There are two things which almost every alien
encounter seems to have in common; hillbilly
butt stuff, and aliens that look eerily similar
to those we've heard described in the stories
of other people.
So if aliens have visited the Earth, and it's
a big if, then it looks like only a distinct
few species have ever enjoyed the privilege.
58 to be specific, as this is the number of
alien types supposedly documented by a secret
book given to members of the Russian secret
service.
So based on this and the testimonies of those
who claim to have met them, let us briefly
suspend belief and my use of the words reportedly,
supposedly and allegedly, to bring you this,
our look at 8 Species of Hypothetical Aliens.
Number 8: The Greys
Greys are the most recognisable form of alien
species, with these short, hairless grey humanoids
involved in the majority of alien encounters,
making up 50% in Australia, 43% in the US
and 67% in Brazil, because clearly the universe
does not adhere whatsoever to diversity quotas.
Greys are thought to be three to four foot
tall with long thin limbs and just three fingers,
and many of those who encounter them say they
are often accompanied by tiny dwarf like creatures
even shorter than the greys themselves.
Also known as Zeta Reticulans, this type is
heavily associated with the Roswell incident
of 1947, but the first description of a Grey's
appearance came from Barney and Betty Hill
back in 1961.
In an area just south of Twin Mountain, New
Hampshire, this ordinary, god-fearing couple
encountered an unidentified flying object
during a picnic.
The craft began to hover above the couple's
Chevy causing them to stop in the middle of
the highway, and when Barney Hill stepped
out of the car to confront the UFO with his
pistol, he saw eight to eleven short, grey
humanoids peering out of the windows.
These creatures wore glossy black uniforms
and black caps, kinda like the leather man
from the YMCA, but this description was all
Barney and Betty could muster…until they
were hypnotised.
Barney admitted that he and his wife had mentally
blocked out certain parts of this encounter
because it involved things they did not want
to remember, and when the couple were later
placed under hypnosis, they gave a more detailed
description of being molested by creatures
with greyish skin, black hair, dark eyes,
prominent noses and bluish lips.
This description has been expanded and revised
by other abductees in later years since, with
sightings describing them as having no genitals,
large opaque eyes, and no noticeable noses
or ears, with only small slits where they
should be.
Number 7: Nordics
Nordic aliens are the type which most closely
resemble human beings, with their eight-foot
stature, blonde hair and blue eyes leading
some to believe that these creatures are actually
our ancient ancestors who have returned to
study us.
Also called Pleiadians due to their originating
in the Pleiades star cluster, the majority
of those who have met Nordics claim to have
only ever seen males, with the few female
encounters ever recorded almost always reported
by human men, and almost always involving
heavy sexual elements.
By which I mean these guys are pretending
they've been banged by hot amazon space goddesses,
not that they've been covered in some kind
of dirty sexy space mercury.
George Adamski was one of the first people
to claim he had met Nordic aliens back I the
mid 1950's, and those who have encountered
them since say that despite their stature,
these beings are nothing but spiritual, protective
and affectionate.
They also have telepathic powers, and they
use this power to communicate their reasons
for visiting us, which are to help protect
our environment and bring about world peace.
Sadly, despite aliens of this description
being seen often in the 1950's, visitations
by Nordics have dwindled in the years since,
with human beings apparently in more dire
need of a feel-up from the Greys than some
recycling tips from our Swedish celestial
ancestors.
Number 6: Reptilians
The Reptilian breed of alien is difficult
to describe physically, as not only are there
three types, but these creatures also possess
the power to change their appearance.
Draco Reptilians are the elite members of
reptilian society, with these white-skinned
beings rarely seen by humans since they send
other lesser forms of life to do their work.
Draco are the only Reptilians to possess wings,
with most of them horned and standing at a
height of over three metres tall.
These reptilians rule over both the Reptoid-Human
and Reptilian-Grey crossbreeds, with both
of these species being much shorter at around
one to two metres.
Reptilians were first encountered in 1967
by Nebraska police officer Herbert Schirmer,
and since then their reputation has been enhanced
by conspiracy theorists such as David Icke,
who claim that their ability to shape-shift
means they've penetrated every level of human
society.
George W Bush, Barack Obama and Queen Elizabeth
are some of the world leaders accused of being
secretly Reptilian, with the likes of Miley
Cyrus, Kim Kardashian, William Shatner also
accused of hiding their Reptilian nature,
as has Screech from Saved by the Bell.
Number 5: The Anunnaki
The Anunnaki were first mentioned in the myths
of the ancient Sumerians, who were the first
race of humans to develop the ideas which
led to modern civilization.
The Anunnaki were described as tall, albino
humanoids who came to Earth 4,000 years ago
to enslave its people, but some believe the
Anunnaki were no mere myth, and that we'll
find them living on a world within our solar
system which we've yet to discover - the planet
Niburu.
The Anunnaki are thought to be a super sapient
race, with their levels of intelligence and
consciousness so high that comparing us to
them is like comparing humans to monkeys.
So if you ever meet these highly advanced
individuals, it might be tough to get a conversation
going.
Number 4: The Kyllimir-Auk
The Kyllimir-Auk is a lesser known species
of alien due to them being banned from visiting
Earth in the year 1000BC for unknown reasons.
Maybe they got super freaky at the water park
or something, it happens to the best of us.
Despite this, their kind have been seen on
our world quite recently in December of 1989,
and this serpent-like species is considered
something of a mystery race, since we know
nothing of their traits, abilities or their
motives.
The few depictions of the Kyllimir-Auk make
them look like a testicle with eyes, and documented
sightings of their kind are hard to come by.
What we do know is that they supposedly hail
from the constellation Volans, and that their
closest allies are the Maitre…which is not
good at all.
Number 3: The Maitre
The Maitre are described as the most violent
and sinister race of aliens in the known universe,
and despite already occupying two planets
in the Megopis constellation, they are always
hungry for more.
These fellas may be small, standing at less
than a metre in height, but their parasitic
appetite for land makes them a feared race
wherever they go.
Despite their lust for colonisation, you can
guarantee Tumblr would love the Maitre due
to their hermaphroditic nature.
Two bi-gendered Maitre are needed to produce
a Maitre pup, and these infants are capable
of sustaining themselves from a frighteningly
young age.
Earth has been protected from the Maitre by
a race called the Nine Governors for over
a millennia now, but even so, the Maitre continue
to raid our planet in secret, with their most
recent excursion involving the abduction of
ten African people in September 2006.
Number 2: The Sirians
Not to be confused with people from Syria
or that lady who lives in your phone, the
Sirians were one of the first alien civilizations
to visit our Solar System around four to five
million years ago.
Sirians are typically water-dwelling people
who prefer to exist in the deepest and darkest
oceans and lakes of the universe, and this
is why they have dark blue skin and dark pronounced
eyes, apparently.
Damnit I said I wouldn't say that word.
However, those who remained on Earth, such
as the inhabitants of one colony in Latin
America, gradually developed lighter skin
after breeding with the less-advanced inhabitants
of Earth at the time.
This is something the Nordics and another
race called the Lyra did, with our modern
DNA made up of a mix of several alien races.
Also, is said that humans who claim to possess
telekinetic powers and the ability to faith
heal are most closely related to the ancient
Sirians, with many of them having lived on
Sirius before coming to Earth.
So if you ever wondered why your nutjob Aunt
is so obsessed with dreamcatchers and soul
crystals, now you know why.
Number 1: Chupacabras
All those stories about the goat-sucking Chupacabra
- they're real don't you know.
Chupacabras are said to be the newest addition
to the list of alien Earth invaders, with
these flying, tan-coloured imps said to closely
resemble the devil while simultaneously stinking
like cat pee.
Their glowing red eyes and three large forehead
horns make them hard to miss in a crowd, which
is why they've only been spotted on a small
number of occasions since arriving in Brazil
in the early 90's.
Since then they've taken further trips to
Florida, Mexico and Puerto Rico, with the
occasional sighting also reported in Russia
and the United Kingdom.
It has been speculated that these wild animals
were placed here by a more advanced race for
sport or entertainment, and if we find out
who did this we need to seriously have a word
with them, because the Chupacabra's favourite
pastime is to drain creatures entirely of
their blood.
Great.
Thanks a lot alien jerks.
If we find out where you live we're gonna
send you a whole mess of angry weasels and
see how you like it.
So that’s our list.
Do you think any of these aliens exist?
What about you "guy in the comments section
called aliens exist who always introduces
himself"…what do you think?
It's certainly possible don't you think, because
if you've seen our recent video on seven astonishing
creatures that once roamed the Earth, there
have been far weirder species who've lived
on this very planet.
And if you haven't seen that video, it's coming
up right now.
