Hello, I'm German and I bet you a shirt that when you bathe, you get wet.
Subtitles by LilaBHolder.
"Studies and School"
Hi.
Before we start I wanna tell a joke.
Once upon a time.. Ostrich.
After that amazing joke,
let's start with this week's topic.
"Studies and School"
What is studying?.
It's what you should be doing now instead of watching this video!.
And what is school?.
It's that place where you enter like this:
Kill me!.
And come out like this:
Freedom!!!.
School is very different when you're little than when you're a grown up.
For example when you were little,
you asked your mother for help, and she did.
Mommy can you help me with homework?.
Yes of course, son.
How much is 2+2?
4, darling.
Thank you mommy, you are so smart.
But when you grow up, and go to college.
Mom..
Yes son?.
 What's the square root of 465 divided by the hypotenuse of 224 cubed?
Who is the one studying?!
You or I?!
But mom!
Shut up!!
Going to school is very different if you're a guy or a girl,
and you can see that in the tiny details.
For example, this used to happen in my school.
if you were a girl,
and you left your seat to ask something to the teacher,
and you left your notebook on your table,
your girlfriends took it,
drew flowers in it,
little messages,
hearts,
and blah blah..
but if you're a guy, you stand up and leave your notebook alone,
when you come back, the only thing you see in your notebook,
are a bunch of drawings of:
PENISES.
I spent all year with my notebook full of penises.
Girls draw flowers,
Guys draw penises!
Can you imagine if Picasso went to my school?.
The breeze in my face..
The heat of the sun entering my pores..
Everything is so calm..
I can feel how inspiration comes to me..
I'm prepared to paint my next masterwork..
I will paint... a penis.
Probably Picasso wouldn't have been the same.
In school you discover the worst of yourself.
We notice we're sons..
of our mothers.
Let's say one day you go to school,
you run into someone and they say:
-Hey German, did you find out?
-No, what happened?
Our teacher had an accident.
That's awful, and how is he?, is he alright?.
Yeah he's stable but he's in the hospital.
Oh that sucks, we should go and see him later to see how he's doing.
Yeah.
Ok, that's what SHOULD happen,
but what REALLY happens is this:
Did you know that our teacher had an accident?
Yeah they told me he's gonna be in the hospital for like a month.
Vacations!!
All of us are going to hell.
One of the most important things in school is studying.
No, really.
And it's VERY hard.
I could never memorize the chemical elements.
But I know the names of every Pokemon.
Well done brain.. well done.
Like I said, studying is really hard.
Ok! today I'm gonna study all day like my name is Jorge!
But your name's German!
That's right.
And it's normal to get frustrated.
Send everything to hell!
I don't wanna study anymore!.
I better become a porn star.
A student's life has very bad moments.
Like for example,
All of them.
Nah, but it does have!.
For example, like when for some strange reason you did study for a test.
And your teacher either doesn't go or doesn't give the test.
And ALL your study is worth for nothing.
And then you suddenly feel like hugging your teacher.
Very VERY tight,
take her,
get your hand inside her mouth!,
take her intestines out!,
put them in a bag!
and send it to the Chinese for them to feed their dogs!.
But with love.
And like that's not enough,
there are more frustrating moments.
Like this one:
How did you do on the test?
Good, it wasn't so difficult.
Ok, what did you get in exercise 11?
There was a question 11?!
Yes, in the back side of the test.
There was another side?!
Yes, and it was a double grade.
Like there are moments where you want to throw yourself against a cactus,
there are also good moments,
tiny moments of pleasure that come once in a while.
Those little pleasures of life.
There's nothing more beautiful than hearing your alarm in the morning,
and noticing THIS:
Mom, I don't wanna go to school..
Son, today is Sunday.
It's beautiful.
Well, If school has anything good,
it's that it helps you being organized,
you HAVE to be organized
I did a rhyme!.
For example, if someone asks you what day it is,
In school season, it would be something like this:
German what day is it?
Today is Friday, April 12th.
But when you're on vacation.
Hey German, what day is it?.
No fucking idea.
Anyways, studying requires discipline.
And no, you can't buy that around the corner.
I asked already.
And the best way of having discipline is by being organized.
Divide your time well.
For example.
An hour to eat,
an hour to play Xbox,
and an hour to study.
Perfect!
But sometimes you lose track of time.
Ok, I'll play Xbox for an hour and then I will study,
because I want to be a professional and I have a very important test tomorrow.
I have to study to take my family out of poverty,
I have to lead them, they all depend on me.
My entire future depends on this test for which I need to..
Shit!!.
Question!!
At what time do you go to bed?.
I generally go to bed at like 1.00 AM.
Well, if you're in college you probably don't even sleep.
Which is good.. Freddy Krueger will never kill you.
Aw, cute.
Aaanyway.
This was this week's video, if you liked it please click Thumbs up, down here.
If you click it I wont upload the video that I took with the camera I installed in your shower when you weren't looking.
If it's the first time you watch one of my videos a you liked it, subscribe!, I upload videos every friday.
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And Twitter.
A psychological hug and a psychological kiss.
You're so, so..
You smell so good.
My god..
Ok, if someone entered your room while you were watching that,
it must have been awkward.
Bye bye!!.
I should grow up..
Nah..
