 
The Mirror

By

A J Harvey

Published by

A J Harvey at Smashwords

The Mirror

Copyright 2016 by Angela Sharp

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy; recording, or any information storage and retrieval system now know or to be invented, without the permission in writing for the publisher, except by a reviewer who wishes to quote brief passages in connection with a review written for inclusion in a magazine, newspaper, or broadcast.

Table of Contents

Description

Prologue

Reviews

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Biography

Description:

This book is a journey that will be different for every one: a personal, insightful adventure that can grow your spirit and feed your soul. It is a fusion of adventure and contemplation, written to be both uplifting and thought provoking. It explores life, relationships, acceptance, intuition and the importance of being you, along with other insightful and inspirational thoughts such as the Tapestry of Life and the Understanding of the Soul. It enables the reader to take from its pages as little or as much as they want to support their own life's journey.

Whilst writing this book, I often wondered about my ability to be the one to convey all that is written within these pages. I didn't set out to write a book, nor did I know that this was what I was meant to do. However, when the words just kept flowing from my pen to the paper, it felt like they were being given to me to pass on to others. I was being helped to use my life experiences and difficulties to bring wisdom for others to use if they wished to do so. 'The Mirror' was down on paper within 6 months and I was ignorant enough at the time to think that it was finished. It has actually taken 3 years to complete and to be what you have before you today. I felt compelled to write these words for you and wanted them not to be prescriptive but more about planting seeds of thought that may enable you to bring out the best in your life and, along the way, grow your soul to become the best you can be. This book is part of my life journey: I hope it can be part of yours.

Prologue:

Angela was delighted with her purchase from the local auction room, a large floor-length antique mirror. She had waited a long time for one so magnificent to grace her house but little did she know that the Mirror had not come into her home by chance: another world awaited her.

As she is getting ready for work one morning, a voice from the mirror called her name. Angela turned and in the mirror she saw an elderly women smiling back at her. Slowly, they engage in conversation, she discovers the elderly lady is called Miriam, who says she has waited a long time for the right moment for them to meet. Miriam encourages Angela to walk through the mirror to be with her and, after some moments of hesitation tinged with fear, she takes a leap of faith and steps through the mirror. The room she arrives in is warm and comfortable and Angela feels surprisingly at peace as she sits down in a chair opposite Miriam. A cup of tea and a handful of golden dust later, they start the journey they are destined to take together. They become good friends, sharing laughter and their understandings of life and they travel by land and sea to places Angela has never seen before. All they need for their journey is provided for them: no one else is around but who is looking after them? Caught up in the wonder of it all, the journey for Angela becomes one of self-discovery and growth of spirit and, for Miriam it is food for her soul.

Reviews:

"The Mirror beautifully illustrates some important lessons for us to learn about being human in our world. I found the book uplifting and thought provoking and the ideas within it represent a shift that could start to make the world a better place"

Dr Vikki Barnes

Clinical Psychologist

'The Mirror prompted me to look differently at myself; thought provoking, containing intrigue and depth. An enjoyable novel written with a story line, combined throughout with very deep thoughts in belief and values. An excellent read!'

Lois Clarke

Public Sector Worker

'I was really taken by the way my imagination and interest was caught right from the start, part of me was a child again on a fantasy journey. There was learning and wisdom to be taken and digested page after page.'

Jill Abbott

Counsellor - Psychotherapist

THE MIRROR

By A J Harvey

CHAPTER ONE

The frost was glistening on the fields and the air was still and very cold, any exhaling of breath made cloud shaped mists that floated off into the distance. I stood there a while, taking in all that surrounded me, whilst waiting for the car windows to defrost. I had tried to scrape them, but today it was just too thick, so I started the engine, put on the heater and watched the ice slowly melt away. Everywhere I looked it was like someone had scattered diamonds whilst I slept and now the morning light danced on them, and it made me feel that this would be a good day. Little did I know that this day would be like no other I had ever experienced in all of my 53 years on this Earth.

The car now clear, I went indoors gathered my things and decided to quickly use the bathroom: the cold played havoc with my water works so best to pre-empt any problems in this area rather than have to address them in the rush hour traffic. I loved my home it was warm and friendly: natural light flooded all rooms and made it a very special place to be. I had been here for three years now: the village was friendly but also allowed you to have your solitude, if that was your chosen way. I valued this, as for a while now I have felt more in need of solitude than company. As I walked up the stairs to the bathroom, I passed the large floor mirror, which I had bought at one of the first auctions I had been to. It stood so grand against the auctioneer's wall, its gold frame somewhat tattered in places but beautiful all the same: deciding that this would be the item I would bid for, I took my place in the audience and waited. I had never been to an auction before; a childlike excitement flooded over me, butterflies had danced in my stomach and all felt well with the world. Every time I passed this most beautiful mirror on my landing, I remembered a special day and recalled the joy I felt when the hammer went down and the auctioneer said, "SOLD to the lady at the back; number madam please?"

I had just had my usual glance in the mirror and was nearly at the bathroom, hand poised on the doorknob, when I heard a voice say "hello": I looked around and could see no one. Again this very gentle voice said "hello." "Where are you?" I replied, wondering why I was talking to thin air. "Move to the mirror." a voice replied. I stepped back and all I could see in the mirror was my own reflection I decided that I may be having a 'senior moment', all be it early on in my years. But just then the person in the mirror beckoned with her hand for me to come forward. Now I knew I was having some sort of episode, as I had not moved an inch. I shut my eyes, shook my head, then slowly opened them again and my reflection remained. I went to touch the mirror and my hand disappeared in the glass. Immediately, I pulled it back. As the glass returned to its normal position, I gasped and stepped back as far as I could without falling over the banister.

Now I knew I had gone mad, but then this gentle voice said, "Hello Angela, will you come with me please?" "Come where"? I asked "In the mirror with me" "Seriously?" I said rather sarcastically. "Yes" was the reply. "I want to walk with you through your life so far. You have faced many burdens and learnt many lessons and the time has come to show you how well you have done". "Then you can take what you have learnt and pass your insights onto the rest of the world". I stood there staring at the mirror, and the image I faced now is not one of me but of an elderly lady, gentle in face and small in stature, with a smile that touched my inner soul.

"Ok let me get this right you want me to walk through the mirror, spend time with you and discuss my life with you?" "Yes" she replied. "And you are"? "I am Miriam". "Well, Miriam, as nice as it is to meet you, I have to say and forgive me for this but this, all seems unreal. How can I step through glass? And why should I want to re-look at my life, especially with a stranger, no disrespect meant?" "None taken" she said. "Oh lord, I think to myself. What am I doing? I am talking to a woman in the mirror and I am actually, if I am to be truthful, thinking about walking through the mirror to meet her. This sort of thing happens when you're having a breakdown; perhaps I am stressed, tired and overworked?" No, you're not", says Miriam. "Not what?" I reply. "Having a breakdown." "How did you know what I was thinking?" Miriam replies with a wry smile on her face, "I am an old soul and I have travelled the earth plane many times and learnt many lessons. I am able to do many things now I am in spirit". "Ah... now it's clear: you're in the spirit world, of course you are and I am going to join you there". I say with a hint of sarcasm in my voice. "Yes, my dear, and if you don't mind me saying, could you come soon? We have much to do".

Standing there, I wondered if I'd get back. "Yes" Miriam says. "Please trust, as you have trusted when your times on earth have been dark and you felt like all hope was gone. Trust as you trusted then and walk through the mirror to me". I listened to these words and start to recall some of those times and how my faith and strength had carried me through: stepping through a mirror and meeting Miriam should be a breeze. "Ok, Miriam: how do I do this?" She holds out her hand and says, "Just step forward and reach for my hand, as if you are walking through a doorway". I take a deep breath, move forward and lift my foot and take the biggest step of my life so far. In no time at all, I am standing next to Miriam in a large room with comfy chairs aged with use, warm coloured curtains and a pot of tea brewing on the table. "Welcome Angela" she says, "I have waited a long time to call you here. Please sit and we will begin: tea?" "Yes please: white no sugar, thank you". As I hold the cup I wonder what journey awaits me, and a small ball of excitement lights up within me.

Miriam sits opposite from me, she sips her tea thoughtfully and looks at me through azure blue eyes: I have never seen such beautiful eyes with such clarity of colour. We both sit in silence; I wrap my hands around my cup, a beautifully shaped cup with delicate and intricate patterns all painted with all the colours of the rainbow. The rim I sip from is made with the thinnest china I have ever seen and makes the tea taste all the more special. I immerse myself in the moment and don't think anymore of how I got here and why: it just feels so right to be sat here with Miriam. I can't really explain more than that, apart from saying I felt like I was home. It was Miriam who broke our silence and asked me to help her move a table from the side of the room where we could both see it. A majestic looking table with carved animals, stars, suns, moons and symbols that I did not recognise. It was small in height and had three carved but chubby legs and angels wrapped their wings around them in effortless curves. Once again, we took our seats opposite each other, the table now in the space where we first stretched our legs. Miriam produced a velvet pouch. She reached inside and, in the blink of an eye, scattered golden dust over the top of the table. As the dust settled, the following verse became visible:

The paths of life spread far and wide

They ebb and flow just like the tide

Awake, young soul, prepare to grow

For in you, there are seeds to sow.

Miriam said that this verse was the beginning of our journey together, a journey that would begin to prepare me for the task I had been sent to earth to fulfil. "You must know something about me" I said "I have often questioned the meaning of life and believed that we all have a reason for being here". Miriam nodded and placed the golden dust back into the velvet pouch. "I know much about you and your search for answers and I know the task that has been set you, the one you agreed to undertake when you offered to be born to the human world". I looked at Miriam "Well, it would be helpful for me to know. I can't remember agreeing to anything, and you say I had a choice if I should be born or not. How does that work?" Here began our dialogue about life.

LIFE, four small letters, yet all of humanity can be explained within this small word. Miriam talked about life as a journey where each of us has our own path to travel; an on-going journey of self-discovery. "Tell me what you understand of life" she said, "I am here to listen and to guide you". I began. "I don't remember what I agreed before I was born and I surely don't remember in having a choice to be or not to be born. But I do know that my life has taken me to places where I have experienced pain as well as happiness and I have developed an understanding of life, which I will share with you now".

I do believe that we all have a reason to be here, a job or task to fulfil, a purpose and a plan. There has always been something in me that said 'You are here for a reason, Angela'; so I have tried to look for that reason as I have travelled my life path. "Meeting you, Miriam, has now confirmed this but until now it was only speculation and faith that guided me to find what it may be I was sent to achieve whilst on this earth".

I believe that we are born to the right family for the right reasons and that the situations we experience are part of the road to take us where we are meant to go. I have not come from a life where I have sailed through my days to be where I am today. I have not always been so understanding and accepting of what life has given me. I have, though, come to understand from great reflection over many years that everything that occurs in our lives comes with its own lesson encompassed within the experience: something that will grow our personality to move us towards whom we are meant to be. If we do not listen or understand what we are meant to learn, then the lessons will keep being repeated, but the intensity will increase and experiences can become more difficult to deal with, delaying our growth and ultimately stopping our full potential being reached.

Sometimes it has taken a major event in my life for me to change course. Miriam sat forward and looked with warmth in her eyes and said "We have seen your troubles and burdens that you speak of and I can assure you that they were necessary for you to be sat before me now; "However, it does not mean that we did not care for you. We have always cared for you: sometimes you have just not believed it". At this point my eyes filled with tears, as many things had been hard for me. Miriam was right: I would not be who I am today without such experiences. I explained that I now listen much earlier and find that I am moving more smoothly down my life path. I now understand that we all have lessons to learn and we all play a part in helping those we meet to learn their lessons, as they do us. From the parents we are born to; from our sisters, brothers, friends and foes; there begins a mutual life learning-experience between all of us souls living on this Earth.

Our busy lives mean we walk blinkered through our days here on Earth, missing vital experiences and encounters that could have the potential to change our lives. Our experience of the world we live in comes more through possessions, wealth, technology and status: it would not be sensible to say that as a human race we should not have advanced, nor do I advocate that we disassociate ourselves from modern advancement in the future. There is, however, a part of human existence that needs advancing just as much, if not more, than the commodity-driven world in which we live. If the human race is to reach its full potential, we must now begin to understand and develop our knowing of the soul within all of us.

Miriam once again moved forward in her seat: at these moments I stop, as I take this as a sign that she wishes to speak. "You rightly speak of the inner soul. Many do not know of its existence or they have forgotten. But, for the survival of our world, it is vital that they are reminded of the soul within". "How can this be achieved"? I asked, "Are you thinking this is my task here on Earth, the reason I was born"? "We will see, you will see: for now, please continue. You are recharging my soul while you speak". Miriam once again sat back in her chair and I continued.

I see our souls as our inner eyes, and I believe that many have them closed, for they do not recall or remember the soul within. With them closed, we live, experience and see such a small part of what is such a miraculous life. I want to say to people 'Stop, just for a moment, and think about you: how you are alive, how you breathe, walk and talk, in fact, how you do everything!' You may just realise how special you are and how absolutely amazing you are and what a miracle life is and that it has been given to you. Our time on this earth needs to be nurtured and embraced, but it has to be worked at. By that I mean, 'grow your soul', awaken your inner life and thread the tapestry of your life, so you become who you are truly meant to be.

Our lives exist in a vacuum of moments, seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks and years. It is possible to lose the excitement and wonder of the world in which we live by not taking a moment to look, I mean truly look, at the miracles that take place all around us every day, every second. Look sometime into the eyes of a young child and see the wonderment and excitement within: full of eagerness to learn and understand, to explore and play and to be happy and content. Obviously, the world does not always provide an environment for all humans to experience these things but I do truly believe that there is a moment in all lives where, if we look inside us and feel, joy is given to all humanity and sometimes in the smallest of happenings. But we have to look not just with our eyes but also with our souls. We need to remember wonder and excitement, to begin to understand the miracle of life. Only then will we begin to use wisely all the moments that are presented to us every day and realise that they go to make up who we are and who we can become.

We all think we have an abundance of time but we don't, not on this earthly plane. The human race has gone to sleep in many ways: time has become a tool that controls our lives. It implements a structure within which we function: we cannot ignore it, as it has been intricately woven into the existence of human life, no more so than in the 21st century. We have breakfast time, dinnertime, and teatime, time to wake, time to sleep, time to be at work; I could go on but I don't have the time! Our western world has placed time in place of intuition and listening to ourselves, our own clock within. Of course, we can't just discount time; the world would find it impossible to function, there would be chaos. We don't have forever: we need to wake up to that fact and to act now towards living a more fulfilling life. Consider the following questions: What if the bird you see flying in the sky is the last time you will see this? Would you look more closely and take time to see? Would you wonder at the miracle of flying?

Look at the things you do or see every day: do you appreciate them? Ask yourself some questions as above: what are your answers? This is the beginning of really understanding the concept of time through the ability of seeing. Every drop of time we are given should benefit us and, by being able to experience the wonders of the world and see the miracles that are around us everyday, we will begin to use our time more effectively. If we can open our souls to the beauty of the world, we will see things as more vibrant and with a newfound clarity and begin to reconnect with ourselves, our true selves. If you can do this in some small part of your day, then not only will you begin to feel happier, have more energy and be more positive, you will feel the benefit inside and radiate this out to those around you. It will be like a 'domino effect' of positive energy, your contribution to the world, not only enhancing your life but the lives of those around you.

I understand the difficulties and the reality of the world in which we live. I have experienced some of them but, with each difficulty, I have tried to learn a lesson to explore my part in the chaos. I am not oblivious to the poverty, destruction and sadness in this world but I believe that if each individual can awake and see the beauty wherever they are, then however small, this will have a positive effect which could lead to the development of a collective soul, which could change the lives of many and bring hope for the future existence of our world.

I sat in silence for a while, wondering what Miriam was thinking or going to say. She got up from her chair; "Tea my dear"? "Yes please, white no sugar". I relaxed in the comfort of the old armchair and felt quite exhausted, I never realised just how much I had learnt from my reflections on my life: it quite surprised me. I was eager to hear what Miriam thought, but she was a woman who would not be rushed and she was deliberate in her actions, so patience would need to be embraced. I thanked her for my tea and wrapped my hands round the delicate china cup that so pleased me, both in look and feel.

"You have reflected well on your life so far and have gained many valuable understandings, this is just the beginning. If all I ask you is answered with such depth of feeling and understanding, then we are nearer to opening the door to your task here on earth than I envisaged". She smiled so warmly that I couldn't wait for the next subject she wanted me to talk about. Miriam placed her cup on a table beside her chair and asked me to move mine and she reached for her velvet pouch of golden dust. Once again she reached inside and scattered the dust over the table, and while doing so she said, "All I wish to add to all you have said is written in the golden dust I spread before us". On that note it settled and a verse became visible:

Loving life, embracing change,

In everybody's life there still remains

Far reaching worlds not yet explored

Enlightenment's mine; what is yours?

I smiled at Miriam and we both sat back enjoying the silence between us and contemplating the next journey we would take together.

CHAPTER TWO

A bell rang and interrupted the silence, removing me from my thoughts. I looked across the table and Miriam was not in her chair. Standing up, I could see a warm golden glow coming from one of the windows towards the front of the room by an old wooden door. I walked towards the door, lifted its large twisted metal handle and pulled it towards me. A sudden rush of warm fresh air enveloped my senses and I stepped outside to find Miriam standing by a large pond where dragonflies danced in the sunlight. I walked towards her waving and calling "Hello" Miriam turned, and with a warm smile she beckoned me to her side.

"Hello my dear, sleep well"? "Er... Yes thanks but I didn't even realise I had gone to sleep" I replied, gently adding "I hope you did not take offence. I must have felt tired after talking to you about my understandings of life". "None" was Miriam's reply. She gently placed her arm within mine and we both turned to watch the beauty of the dragonflies dancing their dance. "You need to watch with all your being to truly see the beauty that is before you" said Miriam. I agreed with her and for a while longer we watched the dragonflies hover, dance and create ripples in the pond as they skimmed the water with their colourful bodies.

As before, Miriam reached for her velvet pouch of golden dust, and suddenly the air was filled with it. As it fell it caught the sunlight and became even more magical. I watched it fall and the following verse was written on the surface of the pond:

Wake up, Wake up, begin to see

The world and all its wonders given to you and me

There's nothing to lose and all to gain

So let's get started and don't refrain.

As it disappeared from the surface, ripples emanated from the centre of the pond. Miriam turned to face me "Let's walk together through this beautiful place. Tell me your thoughts on the miracles of life". Before we left, Miriam turned to the pond held out her velvet pouch and the golden dust lifted from the pond and returned to the pouch. She tied the tassels at the top of the bag and replaced it on her belt. "Now, where were we"? She said, "Ah yes, the miracles of life. Shall we begin"?

I walked with Miriam in silence, and for a while struggled to begin a conversation on the miracles of life. Not that I did not see them in my ordinary days but they seemed insignificant in relation to what I had been experiencing since I had walked through the mirror and began my time with Miriam. As if sensing my difficulties, Miriam turned to me and said "Everything can be seen as a miracle if it is seen through open eyes". At that point I looked into her eyes and knew that I had much to discuss and replied "I have learnt that hardly anyone stops for a moment in their busy lives and looks at what truly surrounds them in the world that they live"

There are so many miracles of creation on our planet and right on our doorstep. You do not have to travel to begin to develop a wonder and excitement within your heart: you just have to look and see the everyday beauty that surrounds you. Life moves fast in western society: we are motivated by the need to fill our days with endless tasks in and out of work: to collect possessions and make as much money as we can. It is these things that make us feel that we are successful and have achieved in our lives.

I sometimes get the impression that human beings feel that if they stop, look, listen and take in some peace, that they feel they might fall apart or feel unfulfilled. This saddens me because this type of hectic existence stops people appreciating all the wonders of our planet. We do not gaze anymore at the surprisingly simple aspects of our life, such as flowers, trees, birds, hills and mountains. But it is these things that can brighten your day and fill your heart with wonderment, bringing excitement back to your soul. These moments nourish your inner self, which can radiate out to others through your eyes and your smile. We do live in a wonderful world with so many opportunities, with so much life around us. What a waste, not to enjoy all that creation has given to us!

Of course, it would not be right not to acknowledge that in parts of the world there is suffering and the planet rages environmental wars many times, causing devastation and, sadly, the passing of human souls. At these times, if we can open our inner eyes and see with our soul, we may be able to see that there still exists beauty in devastation, such as the kindness and courage of others who give their time to help those in need. There is opportunity in chaos, such as the collective thoughts and support of individuals that have come together to rebuild, redevelop communities and build stronger relationships. Beauty at these times can not only be seen in some remaining standing tree, flower or the sun shining through on a sliver of calm water but in the human touch of compassion, support and love that can bring people together. This is an amazing planet and, if you look, you cannot help but see the beauty and wonderment in all things, as well as the sadness and sorrow, but in everything the human soul can and does shine.

I recalled when I first started to make a conscious effort to look at the things that surrounded me. I took time to look at the hedgerows, the flowers and the flight of birds, to name just a few. These were the things that surrounded me. But wherever you are, wonder will be close by: even in the middle of an urban area, in the architecture, the colours, the smells and the people. The more I took time to look, the clearer I saw things. Flowers proudly displaying their blooms, parading their vibrant colours: their movement in the wind becomes a dance of great delight, showing me that not only are they living things, just as I am, but that they are amazing creations which we all too often just take for granted. The next time you are near a flower, look closely at its construction and you can't fail to be amazed at this miracle of life. The more I studied them and took notice of them, the brighter they became. I felt connected to them, part of their world, as they were part of mine. Wonder and excitement grew and I began making a point of stopping and enjoying nature's offerings as many times as I could. I still continue to do this in my everyday life, and this enriches my soul, my inner life and makes me value and cherish each and every day I am alive. In the midst of a world struggling to make sense of itself, understanding that we are all part of creation; living at one with the sky, the Earth and all that is around us; that everything, human, animal and vegetation, has the same right to be here: helps in building a link to all creation that occupies our amazing planet.

If you can clear your mind of what ties you so rigidly to western society norms, then the real beauty of human life will begin to embrace you. This takes time, it does not just happen; it has taken me years not only to be able to do this but to believe that it could change my life. Has it? Yes: I do see more of the beauty that surrounds me now but believe that my eyes are still not fully open. I have yet more to learn and to appreciate, so I can reach my full potential and fulfil who I am meant to be. When I see a flock of birds swooping and flying in formation, such as small birds over the fields and hedgerows, I wonder at the miracle of flight. They fly with such precision, in time and place together with speed and grace; they swoop and rise in perfect timing. The wonder is not just their ability to fly but to fill the sky with an aerobatic display that is second to none. These sights bring me such joy that sometimes I will 'cry out' with sheer delight when I see them and as I do, a surge of immense happiness engulfs me. At first I felt quite strange, wanting to express myself like this; the expression through sound was quite alien to me. But now it is just natural and, each time it happens, I feel such a strong connection to the universe and a sense of being alive. It is as if we are linked on some higher level and their movement somehow lights up my inner life. I feel the movement with them and delight in the freedom they exhibit as they fly through the air. It is all about allowing and enabling a connection to begin.

I hope you can find delight in nature's creations and, whatever way you embrace the joy you see, enjoy the wonder before you and your whole existence could begin to change! You could feel like you have never felt before; you could see what you have never seen before; you could be who you have never been before and it could lead you to become who you never dreamed you could be.

The earth has a way of just being and providing for us, to a point where we take things for granted. The life cycles that exist in nature are truly amazing; all interlinked, each an element of an existence providing for another to ensure its continuation on this earth. However, it is well documented that species have declined, become extinct and there are those that are in trouble today. It would not be appropriate to talk about the wonders of the world without giving a balanced view. This time I sat forward and looked at Miriam. "I find this difficult" I said: she looked enquiring at me and asked why. "Well here I sit and discuss the beauty of the world knowing that within the world there also exists war, starvation, drought, poverty and many other humanitarian problems; as well as natural disasters that occur, time after time, destroying the lives of thousands." "How can I ask people to find the courage to look beyond all this to see the beauty that I believe can be found in all lives?" "You are not asking them to do anything, just planting a seed of thought that they may choose to grow or not. It is their choice." She continued "It is true, man has created endless difficulties for himself and change has to occur but it won't, unless new ways are learnt. You are not dismissive of reality, nor uncompassionate for those less fortunate than others but by speaking as you do you offer to those who wish to take it a different path to walk." Said Miriam. Her words of wisdom comforted me and I continued.

I do not advocate that, if we open our eyes and see things clearer, we will change all that goes on in this world in an instance: it will take time. The earth is a living entity, it is larger than any of us and at times reminds us of this. It is able to change the weather, the tides and the landscape and sometimes this can lead to sad losses within our human society. It is a reminder of how small we are in the grand scheme of things and how precious our lives are. This is one of the reasons why we need to wake up; we are part of creation, a miracle of existence, but we are also becoming part of its destruction. Why? Because we have forgotten the miracle of life: we have displaced the growth of our soul, the inner light that shines within us; our technological advances have far out-stripped the growth of our human souls, limiting our ability to enjoy our planet and all it has to offer. I believe that the reactions of our world, whether they come in the form of natural or man-made disasters are all messages from the planet to us, which we are not hearing anymore or, even worse, are hearing but ignoring. The Earth is tired and needs to be rejuvenated and that can only begin when we start to realign ourselves by understanding all that we are and all that we can become. What we do as a race will always affect the planet; if it is good, then there will be positive consequences; if bad, then the planet will respond at some point with a negative reaction. But I cannot sit here and say to you that a volcanic eruption is not an amazing event; that a tornado, as frightening as it is, is not amazing in the way all the elements come together to make such a phenomenon. I could go on but I just wanted to make the point that, although these events can cause devastation, there is no getting away from the fact that the planet on which we live is amazing. We are amazing too but, just as the planet can impact on our lives, we can also have an impact, individually and as a collective, in both positive and negative ways on the world in which we live. And just as the earth could eventually destroy the human race, we as a human race could eventually destroy the earth.

We need to wake up, to cherish the land that feeds us, and the atmosphere that enables us to breathe. I don't think that this is possible until individuals begin to notice once again all that our earth offers us on a daily basis. This will take time, but it is my belief that we can change our destiny. Firstly, it will be as an individual looking within, finding that inner light, that soul. We all need to begin at the beginning by nurturing and seeing what is right in front of us, the most clever and intelligent eco system ever to be created, that which we call Earth. There needs to be a collective awakening to all the beauty and the simple pleasures that are all around us, but which seem to have been lost along the way. It is my belief that this approach could bring about a tidal wave of change that would have a positive effect on all of the planet and those that inhabit the earth.

So, please begin to notice the bug: the flower: the wind in your face and a smile in the rain. Neither you nor I can change the Earth's destination on our own, but we can change our experience of our life. We can make it more vibrant, more exciting and more fulfilling. We can begin to see the colours that surround us, the cleverness of the bee; the beauty of the robin; the flowers that bring such delicate blooms and the seasons that come and go. Smell the freshness of a new world that surrounds you and pass your experiences onto those around you! These will be the moments that will start the change that is needed, so that all who live on this Earth, wherever they may be, can begin to have a life filled with possibilities. Unfortunately, all the inequality in the world will not change (each person's life is relative to their own place on this Earth) but what we should all strive for is to ensure that each individual is able to have equality of choice (relative to where they are in the world), for choice is freedom and freedom brings joy and joy fills the soul. Begin your journey today and become who you were born to be!

I turned to Miriam, tears rolling down my cheeks; she took her arm from mine and wiped them away. "Are you sad?" she asked "No, they are just tears of joy for when I talk about what I have learnt in my life so far and feel how much it has given me, I feel blessed." She smiled. We had walked for what seemed a long time and we were now in a beautiful green glade, a gentle breeze was rustling through the trees, Miriam gestured to a seat by a river and we sat for a while. The river moved with gentle pace. Tethered to a small jetty was a rowing boat and somehow I just knew that this would be where our next discussion would take place. To the right of the seat was a table set for two, with fresh and vibrant produce waiting to be enjoyed and enjoy it we did! I didn't realise how hungry I was or how much I truly enjoyed talking to Miriam. We laughed and talked for what seemed like hours.

"Your life burdens have brought you great insight: are you grateful for them yet"? said Miriam "Grateful is not a word I would use. It has been hard and I still resent some of them at times, especially those that will stay with me for my life here on earth. However, by looking for answers within the burdens I have encountered, I have unlocked a part of me that I would never have known existed if it were not for them being in my life". "And for that I am truly grateful". Miriam gave an approving nod.

We headed towards the rowing boat, helped each other in and I looked around for the oars. "There aren't any". a voice said in my head "Aren't any what?" "Oars" said Miriam out loud, "We don't need them, if you have moved along your path as far as I think you have: we just need your soul to shine through and lead us to where we need to go". "No pressure then," I laughed. At this Miriam dipped her hand in her velvet pouch and threw the golden dust in the air. It hovered above us and revealed the following verse,

Bones and flesh encompass me

They present me for the world to see

Once the inner soul begins to shine

The world's then touched by one so fine.

The verse read, the golden dust returned to its pouch and we pushed off from the shore. "Tell me more about your understandings of the soul, Angela," said Miriam.

CHAPTER THREE

I see the soul as being the centre of our being. Our body envelops the soul to protect it from harm. We are amazing, yet we, myself included, do not often stop and wonder at who we really are and how we work; how our bodies are designed to interact with our environment, our planet and how they are both interlinked. We need the atmosphere to give us life and in turn the planet relies on our ability to treat it with respect to ensure that it is able to maintain the human race and all living creatures that inhabit our Earth. It can be said that we have a co-dependant relationship that has over time been forgotten in many areas of our existence and the development of our human world. As we breathe, so does the planet breathe; we are both living entities. Just as we need food, water and shelter to survive, the planet needs trees, water and sun to be able to provide for both itself and us, the human race.

I believe that our Earth also has a soul, an inner life, and we are the protectors of that soul in the same way that our bodies protect our souls. The more we neglect ourselves inwardly and continue to rely on material gain, economic growth and abundance, the more we influence negatively the survival of our planet. To be precise, we do not feed the soul of the Earth because we have forgotten to look within and feed our own souls with what they need, such as understanding, peace, acceptance and love. We have lost our understanding of what a soul is, what it can achieve and the important role it has to play within each and every one of us. Until we as individuals can grow our own souls and then come together and build a collective consciousness that can begin to support our Earth, then we cannot begin to change the fate of our planet or begin to realise our full potential or fully experience the miracle of life.

Your soul is your inner life, the light that shines within you; it is the part of you that links your spiritual being to your earthly body and it is my belief that to become who you are truly meant to be, you need to grow your soul. There is a spiritual element to this discussion around the soul but I do not believe that you have to hold strong faith to develop your soul. You may find your faith along your journey but it need not be there to start the first step on the path to growing your soul. You could say our souls are linked to the universe, some people feel more comfortable with this rather than the word 'God'; use whatever you feel comfortable with. I personally hold spiritual faith in the universe and, if it is God at the head of this, then I have no problem with that. The main thing is that you have faith. When faith begins to grow, what name you give it is up to you but you will feel it inside and from this you will begin to grow your own soul.

When you begin to take notice of your inner self, your soul, I believe that certain things could begin to happen. You could feel more at peace; you could see things differently. Others may sense your calmness and react differently towards you and a beginning of self-discovery could start. It is an exciting time; it can open many doors if you let it. Nourish your soul through words, kind acts, kind thoughts and healthy living and it will blossom. With such nurture and attention, you will feel like you are being massaged from the inside out. A 'soul massage' would be a good way to describe the process. At first it may be difficult, as to start the process you need to give yourself some time each day where you can reflect. Be alone with your thoughts or think nothing. Clear your mind, as those who meditate do. Begin to listen to that which is inside of you; as you progress with this aspect of growing your soul, you may begin to sense answers or even questions to situations within your life. Your soul is your friend, the real part of you that is born like a blank canvas to be written on in your lifetime with opportunities and experiences that come your way. They will be good and bad, as life will not always be fair: that is the way of the world. Your soul is here to learn and grow and you are the physical guide that will lead this growth, but to be able to do this you have to develop your inner knowing, your understanding of your soul and the path that it needs to take, so that you can both become all you were meant to be whilst on this earth. It is my belief that we all come to earth with a purpose, lessons to be learnt and questions to be answered. We are not aware of this purpose; we just believe we are here to live our life. But there is more and your soul is your guide: feel it, embrace it and encourage it to lead you to your destiny. This inner life you carry does not require complex things or complex nurture, just simple things like kindness, mindfulness, peacefulness, being listened to and spiritual nourishment. It basically needs you to take care of it, to nurture its talents and in turn it will nurture your body and your mind, for a healthy soul makes for a healthy human being. It all sounds easy but it isn't. You have to truly want to acknowledge your soul and begin to understand your inner self to enable it to grow so that it can support you in becoming at one with yourself. It doesn't mean that you can't be materially successful or have abundance in your life, or aspire to be successful, but by growing your soul as well, it will mean that you will radiate goodness into the world. You will have the true experiences that you are meant to have and you will be given the strength to deal with situations that may come your way. For all the human race, their individual experiences will be unique to them; we all have choices and, depending on the choices we make, is where the next road appears that we have to walk on. Your soul will not demand, nor tell you where to go, as you were born free and with freedom of choice. If your soul grows within you and you listen and feel, guidance will be obtained to inform the choices of your life.

By neglecting our souls and distancing ourselves from spiritual understanding, we are losing sight of our role to protect, nurture and grow the planet on which we live. We have lost touch with our spiritual growth and developed our western world on commodity-driven societies, to the detriment of not only the planet but also the third world. Life will never be equal, it is not meant to be that way, but we all do have a duty to protect the planet so that it can provide for all the species that inhabit it, wherever they may be. It needs a collective approach and not the individualistic approach that has been forthcoming from the modernity of the western world. We have to understand that what we do as individuals here will at some point affect someone else over there. The development of the collective consciousness (all souls coming together to support the planet) needs to be a priority for all of us, to ensure that the resources of the planet can continue to provide for us all, both now and for generations to come.

If we are, as I have suggested, protectors of the soul of the Earth and we have not or do not grow our own souls within, how can we develop the insight and the solutions to mend the physical world we live in and our planet Earth? It is important that each person begins a relationship with his or her soul. Many have already started on this path, some are further along than others, but the path is wide and is ready to accommodate more, for on this path is where the collective consciousness will grow and begin to change the course of our world. The soul is powerful. If grown within a person, it can change a life; if grown as a collective, it can change a lifetime. If we all nurture our souls, then in turn we will, by changing our ways, our thinking, our expectations, our wants, our needs and our desires, build our faith and come together and be the collective consciousness that will protect the Earth. Just as our soul will protect us if we love, care, feed and nurture, listen and respect it, we will protect the Earth's soul through the protection of resources, development of peace and a collective understanding and unity of cultures and respectfulness of faiths.

This sounds immense, enormous and an impossible task, but don't forget, one revived soul can touch others who will touch others, so give it a go! The first main difference you could see will be in you and for you. I do believe that we can build a collective energy that could change the future of the world in which we live and for generations to come. I believe in you; reach for your potential and believe in yourself!

As I said this last sentence I jumped up in the boat and it rocked from side to side, Miriam sat completely still with no expression and certainly no fear of the boat turning over, (which I have to say I felt was a possibility at this point). I slowly sat down and waited, listening to the water lap the side of our boat as we continued along the river. The boat began to slow and move towards a small jetty, which was engulfed by a rainbow. The colours shone like I have never seen before. We moved slowly forward and then stopped just at the perfect moment to disembark from our little boat. I found myself being helped out of the boat by Miriam; she had jumped out onto the jetty as quick as a flash and as supple as a youngster.

Miriam gestured to the path ahead and we started to walk towards some woods. As we got nearer, I could see that there was a cabin situated on the edge of the woods and smoke was coming from the chimney. A welcome sight as I was tired, and the temperature was beginning to fall. As I looked at Miriam, far from looking tired she appeared to have a bounce to her stride which I had not encountered before and she looked younger and fresher in the face. The open fire greeted us and on the table the tea was brewing. I looked at Miriam with questioning eyes, as there appeared to be no one else in the cabin. She just smiled and gestured for me to sit down "White with one sugar dear", she said. "Yes please. That would be very welcome".

I embraced my tea with both hands and sighed at the comfort it provided me. "A mirror you walk through, a boat with no oars and a cabin with a ready made fire and warm tea: it is all beginning to seem a bit like a dream" I said to Miriam. She looked up from her cup and with that knowing smile that I was becoming to love said, "Well, if you truly grow your soul, then you will know that all you need will be provided and if you find your faith, then anything is possible". We both returned to our tea and once again sat in comfortable silence with each other. Warm soup that had been cooking on the stove when we arrived was now ready, which we were grateful for: so with a good deep bowl and a chunk of newly made bread we ate well. The night was pulling in by the time we had finished our meal, the embers from the fire gave a warm glow and I laid my weary body down on one of the beds and drifted off to sleep.

I woke at dawn and Miriam was already busying herself with the fire and breakfast. As always, we ate well: warm porridge and excellent tea would set us up well for our next journey. Once finished, Miriam said "It is time to go into the mountains now, a place where you can look back as well as forward". She handed me a rucksack and a blanket made of many different threads and colours, "This will keep you warm and safe if you use it wisely". At this point she wrapped her blanket around her and headed for the door, I stood with my mouth open for her blanket lit the cabin up as if it were a rainbow. She turned, smiled and said "Tell me about your understanding of the Tapestry of Life, Angela". With that, from under her blanket she threw her golden dust into the air and as it settled on the floor before me the verse read,

Take words from here, understandings too

Adapt them into whatever you do

For the one who weaves in light and love

Hears the guidance from above

Just as I was about to close the cabin door the golden dust flew past me and once again returned to Miriam's velvet pouch. As the door shut and I followed Miriam towards the mountain path, I began talking about the 'Tapestry of Life'

CHAPTER FOUR

I had heard the phrase 'Tapestry of Life'; I didn't take much notice of this at the time, until I was attending counselling some years later when I heard the phrase again, along with the 'weaving of your thread'. The thread is your life's path and the tapestry is the picture that emerges as you move through your years here on Earth. It is made up of your experiences and the choices you make in your life, a pictorial representation. However, it is not physical: you can't hold it in your hands but you can build it in your mind and learn more about you. This process can be quite difficult, because you need to go back through your life and remember; reflect and understand what has happened; why it has happened and what you learnt from it, if anything. It is an honest and frank look at who you have been, who you are now and how you may be or want to be in the future. Your thread can weave your picture, either through chaos or through you mindfully leading its path, as the thread is the choices you have made and will make in your life. It does not happen overnight; even when you understand the concept, it takes time and mental energy to look at your life, the choices you make or have made and where they have taken you. Many people will also influence your thread, as you will influence theirs, for none of us stand alone. We are all affected in some way by the interaction we have with other people, and those people by others in their lives, and so on and so on; it is an intricate process, for no one weaves their thread In isolation.

My tapestry is very big. I have woven paths that are dark, which I can only assume also had negative effects on those around me. Being aware of the cause of things that have occurred in your past can't take away the pain that was felt at the time or that you still carry with you, but what it does do is enable you to look at where you went from that moment in your life. You are able to explore the options and choices you took, giving them a link in your life to who you are now. I found and still find this a very calming and cathartic process and through this process I have taught myself to forgive but not to forget. This is a very important philosophy to adopt and a very difficult one, but I have managed to accommodate this into my life. It enables me to make clearer choices in my life and for the right reasons, because I do not make them in haste, anger or for revenge.

I now look at the words 'forgiveness' and 'forget' in a different light. When we forgive someone something, then there seems to be an assumption that we have to forget. I thought that forgiveness led the way to the disappearance of the act and completely wiped out that which someone or something had done to you, as if nothing had happened. I used to adopt this view and did not forgive, for fear it made me accepting of the act, devaluing myself in the process. Because of this I carried anger inside me for long periods of time, which affected my life choices, the paths and doors that opened up to me, and the development of my personality. It also affected the thread that I was weaving because, now I have better understanding of my tapestry of life, I realise that you can weave different coloured threads and at the time in my life where my forgiveness was very small, my thread was very dark in places, producing my life's path under shadows. This was because I held anger inside which affected my judgement and my presentation to the world. The interesting part for me was when I finally began to understand what was happening. I realised that I was the only person from the situation that was still holding anger inside. All those involved had moved on and they had no idea I was still harbouring anger for their actions. In fact, the only person who was continuing to be hurt was me and not only inside my soul, my inner life, but in my day-to-day existence, because my choices were clouded by anger and resentment. This was transferred onto others by my actions and therefore many other people's lives were being affected. So, by forgiving those that we feel have neglected us, done wrong to us and hurt us, we really give ourselves peace within, which will have a positive influence on our future days. To forgive but not forget gives you back control over your life and that in turn supports healthier decisions, based on what is good for you, not what is destructive to you.

Forgiveness enables you to be more open to channelling calmer thoughts within you because you can look at a situation with clarity and understanding and discover solutions within you to deal with what you have experienced. I have begun to apply this to some of my past experiences and it is beginning to enable me to look at things more clearly, why things may have been as they were, why others have been as they have and also why I acted as I did, for I have also hurt people through anger before. It has led me to being able to start the process of forgiving myself and see that many things were not my fault and, where the fault was mine, I have been able to adjust the part of me that reacted in such a destructive way.

To say 'I forgive but I do not forget' is brave, there is no doubt about it, and it is not something you just decide to do. Many human souls have been hurt, destroyed, abused and neglected so much that the level of pain goes so deep. For such deep hurt, to move towards this way of thinking is one of the bravest and most difficult things to do, but I believe it can be achieved over time by taking it one step at a time. This may involve the help of others to support you on this path. It could lead to clarity, it could return control to you and you could then feel free to make your life choices and begin to weave your tapestry in threads of orange and yellow, a brighter future for you to behold.

As I reflect more and understand my tapestry, I find myself growing tall and I see those that hurt me in a different light. I understand that their choices were their choices; I do not have to feel responsible for them. I acknowledge the anger and pain that they had held within, which led them to do as they did. It is not my role to change their path; only they have the ability to do that. But what I do know is that when people start to forgive, there is more softness in them, more ability for them to open themselves up to needing less control in their life; leading to the building of closer relationships which allows them to change their tapestry of life and to thread with brighter colours, with brighter days ahead. It is amazing and a sight to behold when someone is released from anger. The ability to talk for the first time with clarity about that which caused them pain and who caused the pain provides the beginning of a way forward to understanding yourself more. If we can begin to understand who we are, then we can begin to walk towards who we were meant to be. It is a journey within our journey, one of discovery and forgiveness for us, one that brings light into our lives, which will touch all those around us. A world where souls can grow and open their inner eyes could enable all to behold the beauty of our planet and it will be another step towards the collective consciousness working together to support the Earth to weave its tapestry too.

By not forgetting, we learn to respect ourselves. It is not right that other humans are able to inflict devastation and pain in our lives; we need to build self-respect. By remembering in a calm way, we give ourselves an insight into how we should not act and how we do not want to be treated again. From reflection, we can hold within us knowledge about the signs we need to recognise to protect ourselves in the future. This can make us gain insight and build on our intuition. So, overall, not forgetting is a positive experience, a positive thread in our tapestry against the negative experience of not forgiving.

Our tapestry of life does not only get woven through our struggles and sorrows, its threads come also from our happiness and joyfulness. These threads are the colours of the rainbow that intricately get woven with love and tenderness. The joys of the world are many; we can choose to walk the paths that will enhance who we are and support us to become who we are meant to be. A child being born, the sun in the sky, the smile on a face, laughter in the air and the blue sea at the shore are joyous things, along with so many more. You will have your own things in your life that will make you happy; as you experience them and think of them, imagine that your tapestry is growing brightly in your life.

Visualisation is a good technique. I have adopted it many times since I started to understand and embrace the concept of the tapestry of life. I really don't know what it looks like, if it is supposed to resemble anything particular, so I hold in my mind a storybook with pages filled of my life. As we all have free choice, the vision of your tapestry can be anything that you want it to be. My tapestry pages are based on years: each page represents a year and I look back and think about what colours would have been woven when. Were they bright, and if so why? Were they dark, and if so why? What length of thread was used and when did it change in thickness and colour? By reflecting on my experiences visually, both good and bad, I can begin to build a picture of my life and see what impact there was on me, as well as my impact on others.

My tapestry is now much more colourful, the thread I weave is like silk, whereas it has been like twisted rope before; well, that is how I have visualised it. Once again it has taken me years to be able to think and act as I now do, with many good choices in my life path leading me to meet the individuals that I am meant to meet to ensure that I move towards who I am truly meant to be. I am not perfect, and I do not have all the answers, and nor would I presume that I do, but I have developed certain ways and understandings that have helped me look within myself. This has been life changing for me and I hope that, by sharing my thoughts and the understanding I have developed, you may be able to take some of these and adapt them to your life; and open up your own wisdom that fits your own life, which you can then share with others, so they may be able to look within and change their tapestry of life.

There is so much potential in each and every one of us at all different levels of life. Everybody's tapestry will be different: some will never leave the dark thread, some will move in and out a complex pathway of all colours, dark and light, and some will weave in gold and silk all their lives. None of us are meant to have the same tapestry, all of us are unique and equality will never be on this Earth. The human species would not survive if we all had the same. But what I do believe is that we should all have equality of choices, which are relative to where we are born on this planet.

We need to grow our intuition, our ability to recognise signs, which lead us to the right choices, and I believe that the 'tapestry of life' can begin to assist us with this. For nothing is more powerful than seeing where you have come from and understanding how you have got where you are. It may be that we really don't like what we find, but if we don't look, then how can we see where we need to go? I look back on stages of my life and some I am ashamed of, some I am sad about and some I am happy about. I can see how my actions changed my tapestry and also how others have woven the colours for me by their actions. There are times when the actions from me on others have caused my tapestry to blacken, but with the knowledge and insight I have developed, I am able to forgive myself, which is one of the most freeing experiences I have ever felt. Nobody ever gets everything right. We all do things, which we wish we had not, but as long as we can begin to understand and look to find reasons why and learn from our actions to become a better person, then we will learn to forgive, not only ourselves but others too. Our tapestry of life will become intricate and colourful and we will be able to experience life more fully, more gently and contribute positively to the growth of the collective consciousness that walks this earth.

By this time snow had begun to lightly fall: I wrapped my blanket tightly round me and walked silently with Miriam towards the shack just ahead on the mountain path. Miriam's blanket glowed and made you feel warm just by looking at it: it was if she had a bubble of protection against the elements placed around her. Strangely, there were parts of my blanket that were comfortable to be against more than others; more warmth radiated in certain areas, which I tried to stay within. I struggled to maintain full body warmth and longed to be in the shelter of the shack's four walls, for I had faith that in there I would be given what I needed.

The shack was basic, unlike where we had been before, but it was out of the wind and I was grateful for that. There was a small stove, which we lit with the wood that lay beside it. The only real light was Miriam's blanket. Food was what we had carried in our backpacks. Miriam opened her blanket out and its radiance filled the shack and the warmth from it kept us warm until the fire could take over. Our comfortable silence was short this time; Miriam broke it by explaining that she had listened to me and my explanations of the tapestry of life and she would like to add to this from her own experience. This was exciting for me for this was the first time she had really given me insight from her, rather than just listening to me. I sat, in anticipation. "Your knowledge is far above what we had expected and for that we are truly grateful. You have learned well and we gain strength in knowing that the choice we made many moons ago was the right one. But yours is a lifetime journey and I am here to help you with this stage of growth and for that I will show you the tapestry of my life". With this she spread her blanket on the floor before me: no longer was it a blanket but an intricate woven tapestry, full to the brim of colours that danced and played with each other, a symphony of life before me.

"Like yours" Miriam said "it was not always bright and warm. It took hard work and courage to learn to love myself and make choices in my life that supported my soul's development. The relationship you are building with yourself is leading you to where you are meant to go: the one you are building with me is so that you know you are on the right path". With that, a tear dropped from her eye and she gestured for me to look at my blanket. As I turned, there were more areas that were light and colourful than there had been when I left to walk the mountain, Miriam picked it up and wrapped it round me: it was warmer than before.

I slept well that night and woke refreshed. Miriam made tea and beckoned me to the window; the sun was shining, the sky azure blue and ahead the mountaintop where we would end this part of our journey shone in the morning sun. Miriam turned and smiled and said "Tell me about your understandings of relationships, Angela". With this her hand reached into her velvet pouch and the golden dust was thrown on the floor before me and as it settled the verse read,

Within there lie unopened doors

A whole new you to be explored

Bring forth yourself both bold and true

And build a relationship with you.

The golden dust lifted from the floor and returned to its velvet pouch, we shut the door, headed towards the summit and I began to talk about relationships.

CHAPTER FIVE

Relationships exist between humans and nature; they are complex and can change the course of your life. They can influence, they can harm, they can subdue, and they can bring joy and love. There are so many elements to them, it is easy to think that they just happen; that there is no plan, you just meet the people you meet, you are in the places you are just because you are, and you have what you have in your life, just because you do. I believe that we go where we are meant to go and meet whom we need to meet. Sometimes people stay in our lives for a long time, others just come and go. There has been much written on synchronicity, serendipity and coincidences: you can read the texts that are available on these subjects, as I have done; I have linked some of what I read to my life, which led me to have more insight and understanding about my life so far and how it may have been influenced by such circumstances. Sometimes, though, you may have to go back a long way before you understand why a certain person entered your life, why a particular relationship formed and how that supported you in getting where you are today. Reflections on past relationships, people you have met and places you have been enable you to look at the outcomes of these and what influence they may or may not have had on what you do, where you are now and who you are. There is a power to relationships, which we don't often acknowledge; we just accept them as part of our everyday existence.

Our relationship with nature is vital to ensure that our planet can continue to support us and we in turn can support our Earth; and the relationship you can build with yourself, your inner life, and your soul is just as vital. If you knew yourself more and had more understanding and clarity about who you are and what you want and where you want to be, it could enable you to make more informed choices. But to build a relationship with 'you' can feel quite strange, and when I decided to build a relationship with myself, I found it quite difficult. I started by putting some time aside on a regular basis, as I needed to learn how to listen to my inner self in a way that was respectful and not dismissive. I needed to tune into my thoughts and begin a conversation with myself. I suppose it is a bit like meditating but instead of clearing your mind, you invite thought in. What I have found over a period of time is that I have become much more aware of my surroundings, my life, the way I am being, my reactions and my achievements. Whilst practising this, a change took place within me, leading me to having more control over who I am, what I would like to achieve in my life and what I would need to do to achieve my hopes and aspirations. This all came about because I began to understand myself, to see how my actions could either help me achieve my goals or not. I started to gain control over me: rather than just reacting to everything around me, I became more responsive. This has changed me. It has made me more reflective and accepting of where I am because I feel I can move myself forward now, if I work with the support of my inner self. Of course, I do not and cannot stand alone but I am able to make informed choices because I listen to my inner self.

I wanted more control in how I came across to others; I wanted to feel calm in myself, and to feel at peace when interacting with others. I have found that by connecting to my inner self it has helped me to be where I am today. It doesn't mean that you lose your spirit or your enthusiasm; it just gives you the ability to put your ideas and thoughts across in a more measured and assured way. It is not easy learning to listen to yourself: having conversations with yourself through your thoughts is a life long experience. We are not here to be fully-grown within a specific period of time. We need to learn that life is a continuous path and that we are always growing. How much we feed this growth depends how much we become our true self. Conversations with me are guided by my faith. The understandings I gain and the answers I get provide me with direction and encouragement to become who I am meant to be. If you don't hold faith, that's ok too; I don't care where you think the words, thoughts, feelings or signs come from, just as long as you listen when they come.

Everyone has the ability to have a relationship with his or her inner self; in fact, it is necessary for the future of our planet. If we can all begin to awaken our consciousness, it will guide us towards being more fulfilled, and we will develop a greater understanding of life and obtain the ability to embrace more fully the wonders of the world. We can and will build a collective consciousness, which will only be fully achieved by the development of the human soul in each and every one of us; a relationship with yourself forms the building blocks for your soul to grow. If we can begin to feel more at one with ourselves, then we may see more, feel more awake and fully embrace all that life has to offer us. I do not advocate that we become an individualistic world but in order to come together we first have to know ourselves as individuals before we can begin to link positively as a collective. This is enormous and will probably not happen in my lifetime but it has begun and needs to continue. So, take time, listen to your thoughts and see what they say and where they take you, start a relationship with yourself and see where it leads; you may just get a great surprise.

This can start with one human being, just one individual and then another and then another, until there are more human beings with relationships with themselves than there ever have been before, leading to a level of true knowing that can be used and joined together as a collective consciousness to support our relationship with the Earth. By developing a relationship with yourself, it does not mean or imply that you stand-alone or do not need others; it actually means that you will develop an awareness as to who you are and this will enable you to meet others who are necessary for your future development. They will support you towards your destiny, as you will support others who you will meet. To know yourself is to release your true potential, which will guide you along your life path and build your tapestry of life.

We live in a world ravaged by war, hunger, natural disasters and inequality of power. This will not disappear overnight but there must be a conscious move forward by the human race to re-look, re-evaluate and re-educate the powers of the world, the few who believe they can answer for the many. If we don't begin to see how interrelated all things on this planet are, we will continue on the road to destruction. Everyone and everything can link to all things; nothing can stand in isolation, for it will not survive. The Earth also makes choices; it is a living entity. Its choices come from our actions, it reacts to us as a species and therefore we must change and show the Earth a new way forward.

The world we live in is fast, furious and sometimes it can turn on us through the power of nature. The planet does have a way of placing us back in situations where it hopes we will begin to re-think our strategies. It wants us to re-think our relationship with it. Some do: there are movements that see what is needed but the shift needs to come from more people. We need to ask ourselves what do we want, where do we see our children in the future, what do we want for them and what do we want for ourselves? The human race was not born bad, there is goodness in our souls and most people want a safe planet, with opportunities and peace in the future but to achieve this you need to ask yourself what you can do to make a difference? You will answer yourself but will you truly hear the answer? It is my belief that we must all develop our ability to listen. We have to want to truly know; if we do, then the answer will be given to us and, if you feel like I did when I truly heard, then you could begin the journey towards freedom and control towards your destiny. Your one voice will touch others and the collective spirit will begin to be re-charged. You will begin to make a difference, not only to the future of the world, but also to you. For you will begin to experience life as it was meant, one of compassion, enlightenment and peace. I know this sounds idealistic, but it doesn't mean that I don't believe that this can be achieved. What I do question is; does the human race want to achieve it?

Relationships in this world come in many forms. When we are empty inside, angry and sad, we can develop unhealthy relationships where violence, substance misuse, obsessiveness and hatefulness can grow. We look to belong in places where there is anger, sadness and sorrow: these relationships hold souls in a place where they can't function and exist. For these inner lives to shine through again takes courage to be able to confront and look inwards, rather than outwards for a solution. I have experienced such times and have been to places I should not have gone and understand the courage that is needed to start such journeys. I believe that help is all around and listening to your inner self can lead you to those that can show you the path to reach a different place than where you are now, if that is what you want. Everyone has choices, some more than others; we can only make a difference in others' lives; for we can't change them. It takes them to change, as it is their path, not ours to walk. Developing a sense of self through building a relationship with yourself enables you to accept yourself for who you are and it can help you find your reason for being. For me, the ultimate reason for being here is not complicated but simply to know love, to know happiness and to know life. Building that relationship with yourself, looking inward and listening to what you hear from within can be quite amazing.

Our relationship with the earth needs to change, we need to understand it more, respect it more and learn to use its resources more effectively. If we continue to need technological advancements, faster cars, bigger houses, higher paid jobs etc., then our planet will continue to fail; this is not radical science, this is just fact. You can only get so many apples from an apple tree in its lifetime before it will stop producing, if it is not fed, watered and cared for appropriately. It will not be easy to give up on our lifestyles or our wants or our needs, because this is our culture, a culture where the need for more, for the newest as well as the need to have it now, is paramount. But to change this culture, is one of the enormous challenges of the 21st century.

I know that I am not able or virtuous enough to give up all of my luxuries, my wants, my needs and I still aspire to be more successful in my life. But I am slowly developing and choosing those things that can make a difference, realising what is important to my life, my relationships, my future and my love for those around me. This understanding has come through the development of my relationship with me, my growing understanding of my impact on others and the planet. Acknowledge the power of relationships; the power of love; the impact positive and negative influences can have, not only on individuals but the planet and the whole human race. See who you are, listen to what you already know within your soul, let it rise up within you and see the difference that can be achieved! You will be surprised, you will be amazed and as always the main difference you will feel will be with you. But just imagine if a difference of thought and mind was made by many; what could the collective change make to the world in which we live?

There is responsibility in all relationships: be mindful of who you are: be mindful of what you bring to a relationship. Do not underestimate the influence you can have or the change of course you could support, for both individuals and our planet. But, mostly, be mindful of your relationship with yourself and never underestimate the power that the development of this relationship can have to change your life and who you are.

We now stood on the summit; the mountain range expanded as far as the eye could see and the beauty before me took my breath away. We stood in our usual silence that followed after I had told Miriam my understandings. I heard dogs in the distance Miriam sensed my discomfort, "Don't worry, they are for the next part of our journey," and with that we set off across the snowy plain to reach our shelter for the night.

"You have grown to know yourself well, Angela", said Miriam "Thanks." "It has not been an easy journey and I have yet much to learn, but it is funny, the more I talk to you, the more I feel that I am growing and learning more myself". Miriam turned to me and we embraced. We stood for a while and then moved on. "That's because you are refuelling your soul with the knowledge you have gained and it is preparing to show you more, so you may indeed begin to undertake the task you were sent to earth to fulfil" said Miriam. "And that is"? I replied, she looked at me and gently chuckled, her eyes sparkling and her silver hair catching the sun, "Whatever you choose it to be" was her reply.

At this point I felt agitated and was confused. "You said I had been chosen, I had a purpose to fulfil and that when we met and I talked to you about my understanding of life you said 'We', whoever that is, had chosen well". In a soft voice Miriam said, "That is correct, my dear, but you still have choice. It is for you to decide what you do with your insight and knowledge. You could fulfil your destiny but only you can find that. When I talked about choosing well, I meant you are someone who wants to find the answers. At no time did I say that I will give you them, let's get to our shelter for the night and we can talk more, but please do not distress yourself my dear, all is well". With that she put her hand out to me and we walked together towards our home for the night.

That night we were to stay in a cave in the side of the mountain. Outside was a sledge and, in a compound nearby, a set of husky dogs. Miriam went over to the dogs and they quietened down and she fed them, whilst I went a started campfire. It was a welcome rest place and I prepared some tea for us.

I lit some torches, which were around the cave, and they provided us with light for the oncoming darkness. We ate a basic meal and stood looking at the stars which seemed to be putting on a special show for us tonight. You couldn't help but feel your soul was being re-charged and new possibilities being opened up for you. It was a magical site to behold. Miriam took my hand and said, "See all those stars: each an individual one doing the best they can to shine in such a vast sky with so many other stars. Every one of them wanting to be noticed, to be special, little do they know that they are all special". She turned to me and smiled, "Earlier you felt distressed: you wanted to have the answer given to you for what you should do with your life, what your purpose and destiny is. No one has the right to tell you this, as you were born with freedom of choice, the most special gift that can have been bestowed on you. It is up to you what choices you make. You have chosen to come with me on a journey and share with me the lessons you have learnt in your life so far. From this may come new understandings for you, opening up new pathways, not only for you but for others whose paths you may cross as you travel through your life." "So, when you said that you were right to have chosen me, what you really meant was that I have taken all the experiences afforded to me and decided to understand their place in my life, which has given me the ability to grow my soul, enabling me to move nearer to reaching my destiny, my purpose in life. Therefore it will be me who finds my destiny and my purpose here on earth, by using all the understandings I have gained and by opening myself up to more that may be coming to me in the future" I replied. Miriam nodded with an approving smile and then continued to say "Like the stars, everyone is special and has the ability to shine, and for those that want more, then if they look close enough they will see they are given all that they need to reach their destiny if they choose too."

Miriam looked thoughtful, so I left her at the cave entrance and sat by the fire, reflecting on her words whilst watching the flames dance. "Your destiny can be anything". This voice announced in my head. "It could be as small as loving your neighbour or growing flowers for beauty or becoming an influential leader. Whatever destiny, big or small, each is connected and all have equal value to the world in which you live. It's when no one wants to listen or to grow his or her soul to reach their destiny, that is when the world will struggle to survive."

When I woke, the fire had been stoked and the tea made but Miriam was nowhere to be seen. I moved to the entrance of the cave and saw her getting the dogs ready to pull the sledge. We waved; "Tea" I shouted and a 'thumbs' up came from Miriam. After tea and a breakfast of warm porridge to help us on our way, we put the fire out, loaded our bags and headed out of the cave. Miriam gestured for me to get in the seat and she headed towards the place she could drive the dogs that were very eager to get started. Miriam then shouted to me "Angela, tell me your understandings of moments": with that golden dust fell before me and settled in the air to reveal the following verse;

Moments make a difference

Embrace them day-by-day

Notice just the simple ones

And your soul will start to play.

There was a crack of the whip, the golden dust flew behind me and we started off on our next journey. I wondered how I could talk to Miriam so that she could hear. "Think your understandings and I will hear". Came into my head. I had learnt to embrace all new experiences since I walked through the mirror, so I just started to think rather, than speak.

CHAPTER SIX

Every second brings a moment to our lives, which may have an impact on our future. To be able to see these moments or to feel them as we move through our day, we need to be more awake to who we are, where we are and what goes on around us and within us; this is what makes up our spiritual self. Moments, are not concrete, not possessions, but things that build memories, hopes of a better future, a feeling of excitement, one of wonder and amazement, such as the sun rising and setting every day, as well as those moments that bring sadness and difficulties. At the moment the sun rises, your life begins a new day with new possibilities. How often do we stop and either watch that moment or think about how it happens or even feel it happening through our senses? We just get up and start our day. But without this ability of our universe to provide light, where would we be? Just for once watch and breathe deeply while the sun rises. That moment will fill you with peace if you can let it in.

Our busy lives, fed by the needs of our 21st century and materialistic attitudes, cause us to miss many wonderful and inspirational moments that occur in our lives. Of course, there are moments, such as birthdays, weddings, celebrations as well as sad moments of grief and sorrow, such as funerals and loss: all these give us memories that contribute to who we are. However, I believe that we miss many special moments in our everyday lives because we lack awareness of life. It is my belief that if we begin to look at other moments in our lives, the brief seconds, minutes in our day, then we will develop our senses further, which will lead to us becoming more awake, more able to notice our environment and the world around us, which in turn may make us feel more alive and our priorities may change. The dawning of the day, the smile of a friend, the wind in our hair and the rain on our face will become moments that make us feel alive, make us feel joy in our souls and give us more understanding of the beauty in the world and how each day can make us feel special. For we are all special, and the more we 'wake up' and 'see', the more fulfilling our lives could be.

Consider snow; it is an amazing element of our world. It can cause disruption and sometimes trauma in many lives; this cannot be changed and is the same for many of the world's attributes, 'it is as it is'. But, just for a moment, begin to think of every snowflake that falls and its individuality – no snow flake is the same – now imagine how many snowflakes fall and cover our land at anyone time. For me, this creates wonder and amazement at the ability the world has to make such beauty through the delicate formation of snowflakes. When these have fallen on your face, glistened in the sun and provided a slide for all to use, have you felt the excitement of that moment and held it in your memory? Many of us have painted a snowflake or made one out of paper and been proud of our achievement displayed to all who will look. What if you stop for a moment and remember that our world creates these by the millions and each one is different; how does that thought make you feel? For me, it makes the hairs stand up on the back of my neck, it makes me smile and it makes me want to look more closely the next time I see snow.

We can experience moments through all our senses, sight, smell, taste, touch and sound, every day, every hour, every minute and every second. But how many do we notice in our busy days, when there is so much pressure to succeed, to make something of our lives and ourselves, to feel accepted, to feel we belong, to feel loved, the list is far from exhaustive and will be relative to who you are and where you are on your life path. We miss so many moments that could bring joy to our hearts.

I made a diary one day and tried to capture a day of my life, recording all the things I noticed, the times I felt happy, sad, at peace, alive and free, as well as the times I felt stressed, sad, rushed and agitated. I wanted to see what I noticed, what events were so real that I felt I could write them in my diary. At the end of the day I was quite surprised that what I had recorded read like an itinerary of times, schedules and meetings.

Here is a taste of that diary day; Drive in to work awful, parking nightmare, presentation went well, had quick lunch, late for meeting with Sam, dark when left work, had dinner, slippers on, watched telly, John called, arranged night out for weekend, then bed. As I read this back to myself, the first thought was 'Wow; is that what I experienced today: is that what filled my day, one of my precious days that I have on this Earth?' I decided to go through each statement and recall that part of my day. It slowly became apparent that there were things that had occurred which I had not written about, moments, which enhanced my day but did not get put on the paper. Was it because I didn't notice them? Was it because they were not important to me at the time or was it because I took them for granted as part of my everyday life? I hadn't, for instance, written that the sun was rising like a beautiful red ball in the sky as I travelled to work, the soft smell of fresh linen towels in the toilets made me think of spring and flowers blooming, seeing a friend at work put a smile on my face and the smile I received back gave me a warm glow and I felt cared for. Although it was dark, the sky was clear and, as I travelled out of the city, the stars provided a show as if in a planetarium that filled me with wonder of what the truth of the universe really holds. The food I ate was tasty and fresh; it fed my body and soul, and my slippers were warm and comforting and made me feel that I belonged in my home. Someone I really cared for had rung and wanted to see me to spend time with me so I felt special and I smiled, which filled me with happiness. Finally, my bed was soft, the sheets felt fresh and the duvet encompassed my body to a restful sleep. Reading that day and seeing all the moments I had really experienced, it became a good day to be alive and it enhanced my wellbeing.

All moments in our lives no matter how small are precious; not just the big moments, not just the happy and not just the sad, but all moments can have an impact on who we are and how we feel about ourselves. If we can awaken to the world around us, awaken to the lives we are building, awaken to all the beauty in the days we live, then we will become true to who we are, who we are meant to be and who we will finally become.

Many things in our daily lives become routine, something we just do; but I would like to suggest to you that by really embracing moments you can turn a simple act such as drinking a cup of coffee, into something special. Have you ever stopped and savoured with all your senses a cup of coffee, or, like me in the past has it just become a routine, a social event, something you just do? This is now how I experience my coffee times since I have begun to 'wake up'. Firstly, there is the aroma of the coffee in the cup; waiting for the water, it smells good. Then there is the sound of the boiling water embracing each granule and creating a warm inviting drink, then in goes the milk and your eyes see the colour change from dark to a soft and inviting colour. Your hands then embrace the warmth of the cup, providing comfort, peace and relaxation. The taste dances on your tongue, fills your mouth with wonder and slowly warms your body from the inside. Finally, there is the conversation with friends or time with yourself, your inner self. You can adapt the above to anything in your life, see how it feels – what does the experience now feel like? Our lives are fast paced, materialism is the goal, and capitalism is our environment. I am not saying that all this should go (I am a realistic person), but what I have tried to show is that, within this world, we let moments pass by which could enrich us on a deeper level, and provide fulfilment from so little; we need to be awake within ourselves to embrace these moments.

I believe that, when we begin to notice, we begin to open within us opportunities for personal growth which otherwise would remain dormant. Personalities can change; the good feelings within can radiate outwards to touch other peoples' souls. By appreciating our moments we can expand our growth, touch many more people with peace and happiness; have time to support them when sadness prevails; have strength to manage when grief arrives and have peace in our hearts to experience happiness and to fully embrace our lives.

Capturing the essence of 'moments' in words is like capturing the stars; all are different, everyone's perception of what stars are and how they look is different and so are everyone's moments. People will all interpret them differently, see and feel them differently; they will bring different emotions, different outcomes and so place them on different paths. There will be some who will only experience them through some of the senses; everyone's description of moments will be individual to them. My example of the diary and the coffee is my way of showing how I interpret moments, every day things that enrich my life. And, because I see more, am awake more, then I get the real pleasure of experiencing life more, and, yes, having a coffee now is a special moment which I cherish and look forward to.

Just for a moment in a day, look at what you are doing, experience and feel every stage, every moment, use all your senses to embrace and hold the moment in your mind's eye. Remember how it makes you feel, write it down if you want, read it back to yourself. I then believe you will truly begin to experience the life you have been given.

We all come from different backgrounds; all our moments will be relative to where we are and whom we are. It does not make them less or more special than others. It is how we live our lives that can enhance the opportunities that come our way; it is our contentment within ourselves that can provide enriched experiences and life chances. Not all the world is a fair place and I would be untruthful if I thought that by being more aware of moments in our lives we could change the big picture of our world overnight. However, I do believe that we can all make a difference: we can wake up and radiate from within us a peaceful and positive approach to others, which could begin a wave of much needed change.

On a personal level, deciding to become more awake could make you happier, stronger and you could see clearer and enjoy your days more. You may see opportunities where you thought there were closed doors, you could smile just for smiling's sake and it is my belief, that at times you will sense a connectivity from within to all in the world, those already around you but also those far away. For we are all deeply connected: each move we make can impact on others. The changes you make can reach far and wide. If you feel inclined to notice more moments in your day, break what you do down into moments then I believe you will begin to feel more vitality and more life flowing through your body. We do not have to have it all to live well. We do not have to be the best to enjoy life and feel loved. We do not have to turn our backs on those less fortunate and we do not have to feel that we are at times a failure. Because we all have moments in our days, weeks, months and years that can make us feel rich, loved, admired, confident and leave us feeling a sense of belonging.

'You' are amazing; you have a place on this earth for a reason. It doesn't have to be a grand reason; it could just be that you are a loving, patient soul who will touch others' lives with your loving qualities. So, see your moments, sense your moments, wonder at the world when moments occur, such as sun rise, the flower that blooms, the rain that feeds the land so we can eat and the breath that allows your body to live. For when you experience the hidden moments in your life you will begin to open like a lotus flower until eventually you will fill the world with your heart and breathe new life into your soul.

"We walk from here," said Miriam. We had reached the edge of a pine forest and the snow was ebbing away. "What will happen with the dogs"? I asked "Don't worry: they know where to go when I release them. They will be well cared for when they are home". With that she released the pack, we thanked them and then they were on their way. I was glad that I had not had to talk through our journey, as the wind took my breath away and we travelled at great speed, so speaking would have been quite impossible. I turned and looked at Miriam. She radiated light and once again looked younger than she did when I first met her. This time, her hair was softer and browner in colour and she had lost her stoop. Now she stood tall and strong. It was if she was becoming younger with each journey we made I wanted to talk to her about this but felt strongly that now was not the time.

I couldn't quite see where we went from here but Miriam led the way and we headed through the pines to what appeared to be a clearing on the other side of the wood. As we approached there was a familiar sound in the distance, that of the sea, waves crashing on the shoreline, one of my most favourite sounds of all time: I always felt at home when I walked by the sea. I quickened my pace, Miriam noticed and smiled "Wonderful sound, isn't it"? she said "Oh yes, one of my favourite. It fills me with such joy and frees my spirit within". I replied. There before us was the most beautiful beach and emerald green sea with enormous white horses crashing on the shore; it was a sight to behold. Just to our left were some wooden steps, which we descended; they led to a pathway, which led to where we would stay that night. We danced like children down the path to the front door of a small cottage situated on the edge of the beach with beautiful views of the sea. There was a small garden with roses, and a seat with soft gingham cushions; the smell of freshly baked bread was coming from what I could only presume was the kitchen window.

"Remember these moments, Angela, for they will bring joy to you for many of your coming years" "You have captured your understanding of moments in a way that is accessible to all: for this you should be pleased with yourself" said Miriam as she opened the front door. Smiling, I thanked her and followed her in. It was a comfortable cottage and the kitchen table was laid with beautiful fresh produce along with some freshly baked bread. I looked around to see who had made all this for us to enjoy and could see no one. As if reading my mind, Miriam said "Sometimes we don't know who provides us with what we need and it is not necessary that we do know; our thanks is all that is needed and will always be heard if we are sincere, for giving someone what they need for their highest good is the most precious gift that can be delivered but also received." I must have looked confused as she continued, "You give the thing that is needed and you receive the thanks so mutual happiness is achieved". "Yes, Yes I see what a precious lesson to learn". I said excitedly, Miriam smiled and we sat down to eat.

Afterwards, we walked along the beach, enjoying each other's company in a way that was different than before, no lessons, and no understandings just two people at peace and happy in the world. We kicked the sand, paddled in the sea and collected driftwood that had been smoothed and shaped by the power of the sea. As the evening was coming to an end, we returned to the cottage to watch the sun set. We sat together on the gingham cushions drinking our tea, enjoying and marvelling at the creation of the colours that the sun made as it retreated to its bed, bringing to us the end of a perfect day. Looking at Miriam in the fading light, she looked different, her hands were less wrinkled and her bone structure had changed: there was a lightness and familiarity about her that made me feel that I had known her before, even before I stepped through the mirror all that time ago.

I awoke to a horn being sounded. I leapt out of bed and looked straight out of the window. There anchored off shore, was a beautiful sailboat. I dressed and ran downstairs, the kitchen table was laid with warm pancakes with fresh fruit and warm tea. I looked around for Miriam and she was heading up the path from the beach. "Eat well" she said as she entered the kitchen. "We need to leave soon as the tide is turning and we need to catch it to take us to our next destination." Soon we were on board and preparing to raise the anchor, I looked across at Miriam and to my surprise did not recognise her, her hair was long, blowing wildly in the wind; she was tall and slender and far from the Miriam I knew. She smiled and this time I could not stop myself. "Is that you Miriam"? My face must have been a picture as she threw her head back and laughed out loud, "Yes, my friend it is" she replied. "I don't understand" was my reply. Miriam looked at me and said, "All you need to know is that, when you understand your truths, you will feed your soul, then your destiny could be within reach and with it bringing on the winds of change." "Trust me and all will be revealed: for now Angela, tell me your understandings of the voice within." The anchor raised, Miriam reached into her velvet pouch on her belt and threw the golden dust across the deck and as it settled the following verse was revealed,

Feel it here, feel it there

Wonder what it is think and stare

But have no doubt it's talking to you

Providing Guidance and friendship in all that you do

The anchor locked in place, Miriam took the helm, the golden dust gathered itself and drifted back into the velvet pouch and we set sail for where I did not know.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Trusting your inner voice can open up new doors to you that may show you where your destiny lies. I have read many different types of books throughout my life, at times it was if I was drawn to a certain book and meant to read the words written within. More often than not, my instinct proved to be correct and when I read the words written within its pages I found that they provided me with relevant guidance for that particular time in my life or gave me direction as where to go next or they helped me grow more as a person. I used to say 'Wow, that was lucky, picking that book out of all others!' but was it luck or was I guided by my subconscious thought, what I now call my intuition, that inner voice which I believe we all have in us which speaks to us when it needs to guide us in our life?

In my experience, intuition can present itself in many different ways and only you can identify the signs, as it will be personal to you. You may sense an increase in body temperature when near something or someone: you may sense you should start a conversation with someone: you may see certain things more brightly than others. All of these I have experienced at times, but the last one happens to me especially when around books. Sometimes I have had books on my shelves for months or even years and never felt that I wanted to read them, not really knowing why I bought them. Suddenly one day the title will stand out from all the others and I will pick up the book and sometimes read it in a day and relate to the message it has for me in its pages. This never ceases to amaze me. It certainly fits the saying 'When the student is ready, then the teacher will appear' and at times these books are my teachers.

I have found wisdom and depth of understanding through allowing myself to be 'directed' towards the reading of certain books: they have enabled me not only to grow but also to pass knowledge on to others that I have met along the way. I have not always felt this way. It has taken me a large part of my life to trust what I feel, trust the conversations I have with myself and trust the knowledge I have about a situation before it happens, but trust I do. I never get every detail right but I will say that my sense, my intuition has prepared me many times for situations I have found myself in. When I didn't listen in the early years and ignored my inner guidance, things became difficult at times. It is your intuition that could help you understand the lessons that are being presented to you in your life experiences. Since I now acknowledge my inner voice I have to say my life has become more joyous because I have agreed to trust and listen. I have developed my intuition, the ability to have a knowing within and I have faith in this and believe that it is spiritual and comes from the universe or from God. It depends which one you feel more comfortable in adopting. For me, it comes from God and my spirit family but it doesn't matter where you think it comes from, as long as you listen. It cannot, however, stand alone: it can guide you and give you support but ultimately it is you who makes the final decision. None of us are perfect and we will make mistakes. Your intuition can support your life path but it does not control you: it can give you only guidance, if you let it, for the final decisions about who you are, where you will go and who you will become are yours.

In my understanding and experience, listening to your intuition offers you guidance so that you can experience fully the life you have been given here on Earth. When you have awareness of self you can begin to understand your impact on others, both those you know and those you have not met yet. Having this ability will support you in seeing the opportunities presented to you to enhance your life and in turn you will support the future development of the collective consciousness, which is what is needed for the earth to maintain the human race for generations to come.

Not all that we think and feel relates directly to our intuition or specific events or future plans, as we have so much external information being given to us on a daily basis, that our minds are absorbing all the time (facts, knowledge, emotional, social and environmental experiences). It is my belief that it takes time to learn to separate life knowledge in all its forms, from intuitive thoughts. This is where becoming more awake and building a relationship with yourself supports your ability to hear from within, so as to grow your inner self. For clarity of thought and mind opens the doors to intuition.

Beginning to develop an understanding of how your intuition presents itself to you is one of the most important things that you can do in order to expand your unseen self. You need to develop filters that enable you to hear the truth. This can be achieved in many different ways; some sit in silence with their thoughts and slowly focus on what words they hear that appear more important than others. For others intuition involves the senses and the knowing comes from inner feelings or physical responses. We all have the ability to harness our intuition, by listening to that voice within you can connect to your soul and to God, the universe or what ever your faith has you call that which is greater than all of us.

I have found though that this does not always provide answer or direction for immediate use: sometimes I have had a gut feeling for a year or more before actually what I thought was going to happen happened. It was as if I had time to prepare, to understand and also to grow trust in what I felt. The only way that this trust grew was by recalling my past initial feeling and the thoughts and conversations I had had previously within my self and linking them to the present. It is quite an amazing time when you can link an actual event to something that has been telling you from within that this will happen. It does not of course mean you do not feel pain if it is a traumatic or sad event, or happiness in abundance if it is a joyous event or an expected opportunity, say at work or with your family. For pain is necessary for us to grow, just as much as happiness is necessary, they both have the same vital role. Life is all a balance, a ying and yang, and it is my belief that your intuition, that inner voice, is there to assist you in maintaining your balance.

There have been times when I have stated a fact either to myself or to others, which really seems to me to have come from nowhere but, when said, felt so right, so true and comfortable. It may be forgotten, but eventually a situation will occur and it comes flooding back. That moment will have you thinking, 'Well, I knew that was coming, I remember when I said/ felt...... all that time ago or just the other day and here I am living it'. Take a moment here, because if you can recall times such as these you will be able to understand more how your intuition presents itself to you through the signs and feelings you may recall, this will support you become more in tune with your intuition. If you cannot recall any, then hold the knowledge that you are reading today within you and when those times come, remember what you have read here and you will begin to open up your inner voice, that intuition, which when nurtured and grown could change your whole approach to life and provide you with a sense of wonder, along with an understanding that you are more than you appear to be.

There is an inner depth in all of us, which needs to be reached it is a personal journey, which is open to all of us if we choose to take it. Developing your intuition and inner self is a wondrous journey. You will begin to see and feel with more clarity; life will feel more vibrant and you will be able to present to others your thoughts and feelings about life in a soft way, with presence, not with anger. You will be able to touch others in a way that is not visible but will have a profound effect. People will want to be near you and they will enjoy your company, your knowledge, conversation – discussions will become meaningful and sensitive. Most of all, you will grow who you are and move further towards who you will become on this earth. These are big statements. How many of them will pertain to you depends on you, for only you have the power to know the true you. I have only in the last few years developed such clarity of thought about how intuition, the development of the inner self can change and enhance not only an individual's life.

Everybody's journey is different: we can all support each other and if we are meant to meet certain individuals who will help us on our way, then we will. It is my belief that through learning about the power of intuition; acknowledging the possibilities it can open up and recognising the signs it gives us, we will be lead to touch and be touched by those who can and will help us on our way and we on theirs. Think about who you have met and where that meeting may have led you. Think about times when you have needed to find a certain shop or garage and took a turn whilst travelling down a road just because it felt right. All these things I believe came to you when you needed them from your inner self, your intuition and at such times you listened. You opened your senses, listened to your gut feeling and when it said 'Go there; turn right.' you did!

Our intuition and inner voice communicates with us every day in many different ways; it is up to us if we listen. It's like a tuning fork that is used to tune the keys of a piano to ensure that the right notes will be played. Our intuition is no different. We can use it to create beauty in our lives; to help us to become who we are meant to be, to enable us to touch others; to enable us to manage situations in our life, both happy and sad and take from all this what we need to reach our true potential. To be able to do this, we need to begin to tune into ourselves. We don't have piano keys to press; we don't have notes to see if they create music at the right pitch but we do have our senses, our feelings and our thoughts. We need to begin to see with something other than our eyes.

In the world there is much sorrow and inequality. I am not under any illusion that even if we all awoke at once, the world will change tomorrow: it won't. It is a collective consciousness that needs to grow as well as the collective spirit and I believe this has begun and I am hopeful that it will continue. So we need to build on our intuition nurture our inner self and it will help our souls to shine through. Don't feel a great responsibility for changing the world, for it is not yours alone to carry. The responsibility that you have for now is to yourself, to grow and begin to nurture what's within, for it could give you many new opportunities. It will begin to help you reach a new way of looking at the world, your own life and of those around you. But, most of all it could change you and I hope provide more peace and happiness in your life. Nothing can take away the challenges that will present to us all throughout our lives, but, if we begin to open our inner self, listen to our inner voice, grow our intuition and become more awake, we will make a positive contribution to the future development of the human race, but the one who will begin to benefit almost immediately will be you.

Throughout the time I was talking I was aware of a warm wind in my hair and a calm sea. Surrounding us as we travelled was a vast deep blue expanse of calm water that held a whole different world bustling below us and getting on with life in its own way. I had taken the helm a couple of times whilst Miriam took a rest and soaked up the feeling of peace that surrounded us on our journey. "We need to reduce our sails" Miriam shouted, so I moved to the mast and started to decrease our sails as she had shown me when we first came on board. The sail started to descend and we slowed. As I secured the necessary parts of the sail, we turned a corner and up ahead in the distance there appeared a harbour. Once in port, we anchored and went ashore with what few belongings we had with us. "Will we be back?" I queried "No: she brought us where we needed to be and now someone else will use her for their journey" replied Miriam, "Who?" I asked, "Anyone needing a helping hand on their journey of life." was the reply and she smiled at me. I never really worried when I was with Miriam, as I felt safe and I trusted her, which is quite remarkable, as this journey is our first time of meeting each other: it was like I had known her all of my life. So that was a good enough answer for me.

Up ahead, parked in a layby was a large mobile home. As we reached it, Miriam leant down under the front wheel arch and pulled out a key. She looked at me and smiled: she moved like a young girl, full of energy, with laughter and excitement in her eyes. It was as if after every journey we took, her soul and body was being re-charged. Miriam stood before me and she was nothing like the elderly lady that I had started my journey with. I was determined to discuss this with her once we had settled into what I was assuming was our home for the night.

The van was comfortable, if a bit old fashioned. It had a small kitchen leading onto a lounge whose seats converted into a bed at night and above the driving cab was another bed space. Miriam suggested that she sleep above the cab and I have the lounge. There was fresh produce set out for our meal and this time there was also an uncorked bottle of red wine. I found some glasses, dusted them off and poured. The sun streamed in through the windows and made this a warm and satisfying place to be. After dinner we topped up our glasses and moved out to sit under the awning at the side of the van. I looked over and said "Miriam I have to say you have become younger looking with each journey we have taken: can you explain that to me please?" Miriam looked over: her eyes were so bright it was if her soul was visible through them. She sat in thoughtful silence and then she said, "Listening to you brings me great happiness as it fills my soul with hope for the future: you have learnt well, your burdens have not weakened you but they have made you strong and I can see that ahead of you is much joy and happiness. I can answer no more than this for now but will promise you that, before we part company, you will have all the answers given to you for the questions you ask." I was happy with this for now. I was full of good food, I had good company, the wine had mellowed me even more and sometimes things just are the way they are. I looked ahead of me where the sun was a beautiful red ball slowly setting over the horizon: tomorrow was another day and life felt good.

I woke to the smell of bacon being cooked and coffee brewing. Glorious. 'What a way to start the day.' I thought. Joining Miriam outside' we chatted over breakfast and she informed me that we had far to go to get to our final destination. I never asked where we were going: I knew it would be ok, so I went with the flow, just like when I got in the rowing boat without oars. We packed away, put the awning back in its place and started our next journey together. Just as I was clicking in my seat belt, Miriam looked over to me and said "Talk to me about acceptance' Angela." She pulled her hand out of her velvet pouch and threw the golden dust on the windscreen. As it settled the verse said,

We are all different, no perfection here

Yet acceptance of self is what we fear

Embrace difference and feel the worth

We are all special on this earth.

She started the engine and held up the velvet pouch so the golden dust returned from where it came: with hand brake released we set off down the road.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Acceptance is probably one of the hardest things for an individual to achieve for themselves, as to become fully accepting of who you are, you need to look deep within, and explore places in your memories and your soul that may be painful and difficult. For we are not perfect, each one of us has imperfections, which will remain part of us for the time we have on this Earth. It doesn't mean that in some cases those parts of us can't be modified and changed, but on the whole, in some form or another, we are who we are with talent, with disabilities, with differences, with personalities and with individuality. All of us though are special; we are born special. Young children are more open to the acceptance of others than at any other stage of a human's development on their life path. Their souls are pure, like an empty book, which will be written on by family, society, life experience, friends, opportunities, sadness, happiness and difficulties. For all, the ability to accept is vital to be able to move forward on our life path.

The 21st century places a lot of expectations on us all, from body image, materialism, status and success, to name but a few. All these expectations place great strain in our human souls, as this limits the amount of freedom the soul has to grow. It has to struggle to meet its full potential and some of this is due to humans being worried and concerned about how others perceive them. It is one who does not need this acceptance who can be truly free to live their life to the full, whose soul can grow to its full potential.

The questions that I have asked myself many times are 'How can we achieve acceptance of ourselves? How can I accept me?' The need to be accepted by others, to gain affirmation from them that you are an ok person, can stem from many different life experiences and some can go back as far as childhood. For, when you look for acceptance you try to please, to act in a certain way, to look a certain way, behave in a certain way and, worst of all, if acceptance does not come after such effort, you can become introvert, angry, rebellious and this can lead to many negative aspects being brought into your life. You can continue to try and please everyone around you and forget who you are, or you can embrace you and become who you are truly meant to be.

What does it mean to be accepting of you? This will be individual to you, as only you know the areas of your life where you don't either like yourself, like where you are, or like how you look and feel. Each one of these emotions will carry with it inner emotions that present as outward actions which may or may not attract people or situations into your life that may or may not be beneficial to you. So, let's look at you – I can't look directly at you, for I don't know you, but I have developed enough insight to know that you are special. You are an amazing part of nature and you have great potential within you, if you believe in you. Sounds ridiculous, sounds condescending, sounds true, sounds possible or does it sound embarrassing? Emotions play an enormous part in the development of our inner life, our soul, but whatever you feel now, you need to begin to learn to believe in you: like who you are and feel your potential. For this is the first step on the road to the acceptance of the self and this can begin at any point in your life that you choose, as it is your choice.

Acceptance is an important part of our life, not only of ourselves but also that of others. It is freeing to know you; it gives you more control in your life and it enables you to open up to your full potential. I believe that it is not just individuals that need to learn acceptance and understand the impact of non-acceptance: the world as a whole would benefit from this very important attribute of human life. By beginning to accept who you are, you will be more able to love yourself and embrace life more fully. None of us are perfect; our lifetime here will teach us many things. If we listen, we will grow; if we ignore, we will wilt. Since I have been more accepting of me, there has been an inner peace growing inside my soul. The energy you used to be someone you are not can now be directed at you to support your travel down the road of life. Acceptance is freedom, it is peace, but, most of all, it supports you in becoming you and acceptance of others for who they are will support them in becoming them.

Accepting that we are all individuals and that we all have our own issues and faults that we deal with in our lives, can assist us in growing our compassion for each other. From this compassion will grow love and from this love will grow more understanding and from this will come forth the knowledge and the skills needed to support the human race in its future development. For we are all special, we are all amazing and we all have choices. Make your choice, the one where you grow your inner light and love for yourself. Take time for yourself and don't be so hard on you when you don't get it right because you will not be the only one that will fail at times; we all will. If anyone tells you any different, I believe that they are being dishonest with themselves. It is easy to condemn, it is easy to feel a failure, but accept that that is part of being human. You will only be a failure if you do not try to accept yourself; for this is where you will find the change you are searching for. Change provides growth and through growth comes the realisation of your true life and your full potential.

Take time once a day to look at you and say 'I am ok, I like me and I will love me and cherish who I am'. Remember, this will not happen overnight: it can take years or a lifetime. So, don't rush; don't feel a failure if it doesn't work as soon as you would want it to. Just know that acceptance will open a door for you to walk through and become you and not only will you benefit from this, those around you will begin to see your true potential and support you on the road to acceptance. The beauty of this is that you could also help them on the road to acceptance of themselves. If this builds across the world, then the collective consciousness will be raised to new heights, positively influencing the world in which we live now and for future generations to come.

Do we have time to fully accept who we are? How long does this process take to become comfortable in our own skin? Questions that I can't answer, because the question here for me is how much time do we have? It continues to tick, what ever we have, whatever happens and whatever we hope or want for. 'I'm going to do this next year', 'When I am retired, I will travel', and 'By this age I want to have achieved this', the list is far from exhaustive and relative to each individual. The one thought we do share is that we think we have forever, that time is limitless and we can put off doing things today and arrange to do them tomorrow because we will always be here. Not so. We will all leave this Earth at different times: some will have a limited time, others a vast period of time, but the one thing that is certain, is that we will leave our human bodies. Everyone's perception of what happens at this final stage will be different and relative to both cultural influences and the holding of faith or not.

Whilst we are here, we need to accept who we are and respect time. It moves so quickly: it flashes before our eyes and, before you know it, that thing you wanted to do, see or experience is out of your reach. Getting to know you and grow your inner self, your soul all takes time and the full acceptance of whom you are is inextricably linked to all of this. So find acceptance of you, respect time, embrace life, live it in the 'now' and use your days on earth wisely, for time can be your friend or your enemy. Wake up one morning and say, "I am an ok person" "I am going to live every second of this day. I will look at the beauty around me. I will experience life today whatever it may hold in store for me". Some days will have sad times, others joyful memories. If we feel alive inside our souls, then we will use all of our senses to embrace that time of our life, that second, minute, hour or day.

The rain lashed down and the oversize window wipers swished side to side. We had been travelling for a long time and I had seen no signs to give me a clue to where we were going. Miriam seemed happy, humming as she drove. The times she looked over, she smiled her comforting smile and I was still happy to spend time in her company. It did cross my mind about work, "Would I still have a job? Will people wonder where I am? Are they looking for me?" All this went through my head but I didn't give it much more thought as I had learned to trust what happened in my life, even things as big as this. So I watched the scenery out the window and all felt well with the world. I must have slept, as the next thing I knew we were stopped and I heard Miriam calling me "We're home" she said and, as I gathered my things and stepped down from the mobile home, I realised we were back at Miriam's. "Good to be home" she said "Let's go in and have a cup of tea." I smiled and nodded and she led the way.

Back in the comfy living room at Miriam's was a very welcome place to be; it held a peace and serenity that I had never experienced in any other place. "Tea, dear? White with one sugar?" she asked, I nodded and smiled, I was rather lost for words I felt like I had been talking for a lifetime and was happy to sit in silence with my thoughts. Miriam passed me my tea and I clasped my hands around the china cup and felt settled and warm. It was a while before we spoke both content at just being at one with the silence.

Miriam broke the silence "Well, my dear, what a journey we have been on. 'So refreshing to my soul and comforting to my spirit'. I am sure you have questions to ask but I am weary now and it would please me if we agreed to talk in the morning, after a good night's rest." So it was agreed we would spend the evening relaxing and enjoying each other's company. Miriam showed me her beautiful garden, full of different flowers, all their colours mixing together and creating a rainbow carpet. The butterflies danced and bees busied themselves with their work. Birds sang and the sun warmed our backs, whilst we laughed and danced in spirit with all that was around us. As always, we ate well that night and just before we were about to retire for the night, I looked at Miriam and said "I don't really know who you are or why you have come into my life but I am so grateful that I walked through the mirror to meet with you. I sense this is just the first step on a new path for me that will take me closer to becoming who I am truly meant to be, so for that I thank you." Miriam smiled and I could see she had tears in her eyes. She wiped them before she replied, and said, "When you build that relationship with yourself, it is surprising what you can learn about who you are and where you are meant to go." With that, she got up and said goodnight.

I woke late and found Miriam in the kitchen cleaning some vegetables that she had dug up that morning, "For dinner, later." We made breakfast together and took it outside to eat. The pancakes were delicious, enhanced only by the honey that Miriam had harvested from the bees in her garden; it was the sweetest honey I had ever tasted. It seemed strange today that we weren't going off on a journey to some other place and I was not being asked by Miriam to tell her about something, but it was welcome to be able to just rest and enjoy all that the day was offering us. Miriam went to make a fresh pot of tea and when she returned her velvet pouch was on the tray. She passed it to me. "Today you scatter the golden dust" she stated "Will it work for me?" was my reply "Have faith in all that you do and what you need will be provided" was Miriam's response. Nervously, I took the pouch and placed my hand inside. Its contents tingled on my fingers and I grabbed some in my hand, pulled it out from the bag and threw it in the air before us. It floated down and settled on the path before us and revealed the following verse,

There's more to you, just so you know

You're special, Unique, a soul to grow

Enjoy your days upon this Earth

You're here for you and others too

The key you see for your life here

Is to live your life with love not fear.

With that she settled back in her chair the golden dust returned to the velvet pouch, Miriam smiled and with that we began our final conversation.

Over the next few hours we recounted our journey together and laughed together many times. We talked about trusting and building faith and how this could, if embraced, lead to many new opportunities being opened up to you in your life. We talked about the importance of getting to know yourself so that you may move towards becoming who you are meant to be. We talked about the power and responsibilities there are in relationships and we talked about the importance of self-acceptance. As promised, our conversation ended in Miriam answering my earlier questions about how I saw her presentation change as we journeyed together. Miriam explained that there was no physical change to her presentation and what I saw came from a change that had taken place within her. Miriam recalled how our journey had enriched her and brought happiness to her days and, when you feel happy within yourself and you are enjoying being you, then your inner light will shine through, touching not only you but all those around you. "When you thought you saw me younger, my dear", she said "all you were really seeing was the inner spirit of my soul, which is in all of us if we choose to look for it".

A clock struck a few times and Miriam looked at me and I knew it was time for me to return home. I felt sad and wanted to stay: tears welled up in my eyes and I stood up. "Don't be sad, my dear. We will meet again, for there is much work for us to do in the future." Miriam said. We moved towards each other and embraced. I thanked Miriam and she walked me back to the mirror, which up until now I hadn't noticed in the room. "Just walk straight through?" I said. She nodded and we said our last good bye. Just as I was about to step through, I stopped abruptly "How will I know when to return" I asked. Miriam smiled her smile and said "You will know, my dear, you will know." and with that I stepped through the mirror and found myself back on my landing. "

I looked back at the mirror and touched it, its glass now as hard as ever. My hand just hit it and made a mark as usual. I looked at my watch: it was 7.30 am and, to my surprise, I still needed the bathroom and quite urgently I decided. I looked out the window. The ice was still on the car and the day was still Monday. I sat on the window seat at the bottom of the stairs, wondering what on earth had or had not happened. I went to the kitchen for a glass of water, thinking I must have imagined it all, and there, on the table was the china cup from Miriam's, the most beautiful cup I had ever seen. Walking over to it I picked it up and smiled I placed it on the shelf and just knew that one day I would see Miriam again, when the time was right.

THE END

Biography

A J Harvey born in Essex in 1961; 1979–1981 member of WRNS; 2001 graduated from Bath University with a BA in Applied Social Studies and a Diploma in Social Work. My hobbies include photography, painting, writing and walking in Devon where I have lived for the past 15 years. I am my most happiest when I am being creative. I am learning the art of Reiki and have passed the First degree, enabling me to provide healing to friends and family. I hope to progress this to the next level so that I can open up my healing to many other people.

