 
## Queen of Hearts

Copyright 2014 L.D. Raye

Published by L.D. Raye at Smashwords

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite eBook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner.

One : Danielle Heart

Two : Deklyne Heart

Three : Terri Heart

Four : Neila Heart

Five : Terri

Six : Neila

Seven : Neila

Eight : Dani

Nine : Deklyne

Ten : Neila

Eleven : Neila

Twelve : Deklyne

Thirteen : Dani

Fourteen : Terri

Fifteen : Dani

Sixteen : Terri

Seventeen : Dani

Eighteen : Terri

Nineteen : Deklyne

Twenty : Neila

Twenty-One : Dani

Twenty-Two : Neila

Twenty-Three : Deklyne

Twenty-Four : Terri

Twenty-Five : Dani

Twenty-Six : Deklyne

Twenty-Seven : Neila

Twenty-Eight : Dani

Twenty-Nine : Terri

Thirty : Neila

Thirty-One : Dani

Thirty-Two : Gordon

Thirty-Three : Terri

Thirty-Four : Deklyne

Thirty-Five : Gordon

Thirty-Six : Neila

Thirty-Seven : Gordon

Thirty-Eight : Deklyne

Thirty-Nine : Neila

Forty : Dani

Forty-One : Gordon

Forty-Two : Neila

Forty-Three : Deklyne

Forty-Four : Dani

Forty-Five : Neila

Forty-Six : Terri

Forty-Seven : Neila

Forty-Eight : Gordon

Forty-Nine : Dani

Fifty : Terri

Fifty-One : Neila

Fifty-Two : Terri

Fifty-Three : Gordon

Fifty-Four : Neila

Fifty-Five : Dani

Fifty-Six : Deklyne

Fifty-Seven : Terri

Fifty-Eight : Dani

Fifty-Nine : Gordon

Sixty : Neila

Sixty-One : Neila

Sixty-Two : Dani

Sixty-Three : Deklyne

Sixty-Four : Dani

Sixty-Five : Dani

Sixty-Six : Neila

Sixty-Seven : Gordon

Sixty-Eight : Terri

Sixty-Nine : Neila

Seventy : Deklyne

Seventy-One : Dani

About L.D. Raye

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_"His sole purpose is to please me, be it with his time, his finances, or his dick. I'll make him beg for more and demand he prove his worth. I accept no excuses, and the punishment for disobedience is always severe."_

—Danielle Heart

Years had passed and I could still hear that scornful woman's laugh and still see those savage eyes that unfortunately use to affect me to my very core. Nurturer my ass, that woman thought she was some ingenious master. Instead of her being a mother she was an intolerant instructor who thought she had the key to showing a woman how to be successful.

Truth of it all, she was as low as they came, and there was no way she could take credit for the things I'd accomplished in my life. Sure she pushed the game on me, but I made it my own. Everything up to this point was surely nothing to cry about, but there's no running from who she was or wasn't rather. Some woman just knew how to be a mother, some were smart enough not to keep a child only to mess up its life, and some were like her who had no clue how to even be a decent human being.

If that woman could see me today however, she'd probably still have something to say about the way I conducted my business. She'd find the smallest thing to complain about regardless of my game being more on point than hers could have ever been. It wouldn't have mattered to her that I wanted for nothing: bills paid, new cars, clothes, good dick, and most important—a man's obedience and the desperation to do my every bidding. I'm sure she would just kill over in jealousy if she had the chance to witness me in action, but thinking about her was really a waste of my time.

I was at a point in my life where I could just bask in the glory of all my hard work. I couldn't help but laugh as I thought about how well played my life had been. No need in lying as if it had been peachy keen, but damn if I hadn't pulled it all together from nothing. It took years to learn how to play this thing called life, but I'd finally won. I'd eventually figured out a way to put everything and everyone in the place I deemed just for them, and one of my most rewarding victories was standing right here in the room with me.

Just looking at him put me on a natural high. Knowing the power that I possess over these schlemiels was almost like a drug, especially when he considered himself to be my equal. For example, this particular one, Tavaris. Honestly I can admit it was my fault for helping him get that way, but that was well before I woke the hell up. His one-eighty turn around was for the records though, and I be damn if he ever forgot who gave him those lessons.

Watching him put away the newly cleaned dishes I'd just eaten off of was clear evidence that he wouldn't forget, and it made me chuckle to remember how his knack for domestic tending became so immaculate. I did have to cringe though because the thought of actually missing him around my house popped into my head.

"How long are you going to play this game?" he asked me as I now watched our girl playing in his backyard.

I slowly turned to him, a slight grin still teasing my lips. "I'm not playing any games, sweetheart."

He watched me with contempt in his eyes, and only for the moment was I biting back the warning sitting on my tongue. "Our daughter is six years old, and she's seen her mother maybe four out of those," he fussed. "And the visits haven't even been consistent!"

My eye twitched a little at his volume, but I showed him the same smile I knew he loved to hate. "You really shouldn't yell. You know how things go when I have to put you in your place."

The look on his face was priceless, but he was lucky his warning was so light. For the New Year, I'd made a promise to myself not to overreact and let a nigga have it before I thought about my actions.

"Dani, I'm trying to be patient with you, but it's taking you entirely too long to figure out what a mother is."

I couldn't help but shake my head at him. There was no way he could expect me to believe in his heart of hearts he cared about anyone but himself. Since I could remember, even when he felt he was doing something out of " _love_ " it was only to benefit the love he had for himself. Still, I chose to be lenient with him for the time being.

"She has Macy playing step-mom, does it really matter what the hell I do?" I posed the question to him with all the honesty in the world.

He clearly thought I was an unfit mother, and I knew his love wasn't worth the shit it flew in on. Who better to take care of the girl than a female willing to raise another man's child just for his affections?

"Yes it matters!" he practically screamed. "Stop being such a waste of breath and get a clue!"

I let out a light laugh and shook my head. Tavaris could really be cute when he got in his feelings, but he knew he was never allowed to speak to me like that. "Don't forget who you're talking to, sweetheart," I drawled as I stepped closer to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Dani's bite will always be worse than _your_ bark, and this will be your last warning."

He pulled my arms away from him and backed up. I watched him for a few seconds as he appeared to be gathering his thoughts, just as I'd taught him to do when he was getting out of hand.

"Alexis is getting too old for this," he said with his voice level once again. "You can't pop up only when you see fit."

"Like I said when I first got here," I began in a confident tone, "I'm here to check on things. Now go bring her inside." I walked back to his sliding door and smiled at the gorgeous little girl.

He hesitated for a few seconds before I finally heard him speak again. "No, Dani. You're not seeing her today or any other day until you actually decide you're going to be the mother she deserves. You're not going to only come around when it's convenient for you or you're bored or whatever the case may be. She deserves better."

My neck twitched at this nigga's gall, which had now clipped all patience I was attempting to show him. "What have I told you about making demands?" He frowned at my question, but he knew I was dead ass serious. "That's my girl. I can see her whenever I want."

"Dani, I'm her father," he said in a tone that resembled authority. I could only smirk. "I'll protect her every time she needs it."

I finally laughed at him and stared him down. "And just what the hell do you think you're protecting her from?"

"Leave, Dani." His tone was firm and full of emotions, but I didn't care. I rolled my eyes and opened the glass door myself. He charged towards me, grabbing my arm and harshly whispering in my ear, "Dani."

I threw him an angry glare, not at all appreciating the tight grip he had on my arm. When I tried to snatch away though he only held tighter. I wasn't about to let that get in the way of my plans, however.

"Hey girl!" I called out to her. "Come give me a hug!" The little frame quickly whipped around in our direction, causing Tavaris to release me and let out a heavy sigh.

"Mommy!" In seconds, she was sprinting over to us like Flo Jo. I just knew she was going to be the star of the track team, just like the Heart she popped out of. "Mommy, I missed you," she said, squeezing as much life out of me as she could.

"I missed you, sweetheart." I returned the enthusiasm and danced around with her a bit. I always felt some type of high whenever she was around and was so happy to see me. I held one of her hands up as I twirled her around. "Look at you."

"I'm getting big, huh? That's what Macy says. She had to buy me a whole bunch of new outfits. But I still wear the ones you bought me. Macy and Daddy say I'm too big for them now, but I'm not. Macy says they fit me how your clothes fit you." The girl was talking a mile a minute, so I'm sure she didn't notice the glare I gave Tavaris. "So that's a good thing, right Mommy? I look like you."

I laughed at her excitement. It was still funny to me, regardless of the shit that bitch was telling her. "That's definitely a good thing," I finally told her. "I'm always looking sexy as hell, and you have to start early to get these niggas to fall at your feet for the puss—"

"Dani!" Tavaris boomed loud enough for the neighbors to hear. "Do not tell her things like that." The scowl on his face was so intense you would have thought I was telling the girl the worst thing you could imagine.

I ignored him, nonetheless, and ushered the bouncy girl completely into the kitchen. "You ready to take a ride, sweetheart?" I asked her as we made our way into the living room.

"Really? You're taking me somewhere?" The elation radiated all over her face, and it was hard for me to hold back another laugh.

"Dani, no." Tavaris pulled me back with fear covering his face. I didn't know where he picked up this knack for working my nerve, but he needed to step back in his place. "She's not going anywhere with you."

"Daddy, please?" the girl whined, and I almost popped her for it. I couldn't figure out who to be more irritated with at that moment: the girl for begging a man or Tavaris for thinking he could control anything.

"First you want me to spend time with her, now you don't. Make up your mind, sweetheart," I told him in slight amusement.

"Macy always takes me out, Daddy. Can't I go with Mommy?"

"Yeah, if Macy can take her out, there should be no reason why I can't."

"Alexis go to your room, baby." Both his voice and face showed remorse as he spoke.

"Daddy, why?"

"Lexi, I mean it. Go to your room. I need to talk to your mama." His eyes and tone were still soft, but he got the result he wanted.

"Just who the fuck do you think you are?" I asked him the second the girl stepped one foot away from me.

Tavaris eyed me in anger as the feet scurrying up the steps grew farther and farther. "You don't understand anything, do you?" he fumed before dragging me back into the kitchen. "Do not talk like that when she's in ear shot," he fussed after slinging me around to face him.

The second he released me, I slapped the taste out of his mouth. For a good few seconds, he didn't move, and I was glad because I wanted that shit to sit with him. "Don't you ever put your hands on me like that. Don't jump stupid just because I give you some room."

His eyes held so much anger, but he knew well enough to keep all of it to himself. He even knew to keep his tone in check when he spoke again. "I just didn't want you talking like that in front of Lexi."

"What, you're afraid the girl is going to start talking like me too? It's bad enough you don't want her to dress like me."

"You really make me sick to my stomach," he spat.

I just smiled at him, loving the deep emotions I could cause him with just my presence. I learned a long time ago a man couldn't feel this strongly about his " _hate_ " for you unless he was bewitched by that love bullshit I'd always been taught to avoid. He was making it all too clear that he still wanted me, and I had every intention of making him pay to be with me again.

"You need to tell that little bitch of yours not to talk about me to my girl."

"Watch your mouth, Dani. You don't get to come in this house and talk about the woman doing the job you're too pitiful to do."

"Excuse me?" One of my brows lifted, and I was two seconds away from laying his ass out right in his own kitchen.

The reasons for the girl staying here was obvious to everyone, but unlike my mother I was smart enough to do what was best for the girl. My motives as well as the bitch he was laying up with were clear, and he wasn't only about to put this on me.

"You give kudos to the woman raising your child just so she can suck your dick? Tavaris you really have lost your mind since the last time we spoke."

"That was damn near a year ago, Dani! I finally grew the hell up!" He let out another one of his annoying sighs and shook his head. "Everything does not revolve around you anymore."

"That's where you're wrong, sweetheart. Things will always be about me." I walked backwards to the doorway. "Now, I'm going to take the girl, and we're going to have a nice little day together."

"You are not taking her anywhere! After all this time—one day out of the year—without any warning, you think you're about to go have mother-daughter day?" he blew up. "Get the fuck out of my house, Dani."

"Tavaris, really? You really think I'm someone you want to fight with? We both know, I always get what I want," I said while laughing at him.

"Just leave!"

"Not until I—" Before I could finish, my phone went off, and I couldn't help but smirk at the message displayed across my screen. Handling this little situation was still on my to do list, but the Gracien Mills Assisted Living Facility could never wait—not when I had so much to share. "On second thought, I'll be back around," I paused and looked upward, tilting my head from left to right a few times. I was trying to come up with a pleasing time and finally said, "whenever I can. You just make sure the girl is ready to go when I get here."

"You're pathetic, Dani. You're twenty-eight years old. When are you going to stop chasing dick?" He let out an unnecessary huff and shook his head. "God, you disgust me."

I laughed at him and bid him adieu. I disgusted him? It wasn't very long ago he wanted me never to forget that " _he made me_ ," and now I disgusted him. I couldn't even keep count of all the times he's begged me—pleaded with me to come to his bed, yet now I disgust him because it's not his dick I'm on anymore? Weak niggas never learn. He could only fool himself for so long. His whole charade was ridiculous, and it wouldn't be long before everything came crumbling down around him. I was going to make sure of that.

_"I know how to get what I want, and he'll either give it to me or I'll just take it. I'll never be anyone's princess because there is no such thing. Life is nothing but an inconvenient bitch, so I make sure to snatch whatever the hell I can from it."_

—Deklyne Heart

My head pounded as I sat there trying to figure out how I was going to get out of this situation with my sanity still intact. I knew it was my own damn fault, but I didn't know this idiot would take things so far. Maurice had always been one of those emotional bastards, but this was a whole new level even for him. Once upon a time there actually were days where I couldn't wait to be with him, but now dealing with him was becoming like more of a job. I had to talk about this, pretend to understand that, shed a few BS tears over something else all so he could feel I cared about some random point he thought was so important. I never really gave a damn about any of it, and it would have probably made my life that much easier if I could finally just tell him that. Each day that passed felt like I was reaching that point though.

I heard movement upstairs, and I got a knot in the pit of my stomach as I looked at the ceiling. I knew there was about to be a round two, and I just did not have the patience for his bull today. I really couldn't even explain how things got to this point. I knew the guy wanted something more from me for the longest time, but it wasn't that hard to reject his advances. One bad night with an ex was all it took though, and then the sex hooked me. Had I been thinking, I would have forgotten about him long ago. Somehow though he just had a way of always wearing me down. Ever since we were kids, he'd always been a little clingy pest. Unfortunately for me, I never got rid of him even then. He always seemed to serve some purpose, but now he was just a waste.

I took another bite of the bland cheesecake before tossing the half-eaten slice back on the table. "Damn, that girl can't do nothing right," I huffed with the food still stuffed in my mouth.

It was like no one in my life could be counted on to do their damn job. All Maurice had to do was fuck me; all Neila had to do was feed me. Worthless idiots.

"Neila, this cheesecake is awful!" I yelled to her, and she popped her head back into the kitchen smiling.

"Well, it was purchased from the store," she threw me a lame excuse. She never could take criticism, not _Miss Perfect_. "It would really behoove you to learn how to do more than complain," she said while nudging my head then going to pour coffee into her mug.

I just rolled my eyes and picked over the food a little. "Are you still giving me a ride to the show?"

"How many times do I have to tell you and Terri? I am neither her personal chauffeur nor yours."

I huffed and turned my attention away from her. I wasn't in the mood for one of her lectures. "A simple yes or no will do, Neila." And just what the hell was she thinking comparing me to that? Terri may have been a lazy bitch, but I knew how to depend solely on myself. "You're acting like I can't ask my sister for a favor," which apparently I couldn't. "At least I have a job and a car."

"Then why don't you use it?"

"Why waste my money on gas when I can get rides?" I told her with a shrug, wishing she would just leave already. She'd already said no, there was nothing else to talk about.

"You're terrible." She jogged back over to me and planted a peck on my cheek. I cringed inwardly, but I just smiled at her so she wouldn't bitch. "I'll see you once I get home tonight, love. Don't forget to pick up Terri."

"Oh wow." I let out a laugh to hide my anger. "I can't get a ride, but you volunteer me to give her a ride. Why?"

"Deklyne, like you've already said, she doesn't have a car. Also as you mentioned before, shouldn't sisters do favors for each other?"

"Yeah, when I'm the sister doing the favor," I said with so much sarcasm.

"I do favors for you all the time," she tried to defend her selfishness. "The reason being because you are my sister. Terri is your sister, so—"

"Half-sister," I made the correction. It irritated me to no end when people didn't bother to understand that we weren't real sisters. Hell, the only reason I claim Neila as much as I do is because she looks amazing regardless.

"Deklyne, stop it. We're all sisters thanks to our mother and her licentious antics with our pitiful fathers." She gave her own eye roll, and I laughed because I knew what the eye roll was about. She hated to even make mention of a man's existence because she held nothing but hatred for the entire gender. "God, they're so useless."

I laughed again at her stupid dramatics, which were all because she couldn't get a man. "Men aren't all that bad, Neila. You should really think about getting one. I mean seriously, you've been backed up for going on how long now?" I teased her, and she shot me another look that I laughed at harder.

"There is undoubtedly no one else like you, Deklyne." She grabbed her briefcase from the kitchen island and rushed to the door on her way to work.

I actually adored that about her. She was always focused on what was next in her life—career wise at least. I, on the other hand, thought it was better for people to just live in the moment. Fuck tomorrow.

I threw away the rest of my cheesecake and made my way to my room. Amazingly, I'd forgotten all about the body that was laying up there until I saw him sitting on the edge of the bed rubbing his temples. I took a moment to take in his naked body as nothing but the sheets were draped across his muscular legs. I loved the way his muscles always bulged beneath his shirt, and seeing them in their glory always made me horny. I was just about to invite him to another round of sex until he looked over to me and sighed.

"Dek, what are we?" he asked me as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders.

I giggled a little. Hearing guys use that line always did that to me. Usually it was the pathetic females asking the guys that line in question to their supposed relationship, and here he was spitting that shit out of his mouth to me. For all I cared he could stew in his uncertainty.

"What do you mean, baby?" I cooed, slyly dismissing him. "We're human beings. Duh." I slid behind him, wrapping my arms around him and kissing his neck.

"I'm serious. I didn't come over here last night to have sex with you."

I kept myself from frowning, remembering the event that led up to us naked between the sheets. "Who cares?" I whispered, hoping we weren't about to travel down that long, tired road again. I never liked having makeup sex back-to-back. "We're both glad you did, so let's not worry about anything else."

"Deklyne, stop it!" He threw my arms away from him and stood up, but I didn't say anything to him as he began to get dressed.

I hated when he got so mad at me for some dumb reason. "What did I do now, Maurice?" I huffed, folding my arms across my chest.

"Were you even paying attention last night?"

"Honestly, I just heard a bunch of bull, so no," I told him, making sure to put nothing but annoyance in my voice.

I really didn't feel like hearing him cry about the same garbage over and over. Regardless that this was the same argument I cut short last night, this idiot wanted to bitch about the pointless situation again.

"Come on! I'm so tired of this!" He knocked a few pictures frames off my dresser before pacing back and forth.

"Can you calm down, please? That was not even necessary." I got up to clean up after him, and he finally stilled himself to watch me.

"You can't be this heartless. This won't only affect you, and you know it."

I shook my head, feeling nothing but disgust for the way he was acting. "It's not your decision to make. That's all there is to it. Deal with it, and stop fucking crying about it."

"Deklyne, look at me." I continued fixing things as I heard him moving towards me. "Baby, just look at me." He finally held me in front of him, his eyes pleading with me. I still felt nothing for him, though. "You can't have this abortion."

I laughed at him because I couldn't understand his passion for this issue. "Why are you so concerned? We both know that you might not even be the father." He pushed me away from him, and his eyes looked cold. "What? I can't be honest now? You think just because I have this baby and it's yours things are supposed to get better between us?"

He held his tongue for a while, and I let him stew in his thoughts until he was ready to speak. "I know there's a possibility the baby isn't mine," he started slowly and in a low tone, "but if that is my baby, I don't want you to have an abortion."

I tapped my head, gesturing that he needed to use his brain if he actually had one. "Hello! Regardless of who the father is, I don't want this baby. What I want is the only thing that matters because I'm the one that's going to have to deal with everything. That's how it always goes, and you know that. Do you want full custody?"

"We . . . We could work something out, Deklyne," he told me lowly, without all the bravado he'd been using up to this point mind you.

"Yeah. Work something out where I'm saddled with the rug rat ninety percent of the time, right? I have things I want to do with my life just like you, so why would you expect me to carry this load just because you say you're willing to _help_ , whatever that'll be worth."

"It's clearly more than what you're willing to give," he snapped sourly.

"Yet you still think it's a great idea for me to take the lion's share of the responsibilities? That'll be the expectation no matter which of you is the father." I shook my head after hearing myself and realizing we were starting yet again. "And you're an absolute idiot to stand here worrying about a baby that more than likely is not yours."

"Stop saying that!" He started charging towards me, only stopping once I backed up. "You don't need to get an abortion."

"Do not tell me what I need to do," I fussed. "One more time for the retards, who's going to take care of that little sucker when it gets here?"

"I'm right here! Can't you see that?"

I rolled my eyes at how pathetic he was acting. "Maurice, we always use a condom!" I yelled and recited to him at the same time. "Me and Cris, not so much."

Again, he took a second to watch me. I could see his anger only moments away from consuming him, but I didn't regret anything that I was saying to him. "Dek, I know we're not exclusive, okay. I know this, but we have—" he cut himself off the second that word slipped out. " _You_ ," he corrected himself, "have a baby on the way. Don't you think you should find someone that's going to be there for the both of you? I can be—"

"No," I rudely cut him off this time. "No, Maurice. I don't think we should start trying to play happy family."

"I'm offering to be there for you and a baby who you clearly want me to know I'm not the father of, and still all you want is to get an abortion!"

"Yes! That's what I want, and that's what I'm doing. I don't want this baby!" I screamed at him, and I could feel a headache about to come on.

"That's selfish! It's stupid and disgusting. I might be the father, and you won't even consider how I feel about losing my first child."

"My sister and mother both popped babies out like dumb bitches and had them floating wherever the hell would keep the kiddies out of their way. I'm not doing that to my kids. When and _if_ I have them, they're going to stay with me. I'm going to be a mother, and I'll raise my own kids and at the very least pretend I care. Again, that's when I have a child."

"You're having one now."

"No," I spoke to him as if he were a special needs kids. "I'm getting rid of it. Case closed." I finally turned away from him and started messing with my nails. This was a dead issue to me, and he was only making himself look like a desperate idiot.

"Deklyn—"

"What part of _'_ _case_ _closed_ _'_ don't you understand?"

I snapped back to face him, and I was furious that he still wouldn't shut up about this. I'd already made up my mind. I told him I'd made up my mind, and there was no changing it. A baby would completely fuck up my life. I didn't want to have some whiny brat constantly getting in my way and wanting attention from me. I had a short attention span. I know I wouldn't care enough about a child to take care of it the way you're supposed to, so why the fuck would I keep this thing growing in me?

I'm not that heartless. That's the worst thing you could do, bring a child into the world who you have no intentions of caring for. Only a heartless, revolting, waste of breath bitch would do that. Only she would do that, and I'm not her.

"You know you don't have to do this. I'm willing to be there for you, not only because this could be my child but because I'll still love you even if I'm not the father."

"Love me?" I was so pissed by him saying that, I couldn't even laugh at his weak ass. He knew I hated when he said that. "Okay, Maurice. You've been talking for long enough. Just stop."

He always found a way to make himself look pathetic, and it was just sickening. If he wasn't acting pathetic, he was trying to play mind games with me. Everything about him was just starting to become too fucking typical.

"Why are you so cold every time I tell you how I feel about you?"

"Because I don't care!" I screamed and waved my hands dramatically so hopefully he'd understand. That was the one thing I wished he would get through his head. "The quicker you learn that, the better off we'll both be. And this whole love notion, cut that out," I said, finally able to let out a laugh.

"Yeah, I love you, Deklyne—despite you being a complete bitch."

"Oh wow, I'm a bitch," I said, carelessly. "I don't care what you think of me." I gave him full eye contact to let him know how serious I was.

"You don't care what I think, period."

"Bingo! You've finally caught on. You know, usually when we fight, I just want to fuck you to shut you up. Now since we keep having the same argument, I'm just ready for you to get out."

"You . . . " he chuckled and wagged his finger at me. "You really are stupid. You're going to push away the one person willing to love your ass."

"Not really." I placed my hand on my hip. "Cris is always telling me that same bull about loving me." I purposely threw that information in his face, and I almost choked when I said that word. "And he doesn't want me to get rid of this baby either because he's so sure it's his. The both of you really make me sick sometimes."

In a split second one of my glass figurines was smashed on the wall because he'd decided to intensify his tantrum. "Fuck you!" He stalked over to me, and I flattened myself against my dresser. "You ain't shit, you know that? And part of me wishes to God I could just forget about you, but the other part can't help but feel sympathy and pity for you because I know why you're so uncaring. All that shit you're trying to run from, all that shit you're—"

"Maurice, just shut the hell up," I fussed at him, and if I was a man, I would have knocked him out for this.

"You've never been able to get past what she—"

"Blah, blah, blah. Another one of your speeches? Really, Maurice? You're just mad because I like spending more time with Cris."

I'm sure he heard the spite in my voice because his eyes hardened again, and he took a few seconds before he spoke. "Deklyne, you better realize what you have before it's too late."

With that, he grabbed the rest of his things and made his way out of my room. I let out a breath of relief only after hearing the front door close. He really had to get himself together if he wanted to stay on my team.

_"I try to hide myself to minimize to the damage. I know what it means to be an idiot and be used. I've yet to learn my lesson, always falling into the same trap. The world continuously spirals forward, and I continuously fall even further in the opposite direction."_

—Terri Heart

I sat outside two hours after I told Neila I would be ready. I knew she had to work, but I was hoping she'd convince Deklyne to come pick me up. God knows it's a constant battle for me not to hate my sister, but she could be the devil in disguise when she wanted to. It really bothered me that it was so hard for so many people to see, but she was just too manipulative.

I dialed her number again, and just like the other times, it went right to voice mail. I didn't even bother leaving a message this time. I knew she wouldn't respond, probably wouldn't even listen to it.

I looked around the full lot and the socially active campus, praying I would see one of my classmates. I knew it would be a task to get someone to agree to take me home, but I had no other choice. Finally after walking up and down for about thirty minutes, I spotted Kevin. He was talking to his usual group of associates, and that alone made me second guess the idea to go up to say one word to him.

I licked my lips and checked the time. I knew I had to get home to start dinner or Neila would throw a fit. I cursed Deklyne once more before I started my first attempt to go up to him. I only got as far as two steps before my nerves kicked in then I was spinning and walking in the other direction. Then again, I stopped after two steps. I closed my eyes to say a quick prayer, then I headed back over to him.

The closer I got to him the harder my heart pounded and the weaker my legs felt. I felt my breath catching in my throat, and I wanted to kick myself for allowing my body to react this way because of him. Just a mere five steps away, my head felt like it was about to explode, and all I could do was pray that I didn't throw up the second I opened my mouth to speak.

For at least a minute, I stood facing his back as he laughed with his friends. I noticed the watchful eye of his friend, Brentin, but neither of us said a word. Anytime I was around, he'd always just watch me with a slight frown on his face.

Still trying to find the nerve to announce myself, I wasn't paying attention to Kevin while he imitated some football player making a catch. He stumbled into me and knocked me on the ground causing his friends to laugh even harder.

"Damn, Terri. Why the hell didn't you tell me you were behind me? My bad." He gently lifted me off the ground and told his friends to be quiet.

"Man, she was standing behind you for the longest. That's what her mute ass gets." Brentin pushed the one who said that, but he didn't say anything himself.

I couldn't help but take a second look at Brentin as he kept his thoughts to himself. I'd never heard him speak, but I'd never seen people pick at him the way they pick at me for not talking. I figured it had to do with the confidence people saw in him. He made it look so easy.

"Can I talk to you, please?" I finally whispered to Kevin after pulling his six foot frame closer to my five foot four inched frame.

"What?" he asked, straightening himself back up. I didn't say anything to him; I just looked back to the emptying parking lot. I heard him suck his teeth, and he wrapped an arm around my waist. "I'll talk to y'all later, man."

I heard the annoyance in his voice, and I wanted to tell him to just forget it, but he was already pulling me towards his truck. I didn't say anything for the entire walk, scared that he'd start yelling like he always did when I made him angry. As soon as we were sitting in his truck, he finally looked over to me.

"What do you want, Terri?" The annoyance was still evident in his voice, and I heard him drumming the steering wheel with his fingers.

I didn't want to look at him because I didn't want to see the anger in his eyes. He always knew how to make me feel so low with just a look, so I chose to keep my head down as I spoke. "I just need a ride home."

"You made me bring your ass all the way to my car just to tell me that shit? Why you just ain't say that when we were up there?"

"I just . . . I didn't—"

"Man, just shut up. You need to learn how to open your damn mouth," he said, starting his engine. "I told you about that. Don't be scared to talk to me in the public. That shit is embarrassing always having to drag you to a corner just to find out what you want. Acting like you're some little ass kid."

"I'm sorry, Kevin," I whispered, feeling even more like garbage than he probably imagined. What was funny though is that he never had a problem dragging me to his favorite hidey-hole even when I did say something. Those were usually the times he didn't care about what I had to say.

It was quiet for a few minutes as we both just watched the road in front of us. After a little while longer, I felt his hand rubbing the back of mine. At first I didn't really know how to react then I heard him chuckle.

"I'm sorry, Terri. I shouldn't have went off like that. You're my girl, and you know I'm down for you. I just don't like that."

"I know," I whispered.

I felt him shooting me looks, but I still didn't look back at him. Moments later we were pulling into my driveway, and the second I placed my hand on the door, he stopped me.

"I didn't have to take you home, you know that right?"

I gave a slight nod but kept my eyes off of him. "I know." I felt the air around us change, and I knew if I looked at him, I would see that familiar grin on his face. "Than—thank you for taking me home."

"That's all I get, a _thank you_?"

I finally looked at him, a frown in place of his grin. I looked back towards the empty house and again cursed Deklyne for not being where she was needed. I felt him turning my face back to him. I knew where this was going, and I knew what would happen if I tried to stop it. Shutting down my senses, I just leaned in to give him what I thought he would settle for. I even put tongue into our kiss hoping to satisfy him, but I found myself enjoying it more than I should have. I pulled back nervously, attempting to calm myself down.

"What, that's it? I didn't just walk you to class or your car. It cost me time and money to do this, girl."

I gave him another light nod, and before much time had passed, we were both half-naked and standing in the middle of my room. I held my eyes closed as I felt his lips leaving traces from my neck to my chest. I tried not to welcome his touch, but I couldn't deny the fact that I loved the feeling he always gave me when we were together. It was just something in the way he touched me.

I started rubbing on his arms and working my way lower to his pants. He pulled my hands away though and moved me against the wall. A soft moan escaped my lips once I felt his hands massage my body, and my stomach fluttered when I felt his warm breath on my ear.

"You know why I like you?" he gruffly asked while kissing my neck and squeezing my behind. "You always know how to show a man your appreciation." He gave my bottom lip a small nibble before kissing me lustfully. "Bitches now days act so stuck up."

He went back to kissing my neck, and I tried to ignore what came from his mouth because I just wanted to concentrate on the feeling. I wanted to at least pretend this was something pleasurable.

"I love fucking with you, girl." He pressed himself up against me fully, and I felt just how hard he was.

He lifted me to wrap my legs around him as he carried me to my bed. "Kevin?" I wanted to beg him to stop talking, more so thinking I wanted to get this over with regardless of how my body was reacting to his.

"You know what you mean to me, don't you?" I nodded my answer as I looked up at him. I had an idea of exactly what I meant to him. "You got something on me, and I don't want to let you go."

I always felt confused when he said things like that to me. When he would say such nice things, I could feel a piece of me smile, but even with that small feeling, something inside always told me it was wrong for me to be with him.

"Hey!" Kevin and I both jumped at the loudness of Deklyne's voice. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Man, calm down and get out. This ain't got nothing to do with you." Kevin tried to continue where we left off, but I was frozen in mortification.

"You better get your black ass out of my house!" She was trying to snatch him out of the bed now, and once she got a full view of him, she appeared to become sick. "That's fucking disgusting."

"Get out unless you want to join in. As you can see, my dick is big enough to handle the both of you," he arrogantly said with a smirk.

"You must be out of your mind if you think I'd ever let someone like you touch me." Her eyes threw daggers at Kevin, but he just laughed.

"Deklyne, we—" I tried climb from under Kevin and calm her, but she cut me off.

"Shut up! You're disgusting, too." I couldn't say anything back to her. I never saw a point in it. "Do you want me to let Neila know you were more concerned with getting a nut than fixing dinner tonight?"

"You don't fix dinner every night you're supposed to."

"You're not me, you dirty little bitch."

"Damn," Kevin laughed hard and finally sat up. "That's how you talk to your sister?"

"You better shut up and get out!"

I felt the tears welling in my eyes, and I knew I had to get Kevin out before Deklyne or I really lost it. "Kevin, I think it would be better if you came over another time." He gave me and angry and confused look, and I knew the next time he saw me I'd pay for what was happening now. "I promise I'll make it up to you," I pleaded with him and rubbed his arm.

He just brushed my hand off and stood up without another word. As he put his shirt and shoes back on, he and Deklyne exchanged insults. She even took it so far as to follow him down stairs, and I heard them still until the front door slammed. I jumped from the sound of it and desperately tried to prepare myself for whatever was soon about to come out of Deklyne's mouth. I was almost positive she'd be back in seconds with something to say, and sure enough, she sauntered back in my room with a smile on her face.

"God. Really, Terri?" She shook her head at me and stood in front of me with her arms folded. "Don't you think you're black enough? Why would you even think about getting with someone darker than you?" I just wiped the tears that fell on my face as I sat trying to ignore her. "Stop crying. I just did you a favor. What if you would have gotten pregnant by that? That would have been the darkest and ugliest baby ever." She started laughing hysterically, loving every second of my torture.

Finally she left me after she saw I wasn't about to give her anymore of a show. It pained me that my sister never missed a chance to cut me down, but she was right. She had just done me a favor, and whether she knew it or not, I was thankful.

_"Time should not be wasted on males who can only offer me half of what I can effortlessly achieve on my own. My mind is a weapon that most cannot handle, and I'm neither ashamed nor afraid to use it."_

—Neila Heart

I checked and re-checked every one of my findings, not understanding how my colleagues could be so pertinacious about this contract. It had taken me less than an hour to find at least three red flags that should have made us run in the opposite direction.

Honestly, the individuals here were just pigheaded. Once they form an opinion somehow it becomes a fact, and I'm sure this latest bout of pertinacity had to do with the upcoming promotion. Anytime a promotion comes around for the new division, it's off to the races without any thought given to the ground work nor thought given to the ramifications of impetuous work.

I educated and prepared myself to be hired as a CPA; however, I received more than that when I joined Adler Accounting. This is an accounting firm, yet because of a recent partnership a select few have been assigned to finger around in the uncharted territory of investing.

When I was hired the firm was in the middle stages of building a substantial enough client base which would allow them to branch out while keeping the business all in house. It was new and a chance for advancement, and I worked hard to understand all aspects of this new venture, unlike my counterparts who assumed they just knew because they'd be doing it longer than I have—not to mention that my being a woman was a handicap to them.

Regardless of their reservations I managed to bring in enough ideas and contracts to get noticed. The firm knew I was not about to let this company lose money, but because of some macho ego inanity my input is never as valued as it should be to stop such lackluster contracts such as the one I was looking at.

Nevertheless, I couldn't have been any prouder of the progress I'd made at this firm. Here I was the youngest woman at this firm—the youngest black woman at that—who had accomplished climbing the ranks at Adler Accounting. The only other women on this floor were the secretaries who most were shamelessly having affairs with their bosses. That unquestionably added to my motivation to succeed here, but more than that, my own determination was pushing me along.

It had never been difficult for me to find motivation to accomplish any particular thing. I usually saw it as a task that had to get done, and my career at this current company is simply one other thing that must get done.

"Miss Heart, do you ever leave this office?" Luke, one of my better colleagues, popped into my office and planted himself on the corner of my desk.

I thought to speak to him about his liberties he constantly took, but I decided to dedicate most of my attention to my current project. I would not allow his lounging on my desk to distract me.

"Things have to get done, and get done right. Therefore, I have to do them," I informed him, barely taking my eyes off of my files.

"But of course." I noticed him smile at me, and I hated when he did that.

I would always tell him he looked better when he kept a mellow face. He was far from a hideous man; however, I felt he looked more appeasing when he refrained from smiling. Regardless, concerning myself with his countenance was counterproductive, so I put my focus back on the chart I held in my hand. I was able to study it long enough to forget any conversation I was having, but after hearing Luke hum a little tune caused my eyes to drag to him.

"What can I do for you?" I asked him once I realized he was lingering.

He checked some of my folders and tossed them back down before watching me. "Neila, we were supposed to be out of this office two hours ago. You have us out there working extra because we're trying to keep up with you."

His complaining was neither new nor anything I wanted to hear at the moment. If it wasn't about the hours I worked, or how " _consumed_ " I was by my work, he was talking about the décor in my office. Part of the reason I believed Luke had been over looked in past promotions was because of his attitude. He was too laid back and entirely too focused on pointless dribble not to mention being too eager to please others.

"Are you trying to tell me my hard work is a bad thing?"

"It is," he said rather hastily. "We have a certain way of doing things, and you're switching that up."

I finally took a second to give him full eye contact. I certainty hoped he did not believe it was any of his right to come in and advise me on how I needed to operate in my own office. I'd already had this talk with him, so it boggled my mind as to why he felt he needed to bring the topic up once more.

"There must be a reason you're spewing this garbage on me, isn't there?" I asked him, clasping my hands over my work.

He scratched his head before shrugging his shoulders. It was obvious he felt like an idiot now, which he should have. He gave a small laugh and waved his hand toward my door. "You're not fitting in well here."

For a short while, I could do nothing more than watch him. "I didn't take this job to _fit in_ and make friends, Luke." I tried to keep my emotions out of it, but he was quickly adding agitation to the pressure I felt to finish this project on time.

He laughed again and grabbed the file from my hand that I'd just picked up. "You don't have to make friends, but at least—"

"At least what," I cut him off and snatched the file back, "bend over backwards to please the same people who think I have no business being here?"

He shook his head at me and scratched his chin. "No one thinks that."

"Luke, I'm not an idiot, and I'm not deaf. I hear all of the snide remarks made throughout this office building. Namely the remarks about the _Ice Queen_." He attempted to speak, but I waved him silent. "Every one of those immature, whinny boys can say anything they wish in regards to my personality. It most certainly will not change the way I work."

"I seriously doubt they talk down about you," he told me with a matter-of-fact tone.

"Then you must be slow on the uptake, sir," I said calmly and with finality, refusing to take this discussion any farther.

He chuckled and put his hands up in surrender. "Hey, I'm just trying to keep the morale around here. I keep the peace."

"I keep the peace, as well. You don't see me running to anyone complaining. I simply get my work done, and I get it done better than most, might I add."

"See, I love your confidence and work ethic. I think everybody appreciates that they don't have to pick up your slack. What I think bothers some is the way you—"

"Luke, you tell them if they have a problem with the way I work, they can kiss my backside." I hated to speak in such a boorish manner, but I was completely fed up with this little one-on-one Luke was trying to have with me. "I'm not about to slack solely because they do not know the meaning of hard work." I jumped up to replace the file that I no longer needed and also because I was having a hard time remaining close to Luke.

"And you," I turned to him, hand on my hip, "stop coming to me pretending to play mediator. The only reason they send you to talk to me is because your mixed heritage, and they believe you and I can relate. If those white, immature jackasses are so scared that my _ghetto_ side will slip out if they speak with me, how about you tell them not to say things that will infuriate me like, _'Stop doing your job, so we can look good by doing nothing!'_ I would really hope you'd at least think you're better than that."

He didn't speak immediately after I finished my rant, and I had to admit that I was a bit thankful.

"Okay, number one, that's not why I'm in here. Two, no one sent me in here, so please put your ghetto side back up?" I gave him a side-eye, and he just chuckled again. "Seriously Neila, I just came in here to say goodnight. Everyone has already left. I was out there, and everyone more or less made sure to wish a few people a goodnight. I didn't see anyone stop by your office, and I just don't want you to feel like an outcast here. You're a very intelligent and talented woman. I don't—"

"I understand your concern, and I appreciate it," I told him as I walked back over to my desk. "However, their opinion of me is pointless. I do not need meaningless good night wishes nor do I need to feel welcomed into the boys' club. I don't need to make friends at work. There are other things in my life that I actually care about."

"Well," he hesitated, "I guess that's fair." He nodded, and I finally sat at my desk. "So what are you working on now?"

"The Penskey contract."

"We've already done that."

"I really doubt anyone put an effort into digging pass the initial profit margin."

He let out a small scoff and stared at me, but I saw no point in acknowledging whatever was on his mind. "We researched everything of importance, Neila. I was the lead on this contract. I was pretty thorough."

"Every quarter of that company has progressively gotten worse. Why would we or any other company invest in it?"

He let out his little scoff again, and it was really starting to annoy me. "We're proposing a floating contract. That's not a long-term commitment."

"Exactly, that's not a maximum profit. I'd rather have one solid contract versus twenty floating contracts."

"We only have a week to meet our deadline for a new investment principle."

"Which is why I have to iron out these flaws and cement the Vulners contract."

"And you're going to do all of this by yourself?"

I heard the skepticism in his voice, and I'd had just about enough of Luke for the day. "You don't think I can?"

"Unfortunately, I know you can," he said, more to himself and in a hushed tone. I looked at him with a raised brow, but he was focused on my files yet again. "You're like Wonder Woman; you can do everything and without any help from anybody." The way he was speaking held a saddened air to it, and I couldn't figure out if he was giving a compliment or just stating a fact, it could have even been a jab.

"So, what's going on here?" I asked after his elongated moment of silence and refusal to leave me to work. I needed him to move things along.

He let out a heavy sigh before tossing yet another file. I eyed it as it hung in the air and landed messily in a pile. "Like I said, just saying goodnight," I grabbed for my work, but looked up when I felt him staring at me. "That is unless you're up for a round of drinks and a bite to eat. You promised to let me take you out, and I've been dying to take you—"

"Can't," I said flatly as I went back to straightening the mess he'd made. "I have to go home and make dinner for the girls. I have a feeling neither one of them cooked."

"Neila, they're both grown women. You don't have to go home and cook for them." I focused on my task and let him talk to the air as he repeated a line I'd heard a hundred times from him. "Well, you can't say I didn't try."

"Try what, Luke?" I decided not to give him anymore eye contact then I felt and heard him removing himself from my desk.

"You know, it's not uncommon for colleagues to go out to dinner after work."

"Luke for the last time, I do not care to build stronger friendships with anyone here, be it you or anyone else. That is something I need you to comprehend. I'm at this company to work, so stop trying to distract me."

He laughed, but he didn't seem to be having a good time. "Distract you? I'm not trying to distract you. I just wanted to spend some time to get to know you outside of work."

"Right, to build this morale you speak of. Luke, I like you enough to speak to you at work. That is all that matters."

He didn't speak for a while, and I just busied myself until he did. "I guess you're right. I'll see you tomorrow, Miss Heart."

I heard the defeated timbre in his voice, causing me to curiously watch him as he walked out of my office. That man always puzzled me. From the first day I walked into this office, just under a year ago, he'd been the only one that had really tried to get to know me. I'm still a novice at this office and really in this field, but he has always tried to guide me. Unfortunately a lot of it is him wanting me to suck up to veterans. Nonetheless, I really didn't have the time to figure out what his angle was. I'd just keep him in his place.

Forty minutes later, I was finally walking into my home. Just as I suspected, no one had started on dinner. I knew it would be pointless to make a fuss this late at night. I just went on ahead and started on some Hamburger Helper. I knew it would be quick, and it would also give me time to straighten up the house a bit.

After browning the meat and adding the sauce, I went through my routine of cleaning and grabbing the girls' laundry. I knew Saturday I would have to wash my clothes, so I just grabbed everyone's.

"When is dinner going to be done?" Deklyne asked, piling more of her clothes in my arms.

"Did you pick Terri up like I asked?"

"Yeah. When is dinner going to be done?"

"Where is she?"

"In her room crying cause her and her little boyfriend had a fight. Now again, dinner?"

"Boyfriend?" I almost tripped over my own foot whipping around so fast to see if she was telling me the truth. She did nothing more than shrug as if she didn't see the big deal. "Did you check on her?" I asked trying to make it to Terri's room, but Deklyne stopped me.

"Yeah. She said she wants to be alone. Now will you please answer my fucking question?"

I stopped mid step to turn and face her, and she took a step back. "You know better than to use that language with me."

She rolled her eyes and leaned up against the wall. "Sorry, Neila."

"Did you book anything for work?"

"Yes."

"You have everything you need for it?"

"I know how to do my job. Dinner, please?"

"If you need something, just let me know. Let me know ahead of time, don't do it last minute like the last few times."

"Neila, can you please focus?"

I walked into the laundry room and set the basket on the washer before going to check on the food. "Get a plate and hush, Miss Fussy."

I smiled at her as she hurriedly got her stuff and sat at the table. I swear my sisters would be so lost without me.

Five : Terri

I stood on the curb, barely balancing in the heels Dani had me wearing. Even after the spa treatment, my feet were killing me. She knew I hated heels, but she thought since we were having our weekly girls' day, I should dress up.

At least she was kind enough to pull the car up instead of making me walk to it. As soon as she pulled up though, she did have a mile long smile on her face. I couldn't help but chuckle at myself too when I tried to walk to the car.

"Dani, did I really need to wear these?" I asked, tumbling into the car.

"Yes." The laugh she let out was so pure, I couldn't help but join in with her.

"I can't even walk in them."

She finally settled down and reached over to brush some hair away from my face. "You need to show off more. You're always walking around looking so frumpy."

"I don—I dressed comfortably," I bashfully defended myself. I looked at the skimpy dress she had me wearing, and my behind and breast were barely breathing. I didn't even have much of either of them, so I couldn't understand what she thought I was showing off.

"You're my baby sister, sweetheart. Us Heart girls have to look sexy at all times. Hell, keep looking like this and you just might get a boyfriend. _Finally_ ," she added with another laugh.

I didn't take her joke seriously though because I knew she only meant well. Still, I wondered what she would think if she knew about Kevin or even Thomas. I couldn't call either of them my boyfriend, but we did have some type of relationship.

I kept quiet for the rest of the ride to her place as she sang along to the radio. The closer we got to her house, the worse my head started to feel. Knowing Deklyne was going to be there was making me sick. After she'd kicked Kevin out a few days ago, she'd been going overboard with her antics. It had been my mission to stay out of her way, but it had only worked for so long.

"Why you so quiet, sweetheart?" Dani asked out of the blue.

I let out a nervous chuckle and looked at her before brushing strands of loose hair from my face again. "I'm always quiet."

"You're usually quiet, but you're never mute, especially not with me. What's wrong with you? You're over there acting like you don't even want to go."

"I want to go," I quickly spoke up, not wanting her to catch on to anything. She was always the one able to pick up on my moods. I don't know what it was about me she found so interesting that she always had to keep account of my moods.

"Well act like it. Where's that one in a million smile I love seeing on you?"

As soon as she said that, it appeared. I didn't want to smile, but I couldn't help it just then. Having Dani there was giving me the feeling that I would be able to deal with Deklyne.

Minutes later, my assumption was about to be put to the test. I stared at the door, knowing exactly what I was about to walk into. Still, I rang the bell with a small amount of confidence.

"What the hell are you doing, sweetheart? You do not need to ring the damn bell." She opened the door and pushed me aside with a playful laugh following. "Crazy girl."

She strutted in, yelling to Deklyne and Neila that her house had better not have been messed up because of them. I smiled as she fussed but still had the ability to sound so uncaring. The second I heard Deklyne's voice though, I cringed. I didn't even want to continue into the kitchen anymore, but Dani had other plans for me.

"Terri, bring your ass, sweetheart!" I timidly walked up behind her, and she threw me in front of her. I had to balance on her, and I heard her giggle as Neila kept her focus on cooking, and Deklyne didn't seem interested in anything. "Look at this girl." Her toned sounded as if she was bragging, but I couldn't understand why.

Neila finally looked up, and her expression showed how confused she was to see me dressed like this. I instantly became self-conscious and try to move away from Dani, but she hugged me from behind and kissed my cheek.

"Oh my goodness, Terri!" Neila ran over to me screeching and spinning me around. "Where did you get this little number?"

I let out one of my signature nervous chuckles and tried to step off the stage I felt they had put me on. "Dani took me shopping."

"Dani, you know you're wrong for that," Deklyne howled in hilarity. "First, her feet look busted, and the shoes don't even match the dress. Hell, her skin definitely don't go with that dress."

"Deklyne!" Neila nudged her shoulder, almost causing her to fall off the stool.

"She looks gorgeous, and your ass knows it." Dani said that with such ease, you would have thought she actually believed it. "You need to stop with your jealousy because I know Terri can pull more dudes with her looks than you can from just freely passing out your pussy."

"Why would you—" Deklyne tried to speak, but Dani cut her off.

"Shut the hell up. Just know if you say one more slick thing, I'm knocking some actual tint on your high yellow ass. See how much shit you have to say about that."

"Stop it, the both of you. Can we for once get together without throwing negativity at each other?" Neila asked, walking back to the stove.

I decided not to say anything while they all went back and forth, and just like that, I was out of the spotlight. At least I could thank Deklyne for that.

Minutes ticked away as I sat and listened to my sisters chat about their lives. They all lived such interesting lives, and I always felt embarrassed and out of place when I couldn't add anything worth talking about.

I quietly slipped out of the kitchen as I went to sulk about the nothing that was my life. Unfortunately, I hadn't been gone for a good ten minutes before I heard Deklyne nearing me while on her phone. I could only pray that she didn't decide to look in my hiding spot.

"Cris, I'm going to put you on speaker." She waited to let him respond and then she giggled. "No. I just want to. I'm laying on the bed, and I don't want to hold the phone."

"Who else is in there?" he asked, and I heard the amusement in his voice.

"Nobody. I'm not trying to get you to say something so somebody else will hear it. Why would I do that?"

"Why would you do any of the crazy things you do?" The way he spoke was so soothing, and I could tell just from that he had a kind heart. So what the hell did he see in Deklyne?

She giggled again at his comment, and I just rolled my eyes. "So did you just call to hear my voice?"

"Something like that, but I got to talk to you for real."

She sighed, and I could hear her shifting on the bed. "What?"

"Did you do it?" His tone had clearly gotten more serious, but it still sounded soothing.

For a second I got caught in my own thoughts about him, about who he really was. Just hearing him over the phone couldn't really prove a lot, but my mind began to fit my own pieces together.

He was tall, perhaps lanky even. There was a noticeable Spanish accent, so I could picture his creamy, butterscotch complexion. From his mellow voice I pictured his eyes being a warm light brown. Curly hair was a perfect fit for his strong features, but his hair wasn't too long. I didn't take him for the type to like a lot of hair, which is why he didn't have a lot of facial hair. He was smooth. Clean. Nothing rough about his features.

With his new tone however, I wouldn't have been surprised if he had a slight frown on his face. He probably doesn't frown a lot. He's too laid back for that. The frown he was wearing now wasn't too harsh, it was probably really kind of cute. It was probably one of those frowns females loved to see on men.

I almost smiled to myself, thinking how I wished I could actually see his frown. Now that I was thinking about him, I wished I could have actually seen him. Deklyne had never brought him around, and I always thought it was because Maurice had a tendency to show up at random times. Maurice was such a high strung person, always worried about what Deklyne was doing. Cris though, from just his voice I could tell he was more of the laid back type. He wasn't the type to get overly emotional too fast, and that was such an attractable quality.

Lord knows everybody could use some emotional stability, especially my sisters. Why the hell did Deklyne get lucky enough to end up with him? She sure as hell didn't deserve it.

Deklyne did hesitate for a while to answer him, and that caused my curiosity to peek. I pushed a little closer to the closet door, hoping I didn't lean too hard and push it open.

"Not yet," she finally said, "but my appointment is next week."

"Next week?" I heard the skepticism in his voice.

"Yeah."

"If this is what you want, why are you taking so long to do it? You know if you wait too long you're going to miss the window of opportunity?"

"I know, baby."

"Is this something you really want to do?"

"I don't want this kid," I heard her say with nothing but ice seeping from her heart. _Typical_.

"Our kid, Lyne. This is our child you're aborting. Don't forget that. That's your problem; you only think this is about you."

"You told me you weren't ready for a kid."

"And I'm not, which is why I'm not forcing you to make a decision."

"But you want me to keep this thing."

"I want you to keep our _child_ , yes. That's not going to make me any more ready for him or her. That's something I actually need to work through. I can't just say I'm ready because it's supposed to be the right thing to say."

"Cris, I'm going through with it."

"You know where my head is at. I want to raise my child, regardless. I'm not okay with killing him because of my own selfish thinking."

"I can't help how I feel." For the first time I actually heard an emotion other than anger in Deklyne's voice, but I couldn't forget that she was also an excellent fake.

"I know, baby. I'm not faulting or judging you for that. God knows I don't want you to do this, but if I learned anything from mi padre it was I can't make people's decisions for them. This will affect the both of us. One can't make the decision for the other. I want to keep the baby, but part of me sees logic in the choice you've made, and I know I would be okay with the abortion. It's just that's what makes me sick though, knowing I'd be okay with that."

"I make you sick?" the self-absorbed one asked.

"I didn't say that."

"You're implying that."

"Lyne, do what you have to do for yourself. I can't be upset with you because of your feelings. On the flip side, I hate the part of myself that's going to be alright with you getting an abortion."

"So you hate me now?"

"Listen to me, dammit," he said with an irritated sigh. "I understand how you feel. I don't totally agree with it, but even if you wanted our child, I would be feeling this way. My feelings about this whole thing have nothing to do with you. I love you, regardless."

They were both quiet for a while, and I sat holding myself. Tears were tempted to slip down my face as I wondered how Deklyne could be blessed with such a man as understanding as Cris. Even when she did things he hated, he could find a reason to care about her. He loved her without limits, and all she wanted from him was the comfort of having a man who loved her. As soon as she hung up with him, I knew she was about to call Maurice to start the same game all over again.

"So you're going to be okay?" I heard her ask, but I was sure she didn't truly care.

"Yeah. I would like you to learn how to consider my feelings, though."

"I just asked if you were going to be okay," she defended herself.

He chuckled, and I tuned out the rest of the conversation as I thought about the bigger picture. Deklyne was pregnant and about to get an abortion. The thought of her being a mother—a good mother at least—was laughable. She didn't have a nurturing bone in her body, which is why her first thought was an abortion.

"What are you doing?" The closet door sprang open, and I cowered beneath her as she flew into a rage. "You were listening to me? Why the fuck are you in the closet? Who does that?"

"I didn't know you were going to come in here," I admitted, putting my head down.

"Did you think to announce yourself when you heard me come in? Of course you didn't, only someone who's not a complete idiot would."

"I wasn't trying to eavesdrop on you."

"So you heard all my business, huh?" I didn't say anything to her. I hadn't even bothered to look back at her. "Well, you better listen to me, bitch. You utter one word about this and I won't hesitate to blab about all the guys you let fuck you just because they give you a ride home."

"You don't know anything," I snapped at her, upset that she chose to speak about them.

"I don't? Every time you need a ride somewhere or help with something, I come home to find one of them on top of you. Funny how that's the only time they're around."

I didn't bother to say anything else to her insults because the tears were freely falling from my eyes now, plus there honestly wasn't anything I could say back to that.

"That is just sad and repulsive. I told you that's all you'd be worth to these men." She slid the door back in place, and I heard her laughing. "You should think about bleaching that skin of yours and then dressing up. A nice dress isn't going cover that up."

I sat there stuck in a daze for a while until I heard Dani calling for me. I knew once again I would have to face Deklyne, and I prayed God would give me the strength. At the moment I had nothing, and all I wanted was to sit here and hide from the world.

"Terri, where are you?" I heard Neila now, and I stepped out of the closet just in time. "Oh. Come on in here." She bounced Chris, Dani's youngest son, in her arms as she smiled at me. "I'm almost done with the jambalaya. You have to taste it and tell me what I'm missing."

We walked back into the kitchen and Deklyne eyed me evilly and smirked before asking, "So where were you, Miss Red Dress?"

"I just wanted to lay down for a minute. This dress is something I'm not use to."

"Well get used to it, sweetheart. You're about to say bye to the old Terri." Dani laughed then looked at Deklyne, who was still smirking. "And just what the fuck are you smiling about?"

Deklyne's expression instantly dropped once she heard the anger in Dani's voice. "I wasn't smiling," she tried to say calmly, and I actually wanted her to yell so Dani would react. Instead, Dani just laughed and fixed Deklyne a glass of her Malibu.

"Well maybe you should do that more and stop with that evil ass grinning. You don't look as beautiful when you do that, sweetheart." She pinched Deklyne's cheek, and Deklyne just rolled her eyes as Dani once again laughed.

"Dani, you always talk so much—"

"Auntie Neila has to get back to work, love." Neila blurted out to Chris, I guess trying to change the topic. "You want to help me? Yes you do. You're going to be just like me, huh? You're not going to be like these other weak-minded men who feel threatened by women who know how to use their brains."

"Hush with that talk, sweetheart. That boy does not understand you," Dani huffed, and Neila gave her a bothered look before going back to the paperwork she'd brought with her. "And why did you bring work over here? This is The Day of Hearts," Dani sang and topped off her second pitcher of Malibu.

"I got boxed into a corner on my last project, and I can't let that happen again. Aside from that, I'm the one doing the cooking. I'm going to do the cleaning. I can bring something of my own that's going to keep me from focusing on you ladies for a few minutes."

"I just don't understand why you ladies are not as enthusiastic about this day as much as I am," Dani said, and that was all they needed before they went into how enthusiastic they were to be here.

They always had to make everything a competition between them, but I wasn't happy to be over here. I didn't see the need to pretend anymore. I just sat there, being ignored like every other time. The Hearts were remarkable women. They were beautiful, funny, intelligent, and living and enjoying their lives.

I wasn't a Heart and it was clear as day. It was days like these I wished my father would have just let me move in with him after our grandmother died. Growing up with him couldn't have been any worse. I'm positive growing up with a resentful, workaholic father who leaves his kids to the nanny would have been better than what I had to endure.

## Six : Neila

I walked into my office later than usual on account that I had to talk myself down from the amount of anger flooding in me. I knew the second I saw one of those spineless pricks, I was going to lose it. Thankfully, my timeout before coming in cooled me enough to make it to my office.

I threw my briefcase on my desk, took off my coat, and went right for the Vulner case. Seconds before I was engrossed in my work, Luke walked in. I just watched him, the same as I'd been doing for the past couple of days.

"Are you just not going to talk to me?" His tone held much emotion in it, but I had no desire to understand what the explanation was for any of it.

"What is it you would like me to say?" I closed the book I was looking in, and picked up the numbers for Gregory Vulner's last six business quarters. He hesitated to answer me, so I stopped what I was doing to glare at him.

"I don't want you to be upset with me." I didn't move, speak, or give him any other type of reaction. "Neila, you have to understand where we were coming from. We knew what was best for—"

I flew from my seat, my anger back to one hundred percent. "No, you thought it was best, you didn't know a thing. What you decidedly did was what you wanted."

"That's not fair," he all but whined. The spineless waste.

"What you did was not fair," I said, pointing at him.

"You went behind our backs on a contract that we were supposed to be working on together," he accused with a sense of justification flying from his lips.

"First of all, I didn't go behind your back. The first time my input was even asked about the case was last night, after all of you had your meetings and ideas worked out. Only then did you ask me anything, during the _extra hours_ I supposedly have you fellas working, and that is exactly when I told you where my ideas were leading me. You, in turn, went behind _my_ back and told them, and you all turned the investment in early. . . . Without me!"

"Neila—"

"I did not have a say in the Penskey contract! Not one thing! Do not come to me with this incongruity about us supposedly needing to work together. Your immature, little, boys' club prefers to work alone, Luke. I'm not going to continue to sit on the sidelines when it comes to my career."

"Okay, I get it." He put his hands up, but I knew he was just as clueless as he was the day he was born.

"No you don't," I continued with my fussing. "To top that off, you didn't even back me up. You of all people! I thought we were the ones that were supposed to be looking out for each other?"

"Wait a minute, and why is that?" He stuck his hand in his pocket, and his stance became a bit defensive. "So it's okay for you to play on my race, but it's a problem when they do it?"

"I'm not talking about—"

"No! Neila, I agreed with them, regardless of race. You're the one who doesn't seem to see pass your big picture. You came in here with your _'_ _I'm a woman hear me roar_ _'_ bullshit, and it got you nowhere. You're not a hotshot here. You do not know it all."

"Excuse me?" I had to really control myself because losing my temper was not something I was fond of.

"You were out of line and didn't have a clue about what was going on. We actually need floating contracts from smaller businesses because it builds business for us." He put two fingers to his head and pointed at me. "Learn this company before you try to run it and everybody else." He stop talking to walk away but whipped back around. "Stop trying to push me—people away just because you want to do your own thing."

I held my tongue for a few moments, positive that if I spoke, we would have really been going at it. "Fine, Luke," I finally began, cautious to keep my voice calm. "I don't know all there is to know about this company, but I'm learning quite quickly, even with those of you doing what you can to ignore and sabotage me. And for the record, the only reason I would have thought you would have stuck up for me was because you played the role of a caring friend quite well."

I used his terminology back on him. I found it absolutely hilarious that he could give me a sermon on being friendly to my colleagues, yet he had a clear issue with practicing what he preached.

He rubbed his chin and let out a soft chuckle. "Friend? So now I'm your friend?"

"I guess not," I stated the obvious for him.

"Neila, I've tried to be that to you. I really want to be more than—"

"Yeah, I know," I cut him off, tired of hearing his same line. "You want to be more than colleagues." I walked back behind my desk, and he moved closer to its front.

"No you don't know. I want us—me and you—to—"

"You want to build up morale, blah, blah, blah," I said, cutting him off again. I knew it was quite immature of me, but I just had no desire to continue this conversation with him.

"You have to have figured out by now that I do care about you. If you could just let me explain and not cut me off—"

"Clearly you care about me, Luke" I sarcastically told him. He was interrupting my work with this nonsense, and my agitation was reaching its peak. "Your actions have shown me quite a bit."

"Please listen to me. What I did, I didn't do with upsetting you in mind. I really am sorry, but I had to do my job."

"And instead of talking to me, letting me know that I needed to rethink my philosophy on floating contracts, you go behind my back and have the meeting without me? You didn't even give me a heads up that I was getting pushed out, yet you had no problem telling them I was going to propose another contract." I shook my head at him. "That is just the perfect way to show how much of a _'_ _friend_ _'_ you are," I said and ended up mocking him.

He didn't say anything for a while, and I was content with pretending he wasn't even there. After about another five minutes, I got up to fix myself a cup of water from the tray I had set up in the corner. As soon as I walked passed him, he lightly grabbed my waist then let his hand drop.

"Neila, listen. That wasn't . . . I was wrong for the way I handled this situation. I don't know why I let things happen that way." He shook his head and took a step away from me. "All I can do is hope you'll accept my apology."

"I don't do apologies," I simply told him, and my annoyance was still intact. "It happened. All we can do is move on and learn from it."

He gave me a strange look and attempted to speak a few times before he finally did. "Have things between us completely changed?"

"I don't know if I would say they changed. I'd say things have just been clarified."

I tried to walk away from him again, and once again he stopped me. "Neila, this . . . This was a momentary lapse in my judgment."

"That's very unfortunate." I shook my head and interlaced my fingers in front of me, not knowing how any of what he was saying had relevance.

"Listen, we both know how important you are to me—this company, I mean. I wanted . . . Neila, I'm sorry. Okay? When we were talking . . . I know it's childish, but I was really looking forward to . . . You told me you didn't want us to—It's just after we talked—"

"After we talked, you saw the perfect opportunity to go after that promotion," I finished his sentence and stepped away from him again. His slow and incomplete thought process was starting to irritate me.

"What?"

"All of you know I'm a shoe in. I work twice as hard as any of you. In less than a year, Mr. Adler has already put me on multiple major contracts. He sees what I'm capable of, and that scares all of you pathetic, chauvinistic creatures."

"Neila, you can't honestly think that's what this is all about."

"I'm not stupid, Luke. It's the truth."

"It's your truth," he told me coldly, and I frowned, not understanding where his sudden anger was coming from. "If that's what you want to believe, I'm not going to try to beat it out of your head anymore. All of us are out to get you just because you have a pussy. Fine. You keep dealing with it the way you see fit."

With that, he finally left me alone. Despite his unnecessary and very crude performance, I was thankful that I could finally get back to my work. It was now more clear than ever that I had to do everything in my power to let these boys know that little temper tantrums weren't about to make me run for the hills. My career was on the rise, and nothing was about to stop it.

By the end of the day I felt I'd lucked out without any extra problems, but my mood still hadn't gotten any better as I walked out of my office.

"You have a good night, Neila," Jason told me with a smirk on his face.

I gave him what could have passed for a genuine smile and said, "You have a pleasant evening, as well." I was not about to give any of them the satisfaction of knowing how much I loathed them.

I made eye contact with Luke, and he returned my glare. Once again, he'd managed to confuse me with his behavior. We both walked onto the elevator at the same time, and I gave him a side-eye as he practically beg one of our colleagues to ride with us. Of course, none of them had the balls to step foot near me.

The silence that surrounded us was awkward, but I didn't see the need to break it. Finally, when the bell chimed, indicating we'd reached the garage, the doors slowly opened. Waiting on the other side was a woman dressed to kill while facing the line of cars waiting for their owners to drive them home.

She'd whipped around as soon as she heard the ding. "Luke! I was just about to come up there to get you."

"Jennifer, what are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here? Baby?" She stood on her toes attempting to kiss his cheek. I thought it was cute that even in her heels, she was still a head shorter than his six foot plus frame. "We had plans to meet at the Dolei Room at seven."

He checked his watch as he embraced her. "Oh. I'm so sorry. I lost track of time."

"And I got all dressed up for you." He smiled at her as she modeled. "Now where am I going to wear this dress?"

"We'll think of something."

She leaned in to kiss him again, placing her hand on his cheek. The gigantic rock on her finger nearly poked my eye out, and for a split second, a twinge of irritation ran through me. Seconds later, I remembered Luke was half white, so there was nothing I could be bothered about. Technically he wasn't a successful "brother" selling out once he'd made it to the top.

"Excuse me?" I finally attempted to step around them, and I could feel Luke's eyes on me as I made my way to my car.

What a character. How did he have the nerve to be upset with me? He went behind my back. He was just like every one of those other insignificant boys, despising the fact a woman, a black woman, was just as good as—perhaps even better than them at their job. I couldn't help but smile to myself as I started my car and watched Luke. His eyes were still on me, and the contempt was also still beaming across his face. Yes Luke Washington, Neila Heart was not someone to cross.

Seven : Neila

"Neila, if you don't get over whatever it is you're upset about I'm going to kick your ass myself, sweetheart!" Dani yelled to me over the noise as she bounced around to the music.

We'd been at this party for over an hour, and my mood was still in the pits. "All I intended to do was show my face!" I screamed back at her and realized it was unnecessary to yell in order to be heard. "I need to get home to work on this proposal."

"Fuck that. Let those men bust their asses. You need only to reap the benefits." She took another sip of her Nuvo and pulled her dress down only to have it rise again. "Where's Deklyne? She said we were supposed to be good on drinks."

I sat on the couch that was provided for us in what I assumed to be our special VIP section. We were on a terrace above the crowded lower level, and the thought to search for Deklyne among those people was completely overwhelming. I also was not in any mood to deal with an intoxicated Dani, so Deklyne's absence was truly a blessing.

"Dani, sit down for a minute." I wasn't sure if she would hear me since I'd stepped away from her, so I patted the seat next to me.

She walked closer to me but refused to sit. "Why? I'm about to get up out of here. Look at all those fuckable prospects out there. My pussy getting wet just thinking about all the possibilities."

"Dani, really?"

I knew she could care less about what I thought of her, but I wished she had a little self-respect for herself. She just gave me a devilish smirk and sashayed away, and all I could do was shake my head.

Just as she was walking out of our section through one entrance, Deklyne came from the other one mere steps away and dragging a timid looking Terri behind her.

"You said she could come?" she fussed and threw Terri on me.

"You look beautiful," I beamed at Terri as I hugged her, even though I thought Dani could have been a little more modest in her purchase. Still, I didn't want Terri to feel self-conscious about Dani's decision. "You really know how to wear a dress. You should do it more often." She gave me a small smile, and I wrapped a protective arm around her waist because I knew she was uncomfortable.

"Neila, did you invite her?" Deklyne folded her arms and eyed me as if she were ready to do harm to me.

"Yes, I invited her. You had better calm down and get yourself together," I sternly told her. I did not put up with attitude from her, and she knew it.

She threw her hands down, but whatever came out of her mouth, she kept low enough so I didn't hear. "Neila, this is a twenty-one and up party. She's nineteen."

"I am well aware of the age limit. This, however, is your party."

"No, this is Club Skye's party. I'm doing my job by hosting it. I already had to pull strings to get you and Dani in here."

"Even still, they let us in because we're your sisters." I waved my hand over Terri. "Your sister."

She contorted her lips to speak but before she could, we all spotted a gentleman entering our section. "Whatever, Neila. Just keep her out of the way."

Seconds later the man was hugging Deklyne causing her spiteful attitude to flip. "Are you enjoying yourself?" she asked once he set her down. He'd lifted her to his possible six foot plus stature when he hugged her.

"Very much so. I just came over to thank you. I know this took a lot of work on your part, especially dealing with Jon and Mike's ever-changing demands. You're a saint for that."

"It was no problem."

"Wait a minute now!" Dani screamed and brought her tipsy spirits back into the section. "Who do we have here, and why am I not included in this little party?"

She placed herself in the man's arms ever so smoothly, looking up at him as if they were old lovers. He merely looked down at her with a simple and soft smile on his face.

"Dani." Deklyne maneuvered Dani away, but dared not try to scold her. "Dani, this is Gordon. He's one of the owners throwing this party."

"Damn! Fine and rich. You really are after my heart, aren't you? You'll only get it if you have a big dick to sweeten the package, sweetheart." He continued to smile at her as if even with her ridiculous behavior he found something appealing about her.

"Gordon, excuse my sister. She's had a bit to drink," Deklyne said, and I could see the embarrassment on her face.

"So the fuck what," Dani said and pulled away from Deklyne then wrapped around Gordon once again. God knows I love my sister, but she could act so desperate at times. "I like to drink and enjoy myself. Don't you?"

"Danielle!" Unlike Deklyne, I was not afraid to admonish Dani. "You need to straighten up. Be embarrassed. That is all I'm going to say to you." I was able to get her away from Gordon, but I knew his eyes were still on us.

"Why are you being such a sour patch? Look, G Baby," she was on the attack again, "if you find a way to have a good time tonight, invite me." She gave him a hug—a hug he took graciously—and a light kiss on the cheek before she was on her way again.

We all watched Dani as she left, bouncing her backside all the way, but no one looked more mortified than Deklyne.

"Gordon, I'm so sorry. She's usually not like that," Deklyne lied through her teeth. Dani was being a bit extra, but she would have pounced just as hard any other time.

"It's no problem. I didn't mind it." His eyes fell over to Terri and myself as if he were waiting for a conversation to spark, but I saw no need to address him.

"Oh. Where are my manners?" Deklyne spoke politely, and it amazed me how she could switch her personalities so effortlessly. "That's my other sister, Neila." She brought him over, and he extended his hand for me to shake. "He's part owner of Club Skye. They just bought one of the buildings on the strip downtown, and that's where they're going to open their club."

"Going to open?" I questioned feeling a bit lost. "They haven't even opened yet, but they're throwing a party? That's a bit precipitant and presumptuous, wouldn't you say? Clearly the business is not ready. Why the celebratory affair?" I waited for Deklyne to explain things to me, but she only looked at me as if I'd embarrassed her. "What?"

"Club Skye has been open for five years, Neila."

"So the club was torn down or closed to be rebuilt, so now the club is just throwing random parties at whatever building they can settle for? Interesting."

"No. That's not—"

"It's quite possible they can't afford the lost revenue the downtime the renovations would cause." I took a second to take in the actual building I was in and concluded there was a lot the owners could not afford—for instance a decent venue.

"Neila, Club Skye can afford anything they'd like." Deklyne laughed and had the nerve to look at me as if I was an ignoramus. "You know about Club Skye."

"Actually I don't. I wouldn't have inquired had I known."

"It's one of the hottest clubs to ever be opened. Celebrities are always partying there," she gave her useless explanation.

"Okay? How does any of this make sense?"

"Neila?"

I was getting annoyed with Deklyne quicker than usual, and I had to watch my words. "Deklyne, I initially wondered if the club had previously been opened. The answer led me to wonder the location of said club. However, I did not need its history about who'd been there and how long it's supposedly been open." I frowned and shook my head, still a bit lost. "Yet it's about to open for a second time somewhere downtown?"

"Well, we're about to open up our second club here, but our original club is in Miami," Gordon finally answered, and I gave Deklyne a side-eye, not understanding why she couldn't give a straight answer. "That's where I'm from."

I frowned at him then slowly nodded at his extra bit of information. "Good to know you're proud of that information."

"Neila?" Deklyne hit me, and I was two seconds away from drop kicking her. I could tell she was about to get snippy with me, and she was saved from her own tongue lashing once another worker ran up to her with an emergency.

She was gone in seconds, leaving Gordon to stand there looking senseless. I didn't understand why he didn't take the cue to leave right after Deklyne. Seeing no point in his existence any further, I looked for Terri and saw her on the couch looking miserable. I was about to attempt to cheer her up, but I felt Gordon's hand lightly holding my own.

"Uh, Neila?"

"Is there something I can assist you with?" I pulled my hand away from him, waiting for him to explain why he thought he could touch me.

He didn't speak immediately, causing me to give him a side-eye. He let out a barely audible laugh before speaking. "You don't look like you're enjoying yourself."

"I'm not."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's just a fact." I stared at him as he looked completely tentative. There was a good amount of silence that built between us, the music being the only thing seeming relatively interesting.

He eyed me quizzically, perhaps struggling to find a source of charm. "You don't really seem like the club type, anyway."

"I'm not," I told him rather plainly, and he paused and gave a light nod.

"You're more of a business woman, right? I'm guessing from the suit and collared shirt of course," he said in amusement, which was beginning to rub me the wrong way.

"I am."

I noticed him about to break out into a smile, and I rolled my eyes before hearing him speak. "You like to keep your responses short, don't you?"

I sighed and looked down to straighten my suit that needed no straightening. I truly just preferred not to have my attention on him. "What gave it away?" I asked, finishing with my blazer and probably exhibiting my true emotions with the look I gave him.

He didn't respond for a while, so I just walked over to Terri, who was now looking over the balcony at the sea full of people beneath us. I was just about to start a conversation with her when I noticed Gordon leaning next to me.

"So you know what I do, what is that you do, Miss Business Woman?" He held a teasing smile, but I saw nothing amusing about his little comment.

"Miss Business Woman? Is my being in the corporate world amusing to you?"

He straighten himself from his slouched position. "No. No, I was just—I want to know what type of business you're in." He slightly frowned and looked away from me, seeming as if he was trying to figure out what he'd said wrong. "I guess I should have just asked what your occupation is. That just sounds so formal."

I just watched him for a minute, and then I heard him clear his throat before he went back to leaning over the balcony. He and Terri mimicked each other, displeased facial expressions and all.

"I'm a CPA at Adler Accounting," I finally said, and it took him a second to realize I was talking to him. I could tell he was attempting to figure out what that was. "I'm an accountant but with more responsibilities. My firm manages countless large sums of money and large franchises so they look to me because of my expertise dealing with financial matters." I gave a slight shrug, not seeing the harm in divulging a few more facts to him. I actually fancied telling him this. "Adler Accounting has decided, against recommendations might I add, to venture into investments which—"

"Investments?" he cut me off with his question. "Really? I was actually looking for someone to help me invest in a few things. Maybe I could get your number, and you could help me—"

"I'm not a personal investment broker." I couldn't believe his nerve. It was just like a man to not listen to anything a woman was saying, even after he'd asked the question. "Were you even paying attention?"

He frowned again, easily catching on to my attitude. "Yes, I was paying attention. I was just hoping you could—"

"I can't give you any information on what to invest in. There are people who can, however. I suggest you find one of them; they're called investment brokers, not CPAs."

"Thanks for that bit of information."

I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was ticked off. I was too, so I really didn't understand why he was still standing there. He actually stood there for another minute or so before speaking again, but his tone was still pleasant enough. The look on his face was even softening.

"Would you mind telling me what a CPA could do for me?"

I eyed him as the annoyance he was, and let out a sigh before I decided to just answer his question to hopefully end this encounter as quickly as possible. "In a nutshell, I'm an accountant that does more than keep account of your money and tax records. I also make my clients money without them having to spend much of theirs."

"I think that is very important when running a business."

"Yes, it is." It was quiet between us for a little while longer, and I rubbed Terri's back as she looked off into nowhere.

"Is it possible to get your number in case I may need your services in the future?"

"My services are not for personal use." I watched Dani walk up to the bar to get her umpteenth drink, and I was suddenly wishing I hadn't volunteered to be the designated driver. Conversing with Gordon was starting to give me a headache, and I felt I now needed a drink myself. "I work with businesses."

"I do own a business, Neila," he told me as if I'd forgotten something important.

"You own a small business," I informed him then finally turned to face him again. "But not too long ago, I learned that we need smaller businesses." I picked up my purse and pulled my business card from my wallet. "If ever you should need it," I tiredly said as I handed it to him.

He didn't even respond; he just took the card and watched me as I left with Terri tucked under my arm. I was positive Dani was going to find her way into someone's bed tonight, so I took Terri out into the night. I couldn't believe I'd wasted a night here when I could have been done with my _'_ _small part_ _'_ of our newest proposal project.

Not even a full day into our new project and they'd already saddled me with the mere task of collecting the quarterly findings. Any one of their secretaries could have done this job, but luckily for me they decided to make me a team player and finally offered me a task. A task, by the way, that had no need for an opinion. Just give us the paperwork, secretary, and sit quietly until we turn in the proposal without you even knowing. It was definitely time to focus more on my work and not spend my time partying the night away.

## Eight : Dani

"I can't believe you're finally letting me take you out again." He hungrily bit into his burger, and his lack of manners caused my stomach to turn a little. "I just knew you was trying to blow a brother off."

I forced a sexy grin on my face as I picked at the salad before me. I felt my time being wasted. This dude was less than attractive, poor, and beyond boring. The only reason I'd decided to let him take me out again was because he knew Tavaris and Macy, and I needed information.

"I've been busy, sweetheart," I told him blandly. "Although, you should know you can't keep me on some schedule. If you think you're supposed to hear from me at certain times and when you want to then I suggest we end all ties. Period." I let him know with all seriousness.

"I'm not trying to put you on lock, baby. I know you're not looking for that." He smiled and reached for my hand across the table.

All I could do was stare at his wide mouth, wondering just how many extra teeth he had stuffed in there. The sight made me sick. "What did you bring for me?" I stiffly directed my attention to the bag sitting next to his foot.

He looked down, plastering an even bigger smile on his face. "Oh, yeah." He laughed and looked at me with a sly grin. "That's for later."

"And just what the fuck is later?" I took a sip of my tea and eyed him like the garbage he was.

"Calm down, baby. I got you." He licked his dry lips, and the more he brought attention to his jacked-up features, the harder it became for me to sit in this seat. I was thankful that we were on the patio at the restaurant; the fresh air was doing wonders at the moment. "What's in this bag," he placed it on the table, looking at it as if it was a golden pussy, "is how you're going to make it up to me."

I peeked in the bag at the lingerie and couldn't do anything but giggle at his nerve. "I'm really going to have to break you in, huh?" I couldn't even remember his name well, and he thought he could get some when he wanted it? He was quickly helping me remember why he was listed in my _'_ _only in emergency_ _'_ list.

I was just about ready to let him have it when I spotted that sexy piece of pleasure from Deklyne's party the other night. I bit my lip as I watched him open the door to a boutique and allowed an older woman to enter ahead of him.

"Dani?" I heard the waste of breath speaking, but I tried to ignore him. "Dani? Dani, what the hell you looking at?" He put a laugh in his question, but I could hear the insecurity in it loud and clear.

I slowly turned my eyes to connect with his, and I felt my anger rising steadily due to his audacity. "You," I paused to let him understand the gravity of what I was about to say to him, "should never worry about the shit I decide to do unless I inform you that it involves you." I stood up and took one last sip of my tea. "Sit here awhile, sweetheart. I see a new friend of mine, and I'm going to make sure he's thinking about me." I knew I didn't need to explain why I was leaving, but I wanted him to know the reason. I patted his head as I left, but stopped to grab the bag. "This might come in handy."

Moments later I was walking into the boutique, discreetly searching for that man. He wasn't that hard to spot, being that he was the only male in the boutique. I wasted no time in making my way to him.

"Buying something for me already? I haven't even let you taste it yet, sweetheart."

He quickly turned to me, a frown covering his features until his eyes finally rested on me. That's when a beautiful smile spread across his face, and I got a little giddy because I've always loved a nice smile. The only thing that threatened to spoil the mood was when he tilted his head to the right a bit, giving the impression that he was thinking hard about something.

"Dani, right?" he asked and continued to smile like that was some cute shit to say.

I raised one eyebrow at him and softly chuckled. "On no. That's not acceptable, G Baby. Don't you even dare pretend that my name slipped your mind." I stepped closer to him, grabbing the barrette he'd been studying. "I'm not anybody that's forgettable."

"I apologize," he said smoothly. "I never meant to make you think that because you truly are unforgettable."

I caught myself fascinated by the way his eyes seemed to sparkle, and for a second, he made me forget why I actually came in here. Surprisingly, it took me a few seconds to regain my focus, and I had to break eye contact in order to do that.

"Who exactly do you think this is for? This is too old for my taste." I examined the antique looking barrette and concluded that he'd need to be taught how to buy me a proper gift.

"Old?" He grabbed it back from me to take a look, and I had to bite my tongue. I didn't want to bite his head off before giving him a chance. "You don't think she would like this? It's a hair clip thing."

I giggled at his simpleness. "No, sweetheart. That is something you give your grandmother so she can have something unique to look at. Lord knows nobody would actually wear that."

He shrugged and held a defiant attitude about himself. Usually, it would annoy me, but he made it tolerable. "I like it," he finally said.

"You're not getting it for yourself. Put it back." I snatched it from him and placed it back in its spot. I looked him over, debating about the reasons he was in this particular boutique. "I'm assuming you have some chick you're trying to impress, so you're buying her something from a fancy boutique."

His eyes smiled at me again, and again I felt my stomach flutter. It was odd that I felt some type of reaction from him doing something so small, especially when I'd never been impressed by a man's eyes before. They were just some damn eyes; everybody has them.

"Something like that," he spoke, bringing my mind from my thoughts. He started walking over to a table full of clutch bags and picked up one then tossed it back down. "Since I obviously have poor taste, would you mind?" He waved his hand around the store, and I lifted an eyebrow at him for the second time.

"Do you really expect me to help you pick out a gift for your woman?" I watched him, waiting for him to deny his bitch and claim that she was either just a good friend, his sister, or a cousin. It was a script they all stuck to, thinking I'd care one way or the other. Even when they claimed their bitches, I took them, got everything I wanted from them then sent them back where they came from.

A glimmer in his eyes told me he was about to fess up to whomever she was. "She's very important to me, and I want to make sure her gift is perfect." He ended with that same smile, and any other time a random smiled at me as much as he did, I'd be ready to knock it off their face.

Regardless that I loved a nice smile, someone you just met clearly couldn't be trusted if they smiled at you this much. His, however, grew on me the more he did it.

"That's very inconsiderate of you, sweetheart. How do you think she's going to feel when she finds out her competition picked out her gift?"

His expression showed his amusement, but I was damn sure not trying to amuse him. "Dani, I'm sorry, but you'll never be any competition for her. She'll always be number one in my life."

His nerve bit me, but he wasn't the first to allege loyalty to give the impression of being a good man. Despite it all, I've always made good work of every one of them.

I gave him a sweet smile and fixed his collar for him a bit. "That's what the last one said, G Baby." I noticed him take a step closer to me, giving me the proof that he'd soon fill another slot on my roster. "I'll never be anyone's second thought, especially for some other chick." I slid a finger under his chin and slowly licked my lips.

His eyes were glued to my movements, and I could practically see his fantasies play out in them. "If she wasn't in my life," he let out softly as if it was taking everything in him to form words, "you'd probably cross my mind more than eating. However, my daughter will forever be that chick that has the number one spot in my thoughts." He never broke our impassioned eye contact, and I'm sure the other shoppers were becoming more than a little curious about our actions.

"Your daughter?" I asked him and flashed him a tender smile. I found it funny that he thought a girl could be competition for me.

He tilted his head and finally moved back before picking up a deep brown colored pashmina from the shelf behind him. "Yes. The one and only Hayley White," he said with an air of importance that I still didn't understand. "Is this too old for a five year old?" He held the pashmina up to his chest, and I snatched it with a giggle.

"I doubt it's her color, sweetheart."

"Yeah, she's more of a yellow girl."

I tossed the pashmina back on the shelf and thought about why he seemed so peculiar. He wasn't the first man I would have who had a small fry, but he definitely was the first to use that excuse.

"Then maybe you should look for things that are yellow," I told him, but he suddenly put his focus on a shelf full of more fancy hair clips. "So is this the only reason you're out now or are you eating later?"

"Already ate," he quietly responded and walked a few feet away from me to look at a small display of bracelets.

My eye twitched just slightly as I found myself following him. "Well, I was unable to finish my meal earlier today—"

"Bad food?" he asked and interrupted me, but he still kept his eyes off of me.

I squinted at him, wondering just what the hell his problem was. "No. I prefer my company to be a bit more spirited."

"Oh." He moved to the other side of the display, and for a third time my eyebrow lifted because of his actions.

"I'm giving you gold here," I spoke to him in a tone that should have helped him realize he was slipping on his progress.

"She doesn't like gold. I mean, yellow kind of looks like gold, but she only likes silver jewelry."

My head slightly shook as I had to take a minute to understand what he thought he was doing. "You're talking about your girl?" He nodded and picked over a few of the bangles.

His inattentiveness was starting to irritate me, and normally I would have already said something about his behavior, but there was a feeling in the pit of my stomach that wouldn't let me react normally. The only logical explanation I could come up with was his uniqueness. He made it obvious that he wanted me, but he turned that shit off just as quickly as he turned it on. He was different, and there had to be a reason for it.

"How old are you?" I asked him after actually taking time to unsuccessfully analyze him.

He finally eyed me, and even with his teasing glare, he never lost that sparkle. "Twenty-six. I'll be twenty-seven in a few months." He looked away from me and frowned. "Damn, I'm getting old."

"Old? Are you serious?"

He let out a laugh before turning to face me completely. "Very. I remember dreading this age since I was seventeen." I just looked at him, and he saw the need to explain a bit further. "See, twenty-one, life legally gets interesting. Twenty-two to twenty-three, you're not as new to the foolishness you're doing, and you probably have some type of routine. Twenty-four, your life should be coming together if your head's on right. And twenty-five, you're still young enough to do some of the stupid shit you use to, but you're that mature person that knows how to handle your business. And then twenty-six, everything is just going downhill from there."

All I could think after hearing his garbage was how flawed his logic was. Thankfully, what I wanted him for would never cause for him to use a tremendous amount of brain power. "I don't know what the hell you're talking about, but nothing about me is going downhill."

He gave me long appraising look with a full smile on his face. I could tell he wanted to ask my age, but he wouldn't let the words come out in haste. "I take it you're twenty-six or plus."

"Plus two, sweetheart," I told him without the slightest feeling of embarrassment.

"Damn, really?" I saw him giving my body another once over, and I could see him turn his lust back on. It almost made me laugh this time. The thirst was everywhere on his face, from the bite in his lip, to the glint in his eyes, to the smirk at the corner of his mouth. "You look good for—"

"If you say for your age, I promise, I will slap you right here in this store."

He shook his head and looked away from me. "Wasn't going to say that at all. I was going to say," he paused to smirk at me, "you look good for someone wearing such a hideous top."

My head quickly shot down to my shirt, and had he been any other dude I would have cursed him out. Instead, I just smiled and took his banter. "Real funny, Gordon." I shocked myself with that weak ass move, but I still hadn't found the want to correct his behavior.

"Gordon? What happened to G Baby?"

"Sorry, sweetheart." I thought about finally saying to him what I'd been holding on to, but seeing him lick his lips put another thought in my head. "You're going to have to work to get that name back."

He got a desirous shine in his eyes after catching onto my meaning. "Oh really? And just how can I do that?" He moved closer and stared down at me, causing me to yet again get lost in his dark brown orbs.

I caught myself smiling on reaction, and I had to curse myself in order to come back to my senses. What the hell was I doing, allowing him to get away with shit and smiling about it? It puzzled me, but it entertained me as well.

"You'll have to work for it," I finally said to him, and I said it slowly so he could understand. "That means you'll have to impress me."

"For some reason," he moved a piece of my bang out of my eye and traced his finger to the corner of my mouth then brushed it under my chin, "I doubt that's going to be an easy job."

I grabbed the line of buttons on his collared shirt and pulled him even closer to me. I lifted up just a bit, and he brought his ear to my lips. "Trust me, it won't be," I whispered to him, and he moved away with a teasing smile on his face.

For another hour or so, I decided to help him narrow down the choices of what to get for his girl. He ended up choosing a custom made necklace with her birthstone set in a movie clapperboard. He went on and on about how his girl loved movies, and I was more than thankful when he shut up about the whole thing.

He did, however, suggest that I get my girl something similar, as a thank you to me. He asked me what her birthstone was, and I had to make something up. Then I had to tell the lady to set the gem in a book because that was the first thing I saw when Gordon asked what the girl liked to do.

All in all, the time we spent together could have been better served, but it was spur of the moment, so I was willing to let him slide for not focusing on what he should have been. He did earn a lot of my interest back once he decided to take me home after learning I was at a lost for transportation.

"It was really nice getting to know you better, Dani. I mean it," he told me after he'd pulled into my driveway.

I almost laughed because he didn't know shit about me. "Trust me; you haven't seen anything yet, sweetheart."

"Oh, really?" he quizzed me, and I just watched him. "Well, I'm still getting use to this city, and it makes me feel better to know a few faces here and there."

"Don't worry. I'll make sure to teach you everything you need to know about this city."

He licked his lips before saying, "You're really trying to make a brother sweat, huh?"

"If you sweat from just me talking, you might not be able to handle me," I honestly told him. I thought about that possibility, and it almost pissed me off. He came in a damn good package, and if he couldn't preform to my satisfaction, he would have to pay dearly for wasting my time.

"Danielle. Danielle," he said softly before taking time to watch me. Just as they did in the boutique, his eyes captivated me. The idea of me actually getting caught up in someone's eyes made me giggle at myself. "What?" he questioned, oblivious to the fact that he was soon to be quickly used and thrown away just because his eyes were becoming too damn distracting for me.

I merely smiled at him and opened the door. "You have a good day."

I was almost out when I felt his hand on my arm. "You know, it would make it a little easier to work to impress you if I had your number."

I grabbed his cell and programmed my number before our final goodbyes were exchanged. It was safe to say I'd just met the man that would be taking Tavaris' place, at least for the time being. Gordon would do for a while, but I still had unfinished business with Tavaris.

Nine : Deklyne

I devoured the pizza I'd ordered in the fifteen minutes that I'd been waiting for Gordon to meet me. I couldn't understand why I'd become such a pig. I'd gotten rid of what was growing inside of me, so my appetite shouldn't have been this out of control. I was even told that I was more than likely not going to have an appetite for a while.

It wasn't long after my fifth slice that Gordon finally came strolling in. He wasn't as dressed up as I was used to seeing him, now wearing baggy black jeans, a fitting white t-shirt with a tank under it, and his shades still in place on his face. Once he made it to the table he leaned down to give me a peck on my cheek before lazily throwing himself down in his chair.

"And what kept you?" I asked with food still in my mouth.

He didn't speak for a moment, but even with his blacked-out glasses on, I knew his eyes were on me. "You don't even want to know."

I shrugged and took another bite. It was very quiet at the table for a while longer, and I finally picked up on him not being his usual goofy self. "Gordon, what's wrong?" I asked him in an overly concerned tone, still with pizza in my mouth.

"Why are you eating so damn much, girl? You ate a whole pizza by yourself?"

"I don't know." I laughed a bit and wiped my face with a napkin. "I guess it's just this pizza."

"That pizza ain't all that, and you know it." He smirked at me for a minute then leaned over the table. "You finally put your man on lock so you're about to get as fat as you want, huh?"

I threw my used napkin at him, but he knocked it to the side. "I will never get fat, ass."

"Keep eating like that and we'll see, dammit." He was laughing now, so I was hoping he was in a better mood.

I really didn't feel like babying anyone's feelings today. Maurice was e-fucking-nough.

"But seriously, do you mind if we make this quick? I have some other issues I need to attend to today."

"Not a problem with me."

"Good." He pulled out his phone, I guess he'd gotten a text or missed a call. Either way, he put it back up after reading the screen. "First, let me thank you again for the first party you hosted for us. I thought it was enough, but Jon and Mike think we should do another one because they want to reach a bigger audience." He scoffed then shook his head, and something told me he was about to start bitching.

It never fails. Hold a conversation with someone long enough and they feel the need to tell you their life story or at the very least complain about something that has nothing to do with you. Why couldn't people just be like me?

"Plus shit ain't coming together like we thought it would," he started, and I did my best to hide my eye roll. "Contractors man, wish I could do that part myself. You know? It's so ridiculous when you can't even count on the people you're paying."

"So they want to do it at a bigger venue?" I ignored his little rant.

"Yeah. I really don't understand why we need to throw another party. We open up in a month. We could have our grand opening and call it a night."

"Most people do," I said before sipping on my soda.

"That's their problem. They don't want to be like the norm. They want to build the anticipation." He reached over for the last slice, and I popped his hand. "Damn, girl!" I laughed as he shook his hand as if trying to shake the pain away. "I can't even get a slice?"

"You didn't ask."

He sucked his teeth, but smiled at me. "May I please have a slice of pizza?"

"You sure can, if you go and order your own."

He frowned and fell back in his seat. "Your stingy ass."

"Well." I shrugged and slowly blinked, not giving his comment a second thought.

"And you greedy, too."

"I don't care what you think of me." I smiled and cocked my head to the side. "You still ain't getting none of my pizza."

"Fuck your pizza." I laughed at him, and he just stared at me for a few seconds. "We're here about business, anyway."

"Well, do proceed." He smirked at me again, and I smiled as I let my tongue play with my straw. He wouldn't say anything, and I knew it was because his eyes were on my lips. "Gordon? Business."

"Oh, my bad." He licked his lips before sitting up. "Like I said, we're just looking for a bigger venue and a wider demographic."

I grabbed my notepad from my bag and began taking notes. "Okay, but are you still looking for the same crowd? I mean, who are we trying to market to?"

"Yeah, we're targeting the same urban crowd, but we want to attract and have something for everybody."

"And are you looking for us to find girls this time or are you guys handling that again? I remember how that was a big fucking issue the last time." I rolled my eyes, remembering how his grotesque friend reacted to every little thing I said or had an opinion on.

"Jon has the women in cages on standby." He shook his head, but I didn't care to hear an explanation behind his obvious distaste. "Oh, it's alright that I'm coming to you to do the party, right? I wasn't sure if I had to go back to your company or not."

"No, it's fine. I took the job the first time, so technically you're my client."

"Your client?" he chuckled, but I just ignored him. "Damn, you made that sound dirty." I heard the filthy tone he was using, and I peeked at him from my notepad and frowned at his smirk. He laughed and rubbed the side of his face. "I'm just playing, girl." My agitated expression didn't change, and after seconds of silence, he cleared his throat. "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to disrespect you. It's just been a long day already," he rambled. "I just need to relax. I make jokes when I'm stressed, and—"

He stopped short when he noticed my eyebrows hit the roof. I was hoping he would pick up on that being my way to tell him to shut the hell up, and thank goodness he did. He straighten himself up a bit more and brushed his waves down. In the process, he accidentally knocked his glasses off his face, and I saw a dark bruise next to his left eye.

"What the hell happened to you?" He ignored my question and just reached for his glasses, but I snatched them.

"Hey, give me my glasses." His tone was low, and I almost laughed at him for trying to sound serious. He was never serious.

"The hell happened to your face?"

"Nothing." His mood had changed quick, and I seriously couldn't ask for anything better to happen.

The whole time I've been working with him, I've never been able to piss him off, and I was starting to think it was impossible. His friends were easy enough, and after a while their reactions started getting boring. Gordon wouldn't even budge, though. He just shrugged everything off like he didn't care or just thought it was a joke. Now I couldn't wait to see how far I could push him.

"Nothing my ass. You have a big ass bruise on your face," I pointed to it and laughed.

His eyes flashed with annoyance, but I knew he could give me a better reaction than that. "And why do you care?"

"I don't care." I shrugged and smiled even wider at him. "I just want to know how it got there."

"Stop being so damn nosy," he told me still with a level of calm.

I eyed him for a second, trying to figure out just how I needed to press him. "Just tell me what happened," I egged him on, figuring talking about it would bring his feelings out. "You're not getting these back until you do." I place his glasses in my bag and put my bag in my lap.

"Deklyne." Attitude soaked his words, his body language, even the entire atmosphere, but I just laughed on the inside.

"What?" I threw his attitude right back at him, but my laugh almost slipped out when his expression showed me he was just about to his breaking point.

He let out a tired sigh and slightly shrugged his shoulders. "I got hit. How else do you get a bruise?"

"And that happened because?" I tried to drag an answer out of him, but he just glared at me. "Fine. If you don't want to tell me about getting your ass beat, that's fine."

"I didn't get my ass beat," he cut in so quick, I guess trying to set the record straight. "I got hit once."

"Did you beat his ass?" The laughter I was holding in came out a little because of the face he made at my question. I had to admit though, he was looking hella' sexy with his little mean mug. "Hello?" I said after he just continued to sit there.

"No, I didn't," he answered quietly and a little too calmly.

What did he think he was doing? He was right there, and now he wanted to cool off? I knew I had to push him a little harder. "You let somebody put that on your face, and you ain't do shit? You must be a bitch."

"Watch what you say about me, girl." His eyebrows rose a bit, but he was still too calm.

"Or what? You take ass whippings. Why should I be threatened by you?"

"I don't take ass whippings!" he argued, and I finally let out my laugh. He shook his head and mumbled something under his breath.

"You don't hit people back," I explained his bitchassness to him.

"I don't hit females back," he said matter-of-factly, only making himself look even more like an idiot.

I let out the loudest laugh after he said that. I laughed for so long and so hard, I had to put my head on the table to keep everyone in the restaurant from looking at me, and I was shaking the table.

"You let a female do that to you?" I finally asked after taking a sip of my soda to calm down.

He glared at me for a while before he said anything. "I ain't let her do shit."

"You let a female put her hands on you, then you walk around wearing shades to cover up you being too scary to defend yourself."

"The fuck are you talking about? First of all, she hit me with a shoe." He still kept his volume low, despite the anger I heard in his voice. "Second of all, I wasn't scared to defend myself because she would have done worse if I hadn't sat her ass down. I just didn't need to beat her to make her calm down."

"No, you should have beat her ass. She hit you with a shoe." I wanted to add idiot to my comment so bad, but he spoke before I could get it out.

"Why would I hit the mother of my child?"

I stared at him, shocked that he'd be bold enough to admit that. Not only did he get his ass beat, but it was by his baby's mother. I could just imagine how many times he'd gotten his ass beat by her before. "Damn, it just gets deeper with you, huh? You know they have domestic abuse hotlines open twenty-four hours, right?"

"Yeah," he said with no emotion. "Give me my glasses."

I threw them at him, and he slid them back in place. "You got all the information you need?" His tone was less than friendly, and I knew he was seconds away from bolting out of the pizzeria.

"Yeah. If I need anything else I'll just call you. Unless your baby mama will have a problem with that," I teased, letting out another laugh.

"This shit ain't funny, Deklyne. What's wrong with you?" I knew he was bound to catch an attitude, but now that the situation was over he really needed to let it go.

"Will you calm down? I'm not trying to piss you off," I lied.

"Laughing at my problems is not the way to prove that. That's petty."

"What problems do you have?" I knew he was blowing things out of proportion. "She got mad at you for creeping in late? Were you late on your payments? What?"

"Not that you deserve any explanation, but two days ago she came up here with my brother instead of my daughter." He still wouldn't fuss, but his tone was coming pretty close to it. "I was supposed to be spending the week with my little girl, and her ass decided to bring my brother so they could talk me out of moving here."

"And she thought hitting you upside your head would convince you to move back with her? She's an idiot."

"If you need to get in contact with me, you know how to." He stood up, and I stood with him, placing my hand on his arm.

"Gordon, I hope you're not mad at me." I knew he was, but that wasn't the point. I needed my money for this party, so I had to stay on his good side.

"You hope I'm not mad at you?" he questioned as if I was stupid for saying that.

"Okay, well let me apologize. I know I say things that I shouldn't, and I've been working on that. Please don't leave this upset with me?"

"After clowning like that, you're really saying this to me?" He turned to leave again, and I rushed to step in front of him.

"Gordon, I'm sorry." I put slight desperation and remorse in my tone. I knew I'd have to put on a show for him. He was clearly one of those emotional dudes. "I really didn't mean to get you this angry."

"I'm not a man for games or immature ass people, Deklyne. Now you have a good day." He tried to walk away yet again, and I had to physically restrain him, but that didn't even work. He just nudged me off of him. "What the hell do you want?"

"I'm trying to apologize," I half whined.

"You already did."

I shrugged, not understanding what his fucking problem was. "Gordon?"

"You take shit too far." He frowned but wouldn't move, so I figured he was at least giving me a chance to plead my case.

I stepped closer and gripped his arm. "I know. I was just joking," I used his same stupid line. "I guess I let my stress get in the way of my work, too. You make nasty jokes, and I make rude ones." I figured he'd eat that shit up. "I really wasn't trying to make you mad, though. I know what line not to cross now." He kept his eyes on me for a while, but he wouldn't say anything. "Gordon, please? I promise, I will never take things that far. I just had a moment."

His lip twitched a little as if he didn't believe me. "So this won't happen again?"

"No, Gordon." I smiled at him, but I really wanted to curse him out.

"Good because my life is not a joke, baby."

I nodded and kept smiling, but he just watched me with his frown. "Can I get a hug?"

He continued with his mean mug and slapped my hands down. "Hell no. I'm still mad at you." I finally laughed. Hearing him admit that was actually funny. He finally smiled after I put my arms back out for him. "I have to keep my eye on your ass, I see," he told me and hugged me.

"You can watch my ass all you want," I replied, not really caring what he decided to do. I knew I was going to try to piss him off again.

He gave me another kiss on my cheek before leaving me there. I knew working with him again was going to be fun. I now had a button to push when I was with him, not to mention he was one of the few who looked good angry. I finished my soda and picked a piece a pepperoni off my last slice of pizza before throwing everything away and leaving.

## Ten : Neila

For the past three days, I'd closed myself off in my office so I could focus on coming up with ways to get my voice heard. After having my plan backfire on me, the boy's club was putting extra effort into excluding my opinions. Today, however, my stomach was not about to let me work through lunch again. The deep growl I had was now turning into an angry rumble, and it felt like my stomach was actually trying to jump out of my body to find its own food.

Minutes after straightening my folders, I was heading out of my office. As my luck would have it, I ran right into Gordon. He was attempting to fix himself a cup of water from the water cooler, and he nearly knocked over the machine when he saw me.

"What are you doing here?" I questioned him, displeased with his valor to just show up at my place of business.

He just watched me for a second, irritating me even further. "I was serious about my investments," he told me nervously.

"Listen," I exhaled and stalked towards him. "I help this company find investments. I don't find investments for individuals or small companies. If this company wants to deal with your small business, then we can set up some type of appointment. You can't just show up here and expect me to drop everything for you just beca—"

"What happened to your short responses?" he asked, rudely interrupting me.

"Excuse you? When someone is talking, the appropriate and respectable thing to do is let them finish."

"I do apologize. There was no disrespect intended. I sincerely wanted to know where this long winded response came from."

He winked at me, and I threw him a side-eye. "I'm being serious with you, Gordon. The least you can do is act mature enough to hold a civilized conversation."

"Again, I give you my deepest apology." His eyes pleaded for forgiveness, but I saw the juvenility in his actions. I honestly pitied the man because he obviously had no idea how to behave like an adult.

I just sighed and tried to move on. "I gave you my card so you could call me, not just show up—and during my lunch, no less."

"First of all—"

"No first of all," I cut him off waving my hand. "What did you expect to happen?"

"Gordon." At the sound of Luke's voice, we both looked at him approaching us. He shook Gordon's hand and continued ignoring me like he'd done since our blow up. "Sorry to keep you out here waiting. I was actually discussing your business," he said, waving a manila folder, "and I have great news. If you wou—"

"Wait a minute?" I attempted to bring attention to myself, but Luke purposely and immaturely kept his eyes on Gordon. "You were discussing Gordon's business with who?"

"You can follow me to my office and we'll talk in more detail about what we can do for each other." Luke just held his arm towards his office and tried to walk Gordon away.

"Luke, what do you think you're doing?" I snatched the folder from his hands, and he finally looked at me.

He plucked his property back from me and frowned. "My job, Miss Heart, now if you will excuse us. Right this way, Gordon."

I held Gordon's arm, and he looked down at me with a confused smirk. I ignored him and gave my attention back to Luke. "I don't know what you think you're doing. Gordon is my client."

"I'm your what?" Gordon questioned. "You just gave me a speech about—"

"Quiet," I snapped at him, and pushed Luke into my office. When I tried to close the door, however, I realized Gordon had followed us. He didn't appear to be going anywhere, so I was forced to have this discussion with him standing there. "Luke, I don't know what kind of games you've been trying to play, but I'm sick of it," I said, finally closing the door.

"All I'm trying to do is my job while staying out of your way."

"You love going behind my back. This time you actually steal a client from me," I fussed. It wasn't in my nature to get over the top, but Luke had pushed me to this.

"Actually—"

"I didn't let you in here to speak," I shut Gordon down while giving him a glare.

"I'm not understanding why we're in here at all," he shot back. "You made it clear that you didn't want to work with me. Hell, you didn't even want to stand next to me when I first met you. So I saw what business you worked for and made an appointment with someone else."

"You did what?" I walked closer to Gordon, and he backed up a bit. "What kind of sense did that make? Why wouldn't you just go to a completely different company all together? I declare, men are the most unthinking individuals."

"Him choosing to work with me instead of you doesn't hurt your feelings, does it?" Luke asked, and I knew I heard a bit of resentment in his voice.

"Luke, now is not the time for your little remarks, and no it doesn't hurt my feelings. It enrages me that you love to go behind my back and take my work away from me."

"How was I supposed to know he got our company's information from your business card? We pay for advertisement for a reason, Neila."

"I'm so tired of this," I was through with the both of them. They clearly wanted to play games, and I was not in the mood to deal with it. "Get out. The both of you, get out." I snatched my door open, waiting for them to leave. They simply stared at me for a few seconds then slowly moseyed out.

"Is she always in this mood?" Gordon asked scratching his head.

"When you got her business card, you decided to work with someone else at the company rather than her. What do you think?"

The ignoramuses began their little exchange before they were even out of my office. Had I been a lesser a woman, I would have hurt the both of them right then and there.

After everything with those two, I didn't even bother to listen to my stomach anymore. For some asinine reason, all I could focus on was what those two were doing. Every five minutes, I was out of my office and checking to see if Luke's door was opened or closed. Opened meant Gordon wasn't in there; closed meant Luke was being a conniving little prick and stealing my work again.

Finally, after about two hours, Luke was walking Gordon to the elevator and shaking his hand. I tried to quickly and inconspicuously make my way to my office to grab my purse, but I had to make even faster moves to make it back. I knew it was quite obvious to a few that I was trying to make it to the elevator before it closed Gordon off from me, but I was on a mission.

Just as I thought I was home free, the doors closed me in them then resonantly bounced apart. I knew I'd gained the attention of everyone this time as I unsuccessfully tried to balance and slip in. Had I not been quick enough to grab the handrail toward the back of the elevator, more than my knees would have crashed to the floor.

Luckily, I managed to keep a good enough grip on my purse, so the only thing I really had to straighten was my clothes and rearrange my right shoe. Of course, all eyes were locked on me as I did this. One look in particular that I wish would have stayed off of me was Luke's.

As I waited for the doors to close, Luke and I held each other's glare, and for the life of me I couldn't understand how he thought he had the right to turn into this callous jerk after stabbing me in the back.

"Is there a reason you almost bust your complete ass to get on this elevator with me?" Gordon asked me as soon as the doors finally slid closed.

His voice irritated me, but I knew I had to keep my composure. "I'm taking my lunch, if you must know." I brushed a few strands of misplaced hair behind my ear. "This elevator always takes forever and a day. I merely did not feel like waiting."

I saw him check his watch from the corner of my eye. "Pretty late lunch, don't you think?"

"I eat when my stomach tells me to eat." My attitude slipped out just a bit, and I heard him chuckle. That's when I turned to face him completely. "I'm not going to beat around the bush. What was your little meeting about?"

"Excuse me?"

"Tell me what your meeting was about."

"Wow." He shook his head slightly. "Really?"

"That man you were just speaking with is a snake. You came to me first. I'm not about to have him ignoring my ideas on projects and stealing my clients."

"Question, are you normally grouchy when you're hungry or is this something I'll just have to get use to?"

"I want to know what your meeting was about, Gordon," I sternly told him.

"And I don't want to mix business with pleasure."

"Did he propose giving you a floating contract for your Club Cloud?"

"It's Club _Skye_ ," he corrected my with a dry look.

"Irrelevant. Give me the information I've requested." Before he could say anything, the doors chimed and opened.

"You enjoy your lunch, Neila." He smirked at me and walked off to find his car.

For a good minute, I stood on the elevator amazingly exasperated. Luke was definitely about to bring my claws out. He had absolutely no idea who he was messing with. For a second, I was convinced merely thinking about Luke had helped me lose my appetite, but my stomach nearly punched right through me. I pressed the _'_ _doors open_ _'_ button and went to find my own car and finally have my lunch.

Eleven : Neila

After coating all the wings in mustard, I began flowering them and dropping them in the grease. I wasn't even paying attention to what I was doing; I was still too caught up on Luke. I hated that he'd manage to become so relevant in my life to the point where I was thinking about him even when I wasn't in my office.

"Neila, what's up with the food?" Deklyne came hopping into the kitchen in one of her skimpy outfit.

"Do not you worry yourself about it. I'll beckon for you once the meal is prepared," I told her curtly.

"Well what's been up your ass for the past couple of days?"

I eyed her in indignation, and she just bumped her shoulder once as if clueless to her own crudeness. "Nothing has been up my . . . rear-end." I picked up a few of the dishes that were left around the kitchen and threw them into the sink. "And would it kill you or Terri to pick up after yourselves?" I fussed before letting out a frustrated huff.

"Um, seriously? What the hell is wrong with you? You do the cooking and cleaning." She frowned and looked off to the side, causing me to lose my last nerve.

How dare she act as if it was my duty to come home to clean and cook for them. "Yes. Yes, I do Deklyne, and I'm getting more than a tad fed up with this absurdity!" I spoke loudly and more harshly than I had intended, but I could not rein myself in. "You're twenty-one, and she's nineteen. You both need to grow up and take some responsibility."

She scoffed and picked up a peach out of the fruit bowl. "Well," she said before smacking a bite out of her snack, "at least I have a job and my own transportation. What the fuck does Terri do?"

I slammed a fork in the sink and turn directly to face her. "Stop cursing, Deklyne!" She just gave her signature inane gaze, and I knew I had to get out of this house. "You know what . . ." I didn't bother to finish my statement and just trotted myself out the door.

I didn't feel like being bothered with either of them at the moment. I needed to find somewhere I could go to forget about everything and everybody that had begun to exacerbate my entire mental state.

I'd climbed into my car, and I'd driven for only God knows how long before I found myself pulling into some random parking lot. About a good ten minutes went by before I finally stepped out of my car and noticed something had led me to Beiley's. I hadn't been here in ages, but my order was still the same after all of these years—a basket of barbeque wings and fries.

"Yeah, can I just get whatever she's having?" I heard a male asking as the chair across from me slid out.

I was in the middle of sucking the sauce off of my fingers while simultaneously bringing a new wing up for destruction, but my previous euphoria was lost once my eyes landed on Gordon.

"No problem." My waitress said as she took his menu away from him. "I'll bring your drink right back, also."

I could only glare for a few seconds at this imbecile as he smiled his thanks as if all was well in the world. "What are you doing here?" I finally asked and dropped my wing before I'd even taken a bite.

He let out a chuckle before lightly drumming his fingers across the table. "I'm about to join you for lunch." The way he studied my lunch made my eye twitch, and surely enough his hand slide closer to my basket before he finally grabbed it to pull it closer to him. "Damn, I should have told her to give me the seasoned fries." He picked at my fries before eating a few. "These good though."

Something began to build in my bones, but I prided myself on never losing my composure. I took one deep breath that did little to nothing, but it was all I could give at the moment. "I did not invite you to come sit with me," I told him, desperately trying to figure out why my days seemed to always take a turn for the worst.

"I know that." He stuffed a few more of my fries into his mouth. "You just looked so lonely. I couldn't have that."

"Lonely?" I frowned at his lowbrow assumption. "I am by myself because I prefer not to be harried by anyone."

A slick smile drew itself across his face, and my frown grew deeper. "I'm not just anyone, baby."

I stared at him, not understanding what he was trying to accomplish by staying where he wasn't wanted. "I'm really not getting this." I slapped his hand on his third attempt to steal my fries. "Stop that. You just ordered your own."

I knew the sting he felt on the back of his hand was honest because I felt my own efforts, but I could deal because of the satisfaction I felt. "Shit, girl," he groaned, nursing his hand. "Why do y'all hit so hard? Just tell me you don't want to share."

"I don't want to share," I said dryly as I started gathering my things. "I don't want to share my food. I don't want to share my time, and I don't want to share your company."

He let out his little chuckle again, and I threw him a side-eye as he leaned closer to me. "You don't mean that." Before I could respond the waitress returned with his drink, and he asked her to make his fries seasoned before sending her on her way. "So what's this all about anyway? Why come out on a Saturday by yourself?"

"Did I not previously relay to you that I wanted nothing more than to be alone instead of troubled by Homo sapiens?"

He gave me a lazy smile as if he found something amusing then he looked to make himself more comfortable. "Well," he shrugged, "I was supposed to be meeting a young lady here, but I canceled on her when I saw you." He smiled wider at me with a strange look in his eyes. "You should feel special."

On reaction, my eye twitched at his buffoonery. "I should what?" The thought to react how Dani would in this situation graced my mind, but I thought better of it. "You can climb right back into the asylum you came from, sir." He laughed at me, and it took everything in me not to hit him with something. "Gordon, I really do not want you here."

He chuckled lightly until he saw how serious I was. I saw a small frown forming on his face, and he seemed to become unsure of himself. "Damn, tell me how you really feel."

"I believe I just did." I pushed my basket further away from me and threw myself back in my seat. "Who just invites themself to sit at a person's table?"

"I was just—"

"Not only that, you tell me I should feel special because you canceled on someone else." I folded my arms and cocked my head to the side as I began my lecture. "That was utterly selfish and rude of you. What if she was looking forward to having lunch with you—even though I don't see how that would be possible. You are far from good company."

"Yo, first of all, I was only playing with you. I have better manners than to treat a person like that. Second, you don't know me to talk so much shit about me." His attitude was completely distasteful and so unappealing.

"You know what the problem is with that statement? You're telling me I don't know you, yet you seem to put yourself in my business every chance you get."

"It's not even like that. I see you quite often. I just figured it would be rude not to say anything to you."

I scoffed and rearranged myself in my seat. "No, that would be a blessing."

He didn't speak to me for many moments. In fact his food arrived without him speaking, but he did watch me with a deep frown for most of that time.

"What?" I asked him with my anger seeping out. "Why are you just staring at me? You've been staring at me for at least five minutes. What is your issue?"

"I'm trying to figure out why you don't have a single cordial bone in your body. Were you raised to be bitchy or did you figure that shit out all on your own?"

"Excuse me?" I was a bit caught off guard by his remark.

"You make absolutely no sense with the way you talk to people. What the hell is up your ass?"

I had to take a second to absorb everything he was saying to me. That was the second time someone had asked me such an ugly question. "You must be out of your mind, speaking to me as if you have no manners or a prevalent vocabulary."

He frowned and gave me and analyzing once over. "And what are you? Do you even pay attention to the things that leave your mouth?"

"All of this you're saying to me is irrelevant. I've told you plenty of times to remove yourself from my table. If you'd listen to me just once you wouldn't have to hear anything more that I'd have to say."

"I can honestly say that I've never met someone like you. It's really amazing."

"Glad I could assist. Is it time for you to leave now?" I folded my hands on the table and stared him down.

"Can you please tell me what I've done to you? I refuse to believe people are just naturally this evil."

"Because I want nothing to do with you I'm evil?" I finally pulled my basket back in front of me and began eating. His presence was becoming troublesome, and I needed the food to give me energy so I could fight off the headache I knew he was about to cause. "You have issues. Your feelings are a little too feminine, Gordon."

"Are you serious?" His tone was incredulous, and I couldn't understand what he did not understand about my statement.

"Are you? What did you expect to happen? You're not a friend of mine, and you don't respect boundaries. If you're going to be bold enough to sit at my table—uninvited, you'd better be ready to hear exactly what I have to say because of it."

He took a moment before he replied. "I wasn't trying to step on your boundaries. I thought it would have been nice to have lunch together since we were both alone." I made a noise with my mouth as I stuffed fries into it. "I don't know a lot of people here yet, and my daughter's not here with me. I just—"

I began coughing and he just looked at me. "Your daughter?" He nodded, and I gave a disbelieving laugh. "Please tell me you are not someone's father?" He tried to say something else, but I cut him off. "Of course you're someone's father. Men don't know what abstinence or safe sex is. The problem with that is you imbeciles don't want to and don't know how to be fathers. Tragically, my mother can attest to that with four prime examples."

"I'm a great father, Neila. You really need to think before open your mouth," he spoke crassly.

"You're a great father?" I gave him a knowing smile. "You said you just moved here, am I correct?"

"Yeah. So what?"

"Where does your daughter live?"

He hesitated before he answered, and I knew I had him. "Miami."

"Exactly. Miami, clear across the state. How ever are you being a great father from such a distance?" I posed the question so bluntly, he had to take a minute and a drink just to collect himself enough to respond.

"She's moving up here with me." He finally told me in an unshaken tone, and had I not known better, I would have believed he cared for his child.

"A great father, who actually loves his daughter, wouldn't have moved so far without his child with him."

"Don't you ever question my love for my daughter." His eyes were hard, and I had to search them to make sure I didn't see a threat in them.

Still, his attitude didn't change my initial thought. "I don't only question it, I don't believe it."

"Neila, you keep"—his voice was loud, but he cut himself off and looked around before continuing. "Neila, I really think you have problems. I mean you attack my personality, my business, and now how I care for my child."

"I have problems because I don't hide the truth?" I asked him, fully confused by him now.

"That's your bias ass opinion, but you don't know me."

"Please do not give me that offal. I've met so many variations of you, it's quite ridiculous. If you've met one, you've met them all." He narrowed his eyes at me, but he wouldn't speak. "Let's just do this. Okay. Let's do it," I said with a smile on my lips as I sat up a bit.

"Do what?" he questioned, and I thought I heard enmity in his tone.

"You have a child, right?" I asked, but I didn't wait for a response. "You're probably still involved with her mother, I'm sure. You've probably ran that _'_ _I'm new in town_ _'_ line on a few women already, and they're all just dying to show you around—their bedroom, no doubt. What else?"

"That's how you see a complete stranger?"

I ignored his attempt at hiding from the truth. "Let's not forget that you work at a club. How many loose women have thrown themselves at you for free drinks and VIP access?"

"I've lost count," he told me with an air of brazenness.

"You have money. How many women have you _bought_ under the guise of splurging on them because they're _special_?"

"I don't rent women."

"Seriously, Gordon. How many women do you already have begging for your time?"

"How is that any of your business?"

"It's not," I told him coldly. "And I don't plan on making anything of your personal life my business. I will not be a notch on a belt, a backup, or the other woman because I do not fall for the games you men play."

"Who said I was playing games?"

"Why are you at my table?"

"I was hoping to have a pleasant conversation."

"If you considered me to be some hideous woman would you have come over here to have a conversation with me?"

"Probably not." He shrugged and smiled. "But at least I'm honest."

"You know what that tells me? You want something from me that I'm surely not giving you. You didn't look at me and say, _'Oh wow, you look as if you'd make a pretty decent friend mate. Let's go watch a hockey game._ ' You saw an attractive woman and were off to the races. Therefore, there is no reason for you to be here wasting time and resources for a filthy romp. It's as simple as that, Gordon."

He didn't respond for a while, then he just shook his head and tossed a few bills on the table. "That's fucked up that you think you have every man pegged. Honestly, it wasn't your looks that brought me to your table either. I kind of have a thing for crazy women." I gave him a side-eye, but he didn't give much of a facial response back. "I hope you enjoy the rest of your lunch."

"Thank you. I really— _really_ do appreciate your departure," I said, rolling my eyes.

I looked at his plate after he was finally gone and noticed he hadn't even touched it. I thought it was so funny that he couldn't handle the hot seat, but that was typical of the average man.

Right as the waitress came back to check on me, I noticed Gordon left more than enough money to pay for his meal as well as mine. I decided to leave that for her tip, paid for both meals, and I took his meal to give to Terri.

## Twelve : Deklyne

"Maurice, I'm not interested in having this same argument with you," I huffed out over the phone after reversing out of my parking spot and navigating to the light at the plaza's exit.

"I'm not trying to argue." His voice was hard, and I knew he was about to blowup on me.

"So we can hang up then," I spat at him.

"Deklyne, you went through with it! You knew I didn't want you to, but you did it anyway!"

"I told you I was!" I screamed and took my hand off the wheel. If I could have strangled him through the phone, I really would have. I actually tried to attack my phone, but I came back to reality when someone honked at me because of the green light I hadn't noticed. "Look, Maurice, I'm trying to drive right now, so I need to get off the phone."

"No! You're not going to keep ignoring me. You need to talk to me."

"I don't need to do a damn thing," I snapped. I could just imagine the look on his face right now. He was probably ten seconds away from crying, and he had the nerve to act so tough over the phone.

"Do you even regret it a little?" he asked almost sounding disgusted.

I just chuckled because he was showing too much of his sensitivity. "No," I plainly told him before my anger got the better of me again. "Why would I regret it? I don't need you questioning me, jackass. This topic is so pointless. Do you hear me? Pointless! I'm hanging up!"

I'd done the one thing my mother should have done for me, and he wanted to act like an idiot because of it. He knew I'd be a piece of shit mother. It ran in the family, so I really couldn't understand why this was still even a big deal to him.

He wouldn't speak for a second or two, and I should have just hung up. I would have hung up had my common sense been functioning at that moment.

"One day you'll regret everything that you've done to me, Deklyne," he told me in the most pathetic voice I'd ever heard him talk in.

"What have I ever done to you? I've done shit for myself. I've done shit to look out for myself. If you were affected by that, that's your problem, not mine."

"Stop being so cold!" he growled, and his anger was a little shocking to me.

I'd made him angry plenty of times before, but he always had a weakness about him. What I heard from him just now sounded a bit threatening, and that was something that he had no business sounding like to me. For a minute, I couldn't even say anything in response to him.

"Deklyne, you're so messed up, and you don't even see it. Why can't you try to get over—"

"Don't. Alright?" I flashed, knowing exactly where he was trying to take the conversation.

It never failed with him. If he couldn't get me to see his point with his weakness or his anger he went into his so-called insight he thought he had on my life. I found it so annoying how he felt he could give me talks about my life when he was the one lapping behind me at every turn.

"You're still hurt—" he tried to continue like I hadn't just warned him.

"Shut up! Fuck! Why does everything have to turn into an argument, sex, or therapy with you? It's getting so old!"

"You make it this way because you won't get over your past!"

"Who cares! I come from a shitty background. Big deal, Dr. Phil! Everybody has a story, even you. The difference is I survived mine. You're still stuck in some delusion."

"Dek—"

"Bye, Maurice," I said sharply before hanging up in his face.

He could really work my nerve like nobody else, and I knew it was long overdue that I got rid of him. I just couldn't cut him off yet. I had no clue why, but I just couldn't—even after he'd do something like this to get me all worked up.

"Fuck you, Maurice!" I hollered at my phone that had been thrown on my passenger seat.

He was a disease that I just couldn't get rid of, and he knew just what he was doing when he called me. He wanted me to freak out about absolutely nothing. He was an asshole! He always threw that garbage out about loving me, but this is how he acts towards me? What gave him the right to try to get me together, like he didn't need his own help?

He knew I hated to be put in this head space. He knew I hated hearing him bring up anything about me that he had no business talking about, and talking as if I couldn't get to him just the same way. If he was standing in front of me I would have put him in his own fucking head space. That was one thing he should have already learned about me. I was a master at putting people in the head space I wanted them in.

I let out a heavy sigh before making a U-turn. My head was starting to pound, and I knew the only way to fix things was to get heads on the right playing field. I already had an idea of how I would deal with Maurice, but that was going to take a little extra work for another day. My sisters would have been nice substitutes, but I had an even better—more like _fresher_ idea.

About fifteen minutes later, I was parked and walking up to Gordon's front door. I knocked as hard and for as long as I could until he finally snatched it open.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!" The anger on his face was an immediate turn on, but his voice startled me a bit.

I wasn't used to hearing his anger come out like that, but it was funny that knocking like a mad woman could piss him off more than calling him a bitch could.

"Deklyne, girl—" He took a second to try to calm down and rubbed his hand down his face. "I thought you were Vi—never mind." He licked his lips as he looked me up and down with a slight frown, and I could tell he was still trying to calm himself down. "Wha—what happened? Why you feel the need to try and knock my damn door down?"

I couldn't help but laugh on the inside at the way he was acting: bottling up his anger, trying to pretend I couldn't get under his skin. We both knew I could. He wasn't the only one who could piss a bitch off.

"I'm trying to understand who gave you permission to go back and change things I've already confirmed and put down payments on," I fussed, already sprinting out of the gate.

His frown grew deeper, and his stance straighten a little. "Say what?"

"You hired me to make decisions, dammit let me make them." I got a little louder, gearing up for him to explode at any minute. "I'm not just a pretty face, but apparently you are. Leaving things to me is what's going to make this thing successful. Thinking you know this city will give you the same lackluster results your two co-owners made you suffer with last time. Got it?"

He stepped forward and pointed at me, and the look in his eyes was priceless. "First of all, that first party was not lackluster. I grossed more than two of your top five clubs here, and I haven't even officially opened. Second of all, I hired you to work for me, right or wrong?"

I cocked an eyebrow at him and threw my head slightly to the right. "You hired me to do a fucking job."

"You"—I cut him off by pushing him into his house and slamming the door behind me. "Dekly—"

I pushed him again, walked around him, and threw my purse on his plush couch. "If you wanted to do it, you shouldn't have hired me. That's something you need to understand! I mean any person with common sense knows when they hire someone, that person is the one who's supposed to do the job. Right or wrong?" I threw his question back at him.

He shook his head and flopped on his couch, leaning his head back. "This shit is unreal," he said to the ceiling like some retard. "This shit is unreal." It was quiet for a while as I tried to think of a way to drill it into his head. Before I could, he finally looked at me and said, "Are you really over here fussing at me because of decisions I made for my own party?"

"Gordon, this isn't that hard to understand. Let me do this." I slapped my hand on my chest. I was being dramatic, but so what? "Last time it was your friends who kept getting out of line, and you even had to apologize for them. Why would you turn around and do the same thing?"

"I had good reason," he fussed and used his right hand to punch his left palm. I folded my arms and shifted all my weight to my left foot in reaction to his little gesture. "A good reason, that had you answered you damn phone you would've known."

"What reason!" I blared louder than necessary, threw my hands down, and stomped my foot. Gordon was going to get the best of my attitude because I was not leaving here until he had the biggest headache.

"Man, check your messages!" He jumped up from his couch and rushed into his kitchen.

"Gordon, you bastard! Get back here!"

I followed him and came in on him pouring a glass of apple juice. The complete irritation on his face was starting to make me lose my focus a bit. His jaw was clenched, veins bulged out of his neck, and even the way he gripped the juice bottle and his cup was sexy as hell. It wasn't long before I started fantasizing about all the things I wanted him to do to me on his kitchen table.

"Damn, do you have any manners?" I finally asked after he was almost done with his glass. My tone had relaxed so much, and if he wasn't a complete idiot, he would have heard the trace of lust I had in it.

He just glared at me, and the idea to piss him off was slowly starting to fade from my mind. "Excuse me?" he asked, still with his annoyed tone.

"I am your guest. Don't you think it's only right for you to offer me a drink?" He was quiet for a few more seconds, and I would have given just about anything for him to say exactly what was on his mind at that moment. I knew he wanted to curse me out.

"Would you," he began slowly and trying to keep himself calm, "like something to drink?"

"That's better," I said, taking a few steps closer to him. "How about a glass of cranberry juice."

"Sorry," he said with a squint in his eyes, "fresh out."

I wagged my finger at him before saying, "Poor hospitality, Gordon. You should anticipate what your company is going to want."

He glared at me again, and a sly smile spread across my face as I watched him stewing in his thoughts. "You two are too much alike, and you're lucky my mama, sisters, _and_ five aunties taught me patience for women, with y'all psychotic asses."

"Who am I like?" I asked, choosing to ignore all of his extra mumbo jumbo.

He shook his head and downed his drink. "Nobody." After tossing his glass in the sink he grabbed another one from his cabinet. "Apple juice, Dr. Pepper, or milk. Pick one."

"Attitude does not make me feel welcomed."

"Pick one," he angrily told me before I even had my sentence fully out of my mouth.

"Sheesh. Pepper please?" He fixed my drink and glared at me as I sipped it. I laughed at him, and he lifted an eyebrow at me. "What, Gordon?"

"The hell else can I help you with?"

"Oh yeah, I also wanted to tell you that the change you made was a great idea. It opens up a whole new look and more opportunities."

The look on his face was priceless, and it was the icing on my day. I honestly didn't care about any changes he made to what was going on. It was his party, plus he did it instead of having me waste time going back and changing random shit like his dumbass friends did.

"Deklyne, get the hell out!" he finally let loose, and I let out another fit of laughter. He snatched my glass from me and started practically dragging me out. "Take your ass home, little girl."

"Aww, come on, Gordon? I just wanted to tease you."

"Get out," he ordered me with a small push towards the door. His friendliness still hadn't returned and even though I loved seeing him angry, I had to stay on good terms with him.

"Wait, Gordon. Wait." I tried to spin away from him still nudging me towards the door, but he just picked me up and carried me the rest of the way. "My purse! Can I get my purse?" He set me at the door, and when I tried to follow him he yelled _'Stay'_ at me. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, but I didn't move from my spot. "You know, you really need to lighten up."

"Note taken," he said dryly and tossed my purse hard as hell at my chest.

It knocked a bit of wind out of me, and if I was positive my punch would have actually hurt him, I would have hit him. Instead I just gave him a poker face for a few seconds before sighing.

"Are you meeting me at my house for our next meeting?" I fidgeted with my purse, knowing everything was in there but needing time to get him to calm the fuck down.

"What next meeting?" he asked, throwing his arms out a bit.

His attitude was starting to get ridiculous. I'd already told him I was playing, so he needed to relax. I didn't want to say that to him just yet though. "I have some venues lined up, but I want to have your input first."

"You haven't picked a venue?"

"Uhh, no. I think I just said that."

"When, Deklyne?"

"When what? When was I going to pick one—?"

"When is the damn meeting, Deklyne!"

"Good Lord! Will you calm down?" We both just stared at each other, and I if didn't care about my check, I would have hurt his feelings just then. "The shit was not that serious."

"The meeting," he said as if he didn't care about anything else I had to say.

"My house, Friday at two o'clock."

"Fine," he said opening the door and again nudging me.

I knocked his hand away, and he sighed. "Do you even know my address?" I asked him with my expression telling him he was being a complete idiot.

"Send me a text."

"Gordon, will you please stop being a mean man?"

"How am I being mean? I'm irritated. I'm being an irritated man."

I couldn't help but laughed at him. I now thought the entire thing was funny, but he just continued to glare at me. I finally wrapped my arms around his neck. More than likely, he was just like Maurice: sex or the thought of sex was all it would take to calm him down. Men could never think straight long enough to stay mad when they got horny.

"Didn't we already establish how things were going to be between us?"

"I must have missed that shit," he said, keeping his body stiff and his eyes full of annoyance.

"Gordon, you know what happens when we get together. This is nothing new."

"Because it's already old."

"Aww Gordon, come on? You do shit too, you know?"

"I don't purposely piss you off." His guard was letting down slightly, but I knew he was still mad at me.

"And what about yesterday?"

He waited for a few seconds then smiled and chuckled a little. "That was funny," he smiled again, and we both stared at each other for a few seconds, "and payback."

I laughed, knowing that he'd already forgotten about me pissing him off. He was too easy. "So there. This is what we do, Gordon."

"But you only piss me off so you can apologize and we can hug and make up. You must like rubbing on me."

I actually had to laugh at his nerve because I knew he thought he was telling the truth. "Yeah, that's right. I love rubbing on you."

"Well apologize. You can't skip that shit just because you want to put your titties on my chest."

I pushed him a bit and hit him causing him to laugh. "Whatever."

"Apologize," he demanded, but he had a small smile on his face, and his voice was nowhere near as angry as it just was.

"No," I said with a frown and tried to exit.

He grabbed my arm to stop me, and I noticed the confused frown on his face. "What?"

I shrugged at him. "Clearly you're over it. We hugged. We laughed. You're over it."

"I still want my damn apology."

"So?" I shrugged at him again, and he shook his head but didn't say anything. I didn't need anything else from him, so I walked out and made my way to my car. "See you Friday. Don't be late," I said, opening the door "And I guarantee I'm going to piss you off."

He just stood in his doorway smiling and shaking his head, and I couldn't do anything but laugh as I pulled off. That was the perfect way to end this crappy day I was having. It would have been better if I didn't have to worry about my damn check.

## Thirteen : Dani

I'd already rang Tavaris' doorbell minutes ago, and I could hear people moving around inside his house. I was just about ready to knock the damn door down myself when he finally pulled the door back. I stared at him, my arms crossed and nose flared. He knew waiting was something I never did.

"You want to explain what the fuck took you so long to open the door?"

"Watch your mouth around my daughter," was all he said to me.

My eyes landed on her as she held her head down, and I nudged the side of her face a little. "Don't hold your head like that. The hell is wrong with you?"

She quickly snapped her head up, with a crazed look in her eyes. "Sorry, Mommy. We're still going, right?"

"Alexis, go say bye to Macy."

"I already said bye, Daddy—"

"Alexis, now." She pouted, but she did as Tavaris told her. "If you ever speak to her like that again and I find out, you will regret it. The only reason I'm letting her go anywhere with you is because she's been crying and begging, but if you do anything—and I mean anything to hurt her, you better not let me catch you. Do you understand me?"

I smiled at him, truly amazed. "Tavaris, I'm warning you right now, sweetheart. Don't think I'm going to let this little attitude of yours go on for long."

"Go to hell, Dani. You just make sure you have my child back home by six o'clock."

"I told you she might be home by eight."

"I'm telling you have her here by six. You know damn well the second one of your fuck buddies call you, you'll be dropping her off early anyway." I laughed at him this time. If only he knew.

"First of all, I never drop my plans whenever anyone calls me."

"You don't recall bailing on your daughter the first time you'd seen her in a year just a few days ago?"

I gave a small chortle. One thing I knew about Tavaris was he hated to know what I did with other men, and I thought because of his attitude, he deserved to be punished. "I'd planned on coming for the girl earlier, sweetheart." I shrugged. "Things ran late with Gram. His dick was more than I thought it would be." I smiled at the darkness I saw forming in his eyes. "Then Victor let me know his cook had finished my meal. You should have just shut the fuck then the girl could have spent that quality time with me like you use to always whine about." I hadn't spent the day with either of those place fillers, but I knew that would sting worse than fessing up about a visit to the bitch who spawned me.

"You know your daughter's name is Alexis, don't you?" I didn't say anything in response to him due to irritation from his remark. "How is it possible that you don't disgust your own self?"

"It's impossible for me to ever feel that way about myself, sweetheart. I was taught a long time ago to accept who I am."

"I'm ready, Mommy." The girl pushed passed Tavaris, but he just eyed me.

I blew him a kiss, and within minutes, the girl was buckled in my car, and we were on our way to meet Gordon. It took us less than fifteen minutes to meet him at his office. He was still running around, talking to different contractors and shouting at the lazy ones. He finally noticed us, only after I knocked a few tools on the floor.

"Finally," I said, walking over to him and slightly tugging the girl by her arm. "I've been standing over there for ten minutes."

"It was only one, Mommy. Wait." She looked down at her watch and tried to count. "It was a minute when . . . How long is a minute again, Mommy?"

"If you were taught once, it's irresponsible to forget it," I told her and wiggled her arm a bit to shut her up.

"It's sixty seconds, so when you count all the up to sixty, that's one minute," Gordon decided to tell her as he smiled down at her, and he pissed me the hell off in the process. He still hadn't even spoken to me, yet he said something to her when she wasn't even talking to him? "You know how to tell time, baby girl?"

"My daddy bought me this watch yesterday so it can beep at six o'clock. Six o'clock is important today."

"It is? Why is it important?" He was now squatting down to her level, and all this extra shit he was doing for this girl was getting ridiculous. He did not need to impress me by being nice to her.

"I don't know," she said with a shrugged, and he laughed. "What?" she giggled, and I'd had just about enough of this whole scene. "You want to see my watch? It's really pretty." She held it closer to his face and began describing all of the different gadgets.

"Don't bother him with that, sweetheart," I said, but Gordon still held her hand, pretending to listen to her never-ending description. "Sweetheart." I pulled her arm and nudged her away from Gordon.

"Dani, she's not bothering me. I promise." He finally stood up and smiled at me, and I was ready to curse him out. What the hell was he thinking, ignoring me for as long as he did? He was so lucky my resolution this year was to think before I acted on pure emotion.

"She can be a handful on some days," I simply told him as I eyed the girl.

"Just like mine." Right after he spoke, someone dropped something that sounded damn expensive, and Gordon didn't hesitate to make the guy turn beat red in embarrassment after the things that were said to him. "Dani, I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have been talking like that in front of your daughter." He turned back to the workers. "It's just . . . These idiots were supposed to have this done two months ago, and that fuc—messed up our plans. So we had—we just had to change a lot around because of them. And don't even get me started on how much money they're costing us."

"Hey, you're under a lot of stress. I understand."

"I'm sorry, Alexis," he peeked at her again, and she giggled that little giggle of hers.

"For what?" She smiled, and I knew she was enjoying the attention Gordon was showing her.

"Those bad words I just said. Don't ever say them, okay?"

"Okay," she dragged her word out as if she was agreeing to something she really didn't want to.

"So what is this?" I waved my hand between the two of them. "Is this you bonding with her?"

"I hope I'm not overstepping my boundaries?"

"No, it's fine," I decided to tell him, but I was more than ready to set him in place if he decided to keep it up.

"So, uhh . . ." He looked around his space and then ushered us into another room that actually looked finished. "What brings you by?"

"You're always telling me how you've been skipping lunch, and how you miss spending time with your girl. So I figured I'd let you take me and this little one out to lunch."

"Well, that was . . . That is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me."

I frowned at his sarcasm. It definitely was not cute. "Don't get slick, young man."

He smiled and stepped closer to me before running a finger under my chin. "Please, you are not that much older than me, woman."

"Anyway," I felt my agitation with him dwindling, and I knew it probably had something to do with the smile in his eyes, "let's go. I'm hungry, and I know she's hungry."

"Mommy, I thought we were going to the movies—"

"Your daddy said he was taking you, sweetheart. Today we're having lunch with Gordon." The girl was so close to a smack, but I was not about to let her upset me and ruin my mood for the day.

"We can watch a movie if she wants. It's not a problem with me. I just need to take a rain check on this, though. I didn't know you two were going to be stopping by."

"Excuse me?" My hand found its way to my hip as I watched and waited for him to correct himself.

"I appreciate the thought, but I have so much to do, and I'm the only one here that's willing to work. My partners are—"

"Gordon, I did not do all of this just for you to stand here and tell me ' _some other time_.' That's not acceptable."

"I'm sorry, Dani, but I just can't—"

"You have two choices, have lunch with me now or forget about talking to me at any time in the near future."

"Dani, that's not fair. Hayley is already looking forward to having a new friend. That's one of the only reasons she's okay with the move."

"Your choice, Dad."

I was almost offended that he was more concerned about having a friend for his girl more than he was concerned with being able to talk to me again. He was strange to say the least, but I sure as hell wasn't done with him yet, regardless of why he wanted to see me.

"You are a cold woman, Danielle Heart."

"No, Gordon White. I simply get what I want."

He smirked at me, and soon we all began our trip to Little Mikey's Play House. Once we finally got there, Gordon ordered a pizza and bought the girl plenty of coins for her to play the kiddy arcade games. After watching her screaming and playing with a few other boys and girls for far too long, we found a table and waited for our pizza.

"She is so cute, man. Hayley will love her. Both of them just as crazy."

"Good, they can keep each other company and out of our hair."

He laughed at me. "You sound like you don't even like being around her for long. Shit, my baby stay up under me. You don't know how bad I wanted to hurt her mama when she came up here." He shook his head, and thankfully he changed the subject. He was just about to bring the worst out of me with all this talk about a bitch I didn't even care about. "But a little heads up that you were coming through would have been nice."

"I run on no one's schedule, sweetheart. When I want to do something, I do it."

"I see." He watched me with a smirk on his face, and just then our pizza came. "I am actually glad I'm here, though."

"I figured this would be something you'd like. You can't stop talking about your girl."

After I said that, I had to think about what the hell had come out of my mouth. Why did I care what he would like, honestly? Why did I decide to pick the girl up so he could have someone to dote over? All of this I was doing was so over the top and not even needed.

What a man wanted was never important. That was the golden rule. He would give up everything that he'd claimed was important in a heartbeat; it's been proven countless times. That is why my only duty was to receive until I was done, not find out what the hell he likes.

Thinking about my actions further, I literally made myself sick to my stomach. After talking to this man over the phone I hadn't been able to get his ass to offer to take me out, and now here I was using tricks to get him here with me. What part of the game was this shit? Like hell this would ever happen again.

"So you figure you can substitute my daughter with yours?" he asked, pulling me from my self-chastising thoughts.

"Hell no. My girl will never play substitute for anybody." He laughed again, but I was dead ass serious.

I may have foolishly allowed her to play a part right now, but she was far from anybody's substitute. I'd made sure to put the girl some place where she would have a chance to be something better than a substitute, a person's low expectations, or a carbon copy.

"I hear you. Ain't no substitutes for my baby either. Sometimes I feel like my baby girl is all I have in this world. We got a bond no one can come between, you know." He looked at me as if I was supposed to say something, and there was a moment of silence because I had nothing to say to that. "You know what I mean though, right? It's like that for every parent and their child . . . just family in general really."

"If only," I found myself mumbling after scoffing. He only looked at me quizzically, and at first I wasn't going to reply. His eyes though, they kind of made it easier to talk. "Not all families are . . . functional. Families are just made up of people, people who have issues which some don't know how to deal with."

"I mean, I know there are some folks out there who could use some help."

"There's more than some," I countered. "Most folks don't know what it means to care for a person, let alone build a bond with them," I schooled him.

"That's not true," he told me with a small smile and shake of his head. "Not most folks."

"How do you figure? Look at the world today. People would rather read blogs and pay for magazines that's willing to throw dirt on people just because some sad bitch with too much time on her hands needs something to make her sad ass feel better about her nothing existence. The short comings of another person's life is considered _entertainment_ to people."

"That's cold," he said with a laugh. "Some people are just nosy. That doesn't mean they don't care about others."

"Countless young, unarmed, black boys are gunned down and the country splits because of race. Yeah people care," I said sarcastically. "Too many people, black and white, see situations like those as a battle of the races, a chance to put _'_ _the others_ _'_ in their place."

"Okay, but—"

"Then you have the President. He's half black and the government shuts down because they don't like a statute that was already signed into law since 2010—which, ironically, they initially came up with."

"Please let's not—"

"Everybody was bitching because we're now _'_ _forced_ _'_ to get insurance or pay a penalty. However, it was the Republicans back in 1989—the conservative Heritage Foundation to be exact—who came up with this idea to have individuals take responsibility for their own insurance because they were sick of the government footing the bill every time someone needed emergency care but couldn't pay for it. So what did they do? tried to make every individual get their own health care. For years this idea has been tried to be passed by the Republicans, and now because President Obama has passed it suddenly they want to help everyone believe it's the worst thing to ever happen, and you bitches shut down the whole government because of the idea you came up with was finally passed? Nigga please!"

"Damn, woman. Calm down. I'm not talking politics. Politicians clearly don't care about the people, Obama included."

"It's _President_ Obama," I helped clarify for him. "You a Uncle Tom now?"

"Hey," he said, seeming a bit offended. "I voted for the brother, but I'm a black man waiting for Obama not to be scared to focus on black people's problems. So called American problems don't always include black people's problems. He's done things for the Gay community, which I applaud. He's taking steps to make America healthier, regardless if people see it or not. He's a person pushing for tolerance and maturity amongst everyone. On the flip side, he's given his words and time to visit sights of tragedies as long as they weren't heavily focused on blacks yet only given ' _let's come together, heal, and move on_ ' speeches when there's outrage from something that's happened with the black community. Not to mention he hasn't said boo about the daily madness of Chicago, the place he should know the best. He's the only president who—"

"He's the only president in which parties have promised and actively mired almost everything he's tried to do, regardless of it previously being their idea or it being a smart idea. On the flip side, anything that we can all agree isn't too smart they don't mind his push for it. Let's be honest, Mr. President is not a king. He is not all powerful. Anything he wants and tries to do does have to be agreed upon."

"Like I said," he huffed and squinted his eyes at me as if he was bored with the topic already. "I'm not talking politics. I'm talking about everyday people. I'm talking about family. People—Families do care about one another. We form bonds. It's human nature."

"If you say so." I rolled my eyes at him, and I heard him chuckle.

"What about your family, your sisters? You have a bond with them don't you?" I gave him a look letting him know how idiotic he sounded by asking such a dumb question. "Exactly. And you care about them, I'm sure." He shrugged lightly before brushing the tip of my nose with his pointer. "I'm also sure you're the most caring out of your sisters. You're the only one who seems to know how to hold a conversation with someone without insulting them, even if you disagree. You don't seem to have a problem with letting your hair down and having fun and inviting—hold up, demanding that others come have fun with you." He smiled at me and moved some of my hair behind my ear. "You clearly have a big heart, Danielle. I can definitely see that."

"Really?" I asked him playfully as I smirked at him.

I was trying to keep his words from getting to me, but I'd never in my life heard anyone speak to me that way. The only compliments I'd gotten to date all had something to do with my body, mainly my ass. Hell, I wasn't complaining because I loved that attention. It was just strange to hear him say those things—especially thinking I was the most caring out of my sisters. You ask the right person and I'm the coldest bitch you'd ever want to meet.

"You don't even know me or my sisters," I finally said to him, almost feeling myself wanting to believe what he'd said.

"Call it a hunch." He leaned back a little. "Neila is too damn uptight and rude as hell, and I could go on for days about Deklyne. She's a cute girl and maybe sometimes she can be fun, but that girl knows how to work a nerve. I mean working with her is just too stressful at times. Maybe she—"

"Gordon," I cut him off because I could feel the conversation about to shift to a direction that I didn't care for, so I found it necessary to nip things in the bud once and for all.

"Yes, sexy?" There was a smirk on his face and a smile in his eyes as he watched me and took a sip of his drink.

"I want you to pay close attention to me, sweetheart." I pushed my drink away from me, and he put his drink down after taking another sip. I let the silence between us build for a while, and he just sat there, waiting for me to speak. "The next time we go out, you better be on your A-game." He was about to speak, but I put a finger on his lips to quiet him. The smirk continued to tease his lips, and he sat on mute again. "I don't plan; I experience, and what I experience can be nothing short of glamorous and upscale." I finally moved my finger before I continued. "I don't wait, and I am never an afterthought. Is everything understood, sweetheart?"

"Well damn, should I be writing this down?" he asked with a chuckle.

"If you have a bad memory because I don't like repeating myself," I told him, not giving him even the smallest hint of humor.

He gave me full eye contact for a while, and despite wanting to make sure he understood all guidelines, I felt that same weird feeling in my stomach. However, I was annoyed that I was letting it affect me.

"You come with a lot of rules," he finally said charmingly.

"No, sweetheart. I just have standards that I will never lower."

He smiled at me, and I couldn't deny that his eyes were about to sweep me up in a daydream. "I can't even lie. You really make a brother want to step his game up."

"As well you should." I took a sip of my drink before turning to scan for the girl. I hadn't heard her giggle in minutes. As I thought that, I found her jumping in and out of the ball pin. "Oh, and one more thing," I said, putting my attention back on Gordon.

"What's that, baby?" He grabbed my hand and only intensified the tempting air he had about him.

"When you're with me," I spoke, deciding to play along with his lead, "I'm the only thing that should be on your mind. I don't spend my time talking about things or people," I paused to let that part sink in, "who have no relevance to me."

He chuckled and broke our eye contact only for a second. "Fair enough."

Again he played his game with his eyes, but I felt I was now pleasingly close to mastering my control. He was not about to swoon me. Many have tried, and though he'd seemed to have more of an advantage than others, no man would ever succeed at swooning me.

"But I have a question," he finally said.

"Yes?"

He moved close to my ear and whispered, "Is this your way of letting me know we're close to dating?"

A frown instantly came to my face as I pushed him back. That's all it took for him to switch me from hot to cold.

"Absolutely not. I don't date, Gordon," I told him, fixing up my clothes, as if they needed it. "I don't mind having acquaintances and a few friends, but that's as far as it goes."

"I see."

Something in his eyes told me he didn't believe me, but that would only turn out to hurt him in the end. He wouldn't be the first to think he was that one who could change my mind. It was actually pretty funny to watch them try so vigorously to get me to fall for them.

Despite that, he made sure to be on his best behavior for the rest of our time together, making sure everything he did was pleasing to me and up to my standards. I thought he was going to be a little harder than most to break in, but he was learning at a decent pace.

After treating us to everything I'd instructed him to, I allowed him to go back to work, and I even dropped the girl off earlier than expected just to appease that little man who was slowly working his way down my acquaintances ' list.

## Fourteen : Terri

I sat on the couch watching the powerless television, just thinking about how different my life would be if my grandmother was still alive. I'd only lived with her for a short while, but I still loved her more than I could ever express because she never made me feel out of place.

Living with my mother wasn't very nurturing, and my father wasn't very welcoming. He despises my mother, and the only reason he wants nothing to do with me is because he thinks I'm going to end up just like her. I wish he could see that I will never be a Heart. Those women are from another planet or maybe it's just me. I've always been the oddball out.

Before I could slip any further into my depression, the doorbell rang. I knew who it was coming to see me. It was part of his routine now on every Friday. Thomas would come over to help me with my statistics homework, regardless that I didn't need it. He didn't really care if I needed it or not. He was only concerned with the way I would show him my gratitude for his efforts to help me.

I gave myself a once over, making sure I was dressed to his standards. I hated the shorts he preferred to see me in, but at least I didn't have to wear any of the dresses Dani had been buying for me lately.

Once I pulled the door opened, I couldn't even look at him and just walked back to the couch as he walked in and closed the door. "I didn't know what you'd want to drink or eat, so I have a little of everything here."

I gave a nervous chuckle, hoping to cover up my uneasy feelings. He always got mad when I made him feel like he was forcing me to do this. The funny thing is I've never felt like I had a choice.

"Professor Nalasco really wants us prepared for this mid-term, huh?" I continued to try to make small talk. I wanted to appear as relaxed as possible, but I still heard the fear in my voice.

"Uh . . . I'm not sure I know a Professor Nalasco."

I whipped around at the sound of the unfamiliar voice, unnerved that I'd just led some strange man into my sister's house. "Oh—um—I'm—I'm sorry." I spoke a mile a minute and moved just as quick to get behind the couch. "I didn't know—I thought you were somebody else."

I saw his expression, and I could tell I offended him by trying to get away from him so fast. "I didn't mean to scare you," he said in an odd tone.

"I'm sorry," I lowly said. I was too embarrassed to look him in the eyes, but I kept my eyes in his general area because I knew I had to be aware of where he was. "I really don't think you should be in here. I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize. I'm definitely not trying to make you feel uncomfortable in your own home." He took a few steps back and pointed outside. "I can wait outside. It's not a problem."

"Uhh . . . Why—why would you need to wait?" I didn't like the idea of him waiting anywhere near this house.

"Deklyne. I'm over here to see her." He took a few more steps towards the door. "It's all gravy, baby. I'll just catch her outside."

"No!" I yelled and quickly noticed his startled expression. "I—I—don't—I don't want her to think I made you wait outside."

"Why does it matter to her where I wait?" He frowned and lightly shrugged his shoulders.

"That's my sister," I tried to explain to him. "I don't want to make her mad about having you wait out—"

"I'm more concerned with you right now."

"I'm—I'm fine. I'm just . . . I wasn't expecting you." I tried to get him to understand that it was for the best that he wait inside.

I knew Deklyne would flip out if she thought I made him wait out there. I knew she was bound to find any reason to flip out, but if I could possibly prevent an episode from her, I needed to try.

"Maybe—"

"I'll just go to my room," I cut him off.

"You shouldn't have to do that." He voice was calm, but I heard agitation in it too. I didn't want to upset him, but I just needed him to understand.

"I don't want Deklyne—"

"Man, fuck Deklyne right now," he blurted out, and I took a few steps and tried to think of something else to say. "You would feel better if I waited outside, right?"

I stopped moving to think about his question and weigh my options. "No," I ended up saying. His being in the house with me was so much better than dealing with an enraged Deklyne.

He eyed my skeptically, and I got the feeling that he knew I was lying. "You're sure?"

"Yeah." I looked around the living room trying to find a spot I'd be comfortable in. Apparently, I needed to get him to believe I was comfortable with him being here. "I'm fine."

"Then why do you look like you're about to pass out?"

"I'm fine, really."

"Really?" he asked me with a raised eyebrow.

"Really. It's not you. I promise. It's just . . . " I let out a nervous laugh and made my way around the couch. Once I eased down, I looked at the tray of food and remembered Thomas was on his way. "I forgot."

"You forgot what?"

I opened my mouth a few times but words wouldn't come out. "I had . . . He's on his way," were the only words that would come out of my mouth to explain what was soon about to happen to me.

"Who?"

"A friend . . . A friend of mine."

"Oh, your dude? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt." He chuckled and kept his distance. "That's why you're looking all sexy and shit?"

I ran my hands over my exposed legs and tried to cover up what I could with a pillow. I noticed him take a few steps back again and put his hands in his pockets.

"My fault. I'm really not trying to make you uncomfortable. I just thought you looked nice. I forgot when I'm playing around I have to watch how things come out of my mouth around you Heart women. I didn't mean to make you mad. I'm sorry."

It was quiet for a long while, and I was surprised that he didn't comment on it. Usually when I'm around someone and I don't speak they always want to know why I don't speak.

The silence did give me time to reflect on the moments that had just passed though, and I remembered him apologizing to me. That was different too. No one had ever apologized for doing anything to me.

I tried to look at him again, but I couldn't and just held on tighter to the pillow in my lap. "You didn't make me mad," I told him barely above a whisper. I didn't hear him say anything, so I finally looked at him, and because he was looking at me with such interest, I snapped my head down.

"What you say?"

"I hate dressing like this," I said in my same tone. "That's why I put the pillow in my lap. You didn't make me mad. I just hate dressing like this."

"The hell do you do it then?"

I took another chance to look at him and saw a smirk on his face. I just watched him for a few seconds until he switched his smirk to a look of uncertainty. "He wants me to," I told him flatly.

"Who, your dude?" he asked and frowned. "The hell that mean? If you don't like it, don't do it."

"If only things were that simple," I found myself saying before I could think.

"It is simple." I wouldn't respond, but I noticed him take a step closer. "I don't know you or anything, but I really think you need to start thinking about your own feelings, baby. You don't want me outside because of Deklyne. You dress like that because of your dude. I think your new motto should be _'_ _fuck you_ _'_."

"He likes . . . He says it makes," I paused starting to feel a bit ashamed, "it better if he has something nice to look at first." I don't know why I kept opening my mouth about this situation to him. I didn't even know who he was.

"Regardless, your dude needs to respect how you feel."

"He's not my _dude_ ," I mimicked him.

"What?" I heard the confusion in his voice, and I squirmed in my seat. "Then who the hell is he?"

I shrugged, not even knowing how to answer that question. "He's . . . someone I know."

"Just someone you know?" He took a moment, I guess, to let things sink in. "Then why are you going through all of this extra shit?" He waved his hand at me and the platter I had laying out.

I flipped my head away from his direction, realizing I'd already said too much. "He's umm . . . We're just . . . He's just coming over here to help me study—"

"He wants you dressing like that to study?" he asked cutting me off, and I heard the judgment in his voice.

"Yeah," I affirmed, trying to sound as confident as I could. I knew I should have just shut my mouth a long time ago.

"I'm guessing that's the _it_ he's talking about that gets better because of the way you look?"

"Yeah," I said again, feeling my nerves about to break.

"That nigga coming over here to sex you," he told me matter-of-factly.

"I never said that." I felt a little flutter in my stomach. I hated when anyone found out I was having sex with either of the men I was steadily growing a hate for, and it was totally stupid of me to basically give this man that information just now.

"You didn't have to."

"You don't know what you're talking about." I heard the tears creeping into my voice, and I was praying I could keep them from falling from my eyes.

"You're letting him tell you how to dress and come over here to do what he wants to you, and he ain't even your dude?"

I heard the disgust he now had for me all too clear. "It's not any of your business what goes on between us." I tried to fuss, hoping he'd back off. I just couldn't get my voice to cooperate, though.

"The hell wrong with you, girl?" Now I heard anger in his voice, and I couldn't understand how he thought he had a right to be upset with me. "You're worth more than that, you know that right?"

"I don't need you telling me what I'm worth!"

He stopped talking for a while after that, but I could feel his eyes on me for the entire time. I knew what he thought of me, and I hated it. I wasn't that. I didn't want to be that, but that was what other people made me, and for some pitiful reason I continued to let myself be too weak to stop it.

I wiped at my eyes and sniffled a bit. "I'm not like that. I just—"

Before I could finish, the doorbell rang. My eyes went to him, and he watched me with a deep scowl on his face. The second time the bell rang, he snatched the door open. Thomas didn't even bother to acknowledge him and just walked in and sat down beside me. He kissed me on my cheek, and I just gave a forced smile and kept my eyes away from him.

"You're late," I chuckled uneasily.

"So what? I'm here now, so stop bitching."

I heard the guy scoff, but I ignored him. I didn't understand why what I was doing was suddenly so important to him. "I um . . . I thought you'd want—"

He pushed away the plate I was handing him. "The hell you doing?" he asked and looked at it as if it was an alien.

I gave another pitiful laugh, and I could hear the man mumbling something. "We need food. Food stimulates the brain so we can focus on—"

"You finished the study packet she gave us, so what else do we really need to study, right?"

I timidly nodded my answer to him, hating how he never liked to waste time. A part of me was hoping he'd show a little patience after seeing someone else here, but it was clear he had only one thing on his mind.

"So you really don't need much today, huh? We can finish early, with this anyway." He tossed my text book with a laugh and began rubbing my thigh. I tried to move away a little, and he moved closer and rubbed on other places. "What's wrong with you, girl? Where that skirt I told you to wear?"

"Nigga, get out," the guy said abruptly, and the anger was so evident in his voice you would have thought his anger came from years of hating Thomas.

That was the first time Thomas turned to . . . _him_. I didn't even know his name. "Who you suppose to be?" Clearly Thomas didn't care about whoever he was, but even without knowing him, I knew Thomas was biting off more than he could chew, dismissing the man so easily.

A hard frown drew itself deeper on the guy's face, evidence that he was probably about to explode. "Don't worry about it, just get your ass out," he finally said with his voice still angry, but it was savagely calm.

"Bitch, you don't live here. Shut the hell up." Thomas waved him off and turned back to me.

The guy only chuckled at Thomas before punching him twice then ripping him from his seat and practically throwing him out of the door. I couldn't see Thomas anymore but from the way the guy braced himself I figured Thomas had tried to come back at him. No doubt because his pride had been hurt, and he felt he had too. Unfortunately for Thomas, the guy was ready and delivered one last punch. I only heard the punch, but the sound was more than enough for me to know Thomas was withering on the ground, and the guy just watched him. The mental picture of Thomas just lying there almost made me smile. Instead, I just bit my nails and wondered what this guy would figure I owed him for getting rid of Thomas for me.

"Let me ever catch your ass anywhere near her," he spoke again with his savagely calm voice replaced with a threatening one, "and it's over for you. Believe that." He slammed the door after that and was now facing me. "You better find you a better dude or that's your ass too. If you can't find one who treats you with respect and actually cares about you, you need to stay by yourself and get a damn puppy. You're too young and beautiful to be letting these knuckleheads use you like that. You can't think that little of yourself. I mean, come on."

I couldn't deny that I was thankful, but I didn't like the way he was now threatening and lecturing me. It wasn't like I searched for these types of men. They always just found me somehow, and it wasn't even like I tried to make anything happen with them. So he couldn't judge my situation.

"It wasn't like I was dating him," I found myself trying to defend myself. I don't know what pushed me to try to defend myself. Usually I would just let whoever say whatever, but this time I actually felt like I should say something to him.

"You know that actually makes the shit worst, right?" he asked me as if I was an idiot of some kind.

"Who are you to tell me this? You don't—"

"I ain't no damn body to you," he cut me off and fussed a little more, "but that ain't the point." He sighed and brushed his waves forward while studying me for a second. "Your daddy ain't teach you how a man is supposed to treat you?" I rolled my eyes at his question, but my body remained stiff. "I wish a nigga would treat my daughter like that."

"Well we all weren't blessed with great dads," I told him, feeling fresh tears come to my eyes.

"You know what, I don't really care because that's not an excuse. You know he wasn't shit because you ain't even want him touching you."

"Can you not fuss at me like you know me!" I screamed at him, and he only paused momentarily.

"Tell me you're the type of female to just sex random dudes for the hell of it?" he questioned me like he already knew I wasn't. I couldn't even look directly at him, knowing I hated when either Thomas or Kevin was here. I did just sex dudes, but it wasn't just for the hell of it. "He was only doing to you what you were letting him do."

"I wasn't letting him do anything," I tried to sound confident with that statement, but I knew he didn't believe me because I didn't even believe myself.

"Did you once tell him to get out or were you trying to feed his ass and letting him rub on you?"

I was already feeling bad enough, and having him harp on me wasn't going to make anything better, but he didn't seem to be letting up. "Will you just—Why are you saying this?"

"Because that's crazy," he defended himself as if he had a right to be talking to me like this. "How can you just accept that?"

I couldn't answer him because there was no real answer to that besides: this was my life and all that I'd ever known. What else was there for me to accept?

"Do you have these talks with every stranger you meet?" I asked and glared at him. I didn't care how much truth he thought was in what he said, I didn't want to hear it.

He was about to fly into another speech, and I let out a heavy sigh and looked away from him. He finally stopped talking for a while, but it was only temporary.

"I'm not trying to preach to you, baby."

"I noticed," I said bitterly. "You have a real gift for knowing when to keep your mouth shut." I had to shake my head at myself because I could've easily said the same thing about myself.

He paused for another moment, but I was positive it was only going to be a moment. "And just where the hell was all this attitude when that nigga was here?"

"What can I say? You bring it out of me." I leaned back on the couch, and I actually had to ask myself where I'd suddenly got the nerve to talk to him like that. I'd basically told him my darkest secrets, and now I was in the middle of an argument with him, and I still didn't even know his name.

The door opened just then, and Deklyne strolled in with a few shopping bags in her hands. "I didn't think you'd be on time," she said all cheerily, but he didn't respond to her. I knew it was because he was still watching me. "Okay, Gordon? Don't you want to be a gentleman and help me with my bags?"

"My bad," I finally heard his voice again. "Where do you want them?"

"Just take them up to my room, please?"

"You want to tell me which one that would be?" We both heard the attitude in his tone, but I was sure it was because of me.

"Really? You just got here and already with the attitude?" He just gave her a blank stare after grabbing her bags. "The one with the blue walls, second door on the left." He was gone in seconds, and I started to gather the snacks I'd made for Thomas. "Leave them and go get the rest of my bags. Make yourself useful for once, Tar-Tar." She called me by a childhood nickname she'd given me that I still hated to this day.

By the time I'd returned, Gordon was back and snacking with Deklyne on the couch. She laughed when she saw me struggling with all the bags she had me carrying.

Gordon looked at her and shook his head before he stood up to help me. "I got you."

"She's fine," Deklyne said, giving me a dismissive wave.

"I'm still helping her," he shot back before shaking his head again.

"She's built sturdy. She doesn't need your help."

"I'm helping her, Deklyne. Why don't you finish bullshiting so when I come back we can actually finish business?"

"God, Gordon. This is going to be a long meeting if you don't cut that out."

"No, it's going to be short as hell. I'm out this bitch the second you show your ass."

He followed me and made me nervous the whole time. After putting her bags down, he stopped me before I could make it into my own room. He put his arm around my shoulder and chuckled.

"I have to admit though, if I grew up with your sisters, I'd probably have my own messed up opinions about how people act out in the world and what was okay to put up with." He gave me a small squeeze and moved closer to my ear. "I'm not a messed up person, though, and please trust you don't have to put up with bullshit from anybody." He smiled at me before letting me go. "Don't make me come back and chase anymore worthless dudes out of here."

He finally started making his way downstairs, and I just watched him. What did he think he knew about what my life was like? Either way, I couldn't run from the fact that something about him made me feel at ease now. I actually wanted him here to chase the other guy away from me. I couldn't help the smile that eased its way onto my face as I watched him strut down the stairs.

Fifteen : Dani

I was really trying to be patient with Gordon. It had been an hour since I'd called and told him to pick me up for a day out, and he'd yet to get his ass over here. It was now becoming apparent that I was being too soft with him. His lessons couldn't have been put any simpler, but I could have made them a lot harder—which I sometimes preferred. He knew I was not supposed to wait on him, but it was almost like he was still behaving this way because he was amused by it.

For a minute I thought his little rebellion might be fun, but he was already showing me he wasn't someone I was going to keep around for long. I figured I would enjoy breaking him, and once he was trained correctly, I'd toss him away just as I did the others. Even if his sex turned out to be good and the money stayed long, my patience would always be short.

By the time he was ringing my doorbell, I was already thinking about Marshall, the young Realtor trying to sale the home a few houses down from me.

"You really need to work on your timing, sweetheart. Did you forget our conversation at Mikey's already?" I asked as soon as I snatched the door open.

He gave a startled frown, probably from my tone, but recovered as soon as he realized how serious my question was. "Absolutely not, but I have an excuse," he told me with a soft smile as he leaned over to kiss my cheek.

"I don't do excuses." I pushed him away from me and eyed a basket in his hand. "And what the hell is that?"

"My excuse." He licked his lips at me and held up the basket as if he was impressing me. I just cocked a brow at him. "I'm taking you on a picnic."

A laugh was the only thing I could get to leave my mouth at first then I couldn't do much more than stare from him to the basket, which still had the damn tag on it. I shook my head at him, but he put a dumb look on his face as if he didn't understand what the problem was.

"This whole idea is repellent for joie de vivre," I almost fussed, but something kept my temper in check. It might have had something to do with the irenic look on his face.

Seeing him look so peaceful kept my anger at bay for the time being, but I still wasn't putting up with his foolishness.

"I'm not going to sit outside in this weather, with no table and no chairs to sit on, and only a blanket separating me from the hard ass earth, and—"

"Will you stop complaining?" he asked and put a finger over my lips. He stepped closer to me and began stroking my cheek with his thumb, and his eyes damn near stopped my breathing. "You could be surprised by life if you didn't complain about it so much."

I knew any other time a person tried to shut me up me, I was all over their ass. So it really boggled my mind why I didn't put Gordon in his place just then. I just let him gaze down at me and run his hand down my body.

"This is going to be fun. I promise. It's cheap and—"

"Cheap?" I questioned his sanity as I pushed him away from me. Was he serious? Yet another rule broken. "I don't do cheap, sweetheart" I was finally able to fuss at him, and I pushed his chest again. He chuckled at me, which irritated me more. "I don't—"

"Hey, woman!" he playfully fussed back. "You will enjoy yourself," he whispered, and my heart fluttered a little when he stepped up to me again and kissed me. It was a light kiss, only a few seconds, but my body still danced from the second I felt his lips. "I guarantee it. Don't miss out on something because you're not in control of it," he told me as if he could read me and with a confidence I'd never heard a man use on me.

Men usually begged for my approval, and this nigga was acting as if I should appreciate the experience he was about to give me. Had it not been for my mind getting lost in what had just happened, I would have corrected what he was doing.

That was just it, though. I was stuck. For the first time in my life I felt a fog in my head that was not the result of some much needed rum. If my sloppy thought processing was caused by that, I could have understood what was going on. I probably would have preferred that at this point. All that had happened, however, was a kiss.

He'd kissed me. Who gives a damn? It wasn't like it was my first kiss. It wasn't like it was a foreplay kiss leading to sex. It was just a simple ass kiss, but damn if it didn't bring everything but my desires to a stop.

Just then anger began to flood in me, not only because he was taking too many liberties, but because I actually felt myself wanting him to keep doing it. That was something I didn't do. I didn't _want_ affection from men. I controlled it, and he knew it. He was starting his game early, just as he did at the boutique. He wanted me to fall over his charms? Bullshit that was going to happen. He was in for a hell of a ride if he thought he was going to win this.

"I'm not going on a picnic, Gordon," I warned him, but he still just smiled at me.

"You said you don't plan." I tried to speak, but he kissed me again and again my head was sent spinning. "I'm making the decisions today."

The anger I felt for him continued to build until I looked in his eyes then my anger turned solely to myself because I found myself giving way to his bait. No matter how much I wanted to protest further, something kept me silent as I let him usher me out my door and to his car.

The ride was long, but it did give me time to think and put everything in place. Gordon was becoming too comfortable too fast. Men all had to be broken in. I knew that. What I didn't know was why I had yet to enforce his lessons. He sure as hell needed them, but here I was on my way to some pitiful picnic when I was supposed to be at a five star restaurant.

I realized I was fascinated by Gordon. He didn't behave like the typical, sex driven man, but he was still a man after all. It was only a matter of time before I'd break through his will power.

"Here we are, baby," he said once he cut the engine. "You ready for the time of your life?" he asked amusingly, and I just rolled my eyes.

By the time he'd set everything up and helped me to the ground, I was irritated all over again. Ants attacked the blanket immediately, causing us to have to find another spot. He'd picked food up from McDonald's which had gotten cold. To top that, the sun was hot as hell and the only shady spot was where the ants had evicted us from.

"This is just absolutely great, Gordon," I huffed and threw the Big Mac back in the basket.

"Yo, chillax. You make the experience what it is. If you complain about everything, you'll have a terrible time. Make the air light and all is well," he said and tried to stroke my cheek again. I just swatted his hand away.

"Do not prattle that Zen shit to me, sweetheart." There was nothing he could say or do that would fix my mood unless it was getting us the hell out of this heat. Even when I was fanning myself with the McDonald's bag I'd folded up I was still smoldering.

"That's some real stuff, woman," he tried to defend himself, but I didn't want to hear it.

"Gordon," I warned him.

"How was your week?" His question was so out of the blue, but even as I stared him down, he acted as if everything was going perfect.

"Gordon, it's hot. The food is terrible. Those ants bit the shit out of me. Just shut the hell up unless we're leaving." I shocked myself with that response. I should have been up demanding he get me to some AC, but I was actually giving him a choice. Once I realized what I was doing I stopped to look at him.

"Mine was full of drama," he spoke as if he was truly unfazed by anything his mind wasn't focused on. "But now that I'm with you, it's all good." I continued to just look at him, and he smiled. "Even with your complaining."

"Gordon, this—"

"Will you tell how you week has been?" he practically begged. "Or at least your day?"

"Why do you care?" I should have asked him why he was pretending to care. Who goes around asking people how their day has been?

"Because I do," he said with a shrug and a small frown.

I hesitated for a few seconds, still having trouble figuring him out. "Gordon, you could be wining and dining me right now, proving to me just how much of me you deserve."

"What?" he asked and frowned harder at me.

"You must be out of your damn mind if you think all I'm worth is a cold ass fast food sandwich."

"I don't equate material things to a woman's value, Danielle," he said with a tightness in his voice, and I just glared at him. "You mind telling me how your day was?"

"It was fine, Gordon," I fussed. "Shit! How was yours?" Sarcasm laced my words because I was hitting my limit, and I was just about to say fuck holding my tongue if he kept this up.

"I already told you it was full of drama, until we came here," he said calmly and tucked a finger under my chin to force me to look him in the eye. "Tell me about yourself."

"What is there to tell, sweetheart? I'm a female. I'm Africa-American. I'm twenty-eight. I love sex, and I hate bullshit."

"I hate bullshit too. I guess we have more in common than you think." I heard the sour tone he was taking, and I was just about to say something about it, but his eyes caught me.

They seemed to have a fire in them now, and it honestly left me speechless for a few seconds. Then it left me compliant. "What do you want to know?" I asked quietly. The knotty part of it was I didn't want to slap myself this time for giving into him.

"About you, your life. Where did you grow up?"

I thought for a moment, not sure if I really wanted to get into something like this. The more men knew about you, the easier it was for them to manipulate you. I learned that the hard way.

"Here," was all I said to him, contemplating calling someone else to come pick me up to finish this day off in the manner I had intended: hot and sweaty from sex, not baking under the sun and talking about my life.

"I'm a Miami native. Born and raised. What about family? My parents have been married for as long as you've been alive. I got one brother and two sisters, got a gang of cousins though."

"You've met my sisters," I said with slight annoyance. God knows I love my sisters, but I did not enjoy talking about them. I didn't even enjoy talking about myself.

"Sweet girls." There was a grimace on his face as he spoke of them, but I didn't care to ask him to explain that. "So what about you though? You have some years behind you, some opportunities and whatnot. Have you lived your life the way you've wanted to?"

That question caught me off guard a little, and I gave him a puzzled look. "What kind of question is that? I've lived the life I was given. I hold no regrets if that's what you're asking."

"No, I was just saying . . . Did you grow up to be what you'd hoped?" he smiled his question at me, and I could only let out a bitter laugh. "What?"

"No, I didn't."

He waited for me to say more, but I just watched the horizon until he spoke. "What was it?" I just shook my head and looked down. "You wanted to be nothing when you grew up?" he asked with sarcasm, but I still wouldn't respond. "You always have so much to say, now you clam up."

"I'm not clamming up," I argued and lied. I didn't want to talk about this with him. It was so long ago, something that I hadn't thought about in a lifetime.

"Well talk to me." He shrugged as if he didn't care that he was digging into my personal business.

I don't know what made me say it, but after taking a breath I said, "No matter how far a person can go the horizon is still way beyond you."

He nodded at me and smiled. "Zora Neale Hurston. What you know about her?" he laughed, and I just shrugged feeling a slight headache about to come on.

"I learned a lot about her in college." He was quiet after I said that, and I was waiting on him to ask me what the hell I thought college was going to do for me. "I will tell you . . . sometimes I wish I would have finished," I found myself admitting to him.

"You talking like it's too late for you to go back."

"I'm twenty-eight, Gordon."

"My friend's grandpa got his GED at fifty-eight and got his Bachelor's at sixty-six. You can't tell me it's too late for you."

I shook my head, almost hating that I'd said anything. "All of this is history, anyway. There's no use in talking about it."

"Yes talk about it, dammit. Hell, do it. I'll take you myself to enroll in school, be your study buddy and shit. We can hit up spring break and show the youngins' how it's done." I laughed at him, and he laughed too. "I'm serious. You should go back. What were you going for?"

I just shrugged, still not feeling completely comfortable going down that road with him. "It really doesn't even matter."

"Yes it does. I bet it would make your mama proud." I snapped my head to him, and my glared burned the smile off his face. "What?"

"Don't bring up my mother. She's in the past and that's where she needs to stay. Matter of fact all of this, alright. Pick a new fucking topic already."

"Damn. Forgive me? Please?" he said with a bit of his own attitude. "I just think it would be a shame to give up on that." Neither one of us spoke for a while then I heard him sigh. "I mean I didn't really want to be running clubs." I looked at him, and he shrugged but wouldn't make eye contact with me anymore. "I wanted to have my own interior decorating business."

I raised an eyebrow at him, and he just sighed and slumped his shoulders a bit, probably imagining my expression. "You have to be kidding," I told him, not at all caring that he probably already felt embarrassed. He needed to feel embarrassed.

"No I'm not," he fussed, and I laughed because I could tell there was still some raw emotion there. "My father and brother both let me know that's not a career choice for a straight man, and I believed it. I let somebody else dictate what I decided to do with the rest of my life."

"At least you became successful. Be thankful, sweetheart." He was being an idiot complaining that he ended up becoming this young mogul. Twenty-six years old and already opening up his second business. He was doing damn good for a youngin'.

"It ain't all about the money, sweetheart."

"No," I agreed with him. "Sex and power is right there too." He watched me for a minute, and I knew he was trying to challenge my logic. "You wouldn't be as successful as you are in your business if that wasn't true."

"In my business, perhaps. What about my life?"

"Life is a business, sweetheart. Same rules still apply. We both know that." I winked at him, and he just watched me.

After a few more seconds of studying me, he pulled me closer to him and held me against his chest. I didn't understand what he was trying to do, but my body relaxed against him before my mind could tell me to protest. I couldn't deny that something about him had me actually liking his actions, but I wasn't blind to the praxes of a man. For the mean time however, I was willing to let him have his room.

Sixteen : Terri

"Oh my God!" Deklyne screamed out lustfully after reading a message from her phone. Dani sat close to her at the kitchen island and looked at her with a knowing smirk, and Neila looked at her in annoyance as she mixed the cookie dough. I just sat at the kitchen table and watched them all in silence.

"What was that for?" Neila asked, grabbing a baking sheet.

"I think I may have found a new one," she said with a lustful look in her eye. It was utterly disgusting.

"Really, Deklyne? Aren't you and Cris supposed to be serious about each other?" Neila asked, trying to be the voice for morals.

"Fuck that. Get yours, sweetheart," Dani encouraged Deklyne's slut activities. "Neila, you need to understand we," she waved her hand between herself and Deklyne, "are not the type to be locked down."

"Cris thinks she is. At least tell him you're about to go find someone else," Neila said, handing me the bowl of dough and the cookie sheet.

I wanted to let them know it was too late to warn Cris. All because Maurice and Deklyne had known each other since middle school and never made they're "relationship" public, everyone assumed they'd just remained friends. As bad as I wanted to shed light on Deklyne's true character, I knew better. Instead, I just began placing scoops of dough on the cookie sheet while Neila went to check on her family famous, homemade lasagna.

"She owes no explanation to a man, sweetheart," Dani continued with her well used philosophy on men. "He just needs to be thankful that she's even allowing him to be with her." Neila just shook her head at them and focused on preparing the food.

"Besides Neila, if you were to meet him and get to know him, you'd probably try to go after him yourself."

Neila stopped what she was doing and gave Deklyne a look I'm sure made her feel stupid for even thinking that, and Dani started laughing as if she was watching the funniest show on earth.

"Now you know damn well Neila will have none of it, sweetheart." She cackled again, and I couldn't help the smile that came to my lips. Her laugh was so loud, but infectious. "She breaks niggas' balls worse than I do, and you all know how Dani gets down."

"Anyway," Deklyne dramatized, ready for the attention to go back to her life. "I'm really serious about this one."

Neila just rolled her eyes. I knew it was because she had a hatred for men that I just couldn't figure out. I could understand if she dealt with the types of men I usually attracted, but the men who she usually comes home complaining about almost always sound like the pick of the litter in comparison.

One guy she ended their first and only date after ten minutes because he told her he would prefer to drive her on their next date instead of having her meet him at the restaurant because _"_ _his father had taught him as a man, it was his duty to escort the lady_ _"_. She said he was being a chauvinist who wanted to control her.

Another guy she didn't even get to the dating part because he mistakenly admitted to her that she had a _"_ _desirable body_ _"_. She summed him up as a man just looking for sex. Both he and the other guy were from her college years.

The only form of contact she's had from a guy since then is calls from some guy she works with, and his calls to her never last longer than five minutes. Most of the time she's telling him that he could talk to her at the office before she hangs up on him.

"Neila, Gordon is a great guy," Deklyne whined, bringing me back from my thoughts, as she held her phone closer to her face.

Dani and Neila both stopped what they were doing again, but this time they appeared upset. "Excuse me, you need to correct what you just said," Dani told her, slamming down her fourth glass of Malibu. "Or you had better not be talking about the one and only Gordon I know."

Deklyne looked like she was afraid to answer Dani, and I found the whole situation funny. If it was one sister Deklyne knew not to cross, it was Dani. "Gordon White," she answered timidly, and a small smirk tried to fight its way on my lips as I watched her cower. "We met a while ago, and then I think I introduced him to you later." I knew Deklyne was trying to insinuate that she'd known Gordon longer than Dani had, and Dani picked up on it to.

"You think it matters which one of us met him first?" she growled, repositioning herself from her relaxed state.

Deklyne looked to Neila for help, but Neila looked too stuck on something else. "No, I was just—" she tried to answer, but that's when Neila finally found her voice.

"Wait a minute? I know neither one of you is even thinking about getting involved with that clown," she said in disgust.

"Neila, he's a nice guy," Deklyne tried to defend him, and I was actually tempted to jump in and agree with Deklyne. I thought Gordon was a pretty neat guy.

"You need to stop worrying about him, sweetheart," Dani chimed back into the conversation. Her voice was calm now, but if Deklyne was smart, she'd know that never guaranteed Dani was calm.

"Why?" she whined, sounding pathetic. "We've—Dani, we've already gone out a few times."

"There's no way in hell because he's either working, on the phone with me, or out with me," she countered, throwing her hand up in question then letting it fall to her lap.

"I'm who he's working with," Deklyne explained as if she'd just made a point. Dani gave her one look, and Deklyne's shoulders dropped and she turned to face Neila.

"Basically, you're just an employee of his who has a crush on him?" Dani asked her or rather explained back to Deklyne her actual role in Gordon's life.

"Dani, why are you . . ." Deklyne sighed and ran her hands through her hair, and she prepared to fix her tone, per request by Dani's expression. I giggled to myself, but no one heard me. "Dani, I like this man."

"You need to stick to Cris, sweetheart. You really think he's going to want you since I've decided he can have a chance with me? Your little scrawny ass will get your feelings hurt quick if you don't make a wise decision."

"Ha," Neila screeched out, but still kept her eyes on her task. "That would be something to see."

"What?" Dani asked, giving Deklyne a look which she couldn't even face.

"You two going after the same simpleton."

"That race would be over before it could even start," Dani said confidently, and I was sure she was right.

"Gordon is attracted to me," Deklyne tried to make herself relevant, and she sounded so desperate doing it.

"That I believe. I don't think you're ugly, sweetheart," Dani said in a sincere tone. "There's just no way he'd pick you over me."

"I've been spending all this time with him," Deklyne said, not willing to give up for some reason. "I'm sure he's thinking about me when he leaves."

"He works with you, and he's always telling me how stressed his work is making him, sweetheart," Dani dismissed her. "It's not his job to be with me, it's his pleasure."

"Dani, are you so quick to believe it's unlikely Deklyne could sway Gordon's affections?" Neila asked, finally setting the lasagna aside and becoming interested in the conversation again. "He does not depict the loyal type. Put a vagina in front of him and I am quite certain he would endeavor to have his pleasure. I'm positive even if I encouraged a relationship of sorts with him, regardless of the two of you making yourselves available, I could probably acquire him." She shrugged, feeling as if she had it all down to a science. "Simply because that is the behavior of men. Gordon is no different."

Dani let out a laugh full of elation. "You know what? Why don't you just try, sweetheart?"

"What?" Neila asked, frowning and folding her arms.

"Since it's clear Deklyne thinks she's falling madly in love and you think just because you make yourself available you believe either of you could get the business from him, why don't we put a wager on this?" Dani suggested and laughed again.

"I'm having difficulty believing I'm understanding correctly." Neila looked down and shook her head as if she had to shake understanding into her head. "I hope what registered in my head was a lack of comprehension. I would greatly appreciate it if you'd render your thoughts a bit more precisely."

Dani smiled, clearly enjoying what her idea was doing to Neila. "Do you even know how to speak using normal sentences, sweetheart?" she laughed, and Neila just frowned. "Listen, you and Deklyne can go after him. Watching the two of you trying to beat me to his bed will definitely be entertaining."

"I'm not trying to compete with you, Dani," Deklyne said lowly, already sounding as if she was defeated.

"Stop backing down. Even though I know you're no competition, don't let another bitch stop you from going after anything that you want." She finally sipped from her glass again.

"How can you say that when just a moment ago you seemed ready to pounce on her because you learned she truly wanted to start some sordid relationship with this Gordon character?'

Dani paused and thought a minute. "There's something about him that I thought was important to figure out. However, that can wait until I teach you and little Deklyne a thing or two."

"You will not teach me one thing because I am not involving myself in such foolishness." Neila's facial expression was one in a million, but I held my laughter in.

Dani had no problem laughing out loud, though. "Stop being so fucking scary, sweetheart."

"Language, Dani," Neila sternly told her, and Dani rolled her eyes.

"Yes ma'am, _Mama Heart_." Dani then put her attention on Deklyne. "But I'm still going to teach the both of you plenty. Have your fun trying to get some. I won't even offer it to him just yet, just to give you two a fair shot."

"So you want me to compete for him even though you think I can't get him?" Deklyne asked with sadness everywhere in her voice.

"First or all, stop whining," Dani scolded her, flipping from playful to angry so quickly. "Second, I'm proving something to you both while having a little fun in the process."

"And what if she gets him?" Neila asked and actually had a smile on her face for the first time since Gordon's name was mentioned.

Dani smiled a slick smile at Deklyne. "You know, that could just be possible. Tell you what, if you do get him, I'll get Wallace to fund a trip for you to where ever it is you want to go. I might even throw in an extra ticket for Gordon if I like how you play the game."

"What if I want to go to Milan?" she asked like a child preparing her Christmas list for Santa.

"Non avrete mai la possibilità, ma tuoi sogni sono bello, ti stronza disperata," she said in a seductive voice, and I couldn't help the smirk that came to my face. Dani always could make me laugh with her antics. Deklyne probably didn't even realize Dani was cutting her down.

"Please don't tell me you know how talk dirty in Italian?" Neila scoffed, unaware that Dani had just called Deklyne a desperate bitch.

"It's one of the many languages, sweetheart."

"Fine. I'm up for it." Deklyne seemed to perk up.

I don't know why. Dani was right. Gordon wouldn't want anything to do with her if he had a chance to be with Dani. I actually couldn't wait to see Dani embarrass her.

"Neila?" Dani asked with amusement soaking her tone.

"You cannot be serious," she laughed, but I knew she didn't find anything funny.

"I'm very serious, sweetheart. I'll even give you his number and introduce you two."

"We've met," she said irritably. I assumed whatever went down when they met wasn't good, and she was reminiscing on it.

"Pulling me away from him that night doesn't qualify as meeting him," Dani corrected her.

Neila gave her a side glance before grabbing the lasagna. "No, love. I've met him and regrettably spent more time with him than I cared for."

"What?" Deklyne and Dani both fussed at the same time.

Neila smirked, clearly feeling she'd just proven a point. "See." She turned her nose up a bit as she continued to prepare the food. "Gordon doesn't seem to be very loyal now does he? I already had my suspicions about that man and how much he spread himself around, and now not only is it confirmed that he's running around with multiple women only months after moving here, but two of those woman are my sisters." She let out a sarcastic laugh that Dani frowned at.

"And just what the hell is so funny?" she asked, probably not liking Neila's tone.

Neila just shrugged but kept her smile in her face. "It would be all three of us if I were as gullible as you two."

"Gullible?" Dani questioned as if Neila had just called her the cheapest and ugliest whore. "When have you even heard of me falling for the games of any nigga?" Dani practically fussed. I'm sure she felt disrespected. "I control every situation I have with a man because nothing is up to him."

Neila shook her head and watched Dani as if she felt sympathy for her. "Is he really someone we want to put this much effort into?"

She began preparing everything on platters then taking the lasagna, bread, salad and freshly cut fruit over to Dani's table. No one said anything the entire time, probably considering Neila's words.

Regardless of Gordon's apparent running around on them, I still liked him. He had all of my sisters jumping just at the mention of his name. Dani was about to add him to her roster; I'm sure in time she'd be serving up some good stories on him. Deklyne was about to be put in her place over him, and Neila was about to be pure entertainment.

I just hoped he wouldn't think I was a part of this madness. I liked him and wouldn't dare think to run some kind of game on him. My sisters though, the Heart women . . . sometimes they had no heart.

Finally, Dani let out a laugh before refilling her cup. "This is going to be too interesting. Now I really want to put him in a slot. That nigga is going to be begging just to sniff my pussy."

Neila rolled her eyes before turning to Deklyne. "Deklyne, you seem to enjoy being with Cris. Is he worth losing over a guy like Gordon?"

"I want my trip. Hell, I'll take Cris instead of Gordon. Honestly, I just want sex from Gordon." Dani howled in laughter and gave a high-five to Deklyne while Neila went into a lecture.

"Neila, do you want me to put the cookies in now?" I made the mistake in reminding them that I was in the room.

"Aw shit, sweetheart! Terri you need to get in on this. You're too damn old to still be a virgin."

"Are you serious?" Deklyne looked at me in total disgust. "This girl is not a vir—"

"I couldn't do anything like that," I quickly said to cut Deklyne off from exposing me.

"Honestly, she's much too unacquainted and innocent for this. This is not something we should unmask her to," Neila said, trying to help me out, but she just made me feel smaller because I knew the truth.

"She's not so innocent, you guys." Deklyne glared at me, and I wished that for one second I had the bravery of Dani so I could tell her off. "I've chased a boy out of her room before."

"Aw shit, sweetheart!" Dani yelled out again. "When were you going to tell me you had a boyfriend?"

I gave a nervous laugh and walked away from the stove. "He's not my boyfriend."

"That's right. Don't let no nigga think he can claim you," Dani said, raising her glass to me. I just gave her a weak smile.

"Like he'd want to?" Deklyne of course had to say something.

"Shut up," Dani fussed at her and gave her a sideways look. "It's those outfits I got you wearing. Hell, you probably could pull Gordon if you wanted to. I'd even back off if I saw him showing interest."

"No, Dani. I couldn't—"

"There's no way in hell Gordon would—"

"Like you know a fucking thing about what the hell Gordon would do," Dani griped, and stood up. "You're really trying my patience right now."

"I'm just trying to save her the embarrassment," Deklyne pitifully defended herself, almost sounding like she was about to cry. Every time Dani was about to let loose on her, she'd break out the waterworks. She was a pro at that.

"Bitch, go take a walk and fix your emotions because I'm damn sure not about to put up with you sitting here in my face crying."

"Dani, calm yourself," Neila warned, taking away Dani's pitcher and replacing it with a pitcher full of tea.

"I'm getting sick of her always talking shit about Terri," Dani said, staring down the now mute Deklyne.

"It would be refreshing if you could tone that down," Neila agreed, but not nearly as harshly as Dani.

"I wasn't even saying anything," she blubbered.

"Cry!" Dani dared her. "I want you to cry," she fussed more and walked closer to Deklyne, but Neila intervened and told Dani to calm down. "Your little slick ass comments, sweetheart?" she continued, slightly ignoring Neila. "You think I'm stupid? Please do not make me beat your ass in these heels? I just got them."

"Dani, seriously? Can you two just take yourselves to the table so we can eat?" Neila argued.

"No," Dani said, suddenly with a sweet tone. Once again, she switched her mood so effortlessly. "I'm back to this little contest. Deklyne, you better improve everything about yourself if you even want the smallest chance. Neila, get the chip off your shoulder. And Terri, come out of your damn shell," she paused and gave me a sly grin while holding her glass to her lips, "so you can finally cum." She winked at me, and I couldn't hold my laugh in anymore after her corny joke.

"Dani, stop it. I'm not doing this and neither is Terri. She has a significant other right now, so there's no point for her to do it, and I'm just not doing it regardless." Neila scolded, and Dani cursed her and told her to stop being a prude. "No. Terri, don't do anything out of your character."

"What?" Dani downed the rest of her drink and grabbed her pitcher from the refrigerator. "Neila, you're the main one trying to drag that girl out of her shell."

"Absolutely because I want to build her confidence," Neila justified all of the things she'd done to get me out of this shell everyone was talking about.

"And you don't think this will build her confidence?"

"No, it won't. Trying to win the affections of a man lowers self-esteem and your self-respect. No woman should lower herself by adjusting herself to appease a male specimen only to have him ignore her or later throw her away."

"She won't lower her self-esteem if she gets some," Dani laughed, probably not seeing Neila's point. I did though, and I didn't know if I should have been thankful or felt offended.

"When everything you do is for naught, where does that leave you?" Neila continued to fuss.

Dani just rolled her eyes and huffed. "Fine, if she doesn't do it then you are, sweetheart."

"No I'm not," she said defiantly.

"Yes you are because if you win, Deklyne is going to get Terri a job working at," she took a second to look Deklyne up and down, "whatever the hell it is she does."

"What?" I wasn't shocked by Deklyne's disapproving reaction because I wasn't jumping for joy at the idea either.

"What is that going to do?" Neila questioned in confusion.

"She'll have to interact with groups of people." She came over to me and rubbed my shoulder. "My little sweetheart will be forced to come out of that shell."

Neila didn't do anything for a minute and just looked at me. "That does sound interesting," she said, giving me a slick grin.

"Don't I get a say in where I work?" I quietly asked.

"No, sweetheart. This will give you that push you need and experience you need to stop letting weak bitches talk to you any kind of way," Dani said pinching my cheek. "Neila, is it a deal?"

Neila didn't answer for a while and then just sat at the table and began fixing her salad. "Fine," she finally said.

Fine. _Fine?_ I couldn't believe they would make a deal that could potentially result in my not only living with Deklyne but I'd be forced to work with her now. There was no logic in what they were trying to do.

So what if I would have to work with people? I'm around people all the time and I've yet to learn whatever it is they want me to learn. Why is it even so important to them how I deal with the world? They have their own issues they need to work through instead of trying to fix _"poor, weak, and innocent Terri."_

I bet they've never even entertained the thought that I'm the way I am because each one of my sisters is emotionally disturbed. Dani deals with life with anger and sex. Neila pushes people away or keeps them in boxes and uses her own logic—which she can't see passed—so her pain and insecurities can be explained away. Then there's Deklyne who is just an emotionally psychotic demon. Throw in our mother and absentee fathers then answer the question how the hell was I supposed to come out normal growing up with that.

I couldn't deal with all of the extremes. I had to let them lose their minds and breakdown, but I never got my turn. I always had to just let things happen and stay silent because my feelings and thoughts were never important enough. Whatever they were dealing with always took precedence over what I was feeling. More than half of the time I was never even acknowledged.

Now these two wanted to fix me as if I was the one with outrageous issues? We all have issues, yet mine deserve plans and some stupid bet? and the best way to help me was working as a party host?

Has family therapy ever crossed anyone's mind? Gordon had only known me for minutes and he picked up on this being a family issue and not a _Terri_ issue. Some sisters I have.

I was becoming so wrapped up in my anger and negative thoughts that I didn't even think about what Deklyne was thinking. I got a clue though when she huffed and tried to run out of the kitchen, but Dani wasn't about to let her leave. She grabbed Deklyne and threw her down in one of the seats.

"You better get your stank ass attitude correct and be thankful that I'm giving you the chance to make shit up to Terri."

Deklyne didn't say anything, but the look she was gave me once Dani turned away said it all. This was exactly why I was growing to hate our weekly Day of Hearts. I also felt more than sorry for Gordon now that my sisters wanted to pull him even further into their madness. He should have gotten out when he still had the chance.

## Seventeen : Dani

I watched him from across the table as his eyes wandered over my body. It was all too clear that my evening wear was getting him horny, despite the only thing he could see at the moment was a peek at my chest and my toned arms. His eyes were lingering so long though, I knew he was fantasizing about me. Hell, it was possible he was reminiscing from earlier when I walked out to his car as he stood gawking and holding the passenger door open for me.

This little black number always did that to them: with its wide slit going up to my right thigh and low dip in the front that stopped just above my navel. The only thing it lacked was sleeves, but that only complemented the way it snugly caressed every curve of my body. It was plain, but the peek-a-boo effect always got them—just something about seeing the sides of my breast peek through the front was a killer. I knew he'd be hypnotized the moment he saw me due to my effortless preparation; however, his gawking was putting me in a bad state of mind. In fact, he was doing everything except pleasing me right now.

"Pay me a compliment or close your mouth, Gordon," I told him with a sternness in my voice.

He smiled at me, and if it wasn't for his eyes, I wouldn't have even thought about returning the gesture. Still, all he got was my glare.

"Damn, baby. My bad," he spoke sheepishly, moments after my stare had burned him.

"We're not on a level for affectionate terms yet," I warned him. He wasn't even pretending to give a damn about me not being pleased with him the way I should have been, and he was minutes away from experiencing the worst night of his life because of it.

"We're not? You call me 'sweetheart' every other sentence." He winked and smirked at me before adding, " _Sweetheart_ ," just to piss me off.

I eyed him, and if he would have known what was good for him he would have caught onto the hint that he was on thin ice. "Not starting off on a good note, sweetheart."

He frowned and his neck twitched slightly before he spoke. "What happened since the last time we talked? I thought our little picnic went quite well."

I wouldn't answer him and just looked over the menu. It was quiet for a while as I decided I'd order the lobster stuffed manicotti.

"This is a nice place, though." I heard him clear his throat before he started talking, and I knew I was making him nervous now. It was actually funny because I'd never been able to make him nervous before. "Deklyne was basically begging a brother to bring her here the other day."

"Gordon." I called his name with caution because he was about to break yet another one of my rules just minutes after I was gracious enough to warn him about his failings.

"She must be out of her mind if she thinks I'm spending any more time or money on her ass than I absolutely have to."

He shook his head, and I couldn't hold back my laugh after watching his face turn sour just from the thought of Deklyne. "You better watch it. That is my sister," I said, feeling just a small amount of pity for her.

"My fault," he said, smiling with that beautiful sparkle in his eyes. "I don't mean any harm, but it's like that girl loves to piss me off just for the hell of it."

I nodded, knowing all too well. "She does have that quality. Still, do you remember what I told you?" I wanted him to know that I wasn't as irritated with him as I was before, but I was not about to stand for his slip ups either.

"What?" He frowned as he sipped on his wine, and I gave him a second look. He finally smiled at me and nodded. "Oh, my bad." He cleared his throat and sat up a bit straighter. "My sincerest apologies, Miss Heart. I promise for the rest of the evening, my thoughts will only be on you."

"You see that they are, sweetheart." I teased . . . only a little.

He laughed as he watched me, and though I usually hated for men to find anything about me comical, I found myself smiling at him. "Where did you get this demanding attitude from, baby?"

I shrugged, and before I had time to think I blurted out, "My mother."

"That woman must be hard, huh?" Hearing him say that bothered me, and I'm sure he could tell from the frown I gave him. "I was just, umm . . . saying how . . . I mean . . . " He stopped talking as I just glared at him, so he put his attention on fixing the silverware on the table. "How is she?" he finally asked before timidly putting his eyes on me.

"Why are you again asking me about her?" I asked him lowly, doing my damnedest to keep my emotions in check.

"I didn't—I just . . . I was just making. . . Damn, what's up? I just keep pissing you off tonight?"

"She is who she is, Gordon. Now for the last time, don't ask me about my mother," I instructed him, my demeanor still not relaxing.

"Noted. Twice. Bolded and underlined. Did you notice the bread basket I swiped from the table next to us? I took it when you went to the bathroom and dude was too busy watching you then his wife distracted the both of them when she started cussing him out. Now they got the hard ass bread." He lifted a piece to my lips. "Here, eat some of this."

"Gordon, stop it." I pushed the bread away, but smiled when he bit it and told me with a mouth full that I didn't know what I was missing.

It didn't take long for him to finally turn is act around, making me smile and laugh harder than I ever had in the process. After eating, he suggested we go back to his club to just talk. Up until that time I'd been pleased with him, so instead of instructing him to find us a more appealing place to go, I rode along with him to his club. However, it still hadn't been completed, and all the tools and plywood tables changed my mind on sight.

"Gordon listen, I was okay with this idea only because I assumed you had this place looking decent."

He smiled down at me, while locking the door behind us and then taking my coat off for me. "The unfinished look is kind of growing on me. I'm starting to wonder if things will be half as exciting when all of the pressure is gone and work is done."

I shook my head at him, not at all amused by his lack of understanding. "What about this place is glamorous?" I felt my irritation bubbling and my patience dwindling.

He looked around and walked up to a few work stations. "It's a work in progress, baby. Nothing is ever at its best without the work that builds it up." He gave me a sly look before licking his lips. "You can't be afraid of work; the more you put in, the better the results. Plus, the better the appreciation." His low and seductive tone was appealing to me, and at least for the moment, I thought it okay to give his opinions a chance.

"It takes me little effort, and I'm always at my best, sweetheart. I expect nothing but the best, not works in progress."

He finally came back over to me, placing a finger under my chin. He tilted my head up to him, and in seconds he'd left me breathless. The way he was looking at me threatened to unnerve me just because of the power I saw in his eyes. It was a power that I'm sure many other dumbass females so easily fell for.

Gordon was clearly not like any of the other men I handled, and that actually excited me. He knew I could toy with him; he even invited me to do it. Still, he had a way of controlling how far he was willing to be led.

"But you deserve so much more than what you think is the best."

I smiled at him, feeling a bit giddy at the way he could so easily tip the balance in his favor. "And what exactly do you mean by that?"

"I guess I'll have to work to show you that, huh?"

For a while he just held me and smiled down at me like I was his most prized possession, almost like there wasn't anything else in his life that he cared about more than me. I could just read all of that in his eyes. No doubt this wasn't the first time I'd been gazed at like I was a prize or maybe a trophy even, but those looks couldn't even attempt to match his. I always felt power when men stared at me. With Gordon it was hard to describe what this was.

This was strange for me, just standing here and looking at each other's faces—in each other's eyes. I've never been the _'_ _let's take things slow_ _'_ type. Had this been any other male, all I'd want to be doing right now is sexing. Gordon was different, though. He made me think differently, even if just for a moment. I liked feeling his arms around me and letting his charm attempt to subdue me. I hated when others tried it, but Gordon had a way to make me enjoy it. Strangely, I was willing to deal with it until I was done with him.

Holding off while my sisters tried to get him into bed wasn't feeling like it was just going to be entertaining to watch them. It almost made me feel like I might just enjoy being with Gordon until I was ready for the games to end.

"You know you got a fat ass, right? I like that about you."

It took a few seconds for what he said to register in my head, and as he just stood there dumbly smiling at me, he lost all favor he'd just earned. I pushed him away from me, and he only laughed.

"Really, Gordon? You go from ten to three so damn fast, it's amazing."

"I was just playing, baby." He continued to chuckle and tried to hold me, but I pushed him again.

"You're not a little boy. Only boys like playing, Gordon." I grabbed my coat from the table he'd placed it on and threw my arms into the sleeves. "Take me home," I demanded.

"I was playing," he said again, laughing as if that was acceptable.

"I don't give a good got damn. Take me home, now!"

"Damn, girl. When I met you, you was throwing the ass at me, telling me what all I needed to come with just to get a whiff of it. Now you want to act salty over a joke? I was jus—"

I didn't even give him a chance to finish and slapped the fire out of him. "When I say take me the fuck home, that's what I mean!" He gave me an icy stare, and that really set me off. I shoved him into one of the stations, sending him and some tools tumbling to the floor. "Who the hell you think you staring at like that!"

I was taught early in the game to stomp out any attempt at a challenge for authority, and that icy stare let me know I was giving this clown too much ground if he felt comfortable enough to eye me down like that. I had to break him in hard and quick.

He jumped up with the glare still on his face, but his tone was strangely calm. "You crazy ass"—I slapped him again, not understanding why he thought he had permission to talk. "Stop putting your fucking hands on me!" he yelled, grabbing my right arm.

His grip was obviously another attempt to stake some claim of dominance, but he was merely fighting a losing battle. I'm positive he grabbed my right arm because he figured that was the only hand I could do real damage with. Unfortunately for him, I was just as powerful with my left.

He had to learn his lesson never to cross me, so I punched him this time then pushed him hard enough to make him stumble over the fallen tools behind him. He didn't fall though, and I stomped over to him, determined to see him on his knees. He hadn't gotten his balance back yet, so it was easy enough to get him on the ground. I tried to knock more sense into his head, and I got two good hits in before he pulled me down and managed to get me under him and pin my arms above my head.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" he growled at me, and he was lucky he had the advantage at the moment.

"You have five seconds to get off me," I warned him, and his eyes hardened.

"Why did you go off like that?" he had the nerve to ask as if he had no clue what he'd done. "Over a damn joke?"

I tried to wiggle myself free, but he held tight. "I told you I don't play games, Gordon!"

"I made a joke!" he yelled back and squeezed my arms.

"You messed up the mood!" I corrected him. "Everything was nice! I thought you were . . . You turn it into—I don't joke! I don't like bullshit ass jokes!"

"Well say that shit with your mouth, not your hands!"

"Get off me, Gordon!" I tried to wiggle away again, but I could do nothing more than arch my back.

"Not until you calm down!" His frown deepened and his grip tightened.

"I'm really going to hurt you," I promised him in a cold tone.

He actually had the audacity to laugh in my face. "Girl, you are bold as a mother fucker. I will say that."

"And you ain't nothing but a waste of my time," I told him bitterly.

"You got my jaw hurting." He squinted his eyes at me as if he was telling me something of importance that I ought to be nervous or remorseful about.

"Boo fucking hoo," I merely told him with all the _'_ _fuck you_ _'_ feelings I had.

"Now if I knock the hell out of you I'd be wrong, huh?"

"Try it, bitch," I quickly dared him.

"Watch what you call me, woman." He loosened his grip on me a little, but when I tried to pull free, he tightened it again. "Grown ass woman and acting like this."

"I told you I don't put up with bullshit."

"I ain't know that meant you would beat my ass!" he fussed with daggers in his eyes.

"Now you do," I said in a softening tone, and I became more upset with myself at that instant.

"Whoo," he said dramatically and shaking his head. "Woman, you lucky I'm not some—" He cut himself off and shook his head again, and I was waiting on him to say something else stupid to me. "You lucky."

"Keep talking," I told him with my own threatening squint in my eyes.

He just watched me for a few seconds, but I couldn't read his expression. His eyes looked darker than usual, but they still had that Gordon glint that I doubted he could hide even if he wanted to. For a while, all that could be heard was the light hum of some kind of machine and our faint breathing. The silence was starting to piss me off more, but there was something that wouldn't let me continue to curse him out like I wanted to.

"You still got a fat ass," he said in a challenging tone.

Neither one of us did anything for seconds then I saw a smile tugging at his lips. As hard as I tried, I couldn't hold in my laughter. He didn't laugh with me, but he finally got up and lifted me to my feet with ease.

On the drive to my home, neither of us said a word. It was out of his character to be so quiet, and it was probably because he was still upset. If he was waiting on me to apologize though, he was mighty disappointed. Once we reached my driveway, I didn't even give him a chance to say goodnight. I was out of his car and in my house in less than thirty seconds.

## Eighteen : Terri

Wednesday had come, and like most of the days I expected Deklyne to drive me home, I sat waiting hours after my last class. I really didn't want to run into any of the people I usually had to get a ride from in this situation, so I made my way to the campus library and up to the computer lab. I decided I'd just study or something until Neila was off and then call her.

Before I could sign in for one of the computer stations though, I felt someone tap me on my waist. I froze instead of turning around, terrified that it was Thomas about to go off because of what Gordon had done. I hadn't seen him in a few days, but that was his style when he was angry with me; he'd stay away, letting me anticipate what would happen the next time he saw me then he'd completely go off, making sure it was always worse than what I imagined.

"Terri." The male's voice was low, and I didn't hear friendliness in it. "Terri, turn around."

I didn't do it immediately or in a fluid motion, but I eventually did as he said. To my relief it was Brentin, but he still wore that same frown he always had on when I was around him.

"Why are you still here?" he asked.

I didn't know why he was talking to me, but I knew he probably didn't want to be. I mean, he frowns every time I'm near him. I just figured Kevin or someone had sent him to look for me, but he'd rather be doing something else. That much was evident by his expression and tone of voice. I didn't want to bother him anymore, so I just grabbed my two books from the counter and briskly walked out of the library.

I'd gotten to the second floor of the building when I felt hands pulling me away from the stairwell and maneuvering me into the corner nearby. He didn't say anything for a few seconds, just stared at me with that intimidating scowl.

"Terri, that was rude as hell. All I did was ask you a question."

Something should have come out of my mouth, an explanation, an excuse, an apology, anything. Unfortunately for me, my mouth wouldn't work.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked with his glare deepening, causing me to clam up more.

Maybe it was my _flight_ or flight response that kicked in because the next thing I tried was to step around him, but he stepped in front of me and gripped my arm.

"I'm just trying to be nice to you."

I shook my head at his words and tried to back away from him, but the wall stopped me. Hearing those words come from his lips felt like a punch to my stomach. I'd heard that line from them so many times before. They always told me they were just trying to be nice to me and that I should appreciate them, and the only thing registering in my mind was that the torture was about to start all over again. I was about to have another guy trying to make me believe he was doing me some favor by letting me sleep with him. I couldn't go through that with someone else. What signal was I giving off that these creeps could always single me out?

I pushed him away from me this time, but he grabbed my arm to keep me from going too far. I saw a group of girls walk by, and the thought to scream for help came to mind but quickly left. I hadn't seen the worst of Brentin yet, and I didn't want to bring it out this early by upsetting him too much. I didn't resist when he made me face him again, but once I saw his eyes, fear took over my mind and actions.

"Please let me go home?" I begged him, feeling my heart about to jump out of my chest. He just watched me with his frown, but he wouldn't let me go. "Please?" I pleaded again, having to choke back a shaky voice.

"I just wanted to see if you had a ride yet. I saw you sitting out there waiting before I went to my last class, and you're still here."

"I don't need one. I don't need one." I frantically threw my words out of my mouth and slightly tugged my arm to me, still cautious not to do anything that might set him off. His grip never loosened, though.

"Terri, will you calm down if I let you go? I don't want you running off. I just want to give you a ride home if you need one."

"I don't," I practically cried.

He pulled me closer to him, holding both of my arms now and almost causing me to drop my books. "Calm down. If you really don't want a ride, that's fine with me, but I don't want you acting scared of me. I'm not trying to hurt you."

He reminded me so much of Thomas. He wouldn't let me leave; he wouldn't let me go, yet he didn't want me to be scared of him. He wanted me to be okay with the things he wanted to do to me just so he wouldn't feel like some creep.

"I want to go," I barely got my request out because it was getting harder for me to breath.

"Okay, okay. Just calm down? You're shaking." He started rubbing my shoulders and neck a little and more warnings went off in my head.

"I want to go home!" I blurted out.

"Terri!" He shook me a bit, and I was quiet.

After watching and making sure I wouldn't scream anymore, he grabbed my hand and quickly led me down the rest of the steps. I wanted so badly to pull away from him, but I was too afraid. He finally let my hand go once we made it to the vending machines, but he placed my back on the machine and held a hand on my stomach while he paid for a drink. I knew I wouldn't be able to hold my tears back for much longer, and he started pulling me outside just as I closed my eyes in effort to lock them in. We didn't stop until we were in a secluded spot against the building, the same spot Kevin liked to drag me to between classes.

As soon as Brentin dropped his hand to open the bottle of water, I tried to make my escape, but he held me again. This time he used his body to push me completely against the wall, and he held my cheek with his hand. I saw his face coming closer to mine, and I started to panic and hyperventilate.

"No—no—no—"

"Terri? Terri! Just drink this. Calm down, and drink this. Okay?" He pushed the water bottle closer to my face, but I dodged it, spilling some water on my shirt. "Terri, you have to breath. Look at me."

I didn't want to listen to him or look at him; the only thing I wanted was to get away from him. Nothing in my head—in my body would work right until I was away from him.

"Look at me, Terri?"

I tried to push pass him again, but he backed me up and held my chin to make me look at him. I snapped my eyes shut, and still struggled to breath.

"Okay. Fine. Close your eyes, but you have to calm down before you pass out."

That warning came too little too late because my body was already about to give out. I tried to push away from him one last time before I collapsed to the floor. His arms were around me in an instant though, keeping me from hitting the ground. He squatted in front of me and angled my head back before pouring the water in my mouth, which was completely dry now. My throat was no better, and I just started coughing the water back up.

He sat down beside me and held me as he rubbed my back then tried again to get me to drink. This time I could, and he held the bottle until I turned my head, unable to verbally ask him to move it. For a few minutes, we just sat there as I caught my breath and my senses.

"You're okay now?"

I hesitated before answering him, but then I nodded and rested my head on my knees.

"I'm sorry," he said after another long moment of silence. "I just wanted to offer you a ride home. I didn't mean to give you a panic attack."

"I'm fine," I tried to assure him, but he shook his head at me.

"No you're not," he told me as he began rubbing my back again. "We can sit right here for a little while. I don't mind, but I'll leave if you want me to."

"I just want to go home."

He nodded and looked down. "Okay. Well, can I at least take you home? I don't want you walking or riding the city bus by yourself."

"You don't have to."

"I still want to."

I didn't know what to say to him. Letting him take me home only to find out he was just like all the rest of them wasn't what I wanted, but neither was walking home or waiting two more hours for Neila. "You just want to take me home?"

"Yeah. I have to go pick up my little sister in thirty minutes, and I don't want her walking home by herself either. You're on the way, so why not?"

"I don't want to be a burden to you."

He stood up and grabbed my books before helping me up. "Come on, Terri." He actually smiled at me this time, but I couldn't bring myself to return the gesture.

In no time at all, he was pulling into my driveway, and to my surprise Gordon was waiting there and propped on his car. His nonchalant expression soon changed to anger when he saw who I was in the car with. He didn't hesitate before he snatched open my door.

"Who the hell is that?" he questioned loud enough for Brentin to hear.

Brentin and I both got out of the car, and I had no clue how to explain things to Gordon. I didn't even understand what I was supposed to be explaining. "He's a friend," I said, barely above a whisper.

"Friend my ass. What I told you about these niggas?" he fussed at me.

"You shouldn't be hollering at her like that." Brentin closed his door and came over to move me away from Gordon.

Gordon gripped my elbow though and shoved Brentin back. "Don't touch her, man. That's the last thing you want to do right now."

"I'm not about to fight with you about this, but I'm not going to let you scream in her face either."

"You better hop back in your big wheel and get up out of here."

Brentin paused before speaking again, and I figured Gordon was irritating him. "I think you're a bit too old for her, sir." It was clear Brentin wasn't using that term as a form of respect, and Gordon's brow twitched because of it. "Don't you think it would be more appropriate if you dealt with women around your own age?"

Gordon gave a fake laugh and took a few steps with me toward his car. "Real funny, _sonny_. Now that you've dropped her off, you can go 'head on about your business."

Brentin wouldn't say anything for a while as he just gave Gordon a death stare then he finally looked at me. "Terri, you're alright with him?"

"Fuck you mean is she alright with me? Yeah she's alright with me."

"With all due respect, I wasn't talking to you," Brentin said, and I heard the forced control in his voice.

"I'm fine, Brentin," I uneasily said. I wasn't sure how far Gordon was going to go, but I didn't want him being as rough with Brentin as he was with Thomas.

"Brentin? The hell kind of name is that?"

Brentin just ignored Gordon's comment and gave me another look. His frown was back in its place, and I had a feeling I'd pay for this incident the next time he saw me. After a few more unkind words from Gordon, Brentin finally got in his car and left. I tried to go inside, but Gordon still had my arm.

"What I told you about them dudes?"

"He was just giving me a ride home," I tried to explain.

"What about the dude whose ass I was just about knock out, over here talking about he came to see you and you owed him something? I know what the hell he wanted."

"Who?"

"Kelvin or some shit."

"Kevin."

"Whoever he was, with his ole' chocolate ass."

I snatched away from him after he said that, "Yeah, his complexion is really something to make fun of," I angrily mumbled, but I'm sure he heard me.

He just laughed and started following me to the door. "That dude know he chocolate." He tried to wrap an arm around my shoulder, but I shrugged him off.

"So what?" I whipped around to face him, not sure what I was doing or why I suddenly felt the need to do it. "Why is that something to laugh at?"

He frowned as if he felt caught off guard. "I wasn't making fun—I just—"

"It's not something to laugh at!"

"You're upset that I made a joke about him even when he was only over here to be a man slut?"

"You don't know why he or Brentin was over here."

He laughed again, and I just narrowed my eyes at him. "That name is hilarious, and you know it. _Brentin, would you please pass mayonnaise_?" he mimicked the name and spoke with a British accent then he chuckled again.

"Is everything a joke to you?"

He looked at me with agitation, and that one look was enough to rattle my nerves. "Terri, calm down, baby. It's not that serious."

He was the first person I'd ever met who didn't treat me as if I was nothing but instead made me feel like my feelings actually mattered, but as soon as I found the nerve to speak on my feelings—he starts to prove that everyone in this world is exactly the same.

"Not to you maybe," I expressed with less boldness than I had before.

It was becoming harder for me to believe he really cared about what I had to say. Maybe I was stupid for thinking he wasn't an asshole like everybody else just because he said he wasn't. People lie, especially assholes.

"True. It's not serious to me."

I pushed the door open, and I couldn't resist the urge to close it in his face. I ran up to my room, but it wasn't long before he was standing in the doorway. "I don't want you in my room, Gordon."

"Why the hell are you always giving me attitude?"

"Because you lied!" I screamed at him and closed the door in his face again. It was that instant I felt my emotions starting to go haywire. I felt stupid for yelling at him, but it hurt to know he lied to me. "You are just as messed up as everybody else!" I spoke again, and I couldn't understand why it was so hard to keep my mouth shut when I was around him.

"Terri, how?" I heard his voice close to the door, and I knew it would have been better if he would have just left. "Cause I ain't want you messing with those niggas?" I wouldn't say anything, and I could hear him sigh. "I was just trying to look out for you."

"It's not even about that!" I felt myself shaking, and I knew it was time for me to stop talking to him. "Will you just go away?" I went to lay on my bed, and I didn't hear him for a few minutes. I just assumed he walked away, but then my door opened.

"If you ain't want me to come in you should've locked your shit." I still held my tongue as he walked over to sit next to me. "What the hell did I do that got you crying?" He reached to wipe my face, but I just turned my back to him. "So you either give me attitude or the silent treatment?" I still remained quiet, and he sighed before patting my thigh. "I'm just here to finish up some things with Deklyne. I wasn't over here to poke around in your business. I'm not trying to monitor your love life."

I felt the bed shift as he stood up, and I let out a relieved breath.

"For whatever I did or said, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

He left me alone after that, and I couldn't do anything but think about how funny he thought it was that Kevin was a darker tone than most people. Even if he did think it was a harmless joke, it wasn't to me. I always prayed that issue would stop bothering me so much, but it just wouldn't go away. Not to mention it was harder to ignore with people always making stupid jokes about it. What hurt the most though was when I tried to tell him how I felt and he just dismissed me and tried to justify it. He was just like everybody else. If it's not important to them it doesn't matter.

## Nineteen : Deklyne

I felt a hot pulse race from the pit of my stomach as I watched Gordon sit at the kitchen island and stare blankly ahead of him. For the past fifteen minutes that had been all he'd done besides playing with his empty cup, acting as if he couldn't wait to leave. Yesterday it was basically the same thing with him too. The only time he'd shown any emotion was when he was concerned with whatever the hell was wrong with Terri. I actually had to hold him back twice from going in her room to check on her.

Today though, he just didn't seem to give a damn to be here at all. It was really starting to annoy me, but I kept thinking about my trip to Milan and all the sexy men I would soon be freaking. The only thing keeping my mouth in check was the thought that now Gordon would be of more use to me than for just a paycheck and a good laugh.

Continuously dealing with his dead personality was making this stupid bet more work than I thought it would be, though. I felt like I had to drag words out of his mouth every time we talked. Like now—he wouldn't even put his eyes on me no matter if he was talking to me or not. I thought about screaming just to see what his reaction would be, but then I decided to see if Neila had put up the leftovers like she was supposed to, but she hadn't. I slammed the refrigerator door closed and huffed, causing Gordon's eyes to finally land on me.

"She didn't put up the rest of the pasta," I complained, hoping to finally start some type of conversation.

"Who?" he asked with his uncaring mask covering his face, and just like that his eyes were back to that damn glass and rolling it back and forth between his fingers.

"Neila. I'm hungry, and her simple ass forgot to put up the food last night."

"Terri just made herself a plate."

"What?" Hearing that bitch's name come from his mouth for the umpteenth time was like hearing nails slide across a chalkboard. He had more to say about her than he did me, and I was the one standing here in his face. "She knew I would want some."

"She asked you if you did, and you told her not to talk to you while you were working."

I rolled my eyes and went to stand at the island again. I watched him for a while, still curious about how Dani could snag him so easily. He wasn't an idiot like the other men she had her way with; he was more the type who I could have my way with.

I knew he'd gone out with Dani nights ago, and she made it seem as if she'd put Gordon in his place and already had him wrapped around her finger. Knowing that and with his behavior for the past few days only irritated me to think that Dani was probably why he wasn't as focused as he usually was. Other days he couldn't keep his eyes or his hands off of me. Having that gut feeling was about to make me go off on him, but it was obvious Dani would have the upper hand when this thing started. I knew I would just have to use this as motivation.

"If you would just take me out to that restaurant I've been telling you about instead of wanting to meet me here, I could be eating."

"I told you, that's not necessary. We need to get business done, not find places to spend money." He was talking in such an offhanded manner that if I actually cared about him, it would probably sting that he was being so uninterested in everything.

I frowned but knew I would just have to push pass it. "Why wouldn't you want to spend money on me?"

"I just don't see the need to waste money there when we'd just be there to talk business."

"It doesn't have to be all about business," I tried to explain to him. It felt like I was just leading the slow and retarded, though.

"Yes it does." He turned the cup upside down and made it spin on its rim. "Now that we have that clarified, can we focus so I can get up out of here? We don't need all of this extra talk."

I really couldn't believe his attitude. I'd done nothing to him all day, purposely being on my best behavior. "You really are being rude today, Gordon."

"I'm just trying to get this done. I have other things to take care of." He made the cup spin again, and I had to snatch my hand back to keep from grabbing the damn thing.

"We're doing this for your club." I silently added moron to the end of my sentence. "You need to show a bit more enthusiasm."

"We didn't need to do half of this for the last party. We only met up about five times."

For a second I just looked at him, a little jilted that he'd been counting the times he'd been around me as if he'd already seen enough of me. "Because you didn't want that party as blown out as you want this one," I defended, and the thought crossed my mind to hit him in the face with that cup.

"Today is Thursday, and the party is Saturday." Annoyance was everywhere in his voice. "We've already pushed the date back because of all the extra things you wanted to do." He sighed before finishing his tantrum. "If we don't have it done by now, it's not going to get done."

"You shouldn't underestimate me, Gordon. If I want something done, it gets done," I told him with my eyebrows nearly on the roof and complete seriousness in my eyes. He had no idea what all I was going to make sure got done whether he was willing or not.

He let out another one of his heavy sighs to bring me out of my plotting thoughts. "Fine, Deklyne. I still need to be out of here within the next hour."

"Dammit, Gordon! Why are you acting like you don't want to be around me?"

He chuckled and rubbed his face. "If I am acting a certain way, I'm sure it has nothing to do with you, baby. I'm just a very busy man." The shrug he gave let me know he was lying and was just saying whatever BS that came to his head so he could find an excuse to leave.

I was so pissed at him right then, and I could hear Dani's words ringing in my ears, _"_ _It's not his job to be with me, it's his pleasure_ _."_ How the hell could he act as if it was so unbearable to be around me?

I'm not an idiot because I know exactly what it is he sees in Dani, but I have those same qualities. I may not be completely on Dani's level, but I'm not far off her trail and what I have is plenty. I could be in Dani's shoes if I wanted to, commanding every man's attention. I didn't want every man, though. I just wanted to sleep with Gordon and get my trip to Milan. Dani wasn't the only one who could command his attention, and he needed to know that.

"Gordon, I don't like the way you've been treating me," I told him, picturing Dani in my head, giving him a list of rules he had to follow just for him to be allowed to speak to her. If he needed to be put on a tighter leash, I could do that. I could probably teach Dani a thing or two while I was at it.

"How have I been treating you?" He set his cup away from him and finally gave me his full attention. I could tell he was getting irritated, but it was my turn to put him in his place.

"You're not going to ignore me when we're together." I stared him down to let him know I was the one that was going to control this arrangement we were about to start.

"How the hell am I ignoring you? We're having a conversation right now." His frowning bothered me, but I knew I had to focus on getting his slow ass to understand one thing before jumping to another lesson.

"You're only answering my questions. Having a conversation is more than that."

He gave me a bitter chuckle, and I cocked an eyebrow at him. "Didn't you come to my house and fuss me out, telling me all I was supposed to do was agree with you and then sit my ass in a corner?"

"If you were smart enough to understand words, you'd know I didn't say all of that."

"Man, whatever," he said shaking his head. "You want me to treat you better, it's noted. Can we get back to business so I can go?"

His disrespect was really starting to push me over the edge. At the moment, I actually had to take a second to keep from jumping over the island to choke him. "I'm not going to keep putting up with you."

"Putting up with what?" he fussed. "Deklyne, what shit are you smoking? It must be good if it got you this far into la-la land."

I did my best to keep my tone clear and calm because I knew his dumb ass wouldn't understand what I was about to say any other way. "You're going to start playing by my rules, Gordon. I deserve better than this, and you will deliver exactly what I want." I placed my hands flat on the island and leaned in towards him. "The most important thing you need to understand is that what I want is more important than what you want. You don't talk back to me or make ridiculous faces when I'm talking to you. You ask for my permission before you do anything, and you make sure everything you do is up to my standards." I looked him over as I thought over my list, making sure I hadn't forgotten anything too important. "Now you better straighten up, and as soon as I approve of you, I'll reward you."

He just stared at me for a few seconds before walking out of the kitchen. I shot out behind him, flattening myself on the front door to slam it after he'd opened it.

"Move, Deklyne," he said calmly, but I was pissed the hell off now.

"Did you not hear anything I just said in there?"

He stepped closer to me, placing my head between his hands as he palmed them against the door then he lowered his face to mine. "I do not care what any of you women think you deserve. I for damn sure don't deserve the madness y'all crazy asses keep dishing out."

"Get out of—"

"I ain't finished talking," he fussed. "Listen to me good, Deklyne. Don't ever talk to me like that again. I'm not a dog that you teach tricks to then reward. You don't tell me what I want is not important. You don't tell me not to talk back to you when you stay saying dumb garbage to me, and you for damn sure don't tell me I need your permission to do anything. I'm a grown ass man. You can't give me a list of commands on how to act, especially when it's not my ass that needs to straighten up."

"So you can just do what you want and I have to accept it? Hell no!" He jumped back a little after I yelled. "You don't get to keep pissing me off." I didn't understand why he was talking to me like that. I knew there was no way in hell he would say any of these things to Dani and live to see the next day. "You better start—"

"Anytime I've done something offensive to you, I've apologized. I have a mother that raised me right."

On reaction, I slapped him away from me. "Fuck you!" I screamed, hearing emotions in my voice about to surface, emotions that I thought had died years ago. I tried to control myself and quiet the things that were about to start exploding in my head, but I couldn't. "You don't know my mother!"

He held his cheek with an agitated smile on his face. I could care less about his feelings right now, though. "You would think I would've learned by now, huh? What is wrong with y'all? You don't just go around slapping mother fuckers! I promise one of these days—"

"Don't you ever talk about my mother!" I felt my body begin to shake as I tried to force my thoughts into a different direction. I didn't need to think about that BS, but it really shouldn't even be affecting me now. I'd put that women and everything concerning her away years ago.

"I ain't say one thing about her!" he yelled at me.

I literally wanted to kill him for acting like such an idiot. It would have been so easy. I could have given him the same cocktail I gave Mr. Buttons or dropped a brick on his head just like Miss. Klaws. Granted his head is a lot bigger than a cat's, but I'm sure it all boils down to the same result. Plus he deserves it. He knew what he did. He knew it!

"You just said she didn't raise me! You son of a bitch! Don't you ever!" I slammed my hands behind me on the door, feeling myself losing the battle to keep my tears away.

He backed away from me and put his hands up. "Look, I just want to take my black ass home. Can I please do that? Cause I'm real sick of this. The slightest thing out my mouth and everybody lose their damn minds. Gotdamn Sisterhood of Assholes, Maniacs, and Abusers," he fussed and started coming towards the door again. "I ain't bringing my ass around y'all no more, that's for damn sure."

"You don't know my mother!" I shouted at him again, and he stopped. "She was just as good as your mother or any other mother!" I don't even know how I was able to spit that lie out of my mouth, but I felt like I had to do it. He couldn't know my mother thought so little of me that she'd rather pretend I didn't exist than deal with me. "She was—She made . . . I was important to her!"

For a while he just looked at me, and I could see a lot of the anger he first had fading from his face. "Okay, I understand that," he said in a more relaxed tone.

Again the thought to kill him popped in my head. At that moment the idea seemed so simple, so right. He had nothing but pity on his face. He didn't need to pity me. I didn't care about his anger. I preferred his anger, but I didn't need his damn pity.

I was just about to curse him out for it and fix this whole situation, but I couldn't think of anything to say to piss him off. "Don't ever talk about my mother!" I couldn't think of anything else to say. One mention of that bitch and she took over my entire mental state.

"Deklyne, I didn't even mention your mother. Alright?" His voice was still light, and even though that was enough to make me want to scratch his eyes out, I couldn't find the strength to move anymore. "But I'm sorry I even brought up the topic of mine. I did not know it would hit you that hard." He slowly walked over to me, sliding me from the door. "Clearly you're dealing with something deep right now, so I'm going to give you some space."

He kept his eyes on me for a while as he stood in the open doorway, but I couldn't look at him. Even after he'd been gone for minutes, I still couldn't move from my spot. I didn't make the slightest movement until Terri stopped at the bottom of the stairs.

"Are . . . Are you okay?" Her voice was low.

I saw her disgusting eyes on me, and I saw the pity she had in them. "Why are looking at me!"

"I just . . . I just wanted to check on you." I said nothing to her, and she took a slow step up. "I saved some of the pasta—"

"You think I want your leftovers! You're a fucking pig!"

I sprinted after her, screaming at her things I could barely make out myself. She ran away from me and tried to close me out of her room, but I slammed the door into her and knocked her on the floor. I called her every filthy name she deserved to be called, then slapped her around until I was tired. After that I just watched her, huddled up on the floor. She was pathetic. She would never be worth anything.

"Shut up with all your crying! That's all you do," I fussed with tears still fresh on my face. "I hate you!" I pushed her head down before pacing a little. "She always thought you were better than me. _'_ _Terri's so much prettier than you. Terri's so much smarter than you. Terri's worth so much more than you_ _'_." I repeated the lies my mother would always say to me before disappearing days on end to have special trips with her favorite little bitch. "Terri! Terri! Terri! You thought you were her favorite, but she left you just like she did the rest of us, didn't she?"

I was ready to leave her there in her filth, but something hit me in my back before I was out of the door. It was heavy and hurt like hell, and when I turned around, Terri charged me and knocked us both to the ground.

"You think she only hurt you!" She started punching me, but she was weak. She didn't even know how to use the advantage she had.

I flipped her off of me easily and started punching her until her lip was busted. Once I was sure she would stay huddled in her little ball, I got off of her. She was pathetic. How the hell could that woman think she was better than me?

"Learn how to fight first, idiot."

I jogged down the steps, grabbing my purse and snatching my keys and phone out. Once I was driving, I called Maurice. He didn't answer the first call, but I called right back, and he answered after the first ring.

"I need to come over," I fussed, and I knew he could hear the tears in my voice.

"What's wrong?" His tone was gentle, and I hated when he acted concerned for me.

"Just shut up! I'm almost there so have the door unlocked."

"I had to pick up a shift today. I'm not home yet." Excuse after excuse was always leaving his mouth, yet he wondered why I was trying to keep my distance from him.

"Fuck you, Maurice!"

"I get off in an hour. Okay? Just let me—"

"I'm not waiting for you."

"Deklyne—"

"I'm not waiting for you! Cris wouldn't make me wait."

I just hung up on him and dialed Cris' number once I was at a red light. He didn't answer until the third call. I knew it was because he was sleeping. After switching to the night shift, it became harder for him to stay awake during the day.

"I need to come over," I cried and barely got my sentence out when I finally spoke to him.

"Baby, what's wrong? What happened?"

"I need to come see you."

"I don't want you driving while you're this upset. I'll come pick you up."

"I'm already on your street."

"Alright. I'll be outside when you pull up."

As soon as I pulled into his driveway, he was right there like he said he would be. I didn't get out of my car, though. I didn't even turn it off; I just sat there crying. He rushed over to me and cut it off before carrying me into his half of the duplex. He carried me all the way to his room and then laid with me in his bed.

"I hate her, Cris," I coughed out, and he just rubbed my back. "I hate her. She should've been there—she should've—" I couldn't even finish my thought because of my crying and inability to breathe right.

"It'll be okay. Just calm down." He brushed my hair and kissed my forehead. "You have me looking out for you, baby. I'll always be right here. Okay?" I didn't respond to him, and he tightened his grip on me. "Okay?" he asked again, and I finally nodded.

He lifted my chin to kiss me, and a few tears slipped from me eyes. I still kissed him back, pushing myself as close to him as I could. I laid my head on his chest to hear his heartbeat. I was hoping my own heartbeat would slow down to match his calm rhythmic beat.

For a long while, he just held me and my tears finally started to dry. "Terri has her eyes," I told him, but he just kissed the top of my head. I knew he didn't know what to say, but I didn't need him to say anything. More importantly, I didn't need him to ask anything.

## Twenty : Neila

I stepped off the elevator, a little more upbeat than usual. The day had gone by fast and without any drama and for that I was thankful. Luke had already left fifteen minutes prior, and now all I had to do was concentrate on what to cook the girls for dinner.

As I got closer to my car and walked up to another elevator bank, I heard two male voices laughing with each other just past the wall. I was undaunted by the ruckus they were keeping up until I was able to recognized Luke's distinctive laugh; that's when I froze. I knew I would have to walk pass him to get to my car, but I was previously floating on cloud nine after thinking I was about to go a complete day without running into him. I didn't want to give that up just yet.

I waited for almost five minutes for them to leave, but I soon grew impatient and stalked past the corner. However, the sight of Gordon stopped me once again. Seeing the both of them was more than I bargained for. Thankfully, neither of them spotted me, and I looked for a different route to take. Unfortunately, there was none, so I knew I would just have to suck it up and pretend they didn't affect me. Nevertheless, I was still having difficultly inching too far from my spot.

"How did that date go with the young lady you canceled on me for?" Luke asked him and laughed. Gordon smirked and rubbed the back of his head, but he didn't verbalize anything. "Nice ending, huh?" Luke laughed again, and I couldn't stop my face from twisting up. I really did hate his smile.

"I can guarantee it's not a lasting relationship," Gordon said, and I thought to myself that he probably wasn't even looking for anything more than a woman to call to his bed only when it pleased him. What in all that is sane could either of my sisters possibly see in him?

Just then our little parlay popped into my head. I for one did not have the tiniest want to be involved in this venture, so my plan was to ignore them and walk right to my car. That's when Terri's face came to my mind and so did her not wanting to come out of her room when her friend came by yesterday. It broke my heart every time she chose to hide out in her room instead of going out and living life.

After heaving out a low sigh, I found myself standing next to the rear of what I assumed to be Gordon's car. Seconds ticked by before the both of them realized another individual had joined them, and their glares soon began to burn me. No clue came to me about what to say or do at that moment, and butterflies began dancing in my stomach when I noticed just how intense Gordon's stare actually was.

I let out a long breath and deliberately watched my footing as I took three slow steps toward Gordon. When I held my head back up to look at him still no words had entered my head as to what to say, and nothing came from their mouths either. I switched my briefcase and purse from my right to my left hand then patted my thigh with my free hand.

"Well, this is . . ." I lifted my free hand up in bafflement, not really knowing what was supposed to come out of my mouth next. "I'm trying to figure out a way to say this." It was clear that Gordon knew I was talking to him, but he wouldn't give me any type of reaction. "So, how are you?" I asked in a forced relaxed tone.

He took a moment before he answered me. "Fine," was all he said in a terse tone.

I merely nodded and looked at the remaining row of cars. My car was there, and I wanted nothing more than to sprint to it and remove myself from this man's presence. "That's great." I nodded again, calculating how many steps it would take me to walk to my car versus me running to it. "That's really great." I finally looked over to Luke, and his stare was just as intense as Gordon's, and I was tempted to ask just what their problem was. "I take it you two had a meeting about your little business, Gordon."

"It's not a little business," he told me curtly.

"Well it's not a fortune five hundred, now is it?" I shot back.

"Neila, don't come over here harassing me about stealing your work anymore," Luke spoke up as if I'd somehow offended him.

"I'm not over here for you," I explained to him with my own agitation. I sighed once again and couldn't even look at Gordon as I tried to force my next words out of my mouth. "Gordon, I wanted to know if I could talk to you privately."

"What do you need to talk to him about?" Luke interjected once again.

"Privately," I took a second to glare at him, "would mean I don't want anyone else to know, Luke. At least, that is my understanding of the word."

"We can talk right here," Gordon told me with a frown.

I was a bit caught off guard by his short attitude, and he was causing my own anger to start bubbling. "I would hardly call this a place to hold a decent conversation."

"Talk right here or not at all." He seemed so to the point right now and undaunted by my attempt to persuade him.

"Wow." I watched him a second and gave him a disbelieving smile and teehee. "The one time I invite you to come talk with me and you make it difficult."

"I've lost interest in wanting to talk to any of you women. You all feel too inclined to slap me for the slightest thing that comes out of my mouth."

I actually wanted to laugh. I had a feeling he was referring to at least one of my sisters. Telling him that he needed to grow up before interacting with a woman almost came out of my mouth, but I just sighed in content. "Well Gordon, I need you to come out with me."

"Well Neila, I need you to not work my nerves."

I snapped my mouth closed on the words I wanted to say to him and then bit my lip. I would just have to make sure this thing was over sooner rather than later, so I could finally express what I honestly thought of him. For now, he'd get the best I could give of myself, no matter what the cost. Terri was worth that much and more.

"Okay, let's be honest," I started and put my head down to say a quick prayer for strength. The moment I looked back up, the both of them still had their eyes blaring down on me. My determination was intact despite it all. "I know I've been a bit much to take, so because of that," I took another moment to push away my lingering resistance, "I'd like to take you out to make amends."

"What?" Luke's tone was hard, but I mentally dismissed him.

"You want to explain what exactly you're trying to do?" Gordon asked, and skepticism covered his entire face.

"I just told you exactly what I'm trying to do."

"Why do you want to make amends?"

I frowned, not knowing why I needed an explanation to do something that I didn't have to be doing in the first place. I was seconds away from asking where his gratitude was. Instead, I just smiled and gave a baffled laugh. "I just want to apologize."

"You're just trying to butter him up to get information from him," Luke accused me.

"That is the only time you've actually wanted to talk to me," Gordon said, joining in on the accusation.

"Excuse me, but all I was merely trying to do was apologize to you, Gordon. If you want to think otherwise, I can't help your thoughts or assumptions because I will not beg you to take my apology." I really wanted to do this for Terri, but I was starting to think I'd have to come up with another plan that didn't involve me dealing with this prick.

"If you just want to apologize to him, apologize. You don't need to go out with him."

"What exactly does this have to do with you?" I asked Luke, giving him the meanest look I could. "If I want to apologize to him through dinner, that's just what I'm going to do. Gordon, just get in your car and follow me."

"No," Gordon fussed at me. "I'm not a thing to just command."

"That wasn't a command."

"It damn sure wasn't a request," he shot back as if I'd actually bruised him with what I'd said.

My patience had just about run thin, but now Luke was driving me to get Gordon to have dinner with me. "Gordon, I honestly just want to go sit down with you, apologize, and let bygones be bygones. I didn't think a generic _'_ _I'm sorry_ _'_ would suffice," I took in a deep breath, praying he would hear sincerity in my voice, "Actions speak much louder than words ever could, and I only hoped to express that to you." I waited a few seconds for his reaction, but there was none. "And just for the record, I wasn't trying to command you. If you don't want to go out with me, I certainly do not want to feel as if I had to force you to do it." I turned to walk away; however, he called me causing me to face him again.

He didn't speak for a while, and I almost turned and left. "If you're asking then I think it would be nice to have dinner with you tonight," he finally said.

"Wait a minute. Gordon you—"

"How about we meet at Beiley's? I can make it up to you for that," I shrugged not knowing what to call it, "mishap that happened the last time." He just smirked at me and nodded.

"Neila, you have to make dinner for your sisters," Luke tried to instruct me.

"They're both grown women, Luke. I don't have to go home and cook for them." He angrily eyed me as I recited his exact line back to him that he so frequently used on me, and when Gordon patted his back and said goodnight, he gave the same angry look to Gordon.

Gordon, however, didn't notice it as he opened his door and kept smirking at me. "I guess I'll see you in about twenty."

"Sounds good," I forced out with a plastered smile.

I finally made my way to my car, with Luke right on my heels. "You're really about to go out with him?"

"I am," I said and frowned, not understanding why it was so important to him. After hearing him sigh, a light went on in my head. "Luke, I'm not trying to steal him from you. I'm nothing like you."

"I didn't steal him—"

I hurried into my car and slammed the door on his words. I didn't have the energy to listen to him now that I was forced to spend an evening with Gordon. It took about twenty-five minutes to meet Gordon in the parking lot, and he came over to my door and held it open for me. I stepped out, but before we could go anywhere, my phone went off. Without a thought I answered, and Deklyne was whining on the other end.

"No, I'm not on my way home," I told her as I closed my door. Gordon looked at me, and I just pointed to the phone and held my finger up to him.

"I'm hungry, Neila," she informed me as if she were incapable to do anything about it.

"Well cook," I impassively told her, not yet buying into her dramatics.

"Cook what? I don't know what to cook. Where are you?"

"You know how to order out," I told her and ignored her prodding question. I really did not want her to know I was out with Gordon.

"I ate out yesterday with Cris. I can't eat out every night."

"I cooked yesterday, eat the leftovers."

"Terri ate them again." She did her little noise she uses to get me to give in. "You know how down I've been lately. I need you here and your cooking. It always makes me feel better."

"Deklyne, I have plans for tonight."

"Why is that more important than your sister?"

I took a second to let out a breath. She knew it bothered me when she said things like that, and I tried to still my wandering emotions. "You know it's not more important than you, but you don't need me to come home."

"Yes I do, Neila." I heard her about to cry, but I couldn't tell if she was serious or faking. I never could, which is how she'd always get me to cave. "I'm hurting right now. Please come home?"

I sighed and looked at Gordon, and he held a frown on his face. "Okay. I'll be home momentarily. Do you want me to pick something up or cook?"

"I want you to cook. How long are you going to be?"

"Not long," I offered, checking my watch. I figured it would take about another fifteen to twenty minutes before I'd be there. "Give me—"

"Bye." She didn't even give me time to finish or reply before my phone beeped and flashed _'_ _Call Ended_ _'_ on the screen.

"I guess this dinner is over?" Gordon asked, and his face was blank.

"It's Deklyne. Something happened the other day that she won't tell me about, but she won't stop crying about it either." He only nodded and looked away. "I wish we could have had dinner," I lied, actually thankful that I had a way out of this nightmare.

"No problem. You have a good night. I hope Deklyne feels better." I nodded and got back into my car, but Gordon called me before I closed the door. "I know you're not a club person, but Club Skye is having another party tomorrow night. Maybe you could meet me there before nine? I'll show my face and then we can go have dinner afterward, say nine-thirtyish?"

I shrugged. "If you're up for it."

He smiled at me, and it stopped me for a second. I couldn't deny that it was breathtaking and hypnotic, and I just couldn't bring myself to look away from him. He had the type of smile that brought butterflies to your stomach and a tingle to your spine. He didn't say anything else, but I doubted I would have even noticed if he had. I was still finding it hard to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Finally, he closed my door for me before walking back to his car. I was paralyzed still after that, just seeing his smile as I sat looking at nothing. After hearing him honk and seeing him wave and drive off, I finally snapped back to my senses and started on my way home. I thought it peculiar that I was actually amazed by his smile, but then again it was gorgeous. What was the harm in admitting that?

Twenty-One : Dani

I stood next to my window, checking the time on my cell. Gordon should have been here five minutes ago, and here I was thoughtful enough to be ready earlier than I usually would just so he could make it to his little party on time.

Only after I walked to the kitchen to fix myself a drink did I see headlights beaming into my house. Then I still managed to fix my drink and down it before he could bring his sorry ass to the door, and I was flinging it open right as he stepped on my porch.

"You're late, Gordon," I berated him

He gave me a slow look that I couldn't read, but I really didn't care about his opinions or thoughts at the moment. "I do apologize. I didn't think I would have the sheer and utter pleasure of taking you out again." The sarcasm and annoyance leaked from his words, and his expression was beginning to mimic his tone.

I finally dropped my hand from the doorknob to give him the look of displeasure he deserved. "Tonight will not be a repeat of the last time we were out, sweetheart."

"I certainly hope not," he said with a slight raise in his right eyebrow.

"So that means," I stepped closer to him, and his eyes seemed to spark with interest, "you will not make the mistake tonight by showing me a time that's anything less than amazing."

For a while longer, we just stared at each other, but it was far different than the last time we had just looked into each other's eyes. I was just about to correct him on his attitude, and then I could see his eyes softening. Right before I felt myself giving into a smile, I held up my keys and displayed my house key for him.

"Now lock my door so you can show me a night that I'll never forget." I made sure to let him hear the tease in my voice, and I caught a hint of excitement in his eyes that he tried to hide.

"I could have shown you a much better time had I known I was going to be taking you out."

"You always have to be prepared, sweetheart."

"Has a man ever asked you out or does it usually go this way, you call him fifteen minutes before he's about to walk out of his door and practically demand that he takes you out?"

He still hadn't taken my keys, so I shook them at him. He eyed them then smirked, but he eventually took them and did as I'd told him to do. "If you haven't learned by now that I _demand_ ," I mocked him, "my time be spent only the way I want, you're not as fast of a learner as I thought."

I began walking to his car, letting my hips sway just enough to catch his attention but not enough to let him know I was doing it just for him. I knew I didn't need to put on a show for him. My teal and navy dress was short and tight enough to do that for me. My legs where long and shined under the moonlight, and with the way my breast sat up and peeked through the low opening of my dress, I knew it wouldn't be long before he was begging to have me in his office tonight. Right now, though, I knew his attention was on my ass, and my walk made sure he'd try everything to work himself into my house tonight.

"Don't you want a man to ask you out? Some woman would rather a man ask her out instead of feeling like she's forcing him to take her out."

I pivoted on my toes to face him, his eyes shortly landing on my chest. I smirked when he brought his eyes back to mine, and he slowly licked his lips. "Am I forcing you to take me out, Gordon?"

He just watched me for a few seconds, and then a smile began to ease its way onto his face. "No. I can't say that you are."

I stepped closer to him, leaving less than an inch to separate us. "Then why are you taking me out?" My voice was low, and I could see the want he had in his eyes. He wanted to have sex right here in my driveway.

He bit his lip and never blinked. "Because for some reason—that I truly cannot explain—I actually want to."

"We both know the reason, sweetheart. You've seen how excited I can get when I'm upset; now you want to see what I'm capable of when I'm," I smiled at him and looked down at his crotch, "not upset."

He caught on to what I was saying easily and grinned before wrapping an arm around my waist to pull me completely to him. "I'm not that kind of man, Dani."

"You can't lie to me, Gordon. I can tell how bad you want me. You're not going to tell me you haven't thought about it."

"I never said I haven't thought about it or that I don't want to. I'm just not the type of man that takes a woman out just to get one thing from her."

"Well what else could you possibly want from me?"

He shook his head slightly but never dropped his smile. "I guess something that's more important to me than it is to you."

I had no idea what his vague ass was talking about, but he didn't give me much time to think on his words. Seconds later, he had my hand and was leading me the rest of the way to his car.

Around eight-forty, he was leading me through a back entrance of the overly crowded building and then up a flight of stairs. By the time my ears and eyes had adjusted to the strobe lighting and the loud music, we were standing in a private room with two other men and Deklyne.

The second she saw Gordon still attached to me, I could see her face shatter. I didn't even try to hold back my laugh. I blew her a kiss, and I thought she would haul ass out of the room. Instead, she walked right up to Gordon and grabbed him away from me. Had this been any other situation, she would have been regretting her every decision. However, I actually had to hand it to her; she wasn't being scary.

Still, Gordon didn't stay with her for long, and she only made me laugh harder when she folded her arms as she watched him walk away from her. Gordon eyed me with a smirk, probably knowing what I was laughing at. He didn't hide it from me how much Deklyne irritated him.

For a while, he stood talking to those other two men, and Deklyne pouted in the corner. Shortly after that, my mood was getting to where Deklyne's was, but I surely was not about to pout about it. As if Gordon sensed me about to explode, he looked over to me with calming eyes and winked at me. Even though I felt a flutter in my stomach, there was no way that would satisfy me.

I was by his side in seconds, and he just wrapped a strong arm around my waist. He wouldn't look at me; however, he just kept laughing. I was on the verge of saying something and tried to pull away, but he held me tighter and kissed my cheek.

"I haven't introduced you two to my date, have I?" he said smoothly as if he knew I was becoming upset with him and he thought bringing attention to me would save him.

"No you have not," the darkest one of them said. I had to admit, his skin tone suited him perfectly. Just like my mother, I always had a sweet spot for chocolate brothers. "Where have your manners gone, Gordon?" His eyes stayed on me, and any other time, I would have welcomed the flirting. Being here with Gordon made me feel differently though, and I just gave him a polite smile.

"My bad." Gordon smiled at me again, and for the moment, I decided I'd let him do the talking. "This is Dani. Dani that's Jon," he point to the one who had remained quiet, "and that's Mike," he pointed to my chocolate treat. I knew without a doubt that as soon as I was done with Gordon, Mike would be next.

"Well Dani, I must say you are looking quite beautiful in that dress. It really compliments that body of yours." He kissed my hand, and Gordon pushed him away. "What? I'm just being sociable."

"Mike, don't start man. Fresh start, remember?" Gordon gave him a hard glare, and Mike held his hands up and backed away with a smile.

"It was a pleasure to be introduced to you, Dani. Sadly, that's my cue to back off, so I can't say it was a pleasure to get to know you." I still said nothing to him, preferring to do all of our communicating through moans and body parts.

For a while longer, Gordon talked to Jon and Deklyne, going right back to ignoring me. The thought crossed my mind to go find where Mike had run off to, but I put my focus back on Gordon after seeing him warming up to Deklyne. I nipped that in the bud the instant I saw Deklyne throwing herself in Gordon's arms and him smiling at her the way he was only allowed to smile at me. In seconds Gordon was by my side, and that adorable little pout was back on Deklyne's face.

After Gordon apologized for his actions and supplied me with a few drinks, I'd started feeling a bit better and not to mention horny. The drink wasn't what put me in the mood though. Sure it caused me to lower my guard a little more and boosted Gordon's sex appeal, but he was already looking good enough to eat.

Honestly he wasn't wearing anything extraordinary, just a plain black collared shirt, fitting and creased black slacks, a smoky gray vest, black and gray striped tie, and as my mother calls them, black "nickel shine" shoes. He looked damned good in his outfit, and his body and face always sent a shiver down my spine. He was a gorgeous man, but his appearance was not what suddenly had me this way. It was his presence that was causing the pleasurable ache between my legs. I honestly no longer gave a damn to give my sisters a chance at him. I wanted him. Point blank.

Seeing that he'd done enough work for the night, I brought him out to the dance floor with me and was kind enough to give him a preview of how well my body could work. At first he tried to decline the invitation, preferring not to mingle among the crowd and risk looking unprofessional. He should have known better; one skillful look and his will had become only to please me.

Once in the middle of the dance floor, we held each other's stare: his submissive and mine seductive. I gave him a soft kiss on his neck then turned in his arms, placing my back on his front. I pushed and rolled my ass on him, and I heard a deep and lustful groan come from him more than once as we danced. He gripped my waist tightly and moved in perfect sync with me. It was like the more of myself I gave him, the more I could feel he wanted, and that only sparked my curiosity to know just how well he could handle my body in the bedroom.

We danced for a good amount of songs before I heard him in my ear. "I think we might need to stop now."

I pushed back on him more, slowly grinding on him. I gave him a coy smile, and he smirked at me. "Why?"

He turned me to face him, wrapping his arms around my waist again and dipping his head to my ear. "I'm at work tonight, sweetheart. I'm not supposed to be enjoying myself like this."

"You work at a club. How professional do you have to be?"

We both smiled, and then he began to usher me through the crowd again. He took me back up the stairs but into a different private room this time. There wasn't much in there besides a couch and a wooden table with chairs. If he had any ideas of getting anything in this room, he was sadly mistaken. The couch and table both had trash on them. The floor looked disease-ridden, and the walls were grimy. I assumed this was where the workers were taking their breaks.

He moved some of the trash off the couch and gestured for me to sit, but I just folded my arms. He only checked his watched then cursed to himself. Without even a word to me, he left and returned more than a few minutes later.

"Gordon, what are you doing?"

"It's almost ten-thirty," he told me in a far off tone and with a small frown.

"And?" He just shook his head, but I saw a look of disappointment settle on his face for a moment. "Why are we in here?"

"I needed a place to calm down," he smirked at me. "I was getting too excited out there."

I slowly walked over to him before resting my arms around his shoulders. "This is certainly not the place I want to be right now." He opened his mouth to respond, but I place a finger on his lips. His eyes burned with curiosity and something else that I couldn't wait to learn about. "Home," was all I had to say.

Not very long after, we were standing on my porch. I had my key in the lock when I felt his hands on my waist attempting to turn me around to face him. I obliged him, leaving my key in the lock.

"Tonight was quite interesting for me," he said as he put a little distance between us.

He held a smile on his face, but his words and actions only irritated me. Nights with me were never just interesting. "And just what the hell does that mean?" I didn't hold back my emotions when I spoke to him, but that smile never left his face.

"It means it was a wonderful surprise." He walked closer to me and tucked a finger under my chin to lift my head a bit higher. "Calm that violent attitude of yours down, Miss Heart." I smiled at his nerve but decided I wouldn't speak on it. "Now I hope you have a beautiful night." He pecked my cheek then gave me another smile. "I'm actually looking forward to the next time you decide I can be at your beck and call."

A frown quickly found its way to my face as I gave him a bit of shove away from me. "What do you mean you hope I have a beautiful night? The night is not over."

He gave his own slight frown and took another cautious step away from me. "You said you wanted to go home. When you say home, I'm not about to question that shit. I've been trained."

"And why the hell do you think I wanted to come home?" I stepped closer to him, my voice rising with anger. He only smiled at me then he used his body to push mine up against my door. "Gordon—"

He actually had the nerve to "shh" me, and I eyed him as if he was crazy. "I already told you I wasn't after that from you."

"I don't care what you're after. I'm only concerned with what I want. That's all you should be concerned with," I informed him.

"Well it's not," he told me matter-of-factly. "You're not just a piece of ass to me, and I want you to know that."

I wanted to push him back and be upset with him. I was trying to be upset with him, but something about him was helping him win this battle I felt we were now in. "I want—"

"I know what you want, but you're not getting it until I get what I want from you."

How dare he try to make a demand. The golden rule was, " _What he wants is never important_." Mama made sure I understood that.

"And just what the hell do you want from me?" I caught myself asking instead of cursing him out like I felt I should have been doing.

He just looked at me for a while, his eyes speaking to me. Still, I couldn't hear what they were saying. "More." He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist, bringing his lips closer to mine but not kissing me. "I want more from you, Danielle."

I found myself at a loss for words at the moment. I didn't understand why having him this close to me was affecting me in such a way. "If this is about a relationship, I told you I don't do relationships." I was breathless the entire time I was speaking to him, and I could hardly focus on anything other than his sexy ass lips.

"And I don't do casual sex. Now for some reason you won't let me walk away, and perhaps that same reason is why I can't walk away." His lips curved into a smile, and had I been wearing panties I know they would've been soaked from the way he was looking at me. "I guess one of us is going to have to fold in order for this thing to work."

"I never fold, sweetheart." I felt myself smiling, and I would have slapped myself if I was in my right mind.

"Shit," he stressed as if he didn't believe me. "I'm positive I can make you bend in ways you've never imagined." I caught on to the meaning of his sentence, and I really couldn't ignore the throbbing I felt. "Call me for our next evening out. I promise to be prepared, sweetheart."

With that he left me on my porch, and even though he'd intrigued me, I was never the type to end my nights unsatisfied. Once I was in something a bit more comfortable and laying on my bed, I grabbed the piece of paper Mike had slipped me when Gordon was making his rounds at the party. I knew it was Mike's number, and after Gordon left me the way he did, I needed someone to make up for it. Mike had yet to leave my mind, so why not get what I want until Gordon decided to come to his senses? Within thirty minutes after I'd called him, Mike was in my bed doing his best to make me forget about Gordon. Funny enough, his efforts failed.

Twenty-Two : Neila

I sat in my office contemplating if I wanted to skip lunch again or not. It had become a routine of mine not to eat until I got home, but it was starting to become an annoyance. Even when I would get home, there was no guarantee that I'd get a decent meal. My house was nothing short of a madhouse as of late. Terri had become a tad moodier and more reserved. Deklyne was of course as feisty as always, running between trying to scheme with Gordon and Cris. Dani was the diva she loved to play, flaunting in everyone's face her escapades with Gordon. I, on the other hand, was doing everything in my power to convince myself that this bet was worth advancing. It all led up to me stressing about trying to keep my sisters' heads together all while skipping meals.

I knew if I didn't start taking better care of my body, I wouldn't be able to put up with as much as I was dealing with. I'd promised myself I would not miss another meal; however, just as I grabbed my purse from my bottom desk drawer, Gordon came flying into my office. For a second, I was too startled to say anything.

"Where were you?" he fussed after closing my door behind him.

"Excuse me?" I held my purse closer to me, wanting to kick myself for not remembering to replace my mace.

"I tried to just say forget it, right. It didn't matter if you came through or not—but then I just kept thinking that it was your idea—not mine—I didn't care after a while—After realizing who you are—I just said forget it—"

"Gordon, what has gotten into you?" I argued, getting annoyed with his behavior. He was talking extremely fast and pacing back and forth; I didn't know whether to call security or an ambulance. "You cannot just burst into my office and act like a lunatic."

He finally stopped his incessant moving and glared at me. It wasn't really a look of anger however, more of forced control. He was quiet for longer than I figured he would be, but I was willing to allot the time he needed to gather himself.

"Saturday." That was all he said to me as if I should have known exactly what he was speaking of.

I merely elevated my shoulders and gave a confused frown. "Yes? It's the day after Friday."

He showed a half smile and let out a disbelieving chuckle. "Neila, are you serious?"

A slow nod was my first reaction then I squinted. "I'm pretty sure. It's also the day before Sunday, which was actually yesterday. Sorry if you missed it, but you will have to forgive me if I'm wrong. The days of the week are known to change every now and then."

He walked closer to my desk and rubbed the back of his head. I saw his mind working a mile a minute, and I couldn't figure out why he was so worked up. "Can you be serious for two seconds? Just two seconds, Neila."

"You need to either explain yourself or remove yourself." I finally stood up, slinging my purse on my arm. I was not about to stay in this room with him as long as he was acting this way.

"You were supposed to meet me so we could have dinner on Saturday," he said with elevated eyebrows. I finally caught on to why he was so agitated, and I couldn't even say anything for a few seconds. I figured he'd want an explanation, but I saw absolutely no need to give him one. "No excuse, huh? Is it a habit of yours to break promises?"

"What?" The way his mind worked was astonishing to me. "I never promised you anything, Gordon."

"Neila, it was your idea to have dinner," he said as if he'd been jilted unnecessarily.

"That is correct, but unfortunately," I stated, starkly, "it was canceled."

"You canceled it," he practically vilified me.

His attitude had shot well pass my patience, and I wasn't sure how much more of him I was going to be able to handle. "Regardless of what happened, do you actually think it was serious enough to result in this behavior you're exhibiting now?"

"Yes because you still owe me."

He had pushed me to my limit when he'd said that. I dropped my purse in the chair next to me and folded my arms across my chest. "I don't owe you anything. How dare you think anything even remotely close to that."

"Neila, it was your idea to have dinner so you could apologize to me."

"Why should I even apologize to you now? You're being a complete jerk about it."

"That's very mature of you, just like standing me up. You could have at least called to say you couldn't make it."

"I don't even have your number," I said as I gave him a befuddled laugh.

"Deklyne was there. You could have given her the message."

The moment he said that, a light went on in my head. This man was two kinds of crazy to be in my face right now after what I'd found out straight from the horse's mouth.

"That's right, Deklyne was there." I nodded and smiled at him, giving him time to realize he'd just put his foot in his mouth. "Also, you know who else was there?" He just glared at me, pitifully waiting for the bomb to drop.

"Who?" he finally asked after I let him squirm in anxiety for a few seconds longer.

"Dani," I affirmed, and his face flushed.

I was so tempted to laugh, but I held it in. He'd been caught red handed, and now he was quickly trying to think up a lie to claim innocence.

"For some reason I'm having a hard time believing you actually care about me not showing up." I stepped closer to him, a knowing smile still playing with my lips. "You know what I think? I think last night you were happy that I didn't show up. That way you could grind on my sister and then come in here throwing a tantrum today."

"First of all, I'm not throwing a tantrum. Second, what I do with Dani is none of your concern."

"You think you can have one sister the first hour and another sister the second hour?"

"No," he said with a frown.

"You were out with my sister the night you were supposed to be out with me." I practically laughed my sentence out, not seeing how he was unable to connect the dots. It was just like a man not to see the wrong he'd done. He was about to speak, but I waved my hand to quiet him. "And don't give me that _'_ _she met me there_ _'_ nonsense. I know you two came together."

"I don't care if you know we came together. I don't care if you know I'm pursuing Dani. That has nothing to do us. I wasn't confusing our dinner for a date, and I really hope you weren't. I'm not trying to date you."

I was a bit caught off guard when he said that. I certainly was not expecting it at all. Obviously, I wasn't looking to date him, but hearing him express himself did sting quite a bit. The reasoning behind my current wound, I did not know. It did, however, inflict enough damage that for the entire time he continued to talk I was still trying to wrap my head around what he'd said and could barely close my mouth.

"There are two reasons why I'm here and only one reason why I'm heated right now. First reason why I'm here, you stood me up. Second, since I have plans on dating Dani, I don't find it a great idea to have issues with any of her sisters—seeing as none of you can sit your asses down for two seconds. As for why I'm upset," he just looked at me for a few seconds, and I genuinely couldn't find any words to say, "you're rude!"

"I'm what?" I asked in pure disbelief. "You come in here and say this to me and I'm the rude one?" I actually gave him time to answer, but he didn't. "Yeah well . . . Get out of my office," I fussed, and I hated to admit that I felt like a child that could do little after having her feelings hurt.

"I tried to be nice to you." He didn't move an inch and neither did his steady gaze.

"What part of _'_ _get out_ _'_ do you not understand, Gordon?"

"I decided to ignore your shit and decided I could just brush you off as a rude, man hating female. I was fine with that. I really was." He appeared to be trying to convince himself more than anything. "You're the one who said you wanted to take me out, even after I told you I didn't want to go anywhere with you." I scoffed, but he just kept on with his rant. "I said whatever, but you wouldn't drop it. You pursued me." He narrowed his eyes at me as he moved a step closer to me. "I want my apology, Neila."

"You're telling me the only reason you want me to take you out is to apologize?"

"Why else?" He threw his shoulders and hands up.

Again, I had a hard time finding fitting words to use, so I sharply said, "No." He just tilted an eyebrow at me, and I held my nose up at him in defiance.

"You owe me a dinner, Heart."

"I've already told you what you can do with that ridiculous notion of yours. You are not going to come in here demanding an apology."

He backed away from me with his hands up and a laughable look of disbelief on his face. "So you've decided, huh? You—you—you . . . You're just going to continue to act ugly? Even after the mad shit you've talked about me and then promising to apologize for it, you're just not going to do it because all of a sudden you don't want to? Why even go through all of that, after I told you to drop it, if you really ain't care?"

I shook my head at him, in complete dismay about the scene that was taking place in my office. "Remember when I told you your feelings were a little too feminine?" I let out a small chortle. "Well now I see that they're completely feminine. Didn't you have a father to teach you how to be a man or was he like you and thought he could raise his child on a distance learning program?"

His eyes bulged a bit as if he had been shocked and caught off guard. "Wow."

I took a step closer to him and started using my hands to gesture now. "Constantly crying because I hurt your feeling and begging for an apology is not going to make me give you one."

"So," he drawled, "now I'm not a man because I probably don't have a father, I'm crying, and I'm begging—and that's on top of all the other shit you've already said about me?"

"When and if I decide to give you an apology, you'll get one. Don't you ever think you're going to force one out of me."

"You know what?" His emotional state seemed to suddenly calm down, and alarms started sounding in my head. I thought the mood switch was a little too sudden, but I was not about to show any angst due to his behavior. Seconds passed by, and he just observed me, but then he nodded before looking around my office. "You're right. I am overreacting a little."

"This is more than a little, Gordon."

"It's nothing more than an apology that I really don't need, right?" He took time to watch me again then he squinted. "I think your crazy is rubbing off on me. You . . . " he paused for quite a while, "irritate me, and I should leave—"

"Could you please follow that instinct? The door is still there."

"It's just I've wanted to call you out of your name so many times, but Mama raised me better than—"

"Oh my God. Really?" I rolled my eyes, not understanding why he was even talking at this point.

"And the shit you did really pissed me off, so when you said you were going to apologize—"

"Gordon, you're crying," I enlightened him. Maybe he never realized when he was doing it, that's why he did it so much.

He gave me one of his lengthy silent stares before just walking out of my office. I straightened my skirt and grabbed my coat and purse, and seconds later Gordon was back in my office. Before I could get one word out, he had my elbow and was practically dragging me to the elevator. Once we were on, I caught Luke's attention on me as the doors waited to close. I was just about to ask for his assistance with Gordon, but the icy glare he was giving silenced me.

After we'd stepped off the elevator, Gordon still hadn't released me and began pulling me toward a random line of cars. He was taking such long and fast strides, I had to skip and hop more than once just to keep up and almost fell over a few times. He never slowed his pace for me, however.

"Where ever have you parked your car, Miss Heart? Hmm?" he calmly asked me in a faux English accent and convinced me further that he was a lunatic.

"Why?" I continued to try and fight him off, but he was entirely too strong.

"I do believe I would prefer to take your car," he said, effortlessly keeping me in his control. "Your offer, your treat, your car. Wouldn't you say?"

"This is childish, Gordon." I snatched my elbow away and spun around, but I landed right on his chest. He gripped me again and roughly moved me forward, and again I almost fell. "Gordon!"

"Please pick up your feet, my dear lady."

"You yank me out of my office and—"

"Where is your car, Neila?" he asked me in a sing-song voice.

As soon as I finally felt the pace slowing down, I unsuccessfully tried to pull away from him once more. I grunted and blew tousled strands of hair out of my face before rebelliously saying, "I don't believe I remember where I parked."

He stopped us just then and eyed my purse. My eyes followed his, and when I looked back at him, he was creepily staring right in my eyes. Before I could respond, we were wrestling over my purse.

"What in tarnation are you doing? Stop that! Gordon!"

He pulled my keys from my purse and held up my key alarm. I tried to grab it from him, but he was too tall. After my second failed jump, I heard the alarm on my car beep behind us. I whipped around to it, mentally admonishing it for not staying quiet. When I put my eyes on him again, he was smirking down at me.

For the umpteenth time, he gripped my elbow and rushed me in his desired direction, and we were at my car before the words I wanted to tell him could fully come out of my mouth. I could hear my doors unlock, and he opened the driver's door for me. After forcing me in, he actually climbed over me to get to the passenger's seat. For a while we just sat there, him staring at me as I just looked straight ahead, utterly stupefied.

"How about Beiley's, no?" I finally looked over to him after hearing him speak. He just jingled my keys before sticking them in the ignition. All I could do for a moment was watch him. "Yes, yes. We must turn the car on before it can go, my dear?" he told me with a sickening smirk on his face.

"You are out of your mind!" I tried to rush out of the car, forgetting about my keys. That gave Gordon the bright idea to start it. "Gordon!" I tried to reach for the keys, but he reached over me, pulled my leg back in the car, and slammed my door closed.

"Put your foot on the break, Neila." His voice had changed again. It was his normal voice, but it was very low.

"You are not going—"

He grabbed my gear shift that sat between us. "Foot. Break." His voice was still calm, as if what was going on was just an everyday occurrence. His eyes didn't even look as chaotic as they did when he first stormed into my office.

For all of that, I still refused to move, hoping my unwillingness would finally stop this absurdity. However, he managed to reach his long arm over to the break and press it then switch gears. I screamed as soon as the car began to move. Maybe a split second later, he pressed the gas, and the car shot backwards. On instinct I slammed on the break just before my car smashed into the one behind me. Gordon didn't even waste any time. He switched the gears to drive, turned the wheel, moved my foot, and pressed on the gas again. I gripped the wheel this time as the car started to go out of control, and he finally repositioned himself in his proper seat.

"I do not believe you!" I screamed, now driving on pure instinct. My heart was beating out of my chest, and my mind was beginning to draw a blank.

"I think we're going to have a great lunch," he remarked, again acting as if this all was commonplace.

It didn't take us long to get to Beiley's, but it did take a while before I was willingly holding a conversation with him. All throughout our lunch, he kept talking to me as if we were old friends and reminding me that I hadn't apologized yet. I had no plans on doing so either. He'd kidnapped me. He should be the one doing the apologizing.

Finally, he decided it was time to go, but he told me we weren't leaving until I said it. For that reason, we sat there for another twenty minutes.

"Neila, I don't go to work today. I'm sure your boss will soon be looking for you."

"I can just leave you here, you know."

"Walk your ass if you want to." I narrowed my eyes at him, remembering he'd taken my keys from me earlier so I wouldn't pull that very move on him. "Say that shit, and with feeling," he added with a smirk

I folded my arms across my chest and huffed. "You really need to grow up."

"I believe you have something to say to me."

I rolled my eyes and stuffed a few fries in my mouth. Again I felt I was forced to accept the fact that there was currently only one way out of my situation. "I apologize," I mumbled.

"You want to swallow that shit first? Who taught you manners, my father?"

I threw him a side-eye and took my time finishing my food. "Gordon," I let out a heavy sigh and licked my lips, "I apologize."

"For?"

"Do not push it. You got what you wanted, after kidnapping me no less. How ridiculous must you be in order to imagine something as daft as this?"

"Hhm," he hummed as if he'd just realized something. "Maybe a bit nutty." I watched him a few seconds, and he just shrugged and smirked. "See, your crazy is rubbing off on me."

"I am not crazy."

"That's denial, Neila," he said, reaching over to grab a few of my remaining fries.

"And what are you? How would you categorize this?"

He laughed, but thankfully he covered his mouth until his food was gone. "I thought it was funny."

"How was that funny?"

"Because you were scared," he said and laughed again. I just glared at him. "My bad for being over the top. I was just messing with you because you didn't want to give me my apology. You're too uptight about things."

"You're telling me you were joking with me?" I asked him in a tone to let him know I thought he was a complete buffoon. "You don't joke by kidnapping someone."

"But you drove." I simply shook my head, and he chuckled. "You mad for real?" I wouldn't answer him, and he just continued with his amusement. "Neila, I'm sorry for scaring you and pissing you off." Silence was still my only response, so he just sighed. He then checked his watch and his phone before leaning over the table and lowering his voice. "But can I ask you a question?"

"What?" I responded with annoyance.

"Can we be drama free now?" I merely frowned at his question. "Don't tell me it's that hard. When you're not cutting a person down, you're nice to be around. Plus you seem like a woman with a lot of sense. So we should be able to be around each other without drama now that we've actually sat down and talked."

"This thing was to rectify our past. Why are you speaking as if we will see any more of each other in the future?" I almost felt saying that was the wrong move, but I honestly wasn't good at wanting to spend time with others.

"I'm just saying, if Dani brings me over for a family dinner or whatever, wouldn't it be better if we weren't bitching at each other?"

"Dani is not inviting you to any family gatherings of ours."

"Hating on the relationship before it's even started." He shook his head, and I frowned at his naïveté.

A comment of how Dani treats men almost slipped out of my mouth, but I realized Gordon was getting that very treatment. What was I going to tell him about it?

"And I know enough about your sister. Her little she doesn't do relationships policy, that's garbage," he spoke as if he'd read my mind.

"You think so?" I almost laughed.

"It's a front," he frowned and shrugged, "and I like her, so I'm not running from it."

"So you like what she pretends to be or what you think you can get from her?" If he was already gone over Dani, I really saw no need to participate in this thing further. However, the thought of pulling one from Miss Dani was intriguing.

"I'm not caught up on the pretending. When we're talking I can tell that she's actually very intelligent. She doesn't want people to know that, though." I was a bit shocked that he said that. I knew that about Dani, and I had a theory on why she acted as such. "She's protective of the ones she loves, even though I think she goes about it the wrong way in a lot of the cases. And she definitely doesn't take bullshit from people."

He said his last sentence with such feeling that I almost laughed at him. Dani was training him as only she could, and he seemed to be eagerly taking his training and wanting more. I knew he was under Dani's spell now. I never knew how she could do that, but I was positive she'd done it to Gordon.

"You're clearly charmed by her," I chuckled, feeling a little annoyed. "Her crazy," I mocked his earlier sentiments, "didn't deter you too much, huh?"

"It didn't deter me from you, either. Look at us, here having a wonderful lunch all thanks to me ignoring your crazy. You're not upset, calling me names or criticizing me, or worked up about your co-workers. I have successfully tamed your crazy."

I was about to rip into him again, but his smile saved him. It was about to have the same effect on me as it did the first time I'd seen it, so I took a long sip of my tea. Thankfully, he was ready to go before I could embarrass myself by staring at him or stuttering over my words if he chose to continue our conversation.

I concluded things were only about to get more complicated with Gordon. Dani seemed to already have him twisted around her finger. Even with that, I still considered my biggest problem to be the part that involved me having to spend more time with him. Perhaps these were all signs that this was something I needed to reconsider.

Twenty-Three : Deklyne

It had been days since I'd last talked to Gordon, and the whole situation had me ready to go to war with him. He was still acting as if he no longer wanted to be around me. Since his last party, he wasn't returning my texts or calls. When I'd happened to see him at Juan's office, the place I go for flyers and other graphics for parties, he kept the conversation short and left without even getting Juan to do any work for him. This bitch was actually trying to avoid me, and it was complete BS for him to be acting like this. If it wasn't for this trip, I wouldn't even be wasting my time with him.

I sharply turned into his driveway, cautioning myself to calm down. I knew walking in his house with an attitude wouldn't get him into bed with me. After a few minutes, I stepped out of my car and marched up to his door. I was so ready to get to why I was over here I just turned the knob and walked right in. I wasn't even thinking about the door being locked or not; I just wanted at him. I slammed the door behind me, and the first person I saw was Mike. The sight of him just disgusted me, and I made sure he understood my hate for him with the face I gave him.

"Why are you here?" I folded my arms, waiting for him to explain himself.

"Man, you don't work for me no more. Stop fucking talking to me," he told me, and I heard his annoyance.

"Do not talk to me like that," I warned him. "Your black ass needs to learn some manners and respect."

He stood up from the couch and walked closer to me, looking at me like he was itching to do something to me. "Say something else stupid to me."

"Hey, hey? What's going on in here?" Gordon jogged down his steps and eyed me before pulling Mike out of my face. "Mike, calm down."

"Why you still talking to this bitch, Gordon?" he fussed.

I tried to slap him, but Gordon grabbed and held me to keep me from going after his friend's bitch ass. That did nothing to keep me quiet, though. "Fuck you, you tar covered bitch!"

"Deklyne!" Gordon stood in front of me, forcing me to look at him. The look in his eyes was so intense that I could actually feel the heat coming from it. "What's wrong with you?"

"I'm about to knock that bitch out, Gordon," Mike boosted himself up, pacing back and forth, but I knew he was a bitch. He never got loud unless Gordon was between us.

"Stop calling her that!" Gordon tried to give out demands, and I almost laughed because of it. He was a nobody. Who did he think was going to listen to him?

"You hear how she's talking to me!" Mike yelled back.

"I hear how you're talking to her, too. Both of y'all need to calm down." Gordon still held my arm, but he was concentrating on Mike's bouncy ass.

"Fuck it. I'm out."

"So now you leaving?" Gordon almost sounded pathetic, begging another man to stay. If Mike wanted to go, good riddance.

"Gordon, you're my boy, but you need to get your head straight."

"Mike?" he called as Mike grabbed his shit from a table.

"You always pick them emotionally unstable bitches to mess with. That's exactly why you was so happy to move up here. Val and her drama wasn't enough for you?"

" stop talking out the side of your neck because you pissed at her," I heard the warning in Gordon's tone, and I was actually wishing he'd get pissed enough to beat Mike's ass. I felt I needed to see somebody's blood right now. "I moved here because you thought this would be the perfect place to open up our second club. This was your idea."

"I'm just going to say this, you better fuck that bitch and send her on her way. I be damn if you turn into Captain Save A Ho again. Every ho you get with don't have to be some crazy bitch with issues out the ass."

"Mike, chill with your language, bruh."

"Fuck that bitch. Her mouth worse than both of ours."

"Call me a bitch one more time, and I promise." I tried to go after him again, but Gordon held me in place. "You need to get the fuck out of here!"

"Hey!" Gordon said and snatched on me a bit. "This is not your house, girl."

"I'm telling you, Gordon. Keep messing with the same type bitches. Keep messing with them. You starting to make me think you can't live without this type of shit." With that Mike left, slamming the door behind him.

I didn't say anything for a few minutes, and Gordon didn't rush me to speak until I sat on his couch. "What's going on?" He shrugged, and his face gave away his agitation.

"I needed to stop by."

"I really need to start locking my door," he mumbled, probably thinking I wouldn't hear him. "Did you need to act an ass to Mike?"

I just brushed off his little comment because I knew I had to do what I'd come over here for. If things kept going the way they were, I'd be shit out of luck in the next two seconds. Dani had been going out with him nonstop, and now Neila was actually trying to plan things out with him. Dani I could understand, but Neila hated the idea of dating. She didn't even know how to do it, yet a fake out apology got this asshole to overlook all the hell I'm sure she'd been giving him.

"Look Gordon," I folded my arms across my chest and crossed my legs. I shook my head, feeling my insides about to spill out because of what I had been reduced to. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not the one you need to be apologizing to."

I sucked my teeth and jumped up. This guy really was an idiot. "Not about him. I know this may be hard for you, but please pay attention," I let out a heavy breath before speaking again. "I'm sorry about everything."

He just watched me with a lifted eyebrow for a few seconds. "And just what is everything?"

I shrugged, irritated that he wouldn't just take the damn apology and move on. "Everything," I repeated with annoyance. "Do I really need to spell it out?"

"You can't even tell me what you're sorry for. How do you expect me to accept that shit? That's not a real apology."

"How can you tell me my apology is not real? You don't even know a real apology from a fake one." That was obvious when he accepted Neila's apology. Neila doesn't even believe in apologies, so I'm sure whatever she gave him was less sincere than this.

"Listen to the way you're talking to me. You're acting like I forced you to come over here and give me some lame ass apology."

"No I'm not!" I slung my hands down and stomped my foot. "Why can't you just take the shit and be happy?" I doubted Neila had this much trouble getting him to accept hers. He was just so unbelievable. "I didn't even need to do this."

"You haven't done anything. You threw some bullshit out your mouth, that's it," he shot back at me.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Why do you have a problem with me?" I rushed towards him, and he backed up and held my hands down to my sides once I was close enough to him.

"Have you ever noticed the things you say and do to people? You are not a pleasure to be around, baby." He shrugged, still holding my arms down. "That's just the truth."

"That's not the truth!" I snatched my hands away and pushed him a little. "You just want to push me away so you won't piss Dani off."

"What?"

"I know about you two."

"Okay, and? What does that have to do with you?"

I let out a long and frustrated noise and turned my back to him for only a second then I was once again grumbling at him. "What do you mean what does it have to do with me? I saw you first, Gordon. She wouldn't have even known about you if I hadn't introduced you."

"Well, I guess I should thank you for that, huh?" He smirked at me, and my hand was seconds away from connecting with his face. "Deklyne, what's going on in your head?" he asked as if I was some crazy person.

"How am I not your type? Look at me," I whined.

He did look at me, and with the time it took him to do it, I knew he couldn't deny that he was attracted to me. "I'm not a shallow man, Deklyne."

"So you're going to tell me that my sister's ass isn't what has you eating out of the palm of her hand?"

He laughed at me this time, and I just folded my arms. "She does not have me eating out of the palm of her hand."

"I know my sister. I know you don't see anything in her besides her looks."

"That's some sad shit to say about your own sister." His face had gone back to that one expression I was so used to seeing on him.

"It's the fucking truth," I told him bitterly.

He scoffed and looked at me as if I were an alien. "I see something in her, Deklyne. That's all that really matters."

"Yeah, well. What you see is a slut."

"What is your issue that you have no problem talking down about your sister?"

"How blinded are you by her looks, Gordon? Really? How can you see _anything_ ," I stressed, "in her overly sexed BS?"

"I guess that's a gift and a curse for me that I see past all her BS."

"Why!" I fussed at him, really clueless as to how he could be like this. I was positive Dani had given him more hell than me, yet he still couldn't get enough of her. Me, on the other hand, he avoided like the plague. "She's not perfect!"

"Neither am I."

"You're such a hypocrite. It's okay for her not to be perfect because you're not perfect, but when it comes to me, you brush me off."

"I don't like being around you. What you want me to say?" he asked me with a shrug.

"Will you—God!" I huffed and threw my hands up, hoping to release enough frustration to keep me from attacking him. "Will you just—No . . . Gordon, I know you've figured out by now Dani has issues."

"As do every other female I've met."

"If you know about her, why willing try to get with her?" I didn't care anymore. If I wasn't going to get Gordon, I was damn sure going to make sure Dani didn't get him either.

"I don't like writing people off just because they have obvious issues." I just shook my head at him, but I couldn't think of anything to say at the moment. "As long as they're not complete assholes," he said that as if he was making reference to me, "I don't mind seeing through all their issues. Most of the time, that's all a person needs is somebody to see pass that."

At first, I had the words I wanted to say to him, but a thought popped into my head as soon as he said that. Because of his own stupid talking, I had finally figured him out. I finally knew what I had to do to bait him.

I thought back to when this little contest first started and I said, _I said_ Gordon was the type of guy I was used to, but I was so busy trying to beat Dani at her own game that I'd almost messed everything up. If I would have just went with my instincts, I would have already realized that Gordon was that guy who just had to be the rescuer. He had to be the protector or comforter. That smut pot that just walked out of here had just said as much and given me my leg up.

Things were going to be too easy now. Before he or Dani would be able to guess what hit them, I'd already be the Queen Bitch in the Heart family.

I had to take a few minutes to think my strategy out because Gordon had just confessed to being a sucker for wrecked bitches. I knew all I had to do now was find something to feel completely wrecked about. As soon as I got him to think I was trying to hide my pain and show the world a front, I would be able to end this whole thing.

I took a little more time to build enough emotion in my voice to spark notice. I even walked around his living room a little and brushed my hair back with my hand. "It's really that easy for you to see past her issues, but not mine, Gordon?" I gave him a guarded look, but enough emotion was on my face and in my voice. "All the crap she showed you, and you can walk around bragging about all you see in her, but you act like you can't even stand two feet next to me?"

He just watched me for a second, and I knew his mind was working, trying to figure why I suddenly sounded like I was about to cry. "I already explained to you—"

"Yeah, because I'm an asshole it's okay to throw me away like trash." My voice shook purposefully, and I continued to pace.

"You make it hard—"

"Well I'm so sorry that the way I express my issues is not as slutty as a lot of other people. Is that what it is with Dani?" I scoffed at him, and he rolled his eyes. "That's her trademark you know. Give the guys what they want." I rubbed my stomach as I shifted on my feet, trying to appear as if I was forcing myself to stay still. "So that's what it is, you prefer slut over asshole?"

"Stop it."

"That's what you're doing, right? You're playing along with her little game, so you can get what you want then you both go on your way?" My tone was sour, and my body language spoke volumes.

"I'm not just trying to sleep with Dani," he fussed. "I genuinely feel something for her."

"I'm sure."

"Deklyne, I don't have to explain anything to you."

"You genuinely feel something for her?" I mocked him. "I really wonder where these feelings come from. Your dick?"

"I'm not having this conversation with you," he told me as he tried to walk out of the room. My persistent badgering caused him to whip around to face me, though. "I'm not having this conversation with you!"

"Why not? I just asked a simple question!"

"Get out of my house, Deklyne!"

"See! You see! Pushing me away and running after a quick hook up with Dani," I laughed. "You men always run after her and push me away. Why is that, Gordon? Do you know?" My voice shook, but I was a little worried that my act wasn't about to turn out the way I'd hoped. He'd yet to soften.

"I got a pretty damn good idea."

I licked my lips and let out a long breath before brushing my hair back again. "You think if I slut around somebody might give a damn, Gordon?" My eyes watered as I stared directly at him, and he just watched me. "Huh?" He still didn't respond, and I started to pace and decided to let my voice sound pitiful to see what reaction he'd give. "You think I should give up being an asshole and turn into a slut? That's what I should do, right?"

There was a thoughtful pause before he finally said, "No." His voice was calmer than before, but his eyes still had a fire in them. That I ignored because his voice was my sign that my performance was starting to work.

"Well what do you suggest, huh? What, Gordon!"

He wouldn't say anything, and his eyes were searching me as if he had to prove something to himself. It almost felt as if he was trying to see if I was lying. I was too good at this, though. I'd built my life on this. There was no way he'd ever know I was playing him unless I wanted him to know.

"What's wrong with you, Deklyne?"

I gave him a long and convincingly bitter laugh. "What's wrong with me?" I repeated his question to him.

"Answer the question," he slightly fussed, and I bit my lip instead of putting any attention on him. "You want to pull this, so tell me what is going on with you. You want to breakdown and want me to care, tell me what you want me to care about."

I sniffled and turned away from him, letting my eyes shift around the room to give the appearance that whatever I was thinking about was causing me pain that I didn't want to focus on. I finally put my eyes back on him and showed him a soldiering smile. I wanted to make him think I was going to force myself not to fall apart in front of him.

"Nothing, Gordon." I gave another bitter chuckle and wiped a tear that had successfully fallen. "You don't need to worry about anything that has to do with me. I'm sorry." I spoke to him sarcastically and angrily as more tears fell, and I turned away from him to wipe those too. It was quiet for a good amount of time, and I figured he was falling deeper and deeper into my game.

"Then what was the purpose of this if you're just going to flip on and off?"

"God," I dragged out. "This is . . . " I turned back to him with my emotions heavily on my face. "I made a mess of everything, Gordon. Okay?" I put remorse in my voice and took in a quick breath to bring notice to the cry I was holding in, but I didn't want to use it until the right moment. "I'm just not dealing with this the way I need to."

"I really don't know how to deal with you, Deklyne. I mean I've met my share of moody females, but you take this to a whole different level."

I laughed sorrowfully and wiped at my eyes again. "I know. That's what they tell me."

"I really thought I was the type of man who could handle this type madness, but you're too much."

When I looked at him, his face was stone, and it bothered me that he was being so resistant. "Gordon, things are just . . . My days haven't been peachy. Okay? It like all I've been doing for the past few days is breaking down like I did the last time you were at my house." When I mention that, I saw a look of guilt flash across his face. I didn't even expect that, but I knew I could work with it. "That was one of the hardest days I've had in a long time, and . . . I know I was really a mess that day, and the way it ended just sent me further into a darker headspace." I exhaled deeply and waved my hands before going back to pacing. "It's no use to even try to explain all of this."

He looked unsure of himself, and I didn't know if he was going to press the issue or not. I knew I couldn't work the issue too hard or he'd probably pick up on me trying to lead the conversation.

He hesitated a little more, opening and closing his mouth. "If you're going through all of this, why not talk to somebody," he finally said, "one of your sisters or something?"

I just shook my head. "I don't like talking, Gordon."

"Ever think that's why you act out the way you do and why people treat you the way they do? You do and cause a lot of unnecessary stuff."

"You know what?" I went for my purse that I'd left on his couch. "It's not even serious. Just forget that I was even fucking here. You should go back to avoiding me like a weak bitch. You're better at that."

"So now you're back to the asshole because I say something you don't like?" He followed me a little, and his concern now proved that I'd succeeded in pulling him in, even if it was just a little.

"Fuck you, Gordon!" I knew him thinking I was getting defensive was important.

"You don't even want to try to fix what's wrong with you?"

"There's nothing wrong with me." I stalked closer to his door, and he spoke to my back.

"Shit, if you want to live in denial, you won't do anything but hurt yourself even more."

"I'm not in denial!" I whipped around to face him, and we just looked at each other for a few seconds.

"You should really figure out what's wrong with you."

"Nothing is wrong with me," I pitifully fussed.

"Because you're just as normal as they come," he said with sarcasm.

"Gordon, I . . . " I stopped talking to let the silence work then I grabbed my head to pretend that I was thinking about major life shit. "It's just . . . Everything! It's everything!" I cried a little after that, and he tried to walk over to me, but I held my hand up to tell him no. "Just stop!"

"Deklyne—"

"No. Listen, alright." I sniffled again, and dried my eyes before pretending to try to force away my emotions. "I get it. You and Dani, I get it." I shrugged, and let more tears fall. "I missed out," I said as I gave what was now my signature laugh and wiped at the tears, but I didn't want to remove all of them.

"On what?" he asked with a frown.

"You," I fussed. He really was making this difficult.

"You just met me. What do you feel you missed out on?"

"It wasn't like it was yesterday, and it was still before you ever knew Dani."

"You can't lie to me and say all of this is over me and Dani." He stepped closer to me, and I stepped back and threw my hands up.

"I just . . . I know you're with her now. It's just hard to accept, but—"

"Deklyne, it's clear you need a friend, but you don't need to make up shit to get me to be there for you. "

"What are you talking about?"

"You need to pick something better than the situation between me and Dani because I'm not buying for that."

"Buying what?"

"If you told me you were tripping because you don't want to feel like another person is added to the long list of people who's walked away from you, I could almost understand that. This right here, though," he told me shaking his head. "There wasn't anything going on between us for you to be feeling like this."

"So my feelings are irrelevant for what reason?"

"After being around you long enough, I knew to just keep everything professional. Most of our time was spent in arguments. So this whole _'_ _you're upset because of something you think I have with Dani_ _'_ makes no sense. Neither one of our relationships are that deep. Only because you just now found out I like Dani, you want to pull this?"

"It's not because I just found out," I argued.

"Then where was all of this beforehand?"

"I don't know." He wasn't letting up whatsoever, and I was just about to step out of character on him.

"Yeah right. You have issues with Dani so you want to act catty?"

"No!"

"I'm not even in a relationship with her, Deklyne. Me and you barely talk. Why are you bringing this drama to me?"

"Gordon!"

"I'm sick of dealing with your dramatics. Be real about something for once. No jokes and no games."

"I'm dealing with my own shit!" I took a few steps here and there, then stopped to look at him. "And yes! through games and jokes, I took it out on you, and I'm sorry. Okay? I needed you," I whimpered out. "You were my distraction, then it was something more." I paused for effect and laughed on the inside. "But now . . ." I didn't finish and just covered my eyes with my hand.

"I don't know what you want me to say to that shit."

I held my mouth open and shook my head, making sure not to keep eye contact with him. "What can you say?" I shrugged.

I knew he was pissed now, but I also knew the type of person he was. He should have been bending over backwards to comfort me. Still, I knew if I kept it up he wouldn't be able to help himself. He'd break.

"I had so much going on in my head, and I completely acted out. . . . I didn't show my feelings because . . . it was just easier, you know." I inhaled deeply, cutting off the cry that was trying to come out. "How I was acting, it helped me. At least, I thought it was helping me. . . . But it didn't. I just messed up."

"Deklyne, you need to—"

"No. It's whatever, Gordon."

I made my exit after that, and I was nervous only a little bit because I didn't know where I stood with Gordon. I figured he would have already broken by now. I was putting on a damn good show, but he only seemed to become more irritate the more I talked. On the bright side, it was about damn time I finally understood him. He reminded me a lot of Cris . . . and Maurice once upon a time. There was no way I wouldn't be able to get him. I just had to think of something deeper that would really get to him—something that he could empathize with.

Twenty-Four : Terri

I hesitantly stepped off the curb and next to his car, still trying to figure out how he knew just where I'd be at this time. Right as I stepped out of my class, he was at the door as if he was on his way in. He hurried me down the open hallway and into the parking lot, urging me to make haste into his illegally parked car. He was already in his car and blowing his horn before I'd even put my hand on the handle. Once I was finally seated next to him, he gave me a long look.

"When I tell you they throwing tickets, that means move your ass, girl. Security already circled once and told me to move, then I hopped out like a dumbass to come tell you where I was." He put his car in gear, and pulled off after checking his mirrors. "Let me see your phone," he told me, holding one hand on the wheel, one hand opened toward me, and eyes on the speed bump and other moving vehicles.

I lifted my backpack to my lap and pulled my phone out which I kept in a little side compartment with a small wallet. "Why?" I'd asked the question, but I wasn't expecting an answer. He was probably going to dismiss me like he did the last time I tried to talk to him.

"So next time I pick you up this thing will go smooth."

I frowned, curious as to why he thought there was going to be a next time. "You don't have to pick me up."

"Neila thinks differently," he said with a shrug. It was hard for me to believe Neila would send him, of all people, to give me rides home from school. "Well, she didn't necessarily ask me to do this," he explained as if he'd read my mind. "When we had lunch a few days ago, she mentioned Deklyne not picking you up on the regular and that you usually had to hunt for rides home." He shrugged again as he pulled out of the parking lot and into traffic. "I just figured I could do this to make it up to you for being an ass the other day."

I said nothing else for a while. I didn't take his word for it that he'd continue to pick me up from school. With all three of my sisters after him, I knew there was going to be little time left for him to make routine pit stops for me.

We rode in silence for quite some time, and I was comfortable with it. He didn't seem to mind my quietness, either. I really thought it was weird that he didn't have a problem with it because some people thought I was being stuck up and rude when I would rather sit in silence than have a conversation.

It made me wonder what Gordon thought about at times like this because this wasn't the first time we'd just sat in each other's company. He could have been thinking I was a psycho or some other kind of nut for being so quiet. He could be annoyed with me or he could just be thinking I'm pathetic and he'll get points with one of my sisters for being nice to me. He probably wants me to just sit here quiet so he doesn't have to deal with me.

I took a chance to steal a peek at him, stupidly thinking I could figure him out if I just watched him long enough. It was like he knew I wanted to watch him though because he turned to make eye contact with me just as I turned to him. My face flushed immediately, and I snapped my head forward. I heard him let out a chuckle, and I wanted to cut myself for being so embarrassing.

"You think I'm sexy? I see you sneaking peeks," he said and chuckled again.

I felt my temperature elevate, and I wanted nothing but to be out of his car. The worst scenario was already playing out in my head, and my stomach was turning because of it. Sitting in silence and keeping my head straight seemed like the best thing I could do for myself at this point.

"Ladies choice today. You can have it now or you want to take it home? Just let me know what you want, baby, and I got you," he told me in a silk tone.

My heart fluttered when I heard his question. I didn't want anything for him, and I didn't want him to think that. When they did, they thought they could do anything to me because _'_ _I wanted it_ _.'_ Just thinking about all the things Gordon probably thought I wanted sent my head spinning and caused me to button the top button of my shirt and wrap myself tighter in my cardigan.

I tried to keep my panic to myself, but he must have read it on my face because he grabbed my hand and squeezed it. A long enough pause was shared between us before I finally looked at him then he lifted my hand in his to point to the McDonald's he had just pulled into.

"Off of the menu, baby. That's all I meant. Whatever you want off of the menu, I got you. Do you want to eat in or take it home?"

Yet again I had embarrassed myself. I couldn't even understand how I'd gotten so wrapped up in my thoughts that I hadn't even noticed my surroundings. I was doing nothing but staring out of the window; how could I not notice the huge display of golden arches and put two and two together?

Timidly and with a bit of uncertainty, I shook my head. "Nothing. I'm just ready to get home," I finally answered him in a low tone.

"It doesn't have to be from the dollar menu. You can even get large," he said with playfulness in his tone.

I still shook my head, then put it down to keep from further embarrassing myself. He didn't press the issue as he went on to the drive-thru.

"Let me get a number one," he began as he pulled up to the speaker, "and umm . . . Which meal is the Deluxe Quarter Pounder?"

"Number nine, sir. It's right there between the number eight and the number ten."

"Well let me get a number nine and a number one, sir. Cokes for both, if you don't mind, sir." Gordon mimicked the young, white, male's voice, obviously ticked at his rudeness.

"That's going to be thirteen eighty-nine. Next window, please?"

Gordon pulled through and cursed at the employee for trying to keep up the "polite employee act," as he called it. He told the teen to go ahead and be bold and say what he wanted to say, going on to call the teen a rude, dumbass, punk bitch, then explaining that he was just being an example of boldness for the kid. I wanted to laugh, but only a small frown revealed itself on my face. Once we pulled off, Gordon apologized to me.

"I don't like getting like that, but that dude pissed me off."

I wanted to tell him that I'd heard worst, some things out of my sisters' mouths and most things directed at me from my one of sisters' mouth.

"You want the Big Mac or the Deluxe?"

I didn't directly answer and just grabbed the Deluxe from the bag.

"I ain't say start eating in my damn car." I heard the tease in his voice, despite him attempting to reprimand me.

"I like their tea better." I took a sip from a cup after plucking the straw in, and Gordon took a few quick glances at me.

"Your ass should have said something then."

It didn't take us long to get to my home, and I hadn't eaten one bite, so I placed the sandwich back in the bag. Gordon shuffled around for a few seconds to grab a few things, and I held onto the bag before he finally picked up the drink carrier. For some reason I wasn't nervous about being around him. I was actually starting to feel a bit at ease, and that was the strange part about it. I never felt at ease with anyone other than Dani. Even when I was around Neila I felt I had to be on guard a little.

I tried to take another peek at Gordon to study him I guess, but he was watching me as if he was trying to figure me out too. Before I could look away he winked at me, and I felt my face flush. There was no doubt he noticed, but he didn't say anything. He just walked over and wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we walked past Deklyne's and Maurice's cars.

The first feeling that washed over me was panic then relief then comfort and then vengeance oddly enough. I smiled at the thought that Deklyne was about to blow her chances to win this bet. I figured once Gordon saw Deklyne kissing on Maurice, he'd move right along. That would be the best decision he could ever make in his life.

They weren't in the living room or kitchen when we walked in, and I just thought that was an even better sign. I knew Gordon wouldn't be hurt by her slut behavior, so the worse she looked the worse her chances for impressing Gordon would be. I could tell he wasn't the type for games and the run around.

I tried to listen closely to hear any signs of them, but Gordon just ushered me into the kitchen. He said he wanted to eat first before anything with Deklyne could "jump off." If only he knew.

We both sat next to each other at the kitchen bar, in what I was finally able to consider to be comfortable silence. I would have been fine with that, but I thought back to both of the times I wanted to get a better look at him and he'd caught me. I wanted to take another chance now that he was concentrating on eating, but I was still nervous. Finally, I eased my eyes toward him, making sure not to move my head.

For a few seconds, I just watched the movement of his jaw. I found it interesting that he didn't scarf his food down like most males I saw eating, still he wasn't a delicate eater. At least he kept his mouth closed to keep in the gigantic bites he took.

I watched his hands holding his burger, and I almost cracked a smile. His fingers were long, and his hands were handsome. It was obvious he took care of them. I doubted he was a man for labor, but there were a few scares here and there. Maybe he was the type that didn't mind getting his hands dirty, he just thinks first.

The cuff on his navy blue dress shirt was raised a bit, but I only saw part of the boy kicking a beehive tattoo that I heard stopped just below his elbow. Dani said it wrapped completely around his fore arm. He told her he got it because he sometimes felt he couldn't help but kick start things he knew would turn around and sting him in some way. Dani always made me laugh when she'd say wanted to lick honey off that tattoo.

I thought it was interesting though that his physical appearance and his dress always contrasted with each other. He was adorned with many tattoos, so I'd heard between Deklyne's and Dani's description of him. He always wears a diamond earring in one of his ears, and he often talks with a twang that gives away his roots to the country south. Yet his dress is always of business. I've yet to ever see him in jeans, a t-shirt, or sneakers.

Thinking longer about his looks caused my eyes to inadvertently go back to his face. I could only see his profile, but I knew he was an attractive man. The first time I saw him, even though he was making me nervous, I was attracted to him. I'd never been attract to anyone, but when I looked at him, something captivated me.

I searched his face more, becoming a little more comfortable with looking at him. One main thing that caught my breath for a second or two was his eyes. They were beautiful. They were always inviting and never deceitful. You could read his true emotions in them, and they always matched his actions.

That's what it was, he had honest eyes, eyes that could force you to trust him without him even asking you to.

I lowered my gaze to his lips, still moving along with his rhythmic chewing. I found myself smiling at the way he was eating. I tried to remember his smile, but all that popped into my head was his smirk. He smirked at me a lot, probably because he found me amusing. I always did something stupid in front of him. He never talked about me, though. He only chuckled and smirked at me. Thinking about it caused me to chuckle, and his eyes shot to me.

I quickly straightened up and put my focus on my own food. I felt his eyes on me, but I dared not look at him. Suddenly the room was becoming too small and the air becoming too thick. The thought occurred to me to sprint to my room, but I was paralyzed.

"You know what I like about you, Terri?"

I waited a good minute, bit and swallowed my food before answering him, but I still wouldn't look at him. "What?"

"I can just chill with you. You don't get all extreme. Like," he said before stuffing a few fries in his mouth. "take right now for example: we're in here just kicking it. There's no dramatics with you." From the corner of my eye I noticed him give a light shrug. "But I do wish you would talk to me more."

A few seconds of silence ticked by as he wiped his mouth then leaned over and brought me closer to him so he could kiss my cheek. "But at least you're gorgeous. It's always nice to be in the company of a gorgeous woman even if she doesn't want to talk to you." He went back to his eating, but I could no longer focus on my food.

I couldn't believe he'd just said that to me. I tried so hard not to get worked up over hearing that, but I couldn't deny that I wanted to hear him say it again. "You really think that?" He looked at me in confusion as he munched on more fries. "That . . . That I'm gorgeous."

"Hell yeah," he said with his mouth still full, and he said it as if that was something I shouldn't even have to ask.

I took a second to look at him, and it was like he knew I wanted to say something else to him. I don't know how he knew, but he just sat there smirking at me until I was comfortable enough to open my mouth again.

"What is it . . . " It was hard getting what I wanted to say out, but still he never rushed me. "What would you say is nice about me?"

He watched me a little while longer, of course with his smirk. "Everything really. You don't have just one main quality like a nice butt or great breast." He told me, but I kind of deflated after that.

I knew I didn't have any of that, and he was basically trying not to hurt my feelings by telling me he liked "everything," all while trying to hint that I didn't have a great butt or tits.

"A lot of females need that one quality to exploit, you don't though. You're the total package."

I looked away from him, a little embarrassed, and I felt him tuck some of my hair behind my ear. I turned to face him again, and this time he actually smiled at me and pushed my food closer to me before continuing his own meal.

"We could go deeper real quick and I could tell you what _I'm_ ," he emphasized as if he was about to break everything down according to _'_ _his law_ _'_. I couldn't help the slight smile on my face due to his goofiness, "personally drawn to is your lips. They're sexy. They turn me on," he said with food in his mouth before taking a long sip of his drink and keeping a steady gaze on me. I almost let out a burst of laughter. "Your eyes are sexy too. You're doe-eyed. And your nose."

"You don't like my nose," I said with a barely audible chuckle.

"Yes I do too." He laughed and leaned over to kiss my cheek again, but it was pretty close to my lips. "But I really love your lips and your eyes." I was paralyzed again for a few moments as he went back to eating. "Just don't tell Dani I was saying all this."

I frowned not knowing why he wouldn't want to admit to the things he'd just said. He must have felt my glare because he looked at me then smirked.

"It ain't like that, baby. It's just that woman is crazy. I don't want her thinking I'm trying to push up on her baby sister while we're trying to figure each other out. But if you want to go bragging that sexy ass Gordon appreciates your beauty, I don't mind that."

"You really think you're someone to brag about?" I teased him. I really wanted to hear more compliments from him, but I didn't want to push my luck.

"Damn real."

At that very second I heard steps moving away from the kitchen doorway or at least I thought I heard something. I didn't see anything though, and Gordon obviously didn't hear anything or he just didn't care.

"So . . . " I tried to keep the conversation going, but I really didn't know what to say.

"So what's up with your refrigerator? I'm out of drink," he told me, slurping on his drink and looking at me like I was supposed to fix his current problem.

I smiled as he just stared at me and continued to slurp. "There's nothing else in there," I said and took his cup from him, "and the refrigerator is right there. I know you're not a rocket scientist but come on."

"See, after I just shower you in compliments, you cut me down."

I chuckled again at him. "I didn't cut you—" Before I could finish, a scream shot through the house.

I knew it was Deklyne, but it wasn't the scream of pleasure I figured we'd eventually be hearing. Her scream was one of terror and pain, and Gordon was from his seat in seconds. After watching and replaying him sitting beside me then leaving a few times, I took a few swift steps to tail him.

I made it to Deklyne's door seconds after Gordon was completely in. I didn't want to go in, but I did want to watch Gordon. He walked over to Deklyne, who stood planted on the wall with tears streaming down her face. Maurice stood on the opposite wall and glared at her.

"I hate you," she spat at Maurice and bawled, but I knew she was faking.

It was obvious to both Maurice and I that she was faking, but Gordon looked to be taking whatever bait she was laying out just for him. He stepped closer to her, but stopped and looked at Maurice.

"How could you?" she blubbered.

"Deklyne, I'm not going to play games with you," Maurice told her, and his voice was menacing.

"You don't even care about what you've done? That was your child too!"

"Shut up!" Maurice tried to come for her, but Gordon blocked him. Maurice pushed Gordon, and I knew Gordon was seconds from getting physical himself.

"I had your child growing inside me, but all you cared about—"

"Don't you stand in my face and start lying, Deklyne! I promise to God, you will regret it! I will knock you the fuck out!"

"Hey!" Gordon took a step closer to Maurice, squaring himself for a physical confrontation. "Whatever happened, you don't need to bring it to putting your hands on a female."

"This has nothing to do with you!" Maurice stood in Gordon's face, and I wanted to kill Deklyne for causing this.

"You got something to say to her, I won't stop you. As far as you knocking her the fuck out, as a man, I have a problem with that."

"You must be her new bitch, huh?" Maurice laughed a pained laugh, and I was sure he was about to snap.

"I'm nobody's bitch," Gordon replied in a daring tone.

"You must be if you're about to let her play you."

"You made me get that abortion!" Deklyne shouted, probably to keep Maurice from blowing her little scheme.

"Deklyn—" Maurice tried to warn her, but she was cutting him off in milliseconds.

"You made me kill our child!"

Maurice was pass Gordon in seconds. There was no way you could miss the raw pain in his eyes, but Gordon was too focused on _protecting_ Deklyne. I grabbed him hoping to slow him down then I pounced on Maurice to shield him from Gordon. Maurice wasn't rough with me though, placing his arm around my waist to try and maneuver me away. I held tight to his shirt and pushed him closer to the door, and Gordon moved to Deklyne.

"You are a fucked up bitch, Deklyne!"

"Get out!"

"This is the last time!" he screamed.

"Get out!" she blubbered pathetically.

Maurice shrugged me off and my eyes went to Deklyne. I read the threat perfectly, and she dared me to say something. Maurice was gone before I could even blink, and Deklyne was dropping to the ground in a display of brokenness. Gordon didn't hesitate, and began to console her. The entire sight made me sick. All I could think to do was lock myself away from it all.

Despite what I thought I was beginning to see in Gordon, it was now clear that he was an idiot. He was simple, and if he was going to allow himself to be manipulated by Deklyne, he wasn't anyone I needed to concern myself with.

Twenty-Five : Dani

I had finally settled the boy down in front of the TV, so my nerves were already pushing their limits. I couldn't understand why he was being so fussy today. It was days like this when I wished he was still stuffed in my stomach and all I needed was a nice lobster dinner to calm him down. I was counting down the days until his father was done with that trial in California. He needed to hurry up and relocate to the firm here so he could take this crying, pooping, time consuming nuisance off of my hands.

Thinking about that man did however bring a humorous smile to my face as I sipped on my rum filled drink. He was ready to uproot his lavish life in California for a chance at having a family and a life with me here.

I wasn't at all misleading and set the ground rules for him before hand, but he just believes motherhood will change me. As soon as he's here, he plans on us being a family. He understands that I'm giving full custody to him when he moves here, but he believes in very little time a family with him is all I'll want.

All he and any other man could do was amuse me. So desperate for that one thing, they were willing to do anything—or rather say they'll do anything. Men are simple creatures, and the best part of controlling them was watching them beg.

Mama was so right, _"_ _A man is just like a plate of food: when you need him_ _—_ _only have the best, when you've had your fill_ _—_ _you play with the rest, and when it's all said and done_ _—_ _he's just shit that you need to flush away_ _."_

I laughed out loud when the boy rolled his chubby body to look at me. I was sure when he was older he'd look exactly like his father and that sloppy fat would disappear.

"Your father better get here soon. I'm not about to keep paying that woman to keep you. Her mouth is about to get her sent to the hospital."

A sharp pain shot through my head as I thought about that woman. Gloria's old ass always fussed when I dropped the boy off at random times, but why did she think I was letting her stay in that apartment for? As soon as his father came to take him, she was back to her girl's place. I didn't give a damn if there was no room in that raggedy apartment they crammed into.

Done with thinking about the issues with my life, I finally turned my attention to the news reporter giving another report about some senseless college kids shooting the homeless with paintball guns. They'd been arrested, but nothing but age range was revealed about the suspects. I figured it was because they were white. The media was funny that way.

Regardless of the church's food, clothes, and school supplies donation drives or mission centers for homeless and battered women fundraisers or any other community uplifting story, the face time blacks predominately got on the news was for the senseless and violent crimes committed. Per contra, a faceless suspect or perp is seven times out of ten a white suspect or perp.

I'll never believe the crimes committed by blacks shouldn't be reported or that crimes comment by whites are not reported. And I'm also fully aware of the reconstruction needed in my own social community, but it annoys me when only one depiction of the community is paraded repeatedly. It seems even the disappearance of a young minority child is not as important to give face time as the young minority man who guns down someone.

I flipped the channel, a pang of guilt threatening to surface because I'd decided to leave college and turn my back on the group fighting for the betterment of our black community.

Nonetheless, life happened and choices were made. It was clear that the life of an advocate wasn't the one for me. Two semesters in college and I thought I was a changed woman. I thought I could help someone? I thought I could care for someone? I thought I could be a person others could look up to and lean on?

I know now Danielle Heart will always be Danielle Heart. Still, the memories had their scars, and I could remember so vividly where I felt I began to realize who I really was.

I bounced April in my lap as she laughed at the other kids running around the playground. She was six and had a fun and the silliest personality, but she was shy when there were too many kids around her. Every time I'd come here, I'd find her by herself with a look screaming for somebody to pay attention to her. She won my heart the first time I'd seen her, and now every Monday through Friday I'd stop by Stephani's class just to see my little angel.

"April, don't you want to go play with the other kids?" Stephani walked over to ask, and I heard the annoyance in her voice. She always considered April to be her troublesome student.

"I want to stay with Miss Dani."

"Miss Dani is too old to be your friend, April. We've talked about this."

"But I—"

"How about this?" I cut April off and rubbed her back because I saw her getting upset. "You go play with them for the rest of the time, and the next time I come I'll have a surprise for you?" She just pouted and leaned her head on me. "And if your mama says it's okay, I'll take you to the movies, to get ice cream, and whatever else you want to do. Okay?"

She slowly slide off my lap and gave me a tight hug. "Okay," she said sullenly.

"I'm going to miss you, sweetheart," I told her, hoping she'd reply with our signature adieu. If she did, I knew she'd be alright.

"Sweetheart, missing you I am," she said with her mother's southern accent, and we both laughed. "After you see your mama today, will you come talk to Mama so she can say yes?" I laughed, nodded, and kissed her on her forehead before she ran off.

Stephani sat down beside me and sighed, and I knew she was about to break into a speech. "Dani, I don't know how healthy it is for you to keep coming here when she's supposed to be at recess. She's supposed to be learning how to interact with her peers.

"She feels like an outcast. You should encourage her and make her feel comfortable about herself, not force her into situations that terrifies her."

"Dani, who's the teacher? I went to school for this. Not only that, other parents might start getting uncomfortable with the fact that my kid sister's friend is always stopping by to have private time with one of my students."

I just rolled my eyes at her comment and decided it was time for me to leave. I had other pressing issues I had to deal with today, and her negative attitude was just adding more stress to what I was soon about to face.

Within forty minutes I was walking through the front door of the apartment my mother stayed in. The smell was awful and the entire atmosphere killed any sign of happiness. Mama was stretched out on her couch, still in the clothes I'd seen her in last week. As soon as she heard me, she sat up and smirked at me. She belched before looking hard at the shirt I was wearing.

"Collin University," she said mockingly. "Dani, what the fuck do you think you doing? What is that place doing for you?" she asked me with the alcohol reeking on her breath.

I picked up the bottles she'd already emptied, but I knew better than to try and pry the half empty one from her hand. "Mama, I already told you." I sighed, hating that my sisters decided to back out of this little checkup and forced me to come here alone.

"And I already told your ass," she fussed.

I sighed again as I threw the bottles and other trash away. I hated to see the way Mama lived. It was absolutely grotesque. She had nothing of her own anymore. After everything she'd "worked" for, now all she had left was her harsh words. Fortunately for her, the tricks and rules on how to deal with men that she'd taught me had allowed me to make money off men since I was fourteen.

She'd taught me that a man's lust was his drive and that my candy was the most important thing I had, and I used that knowledge. I used it to keep her in this apartment, and I used it to keep her refrigerator and her cabinets full. I used it to get her every other necessity she needed because I'd already learned my lesson with just giving her the money. I made sure that because she couldn't be trusted to take care of herself that I would at least take care of her finances, but now I'm seeing how that's hindering her. She lives like an animal, and she just sits here wasting away. Still, I knew I would never be able to bring myself to cut her off regardless of how she chose to live. She was still my mama, after all.

I can admit that it took a lot for me to get to this point, to actually care about another human so sincerely, especially Mama. Up until I was eighteen, I was a reckless bitch. I didn't care about anything. I felt I deserved everything, and I was willing to do anything to get what I wanted. I didn't care who I had to hurt or use to get it. I knew I was selfish. I was so low down. I was just so angry and took it out on everyone.

Then Neila forced me into college. She made me promise to go or she was going to be through with school herself. From day one, I knew Neila would be the one that would make something of herself, and I couldn't let her give up her future because I wanted to take what she thought was the easy route. But it all turned out for the best because now at nineteen I was finally doing something with myself. I wasn't sleeping with dudes just to make money and to make Mama proud by following in her footsteps. I was doing good, and I was finally on the right path.

"The fuck you think college goin' do for a bitch like you?" she cursed at me, breaking me from my mental pep talk.

"Mama," I complained and slammed a carton of spoiled milk into the trash, "it's going to give me a chance not to end up like this." I tried to keep the anger out of my voice, but I was tired of hearing the same shit from her.

"End up like what?" She leaned forward as her voice raised at me. "You think you goin' turn out any better than me? Bitch, you started fucking at fourteen! I didn't start 'til I was eighteen! Then I fucked up and got pregnant and had to find a way to take care of your ass. But," she said being dramatic, "I was at least making real money. I never gave it up to a nigga for a gotdamn happy meal. That was you"

I shook my head and paced back and forth, trying my hardest not to get too worked up so fast. I'd just gotten here, and since I'd taken the time to come out here, I didn't want this to be a wasted trip.

"I got money, bitch!" she went on. "I got us a house! I got us cars! Jonny bought your first car or did you forget that! We was eating, bitch. We was good. I kept you in designer shit, nothing like the bullshit ass, trifling ass, weak dick ass niggas you kept bringing home."

I walked away from her, but she wasn't about to stop her rant and followed me to the kitchen.

"I tried to teach you."

"Teach me what, Mama?" My voice shook as anger and embarrassment entered my mind.

"How to be that bitch that's worth something! You're only as valuable as your chocolate coated candy, and if all your sweets can get you is a damn happy meal, then baby girl, you ain't shit." She laughed as I slammed her cluttered dishes in her sink. "You ain't goin' mean nothing to no man but pussy, so you better make sure what you get from him is something you can gotdamn use, bitch. He won't care what he has to do to get it. I've told you this a thousand times."

"Which is why I'm sick of hearing it."

"What he wants don't matter."

"I know, Mama. That's the golden rule," I told her with cynicism.

"Damn right it is! Men don't do relationships. They don't care about them. He may tell you he wants to have a family or he wants you to be his wife or he wants to be your man, but it's all bullshit."

"Please give me strength, Father?" I prayed under my breath. Every time I came over, the conversation always switched to this topic, even if I only asked if she wanted takeout or a home cooked meal.

"Everything a man says he wants is a lie because he'll give it all up for the next bitch that's willing to give him some. A man don't see nothing else else in a woman pass that."

"Uh huh," I said dryly.

"Listen when I tell you this! The moment they open their mouth to talk to you, they're plotting to get that coochie. They throw compliments at you, tell you they care, they see something in you—that's the main one. When a nigga tell you he sees something in you, he's talking about his dick. He don't want nothing else from you, and you'll be a damn fool to believe him. You remember what Tavaris did. He went off to college because that's what he wanted. He ain't give a shit about you, did he? Now you want to go to college too."

"Will you give that shit a rest! Please?" I put away some of her seasonings and her sugar and closed other cabinets and drawers that were left open.

"That cooch is all they want, so you just get what you can then you throw them away before they throw you away. I'm teaching you real shit. College is about to have you looking like a fool. You think you goin' make it in this white man's world just because you go to college?"

"Enough!" I spun around to face her, and she threw her hands up in confusion.

"I'm trying to enlighten your little stupid ass! You got the most potential to be somebody, instead you want to go play the good ole house niggra to those white folks."

"What white folks, Mama!" I yelled at her. "You always talking about the white man this, white women that! There's nothing wrong with white people!"

"You think a white man will ever want your black ass? Even with the looks I've blessed you with, you think a white man will ever see you as anything more than dirt?"

"It's not guaranteed that all white men will see me that way, Mama."

"All white men are alike!" I just shook my head at her and threw away the noodles she'd left in the microwave. "Deklyne's daddy is white! Did he ever give a fuck about that bitch?"

"Did mine? Did Neila's? Did Terri's? That was your fault! I guess you ain't pick the right mother fuckers to lay up with either."

She laughed and walked around the kitchen a little, and I couldn't do anything but watch her. "The white people don't care nothing about us, and you know that shit. If you ain't believe that, you wouldn't be in that damn save the niggras club you're in."

"I joined it because I was listening to your bullshit. Thankfully, it did open my eyes to a lot of things about blacks and whites . . . and myself."

"Did it show you how you'll never be more than what's between your legs, especially to these white bastards? Hell, just look at your sister. She's half white, and still no white man will have her. Deklyne's half white, and she can't even get the white bastards to care about her. And don't forget that bitch is full blown crazy. She acts just like the whites, but she still ain't shit!"

"She gets that from you, not her white father! Her father is rich and living a healthy life with his wife and a few grand kids, but her black ass mama lives in this pigsty and can't take care of herself because she's a fucking alcoholic!"

Before I could react, she'd hurled her bottle at me, and it shattered against my face. It didn't take long for the pain to kick in and the blood to start gushing from my lip and gums. I brought my hand to my mouth, still a little in shock and gasping from the sight of the blood that seemed like it didn't want to stop flowing. What really sent me over the top was watching as two of my front teeth fell out of my mouth, and she just stood there laughing.

"Let's just see how those white bastards treat you now, since now you're nothing but a snaggletooth, little, nigga bitch."

The extended buzzing at my door snapped me back to reality, but I did catch myself running my tongue across the tooth implants that sat behind the scar on my bottom lip. After a second thought, I was off my couch and in the living room. Because of my trip down memory lane and the jackass laying on my buzzer, I almost snatched the door off its hinges when I opened it. Then even after the door was open, Gordon held his finger on the buzzer and just stared at it.

He knew the door was open, and he probably knew how pissed I was from the way I'd opened the door. Still, he sat there holding the buzzer. My last nerve had long been gone, and I was just about to slap him, but he was quick with his moments. With one hand, he held my swinging hand behind my back and pulled me to his body. With his other hand, he closed the door behind him, and before I had time to protest, his lips were on mine.

God did they feel so soft against mine, and as much as I wanted to, I couldn't keep my agitation with him. My soul didn't even want to fight him; it only coaxed me to further let down my guard. I heard myself moan into his mouth, and I felt his one hand release its hold on my arm as it slid down to my ass. I wanted him to squeeze it, but he stopped and it seemed like he had to force himself to bring his hand to the small of my back. He wrapped his other arm around my waist, then lifted me up so that he didn't have to stoop to kiss me. He lifted me with ease, and he didn't struggle at all to keep me in the air.

This kiss got me so horny so fast, and it put me on such a high that I could feel myself getting dizzy from the effect of his kiss. My arms slowly went around his neck as I let out another soft moan.

At that moment I felt something pulling me to him, but it wasn't physical. It was almost like I felt him calling me, and I felt myself running in his direction. I didn't even want to resist. I wasn't even scared of this sudden rush of emotions. Part of me felt excited and the other part felt relief, relief from what I had no clue.

He slowly let me slide down and eventually let our lips slip away from each other. I caught his slow smile and his captivating twinkle. His eyes could always win my smile, and in this moment they were close to winning something else. That thought drummed against my brain, and for the first time since he'd held me, I wanted to be away from him.

I broke our eye contact, dropped my smile, and gripped his hands to push them away. He only moved one though and place it under my chin to lift my eyes back to his.

"I missed you," he coolly told me. His voice so calming that it only unnerved me more. "I've been waiting for you to call, but I guess you just haven't had the time."

"No I haven't, Gordon," I said, a bit out of breath.

"Now how is that possible when you don't even work?"

"That doesn't mean much. I still have responsibilities," I told him while trying to squirm away again.

He let his hand that had been under my chin drop to his side, then he leaned to give me another kiss. I didn't welcome it, but it was beyond myself to resist it. My mind was again temporarily erased as all I could think about was being in his arms. My only relief came when he moved away from me to fully walk into my home.

"That is true," he said, but I couldn't even remember what we were talking about before. He began taking in my furnishing and decorations, picking up pictures and small sculptures. "How is it you can afford all that you have without a job, baby? I mean you have a 2013 Benz, nothing but the most notable designers have been on your body, you are the true Diamond Princess, and you live in this gorgeous waterfront home. I mean look at this place. This makes my place look like shit, and I got a nice place."

He walked further into my living room, stepping up the three steps leading to the dining area big enough for a twelve person table. I only had a long, eight person table, however. Behind that was the wide, double sliding, glass doors that led to my open patio which looked out to my spacious backyard. It sat above the elegantly fenced bank leading to the lake. He let out a sigh as he gazed out the doors. Finally, he stepped towards the kitchen, the long bar being the only barrier between the dining area and the kitchen.

Before he could comment further, that boy was at it again. Gordon just gave me a puzzled look. I ignored it, and took off down a hallway that led to my den.

Seconds after I pulled his bottle from his bag that sat in the recliner, Gordon had the boy in his hands and was reaching for the bottle. He bounced the boy and nuzzled him while the boy sat up in his arms and practically fed himself. The sight was strangely comforting to me, and I was out of that room before Gordon could blink, splashing water on my face as I tried to pull myself together.

Minutes later, I was still tucked away, and Gordon was tapping at the door. Once I finally opened it, I saw Gordon still had the boy. I wanted to be mad and yell for Gordon to put him down, but I just silently walked past the both of them and back into the den.

"What's his name, baby?" he asked once he was in the room with me again.

I wouldn't look at either of them. Something in my head was beginning to sound alarms, and I hated it. "Chris," I reluctantly said.

"I didn't know you had a little boy, too. I want a son." He lifted the boy into the air, making him laugh and scream. "Why is Mama looking so upset, huh?" he asked the boy in baby talk. "You think Mama needs a kiss from you?"

Again I wanted anger to rise in me, but it settled. "I need you to leave, Gordon." My eyes still couldn't find their way back to him, so I just busied myself by straightening the already clean room.

"I just got here." I heard the confusion in his voice, but I needed him out of my space.

"There's a reason why I haven't called you."

"You have your hands full with Alexis and this little one." He bounced the boy and smiled at him, irritating me by thinking he knew anything about me. He knew nothing about me, and he meant nothing to me.

"Gordon, I said get out." My eyes were finally able to stand his own, and I could see them burning. "Get out," I said again with force and anger now finding their way back to me.

He was quiet and returned his gaze to the boy for a moment as he giggled and grabbed at the air. "Why?" His voice was colorless, but his eyes continued to speak volumes.

"I was dead ass serious when I told you I wanted nothing to do with you unless you would give me what I wanted."

"I'm not just giving you sex." His voice was hard now, and the boy whimpered and wiggled in his arms. He let out a breath and rubbed the boy's back before placing him back on his pallet. He walked closer to me, and I walked back into the living room. He opened his mouth to speak, but I beat him to it.

"I don't date. That's all there is too it. I don't want to date. You don't want to have sex. I understand that, so I'm not wasting my time with you anymore."

"I'm a waste of your time?" he asked as if I'd offended him.

"Biggest."

He scoffed and eyed me. "What the fuck? So after I find a way to have some tolerance for your crazy ass sisters because I figured that would make this easier, you pull this?"

"I never asked you to tolerate anything. I told you how this was going to be and either you were going to deal or you weren't. It's already been established that I don't play games. There's only the bottom line with me."

"The bottom line," he said as if the words left a bad taste in his mouth. "And what the hell is the bottom line?"

"Do not play dumb." We both knew he only wanted sex. The games he was trying to play were so irritating and beside the point. "We only have one common interest. You want to make things difficult for only God knows why."

"You know what I just noticed?" He was clearly annoyed, but he kept his temper in check. "You're not being yourself."

"How am I not being myself?"

"You haven't called me sweetheart yet."

I shrugged, a frown heavily on my face. "And what does that mean?"

"It means you're picking your words very carefully. All of this shit you're saying means nothing because if it was truly how you felt, it would just come out. You wouldn't have to concentrate so hard only to lie through your teeth."

"And just what the fuck do I have to lie about?"

"Me being a waste of your time."

"You are!"

"Bullshit! You pursued me hard then when you find out I can make your ass just as weak as you make me you want to push me away."

"The last thing you do is make me weak," I fussed. He just chuckled as if he didn't believe me. "I am pushing you away, but it's because you're not giving me what I want. It's not because you make me weak," I argued, weakly trying to correct him.

"Yes I do, and the only time I've ever known a person to react like this is when they're scared." I wouldn't say anything to him, but I was sure he could read my irritation as clear as day in my body language. "How do I scare you, Danielle?"

"You don't," I fussed at him again.

He just smirked, and his eyes were full of amusement. "Danielle, I can tell, baby. In all honesty, I'm tripping too. I don't have the best track record with picking them, but even when I tried, I couldn't ignore you. And I don't want to rush this because I know we both have things we need to work on with ourselves. And I don't want to walk away either because I see so much more in you."

My eye twitched in reaction to his words, and those words echoed in my head for what felt like hours before I could focus on him again. Those words got to me and hit me deep. Anger and embarrassment was all I felt. In the back of my mind something had been telling me to listen to him, but he'd just opened my eyes with that one statement, and my hand was across his face in seconds. His stupid smirk was gone, and the look he gave me only proved the bullshit of what was truly on his mind. If he wanted sex I told him he could have it. There was no need for him to go through all of this to make a fool of me.

"I told you to get out of my house, bitch! Don't come to me with any more of your bullshit! I don't do relationships, and neither do men, so stay the fuck away from me! As simple as I know you are, I know you understand what that means. Do not bring your punk ass near me!"

I yelled more insults at him and shoved him a bit to the door, but I wasn't aware of much that I was doing. My head was spinning so fast that I didn't even register what he'd said to me, and I didn't even notice when he'd walked out the door because I was still yelling at him for feeding me his bullshit. When I realized he was gone, I was just thankful for that.

To hell with this contest. Deklyne and Neila can fight over him. He was not worth my sanity. I'd rather die bitter and alone before I let any man turn me into my alcoholic, prejudice, scorned, man hating mother.

Twenty-Six : Deklyne

I grabbed my phone to ignore a call from Cris. It had been two days since we'd talked, and I told him I just needed a few days to clear my head. He figured I was having some emotional problem, and I didn't bother correcting him. I wish I had though, so he wouldn't be sending me theses stupid _'_ _I'm here for you_ _'_ messages.

Just as I was placing my phone back on the counter, I heard Neila coming through the door. It had become a hilarious routine of mine to ask her how things were going with Gordon. I knew it was driving her crazy to have to put effort into any man, and the best part was it was a man she'd already hated before she could memorize his name. Once I saw the angry scowl on her face, however, I knew to leave her the hell alone.

Before we could say two words to each other, I was on my way to my room. I did not want to witness any part of her venting about whatever was up her ass, despite today being the most boring. My day had consisted of eating, watching movies and nothing else. Still, I preferred boredom over bitching, so now I was in my room trying to avoid Terri and Neila.

Neila had been in a sour mood off and on for a while now, and Terri was just becoming annoying. She thought I couldn't hear all of the comments she'd been saying under her breath. I had come so close to beating her ass on a few occasions, but I figured I'd let her slide since each time I happened to be in a good mood, and I knew whatever I was doing was probably only making her feel more like the waste of breath she is.

I looked at my phone again, a bit irritated that Gordon had dropped down my recent calls' log. He should have been checking on me by now. After that Oscar winning performance, there's no way that I should have been off his mind. Shit, had he really been like Cris or Maurice, he would have been calling to check on me that night or at least the next morning. Here it was days and he still hadn't even texted me. I scrolled down until I found his name, but before pressing the talk button, I made sure to prepare my voice for my act. I wanted him to think I had just had another breakdown, but I wanted him to believe this one was far worse than the ones I'd had in front of him.

He answered on the third ring, and his voice sounded a little groggy. "Hello?" The deepness of his tone put a smile on my face, and amazingly, filthy thoughts in my head.

I actually had to take a second to get back into my role. "Gordon," I sniffed and let out a small cry. "Gordon, I nee"—I noisily cut off a sob that was attempting to fight its way out. I had to admit, I was damn proud of the way I was pulling these emotions out. Most of my audiences had gotten so use to them, I thought I was losing my touch.

"Deklyne, what's wrong?"

I took my time answering him, causing him to call my name a second time. "I'm just . . . I needed somebody to talk to," I whimpered. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I . . . "

"Just tell me what happened."

I let a long sob out and tried to talk through it. "I just can't stop thinking about what happened . . . what I did." I sniffled again and coughed. "God, Gordon! How could I let him convince me to do something like that?"

"Deklyne, calm down for me. Okay?"

"I can't clam down. Every day I wake up thinking what a fucking idiot I am." I wiped a tear that had started to itch and irritate me. "Can you imagine what it feels like to lose a child?" I attempted to fuss a little, hoping he'd think my feelings were as sensitive as a hair trigger.

"No I can't, and I really don't want to."

"Exactly! Losing your child would be the most painful thing you'd probably have to go through."

"Something like that would literally kill me, and I'd literally kill the person who was the cause of it." I heard the sympathy in his voice, but unlike other times, hearing it didn't bother me.

"And I literally killed my child, Gordon." The harsh tone in my voice was on purpose, and he picked up on what I'd been expecting him to.

"I didn't mean to say that. I'm sorry." I didn't verbally respond to him, just whimpered pitifully. "I'm sorry that you're feeling so torn up, too," he finally said after a long pause. I knew he was racking his brain on how he could make me feel better, but I also knew I had to ease my idea on him.

"You can't expect me to just be okay with this, can you?"

"No, baby." He let out a heavy breath, but I didn't hear annoyance in it. "Listen, don't get worked up right now over small things. You're already dealing with too much. I'm not trying to piss you off with the way I phrase things. Okay?"

I was quiet for a while, letting him think I was considering his words. "I know, Gordon." I paused again and let out a mournful hum. "I'm not . . . I'm not trying to . . . What I'm saying is I'm not mad at you. I just really need somebody."

"I can try to be there for you. I know we've had our differences, but it's hard to just watch somebody fall apart from carrying around too much."

I made sure to wait an appropriate amount of time before speaking again. "Gordon," I said timidly, "is it alright if I come over?" He didn't answer right away, and his hesitation was slowly pissing me off the longer he stayed quiet. I knew the silence wasn't a good sign. "It's just, Neila's still at work, Terri's off with a friend, and Dani has never been the type to turn to when you have a problem." He was still quiet, but I knew I couldn't tell him how irritating he was being. "I really need somebody." I forced myself to sound pathetic, and I couldn't understand why he was being so difficult. He'd just said he'd be there for me, but the second I wanted him to prove it, he goes mute.

Another ten seconds ticked by before I heard movement through the receiver. "Yeah, yeah. You can come over." I heard the reluctance in his voice, but I didn't care about that as long as he didn't turn me down. Getting over there was the goal; it had nothing to do with him actually giving a damn. "You want to come over now?"

"Yeah. I can't sit in this room, listening to my thoughts anymore."

"Alright, uhh." He was quiet a moment or two longer. Yeah . . . uhh . . . come over."

I hung up soon after that, fixing my face so Neila wouldn't ask questions if I happened to pass her. Luckily, I didn't and I was pulling into Gordon's driveway within twenty minutes. My eyes were no longer red or puffy, so I sat in the car forcing myself to cry for a while.

Before I felt my face was ready, though, Gordon came out and walked up to my door. He opened it and knelt down beside me, just watching me for a second. I tried to wipe away some of my fresh tears, but he held my hands. He still wouldn't say anything, but he had a concerned frown on his face. I let out a fake laugh and showed him what I knew he would take as a forced smile.

"I didn't want to walk in looking like this." I laughed again and shook my head before holding it down. "I didn't want you to see me still crying."

He lifted my head up with his finger. "If you need to cry you don't have to hold it in because of me."

He helped me out of my car and walked me inside his house then he let me rest my head in his lap as he sat on his couch. For a long while we were quiet, and he was just rubbing my back as I faced the powerless TV. I made a few sniffling cries every now-and-then to keep up appearances, but I soon started making soft snoring sounds.

It wasn't long before I felt him picking me up and carrying me to his bedroom, I figured. I made sure not to open my eyes until he had me on his bed. That's when I saw him standing over me and taking off his t-shirt, but he kept his tank on. I stretched a little, and he gave me a small smirk before taking off my shoes.

"You fell asleep, and I thought you'd be more comfortable in a bed."

"Thanks," I halfheartedly replied before curling my feet up to my chest and turning my back to him.

He didn't waste any time climbing over me then maneuvering me to lay on his chest. I didn't protest at all because this was exactly what I expected him to do. He couldn't help himself; he had to be the comforter. What a gullible idiot. I mean here he was trying to make me feel better only days after telling me I wasn't a pleasure to be around. If he could turn around so fast and "care" about someone he felt like that about, he deserved to get manipulated.

He continued to rub my back like he'd been doing in the living room, and I got a strange feeling of Déjà vu. I ignored it though because I knew if I let too much time pass I would miss my moment of opportunity. I knew where his mind was more than likely going. He'd want to be my shoulder regardless, but if he got too comfortable, he might think of himself as only that.

"Do you think it's ever going to stop hurting?" I played with the collar of his shirt, and my voice was much steadier than when I first talked to him.

"To be honest, hell no. Forgiving yourself might make it easier to live with, though."

"How can I forgive myself? He told me getting an abortion would be the best thing I could do for my child. He told me I'd be the worst thing that could ever happen to a child, and I believed him. So I killed him . . . or her." I was quiet again, and he just rubbed my back. "But what's funny is now I see how great of a mother I would've been. It wouldn't be hurting me this much if I was this piece of shit mother. I'm a piece of shit mother for getting an abortion."

"It doesn't make you a bad person to get an abortion. My sister had to get one because doctors told her it was too risky not to treat her cervical cancer."

"Okay, that was a medical reason. When you let some trifling ass nigga talk you into it, it does make you a bad person—a bad mother." I sighed. "And he doesn't even care that the baby is gone. He just wants to pretend like nothing ever happened."

"You just make sure you remember. Keep your baby close to your heart. Obviously you don't want your baby erased from your memory, but this is something that happened. You have to deal with it. The best thing I can say is stay away from that dude. Surround yourself with people that's going to help you instead of hurt you." He kissed my forehead, and that was such a weak ass kiss that I knew my opportunity was slipping away.

I looked up at him with hopeful eyes. I'd had enough of the BS talk and wanted more action. I needed him to believe I was feeling better for two reasons: he needed to shut up, and he needed to get naked.

He gave me a warm look and smiled at me before brushing hair behind my ear. Then he tried to reach down the bed for the remote without making me move. I knew he wasn't going to make the first move, and I saw that as my opportunity, so I leaned up and kissed him.

His head shifted back a bit, and it was clear he was fighting to resist kissing me back. I felt his hand come to my cheek, and his grip around my waist tightened. For a few seconds we kissed then he pulled his head completely away. Before he could get his words out, my mouth was on him again, and I moved closer as his head fell all the way on the pillow. We kissed that way for a while longer, but when I tried to straddle him, he started pushing me away and climbed out of bed.

"Deklyne, baby," he laughed and looked around. "I really think we need to stop this here."

Pissed couldn't even come close to how I was feeling, but I covered my anger and showed him vulnerability as I sat up. "Gordon, I just—we weren't—"

"I know your head isn't clear right now. I can't take advantage of you like that."

"You're not taking advantage of me," I sort of fussed, but I caught myself. "I want this."

He sat beside me and rubbed my thigh. "That may be true, but this isn't right."

I felt my eyes burn with anger as I watched him, and if looks could kill, he'd be sitting in hell right now. "Why not, my sister?" I asked him bitterly.

"No—I mean yeah. That's part of it." He sighed and rubbed his hand down his face as he took his time to finish explaining himself. "Look, I know I'm not with Dani. I don't even believe that's even going to happen anymore, but there's still a line I don't want to cross. I'm not cool with jumping from sister to sister." He looked at me finally and shook his head. "And not to mention you're going through something right now. If things were to go further with us, I don't want it to be because I had an open bed at the time."

"Gordon, that's not what I was doing." I jumped up, hoping to spark some guilt in him. If he wasn't going to let me seduce him, I knew how to make him come to me. It worked with Cris every time. "I'm not some idiot thinking dick will suddenly make me feel better." I rushed out of his room, and he was right on my tail.

"Wait! Deklyne!"

"If that's why you thought I was attracted to you, than you're the idiot."

"Deklyne, you're so all over the place. I don't know how to react to you."

I opened the door, but stopped to make a dramatic pause before turning to face him again. "Gordon, I was actually starting to care about you. From the day I met you, I felt something for you, but because of this shit with Maurice and my sisters I couldn't express myself the way I wanted to. I was so messed up and confused. Then you had the nerve to be this great guy despite the shit I did and made me fall for you more then you turn around and throw my sister in my face."

I stopped talking and shut my eyes to pretend to take a calming breath, but my voice was still putting on the performance. "Gordon, I already told you that you were my distraction. You were there for me even though you didn't even know it. Hell, I didn't even realize it until it was too late." I paused my speech again, and this time wiped a tear that was being a bitch and wouldn't fall. "I wasn't over here for sex, Gordon. I was over here for you."

"Deklyne, just wait."

I slammed the door in his face. Today I couldn't seal the deal, but I knew it was only a matter of time now. He'd just said him and Dani weren't going anywhere. I knew for sure even if Neila got to his bedroom, she wouldn't be able to bring herself to sleep with Gordon just to get Terri a chance at working with me—like hell that would happen even if Neila went through with it anyway.

I looked in my mirror at Gordon standing on his porch. I was positive he would soon be calling and doing everything he could to make it up to me. A smile crept to my face as I eased down the street, heading back home. I could not wait to throw this shit in Dani's face. Now who was it that thought I couldn't get Gordon to choose me over her?

Twenty-Seven : Neila

I threw my gym bag in my backseat with my phone still stuck to my ear. I'd been calling Gordon for the past thirty minutes, trying to figure out if he was standing me up or not. I didn't bother to leave a message when I got his voicemail because I did not care to have yet another sit down for an apology dinner due to what I would end up saying to him.

Just as I was about to slip into my front seat, I whipped around at the sound of a car horn behind me. To my surprise it was Gordon smiling as if he knew how peeved I was and he enjoyed it. I slammed my door closed and watched him with my hand on my hip as he parked. Once he stepped out of his car, I folded my arms. He was purposely taking his time, stretching before grabbing and throwing his gym bag over his shoulder. He traipsed over to me with that irritating little smirk of his, and I dropped my arms causing him to laugh.

"Calm down, baby." He tried to pull me into a hug, but I just nudged his arms away.

I was able to smell the faint scent of his cologne, and I had to admit that I was pleased with the smell. I almost told him so and asked what it was he was wearing, but then I remembered his inconsiderate actions.

"You said you'd be here by seven this morning."

He casually checked his watch. "Damn, it's already seven thirty-eight. My bad, baby."

"My bad? Is that your sad excuse for penitence, Gordon?" I questioned his sincerity, and he just laughed. "I have plenty to do today."

"So do I, but I still managed to bring my ass out here for you on last minute's notice."

I furrowed my brows at his ability to find fault elsewhere but with himself. He agreed beforehand to the time set in place, so he was at fault for holding up the additional errands we both had on our hands.

"I called you at nine o'clock last night. That was not last minute."

"In whose world? Plus I was at work trying to run my little company."

"Are we going to run or not?" I asked him with much impatience and shaking my head.

"Yes, we are going to run." He eyed me with a half-smile before opening my back door. "But you have to promise me something first, though."

I grabbed at his arm, wondering just why he was flinging his bag on my back seat. "I beg your pardon, what are you doing?" I tried to retrieve the item, but he pulled me away from my car and closed the door to lean on it.

"After this, we're going to my place to shower," he eyed me again and shrugged, "not this you go to your place and I go to mine and then we meet up again. Your plan sucks. I don't feel like wasting all of that gas."

"Gordon . . . " I scratched behind my ear, not liking the idea of showering at his place and definitely hating the idea of him being anywhere near the building I'd be naked in.

"No, hush that. I don't want to hear it. We shower at my place then we go eat."

"I didn't bring my clothes." I figured I'd won our little debate with that, but he just smiled.

"I figured you'd say that, that's why I packed mine. We'll just do it at your place then." I was about to protest more, but he winked, smirked, slapped my bottom, then ran off laughing.

I chased him for about a good fifteen minutes, sprinting, falling, and climbing over obstacles. I was making a fool of myself, yelling at him and running all over the place. The kooky thing about it, however, was I wasn't even mad at him. I wasn't about to let myself believe that I just wanted to chase him, but I couldn't explain why I was allowing myself to act in such a manner.

Before long the decision of acting this way was out of my hands because I was on the ground and about to pass out. Shamefully, that was the extent of what was supposed to be our morning run, and Gordon wouldn't let me hear the end of it as he carried me to my car.

I didn't know what in heaven's name I was thinking. I'd never invited a man out with me before. I'd never even attempted to plan a day out with anybody, not even my sisters. Dani was always the one coming up with the ideas. Suggesting to Gordon that we run this morning was a major snafu, and I deserved these repercussions.

I'd never had a morning run in my life. I had to make a quick trip to Target before heading home last night because I owned nothing you'd need for a morning run. I should have never taken dating tips from old movies. What's even more ridiculous is for the entire ten minute drive to my house I was still trying to get myself together. Resting my head on the steering wheel at the one red light that caught me did nothing for the tightness going on in my head, and I was seriously starting to think I had some type of medical issue that was causing my body to react this way. Thankfully after sitting for about another five minutes in my driveway I was able to collect myself.

I made it to my front door on wobbly legs with Gordon right behind me. I, of course, blocked the door. I had no idea where Deklyne or Terri was, and I was not comfortable with having Gordon showering in the house if they returned at that moment. Undaunted by me, he did a fine job convincing me that all he wanted to do was change his clothes, but we were fighting once again the minute I closed the door because he ran into my bathroom and cut on the shower. He was such a liar, and I regretted the fact that I didn't make him change in his car like I'd initially told him he'd have to do.

Despite it all, I took my shower after him, and not long after that he was following my directions as he drove us to Vineland Café. Once there we sat at a window booth, and I thought we'd have a nice brunch until he continued to open his mouth and spit out annoying comments.

"That really was a pitiful display, Nei," he said with amused eyes.

I glared at him before finishing the bite of salad in my mouth. "First of all, who is Nei? Second," I paused to take a sip of my water and to try to think up an excuse for my lack of fitness. "Just shut up and eat," I finally said, embarrassed that I'd made a fool of myself in front of him.

He just laughed at me, as I figured he would, and I frowned at him as he bit into his colossal burger. "What?" he asked, still laughing.

"Why are you eating that after you just exercised?"

"Because we didn't exercise. You took two steps and collapsed."

I eyed him for a beat before stuffing a piece of lettuce in my mouth. "Your company is treading ever so closely to a nuisance. I'd prefer you cease this."

He laughed so hard at me that he coughed up a bit of his food. I didn't see what was so funny about me not being able to run for a long period of time seeing as I wasn't the only person in the world who couldn't. And he really had no room to laugh at anyone with his lack of table manners.

"That is very unattractive, Gordon," I told him such after several moments of him not being able to pull himself together.

"Girl, please. Everything I do is attractive," he said with too much confidence, and I rolled my eyes before sipping more of my water. His arrogance gave me such a headache. "You know it's the truth, Nei."

"Gordon, please understand this. I am not some part of anatomy. My name is Nei-La," I carefully sounded out for him.

He licked his lips and then smirked at me. "Fine, Nei- _La_."

For a while longer he kept up with his immature goofiness, and I was just about to walk out on him. However, it peaked my curiosity after noticing his face change once he checked his missed call. I was growing to learn he'd rather joke than be serious, so his sudden emotional switch was a tad interesting.

"What is it?" I asked, trying not to appear too nosy.

He lightly shook his head, then placed his phone on the table. His phone held his attention for a short time, and I knew whatever was on his mind was something that had been bothering him for a while. The urge to know what he was so concerned about was growing in me, but I knew it would have been inappropriate for me to ask again about his business.

Finally he snapped his head up to look me square in the eye, and I saw his mouth trying to get words out, but nothing happened. I wasn't at all about to pry anything out of him, so I just took another sip of my water and leaned back to take in my surroundings. That's when I noticed there was nothing but couples in this restaurant. They were all touching in some way, and the sight was suddenly making me uncomfortable.

"You really want to know?" he asked out of the blue and startled me a little.

I still held my glass to my lips, and I just moved my eyes to him. For a brief period of time, I didn't move or speak then I finally placed my glass down and cleared my throat.

"If you want to share, I'm all ears."

He hesitated again and bit his lip while looking at the table for just a second. "It's your sisters," he said with an expression as if he wanted me to understand and then come up with some type of solution for him.

I nodded and decided it would be best to keep my eyes off of him. I was not willing to show the agitation that was inching up my spine. "And what about them?" I asked in a choppy pitch before clearing my throat again.

"Ok, I know how this is going to come out, and I know that they're your sisters. I need you to listen to me though, and not just be a sister and think I'm just trying to run some type of game."

I felt my temperature elevate, and another feeling I couldn't finger. All I knew was that I did not want to hear him talking about his relationship—correction, _relationships_ with my sisters. "Just tell me, Gordon."

"You know what my intentions were with Dani, right?" he asked not very sure of himself.

I nodded regardless and gulped my water. I knew Dani was ahead of me by miles, and I was not ready to hear all she'd done and all I'd have to top just to be in the game again.

"Well long story short, she told me to stay away from her. Out of nowhere, she goes off and wants everything done with. Plenty of times in the last few days I've thought about trying to reach out to her, but I'm at the point where I'm pissed off and want to say forget it. If she wants to walk away, better now than later."

I gave him a questioning look that he simply stared blankly at in return. The only locution I could utter was a weak, "Really?"

Shock was the first thing to register in my mind after hearing the information of Dani calling things off with him, but then I remembered who my sister is. It would be remarkably foolish not to believe she had something up her sleeve. She was not the type to go down, period.

Getting a clue as to what was basically happening between the two of them did however manage to make me leery about continuing this façade with Gordon. Sure he'd just said he and Dani were no longer moving along, so was that supposed to be my motivation to go further with him? Was that a hint that this pursuit was getting too far out of hand?

"Well if that's what she wants," I finally found myself unsteadily speaking after he'd sat silently waiting for me to continue, "I suggest staying away from her." I focused on the table for a short moment before shaking my head and chuckling to myself. "She can get a bit crazy if things don't go her way."

"Trust me, I know." I smiled as he appeared to take a trip down memory lane. I'd told Dani about her temper many times, but imagining Gordon on the receiving end of her wrath was a comical thought to me for some unknown reason. "It's just now . . . now Deklyne is . . . "

I licked my lips and fidgeted in my seat, smile completely gone just like that. I told my sisters this would happen. If he couldn't have one but could have the other, he'd go for it. "Now you want to go after Deklyne?" I questioned, but I felt I already had the answer. "Is this something you normally do: one says no, so the other is up for the taking?"

"See, I asked you not to do that." I heard the tightness in his tone, but I dismissed it.

"I'm just putting everything together, Gordon," I said gruffly. I couldn't understand where my animus was suddenly coming from. Like I'd just said, I was the one who told my sisters this would happen, yet I was the one who decided to go ahead and join in on this asinine bet in spite of knowing this.

"No, you're assuming and making judgments."

"Well correct me."

"Dani was—is . . . Deklyne . . . It's like I'm getting to know—see a different part of her that doesn't . . . Listen, all I'm saying is both of your sisters—"

"Are people you wouldn't mind hopping into bed with," I finished his sentence for him.

"Neila, stop it. I'm not the guy who thinks with his libido. I don't want to go down that road with Deklyne when only days ago I wanted the same thing with her sister."

I nodded, not really knowing what to say. "Well what is it that you seem to be so conflicted about?" He shrugged, but I knew he knew what was bothering him. I had a feeling I knew what it was as well, and he just couldn't man up and admit it. "It seems pretty obvious what's happening here, Gordon." He just frowned and leaned forward as if he was eager to hear my take on the whole thing. "You wanted Dani, but it didn't work out, so now you want to move on to Deklyne."

"When did I say that?"

I rolled my eyes at his inability to fess up to the truth. "Do you or do you not suddenly have feelings for Deklyne?"

"Deklyne has made it clear that she's interested in me, but I haven't done anything to act on it."

"You want to be with Deklyne?"

"I hadn't even considered it until she kissed me."

"You just get around, don't you?" I knew I shouldn't be getting snippy with him, but hearing that he'd been kissing on both of my sisters wasn't putting me in the best of moods.

How could my sisters even think of doing anything with him when he did nothing but run around? I wouldn't put it passed him to sex each and every one of us, and he'd probably do it in the same night if he could get away with it.

"Understand this, I wasn't looking for anything to happen between me and Deklyne."

"But now that Dani is out of the way, you don't see a problem with it?"

"I do." He frown at me, and I could hear the frustration in his voice. "The crazy part is I don't know if I'm liking Deklyne more because I'm pissed at Dani or if it's because I . . . "

"So you still want Dani and you're considering using Deklyne as a fill in?"

He looked down at the table for a while. "No. I like Deklyne now."

"Yes, now that Dani has given you the boot." I said throwing my napkin in my plate.

I wanted to be mad at him, but I had to remember my sisters were the ones playing games. He was merely concerned with snatching his best, or should I say easiest, option. What in heaven's name would possess me to be a part of this?

"That's not it. It's just easier to like Deklyne better now because I understand her a little more. I just don't know if I'm willing to like her because of Dani or if I just finally found a reason to like her." The expression on his face was a bit of an ashamed one. "I don't feel for her what I feel for Dani, but I know that's a dead end."

"So why not go after the second sister, right?" I asked him with sarcasm.

"Neila, I know it's a fucked up situation. Quit with the bullshit." He shook his head and leaned back. "I bet it would piss you off to know you were the first Heart woman to catch my eye."

He just watched me after his confession, and I didn't know how to react. For some reason, butterflies rushed to my stomach, and I tried to drink more of my water to calm myself down, but my cup was already empty. I picked it up anyway, needing something to do.

"I mean," I had no words at the moment, so I just played with my glass. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you were the first one of your sisters that I wanted to get to know."

"Oh," was all I managed to get out.

"Don't think because I didn't get you, I went after Dani and whatever." He shrugged and readjusted himself in his seat. "I just figured out Luke was right about you and then Dani worked her magic." His sentence trailed off and so did his thoughts, but I was more concerned with what he'd just said about Luke.

"Excuse me, but what did Luke say about me that you agree with?"

He snapped his attention back to me and acted as if he had to recall what I was referring to. "Oh, it was nothing."

"No, it was clearly something. What did he say?"

He shrugged again and drank some of his Coke. "He just said you were too headstrong and independent."

"Since when did being able to do things for yourself become a reason to be talked down about?"

"I—He—We weren't talking down about you. It's just . . . Neila, you're hard. That's just how you are. A lot of men don't want a hard woman."

"So men don't want me, is that what you're saying?"

"No," he told me with annoyance. "Men want you, Neila. You don't want men."

"Now you're calling me a lesbian?" We just stared at each other for a moment, and it made me wonder if I was annoying him as much as he was annoying me.

"What the hell is wrong with you, woman?"

"Nothing," I said stiffly. "Can we go?" Suddenly, I didn't want to be around him at all. I stood up, and he jumped up with me, stopping me before I could walk away from the table.

"Neila, I just wanted some advice. I'm not trying to play your sisters or make you think men don't want you. All you have to do is look at a man and you'll have him in the palm of your hand." I tried to look away, but he use a finger to turn my face back to his. "You are a very beautiful woman who's honest and doesn't have a problem speaking her mind. That's something I admire about you. As far as your sisters, I just thought I could talk to you."

"Why?"

He shrugged once again, and I almost commented on it before he backed away a little. "Like I said, you're honest. No sugar coating. If you think I'm being an idiot, weak, or an asshole, you have no problem telling me."

I thought a moment on his words, then pulled a few bills out of my purse to lay on the table. "Well honestly, you clearly only have feelings for Dani." He tried to talk, but I snapped my fingers to quiet him. "You like Deklyne, so you now say. My advice, don't get with her just because she's there."

"That's not it."

"However, it's something like it, right?" I asked the question, but I knew the answer.

"I'm not chasing after Dani anymore."

"Gordon, seriously. Don't go for option B because option A said no. Would you have thought about Deklyne had things worked out with Dani?"

He took a moment to think, but said nothing else. Once we were at his car he still said nothing, only kissing my forehead and opening my door for me. Gordon was really something else. Not to mention the nerve of him and Luke to discuss me behind my back. I was already preparing a speech for Luke as Gordon drove me home.

I needed to give myself a speech while I was at it. This whole situation was completely ridiculous, but something about it just wouldn't let me throw in the towel. I knew if I put too much thought into this thing, I'd talk sense into myself and call everything off. Truthfully, I didn't want to do anything more than the outings we'd been doing, but my major issue was I didn't want to stop the outings—despite the reason I was supposed to be doing them.

Twenty-Eight : Dani

I tied my silk, lavender, mini robe as I watched him laying on my guest bed as if he lived here. He had his pants back on and laid with his back against the headboard, downing a Heineken and watching TV. I was already pissed off, and seeing him like this was about to make him my number one target.

"Mike, what are you doing?"

I knew he heard the agitation in my tone, but he only paused his drinking to look at me and smirk. "What, baby?"

"We did what I called you over here for. That means you need to leave. Now." I knocked his feet off the bed, hoping he'd lose balance and hit the floor.

He just chuckled and placed his bottle on the nightstand. "Dani, why rush? You always want me to leave right after." He undid my robe and began kissing my shoulder.

Feeling his lips on me just then made my blood boil, and sadly he didn't even understand how close to an ass whooping he was. "Number one, take your trash to the garbage. Do not leave that shit up there." This was why I only allowed men in my guest room and never my bedroom. "Two, you should be thanking me for deciding to give you seconds, sweetheart. Now get the hell out of my house."

He took a step back from me with a frown trying to work its way to his face, and my hand immediately went to my hip, daring him to say something stupid to me. "Listen Dani, we can have a lot more fun if you'd let me do more than buy you things and fu—"

"Mike sweetheart, understand this. When we're together, it's for one reason only. That's it. You do what you need to do to catch my attention and please me—like keeping yourself looking nice and buying me things," I said, mocking his small, but required, contribution to our arrangement. "You do that and I'll take care of all the rest. That's how it's always worked with me. I don't see a need to change things up now. Do you?" He wouldn't say anything, so I stepped closer to him to put my bare chest on his. "You like the way I take care of things, don't you?"

He slowly nodded and licked his lips, and his eyes oozed his lacking will. Seeing that in a man use to give me such a power rush, it used to be a goal of mine. Now it gave me a sickening feeling.

"I love that shit," he said in a low tone.

I knew he wanted his tone to mean something to me, but part of me wanted to ignore it—another part of me told me it was life, and I just needed to accept it. This was who I was now, and it was too late to change.

"Good."

I looked him in his eyes for a few seconds, and the way they looked bothered me. He didn't have a glint. There was nothing special about them. Looking at them now I might as well have been looking at shit rotting on the side of the road.

"I'm not interested in anything else from you right now, sweetheart." He let out a heavy sigh and backed up, but I grabbed the front of his pants to keep him from going far. "You have an impressive sex game, Mike, and you use it better than most. That is the only relevant thing, sweetheart."

He pulled me closer to him and kissed me. It wasn't a great kiss. I actually hated kissing him now. When we first got down, everything about him was above standard. His kisses were perfectly seducing. His presence was inviting. The sex was mind blowing. Tonight however, nothing he did compared to what I really wanted, and it did nothing but piss me off that I was starting to compare him to Gordon. The dumb thing was Gordon and I hadn't even done shit, so he shouldn't have been on my mind at all.

"I'm not only better than most, Dani, and you know that. Tonight I had you on cloud nine."

The thought came to me to explain that Gordon was occupying my mind, and that's where a lot of my reactions came from. I just smirked instead, ready for him to be out of my house.

"Mike, that moment is gone. Get out." I pushed him away from me.

"Dani, you—"

"Seriously, if you want to continue this," there was a slight pause as I made a motion between him and myself, "you need to know when it's time to go."

"Kicking me out is really the way to keep me interested, Dani," he told me sarcastically.

"Either you want this or you don't. You know damn well I will never have to force you to be with me, but I damn sure don't have to let you."

He just watched me for a while before he grabbed his shirt. I knew he wanted to say something to me, but his phone rang before he could think of anything.

"Stop nagging me, bruh," he said to whomever was on the phone instead of a greeting. He tried to put his shirt on and handle the phone at the same time, rolling his eyes at whatever was being said to him. "Gordon, I stepped out. Stop bitching. I'm on my way back now. I'm a grown ass man. I will do whatever the hell I want." He straightened his shirt with one hand and had a frown etched deep in his features. "Business is important to me, Gordon! Stop thinking you know everything." He waited for Gordon to speak then sucked his teeth. "Yeah, whatever."

He just hung up after that and flopped on the bed to put his shoes back on. I couldn't help but nibble my lip as thoughts began to pop into my head. I tried to keep my mouth shut, but something else in me took temporary control.

"How's the club tonight?" He just looked over his shoulder at me with his frown still on his face and shook his head like that was a good enough answer. "The hell does that mean? How is the gotdamn club?"

He stood up, fully dressed and sighed. "It's good."

"I'm coming with you," I simply told him and walked to the door. "Have one of your employees ready to drive me home when I'm done."

He grabbed my waist to keep me from leaving. "Wait, baby. I can't take you with me."

"I'm not driving my damn self."

"Then you might have to stay home tonight."

"Who the fuck do you think you are, telling me I have to stay home?" I fussed at him, backing him up to the wall.

"Dani, calm down, sexy." He grabbed my waist again and smirked, trying to bring me closer to him, but I knocked his hands away. "You know I like to see you when you get feisty, but I need to get back before Gordon trips again."

"Fuck Gordon!" Hearing his name just then set me off. I could picture him clear as day in my head, and he was someone I didn't want to still be thinking about. Funny enough, he'd been controlling my thoughts and actions since the day I'd kicked him out.

"Any other time, I would be all for bringing you. It's just he knows I'm gone, if I pop up with you he's going to start with that same bullshit. That's a road I do not want to go down anymore."

"You think I care about what you want? I don't even want to be around your ass right now."

"Then why you want me to take you to Skye?" he fussed.

"Because—" I clamped my mouth shut, not wanting anything stupid to slip out of my mouth. I kept my silence for a while and bit the inside of my mouth. "Just get out," I finally said, and he shook his head before walking to the door.

I called his name to stop him once he was in the doorway. I didn't even know what I wanted to say to him just then. I just knew I needed to have control over the shit that was happening to me.

"From now on, understand this is just sex. That's all I want from you," I bit my lip, hating the feeling that was punching me in the gut, "and that's all you want from me."

For some reason the truth in that was starting to eat away at me. No matter how long I'd know the fact that sex was all I really was, it never bothered me until now. I said nothing else as he walked out of my house, but the anger that was building inside of me because of Gordon was becoming too much.

Why was I tripping? I hadn't even touched that nigga. He had my mind so messed up, and there was no reason behind it. What could I possibly see in him that had me thinking about him instead of what was truly important? How was it possible he could make me care about things that was never important?

I snatched my cell off its charger and dialed his number. I needed to tell him about his damn self. I had every intention of pushing the call button and cursing him out for as long as my battery would allow, but I stopped myself right before I pressed the button. I stared at my phone and raised it to my face once, feeling like I was about to explode.

Finally, I threw my phone down, yelling, "Shit!" I paced for a few steps before ripping the hair tie out of my head. I was now on a mission. I charged out of my house and up to Mike's car just as he was backing out. As soon as I opened his door, he slammed on the breaks.

"Dani, girl? What the hell?"

I didn't even say anything to him. I just put his car in park and cut the engine. He tried to ask more questions, but I straddled him to kiss him and unfasten his pants. It wasn't long before his confusion was over, and he was helping me out of my robe.

My mind couldn't help but go back to the time Gordon wanted me in my driveway. As bad as I knew he wanted me, I could probably say I wanted him more that night.

I pushed Mike's head away from mine. I wanted to see him and make sure I saw nothing in him. I needed to see nothing.

"Dani—"

"Shut the fuck up and put your dick in."

The second I felt him in me, my mind stop racing. All I could focus on was the pleasure I was starting to feel all over my body. I closed my eyes, moaning out his name. He canceled everything else in my thoughts, and that's exactly what I needed him to do.

Sex was the only thing I knew could help me. It was the only thing that ever did, and I didn't need things changing now. I didn't need to care about what was happening. The price paid to care for anything was always too expensive.

Twenty-Nine : Terri

I hesitated on the phone before answering his question. I didn't know how to say no, and I really didn't know how to come up with a lie quick enough to save me.

"Terri?" he called my name, but I didn't recognized any of the anger I usually heard when I tried to decline invitations. "Terri baby, are you still there?" I opened my mouth a little to speak, but my lips just trembled. "Terri?"

"Yeah, I'm still here," I timidly told him.

"You around somebody you don't want to talk in front of?"

"No," I honestly told him. What I didn't say was that I was talking to the person I didn't want to be in front of.

"Well what's up? Why don't you want me to come pick you up today?"

"I'm not umm—I'm not ready."

"I thought your last class was—"

"It is." I cut him off too quickly, and I knew he heard the panic in my voice. He didn't comment on it, though. "I have to do something else, and that umm . . . That's probably going to run late, and then Neila can come pick me up."

"Terri?"

"It's important, Gordon. I can't miss it."

"And just what the hell is it?" I heard annoyance in his tone now, and I really didn't want to have an argument. The first time he raised his voice I knew I was going to back down.

I really tried to come up with something, but my mind just couldn't work under this pressure. I knew he would know I was lying, and that's when the worst comes out of them all. "I just have . . . um . . . I'm trying to . . . I only have—"

"Terri, I know you're lying. You can't even think of a cover."
My heart sank the second he said that. "I—I—I"

"Baby, just promise me this, alright?"

I gave another pause before responding to him. "What?"

"Don't let him talk you into doing something stupid. Young dudes don't care, and they will use you just to get what they want and think nothing of it while doing it or afterward. You have to be smarter than that, baby."

I wanted to scream at him. I couldn't believe his nerve. Deklyne had him wrapped around her finger, pulling his naïve mind into her trap.

"Can you promise that?" I didn't reply at first. He had it all wrong as to why I didn't want to be around him. "If you can't, Terri, I'm coming to get you. Point blank."

He wasn't my father nor my protector, and to top it off he'd proved he was just as "weak" as I was when it came to the right female who knew how to game him. All of his antics were starting to bother me and push me further away from him.

"I promise," I eventually gritted out.

He let out a heavy sigh before speaking. "Call Neila and tell her. I told her I was going to be picking you up. I don't want her worrying."

"Fine."

There was a lengthy amount of silence before he said anything else. "I'm not trying to piss you off, baby."

"I'm not—"

"Don't lie," he sternly told me. "I hear that shit all over your vocal cords." He sighed again, and I didn't say anything because I knew he was about to continue. "I slip into _'_ _daddy_ _'_ mode sometimes, and I'm sorry. I just want to look out for you, that's all."

"Thanks."

I heard him laugh, but I didn't see what was funny. "Okay, you don't believe me."

"I didn't say that."

"Your voice gives you away. But listen, how about I just back off and you call me if you ever need me? Can I be there for you like that?"

I didn't say anything at first, but I finally agreed and was able to get off the phone. Gordon had me so confused. How could he be caring and stupid all at the same time? I wish he could see what Deklyne was doing to him. I wish he could just find it in himself to tell her to leave us alone. I knew no amount of wishing would work, though. Deklyne is a demon, and it's going to take more than wishful thinking to get her out of my life.

"Terri?"

The second I heard my name hands were around my waist, causing me to jump away from whoever it was so fast that I ran into the wall. Before I could turn to see who it was, he was turning me to face him.

"Terri, calm down. It's just me. I didn't mean to scare you like that."

I just watched Brentin for a few seconds, before relaxing my body. "Hi," I meekly greeted him.

He finally loosened his grip then started helping me straighten my clothes. "Hi." I tried to back up a little, but he placed his hand on my waist again to stop me. "How has everything been?"

"It's been okay," I told him without looking at him.

For a long while he didn't say anything, and I wanted my legs to move me away from him. I knew better than to try and move, though. Clearly he wasn't about to let me leave. He still hadn't taken his hand away from me.

"You don't have a ride today? I haven't been seeing you here this late for a few days."

"I don't need one."

"Oh." It was quiet again, and I scratched the back of my head. "Are you hungry?"

"I eat when I get home."

"You don't seem like you're hurrying home any time soon. That might be some time away." I just shrugged, and he finally moved his arm and moved it up to his face. I didn't see what he did though because I wasn't looking at him. "I mean, we could go get something to eat, if you want to," he quickly added. "Then when you get home, no matter how late, you won't have to worry about finding something to eat. Trust me, I know how hard it can be to find something to eat with a house full of siblings."

I didn't know what he was talking about. Neila was always making sure I was fed. I just nodded anyway. "I don't have any money, so I can't—"

"Terri, I would never ask you to pay."

"No. I don't—Brentin, I don't want to owe you anythin—"

"Terri, I'm not like that. When have I ever made you think that? I just want to take you to get something to eat."

"But you have to go—"

"There's nothing that I have to do, but I want to take you out to eat. Please, can I do that?"

I finally gave into him after having another difficult time trying to come up with a lie that would get me out of this new situation. Within minutes, he was pulling into Fresh Mouth, a restaurant not even five minutes away from the community college campus.

Once we were inside, he wanted to sit by the window because he liked being able to watch people as they passed by. He said he liked observing people because you could learn a lot from someone by watching their actions rather than just listening to their words. It was hard to get the conversation going, thanks to myself. Brentin didn't seem upset by it, though. He just took his time asking his questions.

"That's just the way I am," I found myself telling him after he'd asked why I was so quiet. I didn't really have an answer for that.

"Come on? There has to be a reason." He actually smiled at me. I think it was the second time I'd seen him do that. I wanted to smile back, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

"I guess it's because I'm not use to having a lot of attention on me."

"Oh. I see." He ate a few of his fries, and I could see his mind working. "Is there ever times when you're not so quiet?"

I had to think about that question for a moment. The only times I could remember talking was to Dani. She was the only person I felt comfortable enough with to talk to. After thinking a few minutes longer, I answered. "The only person I really talk to is my sister Dani. And that guy you met," I tried to jog his memory of Gordon, "I use to think . . . He was somebody I thought was . . . I use to want him around because I thought I would be able . . ."

"You don't talk to him anymore?"

"I do, but I don't want to as much as use to."

"He was important to you?"

I frowned at his words. They bothered me because I felt like the answer was 'yes', but it felt weird to say that. "I don't even really know him."

"But did you feel comfortable with him?"

"I did," I answered truthfully after a moment's thought.

"What about me?" He paused to scratch his goatee. "How do I make you feel?"

I took a long sip of my drink and tried to think of something to say. "Can we go now?" was all I could think of.

A grimace flickered on his face, but he didn't show much else emotion as he waited a second to speak. "I want you to answer me first."

I pursed my lips, not wanting to give an answer that would upset him. Did he think I was supposed to feel comfortable around him? "How am I supposed to answer that?"

"I guess you just did." He tilted his head to scratch his chin then he stood up to clean off our table. Once he was done, he held his hand out to me. "I'll take you home now."

The drive to my house didn't even register to me. I'd zoned out so much that Brentin had to call my name and shake me to get my attention. "You're home now."

"Oh. Thank you."

"No problem."

I felt his eyes on me, and I wanted to be out of his car because of it. I knew rushing out would tick him off, so I was careful. That did give him time to come up with something else to say, though.

"Terri, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable around me. If I ever do something that makes you uncomfortable, tell me. I won't do anymore. Promise."

"Ok." I nodded, but I wouldn't look at him.

"Can we hang out again after class?" I wouldn't answer him, and he cleared his throat. "I mean, only if you're up for it. You could wait for me after class, and then we could go eat again. Is that okay?"

I thought about it, and I couldn't think of a reason to say no. I actually had a nice time. I just knew the nice times were soon about to turn into hell, and that's what scared me. "We can go out," I finally told him.

"Good. And um . . . Well since we both start our classes around the same time, I thought I could come pick you up in the mornings."

"You don't have to do all of these things for me."

"I know I don't have to, I want to." I looked at him finally. I wanted to see his eyes. He looked as if I was making him nervous, but he smiled at me anyway. "And I don't want anything in return. I don't want you thinking that. I just want some of your time." He shrugged and smirked. "I know that sounds corny, huh?"

I didn't say anything else to him; I just nodded. He returned the gesture, and then I gathered my things and left him in his car.

I didn't know what to think at the moment. He said he just wanted my time, but I knew he was lying. I felt so stupid. Gordon told me they would say anything to use me, and I knew for a fact they would. The first guy to ever tell me he loved me only said it for sex and multiple money loans, the second was just a guy who never varied from the script he was using on three girls, and every male in between and after all had some type of ulterior motive. Why would Brentin be any different? The dumbest part was I was still letting myself fall into this same trap. Sometimes I thought maybe I loved the misery that seemed to follow me in and out of my days.

Thirty : Neila

I stomped into his office for the fourth time today, and just like all the other times, I stomped back out without being able to utter a word. I had so much I wanted to say to that ninny, but I knew this wasn't the place to have out anything with him. For that reason, I once again flopped behind my desk, roughly straightening papers as if I knew what I had in my hands. Really, the only thing on my mind was everything that Luke had the nerve to say about me to Gordon.

Before I could even set the papers neatly aside, I was thinking of trying to confront Luke one more time. I was saved from a fifth trip, however, when he walked into my office.

"Neila, you want to tell me what's going on with—"

"I will tell you what's going on." I cut him off and jumped up to close my door and doing it a little too hard. "That is exactly what I'll do. Better yet, why don't you tell me what is this contumely chit chat you've been having with Gordon?"

"Me?" He held his hand to his chest, and his eyes bulged in disbelief. "You're the one spending all of your time with him. You want to explain your behavior?" he quizzed as if I had been the one in the wrong.

"I have good reason to spend time with him." Feeling a little flustered, there was nothing else I could think of to say in my defense. I surely didn't want him knowing my reasons for spending time with Gordon.

"What reason?" he asked defiantly and shame was nipping at me. "You've never been the type to share company with anybody other than your sisters, and now you want me to believe this Gordon guy has changed that?"

I hated the way he felt he could read me. It was obvious in the way he was talking to me that he felt he knew what he was speaking on. I cautioned myself not to react so hastily, however. I wanted to hear out of his mouth what he'd said to Gordon.

"What I do with my time is my business. Now I would greatly appreciate it if you would relay to me what you told Gordon."

He just looked at me for a few moments before taking a breath. I knew he was trying to read me even further, and he was just about to make my 'ghetto side' come out. "Why is what I said important?" he finally asked with temerity.

"Because it just is." I held a slight frown on my face, willing myself not to explode.

"What if told you what I said to him is my business?" he asked after a thoughtful moment.

I knew he was mocking what I'd previously said to him seconds ago, and he was doing nothing but causing my head to ache. "When you're talking about me, it's not just your business. I have a right to know every downgrading thing you say about me, Luke!" I finally let loose.

"Neila, you really need to calm down."

"Are you out of your mind? You blab all of this trash about me to Gordon, and you have the nerve to tell me to calm down?"

"I've never said a bad thing about you, Neila. That man is a damn lie to tell you otherwise."

"Luke, please. Okay? What you said surely wasn't a compliment."

"What did he tell you I said about you?"

I folded my arms across my chest, and took a moment to collect myself. I didn't understand why I was feeling so different about this situation. When the Neanderthals around this office talk about me, I could care less. With these two, however, something was eating away at me, and I hated it.

"He tells . . ." I paused again, trying to rebuild my dwindling anger which was quickly being replaced with embarrassment. "He tells me you've been saying I'm too independent." He just watched me as if waiting for me to continue. "Too independent and headstrong."

It was quiet a while longer before he gave an uncaring shrug. I gave him a side-eye, knowing I was more than likely not about to get the contriteness I felt I deserved. "You _are_ too independent," he confirmed and nodded a bit as he checked out my office. "And headstrong."

"And that surmises men don't want me?" I couldn't believe the way I was sounding. There was a point in time when none of this would have mattered to me, but to have these idiots conversing about me in that manner . . . enraged me on a deeper level. It did more than enrage me, and I felt helpless to do a thing about it.

"Wait a minute. I never told him men didn't want you." He took a step closer to me, and my eye twitched because it felt like with each movement towards me his presence literally hit me.

"He told me that you think I'm hard, and men don't want hard women. What does that even mean? You two believe men don't want me because—You two! . . . You are the two who think I can't get men to want me."

"Neila, I can guarantee you that's not the way I think."

"He told me plain as day that's what you think, Luke."

"Maybe because that's what he wants you to think I think." I frowned at his confusing logic. He brushed his hair down and stuck a hand in his pocket. "Have you ever put thought to why he would be telling you things like that, making you think I believe things that I don't?"

"Because you're saying them, that's why," I fussed at him.

"No, that's not the reason. He wants you to think I don't want you. That way he can get me out of the way."

"Out of the way of what, Luke?"

He shrugged again and gave an unsure frown. "Maybe . . . Maybe he thinks there's something between us that he needs to come between. Who knows what's going on in his head?"

"You and I would never happen, so that's just ridiculous."

"Ridiculous?" He laughed and turned from me, scratching the top of his head. "The thought of us being together is ridiculous to you?"

"Absolutely. Isn't it ridiculous to you?" I asked, believing there was absolutely no need to think about the answer.

"Why would it be?" There was a smile on his lips, but there was no joy in his eyes.

"One, we're colleagues."

"Yes, but—"

"And two, you're married or engaged . . . or married and you just don't wear your ring."

He looked down at his hand and ringed it a bit. "We're engaged," he said lowly, and I didn't understand his change in emotion.

"Luke, all I'm saying is it was very disrespectful what you did. I would never go to someone and talk to them about the many reasons a woman wouldn't want you."

"Many reasons?" he asked, sounding a bit offended. "What reasons are you referring to?"

"Luke, I don't have any reasons," I fussed. "You are not someone I'd bother giving thought to figuring out your many reasons."

"I'm not even worth the bother." He nodded and looked around again before chuckling.

"I only meant—I'm merely using you as an example, Luke. For goodness' sake, I have no idea if you have reasons, many or otherwise. You are the one with the list of why I'm not wanted."

"Can we get something straight? I've never said and never will I say or believe men don't want you. Honestly, I did tell him you're not the softest flower in the garden, and most men would shy away from you. What I didn't tell him was that I didn't want you. Okay?"

I finally just let out a heavy sigh. "Fine, Luke."

I wasn't truly ready to relent because he was still basically saying men didn't want me; he was just saying it in a way he felt was acceptable. Howbeit, going to war with him because of the foolishness that was still leaving his mouth I knew wasn't a productive way to spend my time and energy.

Gordon was the same way; he'd say things and have no clue how idiotic he'd make himself look, which would lead to arguments. Arguments with Gordon have taught me one thing: most arguments are things I would rather now avoid. I was just going to leave this issue with Luke alone, and oddly enough he had Gordon to thank for it, despite Gordon in a way causing this argument by spilling the beans.

"Well, then, since that's cleared up, why don't we try to have a peaceful day at work? You stay in your office, and I'll stay in mine."

"Luke, wait?"

I knew I should have just let him walk out of the door, but it was like he and Gordon were on the same page. I mean they were both males, they both spoke the male language and used the same male method of arguing, and if they both saw in me the same things that turned them off, perhaps Luke could give me some pointers on how to turn Gordon on.

Jesus did that should strange.

"I need your advice before you leave."

"What is it?" He sighed, and that only made it harder for me to get my words out.

I felt a bit embarrassed that I was about to try and get his input on something so personal, but I needed something if I was going to best my sisters. "It's kind of personal." His frown never left, and I could tell he was growing more impatient by the second. "Listen, just let me get this out please?" He nodded, and I took a deep breath. "So what would I have to do to get a man to want me?"

He just stared at me for a while before relaxing his posture and letting out a breath. "Nothing, Neila. You don't have to do anything."

"You're being very difficult Mr. Washington."

"What do you want me to say? You're a remarkable woman. You just don't want people to know that about you," he paused and gave a half smile, "or you don't care if certain others know that about you."

"Okay, and where in that statement is the advice I requested?" I asked him, actually interested in what he had to say. He talked in riddles a lot, and I was growing use to it. Now was not the time to test me on it, however.

He just chuckled. "To the people who really matter, they can already see what a great woman you are. Those are the only people you need to be concerned with."

"Could you spare me the feel good about yourself speech?"

"Wow. Really, Neila?" I just frowned at him, and he shook his head. "For such an intelligent woman, you really aren't too sharp."

"Excuse me?"

He laughed at me this time, then he rubbed my arms and look down at me with that weird smile of his. "Can I propose something to you?" I didn't say anything, and he kept his hands on me. "Can we go back to the way things were? I actually miss your ways."

"How can you miss me when you see me every day at work?"

"You are so damn clueless, Neila." He had the nerve to say that to me with a smile on his face.

"You want to knock it off with all the imbecile jokes?"

"I don't think you're an imbecile."

I sighed heavily realizing I wasn't going to get anything useful from him. I wanted to knock his hands off, but I didn't know what type of reaction that would cause him to have. Gordon would purposely hug me too tight, kiss my cheek, or slap my behind. I did not have the patience for that at the moment.

"So what do you say?"

"About what?"

"Neila?"

"Going back? Fine. Wonderful. What are you trying to do, angle me for the perfect hug?" I'd finally had enough of him holding me. "If so, please get it over with." He chuckled again and hugged me tighter and longer than I really wanted him to. "Yes. This is . . . This is just, uhh . . . amazing." He finally let me go and brushed a finger down my face.

"You don't have to do anything extra for him. If he doesn't see what a great person you are, too headstrong and independent and all, he's not worth it. Okay?"

I just nodded at his lack of help before watching him walk out the door. I didn't need to hear the _'_ _If he doesn't accept you for you_ _'_ speech. I wasn't trying to get this man into a relationship with me. I just needed to know how to get him in my bed, but that's not a question you can just out right ask, now is it.

God, I was being such a slut. Why couldn't this bet end at just spending a certain amount of time with Gordon? Spending time with him was becoming easier and easier, but I doubt I'll ever sleep with this man.

Thirty-One : Dani

I walked up to the line, ignoring its length and right to the over-sized bouncer. The day had already been hell for me. The boy wouldn't shut up. The girl wanted me to stop by, and everything else I just couldn't focus on for shit. Now to top that off, I'd become even more pissed with having to drive myself through this busy street then walk pass the crowds of low wage trash.

I waited for half a minute as the bouncer handled two thirsty, underage females trying to get into the club. The sight was so sad, and I wondered to myself just how desperate were these two to get some tonight. I knew that was the only reason they'd be out here dressed the way they were. I'm all for a good time, but never will I act thirsty for it.

"Excuse me?" I finally said once the shortest one started to get loud with the bouncer. "I need to get in. Can you please do something with these babies?"

All eyes turned to me, and I read the disgust in the kids' faces, but I didn't give a damn. The two just gave each other a look, then looked to the bouncer like they were waiting for him to get rid of me.

"Baby, we do have a line." The bouncer tried to be cool, rolling his eyes over my body.

I hadn't even done much with myself, wearing only skinny jeans, heels, and a close fitting tank. Still, his lingering eye sparked envious stares from the girls. They knew he was about to do whatever I commanded him to do.

"But if you want to get hooked up with the VIP, you can just step right over here. Marco can give you a wrist band, and all—"

"What?" The short one opened her mouth again, and I was just about to knock her out. Her mother probably never taught her not to speak when adults were talking, but I didn't have a problem with teaching her that lesson. "How the hell you letting her get VIP and you won't even let us get in?"

"Bad bitches can get VIP. School bitches need to go home and study." He tapped his temple with his index and middle fingers before giving his attention back to me. "Now, as for you. I'm going to get Marco to hook you up with a discount and private section. Alright, baby?"

Most of what he said to me didn't register because I almost went off on him for referring to me as a bitch. Luckily for his dumb ass, I had better shit to attend to. "I'm not paying for VIP, sweetheart. I'm just going in the club. Is that understood? Work out whatever arrangements you need to. I really don't care."

He smiled at me, and I knew just were his mind was going. "Baby, it's only one other way I'm letting you in here." He checked his watch and then scanned my body again with a grin on his face. "Break's in fifteen."

"You would do that just get in a club, ratchet bitch," the short shit had the nerve to say to me.

In seconds I had her arm twisting it in a way God never intended. "Don't get your ass beat before you can find a nigga to ho yourself out to tonight, sweetheart."

"Bitch, get off me!" She tried to swing on me, but she was dazed and on the floor before she could do anything. I controlled myself from hitting her again, but I watched and waited for her or her friend to jump stupid.

"Yo, ladies!" The fat ass moved me away from the short shit, and I knocked his hand down after he kept it on my body too long. "Hey, calm down girl."

"Move, and let me in the club," I spoke firmly to him, staring him down.

"Can't do that, baby," was all he said with a shake of his head.

"Yes you can, and you will."

"If you're letting her in, you better let us in. We were up here first. We waited in this damn line," the short shit complained form the floor.

"I really hope you don't think I'm letting any of you in here. Both of y'all out here getting violent, that's number one. And you ain't even old enough, so just stop that." The fat ass was laughing the whole time, and he almost caught one of my punches for that.

"Why you ain't swing on her?" the short shit asked her friend who was finally trying to help her up.

I just laughed as another bouncer began ushering them away from the door. For that small second, everything that was going on in my head was fading away. I needed to watch those reckless bums get tossed away. I don't even know how long I was watching them fuss with their newest target, but if it wasn't for the fat ass speaking, I probably would have never looked away.

"I'm sorry, baby. I still can't let you in." I turned to see him checking a few more IDs before looking at me and shrugging. "Yo, Marco! Tell Jon we're at capacity."

I walked up to the fat ass and gently touched his cheek to make him look at me. It took everything in me not to try and rip his head off. "Listen sweetheart, I'm going into this club tonight. I have business in there."

His smile grew before he licked his lips, and it turned my stomach to think he actually thought I was flirting with him. "I understand you. I really do, but you just busted a girl's ass, a minor at that. I can't let you in here, baby. I'm sorry, though. I wish I could."

He was pissing me off to the max, and I knew the only way he'd understand what I was saying was to knock it into his head. By chance, just before he was on the floor, Jon came to the entrance.

"We're at capacity?" he asked with a smile and clapping hands with the fat ass. "That's what I'm talking about. First time since we opened. We getting it in."

"Excuse me?" I fussed, bringing their attention to me. "I'm still standing out here when I need to be in there."

"Oh, my fault." Jon walked towards me and looked to the fat ass for reassurance, just shrugged and smiled. "Dani, right?"

I scoffed and gave a fake smile. "Jon, right?" I shot sarcasm at him and pushed him to the side.

I heard him behind me, yelling things about too many people being in the building, but I just kept walking. I was on a mission, and I be damn if I let him stop me after all I had to deal with just to get to this point. I walked over to the bar and scanned the area, but before I could move to my next destination, Jon blocked me between two stools and the bar.

"Dani, you can't just barge in here. I know you and Gordon got somethi—"

"Where is he?" I asked Jon as calmly as I could. My anger was going from six to nine, and I needed to find my intended target.

"Gordon?"

"Who else would I come here to see?" I fussed at him. "Where is he?"

"Look, I don't know what happened, but clearly you're pissed about it. If you need to talk to him, you need to have him meet you somewhere. We can't have him being the subject of a scene at his own club."

"Do you think I care about anything you're saying? If you're not telling me where Gordon is, you need to get the fuck out of my face."

"I'm not about—"

He continued to talk, but I stopped listening the second I spotted Gordon walking some distance away with a girl on his arm and a stupid smile on his face. I felt my heart skip a beat and my blood rose in temperature. Once again Jon was shoved to the side as I made my way up to the bastard.

I pulled the girl's arm away from Gordon and stepped closer to him. "I need to talk to you." My voice was hard, and I knew he saw the coldness in my eyes.

I saw his eye twitch, but his smile never left as he kept his eyes on the bitch rather than me. "Kelly baby, I'm sorry about those dudes. Just go 'head over there, and tell Rico I got you. I'll be over there in a few."

"You promise?" She gave him a flirtatious smile and tried to rub his arm, but I knocked her away.

"Yes, he's sure. He said he'd be over there in a minute. Right now, he's talking to me. Now go." She just eyed me, but Gordon had my waist before I could pounce on the bitch.

"Danielle, stop it," he whispered to me and brought my back to his body. "Kelly, I'll be over there shortly. Promise." She eyed me one last time before giving Gordon a smile and clumsily walking her ass away in her sad ass heels. Gordon waited until the bitch was out of sight before he released me. "What are you doing here?"

His question caught me off guard for some reason, and I didn't want to answer it. The whole drive over here, fighting with the bouncer, and arguing with Jon; that whole time I knew I was on a mission. I had it all in my head what I was here to do and how I was going to do it. Now that I'm here and he's asking me point blank, I couldn't find the strength to do shit.

I licked my lips and looked around us before tucking my thumbs in my back pockets. "I just wanted to check out the club scene tonight."

"You really want to add liar to your resume, Danielle?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Why are you here?" he asked me like he thought I was some Special Ed student. "Don't give me your bullshit."

"Fuck you, Gordon! What about your bullshit?"

He looked past me and waved his fingers at his throat, and I turned to see he was signaling to Jon not to come over. "Stop getting loud," he told me in a tone as if he was in authority over me. "I'm not giving you any bullshit. You wanted me to stay away from you, and that's what I'm doing. There is no bullshit involved in that. You, on the other hand, decided to bring your ass to my club, hunt me down, get extra with a female because you don't want to see her touch me, then lie about being here to check the club out."

"Get over yourself, sweetheart. I did not get extra with that bitch, and I certainly didn't react to seeing her touch you."

He didn't say anything; he just clench his teeth. His eyes told me he wanted something from me, and I knew it was the truth, but I was having a hard time giving it. I took a breath and tried like hell to keep up my game face.

"I will admit that I did come here because I needed to talk to you."

"About what?" he fussed, and I bit my tongue to keep from saying what first came to my mind.

I brushed my bangs to the side and let out a breath. "Look, you've been doing weird shit that I'm not use to and shit I don't want to get used to. So you just need to tell me what your problem is."

He nodded as he looked around at the people enjoying his hard work, then he scratched his chin. He was quiet for a while longer before he finally gave me his full attention again. "You need to figure out what you want, Dani. That's my problem. I do not play these types of games."

"I'm not playing any games!"

He grabbed my waist and brought me further into a corner where people couldn't really see us. "Explain to me why you're here then. The only thing I can come up with is you're failing at running from what you don't want to admit."

"You sound like an idiot."

"And it's making you do and say stupid shit."

"Gordon, you need—"

"Danielle, I'm serious, baby. As much as I care about you, I can't bring myself to play your games."

"If you say that dumb shit to me one more time," I warned him.

"What, that I don't play games? I don't play games. That's my bottom line." he said mockingly as his anger seemed to intensify with each syllable, but I was not about to let it pass my own.

"I'm not talking about that! I'm talking about that other garbage."

He frowned, and his neck twitched a little. "That I care about you?" I wouldn't say anything because there was nothing that I could say. "What do you want me to say?" He waited for me to answer him, but I hesitated.

"I—"

"You don't want me to say I care about you but you want me to just sleep with you?"

"You can't twist this—"

"What am I twisting?"

"From the beginning I told you. I told you, and you said you understood my rules—"

Before I knew what was happening, he pinned me between his body and the wall. He wrapped his left arm around my waist and lifted and massaged my thigh with his right hand. His eyes looked so magnetic, and they damn near melted my pants off right then and there. Just standing there letting his eyes pierce my own was such a turn on, and I hated that I loved it.

"I am going to have you, Dani," he finally whispered in my ear.

I closed my eyes and bit my lip at his seductive tone and his warm breath on my skin. My right arm was tucked under his left one as I held his back and tried to pull him closer to me, but I pitifully tried to push his chest back with my other hand. I felt like my mind, body, and a far less logical piece of my anatomy were all at war with each other.

"And I'm going to taste every part of you." he told me, spiraling my head even further as he grabbed a fist full of my ass. I couldn't even muffle my moan. "Fill every part of you."

A smile teased his lips as he continued the list of all the things I needed him to do to me. He knew what he was doing to me, too. I could see him enjoying himself on some level, despite the angry fire he still had in his eyes.

"I'll do every freaky thing you want me to do to your body, and it'll be so good this will be the only thing you want for the rest of your life." He grabbed my hand and put it exactly where he knew I wanted it. I didn't even ask permission and just squeezed it. "I already know how important it is to you." I felt his lips brush my neck, but he wouldn't kiss me. "But I'm not doing any of that until you figure out what you want, Danielle."

He stopped all movement after that, and it took a few seconds for our surroundings to come back into focus. I pushed him away from me, and he just watched me like nothing had even happened.

"You don't play games, right?" I mocked him.

"If you want to pretend I'm not worth more than sex to you then I don't want to mess with you. Period. I don't like being used for sex, money, or bullshit favors. If you're in my life, you better have a real purpose."

"You know what you need to remember?" I walked closer to him so he could clearly see the anger burning in my eyes. "Your feelings and emotions are the ones already tied up in this nonsense we have going on. I can always find a good lover, Gordon, but there's only one Dani. Do you really think you can let me walk away from you?" I smiled at him because I saw his guard coming down. "I mean you did just admit to caring for me. Stop thinking with your heart and think with your dick before it's too late."

I pushed him aside and the second my back was to him, my smile was gone. This was not at all how I pictured things turning out. He was supposed to be somewhere crying or we were supposed to be in his office naked and sweating.

The moment that thought crossed my mind, I spotted Mike heading to that area. I wasted no time, and before he could open his own office door, I was pulling him into Gordon's.

"Dani, what the hell, girl?"

"Shut up," I ordered him and continued to rip his clothes off.

"Wait, girl. We can't do this here."

I forced his head to look at me and not at what I was just doing. "I want it in here," I told him coldly.

"In Gordon's office?" he asked as soon as I dropped his pants.

My heels were off already, so I peeled my pants and panties off and sat on Gordon's desk. "Yes, in Gordon's office. Now are you going to just keep talking?"

He didn't hesitate anymore, laying me back on the desk and removing my tank and popping my breast out so he could suck on them. I grabbed and played with him until I felt he was ready, but I couldn't help but feel like I was only wrecking my life even more.

Thirty-Two : Gordon

I jogged down my stairs on my way to hydrate myself. I'd been working out like a mad man all morning because I was still pissed at Dani. I'm sure it was obvious to any and everybody that Dani wasn't someone I should be giving a whole hell of a lot of attention to, but the woman was impossible to forget. She made it hard for me to wash my hands of her, and it made my blood boil that she thought she could play with that. I wanted to beat my own ass for admitting to her that I cared about her, but then she had the nerve to stand there and throw it back in my face. I just couldn't get over the fact that she would rather have me only want her for sex.

Bullshit! I knew she didn't want me to feel that way about her, and she was an idiot to walk around thinking that was okay. She was stupid enough to let herself suffer because she wouldn't deal with whatever demons she had from her past.

I knew she was damaged goods. I knew she needed more than a hug and someone telling her they were going to be there for her before she could get her head together, but the shit was taking too much out of me. And it didn't help that I could see the person she actually wanted to be. She let that person slip out too often for me to believe she was truly this façade of coldness and all about _the_ _bottom line_.

I shook my head at all her antics. I could still hear her spiting that nonsense out and all the other garbage she was saying. It's not even funny that I see how messed up her whole mindset is, but my stupid ass is just having a hard time accepting that some people don't want better for themselves.

Before I gave myself even more of a headache over that woman, I heard my cell ringing in the living room. I wasn't in the mood to speak to anyone at the moment, so I just wiped off the sweat that had built up on my chest and neck before tossing the rag in the hamper in my laundry room. On my way back upstairs, my phone went off again, and I sighed and finally answered it.

"What?" I huffed into the phone, not caring who was about to receive the brunt of my hostility.

"Excuse me, Gordon, that is not a very polite way to answer your phone."

"Neila—" before I could say anything, Miss Mouth Almighty beat me to it.

"If you're not up for speaking to someone, you could simply not answer your phone." I didn't say anything for a few seconds because I didn't want to curse her out. "Now I'm going to disconnect this call to admit you a chance to revise this situation."

"If you hang up, you better not call back," I snapped at her.

"Well, what is your malfunction?"

I heard the shock in her tone, and it surprised me that she didn't give me a speech about my attitude. I just sighed, seeing no reason to take my anger out on her. "I'm sorry I'm trippin' on you. It's just a lot of shit going on right now."

"I think that's obvious." We were both quiet for a while. I was still a little heated plus she called me, so I ain't have nothing to say. "Is everything swell?"

I wanted to fuss that _'_ _No, everything isn't swell,_ _'_ but I just sighed. "Everything is fine, Neila."

"That's good to hear." There was another short break in our conversation, and that gave me more time to calm down. "You're not going to let this compromise the rest of our exchange, are you?" she questioned in her damn automated voice.

I couldn't help but chuckle a little. Her voice was comical to me at times, and now I was almost glad she'd called me. "Yo' why do you talk like that?"

"What are you speaking of?"

I chuckled again at her. "Where did you grow up?"

"Is there a reason for your series of questions?"

I finally just laughed full out, and she sat quiet on the other end. I knew she had to be giving me her famous side-eye. She did it every time I did something to piss her off. "Why don't you just tell me what you called for?"

"I'm not sure I fancy doing that any longer."

"Stop being sensitive." I sighed again, relieved that I wasn't as pissed as I was when I woke up this morning. I hopped over the back of my couch and almost bust my ass when I messed up on my landing. "Shit!" was the only thing I could say when my knee slammed into my coffee table.

"I'd prefer to have a conversation with less profanity, Gordon."

"You better tell me what you called for," I gritted out rubbing my knee.

"Well it's not outright a serious matter. I just . . . " she started but stopped short. I could hear embarrassment in her voice, so I knew she was trying to ask me out somewhere. We went through this every time. She'd already done it like a dozen times, so I didn't know why she was still so scared to do it. "I thought . . . "

"You thought you could get me to hook you up with VIP this weekend. No problem," I told her, purposely trying to make it hard for her.

"No. I don't club, Gordon," she said with annoyance, and I almost cussed her for it.

"You have yet to bring your ass to my club," I told her, relaxing fully on my couch.

"Again, I don't club," she said, obviously trying to dismiss the subject.

"Are we friends?" I shot my question at her quickly. I knew it would catch her off guard.

"Friends? Why would you say—ask that? Friends? Friends is a strong word."

"We're not colleagues," I mimicked her voice.

"No, but—"

"We're not relatives," I mocked her again.

"That's correct—"

"However, we spend a rather large amount of time with one another for us to not be friends."

"What are you doing with your voice?"

"That's how you talk," I told her with a huge smile sitting on my face, and I didn't know how long I'd be able to hold in my laugh. "But for real, come to my club. We're friends and friends support each other, so come to my club."

"No." Her tone was hard, so I knew her mind wasn't about to be changed too easily. I didn't have much fight in me at the time, so I decided to just leave it alone. "Maybe we could . . . " she paused her invitation again, and I just shook my head.

I was tempted to hang up just to push her over the edge, but then I smiled because I could picture her face in reaction to my next suggestion. "You know what? I've always wanted to take a female to a strip club with me."

"Gordon!"

"You'd be perfect. YouTube worthy probably."

"Why do you say the most ridiculous things?" I heard the fuss in her tone, but I just laughed at it. "I'm trying to purpose an idea to you."

"What is it then?" I asked with my smile still in place.

She hesitated again before she spoke. "Would you like to have lunch at Beiley's tomorrow?"

I frowned and pulled the phone away to look at it. I thought it was crazy she had that hard of a time just to ask me to lunch at a place we'd been to beaucoup times. "We always go eat." I didn't want her to think I was shooting down her invite, but I wanted to do something else.

"We don't always go eat," she said defensively.

"Okay, there was that one time we were supposed to exercise."

"Fine. We do usually go out to eat, but I really enjoy that place. You do too."

"Let's go to Grand Prix. I want to ride go-karts."

"Absolutely not."

I expected that answer from her, but I wasn't about to back down. "BS, homie. That's what we're doing. We're going Wednesday."

"First of all, I work Wednes—"

"Call in," I simply told her.

"You don't _'_ _call in_ _'_ at my job," she told me sourly.

"Oh that's right. You work at one of those big prestigious companies."

"Do not mock my work."

"Wednesday, Heart. We're doing the go-karts."

"Gordon—"

"Wednesday," I said, cutting off her protest.

"I can't jus—"

"Go-karts!" I screamed like I was a little kid then I sang, "Twelve in the afternoon."

"You, sir, are an idiot." I just laughed at her. "Why do you want to ride go-karts?" she asked, and I could hear the disgust in her voice.

"Because I like it," I said defiantly. "We always do what you want. What kind of friend are you if you only want to do what you want?"

"Why are you still using that word?" she mumbled, but I didn't say anything about it. I didn't know what her problem was with admitting that shit, but I was not in the mood to hear her ass go on and on about nothing. "Fine, Gordon. How safe are these go-karts? This is new for me."

"Yes a friendship is clearly very new to you." I don't know why, but I just couldn't help myself. I had to bring up the topic.

"First of all, that's not what I was talking about. Second, can you not say that word?"

"Friendship," I purposely said, "is very important."

"Gordon," she tried to warn me.

"Once you find a friend, you have someone to talk to and have fun with."

"And when it's the opposite sex they're usually thinking about something else," she shot at me.

"Girl, don't nobody want you," I told her playfully, but I knew she would take it serious, so I started laughing before she even started her rant. "Chillax, Neila. I know we're just friends."

"We enjoy each other's company, and that's as far as it goes."

"Now how hard was it for you to admit that?"

"Not as hard as I thought it would be," she said as if she couldn't believe it herself. "I actually thought things were bound to get . . . weird with us being—"

"The opposite sex," I finished her sentence, figuring I knew what she was talking about. "Friendships can build between anybody."

"Well, like I said—you said . . . I'm new at this."

"As least you can admit that shit."

"What . . . _shit_ ," she said as if she knew she shouldn't be saying the word.

"That you're lonely," I teased her, and I could just imagine the face she was making.

"I am not lonely," she cut her tone at me.

"Chilling with nobody but your sisters your entire life?" I couldn't help but get pissed when Dani's face popped in my head. "I call bullshit."

"My sisters needed me," she said somberly, and I knew that had to be a touchy issue with her.

The asshole in me didn't want to care about another Heart woman with issues, but Neila wasn't that bad. "That's probably true, but what's also probably true is you didn't give much of a damn about what you needed for yourself." She didn't say anything to that, so I decided to just change the subject. "Wednesday, right?"

"Why not the weekend?"

"Because you always pick a day that I work."

"You party for a living."

"So you think. I'm working throughout the week too. I have meetings, budget account deadlines, promoting, and calls—"

"Yes, planning a party must be tiring."

"You like pissing me off, don't you?" I asked her with a squint in my eyes as if she could see me, but my small amount of annoyance left when I heard her chuckle. She didn't do that a lot, so hearing it was refreshing. "You just—"

Before I could finish, my phone beeped to let me know someone else was calling me. Unfortunately it was Deklyne. She had been easier to deal with lately, but I had a gut feeling that something wasn't right with her, so I was never too eager to talk to her. I had a reason for why she'd been acting like a nutcase, but she was still acting like a nutcase every other chance she got.

"Neila, can we talk some other time. Hayley is calling me." I didn't want to tell Neila the truth because I knew where her mind would go.

"Oh, no problem."

We hung up shortly after that, but she made me promise to tell her more about Hayley the next time we got together. After that I still didn't bother to pick up Deklyne's call. I just wasn't in the mood for her and whatever she had up her sleeve. I just decided I'd actually call Hayley. I hadn't talked to her all day, and it was still going to be a little while before she moved here because her mama wanted to spend her birthday with her before she moved here. Shit, I was not looking forward to a few of these women randomly popping up when my baby got here.

Thirty-Three : Terri

I bit into my burger, still feeling Brentin's eyes on me. He'd been watching me eat for the past fifteen minutes, and I didn't know what to do to get him to stop. I remembered him telling me to let him know if he ever did anything that made me uncomfortable, and he wouldn't do it anymore. I tried to tell myself that was an empty gesture, but for some stupid reason I wanted to try him.

I set my burger down then cleaned my hands with my napkin before folding them in my lap. I tried to look at him, to make him at least think I had a backbone, but I couldn't face his eyes so I watched my burger. I sat in that same position for at least a minute before the silence was finally broken by him.

"Terri, what is it?" I wouldn't respond to him, so he got up from his side of the booth and sat beside me. "What is it?" I heard the octave of his voice change, but I couldn't tell if he was annoyed or not. Either way, he gave me more time to speak before he said anything.

"You keep looking at me," I told him, not feeling as nervous as I thought I would.

"Oh," he finally said after a few seconds of more staring. I looked over to him and watched as he pulled his basket of loaded fries over to him. "I was actually waiting to see when you would say something about it."

I continued to watch him, puzzled by why he would want to do that. "Why would you do that?"

He smiled before he answered and peeled away a few fries clunked together by cheese. "I figured that would be the only way to get you to say something to me."

I knew I was a quiet girl, but I didn't think he needed to have a plan just to get me to talk. "You could have asked me a question or something."

"I could have," he nodded, "but I wanted you to start the conversation." He stuffed the fries into his mouth and kept talking. "See that way, you'd ask me why am I staring at you. I'd say to get you to talk. You'd say I could have asked a question or something, and blah blah blah."

I felt a smile tugging at my lips, but I knew it wouldn't show. It was just a nice thought. "Technically, you started the conversation by asking me what was wrong, so you did ask me a question." I shrugged and played with my napkin. "You could have done that from the beginning instead of acting like a weirdo."

He snapped his head to me, and I felt the blood drain from my head. My body froze instantly, and I knew better than to dare look at him. I didn't think he would get upset by what I said. I only wanted to tease him. I don't know what I was thinking. I knew I should have just kept my mouth shut.

It wasn't quiet for long, though. Surprisingly, I heard him chuckling. I took a chance to look at him and caught the sight of his smile. Despite trying to hold it in, mine took over my face, also. It was just something about his that brought my own out.

"You know you have really fat cheeks when you smile?"

My smile dropped when he said that, and I turned away from him slightly. The only other thing I could think to do was cover up the imperfection he'd just commented on, and he just started laughing. I felt a flush of embarrassment come over me, and I would have sprinted out of the restaurant had he not been blocking me in.

"I'm just playing, Terri." He grabbed my hands and tried to pull them away from my face, but I just slid further away from him. "Terri, stop it." He moved closer to me, pressing his body on mine and wrapping an arm behind me. He continued to try and gently move my hands down. "I was just playing. Besides, it's not like your cheeks make you ugly or anything."

I finally, but slowly, dropped my hands, and he released his grip on me. He kept his arm behind me though as he let that hand rest beside my thigh, and he never moved his body away from mine either.

"I like your cheeks," he told me with a smile.

I wouldn't look at him now because he was too close. Our thighs and hips were touching. He had as much of his front as he could get on my side and his arm wrapped around me as if he was trying to hold me. I knew what he was doing. Even though I tried to tell myself to relax, my instincts were telling me _"_ _Here we go again. He was moving in for the kill. He'd had enough of driving me around and paying for my meals and getting nothing in return."_ I had been trying to not let that part of myself win because Brentin didn't seem like the other ones, but I didn't want to be stupid enough to fall for any more games.

"Terri, what's wrong?" I was frozen yet again. I knew they all hated when I acted so stiff and like I was scared. I thought I'd become a better master at covering up my fear, but Brentin could always see when something was bothering me. I hated that he could sense things like that. "Terri?"

I just shook my head at him and tried to grab my drink, but he stopped me. "Brentin, I jus—"

"I'm making you uncomfortable?" I didn't say anything to his question. I knew if I kept my mouth shut and didn't bring up my feelings, he more than likely wouldn't care enough to ask any more. "Why? What did I do?"

I tried to find something in Fresh Mouth interesting enough that could change the subject, but our booth was in the back, and we were both facing the wall now. He was blocking my view of everything else, and nothing was out the window but empty cars. I turned my face towards his, trying to see behind us as best as I could, and I nearly brushed his cheek with mine. There was still nothing good enough to start a conversation about, though.

"It's a lot of people in here," I forced myself to say.

He turned my head with his finger so our eyes would lock. I didn't want to look at him though, and I tried to find anything else to focus on. His eyes and head followed my movements as if he was using his eyes to track mine until they stop then bring them back to his.

"Terri, I didn't mean to upset you about your cheeks. I'm sorry." He took a moment to watch me, but I still didn't give him a reaction. "I like your cheeks . . . and your smile." He touched my face again. "I love your smile," he said with his own smile appearing once again. "That's the first time I've seen it, and it makes you look so—"

"Brentin, will you please back up?" I blurted out, and regret quickly began to build in me.

His smile faded, and he didn't move for a few seconds until he frowned and bawled his fist that was beside me. The regret I was filling made its way up my spine, stiffening me more as I silently cursed myself for saying that to him.

"I'm sorry—I didn't mean to be rude. Brentin, I'm sorry."

"For what?" He finally smiled at me again, but I knew he was forcing it. I knew there was danger waiting just around the corner for me. He was probably like Kevin, all smiles when I'd give in and all fists when I didn't. "If I'm too close, I'm too close." He said that, but he still didn't back away, and his hand was still clenched and resting by my thigh.

"Yo, what the fuck is this shit?" We both snapped our heads to Kevin, who'd just taken the seat across from us. "When did this happen, my man?" He kept his eyes on Brentin, who finally moved away from me but didn't respond. "For real though, it's alright. I just saw you over here, and I wanted to see what was good with you. I'm not trying to interrupt."

"You're not," was Brentin's cool reply.

"I'm not?" Kevin kept a fake smile on his face the whole time he was talking, and now he was laughing a little. "Well that's good because I know your girl would be pissed if she saw you hugged up with another bitch."

"I wasn't hugged up with a bitch."

"Jessica wouldn't see it that way."

"I really don't care how she would see it. We're not together anymore."

"Bullshit, dude. I saw you with her last night."

"If you saw her walk up to my car at that gas station, you also saw her walk back over to her friend's car and leave. I'm not messing with her."

Kevin finally looked over to me, and even with the smile on his face I knew he was pissed at me. He laughed once he gave his attention back to Brentin, but he nodded in my direction. "This bitch don't care, anyway. She'll take anything slanging, long as you hook her up first."

"Don't talk about her like that."

He laughed again and opened his hands across the table. "What? You know I'm telling the truth. How long did it take you before you started getting that? What, a day?"

"Kevin, what's up with you?" Brentin asked him, and I was finally starting to hear some of the irritation I was waiting on him to have with me.

"Terri, tell this dude how your ho ass gets down. I mean, the other day I went over to check on this girl because I hadn't seen her in a minute, and I usually give her rides home, right. So I get to her house and she already got a dude in her driveway lined up and waiting on her. He looking at me like I'm invading on his property, and I'm like I'm just trying to help her out, and he start swinging on me until I tell him he can have her."

Neither of us said anything to him, but Brentin looked like he was becoming more upset than I was.

"I'm just saying, if you're going to be around her, be prepared for drama with other dudes because she's kicking it with everybody." He looked over to me in disgust before saying, "Even old dudes because they driving Range Rovers." At that point I knew his run in had been with Gordon, and I almost laughed picturing Gordon dealing with him.

"Is there a point to you coming over here telling me this?" Brentin asked with a steady eye on Kevin.

"We're boys. I thought you might appreciate the heads up."

"We're not boys. I know Anthony, and you know Eric. They kick it from time to time, so we happen to see each other a lot. That's it. Don't ever come up to me with immature bullshit like this."

"The fuck you talking to?" Kevin asked, a little shocked that Brentin had dismissed him so coldly.

"If you want to hold onto some hurt feelings because you and Terri aren't cool anymore, that's sad, bruh." Brentin stood up and pointed to what I assumed was now our trash, and I began helping him gather it up.

"I ain't holding on to nothing, dude." Kevin stood up too, trying to intimidate Brentin, but it didn't work. "I can't help it if your new bitch is my old bitch."

"She's not a bitch." Brentin had finally turned to Kevin, and his tone and demeanor was now threatening.

"Why you getting so defensive over her?" Kevin laughed. "You think this is going to help her with her decision to give it up? I already told you she don't care—"

"I'm not having sex with her," he fussed, and I knew he wanted to scream at Kevin.

"What?" Kevin was laughing harder now. "Why you keeping her around then?"

"I'm not like you. I don't just think about sleeping with girls."

"You're the only dude I know that acts more like a fagot than an actual fagot."

"No, that's not it. I'm just the only dude you know who acts like a man and not some horny, temperamental, childish-ass boy."

"Wait, wait, wait." Kevin laughed again and licked his lips. I recognized the look in his eyes, and I wanted to warn Brentin that he should just let things go. "I know you're not insinuating that I act like that, are you?"

Thankfully, Brentin ignored Kevin and grabbed most of the trash before walking away. Kevin just stood there looking down at me, but I wouldn't say anything to him. His eyes looked colder than what I was used to from him, and now I hated that Brentin had just walked away and left me with him.

"What you doing, Terri? You think you can just brush me off like that? You think you can get some dude, who I don't even know, to threaten me to stay away from you?"

"I didn't tell him to do anything to you."

"Really?" I heard the sarcasm in his voice, and he moved closer to me but got stopped by Brentin. He knocked Brentin's hand away and glared at him.

Brentin didn't verbally tell me it was time to go, but looking at his eyes I didn't wait to be told. Brentin grabbed the remaining trash and kept only one step behind me.

Once we were in his car, he stopped himself before starting it and sighed. "Terri, I need to ask you something." I didn't verbally respond, but I nodded after he looked over to me. "It's personal," he said to me as if asking for permission to keep going. I gave him another nod, and he licked his lips as he looked forward and grabbed the wheel. He thought for a few seconds then let out another sigh. "Is Kevin the type of guy you're actually attracted to?"

I didn't answer immediately, and he looked over to me. I could only shrug at first because I didn't want to answer. "I don't know," I ended up mumbling because I couldn't honestly answer that question without him looking down on me, and I could no longer look at him because of it. I wasn't even attracted to Kevin. Sure, he's an attractive guy, but who he really is takes so much away from his physical beauty.

"You do know, Terri."

"I . . . I just . . ." I couldn't find an ending for my sentence, so I just threw him another shrug.

"What about Thomas?" My head snapped to him, completely caught off guard that he even knew I knew Thomas. His eyes looked a bit bitter, and something in my gut told me he was ticked at me. "Or Greg? What is it you see in them?"

I flopped my back in my seat and started wringing my hands so tight I thought I was about to rip them off. "Will you . . . home," was all I could manage to get out before I felt the tears in my voice.

Neither of us moved for a few seconds, and then I heard his voice. "Terri, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that." He paused, I guess wanting me to say something, but I wouldn't. "I know it's none of my business, and I'm"—He put his hand on mine, and he cut himself off when I snatched my hand away from his touch. "Terri—"

"Will you please take me home?" I said in one breath, letting out a small sob before I could close my mouth.

I felt like such an idiot. He knew—He thought of me as a slut, and even if that wasn't the reason he wanted to talk to me and do all of these things for me, I was still mortified that he knew about that part of my life.

No one could ever imagine how low I felt each time someone figured out my secret. People wanted to hold it against me either to use me for the same thing or just make me feel like trash by throwing it in my face.

I couldn't face people after they learned about that part of myself. That was the worst part of my life—the worst part of myself. The moment a person knew that's who I was, I felt like the only thing I could do was disappear.

"Okay, just—" He reached over to grab my hand, and I screamed for him not to touch me and rushed out of his car. "Terri, wait!"

I didn't even close his door and quickly started walking toward the sidewalk. I heard him behind me, but I wasn't about to stop.

"Terri, I'm sorry. Okay?" He'd grabbed my shoulders and made me face him. "I shouldn't have asked you that. That's not my business. I just . . . Terri, I just think you can do a lot better."

He dropped his hands and looked around at our surroundings. He seemed agitated but like he didn't want to lose his temper. I didn't want to be around him when he irrupted, so I tried to leave again.

"Terri, stop!" I froze when I heard his tone. It wasn't harsh, but it was hard. I still wasn't ready to test him yet, so I just stopped. "I'll take you home, okay? Can I . . ." He let out a breath, and I turned back to him in time to see him scratch his chin. "Can I please take you home, Terri?"

I waited before I said anything to him. There was still a debate going on in my head on how far I was willing to push him or trust him rather. It had finally hit me, now that I was looking at him, that he didn't have trusting eyes, at least not like Gordon's. Still there was something else about him that helped me believe I could speak my mind.

"You're mad," I told him softly, halfway hoping he'd understand my feelings without me having to explain too much.

He just looked at me, and I battled with myself for the next few seconds on rather or not to continue. However, whatever I had to say was obviously important to him because he wouldn't say anything. Oddly enough, his not saying anything gave me more confidence.

"I don't want to be around you when you're mad, especially when you're mad at me."

I didn't want to be around him when he was upset because I didn't want him taking his frustrations out on me, and I knew if I gave into him this one time it would only make it easier for him feel he could do whatever it was he wanted.

He looked down and licked his bottom lip before biting it. He stuck his hand in his pocket, and as long as he was taking to say something, I figured he was upset that I'd said no to him. He finally nodded and used his free hand to rub his chin again.

"I can understand that, and I'm sorry." He finally looked at me. "I won't lie; I am a little pissed. It's not at you though—"

"It is." I stepped closer to him, regretting my decision to cut him off because he marched up to me and grabbed my arms to pull me even closer to him. "Please—"

"Terri, I can't stand how you let people treat you, but I'm not mad at you. With all the things I feel for you, anger is not one of them. Okay?" I just nodded, hoping he would let me go. "Can I take you home now or do you want to call someone to pick you up?"

"I told you I don't want to be around you when you're mad at me," I said firmly.

I wanted to feel proud of myself for being able to say no to what he wanted, but I couldn't help but feel I was doing something wrong.

He finally backed away from me, but he grabbed my cell phone from my pocket. "And I don't want you afraid of me, but at least . . . " he stopped for a second then shook his head. "At least you're speaking up for yourself."

He called someone from my phone and asked them to come pick me up, and I didn't know who it was until Deklyne drove up honking like a wild woman. Brentin hadn't said anything to me the entire twenty minutes we waited. He just let me sit in his car by myself as he sat on the hood. He did, however, stop me before I got in Deklyne's car.

"I'm going to pick you up to take you to school. If you don't want me to just text me or something. I put my number in your phone."

"Brentin, you don't—"

"Don't tell me right now that you don't want me to come. I want you to think about it. If you don't want me to come, text me in the morning."

Deklyne honked again, and I just nodded at Brentin before hopping in the car with the demon. I couldn't figure Brentin out. I only knew I hated the roller coaster he now had me on.

Thirty-Four : Deklyne

I looked at Gordon like he had three heads after he'd won the basketball arcade game. He was acting like he was on an actual court instead of standing there shooting at a machine in a movie theater. I'd never heard anyone yelling as much or as loud over something so stupid.

"Gordon, please calm down. You do realize you're not playing in an actual game, right?"

"Don't be salty because you just lost. It's the Heat, baby!" He did a goofy dance that only embarrassed me more, but I tried to ignore it.

"I don't know how to shoot a basketball. Boo hoo," I said with sarcasm, and he just laughed. "Gordon, can we please do something else?" I asked once he pulled out his wallet and turned to the change machine.

"We still have twenty minutes until the movie starts. I don't want to sit in there the whole time."

"There is a restaurant in here." I waved my hand in the direction of the café area, becoming more than a little irritated with him.

He frowned at me, and I lifted an eyebrow at him. "I'm already taking you out to eat after this. Why you want to eat now?"

"Can we at least get some ice cream or something?"

"That's going to spoil your appetite," he told me as if he were my father.

"Gordon, I am an adult. I know what will and won't spoil my appetite." I grabbed his wallet and pulled a twenty out before tossing it back at him.

He caught it and just stared at me for a couple of seconds before putting it up. "Girl, I promise." He shook his head at me, and his attitude was about to put me on a hundred.

"You promise what?" I challenged him, folding my arms and walking up to him.

He just squinted at me before saying, "I really think about putting my hands on you sometimes." He tried to say that as if he was playing, but I knew on some level he was serious. I just let it roll off my shoulders though. "Everything just has to be your way, huh?"

"What? I don't want to keep losing to you at these stupid games. Who would enjoy that?"

"So if you were winning, it'd be a different story?" he asked and smirked at me.

"No." I shifted on my feet and looked down, causing him to laugh at me. "Gordon, I want ice cream," I whined.

"You're a big ass baby." He chuckled and draped an arm around my shoulders as we walked to the line.

It didn't take long to get our snacks, but I knew it would have gone faster had the bitch who'd been waiting on us put more effort into getting our shit instead of doing her damnedest to get Gordon to drool over her.

She reminded me so much of Dani that I almost threw up from it. Dani whored herself out, but at least this whore earned her wages from a taxable job. The thought to knock some sense into her did cross my mind, but I knew Gordon would've had a problem with it. I just decided to talk him into walking to the theater instead of waiting at a table, but we still had a good ten minutes, and Gordon just refused to go sit inside the theater.

"Why can't we go in yet?" I asked him, wishing I would have canceled this "date" with him.

He didn't even pretend to care about my impatience when he just shrugged and said, "Because."

"Because what?" I sloppily shrugged my shoulders back at him.

In two seconds his head was about to be spinning from a slap, to hell with how he'd react to it. This day was turning out to be the worst. All I wanted to do was lay some ground work so it would make the close that much easier.

"I want an answer, Gordon," I ended with a fuss.

"I don't want to listen to people talking and smacking on their food."

"We won't have a seat, though."

"Deklyne, I brought you to a matinée. Ain't nobody here," he dismissed me.

"That's because you're cheap," I shot back at him.

"Whatever," he mumbled with popcorn in his mouth. "You lucky I even bothered to bring you at all."

"If nobody is in there, you won't hear anybody smacking on their food." He purposely smacked on his food and stared at me. "Gordon!"

"What's up?"

He was so nonchalant, and again I wanted to slap him for it. After thinking things through, I realized going off on him would only set me back. I just scooped more of my ICY into my mouth and pouted. I heard him chuckle, but I wouldn't look at him. The next thing I knew, he had my hand and was leading me into the theater.

I was hoping things would start easing up, but I started feeling like I should have just come by my damn self or at least picked something else for us to do. The entire time the movie was on, I was either playing with my phone or damn near falling asleep. I knew we were at the movies so actual conversation was out of the question, but he didn't make a comment about the movie or even offer me any of his popcorn. This bastard didn't even try to put his arm around me.

I thought watching a romantic movie might have gotten him to do at least one of those things, but the only way I could convince him to come with me was if we saw some action movie. And even before that I had to corner him at his house because apparently "he'd been too busy to answer his phone," and after that I had to break him down just to go out, and then submit to his choice of movie.

This asshole really needed to learn how to take a woman out because this was utter bullshit. Once it was finally over, he jumped up stretching and watching everyone leave. Before I could even get out of my chair good, he was fussing at me to pick up my trash.

"Uh, they can get it." I tried to keep most of my attitude concealed. "That's what they have pans and brooms for."

"That's laziness right there. I hate that," he grumbled and grabbed my cup, and I just waved at him to hurry up.

We walked outside, and the brightness of the sun nearly gave me a headache. I was positive by the time this little date was over, Gordon would have made sure my head was pounding. I didn't even want to say anything to him on the drive to the restaurant because his voice would've started it, and I wanted to prolong it.

Unluckily for me, Gordon wasn't the only dumbass I had to worry about giving me a headache. My phone was going off, and I knew it could be nobody other than him sending me a message. I didn't even bother to take my phone out, and Gordon questioned me about that decision.

"Look, I already know who it is." I shook my head, wishing time could fast forward. "I really don't want to hear anything he has to say right now."

"Alright, baby." I knew he caught on to the attitude I was throwing, but he didn't sound anything like he usually did when I threw him attitude. He sounded more concerned than he did annoyed.

My phone went off again, so I pulled it out of my purse with the intentions of turning it off. Curiosity got the better of me first though, and I checked the message. Sure enough, it was from Maurice.

**Maurice Silvers** 03/15 2:37 pm

Deklyne I really want to talk to you. You need to explain this shit to me.

I just deleted his message and bounced my leg to calm my nerves. I didn't need to explain shit to him. He didn't even understand how close he was to me just cutting him out of my life completely, and he actually thinks I'm going to explain anything to him?

He was weak, and he knew I hated that about him. The thought crossed my mind to reply, but I knew it would hurt him more if I just continued to ignore him. Sure enough, another message chirped through on my phone, and I knew I was going to be amused by it.

**Maurice Silvers** 03/15 2:42 pm

What the fuck is wrong with you? Why do you love being this OD bitch? You love that I hate you? Fuck you! You ain't shit and the moment you realize that you're going to regret ever pissing me off.

I wanted to laugh at him for two reasons. One: he was definitely mad, and two: he never learned short hand. I'm sure he could have still said all he wanted to say all short and sweet had he learned texting wasn't the same as writing a letter. Either way, I just let out a scoff and looked out the window. Before I could register what was going on, Gordon had my phone. I was about to snatch it from him until I saw his face. I knew the message had pissed him off, and that gave me a great idea.

I gave him more time to let the message sink in before grabbing my phone as if I didn't want him to read it. "Really, Gordon? This is private." I turned my phone off and stuffed it back in my purse.

He just gave me a few glances, and I could see the anger bubbling in his eyes. "Is he always talking to you like that?" the stupid little protector asked. For him to act so distant and annoyed with me at first, he sure knew he couldn't stand to see "disrespect" shown to a female regardless if he didn't like her or not. Idiot.

I just held my head down and rubbed my eyebrow, mumbling "Oh God" under my breath. "Gordon, it's really nothing."

He let out a small laugh, but kept his eyes forward this time. "Is that who you kept texting while the movie was on?"

The answer to his question was _'No'_ , but he didn't need to know that. "He was just . . . Gordon, can we just drop it?" I fussed. I was an expert at breaking out the waterworks on demand, but I knew a shaky voice was all I needed at the moment. I started biting my thumbnail to add to the effect, and it worked like a charm.

He didn't say anything for a few moments then grabbed my hand that I wasn't chewing on. "I'm sorry. Alright?" He squeezed my hand, but I still wouldn't look at him. "Baby, don't let him keep getting to you like this. You can't even enjoy yourself right now because of him. Don't give him that power."

I couldn't believe how stupid he was. He actually believed Maurice was the reason behind the attitude I'd been giving him. "Yeah, if only it was that easy, Gordon." I wiped away a tear that wasn't even there yet, but I gave a convincing sniffle.

"I guess it's not." Once he stopped at a red light, he looked over to me. "You sure you want to go out then?"

I licked my lips and nodded but kept my head down. "I really don't want to be sitting at home doing nothing, you know? I really do appreciate you taking me out," I told him softly, and he nodded.

For a little while longer, I was quiet until I was sure enough time had passed. "You know what, though?" He didn't verbally respond, but he gave me a glance before fully focusing on the road again. "I'm really not in the mood to go to a restaurant right now." I kept my voice low and my eyes full of pent up emotion.

"I didn't think so, and I don't think you want to be alone, either."

I let out a scoff and squinted my eyes at him. "And what the hell makes you think you know what I want?" I snapped at him. I knew if I didn't get snappy at some point, he'd start wondering what was up with me.

He just licked his lips, and the squint he put in his eyes told me it bothered him. I was sure he wasn't going to comment too much on it though. "I don't know what you want, and I never said I did. I said _think_." I scoffed again and rolled my eyes, and there was a moment of silence for a while. "I'm just saying, you already said you didn't want to sit at home doing nothing. I'm just trying to be considerate." He let out an annoyed sigh and shook his head then mumbled, "I don't know why I'm even doing this." I knew he didn't want me to hear that, so I just pretended I didn't.

"Yeah," I said dryly."

He didn't say anything for a while, and I wanted to suggest he take me to his place, but I knew he was the one who needed to come up with a solution.

"You can come to my place," he finally said and shrugged. I wanted to blurt out ' _No shit, genius_ ,' but I kept my mouth closed for the time being. "If you get hungry, I can cook you something."

"You know how to cook?" I asked him with doubt all in my question.

He smiled, and I could tell he was a little embarrassed. "Yes, I can cook. I'm not a damn chef, but I know how to turn the stove on."

I ignored his joke and sat quietly for the rest of the ride and even after we'd made it into his home and I was resting on his bed, my mouth hadn't opened. He crept around his bedroom, taking off his shoes, slacks, and button up shirt, and I couldn't help but stare at his body as he did that.

I didn't even know he felt comfortable enough with me to strip down to his boxers right in front of me. He had a bathroom right in his room, but he just stood there, letting me see his gorgeous body. That fucking angel tattoo on his back was so sexy too. I smirked to myself thinking about when I would finally be able to run my tongue all over his body.

"Deklyne, why are you looking at me like that, baby?"

I snapped my eyes up to the back of his head and frowned a bit. "I'm not looking at you like anything."

He chuckled and my eyes watched his shoulders flex as he moved things around on his dresser. "You think I can't see your ass in this mirror?"

I looked at him in the mirror and saw the stupidest smile on his face. "Fuck you, Gordon."

"I think you want to." He laughed more, but I forced myself not to look at him. Seconds later, he crawled on his bed and on top of me. He just hovered over me for a second before smiling. "Do you want me inside of you, Deklyne?"

Nothing to say came to my mind at the moment. It was getting easier to read Gordon, so I knew he wasn't the freak for fun type of dude. It was obvious he had to be joking with me, and even though I wanted to tell him _'_ _Yes_ _'_ and _'_ _Let's hurry up and get this thing over with_ _,'_ I knew I had to play his game if I wanted to come out on top with my sisters. I had to give him the right response.

"No, I don't want you inside of me. Can you please get dress and get your naked ass off me?"

He laughed before getting off the bed and putting on some basketball shorts and a tank. He walked out and came back a few minutes later with a bag of chips stuffed under his arm and two glasses of what I guessed to be soda.

Ha! I knew his ass wasn't going to cook shit.

He found space for the drinks on his nightstand and threw the chips to my left and pushed me over with his butt so he could sit on the edge of the bed. I just giggled and grabbed his leg to massage it a little. I heard him chuckling, and I looked at him with a smirk.

"So you don't want me, but you're rubbing my leg and the last time you were in here . . . " He didn't finish his sentence, but he was smirking and using a teasing tone.

I snatched my hand away from him, and he laughed harder. "That is so old, Gordon."

"But it still happened."

"Correction. It didn't happen."

He just chuckled and scratched his head. "You want to know what's funny?" He laughed again, and something in his eyes told me I wasn't about to like what he said. "Lord knows you know how to work my nerves better than anybody else, but I still don't know how to feel about you."

I flicked my wrist at him and looked at his nightstand. "You just said how I make you feel. I annoy you."

"You do annoy me," he said with a shrug as if he was speaking common knowledge. "But you make me smile and laugh too."

"Is that so, Mr. White?" I asked and grabbed his hand to play on the opportunity he'd just given, but he pulled it away and pinched my cheek then laughed at my frown.

He leaned over to kiss my cheek next and lingered a little longer than necessary. "It is very so, and I might even care about you a little more than I thought I did," he said and grabbed my hand again.

The way he said that didn't make him sound very believable, and I'm sure he was too dense to even realize that was the most pathetic way to say he cared about me. I mean I basically had him thinking I'd told him my deepest and darkest secrets, and all he could say was that he might care about me a little more than he thought? With his weakness for weak bitches, he should have been on his knees begging me to let him take care of me already.

"I appreciate that, Gordon," I said tiredly, and his frown pretty much gave away that he heard the sarcasm in my tone.

For a few seconds he just glared at me, and I really couldn't understand what he was upset about.

"The hell is wrong with you?" he kind of fussed, and the way he was looking at me was like I'd just compared him to Hitler or something. "You don't want me to tell you that I care about you?" He sucked his teeth and snatched his hand away from me.

"What are you talking about?"

"This is fucking ridiculous. Y'all act like me caring is—What the hell is so wrong with me actually caring? You rather have me treat you like shit instead of care about you? Even with knowing I care about you, you still want to cause drama over some bullshit?" he finished his fussing, but waited for some grand explanation.

His attitude had changed so fast, and I knew it couldn't have all been because of what I'd just said. I'd said plenty of things to him before that pissed him off, but he'd never reacted like this. Not to mention, I didn't cause one ounce of whatever drama he was talking about other than throwing sarcasm his way, sarcasm that he's already accustom to coming from me.

I had to think about a response because I knew telling him the way he told me he cared came out like shit would be the stupidest thing to say. "No, it's just I'm sure you care about Dani more than you do me, right?" I figured I'd lay the guilt trip on. Guilt could be such a useful tool.

His eyes got darker the second I said Dani's name, and I almost smiled because of it. Obviously there was something much uglier going on between the two than Dani was trying to let on. She wanted me to believe that she was just letting the inevitable take its course, but now I'm highly doubting the inevitable will be her ending up with Gordon.

To think she went on and on about him wanting to meet her at his club the other night. Clearly she hadn't sealed the deal or this bet wouldn't still be going on, but she wanted to make it seem as if things were going according to her schedule, and she was just giving me a shot. Fun fact though, her schedule means she's banging a guy the second she meets him. It's been weeks, and Gordon acts as if hearing her name gives him a headache. Ha! It won't be long now.

"I do care about her," he said and broke me out of my thoughts, but it seemed as if he had to force himself to say that, "but it's not a more or less type of care."

"Well you cared about her enough to try and get with her, right?"

"So?"

"So if you care about us the same what are you saying?"

"Exactly what the hell you just said. I care about the both of you."

"You say this, but you also told me you weren't the jump between sisters type?"

"I'm not. Caring about you doesn't mean I want to get with you."

"You and Dani—"

He snapped his head to me, and his eyes looked like fire. "Why are we having a fucking conversation about her ass right now? Matter-of-fact, our names don't even need to be in the same sentence." He was too emotional over that bitch, and it was pissing me off.

"Why are we spending so much time together?" I asked, still trying to fish for a route to take.

"I spend time with Neila too. I'm not trying to get with her, and I care about her."

"Gordon, what are we doing?"

He scooted down the bed a little, and I frowned at his reaction to my question, but I let him speak first. "Nothing."

"Nothing?" I cautioned myself to stay in character before I opened my mouth again. "You were just trying to get me to have sex with you."

He laughed, but I knew he wasn't enjoying our conversation. "I was just playing."

"So what about all of that talk about your feelings for me?" He wouldn't acknowledge me anymore, keeping his eyes on the floor and his mouth closed. He did have a smile on his face, but I knew it was because he felt like his was trapped in something and didn't know what to say to dig himself out. "You just told me you cared about me."

"I'm not about to go back to point number one in this argument." He made eye contact with me and sighed before lightly pinching my side. "You either accept that I care about you or cry about it in your pillow at night."

I sat up, and we just held each other's stare. He finally looked at ease sitting there, despite the small storm I still saw in his eyes. I knew I wasn't going to convince him that he wanted to be with me, which pissed me off, but I figured I could hook him with another approach. Dani was a hot button, and angry, revenge sex was still sex.

I win, Dani. Thanks for being a bitch.

"Okay fine. So you care about me . . . just a little bit." I measured an inch with my fingers and smiled, and so did he. I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. "You and Dani will work things out—"

"No the fuck we won't," he corrected me quick as hell, and the anger seeped from every syllable. "That shit is . . . " He laughed, but I knew it was an angry laugh. "I don't even want to think about it."

I laughed and looked to the side, and he just looked at me. "Wow."

"Wow what?"

I shook my head and laughed again. "It's just . . . " I licked my lips, purposely taking my time. "I just think it's funny how Dani knew how I felt about you and decided she wanted to use you for her own games, and now her games seem to have blown up in her face." He gave me a hard look, and I knew he was even more pissed at Dani now. "I really don't understand her. It was one thing for her admit to seeing you as one of the many suckers she could use as entertainment, but to tell me she would steal you away from me just to prove it." Again he just sat there, but then he jumped up. I pulled him back down, but he was pissed. "Wait, Gordon. I didn't tell you that to upset you," I lied. "I'm so sorry."

"Who the fuck acts like that?"

I knew he was too in his feelings to think logically, the sad, emotional bastard. I'd just admitted to supposedly knowing Dani was playing with him, yet I said nothing even though I'm claiming to have strong feelings for him. The entire thing was comedy.

"Her ass the one walking around passing pussy out like her shit is some stimulus package, and she calling dudes suckers for taking it? And she got nerve to think I'm one of them?" He stood up and paced just a few steps then was still.

I wanted to laugh my ass off, but I knew better. "Just have something to drink." I handed the glass to him that had long been forgotten about, and he knocked it out of my hand and sent it a good few feet away. I knew he was mad, but he had better be glad none of that shit got on me.

"On some real shit Deklyne, what's wrong with her?" he fussed.

"Gordon, calm down." I pulled him back on the bed, but his temper was still up there. "She just likes to play games, and she loves being a bitch to me and whoever else she can."

"That's—"

"She knew how I felt about you, and she just wanted to hurt me. She clearly doesn't care about anyone . . . " I paused to let the emotions build, "including you. I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you." I made sure my voice was soft, pretending that I actually gave a shit about his feelings.

All of how he was feeling was everywhere on his face, and this was almost becoming too easy. This idiot was putty, and now I knew all I had to do was lead him only a little. I pulled his face closer to mine, and of course he didn't resist. I knew he probably wasn't too focused on anything other than being pissed at Dani.

"I shouldn't even be mad at her. My retarded ass knew she wasn't shit. All y'all asses—"

"Gordon," I cut him off with a peck on the lips. I didn't force anything, and I wasn't even seductive with it. I just wanted to grab his attention so he wouldn't group his anger for Dani with the annoyance I caused him every now and then. "I didn't hurt you. She did."

"Fuck her," he gritted out, and I knew this would be too easy now. His mental state was shot.

"She knew I wanted you," I whispered to him, and his eyes went to my lips.

"What are you doing?" he asked with a cautious eyebrow lifted.

I didn't say a word and just laid back and pulled him on top of me. Again he didn't resist and just stared in my eyes waiting for me to make the next move. The only thing on my mind right then was getting his shirt off, and he helped me accomplish that goal. That's when I finally pulled him into a kiss. The kiss was soft at first, and I was so sick of him being the gentleman. Now wasn't the time to be sweet. I knew he wanted it or at least he was tempted to do it, and we had the perfect opportunity.

Thankfully, he finally took to my lead and put more into our kiss. He nibbled on my lip a little and was irresistibly aggressive with the kiss. This was exactly what I'd been waiting on from him. I knew he wasn't some delicate bitch when it came to this, despite his soft, _'_ _I care about you_ _'_ persona.

He used his knees to push my legs apart and moved his lips to my neck. "We shouldn't be doing this," he whispered against my neck, and at this point even his protesting was turning me on.

"I don't really care. I want to be doing this."

He moved my hands above my head then moved his hands to my thighs. He griped them so he could position my hips the way he wanted them then he took my top off. I didn't know how he would react to my chest size.

Yeah, I had breast, but they weren't the biggest you'd ever see. My mother always let me know that it was my white half that had me lacking in the development of my body. Had I been full black, Gordon probably would have been just as hypnotized by my looks as much as he was hypnotized by Dani's. Still, all he did was smile and lick his lips before going after my bra.

Before anything else could happen, however, his cell started going off. He looked at it, and I knew from his face he wanted to answer.

"Gordon, get it later." I tried to pull his attention back to me, but he reached to his nightstand anyway.

"That's Hayley."

"Who?"

He ignored me and sat up and answered. "Hey, baby girl. You know Daddy was waiting on you to call." I rolled my eyes and flopped back down on the pillow. It was his brat he was always blabbing about. "Baby, let Daddy call you back. Okay? . . . It'll only be one minute. You can count down, and if I don't call by then, you call me. Deal? Okay. . . . Love you, too." I hadn't been watching him, and he turned my face to him once he was off the phone. "I saw that shit. Don't be making faces because I want to talk to my baby girl." He was smiling, but I was pissed the hell off. "It was a good thing she called. We almost did something we might have ended up regretting," he told me as he pulled his shirt back on and made his way out.

I couldn't believe this shit. I had him right there, and the little brat ruined it. I was not looking forward to spending one more day with his weak ass, but now I knew I had to do that much more to pull this off. The next time we got that close, there was no way in hell I was going to let him walk away. There was something that I knew would pick my spirits up though. I called Dani to wish her a good day, from the house phone in Gordon's bedroom of course—my cell was too far.

Thirty-Five : Gordon

I took a sip of the imaginary tea from the small teacup as I held the matching tea plate. Hayley had been talking nonstop about everything she'd seen on her trip up here, but I was listening intently because I'd missed her talkative self.

"And we drove on Alligator Ally, but I didn't see any alligators," she told me sadly.

"Well that was a good thing, baby." She pouted a little more, and I leaned over to kiss her forehead. "You'll get to see other animals once you get settled here."

"Can we get a puppy?" She'd been asking for a puppy for some time, but I wasn't sure she was ready for one just yet. "Please, Daddy?"

"I told you I was thinking about it, but if I said yes, you'd have to wait until you were a little older." She pouted again before refilling our cups.

"Gordon, I still need to talk to you," Valrie said as she leaned against Hayley's door frame.

I sighed because I wanted her ass already gone, but I just stood up while holding in a sigh. "Hayley, come on so I can make you something to eat."

I grabbed her and toted her downstairs with Val eying me. She hated that I still carried Hayley because apparently it spoiled her. I sat her down at the kitchen table and fixed her a bowl of fruit and a small glass of apple juice before walking Val back to the living room.

"So was it that bad between us that you had to move all the way out here?" she asked, standing in her signature stance.

I knew I was now about to be roped into one of her shows. That was her telltale sign—one leg balancing her weight and the other leg to the side. By her standards the leg she was "displaying" was her best leg. Both of her legs looked the same to me, but she thought her left calf was better toned. Propping it out like that made her think I'd focus more on her body and would eventually give in to whatever she was talking about. For her, a little leg wasn't enough though. There was no fun in the victory if she didn't have me drooling over best asset: her breast. She wrapped one arm around her stomach and the other hand played with the collar of her shirt, rimming dangerously close to the part of her breast that was exposed.

Today she wore _that_ dress too—my dress. It was yellow, not very tight but fitting, low in the front, short but still modest. It was sleeveless, so I saw she'd toned up her arms, something I'd always tease her about doing. Her legs of course looked nice, and she knew her strut in heels could always turn me on.

I smirked at her as I actually took time to take her in. I knew her ass was trying to dress to impress. She was not wearing traveling clothes, especially when she was the one doing all the driving.

"You know why I moved here," I finally told her with a small tease in my voice. "Business."

"Yeah, this place will bring you more money than damn Miami," she argued, and I almost laughed at her. She wanted my move here to be about her and had some fantasy built in her head about me still being caught up on her.

"Mike's father has history here, and Mike wanted to leave his name here too." I shrugged as she mugged me. "He asked me to help."

Neither one of us did anything for a few seconds, but I knew she was trying to read the situation because she needed to find the best tactic to get what she wanted. She was either about to go sexy or get defensive.

When she started walking over to me, it was obvious she was trying to be sexy. I didn't mind when she wrapped her hands around my neck, and I couldn't control myself and pulled her closer to me. I still missed having her sexy, thick ass in my arms, but I knew I felt nothing serious for her anymore.

"You mean to tell me Mike is so important to you that you'll move away from me and your daughter?"

"I moved away from you," I told her with a smile. I knew my words would hurt her, but I was done worrying for this woman. "Hayley ain't going nowhere."

I saw her eyes get a little small, so I knew she felt deflated. Still, she was a pro and never backed down. "Gordon, you think running from our problems will fix anything?"

"I didn't run from our problems. I got tired of trying to fix them by myself." I gave her a sly grin, knowing her head was working overtime trying to figure out how to seduce me. "Plus it was over between us for a year before I moved," I said and squeezed her ass.

She squinted at me but smiled and pushed her body on me a little more. "You were still trying to get back with me until you moved."

I shrugged because I couldn't deny that. "True, but I still came here for business once I realized you was just a ho."

Her eyes got hard, but I held her tighter to keep her from pulling away. "Excuse me?"

"I've wanted to move to open a second club for years, and you've known that. The only reason I thought about staying was because I thought it was best to fix things for our family's sake." I lowered my eyelids and slowly licked my lips at her. "You actually made that decision easier for me," I explained to her.

"How?" she angrily fussed at me, and I just smirked. "By being a ho?"

"When we first broke up, you ain't wait two weeks before people saw you out with some dude. Then when you were done with him and I thought we could work shit out, you ain't wait a week after we broke up that time. We said it was over for good then, but like eight months later we're getting along like butta' but before we made it official, I caught you with another dude."

"Gordon, we were never together when any of that happened. How can you call me a ho?" She struggled to get me off of her but stopped when I kissed her right under her earlobe.

"That's what I call you when I'm talking to my boys," I whispered to her before chuckling softly.

I knew it pissed her off when I put her dirt out, but she needed to stop with her shit. In her world, she didn't care about me or our relationship unless it involved sex and money. She knew it took nothing for me to get caught up on the way she put it down, and all she wanted was the high from the small bit of fame and fortune she felt came with my lifestyle.

I knew I was plenty to blame because I sold her that dream in the beginning, but sex and blowing money got old for me quick. I promised her cars, clothes, jewelry, her name in lights, and she got all of that. The problem was she fell more in love with that than with me. If the club wasn't in the paper at least twice a week spotlighting her contribution—which wasn't anything but showing up, drinking, and acting an ass—there was a problem with us. That is until we sexed our problems away, but then the storm started all over again. She never cared to fix it, regardless of us having a child together.

She thought everything was fine as long as I enabled her lifestyle and she supplied the sex. Our relationship was toxic, and after seeing the effect it had on Hayley, I couldn't do it anymore. And she honestly didn't care if I was with her because I never stopped taking care of her and Hayley's bills.

"Why you calling me a ho, Gordon?" she asked with hurt and pulling me from my own thoughts.

"Ain't no sugar coating with you." She tried to pull away again, but I squeezed her. "Why you dressed like this?" I put my face in the soft curve of her neck and inhaled. "And your perfume is fresh. You want me to believe this is how you take a road trip? You're up to you games, baby." I called her out.

"I went to the hotel and changed. When have you ever known me to meet up with anybody dressed just any kind of way?"

I finally let her go and held her away from me as I frowned. "Why the hell you need a hotel? You just dropping Hayley off."

"You expect me to turn around and drive back today?" I kept quiet because it was stupid of me to think that was going to happen. "I mean you do have room here in this beautifu—"

"Hell no," I cut her off. I knew what she was thinking, and I wasn't having it. She'd stay one night and find a reason to move in.

"Why so mean?" She spoke in a light tone and pouted.

When she grabbed the front of my pants to pull me to her, she let her hand linger and slip lower than she should have. She thought she was slick, but I just grabbed her breast and kissed her roughly. She had to squirm a little before she could push me away causing me to laugh.

"If you offer the pussy, I'm taking it." She just scowled at me, and I laughed again. "I ain't had none in months. I'm ready to pop." I tucked a finger under her chin to lift her head and slowly went for another kiss, but she dodged me.

"Gordon, be serious."

"You want me to be serious while you sit here and run your bullshit?" I questioned her sanity. "You up here acting like you want to talk about us, but you ain't said shit about missing your daughter when you go back."

"Don't you dare act like I'm just brushing Hayley off," she fussed, and for the first time I felt bad about what I'd said to her. The way her face contorted made it clear that what I said hit her hard. Her eyes watered a bit, and she inhaled deeply before saying anything else. "I cried and begged you for _weeks_ —weeks not to take her with you, but because I don't work everybody's telling me it's better for her to be with you."

"Okay, but you don't work or spend enough time with Hayley or consider her in a lot of the decisions you make." I tried to break things down for her.

"So I'm not perfect!" She threw her hands up in surrender. "But all everybody keeps saying is you have the job, like that's the big picture. You've been paying the bills. If I kept Hayley you'd still keep paying, right?" I was just about to get slick with her, but she cut me off. "I'm not talking about giving me your money to bullshit with!" her voice shook a bit. "I'm saying I wouldn't have to worry about the bills or I could just find another rich dude if it was just about the money or I could just get a job. I even told you I'd get a job and provide for Hayley my damn self if that's what the issue was. Did I not?"

I wasn't about to argue that point with her. She'd said that, but I had no faith in her follow through.

"The truth is everybody just thinks you're the better parent. So fuck it if I'm left in the wind, right?"

There was a break in her rant, like she was waiting for me to speak on the matter. How she wanted me to respond was anybody's guest, and I honestly didn't want to upset her. I was trying to understand where she was coming from, but it was still a battle.

"I may not be the perfect parent, but I love Hayley too. I don't want her living miles and cities away from me." She inhaled quickly, and I could tell she was seconds away from bursting into tears "I don't want her thinking Mommy doesn't love her enough to see her every day."

I brushed my waves forward and let out a long sigh. "Okay, I see this move is hard on you, but you ain't say nothing while the deciding was going on. You waited until things had been arranged."

"Bullshit, Gordon! You think me crying over the shit before and after you bought this house, the land for the club, and convinced Hayley to leave with you wasn't expressing how I felt about the whole thing?" I heard the anger in her voice and chose not to say anything. "You just ain't care about my opinion because you think Hayley is better off with you too. Why would I continue to waste my breath and get all upset when you're not even going to listen? Besides it must be some truth in everybody saying Hayley is better off with you up here."

I honestly didn't know what to say to her at the moment. I didn't want her to feel like I was kicking her out of Hayley's life, but she was still focused on being young and having fun. I knew she'd miss Hayley, and Hayley sure as hell would miss her. But just a few weeks ago she was trying to bump up the date Hayley would move in because she couldn't handle having Hayley twenty-four seven.

Hayley had been talking about her birthday with Val for the longest, and Val was ready to say forget itbecause she couldn't stick to the routine she had when I was around to pick up the chief work of taking care of Hayley. I had to bribe her just to make sure Hayley enjoyed her birthday, but now she wants to play doting mother?

"Daddy?" Hayley called me and came running from the kitchen with the phone. I hadn't even heard it going off, though. "It's a lady on the phone for you. She said her name was . . . umm. Wait," she held he hand up to me and put the phone to her ear. "Who is this again? . . . Oh right." She beamed up at me, and I smiled as I took the phone from her. "The lady is Dani," she said as if she'd given the final and hardest answer on some game show.

I couldn't even smile anymore at her after she'd told me who was on the phone though. I just stared at it and ignored Hayley when she asked what was wrong with me. "Go back in the kitchen and finish eating."

"I already finish—"

"Hayley, go back in kitchen," I fussed at her, but I didn't mean to. I just didn't want her to hear what I was about to say, and I couldn't ask her to leave nicely because I'd gone from zero to sixty. Once she gloomily shuffled out of the living room, my anger level went even higher. "Why the fuck are you calling me?" My voice was low, but you could damn sure hear the hatred in it.

"Don't talk to me like that, bitch," she spat, and she was lucky she wasn't standing in front of me. I know how my people raised me, but that would have been out the window today. It scared me to think that her ass would have probably been out the window too.

"Are you done entertaining yourself with one of your suckers?" I asked her, and it burned like a bitch to know that's how she saw me.

"Why was that message left from _your_ phone in _your_ house?" she fussed, and I just hung up on her.

I wasn't dealing with her or this schemer in front of me. "Get out," I simply told her, not caring that she was probably about to get the aftermath of what Dani had just caused.

"Your new bitch pissed you off so you want to take it out on me?" she questioned and laughed.

"You ain't walking," I warned her in the same even tone.

"Can I at least say bye to Hayley?" She grinned, probably pleased that my life wasn't as peachy as I was letting on. "I know you're dealing with some things, but Hayley shouldn't miss out on saying goodbye to her mother just because of her father's messy decisions." She faked sadness, and I'd had enough of her.

I snatched her arm and started forcing her to the door. "Text that shit to me, and I'll show it to her."

She laughed harder because she wasn't nothing but a cold, calculating bitch. "Gordon, it's your own fault. Stop looking for us women who you want to fix." She laughed again, and I pushed her out the door and slammed it. "See you when you move back to Miami to get away from that bitch, Gordon!" she screamed through the door.

I almost snatched the door open to really go off on her ass, but I just clicked the locks. She hit the door twice and because I knew she was still out there and I didn't want to escalate things, I was carrying Hayley up the stairs and to my room in seconds. I set her up to watch The Lion King, and I went down the hall to work out all the anger that was flooding in me.

Thirty-Six : Neila

I stood there at his door after I'd rang the bell, and nerves were starting to wreak havoc on my stomach. Butterflies were everywhere, and it caused me to question my sanity. This whole thing with Gordon was becoming a bit much because I knew this "friendship" he kept speaking about was a pretense. I had no doubt that in his mind it was all leading up to that certain something, but I was more than willing to cut all contact with him when it got that far. As for the time being, I saw nothing wrong with what we were doing. So this couldn't really be classified as a friendship, could it?

Either way, for now I didn't mind the girls still thinking I was focused on this bet. At least they wouldn't be too upset that I was focusing more time on Gordon than them. However, if a sordid affair between us was on Gordon's mind, I guess it was better to figure that out now. Perhaps I should just stick to the bet in order to see how far he'd go. I'd never had a friendship in all these years, maybe trying to build one with a guy willing to dive into a cesspool of nasty with me and my sisters wasn't the best idea.

Trying to figure this out was really making my head spin, and it clicked that this was not the place I needed to be in order to figure things out. I hadn't even called Gordon to let him know I was on my way over. Unfortunately, before I could sprint away from his door, it was opened by a little girl. I knew she could be none other than Hayley. Gordon had brushed off my initial attempt to get him out today because she was finally in town, and he wanted to spend time with her.

"Hayley, baby!" I heard him yelling from inside the house then he was standing behind her pulling her from the door. "Don't do that, baby. Always let Daddy answer the door. Okay?"

"Sorry, Daddy. You were taking too long."

"Never mind that. Did you hear what I said?"

She huffed and looked up at me. "Yeah."

Now I was really uncomfortable. I didn't know what to say with this little person staring up at me like this. It was freaking me out just a little bit.

"Neila, what's going on?" Gordon pulled the door open a little more, but he didn't look as if he was about to invite me in at all.

"Oh . . . well . . . " I looked around at his neighbors' houses and let out a stupid laugh. "What is going on?" I asked myself as I couldn't even remind myself why I was over here. I was starting to feel more and more like an idiot as the seconds ticked by, but I couldn't think of anything to get myself out of this situation.

"What's in that?" Hayley asked, pushing a finger on the basket I held in my hands.

"Oh, right!" I laughed as I pulled the basket higher and pointed at it. "This is uhh . . . food."

"Food?" Gordon questioned me with a smirk on his face.

His little smirk always ticked me off. I always felt as if he was taking me as a joke when he smirked at me. "Yes, it's food, Gordon." I brushed invisible wrinkles out of my skirt and blazer. I needed to get myself together and not think about how his small actions annoyed me. "It is a sustenance needed in order to sustain life. I'm sure you've heard of it." He laughed at me, and Hayley pulled on his arm and looked up at him.

"What, Daddy? I want to laugh."

"It's nothing, baby. Daddy's friend is just funny . . . and cute."

"You said I was cute."

"Aww, you are cute." He picked her up, and she squealed before laughing. I thought it was adorable how she rested her head on his shoulder, but Gordon was still falling off with me.

"What's her name?" she asked him while playing with his chain but looking at me.

"That's rude. If you want to know her name, you have ask her not me. She's standing right there."

She held her head up to look at me but put it back down and started laughing. "I'm shy." She giggled, and I couldn't help but smile at her.

"You know you're not shy."

Gordon tried to pick her head up, but she just laughed and dug her face further into his neck. He bent over, letting her hang in front of him, and she screamed even louder with laughter. The sight really was cute.

"Are you going to ask her name?"

"Daddy!" she shrieked when he wouldn't let her up, and then he started tickling her. That's when she really had a fit. "What's your name!" she managed to get out. "What's your name!"

"Stop being so loud." He flipped her over and let her stand in front of him while holding her hands. "Ask her." He playfully pushed his knee into her back and made an attack sound.

"Daddy," she whined. I guessed she didn't like his taunting.

"Ask her." He repeated his actions, and Hayley whipped around and pushed his knees.

"Daddy, stop hitting me."

"What, you mad?"

Hayley rolled her eyes, and it was fairly easy to clue in on how quickly she could become annoyed with Gordon's antics. "I'm trying to have a conversment, if you don't mind." She gave him so much attitude, but the smirk on his face proved he found humor in his daughter.

He made eye contact with me for a short second, and I knew his teasing was hardly over. "You want to tell me what a conversment is?"

"Daddy." She threw her hands on her hips and turned to give him her best impression of a _'_ _grown up_ _'_ face.

"Are you fussing at me?" Gordon did his best at pretending to be shocked.

She rolled her eyes again and held her fingers up to help list some things off. "You're being bad, and you're being rude."

"I'm just tryin—"

"Daddy, it's not okay," she fussed.

He scoffed and folded his arms, and I could tell his feelings were slightly hurt. "Fine. Have your conversment."

"Gordon, stop," I told him trying to hold in my own giggle.

"Excuse me, miss?" Hayley finally spoke to me.

"Yes, love?" I gave her my attention, suddenly feeling a bit more comfortable. Gordon eyed me, but I just laughed.

"What's your name?"

"My name is Neila," I said and smiled at her. "You're Hayley, right?" She nodded and smiled back before grabbing Gordon's hand again. "Well, it's nice to meet you."

"So Neila, what's up with the sustenance?"

I looked down at the basket again and started to feel as if I was intruding. He told me how excited he was to finally have his little girl with him, and here I was trying to slither my way in on his quality time with her, all over a stupid bet that had no meaning to me anymore.

"You know what? It's not even important."

"You came all the way over here," he said as if he was trying to give me an opening to stay.

I scratched right under my bangs and let out a breathy laugh. "It's just, we haven't seen each other in a few days, and I didn't know when would be the next time I'd be available." I waved a dismissive hand at him. "I'm sorry. I was being selfish. I knew you wanted time with your daughter, but I just had to get my time in." I realized I was rambling, so I let out a calming breath. "Long story short, I cooked for you two as a way to intrude tonight, which was wrong. I truly do apologize. Maybe next weekend or the weekend after, we can get together? You two have fun, and again—"

"Daddy, I don't want your cooking. I want hers," Hayley said cutting me off, and I couldn't do anything but wait until Gordon spoke.

"Excuse me?" he finally asked and pulled his hand away from Hayley. He had his little pout on his face, and I smiled knowing she'd hurt his feelings again. I had to wonder if she was always hurting his _'_ _Daddy feelings_ _.'_

"You always cook Ramen Noodles and hotdogs."

I narrowed my eyes at Gordon, appalled if this was true. "Gordon, please do not tell me that is what you're feeding this child."

"That's my specialty." There was defense in his tone, and I knew he didn't want to see the ridiculousness in what he was saying.

"Can we have her food?" Hayley pleaded, and I was tempted to feed her regardless if Gordon wanted me to or not.

"And how do you know she can cook better than me?"

"Neila, can you cook better than Daddy?"

"Of course I can, love. Your daddy is crazy if he thinks Ramen Noodles and hotdogs are a specialty.

She turned her face up to Gordon with a triumphant smile on her face. "Daddy, she cooks better than you." I smiled at the fact that all it took was my word for her to believe I cooked better than Gordon. However, who couldn't do better than Ramen and hotdogs?

"You know what? I'm hurt by this." Gordon held his hand to his heart, and again his feelings were on his sleeves. Hayley only shrugged and patted her father's arm.

"If you can't cook, you can't cook. That doesn't mean I love you any less."

I laughed and handed the basket to Gordon. "Well there's lasagna, bread sticks, salad, and peach cobbler in here. I hope you enjoy it, love," I said to Hayley and brushed her cheek.

I turned halfway around when I felt Gordon tugging at my arm. "Wait, baby. You don't think I'm going to take your food and let you dip, do you?"

"Gordon, I—"

"Come in here."

He wasn't taking no for an answer, and now I was feeling like an intruder again. As soon as I was fully into his living room, Hayley had my blazer and was running to the closet with it. Gordon told her to slow down and then wash up for dinner. By the time all was said and done and dinner and dessert was gone, Hayley was passed out in front of the television on the floor, while Gordon and I sat a bit too close on the couch.

I slid further to the arm of the couch, resting my back on it. Gordon took that opportunity to slip my shoes off before placing my feet in his lap. He smiled down at Hayley for a few moments before turning off The Lion King. It was quiet in the room for a long while, so I closed my eyes and leaned my head back. The next sensation I felt was amazing. Gordon was actually rubbing my foot. I shot my head up to look at him, and he just smiled at me.

"What, you're sensitive about letting people touch your feet?"

I just eyed him for a few seconds. "No," I said tentatively as I studied him a few seconds more. "I'm just wondering why you're doing it."

He moved the massage up to my calf with one hand, but the other continued to work on my foot. "You deserve it. I mean you went to work, went to your home, cooked for me and my child, and then you drove over here to feed us. And you did all of that in those sexy ass heels. Baby, you deserve a lot more than a foot rub."

I couldn't hold my smile in any more. "Well, that's nice of you. Thank you."

He chuckled and focused on my foot for a second before looking at me. "You don't thank people for thanking you, Neila." I didn't say anything in response to him, and he chuckled again. "You're a cool person, though. Weird as hell sometimes. Hard as hell a lot of the time, and a little ditzy."

"Hey," I warned him.

"It's the truth. Deal with it," he told me flatly, and we both stared each other down for a few seconds before he laughed. "You know you're a bit on the slow side, Neila, even with your degree."

"How did you go from thanking me to mocking my intelligence?"

"Aww don't be so sensitive. To be honest, I enjoy all of it. I haven't met a lot of females like you. Hell, I haven't met many people like you, period. You're just someone I can chill with and not worry about any drama, besides your PMS episodes anyway."

I ignored his last snide remark because it had come to my attention that I could be a bit much at times. "That's me, Miss Drama Free."

He continued to rub my foot, and I couldn't tell if this would have been a good time to ask for sex or not. I didn't know if this was him initiating the act or him giving me the green light to go further. I didn't even want to, but with him rubbing my feet, what did he expect me to think?

Of course he was expecting this moment to happen. I'd brought food over to him. That's usually what calculating women do to get men sleep with them. I imprudently put the thought in his head.

How was I supposed to handle this situation now? Was I supposed to make the next move? I'd brought the food. He initiated the touching, so yes. I was supposed to make the next move. So eighty-six the friendship right and back to the bet? Sad that this has to end so soon.

"So, it's Friday," I ended up saying.

"Yes it is."

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

"I'm not leaving baby girl with somebody else her first week here."

"Oh, yeah. That would be bad."

It got quiet again, and he changed foot. I really couldn't think of anything else to do besides lean over and kiss him, but his daughter was sleeping right in front of us. That would be tacky to the nth degree if I tried to sleep with him right here.

I laid my head back again, now becoming dizzy with all the things bouncing around in my head. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't know how to do whatever it was I was supposed to do. I felt like such an idiot, and it now dawned on me why I hadn't had any male interaction in five years and why I hadn't had sex in eight.

"You want to stay the night?" he asked so coolly, and I couldn't believe he could ask me that so casually. I wasn't really shocked because deep down I knew it would come to this, but I just didn't think it'd be so soon.

"You want me to sleep over here? with you?"

"I mean, only if you're alright with it. I'm not forcing you."

"Your daughter. What would she think?"

"She has her own room. She'll be alright."

Sleep with the man? Don't sleep with the man? End the friendship? Be done with this peeving bet? God knew I had utter apprehension about doing the deed, but I'd already gone this far. So many things were flying around my head now, and I couldn't find the want to agree to this.

"Gordon, I don't know."

"I understand if you don't want to, baby. You just look so comfortable and like you're ready to pass out your damn self. My guest room is right there, and your house is a little minute away."

"Guest room?" I frowned and then quickly picked up on what he was saying. "Right, right." I jumped up and grabbed my shoes. "No, no. That's perfectly fine, Gordon." I felt so stupid and embarrassed right then, but I was more relieved than anything.

"You sure? It's a nice bed." He tried to sweeten the offer, but my nerves were too wound up.

"I'm sure. I need to get home and check on the girls anyway. I know they're going to be a bit upset that I didn't cook for them tonight."

"I'm sorry."

"Oh, please. It's not your fault." I tried to place my second shoe on and almost fell on my face. Gordon caught me, but I moved his hands and sat on his couch. "Thank you for inviting me into your home," I told him as I finished with my shoe and started on my way to the door. "And thanks for letting me meet Hayley. She's adorable."

"No problem, but wait—"

"Um, call me . . . when you get a chance—next week perhaps."

"Neila—"

"Bye, Gordon."

I was out of the door and rushing into my car. My whole body had begun to shake with nerves. I was actually considering sleeping with that man tonight. I was actually considering that with his daughter in the house with him. My head was pounding because of the realization of how I was allowing myself to behave. I was however thankful that I'd finally figured something out: I was done with these shenanigans.

I was not about to kid myself anymore. I was never going to sleep with Gordon, even if I could somehow build myself up to a thing like that. Neither one of us is looking for that from the other. I'm an intelligent adult intrigued by his goofiness, and he's a jovial individual fascinated by my honesty . . . I guess. . . . The main thing is I can finally admit that I like spending time with other people who aren't my sisters. Ha! I guess I am a ditz that it took me failing at this game of seduction to figure that out.

He only wanted to offer me his guest bed. I couldn't help but finally laugh out loud at the stupidity of my earlier thoughts. Gordon could make a thousand jokes if he ever found out, I thought and smiled to myself.

Thirty-Seven : Gordon

"I don't want to eat that," Hayley complained when I tossed a pack of Polish sausage into the basket.

"Yes you do," I told her, deciding not to give into her this time. I'd already put six different things back because she "said" she didn't like them. "You always eat them."

"You always make me," she pouted.

"Pout. I don't care," I said halfheartedly. She moped for a few seconds then she grabbed my pants leg and started her dramatics. "Well what you want, Hayley?" I huffed knowing giving into her for a seventh time in one day was going to bite me in the ass in battles to come with her.

"Spaghetti-Os," she beamed. I didn't say anything immediately and just looked at a few packs of Jimmy Dean sausage. "Daddy, I want Spaghetti-Os." She pushed on my legs a little to get my attention, but I still kept my eyes on the food.

I knew she hated when my attention wasn't on her, and a few times she tried to find what did have my attention. The second she saw my arm move to grab for something though, she tugged at it, so I just picked up the Jimmy Dean Maple Sausage with my other hand.

"I don't want that," she complained again and brought on a frown from me.

"Girl, hush," I barely fussed and put my hand over her mouth. She tried to squirm away, but I kept my hand over her mouth and held her against my leg. "You want Spaghetti-Os?" She mumbled and nodded, still trying hard to push my hand away. "That's a snack. What are you going to eat for dinner?" She finally stopped moving and frowned up at me, that's when I moved my hand after smiling at her.

"Whatever Neila cooks," she told me matter-of-factly, and I just laughed.

"Baby, Neila's not cooking for us tonight."

"Why not?"

"Last night was a special treat. That doesn't mean she's going to do it every night."

"Daddy?" she whined, and I pushed the cart on to go get her Spaghetti-Os. "She's the only one who cooks what I like," she exaggerated.

"You've had her food one time." I chuckled at her again. "You can't make that kind of decision yet."

"I want Neila to cook that again," she dragged on.

"Not tonight, baby." I expected her to keep up her fight, but she was quiet. I knew that meant she was upset about something, but she would have to find a way to get over this one. "I'll ask her another day. Okay?" She still wouldn't answer me, so I just sighed. "You mad at me, baby?" I stopped to finally put my attention on her, and that's when I realized she was nowhere near me.

My heart dropped in an instant, and it felt like the air had been snatched out of my lungs. Just that fast I was ready to kill every bastard in here to find my child. I sprinted back up the aisle and back to where I'd just come from, and there she was brooding. She looked up and saw me coming then I just stopped. I cautioned myself not to go snatch her.

"Daddy, I want—"

"Hayley, you better get over here," I snapped at her.

She knew she wasn't supposed to run off or lag behind in public places like this. I knew she didn't care one bit about her safety at the moment though. She was more concerned with throwing a tantrum because I wasn't giving in to letting Neila cook for her. She just kicked her leg, folded her arms, and mumbled on her way over to me.

"Stop acting like that," I warned her.

She wouldn't say anything for the next ten minutes that we shopped, and I tried to ignore her little attitude but couldn't. The last time I looked at her and saw her walking with her head down, so I picked her up so she could see the shelf I was looking at.

"Which one you want?" She wouldn't respond and laid her head on my shoulder. "Hayley, which pack you want?" I shrugged my shoulder to get her to move her head, and she finally sat up.

"Cookies make you fat," she said like she was some stuck up model.

"Girl, you already fat. Why you think my back always hurt after I pick you up?"

She giggled at me teasing her and cupped my chin. "That means you're weak, Daddy, cause I'm not fat."

"You better pick one before I pick the one I like."

"Which one do you like?" she asked as if she was actually concerned with which one I wanted.

I touched the Oreos because they were her favorite a week ago, but I knew her better than that. "I like these," I said, more in a questioning tone.

"Really?" The skepticism in her tone let me know I needed to pick a different brand.

"But I like these more," I said in the same questioning voice and touched a Chips Ahoy bag.

"You like those or the chunky kind?"

I just grabbed the chunky pack of cookies before setting her down to finish shopping. Funny enough, by the time we were out of the store, we still ain't have shit. I don't know why it was so hard for me to shop for groceries, but I knew I had to learn something quick so Hayley wouldn't get too attached to Neila's cooking.

I put all the "groceries" in the trunk as Hayley explained why girls were always supposed to start off walking with their right foot and why boys were supposed to use their left foot. Even when I tried to walk her around the car, she made me stop twice and start over because I started off with the wrong foot. After about another four minute tutorial, she finally let me buckle her up in the back seat.

Before I could make it back to the driver's side though, I saw Dani staggering out of her car. I paused for a long second, trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with her, but I just shook my head and climbed behind the wheel.

"I'm ready to go, Daddy," Hayley sang in my ear after we'd just been sitting for a few minutes.

"What, baby girl?" I lowly asked her, still fixed on Dani as she rummaged all through her car.

"Why are we still sitting here?" I didn't answer her, and she sighed heavily. "Oh I know what you're doing. You're thinking about what Neila's cooking for dinner," she said with a laugh.

"Neila's not cooking for us," I slightly fussed at her, but my eyes were still on Dani.

"Why not?" she whined, and I snapped a little.

"Hayley, she's not going to cook for us just because you want her to."

She was too quiet after I spoke to her, so my eyes went to my rear view mirror to watch her. She held her head down and played with her doll that she'd left in the car. Guilt hit me instantly, and I knew I shouldn't have yelled at her.

"Hayley?" She wouldn't look up, so I turned to face her. "You want me to call and see if she'll cook for us?"

"I don't want you mad at me," she said softly, and I wanted to slap myself.

I got out so I could get in the back with her and pulled my phone out. I knew Neila would give me some type of speech about calling her last minute with this, so I dialed the number and handed the phone to Hayley. Just as Hayley started talking, a car pulled next to me. I'd left both doors open, so I got out to close the driver's door so the passenger of the other car could get out.

My eyes on instinct went back to where I'd just seen Dani, and she was still searching her back seat for something. I could have sworn I saw her look dead at me though, so I got back in and sat next to Hayley.

" . . . and rice? I've never had that," Hayley said and giggled.

A bad feeling hit the pit of my stomach, and I leaned forward to get a better view of what Dani was doing. Lo and behold, her ass was headed right over to my car. I was not in the mood for her to start anything in front of Hayley, so I was out of my car and meeting her to keep her at as much of a distance as I could.

"She's in the car with you?" she fussed and pushed passed me.

I grabbed her arm and spun her around after she got a few steps. "Don't take your ass over there," I warned her.

"Aww what's wrong, Gordon? Don't want her to see me with you?" She slurred her words, and when I let her go her balance was all jacked up.

"What's wrong with you?" I questioned her, but I had a damn good idea what was up with her.

"She thinks throwing shit in my face means she won," she said with an obnoxious laugh and almost fell over. She grabbed on to me to keep from going down, but I didn't help her.

"What are you talking about? Won what?"

"Aww, you're so cute, G-Baby," she spoke in an animated tone and the alcohol reeked on her breath.

"You're drunk, Danielle."

"You want some, sweetheart?" she asked and then laughed again.

"Why did you come out of your house like this?"

She laughed once again and took a few clumsy steps back in the direction she'd come from. "I . . . " she wobbled and searched the air like it held the words she was trying to say. I heard her grunt before she leaned over then she spun around and almost fell again. "I wanted more fucking liquor, Gordon!" She swayed, and I just eyed her. "But, I can't find my gotdamn purse!" Once again, her drunken laugh could be heard throughout the parking lot, and she walked back up to me and wrapped her hands around my neck. "You want to buy me some more, don't you G-Baby?"

I moved her hands and pushed her away from me a little. "You drove drunk up to the liquor store? The fuck is wrong with you?"

"You said you cared, Gordon." She tried to be seductive, but she just looked pathetic. "If you cared you'd get this for me, sweetheart." She smiled, giggled, and tried to wrap around me again. "You care about me right, Gordon? You said you did or were you lying like Tavaris?" she asked me with hard, drunken eyes.

"Who the hell is Tavaris?" After realizing what I was doing, I let out a soft laugh. I was annoying my damn self. "You know what? It don't even matter. You need to get yourself together before you even think about speaking to me again."

She didn't even seem to register that I was talking to her at that moment. She went into her own world. "Me, Tavaris, and little Gabe," she said softly before holding me around my waist and resting her head on my chest. "Little Gabe," she whimpered, but I had no clue who she was talking about. "He would have made it better. I lost Gabe because he said he cared."

"You're making no sense right now," I fussed at her and tried to push her arms away, but she just held tighter.

"You told me Mama was wrong, but you did just what she said you would."

When I heard her say that, I almost wanted her to really tell me what was bothering her. Any time I've ever brought up family other than her sisters, especially her mother, she flipped out. Clearly something about that topic was destroying her.

"Dani?" I cautiously called to her.

"Mama taught me how to train you, didn't she?" she asked and giggled. "Mama helped me see all of you bullshit ass niggas for what you really are. Money and dick, and you don't give a shit about anybody else. That's why I don't fucking care about you, Gordon," she giggled. "I don't care!"

"Dani, you need to go home and get sober." I lifted her head, and she just laughed. More people were entering and leaving the other shops in the plaza, so I knew I had to do something with Dani before somebody called the police on her. "I'm calling a taxi to come pick you up."

"No! Just give me the fucking money!" She'd managed to grab my wallet, and while we were wrestling over it, she got some bills out and pulled away from me. She didn't get far, and when I grabbed my wallet back, she pushed me away from her. "Fuck you, Gordon! I don't need you or your fucking money!" She threw what was left in her hand, and I just went to pick it up. "You ain't shit, and I can control you Gordon! I know how to get to you!"

I was so tempted to leave her ass up here now, but I knew she was drunk. It would kill my conscious if she got in an accident and hurt somebody else or took a life.

By the time I'd picked up everything she'd thrown, I saw her leaning in my car talking to Hayley. I was over there in an instant, and I snatched her away from Hayley and slammed the door before walking her further away from my car.

"Don't you ever speak to my daughter when you're like this."

I had my hand cupping her jawline, and I knew it had to hurt her because it was slightly uncomfortable even for me. Even though I warned myself to let her go, I just couldn't. I knew I hadn't heard what she was saying to Hayley, but just the thought of a drunk, pissed off Dani even looking at Hayley didn't sit right with me.

"Don't you even bring your ass near her. Do you hear me!"

When I finally did let her go, she fell to the floor and it took everything in me to walk back to my car. Once I got back in, I grabbed the phone from Hayley. "What was she telling you?" She just frowned at me as if she didn't know what I was talking about. "The lady outside, Hayley."

"Why were you mean to her?"

"What did she say, Hayley?"

"That I was pretty, and that I shouldn't let anybody tell me what I'm not good enough for because I could be whatever I wanted to be. But she was wrong," she said with a giggle. "I told her I couldn't be Simba, and she said I could be a actress and then I could be any character I wanted. But Daddy, I can't be Simba. Simba is a boy." I just stared at her, and she smiled. "Oh and she said you might change and be mean to me, but that doesn't mean I should let that break me. I told her you were never mean to me though, and that you always call me your fragile egg so you wouldn't break me." I still didn't say anything for a few seconds. "Daddy, I don't want to be up here anymore."

"Just wait a few more minutes, baby." I kissed her forehead before catching up to Dani as she staggered past her car. I gripped her arm before she could walk into the liquor store, and she snatched away from me. "Dani, you need to go home."

"You need to tend to your daughter."

I pulled her back to her car and sat her in the passenger's seat before grabbing her keys out of her ignition. I took my cell back out and recalled Neila, and I didn't give her time to really speak before I was telling her to come get Dani. She tried to get me to go into detail, but I kept everything short. I walked back to my car, Dani's keys in hand, and waited for Neila to pull up. It took her about thirty impatient minutes according to Hayley, but it was only about ten to fifteen.

I took a look at Hayley, and besides annoyance, she seemed pretty unfazed by it all. I almost wanted to cancel whatever plans she'd just made with Neila because I did not want to rehash any of the things that had just gone down. Dani had a drunken rant that I wanted both Hayley and I to forget about. I just wanted to leave it at that.

Before anything else could happen, Neila was calling me. I just stepped out of my car and called her over to me.

"What's going on with Dani?" she fussed, and I had the feeling she was blaming me.

"I don't know." I got defensive, and her eyes went to my car.

"Did Hayley see her acting out?" She sounded a bit more concerned now.

"You were talking to her for the most part."

"I'm going to make sure she's okay." She squeezed my arm as a bit of reassurance before sitting in the back with Hayley for a while.

I just leaned on my hood and watched Dani. She was passed out in Neila's car now, and part of me was about to feel sympathy for her, but I refused to. She was a grown woman making these decisions. I couldn't hold her hand and try to walk her out of whatever was wrong with her. I had other things, more important things, to worry about.

"What a Saturday this has turned out to be, huh?" Neila said, coming to stand in front of me. "She wants Jambalaya tonight. Is that suitable for you?"

I shrugged not knowing how or why Neila wasn't a bit more worried about Dani. "Whatever is good with you. I'm just there to enjoy."

We both just stared at each other for a while, I guess not knowing what to say or ask next. The way she looked at me made me think she knew Dani was still on my mind though.

"Oh Gordon," she finally said with a sigh and giving me a pat on my arm. "She'll be fine. I'll just explain her actions to her and how this entire thing was completely uncalled for. I'll explain your actions as well. As hurtful as they may have been to her, she is majorly to blame for this game. We never should have done any of it in the first place."

I gave a small squint, not fully following what she was saying. "Done what, and who is _'_ _we_ _'_?"

She only sighed and shook her head before giving my arm another squeeze. This one felt like she was seeking reassurance from me though. "There was an incident that may have indirectly or directly, depending on how you want to look at it, involved you. Words were said that she obviously didn't agree with." She turned back to see Dani. "Apparently, more things need to be said." She sighed again, and mumbled something to herself.

"I'm still not following."

"Really, don't fret over this. If she has a problem with my remaining friends with you, we'll just have to deal with it then."

I watched her a second, trying to understand why she thought Dani would expect her to cut me out of her life. Dani and I never dated, not to mention I was just a sucker to Dani, so what sacred code would she be breaking by remaining as an acquaintance of mine?

"Anyway, I appreciate you informing me about her behavior. You didn't have too." I nodded and handed over Dani's keys.

"She was talking about some dude named Tavaris," I said, more than a little curious to know who he was. "What the hell he do to her?"

She gave me a side-eye, and I just sucked my teeth. "You're not experiencing some form of jealousy, are you?"

"No," I quickly answered, and I was slightly annoyed. It shouldn't matter to me who he is, but it does. "What about her mama? She seemed focused on her too," I said, hoping to force myself to be less interested in Tavaris.

She locked eyes with me for a second, and there was almost a bit of relief in her eyes. "Oh. . . . Okay. I guess it didn't have anything to do with you—well the incident." She gave a small chuckle before taking a deep breath. "It's just . . . so many things go through your head and . . . " I frowned at her when she didn't finish. "I'm just thankful this is her own issue and not something that will interfere with us—well I'm not saying there is an us. I just—"

"Interfere with us how?" I asked with my frown still in place.

"Well . . . " She looked down and almost like she was embarrassed to keep talking. "If this was due to your involvement with Deklyne, my remaining friends with you might come off as treacherous to Dani."

"How? I ain't do shit with either one of them," I fussed. I was getting sick of this whole thing.

"Gordon, let's not speak with obscenities right now. We're merely having a conversation. You asked a question, and I answered. Either way, that whole _'_ _what if_ _'_ situation is neither here nor there. Dani is dealing with issues that have haunted her for a while, that is the indispensable content. That has nothing to do with us. We're fine."

I didn't know how to take her response right then. She still seemed not too concerned with what Dani was going through. "Oh . . . so because we're fine we ignore what she's doing?"

She frowned at me with puzzlement on her face.

"Her acting like this has to be a cry out for help."

She stared at me blankly this time, and it almost pissed me off. I'd already told myself I wasn't going to worry myself with Dani, but I thought Neila would at least be concerned about her.

"She needs help. Your mama is something—"

"A personal matter that Dani refuses to deal with. I love her, but there's not much more I can do besides pick her up from liquor stores and waste my breath in arguments. She's an adult, Gordon. I can't force her to help herself. Neither can you." I just frowned, but she was speaking the truth. "So chillax," she giggled. "That's what you say, right? I'll uhh," she thought for a moment then tapped my arm, "take you and Hayley on the go-karts to make up for this whole thing." She put on an overly enthusiastic smile and wiggled both of my arms. "That will be fun," she sang and tried to dance with me, but she just bounced and kicked her legs a little.

I just frowned at her. "Neila, that's too much. Bring that down. You're at nine, go to four."

She laughed hard, and for the first time since I'd seen Dani, I smiled. "I'll be over at eight o'clock sharp, Jambalaya in hand." She gave me another smile and fixed my shirt before walking away, but she stopped just a few feet away. "Gordon, do you think it might do some good to give both Deklyne and Dani a break?"

Perfect sense, I thought. "Two steps ahead of you, baby." I wasn't about to put myself in the middle of their mess anymore. If Neila, their own sister, wasn't up in their business, what sense did it make for me to be? Besides, I had my hands full with Hayley now.

"Geez," she fussed at me as soon as I got in the car. "Are we leaving now?"

"Yeah," I told her, playfully fussing back with her. "Calm all that down."

"We spent more time in the car then we did buying the food."

"It's _than_ ," I corrected her. "You goin' get enough of complaining about everything."

"Daddy, I bet the food is spoiled. Now aren't you glad Neila is cooking for us?"

## Thirty-Eight : Deklyne

I just ignored Maurice as he stood next to my bed staring down at me. I really didn't know why he'd brought his ass over here, but I was ready for him to leave.

"You think you can just say whatever you want and that's the end of it?" His voice was low, and I could tell he'd been crying for days, probably weeks. I felt disgusted for him. "Answer me!" he yelled once he realized I wasn't going to acknowledge him.

I rolled to my side, giving him my back, and he rushed on my bed and tried to pull me to face him.

"Maurice, just stop! You're acting like an idiot. Why are you even still here?" I was on my feet now, and keeping him away from me was the only thing on my mind. I didn't want him near me, talking to me, or looking at me.

"Deklyne, just talk to me."

He took a few steps toward me but stopped when he noticed I was backing away. He shook his head and watched me, and I hated that sympathetic look he was giving me. I was not the one acting like some waste of life, so I wasn't the one who needed that look.

"Stop looking at me like that!" I screamed at him, and he just sighed, scratched his head, and paced a little before walking over to me.

"Just talk to me," he begged me and grabbed my hands, and I wondered if he was ever going to grow a backbone. "I've always been the one that's been there for you, Deklyne, and you know that. Why would you do this?"

"Maurice?" I just sighed and rolled my eyes. He was so pathetic, and it was revolting. I wanted to knock some sense into him, _beat_ some sense into him preferably. Maybe a bat to his skull would do the trick, crack it just enough to wake him from this fantasy world he's always lived in. Instead of that though, I just settled for telling him off. "This shit is not cute!"

"I just—"

"You don't do anything but cry and complain about every little thing that I do." I slung my hands free from him and tried to push him away, but he grabbed my shoulders and pushed me against the wall.

"You think lying about me wanting my child aborted is little?"

"It wasn't your child."

"That was my baby!" He slammed his hands on the wall behind me before putting a death grip on my biceps. "Don't you fucking tell me different!"

I didn't say anything for a few seconds because I could feel myself getting too emotional. I didn't know why exactly I was getting so worked up, but the longer he stayed in my face, the more I let my anger take over.

"Well, it's not anymore because it's dead," I finally said to him, hoping he'd go crying out of my face.

He just stood there for a few seconds, and his eyes looked like they'd changed from his natural brown to almost black.

"Fuck!" he barked and startled me a little.

This time he punched the wall beside my head, and I flinched at hearing it give way to his strength. For a while longer he stood in my face, breathing heavily and swaying from side to side. I thought about going around him, but I didn't want to risk him putting his hands on me again. I already knew bruises were going to form where he'd held me.

"You don't care at all," he finally spoke, and his voice was low and shaky again.

I really wasn't in the mood to watch him cry, but I did want to hurt him for getting on my damn nerves. "No, I don't care, Maurice. I'm getting sick of you and your pointless existence."

"You're not serious, Deklyne." He shook his hand at me before putting it over his mouth and chuckling. "You've put me through too much to stand in my face and call my existence pointless."

"I'm over you being everywhere I fucking turn!" I pushed his chest, but he didn't move anywhere. "I want more than what you fail at giving me, and I'm going to get it."

His eyes squinted, and he pointed a finger at me. "Who's going to give it to you?" he asked, and the way he did it let me know he already thought he had the answer to that question. "Who?"

Again I didn't answer him, and he just laughed for a while before just staring at me with an insane smile on, but I knew his smile was only a front to cover his tears.

"I knew it. God, I knew it!"

"You knew what?" I folded my arms, ready to be amused by whatever he was about to cry about.

"Who was he, Deklyne?"

"Who was who?" I tried to push him away again, but he grabbed my arms and put me back against the wall.

"Who was he! You told that man I wanted my child dead!" He slammed his hand on the wall again, and I tried to wiggle away from him, but he shoved me against the wall harder this time. "Why would you tell him that?"

I still just struggled to get him off of me, so he grabbed my chin and roughly snatched it to make me look at him.

"You needed a lie to get him to feel sorry for you? Huh! Was that it!"

"Get off me!"

"You wanted him to fuck you? That's the only way you get these dumbass niggas to mess with you, Deklyne."

The hatred I heard in his voice almost scared me, but then I remembered how weak he really was. Still, there wasn't anything I could find to say to him right then.

"Cris thinks your mother gave you up for adoption after your fictional stepfather got high on PCP and raped the both of you. Davis thought he was saving you from an abusive relationship with Andrew. Then with Andrew you found he out lost his sister to alcoholism, so you pretended to be a recovering alcoholic. And let's not forget James who actually believed you had fucking cancer!"

I was so close to laughing in his face. He was just upset because I'd found a way to get people to care about me, and he wanted to be the only person in my life who I thought cared about me.

"That's why you want me? You feel sorry for me?" I teased and smiled at him, and his grip grew tighter cupping my chin.

"I love you, and you know that! That's why!"

"You love me? Really?" I let out a small laugh, and he shook me a little.

"You think he can give you more than I can . . . more than I have already?"

"Oh, whatever." I laughed at him again, and that only seemed to piss him off more. I tried to pull free from him, but he wouldn't let my face go.

"Where would you be if I wasn't here? Huh? Where would you be?" He gave me time to answer, but I wouldn't. "You think I don't know who you really are?"

By now I could feel his nails digging into my skin, but I wouldn't let myself scream.

"I know why you act like this. What I don't get is why you can't accept the fact that you don't have to."

I couldn't help but let out a whimper as the pinch intensified. His eyes went to his hand, and I was finally successful at prying his hand away from me.

"You fucking lunatic! Get away from me." He seemed a bit more on edge than he usually was, but I knew it was only a matter of time before he broke down.

"No."

"Why are you doing all of this?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Why do you keep trying to find different dudes to lay up with?"

I rolled my eyes and scoffed. "I'm just trying to win a bet with my sisters," I fussed.

He didn't deserve an explanation, but I figured the only way to get him out of my face was to just let him know I wasn't actually trying get involved with Gordon. He could calm the hell down because he could still be "the one who really cares about me."

"A bet?" he asked me like I had just said the stupidest thing ever.

"Yes, a bet. Dani doesn't think I can get him, so I'm proving her wrong and winning a prize at the same time. I fuck him, and I go on vacation."

"So you're just trying to sleep with him?"

I waved my hand and snapped my neck. "Well, duh, doofus. You can relax now."

He just looked down at me for a while, and even with all the time he took to do that, I couldn't read the look he was giving me. Finally he backed up and ran his hand down his face.

"Do you even understand what it takes to be with you?"

"Uhh, we're not even together."

He shook his head and resumed his look of sympathy. "You don't want to be happy, do you?"

"I'm happy enough when you're not trying to shove what you think will make me happy down my throat."

"I'm going to lose my mind because of you."

"Don't blame me for you dumb decisions," I spat at him.

"The biggest one was promising I'd always be here for you."

I rolled my eyes and decided if he wasn't going to leave then I would. Before I could get past him though he grabbed me.

"You need to grow up and get over your past. You may think I'm just being weak and getting upset over nothing, but you don't even realize the things you're doing are hurting you too."

I tried to pull away from him, and he yanked me back.

"Keep going like this, and by the time you figure it out I might just think of you as the piece of shit you keep trying so desperately to make me see you as."

"You know what I hear, Maurice?" I asked and finally ripped my hand away from him. "Blah, blah, blah, blah."

"You know what I see?" he asked and grabbed me by my throat. "A weak bitch that can't get over not being able to meet her mother's expectations."

I tried to push him away from me, but he just slung me on my bed.

"You don't want me to be here for you anymore? You don't want anyone around you who can love you when you're at your worst?"

"You don't love me," I fussed.

"I'm not going to try to convince you otherwise. If that's what you believe, I don't care. You don't deserve better."

I jumped up and tried to hit him, but he kept my arms to my sides. "You don't tell me what I deserve," I tried to fuss again, but my voice was too shaky.

"This whole _'_ _I have issues because of my mommy_ _'_ is getting old. You either need to do something about it or stay out of my life. You're doing nothing but bringing me down, and I'm done with that."

I just chuckled at him. I knew he wasn't serious. He couldn't walk away from me. He never could. He'd given me plenty of talks, and all they've ever ended up with was the both of us naked. I didn't see any reason why this would be different.

He let his grip on me drop, and I brought my hands up to rub his chest. He wouldn't look at me, but I knew that would last for only so long. I worked my way up to his shoulders and massaged them a bit before wrapping my arms around his neck. He still wouldn't look at me, and I held his cheek to make him kiss me. He resisted me at first, but soon he was holding me like I was all that mattered to him. His kisses were always soft and long. He was always acting like he had to prove a point when he kissed, like if he didn't put his all into it the world would end or something.

I tried to pull away, just to move things further along, but he grabbed me back. He pulled me so close to him, I just knew he was trying to force us to literally become one. I pulled my head back, but he leaned with me, pulling me back up when I went too far. I got the message that he didn't want the kiss to be over, so I let him kiss me for as long as he wanted. What felt like ten minutes later, he'd finally satisfied himself and just rested his forehead on mine. Neither one of us spoke for a while, but I didn't care to say anything, so we just stood there holding each other.

"Things don't have to be hard between us, Deklyne."

I really didn't want to hear his whining again, so I kissed him. "I know," I pulled at his shirt, pushing along my foolproof plan that always got him to shut up. "I don't want things to be like this between us."

He let me take his shirt off, still looking at me with that pitiful look on his face. "We can have something."

"I know, Maurice." I began unbuckling his pants, and he started kissing my neck and walking me closer to my bed.

"You have to want it, though," he said between kisses.

I let out a shaky breath and held his back as he continued to play with my neck and step out of his pants. "I want it, Maurice," I moaned out.

"You know I won't ever hurt you, right?" he asked, laying me on my bed and climbing on top of me.

I knew he was going to continue to talk and make every promise in the world to me, but all I needed was for him to do me and fall asleep like he always did. "I know," I responded as I pulled his body to mine, but he stopped me before I could kiss him.

"Deklyne, listen to me. I want to make you happy."

"I know," I almost fussed. "We just—"

"Listen," was all he said as he put a finger on my lips.

I waited for him to finish whatever he wanted to say, but he just went back to kissing my neck. Soon he moved his lips further down, leaving a trail down to my bellybutton. He moved my shirt up, and finally kissed my skin and took his time kissing my stomach.

"My child was in here, Deklyne." After his comment registered in my head, I was about to say something, but the grip he put on my hands silenced me. It almost felt like he was purposely trying to cause me pain. "You took him away because your mother still has power over you."

He kissed me for a few more seconds, and it took me longer than I expected to find my voice. "Maurice—" I cut myself off once I realized I wasn't about to have control over my emotions.

"I promise I won't hurt you, Deklyne, but you better not ever hurt me like that again. It may be hard to lose my love, but I guarantee it'll be impossible to get it back. You would do that, Deklyne?" he asked, kissed, and looked up at me. I couldn't stand to look back at him though. "You would let your mama keep you from having someone who truly cared about you?"

I wished he would just shut up. I could feel it happening because of him. I felt my mind wondering off into memories that I never wanted to think about again. I wanted my mind to shut down at that moment, but I was stuck. I didn't know what to do, but there was nothing I could do, either.

"Look at yourself! Look!" she screamed at me and forced me to stare at myself in the body length mirror in her room. Tears rolled down my face, and I tried to fight her off, but I was only seven. She was so much bigger than me. "You're fucking disgusting!" She spun me around to face her, and the alcohol on her breath almost caused me to throw up. "You really think any man will care about you, let alone love you?"

"Mommy, please?" I tried to beg her to stop, but she just slapped me to quiet me.

She turned me back around to stare at my nude body that I was trying to cover. "You have nothing to offer a man. No breast. No ass. You pale and pasty as a mother fucker. Men like chocolate. They like chocolate, bitch! No man will ever want you. You're white. You can thank your daddy for that. The check he gave me I should have used for your abortion."

I tried to shove Maurice off of me as hard as I pushed that memory out of my head. "Maurice," I said his name with force, but he just ignored me.

"You don't have to force me to care about you, Deklyne," he said, not even caring that I no longer wanted him to touch me. "You don't have to go out of your way to get me to care."

"So you think your long hair and light eyes mean some shit?" she laughed her question to me. I just watched her across the dinner table, hating that Dani had forced us all here to eat dinner with this bitch. I didn't give a fuck if it was her birthday. "You think your little boyfriend cares about that shit. You're just pussy to him."

"Mama," Dani scolded her, but Mama just laughed and sipped on her cup she dared anybody to try and take from her. "We're here to—"

"No, fuck her Dani," I blurted out, and Mama just laughed harder. "Darren cares about me, and you just can't stand it."

"What do you have that anybody can care about? Neila is at least smart. Dani has the looks. Terri is the sweet one, but what the fuck are you?" she baited me, wanting to see me break, but she'd never get that from me again.

"Mama, that's enough!" Dani yelled and bravely snatched Mama's drink away. "Deklyne, you're just as gorgeous as any one of us, and you know how smart you are. If you hadn't helped me back when I was in high school, I wouldn't be in college now." She'd almost poured the drink all down the drain when Mama grabbed the pot of beef stew Neila had made and threw it on her. She of course screamed, and Terri was the only one not too shocked to rush to help her. She fell to the floor crying, and Terri tried to wipe the burning food off her skin.

Mama didn't regret what she'd done one bit and forgot about it as soon as she focused back on me. "Fuck what that bitch said. No man will ever care about you because who you really are ain't shit. I know from experience you ain't shit to care about. The moment a nigga find out who you really are, you'll see just how much he cares about you too," she told me with her hideous laugh.

"Maurice, get the fuck off of me!" I shouted, and he finally moved enough to give me room to squeeze from under him.

He tried to call after me, but I was out of the house, in my car and pulling out of the driveway before he could get dressed and catch up to me. The thought popped into my head to just end his life right then and be done with this shit he loved to put me through. Bringing up my mother every chance he got, that was all he was capable of doing. What use was his life now?

With that thought still bouncing around in my head, I decided to call Gordon. I knew it was a stupid idea, but I couldn't think of anybody else. I honestly wasn't in the mood for anybody else, plus Gordon was getting easier and easier to control. Still, he didn't answer my first three calls, and I was already three houses away before he finally picked up.

"What have you been doing all fucking day?" I fussed at him.

"First of all, you need to calm hell down. Don't call my phone cussing me out. If you want to know what's going on with me, find your manners."

I huffed, not feeling like getting into an argument with him. "Gordon, just tell me what you're doing."

"Why?" he questioned with his attitude.

I knew I needed to calm down if I wanted an invitation to his house, so I bit my lip before starting again with my act. "I'm sorry. I just had a bad day . . . a really bad day. Still, I shouldn't be taking it out on you." He didn't say anything to my apology, but I didn't expect him to. "Do you mind if I come over?"

"Hayley is here. I don't want a lot of people around her yet."

"Be there in fifteen," I told him, ignoring his garbage.

"I know you just heard what I said. That was a nice way of saying 'no,' Deklyne."

"Gordon, just—"

"I told you I'm not good with that yet, but I'll talk to you later. Alright?"

"So I can't see you now?" My voice trembled a bit, but I wasn't even trying to get it to do that shit.

"No."

"Don't do this right now, Gordon—" I actually started to beg him a little, but he cut me off.

"Deklyne, don't come over here. I'm serious."

He didn't even give me a chance to say anything else and hung up in my face. What shit was he on right now? I just threw my phone in my seat, extremely pissed the fuck off. The one time I actually needed this asshole to get my mind off of Maurice and the bullshit he loved to bring up, he tries to shun me? How could he do this? Mr. Protector? Mr. I care about you? Mr. I'm too stupid to see through fake tears, but when you really need me I'll kick you to the curb.

See, this is what I fucking hated! These fuckers will never actually care.

So why am I surprised when I already knew this shit?

Thirty-Nine : Neila

"This place is really good." I told Luke while we were waiting in line to be seated.

For some reason, I was actually excited to be back at Beiley's. I'd fallen in love with this place, and I just couldn't get enough of their wings. It was only natural for me to pick this place when Luke suggested I decide where we ate.

For about a week or so, Luke and I have been going out with each other in an attempt to build a better friendship. Heck, if I could build one with Gordon, why not Luke? It was Luke's idea, but I couldn't really complain. He was actually great company. Admittedly, he was no Gordon. I am a person of order, and sure I could consistently hold an intellectual conversation with Luke, and Gordon would rather goof around. Regardless of it all, Gordon brought something else to the table.

"You talk about this place so much; it better live up to the hype, Heart." Luke smiled at me, and I threw him a side-eye.

"If you don't like, tough noogies. That's all I can tell you." I didn't understand why he thought this place had to meet his standards. He advised me to decide upon a place pleasing to me. "If you'd like, you can pick the next restaurant we dine at together," I told him, figuring that was better than leaving it at me appearing uncaring of how he felt and what he'd like to do.

"That's fair." He nodded, and after a few minutes of silence, he nudged my arm. "You know, these past couple of nights out with you have been nice."

"Shockingly, they have," I honestly admitted and checked our surroundings, silently praying no one had taken my favorite booth.

"It's not so shocking, is it?"

"It's very shocking." I lowly responded to him, still distracted and trying to see through the crowd and to my booth. I saw a few people sitting there and two of them got up, but the others remained and sipped on their drinks.

"I don't think you mean shocking."

Right as Luke was talking, I saw the waiter walk up to my booth and hand back change to the couple. "Aww, yes!" I danced just a bit once I realized the booth was being vacated and cleaned.

"What are you dancing about, Neila?"

"My booth just opened up. Hopefully no one gets it." I checked more of the restaurant to check out the options. "They can put that first couple there." I pointed out the table. "Those three can go there." I checked around more, seeing just how full the place was. "This is going to work, Luke. It has to."

"Okay, anyway. What's so shocking about us having a nice time together?"

I looked further up the line, still trying to match groups to tables, and I saw a couple who was all over each other. After that, I could no longer focus on my task, and the thought crossed my mind to walk in front of them. They obviously didn't have dinner on their minds at the moment, and I was not about to lose my booth to them.

"Those two cannot be serious, can they?" I squinted a little as if that would annul the sight I was witnessing. "Unbelievable," I mumbled and shook my head, continuing to watch them as the group behind them pretended not to see what was going on.

"I really don't think shocking is the word I would use."

"That is absolutely disgusting. I would never in my life do something as trampish and downright hooker-like as that. It's amazing what people will do."

"We've never really had an awful relationship, so I'd never say that I was shocked by how easily we get along."

"Yes, I know. I'm shocked by how easily they can get it on, as well. Downright disrespectful." I'd been watching them the whole time, and after a few more seconds ticked by, I'd had enough. "Someone should go say something to them," I nudged Luke, hoping he'd catch the hint.

"Neila, that was not what I said."

"Where's the manager or someone in authority?" I craned my neck, but saw no one except the wait staff.

"Neila?"

"Yes, Luke?" I asked, still searching for someone who looked to be in charged.

"Why are you paying attention to everything else but me?"

I finally put my attention on him and tried to focus on what he was saying. "What now? Why is what? You were talking about being shocked," I tried to tell him. "About the couple up there, right? Vile, isn't it?"

"That's not what I was talking about. Why are you concentrating so hard on them?"

"I'm not trying to." I looked back at them and contorted my face in disgust. "They're just right there. It's like live porn. You're a man. How are you just ignoring this? I thought all men loved porn."

"First of all, that's not porn. There is no full nudity. No cameraman. No—"

"It surely looks like pornography to me, sir," I interrupted his rant, but he paid little attention to me.

"Second of all," he paused to gently grab my chin and turn my face back to him. "I'm trying to have a conversation with you. I thought all women preferred men to focus on them during the conversation."

"Luke, take a look at them." I watched them again myself. "How on earth can anyone hold a conversation knowing what's taking place only a few feet away?"

"Only you, Neila."

"I am not the only one—Oh thank heavens." I said once I saw someone telling them that they had to leave or stop groping each other.

After a few seconds of watching the manager talk to them then escort them and the next group to their tables, Luke gently pulled my chin back to him. "Now that that's over, you think you can answer my question?"

"What was your question, Luke?" I tried not to show the irritation he'd cause by constantly putting his hands on me and turning my attention away from what I was looking at.

"Why do you think it's shocking that we've been having a nice time together?"

My neck semi twitched on its own in reaction to his question. I waited a moment for him to explain himself, but he just stood there, waiting on me to speak. "It's an opinion. I didn't know opinions had to be explained."

He shook his head at me again, and smiled. "Only you, Neila."

"Yes. Only me." I checked our spot in line and then checked my booth. "Whatever that means." I responded lowly, but I was more concerned with my booth because I knew someone was going to be seated there before we made it to the front of the line.

"Shit!" Luke belted out, and I gave him an annoyed look for failing horribly at being calm and collected.

"What was that about?"

He looked at me, but said nothing then looked back out the window and to the parking lot. "Um . . . " He grabbed my arm, and I gently pulled it away.

"I think we need to have a discussion about personal boundaries."

"I think we need to go," he told me as if he'd just come up with a better idea than having that much needed discussion.

"Go? Why?" He wouldn't answer me and just continued to stare out the window with panic written all over his face. "Is there some type of dilemma?" I turned to the window, aiming to figure out what was going on.

"She's here."

"She would be?"

"Jennifer."

"Jennifer? You're wife person—girlfriend—"

"Fiancée."

"Yes, her. What about her? Is she joining us?"

"No. She doesn't know I'm here."

"I beg your pardon?" I started to pick up on clues, and I almost put my hands on him. "Your fiancée doesn't know you're out with me?"

"Listen, she's extremely jealous and insecure."

"Well that makes absolutely no sense. It's not like you go out with other women without telling her. She's obviously a lunatic," I said sarcastically.

"Neila, you don't know her. She's over the top with the things she does."

"Excellent," I said calmly, turning in line to watch the door. I wanted to be the first one to see her when she entered. "So when she sees us, I'm going to get a show. I could use the entertainment, and you surely deserve it."

"Can you not talk and just listen for a second?"

"How dare you put me in the middle of this." I was not in the mood to be accused of being his other woman.

"You knew I had a fiancée."

"And had it been up to me, she would have known that as colleagues, I was having dinner with you tonight. Now, however, it looks like you slithered away with another woman."

"Neila, she can't know we came together."

"Well she's going to. I am not lying to her to save you."

"I wouldn't ask this if it wasn't important."

"And if you cared anything about her feelings, you wouldn't be going out of your way to deceive and lie to her."

"She won't accept the truth," he all but groveled at me. "If things in her head don't match reality she gets—Neila, please just don't let her know we're here together?"

"You cannot be serious."

"She's coming in."

"So what am I supposed to say, _'_ _Nice running into you tonight, Luke_ _,'_?"

"Say," he paused to think. "Say you're here with your boyfriend."

"My boyfriend?" I laughed my words out in disbelief and at his nerve. I looked around, scanning for this person he wanted me to randomly pick out of the crowd and claim to be in a relationship with. "So who should it be, Luke?" I turned and spotted the perfect object. "Aww, he should do swimmingly. How about this Phoenix Roebelenii tree? He looks nice and healthy. How about I introduce him as Palm . . . _er_ . . . Tree? Mr. Palmer Tree."

"Luke? Luke?" Jennifer pushed passed her last two breathing obstacles—who all gave her annoyed stares—before she finally grabbed Luke's arm. "Luke, where have you been?"

"At work." He gave into the kiss she'd been trying to give him then pulled her hands from his face. "I told you I was going to be home later."

"You said you were working late, though. When I checked your GPS tracker, you weren't at work."

"You said you took that off," he said in an accusatory tone, but he appeared to be trying to conceal the anger he had.

"I said I was going to," she mumbled back. "But why are you here and not at work, Luke?"

"I stopped here to pick us up some dinner."

"Yes, hi." I butted myself into their conversation and waved at Jennifer. "I suggested this place to him, so when you fall in love with the wings, you have me to thank."

Jennifer just stared at me for a few minutes then put a vice grip on Luke. "Baby, who is she?"

I just smiled as Luke began to sweat. "She's a colleague of mine. She uhh—She told me about this place, so I wanted to try it out."

"You were going to try it out without me and with her?" She sounded so hurt, and I almost felt sorry for her. I couldn't believe Luke would do this to her, even though she did give off a deranged-clingy vibe.

He grabbed her shoulders, and with a smile on his face, he responded, "What? No. I was going to get it to-go and bring it home to you."

"But this is the dinning line, Luke." I reminded him with fake politeness. "The to-go line is _way_ over there," I exaggerated, still with a smile on my face.

"Luke?" Jennifer almost whimpered. I could tell she didn't want to believe he was lying to her, and she wanted to give him every chance to prove all doubt could be explained away.

"I met her up here, Jennifer. She saw me and thought it would have been nice to join her. We chatted for a while, but I'm just going to get our food so we can leave."

"Oh my God, Luke. You're seriously going to leave me up here?" I wished that for one minute God would give me the power of combustion, and Luke would have been engulfed in flames. I saw his eyes pleading with me, but there was no way I was going to let him get away with this.

"He wouldn't be leaving you if he didn't come with you."

"I didn't come with her." Luke gave a stupid laugh and continued to plead with me. "She doesn't want to be left alone. That's all." He kissed Jennifer on the top of her head and rubbed her arm.

"Well you could call someone else to come eat with you or just take yours to go. You shouldn't have come alone if you didn't want to eat alone."

"I didn't really come alone, but if Luke decides to go—"

"We met up here, but she—" Luke cut me off, but I did the same.

"I didn't drive, Jennifer," I snapped a little. I tried to be sincere with her, but I was just too ticked at Luke to keep up my gentle tone.

"Well how did you get here?"

"Her boyfriend drove her," Luke volunteered my answer.

"Yes. Mr. Palmer Tree drove me here in his little pot." I turned to the tree and looked it up and down before turning back to them. "We've been thinking about going green in our relationship for a while now." I smiled at them and Jennifer looked confused while Luke looked like death.

"I don't get it," she semi laughed and shook her head.

"He's out parking his car. He traded his car in for one of those ones that . . . " He laughed once he couldn't finish his sentence, but trusting Jenni waited for him. The longer I watched her waiting for her lie, the faster the pity I felt for her began to dwindle. "You know those commercials about going green."

"Yeah, I've seen them." Jennifer grabbed his hand and looked at me again. "So he bought one of those cars that's supposed to be better for the environment?"

"You know what?" I'd had enough of the both of them. He wanted to lie to her face, and she clearly wanted to believe his lies. "Sure, Jennifer. Sure."

Before any of us could say another word, Gordon was wrapping an arm around me to hug me and kissing my forehead. "What's up, Luke. Fancy seeing you here," he said holding out his hand to shake Luke's.

Luke returned the gesture and smiled, but I could tell he was still irritated about something. "Yeah. Neila told me about this place, so I had to check it out. She says she loves it, so . . . " He shrugged and ended his statement then wrapped an arm around Jennifer.

"Cause this is our little spot." Gordon grabbed me into another hug, and I instantly tried to wiggle away, but he wouldn't let me go.

"Oh so you're Palmer Tree?" Jennifer asked, too excited to think that there actually was such a person. Gordon just looked at her for a moment, and Jennifer grabbed his hand and laughed. "Her boyfriend."

Gordon looked at me and smiled before wrapping his arms around my waist and bringing my back to his front. "Aww shit!" he laughed and kissed my cheek.

"Oh my God," I said rolling my eyes and trying to peel his hands away.

"You talking about me to people? I didn't know we'd reach that point in our relationship."

"Gordon," I tried to warn him.

"Yeah, she said you were out parking the car, but I didn't see you when I pulled in. I would've walked in with you."

Gordon gave her another look, I'm assuming he was thinking the same thing about Jennifer that I was. "Yeah. I just had to find the perfect spot, but definitely the next time we see each other and actually know who each other is, me and you walk in together."

"Luke, I have a great idea," she said, spinning and grinning at Luke. "We should all have dinner together."

"No, I don't think they—"

"Naw, that's a good idea," Gordon said, cutting Luke off then he kissed my cheek and whispered in my ear. "You're lucky I had a craving for some wings. Why you lying to these people about having a man?"

"Excuse you." I finally pushed his hands from me after turning to face him, and he laughed. "Where's your daughter?"

"She's with Mike." I saw his face get a little sad, and I thought it was cute because I knew he missed her already. "Can you believe that? After months apart and already she wants to go see Uncle Mike."

"She's been with you nonstop since she got here."

"So?" he pouted, and I slightly nudged him for it.

I turned back to the sickening couple and clapped my hands. "Well, it would have been nice if you two could have stayed, but I think Luke really had his heart set on that whole to-go idea."

"I'm going to go see if I can get us your favorite booth, baby," Gordon said before stepping up to the front of the line.

"Luke, do you want to go?" Jennifer questioned dejectedly, and I tried to ignore the feeling of my nerves being worked.

He held her hand and looked to Gordon, who was helping decide where to place the groups in front of us, and then he patted Jennifer's back. "You know what? I think we should just try this place when it's not so crowded."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Come on." He grabbed her hand and led her outside mere seconds before Gordon was at my side.

"Where they going?"

"Never mind him." I waved them off. "Men are so deceitful. Gordon, why do guys do idiotic things but hate when people call them idiots?"

He just looked at me before speaking. "Why were you deceitful about having a man? You know damn well that's a lie."

"Luke wanted me to say that because he didn't want Jennifer to know he was taking me out. I didn't know he was being deceitful, so I ended up being deceitful. Can you believe he was going to leave me up here because he was just that desperate for her not to find out he'd brought me up here? I feel like such a whore right now."

"That's what you get for being the other woman." I slapped his stomach, and he laughed. "Well, our booth awaits, my lady."

He smiled at me and held his arm out for me to take. I couldn't help the feeling that washed over me once he showed me his smile. I was really starting to love seeing him do that. I slowly eased a smile on my own face as I let him lead the way. Thankfully the night was about to pick up.

Before we'd even sat down to eat, Gordon had me laughing with his silly antics, and I'd just about forgotten everything with Luke until Gordon decided to joke with the manager and pretended to be in a relationship with me. He even made up an entire story about it being our two year anniversary, and it being our first night out in months due to our eight month old child, Gianna. I thought about protesting until the manager agreed to complimentary desserts and after dinner drinks. He even brought over a bouquet of flowers for me.

"See, I know how to show you a nice romantic time," Gordon bragged as he turned down the street I lived on.

"Do be quiet, good sir," I begged him but laughed. "Those delectable goodies weren't even on your dime, and I received them because of a fib."

"Whatever. If I didn't fib, you wouldn't have got nothing." I just giggled as he pulled into my driveway. He wouldn't let me out though until he came over to open my door for me. "You tipsy, Neila?" he asked me when I missed my footing. I just giggled again, and he scooped me up in his arms and carried me to my front door. "You need to get your key out, baby."

I did as I was told and leaned to open the door. Once I pushed it open and he stepped in, I pointed to the staircase. "Up the stairs, Gordon!" I ordered him. He just laughed, kicked the door closed then made his way to my bedroom with me still in his arms. I let my neck lax and moaned out rhythmically as my head bounced with each of his steps.

"Lightweight," he said and chuckled at me. I just giggled back at him. "Where are your sexy pajamas?" he asked and let me crash to my mattress.

"Wouldn't you like to know," I teased him.

"I ain't ask that shit for nothing," he responded, looking through my dresser. I just giggled as I stretched and watched him walk over to me with a small tank top in hand. "Tank and panties tonight, baby." He snatched my shoes off and threw them over his shoulder one by one. "Get naked," he told me in a commanding tone, but I knew not to take him serious.

"And that is your cue to leave, Mr. White," I said and smiled at him.

"I'm just trying to do something nice."

"And stripping me is nice for me or you?" He didn't say anything and just returned my smile. "Nighty-night," I said and moved him back with my foot. He watched me as he backpedaled, and I just laughed at him.

"Good night, Neila," he laughed with me then left me there.

I didn't even feel like changing at the moment. I was going to shower in the morning, so what was the purpose? I just rolled to my side and went to sleep.

Forty : Dani

Tavaris stared at me, and the anger in his eyes was starting to make me reach a level of rage I didn't even know I had. His house had been damn near destroyed, thanks to me, and now he was about to physically feel exactly how his house looked.

I couldn't help but think that his house was a direct reflection of my soul and mind. My mind was gone, and it killed me to think about what the cause of most of this shit was. I knew it was bad enough that just from my own actions I'd been making myself sick, but now Gordon had the nerve to actually ignore my calls and not return my messages. He wanted me to question myself—question my own understanding, but I was soon about to deal with him. Right now I just felt like I had deal with this. This situation I could control and bring everything back to focus.

"What the fuck is wrong with you! You come over here and mess up my house!" Tavaris barked and moved toward me.

I just picked up his table lamp and hurled it at him. He slid out of the way, and it crashed to the floor, knocking over a shelf that held a few picture frames.

"Break something else!" he warned me, and he only motivated me to do more damage.

"I'm sick of you letting my girl go out with that bitch!" I screamed and pointed an accusing finger at him.

"You have truly lost your mind." He shook his head then held it like it was about to explode.

"That bitch is not her mother," I seethed at him.

"Yes she is because you damn sure ain't!"

I was swinging on him like a mad woman after he said that. He tried to cover himself up, but I kept finding open spots to attack. I wanted to make sure he understood this was going to be the last time he ever spoke to me in such a way.

Long before I felt I'd made my point though, he managed to shove me away from him and onto his sofa. I was in shock for a few seconds because of the force he used, but that quickly wore off once I lunged for him.

"Don't put your hands on me no more!" he screamed at me, slapping me hard across my face and sending me back again.

Again he'd shocked me, but he should have known better than anyone that I was not the person to lay a finger on. In seconds, I was heading to his kitchen. I was going to snatch open every drawer until I had a knife. Clearly, he knew what I was thinking because he was hot on my trail the second I was off the couch. We wrestled with each other a few times, but he didn't get a good grip on me until he noticed I'd spotted a substitute launch weapon.

"Dani, you need to get out!"

I spun away from him, grabbing his toaster and throwing it at him but missing. "I told you I was coming for the girl."

"The girl? The girl! She's your daughter, not the girl!"

"Fuck that shit!" I knew who she was, but I also knew what I'd do to her if I didn't keep her at the right distance.

"Really? That's how you—"

I threw my finger in his face, and he was instantly silenced. "I told you to have her ready because I wanted to spend time with her."

"You never want to spend time with her, and Macy has been planning this for weeks."

"Like I give a fuck. I'm her mother," I convincingly said, but even I knew that was a lie.

"You loaned her your uterus for nine months, and that's it. Macy is her mother."

"Say that to me one more time," I threatened him.

"I'm not saying anything else to you. You need to get out. Now!"

I walked up to him, placing my chest on his body. "You think you can still control me? You think you can make me do anything?" He didn't say anything and just returned my icy glare. "Do it, Tavaris! Try me, bitch! I will take that girl away from you so fast you won't even remember her name. That bitch is not going to have that girl believing all this fairy tale bullshit." The second I said that, guilt filled the pit of my stomach.

"You know what's funny?" He put a half smile on his face, but the tone of his voice gave away the evilness that lay beneath the gentle gesture. "For you to think so low about what your mother did, you sure don't mind acting just like her."

Hearing those words come from his mouth did something to me and made everything, including time, stand still. Every ounce of anger I'd just had felt like it was being crushed by something else. I felt like I was being crushed, and no matter how hard I wanted to continue to scream and fight with him, I couldn't.

I took a step back and held a shaky pointer at him before letting it drop. "You—" I cut myself off when I felt my voice about to misled him into thinking I was being weak. "You want to spit that bullshit out like—" I stopped myself again when my voice wavered for a second time.

I took more steps back and tried to laugh off the flood of misery coming at me. I waved my hand at him, letting him know that he wasn't about to get to me.

"The fuck are you trying to do to me?" He just stared at me, and had I any strength left, I would have put him on his knees—where he belonged. "Huh?" My voice left me again, and I felt my eyes burning. On instinct, I spun away from him and forced my eyes to dry. There was no way in hell I'd ever cry in front of him again.

"Why the hell are you crying?"

The coldness I heard in his voice hit me hard. He was not acting like the Tavaris who I wanted back on my roster. He was acting like some wild animal that I needed to tame . . . _again_. I was not about to let him get away with this bullshit. He had to pay.

"Fuck you, Tavaris!" I was finally able to face him head on, despite the tremble I still felt in my hands.

"So what if your feelings are hurt!" he carelessly spat at me. "What do you think you're doing to your daughter? The same thing your mother did to you!"

"No, mother fucker! I'm looking out for her ass!"

"How! You don't do anything for her. She's with me all the time," he pathetically whined.

"I left her with you because I thought you could do something with her. You're not some basic ass nigga who doesn't give a fuck. I made sure of that. That's better than what my mother did for me."

"Bullshit," he dismissed me with a wave.

"My mother did every filthy favor she could for payment to get all types of bastards to babysit our asses. She did that because she ain't want to waste her _'_ _hard earned_ _'_ money on a real babysitter. She didn't care who we ended up with as long as she could go out and do whatever it was she wanted."

"Why does that sound so familiar?"

"You still want to compare me to her?" I felt my anger returning, piece by piece, and I thought not enough blood was coming from Tavaris to compensate.

"How did she raise you?"

"She didn't," I fussed, fuming that he wanted to speak about my past.

"Just like Lexi," he said with a sarcastic smile sitting on his face. More anger bubbled inside me, and I continued to bide my time until I knew it was time to strike. "What did she teach you, though?"

"Not a damn thing," I gritted out through my teeth.

"See, that's where you're wrong. She taught you the same thing you're trying to teach my daughter. She taught you sexing niggas would get you everything you wanted."

"That's a good fucking lesson to learn," I countered.

"Tell me how that's working out for you." The look he was giving made it obvious he thought everything in my life was trash because of my understanding of that lesson.

"You couldn't handle the details, sweetheart." I smiled at him to keep from laughing at myself. I thought it was funny that it seemed I could barely handle the details myself, but I fucking managed, didn't I?

"You gave up everything to go chase dick, Dani!"

"Ha!" I screamed with laughter.

"I tell you I'm going to college to build a better life for us, and the first thing you do is find the fattest wallet to squeeze and throw me away like trash. After convincing you to stop letting your mother use you to take care of your family, and everything it took to get you into college—the begging, negotiations . . . then you dropped out, and I still stuck it out with you."

I could feel myself about to throw up in the middle of his little speech. He tried to appear so sincere with what he was saying. His eyes were almost convincing as pleading for understanding, but I was nobody's damn fool.

"The next thing I know," he continued, "you're pregnant then you finally tell me you've still been messing around on me! And what did I do! Huh!"

I shrugged my shoulders at his question, not caring one bit about his fake ass emotion.

"Stayed with you through all of it and paid for the DNA test that you didn't care about!" He squinted at me as if it was painful to think about the shit he practically caused. "You checked out, Dani, and you gave up everything. You gave up the family that could have helped you through everything, and we would have given the world to be there for you. Hell, we still would."

He could try to pretty up the past as hard as he'd like, but he knew what our reality was. He knew the role he played in it all, but he said nothing about the time he beat me daily until I had a miscarriage from complications. We were only sixteen, so I guess he forgot about that. He made no reference of the money he charged his high school friends so they could have their turn with me during his short stint as a "businessman." It must have also slipped his mind that my temper and understanding of the combination of money and men came from my mother and him.

He claims once he became a junior in high school he had some epiphany that opened his eyes to the man he was suppose be, but we both know it was my own change that caused him to straighten up. I finally realized if I didn't completely follow Mama's logic, the life I'd end of living would be one of beatings, manipulation, and under payment. I straighten up quick and got Tavaris' ass in order.

Truth be told, it was easier than I thought it would be, and the bonus was that the results were a lasting effect. That was evident with his speech he'd just given. Poor Tavaris could never rid himself of the training I'd already given him, regardless of the bitter taste I'd left in his mouth for him ultimately not living up to my growing standards.

I gave him my own half smile and closed some of the space between us. "I'm just ass, Tavaris. That's all I've ever been . . . to every dude that has ever fucked me, including you." He clenched his jaw and looked away from me. He was so predicable it was almost making me sick. "I've accepted the lesson my mother was kind enough to teach me."

"You are so sad, Dani, and I'm not about to let you corrupt my child into believing that."

"My mother may have done some foul shit, but she taught me the most important thing of my life. She saved me from unnecessary bullshit."

"And what's unnecessary, having somebody that actually gives a damn?"

"Nobody gives a damn, Tavaris," I laughed at him. I couldn't believe he could be so brainless. "It's all bullshit."

"You need help, Dani."

"Help with what! I'm not missing anything from my life. I don't care about the bullshit you're clearly stuck on. I know that's just some _bullshit_ ," I emphasized, "that never last because it doesn't really exist."

"You're so messed up you can't even say that word." I just shrugged at him with the biggest smile on my face. The whole situation was becoming more comical by the second. "It's not bullshit, Dani, and it never was." He stopped talking to watch me then he shook his head at me. "That's what happened. You let your mother get in your head."

"I let her teach me how to survive."

"You're too old not to be tired of the same shit."

"Tavaris, my life is easy."

"You don't think I'm hurting for you?"

"Hurting for me!" I couldn't hold my laughter in any more. "How the hell can you hurt for me?"

"I still care about you."

"Mother fucker, the only thing you've ever cared about was my pussy! So just stop."

"You stop! I messed up when I was a kid, Dani! I know that, but I changed! I looked at my faults and decided to do something about them. I changed and tried to be there for you. I tried like hell to love you pass everything I did to you . . . what your mother did to you. As sick as it makes me to think about what I've done, I can't apologize for it anymore."

He was a damn lie! He didn't give a fuck about shit. "Gabriel!" I blurted out the name of who was supposed to be our first child.

"Dani, I . . ." His voice had suddenly lost its base, and his eyes looked as if he'd heard the name of a ghost. If it was guilt he was feeling, I prayed it was ten times worse than what I felt for my child.

I'd known his name the day I found out I was pregnant. I didn't need to wait for him to be developed because I knew in my heart I was having a boy, and I knew I could raise him to be a better man than Tavaris or my father. Tavaris didn't allow it though.

"You remember him, don't you? My child you rip away from me!"

"I . . . " He muttered, but couldn't say anything and had the nerve to have a look of shame on his face. He sure could talk a good game about feeling sorry, but he damn sure couldn't face it when his shit was thrown in his face.

"Gabriel was my child! And I would have been a good mother to him or done a hell of a job trying to be a good mother. Fortunately for Gabe you were there. Right?" I narrowed my eyes at him, waiting for him to say something. Of course he didn't.

He just stood there silent, like some mute retard. This pathetic mother fucker! So quick to call me out about my shit, but the bones in his closet the Boogie Man wouldn't even touch.

"You remember how you explained what kind of mother I'd be and what I'd do to Gabe because the only example I had of a mother was mine?" I laughed and threw my hand at him. "And you have to remember the photo album of dead babies you gave me. That was classic." I had to laugh away the burn I felt in my chest as I remembered exactly how I felt when I opened that shit. I was so weak and stupid in those days. I wasn't shit! "A Tribute to Mothers Like You," I recited the title of the album.

"That was a mistake, Dani," he said lowly.

"And what do you know? You were dead on. Look how I treat my other children! Maybe you should have beat me until I lost Lexi," I laughed at him.

"I was stupid and scared! And I regret it all daily, but I can't live in my past like you."

I took my time before I spoke to him again because I was ready to wrap this all up. "Past, present, and future, I'm not a mother," I said to him softly as I forced my mind to settle itself. "I'm not a woman," I told him with a sly smile sitting on my lips. "I'm pussy, Tavaris. I know that shit, so I own that shit. That's what my mother taught me."

"I never thought of you like that."

"Oh really, bitch?"

I walked up to him and shoved him against the wall. He tried to argue with me more, but it was already over for his ass. My lips were on his, and the moment he felt them, he fell weak. He didn't even resist me and damn near took over the kiss. He was hungry for this, making it even easier for me to put him in his place. I broke our kiss to rip his shirt off, and he took that time to say some weak shit about us needing to stop. His eyes were already glazing over like he'd just taken a hit of his favorite drug, so I knew damn well he was not trying to stop.

"Upstairs. Now." He just looked at me, looking like a lost puppy. "You miss this?"

"Dani?"

I lifted my skirt and showed him what I knew he missed. He licked his lips, but a frown sat on his face. "Either you want it or you don't."

I left my skirt up as I made my way up to his bedroom, and before I could even get all of my clothes off, Tavaris was behind me and laying me on his bed. There was no delay, and he handled getting me naked as well as himself. I just smiled at him and the look of pure lust he had in his eyes. He was my puppet, and he was too simple to even realize it. He laid on top of me, kissing my neck and slowly making his way to my lips, but I turned away from him.

"We're not making love, Tavaris. Sex is all you want. Remember that." His eyes hardened, and I knew he wanted to say something . . . but his thirst kept him quiet.

I laid there and let him have me just the way he wanted to. I let him relive all of the freaky things we use to do and let him test my flexibility to his desire. I worked my body like I knew no one else could, and I gave him the fix he'd clearly been craving.

I reminded him why once before he was so ready to give me his all. He was begging me for more and mercy all at the same time. My sex made his will mine, made him profess his love for me, and made him deaf to that bitch that was calling his name down the hall. My sex had just caused him to fuck up his happy home, and now he would know that shit and never doubt it again.

"I love you," he said winded and for the third time.

"You love what I'm good at, Tavaris," I corrected him.

"Dani, stop and just listen to me." He wouldn't move from my body and started kissing on my neck. My annoyance wanted me to push him off, but my anger was waiting for his bitch to walk in the room. "I never stopped loving you. I'll always regret how I behaved when we first met, but in a way you turned me into a better man. It took me making such a big mistake with our first child for me to realize what I was doing to us—to you . . . I never want to hurt you like that again. I know it takes more than words and feelings of remorse, but I'm more than willing to make this right. I need to make this right."

"How sweet," I told him mockingly. "Get the fuck off me." His woman was taking too long, and he was getting too sappy. "All that foul shit you said to me down stairs and now you're in love with me and want to make things right?"

"Dani—"

"Tavaris, I know you heard me. What happened downstair—" The bitch stopped mid-sentence when she saw Tavaris laying on top of me.

"Fuck—Macy"—he started to say and scrambled off of me to find his clothes.

"Are you serious!" she screeched and gawked at me.

I just laughed and rolled out of the bed to get dress. "You want to tell Macy how in love with me you still are?"

"You scheming slut! He is not in love with you." She started over to me, and Tavaris was in the middle of putting his leg in his second pants' leg but stopped to grab Macy. She pushed him off and slapped him across the face. "Don't you dare touch me!"

"Macy, just listen to me?"

I laughed as he stood there begging her. "Tavaris, you are really pitiful," I told him, knowing the more I talked the angrier they'd both become.

"Dani, be quiet!"

"Why? Just minutes ago, you wanted me as loud as I could be."

"I'll kill you!" Macy charged me again, and I just slipped my shirt on as Tavaris grabbed her. She started hitting him, drawing more laughs from me. "How could you! How could you do this to me and in our bed!"

"Do you love her, Tavaris?" I egged him on.

"Obviously he doesn't love me because he slept with a whore in our bed!"

"Macy, I do love you." He reached for her but dropped his hands and stepped back. I guess he knew not to touch her again.

"Are you sure you love her and not her pussy? I mean you've been in hers for a while now, so you say you love her. The thing is, you just had this, and you said you love me. I'm a bit confused," I prattled.

"Dani, stop it!" he yelled at me, and laughter was my only response.

"Tavaris, how could you?" the bitch said with tears running down her face. Weak was the only way to describe her.

I'd had enough of them for the day, so I just slipped on my shoes and walked out as they began to fuss. I saw the girl standing in her doorway with a hurtful look on her face, and as long as she didn't shed a tear, I didn't worry about correcting her. I just brushed her cheek and kept on walking. She was better off without me. She just didn't know it yet.

Once I was in my car, I let it all hit me. Tavaris proved so many things today. He "loved" me while we were having sex, but the second Macy showed up, all of that was out of the window. Bottom line, shit don't change.

Everything swarming in my head felt like poison now, and I wished to God I'd never met Gordon. Sex was no longer killing the pain like it had for so many years.

I pulled out the bottle of Remy XO I had in my purse and took a long swig of it. I felt dark clouds closing in on me and inhaled hard to calm myself. A painful cough shook my body once the air hit my throat then I wiped the tears that I couldn't keep in. I damn sure wasn't about to let myself blubber and wail, but the tears flowed regardless.

I took another strong swig before reversing out of the bastard's driveway and heading to stock up on more of my own personal Novocain. I was going to be numb to everything in my life once again—like I was before gotdamn Gordon—even if it killed me.

Forty-One : Gordon

I half listened to Deklyne cry about something or another, but most of my attention was on Hayley as she tried to pour herself a bowl of cereal. She was making a mess, but she just had to do it herself since she was a big girl now. When she reached for the milk, I just grabbed it anyway. I knew damn well what the outcome would be if I didn't step in. She whined a little, and both her and Deklyne were about to work my nerve.

"Deklyne, hold on," I told her and set my phone down.

"Daddy, let me do it," Hayley complained and tried to pull the jug from me. She squeezed the sides too hard though and milk shot out before I could get full control of it. "Look what you did," she fussed, folded her arms, and flopped down in her seat.

"Lil' girl, I ain't do that. You can't pour by yourself."

"I do at Mommy's house. Mommy showed me how, but she had a smaller one then this."

"It's _than_ ," I corrected her, but she didn't seem to clue in to what I was talking about. "Your mama had a smaller one than this, not then." She still just sat and pouted. I picked her up and walked over to the counter and leaned over so she'd tilt a bit. "Get the rag, baby girl." Her frown hadn't gone anywhere, but she reached over to get it then I took her back to her mess. "You have to clean it," I told her, holding her over the table. She laughed as gravity tried to pull her down, but I held her easily. "Wipe it up, crazy girl." She did a decent job, but I put her down to finish it myself.

"Daddy?" she called me and smacked a little on her food.

I had already finished putting everything away and was washing my hands when she'd called me. "What's up?"

"You were on the phone."

I frowned, not knowing what she was talking about then I cursed under my breath because I'd forgotten all about Deklyne's dramatic ass. I picked my phone back up, hoping she'd gotten pissed and just hung up. When I saw the call duration time still going, I sighed and put the phone back to my ear.

"My bad. Hayley made a mess and—"

"No I didn't, Daddy," Hayley blurted out, and I just eyed the back of her head. "Gran-Gran said to tell Jesus on you when you lie, but I won't this time," she warned and slurped her cereal.

"Well thank you so much," I said back, and she nodded her head but paid no attention to me. "What was it you were trying to tell me about?" I asked Deklyne, hopping on the island that sat only a few feet away from Hayley.

"You sure you can focus on me now?"

I heard the attitude in her voice, but I knew the call would end faster if I just ignored her shit. "Focused and ready. Talk to me."

She sighed like she was putting away her annoyance to concentrate on whatever was bringing her down. "It's just Maurice is at it again."

Every time she called me, she'd bring that name up and cry about some shit he'd done. I've been trying to be patient with her, but the girl was being stupid. I really couldn't understand why she was letting what he did get to her so bad. The other day she was crying so hard she could barely breathe. She ain't calm down until I told her I'd come get her and bring her here. I had to take care of her and Hayley that day, and that shit was rough. I wanted to keep Hayley away from it all, but once again my weak ass couldn't handle her crying.

"What else is new?" I told her offhandedly. She just sucked her teeth, and I knew I had to play nice to keep her from overreacting. "I don't want you thinking about him," I said sympathetically, but I really meant it as not thinking about it also implied not crying to me about it either. I didn't want to be an asshole, but dealing with her was tiring.

"I'm trying not to think about him."

"Good," I softly responded, waiting on her to end the call. She'd yap about it if I tried to rush her off.

So many times I questioned why I just wouldn't throw the deuces up to this girl, but then I would picture her breaking down, and my heart just couldn't take that. I blame my mama and my aunts for this damn kneejerk reaction to always want to assist females with their problems.

"I'm trying to focus on the good, you know, my silver lining."

"I hear you." I jumped from the counter when Hayley tried to put her bowl in the sink.

"Daddy, let me do it," she fussed and pulled the bowl back from me. Some milk was still left in the bowl, so it bumbled to the floor when she tugged the bowl.

"Look at you," I lightly scolded her and grabbed for a paper towel. She tried to put the bowl in the sink again, and I blocked her bowl's path to the sink with my hand. "You better drink it," I playfully fussed at her, and she tried to push my arm out of the way.

She was still too short for the sink though, and she almost spilled the milk on her head.

"Girl, stop." I grabbed the bowl and put it to her lips and started angling the bowl to make the milk rush at her.

She mumbled her fusses but drank as much of the milk as she could. I laughed when some dripped on her shirt and she screamed. Once she frowned up at me I knew she was pissed though.

"You were pouring too fast!" she grouched and pushed my legs. I just kept laughing as she inspected her shirt. "I'm mad at you," she grumbled, and I washed the bowl out with the one free hand I had then picked her up to take her to change.

"Is this a bad time?" Deklyne complained over the line, and I just sighed. "Because you know—" She was cut off by my doorbell, and I paused on the steps to look at the door. "I'm already here."

"The fuc—" I cut myself off and looked at Hayley, but I was heated that Deklyne wouldn't stop popping her ass up at my door. "When did I invite you over here?"

"You've been inviting me. I just figured you didn't mind having me over."

"When I invite your ass," I huffed, and Hayley pushed my head causing me to eye her.

"Mommy said that's a bad word, so you can't say it."

I just let that go and made my way over to the door. "Deklyne, you—"

"Can you please open the door?" I hung up and snatched the door open. Deklyne was about to just stroll in until her eyes landed on Hayley. She smiled and stroked a finger down Hayley's face. "Hey Le-Le," she said over enthusiastically, and I knew it would annoy Hayley. She was on this "I'm a big girl," kick and hated when anybody treated her otherwise.

Like I thought, Hayley just rolled her eyes and laid her head on my shoulder. Deklyne frowned and backed up, and I thought it was funny.

"Don't be pouting," I teased her, and she maneuvered her way in while giving me a peck my cheek.

"I thought we could go out today," she shakily suggested, still eying Hayley and closing the door behind her. "I doubt she'd like that, huh?"

"She'll be alright," I assured her. I wasn't in the mood to argue Deklyne down about leaving while I had Hayley, so we all ended up in Hayley's room. I playfully dropped her on her bed and she giggled before scurrying to the foot of it to watch me as I pulled out different shirts for her to put on.

"It has to be black to match my shoes," she instructed me, sounding just like her damn mama.

"And just who told you your shirt has to match your shoes?" I griped, knowing full well Val was trying to teach her early to value material things.

"Mommy."

I just hummed in disgust, and Deklyne came over to rub my shoulders. "You have a daughter, Gordon. We like to primp and dress fancy," she said with a laugh.

"Whatever," I brushed it all off and walked over to Hayley with the right shirt, finally. "Arms up," I told her, and she shot them high in the air making it easier for me to switch her shirts. "What you want to do now?"

"The Lion King," she squeaked and jumped on her bed.

I cussed under my breath. That was my movie when I was a kid, but Hayley watched it nonstop. Rafiki, Simba, and Zazu's songs were popping in my head too often for me to be a grown ass man, I thought. "Let's go." I turned to walk out, but Hayley called me and threw her hands up. On reaction I picked her up, and Deklyne followed us back to the living room.

"So is this what we're going to do all day?" Deklyne asked me.

I just flopped on the couch after cutting on the movie and letting Hayley pick her spot. "Yep," I finally said.

She came over to me and flopped on my lap, and I just looked at her. "Cool." After I kept just looking at her she pecked my lips. "Popcorn would be nice." I squinted at her, and she smiled. "Hayley, wouldn't you like some popcorn?"

"With butter, please?" Hayley asked me as if she just knew I was about to go get it.

I huffed and pushed Deklyne off, and she just laughed. Once I was in the kitchen, I pulled a small bowl down for Hayley and a bigger bowl for me and Deklyne. Just then I thought about what I was doing and shook my head. Deklyne was getting too comfortable, and I was allowing it. Trying to kick her out would be a war, I knew, and Hayley didn't need to witness any of it. I just did the only other thing I could think of and called Neila.

"How may I help you?"

I just smiled at her automated greeting. "Yes, this is N. Heart Incorporated customer service, correct?" I teased her.

"Gordon, what is it? I'm at work," she lightly reprimanded me, and I chuckled.

"I need you to do me a favor," I said as I grabbed a bag of popcorn from the package.

"That would be?"

"Get Deklyne out of my house." She didn't answer me right away. In fact I had to call her name twice before she asked me to repeat myself and accurately specify my request. "Deklyne is here, but I don't think it's a good idea for her to be here," I tried to explain.

"And you can't tell her this because?" she asked and waited for my response, but I gave her none. "Gordon, you can't be serious."

"You know how she gets when she doesn't get her way."

"What does that mean, when it comes to you she's allowed to do whatever she wants because you don't want to deal with her?" she fussed at me and made me feel like an idiot in the process.

"No," I said, getting a little defensive. "I'm trying to get her out."

"Correction, you want me to get her out." I just sighed and tossed the popcorn in the microwave. "Gordon, you really need to man up and handle this situation."

"Don't start that shit again," I warned her. I don't know how she thought me asking for a favor equated to me not being a man. "Manning up has nothing to do with this."

"You want me to handle your dirty work. If you don't want her there, tell her."

"That would lead to an argument, and I don't want Hayley to see or hear a Deklyne tantrum," I argued back with her. "It's not like I'm scared to tell her. I just want to find the best way to get her out of here with as little irritation to Hayley as possible."

"Okay, I can honestly understand that, but I can't tell Deklyne to leave your house. I'm not her commander."

"You could come up with something if you wanted to," I accused her.

"Well, Gordon," her tone let me know I'd ticked her off a little, and I almost laughed. "There is nothing I can do. I'm not in the habit of lying to people to help someone else out."

"What about lying about having a man so Luke wouldn't look dirty to his woman?"

"I beg your pardon? That was completely different."

"How so?"

"I'm not doing it, Gordon. That's final."

"Fine," I fussed, but I had a smile on my face. I knew she couldn't tell though.

"Well . . . fine," she stammered, clearly not knowing what to say back to me. "Figure it out yourself. Bye." She hung up in my face, and I just laughed until I remembered I had to think up something else to get Deklyne out.

When I came back to the living room with the goods, I noticed Hayley bopping along with the music and Deklyne was stretched out on the couch. I handed Hayley her small bowl, and Deklyne sat up and made room for me, but then she was all up under me when I sat down.

I set the second bowl I made in my lap, and idiotically, I let her wrap my arm around her. I could have pulled my arm back when I realized what she was doing, but I just let it happen, and she just smiled at me before snuggling closer to me.

A few minutes later she snapped a picture of us on her phone and sent it to somebody. I thought about asking her about it, but she told me one of her friends would never believe she sat down to watch The Lion King today, so she needed to tweet. She laughed about it, so I just ignored the whole thing. Seconds later she got a text, and her face twisted up after she read it.

"What's wrong?" I asked her out of curiosity.

"Neila just sent me like eighty-five thousand texts," she complained.

I raised an eyebrow, a bit shocked and feeling a bit like the guilty party. "What it say?"

"Need you to go buy a Cornish Hen, a sack of potatoes, broccoli, a low sodium ham, a high sodium ham, elbow noodles, four blocks of American yellow cheese, cake flour, granulated sugar, butter, unsweetened cocoa powder, vanilla, red food dye, baking soda, baking powder, half a-dozen eggs, butter milk, white distilled vinegar, cream cheese, and some powdered sugar. And make sure we have some salt." She looked at me for sympathy after rattling off the long list.

"What a shame that she sent that now, huh?" I said, with as much sympathy as I could, but I just couldn't pull it off. "Well, guess you better get that knocked out."

"Does she think that I don't I have a life so I can just run her errands whenever she says or something?" she whined.

"But she's always the one cooking. Don't you think you could pick up the groceries every once in a while?"

"But we were having such a good time."

I shook my head to pretend to agree with her disappointment then I jumped up and helped her off the couch. "A shame it is." I looked at Hayley, and she didn't seem to have a care in the world.

"I don't even like Cornish Hens."

"Well pick out what you like," I said, walking her to the door.

"I really wanted to spend time with you today."

I just shrugged, not willing to lie about wanting to spend time with her too. We said our goodbyes, and she tried to make the hug last longer than need be, but I moved her back before finally getting her out of my house. I finally went back to watch the movie with Hayley and pulled my phone out when it buzzed with a text message.

**Neila Heart** 1:26PM

Are you happy now?

I just smiled and text back.

_318-813-7887_ : 1:26PM

What you cooking?

**Neila Heart** 1:27PM

_Wasn't it obvious? Cornish Hen, ham, mash potatoes, mac and cheese, broccoli, and red velvet cake_.

_318-813-7887_ : 1:27PM

Damn you cooking all that for me baby?

**Neila Heart** 1:28PM

You do realize I'm working, don't you Gordon?

I laughed before sending my last text.

_318-813-7887_ : 1:28PM

: ) Have a good day baby

I finally put my phone up and finished watching the movie with Hayley, singing along with her and everything.

Forty-Two : Neila

I'd finally rested myself on my bed, and right before I could relax, the doorbell rang out. I groaned and waited for the fourth and fifth buzz before I finally got up and made my way down. I didn't even bother to look through the peephole and just pulled the door open. That's when I was greeted by Gordon's back and a pouting Hayley halfway down my driveway.

"She's not home, baby girl. I'm sorry."

"Daddy?" she whined with her arms folded and stomping her foot.

"Lil' girl, don't throw a tantrum out here. If she's not here, what can I do?"

"Might I ask who you're looking for?" I made them aware of my presence as I leaned against the door frame.

Hayley whipped around and sprinted to me, wrapping my legs in a tight hug the moment she made it to me. "Neila!" she screamed, angling her little head up to me.

"Well hello to you too, love," I said to her as I lowered myself to give her a proper hug. "I didn't expect you to be this happy to see me."

"Daddy won't stop trying to poison me," she sniveled, and I thought it was funny how she could go from one emotion to the next one on cue.

"I'm not poisoning you, girl." Gordon said, obviously bothered by Hayley's dramatics. He stood behind her, and once we made eye contact, he rolled his eyes but smiled.

"Yes he is, Neila. He wants me to eat bologna and beans," she continued to groan.

"It was fried bologna sandwiches with pork and beans on the side," he corrected her and had the never to think what he said was any better.

"Gordon, why are you torturing this poor child?" I patted and rubbed her back, now feeling for the child completely.

"That's a good dinner, Neila, and you know it," he attempted to tell me with upraised eyebrows.

"Can I have some of your food, Neila?" Hayley groveled before I could say what I felt to Gordon.

"Aww, love."

I was so tired, and before they popped up, I was going to take a nap. Deklyne was with Cris. Terri, of all people, was out with a nice guy named Brentin. I was finally about to have the house and night to myself. This Saturday night was going to be a night to rival all others I've ever had, but I just couldn't bring myself to tell the little one no.

"Okay," I finally said and smiled at her. "You and Daddy come on in, and I'll fix us something to eat."

She squealed in delight, causing both Gordon and myself to laugh at her. She rushed inside, taking no time to make herself comfortable. A few times Gordon had to remind her about her manners, but I wasn't bothered in the least by her antics. It actually helped pass the time as I cooked the baked chicken wings, broth and rice, and steamed broccoli and cheese. By the time I was done, Hayley had definitely worked up an appetite, and Gordon welcomed the calming affect the food had on her.

We all sat at the table, eating and listening to Hayley tell us about everything she'd encountered since being here. Her bubbly personality was so contagious that I'd forgotten all about the rest I thought I so badly needed. It was just so refreshing to be around someone with such a brightness about them.

Notwithstanding adoring the light she brought to this room, there was still a nagging feeling that came along with being in her presence and witnessing the bond she shared with Gordon. Their little inside jokes, his ability to pick up on her thought process, the light she had in her eyes when she looked at her father, it all started to bring me back to when I was a small child and I once had a deep curiosity about such sentiments.

As it should have been, I learned to put those childish things away a long time ago; however, being with the two of them admittedly was a bit confusing for me. There was a certain warmth to the atmosphere caused by Hayley's laughter bouncing off the walls, which was an experience I never grew up with. I was lucky enough to learn order and focus as a child. There was no time wasted on games and laughing at trivial jokes because there were responsibilities that needed tending to.

Perhaps Gordon thought responsibilities at her age would overwhelm her, but when did he think Hayley should learn to take initiative? How was she ever going to learn to take care of herself and the ones who would come to depend on her as long as Gordon sugarcoated the world for her?

My mother was a special kind of woman who unfortunately thought the world and what it expected was all that mattered; nevertheless, she did make it very clear that I had to know how to take care of myself. I could not look to someone else. That one lesson set me up for all the success that I'd gained in my life.

As I sat watching Gordon and Hayley, I couldn't help but think that he was hindering her. She watched him as if her everything rested squarely on his shoulders. That look would have never been in her eyes had she been reared by my mother.

Oddly enough, that very thought made me question if I'd had that same look would that have tempered my childhood or maybe even my memories.

"Dani, what did you make tonight?" Mama asked Dani, but Dani didn't answer.

She just fixed herself a plate of the spaghetti I'd just made and sat at the table. I hated when she ignored Mama because something bad always happened. I tried to mentally tell her that, but she just closed her eyes and inhaled the scent of the food.

"I need that money!" Mama yelled and clapped her hands, but Dani just picked up a noodle and sucked it into her mouth. "Stop playing with me! I'm not paying no late fees," she fussed now showing even more anger and dragging Dani up and into the back. I just put my focus back on my homework.

"Why does Dani give her the money? That bitch knows Dani is trying to save money for us, that's why she always takes it. Dani shouldn't give it to her."

"Finish your work."

"She shouldn't waste all her money on alcohol. Now she's just jealous because Dani is better at her own game, but Dani shouldn't let her take the money."

"Deklyne?"

"She's the one always telling Dani she has to make money for herself because she's too old to be letting her mama take care of her, but she turns around and takes Dani's money because she spends hers all on stupidness."

"Just do your work, Deklyne," I told her not bothering to look up anymore.

I didn't want my concentration to break because I couldn't handle hearing Dani scream another night. Luckily she walked out of the room only seconds later with a smile, but her expression still looked dead.

"Well ladies, I have a date in a few minutes. So you three finish that school work." She bent down to hug and kiss both me and Terri, but Deklyne rushed to her room and came back dressed to leave the house. "And what are you doing?" Dani questioned her, and smiled. This smile seemed more genuine than her first one as she scanned over Deklyne's tomboy attire. "Go get something out of my closet because those are not party clothes, baby girl. You should have told me you were going out. I would have—"

"I'm going with you."

Dani's smile dropped instantly, but everyone's attention went to Mama when she started laughing. "Sit your ass down. What the fuck have I been telling your pasty, white ass?"

Dani laughed, but she wasn't laughing at Deklyne. She was just laughing. It was what she always did, but she did go over to Deklyne and hug her and say something that Deklyne nodded at. Mama just went marching up to them and pushed Deklyne back, but Dani stood in front of her so Mama couldn't hit her more.

"You ain't shit, Deklyne! That's why I don't waste my time with you!"

Dani laughed again, but it didn't sound real. Then she said something that only they heard and only she giggle at. Mama tried to push her to the side and reach for Deklyne, but Dani blocked her and walked Deklyne over to the couch before dancing to the door.

"Bye ladies." She waved with both hands. "Deklyne remember, don't try this at home." She did a dirty dance and laughed.

"Always the protector, huh?" Mama asked her with resentment, and Dani danced a little more.

"Mama, what would we ever do without you?" she asked and laughed one final time before she opened the door.

"Dani!" I yelled for her, unable to just watch her walk out the door to do only God knew what. For a long second everyone just stared at me, and I felt a little out of sorts. "Uhh . . . be carefu . . . You have a Chem test next week. You uhh . . . You can't let your grades slip if you want to get that acceptance letter."

She smirked at me, probably still thinking I'd one day let up about her trying to get into college. I didn't want this life for her though, for any of us. With the small nod she gave me before leaving I knew she understood at least that part of my nagging her.

The second the door close, I could feel the room become heavier. Her presence always did that, but Dani was the only one of us who could even attempt to take her on for some reason. I always admired that about Dani.

Finally, mama walked over to the coffee table and grabbed the bills that I'd been watching collect dust for the past two weeks. "Time to earn your keep, Miss Brainy," she said the term as if she was mocking me. "That shit better add up, and I better have some spending money left over," she told me as she slapped the bills and an envelope full of money in front of me. "And don't forget tomorrow to go to the grocery store. You're taking the bus because Dani's going to be busy after school. That bitch thinks she's hot shit because she has some wet behind the ears sucker milking his daddy's bank account for her."

I said nothing to her hoping she'd hurry back to her room.

"At least she's doing something with herself, though. That won't get in the way of her acceptance letter, will it?" The sarcasm was heavy in her tone, but I just ignored it.

I got up and placed everything in a pile on the counter, and I took longer than necessary to straighten the pile because I could feel her eyes on me. Interactions with her were never pleasant, and avoidance was the only weapon I had against her behavior.

"You better be glad you have me as your mama," she said as I heard her close my text book before dropping it on the floor. "If you just had your daddy's genes you'd be just as dumb as he is. He never even got pass the tenth grade. He never held a legal job for more than a week and spent most of his life in the gutter trying to pull his self out." She chuckled lightly, and I cringed because I hated when she brought up my father.

"I'll make sure everything is taken care of."

"He ain't nothing but a pitiful ass nigga. You know what he told me when I was pregnant with you? He told me you were my problem, and he wasn't about to pay for my mistake. That's what your daddy said about you. You think—"

"I'll have to buy Terri a new coat with some of the money, but it shouldn't cost that much. Did you have anything in particular you'd want for dinner tomorrow?" I finally turned to her, but I was only able to look at her for a few seconds.

She didn't say anything for a short while, but I knew she wasn't done with me. "I'm going to be in Chicago for the next three days," she finally said, and her tone was one that was thinking of how next she could put me in my place. "When I get back this house better be spotless." She chuckled softly, obviously not ready to let up her assault. "And the food better be on the table. You hear me, Florence?"

I still said nothing to her remarks. I just started cleaning more around the kitchen, silently reciting the mission statements I would probably be quizzed on tomorrow.

"Let me teach you something, Neila. This little stuck up attitude is what's going to drive people away from you, especially men. Your dry ass personality, always throwing how smart you are in people's faces. You ain't the only smart bitch out there!" she screamed, and I just continued to clean. "Yeah, clean that shit up!"

"I will seek to learn, for learning is the basis for growth, and growing is the key to living," I began repeating to myself my favorite part of the mission statement I'd decided to work on.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

I did as she told me to, but there was a short stare down between the two of us. Of course she won, but I could feel an anger begin to burn in me that I'd never felt before.

"That's all you can offer anybody, a hot meal and a clean got damn counter. Stupid ass." She grabbed her bottle before eying me again then she finally slunk back into her room.

I did what was needed to put everything out of my mind that was of no use before putting away the leftovers and washing the dishes. It wasn't until I returned to my books that I finally noticed Deklyne still sitting on the couch.

"Deklyne come finish your homework."

She sluggishly stood up and made her way over. "I'm done with mine. That's Dani's."

At first I was angry that Deklyne was doing Dani's work, but then I remembered Dani never really had any time to do it herself. It was easy enough to make a mental note that the next time I had a moment with Dani I would quiz her about the things she was supposed to be learning.

Deklyne still looked down though, and I knew it would be awhile before she smiled about anything. I decided to go cut her a slice of the red velvet cake I'd baked and hid in my room because Mama told me not to make it. The only reason she didn't want me to do it was because I said I was doing it for Deklyne's birthday, so I did it anyway. When I came back out with the piece, Deklyne only gave a small smile, but it was better than nothing. I just smiled at her as she ate and finished Dani's work.

"Neila, you cook way better than Daddy." Hayley chimed into my thoughts as she used both hands and her napkin to wipe her mouth, and I just beamed at her. "Mommy can't cook, neither. I only eat at Gran-Gran's house, but she's in Miami."

"Well, as long as you get fed, that's all that matters," I told her grabbing her plate as well as Gordon's.

"Naw, baby," Gordon said and stopped me by touching my arm. He lifted the plates from me and started walking to the sink. "Go 'head and relax in the living room. I got this."

"You don't know where I like my things, sir."

"Well unless you like your trash in the sink and your dishes in the trash, I think I can handle it."

I gave him a side-eye, but I didn't let his sarcasm bother me too much. "Come on, love." I grabbed Hayley's hand and led her into the living room. "So what do you want to do now?" I asked her once we were strewn about the couches.

"Let's watch a movie."

I leaned forward to grab the remote from the coffee table and let out a loud sigh as I felt too heavy to move. "What movie would you like to watch?" I turned to my On Demand and began to scroll through Family Movies. Once she saw The Princess and the Frog, she did her little squeal, and I knew she'd found her movie. "Well, let the show begin."

Gordon didn't end up joining us until Prince Naveen had finished his grand entrance and was dancing in the street. He watched Hayley for a second, then he grabbed a pillow before lifting my head so he could sit by the arm rest and lay my head in his lap and on the pillow.

For a good portion of the movie, we all just enjoyed the movie. It wasn't until I'd almost fallen asleep in Gordon's lap and I heard him chuckling that things started to get a bit rough.

"Are you sleepy, baby?"

I tried to ignore my irritation from him disturbing me, but I couldn't. I was very tired, and I did not need him laughing at me for it. Even though I was enjoying their company, I was just about ready to call it a night. Once I began to raise myself and suggest on his departure, he stopped me and laid me back down.

"Do you mind taking your hands off of me, Gordon?" I asked him after the shock wore off of having him push me back into his lap.

"You were comfortable enough to fall asleep before. Just relax so we can watch the movie."

Once again, I attempted to rise, and again, I was stopped. "Hayley's asleep over there, too." I tried to use his sleeping beauty against him. "Don't you think this might be a good time to take her home to bed?"

He smiled and looked at her then he had the nerve to grab my hand and interlaced our fingers. "If I wake her up before the movie is over and she sees it's not over, she'll make us start it from the beginning."

"Well why don't you just gently carry her to your car? She'll probably be home before she stirs awake."

"Are you trying to get rid of us, Neila?"

"No," I answered him quickly, and he chuckled because of it. "No, Gordon. I just feel like the worst host for falling asleep on you instead of entertaining you."

"Baby, calm down. I'm actually enjoying myself. Hayley was having a fit until you opened that door then you couldn't scrub the smile off of her face, so I know she had a good time. You're a very gracious host, especially doing this on such short notice." He paused but only for a second or so. "Honestly, tonight was exactly what I needed, and it's definitely appreciated."

I caught myself wanting to smile a bit. I couldn't remember the last time I'd heard someone say they appreciated anything that I did. Actually, I could. He was the last person to tell me thank for anything. "Well . . ." I could no longer find the words I wanted to say at that moment.

"Truly, baby." He brought my hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. "You might be making both me and Hayley a bit too comfortable with the meals, though."

I turned my head and finally faced him. "What do you mean?"

He smiled that gorgeous smile of his, and I couldn't help but finally smile up at him. There was something so pure about his smile, and just like that, I was no longer thinking about kicking him out.

"I've always pictured this as my life. I'd come home from work to my wife cooking and my kids running around." He chuckled, but I frowned instantly at his chauvinistic attitude.

Of course every man dreamed of having his women bent over a stove, barefoot, and pregnant.

"So you picture your life with a servant who pops kids out, raises your kids, feeds you, and hops in your bed whenever you want it?"

"What?" He paused for a second then shook his head and put his attention back on the movie for a while.

"Gordon, I asked you a question." I snatched my hand from him and sat up. One thing I hated more than anything was a man trying to control a woman and trying to force her into his perfect little fantasy of what a woman should be. "You want a robot, Gordon? You want some thing you can control? You don't care at all what she wants, do you? She's just a thing there to fulfill all your wants and desires."

He merely gave me a lifeless stare for the longest, and I was absolutely ready to let him have it. "Did I say any of that shit, Neila?"

"Yes!" After my outburst, I looked over to Hayley and saw she was still resting, but I lowered my voice anyway. "Yes, you did. I know how to read between the lines."

"Will you please lay back down?" he asked me with a straight face.

He didn't even understand how badly he was ticking me off with his nonchalant attitude. Men always ignore this issue and treat it as if women are only overreacting to the ridiculousness they say. Sometimes a big reaction is called for because people too often choose to ignore things until it's too late, like when you're bent over a stove to please him instead doing what's pleasing to you.

"No I will not lay back down. Why does your dream consist of a woman waiting on you hand and foot?"

"I never once said that. I just said I want her to cook for me. Shit, I can't cook. One of us should know how to do it. I've been there before, which is why my daughter hates having dinner at her parents' houses."

"So now you want to blame this chauvinistic thinking on Hayley?"

"I'm not being a chauvinist."

"Then why can't you learn to cook for your daughter?"

He took a moment to continue his blank staring. "Shit, it's a woman's place to cook for her man," he finally said, and my eyes grew wide. "That's where her ass needs to be, in the house, cooking and cleaning in that bitch."

"I cannot believe you!"

"Neila, come on?" he said and smiled at me.

"What am I saying? I can totally believe you'd say something like that."

"Calm your ass down before you wake Hayley up."

"Do not talk to me like that," I chided him.

"Damn, baby. You really are taking my comment too serious."

"You told me my place was—"

"I was only joking about that. I'm talking about me wanting my wife, not my girlfriend, to cook for me. I'm not making a statement where I think all women need to be in the kitchen cooking. I never said it was a requirement in order for me to wife up the woman. It's just a nice little picture in my head." He chuckled again and scratched the back of his head. "That doesn't even work anyway because it ain't like I got a nine to five to come home from."

"So you want her to work while you're at home, come home and then cook for you?"

"Woman, please be quiet and lay down. You clearly need rest."

"I do not need rest," I fussed, knowing he was right. "You need to understand women are out here working and they don't have time to cater to an immature man's fantasy."

"Cool. That shit is noted."

"Gordon, I am very serious, and I don't think you understand the severity of the way you think." I folded my knees under me to sit on them and turned on the couch to completely face him. "You have a daughter to think about, Gordon." I pointed to her, causing him to watch her for a few seconds. "Do you sincerely want your little girl waiting on some man solely because he wants her to and because it's the way he pictured his life, heedless of how she feels?"

I saw a frown take residence on his face, and I felt my words finally getting to him. "No, I don't want that," he said lowly. It was obvious he was having a difficult time coming to the conclusion that he was wrong for his chauvinistic attitude.

"Exactly. Now in spite of that not being your wishes, that's precisely what you're going to teach your daughter. It's her responsibility to come home and cook for her man."

He shook his head and rubbed his neck. "I'm not teaching her that. You're really blowing this thing up because it's not even that serious."

"It's not serious to you only because it won't affect your life and the way you think. No one is telling you that it is your duty—as a woman—to cater to me—a man."

"I never said it was a duty. Look, can we not have an argument about this?"

"Do not dismiss me, Gordon. Perhaps if you actually took a juncture to listen to an adverse perspective, things could get resolved and not fester into a portentous fracas."

"Say what?"

His simpleness was mind boggling, and I really had to take a second to calm down to collect myself. "Women," I slowly started out for him and placed my hands on my chest to indicate that I was a woman, "are not meant to come home from work," I waved my clasped hands in a semicircle to indicate moving from one place to another, "only to cook for their men and to please them."

His frown deepened before he said, "Neila, you come home, and you cook for your grown ass sisters damn near every day."

"That is completely different." I frowned, not understanding how he could even compare the two situations.

"How?"

"First of all, I'm not doing it to please them. Those are my sisters. They're my family."

"And me and my child will be my wife's family."

"No, I grew up with them. I've always been the one taking care of things. That's who I choose to be. You can't just up and decide to tell your wife to start cooking for you because that's how you picture your life and your wife. You said it yourself, your girlfriend doesn't have to, but your wife is the one that's going to cook for you. If she's not cooking in the relationship before marriage, why change? You should involve yourself with a female who cooks for her family."

"Fine, how about this? If I get a woman who cooks for me, great. If I don't get a woman who cooks, Hayley and I will be over here every night. Does that sound good?"

I gave him a side-eye, and he leaned over and kissed my forehead. "That's not funny, Gordon."

"Neither is your attitude, but this movie is pretty funny. How about you chillax so we can finish watching it together?"

"You chillax, Gordon," I fussed. He only shook his head at me before he angled his body and pulled most of his left leg onto the couch. Then he grabbed me and laid my back on his chest. "What are you doing?"

"Stop fussing about every gotdamn thing," he chastised me and moved me again, this time to my side. He tried to place my hand on his chest, but I pulled it back and tried to get up. "Be still, woman," he demanded and gripped my arms.

"Take your hands off of me," I argued.

The moment I was about to get myself free from him, he stood up and picked me up. I let out a small screech as he swung me around and laid me on my back then he moved to lay between my legs with his head partly on my shoulder and chest.

"Gordon—"

"Quiet," he ordered. "I'm trying to finish the movie."

"I would like you to remove yourself from me."

"Stop talking and scratch my back."

"What?" I couldn't believe how he was acting now. Telling me what to do in order to cater to what he wanted. We were just having an argument about this same thing. "No," I protested.

"You pissing me off, so scratch my back," he said as if I was now obligated to obey him.

I just narrowed my eyes down at him as an idea popped into my head. "As you wish, Your Majesty." I dug my nails into his back and only raked them a quarter of his back before he was jumping up. "Was that not to your liking, sire?" I asked as I stared up at him.

He just frowned and nudged me back down when I tried to get up. "Your crazy ass," he grumbled once he was back in his preferred position.

"I would like you off of me."

"I would like you to shut up."

"Gordon," I fussed, but he only annoyed me more by not responding. "Gordon, this is ridiculous." I tried to push him off, but he was too heavy. I wiggled again in silence then huffed when I couldn't get free. "You're being an immature . . . butthead right now, Gordon. You come over here to get me to cook, insist that I scratch your back, throw me under you," I ranted. "This is certainly—Gordon?" I cut myself short to make sure he was listening, but again he said not a word. He didn't even move. "You really make me sick, you know that?" I let out one last huff before relaxing my body that had long been stiff.

Nothing else came from my mouth, and I truly had no idea how to respond to what was going on. Just moments ago, I was practically ready for World War III as riled up as I was. Then I was so annoyed that just the sight of him was becoming too much. Now I'm at a place where . . . I was actually glad he'd ignored me. I had to admit I was tired of the back and forth. I just let out another sigh as I gave into the idea of letting things go. Then I felt myself lightly rubbing the spot I'd just clawed before smoothly dragging my fingers across his back. I heard him chuckle, but I no longer cared.

Forty-Three : Deklyne

Gordon had some nerve. That bastard told me he couldn't take me out the other night because he had to work, but to my surprise his ass was all hugged up and sleeping with Neila on the sofa. Did he think I was some kind of idiot?

He was the idiot!

I live in the same damn house. How did he think he was going to keep that a secret? Then he had the nerve to lie and say Hayley was bitching and wanted Neila to cook for her. I could call bullshit when I saw it, and Neila and Gordon were both full of it.

Since the first time she said she was taking food over for Hayley, I knew Neila had to be up to something with that little brat. That had to be her ticket into Gordon's bed. She was always good at playing "mommy" so why not use the little shit in her scheme? I had to admit that was a smart move on Neila's part, though. Hayley had been blocking me since before she was even here, and now Neila was using her to up me in this bet.

That, however, was just unacceptable. Little Hayley had to go. It was that simple, back to Miami, back to whoever her mama was. Hell, I wouldn't have cared if it was the dumpster. I just wanted her out of here. I was not about to miss out on Milan because Neila knew how to quiet the brat down with a nice pasta meal.

Coming up with an idea to get Hayley out of the way wasn't as hard as I thought it would be either. Honestly, I couldn't take sole credit for the idea. If her mother wasn't such a gold-digging, slut monkey, I probably would have never thought of this. Thinking about how it all came about, I couldn't help but laugh as I drove over to Gordon's and it replayed in my head.

I crept like five miles per hour towards Gordon's house but stopped just before it because of the woman I saw on his porch. From her dress, I knew it had to be Dani. God! If it wasn't one of them drooling over this asshole, it was the other.

I thought Dani would have taken my hints by now, but I guess the bitch wanted more humiliation. I made a point to park a house over and made sure to keep my steps quiet as I came up behind her.

She was on her phone by the time I reached her, and I figured she was leaving a few choice words for Gordon on his voicemail. I guess with her whore behavior she wasn't use to this much rejection. 'Poor baby,' I thought to myself with a smirk on my face.

The closer I got to her though, she started to look bigger than what I knew she was. I'm not talking bigger tits and booty, either. This girl was an actual heifer. She had to at least be a size twelve. My face twisted up on reaction. Not only was she fat, she was as dark as Terri. There was no way I would believe Gordon was even remotely attracted to her? Of course that would explain her ass being shunned on the other side of his door.

"It's not that serious," she said in annoyance.

I didn't know who the hell she was, and I was just about to question her, but something told me to hold on.

"Well, he hasn't been taking any of my calls, or returning texts, or emails. He's reduced me to taking a dozen long ass road trips just to hold a conversation with him. How am I going to get him to move back to Miami with me?" she grumbled and waited for whoever was on the line to speak. "No. Don't even joke about that? Hayley wants to be with him. She adores that man, and I would never come between them." I heard her voice shake a little as if what she was talking about was some shit to cry about. "If he doesn't want to move back with me and wants to move on, that's fine. I'm not about to use Hayley to manipulate him, and I'm not taking Hayley away from her father, point blank. And I damn sure wouldn't do that just because I want Gordon back with me in Miami." She paused again to listen. "Well as long as he doesn't get a DNA test, he is her father. Why would you even bring that shit up?"

I tuned out her conversation for a minute as I laughed to myself. Did this bitch just say Hayley isn't even Gordon's? He was an even bigger idiot than I had been giving him credit for.

"Fine. Listen, I need you to talk to Gordon, though. He listens to you. I'm not going to beg him to come back, but I need you to get him to at least think about it. Can you do that for me?"

"Excuse me?" I finally made my presence known and walked fully onto Gordon's porch. "And you would be?" I asked her with a full smile on my face.

She must have read the cattiness I can admit I was feeling, but it wasn't due to what she probably thought. "You don't need to know who the fuck I am," she said in the same manner that I spoke to her. "Dani." The way she said the name was as if she thought she knew who I was and felt she had something over me. I didn't bother to correct her ass, though. "I guess you're upset now because you know I'm going to get Gordon to come back home? Well get over it. Gordon is coming back to where he belongs."

I just laughed at her. "You think begging your friend to beg Gordon to come back is going to get you what you want?" I asked her, and the squint in her eyes gave away the irritation my question caused her.

"Don't come up on the end of a bitch's conversation and think you figured some shit out, that's number one. And two, I always get what I want when it comes to Gordon."

"I'm sure," I said, laughing at her again. "I can guarantee he's not even thinking about you. He hasn't mention you or moving back to Miami in all of the time we've been together."

"Believe what you want. I don't have time for your ass." She walked passed me and let her shoulder bump me. "Gordon knows his family is more important than any side-ho he meets on the job. I'm sure you're just another thirsty ho, looking for a handout."

"You don't know anything about me," I said to her back as she made her way to her car. "And your little family? You really think Gordon is going to continue to care about that ugly ass, little tar baby once she grows up to act just like you?"

She spun on her heels, and I just laughed as she marched up to me. I was about to hurt her feelings more, but the bitch punched me then grabbed my hair and threw me on the floor. I scratched at her face and tried to punch her, but she was beating on my face like some fucking animal. Clearly she had the advantage and the size, but I was still a scrappy fighter.

I waited for my opening and kicked her. She cussed at me for my heel scratching her arm, but I knew she was more stunned by the power I put behind it. She stood up to yell at me some more, and I charged her and took her to the ground. All that I wanted to do just then was make her pay, to bash her head into the ground until there was nothing left of her skull but fragments. Somebody had to teach this bitch never to cross me.

I stood above her and gave it back to her just like she had gave it to me. Funny how the bitch wasn't talking shit anymore, but she still managed to grab my hair and flip me off of her. I knew if I didn't grab hers back she'd be able to take full control. Still she did get a few more hits in before getting up. When she pulled away from me, I still had a first full of her weave though.

"Stupid bitch!" she screamed and ran her hand through her hair, probably checking to feel the damage.

I glared at her, actually trying to calm myself for her own good. There was a nice size marble stone nearby that would cause a lovely life threatening dent in her face. "You better be thankful, slut."

"Dumb bitch," she growled again, still playing with her hair. "Gordon don't play about his daughter. Once he finds out what you said about her, see don't he finish the ass whooping I just started."

"Have a good day, bitch." As pissed off as I wanted to be, I couldn't help but laugh. She thought I was Dani, so that's who she was going to blame this on. I'd just finished Dani off, even though I didn't need to and wasn't even trying.

The second I was in my room I was looking up ways I could get a DNA test done on the brat. Simple mathematics: I get rid of Hayley, I get rid of Neila. Luckily for me, baby mama drama had opened a market for home paternity testing. All it would cost me was two hundred and ninety-five dollars to order one from a legit testing company. It might have been easier to pick one up from the drug store, but I knew that company brand would come in handy. They also had a motherless option test, so I didn't need to worry about getting DNA from that whore. All I had to do was wait for the kit to arrive, find a way to swab Gordon and his munchkin, send it off, and then get the results in a matter of days.

I blame those dumb talk shows for making this so damn easy for me. Too bad Gordon won't be doing back flips off the stage.

It was almost as if this was all supposed to happen. After getting the kit, every task after that was basically hand delivered to me. I didn't have to figure out a way in to Gordon's house to get to Hayley because he'd gotten into the habit of asking Neila to watch her at nights while he worked. Poor little Neila probably thought she was earning brownie points with Gordon, but she was just helping me.

It was really pretty fun, though. I hadn't enjoyed sneaking around like this since that time I took those nudies of Terri and gave them to this lame named Greg. I'd orchestrated what I thought would have been her losing her virginity, but the slut gave that up long before I got that idea. Then she tried to pretend she was so mortified to have a guy dealing with her who she didn't have to bribe first. I call BS.

Now even though all of that was hilarious, it still wasn't as entertaining as this. This was more covert. This was the ultimate deception, and it actually gave me a small high when I crept into Neila's room and found a sleeping Hayley. Knowing what I was in there for and the possibility of getting caught gave me such a rush, which is why I didn't bother to lock the door.

I was still cautious not to make too much noise, no use in waking up the brat and ending my little adventure. I was a little nervous about that when I pried her mouth open and when she mumbled something and turned away from me. That wasn't about to stop me, though. I just climbed on the bed and got what I needed.

Now that the morning was here, I was on my way to Gordon's. I knew he'd had a long night because of the conversation he had with Neila when he called to check on Hayley and ask that she stay a little longer. I knew he would be too tired to argue with me and try to keep my out of his home. I actually wouldn't even need his permission because I snagged Hayley's house key from her backpack. It was absolutely kismet.

There wasn't a sound when I walked in his house because I knew he was upstairs sleeping. A smile was plastered on my face as I made my way to him because I was just happy this was all finally about to be over. With all this work though I should have been getting two damn vacations.

His bedroom door was open, and he was laying there in just some basketball shorts. He wasn't even laying completely on the bed, one leg and arm hanging over the side. Clearly he was out of it, so I wasn't even quiet nor gentle when I put the swab in his mouth. He even left his mouth open, snoring after I was done. I just laughed and started walking out.

"Deklyne, what the fuck are you doing here?" he barked and scared the shit out of me.

I didn't answer him at first, not sure how I was going to lie my way out of this. I turned to him, stalling for time and praying his brain was too fuzzy to pick up on my nerves.

"That's how you want to talk to me after I plan this surprise out for you?" I finally asked him sweetly and slowly lowered myself to his bed.

He eyed me before walking away from me to put on a shirt. "Answer the question."

"I came to see you," I said and sauntered back to him to wrap my arms around his neck.

"That wasn't smart. I'm about to go out," he said dryly, and his body remained stiff.

"You just woke up," I reminded the dumbass.

He shrugged and frown at me as if I was irritating him. "I took a nap, now I need to go take care of my business. Now tell me what you came over here for, and you better not say to see me."

"Well—I—I," I didn't know what to say, so I figured going on the defensive would do the trick. "Why are you being so mean? I just wanted to do something nice for you." I let my voice shake just a little, no need to go overboard. "We haven't even—"

He finally moved me off of him and his eyes got a little darker. "How did you get in my house?"

I shrugged back at him and put a pout on my face. "You left your door open. I called, but I guess you were too tired to answer, so here I am to surprise you."

"With what? You? How is that something you thought I would like, waking up seeing your ass randomly standing in my bedroom while I'm sleep?" His frown grew deeper, and all I could so was back up a little.

What the hell did he think I was supposed to say? How was I supposed to spin this? He was being so damn rude and unnecessary, and I couldn't even deny that what he just said stung a little.

"Are you really upset with me?" I quietly asked him, hoping to draw some sympathy from somewhere.

That only seemed to bother him more though. "Deklyne, what the hell you doing? You acting real stalker-like right now, and I'm not good with shit like that."

"I came over to cook you breakfast. God." I finally said, and he just gave me a blank stare. "Do you really have to act like this big of an ass to me?" I asked him, faking my ass off like I was hurt.

"I don't have time for this." His voice was so low, and he was pissing me off by the second acting like me even being near him was killing him.

"Gordon, I just wanted to spend a little time with you." I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "I miss you. Okay?" I sighed again and paced a little bit. "I honestly didn't think you seeing me would piss you off so much." I bit my lip to bring attention to it so he'd see it was trembling.

"Deklyne, this popping up at my house shit needs to stop." The look on his face let me know I was in for a war to get him to warm up to me.

At this point I was actually stuck. I didn't know what the hell I was going to do. I'd had what I needed, and I sure as hell didn't want to cook for him. The problem was he was still acting as if he didn't care to be around me, so what would all of this be for if it wasn't going to result with us having sex?

God! This was starting to become too much work. Now I needed to put in even more effort to get him comfortable with me again.

I barely touched his shoulder, figuring he didn't want me touching him. "Gordon, please? The last time I had to leave so early. I just want to spend some time with you, even if it's just a thirty minute breakfast." He sighed and scratched the back of his head. "Please, Gordon? Is it still really that hard to spend time with me?" I asked him softly, and my expression was priceless.

"Man, Deklyne," he huffed. "Look, a quick breakfast then I'm leaving and so are you."

"I guess I'll take what I can get, huh?" I said sourly, but he didn't look as remorseful as I thought he'd be for _"hurting my feelings"_ with that comment.

"Downstairs," was all he said before leading the way.

My mind was still working on a way to get out of here with the swab and his panties out of his ass. There was nothing else I could do but make the damn breakfast, so first I toasted a few of his waffles he had and buttered a bit of toast for the both of us. The only other thing he got from me was a fresh glass of poured OJ.

"Deklyne, really? This is cooking me breakfast, warming up shit?" he asked with an attitude, but he didn't sound as hostile or distant as he did when he first woke up.

"Well I'm sorry I'm not as good as Neila," I whined and brought everything over to him.

"Ain't nobody as good as Neila, but why tell me you cooking when all you bringing me is frozen food? I've been bamboozled," he said with a small smile, and I saw my opening.

"Hey, this is classic Deklyne. Are you telling me you're actually surprised I didn't turn on the stove?" I asked, sitting next to him and watching him as I took a bite of toast.

"I guess I shouldn't be, huh?" He shook his head and laughed a little. "Well thank you for this wonderful meal."

"Oh whatever, Gordon. You love it," I told him rubbing his cheek, and he grabbed my hand and kissed my palm.

"You know you're the only woman who can break into my home, piss me off, and I still end up smiling at you over breakfast?"

I smiled at him, honestly laughing at him on the inside. "I guess we just have that connection."

"I guess we do," he told me before letting my hand go and standing up. "But I still have business I need to take care of."

"You haven't even finished your food," I playfully fussed at him.

"What the hell is there to finish?" he playfully fussed back and brought me to my feet.

"So you're kicking me out already?" I said pitifully, but I was actually happy.

"This is why you don't break into a man's house. But hey, if we ever make a real date, I promise not to kick you out."

"You'd have to stop ignoring me first, ass." There was no stopping my mouth before I said that, but thankfully Gordon took it as a joke.

"Noted, baby," he said and kissed me on my cheek before walking me to the door. "Next time when I'm not so busy we'll go out. Deal?"

I pouted a little for effect then smiled. "Deal," I finally said causing him to hold out his hand for me to shake. I just hugged him and he laughed. "You promise, Gordon? I don't want you to hate being around me."

I noticed his face soften after that, and he rubbed my back. All signs of his guard dropping and his protector feelings coming out. "I promise, baby. No more being shady to you."

I gave him a quick peck on the lips that he didn't refuse or become stiff because of. He actually smiled genuinely at me and squeezed me a little tighter until I pulled away. I knew he was once again about to be putty in my hands. You couldn't have scrubbed the smile off my face as I made my way back home.

I was going to send off this DNA, get the results, send little Hayley packing, and finish this thing once and for all. Too bad things were now actually starting to get fun. Who could say this wasn't something to get tickled about? I'd manipulated this man more than once, forced the all-mighty Dani to elimination, done some pretty neat stealth work to ex out Neila's tool, and who knew what else my little mind could come up with if things were to keep going?

Forty-Four : Dani

I gripped the girl's hand as I irritably waited for Gordon to answer his door. I'd been at his door for two minutes, and he had yet to come to it. I thought for a moment why he was taking so long, and I punished the girl's hand for my anxiety. I could actually hear my heart beating in my ears. There was a tremble in my hands, and I could feel a give in my knees. My head was swirling, and my stomach was in knots. I was being fucking pathetic.

There was no reason for me to be worrying and behaving this way, especially over a man. I was actually concerned with why he'd been content with being out of my life. I was worried about why it was affecting me so much. I was losing my damn mind because of this man, and I needed to get my ass together. Quick.

"Stop squirming," I fussed at the girl and yanked her arm back to me before she could pull it completely out of my grasp.

"Mommy, that hurts," she whined.

I snatched her and straighten her posture. "You better not ever let me hear you whine again. Do you hear me?" I asked her in a tone that she should have understood not to take lightly. She still, however, ignored me and whimpered while pulling on her arm. I gripped her tighter and grabbed her chin to direct her attention up to me. "Little girl, I am not playing with you. You will not cry, whine, whimper, pout, or beg when you are with me. Now I'm not going to ask you again. Do you . . . " I paused and leaned closer to her face, "hear me?"

She just stared at me for a second then gave a submissive nod, so I pulled her in front of me and held her shoulders. I felt her shaking a little, but I decided not to correct her again . . . at least not at the moment. Right now there were things more important than her behavior on my mind.

I was still at a lost for why I was exactly on this man's doorstep when there were plenty of other things I could be doing with my time. I'd actually gone out of my way to bring the girl by picking her up from school early, telling myself it was for the reason he'd asked me about some time ago, but I knew I could care less if his girl had any friends to play with.

I gave a light squeeze to the girl's shoulders once I heard locks popping open. I chided myself for my reaction and forced my emotions to get under control. No matter how discomfit I was feeling, there was no reason for him to sense any of it.

"Dani." Gordon coldly called my name after he'd opened the door, and his expression was almost enough to bring my claws out. I probably should have thanked him for bringing my mental state back down to my norm. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm not here to see how the weather will hold up, that's for damn sure," I snapped after he waited too long to allow me entry into his home.

"Okay." He stepped further onto his porch, leaving me no choice but to take a step back. "But I doubt you'd plan a trip without a purpose."

I bit my lip in annoyance, but I knew the time had not yet come for me to let loose. "I'm at your house, Gordon. What purpose would you think I'm here for?"

"That didn't answer my question."

I took another moment before answering him because his whole demeanor was coming off completely wrong to me. "What the fuck is your problem, Gordon?"

His eyes quickly shot to the girl, and my hand went to my hip. There was no reason his attention should have went elsewhere while I was talking to him.

"You do realize your daughter is standing right in front of you?" he questioned me as if he'd just pointed out something important.

"The hell is your point? Look Gordon, I'm not about to put up with your bullshit—"

"Danielle!" He stepped closer, glaring at me hard before he knelt down to the girl's eye level. "Lexi, you want to go play with Hayley while I talk to your mama?"

The girl wouldn't speak for a while until she let out a sniffle. "Who's Hayley?" She wiped at her eyes, and she was just about to get slapped for her weak display. Not two seconds ago I'd already warned her on how she needed to behave.

"She's my daughter." He moved pieces of hair out of her face and smiled at her.

I wanted so badly to knock that smile right off his face. He hadn't even smiled at me yet, but this girl got his affection. He should have known by now that would never be acceptable.

"You two are about the same age, and all of her friends are in Miami."

"She doesn't have any here?"

"No. She just moved here." He held her hand and swung it a little.

"Oh." She looked up at me, but I said nothing.

"I know she'd love to meet you. Matter of fact, I already told her about you and taking you to Mikey's. She's been begging me to take the both of you."

"Really?" The girl seemed to get a little peppier, and that brought out yet another smile from Gordon.

"Yes, really. That sound like fun to you?"

"Yeah! I love Mikey's!" She bounced up and down while giggling, and Gordon chuckled. "Can we go now?"

I'd long had enough of this scene, but I'd been kind enough to sit back. However, there was no way in hell I was going to let this girl ruin my plans. "No! We did not come over here for that. Now be quiet."

She was motionless and silent in an instant, and I couldn't thank God enough. "Sorry, Mommy." She grabbed my hand and laid her face on the back of it, and Gordon pulled her closer to him.

"I'll take you some other time. Promise. Okay?" She just nodded, and he pulled her hand from mine. "After Mikey's we'll go to the park and whatever else you girls want to do, but you have to smile first."

The girl didn't respond to him, but I sure as hell did. "Gordon, will you please—"

"You have to smile for me or we can't go. You want to go, don't you?" He cut me off, and I tried to grab the girl away from him, but he pushed my hand away and picked her up. "You don't want to go with us no more?"

The girl turned her head from us both, but I still heard her when she spoke. "I want to go."

"Then you have to smile."

"Gordon, is this seriously how you want to spend your time with me?" I was entirely regretting the idea to bring this girl with me.

He gave me another one of his glares before he tickled the girl and laughed with her. "You have to smile for me."

"I'm smiling!" the girl screamed through fits of laughter.

"Gordon!"

He finally put the girl down and stepped to the side. "Go inside, baby girl."

He yelled for his girl to show the girl to the bedroom he wanted them to play in, and by the time he'd put his attention on me, I was steaming.

"You don't need to talk like that in front of her, and you damn sure don't need to talk like that to her."

"Excuse you? You had better not be trying to tell me how to talk around or to my girl."

"She doesn't need to hear things like that," he fussed at me, and I laughed because he was starting to remind me of Tavaris. "This is funny to you?"

"Yes! It is," I told him with much attitude.

"Why are you here, Danielle?"

I couldn't respond at first because I wasn't . . . comfortable with him being so cold towards me only moments after watching him act so carefree with the girl. "You said you wanted the girls to spend time together, so here we are. Obviously what the girl wants is more important to you than what I want."

He just watched me for a while, and had I been able to form a solid thought, I probably would have cursed him. "I'm not about to have a pointless argument with you. You came over here for a reason. Tell me what it is or leave. You want to act like a terrified moron over something you can't admit to, that's your problem. Keep your crazy ass away from me and my daughter."

I licked my lips and prepared my body to switch to attack mode. "You better think very long and hard about the way you speak to me."

He let a small chortle out through his nose and backed up. "Dani, there is no need for you to get excited. We're two reasonable adults. You came over here for something, and I just want to know what. Nothing has to be over the top in this situation." He stopped talking, and I was positive it was because he wanted me to say something. Too bad I couldn't think of anything to say. "You came over here to see me, Dani. Just tell me why."

"Gordon, I didn't come for you."

"That's bullshit, and you know it."

I had to chuckle to myself and advert my eyes. I could feel myself getting heated, but something warned me that anger was not what I needed right now. "I told you why I was here. Our girls—"

"You just fussed at Alexis telling her you weren't over here for that. Don't stand here in my face and lie." His tone bounced against my nerves, but I couldn't deny the truth that came from his words. "After you told me to stay away from you, I did that. You're the one that has shown up at my job, ran up on me and caused a drunken scene in a parking lot, now you're at my house."

"I can't—"

He waved his hand at me to cut me off and talked over me. "All those times _you_ came to me. You've purposely sought me out talking about it wasn't because you wanted to see me. If you don't want to see me, leave. Alexis can spend the day with Hayley, and I'll drop her off later." He just eyed me for a few seconds, and I couldn't think of anything to say. "Or is this whole thing still too entertaining for you?"

"Is that all you have to say to me?"

"You're wasting both of our time."

"I'm not about to—"

"Go."

"Do not talk to me like—"

"Walk your ass back to your car."

"Fine, alright! I am over here to see you!" I yelled at him. I was angry that I had to admit to something that I couldn't even understand.

He shrugged his shoulders and folded his arms. "Why?" he questioned me as if he was starting to become angry his own self.

"Why are you questioning everything?" He was just about to push me to my limits. Never had I let myself be reduced to this, and he had the nerve to stand there and act the way he was.

"Because I want to know what your point is," he fussed.

"Gordon, I'm not about to put up with too much more of your bullshit. You wanted to do whatever it was we were doing, and at first, I didn't care to do it."

I thought about how at one point writing him off was so easy. He was just one of many, but it was like the longer I tried to force myself to forget about him, the harder other things in my day-to-day became. I just sighed as I resolved myself to accept that maybe he could explain all of this shit to me.

"Now I'm trying to give you a chance, but if you keep acting like this—"

"How do you even think that's fair to me?"

"Fuck what's fair to you!" I lashed out at his nerve.

He only shook his head and looked at me as if he felt sorry for me. "Danielle, I'm a grown ass man. This is the last time I'm telling you I don't play games. I was being real with you from the start, and you just gave me bullshit."

"I gave you what?" I laughed at him. I didn't find anything funny, but a laugh came out anyway. "I didn't give you anything, but what I wanted to give you was something you wouldn't soon forget."

"You wanted to give me sex," he fussed. "I've never had a problem with finding a ho to lay up with, and I've never involved myself further than sex with them. If you want me to think of you in that light, I'm not messing with you. I've been down that road enough. And honestly, I'd rather waste my time on a ho who will admit to her game."

He was slapped before he could even blink. "I warned you about the way you were talking to me, didn't I!" In the middle of me talking he turned to completely pull his door closed behind him. "You may think you're some—" Before I could finish, he grabbed my arm and spun me to pin me against his front door.

"That's one thing you better learn to keep under control around me," he lowly told me. I tried to move him, but he gripped both of my wrists and kept me in place. "Don't ever put your hands on me again."

"Once you learn how to talk to me and control your mouth, I won't need to discipline you."

He laughed at me and backed up. "Are you out of your mind?"

I stepped up to him and put my own grip on his chin. "You called me a ho, Gordon. Did you honestly think I'd let that shit slide?"

"Take your hand off my face." I didn't miss the threat his tone had with it, and even though I wanted to correct him for it, I let my hand drop and said nothing else. "I'm going inside. You better calm your ass down or you can sit right out here on this damn porch." He got one foot inside before I pulled on his arm.

"I'm not done speaking with you, Gordon. You don't get to walk away until I'm finished."

"Do you really think I'm some fucking puppy you give commands to, Danielle!" He was in my face this time, and before I could swing on him my hand was twisted behind my back. "Please pay attention to what I'm telling you. You're not going to put your hands on me anymore just because I say something you don't like."

I was so frustrated at that point I couldn't even think straight. I just stood there and let him talk to me like that as if he had a right to. Once I felt him slowly letting me go, I finally found my voice.

"You know what? I really don't get you. You pretend that you want more from me, but the minute my sister is ready to fuck, you think you can dismiss me and keep pretending to be some great guy. You're just like every other nigga with a dick, so don't throw your bullshit in my face anymore! I know what you're doing with Deklyne." He was playing his own hand in this sick little game, and I knew that's probably what got to me the most.

He hesitated before he spoke, and he even walked away from me—probably to come up with some lie to justify what he was doing with Deklyne. "See the funny thing about that is whatever you _know_ is going on with me and Deklyne has nothing to do with you. Who opted out of what was going on between us, me or you? You can't get mad at the shit you think I'm doing now."

"You think this is the first time a man has tried to use her to either make me jealous or get closer to me?"

"I don't doubt it, but I'm not doing anything like that. The main thing you need to remember—you never wanted anything to do with me, and I don't want shit else to do with you."

I could literally feel my veins pop once he said that to me. I couldn't even explain why his words carried so much weight with them. I'd heard Tavaris tell me so many variations of that same desire, but I'd always found it comical. This time it felt like a slap in the face.

I shoved him out of my way, walked in his house, and slammed the door behind me. "We're leaving! Get down here now!" I paced back and forth at the base of his stairs, and just when I was about to yell for the girl a second time, I saw her timidly making her way to the stairs. "Little girl, don't make me—"

"Hayley, take her back in your room," Gordon said, grabbing me and pulling me from the stairs. "I'm still talking to Mommy, Alexis. You can keep playing."

"Get the fuck off me!"

"Stop it!" Gordon yelled back at me.

"Daddy!" his girl screamed, and she had better be glad I wasn't closer to her.

"Just take Alexis back in your room, baby girl." She grabbed the girl's hand and did as she was told, and Gordon pushed me further into his living room. "What the fuck is wrong with you? You act like that all the time in front of your daughter?"

"Don't worry about how I act around the girl."

"The girl? Who the hell is the girl? Why the hell have you never called her by her name?"

"You better watch your fucking attitude!" I shoved my finger in his face, and he knocked it away.

"Yell at me one more time in my house," he threatened, and I laughed. "I don't see a damn thing funny about anything right now."

"You are, Gordon. You are hilarious right now."

"You been sipping on some shit before you got here? Is this what happens to you when you can't get your way? Me not fucking you has actually made you crazier?"

"Stop making everything about you!" I tried to hit him again, but he was too quick and pinned me under him on his couch.

"Will there be any point in this conversation where you act like an adult?"

"Gordon, fuck you!"

"Calm down."

"Kiss my as—"

"Stop talking!"

I squirmed, but I got nowhere. "Get off m—"

"Be quiet!" Lord knows I had plenty to say to him, but the look in his eyes bought my silence. "Obviously something is bothering you. Now I'm only going to ask you this one time. Do you want to talk about it?"

"I want you to get the fu—"

"I'm not asking again, Danielle."

I couldn't speak for at least a minute, and despite my mother's best efforts, she couldn't prepare me for the situation I now found myself in. "Just get off me, Gordon," I couldn't help but whimper out.

He just stared at me, never loosening his grip. "Why are you crying?"

"Get the fuck off me!" I fussed at him, sniffling and disgusting myself in the process. I just needed a drink, and then I'd forget all of this.

Finally he was off of me, but before I could get completely off his couch, he pulled me to sit next to him. "I'm not trying to assume anything, but—"

"Keep that shit to yourself," I bitterly told him and stood up while pushing him back.

"So you're good with keeping whatever it was between us in the past? That shit is done, right?"

I heard the resentment in his voice, and I knew he was just trying to piss me off now. I turned to him, forcing myself to appear as uncaring as I possibly could. "So you can fuck around with Deklyne? Fine."

"Why you care? You were playing me from jump." He accused me, and I tried to ignore it but couldn't.

"You keep talking about games and playing people. Gordon, that's what you do! I give you a chance to be with me and you piss it away then turn around and go after Deklyne."

"I didn't go after her."

"But you're with her, Gordon!" I screamed at him, but his expression never changed. For just a second I looked at his eyes, and I was about to fall right back into the trap that had tripped me up in the first damn place. His fucking eyes were always able to make me feel something for the shit he'd use to tell me. "I have a question though, Gordon," I chuckled bitterly.

"What?"

"You feeding her the same bullshit you fed me? You encouraging her to go back to school?" I could barely get the question out as I thought about the time he set up that sad ass picnic for us. "You trying to counsel her and give her all these little tid-bits on life and growing? _'_ _The experience is what you make it. Nothing is ever at its best without the work that builds it up_ _'_ ," I mocked the bullshit he'd once said to me. "You steadily trying to give her reasons to fall for your games?" I couldn't stand to look at him anymore and walked halfway up his stairs, but I stopped once I felt him on my heels. "But I will say this. Bravo."

"For what?"

"Your show. All you want to do is fuck me. Everything you've ever done has been for that one purpose; you just have you own game you play so you won't feel like you're some piece of shit playboy."

"My father always told me that I should never lie just to steal from a woman everything that I'm guaranteed from a whore, and never try to buy from a whore what I should earn from a woman." He started to walk pass me, and I could feel his breath on my neck when he was close. "You're not a whore, Danielle. I never treated you like one and don't ever expect me to."

"You don't know what I am," I fussed
"I know you've had sex with plenty of dudes," he snapped back, "but that's because your soul is broken, right?" he challenged me. "I'm not going to treat you like shit just because that's all you think you are. . . . But I'm not going to wait around for you open your eyes, either. I've become a real impatient mother fucker as of late."

He reached his girl's room, and I couldn't stop myself from blurting out my words. "Why do you say things like that to me?"

"Like what?"

"I know what I am, Gordon." My voice shook as I spoke to him, and I was almost scared to hear him respond to me.

He walked back to me and moved me to the wall before holding his head closer to mine so I could hear him when he whispered. I still heard the anger in his voice, though. "You use sex as a crutch. You use your temper as a defense mechanism. Now you're using alcohol as a Band-Aid." He cupped my chin to make me look at him, and his eyes looked so raw. "Danielle, I feel like I know more about you than you want me to. You probably were using me for your own fun, but something in you must be changing. I'm done with trying to figure your shit out, though."

That was about his fourth time telling me he was done with me, but each time it felt like it hurt more than the last time. "Like I thought, you don't give a fuck."

"Look at it how you want," he said and moved away from me. "I want to believe you're a strong enough person to get yourself together on your own."

"Stop saying shit like that to me," I fussed at him.

"How damaged are you that you don't want to hear things like _'You can be better,'_?"

I didn't even give myself time to come up with an answer for him. The girl was out of that room, hauled down the steps, and shoved in her seat before Gordon could even blink. What kind of question was he asking me? How did he want me to respond to that?

I couldn't make sense of any of the things that were going on in my head. So much of it I didn't even feel like giving attention to. It was pointless. It did nothing but fog my brain and pull me away from things that were truly important.

I reached for my purse to pull out my XO, but I stopped myself after catching the girl's face in the rear view mirror. I just sighed and dropped my purse back in my passenger seat. It did something to me to see her looking so sad right then.

"Don't worry. Macy won't let you turn out like me." I tried to smile at her, but seeing her eyes burn my own made me turn my head. "You shouldn't have to . . . " Again, I tried to look at her, but I couldn't face her eyes. They revealed too much of myself for me to stomach. "Mommy's sorry, Alexis. I shouldn't—"

"I want Macy," she whispered, and when I was finally able to look at her, I saw her head down.

I turned in my seat to watch her for a few seconds, but there was nothing I could say. I finally turned the ignition over and reversed out of the driveway.

Forty-Five : Neila

I took my blazer off and threw it in my backseat before grabbing the basket of food for Gordon and Hayley. A sigh left my lips as I held it up and closed my door. Another night and another meal. It almost bothered me that he requested I make extra peach cobbler on account of Hayley because I knew Hayley would much rather have chocolate cake, but I did think it was a little funny.

The moment I stepped on his porch, he snatched the door open as if he'd been waiting there for me. A huge smile sat on his face, and it gave me a few butterflies to see him standing there, but I did smile back at him.

"Hey, baby," he said with his southern drawl, and I giggled at him. Before I could say anything to greet him however, he wrapped me in a hug and picked me up, carrying me into his house. "I missed you," he said, pecking my cheek and setting me down.

"You just spoke to me on the phone," I told him, walking to his couch.

"What that mean? I haven't seen you in person in days," he exaggerated.

I gave my own exaggerated eye roll as I set the food on the coffee table then flopped on the couch. "I think what you're really saying is you miss my cooking. I mean, you put in more orders than my sisters."

"That's a lie," he said and rolled over the back of his couch and landed with his head in my lap. "I like your cooking and everything, but it ain't the best I've ever had." I just nudged his head, but then I started to brush his waves. He did it so often, usually when I annoyed him, but I'd been wanting to brush them myself for a while now.

"Where's Hayley?" I asked looking around. It was too quiet, and I knew that was not like her.

"She's sleep. She's not feeling good." He exhaled and closed his eyes, and I smiled a little at him relaxing so quickly.

Remembering what he'd just said about Hayley did bring on a small frown, though. I didn't like hearing that my love was sick. "Well, how is she?" I asked and tried to slide away, but Gordon grabbed my hand and held it on his chest. "She might need somebody," I protested.

"She needs some sleep. Soon as she sees you, she's going to act like she's better, and she doesn't need that."

"What's wrong with her exactly? She might need something other than what you've given her. Hayley's usually not quiet, so whatever you gave her—"

"Stop worrying, woman. This is not the first time she's been sick."

"How often does she get sick?" I asked, now nervous that he was hiding something from me.

"Neila, calm down. She's not sickly. She gets sick like any normal child does."

"I think I should go check on her," I tried to suggest, but I was going whether he agreed or not.

He just looked at me then sat up. "What if I say I'm sick?" he asked with his little attitude. "I need some Neila attention. How about that?"

"Oh don't be ridiculous." I stood up, and he pulled me back down on his lap. "I beg your pardon?" I said in slight annoyance.

He just laughed and lightly pecked the back of my neck. "You always all over the place. Why can't you just settle down for once?"

"Take your hands off of me." I wiggled, but his grip only got tighter.

"Why?" he whispered and kissed my neck again.

This kiss was considerably different from his first one, however. His lips lingered a bit, but the difference wasn't only in the way he did it. My body felt a spark too, and I wasn't sure how to react to everything that was happening.

In sync with his lips, his hands caressed my thighs, and I couldn't help that my body relaxed and molded to his a little more. He pulled my legs further apart, and my eyes fluttered as he worked his lips along various spots on the back of my neck.

I knew I should have been reacting differently, but it was a minute before I let out a soft breath and licked my lips in an attempt to get my brain working again. "Gordon, what are you doing?" I finally asked.

I could tell he smiled, but he wouldn't say anything for a few seconds. "Giving you some Gordon attention." I was out of his lap in an instant, and he just laughed. "What's wrong with you, baby?"

I was shocked and puzzled by him, and he just laughed harder at my facial expression. "What's wrong with you is the question, Gordon," I fussed.

He just chuckled and shook his head. "I guess that was too far?" I didn't say anything to him, so he pulled me back down to sit next to him and turned the television on.

Neither of us moved or said anything for a while, and I doubted either of us was really paying attention to what was on the television. Well at least I wasn't. I was still trying to understand what Gordon had up his sleeve. What was his purpose in kissing my neck in such a way? Also, just what was this "Gordon Attention" he was speaking of? Surely it wasn't anything I wanted.

As thoughts continued to swirl around in my head, I finally put things together. Gordon was clearly trying to make me his next target.

The last few shindigs with my sisters had been quite revealing, as far as Gordon's actions were concerned anyway. He'd been a busy body, attempting to swoon both Deklyne and Dani. Deklyne was all too eager to spill the beans about her and Gordon's time together. They'd gone shopping together, had breakfast and taken a midday nap with each other, and he'd also been calling her to come spend time with him at his club. To hear her tell it, they were nearing the altar.

Of course, Dani has never been one to be out shined. She wasn't shy in the least about what she thought of Deklyne's "game plan." To say she thought it was desperate and immature would be an understatement. To add on to that as if cutting Deklyne down wasn't enough to get tempers flying, Dani became a little sanctimonious while giving her own progress report. She informed all listening ears of the bond Hayley and Alexis had already formed mirroring the one she and Gordon already had. She also said Gordon had called her just the other night to apologize for not understanding her standards better, and said he vowed to make things between them better.

I wanted to not hold anything against Gordon. After all, my sisters were both playing their own game with him as well, but I couldn't deny that it not only angered me that he was now moving on to me, but it actually hurt. I'd given up on this bet. I was actually spending time with him and Hayley because I enjoyed it.

How silly of me to think this absurd behavior could be contained to my sisters while I would take a chance to forge a _friendship_ with this man.

Hearing about all the things he was doing with my sisters did bother me, but I was mature enough to understand men behave certain ways when women are practically throwing themselves at them. I, however, was not throwing myself at him. He was beyond a savage to do this to me while gaming my sisters as well.

Pig, was all I could think.

As I sat stewing in my thoughts, he pulled me closer to him. He wanted me to relax on his chest, but the longer my body was touching his, the quicker the anger built inside me. Before I knew what was happening, I was pushing away from him and snatching down my hairdo. He just eyed me with a cocked brow.

"So how do we do this?" I asked lifting my hands then letting them fall to my thighs with a loud slap.

He squinted and just looked at me for a few quiet seconds. "How do we do what?"

"Sex." I stood up and rotated my hands in circles, gesturing for him to keep pace with my thinking. "Sex. How do we do this sex thing?"

My hands found their way to my hips, and I began to pace as I felt my heart begin to race. I was stepping into long forgotten territory, and the thought scared me a little. Howbeit, if this man thought he was going to use me like this, I would just beat him to the punch. Why not sleep with him and end this whole thing he has going on with my sisters. At least then my sisters could kick this trifling mutt to the curb as well because the bet would be over.

"Wait, what the hell are you mad about?"

"Personal feelings need not be involved right now. Sex is our only concern."

He still just watched me for a second or two as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "You're not serious."

"Do you want me naked? just take my underwear off? underwear off and shirt open? What? What's the protocol for this type of thing?"

"Protocol? Who even calls—You know what—" He jumped up, but I ceased anything he was about to do or say by pushing him back in his seat.

"Can we just get this over with?" I paced more, ignoring his frozen expression. "Umm . . ." I scratched my hairline right under my swooped bang before running my fingers through it. "I don't believe you need to be completely naked, so long as you can operate and find all intended components." I held the lapel of my blouse as I finally stopped moving and took a second to think about what was soon to occur. "The enterprise about to transpire between us is not a new practice to either of us. Though I'm sure you've had quite a bit more practice than I. Nonetheless, this is what our circumstances and actions have led us to."

"Please tell me that's not how you talk dirty to a man."

"Gordon, I'm serious."

"You want to have sex with me?" he asked with a slight frown.

"No," I honestly told him. I didn't see the need in lying. Evidently he didn't care as long as he got what he wanted in the end.

"So why are you bringing up the topic?"

"This is clearly how things must be handled. You made your request very clear. You get me over here to cook for you. I watch Hayley for you. We're spending time together. The list could go on, but . . . " I shook my head and straightened my clothes. "that's not important. Umm . . . where are we concluding this arrangement?"

He gave me the longest and blankest stare he'd ever given me, and I had to admit I felt more than a little foolish now. After a few more seconds of silence, he reached passed me to grab the basket of food.

"This is sustenance right?" He popped open the basket and moved some things around before pulling the dishes out. "So I'm just going to eat and pretend this shit never happened."

"Gordon—"

"Sustenance keeps people healthy, you know. Body, soul . . . _mind_."

"Gordon," I called his name with a bit more force that time.

"You might need to eat a big ass plate right about now," he said, pulling me down beside him.

"I'm not going to let you ignore me."

He opened the dish containing the macaroni and cheese, grabbed a fork I'd already had in the basket, and stuffed some in my mouth. "You really are an excellent cook, baby. I've never had mac with croutons baked on top, but I'm sure it's good."

"We need"—I spoke, needing to use my hands to block food that tried to fly out of my mouth.

"See baby, talking with food in your mouth is a definite turn off. I guess sexing you is out of the question now." He handed me a napkin and frowned at me. "It's disgusting to even look at you right now."

"Will you be serious?"

"I can't be serious after hearing you refer to having sex as a protocol."

"Gordon, you're bouncing around, not even considering how your actions will affect others."

"I'm just trying to watch the damn TV. You're the one popping out with sex propositions during commercials."

"You caused this," I fussed at him. I was getting so upset with him, but I didn't even know why.

"Explain that shit to me, please?" He waited for me to say something, but I couldn't think of anything at the moment. "Was it the kiss on the neck?" He asked and waited again, and he was met with the same response. "I know you ain't had none in a minute but—"

"Gordon!" I shot up from my seat and started to pace again. "It's not like I've been . . . I thought we were . . . " I didn't know how to finish my thought without putting my foot in my mouth, so it was then quiet for a long while. I still couldn't stand still nor keep my eyes on him as his steady gaze made my stomach turn flips. "If we . . . If we do this it would just be . . . "

"You want to sleep with me?" he asked in a low tone, but I couldn't answer him.

When I could actually manage to look at him, his eyes shook me even more. Hearing him ask me that already made the situation too real for me, but his eyes threatened to break something in me that I didn't even quite understand. There was no other choice but to just stand there, trying my hardest to keep my breathing normal.

Nothing, however, could be done about the heat he was causing in me. My heart was beating against my chest, and I could hear it drumming in my ear. Calming down was seemingly out of the question, and I just couldn't understand how Gordon appeared to become even more relaxed the more he watched me.

I saw it in his eyes. They'd shifted from annoyance to defiance to shock, and now he was calm—almost enthralled. He softened his posture before licking his lips at me and running his eyes the length of my body. I couldn't help the chill I felt tickle my spine, and I began to wring my hands, not knowing what else to do.

"You want to have sex, Neila?" he asked, still with his delicate tone as he stood up.

His voice actually made my breath a bit shaky, and I idiotically forgot to inhale until he started taking slow calculated steps towards me. With each step it was like he knew he was making me feel cornered by some irresistible sin. The only thing I was able to do was retreat step by step away from him. Finally I was stopped by the wall, and he was pressing his body on mine, looking down at me with those luring eyes of his.

"You want me to make love to you?" he playfully teased but his voice was so smooth and enticing that not only was my breathing shaky now, my legs were trembling.

"Huh?" was all I could manage to whisper as it became harder and harder for complete sentences to come out of my mouth.

Then I felt his hands go to my waist, and I took in a sharp breath. He'd wrapped me in his arms before, but for some reason my body was reacting differently to his touch now. Then when I felt him move his hands to my backside, I squirmed. I just couldn't take in all of these emotions right now, and he just smirked at me. This was amusing to him, and even though I wanted to be angry with him, I couldn't. I still tried to push him away from me, however.

"No, Gordon," I tried to fuss, but my voice was still barely above a whisper.

"This was your idea," he countered and continued to smirk. I tried to push him off of me again, but my efforts softened once I felt his lips on my neck again. I was quickly finding out this was a weakness of mine. "You said to do this, Neila."

"I . . . umm . . . " I pushed on his arms, and he finally moved his hands from my backside and moved them to the sides of my face. "I lied, Gordon," I said falteringly. "I lied."

"You lied?" he asked, still with his smirk on his face.

"Gordon—"

Before I could finish, he was kissing me. At first, I was paralyzed as his lips pressed against mine then he was sucking and nibbling just slightly, and my head felt a little light as I got caught up in the way his lips felt on mine. From the second his lips touched mine, the small butterflies I'd experienced when I'd first seen him tonight had turned into an entire body quake.

There was a small break where he just looked down at me, and he had a glint in his eyes that I'd never seen before. My head was still in a bit of a fog, but I felt him push more of his body on me, and he lifted my head higher before moving in for another kiss. This one was more desirous than the last one, and I couldn't really tell who was enjoying the kiss more.

His hand slowly slid down my body, and when he cupped my breast, my back arched a little. Once his hand was finally on my waist, he pulled my hips to him, and it just became impossible for me to hold back the moan that hummed from my throat. I felt my arms moving on their own accord to wrap around his neck, and my right hand traced his spine until I got to the nape of his neck then I just cradled it.

He broke our kiss again but only to start a trail of kisses to my neck. With the attention he kept showing my neck, I was almost positive he'd figured out how excited it made me feel. Another moaned escaped from me, but I bit my lip to keep from calling out his name.

I was amazed at how just his lips could do this to me. They felt so soft, and my skin just felt extra sensitive wherever he placed them. It was like there was some kind of connection from his lips and the places he kissed to my vagina. Part of me felt like I should be embarrassed with myself for feeling this way, but a bigger part of me just didn't care. That was until he started unbuttoning my blouse. That's when I pulled his hands away.

"What?" he questioned, and he looked as if he'd just been pulled out of a trance. His eyes looked heavy and hungry, and his breathing wasn't steady. His recovery was faster than mine, however. "This is protocol, Neila," he teased, with his smirk returning to his face.

"Stop, Gordon." I tried to push him away, but he grabbed my hands and pinned them next to my head.

"You're supposed to say _'_ _Gordon, don't stop_ _,'_ " he whispered in my ear, and his warm breath felt like a vapor aphrodisiac.

He paralyzed me with another arousing kiss, so I couldn't do anything as he opened my shirt button by button. Finally when I felt his fingers touch my skin, I pushed him away. He just came right back and held my chin to make me look at him.

"Stop acting scary. You know you want this, woman," he tried to tell me.

"What?" I was still having a hard time thinking clearly, and I tried to put him at a distance again, hoping that would help my thought process. He just moved my hands down and came back to me. "No I don't," I finally told him, and he smirked and looked at my chest.

"Your body says different."

"Gordon . . . "

His smirk never left, and before I could protest anymore he lifted me into the air, holding my legs around his waist and walking us back to the couch. The moment my back was down, he kissed slowly down to my chest. I couldn't stop my head from spinning as I could feel small currents shooting through my body the further he went. He paused momentarily to snatch his shirt off, and when he came back down to me, I could smell his cologne—which smelled like heaven. I knew I was dangerously close to giving into this man, and I halfway didn't care to stop him. As my nerves would have it though, the second I felt his hand running under my skirt, I panicked.

"Gordon," I timidly whispered and pushed on him.

"What?" he asked gruffly.

I had nothing to say, and my body was betraying me. Luckily for me, Hayley screamed out for her father. He cursed under his breath, but he wouldn't move.

"You should go check on her," I said and pushed on him again.

He sighed, but thankfully he left me to gather myself. I shut my eyes and counted up to twenty-five to calm myself down, and then I rushed to redress in order to make a quick exit before they were back. Unfortunately, I'd taken too long with my counting. He was carrying Hayley down just as I was finishing with my shirt. The time he used to fix Hayley a plate, however, I used to search for my blazer. It didn't dawn on me that I'd left in my car until I felt Gordon wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I'm going to go," I told him, pushing his arms down.

"No you're not," he countered and pulled me to him for a kiss. "I don't want you to."

"Gordon—"

He gave me a push on the couch and smirked at me. "Sit and hush. You want to take it easy, fine. But you ain't running from me."

He finally sat down and cuddled up with me, and minutes later, Hayley was dozing off. He didn't make any more advances, but part of me still felt like such a wreck for the entire night. I couldn't help but believe things were only going to get worse from here on out with Gordon, myself, and my sisters. Dani and Deklyne were more than likely going to continue with their games, and after tonight . . . with what had just happened between Gordon and myself . . . It was hard to explain, and the more I thought about it, the harder it became for me to look at Gordon.

I was just hoping he didn't honestly believe I wanted to have sex with him. What I'd done was only a last ditch effort to end this bet. It was honestly just the bet. . . . And maybe because I hadn't been touched like that in a long while, but it couldn't have had anything to do with him. That was just unacceptable, and it would just be ridiculous on my part.

He was still trying to swoon Deklyne by taking her out, and I could bet he was probably doing most of it while he had me watching Hayley. Deklyne had all but confessed to that with her little implications. Not only that, he and Hayley were both spending time with Dani and Alexis. That's a major step he was taking with Dani. Now he was kissing on me and making me . . . This was probably all part of his agenda. Odds were impeccably high that he'd adroitly introduced me to his game. I'd set my own self up for this, but I knew I didn't have to fall for it.

Clearly he was better at this game than any of us. I knew it wouldn't have done any good to confront him, knowing this all started because of my sisters. I was even the one who warned my sisters that he would more than likely turn out this way; that was my whole purpose to do this bet. It was stupid of me to let things go as far as they have, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want him to keep gaming me.

Forty-Six : Terri

For the past few weeks now, the days in my life have been strange and new. More often than not, I found myself wanting to be away from my home instead of locked up in my room. Whenever I was alone, my mind always wandered to things that I wish I didn't think about because they made me so crazy. It became hard to focus on everything that use to matter to me. Ironically, I had to say that I felt like I was finally starting to settle. I couldn't help but think a lot of it had to do with the time I was spending with Brentin.

Having him around me was starting to bother me less and less. Thinking about yesterday, I can even admit to now being anxious to see him. Thirty minutes after he was supposed to be done with his class, he'd still had me waiting. I almost broke down, and so many explanations flew through my head as I tried to call Deklyne. I ended up convincing myself that he was finally tired of seeing me. When he finally came, despite how glad I was to see him, I could barely even look at him. I knew I wanted him there, but it was overwhelming to realize how bad I wanted him there.

I sat on my bed now, thinking about how silly it was for me to want to be around him so bad. His personality was too incredible to be drained by someone like me, someone who can't keep her head together long enough to act normal. I'm awkward, uninteresting, and clearly I'm becoming too dependent on seeing him. Who'd want to deal with that while getting nothing in return?

I knew I couldn't give him even a little of what he was probably use to. It was still hard for me to hold a conversation and keep constant eye contact, but yet here he was in my bedroom.

He was constantly telling me whenever we were around each other, I didn't have to worry about anything or anybody else. I tried not to think so negatively when he was around, but I felt it would be naïve of me not to have some caution when I was around him. I couldn't completely break my old ways of thinking, and I couldn't help that. I couldn't just decide to trust him, but I was making an attempt.

I watched him doing his best Michael Jackson tribute, and I tried to will myself to just enjoy the moment. He was actually pretty good at his impersonation, and he made it easier for me to relax.

"...closing in on ever side. They will possess you, unless you change the number on your dial," he sang and popped his hips. I couldn't control my giggle, and he came strutting up to me, still in character. "Don't laugh at me, lady. I just want to serenade you, baby." He spun on his toes and pointed at me. "Now it's time for you and I to cuddle close together, yeah."

I couldn't stop my fading reaction in time after he said that, so before I could recover, he'd already stopped his performance to give me his famous peer.

"You're a good dancer," I told him through a nervous laugh.

"What's wrong?" He stood completely still, and his typical knit brow took place on his face.

I curled my legs to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I knew I was making him angry again. He would never admit that he was mad at me, but I could tell. He'd always scowl at me and turn into this marble statue of intimidation. I didn't know how to respond in order to keep him from getting even more frustrated with me, and from experience I knew I was going to do just what I was desperate not to.

I held my head down on my knees, and I could feel my heart about to punch a hole in my chest. The silence that had surrounded us had become so deafening, my ears were starting to ring. He was waiting on me to answer now. He told me a while ago that he was not going to continue to repeat himself whenever he asked me questions, especially when he knew I'd heard him. The longer I stayed silent the harder it became to speak, though.

"Terri, you really don't know how to make things easy, do you?" I tried to pull my legs closer to my body, but it was impossible. My action caused him to walk over to me and pull my legs down flat. "Stop hiding from me. I already told you, you don't have to be scared of me."

"I—I'm not scared of you," I lied and used everything in me to look him in the eyes.

"You're an awful liar." He lifted my legs and sat down before putting them in his lap. "I was just singing and something happened to change your mood. You want to tell me what happened?"

"I didn't—"

"Terri, don't lie to me. I don't like when you start climbing back in your shell. Tell me what I did."

I shrugged and put my head down. Seconds later, I felt his fingers lifting my chin. "Nothing."

"Something happen. Why lie, seriously?"

"You didn't do anything. It was just something you said." He frowned, and I knew he wanted me to elaborate. "It's silly," I timidly chuckled through my syllables. "It was nothing, really."

"What did I say?" I tried to scoot away from him, but he gripped my legs with his mask still on his face. "Stop, Terri." His voice was stern and his grip firm, and I wouldn't have been surprised if he felt my body trembling.

I waited a little longer than he probably wanted, but I eventually answered him. "You said cuddle." He cocked his eyebrow, and I almost smiled at how cute he looked when he was confused. "You said it was time for us to cuddle."

"Oh." He slid further up the bed making my knees bend then I felt his thigh on my behind. He licked his lips and smirked before saying, "I was just singing, though. Those are the lyrics."

"I know . . . but it reminded me of . . . I hate to cuddle." I shrugged once I realized it was time I shut up.

"Why don't you like to cuddle?"

I bit my lip as I thought about explaining it to him, but I couldn't. How could I tell him I was worried he was slowly trying to make his way between my legs? First it would start with cuddling, then kissing, then me doing things to him, then him taking what he wanted from me. How could I tell him that I felt he was following in the steps of every male I'd ever been with, only he was taking his time? How could I tell him that?

"It just doesn't feel right," I finally told him with a shrug.

"You must not have cuddled with the right person." I took a second to make eye contact with him, and he chuckled. "It feels nice, Terri. I'd show you, but now probably wouldn't be the best time."

I decided not to say anything else and rested my head on my knees again. After hearing him sigh, I felt him rubbing my hair.

"Are you hungry?" I shook my head no, and he brushed my hair again. "When was the last time you ate?" I shrugged my shoulders in response, and he chuckled. "I want to cook for us. You mind if I use your kitchen?" My head shot up as I stared at him. "What? Young brothers can't know how to cook?"

He stood up and started leading me downstairs. I didn't make a sound because I actually just wanted to experience this without messing up the mood with my nerves. He sat me on the bar stool, and a few times he asked me if we had certain things and asked where other things were. Before long he was finishing up a dish he said his uncle taught him how to survive on, tuna and rice.

"It's actually pretty good," he told me smiling and bringing a sample plate over to me. "But you can try it first. If you don't like it, I'll make something else."

I smiled a little as he walked over with the food on a spoon. Once he stopped in front of me, I tried to grab the spoon, but he held my hand down and slowly put the spoon in my mouth. Just as I got all the food down, I noticed the look on his face. His eyes looked gentle, but there was something else in them, too.

At that moment, I was frozen. I wasn't sure why he was looking at me the way he was. Part of me wanted to run back to the safety of my room, while part of me wanted to understand just what was going on in his head.

"You like it?" he asked in a whisper and inching even closer to me.

I couldn't do anything but nod and look down. I tried to breathe evenly through my nose, but it felt like my lungs were refusing to take in air.

"Why can't you look me in the eyes?" he asked me in that same whisper.

When I looked up to answer him, I saw him smirking, and I honestly didn't know how to take that. "I can look at you."

"Only for seconds at a time."

I tried my hardest to prove him wrong just then, but not even five seconds later, my eyes were on my hands as they sat my lap. He chuckled, and I noticed him lay the spoon on the counter next to us.

"Truthfully, I think it's cute." He lifted my head so he could see my eyes and said, "Sometimes. Other times, I love looking into your eyes."

My breathing completely stopped for a few seconds as I waited for him to do something. Inch by inch he lowered his lips to mine, and I tried to keep myself still, but I turned my head at the last minute. I figured he'd be mad, so I braced myself. He didn't say anything, though. He just gripped my chin and forced my head to stay in place.

I tried to push him away, but he held both of my hands with his right hand and cuffed the back of my head with his other to keep control of the kiss. He forced my head not to move when I tried to pull back, and his grip got even tighter on my hands. I moaned uncomfortably, and he moved closer to me, making it clearer that he wasn't about to let up. I wanted to at least come up for air, but Brentin seemed like he was in a trance of some kind. It was like he didn't even register me struggling against him or he just didn't care.

Eventually he moved to switch the position of his head, and I took that time to move my head back. He let me do that, but he stepped closer to me again and gently pulled my lips back to his.

This kiss was softer than before though, and the way he worked his lips against mine was so seductive now. My heart was still racing, but with how gentle he was being and how deliberate his movements felt—as if he had a certain way he wanted to make me feel—it wasn't long before butterflies filled my stomach.

As if on instinct I could feel myself trying to put up a wall, trying to warn myself that this was bad. My mind had already made the leap to believing my fears were coming true, but there was something else keeping me from completely losing my mind. As I was calming down, I realized I wasn't as scared as I thought I would be if this moment ever came. It was a relief that I didn't feel force, but I did feel like he was coaxing me to follow his lead.

He lightly sucked on my bottom lip for a second, and I moaned again. This time it wasn't from discomfort. I felt his tongue sweep across mine before he gave me two pecks then he started yet another prolonged kiss. I felt him push closer to me, and my body started relaxing. He must have felt me relaxing too because he finally loosened his grip.

"You're not uncomfortable, are you?" he asked with a smirk, and his lips barely parted from mine.

I didn't even say anything and kissed him again. I felt him smile, and he was about to say something else, but I kissed him to shut him up. He brought his hand that had just released mine right under my jawline and lightly held my throat, and he put a soft grip on my hair with his other hand. I held the wrist of his hand that was on my throat, and my other hand was on his stomach.

"The fuck you doing!" someone yelled at us.

"Daddy, don't say that."

I whipped around on the bar stool and found Gordon and his daughter standing in the doorway. "Gordon"—I jumped off the stool, terrified and not knowing how to explain what he'd just walked in on—"we were just . . . When did you get here?"

"Why the hell are you on her, holding her neck like that?" Gordon walked closer to Brentin, but Brentin never looked concerned.

"Daddy, only bad people use that word," his daughter admonished as she held his hand and hit his arm to get his attention.

He finally picked her up and said something in her ear before setting her down. She cautiously walked out of the kitchen and kept her eyes on Gordon, but he was too focused on Brentin.

"Don't act all scary now, partna'. You better have a good reason why you had your hand around her throat like that."

"I wasn't choking her," Brentin tried to explain.

"Not as hard as you wanted to, right? Try that shit again," he threatened.

"You think you can calm down and learn to act like a reasonable adult for once?" Brentin asked, now seeming to become agitated.

"Don't pop off with the bullshit. I'm giving you two minutes to get your shit and get your ass up out of here."

"You might want to take a few things into account before you try to kick me out. One, I'm not here for you. Two—and this is a big one—you don't live here."

"That is the truth, ain't it," he chuckled, and the smile on his face could have fooled anyone to believe he was actually ecstatic at the moment. He then took two steps toward Brentin before I jumped on him, hoping to keep him in place. I just moved with him, though.

"Gordon—" I tried to beg, but he cut me off.

"Gordon what!" he stopped moving and yelled at me. I flinched a little and backed away from the glare he was giving me.

"Don't yell at her!" Brentin tried to advance on Gordon, but I went to stand in front of him, and he stopped and wrapped an arm around my waist.

Gordon's facial expression gave away his disapproval of Brentin's actions, and I thought about moving away from Brentin to see if that would settle things down. Gordon didn't look as if that would matter, though.

"You, mother fucker," he pointed at Brentin, "better watch your tone. I'm not about to let you young dudes keep disrespecting her. I can promise you that!"

"I'm not trying to."

"I see you've worked your bullshit on her. See how she's all on you?"

"Gordon, he wasn't—" I tried to jump in, but his daughter ran in.

"Daddy!" she yelled, and before I could finish what I wanted to say, he grabbed my hand and pushed Brentin away before he started leading me to the living room. "Daddy, Neila's not here, and I hear you yelling," she cried. "I want to go home."

"Come here, baby girl," he told her, kneeling so he could hug her. "I'm sorry. Daddy's sorry. Okay?" He lifted her head from his shoulder so he could wipe her tears. "Don't cry because Daddy's acting like he's crazy. I lost my temper, but that's not an excuse to act out, and this is why. I didn't mean to make you cry. Okay?"

She hugged him again and nodded. "Stop being mean, Daddy."

He patted her back softly before saying, "Some people deserve to have people be mean to them."

"No, Daddy. I don't want you being mean."

He hesitated but finally agreed to be nice. He told her to watch TV and then put his attention back on me. "Terri, baby? What are you doing?" he asked as if he'd just caught me about to commit suicide or something.

"Nothing," I told him with a shaky voice. For some reason, I felt like I was lying, though.

"I told you about these boys out here. And I know I said I was going to ease up on you, but you need to slow down, baby. Why do you have him in there?"

"We weren't doing anything, Gordon." My voice still shook, but more than embarrassment was the cause of it now.

"He had his hand around your throat. How is that okay to you?" I couldn't even say anything to him. "Did you tell him to stop?"

"I tried to push him off but—" I stopped once I saw his eyes burn to a different and darker shade. "It's not like that," I babbled, trying to correct my mistake. I grabbed Gordon's arm and used every bit of muscle I had to keep him out of the kitchen. "Gordon, wait!"

"He put his hands on you and tried to force you to do shit?" he angrily questioned me then his eyes shot to Hayley, so he tried to bring his anger down. "He was choking you to make you do what he wanted you to do?" he asked in a lower tone.

"No," I argued. "I didn't tell him no."

He just frowned at me as if he couldn't understand me. "You can't let them use you for what's between your legs or you'll be nothing but just that. I'm being real with you. And no matter who you get with, including dude in there, that's all people are going to see you as because that's how you keep acting. Tell these dudes no, baby. You're worth more than that."

Just as I felt my heart fall out of my chest, Neila walked through the door. "You're telling me this," I barely got out between attempts to control my crying, "but you're constantly jumping between my sisters?"

"Terri, listen to me—"

I moved passed him, and he reached for me. I just dodged him and sprinted the rest of the way to my room, ignoring both his and Neila's calls for me. I wasn't in my room a good minute before Neila was in there.

"What did Gordon do to you?"

"Will you ask him to leave?" I asked through sniffles.

"That is precisely what I'm going to do. Right now," she fussed, "but not before I put my hands on him!"

I was caught off guard by Neila saying she was about to resort to violence, but my shock only lasted a second once I noticed her about to run out. "No, Neila! Brentin." I let a tear fall but quickly wiped it away. "I don't want him here anymore."

I was so annoyed, but I was hurt too. I just couldn't shake what Gordon had said to me—what he'd just assumed about me and Brentin. I felt a strong urge to run back downstairs and defend Brentin to Gordon and throw in his face that Brentin was a better man than he was—even if it was Brentin's worst day he'd still be better than Gordon.

I was just getting too upset now, and I didn't want Brentin here. I didn't know if I just didn't want him to see me upset or if I was slowly letting Gordon's words get to me. What I did know was I couldn't let Gordon—a womanizing prick—put any more pressure on me than I already had. Brentin hadn't done anything to me. Gordon had no right to put doubt in my head, and he definitely had no room to throw stones at Brentin.

Forty-Seven : Neila

"Neila, can I have another piece, please?" Hayley asked me while holding up her empty plate.

I grabbed it and brushed some of her hair back. "You just had a piece, love. I don't want you getting a stomach ache."

"Daddy always lets me have more," she said with a frown.

I just eyed her for a few quiet seconds and the frown eased its way off her face. "Is your father here?" I questioned in soft tone, and she hesitantly shook her head. "Well, when I say no second piece, that's what I mean," I told her firmly.

She just pouted and hugged my legs before letting out a little moan. "Okay. Can I go watch our movie again?"

I smiled down at her, now more than ever I was happy that I'd agreed to watch her while Gordon worked. Lord knows she'd been a comfort through this fiasco that's supposed to be me and my sisters' bonding time.

"Yes, you can go watch our movie," I answered, referring to The Princess and the Frog. "Terri, will you go set her up for me?"

Terri didn't say anything, only moped like she'd been doing for the past couple of days. I'd tried to talk to her twice already, but each time she lied about feeling ill. It broke my heart to see her getting more depressed as the days went on, and there was nothing she'd let me do about it. I had no clue how I could fix things with her, but I had a small idea on how to fix the two left in the kitchen with me.

I grabbed the ladies' plates and began doing the dishes as they just sat around ignoring each other. Dani sat at the island sipping on her rum, while Deklyne sat at the table playing with her phone.

Four times I inhaled deeply, preparing to say something, but each time my mouth snapped closed. I wanted to be understanding, but I knew the moment I started talking to them about the elephant in the room a monstrous heap of crap would hit the fan. The both of them needed to realize what was going on and how it was destroying us. Without a doubt the two of them needed to hear the blunt and uncensored truth about themselves as well as Gordon. Regardless of that however, I was more than positive that conversation would ultimately turn into a worst case scenario.

There was the off chance that getting everything out would do some good, but that could damage their relationship more or even bring unwanted grief to Hayley. That little girl did not need to overhear what I felt would stain her image of her father.

By the time I completed my Ferris wheel thought process I'd finished the dishes, and Dani finally stood up and broke the ice.

"Well, dinner was lovely, sweetheart. Unfortunately for you, I'm done with it."

"Wait." I dropped the towel I'd dried my hands with and grabbed her before she left the kitchen. "Dani, wait?" She huffed and glared at me. "Can the two of you stop acting like this, please?"

"How the fuck am I acting?" she growled

"Will you please stop cursing at me?" I pleaded, trying to show her I wasn't coming down on her.

"Neila, when I told you the only way I'd come to this is if you cut the lecture bullshit, I was serious. Period. That didn't mean wait until I'm about to take my ass home."

"I'm not trying to lecture you."

"You need to move," she demanded and arched her eyebrow at me.

"Every bit of this anger that you're feeling, it would suit you best to direct it at the one person you're angry with. He, however, is nowhere in this house."

"Why do you think you know who I'm angry at?"

"Because it's obvious!" I fussed, regretting it instantly. I checked behind me to make sure Hayley hadn't eased down the hall in order to convince me to finish the movie with her. I waited another second or two, trying to prepare myself for the aftermath of what I was about to say. "Dani, just listen for a minute? As soon as Gordon—"

"Neila, please. Alright! Get the fuck off of that shit!"

"Stop cursing!" I glowered at her, disgusted by her disregard. "You know Hayley is in the next room." She rolled her eyes at me and went back to pour herself another glass. Her display was becoming truly pathetic, but I used careful consideration with my word choice. "Your behavior has been distasteful."

"Neila, please." She turned to face me, this time an ambivalent smirk sat on her face. "We do not need to have this discussion."

"When you don't talk about concerns, they blister into even bigger problems."

"I don't have a problem, sweetheart. That's what you don't seem to understand. I'm fine. I'm not blistering, and my behavior has never changed. Dani is still Dani."

"You can lie as hard as you'd like, but you won't force any of it into the truth."

"Neila, it's a waste of time talking to her about anything. She's just going to believe what she wants," Deklyne said in a light tone. "You remember the fantasy world she made up about her and Gordon. Their relationship is supposedly doing so well, yet he and I have been . . . ," she paused with a taunting smile on her face. "Well, I've told you about our delightful affairs."

I closed my eyes and slowly let out a breath. I mouthed a quick prayer to the Lord for help as I waited for things to boil over. I wanted to slap Deklyne in the back of the head because she knew she was just inciting Dani.

"You have something to say pertaining to me, you say that shit to me, bitch!" Dani was quick and two steps away from Deklyne by the time I was able to rein her in.

"Stop it!" I spun Dani to my side and tried desperately to keep her from Deklyne. Deklyne cursed Dani under her breath, but loud enough to be heard mumbling. "The both of you!" I pointed at them as I stood between them. Deklyne merely sat in her chair, pretending to be unfazed by the raging bull on my left. "Neither one of you needs to be acting like this. We're all adults."

"Listen, _Mama Heart_ ," Dani dramatized. "Keep trying to play peacemaker," she warned me, and I felt myself becoming a little upset.

"I don't want my sisters fighting over some man, Dani. How can you be angry at me because of that?"

"I'm not fighting over him!" she barked before downing her entire drink that moments ago had been forgotten about.

"That's true. She's not even in the picture anymore. If anything she's just mad because he's not thinking about her." Deklyne muttered conceitedly.

I knew Dani had caught onto Deklyne's attitude, but before I could react, she'd already slapped then thrown Deklyne out of the chair. "You really have some balls, bitch!"

"Dani!" I pulled her away from Deklyne, but she pushed away from me. "Dani, she's your sister," I tried to plead with her.

"She a fucking slut!" she snapped.

"At least I'm not a whore who rents my pussy out," Deklyne shot back, still holding the side of her face and climbing to her feet.

"Mine has value, sweetheart. Yours is just worked. Pussy wasn't made just to get a nigga to lay up with you. Maybe if you would have been worth shit, Mama would have cared enough about you to teach you that lesson."

"Dani!" I blared. Hearing Dani say that shook my soul, so I knew it did damage to Deklyne. The look in her eyes was so full of anguish; I couldn't understand how Dani could even think to say something to cause pain like that.

"Yeah, she taught you how to be the perfect woman, huh? She taught you everything because you were her favorite?"

"Mama had no favorites. She just knew which of us would amount to something and which of us would be nothing more than a used, loose pussy bitch still living off her sister."

"Stop talking to her like that!" I felt my body shaking from the anger starting to flood through me.

"Why! It's the glorious truth," she laughed out her statement.

"Over Gordon? You talk to your sister like this over a man who's willing to throw you away to sleep with your sister? This was a bet—a stupid bet—the two of you," I waved my hands between them, "together, cooked up!"

"You think I'm pissed at her because of that nigga! Pay attention to shit, Neila! I swear, you are the ditsiest honor grad I know. Deklyne is a bitch! Class 'A' bitch. A manipulative, degrading, disrespectful _bitch_. Regardless of Gordon being in the picture right now, I want to beat her ass, one reason being the way she's constantly treating Terri, right under your sidity little nose."

"We all have our faults, Dani!" I argued, walking closer to her. "We all do! You may have had issues with Deklyne before Gordon, but you've never been so adamant with your opposition with her until this ludicrous bet. The three of us agreed to a bet to prove how little the three of us mean to that man. That's what happened, pointblank!" I took a minute to gather myself, but it did no good. I was still overwhelmed with my fury. "If any one of us meant a thing to him, he would not be running between you two! You are both being imbeciles to bicker over him."

Dani laughed now, and I had a difficult time trying to read it. I heard humor in it, but I saw her actions. My sister was holding onto something she wanted no one to notice.

"He's not running between us, Neila. Deklyne is not even a factor right now. Gordon has already proven the second I walk back in, everything else is nonexistent. Deklyne knows this, which is why she leaves those bullshit messages on my voicemail—why she's steady sending me pictures of her and Gordon together—why she's constantly calling me from Gordon's house phone to prove that she's over there. She continues to do weak bitch shit, hoping to convince me of something we both know isn't true?"

She poured another drink and downed it. Deklyne and I both just watched her as the all too familiar scene played before our eyes. It was like she was following the same script, and while I'm almost sure Deklyne didn't care to do anything about it, I knew there was nothing I could do about it. Dani was the only one who could stop this train wreck from happening.

"Like I said, Deklyne is a bitch . . . desperate for validation." She poured again and sipped, eying Deklyne as if she was trash. "Yet with all of her effort, the bitch hasn't fucked him yet. Then I pop back up one day, and he's calling me to apologize before I even make it home." She finished her drink, and I sighed and shook my head. "She can't handle herself, Neila, and she tries to cope by putting out bullshit. When have you ever known me to put up with bullshit?"

"All I'm saying is we need to be done with the bet. It's not getting us anywhere. It's doing nothing but tearing us apart, and we've been through entirely too much to let some guy do this to us. All the wretchedness, lows, and hells we've been in, this can't be the fire that we let burn us."

I was determined not to give up on my sisters. They had to realize that Gordon was nothing more than a virus sucking the life and joy away from us. As much as I'd grown fond of him, I couldn't just ignore he was the cause of this hell. This had been our third Day of Hearts that ended in catastrophe behind this same poison.

"The bet is not over, Neila," Deklyne said with venom in her tone. "She won't understand until I fuck him."

"My goodness, Deklyne!" I had to grab my own hand before it landed across her face. "It's not worth it."

"No, she's right, sweetheart. This bet isn't over until one of us fucks that nigga. As soon as we determine which one of us has him wide open, we can put this behind us." Dani eyed Deklyne in what I prayed wasn't pure loathing. "Then every bitch will know her place."

"I'm not pursuing this nonsense any further."

"You're going to ruin the fun." Dani chuckle and again poured a drink and downed it. "Besides, if you're the one that wins this, you'll keep Deklyne from going into one of her bouts of depression on account of coming up short to me for the hundredth time in her life."

"Don't try to put me in this anymore. I said I was out of it."

Once again, Dani laughed. "Fine. Just let me warn you; don't try to play peacemaker at the end of all this." She finally left the house, and I had to say I was truly relieved.

"She thinks she's hot shit because men pay her for sex? She's a fucking hooker, Neila." She sniffled and wiped tears from her cheeks. "And she has nerve to call me a bitch. She doesn't even take care of her kids!"

"Just calm down, okay?" I tried to hug her, but she moved away from me.

"I'm glad Mama didn't teach me to be some hooker begging for scraps or to be a neglectful mother. I'm a better woman than both of them, and you know it." She walked to the doorway, wobbling and looking as if her legs were about to give out. "And did you see how the alcoholic was knocking them back? Just like Mama, right?"

"Deklyne, please—"

"No, Neila." She sniffled again. "But I'm going to show her."

"There's nothing to show," I fussed.

"She'll know I'm better than her!"

"Why is it so important to bring her down?" I asked, but I was speaking to her back as she walked out. "When did this turn into a war?"

There was nothing else I could do for my sisters but pray. I never even imagined things would get this out of hand. My sisters had absolutely lost their minds. The only other thing I could think to do to fix this was to go to Gordon directly. I'd just tell him about this stupidity. Hopefully he'd be willing to listen to reason and will put an end to it. Sure he'll probably be embarrassed to learn that he's not the only player in this game of sordidness, but I'm positive he'll be able to laugh it off. He could turn any situation into a joke. I could honestly say that was something I'd grown fond of about him.

Forty-Eight : Gordon

I'd just dropped Hayley off at Mike's house, and I cussed myself for not picking up something to eat on the way back. I'd gotten better at shopping, but I damn sure didn't feel like cooking anything. I just looked at everything in my fridge and groaned before I moved on to my freezer. I could have nuked a hot pocket, but I knew that wasn't going to do much for my appetite. I just decided to wait until I went to pick up Hayley to grab us both something to eat.

Now since I had nothing to do, I just flopped down on my couch. Just as I was getting comfortable though, someone was beating on my door and ringing my bell like a maniac. For a second, I just watched the door not believing someone could have the gall to act like that. Finally, I was up and snatching open the door.

"The fuck is wrong with you!" I barked and was shocked to see Neila all puffed up.

"Do not use that language with me, sir!" she yelled back at me and pushed into my house. I didn't bother to say anything to her because it actually made me smile to see her, even with her pissed off attitude.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I tried to hug her, but she wiggled away, closed my door, and walked further into the living room.

"Do not even attempt to question that. Why would you answer your door that way?"

"Why would you come up to my door that way?" I asked her while wrapping my arms around her and then pecking her lips. She just huffed and laid her head on my chest, and I walked her back to the couch. "You always grouchy," I teased her and tried to climb on top of her while kissing her neck.

She held my shoulders, and I heard her let out a shaky breath before she pushed on me. "Gordon, stop this. I came over here to talk to you."

"I ain't in the mood to talk," I told her, maneuvering her under me and pinning her hands to keep her from pushing me away. The look in her eyes clearly showed a lust she was trying to fight, and I promised myself I'd do whatever it took to break her out of trying to fight her body's reaction to my touch.

"Gordon . . . " I caught her biting her lip as I kissed on her chest a little, and I smiled when she struggled to finish her thought. "Gordon, this is serious."

"Is it?" I kissed on her neck more, and she tried to use her legs to push me off. I just used her movements to my advantage and put myself directly between her legs.

She whimpered a little, and I moved in for a kiss before she could protest. I didn't kiss her long enough though because the second I broke it, she fussed, "Do you have to be a slut right now?" I just chuckled at her, and held her in place when she tried to get up. "A five minute conversation, that's all I ask."

I just looked down at her, but I wouldn't move. "Talk."

"This is hardly an appropriate position to hold a conversation." I sighed but finally sat up so she could get comfortable beside me. "Thank you," she said with a huff, but I just smiled at her. "Now I'm over here because I need a serious answer from you."

"Yes, I'm trying to sleep with you," I told her with a grin, but I fell out laughing after her blank stare.

"Can we save the jokes until after?"

"What is the question, woman?"

"Very well." She took a second to think about what she wanted to say then took in a breath, and I felt as if she was trying to calm her nerves for some reason. "We're both adults, and we both know the games men and women play with each other when certain feelings come about," she started, but she couldn't look at me anymore. I wanted to laugh again, but I didn't want to piss her off. "Well . . . umm . . . We've . . . Okay, let me put it this way. You know the little seduction games you play with women?"

"I don't play games, baby. I mean, I use to, so I know what you're talking about. I just don't play them anymore," I told her. I could tell she was probably trying to have a talk about what was happening between us, and the last thing I wanted her to think was that I was playing her in any way.

"Oh Gordon, please. You're playing games with my sisters," she told me matter-of-factly, and I couldn't help my frown. "They've told me."

"Told you what?"

"That you've been shopping and napping together," she said defensively.

I let her have a second so her ridiculous accusation could sit in the air and she'd hopefully hear how stupid that just sounded. "Neila, I don't nap with anybody other than Hayley. Who the hell even said that?"

"What about spending time with Deklyne at your club and the bonding time going on between you and Dani and Lexi?"

"I avoid Deklyne every time she pops up at my club, and I've only seen Dani and her daughter once after I called you to pick her up from the parking lot." I frowned again trying to figure out where all of this was coming from. "You're telling me that they're telling you all of this?" It bothered me to think those two were up to their psychotic ways, and that they were about to mess up what I had with Neila over some bullshit.

"Well, yeah. Let's be honest, it's not that hard to believe. You went after Dani pretty hard, and your attention shifted to Deklyne when she said no."

I didn't want to say anything at first because I felt some kind of speech about to take place if I said the wrong thing. She was telling the truth, and now she was probably feeling like I was just moving on to her now. Deklyne was nothing, though. I was only pissed at Dani when I was even considering her, but Neila knew I had strong feelings for Dani. I'd already talked to her about it way back when, but I didn't know how to explain to her that even though I still had some feelings for Dani, they were minor. I didn't even think it was really worth mentioning, but clearly she was concerned with the issue.

"I never wanted Deklyne," I lied only a little. I never had feelings for her would have been a more honest answer maybe.

"She said—"

"She lied," I fussed because I wanted her to just accept the truth and drop the insecurity. "You know I don't like being around her. I'm sure you remember when I called you to get her away from me."

She narrowed her eyes at me as if remembering the incident brought up her same feelings about it. "I didn't like being put in the middle like that, either."

"Get over it. It's in the past," I teased her, but she still just frowned at me. "I'm just saying, you're the only one I'm seeing on a regular basis, baby. Why would I waste my time with your sisters' drama? I like you." I pulled her closer to me and gripped her thigh. "I like spending time with you. Shit, in my mind we're already in a relationship."

"I beg your pardon?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

I laughed at her before I answered. "Think about it. Neither one of us can go a full day without at least speaking to other one on the phone. I know I would rather see you over just talking to you, and I have a feeling you feel the same way. I know for both of us, all the other has to do is make eye contact to make the other one smile. You don't just smile from a look unless there's something deeper there. I think about you all the time, and you ain't about lie and say you don't think about me. Plus I melted that hard ass exterior you use to have, so that has to mean something. And one of the most important things, Hayley loves you and you love Hayley. Every night both me and Hayley are at your home or you're here, and we're basically having family dinner." I watched her for a few minutes, and she just sat there with her cute little frown. "You're my woman; you're just too insecure and scary to accept it."

"I am not your woman," she said with fake attitude, and she turned forward, probably because she couldn't handle my stare. "Matter of fact, I could burst your little bubble right now."

"You ever thought about dying your hair blonde? That would look sexy as hell on you," I told her, trying to sidetrack her, and I pulled her to lay on top of me as I stretched out on the couch.

"What would you say if I told you this was all just a game of sorts?"

I frowned at her, not following what she was saying. "What you mean?"

"What if I said, Mr. Mack Daddy," I laughed at her when she said that, "that I just wanted to see if I could get to you? I just wanted to see if I could get you into bed with me and wanted nothing more from you." I laughed at her again, not being able to picture her, at least old Neila, doing something like that. "A laugh. I knew it. I knew you'd laugh about it."

"I'm laughing thinking that you'd actually try something like that. You couldn't do that," I told her and gently rubbed her back a little.

"I beg to differ." She tried to get up, but I pulled her back down. "I could—"

"I don't see it, baby. I mean, that's some low, immature bullshit. That's not you."

She was quiet for a few seconds then I heard her clear her throat. "I don't think it would be that bad."

"How you think? It's not like I'm some all about a good time type of dude. I'm deeper than that. Don't get me wrong though, in the right situation I'd be good with a one track mind type of female. That's not what's going on here, though. I don't treat woman who I care about like that. So if while I've been treating you with nothing but respect you turn around and game me and make me fall for you just so you can say you could do the shit, how is that not bad to you?"

"But you'd turn it into one of your million jokes," she tried to laugh it off, but I didn't find the humor.

"No I wouldn't. That ain't funny, especially after I just tell you how I feel about you. I'd beat your ass," I teased her and chuckled.

"So you can make a joke about beating on me, but you can't . . . when I say—"

"Alright. Alright. I wouldn't beat your ass, but I still wouldn't be good with that."

"Thinking about it," she said with an airy chuckle, "that does sound like some complete foolery."

"Damn real. I don't think I could even bring myself to be cordial to somebody who did that to me."

She waited again before she spoke, and "Oh," was all she said.

"Now that we have that cleared up, what you cooking? I'm hungry."

"I beg your pardon?" Her tone went hard so quick, and she had me laughing again.

"I already told you, I want my woman cooking for me," I teased her. "Now I'm hungry, so get in there and get to cooking."

"I did not come over here to cook."

"You came over here to fuss at me." I pinched her ass, and she slapped my chest. "That's all you ever do is fuss at me." She didn't say anything for a while, and I honestly would have been cool with just laying here if I wasn't so damn hungry. "Get off me," I told her and pushed her on the floor. I expected her to fuss, but the look she gave me was priceless. "Come teach me how to coo—" Before I could get my sentence out, I was sprinting to the kitchen to get away from her. Even in her heels she was quick, though, and she caught me with a two piece—one to the stomach, the other to the jaw—before shoving me into the refrigerator. "What the fuck?" I snapped as a jar of Hayley's cookies fell on the floor.

"You knocked me on the ground!" she fussed back at me. "Who does that? What mature adult does that?"

"The same kind that chases a grown man into his kitchen and tries to knock him the fuck out," I flashed on her and picked up the mess she'd caused.

"I don't like it when you curse at me," she tried to warn me.

"Too damn bad," I fussed, feeling her hits and not caring about her little threat.

It was quiet for a while, and I pulled out a frying pan and slapped it on the stove. Then I snatched open the freezer and pulled out the package of salmon I'd just bought. At first I was going to take out two pieces for the both of us, but I decided to be an ass and only took out one individually wrapped piece.

"Are you upset with me, Gordon?" Her tone was soft and unsure, but I wasn't about to say anything to her. "It isn't very polite to ignore a person," she spoke again with a hesitant tone. I just threw the one piece on the counter and threw the rest back in the freezer before slamming the door. "Really, Gordon? You're being childish right now."

"Let me punch you in the face and see how you feel," I told her and cut the salmon out of its packaging and let it drop loudly into the frying pan. I let it drop too hard though, and it bounced out and landed on the stove top. I just picked it up and slapped it back in the pan.

"Do you even know what you're doing?"

"Be quiet. Don't worry about me and my fish." I cut the stove on, and she pushed me out of the way, moved the pan, and turned the stove back off.

"You're going to ruin it, Gordon." I didn't say anything to her and just watched her as she washed her hands, rinsed the fish off, and then patted it dry with a paper towel. "And I don't know why you're so upset with me when you knocked me off the couch first."

"Now who's being immature, on that he hit me first bullshit?"

"That's because I'm around you too much. I would never act so . . . " She'd started to fuss but stopped short. "You're a bad influence on me."

"Whatever," I said, but I couldn't stop the chuckle I let out. "You still ain't have to come at me so hard, woman."

"Are you mad that a woman was able to take you down?"

"You ain't take me down." She laughed at me as she searched for something and finally came up with some olive oil. "You hurt my feelings."

"Oh Gordon, shut up." I just smiled at her and sat on the island. She was still laughing too until she turned and saw me. "I beg your pardon, but what are you doing?"

"Cooling."

"I'm not cooking for you. I told you I didn't come over here for that. I'm only helping you." She slammed the olive oil next to me then pointed to the salmon that was still in the sink. "Coat it." I just looked at her, and she threw her hand on her hip. "Lightly. After that, find a brush and lightly coat your counter top grill, then heat it. And wash your hands before you do anything."

I just huffed and jumped down, but before I did anything else, I turned to her. "How about this, you cook and I make the drinks? I'm a great bartender."

"Gordon?" she whined.

"You know I'll mess it up," I told her softly, grabbing her waist and trying to kiss her.

She just pushed me out of the way again and proceeded to make salmon with mixed veggies and noodles. It didn't take long for the food to be done, and after we were done eating, I kept the liquor coming. I knew I probably should have stopped once I realized she was tipsy, but she wanted more. I still couldn't help but feel guilty after laughing at how she was acting because I knew this was another personality. She'd striped down to her underwear and had run up to my bedroom and was jumping on the bed. Like I said, I just laughed at her ass as I stood in the doorway and watched.

"Neila baby, stop jumping. I don't even let Hayley do that shit."

She fell to the bed and started laughing. Once I started walking over to her she got on her hands and knees and started crawling towards me.

"Gordon," she called my name softly, and she had a little sly grin on her face. Her eyes looked different too. I wanted to say they were flirty, but this woman did not know what that word meant. "Didn't I tell you about that filthy little mouth of yours?" She giggled again, and I just climbed in bed to lay down.

I'd already called Mike and asked him to keep Hayley because I wasn't about to let Neila go home like this, and I knew she wouldn't have wanted Hayley to see her like this either.

"You need to calm down," I told her. She just crawled over and straddled me. I couldn't help but smile at her perky breast, but my smile left when I had to grip her waist to make her be still. "Don't start no shit, woman. I told you to calm down."

"I am very calm, love," she said with a sweet smile then she started rubbing my chest.

I just grabbed her hands to try and control her a little better. "You need to put on one of my shirts or something."

"No clothes!" She ripped her hands away from me and threw them up in the air and tossed her head back. "I'm hot, Gordon."

"That's the alcohol making you think you're hot." I had to grab her waist again when she started moving her damn hips. I was just about to cuss her because drunk or not, she knew what the hell she was doing.

"No, I am hot. Very, very hot." She leaned lower to me and tapped my nose with her pointer. "And I'm wet," she whispered.

I just laughed to myself, trying to caution myself not to take her seriously. "Oh shit," I said through another laugh. "Neila, you really need to calm down."

"Gordon," she called my name, and she sounded even more off than she already was. "I can feel your penis," she whispered again and bit her lip.

"That's cause you sitting and rocking on the mother fucker."

"I think . . . " She groaned then laid her face in the crook of my neck. "I think it's too big for me."

"Bullshit. Babies come out that _thang_. We can make it fit, gotdammit." I knew I shouldn't have said that, but it just came out. "Stop it, woman. You'll wake up tomorrow pissed at me because it will happen if you don't stop."

She just laughed, but she didn't move. "You promise?"

"See, now I'd be wrong if I just let this happen, right?" She finally sat up and shrugged at me. "You're drunk, Neila."

"No," she said and shook her head. "I'm inebriated."

"You drunk, gotdammit," I fussed and smiled, and she just laughed again.

I couldn't help but stare at her and want her right then. Shit, I was just going to have to take whatever wrath she came with in the morning. Wasn't but so much I could take, and I hope she don't think I took advantage of her because she's practically raping me as far as I'm concerned.

"Come here," I told her. My voice was calm, but I couldn't deny that I was nervous as hell. I remembered what kissing her did to me the last time; it was like getting trapped in some fantasy world.

"Why?" she asked me slyly.

"Kiss me, woman."

She leaned closer to me, grinning like she enjoyed what she was doing to me. "How many years of no sex does it take for me to be considered a virgin again?"

"Once it's gone, it's gone. Now stop talking."

Her eyes fluttered a little before she laid on me and moaned in my ear. "This was fun," she giggled.

"Ain't no damn _was_ fun," I told her gripping her thighs.

"You are a very handsome man, Gordon," she murmured drunkenly.

"I know this." I tried to reposition her but gave up after she just kept fighting me and giggling.

"I like you, Gordy." She lifted up a little and gave a breathy laugh in my face. I blinked to bring my senses back, but I didn't want to kill the mood by telling her to back the hell up with that. "I like you and your silliness. And I want"—she laughed again, and I turned my face—"I want it."

"This shit ain't cute, though."

"I'm cute," she mumbled in my neck again after she'd laid down. "I'm cute and sleepy."

"What?" I fussed at her, but she wouldn't answer me. "No the fuck you ain't sleepy."

"I'm going to sleep right here. Okay, Gordy?"

"Neila, stop playing, man." She was out of her mind if she thought she was just about to fall asleep, but she tried just that. "You don't have to be awake for this shit to happen. I want you to know that," I warned her, but nothing happened. "Neila!"

She jumped up laughing and started rocking on me again. "Okay. Okay." She smiled down at me, and her ass looked crazy as hell. "Let's do this, big boy," she said all sweet and leaned in for a kiss but burped in my damn face.

"Hell nah!" I pushed her off and sat up.

"What's wrong?" She asked and laughed, still too drunkenly happy to give a shit about what was going on. She decided to keep talking, but I just ignored her. "Gordon," she finally fussed and pulled me down to her. "I don't appreciate it when you ignore me, bitch." As hard as I tried not to, I couldn't help but laugh at her. "I do believe you owe me a kiss, sir."

I just pulled away from her, and she grabbed at my arm before I knocked her hand away. "Get off me, with your nasty ass."

"Gordon?" she whined.

"Go to sleep," I told her and turned on the TV. Before I could even figure what show I was watching, I heard her snoring. I just looked down at her and smiled before getting up to find her a shirt to sleep in.

Forty-Nine : Dani

I checked my face in my overhead mirror, knowing that it was flawless, but for some reason I still was not prepared to step out of my car. Rolling my eyes, I slammed my mirror closed and huffed. This was the third night I'd paid to park in this damn lot and the third night I'd sat in my car, not doing what I'd come for.

After sitting there for another five minutes, I turned my ignition over. I had to get out of here. I was so stupid to build myself up for this shit so many times. This was obviously something that wasn't supposed to happen. I knew better than this. Everything in my body had been fighting with me to stop myself each night I walked out of my house, but my ass always ended up in this parking lot, too rattled to step out of the car.

"Fuck this bullshit!" I hit the steering wheel before laying my head on it.

I was truly pathetic. I was being so weak, and I'd already thrown up because of my behavior four times tonight. I had to pray the crackers I'd just ate wouldn't also find their way back up. I couldn't understand why I was feeling like this, and every time I tried to figure it out, I would shut down. Then I'd find myself doing something as disgusting as I was doing now.

I let my car run for a few seconds longer before I was cutting it off and jumping out of it. After I slammed the door, I paced, trying to convince myself to hurry up and get this over with. I let out a sigh and dropped my keys in my blue clutch purse. Taking four steps away from my car, I noticed a group of females heading towards the same path I was about to take. For some reason, their dresses made me cautious of my own outfit. I knew damn well they couldn't even see my level, but that's what bothered me.

Here I was dressed like a goddess, but I was trying to force myself to believe that I was in control of what I was doing. Each night I came out here, I had a reason to dress to impress. Like now with my blue knot bust ruched dress, I knew he liked when my breast peeked out instead of fell out. I knew he liked when my back was out, and even with the halter top straps that tied and hung low, my back was in full view. The dress hugged my curves perfectly and was short enough to show off my legs, but it was long enough not to make him think I was calling attention to myself—just how he preferred. My jewelry was simple enough and gold, and my Jimmy Choos were creamish and jeweled. My entire outfit was put together for him, and that made me want to cut myself.

I didn't even give myself a chance to think before I was back in my car. I threw my purse next to me and watched it like I was waiting for my keys to jump out, start the car, and get me home all on their own. Probably ten minutes later, I heard my phone going off.

"I'm too over this shit! I'm over this!" I grabbed my phone, and it felt like a boulder hit me the moment I saw Tavaris' name flash across the screen. "This is a damn joke." I took one breath before I answered. "What, Tavaris? Why the hell are you calling me?"

"We need to talk, that's why," he shot back with slight attitude.

I was not in the mood to deal with him, and he knew it. The past eight times he'd called me I sent him straight to voicemail, but he was too stupid to pick up on the obvious. "We don't have shit to talk about," I barked at him.

He took his sweet ass time responding, but before I could say anything about it, he spoke. "Can you lose the attitude for two seconds, Dani? What I have to say is important."

I laughed, knowing everything about to come from his mouth was pure shit. "You have sixty seconds, sweetheart. You better use the time wisely."

"Okay, listen. I'm just going to cut to the chase." I heard him sigh, and I rolled my eyes.

"Your time is ticking." Even after my warning he held his tongue. "Tavaris, don't call my phone over some—"

"I love you, Dani!"

I let what he blurted out hang in the air. Hearing that word repulsed me even more than watching a weak bitch cry. That word was a lie, and this bastard of all people should have known that.

"I do not have time for that bullshit," I carefully told him, making sure to clearly speak every syllable.

"It's not bullshit. Loving someone is not bullshit!"

"You better watch your tone, sweetheart. Just because we're over the phone does not mean I'll let that slide."

"I just told you I love you and that's the reaction I get? Do you know what it took for me to finally admit that to you—to myself?"

"You admitted it when you were sexing me too. You remember that?"

"That doesn't change how I feel now."

"And what you want me to do, say it back?"

"Dani, I miss you. As hard as this is for me to admit, I miss you. You're the first woman I've ever loved. You're the mother of my child. I know you'll always be that one woman in my heart that will make me weak in the knees from just a look. Dani, I can't let you go." He sighed again, but the nausea I was feeling kept me from speaking. "What I'm really trying to say is I miss us."

"You miss us?" I questioned with anger and amusement at the same time. He had to be lying. He couldn't honestly make me believe he missed the hell we use to cause each other.

"Yes. I miss us," he fussed. "What is so wrong about missing what we use to have? What we had was good . . . when it wasn't bad at least," he added as if that part was just a footnote.

Everything of "what we had" came flooding back to my mind. We had something for sure, but it was nothing like he was trying to make it seem. What was funny is after all of this time I was finally able to see our shit for what it was. Honestly there was a time when I was actually plotting to get him back, get _that_ back, but something was different now. I saw a different truth, and I couldn't deal with that . . . lie anymore.

"You're on a fucking roll, sweetheart," I told him with a smile on my face, but my veins were on fire.

"Dani, we can get that back."

"There is nothing to get back," I laughed as I spoke to him.

"I know there is, Dani. We can go back to what we had."

"Go back to what we had," I repeated what he said in irritation. "You know what, sweetheart. I won't even correct you if you can tell me what you want from me."

"I just told you. I want us to go back to the way we use to be when everything was good between us."

"Oh okay," I laughed painfully as I feigned understanding his feelings. I felt myself lose a bit of emotional control, but I made sure to kill that shit just as quick. "You want the same. The same romantic getaways we had during college spring break?" I smoothly questioned him but thought about how they were paid for by the different rich bastards I was milking. "The crazy nights out that we sometimes could barely remember?" I teased and again thought of how the bill was footed by my intake and how the nights mainly consisted of him enjoying himself and being ignorant to the bullshit that I was dealing with, "The freaky sex—"

"Yes, Dani! I want the same shit we had back!"

I thought about reminding him about his tone, but there was only one thought my mind could focus on fully. Seconds ticked by as I tried to put things in their respective places, but something kept gnawing at me.

"Let me ask you one question, Tavaris?" I asked him, and my voice couldn't find any volume above a whisper.

"Dani?"

"You ever want more from me?"

He was quiet on his end, and that definitely was not a reaction I was okay with. "What do you mean?"

"You dumb son of a bitch! It's just like I told you! I'm just sex to you and every other nigga out here! Matter of fact, I'm sex and money to you. Don't bullshit me! You want sex? Well keep fucking that bitch you're with right now. Don't call my phone with this mess no more."

"Will you listen to me?"

"You want the same shit!" I screamed my question at him. He had the nerve to call me with this and think I wouldn't tell him exactly what he could do with his proposition?

"Dani, you know how I feel about you! I wouldn't put up with so much—"

"Fuck you, nigga!"

I hung up and shoved my phone back in my clutch. At that moment, something pushed me out of my car and all the way to the front of the line at Gordon's club. Unlike the last time I'd tried to enter, I was granted access with ease. After I'd searched the club for ten minutes, I still hadn't spotted Gordon. Mike, however, popped into my view every time I moved to a different section of the club. I was not in the mood for anything he had on his mind, so he was smart in keeping his distance form me.

Finally, I spotted Gordon behind the bar, chatting with women and fixing drinks. I took a breath to get my head together, but before I even knew what I wanted to say, my body had already led me over to him. Without a word, I stood at the end of the bar and waited for him to turn to me. When he finally did, the easy smile he had on his face faded, and I hated to admit that it bothered me. He placed the female's drink in front of her, but kept his eyes on me the entire time. I knew this was not the place to talk to him, so I left the bar to head to his office.

I made my way up his hidden staircase and waited outside his office door for him to meet me. Once he did, we both still just continued to stare at each other. I truly didn't know how to even explain the nothing that was in my head, and he looked as if me just being near him was giving him a headache.

"Gordon, can we go inside and stop standing out here for anybody to walk by and hear what we have to say?"

"If you can't control your attitude, there's no purpose to even go in there. I promise, I'm not dealing with you while I'm at work."

I just turned to his door, and seconds later he unlocked it and let me in ahead of him. Once we were settled in his office, with him sitting on the corner of his desk and me standing in front of him, I finally had something to say to him.

"Do you even realize how big of an asshole you are?" I questioned and threw my clutch in the chair next to me.

He shook his head, but he wouldn't look at me. "Danielle, I really don't have the patience for you tonight."

"Did I ask you anything about what you have patience for? I asked you a real simple ass question."

He watched me a second before he licked his lips. "Did you come here to argue with me?"

"Gordon—"

"Did you come to show off that dress?" His eyes lingered on every part of my body in silence until he finally brought his eyes back to mine. "Did you come here to enjoy yourself?"

"Gordon." I warned him. He was not about to jump off topic.

"Did you come for me?"

"You're not going to switch this around."

"Just answer the fucking question," he fussed and jumped up from his spot.

I wanted to yell at him. I wanted to break him down and put him in his place, but I couldn't. Whatever it was that always kept me stuck whenever I was around him was latching onto my ass again.

"Yes, I did," I said, and if I could have hurt myself for how weak I sounded, I would have.

He smirked at me, and that only pissed me off more, but still I said nothing. "This is the first time you've been honest about that, sweetheart."

"Gordon, I didn't come here to play games with you!" I pushed his stomach hard, and I heard him let out air as he fell back onto his desk. "Don't mock me!"

He glared at me and held his stomach, but he didn't move or say anything for a long while. "Let's just wrap this shit up before it gets too out of hand. You got all dressed up to come see me for what?" I heard the malice in his voice, and it did nothing but rock my already shaky nerves.

I rubbed my forehead, getting light headed and feeling the crackers I'd snacked on earlier finally about to come up. I licked my lips and took a breath, but I still couldn't speak. I just had to close my eyes and wait for the damn seconds to pass by and forget me. Before anything could happen though, I felt Gordon's arms around me.

"What is it that's so hard for you to tell me?" he asked, holding me and kissing the top of my head.

He held me around my waist with one arm and slowly rubbed up and down my back with the other hand. I wouldn't let my hands go around his neck, but they did make it to his shoulders. For a while, we just stood there because I couldn't look at him. I was scared of what I might see in his eyes. I just wanted him to keep me in his arms. Before I'd even let out a breath, my body had already meshed with his, so I couldn't help but think I'd made the right decision by forcing myself here tonight.

"I don't want this," I admitted to him, but I still felt as if I was a lying somehow.

"You don't want what?"

I couldn't really answer his question because I'd never let myself think long enough to figure out what it was that kept me running from him. All I could come up with was, "Why did you tell me you wanted more from me?"

I felt his body stiffen a little, and I tried to keep my mind level, but I knew things could possibly end up with me in pieces. "Because I did."

As seconds passed I tried to process the way he'd make me feel when he told me things like that, but then I realized what he'd actually said. "You did?" I questioned him and slightly pulled away from him.

He let out a breath but wouldn't look at me. "It's just a lot has gone down between—"

"That's all beside the fucking point!" I pushed him away from me, and he fell on his desk again. "After spitting that _more_ shit to me, all of a sudden you're just over it?"

It was revolting that I even felt bothered by this. This was exactly why I was taught never to put myself in this situation, and after years of perfection, I'm about to lose my sanity over a nigga I hadn't even been with.

He straighten himself and rubbed a hand forward on his hair. "Danielle, I just—"

"Want to fuck my sister!" I finished for him. He didn't even need to lie about it. "I already know that shit!"

"That's not fair," he complained, and I slapped him for it.

"Don't whine over something you decided to do."

He walked away from me, and the look in his eyes was almost laughable. I knew he was angry, and I knew he probably wanted to at least say something foul to me. I actually wanted him to so I could have an excuse to release this rage I suddenly felt surging in me. He, however, just sat on the couch he had in the room.

"You think that shit is acceptable, Gordon!"

I went charging over to him, but before I could say or do anything more, he slammed my back hard against the wall. The force created a loud boom that bounced off all of the walls, and I knew I'd feel the shit in the morning. For a second, I couldn't even move, but I don't know if it was from shock or the throbbing I felt in my back.

Gordon didn't even look remorseful; he just backed up and glared at me. That only made me more determined to hurt him, but when I went for him again, he shoved me back on the wall with the same force. This time I bounced back at him, so he had to hold me causing my back to be pushed against the wall for a third time.

"You see this shit you do! That's why I don't want to try with your ass! And the messed up thing about all of this is your sister. I care about that woman, and the last thing I want to do is hurt her. I know I have feelings for her, but whatever this is I have with you is making me worry about being with her."

I almost threw the truth in his face about that manipulative little bitch, but I had a sick feeling that the truth would turn around and bite me in the ass. "So you're with her because shit is too hard with me?"

"You don't want me," he fussed and finally let me go. "Remember?"

"Men work harder to get me just for pussy, sweetheart, but you bitch up. What does that say about you?"

"I don't have time for the games."

"You have time for her games. Deklyne doesn't even—" I almost slipped up again, so I took a breath and bit my lip to keep from talking. I had to get control of myself because I was starting to feel like I was close to begging him for something.

"I don't know what Deklyne is over there telling you, but I don't want her ass," he barked and walked up on me.

"Step out of my face," I warned him.

"Neila is the only one I want."

"Back up, Gordon!" I yelled and pushed him back. "If that's what you want, that's what you want." So Neila just wanted us to believe she wasn't bothering with him anymore, and all along it's been her I should have been worried about.

"Why are you mad at me? I did want to have something with you."

"You're talking like it's past tense. You seriously think you're allowed to tell me that I'm something of your past?"

"You are. Point blank."

"You're full of shit, Gordon! I knew that was straight bullshit coming from your mouth, and you begged me to believe you!"

"It wasn't bullshit!"

"Get the hell out of my face!" I pushed around him, and he pulled me back to him. "If you don't want my hand across your face, take your hand off of me."

He let me go, and I decided not to move once I saw him about to speak. "All I can say is as much as I regret the fact that you thought I was feeding you bullshit, I can't go back. Dani, you said you wanted sex and nothing else from me, so I moved on. I know I should have closed this chapter completely with you instead of just trying to ignore you before—"

"Fuck all of that shit, Gordon!" I nudged him further away from me. "You don't want me! Fine! What else do you want me to do, stand here and listen to you make an excuse for it?" I fussed, but I felt like breaking down.

"I'm trying to be honest. I don't want this to be a problem in the future."

I paused for a second and squinted at him before smirking. "You mean you don't want me fucking up your new relationship?" I questioned him with a fake tease. He didn't answer me, and I just laughed. "Aww, don't worry, sweetheart. You of all people should know I'll never beg a man for his affection."

There was nothing else I felt either of us had to say to each other, and I knew if I stayed there any longer, I was bound to do something I'd live to regret. However, once I noticed the bottle of Jack sitting on a shelf, I helped myself right to it. Before I could finish the drink though, Gordon was snatching it out of my hand.

"So you just want to drink the shit away?"

"Give me the fucking bottle!" I tried to rip it back from his hands, but he gripped my arm hard and pulled me back to his couch to sling me on it. "Don't put your hands on me!" I yelled, but I couldn't move anymore.

"This won't make a damn thing better, Danielle," he fussed and slammed the bottle on his desk. "You need to talk to somebody!" I wouldn't say anything else and sat determined to kill him with my silence. "Whatever." He grabbed three glasses from the same shelf the Jack was on and lined them up in front of me. I just watched him as he poured the Jack in each glass then he set the bottle behind them. "You want to stay fucked up, be my guest."

He walked out after that, and for a while, I couldn't take my eyes off the door. It was finally starting to settle in that he was rejecting me. Regardless of what I said to Deklyne, I didn't give a damn about that bet. If I could do it all again, I wouldn't have even instigated anything that would have me pitifully rotting in this man's office.

Deklyne was hell bent on this thing now, and I knew how undermining she was and how much of a liar she could be. Gordon saw that in her, and he obviously saw something more in Neila, something he didn't see in me anymore.

I wanted to be angry with Neila as much I was angry with Deklyne, but I had to be honest with myself. I knew Neila, and I knew for a fact she couldn't even force herself to attempt seducing Gordon, and I'd learn that Gordon wasn't the type to deal with hot in the ass females. Whatever was going on between them, I knew I didn't have the strength or the heart to interfere with.

Neila would never give details about what she was up to with Gordon, but I knew they were spending time together, and I noticed her change in attitude and behavior. One thing I was taught not to do and knew so many other women did was have a change in attitude and behavior when they were harboring deep feelings for a man. If Neila and Gordon honestly wanted each other that bad, how could I bring myself to step between that, regardless of a bet or anything else? Maybe Neila could prove that useless witch wrong. That was something she'd always been good at.

I reached for the first glass Gordon had poured me, but right as the glass touched my lips, I could see his eyes looking at me. I heard everything he'd been saying to me come rushing back in perfect clarity, things about my drinking, about my temper, about covering up my feeling. I didn't want to be like this. I didn't want to be like her, and after finally facing a small bit of reality, I slammed the glass down and walked out of his office. Gordon wanted more from me. He expected better of me and from me. How the hell could I give him that though?

Fifty : Terri

I jumped from spot to spot in my room, trying to hurry and get ready so Neila wouldn't lecture me on being punctual. She was giving me a ride to school today because there was no way in hell I was ever asking Deklyne to do anything else for me, and I just didn't want Brentin driving me anymore. I grabbed my bag out of my chair, and steps before I got to the door, Neila was barging in.

"I'm ready, Neila. No need for the speech."

She just put her hand on her hip and smiled at me. "I'm not about to give a speech, chillax." I eyed her, but she just went around my room to make sure everything was in order.

It bothered me a little that she still did that. Our mother wasn't here anymore, so she didn't need to make sure everything was in its right spot.

"Well, I just came in here to tell you Brentin is here. He said he was taking you." She came to stand in front of me now, and I couldn't do anything but stare at her with my mouth open. "What's wrong?"

I'd purposely been avoiding Brentin for weeks, and now here he was in my living room, waiting on me so he could take me to school. "Neila, get rid of him," I told her and threw my bag in my chair before falling on my bed.

"What's the prob—"

"Get rid of him!" I hollered at her, and she took a step back and cautiously looked at the door.

"Terri, tell me what's wrong. What happened?"

"I just don't want to be around him," I fussed.

"Okay," she responded calmly, but I saw her mind working. "Not too long ago you two were inseparable. Did he do something to you?"

I just sighed, and that's when I noticed my entire body was trembling a bit. I couldn't figure out how I wanted to answer that question. Brentin hadn't done anything to me, but it was what I knew he wanted to do that bothered me. I pulled my hair back before I finally looked at Neila to answer, but before I could, I noticed Brentin standing in the doorway. Of course, the Brentin Brow was in effect. Neila noticed where my gaze went, and she spun on her heels to stare Brentin down.

"Young man, is there something you need to tell me?" she asked with a tight tone.

"I honestly don't know. One minute we were fine, the next day she won't return my calls and runs from me at school."

"You have her running from you?" Neila blared, and I finally jumped in.

"It's not like that, Neila. I just don't want to be around him," I told her as I slightly pulled on her elbow.

"Terri, why?" he asked and stepped completely in the room. "What did I do?"

"Will you please take me to school now?" I asked Neila, determined to get out of this house.

"If that's what you want. Get your things." Neila sounded unsure, but I knew she wouldn't press the issue while Brentin was standing there. "Excuse us, young man."

"I'm not trying to upset her, Neila. I can't even explain how much it bothers me that I'm at fault in some way, and I've already been racking my brain trying to figure out what I did." Brentin tried to reason with her, and I saw Neila falling for his charm little by little. "Do you mind if I talk to her for a minute?"

"That's not up to me," she told him, but she was looking at me.

"I want to go to school," I sort-of fussed at her.

"Terri, if I did something, what good does it do to ignore me instead of tell me about it?" He stepped closer to me, and Neila actually had the nerve to step aside for him.

"Neila," I huffed, and she looked confused.

"Well just talk to him for a minute. Men do stupid things, I know that. However, if he's willing to try to make it right, I think you should at least hear him out. If it comes to it, I'm right outside." She started to tiptoe to the door, and I squeaked, but she just dismissed me with a wave and began closing the door.

I couldn't believe it. The man-hater was closing me in a room with a man whom I said I didn't want to be around. What had gotten into her?

"I'm right out here if you need me," she yelled through the door.

It was quiet for a while longer then I just flopped back on my bed. "Brentin—"

"What did I do?" He cut me off with his question, but I wouldn't answer him. For a few seconds we just watched each other then he sighed before rubbing the back of his neck. "Is it because I kissed you?" I still wouldn't answer him, and he started to pace. "I'm not going to apologize for it, Terri. You should know it's never my intention to hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable, but I know I wasn't the only one that felt something. I not going to lie by saying I'm sorry for acting on my feelings for you. . . . Because I'm not sorry."

"You know why you did that, Brentin," I fussed at him. I could still hear Gordon in my head, warning me about what males would do and say just to get what they wanted. "I'm not going to let it happen again?"

"So you're going to avoid me from now on so I won't kiss you?" I just took in a deep breath as he watched me. "Fine, Terri. I won't kiss you anymore. You don't have to pull away from me. You shouldn't feel like—"

"Will you stop telling me what I should know and how I should feel!" I screamed at him.

Everybody was always telling me what I should do or how I should act. Everyone was always trying to direct me with everything in my life as if they didn't even want me to think for myself because they knew better.

"That's all everybody does! I know how I feel, and I know what I want. I don't want to be around you, Brentin." I tried to walk away from him, but he pulled me back to face him.

"I'm not who you're mad at," he tried to tell me.

I struggled to get away from him, but he brought me right back to him. "You—"

"You're not mad at me, Terri." I decided to stop talking and struggling, and he finally let me go. "You still won't even tell me what I did." After I was quiet a little longer, he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me to him then held my chin to make me look at him. "Tell me why you don't want to be around me."

"Because you just want to . . . " After I couldn't figure out what I wanted to say, I just quit talking.

"You know you have to talk to me, right?" he asked me with a smirk. "When people are in a relationship, the only way to make it work is with trust, understanding, and communication."

I looked up at him, a little shocked at what he'd just said. "What did you say?"

"Couples only build strong relationships when they actually work at it."

"Why are you saying that like it has relevance to us?"

He just smiled at me for a while then leaned down to kiss me softly. "Because I don't want to hide how I feel about you anymore, especially not from you. We may not be in a relationship now but I feel that step is just around the corner for us."

"Brentin, people who are in relationships—"

"Know how to make each other happy, they know when the other is upset or hurt, and they always do their best to show how much they care about each other." I didn't say anything and just sighed before resting my head on his chest. "Do you know how much I care about you?"

"Is it enough not to force me to do what you think is right or what you think I should do?"

The moment I got my question out, he held me away from him and looked down at me with a frown. "Terri, I would never force you to do anything you don't want to do." I just looked at him, and it felt as if his eyes were searching for something. "That's the reason you were avoiding me? You thought I would force you to do things?"

I still wouldn't answer him, so he brought one hand to my cheek and let his thumb slide back and forth on it. The way he looked at me now made me feel warm, and his eyes almost made me believe that he wanted to protect me.

Before I could get lost any further in his gaze, I felt his lips pressing against mine, and I couldn't even describe the feeling he was building inside of me. My knees were growing weaker, but I felt as if my heart was growing stronger with each second. Finally, he pulled away from me and continued to stoke his thumb on my cheek.

"You mean too much to me for me to ever make you feel like what you want isn't important."

I tried to keep my smile in, and I knew it made me look goofy, but I couldn't help it. "That's nice to hear."

"I guess I'll have to work a little harder to make you feel it though, huh?" he asked with his own smile and wrapping me in his arms again. "So can we go back to seeing each other or are you still going to avoid me?"

I laid my head on his chest but only for a short while, remembering him saying he liked to see my eyes. I giggled once I saw him still smiling at me. "I guess we can see each other again."

"I want to ask you to be my girlfriend."

I got nervous at the sound of that. It was a little difficult to accept the responsibility of a girlfriend, especially since I was already having trouble with just being his friend. The silence built, and I tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let me.

"Is that a no?" he asked, and I could tell he was trying to sound lighthearted, but his tone was bleak.

"Why do you want that?" I tried to move away again, but he still held me.

"I already told you, so you tell me why you don't want that."

I couldn't put my thoughts into words, but Brentin still waited for me to try. Finally I said, "Relationships usually don't work out for me." I'd never been in an actual relationship, but the relationships I'd had with males were always hell. I didn't want that with Brentin. "I don't want that now . . . with you. I like this." I wrapped my hands around him tighter and this time kept my head on his chest.

After a while I felt him stroking the top of my head before he kissed it. "Okay. I won't rush you, but you can't push me away either."

I didn't say anything else, but I hoped he knew I agreed to his request. Staying in his arms like that was all I really wanted to do, but he let me go, grabbed my bag, and led me out of my room. There, we caught Deklyne slamming her door in Neila's face. Neila looked a bit shocked, and I thought I heard her gasp.

"Well, you're no pot of peaches either, Deklyne!" she fussed and threw her hands on her hips. "And I seriously think I should question your intelligence."

Deklyne's door swung back open and there the demon was. I was expecting eyes of daggers and venom spewing, but she just had a satisfied grin on her face. "I know exactly why you want this over."

"Well, I just explained it to you, and it wasn't in code," Neila shot back and crossed her arms. "If you hadn't figured it out, then I would have really had to question your brain function."

"Ha ha. Very funny. Just remember, time's ticking," Deklyne said and tapped her wrist. "Enjoy Gordon while you still can."

"You need to stop this garbage, Deklyne," Neila fussed.

"Not until it's over."

Neila huffed and threw her hands up. "I give up. You're just reckless, Deklyne." She stomped away from Deklyne and paused at us once she made it over. I could see the frustration in her eyes, and the second she looked back at Deklyne, Deklyne slammed her door. "Well . . . " She looked Brentin up and down, and I prayed she wasn't about to take out on Brentin whatever anger she still had with Deklyne. "Would you like to excuse yourself out of my way, Brentin?" she asked in a tight tone.

"I'm sorry," he said to her and slid closer to me.

Again she just stared at him then she looked at me. "I suppose the two of you have worked things out?" Brentin didn't answer, and I just nodded. "Excellent. May your day be pleasant."

She finally walked away from us, and Brentin laughed before holding my hand the rest of the way to his car. On our way to school, I kept taking glances at him, and I couldn't help but smile. It just felt so good to be in his presence again, and it started to make me wonder if I'd made the right decision.

I knew I'd always wanted a real relationship. Every time I was with either of the assholes I was with, I'd always wish it was more than what it was. I knew Brentin wasn't like any of those guys. He was so much better. He'd never made me feel the way they had. With Thomas and Kevin I was property. How I felt and what I wanted didn't matter. They kept me in this common place that I'd been so use to all throughout my childhood.

With Brentin though, what I felt when I was with him was amazing. I'd never felt more cared for, and he always had an incredible way of making me feel as if I was the most important thing to him. He was like my own personal breath of fresh air, and that's why I wanted to protect what we had.

I really was trying to let my guard down, but I could only do it a piece at a time. With anybody else, I would be moving too slow, and I couldn't even explain how lucky I felt that Brentin was willing to wait for me to get myself together. Thinking about it . . . I guess that's all that really mattered: how he was willing to treat me and how he'd proven he'd treat me.

"Brentin," I called him softly, feeling my stomach dance around as I was thinking about what I was setting myself up for.

"Yeah?" He shot his eyes at me twice as he navigated through the parking lot to find a spot.

"If we were in a relationship, what would change?" I finally looked at him, and he smiled but wouldn't look back at me.

"Nothing, I guess." He was quiet for a few seconds then glanced at me. "You'd have to kill that _'_ _don't kiss me anymore_ _'_ nonsense, though."

I smiled and looked down at my lap just as he parked and cut the car off. We just sat there for a quiet moment until he called my name. I hesitated only a split second before turning to him, and he leaned over and kissed me. It wasn't a short kiss either, but I think I got into it a little more than he did. He finally pulled back from me and laughed.

"We have to go to class first, Terri. Unless you want to skip it."

I laughed at him when he licked his lips at me. "I never miss class," I turned to open the door then stopped, "but we can go to your house when we leave."

He smirked at me before getting out and coming over to my side. After waiting for me to get out, he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and kissed me again while we were walking to the building. I figured he was the affectionate type because he wouldn't let me pull away from him, and I just laughed about it and stayed right under his arm.

Fifty-One : Neila

Luke sat relaxing in my office, and he seemed to be in a better mood than I'd seen him in the past couple of days. He'd been working on six contracts, and somehow he'd managed to close all but two of them. Usually it would bother me when he couldn't keep his success to himself, but I actually didn't mind his gloating.

"So now, I'm definitely looking at that promotion. Looks like I've caught up to you, Wonder Woman."

I just giggled at his banter and relaxed in my own chair. "Don't you think it would benefit you to slow down?"

"You'd like me too, wouldn't you?" He squinted at me in question, and I laughed at his accusation. "You want to be seen as the only hard worker here, huh?"

"Not at all, my friend." I chuckled again. "I just think it would do you some good to relax. Go out a little more," I suggested, and he just smiled at me.

"You realize the roles have reversed?" he asked and waved his hand back and forth between us.

"How?"

"Oh, don't give me that, Neila," he laughed. "I use to come in this same office and give you speeches on taking breaks, and you never listened."

"Well, expert . . . Why are you overworking yourself? I doubt you're even home much nowadays."

He looked down for a second and shrugged before he made eye contact with me again. "I have peace—uhh—enjoy myself when I'm at work—when I'm working." He cleared his throat and straighten his tie a little. "And I'm not overworking myself."

"Really, Luke?" I asked dully and sat up. "Look at you. You're practically white now. Where's your tint? You haven't seen sunlight in only God knows when." The look on his face was one in a million after I said that, and I completely fell out from laughter.

"What kind of thing is that to say to someone?" he asked with little confidence in his tone, and I laughed harder. "Neila, what has gotten into you?" He finally cracked a smile, and I laughed more at how goofy he looked. I considered teasing him about the smile I use to hate to see, but I didn't want to be too mean all in the span of one hour. "I hope you feel good about yourself," he joked.

"Oh, I feel fabulous."

I wiped at a few tears that had built in my eyes, and as my last bit of laughter died down, Gordon and Hayley walked in my office. The second Hayley and I made eye contact, I smiled at her causing her to sprint over and jump in my lap. I groaned at the force in which she landed, but I hugged her to me and kissed her cheek.

"You're late, young lady."

"I know, but we had to find the right outfits, and we had to match." She brushed off and straightened her pink shirt and gray pants, and I eyed Gordon, who was dressed accordingly.

"Hayley, listen to me." She bounced for a little bit, so I held her still then she put her eyes on me. "I don't want you getting in the habit of being late. That's not professional and it's not very considerate to the people you have waiting on you. Do you understand?"

"But we had to look nice."

"That falls under preparation, missy. You should always have your things prepared. It makes everything better, easier, and more organized."

"Neila, calm down. That's grownup talk," Gordon tried to hush me up, but I silenced him with just a glare. He gave me a pitiful look and then began playing with his phone.

"This is a talk everyone can listen to, including you, Hayley. How would it make you feel if you were taking a trip to Disney with me and your father, and you were so excited to go," I bounced her on my legs and swung her back and forth a little, "you were ready to see Mickey Mouse and all the princesses," I described excitedly, and she squealed in delight, "and you were going to ride the rides and watch the parades? You were going to have a blast!" I giggled with her. "But what if you couldn't do all you were hoping for because I was late, so that made us leave late, get to the park late, then we'd have to stand at the end of all the lines, and then because we've been at the end of the line, some things close before we could get to them. That would make you sad wouldn't it?"

"Well when we go, you should be on time," Hayley told me matter-of-factly, and Gordon laughed.

"Hayley," I warned her, and she pouted.

"I know," she groaned. "I should be on time, too." I kissed her forehead, and she perked up again. "But don't me and Daddy look nice?" she beamed and looked at Gordon.

"Yes. You both look very pretty in pink."

"Hey," Gordon called to me in defiance. "I'm secure in myself."

I just laughed at him and tapped Hayley's thigh indicating for her to jump down. She did so, and as I grabbed my purse my eyes landed on Luke. That's when I'd finally realized how quiet he'd been. "Luke, I'm sorry. I did mention that Gordon was meeting me for lunch, didn't I?"

"No, actually you didn't." His tone was a bit short, and I watched him in slight puzzlement. He wouldn't move, and his eyes never left me. I felt something was suddenly off with him, but he wasn't frowning or coming off upset . . . just distant.

"Daddy, why is your office so small? Neila makes more money than you?"

"That's none of your business," Gordon grumbled and tossed Hayley on my couch. She just laughed before rolling to the floor. "Get up, girl." A smile was on his face, and I knew had we been elsewhere or even just alone, he would have been rolling on the floor with her. Instead, he just walked over and picked her up. "You ready, Neila?" he finally asked, ignoring Hayley as she continued to taunt him about his smaller office.

"Well, I guess so." I waited on Luke, but he still didn't move. "Is there something else, Luke?"

He finally stood to his feet and buttoned his suit jacket. "I would like to speak to you. In private," he added and looked at Gordon.

Gordon just chuckled and winked at me. "Don't be long, baby," he said before leaving.

"So what is it you need to speak with me about?"

"Would you care to explain why you're spending time with his daughter now?"

"Excuse me?" I asked, not understanding why he felt he could question anything I did.

"You think that's wise? I mean, you don't even know this guy."

"I know him well enough," I griped.

"So you're fine with playing house with this man and his daughter? Do you know what comes along with a man in his situation? Is that something you seriously want?"

"First of all, you have no right to even bring this topic up. Whatever I do on my personal time is my personal business."

"I just don't get why you're constantly with this guy."

"It's really none of your concern—"

"Seriously, Neila. He's in your office every time I look up, and you're even falling behind on some of your projects with this obsession you're growing for him."

"Obsession? Do you hear yourself?"

"What would you call it? Every day you're either on the phone with him, he's bringing you lunch or you're going out—for much longer than your usual time. Since when did the workaholic decide two hour lunches were more productive than your thirty minute breaks—the ones you could never spare for anyone else?"

"You're exaggerating, Luke. I have never been derelict in my duties, and I am not—" I tried to set the record straight, but Luke seemed to just be getting warmed up.

"Not until you let this guy get in your head. Entering so casually into a relationship with someone like him is not like you or at least the person you use to be. You're usually so careful and guarded with your behavior, maybe even too guarded. For him, however, you've completely thrown caution to the wind."

"Are you actually lecturing me on—?"

"You're taking this . . . this . . . " he struggled to find a fitting word, " _situation_ with this guy into a realm you have no business. You haven't even given yourself time to figure out if you really like him or if he truly cares for you. I'm sure you recall your desperation to change yourself only to appeal to his wants, and now you're—"

"Luke, that's enough!"

I'd had enough of his badgering and his intrusive behavior, but I couldn't deny that my anger came from my own thoughts. I had found myself growing ever closer to Gordon and Hayley, but now I felt myself suffocating from an overwhelmingly daunting feeling. Right now Luke was helping me see how acquainted with Gordon I'd truly become, and I just couldn't make sense of how what he was saying was coming dangerously close to the verity.

"Neila, I only want what's best for you."

"I can appreciate that, but I really would like for you to back off. You have as much right to question and dictate my life as I do yours." He clenched his teeth and sighed, but he eventually nodded and stepped aside.

As angry and unfazed as I appeared, I was anything but. Luke's attitude and words sat deep in my thoughts, and I knew my head would not be clear until I could explain to him that I was merely enjoying a few brief interactions with Gordon and his daughter. There was nothing grand or monumental going on with us. There was no life changing event I was entering into "so casually" as he put it.

_Obsessed with Gordon?_ Was he serious? Was it so wrong to have lunch with a . . . _friend_? Was is not him who had been trying to get me out to dinner, which he did before he left me stranded because his fiancée had caught him? Yet because I choose to spend my meals with someone who doesn't have to lie about his whereabouts, I'm obsessed? I'm taking things into a realm that I have no business?

I continued to try to justify my actions to myself, taking notes on what I'd tell Luke the next time I saw him. However, I couldn't get anything I was saying pass the concerns he had already placed on me.

Gordon and Hayley were both waiting by the elevators, and he pecked my cheek after scanning me over. Neither of us said a word; however, and I was thankful. Once we were finally in the elevator, Hayley knocked Gordon's hand away and pressed the button before laughing.

"If I press all the buttons, we'd stop on every floor?" she asked, with her little fingers poised to press away.

"The key is to press the buttons so when you get off, the elevator will stop on all those floors," Gordon informed her. "That way it won't hold us up, but we'll know someone else will have a nice long trip. That is the beauty."

"Do not encourage her," I fussed and pulled Gordon back from actually about to assist Hayley in her juvenile game. "Hayley, do not press those buttons."

"But it won't hold us up," she whined and quoted her father.

"What did I just tell you about being considerate of others?" I lightly scolded her, and she pouted. I rubbed her cheek, hoping to let her know I wasn't mad at her.

However, my attention should have been on Gordon. He'd pressed two buttons before laughing.

"Gordon!" He only responded by continuing to laugh and running his fingers up the remaining buttons for the three floors below the garage level we'd be getting off on. "Gordon, get in the corner!"

I pointed to the opposite corner, and he hung his shoulders and looked at me with his own pout. I just glared at him, and he finally started to walk to his assigned spot.

"When are you going to grow up?" He only laughed once more, and put his hands up to protect himself when I advanced on him. "You should be an example for Hayley, not another playmate."

Just as I said that, I heard Hayley laughing as she ran her hands on the only buttons she could reach, which happened to include the floors we were just coming up on. I just sighed as the elevator came to a slow stop. The ding ringing inside the elevator caused my eye to twitch, and I just licked my bottom lip before biting it to keep myself quiet.

Time passed with the doors standing open and no one entering or leaving, and there were also small chuckles coming from Gordon and Hayley. Once the doors finally closed, the same happened for the next three floors until we reached the garage on level six. There Gordon picked Hayley up and grabbed my hand to lead me to his car.

In no time, Gordon and I were sitting at a table in the park, snacking on our meals from Beiley's, and Hayley was running around trying to catch the imaginary "Hayley Flies" Gordon had just created for her. He told her if she caught enough of them, she'd have enough for a Hayley Fly Crown, and she'd be their princess for a week. I just smiled at her as she jumped through the air, excited when she either caught one or came close to catching one.

"See that?" Gordon asked me while grinning at Hayley. "That's how you keep them occupied, baby."

"So instead of making that entire story up just to put a smile on your daughter's face, you did it to keep her busy and out of your way?"

"Damn real," he said with pride. "And I'm waiting to be thanked."

I could only laugh at him. "I am not going to thank you. We're supposed to be eating together and enjoying this time with one another."

"What, as a family?"

After his question, I felt a little bothered for some reason and shifted in my seat. "I never said that," I expressed in a low voice, unsure of how to proceed with him.

I couldn't explain where these sudden nerves had come from, but something began to feel disconcerting with me. Of all of the things to say, why would he question such an absurd thing?

_A family?_ Where did that come from? I'd already conceded that we had been spending a rather large amount of time with each other, but as I said it has always been harmless. The three of us had all dined together previously with no issue. Today should have been no different. It was no different, at least not to me.

As I thought this, my mind continued to slip back to Luke and his ramblings from earlier. It was only Luke and Gordon drumming up this nonsense: Luke with his exaggerations and Gordon with his ridiculous jokes about families. There was nothing monumental happening in either of our lives because of these particular outing. We were not acting like a family, and I was not obsessing over spending time with him.

He took a second to analyze me, further making me uncomfortable then he let out a soft chuckle. "I know. I was just messing with you." He paused again, still watching me, and I took a much need gulp of my drink. "But for real though, you get to go back to work. I have to sneak in a busy game or two whenever the hell I can. She plays too much."

I let out my own chortle, primarily out of relief than humor due to the more settling direction of the conversation. "Oh please, Gordon. You do nothing but goof around, so where do you think she gets it from?"

"Whatever. At least now we have some time alone." He leaned toward to me to wrap his arm around my shoulders and hug me to him for a moment.

Though the moment was brief, I had to admit it was nice. The way he looked at me afterwards, however, put a nagging feeling in my gut.

"I caught them, Daddy!" Hayley ran over in jubilation, and Gordon scooped her up to sit next to him. "I got a lot of them." She carefully opened her hands, which she was hugging to her body. "Oh," she cautioned and gently placed one back in her protective nest that I assumed was trying to get away.

"How many do you have, baby girl?"

"Seven," she said happily.

"You're almost there. You need three more, though."

"Really?" She looked back, I figured to check and make sure enough were still flying around. "Okay, I see them. Hold these." She passed her collection off to Gordon, and he took each one just as carefully as she'd handed them.

"Now, where were we?" he asked as soon as Hayley ran off.

"That was so adorable with you and Hayley." I couldn't help the swell in my chest each and every time I got to witness up close the bond they shared. There was a part of me which almost believed being an audience to that filled something in me, but I couldn't make sense of it.

"Woman, I'm not talking about me and Hayley right now. This is about us, lil' mama," he teased with his southern drawl, and I merely shook my head at his antics.

"Your attention should be on your daughter."

"She good for at least another fifteen minutes."

"I got them, Daddy!" Hayley screamed and Gordon paused but kept his eyes on me. I just chuckled at him because I could see slight annoyance in his eyes.

Hayley was back over in seconds, and before Gordon made her crown he made up an elaborate story of how it had to be made. Then he explained in the meantime they should play the game she loved to play at her grandmother's house: Hide and Seek. Again Hayley went scurrying off, and Gordon was right back at it.

"What I told you? That girl has energy for days." I just smiled at him, and he watched me for a while before leaning over and kissing my cheek. "I really enjoy spending time with you, Neila." He whispered on my neck, and I was immobile for seconds as I felt a familiar feeling slide up my spine. "What about you? You like spending time with me?"

Just that quickly, Gordon had shifted our entire atmosphere. I let out a slow breath to calm myself down, but it didn't work. Nothing could work to unnerve me at this moment, and the fact that I couldn't understand where this was coming from rattled me more.

This was the third time today my nerves had been shaken, and though I wanted to admonish myself for allowing the first two episodes, I couldn't help but feel a slight excitement this time.

"I don't think this is the place to talk about this," I said to him, quite possibly with my nerves on display.

"Talk about what?" he asked and slid closer to me. I felt him wrap his arm around my waist before he placed a soft kiss on my neck. "I just asked a simple yes or no question."

I let him linger near me for a short while longer then I pushed him back. I had to pull myself together, and I couldn't think straight with him being so close to me. "Your company is satisfactory," I explained to him in a bit of a raspy tone. "Could you pass the ranch sauce, please?"

"Bullshit. It's more than satisfactory," he told me with a smirk. "Last time you were at my house things almost went down—"

"I was drunk, Gordon," I fussed, feeling my cheeks burn in embarrassment. That was surely an event that I wished he'd forget. From his laughing however, I knew that memory was now imprinted on his brain for a lifetime.

"You stripped," he taunted me with glee illuminating his face.

"My central nervous system was altered."

"You wanted the dick, but you said it was too big."

"Gordon!"

"You're really going to blame it on the alcohol?"

I squinted at him as I tried to hold my ground, but I started frowning the more I thought about this situation between us.

"Fine," he interrupted my thought, "that night the liquor got the best of you, but you weren't drunk every time we've been together. So tell me, woman, do you enjoy spending your precious time with me?"

Save that one bad night where I'd lost my mind by drinking more than I should have, the time I'd spent with Gordon was quite pleasant. It was possibly even the highlights of my more recent days, and because of that truth I could no longer control my anxieties. Having him place that realization on me was unsettling. The only thing I could think to do was take a bite of my wing.

Gordon just sat there waiting for me to answer, and I shrugged before saying, "I think . . . I will . . . admit that I might like you—your . . . the time we spend together," I said blushing. "I've found myself looking forward to it often times," I said, hoping that admitting it would take some of the sting away.

"Neila, stop acting like a fourteen year old."

I nudge him a little with my shoulder, and he chuckled at me. "I am not acting like that."

He just slid back in place next to me, and I gave him a side-eye. "I want a kiss," he demanded, and as I felt another wave of heat rise in me I tried to take another bite of my wing, but he knocked it out of my hand. "You heard me."

"That is hardly a respectable thing to request of someone, sir," I angrily fussed. Strangely my feelings weren't due to his question, however. To be completely honest, my own swaying thoughts his question stirred in me caused my irritation.

"I'm not trying to disrespect you, and you know that," he smirked at me, ruffling my feathers more because I had a feeling he knew my true feelings and thoughts.

"So you now say, but we're in a public place and you ask me such a thing as that?" I scolded him.

"So is that the only problem? Would you rather find a more secluded spot, a private room perhaps?" He only appeared to be enjoying himself more the further the conversation went.

"That is absolutely not what I would rather." My attitude became a little snippier and my tone even tighter as I felt my head beginning to flush.

I couldn't explain why I was behaving this way, why I suddenly felt so out of character, so out of sorts. This entire outing was beginning to become too much for me. First he questions me about a family of all things, then he suggests I wanted to start a sexual relationship with him, and now he's demanding that I give in to his sexual advances. We had definitely crossed a line. He'd crossed a line, and I needed to put a stop to this.

"Good because I've always wanted to have sex in a park," he whispered and leaned in towards me. "Now that sounds exciting, wouldn't you say?" he asked hotly while running his lips along my neck. "Something tells me sex with you will always be exciting though no matter where it is."

"Gordon?" I called him with a shaky voice.

"I know I damn sure can't wait to find out."

The moment he said that I couldn't stop the images of him and myself . . . together . . . somewhere dark . . . and warm . . . and naked. I felt my body tremble, and I was almost positive he felt it as well. All the self-control I thought I'd ever had felt as if it as being snatched away all because of the way he let his lips play on my skin and the thoughts his words continued to provoke in me.

"I really think I'd need liquor to help me sleep with you," I admitted to him before I could think about what came out of my mouth.

Why would I tell him that? I had no plans of ever sleeping with this man. That was part of that idiotic bet that I no longer had any care for. I was in this for . . . for . . . company? His company, right?

I mean it wasn't as if I wanted things to progress any further than this, the state in which we were currently in. Our outings were . . .

Friends! That's what he said, wasn't it? We were friends. Friends go out with each other. They have outings and find each other's company satisfactory, but they didn't sleep with each other.

"Because you're scared of the dick," he smirked back at me, and I slapped his chest. "What, woman?" he fussed a little.

"I told you about your crude language. Do not speak to me that way."

"Why are you always trying to change the way I talk?" I wouldn't respond to him, and I think he finally noticed how on edge I'd become. "I was only joking around. I'm sorry, baby."

I remained in my thoughts, and before long I felt his hand massaging my back. As much as I didn't want it to, his touch was actually calming me, and again he smirked at me as if he could read my thoughts and emotions.

Regardless of my best efforts, I smiled at him. I wish I hadn't though because he licked his lips at me causing my attention to divert there. Again my thoughts landed me in territory that I had no business in, but all I could think was some friends kiss each other.

Don't they?

His lips really were quite attractive.

What in God's name was going on with me?

Before I could wage war with myself anymore, Gordon leaned over to kiss me. It was just a peck, but once he saw that I was a bit too dazed to put up resistance, that was his green light. He moved to me, pressing his lips to mine, and I could feel his hand running up my thigh.

Even though I felt butterflies filling my stomach, I didn't want him to stop. I liked this feeling he was giving me, but when he slipped his hand under my skirt, I couldn't quiet the panic I felt and held his hand to stop him. Twice I tried to speak, but he kissed me to delay what I wanted to say to him.

"Can I speak, please?" I asked as I held him back and dodged his third attempt.

"Only if you admit I'm your man," he said, going for another kiss.

I slid away from him, and he followed me. "Can you—"

He pecked me, and now I was only becoming angered. "Say it so we can fuck."

"Gordon," I warned him.

"Oh yeah. I mean so we can make love," he said, and he sounded so banal. I wouldn't say anything, and he tapped my nose with his finger. I merely gave him a side-eye but still held my peace. "Neila, I really don't want this coming between us anymore. I want to hear you say it, baby." He leaned towards me again, but I moved my head back. "You're really going to make me beg?"

I just shook my head at him as he continued to watch me. "Gordon, we're . . . friends. That's what you told me," I said, pushing on his chest.

"Yeah, a long ass time ago when I was trying to get you comfortable with being around me."

"Well now I am comfortable . . . with being friends." I couldn't look at him anymore. "I . . . I like where we are. I've . . . I've . . . " I couldn't find the words I wanted to say to him, and he placed a finger under my chin to make me look at him. "I've never had this with anyone, and I like this. This is good for me."

He watched me a second or two with a thoughtful frown. "Friends?"

"I don't know how to be anything more," I spoke for a second time without thinking how what I said would sound.

"Yes you do," he told me matter-of-factly and stroked my cheek, "and you are." Before I could respond he kissed me again, sweetly. "You can call this a friendship if you need to, but I know the truth." He gave me his smirk and held my arching back. "And so does your body."

I pulled away from him as he chuckled, and I couldn't help the small smile that played with my lips. However, my smile was out of embarrassment and agitation with myself. "Are you really going to allow your daughter to play hide and seek in a public place like this?"

"We play all the time," he said and tried to distract me with more kisses.

"Yeah, you played at her grandmother's house, but do you think it's smart to play that game here, in such an active yet secluded environment, especially knowing how often little girls—"

I didn't even have to finish before he was up and in search of Hayley. I had to admit though, I was missing his kisses. I could only hope continuing on with this friendship was the right thing after on more than one occasion he's tried to take this further. What I wished he would understand was a friendship was safe. That's what we'd learned so far. There were no hopes in that, no expectations. The logistics of how this thing was actually supposed to work, I hadn't figured out completely. However, it was working. We were working.

What he was proposing I was almost certain would result in the same failure I'd mastered avoiding all of my life. What I was positively sure of though, was being with him in the parameters that we currently had felt . . . good. I'd never had anything even remotely close to this in my life, and I couldn't fathom how one person could affect such a change in my thinking. I had no great expectations of him, and he exceeded everything that I'd thought of him.

Unfortunately, I feared hope was starting to creep its way in. Everything I've ever lived by was absolute and definite. There was no room for hope, not then or now.

Fifty-Two : Terri

I smiled at Brentin as he walked around my room looking for his phone. I told him I was going to hide it if he didn't quite with that stupid Candy Crush, but he thought I was joking. After a few more minutes, he turned to me with a frown, and I just laughed at him. I thought he was so cute when he was annoyed, and I was about to tell him where his phone was, but he ran and jumped on the bed, pinning me beneath him.

"Where's my phone, Terri?" he asked and smirked at me.

I smirked back at him and wrapped my legs around his waist before saying, "I don't know."

"Don't lie to me."

I giggled at him and squeezed my legs a little. "Fine. I know, but I'm not telling."

"I want my phone," he said in a playfully threatening tone.

I wouldn't respond to him, so he leaned down and started nibbling on my ear. My body reacted to his lips almost instantaneously as I felt small shudders throughout my body. He whispered a few more words to me, but my clarity left me after feeling his touch. His lips trailed from my ear to my neck, and when I felt his tongue brush against my skin, the throbbing between my legs intensified.

I tried to wrap my arms around him, but he kept me pinned to the bed and continued to do as he pleased. I let him keep me subdued for the time being, but I knew it wouldn't be long before my body resisted me just lying still and taking what he gave.

Slowly, he kissed his way to my jawline then he hovered over me, piercing me with his magnetic eyes. I felt his hand move up my stomach and linger on my breast for a moment then he brought it up to trace my lips before he kissed me.

Long before this moment, Brentin's kisses always made me weak, but in this moment, there was something about his kiss that heightened every one of my senses. There wasn't a part of my body he could touch that didn't turn to fire on contact. With how close his body was to me, I could smell the citrus, woody fragrance of his Hugo Boss right down to the smallest apple scent undertone. I could even taste the faint remnants of the Flare 5 gum I made him spit out earlier because he was smacking on it. He'd just awaken every part of me.

While we kissed, he moved my legs from around him and started unbuttoning my pants. He was so fluid in his motions, and without much help from me, my pants were off and tossed away without a second thought. Both of our shirts were the next to go, and before he could control me with his lips again, I made him strip completely naked, and I did the same so there wouldn't be anything else in the way.

He was faster than me though, and I was a little caught off guard when he grabbed me and pulled me under him again. The smirk on his face made me giggle, and I could tell he was trying to warn me about something. This wasn't about to be our first time together though, so I pretty much knew what to expect. Still, knowing didn't take away from the shock my body felt once I felt him pushing in me.

I took two deep breaths as I forced my body to control itself as best I could, but not even a good five minutes in, I was moaning out his name as I felt him going deeper and kissing on my neck. He moved his positioning just slightly, and I bit down on his shoulder because even just with him doing that it caused a feeling of ecstasy to roll throughout my body.

With each one of his movements it felt as if he was determined to get me to that breaking point, where my whole body would feel the rewards of his hard labor. And even though I was blissfully aware that he didn't need any instructions on what to do, I did get bored quick with the missionary position we were in.

"Brentin, wait," I said in a whisper, and he looked at me but didn't stop. "I want to try something different."

He still wouldn't say anything, but he let me put him on his back. That's when I sat in a reversed straddle position and slid down on him again. I heard him groan as he gripped my butt, and I smiled to myself.

One thing I could say about myself was that no matter how timid I ever was to the outside word, in the bedroom it was like I became a whole different person. I started off moving my hips slowly at first then I sped up as his grip moved to my calves and got tighter.

Moans slipped from my lips as I felt him starting to get into things more and trying to outshine my efforts. I leaned forward to give myself better balance, and he held my waist and started bringing me further down on him. He pushed his hips into mine, and though I tried my hardest to keep control of the rhythm, I threw my head back and clawed at the sheets as I found myself surrendering to his power.

Even though I couldn't see his face, I knew the look in his eyes was one of dominance, and imagining that was more of a turn on than I thought it would be. The muscles in my stomach began to contract, and I knew it was time to switch positions before I became too comfortable with this one.

"Wait, Brentin. Wait," I panted.

"For what?" he disagreed with annoyance, but I didn't care at the moment.

I lifted my leg to turn and face him then I ordered him to hang his upper half off the end of the bed. He protested at first, but when he felt me massaging him, he started to see things my way. He stayed on his back and held himself off the floor with his hands, and it was almost like he was doing a back bend off the bed as he supported his weight. I pounced on him before he could protest about anything, and he grunted and tried to pull himself up.

Without missing a beat, I pushed down on his chest and rotated my hips causing him to jerk a little. I just smiled as he cursed and struggled to figure out what he wanted to do with his body. I loved putting him in different positions that forced him to use his strength while I broke his body down with the way mine worked on his. Only minutes into our new position, I saw his arms trembling, but his eyes were locked on me, and I knew no matter how bad his arms may have started to hurt, he wanted me to keep going.

And that's exactly what I did for about the next forty minutes, all over my room and at the expense of his body. By the time I was finally satisfied, we were in the corner, and he was barely moving. He did start nibbling on my ear again though, and I just snuggled closer to him.

"Gordon, it's not—Oh my God!" Neila shrieked and turned to leave but stopped, I guess feeling what she needed to say was important enough not to run away.

I was of course mortified and rushed to grab my clothes, and Brentin wasn't as quick as I was, but he did the same. "Neila, what are you—" I tried to say, but she tossed her head back and laughed like a crazy woman.

"I'm—I'm—I'm—I'm"—she laughed again, and scratched her head before attempting to turn around again but stopping. "Gordon is umm . . . looking for you, Terri. He's umm . . . " She cleared her throat and propped her hand on her hip, now clearly about to jump into parent mode. "Are you dressed yet, young lady?"

Yeah," I croaked out, slipping my shirt back on, and she turned to face us. Brentin was only buttoning his pants, and Neila's eyes lingered on him, and I knew she was fighting back a lecture. "What is Gordon doing here?" I asked her, hoping to get her mind off of what she'd just walked in on.

She took in a breath, crossed her arms over her chest, and put her eyes on me. "He wanted to apologize to you for how he's been behaving with you and Brentin." When she said his name, her eyes shot to him. "I can't imagine why he'd want to keep an eye on the two of you," she said sarcastically.

"He doesn't need to do that. We're both adults," Brentin chimed in as he finished putting on his shoes then searched for his shirt. I picked it up and handed it to him, trying to find anything to keep me from having to make eye contact with Neila.

"You're both of age, legally," she finally said, and I had to look at her to see if she was serious. Was she seriously questioning my maturity because she'd walked in on us? "Let's just leave it at that." She looked down at her feet and took a few steps as Brentin leisurely put on his shirt. "Be that as it may, I agree that he shouldn't be so involved. That being said, I don't think it would be a marvelous idea to inform him of the sheer madness I've just witness."

"Neila," I complained, feeling as if she was blowing this out of proportion.

"I'm not saying anything," she said in an offhanded tone.

"You don't say anything or get an attitude when Deklyne has guys over," I spoke up about how she was acting.

"That's because I've never seen her nude, Terri. You're both consenting adul—age appropriate individuals," she unnecessarily corrected herself. "I just hope in the future you lock the door," she said and spun on her heels to leave. "We'll be downstairs when you're ready."

"Is she always like that?" Brentin asked and kissed me before I could answer. I pushed him against the wall and pushed my tongue in his mouth, drawing a groan from him. I was trying to prolong seeing Gordon, but Brentin broke the kiss and chuckled at me. "Let's go down there before he feels it's his duty to come up here."

I just pretended to cry a little, and he chuckled again and grabbed my hand to lead me downstairs. The moment Gordon saw Brentin, I saw the anger flash across his face, and I moved closer to Brentin. Neila noticed it too, so she moved to Gordon and rubbed his shoulders. Brentin just smiled as if he was slightly amused to see Gordon looking so angry.

"Well now," Neila said with a huge smile. "Since we're all here, Gordon has something to say. Don't you?" She nudged him, and his frown just deepened as he stared at Brentin.

I really couldn't understand his dislike for Brentin, and it was getting on my last nerve that he always had something to say. "What is your issue with him? Honestly, Gordon?" I asked, but I wouldn't look at him and just flopped on the couch. "You don't have to be such an ass all the time when you see him."

"Why the fuck you got on the _'_ _I just got some_ _'_ face?" Gordon bitched, ignoring me, and I just shook my head.

"Gordon," Neila fussed, but he ignored her warning too.

"Look how he smirking and shit."

"Stop it," Neila got on him again. "Hayley is just in the kitchen. Now you said you would apologize."

"No. You said I should apologize," he corrected her, and she pushed his shoulder. He just sighed then hesitated but squinted at Brentin. I don't know what he was looking for, but he stared Brentin down as if he was trying to read his DNA, blood type, genetic health history, and kidney function all with his scrutinizing look. "You fucking with her head?" he finally asked in a serious tone.

Brentin's smirk dropped, and he gave Gordon full eye contact, but he was calm. "No."

Gordon waited a second, I guess trying to find the sincerity in Brentin's simple but truthful answer. "You know I'll beat your ass if you do?" His voice wasn't as harsh as it had been with Brentin in the past, but there was still a hardness to it.

Brentin didn't answer right off the bat, but when he did, he was still calm. "I know you'll give me hell if I do."

"Wonderful," Neila said with a clap of her hands, and I knew she was trying to brush over the tension floating in the air. "Anything you want to say to Terri?" she asked and moved him over to me.

"I ain't sorry," he said in his own special Gordon way, and Neila pushed his shoulder again. "Look, woman," he fussed and turned to back Neila into a corner. They started their own little fight, but I couldn't make out much of it.

Brentin made his way over to me and pecked my lips before he sat down. "He must really care about you," he told me with a smile, and I didn't get how he could smile after Gordon was a complete ass to him.

"Yeah or he has control issues," I grumbled and eyed him while he was trying to cover Neila's mouth.

"That's love, Terri," Brentin said with a laugh. "I do the same thing with my little sister. He just wants to protect you."

I just shook my head at him. "How can you defend Gordon?"

"I'm not defending him . . . Well maybe I am, but a man respects another man for protecting his loved ones. Do I wish he'd leave us the hell alone? Yeah, but the respect goes both ways. Once he accepts that I want to protect you too and make you happy, he'll respect that."

"Well if he wasn't such an idiot he'd see that in you already."

"Terri," he called me and held my chin to make me face him, "when you're trying to protect someone you care about, you're willing to make yourself look like a fool, make that person angry with you, or be labeled an idiot because you can deal with all of that better than seeing the person you care for in pain."

I was quiet for a few seconds, trying to let what he said sink in. "Since you put it like that . . . " He just chuckled again and kissed me.

"Really, though?" Gordon said, and he was staring down at the both of us. "No respect for the company you're around?"

My reaction was to tell Gordon off, but I thought better of that. "You don't have to always be so mean. You use to be fun," I told him as soon as he started to scowl at Brentin.

"Really? That's how you feel?" he asked dryly, sitting in the chair and pulling Neila into his lap. She whispered something to him and tried to get up, but he wouldn't let her go. His eyes were on me the whole time, too. "Okay look, I apologize for hurting your feelings and shit."

"My goodness, Gordon," Neila huffed. "I guess that's as good as you're going to get, Terri."

"Why you looking all worn out and tired?" Gordon asked, suddenly switching his attention to Brentin. It was clear he wasn't trying to be too friendly, though. "It's the middle of the day. This is the time everybody usually has the most energy. You looking lethargic." He kissed Neila's cheek after saying that and laughed. "You hear that, baby? That's one of your words. Lethargic."

I stood up and went to bend down in front of Gordon and started clapping for him. "Yay! You know a fifth grade word," I said excitedly as if he was a two year old, and everybody except for him started laughing.

"That ain't no damn fifth grade word," he fussed, and I laughed harder.

For the next hour or so, Gordon and I continued to get into little fights, but it was pure comedy I thought. He was such a big kid, and he was making it harder to believe that he could have such a hard shell when it came to Brentin. Thankfully he did ease up a bit, but it really was only a little bit. When it was time for him to head out to his club though, I had to admit I was a little sad. Never had this house been filled with so much laughter and love, but at least I still had Brentin here to keep me company.

Fifty-Three : Gordon

I sat in my car for a while trying to decide what the hell I was even doing over here. I knew no matter what I did, I couldn't force Dani to do better for herself. Regardless, after everything that happened the last time we saw each other and after seeing that she left the drinks untouched, it was hard to keep her out of my head.

I'd been wondering for days how she was doing, but I knew I couldn't ask Neila about her. Part of me figured Neila was probably still holding on to some amount of insecurity because of my past feelings for Dani. That was probably one of the main reasons she was giving me so much hell about admitting to the feelings we had for each other. Still, I felt Dani needed somebody there for her. No matter if she wanted to deny that or fight it, I knew she needed somebody there for her.

I sighed before just going with my gut and making my way up to her door. After I rang the bell, it took her a while before she got to the door. When she finally opened it, she looked so worn down, but I knew not to speak on it. She just eyed me for a second, and the shit killed me that she looked so dead in her eyes.

"Can I come in for a minute?" I asked her, frowning at her for some reason, but I wasn't mad.

She didn't give me a reaction for a good few seconds, but then she shrugged and rolled her eyes slightly. "Why not?" she finally said and moved away from the door.

I just watched her walk away first then I stepped in and closed the door behind me.

"Are there any more request you need me to do? I'm staying out of your way. I thought that would be plenty," she said in a colorless tone and made her way to her kitchen.

"I just came over here to check on you."

She chuckled as she poured herself some coffee, but she didn't respond to me immediately. "Coffee?" she asked and held her mug up as she sat on a stool.

I couldn't understand it, but I was starting to feel uncomfortable with her now. I just shook my head and tried to focus on other things in her kitchen. "I'm fine."

For a long time, we sat in silence, and I was starting to doubt the good I'd actually be to her. I couldn't figure out any type of approach to take with her. I couldn't even convince myself that she had a problem I needed to involve myself with. It was hard to shake the thought that I should be doing something for her, though.

I wasn't raised to sit back and just watch a woman struggle in pain like this. Being my mother's oldest boy, she reminded me constantly of how I was always supposed to be the rock my sisters could lean on and run to. Dani wasn't my sister, but something was still gnawing at me to be here for her, despite the warning bells I heard.

Both of us were just caught in a daze of our own thoughts for a long minute, and leaving was starting to feel like the better solution. I didn't know how to make an exit so quickly after claiming I wanted to see about her, though. The good thing was I didn't have to think on it too hard because both our attention went to the baby monitor sitting on the counter before I spoke up. Chris had started wailing, and for a good thirty seconds, Dani just looked at the monitor as if it was sentencing her to death. Right before I was about to say something to her, she took off down the hall.

I just sat in the kitchen, listening to the monitor, and close to ten minutes had passed with Chris still carrying on. I couldn't just stay in the kitchen, and when I walked in the room, Dani was holding him away from her. I didn't want to step on her toes, but the way she was holding him I knew had a lot to do with why he wasn't calming down. She hadn't noticed me, and I wasn't going to wait to see if she'd ask for help and just grabbed Chris to cradle him. He still cried for a little while, but he eventually started to quiet down. Once he finally was calm, I looked at Dani, who still looked like death.

"He misses his baby sitter. That's who he's attached to." She tried to brush things off, and I just frowned at her.

I knew every parent had a day when they couldn't get their child to calm down, but I didn't want her to think he preferred someone else over her. I knew how it bothered me whenever Hayley would rather spend time with someone else over me.

"You're his mother. He's attached to you," I tried to tell her, but she shook her head and moved a few steps away from me.

"No he's not, but it's whatever," she shrugged.

I smiled at her in confusion, trying to understand what she was talking about. "What does that mean?" She wouldn't answer me and pulled some toys out of Chris' crib. "You're thinking your son isn't attached to you and acting like it's no big deal?"

"He's not attached to me, just get over it," she argued.

She was catching attitude quick as hell, so I knew this was affecting her more than what she wanted to let on. I just wished she wasn't so stubborn when it came to things that could make her feel vulnerable. Still, I just wanted to make her feel better about the situation. "So you couldn't get him to stop crying this time—"

"Gordon!" she fussed but stopped herself from saying more then she took a breath to calm down. "He always cries with me, and that's why he's always with her. I don't know how to deal with him."

I frowned at what she said, seeing nothing but selfishness and stupidity in it. "Dani, that doesn't even make sense."

"We really don't have a point to be talking about this," she snapped. "If I said I can't fucking deal with him, I can't! No discussion needed."

"Well, where is the person who knows how to deal with him?" I snapped back at her.

"She said she was busy," she fussed and pulled her hair back, "and I thought I could—Gordon, just put him back down. He's quiet now, and I don't want him starting up again. He needs to stay quiet and in his crib."

I squinted at her in question, but her eyes were locked on Chris now. "Did you feed him anything?" I asked but got no answer. Chris coughed and cried a little, and I knew he probably just wanted more attention. "What's up, little man? You got tired of being in here by yourself?" I asked and smiled at him, trying to give Dani time to answer my question. She still just stood there, and it only irritated me. "You made sure he's been sleeping okay?" I waited only a second for her to speak, but I knew she wasn't going to answer anyway. "Have you even checked on him at all today?"

"That's what she always does. I don't—I don't know how—" She just shook her head at me and walked out. I couldn't even believe how she was acting, and if I didn't have Chris in my arms, I probably would have let her ass have it.

"Danielle," I called her and found her dialing someone. "Who are you calling?"

"He's not going to be happy with me," she fussed, but she didn't sound angry. She sounded like she was trying to convince somebody.

I just grabbed the phone and moved Chris to her. "Hold him," I told her, careful to watch her hands. I didn't want to drop Chris or let him get hit if she put up a fight.

"Gordon, give me the phone," she demanded, but I threw the phone on the couch and grabbed her hand to position it to hold Chris. "Gordon?"

"Just hold him, Dani." I passed him to her, and she looked terrified.

I couldn't understand why it was so hard for her to do something as simple as that, but I could see nothing but fear on her face as she held him and looked down at him. Everything was going fine, though. There was nothing she should have been afraid of, but when Chris started to cry again, she tried to give him back to me.

"Just comfort him, Dani," I told her, getting upset. The shit was pitiful. She was his mother, and she didn't even want to attempt to console him.

"Gordon, just take him?" she pleaded.

"What did you do with Alexis? Just because he's a boy doesn't mean you have to hold him different."

"Will you please?" Her voice broke when she asked me, and I just moved away from her.
I knew she was having some kind of break down, but I didn't think it was a good idea for her to run from something like this. Maybe I was wrong for trying to force the situation, but that shit really got to me, seeing her brush her own child off. She needed to take care of her son.

"Gordon, he doesn't want me!"

"Yes he does," I tried to tell her. "He's just testing you—" I stopped once I saw the tears falling down her face. "Dani—"

Chris screamed louder, and she shoved him at me. "I can't do this shit, Gordon! Just take him!" I grabbed him just in time, and she started to pace in front of me. "I'm not a good nurturer. I can't do all of that shit," she babbled, but I just left her in the living room and went to feed Chris and lay him down.

I was in there with him for about thirty minutes trying to calm myself down. I still couldn't believe she was acting like this, and I felt no sympathy for her. She was willing to push her child off on someone else just because she didn't want to take responsibility for him or she felt she couldn't take responsibility.

I didn't know what to do about her anymore. There was just too much going on with her, and I damn sure wasn't qualified to give her the help she needed. Still, leaving didn't seem like the right idea at the moment. She was clearly not in the right mind frame to take care of Chris, but how fair was it to the baby sitter for Dani to just drop him off whenever she wanted to checkout. I just sighed and figured I'd have to let Dani figure things out for herself. If that meant unfairly imposing on the sitter, I couldn't do anything about it.

I took one last look at Chris sitting in his crib then I went to find Dani. Lo and behold, this woman was drinking. I didn't even think about it and snatched the bottle out of her hands.

"The fuck is your problem?" I barked at her.

"You need to get the hell out of my house. Right now!" She lunged for the bottle, but I kept it away from her. "Who do you think you are? You can't come to my home and tell me I can't fucking drink!" she yelled and pushed me.

"You ignore your son so you can get drunk? Danielle, you have more issues than anyone I've ever met."

"You think I give a fuck? Get out!" I just stared at her, and she started swinging and cursing.

I just put the bottle down then carried her to her room. After I tossed her on the bed, she fussed more but I ignored her. "Is there something you do in your spare time other than drink?" I asked her, forcing myself to be calm.

"I like good dick every once and a while, but you wouldn't know anything about that would you?"

"So drinking and whoring? Great combo."

"Fuck you, Gordon," she fussed and jumped up, trying to walk out.

I just pushed her back on the bed, and still keeping my emotions in check I asked, "What movies do you have?"

I looked around her room and noticed she didn't have a television in the room, but I was determined to find something to occupy her ass with other than alcohol. I felt somewhat like an idiot doing this, but I couldn't live with myself if I turned my back on her when she clearly needed somebody.

"I don't watch movies, sweetheart," she said with defiance, but after hearing her use her trademark term, I knew she was wearing down.

"Where's your music?" I asked, noticing her stereo, but she only laughed.

"I only listen to music when I drink."

I made eye contact with her, and she knew she was pissing me off. I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of defeat though and checked her room again. My eyes landed on two statues she had on her dresser. After seeing that, I really took in her room and remembered her living room and kitchen. A lot of the decorations were African pieces, so I knew that had to hold some meaning. Asking about them would more than likely break some ice.

"Who is that a sculpture of?" I asked pointing to the one near her door.

It was a sculpture of a woman from a small portion of the chest up, but there were no shoulders. It was made out of bronze, and there was a purplish two-roped necklace partially covered by a reddish, one shoulder wrap, and there was a matching reddish wrap on the woman's head. The earrings were big and reminded me of large walnuts, and the details in the face were remarkable.

"That's a bust by James Tandi. It's a Maasai woman," she finally answered me and sat on the edge of her bed.

"Who are they?" I nodded to the first two statues I saw.

They were made of bronze too, but they were full body statues of men holding spears and carrying shields that had crackled, red stained glass on the front. They had nothing on their chest, but they wore collared necklaces that I guessed were heavy as hell, they had giant hoop earrings, decorative headbands, and they had on sarongs that had the same red stained, crackled glass as the shield.

She turned to see what I was looking at and bit her lip before turning back to me to answer. "Those are Maasai warriors." She looked down, and I was about to ask her about more, but she spoke up. "I'm umm . . . I'm intrigued by them particularly because they were basically the security for their families. They were the ones the Maasai people counted on, admired, loved. They were rock stars to the Maasai people."

"What, were they the rulers or something?"

She smiled and got a real far off look on her face as if she was longing for something. "No, Gordon," she said softly and looked at me.

"What then?"

"They were just the ones everyone looked up to. They were . . . brave . . . and brilliant." She smiled harder and sat up a little straighter. "They were great lovers and fearless, athletic, arrogant because they knew they were the shit, and they were wise."

"Sounds like a rock star to me."

"The best thing about them though, they knew they had to be concerned with the well-being of their fellow warrior and of the Maasai community as a whole and they did that shit with no problem." She paused for a second, like she was deep in thought about something.

"They looked out for everybody. They were basically an army making sure everyone was fine and taken care of. You know? They protected theirs." She shrugged and used her hand to gesture, and I could see she was really starting to get into telling me this stuff.

"They didn't consider themselves too good for anything, any task. During umm—During drought seasons they would even help the younger boys with herding livestock." She licked her lips and blinked a few times, but I waited for her to speak.

"They never just sat around waiting like they didn't have something to do. They made sure everything and everyone was taken care of. They didn't have to be told that something was wrong before they were taking care of the problem. Even when everything was the way it was supposed to be though, they still found ways to help out. The warriors fallowed and guarded the reserve pastures when they could have been soaking up the gratitude of everyone who adored them."

I just watched her for a few, and she sat there, now looking more timid than I'd ever seen her look. "Where did you learn that?" I asked, fascinated that she just broke down a whole culture to me.

She chuckled, but wouldn't look up. "When I was in my African Studies class . . . a long time ago." She looked at me finally with a soft smile on her face. "You know what else I learned?"

"What?"

"They drink blood, but"—she smiled to keep from laughing when she saw my expression change—"but only on special occasions." I lifted an eyebrow, but I couldn't verbally express how I was feeling. She just giggled, and I shook my head. "Their special occasions are when someone gets circumcised, or when someone gets sick, or after a women gives entomononi." I squinted at her, still unable to say anything at the moment, and she giggled again. "Birth," she explained.

"Blood though?"

"It's their way," she defended. "But they use it to get the alcohol out of their system too. That's how the elders get rid of their hangovers."

"What?" I asked in disgust.

"Blood is rich in protein, Gordon," she said with a smile, enjoying making my stomach turn. "It also helps the immune system."

"I'm not drinking somebody's blood just to get rid of a cold."

She laughed at me and wiped at her eyes. "It's not human blood. They drink the cattle's blood, and the cattle is like . . . " she smiled and used her hands to gesture the magnitude of what she was trying to say. "Cattle is just everything to them."

"Oh okay. That makes the shit so much better." She laughed again, and I walked over to kiss the top of her head.

I know I probably should have left things alone, but my Mr. Fix It ass couldn't. I left to bring Chris in the room, and when I got back she was stretched out on the bed. She was about to sit up, but I told her not to and sat Chris beside her. She tried to protest more, but I told her all of us were just going to chill in the room together.

The first couple of minutes she was stiff, and her eyes stayed on Chris. He was playful though, so it didn't take long for me and him to start cutting up together. I flipped him all through the air, and he just squealed and tried to attack me when I put him down. Dani sat watching for the most part, so I picked Chris up and held him over Dani's face to make him kiss her. Chris laughed and grabbed for Dani, and she finally smiled and gave him a long loud kiss on his cheek.

"Mommy likes kisses, man." I pulled him back from her and smirked. "You think she likes flash kicks?" I teased then flipped Chris again, causing his feet to hit Dani's cheek, and I made an attack sound.

"Gordon, that's not funny," she fussed, but both Chris and I were laughing.

She tried to take him from me, and I let her have him when my phone chirped from getting a text. It was from Neila, saying Hayley missed me. I took a second to think about things, and decided to be a little selfish. I wanted to see my girls, but I didn't want to leave Dani alone with herself yet.

"I'm going to tell Neila to bring Hayley over here," I told her, a little worried that having the both of them around each other might cause some shit.

Her eyes shot to me, but when Chris climbed on her chest and laughed after falling off, she just smiled and shrugged at me. "Fine," she said after pulling Chris to her and helping him climb on her.

I knew Dani was only having a good moment right now, but I thought it was a start. I still wasn't one hundred percent sure I should spend so much time being concerned with what was going on with her, but she was coming around. When somebody was in her face trying to get her to make the right decisions, she came through. I would be a fool not to be cautious with her; I knew that. That didn't make me want to completely throw her to the wind, though.

Fifty-Four : Neila

I looked at myself in the mirror, hoping I wouldn't embarrass myself when Gordon saw me. After I'd let it slip that I use to go Salsa dancing with a few acquaintances in college, he insisted that we go together. I thought the idea was a nice one, and I was actually excited to go until I saw the dress he'd bought me.

I considered myself a pretty snazzy dresser, but this dress was on a completely different level. It was short by my standards to say the least, and it was also strapless. The base of the top was an aqua color, but there was a bondage design, I guess you could call it, which was black. The bottom was black, fluffed and ruffleiesque, and the fabric was some kind of . . . My goodness, I didn't even know how to describe this dress, and the heels he'd bought with them were a story all on their own. The only part I could really focus on was the aqua, black, and sparingly golden trimmed starfish that was beaded and sat right on the front.

"Damn, you're looking sexy, sweetheart," Dani said to me, walking in my room and sitting on my bed. "I told him that was the outfit for you."

"Why am I not surprised you had a hand in orchestrating this ensemble?" I questioned her, feeling a bit annoyed.

For the past couple of days, she and Chris had been spending quite a bit of time here. I couldn't cipher where this desire to spend quality family time had come from, but I guessed it all spawned from the day Gordon, Hayley, and I spent at her house.

At first she was really distant, but as the time went on, her entire personality seemed to change. It was like in the matter of days she'd gone from an excessively drinking, raving, angry Dani, who tried to kill her own sister in my kitchen and she'd morphed into a loving, joking, strangely calm Dani, who was actually trying to teach Hayley the basics of speaking Italian.

I didn't want to read too much into it and wanted to believe she was finally starting to see the light. The only thing I did think was a bit odd was at the time Gordon and I decided to leave. Dani kept us there an extra three hours until not only the kiddies were exhausted but so were we.

Gordon suggested I keep an eye on her after that, but I knew he was just being his usual, overly concerned self. I knew if Dani was having an issue she knew how to take care of herself. She'd been the sole person I could honestly say I myself had learned that very thing from.

"I don't know about this dress," I said, turning to Dani and running my hands down my stomach. She just smiled at me, and I knew she was holding in a laugh. "Dani, look at me," I complained, feeling butterflies in my stomach.

"Neila, you look good," she laughed and came over to hug me then she turned me to face the mirror again. "Look at those ta-tas, sweetheart," she buzzed and squeezed them.

"Really, Dani?" I pushed her away causing her to laugh more. "Gordon is going to think I look ridiculous," I huffed and tried to pull the top over my chest a little more. "I've never dressed like this on an outing together. Why on earth would I start now? You tell me, Dani? For what rationality would I wear this thing?"

"Because that man is going to be horny the second he sees you. Stop worrying so much," she stressed, and that only heightened my nervousness. "You're a grown ass woman. You should not be this jittery because of a simple date—a date with a man who you've already spent months with."

To hear her say that really made my stomach flip. Gordon had concocted this idea of going on a date with me. I honestly had no idea why spending time with him was suddenly supposed to be so different. In my mind this was no different than the many times we've been out to eat, out on our failed attempt at a morning run, out for our trip to that go-kart place. Why did I need to get dressed up for this? We were friends who were about to go dancing. That was it. This was not a date.

And I certainly did not need to be wearing anything that would put such a thought into his head and would ultimately invoke feelings of sexual longing.

"Dani, I can't do this," I said, spinning to my closet to rip this dress off.

Before my hands could find the zipper however, Dani was pulling me back. "You are not about to mess this up for yourself. Do you know how long I've wanted the Ice Queen to find a man to knock away your damn cobwebs?" she teased.

"Very classy, Dani."

"Fuck class." She pulled me back to my dresser and looked through my jewelry box. "You are not going to be Ms. Up My Own Ass tonight."

"Such a delicate way of putting it, love," I said, still not ready to resign myself to the idea that I'd soon be facing Gordon.

She finally pulled out a pair of turquoise and black, daisy designed earrings that I hadn't seen in ages. "These look nice with your outfit, don't you think?" She smiled, but I was still too wound up to agree or disagree. "Well, they're the only ones you have with color, so here," I wouldn't take them from her, so she put them in for me then she took off her black bangle and put it on my wrist. "So now all you have to do is put on your shoes and let Gordon take everything off later on tonight."

"Dani, will you please?" I fussed, and again she just laughed at me. "Is this how it is? I can't deal with this . . . " I couldn't think of a word to describe how I was feeling, and I waved my hand around trying to help draw the word out, "this . . . "

"Emotion?" she threw out a suggestion. "It's called sexual frustration, sweetheart. I'm positive Gordon will help you get over it. Now," she clapped her hands twice then pointed to my shoes. "Shoes."

"Dani—"

"Hush," she ordered and handed my shoes to me. I only sighed as I felt myself going on autopilot once I leaned on my dresser to put them on.

God. If Gordon considered this a date, did he expect what Dani was so brashly alluding to? Was sex on his mind the whole time he was trying to convince me out on this "date?"

Just as I was slipping on my second shoe, Terri walked in with Hayley on her heels. "Gordon's here," she said with an eye roll. "He's down there with Brentin, so if you could come keep him occupied that would be just perfect."

"Neila, you look so pretty," Hayley beamed up at me as she hugged me.

I couldn't give her a proper hug or greeting, but she just rattled on about the new dress Gordon had bought, so my awkwardness clearly didn't get to her. Even if it did, I was too caught up in my own thoughts and worries to notice. By the time I'd snapped back to reality, Dani had dragged me down the steps. Thankfully Gordon's back was to me, but I heard him talking to Brentin about a par . . . or car . . . or tar. I really didn't know.

My mind was mush, my legs were putty, and my heart was about to punch a hole right through my chest. I'd just dolled myself up for this man, and waiting to see what he thought was literally about to kill me. I couldn't take my eyes off of him as the thought to run back to my room boomed in my head, but something was keeping me rooted in place.

"Damn," I heard Brentin say, and for some reason that made Gordon turn to face me.

I felt flush the moment our eyes connected, and I almost passed out when his eyes began to roam over my body. I tried to take a step back, but Dani wouldn't move away from me. The only other thing I could think to do was make a break for it outside. However, I only got two steps away from him before he was pulling me to him and smiling at me as only he could.

In that moment, he brought me back to the first time I'd ever seen his smile; it was that very night I took my first steps to winning him by convincing him to have dinner with me. Of course, I bailed on him the minute Deklyne called, but he left me with that smile of his, and seeing it now gave me those same butterflies and same tingle up my spine. It had the same hypnotizing and breathtaking effect, and all I could do was wait for him to speak.

"I don't think my heart has ever skipped a beat just from seeing a woman walk across the room," he said as he stroked a finger under my chin.

"What does—" I looked down, not able to keep eye contact with him. "What does that mean? Does that mean you like the dress?"

He tilted his head to the side and slightly frowned as he looked me up and down again. "The dress is nice, I guess," he said as if there was a big _'but'_ following, "but you are—"

"But what? You don't like me in it?" I asked, backing up and trying to take another look at myself. "I thought maybe if I put on a coat I wouldn't look so ridiculous—"

He pulled me back to him and held my chin. "Could you allow me to give you a compliment, woman?"

"It's just this dress—It's been—I didn't think it—"

He finally sighed and let his hands drop from me. I didn't know what to expect, but his whole demeanor had changed in a split second. "I was trying to be polite, but the dress actually looks fucked up on you. That's not the color for you," he finally said with hard eyes and a shrug, but when I tried to move away from him, he grabbed me and started laughing. "I'm playing, Neila." I still tried to get away from him, but he held me tighter and moved me closer to the door. "I'm only messing with you," he chuckled.

"That's not funny, Gordon," I fussed.

"You're beautiful," he whispered to me, and I couldn't help but melt from the look he was giving me. His eyes looked a little heavy, but heavy from some erotic emotion. "Everything about you looks amazing, woman." I didn't say anything else, and I felt as if I was about to have a heart attack once I realized he was moving in for a kiss.

"Gordon, no PDA. Remember?" Brentin interrupted to my easement, but Gordon turned to say something causing Terri to open the door and push us out.

Before we made it to his car, however, Terri ran back out with my black clutch then Gordon and I were off to Studio Pulse. From the moment we entered the building I felt a new and strange vibe come over me. Gordon wasn't able to keep his eyes or hands off of me, and that inflated my ego just a little. From that moment on, the more attention he gave me the more I wanted to give back to him. It was like my nerves had absolutely vanished and some other person had completely taken over my conduct.

The night with him was anything but ordinary or collective, however. While we were on the floor, it was clear he didn't have a clue how to Salsa. He told me he didn't care how much of a fool he made of himself because he just wanted to see me enjoy myself. I thought it was an admirable gesture, and I tried so hard to at least help him get the basics down, but he was a terrible dancer. Three times, he tripped over his own feet, and he even knocked one woman completely off hers just to keep himself from falling over. Needless to say, we called it night earlier than expected, but I could honestly say I had the night of my life.

"Gordon, we should go eat somewhere. I don't want the night to be over because of your horrible dancing," I told him as I pouted in the car, and I didn't even feel immature for my pout.

He just kept his eyes on the road. "We ain't going nowhere else," he replied to me sternly.

I just giggled at him because I figured his feelings were sore from me laughing at him so much. "Aww, don't feel bad." I turned to him and stroked the side of his face, feeling a bizarre complacency with such an intimate touch. "It was your first time. You're better at eating, so let's just go eat—"

"Neila, I'm not taking you anywhere but home. And I am better at eating, so I'll eat when we get there," he told me with a smirk.

I just huffed and flopped my back in the seat while crossing my arms. "Fine, Gordon. Just remember it was your idea to go, and you insisted on staying even after almost giving yourself a concussion."

He chuckled in response, but nothing else was said for the remainder of the drive to his house. Once we were inside, I had a feeling he was going to try to get me to cook for him again, and that just killed the high I felt I was on. I was always cooking for him. I didn't want all the torture I'd put myself through to get ready for him tonight only to add up to us doing the same thing we were always doing. Tonight felt like it held something else to it, something a bit more special than the usual.

Still in the dark, I stomped over to his couch and threw my clutch on it before folding my arms. "Gordon—"

Before I could even turn around, I felt him pulling me to him, and he was silencing me with a kiss. All anger left me the second I felt his lips, and even though I felt the butterflies return to my stomach, something wouldn't allow me to run from this like I did the last time he made me feel this way.

Without my permission, my arms wrapped themselves around his neck, giving him time to feel around for my zipper. As soon as he found it, my dress was gone, and I was beneath him on his couch. My heart was beating like crazy, and I felt as if there was a part of me craving something that was so long overdue.

I knew I should have been stopping this. When Dani cautioned me earlier tonight that he would react in this very manner, I should have taken heed to that. Alas, here I was in his arms and allowing myself to be seduced by an excitement in which I knew was no good for me.

From the very beginning I consented to my own downfall. I yielded to this man's way by setting up social engagements, cooking for him and Hayley, and by granting him the idea that touching me in this way was acceptable. Each time before now I felt powerless to resist him and his kisses.

Yet now I felt something else.

It was just so hard to believe how at ease I was with this, with us behaving this way and me actually . . . _wanting_ this.

Everything between us seemed to have built up to this point, and I could barely contain myself as his lips moved to my neck and his hand reached to tug at my bra. I just closed my eyes as my body reacted naturally to his touch. All too teasingly, he let his hand slip down to my blue laced panties, and I ripped his shirt open, causing almost all of his buttons to pop.

"Damn, baby." He smirked and pulled away from me to take his shirt off completely. "All you had to do was ask."

Embarrassment had first worked its way through me but left the moment his shirt was off. All I could focus on was his chest. He didn't have the biggest muscles I'd ever seen, but his surely did suit his body perfectly. He looked more than capable of handling this situation with overwhelming satisfaction.

He removed every article of my clothing, and my body got excited with just me laying there, waiting for his next move. That's when he moved my legs apart and pushed upwards on my thighs. I obliged him and scooted up then he held one of my legs up and softly kissed my calve while staring me down with an irresistible pull in his eyes.

I just bit my lip as I felt my body become antsy from his teasing. He just smirked at me and kissed me a few more times, going lower each time until his head was between my legs. I felt more butterflies in my stomach then, but the spark between my legs was more intense than anything. I couldn't hold in the moan that slipped from my lips the second I felt him kiss me there, and with the first sweep of his tongue, my mind was gone. All focus was on what he was doing to me and how I didn't want him to stop.

His pace started off slow and deliberate. Each stroke of his tongue felt better than the last, and he knew it too. Too many times I caught him smirking at the way my body jerked while under his control. He was doing his damnedest to make me fall in love with his tongue as it circled and massaged every part of me, inside and out.

I held the top of his head and cursed at him for making me lose my mind then I felt his fingers, kindling spots his tongue had abandoned. He was driving me crazy with the way he kept changing up his speed. When he'd stiffen his tongue to hit a direct spot on my clitoris, my entire body convulsed, and when he soften it, he amazingly made every inch of me feel like his favorite flavor of ice cream.

My toes curled, my hips rolled, and my volume definitely got louder. I was probably my loudest when I felt him giving quick little sucks to my clitoris, enveloping it with his mouth momentarily and releasing it. It all felt like too much causing me to try to pull way, but he held me in place, sucking still and letting his tongue flick back and forth.

"My goodness, Gordon!" I couldn't control my outburst once I felt the euphoric sensation that caused my body to spasm.

I was in my own state of delirium as my mind tried to catch up to what was going on around me, and by that time, Gordon had lifted me and put me on the floor. He was completely naked, and he pushed my legs apart to position himself.

"You don't need liquor to take it, do you?" he teased, leaning down to kiss my neck.

I just smirked and closed my eyes, and I bit my lip to keep from answering. I doubted he was too interested in my answer anyway because it only took him a second to start pushing his way in me. Again he started off with a slow pace, and I loved it. He moved his lips away from me, and I wanted to complain, but what he was doing to me made it hard for me to do anything but moan his name.

"Open your eyes, baby," he coaxed me, and the look in his eyes was so fiery, I had to pull him into a kiss.

Everything felt so amazing in this moment. His lips were amazing. His hands were amazing. This damn floor was amazing—carpet had never felt good. And I wanted to make sure I made him feel equally as amazing. I didn't want to just lay still beneath him, so I rolled my hips against his, and I heard him groan in approval. He pulled his lips away from me and cursed under his breath, repositioning my leg to accommodate the both of us better. I moaned louder and raked my nails across his back as I felt him go deeper, and I prayed this moment would never end.

Fifty-Five : Dani

I grabbed the remainder of Terri's birthday cake to take it back into the kitchen while everyone else lounged around, damn near about to pass out from the feast Neila cooked for Terri's birthday celebration. I still needed something to keep me busy, so I decided to wash the dishes that had been stacked.

Time seemed to fly by, though. Far too soon I was done with that task and searching the kitchen for something else to do. That's when I finally noticed the bottle of Patron sitting on the counter, next to a platter holding shot glasses, lime wedges and salt. I hesitated at first, but then I poured six shots, arranged everything on the platter, and then brought it all out for everyone.

I swept a smile on my face the second the group came into view, and I took a deep breath. "Shots, anyone?" I asked, sounding as carefree as I could and holding up a shot. Gordon was the first to show interest, but before I could hand him anything Neila pulled on his arm.

"Why did you bring that? Terri's not old enough to drink."

"Legally," he said with a smirk, and Neila pushed his shoulder.

"Do not be a bad influence on her. Besides, your daughter is upstairs. You really want to get drunk with her here?"

"I won't get drunk from one shot," he protested, but after a stare down with his woman, he sighed and waved the glass off. "I guess I'm good," he huffed and sat back.

I thought it was funny how Neila clearly controlled their relationship, a relationship I'd yet to see her acknowledge save a few affectionate touches from Gordon she didn't seem to resist, but I wouldn't have it any other way. That's exactly how it should be. No man should have power over a woman.

"Anybody else?" I asked and scanned the room, and annoyance filled me the second my eyes landed on Deklyne.

She sat in the corner, glaring at Gordon and Neila, and I knew that little bitch hated the fact that Neila got to Gordon before she could. Part of me felt sorry for her that she couldn't get past that dumbass bet, but another part of me knew she was only going through unnecessary mess because she wouldn't let it go. Seeing the pure disgust in her eyes did anger me, though. It was just something in the way she looked at them that made me feel uneasy. She was a sneaky bitch, and given the chance, I wouldn't put it pass her to try some stupid shit.

"Let me get a shot, Dani?" Brentin asked, coming to stand beside me and momentarily taking my attention off of Deklyne.

"You're not old enough to drink, either," Neila tried to dictate, and Gordon put his hand over her mouth.

"Let that man drink," he said, nodding at me.

"You could lose your liquor license for this, Gordon," she went on, and everyone responded in a series of either groans, " _have some fun_ s," or " _who's going to tell_ s," and Neila scoffed in disbelief. "Consider me a stick in the mud if you want, but I seem to be the only mature adult here tonight."

"Let me get one for Terri?" Brentin whispered to me, and I just giggled and slipped another one to him. "Give me two more?" he laughed.

"You can't carry all of them, sweetheart." I walked over to Terri with him, and when he handed one to her, she just smiled before throwing her head back and downing it. At first I thought she was taking it like a champ, but her eyes bugged a little, and she brought her hand to her mouth. I didn't know if she was trying to keep her cough in or if she just couldn't get it out, but I laughed hard and held the platter towards her. "Get the lime and the salt."

She just took the lime and tried to bite it, but Brentin grabbed it from her, drank his shot before handing me the glass and sprinkling some salt on Terri's lime. He laughed while doing all of this then he put the lime in her mouth.

"Really, Dani?" Neila moaned on. "Her first drink, and you give her Patron?"

"It's not her first drink," I countered, but I had no clue if I was lying through my teeth or not.

"Yes it is," Brentin laughed again, and I hit his arm.

"I don't like that," Terri whimpered with tears in her eyes and pointing at the bottle as if it was some evil presence, but she was about to laugh.

"One bad experience. That's all it is." I tried to comfort her, but failed when I laughed again.

"You take one," Brentin said and picked a shot up, trying to hand it to me.

My smile dropped momentarily then I just shook my head and placed the shot back on the tray. "No. I'm—I'm not drinking tonight."

"Why not?" he pushed the issue and grabbed the shot again.

I just stepped away from him and moved hair out of my face. "No, Brentin. My son is upstairs, so it would be irresponsible for me to drink tonight."

"Oh that's right. I'm sorry," he said with what I could've sworn was a patronizing smile then he drank his second shot.

Hearing myself say that felt so strange. Everything about that statement felt like nonsense flying out of my mouth, and as hard as I tried, I couldn't shake the fact that it was nonsense. Here I was trying to walk around like I actually cared, but I knew I was only forcing myself to do what was expected of me.

But this shit—washing dishes—passing out drinks—helping Neila cook—helping Gordon put the kids to sleep—that shit was not expected of me. I was supposed to be drunk. Chris was supposed to be with someone that wasn't me. I damn sure wasn't supposed to be responsible for his wellbeing. That's what made sense: me doing me, not me pretending to be a mother. I still couldn't handle being alone with Chris for too long, and now I spit out bullshit about trying to be responsible for him?

Everyone in this room knew I couldn't be responsible for him, and it was only a matter of time before I proved that. That's exactly why everyone had been looking at me like I'd lost my mind. I wasn't fooling them; I was only trying to fool myself.

Terri and Brentin both pretended to want to make me feel comfortable, acting as if me walking around with Chris was something natural, but I saw right through the fake smiles they gave me, and every time it made me sick. Just seeing how they were laughing now was turning my stomach; I had to rub it just to keep from becoming too nauseated. I knew they were probably laughing at me for trying to keep up this ridiculous front for so long.

Then on the other side, Neila and Gordon weren't any better. All day they questioned everything I tried to do with Chris. I knew they felt they had to okay my actions because of course they knew better. Even now I could still see the distrust and superiority they felt by the way they were acting. Neila sat there, in my face, whispering shit to Gordon. Something told me she was telling him about the many times she had to instructed me with Chris, but with the way Gordon was watching me, I wouldn't be surprised if she was telling him something about me that was ten times worse.

"Dani, you alright?" he asked and moved Neila away from him a little.

Why the fuck was he questioning if I was alright? He always did that: did something to get me worked up—then tried to prove he cared about me or tried to fix the problem. His smug ass always thought as soon as he stepped in, things suddenly got better.

I had to admit though, I made it easier for him to believe that. Although, that was mainly because he was always the one stepping in. Even when I was trying to fight him off, he wouldn't leave me alone. Now it was like his voice was embedded in my head, and I clung to that shit so hard. It was borderline pathetic. I couldn't make a single move without wondering, "What would Gordon think?" How did I even allow myself to be reduced to this? I was standing here shaking, hardly breathing, and mentally beating myself, and for what?

"Dani?" he called me again.

I just set everything down and brushed my dress. "I'll be right back, ladies and gents," I said sweetly and laughed, but there wasn't shit funny about how I was feeling. "Everyone carry on." I blew kisses then rushed to the bathroom.

I needed to take a breather and calm myself the hell down. This was exactly why I preferred to keep myself busy with either shopping, pampering my damn self, or just sex. The busier I was, the less time I had to think. I didn't need to think about what I was doing or why I was doing it or what people thought about what I was doing. I just needed to do it, right? I just needed to do what was expected of me.

I took a few deep breaths as I paced, but I was still unable to calm myself. My thoughts wouldn't let my mind settle. All I really knew was this was what Gordon expected of me, and no matter how unnatural it felt to me or looked to anyone else, I just couldn't falter on that expectation. I was starting to realize what he expected of me and what he wanted from me was becoming incredibly important to me, and there was no question why. He'd never tried to hurt me or steer me in the wrong direction. He'd been the only person who's ever done for me simply because he wanted to. He'd done more than he'd had to or needed to in order to help me, and all he wanted in return was for me to be better than trash.

None of my sisters have ever tried to pull me out of my own shit storm: Terri needs my protection, Deklyne is a waste of breath, and Neila is hard—"It's my shit storm," was always her defense. I've never blamed my sisters for my mess ups or for my wallowing in them, but it's such a different feeling to have someone there for you in the way Gordon has been there for me.

Gordon expected more from me, and I had to do this for him. . . . and Chris and Alexis.

After splashing some water on my face, I decided I just had to suck this up. This feeling wasn't going to last forever, so it made no sense to dwell on it and prolong it more than necessary. I had every intention of going back to the party and pretending my mind wasn't in complete chaos, but I wanted to first go check on Chris in Neila's room. I couldn't help but wonder if he could feel the chaos that I was feeling. He was my son, after all. There should be some type of connection, right?

Just as Neila's room came into my view, however, I noticed Deklyne cautiously closing the door behind her as she slipped out. Something in my gut told me she was up to something, and that thought grew by ten when she rushed in her room. She hadn't noticing me, and I didn't hesitate to charge to her door. I stopped, however, when I realized confronting her would only lead to her lies. I was not in the mood to play games with her, so I decided it would be easier to catch her ass red handed.

I walked in Neila's room, and nothing looked out of the ordinary. The kids were asleep, and Chris looked so at peace in his makeshift fort. I actually smiled at him, a bit relieved that his world didn't appear to be in chaos. But seriously, who could honestly say what goes on in a baby's head?

After taking a long sigh, I put my focus back on what I'd come in here for. Still, I couldn't pick up on anything until I was just about to leave. That's when I noticed Hayley's bag wasn't with Chris'. I thought perhaps Gordon had moved it because he had been constantly checking on Hayley, but again my gut told me to just check things out. Just like I suspected, Deklyne's little sneaky ass left him a note. I knew it had to be utter bullshit, so I took it out to read it.

Gordon I don't know how else to tell you this and I really am sorry that you have to find out like this but Neila is not who you think she is. She's not with you because she thinks you're some great guy. She's with you because of a bet that she had with me and Dani. We all wanted to see who could get to you first and now that she has you on her arm she's parading you around like some trophy just to rub it in our faces. And I know it hurts to hear this because I can see how much you care for her but she only did this because me and Dani told her she'd never be able to get a man because of the way she treated men. You know for yourself how cold she is. After I introduced them to you and they saw how attracted to you I was they decided you were the perfect candidate for our bet. I know I should have come clean but I figured we were building something and that we'd eventually end up together. That's why I was so weird with you in the beginning. I told you I was dealing with so much and I know I brought this on myself and us but I can't just sit by and watch Neila hurt you like this. And Gordon that's not even the worst part. While she was trying to win you she figured out Hayley was the key. That's why she kept putting so much focus on Hayley. But at first she told me she wasn't sure how she was going to handle Hayley. You see what she's done now but that was only because her first option she thought was taking to long. I feel bad for having to tell you this but her first option was to get Hayley out of the way. I don't know how to say this but she met Valerie and some way or another she found out Hayley is not your biological daughter. Gordon she even went so far as to secretly send off for a DNA test. I just found the results in her room. I put them in Hayley's bag too. Gordon please don't let Neila do this to you? I know we've had our differences and I know you're going to hate me for everything but I can't keep this secret anymore. You deserve to know what kind of woman it is that you're falling for.

I'm so sorry.

I was seeing red by the time I'd finished reading her handiwork. The bitch was loony and more ruthless than I'd even given her credit for. First of all, why would she even come up with a lie like this, especially about Hayley? Even if Hayley isn't his, how could she know when clearly Gordon doesn't? Who the hell is this Valerie ho? How can you send off for a "secret" DNA test, and the biggest question, how could she lie and say Neila would do something like this? I knew Deklyne was pissed about losing, but to do something like this as revenge or even to pathetically think it would keep her in the running is just beyond idiocy.

I reached in Hayley's bag, and sure enough there was another envelope inside. I ripped it open, and the first thing I saw was the logo, then a case number, but the main thing that caught my eye was the disclaimer, which basically said it _"_ _cannot be used as legal proof of paternity, because the identity of the persons tested cannot be verified._ _"_

A home-fucking-DNA test? A legit company, fine Deklyne, but what fucking sense does this make? For all anyone knows, she swabbed Maurice as the male and Alexis as the child. God only knew how she managed to get this far with this garbage and put Gordon's name on it. I knew for damn sure Gordon didn't allow her to get his DNA nor Hayley's. How did this nut even think she was going to get away with this? Did she think Neila would just confess to the lies when Gordon confronted her with this letter? Deklyne was a complete imbecile.

I grabbed everything and rushed into Deklyne's room, but she wasn't in there. After hearing everyone laughing downstairs, I went marching down. I still had the papers in hand, and seeing the four lovebirds all over each other stopped me dead in my tracks. They were all smiling and carrying on like there wasn't a care in the world, and I didn't want to mess that up with my anger. I made a detour to stuff the garbage in my purse, and then I spotted Deklyne back in her corner. She finally had a smile on her face as she watched everyone, but there was no way in hell I was about to let her play anymore of her games.

I walked over to her with a smile on my face, but she read my eyes perfectly. Her eyes responded with caution, and she timidly stood up. I just let out a small chortle, and she tried to ease away from me. I grabbed her arm, and panic flashed across her face as her eyes darted from my grip on her then back to my face. I smiled wider at the fear I saw in her eyes, but I shook my head in disgust. She was truly a weak bitch that preyed on people she considered to be weaker than herself.

"Don't run off, sweetheart," I said sweetly and brought her into a hug to whisper in her ear. "I know exactly what your scheming ass is up to."

"I don't know what you're—" She tried to pull away, so I held her tighter than necessary and heard her groan in discomfort.

"Do not try your bullshit with me," I advised her. "I found the note and the results you left in his daughter's bag, of all places."

"I didn't put anything in—"

"Keep playing stupid if you want to. That will not help you in the end." I squeezed her a little tighter, and she pulled her hand up and unsuccessfully tried to create space. "If you do anything to hurt Gordon or Neila, I'll personally make sure you regret that shit every day of your life. You lost the bet. Move on, Deklyne." I finally let her go then pinched her cheek. "Okay, sweetheart?"

I left her there, but her eyes gave away her intentions. Things were far from settled as far as she was concerned, but I didn't think too much more about her at the moment. I felt I had a new purpose to focus on: keeping Gordon happy. Keeping him happy clearly meant him and Neila together, and most definitely Deklyne kept in her place. As long as I could keep that balance, I believed Gordon would help me keep my own balance.

Her eyes were on me for longer than I liked, but I left the situation alone knowing I was doing what was needed to keep things in order. If she wanted to ruin anything, it would take a lot more than that foolishness. I winked at her one last time before she went running to the kitchen.

"That's only because you don't want to believe I'm responsible," Brentin barked, breaking into my thoughts.

"Look at how rambunctious you're getting," Gordon baited him with a smirk. "See, you want me to think you're responsible, but you're only twenty and you're in my face, drunk as a mother fucker."

"First of all, I'm not drunk." Brentin stood up, and the alcohol was clearly affecting him. "Second, you encouraged the shit."

"A test, sonny. It was all a test. And not only did you fail that, but you encouraged Terri to drink." He watched Brentin for a quiet second then he shook his head. "How am I supposed to see you as some responsible young man after I witness you trying to influence Terri to do things she shouldn't?"

"You know what?" Brentin argued. "Fuck it, and fuck you," he said drunkenly, and Gordon just laughed at him. "Laugh all you want. I'm still with her, and I'm fucking her."

Gordon's laughter died immediately, and the look of embarrassment on Terri's face caused me to erupt in my own laughter. I didn't see what she had to be embarrassed about. She was getting some and getting some from a very fine young man. Kudos, I thought. Still, I knew having her business outed by her drunken boyfriend wasn't anything she wanted to experience. The shit was funny, though.

"Brentin, that's entirely too far," Neila fussed and grabbed both of the bottles that were opened. The second was a bottle of Pinnacle Whipped Cream flavored Vodka. "Now see what happens when you drink?"

Gordon stood up and tried to grab Brentin, and when Brentin tried to push Gordon off, he fell to the floor. "You see this shit, Brentin?" Gordon asked, mocking his name and staring down at him.

"Gordon, will you leave him alone?" Neila huffed.

"Baby, I love you, but that's too hard," Gordon said with a smile on his face and winking at Neila.

Everybody kind of sucked in their breath after hearing him say that. I don't know why hearing it hit me so hard. It wasn't like he'd said it to me, but just hearing anyone say that word always caused me to flinch.

I'd never believed it. It was always said after someone did something awful to you that they just wanted you to accept because of "love" or they said it in such an aloof and recycled tone you knew it wasn't heartfelt. No one had ever said that word with a smile as sincere or with as much tenderness as Gordon had. He seemed so genuine with his declaration, and I couldn't help but wonder if he'd have that same sincerity when he finally said it to me.

"What?" Neila asked with a frown. I figured she was just as unnerved by hearing him say that as I was.

Gordon picked up on it quick, and his face flushed a little. I knew he was never one to show his nerves, but I could always tell when he got nervous. He took a few steps and looked then pointed at Brentin, I guessed trying to take attention off of what he'd just said. "It's fun . . . funny when I piss him off because I'm messing with him," he said lowly.

Neila slowly sat back in her seat, and seconds later, she poured her own shot of vodka. "Oh," was all she said after she downed it.

Gordon frowned at her in return, and I knew that wasn't the type of reaction he wanted from her. "Don't feel any pressure to say it back, sweetheart," I teased, and Gordon's eyes shot death at me. I was putting them on the spot, and it bothered him. I just smirked at him.

"Say what back?" Neila's dense ass asked.

"See Gordon," I started again and flopped down beside Neila. "This is why the first time you tell a jerk you love her, it's not in front of a room full of people."

Neila laughed crazily and tapped my thigh. "But I mean . . . I'm sure he was just kidding." She shrugged and shook her head a little. "We were all having fun. This was jokes. Jokes, people!" she bellowed with another laugh. "When you say you love someone and mean it, it's not a joke."

"No shit," Gordon told her, but she pretended not to hear.

Everyone was quiet a little while longer, and I giggled. "Be honest with yourself, Gordon. You wouldn't love her if she didn't have issues, now would you, Captain Save A Ho?"

He smirked at me, and everyone but Neila laughed. I finally sighed hoping tonight's drama was over, but that would just leave the door open for tomorrow's shit.

Fifty-Six : Deklyne

I paced back and forth in my room, and I was so upset with Cris to the point where I was literally crying. We hadn't talked in a hell of a long time, and when I actually decided to call him, he decided to act like a complete asshole. We'd been arguing for probably thirty minutes, and everything out of his mouth had been bullshit. I was trying so hard not to lose it on him, but he was just pissing me off so much.

"Cris, you're not making any sense," I cried into the phone and slammed my hand on the wall. "You're mad at me because I had to take some time to figure my shit out?"

"Lyne, I really don't get why you're acting like you care that I'm telling you this. We haven't talked for weeks. We haven't seen each other in months. You really expect me to be jumping for joy because you finally decide I'm worth some of your time?"

"It's not like that," I fussed.

"It is! Y eso es una mierda, Lyne. I'm not doing this with you anymore. You haven't been talking to me since how long ago? Now you want to put on the waterworks because I'm telling you it's officially over?" he bitched at me. "We've been over since the night you hung up in my face and told me not to call you," he told me bitterly.

"Cris, I was just having a hard time with everything that was going on with me," I tried to explain, and I made sure my voice wasn't hard anymore. I didn't even remember doing that to him, but I knew I had to sound remorseful.

"I heard about you, though. You were always showing up at that new club, and Paco saw you always pushing up on one of the owners," he said spitefully.

"So this is all about some rumors you've been hearing about me? Cris, you know Paco has always had a thing for me. Did he tell you about all of the times he's called me and tried to get me to sleep with him?" I exaggerated, but I knew all I had to do was lay the bait and he'd fall for it. "I still have his text."

"I really don't care about that. Pérdida de mi tiempo. Debería haber escuchado a mi madre. Bottom line, don't call me anymore. We're over. You want to play games? Find some other sucker."

With that he hung up in my face, and I just screamed and threw my phone on my bed. I couldn't believe all of this shit was happening to me. First Dani's stupid ass tries to throw her weight around and tell me what I'm not going to do, and now Cris wants to turn into some emotional bitch because I haven't given him any in a while.

Everybody was just losing their damn minds, and there was no way in hell I wasn't going to have some compensation for this shit. I needed to get away from every last one of these retards. I needed my fucking vacation, so as far as I was concerned this bet between my sisters was still on.

I was starting to think I might not even come back. I could start a new life, retard free, over in Milan. I wouldn't have to listen to anyone bitching about their life. I wouldn't have to worry about anyone's drama. I could finally just be myself without anyone breathing down my damn neck. All I had to do was get Gordon's pathetic ass to cooperate.

Neila may have pushed for some fake out relationship with him, but I knew she hadn't slept with him yet. I mean, she couldn't even say she loved him four nights ago. Did she really expect me to believe she'd sealed the deal? She wasn't like Dani; she wouldn't just have sex for the hell of it. Neila had to have some kind of emotional tie involved to even think about having sex with a guy. I'm not fooled. Neila doesn't even know what the word emotion means.

As for Gordon, he's a man, and he's the definition of an emotional bitch. Now the gloves just have to come off. Simple.

We all knew the basics of our bet. Our bet didn't end when someone got into a relationship with Gordon or if someone tricked his stupid ass into thinking he was in love. Our bet said the first one to bang him was the winner, so as far as I was concerned, he was still fair game.

How I was going to get him was a mystery once again, though. Thanks to Dani, I had to come up with another plan because the bitch trashed the results. Had things gone as planned, Gordon would have been too pissed for words right now. The one thing that would have been on his mind would have been revenge, and what better way to piss off a woman than by sleeping with her sister? I'm a fucking genius! But of course, Dani is the biggest blocker. She loved making my life hell, but I was too crafty to be stopped.

Thinking on an empty stomach was not going to work though, so I headed for the kitchen. Right when I hit the bottom of the stairs, someone rang the doorbell. I just sighed, already irritated by whoever it was. I took my time getting to the door, and when I finally opened it, I was greeted by Brentin.

"What's up Deklyne?" he asked with that stupid smile of his, and he leaned to give me a small hug. I didn't even try to return it. "Terri told me to meet her here," he said, and I guessed he was waiting for me to move out of the way.

"Did she?" I asked sarcastically.

"She did," he shot back, but laughed it off. "Stop playing, girl. Always acting like you hate me when I come around. You know you be happy to see me," he joked, and I frowned ready to tell him about himself. He stopped my rant before it started though by tickling my side a little. "Tell the truth."

"Brentin, don't touch me. Seriously," I warned him.

"Seriously," he mocked me and pretended to be a girl. I just rolled my eyes, and he smiled. "What's wrong with you?"

"I'm sick of you and Gordon constantly coming over here," I barked at him.

"You bitter because your sisters have men and you don't?" he joked, and I almost hit him.

"You don't know what I have," I fussed, but he only smiled harder.

"Don't be mad because they know how to get a man and keep him," he kept up with his bullshit.

I was just about to really explode, but then another thought popped in my head. He knew nothing about what was soon to happen to Neila and Gordon's so called relationship, but I could give him a sample. No problem.

"You're being really rude right now, Brentin," I said in a softer tone, and my expression softened.

He chuckled again and scratched his chin. "You know I'm only messing with you."

"So you say," I teased and lightly licked my lips. I was subtle with it. I didn't want to give it away that I was about to seduce him.

He did hesitate before he said anything again. "But anyway . . . I'm here for Terri."

I watched him for a few seconds then my hand moved to my hip, and his eyes went right to my exposed mid-drift, like I knew they would. "She's still out," I said uninterestedly. I had to make him think the thoughts popping into his head were all because of himself. "But . . . " I slowly smiled at him to make him think I was slowly warming up to his presence, "you know you can come in and wait for her." I slid over just enough so that our bodies would have to brush if he tried to step in.

He chuckled, and I bit my lip as I waited "innocently" for him to make a move. "Where is she?" he asked and remained where he stood.

"Out with Dani and little Chris." I laughed a little on the inside as I pictured Dani carrying that little niglette around with her. "They'll be back in a few," I said sweetly, but he still kept his place outside. I knew his nerves and dirty thoughts were beating his ass right now, and it was all I could do not to laugh in his face. "Brentin, come on in," I laughed anyway and pulled him in. I didn't let his hand go until we were sitting on the couch, and I pulled my legs under me and tuned to him. "So what's new with you?" I asked leaning over to rub his shoulder.

He shook his head a little, but he wouldn't look at me. He was making it all too clear that he was attracted to me, and this was going to be easier than I thought it would be. With Neila and Dani, I had to resort to all types of tricks and games. With Terri . . . please! She obviously had nothing on me. All it took with Brentin was for me to finally be nice to him to get his nerves rattled to the point where he couldn't look at me without losing himself. I fucking loved it. The real icing on the cake though was going to come from the look of pure torture and embarrassment on Terri's face when she found out.

"Nothing really," Brentin finally answered with a shrug.

"Oh come on," I pushed, moving closer to him. "I heard Gordon gave you a job at his club. That has to be nice." I figured I was going to have to pull a conversation out of him, but I wasn't going to let that annoy me. I was still too giddy at the thought of having Brentin eating out of the palm of my hand only a day or so before I figured out how to snatch Gordon.

"Yeah. It's better than my old customer service job. Pays more, too." He cleared his throat and repositioned himself, and I noticed the distance he put between us. "When is Terri coming back?"

I just shrugged, making sure the anger that flashed in me didn't surface to my face. I didn't want him thinking about her right now. I didn't care how loyal he felt he should be. He knew the thoughts going on in his head. That was all he needed to focus on.

"It won't be long. Terri wanted Checkers, and Dani offered to take her."

He nodded and repositioned himself, moving over again. I almost cussed at him for it then I realize his actions all had to do with his nerves. I had to remember that I was making him nervous. He was about to pop just because I was near him, and you better believe I was about to use that. If I pushed hard enough, I could have him probably with Terri walking in on us. That would be hilarious.

"She should've called me. I would have picked it up for her."

"That's sweet of you," I smiled at him and moved closer to him. He was next to the armrest now though, so he couldn't move away from me. "You really care about her, don't you?" I asked softly and like I was more focused on brushing off the nothing that was on his shirt.

"Yeah." He pushed my hand away and stood up. "I'm going to wait for her in her room, alright?" he said and turned to leave me.

He must have been out of his mind if he thought I was just going to give up that easy. I just followed right behind him, and before he went in Terri's room, I placed myself right in the doorway.

"Brentin, why are you acting so tense?"

"I'm not tense. I'm cautious," he said, and there was something different in his eyes. I knew he was trying to appear annoyed and loyal to Terri, but that would last for only so long.

"I'm not trying to make you feel uneasy. I just thought it would be nice if we had a chance to talk."

"We don't have anything to talk about," he said coldly.

His friendly demeanor was leaving second by second, and he was one wrong look away from having me really turn up the show. He had no idea who he was dealing with. I could make him a sad, little heap of a man in no time, and he was just about to make me prove it if he kept up with this defiant shit.

I was perfectly fine with just keeping this a sexual game, but now he's begging me to get in his head too. I knew how he was—how he had to be since he was with Terri. He was a protector, just like Gordon's ass. See a bitch cry and Brentin to the rescue, right bitch?

"Brentin, come on?" I whimpered with a wavering smile and a shrug. "You found plenty to talk about with my sisters," I bit my lip, and this time it wasn't teasingly, but he said nothing. "You've warmed up to all of my sisters. Why not me?" I gave a soft and unsure chuckle.

"You never seemed interested in getting to know me before now," he said to me in an accusatory tone.

"It's never been easy for me. Me and my sisters have always had problems, and we've never really tried to see past them. I've always felt like the black sheep in my family, and sometimes I feel like—"

"Deklyne, why do you think how you feel is relevant to me?"

I had to take a second to digest what he'd just said to me, but I knew blowing up on him wouldn't get me the result I was after. "I just thought you could be someone I could talk to," I tried to explain, and my voice purposely went a little flat. "I've been dealing with—"

"Out of everybody in your life, you expect me to believe I'm the somebody you felt would be the perfect person to come crying to?"

I laughed bitterly, but there was real anger that surfaced in it too. "Well if I'm crying don't you think there's a reason behind it?" I fussed as a tear successfully fell.

"Stop that," he said in a hard tone, and I knew he was talking about my crying. "Don't even make yourself look stupider than you already have."

"What the fuck?" I fussed at him. "When you show up here, you're all jokes and nice, and when I cry you tell me I look stupid?"

"You do." His voice was so firm, but he wasn't fussing. He was talking to me like some emotionless statue.

"I'm just trying to—"

"You're just trying to be on some bullshit."

I couldn't believe his nerve. "Don't talk to me like that," I warned him, but he didn't seem moved by my threat.

"Move, and this better be the last time you bring your shit to me," he told me with cold eyes.

I was just about to tell him exactly where he could go, but I noticed someone coming upstairs. I knew my odds of who it could be, and I took a gamble. I held Brentin's neck and pulled him into a kiss, but I watched the steps, and sure enough there was Terri. She had a look of horror on her face, and I almost laughed until I felt Brentin squeezing my arms and roughly moving me off of him. He held me so tight and the look in his eyes was so crazed, I damn near shit in my pants. I wasn't too sure if he was about to hit me or not, either.

"Did you think I was playing?" he fussed, but I couldn't say anything.

"Brentin, sweetheart," Dani called him calmly, and all eyes went to her as she held Chris. "It's evident she's a slut, but she's still a female. You're too good of a person to ignore that age-old rule." Brentin hesitated, but he eventually let me go. "We got some food for you in the kitchen. Go enjoy," she told him with a wink. "Terri will be down there in a minute."

Brentin gave me one last look before he left, and my temper went totally off the charts because of Dani. Was this bitch completely off her rocker? When was she going to get over this shit of thinking she could run everything? She was overdosing with this now, always in other people's business. No one has had a minute to themselves because she's been popping up everywhere, always wanting to know what everybody else was doing with their lives because she didn't have one of her own. And dumbass Terri and Brentin just hopped along and did whatever she told them to do.

"Dani, you don't run shit!" I screamed at her. "If I want to—" Before I could even get my thought out, Terri punched me. I fell back on the door frame and just glared at her for a second.

"Don't you ever touch him again!" At first I couldn't believe she even had the balls, and before I could react, she hit me again. "I'll freaking kill you!"

I'd had enough of her pathetic ass and punched her back. She was stupid to think she could hit me and not end up on the floor like every other time. She held her cheek and stayed on the floor, probably hoping that was the end of it.

Stupid bitch; she was about to pay. I reached for her, and she kicked at me, but I still managed to get three good hits to her face. Her hands were flying around so much though, so I had to try and pin her down. I would have been able to really hurt her, but the bitch pulled a weak move and grabbed my hair.

She pulled me down beside her and started punching the side of my head. I screamed for her to let go of my hair, but that was the only way her weak ass could keep me from beating her and she knew it.

Somehow she managed to stand over me, still holding my hair and hitting me. I tried to kick her, but she slammed my head on the ground, and everything went hazy for a second. Before I could do anything else, we were both being pulled apart. Brentin held Terri and Dani pushed me back.

"Touch him again, you ho!" Terri yelled and tried to break away from Brentin. "I've always hated you because you've always been a demon spawn bitch, but I guarantee you I will rip your face off if you try to come between us!"

"Terri!" Brentin tried to get her under control, and I just laughed at the pure rage I saw in her. "Terri, calm down."

"Shit, sweetheart," Dani laughed. "I guess we've finally found something that you'll fight for." She licked her lips and shrugged. "I don't know how I feel about it being over a man, but I guess I could understand the situation," the bitch kept talking like her thoughts mattered to somebody.

"Don't you ever come near him again!" Terri shouted and snatched away from Brentin. She tried to attack me, but he saved her in time.

She was going ape shit, and it was such comedy. Obviously, I could still get to her. She was over there about to breakdown, and I was now about to die from laughter. "Keep an eye on your man, Terri. He's a good kisser," I egged her on.

"He doesn't want your slut ass, bitch!" she cried and still acted like a wild animal.

"I'm good at getting men to fall for me, Terri," I laughed.

Even though I couldn't get him today, Terri still lost her marbles. I could only imagine what she'd do now with that hot image of me and Brentin branded in her mind. I'd give their relationship probably a week at best now that she was going to let insecurities take over the relationship.

"Brentin, take her downstairs," Dani said, and I was so ready for this bitch.

Terri still yelled BS out as Brentin carried her away, but my eyes stayed on Dani. She turned to me and just stared at me for what felt like hours. Chris wasn't with her anymore, so I figured she'd taken him to Neila's room during Terri's little tantrum. I really wanted to know what she was trying to prove, always having him around now. She wasn't a mother. She still had another child she was neglecting, so what was she trying to prove with Chris? She was probably trying to win Gordon with that same "motherly" shit Neila used. And she had the nerve to tell me the bet was over and to move on?

"You're just not going to get it are you?" she asked, shaking her head at me like I was a waste of her time. "You're pitiful, Deklyne. I don't even think there's a voice in your head telling you what you're doing is wrong. It's like you want to cause as much destruction as you can, and that shit is so pathetic. You never care how big of an idiot you make yourself look, and honestly, you must be an idiot to keep doing the things you do and think the shit won't burn you one day."

"What?" I squeaked in disbelief. She'd just pushed me over the edge I'd already been hanging off of. She had some nerve saying any of this to me.

"Why is your soul so full of hate for your own sisters? You act like we aren't dealing with the same shit—to some extent?"

"You really want to go all big sister on me, Dani? Really? You?"

"Why has being a conniving bitch suddenly turned into the only thing that matters to you?"

"You want to talk about me being a bitch when I learned everything from you?" I snapped. I'd had it with her. Who was she to open up her dumbass mouth and talk about me? "Who do you think you're fooling with what you're doing? Don't try to look down your nose at me. We both know how you make a living. We both know the things you're willing to do just for a few dollars, vacation trips, and a packed closet. And now you want to carry Chris around like some accessory? Give me a break, Dani. A neglectful, whore of a mother will always be worse than anything I could ever do."

My heart was beating a mile a minute when I was finally able to shut myself up. I knew what Dani was capable of when she exploded, and part of me wished I would have just shut my mouth. Listening to her say all of that to me was complete bull, though. I couldn't just stand there and take it.

"See, there was a time when talking to me like that would have had you picking yourself up from the floor, sweetheart. But I'm not lowering myself to that . . . for now anyway. I will say this: Everything you do, you better make sure it won't make me go back on that statement. I'm trying real hard to change my bullshit, but I will regulate if and when I have to," she told me lowly and moving closer to me.

"I'm not scared of you, Dani," I said back to her with anger everywhere in my voice, but I was lying through my teeth. "You're not going to force me to do anything . . . or not do anything." I stared her down as I spoke to her, and she just smiled.

"You're allowed to make your own decisions and mistakes, Deklyne. If you fuck up, don't beg for forgiveness or mercy," she threatened me before shaking her head and walking downstairs.

For too long I stood there and let her words get to me. Whose forgiveness did she think I would need? Her's? Terri's? Neila's? Every last one of them could kiss my ass. None of them had done a damn thing for my life, so why should I care about what happens to theirs?

Doing nothing but standing here and thinking about what Dani had said to me had me boiling again, and I was racing down the stairs to tear into Terri. All three of them were on their way into the kitchen, but I stopped before I caught up to them. I knew Dani would stick her nose in my business, and I realized I'd rather not deal with her again.

"Stupid fucking bitches," I said to myself, deciding to just leave them.

Before I got to the door though, I noticed Brentin's phone charging. Terri was still fussing in the kitchen, and I didn't like her attitude. Her having simple thoughts of me kissing Brentin wasn't good enough anymore, so I grabbed Brentin's phone and went to the bathroom. I stripped in record time and gave him four of the sexiest pictures he'd ever receive in his life, and I even made one of them his wallpaper. By the time I was done with him, Terri was going to be begging me for mercy and asking for my forgiveness so I'd give Brentin back to her. And it was going to be the same thing with Gordon and Neila.

Fifty-Seven : Terri

"Why you not out there dancing, baby?" Gordon asked me over the music as he served drinks behind the bar, and I sat at the end of the bar and sipped on my coke.

"I don't want to dance with anybody but Brentin," I complained, hating that I'd let Neila talk me into coming with her.

"Well, he's at work. That don't mean you can't go have fun, and you don't need a partner to dance. I definitely don't want you grinding on none of these knucklehead ass boys," he egged me on, but I just rolled my eyes as I scanned the dance floor. "What can I get you tonight, baby?" I heard him ask a scantily clad female who looked all too eager to come talk to him.

"Blue Long Island, sexy. Make sure you make it extra good for me too," she told him, looking at him as if she was mentally raping him.

"No problem," he smiled back at her, and I couldn't help the bitter and sicken expression that came over my face.

The female noticed and chuckled, but she waited until Gordon had left to fix her drink before she spoke to me. "Don't get salty because you can't hold his attention, bitch. Some women are good at getting men to fall for them," she said and seemed unimpressed by her appraising look of me, "and some bitches are just as irrelevant as you."

I wanted to ignore her, and I tried to make Gordon my focal point, so I watched him clowning around with another bartender. However, that didn't keep my focus well enough because her words struck too deep of a cord with me.

She sounded just like that damn demon bitch, and all I could hear in my head while I was trying to ignore this random female was Deklyne telling me that same thing and laughing about it. For a quick second, I even saw Deklyne's ugly face smiling back at me, and before I could blink, my drink was in her face.

She gasped and threw her hands up in shock, and that was all I needed to trigger me to defend myself. I wasn't about to let her ever put her hands on me again, so I pushed her off the stool. Her head hit some guy on her way down, and he turned around and cursed but just moved over when he saw me drop down to whoever this female was.

I thought I heard some excited murmurs around me, but the music was loud enough that people were probably just trying to talk over it about their own business. Even if they were talking because of me, I was more focused on not letting this piece of trash attack me.

I was smart enough to pull her closer to the wall though, just to keep from catching Gordon's eye. The random female cussed at me and tried to get up, but I just started choking her and leaned down so she could hear me.

"Don't you ever say anything like that to me again, bitch," I warned her, feeling more rage for her than I thought I should have. "And I suggest you stop eyeballing my sister's man like that before she comes over and finish what I've started."

I finally stood up and watched her as she coughed on the floor. She was so far under the bar and stool that she was barely visible to anyone who wasn't close by. I did notice that there were quite a few eyes on me though, and one dude had his phone out, but I didn't care. This whore-bag was lucky I decided to just leave things along because I still felt like pounding her face in.

"Keep your bitch ass right here, ho!" she screamed as she got up and stormed off. "Stay right there!" She tried to push pass laughing onlookers and got pushed back, but she made no more trouble.

I just shrugged and resumed my spot. A few seconds later, Gordon returned with the drink and frowned when he saw his customer was nowhere in sight. He gave me a questioning look, and I just shrugged again.

"Where did she go?" he finally asked me, and I cocked a brow at him.

"Why were you flirting with her?" I slightly fussed at him. He just smirked and pretended he couldn't hear me over the music. "I bet if I told Neila, you'd be able to hear what she had to say about it," I pressured him, and he laughed.

"It comes with the job. I have to make everyone feel welcomed," he said with that easy smile of his, and I couldn't fight the infectiousness of it.

I use to think it was weird that he could get me to smile just by showing me his, but after having Brentin's doing that to me all the time, it became easier to accept Gordon's ability to do the same. Maybe that was weird. I don't know.

"Being welcoming and flirty are two completely different things," I informed him, with my feelings becoming much more relaxed.

"That was flirty to you?" he questioned innocently. "I just smiled at her."

"Yeah, okay," I told him sarcastically.

A few seconds later I felt hands wrapping around me and someone kissing my cheek. I grinned so hard and let my body mesh with his and then I giggled.

"I missed you," I said all mushy-like while spinning to face him, and he laughed.

"It's only been like thirty minutes," he told me before kissing me again.

"Excuse me, employee," Gordon butted-in. "Ain't you supposed to be securing shit?"

"I'm on break, if you don't mind, sir," Brentin shot back at him.

"You took a break thirty minutes ago," Gordon fussed.

"Well, now I'm on lunch," Brentin said back with a smile before kissing me once again.

I felt him gently pushing his tongue into my mouth, and he slid me closer to the edge of the stool and gripped my thighs. He grind between my legs a little, and I tried to pull back a little because I thought he was getting a little too heated while he was supposed to be working. He moaned in protest though, and held my head and kissed me a little longer, but I did finally pull away.

He had a slight pout on, and I just shook my head at him. He was being so feverish and almost goofy now, and that was making me question him a little. It wasn't like he lacked affection or a funny bone, but I knew him well enough to know he was slightly out of character. I just tapped his nose with my finger and giggled at him because I had a feeling why he was acting this way.

"You look like a Blue Long Island kind of woman." I heard Gordon say then I saw him caking in the face of another female the second she sat down. "Here you go, baby. I saw you on your way over and had to have it ready for you," he said, handing her the glass. She smiled and reached in her purse to pay, but Gordon waved her off. "It's on the house. No worries, pretty lady." She smiled her thanks before walking off, and again Gordon had melted the thoughts of another woman.

What the hell was his problem? Why was he proving that all it took for a disgusting female to have a man wrapped around her finger was to flaunt her body in his face? Gordon was involved, yet here he was smiling in these women's faces and offering them free drinks. Gordon didn't care that these female's thought they could just snatch whatever man they wanted, regardless if he was with somebody or not. He was laughing at it! While Neila was somewhere thinking about him, he was smiling and having a good time with females who were trying to steal him.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard Brentin chuckle in my ear then he kissed my head. "Why you looking so mad?" he asked and stroked my hair.

Gordon laughed this time and stepped from around the bar. "She mad at me for flirting with women."

"Why are you doing it?" I fussed, and both he and Brentin laughed at me this time.

"I told you it's part of the job. The easier I can get them to believe I think they're something special, the more they'll come. The more they come, the more thirsty dudes will come. I told Brentin to be welcoming too," he told me with a smirk and slapped Brentin's shoulder.

Brentin just nudged him away, and Gordon chuckled at the look I was giving Brentin. "I don't do that, Terri," he told me with firm eye contact and Gordon still chuckled in the background.

"You know I'm not telling him to disrespect you, and I don't disrespect Neila," he tried to assure me, but my expression told all.

"You're flirting with other women, Gordon, women who I'm sure it's their mission in life to make other people miserable," I argued. "That's disrespect."

"Since I've been with Neila, I haven't held a real conversation with one person who's paid cover charge," he said in a tone that expressed he was about to give me a list of some kind, "I don't go mingle with people too much. I don't sit with the VIP. I don't dance—I don't touch these women, and I don't let them touch me," he said like some suave defense attorney. "All I do is throw out a smile and a _'_ _You look good_ _.'_ This is a social business, and I have to have social customer service, not professional customer service. And besides, I don't care one thing about these women. My woman is up in my office waiting on me," he said with a smile and nodded for us to follow behind him.

Once we were inside his office, he kissed Neila, who was behind his desk and already eating the dinner she'd made for us.

"I really don't understand why you agreed to come out if you were going to sit up here all night," he teased her.

"And you brought dinner. Who does that?" Brentin added on.

"Well, what were we supposed to eat when we got hungry, the nuts?" she tried to defend herself.

"You eat after the club, Neila," Brentin tried to explain to her, and Gordon just laughed.

Brentin's mocking didn't keep him from fixing the both of us plates though as I sat on the couch and Neila and Gordon did their own freaky things. I couldn't help but watch them . . . or Gordon, rather. I was starting to notice how in heat he really was. I mean, every time I saw them around each other, it was always Gordon making the moves on Neila. Granted Neila is a stiff, but after witnessing how on females Gordon could be, I saw him in a new light now.

Neila seemed to adjust to it, though. She was trying to hide it, but there was a fever in her eyes that she only got when Gordon was around. Her attention did continue to shoot towards us as if she didn't want us to notice how much she was enjoying Gordon's performance and probably how much she wanted to reciprocate the affections he was giving her. So hey, if she liked it, I guess I should love it.

Brentin sat down beside me and set my plate on the coffee table, but for some reason, I didn't have as much of an appetite as I thought I did. I couldn't help but think about what Brentin might have been doing with women when I wasn't around. I mean, Gordon thought he could just excuse his flirting as part of his job, but I was sure he'd never tell Neila that he considered flirting a requirement of good social customer service. How was I to know if Brentin wasn't doing as Gordon would have him do, and he just didn't want to tell me?

I hated the thought of any other female being too close to Brentin. I knew how scandalous and lowdown women could be, and I was damn near terrified by the thought of anything happening to our relationship because of some filthy female.

"You're not hungry, baby?" he asked me and slid my plate closer to me.

I tried to focus on what he was saying, but my mind just wouldn't stop running. Watching Gordon act so carelessly with those women regardless that Neila was in the same building—and now he was all over her—and he was telling Brentin to flirt with other women—all of that was making me think all kinds of crazy thoughts.

I saw firsthand how the women Brentin would be working with acted, and I knew what Gordon was trying to purposely make them think just so "they'll come back." Why would he want Brentin to do that to me? I already had to deal with Deklyne, and now Gordon wanted to add random females to the equation. Deklyne was like a freaking pit bull when it came to hanging on to something she wanted, especially men. I was there for the dramatics she pulled when she was trying to win Gordon, and now she had her sights set on Brentin. Why would Gordon add more pressure on me?

"Do you know how beautiful you are when you look worried?" Brentin asked me with a smile on his face, almost like he was holding in a laugh. "I mean, you're always beautiful, and it's not like I want to see you worried, but you just look so cute when you're worried."

It was quiet for a few seconds as we just stared at each other, and I wasn't sure if he was waiting for me to say something or he only wanted to say what he'd already said. Either way, he just chuckled then went back to eating his mash potatoes.

"You can tell me whatever it is, baby," he told me after a while, but his eyes were focused on his plate. When I took too long to answer though, he watched me then put his plate down and slid closer to me. "You're not worried about what Gordon said, are you?" I turned my head away from him then, but he used his pointer to make me face him. "No woman has my heart like you do, Terri. You can trust that. I'm not willing to give you up for anything or anybody."

I wanted to believe that, but the image of woman throwing themselves at him bothered me to no end. "Gordon flirts with women, and that's not right. He—"

"It doesn't mean anything to him," he said with a small frown and smile. "He thinks it's all part of the job. Half—probably most of what he says to those women are lies."

"Well even if they are lies, I don't want you flirt—"

"I never will. You know you don't have question that, Terri. If that's what the issue is, don't worry about it."

"How can I not worry about it?" I fussed a little. "How many women have flirted with you then?" I asked, knowing if Gordon was getting the looks and attention he was getting, Brentin had to be getting the same.

"Terri, we're happy with each other, so there's no need to bring in unnecessary garbage. If you can't ignore the nonsense and you feel doubts trying to take over your mind, kill it with your happiness. Don't get so worked up," he told me with a peck before going back to eating. "But to ease your mind, a few women flirted, but I brushed every one of them off. And for the record, Gordon does the same. . . . Well, he may flirt, but he brushes it off because he's not trying to be a bad guy."

"Why are you always defending him?" I huffed.

"I'm not," he said with a stuffed mouth. "I'm just saying, he's not flirting because he can't help himself or because he doesn't care about Neila. Look at him," he said in playful disgust as he watched Gordon and Neila. "He's whipped," he chuckled.

Honestly, why was I getting myself so worked up? Gordon was over the moon for Neila. He would never hurt her. It was probably a task for him to hurt anyone in his life because he just couldn't help but to try and fix everybody's problems. I guess it wasn't that big of a deal that he was doing meaningless flirting. He didn't look or smile at those women the way he did with Neila, and he only considered those women to be part of his occupation. With Brentin, he'd never been the type to be tempted by a female. He had more self-control than I'd ever seen anybody with. Even when he'd get upset, he never seemed rattled.

Deklyne was the only other reason I could think of as to why I'd gotten so worked up, and I hated to admit to that. I hated feeling threatened by her and allowing her to shovel this much concern in my head, but I couldn't deny there was a slight discomfort in me. But Deklyne couldn't get Gordon to turn away from Neila, so I shouldn't even give time to the thought that she could get Brentin to turn away from me. I was just letting ill feelings get the better of me, and I had to control that.

"Come on, woman," Gordon demanded Neila, dragging her from her seat.

"No. I'm not going down there," she protested and tried to pull out of his grasp.

"I want to dance with you," he told her softly, and he brought their bodies together.

"But you're a terrible dancer. I don't feel like being embarrassed tonight," she said so nonchalantly and as if she didn't think he had feelings.

"I know how to two-step, dammit," he said with attitude, and I chuckled.

"No, Gordon," she responded forcefully and pushed him away. "I'm not going down there. I told you I don't do clubs. This is as good as it gets."

He shook his head, and I heard him scoff a little. I could tell the situation was still bothering him, but he was taking his time thinking about how to deal with it. "Get out," he finally ordered me and Brentin, turning to us with a blank face.

Brentin still had food in his mouth when he asked, "Why?" with the same tone Gordon had just used.

"Because she doesn't want to dance, so we're going to use this time for something else. And I'm sure she doesn't want her baby sister to see how she likes to get down," he fussed, and Brentin laughed.

"Gordon, you cannot be serious," Neila huffed in annoyance. "We have yet to hold a mature dialog about this acquaintanceship between you and I because of your continued antics. You do not get to demand that from me because I don't want to dance with you. I don't like clubs. Now, that's just unfortunate if it hurts your feelings." I heard Neila trying to be sincere, but Gordon clearly didn't care. He wouldn't even look at her.

"Get out," he told us again, and Brentin laughed harder.

He grabbed his biscuit off his plate before grabbing my hand and leading me to the door. "Gordon man, I teach classes down at the 'Y'. You should consider dropping by," he teased and did a little dance with Neila before Gordon pushed him out.

Brentin seemed to be so loose and jokey right now, and after seeing him Tango with Neila, my suspicions were confirmed that he'd been sipping on the job. I didn't mind it too much, though. I liked his playful side. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a deep kiss then I felt his hand slide lower to my butt.

"Ask Gordon to let you go home early?" I whispered to him, and he pecked my lips again before opening the door.

Gordon had already had his shirt off while Neila was laying across his desk, but she looked as if she were trying to cool down the situation. "What the hell I told you was about to go down in here?" he fussed.

"I'm going home," Brentin told him.

"I don't give a damn right now," he informed and went back to kissing Neila's neck. "Aye!" he hollered before Brentin closed the door all the way. "Don't let Mike or Jon see you. They already bitching because they think I show you favoritism."

Brentin agreed before taking me home, and the whole drive there, my uneasy feeling started building itself back up. I'd been trying so hard to ignore it, but something told me ignoring wasn't going to make this problem go away. I had to deal with it head on. How I was going to do that, I had no clue. I couldn't even put my finger on where this anxiety was coming from, but the feeling got worse with each step I took toward my front door.

Brentin calmed me a little, walking behind me and holding my waist while kissing my neck. He almost made us fall twice, and I laughed because that didn't stop him. It felt good to laugh with him, and I was almost done with my worrying. As luck would have it though, Deklyne was sitting right there, on the couch eating ice cream and watching reruns of Good Times.

Brentin of course hadn't noticed her because he was too busy entertaining himself with different spots to kiss, and as I stood there looking at my problem, something clicked in my head. I was happy, and she wasn't. There was no reason for anything she did to affect me.

A smirk fell across my face once I saw complete annoyance in her eyes, and I laughed out right when I saw the anger. Brentin finally looked up, but before he could say anything I brought him into a long and lusty kiss, and I heard Deklyne's murmuring. That made me put a little extra in our show. When I finally pulled away from Brentin, he smirked then I patted his chest.

"Will you go get us some snacks? I'm going to want some later, and I know I'm going to be too tired to come down here."

"I can do that," he said, still smiling at me.

I just giggled and walked to the stairs. "Night-night, Dek," I told her. I don't know why I did what I did, and I had a good feeling that she'd try to retaliate some kind of way, but I just couldn't stop myself. And I thought it was funny.

Fifty-Eight : Dani

I took a deep breath before stepping out of my car. My stomach was in knots, and for some reason, I was terrified about what I was about to do. Today was Saturday. No school and nothing but time on my hands to do what I should have been doing a long time ago. It had become easier to manage Chris on my own, and after having both him and Hayley with no supervision, it made me feel as if it was time I see Alexis. I had everything all planned out to make sure today was as free of stress and bullshit as possible, but Alexis was old enough not be extra. I'd had her before without any problems, so I'm sure today wasn't about to be too different.

I opened the back door and kissed Chris on his forehead. "You're going to see your sister today, sweetheart," I cooed with a smile on my face. I felt foolish talking to him like that, but he always cracked up when I did it. I like hearing him laugh because it calmed me down, and that's exactly what I needed. "You think she's going to be okay?" He giggled again, and I gave him one more kiss before unbuckling him and walking up to the door.

I knew to prepare myself because I was about to be face to face with Macy. I'd called her a few days ago about picking up Alexis, but I didn't want to do it while Tavaris was here. God only knew why she was still with that man, but I didn't want her to feel as if I was trying to use Alexis to see Tavaris. I could have been wrong, but I thought it was more respectful to her to keep Tavaris out of the picture. The look on her face when she came to the door made it very clear that she didn't appreciate a damn thing, but what the fuck did she want me to do about it? She stayed . . . after catching him cheating with me. If the shit bothered her that much, she should've have left the father of my child. She knew she was bound to see me again.

"You need to understand a few things," she started in a controlled but completely hostile tone. "You're not going to just call my home anytime you get the feeling," she told me as if she thought she had an ounce of control over what the fuck I did.

It was clear she was begging for me to handle her ass; however, I held my tongue. I decided I'd give her some room to vent. Gordon helped me understand the importance of letting a person vent, especially when they felt wronged by you.

"You haven't consistently been in Lexi's life, and when you do have her, she comes home and cries," she insolently said, and I was not in the mood to hear anyone else down talking my parenting.

I did that enough to myself. Hearing that did hurt me, but what pissed me off was having this bitch throw it in my face just because she was too weak to come at me for the real reason she was so in her feelings.

"Because you are her _biological_ ," she stressed, "mother and because I want _Alexis_ ," she stressed again, "to know you, I'm agreeing to this on a trial basis, but don't you dare get comfortable with it."

I took a calming breath, but that ain't do shit. Still, I didn't let it show . . . much. "I understand, Macy," I said as politely as my nerves would allow, and I tried to step in the house.

She held her hand up and moved up to make me step back. "Dani, I didn't tell you to come in yet," she went on. "Don't ever invite yourself into my home. Do you understand me?" I licked my lips and smiled at her as I repositioned Chris. "This is my home that I share with Tavaris. I don't want you feeling some entitlement to this home because this is where Alexis lives. Don't you ever treat my home like it is or has anything that belongs to you."

I was getting so sick of hearing her talk, but I would much rather let her blow her hot air so this could go faster and smoother. "Is there anything else, Macy?" I once again spoke to her in a polite manner, and I'd made myself proud with the way I kept my composure. This bitch was teetering on her last branch, though.

"The comfort you have with calling my house needs to stop. The only time you can ever call my house is when you want to speak to Alexis or you want to speak to me about spending time with her."

I chuckled at her audacity. I'd never called this house before this occasion, that's number one. Two, I damn sure didn't need her permission to spend time with my daughter. Three, and probably the most important one, she had one more mother fucking time to try and dictate anything to me and she was going to wake up in the hospital.

If the bitch was still hot because I had her man in her bed, she needed to say that because all of this—ignoring that topic like it ain't happen, and instead bitching about calls I've never made, then staying with his bitch ass—all of that made her look weak. No, it didn't make her look weak; it proved she is weak.

"I'd like to see my child now," I told her with a smirk making its way to my face. I didn't want the bitch to come out of me, but this ho was pulling it out with all her damn might.

She let out a heavy sigh and shook her head, like she was trying to keep her own self from going off. I just chuckled again as I followed her into the living room. "Alexis baby, come on!" she yelled and kept her eyes on me.

I just refused to let her suck me in anymore, though. "I'll just have her tonight and tomorrow. Sunday night she'll be back with you."

"Of course. Did you think she was moving in with you?" she asked with cynicism.

Again I ignored her as we both waited for Alexis to come down. It took her a while, and when she finally did come down, she was creeping until she hit the bottom stair. That's when she ran over to Macy and held her hand.

I frowned a little, feeling something burn the pit of my stomach. "Lexi, you ready?" I asked her uneasily.

She just looked up at Macy, who held onto her just as tight. "I don't want to go," she damn near pleaded with that bitch.

"Alexis," I called her, repositioning Chris again. I felt a slow dark feeling starting to creep into the room, and it felt like it was coming right for me. I should have expected this, though. The fuck was I thinking, coming over here? "Come on," I told her, trying not to get annoyed too fast.

"Macy, I don't want to go with her." She hugged Macy, and that bitch stroked her hair like she was hurting for Alexis, but I knew she was eating up this shit.

"Alexis, let's go," I fussed at her.

"No! I don't want to go with you!"

Hearing her say that stung, and I felt my heart drop. I had a feeling some bullshit like this might happen. This is exactly why I didn't want to come here in the first place. Gordon's dumb ass kept talking about . . . just fucking useless garbage is what it was.

"Alexis, I didn't come all the way over here for nothing," I tried to warn her, but my voice didn't convey my anger. I sounded more like a weak bitch . . . like Macy.

"So?" she fussed. "Just leave me alone."

"Alexis," Macy called her, but my body was too numb to say anything myself. "That's still your mother."

"No she's not," she said with so much anger, and it was like I could hear that statement echoing in my head and all the way down to my soul. "She's not my mommy! I don't want to go with her!" she cried, and I couldn't be still anymore.

I went charging over to her, but Macy stood in front of her. That didn't keep me from putting her little ass in her place. "Fine, Alexis! You want to believe your father? Fine! I'm not your mother! I ain't shit to you! You don't mean a fucking thing to me! My life will be just fine without your ass!" I turned to leave, but of course Macy had to say something.

"That's how you speak to a little girl? your own daughter?" she questioned in disgust, but her opinion meant shit to me.

"You heard what the fuck she said," I explained to her dumb ass. "I'm not her mother!"

"She's a child, Dani! She's a child that's been hurt by her mother! How do you expect her to feel and react to the things you do? You need to get your life together," she tried to lecture. Just what I needed, another life coach in this bitch.

"Macy, fuck you. Fuck Tavaris. Fuck the lies he feeds everybody in his life. Fuck what he made my child think of me!"

"Don't blame him! Your actions are yours alone. You're the worst mother because of you," she spat at me.

All I saw was red once she said that, and Chris was left on the couch and that bitch was on the floor all within the blink of an eye. Alexis screamed in the corner as I beat the shit out of Macy's stupid ass, and had I really lost my mind, I would have pushed Alexis off of me when she ran over to get me to stop. Instead, I just glared at the both of them.

"Don't you ever say no shit like that to me. I know what a fucked up mother is, and that's not me," I fussed, but I knew the truth. I just couldn't face it.

"Get the hell out of my house! You're trash! You're worthless. No wonder your own blood doesn't want you."

Again I felt like my chest was being ripped open, but I forced myself to laugh it off. "Yeah well your man doesn't want you," I threw in her face and grabbed Chris, who was now crying.

She shot fire at me with her eyes, but she kept her pathetic ass on the floor, huddling up with the girl. "You don't know anything about my man."

"I know his bitch ass was just on the phone with me telling me how much he loved me and wanted to get everything we had back." I turned to stare her down, and she wouldn't say anything. "I know that shit. I know he must not give a damn about you since he's so in love with me," I blasted, and she still just stared at me but finally climbed to her feet. "Speak, bitch! Say something!" I moved to her, putting more fear in her ass. "Like I thought, you weak ass bitch. Catch a nigga fucking his ex in your bed, and your ass stay with him and continue to take care of his child? Dumb ass bitch!" I screamed on my way out the door.

I wasn't even too aware of what all happened next. The only thing that wasn't blurry was the fact that the boy was dropped off somewhere, and I made a stop to the liquor store. It wasn't long after that I found myself on the bathroom floor, sitting in pieces of a broken mirror. There were a few empty bottles around me too, and I couldn't guess how much time had passed. All I knew was it was getting darker, and I didn't feel like getting up to turn on that damn light. I wanted the dark anyway because this world was a fucking waste! No matter how hard you tried, something was always going to pull you back down.

"This fucking shit," I slurred and tried to take another drink, but I'd picked up an empty bottle. I threw it away from me and cursed until I found the bottle I wanted sitting next to my thigh. When I found it, I just laughed and took a long swig before laughing again. "See what happens when you try shit that you know you can't fucking do?" I asked myself, wiping my mouth. I tried to pull myself up but only succeeded in dropping my fucking bottle. "Shit!" I fussed, pissed that some had poured out. "I can't even have my fucking drink in this bitch! Punk mother fucker!"

I grabbed the bottle and fell back on my ass before drinking more, that's when I noticed my legs were bleeding. I just screamed and kicked at the bottles and the broken mirror pieces, but only the bottles flew away from me. Everything was always either breaking and cutting me or flying away from me. Fucking typical!

So what the girl didn't want me to be her mommy? I knew none of this would work. That bullshit was for the birds. That was for people who wanted to waste their lives raising more pieces of shit trash to litter this fucked up world with. If she didn't want me to be her mother, fine. Fuck it. Gordon was the only one . . .

Gordon did this. He was . . . He was the one . . .

I coughed and wiped my face, just now realizing I was crying. "Gordon, you fucking bastard!" I wiped at my face again and finally stood up, but I fell when I tried to walk. "You didn't . . . Now when I need . . . " I blubbered but couldn't put together a complete thought as I rocked uncontrollably on my knees. "Talking . . . " I took a few quick breaths and tried to steady myself, but I still wobbled. "Talking about you fucking care—you dumb mother fucker." I moaned to try and keep my cries in, but I only succeeded in messing up my breathing, and I started coughing again. I felt so weak and pathetic, and it was all for nothing.

I crawled around on the floor, grabbing my bottle and making my way to lean against the tub. I brought the bottle to my lips but let it drop when I thought about calling Gordon. He was supposed to be here helping me with this. I was doing this for him, so he needed to be here for me. I attempted to get up to find my phone, but I flopped back down when I remembered that he was probably somewhere with Neila. They were always together.

"You love her, Gordon," I said with a smile I didn't feel, and I could see them standing and holding each other in front of me.

They were smiling like they were the only two people who mattered. He looked at her like he was her protector, like he'd never let her fall so low to the point even her own family turned their backs on her. They were happy together.

Why the fuck did they get to be happy? I bet if he really knew who Neila was they wouldn't be together and happy anymore. If he knew the reason she couldn't say she loved him was because he was just some bet she was trying to win he wouldn't have his nose so far up her ass that he completely forgot about me. If he knew why she could never care about him he wouldn't love her anymore. I just laughed at the thought and tried to top off the bottle, but I passed out.

Fifty-Nine : Gordon

It was around nine o'clock at night, and I stood at Dani's door for a good five minutes knocking and ringing her bell, but she wouldn't come to the door. Her car was parked though, so I knew she was home. Not only that, the way her car was parked let me know she had to still be out of it due to yesterday's "fun."

I didn't care what her state of mind was, though. She needed to explain the dumb ass message she left on my phone yesterday. I tried to give myself at least a day or so to calm down, but the harder I tried to ignore what she said, the more I had snapped at other people.

All day I'd been hearing her tell me how Neila was going to be my downfall and the reason my life would be ruined. She kept trying to allude to Neila not caring about me and insinuating that she knew why Neila didn't love me. That's what really kept pushing me over the edge, but I tried to take into account that she was drunk. Still, that only calmed me a little.

Something told me she wasn't about to come to the door, though. I looked over to her car again, and I figured if that's how she left her car, I was pretty sure she wasn't too concerned with locking her door behind her.

Within the next thirty seconds, I'd made my way through her dark house and found her in a corner in her bedroom. The second I stepped in the doorway, I knew she was drinking. Only a small bit of light through the window illuminated her, but I heard the liquor swishing around the bottle as she drank. I brushed my waves forward before flipping on the light.

"Why are you going backwards?" I fussed at her, and anger kept me in my spot.

"Ha!" she laughed and threw her head back. It sounded off when it hit the wall, and she just laughed harder and leaned to her side. "I knew that was you, Gordon. Nobody else gives a damn to come over here." Her speech was so messed up, and she looked like hell.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Why are you doing this?" she mimicked me and laughed.

I walked completely in her room, and I felt so pissed—at myself and her. I didn't want to believe I was wasting my time, but she was proving to be everything I was trying to tell her was false. "Where's Chris?" I growled at her.

Her face burned after I asked her that, and her eyes got darker. "I don't give a fuck where that boy is!"

That was the last straw for me. I snatched the bottle away and slammed it on her dresser. She cursed me and tried to get up to fight me, and I roughly pulled her up. I didn't say anything to the foul things she was saying to me and just dragged her into her bathroom. What I saw when I flipped on the lights caught me off guard though, and I couldn't move for a few seconds. Every one of her mirrors were broken and blood was on the floor along with empty bottles. It damn near looked like a crime scene in here, and I wondered if maybe it would have been better to call somebody for her. After I took everything in, I just stared at her, and all she did was keep cussing me out.

I let her fall to the floor and went to find a broom to clean up her mess. The whole time I was cleaning, she sat there cursing at me, and she was pissing me off second by second. When I finally had everything cleaned up, I picked her up and threw her in the tub before cutting on the cold shower water. She went crazy like I knew she would, but I wouldn't let her out.

"Get away from me, Gordon!" she screamed, giving up resisting so she could try to block the water.

"Where's Chris?" He was the only concern I had at the moment, and I didn't care what I had to do to her to get that information.

"You're getting my hair wet!"

She tried to get out again, and I got fed up with her. I stepped out of my shoes and socks then stepped in the shower behind her. I held her arms down with one hand and used my other to keep her face still and directly under that water.

"You don't want your hair getting wet, but you'll sit here on the floor, cutting yourself? What sense does that make!"

She struggled against me, but I wouldn't let her go and ignored her ranting. It took her at least ten minutes before she finally settled down and went limp in my arms. I still kept her under the water for another minute or so then I set her on the edge of the tub. She slumped over, and I heard her crying a bit. Part of me just wanted to hold her until she calmed down, but I just shook my head at her and walked out of the bathroom.

I was soaked, and I shook my arms a bit to pitifully try to get some of the water off of me, but I knew I had to change. I went to Dani's room to see if she'd had any male's clothes lying around. It bothered me a little that I'd be wearing another man's clothes, but I wasn't about to walk around in these wet clothes. After a while though, I thought I was just going to have to do that until I went to her laundry room. Luckily I found a box labeled "Tavaris," and the name sounded familiar, but I just shrugged it off and grabbed an old t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts. I changed right there then put my clothes in the dyer.

I didn't know what to expect when I got back to Dani, but I brought her back some of her own clothes. She was still sitting on the tub, looking sorry. I could feel myself wanting to feel sorry for her, but I was just too sick of that. I thought she was doing better, and I couldn't deal with her going back and forth.

I threw a towel on her, and her eyes shot to me. I just glared at her, and she threw the towel back. I caught it before it slapped me in the face, and I dropped her clothes on the sink and went to her. For a second, I thought about just drying her off myself, but she was a grown woman. I just tossed the towel back in her lap and ignored her small complaints.

"You need to dry off and change," I instructed her. She fussed more, but this time I walked away from her. "Change, Dani!" I yelled before slamming the door. I waited for ten minutes before I got completely irritate with the time she was taking. "What are you doing—" I started in on her but stopped when I saw she'd changed and was just sitting and staring at the floor. "Tell me where Chris is," I told her, and she finally looked at me but kept quiet. "Now you want to play mute?" I walked to her and pulled her up by her arm. She struggled to get away from me, but that only made me grip her tighter. "Where's your son?" I asked her, walking her to the living room.

She finally managed to pull away from me and threw herself on the couch. "Where he belongs," she fussed.

"Which is?"

"Not with me," she huffed and stretched out on the couch.

"Danielle—"

"Why did you want me playing mommy?" she asked me scornfully.

I just frowned at her question for a second, not understanding her nonsense. "I didn't want you playing mommy. You're a mother. You're his mother. That's who you're supposed to be not play," I fussed at her.

She chuckled at my statement then put her focus on the ceiling. "I told you I was no good at it. . . . I never have been and never will be, and the kiddies know it." She threw her hands up then let them drop to her stomach. "I'm good at this, Gordon," she laughed again. "This is what I'm going to do from now on. I tried. Okay? Alexis doesn't want me to be her mother, so fuck it. I don't want to go through that anymore because it hur—it's pointless, and she doesn't want me to be her mother," she droned before giggling. "I guess she's had enough of her bullshit ass mama."

I got the clear feeling that she was trying to feel sorry for herself right then. "Danielle, this isn't about you or what you want or what hurts you. She's your child and so is Chris. You messed up. There is no 'poor me' in this situation. You just have to work harder to fix it."

"Or I could let them be better off," she shrugged.

"Where is Chris, Dani?" I asked, not feeling like going back and forth with her.

"He's with his sitter," she said and closed her eyes.

I was a bit relieved because I'd met Gloria, and I knew she wouldn't let anything happen to Chris. Having that news kind of took away most of the fuel for the argument, and I honestly didn't want to fight with her anymore, so I just left things along.

I wasn't ready to leave her yet, though. I knew the minute she woke up, she was going to go right back to her same routine. This woman was sick and slowly killing herself, and it was like everybody around her was just okay with it or too indifferent about it, even herself.

I sat on the loveseat for a long while, just watching her sleep then it dawned on me that she would definitely benefit from an AA meeting. I took my phone out to Google some meetings and only found two that were having beginner's meetings tomorrow morning. The first one, I didn't immediately recognize the address, so I went with the second choice. Tomorrow at 11:30 Dani was going to be there, and I was going to make sure of it. For the time being, I was just going to sleep right here in the living room with her.

It felt like only minutes later though when I was waking up to the sun shining in my face. I took a deep breath, trying to mentally prepare myself for round two. I looked over to Dani, and saw she was already awake and just sitting on the couch, watching the ceiling. I stretched and went to the bathroom first, washing my face and rinsing my mouth out with the Listerine she had. I went to get my clothes after that, and as I was buttoning my cuff, I saw she still hadn't moved.

"Go get dressed," I told her, and she just chuckled. "Dani, I'm serious. Go get dressed." I knew things could have possibly gone better if I'd tried to talk her into leaving with me. She was never one to take orders well.

"For what?" she laughed and threw her hands up in annoyance.

"I'm taking you to an AA meeting."

Her head twitched, but she was quiet for a second then she slowly turned to look at me. I didn't say anything to her, and she gave a bitter laugh as she stood to her feet. "You're what?" she asked me with an angry smirk on her face.

"You heard me," I said with a frown. I knew she was going to resist the idea, but this was for her own good and safety. "I can't get you to stop drinking, so what else can I do?"

"I don't need to stop drinking because I don't have a fucking problem!" she yelled and threw one of her statues at me.

I dodged it and watched it as it crashed to the floor. "You don't have a problem but you're throwing one of the only things you have a value for that isn't monetary?"

"Hayley is your child, Gordon," she growled at me. "You are not my daddy."

"I wonder if you knew his ass would you still be doing this to yourself." I knew I probably should have kept that to myself, not only because I knew she'd come after me but because that was a messed up thing to say. I held her off and nudged her down the hall, though. "Just go get dressed, Dani. Please?" I finally asked her. It took her a minute, but she eventually left to do what I'd asked.

It took a while before she felt she was ready to step out into the world, and we were almost late because of it. I had a feeling she was trying to drag things out purposely, but we managed to make it to the meeting during the welcoming. There was a lanky, preppy looking dude standing in the middle of a circle talking as we slipped in.

"...Walker Center Beginners Meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. I'm Joshua," he said before making eye contact with everyone and then placing his hand on his chest like he was about to say something important, "and I am an alcoholic."

Dani squirmed a bit in her seat, and I was almost sure she was about to bolt right back out of the door. The seats were arranged in a large circle, but there were quite a few empty seats. There were plenty of seats to choose from, but I knew Dani sat where she did because it was the closest to the door. I made sure to stay near her though, so she knew she wouldn't have a clean break if she tried to leave. Thinking about it though, I wasn't going to make her stay if she got up and left. I couldn't force her to do this.

"...to collect our thoughts and remember Tradition Five. Thank you." Joshua nodded across the room as a hush fell over the room. His eyes finally landed on me and Dani but primarily on Dani, and I got the sense that his look wasn't because we were new faces. "Okay," he said, breaking the long silence and walking to tap another man on the shoulder. "Richey will read the preamble. Thank you."

After Richey read the guidelines for the meeting, Joshua went on to talk about "the Big Book," saying it was like the Bible to alcoholics. He reminded everyone not to worry if the topic today didn't seem to apply specifically to them at the moment or if there seemed to be a lot of information to take in. He said the meeting topics were all in a cycle, so they repeated each one in time. He also wanted everyone, especially those who had no—or very little—experience of recovery, to look for the similarities rather than the differences.

The speaker took about twenty minutes, and as soon as he was done, Joshua dismissed us for break. Dani didn't waste any more time and was out the door. I chased her down and grabbed her arm to stop her as soon as she got outside.

"What are you doing?" I asked, but I kept emotion out of my voice.

"Why the fuck did you bring me here?" she fussed and pushed me, but I didn't answer her. She should have known that answer herself. "Stop making my business your business! This is my life, Gordon!"

"I'm just trying—"

"You're so concerned about my life and me hurting myself, but you won't worry about your own shit!"

"Danielle, you may not care about what happens to you, but I do. Now you're really pushing my patience because I don't have do this. I'm holding your hand and basically dragging you to do something that you should be doing for yourself."

After hearing myself say that, I wanted to knock myself in the head. I'd told myself over and over again I couldn't force her or change her, but here I was. Again!

"Bottom line, if you don't want to do this, I can't help you."

"Help me?" she mocked me, and I just shook my head. "You ever think that it was me helping you?" she spat and proved that she'd really lost her mind. What could she possibly think she was helping me with? "If I wasn't doing what I was doing, do you actually think you'd be as happy as you are with Neila?"

When she said that, I thought back to the message she'd left me. "What are you talking about? What are you doing that's helping me?"

"You don't even know how close to your own destruction you are. I could let truth come crashing down on that pretty little head of yours."

"The hell is it you keep referencing instead of just telling me?" I grabbed her arm, but she snatched away from me and stomped off. "Dani, you better tell me what the hell your problem is," I said, grabbing her again. Of course she fought me off and ran to the parking lot, but I caught her and pinned her up against someone's car. "Tell me what you're talking about!"

"You!" she screamed back at me, and when I felt her trying to push me off, I moved away from her. "You wanted me to stay away from you and Neila, so I did," she fussed. "You wanted me to stop drinking so much—and I did!"

I shook my head at her because I got the feeling she was holding onto something else. I could read it in her eyes, it was something deeper she felt so strongly about because forgetting about the toxic, basically nonexistent, relationship we had wouldn't cause this. I could admit, I appreciated her not making waves with Neila about the short involvement we had with each other, but she was going overboard to claim that's how she helped Neila and I be happy together. Now how she thought her drinking habits helped me that was way over my head.

"And I'm the one making it possible—allowing you to stay with Neila." I squinted at her, becoming more than irritated with what she was saying. How did she think she was making it possible for me to stay with Neila? "I'm the one helping ease her into that whole relationship idea you got cooked up in your head. I keep the bullshit in check, but what's really fucked up is you don't even see what you do to mess it up for yourself."

"What the hell do I do?"

"You're so worried about me, but Neila is who you're trying to make your woman," she said to me as if I was an idiot. "Do you know how many relationships I've ruined because men want to focus more on me instead of their women?" She stared me down with her question, and I didn't want to admit to the truth in what she was saying.

I did put a lot of energy into her, but I never neglected Neila for her. "I just wanted to help you, Dani"

"What is this sickness with you that you just have to come and save everybody? You don't know everything nor how to fix all that you meddle in."

"So I'm meddling now?"

"That's all you do! You think you're every woman's knight in shining armor, her savior. You're so addicted to thinking you have to guide the life of every woman you meet with an issue that you can't focus on keeping your own affairs intact."

"You know I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize what I have with Neila over you."

She just laughed at me before licking her lips. "Yeah, I guess I do know that, but does Neila? I see it in her eyes every time you show concern for me." She giggled this time, like she was actually enjoying things now. "So Gordon, all of your hard work would equal up to what exactly if you don't stop this obsession you have with me?"

For a short while, we just stared at each other: I glared and she smiled. "Dani," I warned her, "I'm not obsessed with you."

"Maybe not me, but damn sure your little delusional world of _'I have to fix you bitches so I don't have to focus on my own shit.'_ Are you sure you're willing to keep worrying about little ole' me?" she teased and rubbed her hands over my chest. "Because she's the one you love so deeply," she said mockingly then shrugged. "It doesn't matter if she doesn't feel the same, right? I mean, she's yet to say that to you. It's like pulling teeth to even get her to admit to being with you regardless that you two have clearly been fucking."

I felt my blood boiling, and it was hard for me to move because I didn't want to end up knocking her on her ass. I was trying damn hard not to admit it to myself that it bothered me that Neila couldn't bring herself to say she loved me that night. I knew she was a difficult woman when it came to emotions, and I didn't want to push her, but she wouldn't even let me bring that topic up anymore.

True we'd only known each other just shy of a year now, so it was understandable that we were still figuring each other out. That's what I had to remember—to drill into my head more so. Love was at first sight for me, not her. Hearing Dani throw that in my face burned like no other, though. I knew it was because she was lashing out, but she was about to succeed in getting me to give up on her ass.

"You don't demand so much from Neila and you don't constantly make her feel like she's not good enough, do you? But she still hasn't said she loved you. Now why is that?"

"Maybe it's the same reason you can't put the bottle down," I challenged her, but she just laughed.

"Gordon," she called my name teasingly. "You know I care about you," she smiled. "And you know for me that's a hard thing to do, damn near impossible."

"You care about me?" I questioned her sincerity.

"Yes. I care about you." Anger was heavy in her eyes as she stared me down for a second then she let a small smile tremble on her lips again. "No matter how low or useless or dumb you make me feel, I can't stop caring about you," she said and patted my cheek.

I moved her hand and shook my head at her. "How have I ever made you feel like that?"

"You made me think I was supposed to be better than this." There was a slight edge in her voice that I knew hid deeper pain. "You made me feel ashamed of who I was born to be, and I did nothing except pathetically try to prove myself to you while you treated me like shit. You'd rather give your palatable attention to the one who doesn't love you."

My temper went over the top when she said that, but I couldn't say anything. It was almost like I was giving her as much rope as she wanted to hang herself with.

"But even still," she said happily with her emotions changing like the wind, "you're willing to lose the one you love," she sneered, "because you won't get off my back." There was a pause but I didn't give her any type of reaction. "You care that fucking much about me, Gordon?" she fussed this time.

I was already pissed with her because of what she was doing to herself, number one. Now she was just blowing bullshit out her mouth just to get under my skin. "No, I don't," I finally told her, and her face dropped. It didn't bother me though because I'd had enough of her. "Let's go." I didn't wait for her to respond and just started walking off.

"Where are you going?" she yelled to my back, but I wouldn't answer. "You wouldn't just walk away from Neila!"

I heard her voice shaking, and I knew she was probably about to cry, but I didn't care. Her crying wasn't going to faze me, but all the things she was saying about Neila felt like she'd started a timer. As I walked, I wanted to get on her for that, but I thought it would be better if I ignored her. From the way I heard her charging up behind me, I knew that would be easier said than done, though.

"So this is how you show you—"

"Get in the car!" I turned to her and pointed to my car, but she just stood there. I shrugged my shoulders at her and got in, that's when she ran over and hit my hood. I just started up the car, and she ran to snatch the door open but only to fuss more.

"Why are you—"

"Get the fuck in or I'm leaving you up here. You can figure out your life by yourself because I ain't doing shit else for you."

She hesitated again, and I put the car in gear before she finally got in. The whole ride to her home she was deathly quiet. She was never quiet when she was upset, and I didn't know if I should have been thankful or concerned.

I got her out of my car without further incident, though. As I watched her walk inside her home, part of me knew she was moving further out of my life. I thought I should have been relieved to rid myself of the headache she brought, but as pissed off as I was with her, I wasn't relieved.

Sixty : Neila

I just stared at Gordon as he watched highlights on ESPN, purposely ignoring me. "Gordon," I fussed and crossed my arms over my chest.

He merely rolled his eyes and shook his head in discernible irritation then I heard him sigh. I felt disrespected, and it stung me a little that he could act so unsympathetic.

"Where were you last night . . . " I asked with half of the steam I'd just had because I couldn't escape the feeling he'd given me. He made me feel like an unwanted nuisance. " . . . and more than half of today?" I finally finished my concern.

"I told you I was just taking care of some business," he said, and the annoyance was audibly in his tone. He wouldn't look at me; however, and that bothered me more.

"So what was this business?" I shrugged in exasperation, and I tried to caution myself to calm down. I was an adult. Even with the frustration I was feeling, I knew there was a better way to get my thoughts out. Per contra, my emotions were getting the better of me. "What was so important that you couldn't call me or Hayley at all during that time? To top that, now you seem to be refusing to tell me." I stepped closer to him, and he brushed his hair forward. "What were you doing, Gordon?" I fussed again.

"It was nothing," he fussed back with an abhorred glare, and I squinted at his gall.

"I know you're lying to me—"

"What the fuck is your problem? I've yet to hear you tell me we're in a legitimate relationship, so what's up with questioning my whereabouts as if you have a right to know?"

He stood up, and the expression on his face almost killed me. I'd never seen him looking so upset and annoyed with me. A second ago, it was clear he wasn't in the best of moods, but now he looked down right vicious.

"I was already kind enough to tell you it was nothing. You're not about to keep questioning me. What you really need to do is let that shit go because it has nothing to do with your ass."

With each of his sentences, I could hear more and more anger come into his voice. Any other time a man raised his voice at me, I had no problems with dealing with him. It was as easy as blinking an eye to regulate any situation with a man thinking he could speak to me in such a way. With Gordon, however, I just couldn't deal. I whipped around and marched to snatch the door open. Before I could step out though, Gordon had an arm around my waist and was closing the door.

"Neila, wait?" he asked in an ill at ease tone, but it almost felt too little, too late.

"Gordon, let me go. You're not going to talk to me like that," I chided him.

He turned me to face him and used a finger to cuff my chin before he gently kissed me. I pushed away at first, but his firm grip kept me from going far. "I'm sorry. Okay?"

"You're talking to me like I'm some kind of—"

"Baby, I'm sorry," he pleaded, and we held each other's stare for a second.

I wanted to remain upset with him, but the look in his eyes was so soothing. I tried to break our eye contact so I could end the trance he was putting me in, but he pulled me closer to him and kissed me again. I could feel my anger slowly fading away, and I wasn't sure if I was just being stupid and weak to his touch. His kisses always made it easier to relax in his arms, even when I didn't want to.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go off on you like that," he gently said to me.

It was odd that he'd jump so far into deep end over something so trivial, and because I knew it was a trivial matter, I was nervous to bring things back up. I didn't want him to become bothered again, and perhaps I was making a mountain out of a molehill. Nonetheless, there was a nagging feeling in me that made me feel as if I had to know why he was unavailable to me for so long, and him being so adamant about not explaining things to me only added to my troubled feelings.

"Why would you get so angry about me asking you where you were?" I asked after building up the courage. He just shook his head, and he wouldn't look me in the eyes. "Gordon, tell me where you were," I demanded, feeling myself getting angry again.

He sighed and finally moved away from me before brushing his hair forward. "I don't want this to cause problems between us, baby," he told me, and I got the sense he was pleading with me to ignore my feelings.

"It will if you try to keep things from me," I warned him.

He sighed again, and I could tell he was having a hard time weighing his pros and cons. I decided to give him the time he needed because I wanted him to make the decision of whether or not he was going to be honest with me.

"I went . . . " he started but stopped short to stare at me as if he was trying to predict how angry I'd become.

Him doing that only heightened the negatives I was feeling. Despite it all, I remained silent, and he nervously licked his lips before he continued.

"I went to see Dani, and I slept at her house last night—"

"You what!" I bellowed, and it felt like I'd been punched in the chest. I was so close to putting my hands on him, and he obviously figured that out because he put more distance between us. "You did what, Gordon!" I advanced on him anyway, and he grabbed my arms to keep them away from him.

"I just slept there, Neila. Calm down, and listen to me," he fussed.

I snatched away from him and tried to leave again. I knew there was a reason he was always so involved with Dani and her emotions. He still wanted her. He couldn't wing himself from her charms, and he was selfishly taking me along on his little ride. Stupidly, I'd done nothing but let him.

"You cheated on me with my sister, Gordon?" I questioned with hurt as I walked, but I soon felt him wrap an arm around my waist. He easily picked me up and carried me back to the middle of the living room, but I did put up a struggle until he set me down in front of him. "I can't believe—"

"You know I wouldn't do that to you," he said calmly, and it upset me more to see him not show remorse.

"You've been thinking about her this entire time, Gordon," I fumed at him. "I see it in the way you look at her, and every time I bring her name up, there's a change in your eyes."

"I didn't have sex with her, Neila," he argued. "She was drunk. She started drinking again, and I wanted to help her."

"You can't help her, Gordon!" I yelled at him. "She's an adult. She makes her own decisions, and she has to live with them."

"I know that, but I just thought taking her to an AA meeting would—"

"Why are you so concerned with her?"

"Why aren't you?" he snapped at me. "That's your sister. Regardless if she's grown or not, that's your sister, and I've never seen you once try to help her."

"You don't know what I do for my sisters!" I screamed, feeling myself on edge, and I pushed him because I could no longer keep my hands to myself. "You don't know a thing, so don't stand here in my face and tell me this solely because I don't deal with her in the same manner you've decided to deal with her."

He hesitated then his face softened, and he tried to hug me. Only for a second or so did I resist him. "I'm sorry, baby," he said and softly kissed my neck. "I'm not trying to fight with you about this. I'm not." He rubbed my back, and it calmed me a little, but I hated what he was doing and how he was making me feel less than. "And I'm not worrying about Dani anymore. I don't want her issues doing this to us."

I heard what he was saying, but there was still a feeling of dissatisfaction resting in my stomach. "Why are you so concerned with her, Gordon? I have to know that reason," I tried to stress to him.

He just kissed me and hugged me a while longer then he moved his lips to whisper in my ear. "I care about her wellbeing as a person, and that's it. I don't have feelings for her, baby. I only love you."

I pulled my head back so I could look him in his eyes because I needed to see the honesty in them. "Tell me you're going to stay away from Dani," I practically demand.

A slight frown came to his face as he hesitated before speaking. "Me staying away from her would do what?" he asked and squinted. "Keep me from cheating on you?" His question hit me like tidal wave, and I was paralyzed for a second. "I told you I love you, Neila. Doing something like that has never crossed my mind. All I've ever wanted to do was help Dani."

"I know my sister, Gordon. Now I want you to promise me that you'll stay away from her," I told him firmly.

"I just told you I loved you again and that's all you're worried about, if I spend time with Dan—"

Before he could finish, someone was banging on his door then suddenly a woman rushed in, acting like a raging bull. "Are you fucking serious, Gordon!" she screamed at him, and before I could get out of the way, she'd pushed his head back.

"Valrie, get the fuck out of my house! Don't ever run up in my house, putting your hands on me," he fussed and moved me to the side.

I didn't know who this woman was, but another twinge of anger shot through me after seeing this random woman have an apparently deep connection with Gordon. Dani was already taking some getting used to. How did he expect me to be happy with him and he had women popping up everywhere?

This was one gigantic reason I'd remained single for so long. I assumed I knew Gordon so well, yet here he was today cursing me out for questioning his shady behavior, and now there was some random woman screaming at him for something else he'd done in the dark.

"If you had doubts about shit, you should've come to me!" she continued with her tirade. "You really think having one of your bitches do your dirty work would fly with me?"

"What are you talking about?" Gordon asked with clear irritation, but I gave him a side-eye as I wondered how much of his annoyance had to do with him knowing his dirt was about to come out. I decided to just sit back and watch him for the time being.

"What am I talking about?" the woman squawked, and her neck twitched. She laughed to herself as she pulled something out of her purse then threw it at Gordon. "That's what the fuck I'm talking about," she berated, and a slow frown crept on Gordon's face as he read what was in his hands.

"What is this?" he asked, and his voice was much lower than it had been all day.

"Your bitch's doing," she said matter-of-factly, and something in her eyes felt completely off. They looked like fire and as if she was ready to take on the world for her own personal reasons. "I have to give the bitch credit, though. It takes a crafty mother fucker to pull that off, don't you think?" she asked with sarcasm.

"This shit ain't real," Gordon said, and his voice had yet to change. Now I was more than a little curious to know what had visibly shut him down, and the anger I felt was suddenly turning into concern for him.

"Did you not see the label and stamp, Gordon?" she asked as if Gordon was trying to fool himself. "You don't get any more legit than that."

Gordon couldn't take his eyes off the paper. It was like he was reading everything over and over again, trying to either change what he was reading or discover some hidden invalidity. I still had no clue what to do, and the woman ran upstairs. As soon as Gordon heard her thunderous footsteps though, he took off after her. Something in me wouldn't allow me to stand still, and I followed the both of them.

"What are you doing?" he barked at her, and there was nothing but pure rage in his voice now.

She wouldn't stop to respond to him, so he snatched her to face him. She just pulled her arm away before fussing back with him. "Since Hayley clearly isn't someone you want to keep safe from your bitches and the mess they like to cause, you don't have to pretend to be Daddy anymore."

"Valrie, don't fucking play with me right now."

"No, you played me with that," she corrected him and pointed to that paper.

He bald it up and threw it over the railing. "That ain't shit," he fussed. "That's fake. I've never had a DNA test done."

She rolled her eyes and rushed to Hayley's room. "How do you explain those results?" she asked before opening Hayley's door. "Come on, baby girl."

Hayley was about to sprint over to this woman, but Gordon told her to stay in her room. She looked confused for a few moments but didn't move, and finally Gordon closed the door.

"She's leaving, Gordon," the woman said as if she had final say.

"Try to take my child from me and that's the last thing you'll ever do," he threatened her, but she just laughed.

"She's not your child!"

"I don't give a fuck what some bullshit paper says! I know I didn't take a DNA test. That's what the fuck I do know! Hayley is mine. Unless you're trying to tell me something," he spoke to her in a threatening tone now.

The woman looked towards Hayley's door, and I got the vibe that she felt things were getting too loud then she whispered to Gordon, "She's really not your daughter, Gordon." Despite her concern just seconds ago, a smug smirk sat on her lips, and Gordon's brow twitched in question at her declaration. "Hayley's not your daughter. I only let you claim her because our on-again, off-again relationship was on at the time. But seriously, if you had your doubts, you should have stated them back then and before Hayley got use to you. You shouldn't have waited to cry to some whore about it behind my back and Hayley's back. And you damn sure shouldn't have let some crazy bitch into her life that was willing to do this to her. You should have come to me, and I would have told you she's not your blood."

The both of us watched Gordon for a long moment, but he wouldn't do anything. It was hard to even tell if he was breathing or not. What was painfully clear however, was the hurt in his eyes. I'd never seen them so hollow-looking. He didn't look like the laid back, caring, goofy Gordon I was so use to. I could see a cloud, or better yet, a small storm forming in his eyes, and that look scared me.

"Gordon?" I called his name and tried to step to him, but his hard tone stopped me.

"Neila, I don't want to hear shit right now." He wouldn't even look at me, but the look the woman gave me put a daunting feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Oh, this is Neila?" the woman laughed and looked me up and down. I just frowned as I watched her antics. "So you let this bitch in your house even after what she did?" Both Gordon and I watched this woman in confusion, and I suddenly felt a headache coming on. "You clearly care about bitches more than Hayley," she droned with disgust.

"What?" was all Gordon seemed to be able to say to her.

Again, this woman laughed as if everything she was causing—all the pain and confusion— was just one big joke. "Your first slut, Dani," she began, like some teenage girl ready to spill the gossip she'd just heard, "tracked me down at my hotel today and called my room. You wouldn't believe all she told me," she smiled.

"Is this funny to you?" Gordon seethed.

I almost wanted to throw out an "I told you so" about Dani. I held my tongue, however. This woman had mentioned me, and only God knew what the reasoning behind it was. My torturous feeling grew by the second, as well, but something told me I knew exactly what Dani had done.

"What she did is not funny. No," she said, shaking her head. "Your stupidity is, though."

"Val," he whispered in warning.

"Her and her sisters played you, Gordon. They had a bet to see who could fuck you over the fastest and the hardest," she blabbed, and my heart sank. I wanted to stop her right then, but I was too petrified to do anything. "Dani was very informative and gave so many details," she bragged unnecessarily. "She told me she had your nose wide open at first, but Neila," she said and looked at me with a fake smile, "got jealous and tried to step her game up. Only problem with that was Hayley kept popping up. Dani said that bitch," she pointed at me, "wanted my baby out of the way."

I watched Gordon as he listened to this mad woman tell her lies, but I couldn't get a read on him. While I was stuck in complete shock, I was praying that he was able to see through this obvious nonsense.

"She said you wasn't too shy about explaining what type of woman you thought I was, so she figured she'd get Hayley out of the way by proving Hayley wasn't yours. I hear you basically handed Hayley over to her, but the results wasn't coming back fast enough so she just kept up with the mommy role that you fell for. So the shit worked out for her. Congratulate her, Gordon. She won," she said bitterly.

Gordon's eyes snapped towards me, and my heart slammed against my chest. I still didn't want to believe he gave credibility to anything this woman was saying. That was no matter however because his eyes burned me.

"I don't . . . " I tried to say, but my mind drew a blank.

"Now she gets to go tell her sisters that she has you wrapped around her finger. Oh and your other bitch, Dani, she asked me not to tell you it was her that gave up the information. I told her I wouldn't say shit. Won't you make sure she knows I didn't? Scary bitch knew I'd beat her ass so she left the results this ho got at the front desk."

Again Gordon was silent, and I didn't know what to do for a moment. Maybe I should have shut this raving lunatic up, but I was too in shock by the lies that were spewing from her mouth. "Gordon, she's not telling the whole—" I tried explain, but I snapped my mouth shut when he started stalking over to me.

"Tell me she's lying," he said calmly, but his eyes scared me.

"I . . . uhh—"

"Just tell me it's a lie, Neila. That's all I need to hear, and I'll believe you. You know I trust you, so tell me."

"Gordon—"

"Tell me she's lying," he ordered me, but now I was too frozen with fear to do anything. His anger was directed at me, and there seemed to be no way to appease him. "Neila, that shit better be a lie," he gritted out through his teeth, and I backed up more. "It's funny because I remember having a conversation about a situation like this with your ass with you calling me Mr. Mack Daddy. But all I need you to do right now is tell me all of this is a lie. I'll believe you, so tell me."

I wanted to tell him she was lying, but I couldn't. There were lies mixed with the truth, but I suddenly felt hearing the truth wouldn't make that much of a difference.

"You hear me fucking talking to you!" he hollered and punched the wall he'd backed me up to.

I flinched and screamed a little, but that didn't seem to waiver him. He couldn't even keep his body still because of the anger that seemed to be controlling him, and he shifted his weight on his feet as he glared down at me. My eyes tried to keep eye contact, but my instincts made me keep track of his hands as well.

"How did you do it?" he demanded an answer, but I still couldn't speak.

My mind was moving too slowly, and my emotions were trying to go haywire. Seeing his anger was so unsettling, and I just wanted to calm him down. I tried to hold his shoulders, but he pushed me back.

"Tell me what you did, Neila!"

Just then we heard the front door close. Gordon's face dropped as he looked down the stairs then he sprinted to Hayley's room. He didn't go pass the door frame and took off down the steps. I called after him and followed, and by the time I made it outside I saw Gordon at the passenger's side of the woman's car, trying to yank open the locked door. It was obvious he was trying to pull Hayley out of the car, and when he couldn't, I saw another piece of him break. He slammed his hands on the roof of the car, and I could see Hayley bawling in the front seat.

"You're not taking my child, Valrie!" Gordon blared loud enough for every neighbor to hear.

"Number one, Hayley shouldn't be around all these women who don't care about using and hurting her. You need to know who you bring around her. Two, she's not yours," the woman spat back, standing with her car door open and partially inside.

"Don't say that shit to me!" Gordon barked and slammed his hands on the roof again. "Open this fucking door!"

I could see Hayley jerk and cry harder from Gordon's outburst, and I thought it was best if he just let this woman get out of here to take Hayley out of this situation. "Gordon, please calm down?" I asked him and tried to pull him away from the car.

He ripped my hands away from him. "Don't fucking touch me right now," he snapped at me. "Get the fuck out of my face!"

"Look at Hayley!" I yelled back at him. "She's getting upset. Don't you think it would be best if she wasn't witnessing this? Just let her go with this woman so she can calm down."

"You don't give a fuck about Hayley!" he screamed and pointed in my face. "You just want her to leave because you don't want her here!"

"Gordon, how can you say that?" My voice shook, and I felt my whole mental state about to crack. "You know I love that little girl."

He squinted at me and stepped back then chuckled to himself. "You love her? You love her! You can't even say that to m—" I knew he had more to say to me, but his attention shifted to the woman once he heard the car start up. "Valrie, where the fuck are you taking her!" He hit the hood, and he tried to make it to her door, but she reversed too quickly. "Where are you going!" he screamed after the car then swung at the air. "Fuck!"

He ran back in his house, and I just stood there, feeling numb and stupid all at the same time. After a few more minutes and after noticing neighboring eyes on me, I went to find Gordon. He was pacing the living room and on his phone. I was about to speak to him again, but after hearing him curse out whoever he was talking to, I kept quiet.

"What hotel is she at?" he demanded. "I know she told you, and I promise to God if you don't tell me, I'm hurting you and her." The person responded to Gordon, but I figured it wasn't what he wanted to hear. "Don't lie to me!" After waiting a few seconds longer, he made another face then just hung up on what was being said to him. He started pacing again, and suddenly his eyes landed on me. His whole body went still, and the look in his eyes was murderous. "Why are you still here?" he asked me heartlessly.

"Gordon, you can't seriously think what she was saying was true?"

"What part was a lie?" he asked, getting excited again. "You couldn't seem to tell me that a few minutes ago, but I'm not supposed to believe what she said?"

My nerves were already shot, and I was doing my all to keep calm. "Gordon—"

"You had a DNA test done?" He gave me a chance to answer, but it was hard to get a sound out of my mouth.

I couldn't believe he was actually asking me this. "How would I even do that, Gordon?" I fussed. "When have I taken your DNA or Hayley's?"

"Don't play, Neila," he warned me, and I couldn't help but laugh. "You're a smart woman, and you have so many connections with all your big time companies you represent," he mocked as he rambled. "And you've had plenty of opportunities. You could have easily taken it when Hay—"

"Listen to yourself?" I pleaded with him. "There's no way any of this is possible. You're letting your emotions corrupt logic. There's no way this could be real."

"That fucking paper looks real, and you would have to go through a hell of a lot just to fake this—How did you even know about my relationship with Val? I've never told you anything about the kind of relationship we had."

"Exactly, Gordon! I knew nothing about you and her. This is all news to me as well."

"But the proof is right there! You're saying Val just made that shit up? She just out of the blue finds out about what you and your sisters are doing, and she gets a paternity test and makes this bullshit up?"

"I don't know what she did!"

"What about Dani, though?" he questioned bitterly and walked up to me. "Did she get the test done and now she's trying to set you up? Because Val says Hayley's not mine, and that fucking paper says she's not mine, so somebody did something, Neila."

"I do not know," I tried to emphasize.

"You know about this bet?" he scornfully asked, and my face flushed. "Because too much shit is making sense now. All of y'all ass was giving off vibes that y'all wanted me, and I'm thinking I'm just that mother fucker, but y'all was playing me?" he laughed.

"I—I—I—It's not like—"

"So Dani was trying to use sex to get to me, and Deklyne was—what the hell was she doing . . . oh . . . using her crazy, and you used Hayley."

"Gordon, I didn't!"

"Why the hell you kept cooking for us?"

My head was pounding now, and I felt as if I was sliding into a black hole. "Because I wanted to," I tried to explain.

"For the bet?" I couldn't answer him. I just held my hand up to gesture, but I don't even know what I was trying to get across. "Was that a lie too, Neila?" he questioned in such a callous tone.

"Just let me explain?" I whimpered a little.

"Do it! What you think I'm asking for?" He threw his hands up and walked away from me.

I tried to think of a way to start things off, but I couldn't. He kept a hard eye on me, and the longer he watched me, the harder it became for me to talk. "I can admit that it all started off as something stupid, but I could never go through with it."

"With what, telling Hayley I'm not her father?"

"I didn't do that!"

"So what did you do!" He knocked one of his lamps over, and I flinched.

"It's not even that big of a deal," I tried to coax him to understand. "We just wanted to see who'd . . . umm . . . "

"Who could play me the quickest?"

"No!" I said adamantly. "Gordon, I didn't do it to hurt you or Hayley."

"Oh, okay. You did it not caring if it would hurt me or Hayley. This was all a fucking game to you?"

"No!"

"You just wanted to see who could get me first?" he asked with a cynical smile. "That's it?" I wanted to tell him yes, and I almost nodded, but I froze. "You all decided to try and get with me, but why: just to say you could? you thought I was a great catch? I was the only dumb mother fucker that gave you all the time of day? What was it? Tell me."

"Gordon, there was . . . " I knew the answer, and I knew what he was trying to understand, but I also knew it was something that he'd feel was ten times worse than it really was, only because of all that had just happened. So what, our path to each other was started with a bet. That didn't alter what we had built with each other, but he was too distraught now to understand that. "You have to understand," I tried to explain.

"Neila, just tell me," he said calmly and with a smile, as if everything was normal. "Why were you and your sisters doing this? I want to know what the prize was. Was it me or was I just the obstacle to beat in order to win something else—which was clearly more important than what the fuck would happen to my life?" he suddenly flipped.

I direly wanted to ignore him, but I felt myself falling further into this madness with him. "What does it matter?" I tried to stall, and that only seemed to anger him more.

"Because I want to know!"

I thought about continuing to keep it all to myself, but a part of me felt he deserved to know the whole truth. I believed things weren't that bad, and I knew he'd overreact, but keeping my mouth shut was not proving to be as useful as I thought it would be. I took a deep breath, and even though I tried, I couldn't hold eye contact as I began to speak.

"Dani never had . . . umm . . . I think it was just the point that she just wanted you, and she knew she could have you," I confessed timidly, and he kept a straight face. I didn't know what he was thinking, and that made my nerves worse. "And Deklyne wanted a trip to Milan," I said and used a dismissive wave to show the unimportance of all of this.

A lengthy paused followed, and I felt my heart racing because my explanation was next. I couldn't bring myself to open my mouth, however. I knew this was what he was waiting to explode about. His emotions were all over the place right now, and I could not understand why he wanted more information to upset himself with.

In my silence, he just burned a hole in me with his eyes. "You forgetting somebody?" he asked in a knowing tone.

I felt a lump in my throat, and I tried to swallow the feelings building inside me, but my body started to tremble. A loud warning bell told me to just leave, that whatever came out of my mouth would be the end of me. I didn't want that, but Gordon wanted so badly to know. I wanted to believe what we'd done—what I'd done, wasn't so horrible, but I wasn't so positive now. Because of that, I was terrified to open my mouth.

"Neila?" he pressed, and I let out a shaky breath.

"Terri wasn't involved." I volunteered that answer, but I knew he didn't care about it. "And I . . . " My eyes burned a little, and I bit my lip, still taking my time. "I thought it would have been nice—it would have been nice if Deklyne would have gotten Terri a job." His first reaction was to laugh, and I stupidly tried to make myself believe that he was finding the humor in it all. However as time ticked by, his true emotions revealed themselves. "Gordon, it was all harmless," I tried to explain my intentions to him. "No one knew what would happen, but we didn't—"

"I fall in love with you, try to help your fucked up sister, and this was just a game to both of y'all?" he asked and I could hear pain in his voice. "Because you wanted to get Terri a job, I lose the woman I love, and Val is trying to take my daughter away from me?"

Hearing him say that felt like a knife against my flesh. I couldn't believe he was even considering that. I knew this would anger him—even without the lies from that crazy woman, but what I'd done was merely a small mistake. It wasn't anything to act so drastically over.

"You don't have to lose me. I never—"

"See," he laughed, but I saw no joy in it, "now I see why you couldn't say you loved me back." He shook his head at me, and when I tried to grab him, he pushed me back.

"I do," I cried to him, and I hadn't even realized I was getting this emotional. "I do love you, Gordon."

"Get out!"

"Please?" I begged him and tried to hold onto him, but he grabbed my arm and started pulling me back to his door. "Wait. Wait. Gordon, just wait?"

He wouldn't even let me say anything else before I was standing on the other side of his door. I wanted to go back in and talk to him, but something told me I had to give him time to calm down first. He was just upset, and he was letting his emotions get the better of him. I told myself that things would be different when he calmed down.

"I'm . . . I'm just going to let you calm down. Okay?" I called to him with tears heavily in my voice. I could barely get my sentence out, and I waited awhile for him to reply, but he never did. "I'll give you some time, Gordon," I whispered before backing away from the door.

Sixty-One : Neila

I sat in my office, motionless and staring at nothing because I was too busy thinking about the fight I'd had with Gordon yesterday. I felt completely drained, and I could focus on nothing. Every once and a while, I could feel fresh tears sliding down my face, and those were the only times I found strength to move to wipe them away.

There were no words to describe what I was feeling at this moment. I partly wanted to feel disgusted for conducting myself in such a way over a male human being. Instead of rationalizing like an adult, instead of dealing with Gordon in a cultivated manner, I sat here experiencing lachrymation of all things. I hadn't cried since I was a child, since I was maybe six or seven over something that was surely childish. I had grown up since then. What had happened in my life to suddenly change the way I dealt with a situation that didn't favor my fancy? What was this . . . nonsense that had me unable to function correctly?

Whatever it was, it caused such a deep impression on my mental state, such a large sense of a hole in my milieu. It literally felt as if something had been stolen from me. My mind wandered and before I knew it I was reacting in a way that was foreign to me. Nothing made sense anymore. Things felt—I felt odd and misplaced.

A few times I tried to focus on my cases, but it wouldn't take long before I was attempting to rein in an emotional display. This had already been my routine throughout the night, and now it seemed like all I was capable of doing. I couldn't stand this state I was in. More and more I started to wish I'd never given a second thought to anything concerning Gordon, but then I'd think of his smile or his laugh or his touch.

God, what was happening to me?

Over and over, I kept hearing his accusations blaring in my ear, and at no point could I come up with reason as to why he should believe I was capable of this fatuity. I was not a sneak. I wasn't duplicitous or mean spirited. I wasn't even giving my all to the bet. I was merely acting on instincts, instincts that I'd even tried to fight.

I wasn't like my sisters, who both approached this situation so cavalier. The both of them relished in this idea at first, finding the fun in the games and trickery. They were the ones with the bewitching moves, and I almost had a heart attack every time I tried to push further with him.

Guilt filled me for trying to throw blame on my sisters, but I knew I had nothing to do with this. I didn't want to believe either of my sisters had the nerve to do this either, but I had to look at everything. Deklyne has always been the type to do whatever was necessary to get what she wanted, and Dani had been acting strangely lately, and now we find out it's because her drinking was getting the better of her again. How could Gordon just dismiss this mess off on me? Val had even explained where she got all of her information, but it was like he wanted me to be responsible.

I couldn't sit with my thoughts anymore and jumped up to fix myself some coffee. Unfortunately for me, images of our argument flashed through my mind, so I just slammed the coffee pot down before I'd even poured then I knocked it off the table out of frustration.

Why was he just blaming me? Why was he dismissing this friendship he so gravely wanted? Why was he so willing to believe I'd hurt him? Why was this even affecting me this way? Why did I care if he no longer wanted to see me? Wasn't that something I should want?

The questions just wouldn't stop, and I couldn't stand still because of it.

Pacing didn't calm me in the least; however, it felt as if I was actually getting myself more worked up. I didn't want to feel like this: so broken and abandon. I felt like a part of myself was dying, and I just wanted to find a dark hole to crawl into just to hide from it all. All I wanted to do was forget everything that had happened, but that was like asking the impossible.

"I don't . . . I don't . . . " I tried to calm myself but nothing helped.

I propped my left hand on my hip as I continued to pace, and my right hand patted a constant rhythm on my throat. I think that was my body's way of reminding myself to keep control of my breathing, but my breathing got worse and worse with each step I took. I could feel myself falling into a deeper haze as labored noises shot from me as I tried to keep my cries in.

"Neila, what's going on?" I heard Luke behind me, but I couldn't stop moving to face him. "Neila?" He grabbed me and tried to make me face him, but I struggled against him.

"Just let me go!"

"Neila, calm down," he told me and pulled me to him, forcing our bodies to touch. I tried to pull away, but he smashed us together. "Why are you acting like this? What happened?" he whispered to me, and stroked my hair a little. I wanted to be away from him, but he wasn't about to allow that. "Neila, what happened?"

I tried not to say anything. I tried to keep it all in, but doing that only made it hurt worse, and I finally broke down in his arms. I'd never cried so hard, and I was too weak to even feel ashamed of myself anymore.

For about fifteen minutes, Luke was quiet and let me cry on his shoulder as he held me. He'd walked me over to the couch in that time, but he never spoke another word until he heard me calming down.

"Neila, talk to me. What is this about?"

I still found it hard to speak about what had happened. I hadn't even mention anything to my sisters, how could I say anything to Luke about this? This was my personal life. I shouldn't have brought this issue to my office, but this burden that I felt was like nothing I'd ever experienced. Even with all of the affliction and suffering my mother had brought into my childhood, I'd never felt powerless to handle my feelings. In fact, I've always believed I knew how to control a troubling situation with a level head because of her. I had never let my issues get to me before, but Gordon had affected me in such an extreme way. For the first time in my life, I felt I actually needed someone. I needed someone to take this weight off of me because I just couldn't handle it.

I kept my eyes off of Luke as I debated if I would say anything or not then I felt him wiping more of my tears away. I instantly grabbed his hand and sniffled a few times before I spoke. "It's Gordon," I barely got out.

He was quiet for a few seconds, and I got slightly annoyed as the seconds slipped by with him saying nothing. I knew he wouldn't know what was happening with just that small answer, but I'd admitted who the culprit was for my pain. I needed him to already know what to do to make this better. Had it been Gordon I was coming to, he would have known what to do. Gordon was always trying to fix an issue before anyone even admitted there was a problem.

"What did he do?" he finally asked, and I couldn't look at him because I didn't want to answer him.

What had Gordon done? He'd cast me off, but he had reason. I caused this by allowing myself to be a part of this game. I hadn't done any of those awful things he'd accused me of, and I honestly had no idea how any of it happened. Still, I was mired in something that could have arguably caused this aftermath.

"Neila, I told you it was a bad idea to get involved with him," Luke grumbled. "I had a bad feeling about him since the beginning. I knew he was underhanded and never cared—" He seemed to be releasing some pent-up frustration, but he snapped his mouth shut when I sprang from my seat.

I couldn't believe his audacity. He had no idea what he was talking about, and he had no reason to be so judgmental of a man he didn't even know. "Don't you dare talk about him as if you know him," I warned him.

"You're in here breaking down over him," he argued and stood up with me.

I shook my head and paced a little more. "You don't understand, Luke." My voice shook, and even though we both gave time for me to get myself together, both times I tried to speak after that were stopped by tears. I wiped them away, and he tried to offer me a glass of water, but I waved it away. "We just . . . " I tried to explain. "We're not in our accustomed state any longer, and I'm just not taking it well. That's all."

He sighed and tried to hold my hands, but I moved away from him again. "Neila, breakups are hard, but you have to believe that maybe this is for the best."

"How is this for the best?" I fussed at him, burning him with the glare I gave him.

"I only mean . . . " he paused, "maybe you're not meant to be with him. There has to be a reason you two broke up," he tried to explain to me.

"His daughter—" I argued, and something told me that I should just keep my business to myself, but I couldn't. I needed to make him understand that this was merely a miniscule impediment. "He found out his daughter, Hayley, isn't his biological daughter, and that news just really hit him hard," I said vaguely. "After years of him being her primary caretaker, Hayley's mother is now trying to take her from him, and he's just going through a lot right now. He couldn't manage everything in his life and . . . and he had to take the course of action he deemed was best for him," I said weakly, but now I was trying to convince myself more than Luke.

He was quiet for a while, I guess trying to digest the information, but I didn't put too much attention on him.

"So he's willing to hurt you like this because he'd rather be emotional than use his head?" he finally asked in annoyance. "He should know the mother can't just take the child. Since he thought the child was his, I'm sure he signed the birth certificate, that's number one. Number two," he rattled off as if he was explaining something that even a monkey should know, "if he's been the primary caregiver for years, there's no judge that will award the mother custody just because she wants the child now." He laughed to himself a little and shrugged. "He has no reason, other than being a selfish asshole, to take out on you what's happening to him. His doing this should show you how much he really cares about you, Neila."

I let the tail end of what he was saying float in the air and just focused on what I felt was relevant. I knew Gordon was emotional now, and it was because he felt he was losing his daughter. I couldn't even explain how wonderful the relief felt now that I had something to bring him that would ease his mind.

"Luke, you're absolutely right," I said, finally able to speak calmly and somewhat in a perky tone.

"I'm glad to hear you say that," he said and rubbed my shoulders. "I've been trying to get you to see this—" I cut him off when I moved his hands and walked over to my desk and grabbed my purse. "What are you doing?" he asked with a small smile on his face.

"I have to explain this to Gordon. Once he takes a breath and realizes the facts, I'm sure everything will work out, and—"

"Wait, you're about to chase after this man?" he questioned me and stepped in front of my path.

I frowned at him, but I kept myself from pushing pass him. "No I'm not chasing after anyone, Luke," I bit with irritation.

"That's exactly what you're doing. You're trying to run to make his problem better even after he hurt you."

I shook my head and finally pushed my way around him. "Listen, I really appreciate you listening to me, but you don't understand," I told him as I left him in my office.

It only took me fifteen minutes instead of my usual twenty-five to thirty minutes to get to Gordon's street. I had been so excited to tell him this news, but as I got closer to his home, my nerves started to set in. I had no idea if he was still upset or how upset he was. I wasn't even positive how he'd react to seeing me, but I knew I couldn't just wait around for things to get better on their own. I also knew things weren't going to be that easy, and that put a hard amount of terror in me. Pulling into his driveway and not seeing his car did help a quick feeling of relief wash over me, but then the panic soon returned after realizing I'd have to build myself up again to face him.

I sat in his empty driveway for about ten minutes, contemplating a way to explain things to him. I knew if his feelings were still all over the place, he wasn't going to want to hear anything, regardless of it being helpful. His just seeing my face would possibly be a trigger for him, but I knew I would have to keep myself calm in order to control the conversation. I wanted to have a face to face conversation with him, but his absence forced my hand, and I didn't want wait too long before I spoke with him.

However, just getting in contact with him was a harder task than I thought it would be because he didn't bother to answer any one of my first three calls. Each unanswered call wore on my nerves, and I had to take a few calming breaths. He was predictably still upset, and I had to accept that fact. I couldn't, however, let that shake me. I had a plan, and I just needed to stick to it. I waited five more minutes before I called twice more, but it wasn't until the third time that he finally answered. He didn't give me the warmest greeting, and I froze on the phone for a second, but I collected myself quickly enough.

"Gordon, I wanted to pass along some information I believed you'd be interested in," I told him calmly.

"What part of _'_ _I don't want to fucking talk to you_ _,'_ don't you understand?" he spat at me.

"Please, Gordon?" My voice shook, and I took a deep breath to better my nerves.

"I'm not—"

"She can't take Hayley," I blurted out, and he was quiet for a while. "She can't take Hayley from you, Gordon," I said with a little more confidence, now feeling what I had to tell him was the lifeline I needed.

"What are you talking about?" he asked lowly.

"You signed the birth certificate, correct?" He didn't answer me, but I knew the answer. "So there you go. Hayley is yours, and you're the parent that has been caring for her. I'm not sure what Hayley's mother does, but you have a stable, very lucrative career. When you moved, Hayley moved to live with you, so there's no way she could take Hayley, Gordon," I said with a laugh of relief.

Seconds painfully slipped by in silence, and with each one ticking away my confidence began to crumble. "Why are you telling me this?" he asked, still with his uncaring tone.

I hesitated, trying to come up with the best answer. "Because . . . You were upset about . . . You thought that woman was going to—"

"I'm not worried about losing Hayley to her mother, Neila. That woman couldn't take care of a rock. Ain't no way I'm worried any court would give her custody of my daughter."

I didn't really know how to respond to him just then. He was still passionately claiming Hayley, so the DNA results didn't seem to be a huge deal. He obviously wasn't worried about losing Hayley, so why was he still so upset with me?

"Well, what's the problem?" I voiced my concerned, and I heard him laughing in response.

"What's the problem?" he asked as if he was joking, and he laughed again. "What's the probl—You're the fucking problem! Why are you blowing up my phone?" he questioned me nastily, and I clenched my teeth to keep my head level.

"I already explained to you why—"

"I don't need you worrying about what happens to me and Hayley now. You sure didn't give a damn before," he fussed.

I felt a headache coming on, and I held my eyes closed for a second and massaged my temple. "I don't know how many times I'll have to say this before you believe me," I started off calmly. "I do care about you and Hayley, and I would never do something as repugnant as getting a DNA test done on her," I fussed at the end a little.

"I don't want to hear—"

"Well, you're going to have to hear! I was in on the bet," I barked, feeling myself about to be pushed over the edge. "I decided I'd try to get a playboy to sleep with me to get my sister a job. Completely Idiotic! I know that. If that was how things would have unfolded I would have done nothing short of making myself look like a cheap hooker. Howbeit, you weren't a playboy. I was too terrified to sleep with you at first, I haven't even told anyone that we're sleeping together, and we're still—we were building a nice friendship. I don't care about that bet, Gordon."

"The fuck is that supposed to mean to me?" he growled back at me. "You're telling me you meant to bullshit with my feelings, but things didn't go according to plan?" he asked sourly. "You just said you knew I wasn't the type of guy to sleep with just any female, but you kept going anyway."

"We can go back and forth with this all day. The only thing that is for certain is that the bet I had with my sisters was nothing but a catalyst to get me to know you."

"Are you serious?" I could hear the disbelief in his voice.

"I am, Gordon," I professed. "What happen between us was natural. It didn't occur because I was trying to win a bet. It happened because of you," I said with a trembling voice. I took a quick breath as I felt myself about to breakdown, and I wanted Gordon to say something, but he didn't. "Gordon, you said you loved me—"

"Neila," he called my name in a warning tone, but I heard the vulnerability in it as well.

"We fell in love—"

"So that makes what you did okay?" he asked as if he thought I'd lost my mind.

"No, but—"

"You and your sisters fucked with my head over some bullshit! To get jobs and go to Milan? I'm supposed to just say _'_ _It's all good_ _'_ because by chance we feel for each other?" I tried to answer him—a few times, but nothing would come from my mouth. "This fucking bet was so deep that Deklyne acts like a maniac, Dani turns into an alcoholic, but I'm supposed to magically get over this shit because I love you? But get this, one of you mother fuckers brings Hayley into this."

"I didn't do that!" I screamed at him as the tears freely fell.

"I really don't give a fuck which individual did! All y'all asses decided I wasn't shit but a damn toy, and my child was brought into this. This game could have cost me my child, Neila. You don't get a pass because of how I feel for you. See, people be telling me I need to stop caring about bitches so much, but I guarantee you've taught me a valuable ass lesson. I came to you real. I didn't lie to you once! You claim you realized I wasn't some playboy and you fell in love, but not once did you try to stop what was going on or even confess?"

"Gordon—"

"I want to believe if you would have said something, then I would have believed you cared how this would have affected me. Thing is, you were just looking out for yourself."

"It was all just—"

"You knew every step of the way how I felt, but it was never important enough to you to tell me what was going on. Why? Because you decided, _'_ _Oh he's not so bad after all_ _?'_ I would never do anything to hurt you or let anybody else hurt you, and if I do, I'm the one trying to fix it."

"I tried to fix this, Gordon," I fussed. "I tried to get them to give up on this bet, and on the same token, I knew you would've been angry—like you are now—if you found out what we'd been up to. I didn't want to upset you with something I decided wasn't anything worth pursuing. How I responded to you, that wasn't some game I was playing. You can't be upset with me for this bet because I didn't participate in it. The fact of the matter is because of everything with Hayley—which I had nothing to do with . . . I really—I really just think you're overreacting."

"Neila, you won't even fucking apologized for this shit! You just want me to get over it because you don't feel you had anything to do with it. You think I'm overreacting! You think I'm too in my own feelings, but your ass can't even think about what somebody else must be going through. You never cared about Terri sleeping around, Dani drinking, or me falling for an emotionless, self-serving schemer. You just want everybody to find a way to get over their own problems because you don't give a fuck!"

"Stop cursing at me!"

"Neila, fuck you," he snapped before he hung up on me.

Sixty-Two : Dani

I pulled my Ray-Ban sunglasses off as I entered Gracien Mills Assisted Living Facility. Every time I stepped foot in this place, a small part of me wondered why I footed the outrageous bill for such an unnecessary and lavish lifestyle. The floors were marble; the countertops were of the most unique granite; the lobby was adorned with Casablanca Lilies; crystal glass chandeliers were mounted and placed perfectly to draw attention to their glorious and elaborate design. This place would make you think some of the most important people in the world resided here instead of mentally unstable, ill, broken, and ultimately useless individuals.

I lingered by the door for a few moments as I watched some of the patients moseying around with staff, moving from one recreation room to another. Some of them were so doped up they actually appeared to enjoy and laugh at the nothing that they had and the mess that they were. Others were doped up even more to the point they appeared numb to everything. I didn't know which one I considered to be the best choice to live out their life. I could be the first one to admit, being drunk felt a hell of a lot better than dealing with life's slaps. The question was did I want to keep laughing at shit that hurt me or just get to that blissful realm where nothing existed?

I shook my head to rid myself of that thought. I wasn't here to think of ways to keep hindering myself. I'd traveled that road long enough, and it had gotten me nowhere. Seeing these people should have been helping me see that; knowing why I was here should have been helping me see that. It shouldn't be making me question the level of ways I could fuck myself up.

I took a deep breath to get my head together and finally placed my glasses in my purse. As my heels clicked across the exalted floor, I realized my head was nowhere near the shambles it was usually in when I visited this place. During one of my usual visits, the sight of those patients would make my skin crawl. I use to look at them with disgust because of what I felt they represented. Every time I would come here, it would be for one purpose, and that purpose would have my stomach in knots, my head pounding, and my knees shaking. Something about this visit, however, was putting me at ease as I marched up to the large reception desk.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Heart," Rachel greeted me with a paid for smile. "It's been a while, hasn't it?" she tried to joke. "We usually see you on a more regular basis than any of our other families. We were starting to get a little worried."

"Life got in the way," I said plainly as I grabbed the clipboard to sign myself in.

"Oh I know what you mean," she rattled on as if she actually had a clue. "There's a lot that people have to deal with in this day in age. You try to get it all done, but there comes a point where you have to stop and take care of yourself."

Her last four words felt like an arrow penetrating right to my heart, and I froze because of them. Not thirty minutes ago, I'd heard those same words directly from Gordon, and having him say that to me shook me. I believed that's what actually prompted me to finally return to this place. Gordon had never been afraid to tell me what he felt I needed to hear, but today the way he spoke to me was completely different. He put an unfamiliar feeling in the pit of my stomach, and after hearing Rachel recite what he'd said to me, it took me right back to that moment.

I rushed into Gordon's club, completely out of my mind with anger. It was well before the doors would be opened, but I knew he had to be here because if he wasn't home with Hayley or with Neila and Hayley, he was here. There were only a few workers here and there as I continued my charge up the stairs that lead to his office, and the closer I got to it, the more my rage built.

How could he just abandon me the way he did? I had done everything he'd asked me to do; I'd gone out of my way to protect the so called relationship he felt he had with Neila, but the moment I needed him—he left me. He decided he was done with me because I decided to drink after getting pissed off? Why would he fucking lie to me? Why would he build me up for failure and then leave when that's exactly what happens—and then I completely fall apart because of it?

This was his fault! How could he say he ever cared about me? All of that ran through my head as I burst into his office and found him sitting behind his desk with Mike and Jon also standing around.

"Gordon, you ain't shit!" I berated him. "You actually had the nerve to tell me you care about what happens to me, but the second I put you to the test, you tell me I'm nothing to you?" I questioned him, and he just watched me with a stone face. "Oh, so now your bitch ass can't talk? The fuck kind of man are you that you lie about shit like that? I never asked you to care about me. You decided that's what you wanted to do, but now you want to back out of that because you ain't shit!"

"Dani, I really think you need to calm down," Mike said as if he had permission to talk.

"Do not fucking speak, bitch," I told him. "I'm not concerned with you right—"

Before I could finish, Gordon gripped my throat with one hand and slammed me hard against the wall. "I'm not your fucking babysitter," he snarled at me. "You took my compassion as a weakness, so now I really don't care what happens to your ass. You really thought you could just fuck with my life to entertain yourself?" he asked with a crazed look in his eyes, but I couldn't answer him because I couldn't fucking breath.

"Gordon! Gordon, let her go!" Jon yelled and tried to pull Gordon off me.

"Don't even think about bringing your ass around me anymore, Danielle," he whispered before Jon finally got him off. Mike held me up for a while, and Gordon still fussed. "You don't even care about what happens to yourself. The fuck was I thinking getting involved with you?"

"Man, clam down," Jon tried again to control Gordon, but Gordon wouldn't move too far away from me.

I thought that was just fine and slapped the shit out of him. "If you put your hands on me, you better be ready for this damn fight!" Jon grabbed Gordon when he tried to come after me, and I took that advantage and punched him twice before Mike pulled me back. "You promised to be there for me!"

"I don't give a fuck! That was before I found out how lowdown you really were. You better learn how to take care of yourself because you don't mean shit else to me, Danielle," he said to me with so much contempt.

I couldn't even explain how much it hurt to hear him say that to me. I'd allowed him to invade my mind and obviously my heart, yet he could so evilly throw me away like this. "Because of her? You'll really just write me off because of Neila?" I asked, and I couldn't believe how inferior I felt.

"Fuck her ass too," he fussed. "You proved she didn't love me; you knew I'd leave her, so why are you even bringing her up like she has anything to do with what I now feel for you?"

My heart dropped when he said that. I knew what I had done. I knew the doubt I'd put in his mind with the message I'd left him and the things I'd said to him in that parking lot. The moment I realized what I had done, I wanted to shoot myself. In those moments, I was just so upset, and he was the only person I could take my anger out on. It was like in such a short time I fell into a cycle: I'd get upset and feel I had to hurt him for not protecting me like I felt he was supposed to.

I hated what I'd done, but I couldn't take it back. I wanted to believe I shouldn't even care about hurting him because he clearly didn't care about me anymore. A few times I tried to tell him he would just have to find a way to get over it, but as I watched him there, I broke.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as a tear slipped down my face. "Gordon, I didn't mean for this to hap—"

"Shut that shit up! You meant for all of this to happen. It just doesn't make you feel as good as you thought it would," he fussed. "Now that you've done what you needed to, you can leave."

"Gordon?" I pleaded with him. "I'm sorry, alright? I'm trying to do better. It's just harder than—I need help—"

"Danielle, leave," he said as if he was exhausted. "I don't care anymore. I'm still trying to figure out me and Neila. I don't have time for you. It's like I already told you, you have to take care of yourself."

"Ms. Heart?" I heard Rachel call me, and I blinked a few times to completely bring myself back to reality. "Ms. Heart?" she called me again and patted my hand. I snatched away from her touch, and she quickly recoiled her own hand. "I apologize. You uhh . . . You went off there for a second," she chuckled uneasily. "I guess you were thinking about something important."

I took a deep breath and finished signing my name. "I won't be long today," I told her as I began to walk off.

"She's out visiting the Thomas Garden, and there's no rush. Take your time," she said, still with a nervous tone.

"Like I said," I spoke to her over my shoulder. "I won't be long."

This facility was a nice size building, so it took me just a bit to make it to the garden. Sure enough, my mother was sitting on one of the green decorative benches under a large white arch. For about a minute, I just watched her. She still looked the same: frail, surly, and bitter. Time and the best facility, doctors, and nurses money could buy had done nothing for her.

I took one last breath before I walked over to her, sitting down without so much as a hug or form of salutation. I wouldn't even put my eyes on her, and for probably five minutes, she stared at nothing and I watched the air.

"And just where the fuck have you been?" she finally asked me, but I said nothing. "How long are you going to keep me in this bitch?" Her tone grew harsher, but I still gave her no response or eye contact.

What I exactly wanted to say to her was still formulating in my head, and I wasn't too sure how I wanted it all to come out. Did I want to cuss this bitch out and finally put her in her place? Maybe I should find my inner Neila and see what big words I could make her ass feel inferior with? Hell I should tell her, _"_ _You have been an abhorrent progenitor who has done nothing more than engender the noxious and unnecessary travail of your children_ _."_

The bench creaked as she turned her body to face me, and I could feel her eyes burning the side of my face, and the pure hatred emitted from her pores. "Bitch, I'm still your mother."

I almost wanted to laugh as she said that, and the way she said it, as if she was saying something important, added to the hilarity.

"You need to show me the respect I deserve and get me out of this mother fucker. Stop being such a stupid whore all of your life," she fussed, and I knew she was only trying to get a reaction. Once she realized she'd still get nothing from me, she laughed. "What the hell am I talking about? You don't know what respect is. You damn sure don't respect yourself." She laughed again. "So who did you suck to pay this month's payment?" She paused, I guess thinking she'd finally get an answer. "Bitch, why the fuck did you come? Sitting over there like a fucking mute. Why are you here? If you're not getting me out of here, why do you keep coming to see me?"

"Because every time I come here and see how pathetic you are, it helps me lie to myself about being better than you," I told her with as much control as I could muster.

I finally looked at her, and the years she'd wasted away in here were showing boldly on her worn face. She'd been in this place for the last five years after the state declared her incapable of taking care of herself, and thinking of how she ended up here was painfully embarrassing.

This sad excuse for a woman got upset after having another one of her "Johns" leave her, and she caused a scene at a grocery store and acted like a complete mad woman. The police picked her up quick, and the state finally decided to evaluate her and her parenting. I thought it was absolutely ridiculous how they decided to give her an excuse for her shit.

They diagnosed her with Undifferentiated Schizophrenia, meaning she could be categorized as a Schizophrenic, but she wasn't there yet. I always thought that was a crock. I was already twenty-two by the time the state decided to give a damn, so I took the girls in. That was until I bought them their own house because I got tired of the daily doses of Deklyne.

During that time, the state dumped my mother in some halfway house, and I took it upon myself to move her here. No one but me had ever been here to see her, and I wasn't even sure if that bothered her or not.

"You think you're better than me?" she questioned with a laughing smile.

"It doesn't matter what I think," I told her honestly. "What's important is what I know, and what I know is I'm not going to end up like you. You destroyed every relationship you've ever had because you're a weak idiot, and I'm doing too much of the same shit. I hide behind anger, alcohol, self-pity, and other people so I won't have to deal with my own self. I know that's how I'm going to destroy myself, just like you destroyed yourself."

"You gonna' lock yourself up in a loony bin too, bitch?"

"I'm not crazy and neither are you. The only reason you're here is because I know you can't make it on your own, and this place takes anyone with a fat enough wallet."

"So you let them drug me and do all kinds of shit when you know there's no reason to!" she hollered at me.

I smiled to myself as I remembered the times I dreaded hearing her yell at me, but now I could see how powerless she was to alter my mind or feelings. "Mama, it was your job to take care of us, and you did so how you saw fit. Now it's time for them to take care of you how they see fit."

"They're going to let me out of here," she said in a threatening tone.

"And where will you go?" I asked, still with my smile, and I saw her shrink a little in her seat. "Who will you have? Your other daughters want nothing to do with you. The only reason I've ever come to see you was to make sure that no matter the dumb shit I did, you were still in here being the same rotten bitch you've always been." I shook my head as I let a lot of my bad decision replay in my mind. "But what's so ridiculous about my situation is I actually have somebody trying to be there for me," I said then laughed after letting reality set in. "I had somebody, I should say. I let your bullshit sit in my head too long, and I pushed away the only man—shit, the only person that has ever tried to help me."

"So what the fuck is this, blame Mama because I'm a whore that's only worth a damn McDonald's meal?"

"Mama, I'm going to pray for the both of us because you really need to get better," I told her standing up, "and like I said, I be damn if I end up like you."

The walk back to my car seemed faster than my walk to see my mother, and I knew the reason for that. The second I relaxed in my car, however, Alexis popped into my head. I knew if she felt about me the way I felt about my mother, it would take a miracle to get her to forgive me. I couldn't let that stop me, though. While I was still running on this small adrenalin boost, I called Tavaris' home phone. At this moment, I didn't know who I preferred to answer the phone, but that was only a small concern.

"Hello?" I heard a hard voice answer, and just from that, I could tell I was the last person Tavaris wanted to hear from.

"I want to talk to Alexis," I said calmly.

"Hell no. After what you did and said to her? You must be out of your mind, Dani," he fussed.

I cautioned myself not to get into an argument with him and focused on getting my daughter to speak to me. "Tavaris, she needs to hear me apologize to her," I tried to explain to him.

"You really think the world works solely around your wants? Alexis hardly even eats and only wants to sleep the days away now, and you just want to continue this game of I'll call or stop by when it's convenient for me or cuss her out because I'm having a bad day."

"That's not what I'm doing." I felt tears in my throat as I tried to talk. Despite my neglect of her, I never wanted to hurt Alexis. I know how dumb that sounds, but I never wanted to be the kind of awful mother so many claimed I'd be by mimicking my mother, but in the end I was still a form of an awful mother. "I hurt her, and she needs to know how sorry I am."

"Even if I believed you, Alexis doesn't want to speak to you. I'm not going to put her through any more drama with you."

Part of me felt like giving up, but I knew that was the wrong thing to do. "I'm not going to leave things like this. I don't want her growing up hating me."

"Well, you need to grow up first."

I wanted to snap on him, but I had to take that. My reputation wasn't going to be an easy one to erase, but I had to do it despite the doubts or lack of help. "Just tell Alexis that I called for her. I want her to know I'm going to make things better, and I'm not going to push her for her forgiveness."

I knew Tavaris didn't believe a word I said, but I was more concerned that he'd keep me as far away from Alexis because he felt he had to keep her away from the pain that only circulated around me.

Sixty-Three : Deklyne

I stood outside my door listening to Neila cry in her room, and I couldn't hold in my laugh. It was just like I thought; Gordon had dumped her ass and now here she was being a sorry wreck. She hadn't been eating, talking—She hadn't been doing much of anything other than going to work and coming home to cry.

If I hadn't been so ecstatic about my plan, I'd feel total disgust for her. Everything was falling into place though. All I had to do now was wait another day or two and "randomly" bump into Gordon. I knew he was going to have an attitude, but I was ready for whatever he was going to dish out. More than likely he was going to try to take out his feelings about both Neila and Dani on me, but I knew what I was going to combat that with. Getting angry from the jump won't get me anywhere and neither will the waterworks. I had to work on being stunned and downright hurt. It probably wouldn't hurt to bring up the situation about me losing my child due to Maurice making me get an abortion. Perfect.

God, Dani was such an idiot. If she was going to throw the damn results away, she should have made sure not to do it at my house. I just laughed again as I went to look in my closet for the right outfit for my hook up with Gordon.

"Why did you call me over here?" Maurice asked while stretched out on my bed, and I forced myself not to show too much annoyance with his questioning.

I'd forgotten all about him. We'd just finish having sex, which wasn't as good as it usually was, we'd gotten dressed, ate a snack, and now here he was sulking. . . . Like always. Getting into an argument was the last thing I needed right now though, so I decided to just go along with his routine.

I slowly walked over to him before laying beside him, watching to gauge just how deep I had to pull into my feelings to satisfy him this time. "I missed you," I finally told him, between kisses on his neck. "I'm not use to going so long without seeing you."

I heard him let out a deep sigh, but I kept kissing. "You ain't miss me too much. You only called me because you have nothing else to do." He scoffed a little before mumbling, "probably nobody else to do."

"Okay, that's not even true." I stopped what I was doing and moved just slightly to watch him, and he just rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Why are you being so negative right now? Your energy is so low," I told him, running my hands under his shirt.

"What's up with Cris?" I moaned in frustration at his question, but I refused to answer him and nibbled on his neck more. "Or the dude you're in this bet with, where is he?"

"Maurice, neither one of them are important right now," I fussed, finally sitting up to look down at him.

"And suddenly I am?" he asked like I'd hurt him in some way.

I just shook my head regretting even thinking about calling him. I knew as soon as he got here, he was going to find something to fucking cry about. I knew this shit, so what was I thinking calling him? All he needed was sex, but he just had to make a big deal about everything. What a damn baby.

"Maurice, let's not fight about this, baby," I cooed in his ear.

"Deklyne, get off me," he told me with no emotion in his voice. I just laughed and went back to kissing him. "I'm serious. Get off me." Ignoring him was my best bet because I did not want to waste any energy on a pointless argument. When I tried to kiss his lips though he grabbed me and flipped me over him and to the floor. "Get the fuck off me!"

My goal after that was to slap the hell out of him, but he grabbed my hands and shoved me away. "So you're putting your hands on me now!" I yelled my question at him. "What kind of man does that?"

"I knew I shouldn't have come over here," he said more to himself while purposely not looking at me. "She does this to you every time, Maurice. It's just who she is," he fussed. "It's who she was bred to be."

His words caught my attention instantly, and at that moment something in the room changed. My eyes were so close to burning a hole in him as he stayed in his own world, and I was about ready to drag him out of it.

It's who I was _bred_ to be? What the fuck did he mean by that? I knew there was no way in hell he was saying—

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean!" I screamed at him and pushed his chest before I could give myself a chance to fully think about what he'd said.

He stared at me hard for a second before he gritted through his teeth, "You're a lunatic, and you ain't worth this. None of it! You never have been!" He rubbed his hands down his face, and I squinted at him as I felt heat rising in the room. "You will never be who I want you to be, and I finally understand that," he went on. "You're no one to put that much thought into."

I just watched him for a few more seconds trying to understand what he was doing. Did he actually think what he was saying was true? Was he seriously trying to tell me that I wasn't worth shit? I was a waste? I wasn't a person he should care about?

_I deserved to be cared about dammit_ _!_

His words sounded so familiar, and the hammer they carried with them knock everything out of me. I could feel myself becoming dizzy, and the longer I watched him the harder it was for me to breath. My head started to feel like a bubble, and he started to look more and more like a ghost.

"You think I'm worthless, you spineless piece of trash?" I fussed at him. "You're the one always begging me to be together!" I laughed hard and walked up to him, feeling as if he'd turned into some dark monster from the corners of my mind. "Don't you even dare pretend you forgot about all the crying and begging you did for the baby that wasn't even yours," I spat at him.

"You don't even know the meaning of decency." Disgust was everywhere in his voice while he was talking to me. "You're trash," he said as if he was trying to convince me of that, and I tried to hit him again and got pushed because of it.

"Stop talking about me like that," I practically cried out. I hadn't even realized my voice was leaving me until I spoke that time, but I couldn't bring myself to care. My mind already felt like it was detaching itself from me, causing me to already lose the battle with my emotions.

"Can't handle the truth? You just had to prove her right, huh?"

My whole body went cold, and there was nothing more that I wanted than see him laying in his own blood by my hands. How dare he say something like that to me, that weak bitch. He wanted to shake my nerves. It's what he does when he wants me under his thumb. He always talks about how I manipulate people, but that's his favorite and only game when it comes to me. The bastard.

"You . . . " my voice trembled again then cut itself off, not being able to finish my sentence. "You bastard."

"Why am I a bastard? because I don't care anymore?" He shrugged and his eyes were so hollow now. I didn't see anything in them. "You're nothing to care about," he whispered, probably knowing no matter how soft he said it, what was said was enough to cause my own mental earthquake.

I laughed hard again, and it was all I could do to stay up right. Why the hell was he saying these things to me? It was so like him to do something like this. He wanted me in this place. This was his game with me. But I wasn't going to let him win. Nope. Not going to happen, asshole.

He didn't care about me because I'm nothing to care about? Yeah right! I was his life. I was his whole fucking world! I meant everything to him. He was constantly telling me how much I meant to him—how much he loved me, and now he expects me to believe this? He was just mad and acting out—trying to get me to focus on only him again.

"You're a liar," I barely got my words out, walking to him only to have him nudge me away again.

It was like he didn't want me near him, but couldn't bring myself to say anything about that right now. My mind could only focus on what he was saying. I couldn't even force myself to respond in the way that I should have. I was on some type of autopilot fixated on only one point.

"You love me! You said it yourself," I blab feeling my emotional and mental state about break. I hated this so much. I hated when he took me to this place—always bringing her up. Usually he'd just piss me off, but now it felt as if my sanity was slipping away piece by piece.

"I told you if you ever lost my love you'd never get it back."

I just laughed at him. His words were stupid. They made no fucking sense. "You're too weak to leave me, Maurice. You can't walk away from me? You started this." I tried to push him one more time, but he knocked me on the floor.

His eyes were forcing me to believe what he was saying—that he didn't care, and all he was doing now was dragging me further off the cliff I felt I was already crashing down.

"I don't care!" I screamed at him, but I stayed on the ground and moved backwards to a corner. "I don't fucking care! Just get out already!" I didn't want him anywhere near me right now. He needed to get his shit together, and so did I. I just needed a minute o figure things out. Just one fucking minute to breath.

"You're pitiful," he whispered, looking down at me like I really was some useless trash.

More giggles came from me as I curled my legs to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. "I'm better than you, though. I'm better than all of you fucking assholes!"

"I must be the dumbest person I know. What the hell did I see in you?" he questioned and acted as if there was no logical answer to that question.

"What did you see in me?" I asked and unsteadily climbed to my feet, watching him like he was my prey. "What did you see in me, Maurice?" I asked again as I stumbled closer to him. He just watched me with a frown, but he didn't move away from me when I wrapped my arms around his neck. "You wanted to protect me," I said with a smile, but my speech was almost incoherent, and I had no idea why. "You wanted to protect me from everybody." I gripped his neck and tried to pull his mouth closer to mine. "But you couldn't, could you?" I dug my nails into his skin and finally kissed him, but he pulled my hands away from him.

He didn't stop the kiss, though. He just held my arms down and backed me up to the wall. This kiss was much different than his other kisses, too. Usually he was hungry for something, but this one barely had any passion on his part. He wasn't timid or resisting, he just had no feeling. I could actually feel him slipping away, and I moaned in protest and tried like hell to bring a spark to the kiss. That's when I felt him physically trying to pull away from me.

"Maurice, stop it," I cried, but he moved my hands away when I reached for him. "You can't leave," I fussed at him, but I couldn't move as he backed out of the room with a watchful eye on me.

Without another word, he left me standing there, and I couldn't get my brain to focus on much of anything. The only thing registering clearly in my head was Maurice was now dead to me. Harboring any other feelings about him was pointless. He wanted to walk out on me then good riddance. I just wish it was me who'd washed my hands of him first, the sappy, spineless imbecile.

At least now I didn't have to worry about hearing any more of his speeches on why my life was fucked up. I didn't have to hear him bringing her up anymore. That waste of fucking life! He had his nerve. I proved her right? That's what he thought? I'm worthless? Yeah okay. By the time I'm through with Gordon everybody is going to know my worth. I'm the Queen Bitch. I'm not the one letting dudes pay me with jewelry, clothes, and bill money just to sleep with me. I'm not the one sleeping with guys just to get a ride home. I'm not the one so scared of men that people question my sexuality and ability to get a man.

Yeah, I'm worthless. Okay? Why? Because Cris and Maurice both bitched up and called it quits? Who gives a fuck? At least I'm not crying and falling apart. Look at Neila. Pathetic. And I'm sure Terri would be ten times worse. Matter of fact, I know she would, and that's exactly what I want to see right now: both of those bitches blubbering.

Let's see your worth. Who will either of you have? No one! No one because you aren't worth a damn thing.

I sprang away from the door, and it must have been destined because there was Terri kissing Brentin in her doorway. The sight was fucking disgusting, and I almost ran up to them to knock them away from each other. Terri ended up pushing him away though, and he laughed as she said something and closed her door. When he turned around, he finally saw me, and his expression went from laughing to stone. I didn't move and just watched him as he made his way down the steps. I gave one more look to Terri's door before I followed behind him. I was about to make quick work of their so called relationship.

Once we were both in the kitchen I sat at the island as he opened the refrigerator and pulled out the leftover jambalaya. He had gotten so comfortable in this house, and I didn't know how much I liked that. I watched him for a while longer as he reheated the pot and pulled down two plates. He was obviously trying to ignore me, but doing that gave away how much I'd affected his mind. Why was he trying so hard to prove he was ignoring me? I mean, he could have spoken to me, but something was forcing him to keep his words to himself. Too bad his thoughts were all focused on trying to ignore my stare.

"Did you get my pictures?" I asked him teasingly, and the short pause in his movements brought out my giggle. I was getting to him. I knew it. "I thought you might like them."

"I deleted them," he told me calmly, but so much emotion was in his eyes. He obviously wanted me.

"Didn't want little Terri to see them." I shrugged and gave an _'_ _Okay, I get it_ _'_ expression. "I understand, but don't worry. I'll send you more."

"No you won't," he told me sternly before stirring the food.

I got up from my seat and went to stand beside him, and I almost laughed at the tension I could feel him building up all on his own. "Don't get upset, Brentin." I rubbed his back, and he dropped the spoon to turn and move me away from him.

"I already told you not to bring your shit to me," he said with that scary monotone of his. I promise, sometimes he reminded me of a fucking serial killer. "There's no reason for you to touch me like that."

"Like what? It was a fucking pat on the back—"

"No it wasn't. Don't play stupid. You know exactly what you're doing, and so do I." I smiled at his nerve, but he wasn't done listening to himself. "Do you honestly think you have anything I want?" he asked me frowning and stepping closer to me. "Terri beats you at everything: intellect, personality, sex appeal, every-fucking-thing. You could never even get me to consider getting involved with you."

I ignored everything he'd just said. The anger that was in his eyes was so clear, and it was hilarious how emotional I could always make him. He really wanted me to believe what he was saying, but he was holding too much anger in. He was clearly fighting with himself over something, so I knew I just had to keep pushing and he'd cave.

"Bravo, Brentin. Bravo. The more of a challenge you are, the better it'll feel when you're in my bed."

"Get away from me," he said, and I heard the warning he had in his tone.

Still, I just laughed at it. "Brentin, calm down," I coaxed him. "Just relax. You don't have to get all hostile about things. I promise, I only bite if you ask me."

"You're incredible, you know that?" he asked me and went back to stirring his snack.

"Trust me," I said seductively and rubbed his shoulder again. "You're going to find out just how incredible I am."

He paused yet again, I'm sure because of the image of the two of us burning in his head. Then the way he turned to watch me was all the evidence I needed that I'd soon have him breaking Terri's little fragile heart. He gripped my hand again and backed me up to the counter before holding my waist and looking down at me with calming eyes and a soft smirk.

"You're blatantly trying to get me to sleep with you," he said before lowering his lips to my ear, and I giggled and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Is that what I'm doing?"

"You're trying very hard to get me in trouble."

"I'm trying to give us both what we really want. That's all, Brentin."

"You want to give me what I want?" he whispered to me, and I nodded and bit my lip. "Then stay the hell away from me," he rattle off slowly and with ice dripping from every word. "I don't want you." He slung my hands from around him then stared down at me like he felt he was better than me.

I was so angry, and I couldn't even move for a minute. That whole time he continued to watch me, and I wasn't about to let him be another one that walked away from me. "You can't—"

"The only thing you have to say to me is that you're going to stay away from me." He waited for me to speak, but I refused. "Say it."

"Fuck you," I spat at him, and he smirked.

"I can deal with your bitterness, but don't test me again. Don't touch me no more."

"Jackass, you're the one that was just now whispering in my ear and hugging on me."

"Please don't tell me you're stupid enough to believe that meant anything to me. Maybe I should have just pushed you off, but I didn't. Either way, you need to know that no matter what you do, I'm never going to get with you."

"Can you get the fuck out of my face?" I fussed. He was becoming so damn annoying. "How many times are you going to tell me this? I really think you're trying to convince yourself now."

The next thing I knew, Terri was yanking my hair and throwing me on the ground. As soon as I realized what had happened I charged her, but Brentin blocked her and nudged me back. Terri's bitch ass got bold then and reached around him to punch me in the face, and I really lost my cool. I tried to go after her, but Brentin grabbed me and sat me down in a chair and yell for me not to get up.

"Terri, you really need to find a middle ground!" he fussed at her. "You go from meek to fighting every other day," he went on.

"I told her not to put her hands on you! I told her!"

He sighed and watched her a second before he went to her. "You don't have to fight every time you get upset." His voice was calm again, and I could see him having an effect on Terri. She still glared at me though, and I did the same to her ass. "You need to learn how to control your emotions, Terri. If it's not important, don't let it get to you," he told her before kissing her gigantic forehead.

She wouldn't say anything, and when he noticed she wasn't ready to stop staring me down, he walked behind her to move her to the stove. He stood behind her as he fixed both of their plates then he walked her over to the stools at the island and helped her pathetic ass sit on the stool. Then he fix their drinks, just making me sick waiting on her hand and foot, like she was a fucking baby.

"The both of you are disgusting," I barked at them.

"You just—" Terri started, but Brentin cut her off by kissing her.

"No. Let the bitch talk!" I screamed, but Brentin kept whispering to her, acting like he didn't hear me. I felt my veins turn to fire just staring at the back of his head, and my breathing started to get harder. "You hear me fucking talking, Terri!" I stood up, but I couldn't move just yet. Brentin still kept her distracted, and how they laughed with each other in my face started to make my head spin. I went charging over to them only stopping when I was right beside them. "You can't ignore me, bitch!"

"I can't believe you've never been," Brentin said to her with a smile, like I wasn't even fucking standing there. "I'm going to take you on Sunday."

"You just wait, Terri." I tried to reach for her, but Brentin stood up and blocked me. I tried to reach around him, but he wrapped Terri in a tight hug and kissed her cheek while she squealed and laughed. "I'll ruin your entire life!" I screamed, walking behind them as they walked to the counter that had a red velvet cake sitting in the cake stand. "Trust me, I know exactly how to do that! I've already had practice. All it takes is some crafty fucking thinking and bam: you're laying in bed crying because your heart is broken!"

He said something else in her ear, and she laughed again. Hearing her laugh made me feel like someone was ripping off my skin, and having the both of them pretend like I wasn't even standing there burned my entire soul. I just watched them for a minute. He kissed her on her shoulder as she giggled while cutting a piece of cake. She smiled like she actually knew what it meant to be happy. She was acting like some dumb bitch too stupid to realize no one really gave a damn about trying to make you happy. She was a moron, but she was going to learn. I was going to make sure of it.

Sixty-Four : Dani

I pulled into Gordon's driveway, and I saw two cars parked. Initially, I wanted to just leave, but I knew I had to go through with this. I wanted to make amends to the people I'd hurt, and I knew I'd skipped a few steps, but this step was so important to me. Regardless of the hurdles or what some speaker felt I should have done first, I felt I needed to do this. I needed to make it up to both Alexis and Gordon. Unfortunately, I hadn't gotten far with Alexis because she still refused to talk to me. I'd been calling her every day for the past week but got nowhere. I had no plans to give up though, but I felt I should try working things out with Gordon while I gave Alexis time.

I cut my engine off, and before I could second guess myself, I was ringing his bell. In very little time, a woman answered the door. Once her eyes landed on me, I could feel the venom spiting from her. Her eyes looked hard and ready for war, and I got the feeling she felt she needed to protect something. I wanted to bring my own fangs out because of the way she was watching me, but I kept my cool. I wasn't going to let her fuck up my head. Regardless of who she was and why she was here, I needed to see Gordon.

Despite the immediate dislike I had for her though, I had to admit, the bitch knew how to dress.

"Could you get Gordon for me, please?" I asked her, keeping my attitude in check as she continued to give me a once over.

"And who the hell are you?"

"You don't need to know that information, now do you?" My eyebrow rose a bit as she crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm not here to be involved with any drama," I politely informed her. "I'm pretty sure you care about who I am just as much as I care about who you are. Now go get Gordon so neither one of us have to deal with the other."

"Bitch, who the fuck do you think you are? You will get fucked up today. Believe that shit," she fussed, but I cared nothing for her hot air.

I merely pushed around her, but she grabbed me before I was fully in the living room. I yanked my arm away from her, and she walked toward me, pushing her body on mine.

"Bitch, back the hell up!" I yelled and pushed her on the chair. I knew she would come up swinging, and only because I didn't want Gordon to catch me fighting in his house, I put distance between us.

"Why you running, ho?"

"Hey!" Gordon yelled as he jogged down the steps, and I shook my head, hating that my chances had been shot to hell even before I spoke to him. "What are y'all doing?"

"So we're trying to figure this out, and you have yet another bitch over here starting shit?" that waste of life screeched like some banshee.

"Val, calm down. Alright?" he spoke tiredly. "I'm not having any more arguments with you."

"So how many more do you have running around?" she blabbed, but she was too irrelevant now.

"Gordon, can we talk?" I asked him, walking in front of him.

He sucked his teeth and purposely kept his eyes off of me. I could still read them, though; they look more than pained. It was like I could read the betrayal he felt. It ate away at me that his eyes use to hypnotize me, and now they seemed so cloudy with anger and pain that they were almost unrecognizable.

"We don't have anything to talk about," he said, breaking me from my trance.

"I know I hurt you, and I'm trying to make amends for that," I told him, holding onto the things Joshua had briefly spoke about in the last meeting. "One of the most important steps I have to take is making amends, and I have to make things right between us. I caused so much—"

"I get you're trying to move forward, and that's good for you. You don't have shit you need to say to me, though. You really think an apology or an explanation is going to change the situation that much?"

"So what is this?" Val interrupted our conversation. "She obviously did something to piss you off, but you're about to let her worm her way back in your life and Hayley's? You really need to find some better bitches, Gordon."

"Why are still here?" Gordon fussed at her.

"Answer my question first?" she demanded, placing her hand on her hip. "Who the fuck is this bitch?"

I grabbed Gordon's arm when he tried to walk away just to bring his focus back to our conversation, but he snatched away from me. "I don't have to do shit!" He stood glaring in her face, and she just smirked at him.

"Nigga, you've always been weak," she mocked him. "First sign of a tear, and here you come to fix the world. Then you want sympathy because your weak ass let bitches use you. How pathetic can you be?" she fussed. "Your dumb ass just won't learn. The only reason women keep playing you is because you're stupid. You're no one's knight in shining armor."

"Bitch, I've had about enough of you!" I spazzed out on her and tried to attack her, but Gordon held me back. "Don't talk about him like that!"

"Okay, number one: Who the hell are you! You're just one of many. Let me let you know, ho."

"Val, stop talking," Gordon snapped at her.

"No! She's coming at me, and you're protecting and defending her?"

"You need one good ass whooping, and I'm damn sure about to give it to you," I said trying to get away from Gordon.

He just pulled me back to him and shook me a little. "Dani, stop it! If you want to act like you have no sense, just leave."

"Oh hell no!" Val blurted out. "Dani? What you getting it in with women with the same name so you won't get caught up on a wrong name slip? What the hell is going on?"

"Val, for real?" Gordon fussed in complete annoyance. "How about you just get out. I'm tired of your dramatics."

"And leave my child with you and a horde of your whores? I think not. One bitch gets a DNA test done, one bitch calls her a tar baby, the next bitch drops off the results to my hotel and dips out so I don't beat her ass again, and then here comes this bitch—Double Dose Dani. You have a thing with women with that name or something? What kind of game are you playing, Gordon?" she teased and laughed.

"DNA test?" I asked, looking at Gordon, but he just glared at me.

So much was starting to make sense now. Gordon wasn't upset with me because of my rants or messages; he was upset because Deklyne's sorry behind went ahead with her plan. I watched him for a second, and he looked so beaten down. I didn't know what to say at first because I didn't know how far Deklyne had gone with her lie.

"Gordon, will you talk to me?" I tried to give him the option, but I wasn't taking 'No' for an answer. He wouldn't answer though, but I got the feeling that he wanted some type of explanation from me. He just didn't want to admit that. He wanted to act like he didn't care, but he did. That fact was all over his face.

"I want to know if you're the Dani who called me and dropped the results off," Val spoke to me, but I ignored her.

"Gordon, say something?" I pleaded, but he kept silent with a deep frown etched in his features.

"You heard me talking to you!" Val screamed and clapped her hands at me.

I lost my cool and went to stand in that bitch's face. I took a calming breath and clenched my fist, but I managed to keep my hands by my side. She eyed me for a while as I stood in her face, but she damn sure stopped barking like she was some bad ass. I licked my lips and smirked at the anger trying to take over me.

"I'm," I started slowly, "the only Dani there is, but I don't know what you're talking about because I've never called you."

She gave a fake chuckle and walked closer to me. "I met Dani Number One already, and I beat her ass already," she stated as if that was supposed to mean something to me. "You are not the only Dani. You're Dani Number Two."

I shook my head at her stupidity, and went back to Gordon—who'd finally sat on the couch. Where to begin was still a mystery to me, but I knew I had to try something. I figured it would have been best to just start things off from the beginning. I sat beside him and grabbed his hand, but he snatched it away from me. I let him have his little tantrum without any extra attitude from me, but I did hesitate before I finally spoke.

"I understand why you're so upset. It was stupid how all of this started out, and this whole thing with me and my sisters just went somewhere that it shouldn't have. I had no idea—"

"And where was it supposed to go? It was supposed to take Deklyne's ass to Milan? The whole time I'm thinking you're somebody I should care about, you're just keeping me around as a pawn in your game? You running around telling people I'm a fucking joke to you?"

He stared me down, and I found it hard to answer any of his questions. I was getting so frustrated with all of this, and I'd already told myself this was going to be hard. Having to fight through lies on top of the bullshit I'd already done was just messing everything up, though.

"What all did she tell you?" I finally asked. Deklyne had fed him lies, obviously, and I had this nagging feeling that she'd altered what truth she did admit to so it would favor her. I needed to know all of that if I was going to clear anything up.

"She told me what you told her," he fussed, and I shook my head in confusion.

"What are you talking about? I never told her anything."

He laughed to himself, but it was from irritation. "You told Val not to tell me it was you that fessed up to the shit, but she told me where she got her information. You."

I frowned and squinted my eyes, pissed that Deklyne had managed to blame this shit on me. So she went from blaming Neila to blaming me? This bitch was really about to have her ass handed to her the next time I saw her.

"I never spoke to Val, Gordon," I finally told him with controlled rage evident in my voice.

He just shook his head a little and shrugged. "Why did you do it though, because I took you to an AA meeting you didn't want to go to? You did it because I told you I wasn't going to force you to do anything else? Out of all the time you had to tell me this, why would you tell me now that this was all a bet and Neila got a DNA test done on Hayley?"

I frowned, completely livid with Deklyne. "I didn't say that shit," I argued, but he just shook his head. I took a second to think then jumped up because sitting was making me antsy. "Neila didn't get that test, Gordon. I didn't run my mouth to anybody, and if I would have done that, I damn sure wouldn't have told her not to tell I'd said it. You should know me better than that."

"So you have some evil twin?" Val asked with all the attitude in the world. "Because Dani stepped to me and got handled then Dani called me and left me some bullshit at my hotel."

"Use your commonsense," I bitched at her. I did not feel like arguing with her over nothing, but I wasn't able to control my temper anymore. "I'm Dani. I'm telling you I'm Dani. He's telling you I'm Dani. Why the fuck would I stand here in your face admitting who I was if I'd done that? Was it my ass that you beat?" I asked her, damn near screaming in her face. I wasn't really going in on her; I was just fed up with her slowness. "No. Who you met was some weak bitch pretending to be me, and who's also two days from her own funeral."

"Take your attitude down, little girl," she stupidly tried to threaten me.

"Get yours together, sweetheart," I shot back.

"Both of y'all, need to be quiet!"

I just laughed and bit the inside of my jaw, trying to keep myself from beating this bitch's ass since I couldn't have Deklyne at the moment. I had to shake my head at myself, though. I'd kept telling myself I'd thrown those damn results away, but no matter how I tried to explain things I knew this was still my fault. I shouldn't have even told Deklyne that I'd found what she'd done. Then she would have been waiting for a disaster that would have never happened.

"Deklyne did all of this shit, Gordon. She got a bogus DNA test, not Neila. She ran her mouth about it, not me."

"Everybody keep trying to throw blame on somebody else, but I blame all of y'all. Everybody knew what was going on. This all started because of all of you."

"I tried to stop her, though," I said, going to sit beside him again. I didn't know what he wanted me to say.

The fact was I tried to make him just another body in my bed, and he was upset by that. He was also probably believing some bull, started by Deklyne no doubt, about me saying I thought he was a joke and didn't care about him. The only thing I could do was apologize and hope he got over it.

"Look, I'm sorry for my part in all of this. I didn't care at first. I didn't know how to care, but you can look at me now and see how much I care about you."

"Whoop-tee-doo, bitch," Val said, and we both ignored her.

"Gordon, that's all that should matter. You know I wouldn't be taking the steps I have if it wasn't for you. We're good together, and you know that."

"Why do you and Neila both think just because you found somebody you want to hold onto, that makes everything okay?"

"I'm not saying it makes it okay. I know you still need to be pissed. Just in the meantime, I want you to know I feel like shit for how I treated you. I'm sorry for using you, but I want to thank you for being you throughout everything."

"Dani, please—"

"You can't stay mad forever, Gordon, and you don't want to. You said it yourself, Neila and I both found something in you that we don't want to lose. You're in love with Neila. You help me keep my head on straight, and whatever you feel for me is strong enough that you're willing to hold my hand through it all. Deklyne is the only one walking around here miserable and wanting to make everyone just as miserable as she is. You can't let her."

"How do you even think you have the right to give me advice? You're the alcoholic," he said bitterly.

It cut deep when he said that, and I almost retaliated, but I just sighed and left him on his couch. If he didn't want to hear what I had to say, fuck it. I would never beg a man for his forgiveness. He was lucky I even came over here in the first place, but when I got to the door, I stopped.

"I'm just going to say this shit and leave it alone. You need to man the fuck up and get control of your emotions. You know damn well you don't want to lose Neila; you're just upset right now. When you calm down and she's gone, Captain Save Ho is going to want his woman back. Now you can either deal with the situation or sit there in your feelings and stay a bitch nigga," I said and yanked the door open. "Call me a fucking alcoholic when I'm trying to apologize to your bitch ass. Fuck you, Gordon!" I fussed then finally slammed the door.

I made it all the way in my car before I saw Gordon walking out his front door. I dropped my hand before starting my engine, and he lingered on his porch before walking over to my car. When he first got in, he kept his eyes forward and his mouth shut, and I just watched him. After about another minute or so, he let out a heavy sigh and shook his head.

"I'm not ready to talk to her yet," he confessed, and I wasn't sure how direct I needed to be. When I tried to be soft, he was an asshole. When I told him about himself, he came running to me to talk. "She always acts like what I'm feeling is irrelevant, and what happened—that's not some small shit," he fussed.

"So you want her to act sorrier? She's sorry, Gordon. You can't punish her for not acting the way you think she should act."

"Danielle, she messed up. I'm supposed to forgive her just because I love her? I'm just supposed to forgive her when she won't even try to make me feel better about what she did?" he asked angrily. "She won't even apologize."

"Because she didn't do anything," I stressed to him, and he was out of the car before I could react. I hopped out with him, and he stopped when I called his name.

"She lied," he fussed. "If she would have found out I bet my friends I could fuck her, what the hell you think she would think and feel?"

"Okay. I get how you feel. You want her to at least pretend to give a damn, but don't you think you should talk to her about it?"

"I told you I'm not ready to talk to her. Plus when I talk to her about anything that can't be explained away with logic, she acts like I'm overreacting and crying. I don't feel like explaining to her why she should apologize for the shit that she did do. She made me feel like an idiot. Even if she didn't mean to do it, why does that mean she shouldn't have to apologize for it?"

"Look, Gordon," I said tiredly, "I'm not real big on talking about shit either. I already reached my limit for all this sharing and caring." He shook his head, and I felt I had to try one last time to get him to understand. "From years of knowing her, I can tell you, she's never been one to dish out apologies without being forced. That doesn't mean she doesn't have regrets or she doesn't care."

He just watched me with a blank stare, and something told me he was too stubborn to rethink anything. I knew he had a good heart. I knew he was one of the good guys, which was why I was trying so hard to win his forgiveness.

"You know what?" I started, hoping I could sway his attention to a different subject. "You never took me to that wing place you fell so in love with."

He continued his staring for a few seconds then he shook his head and looked away from me. "That's because you're too boojie for that shit," he finally said, still with his attitude. He was trying to cover it up, though.

I climbed back in my car, and a few seconds later he was sitting in my passenger seat. The only words that were spoken for a while were his directions, my question of who he was texting, and him explaining he was telling Val where he was going. After about fifteen minutes of driving and stopping at a red light, I finally looked over to him.

"You called me an alcoholic, Gordon," I reminded him.

"You ain't in them meetings just because you like the style of the damn bottles," he said sarcastically.

"So that means your bitch ass can call me an alcoholic?" I snapped at him. He was treading lightly with me, but I got the feeling that he didn't give one ounce of a damn.

"You called me a bitch nigga and told me to get out my feelings. You apologizing for that shit?" he asked and stared at me. "You and your sister don't think apologies are needed, anyway."

The light finally changed, and I took a calming breath. "Like I said. Fuck you, Gordon."

I heard him take a deep breath, and I braced for his backlash. "And don't let her know I want to talk to her either," he ordered me.

"Oh so now you want to talk to her?"

"I never said I didn't. I said I wasn't ready." He scratched his chin and hesitated before continuing. "She don't want to apologize yet then she can wait for me to talk to her."

"You know you're playing with her head. This is your form of payback? Childish," I semi-teased him. "You better hope this doesn't blowup in your face. Either handle your business or continue to complain when she doesn't react the way you want her to."

"Whatever. You really need to stop talking to me like you know how to give advice." His tone was nowhere near his usual joking, but I was still able to hear the humor he put in it. "I still want her to say that shit."

"Well, she's probably not. So then what? And why is her apology so important? When I apologized to you, you cursed me out."

"Fuck your apology," he mumbled, and I punched him hard as hell in his stomach.

"You better call her, bitch nigga." He didn't say anything and only glared at me, but I knew he was going to call.

Sixty-Five : Dani

I slammed on the breaks and didn't even bother pulling into Neila's driveway, instead parking in the street and hopping out of my car. I'd purposely worn flats today because I was over here for one reason and one reason only. When I didn't see Deklyne's car in the driveway however, I felt a small hint of disappointment. I knew things were going to be delayed, but I rushed to the door anyway and barged in without even ringing the bell. Neila and Terri were both sitting on the couch, and once I slammed the door, their eyes shot to me.

I threw my purse on the chair, and unfortunately Neila had a few waterworks going on. "Stop that shit," I fussed at her. I knew first hand crying over a man wouldn't do anything but hurt her, and even though I'd been trying to work on not being a complete bitch to people, right now was not the time for me to turn over a new leaf. "When is that bitch coming home?" I asked, pacing and with my hands on my hips.

"Who?" Terri asked me, rubbing Neila's back. Neila just let out a hard breath as another tear fell.

I held my tongue, but I shook my head at her. "Deklyne's raggedy ass," I fussed. "What other bitch could I be talking about, sweetheart?"

"Dani, I'm really not in the mood for any more of your drama today," Neila said, sounding absolutely ridiculous. It just did something to my soul to see women crying over a man.

"And I'm really not in the mood for you to be turning into some weak bitch. When have you ever cried over a man, Neila? Fuck that. When have you ever cried, period?"

"Just get out, Dani!" she screamed at me, jumping to her feet and rushing to open the door. "This is all your fault, anyway! I don't even understand how you can show your face here after what you've done. First you get me involved in that stupid bet then you turn around and make up hideous lies. I knew that bet was trouble from the beginning, and had it not been for that, I wouldn't—"

"If it wasn't for that bet you still wouldn't remember how dick felt!" I yelled back at her. Heartbreak or not, I wasn't about to let her blame me for something she willingly played in to. Plus, I was right. Had it not been for that bet, she wouldn't have even given Gordon a second thought.

She slammed the door and came to stand in front of me. "This has been nothing but a game to you! People's lives have been completely turned upside down, and you run around telling lies about me all to win a childish game." She shoved me, causing me to stumble back a few steps. "How could you do that!" she yelled at me and pushed me again. "How could you!"

I promise Neila was not the one I was over here to put hands on, and I wanted to believe I could never bring myself to hit her. However, I wasn't about to let this situation get out of hand. I just hoped I could calm myself enough to keep this altercation to mere words rather than getting into a shoving match with her.

I shook my head, chuckled, rolled my neck, and kept my eyes off of her for a while, all in attempt to reserve my attacks for Deklyne.

"You have nothing to say for yourself?" she barked in my face again.

"Neila, let's get this clear, and let's get it clear very quickly. Deklyne," I emphasized, "did this." I waited for her to say something, but she just gave a quick squint, and I knew her mind was about to start working overtime trying to analyze things. "Every bit of it. She got that test done; I don't know how, but she did that. She was also the one who told Hayley's mother about it." I paused again to try and read her expression, but her face was blank as she inhaled deeply. "She pretended to be me, and said it was you who got the results."

A few more seconds ticked away before her face finally contorted as what I said began to sink in, and she took a few steps away from me. A few painful laughs came from her, and her eyes began to well up with tears.

"Don't even, Neila," I told her, no longer willing to see her fall apart over this. "This is not the time to cry about shit. What we need to focus on is when is this bitch stepping foot through that door. I'm tired of playing with her ass."

"Why . . . Why would she do this?" she asked with a tear slipping down her face.

"Because she's a demon bitch!" Terri fussed.

"Why would she—She couldn't have been trying to win that badly."

"This was never about that bet, Neila," I told her. "She did this out of spite."

"She knew how much I cared for Gordon, and she saw how much this hurt me," she said with anger rising in her voice. "She slept in my bed last night telling me she was going to be there for me—telling me how it wouldn't be long before Gordon was just some useless memory."

"She's manipulative. She does and says whatever she has to just to get her way, which just so happened to be you away from Gordon. She's always been this way," I told her with so much irritation. She should have known that.

"She was never like this. Sure, she was a handful and loved to get her way, but she's never been this mean spirited before. There's absolutely no reasoning behind this."

"She wasn't trying to be reasonable," I griped. "Honestly, how closely do you pay attention to people?" I quizzed her as Gordon's words of her "not caring" rang in my ears.

I couldn't help but frown at her for a few seconds. I didn't fully understand Gordon at the time, but now I was really starting to think Neila had issues dealing with anything that was deeply rooted. For example, she ignored our mother by becoming the overachiever. She ignores—or should I say ignored—men when they tried to become anything more than an acquaintance. She ignored all of Terri's reasons for trapping herself in a shell. She ignored my drinking because "it was my problem." She ignored Gordon wanting her to be more upfront about her feelings. Now she's standing here butt hurt and in shock because she ignored the evilness that Deklyne caused throughout her entire life.

"When will you open your eyes to the shit that happens right in front of your face?" I fussed at her.

"Deklyne is just . . . " she started, not seeming to pay much attention to me, "she's just—"

"Evil," Terri finished for her.

"Just as fucked up as the next one, but that doesn't excuse—" I tried to speak, but the two of them jabbered away.

"What would possess her to do something like this?" Neila asked, taking a few steps and attempting to eyeball everything all at once.

"I don't know, but—" I got cut off again, this time by Terri.

"She's a damn troll."

"Lie and say I got a DNA test done on Hayley? She was trying to get me out of the way? For what?"

"She just wanted to hurt you, Neila. That's what she does," Terri tried to convince her. "She just wanted to come between you and Gordon, just like she's trying to do with me and Brentin now."

"This is complete bullshit!" she yelled, taking a few more steps, and her eyes had yet to focus on any one thing.

"She should fucking die," Terri fussed again, and I looked at her like she was crazy.

"She needs her ass beat," I corrected her. "I'm the first one to say that, but you can't wish death on your sister, Terri."

"Who would miss her?" she asked as if that was the perfect solution.

"She seriously did this to hurt us?" Neila questioned, now resembling a mad woman herself. "She stirred all of this up solely to hurt us?" she asked with even more force. "What kind of heartless bitch does that to her own sisters?"

I took a second to look at both of them, and an eerie feeling began to grow in the pit of my stomach. As angry as I was with Deklyne, all I could feel was concern for her life the second she stepped in the room. I can admit, I was willing, able, and ready to let her have it the second I saw her. However, Neila had appeared to go off into deep end, and Terri was talking about killing this bitch. It was like I'd stepped into the twilight zone. Then right on cue, Deklyne walked in.

She walked in with her same arrogance she always had with her. Once the door closed behind her though, I knew she felt the chill in the room. Everyone was motionless, and I was almost positive that Deklyne had stopped breathing. Her eyes flashed concern, but she was quick at washing all emotion from her face. It was obvious she was slipping into her defenses, but I doubted the good they'd do her in the war she'd just started. She took one small step forward as she dropped her keys in her purse, and a slow smirk began to work its way to her face. I don't know what the fuck she found to smirk at because her ass was in for a world of hurt.

"Well ladies, what's the occasion? We haven't had a Day of Hearts in forever," she said with a giggle.

Time seemed to speed up the moment she opened her mouth. Before I had time to react, Neila was pulling her further in the house and yanking her to the floor by her hair. No words were even spoken before she went to pummeling a disoriented Deklyne. At that moment, I didn't know what to do. This definitely wasn't like Neila, but I was having a hard time actually wanting to save Deklyne from what I knew she deserved.

I knew if Neila was in her right mind she wouldn't be acting like this, and I knew she'd regret letting herself travel this road. She felt betrayed and was pissed off, though. She needed to release, and damn if she wasn't releasing all up and down Deklyne's ass. Deklyne couldn't even do anything other than try to block the hits coming to her face. After a vicious slap however, I thought Neila had made her point, so I went to pull her off.

"Okay, Neila," I tried to calm her.

"Are you completely out of your mind!" she screamed at Deklyne, who was just laughing on the ground.

She sat up and leaned on one hand as she rubbed her face a little. "You hit like a bitch, Neila," she taunted with another laugh. "I doubt you've even bruised this pretty little face." She finally stood up, fixing her hair and pretending to fix her make up then she blew a kiss at Neila and smiled. "Hope that made you feel better."

"Why would you lie like that to him! Why would you even get a test done, especially if you weren't going to take responsibility!" She fought to get out of my grasp, but I held her.

"Aww," Deklyne continued to laugh. "Look at little Neila. Are you mad because your boyfriend doesn't want you anymore?"

She broke out into another fit of laughter, but Terri interrupted her with her own barrage of punches. Deklyne flew back on the door but swung back as Terri met her blow for blow. I couldn't really tell who had the upper hand until Terri grabbed Deklyne's head and slammed it into the door. Deklyne stopped swinging momentarily and tried to wiggle out of her corner, but she had to grab Terri's forearms to keep herself from being finished off.

Terri wasn't giving up though, and started kicking. Deklyne dropped one arm and tried to punch Terri, but Terri grabbed Deklyne's hair and slung her to the ground then began dragging her. Deklyne tried to get up and pry Terri's hands off her hair, but she couldn't do anything but follow the path that Terri dragged her in. Every time she tried to get her footing, Terri pulled harder, causing her to slip and ride for a little while longer. Terri finally flipped Deklyne to her back, but she flipped herself back over. I assumed she knew better than to have her face exposed like that. When she tried to get up though, her head was met by Terri's knee. That's when Deklyne just gave up on trying to get her hair free and just tried to protect herself once one too many of Terri's hits started connecting rather hard.

"Terri!" I tried to get her attention, but she seemed to be in a violent trance. "Terri!" I screamed again, but I knew I would have to pull her off too. I let Neila go, but just as I got a good hold on Terri, Neila was back beating Deklyne's ass. "Shit!" I groaned, only slightly annoyed.

I still held Terri but pulled on Neila long enough to give Deklyne a good couple of seconds to crawl a few inches away. However, Terri wiggled away from me and almost got to Deklyne, but I grabbed her again. Finally, Deklyne was able to get up. Unfortunately, Neila was hot on her ass to keep her from making into the kitchen.

Every one of them was screaming and cursing, and I had no idea how far they were going to take this ass whooping they were both determined to give out. Even though I wanted to get a few licks myself, I suddenly found it disturbing to want to beat the dog shit out of my own sister. I surprised myself with thinking that way, but that was where my head found itself.

Deklyne's nose had been busted, and her mouth was filled with blood now too. I didn't know who caused what, but I saw when Terri cracked opened the cut on Deklyne's left eyebrow. That happened when Deklyne first decided this wasn't a fight she wanted after receiving that hard ass knee to the face. Since then, new wounds were popping up left and right. I was more than sure she'd had enough, and tried to pull Neila away again. Deklyne didn't hesitate with her escape this time, but she only got halfway up the steps before Terri was on her. I just shook my head, and finally decided to let their asses have her. I wasn't about to tire myself out trying to stop something I'd come over here to carry out in the first place.

Neila took off the second I let her go, but she shot past the two scrappers. The next thing I heard was shit breaking and flying around upstairs. Terri and Deklyne were going back and forth, and Deklyne was finally throwing a few good hits. I still remained in my spot until I saw Deklyne's hands go around Terri's neck. I was there in seconds prying Deklyne away, and just when I did, Neila threw a duffle bag pass my damn head.

"Get out of my fucking house, Deklyne!" she screamed from the top of the stairs.

"This is my house too, bitch! I'm not leaving. You get the fuck out," she shot back before Terri pushed her out of my hands, and the both of us almost fell down the rest of the steps.

"You're leaving, if I have to drag you out myself," Neila told her and proceeded to do just that.

Deklyne of course tried to resist, but fending off Terri and Neila at the same time was clearly too much. Just when she thought she could dodge one flurry of fists, another set or a few kicks came from a different side, and this all happened while she was once again being dragged.

"Don't you dare come back to this house," Neila carefully explained to her after tossing her out, along with the bag.

Terri picked up Deklyne's purse, that had half of its contents spilled on the floor, and she pulled a key off a key chain before throwing everything else out the door. "Now you can live in your car, bitch. That same car you always hated to give me rides in," she said before closing the door.

Deklyne beat on it for a few minutes, screaming things at them. Neila just ran up to her room, and Terri sat back on the couch as if nothing had even happened. I didn't know how to feel about this situation. I felt some part of me should have been hurt that this was the state me and my sisters had reached, but another part of me wanted to see things how "Unfeeling Neila" would have seen things: This was just a situation we'd have to get over and not think about.

"Okay, just so I don't find myself at someone's bar, I'm going to leave right now," I told Terri, but I doubted if she even cared what I did.

She looked so pleased with herself, and the old me wanted to be proud of her because I thought she handled Deklyne rather well. I was supposed to be getting my shit together, however. I wasn't supposed to be partying, sexing, or fighting—and I shouldn't have been condoning those things either. Those were my pitfalls, and they all usually led me to drinking.

I know it was too little too late for me to be saying this now, when I basically caused this. I could have tried to talk things out, but this situation needed more than words, dammit. It was just this damn rehabilitation—making me question what was right, wrong, necessary, and over the top.

When I finally pulled the door opened, I saw Deklyne shoving her bag in her backseat. Pain was obviously working its way through her body; it looked as if she couldn't even move her right arm much. That could have been from Terri stomping the hell out of her stomach or Neila beating that arm as it covered the intended target. I could hear her cursing up a storm, and I knew she wanted to pretend she came out fine, but she was tore the hell up. Her face was still leaking; her hair was a disgrace; her clothes were trashed; and I'd just noticed one of her shoes was missing. I just shook my head and made my way to my car. True to form, she wasn't about to let me make it in peace.

"So you weak bitches all gang up on me because you're too weak to come at me one on one."

"Look," I tried to warn her, "I've kept myself together as long as I possibly could. Now you made it out of the house well off enough. Leave it at that, sweetheart." I continued to my car, and she ran up beside me and shoved me. Thanks to my impeccable reflexes, I skipped over the stone garden Neila had in her yard.

"Fuck all of you!" she screamed at me, and I said a silent prayer that I could keep my senses. "You think this is going to break me? I'm laughing at all of you pathetic bitches. You all cry over men who don't even want you. As soon as they find out who you really are, they leave," she spoke as if she was giving some great insight.

I kept my eyes off of her and bit my lip, and I knew I was waiting for her to push me too far. I actually wanted her to. I could have made it to my car and left her there if I wanted to, but I stayed put.

"There's this new thing called _'_ _getting your shit together_ _.'_ How about you try it?" I suggested and looked right at her, and that's when she spit on my arm.

Blood and spit both landed on me, and that was all I needed. I dropped her with one punch, and her sorry ass tried to crawl away. She received a kick right to her ribcage before she could get far just for that. She knew what was coming, and I stood over her as she wheezed for air.

After a few breaths she started crawling back to her car, and I just followed her. I wasn't going to hit her anymore while she was down because I wanted her standing for her beating. As soon as she used her trunk to pull herself up, I punched her again, gripped her neck and slammed her back on the trunk, then I went to work on her face. I let her know in very clear English never to let her spit touch my skin again, and I pronounced each word with a hit. She swung her hands wildly and scratched at my face and hands before trying to pry away the one around her neck.

"Disgusting ass bitch!" I yelled at her as I let her slip to the floor before I walked to her back door. I ripped open her duffle and pulled out one of her shirts to wipe off her residue, and I felt my stomach lurching. Just looking at that made me want to knock her the hell out. "Don't you ever in your life spit on me again!"

Before I could get completely out of her car, she pushed me on the seat and started hitting me in my back. She only gave a few hits before rushing out of the car. I pulled myself out, and despite her ready stance, I calmly walked to my purse and snatched out my blade. As soon as I turned back to her, she sidestepped to her car and damn near did a ninja dive inside before slamming the door behind her. As I was running to meet her, I heard the locks slide close, so I knew there was no point in trying to get at her any further. I just glared at her one more time before looking at my arm and cursing her again.

I finally went back to my car, pissed that I couldn't cut that bitch. If recovery meant I couldn't cut a bitch for spitting on me then fuck every bit of that because that bitch was getting sliced the next time I saw her. That's a damn promise.

Sixty-Six : Neila

I watched the water as I looked over the hotel room's balcony. The waters weren't raging, but they did slap against the shore, and the scenery was so beautiful. The water was a crisp aqua color, and the sand wasn't the whitest, but it was breath taking nonetheless. Beach umbrellas were propped everywhere. Blankets, buckets, coolers, and sandcastles all helped bring the atmosphere to life.

All around people were enjoying the beach to its fullest potential. Some people ran out to meet the waves, children were screaming and playing, families were laughing, and couples were kissing, walking together, and cuddling next to each other in the sand. That was the sight that hurt me the most, however. I preferred not to see anything like that.

"I got you breakfast," Luke said wrapping his arms around me and kissing my cheek. I'd long given up trying to keep his hands off of me. I just didn't have the fight left in me. "I also got some clothes for you, like I said I would," he told me after I refused to respond to him. For another lengthy paused, we stood on the balcony, and then he kissed my shoulder. "Come inside and eat, Neila. You didn't eat anything at all yesterday, so you really need to eat today."

"Luke, why did you bring me here?"

He hesitated then sighed before turning me to face him. "Because you needed this."

I groaned and finally pushed him away from me and entered into the room. "Please don't presume you know what I need because you don't," I fussed, feeling his pushiness strike a nerve in me that I'm sure was about to bring that scary rage out of me again.

Just thinking about the way I behaved last week with Deklyne really shook me. God knows it may honestly take an era for me to forgive her for all the anguish she's caused; be that as it may, my actions were beyond all rationality. I became too emotional, and I reacted in the manner of a disturbed animal. I actually cursed her. Not only that, I took things further and physically attacked her. Even now as I try to logically think about things, all I want to do is track her down and seek more penance from her. I was losing myself with each day that passed.

"Fine, I don't know," Luke grumbled and brought me back to reality, "but I thought it would be good for you."

"To sleep in a hotel room with a married man?"

"I'm not married," he tried to make extremely clear, "and we slept in separate beds."

"Why couldn't I sleep in my own bed?" I challenged him.

He just scoffed and went to fix himself a plate of the room service he'd ordered. "Neila, you didn't have to come, so you should ask yourself that question."

I just shook my head and flopped on one of the beds. Why did I come? What did he or I hope to accomplish by me running off with him? True, I had been so consumed with my despair that I still had trouble focusing on my work. I could admit that every time Luke stopped by my office I was an obvious wreck. I won't deny that I've been neglecting my body's necessities, but I still couldn't understand how he felt I "needed" to find myself in a city two hours away from my home and also in a hotel room with him. Why was this even something I considered?

I pulled my hair out of the messy ponytail I'd had it in and sighed because I'd let my emotions cloud logic. I decided to let Luke bring me here because I got so dependent on him being my distraction throughout the day. With him constantly coming to my office, he kept my mind worried about when his next visit would be rather than what had my mind in shambles.

By the end of the day, I felt I had to be near him just to keep my head on straight. I didn't outright tell him I wanted to be near him, but I was sure he picked up on the subliminal. He told me he knew what would take my mind off of things. He said he would take me somewhere to clear my head and help me relax, so I could come back feeling refreshed. Unfortunately, he proved only to be a liar.

"How is this supposed to be helping me?" I asked him and noticed he was sitting at the small table and eating already.

"Would you like to eat?" he asked me in return and ignored my question.

I said nothing at first, but I did make my way over to the plate he'd fixed for me. For our entire meal, neither one of us spoke a word, but I did catch his eyes on me quite often. Once we were done eating, he pushed the cart outside then decided to lay next to me and turn on the television.

"Do you mind?" I asked with clear irritation.

"I don't want to sit in silence anymore," he responded without a glance towards me. "Is there something else you want to do?"

"Sit in silence," I grouched and purposely moved further away from him.

He sighed then flipped the television off. "Get dressed," he ordered me.

"I beg your pardon?" I didn't bother to move, so he couldn't see my expression. However, I'm sure he understood my tone.

"It's a beautiful day, and we don't need to waste it in this room." I said nothing to him, so he picked me up and carried me to the bathroom. "I'll be ready once you get out." He started to close me inside, but poked his head back in. "Please don't take too long? I really want you to enjoy your time here."

I just slammed the door in his face and threw my back on it. How could he expect me to enjoy my time here when Gordon had been the only thing on my mind? No matter how hard I tried to put everything in order, my life just felt so chaotic. I had no idea what else Gordon thought I could or should do, and quite frankly, I was getting tired of feeling like I was begging him. I was trying to be understanding of his feelings, but I still had to think about myself. What good was I too myself if I just shut down over a man, who clearly wanted to push me out of his life? It had been weeks since we'd last talked, and it was killing me.

I finally lifted myself from the door and prepared a shower for myself. I knew I still wouldn't be in any mood to go gallivanting around with Luke, but I had to get myself together enough to finally face my own room and be alone with my thoughts. The shower helped soothe me enough to believe I could do that, and by the time I was out and dressed, Luke had a huge grin on his face. God, did I hate his smile. I tried my best to ignore him and started gathering my things, but he held my waist to stop me.

"You don't need to bring anything but yourself, honey."

I moved his hands and went back to collecting my things. "I'm not your _'_ _honey_ _,'_ Luke."

He didn't respond to me immediately, and I could have sworn his mood got a little colder in those few seconds. "It's just a term, Neila. I didn't mean to offend you." I said nothing to him and continued with my business. "Look," he chucked, "let's just go out and have a good time. How about that?"

"I really think we should checkout now."

"What?" he asked with an incredulous smile on. "No. Why?"

"Because—"

"We just got here," he laughed to himself.

"Being out on the beach is not going to help me move past what's going on. I need to go home and deal with things there. I'm not doing anything here but failing at ignoring my situation," I tried to explain.

He held his tongue for a while then he finally sighed. "Well, if that's what you want," he said and began gathering his things as well.

I made sure the process of checking out went by swiftly, and I was purposely quiet for the entire ride back to my house. I'd mentioned that I would have preferred for him to return me to my car—which was at the office. However, he thought it was best if he personally made sure I got home safely. He'd even gone so far as to walk me up to my room, carrying the things he'd bought for me.

"Luke, all of this is really unnecessary," I told him, grabbing the bags from him and setting them down.

"Neila, I just want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm not going to be okay with this!" I screamed at him. "No matter what you do, I'm not! Gordon hates me because of a pointless issue, and nothing you do is going to make me feel better."

"I get it," he fussed back. "I get it, okay. You're feeling hurt and abandon, and you're feeling like you don't matter to him anymore. I don't think you're going to get over it in a matter of hours or days. I just want you to know that this isn't the end of the world."

"Really, Luke? I'm acting as if this is the end of the world? How do you propose I act, like none of this matters to me? If I'm not acting the way you believe is how I should act, why don't you just leave? That way you won't have to be witness to such a pathetic display," I fussed. He had angered me so fast, and I was completely beside myself. He had no reason to still be in my face, yet he thought he had some right to tell me how I should handle the affairs in my life.

He watched me for a few seconds before letting out low breath. "I apologize. I'm not trying to upset you." He scratched his chin and looked away, only for a second. "Neila, I just want you to be happy," he said softly and looking at me with soothing eyes.

Hearing him say that almost broke me. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to be happy with Gordon, but with each passing day, he was proving he didn't want that with me. I inhaled deeply as the pain that very thought carried with it almost ripped out my heart.

"I can't—" I tried to speak, but a small sob cut me off.

"I can make you happy, Neila," he told me with so much confidence. "You deserve that and so much more." He took slow steps over to me, and his words danced around in my head. "You deserve someone who'll always put you first, never hurt you, and love you through everything. Let me be that person for you?" he asked me, and I was so tempted to give into him.

He pulled me closer to him, and I just wanted to feel those old feelings again. I wanted to go back to laughing for no reason at all and smiling just from a thought. However, I pushed away from him. He moved with me though and grabbed me again.

"Will you please—"

"Neila, I've never felt this way about anyone before you, and I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure you never question how special you are to me." He held my waist and began stroking a finger down my face, and when I tried to push that hand away, he gripped my fingertips between his middle finger and thumb before hooking my chin with his pointer.

"I'm not—" I semi whispered, due to falling into the moment and wanting to forget about the hurt that was plaguing me. "Luke, we can't—"

He cut me off with a soft kiss at first then he watched me a second to see how I would react. I just stood watching him a short while before pulling his lips closer to mine. When our lips met again, a feeling of tainted relief washed over me. I knew I shouldn't be allowing this to happen, and I knew I shouldn't be welcoming it, but something about it felt needed. There was no carnal lust or impassioned want I felt; there was just a raw need.

He eased both of his hands to my waist, and I stepped closer to wrap my arms around his neck. I felt so much compassion in the way he kissed me, and it was so easy to believe he knew exactly how to make things better. I wanted him to make things better. I wanted to just close my eyes and pretend that everything before this moment was just a bad dream.

Far too soon, I was pulled right back into my nightmare. Just as I'd slid my hand to Luke's chest and undid two of his buttons, I heard Gordon call my name. On instinct, I jumped away from Luke, but the look of murder was already in Gordon's eyes. In the blink of an eye, he was on Luke. I wasn't even sure Luke knew what hit him before he was on the floor trying to block more merciless blows from Gordon. I had no choice but to intervene because I was sure Gordon honestly had murder on his mind.

When I pulled on him, however, he snatched away from me. My touching him caused his full attention to be put on me, and after going weeks missing him being near me, I suddenly wished he'd just vanish again. I took two steps back, but he met my stride and gripped my waist as he backed me up to the wall.

"Why were you kissing him?" he asked, and his voice was too calm for my nerves. I didn't answer because of that, and he just lowered his lips to my ear so I could hear him whisper. "I guess you really don't love me. You don't hurt the ones you love like this, Neila."

I pushed him away from me, and I almost slapped him but instead settled for another push. "You think you're the only one hurt!" I exclaimed.

"You just don't"—he started, but Luke ceased the statement with a punch.

Gordon fell on a chair I had in the corner and Luke pounced on him. I screamed for them to stop, but Luke wouldn't let up on Gordon and then grabbed him by his collar and threw him on the floor. He held onto Gordon's shirt to keep him down and swung at the same time, but Gordon still managed to get to his feet. He ripped Luke's hand away and pushed Luke against the wall before swinging back. Luke tried to dodge the hits, but it was clear Gordon had more practice in hand to hand combat.

I didn't want to put myself in the middle of the two of them, but when Luke went down again, I felt I had no choice. I managed to move Gordon to the other side of the room, and Luke climbed to his feet. I tried to calm Gordon down, but he wanted to continue to curse Luke out. I was just thankful he wasn't trying to fight me off.

"Luke, will you just leave?" I fussed once he started shouting back with Gordon.

He looked at me as if I'd lost my mind, and Gordon almost got passed me. I turned my back to him and used every bit of muscle and pushed back until he stopped resisting so much. Luke still stared at me then he pointed at Gordon.

"You're kicking me out because of him? You're going to pick Mr. Thug Love over me?" he asked, and I could hear the bafflement in his voice.

"You better take your ass on, mother fucker!" Gordon cursed him and almost moved me out of the way again.

"You're being stupid, Neila! He's just going to hurt you again."

"Luke, leave!" I ordered him. I didn't want him causing any more of a headache.

He scoffed then took a few steps before coming to stand in my face. "If you take him back, you deserve all the hell he's going to put you through."

Luke finally left after that, and Gordon started to pace away from me, but he wouldn't say anything. It was quiet for a good five minutes because I had absolutely no idea what to say, and when I finally did open my mouth—just to call his name—he walked out. I ran behind him as he jogged down the steps, and that's when I saw Dani there looking confused.

"Who the hell was that?" she asked as she threw her thumb over her shoulder and pointed at the door.

"You brought me over here to talk to her ass, and she up there about to fuck another nigga?" Gordon questioned her with his anger still evident in his voice.

"I wasn't about to sleep with him, Gordon," I fumed at him, but he ignored me and went to stand in front of Dani.

She just looked from me to him with confusion still on her face. "What are you talking about?"

"I wasn't about to sleep with him!" I screamed and turned him to face me.

"Then why were you undressing him?" he asked me calmly.

"I wasn't—I—I—" I stuttered, and he pushed away from me.

"I never thought you'd be the type to just throw your pussy around," he said with resentment, and I slapped him across his face.

"Go to hell!" Dani pulled me away from him, but I snatched away from her. "You left, Gordon. We weren't together, so if I decide to kiss or even have sex with somebody, that's my choice to make!" He just glared at me, and I pushed his chest. "Where were you, huh? Where were you! Did you think I was just going to sit by the phone waiting for you to call me?"

His neck twitched a little then he walked to the door. Before he could get out however, Dani pushed him back over to me. "Talk to her, Gordon."

"The fuck is there to talk about?" he fussed at her.

"You're acting like an idiot right now," she fussed back. "You really think Neila would just sleep around on you? You know her. You know her character."

"I know what the fuck I just saw!"

"I was upset!" I yelled at him, and my voice shook a little. I could feel the tears on their way, and I didn't even try to stop them. "I was missing you, and I just wanted to feel like somebody cared . . . like somebody wanted me."

"I promise to God, you and your excuses, Neila," he said as if he'd had enough.

"I told you to just come talk to her," Dani barked at him. "Didn't I tell you it would blow up in your face if you just let the situation drag on?"

"So this is my fault?" he questioned with a laugh. "I pushed her into the arms of some other dude because I wanted her to admit to her shit?"

"Gordon, please do not start this again!" I begged him. I'd had enough of this whole thing, and he just wanted to hang something over my head that I hadn't even done. "I didn't do any of those things that woman said I did! Deklyne—"

"I know who the fuck did it!" he hollered back at me and punched one of my lamps, breaking it. "That high yellow bitch is dead to me, and she better hope to God I never see her again. Regardless of wanting to beat her ass, I got my daughter back at home, where she belongs. She's good, so I'm good. What you don't get is that bet hurt me, and you refuse to apologize for it."

"And I'm not going to. That would be like saying I'm sorry for meeting you, and I'm not. Despite the complete jackass that you are, I'm not sorry for meeting you."

"What the fuck?" he squinted and asked as if I'd spoken in some foreign language. "I met you at my party and tried like hell to get you to hold a conversation with me. I tracked you down at your office and set up a bullshit ass meeting with the only dude who didn't refer to you as the Ice Queen from Bitchville. The only reason I took a second job with Deklyne was because I was hoping I'd see you again. Then I saw your ass drive pass me one day, so like a stalker, I followed you so we could have lunch, and you talked shit about me until I finally left. Despite you being a jackass," he mocked me, "it was love at first sight for me. Knowing you only gave me the time of day because you wanted to get Terri a job made me feel like an idiot."

"And I still don't get what you want me to apologize for."

"Wait a minute," Dani said, holding her hand up. "So what exactly was I to you?" she asked Gordon, and I really did not feel like being a party to this conversation nor did I think her timing was appropriate. "Don't get me wrong, I don't regret where our relationship landed us, but you're saying all of this to her like you didn't come after me."

"Danielle, your ass came after me," he fussed.

"Twist it how you want, but you weren't trying to keep your distance."

He frowned at her and shrugged. I was also a little more than curious to know how he'd respond to her because he had yet to give me a solid answer as to why he wouldn't keep his distance from her. "I got attached to you," he said with agitation. "We had some type of connection. Neither one of us could help that, but you know as well as I do, there was something deeper keeping us from getting involved with each other. We were just confused."

"Confused about what?" she asked with irritation.

He groaned and shook his head. "I don't know what the hell I'm talking about—your ass was in on the bet too. I was confused. You were entertaining yourself."

"No, sweetheart. We were involved, and I had you long before this bet. They thought they could take you from me, so I let them try," Dani unnecessarily tried to clarify, and Gordon gave her a annoyed glare. "So what were we confused about because I was trying to gain nothing out of this bet other than you?"

He rolled his eyes and shook his head before answering. "We were confused thinking we had feelings for each other."

"Dani has never held feelings for anyone," she said as if that was the dumbest thing Gordon had ever said.

"Dani, we care about each other. Okay?" he asked getting a little irritated with her too. "You want me to spell the shit out for you right now? This very minute is when you want to inquire about this?"

"The timing is fine with me," she shrugged, truly showing how she loved to make any situation about herself.

He huffed in frustration and brushed his hair forward. "We're friends that at one point were attracted to each other, but we're just friends." I felt slight jealousy pass over me at his words, but I kept my comments to myself.

"Friends?" Dani fussed. "What the fuck is a friend?"

"Somebody that drags a nigga out his house because she wants him to talk to his ex," he fussed back.

"Oh." Dani nodded and thought for a second then gave a shrug. "Okay, back to you fixing this shit." She waved her hand between the two of us, and I just sighed.

"It was a game of cat and mouse on both parts. You thought you wanted Dani, and I—"

"I knew I wanted you, but you didn't—"

"You're upset because I didn't want you at first. Big deal, Gordon! I don't see any difference between what started our relationship and you going through hell to get an uninterested woman to finally talk to you. You did all of those extremes to get my attention, and it didn't work. Why feel like an idiot because some other extreme did the trick? You don't hear me saying anything about your brief relationship with Dani. While I started this off because of a bet, you, at one point, didn't know who you wanted to be with. When we finally took the time to get to know each other, we grew to care for each other. Why apologize for that, Gordon?"

He laughed at me and brushed his hair forward, and for a little while longer he wouldn't say anything. "I honestly have no clue, anymore." He crinkled his brow as if he was giving the whole situation deeper thought, and the silence grew deafening for a while. "It is stupid, huh?" he asked with a smile, but I wasn't sure if he truly believed what he was saying.

"It's your ego, Gordon, and you know it," Dani told him. "You got her in the end, so what's the problem?"

He didn't answer right away then he stared at her for a few moments before he spoke. "There is no problem." He shrugged and his smile was gone. "No need for an apology," he murmured then looked down at the brim of his shirt. It was half untucked and torn, so he just decided to untuck the rest of it.

"I'm sorry I made a big deal out of it," he said directly to me. Like he did with Dani, he just watched me for a few moments then he walked over to me and brushed a few strands of hair out of my face. "I got you in the end, though. Right? You're with me?" he asked me so softly, looking down at me with distant eyes.

I couldn't help but feel some kind of disconnect with him, and the sadness I heard in his voice didn't help matters either.

"You are with me, aren't you?" he asked me again, still stroking my cheek. This time I nodded and wrapped my arms around his waist, and he kissed me gently. "Well that's all that matters," he whispered before kissing me again, and I felt his emotions coming back.

He pulled me closer to him and held me tighter, and I could tell he was searching for something with his kiss. It was him who stopped it though, and he moved my arms from around him.

"Dani, I need a ride back home," he told her, stepping away from me.

"Why do you have to leave?" I asked him, grabbing his hand, and his slipping it away from me didn't go unnoticed.

He was still calm though, and he even looked at me as if everything was fine. "Hayley," he simply said with a smile. "I have to go check on her."

"Neila, can take you," Dani offered, and I was about to grab my keys until I remembered where my car was.

"My car is at the office," I said a bit upset with myself.

"Just drive mine. I can stay here," she said, holding her keys out for me.

"I messed up her room," Gordon spoke up. "She has to clean that up, and my bad for that," he added and looked at me—with a blank face.

I just stared at him for a few seconds then he frowned at me. "Gordon, what are you doing? You're leaving; you don't want me to touch you; you don't want me to drive you home. What is it? You don't want to be around me?"

"I'm still upset about a few things that's happened today and in the past, but I don't want to fight any more about something that is clearly unimportant," he said with a shrug, but he wouldn't look at me. "We make each other happy, and we're together. That's the bottom line."

I wanted to scream at him for being so calm with me right now. It was like he'd shut his emotions off, and that set off an alarm in my head causing me to march up to him. I didn't know what I was going to say or do, but I marched. He wrapped his arms around me before I did much else, though.

"I don't want to lose you because I can't get control of my emotions. I'm not going anywhere, Neila. I couldn't walk away from you even if I tried." He paused and kissed my cheek. "It makes more sense to just put all this bullshit behind us, and that's what we're going to do." He stopped talking for a second and gave me full eye contact and butterflies danced in my stomach. "But I need to leave right now."

"Gordon—"

"I love you, though," he said with a smirk, and that was the only time a tickle of relief found its way to me.

I intended to only give him a quick peck, but he deepened the kiss before whispering that he knew he was happy that I was in his life regardless of how it all happened.

I pulled him into a tight hug before telling him, "Well hurry and come back."

"Okay," was all he said then walked out.

Sixty-Seven : Gordon

I still couldn't believe Neila's ass, and I honestly didn't care if Dani thought it was just my ego that was bruised. Loving Neila wasn't some cake walk, but I've never complained about it until now. There was a certain technique to dealing with her ass, and for some reason, she thought I was just supposed to deal with it. As far as she was concerned, there was only the bottom line, so fuck everything else—especially if it was the opinions or feelings of somebody else. Her and Dani's ass was just alike.

I mean, I know Neila's character. I'm not saying she's some bitch who's incapable of caring, but I just feel she won't care unless the situation has importance to her, and that's bullshit. If I tell you something bothers me, why should I have to brush it off just because you think it's small? The reason she wanted me to stop helping Dani was because she felt insecure about my intentions with Dani. I know where my heart is though, so her worries were silly to me. Still, I was willing to cut that tie with Dani just to appease her.

On top of that, how could she compare my going out of my way to get to know her to her only giving me the time of day just to get Terri a job? Why am I in the wrong for wanting her to apologize for that? I knew it wouldn't change the fact that she thought I was just a waste of time in the beginning, but it would make me somewhat believe she now cares about what I'm feeling. That's all I've been trying to get her to understand: You did something that was foul and gamed me until you fell for me, so apologize for it. Don't tell me, _"Well it happened. Now we're together, so get over it."_

My heart was involved in this from the start, and it wasn't like she didn't know that. It wasn't like she'd picked up some random man and played chance. If she wouldn't have fell for me, where the hell would I be? I'd still be in love with a woman who didn't care about me, Terri would have a job, and I would have had to figure out how to deal with a broken heart and a kid that's not even mine by blood. But I guess none of that means shit because luckily for me, I charmed her just enough.

Thinking about this just made me feel like I couldn't trust her to care about me as selfless as I cared about her. Not to mention if I pissed her off, I would have to worry about her jumping in the first pair of comforting arms.

Before I could drown any further into my thoughts, Hayley hit me with one of the pillows she was laying on the floor with. I just eyed her, and she giggled until she realized I wasn't about laugh with her. She stared back at me for a few seconds then she started swinging her hands like she didn't know what else to do.

After a while, she crawled over to her toys she'd left in the corner, and I sucked my teeth because I'd told her last night not to leave them there. She looked back at me like she wanted to say something, and I slightly frowned at her because I knew she was going to be a smartass. Instead, she just grabbed her toys, so I went back to being pissed about Neila.

"Daddy, it's broke," Hayley finally said to me, holding up the Elmo toy Val had just bought for her. I just looked at her again, and she frowned before dropping her hands to her sides. "What am I supposed to do with it now?" I still wouldn't answer her and just checked the time.

She should have been in bed over an hour ago, but I didn't feel like going through her routine to get her to sleep. I was just going to wait her out, so I grabbed the remote to turn on the TV. Before I found anything interesting to watch, I heard her grunt then she threw Elmo at the umbrella stand. It landed inside the stand, but the force knocked it over as well as the three umbrellas in it.

"Three points!" she screamed as if she knew what the hell she was talking about.

I'd already told her she needed to stop playing so much, and if she wanted to act a fool she needed to stay in her room. "Hayley, go upstairs with that," I snapped at her. I tossed the remote on the coffee table and walked over to straighten things up, snatching up the umbrellas and flinging the Elmo on the couch.

"That wasn't funny to yo—"

"No, it wasn't funny. I already told you to stop acting up. I'm not playing with you," I fussed before she could fully get out her question. I was not in the mood for all of her games. All I really wanted was to be left alone.

I flopped back on the couch and covered my face letting out a loud breath. I could feel a headache coming on, and I was two seconds away from calling Mike to have him watch Hayley for me. I couldn't concentrate with so much was clouding up my head. I knew I had to just get over this with Neila, though. Hayley was on one hundred, and no doubt she was yet again about to get her ass into something within the next five minutes.

When I finally moved my hands to check on her, I noticed her sitting with a pout on her face and her shoulders were slumped. I didn't realize she was crying until she took three quick breaths and then wiped her face with the back of her hand.

"Hayley?" I called her, but she wouldn't look at me. "Hayley, stop crying. I told you not to throw and break things or you were going to get in trouble."

"But it was already broke," she whined, and I just shook my head. "I didn't break it," she said with a hard hiccup.

"Hayley, stop crying before you make yourself sick." I really didn't understand why she was getting over the top, and I didn't want her messing up her breathing just because she didn't want to get in trouble.

She took three more quick breaths before whimpering and this time used her shirt to wipe her face. "Why do you keep being mean to me?" she sobbed, and I just looked at her.

"I'm not being mean to you," I told her calmly so she wouldn't bring on any more hysterics. "You shouldn't be throwing things in the house."

"Since—Since—Since," she stuttered through her crying, "Since Mommy brought me back, you don't like me no more. You won't play with me no more. You wanted her to take me back?" She stood up and headed for the stairs, and when I called her name, she took off running. "You don't want me no more!"

"Hayley," I called her again and stood up right when she hit the stairs.

"You don't want me no more!"

I ran after her and scooped her up then just sat on the steps with her. She wrapped her arms around my neck and cried on my shoulder, and I just held her. She was the last person I ever wanted to see cry like this, and I damn sure never wanted to be the reason she was crying.

I don't know how I could have allowed myself to get so wrapped up in my own drama that I let it affect her. She'd been feeling like I didn't want her? What the fuck had I been doing to my child to make her feel like that?

I tried to move her so I could look at her, but she wouldn't let me go, so I just rubbed her back as she clung to me and continued to cry. It broke my heart to hear her like this, and I couldn't even fight the tears that fell down my cheeks. I felt like shit, and I was ashamed of myself. She'd never been so shaken up like this, and I was the cause of it. I cradled her for almost a full ten minutes before she started to quiet down.

"Hayley, I'm sorry, baby," I said in a shaky voice, but she wouldn't say anything. Her cries were still getting softer, though. I held her a little tighter and kissed her cheek, and she gave a small cough. "I don't want you to ever feel like that. Okay?" She still wouldn't say anything, so I moved her back a little to see her face. "Look at me, baby girl." She wouldn't at first, so I made her. "Daddy, loves you, and you're the one person I know I can't live without," I told her and held her cheeks. "I always want you around. You hear me?" She hesitated but finally nodded. She still couldn't look me in the eyes for long, though. "Hayley, I'm sorry."

She sniffled and rested her head on my shoulder again. "You're not mad at me no more?" she asked me softly.

"I was never mad at you." I rubbed her back, and I felt her relax a bit more. "I shouldn't have made you feel that way."

She let out a breath, like she was preparing herself to ask something. She hesitated though then moved to put her knees in my lap to fully face me, but she put her head on my shoulder again. "So you'll play with me again?"

"Yeah, I'll play," I said lowly. I was glad she was starting to feel better, but I still wasn't able to forgive myself yet.

She pulled away from me to look at me, like she was trying to test me. "You'll even play Cupcakes?" she asked because she knew that was one game I did not like to play. She always made me dress up in all purple and pretend to be her pet bunny who only ate cupcakes. I just chuckled at her and nodded my answer then she started wiping my face. "Did I make you cry?" she asked, all concerned. Her little self was still worried about me even after the fact.

I just grabbed her hand to kiss it then I kissed her cheek. "You know I love you, right?"

She kissed my nose then patted my head. "Love you too. We shouldn't make each other sad no more," she told me and hugged me.

"Deal, baby girl."

I thought for a while we were just going to sit on the stairs, but the doorbell ringing cancelled out that idea. I was going to just ignore it, but whoever it was didn't seem to be leaving that easily. I carried Hayley with me as I went to answer the door, and I finally got a real laugh from her when I teased her about her choice of socks she had on. I was laughing with her until I opened the door and saw Neila standing there with a basket of food.

"Neila!" Hayley squealed, and at first it bothered me, but I let her lean over to hug Neila.

Neila kissed her cheek then looked at me as if she thought I was supposed to say something. When she got no response from me, she stepped around me and went to set the basket on the coffee table. I just sighed before closing the door and setting Hayley down so she could run right to Neila, like I knew she wanted. Neila didn't waste any time fixing her a plate and starting The Lion King for her, but I still refused to move from the door. Once she was done getting Hayley settled down, she came over to me, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"I can tell you're still upset with me, but I just want you to know that I do care about you, Gordon. I don't want to hurt you; I never wanted to hurt you. That wasn't my intention." My body remained stiff, and I just looked down at her. "Regardless of everything that has happened, I can't even explain to you how important you are to me. In all my life I have never—never had anyone mean to me what you mean to me. I've always just wanted people to stay away from me, but I don't want that with you. I hate being away from you, and it scares me that I might lose the chance to be all of that and more for you. I want to be—"

I finally wrapped my arms around her waist after hearing her say that. Those words felt like the breath of fresh air I needed, and I couldn't help the somersaults my heart did when I read her emotions in her eyes as well.

"Gordon?" I could feel her pulling me closer to her to hug her, and I gave in, causing her to let out breath of relief. "I just wish you could understand how happy I am to have you in my life."

"I guess neither one of us knows how to make shit easy, huh?"

I honestly didn't want to be upset about this issue anymore. I knew where my heart was, and I knew where hers was. That should be all that mattered. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle things without her in my life. Look at how I messed up with Hayley. This woman meant too much to me and affected my life too deeply for me to hold a grudge about anything.

"That speech would have been so much better had you been butt ass naked," I whispered in her ear.

She let out a breathy laugh and squeezed me a little tighter. "You are never going to get me to bring food over here while I'm nude," she informed me.

"We'll see. I've been teaching you a lot of freaky things you thought you'd never do." I grabbed her ass, and she moaned softly before trying to pull away from me. I wouldn't let her though and kissed her neck as I started walking her to the couch. "I make you happy, woman?" I asked her in her ear.

She giggled as she tried not to fall while I was forcing her to walk backwards. "Gordon—"

"You make me happy," I told her before kissing her again. She let out another giggle and tried to warn me that we'd reached the couch, but I kept going until we both fell over. She screamed, and I landed on the floor but climbed back on top of her. "I missed you," I said looking down at her then smiling at her smile.

"I missed you, too."

I leaned down to kiss her softly then traced kisses to her ear. "I love you."

She giggled and squirmed a little when I blew in her ear, and I smiled wider. "We shouldn't be so affectionate in front of Hayley," she warned me, but she wrapped her arms around my neck. "My cooking always makes you feel better."

"This shit has nothing to do with your cooking, baby." I kissed her again, and she smiled between kisses then turned her head to laugh.

"But I cooked specifically for you, Gordon. Aren't you going to eat it?"

"Later. Right now I'm focusing on you." This time when I kissed her, I didn't let her break it. Unfortunately, Hayley did by pulling my head away. She didn't even say anything either, just stared me down until I got off of Neila. "You happy now?" I teased her and tickled her a bit.

She laughed and ran to get her plate then came back to sit in my lap. Neila fixed us both plates, but Hayley wouldn't let me eat because she didn't want to get out of my lap. I didn't mind though, and by the time the movie was over, she was asleep. Neila was in the kitchen putting up the food, so I took Hayley upstairs to put her to bed. As soon as I stepped in my room, Neila was climbing in bed, and I just smiled at the view.

"Stop it, Gordon," she teased, and I just chuckled. "I need one of your shirts to sleep in," she said, sitting up against the headboard.

"No," I told her with a frown. "Just take your clothes off."

"I don't sleep in just underwear."

I stripped down to mine before walking over to undress her. She let me get to her last button on her shirt before moving to the other side of the bed and undressing herself. Then she got under the covers and turned the lamp off.

"The hell you doing?" I asked her after watching her just lay there for a minute.

"Going to sleep." She tried to sound as if she was upset, but I heard the humor in her tone.

"Listen," I started firmly, trying to put all joking aside, "I know you're new to this type of shit, but this is where the makeup sex comes in." I heard her giggle, and I frowned at her silhouette. "The hell you laughing at?"

"I'm going to sleep, Gordon," she said matter-of-factly.

Again I just frowned at her silhouette for a few seconds. "You like pissing me off, don't you?"

"You should have let Hayley sleep at your friend's place tonight. You know I don't like doing things with her in the next room."

"That's what doors are for, Neila," I fussed at her, and she finally sat up. I could tell she was still smiling, but I didn't see a damn thing that was funny.

"Will you calm down?" she asked and pulled me into bed. "It's just one night." She pecked me on the lips and tried to leave it at that, but I wasn't having it.

I pulled the covers off of her, and when she tried to push me away, I pinned her hands down and went to kissing her spot on her neck. I knew right where to kiss to get her entire body to fall under my command, and she was already into it before I could get her panties off.

|__'__|

The next morning I woke with her in my arms, and I couldn't help but stare at her for a while. She was so damn beautiful, and I couldn't deny that I felt lucky as hell to be with her. No doubt she knew how to work my nerves every once and a while, but no one had ever made me feel the way that she had.

I moved her hair out of her face and leaned over to kiss her forehead. She moved closer to me, and I noticed a small scare under her chin. I traced my finger over it and chuckled when she frowned.

Every time I touched her while she was sleep, she'd always frown, but she never woke up to protest it. Before I could bother her more, my phone chirped to let me know I had a new text message. I reached over Neila to grab it and saw that it was from Dani, asking me if I'd fixed things with Neila. I just shook my head and called her.

"Hello." I could tell she was in a chipper mood, and I couldn't help but worry that she'd had a few sips of something. She was never "chipper."

"Why you so happy?" I asked her with a frown and sitting up to keep from disturbing Neila.

"Why the hell are you questioning my happiness?" she quizzed with attitude. "I can't be happy?"

"Not you," I shot back. "And damn sure not this early in the morning."

"You know what, I'm going to ignore the asshole in you right now. Just answer my question so I can get to the real reason I'm talking to you so early."

"And why do you need to know that if that's not the real reason you're talking to me?" The scene of both Neila and Dani jumping on me the other day flashed through my mind, and it bothered me that more than likely if Neila and I were to have another disagreement I was going to have to worry about this one too.

"The same reason you want to know if alcohol has me happy this morning," she snapped.

"Whatever man," I mumbled and stood up to get dressed. "She came over last night," I finally told her as I slipped on some shorts.

"And?" she asked with impatience.

"I gave her the dick," I said with a sly grin on my face.

"You really don't need to give that kind of detail." I just chuckled at the annoyance I heard in her voice. "All I wanted to know was if you two worked things out."

"I worked that pussy out," I said and smiled because I knew I was pissing her off.

"Gordon," she warned me.

"More than once."

"Gordon!"

I laughed at her and walked out of my room. "Don't be asking questions then," I teased. I went to check on Hayley and saw she was laying awkwardly, so I repositioned her before heading downstairs.

"Anyway," she finally said after counting down from something. "There was something else I wanted to talk to you about. . . . It's more like a needed to talk to you about, and I don't need any of you slick ass comments."

I could hear caution in her tone, and I prepared myself to hear the worst. "What is it?"

"I want you to be my sponsor."

I paused on the steps for a few seconds as I tried to understand what she was asking me. "Dani, I can't do that," I told her, trying to let her down as gently as possible.

"And why the hell not?" she fussed anyway. "You've basically been doing what a sponsor is supposed to do."

"Your sponsor is supposed to be someone who's a successfully recovering member of AA. I can't be there for you the same way a person can who's been in your shoes. They'll understand you better."

"See, you keep acting like I'm some ten year, too weak to even see a bottle type drunk. I didn't start drinking heavy until this year."

"Stop making excuses. You know I'm always here for you, but I really think you need to start doing these steps in order and exactly the way they're supposed to be done. Stop making up your own rules."

"You really make me sick."

"I'm about to cook breakfast, so call me later."

"I won't," she huffed in my ear before disconnecting the call.

I tossed my phone on the counter and slapped my hands together as I looked around the kitchen. I wanted to make a big breakfast for Neila and Hayley, and I was determined not to mess it up. My determination wasn't worth a damn, though. I prepared everything that I'd need to make eggs, grits, pancakes and sausage, but after messing up eight pancakes in a row, I gave up and went to get Neila. She was irritated at first, but after a few kisses here and there, she fed a brotha' good.

Sixty-Eight : Terri

I stood outside of Brentin's class, huffing because I'd been ready to go long before now. It felt like every day that I waited for him the time seemed to take longer and longer to pass. When I checked my watch the last time I still had twenty minutes until Brentin came out, and I just knew that was at least ten minutes ago. Unfortunately, that was all in my head because now I had eighteen minutes left. I just groaned and held my head down and decided to count to one hundred a few times to see if that would make anything speed up.

"Terri!" I heard a male call my name, but I wouldn't pick my head up. "Terri, you hear me fucking talking to your ass." I finally looked up, and Kevin was standing right in front of me. I had no clue what he thought I should say to him, so I just stayed quiet. "Man, what's really up with you and that faggot ass nigga?" he asked and chuckled, but I still wouldn't say anything. "You let him fuck yet?"

"That's not your business," I spat at him, but he only laughed harder at my anger.

"Say what? Your ass can talk above a whisper?" He laughed again, and I knocked his hand away when he tried to stroke my cheek. "I got to admit, though. You look sexy as hell when you're mad." My eyebrow twitched in reaction to him saying that, and he just smiled at me. "For real, though. Why you been ignoring me and waiting for this faggot to get out of class?"

"Stop calling him that," I fussed.

He just laughed at me as if I was amusing him. "He is a faggot."

"You're an idiot."

He smiled at me again and tried to kiss me, so I pushed him back. That only caused him to laugh again and grab my hands to restrain me from fighting him off. Twice he kissed my lips, but my ducking and constantly moving kept him from taking things further.

He tried to wrap my arms around his waist, and when he used his hands to hold my shoulders against the wall, I brought my hands between us to keep our bodies from touching. Again, he tried to force my arms away, but I wouldn't let him get a good enough hold on me.

In a split second, he opened up enough room for me to wiggle away, and I took it. Staying there felt like the dumbest thing I could do, but running down the halls would make me look like an idiot. I decided walking at a quick pace would do the trick, but he was a persistent asshole. His presence was so strong and evil, I could actually feel him behind me without even turning to make sure.

When the canteen finally came into view, I figured I'd be fine as long as I got in front of a crowd. He wouldn't try anything with witnesses around. Knowing that would end our encounter must have registered in his head too because I finally heard him running up behind me, and that's when he started pulling on me. I tugged my arm hard only once before he twisted it behind my back.

"Don't fucking run from me, bitch," he whispered harshly in my ear.

He pulled me closer to him, and now that he had me in his grasp, I felt a panic attack about to come on. The further we got from the canteen the harder my heart began to pound. I felt I was losing my breath, and a few times my vision went in and out. I knew right where he was leading me. It was the same place he use to take me when . . . before I'd met Brentin.

I knew I should have stopped him; I should have put up more of a resistance, but I felt trapped. It was like I'd gone back to the darkest of my days. I closed my eyes, trying like hell to wish myself out of this situation, and I only opened them when I heard a few people speaking. They were trying to stop Kevin to talk to him, but it was like he was on a mission. He'd talk for a few seconds, wrap his arm around my shoulder, and laugh with whomever it was, then he was back to pulling on me.

More than once I saw eyes on me—eyes who knew I was with Brentin. It was obvious from the way they were watching me too that they were thinking I was just some slut, going to fool around. Kevin didn't discourage those looks either, instead he egged them on when he'd kiss my cheek and rub my ass—then again, he was back to pulling me.

As soon as he got me to his favorite spot, he didn't waste any time. He pushed me against the wall and started kissing me while tugging at my shirt. I tried to push him off, so he grabbed my hands and pinned them above my head. When I turned my head so he couldn't kiss my lips, he just started kissing my cheek and working his way down my neck. I groaned in protest and tried like hell to angle my head and neck away from him, but he was in the clear advantage. I tried one more time to free my hands but just gave up when I realized he was too strong.

"You know how much I missed this pussy?" he asked, finally letting my hands fall so he could attempt to unbutton my pants. Again, I tried to push him away, and he gripped my biceps and shook me hard. "Stop fucking playing with me before I really hurt your ass," he threatened me with a hellish glare, and I felt like something inside me clicked. "Did you think I was just going to let you go? You're mine, baby. Remember that."

I had been seconds away from tears running down my face, but now I just felt calm. "Okay," I finally told him with my tone and expression revealing how calm I now was. He just eyed me a bit then his frown slowly started to relax. I could tell he was unsure of something, so I nodded at him. "Okay, Kevin." He decided to let my arms go, and I wrapped them around his neck and pecked his lips. "Kevin?" I called him lustfully, and he looked caught off guard for a second. When I kissed him again though, he wrapped his arms around me and returned the kiss with as much excitement as I was giving him.

"You missed this dick?" he asked gruffly and groped where he could.

I just moaned against his lips as he pushed me on the wall again. I protested by pushing him away then I made him trade positions with me. Once his back was on the wall, I went back to kissing him then I pulled his shirt off. He tried to get mine off, but I knocked his hands away and went for his belt.

"Shit, baby." He watched me as if he was ready to burst any moment then he started kissing on my neck as I unbuttoned and unzipped his pants.

"Do you want me, Kevin?" I asked him, feeling myself on some type of high.

He moaned against my skin and pulled me closer to him so I could feel his erection. "What you think?"

I just giggled at him before using every bit of muscle I had to knee him right in the balls. "Fuck you!" I screamed at him. "You're so disgusting!"

He cussed, groaned, and coughed, but I was hardly done with him. I slapped him once across the face and just watched him as he stayed off balance for a while then I slapped him again. For a second, it was like he was too stunned by the first hit too even care about anything else I was doing to him. That didn't stop me from throwing more hits at him, though. I don't know how many I had landed, but I went absolutely crazy on him—nonstop—for a couple of minutes.

Right when I was about to walk away though, he grabbed me by my hair and threw me on the floor. My first reaction was to get up, but when I felt a hard smack across my face, I just curled up in the fetal position. Luckily for me, that's all I had to endure before I heard Brentin screaming at him. I finally pulled my hands away from my face, and I saw groups of boys keeping both Brentin and Kevin apart.

"Y'all boys! Y'all boys!" one yelled and laughed. "Don't be fighting over no ho. For real. That's weak shit."

"You need to learn how to control your bitch!" Kevin hollered.

"I will beat the shit out of you, Kevin! That's a fucking promise!"

He pulled away from the ones holding him and grabbed his backpack from the ground then he came and snatched me up before I had time to get up. "Brentin, he—"

"Terri, don't fucking say anything to me right now," he barked at me, and he shocked me in the process.

I tried to pull away from him, but he tightened his grip on me. "Brentin, let me go!" I fussed, but he wouldn't respond to me.

He practically dragged me to his car then shoved me in, all without another word escaping his mouth. I had no idea why he was so upset with me all of a sudden, but he was really starting to annoy me. A few times I glanced at him as he drove, but I didn't say anything until he ran a red light and almost got us hit by an SUV.

"Brentin, what the hell is your problem!" I screamed angrily at him.

He didn't respond at first then pulled his phone from his pocket. Once he hit his Sleep/Wake button and unlocked his phone, he tossed it at me. Right on the screen was a picture of me while I was trying to unbutton Kevin's pants and he was kissing my neck. I didn't know what to say at that moment and just stared at the screen for a while.

"Brentin—"

"Six different people sent pictures of you," he fussed, "taking his shirt off, kissing him, and trying to get his pants off—"

"He forced me over there, Brentin!" I screamed again, finally feeling my tears return. He'd never spoken to me with such anger, and I just wasn't use to it from him. Hearing him like this brought on my waterworks immediately, and I just couldn't help it.

"He forced you over there so you turn around and try to have sex with him?" He swerved the car into the second lane, causing a slew of honks to follow us.

"Brentin, slow down," I demanded, and he eyed me out the corner of his eye. "I wasn't trying to have sex with him. He was trying to force me, so I pretended to be into it until I could fight him off. You saw what was happening when you came over there!" He suddenly got quiet, and I didn't know if it was because he was coming to his senses or if he was just getting that upset. "I wasn't going to do anything with him. I just did it to fight him off," I pleaded with him as tears kept falling down my face.

"So you had to kiss him so you could fight him?" he asked sourly.

"Was I supposed to just let him do what he wanted to me?"

"You couldn't walk away?" he fussed. "You had to kiss him?"

"I had to drop his defenses," I tried to explain to him, feeling like I was now on trial. "He over powered me."

"Let me get this right, you kissed and undressed him to drop his defenses so you could fight him off?" He took a quick glance at me, but I was quiet as I tried to understand where he was going with his question. "It was you kissing him at that point, so why couldn't you just leave?"

"He shouldn't have done that to me," I stressed. "He pulled me over there, tried to force me to do things, and I made him pay when I got the upper hand. You know what kind of person he is. You saw what he was doing when you got over there."

"So you tried to fight him, but that just resulted in me witnessing him physically hurting you after he sexually assaulted you. Was that what you were going for, Terri?"

"I fought him off, Brentin." I really couldn't understand why he wasn't getting the big picture. "I just used more force than you used with Deklyne," I barked at him, hoping to strike a nerve. "Why are you trying to blame this on me?"

"I'm not blaming you for Kevin," he said in annoyance then was quiet for a while. "Terri, what's going on with you? Seriously?" He frowned and shrugged his shoulders as if he was at a complete loss.

I didn't understand what he was trying to ask me, so for a moment I just sat there watching him. "What are you talking about?" I wiped my tears, and he just mumbled something under his breath. Of course I didn't hear what he said, and it hurt me deeply that he suddenly thought something so badly of me that he had to mumble it. "What, Brentin?" I asked as an icy feeling began to take over me. "What are you mumbling about?"

"What happened to you?" he asked as if he somehow thought I was a stranger, like I'd somehow become someone he didn't approve of or cherish anymore.

"Nothing happened to me," I fussed, feeling the anger I'd just had for Kevin spilling over to Brentin.

"One minute you're shy and innocent, the next you're a sex freak, the next you're beating everybody's ass. What's going on with you?"

"You have a problem with me defending myself?" I quizzed him, hardly believing what I was hearing come from his mouth. "People have always been using me and forcing me to do things I don't want to do for as long as I can remember, and you're upset with me because now I'm defending myself!" I turned completely in the seat, putting my left leg in it for a better advantage.

"Terri, turn around and sit down," he ordered me, but I just looked at him like he was crazy. "Sit down!" He grabbed at my leg to push it, and that's when I went off on him.

"Fuck you, Brentin!" I started punching him where I could, and he tried to drive and push me in my seat all at the same time.

I kept screaming at him while I was hitting him then he finally slammed on the breaks when he pulled over. I fell over, and he jumped out of the car. For over five minutes he just stood outside pacing, and when I realized it was probably going to be another five minutes, I jumped out with him.

"Take me to Gordon's," I demanded, and he stopped in his tracks to glare at me. "Take me to Gordon's, Brentin. I don't want to be around you right now!" I fussed, climbing back in the car.

In a matter of seconds, we were on our way again, and there was a deadly silence in the car. All the way to our destination, the only thing on my mind was Brentin actually wanting me to go back to letting people walk all over me. It was him who told me he hated the way I let others treat me, and now he complains every time I take up for myself.

I was over letting people's bullshit slide, and I was learning how to deal with people who crossed me. I made that bitch at the gas station apologize for disrespecting me. I made that bitch at McDonald's regret trying to cut me in line. I made a few whores think twice before thinking they could come between me and Brentin. I made Kevin pay for trying to make me feel weak again, and the most important thing I'd ever done in my life was to stomp a hole in Deklyne's face.

Just then we pulled into Gordon's driveway, and I didn't even wait for Brentin to turn the car off before I was running up to Gordon's door. It took him about a minute or so of me beating his door and ringing his bell before he finally snatched open the door, and I just pushed past him.

"Can you fucking believe him!" I screamed at him, now pacing in his living room.

"Who? The hell going on?" He was about to close the door, but Brentin pushed it back open. He was looking as heated as I was, but he was quiet. "What the hell is going on right now?" Gordon asked again, closing the door and coming to stand near me. I still didn't stop pacing, so he grabbed me to make me face him. "Tell me why you came flying in here like a mad woman."

"Brentin!" I felt Gordon was too close to me, so I pushed him away a little and went back to pacing. "You really should kick his ass. That's the only time people understand anything is when someone is beating their ass!" I glared at Brentin, but he still wouldn't say anything.

"Yesterday you were telling me he's the best thing that ever happened to you, now today you want me to beat his ass," he told me with a cocked eyebrow. "What brought on this change?"

"I'm not changing!" I lunged at him, but he caught me in midair and sat me down on the couch. "Stop telling me that! I finally grew a fucking backbone, and now everybody wants to come down on me about it! I can't do shit right, can I!" I wiggled away from him and tried to run up the stairs, but Brentin caught me first and pulled me into a tight hug.

"Terri, I just want you to be okay. I want you in a good place mentally," he whispered to me, and I couldn't hold my tears back anymore. "I know you've been holding so much anger in and now it's all coming out, but I don't want that to control you."

"I'm never going to let anyone hurt me again," I said, holding in my cries but unable to stop the tears.

"Baby, I'm never going to let that happen either." He rubbed my back for a few minutes then kissed my cheek. "Will you calm down for me now?"

Being in his arms really did calm me down. I never knew what it exactly was about him that all he had to do was hold me and everything suddenly felt right. I just held onto him tighter and rested my head on his chest, and right then I felt like a complete idiot. Here he was comforting me only moments after I'd totally lost my mind on him while he was driving. I wanted to apologize to him about it, but I just felt too embarrassed to even move.

"Brentin, I'm sorry," I finally whispered, and he angled my head so he could kiss me.

"Okay, now that I've resolved this debacle," Gordon said with a clap of his hands, "Brentin, I need you to come in early tonight."

Brentin turned to him and frowned. "The club's not even open tonight," he protested.

"You want to get paid or not?" He squinted at Brentin as if he felt totally disrespected by Brentin not just agreeing to the demand in the first place.

Brentin just sighed and grabbed my hand as he led me over to the couch. "What time?"

"Right now. I was just about to head over there to get some things done. Since you're here now, I figure things will get done faster. Plus Hayley won't have to sit in the office bored all day because Terri is here."

"Wait, how are you just going to put both of us to work like we don't have anything else to do?" I was glad Brentin spoke up about that, but I did manage a smirk at Gordon's response.

He just gave Brentin a dull look then grabbed his keys. "Hush and hop to. Time is money."

Brentin huffed again but stood up. Before leaving he did bend down to give me another kiss. "I want you happy, Terri. I want to make you so happy that there's no room for anymore anger."

I stared at him for a few seconds really taking in all he'd done for me and meant to me. He was the blessing I'd use to pray for, and it was growing harder and harder for me to picture my days without him. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him down into a deeper kiss, but it wasn't long before Gordon was pulling him off me and pushed him towards the door.

After Gordon and Brentin had a few threating words with each other, he looked down at me. "You on your period right now, woman?" he asked with an accusatory squint in his eyes. "You PMSing or something?"

I kicked at him, but he hopped out of the way. "Just get out, Gordon."

As I sat alone for a few minutes, I thought about what Brentin had said to me, and it really started to sink in. I didn't want to walk around feeling like I had to keep proving to everyone that I wasn't weak anymore. It's just I'd let the disrespect go on for so long, now the thought of anyone treating me like that drove me insane. I couldn't stand it, and nine times out of ten I reacted before I thought about my consequences.

I didn't want this causing a problem between me and Brentin anymore, and I really didn't want to take anything out on him because I wasn't able to handle things quite right yet. What we had was too important and letting it slip through my fingers would never be an option. All I had to do now was learn how to balance putting my foot down and walking away.

But God did it feel good to put my foot down.

Sixty-Nine : Neila

I checked over my last case one final time before tucking everything into my drawer until the next day. I didn't see the need to take anything home with me because I had plans with Gordon tonight, and I couldn't help the small giggle that left my lips as I thought about our plans. Gordon was actually home attempting to cook dinner. There wasn't the smallest clue dropped about what he'd decided to cook, but I knew from experience that whatever it was would more than likely lead to disaster.

Unfortunately, begging and pleading with him to think of something else to do did nothing to deter him. He said he was determined to show me he could pamper me in the manner that I pampered him. I tried more than once to explain to him that there was no need to cook to show that. He, however, insisted. I shook my head and giggled again as I pictured the mess he'd more than likely made in the kitchen.

Just as I was stepping out of my office, I noticed Luke talking to Kenneth, one of our newer associates. As I made my way to the elevator, I couldn't take my eyes off of him. For almost three weeks, he hadn't spoken a word to me. The first week he kept to himself, I wasn't too affected by it. It wasn't until the days that followed that it became much harder to deal with. In all honesty, he wasn't making my work day uncomfortable or making it impossible for me to work. I just simply didn't like the idea of him not talking to me.

The second I pressed the call button for the elevator, the doors opened. Right as that happened, a sudden wave of guilt and dread washed over me. There was a strong feeling gnawing at me as if I was running from my responsibility to fix things with Luke. I held some blame in the reason he was keeping his distance, and I felt the least I could do was attempt to make things easier between us.

I knew he deserved better than what I'd given him. In my moment of grief, he was there for me without a second thought. In turn however, I threw him to the side without a second thought. I let out a heavy sigh as I let the doors close before I'd moved myself from my spot. I turned once again to watch Luke, but he'd gone. Kenneth stood alone at his desk, and my eyes scanned the building until they landed on Luke's closed door. I didn't hesitate before making my way over.

Once inside, I noticed Luke reclining in his chair and holding his hands over his face. I was sure he'd head me come in, but I wasn't sure if he'd known exactly who was in his office with him. I decided I'd wait for him to remove his hands before I spoke. After another minute or so and a long breath, he finally spoke.

"Neila, if you have something to say, say it," he told me colorlessly.

I licked my lips as I tried to think of the best thing to say. Finally I just gave up and let out a nervous chuckle. "How uhh . . . How did you know it was me?"

"Anyone else would have already said what it was that they needed." I didn't respond to him, and eventually his hands came down. "Neila, what is it?" he asked tiredly.

I took a deep breath and moved closer to his desk. "How are you?" I asked lowly, and I wasn't able to hold steady eye contact with him for some reason.

"Making it," he answered flatly.

I'd grown accustom to picking up on when his demeanor suddenly went cold, and now would have been one of those times where he would have been cold. I would have guessed, anyway. Contrarily, he just seemed . . . blah.

"Well, that doesn't sound very enthusiastic," I tried to joke, but he just watched me for a long pause. "I was thinking, maybe tomorrow we could go have lunch?" I was actually hopeful about the outcome of that suggestion, but the frown he gave me crushed that hope with no mercy.

"Are you serious, Neila?" I was a bit caught off guard by his sudden irritation, so I just remained silent. "You think you can just come in here and act as if nothing happened?"

I gave him my own frown, which was full of confusion. "Luke, nothing is exactly what happen."

He rolled his eyes and stood up. "I forgot that you're honestly too slow to pick up on the obvious," he told me harshly then proceeded to think about something, almost as if he was trying to figure out how to simplify something. "I have feelings for you, Neila, deep feelings. I want to be with you. I came this close to having that—You played with the idea and then snatched it away. You can't come in here and expect me to just shrug that off and go back to being your friend."

I shook my head at him as I crossed my arms across my chest. "Luke, I don't understand where this is coming from. You have a wife—"

"For this last fucking time—She's my fiancée," he fussed and paced for a few steps. "Was my fiancée," he corrected after a few quiet and heated seconds from me. "You should know I broke off the engagement because I grew tired of trying to force myself to be happy with Jennifer."

"Why should I know this? Is that supposed to mean something to me?" I asked, honestly not understanding his intentions of telling me.

"Even if it was, you wouldn't give a damn," he told me bitterly. "Is there any other reason you came in here?"

I thought a moment, questioning if I should even admit to anything now. It was growing ever clearer that things would no longer be the same, but I couldn't help but think it would just take more effort.

"I really don't like you ignoring me. It doesn't feel . . . ideal," I finally said, and he only gave me an expressionless eye for a beat or two.

"You'd rather have me talking and laugh with you and just push what I'm feeling to the side, all so you can be happy and feel at ease?"

"I didn't mean it like that. I merely want us to get past this, move on and get back to how things use to be."

"You use to hate for me to stop by your office because you were too busy working," he explained. "If you want to go back to that, I'm all for it. If not, things are staying exactly the way they are now."

I knew when to leave things alone. If he wanted to remain upset, there was nothing else I could do for him. I finally walked out of his office, and I had already put him out of my mind by the time I started my car.

Now all I could think about was the chaos Gordon had going on in his kitchen. I wouldn't be surprised if I pulled up and found the fire department in front of his house. Luckily, there was nothing like that going on, and the house was actually pretty calm when I crept in. I made it all the way to the kitchen and found Gordon setting the table with plates that actually looked quite appetizing. The stove and counters still held the aftermath, but the table looked very welcoming.

"What's with the face, baby?" he asked walking over to give me a kiss and a tight hug. I just shrugged as I went to really inspect the food. There was what appeared to be baked chicken with lemon and caper sauce, which surprisingly smelled delicious. "I guess you thought I was going to destroy everything completely," he chuckled as he came to stand behind me and kiss my neck.

"I must say, I am shocked. How did you learn to do all of this on your first solo effort?" I asked as I turned in his arms and wrapped mine around his neck. I also couldn't hold back my smile due to the ease I felt when I touched him so freely.

"This isn't my first time cooking," he said defensively.

"This is the first time your result isn't something that should be placed in the trash," I told him with a raised brow.

"I'm hurt," he somberly alleged, and I chuckled before pecking him.

"How, Gordon?" I quizzed. I didn't want to make him feel as if I didn't appreciate it or make him feel as if I was trying to spoil things, but I knew this man.

"YouTube and Bing," he admitted with a smirk as I laughed at him.

"Yet every time I've tried to teach you, we've had trouble." I playfully pushed away from him and went to take in the table again.

"That's because you're sexy as hell and not a computer screen. Tell me you don't like when your cooking lessons end with sex," he challenged me, but I ignored him.

"Won't you tell Hayley to come down so we can enjoy this wonderful meal?" I sat at the table and smiled at him as he left to bring Hayley back. Seconds later she was stomping into the kitchen with Gordon frowning right behind her. "Aww. Hayley Fly, what's wrong?" I asked and held my hands out so she could come sit on my lap.

"I wanted burgers, but Daddy got that instead," she complained.

"It's looks good, though. You might like it. You just have to try it," I tried to persuade her.

"But I told him I wanted burgers," she resisted.

"I told you I'd get that tomorrow," he told her, sounding a tad bit irritated.

"Did you want this?" she turned to me and asked with tears glimmering in her eyes.

I just smiled at my drama queen, remembering when she ran up to me crying because Gordon was trying to feed her bologna and something else. To think, had Hayley not become so attached to my food, things could have very well turned out differently in my life. I brushed her hair back and held her cheeks before kissing her forehead.

"I didn't exactly want this because I didn't know what he was making, but now that I see it, I want it."

"Daddy!" she whipped around and fussed at him. "You said she wanted it," she accused him.

"Who you fussing at?" he asked her with a squint in his eyes.

"I wanted burgers. Neila didn't want this. So why did you get this if no one wanted it and I wanted burgers?" she went on.

I could tell she was trying to get her point across, and I almost laughed at the fiery passion she had in her voice. I knew better than to do that though because I didn't want to face her wrath. I doubted I could stand up to it as well as Gordon could.

"I already told you—" he tried to say but was cut short.

"You only got this to make believe you cooked it," she said in a huff and folded her arms.

"Hey!" he belted. At first I was giving him a side-eye after finding out his secret, but after his reaction, I couldn't help but laugh. "You little snitch," he fussed, but I knew he wasn't serious. "Give me my dollar back." He walked over to her, and she slapped at his stomach.

"No," she argued with him, but I held her arms down to keep her from swinging at her father. "He gave me a dollar and told me to make believe he cooked because you wanted it, but you don't even want it."

"So he lied to you and me, huh?" I played along with her, and she nodded.

"And he messed up the whole kitchen, and he burnt everything," she explained. "Then he got this and told me you wanted it even when you didn't and I told him I wanted burgers, Neila."

"Give her to me," Gordon instructed me, watching Hayley like a hawk staring down its prey.

"You are absolutely insane," I laughed again and pushed him back. "Now sit down so we can eat the catering you so expertly called for."

He eyed Hayley as he sat down, and I let her down so she could sit in her own seat. "At least I put everything on the plate nicely," he said with his little attitude.

"Which, I'm sure, is the best part," I teased him, and he just glared at me before ordering Hayley to say the grace.

For the most part of dinner, I sat back and basked in the feeling of belonging that had washed over the room. I felt as if I'd finally found my place in this crazy world. I'd found my center. Right in my face was a man who'd opened my mind and heart to so many things and shared so much of his life—of himself with me. I finally felt a sense of family—a sense that went passed mere responsibility. I finally felt . . . a connection with someone, and it wasn't as painful as I'd always imagined it would be. Every time I looked at Gordon with Hayley, I wanted to question why it had taken so long for me to find them.

After dinner and playing around for a while longer, Gordon finally decided to put Hayley to bed, and again I just watched them. They were like the perfect picture, and I could feel myself getting a little too sentimental at the sight. I stepped away from the door, and only seconds later was Gordon in his room with me. He pulled me into a hug and just stared into my eyes for a few moments.

"Why have you been so quiet, woman?" he asked softly.

"Just thinking," I responded and lightly drummed my fingers against the back of his neck.

"About?"

I took a moment to try to put my thoughts into words then I just lifted up to kiss him. "I don't think I want to live my life without you," I told him in all honesty.

"You don't think or you know you don't want to live your life without me?" he quizzed.

I chuckled at him wanting to pick apart what I was saying, but I decided to appease him. "I know, Gordon. Our friendship is special. It's so unique, and we've been so much to each other. I really don't see how we could ever separate."

He pecked me again and smiled then we both changed into sleepwear and climbed into bed together. He wasn't comfortable until he positioned me the way he wanted me, but I didn't protest much. I just cuddled up next to him as he gently caressed different parts of my body every now and then.

For a long while we just laid in the quiet and darkness that surrounded us, and I started to wonder why he hadn't fallen asleep yet. He was usually the one who fell asleep first, so I knew something had to be on his mind for him to still be awake.

"What are you thinking about?" I said out of the blue, and I felt him jump a bit.

"Woman, you scared the shit out of me. I thought you was sleep." I giggled softly and waited for him to answer me. "I was just thinking we . . . " He let his sentence trail off as if he wasn't sure he wanted to say anything anymore. I still remained quiet, however, giving him time to get his thoughts together. "Like . . . uhh . . . " He paused again then I heard him scratching his small goatee. "Our relationship, it's not . . . I mean maybe we shouldn't . . . "

His last pause was longer than his others, and that made me nervous. What was he trying to say about our friendship?

"Gordon, what is it?" I sat up to look down at him and saw a look of deep apprehension on his face. "What is it?" I asked again, and he chuckled nervously before pulling me back to lay on his chest.

He kissed my forehead and rubbed my back a little, but he was still having trouble speaking. "Nothing," he finally said in a faulty aloof manner. "Nothing, baby. I'm just sleepy."

I could tell he was trying to push the issue under the rug, but I wasn't at all comfortable with remaining in the dark about what had him unable to sleep and unable to speak to me. He wanted me to believe he was only tired, yet he wasn't able to go to sleep? Something had definitely piqued him, and neither one of us would get sleep until he let me know what it was.

"Something is going on with you, Gordon. You're not very good at concealing your worries." I exposed him. "What were you trying to say?"

After questioning him, I suddenly felt as if I didn't want to know his answer. Confusion, anticipation, dread, insecurity, and terror all bubbled in me, and so many negative explanations of what he was trying to tell me began to sound off in my head.

Was he trying to say our friendship is not what I was attempting to make it out to be earlier? Why after I explain my inner most thoughts would he suddenly be so concerned with the state we were in—so much so that he couldn't sleep?

Had I rushed back into things with him? Was he not yet comfortable with us picking things up so quickly? Did I cause him to question if he was truly ready to travel down this long road with me?

What was he trying to say we shouldn't do? We shouldn't spend our time together anymore? Was he trying to say he thinks our friendship has gone too far or as far as he's willing to let it go? Was he trying to end things, but he'd suddenly become too nervous to finish things off?

"Gordon, what were you trying to say?" I fussed with my concerns spilling out.

"Damn, calm down," he chuckled and pecked my forehead again. "The hell you getting all heated about? I said it wasn't serious, so let's just—"

"Will you just tell me?" I moaned, holding onto his shoulder. It felt like I was gripping onto his shoulder for dear life, and he had to grab my hand to get me to loosen up a bit. I knew the reason I was holding onto him so tightly, but I couldn't help it. My nerves had gotten the better of me.

He hesitated and sighed before finally opening his mouth. "You said you didn't want to live without me."

I didn't know what he thought that statement should explain. If anything, that statement brought more anxiety to my mind. Why was he saying that as if that was the explanation to why he was suddenly uncomfortable?

"So what is the problem with that?" I asked softly and fearing the worst.

"Nothing," he answered quickly and reassuringly. "I'm just thinking that sounds like a commitment," he said, and it sounded relatively close to a question.

"Are you saying you don't want that?"

"I'm saying, you said that statement and that's what it sounds like," he said in clarification, but I understood nothing he was trying to get across. I kept quiet this time, hoping he'd explain himself. "I was thinking, when people commit themselves to each other, they celebrate . . . together . . . with people . . . together . . . and maybe take a trip, like a titillating getaway . . . together."

I frowned at what he was saying. "You were acting like that just because you want to have a party and go on vacation?"

"Not a regular party though, a celebration of our commitment and then go to like the Bahamas or Hawaii or Jamaica."

I sighed as I felt my nerves coming back. He could be so silly at times, and I almost wanted to strangle him for putting me on the unnecessary ride just to tell me he wanted some party. "Gordon, you know I don't like parties."

I heard him sigh then chuckle. "I'm sure we'll have one someday . . . since your ass can't live without me and shit."

"Oh be quiet. I didn't tell you that for you to just laugh at it. I really feel that way."

"I know you love me," he said knowingly, and I tried to pinch him, but he grabbed my hand and laughed. Soon after he repositioned us, and we finally fell asleep.

Seventy : Deklyne

"Deklyne, get the fuck up," Nori grumbled from across the room, but I just rolled over in my spot and ignored him. "Get the fuck up. I'm not playing with you," he fussed this time.

"Dammit," I whined. "What the hell do you want?" I sat up just slightly and shaded my eyes. For some reason, the sunlight had begun to bother me a lot more.

"I want you out of my apartment; that's what the hell I want. I said you could stay here a few days. Time has been up."

"Man, could you just leave me alone right now?" I flopped back down because I wasn't going anywhere. He thought he was going to pull this after I finally gave in and had sex with him last night. He could kiss mine if he thought I was leaving.

"Look, I know you don't want me to put your ass out," he pitifully threatened, and I just chuckled at him then I got completely annoyed when I saw he was serious.

"You are hilarious, Nori." I rolled my eyes and readjusted my pillow before I bothered to say anything else. "You're not putting me out, so just move on with your life." I groaned as I tried to pull the covers over my head.

He just snatched them away though, throwing them on the floor and causing the cold air to attack my naked body. "We can do this shit the easy way: you get your shit, get dressed then go or we can do it the hard way. I'm letting you decide."

I finally sat up and leaned on my hands to look directly at him now. He was really feeling himself at this moment. He actually thought he had balls that could hang with mine? I'd been nice to this pathetic sack of shit for as long as I could remember, even when we worked together. See what happens when you're stupid enough to let someone think you're soft? Now he thought he had a right to talk to me like this? He was trying to kick me out with threats? This little bitch needed to be put in his place.

"Please stop pretending that you're going to do something. I said I'm not leaving," I told him calmly and watching him intensely.

I needed to study him a bit more before I pounced on him. He was never important enough for me to take notes on before, so all I really knew about him was he was a horny bitch who wanted everything walking.

Thinking about my time here, I was starting to pick up on his game. He was willing to do whatever he had to do in order to be able to say he had someone. He'd offered me his place with the minimum suggestion from me. I honestly didn't even have to ask, just said I needed a place to stay for a while because the jackass I'd been staying with kept wanting threesomes. This horny bastard jumped right at the opportunity, and here I was.

Still, I hadn't paid much attention to him once I was settled because I was too busy trying to keep him at bay. One thing I can say I learned, however, he cowered when he was faced with a real threat. Once when he took me out to the movies, one dude—by his damn self—punked him over a parking spot, and Nori didn't say shit. He just ignored the dude as we walked to the ticket window. Weak!

"I am going to do something," he said, pulling me from my thoughts. "I'm going to put you out."

"That's not happening," I informed him and still watched him.

His stance wasn't even strong, and his eyes looked like a kid's who hadn't even learned how to piss standing up. I smirked after realizing he could be controlled easily. I almost laughed right out, but something shifted in his face after I smirked at him. I don't know what it was, but his entire demeanor had completely changed. He wasn't giving off the same passive energy as he was before.

"I bet if I beat your ass it will happen," he said in a grim tone.

My eyes squinted at his nerve, and I felt a fiery venom shoot through my body. "Touch me bitch, and the police will be over here so fast—"

"This my apartment!" he blared at me. "You think they're going to do something to me because I'm trying to get you out?"

"As far as they'll know, I live here too," I said with a friendly tone and smile.

"Bullshit. My name's on the lease. This is my address on my license—"

"Oh like girlfriends don't move in without adding their names to their boyfriend's leases," I laughed at his excuse. "All my stuff is here—"

"You have three bags!"

I laughed harder at how angry he was getting then I just relaxed on his bed. "Nori, my things are in your drawers. You let me put them in there so I could feel more at home. Remember?" I teased and winked at him, completely tickled that I could use his own _'_ _get the pussy_ _'_ tricks against him. "So if you forcefully try to put me out, when the police come and I show them how you've manhandled your live-in girlfriend—all because I wouldn't cook you breakfast, so now you want me out," I elaborated, "they will take you to jail for domestic violence."

"Bitch, like they'd believe that," he said as if it was totally unbelievable.

Again I just laughed at him. "Are you willing to take that risk? I'm just saying, they'll come and see us in a heated battle; I'll cry a little." I smiled and shrugged at him. "They'll ultimately do their duty to protect and serve. They'll protect me from my abusive ass boyfriend who's trying to kick me out over nothing," I laughed.

"How stupid are you to believe I'm going to let them believe that? I have a mouth just like you, and I can tell them you're just an ex-coworker I let stay a few days—not my live-in girlfriend, and now you're some crazy bitch I'm trying to get out of my apartment!"

"Yeah, I'm the same crazy bitch who has all of her things here, in your drawers and your apartment key on my key ring. I'm the same crazy bitch who all of your neighbors have seen you kissing on in the hallways, and let's not forget when two different neighbors called the cops on us because you were trying to fuck me on your car. Yeah, you wanted the pussy real bad that night. And—and," I stressed, "I'm the same crazy bitch pregnant with your child!"

"The hell is wrong with you!" He put his hands on his head and stared at me as if I was some type of alien. "You need to get out. I'm not dealing with this. You're talking about you're pregnant? Bitch, we only fucked one time! And that was last night!"

"Nori, listen," I said calmly and ready to end this bullshit argument. "I need somewhere to crash. Now all of those times you had me cover for you at work, take gigs that you couldn't handle, I always came through for you."

"Fuck that. We're even. I let you stay here rent free for over a month, and I've been taking care of you financially because your ass got fired."

"Bravo, Nori," I said with enthusiasm and clapped for him. "All the more evidence to give the police." His frown got deeper when I said that, and I laughed in his face. "I'm not leaving until I feel like it."

"You must be delusional if you think I'm going to let you stay here because of some threats," he told me coldly, but I just smiled at him.

"You said you had to go visit your mother at ten-thirty," I reminded him, looking over to the clock. "It's already ten-twenty. You might want to speed things up a bit."

He stared at me for a few seconds then let out a breath and licked his lips. Without another word though, he was gone. I just laughed for a while until the quietness in the apartment started to become too noticeable.

For a long second, I just stared off at nothing then I slowly started to take in the room I was in. It was messy, dark, and so not me. I almost questioned why I let myself end up here, but it wasn't like I had too many options to choose from. I could either be living in my car, running my savings down by staying in a hotel, staying with an ugly, overweight jackass who wanted me to sleep with him and his boyfriend as payment, or stay here.

What else was I supposed to do but suck this shit up until I got Maurice to stop acting like such a bitch? Until then, I was left sitting in this raggedy ass apartment with nothing to do and nowhere to go. I was stuck here, stuck in this place that was not my home all because of two bitches who couldn't control their men.

See me on the other hand, I knew how to control my men, even when they put up a fight.

"Stupid fucking bitches," I mumbled and climbed out of bed.

I went searching through Nori's drawers for something to change into when I finished my shower. Nothing exciting was going to happen today, so I only grabbed a pair of his basketball shorts and a t-shirt. There was no need for a long shower either, and I thought I wasn't in there long. When I walked into the living room though, Nori was already sitting down and eating some McDonald's. When I noticed the bag, I didn't hesitate and walked right to it. Before I could even get my hand in the bag though, that asshole shoved me in the chair.

"What is wrong with you!" I yelled and glared up at him.

He looked back at me the same way before sitting back down. "I was thinking," he started calmly, and the way he took a moment to look at me—all shady and shit—put my alarms up, "you must be pretty desperate to act like this over somewhere to stay."

I took a second myself to watch him then just dismissed him. "You don't know what you're—"

"What I'm getting is nobody else wants to deal with you," he went on as if I hadn't been talking. "You're obviously some mentally fucked, miserable bitch."

I smirked at his nerve, but he was slowly starting to piss me off. "Are you really—"

"I see this simply. Don't piss me off, and you can stay here for as long as I allow. If I want sex, you give it to me. If I want a home cooked meal, you make it for me. If I want you gone so I can bring another bitch over here, you leave for the night or join in. This shit can be easy, Dek." He stared me down for a few seconds, and at first I couldn't respond because of how ridiculous he was making himself look.

I finally just chuckled at him and reclined in the seat. "You are a true comedian, Nori." I shook my head at him and smiled then slowly licked my lips at him. "I've already told you how things were going to go, so don't—"

"Don't be stupid. I've meant plenty of crazy females like you. All of y'all are the same, act hard because you're actually the weakest link. All it takes is one real nigga to break you, and I promise if you keep testing me, I'll break you. I got you Dek." He spoke as if he had firsthand knowledge about me.

"I don't care how many bitches you've met. I'm nothing like—"

"What? You're nothing like them?" He laughed his question at me, acting like he didn't believe a word I was saying. "All y'all wacked broads are just alike, either some nigga did you so wrong or your daddy wasn't there," he laughed, "or he was and was a disgusting bastard and he touched on you. Your mama is probably a crack head, and she never gave a damn about you."

"Don't you fucking say that!" I screamed at him and jumped from my seat. He just laughed harder as he stared at me and munched on his fries. "I promise you've never met somebody like me," I told him in a low tone. "Don't you ever speak about my mother again."

"Oh okay," he continued to laugh. "See I knew it was one of them. Your ass got mommy issues. What was she, a crack whore? She sold you for a fix?" He smiled at me for a while, but when I wouldn't respond, he relaxed in his seat. "Bitch, get the fuck out of my face. I'm being nice by letting you stay here, but you better keep your _'_ _Mommy don't love me_ _'_ issues under control."

"I said . . ." My voice was suddenly so shaky and weak, and I could feel my head spinning as I inched closer to him. "Don't you ever tell me my mother didn't want me," I spoke barely above a whisper.

"What I said was your mama didn't care about you, was a crack whore, and didn't love you. That's just to clarify, but I'm pretty sure that does boil down to not wanting your ass," he said and laughed. "That's why you're here begging me for a place to stay. She don't want your ass, and I don't blame her. Who'd want some crusty bitch like you? Nobody! She probably hated your ass the second you popped out her pussy." He stopped his constant talking for a second to smirk at me. "Bet money you're thinking about all the times she proved she hated your ass," he said smugly. "Did she ever just flat out tell you she hated you? Bet that hurt."

I felt so much rage flood through me at that moment, rage because I could hear my mother in my ear now and rage because he thought he had a right to speak on my life. As I stood there just glaring at him, everything around us seemed to burn away and take me right back to that old fucking apartment. I could see that bitch sitting with him and laughing at me. She was telling him how she didn't want me and how she hated me, and all I wanted to do was hurt the both of them.

I wasn't going to let him get away this, and I pounced on him. I started swinging as hard and as fast as I could until he stood up and threw me across the room, causing me to roll across the floor. He started screaming more things at me, but I charged him anyway. Breaking his nose was my goal, but even with my swinging at him, he was able to grab my throat. At first I didn't really feel the pressure, so I kept swinging until he slammed me on the floor. That's when I finally tried to pry his hand off because I started to feel a tightness in my head and my vision started to blur, but he didn't let me go until my body had started to go limp. When he stood up, I stayed on the floor and tried hard to get my breathing back to normal. My head felt like it was about to explode and my lungs burned a little. Something told me that I should just forget about this ugly piece of shit, but I needed to make him pay.

All the while I was thinking that and trying to get myself together, I heard him talking. I didn't try to register what he was saying because I honestly didn't care. I was still on my mission. As soon as the fog was gone from my head, I was charging him again. This time he punched me in my stomach. I couldn't help but to stop for a good minute, and I almost threw up because of how hard he hit me.

I tried to keep myself up, but I dropped to my knees as he walked a few steps away from me. He mumbled something as he moved, and I forced myself to get back up. I was able to grab his shirt collar, but he turned and pushed me on the back of the couch. I was already feeling a decent amount of my strength coming back, but I stayed in that position just to make sure I had enough power to hurt him as he rattled on some more.

In the middle of him calling me a name, I flew at him and finally landed a few of my own punches while holding onto his shirt again. He grabbed my hair and tried to control my hands until he just gave up and threw me on a wall. My back hurt like hell, but after letting the throbbing subside, I rushed him again.

For some reason, everything became comedy to him at that point. He started to laugh while blocking my hits, and when I started putting more force behind them, he started running from me but kept laughing. Hearing him laugh only pissed me off more, and that made me really want to hurt him. His bitch ass wouldn't stand still, though. I'd damn near worn myself out chasing him from the living room to the bedroom then to the kitchen then back to the living room again. I was disgusted with his weak ass, so I just stopped and stood there and literally tried to pull my hair out of my head.

Again he just stood there laughing at me, so I picked up a medium sized dish that had marbles in it and threw it at him. He blocked it, but from the scream he let out, I knew it hurt his arm. For a second, he just stared at me, so I grabbed the cordless phone and threw that at him. He blocked that too, so I went to grabbing whatever I could and hurling it at him as hard as I could. I finally got to his lamp, but he'd walked close enough to me to knock it out of my hand then he slapped me to the couch.

I tried to get up, but when I saw him advancing on me, I kicked at him. He forced my legs down though, so I went back to swinging. Too bad for my ass, he managed to grab both of my hands with one of his then he started punching me. I tried to ignore how hard he was hitting, but he just wouldn't stop. I could feel exactly where bruises were going to form later on, and the blood in my mouth was starting to get overwhelming. I finally just stop trying to fight back, and that's when he got off of me. I wouldn't move for a long while, and he watched me the whole time.

"Dumb ass bitch. I told you not to test me. I told you I'd beat your ass." He walked over to another seat and flopped down before grabbing the remote. "Getting mad at me because you got a bullshit ass mama that don't want you."

I couldn't take my eyes off of him as he sat there, continuing to spit that shit out of his mouth. As bad as my body was hurting and as bad as I wanted to just crawl into a dark hole right now, all that was on my mind was making him pay. Laying there watching him though, I knew there was only one thing that I could do.

With pain bouncing everywhere in my body, I peeled myself from the couch before making my way back to his room. I felt almost zombie-like as I walked, like I was there but wasn't at the same time. Everything looked a bit foggy and unclear, but I was more than clear about what I was about to do. Even still a small tremble was in my hand as I pulled open his drawer and put a slow grip on his gun. I didn't know exactly how to check if the gun was loaded, but I doubted it was empty. It felt heavy enough was all I could think, so I was soon painfully shuffling back to the living room.

Something stopped me though, and I caught my reflection in a mirror he had hanging in his hallway. I was sweaty, my hair was covering a lot of my face, blood dripped from my nose and mouth, and my eyes looked dead. I looked pathetic. He'd hurt me the same way she had, and he'd laughed about it the same way she had.

And now I was going to do to him what I'd always wanted to do to her.

Without any more delay, I went to stand in front of him, holding the gun behind my back. He just looked up at me with a smirk then he sipped on his drink.

"You need to go clean yoursel—"

Before he could finishing talking, I shot him right in his face. He didn't die at first, so I shot him again in his stomach. After a few gurgling sounds, he finally began to succumb to the inevitable, and I watched the whole thing. I kept the gun on him too, thinking it would have been fun to just go ahead and empty it into his body.

Strangely, I didn't feel anything about seeing him there. The only thought that was in my mind was he was finally dealt with. He couldn't say that foul BS to me anymore.

He shouldn't have said that to me. He had no right to say those things to me, so he had to pay. And he did.

Just like she soon would.

I continued to stand there staring and holding the gun on him, and I knew my problems were over. I couldn't feel any doubt in me. I actually couldn't feel anything for a while, but then I slowly started to realize there was this deafening silence drowning out some irritating ring. I blinked a few times as I felt myself being pulled out of some haze, and my breathing began to slow down when I realized that it was the home phone that was causing that irritating ringing. I let out another breath as I stared at it laying on the floor then all of a sudden a thousand emotions slammed into me.

I looked again at the body just sitting there then my body started to shake. My eyes kept moving from the gun to his body, and then I looked at the gun as if it had a mind of its own before I dropped it. I didn't know what the fuck to do at that moment, and I started to feel as if I was about to pass out. I started to hyperventilate and pace then the phone started ringing again. I ran over to it, and I saw the neighbor's name flash across the ID.

Warning bells started to sound off in my head, and I was almost out of the room when something told me to run and pick the gun up. I obeyed and held the gun on Nori, afraid that he was somehow about to spring back to life. After nothing happened, I couldn't hold in the sobs that were burning my chest.

I ran back to the bathroom and did my best to wash my face then I sprinted to the bedroom to change into my own clothes. The only other thing I could think to do was pack my shit and get the fuck out of this apartment, and I packed in record time. I even thought enough to grab the clothes I'd had on and the gun too, but nothing I was doing was making me feel at ease. I couldn't think of what I needed to do. What the fuck was I supposed to do now?

I snatched the door open, and I heard people talking in the doorway of another apartment. I didn't bother to look at them, but I heard their door closing right after that. I just rushed to my car and threw myself in then sped out of the complex. I wasn't even two minutes away from that place when the police flew passed me. I felt myself about to have a panic attack because I knew where they were going. One of those nosy ass neighbors had called the cops. I slammed my hands on the steering wheel and screamed as a few tears fell down my face.

What was I supposed to do now? My life had become so messed up in just a matter of a months, and it was all because of Neila and her pathetic little side kick. Those were the pathetic wastes of life I should have shot! She kicked me out because of some dick that doesn't even care about her? Fuck her and every last one of them! I didn't need them. I didn't need anybody. All I needed was a fresh start.

None of my sisters could even attempt to handle my life because they were all too weak. They could never deal with a piece of shit mother, three backstabbing sisters, and a person like Nori the way I had. I was stronger than them, and I swear on everything I hated those bitches. As long as I was anywhere near them, I knew they would continue to ruin everything for me. My life was so much better without them. I could think of a thousand ways to pay each one of them back, but I'm just going to let karma be the bitch that she is to them.

I finally turned to head to the highway, and I checked my gas meter. I knew the smartest thing for me to do was pull all of my money out of my account and fill up while I was still in the city. I did just that, but I couldn't ignore the feeling that was eating away at me. I was headed nowhere and only had a little over three thousand dollars to my name. That shit wasn't going to get me by for long, and I could only laugh as my mother's prediction for my life had finally come true. She said I'd end up alone, but whatever. Life would be better this way. Who cares if I could never come back here? What was left here for me, jail time because of an asshole who deserved to die? That was never going to happen.

But it was actually kind of funny. Little Deklyne Heart had killed someone. I bet those bitches wouldn't feel so superior if they knew what I was really capable of.

And maybe after all they'd put me through I deserved to let them know.

Seventy-One : Dani

Four Months Later

I rested Chris on his pallet, but I knew he was too much of a busy body to stay put, so I put his baby gate up. I hated seeing him in that, though. It made me feel like I was keeping him trapped, but I needed to get things prepped for this get together. All I really had left to do was pour the chips in a bowl, put Hayley's cookies on a plate, and then put the mini sandwiches and punch on the table.

Before I could do all of that however, Gordon walked in my front door—without knocking or anything. He was in the middle of a random ass argument with Neila, and still without even acknowledging me, he walked over and picked up two sandwiches. I just shook my head and finished preparing the snacks.

I was too nervous to worry about them. All I was concerned with was having Alexis over here. We'd been talking on the phone for a while, and she was finally comfortable enough to come visit me again. I thought about having it just be her and me, but I think I was more terrified of that idea than she was. Instead, since I'd learned she was a little party girl, I decided to host this little get together and invite her and Tavaris.

The second Tavaris popped into my head, I remembered the cinnamon rolls I had still warming in the oven. Those had always been his favorite, so I figured it would be a good idea to have them. Who was to say they weren't a favorite of Alexis' as well? As soon as I pulled them out though, Gordon went right for them.

"Take your ass somewhere," I fussed and slapped his hand before pushing him away from the tray.

"The hell wrong with you?" he asked as Neila started pulling him away from the kitchen island.

"Go keep Hayley company," she told him, but he resisted her pulling.

"I want a damn cinnamon roll," he complained, and the look I gave him dared him to try that again. Neila just gave him a kiss, and he became completely distracted just like that. "I'd rather get your cinnamon roll, though," he teased her, and I laughed at the look of embarrassment on her face. Gordon laughed too, and tried to kiss her again, but she pushed him away.

"Go check on Hayley so I can talk to Dani," she griped. I still giggled at her, and she gave me the funkiest face as Gordon walked away. "Please do not laugh at him? He thinks that's cute and funny."

"It is," I told her, grabbing a cup to fix myself some punch.

"Joking about our intimate affairs in front of others is neither cute nor funny," she went on.

"What did you want to talk about?" I sighed through my question. It made no sense to argue back and forth when we could just change the subject.

"I wanted to ask how things were going," she said with her voice suddenly going soft. I stopped sipping to just look at her, not understanding where the seriousness came from. Her eyes even looked strange, like she was looking at me with pity or something. "Gordon told me you were in therapy now—" She cut herself off when I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "I know, Dani. He told me he wasn't supposed to tell anyone."

"Gordon!" I screamed slamming my cup down.

Neila grabbed me though to keep me from fully walking down the dividing two steps that separated the living room from the kitchen. "It was an accident. It just slipped out," Neila tried to plead his case.

"Slipped out my ass," I argued. "Gordon!" I called him again, and he just sat on the couch with Hayley in his lap and looked back at me as if he was clueless to what he'd done. "Come here, bitch!"

"Hey!" he hollered and slid Hayley off his lap. "Don't talk like that when you see her right here." He finally got up with an angry scowl on his face, but I didn't give a damn. He was finally bringing his ass over to talk to me.

"It got you over here, didn't it," I fussed, letting him know exactly how I felt.

"What you want, Danielle?" he asked, and I could tell his good mood was slipping away.

I, however, still continued to give not one damn. I told him—begged him even, not to tell anyone I was in therapy. I wasn't even a hundred percent comfortable with the idea myself, but more importantly, it was not his business to tell that.

"Why did you tell Neila?" I asked with a squint.

His frown got deeper, and he shrugged his shoulders. "Tell Neila what?"

"About therapy." His simpleness really got on my nerves at times. This time I couldn't keep my hands to myself, and I pushed to his chest.

His face revealed his guilt then he bit his lip, trying to appear either innocent or sorry. I couldn't tell which. "Uhh . . ."

"Uhh nothing, Gordon," He received another push, but he was about to get a slap if he didn't get himself together.

"Dani, what's the problem?" Neila asked, rubbing my back and still keeping up the pity act. "I actually think it's a good idea."

"I asked him not to tell is the problem," I explained to her while eying Gordon.

He just gave me a tight hug and kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry, baby. I really don't know how it even happened. We were just talking, and—"

"And it wasn't important to you to keep the shit to yourself, that's what happened," I grumbled and pushed him off. "Kiss my ass right now, Gordon."

"I said I was sorry," he told me defensively.

"And I said kiss my ass," I snapped back.

He probably wouldn't get it, but I was still sensitive about this whole thing. When people hear you're in therapy, they automatically label you as crazy or not able to handle your life on your own. I didn't want that label. I was already dealing with being labeled an alcoholic. I needed time to adjust to things before I would be okay with people knowing I was in therapy.

"Dani?" he called my name as if he was actually shocked that I was upset. "Dani?" he called again and touched my shoulder, but I slapped his arm away. He and Neila both took a pause because of the force I put behind it, and it took a lot to keep me from hitting his ass again. "Why you—" he started to say but shut his mouth when I turned to glare at him. At that moment, the bell rang, but still no one moved.

"I'll, uhh . . . I'll answer it," Neila finally spoke up and left.

Neither of us did anything until she'd let Terri and Brentin in then I just walked back to pick my drink up, and I could feel Gordon following close behind me.

"What was that? You was probably aiming at my face," he accused with a harsh tone.

"And if I was, so the hell what," I hummed in my cup.

"Danielle—"

"It was not your place to tell anyone my business," I finally flashed on him. "I confided in you. I trusted I could come to you and tell you something that was private to me—Something I didn't want to tell to anybody, I told to you," I fussed. "Then your ass go and let it slip to my sister?"

He hesitated awhile then wrapped one arm around my shoulder and made me rest my head partly on his chest. "Damn, baby." He leaned down to kiss my forehead, and I would have pushed him off if I was sure he'd let me push him. "I sorry," he said with a deep sigh. "I know you basically told me an apology don't mean shit to you right now, but I never meant to break the trust you had in me. You know you're my baby, and I would never purposely do anything to hurt you. I honestly was proud that you took a step like that without anybody suggesting that to you. Meg has your back and everything," he said, referring to my sponsor, "but this was something you probably needed."

I shook my head at his words and finally pulled away from him. "Yeah because if I'm not running to you or Meg to fix shit, there has to be someone else, right? I mean, Dani clearly doesn't know how to fix her own life."

"Stop talking that nonsense. No one is in control of your life and no one can fix your life except you." He stood next to me and rested his elbow on my shoulder. "All the positive that's happening for you is all because of you, and I'm sorry for stepping on your boundaries. I didn't think you should be ashamed of being in therapy, but I should have considered your feelings more." I just sighed and sipped more of my drink, and he nudged me a little. "You forgive me?"

I cut my eyes to him, and I heard him chuckle. "You really make me sick sometimes," I told him and walked away.

"As long as you still love me, I don't care."

"Gordon, just—Gordon!" I screamed at him when I saw him eating a cinnamon roll.

"Get some Kool-Aid made and hush," he ordered me with a stuffed mouth and walking back over to the group.

I cussed him, but I chuckled too. For the next half-hour things were light and fun. Gordon was giving Brentin and me a hard time: me because I'd just started working as his assistant, and apparently I wasn't amounting to his standards; and he got on Brentin because he and Terri had moved in together.

After a little while longer, I played on the floor with Chris and Hayley, partly to keep myself from checking my watch. I was starting to worry that Tavaris had backed out of our agreement to let Alexis come over then I started thinking that maybe it was Alexis who just didn't want to come over.

As if Gordon could sense my angst, he walked past me and dropped a few Werther's Original hard candies in my lap. I couldn't help but smile at his gesture and at the fact that he was still playing Captain Save A Ho. I was a little shocked that this method was still working though, especially with how oddly it came about.

After a few months of Alexis still not talking to me and other things causing me to want to drink again, I had a breakdown. As fate would have it, I had the breakdown in the middle of a grocery store. Like mother, like daughter, right? I can only thank God Gordon was there with me. He was always there, and for some jack-in-the-box reason this bitch ripped open a pack of Werther's and shoved a few in my mouth, and eating them calmed me down for some unknown reason. Now whenever he sees me getting upset, he gives me a few Werther's.

"But for real though, Neila," he said as he kept walking to fix himself something else to drink, "marriage is in my future."

I watched her after he said that, and after watching her frown, I wanted to punch him in the face. "Okay," she answered, clearly unsure of herself. "Marriage is nice for quite a few people. I think that's something you might like for yourself."

I tried to ignore her ditziness; Lord knows she still had miles to go and mountains to climb before she was able to start fully understanding emotions and feelings, but I was upset with Gordon for setting the both of them up for drama. He'd already talked to me on many occasions about wanting to ask Neila to marry him, and only because I wanted their relationship to make it, I told him not to say anything. I could count on one hand the times he's told me she ever said she loved him. Anyone with eyes could see she loved him, but she still had issues with expressing herself the way he wanted her to. I thought it would be a bad idea for him to rush something before Neila was probably ready.

"That's all you have to say?" Gordon asked standing next to her.

"If that's something you want for yourself, you should do that . . . for yourself," she told him without looking at anyone.

I could see how uncomfortable he was making her, and I was not in the mood to have to deal with him while Alexis was still on my mind. "Gordon, come here," I said getting up from the kiddies to go sit on the large round ottoman.

"What?" he asked guardedly, knowing I was about to tell him about himself.

"Just come here," I fussed, and he finally came to sit beside me. "Do you think she's going anywhere?" I asked, only loud enough for him to hear. He sighed and looked away from me because we both knew the answer. "Okay then. Stop rushing her. You steady giving Brentin and Terri hell because they're 'already' living together, but you want to marry Neila already?"

"We're grown, though," he tried to defend his position.

"Stop it, sweetheart. At least they're in a relationship where they can freely say they love each other." I knew what I was saying would probably piss him off, and he proved that with the look he gave me.

"Why don't you just stop talking for once?" He tried to stay annoyed with me, but something else working in his head was bothering him, and he put his head down and shrugged. "We love each other. I know how she feels."

"We all do. All I'm saying is work on getting her comfortable with confessing she loves you before you jump into marriage. All you have to do is hint at that shit and her ass shuts down. I know you don't want to ask her and then get your feelings hurt."

"Danielle, I'm going to need you to shut the hell up right now." I just hummed at him and rolled my eyes. "You're acting like I'm about to propose in a week. I just want her to know I'm thinking about marrying her, and she's over there acting like my future marriage plans don't involve her. _If that's something I want to do_ _for myself_ ," he mocked her. "The hell kind of shit is that?"

I giggled at that, but I knew Neila was just putting up a front. "Stop being sensitive. You already know how she is." He just sighed and held his head down again, and it bothered me to see him still so bothered. "Maybe you should put her in therapy and tell me all about her shit." I teased, and he twisted his lips up at me.

"What y'all over there talking about?" Brentin asked, throwing at Gordon the bear Hayley had brought over.

"We're talking about that bare ass apartment you're staying in," Gordon snapped back. "How long y'all willing to sleep on an air mattress? I know it be deflating every night."

"So you can cuss in front of Hayley, but I can't?"

"Oops. My bad, baby girl." He went to pick her up and sit next to Neila again.

"Seriously, you two should allow us to purchase a few things for your apartment," Neila suggested, grabbing Gordon's drink and finishing it.

"It's really okay," Brentin started. "We're not babies. We're building up our apartment together."

"All y'all got is a box TV, a small wooden foot stool—that y'all used to hold the TV, a microwave, two folding chairs, a ugly card table, and that sad little air mattress," Gordon listed, and Neila hit him.

"You should at least take your old bedroom set," she then urged, and Terri leaned back to rest on Brentin's chest.

"We have everything we need right now. Plus we're getting a bed in a few days, so all of you can just relax. Brentin and I know what we're doing."

"As a man—a grown man—ain't no way I'd ever be sleeping on an air mattress when family is offering to give me a bed," Gordon said, burning a hole in Brentin's head. I knew he was just trying to get under Brentin's skin, and when Brentin bit his lip, I knew Gordon was succeeding. "I mean even if I didn't want anything handed to me, I'd at least buy it from family because I definitely wouldn't have my woman sleeping on an air mattress. I wouldn't let pride get in my way." Brentin almost said something but caught himself, and Gordon laughed at him.

He finally eyed Gordon for a little bit, and I chuckled at the both of them. "You're lucky your daughter is on your lap," he told Gordon, and Gordon flipped Hayley on Neila, causing the little munchkin to laugh.

"Come here, Hayley," I told her as she continued to giggle.

Neila and Terri both cuddled up with their men to stop the silly antics between the two of them, and I grabbed Hayley's hand to take her to get more snacks. Before I made it too far from the couch, the bell rang. On instinct, I froze. I had a feeling who was at the door, and I couldn't help the nerves that flooded my system. I decided to just suck it all up, but I still held onto Hayley's hand for dear life as I made my way to the door. When I opened it, there was a long awkward silence that filled the air. I wasn't sure what to do, and it appeared that neither did either of them.

"Hey, Alexis," Hayley finally said waving at her. "You remember me? My Daddy was supposed to take us to Micky's, but he didn't," she said with a frown.

"It's Mikey's," Alexis corrected her in a low tone. She was clearly nervous.

"Oh, Mikey's," Hayley nodded. "You want me to see if he'll take us?" Alexis looked up at Tavaris, and he looked to me with a look asking who Hayley's dad was.

"He's over there," I said looking towards Gordon, who was deep into a kissing session with Neila. "Now doesn't seem like the best time to get to know him, but once you do, you'll see he's okay. Still it's up to you if you want Alexis spending time with him," I told him, trying to let him know that I respected his feelings.

"We'll talk about it later," he finally said to Alexis.

I stepped to the side and took a deep breath. "Well, come on in."

Tavaris stepped in, nudging Lexi a bit then he kissed me on my cheek. I hated seeing Lexi still so apprehensive about being around me, but I didn't want to push her. I knew first hand that wouldn't help the situation, but I wanted to make her feel comfortable. I knelt down in front of her and lightly touched her hand, but I forced myself to give her some space.

"You want to go in the kitchen with me and Hayley to get snacks?" I tried to keep the nerves out of my voice, but that was a lost cause.

She hesitated at first, but she did nod. I finally smiled at her and took a chance to give her a kiss on the cheek. When I stood up to walk her and Hayley to the kitchen, she grabbed my other hand, and for the first time in a long time I felt like my life was finally starting to come together.

My sisters were both happy and in wonderful relationships. I'd never seen either of them as happy as they've been in the past months. There was a change not only in their emotional states but their mental states as well. They weren't the same people before, and that was such a beautiful thing.

As for me, I'd found someone who wanted only the best for me and would go through great lengths to make sure I was okay and happy, yet he wanted nothing in return. I'd never known that before Gordon, and I knew there were no words I could ever tell him to let him know how much I appreciated him, even when he stepped way past the damn line.

I felt like a new woman myself. I wasn't angry anymore or trying to drown my pain in a bottle. Like hell I was free from all of my issues, but I was getting better. I hadn't touched alcohol in nearly five months; I'd asked Chris' father for joint custody instead signing over my rights; I'd finally gotten my ass a job instead using my body and rich men to take care of myself; and now I was rebuilding my relationship with Lexi. I was truly blessed, and never again did I want to take for granted all that I had and all I could gain.

However, how the hell could I forget Deklyne's ass? Not one of us had heard from her in months, and to say I was ecstatic about that fact was an understatement. I knew damn well the reason there was such peace now was because she knew not to bring her ass around us anymore. I knew forgiving people was something I needed for myself, but that was one bitch I never needed to see again in order to even think about forgiving her ass. As long as she kept her distance, we'd be just fine.

"So that's your baby daddy?" Gordon whispered to me, breaking me from my thoughts. He was watching Tavaris with a frown, and I just laughed at him. He was not about to try and give Tavaris the same hell he gave Brentin when they first met.

"Grow up and leave him alone," I warned him, but I still chuckled at him.

"I'm not doing anything to him," he frowned, shrugged, and looked from me to Tavaris. "I'm just saying, dude don't even look like your type."

"And what's my type?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest and leaning on the counter.

"Dani, that dude is a goober." I laughed hard at his bullshit, and he chuckled too. I knew he was serious though, that's why it was so funny to me. "You're laughing because you know it's true."

"You don't even know him."

"Whatever," he huffed and grabbed another roll. "Let's just hope baby daddy number three is better than your first two."

The laughter and smile left me so quick, and I slapped the roll out of his hand right as he put it in his mouth. "You really should learn when to keep your damn mouth closed. You think I'm some fertile bitch out here just looking for niggas to get pregnant by?"

He watched the roll as it flew across the kitchen then laughed at me. "When did I say that, sweetheart?"

"Go to hell, Gordon."

"Only if you come with me," he said and grabbed another cinnamon roll.

"You really are a bitch ass nigga," I fussed soft enough so the girls wouldn't hear. They'd been watching and giggling since I'd knocked the roll out of Gordon's mouth.

After I fussed at him though, he came over and pinched the hell out of my cheeks. "You always look so cute when you get mad," he said and kissed my nose. I cussed him and tried to push him away, and he kissed my nose again. "I'm about to go see what's up with your goober."

I couldn't help but laugh at him, but I held him to keep from leaving. "Gordon, I told you to stop it. You're not about to mess this day up for me."

"I'm just playing with you. Don't be so dramatic." He turned on his heels and went to pick Hayley up, and he grabbed Alexis' hand. "Come on, ladies. Let's go enjoy ourselves."

I smiled to myself as I grabbed the tray of cinnamon rolls and followed behind them, and I had to admit that I was thankful that Gordon's annoying ass was here. He wasn't going to allow me to stress for long, so I knew today was going to be a success. Hell, I didn't want to jinx anything, but I felt it wasn't just going to be one successful day. We we're all in here doing the sharing and caring thing, and no one was even thinking about causing drama. We were all happy, and finally moving on. Terri and Neila had their men, and I had my Chris and Alexis. As far as I was concerned we'd accomplished the impossible, and I didn't know where our stories would take us on down the road, but I was sure we were finally headed in the right direction.

### The End

Thank you for reading Queen of Hearts. I really hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please feel free to leave me your review at your favorite retailer.

L.D. Raye

About the author

L.D. Raye has been writing for quite a long time, however, Queen of Hearts is the first novel published by this author. Currently L.D. Raye is in the process of earning a degree in nursing while taking care of her family.

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