-The president brought us
to the brink
of a disastrous war with Iran
and then today claimed credit
for stopping it.
For more on this,
it's time for "A Closer Look."
[ Suspenseful theme plays ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
Last night,
Iran launched missiles
at two bases in Iraq
housing US troops
in retaliation
for the assassination
of a top Iranian general,
Qasem Soleimani.
It was obviously
a harrowing moment
with the lives of US and Iraqi
troops at risk,
and everyone had
that sickening feeling
that we maybe had just lurched
into an immoral and catastrophic
war with Iran.
It was one of those moments
where you're watching footage
of missiles streaking through
the night on CNN and you think,
"God, I hope we have smart
and steady leadership."
And then you say, "Oh, no."
[ Laughter ]
Now, thankfully,
there were no casualties,
which was fantastic news
and a huge relief.
But Trump delivered that news
last night
with a very bizarre tweet.
This was all we heard last night
from our commander-in-chief.
-All is well.
Missiles launched from Iran
at two military bases
located in Iraq.
Assessment of casualties
and damages taking place now.
So far, so good.
-"All is well"?
That's not how you address
the nation on matters of war.
That's how a sophomore
addresses his parents
on a postcard
from a trip abroad.
[ Laughter ]
"Hello from Reykjavik!
It's cold here, and super
expensive for some reason.
Otherwise, all is well!"
[ Laughter ]
Then, today, Trump followed up
on that tweet
and addressed the nation
in a rambling speech
in which he claimed credit
for ending a crisis he started,
bragged about US military might,
announced crushing
new sanctions on Iran,
lied about the intelligence
that led to the assassination
of Soleimani,
and then urged the world
to strike a new peace deal
with Iran.
The speech itself was
as dizzying as Trump's entrance,
when the doors opened
and he emerged from...
a spaceship?
[ Laughter ]
[ Fresh laughter and applause ]
I mean, look at him.
He looks like Mr. Burns
with radiation poisoning.
[ Applause ]
And, much like
the alien Mr. Burns,
Trump claimed to want peace,
but the whole thing was
incoherent and bizarre.
For example, after he descended
from his blue tractor beam,
he launched into the speech
before he addressed
the audience.
-As long as I'm president
of the United States,
Iran will never be allowed
to have a nuclear weapon.
Good morning.
[ Laughter ]
-And...good morning to you?
[ Laughter ]
It'd be fun if Trump started
every conversation like that.
[as Trump]
As long as I'm president,
Iran will never have
a nuclear weapon.
I'll have a Filet-O-Fish
and six Big Macs.
And if you were thrown
off-balance
by Trump's wild swings
from starting a conflict
to claiming he stopped one,
you are not alone because,
as usual,
Trump himself seemed off-kilter
and had trouble reading
from the teleprompter.
-The civilized world must send
a clear and unified message
to the Iranian regime.
Your campaign of terror,
murder, mayhem,
will not be toleri-- any longer.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Yes.
[as Trump] Tolera-deh-deh.
I love when he gets in trouble
halfway through a word
and then rather than just
stop and reboot,
reaches in his mind for what he
thinks the rest of the word is.
[as Trump]
Tolerate. Toler-ah-deh.
Toblerone.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Trump must have been blinded
[laughing] by that blue light.
And it probably only got worse
when the speech ended
and Trump went back
through the doors
[ Laughter ]
and into the light again.
God, it's like
that episode of "Seinfeld"
where a Kenny Rogers Roasters
opens
right next
to Kramer's apartment.
[ Electricity humming ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
This speech swung wildly
from bluster to threats
to offerings of peace,
to flat-out lies.
In fact, you'll never guess
who Trump blamed
for the military conflict
he provoked
by assassinating
a top Iranian general.
Trump repeated
an insane talking point
his GOP allies and Fox pundits
have trotted out
since last night.
They all tried to place
the blame for what happened
not on President Trump,
but on President Obama.
-The missiles fired last night
at us and our allies
were paid for
with the funds made available
by the last administration.
-In a very real sense,
the missiles that we saw fired
on US servicemen and -women
tonight
were paid for by the billions
that the Obama administration
flooded the ayatollah with.
-A lot of these offensive
capabilities you're seeing
were paid for
by Obama-Biden foreign policy.
-Listen -- this instant,
this moment right now,
is on Barack Obama,
not Donald Trump.
-You're blaming Obama for this?
First of all, he pursued
diplomacy with Iran.
Second, the guy's been
out of office for three years.
He's been busy windsurfing,
whitewater rafting,
[ Laughter ]
and gradually unbuttoning
his shirt one button at a time.
[ Laughter and applause ]
In fact, Obama's shirt
is basically our new
threat level meter.
When he was the president
and wearing a suit,
things were calm.
When Trump took office
and Obama started undressing,
things got crazy!
You ever see Obama walkin'
around without a shirt on,
get in a bomb shelter
immediately!
[ Laughter and applause ]
Now, needless to say,
this claim about Obama
giving Iran billions of dollars
is a lie
that has been
repeatedly debunked,
but it doesn't matter
to these guys,
because they're all obsessed
with Obama.
Now, don't get me wrong --
there's a lot you can criticize
about Obama's expansion
of war powers
and the national security state
and his use of drones,
but it's insane to blame Obama
for a military conflict
with a country
he pursued peace with.
What's Trump gonna
blame him for next?
Is Obama the one who told you
to breathe in through your nose
before every word
like a scuba diver
about to go underwater?
[ Laughter ]
-[ Sniffing ]
-Pssss!
[ Laughter and applause ]
But maybe the most incoherent
part of Trump's speech
came at the end,
when he actually claimed
he wanted a deal with Iran,
despite the fact
that he ripped up the Obama deal
that multiple allies
had agreed to and that everyone,
even his own former
Defense Secretary James Mattis,
said was working.
-The United States
will immediately impose
additional punishing economic
sanctions on the Iranian regime.
Iran must abandon
its nuclear ambitions
and end its support
for terrorism.
[ Sniffs ]
The time has come for the
United Kingdom, Germany, France,
Russia, and China [sniff]
to recognize this reality.
[ Sniffs ]
They must now break away
from the remnants
of the Iran deal,
and we must all work together
toward making a deal with Iran
that makes the world
a safer and more peaceful place.
-Oh, now you want a deal?
You already ripped up one
and then attacked them.
Why would they negotiate
a second deal
with a guy who lies
about everything
and always goes back
on his word?
It's like if you got
one of those spam calls
offering you a free cruise,
and then they called you again
and you were like,
"Okay, I'll give you my
Social Security number again,
but this time, I'd better get
that trip to Hawaii.
I want to go paddleboarding
with Obama.
Oh, God, he's shirtless!
Run!"
[ Laughter ]
This strategy of ripping up
the deal, attacking them,
and then demanding a new deal
obviously makes no sense.
Trump's impulsive seesawing from
conflict to threats to restraint
show us why Congress must
reclaim its constitutional power
and stop any president,
let alone a president
as deranged as Trump,
from unilaterally waging a war
or triggering a conflict
like this again.
Congress has the power
to stop this.
There's a lot they can do.
They can pass
a war powers resolution.
They can block war funding.
They can repeal both
Bush-era authorizations
for the use of military force.
They could even
keep Trump distracted
by tying a chicken nugget
to a Roomba
and letting it loose
in the White House.
[ Laughter and applause ]
[as Trump] I can't talk
about Iran now.
Where did you go?
Where'd you go,
you little piece of chicken?
Because Trump and his allies
have been insisting,
in Orwellian fashion,
that this act of war
was actually an attempt
to de-escalate and stop a war,
that Trump has the power
to do whatever he wants,
and also, that none of this
is his fault.
But make no mistake, this
completely unnecessary crisis
was entirely Trump's doing.
He's been on a march toward
conflict with Iran from day one,
which is why Congress has to
stop this from happening again.
Last year, for example,
he was asked
if he had an exit strategy
in mind
for what would have
undoubtedly been
a catastrophic war with Iran,
and he admitted that he did not.
-Do you have an exit strategy
for Iran, if war does break out?
-Uh, you're not gonna need
an exit strategy.
-[Laughing]
-I don't need exit strategies.
-And, of course, Trump doesn't
have an exit strategy for war.
He didn't even have
a literal exit strategy
when he and Ben Carson missed
their cues at a debate,
got stuck in a hallway,
and just froze.
[ Laughter ]
[as Trump]
Well, this is our life now.
We live in this hallway.
I mean, look at them.
They look like extras in a movie
who accidentally wandered
onto the wrong set.
[ Laughter ]
[as Trump] What's with
all these hamster people?
They're cats?! [ Groans ]
This movie's not gonna work.
[ Laughter ]
And even when Trump does exit,
he doesn't do it
with a strategy.
He just wanders
aimlessly offstage
while other people are talking,
like a grandpa who's lost
at Disney World.
"Disneyland?! But I wanted
to go to Fantasy Land!
That's the strip club
I went to in 'Nam."
[ Laughter ]
Presidents of both parties
have been accumulating
unconstitutional war powers
for themselves
going back decades,
and of course it was
a Republican president,
George W. Bush,
who orchestrated an illegal
invasion of Iraq based on lies,
established a secret network
of CIA black sites
to carry out illegal torture,
choked on a pretzel,
got stuck in a room when he
tried to open a locked door,
and then retired to become
the Republican Bob Ross.
[ Laughter ]
And, like Bush,
Trump sees himself
as above the law
and popular opinion.
For example, you might
remember that, in 2006,
amid calls for the firing
of Defense Secretary
Donald Rumsfeld
during the disastrous Iraq war,
Bush said this...
-I have strong confidence
in Don Rumsfeld.
I hear the voices
and I read the front page
and I know the speculation.
But I'm the decider
and I decide what is best
and what's best is
for Don Rumsfeld
to remain as the
secretary of defense.
-That's right --
he's the decider.
He could've just said
"decision maker,"
but why mangle two words
when you can combine them
into one even dumber word?
[ Laughter ]
"I'm the decider,
and whatever I decide,
you're just gonna have
to tolera-deh-deh!"
[ Laughter ]
So, after orchestrating
an illegal and disastrous war
in Iraq, Bush said he alone
gets to make the decisions
and now Trump and his allies are
taking that logic even further.
Last night on Fox News,
Senator Lindsey Graham said
Article II of the Constitution,
which outlines the powers
of the presidency,
give Trump the ability
to unilaterally attack Iran,
which it does not, and Trump
himself has repeatedly insisted
that Article II lets him do
literally whatever he wants.
-The president has
all the authority he needs
under Article II to respond
and how he responds
has yet to be determined,
but he has that authority
to respond.
-Article II allows me to do
whatever I want.
Nobody ever mentions Article II.
It gives me all of these rights
at a level that nobody
has ever seen before.
We don't even talk
about Article II.
[ Applause ]
Then I have an Article II,
where I have the right to do
whatever I want as president,
but, I don't even talk
about that.
[ Laughter ]
-First of all, you're wrong.
Second, saying,
"I have an Article II"
sounds like how a cabbie
from Queens would say it
while fighting
with a traffic cop.
"Oh, you want to see my papers?
They're right here.
I got a Article I
and an Article II!"
[ Laughter ]
"There you go. I'm gonna
make 'em kiss for you.
There you go."
[ Laughter and applause ]
Trump's strategy toward Iran
is incoherent and dangerous.
No president,
especially Donald Trump,
should have the war powers
they currently have
and Congress should
immediately take them back
and stop a crisis like this
from happening again,
because another disastrous
military conflict
in the Middle East is definitely
something that can't be...
-Toleri--
[ Laughter ]
-This has been "A Closer Look."
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
