[crickets chirping]
[upbeat music]
♪ Feel so good ♪
♪ Better than my birthday ♪
♪ Feel so good ♪
- Ow!
♪ Feel so good ♪
♪ Swish up on my fade away ♪
♪ Feel so good ♪
♪ Even got my own parade ♪
- I don't regret staying at home
and being your mom.
But I regret not getting
my degree.
That's why somebody's mom
just enrolled in college.
I'm referring to myself.
I'll see you around
the quad.
- Nobody says that, Mom.
- Well, I'll bring it back.
- I think those guys just
checked you out.
- They're just looking
at my smock.
It tends to catch the light.
- Mom, you're a college girl now
and we gotta make some changes.
- No!
We don't know where
that's been.
Oh, God, it's full of hair.
[gags]
- Come on, let me at it.
- No!
Oh, God! No!
What are you, 20?
- Okay, I wouldn't go
that far. Okay.
- Ha!
Oh, I'm 21!
Whoo!
Ow!
- I love your mom.
- You had sex in
the library?
Frank!
- No, don't tell Frank.
- Deanna just had sex in
a public place.
- Where?
- In the stacks!
- In her slacks?
- No.
Shut up, Frank.
- I'm older, I'm wiser.
This is essentially
a Google.
"Ask me anything."
- Turn off you vagoogle.
You're scaring me.
- I think my vagoogle scared
Jack last night.
- Oh, my God!
- But in a good way.
- I'm a --
- Like when you intentionally go
through a haunted house.
- Ew!
