by. The pilots' with families do not have that luxury and resort to dipping into their savings to survive.

Everyone in the class passes the Flight Engineer Written test. Then it is on to flight training. Bud and a fellow student get sent to Detroit with an instructor for training. Training takes place on a DC-6 that has over-nighted in Detroit. They are out at the airport before dawn doing walk-around inspections, running the checklists and learning to start the engines. All the while they are freezing their butts off.

After several days of that, it is back to Atlanta for more training and the eventual check-ride with the FAA inspector. Dixie's pilot bases in those days were Atlanta, Dallas, Houston, New Orleans, Chicago, and Miami. As expected, Bud gets assigned to the Atlanta base – the guys at the back of the class get Chicago. Fanny and Bud rent a townhouse in Hapeville and get their furniture from storage. To further make ends meet, Bud joins the Naval Reserves at NAS Atlanta. This adds about $200 to their monthly income. Following training Dixie magnanimously gives the pilots a $50 a month increase in pay!

Twenty -Nine

Bud starts out on reserve. Reserve pilots have eight days a month off. The rest of the time they are on the hook – much like a fireman. Most of Dixie's DC-6/DC-7 routes are between Dallas and Charleston, S.C./Savannah, GA plus between Chicago/Detroit and New Orleans and all the stops in between. The DC-6/DC-7s are also used as equipment substitution from Atlanta to Washington, Tampa, Orlando, and Jacksonville. Bud gets his first trip that lays-over in Charleston. The crew celebrates Bud's first trip. He winds up getting lucky with one of the stewardesses. Bud thinks: _What a job!_ As a reserve, Bud also gets assigned to pilot training flights as the engineer. Since Bud flew the DC-6 in the Navy and is presently flying the very similar C-54 in the Navy reserves, the training instructor gives Bud a few landings and qualifies him as a DC-6 copilot.

Bud finds out that there is a big difference between military and civilian flying in regards to required maneuvers – specifically the V1 cut. The V1 cut is the loss of an engine at V1, the takeoff decision speed. The Federal Aviation Administration has made this a precision maneuver. Aircraft heading must be maintained to a plus or minus 10 degrees, speed must be maintained near V2 (minimum control speed with an engine out), the aircraft must be leveled at exactly 1000 ft. above the ground, the flaps retracted, and finally the engine failure checklist called for. This is a very demanding maneuver and one of the items pilots have the most trouble with – costing some of them their jobs. The FAA stresses it _ad nauseum_ . Ironically, the military does not do it at all! The military philosophy is that losing an engine at V1 is highly unlikely and if it did happen, the pilot could handle it. Bud has never heard of a military plane crashing from losing an engine at V1.

In December, Bud finds himself assigned to a DC-6 copilot schedule. It is a trip no one else in their right mind would want. A six in the morning departure to Columbus, Georgia and back - that's all! The problem is that Bud has to do this five days a week.

The next month, Bud is back as a flight engineer. One of his flights stopped in Knoxville. As Bud is doing his walk-around inspection, a mechanic tells Bud that a tire needs to be changed. Bud retreats to operations and picks up a magazine. A tire change takes about two hours minimum in the military. Fifteen minutes later a gate agent tells Bud that they are ready to go and are looking for him. Bud can't believe that the tire had been changed so quickly and apologizes to the captain who gets a good laugh. There is a big difference in the way the military does things and the private sector!

Bud's initial class with Dixie had its first casualty. Dan Johnson, a civilian trained pilot, is fired. Dan, got through training OK and was assigned to Chicago as a Convair 880 second officer or flight engineer. Once Don started flying the line he began to run afoul of the captains. So many captains had complained about him, Dixie's management conducted a background check. Dixie discovered that most of Don's resume and flight experience was bogus. He claimed flight time and letters of recommendation from non-existent companies and individuals. Don would later get a job with Trans-Caribbean Airlines that was subsequently bought out by American Airlines. Bud heard many years later that Don was an American DC-10 captain flying out of New York. How lucky can you get!

Dixie's pilot hiring practices were notoriously lax when compared with other airlines. Bud's squadron mates that interviewed airlines, while Bud was still in the Navy, would tell everyone the process they were put through. Other airlines put pilot applicants through extensive testing including the Stanine Exam and medical exams. One of Bud's Navy buddies was even taken up in a Continental DC-3 and flew an ILS approach.

Dixie's pilot hiring procedure was first to take a 12 minute timed general aptitude test that was given to all job applicants. The pilot applicant had to have the minimum of a commercial pilot's license and an FAA First Class flight physical. The lion's share of the interview process was spent with the psychologist . The applicant was first given the extensive 1939 era MMPI, the _Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory_. There was a book on the MMPI floating around the squadron so Bud knew what to answer. Some of the questions were obvious such as: _Sometimes I think I am Jesus Christ_. Others were a little more subtle. To answer that you had gained weight or had diarrhea in the last few months indicated hypochondria. Supposedly the non-hypochondriac would not remember or think about such things! The test was followed by an interview by the psychologist. The applicant sat in a rocking chair. The debate among the pilots was whether it was a good thing to rock or not. The process was designed to eliminate the mental cases. Needless to say, this process was not foolproof and a few nuts managed to get through.

One of the nut cases that got through was Dave Buck, a pathological liar. The MMPI is supposed to screen for liars. One question Bud remembered was: _I have never been late for an appointment._ Everyone has been late for an appointment some time in his life. So if the applicant answered yes, he was tagged as a liar. Apparently Buck had read the book too and knew the correct answers. Another pilot and friend of Bud's said that Buck would lie even if the truth sounded better. They also said that one could tell when Buck was lying – when his lips were moving. Buck claimed he was an MD. One of Dixie's senior stewardesses called him: _Dr. Fuck!_ Buck was on a flight one day with a deadheading pilot on the jumpseat. Buck starts telling this anecdote of a classic Air Force flight which he claimed to have been on.

When he finished his story, the pilot on the jumpseat said: "I am real familiar with that flight since I was on it."

Buck says: "Well, I'll be damn" and goes on to some other bullshit without batting an eyelash.

Buck had a relationship with a stewardess. Although Buck was presently married, had children, and lived with his family, he asked the girl to marry him and became engaged. The girl eventually took Buck home to meet the parents. The girl's father was not as stupid, naive or gullible as his daughter. After spending some time with Buck, he saw right through him. After the visit, the girl's father had a background check made on Buck and got the goods on him. Buck eventually had his last name legally changed. He even had a bullshit story, undoubtedly untrue, as to why. Buck probably had his last name changed in an attempt to hide from his past lies. Buck did not reach normal retirement. He had some kind of health issue and went on disability.

Dixie's hiring practices also led to the strange case of Stretch Roberts. Stretch was a civilian trained pilot. He flew with Dixie for some time and got into trouble with the FAA. Turns out that Stretch did not have a valid license. He had the paper license card but it was bogus. Stretch had a girlfriend who worked for the FAA and he talked her into stealing a blank form which he filed out with his name! Stretch was never seen or heard from again.

Thirty

In spite of her limited number of science courses as a Home Economics major in college, Fanny gets hired as a science teacher at the Clayton County high school. Bud, who had a fairly extensive science background in college, is frequently queried by Fanny on science questions. Being the newest science teacher at the school, Fanny is given a class with the worst students. These kids, who have been socially promoted up to this point, turn in blank tests with only their names at the top. Fanny in frustration starts going over the test the day before with the students. Blank tests continue to be turned in. Fanny finally goes to the principal looking for help and is told not to worry about it.

The principal adds: "At least you are keeping them in their seats!"

These poor kids are in all probability suffering from learning disabilities and are waiting to be old enough to drop out of school. Unfortunately, in 1966 learning disabilities have yet to be identified.

Fanny starts getting sick in the morning. One of her fellow teachers suggests that she is probably pregnant. Fanny has not been using any birth control methods for about two years. She had been to a doctor and had Bud submit to a sperm test which he passed. Fanny was worried that she would never get pregnant. A trip to her doctor confirms that in fact she is with child. The problem is that poor Fanny has morning sickness every day of her pregnancy.

Bud was on reserve. In those days before beepers and cell phones, the pilot was pretty much tied to a telephone. Bud's hemorrhoids began to bother him. They kept getting worse and worse and it seemed that every nerve in his body was attached to them. When Delta call him for a trip, Bud sicked-out.

When they got to the point he could not stand it any longer and were protruding externally, it was, as usual, a Saturday morning. Bud managed to find a doctor's office that was open and got an appointment. Bud should have gotten Fanny to drive him, but unfortunately he didn't.

At the crowded doctor's office, the receptionist asked for everyone present to hear: "Sir, what is your problem this morning?"

Bud wanted to say: "None of your fucking business." But he didn't!

Bud finally got to see the doctor who said: "Well, looks like you have some pretty good blood clots."

Bud lay on the examining table. The doctor spread his butt apart with three inch wide adhesive tapes on the cheeks of his ass and the side of the table. He gave Bud several shots of Novocain and cut out the clots. When Bud got up he was very light headed. The doctor shoved Bud into a chair and pushed his head between his knees. Before he left, the doctor gave Bud a prescription for a pain killer.

Once Bud got on the expressway back to the townhouse, the Novocain began to wear off. By the time Bud got to his exit, the Novocain had totally worn off and he was going about 90 mph. Bud staggered into the townhouse, gave Fanny the prescription to get filled and collapse on the bed. Bud was white as a sheet! Fanny came back with the pain killer which Bud washed down with a couple of fingers of Scotch. Bud either passed out or fell asleep.

When Bud woke up an hour or so later, the pain was gone. He woke up with an erection. Fanny noticed that he was awake. She laid on the bed with him and asked how he felt. Bud said fine and took out his penis. For some reason, Bud was horny. Fanny took pity on him and sucked it off – it was one of those wonderful spontaneous moments!

Thirty-One

After completion of his initial training with Dixie, Bud joined a Naval reserve transport squadron at NAS Atlanta which is located at Dobbins AFB in nearby Marietta. Most of the officers are Dixie, Eastern, or Southern pilots. Bud enjoys the camaraderie of the one weekend a month reserve drill. The commanding officer is Eastern pilot Larry Nichols who is really a great guy.

What Bud does not like about the reserves is the aircraft they are flying – the ancient C-54. The C-54 was cutting edge technology during WW II, but was getting a little long in the tooth. The C-54 is the equivalent of the commercial DC-4 which the major airlines retired a generation ago. Bud looks at the manufacturer's tag on the squadron's airplanes and all were built in 1942 – less than two years after Bud was born. The airplanes were unpressurized, had no engine reverse, no weather radar, and a lousy, almost useless, hydraulic autopilot. It is not much fun flying an aircraft around the Southeastern United States, one of the world's most intense thunderstorm areas, in the summer with no weather radar. The crews had to rely on Air Traffic Control's radar to prevent blundering into a thunderstorm. Flying a long flight without a good autopilot is also a chore. The autopilot was hydraulic and did not have altitude hold. The pitch trim control on the autopilot had to be constantly adjusted to keep the aircraft on the assigned altitude. Rumor had it that the Air Force had offered to give the Navy Boeing C-97s Stratofreighters. The Navy rejected the C-97 as being too expensive to operate. What the Navy wanted was the C-118 (DC-6) but none were available at that time. So the Navy reserves soldiered on with the C-54.

Every summer, Navy reserve squadrons serve a two-week active duty assignment called a cruise. As a transport squadron, the squadron could spend the two weeks on any Navy base it wanted. The squadron officers talked it over and decided to go to Alameda, across the bay from San Francisco. So the squadron took two C-54s and flew out to California for two weeks. Alameda was a big overhaul and repair facility for the Navy as well as a reserve base. At that time, Alameda is also being used for P2V Neptune gunship training for service in Vietnam.

Bud first trip out of Alameda is to Hawaii. The trip back to Alameda is an all-night affair. As they pull dead tired in for parking, Bud notices the operations officer and another officer waiting to greet the flight. Bud is thinking that this does not look good. The operations officer says that the squadron has a mission to Minneapolis but the pilot who was suppose to take it is sick. They want one of us to go on the flight for legality reasons and we can sleep all the way.

The aircraft commander is a Dixie Captain, the squadron executive officer, and a Commander says: "Well, I am not going to do it" and walks away.

The first pilot is a Southern Airlines captain and a Lt.Cdr.

He says: "I am not going to do it" and walks away.

All eyes are on Bud who says" I am not going to do it either" and walks away as well.

There is one thing about the Reserves – it is voluntary. Reserves do not go _charging into the breach_ like the Light Brigade and don't mind saying so and asking questions. A Dallas reserve fighter squadron, with several Dixie pilot members, got activated for Vietnam. As it turned out, the squadron was not properly trained and spent most of their year on active duty in training. They never went to Vietnam. On their flight helmets they had the letters _FUBIJAR_ which stands for _Fuck you buddy, I'm just a Reserve!_

Bud's next trip is up to Kodiak Island, Alaska. The flight into Kodiak is very interesting. The runway is pointed into a bowl with a very large mountain at the end. The approach was in the weather and it was very unsettling to hear the radar operator announce that our flight was committed to land. The C-54 did not have the performance to go-around and would have to crash land on the runway if it had to. Bud's flight managed to land successfully. Bud observed a gravel covered ramp at the end of the runway for aircraft that overshot the runway – the ramp looked like one of those runaway truck ramps one sees on the Interstate highways. One of the navigators was a fisherman so the crew went salmon fishing right on the base and caught a few magnificent silver salmon. This trip was at the end of the two weeks cruise so the salmon was iced down and lasted until they got back home to Atlanta.

Thirty-Two

Bud gets a bid as second officer on the Convair 880. The one simulator Dixie owns is an 880, so most training occurs there. For actual flight training, Bud is sent to Houston. Flight training takes place in the middle of the night. Pilots are being trained the same time as the flight engineers. There they were doing touch-and-go landings at 3:30 a.m. in Shreveport, LA. Bud wonders if the people on the ground who were trying to sleep thought what the hell was going on. After a few months on reserve, Bud is able to hold a line of time. It is the worse trip Bud has ever flown – before or since. It departs Atlanta around mid-night and goes to Houston with a stop in New Orleans. The crew goes to a motel for a couple of hours and then departs for Chicago around seven in the morning with a stop in St. Louis. The crew lays over in Chicago until around nine at night and then proceeds to Miami via Atlanta. They arrived in Miami around three in the morning and lay around for three hours before proceeding to West Palm Beach and home to Atlanta. Fortunately, Bud manages to get off this trip after a few months.

All the pilots love the 880. It is a real pilot's airplane. It is fast, responsive, and easy to maneuver. The problem is that the 880 is not very economical. It has four gas-guzzling engines, only carries 84 passengers, and requires three pilots to operate. Since jet fuel is only 17 cents/gallon, the 800 is fine for the time being.

On one particular flight, the tower informed Bud's crew that one of the engines was smoking particularly bad on takeoff. Bud looks at the oil quantities and they all look good. The Captain also takes a look and is satisfied. Most of the way to Memphis, Bud and the Captain continue to stare at the oil quantity gauges. Just before descent into Memphis, hydraulic warning lights light up the cockpit. It was a hydraulic leak not oil! Bud feels a little stupid and is sure the Captain does as well. Aren't Captains supposed to think of such things? After all, they are getting paid enough.

On one 880 trip, the airplane was on the last leg to a layover.

One of the Houston based stewardesses comes into the cockpit and asks matter of fact: "Does anyone want a blowjob tonight?"

The copilot's hand goes up like a shot as he declares: "I'm your man!"

Bud wasn't known to turn down an offer like this but rank has its privileges. Bud should have asked her if she did _Double Headers!_

While on the 880, Bud is on two flights that have near misses. One of the flights is from the northeast to Atlanta at night. After Washington Air Traffic Control Center gives the flight an un-standard altitude for the direction it is going, it turns the flight over to Atlanta Center. As Bud's flight is waiting to make radio contact with Atlanta, the crew observes an airplane go whizzing by in the opposite direction. Contact is finally made with Atlanta Center and their altitude reported. Atlanta frantically asks what we are doing at that altitude. We tell them we were cleared here by Washington Center. After a minute or two, Atlanta calls our flight and says that they screwed up down there and did we want to do anything about it. Our Captain replies in the negative. The flight they saw pass was at the same altitude! It is virtually impossible to tell another aircraft's altitude at night.

No more than two weeks later, Bud has a flight from Miami to Atlanta. Bud's flight is sitting on the southern most west runway awaiting takeoff clearance. They observe a Dixie DC-8 takeoff on the northwest runway heading for Chicago.

The copilot jokes: "Let's race them as far as Atlanta."

Bud's flight is finally cleared for takeoff and they can see the DC-8 ahead of them during the climb. By now both flights have been handed over to Miami Center and visual contact with the DC-8 has been lost. The Center then asks Bud's flight and then the DC-8 flight their passing altitude. The Center then gives both flights a heading to fly. A moment or so later, the DC-8 crosses right in front of Bud's flight not two hundred yards ahead. The Center had given headings to the wrong aircraft! The DC-8 did not see Bud's flight behind them, so they were unaware how close they had come to dying. Miami Center is quiet as the controller has either swallowed his tongue, passed out, or was busy cleaning himself up as he watched the near miss unfold on his radar.

Bud figured that controller at the very least should have said; "Look out!"

Bud's captain says nothing and does not report the incident.

Bud wonders why the captain did not report the near miss. Bud is involved in several near misses caused by the air traffic controllers. Airline pilots tend to not officially file a near miss report so as not to get the controller in trouble - but is that the right thing to do? What if a controller was weak and had caused several near misses? Wouldn't it be better to identify the bad controllers and get them off of the job? A lot of people's lives are at stake!

Dixie had a total of 17 880s. One crashed on a training flight in Atlanta and a second written off after a taxing accident in Chicago. Dixie retired its last 880 at the end of 1973. One was bought as a private jet by Elvis Presley and named for his daughter, Lisa Marie.

As the end of 1967 is approaching, Fanny is in her third trimester. Bud is hoping the blessed event occurs before the end of the year so he will get a tax deduction for the entire year. That does not happen and another three weeks drag by for Fanny who is in total misery. She is now well overdue and the doctor takes her into the hospital and induces labor. That does not work and Conrad Christian Shuler Jr. is delivered by Cesarean section on the night of January 18, 1968. Bud immediate calls him Bud Jr.

After about a week, Fanny and baby get to come home. Bud's mother comes down from Baltimore to help out until Fanny gets back on her feet. The first problem is that the baby cries more than normal. Fanny is doing it the old fashioned way, breast feeding him. When the crying continues, Fanny decided to try a bottle. That was it! Bud Jr. was not getting his fill and the petite Fanny could not produce enough milk to satisfy him.

Thirty-Three

Bud quits the Navy Reserve. He doesn't need the money anymore in spite of the fact that Fanny no longer works and he really hates the C-54. Dixie is growing pretty fast and Bud moves up to DC-8 flight engineer. The best thing about the DC-8 is that it is the only Dixie aircraft that flies to the West Coast. Bud has seen quite a bit of San Francisco, but the layovers in Los Angeles, San Diego, and Las Vegas are new and very enjoyable.

On one flight to the West Coast, the Air Traffic Control Center calls Bud's flight and asks for their DME (Distance Measuring Equipment) from Albuquerque. This is in the days when radar coverage was not as good as it is now and the DC-8 only had one DME. Well, the copilot answers back that he does not know. When ATC asks why not, the copilot answers that the captain is asleep and has his foot over the indicator. ATC requests that when the captain wakes up give them a call with the DME! One captain laments that when he retires he is going to have a pilot seat installed in his bedroom. He said while he has trouble getting to sleep in his bed as soon as he gets in the pilot's seat he has to fight to stay awake.

In San Diego, Dixie crews layover at the downtown hilltop El Cortez Hotel. It is very enjoyable watching aircraft make their approach to the airport while having a cool one at the bar on the top of the hotel. San Diego is not the world's best airport and landing to the west requires a steep approach right over downtown buildings. The cocktail waitresses at the bar were pretty good air traffic controllers.

When an aircraft passed by high on approach they would say: "He'll make it."

Sure enough the airplane would land.

When they said; "He won't make it!"

The aircraft usually would wind up going around.

Bud's flight arrived late in the afternoon. He walks through the lobby and spots one of Dixie's stewardesses that is on another flight. She is a friend of Bud's, is married, but is having an affair with another Dixie pilot who Bud knows. She says to get on your drinking clothes and come on down. She adds that a couple of the other girls are going to join her. Bud changes clothes and joins the group which proceeds down the hill to the favorite crew hangout bar that serves great hamburgers. Well. Bud winds up hanging around an average looking married stewardess. After several beers she begins to get quite amorous. Eventually, Bud and the girl head back to the hotel. The pilots stay in a building across the street from the main hotel that is connected by an enclosed walkway across the street. Common practice when walking up the hill to the hotel is to enter Bud's building and take the elevator to the floor with the connecting walkway to the other side. That's what Bud and the girl do, but Bud pushes the elevator button to his floor. When they arrive at Bud's floor she asks where is this? Bud said lets go to my room. She says no and gets back on the elevator. They walk down the lobby of the hotel and Bud sits down in a chair along the corridor. She pops down on Bud's lap and they start necking. Bud sees this as going nowhere and begs her to go to his room. She refuses again. They wind up outside of her room with her roommate asleep inside. Once again they lockup and before long Bud has his hand up her dress. Once again he asks her to go to his room. Again she refuses. Finally he asks her to go somewhere else and she says OK. They wind up on a carpeted landing in a stairwell and Bud pops her on the floor. The entire time, Bud is expecting someone to open the door on him or come down the stairs. Bud finishes her off and drops her off at her door – very glad to be rid of the crazy bitch. The next day, the girl is on Bud's flight back to Atlanta. She can hardly face him. Bud finally gets her alone and says that he had a crazy dream about her last night - it was a dream, wasn't it?

Although this is Bud's only sexual encounter with this girl, he kept running into her under the most bizarre circumstances. A few months later, he runs into her and her husband – a rather tough looking middle-linebacker type brute who could break Bud in half with one hand. She introduced Bud to her husband and they exchange pleasantries.

The next time Bud sees her, over a year later, he is again in operations looking at the weather when he hears; "Hello stranger."

Bud turns and there she is holding a baby!" Bud does some quick mental arithmetic and determines he is in the clear.

She then tells him: "Do you remember that time in San Diego?"

Bud replies how could he ever forget it. She said that her husband had a private detective following her. His first wife cheated on him and he became suspicious of her.

Bud anxiously asks: "How much did he learn?"

She said not everything but enough. She said that he confronted her with it and she confessed to a little fling. But they reconciled and she was holding the result. Bud ran into her again at the hospital when Fanny was having their second child and a few years later when Bud was taking Bud Jr. to the circus. She and her husband eventually divorced.

Thirty- Four

Bud's favorite layover and the scene of most of his successes with the ladies were in San Francisco. When Bud first started flying out there, several of his Navy buddies were also there flying for Pan American. One of the guys in particular, Hal Burns, was on reserve and hardly ever flew. Bud would get in and give Hal a call. If he was in, Bud would take the California Street cable car to the end of the line and walk the few blocks to Hal's apartment and they would hang out and party. Hal lived with a Pan Am stewardess and Bud became good friends with both of them. Well, eventually Hal gets talked into marriage. Bud arrived late on the wedding day. Bud was supposed to come to the wedding but when the girl's parents were in town, they got married earlier than originally planned. Bud arrives as the wedding celebration at the apartment is winding down. The bride is already passed out on the bed. Bud winds up talking to an upstairs neighbor who is over six foot tall and naturally called _The Amazon_. After the party breaks up, Bud walks the Amazon down the hill to her work as an X-ray technician. The Amazon is feeling no pain and in any case is unfit for work. When they get to Bud's hotel, Bud picks up a couple of six packs of beer and some food. They then head up to Bud's room. Well, that was quite a new experience for Bud. Ordinarily, he would never consider a woman taller than himself, but this was an extraordinarily unique situation. The only trouble Bud had was reaching it from the doggy position and had to stand on his toes. What he really needed was a soap box!

Bud's former squadron mates lifestyles as Pan Am pilots were a world's difference from Dixie pilots. One of Bud's former Navy friend, a bachelor, lived across the bay in Tiburon. Sometimes they would party over there. On one occasions, this guy breaks out hashish and a pipe which gets passed around. Bud had never seen this before and is shocked. Single Dixie pilots were probably doing the same thing, but Bud never hung out with them. These were the days before pilots had to take routine drug tests.

Another ex-VR-3 pilot is also based in San Francisco with Pan Am. He was always somewhat of a Hippy type as was his wife. He was the guy Bud's other buddies got their dope from. One day Pan Am calls to assign him a trip and his wife answers the phone. His wife says he is not here. When the Pan Am guy asks where he is, she replied that she had no idea. He just walked away from his job – not so much as _I quit_ or an _F- you._ The next time he surfaces is when he get arrested flying a plane load of marijuana into the states. After getting out of jail, he is later killed in an auto accident.

Bud gets together with the boys on another trip to San Francisco. Hal has had a harrowing experience on a military charter to Viet-Nam. The 707 is landing at Da Nang as a flight of Air Force A-1 Skyraiders are taking off. One of the A-1s had engine trouble and was returning for landing. As the 707 was about to exit the runway, the tower comes on the radio and says: "Pan Am expedite to the end of the runway." The captain pulls back onto the runway and proceeds to the end. The A-1 pilot rolls off the runway to avoid hitting the 707. Hal said after they exited the runway at the end, they observe the A-1 pilot beating a hasty retreat and the airplane bursting into fire. Just as the first fire truck arrived at the scene, the first 500 pound bomb cooked off. The fire truck is vaporized. Just as the second fire truck arrives, the second 500 pound bomb cooks off. The second fire truck disappears. Now the fire trucks keep their distance and let this mess burn itself out. The Pan Am crew is horrified. The tower then comes on the frequency and tells Pan Am that this accident was the tower's fault and not theirs.

All good things must come to an end. Hal Burns gets furloughed by Pan Am. He then takes a job with TWA. Hal works for TWA for about a year and gets furloughed. He has now had it with the airlines and goes back into the Navy. He manages to get in 15 more years of service in the Navy and retires – all while being furloughed from TWA. He eventually gets recalled by TWA. Ironically, he had been offered a job by Dixie but opted to go with Pan Am instead. In the meantime, Bud runs into a friend of Hal's who was working for Dixie. The friend and Hal were interviewing airlines at the same time. Hal asked his friend which airline he was going to and the friend replied "Dixie." Hal's comment was: "Why do you want to go to work with a rinky-dink airline like Dixie?" Too bad Hal did not have enough sense to go to work for that _rinky-dink airline_ because he would have enjoyed a successful and rewarding airline career.

On another occasion, Bud is flying to Frisco with one of his best buddies, Bill Queen. Bill was somewhat of a wise ass that could get you killed in a bar fight.

On one flight with Bud, Bill asked one of the girls if they wanted to go out and get a beer when they got to the hotel.

The girl said: "I don't go out with pilots."

Bill shot back: "Baby, I have stepped over better than you to go and jack off!"

On one particular flight, Bill and Bud could not interest any of the stewardesses on the flight to party so they decided to hit the locals. They first travelled to the bars on Maiden Lane. Finding nothing there, Bill said lets go to Fisherman's wharf. They get off the cable car at the end and observe two girls ahead of them who have several words with two black cable car operators.

Bud and Bill overtake the girls and Bill makes a typical wise ass comment: "So you girls like that black meat!"

Well the girls are very defensive and respond that they are people like anyone else. Well, that broke the ice and the conversion turned more cordial. Turns out these girls, Shelly and Kathy, are from Toronto, divorced, work for Air Canada, and are here on vacation. Bud and Bill told the girls that they were Dixie pilots on a layover and were married. The two girls did not so much as bat an eye lash. Bud and Bill then offered to show them around. When the girls agreed to this offer, the evening was off and running on a very promising start. Bud and Bill show them around the Wharf area and hit all of the bars. The girls would go to the restrooms together and seem to be gone for an extraordinary long time. They are probably planning and agreeing on a course of action. After a few hours, Bud and Bill start working their way in the direction of their hotel and wind up in a bar around the corner from the hotel. They have paired up by now and Bud is with Shelly, the pretty blond one. Bud finally makes his move and suggests that he show her the city from the top of their hotel.

She stands up and her girlfriend says: "Don't forget your purse."

After showing Shelly the city from the hotel's roof, Bud takes her to his room. He was just getting started with Shelly and feeling no pain. He had gotten into her bra and had her blouse partially unbuttoned.

Bud came up for a breath of air and said to Shelly: "You have really got me worked up tonight and I could just eat you."

Shelly then says one of the classic and profound statements Bud has every heard: "Oh no, let me eat you!"

As Bud is coming out of his clothes faster than Clark Kent in a phone booth, Shelly asks: "You're not going to be embarrassed are you?"

Bud says: "Try me."

Well, that was Shelly's thing. She is a true fellatrix, a gobbler – Bud's first encounter with one. She tooted the flute, swallowed the music, and even reaches orgasm while performing the act. Shelly also likes normal intercourse. This is the best and hottest sexual encounter, other than Ashley, that Bud has ever had up to this point. Bud and Shelly go at it all night long. When Bud got tired of humping, he just stuck it in her mouth.

The next morning, Bud is dressed in his uniform and in the hotel lobby waiting for transportation to the airport.

He tells Bill: "If you had half of the good time I had, you would still have had a pretty good time." Bill said that he had a pretty good time as well.

Bill adds: "That was too good to be true. I bet we catch the clap!"

Bud feels exhausted all the rest of that day. Fanny has been up visiting her family in Tennessee and Bud is going to have to faint sickness or something worthy of an Academy Award when he gets home. When Bud finally arrives at the condo, Fanny is not there. She calls a short time later and tells Bud that she is going to spend another day with her family and will be home tomorrow. What luck! Bud collapses into bed for a needed rest.

For the next two weeks, Bill's prediction that he and Bud will get gonorrhea remains constantly on Bud's mind. Bud gets a psychological case of the clap. Finally after two weeks, nothing develops and Bud realizes that he is out of the woods. Bud and Bill start flying trips to Detroit and the two girls come down from Toronto for rendezvous. Sometimes Shelly would come to Detroit by herself.

When Bud offered to help her with the traveling expenses, she replied: "Oh no, you're a married man and can't afford to spend money on such things!"

The relationship lasted for a while and finally faded away. Shelly probably got a serious boyfriend in Toronto. Well, it was fun while it lasted!

Thirty-Five

Dixie is expanding very rapidly and buys a few ex Pan American DC-8s. These are some of the first DC-8s built and are powered by the gas-guzzling Pratt and Whitney JT-4 non-fan turbojet engines. The first jet airliner's cockpits were custom built to each airline's specifications. The various gauges and flight instruments were located where the individual airlines wanted them. This practice does not happen today because it is just too expensive. Today, all the airline customers get together prior to manufacture and agree on where the instruments are to be located. Dixie's checkout on the Pan Am 8s consisted of going over the checklist with an instructor when a Pan Am 8 was passing through Atlanta. That was it.

Bud is flying a trip with a layover in Los Angeles. The next day, the flight is scheduled back to Atlanta with a Pan Am 8. While having dinner with the captain in Santa Monica, the Captain asks Bud if he has ever flown the Pan Am 8 before. When Bud replies in the negative, the Captain recommends that Bud go to the aircraft as soon as he gets to the airport tomorrow morning.

The captain was WW II veteran, white haired, and in his fifties. He was recently divorced and lived in an apartment. Apparently, he spent a lot of leisure time hanging around the pool with the other people, mostly younger folks, who also lived in apartments.

He said: "They call me _The King_ around the apartments!"

On domestic flights, the flight crews report to the airport one hour before departure. Usually, the flight engineer goes to the aircraft 30 minutes before departure and the captain and copilot show up about 15 minutes later. As soon as they got to the airport the next day, Bud grabs his flight kit and heads out to the airplane. The rest of the crew showed up about 30 minutes later. Bud starts reading the checklist. It went something like this.

Bud would read out: "Voice recorder."

The copilot would then start looking for the instrument.

After a few minutes they would find it, do the check, and reply "Checked."

When the ground crew called the cockpit 25 minutes later and clears them to start engines, the prestart checklist still had not been completed. Well, they went on anyway and wound up finding their way back to Atlanta.

Another humorous incident occurs on the DC-9. Dixie's first 14 DC-9s are the short versions. When the stretched versions start arriving, the crews start flying them with no additional training. Well, this captain and copilot have their first flight on the stretched DC-9. In addition to flaps, the stretched DC-9 also has leading edge slats (control surfaces on the leading edge of the wing that are mechanically moved forward to improve airflow over the wing). The lever that controls the flaps has a safety type switch that must be held up when the flaps are moved. Once the flaps are up, the safety switch must be pushed down or in the opposite direction to retract the slats. Well, this crew takes off from Atlanta heading for Chattanooga on their first flight in a stretched DC-9 and cannot figure out how to retract the slats, so they fly to Chattanooga with the slats out all the way. Once on the ground in Chattanooga they make a maintenance write-up that the slats will not retract and something must be wrong with the handle. Maintenance comes on the airplane, moves the handle the correct way and retracts the flaps to the embarrassment of the crew.

Bud really enjoyed flying with the senior Dixie captains, most of whom were WW II veterans. Bud loved their anecdotes and wisdom.

One captain said: "When I was a young lad, I would be on a boat fishing and see an airplane fly over. I would say to myself: 'I sure wish I was up there.' Now when I am up here and see a boat on a lake, I say to myself: 'I sure wish I was down there.'"

Another pilot summed up the job as an airline pilot which is the object of much jealousy and envy: "I wish I made as much money as my brother-in-law thinks I make, have as much time off as my neighbor thinks I have, and have as many girlfriends as my wife thinks I have!"

Dixie's initial international flights were to Frankfurt and London. One captain had his first flight to Frankfurt. After landing, the captain failed to follow the directions of the ground controller who scolded the captain: "Haven't you flown to Frankfurt before." The Captain pick up the mike and said: " I flew to Frankfurt several times in 1944 and 1945 in a B-17 but I didn't land!" End of the scolding.

On another occasion, the copilot and the second officer were discussing their problems with private airplanes, boats, and women.

The captain listened for a while and finally spoke up: "It has been my experience that anytime you get involved with anything that flies, floats, or fucks, it is cheaper to rent."

Everyone has heard how the black Tuskegee airmen personally won WW II. Bud flew with a captain who was flying B-24s on the same base as a black fighter squadron. According to the captain, the Tuskegee airmen were shooting down more B-24s than the Germans so the Army took armed fighters away from them and gave them unarmed reconnaissance fighters.

Another senior captain commented on getting older: "The only advantages to getting older that I have found is that I have more money and a larger portion of the female population appeals to me!"

Another captain said: "I never went to bed with an ugly woman, but I woke up with a few!"

Finally, a senior captain summed up sex: "Sex is 90% between the ears and the rest of it is heat and moisture."

Thirty- Six

Bud is flying a trip from Atlanta to San Diego with a stop in Los Angeles. Bud is walking down the concourse to the departure gate and sees a young couple looking at the flight information television monitors.

He thinks to himself: _That gal sure looks a lot like Ashley Williams. Son-of-a-bitch! That is Ashley Williams!_

Bud walks up behind Ashley and says: "Ma'am, do you require some assistance with the flight information?"

Ashley spun around and exclaims: "Bud!" She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him on the mouth - her looks, her voice, her scent, her touch, her kiss engulfed Bud with a flood of bittersweet nostalgia and seven years of painful memories. He felt a little weak in the knees.

Bud: "Ashley, you are as lovely as ever!"

Ashley: "Bud it is so great to see you. This is my husband, Trevor Stephens. Trevor, this is Bud Shuler, the Navy pilot who crash landed on our farm. I know you have heard us talk about it."

Bud shakes hands with Trevor who has a dead fish handshake. Trevor looks like a Trevor – right out of a soap opera! He is an exceedingly handsome man – almost pretty. He has a look on his face that is a combination of arrogance and a man who is in pain from an attack of hemorrhoids. Bud took an instant dislike to him. Bud knew that this was husband Number Two for Ashley. Bud can't believe that she married this narcissistic prick \- and this was her second try at it!

Bud: "Where are you two off to today?"

Ashley: "We are going to San Diego for a convention. Trevor's family owns the Mercedes dealership in Montgomery and Trevor is the vice-president."

Bud had already been apprised of that fact by Ashley's parents.

Bud tried to limit the sarcasm in his voice: "How nice. Does your flight stop in Los Angeles?"

Ashley: "Yes."

Bud: "Then we will be flying together today!"

Ashley: "Oh Bud, how wonderful! What a thrill!"

On the walk to the gate, Ashley and Bud talked about their families and the old times. Trevor had nothing to say.

Ashley: "Bud, did you fly to Vietnam much! I worried about you."

Bud: "Quite a bit. Some of the American public did not appreciate what we did in Vietnam. Actually, we did a pretty good job. Not one Viet-Cong even made it to Hawaii!"

Even the stoic Trevor laughed at that as he walked ahead of Ashley and Bud and ducked into the restroom.

As Ashley and Bud were waiting for Trevor, she said: "Bud, you are so funny."

Bud: "You wouldn't have thought so if you were there when I got your _Dear John_. You really broke my heart!"

Ashley said: "I'm so sorry Bud." and turned her head away as her eyes teared up.

Bud got the impression that everything was not copacetic between Ashley and Trevor. He felt like saying: _How's that decision to break up with me working out for you?_ However, he thought better of it and bit his tongue. Instead he mentally undressed her – Bud could almost smell it.

At the gate, Bud said: "I have work to do, but be sure and stop by the cockpit and say hello before you take your seats. By the way, where are you seats?"

Ashley: "Coach."

Bud went up to the gate agent and retrieved the flight plan and other paperwork and asked the gate agent: "My sister and her husband are on this flight today but are in coach. Is there any way you could upgrade them to first class?"

The agent: "It looks pretty good. Bring me their boarding passes and tell them to wait until I call them."

Bud went back to Ashley and Trevor: "Would you like to fly first class today?"

Ashley: "Oh Bud, that would be very nice!"

Bud: "Give me your boarding passes and wait for the agent to call you."

Dixie employs the _Hub and Spoke_ route system out of Atlanta – in spades. All cities in the Southeast feed into Atlanta. While there wouldn't be enough traffic to have a non-stop flight from Montgomery to Los Angeles, the Los Angles traffic from all smaller Southern cities comes first to Atlanta. This system is a bone of contention to the civic pride of these smaller cities who must always change planes in Atlanta. This situation led to the joke: _When you die and go to Heaven, you have to change planes in Atlanta!_

When Ashley and Trevor came into the cockpit, Ashley said: "Bud, we got first class."

Bud introduced Ashley and Trevor to the captain and copilot and they chatted a while with Ashley. Trevor had little to say.

After they left, the captain said: "What a beauty! She is drop-dead gorgeous! She could give a dead man a hard-on. Where do you know them from?"

Bud told them the story about him dead sticking the aircraft into Ashley's father's farm and their subsequent romance.

The captain: "Why did you ever let that one get away?"

Bud: "I didn't have a choice in the matter. She sent me a _Dear John_ when I was in Advanced Training in Corpus Christi."

The copilot who was a good friend of Bud's said: "I heard on good authority that his dick wasn't big enough!"

They all laughed.

Bud is putting on a good show outwardly, but inwardly he is seething. He felt like Humphrey Bogart in the movie _Casablanca_ when Ingrid Bergman came into his nightclub with her husband.

Bogart: "Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she has to walk into mine!"

Bud is thinking along similar lines: _Of all the Dixie flights, in all the airports, in all the world, she has to be on mine!_

Fact is, Bud had never forgotten Ashley Williams. He constantly dreamed about her. She retained a place in his heart and he carried a torch for her. Bud never got over it and is still bitter about the _Dear John_ \- especially when she probably threw Bud over for some other rich cock sucking pretty-boy snob like Trevor. As good as it was to see her again, the old wound was opened up.

En route to Los Angles, Bud went back to the cabin and asked Ashley: "Well Sis, how is the trip so far?"

When Ashley got this funny look on her face, Bud explained: "I told the gate agent you were my sister to get you in first class. They take care of family at Dixie."

Ashley laughed: "Everything is wonderful Brother. Thanks so much for doing this for us."

Bud: "It is my pleasure. Where are you staying in San Diego?"

Ashley: "At the Del Coronado. Where do the crews stay?"

Bud: "At the El Cortes, downtown."

When the flight landed in Los Angeles, Bud checked with the gate agent and he said the Stephens could remain in first class to San Diego.

When they deplaned the aircraft in San Diego, Ashley thanked Bud again and kissed him goodbye. Not once did Trevor thank Bud for the first class upgrade. Bud thinks that he is a real prick and can't believe Ashley married him.

On the ride in the crew bus from the airport to the hotel, the flight attendant from first class tells Bud: "Your brother-in-law can really put the booze away! I lost count, but he had at least eight Scotch and waters! Your so-called sister sure gave you the looks!"

Bud laughed along with the captain and copilot.

Bud: "At least my asshole brother-in-law has good taste in liquor – and women."

Bud went out to dinner with the captain, copilot, and a couple of the girls. When he got back to his room, he sees the flashing red light on the telephone.

Bud hits the retrieval buttons for the message and discovers that it is from Ashley: "Bud, it was wonderful seeing you after all these years. Thanks again for getting us first class. It was a real treat. I have managed to do it again - my marriage is on the rocks. This trip is an attempt by Trevor's father to have us patch things up. It is not working. He is downstairs in the bar getting more drunk than he already is. I think he is an alcoholic and possibly bi-sexual. I can't remember the last time we had sex. He's coming back! Got to go. Bye."

That message put Bud in a blacker mood than he was already in. Her message just rubbed salt in the wound. Bud wonders what the hell the message was all about anyway. Why is she telling him all of her troubles? She is the one who got herself into this mess. Let her get herself out! God almighty, there she is lying in bed at the Del Coronado across the bay in a negligee with some drunk limp dick that doesn't even want her. What a waste! Well, there is nothing he can do about it, so he might as well try and forget it. He never could.

Thirty-Seven

Bud gets a bid as DC-9 copilot. Dixie has finally gotten on the simulator bandwagon. After three training flight crashes in ten years, it was overdue. The worst of the crashes occurred in 1967 at New Orleans involving a DC-8. All six crewmembers were killed plus thirteen civilians in a motel that the airplane hit. A friend of Bud's got killed on a DC-9 training flight in Ft. Worth. The aircraft got caught in wake turbulence from an American DC-10 and crashed.

After ground school and simulator training, a few training flights are conducted in the airplane. On one flight Bud is one of the students and the other student is a former Army pilot who is having problems checking out. This Army pilot is so far behind the airplane that he would not get so much of a scratch if the airplane crashed. The instructor who has been training the Army pilot is really on his case. After the Army pilot's training, Bud then gets in the seat and completes his training. The instructor then gets a clearance back to Atlanta and requests routing via the 264 radial of the Savannah VOR to an intersection on the Atlanta arrival route. Bud starts digging in his flight kit to find the map and see what the route looks like.

The instructor then gets on the Army pilot who is sitting on the jump seat and says: "See him! He isn't going charging off blindly into the blue. He wants to know where he is going and I would too!"

Bud does not like the DC-9. The worst thing about it is that it has a terrible flight characteristic. You can be flying a stable approach with the correct airspeed and power up. Out of nowhere the pilots can feel a sinking feeling in their seats and the aircraft for no apparent reason sinks like a rock. You better be ready to apply an armload of power to correct the situation! This characteristic leads to at least two Dixie DC-9 crashes. On one of those crashes, a DC-9 was making an approach to the Louisville airport. The airplane went into a sink and touched down short of the runway before the pilots could recover. The DC-9 has another feature that Bud does not like called _auto-spoilers_. As soon as the main gear tires spin up on touchdown, the spoilers or speedbrakes pop up and kills all lift on the wing. Well, after a Louisville flight touched down short of the runway the wheels started spinning. By then the pilots added a lot of power. The spoilers will not deploy with the throttles up. The airplane bounced and once over the runway, the pilot closed the throttles for landing. The wheels were still spinning and as soon as the throttles were closed the spoilers deployed. The aircraft then experienced an extremely hard landing that broke the fuselage in half. Fortunately, no one was seriously injured. That airplane remained at Louisville for months while Dixie repaired it and returned it to service.

During stall testing of the British built BAC 111 prototype, the aircraft was entered into a nose high stall and never recovered. The aircraft crashed killing everyone on board. It was concluded that the rear mounted engines blocked normal airflow to the tail. Since the DC-9 had the identical configuration, FAA insisted that the DC-9 have adequate stall warning. Did they overdo it! The stall warning horn would wake up the dead! Its blaring rendered all cockpit conversation impossible. A DC-9 with Bud as copilot and the captain, Tony Futch, flying, departed Detroit on a dark and stormy night. Right after liftoff the stall warning starts blaring.

Tony screamed at Bud over the din: "You've got it!"

Tony then searched for and pulled the stall warning circuit breaker located behind Bud's seat. The flight had about three stops en route to Atlanta. At the next stop, maintenance replaced a part. Bud made the takeoff and Tony kept his hand on the circuit breaker. The damn thing went off again. At each stop, maintenance changed something else but the stall warning still went off at lift off. Bud and Tony got pretty good at this routine. It is a good thing they did because it still wasn't fixed by the time they got to Atlanta.

Tony and Bud flew together the entire month. Later in the month, they had a turn-around from Atlanta to Dayton, Ohio to Columbus, Ohio and back to Atlanta on their schedule. The weather in Ohio is lousy with low ceilings and visibility. It is Bud's turn to fly the first leg and when they get to Dayton he makes a successful autopilot approach to near minimums and lands. The flight is held on the ground for a time since the weather at Columbus is below minimums. They are finally cleared for takeoff with Tony flying the aircraft. Tony is a good pilot and an enjoyable captain to fly with. It's airline policy to use the autopilot during approaches to low minimums. When the flight gets to Columbus, Tony apparently wants to show Bud how good he can fly and elects to make a hand flown approach. He showed Bud alright! Tony let ego triumph over good operating procedure.

There is a principle in aviation as well as other fields known as _situational awareness_. Simply put, it is being aware of everything that is happening and is present around you. Fanny, God bless her, has none. Tony flies a very good approach and is on the glide slope and lineup all the way. He is concentrating so hard that he does not realize that the aircraft is cocked to the right because of a rather substantial crosswind. At minimums, Bud announces that the runway is in sight to the left. Tony should have kept the heading he had and continued to landing on the runway centerline. But no! Tony looks up from the instruments and turns to the left pointing the aircraft at the runway. In a few moments, the aircraft is pushed by the crosswind to the left of the runway. Tony then executes some very aggressive maneuvering at a very low altitude to get the aircraft lined back up with the runway. Bud is sitting in the right seat watching things unfold while attempting to twist the armrests off of his seat.

Once Tony gets the aircraft stopped and off the runway, Bud says; "Jesus!"

The good natured Tony apologies to Bud. Tony hopefully learned a lesson from this.

The other thing Bud did not like about the DC-9 was the two-man crew. The two-man crew is a compromise between economics and safety. The two-man crew is fine during normal operations. When things go abnormal, things become marginal in a hurry. When there is a problem in the cabin, the second officer or flight engineer can be sent back to take care of it. A two-man crew does not have that luxury. Bud was on a flight, also out of Detroit, when the cockpit lights began to flicker. The flight is in the clouds and the captain was concentrating on flying the aircraft. This situation left Bud to handle the problem and talk to ATC. Bud discovered that an engine generator was fluctuating. Bud was in the middle of disconnecting the generator and starting the auxiliary power unit for back up electrical power, when the stewardess began banging on the cockpit door. Bud had to abandon what he was doing, run his seat to the rear, and open the door. The stewardess announced that the cabin lights were flickering. Bud said he knew and was trying to correct the problem while mumbling under his breath that he would have had it fixed by now if it wasn't for the _fucking interruption_.

On another occasion, Bud is on a flight that is being held in Augusta because the weather is down in Atlanta. After a short delay, the flight is cleared to Atlanta where the weather has remarkably improved to about a 400 ft. ceiling and one mile visibility – way above minimums. The flight is radar vectored to intercept the localizer and is cleared for the approach. It's the captain's leg and he tries to connect the autopilot for an automated approach. Well, the autopilot will not connect so he has to hand fly it. The captain goes high on the glide slope and does not make the necessary corrections in spite of Bud's warnings. The aircraft breaks out of the overcast about halfway down the runway – too long for landing. Therefore, the flight goes around. Approach control asks if they saw the runway. Bud diplomatically says yes but we had an equipment malfunction. Just then, the stewardess starts banging on the door. Bud doesn't like it, but he must run his seat to the rear to unlock the door. Bud, for good reason, is keeping a close eye on the captain and does not like being out of reach of the controls.

The stewardess sticks her ugly kisser in the cockpit and states the obvious: "We went around!" - a total waste of Bud's time and attention.

The flight gets cleared for another approach. The same thing happens and the captain has to hand fly it the second time. The captain starts going high again and Bud warns him. Finally, Bud asks the captain if he is OK and does he want Bud to take over. The captain says no.

Finally, Bud says: "Get on the damn glideslope," overrides the controls, and puts the aircraft back on the glideslope.

Bud gets off of the controls and the captain makes a successful approach and landing. At the gate, the captain did not say he was screwed up or thank Bud for the help. Bud thinks _Fuck him!_ He didn't like the guy anyway. Bud should have gone and told the Chief Pilot about this incident but he didn't.

Thirty-Eight

Fanny and Bud decide it is time to buy a house. They settle on a four bedroom/three bathroom ranch with a full partially finished basement situated on 5.5 acres in Alpharetta, north of Atlanta. After a whopping 25% down the monthly payment is $349 a month. Bud who is now making $ 1,800 a month lies in bed worrying what would happen if he lost his job. Most folks stick their necks out financially sometime in their lives. Hopefully nothing bad happens in the meantime. Bud then bids and gets a position as B-747 engineer which pays $400 a month more than DC-9 copilot. Bud hates going back to flight engineer but he needs the money. Bud is part of the second wave of the 747. After the first wave is trained by Boeing in Seattle, Dixie contracts American Air Lines to conduct the second wave of 747 training in Dallas/Ft. Worth.

The American training facility is pretty impressive – no expense has been spared. The simulators have one of the first visual systems. The visual system consists of a model train type of layout except with a miniature airport on the side of a wall. The visual is provided by a small television camera that is moved by directions of the pilot in the simulator. The problem is that there are only two of these models that have to be shared among all of the simulators. The Dixie crews are put up in apartments at the Cibola Inn in nearby Arlington. There is a Mexican restaurant a short walk away and lots of available women. What else could an airline pilot want?

Dixie's 747 operation is the best Bud has been on at Dixie. Dixie only has five airplanes and all of the layovers are usually 24 hour ones in Miami, Washington DC, Los Angeles, and San Francisco. Dixie's 747 community is a very close group. A group of stewardesses liked the 747 so pilots and the stewardesses tended to know each other very well.

Flying the 747 as an engineer is a pretty easy and good job once the airplane got off the ground. Up to that point, however, it could be pretty hectic. Bud likened the job to being the janitor on the _Hindenburg_. The 747 had fourteen emergency exit doors – seven down each side. Each door had an inflatable emergency exit slide that allowed the passengers to evacuate the aircraft on the ground in case of an emergency. These slides were armed by a panel that engaged a bar from the doors onto two lugs on the door's frame. These bars were constantly sticking and the stewardesses often could not get the bars to engage into the automatic position. The aircraft could not taxi until all the bars were in the auto position. During push back from the gate, Bud would get a call from one of the stewardesses saying she could not get her door into automatic. Invariably it was always one of door seven's slides at the rear of the aircraft. Bud would have to get out of his seat, walk down the spiral staircase and walk over 200 ft. to the rear of the cabin and work on the door. He always got these curious and sometimes alarming looks from the passengers wondering what is wrong. Bud would have to get down on his hands and knees and get the bar to engage. Once engaged he would call the cockpit and tell them all is well. The captain could then taxi the aircraft. Bud would have to hurry the 200 plus feet back to the cockpit, up the stairs, prepare the takeoff data card, and read the checklist. Once airborne, Bud could relax and the flight was normally routine after that.

One of the trips was on the Pan Am interchange. Dixie would fly from Atlanta to Dulles in Washington and Pan Am would continue offering the passengers same plane service to London. The Dixie crew had a 24-hour layover in downtown Washington. Somebody found a restaurant within walking distance of the hotel that offered free drinks before and during dinner. Bud and the copilot with about a dozen stewardesses in tow waltz into this restaurant and are seated at several tables at the front. Well, the crew has a great time with the free drinks and have a real party. Like any party, Bud's crowd causes somewhat of a disturbance to the other patrons at the restaurant. The next trip, Bud and the copilot organize another party. When they walk in the front door of the restaurant, they are taken to a private room at the back of the restaurant. Bud doesn't fly to Washington for a month or so, but when he does another party is organized. When they arrive at the restaurant the free drink deal is no longer offered. Bud asks the waitress what happen to the free drink deal.

She replies: "We had to quit it. The airline crews were breaking us!"

This was Bud's first experience with Pan Am. The airlines employ a maintenance carryover system. If some item on the aircraft needs fixing and is not essential for flight, the item can be placarded for fixing at some future time. Dixie's fleet of several hundred airplanes generally carried about a dozen or so placards for its entire fleet. Bud picked up one Pan Am 747 in Atlanta that had more placards on one airplane than Dixie's entire fleet!

The number one trip of the 747 left Atlanta around four in the afternoon and after a stop in Dallas, had a 24-hour layover in San Francisco. On a particular trip, Bud walks into the bar at the hotel that is filled with Dixie crews.

As Bud stands there looking for members of his crew, this stewardess says: "Hello Bud."

Bud and this gal had done some sightseeing on a Washington layover and Bud had bought her lunch. At this time, two other pilots were hustling her at the bar. The girl, who was the daughter of a preacher from Rome, Georgia, and Bud pick up where they left off and the other two guys eventually wandered off. Bud takes her out and buys her dinner and returns to the hotel to watch a football game Bud wanted to see. Bud asks her is she wants to watch it at the bar or in his room. She says the bar. The bar is extremely noisy and seating is scarce. She then suggests that Bud's room would probably be better. In Bud's room she plops down on the bed. Bud turns on the TV and plops down next to her.
They watch the game for a while and Bud thinks: What the hell, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

He leans over and kisses her. She does not respond but has a big smile on her face. After a little while, Bud kisses her again - still, no response. Bud gives up and goes back to watching the game. He then feels a hand on his crotch. The girl is wearing a jump suit type of outfit with a zipper all the way down the front. Bud reaches over and opens the zipper all of the way down. Apparently she was not the kissy type!

On another trip to San Fran, Bud is sitting with several guys and one girl, drinking beer and telling jokes. The girl is Matti Morrison. She is known to be a little loose and the other stewardesses do not like her. They apparently object to her giving away free what they want something for.

Well, Matti who has been pretty quiet says: "I have a date tonight, but I wish I didn't. I want to go out with you."

Bud looks around and says: "Are you talking to me." Bud had not hustled her at all.

She replies: "Yes, I am talking to you."

So Bud suggests that they have lunch the next day and they agree to a time. Matti does not have a face that would launch a thousand ships but she does have a tremendous set of tits, like a football cut in half, which she likes showing off.

After lunch the next day, they walk into the Buena Vista Café, the bar that introduced Irish coffee to the United States, and Bud overhears some guy say: "Those can't be real."

Bud finally gets her back to his room and discovers that they are in fact real! Matti has this routine of faint resistance she goes through before submitting.

Once she submitted and apparently had all the humping she wants, she asks Bud: "Can you cum?" When Bud says he can.

She replies: "Well do it."

It turns out that is her trigger. When her partner has his orgasm, she has hers. Bud sees why she is so popular with the guys. Bud has another layover with Matti in Los Angeles - same routine. Bud knows she is going to let him have it and she knows she is going to let him have it, but she still goes through the same program of faint resistance before submitting and once again asks him if he can cum.

Bud does not understand society's obsession with large breasts - partly because he is an ass-man! Matti had the largest breasts of any woman he ever had sex with, but the breasts played no part in the sexual pleasure. All the breasts did during the lovemaking was roll around like big globs of Jell-O. As a matter of fact, Bud would rate his sexual experience with Matti as average. Why do women get breast implants? Bud finds that a big turnoff. Likewise, society is also obsessed with penis size. Penis size matters only in the pornographic industry but nowhere else. Large penises are not the answer to a successful relationship with a woman. Bud knew a couple of guys, allegedly with big dicks, and neither one could keep a wife. Besides, how do lesbians sexually satisfy each other with little or no penetration? In addition, female masturbation does not normally involve penetration nor does culliningus. There are undoubtedly some women who like large penises, but there is an equal or greater number that prefer small ones.

Bud was at the height of his extra-marital sexual dalliances. Bud got home from an uneventful trip and was in bed with Fanny. When he reached for her she said: "Don't get too excited. I have an infection."

Bud: "You sure seem to having a lot of those of late."

Fanny: "If you didn't mess around on your layovers, I wouldn't be getting them."

Bud was extremely grateful that the lights were out and she couldn't see the expression on his face! He was also grateful Fanny wasn't the jealous type!

Fanny and Bud ventured back to Knoxville for Bud's tenth college reunion. They stayed with Alice and Glen Hurley. Alice asked Bud if they were going to go to the football game. When Bud said yes, Alice said she thought she could get a couple of tickets. When Bud was at school, the capacity of Neyland Stadium was 46,000. Now it was up to 70,000 by the addition of an upper deck. Fanny and Bud made their way to Alice's seats on the upper deck closest to the river. By the time they got to their row, Bud was on his hands and knees. The seats were on the very top row. Bud is acrophobic and was not very comfortable the entire game – especially when the crowd started stomping their feet and the stands began to vibrate. Some people find it hard to believe that a pilot can be afraid of heights, but it is very common. Looking down from an airplane, where you cannot possibly fall out of and looking down from a high structure or precipice, where you can fall out of or off, is the difference.

Bud has two very self- satisfying encounters at the reunion get-together that evening. The first was with Dick Horton. Dick had been a BMOC (big man on campus) and a member of one of the biggest snob and elitist fraternities on campus at that time. Dick was in Air Force ROTC and during the junior year summer camp was proclaimed as the _Outstanding Cadet_ of the class. During his senior year, Dick let it be known that he was going to be the greatest pilot ever to come out of the University of Tennessee. Well, it didn't quite turn out that way and he wound up in helicopters. There were several other Tennessee graduates who had gotten a job with Dixie and informed Bud of Dick's story. After Dick got out of the Air Force he applied for a job at Dixie. During his interview with the physiologist, the physiologist mentioned that he noticed that Dick's daughter was born only six months after his marriage.

Well, Dick became very indignant and proclaimed: "She's legitimate, she's legitimate!"

Dixie did not offer Dick a job. Bud approached Dick at the reunion and discussed mutual acquaintances from UT and Bud told him that he was a pilot with Dixie. Dick said that he applied with Dixie but decided that he wanted to stay at his home town and go into the family insurance business. Dick was such a blowhard that Bud got a real chuckle out of his story and had a hard time keeping a straight face.

The second encounter was with one of Bud's fraternity brothers and his wife, Dave and Jane Baker. Dave and Jane were totally consumed with their own self-importance. They were the type of people that you would like to buy for what you thought they were worth and sell them for what they thought they were worth. Jane considered Fanny as an inferior mainly because Fanny was not a member of a sorority while at UT. Once during a fraternity party when they were at school, some girl asked Fanny what sorority she was in.

When Fanny said she wasn't in one, a buddy of Bud's spoke up: "If you are good looking enough, you don't have to be in a sorority!"

Bud talks to Dave who was a major in the Army's Corps of Engineers and asked about his assignments and duty in Vietnam. Jane blabbed on about their present assignment to the Pentagon and the neighborhood they lived in along with some airline pilots.

She remarked: "And do those guys make the money!"

Never once did Dave and Jane ask Fanny and Bud about what they were doing. Well, they were sitting at a table with another couple who mentioned that they had just taken a trip on the 747.

Fanny saw an opening and spoke up: "Why that is what Bud is flying now!"

Jane's and Dave's jaws both hit the table. All in all, it was a very satisfying evening!

Thirty-Nine

Bud stays on the 747 for a little over a year and then gets a bid as DC-8 copilot. By now Dixie has a DC-8 simulator, but Bud gets sent to Dallas to do all his flight training there in the airplane. Bud does not like the DC-8. The 8 was Douglas's first large jet powered aircraft. The design team was afraid pilots would overstress the aircraft so they made the flight control system very stiff. It was like driving a car without power steering, especially the stretched version. Bud likened it to having the flight controls in a barrel of hardening concrete. Some of the smallish pilots who went to the 8 began a weight lifting program so they could control the aircraft better. Bud was a copilot flying into Newark.

The captain was wrestling with a pretty good crosswind and says to Bud: "Help me!"

Bud gave him a hand. Boeing on the other hand had considerable experience starting with the B-47 on large jet powered aircraft. The 707 was much lighter on the controls and an easier aircraft to fly.

One captain lamented: "The last good aircraft Douglas built was the DC-3."

Bud never flew the DC-3, but based on Bud's unpleasant experience with the C-54, DC-9 and DC-8, he would have to agree with that statement.

Bud was a junior DC-8 copilot. During the last two weeks of December, Bud finds he has moved up to a San Francisco layover. The pilots have a process called _moving up_. Let's say that a pilot has bid and won a line of time, but has a two week vacation during that month. The two weeks of flying that he will miss is opened for bid by other pilots. The reason Bud got this line of time is that one of the trips leaves Atlanta Christmas eve, flies non-stop to San Francisco for a 48 hours layover, and flies non-stop back to Atlanta the day after Christmas. That did not bother Bud a bit. Fanny and Bud celebrated Christmas for Bud Jr. on December 23. Fanny and Bud Jr. then flew with Bud out to San Francisco where they in essence enjoyed a two day company paid vacation. Bud rented a car on Christmas day and they visited Monterey, Carmel, and Muir Woods. When they returned to the hotel, they were treated to a complimentary turkey dinner by the hotel. That is what is called making the best out of a bad situation.

One of the great perks of an airline job is free air travel and discounted travel costs. The travel industry scratched each other's backs. Virtually every airline had agreements with the other airlines for employee discounted tickets or passes – this was called _Interline_. Some were 75% off and others 90% off. Various tours, cruises and hotels were also heavily discounted. New Dixie employees and their immediate family members received several passes a year. After several years of service the passes were unlimited. The employee's parents also received two free passes a year. There were even several travel agencies that specialized in discount packages for the travel industry.

Bud and Fanny signed up for a tour package to Hong Kong. To get there, Bud bought discounted tickets from TWA. The TWA portion of the flight departed from Los Angeles. Bud and Fanny flew Dixie to LA were they spent the night to ensure they made their TWA flight the next day. The flight went to Hawaii, Guam, and Taiwan before arriving in Hong Kong – it took about 24 hours. In Hong Kong, they were put up at a four star hotel. Fanny and Bud had just traveled about half- way around the world – 12 hours time difference from Atlanta. Their diurnal clock was totally screwed up and they could not go to sleep, even though they were dead tired.

Bud's fraternity brother, Ron Poehlman, worked for the CIA in Hong Kong. They got together several times during Bud's and Fanny's time in Hong Kong. Ron lived in an apartment on Victoria, an island in Hong Kong, with his wife who was a secretary for the CIA. The apartment was very nice with a view of the harbor and a live in maid called an _amah_. The _amah_ did everything – cleaned, cooked, the laundry and grocery shopped. She even made Don and his wife a cocktail when they came home from work. Fanny and Bud were fascinated and impressed!

Bud managed to get a private moment with Ron and told him that he could attest to the fact, on two separate occasions, that _A.D. Pis_ from Tennessee as well as from Auburn did have pussies! Ron got a big laugh out of that!

One of the great shopping places in Hong Kong at the time was the store that featured handicrafts from Communist China. They bought beautiful hand embroider linens, carved ivory and other items all at ridiculously low prices. Bud and Fanny bought all they could comfortably carry.

The tour package included a lunch on a boat and a tour of a Chinese village. The lunch did not sit well with Bud. During the walking tour of the village, Bud, who was bringing up the rear of the group, heard a commotion behind him. He looked behind and saw a Chinese grandma empty the diaper of a toddler who had crapped in his pants right onto the sidewalk. The feces was scoffed up by a dog. That was all Bud needed. His lunch began banging against his tonsils. Somehow Bud managed to keep his lunch down! If he had thrown up, the dog would have scoffed that up too!

With the stay over, Bud and Fanny headed home – the same way they came. Fanny had bought a large conical Chinese farmer's hat from a street vendor for $1. Bud had protested and ask her how the hell she was going to get it home. Fanny said that she would wear it. The hat was a sensation at the airports along the way and several people tried to buy it from her. Bud and Fanny had met a TWA pilot and his wife who were on the same tour. When the return flight got to Hawaii, the TWA couple flew on to San Francisco. Bud changed his flight via San Fran to be with the TWA folks. When they arrived in San Fran, they connected with a Dixie milk-run to Atlanta with stops in Dallas, New Orleans, and Birmingham. They arrived in Atlanta at 3 a.m. after spending 33 hours on airplanes and in airports. Bud left Fanny to collect the bags while he went to get the car. Bud was nonplussed when he found the car's battery dead! Bud luckily managed to find someone with jumper cables. When Bud finally made it to pickup Fanny he found an understandably pissed- off wife wondering where the hell he had been. When Bud and Fanny finally made it home they were dead tired again but wide awake – their diurnal clock screwed up again. So, Bud had a few drinks, while they opened up all of their purchases and Fanny fixed breakfast.

Forty

Bud happened to be visiting Mr. and Mrs. Williams with Fanny and Bud Jr. only to find Ashley there as well for a weekend visit from Montgomery. Bud had not seen Ashley since the trip to San Diego over a year ago. She took Bud's breath away with her hair done up in Bud's favorite way – a French braid. The childless Ashley had just gone through her second divorce from dear Trevor. Fanny was feeding Bud Jr. and the Williams were organizing lunch, leaving Bud alone with Ashley on the porch.

Bud: "Ashley, you are more beautiful than ever and you remembered my favorite hairdo."

Ashley beamed: "Why thank you Bud. Your son is a little darling. I wish he was mine."

Bud: "I know where you can get one just like that."

Ashley laughed: "I like Fanny. She is pretty, very sweet, and a good mother. Mom and Dad like her too. I could just scratch her eyes out!"

Bud laughed.

Ashley: "Bud, you never sent me any presents \- only for Mom and Gracie. Gracie delighted in telling me what you had sent her and called me as soon as it arrived. She always had a crush on you."

Bud: "She sent me some real hot thank you notes. I always wanted a little bit of that. I considered calling her during one of Fanny and my breakups."

Ashley exclaimed: "You didn't!"

Bud: "No, but I thought about it. I would have too, but Fanny and I made up. You wouldn't have had a problem with that, would you!"

Ashley: "You're damn right I would have!"

Bud: "So you didn't want me, but didn't want your sister to have me either. Right?"

Ashley: "I guess that is right. Sorry, but I can't help it."

Bud laughed: "But you would have been such a nice sister-in-law! Maybe we could have had a _ménage a trios_!"

Ashley: "Oh just shut up!"

Bud continued laughing: "Now you have hurt my feelings! You know you are being a little hypocrite. Since I didn't call her, it is a moot point. Anyway, why in the hell would I send you any presents? Aren't you the one who broke up with me? To be honest, I was being a little vindictive and sent the presents to Gracie and your mother partly to get back at you. I wanted you to know what you were missing out on."

Ashley: "I missed out on a lot more than just presents. Bud, the only reason I came down here this weekend was because Mom called me and told me you would be here. I have always regretted breaking up with you. It was the worst mistake I ever made in my life. We had such great fun together and got along so well with each other."

Bud: "Great sex too!"

Ashley: "Yes and that too. You are the best lover I ever had – although I have only had three – my two ex-husbands and you. Although I love sex, I am not promiscuous. I only have sex with men that I love or think I love. I'll never forget our first time."

Bud: "Yes, that was quite a night that I'll never forget and think of it often. If someone did not know any better, they might come to the erroneous conclusion that the two people we are presently discussing just might have been in love; however, I guess I was the one you just thought you were in love with. I am glad you only had two other lovers. I only have to add two men to my kill list!"

Ashley: "Bud stop! You are going to get me crying! You weren't the one I thought I loved!"

Bud: "So, if you thought we made such a perfect pair, why did you break up with me? Was it all just a summer love?"

Ashley: "Partly. I got caught up in the environment back at school. I also thought you would never be able to financially support me in the manner in which I was accustomed. I was wrong. So I married two worthless rich pretty boys. Dad is a good judge of character and never liked either of my husbands. My father said I was an idiot for not marrying you. He and Mom always thought you hung the moon."

Bud: "I wholeheartedly agree with your father and mother. Was your first husband as big of a shithead as Trevor?"

Ashley: "Worse. He was also an alcoholic and when he got drunk, he would slap me around."

Bud: "It is probably a good thing that I did not know about that."

Ashley: "Bud, it wasn't your problem – it was mine. I didn't dare tell my father. No telling what he may have done."

Bud: "Ashley, I would have made it my problem. I have never gotten over you. I will always defend you and be your champion. Not a day goes by without me thinking about you and I dream about you constantly. My love for you has endured. I have never stopped loving you and will continue to love you until the day I die."

Ashley eyes teared up – Bud's confession of his love for her was what she had been waiting for. She put her head on Bud's shoulder and sobbed: "Oh Bud. I've been such a fool."

It was Bud's turn for his eyes to tear up. Bud put his arm around Ashley and kissed her on the forehead: "My dear, we make many choices in life - some turn out good and some not so good. One cannot spend his or her life agonizing over the bad choices. Who knows if you and I could have made a marriage work. We must press ahead and consider that everything turns out for the best to maintain our sanity."

Ashley: "Bud, I still love you too. I also dream about you constantly. If you still want me, you can have me whenever and wherever you want. I will be there. No strings attached. I don't care if you have 10 wives. I don't think I like being married anyway. All I know is that I want you to hold me in your arms again. I come to Atlanta on business about once a month and will be there in two weeks. "

Bud is thunderstruck. Ashley, the woman of his dreams, is giving herself to him on a silver platter! Total, unconditional surrender! Bud had assumed that she would never have anything to do with him again because he was married. Turns out, she could care less! It was all he could do to restrain himself from jumping her right then and there.

Instead he said: "The answer to your question is that I still want you as much as ever. I will be looking forward to your visit with the greatest anticipation! As a matter of fact, I will come to Montgomery if necessary. I will also buy you a barrel of perfume if that is what you'd like! There is only one problem."

Ashley: "What is it?"

Bud: "I don't think I can wait two weeks. I want you now!"

Ashley laughed: "Well, I want you now too, but we are just going to have to wait."

Bud: "How about giving me a little smell?"

Ashley exclaimed: "Bud, how disgusting!"

Bud: "Sorry!"

Mrs. Williams announces that lunch is ready and the conversation is ended. Bud is so excited he can hardly eat. Bud could not keep his eyes off of Ashley and they made constant eye contact.

Bud was sitting in the living room reading later that day, when Ashley came up behind him, kissed him on the cheek, and stuck her female scented finger under his nose. Bud grabbed Ashley's hand and sucked her finger.

Ashley: "Will that hold you for another two weeks?"

Bud: "I don't know. That thing smells pretty ripe. Do you think it will last for another two weeks?"

Ashley laughed. She wasn't offended because she knew Bud loved her scent: "Bud, you are terrible!"

Bud: "You think I am terrible now? Just wait until I get you alone and get my hands on you!"

Ashley: "Ooh, now I don't think I can wait two weeks either!"

Bud spent the remainder of the visit sneaking touches, kisses, and handfuls of tits and ass from Ashley at every opportunity. They also played footsy under the table during meals. Before Bud left, Ashley slipped him a piece of paper with her work and home phone numbers.

The time Bud spent waiting for Ashley to come to Atlanta was the longest two weeks of his life. He was like a six-year old waiting for Christmas to arrive. He thought the day would never come. When the day finally came, Bud was in as bad of shape as he was the first time he and Ashley were intimate in Brewton.

Ashley had a good job in the financial world and made an excellent salary. She arranged her meetings on Friday and just stayed in Atlanta over the weekend.

Bud told Fanny that he had picked up a trip. He dressed in his uniform and went to Ashley's hotel. He had called Crew Scheduling and found one of his friends was on duty. Bud told him that under no circumstance was he to call the house today. Bud said he was going on a secret mission. The scheduler laughed and said that was no problem. He said he would leave a note for the next shift.

After Bud arrived at Ashley's hotel room, they flew into each other's arms and kissed for a very long time. Ashley remembered Bud's favorites: her hair in a French braid – plus another surprise. Bud in turn remembered the coconut scented suntan lotion. When they came up for air, Bud gave Ashley a present.

Ashley opened the present finding a bottle of Joy perfume.

Ashley: "Bud how sweet! Thank you very much!"

Bud: "It is going to cost you a little sex!"

Ashley: "I was hoping it was going to cost me a lot of sex! I haven't had any for over a year. "

Bud: "Ok, have it your way. It is going to cost you a lot of sex!"

Ashley: "Bud, you don't have to use a condom. When I knew I was going to see you at Mom's and Dad's, I got back on the pill. I was confident that I could seduce you."

Bud: "Wasn't that being a little presumptuous?"

Ashley: "I don't think so. When we met on the trip to San Diego, I could tell that you were still in love with me and wanted me!"

Bud: "I didn't realize that it was that obvious!"

Ashley: "Only to me."

Bud: "Let's face it, you could seduce any man you wanted. All you have to do is blink those big brown eyes a few times and wiggle your ass a little."

Ashley: "You are the only man I want to seduce!"

Bud: "Speaking of the flight to San Diego. The stewardess in first class mentioned that my so called sister sure gave me the looks."

Ashley laughed: "See, women just have a sixth sense about these things!"

Bud thinks: _Let's just hope Fanny doesn't have the sixth sense!_

As they headed for the bed, Ashley started to unbutton her blouse.

Bud said: "Stop! I didn't open your present. I prefer opening my own present. After all, I have only been waiting and thinking about this for almost seven years!"

Bud slowly undressed Ashley while kissing her. When he got her down to her black bra and panties – Bud's favorite underwear color, he pushed her down on the bed and said: "Now I am going to kiss and lick you from your toes to your nose."

Ashley almost had an orgasm!

Bud proceeded to do just that. He started by sucking and licking her toes. He kissed and licked the inside of her thighs. When he got to her panties, he fondled her without taking them off. The old magic was still there. He felt and smelled her through the silk. Ashley had the same little wet spot and the same erotic scent Bud always loved.

Bud thinks: _Something is amiss_. He pulled her panties down a little and discovered she had shaved!

Bud: "Wow, you have pulled out all of the stops!"

Ashley: "I did it just for you!"

Bud: "Are you trying to bewitch me more than you already have?"

Ashley: "Yes! Is it working?"

Bud: "Without a doubt. Has Venus missed me?"

Ashley: "More than you will ever know!"

Bud: "We are going to have to get reacquainted!"

Bud kissed and ran his tongue around her _Mound of Venus_. Bud made his way to her breasts and took off her bra. When he took Ashley's nipple into his mouth, she grabbed his head with both hands and moaned.

Bud went south, took off her panties and said: "Now I am going to do you just like the first time except I am going to add _The Oyster_ and something new."

The something new was Bud putting a dollop of the suntan lotion on his index finger and massaging Ashley's anus externally while performing culliningus. Ashley was shocked but it felt sooooo good! When Bud judged that Ashley had enough oral stimulation, he mounted her. She shuttered and moaned with pleasure as she had her orgasm along with Bud.

Ashley: "I never thought you could possibly get better at that, but you have exceeded my expectations! That was deliciously naughty and the best orgasm I have ever had to date! I've really missed _The Oyster_!"

Bud: "Just wait until you see what I have in mind later."

Ashley: "Ooh! I can't wait! What is it?"

Bud: "A surprise!"

When later came after having intercourse several times, Bud said: "Have you ever gone Greek?"

Ashley:"What's that?"

Bud: "Anal sex."

Ashley: "No, but I am willing to try it for you. Trevor asked me to do it but I wouldn't let him. When you said you had a surprise, you weren't kidding you little devil!"

Bud: "If it is too painful, just let me know. I have fantasized about screwing your beautiful little ass for years!"

What Bud just said really turned Ashley on and now she wanted him to screw her up the ass too. Bud was going through his anal ritual of first lubing her up. Bud was quivering with anticipation. He sodomized her from the rear first and concluded with her on her back. He finished very quickly which was just as well for Ashley's first time. She liked it and had an orgasm!

Bud: "Well, how did you like going Greek?"

Ashley: "It was a little uncomfortable at first, but once I got warmed up and into it, it felt good. Did you like doing it to me?"

Bud: "Did I? Of course! It was one of the most exciting things I have ever done. I am glad you liked it, because you are going to be seeing a lot of it! It is my new thing! Sorry I am such a pervert."

Ashley: "You're not a pervert! I think you're my little sex god!"

Ashley and Bud went at it the rest of the day, all night and all the next day and night. They only paused to have some food from room service. They did it every way Bud had ever heard of or could think of.

Bud: "As you have obviously noticed, I am now going through my anal age."

Ashley laughed: "Yes and I love it! Bud, you have taken me to the top of the mountain! You have put a smile on my lips for the foreseeable future. There was only one thing wrong with this weekend."

Bud: "What was that? Did I do something wrong?"

Ashley: "No! It is my self-reproach and self-loathing for breaking up with you in the first place. What in God's name was I thinking? I just can't believe that I could have been so stupid, a gold-digger and had such little faith in you! And the worst part is that I wasted seven years without you and let another other woman get you in the process."

Bud: "Forget about the past. What matters is now and the future. I love you and now you are mine again! That is all I care about now! I'll do anything you want."

Ashley: "Yes, I love you too and I am yours!"

Ashley had to check out of the hotel at noon on Sunday so Bud finally had to drag himself away from her and reluctantly left. It had been like a honeymoon. Bud and Ashley continued to get together every time she came to Atlanta. Occasionally, Bud would tell Fanny he had picked up a trip and would spend the weekend with Ashley in Montgomery.

What is it about anal sex – corn holing, butt fucking, the Hershey highway, fudge packing, the Hershey chute, or going Greek? It can be messy, disgusting, and painful. Bud was sexually active almost 15 years before he even thought about it. It was the sexual revolution of the late 1960s and early 1970s and the proliferation of legal pornography in public movie houses that brought the act to his attention. Going Greek eventually became Bud's thing – his fetish. Two of Bud's sexual regrets in life were not going Greek with his high-school girlfriend and Daphne. He fantasized about going anal with those two constantly. Ashley used to be on that list too, but that fantasy had been realized. Bud's fascination and desire for the act is heightened by the fact that Fanny does not like it because it is too painful. She only submits to it after a considerable amount of begging, groveling, and pressuring by Bud and only on rare occasions such as Bud's birthday, on trips (Bud refers to this as _The Vacation Special_ ) or after Bud gives her a big ticket item. Not so with Ashley. She takes to it like a duck to water. She even reaches orgasm during anal sex. On one of their trysts, Bud asked Ashley to go Greek. Ashley replies that she has been thinking about just that all the way over here from Montgomery. On another occasion, Ashley was lying on her stomach and Bud is drilling her up the butt. Bud began to run out of gas and slow down.

Ashley was getting close and moaned to Bud: "Don't stop!"

This was all the urging Bud needed. He immediately got his second wind and finished her off. Sometimes Ashley would wiggle her ass after anal when she was lying on her stomach. Bud did not know why she did that and he never asked her. All he knew was that he liked it. Bud apologetically confesses to Ashley that he does not know why he likes anal sex so much.

Ashley replies: "Probably because it is forbidden."

Forty-One

In 1972, Dixie bought, merged if you will, Northeast Airlines. Northeast brought along Boeing 727s and Dixie ordered more – a lot more. Dixie ultimately operated 129 B-727s – more than any other airline in the world. Bud who was pretty junior on the DC-8, bid 727 copilot. Bud was given a choice of attending school with American in Dallas or Boeing in Seattle. Bud had heard great stories from the 747 guys who went to school at Boeing. Having already seen American, Bud decided to go to school in Seattle – big mistake. For starters, the 747 guys were in Seattle during the summer. Bud was there in the dead of the depressing/gray/wet Seattle winter. In addition, the bar at the hotel they stayed at in Renton was undergoing renovation and was closed most of the time Bud was there. The bright spot in all of this was that Ashley flew out to Seattle and spent a few days with Bud. Bud managed to get through the school and returned to Atlanta.

Although Bud did not like the location of his 727 training, he loved the airplane. It was rumored that the people who designed the Convair 880 took jobs with Boeing when Convair got out of airliner manufacturing. The two aircraft had a lot of similarities. When the 727 was designed, United wanted it to have the range to fly from Chicago to Los Angeles and Eastern wanted it to operate out of New York's LaGuardia airport which then only had 5,000 ft. runways. For competitive purposes, Boeing wanted it to be the fastest airliner in the sky. The 727 met all of those requirements. The DC-9 was redlined at 350 kts. The 727 was over 60 knots faster and could indicate a staggering 415 knots indicated at 20,000 ft. The so called hot corporate jet, the Lear Jet, was redlined at 250 knots indicated. The 727 did have some early troubles. To operate out of LaGuardia, the wing had a considerable amount of high lift devices. You don't get something for nothing, since high drag comes along with high lift. Pilots were flying the 727 like the old propeller aircraft. They were making steep approaches with 40 flaps and power off. When they attempted to flare the aircraft for landing – the aircraft would keep on descending. After the problem was identified the airlines began a training program to avoid getting into this position. A 40 flap landing was only four knots slower than a 30 flap landing, but sometimes you need everything you can get. Some airlines, including Northeast, even bolted off the 40 flap position and only made 30 flap landings. After the merger, Dixie removed the bolts and routinely did 40 flap landings.

The 727 was extremely maneuverable for a category type transport and a pilot could make it do just about anything he wanted. One of Bud's first trips on the 727 included a leg from Shreveport, Louisiana to Beaumont, Texas. The cruise altitude was around 20,000 ft. Bud developed a technique of staying at 20,000 ft. until 50 miles from Beaumont. He would close the throttles and fly on the barber pole (maximum airspeed) until 10,000 where he would have to slow to the mandated 250 knots and continue the descent to the airport, only having to add power on short final. Spoilers, or speedbrakes, are panels on the top rear of the wings that slow the aircraft. The spoilers on the 727 were very effective and would slow the aircraft down or aid in descent if needed.

Bud is flying a trip to Ft. Lauderdale. There was a thunderstorm north of the field and they landed to the west with a 10 knot crosswind. There wasn't any other traffic so the tower cleared Bud's flight to taxi to the gate which was at the other end of the runway.

When Lockheed had trouble building the L-1011, Dixie leased five DC-10s from United. Bud listened on the tower frequency as a Dixie DC-10 made its approach. The tower told the DC-10 that the wind was now 090 at 10kts.

DC-10: "Roger."

Tower: "Wind 090 at 15 kts."

DC-10: "Roger."

Tower: "Wind now 090 at 20kts."

DC-10: "Roger."

The DC-10 landed with a 20 knot tailwind. Not only is the limit 10 knots, but at 7,500 feet, Ft. Lauderdale does not have a long runway.

Tower: "That is the most incredible thing I have ever seen."

Bud felt like picking up the mike and saying: _It was the most stupid thing I ever saw!_

But Bud didn't. After all, he was just the copilot. If an FAA inspector was listening or if something happened on landing, the captain would have been burned big time and rightly so!

Airline mergers work the best when the two airlines are similar. Dixie and Northeast are as different as night and day. For starters, Dixie has grown faster than Northeast and for an equal length of service, Dixie pilots are way ahead of the Northeast pilots. The largest airplane Northeast flies is the 727 while Dixie flies the Lockheed L-1011 Tristar widebody. Both Dixie and Northeast pilots are members of the Airline Pilots Association or ALPA. It is ALPA policy that all pilot seniority lists be merged by date of hire or length of service. During negotiations for merging the seniority lists, the Northeast pilots are licking their chops and thinking how rich they are going to be after they take all the Dixie pilot jobs. The Northeast pilots also viewed the Dixie pilots as a bunch of dumb red-necked Southerners and themselves as slick sophisticated Northeasterners. Well, the Northeast pilots get their butts kicked in the merger about the way the North did at the Battle of Manassas (Bull Run). In addition , the Northeast pilots merger negotiators never kept their pilots informed during the negotiations and the pilots thought the list would go date of hire until after the list was signed. The Northeast pilots are shocked and outraged when the seniority list is merged on a ratio basis.

Thereafter, to the day they die, some Northeast pilots favorite subject is: _How I got fucked by the merger._

Fact is, they were damn lucky to get a job with Dixie.

Bud becomes well acquainted with the former Northeast pilots. While Dixie was probably 90% college educated military trained pilots, Northeast was the opposite. Although they had some good pilots, most were a bunch of plumbers – guys who could not get hired by anyone else. One of the NE pilots acquired in the merger was originally a Dixie pilot who got fired and then got a job with NE. Needless to say, he had a real good attitude. Dixie would never hire a pilot who had been fired by another airline! To get hired by Northeast, a pilot had to have first passed the flight engineer written exam. Northeast hired their brothers-in-law, their mechanics, their turd hearse drivers (lavatory truck drivers), their relatives – anyone who attended the school owned by a few NE training pilots that taught the flight engineers written test. The school cost $5,000. Rumor had it that senior Northeast management also got their cut. Just after the merger, Dixie tried to check out two former NE pilots as DC-9 copilots. After two weeks in the simulator and three airplane rides, the instructor recommended that they go back through the training again. After another two weeks in the simulator and three more airplanes rides, the instructor recommended that they be put through training for the third time. Dixie gave them some more training and eventually got them qualified. In 1973, two DC-9s piloted by former NE pilots crashed. In July, a DC-9 crashed into a seawall in Boston killing 89. That November, another DC-9 crashed in Chattanooga. The aircraft was destroyed but no one was killed. Somebody puts a poster on the pilot's bulletin board – _NE-2, Dixie-0._

Former Northeast pilots were known as _NEDs – North East Dummies_. Some even called themselves that! Bud flies with a former NE flight engineer named Freddy Bauer. Freddy, a civilian trained pilot, was legendary even among the NE pilots. Freddy supposedly showed up for his first NE flight carrying his manuals in his arms. He didn't even have a flight bag! One of the duties of the flight engineer is to provide the pilots with the takeoff and landing data cards. The takeoff card has the aircraft's weight, number of passengers, takeoff speeds, and the setting for the horizontal stabilizer. The first one Freddy passes up is totally illegible and looks like a three-year old had been drawing on it. Bud and the captain are trying to make some sense of it. Bud asks Freddy what the speeds are suppose to be and Freddy tells him. This is a three-day trip and during the third day Bud asks Freddy to see the pay-sheet. The pay-sheet has the pilot's names, their employee numbers and the history of their flights – block out and block in times, report times, release times. The payroll department uses the pay-sheet to calculate how much pilots are to be paid. Freddy's pay-sheet looks like it has been rolled up and used as a baton in a four by 400 yard relay race. The pay-sheet is also marked up by a magic marker that has been run off the side of the takeoff data card. The very first report and release times has not been entered. Bud spends about 10 minutes getting the pay-sheet up to date and in order.

When he gets Freddy alone he says: "Freddy let me give you some advice. The captain we have is pretty easy going, but most captains take the pay-sheet very seriously and are not going to put up with this kind of slovenly work. Unless you want it to start raining on your parade, you better start doing a better job."

Freddy promises that he is going to do better. At least Freddy knows his limitations – he never bids captain. This is another reason the former NE pilots are lucky to be with Dixie. Dixie allows pilots to remain as flight engineer or copilot as long as they wish. On some other airlines, such as Eastern and TWA, once a pilot can hold captain, he has a year to checkout as captain or be terminated.

At the time of the merger, quite a few NE pilots, including Freddy, were furloughed. Dixie brought them all back very quickly. One NE pilot had flown with a non-scheduled airline when he was furloughed related an amusing anecdote to Bud. He was a copilot on DC-4s. The airline got a contract with the Nigerian government during the civil war with Biafra. They first flew the plane to Recife, Brazil and set a heading for Africa with no long range navigation equipment or a navigator. It was about a 2,000-mile trip - somehow they made it.

In the hot and humid jungle type weather in Nigeria, they rarely could get all of their engines started. A technique was developed where they would get two engines started. The third engine would be windmill started in a high-speed taxi. If the aircraft was lightly loaded, they would make a three-engine takeoff and start the fourth engine after they were airborne. A certain amount of rudder trim was set to help in maintaining directional control.

One morning, they had a mission and were making another three-engine takeoff. As soon as they got airborne, directional control was lost and the aircraft veered directly at the tower. The captain had mistakenly put in the opposite rudder trim that was needed. As the aircraft headed directly toward the tower, the Nigerian tower operators all jumped out of the tower. Fortunately, the aircraft missed the tower.

Later that day, they returned to their departure airport and the tower operator asked what had happened that morning.

The copilot told them that they were just fooling around.

The tower operator got extremely agitated and replied in his British type accent: "Don't ever do that again or I will have you arrested."

Northeast did bring another very amusing anecdote. There was this ex-Northeast captain whose was supposed to be on a trip and some kind of emergency occurred that his wife had to get in touch with him. Not knowing where he was, she called crew scheduling in Boston and asked the scheduler where he was. The scheduler was brand new and did not know what was going on. He looked up the pilot in question and told his wife that he had retired six months ago. The captain had been getting dressed and packing a bag like he was going on a trip but instead going to his girlfriend's place for a few days. No one knew what happened when he eventually got home.

Forty-Two

When Dixie bought Northeast it acquired Northeast's routes. These included a number of routes from the northeast to Florida. The largest of these routes was between New York and south Florida. The majority of the passengers on this route were New York Jews. These flights were called _Kosher Comets_ by the crews. New York Jews can be some of the most irritating, rude, inconsiderate, demanding, unreasonable and obnoxious people on the face of the earth. They are unbearable in a group when their wrath is directed at a helpless and defenseless flight attendant.

The first problem occurred with playing cards. As soon as the first passenger asked for a deck of cards, all of the rest of the passengers asked for cards as well. The cards were given out until they all were gone. The passengers who did not get cards were irate and complained. These constant requests for cards also disrupted cabin service. Finally, Dixie wound up giving all passengers two decks of cards as they boarded the aircraft. This shut them up on that issue. It seemed that the passengers did not care what the ticket cost as long as they got a deck of these very low quality cards that were probably worth less than a dollar each. There arose a standing macabre and tasteless joke around the airline.

Question: "Do you know why Hitler did what he did to the Jews?"

Answer: "He was a flight attendant on the New York to Miami run before he took over in Germany."

Question: "Do you know how he got them to go into the gas chambers?"

Answer: "He gave them a deck of cards!"

When Bud was first told that joke he said: "Hey, I lost an uncle in a German concentration camp!"

The person who told the joke became very apologetic: "Oh, I am sorry!"

Bud: "Yea, he got drunk, fell out of a guard tower, and broke his neck! Ha! Ha!"

There was an incident when a Jewish female passenger was really giving a flight attendant a hard time. Finally, the passenger said that everyone knows that stewardesses are all prostitutes anyway. The flight attendant replied that that was incorrect since some of the flight attendants including herself just had sex for fun!

On another flight, this flight attendant told Bud that this Jewish lady was giving her a hard time the entire trip. As the passengers were deplaning at the destination, another little old lady told her that she had to use the airsickness bag and did not know what to do with it. The flight attendant took it from her and said she would take care of it. Along comes this woman who had given her the hard time. She spotted the airsickness bag being held by the flight attendant and grabbed it saying that she did not get one of those.

The flight attendant said to her as she exited the aircraft: "Buh bye. Have a nice day!"

Dixie's marketing department decided what aircraft were to be flown on what routes and at what times. It was the flight operations department's responsibility to provide the crews to fly those flights. Dixie had an office that put together flights into groups called _rotations._ When Dixie started flying the 727 out of Atlanta, there weren't a large number of flights. Bud was not happy with the rotations and visited the office to see if they could be improved.

The office was run by a former crew scheduler named Al Peck. Bud noticed a new three letter airport identification on a chalk board – _SLC._

Bud: "What's _SLC_."

Peck: "Salt Lake City, but that information is confidential."

Confidential? Peck must have had a very high opinion of his own self importance or thought he was planning the _D-Day_ invasion. Airlines just don't show up unexpectedly at a new airport. A lot of preparation is required. The airline has to arrange gate space, ticket counter space, a station manager, hire ground crews to unload and load baggage, arrange catering, and a hire a fuel contractor. Most importantly, the traveling public must know the route is available! As a result, everyone knows what is happening. Flying from Atlanta to Salt Lake City was an ordeal prior to Dixie's nonstop service. Air travelers had to switch airlines at Dallas, Chicago, Denver, or St. Louis. Ideally, the best solution would be for all the world to know that starting on July 1, 1973, you can now fly non-stop from Atlanta to Salt Lake City – not keep it confidential! Al Peck was full of shit!

Bud is on a trip and is walking down the concourse at Chicago's O'Hare Airport. He runs into Don Dobbins, his old training command buddy and roommate from Corpus Christi. Bud had not seen Don since they got their wings. Don is now a pilot with American Air Lines. They chatted about their families and former friends.

Don: "So how are things going with you otherwise?"

Bud: "Couldn't be better. You will never guess who I hooked back up with."

Don: "No! Not Ashley Williams?"

Bud: "The very same. Ran into her while visiting her parents. She had just gone through her second divorce. She said that breaking up with me was the worst mistake she made it her life. She did not like being married and didn't care that I was!"

Don: "Holy shit!"

Bud: "And listen to this. She is submissive and will do anything I want!"

Don: "I said it before and I will say it again – you are the luckiest son-of-a-bitch I have ever known. You have a star that follows you around!"

Bud laughed: "Did I mention that she is just as beautiful if not more so than ever!"

Bud had to tell someone!

These were the good old days in regards to Dixie stewardesses and the stewardesses of the other airlines as well. Being a stewardess was never meant to be a lifetime career – much like a lifeguard. When Bud started with Dixie, stewardesses could not be married and had to maintain certain body weights. A popular path for attractive Southern belles who graduated from college without a serious romantic interest was to become a stewardess. One airline in California, Pacific Southwest Airlines or PSA, hired for looks only! Their stewardesses were even given a monetary allowance to keep their hair fixed up. One of Dixie's prime sources for stewardesses was MSCW or Mississippi State College for Women in Columbus, Mississippi. These young and attractive Scarlett O'Haras would work for a few years, sow their wild oats and see the world. They would then get married and quit flying. The pill was on the scene and herpes and AIDS had not yet arrived. Anytime you put young men and women together, hormones take care of the rest. One pilot called it "sport fucking" or "recreational fucking." Life was good. This philandering was not without its risks. One of the guys Bud knew got the clap from a stewardess, a good looking gal from MSCW. Fortunately, his wife was about to give birth and he got cured without his wife finding out about it.

Then in the 1970s, the liberals fucked it up. You can't fire a woman because she is married - that is discrimination. You can't require an employee not to get pregnant – that is discrimination. You can't require an employee to maintain a certain weight – that is discrimination. You can't exclude blacks from being a stewardess – that is racial discrimination. You can't exclude males from your work force – that is gender discrimination. The arrival of herpes and later AIDS were the _coup de grace_. So then the word police got busy and changed the job's name to _Flight Attendant_. As a final result, everyone lived happily ever after.

So ladies and gentlemen, when you get on an airliner these days, now you know why your flight attendant looks like your Grandma Blabby, Aunt Jemima, or Richard Simmons rather than a Playboy Bunny.

Forty-Three

Bud got home from a trip and after getting Bud Jr. into bed, Fanny said that they needed to talk. This is usually bad news for a man and that night was no exception.

Fanny said: "My life is unfulfilled. I want to go back to graduate school and get a master's degree – maybe a doctorate. I want a divorce!"

Bud is stunned! He can't believe it. Fanny had recently inherited a fairly nice amount of money from an aunt. Fanny went on to say that she had enough money and her parents have also offered to help her financially. She said Bud could keep the house and the only thing she wanted was child support for Bud Jr. Bud tried to talk her out of it but to no avail. She and Bud Jr. moved up to Knoxville.

When it rains, it pours. Although Bud couldn't imagine things getting any worse, they were about to. Ashley, who was on a European vacation with a couple of girlfriends, had not talked with Bud for several weeks during the Fanny crisis. When Ashley said she would be home from Europe, Bud called her at her work in Montgomery and told her that Fanny had left and was divorcing him.

Ashley: "Shit! I just got married three weeks ago - if I had only known."

_The lying bitch hadn't been in Europe with girlfriends. She had gotten married_!

Bud flew into an apoplectic rage: "Married! Married! Jesus Christ Ashley how could you? I thought you loved me."

Ashley: "I do Bud - more than anything or anybody else in the world."

Bud: "Then how in God's name can you marry someone else when you love me?"

Ashley: "People marry people they don't love all the time for a variety of reasons. Bud, I am thirty years old. My maternal hormones have reached critical mass and the sand in my biological hour glass is running out. I want to have a child before I get too old to have one."

Bud: "But Ashley, you and I are married in mind and spirit. We could have had a child, if that is what you want."

Ashley: "Bud, there is a big difference being married in mind and spirit and being married legally. I don't want my child, if I am fortunate enough to have one, to grow up a bastard. Plus, if I showed up in Brewton as an unwed mother, my parents would probably disown and disinherit me. The two divorces were bad enough. I respect and love them too much to put them through that kind of shame. Williams' women do not have children out of wedlock. It is only a marriage of convenience. I needed a husband."

Bud: "What you need is another man whose heart you can rip out and stomp on! This is the second time you have ripped out and stomped mine. I feel sorry for any man who is unfortunate enough to fall in love with you. All he is going to get out of it is misery! I wish I had never met you!"

Bud had her in tears now.

Bud is now foaming at the mouth and screaming into the phone: "Did you put a personal ad in the newspaper? _Single white female, 30 years old, attractive, good figure, successful businesswoman. Seeks sperm donor_. "

Ashley sobbed: "I met him at an Auburn Alum affair. His name is Jim Miller. He is an engineer. He is a kind, considerate, gentle man, and a very nice person. I'd like to think that you would like him. He is ten years older than I am and had never been married."

Bud: "Did you pick him because of his money?"

Ashley: "Partly."

Bud: "Why doesn't that surprise me?"

Ashley: "I only married him so I could have a legitimate child. You don't think I would marry some poor jackass, would you? Would you have preferred that I married some poor young hunk?"

Bud raves on: "I don't know what I have to do to get it through your fucking thick head, but I don't want you to be married to anyone except me and I never will! But don't stop, tell me more. He sounds so good that I am beginning to want him myself. Just how long has this romance been going on behind my back?"

Ashley: "About six months. The only thing I don't like about him is that he does everything I tell him to do. He is a little on the wimpy side. Whether women care to admit it or not, they all want a strong dominant man, like you."

Bud: "You are damn lucky you are not here right now. I'd show you just how strong and domineering of a SOB I can be and beat your ass with a leather strap! You have a piss poor record of picking husbands. You seem to make it a habit of marrying the wrong men for the wrong reasons. Did you go to Europe on your honeymoon?"

Ashley: "Yes."

Bud: "Well at least that part wasn't a lie. You really should have told me about the wedding. I would have sent a gift. It probably would have been a bomb, but it is the thought that counts. I am surprised that your father did not call me and tell me about it."

Ashley: "They didn't know about it. I did not tell them until it was done. For some reason or the other, my father said that I better be a long ways away when I tell you! All we had was a small civil ceremony."

Bud: "But a wonderful honeymoon! You'll have to tell me all about it."

Ashley: "After my first marriage, it just so happened that the man I want to marry was never available at the right time. Jim is the least threatening man to you I could find – the least likely one to make you jealous. My marriage does not change the way I feel about you one iota. As a matter of fact, if I manage to have a baby, I want it to be yours. I know that is a horrid thing for me to say, but I can't help the way I feel. I want your baby!"

Bud: "But why did you wait so long to tell me?"

Ashley: "Because I am a coward. I knew what your reaction would be and I put off this unpleasant conversation we are presently having until it no longer could be avoided."

Bud: "You have a fucking funny way in regards to the way you treat the love of your life and the only man you have ever really loved. You have now married three different men! In addition, you know very well how I am. I can't stand even the thought of another man's hands on you – milk toast Jim Miller's or anyone else's. I don't want to share you with anyone!"

Ashley: "How do you think I felt over the years knowing that Fanny got to sleep in your arms every night? I still think about that fact every night before I fall asleep and that included my wedding night."

Bud: "Well, you won't have to think about that fact any longer. The only thing I am going to have my arms around at night is a pillow. And why does thinking about your wedding night not make me feel better? Besides, didn't you say that you didn't care if I had – was it 10 wives?"

Ashley: "I lied."

Bud: "But....but..."

Ashley: "Bud, Jim is not a sex maniac like you and I are. If I told you how infrequently we have sex, you would laugh."

Bud: "Tell me more about your sex life. I am dying to hear about it! Also, I haven't laughed since Fanny dropped her bomb on me and took my son away from me. Now you have dropped another bomb on me. I don't anticipate laughing anytime in the foreseeable future. I would like to see your reaction if our roles were reversed. What if I went out and married someone else out of the blue and expected you to maintain our relationship like nothing happened. I am pretty sure that you would not be very happy about it!"

Ashley: "No, I would be happy about it, but it is an entirely different situation. You can never be a mother!"

Bud: "So women have all the pussy and make all the rules. Is that about it?"

Ashley: "If you care to put it that way that is about it!"

Bud: "Regardless of your half-assed married sex life and how much you claim to still love me, I don't like you being married to anyone except me and I never will."

Ashley: "I would be greatly disappointed if you did like it. Bud, nothing has changed. Only our roles have been reversed. It used to be that you were married and I was single. Now I am married and you are single. That is all there is to it. Look, I am coming to Atlanta in two weeks. I will show you that my love for you has not changed. I only wish I could be with you right now so you could beat me as much as you want."

Bud: "When you come, will you spend the night with me at my house?"

Ashley: "Don't try and stop me!"

Ashley arrived at Bud's house two Fridays later at 5 p.m. Ashley did not find Bud in a very pleasant mood. He was still mad enough to commit a double homicide – Ashley and Jim Miller. Bud just stood there and looked at her with contempt when she arrived.

Bud: "You know, I could kill you for what you did! What if your latest fucking husband tries to call his fucking wife at her fucking hotel?"

Ashley: "I've already taken care of that. First of all, he is working out of town. I called him earlier and told him that I felt like I was coming down with something. I was going to have dinner, take a sleeping pill, and go to bed. I told him not to call and wake me up. He won't."

Ashley then proceeded to make love to Bud like it was her last night on earth.

She first had Bud sit in a chair in the bedroom. She then did a total strip tease for Bud to music – she was very good at it too! She then undressed Bud, put her hair up so it would not get in the way and went to work.

After first undressing him, Ashley gave Bud a massage on the bed. She next put lotion on Bud's back and rubbed her breasts and ass all over his back, his butt, and his legs. She dried Bud off and told him to turn over. She repeated the process up and down his front. When Bud reached for her breasts, Ashley said: "No touching my tits. No touching anywhere."

Ashley rubbed her nipples all over Bud's face. When he tried to take one in his mouth, Ashley said: "No! You can't suck or kiss my tits either."

She knew what turned Bud on. She straddled Bud's head and squatted down in front of his face.

She fingered herself so Bud could see and put the finger under Bud's nose: "Here's your favorite smell! You can't have this right now either. I will let you have a little taste though." She put her finger in Bud's mouth.

Ashley kissed and licked Bud all over. Bud had a blue-steel erection that you couldn't scratch with a diamond. She finished by sucking Bud off while fingering him. It didn't take very long.

When Bud got his gun off, it was so intense he was afraid he had blown the top of her head off. Ashley got caught up in the passion and had an orgasm too.

Ashley: "There! Did you like that? I just love doing that to you. I don't do any of those things to him. They are reserved only for you. Does that make you feel any better?"

Bud: "A little."

Ashley: "Do you still want to beat me?"

Bud: "A little."

Ashley: "You can if you want to."

Bud: "OK. Turn over and get your sorry ass up on these pillows."

She rolled over on her stomach and Bud put two pillows under her hips. Bud went and got a leather belt. He had no intention of beating her but wanted to see just how submissive she could be and if she was serious. He came back to the bed and slapped his hand with the belt. Ashley just laid there waiting for it.

Bud stood there entranced by her magnificent back and ass propped up on the pillows – the world's most beautiful curve.

Ashley: "Well, beat me! I want you to. It is my penance."

Bud gave her a halfhearted hit.

Ashley: "Is that the best you can do?"

Bud hit her a little harder.

Ashley: "Come on and beat me! You're as big of a wimp as Jim."

Bud: "That did it! Now you are really going to get it good. Don't forget, you asked for it!"

Bud started laying the leather angrily and vigorously onto her ass. By the fourth stroke she was crying and wailing. He gave her two more for good measure.

Bud: "Have you had enough?'

Ashley sobbed: "Yes!"

Bud: "Beg me to stop!"

Ashley: "Please stop beating me!"

Bud was surprised that the violence turned him on. He had never beaten a woman or anyone else for that matter before. He threw the belt to the side. He told her to spread her legs and then ate her from the rear - all of her rear. He hadn't done that before either! Ashley gasped! He kept at it until she came. He then lay down beside her and kissed her tears away.

Ashley: "My God! That was the most intense orgasm I have ever had. You are going to have to do that again sometime."

Bud: "The eating or the beating?"

Ashley: "Both."

Bud: "I will eat you like that as much as your heart desires. Anytime you want another beating, just remind me about your sex life with Mr. Miller. That sufficiently enrages me enough to want to beat you. I hate to admit it, but I enjoyed beating you – it was an erotic experience and turned me on. You deserved a good ass whipping for what you have done to me anyway! By the way, don't let your husband see your sweet little bottom for a while. Wait!......... On second thought, let him see it. When he asks what happened, tell him your lover beat you for being unfaithful to him and getting married. That ought to fix things right up."

Ashley: "Oh Bud. Remember, he is out of town for another two weeks. That is another reason I chose him. He works out of town about three weeks a month."

Bud: "Great, I can beat you some more then."

Bud didn't beat her anymore that day. Ashley asked Bud to beat her about twice a year usually when Jim would be out of town for another two weeks. Bud never thought that he and Ashley would ever get into sadomasochism. As long as they both liked it, what the hell! The only thing Bud did not like about it was marking up her beautiful ass – his favorite thing. The eating from the rear occurred more frequently – usually before anal sex.

Bud mellowed out a lot.

After a few minutes, Ashley said: "Bud, I want you to go Greek next."

Bud sarcastically replies: "Well, only if you insist."

Ashley: "But I do!"

He would rather do that than beat her ass anyway.

She sucked Bud until he got hard.

She then lubed herself and Bud up with the coconut scented suntan lotion Bud liked. Facing away from Bud, she got on her knees and elbows, sticking her magnificent little ass straight up in the air.

Bud is transfixed by the view. She had Bud salivating like a blind dog in a meat market – for the second time in less than an hour!

Ashley looked over her shoulder and said: "What's taking you so long Big Boy? Come and get it."

When Bud finished, Ashley said: "I don't do that with him or talk like that to him either. That too, is reserved only for you. I am such a bad and nasty little girl, but I am a bad and nasty little girl only for you. Does that make you feel better?"

Bud who is now collapsed on the bed: "Yes."

Ashley: "Can you give Momma a little smile?" She lay on Bud's chest and took her index fingers and pushed up the corners of Bud's mouth.

Bud, who was doing his best not to smile, finally gave in and laughed.

Ashley kissed him: "That's better! Momma wants her baby to be happy. Is there anything else you can think of that you would like me to do to reassure you?"

Bud: "Not right at this moment. I need a break. How about a glass of wine? Since you have already had the _cum of sum yung guy_ appetizer, let's continue and order in Chinese for dinner? I'll order your favorites: wonton soup, fried dumplings and salt and pepper calamari."

Ashley laughed: "I just love being a whore for you. I also love teasing you and making you want me so bad you can taste it."

Bud: "But I did taste it."

Ashley had tamed the savage beast in record time. She had it eating out of her hand and following her around like a puppy dog. Ashley knew Bud better than he knew himself. She could read him like a book. She knew what buttons of Bud's to push, just when to push them and how hard. Whatever Ashley wants – Ashley gets!

Bud told Ashley the entire story of Fanny's leaving him.

Ashley: "Well, at least I am not the only crazy bitch in your life. I would have traded places with her anytime!"

Bud: "If you hadn't been such a sneaky unfaithful bitch and confided in me the last six months, you could have swapped places with her. I was going to ask you to marry me the next time we got together. Why a woman would ever marry a man when she loves another is beyond me!"

Bud had her in tears again.

Ashley sobbed: "I'm so sorry Bud. Under the circumstances at the time, I thought I was doing the right thing. I only wanted to do what would be best for our child. Also, it is a lot easier to get a husband before you are pregnant. The one thing I will not do is be an unwed mother."

Bud: "It is probably just as well I didn't know you were getting married. I probably would have wound up in jail. I don't even want to think what I may have done, including everything in my power to stop you. If I had known, there would not have been any wedding – you can bet your sore ass on that! When the preacher got to the part if anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot be legally joined in marriage, let them speak now or forever hold their peace, I would have been there with a bullhorn and a pistol!"

Ashley couldn't help laughing through her tears!

Bud: "How do you feel about what you are doing to Jim – how you are using and betraying him?"

Ashley: "I hate myself and don't even want to think about it. All I know is that I love you. Nothing else matters to me except my love for you and the welfare of our future child _."_

Ashley turned sullen: "Please let's not talk about it anymore. What's done is done."

Bud: "Things can be undone! You have already undone it twice. Have you considered getting a divorce or having the marriage annulled?"

Ashley: "I have already thought of that. We'll see. I'll probably wind up having more husbands than Elizabeth Taylor!"

Bud: "What the hell, it will all come out in the wash."

Ashley: "Bud, I want you to get me pregnant. If my schedule doesn't bring me to Atlanta at the height of my fertility, I want you to come to Montgomery. Can you do that for me?

Bud: "That is definitely an offer I can't refuse. Bud Schuler's stud service is ready when you are!"

Ashley spent the remainder of the visit, between having sex, stroking Bud's ego and feelings.

Ashley: "Bud, you and I are characters right out of a tragic Russian play. Two soul mates, eternally in love who cannot be together because of circumstances in the cruel, cruel world. Fate seems to counter us at every turn."

Two days later as she was about to leave she asked Bud: "Well, did you notice any difference?"

Bud: "No."

Ashley: "Have I convinced you I still love you as much as ever."

Bud teased her: "I am not sure. You might have to do everything over again."

Ashley playfully hit Bud in the chest and laughed: "You stinker! I'll do it as many times as it takes!"

Bud: "Ash you convinced me, but I still want to totally possess you."

Ashley: "Bud, we can't always have everything we want or think we want. Maybe we shouldn't. I have never heard of a man and a woman since Adam and Eve who have maintained the level of love, desire, and sexual intensity, like you and I enjoy, on a day after day after day basis – and that applies especially to people who are married. It just does not happen. That _and they lived happily ever after_ is a myth. Don't forget: _familiarity breeds contempt_ while _absence makes the heart grow fonder!_ You should know that more than anyone with Fanny's leaving you and your affair with me. Love is much better when you are not married anyway. My dilemma is that I want you, but am afraid that we would lose what we have if we were married. For that reason, I don't think I want to be married to you. I like things the way they are. You and I have something special - something that precious few other people in the world will ever have as long as we have. We still have the magic – the euphoric high, wonder and excitement of romantic love. I wouldn't want to lose that for anything. I will be yours forever."

Bud: "You are probably right, but I still wouldn't mind trying to get tired of you."

Ashley: "And another thing. Stop feeling sorry for yourself! How many men do you know who have a mistress that looks like me, loves them like I love you, is as hot in bed as I am, and wants to have their baby?"

Bud: "Good point. Ashley, I haven't had another woman besides Fanny since you and I got back together. That is going to change now. I am not going to sit here pining away for you, while you are sucking Mr. Miller's dick in Montgomery!"

Ashley: "I told you that I don't do that to him – only to you!"

Bud: "I don't believe you!"

Ashley: "Well, it is the truth. What do I have to do to convince you? I guess I am going to have to tell you everything. He has never asked me to do that and I haven't volunteered. Believe it or not, we did not even have sex until we were married. He didn't even try. He has never gone down on me. He is almost asexual. That is another reason why I chose him! That is just the way he is! Celibacy wouldn't bother him a bit. He would have made a good Catholic priest. There is a good reason he never got married until he was 40 – no sex drive! I think he married me to acquire a trophy – not for sexual desire. I think he has sex only because it is expected. He delights in showing me off to other people as his wife. He loves me like one loves a possession – a car, a house, a boat. I have sex with you more than with him. As a matter of fact, I have had more sex this weekend with you than I have had with him since we have been married!"

Bud: "Well, I don't like the idea of him even touching you, let alone anything else."

Ashley: "Don't even bother to think about it! It means nothing to me. When we do have sex, it is only in the missionary position. I use a diaphragm because I don't want him to get me pregnant. He has never gotten me off. He acts like I am Typhoid Mary when I am having my period – nada! He won't even sleep with me then.

Bud: "Good!"

Ashley: "On the other hand, my period does not slow you down one bit. I think you look forward to it. It just gives you an excuse to go on an oral and anal rampage and orgy!"

Bud laughed: "I resemble that remark, but since when do I need an excuse to go on an oral and anal rampage and orgy?"

Ashley laughed: "Well, excuuuse me! I stand corrected. Don't get me wrong! I am not complaining. I like it."

Bud: "It is almost unbelievable. Here he is married to the hottest piece of ass in Alabama and doesn't even know it. Your sex life with him is almost comical!"

Ashley: "It's worse than that – it's pitiful. But I am not complaining about that either, as long as I have you, my little sex god. I told you that you have nothing to be jealous about. I am only a hot piece of ass for you."

Ashley put her arm around Bud's head and tongued him in the ear.

Bud: "Don't even think about it. I don't have so much as one white blood corpuscle left in my body."

Ashley: "Oh I bet I can get you off again."

Bud: "I bet you could too but please be merciful!"

Ashley laughed: "You and other women are OK. I just don't want to know about it."

In departing Ashley said: "You're so sweet. Love you. See you in a couple of weeks, stud – unless you get horny in the meantime! You can come to Montgomery whenever you want. I can get away just about any time."

Bud: "Since he is out of town for two more weeks, we will get together next weekend. I'll come to Montgomery."

Ashley: "Great! I should be at the height of my fertility. Call me."

She kissed him goodbye and left.

Bud wonders why women will do things for lovers, but not for husbands – a _Madame Bovary_ complex? Do they try harder to please the lovers?

Forty-Four

This is the lowest time of Bud's life. Bud is miserable for a couple of months before he starts to recover. Bud has a severe case of self pity but rationalizes that it could be worse - he still has Ashley - somewhat. One of Bud's Dixie buddy's wife recently ran off with the preacher. Another friend's wife ran off with his best friend. At least Fanny did not have another male interest as far as Bud knew. Bud's friends are quite supportive and Bud has dinner invitations just about every weekend from his and Fanny's old acquaintances. Two of Bud's friends, are Fred and Lilly Pittman. Lilly is president of the Atlanta Secretarial Association. She tells Bud that when he is ready to start dating, let her know. After the second month, Bud tells Lilly he is ready to date. Lilly asked Bud what he likes in a woman. When Bud asked what she meant, Lilly said well do you like tall redheads, short blonds, whatever. Bud tells her he will have to think about this. Bud thought that he should probably just give her a picture of Ashley. Bud eventually tells Lilly he likes medium height cute women with a good figure, especially in the rear, and a good sense of humor. Lilly asked Bud to give her a week or so. Lilly and Fred invite Bud to dinner two weeks later. Lilly hands Bud a list with six names and telephone numbers.

Lilly says: "Here are six names. They are all expecting your call. If you don't like any of these, let me know and I will get you some more names."

Bud starts going through Lilly's list and also starts dating stewardesses.

W.C. Fields is alleged to have said: "No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree."

Bud had always suspected that this was the case. Once he got back into the dating scene he was convinced this was true beyond the shadow of a doubt. Bud had a date with a stewardess he took a fancy to. After dinner and a little nightclubbing she suggested that they go back to Bud's house and spend the night. She takes off her clothes and jumps into bed with only a bra and panties on. Bud thinks that he never knew it could be this easy. Bud gets in bed and reaches over for her.

She bristled with: "Don't touch me!"

Bud figures that maybe she doesn't go all the way on the first date, so he turns over and goes to sleep. On their next date, she again insists on spending the night at Bud's again. The same thing happens. Bud does not know what to think now. Maybe she doesn't go all the way on the second date either. After the same thing happens on the third date, Bud starts asking around about her. Bud finds out that this gal does not have sex with anyone she dates, but apparently does not like sleeping alone. She only has sex with one guy but does not date him. When she wants sex, she calls this guy who comes over, screws her and leaves. Bud dumps her!

Bud dated a secretary and eventually got her into the sack.

When they wound up in the _69_ position, the gal says: "I've never done this before!"

Bud got so tickled that he laughed right into her pussy.

Bud got another one into the sack. As he started to take off her panties, she started to cry.

Bud is startled: "Is something wrong?"

The girl replied: "No."

Bud pressed on through the tears.

One had to watch what he was doing when dating stewardesses. If the other stewardesses knew the stewardess you were dating, you better not be seen with a different stewardess because they would rat you out. Bud had more freedom when he was married. For that reason, he usually stuck with the secretaries. For another, the secretaries were usually always available and not out flying trips. Secretaries also thought pilots were something special with a good paying and glamorous job. Being a pilot meant absolutely nothing to a stewardess.

Bud dates another girl who only engages in oral sex – another true fellatrix. No intercourse or vagina penetration allowed. What is that all about? Is she what they call a _technical virgin_? This was Bud's second encounter with a true fellatrix. The funny thing was that although this gal and the Canadian gal loved to give oral sex, they did not particularly like getting it! This gal told Bud she would rather he sucked on her tits than her vagina.

Then there was Ashley and her ludicrous way of looking at things – especially her so called marriage and wanting someone other than her husband to father her child.

Even Fanny was suspect. Before the divorce, she went through a bout of depression. Crying and staying in bed most of the day. She only got up to make meals for Bud and Bud Jr. Bud asked her what was wrong and she said nothing. Bud asked her if it was something that he had done. She said no. After a few days of this, she was back to normal. Sometime later, Bud is going ape-shit about something or the other. Fanny said that what Bud needed was to see a psychiatrist.

Bud said: "Me? What about the deal you had a couple of weeks ago."

Fanny responded: "I am a woman and am supposed to have spells like that."

How could Bud argue with that?

Forty-Five

Bud has been living this _Bachelor's Paradise_ lifestyle for over a year now. When the female situation was not so good in Atlanta, he would just take a trip to Montgomery to see Ashley or go to Montgomery when Ashley wanted him. It is a six hour roundtrip drive, but Bud would have crawled on his hands and knees to Ashley if he had to. Bud went to Montgomery when Jim was out of town which usually was three weeks out of the month. Ashley would sneak Bud into her house. Bud would park his car at a nearby shopping center and lay down in the back of Ashley's car until they pulled into her garage. The Atlanta office of Ashley's company was located fairly close to Bud's house. Ashley arranged to have her meetings on Fridays and when Jim was out of town. She then extended her visit to Saturday or Sunday – with the pretence of going shopping in Atlanta but in reality to spend as much time with Bud as possible.

On one particular Friday, Ashley arrived early at Bud's. After Ashley and Bud got the preliminary love making out of the way, Bud suggested that they go to his country club for dinner. It would be putting it mildly to say Bud caused a sensation when he waltzed into the club's bar with Ashley in her _little black dress_ on his arm. The eyes almost popped out of everyone's head. The bar became ablaze with speculation and gossip. Friday night at the bar was the busiest night of the week with complimentary hors d'oeuvres and the place was packed with Bud's and Fanny's friends and acquaintances - including several women who had played tennis with Fanny. Bud was sure that Fanny would get a full report. Bud introduced Ashley to as many of his friends as possible. Those Bud did not get to came over to Bud's table for an introduction. Ashley was at her beautiful and charming best and knocked the socks off all of the men. All the other women probably hated her since Ashley was the best looking woman there and because of all the attention their husbands were giving her!

Bud laughed when he overheard one woman say to her husband who was looking at Ashley: "Wipe your mouth. You are drooling!"

Bud introduced Ashley as Lee Montgomery, a stewardess with Dixie. The less everyone knew the better. If you ever want to find out just how small of a world it really is, try doing something you're not supposed to be doing. Bud could just see introducing Ashley as Ashley Miller from Montgomery and having someone say that a friend of his, Jim Miller from Montgomery, recently married a girl named Ashley! One of Dixie's pilots from Atlanta was having dinner with a gal in San Francisco when his wife's sister and brother-in-law, who lived in Memphis and were on vacation, came in the restaurant and sat down!

One of Bud's friends said: "Bud, where did you find this lovely creature and where have you been hiding her?"

Bud: "There is one like her behind every bush in Alabama if you know where to look. That is where I found this one - and I have been hiding her from the likes of you and the other lechers around here."

Ashley, in a devilish and mischievous mood, took advantage of the autonomy Bud had given her as the pseudonymous Lee Montgomery.

Several of the men were standing around Ashley and one asked her where she usually flew to.

Ashley replied: "I usually fly the same place Bud flies. I have to have him every day! I hardly ever give the poor man any rest!"

The three guys just stood there speechless, wide-eyed and with their mouths hanging open.

Bud, who was standing nearby, overheard what she had said and laughed.

As a result of the evening, Bud's stock went up considerably around the club, much like it had at Whiting Field when everyone got to see Bud's squeeze and heard what Ashley said.

Ashley's black dress accented the great shape of her rear to Bud's and every other man's pleasure. Bud had a hard time keeping his eyes and hands off of Ashley's ass – he wanted it real bad! It looked so good, Bud wanted to grab it and take a bite out of it.

On the way back home from the club, Bud told Ashley: "Your ass looks terrific in that dress! I want it."

Ashley: "It's yours! Would you like a little primer first?"

Ashley then sucked Bud while he was driving.

One of Bud's fantasies is going Greek with a woman when she is dressed to the "Nines" like Ashley was that evening. Back at the house, Bud had her get on her knees and suck him some more while he watched in front of a full length mirror. Bud then had her get on her hands and knees on the edge of the bed fully clothed. Bud lifted up the back of Ashley's dress and slip to her waist – another ritual that turned him on. He then took off her black panties leaving the garter belt and stockings on. Bud then ate Ashley's from the rear. Bud then lubed Ashley up with the old coconut suntan lotion and sodomized her. Bud had gotten like Pavlov's dogs - just the smell of that lotion would give him an erection.

Sometimes Ashley and Bud would watch porno films at Bud's house. The films really put them in the mood. Ashley would get so wet that any foreplay by Bud was superfluous. She would get slicker than goose grease – and that turned Bud on! He liked feeling her with his finger when she got like that.

Bud joked: "It is really amazing how big they can make those guys penises look with trick photography these days,"

Ashley laughed: "Yours is plenty big enough for me. It is the fury and skill of the attack rather than the size of the weapon that matters."

Bud: "Well brace yourself, my dear. Here comes another furious and skilful attack!"

One evening after having sex at Bud's house, Ashley was lying naked in Bud's arms.

Ashley: "Bud do you date much?'

Bud: "I thought you didn't want to know about that?"

Ashley: "I changed my mind."

Bud decided to tease her a little and exaggerate.

Bud: "Just about every night."

Bud then told her about Lilly Pittman's secretarial harem and how Lilly had asked Bud what he liked in a woman.

Ashley: "What did you tell her?"

Bud: "I showed her a picture of you!"

Ashley laughed and kissed Bud.

Bud continued: "Then there is the seemingly inexhaustible supply of Dixie stewardesses. Nothing steady or serious yet, but It is only a matter of time before _Miss Right_ comes along."

Ashley had just arrived at the same conclusion. Sooner or later if the present arrangement continued, she was going to have a rival.

Fact is, Bud measured all women against Ashley and not one of them had even come close – yet! But he was not going to tell Ashley that! Actually, Bud was tiring of the _dating game_ , but he wasn't about to tell Ashley that either.

Bud was through teasing and became cynical. He gave Ashley the same argument she gave him when she married Jim: "That wouldn't be a problem would it? Me getting married again? It wouldn't change the way I feel about you and we would go on just like we are now."

Ashley: "Yes, it would be a problem – a big problem. I wouldn't like you marrying someone else!"

Bud: "Well dammit, I don't like you being married to anyone else either!"

Ashley: "Fair enough. I'll do something about it. Only give me some time. Just don't go and fall in love with someone else in the meantime."

Bud: "But what if a mute nymphomaniac who likes oral and anal sex and owns a liquor store comes along?"

Ashley laughed: "You are such a bad boy!" And she kissed him.

Bud: "When we get married, where do you want to live, Atlanta or Montgomery? If we lived in Montgomery I could commute to Atlanta - it is less than a three-hour drive. It would limit my job options somewhat and I would not be able to maximize my income. If you keep working, we will have plenty of money. I'll be making captain in a few years anyway and we'll have plenty of money then. It is definitely doable. Montgomery is provincial compared to Atlanta, but I could live with it. Could you transfer to Atlanta or get another job there?

Ashley: "I could, but consider the advantages of living in Montgomery. Gracie lives there too and we would have a trustworthy babysitter close by when the time comes. Mom and Dad only live two hours away. We could also use them for babysitting and I like being closer to them. We could easily go to Brewton for a weekend and use Dad's boat anytime we wanted."

Bud: "I like the idea of being closer to Brewton too. I could really get into fishing. Montgomery it will be then! Where do you want to live- on a golf course, a place with acreage?"

Ashley: "I knew you would see it my way."

Ashley grabbed Bud's flaccid penis and gently pulled on it: "You would go anywhere I wanted if I led you around like this, wouldn't you?"

Bud: "Isn't that what you've been doing all along anyway?"

Ashley laughed.

Bud: "While we are on that subject, don't you think it would be a good idea if you stopped trying to get pregnant while you are making a change in your marital status. I don't want to have a shotgun wedding or go on a honeymoon with a pregnant bride."

Ashley: "Your right. I'll get back on the pill."

Bud: "Where do you want to go on our honeymoon: a cruise, Bermuda, Kauai, Europe, Bora Bora, Tahiti? I'll take you anywhere in the world you want to go."

Ashley: "How exciting! Let me think about it."

These meetings at Bud's house were some of the best times Ashley and Bud spent together. They were totally relaxed and did anything they wanted. Ashley could scream as loud as she wished. It was like being on a honeymoon on a desert island.

Bud manages to get up and see Bud Jr. about once a month. Fanny and Bud have a very cordial relationship and not the slightest problem develops. Bud always rents a motel and does the usual extravagant things divorced fathers do with their children. Bud even called Daphne's parents and was told that she was happily remarried. After a weekend in Knoxville about a year after the divorce, Bud dropped Bud Jr. off at Fanny's apartment at the agreed time. Fanny invites Bud to stay for dinner – a first. After dinner, Fanny gets Bud Jr. interested in some TV program and tells Bud she wants to have a talk with him before he leaves.

As bad as Bud had been shocked when Fanny first asked for the divorce, he was shocked even more with what Fanny had to say next: "Bud, I made a big mistake and never appreciated how well you had provided for me and Bud Jr. I am not happy up here. I still love you and am so sorry for what I put you through. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me and take me back?"

Bud is dumbfounded and speechless! The silence is deafening. Bud finally recovers and tells Fanny that he will have to think about it. Fanny asked Bud if he would like to spend the night. Bud said that ordinarily he would but he had to go to work tomorrow. Fanny gives him a big kiss goodbye and tells him to take as much time as he needs.

Driving back to Atlanta, Bud's mind is spinning like a top – except in the wrong direction! It is obvious that Fanny did not appreciate how good she had it married to Bud. Here she is back in Knoxville a generation after she left. The Hippy/drug culture is at its height with most males sporting Jesus shoulder length hairdos. Fanny with a five- year- old child does not fit in very well. The four-hour drive passes in a flash. When he gets home, Bud is so wound up he cannot sleep. Well, Bud keeps his promise to Fanny to think about it. As a matter of fact that is all he does for the next two weeks – think about it. On one hand, Bud is not hurting for female companionship and is surviving quite well without Fanny although he still cares for her. Ashley had agreed to divorce Jim and marry Bud. Bud had asked Bud Jr. if Mommy had any men friends. Bud Jr. said once and a while she would go out. Bud wonders how many of those guys Fanny has screwed since the divorce - forget that, negative thinking! Bud was never faithful when they were married and isn't celibate now by any means. On the other hand there is Bud Jr. Bud has his share of shortcomings, but being a bad father is not one of them. In the final analysis, Bud comes to the conclusion that Bud Jr. would grow up much better in a home where both parents love him dearly. Fanny is damn lucky for the second time that Ashley was still married. He decides he will take Fanny back – with Ashley's consent.

Bud called Ashley and told her that Fanny asked him to take her back, but he was not going to commit until he talked to her. Bud Jr.'s welfare was the determining factor. Bud asked Ashley how she felt about it. Her reaction was entirely the opposite from what Bud expected.

Ashley: "Good! You can remarry Fanny. One of the things I love about you is that you are a good father. I don't like you running around with all those wild women or being lonely. Now I'll know where you are at night. I can live with you being married to Fanny. I am used to that and not jealous – well, not very jealous. Things will be much better for Bud Jr. too and I won't have to break Jim's heart. I still think that love is better when you are not married anyway. I am coming to Atlanta next week to see you."

Bud thinks: _Wow! How could he be so lucky_?

Bud calls Fanny and tells her he will take her back with a few conditions. One of the conditions is that Fanny will no longer bitch about his golf. He will play golf as much as he damn well pleases. Fanny agrees and they are remarried a couple of months later. Bud Jr. is probably the happiest of them all because he is back with his daddy. In six months, Fanny gets pregnant. In spite of the fact she still gets sick every morning, Fanny is happy and content with her lot - if any woman can ever be completely satisfied. What did the old wag say many years ago: "Give a woman the world and she would want a fence around it?" What Fanny needed was a reality check and she got it – big time! Nevertheless, she is much easier to live with than before the divorce. Bud Jr. gets a new baby brother on July 3, 1974.

Forty- Six

Bud continued to see Ashley at every opportunity. He called her one day and found her in an ecstatic mood. She is finally pregnant. Ashley said that she is certain that it is Bud's since Jim was working in California at the time.

Bud: "If you can figure out who the father is, won't Jim too."

Ashley: "Heavens no! Don't forget he is an engineer. He doesn't have a clue or any interest in female anatomy. Listen to this one that he pulled. Someone told him that Kotex was good to wax your car with. He came home with tampons. When I asked why he bought tampons, he told me the story. The place he shopped did not have Kotex so he bought tampons – he didn't even know the difference between the two!"

Bud laughed: "I can just see him waxing his car with those little cotton cylinders!"

Ashley: "Although I can't have all of you, I will now have a part of you."

As Ashley predicted, Jim had no reason to doubt that he was the father.

Ashley called Bud around eight months later with the news: "Bud, you have a beautiful, healthy, seven pound six ounce daughter!"

Bud: "Wonderful! How are you feeling? When can I come and see you?"

Ashley: "Mom and Dad will be here for two days before Dad has to go back home for a trial. You can come over on Thursday. Thanks to your big head, I had to have a C-section and will be in the hospital until this weekend. I am still a little sore but the worst is over. Mom is coming back up after I come home from the hospital to help out. When you come, just plan on being gone before Jim gets here after work around 5:30."

On Thursday, Bud tells Fanny that he has a day of ground school. He then makes the three-hour drive to Montgomery.

When Bud arrived at the hospital, he finds Ashley nursing the baby. Bud's heart melts. They look like Madonna and child. Ashley is radiant.

Bud kissed them both, Ashley on the lips and the baby on the head: "Ash, you and the baby are so beautiful. I love you both so much. That looks good! Can I have some too?"

Ashley: "Of course! That sounds deliciously naughty and like fun! Come back over in a couple of weeks after Mom has gone home and Jim is out of town - I will fix you right up. I wish I could do it right now."

Bud kissed her breast.

Bud: "I brought you some flowers."

Ashley: "Thanks Bud, but what am I going to tell Jim when he asks who sent me four dozen roses?"

Bud: "Tell him your parents or the office."

Ashley: "They already sent flowers."

Bud: "Tell him they sent more. You are going to have some more explaining to do. I also got you something else for the occasion in remembrance of our daughter's birth and for doing such a good job."

Bud reached in his pocket and gave Ashley a ring box. It contained over a four carat diamond cocktail ring that Bud had bought at a consignment store and had been appraised over $8,000.

Ashley is beside herself and squealed: "Bud, it is beautiful! Thank you so much! It is the most beautiful present anyone has ever given me! I am going to have to invent a story as to where I got it."

Ashley: "Come here. I love you!" She gave Bud a big kiss.

A nurse came into the room and said: "Mr. Miller you have a beautiful daughter."

Bud: "I'm not Mr. Miller. I am Mrs. Miller's brother."

The nurse got a funny look on her face: "In that case, you have a beautiful niece."

Bud had brought his camera and after the nurse left took several pictures of Ashley and the baby.

Ashley: "Now you are going to have some explaining to do. Where are you going to tell Fanny these pictures came from?"

Bud: "I will give them or send them to you and you can mail them back to us. Have you named her yet?"

Ashley: "I was thinking of Ava Rose. How does that sound to her father?"

Bud: "I like it. I don't like her last name though."

Ashley: "Bud, be good!"

Ashley handed Bud the baby after Bud washed his hands: "Ava Rose, meet your father."

Bud: "She is so pretty! I could just eat her up!"

Ashley: "Bud, I've never been so happy in my entire life. She is the living proof of our love for one another – our love child. She is so perfect. She is the most beautiful thing I have ever owned and I now own a part of you too. Just look at those little hands and fingers. On top of all this, I also have your ring which is now my prized possession."

Bud gets tears in his eyes: "If she is beautiful, it is only because she has such a beautiful mother."

Three weeks later Bud went back to Montgomery to see Ashley and the baby. Ashley nursed Ava and then Bud rocked her until she went to sleep. After they put Ava in her crib, Ashley took Bud by the hand to the bedroom.

Bud: "You promised me something."

Ashley: "And I deliver on all of my promises – well most of them. You must really be horny for me! I am for you! What do you want first?"

Bud: "How about a repeat of the routine at my house just after you got married?"

Ashley kissed him: "You've got it but this time you can touch, kiss and suck everything you want except my vagina – there is still a danger of infection."

Bud: "Can I go Greek?"

Ashley: "I don't see why not. The doctor's instructions did not mention anything about it – not that they would! You can do anything you want- just like when I am having my period."

Bud: "There were not any instructions for perverts?"

Ashley laughed. She stripped for Bud and took off her blouse revealing the two succulent and laden breasts.

Ashley: "My nipples are a little sore. Ava is a voracious sucker!"

Bud: "She got that from her mother and father!"

Ashley laughed. Ashley undressed Bud and gave him a massage with lotion.

Bud: "It doesn't seem quite fair that that little baby should get all of it! There appears to be enough for everyone. Do you think she would mind if her Dad had some too? Surely, she would not begrudge me that."

Ashley: "Oh, hush up. I am going to have to put something in your mouth to shut you up!"

Ashley straddled Bud and put her right breast in his mouth.

Ashley: "You have the right one baby!"

Bud suckled a little and ask Ashley: "Am I hurting you?'

Ashley: "No. As a matter of fact, it feels good!"

Forty-Seven

An airline pilot's job is a compromise – money or lifestyle. A pilot can make the most money possible but this involves flying trips with lousy working conditions. The alternative is to fly trips with the best working condition but make less money. Bud chooses the later for the 727 and flies the best trips. The number one trip in the base is a San Diego turnaround. Domestic flights can only be scheduled for less than eight flying hours a day. This flight is scheduled for 7:59 and is flown with one of the old Northeast short 727s. Bud has to work nine days a month – not bad!

Somebody in management comes up with the concept of the Dual Pool. The idea is to have additionally trained pilots in another seat or on other airplanes that can be used if needed. Bud bids and gets awarded captain on the 727. Bud is in the ideal situation since he only has to move from one seat to the other. Bud's real worry is passing the oral portion of the FAA rating procedure, specially the details of the flight engineers panel. Bud never flew as 727 flight engineer. He cannot see the panel which is right behind him and has no idea what goes on back there. Since they are only going to give Bud four days of refresher ground school, he starts studying the flight manual big time and learns all about the engineer's panel on his own. Bud gets by the oral and sails through the rest of the training.

Bud goes back to the San Diego turnaround. Bud's captain is a former line-check airman and he lets Bud fly the airplane from the left seat. Bud flies both legs - all eight hours. The captain talks on the radios during takeoff and landing only. The rest of the time he sits in the seat reading a magazine or sleeping and Bud does everything else. On one particular flight, they took off to the west in San Diego and landed to the west in Atlanta. Takeoff to landing was 2 hours and 43 minutes. At times the flight had over 150 mph tailwinds. If they had known how fast the flight was going to be, they could have had it officially timed and set a transcontinental record.

Bud gets a call from Crew Scheduling that assigns him a Dual Pool captain's trip to Houston. Sweet! A captain's trip automatically triggers a month's reserve captain's pay or about $1,500 more. Over the next couple of months, Bud gets a second captain's trip. Unfortunately, a Dual Pool captain drags a wingtip landing at Augusta and Dixie scraps the Dual Pool program.

Airline pilots bid every month for what is called at Dixie _Lines of Time_. This is a monthly schedule of trips. One month, Bud finds that he is scheduled to fly with one of the notorious Atlanta based weak captains, John Williamson. Williamson was a WW II Army pilot who spent most of the war as an Operations Officer – mostly a job involving paperwork and administration. Williamson could fly the aircraft alright as long as everything was scripted or routine. It was when things were a little abnormal or the pilot had to improvise that Williamson had problems - a pilot that could not walk down the street and chew gum at the same time. He was also very rough on the controls and jerked the aircraft around. Williamson dreaded his twice yearly check rides, was a nervous wreck, and would always request additional warmup time before the check ride. The instructor would not tell him that this training session was a formal check ride. Once he had successfully completed the required maneuvers during the course of his training, the instructor would pass him.

After spending the night in Detroit, the first stop on the pre-dawn flight down south was at Fort Wayne, Indiana. There had been freezing precipitation during the night and the runways had not been sanded at the time of their arrival. Bud's flight was the first large category aircraft to attempt a landing. A United 727 was holding and would not even make an approach until the runways had been sanded. Approach control was going to vector the flight to the 5,000 ft-long runway 27. Approach reported a small twin-engine airplane had previous landed and reported braking as _nil._ Williamson was going to accept this approach until Bud objected. Bud reasoned the 12,000 ft. runway 13 would be a better choice even though there was a 10 mph crosswind which was nothing to a 727. Williamson did not argue and flew a good approach and landing. Who knows what would have happened if he had tried to land on the 5,000 ft. runway with _nil_ braking.

On another trip, approach control radar vectored the flight to the airport. The weather was clear. When approach control asks to report the airport in sight, Williamson tells Bud to tell approach that the airport is in sight. Approach control then cleared the fight for a visual approach and instructed it to contact the tower.

Williamson did not know what to do and said to Bud; "Give me, give me, give me something!"

Bud who almost burst out laughing said: "Let's start with the gear." Bud then coached him the rest of the way to landing.

The month of flying with Williamson was about over. The last leg was to Atlanta with Williamson flying. The weather was clear. Bud had gone into a relaxed mode too soon. The flight was being vectored to runway 27 on the south side of the airport. The flight got down low and lost sight of the airport in the haze. Williamson was supposed to have his navigation radio tuned to the runway he was being vectored to. He was cleared to intercept the runway localizer and proceed inbound. Bud kept his radio tuned to the Atlanta VOR for distance information from the airport. When Bud sees his radio bearing go past the desired course, he looks down and sees that Williamson has his radio tuned to the runway on the north side of the airport. Bud immediately tells Williamson to turn left and resets his radio to the correct frequency. Just then, approach control alarmingly comes on the radio and gives the flight a vector to the south – there are other airplanes making approaches to the north runways. Fortunately, there was no near-miss with other aircraft and nothing else came of the incident. Bud figured that he should be getting more pay for having to wet-nurse one of Dixie's captains around all month.

Unfortunately, Williamson was not around much longer. Within a year or two after flying with Bud he developed cancer and passed away.

Bud needs more flying time one month and flies or picks up an extra trip, an Atlanta Falcons football team charter from Los Angeles to Atlanta. In Los Angeles, Bud is at the back of the cabin before the team boards and sees this very large number of bags of ice. When he asks what all the ice is for, he is told it is for the injured players. As the players board the aircraft, they are handed a plastic bag with three cans of beer in it. The players and other team lackeys sit in the coach section of the 727 while the coaches and owners of the team sit in the first class section. Hard liquor is served in the first class section only. The flight arrived back home in Atlanta about three o'clock in the morning. One of the coaches, is so drunk he couldn't hit the floor with his hat and has to be helped off of the plane. Bud looks back in the coach cabin after the players have deplaned. He has never seen such a mess in his life. It looks like a bunch of three-year- olds had been sitting there. The players had been playing cards and when they left they just tossed the loose cards on the floor!

Forty -Eight

Flying is unique in that it is a continual learning process. Flying experiences shape how a pilot flies his entire career. Bud learned a valuable lesson on a flight to New York's LaGuardia airport. Although Atlanta is one of the world's busiest airports, it is only one airport with one set of arrival and departure routes. Not so in New York with three airports in close proximity – Newark, LaGuardia, and JFK. Each has its own arrival and departure routes. One cannot deviate from these routes very much because of conflict with the other routes. Essentially New York airspace is ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag.

Bud is flying a trip from Atlanta to New York. It is back in the days when airlines actually served real meals on domestic flights. The food may be similar to that from a school cafeteria, but it is better than nothing. Bud is flying and about to start his descent into LaGuardia. The flight attendant calls the cockpit and asks if anyone wants dinner. The captain, who is a good guy and pilot, as well as the flight engineer indicate that they want a meal. Bud declines. The New York area is saturated with rain showers and thunderstorms. The captain and flight engineer are busily engaged in wolfing down the airline swill while Bud is doing everything else. Bud is looking at the weather radar dodging thunderstorms, talking on the radio to Air Traffic Control(ATC), changing radio frequencies, and making crossing restrictions on the arrival route. Crossing restrictions are crossing a particular point at a certain altitude. ATC has kept the flight high due to other traffic so Bud is under duress to make the crossing restrictions. In super water saturated air, the 727 is prone to build up static electricity on the nose. A blue flame builds up on the nose and windshield. The only way to remove the static electricity is to slow the aircraft down. Bud cannot slow down because he has to make the crossing restrictions. The inevitable happens and the aircraft experiences a static discharge which is making its own lightning and thunder. The noise sounds like someone fired both barrels of a double-barreled shotgun in front of the windshield. That gets everyone's attention!

Although Bud is pissed off, he keeps it to himself. Because of this incident, he vows to not allow any eating in the cockpit during descent when he makes captain. There are more important things at hand.

Bud started out disliking New York. When he was stationed at McGuire AFB in the Navy, he rarely ventured into the town. Once Bud started flying with Dixie, he laid over in New York on a regular basis and learned to like the place.

Bud layed over in New York during the Bicentennial Celebration. Bud and the other two pilots took the subway to lower Manhattan and took the ferry to Staten Island and back. The ferry weaved its way around all of the tall ships and other Navy ships from various countries around the world that were anchored in the harbor for the celebration. When they were halfway across the harbor they witnessed the military flyover. The Air Force and Navy flew over with three of every aircraft they had in their inventory. It was quite a sight!

On other occasions, the crew would venture to Canal Street where the vendors sold all of the illegal knockoffs. The best deals were on the ladies purses, silk scarves, and Mount Blanc pens – you would be hard pressed to tell the difference from the originals. They had knockoff Rolex watches too, but not of a good mechanical quality.

Bud had his favorite deli and killed time going to the many museums and the public library. The New York Public Library was arguable the finest public library in the United States. He also visited the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, and the Empire State Building.

Bud laid over in New York in January. Was it ever cold and windy! Bud was dressed pretty warmly with the exception of his legs which were freezing. Bud made a mental note to bring his silk longies on the next trip. While walking around Manhattan that day, Bud saw more women in fur coats that he had ever seen in his entire life! New Yorkers apparently had not bought into the anti-fur movement!

Forty-Nine

Bud bids and gets Lockheed L-1011 copilot. Bud likes the 1011. The 1011 is like driving a Cadillac and the 727 is like driving a Corvette. Flying both airplanes is enjoyable but different. Dixie has gotten rid of its 747s and now the 1011 is the queen of the fleet. Dixie now flies to Europe and uses the Dash 500 long range version of the 1011.

Dixie also uses the 1011 on its long haul domestic routes and most of the trips are good. Bud flies a trip that spends the night in Hartford, Connecticut. The next day, the flight goes to Bermuda with a stop in Boston. Bud is flying the leg to Bermuda. The domestic 1011s do not have any long range navigational equipment and the flight to Bermuda is navigated by Dead Reckoning or guessing. There is probably a good reason they call it _Dead Reckoning_ or navigating by the seat of your pants. This is also the captain's first trip to Bermuda as well and Bud asks him if he has a hand held navigation computer. Neither Bud nor he has one. Bud then asks the captain if he knows what the crosswind correction is. The captain replied that on the 440 it was three degrees for every 10 knots of crosswind. The flight plan indicates a forecasted 40 kt. crosswind at Nantucket, so Bud cranks in several degrees heading adjustment. They damn near missed the island and fortunately pick up the Bermuda VOR about 200 miles out. The captain's degree correction only applied to the 440. The 1011 had about twice the true airspeed so the correction needed was about half of what Bud put it. By the next trip, Bud had located his flight computer at the bottom of some drawer and did a better job. Shortly after that, the FAA got on Dixie's case and made them install an INS (Inertial Navigation System) on the Bermuda flights.

Dixie later also screwed up on the dispatcher's portion of the flight fuel load on a Bermuda flight. The nearest U.S. landfall to Bermuda is Boston. When flying to Bermuda, the weather alternate was always Boston. Unbeknown to the crew, the flight was dispatched with only enough fuel to descend to 10,000 ft. and then divert back to Boston. Well, this Dixie flight goes down to Bermuda and makes an approach. They cannot land due to excessive crosswinds. The flight then proceeded back to Boston. They do not have enough fuel to make Boston and have to land at the nearest suitable airport – Otis Air Force Base on Cape Cod. Well, the shit hit the fan on that one and all subsequent flights carried more fuel.

Another interesting operation of the 1011 was into New York's LaGuardia airport which only has 7,000 ft. runways. Out of LaGuardia the farthest Dixie flew was to Miami. The 1011 operated quite well out of LaGuardia – actually much better than the 727. While the 1011 was usually well under its max weight, the 727 was always at its max capacity and more of a marginal operation. Nevertheless, it was still somewhat alarming when rolling the 1011 around Shea Stadium with the runway looking like a carrier deck. The 1011 always made it with flying colors!

Bud flew with a second officer who had an interesting story to tell. His Navy attack squadron was training for deployment to Vietnam. They had just finished their training when the war ended and their deployment was cancelled. He said that about one third of the squadron was pissed off. These were the tigers who wanted to go to Vietnam, bomb, and kill things. The second third was happy that they did not have to go and put their lives in harm's way. The final third did not care one way or the other.

Fifty

Bud bids and is awarded a position as 727 captain. Bud has opted for money and being his own boss over lifestyle. To re- qualify on the727, Bud is scheduled for four days of ground school and three days in the simulator – two days of training and a check-ride. While Bud is in ground school, he receives a message to call the flight training scheduler. He is told that they are going to take away one of his training days.

The scheduler, L.A. Tatum said: "Bud we need you simulator spot. When we found out that it was you, we knew it would be OK."

Bud: "You wouldn't be shitting me, would you L.A.?"

The next day, Bud is told to call L.A. again.

L.A.: "Bud, we are going to have to take the second training day away from you too!"

Bud is shocked. All they are going to give him is a check-ride. Bud could have rightfully demanded a training flight but he went along with the program.

Although Bud had his doubts and apprehension, he flew one of the best check-rides in his life.

It was always Bud's contention that it was pretentious and egotistical to blow your own horn. If you were good enough, someone else would blow it for you. In this particular case, the check airman who gave Bud the check-ride, was the trumpeter: "Bud hadn't flown the 727 in over a year. He flew a check- ride the FAA would have been proud of. Bud is one hell of a pilot!"

As a junior captain, he has to fly reserve and some really rotten trips. At this time, Atlanta has a bunch of trips that leave around midnight and fly to various destinations such as Charleston, New Orleans, Miami, and others. The crew then sits around for a couple of hours trying to take a nap and then leave about four in the morning for Atlanta. A full month requires 18 of these trips.

On one of these dawn patrol trips, Bud and the rest of the crew are awaiting pushback in a semi-conscious state sipping on their coffee. Dixie and the rest of the airlines provide the public service of expediting human organ donations. This morning the gate agent gets on the airplane at the last minute and hands Bud a small cardboard box. Bud looks at the box and reads out loud that it contains the eye balls of some deceased woman.

After reading the label out loud, Bud hands the box to the flight engineer and tells him: "Keep an eye on this!"

Bud was not trying to be funny, but after he said this the entire crew breaks into uncontrollable laughter. This incident revitalized the crew and they are now ready to take on the world.

Bud flew another one of these trips to New Orleans. When Bud is starting the first engine for the flight back to Atlanta, the engine fails to light off. He asks the engineer if the ignition circuit breakers are in. Instead of telling Bud they weren't, the engineer pushes them in. The engine fires off with a rather spectacular flame that lit up the night. Bud can see the orange glow reflecting off the terminal wall and windows. The ground crew is going ape-shit. The rapidly spinning engine quickly blows out the flames. What the engineer should have done was to tell Bud the circuit breakers were out. Bud would have then turned the fuel off, continued motoring the engine and cleared out the unburned fuel.

He tells the engineer: "I didn't tell you to push the breakers in. I asked you if they were in. If you ever do that again, I am going to leave you out of my will."

Other than the bad trips, being captain is good. One day you are just one of the boys. The next day you move over to the left seat and hoist up that command pendant by adding the fourth stripe, the wings with the wreath around the star, and put on that hat with the gold scrambled eggs on the visor and you become king!

Everyone defers to the captain. "Captain Sir, can I do this?" "Captain Sir, is it OK if we do that?" "Captain, would it be alright if it is done this way?"

Dixie sends all of their new captains to a command school called _Charm School_ by the pilots. Bud is never sent to the school. He jokingly claims that they figured he had enough charm already. Bud has already been the military equivalent of captain so he has had some practice and has a pretty good idea how it should be done.

There are good and bad captains just like there are good and bad in any group. One airline wag said that to make captain, one had to have the required number of idiosyncrasies.

There is a saying around the airline: "The captain isn't always right, but he is always the captain."

One of the bad captains is the number one guy on the seniority list and another _Captain Queeg_. Bud flew one trip with him as a second officer to San Francisco on the 747. Inbound to the stop in Dallas, the flight is given a holding pattern and the captain enters the wrong holding pattern. Lucky for him, ATC does not violate him. He later chews Bud out for not putting on his hat when he went to the bathroom. Approaching the gate in San Francisco he taxis to where he stops the aircraft and tells Bud to shut down the engines. A pilot is supposed to continue taxing forward until the ground personnel turn off the taxi guiding light.

Bud asks: "Captain are you forward enough?"

He replies; "Shut them down!"

So Bud shuts them down. Shortly thereafter, the ground crew calls up. "Cockpit, you are a little short of the jetway. We are going to have to connect you to the tug and pull you forward a few feet."

This takes another five or more minutes. Meanwhile, 350 passengers are queued up waiting to get off the airplane. The captain gets out of his seat, puts on his coat and hat and leaves the cockpit without saying a word.

After he is gone, Bud remarks to the copilot: "What an arrogant stupid asshole!"

There was another pilot that qualified as a bad captain. Bud first got to know him when the guy went through 747 copilot training. He was a lousy copilot – lazy, sloppy, a whiner, and generally incompetent. Well, he finally makes captain and now he's the one responsible. Although he was far from doing everything by the book as a copilot, everything has to be done by the book now that he is captain. He makes so many enemies among the crews, he gets a visit from _The Phantom_. A visit from _The Phantom_ is when someone puts human feces in your flight bag. After that, he never let his flight bag out of his sight. Bud is in the hotel bar in San Francisco having a few beers, when this guy sticks his ugly head in. He is probably there in Frisco on vacation. He is dressed to the 9s with a coat and tie, a fedora, and a raincoat draped over his shoulders like some kind of French or Italian movie director. He looks ridiculous and Bud has to bite his tongue to keep from bursting out in laughter.

After he leaves the bar, Bud says: "Well, I'll be damn if that wasn't Carlo Fuckducci the famous Italian movie director!" The guys are laughing so hard they nearly fall out of their chairs!

Bud became friends with a pilot named Fred Bohannon who first flew with Bud when Bud was a copilot and Fred was flight engineer. Fred later flew copilot for Bud after Bud made captain.

All he did the entire trip was bitch about the other captains: "This captain did this and this captain did that. It was my leg and I went to the bathroom. When I got back the throttles had been moved. Why did he do that? He must have been nervous."

Fred probably bitched about Bud as a captain too. Well, Fred finally makes captain and turns into another _Captain Queeg_. Bud doesn't know if Fred got a visit from _The Phantom_ , but so many pilots complained about him that he is called in to see the Chief Pilot and told to clean up his act.

He later cries to Bud: "They said I am an autocrat," which is a polite way of calling him a tyrant.

Fred is _as fucked up as Hogan's goat_. Early on in his career with Dixie he had been intervened for alcoholism. Fred met both of his eventual ex-wives at Alcoholic Anonymous meetings – probably not the best place to meet women. One thing Dixie will not tolerate is financial grief from its employees. Fred made some bad investments. When Fred's creditors show up at Dixie's front door, Dixie had had enough and forced Fred to retire at the age of 50.

Fifty-One

Once Fanny and Bud's second child started walking, they started renting a house for a week on the beach at Gulf Shores, Alabama every year. They never failed to spend Sunday and Monday night with the Williams on the way home. For some strange coincidence, Ashley was always there at the same time. If anyone else wondered why this was the case, they kept it to themselves.

When Bud met Jim for the first time, Ashley overdid it by ordering Jim around more than necessary to insure Bud had no doubt how things were between them. Jim did her bidding on command. Joe and Bud exchanged glances during one of her exchanges with Jim. Bud could not help laughing to himself. Shortly, however, Bud began to feel a little sorry or even pity for Jim. Besides being cuckolded and his wife loving another man, the poor slob isn't even the biological father of his daughter. Bud harbors no jealousy, envy, resentment, animosity or hatred. It isn't Jim's fault that they happen to love the same woman. Ashley had achieved the results she wanted - again. Whatever Ashley wants – Ashley gets!

Later that day, Joe and Bud were sitting alone on the porch enjoying a cool one and a cigar. Jim was busy doing some chore for Ashley.

Joe: "Wow! Ashley was really riding her broom hard today."

Bud: "She was a little out of sorts. Maybe it is the wrong time of the month. A beautiful and high spirited filly needs a strong hand. She does not have that."

Joe: "You know what her problem is, don't you? It is obvious to Claire and I that it is because you don't belong to her and she is not happy about it. She takes out her frustration on Jim, her _whipping boy._ "

Bud: "It is rather difficult for me to belong to her when she is constantly going off and marrying someone else! I probably should not be saying this to you, but in spite of that fact, I still love her."

Joe chuckled: "That fact is also obvious to Claire and I as well. If she had married you the first time, we are convinced there would not have been two more marriages. We sure wanted you as our son-in-law. You should have seen her first two husbands! You met the second. What a couple of losers! I never met a man who had everything handed to him who was worth a damn!"

Bud wondered just how much more was obvious to Claire and Joe and his face showed it.

Joe saw the look on Bud's face and said: "Yes my boy, that is obvious too. We know that you and Ashley are involved and have been since her second divorce. It is not a coincidence that she just happens to be here every time you are. We also knew what you two were up to when you were here in the Navy – you two interact towards each other now just like you did then. Although Claire and I don't approve or condone it, we understand. We were once young, in love, and in heat too. Besides, you and Ashley are our two favorite people and we thought you would marry. You two just be discreet and don't mess up your families. Fanny and Jim are very nice people too."

Bud: "And we thought we were being so clever! She could have had me – twice! I don't want to even think about the first time when I was in Corpus Christi. I could have killed her the second time when Fanny left me. I almost lost it when she told me she married Jim. It was terrible timing. Two weeks difference and I would be calling you _Dad_ today. She only married Jim because she wanted to have a child and needed a husband. I swear to God that if I live to be 100, I will never understand women!"

Joe: "Join the club! She is our baby and came crying to us about it - lamenting _if she had only known_. She also said that she did not know what to do."

Bud: "I had talked her into divorcing Jim when Fanny asked me to take her back - once again, terrible timing. The only reason I took Fanny back was for Bud Jr.'s welfare. Ashley and I have come to the conclusion that we are just not meant to marry. Some days I think our love for one another is _a great tragedy_ – and other days _a many splendored thing_. "

Joe: "It would be _a great tragedy_ if you never got to see each other. The fact that you get to enjoy some time with each other makes it _a many splendored thing_. We also did not believe Ashley when she said she bought that diamond ring for herself after Ava was born. Jim bought into that cock and bull story but we figured it came from you."

Bud: "We just can't get anything by you two, can we? Are you going to mention this conversation and confessional to Ashley?"

Joe: "No. I will tell Claire though. It will give her an appreciation and understanding about how you and her daughter feel about one another and why we are where we are today. What I can't understand is why Fanny hasn't gotten wise to the situation."

Bud: "I have wondered that myself. Either she doesn't want to believe it, she just ignores it, or she accepts it. Also, I won't tell Ashley about our conversation. She would die if she thought that you and her mother knew all about us."

Joe did not bring up the subject of who was Ava's father. Fortunately, he let that sleeping dog lie. Bud couldn't tell the truth on that one anyway - Ashley might not want them to know. Bud suspected if Claire and Joe had figured out the rest of it, they probably knew the answer anyway.

After Ashley released Jim from duty, he joined Joe and Bud on the porch. The conversation took a turn in another direction.

Bud found that Jim was in fact a very nice guy.

Bud: "Ash, I like your husband. He is a very nice guy and a good father to Ava. I could just scratch his eyes out!"

Ashley: "Hey, that's my line!"

After the first trip, Ashley contrived so Jim would not be able to make the trip. She would wait to the very last minute before telling Jim about the trip to visit her parents. This did not give Jim enough time to arrange his work schedule to get the time off. Jim was out of town most of the time anyway.

Bud would get to spend some time with Ava who was a beautiful child – a spitting image of her mother. Ava called Bud _Uncle Bud_. Ashley is totally enthralled watching Ava and Bud together. Both Bud and Pa Pa Joe are enchanted with Ava. Ava had them both wrapped around her little finger so bad that it was pitiful. Bud and Joe engaged in a good natured competition for Ava's attention and affection. Ava was aware of this and although she was only three, she learned to work one of them against the other to get what she wanted. Bud and Joe spoiled Ava rotten and always had presents for her.

On one trip, Ava was hitting the candy pretty hard.

Bud: "Ava baby, you better stop eating that candy or you are going to get sick."

Ava turned on the tears.

Ashley walked into the room as Joe said: "Ava, Uncle Bud must think he is your father."

Ashley and Bud exchanged a glance.

Joe continued: "In fact, he isn't even your real uncle. But Pa Pa Joe is your real grandpa so I am going to overrule Uncle Bud and let you have all the candy you want."

Bud: "Ashley, if Ava gets sick, I hope you make _Old Pa Pa Joe Soft Touch_ here take care of her!"

Everyone laughed.

Bud was sitting around the pool watching the kids when Ava started crying.

Bud: "Come here baby. What's wrong?"

Ava came and sat on Bud's lap: "I hurt my toe."

Bud raised her foot and kissed one of her toes: "Well, Uncle Bud is just going to have to kiss that poor toe and make it all well."

Ava pointed to another toe and said: "I think it was this one."

Bud laughed: "Well, just to be on the safe side, Uncle Bud will kiss all of them."

Ava started giggling.

Meanwhile, Ashley had walked up behind Ava and Bud and had witnessed the entire exchange.

Ava rapidly recovered and left to return playing with the other kids.

Ashley who had tears in her eyes said: "Bud, that was so darling, I could just kiss you!"

Bud: "Well, I am not stopping you."

Ashley: "Later."

Ashley and Bud usually managed to sneak in some kind of sexual activity during the visits without Jim there. It took them a while to come up with a good scheme and routine. Where there is a will, there is a way! _Omnia vincit amore!_ Love conquers all!

On one of their first meetings in Brewton, Bud had been lusting at Ashley all day as she ran around in her bathing suit. Bud had built up a full head of steam and was about to blow a gasket.

Ashley and Bud were at the pool sitting in chairs and facing each other, keeping an eye on the kids who were playing nearby in the pool. Ashley loved to tease Bud and pulled the crotch of her bathing suit aside showing Bud her furry nest.

Ashley: "You would really like to have some of this – wouldn't you?"

Bud: "Stop! You are giving me a hard-on. Do you want to give me another case of _Blue Bells_?"

Ashley: "You're never going to let me forget that – are you?"

Bud laughed: "I can't. It is too cute!"

Ashley ran her finger along her crack.

Ashley: "Oh, I am so wet. Maybe you would like a little whiff?"

Bud: "I am warning you. You better stop or I am going to jump you right here and now!"

Ashley chuckled: "Oh, you are just bluffing, Mr. _Blue Bells_!"

Bud jumped up suddenly, startling Ashley. He acted like he was going to grab her.

She squealed, jumped up, and ran away from Bud, giving him a good laugh and reminding him how much he loved her for the nymph-like way she was.

Later Bud told her: "Stay up late tonight."

After dinner, everyone sat around a while. In time, the kids were put to bed and everyone else had turned in, eventually leaving Bud alone on the porch. Ashley joined him after getting Ava to sleep.

They were in the same spot they had been in twelve years earlier.

Bud: "I have been in pain all day!"

Ashley: "I know. I could feel your desire. It made me hot too."

Bud: "Do you remember sitting in this exact spot, twelve years ago?"

Ashley: "Yes! Feel me up!"

Bud did.

Bud: "Do you remember my famous _Excuse me_ , _I think my contact lens fell between your legs_ move?"

Ashley: "Yes."

Bud slid his hand up her shorts and fingered her.

Ashley: "Bud, I want you just as bad as you want me, but it is not going to happen tonight. I just don't feel comfortable. First, I have shorts on. Next time I will wear a skirt. We cannot risk being discovered in a compromising position on the porch with my shorts down. We cannot go somewhere else because we could not explain what we were up to. So, sit back and relax and let me give you a blow job."

Bud: "I love it when you talk dirty."

As Ashley was unzipping Bud's fly, she said; "You know how much I love being your wanton whore!"

On other trips, Ashley and Bud even managed to have sex at one of their old spots when they went horseback riding alone. Ashley would just drop her riding britches and get on her hands and knees or bend over. Bud jokingly called this _horsy style_.

Ashley and Bud's families developed a friendship. When Ashley and her family came to Atlanta they stayed at Bud's and Fanny's and vice versa.

After having Ava, Ashley kept her job and continued to have trysts with Bud in Atlanta on a regular basis. They managed to get together about twice a month. Sometimes Bud would spend all night with Ashley. Normally, they would usually get together for about five to six hours, the length of a golf outing. During that time, Bud would normally manage to get off four times in all of Ashley's appropriate and inappropriate orifices. Ashley liked Bud to do whatever he wanted – that was her turn on. Sometimes she would tell Bud to do anything he wanted. What Bud liked to do initially was to ejaculate in her mouth and he would tell her that was what he wanted. Sometimes they would begin with oral sex from start to finish. Other times, they would be having normal intercourse and when Bud was very close, he would withdraw and Ashley would finish him off. In Bud's mind, this was a confirmation of her submissiveness and compliance to him as well as his reinforcement of his dominance and possession of her. Apparently she liked it because she never refused or complained. She also never refused or complained about anal sex, the ultimate intimacy, which Bud usually saved to last when he needed lots of inspiration. Of course, there were times when anal sex was not possible.

When Bud managed to get off the fourth time, Ashley never failed to comment: "Well, you just broke Jim's monthly record again."

The only sexual activity Ashley initiated was the beatings or sadomasochism. Ashley and Bud had an understanding. Ashley usually never mentioned Jim or any of their activities to Bud. When she did, Bud knew she wanted a beating. She usually laid across Bud's lap and he spanked her naked bottom with his hand.

Fifty-Two

Bud flies dog trips for several months. One day he gets a telephone call from one of the managers of the training department. The guy asks Bud if he would consider becoming an instructor. Bud makes an appointment and goes to the training department to talk about it. Dixie bought 35 acres about five miles west of the airport where they built a computer building, a reservations building, and a simulator building. Instructors are scheduled to work 15 days a month. They are paid the 75 hours on the highest paying aircraft that they can hold system wide. They also throw in a couple hundred extra dollars override to make up for the loss of travelling expenses. The normal rotation is two months as an instructor and a month flying the line to keep your hand in. Bud has never even considered this option. He used to wonder why anyone would want to do this job. Bud decides that anything would be better than flying all of these lousy trips so he becomes an instructor and plans to do it for a year until he gets some more seniority.

Flight training involves three activities. The first is periodic checks. The captain gets two checks a year and the copilot gets one. The second activity is initial training. One instructor will take two students through the first half of the syllabus and another instructor will take them through the second half. The third activity is the actual airplane flight portion of initial training. During any given month, an instructor is usually scheduled for all three activities. New union rules does not allow pilot training in the middle of the night - only go from 5:30 in the morning to 12:30 at night. Union rules do not apply to new hired flight engineers and they can be trained from midnight to six in the morning.

Flight training in the airplane can get interesting. Training flights takeoff around six in the morning. Instructor training is virtually non-existent. Bud likes to do his landing work in Savannah. They have a north/south and an east/west runway. Bud sets up a figure eight traffic pattern. On one particular flight, Bud is using runways 36 and 9. After taking off on 36 the flight turns left and makes a touch- and-go landing on runway 9 and then turns right for a touch-and-go landing on 36. This is repeated over and over and quite a few landings can be accomplished. He has a captain in the left seat and Bud is occupying the right seat. While in this pattern, Bud usually leaves the landing gear down. After the captain has had about six landings, the flight does a full stop and taxis back to takeoff on runway 36. The captain calls for gear up and Bud raised it since this was a normal takeoff. They turn downwind for runway 9. Bud is the only guy on the plane that does not get a break. After being in the seat for three hours, he is getting a little tired. Bud says that now they will do a 40 flap landing – the landings that caused all the trouble with the initial 727s. Just then the tower calls and tells Bud to make a short approach since there is an Eastern flight inbound from the west. The captain trainee is dutifully calling for all the checklists – the after takeoff, the descent, the approach, and the before landing which are read by the flight engineer and answered by Bud. The flaps are extended to 40 as the captain turn on to final approach. Bud is watching the captain's first 40 flap approach very closely.

They are at 1,000 ft. above the ground when the engineer says: "Don't forget the gear."

Bud jumps. Sure as shit, the landing gear is up! There is supposed to be a warning horn when landing flaps are selected. Investigation reveals that the circuit breaker for that system is popped. Talk about being led down the garden path! Murphy's Law almost strikes again! Bud would have made a real name for himself by making a gear up landing in a 727. From then on, Bud tells the engineer to insure the checklists are complete when called for. The only checklist Bud will respond to while in the pattern is the before landing checklist. Another lesson learned!

The above situation is a good example of how some accidents happen in aviation. Usually a string of several unusual circumstances coincide that lead to disaster. If any one of the circumstances is removed, the accident is avoided. But every once and a while, all the planets line up and something bad happens. What was Ernest K. Gann's classic aviation novel – _Fate is the Hunter_? It should be required reading for every pilot.

On another flight, a copilot trainee is not having a good day – cruncher after cruncher after cruncher. Bud is determined to keep at it until he gets it right. Finally, the copilot touches down on one of the main landing gears and just lets the airplane go on the bounce. By the time Bud can grab the yoke the aircraft's bank has exceeded twenty degrees. Bud recovers and makes a full stop landing. He just knows that they have dragged a wing tip. Bud taxis off the runway and comes to a complete stop. He then tells the flight engineer to go out the rear stairs and inspect the aircraft. The engineer returns and reports that everything looked fine. Bud picks up the microphone and tells the tower that he wants a clearance back to Atlanta. Another lesson learned. When a pilot is having a bad day, you can keep him out there till hell freezes over and he isn't going to get any better. It is better to just come back and try it another day.

Bud is flying a training flight in Augusta - landing after landing after landing. The traffic pattern takes them over a boat and two guys fishing on the river. Bud muses that these two guys must think Dixie has real good service to Augusta – they have a plane landing every five minutes!

There is one other 727 instructor duty that is not conducive to longevity and that is the two-engine ferry. When a 727 loses an engine, it is much more economical to fly the airplane back to Atlanta on two engines than to take a new engine to where the airplane is located. This is the job of the training department. The problem is if the second engine is lost just after takeoff with the gear and the flaps down. The instructors practice losing the second engine in the simulator and it does work. The rub is that the landing gear and flaps are operated by engine driven hydraulic pumps located on engines one and two. If the inoperative engines are one and two, electrically driven pumps must be used to raise the gear – this is dependent on the remaining engine driven generator staying on line. If it doesn't, _you're dead!_ The instruction manual for two engine ferries does not start out on a positive note – _Avoid takeoff over populated areas!_ Of all the two-engine ferries conducted by Dixie and the other airlines, there were never any crashes.

Bud learns just how hard it is to start a fire. He is conducting a training flight and doing touch-and-go landings in Greenville, South Carolina. The drill on a touch-and-go landing is the following: after touchdown, Bud repositions the flaps to the takeoff setting and stands up the throttles to about a third of maximum power. Power does not come up immediately and one has to wait until the engine fan speeds up. After that happens, the throttles are advanced to takeoff power and a takeoff made. After about an hour of this, the center engine's fan is slow to accelerate. In what seems to be an eternity under the circumstances, the engine finally speeds up and a takeoff made. Meanwhile, while waiting for the engine to speed up the end of the runway is rapidly approaching. After the same thing happens a few more times, Bud directs the pilot flying not to close that particular throttle on touchdown and keep the fan speed up. They finally complete their training and head back to Atlanta. On the way back, the fuel flow on the engine that was giving them all the problems is much higher than the other two engines. The flight engineer writes up the problem in the maintenance log book. Back at the gate in Atlanta a maintenance man comes into the cockpit as Bud explains the situation. The maintenance man gives Bud this familiar look that mechanics give to pilots like Bud does not know what he is talking about. Just then, another maintenance man bursts into to the cockpit and pulls the auxiliary power units fire handle.

He blurts out: "Jesus, fuel is pouring out of the number two engine compartment."

Bud goes outside and confirms that fuel is indeed pouring out of the engine cowling. All of that fuel was flowing over the engine's hot exhaust. How it kept from catching on fire is anyone's guess. Turns out that some valve in the fuel system had failed.

One other duty of the instructors was working with _Fear of Flying_ people. Emory University in Atlanta ran a class for people who were afraid of flying. When Dixie had a vacant simulator, these classes would be given rides in the simulator and were even coached to takeoff the simulator and land it. Bud had a group of five or six of these folks and one of them asked Bud if flying was safe.

Bud has been thinking about such a question and had this to say: "Nothing in the universe is totally safe. You can live at the bottom of a mine shaft and be pretty safe, but an earthquake could get you or a comet or an asteroid could hit the planet or the sun could go super nova. You can stay in bed all day and that is relatively safe, but your house could be hit by a tornado, catch on fire, or be blown away by a hurricane or washed away by a flood. But what kind of a life is it to live at the bottom of a mine shaft or stay in bed all day. Let's consider acceptable risks. You do not have to go skydiving, bungee jumping, hang gliding or ride a motorcycle, but it is awfully convenient to get on an airplane in Atlanta and be in Europe in eight hours."

Bud did not know what the success rate was in this class or if his efforts did any good.

Dixie has changed its prospective pilot interview process since Bud was hired. Since Dixie is now providing disability pay for its pilots, they are going to be damn sure he is healthy before he is hired. Therefore, all prospective Dixie pilots are given a through physical exam before being hired. The pilots are still sent to the psychologist. All civilian pilots and military copilots are now given a ride in the simulator to fly an ILS approach. Military fighter pilots and military multiengine aircraft commanders are exempt. Dixie also runs a background check on all pilot applicants.

After a time as a flight instructor with Dixie, Bud developed some definite opinions of military versus civilian trained pilots. Military pilots were generally better pilots than their civilian counterparts and it starts with their flight training. The big difference is who is paying for the flight training. In the military, the government is paying to train you and they are going to make damn sure you are a competent pilot. On the other hand, in the civilian sector, the individual is paying for his training and is the meal ticket for the instructor. The civilian instructors nurse student pilots along that would have been washed out in the military. On the other hand, Bud felt that civilian pilots had a better attitude. Most military pilots career paths took them from college, through the military, and then to the airlines. They never had to worry where their next meal was coming from. Civilian pilots had to work for half-assed airlines and other marginal operators to get the required flying time to get hired by the major airlines. Consequently, the civilian trained pilot generally appreciated the job much more.

Fifty-Three

Toward the end of WW II, Congress passed the G. I. Bill, a program that provided educational assistance and other benefits to veterans. These funds were considered earned benefits and were tax deductable. Someone came up with the scheme of airline pilots obtaining ratings on other aircraft in the guise of improving their flying skills. It sounded too good to be true! So much so that one pilot wrote a letter to the IRS for approval and confirmation. The IRS wrote the pilot back confirming that this was in fact true and legal. The pilot went ahead and got a rating on a corporate jet and claimed the total cost as a deduction on his income tax return. The IRS then balked on allowing the tax deduction. The dispute wound up in court. When the pilot produced the IRS letter, the judge threw the case out of court.

Most airline pilots jumped on this good deal including Bud. The demand for this training created many flying schools. Bud applied and was awarded the benefit to obtain a rating on a Lear Jet at a flying school in Atlanta. There were about a dozen other students, mostly airline types, in Bud's class. The class began with all of the students giving a brief oral autobiography of themselves. To Bud's amazement, he recognized one of the students as Fanny's old boyfriend!

After Fanny graduated from high school, she met and started dating a fraternity brother of her cousin, who had just graduated from Tennessee. Bud had a dim view of this relationship as the boyfriend was five years older than Fanny. Bud considered him a _High School Harry_. The boyfriend went through Army helicopter training and was stationed in Germany when Bud started dating Fanny. Bud knew all about the boyfriend but the boyfriend did not know Bud from Adam. Fanny's relationship with the boyfriend eventually faded. The boyfriend wound up marrying an American school teacher in Germany and Fanny took up with Bud.

When the ground school took a break, Bud approached the old boyfriend.

Bud: "Did you graduate from Tennessee?"

The boyfriend took a step backwards: "Yes."

Bud: "Where you a Phi Sig?"

The boyfriend took another step backwards: "Yes."

Bud: "Did you date a girl named Fanny Simmons? Before you say any more, I better let you know that I am married to her!"

After that, they had a very pleasant conversation. The boyfriend flew for Piedmont Airlines and lived in Winston-Salem, N.C. They had some mutual friends. The boyfriend was staying somewhere in town for the Lear Jet school. Bud invited him to the house for dinner. Fanny was noticeably pregnant at the time and Bud found the boyfriend's and Fanny's meeting very amusing - Fanny didn't even kiss him! Bud always suspected that they had been intimate, although Fanny would never admit to it.

Bud considered the Lear Jet to be very squirrely. It was, however, very maneuverable and could be rolled which Bud did on several occasions. The Lear Jet was originally designed as a Swiss ground-attack fighter. When that project was cancelled, American Bill Lear took over the design and modified it into a business jet.

Part of the boondoggle of Lear Jet training, was a cross-country flight to Bermuda. Along with Fanny, two of Bud's friends and their wives plus the instructor's wife took a flight to Bermuda for a few day mini-vacation. All commercials jets at the time usually cruised at a maximum altitude of 37,000 ft. They could fly higher but usually could not because of weight. On the other hand, one of the operating characteristics of the Lear Jet, was a cruising altitude of 40,000 ft. and higher. This produced low fuel burn and the best range. The Lear could fly non-stop from Atlanta to Bermuda. The problem is if an engine is lost halfway between Charleston, S. C. and Bermuda eastbound. The Lear would have to descend to such a low altitude that it would run out of fuel before making Bermuda. The cautious and prudent pilot would refuel in Charleston. Westbound from Bermuda was not a problem. On the descent into Atlanta, Bud's friend goaded Bud into rolling the aircraft which Bud did. The maneuver made Fanny sick and she never forgave him for doing it! Bud had one more flight in the Lear Jet. He would never fly the aircraft again.

After one year in the training department, Bud decides to stay. He has gotten used to the lifestyle while making the most money possible. Dixie has cut back on the expansion and the training department's work load has diminished as well. Bud is working about nine days a month with six days on call. He hardly ever gets called. They work primarily during the week. Bud can literally select the days he wants off and can take any week off if he so chooses. Bud's vacation is meaningless now since he can get off any time he wants, so he usually takes a week of vacation over Christmas and News Years. All of Bud's interests are in Atlanta (and Montgomery) and he has no desire to go back on the road. Bud calls this _The Happy Days_. He can also see Ashley when she is in Atlanta at any time from six in the morning to midnight. He also gets to see Ashley longer since a simulator period lasts about six hours.

Fanny gets pregnant again and has their last child, another boy, in December 1977. Bud is busier than a one-armed paper hanger while Fanny is in the hospital. He has to get the first two boys up in the morning, make them breakfast, and take them to the baby sitter. He then has to drive to the airport and put in six hours at the training department. He stops by the hospital on the way home to see Fanny and the baby. He then picks up the two boys, gets them dinner and into bed. This routine goes on for several days and Bud does not know whether he is coming or going. Bud is aware that some people have a similar routine but have to do it every day. God bless em! At least, Bud knows that his situation is just temporary.

Fanny finally gets to come home but is still essentially out of it. On the first night Fanny is home, the middle boy wakes up sick in the middle of the night vomiting and with diarrhea. Bud winds up stripping the bed two times before he resorts to putting a large pair of rubber pants on him. Bud is on his knees at three thirty in the morning in the bathroom wiping up puke.

Bud muses to himself: _Thank God for mothers_.

Neither Bud's nor Fanny's mother can come down and help out. Fortunately, friends and other neighbors lend a helping hand until Fanny can get back on her feet.

Fifty-Four

Conventional thinking holds that a man can only be in love with one woman at a time. Everyone has seen the movie where the wife discovers that her husband is seeing another woman.

The usual question is: _Do you love her_?

Like it would make a difference!

Lust is greater than love!

Well, Bud is not a conventional thinker and his response is: "Who says you can only love one woman at a time?"

You don't love only one of your children. What takes place in polygamous societies – doesn't the man or woman love all of their spouses? As a matter of fact, Ashley told Bud that she would not mind being the second wife if that was possible. Anyway, at any given time Bud is usually in love with four or five women – including Fanny and Ashley.

Ashley is the best relationship Bud has ever had with a woman. Ashley is also the most sexually compatible partner Bud ever had - sexual proclivity in a beautiful woman. Bud is more open to Ashley than Fanny and can bare his soul to her. Part of it is that when Bud and Ashley are together it is only for each other – with none of the mundane rituals of marriage such as who disciplines the kids or who takes out the garbage. Bud would do anything to please Ashley and _vice versa_. They were totally devoted to each other. They never had an argument or fight with the exception of when Ashley married Jim. When Ashley and Bud were together, they had this magic. They would look at each other and something would go _click_. Shortly thereafter, they would be having sex. Bud has a rich English ex-patriot friend who tells Bud that the best fathers and the best husbands he knew back in England all had mistresses. Ashley says that she feels in her heart that she and Bud will eventually be together some day.

It is really amazing what people can get themselves into. Truth can be stranger than fiction. Bud is on a layover with one of his buddies, Al Rivers. Over a couple of beers, Al tells Bud about his affair with a neighbor. After the new neighbors moved in, it wasn't long before Al is disobeying another of the ten commandments – _Thou Shall Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Wife_. Al is totally enamored with her. Al and his wife become good friends with the new neighbors. His wife and the neighbor have a mutual interest in cooking and gardening and become fast friends. Al feels that some type of chemistry has developed between the neighbor and him. For one thing, her husband told Al that his wife likes him. For another, Al catches her staring at him during several of their social gatherings. It all comes to a head one hot steamy Georgia summer night. The neighbors had invited Al and his family over for dinner. After dinner, Al's wife went home to put the kids to bed and said she probably would not be coming back. Al and the husband are sitting on the screened-in back porch getting into their cups. After getting her kids to bed, the wife, wearing shorts, sits along side of her husband with hers legs crossed on the couch as Al pulls up a chair right in front of her. The husband is rambling on about something or the other and looks away. Al touches the back of her leg. She flinches and gets a startled look on her face. Al thinks to himself that he has really screwed the pooch now! After about another hour, Al takes his leave and goes home.

A day or so later, Al spots the neighbor in her yard on his way to the mail box.

He goes over to her and says: "I would like to apologize for the other night. I had too much to drink."

She replies: "That's OK Al. You and I are obviously attracted to each other. We are going to have to be careful never to be alone together."

Whether she meant to or not, she has just given Al the green light. An opportunity presents itself a couple of weeks later. Al's wife is off somewhere with the kids and her husband is off somewhere with his. Al calls next door and tells her he is coming over. They fly into each other's arms and in short order are rolling around entwined on the living room floor. Al has one eye on her and one eye out the window in case her husband returns unexpectedly.

The gal had previously confided to Al's wife that she gets nervous when her husband is travelling which he does a lot. She hatches an ingenious scheme. She calls Al's wife one night and tells her that she thinks she heard something. She then asks Al's wife to send Al over to check things out and stay a while until she feels comfortable again. The gal uses this ruse on a regular basis. She will call Al's wife and ask her to send Al over.

Al plays this down and when his wife asks him to go next door he complains: "Not again!"

His wife then begs him: "Please Al, do it for me." Al grumbles until he gets out the door and then runs next door. Bud thinks to himself that he could never get something like this past Fanny. She is just too smart.

Bud reciprocated Al's confidence and told him about his affair with Ashley.

Fifty-Five

The FAA instituted a program where certain certified Dixie instructors are allowed to give Airline Transport Ratings or ATPs – qualifying pilots as captains on specific airplanes. These certified instructors are called APDs – Airplane Pilot Designee. The primary purposed of this program is to lessen the FAA's work load. After a couple of years as an instructor, Bud is asked and agrees to become an APD. Bud gets a call from a former Northeast pilot, Kenny May, who is now a Dixie 727 instructor and an APD himself. It seems that Bud is scheduled to give an oral exam to one of Kenny's ex-Northeast buddies, Bart Sunday. Kenny tells Bud that Bart is real nervous about the exam and asks Bud to put him at ease. This gesture of calling another APD about one of your buddies is a _no-no_ and way out of line. Bud is pissed off and tells Kenny that he puts all of the people he is checking at ease. Well, the day comes for the oral exam and Bud starts off with a simple performance problem that requires Bart to get into the performance charts. This should only take about 10 minutes. After more than 20 minutes have passed, Bud discovers that Bart has been unable to complete the problem. Bud then explains it to him. Bud then starts on the oral portion of the exam – specific questions about the 727 aircraft systems and limitations. Bart does not know his stuff and Bud cannot believe that the ground school instructors even put this guy up for an oral. Bud is forced to flunk him and give him a _pink slip_. Well, Bart goes to Kenny and lies that Bud asked him questions about differential faults – a complicated electrical problem usually given to flight engineers. Kenny then thinks he is going to save the day and tutor Bart. Kenny calls Bud the next week with an apology.

Kenny said: "I tried to tutor him and found out that you were right. He doesn't know shit!"

Bud was training a copilot in the simulator. They were taking a break when one of Dixie's black pilots walked by. The copilot said that whenever he sees a black pilot the alarm bells go off. He said that when he was an instructor in the Air Force, black pilots could not be washed out. They had to either quit, get their wings or kill themselves.

It has been said some people are so stupid and self-destructive that they have to be protected from themselves. Bud runs into several of these cases at Dixie. One was a pilot in Bud's Navy squadron. He got hired by Dixie over a year earlier than Bud. Something happened during initial ground school. Either he didn't like the way Dixie was running the ground school or didn't like the idea of becoming a DC-6 flight engineer. At any rate, he gets in touch with the Navy and asks if they will take him back without broken service. The Navy said they would, so he quits Dixie and goes back into the Navy. He spends the next four years as an instructor in Pensacola. At the end of the four years, he decides he really didn't want to make the Navy a career after all, so he resigns for the second time and gets hired by Pan Am. If he would have stayed with Dixie he would have been a captain by now. He works for Pan Am for a year or so and gets furloughed. Pan Am has now gone almost entirely to the 747 which replaces three 707s. Pan Am has more pilots than it will ever need and this guy never gets recalled. If he would have stayed with Dixie, he would have eventually become one of their most senior pilots.

A similar situation occurs with a former Air Force pilot. He resigns from Dixie after a short time and goes back into the Air Force. The Air Force gets a lot of mileage out of this and features the guy on the front page of the _Air Force Times_ newspaper: "Here is a pilot who chose the other way!" He spends a few years in the Air Force, gets passed over for promotion to major, and gets riffed or kicked out of the Air Force. He then becomes an FAA inspector. Bud bets that this guy has a real good attitude and is easy to work with. Fortunately, he does not work with Dixie due to possible conflict of interest.

Another pilot got religion. He pays a visit to the then Chief Pilot in Atlanta, Herb Farmer, who is really a first class guy. He tells Herb that he wants to resign and go to divinity school. Herb asks him if he is sure he wants to do this. Herb then offers to give him a leave of absence. If divinity school does not work out, he can have his job back. Does he accept this very generous offer? It is not going to cost him a thing! But no! He says he is committed and insists on resigning from Dixie. Sure as shit, divinity school does not work out and he eventually quits. The next news heard about the guy is that he is flying for some non-scheduled airline out of Alaska. If he had had the common sense to accept Dixie's leave of absence, he also would have become a senior captain with Dixie – one of the most coveted and prized flying jobs in the entire airline industry!

While on the subject of religion, Dixie has a captain who was a religious zealot. On a flight the crew was dealing with a very bad thunderstorm situation. The captain got on the public address system and told the passengers that they had done all they could do in the cockpit – now the flight was in the hands of God. Well, the flight eventually made it. When the news of this incident got around to the other pilots most found it humorous; however, neither the passengers on the flight nor Dixie's management found it amusing. The captain was forced into retirement.

Bud gets a call from Ashley. Jim has dropped dead from a heart attack. Ashley told Bud that she needed him with her and Ava. Bud couldn't help ashamedly thinking to himself that Jim probably discovered what his wife has been up to! Fanny could not take the kids out of school. With Fanny's blessing, Bud travelled to Montgomery by himself for a few days to console Ashley and Ava and help them get through the funeral.

When Bud arrived at Ashley's, she and Ava flew into his arms.

Ashley: "Bud, I have never been so glad to see someone in my entire life!"

Bud sat on the couch with his arms around Ava and Ashley and kissed their tears away.

Mr. and Mrs. Williams arrived a short time later. They all stayed at Ashley's house. Other than the circumstance, it was like old times. The difference was that Bud sneaked into Ashley's bedroom this time to comfort her rather than her sneaking into his bedroom.

Ashley put Bud into the bedroom next to her. After everyone had settled down for the night, Bud slipped next door into Ashley's bedroom. Once he held her in his arms, she began to cry.

Bud: "What's wrong Baby? Tell Uncle Bud all about it."

Ashley: "Bud, I am going to go to hell for being such a wretched wife. All I ever did was torment him for not being you."

Bud: "You made him happy and what he didn't know didn't hurt him. Furthermore, you are not going to go to hell for committing adultery. If everyone who committed adultery went to hell, there wouldn't be anyone left to go to heaven – especially any men. Besides, there isn't any hell anyway. That is just an invention by the religious powers that be to keep people in line."

Ashley: "Are you certain?"

Bud: "Absolutely! Look at it this way: essentially you had two husbands, Jim and me. I think you are a wonderful and beautiful wife and mother. "

That made Ashley feel better: "Bud, make love to me!"

Bud: "Your wish is my command! I know just the thing to get your mind off this guilt-trip! Would you like me to punish you for being a bad wife?"

Ashley: "Yes!"

Bud: "Turn over onto your stomach and take off your bottom!"

Bud was afraid that spanking with his hand would be too noisy, so he got a wire clothes hanger and fashioned it into a whip.

The funeral was two days later. Ashley looked elegantly beautiful in her black mourning ensemble.

Before they left the house, Bud said to Ashley: "I wish I could hold your and Ava's hands through this upcoming ordeal. Although I can't do that, I'll be right behind you all the time."

Bud's heart ached for Ava who stood dutifully and devotedly at Ashley's side the entire time. After the burial, the funeral party retired to Ashley's country club where a remembrance and celebration of life was held for Jim. Bud had to go to work the next day so after an hour or so he said his goodbyes to Ashley.

Bud: "I have to leave."

Ashley: "I don't want you to go."

Bud: "I know. I don't want to go either but I have to. I'll call every day. I would like to give you a proper kiss goodbye, but I guess a peck on the cheek is going to have to do."

Ashley: "Thanks for being here for us Bud. You have been a great comfort and I couldn't have made it without you. I love you."

Bud: "I'll always be there for you and Ava and I love you both. Chin up and hang in there."

When Bud said his goodbyes to Ava, he gave her a proper kiss.

Ashley, who was 40 when Jim died, was the quintessential _Merry Widow_ – wealthy, relatively young, and still beautiful. After an appropriate time of mourning, Bud and Ashley had a talk.

Bud: "Do you want me to divorce Fanny?"

Ashley: "I have thought a lot about it. I appreciate your offer, but as badly as I want you, I don't want that. I won't be a home wrecker and destroy your family any more than I would be an unwed mother. There are just too many other nice people's lives and happiness involved. I am perfectly happy and content with the status quo."

Bud: "Our relationship has withstood a variety of marital combinations. First, we both were single. Then I was married and you were single. Next, I was single and you were married. We were both married next to different people. Now we are back to me being married and you single. One of these days we are going to have to try being married to each other! Isn't that a novel idea? We ought to send our story to _Ripley's Believe It or Not_ or _The Guinness Book of World Records_."

Ashley laughed.

Bud: "Well, if you won't marry me, I still want you to enjoy life to the fullest and have fun when we are not together. I am OK with you dating and going out to dinner and other events as long as it doesn't go any further than that - AND NO MORE DAMN HUSBANDS!"

Ashley laughed: "That is the least of your worries. Three husbands in one's life is enough. I don't think I like being married anyway. As for the dating, right now, I have no desire to, but if I ever do, I promise to be faithful to you."

Through her job, friends, and acquaintances, Ashley met many men who pursued her and she eventually started accepting invitations for dinner. Ashley never encouraged men, led them on, or played games with them. They nevertheless came to her like moths drawn to a flame – with the same results! She did not take advantages of her suitors financially and offered to go _Dutch_ or pick up the tab on most occasions. The majority were so intent on getting into her pants that they did not care or think of how much money they spent on her. Most men quit dating her when they could not get sexually to first base. There was always those few who would not take _No_ for an answer and persevered.

One who persevered was a heavy hitter named Ed Castleberry, 52, who owned his own development company and a Lear Jet. Ed was accustomed to getting what he wanted and he wanted Ashley. Most women were automatically seduced by his wealth. When that did not work with Ashley, he tried another previous successful tact to seduce her. Ed invited Ashley to fly with him in his jet on three separate occasions to Las Vegas, The Bahamas, and New York. Although Ashley had no intention of ever going on a trip with Ed, she knew that he would expect any woman to sleep with him if these invitations were accepted. The rejections only made Ed want her more. He was head over heels in love with her and was ready to pop the question but determined to sleep with her first. Ed then played his normally successful leg-spreading trump card. He tried to give Ashley a $10,000 necklace which she would not accept. Ed is beside himself now. No woman had ever turned down such a gift from him. Ashley decided that she had let her relationship with Ed go too far. He was getting too serious and she was going to have to end it.

Before she had an opportunity to break off from Ed, he came right out and flat asked her: "Ashley, I love you. Are you ever going to sleep with me?"

Ashley: "That is not very likely."

Ed: "Is it because you think sex is only for marriage?"

Ashley: "No."

Ed: "Would you sleep with me if I asked you to marry me?"

Ashley: "No. And don't bother asking me to marry you."

Ed is leaking oil now. How could any woman spurn him and his millions? He had assumed Ashley was withholding sex until she got a proposal and ring from him.

He is alarmed now: "Is there something wrong with me or something about me that you don't like?"

Ashley: "No, there is nothing wrong with you. You are a very nice attractive guy. I like you very much - as a friend, but it is not going to go any further than that."

Ed is really perplexed now!

Ed: "So why wouldn't you marry me?"

Ashley then shot poor Ed down in flames by telling him the plain, unvarnished truth. After all, he asked for it!

Ashley: "Well, if you insist on knowing, there are two reasons. The first one is because the man I love would not like it and I am faithful and loyal to him. I will spend the rest of my life regretting not being faithful to him from the beginning. My failing is why I am not his wife today. I am not going to make a mistake like that again. Secondly and most importantly, I don't love you!"

Ed: "I had no idea there was another man in your life. He doesn't live in Montgomery, does he?"

Ashley: "No, in Atlanta."

Ed: "Why aren't you two living together or married?"

Ashley: "Because he is already married."

With that, Ed is now fatally wounded and spinning out of control: "What is your daughter going to think or do if she finds out you are carrying on with a married man?"

Ashley: "She is probably going to be delighted. She already loves him and he's her father."

Ed is shocked: "I don't believe it!"

Ashley: "I don't expect or care if you, or anyone else for that matter, believe it. I'm very sorry Ed, but that is just the way it is."

That was the last Ashley saw of old Ed. Others crusaders soon took his place and continued the quest of conquest, to climb the mountain, to untie the Gordian Knot, to conquer and possess the beautiful queen – all to no avail! They might just as well have been tilting at windmills! Ashley became known in certain social circles around Montgomery as _The Virgin Queen_ and _The Iceberg_.

Fifty-Six

Back during Bud's early days with Dixie, there was entirely too much drinking going on. Dixie and the rest of the airlines had a cultural history of heavy drinking. Bud learned of an anecdote involving senior members of Dixie's flight operations and management. The group had traveled to Santa Monica to take delivery of Dixie's first Douglas DC-6. The group was out partying and all wound up getting arrested. A personage no less than Donald Douglas, the founder and CEO of Douglas Aircraft, had to bail them out of jail. In those days, misbehaver such as that was tolerated and kept quiet. Today, an incident like that would be on the front page of the newspapers and on national TV. The persons involved would be severely disciplined or fired!

In the 1970s, the culture changed. Such behavior was not longer tolerated. Today, high profile individuals are expected to act like altar boys. Consider that during the terms of FDR there was a president crippled from polio and could not walk. He had a mistress and his first lady had a lesbian affair. Mamie Eisenhower was an alcoholic. JFK had his ladies. None of these facts ever reached the American public although the media was well aware of them. The media in those days had integrity, values and respected the individual's privacy.

That all changed during the time of the Vietnam War, when the media became totally self serving and a bunch of whores. They had their noses in everyone else's business. The mainstream media now is no different than the sensational tabloids in the grocery stores checkout lanes – "Two headed calf born in Arkansas." Hell, the President can't even get a blow job in the Oval Office without it creating a national scandal! Why is that anyone else's business? Why would anyone besides Mrs. Clinton care? Then there was the _Tailhook Scandal_ in which the media created a witch hunt and feeding frenzy that emasculated Naval aviation. Officers were denied promotion for attending the convention even though they did nothing wrong – guilt by association. If anything illegal had been committed at the convention, the culprits should have been dealt with individually. Other than that, it was just a group of red-bloodied American males, who just happened to be America's finest young men, having a little fun. If President Bush had had any balls he would have put a stop to the witch hunt instead of letting the _Grand Inquisitor_ , Patsy Schroeder and her ilk run amok.

A senior captain related another anecdote to Bud. The captain had a flight from Atlanta to New York in a DC-6 or 7. Riding as a passenger was Charlie Olsen, then Dixie's Vice-President of Flight Operations who would go on to be the CEO. These were the days when passengers had a two drink limit.

The flight had just gotten airborne when the first class flight attendant came to the cockpit: "Captain, Mr. Olsen has had two martinis and wants another. What should I do?"

The Captain: "Honey, give him anything he wants!"

When the flight arrived in New York about three hours later, Olsen stomped off the airplane under his own power.

The flight attendant said: "Captain, Mr. Olsen had 12 martinis!"

If drinking became a problem for a pilot a process called _Intervention_ took place. The pilot in question would be summoned to see the Chief Pilot. When he got to the Chief Pilot's office he is taken into a room where he finds his wife, friends, and other pilots who conduct a type of inquisition – _J'accuse_. Everyone pointed out the pilot's excessive drinking habits and how it has affected his family and his job. After this session, the pilot is taken directly to an alcohol rehabilitation facility or _Dry Dock_ for a 30-day treatment. His wife sees him off with a bag of clothes and toilet kit that she has prepared. Now the pilot does not have to go but if he doesn't he is taken off the payroll. One senior captain refused to go and went ahead and retired. Back then, Dixie would give a pilot another chance if he had a relapse. There is no third chance.

Bud flies quite a bit with a former Northeast pilot, Eddie Watson, who is a flight engineer while Bud is the copilot. Eddie is a heavy boozer and pulled some real beauties. Bud and Eddie are laying over in San Diego. These were the days when Coors beer was not sold east of the Mississippi and everyone in the East wanted it, mainly because they couldn't get it. The first thing the crew did on the way to the hotel in San Diego was stop at a conveyance store and buy a case of Coors to take home. Bud and Eddie have a few beers in the hotel bar. Bud turns in as Eddie says he is going to have one more. The next morning Bud gets the case of Coors in his suitcase and lugs it to the lobby. Eddie comes waltzing in a little later carrying his suitcase with two fingers. Bud asked Eddie where his beer was and Eddie says that it is all gone. It turns out that Eddie closed down the bar and was making his way back to his room as a DC-8 crew was arriving. One thing leads to another and Eddie and the DC-8 crew polished off his case of warm beer.

On another occasion, Bud and Eddie are laying over in New Orleans. Once again, Bud has a few and turns in while Eddie stays at the bar. Bud is sound asleep when Eddie starts pounding on his door. Eddie comes into Bud's room with some dolly he picked up at the bar and asked Bud to let him have Bud's flask of Scotch. Eddie and the girl retreat to Eddie's room to continue partying.

Bud and Eddie also have a layover in Portland, Maine. The pilots go down to the bar. After one beer the captain turns in. Bud has one more and then he turns in. As usual, Eddie says he is going to hang around a while.

The next morning, Bud and the captain are sitting around the lobby waiting for pickup when one of the guys who works in the hotel says: "Do you have a pilot by the name of Eddie Watson on your crew?" When Bud says they do, the guy starts laughing: "He was bouncing off the walls here about two in the morning trying to find his room."

Bud invites Eddie to a game of poker at Bud's house. It is not very serious poker and most bets are only a quarter. As usual, Eddie drinks too much. When the poker game breaks up, Bud tries to get Eddie to spend the night. Eddie insists he is fine and takes off. A few miles down the road, Eddie is stopped by the police and arrested for DUI. Dixie finally catches up with Eddie and he is intervened. Eddie who doesn't lose his sense of humor over this says that they threw a net over him. Eddie straightens up and flies right. He makes it to captain and eventually to a normal retirement.

Another one of Dixie's pilots got himself into big trouble. He met some local guy at a bar on a layover. They both have had more than enough to drink and they decide to go to another bar. On the way to the other bar, the local guy stops at a convenience store to buy some cigarettes and instead robs the clerk while the pilot remained in the car. Well, they don't get far and are arrested by the police. The police cannot believe the guy is a pilot for Dixie. Finally everything gets straightened out and the pilot is not charged in the robbery but only after the flight is cancelled the next morning. All the ugly details are in the local newspaper causing a great deal of embarrassment for Dixie. Dixie comes to the conclusion that the pilot has a drinking problem and sends him to dry dock. A few years later, he gets killed in a motorcycle accident.

There were a few notable drinking excesses by passengers as well. One of the legendary characters was the head football coach of the University of Alabama, _Bull_ Brewer. _Bull_ was known to really get loaded on Dixie flights to Birmingham. _Bull_ on occasions would not even be able to walk off the airplane under his own power and would have to be literally carried off. _Bull_ was also known to hustle stewardesses and give them jewelry. All of these indiscretions were kept confidential. His status in Alabama was as close to that of a Roman emperor and deity as was possible in modern times. Any newsperson who reported this would have been considered to have committed blasphemy and treason and would be run out of Alabama on a rail!

Dixie has VIP lounges called Crown Rooms at most large airports for VIPs, First Class passengers, and members who pay a fee. A Dixie passenger service agent told Bud this anecdote. It seems he was assigned to the VIP lounge one day. A group of Southern Baptist preachers had an hour or two wait in Atlanta for their connecting flight. The lounge has couches and lounge chairs. They serve complimentary alcoholic drinks, soft drinks and snacks. One of the preachers came to the bar and the agent asked him if he could get something for him.

The preacher said: "I would like a vodka and 7-Up but I don't want that fellow over there (the second preacher)to know it."

The agent: "I can fix that drink discreetly for you sir."

The preacher: "Thanks, I would appreciate that."

After the preacher left the bar, the second preacher approached the bar."

The agent: "Can I help you sir?"

The second preacher: "I'd like a drink, but I don't want the guy you just served to know it!"

Bud is giving a check-ride in the simulator to a captain and a copilot. After his briefing, the three of them were in the break area having something to drink. It seems that the captain and the copilot had recently gone through divorces.

The copilot had the most interesting story of the two. He was a nice looking, tall, blond. He was based in Los Angeles but lived in Phoenix. The last part of his trip had been cancelled resulting in him arriving home earlier than expected. He arrived home to find his wife in his bedroom with the preacher. They were fully clothed but it was obvious they had just showered since their hair was wet. The copilot and his wife had been having some problems so they were going to the preacher for counseling. He said that he should have figured out something was not kosher. After going to a couple of religious camping retreats, his wife did not want him coming along on subsequent retreats. The preacher had a wife and family as well, but he gave up everything and eventually married the copilot's wife.

The captain did not give any details of his divorce but did make a profound philosophical statement: "The institution of marriage was conceived in ancient times when the life expectance was 35 years. It was never intended that you were supposed to live with the same person for 35 years!"

Fifty-Seven

When Bud began flying for Dixie, the price of aviation fuel was $0.17 a gallon and regular automobile gasoline was $0.29. The cost of jet fuel was of little concern to the airlines and the emphasis was to get the flight from A to B as quickly as possible. All of that changed during the first oil crisis of 1973. All airlines began fuel economy measures. On the 727, normal cruise speed was reduced from Mach .84 to Mach .80. This procedure did not work on the jumbo jets. Jumbo jets were designed to cruise around Mach .84. Reducing Mach to .80 results in a higher deck or nose pitch angle and the flight attendants could not push the beverage and food carts up the aisle. On the 727 and other narrow body jets, cruise speed was reduced. Bud was not so sure this was a wise decision.

On one occasion, Bud had a flight from Boston to Dallas/Ft. Worth (DFW). It was a Sunday afternoon and the flight was full. The flight was delayed and lots of passengers had connecting flights at DFW. Once the flight got airborne, Bud pointed the airplane southwest and put the pedal to the metal. Although the flight plan called for Mach .80, Bud was flying as fast as possible. The aircraft landed at DFW 20 minutes under the flight plan schedule while burning several thousand pounds less of fuel than predicted. This caused Bud to wonder about the wisdom of slowing the 727 down. After all, it was designed to cruise at .84 – not .80!

Another fuel economy procedure was taxiing on one engine. Prior to the fuel crisis, the 727 would start and taxi with all three engines. Dixie's new procedure is to taxi on one engine – the number 2 engine. The number 2 engine also ran one of the two engine driven hydraulic pumps that operated the landing flaps and nose wheel steering among other items. The problem with that was when flaps were moved with only one engine running the flaps took priority and nose wheel steering was lost. So Dixie did not extend the flaps until all three engines were started. Bud observed that other airlines were also taxing on only one engine. After starting number 2 engine, they would extend the flaps to the takeoff position before taxiing. Bud asked a member of management why Dixie was taxiing with the flaps up while other airlines were taxiing with the flaps down.

He was told: "Our way will prevent a crew from attempting a takeoff with only one engine running."

Bud wonders why idiots are made managers. Well, guess what? A Dixie flight attempts a no-flap takeoff at Dallas-Fort Worth, crashes, and kills 14 passengers on August 31, 1988. There is a warning system that guards against an attempted takeoff without the flaps in the takeoff position, but this system was inoperative on this flight. Murphy's Law strikes again. The one time the pilots failed to extend the flaps and missed the item on the checklist, the warning system failed.

Dixie's managers, the absolute masters of 20/20 hindsight, step in and immediately made big changes in the procedures. The managers would have bolted the flaps into the takeoff position if they had their way. But this was not practical. The flaps were placed into the takeoff position prior to taxiing – what they should have been doing in the first place. The flaps item on the checked list was put on the taxi and the takeoff checklists. It had previously only been on the takeoff checklist.

The pilots of the flight survived. They were subsequently crucified by the National Transportation Safety Board's investigation. They will also have to spend the rest of their lives living with the deaths of 14 people on their conscious. Granted they were ultimately responsible for failure to extend the flaps and subsequently missing that item on the checklist, but they were not the only ones at fault. Dixie's managers who came up with this flawed procedure and the Federal Aviation Administration who approved this procedure were factors in the accident and got off scot-free. If Dixie's procedure was sound in the first place, why was it radically changed?

Fifty-Eight

An airline pilot is a high profile job much like a celebrity. The slightest misstep winds up in the news. Pilots are normally guilty until proven innocent. Dixie has a policy of dealing with its pilots who stray off the narrow path. A minor offence such as allowing an unauthorized person to ride the cockpit jump seat will result in a month off without pay. More serious offences result in more time off. For the more grievous offences, pilots are initially fired. After a year of banishment, they can be reinstated if they have kept their noses clean. The worst punishment is being fired with no chance of returning. Most fired Dixie pilots go to work for Motown Air, a non-scheduled outfit based out of Detroit at considerably less pay. Motown Air loves fired Dixie pilots and takes all it can get.

Bud is back in the simulator re-qualifying a pilot who was given a year off for an alcohol related incident on a layover in Norfolk. Bud never saw a guy so happy to be back with Dixie.

He looks around and tells Bud: "You guys do not know how good you have it."

He had spent a year with Motown. He told Bud that at Motown they would have to fly airplanes that would have been automatically grounded at Dixie.

If a pilot balked at taking an airplane he would be told: "If you won't take it, we will get someone else who will."

Needless to say, the pilots always took the airplane.

Dixie finds itself with another problem pilot on its hands – Tim Goodman. Tim's philosophy is that if you proposition every woman you meet, you are bound to get a few takers. Bud who knows Tim fairly well says that Tim would proposition his own mother. Tim made the mistake of cornering some woman's lib passenger in the Atlanta Airport terminal in his pilot's uniform. This woman did not appreciated Tim's advances and writes a letter of complaint to Dixie. Tim is called on the carpet, not by the Chief Pilot, but by Dixie's President, Alan Davis himself. Does Tim learn the error of his ways? No! He keeps up his _modus operandi_. After it gets back to Dixie that he cornered a black congressman's wife at a hotel in Cincinnati, Tim is told to get psychiatric help or else. Tim insists that there is nothing wrong with him and he refuses. Dixie fires him, not for a year, but permanently. Tim got a job with Motown.

Another pilot should have been fired but wasn't. Dean Kramer had a reputation as a cowboy or loose cannon. Apparently cowboys and loose cannons ran in Dean's family. His brother, who was a student pilot in the Air Force, crashed and killed himself while buzzing his girlfriend's house. Well. Dean is a captain on a 727 whose takeoff is being delayed in Portland, Maine because of low visibility. Dean comes up with the cockamamie scheme of taxing and directing the exhaust of his engines at visibility sensors off the side of the runway to dissipate the fog. The tower gives him clearance to do what he wants. He is riding the brakes so hard with all of this taxiing that the brakes catch fire. The aircraft has to be evacuated and the airport fire trucks called to put out the fire. Dean caused several million dollars of damage to the aircraft. The only reason he did not get fired was probably because no passengers got hurt. He did get a few months off without pay for this expensive and harebrained stunt.

One Dixie pilot even shot and killed his wife while she was taking a bath. He claimed that he brought a rifle into the bathroom to frighten her and it went off when he dropped it. A police technician testified that he dropped the weapon 100 times in every possible way and it never misfired. The pilot was convicted.

There was a pilot of another airline in the Northeast who killed his wife, froze the body in a freezer and cut it up with a chain saw. He then rented a wood chipper and ground the frozen body parts up. The police who had been looking for the missing wife suspected foul play. The police managed to find traces of blood, bone and tissue and it was all over. He got 50 years.

Several other Dixie pilots who could not live with their six-figure incomes resorted to flying narcotics into the country and were caught. The ones who were convicted were permanently fired.

During Bud's tenure with Dixie, there were also at least three pilot suicides that he knew of. These are a public relations nightmare for an airline. For some reason or the other, the travelling public does not like the idea of pilots who fly them around doing away with themselves.

Dixie had another pilot who was not getting along very well with his wife. She called the Federal Aviation Administration and told them that her husband had threatened to kill himself by crashing a Dixie jet. Needless to say, the shit hit the fan on that one and the pilot was grounded. The pilot finally got his license back, but only after a considerable amount of scrutiny and psychiatric evaluation. Bud never heard if he actually threatened to kill himself or if his wife had made the story up.

Then there is the strange case of Durio Lopez. Lopez's father was high up in the Cuban Batista government. When Castro took over Cuba, the Lopez family fled to the U.S. Durio finished up college and went into Navy flight training. He was in single engine jet training and refused to carrier qualify. The Navy was in the process of kicking him out of flight training when word came from Washington that he did not have to C.Q. if he didn't want to. He completed training and was assigned to a shore based composite squadron that did utility work such as towing targets.

Dixie did not do their homework and hired him when he got out of the Navy. Before long, he was sickening out every time Dixie called him for a trip. He became the only Dixie pilot who had to have a doctor's excuse for being sick. Once Dixie got disability pay, Lopez went on it, receiving one half pay. The Lopez family had plenty of money that was probably stolen from the Cuban people. Durio had several business interests in Atlanta and did not need his Dixie salary.

One would have thought that Lopez would be appreciative and grateful for the opportunity his adopted country gave him. Instead all he did was to take advantage of the system and abuse it.

Fifty-Nine

In 1986, Dixie bought Western Air Lines. Western was more compatible with Dixie than Northeast. The pilot's seniority list was merged without too much trouble or complaining. Western operated hubs in Los Angeles, Salt Lake City, and Seattle. As Northeast brought the 727 to Dixie, Western brought the 737. Western also brought a few weak sisters with it since it merged with Pacific Northern Air Lines (PNA) in the late 1960s.

Bud and several other training department instructors are sent to Los Angeles to conduct training on Western's simulators. Dixie eventually disposed of some of the former Western simulators and moved the rest to Atlanta. Western had an extensive route system to Alaska that it had acquired from Pacific Northern. A special pilot qualification was required to fly into Juneau and pilots were recertified every year in the simulator. Bud was sent to Juneau as an extra crewmember to observe the operation. Bud went up there in January where he spent the night. The next morning Bud looks at the weather and it was colder in Atlanta that morning than it was in Juneau!

Bud is called in to act as captain for a former Western pilot who is having trouble checking out as 727 copilot. A relatively new instructor is conducting the training. The copilot does fairly well until he gets close to minimums and then everything goes to hell in a hand basket. Bud wonders what is he doing and watches the copilot fly the approach real close. Bud discovers that the copilot is taking his eyes off of the primary flight instrument, the artificial horizon, while adjusting the throttles. Bud jumps in and takes over the training. He tells the copilot that he can't do that – nobody can! You have to keep 100% of your attention on the artificial horizon and change the throttles without looking at them. The copilot does better but Dixie finally tells him to go back to flight engineer and get some more pilot time on the side. It turns out that the copilot's father is a former Northeast pilot now working for Dixie. Dixie has a strict nepotism policy. When Dixie announced the merger with Western, the father used his influence to get his son, a civilian trained pilot, a job with Western. The word was that the father was mad at Dixie for not getting his son through training. It's not Dixie's fault that his son can't fly!

Bud trains two former PNA pilots. One was known as _Bullethead_ among his Western buddies - either because of his shaved head or because he had lead between his ears. _Bullethead_ busted his semiannual check ride and Bud was called in to give him some additional training. _Bullethead_ is all over the sky on his engine failure on takeoff – it looks like a monkey trying to fuck a football! Bud tells him that he is to use the flight director on every takeoff and when he gets to 1000 ft. above the ground to put on the altitude hold, retract the flaps, and then call for the engine failure checklist. _Bullethead_ starts doing some acceptable engine cut takeoffs. Bud then goes on to something else for a while. Bud puts _Bullethead_ back in the takeoff position but he does not have the flight director on. Bud says nothing. He gets an engine failure and is all over the sky again. Bud freezes the simulator.

Bud then tells _Bullethead_ : "When you did it my way, your engine cuts were pretty good. Right? When you do them your way – not so good. Which way do you want to do them, your way or my way?"

_Bullethead_ responds: "Your way!"

Later Bud gives a rating ride to another former PNA pilot. He was not the ace of space by any means, but he did everything in a satisfactory manner. Later Bud is told that they were really worried about him passing the rating ride – it could go either way. Bud said he did good today. That is an instructor's greatest fear. To pass a marginal pilot and later the guy crashes an airplane.

Western had another legendary captain who was one of those guys who would say anything to anybody. The story goes that he arrived in the cockpit for a trip and finds he has a black copilot and a female flight engineer who just happened to be the daughter of a known Hollywood actor.

He says: "Well, it looks like I am going to get a shoe shine and a blow job on this trip."

The female flight engineer, who had a sense of humor, says: "I got the shoe shine!"

The first leg of the trip is from Los Angeles to Phoenix.

Halfway there, the captain gets up to use the bathroom and tells the black copilot: "You're head nigger while I'm gone."

The copilot did not find this amusing, so when the flight arrived in Phoenix he called the chief pilot back in LA and complained. The next leg was back to LA. The chief pilot met the flight when it arrived, took the captain aside, and chewed him out for his remark. The flight continued on and sometime later, the captain has to use the bathroom again.

This time he tells the female flight engineer: "Your head nigger while I'm gone. He doesn't want to be!"

Bud also trained another interesting Western pilot. This guy was a pilot in the Yugoslavian Air Force who defected to Vienna in a MIG 17. He eventually came to the United States. Since he was also checked out on the MIG 21, he helped write the English version of the MIG 21 flight manual for the U.S. and married an American girl. After the manual was completed, the government got him a job with Western. He said that the MIG-21 was overrated. It was only an interceptor that could not carry any ordnance of any significance.

Bud also became aware of one of the lifestyles of Western pilots based in Los Angeles. It seems that quite a few of them had a common marital history. The pilots would fall for some younger flight attendant and divorce their first wife. The divorce from wife #1 cost them one half of their financial assets. The marriage to the flight attendant lasted about eight years. The second divorce cost them one half of their remaining assets. The end result of all of this was that the impoverished pilot wound up spending his retirement living in a trailer out in the desert! _It is cheaper to keep her!_

Sixty

The Southeastern United States is one of the most intense thunderstorm areas in the world. It is a known fact in aviation that thunderstorms have the tendency to take some of the fun out of flying. While it is pleasurable to view the magnificence of a thunderstorm from a distance, it is no fun to fly into one. Bud is flying a turnaround one evening to Hartford, Connecticut and back to Atlanta. As Bud is taxing out for takeoff his flight is allowed to go in front of several other flights that are heading northwest. They are being held because of severe weather to the northwest. The flight plan takes him via Knoxville. Bud reaches the line of thunderstorms near Knoxville and has to divert to the east. On the return flight to Atlanta, Bud can see the thunderstorms to the west. They start getting closer and closer to Atlanta and it keeps looking worse and worse. The night sky to the west is literally on fire. Finally, Bud is switched over to the Atlanta tower. He can see the lights of the terminal and hopes they can get on the ground before it hits. Bud is making an approach to the west runway on the northern side of the airport. Other flights are making approaches to the west runway on the southern side of the airport while the line of thunderstorm is situated from the southwest to the northeast. The tower does not have good news. They tell Bud that the winds are all over the place and the last aircraft that landed recommended that no one else should try. That was enough for Bud and he tells the tower that they are going to go-around. Bud wants to turn south and avoid the weather, but that is impossible because of the other airplanes making approaches on the southern side of the airport. The tower tells Bud to turn north and climb to 3,500 ft. – right into the thunderstorms. The flight is getting bounced around pretty good. The radar controller finally turns the flight to the east and after a while the aircraft breaks into the clear. Bud's flight is vectored around east of the airport until the weather passes. There is a further delay because part of the airport terminal roof has been blown off by a tornado and the runway must be checked for debris.

After a while, the flight is vectored back to the airport and an uneventful landing made.

As the crew is exiting the aircraft, the gate agent said: "One of the passengers said the pilots must have been drunk – the plane was bouncing around all over the place. Personally, I think you all should have gotten a medal tonight. If you want to see something, go down to Gate 4."

The crew walks down to gate 4 and sees that a 727 that weighs 100,000 pounds empty, has been blown sideways while sitting at the gate. The airport is a complete mess. Baggage carts had been blown into airplanes, airplanes had been damaged all over the airport, and a tornado touched down just north of the airport. Amazingly, no one got hurt.

On another flight to Charleston, South Carolina, the tower leads Bud down the garden path. Approaching the airport, Bud's flight is given the following weather report: "Thunderstorm over the airport, visibility one and a half miles, wind north at 10 mph - no mention of rain. Doesn't sound too bad! With the copilot flying, the flight is given a VOR approach to the 7,000 foot- long runway 3. The crew sights the end of the runway with the black storm in the background from over three miles away. As the copilot is flaring for touchdown, Bud looks up and sees a wall of water. Bud extends the speedbrakes and puts the aircraft on the runway. The aircraft then rolls into the rain. It is raining so hard, visibility is nil. With engines at maximum reverse, Bud gets on the brakes. The wheels are hydroplaning on the water, and the antiskid system starts chattering indicating no braking. Reverse thrust is supposed to be terminated below 100 knots. Since Bud has no idea how much runway is left and has no brakes, he stays on the reverse. The engines then have compressor stalls or backfires. The aircraft finally exits the rain. There was about 1500 ft. of runways left. Bud did not know that at the time. Everyone is shook up - Bud and the crew for trying to avoid going off the end of the runway plus the passengers from the compressor stalls. Bud taxis the aircraft to the ramp. Charleston at that time is still operating out of the old terminal on the northeast side of the airport. There are no jetways and passengers must use portable stairs and walk across the ramp to the terminal. There is about four inches of water on the ramp so the passengers have to be kept on the airplane. All Bud had to do was circle around a little until the thunderstorm passed the airport. He blames the tower for not giving him the entire picture of what was going on. Fortunately, none of the passengers wrote a bad letter to Dixie complaining that Bud had scared the shit out of them! You can't trust anyone in this business!

Sixty-One

The Training Department is in a buzz. A Dixie 727 bound for Tampa International Airport landed by mistake at MacDill Air Force Base, eight miles to the south. The novice may wonder how in the world can an airliner land at the wrong airport. The answer is, _apparently easily_ , since it has been done enough times. Bud is aware of at least seven wrong airport landings by Dixie alone! The majority of the wrong airport landings occur at night to smaller airports. Before Bud joined Dixie, a DC-7 bound for Jackson, Mississippi mistakenly landed in Yazoo City at night. A group of pilots were sitting around operations talking about the incident and one captain remarked: "How could anyone be so stupid?" Less than a month later, he would do exactly the same thing! Two years later, a Convair 880 bound for Jackson mistakenly landed at Jackson's Hawkins Field.

After Bud joined Dixie, a DC-9 bound for Alexandria, Louisiana landed instead at Pollack Field, an old WW II airport on the other side of town. Landing at the wrong airport is bad enough, but the one thing you do not want to do is to takeoff and attempt to cover up your mistake. The FAA considers that an unsafe operation and will really burn you.

Bud runs into the copilot on the flight which landed at MacDill. He said they were being vectored for a visual approach. As the aircraft exited the overcast in a turn, they were lined up perfectly with this runway and they went ahead and landed. Unfortunately, it was the wrong airport.

Years later, a Dixie 737 was dodging thunderstorms en route to Lexington, Kentucky around midnight. The FAA was on an economy kick and Lexington's approach control and tower were closed for the night. The flight landed instead at Frankfort, 24 miles to the northwest. As a result of this, the FAA kept the tower and approach control open at Lexington until the last airline flight landed.

The craziest incident occurred in the 1990s. A Northwest DC-10 bound for Frankfort, Germany landed instead in Brussels, Belgium. Air traffic control mistakenly cleared and vectored the flight to the wrong airport that wasn't even in the same country! Surely, the pilots must have known where they were supposed to be going? Must have been some kind of group brain fart!

Sixty-Two

The training department makes a pay policy change. Bud had been getting paid B-767 pay as a 727 instructor. The new policy is that instructors will only get 767 pay if they are an instructor on the wide-bodied – either the 767 or the L1011. Bud decides to move up to the L1011.

Bud is in 1011 ground school with another captain, two copilots, and two flight engineers. The other captain had been on a medical leave of absence or sick leave for some time due to high blood pressure. At the end of ground school, the captain students have to take an oral exam. Bud suggests to the other captain that they get together and do some studying before the oral. Bud and the other captain meet and Bud is shocked at how little this other captain knows. Well the day for the oral finally arrives and Bud runs into this other captain on the way to take his oral. He is in a panic and his face is flushed. He tells Bud that he is going to the company's nurse. It turns out that this captain's blood pressure is sky high. He does not take the oral, goes back to his home in Florida and goes back on sick leave. Bud suspects that he may have a drinking problem.

Bud goes through the 1011 simulator syllabus and the day finally arrives for his rating ride. The rating ride is being administered by a Dixie instructor who is going to be observed and re-certified by an FAA inspector, the notorious Pat Ryan. Ryan is a former Air Force pilot who could not get a job with the airlines and took a job with the FAA instead. He has absolutely no sense of humor and sees things only in black and white – no gray areas. Pat did not have too many friends. First, his wife divorced him. He was in the Air Force Reserve along with several airline pilots. When these airline pilots told Pat in confidence about some of the violations and things that they had done and observed on their respective airlines, Pat reported these incidents to the FAA. He then got ostracized and treated like a leper by his Reserve unit. He had previously been on the Dixie 727 and had turned that program upside down becoming a feared terror in the process. When Dixie's head FAA inspector on the 1011 was promoted to head FAA inspector in Atlanta, Pat moved up to the 1011. Once he got to the 1011, he went to his boss and told him that he wanted to make some changes on the 1011.

His boss, the former head of the 1011 program, tells him: "No! I set up the 1011 program and it is perfect!"

Strike one for Pat. Pat goes on for a while and can't stand it. He comes back to his boss and asks again to change the 1011 program. Once again his boss says no! Strike two for Pat. The FAA and Dixie have an understanding in regards to rating and check rides – no bullshit or off the wall procedures. All of the procedures must be mutually agreed upon and done in an immaculate manner. Well, towards the end of Bud's rating ride, Pat tells the instructor to give Bud one of these unapproved problems. The Dixie instructor does not have the balls to object. Bud knows exactly what they are doing and he handles the problem. After the rating ride, Bud is pissed. He first walks up one floor to Dixie's 1011 program manager and tells him what happened. Getting no satisfaction there, Bud walks up another floor and tells what happened to the Chief Instructor who tells Bud he will take care of it. Strike three for Pat and he is out! He gets replaced and is given a job doing paperwork. Although most Dixie pilots do not know it, they have Bud Shuler to thank for finally getting rid of Pat Ryan.

It just so happens that giving non-approved problems on rating rides in one of Bud's pet peeves. Earlier, Bud had trained a pilot up to his rating ride which was given by another instructor. After the ride, Bud asked his student how it went. The student said he missed one thing. The instructor had failed a second engine and wanted the student to go to a lower flap setting. Bud is pissed off!

A short time later, the 727 pilots are having a meeting. Bud launches into the instructor who gave his student this unapproved maneuver.

Bud: "What is this bullshit about failing a second engine on an engine-out engine approach?"

The other instructor: "I wanted to see if he knew to go from 15 to 5 flaps."

Bud: "It's not your job to see if he knew to go from 15 to 5 flaps. It's your job to see that the rating ride is performed in an immaculate manner. Anything else is your private agenda. Plus there are three things wrong with it. First, you are not supposed to be doing that. Second, it makes the student feel bad because he screwed something up. And third, it makes me feel bad because I did not prepare him well enough. You can bet your sweet ass that a student is never going to miss that again because every instructor will give that problem to his student in training. So what have you accomplished now?"

No one said anything. They all knew Bud was right. After the meeting another instructor came up to Bud who was standing around talking to a few other instructors.

He said: "Bud doesn't normally have too much to say, but when he does it is worth listening to."

A few months later Bud is flying the line. He is sitting at the gate in Atlanta waiting for departure time on a flight to Ft. Lauderdale. The gate agent tells Bud that a Dixie mechanic from Ft. Lauderdale wants to talk to him. Bud tells him to send him in. The mechanic tells Bud that he has been trying to non-revenue or fly space available to Ft. Lauderdale for two days but all the flights have been full with revenue passengers and he needs to be back at work tomorrow. He asks if Bud will let him ride on the cockpit jump seat.

Bud tells the mechanic: "Do you know what is going to happen to me if I get caught with a non-authorized person on my jumpseat?"

No response from the mechanic.

"Well, for starters I am going to get a bad report in my record and then they are going to give me a month off with no pay. Are you going to compensate me for my lost month of pay?"

Still no response from the mechanic .

Bud finishes up with the following: "I would really like to help you if it was up to me, but I don't make up the rules around this man's airline. I am sorry but I just can't help you." End of conversation.

Sixty-Three

On January 19, 1991, Eastern Air Lines shut down. Although Eastern was Dixie's biggest competitor out of Atlanta, Bud is saddened that so many of his Eastern friends and neighbors have had their lives turned upside down. This was a great windfall for Dixie since its competition in the Atlanta market was reduced to practically zero. Dixie bought 10 of Eastern's L-1011s. The first time Bud saw an Eastern L-1011 cockpit, he was shocked. It was a barebones operation and everything had to be done manually. Dixie's L-1011s, on the other hand, were equipped with a Flight Management System(FMS) like all present day airliners. The FMS provides point to point air navigation and various power settings management. All a pilot has to do is to tell the machine what he wants it to do and it is done automatically.

Then we come to the sad case of Pan American World Airways. On January 8, 1991, Pan Am declared bankruptcy. In hope of keeping afloat as a much smaller airline, Pan Am held a fire sale of its assets. One faction of Dixie's management wanted to let Pan Am collapse and then pick up the pieces. The other faction, led by CEO Alan Davis, prevailed by buying most of Pan Am's trans-Atlantic routes, the terminal at New York's Kennedy airport, the East Coast shuttle, the Frankfurt Germany hub, plus several B-727s and Airbus A-310s for a whopping $1.4 billion.

Along with the A-310s and 727s, the Pan Am pilots of those aircraft also came over to Dixie. Pan Am senior B-747 pilots complained about not being allowed to come over to Dixie. Pan Am then retrained 30 senior 747 pilots in either the 727 or A-310 to come to Dixie. These pilots became known as the "Dirty Thirty" among the Pan Am pilots they displaced. Although Pam Am was very selective in its hiring practices, Dixie scrutinized the Pan Am pilots again by investigation and interviews. Dixie asked all the Pan Am pilots it was taking if they had ever had a DUI. If the pilot said that he had, Dixie would take him. If the pilot said that he hadn't ever had a DUI and Dixie later discovered that in fact he had, those pilots were not taken or terminated. This happened in several cases. Several of Bud's buddies from the Navy who had gone to Pan Am came over to Dixie. One former squadron mate was initially taken but soon thereafter terminated. The guy said he had no idea why.

Dixie replaced Pan Am's 727s in Europe with Dixie 727s. Dixie instructors from the training department got the job of ferrying these airplanes to Europe. Routing was from Atlanta to Frankfurt with refueling stops in Newfoundland and Iceland. Bud would have loved to have done this and regretted that he had gone to the 1011 when he did.

Pan Am hung on until December 4, 1991 when it closed its doors. The world's pioneer in transoceanic flying was gone. A victim of mismanagement and government policy of giving prime international routes to other U. S, airlines – Dixie included. The year of 1991 was a bad year for the airlines. Two of the icons of U. S. airlines, Eastern and Pan Am went out of business. Eddie Rickenbacker and Juan Trippe must have rolled over in their graves!

Ashley and Ava came shopping in Atlanta and stayed with Bud and Fanny. Bud notices that his middle son Matt, 17 years old, flirting and spending a lot of time with Ava, now 16 and a real looker. Ava is a majorette, a beauty queen like her mother and a knockout. Bud can't wait to get Ashley alone.

Bud: "Ash, have you noticed the same thing that I have."

Ashley: "Yes. Aren't they cute? They remind me of you and me."

Bud: "Yea, they are cute. They even look a little alike and there is a damn good reason for that! For Christ's Sake, they are brother and sister! We are going to have to put a stop to this!"

Ashley: "You're right of course. We are going to have to keep them separated and make sure they don't go to the same college together."

A couple of months later, Matt asked Bud: "Dad, can I invite Ava to go to the beach with us this summer."

Bud: "Let me talk to your mother."

Instead, Bud called Ashley. Ashley sent Ava to a conversational French school in France for the summer. Ava had asked to go to France earlier with some friends and a chaperone, but Ashley initially thought she was too young. Now she agreed to the trip whether she liked it or not.

God knows Ashley could afford it. Jim had been well off from an inheritance and had been heavily insured to boot. Ashley still had her job and was making over six figures. Ashley and Gracie were also heiresses and would eventually inherit a small fortune from their parents.

Bud said to Ashley: "Ash, you are so loaded, I might have to divorce Fanny and marry you for your money."

Ashley: "Promises, promises!"

Disaster is avoided. Matt fell for some other girl that summer and lost interest in Ava.

Maybe he was being paranoid, but Bud had his suspicions that Fanny knew what was going on between him and Ashley. She might even suspect who Ava's father was. If one looked close enough at Ava, they could see a little bit of Bud in her. With Jim's passing, Ava and Bud maintained a father and daughter type relationship. Fanny was nobody's fool. Fanny, never the jealous type, is possibly keeping her own counsel and allowing Bud to have his diversion - maybe her way of paying Bud back for the divorce.

Sixty-Four

Bud has decided to leave the training department after 14 years. He has maxed out his earnings in the training department and can make more money flying the line. In addition, the training department has become more monotonous. Dixie has gotten approval to eliminate training flights. All training is done in the simulator except for new copilots. Since the 1011 only gets experienced copilots, there are no 1011 training flights – it's all simulator and very boring.

When Bud first decided to become an instructor, he intended on doing it for only a year. However, he got hooked on the lifestyle. In the last 14 years, Bud has never been away for a birthday, anniversary, little league ball game, Thanksgiving, or Christmas. He has always had a summer vacation and slept in his own bed most of the time. It was also a lot easier to hook up with Ashley when he was in the training department.

Bud goes to L1011 international school. Things have changed a lot in the 25 years since Bud crossed the Atlantic in the C-130. The world's airlines operate approximately 400 flights daily between North America and Europe. All the passenger flights to Europe depart late afternoon and early evening so as to arrive in Europe in the morning. This allows passengers time to make connections to other inter-European flights or utilize ground transportation to their final destination. Air traffic over the North Atlantic is controlled by two Air Traffic Control agencies – Gander Center, in Newfoundland, Canada and Shanwick Center in Shannon, Ireland and Prestwick, Scotland – the boundary between Gander and Shanwick is longitude 30 West. For eastbound flights, Gander Center will analyze the winds and create six tracks, 30 miles apart, as the day's routes. These tracks are sent to the airlines whose computers select the desired tracks and create a flight plan. Gander then must sort the flights as to speed and altitude requested. It is common for flights to have their requested track changed. Westbound flights depart Europe late in the morning and arrive late in the afternoon.

Airborne navigation has also dramatically changed. Dixie's international L-1011's are equipped with three INSs or Inertial Navigation System. INSs were initially developed for rockets. They were later modified for use in aircraft, are rectangular shaped, and about a square foot in size. Besides a computer, INS's have super sensitive gyros that sense any movement. They must be told where they are initially and the operators must place the present latitude and longitude into the system. The INS is so sensitive that if the operator puts in the incorrect latitude, the INS will reject it. The earth spins faster at the equator than it does at the poles and the INS can detect this. Besides simplifying and making navigation more accurate, the INSs also eliminated the need for navigators.

In ground school, the instructor is going over the INS and states that they can be as much as three miles off on a transatlantic flight. Bud, the old navigator, recalls days being lost on the C-118, thinks this is pretty good! The ground school lasts about a week and ends with a written test. Bud, the only captain in the class, finishes the test first to the amazement of the other students. Bud missed one question.

The next step to getting internationally qualified is a European trip with a line-check airman who shows you the ropes and checks you out. All flights to Europe are all-nighters. Arriving early in the morning, the first task on hand is to prepare yourself for the return flight. Dixie contracts with the hotels for a certain amount of rooms. The incoming crew arrives at the hotel while the outbound crew have already left for the airport. The arriving crews sometimes have to wait in the lobby until their rooms are cleaned. Once you get to your room, the urge is to take an eight-hour sleep. However, if you do that, you will not be able to sleep that night. So the crews have found by experience, that the thing to do is take about a three-hour nap and force yourself to get up. When that alarm clock goes off, you don't know what planet you're on let alone what country! You then find something to do for a few hours have dinner and try to go to bed. One of the popular over-the-counter drugs to help induce sleep are anti-histamines. Some crewmembers still have problems sleeping.

Bud shows up for one flight and finds that one of his old girlfriends is the head flight attendant. Bud and she had had a fling over 20 years ago. Since then she has since been married, divorced and has not aged very well. Bud keeps his mouth shut and does not mention his relationship with her to the rest of the pilot crew. Another flight attendant comes to the cockpit. She says that during the head flight attendants briefing to the rest of the flight attendants she announced that we are flying today with the first Dixie pilot I had an affair with. After that girl left, Bud told the rest of his crew: "Well, I know she looks like hell now but 20 years ago she was OK." The copilot diplomatically and graciously allows that he can see that this was the case.

Bud has his first international trip with a female copilot. Dixie hired its first woman pilot in the 1970s. Most were good pilots, but a few were not. In their blind haste to become diversified, airline management was not real selective in whom they hired. This particular female pilot was an ex-Western pilot and turned out to be one the worse copilots Bud has ever flown with. Western was particularly lax in which females they hired. Bud is flying the first leg to Frankfurt. When the flight coasts out from Newfoundland, several radio procedures are supposed to be accomplished. Bud looks down after about an hour and she has failed to do the proper procedures.

After arriving at the airport for the flight back to the U. S., the pilots get together in operations and do the flight planning. At the Frankfurt airport, Bud starts the flight planning. She is nowhere in sight. She shows up about 15 minutes later as Bud has about finished the paper work. She says: "I don't know what I was thinking. I went out to the airplane with the flight attendants."

Bud is on reserve and gets assigned to pick up a trip in New York. It so happened that the captain got sick and Bud was his replacement. Bud deadheads to New York and is in operations going over the flight plan when she sticks her head in the cubicle. Bud knows why the captain got sick- he had to fly with her! This will be Bud's first trip to Paris, but she says that she has been there before. Well, some way or other Bud makes it to Paris with her pathetic assistance. As he is taxing up to the gate, he wonders if the gendarmes will be waiting to arrest him.

During this trip, she mentions that she is close to being captain.

Bud thinks to himself: _That'll be the day when you make captai_ n.

Well, this female copilot starts running afoul of the captains and the chief pilot takes a closer look at her. After she fails a couple of check rides, Dixie takes her off the line. If she was a white male pilot, she would have been fired. Rather than face the expense and bad publicity of a sexual discrimination lawsuit, Dixie pays her full salary to sit home and do nothing. Dixie eventually has several female pilots in the same situation.

Other than the working hours, international flying is good. All of the layovers are good. On London trips the crews are put up in a hotel at Brighton on the Channel. Frankfurt trips layover in Mainz at a Hilton on the Rhine River. There are lots of other airline crews who layover at the Hilton including Air Canada and South African Airways. The hotel features a Happy Hour that is attended mostly by the crews. On one occasion, Bud is standing at the bar with a little twit Dixie flight attendant.

When the bartender asked her what she would like, she replied: "A Miller Light."

Bud burst out laughing. He asked the girl: "Have you ever heard of the expression _Carrying coal to Newcastle_? ''

After she replied in the negative, Bud explained: "All of the coal in England comes out of Newcastle, so no one would ever take any there. Here you are in the world's greatest beer producing country so do you think they would import beer from the U.S.?"

She looks at Bud like he is crazy. They did not have any Miller Light! There are lots of great restaurants frequented by the crews in Mainz. Bud's favorite is Margos. They have a great _Schwein Hoxen_ (pig knuckle) and the best _Kuken Schnitzel_ (chicken cutlet) Bud has ever had. No one ever had a bad meal in Mainz!

A lot of international trips are six days in length. A flight will go from Atlanta to Frankfurt, Frankfurt to New York, back to Frankfurt, and finally home to Atlanta. Bud gets one of these six days trips. After flying from Atlanta to Frankfurt, the next day the flight is from Frankfurt to San Francisco. This is the longest flight Bud has ever flown – 5,000 nautical miles. The flight westbound was Great Circle route over southern Greenland and Hudson's Bay to San Francisco. The return flight to Frankfurt was flight planned to the south to pick up the strongest tailwinds. The flight was routed from San Francisco to Boston and then entered the stream with the other flights to Europe.

Bud draws another six-day trip but this one is via London, Detroit, London, and Atlanta. The flight-plan from Detroit to London is a little over six hours making it Bud's quickest transatlantic crossing. Ironically, both the Frankfurt-San Francisco and Detroit-London flights were former Pan routes and would be halted by Dixie. The Frankfurt- San Francisco flight was dropped and the London-Detroit flight was sold to Northwest Airlines.

Bud had an interesting experience on another former Pan Am flight from Frankfurt to Orlando. The copilot was flying and right after liftoff, the cockpit lit up with warning lights. The hydraulic systems that operated the landing gear among other items failed. The tower called the flight and informed it that one of the engines was smoking more than normal on takeoff. Bud has only one option – return for landing – he declares an emergency. Bud needed to dump fuel before he could return for landing and asked permission from air traffic control (ATC). For environmental reasons, ATC requests fuel dumping above 20,000 ft. The problem is that the aircraft cannot reach that altitude with the gear down. Bud informs ATC of the situation and receives permission to dump fuel at the present altitude. Bud is handling this emergency as it should be done. He is managing the emergency and making decisions while the copilot is doing the flying. The flight is finally vectored around for landing. Bud lets the copilot make the landing. One of the other systems inoperative was the nose wheel steering. Using differential braking, Bud manages to clear the runway and get out of the way. He stops on the taxiway and shuts down the engines. Maintenance puts locking pins into the landing gear and the flight is towed to the gate. Airport authorities meanwhile had videotaped the landing.

Bud never heard anything more about this incident. Granted he was only doing his job, but he did it very well by not damaging the aircraft further or injuring any passengers. Bud recons that when someone does a good job, it should be recognized. If he subsequently screws up something else, his _attaboys_ should be considered against his _dumb-shits_.

Bud wonders why Dixie, or any other airline, merges or buys another airline in the first place. In 1953, Dixie merged with Memphis based Chicago and Southern Airlines (C & S). C & S routes were concentrated in the Mississippi Valley between Chicago, Memphis, Houston, and New Orleans with extensions to Jamaica, Venezuela, and Puerto Rica out of New Orleans. All of that is now gone. In 1972, Dixie bought Northeast Airlines. Northeast's main hub was in Boston with routes up to northern New England and down the East Coast to Florida. Most of the Boston hub has now been abandoned. In 1986, Dixie bought Western Airlines with hubs in Seattle, Salt Lake City, and Los Angeles. The Seattle hub with destinations in Alaska were abandoned as well as the Los Angeles hub. Dixie is not the only airline to make a mistake. Pan Am bought National Airlines in 1980, paid too much for it, and proceeded to mismanage a perfectly good airline's routes. The debt acquired by the National acquisition was a big factor in Pan Am's demise. Likewise, Dixie's Alan Davis paid too much for Pan Am's assets ($1.4 billion) and did not do his homework. Dixie paid for some of Pan Am assets that did not exist or were owned by someone else. Dixie eventually abandoned many of Pan Am's former routes as well as the hub in Frankfurt. One good example of Dixie's failure to properly analyze its purchase was Pan Am's routes from Frankfurt to Delhi and Mumbai (Bombay) India. Pan Am would come out of Delhi in a B-747 and fly the most direct route to Frankfurt over Afghanistan. Dixie does not have any 747s so they were flying the route with the 1011. Dixie cannot fly over Afghanistan because a 1011 cannot maintain enough altitude to cross the mountains if an engine is lost. So Dixie has to flight plan an hour longer south around the mountains. Who wants to fly Dixie when Lufthansa and Air India can get you there an hour earlier? Therefore, the Frankfurt-Delhi route is dropped. It would appear that airlines develop individual cultures and expertise that do not transfer well to other airlines.

Sixty-Five

Dixie also has its share of flight attendants who are characters. One in particular was Bobbi Wilson. Bobbi was originally from England and could curse and tell dirty jokes with the best of them. It seems that she had a trip to San Francisco with a flight engineer who was fairly new. On the way out there, she tells the flight engineer that if he will buy her dinner when they get there she will give him a little pussy. When they finally get there, the flight engineer wines and dines her.

On the elevator back at the hotel, she says to him: "You know, I lied to you. I don't have a little pussy. I have a great big pussy." When they get to her floor, she shakes hands with him and says good night.

Years earlier, Bud was flying a trip with a copilot who thought he was God's gift to women. This rather attractive flight attendant comes into the copilot and the copilot says: "I'd sure like to get into your pants."

The quick thinking girl replied: "Why? There is one asshole in there already." The copilot was rather quiet for the rest of the trip. Bud could imagine Ashley coming up with a response like that!

Dixie inherited from Western one of the oldest flight attendants in the airline industry – 70 years old! She is alleged to come into the cockpit on one flight and introduce herself to the crew. She then asks the captain and the copilot what they wanted to drink.

She then turned to the very young looking flight engineer, pinched him on the cheek, and said; "And I am just going to nurse you!"

When Bud was hired by Dixie in 1966, the age limit to be hired as a pilot was 32. That changed with the Age Discrimination Act of 1975, although it took some time to make its impact on the airlines. As a result, Dixie and the other airlines started hiring retired military pilots. This was a great deal for the retired military pilots since they were getting their military retirement pay and could fly with the airlines for approximately another 18 years. Some of these pilots had retired as colonels and Bud always liked kidding around with them. They were fairly junior on the airline and were second officers (flight engineers).

Bud: "Colonel, how about getting me a cup of coffee with a sweetener and a dash of cream."

There were shoeshine kits in all of the pilot's lounges that pilots used when they had some sitting around to do.

Bud would kid the ex-colonels: "Hey Colonel, how about giving me a shoeshine!"

At that time, the FAA mandated that an airline pilot must retire at the age of 60. Second officers on the other hand could continue in that capacity until 65. Other airlines began allowing retired captains to move down to flight engineer for another five years. There were generally two reasons for this. Some guys were not ready to retire while others needed the money. Dixie resisted this as long as possible fearing cockpit conflicts but finally caved in. They were known as _ROPES – Real Old Pilot Engineers_. Bud had a former Pan Am 747 captain, one of Pan Am's most senior pilots, as a flight engineer on a trip. Bud could not have asked for a better attitude. He didn't try to take over the airplane or tell Bud what to do. He was happy to stay in the background and to do his mundane job as flight engineer. He addressed Bud as _Captain._

A stewardess told Bud an anecdote that was hard to believe. _The truth is stranger than fiction_. The girl said that she flew with this new stewardess who was obviously not too intelligent. The new girl told her that a pilot bought her dinner on a layover. When they got back to the hotel, the pilot said that she had to go to bed with him because he bought her dinner – she believed him and went to bed with him!

There are other flight attendants who have a high opinion of themselves. Bud had a flight heading to Los Angeles. Towards the end of the flight, a flight attendant came into the cockpit and in the course of her conversation, bitched about how much salary she made compared to Bud's.

Bud said: "I'll tell you what. You land this big SOB in Los Angeles and I will go to the back and pick up the glasses and trash in the cabin before landing."

She left the cockpit in a huff.

On another occasion, another flight attendant was talking about her husband getting his pilot's ratings.

She made the mistake of adding: "But he is getting his the hard way."

Her husband was getting trained by the civilian sector and paying for it himself rather than being trained by the military.

Bud spoke up: "I have a few friends lying dead in Vietnam that might disagree with you on that one."

Sixty-Six

Fanny and Bud's neighbors, the Tillys, had been Fanny and Bud's neighbors since they moved into their house. Mrs. Tilly came down with cancer and died about 18 years later.

About six months later, Bud gets home from a trip and finds Fanny literally jumping up and down. "You will never guess what happened! Mr. Tilly came over here the other day, grabbed me and kissed me on the lips!"

Bud laughs: "What do you want me to do? Go next door and beat him up or challenge him to a duel?"

Fanny replies: "It's not funny! I don't know what to do!"

Bud says: "Why don't you just ignore it. Besides, a 50-year old tennis playing woman can run faster with her skirt up than a 75-year old man with a heart condition and his pants down!"

For the next several months, Mr. Tilly is over at the house every time Bud is off flying. Fanny keeps her distance and does not let him get within an arm's reach of her. Of course, Fanny gives Bud a full report of every instance. On one occasion, Fanny took Bud's car to run an errand. Mr. Tilly is over to the house in a flash. You should have seen the look on his face when Bud answered the door.

Bud declares: "There is no fool like an old fool!"

Since Mr. Tilly is not getting to first base, he tries a new tact. He gives Fanny's and Bud's children $50 apiece for Christmas. This must have been quite a sacrifice for Mr. Tilly since he still had the first dollar he ever made. Fanny's friends find out about the situation and find it very funny as well. One friend even sends Fanny a Valentine card and signs it with Mr. Tilly's first name, Houston.

Fanny and Bud are at a friend's 50th birthday party and Fanny is telling the Mr. Tilly story to a group of amused women.

Fanny sums the situation up with: "And all Bud does is laugh about it!"

An older widow woman speaks up to Fanny: "Well, what would you do if a 75-year old woman was chasing him?"

Fanny honestly replies: "Probably laugh about it. But, I don't know why a 75-year old woman or any other woman would possibly want him."

The older woman comes back: "Don't kid yourself honey. There are lots of women who would love to have a man like him with the job that he has. As a matter of fact, there is probably one in the bushes right now!"

Later Bud talks to the older woman alone. "I really appreciated your defense, but you are going to get me in more trouble than I am already in!" Bud is thinking that nobody can put a woman in her place like another woman!

Mr. Tilly finally gives up and gets a widowed girlfriend closer to his age named Gertie. Bud really admired Mr. Tilly and Gertie's relationship. Gertie had her own place and took care of her house, her car, and her family. She would come out to Mr. Tilly's house for a few days and then go home and take care of her house, her car, and her family. Mr. Tilly had a motor home and they would take trips together. When they returned, Gertie went home and took care of her house, her car, and her family. Bud considered this a perfect relationship - especially after two of his friends' recent divorces. It was the second marriage for both friends as well as their wives. These marriages failed. Not because of lack of love between the partners but because of their children from the previous marriages.

"You don't do the same for my children as you do for your children!"

Duh! "Don't your children have a father too?"

Bud was telling some of his crew on a layover about Mr. Tilly and Gertie.

One flight attendant said: "That is nothing! I have two friends on their second marriages and they still live in separate houses!"

That has to be the perfect relationship!

Sixty-Seven

Bud and that _woman in the bushes_ were still going strong. Ashley did not have to work, but did so to have an excuse to come to Atlanta. She did not work as much as she used to and on occasion met Bud when he had a long layover somewhere after Ava was in college.

With Jim's passing, Bud had become Ava's surrogate father – or that was how it was supposed to look to the rest of the world. In fact, he acted like the father he was. He did a good job of it too and attended all the big events in Ava's life. Ava followed in her mother's footsteps as a majorette and beauty queen at Auburn.

Bud tires of flying 1011 international reserve and bids back to domestic flying. He never got to fly his dream trip from Atlanta to Hawaii. In the domestic category, at least he is flying a decent trip and enjoying a better lifestyle. Dixie goes on another economic rampage and offers early retirement to the senior maintenance people that include the skilled 1011 experts. Someone predicts that this is going to be OK for about six months but after that everything is going to go to hell in a hand basket. Was that ever a prophetic statement! About six months later, 1011s start breaking down all over the system. That particular month, Bud does not fly one three day-trip as scheduled due to 1011 mechanical problems.

Bud is laying over in Los Angeles and gets a call in the morning from operations informing him that his flight to Cincinnati that afternoon has been cancelled. Bud is rescheduled to fly the same flight the next day. It is a Saturday in Southern California so things could be worse. Bud rents a car and does something he has always wanted to do and visits the Planes of Fame Museum in Chino. One of the other pilots on the trips accompanies Bud on this outing. The Planes of Fame Museum has a terrific collection of warbirds including the only flyable Japanese Zero in the world. On that particular weekend, tours are available of an un-restored B-17 for $1. Bud splurges and takes the $1 tour. He enters the B-17 at the right rear door. Bud cannot believe how small the B-17 actually is. He looks at the tail-gunner position and wonders how the gunner could fit there. The fuselage is so narrow that the waist gunners cannot be positioned back-to-back. The positions had to be staggered. Bud makes his way to the cockpit and through a very small passageway to the nose compartment of the bombardier. All the time, Bud is wondering what flying a bombing mission to Germany must have been like. Everyone is trying to kill you from the ground and in the air. The urge would be to run or take evasive action, but they had to stay in formation and take it. Over 4,000 B-17s with 10 crewmembers each were lost in the European Theater alone. Where did they get the men to do that? Bud's hat is off to them!

The next day, Bud is flying to Cincinnati at 33,000 ft. He looks out the window and can see the shadow of the aircraft and the contrails on the undercast below. This is the only time a pilot can see the contrails he is making. Less of course, he does a 90 or 360 degree turn which isn't normally done at altitude. Contrails are the condensed water vapor from the engine exhaust. When Bud is on the ground looking up at them in the sky, he is still mesmerized by their magnificence even after 35 years as a pilot. He wonders where the airplane came from, where it is headed, what type it is, and what airline or military service it belongs to; however, when he is making contrails himself, he is unaware of it, can't see them, is bored to tears and wonders when the hell they are going to get to where they are going!

On another occasion, Bud and the rest of the cockpit crew were enjoying a rare lunch. Another airliner passed directly overhead by 2,000 ft.

Bud said real quick as the other aircraft whizzed by: "Pardon me but do you have any Grey Poupon?"

The other two pilots laughed.

Bud was at a party talking to a group of non-airline types when he was asked the most common question asked of airlines pilots: "Have you ever had a close call?"

Bud had been asked this question dozens of times and had a readymade humorous reply: "Well, there was that time a stewardess called the house and the wife answered the phone!"

Everyone laughed.

The questioner then said: "I meant while flying wise guy!"

Bud: "Well, there is one time that comes to mind. It was on a trans-Atlantic flight, but I forget if it was before we were hijacked or after we saw the UFO. At any rate, I had just eaten dinner and started to get rather severe stomach cramps. I barely made it to the restroom. It was a close call! The flight ended with us landing on a foamed runway."

Everyone laughed.

Sixty-Eight

Bud had always had an interest in WW II military airfields. While undergoing flight training, he always visited the closed airfields around Pensacola and Corpus Christi. Once while flying over southern England on a rare clear day, he could not believe how many WW II airfields could be seen from the aircraft. The British, who are the masters of trivia, have done an excellent job of compiling the history of the WW II airfields in their county. In the U.S., there is little or no information available on our military heritage – especially the WW II airfields. Bud decided that he was going to change that. He initially decided to write a book on the history of all the Navy's WW II airfields in the U.S.

To obtain the historical information and photographs, Bud had to travel to Washington, D.C. It helped that he could fly free on Dixie. Bud stayed at a B and B in Georgetown and utilized the Metro system for travel. The Navy's historical files at the time were located at the Washington Navy Yard in the southeast part of town. The Yard was initially established in 1799. The residence of the Chief of Naval Operations is located here along with many historical buildings. A few blocks away is located the U.S. Marine Corps Barracks, established in 1801, and the home of the Commandant of the Marine Corps. The surrounding neighborhood is appalling! In fact, a national disgrace and only about a mile from the Capitol! Bud felt like he was taking his life in his hands on the several block walk from the Metro to the Navy Yard. He wouldn't even consider the same walk at night. On one occasion when Bud was passing the Marine Barracks, several rifle toting Marines came charging out of the Barracks and up the street for some reason unknown to Bud.

During the war, all of the air stations were required to submit quarterly historical reports. There was a wide variety in the quality of the reports. If the job was given to someone who did not want to do it, the report would be just adequate. If the job was given to someone who had a sense of history, the report could be very good and informative. Some files contained photographs which Bud copied with a photo stand. The majority of the photographs came from the National Archives in downtown D.C. Sometimes Ashley would go with Bud to D.C. It was very nice to have one's mistress as an assistant.

To find a desired photograph in the National Archives, one has to look in a card catalog of 3 by 5 cards. The photos are held in boxes of two hundred other photos. It is a terrible system. Many of the photos are not in the card catalog and some are mislabeled. Bud got in the habit of looking at all 200 photos in every box. In this way he found some great photos. For the first book, photos were ordered directly from the National Archives. The Archives employed one contractor to do all of the photo copying. The quality of the copies was good and reasonably priced but service was slow. When people complained about the slow service, the Archives then opened up the copy service to everyone. The prices skyrocketed making it unpractical to order a large quantity of photos. Bud then resorted to photo copying the images himself with a 35mm camera. This was more economical but with less quality. The ideal situation was finally achieved several years later with a portable scanner and a laptop computer.

Bud was self-published – called Vanity Press by the publishing companies. Bud could not stand someone else editing his work and he could afford to publish it. He also designed the book and edited the book. This was possible with the desktop computer. The publishing was small potatoes by publishing standards with only two thousand initial copies.

While researching for his second book on WW II Naval air stations west of the Mississippi, he made contact with a gentleman in Corpus Christi, Texas who also had an interest in the same subject. This person did some research for Bud in Corpus and provided a few photos. The person told Bud that he was a corpsman in WW II. After the war, he could not get into medical school so he applied for veterinary school at Texas A and M. instead. When he started school, he discovered that the administration had made a mistake and enrolled him in medical school. The school realized its mistake about a year later, but since he had been making good grades the school let him continue in medicine. He completed medical school and returned to the Navy as a doctor and flight surgeon. In Korea, he was assigned to the Marines. He tagged along with a Marine pilot in an observation plane which was shot down and he spent over a year as a POW. His service as a doctor for other POWs earned him the Silver Star - pretty remarkable story. Bud was so impressed, that he dedicated his second book to him. The doctor even came to Atlanta and stayed at Bud's house for a couple of days.

A few years later, Bud stopped hearing from him and assumed he had passed on since his health had not been very good. Sometime later, Bud was telling the story to one of his golfing buddies who went to Texas A and M. The golfing buddy told Bud that Texas A and M does not have a medical school – the alarm bells went off. Bud's golfing buddy looked up the alleged doctor in A and M's alumni roster – no listing. On a trip to Pensacola, Bud looked up the doctor in the register of Naval officers during the years the doctor was supposed to be in the Korean War – no listing! Bud then looked up Naval recipients of the Silver Star – he wasn't there either. It was all a great big lie!

Sixty-Nine

A rumor had been circulating around the Dixie pilot group for years about the existence of a minimum benefit retirement plan for the pilots. Bud even once asked the Dixie pilot retirement guru of the Airline Pilots Association (ALPA) about it. Either that individual was unaware of its existence or was keeping it a secret because he said he had never heard of it.

Everything was finally revealed in 1995. It turns out that in 1972 when Dixie bought Northeast the pilots' contracts had to be merged along with the seniority lists. Dixie's retirement plan was better than Northeast's and totally funded by Dixie. Northeast, on the other hand, had two plans, an A-Plan and a B-Plan. The A-Plan was a small retirement package funded by Northeast. The B-Plan was essentially a 401K funded entirely by the Northeast pilots themselves. Dixie gave the Northeast pilot's the Dixie pilot's retirement plan and gave the money in the B-Plan back to the pilots – a very good deal for the Northeast pilots. The Dixie pilots asked what Dixie was going to do for them. Out of this request came the Minimum Benefit. The Minimum Benefit was a complex formula that included the Standard and Poor's Index, interest rates, the pilot's age and the pilot's wife's age – if he had a wife. One might ask why the pilot's wife's age was a factor. If the pilot's wife outlived the pilot, Dixie paid a survivor benefit to the wife. If the pilot did not have a wife, the pilot received higher retirement pay since Dixie would not be obligated to pay survivor benefits. When this agreement was signed in 1972, the Dow-Jones was around 1,000. In 1995, the Dow-Jones was over 6,000 and the Minimum Benefit started kicking in.

Dixie was in a panic. Who knew how high the Dow-Jones might go and increase Dixie's retirement obligation? The airline industry in 1995 was in one of its turndowns and Dixie had about 600 pilots on furlough. The same year, Dixie and the pilots were negotiating a new contract. Dixie wanted to freeze the Minimum Benefit and the union wanted to bring the furloughed pilots back to work. Both parties finally reached an agreement. In return for freezing the Minimum Benefit, Dixie agreed to give 505 early pilot retirements. This was a first for the airline industry. Ordinarily there is no financial benefit whatsoever to give a pilot early retirement. The airline just has to train another pilot to take his place and pay him the same salary. To sweeten the deal, Dixie would credit the early retirees an extra five years in age or length of service (whichever provided the most pay) plus throw in free medical and dental benefits. The 505 early retirements were to be awarded on a bid basis and only original Dixie pilots hired before 1972 were eligible.

Bud was some 400-odd on the seniority list, so he knew he could get it if he wanted it. Since not all pilots were expected to take the early retirement, a letter estimating the retirement pay was sent to all pre-72 Dixie pilots. Normal Dixie pilot retirement is calculated at 60% of the individual's last five years average earnings. When Bud got his estimate, he couldn't believe it was true. He called one of the pilots he had started with at Dixie and found out that his numbers were similar. Dixie was going to pay Bud $14,000 per month or $7,000 per month and a million dollars – over 75% of what he was making working. It was not worth driving to the airport for that last 25%, most of which went to the tax man.

Bud had just turned 56. It is one thing to be put out to pasture at 60 when there was no choice in the matter. It was another thing to put yourself out to pasture before your time. In addition, Bud would miss the best years of his airline career where he would be flying the most senior aircraft and trips. Bud and Fanny talked it over. There was lots of travelling they still wanted to do. Would they enjoy it more now or four years from now when they were four years older. Bud knew the answer to that one! Bud also discussed it with Ashley. Bud decided to take the early retirement. Some pilots who were not on the best terms with their wives got divorced to receive more pay. One of Bud's friends told his wife that if they were going to get divorced now was the time to do it. The wife who was a rabid traveler asked if she would still get the free airline tickets. When he told her no, she said to forget it! Sounds like a good reason to stay married!

There were several financial firms vying to manage the retiring pilots IRAs. These firms offered free seminars with advice on how to enjoy a financially and successful retirement. The number one recommendation – don't get divorced! _It's cheaper to keep her!_

The list finally came out. All of the pilots Bud started with at Dixie who were still alive took the retirement except one. There was some jealous resentment from the other Dixie pilots who label the early retirees _The Fortune 500_. Some of the pilots who had bid for the early retirement were on the edge and did not get it. Ironically, once they had made the mental commitment to retire, there was no turning back. These few pilots who did not make the 505 list retired anyway and took all the associated penalties that included a percentage reduction in pay for each year under 60 and having to pay for their medical coverage until they reached 60.

The date for Bud's retirement has been set. It just so happened that Bud needed one last check ride before he retired. It used to be that the pilot's last check ride before retirement was a freebee. The FAA had agreed to it and the last check ride was celebrated with a cake and a certificate. Well, along the way, Dixie's training department had a confrontation with the FAA resulting in a new policy.

Bud shows up for his last check ride and finds an FAA man is going to observe the check. Buds goes ape-shit and announces to everyone present: "I have worked for this fucking airline for over thirty years. I have never failed a flight check or received a flying violation. I was an instructor and an APD on the 727 and an instructor on the 1011. And the FAA is going to observe my last check ride! What a load of bullshit! What I should do is intentionally bust this check and sit on my ass for another month before I retire!"

Nobody has anything to say. They know Bud is right, but they are only doing what they have been told to do.

Bud: "Who is in charge over at the FAA these days? I am going to write that fucker a letter and tell him to go and fuck himself!"

Bud flies the check ride. It is abbreviated but he is still pissed off. He passes.

It is impossible to retire 505 pilots over night. Instead it was about a six month long process. About half the airline had to undergo training and the present schedule still had to be flown. In addition, there were only so many simulators available for training. Bud is one of the last of the retirees. Meanwhile during his last few months with Dixie, he is flying the San Juan, Puerto Rico turnaround – one of the most senior domestic trips. Most of these trips are on the weekend which Bud prefers. Traffic from where Bud lives to the airport is brutal during the week but a breeze on the weekends.

During his last month, he is flying the San Juan turnaround. He has a lesbian female copilot who is also a lawyer.

When Bud tells this fact to his friends, a couple of them laughed and said: "It couldn't happen to a nicer guy!"

Actually the copilot turns out to be a competent pilot. Her partner is there to meet her after every flight. Bud never saw such devotion out of a heterosexual relationship.

Dixie allows the retiring captain to fly with whom he likes on his last flight, so Bud gets one of his good friends to fly the flight as copilot. Dixie also lets the retiring pilot's wife accompany her husband on his last flight and gives her a confirmed seat. The cabin crew has been flying with Bud all month and bring a cake for Bud. Bud in turn has bought all of the girls a box of Godiva Chocolates. Bud has also put together an album of photos from his life which everyone enjoys. Fanny sits in the first class cabin on the leg to San Juan.

All of the weekend flights to and from San Juan are full due to the cruise line traffic. The gate agent tells Fanny that he might not be able to get her on the flight back.

When Bud hears this later he remarks; "Well, we would just have to sit here until one of the passengers decided to get off the airplane!"

It doesn't get to that, but Bud was prepared to do it. Taxing out, two fire trucks salute Bud goodbye by spaying an arc of water which Bud taxis under. Pilots have been allowing wives and friends to sit in the cockpit for the last landing. The FAA has gotten wind of this and sent a nasty letter on the subject. Bud ignores the letter and lets Fanny sit behind him for the landing in Atlanta. What are they going to do to him anyway? Make him retire or give him a month off? Bud guesses they could fine him if he got caught. Taxiing to the gate in Atlanta, the fire trucks salute him once again.

Fanny has organized a surprise for Bud. Getting off of the airplane Bud is met by his family and friends plus Fanny's sisters and their families from Tennessee. Ashley, Ava, and Mrs. Williams are also there to Bud's pleasant surprise. Joe had passed away two years earlier. One of the chief pilots is also present and presents Bud with a plaque in a small ceremony at an empty gate in the passenger terminal. Bud is very melancholy about the whole scene. At least he figured he had seen the zenith of the airline pilot's career. When Bud began with Dixie, obstetrics were not even covered by medical insurance. That was added later as well as dental insurance, a 401K, and disability benefits. Working conditions improved greatly with a five hour minimum. When a pilot went on duty he received a minimum of five hours of flight pay. This reduced work days from 18 to 15 per month. With start of deregulation and the resulting financial stress of the major airlines, the airline pilot's job would be downhill from here on.

After the retirement ceremony, the entourage proceeded to a restaurant for dinner where Bud picked up the bill.

Ava was now 26. She was a Dixie flight attendant and lived and worked in Atlanta. Bud got to see quite a bit of her. When Ava moved to Atlanta, Ashley retired from her job. She no longer needed an excuse to come to Atlanta and see Bud. Ava was engaged and Bud could not have picked a better man. Her fiancée was a Dixie pilot, Naval Academy graduate and former Naval aviator. To Ashley's and Bud's delight, Ava asked Bud to give her away at the wedding. It is a good thing too! Bud would have been devastated if she hadn't. Ashley planned on moving to Atlanta after the marriage to be closer to Ava, her future grandchildren, and Bud.

Bud asked Ashley if she was ever going to tell Ava who her real father was. Ashley said that she planned on doing that before she died. Ashley speculated that Ava might know the truth anyway!

Seventy

Meanwhile, Dixie's Board of Directors had it with Alan Davis and deposed him. In 1999, he is replaced with Bill Lyons. Dixie, up to Lyons's hiring, always promoted from within. Lyons makes some changes away from the old Dixie dogma. One popular change was the dress code for employees flying non-revenue or non-rev. Dixie non-revs were required to wear a coat and tie to fly first class. In the U.S. trend for more casual dress, one could always spot the Dixie non-revs because they were the only ones in coats and ties. The first class dress code for non-revs was changed to business casual – slacks and a collared shirt. Ground employees were also allowed to have facial hair other than mustaches. This rule did not apply to pilots of U.S. airlines who were still forbidden to have beards. Bud never understood this policy. When one sees a ship captain with a neat beard, one thinks: _What a distinguished and competent looking fellow_! Military officers can wear beards. Some Foreign airlines allow their pilots to have beards. Why doesn't this thinking apply to U. S. airline pilots? It just does not make any sense whatsoever.

Airline financial stress continued into the start of 21st Century - then came 9/11/2001. United Air Lines which had lost two aircraft on 9/11 declared bankruptcy the next year. In 2004, Bill Lyons, who is asking for concessions from the Dixie employees, is discovered secretly trying to set up a guaranteed pension program for senior management, including himself. Lyons, who doubled Dixie's debt from $10 billion to $20 billion during his leadership, is sacked by the Board of Directors. The pilots, who can see the handwriting on the wall, are jumping off the sinking ship like a bunch of rats. Their goal is to collect the lump sum retirement payment before Dixie goes under. Dixie finally declared bankruptcy in September 2005.

One of the first things Dixie does in bankruptcy is to turn its pension plans over to the Federal government 's Pension Benefits Guarantee Board (PBGB). The PBGB rules were not written with airline pilots in mind. Bud essentially loses 90% of his pension since he also now has to pay his medical and dental benefits. Bud is pissed off! Let's say the guy sitting next to him when they first started at Dixie was four years older than Bud. They both work over 30 years, paid the same amount of taxes, but the other guy only lost 10% of his pension because he was older. Fanny says that Bud is being penalized for being precocious.

There is some speculation that Dixie did not have to turn its pension plan over to the PBGB. Northwest Airlines, who declared bankruptcy the same month as Dixie, kept their retirement commitments. Some suspected that Dixie's action by senior management was to get back at the pilot group who they thought were getting too much money. No one in senior management ever thought that they were making too much money! Ironically, the survivor benefits come out of a different pocket. If the retired pilot passes away before his wife, her benefits return to the original amount.

Fortunately, Bud is married to the original wife and made some pretty good money on real estate. He will not have to modify his lifestyle. The result will be that his children will not inherit as much as they would have. If Bud really needed money badly enough, he could always get it from Ashley. Some other retired pilots are not so lucky and have to sell their retirement homes and make other financial changes to their lifestyles. Bud realizes that you cannot get blood out of a turnip. What really galls Bud is that the guys who fucked it up, former CEOs Alan Davis and Bill Lyons, and were fired, still walked off with millions of dollars stuffed in their pockets!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

M. L. Shettle Jr. was born in Baltimore, Maryland in 1940. After graduating from the University of Tennessee in 1961, he entered the United States Navy's Aviation Officer Candidate Program. He received his pilot's wings in February 1963. He spent the next three and a half years with Naval Air Transport Squadron Three at McGuire Air Force Base, New Jersey where he rose to Aircraft Commander and Instructor Pilot on the Lockheed C-130 Hercules. In 1966, he joined Delta Air Lines in Atlanta, Georgia. For the next thirty years with Delta, he would fly the DC-6, DC-7, Convair 880, DC-9, DC-8, B-747, B-727, and Lockheed L-1011. He retired from Delta in 1997 as an L-1011 captain. Two years before he retired, he began writing aviation history books on WW II airfields and completed five volumes – _U.S. Naval Air Stations of WW II, Eastern and Western States, U.S. Marine Corps Air Stations of WW II, Georgia's U.S. Army Air Fields of WW II,_ and _Florida's U.S. Army Air Fields of WW II_. See his website www.airbasebooks.com/ for details. _Dixie Airlines_ is his first fictional work. A second book in his airline series, _Rum Airlines_ , is now available and a third book, _Blue Ball Express_ is on the way.

Copyright © 2013 M. L. Shettle Jr. Page 312

