 
# Vivienne

Part Two

The Lost and Found

## Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Epilogue

## Chapter One

April 1917 - Boston, Massachusetts

It seemed quiet, too quiet for a Friday afternoon and warmer than usual for the time of year. The windows were open in our flat and as I looked over the streets, I noticed that there was very little traffic. There wasn't much noise coming from the nearby docks, either. Typically, the hum along Atlantic Avenue was constant with all the passing cars and people coming or going from the shipyards. In the warmer months we could hear the workers and their shouts as they loaded and unloaded cargo at any of the nearby piers. It all added to the din but it was virtually noiseless that day.

"Eerie," I whispered to myself.

I knew why such a hush had fallen on the city. I had been waiting all morning for Robert to come home with the news as soon as they announced it. Though I wasn't sure how I felt about America joining the war in Europe, Robert believed that it was the right thing to do. There were some things I would rather not think about and I had grown to trust his sense and judgment especially with concerns like these.

"Momma?" Christopher tugged on my skirt as I stood at the window wondering what to expect.

"What is it, sweetie?"

"Play with me," he looked up; his eyes full of hope.

"You bet!" I ruffled his hair. "Would you like to go to the park?" Robert had asked us to stay home but there was so little for us to do. Besides, we were both restless from being stuck inside on such a nice day.

His face lit up and he nodded enthusiastically.

"Let's leave a note for Daddy first, then we can go."

I turned to the writing desk and folded a sheet into quarters then tore a section from the page. After scribbling our message I tucked it under the centerpiece on the kitchen table. I checked my hair and put my apron aside then motioned Chris towards the door. "It's a long walk; you're not tired are you?"

"No, Momma."

"Are you sure?" I teased.

He just smiled and took my hand. We wound our way down the stairs and out the front door of our building. Christopher was only 3 years old and full of curiosity so I kept an easy pace as we walked. He let go of my hand after a few blocks and since there were so few people along the way I let him wander and explore confident he wouldn't cause any trouble. Every so often he would stop to inspect a little something or other that caught his eye. Whenever he did, I patiently waited or oohed or ahhed if it was something he wanted to show me.

Somewhat to my disappointment the park was empty when we got there. I hoped there might be some other kids for Chris to play with and perhaps someone for me to talk to while the children kept themselves busy. Though the barren playground distracted me I did my best to entertain him and we played several games together. At one point I noticed Chris' shoe had come undone and as I bent to fix the lace, I heard a strange noise.

When I looked around, I realized what was happening. Hundreds, maybe even thousands of people flooded the streets; some coming out of their homes to share the news others rushing to their loved ones to share it. The announcement seemed to be on everyone's lips and I realized that what Rob hoped for was coming to pass. After nearly two days of deliberation congress granted President Wilson's request and America had declared war.

The noise and the throngs of people made Christopher nervous and he visibly trembled where he stood so I scooped him up and hugged him close. I wasn't sure what to do, whether I should stay and wait for the crowds to pass or try to get us home. Thankfully I didn't have to choose since Robert was among the first wave of passersby and he spotted us as the momentum of the crowd carried him along.

He muscled his way into the park and hurried towards us, "Valerie," he wrapped his arms around me and Chris, "what are you doing here? You should be at home; I asked you to stay home today!"

"I'm sorry, Robert, but it was so beautiful out and Christopher needed something to do."

He looked disappointed and my heart sank knowing he had every right to be angry. "Come," he took Chris from my arms and swung him up onto his shoulders, "hold my shirt and stay behind me."

The crowds jostled us once or twice but with Robert leading it didn't take long to reach our building. We all seemed to sigh with relief once we were safely inside the flat. Robert whisked Chris from his shoulders then shooed him off to play before turning my way.

"Are you alright?" he ran his hands up and down the length of my arms.

"I'm fine," I assured him.

"Valerie..."

"Please Robert, don't lecture me. I know I promised I would stay in."

"Forget about that, what's done is done," he said dismissively. "Val, we need to talk."

I narrowed my eyes at him, "That doesn't sound good."

"Well, it depends on how you look at it." He paused, "I'm going to enlist."

I blinked in disbelief, "You're what?"

He led me to the couch and helped me take a seat as his words sank in. He sat across from me then calmly said, "I'm going to join the army, Val, it's the right thing to do."

"What?!" I asked full of disbelief. "No, you can't Robert. Why...why would you..." I wasn't sure what I wanted to say.

"I can and I will," he assured me.

"But Christopher and I, we need you. How are we going to live without you here? We need you more than the army does. We're your family; you need to take care of us!"

"You can go home and stay with your mother and father and I'll send you what I can while I'm away."

I shook my head, "No," I whispered. Then, "How can you even suggest that? You know I would never go home! What is wrong with you, Robert? Have you given this any thought?"

"I have and I've made up my mind. You can stay here if you'd like and try to get a job, but I'd rather you not," he said. "It would be better for you, and Christopher, to be with your family. He's never even met half his cousins and hardly knows his grandparents."

"My parents," I thought to myself, "never!"

I was the oldest of 6 children; 3 boys and 3 girls. I spent nearly all my youth cooking and cleaning and helping care for them all. Our home was utter chaos from dawn till dusk and all I ever wanted was to escape it. I never dreamed I would be free of it and certainly not in the way I finally was.

Robert and I had known each other since childhood. He was my neighbor and best friend. We did everything together. As we grew older, though, his feelings shifted from friendship to love. I could never find the courage or the right words to tell him that whatever hopes he had they were in vain. Instead I did my best to ignore it and discouraged him whenever possible. I guess I didn't do enough to make him realize I didn't share his feelings or maybe he did and refused to accept it. Either way, to him and to everyone else we seemed obvious, one for the other.

So, when Robert bypassed me and asked my father for my hand my father accepted on my behalf. I objected in every way imaginable and did everything I could to break the engagement. I even resorted to telling my mother I loved someone else but when I tried to explain who and justify my refusal I sounded like madwoman.

Neither of my parents would listen to my arguments and eventually my father heard enough. He seized me by my elbow and dragged me toward the front door. "You will marry Robert or you'll not spend another night under my roof!"

I may not have been worldly but I'd seen enough to know the city was no place for a young woman alone. Terrified of the possibility, I relented and agreed to marry Robert. I hated myself for it, knew that it was wrong and felt in my heart that there was someone else for me; someone I was meant to be with. When I spoke with Robert, I did it privately. I told him that yes, I would marry him but he would have to find a home for us first. I would not live with or near my family ever again.

The thought of going back to my parents, even though only one or two of my sisters remained appalled me. My family's home did not hold the happiest of memories for me. I couldn't imagine being there with my parents for however long Robert was away.

"And what if he never came back?" my mind turned dark. "Oh, God Robert! How could you do this to us?" I asked my eyes brimming with unshed tears.

He looked across at me and took a deep breath, "Because we have a responsibility, Val; it's our duty as freemen to protect our freedom and the freedom of others."

I hated when he said things like that. He made me feel so ashamed, so selfish. Every time we argued or disagreed on something he found the perfect thing to say to melt my resolve and I would give in or admit my fault. I stood up and paced while trying to come up with an equitable argument. It had been too much of a shock, though, and my mind was blank. When the silence grew too much for him Robert took my hand and stopped me.

He brushed a kiss across my knuckles, "I'm sorry, Val. It's just something I have to do. You and Christopher mean the world to me, but what kind of world would it be if we don't do this?"

I tried looking into his eyes; I wanted to beg and plead with him not to go but only managed a weak smile as I mumbled, "Of course, Robert."

He tucked me under his chin and gripped me tight, "There's a meeting tonight and I won't be home for dinner." He gathered his coat and got ready to leave.

"You're going back out?"

"They want me to try to encourage some of the men to join us. We're meeting at the town hall tonight and I'm not sure when I'll be home."

There seemed nothing more to say, so I nodded acceptance. Robert tracked Christopher down and hugged and kissed him goodbye. I followed him to the door and Rob apologized again as he let himself out. I bolted the door behind him and listened to his steps as he walked away.

My head was spinning and I had to sit down. I had no idea how to live without Robert. I had never been on my own. When I married Rob, I went straight from my family's home to his. Other than my day to day domestic responsibilities I never had, "A job," I wondered to myself, "what can I possibly do? How could I earn enough money to support Christopher and myself and keep us from moving home?"

Christopher crawled up onto my lap as the whirlwind of thoughts battered my brain, "I'm hungry, Momma."

I was thankful for the distraction, "I'll make us some dinner, what would you like?"

"Hmm," he smiled, "pancakes?"

I cocked my head at him, "Sure why not? It's been a topsy-turvy day. Why not have breakfast for dinner?" I kissed his cheek and set him down, "Would you like to help me?"

"Yessss," he clapped his hands.

## Chapter Two

Robert left us in August. Everyone in our tenement seemed to have someone to say goodbye to, so we threw a block party to wish them all well the night before they left. We had so much fun it was hard to imagine that in the morning they would all be gone. I wondered when or if I would ever see many of them again. Robert and I stayed up well after the celebration was over. As we lay in bed, he reiterated time and again everything I would need to do while he was away.

He told me he had paid all of our bills for the next two months in advance. Afterwards he extracted a promise from me that if I wasn't able to find work before those months were up I would go home to my family. I reluctantly agreed to it and all his other suggestions. He seemed on the verge of tears at one point and I assured him Christopher and I would be fine; he needn't worry about us and must instead put all his efforts into keeping himself safe.

In the morning we stood on the walkway and said our final goodbyes. We watched until he disappeared from view then Christopher and I went back inside and spent a very melancholy morning together.

For the first week I kept close to our routines so Robert's absence wouldn't be overly felt by Chris. The following Monday, though, I decided I'd better face the inevitable and look for work. I made arrangements to leave Chris with our neighbor Katherine that afternoon. She had a daughter about Chris' age and was pregnant with her second child. They shared one of the larger flats above us with her mother and father who both worked at the Prince factory.

Stephen, her husband, was one of the many who had gone off with Robert to join the army so she was fortunate that her parents lived with them. They earned enough to keep themselves and Kate, along with her daughter, Justine, and the new baby once it arrived.

Kate was very kind-hearted and had many close friends in the building. She was the first person many of us turned to in a pinch.

"I can't thank you enough, Kate," I hugged her goodbye and peered over her shoulder to where Chris and Justine were playing together on the living room floor.

"Any time," she kissed my cheek, "Mother and Father put in a good word for you at the factory, make sure you try them first."

"I will," I assured her as I waved goodbye to them all.

Much to my disappointment when I got there they informed me I had waited too long; during the week I spent with Christopher adjusting to Robert's absence they filled their workforce and didn't have a place for me. I received a similar response from just about every other business I inquired at. By the time I got home I felt utterly defeated.

"What was I thinking?" I scolded myself for my carelessness as I faced the very real possibility of having to honor my promise to Robert and move back with my family.

I composed my face before knocking but lost my happy expression when I heard muffled sobs coming from beyond the entryway. Kate fumbled the door open. She was holding Justine in one arm and Chris in the other; the weight of both nearly overwhelming her. Chris scrambled from her grasp into mine as soon as he saw me.

"Oh, thank goodness you're back!" Kate exclaimed while I soothed Christopher.

"I would have come sooner if I had known you needed me. What happened?"

She took a quick glance up and down the length of the hallway and knowing how thin the walls were, hurried us all inside before answering.

"I'm not sure; they just erupted. They were playing so well together and I turned away for a moment and, well, I guess they got into a little tussle over something. It looks like Chris got the worst of it. I'm so sorry; I can't imagine what possessed them."

Holding Christopher back I gave him a thorough inspection. He looked away when I kissed the tiny scratch on his cheek.

It was hard not to smile as I pictured the two of them fighting and Kate trying to corral them. When I could speak with a semblance of authority, I made Christopher apologize and shake hands. Once he did we said goodbye and were about to leave but I noticed an acrid smell as we made our way toward the front door. I wrinkled my nose and whirled around.

"Oh, Kate, I think something is burning!"

"Lord above!" she cried as she set Justine on the floor and ran to the kitchen.

I chased after her and was just in time to see Kate toss a blazing pan into the sink. She ran the faucet over it and batted at the remaining flames with a coarse towel.

"Ugh," she wafted the air.

I went to the nearest window and tossed it open. Kate looked like she was about to break down so I motioned Chris to wait by the door. I gave her a consolatory hug, "It's alright," I said, "come eat with us, it's the least I can do. I made I pie before I went out this afternoon and I'm sure it will be enough for everyone."

"What about Momma and Papa?"

"I have plenty for them, too," I assured her as they both walked into the kitchen together.

"What happened?" Kate's mom asked.

I turned her mother and father away and nodded to Kate over my shoulder, "Come, we can tell them over dinner."

I left the pie on top of the stove to keep warm while I was out. Though it wasn't hot, it was still tepid once we cut into it. Kate helped me serve and after she said grace we took our first forkfuls while she told her parents the tale of her ill-fated roast.

Afterwards we tried to discover the cause of the disagreement between Christopher and Justine but neither would confess it. When he finished eating Christopher crawled up onto my lap and sighed. It had been a long day and though he would never ask outright, I knew he was ready for bed. I excused myself and tucked him in.

By the time I got back to the kitchen Kate and her mom had cleared the dishes away. They were in the middle of a conversation while they busily washed and dried them but turned when they heard me come in.

"You never told us how things went today," Kate reminded me.

"Oh, not so well. I think I may have waited too long to find something. There doesn't seem to be any place left that will have me now."

"So you didn't find a job today?" Kate asked.

"No," I shook my head.

"Oh, try not to worry and hey, if you can't find anything, you can always sell your pies, they're absolutely delicious!" Kate said it with a touch of humor but as soon as the words were out I realized what she said might have merit. I smiled as I considered the possibility. I asked her if she was serious and if she really thought I could support myself and Christopher that way.

"I know you could," her mother answered for her. "All you'd have to do is put a cart near any of the docks or factories at the end of a shift and you'd sell them all. No one wants to work 10 hours a day just to go home and work more to feed their family. With all the men gone, and the women working, no one has time for that."

"Hmm," I tucked my hair behind my ears as I mulled it over.

While the evening ticked by we talked more about the idea and its potential. We came up with several plans and ways to carry them out. Eventually Justine fell asleep in Kate's lap and we decided it would be best to call it a night. After everyone left, I sat at our little writing table to figure out how much it would cost for everything I would need to get started. Then I tried to figure out how much I would need to earn in order to support Chris and myself if I went ahead with the plan.

"I can do this," I thought once I finished and had gotten myself into bed. I hugged Robert's pillow and wistfully fell asleep.

When I woke the next morning, my first thought was for my new enterprise. Robert had given me all the cash leftover from when he paid our bills. Though it wasn't much, I thought it might be enough to buy a cart and the other things I would need to get started.

Christopher and I had our breakfast together and when we finished eating, we got ready to go out. I had no idea where to get a street cart. I asked a few of the vendors we passed but grew no closer to finding a place to buy one. Most had either built their own or had them passed down from family or from other vendors looking to get rid of them.

As the morning wore on Christopher grew cranky and tired from all the walking. I wasn't ready to give up my quest, so I suggested we go home and get his new wagon. Robert had given it to Chris before he left as a pre-birthday present. After I carried it down the stairs and settled him in it I had an epiphany.

"Well, this would do just as well as a street cart, now wouldn't it? I could put all my pies in here and tow them to the dock and Chris could come with me then I'd tow him home in it after."

My eyes lit up as I considered the concept. I looked at my watch and eager to get started wondered how many pies I could make before the dock worker's shifts ended. I made a mental tally of what I had in the pantry and decided it was as good a time as any to give it a try.

We took a quick trip around the block so Christopher wouldn't be disappointed he hadn't gotten to use his wagon. Once we were back, we hurried up to our apartment so I could get started. It wasn't as easy to make a bunch of pies as it was to make one. I had to stop to give Chris his lunch and I needed to distract him a handful of times with activities to keep him busy while I worked. By the time the sun was setting I had only made half a dozen pies.

I brought the wagon down first and made two more trips with the pies. Once I had everything arranged, I took Chris' hand and led us towards the docks. We came to an intersection and it never occurred to me to look for cars. Determined to get to a good spot where the workers would see me, I started across without thought. As I reached the midway point I glanced up just in time to see a touring sedan bearing down on me and Christopher.

Instinctively I let go of the wagon and swung Chris up into my arms as I dove for the sidewalk. There was a horrible scraping of metal on metal for several seconds and when I turned I saw sparks flying from beneath the car as it carried the wagon forward. The sedan screeched to a halt and the driver dove underneath to see what he hit as I stood dumbfounded on the sidewalk.

Christopher was bawling at the loss of his wagon and I felt not only his grief but my own. I berated myself for my stupidity and the destruction of the wagon and the pies and for nearly getting us both killed. The driver saw us huddling together on the sidewalk and correctly assumed we were the owners of the tragic toy.

"I'm so sorry," I called as he approached, "it was my fault. I didn't look, I..."

He was so frightening as he moved towards us that I cried right along with Christopher. I wanted to run but could only shrink at the driver's approach and the degrading epithets he hurled at me. While I held Chris against my chest and covered his ear, a passenger hopped from the car. He commanded the driver to stop his litany and return. I couldn't distinguish him in the dim light but whoever he was, he seemed to be someone of standing or importance.

I watched them talk together while they inspected the wagon and the remnants of my pies for a moment. More than once I felt the passenger's eyes boring into me from where he stood. It was unsettling even though he was so far away and so indistinguishable through the dusky light and my flood of tears. There was something about him though. Every time he took his eyes from me and turned them on the driver I felt a wave of disappointment wash over me and wished that he would look my way again.

Eventually the driver nodded and helped the passenger back into the car. After he closed the door, the driver rustled around in the glove compartment and came back to where I stood with Christopher.

"Write your name and address here," he shoved a paper and pencil at me.

"But why?" I stuttered through my sobs.

He looked over his shoulder, "You must."

I followed his gaze and saw the passenger staring at us from the open window of the backseat.

"Yes," I mumbled, "yes, of course."

The driver took the paper from me when I finished and handed me a kerchief before returning to the car. He fished the wagon out from underneath and tossed it onto the sidewalk. A moment later he took his place at the wheel and drove away. I dabbed Chris' eyes then my own and as I folded the kerchief to tuck in my pocket, I read the initials.

"GB," I said to myself before collecting what remained of the wagon and pies to drag back home.

## Chapter Three

It was not an easy task getting our wreckage home and sadly no one offered to help us along the way. We both stopped crying but we were still brooding under the full weight of the accident. Chris was inconsolable over the irreparable damage done to his wagon and I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened either. Every second of the incident seemed to reverberate in my mind.

As the scene repeated itself over and over again, it forced me to admit that we had lost so much more than just his toy. I cleared out our pantry in my haste to make the pies and had very little cash to replenish those supplies with. I hoped I would be able to make a passable dinner for Chris and myself. Somehow I needed to come up with a way to overcome what essentially was a catastrophic loss for us.

"How could I have been so reckless?" I scolded myself. "Thank God it was only the food and the wagon," I looked down at Christopher as he trudged along beside me; his tiny hand gripping mine. "I'm so, so sorry Christopher. I promise I'll make it up to you," I gave him a woeful smile.

We had a somewhat watery soup for dinner. When we finished eating, I gave Christopher a lengthy bath and one of the hard candies I kept for days like these. Afterwards I tucked him in and kissed him goodnight.

"I love you, Momma," he mumbled through his yawn.

"I love you too, baby."

From Chris' room I went to the writing desk and took out the billfold where Robert had placed all our extra cash. After counting the money twice I put all the bills and coins back in the wallet and tucked it away. Then I tallied up what I hoped would be a reasonable budget for us. For a moment I wished Robert was there to fix everything. That made me even more sorrowful and I realized how ashamed I was for what I had done. I prayed that he would never find out.

I knew I had no choice but to vanquish the hope of my pie business. Next I needed to accept that even with the two months before our bills were due again I wouldn't be able to feed us for very long.

"There's no other way. I'll have to double my efforts and find a job as soon as possible! I won't go home!"

After I made my resolution, I decided I should get ready for bed so I could get an early start. As I reached for the lamp and slid beneath the covers, I sighed knowing it would be impossible to fall asleep with so many things on my mind. Instead of closing my eyes I opened the drawer of my nightstand and took out my rosary for the first time in many weeks. I whispered a series of prayers to myself and when I finished those I began reciting my intentions. Before I uttered more than the first few syllables my eyes drooped and moments later, I fell asleep.

I dreamt that I was walking in the woods somewhere. It was daytime but the overcast sky and dense foliage made it seem like night. There was a stream to my right and I guessed I should follow it. I wasn't sure if I should go upstream or down. I decided down, but that must have been the wrong choice. After a few yards the largest dog I had ever seen stepped into my path. It terrified me at first but she seemed friendly enough as she edged her way toward me. She let me pet her for a few seconds then nudged me and I thought she was telling me I needed to go in the opposite direction.

She moved ahead and after a few steps looked over her shoulder as if to say, "Are you coming?" so I shrugged and followed her.

Several minutes later she stopped and raised her head and twitched her nose as she caught a waft of something on the wind. I smiled and copied her, lifting my chin and taking a deep breath. I thought I could smell flowers nearby and felt drawn to their scent. Side by side the dog and I moved away from the stream and into the forest. A moment later we stepped into a beautifully landscaped clearing.

I was a little afraid, but I had an uncanny sense I knew where I was as I made a circuit of my surroundings. It was obviously someplace special and crafted to look the way it did. There was no way nature created such a peaceful, serene setting in the midst of all the chaos that surrounded it. Everything I saw overwhelmed me and I jumped when someone called out.

"Vivienne?!"

My heart leapt as I whirled around and around looking for the person the voice belonged to.

"Is it really you?" the voice asked.

I don't know what compelled me to answer the way I did but the words just tumbled out, "Oui, chère, c'est moi!"

Suddenly he was behind me. His arms wrapped around my waist and his chin brushed the hair back from neck. He kissed my cheek and whispered in my ear, "I've missed you," his breath sending shivers up and down my spine.

"I...I..." I was delirious and couldn't speak. He turned me so I was facing him.

I had never seen so handsome a man.

"I can't believe it's you! They told me you were gone. I was too late and... Oh, Vivienne!" he muttered into my hair. "I knew you would come back!"

"Of course I did. I love you!" I smiled into his eyes.

"Do you still love me, Vivienne? Even after everything that's happened."

"Oui, Gabriel, I have always loved you and never loved another," I assured him.

"Show me..." he grinned.

I looked around as if to reassure myself that no one was there but the two of us then unbuttoned my dress.

"Slowly," his voice full of mischief.

I lowered my eyes and slackened my pace as I smiled under his appreciative gaze. The gauzy fabric slipped from my shoulders and he eased my nightgown down around my waist. He took my hand in his and brought it to his lips then kissed it from wrist to elbow. His free hand wrapped around my neck and when I felt the pressure of mouth against mine it set off a frenzied longing deep within me. My desire to please him erupted into an undeniable need for my own fulfillment.

Pushing him away I frantically slid my gown down to my ankles and kicked it aside. I fumbled with his trousers and once I got them off ignored everything else he was wearing and forced him inside me. I nearly screamed in pleasurable pain, "Ssh, love," he whispered, "ssh. We can take our time; we have all the time in the world."

I couldn't control myself though and sensing my desperate yearnings he drew me down onto the grass. He rolled on top of me and covered me with kisses, "It's been so long, Vivienne. Let's not hurry," he insisted, "wait for me." He seemed to be holding himself back and savoring our togetherness.

I tried to pace myself, tried to ignore my body and focus on his. I ran my hands across his chest and down his back but it only increased the intensity of the sensations we were creating as he made love to me. Every second that passed urged me closer and closer until suddenly my back arched and with his final determined thrust our bodies shuddered into violent satisfaction.

My heart pounded and my breath came in quick gasps. The heat of our passion seemed to spread throughout me awakening every nerve and pore and making me feel dizzyingly alive. We lay together for a few minutes afterwards, neither willing to be the one to break us apart.

Eventually I nuzzled his cheek and sighed contentedly. Then he rolled to my side and kissed my shoulder, "I see I'm not the only one who has been doing the missing!" he teased.

"Momma?"

"Oh, God," full of fear and shame I looked around and saw that I was in bed and it was still nighttime. I quickly came to my senses.

Christopher tugged on my sleeve, "Momma, I'm cold."

I reached for him and tucked him into bed with me, "I must have left a window open. Stay here, I'll be right back."

I went from room to room checking them all and when I came to the one over the fire escape found that it was the one I left open. As I tugged the window closed, I thought I caught a hint of flowery perfume on the air and had the peculiar sense that someone was watching me. I peered out into the darkness but the fog from the nearby bay had cast the world in a heavy veil. It was impossible to see down to the street. I shook the feeling away as I bolted the window and headed back to bed.

Christopher had fallen asleep by the time I got there. I crept beneath the covers careful not to wake him then closed my eyes. I was restless with the dream so fresh in my mind. It had all seemed so natural while I imagined it in my sleep. Guilt plagued me, though, as I envisioned the handsome stranger and all that happened between us.

I had never been intimate with anyone but Robert and with him only dutifully. To me lovemaking meant nothing and was just a necessary part of marriage. I never encouraged it or desired it in any way for myself. I never imagined it could be anything other than an obligation.

"But I had wanted it and encouraged it, no, demanded it from...from..." I pictured the man in my mind; his strong and elegant face, his sculpted body. I saw his hair with its coppery glint every time the sun touched it. I envisioned his jaw somewhat square and offsetting it his, wide, full mouth and almost feminine lips. And his eyes, "Oh, his eyes," and I couldn't settle on a color...were they blue or green or brown I wondered.

There were so many unwelcome images in my head. I knew I needed to sleep so I could spend the day looking for work and tried to force the memory of the dream from my mind. The harder I tried, though, the more it persisted and the more guilt-ridden I became. The strange desire I experienced when he kissed me seemed to sweep over me again and I absently caressed myself remembering the thrill of his touch.

"No, no...Oh, God, what is happening to me?" I looked over at Christopher and started to cry as I crawled from the bed and hurried from the room.

I gathered one of our extra blankets from the closet and wrapped it around my shoulders as I paced the living room floor berating myself. After a few minutes something strange happened. It felt as though a hand reached out and brushed my cheek washing away all the worry and fear I felt melting it into insignificance. My eyes grew heavy and the tension seemed to slide from my shoulders. It slipped down my back and pooled at my feet. Then I stepped away from it and left it all behind.

Without another thought I went back to bed, laid my head down and once again fell fast asleep.

##  Chapter Four

The sun woke me the following morning and after such a good night's sleep I felt much better about our circumstances. I didn't remember the strange dream I had or Christopher waking me. He was already up and playing quietly in the living room with one of his toy cars as I got ready to start the day.

"Good morning, sweetheart," I kissed the top of his head when I went to check on him, "are you hungry?"

"I'm starving!" he answered.

It made me laugh and I rolled my eyes at him. "I'll make us some breakfast and let you know when it's ready."

I went to the kitchen and scrambled an egg and fried two strips of bacon for Christopher. Though I was a little hungry, too, I decided not to eat any breakfast. Until things were a little more certain I planned to stretch our stores as long as possible. I set the table for him and made coffee for myself before calling to Chris. While he ate, I told him I would need to go out right away and he would need to spend the day with Justine again. He gathered his face into an angry scowl and crossed his arms before stating that he wouldn't go, that he didn't like Justine any more.

"Oh," I raised my eyebrows at the declaration, "why is that?"

"She said that Daddy made Uncle Stephen go away and they were never coming back."

"Oh," I sighed and tried to imagine the conversation that at nearly 4 years old the two of them must have had. I tried to sound sympathetic, "Is that why you got into a fight?"

Christopher nodded.

"I see. Well, Justine is partly right, but she is wrong, too. Daddy did talk to Stephen and to a lot of other men, too, and told them how important it was they go away. There are some people in trouble very far from here and since Daddy and Stephen are so strong, they have gone to help them. Daddy and Stephen are both coming back just as soon as they can. Kate and I will talk to Justine, I'm sure she just doesn't understand. I'm sure she will apologize if you will, too."

Christopher looked skeptical but agreed to apologize if Justine did too. He finished his breakfast and I told him to pick out a toy to bring with him to share with Justine while I got dressed and ready. It was almost 9 o'clock when I knocked on Kate's door and asked her if she would look after Christopher while I went out for a while. She wondered if everything was alright and thankfully didn't press me when I told her I needed to run a few errands.

"May I come in for a minute? Christopher told me why he and Justine got into a fight. I was hoping we could all talk and help them make up."

"Of course," she motioned me in, "Justine, would you come here a minute?"

We all sat around the kitchen table and I explained to Justine in as similar terms as I had used on Christopher why her Daddy had gone away. She seemed relieved and satisfied with the explanation and when we suggested they apologize to one another again, she was the first to offer hers. She kissed Chris on the cheek and said she was very sorry as she hugged him.

"I'm sorry, too," Christopher kissed her back then Justine grasped his hand and dragged him off to play.

"That went well," I smiled at Kate.

"You explained it well," she said. "So when do you think you will be back?"

"I'll come back around lunchtime, but I may need to go out again, if it's not too much trouble for you."

"No, we'll be fine. Are you sure everything is alright?"

I was still terribly ashamed about the accident and wasn't ready to share the story yet. I reassured her as best I could without telling an outright lie. Afterwards I said a hasty goodbye to her and Chris then hurried away. I stopped at my apartment for a quick check in the mirror before I headed down the stairs and out the front door. There was a car parked along the curb and I recognized it as soon as I saw it. My heart skipped a beat and I wondered what it meant.

I peered into the passenger's seat and saw that there was no one there. Then the driver hopped out and tipped his hat, "Ms. Denning?"

"Mrs...yes?"

He came around the car and pulled a shiny, new wagon from the back seat.

"Oh, sir, I can't, I couldn't...It was my fault. It wouldn't be right for me to take this."

"Mr. Bergeron believed you might say that. Here," he handed me a letter.

My hands trembled as I tentatively reached for it, "Bergeron, I know that name," I said to myself.

"He sends his regrets that he couldn't deliver it in person, but he left early this morning and won't be back for some time. He also asked me to wait until you've read the letter. There's somewhere he would like me to take you if you'd be willing to come."

"Willing? Was this the same man that had cursed so vehemently at me a day ago? Why would he think I would go anywhere with him after such a tirade?" I wondered.

I shook my head no, but there was a sincere gleam of regret and apology in the driver's eyes.

"Perhaps if you would read the letter first. Please," he implored.

I wanted to stick to my first impulse and refuse, but his expression softened my resolve. I turned away and peeled the note open.

Dearest Mademoiselle Denning,

Firstly, you cannot imagine my regret at not being able to present this to you in person and I hope that you will forgive my absence. In regards to the events of yesterday evening; it is my firm belief that when an accident such as ours occurs it can be the fault of no one for it was indeed an accident and not purposefully done by either party. You mustn't blame yourself and accept responsibility for what Providence dictates for it will only burden you with regret for the past when you should be looking hopeful towards the future.

However, if you sincerely feel at fault and are determined to take responsibility then I must instead suggest that it would not be fair for you to refuse my gift on your son's behalf. He was an innocent bystander and should not be punished for your mistake.

Though I grew a little angry and resentful at the phrasing, it was an argument I could not win.

And besides if you act in protest to my attempt at remedying this misfortune it will only encourage me and I will resort to deception and duplicity to ensure that my heartfelt obligation to you is fulfilled.

I sensed the humor and apology in the statement and my irritation dissolved. I smiled as I read on:

If you still feel unable to accept my generosity then consider it a favor one you can return by being so kind as to go with my driver. He will put forward an idea; a way for you to return the favor and for us to each make amends one to the other. It is my hope that you will find it a suitable resolution to the conundrum we have found ourselves in so, please, Ms. Denning, do me this great privilège.

Sincères Regards,

G. Bergeron

I refolded the letter and turned to the driver, "Mr. Bergeron is very persuasive."

"He is indeed. Will you come with me then?"

I sighed, and though I knew I should put all my energy into finding a job above anything else, my curiosity was too much for me.

"Yes," I nodded, "but first, you must tell me your name so you won't seem so much a stranger."

He smiled and bowed, everything about him changed in that instant. He no longer seemed as menacing as he had during my first impressions of him. I looked him over while I waited for his reply. He was an older gentleman perhaps in his 40's or early 50's and stood about 6 feet tall. His hair was dark and peppery and his eyes were a rich hazel. His mouth was thin and his face with its wide forehead and sharp jaw gave the impression of someone who could be very stern. Whenever he smiled, though, he seemed warm and sincere. "It's Deaglan," he pronounced it Decklan, "Deaglan O'Donnell and I am at your service." He opened the door and as I stepped towards it, offered to hand me in.

I had never ridden in a car before and though I was nervous, I was giddy with excitement, too. I tried to hide my enthusiasm as he pulled from the curb. While he drove I thought about Chris and what a treat it would have been for him if he had been there with me. Then I thought of Robert. I wondered how disappointed and angry he would be if he knew I was riding alone in a car with a virtual stranger under such peculiar circumstances.

It was an uncomfortable idea and I hated that I judged so many of my decisions on what Robert would think. Robert was not there and he had left me with very few resources telling me only to fend for myself and Christopher as best I could or go home. As I was reflecting on this, I decided he must have known or at least believed that I didn't have any real, practical skills. There wasn't much I could do to help carry us through what might be a long period of self-reliance.

"Robert must have been confident I would end up going home." I said to myself. I wondered if that was why he had so little hesitation about leaving us. It was a difficult idea to escape, so I tried to turn my attention by focusing on the moment. Even though I was a little uneasy, it felt liberating to not have Robert there scrutinizing the choice I had made.

We didn't go very far. After just a few minutes of watching the city zip past the window, Deaglan stopped at one of the many piers lining the bay.

"This is near Rowes Wharf," he motioned to his left as he helped me out.

I looked around and took it all in, suddenly I knew why the name Bergeron sounded familiar, "Mr. Bergeron must be the Mr. Bergeron – Bergeron Imports and Exports, Ltd.," I said to myself. Half the men in my tenement worked for him.

"This is the busiest section of the bay; not only with cargo workers, but there are passenger liners and immigrant ships coming and going. If we cross Atlantic Avenue here we come to Merchant's Row. Mr. Bergeron has offices above and shops below in several of the buildings there to your right," he pointed. Deaglan held his arm out, "This way," and he led me across the street and to the row of buildings he had just showed me.

Once we were on the opposite side, he motioned me toward the left. We passed two or three shops then Deaglan stopped in front of one that had the front windows covered with heavy tarps. He took a ring of keys from his pocket. While he fumbled with the lock, I peered over his shoulder. I tried to catch a glimpse of whatever was beyond the front door but with the tarps over the windows it was too dark to make anything out. Deaglan led me in then went around the front room and switched the light fixtures on.

"Oh," I smiled in realization. We were in a restaurant.

There were tables with crisp, white cloths dotting the dining room; some with seating for two and some for four or more. Built into the back wall was a lengthy bar with stools stationed at precise intervals along it. Behind the bar was a wide window that looked into the kitchen so it must have been there to pass the meals through once the cooks finished preparing them. From there they could be sent to the patrons in the dining area. To the right of the bar there were two swinging doors that led to the kitchen area and to the left a short passage leading to the office and restrooms. The whole setting was simple, neat and to my eyes quite new.

I wasn't sure why Deaglan had brought me there since the restaurant didn't appear to be or ever have been open. All it seemed to lack was a staff. I turned to Deaglan, "I don't understand?"

"Well, you see, this is a project Mr. Bergeron was working on before he left. He had hoped to open this week but some unexpected business called him away. He didn't have a chance to find a staff and someone to run it for him. Now that he is gone, well, the task must be given to someone else."

Deaglan saw the understanding in my eyes and went on, "Mr. Bergeron saw your pies and guessed what you intended to do with them. He believes you are in need just as he is and fate has decided that you should help one another."

"Oh, but, no, I couldn't! I wouldn't know where to begin, what to do!"

"I will help you. While Mr. Bergeron is away, there isn't much else for me to do. He told me everything we would need in order to get started. There isn't much to it, really. Once we hire someone to cook, someone to clean and a handful of others to serve the food our responsibilities would be merely to oversee it all; to make sure there are people here and that they are doing their jobs."

He made it sound so simplistic, but I knew that there was much more to running a business, any business, and I did not have the qualifications to do it.

I shook my head and wondered what sort of man Mr. Bergeron was. I wondered why he would take such a flagrant risk with something he had put so much thought and effort into.

"Why would he trust me with this when we've never even met? I might be a simpleton for all he knows; I did nearly kill myself, after all, walking across the street the other day."

"What he saw was ambition and a will to succeed," Deaglan assured me.

I had never heard myself spoken of in such a way and despite my reservations was proud of the compliment.

"There is an alternative."

"Oh?"

Deaglan looked as though he regretted what he had said, "Mr. Bergeron told me not to persuade you, that the choice must be yours and freely made, but..."

"But?"

"Well, you have your son's wagon back and if you prefer I can help you with whatever supplies you might need. You can refuse his offer if you like, but..."

"But?" I looked imploringly toward him and waited for him to finish his thought.

"Winter is coming, Mrs. Denning. Do you really want to bake pies and stand out in the cold selling them when you could be comfortable here? And think of your son if you didn't have someone to look after him. Would you want him to suffer alongside you when it's absolutely unnecessary?"

I hung my head in defeat, "I see Mr. Bergeron is not the only one with the gift of persuasion."

Deaglan chuckled, "He is an excellent teacher." Then he held his hand out, "Shall we shake on it?"

I smiled, "Yes, I guess we'd better before I change my mind."

"Come," he cocked his head towards the front door and had me stand in front of one of the covered windows. Deaglan smiled, "Would you do the honors?" he put a corner of the tarp in my hand.

I gave it a hearty tug and let it fall to the ground.

## Chapter Five

"Le Perdu et Retrouvé," I read the etching on the window. There was a translation underneath in a much finer print, "The Lost and Found," I cocked my head, "it's oddly inviting. Is Mr. Bergeron French?"

"Oui, il est, et vous êtes aussi."

"I'm sorry?"

"I said yes, he is, and you are, too. Valerie is a French name if I am not mistaken."

"It is, but I'm only half French. My grandmother was from France, and my mother was born there, too. She immigrated when she was young. My father is English but always insisted, "We are Americans," and that was how my parents taught me to think of myself. French is a pretty language, though. I would have liked to learn but my mother agreed with my father and never encouraged us to speak anything but English." I cocked my head at him, "You seem to speak it very well, especially for an Irishman."

"Gabri...Mr. Bergeron travels a lot and it was necessary for me to learn; French, Spanish, German, even a bit of Italian," Deaglan looked thoughtful for a moment, "Grazie per aver accettato le mie scuse!"

I laughed, "You probably called me a cow, but it sounded much nicer!"

"No, I said thank you...thank you for accepting my apology."

I felt a little embarrassed and looked away. It seemed much later than I had intended to stay out and I used the excuse to change the subject. "I told my neighbor I would be home by lunchtime. She's watching Christopher for me, and I really should get back."

"Of course," Deaglan folded up the tarp and tucked it under his left arm then offered me his right.

As we walked my stomach rumbled and hoped that Deaglan didn't notice. I sensed that he was looking down at me as we walked and when it happened again, he stopped mid-stride. "Are you hungry? When was the last time you had something to eat?"

"Oh, just this morning," I fibbed and took another step. "Gabriel, is that Mr. Bergeron's first name? It sounded like you started to call him that."

"Yes, Gabriel," Deaglan stated flatly, "why did you lie to me?"

"Huh?" I feigned ignorance, "What do you mean by that?"

He stopped and forced me to meet his eyes, "We can't be like this if we are going to work together. I have already started us off on the wrong foot and Mr. Bergeron would never forgive me if I didn't help you when I knew I should. He is a generous man, Ms. Denning. He would consider it a terrible affront to his character if you refused to accept his help especially now that you are so connected with him."

"I...I had soup for dinner last night."

"And nothing else since?" Deaglan was aghast. "I'll take you to lunch," and as if it were a decided thing resumed walking toward the car.

"No, I really need to get home," I was adamant as I worried over Christopher.

"Then I will take you home first, and you can bring your son, but I won't let you out of my sight until I know you have eaten."

Deaglan tucked me into the car and drove us back to my apartment. I didn't want to explain him to Kate, so I asked him to wait outside. He reluctantly agreed but made me promise to come back down as soon as I collected Christopher and said goodbye to my friend.

"If you're not back soon, I'll come looking for you!" He said it jokingly but I knew he meant what he said. His expression assured me that he intended to hold me to my promise.

I sped up to Kate's apartment and thanked her for watching Chris. She tried to ask me a handful of questions, but I told her it would have to wait. I explained that someone was waiting to take me and Chris to lunch and we would come see her as soon as we were back.

"Lunch?" she frowned.

I smiled and thanked her again for looking after Chris. "As soon as I get back, I'll tell you the whole story. I promise." I waved over my shoulder and guided Christopher to the top of the stairs.

Deaglan was leaning against the car waiting for us and came around to introduce himself as soon as we were outside.

"Hello, Christopher, I'm Deaglan."

"Mr. O'Donnell," I corrected.

"It's nice to meet you Mr. O'Donnell," Chris looked nervous but held his hand out anyway.

"It's nice to meet you Mr. Denning," Deaglan bent down and took Chris' hand.

"Mr. O'Donnell was very sorry about your wagon and look," I pointed, "he has brought you a new one!"

Christopher looked doubtful, but Deaglan smiled and assured him that what I said was true.

"Mr. O'Donnell would like to take us to lunch, too. Are you hungry?"

Chris nodded enthusiastically.

"Well, right this way," Deaglan said as he opened the passenger door. He urged Chris to take a seat.

Christopher looked up at me in disbelief, "Go ahead, sweetie. Hop in."

Before long we were on our way. Chris sat awestruck for the entire ride. He had his face pressed to the window from the time Deaglan pulled from our curb until he stopped in front of a little café in the North End. He helped us out and led us inside. It was late for lunch so there weren't any other patrons and after we seated ourselves a waiter greeted us right away. The menu was in Italian so I had to trust Deaglan when he ordered for the three of us.

Near the end of our meal I looked up and saw someone approaching our table. "Oh, Mr. O'Donnell, how good to see you again," the owner came over and shook Deaglan's hand. "Will Mr. Bergeron be joining you this fine day?"

"Oh, no, Eddie, he's travelling on business but I'm sure he'll come visit you as soon as he gets back."

"Ah, I see, and who are your guests?" Eddie asked while he examined me and Chris.

"This is Mrs. Valerie Denning and Mr. Christopher Denning."

I held my hand out to shake but Eddie turned it over and with a playful grin, brushed the back of my hand with a kiss. I blushed like a schoolgirl as he faced Deaglan and said something to him in Italian while rolling his eyes skywards. Deaglan made a rapid reply with a little chuckle then Eddie turned and walked away.

"Don't be embarrassed," Deaglan said, "it's just his way. He is a born romantic and can't hold his tongue whenever he sees a pretty woman." His explanation only intensified my embarrassment and I frantically looked away. "I'm sorry," Deaglan said, "but it was a compliment. He didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. How was your lunch, Christopher? Did you save room for dessert?"

Chris' eyes lit up and he looked at me for approval.

"I think he's had enough for one..." but before I could finish what I intended to say Eddie reappeared with three small bowls of gelato.

"For Mr. Bergeron's especial guests! Just made this morning!" he placed them one for each of us.

"Grazie," Deaglan took the first bite, "Mmm, delizioso," he sighed and nodded to Eddie. Afterwards he turned and encouraged me and Chris, "Hurry and try some, before it melts!"

I had only had ice cream once or twice. This kind of generosity was new to me and though I felt an impulse to refuse, Deaglan and Eddie looked insistent. Gathering a tiny spoonful I tried a taste. It was heavenly, and I smiled as it melted on my tongue and slid down my throat.

"Oh," my eyes lit up, "oh, it's wonderful," I exclaimed and Eddie grinned at me full of satisfaction.

Christopher didn't need to be persuaded and had already finished his by the time I had my third or fourth spoonful. He looked like he was about to lick the bowl so I offered him the rest of mine and whispered in his ear to remember his manners.

Once Deaglan and Chris had scraped their bowls clean Deaglan asked for the check.

"No, no," Eddie shook his head vehemently; "it was my honor."

Deaglan looked down and sighed, "Grazie," he replied.

We said goodbye and as soon as Eddie turned away Deaglan took a folded bill and tucked it under his bowl, "Let's go, before he sees."

I smiled and helped Chris from his chair. As we pulled away, I heard Eddie cursing from where he stood in the doorway and saw Deaglan smiling at his dismay in the mirror. "He's a very proud man, that one!"

Deaglan stopped at the grocer before bringing us home. "I want you to buy whatever you need, and if you don't I will make the choices for you and stock your pantry myself," he challenged my exasperated protests.

"Why, Mr. O'Donnell, why are you doing this?"

"Mr. Bergeron, Ms...Mrs. Denning, not me. Everything I do, I do in his name. He...you don't know him, and he is hard to understand. I assure you, though, this...this is what he would expect, no, what he would demand if he were here."

I wondered how I would ever repay them. "When will Mr. Bergeron be back?" I asked, hoping I wouldn't have to wait too long to thank him and make amends.

Deaglan looked somewhat pained by my question and I felt like I had touched a nerve. He shook his head, "I'm not sure, Mrs. Denning, I honestly don't know. It was sudden and unexpected. He wouldn't..." he hesitated, "he seemed upset and determined to be off as soon as he could. He didn't offer a reason. His only instructions were to apologize to you and if you refused his offer, to help you however I could." Deaglan looked away, "I shouldn't have told you."

"No, perhaps you shouldn't have," I leaned over and took Chris' hand in mine. "I don't understand; I can't imagine any reason he would feel so strongly about making things right. The wagon would have been more than enough."

"Well, like I said he is hard to understand, but everything he does he does with purpose. Nothing is ever done unless it's done absolutely."

I wasn't sure what to say and sighed in utter confusion as I looked away.

Deaglan brought us home and helped carry Chris' new wagon and all the groceries up to the apartment. He wished us a good night and said he would be by first thing Monday morning so we could get started on our new venture.

## Chapter Six

By December I had been working for Mr. Bergeron for nearly 3 months and all my initial fears at running his restaurant had dwindled into insignificance. Deaglan guided me through all our responsibilities and was patient and insightful when I asked questions or made my own suggestions. He and I hired the necessary staff; most of whom had either been in the restaurant business before or were already employees of Mr. Bergeron's that wanted a change. The more experienced of the workers walked the lesser ones through everything their positions entailed and everything that would be expected of them once they assumed their roles.

Things seemed to fall remarkably into place and I noticed that anyone who had a previous relationship with Mr. Bergeron had nothing but the highest regard for him. I grew more and more curious about him and their descriptions always stirred my interest. Sometimes I wanted to ask Deaglan to tell me more about Gabriel and what he was like. I knew I shouldn't be so fascinated by a man I never met and one other than my husband so I checked my curiosity and did my best to stay indifferent.

Sometimes I wondered if he knew or suspected how often I wondered about Mr. Bergeron. Every once in a while I caught Deaglan studying me with an expression I just didn't understand. It wasn't unsettling but I could never think of a way to describe it either. I considered mentioning it but Deaglan had a way of changing the subject. If I caught him watching me with the odd look, he would distract me somehow and I would forget all about my questions.

"Maybe he just feels sorry for me," I eventually decided. From then on I tossed him a reassuring smile whenever it happened and tried not to let it bother me.

I grew to like and genuinely admired Deaglan. He didn't talk about himself very much but over time I began to think of him more as a friend than a business partner. It was nice to have someone treat me as an equal and though I didn't learn a lot about him I did learn a lot from him. Once I was comfortable with the day-to-day duties and the restaurant was running smoothly he taught me how to do the bookkeeping. We would often work in the office together at the end of each shift and between our factoring and figuring talk about the day we each had.

On one of those occasions he mentioned that he had heard from Gabriel and when he brought him up, it was hard to hide my excitement. I hoped that Mr. Bergeron said he planned to come back and that I might soon have the chance to meet him.

"He asked me how you were doing and whether you are happy with the way everything has turned out."

"I'm more than happy and can't thank either of you enough for what you've done for me. I only hope..." suddenly I was a little nervous that Deaglan's odd looks might have meant I was not doing well and not meeting Mr. Bergeron's expectations. Then I wondered if Gabriel hoped I was unhappy and might voluntarily leave so Deaglan wouldn't have to fire me.

"If you are worried about his impressions of you I have had nothing but praise. Gabriel has been congratulating himself ever since he found you."

I let out a sigh of relief then asked sounding a bit too hopeful, "Has he said when he will be back?"

"No," Deaglan shook his head sadly, "He hasn't. I'm not sure he intends to return."

I tried to hide my disappointment. "Well, with so many competent people so eager to work for him I'm sure he sees no urgency." Though I wanted to continue the conversation and hear more about Gabriel I shrugged and turned my attention back to the ledger.

"Maybe you're right," Deaglan sighed, "but I can't help thinking there's something else. His letters lately have had a...a sense of ambiguity to them. I can't decide if he is keeping something from me or if he is looking for something from me without asking."

My heart fluttered and I looked back up, "You can sense that from his letters?"

Deaglan smiled, "I have known Gabriel nearly all his life and I like to think that I can. He's never kept anything from me, though, so maybe I'm just letting my imagination get the better of me." Deaglan paused, "You must get letters from your husband; do you ever sense he is not the same person he was when he left?"

The color drained from my face as I considered his question. "No, I don't think Robert has changed at all." I wanted to add but I have and instead swallowed the lump in my throat.

Since Robert left I had learned so much about myself. Before the restaurant my only skills were domestic. I never considered the possibility of working and of independence. I relied on my family and then on Robert never knowing the potential for so much more could be had with some confidence and a little hard work.

So far I hadn't told Robert exactly what I was doing and precisely who I worked for. I was sure he would recognize Mr. Bergeron's name. If I told Robert he was my employer, I knew he would ask me questions I wouldn't be comfortable answering. I sat wondering how I would explain it all to Rob when he got back and whether he would applaud my accomplishments or condemn them. Part of me believed he would approve. The other imagined he would be too proud to let me continue working and would insist I give it all up once he was home.

"Are you alright?" Deaglan rested a hand on my shoulder when I stopped adding up the day's figures and sat there considering the possibilities.

"Oh, yes. Of course. I lost myself wondering about Robert."

"Hmm," he said as I looked up at him. He had that strange expression in his eyes, he smiled sadly, "It must be hard having someone you love so far away and to live with so much uncertainty."

"Yes, but thankfully I have Chris and all you and Mr. Bergeron have given me," I tried to sound reassuring and optimistic.

When I went home that night Chris and I ate a quiet dinner together. Afterwards I tucked him in and decided I might as well get ready for bed, too. I couldn't sleep though and sat up late wondering about the future. It had been 4 months since Robert left and I hadn't missed him at all. The first week I devoted to Christopher and keeping him happy and occupied. Then I put my energy into finding a job and as unlikely as it seemed, found a situation almost too good to be true.

Working at The Lost and Found made me realize how nice it was to earn my own money and to spend it however I saw fit. I didn't have to stick to Robert's strict budget or ask for any of the things I needed. I wasn't sure how much Robert made but I suspected I earned more. We seldom had extra before I started working. After I followed his instructions and paid all our bills, I still had some to put aside and treat Chris and myself to a little luxury each week.

"How will I give it up once Robert is back?"

I didn't think I could; the restaurant meant too much to me, and I had learned so much and wanted to learn more. Working made me happy and doing well at work grew to mean just as much as being a good wife and mother and homemaker.

Suddenly my mind suggested something that would have been unthinkable before August and Robert's enlistment.

"Maybe he won't come back," I whispered. My heart leapt at the idea though I shamefully buried my face in my hands. I prayed that God would forgive me for having such a profane thought. Despite the regret I felt I couldn't stop my mind from winding its way along the murky path it was on.

"I could go away, before Robert came back. No, no, what is wrong with me?!" I tried to shake myself free of the unwanted scenarios that presented themselves one after the other. Before I knew it I was sobbing and crying and unable to control myself.

Eventually I cried all I could and when I finally stopped, I made my way to the bathroom and freshened up before heading back to bed. Exhausted I fell into a fitful sleep and dreamt of what my life might have been like if I hadn't relented and married Robert. I hated myself knowing what he must be going through and how heartless it was for me to feel the way I did. And what of Christopher; without Robert I would never have had him and I loved Chris more than anything. I wanted to give him a better life than mine and couldn't imagine how I would do that without Robert.

After a while the whirlwind in my mind seemed to die down and I stopped tossing and turning.

The next morning I woke up with the night still weighing heavily on me. I planned to bring Christopher to work with me so I tried to lift my spirits. I looked forward to spending the day with him and having him help me at the restaurant. Chris had already gone in with me a handful of times as Kate got further along in her pregnancy. I didn't want to impose on her any more than I had to and I didn't have many other options.

He was always friendly and well-mannered while he was there and the staff made him feel welcome. If it wasn't too busy he would sit at one of the corner tables and play while I worked. The staff would help keep an eye on him and spend a minute or two talking to him or entertaining him while they worked. We also had one of the small dining tables in the office. If the restaurant got too crowded, I would bring him with me and work there so he wouldn't be in the way. He would sit quietly coloring or making believe with his cars while I did the books. After the first few times went so well, I didn't feel at all hesitant about bringing him along.

It was busier than usual that day and one of the cooks didn't show up. Chris was antsy so things didn't go quite as well as I hoped. Deaglan had errands he wanted to run and didn't plan on staying. He hung around for an hour or two sitting with Chris in the dining room though. He tried to distract him for me and kept him busy while I helped out in the kitchen. Eventually Deaglan came and said he had to leave; it looked like it might get stormy as the afternoon wore on and he wanted to get everything he needed done before then.

I felt frustrated because of the way things had been going in the kitchen but it all seemed under control for the moment. I took my apron off and followed Deaglan out to the dining room to check on Chris. While we walked I glanced over Deaglan's shoulder and it was just in time to see Chris throw his chair back. He hopped down to pick up the toy top he was playing with and that had spun off the table onto the floor. A waiter passed by carrying a tray laden with drinks for one of the larger parties and stumbled over him. Then it all came crashing down, the drinks, the tray, the waiter and Chris.

I brushed by Deaglan and grabbed Christopher by the sleeve and scolded him before I realized what I was doing.

"Valerie," Deaglan called from behind.

"What," I turned my wrath on him but suddenly lost all my anger. I surveyed all the anxious faces that were watching us and buried my face in shame.

"I'll get this," Deaglan soothed me. "Go, take a minute to yourself in the office."

He didn't have to tell me twice and after apologizing to Chris and kissing his teary cheek, I scurried away. Several minutes later Deaglan knocked on the office door and I let him in. I apologized at once, "I don't know what came over me," I said. "I have never raised my voice to him, or anyone for that matter and certainly never over something so insignificant."

"You don't need to apologize," Deaglan shook his head in understanding. "Listen, why don't I take Chris with me? I'd offer to stay but I really need to get these things done. I promise he won't be in the way and a little adventure might help distract him. Who knows maybe he will forget and forgive all of this by the time we're back."

"Oh," the offer surprised me. "I guess that would be alright," I cautiously said. For a moment I wondered if Deaglan could actually be trusted with Chris on his own but I realized the good sense in what he said. I told myself it would only be for a few hours and it might be nice for them to spend a little time together.

"Good, I'll come by when it's time for you to go home," he opened the door and Chris came in to say goodbye.

I apologized to Christopher and made him promise to behave while he was out. He seemed hesitant to leave, but Deaglan whispered something that sounded very much like gelato to him and suddenly they couldn't wait to be off.

I was still a little remorseful for what had happened in the dining room. After they left I opted to stay in the office rather than face any of the staff or patrons that might have seen the incident. I pulled out the ledger and scribbled down facts and figures from prior days that week. The time went by fast. I didn't realize how late it was until one of the waitresses rapped on the office door and I took a quick glance at the clock.

"Come in," I called.

"Sorry to bother you Ms. Valerie."

"It's fine Suzanne. Is there something you need?" I asked.

"The staff would like to know if it would be alright to leave off a little early."

I raised my eyebrows, "Oh, why is that?"

"There's a big storm rolling in and we haven't had a customer in nearly an hour."

"Really?" it surprised me that no one came to me sooner.

I pushed my chair away from the desk and followed Suzanne out to the dining room. It was very dark outside, so much so that the staff had turned all the dining room lights on. I could see the storm rolling in from beyond the bay. It seemed to be moving quickly and I guessed it wouldn't be much longer before it hit so I decided not to take any chances. The streets were fairly empty. The few people that passed by were hurrying to get to wherever they needed to be before the dark clouds dropped either snow or rain or both on them.

I dismissed the staff, but as the last of the cooks was about to leave someone walked into the restaurant.

"Are you open?"

I hadn't had a chance to flip the sign and shut the blinds. "Oh, uh, we were..." I tried to explain that we were about to close but he wasn't looking at me, he was looking at the cook.

It was odd the way the stranger steadily gazed at him and even odder still when John answered. "I can fix you up something quick," he glanced my way, "if it's alright with Ms. Valerie, here."

"I...I..." then the stranger turned his eyes on me. Though I wanted to take back the cooks offer to make something, I lost my resolve. "Of course, John," I said, "if you're sure you don't mind staying." He nodded and headed to the kitchen, "Is there anything particular you would like," I asked as the gentleman took a seat in the center of the dining room.

"No," his smile was full of charm "but if you happen to have some claret on hand, the rest can be a surprise."

"I do, actually," and I went behind the bar and poured a glass for him.

He looked around the dining area taking it all in. When I came back and handed him the glass, he asked me if I was the owner.

"Oh, no sir, I manage it along with a partner for a gentleman named Mr. Bergeron."

"Bergeron, the importer?" he asked his voice full of curiosity.

"Indeed, the very," I smiled and again tried to turn away.

"Is he here now?"

I stopped mid-stride; there was something about his voice that caused a ripple of fear to run through me, "No, sir, I'm afraid he's out of town on business."

"Any idea where?" he took a casual sip of his wine.

I didn't know where Mr. Bergeron was and I wasn't sure I would tell the gentleman even if I did. As I considered how to respond John returned from the kitchen and placed an entrée before him.

"Let me get you some silverware," I mumbled anxious to be away from the stranger and his compelling voice and eyes.

I took my time hoping to shake the anxiety I felt. While I stepped away John had gathered his things and was making his way toward the front door.

"Goodnight Ms. Valerie," he called over his shoulder as if it was the most natural thing in the world for him to be leaving just then.

I tried to call him back, but the storm had already begun and he must not have heard me over the torrents of rain that were splattering on the sidewalk. I started toward the door and dropped the silverware on the gentleman's table as I passed by. It was too late, though, and when I peered left and right, I couldn't see any sign of John.

Before I turned back to the gentleman, I took a deep breath hoping not to look so defeated and concerned about being there alone with him. I prayed he wouldn't notice my discomfort as he enjoyed his meal.

"This is quite good," he wiped his mouth and sipped his wine. "It would be infinitely better though, if I had some company." I found myself taking the empty seat across from him.

"So, Valerie, is it?" I nodded.

"I'm Gavin, Gavin Delacroix," he held his hand out. "It is very nice to meet you Valérie," he said it quite sincerely but there was a puzzling look in his eyes; a look of disbelief if I had to guess.

Somewhat reluctantly I took his hand.

"Are you uncomfortable?"

It seemed useless to deny it, "Yes," I answered.

He held my hand across the table, "You needn't be. I assure you."

He ran his fingers across mine and all my tension and apprehension seemed to loosen its grip.

Gavin motioned to the wine, "Why don't you pour a glass for yourself?"

I glanced over my shoulder and excused myself thinking the suggestion a good one. I gathered the bottle and a glass from the bar and wandered back to the table.

"Here, let me," he took the bottle and poured for me.

"Thank you," I whispered.

He nodded then looking thoughtful pushed his plate aside. He raised his glass, "What shall we drink to, hmm?"

I wanted to look away but couldn't pull my gaze from his. His eyes were so vibrant, such an unusual shade of blue. He looked familiar somehow.

"I know," Gavin said, "to the munificent Mr. Bergeron," he chinked his glass against mine. I took a generous sip, but still couldn't pull my eyes away, "Now then," his voice darkened, "where is he, where is Gabriel?"

There was an odd tingling in my mind and though I desperately wanted to tell the gentleman where Gabriel was I honestly didn't know. "I'm sorry Mr. Delacroix; I don't know where he is."

The front door swung wide and when I turned to see who had come in the sensation disappeared. "Valerie, why are you here alone? Where is the rest of the staff?" Deaglan hurried toward the table. Gavin turned away as Deaglan approached and I was certain Gavin was trying to avoid eye contact and that he didn't want to be seen.

When Deaglan was a step or two from where we sat he stopped seemingly frozen in place and appeared disoriented. Gavin pushed his chair back. "Thank you for the meal, Valerie, and your company," he dropped a small bundle of bills on the table. "I hope to enjoy it again...soon," he brushed by Deaglan.

As Gavin opened the front door Deaglan came to his senses and from what I could tell he was completely unaware of anyone else having been there.

"Valerie?" Deaglan asked again, "Valerie, why are you here alone?"

I didn't know what to say; I wanted to tell Deaglan about the stranger but the words wouldn't come out. "What was his name, Duhaime? Dumont?" I thought to myself. "Oh, I wasn't alone," I said instead, "John left hardly a minute ago. You must have just missed him. I sent everyone home because of the storm. We had a last minute customer and John was still here when he came in so we went ahead and served him." I started clearing the table.

Deaglan noticed the two glasses and the bottle of wine, "Was it someone you knew?"

"No," I shook my head. My mind raced as it tried to come up with a viable excuse for the two glasses. "He didn't like the wine I brought him so I poured a second from a new bottle."

Deaglan nodded and seemed satisfied with my explanation. "Well, Christopher fell asleep in the car. Let's hurry and clean this up so we can get the two of you home."

I finished gathering the glasses and silverware and brought them to the kitchen. When I came back to the dining room Deaglan was putting fresh linens down and arranging the table for me. After he finished Deaglan checked the back door and the office while I drew the blinds and flipped the sign.

The rain had turned to snow by then and I needed to take Deaglan's arm as we hurried to where he parked.

"Did you get your errands done?" I asked after I slumped into the backseat beside Chris.

"Mostly, yes. How did your day go?"

"I was a little...nervous, I guess, about Chris. I hope everything went well."

"It did. We had a good time together," Deaglan gave me one of his rare, heartfelt smiles.

"I'm so glad. Maybe we should take turns and schedule days off for ourselves from time to time. There's no sense in both of us always being there especially since things are running so smoothly."

I was in a much better mood than I had been that afternoon and Deaglan seemed receptive to my idea of taking time off. I imagined myself enjoying a day with Christopher at the park or at the museum or idling about at home, just the two of us. Then my mind went blank, my smile faded and I frowned as I tried to remember what I was thinking about.

Deaglan must have noticed when he glanced at me in the rear-view mirror. "Is something wrong?" he asked.

"No, I...I...feel like something strange happened today and...and I just can't place it. Oh, well," I shrugged.

The snow was piling up and the streets were slippery so Deaglan took his time. Once we were home, he carried Chris and walked me up the front steps before saying goodnight. "If the storm keeps up, there will be no sense in opening tomorrow. Why don't you spend the day with Chris? Let him play in the snow, make some hot cocoa," he suggested, "and I'll go in if things clear up."

"Thanks Deaglan," I grinned as I waved him on his way.

## Chapter Seven

It was almost Christmas and with Robert still away I didn't have as much enthusiasm about celebrating as I had in previous years. I did my best to be cheerful for Chris' sake and even a little for Deaglan's. He didn't seem to have any interest at all in the holiday. As it grew nearer and each day passed he appeared to grow more and more morose and his moodiness made me worry. He was still polite and helpful but so unanimated I couldn't imagine he was the same person I had been working with for the past few months.

I knew he and Mr. Bergeron were close and wondered if Deaglan missed his friendship and his company. When I found the courage, I asked him if he had someone to spend and celebrate Christmas with. He said he didn't have any plans, so I told him that I didn't either. Then with a heartfelt determination I invited Deaglan to have dinner with me and Chris Christmas Eve.

It took every argument I could think of to get Deaglan to accept. Eventually I wore him down and he sighed and shrugged and settled on a time that would be good for both of us. I planned the evening carefully and made one of my pies for the occasion. I thought it would be fun to remind him how we met and it might give us a little something to talk and reminisce about.

After all his years working with and for Mr. Bergeron, I was sure Deaglan lived quite well and quite comfortably. I was a little apprehensive about having him to our apartment and spent most of the afternoon tidying up. I moved a few things around and tried to make everything appear to its best advantage. Though our flat was small, the furnishings were much nicer than what I had seen in our neighbor's apartments.

We could have afforded a larger unit with bigger rooms but Robert insisted that giving up a little in space and having quality furnishings would serve us better. Every time we had company I knew he was right. He let me choose all the décor and I was proud of what I accomplished with such a limited budget. I looked around and though I had done as much as I could to ensure it, I hoped Deaglan would feel at home during his visit.

Christopher helped me set the table and as I pulled the pie from the oven to cool a little before dinner Deaglan knocked at the door. I tucked my apron away and checked myself in the mirror then hurried to answer it. Christopher wanted to be the first to welcome him so I stood aside as he turned the knob and let Deaglan in.

"Merry Christmas! I'm so glad you made it," I smiled as I helped him with his coat.

Christopher took his hat and gloves and put them near the radiator where I always hung Chris' things so they would be warm and dry whenever he needed them.

Deaglan brushed my cheek with a kiss. "Merry Christmas and thank you for having me," it took some effort but he smiled back. He had two wrapped packages with him one, he handed to Chris and the other he held out to me. Chris tore into his at once and beamed when the paper fell away to show the set of Tinker Toys Deaglan had given him.

"Oh, my! What a wonderful surprise!" I exclaimed. Christopher tried to open them, "Chris, stop for a moment, you're forgetting something."

He placed the canister on the floor and approached Deaglan, "Thank you Mr. O'Donnell," and he held his hand out to shake with him.

"You're very welcome," this time the smile looked natural and sincere. He glanced at me, "Are you going to open yours?"

I peeled the paper away to reveal the cover of a book, "Persuasion by Jane Austen," I read the title aloud. "Persuasion," I laughed as I recalled using the word when Deaglan convinced me to accept Mr. Bergeron's offer. I ran my fingers over the binding and when I looked up saw that Deaglan was looking for some kind of approval or appreciation of his gift.

"Do you remember?" he asked.

"I do. Thank you, Deaglan."

"She is a wonderful author and if you do not love to read now, you will once you have read a book of hers," he nodded with conviction.

I put it on the coffee table and motioned Deaglan to make himself at home while I helped Chris open his new toy. Deaglan gazed around the room then took a step towards a little shelf attached to the wall. He looked over the portraits then picked up a frame that stood in the back row.

He looked it over, "A postcard," he frowned at me questioningly.

"Oh, yes," I laughed. "Chris found it on the sidewalk one day and he was so proud and considered himself so lucky that I couldn't disappoint him and throw it away." I took the picture from Deaglan's hand and studied it for a moment. "I think it struck a chord with me, too. Somehow it reminds me to be happy; that life needn't be so complicated to be fulfilling. I can just imagine a quaint little family there without a care in the world but their own."

The picture on the postcard was of a cottage set somewhere in the countryside with rolling hills and verdant fields that looked ready for harvest. It seemed quiet and peaceful with its whitewashed walls and picket fence; a simple place free from any worldly worries. I put it back in place, "Well, dinner is ready, would you come help me serve?"

Deaglan followed as I led Chris to the kitchen and boosted him up and onto his seat. I grinned when I brought the pie to the table. Deaglan caught the spark of humor in my eyes as I set it down and I wondered if he understood what my intentions were. He didn't say anything but I saw genuine warmth in his expression when he realized what it was. I handed him the knife and while he cut the pie, I poured drinks for each of us. I wasn't sure if I should ask Deaglan to say grace and decided against it. Instead I opted to bend my head over my plate and privately considered what I was thankful for. Chris followed my example, but I wasn't aware one way or the other whether Deaglan did the same.

The conversation seemed forced at first; mostly about work and weather. Christopher grew restless and was eager to get back to his new toy. I let him be excused as soon as he had eaten enough and asked him to play quietly while Deaglan and I finished our dinners. He didn't hesitate and joyously bounded away.

"Such a wonderful gift; thank you so much Deaglan."

He shook his head as if to say my appreciation was unnecessary, "Seeing his face light-up was thanks enough."

We sipped our wine and cleared our plates. He refilled our glasses while I gathered the dirty dishes and when I sat back down Deaglan suggested that we have a toast. He raised his glass as he gazed across the table at me and for a moment the room and everything that was happening seemed to slow and contract. Deaglan said something but I didn't hear what it was because my ears were ringing as he brought his glass to mine. I felt it slip from my fingers and heard it shatter against the floor as I gasped and covered my mouth.

"Valerie?"

I looked up, "Deaglan, I just remembered something; something important. I think Gabri...Mr. Bergeron may be in trouble."

"What?"

I stood up and gathered the pieces of glass. I felt terrified and hated myself for forgetting the strange man who had come to the restaurant looking for Gabriel. Deaglan squatted down beside me and held my hands. I cried without realizing it and couldn't find the words to explain what had happened and why I was so worried.

"Stop, Valerie. Please stop."

I looked up and wiped my tears away then Deaglan grasped my elbows and helped me back to standing. He ushered me to my seat and took the one right beside me.

"Valerie, take a deep breath. Relax. Tell me why you are so upset."

I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself. Once I did it all came tumbling out. I told Deaglan about the day of the storm and how the stranger had come in after everyone but John had gone home. As I explained each incident my memory seemed to become more and more precise. I gave Deaglan a detailed version of the events until the moment he arrived and the stranger casually left without Deaglan ever having noticed him. When I finished telling Deaglan everything I remembered there were several minutes of silent contemplation on both our sides.

"Are you sure you can't recall this gentleman's name?" He asked with a great deal of concern.

My lips trembled and my voice filled with regret, "I don't know Deaglan. I can't...I can't remember; I honestly don't remember but I think it was French. It might have been Gagne or Gagnon or maybe it started with a D; Duhaime? Do you know this man? Does he mean Mr. Bergeron harm?" I asked hopeful that my inner misgivings were false.

"He was probably just a business associate or someone with a proposition for him," Deaglan replied. Though I wanted to believe him, his voice sounded like he was just as concerned as I was.

I wanted to beg him for more assurances but his expression softened and his eyes filled with pity. He could see how uneasy I felt and when he finally spoke again, he reminded me of the Deaglan I had first come to know; the one who replaced Chris' wagon and taken us to lunch and filled our pantry. It was very reassuring to know he was looking out for Gabriel.

"Valerie, don't be so upset. I'm sure it was nothing."

"You don't understand," I said, "I...I..." but I couldn't get anything else out. I wanted to tell Deaglan, confess that, "That what? That I have feelings for Mr. Bergeron; a man I have never even met?" I knew how foolish it sounded and how unlikely Deaglan would respond well to such a revelation.

He had that look in his eye; that strange expression I could never identify. "I understand more than you imagine," he turned his gaze away and reached across table. He picked up his wine glass and before he polished it off said, "I will write to Gabriel and ask him if he knows any such person. Thank you for the dinner; it was lovely."

He stood up and I followed him to the living room. Chris was trying to build a car from the pile of wheels and sticks that came with his set. He had made a fair amount of progress but it was obvious he was tired and would have to put them aside for the night. I told him we needed to say goodnight to Deaglan and he should get ready for bed. He pulled himself away from his toys, hugged Deaglan and thanked him again before running off to change into his pajamas.

I smiled as I watched him go then walked Deaglan to the door, "Thank you for the gifts, thank you for coming tonight." I hung my head, "I'm sorry Deaglan; so sorry I couldn't tell you sooner."

He reached out and tilted my chin forcing me to meet his eyes, "It's not your fault. You need to understand that." There was a long pause and I wondered if there was something else he wanted to tell me but instead he just said, "Goodnight, Valerie. I'll let you know as soon as I hear from Gabriel."

"Thank you, Deaglan," I closed the door behind him.

## Chapter Eight

We closed the restaurant from Christmas through New Year's Day. Before the holiday Deaglan told me all of Mr. Bergeron's businesses would be shut down during the last week of December. It was his custom to give everyone a weeklong vacation with pay as a bonus for all their hard work throughout the year. I was grateful for the time off and tried to catch up on everything I hadn't had time for while I was busy working.

I didn't get as much done as I intended. Worrying about Gabriel thoroughly distracted me and I came up with scenario after scenario of who the stranger was and why he was looking for him. Deaglan promised to write to Mr. Bergeron and to let me know once he heard back. It would take several days before we could expect any news so I tried to be patient. The first few days passed uneventfully. Several more days went by and before I knew it, it was time to reopen the restaurant.

But Deaglan never came to pick me up that Wednesday morning. I waited almost an hour before I heard a knock at my door and certain it was him hurried to answer it.

"Oh, I'm sorry, you must have the wrong apartment," I exclaimed when I opened the front door and found a stranger standing there with his hat in his hand.

As I started closing the door he called out, "Mrs. Denning?"

"Yes," I hesitated.

He handed me a note that I glanced over while Christopher clung to my leg and peered up at the man. It was brief and it looked like he wrote it in a hurry but it was clearly Deaglan's hand. It said he needed to go out of town for a few days. He wasn't sure how long he would be away but he would send someone to drive me to and from the restaurant until then.

"Mr. O'Donnell sent me to take you to work; I'm Niall, Niall Callaghan."

"Mr. O'Donnell has already left then?"

Niall glanced down at Chris before returning his gaze to mine, "Yes," he nodded.

I was a little perplexed and trying to get a handle on my nerves, "It's rather sudden and unexpected; is everything alright? Did Deaglan say anything to you?"

Niall shook his head, "No, Ma'am."

"He didn't say where he was going?" I didn't like the look of his replacement and tried to buy some time while I made up my mind whether to trust him.

"No, Ma'am."

I reread the note to reassure myself it really was Deaglan's writing. There didn't seem to be any reason to distrust it. I considered telling Niall I'd prefer to walk despite the support of Deaglan's letter. Unfortunately I planned on taking Chris and it would have been too far and taken too long for us to get there.

"Well, if you'll give me a moment, we'll be right down."

"If it's all the same, I'd like to wait here for you."

"Of course. We'll just be a minute," I closed the door and sank back against it as I considered what I was about to do. "Chris, why don't you get your Tinker Toys and bring them with you in case we are busy today?"

He ran off and while he fetched them I used the time to bolster my courage against the situation. There seemed little choice but to go with Niall. He was standing to the left of my door when Christopher returned with his toys and we walked out.

"Do you know the way to the restaurant Mr. Callaghan?"

"Yes, I went over it with Deaglan last night."

He fell in behind us and though I wanted to familiarize myself with him, I couldn't think of anything to say. It didn't seem polite to talk to him over my shoulder as he followed us, either. I decided to wait until we were on our way to ask my questions.

Once we neared the car he moved ahead of Chris and I then held the passenger's door while we climbed in. I saw him do a quick scan of our surroundings before gliding into the driver's seat and starting the car.

"Have you known Deaglan long?" I asked when he stopped at the first intersection.

He made a slight guffaw, "I've known him longer than I'd like!" He said it with a great deal of disdain which did little toward diminishing my apprehension.

"We've been working together for months now and I don't think Deaglan's ever mentioned you."

"I'm not surprised," he rolled his eyes.

His short and uninformative responses flustered me but I continued probing for information.

"How do you know Deaglan?"

Niall glared at me in the rearview mirror, "You ask a lot of questions."

"I...I...," I didn't expect him to respond that way, "I'm sorry. I'm just trying to get to know you."

"Deaglan sent me; I'd say you know enough."

I wasn't so sure and thought we couldn't reach Merchant's Row and The Lost and Found soon enough. When we arrived, I thanked him for the ride and told him when I hoped to be finished for the day. Though I assured him it wasn't necessary, Niall insisted on walking us in. Once we were inside, I turned to make my way to the office. I expected him to leave but watched in confusion as Niall took a seat at one of the small tables in the corner of the dining room.

"Oh, are you planning on staying? Would you like me to make you some coffee?"

"Yes, Ma'am, I'm staying. Don't trouble yourself with the coffee though, unless you plan to have some yourself."

"I'll put some on. Are you sure you don't have anywhere else you need to be?" I underwent a renewal of my earlier concern and didn't understand why he seemed so determined to stay.

"Deaglan asked me to stick around, said that I should be on-hand in case you needed me for anything," Niall shrugged nonchalantly.

"I can't imagine why."

"Little things, I guess; heavy lifting, reaching things up high..." he paused before adding suggestively, "unruly customers."

Then I realized Niall wasn't just there to make sure I got back and forth to work, but he was there to protect me, too. I couldn't imagine what Deaglan thought I needed to be kept safe from but it would have been impossible to mistake Niall's meaning. As I stood there, I wondered if I should be afraid.

"Deaglan is overreacting to what I told him about the gentleman who was looking for Mr. Bergeron," I assured myself. "I'll bring you a cup when it's ready," I tried to sound unconcerned as I glanced back and led Chris down the hallway to the office.

The day went by without incident though one or two of the staff asked me about the man in the corner. I explained to them who he was and that he was there to help me while Deaglan was out of town. Their curiosity made me realize having Niall sitting at one of the tables for however long Deaglan would be away might make everyone, employees and customers alike, a little uneasy.

On the drive home I told Niall my thoughts. I assured him I would not object to any directives Deaglan had given him. To set everyone at ease, though, it might be better if he worked while he was at the restaurant. He mulled it over and asked me what I thought he could do that wouldn't interfere with keeping an eye on me.

"Well, when I'm in the dining room you can bus tables. If I'm in the kitchen, you can wash dishes. While I'm working in the office, you can watch Chris."

I saw how distasteful he thought my ideas were as Niall scowled at me in the mirror, "That sounds like woman's work."

"Are you married Mr. Callaghan? I'm sure you wouldn't make a comment like that in front of your wife."

He laughed out loud, "That I wouldn't! Very well, I'll help as I may, but just so we're clear, where you are I am." I withheld from any further rejoinders, clenched my jaw and nodded.

Being stuck indoors all day had worn Chris out and he rested his head on my lap during the drive home. When we got back to our building Niall offered to carry him up, but Chris wouldn't go to him the way he would to Deaglan. Niall gathered his toys and carried them up instead. Chris clung so tightly to me I couldn't pry him loose. I had to have Niall dig the key from my coat pocket and open the door for us.

"Goodnight, Mrs. Denning," he said as he tucked it back into my pocket and pulled the door closed.

"Ugh," I sighed with relief once it was just the two of us. I settled Chris on the couch and wrestled him out of his hat and coat, "Are you hungry, sweetie?"

He took a deep breath, "I guess so," he let it all out.

His expression made me laugh and it was very cathartic after such a surprising and stressful day. "Would you like a hot dog?" It was his new favorite dinner and all I needed to say to get him to recover some of his typical exuberance. "Come," I reached for his hand, "you can help and keep me company."

While we ate Chris asked me about Deaglan and why Mr. Callaghan had driven us instead. I told him that Deaglan had gone to visit a friend but he would be back soon. Then I explained that Niall worked for Deaglan and Deaglan asked him to help us while he was away. I told Chris he shouldn't be afraid of Niall since he was a friend of Deaglan's. Chris seemed satisfied with what I told him and said he would try not to be scared of Mr. Callaghan.

"If Daddy were here, he could drive us."

"Yes, he could," I smiled across the table. "Do you miss him?" I asked.

"Sometimes, but not as much as I miss you when you're away."

I choked back my tears, "Oh, I miss you, too!" Chris scampered over and crawled onto my lap. "As soon as Deaglan gets back, I'll take a few days off and we can spend them together doing anything you like. You can make all our plans and we'll have the most fun ever!"

"Can we have ice cream again?"

I kissed his cheek, "You bet!"

"Can we go sledding?"

"Of course!"

We went on for several minutes, Chris asking can we, can we, and me assuring him that indeed we could. When he decided we had enough plans, I told him I would make a list after he went to bed so we wouldn't forget everything we wanted to do.

He was so excited by our prospects I didn't think he would ever fall asleep. Once he did, I kissed his forehead and crept away. I made the list like I promised and put it in one of the little cubbies built into the desk so it wouldn't get misplaced. Afterwards I went to the kitchen and made myself a cup of tea.

Now that I was alone and had a chance to think about everything that happened my mind became a whirlwind. I tried to make excuses for Deaglan's sudden departure and why he wanted Niall with me while I worked. I assured myself he was just being cautious and there was nothing for me to worry about. As I settled into a seat at the table and took my first sip of tea, I spotted the book Deaglan had given me lying on the coffee table. I decided to give it a try knowing I wouldn't be able to sleep, anyway.

I brought it to the kitchen to look over while I drank my tea. The time flew by and I only took a few sips before the tea turned too cool and bitter to enjoy. The more I read the more I felt like I knew the characters or some people very like them. Page after page sped by and eventually I realized I needed to get to bed so I brought it with me while I got ready. Afterwards I told myself I would just finish the chapter I was on then put it aside for the night.

Instead I sat up for as long as my eyes would stay open before unwittingly falling asleep with it clutched in my hands.

## Chapter Nine

I woke to the sound of someone knocking at my door and Christopher tugging on my sleeve. I must have fallen asleep without remembering to set my alarm. When I realized what time it was and what was happening, I leapt from my bed and rushed to the door. Niall stood there looking quite frustrated and I blurted out a quick apology and told him I would be ready in five minutes.

"I've been knocking for 5 minutes."

"I'm sorry. Please just 5 minutes," I closed the door and asked Christopher to hurry and get dressed while I did the same.

"But I'm hungry, Momma!" he protested.

"I know, honey, you can eat at the restaurant this morning. I'll have John make something special just for you."

The bribe worked and he trotted off to dress himself. A handful of minutes later we left the apartment and Niall ushered us downstairs and tucked Chris and I into the back of the car. He drove us to the restaurant and when we arrived, I noticed John and a few other workers were there waiting for me to open.

"Ms. Valerie," John stepped up as I fumbled with my keys, "this came for you while we were waiting to get in."

"Oh, thank you, John," I stuffed it into my pocket and unlocked the front door. "I'm sorry I'm late," I said as I motioned everyone inside. "John, I hate to ask, but I promised Christopher breakfast once we got here, would you mind putting something together for him?" I smiled hopefully.

"Of course not," John ruffled Chris' hair as he passed by.

Despite my tardiness and the pressure everyone was under we got the restaurant opened on time. Once everything looked in order, I settled Christopher at a table then headed to the office to take a deep breath and collect myself before any customers showed up. As I turned to leave though John put a hand on my shoulder and forced me to take a seat with Chris. Niall followed just behind him precariously carrying three plates overflowing with breakfast for each of us.

"I'm sure if Christopher didn't eat you didn't either," he helped Niall put them on the table.

John returned to the kitchen and while we ate Niall asked, "So what did your telegram say?"

"Oh, I forgot all about it," I fished it out of my pocket.

Deeply regret to inform you it began your husband 53848 p/o R. E. Denning has been critically wounded in battle. Doing all we can. Letter to follow – O. C. Harrison.

"Oh God," I gasped and covered my mouth.

"What is it, Momma?"

"It's nothing, sweetie," I lied, "I just gave myself a paper cut," I held my hand out to show him.

He grabbed my finger and gave it a thorough inspection, "I don't see it."

I laughed, "Huh, that's funny. You must have a magic touch and made it better," I hoped Chris wouldn't notice the pain and fear swimming in my eyes. "Eat your breakfast and when you're done Niall will help you bring your dishes to the kitchen. I need to get to work," I kissed Chris' cheek and scurried away. I went to the office and in disbelief reread the telegram.

"Oh, God! Not Robert! Oh, no, no. It's my fault," I told myself. "I...I wanted this to happen and now it has. God is punishing me for all my faithless thoughts!" It hurt so much, the idea of losing Robert; more than I ever imagined it would. "I was wrong," I cried, "I love Robert! I do! Please don't take him from me," I whispered. "I'll do anything. Anything! I'll be the best wife and never take him for granted again. I swear! Oh, please, please don't take him from me and from Christopher. Christopher is a good boy, he deserves his father, he needs his father!"

There was a soft rap at the door and I composed myself as best I could before calling out, "Yes?"

"Christopher is done eating, are you planning on working in the office this morning?"

"Um, yes, for a little while," I wiped my tears then let them both in.

Christopher came first and he brushed right by me on his way to the pile of toys we kept tucked in the corner. Niall noticed my troubled expression, though.

"Bad news?" he asked.

I glanced over my shoulder towards Chris and all I could manage to say was a soft, "My husband."

Niall followed my gaze and his face fell, "I'm sorry for it."

"It...it may not be as...as bad as that," I took a deep breath.

"Becca and I will pray for you."

"Becca? Is she your wife?"

"Yes," Niall smiled and nodded.

"It's a pretty name."

"She's a pretty woman," Niall assured me.

"Do you have any children," I asked hoping to keep the conversation going.

"Three. All boys; Aidan, Brian and Ciaran."

"Your wife certainly has her hands full!"

"Ah, but they are good lads and she manages them well. Besides, they know that I wouldn't abide otherwise; fear of their father makes them angels for their mother," he gave rough chuckle. "I'm no brute though, mind you."

I wasn't so sure, but I heard the affection and humor in his tone and tried to imagine what kind of father Niall was. He obviously cared a great deal for his wife; I saw it in his eyes when he told me who she was and how beautiful he believed her to be. I wondered if his gruff exterior was just that and lying beneath was a soft heart.

"Are any of them Chris' age? Maybe you could bring one of your sons with you one day, when the weather is nice and they can play together."

Niall raised his brows, "I'll ask Becca; if she doesn't mind, then I wouldn't either."

There was a long moment of silence. I couldn't think of anything else to say and felt whatever I might ask or add would be too personal for either of us to share. "Well, I guess I'll get started on the books."

"Yep," Niall took a seat in the corner opposite to where Chris played.

I made my way back to the desk and opened the sales ledger. It only took a half an hour to bring it up to date. After I jotted the last of my notes, I looked up to find that Niall had nodded off where he sat. Christopher stopped playing when I stood up and stretched.

"I'm going to the dining room to check on the guests. Stay with Niall and I'll be back in a few minutes."

Chris nodded and returned his attention to his playthings. I left the office and headed down the hallway. I popped into the kitchen and said hello to everyone I hadn't had a chance to greet when I first got in. Then I moved onto the dining area and though it was still early it was peppered with patrons. I tried to be cheerful as I went from table to table to welcome our guests and to ask if there was anything I could do for them.

I skipped the last table I came to where a gentleman sat with the morning paper grasped in both hands. He had a steaming cup of coffee in front of him so I figured he had already placed his order and was waiting to be served. The paper he held obstructed him from my view and he seemed to be engrossed so I figured it best not to disturb him. As I turned away, I heard the paper rustle and the sound of the chair sliding back.

"Valérie," the gentleman called.

My heart skipped a beat. It was the stranger; the stranger who was looking for Mr. Bergeron. I was sure of it. I whirled around. There he was, smiling and looking at me like we were old friends.

"Oh, Mr. Delacroix," his name suddenly came back to me, "how nice to see you again."

"Is it?" he smiled.

There was that odd rippling sensation in my mind again. I covered my face with my hands and closed my eyes then tried to shake the feeling away. He stood up and with a grave voice asked me if I was alright then he helped me take a seat at his table.

"Yes...Yes, I'm fine..." I stuttered.

"Are you sure? You look as though you've seen a ghost," Gavin chuckled and resumed his seat across from me.

My gaze found his, "Mr. Delacroix, have we...have we met before? I mean before you came in the night of the storm. You seem very familiar."

His smile widened and his eyes were bright and happy. He took my hands and I noticed how cold and smooth his felt as they gripped mine. I wanted to pull away; wanted to excuse myself, stand up and hurry off but he ran his thumbs back and forth across my wrists.

"Not in this lifetime," he said it jokingly but the words seemed to echo in the back of my mind. I felt myself considering them as though they had a more significant meaning.

I looked down, "Not in this lifetime," I murmured.

"Valérie?"

"Oui?" I mumbled.

He started to lean across the table and I had the distinct impression he intended to kiss me. I closed my eyes willing it to happen and waited longingly for the feel of his lips against mine.

A hand fell on my shoulder, "Valerie?!" Niall's voice shook me from my daze. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming to the dining room?"

I looked around but there was no sign of Gavin, "Did you see where the gentleman who was sitting here went?" I asked ignoring Niall's question.

"Huh?"

"The gentleman...who was sitting with me...did you see where he went?"

Niall squinted and cocked his head at me, "There was no one there when I came out. Just you, sitting alone with your face in your hands. Maybe this is too much for you today."

"I'm fine," I assured him and stood up intent on getting back to work.

A chill ran through me and I heard someone call out, "Vivienne," I looked left and right for the whispered voice; it sounded like it was everywhere at once. I was sure I didn't imagine it and looked up at Niall, "Did you hear that?" I demanded.

He shook his head in confusion, "Hear what, Valerie?"

I clenched my jaw and made a half turn to head back to the office, it was obvious he hadn't, "Nothing. It was nothing."

Niall seized my hand, "I should take you home. Wait here; I'll get Chris."

As I protested and opened my mouth to insist on staying I saw something in Niall's expression that told me I would lose the argument. I slumped back in the chair, "Fine."

A few minutes later they came into the dining room. Niall had my coat tucked over his elbow and held it for me while I shrugged myself into it. Aside from the engine and the whirr of the tires the ride home was utterly quiet. Chris led the way and raced upstairs to our apartment while I trudged along in his wake with Niall close on my heels.

"Get some rest," he said "you obviously have a lot on your mind." He turned to leave but looked at me again and pursed his lips, "Is there anything you need?" he asked. "Can I fetch a friend or bring you some family to keep you company?"

"No, Mr. Callaghan, thank you. I'll be fine."

He nodded and walked away.

## Chapter Ten

All I wanted to do was lie down and forget everything that happened. I imagined how nice it would be to fall asleep then wake up and discover it had just been a bad dream. I glanced at the clock and even though it was only noontime I felt completely worn out.

"Maybe I should try to rest," I thought to myself. I called to Christopher. When he came and found me in the hallway, I told him my plans, "I'm a little tired, sweetie. I'd like to lie down for a bit. Would you wake me when you're ready for lunch?"

"OK," he said and when I bent to hug him he put his hand on my forehead, "You have a fever," his voice grew serious.

"Really?" I widened my eyes to express my alarm at his diagnosis.

"Uh, huh," Chris nodded. "I'll bring you a cloth to help you rest."

I smiled, "Sure, but let me help you get it before you tuck me in."

We went to the kitchen and ran one of the small towels under the faucet. I wrung it out and gave it to Chris. He took my hand and led me to my bedroom then helped pull the sheets back. I kicked my shoes off and when I lay down Chris eased the covers up to my chin. After he folded the dampened cloth and laid it across my forehead, he kissed my cheek.

"Remember to wake me when you're ready for lunch."

"I will," he promised. I watched him close the door as he left.

It comforted me, somehow, having Chris take such good care of me even though it was just for fun. He was such a sweet boy. I wondered how I would find the courage to tell him if Robert didn't make it through. I whispered another plea for God not to take him from us.

"Robert is a good man. He was trying to be a good man; to do what he thought was right. He doesn't deserve this!" I rolled over and hugged his pillow to my chest, "I'm so sorry Robert." I closed my eyes to hold back my tears and that was the last thing I remembered.

When I woke I immediately sensed something was wrong. The sun was setting and I knew I told Chris to wake me when he was ready for lunch. I thought he would have woken me an hour or two after I laid down. I looked at the clock and sprung from the bed.

"Chris?" I called. "Christopher?!"

I went room to room calling and searching for him but he didn't answer. When I realized he wasn't in the apartment, I started to panic and wondered if he might have gone to visit Justine. I ran up to Kate's apartment and knocked on her door. It took a few moments for her to answer but when she did, she saw how upset I was.

"Oh, my, Valerie! What's wrong?" she asked as she cradled her enormous belly in her hands.

"Is Chris here?" I blurted out.

"No, I haven't seen him. We've been home all day. Justine?" she called. I looked over Kate's shoulder full of hope as Justine came to the door but she was alone. "Have you seen Christopher today?" Kate asked.

"Uh, uh," she said.

"Are you sure?"

"Uh, huh," she nodded.

"Hmm," Kate looked just as uneasy as I felt. "We should go door to door and ask if anyone saw him wandering around the building. I'll have my mother watch Justine and I'll come help you."

"Can I go, too?" Justine tugged on Kate's apron.

"No, sweetie, you stay here and help Grammy with dinner."

"Aww," she pouted and turned away.

"Come in," Kate motioned me through the doorway, "it will only take a minute for me to get ready."

I went into the apartment and shifted nervously as Kate explained to her mother what was wrong and what we planned to do. After Kate finished getting ready, we knocked at all the apartments on her floor but no one had seen Chris. Then we decided to split up. Kate worked her way upstairs while I went down.

I stopped at my apartment and did another thorough inspection but Chris wasn't anywhere to be found. After I covered all the lower floors, I made my way back up and tracked Kate down. She shook her head letting me know she didn't have any luck either.

"I'll get my coat," Kate said decisively, "so we can search outside."

"I can't imagine him going outside, going anywhere; not alone and not without telling me."

"I can't either," Kate soothed, "but he must have. He's not in the building. He must have gone somewhere."

I tried to imagine all the places he might have gotten it into his head to wander off to. "I'll meet you outside," I said and hurried back down to my apartment to bundle up.

It was dark and bitterly cold while I waited for Kate. As I stood wringing my hands and looking left and right, she stepped out behind me. I couldn't decide where to look first but Kate suggested we try the park. It was nearby and as likely as any other place for him to be.

We started down the street but before we took a dozen steps, I heard Chris calling from behind and the patter of his feet as he ran towards me. I spun around and cried out in relief as I bent and caught him in my arms. I closed my eyes and squeezed him tight and when I opened them saw that he wasn't alone.

At first it was too dark to recognize who was with him but as the gentleman approached the nearby streetlight, I realized it was Gavin Delacroix. I could only imagine the worst and fretfully backed a step away.

"Valérie?"

"Mr. Delacroix, what are you doing here?"

"Do you know this man?" Kate whispered.

"Ssh, yes, he's a customer at the restaurant." Chris wiggled and tried to get down, "Chris, stop, please. I want you to stay with me," my voice quivered.

"I'm here to find you," Gavin stopped in front of us and took off his hat. He held his hand out to Kate, "Good evening, I'm Gavin Delacroix."

Kate grasped his fingers, "Katherine, Katherine Walker."

"It's nice to meet you Mrs. Walker," then he turned to me. "Valérie, Mrs. Denning," he shook his head, "I'm not sure where to begin."

Chris piped up and tried to explain that he didn't want to wake me because he knew I wasn't feeling well. "I was hungry," he said and decided to go to the restaurant so John could make him lunch just like he had breakfast. He told me he got lost. While he was trying to find his way back home, he thought he saw Niall walking near the park so he followed him to ask for help.

"He must have only seen me from behind," Gavin elaborated and Chris nodded in agreement. They were both blond, Niall and Gavin and about the same build and height. I could see how he might have made the mistake if he hadn't seen Gavin's face. "He tugged on my coattails and when I turned around Christopher realized I wasn't who he thought I was. He seemed very scared and quite cold and when I asked him if he was lost he broke down. I brought him into my hotel with me and calmed him down over a cup of cocoa. He told me he was going to see John to ask if he would make him lunch. I remembered the name; he's your cook, right? He's the one who stayed and made me dinner not so very long ago."

"Yes, yes, of course," my relief rushed out.

"You can't imagine my surprise when I realized just who this little man is."

I pictured the tale in my mind as they told it and a huge smile of thanks swept across my face; I was so happy that Chris was safe and that Gavin had somehow helped him find his way home.

The wind kicked up and it reminded me how cold it was, "Well, I can't thank you enough for bringing him home. If there's anything I can do, anything at all, please let me know." I cocked my head at Kate, "Let's get you back inside."

"Actually," Gavin called me back, "could I trouble you for a cup of coffee? This little adventure we've been on has given me a bit of a chill," he smiled at Chris.

It caught me off guard and I almost refused but Kate frowned at me suggesting how impolite it would be for me to deny him after all he had done. I found myself inviting Gavin up, not just for coffee, but for dinner as well.

"Oh, no," I thought, "where did that come from?" I hadn't meant to make the offer but it seemed impossible to take it back.

Gavin graciously accepted and held the door for the three of us as we shuffled inside. Kate led the way and I followed carrying Chris. She paused at my floor to say goodnight then continued on up the stairs to her own apartment.

"Well, this is it," I unlocked our door and ushered Gavin in. "Chris why don't you hang Mr. Delacroix's coat for him then wash up when you're done."

He sped away and while he did the things I asked, I gave Gavin a quick tour of our home. "I wasn't expecting company," I apologized as I looked around. Everything was in place but I still felt a little ashamed as he took it all in. I noticed how impeccably dressed he was and how stark the contrast seemed between him and his surroundings. It intensified my regret for inviting him into my apartment.

"It's very charming," he said with sincerity.

"Thank you," I knew he was trying to put me at ease and I appreciated the effort. "Well, I'd better get started on dinner. Would you like something to drink while you wait?"

"Actually, I'd like to join you, if you don't mind. Believe it or not I am quite capable in the kitchen and would enjoy giving you a hand."

It was hard to imagine someone so poised and well-groomed cooking for themselves, "Really?" I tried to keep the skepticism from my voice.

"That sounds like a challenge," he narrowed his eyes at me. "I accept."

"Oh, no, I'm sorry, that's not at all what I meant. I just...you don't look...I figured...oh, never mind." Gavin laughed and without so much as a by-your-leave, rolled his sleeves and rustled through my pantry and icebox. I stood in disbelief as he lined a variety of the things he found on my kitchen table and got to work. He seemed quite adept and his skillful display took me completely by surprise.

After a few minutes he paused his chopping, "Do you keep any of that wonderful claret of yours here at home?" He asked as he turned to the stove and began sautéing and seasoning whatever he was making.

"What's that? Oh, yes, I do," I said when I realized what he wanted.

I uncorked a bottle, filled a glass and handed it to him. He poured about half of the wine into the pan then brought the glass to his lips and smiled at me over the rim suggestively. Lowering the glass he waited until I poured a glass for myself then we sipped together.

Chris came to the doorway, "Mmm, what smells so good?"

"Gavin is making dinner for us, see!" I lifted him up so he could look in the pan.

"Are you a chef, like John?" he asked as I put him back down.

"No," Gavin chuckled, "but I can make a thing or two."

"Mommy knows how to cook, too. She makes the best pies ever!"

"Does she?" Christopher nodded enthusiastically, his eyes excited and wide. "Well, I will have to remember to try one sometime."

I wished he hadn't said that. It made me realize that once the night ended, I hoped to never see him again. There was something about him, something that made me want to forget myself and all my troubles. I remembered the moment at the restaurant when I hoped Gavin would kiss me and flushed with embarrassment at the memory.

Christopher drew one of the kitchen chairs over and watched Gavin as he tossed the meat and veggies around in a heavy pan. I enjoyed listening to their conversation and smiled as Gavin crouched down to his level and explained what he was doing. He put a large wooden spoon in Chris' hand and guided it as he helped him turn the contents of the pan over and over. Seeing them made me realize that Robert had never interacted with Christopher in such a way. I hardly remembered Robert having more than a token interest in the things Chris was doing or vice versa.

I took one of the empty chairs at the table and sat down to enjoy the scene. Soon they were setting the table together and the next thing I knew we were all eating, laughing and savoring the meal they made. So much had changed in such a short time. I felt so content and the dinner Gavin made for us tasted so good! I wondered how I could have been so wrong about someone and why I had been so afraid of what he wanted with Mr. Bergeron.

"It doesn't matter," my mind seemed to tell me. "This is a special moment, don't spoil it."

Chris looked thrilled when Gavin complimented him on his culinary skills and told him what a great job he had done helping with dinner. I smiled at Gavin across the table to show my appreciation. He smiled back and I knew all my inner misgivings were completely unfounded.

It was decidedly late by the time we finished eating and Christopher was stifling yawns every few minutes. I told him he needed to change and get ready for bed.

"Aww," he slunk from his chair and trudged away.

After he left, I thanked Gavin for showing him so much attention, "It really meant a lot to him. He hasn't had anyone to look up to since Robert left and..." I wished I hadn't thought of Robert. "Well, just thank you."

"No, thank you. Thank you for having me. I haven't had such an enjoyable evening since...since the last time I was in France and that was...my...that was some time ago."

Christopher came back.

"Say goodnight to Mr. Delacroix."

"Goodnight Mr. Dela...Dela..."

"Gavin, just call me Gavin."

"Goodnight Gavin."

"Goodnight Christopher. I hope I will see you again sometime," and I felt another pang of regret as I realized what an uncomfortable idea it was for me to consider.

After excusing myself, I went with Chris to tuck him in.

"I like Gavin," he said as I kissed his forehead.

"He's a nice man," I replied.

"Do you think he'll cook dinner for us again if we ask?"

"Oh, Chris, Mr. Delacroix is very busy, I'm sure. We were lucky he could stay tonight but it probably won't happen again."

"I'm sure he would if you asked him."

Rather than contradict him I said, "Maybe. We can talk about it tomorrow, but right now you need to get to sleep."

"OK," he rolled over and closed his eyes.

"Goodnight," I whispered as I left.

"Ni-night," I heard him mumble.

## Chapter Eleven

After I left Chris' room, I expected to find Gavin near the front door waiting to say goodbye but his coat and hat were still where Chris had left them. I returned to the kitchen and found him standing in front of the sink. He had cleared the table and already washed some of the dishes. He looked over his shoulder as I approached and smiled.

"Oh, Mr. Delacroix you shouldn't be doing that," I said completely distraught he would take it upon himself to clean up after us.

"Why not?" he laughed.

"Because...Because you are our guest," I couldn't think of any other argument. I took a towel from the pantry and offered it to him so he would stop and dry his hands off.

"I have a better idea," he looked at me and he looked at the towel, "help me." His expression and the way he said it broke my resolve. I forgot everything else and all I could think about was how much I wanted to help him.

He made room for me and smiling I stepped up beside him. His movements were mesmerizing. They seemed so precise and controlled, like he was deliberately making each action an artful display. He scrubbed a dish and rinsed it under the flowing water then handed it to me. I used the towel to wipe it dry and placed it on the sideboard while I waited for the next.

It was utterly quiet except for the gentle splashing of the water or the clink of the dishes as I stacked them. From time to time Gavin would glance at me; his eyes bright with happiness. The experience endeared him more and more to me and I tried to imagine how someone so obviously beyond such menial tasks could find so much pleasure in them. He was absolutely puzzling to me and as we worked, my gaze wandered time and time again from drying the dishes to his face.

Once I had polished the last of the glassware, he turned the faucet off, "Well, I guess that's everything," his voice hinting at disappointment.

"Yes," I nervously replied. I didn't know why but I had a sudden attack of shyness and it overwhelmed me. I couldn't think of a single thing to say or do once we had finished. For a long moment I stood there wringing the towel in my fingertips. It was such an unexpected experience; all of it. Other than Deaglan, who I had a fatherly affection for, I hadn't had this type of companionship since Robert left.

I didn't mean to think of Robert but once I had I found myself asking, "How is it you're not married Mr. Delacroix?" I imagined the throngs of women who would swoon over and throw themselves at the feet of a man so remarkable and charismatic.

His face turned ashen and I knew at once that I had ruined the moment and asked the worst possible question.

He looked away, "I had a fiancé once..." he sighed.

"Oh," instinctively I knew what he would say next.

"She passed away..." he choked the statement out.

I moved toward him and took his hand, "I'm so, so sorry, Gavin. I didn't mean to...it was very impolite for me to ask such a personal question," I looked away. "But I think I understand a little of how you must feel. Robert...Robert...I received a telegram...and I don't know...whether he is...if he is..."

We were both such sorrowful creatures standing there and in need of the comfort and the kind of understanding only people with similar circumstances can give. I started to tremble as I tried to stifle my grief but the pain I had caused Gavin amplified my own and it seemed determined to escape. He reached for me and I fell into his embrace sobbing and apologizing for it all.

"Ssh," he soothed. He wrapped one arm around my shoulders and held me close while his free hand ran up and down my spine.

Several minutes passed while we stood in the soft glow of the kitchen lights and I recovered myself. I felt so weak and delicate and feminine and the weight of the past 6 months seemed so heavy and impossible to bear. Gavin was so strong and solid and sure against me and it was so nice to not have to be any of those things myself just then.

Somehow my hair had gotten loose and it tumbled down my back. I closed my eyes and savored the touch of his fingertips gently stroking it.

"Valérie," he whispered.

"Yes," I looked up through the tangle of tears in my lashes.

Everything changed; the world did an odd shift as he looked down at me. Suddenly it felt electrified where a moment ago it had been cold and somber. He took my face in his hands and kissed me with a soft, refrained passion. It was almost like a question, like he was asking for permission. The desire it ignited in me was undeniable. My arms wrapped around his neck and my lips parted as they locked with Gavin's. I eagerly kissed him back; my tongue searching for his.

He backed us out of the kitchen while we clung to one another. We stumbled down the hallway toward the bedroom I shared with Robert. That didn't matter though; it was completely unimportant and irrelevant. It was taking too long so Gavin swept me up with impatience and carried me the rest of the way. He set me on the edge of the bed then went to the door and eased it closed before locking it securely.

He knelt down in front of me and swept my dress up over my knees and gently tugged my stockings down. I shivered as his fingers traced little patterns on the inner edges of my thighs. He smiled up at me to show how delighted he was with my reaction to his touch. I smiled back encouragingly and emboldened his lips traced the path his fingertips had just followed. I moaned out loud and fell onto my back thrilling at the sensuousness of the sensation.

Then I gasped in shock as he moved up, closer and closer and his mouth covered the most intimate part of my body. My body flooded with an incontestable need as his tongue rolled back and forth caressing me. It was almost excruciating, the teasing fervor he was creating. Then he stood up and with one hand continued to pleasure me while he stripped himself with the other.

"He's beautiful," I thought as he stood in front of me and I marveled at how absolutely flawless and inviting he was. I reached out and Gavin took my hand to help me up. Inch by inch with lips and fingertips I explored his body. I could see his longing as clearly as I could feel my own and there seemed to be some urgency in his expression. When I noticed it, he abruptly spun me around so I faced away from him. One by one he undid the buttons of my dress until I could shrug myself out of it.

His lips caressed my neck and I closed my eyes as he gently bent my head to the side exposing the soft tissue above my collarbone. Gavin rested his teeth against my skin and I felt a sharp pain as he pierced the flesh. He took a deep draught and when he pulled away, he bit his lip and smoothed a few drops over the wound. It healed almost immediately and without so much as a trace of what he'd done.

He turned me so I faced him, "Love me," he commanded.

"Oh, Gavin," I breathed, "I have loved you my whole life. I waited so long...but you never came...and now...it's too late. I have Robert and I have Chris..."

"No," he insisted, his lips against my temple, "we will have another chance...I promise..."

"Yes, we will," I agreed and all my fears, regrets and remorse for what I was about to do evaporated. I urged Gavin to take me.

The next thing I knew we were on the bed and with a delicate expertise Gavin and I made love to one another. I felt so connected and determined to please him. It wasn't at all like it was with Robert. Gavin wasn't coarse or clumsy. There were no awkward kisses, no rough caresses or forceful thrusts. He was gentle and loving and my body just thrilled at the way he touched me. He seemed able to sense and fulfill each of my desires as soon as they arose. It was unimaginably fulfilling; something I had never known before – the sensation of my body being so utterly satisfied.

Afterwards we lay breathless and content bound together in a confusion of arms and legs, "I love you," he whispered.

"Mmm," I kissed his cheek, "I love you."

The minutes ticked by and I started to doze off. Gavin tried to disentangle himself but I held him fast, "So soon?" I asked.

He shook his head sadly, "I must." I wanted to ask why but sensed there was a very good reason and he wasn't ready to explain it yet. It wrenched my heart, "I'm sorry," his voice full of sincerity, "I hadn't meant this to happen. Not tonight anyway. I'm so glad it did, though, I've wanted you for so long...since the moment we first met."

I smiled and blushed even though I didn't understand the full meaning of what he said, "I never knew."

He hugged me then stood up and tugged his clothes back on. It was almost unbearable the thought of him leaving me and a lump of regret swelled in my throat. I slung my legs over the edge of the bed and painfully watched as he buttoned his shirt back up.

"Valérie, non, please don't cry."

My lips trembled and I fought to keep my composure. He seemed to understand and pity the tumultuous feelings that warred inside me.

"Here," he motioned me to stand up then brought his wrist to his mouth. He made a slight incision and cradled my head drawing it toward the open wound. My stomach turned in revulsion, "Please," he whispered, "let me help you."

I had no power to object and did what he asked. Every drop that dribbled across my tongue and down my throat seemed to ease the tension and alarm from me. But that wasn't all it was doing; something happened to my mind, to my memories and everything we shared that evening. I found myself unable to recall anything whatsoever about our visit or about Gavin at all for that matter.

"Why?" I pulled away and fearfully searched his expression.

"I'm sorry...so sorry...but there's still so much I have to do before we can be together. I will remember, though, I will remember for both of us. When it's done...when I have done what I must do I will share them, I will share everything with you."

He tucked me back into bed and kissed my eyes closed. I fell instantly and blissfully asleep as he crept away. Gavin gathered his hat and coat before leaving then made his way down the stairs and out the front door.

"Mr. Delacroix," a voice rang out from the shadows and before he had a chance to react Gavin fell to his knees.

## Chapter Twelve

The next few days routinely passed and before the week ended, I received a letter from Robert's commanding officer telling me he was recovering; that once they transported him to the hospital and stabilized him, they realized the injuries were not as severe as they initially believed. The officer's letter explained what had happened and in somewhat delicate terms told me what I should expect when I saw Robert.

He wrote that Robert was in a skirmish near Somme, France. During the encounter he stayed in the troop's entrenchment and covered their retreat. Once everyone was safely away, Robert stood up to throw a grenade to cover his own escape. After he pulled the pin and rose to launch it a sniper's bullet struck him in the left shoulder. He couldn't get the grenade away and subsequently took substantial damage to the right side of his face, arm and chest. Though most of the injuries ended up being superficial, his commander said there would be considerable scarring. The most significant of his injuries was the loss of 3 fingers on his right hand making him incapable of holding a weapon.

"Your husband is a hero," the letter concluded, "and is to be honorably discharged. You should expect him home by the first or second week of February." The officer signed the letter with his full name and a flourish of titles that meant nothing to me.

"Thank God!" I clutched the letter when I had finished reading it.

It was such a relief. I thought about all the promises and prayers I had made when I imagined the worst. Knowing Robert was safe and would soon be home reinforced my determination to honor them. I considered all the things I would have to do to prepare myself and Christopher for Robert's homecoming.

"Deaglan," I took a deep breath and wondered and hoped he would be back soon. I knew I would need his help to make whatever arrangements would be necessary so I could continue working. I really hoped I would be able to fulfill my obligations to him and Mr. Bergeron as well as my ones to Robert and Christopher.

As I considered how we might arrange our schedule, I wondered why I hadn't heard from Deaglan at all. Christmas dinner seemed a very long time ago. Before he left, he promised to write to Gabriel and to let me know as soon as he had some news to share.

"That was over two weeks ago," I reflected.

The following day when Niall came to pick me up for work I asked him if Deaglan had been in touch with him at all and whether he mentioned when he would be back.

"Deaglan is back; he's been back for about a week."

"What?" the word rushed out before I could mask my surprise. The news stunned me. I shook my head in disbelief, "Why hasn't he been to the restaurant then, and why hasn't he gotten in touch with me?!" I demanded.

Niall didn't like my tone and scowled back at me in the mirror, "Damned if I know," he replied.

I checked my anger, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound so...so..."

Niall relaxed his expression, "Bitchy?"

"Yes," I accepted the reproof. "Have you seen him?"

"Every night when I return the car."

I was completely dumbfounded, "Would you take me there?"

"No," his answer came quick and sounded decisive.

I thought for a moment, "Would you take a letter to him for me?"

Niall considered the question, "I suppose I could do that."

"Thank you, I would really appreciate it."

The rest of the ride went by in complete silence. I couldn't imagine why Deaglan hadn't reached out, or bothered to tell me he'd come back.

"And what of Mr. Bergeron and the strange man who was looking for him. Whatever came of that I wonder?"

As soon as the staff and I finished opening the restaurant for the day I went straight to the office and penned a lengthy letter to Deaglan. It was not an easy task; I had so many questions. The idea that he had not gotten in touch when he came back to town flabbergasted me. Everything I wrote seemed harsh and abrasive. Deaglan would never speak to me the way Niall had on the ride to work that morning but I was sure he wouldn't appreciate my demands for information either.

I changed my tactics and welcomed Deaglan home instead. Then I put all the news and other pertinent thoughts I wanted to share about the restaurant into the note. I closed it by telling him about Robert and that he would soon be returning as well. I asked Deaglan to please get in touch with me so we could talk and make plans for running the restaurant.

At the end of the day I handed the letter to Niall, "Thanks again. Thank you for everything. I'm not sure I've managed to say that yet."

"Hmm," Niall just nodded and drove me home.

He had a response for me the next morning. It was very brief; a quick apology from Deaglan saying he was well but Mr. Bergeron had an overwhelming number of obligations. He wasn't sure when he would be able to but he would visit at his earliest opportunity. That was it.

I clenched my teeth and choked back my bitterness for so delinquent a note. After all we shared working together for the past few months and the friendship I thought was between us, the letter seemed indifferent and made me feel unimportant and irrelevant.

I tried very hard not to let it bother me. The restaurant was a good bulwark against all the sorrow I felt for realizing my impressions of our relationship were false. I worked non-stop for a week and a half before Deaglan came by my apartment one night well after the restaurant had closed. Since learning of his return I hadn't been sleeping well so I was up when I heard his light rap at the door.

"Yes," I softly called hoping I wouldn't wake Christopher.

"It's Deaglan."

I was so nervous and excited to hear his voice I fumbled with the lock and it took me several tries before I got the door open. When I finally swung it wide and saw him standing there, I almost cried out with joy. He looked at me apologetically and though he seemed unsure whether it was the right thing to do or not he bent down and hugged me close.

"I'm sorry, Valerie. So sorry I couldn't come sooner."

When he let go I tugged him into the apartment and closed the door behind him. I brought him to the kitchen and offered him a seat at the table. He reluctantly sat down and I took the chair across from him. When I saw him under the glow of the kitchen lights, "Oh, Deaglan," I gasped and reached across the table to touch his cheek, "what happened to you?" I asked.

"It's nothing," he pulled away from my caress.

There were bruises and various cuts and scrapes crisscrossing his face. They didn't look fresh and most seemed close to being healed but there was no hiding that whatever had happened, it was severe.

"You cannot tell me that...that those are nothing."

"And I cannot tell you any differently."

He was obviously hiding something from me. Though I tried asking again Deaglan spoke over me forcing me to give up rather than raise my voice and risk waking Christopher.

"So Robert is coming home," he said, "it's too bad it will be under such unfortunate circumstances. When do you expect him?"

I looked away then back, "Any day now. The letter I received said the first week of February."

"How much time do you need off?" Deaglan asked very businesslike.

"Oh, uh, I don't know...I haven't really thought about it. I assumed I wouldn't take any."

"Valerie," Deaglan's voice was full of disapproval. "You husband has not been home for 6 months, Lord knows what he's been through and what he's seen. You will need some time together; he'll need your support."

"You're right," I sighed. "A week then, maybe two."

"Two weeks," Deaglan nodded. "What do you think of John?"

It took me a moment to understand why he would ask but I had no objections once I realized what he seemed to be suggesting. "I think very highly of John. He's smart, a hard worker; good-natured and pleasant, too."

"Good. Hire another cook and teach John everything you know. Whatever you don't have a chance to get to, write it down."

I shook my head, "What about you? Aren't you going to help me?"

Deaglan didn't answer, "And how do you feel about Niall? Do you need me to replace him? I didn't have much time to find someone who might be more compatible with you."

Again I felt confused and frustrated, "Deaglan...are you...is this...are you leaving me? Are you setting me up to say goodbye?" I asked.

He didn't deny it but didn't answer either.

"What happened Deaglan? What happened when you wrote to Mr. Bergeron and why did you leave so unexpectedly. And why have I never met him and what does he have to say about all of this? Why does he need you so suddenly?"

Deaglan took a deep breath and reached into his pocket, "The Lost and Found is nothing to Gabriel. He's has no interest any more in running a restaurant. It was a passing fancy, so to say, and he would like to give it up." Deaglan tugged a bundle of folded papers out of his pocket and placed them in front of me. "Everything should be in order. Just sign there," he pointed, "and I will take care of the rest."

My heart raced and my mind filled with a flurry of anguished ideas. "No, I will not! I will not sign anything and let you take care of the rest!"

"Ssh, Christopher," Deaglan reminded me.

"Ssh, yourself," though I lowered my voice. I shoved the papers back across the table.

Deaglan ground his teeth, "Dieu merde, Vivienne!"

"Putain vous, Deaglan! Wait! What did you call me? What did I just say?" Deaglan looked at me with fear and amazement. "Deaglan?"

"You're tired Valerie. You need time to think this over. I will leave the papers," Deaglan abruptly stood up. "Please, please sign them and give them to Niall." He slid the chair in, came around the table and kissed my cheek.

A moment later I heard the door open and close. I buried my face in my hands and cried over the loss of my friend, "Why?" I wondered, "Why, why, why is this happening?"

## Chapter Thirteen

When I finally looked up again the first thing I saw was the pile of papers Deaglan had left for me. For a moment I wanted to snatch them off the table and tear them up. Then I thought better of it; considered that if I held onto them...held onto them long enough Deaglan might worry and wonder what happened to them.

"Maybe he will come by to talk to me again and I can apologize and tell him that I just want to understand. If he would just explain it to me, even in the simplest of terms, so I won't feel so...so out of control. I'm tired of a life that isn't my own and bending to everyone's will but mine."

I smoothed the creases and tucked the folded documents into one of the cubbies on the writing desk.

Morning came far too quickly and though it was with a heavy heart, I went to work and completed each of my routines with all my usual efficiency. I approached John as soon as he arrived and told him about our, "My," I reminded myself, plans for him. He was ecstatic and his enthusiasm uplifted me while we went through all his new responsibilities one by one.

It was far from tedious; John proved to be a quick learner and all his kitchen experience made many of the aspects of managing much easier for him to grasp than I imagined. He knew exactly what to order and when to order it. He was great at arranging and budgeting everyone's time. The staff was familiar and comfortable with him so it was easy for him to get them motivated even on the busiest or slowest of days.

John was also knowledgeable about the menu and able to answer any questions anyone might have about the items we served. He knew which methods we used for cooking as well as the spices, and flavor profiles for every dish on the menu. The only stumble he made was that he sometimes forgot himself if he happened to be in the kitchen. More than once I saw him take over when he thought someone wasn't preparing a dish fast enough or to his rigid specifications.

I tried to discourage him whenever it happened and reminded him he needed to stay focused on his own responsibilities. I also suggested that he hire the new cook and train him or her up to his standards. He liked the idea and spent several days interviewing candidates. When he finally settled on someone he asked permission to hire him.

"John, you and I are equals now and I respect your judgment," I said. "We can and we should talk about things like this, but I want you to understand that you don't need my permission for every decision you have to make."

"Right," he shook his head, "of course."

I smiled, "I'll need some time off soon. I'm not sure if I told you, but Robert, my husband, received a discharge from the army. We're going to need some time together once he's home."

He seemed wary of the idea and hesitant to work alone but I assured him he was more than ready. "I was nothing more than a housewife a few short months ago with no kitchen or restaurant experience whatsoever. If I can do it, you certainly can!"

"I'm sure you're right. I'll do my best."

"Thank you, John."

Between my own responsibilities and preparing John I tried to spend as much time as possible in the office with Chris. Mostly, he kept himself busy but if I had a free moment, I would talk with him and remind him that Robert would be back soon. Sometimes we would play together and I would tell him stories about his father so he wouldn't seem so much a stranger when they met again.

I had a hard time explaining why Robert was coming home and why he may look different when Chris saw him. It was difficult finding the right words to describe his scars. I ended up saying he shouldn't be afraid of them because they showed how brave his father was. I told Chris that Robert had gotten them while saving his friends.

"Your father did something very courageous and we should try to think of the marks as a way to remind us that Daddy is a hero," I encouraged him.

Niall was still picking me up and bringing me home at the end of the day. We had hardly spoken since the night of Deaglan's visit other than a civil greeting and an occasional suggestion if he needed something to do while I worked. I wasn't sure if it was me or if it was him, but whichever the case the lack of conversation didn't seem to bother either of us. I wondered how much he knew but sensed it best not to ask and risk giving away more than I cared to admit.

By the end of the week we all felt worn and exhausted. Chris dozed off in the car during the ride home and despite the weariness and the recent distance between us Niall seemed to be in a good mood. We talked quietly; mostly about his sons and Christopher. When we pulled up to my building, I tried waking Chris but he was fast asleep and I couldn't get him to budge.

Niall turned the car off, "Here, I'll get him," he came around and amazingly Chris didn't protest when Niall scooped him up. Instead he wrapped his arms around Niall's neck and kept his eyes closed.

I laughed a little, "Well, isn't this a sight?"

"You think this is funny," Niall chuckled back, "let me tell you a story about my youngest."

"Oh?" I replied piqued as I held the door.

"He caught a mouse, my Ciaran did. I don't know how he managed, but I suspect he was feeding it and making it tame over time. When I came home one night, he showed me his little pet and asked me to let him keep it. Please, please Daddy, he begged. He's a nice mouse. Watch, he said, he's very friendly, see how he just shits in my hand."

I shook my head smiling, "What?!" we were on the stairs near the front door to my apartment by then.

Niall started laughing; really laughing. He managed to tell me through his tears that his son meant to say sits, sits in my hand but he had a little lisp and that was how it came out.

Niall's laughter was infectious and I laughed too as I pictured the scene and how precious it would have been to witness.

"Valerie?" I gasped and we both fell silent when Robert stepped out of the apartment and into the hallway. As he took in the situation, it was easy to imagine how inappropriate the sight that greeted him must have seemed.

"Robert...I...I...you're home! I wasn't expecting you; I thought you would write to tell me when you got back."

"So it would seem," he frowned. "I wanted to surprise you. Apparently I did!"

"Oh, no, Robert don't be... It's not... This is Niall, my...my..." I realized how absurd it would have sounded to Robert if I said driver.

Niall moved forward and held his hand out, "We work together at the restaurant," he explained, "I'm Niall, Niall Callaghan."

Robert eyed him suspiciously and rather than shake he held up his hand to display the stubs of his missing fingers and extended his left hand instead.

"Right," Niall shifted Chris to his other shoulder and after he made the adjustment, he shook Robert's hand.

While they spoke I was awestruck by Robert's appearance. I thought I had prepared myself and though he wasn't as hideous as I imagined the scars had severely distorted his face. I could only find a trace of the man I had married in it.

The commotion woke Christopher and Robert asked for him, "I'll take my son if you don't mind," he held his arms out to take him from Niall. Christopher reached back but when he turned his head to face Robert, he recoiled at the sight of him and clung to Niall.

I saw a vicious flash of anger in Robert's eyes and made Chris' excuse for him. "Oh, Robert, it's too soon, you're a bit of a stranger to him right now and he needs time to get used to having you back."

I took Chris from Niall and said goodnight. "Would you let John know that I won't be in tomorrow? I'll try to get a message to him once things settle down; but I'll need the next few days off."

Niall nodded, promised that he would talk to John then looked at Robert and said it was an honor to have met him.

Afterwards Robert let us into the apartment and slumped down on the couch while I got Christopher ready for bed. It took a little longer than usual since I had to remind him of all the things I told him before. I reassured him that his father was the same man he remembered he just looked different.

"Please try, Christopher, please try not to be frightened of him. Daddy has been through a lot and he is very sad and scared too, I'm sure."

"I will Momma," his little lip quivered.

I smiled, "You're a brave boy," I said, "just like your daddy."

He seemed to like that and smiled back, "And someday I will be a hero, too!"

I ruffled his hair, "I bet you will!" I kissed him goodnight and turned out the light.

After I closed his door, I took a deep breath and tried to look cheerful. When I got to the living room, I found that Robert had gotten up and gone to the kitchen. I heard him rustling around in the cabinets, looking for something.

"Are you hungry? Can I fix you something?"

"No." he brusquely replied, "I'm looking for something to drink."

"I could make you some coffee," I offered.

"That's not exactly what I had in mind," he pulled a bottle of wine from the pantry. "Is this all we have?"

"As far as I know; we've never kept liquor in the apartment," I frowned.

"Humph." Robert uncorked the bottle and rather than pouring a glass took a generous swig from it and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "I'm sorry, did you want some?" he held the bottle out.

"No, no thank you. Why are you acting like this Robert? This isn't you."

"And this isn't you!" he looked me up and down. "You look mighty fine for working at a restaurant."

I felt myself color with shame for never telling him, "Well, I...I don't just work there, Robert, I manage it."

He guffawed, "You what?"

"I manage it."

"You?!"

"That's right," I said defensively.

Robert took another gulp from the wine, "And how did this come about?"

I started to speak, considered telling a lie but felt incapable of contriving a viable story and started again. "Well," I began, "I guess it happened by accident." Then I told Robert the story from beginning to end, the pies the wagon, the offer from Mr. Bergeron; everything except that if I wanted it, there were papers in the writing desk that would make me not only the manager but the owner of the restaurant as well.

Robert polished off half the bottle of wine by the time I finished speaking. He sat there staring at me with a look of incredulity while I waited for a response. When I received it, it wasn't at all what I expected.

"Do any women work there? So far I've heard Mr. Bergeron, Deaglan, Niall and John; is there anyone in the city you haven't fucked while I was getting blown to bits?"

My face fell. I was so ashamed, not for myself but for Robert. I had never heard him speak with such vulgarity; not to me, not to anyone. "How could you say that Robert?" my voice soft but challenging.

He took another huge swallow from the bottle and slammed it onto the table, "How could I not? You haven't so much as said welcome home, hugged me or kissed me or told me you love me or even that you missed me. How can you can sit across from me and calmly tell me about all the other men in your life? Why would anyone do those things for you if you weren't fucking them? You're an ungrateful little whore!"

I wanted to shout back but worried I might wake Christopher. "You're obviously not yourself Robert and I will not sit here and let you speak to me this way."

I slid my chair back, stood up, then turned and started walking away. Before I made it to the doorway, though, Robert threw himself out of his chair. He grabbed me by the back of my neck. As I faced away from him he forced me tight up against his chest and breathed into my ear, "Welcome home Robert. Say it...say it!!" He terrified me and the words wouldn't come out. He yanked my head back so he could look in my eyes, "Welcome home," he growled.

"Welcome home, Robert," I stuttered.

"I've missed you, Robert."

Swallowing, "I've missed you, Robert."

"I love you."

Love was the last thing I felt for Robert at that moment and I couldn't bring myself to say it. We were standing in the threshold between the kitchen and living room and he dashed my head against the molding.

"I love you," he repeated.

I was dizzy from the blow but managed to mumble, "I love you."

"Now show me!" and he tore my dress open.

"No, Robert, please!" I begged but my plea fell on death ears.

He fumbled with his belt and his pants fell to his knees. Then Robert viciously took me from behind. I bit my lip to keep from crying out while Robert painfully and heartlessly used me. Though I wanted to scream and kick and fight him, my thoughts were full of Christopher. I worried about him and what it would do to him if he were to wake up and witness the scene.

When it was over Robert thrust me away and drew his pants back up, "Clean yourself up slut." He went back to the table and after righting his chair chugged the rest of the wine.

Shivering and crying I bent down and gathered my clothes and carried them and myself away.

## Chapter Fourteen

Nervous, trembling and heartbroken I did what Robert suggested and cleaned myself before getting ready for bed. When I pulled the covers back to crawl beneath the sheets, I found myself unable to lie down. I couldn't bear the idea of sleeping in the same bed as my husband. I tugged the covers back up and instead went to Christopher's room and curled myself around him.

It was impossible not to cry but I kept my tears to myself and drew my breaths softly and quieted my sobs so I wouldn't wake him. Holding Chris soothed me and it kept my thoughts flowing in a happier direction. Before long I relaxed and drifted off to sleep.

I woke up the following morning with my heart pounding. I fearfully sat up and surveyed my surroundings. It took a minute for the events of the previous night to sink back in and for me to realize that I wasn't in my own room. Christopher had already gotten up. I hoped it was early enough that Robert was still sleeping and I would have Chris to myself before he woke.

I considered dressing and hurrying us up to Kate's but knew that it wouldn't be possible if Robert had made it to bed. All my clothes were in the bedroom we shared and I was too ashamed to go dressed in my nightclothes without a plausible excuse. I cursed myself for feeling so defeated and for not thinking the situation through before I fell asleep. I desperately wished I had formed a plan and come up with a way to get Chris and myself somewhere safe before Robert could stop us.

As I left Chris' bedroom, I heard sounds coming from the kitchen and I crept down the hallway hoping not to disturb Robert as I passed our bedroom. I only took a few steps before I realized it was both their voices and I was too late. I paused and considered what to do next.

"Now is my chance to get dressed," I decided, and pivoted on my heel. I did it a bit too quickly though and the floorboards let out a profoundly audible creak.

"Valerie? Is that you?" Robert's voice called soft and pleasant. I froze in place unable either to answer or react. He came to the doorway and found me standing in the hallway, "Ah, there you are!" he said beaming, "Come have breakfast with us," he cocked his head at me.

"I'm not hungry," I replied and turned back towards the bedrooms.

Chris stepped up beside Robert, "We made pancakes just for you!" his eyes were full of pride.

"Did you?" I smiled down at him and seeing him so sweet and expectant melted my resolve. "Well, I guess I should try to eat a little since you went through so much trouble."

I edged by Robert and as I passed, I tossed him a look to let him know I wasn't about to forgive him for what he'd done. I wondered if he even remembered what happened or if he had gotten too drunk to recall. Chris pulled my chair for me and sat down beside me. Robert served us both and took a seat across from us before helping himself to a generous portion of the pancakes.

As I bent to take my first bite, I tucked my hair behind my ear so it wouldn't fall in the puddle of syrup on my plate. Christopher looked up at just the right moment hoping to glimpse my reaction to the breakfast he and Robert had put together for us. He saw the cruel bruise on the side of my head and fearfully asked what happened.

Robert flinched but he needn't have worried, "Oh, nothing, sweetie. I tripped in the doorway and bumped my head," I let the hair fall back to cover it.

"I'm sorry you got hurt Momma. Do you want me to kiss it better?"

"I would love that," I leaned over so he could reach.

He whispered as he pressed his lips to my temple, "See, Momma; I am being brave just like you said."

"Thank you," I whispered back.

Chris took up his breakfast again and so did I. He chattered away in between bites and gave me a play-by-play of how they had made the pancakes.

"It was almost as much fun as making dinner with Gavin," he innocently added when he finished his explanation.

Robert raised his eyebrows, "Who's Gavin?"

I didn't know either and wondered who Christopher was talking about, "Yes, who is Gavin?"

"Oh, you remember," Chris nodded at me. "He brought me home when I got lost and made dinner for us and let me help."

I had no idea why Christopher would make up a story like that. I didn't have any recollection whatsoever of the events he described.

As I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders, "I'm sorry sweetie, but nothing like that ever happened," I said with confidence. Robert eyed me across the table and a bubble of fear swelled in my chest when I realized that he didn't believe me.

"Tell me about Gavin; what's he like?"

"Oh, he's really nice. He lives in a hotel and they have the best hot chocolate there!" Chris said enthusiastically.

"Really?"

"Uh, huh!"

"And what does Gavin look like?"

"He looks like Niall, only not old like him."

"I see," Robert said.

I wanted to defend myself and scold Christopher for lying but he seemed so sincere; like he honestly believed what he was telling us.

"I swear, Robert, I don't know who he is talking about. I have never met anyone named Gavin and what Christopher is telling you never happened."

Chris grew visibly angry when I contradicted him. I regretted upsetting him but there was something sinister and foreboding lurking in Robert's eyes. It was obvious he didn't think I was telling the truth and it was hard not to imagine the consequences after what happened the previous night.

"It did, it did happen!" Chris shouted. "Ask Auntie Kate!" he yelled.

Robert tilted his head, "Did Auntie Kate meet Gavin, too?"

"Yes!" Chris stated with surety.

"Well, why don't we go visit Aunt Kate after breakfast, then, huh?"

Chris nodded triumphantly and resumed his breakfast.

I felt confident that Kate would clear the misunderstanding up and while Robert and Chris finished eating, I excused myself to get dressed. When I finished getting ready, I went back to the kitchen and offered to clean up the breakfast dishes while the two of them changed. As I finished wiping the counters they returned and once I tucked everything away, we headed upstairs.

Kate smiled, she seemed overwhelmed with happiness at the sight of us all together and ushered us in with hugs and kisses.

"Oh, Robert," she said with tremendous deference, "it's such a relief to see you and have you back!" There wasn't even a flash of revulsion or a hint of discomfort in her expression as she welcomed him in. It seemed like she didn't even notice his scars and he looked exactly as she remembered him last. I envied her a little for her ability to overlook such superficial distinctions.

Chris ran off to play with Justine as soon as Kate closed the door behind us. Then Kate quickly assumed the role of hostess and offered to make us coffee or something to eat. We both declined, "Well, let's go to the living room then and make ourselves comfortable," she said.

She led the way and settled herself in the armchair so Robert and I would be able to share the couch. I had no desire to sit with Robert but I didn't want to arouse Kate's curiosity so I waited until Rob was comfortable then sat down. I arranged myself as far from him as I dared and hoped it didn't look conspicuous.

Kate carried almost the entire conversation. She was bubbling with news and information to share and had an innumerable array of questions for Robert. As the wife of his best friend Robert and Kate knew each other quite well and had a lot to talk about. They spoke for so long and seemed so engaged with what one another said I wondered if Robert had forgotten why we were visiting in the first place.

I knew I had nothing to hide but felt tremendously relieved nonetheless that the topic had somehow been avoided. Just when I thought I was safe though, Robert deftly brought it up. He yawned and stretched, "Sorry," he apologized, "I didn't sleep very well. I guess I'm still not quite adjusted since the return home."

"Oh, of course," Kate said. "I didn't mean to keep you so long."

Robert stood up and glanced around, "Looks like Chris has managed to get himself lost again," he said.

Kate gave a little chuckle and to my complete amazement, "Oh, Val told you about that, huh?"

Robert smiled, "Yes," he glanced sideways at me, "yes, she did."

"Thank goodness it was Mr. Delacroix that found him!" Kate exclaimed.

"Yes I can't imagine what might have happened if it hadn't been for Gavin."

"Such a gentleman," Kate sighed, "and can you imagine, Valerie tried to send him away without so much as a cup of coffee to thank him?"

I was aghast and couldn't imagine where any of this was coming from. I wanted to jump up and scream my innocence but I would never cause a scene like that in front of Kate. "Besides," I thought "with both Kate and Chris telling the same story why would Robert believe me?" Then I wondered if the blow Robert dealt me had done more than just the physical damage. "Did I somehow forget the event she and Chris seemed so convincingly to remember?"

Robert motioned me to get up as Kate offered to track Chris down for us. "That's alright, we can get him, unless..." he paused as though he was reluctant to ask.

"Oh, would you like me to watch him for a bit? Do you need some...some alone time?" she smiled knowingly.

"No..." I protested but Robert reached for my hand and wrapped his fingers in mine.

"Well," he looked lovingly down at me, "if you're sure you don't mind."

"No, not at all, not at all," Kate pushed us out the door.

Once we were in the hallway and Kate's door shut behind us Robert shook his hand from mine and seized me by the elbow. I opened my mouth to scream but he struck me across my jaw with his free hand and stunned me into submission as he shoved me down the stairs.

It happened so quickly! Somehow we were back in the apartment without me ever realizing how we had gotten there.

"You faithless, lying bitch!" Robert rained a series of blows down on me and I fell to the floor cowering. I tried to crawl away but before I crept more than a few inches Robert kicked me in the same spot he had injured the night before. It was the last thing I remembered.

When I woke I wasn't completely sure where I was. I tried to move but for some reason I couldn't. Soon afterwards I realized that it was because I was in my bed with my wrists and feet bound at the posts. I had no recollection of how I had gotten there or how much time had passed; whether it was minutes or hours or even days. I tried to move my head to look around but the pain it caused was unbearable and I clenched my teeth at the intensity of it.

I moaned and willed myself to lie still so I wouldn't hurt myself further. Then I contemplated my situation and what I could do to get out of it. I tested my bindings but they were too tight and too far out of my reach to do anything about them. I looked around and studied the room and everything in it hoping to see something that might be of use. It was semi-dark and I had a hard time making things out but I knew where everything was.

I closed my eyes and pictured my surroundings and mentally sifted through all my belongings. It was a worthless attempt and in my heart I knew there was nothing I would be able to use to help me escape. I considered calling out for help but there were only two people likely to hear me; Robert my captor or Chris and I wasn't willing to risk sharing my horror with him. Based on my current circumstances it was obvious Robert was capable of much worse than I had already imagined.

"Oh, God!" my head throbbed with anger and frustration and I struggled briefly against my bonds. It was useless and it caused so much pain I blacked out again.

When morning came, I opened my eyes and found that nothing had changed. I hadn't noticed at first but Robert was in the room with me.

"Hi there, sleepyhead," he spoke low and hushed. He brought a glass of water to my lips and told me to drink.

At first I recoiled from his generosity but I was so thirsty and my throat felt so dry and swollen. I reluctantly let him rest the glass against my lips and took several swallows of the water.

"That's a good girl," he said as he smoothed a length of my hair with his hand. "I'll bring you something to eat but first we need to have a little talk." Robert sat down on the edge of the bed and put the glass on the nightstand. "You're not feeling well, Valerie, and I am going to take care of you until you get better. Do you understand?"

I didn't at first but nodded anyway.

"Good, because Chris is worried about you and we wouldn't want to upset...or hurt," Robert paused in emphasis, "him in any way, would we?"

I shook my head no as I began to realize what Robert was suggesting.

"Good," Robert smiled. "I will bring you something to eat and then we'll talk some more."

He stood up and after giving me a few more sips of the water left the room. Helpless and afraid I thought of Chris and wondered what Robert would do to him if I rebelled and didn't cooperate.

Several minutes later he returned with a small plate of food. He hand-fed me and while he did, he told me all the things he expected from me. Then he assured me he loved me and that I would soon be myself again.

When he felt like I'd had enough to eat Robert refilled my water glass and encouraged me to drink as much as I could then left. I heard him talking to Christopher in the hallway and it brought tears to my eyes. I was so fearful for my son and what might happen to him if I disobeyed Robert.

It was difficult to make out their conversation with the door closed but I understood that Robert was reassuring Chris and ushering him away. Though I was weak and still in a great deal of pain the food and water had helped make me more comfortable and I fell asleep not long after they finished talking. I didn't wake up again until evening when Robert brought me dinner.

He sat on the bed just as he had earlier and helped me eat and drink my fill then left with hardly a word. My aches and pains dulled and I felt somewhat optimistic that the worst was over. An hour or two ticked by and since I couldn't do anything else I strained my ears and tried to picture what was happening beyond my prison.

Eventually I heard Robert helping Chris getting ready for bed. "Can I say goodnight to Momma?" he asked.

"No, she is sleeping and if we wake her, she will not get the rest she needs to get better," Robert told him.

Chris sounded disappointed but agreed with his father and obediently went to bed. Again I listened and waited. I dozed off but woke up hours later when Robert slid into bed beside me. I smelled alcohol on his breath and though I wanted him to believe I was asleep, I turned my face in order to get away from the stench.

"What's the matter love?" he rolled on top of me.

"Oh God, no!" my mind shouted. I recklessly fought against him as he thrust his hand between my legs.

"Stop fighting," he hissed but I couldn't; I would have done anything to keep him from exploiting me again.

He struck me and I cried out loud and mournful.

"Shut up! Shut up, whore!" he covered my mouth with his hand.

I couldn't breathe and knew I had no choice but to stop fighting and give in to Robert's will or he would suffocate me. I let all the tension leave my body and lay still and lifeless. When Robert realized that he'd won he loosened his grip and again tried to violate me. But he couldn't; there was nothing there. His member wouldn't cooperate and just hung unimposing and limp between his legs.

The humiliation was too much for him and it ignited a ferocious rage within him. Robert beat me from consciousness again while I mindlessly prayed for God to release me; to let me be swept away from it all and free me from the horror and pain I was experiencing. When he exhausted himself and realized what he had done, Robert dragged himself away. He went to the kitchen and drowned his guilt and sorrow in another of the bottles he had so recently purchased and stocked in the pantry.

## Chapter Fifteen

John was a bundle of nerves at the restaurant. Niall told him the day after Robert came back I wouldn't be in. He said I would send him a message as soon as I had a chance. That was almost a week ago and he still hadn't heard from me. John wasn't comfortable working alone and making decisions without someone to defer judgment to. When he got to work the following morning he made up his mind to do something about it.

There was a phone in the office that was hardly ever used and a handful of important contacts. He lifted the receiver and had the switchboard ring Deaglan's number. It was early and the operator came back three times to tell John that no one was answering.

"Please keep trying," he said.

After the fourth attempt someone picked up on the other end, "Deaglan O'Donnell."

"Deaglan, thank goodness! It's John at the restaurant. Listen, Valerie hasn't been in touch with me all week and I'm not sure what to do. The checkbook is in the safe and she never gave me the combination. I have suppliers asking for payments and no way to settle with them."

"Why isn't Valerie working?"

"Her husband came back, or at least that's what Niall said. Listen, I don't know how to contact her and I really need..."

Deaglan grew a little impatient and frustrated. He wondered why I hadn't taught John how to handle these things before taking time off, "I'll send Niall by Valerie's to get the combination. In the meantime just pay with cash and make sure you get a receipt."

"Oh, yes, of course," John said "I should have thought of that."

"Is there anything else?"

"No...no...that was it," John answered apologetically. The receiver went dead. "Deaglan? Deaglan?"

"I'm sorry sir, your party hung up."

"Oh, thank you," John mumbled and put the receiver back down.

Deaglan took a deep breath and considered coming to see me himself so we would have a chance to talk again about signing the papers. He discarded the idea though because he was still feeling the weight of our last goodbye and wasn't sure he could face me. He sent for Niall instead.

An hour later cursing and angry for being summoned to play messenger Niall found himself behind the wheel and headed to my apartment. He knocked and much to his surprise Chris answered.

"Hey Chris, is your mum here?"

Before Christopher could answer Robert stumbled up beside him, "No, she's out," Robert said. "I'll tell her you stopped by." He started to close the door.

Niall noticed the subtle shake of the head Chris sent him and the fearful expression in his eyes. He looked up at Niall imploringly. Robert wasn't aware but the commotion he caused the previous night had woken Christopher and he heard everything that happened. Though he was too young to understand exactly what had taken place Chris realized something was wrong and that I needed help. He told himself over and over again to be brave as Niall grew more and more suspicious.

"She's in bed!" Chris shouted before Robert managed to get the door closed. Niall threw his weight against it and forced himself in.

"Where?" he looked at Chris who pointed down the hallway. Niall found the door at once and flung it open.

The scene that greeted him was horrifying but he didn't hesitate to act. When Robert tried to stop him Niall grabbed him by the collar and laid him out with a brutal blow to the face. Robert fell to the floor and knowing he didn't have a chance against Niall scurried from the room. Niall freed me from my bonds then cradled me up and called to Chris.

"Chris!" He looked this way and that.

"Christopher!" There was no reply. "Damn it!" Niall shouted when he realized that Robert must have taken him.

My head was lolling; my body limp broken and bruised. Niall carried me down and arranged me in the backseat. He couldn't make up his mind what to do and drove me to Deaglan's.

He pulled into the driveway honking and screaming as he screeched to a halt. Deaglan made it halfway down the front steps as Niall urged me from the backseat.

"Valerie!" Deaglan shouted. Again, "Valerie," his feet wouldn't carry him fast enough as he hurried towards us fearing the worst.

"Dear God, what happened?"

"That bastard husband of hers had her tied up in their bedroom. Chris told me and I found her like this." "Chris? Where is he?"

Niall was reluctant to answer.

"Where is he?!"

"Robert has him." He admitted.

Deaglan swore, "Give her to me! Take the car, go back! Go find him and bring him here!"

"She needs a doctor," Niall insisted.

"Do you think I don't know that?! Take the fucking car Niall and find the boy! I'll get the doctor! I'll take care of Valerie," he held his arms out. Then seeing the concern in Niall's eyes confidently added, "Don't worry; I swear, I swear, she will not die!"

Satisfied with what Deaglan said Niall spun away and drove off to search for Chris.

After hearing his voice I felt a moment of lucidity, "Deaglan?" it came out raspy and weak.

"Ssh, Valerie; don't speak," he brushed the hair from my eyes. "You're safe now," he carried me inside.

Deaglan brought me to a bedroom and with great care laid me down before hurrying away to call the doctor.

"Don't," a voice commanded when he picked up the receiver.

"Gabriel, what are you doing here?" Deaglan eyed his friend as he stood in the doorway.

Gabriel stumbled forward his skin rippling and blistering in the mid-morning light. Deaglan hurried toward the windows and drew the heavy curtains closed. He flicked on one of the lamps so he would have enough light to see by and asked again.

"What are you doing here, Gabriel?"

"She's dying Deaglan; she's nearly gone. I can feel it, it's too late for a doctor! I need to go to her. Take me to her," Gabriel begged and though his skin was no longer searing, tendrils of smoke still rose from his flesh.

"No," Deaglan shook his head. "No, you swore, Gabriel, you swore! It doesn't matter how much you love her, this is a different life...a different lifetime for both of you. She doesn't remember you, she wasn't meant to know you in this lifetime. Think what it would do to her...think what you might do to her. I can't let that happen. You swore...we swore. No more killing, Gabriel and no more killers!"

"Is that what you think I am Deaglan? A killer?"

"No...no, it was never that way for you. We made the rules; we made the rules together and I helped you follow them ever since."

"There are no rules for this...for what has happened. I can save her; let me try."

"And what if you can't stop Gabriel? What if you do too much?"

"You can stop me, Deaglan. You know the way," Gabriel spoke calmly, so assuredly.

Deaglan desperately wanted to believe him, "No, Gabriel, no. I'm sorry but no. I will not help you do this."

"I could make you," Gabriel asserted.

"You wouldn't!"

"I'll help you," Gavin stepped into the room.

Deaglan's face went ashen with shock. He looked from Gabriel to Gavin and back again, "What have you done Gabriel? Why is he free?"

"I let him go." Gabriel stated.

"In case you said no," Gavin added. "He's not strong enough at the moment and there's not enough time to find someone else. If you won't give him what he needs to help her, I will."

Deaglan stood defiant and though not completely unwilling, unable to risk what he knew would be worse than losing Valerie.

Gabriel smiled sadly at Deaglan as Gavin raised his arm and offered it to Gabriel, "Take what you need; it shouldn't be much."

Deaglan lunged for them but it was no use. The pair moved too fast and were beyond his reach. "Don't do it Gabriel! He can't be trusted. He's letting you do this for a reason; there must be some other motive!"

Gabriel ignored his friend's advice and latched onto Gavin's wrist. He took several deep pulls from his veins.

"Enough," Gavin slumped to his knees as Gabriel backed away.

Deaglan watched the exchange in horror. He begged and pleaded for them not to do it, "Don't take the chance...please, Gabriel! Everything we have worked for, everything you have tried so hard to become. Don't throw it away! Vivienne wouldn't want this; she couldn't bear to see you throw it all away when there are no guarantees!"

Gabriel walked towards the bedrooms and Deaglan tried to follow all the while persisting in his efforts to dissuade his friend from what he was about to do.

"She won't love you – she can't love you! Not as you are now!"

Gavin seized Deaglan before he could get to the door and chase after Gabriel. "Shut up you self-righteous son of a bitch!" Gavin rose and wrapped his mouth around Deaglan's neck and drained him where they stood.

"Deaglan?" Niall had come back. They heard him approaching and Gavin knew he was still too weak to fight. Realizing he had no choice but to flee he released Deaglan and darted away before Niall saw him.

"Deaglan, what happened?" Niall bent to help him up.

"Nothing; I'm fine," he shook Niall off.

"How's Valerie?"

Deaglan didn't answer, "Did you find Christopher?"

"No," Niall shook his head.

"Then why are you here?!"

"I can't think of anywhere else to look," Niall threw his hands up in surrender.

"I don't have time for this right now. Keep the car...keep the car and keep looking until you find them!"

"Yeah, but what about Valerie?"

"He's with her..." Deaglan bit his lip to keep from saying anything more. He needed to get to her, get to her before Gabriel did what he planned to do.

"Who, the doctor?"

"Yes, yes, the doctor, who else?" Deaglan paused deep in thought, "Maybe...they'll go back...they'll go back at some point. It's cold and they'll need clothes and a place to sleep." He said as pictured the possibility. "Wait...wait at the apartment until they do. Don't let anything happen to him...don't let anything happen to Christopher!"

Niall liked the plan, it was better than anything he could come up with, "I won't! I'll kill that asshole before I let him hurt that boy!"

"Good! Go!"

Deaglan waited for the sound of the front door then raced down the hallway to where I was resting. He burst across the threshold and stopped dead in his tracks. What he saw overwhelmed him but he couldn't turn himself away. Gabriel had eased me to sitting and gathered all my hair back, away from face. He severed his wrist and held it to my mouth as he bent his lips to my neck and our lives began to slowly course one into the other.

It was heartbreaking to witness but Deaglan knew it was the only way. He also realized he had to act, he had to stop us before it was too late. He took a step forward then laid a hand on Gabriel's shoulder, "Stop Gabriel...Please stop..."

Then suddenly as if he were sleeping and had just awakened from a terrible dream Gabriel jumped up. He turned his eyes on Deaglan and then on me. Deaglan followed his gaze and his mouth dropped open as he watched my countless wounds transforming themselves and healing right before his eyes.

"It was too much!" Deaglan cried.

"No," Gabriel shook his head. "No, I'm sure of it. I would know...I would feel it," he insisted. Gabriel moved back into the shadows, "Open the curtains so we can see for sure."

Deaglan hurried over and flung them wide. Nothing happened; I lay still and peaceful bathed in the midday light.

"You did it, Gabriel! You did it!"

But he was speaking to no one. Gabriel was gone.

## Chapter Sixteen

I felt like someone was staring at me. I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was a friendly face covered in fur eagerly waiting for me to stir.

"Oh," I sat up and smiled. "Who are you?" I took the face in my hands and it rewarded me with a series of sloppy kisses.

"That is Lizzie," Deaglan chuckled as he came into the room carrying a breakfast tray. Another massive bundle of fur was following on his heels. It brushed by him and stationed itself at Lizzie's side, "And that is Darcy."

Darcy shouldered Lizzie out of his way and demanded some of the attention I had been lavishing on her. "Are they wolfhounds? I've heard of them, but I've never seen one before."

Deaglan raised his eyebrows, "Yes, yes they are!" he said his voice full of surprise as he shooed them away and arranged the tray across my knees. The two dogs grudgingly trotted off and curled themselves into balls on one of the nearby carpets. "Are you ready to eat?"

"I'm not very hungry," I apologized.

"Valerie," Deaglan reprimanded, "you've been asleep for 18 hours and goodness knows when you ate last!" He took a seat at the foot of the bed.

"Really, that long...huh...no wonder I feel so good," I chirped. "And this bed," I slumped back against the pillows, "it's just amazing! Who wouldn't want to sleep in a bed like this?" Then I frowned, "Why am I sleeping in a bed like this, anyway? Where am I and why am I here?"

"You're in my home, Valerie, don't you remember?"

I rolled my eyes and tried to recall, "Uh, no...the last thing I remember...hmm...Robert came home and...and I guess...well, I guess that's it."

"Gabriel," Deaglan whispered wonderingly.

"What's that Deaglan?"

"Oh, nothing," he chuckled. "Come eat your breakfast."

I really didn't want to eat. I wasn't hungry at all but I took up the silverware anyway and tried a bite of the eggs Deaglan had made for me. He watched expectantly but his concern was unwarranted; as soon as I finished the first mouthful, I found my appetite. It was ravenous and I forgot myself as I dug in and cleared my plate.

"Not so fast, Val, you'll hurt yourself."

"Oops," I giggled as I stuffed a bit of toast that escaped the corner of my mouth back in. "Where's Chris?" I asked as I washed it all down with a swig from the coffee that was on the tray.

Deaglan seemed to stutter a word or two before finally saying, "He's with Robert."

"Oh, so they're not here?"

"No, Valerie. You've been very sick and the doctor told us it would be best to limit your visitors."

"Is that why I'm here?"

"Yes, Valerie."

"How did I get here?"

"Niall brought you. He stopped by to get the combination to the safe for John and Robert told him you weren't well. When I found out I had Niall offer to bring you here so I could have my doctor take a look at you."

I shook my head, "I can't believe I don't remember any of this."

"Well, it's no wonder, really, a fever like that... We've all been very worried about you, but it passed quite quickly once they got you here."

I smiled, "Well, thank you for taking such good care of me. When can I go home?" I ran my fingers over the covers, "Not that I'm in any hurry, but I'd like to see Chris and spend some time with Robert."

Deaglan looked nervously away, "Oh, not yet, not just yet. Perhaps In a few days; you might still be contagious and you wouldn't want to get either of them sick would you?"

My eyes went wide, "Oh, no...no that would be terrible! I would never forgive myself especially after everything Robert has been through."

I thought I saw a flash of anger in Deaglan's eyes but it vanished, "Have you had enough? Here, let me get this," he stood up but gave me a chance to grab my coffee before removing the tray.

The dogs decided it was safe to come back once Deaglan left the room. They sidled up to the bed, "Oh, aren't you two just the most demanding," I teased.

Darcy nudged Lizzie out of the way again but she came up with a solution to the snub. She waltzed around to the opposite side of the bed then hoisted herself up beside me. She lay down and let me stroke her belly. Darcy was not to be outdone, though, and he climbed up at the foot of the bed then nestled at my feet.

"Aww, this is nice," I sighed and before I knew it I was sound asleep again.

When Deaglan came back and found the three of us that way he shook his head at the dogs. They didn't move, though, just glanced back at him with their expressive eyes seeming to say please let us stay. "Fine," he whispered, "but let her rest!"

The dogs gave a little half wag of their tails and Deaglan drew the door closed. He went to his office and shut himself in so he could be alone and take some time to think.

Niall hadn't found Robert and Christopher yet. He and John both kept asking for me. Deaglan knew he couldn't let either of them see me, not yet anyway. Niall would never believe that I had recovered so quickly and without so much as a scar or a scratch as evidence to what I'd been through.

Then there was the problem of Robert, "Gabriel must have done something...taken the memory of what happened from her. She doesn't remember what Robert did and that means...that means she won't leave him...doesn't realize that she needs to leave Robert." Deaglan buried his face in his hands, "Oh, but Gabriel knows...he knows Robert nearly killed her! Oh, God, what will he do if he finds him...What would Gabriel do to him if Robert were to cross his path?!"

"We'll have to find him first. I'll hire a private detective to comb the city for them. In the meantime I'll tell Valerie that Robert went away and brought Chris with him...they went to visit his family. No, I don't know if he has any family...an army buddy...Maybe. I could tell Valerie what happened... No! No, I can't...would she even believe me? Not without proof...not without...I can't tell her about Gabriel!" Deaglan slammed his fist on the desk. "Damn it, Gabriel!" Deaglan's face went livid with anger but a moment later his expression changed to sorrow. "I would have done the same," he sighed. "He was right to spare Valerie the memory. I wouldn't have done any differently."

That evening Deaglan let me get up and we had dinner together. "Robert and Chris came by while you were sleeping," he said.

"Oh, I missed them?"

"Yes, I'm sorry...they couldn't stay long...They, uh, they went to Philadelphia."

"Philadelphia? What on Earth for?" I exclaimed.

Deaglan dabbed at his mouth with his napkin and sipped his wine, "An army buddy of Robert's. He passed away and they went to stay with his family and take part in his funeral."

I felt terrible for my initial reaction, "I wish I had known. I could have gone with them."

"It's better that you didn't. The doctor said it would be best to keep you indoors rather than risk a relapse or worse. He said a fever like yours might make you very susceptible to pneumonia."

I rolled my eyes, "Sounds overly cautious to me. I'm sure it would have been fine. Honestly, I feel better than I've ever felt."

Deaglan gave me a little guffaw, "If you had seen yourself a few days ago you wouldn't be so sure. You gave us all quite a scare."

"Anyway..." I brushed the remark off, "why didn't you wake me?"

Deaglan chuckled again, "Your wardens wouldn't let us get near you!"

"Wardens?" I asked puzzled.

"Yeah, Darcy...Lizzie...they had you surrounded and wouldn't let us get close enough to wake you." I almost snorted my wine it struck me as so funny. Deaglan smiled warmly, "Besides they had a train to catch and were already running late."

I nodded, "I understand but I miss Chris...and well, Robert and I haven't had a chance to reconnect yet."

"Don't worry, they'll be back before you know it. In the meantime you have a restaurant to run," Deaglan eyed me across the table. "Have you given any more thought to Mr. Bergeron's offer?"

"No...I mean maybe...yes, actually..." I took another gulp of wine while I gathered my thoughts, "I will sign the papers, Deaglan. I will sign them but only if you promise that this won't change; that even though we would no longer be business partners, we would still be friends."

Deaglan looked touched. He raised his glass to mine, "We will always be friends."

I smiled triumphantly.

After I finished the week convalescing at Deaglan's I finally convinced him I was well enough and that I needed to go home. I didn't really want to leave, especially after seeing a side of Deaglan I had never seen before. And of course there was Lizzie and Darcy who I had grown attached to. It felt like I was imposing though and taking far too much advantage of Deaglan's generosity.

I resumed my responsibilities at The Lost and Found the beginning of the week and since Mr. Bergeron was out of town again Deaglan offered to drive me back and forth. I hadn't heard from Robert and Chris and at first it didn't bother me. There was a lot to do at work and I had so many things to catch-up on. John had done his best and managed very well without me. There were several things, however, we hadn't gone over or only touched on that he didn't get to.

Once everything was running smoothly again though, I realized how much time had passed and I started to get worried. I checked the post every night as soon as I got home but always to my disappointment. I asked Deaglan if Robert had mentioned where he would be staying and if he left a note with some way to get in touch with him.

He frowned and shook his head, "No, he didn't mention anything to me."

"Hmm," I mumbled, "I wonder why he hasn't written. Did he say how long he expected to stay?"

"A week, two weeks...I'm sorry Valerie, I'm really not sure."

I let it go for the time being but after a few more days passed my anxiety began peak. "Deaglan, I really think something's wrong. I still haven't heard from Robert and now it's March and I'm sure he wouldn't stay away this long without writing. Even when he was in France he wrote regularly; it's not like him to just go away like this and not keep in touch."

"Maybe you're right Valerie," he agreed. "I'll see what I can find out."

I breathed a sigh of relief. Deaglan was the most capable person I knew and I was certain that if anyone would be able to find my family he would.

Each morning or evening when he picked me up, though, he only added to my concern. I would give him a questioning look and he would give a subtle shake of the head no. My heart grew heavier and heavier and I worried that I might never see them again. I didn't think I could live without Christopher; wondered how I would go on with life when the one thing that made it worth living was nowhere to be found.

Before I knew it, it was April and something new was added to my fears for Robert and Christopher. The newspapers kept mentioning an epidemic. People, vast numbers of people were getting sick at an alarming rate. It started with servicemen and people who lived near the harbor. It spread so fast and it wasn't just Boston, but all across the country, people were becoming ill, incurably ill...deadly ill.

## Chapter Seventeen

It was a challenge to do the day-to-day things while bearing so much fear and grief. I couldn't eat and had trouble sleeping. I did my best to show a happy exterior especially at work but all my apprehension was gnawing away at me.

After yet another day with still no word I cried out, "Oh, God, Deaglan! What if they are in Philadelphia and they are sick and they need me?!"

"Oh, Valerie, if they were in Philadelphia we would have heard by now. If they were anywhere, something would have turned up. It may be...it might be time to..."

"No, Deaglan! Absolutely not! I will not accept that; I will not believe that they are...they are...gone..." I sobbed.

He stopped the car, "I'm sorry, Valerie. I shouldn't have suggested it. You're right. It's too soon to assume the worst." He took a deep breath, "You shouldn't be working; not when you're feeling like this. Take tomorrow off; take as much time as you need. John and I can cover for you. Go home and take it easy."

"No," I shook my head, "I can't stay home. The apartment is so empty and lonely and everything in it reminds me of Chris! I need to work and keep my mind busy or I'll just go crazy."

"Then come stay with me. Darcy and Lizzie miss you, and to be honest, I do too. They haven't been the same since you left and with Gabriel away..."

I smiled weakly as I considered the offer, "Sure, Deaglan, that sounds nice."

"Good, let's go get your things, forget about work for a while. I can call John once we get you settled and we'll figure out a schedule."

I nodded assent and Deaglan pulled the car from the curb then we continued on our way to my apartment. While he waited I packed enough clothes and personal effects to get me by then found Christopher's stuffed bear to bring with me, too. After I took one last, long look around Deaglan helped me gather up my things and he drove us home.

Darcy and Lizzie bounded out as soon as they heard the car and smothered me with their affection. Deaglan did his best to corral them but he was no match for their united efforts to welcome me back. Eventually they let us pass and I followed Deaglan to the bedroom I had temporarily resided in not so very long ago. He stowed all my belongings and told me he would start dinner for us.

"Take your time," he encouraged as he closed the door and left.

For a long while I sat on the edge of the bed wondering about my circumstances. The dogs stationed themselves one on each side of me and laid their heads in my lap. I absently stroked their ears and tried to imagine all the possibilities.

"Had they made it to Philadelphia? Did something happen while they were there, or on their way back? What if they never even made it to the train and out of Boston? But what might have stopped them?" Nothing I came up with seemed plausible and I knew they couldn't have just vanished without a trace. "Someone had to have seen them somewhere, at some point."

I could smell Deaglan's cooking and knew I had delayed as long as I dared without worrying him unnecessarily. Darcy and Lizzie followed me to the kitchen and when we got there, I asked if there was anything I could do to help. He handed me a couple of napkins and some silverware, "Would you mind setting the table for us?"

My ideas continued to plague me all through dinner while I pushed the food on my plate around.

"Please try to eat Valerie, you've given the dogs more than you've eaten yourself."

I tried to shake the haze from my head, "I'm sorry, Deaglan. Maybe...Maybe I need a distraction. Tell me about Gabriel," I suggested, "and how the two of you met."

He had a haunted look in his eyes that seemed to suggest he'd rather not talk about him. I immediately regretted the question and looked away. I tried to think of some other topic. Much to my surprise, though, Deaglan began to speak.

"I lived in Ireland until I was 15. We were quite poor and when my father died my mother couldn't keep up with our rent and other necessities. So we moved to France to live with her sister. My aunt had married a naval officer and when his enlistment ended, they leased a small farm on a vineyard in Montagrier."

Deaglan had an exceptional voice for storytelling and as he spoke I hypnotically ate and drank while listening to everything he said.

"It had taken quite a toll on my mother; the move. She wasn't a hardy woman to begin with, and I think that losing my father and giving up the only home she had ever known; it was just too much for her. Then she, too, passed on and I had nowhere else to go. So my aunt and her husband let me stay. I did my best to help support us all and contribute to the needs of our household. I spoke very little French then; mostly what I learned from my new family. It sounded atrocious, too, especially with my Irish brogue," Deaglan laughed at the remembrance.

"When I looked for work at the other nearby farms, the only person who understood me was Gabriel. He was a stable boy at the time and about the same age as I was. I can't tell you what a relief it was to have met him! We were instant friends and after convincing the livestock manager of my merits we became workmates. We spent almost all our time together."

"Gabriel was one of those rare people; the kind you just enjoyed being around. It was impossible not to love him. He would have done anything for anyone and somehow would have made you feel like you were doing him the favor by letting him help you. And he wasn't just a stable boy. He had so many gifts. During his free time he would read and write and draw and his mind would be so full of everything but the ordinary and the day to day."

Deaglan's description made me think of Kate and I wondered if everyone had a friend like that. A magical person who you needed to be close to; someone whose life you had to be a part of.

"Would you like some more?" Deaglan paused and asked.

I hadn't realized it but somehow I cleared my plate while he talked. "No," I smiled, "I'm quite full. So Gabriel was a stable boy, huh? How did he get to be so...so affluent?"

Deaglan seemed reluctant to answer at first. He knitted his brows and again I realized I had asked another difficult question for Deaglan to answer.

"Love, I guess...isn't that what drives us all?" Deaglan looked at me oddly and it made me very uncomfortable. "It's really not my place to tell you anything more than that," he said. Then he sighed, "I guess he felt he needed to become more than he was for the woman he loved."

"Oh," I said, "I never realized that Mr. Bergeron is married."

"He's not," the words tumbled out before Deaglan could stop them. "She passed away and he ever had the chance to show her all he had accomplished in order for them to share their lives together."

There were tears standing in my eyes, "Oh, Deaglan," I cried, "why must there be so much sorrow in the world?"

"I don't know, Valerie, but maybe it's there to teach us to better appreciate happiness when it finally does manage to find us."

We sat in silence for several minutes; each in our own thoughts.

"Thank you, Deaglan. Thank you for having me, and, well, for everything."

I helped him clean up and when we finished Deaglan told me he had some errands to run. It struck me as odd, his needing to go out at such a late hour, but I felt I had asked enough questions for one day. He showed me his library before he said goodnight and that he hoped to see me in the morning.

Darcy and Lizzie kept me company as I whiled away the hours reading snippets from a variety of books. It was quiet and comforting having the dogs at my feet. I started to get drowsy but just before I drifted off the dogs suddenly bound to attention. A moment later Niall and another man I didn't recognize burst into the library.

"Deaglan! Deaglan, we found them!"

My heart skipped a beat, "Found who, Niall?" I stood up nervous and shaking.

"Valerie?! What are you doing here?!"

"Deaglan invited me." Again I asked "Found who?" though I was sure I knew the answer.

Niall avoided my question, "Where's Deaglan? I need to see him."

"He's out. I don't know where," I looked from Niall to the stranger and back again. "Tell me, Niall, please tell me!" I begged. "Did you find Robert and Christopher? Are they...are they..."

Niall finally answered with great reluctance, "They're alive, Valerie, but they're very sick."

"Where are they?!" I demanded. "Where are they?!"

"In a hospice just outside the city."

"Take me there!" I marched toward the door. When Niall didn't move I looked back, "Take me there now, Niall!"

The two men exchanged a look that was impossible to decipher and followed me to the car. A half an hour later we arrived at the hospice. I hurried in and after explaining who I was and who I was looking for a nurse brought me to Robert's side.

He was horrible to look at; his skin an impossible shade and covered in beads of sweat, his eyes lolling and tendrils of drool dribbling from the corners of his mouth and the stench! I covered my nose as I looked him over. He was filthy and it appeared as though he hadn't bathed or shaven since the day he had gone missing.

I asked the nurse to bring me to Chris and to my utter distress found him in similar circumstances. The hospice was in no better shape than the two of them and quite overcrowded. When I looked around, the sheer weight of it all suddenly hit me. Thankfully, Niall and the other gentleman were close at hand and they steadied me before I fell faint. I shook it off and as I did, I made my decision.

"Bring them to the car!" I commanded.

Niall started to argue but I wouldn't hear any of it. I insisted that we get them to Deaglan's. They gathered Robert between them and I wrapped Chris in the sheet he was lying under and cradled him up. The nurse tried to stop us but I pushed her aside and we all made our way out.

Niall roughly arranged Robert in the backseat and I sat down beside him clutching Christopher to my chest. Niall took the wheel and eased the car out of the parking space then turned us back toward the city. "Are you sure you want to do this? After what he put you through...you should have left that bastard at the hospice! Deaglan will be beside himself!"

"Why on Earth would you say that?"

Niall rolled his eyes at me in the mirror, made a disappointed grunt while mumbling something under his breath and completely inarticulate to me. He didn't say anything else the entire ride but I saw him glancing in the mirror every few minutes and wondered why he seemed so upset.

Deaglan came out to meet us almost as soon as we arrived. "Where have you been?" he demanded as he approached the car.

I hopped from the backseat with Chris in my arms, "Oh, Deaglan! Thank God, they found them. You have to help them! Please," I begged, "call your doctor; the one who looked after me and ask him to come help them!"

At first Deaglan didn't understand what I was saying. As he surveyed the scene, though, it seemed like déjà vu and he was reliving the moment when Niall brought me to him. Once the situation became clear he issued his command, "Get him inside," Deaglan nodded to Niall who wrestled Robert from the backseat. Deaglan approached me and offered to take Chris from my arms. I reluctantly released my hold on him and hurried behind the group as they carried the invalids indoors.

They brought Robert and Christopher to another wing of the house and laid them in a pair of matching beds. While I hovered over them and mopped their brows, Niall began arguing with Deaglan. I could hear his voice rising with every word but my fear kept me from making any sense of their conversation.

Deaglan hushed him as he looked over Niall's shoulder to where I sat. I saw Niall turn and stare at me in disbelief. His expression softened and it seemed like Deaglan had cleared up some misunderstanding. After a few more words solely for one another Niall came over and very solemnly stated how sorry he was for how things had turned out.

"We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers," he laid his hand on my shoulder and said goodnight.

"Thank you, Niall; it means a lot."

After he left Deaglan said he would call the doctor for me. The way he said it, though, and the expression in his eyes made me think that in his mind, Chris and Robert were beyond help. Before he left us, I asked him to bring me something I could clean them up with and possibly some clothes to change them into.

"Of course," Deaglan brought the things he found. Afterwards, he left me to care for my family while he went to his office and made arrangements for the doctor to see them.

## Chapter Eighteen

Deaglan and I stood in the corner the following morning as the doctor examined both Robert and Christopher. His expression never wavered and it was impossible to tell whether he would give us a good prognosis or bad one.

When he finished looking them over, he packed his kit back up then came and stood in front of us. "There's nothing we can do except hope and pray that their lungs don't fill up with fluid."

"No," I shook my head, "there must be something. There has to be something you can do! I got better. You helped me; whatever you did for me you must do for them. You have to help them!"

Though the doctor looked from me to Deaglan and back again he didn't acknowledge what I said. He must have assumed I had mistaken him for another doctor or that I was simply hysterical. Deaglan offered to show him out.

"Please," I pleaded one last time.

The doctor apologized again and Deaglan led him away. I made my way to Chris' bed and sat on the edge. I stroked his hair while I waited for Deaglan to return. I felt like he had duped me and not provided Robert and Christopher with the same capable doctor who treated me.

As soon as he came into the room I confronted him, "How could you do this to me? Why would you do this to them?"

"What do you mean Valerie?" he asked puzzled.

"That was not the same doctor who treated me; he couldn't possibly be! He practically gave them a...a death sentence!" I sobbed.

"Valerie," Deaglan wrapped his arms around me and tried to comfort me while whispering words of encouragement. "I understand what you are feeling...but Robert and Chris...it's different for them. They are too far gone. Niall brought you here right away, before the illness took too firm a hold of you; that's the only reason you got better. You had immediate care. Who knows how long Robert and Chris have been sick? How long they have gone without treatment. You saw them at the hospice; imagine what they had been through before you finally found them and brought them here."

Part of me wanted to believe Deaglan; I saw the truth of what he was saying but I was so overwhelmed by the possibility of losing them that I wouldn't accept it.

"They will get better!" I insisted. "Whatever I have to do, I'll do it!! I will take care of them and they will get better!!"

Deaglan held me tighter and kissed me on the top of my head. After I quieted down he softly agreed, "Of course they will. We will do everything we can to make them better," and though he didn't sound convincing I tried to believe him, anyway.

I kept a near constant vigil and nursed the two of them as best I could while stealing intervals of sleep. I bathed their brows and forced sips of water between their lips. Once I tried feeding them soup but the bits of meat and veggies got stuck in their throats. Then I had Deaglan strain it for me so they would at least get some good from the broth. He did everything I asked without question but I could tell how fruitless he thought all of my efforts would prove to be.

My clumsy attempts to feed them soiled the sheets and the clothes that Deaglan rummaged up for them. Deaglan had plenty of linens which I made full use of but he was having a hard time coming up with anything for Robert or Chris to wear. He suggested that I take a respite from nursing and make a trip to my apartment to get a few of their belongings.

"You need a break, Valerie and a change of scenery. You'll wear yourself out and then you won't be able to care for them at all."

Reluctantly, I agreed and asked if he would have Niall come by to bring me. He offered to take me himself but I wasn't willing to leave them alone. I asked him if he would please stay and watch over Robert and Chris for me while I was gone.

"Of course I will," he said then made arrangements for Niall to come by later that afternoon. "Why don't you go freshen up and lie down for a bit," he glanced toward the mirror and I followed his gaze. I hadn't realized how disheveled and unkempt I had let myself become. Though I resented Deaglan for shooing me away, I took his advice and wandered off to my own room.

Hours later there was a soft knock at my bedroom door. It creaked open and the dogs padded in. They nudged me awake while Deaglan stood in the doorway.

"Niall is here," he called, "he's waiting for you in the kitchen."

I shook the haze from my head. "Alright. I'll be right there."

I stopped by Robert's and Christopher's room to say goodbye to them and Deaglan. Not many more minutes later Niall and I were on our way. I sat deep in thought the entire ride and when we pulled up to my building Niall had to call my name more than once to let me know we were there.

"Would you like me to come up with you?" he asked.

"No, I won't be long," I assured him.

From the moment I stepped into the apartment until the moment I stepped out the memories of the life I had lived there assaulted me. I moved from room to room touching all the objects that caught my eye or held a particularly happy memory. I stored them all up before I gathered the things I wanted for Chris and for Robert. As I checked our bedroom one last time I remembered my rosary and fished it out of the nightstand before heading back down to where Niall was waiting.

He hopped out of the car when he saw me and all the various items I carried. Niall helped me stow them in the backseat and got us on our way again. For most of the drive I sat quietly with my head down and fumbled with my beads. There was a church, a Catholic church a few blocks from where Deaglan lived. I admired it more than once in passing. Suddenly remembering the doctor's words, "There's nothing we can do but hope and pray," I looked up and saw the church just beyond my window.

"Niall, wait, stop here. I want to get out and walk the rest of the way."

He pulled to the curb then leaned around and peered at me with a questioning look in his eye, "Why?" he asked. I looked back at the church, "Ah, I see," Niall turned the car off.

"Would you mind taking all this in to Deaglan?"

Niall shook his head no and helped me from the backseat. I stood on the curb and watched him pull away then squared my shoulders and walked back to the church. It was uncomfortable for me to be there, especially as I considered how often I had actually gone to services as of late. I looked around and after locating them I lit two tapers; one for Robert and one for Chris.

Then I took a seat at one of the pews, removed my rosary and began reciting my prayers. My words came automatically and when I mumbled the last of them I took a deep breath and tried to collect my thoughts.

I was nervous and my heart was pounding because I kept telling myself I had no right to be there; no right to be asking God for his help again. I felt like a hypocrite for more or less shunning my faith until there were no other resources for me to turn to. Then I had the horrible realization that I didn't deserve God's help. I begged for Robert's life not so very long ago and made promises I was sure I hadn't kept.

"Oh, Lord, please don't punish me by taking Chris!"

I whispered a chaotic series of pleas for their lives. I sat at the pew; my hands grasping the back of the bench in front of me, my head resting between my arms and my tears falling to the floor. An hour slowly passed and throughout that time I was mercifully alone in the church and able to unburden myself without restraint.

I gasped when someone laid their hand over mine. I looked up and found myself staring into a pair of eyes an impossible shade to discern peering pitifully down at me. My heart skipped a beat as I brushed my tears away and fought to compose myself.

"I'm sorry," my words trembled out, "was I disturbing you," I sniffled as I tried to stifle my grief. I imagined how I must look and how unsettling it must be for a stranger to have to witness my unbridled sorrow.

"No," he shook his head and handed me a kerchief then graciously looked away as I dabbed at my face and blew my nose.

"Thank you," I smiled weakly and folded the cloth before offering it back to him and standing up.

His face was so serene, so peaceful and filled with an unearthly beauty. "You hold onto it," he insisted and took my hands. When his fingers wrapped around mine, my mind went wild with image after image in rapid succession of him, of me; it seemed like a thousand memories bombarded me at once and in every one of them I had the distinct impression that we were lovers.

He was looking down at me; deep into my eyes and for a dizzying moment I was certain that I knew him and that somehow he knew me; seemed to know everything about me. I frowned, "Who are you?" I asked.

He didn't answer but instead, "I can save them, I can save them both for you."

My knees buckled, "I...I...," the church seemed to be spinning.

"Three days," he continued, "you don't need to decide now. I will ask something in return, and you will have three days to consider it."

"How...what?" I was shaking and shivering, wondering if there was any possibility he was speaking the truth and he could save my husband and my son. "Are you a doctor?" I asked.

"No, Vivienne, I am not."

"Vivienne," I thought to myself, "he has me confused with some other person." Reluctantly I told him, "I think you've mistaken me for somebody else.

I tried to turn away but when I did I saw his jaw clench with pain or some other unwanted emotion. He seemed to be considering what I said. For a moment I regretted upsetting him but then I remembered that I was alone in the church and vulnerable. In fear I rejected the idea that he was being sincere and could help Rob and Chris. I knew I needed to get away from him as quickly as possible.

I shook my head and took a step back.

"Wait," he commanded, "let me show you."

My eyes went wide and my body tensed; I felt unable to do anything but watch as he drew a tiny, intricate knife from his pocket and seized my hand. He ran the razor-fine blade across my palm making an inch long incision in the middle of it. The blood began to pool and he brought my hand to his lips then delicately, intimately licked it away. He put the knife back in his pocket and exchanged it for a small vial that he uncapped. As he tilted it over my palm a drop or two dribbled into the wound he made. He smoothed it over the cut with the tip of his finger. My palm turned to ice then to fire and while it glistened in the dim light, my mouth fell open. The slit seemed to fold back in on itself and it healed into a perfectly flawless layer of skin.

I had never seen anything like it and knew there was nothing natural about what I had just witnessed. "You're the devil," I wanted to shout but the words came out in a whisper. I turned and tried to flee. He reached the end of the pew before I did and prevented my escape.

"It works on the inside too," he stated. "I can save them, Vivienne...Vivienne you can save them if you'll let me."

"No, no...It's not right. I can't, you can't...I won't let you." I turned and ran in the opposite direction.

He caught me before I was more than a few steps away. He took my chin and gently forced me to meet his gaze.

"Oh," I sighed and all my resistance faded to unimportance. I closed my eyes and felt his lips against my neck. The world slowly fell away. Time seemed to stand still; my heart stopped beating and all the air rushed from my lungs. As he held me, I could feel something filling my mind; an understanding crept into my thoughts. I knew what he planned to do and what it was I would need to do in exchange.

He pulled back, "Three days," he reminded, "if you are here in three days I will know that you have made your choice."

"Yes," I mumbled and suddenly I was alone and standing in a sea of disorientation in the middle of the church.

I pulled my coat tight around my waist and hurried for the door. As I made my way back to Deaglan's, though, every step I took seemed to erase the events from my mind. By the time I was there my visit to the church was all but forgotten.

## Chapter Nineteen

Niall had already come and gone by the time I got home. Deaglan helped him with all the things I collected from my apartment. Then Deaglan used some of the clothes to freshen up both Robert and Christopher. The rest he tucked away in the closet. Afterwards, he took all the personal effects and spent a few minutes arranging them on various surfaces throughout the room.

He was sitting in the corner reading when I came in to check on them, "How have they been?"

"Very much the same since you left," Deaglan put his book aside and stood up. "You had me worried, Niall said you stopped at St. Joseph's?"

"Yes, I did," I answered but frowned as I struggled to recall whether I had actually gone in.

"Are you alright, Valerie?" Deaglan's voice was full of concern.

"Yes, I'm fine."

"Valerie," Deaglan admonished, "you must know by now I can tell when you are not being honest with me."

I smiled, "Yes," I sighed, "I'm well aware. It's just...I don't...I was thinking about Robert and about Christopher," I looked over Deaglan's shoulder at them, "and then suddenly I was home. I don't even remember whether I ever went into the church or not."

Deaglan cocked his head at me and gave me a thorough inspection, "This is all too much for you Val. It's impossible for it not be. All this worry and the hours you've spent caring for them. You need some rest; both your body and your mind. Let me sit with them tonight. I'm wide awake, anyway."

Chris let out an audible moan and mumbled something in his sleep. "I can't Deaglan. I know you're right but I need to be here." Edging around him, I made my way to Chris' bed, "I can't be anywhere else." After I sat down, I took his hand in mine. One by one I kissed his fingers then laid my ear against his chest and hoped that the rasping in his lungs hadn't worsened at all.

Deaglan came and stood beside me, "I understand, Valerie," he caressed my shoulder. "I'm so sorry," he said. Then he brightened somewhat, "I know you won't leave but maybe we can make it a little more comfortable for you to stay. I think the two of us could carry the chaise if you would like to try bringing it here."

"Oh, that would be nice," I said. "Yes, lets."

I followed Deaglan to his library and together we lifted the chaise. We tilted it through the doorway and after one or two stops we managed to slide it into place beside Christopher's bed.

"It's heavier than it looks," I laughed as I slumped down on the plush cushions.

Deaglan smiled, "I'll get you some blankets."

He brought a few pillows, too, and after he arranged the chaise Deaglan said goodnight and left me to my watch. I stretched out and fell asleep not long afterwards. It wasn't a very deep sleep though and every time Chris stirred or coughed I immediately woke up. At one point I reached over and touched his forehead and felt how damp it had become. I flipped on the lights so I could dab his face with some cool water.

When I turned away to get the pitcher and basin I had the uncanny sense that besides Robert and Chris there was someone else in the room with us. "Who's there?" I called in the dim light even though it seemed little foolish. I wasn't expecting an answer, I'm not sure what I was expecting.

"It's Gavin."

I closed my eyes and turned around. He stepped from a shadowy corner of the room and came towards me. He surprised me but I wasn't afraid. I felt, "hopeful," I thought.

"Let me help you with those," he said as he took the bowl and water from me. "Come," he nodded toward the chaise, "there isn't much time and there's so much I need to say."

It should have terrified me; this stranger appearing from nowhere like a phantom in the night. Puzzled and complacent, though, I followed Gavin. He put the bowl and pitcher on the floor and reached for my hand as I sat down. He took a seat beside me so close that his knee rested against mine.

"Vivienne," he began.

"Oh, that name again! Why do I know it?"

"Because it's your name, or it was once," he spoke quietly, confidently.

I shook my head, "No...my name is Valerie."

"You've forgotten so much," he said as he took my face in his hands and his touch...it was so familiar, so comforting. He gave me a light, feathery kiss that glided down my chin and across my neck. My skin rippled beneath the gentle pressure of his mouth and my arms wrapped themselves around Gavin. All I wanted was for him never to stop...never stop whatever it was he was doing to me.

"No, I am not here for myself," he pulled away and composed himself. "Here," he ran his tongue over his teeth and I felt the pressure of his lips against mine again. This time his kiss was stronger, more urgent...more insistent. It was maddening and I fervently kissed him back. I could taste him; cool and sweet at first then warm and savory.

My mind went blank for a moment and all my senses seemed muffled and dulled. I couldn't hear or see or feel anything clearly. Dim images flashed and flickered. Then it was like the sun coming over the horizon and the world became vivid and bright. "Oh..." I sat up and cried out. I remembered who I was now...and then. For a while I was the shy, little French girl with the awful brothers but then I met Gavin and he encouraged me to be brave and strong. We danced together and we rode together and I was so confident and capable with him by my side. I fell in love with him and he asked me to marry him. So many memories came back to me; not everything though...not quite everything.

"Vivienne," Gavin reached for me and I fell across his shoulder and sobbed against his neck. "I have waited so long to tell you." He trembled against me. "They are lying to you...they have told you so many lies!" He took my chin and turned my gaze on Robert.

Suddenly I remembered how he had hurt me...how Robert had come home and accused me... nearly killed me. "They knew...Deaglan, Niall...they knew what he did and still they let me care for him and love him as though none of it had ever happened! And they left Chris behind with that...with that...monster!"

"Ssh...Vivienne...ssh...there's nothing left of him...Robert will never rise from that bed and he'll never hurt you again!"

My stomach turned in fear imagining the same would be true for Chris. "No...there is a way...if you'll come with me...if you'll come with me I will save him. We can be the family I always wanted us to be."

"Yes...yes," I clutched his shirt in my fists, "take me...take us away from all this...all these lies and all this...death!" My eyes desperately searched his and I realized he was the one I had waited my whole life for and that we needed to be together...always together.

He stood up and helped me to my feet. Gavin kissed my cheek and smiled down at me before he turned to Christopher and eased the covers back. He tugged a blanket from the bed and bundled it around him like a little cocoon then gently scooped him up.

"Take your shoes off and get the door. Follow me; stay as close as you can," Gavin whispered as he led us down the hallway towards the backyard.

I held onto Gavin's shirttails and inched along behind him. When we got to the backdoor, I slipped around him and held it open as he stepped through with Chris. I followed them and pulled the door closed. We hurried across the yard and as we neared the fence that bordered the small enclosure we heard the dogs. Somehow they had gotten loose or perhaps Deaglan had let them out to relieve themselves.

"Take Chris," Gavin thrust him into my arms. He scooped me up and before I realized what had happened, he leapt the three of us up and over the fence. He started running; running faster than I ever imagined possible. Once we were well away, he put us down and though I was breathless and afraid Gavin didn't seem to be taxed at all.

He gave a little laugh, "Sorry about that. I didn't mean to frighten you."

I took a deep breath, relaxed and smiled back as he took Chris from my arms again. "It's alright. I understand," or at least I thought I did.

Gavin held Chris in one arm and offered me his other. We walked in silence for several blocks. After a few minutes Gavin stopped in front of what looked to be an abandoned factory. There was a wire fence surrounding it and when we came to the gate, he laid his hand over the lock and stole a curious glance at me. I heard a faint click and he motioned me to let go of his arm. He removed the padlock and ushered me through. After he secured the gate, he offered me his arm again.

The building looked a little ominous and Gavin sensed my trepidation, "Don't worry; nothing is ever as it seems," he said assuredly.

The ground floor was nothing but earth and dirt and littered with debris from whatever it was they had once manufactured there. I took careful steps as Gavin guided us toward a freight elevator which we used to take us up to the third floor. It was old and shook precariously the entire ride so I clung to Gavin's side until it finally lurched to a stop. He slid the doors open and told me to step out first. He turned to his right and flipped a large circuit switch and it cast our surroundings into light.

It was breathtaking; not at all what I expected from what I had seen of the ground floor and the exterior of the building itself. Brick walls and floor to ceiling windows surrounded us and beneath our feet the wooden floorboards glistened with a brilliant sheen. There were shelves strewn about at random yet artistic intervals. The shelves held an innumerable array of books and photos and carvings; designs it seemed from all over the world. Most of the furniture was quite contemporary and modern in design but there were obvious antiques offsetting them. Everything looked purposefully placed so that the other pieces seemed to frame them in and to draw your eye to their exquisite beauty.

Gavin walked to the far end of the room and laid Chris in a magnificent sleigh bed then pulled the covers up and tucked them all around him. He came back and wrapped his arms around me as he buried his face in my hair. "I never thought I would have a chance to do this again. You're so warm," he whispered. "So alive. Holding you is like...like lying in the sun on a warm summer's day." We stood together for several minutes before he pulled away. "We haven't much time, though. Deaglan will be looking for us; for you."

"Yes. I'm sure of it. We can't leave Gavin, not until Chris is better."

"Do you trust me Vivienne?"

"Of course I do! You're the only person I trust anymore!"

He glanced over his shoulder toward Chris. He took a deep breath, "I'll need your help," he said as he took my hand and drew me towards the bed. "This is the only way, Vivienne. It will be hard to watch but I need you to be brave...be brave and be strong."

He left me for a moment and when he returned he was carrying a sharpened metal spike with a vicious-looking point. He put it in my hand and wrapped my fingers around it. I started shaking my head no but he stopped me with a deliberate kiss.

"It's just precautionary but you mustn't be afraid to use it!" Gavin gathered my left hand and forced my fingers open. He put my flattened palm on his back, "This...this is where my heart is," he said. "It will stop me but it won't kill me," he sounded completely matter-of-fact. "If I do not stop...if I cannot stop that is where you must strike me."

My eyes flooded with tears and I shook my head in horror when I realized what he was suggesting, "I can't, I won't!"

"You must," he took my chin again and made me to look at Christopher. "You must," he said again and before I could react he gnashed his wrist open and held it to Chris' mouth. I watched in terrified disbelief as Gavin bent over his tiny neck and pierced his downy flesh.

"No!" I screamed and dropped the spike. I clawed and yanked at Gavin trying to stop him. "No! No! No!" I cried out.

Gavin felt my feeble attempts to keep him from hurting Chris. He pulled his arm from Chris' mouth and struck me. Then the world and everything in it went black.

## Chapter Twenty

Deaglan heard the dogs and wondering why they were making such a commotion he ran into the backyard just in time to see Gavin leap us over the fence. He only saw us from behind and through the dark so Deaglan wasn't aware that we had Chris, too.

"Valerie!!" he screamed but we were many, many blocks away and his voice never reached me.

Deaglan chased the dogs inside and paused at Robert's room to be sure his fears weren't unfounded. He switched the light on and it only took a single sweeping glance to realize it was worse than he imagined; Robert was still there but the chaise and Christopher's bed were empty.

"Dear God, he has them both!"

Deaglan hurried down the hall to his office and rang Gabriel but he didn't pick up. The minutes ticked by and every one of them meant we could be further and further away. After several tries with no answer Deaglan knew he had to act. He swiped the keys from his desk and raced out the front door. While he ran, he made a mental map of all the places he might find Gabriel and the easiest ways to reach them. As he pulled onto the main road and drove towards the city Deaglan remembered the last conversation we had.

"I was thinking about Robert and about Christopher then suddenly I was home," my voice echoed in his mind and a horrible idea crept into his heart.

The car screeched to a halt and Deaglan did a u-turn to head in the opposite direction. Minutes later he pulled to a stop in front of the church. He took the stairs two at a time and when he reached the front doors he tried the latch while thrusting his weight against them but they wouldn't budge. He cursed and kicked; once, twice before they finally gave way and swung open.

The church was dark except for the light shining through the windows from outside, "Gabriel!" Deaglan cried. Something moved. "Gabriel!" and as his eyes adjusted and he neared the front of the church Deaglan saw him lying on the altar like some kind of sacrifice.

Gavin had brutalized him and there was very little life left in Gabriel. He looked hollow and shrunken as he lay on the giant marble slab. His veins bulged against the loose flesh that hung from his features from head to toe. Gabriel's arms lay spread wide and his feet slung one over the other at the ankles. It looked like Gavin had arranged him to imitate Jesus as he hung from the cross. There were dozens of wounds covering Gabriel and little rivulets of blood trickling from them all as they pooled beneath his wreck of a body.

It took all his strength as he shook with fear and anger but Deaglan managed to gather him up and sling Gabriel over his shoulder. As soon as he had Gabriel safely stowed in the car Deaglan drove him back home. He brought Gabriel to the bedroom I had been using and laid him on top of the covers. Afterwards Deaglan raced to the bathroom where he gathered up his safety razor and tried taking it apart to get at the blade. As he fumbled with the release screw, he heard a scream that froze his heart.

"Robert," he gasped as the blade fell from his fingertips and clattered into the sink.

By the time he reached Robert's room it was too late; Gabriel had already savaged him and Robert's body lay a lifeless mangle of flesh in a heap on the floor.

Gabriel callously wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, "You can call it mercy if you like but I will call it justice!" His eyes challenged Deaglan, "That man had no right to live!"

Deaglan started to speak, thought better of it, then nodded in acceptance and understanding. "Gavin...he has Valerie...and Christopher, too," his voice hoarse with all the pain he felt for everything that had happened.

Gabriel closed his eyes and concentrated. A moment later he opened them then stood in front of Deaglan. Gabriel put his hands one on each side of Deaglan's head, "Get the dogs! Meet me here," Gabriel closed his eyes again and before Deaglan could make any sense of the images Gabriel vanished.

Deaglan stood transfixed and in a daze for a handful of seconds before he realized what Gabriel had shown him and what he needed to do. He whistled to the dogs, "Darcy, Lizzie; come!"

They followed him to the car and climbed up into the backseat while he held the door for them. Deaglan took the wheel and backed out into the street. Though he had seen where he needed to go, the image in his mind had a strange perspective. He had to consider it more than once before he was sure which direction to go.

Once they were on their way, the dogs settled down in the backseat. Several minutes and a few false turns later Deaglan finally arrived at the factory. He parked the car and let the dogs out before approaching the fence. They had to circle halfway around in order for Deaglan to find the gate. It looked as though something or someone had torn it from its hinges and it lay on the ground several feet away.

After they stepped through Deaglan was again puzzled which way to go but the dogs perked up and led him to the freight elevator. They rode it to the second floor and cautiously peered around but found no evidence of me, Gabriel, Gavin or Chris. As they all gathered back in the elevator and it shuddered on route to the next floor, they heard the sound of shattering glass. The dogs growled and keened to get out.

Darcy and Lizzie shot from the elevator as soon as Deaglan slid the doors back. Deaglan chased after them and a moment later stopped short as he took in the scene that greeted him. I was lying on the floor unconscious with Gabriel stooped over me. The dogs were on either side of Gabriel, standing like sentinels with their eyes fixed on Gavin. Gavin was near the bed, swaying back and forth on his feet staring into space with an anguished, remorseful expression.

As Deaglan glanced around he noticed the broken panes of glass and imagined that was how Gabriel had gotten in. Then he turned his gaze back toward Gavin and saw the tiny outline of Christopher's body tucked beneath the covers in the bed directly behind him. Deaglan moved closer to be sure of what he was seeing.

"Christopher?" Deaglan called. "Chris?"

Gavin trembled, his guilt written clearly in his expression.

"Is he...is he..." Deaglan stuttered when he noticed the spike resting between Gavin's feet and carefully considered what might have happened.

Gavin gave a subtle nod.

"No!" Deaglan lunged for him but Gavin sprung away. Deaglan whirled around and faced Gabriel. "You did this! You are just as responsible as he is! How could you let this happen?!"

Gabriel sat there motionless, heartbroken and mute.

Deaglan came back and knelt down beside me. He tried to scoop me up but Gavin knocked him aside. "I won't let you take her from me! Not this time!"

The dogs moved around us defensively and Gabriel rose suddenly awakened to the danger Deaglan and I were in. He flew at Gavin and crushed him against the wall at the opposite end of the room. "Take her, Deaglan! Take Vivienne and get out of here!" Gabriel ordered as Gavin fought against him. Deaglan quickly recovered himself and tried to lift me again but Gavin broke free from Gabriel and launched himself at us.

I started to come to. At first I didn't dare move or open my eyes. I was in so much pain and there was so much violence taking place all around me. Then I heard the fighting shift and grow further away and a few seconds later someone urged me to sitting. I opened my eyes and realized it was Deaglan. Throwing my arms around him I cried out, "Oh, thank goodness, you're here. I'm sorry Deaglan! So, so sorry! Oh God, what have I done?" I moaned suddenly remembering my willingness and determination to be with Gavin.

"Don't think about that now. You mustn't! We have to get out of here," Deaglan offered me his hands and helped me to my feet. I felt a little dizzy and as I looked around Deaglan tugged me towards the elevator.

"No, I can't. Not without Chris!" I stumbled towards the bed.

Deaglan yanked me back, "I'll get him."

I ducked and cowered as something whizzed by me but kept my eyes on Deaglan. He never made it to Chris' side though. Gavin forced the united attack of Gabriel and the dogs back towards us and as he threw blow after blow, he somehow caught Deaglan in the chest with one. It propelled Deaglan several feet away from where Chris lay and he fell onto his back coughing and sputtering as he tried to draw a breath.

I lost sight of him when Gavin drove the dogs and Gabriel in between where I stood and where Deaglan lay trying to recover himself on the floor. I couldn't reach him, but I could reach Chris. As I moved toward the bed, though, I felt a pull on my insides like an invisible force was holding me back. I took several steps but wasn't any closer to Christopher than I was a moment before. I kept trying to reach him but it seemed like whatever held me was tightening its grip. Instead of moving forward it was drawing me back.

I looked over my shoulder and Gavin stared back from where he stood. He had Gabriel by the throat and was lifting him off the ground. My heart lurched with anguish and I felt torn between helping Gabriel and retrieving Chris. I stood there unable to react and looked from one to the other and back again. Then my eyes caught the glint of something shiny on the floor just beneath the edge of the bed.

I dove for it and scrambled to my feet while clutching the spike in both my hands at once. Gavin turned his back to me and it gave me an opportunity to raise the weapon over my head and to poise it for striking. Darcy and Lizzie dropped back and circled Gavin looking and waiting for a chance to spring. The gap they left gave Deaglan enough room to see me and what I intended to do.

Deaglan knew what Gavin was capable of in the frenzied state he was in; he had witnessed it firsthand and screamed for me to stop, "No! Valerie! No!" he cried out.

I ignored his plea though. As I lunged Gavin instinctively reacted and dropping Gabriel pivoted to face me and my attack. Without thought and in less than a millisecond Gavin wrested the spike from my hand and drove it into my abdomen.

The world stopped.

Gavin, Gabriel, Deaglan, Darcy and Lizzie stood frozen in place with their eyes fixed on me as I cried out in agony. Gabriel clawed his way to my side and when I looked into his eyes, I saw it all; the moment we met, the day I fell in love with him, our first kiss, our first...I smiled and reached up to touch his cheek and brush his tears away.

"Don't...don't go!" he begged.

"I love you," I whispered.

"Vivienne...Vivienne," Gabriel gave me a gentle shake. He bent down and I could feel his breath on my lips. He whispered to me, so light, so soft, it was inaudible to anyone else, "Wait for me," he smiled into my eyes and pressed his lips against mine. I tried to smile back.

The others gathered round and watched the heartbreaking display. Gabriel looked up into all their faces. He drew the spike out and smoothed over the gaping hole with his own blood. The worst of the bleeding stopped. The others looked confused and unable to react. There was a terrible expression in Gabriel's eyes, something only one of them had ever seen before. Deaglan knew it; he saw that same expression when Gabriel learned that Vivienne had died all those years ago back in France.

Something was different this time and though Deaglan desperately wanted to stop him, he could feel Gabriel's will as if it were his own. He held Deaglan back with a word, bent over me and with the gentlest of pressure Gabriel pierced my throat. What remained of my life and my will to live ebbed into Gabriel. When he heard my heart beat for the last time he grasped the spike in his hand and stood up. "Leave Deaglan, take the dogs and go."

Entranced, Deaglan mindlessly obeyed. He called to Lizzie and Darcy and started towards the elevator.

"Now," Gabriel eyed Gavin challengingly. As he raised the spike Gabriel beckoned to Gavin.

Grieved and infuriated for what he had mindlessly done to Vivienne and to Christopher, Gavin charged him. Gabriel stood firm and at the last moment instead of driving the spike into Gavin's heart, Gabriel drove it into his own. Deaglan turned just in time to see it happen and helplessly watched as Gavin latched on and the life fled from one into the other. Gabriel was letting go, giving up, dying...dying to be with her...to be with Vivienne, the first and only woman he had ever loved.

Deaglan thought he saw Gabriel smile as the light left his eyes and he fell to the floor a shell of the man he once was. Deaglan dropped to his knees and wailed knowing his friend...his friends; the only two people he had ever loved were dead and would never to stir again.

## Chapter Twenty One

Deaglan had experienced many pains over the years but nothing ever like this. Gabriel and I were...gone...just gone. He forgot everything else and his heart felt like a leaden ball in his chest. When he finally regained his composure and accepted that our lives were over his first thought was to fly out of the broken window and join us.

He almost did but he had forgotten one thing.

Gavin was still there; watching him grieve. He was beside himself for being cheated not only out of defeating Gabriel but out of me as well. There wasn't anything left for Gavin to take his anger out on except...

He grabbed Deaglan from behind and wrapped his arm around his neck as he forced him to his knees. Deaglan didn't know why but he laughed, laughed at the irony. Gavin mistook it for something else.

"You think they've won? Is that it? There is no victory in death! I will show you death...I will make you death and you will see for yourself that they...that you...you have all lost...death is nothing but defeat!"

Darcy and Lizzie were no match for his determination and after culling them with his kicks they cowered in the corner. While they whimpered Gavin did to Deaglan what Claire had done to Gabriel so many years ago. After taking as much as he could from him, Gavin held Deaglan's mouth open and forced him to take it all back. The changes were almost instantaneous as Gavin's blood raced through him. It radiated within him and awakened Deaglan's senses while manipulating each and every cell with a brutal intensity.

He nearly cried out it was so maddening; the assault on his humanity. But suddenly it all stopped; the blood pounding in his ears, racing through his veins and choking his heart and lungs. It was utterly quiet and peaceful and devoid of, "Life..." the word caught in Deaglan's throat.

He stood up and looked around. Then like waves lapping against the shore the outside world came back to him; the scents, the sights, the sounds...the pressure of his feet against the floor, the temperature of the room. As the minutes passed he became more and more conscious of it all. It was terrible to experience. It was overwhelming being so acutely aware of...of everything.

"I never knew," Deaglan whispered imagining Gabriel having gone through something similar when Claire had changed him. He tried to focus his thoughts on his immediate surroundings and to shut out the rest. Deaglan looked around. Gavin had fled but the bodies of myself and Gabriel were still lying on the floor. Christopher lay tucked beneath the covers of the bed and Darcy and Lizzie huddled against a nearby wall. Their eyes were full of fear as they wondered what had become of us all.

Deaglan called to them reassuringly and they inched forward. He held his hands out to them and let them reacquaint themselves with his touch. They were suspicious and wary and didn't seem to like this new version of their master.

"We are still friends," he soothed as he scratched their ears and ran his hands through their fur. Gradually, the dogs relaxed and so did Deaglan.

He was fortunate that he already knew most of what to expect having witnessed and guided Gabriel through the early stages of the experience. Deaglan glanced at his watch and knew there weren't enough hours of darkness left to tend to me and Gabriel and Christopher. He decided he would leave us for the time being. He moved Christopher to the middle of the bed and laid myself and Gabriel on either side of him.

Deaglan kissed each of our foreheads, promised he would come back and after convincing Darcy and Lizzie to follow took the elevator down to the ground floor. He drove back towards the city and during the ride systematically went through everything he would need to do.

"I'll have to deal with Robert. I'll need to rest – I'll go to Gabriel's," he said to himself remembering the room they made to keep him safe during the daytime hours. "Then when I wake...when I wake..." Deaglan grimaced. "I'll need to feed." He took a deep breath and blew it all out.

He remembered the first night after Claire changed Gabriel, how he confessed to killing the cellar master, "without thought, without remorse." Together they came up with a plan to control him, to keep him from killing his...his victims. Gabriel would take what he needed and if he couldn't stop, "I would stop him." Deaglan pictured the spike Gabriel had so recently used, how similar it was to the one...He shook the unwanted images from his mind.

There wasn't anyone Deaglan could trust with such a monumental responsibility. As he considered it he prayed he would have the restraint needed to control himself, at least until he recovered us from Gavin's and laid us to rest.

"Or..." he wondered... "You can call it mercy if you like, but I will call it justice," Gabriel's voice echoed in Deaglan's mind. Then he thought about it and the longer he thought about it, the more convinced he became. "I will find someone like Robert...someone who doesn't deserve to live. If I must be a killer, I will do it discriminately! Then," he asserted, "then I will find the courage and I will end it."

Soon after he made the resolution, he pulled into Gabriel's driveway and felt the first twinges of the torpor that approached with the rising sun. He sensed himself weakening, his breathing and heartbeat slowing, his skin protesting against the daylight as it spread into the city from across the bay. He hurried the dogs inside and locked the door behind them. Alone, he raced down to the lowest level of Gabriel's brownstone.

He quickly found the room and after bolting the door shut, made himself as comfortable as possible before falling into the deathlike languor of his supernatural sleep.

When he woke it was sudden and painful. Deaglan could feel the pull on his insides; the merciless need Gabriel had so often described. He tried filling his mind with other ideas to keep it in check. As he rose he absently rubbed at his arms attempting to ease the tension coursing through his veins.

He made his way upstairs and the dogs gathered to greet him. He let them outdoors and knowing Gabriel's pantry would be empty he decided to take them home before tending to his own needs. Deaglan was dizzy and weak and it took all of his effort to get them inside, fed and watered. It wasn't long before he could no longer stand the pressure building in his head and in his heart.

"How did he do it?" he asked himself as he drifted through the city streets and sifted through the thoughts of the people he passed along the way. Eventually, he found what he was looking for near the docks. Deaglan closed his eyes and braced himself against the idea of what he was about to do. He did it gently and discreetly, then carefully concealed any evidence of what happened.

"I did it for them; for Gabriel and for Vivienne and for her sweet boy," he tried to bolster himself and justify the offense. "I will not think about this. It did not happen," he insisted. "It will not happen again. Once I have taken care of their bodies and put them to rest, I will undo what Gavin has done and join them."

Deaglan went back home and dealt with Robert first. He wrapped his body and flung it in the car before driving to the nearest cemetery. Deaglan found a fresh grave and after digging through the loose earth to the coffin within, unceremoniously chucked Robert's body on top of it. He refilled the hole and patted down.

"Rest in peace," he mumbled unwilling to grant Robert any other prayers.

From there Deaglan went straight to the factory. He closed his eyes and concentrated as he had so often seen Gabriel do when he sought for something he otherwise wouldn't be able to sense. When he felt confident he was alone, he made his way inside and found the three of us just as he left us.

Seeing us brought tears to his eyes and he came and sat down on the bed. Deaglan took my hand in his.

"I'm sorry Vivienne," he ran his thumb back and forth across my fingertips. "I'm sorry I kept so much from you. This is all my fault! If I wasn't so angry with Gabriel that day; if I had been paying attention to my driving rather than arguing with him," Deaglan sobbed. "I never knew why he wanted to move to Boston; he never told me he thought you were here, that he believed you had come back. He must have known, though, he must have known and intended to find you. But when he finally did he got called away on business or maybe...maybe he just couldn't bear facing you, I don't know which. I begged him to take me too, to let me go with him but he insisted I stay. That's what we were arguing about; I was afraid for him. He hadn't been himself and I felt like he needed me in case...just in case. Then there you were; you and your son and his wagon and the pies. I didn't recognize you at first and said some horrible things but Gabriel, he called me back and he made me look...look with his eyes! Oh, there was no mistaking!"

Deaglan kissed my fingertips, "He made me promise to take care of you; that I would do everything in my power to make your life better and to keep you in ours. I couldn't refuse and even if I had he might have encouraged me otherwise." Deaglan gave a sad little laugh as he imagined all the things that Gabriel had likely convinced him to do over the years without Deaglan ever knowing it. "Maybe, I should have had the courage to let him go all those years ago in France when we learned what he was. He could have ended it then or when you died. He was so grief-stricken, so devastated, he would have done it either time if I hadn't begged him not to."

"France," Deaglan sighed. "I wish I could take you there!" Then Deaglan realized that that was exactly what he needed to do. "Gabriel traveled all over the world why shouldn't I be able to?" Deaglan wondered. "You don't have Gabriel's strength of will; his restraint." He told himself. "There is no one here for you the way there was for Gabriel."

Deaglan bit his lip and fought back another series of tears. "I will learn. I will teach myself the control I need to take me...to take us home."

With that Deaglan carefully gathered our bodies and carried them down to the car one by one. When he brought us to the crematorium, no one asked any questions. So many people were dying, so many had already died from the influenza epidemic, they humbly accepted Deaglan's story and performed the requested service without hesitation.

"Are there any personal effects you would like to take before we begin?"

Deaglan started to say no, but saw the band of hair braided around Gabriel's wrist. He eased it off and wrapped it around his own. He asked if they would snip a lock from Gabriel and from Christopher, too, and they deferentially obliged.

When it was over Deaglan brought us to the brownstone and kept us in Gabriel's basement room. We stayed there for several years until he felt he had the strength to carry out his intentions. He took a passenger ship from Boston to the port of Bordeaux then travelled by land to Montagrier.

So much had changed since he was a boy living in the region. He spent many endless nights searching the wilderness that had sprung up around the vineyard before he found the place he was looking for.

"Ah, here we are!" he exclaimed when he finally stumbled upon the little clearing. It had become so overgrown that he needed to cut his way through to reach the boulder.

He closed his eyes and pictured it as it once was; remembered the days he and Gabriel had labored through their lunches or the many evenings they went there after they finished their work at the stables. Together they made it into a garden for Vivienne's birthday. Deaglan smiled as he pictured us there sharing the love we were never able to openly share anywhere else.

The following night he brought us with him as he travelled back to lay us to rest. Deaglan dug a single hole wide and deep enough for the three vases. He removed the lids from the urns and put a few strands of the locks he had so meticulously kept in each along with a few of his own. Then he slipped off the band Gabriel had always worn and tugged a few hairs free to place with Christopher.

He kissed the bracelet, put it in with Gabriel and sealed us all back up before placing the trio of jars in the hole. He made himself comfortable and for the rest of the night Deaglan sat with us; telling us stories of our youth and how much he missed us and hoped that we would find one another again.

When the sun began to rise he breathed a sigh of relief. "This is it...I have done all that I must do and now...now I must finish it," he whispered.

Willfully he sat waiting for the light to smother him and though the pain was excruciating, he clenched the grass and weeds with his fists and closed his eyes.

"The cellars," Deaglan's eyes went wide and he whipped his head this way and that to see where the voice had come from.

It was barely dawn but the light was blinding and he couldn't see more than a few yards in front of him. "It's the pain," he whispered to himself, "it's making me delirious!"

"You're not delirious," the voice held a touch of humor. "Go to the cellars, Deaglan, it's not your time...not yet."

A hazy image appeared before him, "Vivienne?" he asked as someone else stepped from behind her. "Gabriel?"

"Go," he pointed.

Deaglan shook his head, smiled and bolted away. He didn't remember how he had gotten there, but somehow he managed to find the cellars. He crawled into their cool, dark comfort and slept the day away while dreaming of Gabriel and I. We were wandering the earth searching and yearning for one another but never quite able to meet.

"They need my help!" Deaglan exclaimed when he woke, awestruck by the possibility.

## Chapter Twenty Two

London, England 1958

I had the strangest dream one night. There was a young woman sitting on a boulder with a little boy beside her; waiting, waiting for him to come. I saw him wandering through the forest and making his way through the overgrowth. As he walked a tremendous hound darted towards him. At first it terrified me and I believed the dog was about to attack him but then he called out.

"Trista, is that you?" the stranger playfully asked.

The giant hound turned its back on him, sat down and lifted her snout up as if to show her indignation.

The stranger laughed as he approached the dog then laid his hand on her head and ruffled her ears, "I'm sorry, Isolde, you know I was teasing," he said. She stood up and happily nuzzled him back. "Where is she?" He glanced around wondering which way he should go.

Isolde trotted several paces away and glanced back expectantly. The stranger followed and after what seemed a handful of minutes the world grew a little brighter and the foliage a little less dense. Isolde picked up the pace; her lope became a gallop and the stranger strained himself to keep up. Just when he opened his mouth to call Isolde back so he wouldn't lose her, they both burst into the clearing.

The woman had her back towards him and I saw her tense with excitement when she heard him approaching. She slid from her perch and whirled around as he caught her in his arms. Isolde circled them with her tail wagging enthusiastically while the pair savored the moment.

The stranger pulled back first. He took her face in his hands and kissed her. "Have you been waiting long, Vivienne?" He pressed his forehead to hers and somehow I felt them myself, the little trembles running up and down her spine as she wound her arms around his neck.

"Not very, but longer than I liked," she gave him a quick peck.

"Come," she reached for his hand and tugged him toward the boulder, "I want you to meet Christopher."

He seemed a little hesitant at first but Vivienne was insistent and Isolde seemed to encourage him, too. As they drew nearer, the boy hopped down and faced them. He smiled happily as he held his hand out in greeting but there was a sense of sadness in his eyes as well.

"It's very nice to meet you, Gabriel."

The stranger grasped Chris' little hand in both of his, "It's very nice to meet you, Christopher."

They shook and when they let go, Chris anxiously looked over his shoulder. The sky seemed to be growing darker behind him as if nighttime or perhaps a storm drew near. It still seemed bright and inviting ahead of them. I watched as Vivienne took Chris' hand and the three of them along with Isolde started walking away from the darkness and into the beckoning light.

"Wait," Christopher paused and looked up at the woman, "you still have time," he said.

"Time?" she asked. "Time for what?"

He looked at her and he looked at Gabriel, "To decide."

"Decide?" Gabriel seemed puzzled but I thought the woman understood or at least suspected what Chris was saying.

Christopher smiled and looked up at her, "I love you, Momma," he said.

"I love you, too," she bent down and kissed his cheek.

Christopher let go of her hand and continued walking towards the light while Gabriel and the woman looked on.

"What do you think he meant?" Gabriel asked.

She turned and faced him then took both his hands in hers, "I think he was suggesting that we take another chance."

Gabriel still looked confused but suddenly his face lit up, "You mean?!"

She nodded.

"But how...how...?"

She shook her head, "I don't know," she shrugged.

For a long, long moment they both stood there considering the possibility. She seemed to be wondering what fate they would fall into if they decided to take the opportunity. Would she remember him? How would she find him? What if he fell in love with someone else...or...or she did? She seemed horrified by both thoughts.

And there were so many fears reflecting in her eyes. I felt like things had gone very wrong for her before and she was afraid to make a choice that might lead to even more misery.

"Oh, but the chance to love you again!" Gabriel exclaimed. "Imagine the possibilities! We could get married, we could have a family!" He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off her feet and laughed as he spun her round and round.

Isolde danced around them as she picked up on his exuberance. Vivienne still seemed hesitant, though. She wanted to be convinced but her life...her lives had already been so full of disappointments. The darkness encroached and she knew she had to decide.

She looked at Gabriel, she looked towards the light; she imagined so many things there on the other side waiting for her.

"They will still be there when you get back," Gabriel seemed to answer her thoughts. He tucked her under his chin and started inching her away from the light and toward the darkness.

"And what about Gavin?"

Gabriel stopped. He hadn't considered that. He squeezed her tight then somehow found the words that convinced her, "Vivienne, all I have ever wanted was to share my life with you. From the moment we first met until we found ourselves...here," he made a sweeping motion with one of his hands.

"We have overcome so many obstacles and I believe that we are being given an opportunity to fulfill that wish. We must have faith, we have to believe that this is...is a reward for all our sacrifices. Tell me...tell me you want to share your life with me! That it's not just a dream of mine but a dream of yours, too. Tell me that despite it all, you still love me enough to take this first step towards making our dreams come true."

She was speechless. There was only one possible answer. She gazed up grinning from ear to ear and pried herself from Gabriel's embrace. He knew he had won. Gabriel wrapped her hand in his and together they bolted towards the blackness with Isolde close on their heels.

It took me several minutes to realize it was just a dream when I finally woke but it stayed with me for days on end. I couldn't shake the memory of it and I wondered incessantly about the people that were in it; Vivienne, Gabriel, Christopher and the massive hound who was with them all.

It seemed particularly strong in my thoughts one day as I got ready for work. I walked through the rain to the office and peered expectantly under the edge of my umbrella at every face I saw as I hurried by. It was a foolish endeavor, I knew, and I laughed at myself once I arrived and took my seat at my desk.

It was summertime and I was interning at my father's offices acting as his administrative assistant/receptionist. I made all his appointments and kept his calendar, booked his flights and ordered office supplies. He was a bit of a night owl and didn't trust anyone other than me or himself to arrange his schedule.

Just before lunchtime a windblown man about my age and dripping from head to toe stepped into the lobby and came up to my desk. As I watched him approach my stomach did a little flip which I attributed to hunger and tried to ignore.

"I'm here for a 12 o'clock with Mr. O'Donnell."

I raised my brows at him knowing my father's habits and figured he was attempting to bypass the application process by trying to meet with him directly. "My fath..." I corrected myself, "Mr. O'Donnell isn't in right now and..." I glanced down and tapped a few characters on my typewriter, "he doesn't have any appointments today." I said dismissively then looked back up.

"Are you sure?" the man frowned. "He told me to meet him here, I'm supposed to be interviewing for..." he seemed tongue-tied. I began to feel sorry for him and was about to relent and suggest a time for him to come back. He held his hand out to me, "Oh, I'm Geoffrey...Geoffrey Beringer."

The gesture surprised me but I held my hand out anyway, "Nessa," I said, "Nessa O'Donnell."

"Nessa," the man whispered somewhat reverently. "O'Donnell, that means..."

"Yes."

"Forgive me but you don't look anything like your father," he smiled appreciatively.

"I'm adopted."

He looked ashamed for making me confess it, "I'm sorry," he shook his head, "I wasn't...I wasn't thinking."

I enjoyed watching him blush and tried to keep from smiling so I could appreciate it a little longer. I couldn't hold it together though and a moment later I burst out laughing. "It's quite alright," I assured him, "it was never a secret and certainly nothing I've ever been ashamed of."

"Right," he mumbled. There was a long moment of silence as we studied one another across the desk. He had the strangest eyes; I couldn't turn away from them. I tried to decide whether they were blue or green or brown but couldn't because they seemed to reflect all those hues. "Well," he reluctantly stated, "would you, uh, I guess just let him know that I was here. He must have forgotten; it wasn't a formal invitation after all. We met on the train and..."

Just then Deaglan walked into the lobby. He edged his way around Geoffrey and stepped behind my desk as I stood up to say hello. He brushed my cheek with a kiss and asked for his messages without so much as a glance at Geoffrey.

"Da...Mr. O'Donnell," I cleared my throat and motioned towards Geoffrey, "this gentleman is here to see you. He said you asked to meet him here today."

Deaglan raised his eyes and I noticed a mischievous twinkle in them, "Oh, yes, Mr...Mr...Beringer, right?"

"Yes, sir," Geoffrey held his hand out.

Deaglan accepted, "You'll have to forgive me. I completely forgot our appointment and must not have mentioned it Vanessa," he looked down at me. "Unfortunately I am running late for another obligation I made without thinking. I just stopped by to grab a file," he glanced at his watch. "Let me..." he thoughtfully began, "better yet," Deaglan took me by my elbow, "let Vanessa make it up to you by taking you out to lunch."

Now it was my turn to be embarrassed, "Dad!" I grumbled under my breath.

"Oh, no, that's not..." Geoffrey started to object and I had never felt so disappointed in my life. He seemed torn between wanting to accept and regretting his appearance as he swept his dampened hair away from his face and shifted his feet in his soggy shoes.

"Please," Deaglan said as he looked from one of us to the other. We both smiled and nodded. I tucked the dust jacket over my typewriter, grabbed my coat and umbrella and motioned Geoffrey toward the door.

I glanced over my shoulder as we left and I will never forget the smile I saw on my father's face. For the life of me I couldn't imagine what he was so happy about. I gave a little wave goodbye as we took the short flight of stairs to the street. When we reached the sidewalk I started to open my umbrella then thought better of it remembering that Geoffrey didn't have one. I wanted to put us on equal footing so I dropped it in a waste barrel as we walked by.

Geoffrey stopped, turned to me and earnestly said, "That was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me."

I laughed in confusion, "What?" I didn't dare look at him knowing he would see something in my eyes that it would have been impossible to disguise.

He reached for my hand. I felt his fingers twining themselves around mine. I started to cry; not painful sad tears, but joyous, happy tears. He stopped and turned me so I was facing him. I felt his free hand on my chin urging me to look at him. When I did I saw that he was crying, too. He bent down and pressed his forehead against mine, "I know I shouldn't say this," he whispered; my heart was racing, my ears straining to catch every word, "I love you," he breathed, "I love you and I want you to love me. I know you couldn't possibly underst..."

"Oh," I cried interrupting his speech, "but I do! I do love you!" I threw my arms around his neck and when we kissed, it was like...like opening your presents on Christmas morning and finding out that you had gotten every single thing that you wished for and a few extras, too.

"Nessa," he smiled and kissed my forehead.

"Geoffrey," I smiled back.

"Come," he said as he took my hand and led me away. "I need to know everything about you and I can't wait a moment longer to find it all out!"

Neither could I.

## Epilogue

Deaglan Speaks

I remembered the day I found her, Vanessa, living in an orphanage in Italy the daughter of nobody knows who. She was 8 years old and already a great beauty despite the unkempt hair, grubby cheeks and threadbare clothes.

It took all my courage and a generous donation to contrive the adoption. I realized I couldn't be much of a parent to her living as I did but I had resources. I set up a home for us in England and hired a governess to raise her and tutors to teach her. Then I started an advertising business in London and solicited clients from all over the world so I would have an excuse to be away as much as possible.

Sometimes I would spend a few days at home; pretending to leave for work before she woke and coming back at night so we would have a few hours together before bedtime. And the times I was actually away I would call near the end of her day and ask her to tell me everything that had happened and all she had learned.

It wasn't idyllic but it was the best I could do and I made sure she never wanted for anything and that she felt loved every day.

I became so wrapped up in caring for her I nearly forgot who I was and what exactly it was I was supposed to be doing. As the years passed and she grew to adulthood Vanessa reacquainted me with my mission when she asked why I had never gotten married. I laughed and replied, "Because no woman would have me!"

"That's not true and you know it!" she insisted.

"Well, then, my heart just isn't big enough for more than one woman."

Now it was her turn to laugh but afterwards she grew quite serious. "Perhaps it's time for me to leave then, so you can make room in your heart for someone else." Her voice sounded very solemn and sincere.

"Oh," I mumbled realizing there was an expiration date to our relationship and the time was drawing near.

Vanessa reached across the table and she took my hand in hers, "Father," she whispered knowing the heartbreak she had caused me, "I didn't mean it like that. I only meant...I...I feel like it's time for me to try being on my own."

"Yes. I understand," I smiled weakly and while her hand lingered, I saw him; like a flash in my mind...I saw Gabriel. I stood up, "I just remembered I have an appointment early tomorrow," and I quickly forgot how upset I was. I noticed the concern in her eyes, she seemed to think I was avoiding the subject. "I'm sorry," I said and kissed the top of her head before saying goodbye, "I promise we will talk about this as soon as I get back. Give me a day or two to think about it; to consider it without...without distraction."

I went to London that same night and sought for him.

Seeing him, seeing Gabriel brought back a flood of memories. My first impulse was to seize him and hug him and tell him how much I had missed him and how good it was to have him back. Knowing that was an impossibility I took it upon myself to learn everything about him; where he was born, how he lived, whether he had the same strength and integrity I remembered.

Once I satisfied my curiosity I went home and told Vanessa my plans to help her gain her independence. "Come work for me. Move to London and take a position in my office; any one you choose – copywriter, artistic director whatever interests you. I'll get you a flat and from there, well, we'll see what happens."

"No. It wouldn't be right for me to take such a lofty position just because I'm your daughter."

We both lost ourselves in our own thoughts.

"Very well, but you must start somewhere."

"At the bottom," she said and named the most modest position she could think of, "I'll be your intern."

"Receptionist," I countered.

"Intern receptionist."

"Now you're just making things up," I chuckled. She stood up and held out her hand. "Fine," I said, "intern receptionist."

A few short days later we were furnishing her apartment and getting her things put away. Not long afterwards she took her position in the lobby of my offices. I tried to be patient and waited several months for her to be settled and for the perfect opportunity to reintroduce them.

I followed him to the train one night and sat directly across from him. He held a newspaper which he had folded into a small square and there was a pen clenched between his teeth. I watched his eyes scanning a page of apparent advertisements. Whenever he read something that caught his interest he would fetch the pen and make a circle around the short blurb.

"Job hunting?" I asked.

He raised his eyes and smiled, "Yes," he nodded politely and went back to his search.

"May I ask what type of work you are looking for?"

He looked up again and before he said anything he cocked his head at me wonderingly, "Do I know you?" he asked. "I mean...I'm sorry...I hope that wasn't rude but you...you look familiar."

"No, I'm sure we've never met but perhaps you've heard of me. Deaglan...Deaglan O'Donnell, the O'Donnell Agency. We do advertising for..."

He leaned forward anxiously, "Yes, yes! I know it. I knew I knew you!" He extended his hand, "I'm Geoffrey, Geoffrey Beringer."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," I took his hand. He had a portfolio on his lap that he seemed to have forgotten, "Are you an artist?" I asked nodding to the case.

"Wow, uh, yes," he said, "would you like to take a look?"

"By all means," I said and with trembling fingers he handed it to me. I flipped through the pages one by one; carefully studying each.

He sat patiently until I came to the last page then he reached over as if he remembered something he didn't want me to see. I had already turned it over though and the image overwhelmed me.

"Who's this?" I asked and tried to keep the surprise from my voice.

"Oh, it's nothing, no one," he said completely forlorn.

I knew who it was but before I could persist he started speaking again.

"I...I had the strangest dream one night," he looked at his feet. "No, never mind," he stopped himself short.

I raised my brows at him hoping it would encourage Geoffrey to tell me more.

"I just couldn't get her out of my mind, you know? No, you don't... It's ridiculous."

"Perhaps you shouldn't be so...so dismissive," I paused having clearly made him uncomfortable. "Art has a way of imitating life or is it the other way around?" I smiled hoping it would put him more at ease "Well, your work is superb," I said and flipped through the pages once again in emphasis. "Why don't you come by my office tomorrow...say around noontime and I'll see if we can find a place for you?"

"Really?" he beamed.

"Absolutely," I handed him my card.

"Great! I'll see you then. Oh, this is my stop," he stood up. "Thank you...thank you...I can't thank you enough," he took my hand and gave me a heartfelt shake.

I smiled and said goodnight.

I had hope; it was born on the night I laid them to rest and now I had found them, found them both and could bring them back together again. Now I could give them the life they were always meant to have.

Thankfully, it rained that morning and it wasn't too unbearable to be out in the middle of the day. They were both so awkward and unassuming. If I hadn't been there to give them a little push, they might never have taken it upon themselves to seize the opportunity I had given them.

Nothing ever made me happier as I watched the two of them walking together from my office window. Vivienne and Gabriel reunited after nearly a hundred years. I prayed they would never know it; never be aware of what they had been through and would always think of one another as simply Vanessa and Geoffrey.

I wondered how she would tell me; wondered if they would rush headlong into loving one another or if they would take their time and savor it.

I didn't have to wonder long.

Before they got more than a block away, they were in each other's arms.

I turned from them unable to watch such a deeply personal and passionate display. I closed my eyes and sighed while I said an earnest thanks for the role I got to play.

## Fin – The End

I hope you have enjoyed Vivienne: Le Perdu et Retrouve and part 2, Vivienne: The Lost and Found. Any ratings or reviews would be greatly appreciated.

Additional works by S. M. Bowles:

Haeven

After a chance encounter, Emily gets swept into Herrik's strange, preternatural world. Not everyone appreciates having her kind there, though. When she uncovers a plot that threatens to overthrow the delicate harmony that exists there between his kind and hers, Emily must find the one person who can help reclaim Haeven and restore the balance.

Love, betrayal, intrigue and a slew of dynamic characters make Haeven a must-read for anyone who loves the mystical world of vampires.

Sanctity: holiness of life and character

Michael hugged me to his chest. When he let me go, he made his way around the bed and rummaged in one of the nightstands. Afterwards he came back and stood directly in front of me. He had a small, red pocket knife and unfolded the blade. He took my hand in his and curled all but my index finger into a fist. I looked into his eyes trustingly. He appeared very solemn as he made a slight incision on the very tip of my finger. I sucked in my breath and tried not to flinch. A tiny streak of blood appeared and as Michael gave my finger a gentle squeeze, it grew into a little round bubble.

He closed his eyes and brought my finger to his lips. My heart fluttered and I sensed a subtle pull on my insides, like my soul was reaching out to him. He sighed as he lowered my finger and folded my arm to my chest.

"There," he said, "now you will be a part of me forever."

