

### The Human Soul:

### The Soulmate Relationship

### By

### Jesus (AJ Miller)

### Sessions 1-2

Published by

Divine Truth, Australia at Smashwords

http://www.divinetruth.com/

Copyright 2014 Divine Truth

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### This ebook is a transcript of two seminars delivered on 23rd and 24th January 2010 by Jesus (AJ Miller) in Buderim, Australia, as part of the Human Soul series of talks. In it Jesus describes the process of the soul splitting in two during soul incarnation, he describes the soulmate part of our soul, how to develop a pure longing for and find our soulmate, emotions that block the soulmate relationship, and emotions that create sexual attraction.

### Reminder From Jesus & Mary

### Jesus and Mary would like to remind you that any document produced by Divine Truth containing any information from Jesus, Mary or any other person includes only a portion of God's Truth that they have personally discovered.

### It does not and cannot contain the entire of God's Truth since God's Truth is infinite and humankind will forever continue to discover more of God's Truth as we progress in receiving more of God's Love.

### Please remember that due to these limitations information contained within this document may need to be revised in the future.

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Table of Contents

### The Soulmate Relationship: Session 1 Part 1

1. Introduction

2. God created souls with masculine and feminine qualities

2.1. God created souls with heterosexual and homosexual characteristics

2.2. One half of the soul can progress independently of the other half until they reach the 21st sphere

2.3. As one half of the soul progresses in love it attracts the other half to it

2.4. Discovering who your soulmate is

2.4.1. The complete soul, rather than each half, has free will

2.4.2. Being in a relationship with someone who isn't your soulmate closes down the connection to your soulmate

2.5. Unloving actions by one half of the soul do not create a penalty in the other half

3. The process of incarnation of the two soul halves

3.1. What happens when one half of the soul incarnates and then passes

3.1.1. Consciousness of the other half of our soul grows as we progress

3.2. Soulmates can incarnate into different countries under some circumstances

3.3. Timings of soulmate incarnations

3.4. The two soul halves have matching desires and passions

3.4.1. Intelligence is controlled by emotional injuries

3.5. Physical body genetics does not affect soulmate incarnation

3.5.1. Our souls have the ability to be highly sensitive to everyone around us

3.5.2. Cases of people receiving organ donations taking on characteristics of the donor

3.5.3. Forming a deep connection with a soulmate can make the physical connection less important

3.5.4. When organ donations are loving versus unloving

3.6. Spirit influence can create intense feelings between couples

4. Finding our soulmates

4.1. Emotional judgement can cause us to reject or not recognise our soulmates

4.2. The illustration of AJ finding his soulmate, Mary

4.3. Judgement can prevent us from recognising our soulmates

4.4. God only answers prayers that are pure

4.5. Desiring your soulmate versus being selfish

4.6. Kinesiology can be unreliable in identifying our soulmates

4.7. Being truthful about how open our soul is to our soulmate

4.8. Soulmate relationships are very emotionally challenging

4.8.1. There are many truths to be learned before we can become at-one with our soulmate

4.9. Metaphysical events about the identity of our soulmates can be misleading

4.9.1. An example of a lady not opening her heart to her husband

5. The process of incarnation (continued)

5.1. Emotional injuries on the planet impair the awareness of incarnating souls

5.2. Newly-created souls do not have an awareness of God

5.3. Emotions about loss of our relationship with God come from multigenerational injuries

5.4. Emotional injuries in and projections towards homosexuals

5.5. Dealing with spirit attack

### The Soulmate Relationship: Session 1 Part 2

6. AJ addresses an issue of love with the audience

6.1. The Divine Love Path is about God-reliance, not reliance upon AJ

6.2. An example of a lady with cancer who has unloving expectations of others

6.2.1. Asking someone to do something that you do not want to do yourself is unloving

6.3. Some addictions can be released without grieving

6.4. Any demand towards another person is unloving

6.4.1. Love is a gift

6.5. The example of unloving behaviour towards AJ during the break time

6.6. Cancer is created by unloving demands

7. Emotional causes of sexual attraction

7.1. An example of a heterosexual lady who had homosexual feelings

7.1.1. Sexual attraction is due to energy flow between people's chakras

7.2. When we open the soulmate part of our soul we will only be attracted to our soulmate

7.3. Emotions prevent us from opening up the soulmate part of our soul

8. Emotions that block the soulmate relationship

9. Developing a pure longing or desire for our soulmate

9.1. An example of a man who thinks he knows his soulmate but is still attracted to other women

9.1.1. Working through the resistance to core emotions that cause sexual projections

10. Coming to terms with the lack of love in the world

10.1. On the Divine Love Path we can reach a state where we only need God's Love

10.2. Most people on Earth have never truly been loved

10.3. Truly loving relationships give love as a gift and have no demands

10.3.1. The example of a lady opening up to her husband

10.4. Loving relationships are based upon truth

10.4.1. The example of a woman staying in a relationship for security

11. The soulmate relationship is important for our long term spiritual development

11.1. Opening up in our relationships with truth and humility

11.2. The example of a lady's relationship and her anger towards men

11.2.1. Fear and rage shut down sexual attraction

12. Closing Words

### The Soulmate Relationship: Session 2 Part 1

13. Introduction

14. Relationships can be based on love or addictions

15. Addressing the reasons why love or desire are not present in a relationship

15.1. Dealing with issues with truth and humility

15.2. It is beneficial to stay in a relationship with someone and work through the issues, whether they are your soulmate or not

15.3. The pain of separation comes from addictions being triggered

16. How to deal with your relationship in a loving way if you find your soulmate

17. Developing a pure longing for our soulmate

17.1. The scenario of our being in a relationship when we find our soulmate

17.2. The scenario of our soulmate being in a relationship

17.3. The scenario of not knowing who your soulmate is

17.4. The scenario of knowing who your soulmate is

17.5. The example of when AJ met Mary

17.5.1. A true soulmate longing is a desire to feel all our own feelings for our soulmate

17.6. Emotional blockages prevent soulmates from feeling each other

17.7. The scenario of knowing who your soulmate is and they're in a relationship

17.7.1. An example of a soulmate couple AJ met in the spirit world

17.7.2. Loving behaviour for soulmates on Earth

17.8. The example of when AJ met Mary (continued)

17.9. Developing the soulmate relationship

17.10. An example of a lady having expectations of her soulmate

17.10.1. Being rejected by her soulmate

17.10.2. Being rejected by her father

17.10.3. Feeling rejected by God

### The Soulmate Relationship: Session 2 Part 2

18. The soulmate part of the soul

18.1. The soul half needs bodies or another half of a soul to experience life

18.2. Development of belief systems in the soul

18.3. The physical body has fewer senses than the spirit body, which has fewer senses than the soul

18.4. Developing the soulmate part of our souls

18.5. The soulmate part of the soul needs to be open in order to recognise our soulmate

19. God created soulmates to grow together as they develop in love

19.1. Following passions and desires draws the two halves together

19.2. Joining with your soulmate creates synergy

19.3. Prioritising God over our soulmate prevents stagnation

19.4. God designed us to be able to grow towards God with or without emotional injuries

19.5. Our life truly begins in the soul union state

19.6. Prioritising God over our soulmate (continued)

19.6.1. Emotional injuries prevent a deep soulmate connection

19.6.2. Having faith and trust in God accelerates our progress

20. AJ and Mary describe their emotional experiences as soulmates

20.1. When AJ and Mary first met

20.1.1. Mary and AJ's initial emotional reactions to each other

20.2. When AJ and Mary met up in England

20.3. When AJ and Mary returned to Australia from overseas

20.4. Mary and AJ's relationship depended on the emotions they were working through

20.4.1. Truth is essential for the soulmate relationship

20.5. Dealing with anger towards the man in the relationship in loving way

20.5.1. Anger caps deeper emotions

20.5.2. Reaching the point of no longer accepting anger

21. Audience questions

21.1. As one half of the soul progresses it draws the other half to it

21.1.1. An example of a spirit couple called Joseph and Miriam

21.2. It's better to stay in the emotional truth of a situation before acting

21.2.1. An example of a lady whose partner had relationships with other women

21.2.2. Working through numbness into deeper emotions

22. Closing Words

The Soulmate Relationship: Session 1 Part 1

1. Introduction

What I'd like to do first is give you a summary of the technicalities of soulmates and then we'll get into the emotions regarding soulmates. It's important to understand the technicalities regarding soulmates, the real Divine Truth about soulmates, because it actually does affect a lot of your life. Many people don't even know that it affects their life. It's quite important to allow yourself to understand the truth about how the soulmate thing works because what I notice a lot of times is that people think they can choose their soulmate. "That guy's nice and handsome, he's quite wealthy; that's my soulmate" or "That girl's got a nice figure, she's pretty; that's my soulmate." And it's not like that at all. (00:07:30)

And then a lot of us get into this state with God regarding the soulmate issue because it's not like, "I'm choosing my soulmate," and a lot of times we start feeling that we don't have free will. Your partner is already chosen for you so does that mean you've got free will? That's the question that people ask. They say, "Oh, it can't be true because we all have free will. It would break the Law of Free Will so therefore this soulmate issue can't be true." A lot of times people, including my own mother actually, feel that way. Many people have a lot of different emotional injuries regarding the soulmate connection, which we need to talk about. (00:08:15)

So let's first look at it from a technical point of view and then we'll go into the emotions of it all because it's the emotions of it all that are very, very interesting.

2. God created souls with masculine and feminine qualities

Let's start with God, who has masculine and feminine qualities, and creates souls that all have masculine and feminine qualities.

God, who has masculine and feminine qualities, creates souls with masculine and feminine qualities

I'm going to describe it from the point of view of a heterosexual soul, and by the way there is no such thing as a heterosexual soul or a homosexual soul; there is just a soul, and all souls have varying qualities of masculine and feminine characteristics.

2.1. God created souls with heterosexual and homosexual characteristics

Now when the masculine characteristics become dominant, when the soul separates into the two halves it separates into two male forms. If the feminine characteristics are dominant then when the soul separates, it will separate into two female forms. But for many souls there's a huge range of masculine and feminine characteristics. If you draw a standard distribution curve, 80 or 90 percent will be called heterosexual when they incarnate. And obviously on the male-dominant side the souls that incarnate are going to be male-based homosexuals and the souls that incarnate that have a dominance of female characteristics (although they still have some male characteristics of course), will separate into female homosexuals. (00:10:45)

A standard distribution curve showing that the majority of souls that incarnate are heterosexual, while some with more dominant overall masculine or feminine qualities are homosexual

Notice that it doesn't give any room for bisexuality, which is a very confronting thing for most people nowadays because the bisexuality movement, if we could call it that, is growing in its intensity. It comes from a confusion of our own sexual attraction. One of the things I'd like to talk about today is how our sexual attractions can become so confused. You can actually be a heterosexual soul but in a homosexual relationship and feel quite comfortable until you start opening the soulmate part of your soul, and you can also be in a heterosexual relationship and be quite comfortable but actually be gay. This is why: many people grow up in a heterosexual relationship, they get to a certain point in their life where they are starting to connect to their emotions and feelings and they then realise that actually they are not attracted to the opposite gender; now they are attracted to the same gender. There's a reason for that and this is usually that they are more connected to their own emotions as they get a bit older and they start realising that the attraction in the soulmate part of themselves is actually different. (00:12:09)

God designed us in such a way that there is this huge variety of sexuality or gender bias inside the souls of all of us. Some of us will have dominant masculine characteristics, some of us have dominant feminine characteristics and there'll be this huge variety anywhere in between them, just like there's a huge variety with music. Some of you feel like you're tone deaf and you can't sing at all and others feel totally musical, they can just pick up any musical instrument from any age and away they go and just play it. How does that happen? Well, that happens through a whole variety of different characteristics that are in our souls. (00:12:59)

God's created this whole variety of characteristics in our souls and when we talk about the soulmate discussion we're focussed primarily on the inter-gender, or the sexual, characteristics of the soul if you like. But in reality, the soul has lots and lots of characteristics and attributes. By soul I'm talking of the whole soul here, not one half of the soul, which you are. I'm talking about the combination of the two halves. Because remember that how God sees you is not actually how you're currently seeing yourself. How God sees you is as one soul, even if you're in two different physical forms.

God views us as one complete soul

When I say two different physical forms, once you incarnate your half of the soul is attracted to a physical form and spirit form and the other half of your soul is attracted to a different spirit body form and a different physical body form, but from God's perspective you are still one soul. (00:14:26)

2.2. One half of the soul can progress independently of the other half until they reach the 21st sphere

Participant: So does that mean one person's soul can only progress so far? For example, say one person reaches the seventh sphere and the other person refuses to do anything, can one person not progress until the other person starts to move on? (00:14:43)

It does mean it to a degree but I can describe where it stops for one person. Remember you have got the first to seventh spheres and then you've got the transition into at-onement, which is the eighth sphere. You've then got many other spheres above that. The transition between the twenty first and the twenty second sphere is a state of at-onement of your own soul. So when you're progressing as half of a soul, you can progress right up to the twenty first sphere but you won't be able to make the transition into the twenty second sphere without your soulmate. (00:15:24)

One half of the soul can progress without the other half until the transition into the 22nd sphere

So you can actually be at-one with God while your soulmate is down in the first sphere somewhere. Now in the state of at-onement with God obviously you're in a state of bliss, so even if it took a thousand years after that point for them to get to where you are, it doesn't matter too much to you. Once you connect with God, you will always have a desire or a longing to progress and you'll be able to continue doing that right up until the 21st sphere. But you won't be able to go through the soul union process without your soulmate also being in that same location. (00:16:06)

2.3. As one half of the soul progresses in love it attracts the other half to it

But this is one thing I would like to tell you about soulmates. As one half of the soul progresses in love, the amount of pull they have to the other half of their soul is so great - it's actually the biggest pull or the biggest attraction that you'll ever have to any other person, aside from God, in your entire life. And that pull draws your soulmate into your life no matter where they are; whether they are in spirit or on Earth it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter where in the spirit world they are; you will draw them to you at some point. God designed it to be like a magnetic attraction between the two halves of the soul, and that magnetic attraction intensifies as one half of the soul grows in love. It's not very strong when both halves of the soul are not grown in love but as one half of the soul grows, then that attraction intensifies. We'll talk more about the emotion of that later. (00:17:18)

2.4. Discovering who your soulmate is

Participant: Around about what sphere would you need to be in to have the identity of your soulmate truthfully revealed to you? (00:17:29)

In the spirit world that normally happens around the fifth sphere. It does not so much depend on where you need to be, it's what state you need to be in when it's revealed to you. (00:17:42)

2.4.1. The complete soul, rather than each half, has free will

You see many of us have a lot of emotional injuries about having something determined for us. When you think about it, it's the complete soul that has free will, not each half. God gave free will to the complete unit. So if one half of the soul is really progressing and draws the other half into their life, the other half may think, "I don't want to be drawn into their life, why do I keep getting drawn into their life?" Well it's their soul that's drawing them together, their own soul and they just don't realise that. And so we can't actually say that the two halves of the soul have complete independent free will, it's the complete soul itself that has free will that is independent of every other being on the planet and in the universe. It's even independent of God's Will. That's what free will is, it's complete independence. But it's the complete independence of the entire soul, not its two halves. (00:18:56)

So in terms of when you find out about who your soulmate is, that completely depends upon whether you are opening up the half of your soul towards the other half, in other words, opening up this magnetic connection between the two halves. Once you start opening it up, and it's only opened up emotionally, what happens is that your soulmate starts getting drawn to you, and at that point you are also usually able to know who your soulmate is. So you could be in the first sphere of the spirit world and learn who your soulmate is or you might be a seventh sphere spirit who hasn't found out who their soulmate is but by the time they enter the celestial realm they do know who their soulmate is. It just depends upon whether that part of your soul has opened up or not. (00:19:51)

And the longings for your soulmate vary too by the way. Obviously, if I have more emotional injuries towards the opposite gender and my soulmate happens to be a member of the opposite gender, how much of a longing am I going to have for my soulmate? Not very much. But if I have started to feel a lot of my emotional injuries about the opposite gender, I am going to be much more open to recognising my soulmate. It just depends on my emotional openness, and we'll talk about how to emotionally open that part of your soul to the gender that is your soulmate. (00:20:49)

2.4.2. Being in a relationship with someone who isn't your soulmate closes down the connection to your soulmate

Participant: AJ, if you are with somebody that you believe is your soulmate but they are actually not, does that shut off the connection that draws your real soulmate to you? (00:20:57)

Of course, yes. That makes sense, doesn't it?

Participant: I guess as we work through our injuries then it would feel like it's not right anyway.

Exactly! There was a time in my life when I believed one person was my soulmate for nearly seven years and while I believed that, I was totally shut down to my real soulmate. And she's never going to come into my life in that place. As soon as I worked through the emotional injuries I woke up in the middle of the night and realised, "Ah, she's not my soulmate!" It just dawned on me and then I had to look at why I wanted it to be her. There are a lot of emotional injuries in that; why you want somebody to be your soulmate and you're not open to your own soulmate. I had to work my way through a lot of grief as a result of that realisation. But we'll talk about the emotions involved in it as we go along.

Participant: So it could be negative if you think somebody is your soulmate. But it could be that you're just attracted to them because they are making you feel good?

We'll talk about how that will happen in a minute when we talk about our addictions to the opposite gender.

Participant: If I progress in love on Earth, does that automatically pull my soulmate to me, or does that only happen in the spirit world?

No it happens on Earth first. Even as you yourself grow you'll feel drawn into making decisions and choices that lead you to where your soulmate is. Let's say your soulmate decided to go and live in Canada. You were both born here but your soulmate just decides to go and live in Canada; maybe their parents decided when they were a child or maybe they just met somebody and followed them over to Canada and they're still there. Then sooner or later you'll be drawn to go to Canada. You'll feel, "For some reason I just feel Canada is the way to go," and a lot of times it's something that you'd never consider normally. These kinds of decisions lead you to your soulmate. (00:23:38)

And this is where we want to talk a little bit about the Law of Desire. Now there's going to be a complete talk at some point about the Law of Desire but part of finding your soulmate is about following your own desires. Because remember if you're soulmates, your own desires at some point are probably going to match the desires of your soulmate, which actually leads you together anyway. We need to talk about that too. (00:24:03)

Can you see that we need to focus on the fact that we are one half of the soul? That's very important to understand. I am one half of my soul; there's another person, my soulmate, who is the other half of my soul. We are one soul expressing itself in two different forms; in my case the masculine and hers the feminine form. And we need to remember that it's the entire soul that has free will. When you go through the process of soul union, you come to understand how important it is that the entire soul has its free will rather than just the two halves because it's the entire soul that God created in the original form that has the most power. It's also that entire soul that can grow beyond the condition of at-onement with God to the condition of at-onement with each other and even beyond that condition as far as it is known. The power of the soul in this unified state is much greater than the power of its two halves. That's why it's very important to understand that I am just a half. (00:25:30)

2.5. Unloving actions by one half of the soul do not create a penalty in the other half

Participant: I was just wondering, say if your soulmate was a murderer and had murdered someone, there's obviously a penalty on that person's soul, but does their soulmate also attract that injury? (00:25:43)

No, it doesn't attract the injury because the injury enters the soul via the connection point. The connection points are all related to the bodies while they're connected to the physical form. So energy or emotions and experiences enter the half of the soul through the spirit and physical bodies. It's only when the half of the soul starts opening up towards the other half of the soul that they start feeling emotions coming from the other half of the soul. Now when that starts happening, you will start feeling whether the person has murdered somebody or they harmed somebody. You'll start feeling the characteristics of the other half, whether those characteristics are actually what you would classify as loving or unloving.

This is part of the problem; we start opening up to the other half of our soul and then we feel a bit creepy. Then what are you going to be tempted to do? Start closing down towards the other half of the soul, instead of just allowing yourself to feel those emotions. Because it's the allowing of those emotions that actually triggers your soulmate into experiencing the reasons why they do things. We'll talk about this relationship between the two halves as we go through the talk today. It's very important to understand that there is this synergy of emotional expression that goes on between the two halves, whether you are aware of it or not. Most of us are not aware of it but it does happen and the more you become aware of it, the more you can feel this relationship going on. (00:27:31)

3. The process of incarnation of the two soul halves

Before we incarnated onto Earth we were in the spirit world, and remember at this point that we did not have any consciousness of our self, we didn't know who we were – so there was no self-consciousness, and no self-awareness. It's as if we have no free will at this point in the sense that we don't know how to use it because we don't know who we are yet. Before we incarnate we also have no memory of that state because we are still not self-aware – memory comes with self-awareness. We are in this creative state as a unified soul but we are yet to incarnate onto the planet to begin the process of self-awareness, to begin the process of getting to know ourselves, or, as they call it in the Padgett Messages and in the spirit world, the process of individualisation; in other words becoming an individual. (00:28:48)

Prior to incarnation the soul has no free will, no self-awareness and no memory

Now the instant you incarnate, one half of the soul starts becoming the individual and once the other half of the soul incarnates, now the whole soul is starting the process of becoming an individual. You finish the process of becoming an individual when you make the unification in the twenty second sphere state. So you can say that the first time you incarnate you're conceived, and from that moment on you become an individual. That process ends, or is realised in its completion, in the twenty second sphere state. Right now none of you have yet learned how to become an individual and the process of what we're going through is learning how to be an individual, not as a half of an individual by the way but as the entire soul; remember it's the entire soul that's individual. (00:29:53)

When we're conceived the soul splits into its two halves and the first half attracts a body that has been created for it through the sex act of the parents. Then the second half, due to the Law of Attraction, floats around the first half until eventually the second half also has the opportunity to incarnate into a different form created for it. So this why many times soulmates happen to be from the same country because there is a very, very strong attraction between the two halves of the soul right from the moment of separation. (00:30:50)

When souls incarnate and split in two they begin the process of individualisation

3.1. What happens when one half of the soul incarnates and then passes

Participant: Given that the souls are attracted to one another, what happens when a soul incarnates and its aborted, miscarries or dies and goes to the spirit world while the other half has still not incarnated. Does that affect anything? (00:31:08)

No. There is still the impetus to incarnate; that has to occur for individualisation.

Participant: Sure, but is it likely to choose a situation where it won't live very long or an unwanted pregnancy or something like that?

That depends on the personality. Remember that the personality of the soul is something that God has already created and that is something we come to realise. So it depends on the personality of the soul in the end. It just depends on how the unincarnated soul responds to the death of the incarnated soul and that of course is going to be very different depending on what type of personality we have. (00:32:04)

Mary: It can't choose though, can it?

No. It would have a feeling.

Mary: Would it have a feeling, a consciousness that the other half...

3.1.1. Consciousness of the other half of our soul grows as we progress

Not a consciousness but a feeling, because remember it can't have a consciousness or a feeling until it has self-awareness. The soul still has feelings but it's just not conscious of those feelings in the unincarnated state. As soon as it incarnates it is now conscious of the feelings that it's having. Now when we first incarnate, often the consciousness is growing; at the moment of conception there are feelings that the soul starts absorbing from the parents and from the environment, and the consciousness of those feelings grows. These feelings are absorbed and we become conscious of what those are. That process of consciousness keeps growing all through your life. It doesn't stop when you become twelve or fifteen and set up a relationship or something, it grows all of your life until you become at-one with your soulmate in the twenty second sphere state. The consciousness or awareness of your part of the soul and what's happening with the other part will continue to grow from the moment of conception right the way through to the moment of unification, and it will grow exponentially through that time; in every new sphere you'll get a lot more consciousness of what's going on with the other half of your soul. (00:33:53)

3.2. Soulmates can incarnate into different countries under some circumstances

Participant: How likely is it for soulmates to come from different countries? Is it possible and why would that happen?

Well in today's environment it's highly likely because there's so much travelling going on. Let's look at different scenarios. A couple get together and get married; where do they go for their honeymoon? Thailand. So they go for a Thailand honeymoon and within three days they're pregnant. So where's the soulmate going to come from? Now it's the second half of the soul that's incarnated into that pregnancy, the first half of the soul might be in Thailand and then the people come back to Australia with their conceived child initially, and then nine months later a newborn child, and where's the child? In Australia, but the soulmate is in Thailand. That could easily happen. So can you see with travel, we can conceivably be all over the world with regard to where we are and where our soulmate is. (00:35:00)

And so the next question that arises is how the hell do we find them then? It's really easy to find your soulmate and we need to talk about that; that's part of the discussion that we're about to have. But remember that I'm talking about the technicals first and then we'll talk about the emotions of it next. (00:35:26)

3.3. Timings of soulmate incarnations

Participant: How does time factor into all of this? Between Graham and I, there's five years difference. So how does earth time and spirit time factor into all of the incarnations?

Well there's no time in the spirit world, and an unincarnated spirit has no self awareness, so it doesn't matter to an unincarnated spirit that it's got a time frame. But because of the first incarnation of the first half of the soul, the second half of the soul is going to have an even stronger inclination to incarnate and because of that I personally have not met any soulmates that have been apart for any longer than around thirty years in terms of their incarnation period. Now in two thousand years I've met a lot of soulmates. I have not met soulmates who have incarnated in over thirty Earth years' difference in time. But it is conceivable that somebody could be longer than that; it is possible. It's possible that it could even span generations. But it is highly unlikely for a soul to remain unincarnated in the spirit world. I've never personally seen it even though it's possible. (00:36:47)

Participant: So why the difference in time? Is there a reason that there's a time difference or a strength in one half coming first and then the other one following?

There are so many different factors involved. Think about how our personalities are so different. Every single person in this auditorium is so different from each other. You meet somebody and you can realise similarities but also there are wide differences and all sorts of factors of our personality. God's created all of us in such a different state personality-wise and there are so many variable factors that depend upon the incarnation of the soul, beginning from how many opportunities are there to incarnate.

Remember, way back at the beginning there were fewer people on the Earth so therefore there were fewer opportunities to incarnate for a greater number of people, and so obviously the time difference between the two halves may easily have spanned thirty, forty or fifty years in the state. Mind you back then men also lived longer. But then the human soul degraded its condition right down to some people only living for twenty years on Earth. Now of course if people only lived twenty years they might not even have found each other in their incarnate form due to their emotional injuries. So can you see that there are so many variable factors? The key to understand it is that in the end you are always going to meet your soulmate whether it's here or in the spirit world. You are always going to meet them. But the chances of you meeting them are going to be much greater if you open up the soulmate part of your soul. (00:38:47)

3.4. The two soul halves have matching desires and passions

Participant: Going back to the personality of the soul, as an unincarnated soul would the gifts and the personality and potentials of that soul be the same for the two of them? Or, for example, if one had an artistic gift would that artistic gift be in both when they incarnate or just like genetics would one get some and one not get any? (00:39:22)

Again, it varies very much between each individual soul. How the soul itself splits in its characteristics and attributes is an individual process for each particular soul, but you'll find that there is generally a correlation of desires between the two halves. If one part of the soul is passionate about music and so they get into guitar and away they go with that, then there's a higher likelihood that the other part of the soul is also going to have some kind of passion in music as well and that eventually is found. But a lot of times our passions get stomped on from our childhood and onwards, and so we don't know our passions until we start freeing up our emotional state. So that person may not have realised that passion yet. This why it is very hard to judge from an imperfect state where we are not yet very developed in love whether our soulmate would have a certain thing or characteristic. We ourselves, because of our development in love, may not easily recognise our own characteristics, let alone the characteristics of our soulmate. (00:40:36)

But yes, the personality is for the entire soul and how the personality splits between the two halves is very, very dependent upon how God created that soul in its split. From an energetic perspective, if you can think of a soul like a big ball of energy with all this electrical energy going between the two halves. Then it separates but all of these electrical lines are all still going between the two halves. Now obviously there's going to be very much synergy between the two halves in terms of their desires, passions, longings, intentions. Lots of different parts of the soul are all going to have very similar natures involved in that. So obviously that connection is maintained throughout your entire development as long as you are staying in touch with your emotions, your desires, your passions and longings. The more I detune from my emotions, passions and desires, the more I also detune from my soulmate. If I'm very intellectual and very shut down emotionally, I am actually going to be pushing away my soulmate. I will not even be able to recognise my soulmate in that state because I'm not having that connection to myself. And remember a connection to yourself is also similar to a connection to the other half of yourself, because your soulmate is the other half of you at the emotional level. (00:42:17)

3.4.1. Intelligence is controlled by emotional injuries

Participant: Is intelligence something that comes in with the soul as well?

Intelligence is vastly controlled by emotional injuries. As people grow in the spirit world, they become more and more intelligent and they become less guided by emotions that shut down intelligence. How many of you hate mathematics? A bit more than half of the audience. Okay, how many of those people who hated mathematics were no good at mathematics? Isn't that interesting? Almost all of them. Can you see the relationship between those two things? There is an emotional relationship between the fact that we dislike something and that we're no good at it and the same applies to all forms of what we now classify to be intelligence. There is always an emotional reason why we get shut down in our intelligence. And so many of the people who you judge as not very intelligent actually have quite a few emotions that have caused them to shut down their intelligence because God created the soul with very powerful intelligence. But it's all emotional and this is why when we get emotionally damaged, the intelligence often gets shut down as a result. (00:43:50)

Also there is this multigenerational injury that occurs where intelligence is glorified and emotional intelligence is denigrated. Have you noticed that? How many times do you go along to a university course teaching you to be emotionally intelligent? (Laughter) Not very often, but you do have lots and lots of university courses on how to become a doctor or a lawyer, an engineer and all of these other things, and how many of those things talk about emotional connectedness? Well you can learn to be a psychologist and still not learn about that; there is this really big focus today on the intellect. And in most cases the courses don't connect to people who have been shut down intellectually at a young age, due to emotional injuries, and we then judge those people as, "Oh they're not very intelligent," when in reality their potential of intelligence is just the same as our own. (00:44:54)

The truth is that if you are intelligent, your soulmate may initially appear to be quite unintelligent, but as they grow and connect to the emotional reasons why they had that belief about themselves and release that, their intelligence will grow as a result. So again why judge your soulmate based on intelligence? Can you see how a lot of times our judgements are based around the emotional impact of the emotional injuries we receive rather than the truth? (00:45:28)

So when it comes to visiting or seeing your soulmate, you're going to have to be very open emotionally to your soulmate potentially being anyone. Isn't that interesting? (00:45:41)

3.5. Physical body genetics does not affect soulmate incarnation

Participant: What about the complications of in vitro fertilisation where you don't know who the donor would be. How would that pan out? (00:45:52)

Anything that happens at the physical level is immaterial from this perspective.

Participant: Well when you said that the parents would, through their emotions, attract that soul, so there are two parents, what about the parent of the donor? (00:46:15)

Obviously the parent is the genetic donor, there are genetics coming from that parent and those genetics have emotional things that created them. So the emotional things that created the genetics that were then given by the donor will have an effect on the child. How does that affect the soulmate? (00:46:35)

Participant: Well, yeah...

It doesn't really, does it?

Participant: I wondered if there was an emotional connection between the donor and the parent and then if there was a complication because of that? (00:46:51)

No, the way God's created it is that if somebody incarnates, whether they do it through in vitro or whether they do it any other way, when they incarnate they still absorb emotions from their environment just the same as before. Part of that emotion is genetic, from the history of emotions of previous generations but that has no effect on who your soulmate is in the end. (00:47:21)

Participant: So it's still quite simple?

It's still very, very simple, no matter what man does regarding this issue. Man could actually genetically clone you into another living person and you're going to be very different because there are going to be two halves of completely different souls with completely different personalities. It's the same with twins; twins can even be incarnated into the same cell, in terms of the way the cell starts breaking up. If the twins are incarnated, once the cells start splitting into two different forms then they are very close to each other genetically, but have you ever met any identical twins that are identical emotionally? No, they have many identical feelings based upon the emotional imprints from their environment but they are very, very different.

My own daughter from the first century, Sarah, reincarnated onto the planet and she is a twin of somebody who has incarnated in their first incarnation. In other words she is reincarnated but her sister is not reincarnated. They are identical twins physically but very, very, very different emotionally. (00:49:11)

So what happens on the physical level is almost immaterial to this discussion. This is the thing we've got to get away from because we are constantly focussing on, "There are two men there and they are attracted to each other, isn't that bad?" That is, we have all of this judgement about homosexuality. God doesn't have any judgement about that. God's got the two halves of a soul perfectly designed; all He cares about is what happens at the soul level. He's created this beautiful incarnation for us to learn about ourselves. Everything happens perfectly and the only time it doesn't happen perfectly is when the environment has all of this emotional damage that then gets put onto that child, onto that younger soul if you like. That's when imperfections arrive. That's when we have things like gender body mutation things occurring, because of the huge impact of emotional injuries that we have about sexuality here on the planet, where people want to become transgender for example; because of huge emotional things that have been put upon them by their environment. From God's perspective all of us would know exactly what our gender attraction is, whether it's male or female. It doesn't matter whether we're male or female, our attraction would be male or female and we'll know specifically what it is and we'll know that it will not waver once we know. Before that time you might cycle between being bisexual or being sexually attracted to a male or sexually attracted to a female, but as soon as you open the soulmate part of yourself, you'll know for certain what the other half of your soul is in terms of its gender. (00:50:57)

So remember physical things here are not really very important, even though none of you believe that! (Laughter).

3.5.1. Our souls have the ability to be highly sensitive to everyone around us

Participant: While you're on the subject of identical twins, a really good friend of ours is an identical twin and one of them can hurt themselves and the other one will actually feel the pain. Can you explain how that happens?

It's very easy to explain. One day you'll hurt yourself and the person sitting next to you will feel some of the pain. You see when we're closely connected emotionally to everyone, we feel the pain that is in everyone and so therefore we don't want to create their pain anymore. You see the more we become at-one with each other, the less desire we have to act out of harmony with love with each other. (00:51:46)

Participant: And that's even if we're not in the same room or the same area?

Exactly! Your soul is just as capable as an identical twin of experiencing that. The only reason why an identical twin experiences it and you do not at this moment is that they grew up in the same environment, and so therefore they have a stronger bond to their own harm. In the end all of you are going to have this bond to anybody's harm on this planet; so do you think you're going to want to hurt somebody after that? No, and that's how God created it. For those of you who come from a Christian religious background when I said in the first century, "I want my friends to become at-one with me just I am at-one with God," what I meant was that we would be at-one on this level where we would notice each other's pain so much we would never want to create pain in another. And I'm talking not about the pain of finding out the truth, I'm talking about the pain of not living in the truth; the pain of error. I would never want to project error upon you because I could feel the pain that you would feel as a result of it. And in fact God created your soul in such a way with the Law of Compensation that any pain you create in another is automatically placed upon your own soul. That's what the Law of Compensation is all about. (00:53:11)

So every single soul has that capacity, just like an identical twin, but we're just not aware of it because we are so separated emotionally from every other person on the planet until we become at-one with God that we are not aware of that connection existing. (00:53:21)

3.5.2. Cases of people receiving organ donations taking on characteristics of the donor

Participant: What happens when there's a car accident and organs are put into other people and they can actually take on some of their characteristics? (00:53:44)

What's happening there is that the spirit who those organs belonged to when the spirit was alive on Earth is now influencing the person to whom the organs were donated. Sometimes they actually take on much of the personality trait, and particularly if they are very mediumistic they'll take on a lot of those traits, because there is a strong bond established through the donation between the two people. Imagine for a moment that you lost your life and you had had a good heart, you had a liver that was good, a kidney that was good and quite a number of other organs that were good, you would be quite interested in where those organs went. And if they went into someone you really liked and you could really connect with, you'd probably want to hang around with them, and this is how this kind of thing happens. (00:54:53)

There is actually a movie, called "Return to Me" with Minnie Driver in it, where one person died and the organ was given to another person. That person then felt influenced to contact the husband of the original person, and you can see why that would occur can't you? Because the person who's passed would want that to occur; they could even set that up if they liked with the person who their organ was donated to. Lots of stuff happens like that. (00:55:45)

3.5.3. Forming a deep connection with a soulmate can make the physical connection less important

Participant: AJ, what you were saying previously about the physicality of it not really coming into it, I actually had an experience about four days ago, it was pretty far out. Monique and I were just sitting in the campervan and just staring at each other and it was the most incredible, intense feeling I've ever had in my life and I can't compare it to anything. It was like there was no time, no space; I had no sense of myself. I was just totally drawn towards her and physically being pulled in towards her. I couldn't control my body, I had no control of my mind and I didn't know what was happening. (00:56:57)

And how did you feel emotionally? Overwhelmed?

Participant: I got scared at first and I pulled away and then I just said, "Come and lie next to me, I don't know what just happened," and then I went, "No, no I want to feel that again to see if it's going to happen again, let me try to let it happen again." And she was just sitting there and I went straight back into it. I just wanted to hold her, and so we sat there for ten minutes or so and I was just hugging her and it was like I had no sense of myself at all; I was just totally lost in this emotion. It was just so overwhelming, it was unbelievable. There was no physicality involved at all. (00:57:44)

It's pretty good isn't it?

Participant: (Laughter) Yeah, but there was no physicality involved.

Yeah, and after a while what happens in this connection with your soulmate is that while you still feel sexually and physically bound to each other it becomes almost unimportant.

Participant: Well we actually had sex after that and I said to her, "No offense, babe, that was good but that was nothing compared to before." (Laugher) (00:58:15)

Exactly. A lot of times when we are involved in the sex act, we disconnect from this emotional transaction. If you can imagine the sex act occurring while the emotional transaction is occurring then you'll get some idea what it's like to be at-one with your soulmate. (00:58:31)

Participant: Yeah, well there's still a lot of emotional error there in my sexuality.

And it's the emotional errors that cause that disconnection.

3.5.4. When organ donations are loving versus unloving

Participant: Getting back to the body parts, I was at a funeral yesterday and the elderly man had donated his entire body. I was thinking of the implications of that and I was wondering, is it loving or not loving? In the natural order the thought to give your body parts away is loving, but in actual fact I now see that it could not be loving to yourself given that your spirit could end up staying with that person and that body part. (00:59:25)

The only way that your spirit would end up staying with the person who had your body part is if you still have an emotional connection to your physical body. If you were progressing on the Divine Love Path that wouldn't happen. The only time you have to consider whether it's unloving or not is with regard to the person whose body your part is going into. Let's say they have a bad kidney or something and your kidney is going into them, there is a Law of Attraction that has created that particular injury in them before your body part was available to them, and by giving them a kidney there is this possibility, if you think about it, that you are actually reversing some of that Law of Attraction to stop them from looking at the emotion. There is an emotional creation of every single thing that goes wrong with us, and if there's an emotional creation and I then fix the effect of that creation, then when is the cause addressed? (01:00:24)

Now I'm perfectly happy with a person giving all of their body parts away but I'm also saying that the people who have those body parts given to them need to start addressing the emotional reason why that body part failed for them. And there's always going to be a cause as to why that failed. That's the only ethical thing you would have to deal with. But that's a bit off the topic so we'll get back to the soulmate topic please. (01:01:01)

3.6. Spirit influence can create intense feelings between couples

Participant: AJ, I've had that experience that Alex described, where he seemed to disconnect from his physical body, with a man that I was in relationship with some years ago. It happened quite a few times, four times or something and it was just amazing. We felt like we were as one and it wasn't during sex or anything. But I'm pretty sure he wasn't my soulmate. Is that still possible with people who aren't your soulmate?

Yes it is still possible and the reason is that often spirits who themselves want a relationship in the spirit world are attracted to us under certain conditions. They use our relationship to consummate their relationship. This has happened to many, many people. Now do you understand what I mean by this? (01:01:56)

I could have an emotion as a male that I'm a bit overbearing, a bit controlling, I'm a bit of a power freak with women and so forth. That's going to attract an earthbound man who is in the same condition in the spirit world to connect with me, to use me to connect with women who he wants to treat the same way. And there could be a woman spirit on the other end connected to another lady on Earth who has a feeling of wanting to be dominated a bit by men. She wants to be secure, feel secure, that's her hook, and she might get sexually turned on when the man's a bit dominant.

Spirits can connect sexually and emotionally with each other by using people on Earth

So the two spirits can connect with each other and now these two may meet up in the spirit world. And because they're in different locations in the spirit world, usually in the first sphere in different locations, they use the people to connect with each other sexually and emotionally. It may not be a sexual connection; it may be an emotional connection. And what can often occur then is that the male spirit gives the same kind of feeling to the man on Earth as what Alex was describing. And the female spirit gives to the woman on Earth the same kind of feeling. And so now the people on Earth think, "Ah, we must be together! We're meant to be together!" And then three months later they realise that they're not meant to be together.

We met a lady in Mackay who was having this happen to her, and after a while she understood what was happening. She could feel the spirit with her who was giving her those feelings, and it was a woman spirit who had been in an Italian prison camp in the Second World War and the man who she was connecting to through the partner was the man who had actually been a guard who had sex with her when she was imprisoned in the war and they entered this sort of abusive relationship, which they then used people on Earth to carry out. (01:04:10)

Participant: Even though my experience felt so loving and positive, it didn't feel like the truth.

The truth is that you can connect emotionally to any person on the planet. That doesn't necessarily mean that's your soulmate. The key with the soulmate connection is that it's going to be a sexual connection as well as an emotional connection as well as many other connections that will occur, and you will know the difference between the two when you feel it.

4. Finding our soulmates

4.1. Emotional judgement can cause us to reject or not recognise our soulmates

But how do you know he wasn't your soulmate?

Participant: Well, he left with another woman.

So? (Laughter)

Participant: He's not my soulmate, is he? (Laughter)

Why do you feel he's not your soulmate, Louise? Because he is with another woman? (01:05:06)

Participant: I had some judgement about him.

Okay, let's talk about the judgement. What was the judgement you had? It's alright to be honest.

Participant: He's a bit goofy. He wasn't my ideal idea of a man.

Yes, and this is the stuff I want to talk to you about...

Participant: And there was some dark stuff in his childhood I felt quite uncomfortable with.

You felt repulsed by it?

Participant: I felt repulsed by it, yep.

Yes. Can you see why I want to talk to you about all that? Because he could have been your soulmate.

Participant: He could have been? (Laughter)

And you rejected your soulmate because of your judgement of goofiness and your judgement of childhood issues. Rejecting your soulmate is that simple. You see, every rejection of our soulmate is based upon emotional injuries, and if you think about it what you are relating are a lot of reasons as to why you rejected somebody based on emotional injury. So yeah, he could have been your soulmate. (01:06:14)

And this is also a truth: that many of you have met your soulmates but you just didn't know it at the time. You didn't want to know it at the time because it wasn't your ideal version of your soulmate. And this is something we need to really emotionally address, and this is why I want to get into the emotional discussion after I've discussed the technical issues; because if we do not address those issues you can be brought face to face with your soulmate, not know it and walk away from them. Then you can think someone totally different is your soulmate because you don't want to address the emotional issues inside of yourself as to the reason why you rejected them. (01:07:06)

So this is why it's so important to deal with the emotions because, yes, some people's soulmates appear goofy and some people's soulmates don't appear very intelligent at all. And some people's soulmates are just downright nasty. Because every single person on the planet has a soulmate. And are there nasty people on Earth? Yes, so one of them might be your soulmate. Can you see how if we just see through the physical and also our preconceptions about ideals with relation to parents, then we often reject our own soulmate in the process. This is why it's very important to work through these issues. Good question. (01:08:06)

4.2. The illustration of AJ finding his soulmate, Mary

Now, getting back to the incarnation process, the two of us have incarnated and we are now on the planet somewhere, barring any injury. In other words, unless someone passed because they got run over by a truck or whatever, we are probably still here on the planet somewhere. So how do we find them from a technical point of view? Well what you do is you look through the phone book and... (Laughter) I have tried some really maniacal ways of finding my soulmate by the way, but looking through my phone book wasn't one of them! (Laughter) I just want to state that categorically. But because I've longed for my soulmate most of my life, I've had this feeling of missing her most of my life, I've done some very strange things looking for my soulmate. I needed to give up the looking and the reason I was looking was that I was unwilling to deal with my grief associated with the issue. I was looking so that I could avoid a heap of grief. Once I realised that and I just stopped looking and started focussing on feeling my grief, and once I started really feeling the grief I felt, then I could start feeling my soulmate and her characteristics and her personality again and all of those other things. I started to feel, it wasn't until then. Before then I was doing lots of different things to try and find my soulmate... shall I mention a few? I might as well give everyone a bit more fodder for the internet. (Laughter) (01:10:11)

Well one of the things I did was: I thought my soulmate was somewhere in the Sunshine Coast so I did a drive of the Sunshine Coast (laughter), trying to trust my feelings. Then I was getting up near Gympie and I'm going, "Whoa." (Laughter) Ironically my soulmate's parents lived in Gympie but I didn't know it at the time. So I was driving up, then I saw the Mary River and then all of a sudden I had huge amounts of emotions, and I had to pull over to the side of the road and have a cry. So I thought, "There's something about being up here," but bearing that in mind I thought, "No, she'd like the beach." This is my intellectual thing going there, and lo and behold Mary does love the beach by the way (laughter). "She'd like the beach so she must be along the Coast somewhere." So I drive along the coast, and I get a bit of a hook into Coolum Beach, so I stayed there for five days (laughter). These are the crazy things that I've done. I stayed there for five days. Did I find her? No. Guess where she was at the time? In Lebanon! (Laughter) How am I going to find her there? It's impossible for me to do that.

All I was doing really was just avoiding some stuff and once I started focussing on what I was avoiding I could understand why I was avoiding it because there was lots of grief and I had to feel lots of grief. And one of the things I learned was that if you hold on to your grief and you're looking for your soulmate in order to avoid a heap of grief, you're not actually going to find your soulmate under those conditions; you need to feel this grief and release it before your soulmate will be drawn to you. Otherwise what's happening? Your soulmate has got this job of cheering you up; does that feel very attractive to you? To have a job before they even meet you, you're going to have to be cheered up by them; it doesn't feel very attractive does it? So you want to release those emotions, and it took me a lot of my life to realise all of these things. (01:12:39)

Sometimes I would go to a group like this and say, "Do any of you think you might know my soulmate?" (Laughter) Twenty people would put up their hands and have twenty different answers and then of course sometimes a medium would come along and say, "Oh your soulmate is this person." So you know me, I'd go and find out, if that person was somewhere overseas I'd go over there and check it out. And of course that didn't work well either because I'd meet them and then go, "No this person is not my soulmate at all." (01:13:15)

So there we go and in the end I gave up all of that searching and just concentrated on the feeling of my grief. And when I started concentrating on feeling my grief, I could feel my soulmate and I could even feel, ironically, that she was overseas at that time. I didn't know where overseas, I could just feel she wasn't in Australia once I started allowing myself to feel. And then there was one time I was very distressed about my soulmate and I actually went back to Coolum Beach of all places and hired an apartment for another week and spent the whole week crying in the apartment. (It's not a very good use of a Coolum Beach apartment by the way – the beach is a far better location.) I spent a whole week there because I was in so much turmoil emotionally because I could feel that my soulmate was in turmoil. I felt that the decision she was making that week somehow related to our lives together and we found out afterwards that the decision she was making was that she was thinking of marrying somebody overseas, and I felt the turmoil of that. And then by the end of the week I realised that it was all over and the irony was by the end of the week she was coming home to Australia. So things change quite rapidly when you feel things. (01:15:05)

Participant: So if I've understood this discussion correctly, you feeling this grief in Coolum may have affected Mary's decision to not go ahead with that marriage?

Totally. The thing you need to understand, and we'll talk about this more and more, is that every single emotion you feel and release inside of yourself will have an effect on your soulmate. So it's very, very powerful emotionally. (01:15:33)

4.3. Judgement can prevent us from recognising our soulmates

Participant: Given that more people are finding out about the Divine Love Path and that there is that strong magnetic attraction between the two halves, is the likelihood for the people in the room here, myself included, that as we continue to work with our emotions our soulmate will actually discover and find the Divine Love Path also since we've got that tendency to have similar interests? (01:16:11)

It's likely but it's not necessarily true. You see we often have a lot of judgements about people, and to be frank with you many of you have judgements about people who are not on the Divine Love Path. Can you feel those judgements? Some of you have them. Oftentimes our soulmate might not be on the Divine Love Path until we work through those judgements, until we actually work our way through a lot of those emotions that cause us to think, "The person I'm with can't be my soulmate because they're not attracted to the Divine Love Path." That is a judgement and that is not necessarily true; they might be your soulmate and it's just that you're in a place of judgement about the Divine Love Path. When you work your way through the Divine Love Path emotionally, you'll get to a point where you'll not judge anybody who's not on the path, including your potential soulmate. (01:17:09)

So be very, very careful of trying to pre-empt, "I'm on the Path so my soulmate must be on the Path," that kind of thing. "I'm a musician so my soulmate must be a musician" – it's the same thing. "I'm a builder so my soulmate's got to be one." (Laughter) When you start thinking, we could take that to some pretty weird places couldn't we? So in the end what we need to do is realise that everything I have within me that's a judgement of something outside of me is going to prevent me from being open to my soulmate anyway. It's so important to work on yourself in this discussion. (01:18:03)

4.4. God only answers prayers that are pure

Participant: When I met Graham it wasn't until we started to release lots of our unique emotional injuries that I actually came to the realisation of just how similar we are. But that wasn't my question. My question is about prayer. What is appropriate prayer with regard to our soulmate? Because the way in which we pray can perhaps, come from our soul injuries? (01:18:40)

So, "Please send me my soulmate! Please send me my soulmate!" (Laughter) I don't know if that's going to have much effect. What do you reckon?

Participant: So then the question is, does praying for your soulmate affect the other half?

Praying for anybody else affects them. You can pray for them but you've got to look at what's your motive. Remember when it comes to prayer our motive must be pure and if I'm praying for my soulmate every night because my motive is that I want to meet her, then how pure is this motive? It's not that pure really, is it? It's quite selfish. When we pray for anybody we don't want to pray for them from a selfish place, we want to pray for them from the place of love, which is a very different place. So just bear that in mind when you're praying for your soulmate. If you're screaming to God at the top of your lungs, "Please give me my soulmate now!" he's probably not going arrive any time shortly. And pleading with God to send you your soulmate because you can't bear your life as it is, is definitely not going to result in you receiving your soulmate shortly because we need to deal with the emotional injuries we have. When we deal with the emotional injuries truthfully, that automatically attracts the other half of the soul. It's an automatic attraction that occurs as a result of that. (01:20:21)

4.5. Desiring your soulmate versus being selfish

Participant: What about just desiring your soulmate, even if you're selfish? How selfish is that?

This is a very good point and I want to raise this in the whole discussion about the Law of Desire because most people think that desire is selfish. (01:22:49)

Participant: No I don't think it is because that's what our soul is - our desires and emotions - so how can it be selfish?

It's not. So let's define selfishness. Selfishness is when I want somebody else to help me suppress one of my emotions.

Participant: I do a good enough job of that by myself!

Okay, but can you see that my definition of selfishness is that I want somebody else to help me suppress one of my own emotions? Now when I'm going, "Please give me my soulmate because I'm lonely," what am I saying? I'm wanting my soulmate to help me suppress the emotion of loneliness that's inside of my soul. Is that a selfish motive? Yes. So even though I think I'm desirous in that state of not being lonely, it's actually an avoidance of one my own emotions and is therefore a selfish condition. (01:21:47)

Now those kinds of selfish acts won't be heard by God and would obviously be very harmful if you became satisfied in that state because what would happen is that your soulmate would come along and you'd no longer feel lonely, but there's all this loneliness that's still within you. You're never going to become at-one with God now because you're ignoring all this loneliness within you and obviously the loneliness will attract an event to trigger which may even involve your soulmate. So what if your soulmate passes and then you're back to being lonely again? (01:22:28)

4.6. Kinesiology can be unreliable in identifying our soulmates

Participant: I tested with kinesiology who I believed my soulmate was. Does that mean it is?

I had a whole discussion about kinesiology and the influences that are available on you when you do kinesiology. There are quite a lot of external influences on you when you are doing kinesiology because you've got your own emotional state, you've got the state of any spirit with you, which can influence your emotional state, you've also got the state of whoever is testing you, and if it's you then it's even more influence on the state. So there are actually lots of things involved with kinesiology. So while kinesiology can be used as a tool to determine truth, if you come to depend on it when you are in an emotional condition that's not yet at-one with God, you'll find that there will be some errors in the testing. (01:23:37)

So what I'm saying is that while it's an interesting thing that you tested it and the result has come out to be true, it may not in the end be true. In the end you've still got to deal with the emotional reason why you wanted to test it. This happens a lot with people using tools like kinesiology. Even the tool of mediumship is a tool that allows spirits to communicate to you and tell you all sorts of information. If you want to use it to avoid an emotion you can, and many of us who are trying to test for our soulmate or test for other things are only in that process of avoiding an emotion - that we don't really believe it to be true. Then the testing says, "Yeah, it is true," so I've got to accept it then. But there's still an emotion inside that says, "I don't believe it to be true" sitting in there that needs to come out. (01:24:37)

Participant: For me, it made absolutely perfect sense.

Of course it would do if you tested it to be true.

4.7. Being truthful about how open our soul is to our soulmate

Participant: I wish you'd just tell us all the name of our soulmates, where they are (laughter), when we're going to be with them, what our present partners will be doing, and will we be happy when we've got together with our soulmates!

Now we're getting to the point! Okay so what's the first one? You want to know the name, the timing! (Laughter) You might as well go for the whole lot while we're at it!

Can you see that by doing that we are often avoiding living in truth in our current situation? For example many of you know for certain you're not with your soulmate. But what do you finish up doing? You stay with the person you're with until you meet your soulmate. No, you're going to have to confront it a lot more than that. If you know the person you're with is not your soulmate then how can you remain with them if the soulmate part of your soul is open? You won't be able to remain with them so that's telling me that the soulmate part of your soul is not open, it's closed. (01:25:58)

Participant: But they might still be, it's still a possibility. (01:26:02)

There's no "might" after a while; you'll know whether the person you're with is or is not. And if you know they're not, then why are you still with them? You're only remaining with them because of security, other issues such as worry about finances, worry about children, worry about all emotional issues, which all need to be addressed; so address them. Don't run away from them. We'll talk about this more in the second half of our discussion because it's so important to understand. (01:26:29)

So please understand that I'm not telling you you've all just got to leave your partners and be single! (Laughter) I'm not saying that but what I am saying is that you do need to address the emotional reasons inside of yourself as to why the soulmate part of your soul is not open. There will be lots of reasons, which we will discuss, that cause it to be closed.

4.8. Soulmate relationships are very emotionally challenging

Participant: AJ, it's been interesting listening but it sounds like everybody thinks that when they meet their soulmate it's going to be perfect happiness and bliss, and I don't think people realise just how difficult it is going to be. I think there's an erroneous idea there that if I meet my soulmate everything becomes one and easier and everything, and I know for me personally that that is not true. (01:27:25)

4.8.1. There are many truths to be learned before we can become at-one with our soulmate

Well, yeah when you think about it if it takes until the twenty second sphere to become at-one with your soulmate, don't you think there's going to be quite a lot to deal with? If you can become at-one with God by the eighth sphere (laughter) and it takes another fourteen to become at-one with your soulmate, don't you think there's going to be a fair bit to deal with? (01:27:57)

We become at-one with God in the 8th sphere, but we don't become at-one with our soulmate until the 22nd sphere

All of us who have this utopian idea in which we meet our soulmate and live happily ever after, really we've got rocks in our heads! Because that's not true; that's not how it's going to happen at all. You're dead. Our soulmate is going to be our perfect partner but only once we work through lots of issues. Not only issues of emotional injuries because remember, by the time we hit the eighth sphere our emotional injuries are gone, so what does that tell me? I become at-one with my soulmate way, way up here at the twenty second, and by the time I get to the eighth sphere my emotional injuries are gone, so what am I learning here? There obviously have to be lots of truths between the soulmate halves that I've still got to absorb. There won't be emotional injuries; there'll be other things - truth that you will absorb as you grow closer to God that will pull you together into your soulmate. (01:29:01)

So the truth is that lots of stuff is going to be confronted, not just emotional injuries. Obviously confronting emotional injuries from the seventh sphere down, and including the seventh sphere, is very difficult task and that's the task that we don't enjoy very much. So progress from the lower spheres to the top of the seventh sphere is some of the hardest progress you'll make. The reason why it's the hardest is that there are all these error-based painful feelings to release that are stored within your soul. So it's going to be quite difficult. But once you make the transition to at-onement with God, in the eighth sphere, then obviously from then on you're just having the pleasure of learning new truths. But doesn't that tell you that there are quite a lot of truths that are going to have to be learnt? But you'll enjoy it then; that's the beauty of it. And if both of you hit the at-onement stage, obviously your joy in relationship is going to be quite intense as you're progressing through those things, because there are no longer emotional injuries or emotional baggage to influence the relationship between yourself and your soulmate. But there is still lots to learn that will keep you away from being at-one with each other until you learn it. (01:30:27)

So forget about the old idea of them being an ideal partner because there's actually quite a lot of error in that. And by the way there's quite a lot of expectation in that. Basically what you're saying is "This person is going to meet all of my emotional injuries perfectly". Is that what you want? Because if that's what you want then I'd suggest that you don't follow the Divine Love Path at all and go and find another path where that happens. Because on the Divine Love Path we are concerned about getting into and releasing all of our emotional injuries so that we don't have any injuries, that's the whole point of the path. And as we progress on that path we're not interested in finding a person who meets all of our injuries, we're now interested in finding a person who's into integrity, character, truth and all these other things of course that will allow us to grow and then continue growing. And if they are our soulmate we'll just keep growing together.

Mary: I think that there's something that happens when soulmates meet because the Law of Attraction is so intense that it actually triggers your emotional injuries even more.

Yeah, so when you first meet your soulmate, intense negative emotional events will often occur. And when I say intensely negative, you think its intense now? You wait until you meet your soulmate, it gets intense. Because if you're pulling together emotionally and there's all these emotional injuries, things get triggered quite a lot, and if Mary's okay with it I'll talk about some of things that got triggered between us in the latter half of the talk. (01:32:36)

4.9. Metaphysical events about the identity of our soulmates can be misleading

Participant: I had an experience some time ago where I'd released some grief and I was sitting on the end of my bed just fairly relaxed and looking in the mirror and thinking about who my soulmate might be when I saw half of my face, his face, and the other half of mine. Could that be spirit influence or emotional injuries or...? I do know this person.

Okay, let's address this issue. Any time you have a metaphysical interaction there is always the danger of there being a spirit involved. So any single time you are looking for any metaphysical confirmation of your soulmate, including mediumship, kinesiology, visions, images, dreams and so forth, there could always be a spirit involved in this process who is not actually your soulmate and doesn't want to point out your soulmate. The only way you're going to find out is as you grow in love in Divine Love, that's the only way you're going to find out in the end. (01:33:56)

Now in the spirit world it's a little easier to find out than it is here because in the spirit world, even on the Natural Love Path, by the time you get to the fifth sphere of the spirit world, if you haven't recognised it before you start noticing this unique energetic connection that seems to go off into the distance to somebody at the other end, and it's a unique connection. Remember I've been telling you that in the spirit world every connection has colours? Whatever emotion it is I'm feeling has colours associated with it. There's this unique colour between you and your soulmate that connects you and you start noticing that unique colour coming out of you and going somewhere.

So to find your soulmate you need to trace the colour and that will lead you to a person who you'll look at and go, "Hmm, I've got no idea why I've got this connection to that person," (laughter) and walk off. That's what most of them do initially because they haven't had a soulmate longing before then, and they're just noticing the colour. So whenever you're longing for your soulmate, it draws you straight away. When you are just noticing the metaphysical, it draws you to the person and you go, "Hmm I don't know why there's this connection between us, I'll find out at some point later," and off you go doing something else. (01:35:24)

And the problem with all metaphysical-type manifestations is that there can always be some kind of spirit transaction involved. My suggestion is to deal with the emotions. This is why we want to have the second half of this discussion of what kind of emotions cause the soulmate half of your soul to open. And then notice what happens when you start opening that part of your soul because you opening that part of your soul will draw your soulmate to you. So in other words, it's not necessarily going to be someone that you think you should have, it's going to be someone that is drawn to you because your part of the soul is open. This is why it's so important to focus on your emotional injuries regarding the opposite gender, or, if you have the same sex attraction, to the same gender. You need to deal with those emotional injuries. (01:36:25)

So always look upon any metaphysical thing with suspicion. I've had five different mediums tell me five different souls and none of them got it right by the way.

Participant: Yeah, I wasn't thinking about it at the time I don't think.

But you were thinking about, "Who is my soulmate?" You were sitting down concentrating looking in the mirror thinking, "Who is my soulmate?"

Participant: I don't know. I was just looking in the mirror because it's right near my bed and then it just kind of changed. It actually freaked me out because I thought, "No, no, I didn't want to see that."

Okay, but can you see that could draw a spirit into the mix? Just you feeling about the issue, straight away draws anybody into the mix. And that person can easily give you a vision. So I'm not saying don't trust it, what I'm saying is, "Okay, that happened. Let yourself know that happened but now feel about it, emotionally feel about it." What are the emotions there about it? Because it's someone from the past, isn't it? (01:37:40)

Participant: Yeah, an ex but he kind of moved on.

Okay, so what's that telling you? There are still quite a lot of emotions with this ex that you need to address. I would address them; go ahead and address them. Don't avoid those emotions, address them. What if this person is your soulmate? Address that.

Participant: I don't really like him!

Okay, so feel about that. Let yourself feel about that and let yourself go through the emotional experience of that. Understand that all of these metaphysical experiences, whether they are true about a soulmate or untrue, are all Law of Attraction events that we need to work through an emotion about. (01:38:30)

When one of the mediums told me my soulmate was somebody overseas and I went over there as a part of a trip, I decided to call in and meet the person and they're not my soulmate and I could feel that, what did I feel? Well, there was a feeling of someone telling me an untruth, a spirit telling me an untruth, that I can't trust spirits. There were quite a few feelings associated with the disappointment of, "I thought I was going to meet my soulmate and I didn't." There are all sorts of different emotions involved in a process like that. So let yourself feel them, they are all things that need to be healed and released. (01:39:26)

4.9.1. An example of a lady not opening her heart to her husband

Participant: Would a Celestial spirit tell you who your soulmate is?

Not always, no. In fact most Celestial spirits will try and help you with the emotional reason why you can't work it out for yourself. What does a Celestial spirit want you to do? A celestial spirit wants you to work through all of your own blockages towards God; once all of those blockages are released and you become closer and closer to God, you'll come closer and closer to yourself, you'll become a lot more self-reliant and you'll know in yourself when you meet your soulmate. That's what a Celestial spirit wants you to do. So when you say, "Who's my soulmate?" and a Celestial spirit says, "Mary," is that a Celestial spirit do you think? (01:40:11)

Participant: Well, I was doing some channelling about myself and I had a feeling that my husband was my soulmate. I wanted it confirmed and I believed I was talking to my spirit guides at the time and they said "Yes, but you already knew this." (01:40:26)

Did you?

Participant: Yes.

So why did you ask?

Participant: I wanted to be sure.

Why?

Participant: Because I had doubt.

No, doubts are good excuse to get away from our emotions. What were your real emotions?

Participant: Well I asked why I doubted and they said it was because I didn't feel that I deserved that kind of love from a person and that I had longed for it for a long time and I didn't feel I was deserving of it.

Can you see though that with your relationship with your husband, you are not allowing yourself to be open, not allowing yourself to be vulnerable, not allowing yourself to actually connect? Can you see that the injuries from previous relationships have caused you to block off to the male? (01:41:15)

Participant: Yes.

So the real question that I would ask you is, if you're married and in a relationship why aren't you opening to this man? Because your question is actually about avoiding that emotion. You're avoiding the emotions of opening up to the man because you think, "Maybe he's not my soulmate." If you think "Maybe he's not my soulmate", then why are you with him? You need to allow yourself to open up to this man and discover the process of whether he is your soulmate or not. You're in a relationship, your Law of Attraction has brought you this relationship, and you thought he might be your soulmate, so why aren't you opening to him? (01:41:58)

Participant: I've no idea!

That's the crux of the issue, can you see? That's the emotion you need to go for. What emotionally is causing you to not be open to this man?

Participant: So in that case if I was asked on someone else's behalf, if I was channelling and I was asked about someone else's soulmate, I wouldn't necessarily receive the correct information either. (01:42:18)

No, that's right. And this is the trouble; it's our own emotional injuries that affect all communication with the spirit world until we are at-one with God. So you will actually be able to get things wrong even as a medium even though you're convinced they're not wrong because a lot of our conviction comes from emotional injuries about a certain set of circumstances or events. In your case here you're avoiding total openness and vulnerability towards your partner. So if you suspected he was your soulmate up until now why haven't you just gone for it? There's got to be a reason. (01:43:01)

Participant: I don't understand what you mean.

Why haven't you just gone for total openness, total vulnerability, total honesty and total everything with this partner?

Participant: I've just tried doing some of that this week.

Okay, that's good and that's what you need to let yourself do because when you do that you'll quickly find whether the person's your soulmate or not. You won't need to ask the questions then. (01:43:26)

You see most of our questions are governed by our emotional injuries, can you see that? Fears, anger even, sadness, grief, shame; a lot of our questions are all based around our emotional injuries. If we allow ourselves to even examine what kind of question we're asking and go deeper into it, we'll often find the answer is not related to the thing we thought it was but rather an emotional injury that blocks me to doing something in my own development. So often we ask the question, "Is this person my soulmate?" because we want to avoid having an open, honest and truthful relationship with this person until we know. You either know or you don't know. If you don't know why are you with them? If you don't know, you might decide to be with them for security, or whatever issues you might have. Why do you decide to stay in a relationship for security? Can you see that's a compromise? So allow yourselves to investigate this. (01:44:46)

5. The process of incarnation (continued)

Participant: At the time of God's creation of a soul, masculine and feminine together, that entity as created by God has free will? (01:45:04)

The single entity, yes.

Participant: At that point of having what one could say almost Divine free will or a pure free will, or we're acting together without emotional injuries because at the point of creation...

Can I say though that the single entity is not conscious that it has free will.

Participant: Oh right.

It has free will but it doesn't know how to express it.

Participant: Before you mentioned that there is personality or individuality at the time of creation?

The two are different. Personality is something that God builds into the soul, which we can also develop further, but individualisation can only happen through the incarnation. (01:45:52)

Participant: Alright. So the soul is relatively free of emotional injuries at the time that it's complete.

Yes, before incarnation it is completely free from emotional injuries.

Participant: Yes, and so why would the soul at that point not just praise and glorify the Father?

Because it hasn't come to be self-aware yet, so it can't even know to do that. (01:46:14)

Participant: I see, but it does have free will at that point, in order to exercise free will.

But to exercise free will you have to become an individual, you actually have to know that you've got it. When we were created as souls in this original pristine state we were not aware that we had free will, even though we had it, and we didn't have any awareness of even ourself, even though some point in the future we would become aware of ourselves. So in the state before incarnation you could think of it like a personality and a single entity but without any self-awareness, and it's the process of incarnation that creates the self awareness.

Before we incarnate we are a single entity with personality, and are free of emotional injuries

5.1. Emotional injuries on the planet impair the awareness of incarnating souls

Unfortunately it's also the process of incarnation onto the planet in its current condition that creates all of our emotional injuries and degraded awareness to a degree. But we become aware that we are an individual, so the process of individualisation is completed by our incarnation, but unfortunately our own self-awareness of a lot of other issues often gets harmed because of the emotional injuries. The way God created the Earth is (and sometime in the future this will actually be the case) where people will incarnate on to the Earth in complete awareness in the sense that everyone here on Earth will not be preventing awareness. So these little baby souls, if you can think of them that way, will come to the Earth, they still won't have any experience because it's our life that creates experience but they will begin to have awareness at a much, much younger age. (01:47:57)

Participant: Yes, so the level of emotional injury will diminish quite dramatically in that period?

Yes, and that will diminish by us dealing with our emotional injuries, which means that when we come together and get pregnant our child will have far fewer injuries and therefore more awareness and more rapid awareness of development.

Participant: Yes, so humanity will be at that point freer and closer to the Divine.

Yes, it will be evolved quite rapidly.

This is why all of you interested in channelling or whatever you have heard that this is the time of change on Earth, this is the time when the whole planet is going to go through this huge change. How it's going to go through this change is by groups of people like yourself getting into a state where you are releasing your emotional injuries so the next generation of people who incarnate will have fewer injuries, and as a result of those fewer injuries have more awareness. All of these different things that we are now talking about in our thirties, forties or fifties, they will be talking about when they're ten or five at school. And then the next generation after that, we won't even need to talk about because by the time they're five they'll be doing it so they won't even need to talk about it, let alone try to practice it. (01:49:23)

Many of us at the moment are developing our mediumship skills or developing our other skills. Once all this change occurs, a five year old would say, "You had to develop your skills? What do you mean develop?" (Laughter) They'll look at all of this material that AJ did, mediumship session 1, healing session 2 and they'll go, "What did he do all of that for?" They will have those things automatically occurring. Because of the emotions that have been released generationally, those things will be automatically present. (01:49:58)

The problem that we face today is that because of the huge suppression of emotion on the planet and the huge emotional baggage on the planet, we have actually basically controlled and suppressed our own development as a human race as a result. And as we release these emotional injuries, the process of evolving will become much more rapid. And because of it speeding up, things that we learn to do in our own lifetime a five year old will be able to do in future generations. It would be lovely to be born into a generation when you're able to do a lot of these things at five that we are now doing when we're fifty and still don't know what to do. When you allow yourself to see the truth of that you can see the potential of the human race. (01:50:55)

5.2. Newly-created souls do not have an awareness of God

Participant: Does the soul prior to incarnation have awareness of God?

No. It does have a sense of being but because it's not conscious of itself, it's not aware of its surroundings. So while it has a connection to God, it's not self-aware of the connection to God. Can you see the difference between being self-aware of something and actually having it? You can have something but not be aware of it at all, and in this condition prior to incarnation, the soul is connected to God but does not have an awareness of its own connection to God. (01:51:45)

5.3. Emotions about loss of our relationship with God come from multigenerational injuries

Participant: So how do we then have that feeling like I've often had, of a loss of that connection?

That comes from your parents' emotional injuries regarding loss of connections in their own lifetime. So for example, let's say I'm your mother's mother and when I was fifteen I had this really good boyfriend who was just amazing. When I was eighteen he just left and I felt I was still in love with him and I eventually sort of got over it and finished up marrying a man when I was twenty two and then I had a daughter, Paula. Can you see that Paula is going to have the emotion of terrible loss about one particular person because mum never released that loss? And so Paula is going to feel that loss of someone special, like a type of loss of soulmate emotion. She's going to feel it like that and we often have that. And by the way most people through their life have that with God as well. (01:52:54)

So this is why a lot of times we have this feeling that occurs on the planet, particularly in societies where there's mainstream religion, either in the Muslim societies or Christian societies, most people who are born have this terrible sense of a loss of God because the previous generation practiced their religion for many years and then many of them sort of gave up on there being God, or gave up on this connection with God, which is this terrible sadness about a loss of God. And so we as a child would then have this deep sadness about losing God. That happens generationally emotionally. It doesn't mean it's necessarily even in your parents, it could be in your grandparents and passed down and never released in your parents. (01:53:46)

In the Padgett Messages there's a message, I think it was written by Luke, who talked about the multigenerational effects of sin, and it's worth reading because every single thing that we have inside of us is usually based on something that was not healed in the previous generation, including this thing about God. (01:54:10)

Participant: I'm just trying to figure out in processing that emotion, which has come up a number of times in me for loss of connection with God...

Which came from Amon and Aman.

Can you see why?

Participant: Yes I can see why.

You see the first human couple had a connection with God and then, through their choices, lost it and then felt the effects and the pain of that loss. And that multigenerational emotional injury has been passed down ever since the beginning of their lives to now. And so every new generation is going to experience the same pain of that loss. (01:55:00)

Participant: So is that a causal...?

That's a causal emotion, yes. That's a causal emotion that you need to let yourself experience.

Participant: But it keeps coming back so I obviously haven't got to the cause of it.

Exactly! Or it might just be pretty big and you need to do a lot more crying about it. It's one of those two.

Participant: So you just keep trying to go with what comes up?

If you can understand what it's about; you see a lot of times it's about the loss of God-reliance and into self-reliance, which is what Amon and Aman, the first human pair, got themselves into. That emotional injury has been passed down from generation to generation to generation. So all of us feel like we have a bit of a hole when it comes to God as a result of this emotion. You see if we didn't have that, we would be born without the feeling of having a hole when it comes to God. We'd have a desire for God because we would recognise the existence of God much more easily than we do now with our emotional injuries but we wouldn't have this terrible grief associated with it. At the moment many of us have got this terrible grief associated with it which is related to this loss that they experienced. (01:56:31)

5.4. Emotional injuries in and projections towards homosexuals

Participant: AJ this question is not about feeling left out again...

Can I just address this emotionally for you? Is that alright? Now as a gay man, what's happening is that one of the big emotional injuries in particular that you've had from your childhood is this feeling, "Nobody really understands what it's like to be me." When we talk about this separation of the soul, I'm feeling that it's immaterial whether it's male-female, two males, two females; that's how I feel it. But you don't feel it that way, you feel it like, "Again he's talking about male-female, woman-man." There's this feeling inside you of not being recognised as a gay male. (01:57:21)

The key is to go into that because there's a lot of multigenerational error on this planet about those emotions and it's sad because that gets projected at you. This is something many of us that are heterosexual do not understand about homosexuality and being homosexual. Being homosexual, right from the time of your incarnation, there is this barrage of judgement coming from society at you. It not only comes from your own parents, it comes from society in general in lots of different walks of life. It's not just sexuality that's questioned; it's also religion that's questioned. What do most religions say? "It's not godly. God never created us that way so it's not godly, so therefore it's wrong." So there's that huge projection at any newly-incarnated child who has this split of a male/male or a female/female at the soul level. There's this huge projection coming from society and from their own parents right from the time of incarnation that not only affect their gender or their sexuality and their gender choices but it also affects their religion, it affects their politics, if affects every single aspect of your life. (01:56:59)

Many of you don't see heterosexuality as an issue. The reason is that you haven't had a whole lifetime of projections about heterosexuality coming at you but every single person who is part of a gay or a homosexual soul with a male/male or female/female split has had this projection from the moment of incarnation. You imagine how that feels. It feels terrible and there's a lot of grief to feel about that from a person who's gay, but there's also a lot to feel about it as heterosexuals. Why do we have this huge judgement that we continue to project? What's going on inside of us that causes us to have these big projections? Imagine for a moment that you grew up and you are fifteen or sixteen years of age and heterosexuality is questioned and said to be ungodlike? How do you think you would be feeling? Do you think it's an issue then for you? Of course it's an issue then for you, can you see? (02:00:21)

So it's very, very important to understand how much damage has happened to every single person who is homosexual on the planet by the people who are heterosexual on the planet. Very important to understand that damage, but my suggestion to yourself, Brian, is to allow yourself to grieve about that damage. (02:00:49)

Participant: I have done a fair bit since I talked to you last and one of the things I seem to have become aware of is that I'm getting some from the spiritual realm as well.

Yes, there are huge projections from the spirit world. You see many spirits haven't yet released their viewpoints about sexuality. Many spirits in the first, second and third spheres of the spirit world, who are still religious, have huge judgement. So if you're mediumistic and a homosexual, that makes it even more difficult because you've got these nasty angry spirits projecting at you, "You shouldn't be gay, what's wrong with you?" All these different projections you get from Earth, you get also from the spirit world but because you're mediumistic you can just feel it. It's not like you can run away into a corner up at Maleny and get away from that because there are spirits that follow you from here to there and everywhere you go, and they are like these oppressive fundamentalists who are on Earth. They will keep barking and grabbing, barking and grabbing at you emotionally until you release the emotion of it, and when you release the emotion of it that's when you won't feel it any more. (02:02:02)

So if you allow yourself to address the emotion of that, it will help quite a lot but also when you address the emotion of that, you'll find people around you, even heterosexuals around you will start recognising their role in what they created in you. So you have people who you don't even know who are heterosexual saying, "Boy, I just see how much damage I've projected at homosexual people all my life," and they'll start recognising that. But they probably won't do that until you start releasing the grief that you've been starting to release about that. (02:02:42)

5.5. Dealing with spirit attack

One of the things I must say to all those of you who are mediumistic, and of course many of you are developing mediumistically quite well, is that spirit projections, once you have your mediumistic abilities, are quite often more difficult to deal with than projections from people on Earth. The reason is that you can generally get away from projections from people on Earth in a physical environment but projections from spirits are very, very difficult to avoid. The only way to get away from a projection from a spirit is to deal with the emotional reason within yourself as to why your soul is receiving it. That's the only way you can deal with it. (02:03:26)

So at the moment I've got millions and millions and millions of spirits projecting at me all this stuff about me being Jesus, and the only way for me to deal with it is to feel my emotions about it. I can't protect myself from it. If I were on the Natural Love Path I would surround myself with white light and do all of those kinds of things that people do, but on the Divine Love Path I shouldn't protect myself from it, I should just feel what it generates inside of myself because once I release that, it will have no effect on me. (02:03:59)

You'll get to the point where someone's yelling and screaming at you and it will have no effect at all. You won't feel like yelling and screaming back, you won't feel like hurting them, you'll just look at them maybe a little bit strangely and think, "That's the way it's goes," and even feel compassion for them because they have this fear that they're working their way through. But you won't feel really angry or really upset about it. (02:04:23)

And while I'm on the subject, bearing that in mind, any time you are attacked, if you want to respond in kind or even if you want to defend yourself, you are avoiding an emotional injury. So let yourself feel about what that emotional injury may be. (02:05:09)

The Soulmate Relationship: Session 1 Part 2

6. AJ addresses an issue of love with the audience

One thing I'd like to address with everyone is: what are these sessions all about?

Participant: Love.

They are all about love, and I want to address an issue of love with you all.

There is now nearly 200 hours of stuff on the internet about emotions, emotional clearing, emotional processing, fear, anger, parenting, children, sexuality all these kinds of things. And every one of these sessions that I'm doing is still a new subject, so we're all doing new subjects one after the other. While I do a subject I talk for two hours and then I sit up the front here and I have a never-ending stream of people coming up to me asking me questions. So during that time I don't get to go to the toilet, I don't get to eat or anything. Now who is being loving to whom here? I just want to address that with you because the reason is that many of you feel, " I'll just take my five minutes," and to be frank with you five minutes multiplied by twenty five people happens to be all of the break time. Now I don't want to get into this space where I have to go into some back room away from you all just to eat and go to the toilet and stay away until I come back. What I do want at some point in time, and whether I get it or not is totally dependent upon your feelings, would be to be able to stay here but stay here unmolested.

Now what I would like to do is address the emotional reason why that doesn't happen. Why it doesn't happen is that many of you feel it's an opportunity to ask a personal question of AJ about something going on in your own life, and to be frank with you, why aren't you asking it in a public setting? The reason you are not asking in a public setting is that you are afraid of something, you're afraid of being judged, afraid of being criticized and you're also not allowing yourself to see that you're not actually being loving to me. Because I've just spent two hours giving you my time for free and now you want another five minutes. So you need to look at what's going on there for you emotionally. (02:07:39)

6.1. The Divine Love Path is about God-reliance, not reliance upon AJ

Now what's going on for many of us emotionally is that we want to get some personal assistance with something that we're stuck on, but what have I been trying to talk to you about all through this? This is not about AJ-reliance; this whole thing is not about AJ-reliance, it's about God-reliance. So when I have questions, what do I do first? Do you think I've had hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of questions that I had to ask myself? Of course, now did I come to you and ask them? Why didn't I? Because this is not about my relationship with you, it's about my relationship with God. I need to go to God and ask the questions; I need to get my answers from God. That's what it's all about; not being reliant on one person here on the planet who might die tomorrow. I could walk out of this venue, walk up to the top of the hill there and there might be some fellow who's heard about me on the internet, shoots me dead and what are you going to do then?

Participant: Cry.

You don't need to cry because I'm still alive. So what are you going to do then? Can you see that if it's not about my relationship with God and just about my relationship with a person, sooner or later that's really going to get challenged, isn't it? (02:09:16)

What I'm saying to you is firstly to see this as your relationship with God. If you've got questions that you want to ask me personally, look at all the material that's on the net now and watch all of that first and then after all of that material is presented and you still feel none of it applied to you, then maybe come up and ask me. That's what I feel; that's what I would do myself if I were listening to that material. (02:09:49)

Now I'm not trying to make myself inaccessible. What I'm trying to say to you is that if I give my time to you for two hours, then you need to respect the fact that I've loved you for two hours and I need to have a bit of personal time now to go and have a bit of fruit to eat and maybe go to the toilet, which I needed to do. That way we can come back at the time that I said, which was now twenty five minutes ago, rather than be twenty five minutes late, which affects all of you in the end. It affects all of our discussion then. And this is where we need to look where we often become quite self-absorbed or selfish in our feelings. We want something specifically for ourselves but we're willing to sacrifice the good of everyone for ourselves and this is a very common emotional injury that needs to be addressed. Why do we want to sacrifice other people for our own emotions? Well, in the end it's really for the avoidance of our own emotions in most cases. (02:10:59)

So my suggestion is that if you feel like you need to ask me something, look at why you're asking me rather than God. Now all of you have gone depressed on me! (Laughter) What's all that about? What's going on there? Allow yourselves just to feel about this issue. And one of the reasons why we have stopped staying with people, myself and Mary, is because every time we stay with somebody, they then feel it's a carte blanche basically from dawn to dusk to question me. So I come along and do a presentation and then we stay with somebody and from dawn to dusk there's question after question after question after question and I don't get time to live any of my own life, I don't get time to enjoy Mary, Mary and myself don't get time to do our own emotions and so in the end it got that way that we can't stay with anyone because it was just this constant barrage, if you like, of demands that were coming at us. And it's a very big issue that we face.

You see once we start progressing spiritually and then we get stuck, we want somebody else to get us over that hump. But the truth is that we're stuck because we have resistance inside of ourselves and if we talk to God about our resistance, if we talk to God about what we're afraid of and why we want to resist, then we'll progress much more rapidly on this path. The more dependent you become on me, the less you're on the path. That's very important to understand because this path is not about AJ-reliance, because then it would be your pathway to AJ, and trust me you don't want to do that. What you want is a pathway to God and all I'm doing for you is explaining to you this pathway to God. That's all I'm doing and that is something that you can practise yourself and it's going to require diligence, humility, desire for truth and love in your life. So examine where you're not being loving in your own life.

Now some come up to me and just give me a hug, and of course that's pretty loving, and they ask me how I am but it's very rare. In these sessions I rarely get asked a personal question about how I am. But I get asked lots about "Can you tell me about this, can you tell me about that", lots of stuff that we could easily be asking in this public setting and the only reason we don't is that we're afraid of something; we're afraid of maybe exposing our personal life, we're afraid of exposing our personal emotions, but the Divine Love Path is about being real everywhere. So if you're afraid about exposing your personal emotions, then are you being real now? You need to deal with this, feel this fear that you have instead. (02:14:19)

So from now on I will not be answering any personal questions except in the forum that we're in right now. I'm doing this to show you that you're able to ask questions without judgement in a forum like this because when I notice any judgement coming from anyone, I'll point it out to them that they're judging you. What we want to do is get to the stage where we can be totally open, totally honest and totally free with each other emotionally. That's where we want to go with this and we want to be able to feel that this entire place is just this sanctuary of openness and reality where we're being emotionally real with each other constantly, and where you're not reliant on me to progress to God but rather you just rely on God in your progression to God. (02:15:20)

Now I'm perfectly happy to give you all the truths I know and as I progress there'll be more of those truths that I'll be able to tell you, but don't feel that you need me in order to get to God because these truths are now out there. That's all you need to get to God and that's all you need to attract your soulmate, which is the subject that we've been discussing. So if you can just allow yourself to feel about that then it will help you a lot with those projections. (02:16:15)

One of the things I had to do personally all the way through my own progression was to look at my own feelings that were from lack of love and one of the biggest things that was really hard for me to face was that every time I had an expectation of someone else, I was out of harmony with love. So even if I had an expectation that they treated me nicely, I was out of harmony with love. If I have an expectation for them to love me, I was out of harmony with love. If I had an expectation that they care about me, I was out of harmony with love. What I'm trying to do here with you is start addressing those expectations with you as well. Why do you expect these things? Why do you expect I can actually sit up the front and talk for two hours and then also give you personal attention? Can you imagine that as this grows, and it's going to grow, what is going to finish up happening? There's going to be a million people emailing AJ and then after a while, you're going to have a million people emailing you because you know me. Are you going to be able to handle that? No, you're not, and nor am I in physical terms going to be able to handle that. (02:17:42)

So I'm not saying this out of pride or anything, I'm just saying that the truth grows. When the truth is spoken and is told it grows. It's going to grow. This is why it's growing; it's going to continue to grow. You're going to be people in the end who will be looked upon just like you're looking upon me at the moment, and I'm saying you're going to need to resist it just as much as I'm trying to resist it with you because in the end this is not about you, it's about the relationship with God of whoever is contacting you. All you need to do is tell the truth of that and then they need to desire something from that. (02:18:30)

6.2. An example of a lady with cancer who has unloving expectations of others

Participant: Hello AJ. I'll be truthful and honest if I may right now. I have watched all the DVD's quite frequently in a lot of my free time. The last time I said something in public I squirmed and I'm squirming right now so that's a real problem. However, after what you just said I'm still waiting for the chance possibly to convey a message to you from Jacquie, my very close friend. A lot of people in this room know her, she's actually dying and possibly in a fortnight's time she won't be with us. She wanted me to tell you she could have emailed probably about six weeks ago when she first knew and she felt that wasn't personal enough just emailing you and each time I see her, she says, "Oh Jeanette would you be able to just tell AJ that I'm dying." Now I committed today so now I'm doing it in public because it's the only way to do it. I knew when I was standing there waiting for you for twenty five minutes or whatever it was, I knew I was doing something I shouldn't do because you need your food but I had this commitment now... (02:19:51)

And this is one of your emotions, Jeanette.

Participant: And I'm doing it now and feeling a bit stupid.

It's really good you mention this. Oftentimes we feel drawn in to doing something for friends that they will not do for themselves. Now this is going to sound really harsh and you should know me well enough by now that I'm not a very harsh person but it's still going to sound quite harsh. It doesn't matter if the person's dying or not, whenever they are demanding something that you do for them that they won't do for themselves or they don't have a desire to do for themselves, they are trying to manipulate and control you. So she is. When she first learned that she was dying six weeks ago she was certainly able to contact me, but she didn't. Who knows, I might have visited her if she'd done so, agreed? I might have and the question is, "Why didn't I?" Why didn't that happen? (02:21:16)

She's dying from cancer of the lungs.

Participant: That's right.

And this is something that is also going to sound very harsh. We talked about cancer in a session when we went travelling; I did half a talk about cancer. Cancer is a suppressed projection of anger towards other people in order to control them so that you do not have to feel the feeling within yourself. (02:21:45)

The feeling she has is one of deep grief within herself; this is why it's affecting her chest. She has very deep grief within herself but she doesn't want to feel it and she wants everyone else to feel it with her, or for her, and this is why she hasn't. One of the reasons she asked you to tell me this is that she wanted to know why she had it. (02:22:05)

Participant: Yes that's right.

And this is why she has it: because she wants other people to do things for her and she pressurises them, just like she's pressurising you into doing this for her. And it hooks into one of your emotional injuries, which we can talk about in a minute if you want. And it pushes you into doing something for her because she's unwilling to feel something for herself. And so what I'm saying is that if she contacted me six weeks ago, we might have been able to talk about what the emotion was and by now she might not even have the cancer because that's how fast things can change if you want to deal with the emotion of it. This emotion that is affecting her chest is related to sadness that she doesn't want to feel, and instead she actually wants to control other people rather than feeling this sadness. It's really a very angry type of a controlling projection she has on others. (02:23:15)

Now because she judges that anger and the control, she would find it very hard to admit to that and you even find it really hard to hear what I'm saying to you about it because you feel that I'm actually being harsh or hard on her. All I'm doing is saying the truth about it, that's all. If you contacted me six weeks ago we could have talked about this but obviously now it's quite advanced. (02:23:47)

Participant: Yes.

6.2.1. Asking someone to do something that you do not want to do yourself is unloving

When anybody else tries to get you to do something for them, or you feel drawn into doing something for someone else because they seem to want you to do it for them because they don't do it for themselves, there are always some very heavy projections coming at you that you are hooking into through some addiction of your own. So I can just sit here and project something at you about this auditorium, I can project an emotion at you if I choose to do so and if any of you are sensitive, some of you will eventually start to get up and do what I want without my even saying a word. (02:23:41)

For instance some of you are a bit cold, some of you are a bit hot; now I can hook into that and project at you, "Turn off the air conditioner." I could just do a simple thing like that and one of you will eventually get up and turn off the air conditioner for me. Was I loving to you? No. And I don't have to say a word and it can all happen. I can even think, sometimes I have even seen people do this, "Wow that's really great, I'm so powerful, aren't I such a powerful person being able to do that?" But it's not harmonious with free will or love of others. (02:25:23)

So we have to look at why we feel so strongly that we can get other people to do things for us. I spent thirty minutes talking to somebody in the break about this issue and she did not want to admit that she was projecting that others should have done things for her. And so my suggestion is, when you have a desire that others do something for you, look very strongly at what is motivating it inside of them and yourself. So what hook do you have into doing it? If you go ahead and do it, what do you feel after it's done? Some of you may feel, "I did something for someone; isn't that wonderful?" and you feel good about yourself. Sometimes some of you feel resentment, or whatever, but the issue is to look at the emotion, look at what's going on inside of ourselves when we have these interactions going on with others. (02:26:22)

What I would like to see is the entire audience here of people actually taking full responsibility for their own lives in every possible way. Full responsibility for your own life materially, full responsibility for your own life with relationships, full responsibility for your own life sexually, full responsibility for your own life in a spiritual sense in your relationship with God; every single sense. But for many of us we don't want to do that yet - we want other people to do that for us and it's a big emotional injury we have on this planet. This is why we have a lot of the problems on the planet with regard to love because we want other people to do things for us all the time that we are unwilling to do for ourselves much of the time. (02:27:22)

6.3. Some addictions can be released without grieving

Participant: With some of those addictions, I've found in my own progression that I've just stopped doing them, but I haven't really grieved anything around them. So I feel I'm growing a bit in love but there's not really any grieving going on. What's going on there? (02:27:37)

A lot of times when dealing with addictions we don't even need to grieve. A lot of times all we need to do is face the truth and we'll automatically do things differently from that moment. But the truth does have to be felt. So it's not something where we can state the truth intellectually and then it will change but rather the truth will be felt emotionally in us and then all of a sudden that will cause a shift in us and we won't do that anymore and we won't even desire to do it anymore.

6.4. Any demand towards another person is unloving

Look at where you feel desire to do something because if you still desire to do it then the emotional error is yet to be released, so let yourself connect to the error. Many of us still have these demands that we place upon others all of the time. The demand that others are loving to us; that's a demand. Nobody has to be loving to you. And people say, "But surely at the end we'll all be loving to each other," and I say, "Yes, that's true we will but if you demand it you're not loving." So love does not demand anything ever. (02:28:39)

Some of you may not have heard it, but we had a long talk about these issues and even the issue related to cancer in the discussion in Armidale I think. For those of you who haven't heard it my suggestion is to download that from the net, have a listen to that because what I talk about is the demands that we place on others and how unloving they become.

6.4.1. Love is a gift

I cannot even demand that you treat me nicely - no matter how I treat you. I can treat you beautifully for the rest of our lives that we spend together and yet you can hate my guts and I can't demand that you do anything different. And that's what love will do if we love others; that's what we do because love is a gift. One of the most important things you will ever learn emotionally is that love is a gift. Love is a gift that you give to others that comes from your heart and love is also a gift that others may give to you when they want it to come from their heart. And if I can understand that love is a gift, I will stop placing unloving expectations and demands upon others. (02:30:08)

One of the things that Mary has written around our house is, "Love is a gift." You'll see it actually, if you come to our house, she's got it plastered up near the doorway: "Love is a gift." Every time I demand love from others, I am being unloving because love is a gift. (02:30:31)

6.5. The example of unloving behaviour towards AJ during the break time

Participant: I was thinking to say sorry afterwards but I changed my mind. So sorry - I was the one who pushed hard to talk to you because I felt threatened. She said "I don't feel well," and she wants to go home; and I thought she's going to drop off the Divine Love Path and I have to do something now, I was so threatened. (02:30:56)

Exactly!

Participant: Yes I know.

You were pushing her to do something that she herself didn't want to do.

Participant: Yes. We showed her downstairs to the processing rooms and how to get into emotion by screaming and everything but she still just said no. So I pushed hard with you.

We won't discuss her private life but the issue is that every time you feel compelled to do something for someone else, pushed into it like that, and you were being pushed into it even though she wasn't saying the words, you, Peter and some others were pushed into her talking to me. And it was done in a very unloving way, to myself. (02:31:35)

Participant: Yes, I'm sorry.

Actually the issue is to look at "Why am I responding to this unloving demand?" And do you know that what happened to her in her past and what she wanted to talk to me about actually ended up being this exact issue; about how she's been demanding of others in the past and what happened when she couldn't... (02:32:02)

Participant: So I wasn't loving towards her too in the way that I was responding?

You were responding to the demands of an older woman or a woman who you view is more powerful than yourself.

Participant: Yes, I know... like my mum.

Yeah, look at the relationship of your mum and how it plays out there. Peter needs to look at his relationship with mum in exactly the same way; both have the same injuries and it was hooked into in exactly the same way. (02:32:29)

Participant: I'm sorry about that.

That's okay. That's why you noticed that it didn't happen when you initially wanted it to happen when you first introduced us, her and myself; because I could feel the demand and I didn't want to respond to the demand. (02:32:43)

Participant: Thank you so much.

That's alright and hopefully she may listen to that, I don't know.

Participant: And I look at myself too.

Yeah. But it's very important for you guys who are hooked into that to actually feel what you were hooking into. You were hooking into this feeling from her that she was projecting at you and that feeling is related to how you were manipulated by your mothers. (02:33:15)

6.6. Cancer is created by unloving demands

Participant: AJ, about a month ago I did write to Jacquie and said I would ask you about the cause of her cancer. It never happened because there wasn't a question and answer and so I didn't do it. But would that mean I'm taking on responsibility for her?

Yes. If I had cancer I would want to know the cause myself. I have had so many people come to me asking me for the causes of somebody else's cancer and on a number of occasions that person was sitting right next to them. Now how did that happen? I had one couple come in: the wife had cancer and was going to die I think within three months, and the man was asking me why his wife had cancer. She was sitting there right next to him and I turned to her and said, "Do you want to know why you have cancer?" She looked at me like I was strange and you know who answered the question? "Yes, she does," he said. Can you see how much control she had over him? He was more concerned for her life than even she was so there's a lot in that emotionally. (02:34:36)

And by the way this is very important to understand if you do have cancer; it's very important to understand the causes of cancer. I am not judging you for those causes, they come from emotions within your childhood in most cases where you learned to manipulate other people through certain emotional projections, and that has become such a strong powerful force in you that your own body system becomes so upset by it and you eventually eat yourself away with it. That's what happens with cancer; it's such a damaging thing to do. If you think about it, as soon as we say the word "cancer" everybody around us drops what they're doing almost and says, "Oh isn't that terrible." What happens straight away is it's assumed that I didn't cause it but if I say I've got something else, quite often I don't get the same sympathy, do I? Why is that? Do you hear people with renal failure for example getting the same sympathy as cancer patients? The reason is that most cancer patients are projecting this emotion which causes the demand, which causes society to respond to the emotion. And actually it is the emotion that created the cancer in the first place. So I'm suggesting that we really need to be honest about what is creating these illnesses. (02:36:10)

7. Emotional causes of sexual attraction

Participant: Could I just also get your feedback about the first half of today? I have some shame, which I feel I shouldn't have in this day and age...

I have some too but go ahead.

Participant: Twenty years ago I had a relationship with a man who I thought was my soulmate and we had a child together. He left me after a couple of years and I was really heartbroken. I didn't go out with anybody for seven years and I just grieved. I don't think I got to any core emotions but I grieved. (02:36:44)

You were very sad about the effect.

Participant: Yes. But what happened to me sexually was that I started being attracted to women. I was really ashamed of that because I come from a very traditional redneck sort of family and I didn't ever act on it apart from projecting I guess, and now I'm sort of confused about my sexuality. I think I suppressed it and that seemed to make it dissipate. I feel like I've gone back to being totally heterosexual but I'm not sure because of that shame I had about it. Could you talk a bit about bisexuality and where it comes from and a maybe bit about that with me? (02:37:26)

Sure I can, yes that would be good. Who else would like to know that by the way? There are always people who want to know the same thing. Well, this discussion is going to get back down to the emotions that I wanted to talk to you about, is that okay? So we're off the subject of cancer, we'll talk about it another time, and we'll talk about the subject of emotions and how it affects the soulmate relationship. Let's talk about that. (02:38:00)

7.1. An example of a heterosexual lady who had homosexual feelings

So let's trace the events for yourself in terms of what happened. Firstly, look at your relationships - and you were in a partnership with this man? You lived together? (02:38:24)

Participant: We were in a partnership for a couple of years. We lived near each other but we had a child together and were together for two years.

Okay, now this is very important too, that you lived near each other but you didn't actually live together; these are all important factors. So you lived near each other, had a child together and how did you feel? (02:38:50)

Participant: Well I thought he was my soulmate.

So you obviously felt a deep connection with him?

Participant: Yeah, and it's still not resolved, he hates me to this day and would never have communication about resolving that, and it's really affected our child.

Did you leave him?

Participant: No, he left me.

He left you, okay. Now when he left you grieved for seven years?

Participant: Yes I didn't go out with anybody but I started feeling this attraction towards women, as well as men.

You started to be attracted to women, okay.

Alright, let's look at what's happening from an emotional perspective. Firstly why did you not live with him? (02:40:17)

Participant: He didn't want to. He had two children and he had a lot of grief. His middle child drowned on their property and he never wanted to have a child. Then I became pregnant and he sort of hated me ever since, even though our daughter is a beautiful and wonderful being. (02:40:39)

Can you see straight away your Law of Attraction was that you attracted a man into your life who was resisting a relationship with you? Can you see that? (02:40:45)

Participant: Yes.

So the question then has to be asked, what inside of you would cause you to attract a man into your life who doesn't actually want to have a full and complete relationship with you? What emotion inside of you would cause that?

Participant: Well, my father wasn't present and he wasn't loving to me.

Dad was not present and dad wasn't loving. Can you see straight away you're beginning with this feeling that, "Men are not going to be loving to me," before you even enter into a relationship? There's this unhealed emotion there. Now what kind of a man are you going to attract with that emotion? Obviously the kind of man you got, who did not want to be a present. How did your father feel about children? (02:41:50)

Participant: He had no time for us because my sister died of a brain tumour when she was six and he had a lot of grief. He hated women and he was financially pressured by all her medical bills.

Okay, can you see his resistance towards having children? Your own father's resistance to having children? Can you see what kind of man you attracted? He's resisting having children too now; can you see he didn't want to have children with you either, did he? (02:42:28)

Participant: No he didn't want to have a child but I felt this compulsion to have this child so I think I really forced it and he's just hated me for the last twenty two years even though she is such a beautiful child and woman.

He felt like he was forced into it. Can you see how much of your father was in your partner?

Participant: Yeah, but at the time I didn't see it because my father was heavily violent and aggressive and James is a softer sort of man.

So you dealt with some of the verbal violence and aggression but the rest of it is really your dad.

Participant: Yes.

And can you see how easy it is then to attribute to your partner the role of your ideal man?

Participant: Yeah.

It doesn't feel very good does it?

Participant: Well, honestly I really thought he was my soulmate. It was such a strong love.

Yeah. But was it really?

Participant: Well, he's just been such an arsehole for the last twenty two years so...

It's sort of died, hasn't it?

Participant: Soured.

But the truth is that you attracted a man who is really like your father except for one or two major issues. The violence and aggression wasn't there but aside from that you're attracting a man who's like your father. He doesn't want to fully commit to you, he doesn't want to be present with you in a relationship, he doesn't even want to have a child, and he had his own daughter pass... (02:44:01)

Participant: Son it was, that was my sister who died.

His own child passed though and so therefore he didn't want any other children because of the pain he had of that. Isn't that so similar to your father? Can you see how close that is? Yes?

Participant: Yep.

Now can you see how we can then attribute this group of emotions to our idea of the ideal man?

Participant: Yeah.

Isn't that scary?

Participant: Yes, very scary.

And this is why it's so hard to tell who's your soulmate without working on your own emotions. So now when you look him, what do you feel about this kind of a man? If a man's not present how does that feel to you now? (02:44:46)

Participant: Well it just feels so unloving and disrespectful.

Totally, if he's not loving to you how does that feel for you now? If he doesn't want to commit to you fully, how does that feel now?

Participant: Just horrible. But you see I've felt guilt all these years thinking I must have been this horrible person, that he would hate me so much.

No, he only hated you because he felt the fear of being forced into having a child that he didn't want to have. He's so afraid of dealing with the grief of the loss of his own child that he can't even contemplate feeling that grief, so he'd rather hate you for the rest of your life than feel that grief. It's pretty sad but that's what he's like. (02:45:32)

Now let's take this next step of your question. The next part of your question is, "Why did I then feel attracted to a woman?" Isn't it quite obvious?

Participant: I've had a bit of a bad run with men from my father and brothers, yeah.

7.1.1. Sexual attraction is due to energy flow between people's chakras

Yes and what's so important to understand is that many times our so-called sexual attractions are not really based around sexual attraction or soulmate attraction at all, but rather around avoidance of other types of emotions. (02:45:09)

Now remember in the Sex and Sexuality talks I gave how I said that we have chakras in our body? We have chakra points in our body that are facing outwards from the front and also to the rear. The rear is about intention; the front is about what's actually happening. Now if we're open at a certain area and the other person is closed to the certain area, or in opposite state in that area, then there'll be a flow of energy between the two people. If there's a flow of energy in two chakras, now there's going to start to be a big attraction between the two people. And if there's a flow of energy in three chakras between you, there'll be an even greater flow of attraction. (02:47:01)

Sexual attraction is created by energy flow between the chakras in people

Now, this man had to have a certain set of emotional characteristics that matched your father for you to be attracted to him. So your chakras, your feelings and emotions that generate the energy coming from your chakras have to have certain emotional conditions satisfied in the receiver before you will have a flow of energy from yourself to them. This is what is causing almost all attractions on the planet; we have a certain set of emotional injuries which are very unique to ourselves. You can see how unique they are; it even had to be right down to a child dying and everything. (02:47:42)

Participant: We both had that, yeah.

That's how unique it had to be. And once that emotional state became satisfied by a man, it doesn't even really matter very much what he looks like, although he would probably have to look very similar in physical shape to your father in his prime. And all these different connections start to occur and that's what draws you in; you feel inexplicably connected to this person. And he would have to have the flip side of a lot of these emotional injuries. He would have to be a man who's not present. So you're the giving woman who thinks she wants a present man but actually you don't because your childhood injury dictates that what you want is a blocked-up man, and you feel sexually drawn to a blocked-up man. And you feel sexually drawn to a man who's not quite as loving and doesn't want to fully commit to you. You're sexually drawn to a man who's got no time for children; you're sexually drawn to a man who has even had a death of a child. And that creates this strong, strong binding force, which then triggers your mind into thinking, "Maybe he's my soulmate."

Participant: Oh, I believed it, it wasn't a joke.

Exactly. I understand completely because I've been there myself. I understand completely what this is like. The person matches your own condition so accurately, in terms of its flip side, that all of this energetic reaction occurs between the two of you. And before you know it you're in a relationship and you feel like that person's your soulmate. But there's a high likelihood that he's not your soulmate. But even if they are we can say that they've got a complete mirror injury of your own injuries. (02:49:41)

Now once that is established then we get very hurt. In this relationship what happened for you is that it just triggered more of that childhood hurt that you felt with men, and exposed that childhood hurt that you felt with your father and your brothers' treatment of you. And so now I get into this state of, "Men are just to be avoided." So what's the only thing that's going to connect to me now that I've got that additional emotional baggage? A woman who connects to things similar to my relationship with my mother and that will start triggering certain things inside of me as well and I might even start to feel sexually attracted to that kind of a woman. (02:50:29)

Participant: Yeah, well that's what happened.

Exactly, and so we then say, "Oh well maybe there is such a thing as bisexuality because I've been sexually attracted to men and I've been sexually attracted to women." And in reality even the sexual attraction you had to the man was based on an injury, most probably as well as the sexual attraction you had to the woman. (02:50:51)

7.2. When we open the soulmate part of our soul we will only be attracted to our soulmate

And what I would like to do with all of this discussion is get down to the main point of it, and this is very important for everyone to understand, when you open the soulmate part of your soul, the only person you'll be attracted to is your soulmate.

So if you walk down the street and you're attracted to three women as they walk past, you have not got the soulmate part of your soul open. And if you walk down the street and you're a woman and attracted to three men, it doesn't matter, it's the same deal; you have not got the soulmate part of your soul open. When you've got the soulmate part of your soul open, the only person who you can feel an attraction for is your soulmate.

Now most people who hear that go, "That is so totally out there," and most men in particular go, "No! Us men were created for sex and procreation and all of this stuff and we have to sow our wild oats," and there's this really strong projection that what I've said is not the case. (02:52:15)

The way God designed you is that eventually, once you open the soulmate part of your soul, the only person you can be attracted to is your soulmate. Now for most of us that is a terribly scary feeling. Can you see why? Because basically you are putting your entire sexual life in the hands of this relationship. Now can you see why most people don't want to do that? If it is going to take five years between now and you dealing with a whole group of emotions before you meet your soulmate, that really means five years of celibacy. How many of you are going to handle that? (Laughter) How does that song go? "If you can't be with the one you love honey, love the one you're with." (Laughter) That's the viewpoint of the planet pretty much, isn't it? If you can't make love to the person you really want, then just be with any person who does the job for you. (Laughter) I know maybe that sounds funny, but in the end it's quite sad when you think about it. We're actually compromising our own soul so much because in the end you have an eternal existence. So what's five years out of that? Not very long at all.

Now, if we've got five years where we are actually working through our emotions before we attract our soulmate, that's five years well spent in my opinion. Now for many of us it won't take that long. If you start focussing on some of these soulmate-based emotions and start opening this soulmate part of your soul you'll be surprised that within a year, a year and a half, two years, you'll have come across your soulmate, you'll probably know who it is. If they're in the spirit world they'd be with you, you'd feel them. If they're here on Earth, they'd probably still be with you, you'd feel them; you'll attract them into your life very rapidly. (02:54:37)

7.3. Emotions prevent us from opening up the soulmate part of our soul

The issue that we face, and it's getting back to your question, Louise, and this is very important to understand, is that I have, as a male, a group of emotions that prevent the soulmate part of my soul from opening up and the female, my soulmate, has a group of emotions that prevent the soulmate part of her soul opening up. (02:55:04)

Emotions in men and women prevent the soulmate part of their souls from opening up

Mary had a whole set of emotions, didn't you, babe, that prevented this soulmate part of your soul from opening up. Grief right the way through to feelings like, "I want to have control of my life, I want to have control of who I meet, it's not fair," all of those kind of emotions. And I had a whole group of emotions, mostly grief because I was unwilling to feel my grief about the loss of my soulmate relationship. Many of you are unwilling to feel the same kind of grief that got into you from your parents and so forth from their relationships, and those emotions block you from attracting your soulmate into your life. (02:55:46)

So what do I do? Do I do what AJ did some of the time and that is to go searching for your soulmate? Or do I focus instead on dealing with my emotional condition that will attract my soulmate? Obviously the second one makes a lot more sense because it's also a lot more in harmony with the soul. Your soul is much more powerful than most of us realise. The instant you deal with a group of emotions regarding your soulmate will be the instant your soulmate will change as well. It's sort of strange because your soulmate starts making choices that they wouldn't have made before, and a lot of times they don't even understand why. It's only when you get together and discuss what happened that you start realising, "Ah, when I was doing that, you went through this and when I was feeling that you were doing that. Isn't that amazing?" You start realising the linkages that have actually occurred between yourself and your soulmate that have been there all that time but have just been prevented from being experienced because of the emotional injuries that each half has. (02:56:51)

8. Emotions that block the soulmate relationship

So getting back to this discussion then, I could focus on dealing with my injuries as a male and if you're a female you could focus on dealing with your injuries as a female. There are two types of injuries that I'm going to have to deal with here. As a male I am going to have to deal with what it feels like for me to be a male. In other words I'm going to have to deal with my injuries about myself. (02:57:28)

For example, some of the injuries that I've had to deal with are that most of my life I have felt very, very responsible for women's pain. This has come from observing two thousand years of women's pain and feeling like I didn't do enough in the first century to stop it. But it also comes from the fact that after I passed in the first century, my soulmate experienced huge amounts of pain right down to being tortured to death, which I have felt responsible for in this life. And so I had to deal with all these things, "I'm to blame, I'm this, and I'm that, as a male." I had to deal with all these issues inside myself. I also have to deal with the injuries that I have towards the opposite gender, or if I am in a homosexual soulmate situation, towards the same gender. They are the two main things. (02:58:39)

Now in amongst all of that is a huge set of beliefs that I have, belief systems about all sorts of problems and issues that I've got, even belief systems about being controlled and manipulated by relationships. In other words, I might say to myself that I want to be in a relationship but I might have an injury where I feel alone all the time which I need to release. I might have an injury at the same time that I don't want to be vulnerable and open emotionally to the other person, the other gender, which I will also need to release. (02:59:19)

Can you see that when you start looking at the soulmate side of a relationship you can start making lists of emotional injuries, and in my case I made lists of thirty and forty pages of injuries that I could see I had towards meeting my soulmate. Now when you make that kind of a list you feel a bit frightened at the beginning (laughter) because you sort of think, "When am I ever going to sort that issue that out?" But you'll be amazed at how rapidly a lot of those injuries can dissipate by actually connecting with causal emotions, because a lot of them will dissipate very, very rapidly. (03:00:04)

Don't be afraid to come to a full recollection of your own state. Most of us are very afraid of that. We get freaked out about that. We worry about that. It's just a list. All it is, is a list that God can help us work through to get to a point where we no longer have blockages towards our soulmate.

So my suggestion is to look at and do what you've just done here for us, Louise; basically you have listed one of your relationships, you listed what your father was like and how this was similar to your relationship, you then believed he was your soulmate and you could see the relationship going on there. And then after that you felt very hurt. That caused you to shut down quite heavily towards the male, which you can recognise now, and that then causes you to flick into this feeling, which is, "I need to be attracted to someone. I need physical affection, I need love, I need attention, I need security. I need these other things. Where do I get them from if they're not going to come from a male?' They have to come from a female. (03:01:12)

Participant: I didn't act on it because I was ashamed of it.

Of course, yeah. And there's no need to be ashamed of it, the key is just to see the dynamic that's going on. So I would then work through my shame of being connected to the female. Allow yourself to work through that but also allow yourself to work through all those injuries about the male; how domineering they were, how they didn't want to be with you, all those other things. (03:01:37)

9. Developing a pure longing or desire for our soulmate

Now when I talk about opening the soulmate part of your soul, there's another very, very specific thing we need to do besides dealing with our emotional injuries towards our soulmate's gender, and this is learning about what I would call having a pure longing or desire. (03:01:59)

Now desire and longing is such an important thing to understand. Many of our desires or longings are not as pure as we'd like to think they are. For example, "I'm lonely. I'm so lonely, I'm Mr Lonely, ain't got nobody to call my own." You know how that song goes, you've heard that one? And I'm just there in this loneliness, feeling this loneliness and so what am I projecting at that moment? I want someone to make me not feel lonely any more. I don't want to feel my loneliness. I want to have somebody else to help me not feel alone. That's the emotion I'm avoiding. Have I got a pure longing for my soulmate in that condition? No. I've got a projection that I would actually classify as a nasty projection at my soulmate that my soulmate has the job to make me not feel alone. (03:03:36)

Now, your soulmate doesn't actually have that job. Your soulmate has no job whatsoever. In other words your soulmate is not there to cook for you, clean for you, love you, make you feel not lonely anymore or any of those other things. Your soulmate is not even there to love you because remember every time I have an expectation or demand upon someone else, I am being unloving. So, my soulmate has the choice to give me the gift of their love and they are allowed to choose to not do that too by the way. And I have the choice to give my soulmate the gift of my love. And I won't even expect that she is faithful to me. I won't expect that he does what I want. I won't expect that he goes out and gets money to work for us as a family. I won't expect that he builds me my house. I won't expect that she cooks me my meal. I won't expect any of those things. I won't even expect her or him to love me. I will just give them the gift of my love and enjoy when they give me the gift of theirs. (03:05:06)

If you imagine yourself in that state, now we've got a pure longing. We can have a longing or a desire for somebody and it's actually a desire to give them all of ourselves. Now can you see how even that can be tainted quite a lot? Because many of us don't have a desire to give somebody all of ourselves, we don't even desire to know all of ourselves, let alone give all of ourselves to someone else. We then generally have a desire to not have you know this about me; "I don't want you to know that about me. I don't want you to know that ten years ago I did this really shameful thing or this really disturbing thing that I still find disturbing." So I just close that bit of my life off to you, now there's this bit left, and then I decide that's not going to be the right colour for you either, so I just close that bit of my life off and then I start locking bits of my life off because I'm afraid to be totally open and vulnerable and exposed. (03:06:14)

Well you've seen what happened to me, you see what happens to me when I expose myself to you. What happens? Most of the time I get attacked and abused and all sorts of things happen, don't they? I've been totally open with you about my life and what has everyone done with that? They grab this bit and manipulate that bit and do this bit to that and do this to that and before you know it there's this terrible attack coming at you. How do you feel about that? Well if you were open and vulnerable you would just let yourself feel about it, that's what you'd do. Now imagine if your own soulmate does that do you? Judges you, does this, does that. You're going to need to feel all that, and how hurtful is that going to feel? It's going to feel pretty tough. But you're still going to need to do that if you want to stay open. You see most of us have deep emotional reasons why we don't want to be completely open to another person, and we need to face them because when we face them, we will then have a pure longing for this other half of ourselves. That's what will happen. (03:07:32)

9.1. An example of a man who thinks he knows his soulmate but is still attracted to other women

Participant: Just back a little bit earlier you said that if your soulmate part opens you won't be attracted to others. What if you've still got an emotional injury that causes you to continue to feel lust?

Okay, if you feel lust for another person and you know they're not your soulmate, so that means the soulmate part of your soul is not completely open yet. That's what it means. It also means that if you have the courage you can actually look at that emotion. You can say, "Alright, I know this person's not my soulmate but I feel sexually attracted to them, so what's going on here? What is it about this person?" So you start investigating it. You don't ignore it and make it all go away in your mind, you investigate it. You go, "Alright, what's it about? She's actually about five foot three or four." Describe and look at the person completely, what do you see? What do you feel from the person? What is it that's attracting you? But you don't go up and need to talk to them about it with them necessarily, although you could if you wanted to. But you don't have to; you can often feel all of this inside of yourself in the privacy of your own home. You can go through the whole thing. "Alright, what attracted me? Okay, she's five foot three, she's quite slim, she's blond, or brunette. She's quite pretty maybe. What's the feeling I get from her? A feeling that she's self assured or whatever other feeling?" And then look at yourself and ask yourself, "Alright, what in that attracts me to her? What am I looking for here? What do I want from this lady?" (03:09:19)

Participant: Because I've been gifted with the knowledge of who my soulmate is. I still do have sexual injury but I'm pretty confident I know who it is.

Well, my suggestion is if you're confident you know who it is, stop all relationships.

Participant: Yes, I've done that.

And then focus on dealing with every single emotional injury you have within yourself regarding the opposite gender. A lot of them will be sexual where you'll feel a sexual attraction for somebody who you know is not your soulmate. So you'll feel the sexual attraction; let yourself feel that. Don't necessarily enter the new relationship straight away but just let yourself feel the emotional injuries. (03:10:02)

Participant: I just feel like I want to start to know her. I've sent her an email and told her everything but I haven't heard back.

Yeah, well obviously your soul is saying, "You're not ready to know her yet."

Participant: I don't want to know her sexually. I just want to get to know her.

Well, that's not true either; you do want to know her sexually. (Laughter).

Participant: Not yet. I know that that would happen but I don't just want to jump into bed with her or anything.

You don't?

Participant: No, I don't think I do.

You don't think you do? So why would you then have these projections of lust towards other women? So if you're totally open to this person who you feel is your soulmate and you know who she is, if you were totally open to your soulmate, you wouldn't be feeling projections of lust towards other women. And the key is to not judge it; the key is to say, "I am projecting feelings of lust towards other women." So therefore there's a part of this soulmate connection that is not open.

Participant: Can it not open until you deal with the emotion?

It will not open until you deal with the emotion.

Participant: But it might be partially open?

(Laughter) It's like every other connection, Rick; it slowly opens as you deal with each emotion. So yes, it can be partially open. But what you want is for it to be open enough in the end so that you can meet up together and start to converse and start to develop a relationship, isn't it? And to do that you need to deal with this whole group of different injuries. (03:11:32)

Now how do you think your soulmate's going to feel when you're walking along hand in hand with her and projecting lust at other women? How's she going to feel with that? (03:11:42)

Participant: Hopefully, she wouldn't feel it. (Laughter) I'm only joking. I want to deal with it. I'm trying to get in there.

Now can we just stop there for a moment? The, "Hopefully she wouldn't feel it." What you're basically saying is hopefully your soulmate wouldn't feel who you are.

Participant: I would be open with her about all of my injuries.

Yeah, but I'm talking about the actual situation; you're walking along hand in hand, you project sexually and you're hoping that she won't feel that.

Participant: Well, I'm sort of hoping that I wouldn't have to tell her every single time. Like, "I've got these injuries and this is what's going on and I do project and don't mean it, I'm trying to work through it." Like, what else do you do? (03:12:21)

You do mean it. If you're projecting sexually at another person, you do mean it. We've got to be honest here, you do mean it and if she's feeling it, you wanting for her not to feel it, is also you wanting to cover yourself over. Can you see that? In other words you do not want to see some of your own shame about it. Straight away that's going to harm the connection between you and your soulmate because the connection between you and your soulmate is only going to work when you are both really open and truthful with each other emotionally. That's the only time it's going to work. (03:12:58)

Participant: I'm not sure how you would do that. Like you walk around all day saying, "I just projected, I just projected"?

Yeah, you do.

Participant: Oh you do? Really?

Because you're totally open and vulnerable in every single moment towards this person. Your whole goal is to become at-one with her, and how are you ever going to become at-one with her if you can't be open and vulnerable at every single moment you're with her? (03:13:23)

Participant: Yeah, I'm trying to deal with it before I meet her. I've got a feeling I'm going to meet her soon and I really want to get in there and I am struggling to get in there.

Yeah, okay, so the key is to understand that most of the injuries that we seem to think are sexual in nature are often not. They are related to these things from our childhood and from our relationship with our parents. Every time you feel a feeling of lust in you towards another person who you feel is not your soulmate, what you need to do is come back to yourself and start asking yourself why it's there. (03:13:58)

Participant: I think I know what it is. I didn't feel loved by my mum or my father but it's mainly to do with mum.

How do you feel about yourself with that?

Participant: I don't know. I just don't feel good I suppose.

About yourself as a male? Do you feel attractive as a male to your soulmate?

Participant: I don't know. I'm not really sure.

What you're doing, I feel, is going around projecting at a woman a feeling of lust in order for her to feel a sexual attraction to you and that way what happens is you then feel like... (03:14:40)

Participant: I'm honoured.

"Somebody wants me sexually, they want me, they love me," and there's an equation between want and love which is not true really, but there's also this feeling that, "I'm projecting sexually in order to get back this feeling that I'm wanted." So your addiction is your wanting to feel that you're wanted by a woman.

Participant: Yep, and that's why I cut off that addiction and then I found myself flirting with a guy because I just wanted that feeling so much (laughter).

Exactly! That's how strong it is. So let yourself feel it rather than getting the flirtations happening and everything, let yourself feel how strong that emotion is inside of you of how much you need this feeling. (03:15:19)

9.1.1. Working through the resistance to core emotions that cause sexual projections

Participant: I'm not sure how to feel that, I don't get that, how do you feel that?

Well you have to feel the opposite emotion, "I'm not wanted." That's the emotion you need to feel.

Participant: Yeah.

So it's the flip side emotion that we need to feel in most cases.

Mary: Rick, I just feel like there's a lot of resistance to actually feeling it. So go with that, feel your resistance about it, like your desire to hope that she doesn't notice. O the idea that it seems ridiculous to say so every time that you sexually project; this is because you don't want to be that connected to that emotion. If you did, you'd be on it all of the time. You're trying to physically change things which is great. However, you've identified what the emotion is but there's obviously still some really big resistance there Try and focus on that. (03:16:09)

For all of you, one thing to bear in mind is that there is a core emotion and on top of the core is the resistive emotion or the blocking emotion if you like.

And on top of that is the action that we take, like anger and so forth, to prevent us from seeing the block. When you get to the blocking emotion, there will be reasons why you're blocking this. Let yourself look at the reason why you're blocking it. One of them is shame; you feel ashamed of yourself for having lustful projections at other women, that's one blocking emotion. But also there's this addiction to the feeling of wanting to be wanted and there's a shame about you being addicted to it; you feel ashamed that you're addicted to something. (03:17:04)

Mary: Also I think that for you to feel the unwanted feeling would feel very powerless, and part of the projection is feeling powerful. So you can look at that emotion for yourself as well.

Once you work your way through the group of blocking emotions, the underlying causal emotion, which is this "I'm not wanted by a woman" emotion, will just come out of you. You'll just grieve it for a few days and it will come out of you.

Participant: I had a little bit of a cry and it felt like I was just put on Earth to make my mother feel loved because she never felt loved. Is that the emotion? Is that the one?

That's exactly why. It often happens that our parents have children in order to have their addictions met. If you can it imagine it from an emotional perspective, you've got this adult projecting at you that you've got to love them but they don't have to love you. That feels pretty rotten as a child and what finishes up happening is that as the child we hook into that emotionally. We project all this stuff and we do whatever they want in order to be loved. We're trying to be loved and we do whatever they want in order to be loved. But whenever we stop that projection at them, whenever we stop doing what they want, all of a sudden we're not loved again. And it's very, very emotionally damaging to us. (03:18:23)

Participant: It's very painful. I had a bit of a cry the other night and I feel if I could have just stayed in there I could have got rid of all of the rest of it and it could have been the causal.

With all of these issues there are often linked causal emotions. One of the linkages is this thing that you were there for mum's pleasure basically. Not from a sexual perspective but from a point of view that you were there to love her. I've heard so many women want to have five or even ten children and why do they want to have so many children? So that they're loved. Interesting that the kids have come in to our seminar all of a sudden and are talking loudly and everything. Many of you don't want to hear that and you are feeling, "I want to be distracted, I want to be distracted," so in they come en masse because it's a big emotion in many of us; that we were there for the parent but the parent hasn't been there for us. (03:19:22)

And so then we learn as adults, "If I project sexually at somebody one of them will eventually notice me and project something back at me and all of a sudden she wants me." You're going around "Want me, want me, want me," and this is why the projection "Want me, want me" is there. And as soon as one of them feels like they might want you, bang I've got a connection and there's feeling of lust in me or whatever because there is actually a connection going on between me and that person at that particular moment that is sexual in nature. And I've all of a sudden got this connection happening and it's all because of an emotion that was created in my childhood before I even developed sexually. So it really has nothing to do with sexuality, it has everything to do with this unhealed emotion, and I'm willing to barter sex for it. I'm willing to actually project sexually onto the other person in order to get back the real emotion that I'm looking for, the real addiction, which is, "I want somebody to want me. I want someone to need me. I want someone to love me. I want someone to care for me."

For many women it's, "I want to be made to feel safe." Many of you ladies have entered relationships for no other reason than to feel safe, and whenever a big strong burly man comes along with a bit of weight on him you feel safe, and so you enter into a relationship with him. And if a short man comes along, you're not even interested. And that short man might be your soulmate and you're just not interested. Well there's short men on the planet, isn't there? They have to be somebody's soulmate, don't they? (03:21:12)

10. Coming to terms with the lack of love in the world

Participant: Since I opened myself emotionally, I feel so much pain. We talk about soulmates today but I have the feeling in my family relationships, with my friends, with everybody that there is no love. I don't have love and nobody has love. I'm even wondering why somebody's smiling at me today. It's a feeling I've had for many, many weeks. It's getting stronger and stronger because I just feel everything is based on needs and we're just feeding our needs all of the time, which I do all the time as well. Then I try to go away but I'm running away because I know there is no love, only God, and when you say maybe you can have no sex for five years, I can see that but I cannot see life without love. The only thing I see is God's Love but I don't understand how God can see us loving each other. I don't understand anymore; how can we love each other? I'm so lost with that. (03:22:29)

Can I answer some of those questions? Firstly when you do come to know the truth about the world we live in, one of the biggest emotions you go through is deep disillusionment about love, and the reason we go through this deep disillusionment about love is that we do come to see the truth, which is that there is hardly any relationship on the planet that is loving. In fact almost all relationships on the planet are based upon these things – needs and addictions. (03:23:02)

Now, unfortunately what it needs is for a group of people to break the pattern, but the first group of people who break the pattern are going to feel the most unloved. So that means that many of us who are in this first fruits of this change are going to have deep feelings of being unloved by the rest of society as a result, family, friends and everyone; you are going to feel that because you'll notice it. (03:23:38)

Participant: And I actually feel like I'm not able to love either or I do sometimes but fall short and then come back to...

And then you're back into the addiction.

Participant: Yeah, and then I just go away because I just want to process my own feelings but that's what I do now. It's so difficult.

But can I assure you of something? You will get through this phase, you will.

Participant: I hope so because I even have to do it and I had this feeling once I went away for two days on my own and I found this place of even if there is no love, how am I going to do this? If I'm not able to love myself, not able to love God or people, then I cannot survive but even if I kill myself then still I'm going to the other side and I feel like I'm so stuck somewhere, I don't have any escape. (03:24:33)

10.1. On the Divine Love Path we can reach a state where we only need God's Love

And the key is to feel that emotion like you did; to feel it and then to talk with God about it. Talk to God about that emotion because after a while God will become so real to you and you will feel God's Love enter you in such a real form that you'll start realising that you actually don't need to have love from any person other than God. (03:24:56)

Participant: Yeah, but then why are we supposed to be on our own all the time? Is that what God wants?

No of course that's not what God wants but the truth is that when we're on the Divine Love Path we will get to a state where we can be alone and still feel like we are loved, loved by ourselves but also loved by God, and you do not need anyone else to love you. (03:25:20)

You see the fact is that the majority of us believe with all of our hearts that we need someone else to love us to survive. I'll say it again, shall I? We believe with all of our hearts that we need someone else to love us in order to survive. But actually we don't. That feels so terrible when I say that to you, doesn't it? Can you feel that in you? In many of you, you have that terrible feeling of, "No that feels wrong to me. That doesn't feel right to me," and that's the emotional injury being triggered with the statement. (03:26:05)

The truth is that God is the only person who will love you completely through this entire process. Not even your soulmate is going to love you completely through this entire process. There are going to be many times when your soulmate gets upset with you through this process. There are going to be many times when you get upset with your soulmate through this process. God is the only person who is going to love you through this process completely. When you feel that, that is when you'll have the most sense of love of self as well, and when you feel that you'll also have the most bliss. But getting from where I am now to that location there are lots of painful emotional experiences to experience, and one of the largest is that, "I am not loved and I've never been loved." (03:26:59)

10.2. Most people on Earth have never truly been loved

For the majority of you, you have never been really loved in your entire life. You've had bits of love along with quite a lot of addictions aimed at you, but there's never been a time when you've been consistently loved. If we look at love, love is a gift. How many times were you just given the gift of love without an expectation in return? How many times in your life? For many of us we could name on one hand how many times in our life that happened, where we actually remember being given a gift without somebody expecting anything back from us. And particularly in our closer relationships, we end up having this interaction of addictions. It might start out that we felt like giving but then we started noticing, I'm giving and I'm giving and I'm giving but I'm not getting much back, and then we start getting hurt about that; it starts triggering these childhood emotions that were created in us. (03:28:08)

So the key thing is to allow yourself to feel these really deep emotions. They are huge emotions, core emotions to your progression.

Participant: But even when I know that I still...

Try to get out of it, yeah.

Participant: It's just the hardest thing.

On the Divine Love Path you are going to experience emotions that you have never experienced before. They are going to be the hardest things you've ever experienced, and the key is to just come to terms with that emotionally, that this is going to happen. (03:28:47)

And so, yes, your whole life is often governed by addictions; for most of us, in our entire life we have never really been loved. Now you imagine for many of us that means in fifty years I have never really been loved, for sixty years or seventy years I have never really been loved. That's a long time to not be loved, to feel totally alone, and then once we grieve those emotions we start getting into this other place where we realise that God's Love has been there waiting and just wanting to be given to us. But actually we've also been denying love our entire life. In other words by our own addictions, we have been preventing ourselves from being loved for much of our life and when we start going through that group of emotions that's pretty tough too. (03:29:44)

And if we allow ourselves to feel those groups of emotions, we will heal this part that connects us and particularly if we deal with the inter-gender stuff we will connect with our soulmate. But even if we deal with the other stuff, we'll connect with other people and you will start noticing loving transactions. (03:30:01)

Many of you now have this feeling of overwhelming gratitude when you're loved don't you? You notice that? You'll be meeting with somebody and then all of a sudden somebody does something for you, someone that you might not even know. They're not on the Divine Love Path or anything but they just do something for you and you just feel like crying because they did it for you without having any addiction to getting something from you in return, and you just get overwhelmed by it; very powerful. (03:30:42)

10.3. Truly loving relationships give love as a gift and have no demands

10.3.1. The example of a lady opening up to her husband

Participant: This morning, AJ, my husband and I had a conversation. I've obviously just started on the Divine Love Path and so everything is just emotional and in turmoil at the moment. And so we got really real and honest with each other about our past twelve years together and we both came to the realisation this morning that all of our injuries are based on not being loved. So we sat there together and felt that and realised how perfect our injuries were to come together. Of course we have thought that we've been soulmates for the past twelve years and so I said to him that if we've had this beautiful connection that we thought was love, imagine what it would be like once we do actually heal our injuries. It was just huge. I said to Mary before that I have a fear of him not being my soulmate after we worked through that but for years the love that will come from that will be just amazing because it already has been. (03:31:41)

Yes, that's wonderful and it's exactly right. We start acknowledging to ourselves that all of our anger with our partner and all of our sadness with our partner is in the end all about just not feeling loved inside of yourself. Now, remember that this is also part of, "Do I demand to be loved?" So there's that side of it as well because a lot of the times we feel, "If my partner only gives me this love, then I'll be fine and I'll give them the love they want and they'll be fine." But that's not actually the case either. The time we're going to be fine is when I no longer demand anything in love from them and they no longer demand anything in love from me, and we both give the gift of love to each other; that's when it gets to be fine.

Participant: I realised how I had such an expectation of him; because I believe he's my soulmate he needs to love me and I need to love him.

And he needs to treat you a certain way and do certain things and so forth.

Participant: Because that's how, in my mind, soulmate relationships should be.

Exactly, and the soulmate relationship should be that they should not need to do anything for you at all.

Participant: I'll get there.

And you can see how powerful that's going to be if you don't need to do anything for him and he doesn't need to do anything for you, and both of you are willing to give the gift of love to each other That's when you have the most power in the relationship. That's when the relationship is the most powerful and all the addictions do is reduce the power of the relationship, they reduce the love in the relationship. (03:33:22)

10.4. Loving relationships are based upon truth

Participant: I feel like my whole relationship has been based on the addictions and I haven't really focussed too much on the soulmate thing - or I don't think I have. I've been trying to focus on my relationship with God and just work through Laws of Attraction to get to that point. So I guess I've put that aside because I am married and I have been with him for nearly twenty years. However if he's not willing to work through his emotions, which I feel that I'm projecting on him as well... I've got about fifty five things to tell you but I want to try and narrow it down and it's really hard. (03:34:15)

Can I just stop you for a moment there? I understand where you're going with it all. By the way, many times you guys ask questions, the reason I smile a bit is that I already know what you're asking me and you don't need to keep going really very much but its good sometimes for yourself to connect emotionally, which is why I let it keep going sometimes.

You're avoiding quite a lot, to be frank. The reason you're avoiding it is this issue of security. Many of you are doing a number of different things. Firstly you're saying to yourselves, "Alright, I'm in a relationship already, I don't know whether the person's my soulmate or not." Well, that's immaterial to be frank. The truth is that you have attracted this relationship into your life and not knowing whether this person is your soulmate means that you have not opened the soulmate part of your soul. That's what it means. It doesn't mean they are doing something wrong, it means you haven't opened the soulmate part of your soul. So what do we do with that? We take steps to open the soulmate part of our soul.

Participant: Will it be separate for everybody or is it just our own personal injuries that we need to work through? So a set of things or will it be different for me?

Well, remember everything gets back to two things, well three things really. Do you know what they are? Three things - I keep reminding everyone of this - three things; what's the first one? Love. The second one is truth and the third one is humility; that's what it all gets back to.

10.4.1. The example of a woman staying in a relationship for security

Let's apply this to the question you are now asking. Do you tell the truth to the man you're with about everything you feel at every moment? (Laughter) (03:36:13)

Participant: I'd like to be able to say yes but I know you're going to say, "No, you don't."

Well no, you answer for yourself. If you feel he's not listening to you, do you say, "You're not listening to me?"

Participant: No, I don't.

Okay, so how can you enter a truthful relationship? Your soulmate relationship is going to be the most truthful relationship you have ever had, ever. Every single thing that you withhold from your current partner needs to be addressed. So from now on you don't withhold a single thing from your partner. (03:36:56)

Participant: I think I'm afraid because when I do address that he's not being loving to me, he projects back at me. Then I go into that emotion. But I don't do it all the time because I'm probably in fear.

If he's being unloving to you, why aren't you saying to him, "You're being unloving to me"?

Participant: Because he'd tell me to get fucked probably.

So, why are you still there?

Participant: Yeah, I know I tried to jump...

If he's going to tell you that over and over again, every time you say something about him being unloving, and he tells you to get f'd, then is this a loving situation?

Participant: No.

So why are you still there?

Participant: Because I'm feeling that if he is my soulmate...

No that's not why you're still there.

Participant: Okay let's try number two... Oh God...

You're still there because you...

Participant: I want to feel secure and I want to feel loved and safe and all that and...

That's why. You are addicted to....

Participant: I've known that but I've thought, "Do I really have to leave this whole thing to feel that?" (03:38:23)

No you don't have to leave the whole thing to feel that but may I say to you, if a person is swearing at you and telling you to get f'd, then you should perhaps get f'd for a bit and see how it works out. You know what I mean? (Laughter) In other words look at your own addiction as to why you can sit there and take that abuse. There's a reason that you can sit there and take it. (03:38:49)

Participant: Yeah, I guess I've just tried to make it work because for the past six months...

Why? Because you want...?

Participant: Because I want security. Okay.

What would happen if he said get f'd and you get f'd? Sorry, I'm trying to make the videos for children.

Participant: Yeah, sorry I started the get f'd thing, sorry.

It's alright. What's the only reason you'd be staying?

Participant: Yeah, I guess it comes back to security. It all comes back to that.

Exactly, so let yourself acknowledge that. Write down all the reasons and then see their link to security and see, "I'm addicted to security; I'm willing to put up with being sworn at in order to remain secure." And look at what way you want to remain secure. Is it physical security? Is it economic security? Is it emotional security that you're feeling? Is it just that you don't want to be alone? What kind of security is it? (03:39:56)

Participant: All of them probably.

Allow yourself to see them, because all of those issues are preventing you from knowing who your soulmate is.

Now by the way, this brings up another fact. Do not ever put up with unloving treatment from your soulmate. Many people here say, "But he's my soulmate." So? If your soulmate's abusing you, why are you putting up with it?

Participant: Yeah, and I guess that's why I keep wondering if he is and I've come to the point where I've been, I feel, loving enough to myself that we've kind of separated because he's been living downstairs for six months, and we haven't really had a relationship together at all.

But that's not separation by the way. Can you see that desire for security?

Participant: I know, I've still got the security issue, yeah.

It's a big issue by the way, this security issue. Big issue. The majority of women are attracted to their current partners because of security and no other reason, and this is a really huge issue for the planet to work our way through. We're so addicted to what we'll call economic security that we will make all sorts of personal soul sacrifices for its sake, and that's pretty sad when you think about it because we're willing to actually compromise our own soul just for the sake of having some dollars around so that we don't get into a bad position. (03:41:26)

Now, you can see why historically it's such a huge issue because women in the past have been terribly treated. For many of your ancestors, the moment they disagreed with their husbands they were kicked out of the house, and it still happens today. The moment you disagree with your husband, you're out. I know one person who as soon as she disagreed with her husband he smashed up her guitar and almost burnt down their house. She didn't want that to happen so of course she's still with him. That is a huge emotional projection at a person; you don't have to say anything if you do those things do you? It just tells them exactly where they stand. And most women get so afraid of that, understandably so because historically a lot of women ended up even dying from just being kicked out of the house and their children dying and all sorts of things happening. Historically terrible things have happened to women and that is then passed down in a multigenerational way; so many of you ladies have that emotion. Security is even more important to you than sexual compatibility. Security is more important to many of you than actually having a love connection with somebody. Many of you don't actually want a love connection with somebody because it feels too exposed and vulnerable. And what happens if they die? What happens if this person who you have this huge love connection with just passes? How are you going to feel then? Isn't it safer to not have the connection and just enter into a secure situation so when they pass you've still got some money to live on? Often we have these emotions in us and we're not facing them. (03:43:16)

So allow yourself to deal with these addictions. This issue of security is a big soulmate barrier because if your soulmate is destitute and poor and a painter on the side of the street, do you think you're going to want to see him if you've got this security issue still within you? When you haven't got it in you, you'll meet him and go, "Wow I've met my soulmate, isn't this fantastic." Up until that time you meet him and say, "I don't want anything to do with him; I'm not going to be safe there, who's going to earn the bread?" That's what we'll do inside of ourselves; we'll compromise our own soul union for the sake of money or for the sake of security or for almost anything. We'll do it until this soulmate part of ourselves is open towards the other half. (03:44:18)

11. The soulmate relationship is important for our long term spiritual development

Participant: AJ, in the Padgett Messages, Helen Padgett seems to put a lot of pressure on James Padgett to love her. Sometimes I'm reading it and it's like, "You must love me like I must love you," and I'm thinking, "Whoa!"

Yes, and understand when a spirit explains something through words, a lot of times those words sound demanding and controlling. That's not the actual feeling of the spirit in the sense that the spirit isn't demanding and controlling. To be frank with you very few of you have any idea how much your long term future happiness depends upon you loving your soulmate and your soulmate loving you. When I say long term happiness, I don't mean that you'll be unhappy because when you're at-one with God you're completely happy even if you're not with your soulmate. But your long term development after that point is going to be very dependent upon this relationship and what you learn in this relationship, because it's the union of your one being; your one soul. How much more essential can you get than that? There's only one thing more essential than that and that is your union with God; that's the only thing more essential than that. (03:45:39)

So every time you put something else ahead of this union process with your soulmate, you're out of harmony with love. For the majority of us we finish up saying, "Oh I'm not with my soulmate, it doesn't really matter. I can have a good life, good fun, a good time," and we're not understanding that right at that moment we're denying a whole group of emotions within ourselves of being afraid, being vulnerable and all these different things that we then just skip over intellectually and say, "Ah, it's going to be all right." If you stay on the Divine Love Path in the long term you are going to meet your soulmate and you know what, it's going to shock the pants out of you most of the time (laughter), in the sense that your entire life will change and with all of these emotions you thought you had healed you'll realise, "Wow, I didn't have that one healed either, I didn't have that one looked after either..." as long as you start opening up to you soulmate. (03:46:42)

11.1. Opening up in our relationships with truth and humility

Now, the soulmate could be the person who you're married to sitting right next to you and you might not even know until you open up to this part of yourself. And the key is to just go for opening up this part of yourself. The only way this is going to happen is the same way everything else happens, and that is for you to stay loving, stay in truth and be humble. Now every one of you who feel you've already met your soulmate, you're starting to understand how humble you have to be. You can feel how humble you have to be and how truthful; all this stuff about previous relationships and how you felt and all these other things start coming out. And the other person gets triggered and off they go and cry for a day, and you feel really responsible so you go off and feel that; there's all this stuff going on constantly. And if you stay in truth and stay in humility, you will continue to grow. (03:47:44)

Now all of us can put this into practice in our current relationship. So if I'm in a relationship right now, I don't know whether it's a soulmate relationship or not because, let's face it, I could have twenty five different injuries that would stop me from seeing that it's actually my soulmate that I'm living with. So what I need to do is start focussing on truth and humility in this relationship. Just exposing myself completely to the other person; that means exposing every thought, every feeling, and every desire, even the ones you know they're not going to like. Especially the ones you know they're not going to like because that's going to help you work through quite a lot of stuff. Now most of us have a deep resistance to that, can you see that? How many times have you been fully emotionally open to this person that you're with about absolutely everything that you've experienced in your life?

So when myself and Mary hear that other people think we don't talk very often and that we don't really know what each other feels or thinks about something, we sit down and have a chuckle to ourselves because basically in every moment of our life that we are face to face, we are talking and expressing ourselves emotionally to each other. And Mary says a lot of things to me that I don't want to hear sometimes and I say a lot of things to Mary that she doesn't want to hear sometimes, and we just let ourselves feel the emotions of that and in the process we are actually getting to know each other again, even with the injuries, and that's what will happen for you. Do that if you're in a relationship right now, try doing it straight away, don't stop, don't put it off, don't get into this fear place. You know these fear places can dictate hundreds of years of your life and I'm not talking about just your life here on Earth. Fear places can dictate hundreds of years of your spirit life too. Don't get into those fear spaces and be dominated by them. (03:50:14)

So I'm there sitting down saying, "Ah, should I tell her this, should I tell her this? I don't know - she's going to be pretty angry about this one." Don't stop, go and tell them exactly what it is you felt, thought, acted like and then let the emotion come up, whatever that is. It will come up and if they do the same thing as you and have the same commitment to growth as you, you'll find that more and more you'll be bound together and also you'll come closer and closer and closer to knowing who your soulmate actually is. But if they resist that process, then they'll get angry and resentful and you acting in harmony with love yourself will have to actually leave at some point, even if it's temporarily, in order to deal with that situation. So allow yourself to do that. Don't act upon things like security and other things; the only three things you need to act upon are love, truth and humility. Do those things with God, do those things with your soulmate or your partner, that's all we need to remember in the end and when we do that everything will work out as long as we keep doing that.

11.2. The example of a lady's relationship and her anger towards men

Participant: AJ, I'm sort of in a relationship; we've sort of separated.

(Laughter) Myself and Mary have sort of separated on a few occasions.

Participant: And I believe he's my soulmate but I'm not attracted to him. We've known each other almost thirty seven years and he's been constant in his affections for me, and our biggest point of contention apart from everything else is you. Since I started this path it's just blown up everywhere. At first I wanted to try and convince him to come over and then I stopped because I understood what that meant. But he can't help himself but be involved. I try not to stop telling him things because that's what I'm feeling and he wants to know what's going on. And today again when we talk about it, we start this argument and I said, "If you want to tell me something, then you tell me without projecting your anger," and he goes into this wild state of, "You and AJ's projection, I'm sick and tired of hearing of projections." (03:53:32)

More anger.

Participant: It just keeps escalating and I said, "Look I don't want to keep going because what will happen is I'll just throw it back at you."

Can I address the issue completely for yourself and him? Let's start with you shall we? Is that all right? Because it's so tempting to start with him isn't it? (Laughter) So let's start with you. And one day you'll be able to say to him, "You know I asked AJ about you and he said let's start with me instead." Okay you've had this man in your life for thirty seven years and he's been constant in his feelings for you but you have not had feelings for him? Sexual feelings for him?

Participant: I couldn't stand him when I first met him.

A woman and man in a relationship have known each other for 37 years

(Laughter) So he's had constant feelings for you for thirty seven years but you've sort of kept him at a bit of a distance for that time.

Participant: A long distance, yeah.

And you're saying that your point of contention is me, and I'm saying to you actually that your point of contention has got nothing to do with me. The point of contention has actually something to do with you, not him.

Participant: Could you explain a bit more?

I'm just letting that settle a little bit inside of you (laughter). It has something to do with you and not him. How do you feel towards men generally? (03:55:23)

Participant: What I've been starting to feel is that because of my past record, I didn't realise that I actually resent and actually hate men.

Okay so you resent them.

Why do you resent them?

Participant: Lots and lots of reasons.

Have you made a list of those reasons?

Participant: I started to.

Good. So my suggestion is to keep on that; list all the reasons why you have anger towards men. Now remember anger is just the capping emotion. Now all he's responding to is your anger towards him.

Participant: Yes, because he's very loving to me and I get very irate very quickly. And I had to look at it because I felt that was really unloving. (03:56:15)

Could I just stop you for a moment though? He's not loving towards you at all, I'm not suggesting that. The fact that he gets angry with you means he's not loving to you either. But it all begins firstly inside of yourself, so you've got to look at yourself. So firstly you have resentment towards the male and a lot of emotions associated with this resentment towards the male. My suggestion is to start looking at the causal emotions related to that because when you do that you'll find that when you release some of these core emotions, your relationship with him will change quite a lot. By the way your resentment towards the male causes you to not be sexually attracted to men. In other words, to be quite shut down sexually towards the male. (03:57:06)

Participant: Yes, I realise that.

Now, because of that, you are probably not going to feel sexual attraction for any or many men at all until you work your way through this underlying anger and resentment.

11.2.1. Fear and rage shut down sexual attraction

There are two things that shut down sexual attraction to a huge degree; one is fear. When we are in a state of fear we will shut down our sexual attractions quite strongly and in particular if the object of our fear is related to the person we're with. In other words they're doing something that triggers our fear; we will shut down sexually towards them until we release this fear that we have. The other thing that shuts down sexual attraction is rage, and I'm not talking about where you have this angry spat and then all of a sudden you want to jump into bed together, I'm not talking about that kind of thing. I'm talking about the resentment that comes from unhealed rage, which actually creates a feeling of hatred within you and feelings of hatred shut down sexual attraction completely. (03:58:29)

The truth is that you could actually be with a person who's your soulmate and hate their guts and never be sexually attracted to them and you need to work your way through what your rage is all about. My suggestion is to actually do that instead of focussing on what he's doing with you.

Participant: AJ, the thing is, I said I hadn't processed it. That's why I feel these things that I do, and it comes back to you and your processing. He said I'm so self-centred in always wanting to process my things and I said I can't do anything unless I process these things, I can't be with him or with anyone. Then we start arguing again and what my question really was, apart from all of this, was that when I say, "Stop. We're arguing. Can we at least just talk and not do this argument thing?" he can't help himself and he gets even more angry. And I said, "Well if I process things more I'd manage to sit through a lot more of the anger that he's actually projecting to me." (03:59:46)

And that's the trouble. If you loved yourself, would you sit through somebody projecting anger at you all the time?

Participant: Well I didn't in the beginning. I used to say, "We can't talk, we're just getting angry," but he's saying that by me walking off all the time he can't discuss things. And I said, "Well this is not a discussion," and then he says, "Well how else am I going to find out about things if you don't let me carry this whole emotion issue through? Because you talk about emotions all the time." And on that basis I realise that every time he started getting angry I used to walk off, and so I try to sit there and not get angry back to hear what he actually has to say through his grief. We did do this today but it took a long, long time and I threw back a lot of stuff and I understand what it actually does to me, but I was trying to get past running away from him throwing stuff at me. (04:00:49)

Yeah, well it's great that you tried to get past that but the issue that you're not facing, which is coming from your soul, is this resentment towards the male. Now he's going to be feeling that twenty four by seven. He's there feeling, "I've loved you for thirty seven years and you just resent me," that's what he feels. Even if he doesn't know that that's what he feels, it is what he's feeling; that he's loved you for such a long time and wanted to be with you for such a long time and all he feels from you is rage and resentment. (04:01:24)

Participant: So what's happening now is that I got to the point where I know that I need to deal with it and I've got so many mother issues that I haven't got to my father issues.

Can I be frank with you though? You haven't wanted to get to father issues.

Participant: No, I haven't, but I've just started to realise I need to.

Yeah, but need to and want to are two different things. Now can I talk about why you don't want to? And this is why the situation has been a festering situation in your relationship - you want to blame the male. You see, if you deal with the emotion, you won't be able to blame the male any more. You'll have to give up the blame of the male and you don't want to do that. You want to be able to hate the male because that prevents you from feeling the grief that's underneath that hatred. So because you want to blame the male, it's great having a male around you who you can blame. (04:02:28)

Participant: I'm not conscious of that because I feel that I've just been working with my mother issues but that's not in my consciousness.

But you don't want to work with the father issues, which you know will heal this particular problem with this male. So the truth is that you don't want to heal the issue with the male.

Participant: I have a lot of difficulty with it, yes.

Can I say though, you don't want to. I'm using the terminology specifically because (and this happens for many people) when we're in rage with the opposite gender, most of the time we don't want to heal it. What we want to do is continue it. We want to blame the opposite gender; we want to make them responsible for fixing it. The truth though is that this male did not create the causal emotion in you so you're actually blaming the wrong male. It would be more appropriate, if we are going to blame anybody, to blame the father who created this emotion inside of you. But we often select a person who is going to put up with our rage for the rest of our life and then we project our rage for the rest of our life to that person. And that person keeps putting up with it, putting up with it, putting up with it and so forth.

This is what's happened to him and in the end he's now in this state of feeling like he's loved you for a long time, feeling like there's not any emotion coming back. He's very, very frustrated and upset about it. But what he's even more upset about is that you don't seem to want to deal with the emotion towards the male. And the truth is that you don't want to deal with the emotion towards the male because if you deal with the emotion towards the male you have to let go of the resentment, which covers over the hatred and anger which covers over the rage. What does the rage cover over? The rage covers over the fear that you actually feel about opening up yourself to a male.

Resentment towards a male in a female covers over rage and fear

Now if you deal with that emotion, what's going to be left? There'll be the grief about the male that will all just come bubbling up and out and then what's going to be left? You might actually want to be with a male after that. (04:04:49)

Participant: Well I had looked at why I had got angry and then I saw that I wanted to control. And what does control mean? It's fear. And I got as far as realising that I was afraid. I've got so much fear and I'm trying to deal with it.

But it would be more honest in your discussions with him to get rid of this discussion about AJ if you like...

Participant: No, no it's not me who brings it up.

No, it is you. At the soul level it is you because you want to avoid the real issue. The real issue you want to avoid is the fact that you're resentful towards the male and he's feeling that from you all the time. And he's going to respond to that now. He's going to get tired of that resentment and he's now responding by getting upset about it because he's feeling that this isn't love at all towards him and it's not. So allow yourself to focus on the real issue. The real issue is that you have rage towards the male that you want to retain because it's a powerful place to be in compared to feeling your grief. Let yourself feel about that. Why do I want to retain this? What kind of power am I looking for here? What type of control am I looking for here? Why do I feel like I need to control a male? What's going on deeper and underneath that? And be honest with him about that. Just say to him, "Look, I realise the problem is not AJ, the problem is not even you, the problem is that I just have rage towards men." (04:06:38)

Participant: But AJ, I've told him that.

No, you don't understand what I'm saying. I understand you've told him that.

Participant: But I haven't felt that.

You don't want to feel that.

Participant: So I've intellectually understood a lot of what you've said and probably part of the problem is that I intellectually do know what you're saying but I put it as a barrier to actually feeling something with it.

Yeah, you want to hold on to blame towards the male because that's more powerful than feeling the grief and sorrow that you feel as a female in relationship to the male. (04:07:15)

Participant: Yes I understand that.

And while you hold on to that emotionally, it's going to be very, very difficult for you to release this rage. And so he's going to be getting the barrage of this rage from you even before you open your mouth. He'll feel that. We are much more sensitive on a soul level than people realise. You can feel from another person whether they want to be with you or not even though they're saying something different to you if the feelings are different to what they're saying. A lot of confusion comes from that. (04:07:48)

Participant: Yeah, but I don't tell him that. I tell him I don't want to be with him.

No, you see that's not true either. You're attracting a man into your life that you can blame. You want to do this. Do you understand? Because if you didn't want to do this it wouldn't be happening. This is very important for you all to understand with your Law of Attraction. If it's happening, you want it to be happening, at some level you want it happening. So, yes, I feel you want a man who will take your rage and still love you even though you don't have to love him. (04:08:35)

Participant: When you say it like that, yes that's true.

Now once you work your way through the issue emotionally, you'll do one of two things. You'll start connecting to the grief and fear that's under the rage and you'll want to, you won't be resistant to it, you'll want to connect to it, you'll do that. Or you'll say, "I cannot be with you, that's the last time I'll see you." Now my suggestion is to do the first because if you do the second, you'll never heal the emotion, but it's up to you what you choose to do. (04:09:10)

Participant: You mean choosing the first is to deal with the emotion of fear?

Fear and grief about the male rather than choosing to hold on to the anger with the male. Holding on to the anger with somebody is a way of getting out of the fear and the grief. So instead of choosing to get out of the fear and the grief, choose to get into the fear and the grief. If you do that he won't feel an emotion of rage towards him anymore and he'll relax and he'll go, "Ah, this AJ's not such a bad fellow after all actually." He'll even relax with that. At the moment he's not relaxed with that because of all these feelings from you; he's not feeling loved by you and that's what he wants. It's a different discussion altogether as to what's he's projecting at you; all you have control over is what you are projecting at him. (04:10:11)

Participant: Yeah, I understand that AJ, thank you.

Does that help?

Participant: Yes, very much. Thank you.

So let yourself feel these deeper emotions. What I've noticed with many persons that I've met, is that most men have the difficulty that they're in their head and they don't even get to their emotions. A lot of the women have difficulty in that they're in their emotions but one of the big emotions they have is that they want to be angry with the man because being angry with the man makes the man pay for all their things that happened in the past to them from men. And so they often attract the man that they can be angry with for the rest of their life and he's willing to just sit there and take that. They attract that into their life because they want that, and it's very important to go deeper than this. (04:11:12)

12. Closing Words

Tomorrow, in the talk "The Human Soul - The Soulmate Relationship session 2" I will continue the discussion about soulmates because there's a lot I haven't said yet about the subject.

The Soulmate Relationship: Session 2 Part 1

13. Introduction

So how did you find things yesterday, for those of you who were here for the first session about "The Human Soul - The Soulmate Relationship"?

Participant: Yesterday morning I left my husband after thirty years.

Yesterday morning?

Participant: Yes, and I knew it was something I needed to do because it was an unloving situation. I knew that I no longer really loved him and so I wasn't living in truth but it was still very hard and still very sad, which I'm obviously still feeling. And then I came here and you're talking about soulmates. (Laughter) So I just have a couple of questions. Why is it so hard? Why is it so sad? And also a discussion we were having in the ladies yesterday was... (00:04:01:00)

Not with me, obviously! (Laughter)

Participant: No, obviously not with you! (Laughter) Nobody would ask the question so I said I will. If you have a longing for your soulmate and you know who your soulmate is but they're married, is that unloving?

Yes, so that's brought up quite a number of questions. I'm going to answer this question in a fairly long-winded way okay, so sorry about that for those of you who want to ask certain questions.

The problem with the soulmate discussion is that we often go a number of different ways with it. One is that we feel we are not currently in a relationship that's with our soulmate; once we go that way we then have a choice of what we want to do. What are we going to do? My suggestion, rather than focusing on the soulmate issue in your current relationship, is to just focus on the love issue in your current relationship, because at the end of the day if you're with a person and it's not love, then it's for some other emotional reason. (00:05:16:00)

14. Relationships can be based on love or addictions

Let's say I'm a male in the relationship and there's a woman in the relationship - not Mary, because I'm going to leave this woman. (Laughter) I decide either that I actually do not love this woman anymore, or that this woman does not love me anymore, even though I am still in love with her. Now if that happens, immediately from God's perspective the bond between us has broken, because every bond from God's perspective is a love-based bond. Any true bond is really just a love-based bond from God's perspective. Any other bond that we have with a person is, as we talked about yesterday, usually just an addictive bond. And remember that an addiction is the satisfaction of an unhealed emotion that's out of harmony with love.

So the addiction might be, "I need to feel secure," and that comes from the unsatisfied emotion that I don't want to release inside of me that I feel very unsafe and insecure unless a man is looking after me, or a woman is looking after me. Another addiction might be, "I need someone to cook and clean for me." It can be a simple addiction. Many men have not in their entire life cooked or cleaned and it might sound a bit strange but it's true - I've met many of them. They've never cooked or cleaned because they went straight from home living with mum who cooked and cleaned for them and straight into a relationship where the woman cooked and cleaned for them, and many of them don't even know how to cook a meal for themselves. Now this is the case in many countries, where whole populations of men don't know how to cook for themselves. One of their addictions is obviously going to be needing the woman to do it for them, just a simple addiction like that, which comes from an unhealed emotion where they are not willing to take responsibility for their own life and even their own body. It's actually a big emotional injury that drives that. (00:07:40:00)

A man can stay in a relationship with a woman because of wanting an addiction met, rather than because of love

15. Addressing the reasons why love or desire are not present in a relationship

So let's say we have an addiction. The addiction causes us to remain connected to the other person. From God's perspective though, whether they passionately desire me or not, if I don't love the person I'm in a relationship with and I don't passionately desire them and they don't really matter, then at this point I have two things to do.

One is that I could work through the emotional injury-based reasons as to why I no longer passionately desire the person who at one point I may have passionately desired. If I don't passionately desire this person, my first option is to actually look at some emotional reasons of why I might not passionately desire them. (00:08:48:00)

Now one emotional reason might be that the other person has done something in the past in our relationship that has caused me to be in a state of fear or anger about the relationship. The person might have cheated on me, or they might have flirted with other men or they might have done something like that, which has caused me to have certain emotional responses inside of myself. Then as a result of those emotional responses inside of myself, I'll shut myself down towards them. Instead of releasing the emotion, as we would do if we're on the Divine Love Path, we have this habit instead of closing down our emotions, staying in the relationship, but we have this hurt in us about the relationship. And so I could be blocked towards the person because of just that one issue. There is this anger or frustration or fear in me about what they've done, maybe even ten or fifteen years ago. It could be something long term like that, and it often is. (00:09:50:00)

My suggestion, before you ever leave anybody in a relationship, is to start addressing the issues like that. If there is an issue in the past where the person has cheated, or the person has done something that has caused a lot of blockages in yourself, a lot of shutdown; let's say they've been a little bit abusive in the past or maybe when they get drunk they get angry with you all the time, all of those kinds of things, then my suggestion is to deal with every one of those issues in truth. Truth is such an important thing; deal with it in truth and in humility.

15.1. Dealing with issues with truth and humility

In humility we'd say, "That's my Law of Attraction. I need to look at something inside of myself emotionally as to what went on there." And in truth I would speak to the other person and say, "I am still upset with the fact that you did that. I am still angry about that," or, "I'm still sad about that. I still have some grief and I've blocked myself off emotionally from you now because of that. I realise that's my issue and I need to work through that, but I don't feel that you are even sorry for what you did." Those might be the feelings you have and so forth. So explain what's going on with the person and try to work through the issue with them. Now in the attempt of trying to work through the blocked emotion with them, it will become very clear, very rapidly, whether the person wants to do that with you or not. (00:11:23:00)

The loving way to address issues in a relationship is in truth and humility

Now if the person doesn't want to do that with you, it will become very obvious that they have no desire to actually deal with this particular thing in truth and therefore you're going to have to work through the issue yourself at some point, and by yourself. Because if you want to be close to God you're going to have to work through this issue. Whether the other person is sorry for what they did or not you're still going to have to work through the issue. But then you'll have to start looking at the possibility of their getting angry back at you and their pressuring or controlling or being manipulative back in return with you; what are you going to do then? Obviously that's not loving behaviour either and you'll have to start to address that issue. (00:12:07:00)

So in starting to address that issue, it will become very clear over time whether you should be with this person or not. But remember that love is the real bond between the two of you. If you know that you are no longer in love with this person, from God's perspective the bond is broken. If you know that the person no longer loves you, then from God's perspective the bond is broken. It doesn't matter whether you've got a marriage certificate and it doesn't matter how long that marriage certificate has stood for, the bond is broken. Now you have one of two choices; you can re-establish the bond of love by working through it in truth and in humility and in love with the person or you can separate; that's really your choice in the end. (00:13:04:00)

15.2. It is beneficial to stay in a relationship with someone and work through the issues, whether they are your soulmate or not

Now the problem is that a lot of people are then going to say about me, "Oh yeah, she went along to AJ's sessions for a year," (and in Joy's case five or six months), "and look what she's done now - she's left her husband after thirty years of marriage. AJ destroys marriages." That's the next supposition that comes from that. I know Joy doesn't feel that but whenever Joy has asked me a personal question about relationships I have always referred her back to this particular thing. "What about the love? Are you in love with this man? Is he loving towards you? What's going on?" And if you can deal with those issues, it will then become very plain whether this relationship can work whether you're soulmates or not.

Now if you know you are not soulmates, which is a lot different than hoping that you're not or hoping that you are, and if in fact you know who your soulmate is, and you know that you're not in love with the person you're with, then why are you still there? And my suggestion is, there'll be a lot of emotional reasons why you are still there. So I'm not suggesting you leave, what I'm suggesting is that you stick around and deal with those emotional reasons until you get to a point of making a decision inside of yourself as to what you should do. (00:14:31:00)

Now what might be some of the emotional reasons why I might stay with someone who I know doesn't love me? Well one might be that I love them and I still feel that feeling for them and so I stay with them hoping. So what am I addicted to? Hope, in the end. I'm hoping that they're going to love me at some point in the future and that if I do enough for them and if I please them enough and all that, eventually they'll come to see that I'm a nice guy or a nice woman and they'll love me.

Now is that loving to yourself? Obviously not, so also in this question of love I would have to look at "Am I being loving to myself by staying here?" If you know that your partner doesn't love you but you stay in the relationship then there are obviously some quite strong emotional addictions to allow yourself to work through. Work through those addictions in the relationship if you can, because you've attracted the relationship. It's a perfect time to work through them. Work through those addictions and when you come out the other side of those addictions and release them, it will become very plain to you whether it's a workable relationship or not.

But yesterday I was suggesting to you the fact that there is this soulmate side of you. When you start opening this soulmate side of you, what will happen is that every other attraction that you've ever had will start to die. When I say die it's not some kind of destruction that's terrible, you just no longer feel attracted to lots of different people anymore. There's only one person you end up being attracted to and that is the other half of your soul, your soulmate. When that happens, you get into this state where you realise that for you there is only one kind of attraction that really has any long term longing and that is the hunger for your soulmate, the longing for your soulmate. (00:15:06:00)

Now when you get into that state, it will become very obvious to you whether the person you are currently with is your soulmate or not. Until that point, until you actually have a soulmate longing, you are not going to know whether the person you're with is your soulmate or not. Even if they are your soulmate you still won't know until that part of your soul is open. This is why it's so good to be in your current relationship and work through the issues until you get to the point where you know "This isn't right." When you know it isn't right, obviously that is the time for you to leave.

And it doesn't matter what anybody else around you says. The religious people around you may say, "No, you're married for life, you've got to stick with that." Your husband or wife might say, "Hang on a sec but I still love you." That doesn't matter either, because at the end of the day when you know inside of yourself that you no longer have love and desire, and by the way this includes a sexual desire for your partner, then there is something wrong going on inside of yourself that you're shutting down and you need to look at that. Because in the end we do need to have this strong emotional, sexual desire for our partner that we're living with, and if we don't have that we need to spend a lot of time looking at why.

When two people in a relationship don't desire each other in a passionate way, it actually shuts each person down emotionally in the relationship. Any of you who've lived in that kind of relationship know that. As soon as you start detuning from your partner sexually and emotionally, why are you now in the relationship? It now just becomes almost like a friendship that you could have with a guy down the street, and once the sexual relationship stops and the emotional relationship stops, what's going on now? It's just a workable solution for some kind of problem that you're still not letting go of inside yourself. (00:18:46:00)

Allow yourself to understand that your life will change as you follow the Divine Love Path. It's going to change and it's not going to be my fault! (Laughter) Many of you think it is my fault and many other people who watch you think it's my fault, but it actually isn't going to be my fault. It's going to be God's Truth resonating in your soul so much that eventually you feel you can do certain things and can't do other things. And then you'll feel drawn into doing that yourself and I'll have nothing to do with that process aside from on an occasion when you might ask me "What's the loving thing to do?" and I'll just ask you some questions. I am not recommending here to anybody to leave the person they're with or to stay with them. What I'm asking you to do is to live in love and to do that in a passionate way. If you can't do that in a passionate way, look at the emotional reasons that are inside of yourself why you can't and then you'll address a lot of the issues. (00:19:54:00)

15.3. The pain of separation comes from addictions being triggered

Now obviously for Joy you've been working through this issue. You've felt there's a disconnection of love between yourself and your partner, is that right?

Participant: Yep, that would be true.

And so that has caused you then to go, "Okay what am I doing in this relationship when it's not loving?" And part of the question you asked is, "Why am I then grieving the fact that I've left the relationship?" Well oftentimes when we realise the truth and we actually act upon truth, all of the addictions start getting triggered one after the other quite rapidly. So one of the addictions that you know that you've had is this addiction to economic security? (00:20:42:00)

Participant: Yes, like leaving my home and garden and chooks.

Yes, there's been an attachment to your home, which you have left in this process? Yes, so you've left your home as well and there's an attachment to that. In a guy's case there might be an acknowledgement of, "I'm going to have to split in half everything that's been created." And there's this great big feeling of, "But I created that and now half of it's gone." There's a big loss. There are a lot of loss type emotions, grieving style emotions that we'll go through. Obviously we can't live thirty years of life and then just walk away from that without actually feeling quite a lot of loss about what was created in that thirty years. But the key is to have the courage to still live in truth and to stay in truth. (00:21:40:00)

16. How to deal with your relationship in a loving way if you find your soulmate

Now what I've noticed happen a lot is that people may meet their soulmate and then they use that as an excuse to do all sorts of immoral things. Now what I mean by that is, they use that as an excuse to have an affair, an excuse to still live with a partner they don't love because they get a meal on the table or a safe and secure environment to live in. They use it as an excuse for all sorts of unjustified immoral things.

Now if we are really living in truth, we would never be able to do that. So the moment that you meet your soulmate and you're in a different relationship, you'd be going, "Okay, I know this person's my soulmate because of all these different things I feel with this person. Why am I now treating my partner in an unloving way?" You see, as soon as I start sacrificing love of the person that I was with, I'm out of harmony with Divine Love straight away. (00:22:52:00)

Now in that state, all these spirits around you can start hooking into this untruthful state you're in and unfortunately in that state this is where children get hurt, family members get hurt and so forth. The truth is that you can meet your soulmate and still be in another relationship and work through the issues and stay in a state of love and truth and it will not damage your children at all emotionally. You can do that, but the majority of people don't.

For the majority of people, one or both parties start getting angry and upset with each other for the discoveries that they've made. Before you know it they're at loggerheads with each other, throwing stuff at each other, perhaps not physically but certainly emotionally, trying to get other people to influence their opinion about the person that they used to be with and before you know it the children, who are unfortunately the people watching and living with all of these emotions flying back and forth, are the ones getting damaged the most.

If both parents owned their emotions in a relationship and if the relationship disbands because of different discoveries each person makes, they are really in the end discoveries about love. If they both remain in a loving state and in truth, no harm whatsoever will come to their children, but the problem is that most of the time we do not stay in a state of love and truth. We go into a state of anger, resentment, frustration, annoyance, rage, hatred and under all of those circumstances there is huge damage done to children as a result. (00:24:39:00)

So you can actually go through the process of realising that your current relationship is not the relationship that you want for the rest of your existence, and you can leave that relationship in the most loving possible way and go through lots of grief as a result of leaving it because it will confront every one of those addictions that were there before. If you're willing to face all of those things emotionally, you cannot damage any other person or your own soul in the process.

Conversely, you can meet your soulmate, enter into an affair with them, damage the relationship with the person you're with by lying to them and cheating on them, damage the children by lying to them, and cause all sorts of mayhem if you don't live in harmony with truth and love with regard to that process. Really the choice is up to you when you go through all of this and we've got to really start addressing the emotional reasons inside of ourselves as to why we would like to do it that way.

So as soon as you emotionally and sexually connect to another person other than the person you're living with in a relationship, straight away you have broken the bond of love between yourself and the person you are living with. From God's perspective, the bond is broken. You can re-establish that bond by working through the emotions. So you may realise through the process, "Actually I do love my partner and I was just angry," or, "I was afraid of this," or, "I was needing security that I didn't have." Whatever the real emotional reason was, work through that. And you'd also have to work through the issues of being repentant and sorrowful if you chose to do that with that partner. (00:26:35:00)

But the truth is, if you act openly and honestly, honourably and with integrity in each situation, then that is the smallest chance for damage or danger in your relationship and also with your children being harmed as well, if you have children.

17. Developing a pure longing for our soulmate

Now there was a third part of your question. I can't quite remember it again?

Participant: If you know who your soulmate is and you long for that soulmate and they're in a marriage, then when does just longing for them become unloving?

Yep, it's a very good question. What's the difference between longing for somebody and then starting to develop an emotional relationship with that person, and how does that affect the situation?

17.1. The scenario of our being in a relationship when we find our soulmate

Now let's first look at it from the point of view that I'm in a relationship as well. I start off in a relationship and they are in a relationship so we'll just extend it a little bit. Imagine I'm in a relationship and I realise that my partner's not my soulmate and I work through a lot of my soulmate-based emotions and eventually the two of us start realising, because we might be working through it together, that we're not soulmates, and we decide that we're going to break up, so we go through that process emotionally. (00:28:00:00)

Now obviously if I stay in love and truth with my partner, that process will happen in the best possible manner that it could happen. Now of course if the person themselves is not happy with that choice then there's going to be some projections of anger and rage at me isn't there? If I'm making the choice unilaterally then obviously the other person is going to be quite upset about that. Now if they were on the Divine Love Path they would need to work through their emotions about that. If they're not on the Divine Love Path and all they feel they can do is just damage me by hurling emotions, then I would have to work my way through those emotions that are a part of my Law of Attraction. (00:28:37:00)

You see a lot of times we've lived in relationships for many years where we haven't loved them and there is a certain compensation involved in that process. Once I come to terms with the fact that I haven't loved them and I go to tell them and they say, "Well how long haven't you loved me?" and I say, "Oh, ten years," of course they're going to be hurt, aren't they? They've been in a relationship for ten years with someone who hasn't loved them, who they thought loved them. So of course they're going to have some emotions about that and of course they're going to have some anger about that.

In a way, it's almost justified anger towards us because we have actually harmed ten years of their life by not telling them ten years ago that that is how we felt. I have actually affected their free will by not telling them the truth about how I felt ten years ago, so obviously there's going to be some kind of stuff coming back from that person to me. And if I'm humble and I'm open and I'm loving, I'll work through all of that and I'll feel repentant for that, because I'm going to need to feel repentant for affecting someone's life for ten years without them knowing; I'm going to need to be repentant for that.

17.2. The scenario of our soulmate being in a relationship

So I go through all of that emotionally and I come out the other end where I'm separated from my partner, whoever my partner was, and I'm now an individual. I keep working my way through my emotional stuff and then I start having these realisations of who my soulmate is and yes, it feels really certain to me, but it just so happens that my soulmate who in this case I will give as a woman, is in a marriage. What do I do? Do I develop a soulmate longing for her and what is a soulmate longing anyway? Because that's really part of the question, isn't it?

A man can find his soulmate while she is in a relationship with another man

Well, a soulmate longing is me dealing with all of my emotional injuries towards both genders. So I have to deal with all my emotional injuries towards the male and all of my emotional injuries towards the female. And at the soul level, not at the physical level or the intellectual level, but at the soul level, I am pushing out this energy that I have healed a lot of my issues about myself as a person and I've also emotionally healed a lot of my issues about women generally. (00:31:13:00)

Now what will happen when I'm in that state is that every single person around me will know these changes have happened, not by me telling them but by feeling them from me. So every woman will come up and say, "Gee you're a bit different from when I saw you last time. Last time I felt quite a lot of anger from you." And I'd say, "Yeah well I dealt with a lot of anger about women and stuff like that and I worked my way through that." And they say, "Yeah, wow you're a lot different than you used to be."

And then another person will come up and say, "You know before you always used to back-pedal as a man and you always used to be conciliatory to the woman, but now I see you're taking more control of your own life; looking after yourself where you always wanted the woman to look after you before, and I think it's really good." "Yeah I dealt with this emotion and I dealt with that emotion and now I've worked my way through those issues and now it feels quite different for me." Just you dealing with your emotions, means that every single person around you will feel the difference in you. (00:32:20:00)

Now many of you have already started experiencing that and sometimes they see the difference in you and they don't like it very much, because many of them are addicted to what you were before. But they still notice that you've changed and that's a really good sign; when you're changing it's a really good sign that things are improving.

So I've dealt with a lot of my emotional injuries. Now what's coming out of me is this openness towards my soulmate, because I've dealt with a lot of the injuries inside of myself towards the masculine and towards the feminine, and now there's this openness towards the reception of my soulmate.

Now my soulmate is going to feel that. There's nothing I can do to stop that from happening. She's going to feel that occur. It doesn't matter whether she's in a relationship or not in a relationship; she is still going to feel something going on. Some changes will start happening in her own life because remember this soulmate, at the soul level, is just one half of me. So how could she not feel what I'm going through in the changes that I'm making towards her? She's definitely going to feel it. (00:34:10:00)

A soulmate will feel changes in the other half of their soul because they are two halves of the same soul

17.3. The scenario of not knowing who your soulmate is

Let's say I don't know who she is at this point. I could then start just developing a longing that I meet her and connect with her at the soul level, couldn't I? Now the truth is that I don't know whether she's married, she's single, she might be in a lesbian relationship, she might have five guys on the hook at the same time, I don't know. I don't know what she's going to be like really at this point aside from what I can feel from her. But I'm still allowed to have my desires, aren't I? Of course I am. I'm allowed to have my desires and to have a desire or a longing for my soulmate. I don't know the situation she's in, she might be in all sorts of situations, who really knows. The fact is that because I've healed the majority of emotions that are within me, there's an automatic openness between myself and her now that she has to feel because she's the other half of me. (00:35:27:00)

The other thing is that because of that automatic openness and because now I'm starting to develop a longing for my soulmate, she's going to feel that too. And whether she knows me or not, things will start changing in her life as a result of that if she's sensitive emotionally to this going on. She will start feeling things are not quite right in her current relationship in some way, and she'll start feeling all different things inside herself about things not being quite right. And she'll start going through these emotions. I don't need to know her at this point; I don't even need to know who she is. That will be an automatic part of the process because that's how God has designed it to be. (00:36:11:00)

Now the question really is about whether I know her or not isn't it? Up until this point, let's assume I don't know her, does that sound loving? That I've developed my own soul's desire, that I long for my soulmate. She's the other half of me, and of course I have the right to long for the other half of me, have I not? That's a loving thing; I can long for the other half of me. I've worked through my emotional injuries so that means that I am now not projecting neediness or control at her or manipulation or any of those things, I'm not trying to force her in any way to do what I want, because that would be unloving too and that would mean I would need to deal with that emotion inside of me too.

By this stage I've healed quite a lot of my stuff so from the spheres perspective I'd probably be third sphere, fourth sphere, maybe fifth sphere of the spirit world at this point where I've dealt with quite a lot of my emotional injuries at this point.

Now I know that ideally it doesn't happen this way. We'll put the other ways that all this can happen aside for a moment. What I'm describing here is how I'm focusing on my own healing and as a result of focusing on my own healing and my own relationship with God, my desire for my soulmate will grow inside of myself and there's no one to project it to because I don't know who they are. My desire will just continue to grow, but my soulmate will obviously feel this longing because she's the other half of me. (00:37:50:00)

17.4. The scenario of knowing who your soulmate is

So, what happens now if I know who she is? Now there are some moral issues involved, particularly if she's in a relationship. But even if I know who she is and she's not in a relationship, there are still some moral issues involved actually. Because let's say for a start that she's not in a relationship, what could I do? Well I could start phoning her and ringing her and emailing her and say, "We could hook up and whatever, or get together, or at least meet." What is that doing right at that moment? I'm now projecting my needs onto her. Is this a loving thing? No.

What would be better is for me just to say, "Could I meet up with you? Because I have something to tell you." So you go up and sit down with her and say, "I've done a lot of emotional work over the last few years and I've worked my way through this and that and whatever other things I've worked my way through, and I'm not in a relationship anymore. And what I've come to realise is that there's actually one person that God has created for me, who is my soulmate, my other half if you like, and what I've come to realise is that it's you." (Laughter) (00:39:03:00)

So you'd say, "I've come to realise that it's you and I don't want you to do anything about it. I'm just telling you because I want to tell you and I want to give you the opportunity to know." But as soon as I project an expectation upon them that they then act upon the knowledge that I've just given them, straight away I'm out of harmony with Divine Love. So it's one thing to just say the truth, "I know you're my soulmate," and quite another then to say, "Can we get together?" because now what I'm doing is projecting an expectation upon them and I'm not leaving the choice up to them as to what they want to do about that information. (00:40:11:00)

Now at that point, if you start projecting upon them something like, "I would like to hook up with you," and then you don't hear from them and so you send them another email, another message, or another message on the phone, or you go around and knock on the door, now what are you starting to do? To be frank you're harassing them, right? And if you're harassing them, obviously that's not harmonious with love either. There's an emotion inside of myself that needs to be healed if I want to harass somebody.

17.5. The example of when AJ met Mary

When I first met Mary I knew she was my soulmate, but I could see that Mary was in some emotional turmoil from a previous relationship and other things like that and so I didn't tell her that she was my soulmate. I now regret not telling her that she was my soulmate, but I just felt that she would never accept me anyway (this is my unhealed emotion). She would never accept me anyway, she's still hurt from a previous relationship that I could feel she was working through and I just felt like, "Well at least I now know who my soulmate is"; that's the feeling I had. But I didn't project anything at Mary at all. I didn't even tell her that she was my soulmate, one of the people I was with guessed that I knew it was Mary, but that's about it. I really didn't even talk about it much with anyone though obviously there was a big change in me in that other people could see that I'd met my soulmate. And so if someone said, "Have you met your soulmate? I would say, "Yeah I've met my soulmate." (00:42:02:00)

Now at that point we could go down this track of being very, very demanding upon this person, couldn't we? And very controlling and very manipulative; we could do all sorts of things which would all be out of harmony with love, or we could in the end have courage (which I did not have by the way) and go to them and just say, "You're my soulmate, I know you're my soulmate. I don't know what to do about it, but I'm just saying you're my soulmate." And just let the chips fall where they may. Honestly, the most direct, honest and open approach is the one that's in most harmony with God's Laws, and because it's most in harmony with God's Laws, there's a higher likelihood that everything will happen a lot more smoothly than if we do something that's out of harmony with God's Laws. (00:42:57:00)

Now ironically with Mary, if I had said that to her, Mary would probably have had a lot less trouble with me afterwards than she actually did have because it would have given her an opportunity to hear straight from me how I felt. For us that didn't occur, but what I'm recommending is to go ahead and do that yourself. But if you're a guy like me who had a lot of self esteem issues, and you felt like your soulmate would probably reject you and all of those kinds of things, then you won't be able to do that. You'll probably first have to go home and have some cries like I did and work your way through that emotion before you'll be able to feel like you can do that. (00:43:48:00)

17.5.1. A true soulmate longing is a desire to feel all our own feelings for our soulmate

Mary: Can I talk about this issue of longing? Because I feel you have had a strong connection with your soulmate longing all your life. We're in a relationship and I find it quite confronting because a longing is not a need or a demand, so even after you met me you still longed for me and that wasn't a projection at me; it was a longing. You didn't have a sense that I had to do anything but you were still in a state of longing and I believe it's a really beautiful state. It's like a childlike state that you had around me of wanting to know about me, of wanting to know me. It was very beautiful. Even though some people are quite critical of that now, I found it very beautiful to be the recipient of that.

Mary: But for me even when we're in a relationship, to be in a state of longing is a very vulnerable place, it's a place where you're without need but you're in pure desire for that other person. And just because you're in a relationship with your soulmate, it doesn't mean that your soulmate longing is established. As I'm working through a lot of my man issues, it still doesn't mean my soulmate longing starts. I have to deal with the fear of total openness and vulnerability. So I think when people talk about soulmate longing, it's really important to know what that state really is about and it's not an "Ooh I want that man" sort of feeling. (00:46:39:00)

What if I define it for you, what a soulmate longing is? What Mary says is very true; even being with your soulmate you may not have a soulmate longing. A soulmate longing is having a passionate desire to feel your own feelings for your soulmate. In other words it's not you automatically trying to connect with them and have them have feelings for you. This is about you developing within yourself a passionate desire to feel your own feelings about this one other person who you will eventually have in your life. That's all it is. And this passionate desire passes through you; it's not necessarily something that you're giving to the other person, it's passing through you and it's felt by you for the other person, feelings inside of yourself for the other person. (00:47:08:00)

Now one of the biggest things that shut down my longing was my grief for my soulmate. For many, many years I thought I had a longing for my soulmate when in reality I was acting upon my grief for my soulmate. In my case because I'm conscious of my soulmate leaving my life in the process of incarnation, there's this humongous grief inside of me about that and because of that grief that I was unwilling to feel I have actually been projecting neediness at my soulmate for almost all of my life.

Now of course my soulmate is feeling this projection and is she going to be attracted to that? No, of course not. I was actually repelling my soulmate with this needy emotion. Once I got to these realisations that I was projecting this needy emotion at my soulmate, and once I worked my way through that I then started to truly grieve the loss that I felt inside of me for her. Now that grief lasted nearly three and a half years of my crying most days, that's how much grief I have and I've still probably got a little bit left because I still feel it there inside of me, this grief about the loss of my soulmate. And I had to deal with a fair majority of that grief before I would even meet Mary, because up until that time I was projecting this need at her, trying to shut down my grief. She had a role up until that point, and that was that she would have to make me feel good, to get away from my grief about losing my soulmate.

Once I started to own my grief about losing my soulmate and really letting all of that go, which took me quite a few years, I then started to draw Mary and get close to Mary in our emotional state. She was overseas at the time but I started to feel her personality. I started to feel her personality again; it was like a memory process for me, and I started to feel her characteristics and attributes. I even started to feel a lot of the injuries that she had towards men and what she would have towards myself and things like that. I started to feel a lot more about that, because I was feeling my passionate desire for her. And I could even feel her blockages towards me. Every time I allowed myself to feel my passionate desire for her, I could feel the blockage that she had towards me, which naturally got me straight away to my grief because it was, "Oh my soulmate doesn't want me in her life." I could feel that. That caused me to go into this state of grief and feel more and more of my grief. (00:50:10:00)

When you think about it, having a longing for God is very similar to having a passionate desire to feel your own feelings for God. It's not about God's feelings for you initially when you long for God, it's about your longing for God. That's what draws the love to you, that's what draws the recipient's love to you. It is about having a passionate desire within yourself to experience the feelings that you actually have.

Now you can do that whether the person is in a relationship or not because at this point you're not projecting anything at the person. In fact you're projecting the least at them because you're owning and feeling all of your own emotions of longing. The irony is that when you passionately feel all of your own feelings about something, that's when everyone around you feels your feelings the least. In other words they don't feel it as a projection or anything like that, they can just feel it as love instead. There are no blockages between you and them when you do this. (00:51:28:00)

So when you have a passionate desire to feel your own emotions and a passionate desire to feel your own feelings for somebody, you are actually feeling what's inside of yourself for them and that feeling is allowed to grow and grow and grow as much as you desire that feeling to grow. To be frank with you, many of you will want to turn it off because you'll feel such a sense of loss because of some things that have happened in your parents' lives or whatever else. You'll feel these overwhelming emotions that you want to shut it all down. My suggestion is to stay open and vulnerable to it.

I had to stay open and vulnerable to the fact that my soulmate didn't want me and I could feel that, and allow myself to feel that. Even when I met her, at the point that I met her, I realised how much she didn't want me. Before then I was sort of flirting with the idea, "Well maybe I'm wrong, maybe she really does want me," but as soon as I met her I realised, "Wow, there's no longing there for me at all in my soulmate. None at all." I could feel there was no longing. Now there was lots of grief in me associated with that and I had to be vulnerable and open to experience that grief. I had to let myself feel how sad I felt about the fact that my own soulmate didn't even want to remember me and I went through lots and lots of different emotions about that. (00:52:52:00)

Now as I dealt with those emotions, her disinterest in me changed. It went from disinterest into anger. (Laughter) The reason it went from disinterest into anger was that she was now starting to feel some of these feelings inside of herself and that was triggering some of the grief that she didn't want to feel. So now she was starting to get into emotional turmoil, as I longed for her and just felt my own feelings. I didn't need to project it at her at all, I just longed for her and felt my own feelings of longing and that automatically causes the other person to start feeling some things inside of themselves, because the blockage between the two halves has been released.

17.6. Emotional blockages prevent soulmates from feeling each other

The only reason emotions are not permanently flowing between you and your soulmate right now is that you and your soulmate both have blockages towards each other. When you start pulling out those blockages, you can think of it like pulling out the barbs or the arrows of pain that are in you about connecting to this other person. When you pull them out yourself there's now an openness on your side towards your soulmate. You are now emotionally open to receiving them and emotionally open to giving to them without expectation. Now that has a huge effect on your soulmate; how can it not have a huge effect once you start doing this? In the end it really gets back down to, "How much am I willing to heal my own stuff? And how much am I willing to have a passionate desire to feel my own emotions for my soulmate?" That's really what it gets down to in the end, with respect to how we will come together in the future at some point. (00:54:54:00)

Now if I allow myself to do this, whether she's in a relationship or not things will start changing in her life. In my case I'm talking from a male's perspective, or if you're talking from a female's perspective, things will start changing in his life; his life will start changing because there's one person on this planet, who happens to be his other half, who no longer has a heap of blockages towards him. That is going to have a powerful effect on him and his life. Unfortunately he or she will often think that it's done without their will but that's how it goes because it's the whole soul that's got the will, not the two halves. The two halves certainly have will, but it's the entire soul that can feel its emotions. When one half of the soul stops being blocked to the other half of the soul, of course the other half of the soul's life is going to be affected by the process. (00:55:56:00)

17.7. The scenario of knowing who your soulmate is and they're in a relationship

Let's say I now know who my soulmate is but they're in another relationship. There is still no harm in going up to them and saying, "I know you're my soulmate, I just want to tell you." What's the difference between their being in a relationship or not? If you have no expectation, all you're doing is presenting a truth to a person who happens to be your other half. In fact, don't they deserve the truth more than any other person in your life? Of course they do. So just go up and tell them. It needs a lot of courage to go up and tell them. But again, as soon as you have an expectation that they act upon the information that you've given them, what are you doing? You are being unloving to them and also to their partner; you're actually being unloving to two people - not just your soulmate but also whoever they're with. (00:57:08:00)

If your soulmate says, "Wow, yeah, I feel like you're my soulmate too, let's go and have an affair," obviously now both of you are being unloving to each other and also to the partner of your soulmate. You would have to go through quite a lot of different emotions to sort out the relationship. Now I've seen some people work through those emotions in one week. In the spirit world I have seen them work through it in one hour of your time here on Earth; one hour and bang, everything's dealt with basically. They've even been with a person in the spirit world for all of their life, like for hundreds of years sometimes, and then they meet their soulmate and they go bang, "You're my soulmate," and then they say to the partner, "We're not meant to be together, are we?" And sometimes they say, "No, we're not," and sometimes they say, "Yes, we are," but either way you can feel this strong bond between yourself and your soulmate once you're open to it emotionally and you'll know you've got to go. I've talked to a spirit who went in about thirty seconds. (Laughter)

17.7.1. An example of a soulmate couple AJ met in the spirit world

There was this couple who came to talk to me. The man was in the second sphere of the spirit world and the woman was in the hells of the spirit world because the man had been dominated by her all of his life, even in the spirit world. He decided he had to help her somehow and they both came to me because they wanted to know why she was in the hells when he was in a better place. So I told him that it was because she had dominated him all of his life and she's not sorry for that. And she got really upset with me about that but she stayed in the conversation.

Then I started talking to the man about the concept of soulmates and she said, "Oh, he's not my soulmate." She was in the hells and she said, "He's not my soulmate," and as soon as she said that a third spirit came along and said, "I'm your soulmate," and the woman, who'd been hanging around this man in the spirit world for seven years since she'd passed, her husband from Earth, pestering him and causing him lots of trouble, and still trying to get him to come down to her all the time, just ran off. That was the last he saw of her. And then I started talking to the man and he started realising that his soulmate wasn't actually a woman anyway, his soulmate was a male, and as soon as he had that realisation he found his own soulmate. These conversations happen! (Laughter) (01:00:02:00)

So can you see how rapidly in the spirit world it can all change? The reason it doesn't change as rapidly here is that we are often so addicted to all of these different emotions that we don't want to face, but by the time we pass a lot of these addictions have gone. For instance you're not going to be addicted to your house on 48 Cobble Drive down here when you pass, are you? You've given up that addiction, but on Earth do you think you're going to be addicted to that? Sure you are because it's a nice pretty house and you've spent thirty years building the garden, you want a half of it even if you're going. But in the spirit world you don't care about that; you wouldn't want a half of the house in the spirit world, would you? So why would you bother doing it here? You see a lot of times we have these unhealed emotions here on Earth that cause us to enter into these unloving transactions.

17.7.2. Loving behaviour for soulmates on Earth

Let's say I approached my soulmate and she's married and I just said, "Look, I feel you're my soulmate; I've realised that you're my soulmate. I've known it now for a while, I just wanted to tell you and I'll catch you later." (Laughter) Well you will catch her later, because you'll catch her sometime in the spirit world if it's not on Earth, so sooner or later she's yours. So you could just leave it at that, couldn't you? That's having no expectation of the outcome. (01:01:39:00)

She could then feel about it and go, "Wow, yeah I've always felt this sort of strange feeling with him," and she starts to feel about all of those things. But if she starts approaching you without discussing it with her husband, morally she's way out of line now. She would first have to go and talk to her husband and say, "You know I've started having some realisations that you and I are probably not meant to be together. There's this other guy who I've known from my childhood who I've never had a relationship with, or I have many years ago or whatever, but he's the man who I'm with and I know that he probably feels the same way. He told me a few weeks ago that he's feeling the same way." You'd be open and honest about the whole thing if you were dealing with things in love and in truth. But most of the time we don't want to deal with it in love and truth because we're afraid of the outcome. (01:02:35:00)

Let's say a man goes along and tells a woman that he's her soulmate and she's married. So she goes straight to her husband and says, "Look, this guy thinks he's my soulmate." She could easily do that, couldn't she? Why wouldn't she do that if she really loved him? Of course she would do that if she really loved him. Now she might not believe the man is her soulmate, she might not believe him at all, but she still needs to tell her husband because there should be openness and honesty and truth within the partnership. If there's not then you have to start questioning what kind of relationship there is.

She could just go straight up to him and say, "This guy came up to me the other day and he said he thinks he's my soulmate. What do you think of that?" And she could even discuss it with her husband and then she could wave it all off. She could do anything; she could wave it all off, she could think about it, she could have a realisation herself, who knows what might happen after that? And if I'm her soulmate, it is none of my business what happens after that actually, and if I pester her, try to control her, try to manipulate her, try to influence her in any way, all I am doing is having a lack of integrity that sooner or later is damaging my own soul, which means it's also damaging her.

So I can stop doing all of that and just state the truth. If she rings me up, the first thing I would say is, "Does your husband know you're ringing me up?" and if she says, "No," then I'd say, "Well I can't have this conversation with you. He needs to know that you're ringing me." That's what I would do if I had integrity. But if I didn't have integrity, I'd go, "Oh it's so exciting, my soulmate's ringing up now," and I'd talk to her for ten minutes before I realised actually, "This is out of line because her husband doesn't even know she's calling me. That's why it's out of line." Then I need to address that issue. (01:04:43:00)

The problem is that we often become so enthusiastic about it that we start compromising morals and we start compromising truth, compromising integrity, which is all compromising love in the end. And as soon as we compromise love there can only be a poor outcome, even if it's with our soulmate. So my suggestion is to never do that, never compromise those things. Be in integrity.

17.8. The example of when AJ met Mary (continued)

What happened with myself and Mary was that Mary sends me a little email on Valentine's Day, February 14th it was, saying, "I heard from my parents that you think you and I have some kind of soul connection. Please tell me: I want to know firstly what you think about this and secondly why you have not discussed this with me yourself." (Laughter) That was Mary's email. And she was spot on right in both cases; firstly why haven't I discussed it with her myself? Because I was gutless and had a heap of emotions to work through, basically that's the truth. I had to work through those emotions, which I did do for that month and a half before she contacted me, and then she asked me a question.

Now everyone who was with me at the time said to me, "Don't go too heavy on her; don't tell her what's really going down. Just give her a little bit and then she'll ask for a bit more," and I'm going, "What? No I'm just going to lay it all out on the table," which is what I should have done at the start because that's the thing that's most harmonious with love and truth. So I emailed her back and said to her, "Yes I believe you are my soulmate. I'm Jesus by the way," which she knew anyway, "and I feel you are Mary Magdalene," and then I just described how I felt. It's an email that she recently read again and she still cries a lot about it actually when she reads it. It was twelve pages long and I just said what I felt to her.

Now I still had no expectation. I didn't think that anything would come of it because I could still feel some connection she had to an old relationship; I could still feel she had quite a lot of personal anger with me from our first century memories and quite a lot of stuff like that. What I felt was that Mary would leave Australia, go back overseas to a refugee camp somewhere and work there for a few years, and over that time she'd probably think about it. And I was hopeful that at some point in the future if I was travelling past her in one of the round-the-world trips I was doing, I might be able to pop in and say hello. That was basically the most that I was feeling would probably happen. And I was just allowing myself to feel the sadness of that as well, to feel the sadness that, "Nothing is going to happen from here. I've just written twelve pages that are going to freak her out something shocking." And the truth is that the twelve pages did freak her out because it connected her with some emotions within herself that she then started to feel which really stressed her out at the time. So I was there, I had written this twelve page response to Mary's email and I had described my feelings. That's all I did, I just described my feelings. I also said to her that she didn't have to trust me, she didn't have to do anything, she didn't have to respond, I was just happy that she'd given me an opportunity to express my feelings and I also apologised to her that I hadn't expressed my feelings sooner and she had to hear my feelings from somebody else, which is something that had upset Mary.

And so at that point I didn't really expect any reply or anything like that, I just felt my feelings about it. I was overseas by now and Mary was in Australia, and then a few days later I got another email from Mary asking a few more questions, which I replied to directly, again not with any expectations. And then Mary started asking more questions, which I replied to directly, but in the process we basically started to develop a friendship and eventually I said, "Can I call you?" And it took about a week for Mary to decide whether that was on or not, didn't it, darling? And of course Mary wasn't in a relationship. If Mary had been in a relationship of course I would not have even spoken to her again until she had owned up to the person she was in a relationship with what was actually going on. But because she wasn't in a relationship, we could have a free conversation, which we did and the free conversation just grew from there. (01:10:22:00)

Now Mary appropriately pointed out to me that I did not say to her what I felt initially, and I should have, and that's why I'm telling you as well that it would be the wisest thing to do if you know who your soulmate is, to just go and tell them the truth, without expectation. Because when I look back at that, I have a bit of sadness about it too because I feel like it would have been much better. Now I don't know if anything would have been different but it would have been much better for my own sake if I had actually just come out and said the truth.

As it turned out it was Mary's parents who told her that I felt she was my soulmate and they found out from somebody else who told them. So she was eventually told in a really long-winded way, and I feel it would have been much better coming from me than coming through this roundabout circuitous route, which was obviously quite upsetting for Mary. Looking back on it I can see it was totally driven by my own emotional injuries. (01:11:42:00)

17.9. Developing the soulmate relationship

As these relationships start growing we can start working through the different emotions and when I say growing, initially for many people when you meet your soulmate there are going to be anger and other types of emotions to work your way through. A lot of people think it's going to be like, "Ah, I've met my soulmate, everything's wonderful" from that moment on. Well that cannot be the case because you've got emotional injuries inside of you and they also have emotional injuries inside of them, and error only comes out of you with pain. Error creates pain inside of you and the only way error can come out is in a painful manner. So I've got to accept the fact that if I'm going to come together with my soulmate there are going to be some painful emotions that I'm going to have to deal with myself, and my soulmate is going to have some painful emotions that she's going to have to deal with herself because we have this pain in us from the error that's in us and we need to release it through this painful process. It's just the same way as if we have a passionate desire for God and we'd be growing towards God and releasing our pains along the way, exactly the same way;. That's the beauty of the soulmate relationship; it just helps you grow on the path towards God as well. (01:13:10:00)

By the time I've done all of that, in the end I'm actually feeling all of my emotions in humility and truth, as I described. I have this passionate desire burning in my own heart for my soulmate, irrespective to what she has going on for me. And if she has nothing going on for me, I feel my grief about that. I don't project it at her. I don't blame her and say, "You're my soulmate, you should love me!" I don't do all of that stuff. As soon as I feel that, I'm out of harmony with love and I need to look at myself and say, "Why am I projecting this terrible emotion that my soulmate has to do what I want? Why am I doing that? There's an unloving emotion inside of me causing that to occur." (01:14:02:00)

17.10. An example of a lady having expectations of her soulmate

Participant: A while back I told you I thought I knew who my soulmate was. I'm doubting that now but I'm not sure whether I'm doubting it because it's just too painful. A lot of things have happened in the last couple of weeks; I have told him I thought he was my soulmate, but I had huge expectations so he shut down and I emotionally melted down all over the place. He really doesn't want anything to do with me but we do share a house so it's a little complicated. A couple of weeks ago he actually pushed me to go out with another man.

Which, if the soulmate part of your soul was open, you wouldn't have actually done.

Participant: Sorry?

If the soulmate part of your soul was open, you wouldn't have actually gone out with the other man even if your soulmate pushed you into doing it.

Participant: Gee, you know everything, don't you? Because I didn't even tell you; I went and had coffee with him two days ago. (01:15:25:00)

Exactly! (Laughter) But can you see that you need to go into the meltdown grief that you were feeling? That's the emotion that you're avoiding now and you need to go into that emotion. Many people do this; they go and tell their soulmate that, the soulmate has no response and the person then just goes into this rage and anger and meltdown about the fact that the soulmate is not responding. Well that's your projection at your soulmate that you need to heal before your soulmate's ever going to respond.

There was one lady I knew overseas, as soon as she told her soulmate and he told her he wasn't really interested, she then just pursued him relentlessly. Eventually she got him to go to bed with her and he still didn't treat her very well at all; they're not together and she still pursued him. That is totally out of harmony with love. Also, even if my soulmate tells me that I should go and be with somebody else, if I'm connected to my soulmate and open at my soul level to my soulmate, I would never be able to do that. (01:16:34:00)

Participant: Yes I understand that from yesterday, from the first session of the soulmate relationship discussion. Yesterday was a great eye opener for me and I realise all that. I'm still very confused though but now I understand that all I have to do is work on my emotions. I was a little confused about my feelings, working on my feelings of desire for my soulmate without projecting, because honestly a friend of mine told me the other day that I was projecting and I didn't realise that I was projecting. So I have to learn that I'm projecting, I have to recognise that I'm projecting. So now I'm just really in a state of fear about all sorts of things happening at the moment, and I just don't know where to go with it. I know intellectually I have to just work on all my own feelings and I hope I'm doing that. Is that the solution? (01:17:46:00)

It is the solution but let's talk about your personal situation a bit more because it does illustrate some really important points in terms of what we need to do emotionally.

17.10.1. Being rejected by her soulmate

So here's your guy over there, here's you (AJ draws on the whiteboard) and you go and tell him the truth that you feel he's your soulmate. At that point everything's fine. You're in harmony with truth, and you've told the truth to this man, so everything's fine at this point. But he then responds with rejection. He rejects you. What's playing out now is your relationship with your father.

A man rejects a woman who tells him that he is her soulmate

Participant: Yes, I know that, he's the perfect reflection of my father and what I'm trying to get from my father.

Okay. Now if your soulmate rejects you, trust me, it's one of the most difficult emotions to deal with inside of yourself, because you feel the pain of the other half of yourself rejecting you which is a really, really big emotion. Now if I haven't dealt with rejection of my father before I meet my soulmate, then my soulmate is going to be the person who actually triggers it. So what I need to do is let myself feel those emotions of rejection. But when you told him you actually went in with an expectation, which is unloving in the first place. You went in with an expectation. Going in with an expectation that was already unloving is of course probably going to evoke an unloving response. It's very rare for an unloving action to evoke a loving response; the other person has to be pretty developed if you get a loving response out of them after an unloving action. (01:19:48:00)

So you get a reaction of rejection, which is actually an unhealed father emotion inside of you. It's something that's not healed inside of you that needs to be healed. So let yourself go ahead and feel that overwhelming experience that you believe this person's your soulmate and you just got rejected by them. How does it make you feel about yourself if your own soulmate's going to reject you? That's pretty powerful isn't it? Can you see how there must be some pretty deep emotions there?

What happened inside of you is that you didn't want to feel those emotions. Now as soon as we try to block off the emotion we're instantly projecting. The first person you're going to be projecting at is the person who rejected you. You're going to be projecting at him quite strongly. Now your first response might be anger or to try to withdraw and run away or whatever, but whatever it is it's still a projection at them, which would be better served if you could just start to heal this rejection emotion by feeling it. So just have some good cries. (01:21:01:00)

As soon as an unhealed emotion is blocked and not felt it is projected at the other person

When I felt rejection from my soulmate, which happened about four or five months after we got together, when we parted for three months, I cried for five hours a day for three months. Some people would say that I'm a bit of a tear or whatever, but that's what happened. I just cried for five hours a day for three months and I went through lots of different realisations in the process. One of the biggest realisations that I had at the end of the process was that I was actually being unloving to her and I started going through a lot of emotions about these projections still coming out of me towards my soulmate. And I went into those emotions and I felt them all and then I started connecting to the truth and that was that I actually believed that I was unworthy of my soulmate. And then I started feeling all those groups of emotions and after I came out of that, I knew my soulmate would call me in a few days' time, I just knew. And sure enough Mary rang me two days later.

17.10.2. Being rejected by her father

Participant: Just in the last couple of years, I have been saying to my father, "I love you dad" and his response is, "Thank you". I've been trying to get him to say I love you...

Exactly.

Participant: ...because I don't remember him ever saying I love you to me. He could have when I was a little girl and I know I've been trying to get this man to say I love you. (01:22:49:00)

You've been trying to manipulate him into telling you that he loves you and the truth is that when you heal the emotion inside of you, he will probably then automatically tell you without your manipulating him into it.

Participant: I'm concerned that because this man is reflecting my father to me so strongly that that could be the reason why I think he's my soulmate and he isn't? So do you want to tell me whether he is or he isn't?

Nope. (Laughter)

Participant: Okay I'll take it as a positive. (Laughter) No I mean as a positive that I have to work on my emotions to find out.

You can see why politicians just say, "No comment"! Any comment is taken as something. Yeah, so what I'm saying to you is, "How are you really going to know that this man is your soulmate until you heal this emotion with regard to your father?" And also, even if he is your soulmate, this emotion with regard to your father still has to be healed before anything is going to change. So either way you still need to let yourself feel this terrible emotion of being rejected by the person you think is your soulmate. (01:24:07:00)

A lot of people go, "Oh, my soulmate wouldn't have rejected me so they can't be my soulmate." What? Yes, your soulmate is just as capable of rejecting you as everybody else. How is that logical? There's no logic in that. It's just a matter of dealing with this emotion. "I need to deal with this emotion, which comes from my father," as you correctly identified, not from this man. All he is doing is reflecting it, and by the way "I also have to deal with the fact that I had an unloving expectation. Why did I have that?" There's another emotion in that, and you need to work through that particular emotion. (01:24:45:00)

Now the more I do that, the more I work my way through my unhealed emotion, no matter what my soulmate does, they will eventually be drawn to me because I've dealt with those emotions. They are not going to be drawn to me by my browbeating them.

Participant: Oh no, it definitely doesn't work. Next time I say, "I love you dad," I want to say to him, "Why don't you say 'I love you' back to me?" But I'm too scared; I don't know whether that's right or not.

Can I just address your first comment though? The truth is that you don't love your dad.

Participant: That's probably very true.

So you're telling him a lie just to get a response that in the end would also be a lie. Obviously that's not going to work out. The time you will love your dad is when you truly feel all of the healed emotions inside of you; all the unhealed stuff has gone and you've healed your stuff towards your dad. At that moment you will love your dad and at that moment your dad will probably feel it from you. He might not respond to it but he will at least feel it from you. At the moment all he's feeling from you is anger and he knows just as well as you do that it's not real. (01:26:04:00)

17.10.3. Feeling rejected by God

Participant: Okay, yeah. I was talking to Mary before and something profound happened yesterday. I realised through someone else's comment that I didn't have a connection with God and I couldn't work out why. I realised this morning that I don't have an emotional connection towards God and how that's how I feel about my father. I feel like I wasn't given an emotional connection from him and I can't give him an emotional connection, and it's the same with my mother. So when someone said to me the other day, "Think of God as a woman," I thought, "That's not going to work either." So I want to open up an emotional connection with God because I know that if I do, this is going to help everything else too. So how do I open up an emotional connection to God? (01:26:59:00)

That's a very good question. The way you do it is by relieving the blockage. If God's a male what's God going to do to you?

Participant: Reject me.

Yes. You need to feel the emotion of rejection by God. So even though it's not true that God is rejecting you, you've got to forget that. The truth is that you feel rejected by God so feel that emotion, feel it and when you feel it and connect to it, you'll connect to this rejection by your dad and you'll release the causal emotion of that. At the moment you're trying to establish an emotional connection without releasing the blockage to the connection and it's the blockage that prevents this emotion from flowing in you. (01:27:48:00)

An emotional connection cannot be formed until the unhealed blocked emotion is experienced

You see, many of us do the same thing. We think we can intellectually establish a relationship with someone, or that we can intellectually establish a relationship with God. The truth is that you can't. It all has to be done emotionally. If I have a blockage inside of me to feeling that God is going to reject me, I may try to skip over that, so, "No, God won't reject me. I know the truth - God doesn't reject anyone." That's immaterial; the feeling inside of me is that God has rejected me. I need to feel that feeling completely. "God's rejected me." Go into that feeling and release that feeling and when you release that feeling the error that God's going to reject me is gone and at that moment you can have a longing for God and feel some Divine Love flow through you because you no longer feel you're going to be rejected by God. (01:28:40:00)

You see, love can't flow through you until you're in a state of emotional truth about the issue. The emotional truth about the issue is that God will not reject me. That's the real emotional truth about this issue, but it may not be inside of myself. It has to be inside of myself before the connection will be truly established. The only way for that to happen is for me to release the error that's already in there because truth and error can't reside in the same location at the same time. I can't on one hand have this huge emotion in me that God's going to reject me and on the other hand have a pure longing for God at the same time, because my longing for God is always going to be tainted by the fact that God's going to reject me.

And it's the same with your soulmate and that's all related to your father; the whole lot of that's related to your father. This is why sometimes meeting your soulmate, or even believing someone can be your soulmate, can be a huge emotional trigger if you accept it because whatever they give back to you is a part of your Law of Attraction, which is going to heal your relationship with God, your relationship with yourself and also in the end your relationship with your soulmate, whoever that is, whether it's the person you imagine it to be or someone different. (01:30:00:00)

So I suppose the moral of that story is to actually allow yourself to speak the truth but understand that every time you have an expectation that is unloving, whatever response you get back is your Law of Attraction. So if the person who I feel is my soulmate rejects me, that is my Law of Attraction. I've got some unhealed emotion to work through there, inside of me \- not them. They've got some unhealed emotion too perhaps; if they're my soulmate they might easily have, but that's immaterial. I can't control what they're doing; I can't control what they see. All I can do is do my own stuff. All I can do is own my own feelings. (01:30:48:00)

When Mary and I didn't see each other for a period of time because of the circumstances, all I did was just go into my emotion about that. "Mary doesn't feel attracted to me, she doesn't want me," all of those kinds of emotions, and I just went through that. Now I knew that it was happening because she was afraid and I knew that it was happening because of her fear of some family issues and so forth. I could have just told myself, "Ah, it's just because she's afraid," and then that would help me skip over all the emotion that I felt. Forget about doing that; don't tell yourself all the stories even if they're true. Allow yourself just to feel the truthful emotional response that you have inside of yourself; that's what will clear it.

The Soulmate Relationship: Session 2 Part 2

18. The soulmate part of the soul

18.1. The soul half needs bodies or another half of a soul to experience life

I would like to talk to you about this soulmate part of your soul, so that you understand what I mean by that. You see, when your soul splits into two, basically it cannot experience anything in its split state without there being some appendages. Now what I mean by appendages is that you need a body - a material body and/or a spirit body attached to the soul through which that half of the soul absorbs its experience. The way God actually created it is that the full soul can absorb an experience only in the soul union state; the halves of the soul need bodies to start absorbing experiences. (00:01:07:00)

When the soul splits into two it requires bodies (a spirit body and a physical body) through which to absorb experiences

Now what's really happening is that there are these cords that connect the spirit and material bodies to the soul. I've drawn them so you can see them as separate but of course your soul is bigger than you are. Your soul is actually surrounding the two bodies and the soul even controls all the physiological functions of both bodies. Now the soul interfaces with these bodies through these connections, which allow experiences from the outside world to enter the body. Then through the body the experiences get funnelled into the soul as an experience, and that is how we start absorbing our surroundings. So as soon as we have a body we're individualised. Whether that body is just the spirit body because we die soon after individualisation, or it's both, we are now individualised as a half of the soul. In other words we are now starting to be conscious of our own experience. (00:02:12:00)

Now, the issue is that this half of the soul can't exist on its own without there being a body or something else attached, which could actually be the other half of the soul. So when the male/female combined soul separates, it now needs the bodies to attach to that half of the soul in order for the half of the soul to gain experience. So half of the soul splits away at incarnation and of course the bodies of each of the two halves are created at conception.

Now when you think about that, you can see that the bodies are actually like an attenuation of the soul in a lot of ways. And this is what finishes up happening on the Earth because we are so distant from our soul; we start living in these bodies as if these bodies are us. I start living in the spirit body and the physical body as if that's me. The Truth is that it's not me at all. What's really me is the soul, and I am the masculine expression of the soul and my soulmate is the feminine expression of this soul. And when these bodies are attached, because we've got all of these emotional injuries in the environment into which we are incarnating, we start living in these bodies rather than living in this soul. As a result of that, we start taking on all the environmental injuries regarding these bodies and the soul. (00:04:07:00)

18.2. Development of belief systems in the soul

Now the first sets of injuries that we are generally most responsive to are our parental type of injuries. In fact, these come right down to the first time you open your eyes after you're born and you start observing. After a while the clarity improves in your sight, and eventually you start observing quite clearly, the first form of the male in front of you, which in most cases happens to be your father. After three or four months, your eyesight is starting to clear up, and you start observing the real male, right in front of you, who's picking you up and nursing you and you start seeing the real female who is your mother and so you start identifying emotionally with these people. That began at conception but as you receive more and more and you see more and more and the senses of your soul open up more and more, through these bodily senses opening up as you grow, you're now absorbing belief systems into your soul, belief systems that your parents actually have. (00:05:14:00)

Now one of the first belief systems that starts entering your soul is about the ideal man and the ideal woman. And who do you think they're going to be? Very similar to what mum and dad are. This is starting to get established: if mum happens to be five foot three, quite slim and pretty and maybe a blonde, then during this formulation stage your ideal may finish up becoming that. But if you find your mother quite repulsive, then it might be the flip side of that, just depending on the emotions that come at you. And the same applies to your father. If your father happens to be six foot three and a bit tubby in the middle and pretty solid then that becomes your definition of the ideal man, the man who's going to make you safe and secure and so forth. That enters your soul. These are not actually truths entering your soul but the belief systems, which could be in error that we come to accept as truth inside of us.

Now there's no harm in having an ideal. The problem is that most of the time our ideals surround our parental images, which are often very, very different from our soulmate and what they look like, what they act like and what they feel like. Because our soulmate is going to be an ideal for us personally, in terms of the mirror image of ourselves. (00:06:43:00)

So technically we now start living out of the soul when we start living more in our bodies, and we do that because that's what our environment does. People on Earth are taught to not be emotional, even as young children. When a young child is crying, and the parent goes, "There, there, there," they are already stopping the child from crying as they're doing this. And if there's an emotion of distress in the mother, let's say, at the time she's doing this, what's the child going to start feeling here? "Every time I cry mum gets distressed." There's going to be a responsibility thing set up; she doesn't have to say a word, she's just feeling these emotions. The soul is assimilating these emotions through the sensory apparatus of the bodies and all of a sudden the baby is starting to feel these things. (00:07:33:00)

18.3. The physical body has fewer senses than the spirit body, which has fewer senses than the soul

Now the soul itself has a super set of sensory apparatus that the spirit body doesn't have and the spirit body has a super set of what you call apparatus or tools available to it that the physical body doesn't have. What I mean by that is that your physical body is said to have the five senses, but the spirit body has a lot more senses than five and the soul actually has thousands of senses that change and grow as you develop in Divine Love.

We're used to having these senses inside of us physically. But if a spirit had to live in your body after passing into the spirit world they would go, "I don't want to go back there. The senses of your body are so limited compared to what I can do." Every single spirit can teleport. Can you? How limiting is that? If all of a sudden you could start teleporting and you started getting used to it, after five or ten years of our time on Earth of doing it you'd be pretty used to that, wouldn't you? Even after a few months you'd think it would be pretty hot, wouldn't you? You'd feel really comfortable with that, and if after a while somebody said, "You've got to go back to your body now," you'd be pretty annoyed wouldn't you? You'd go, "Why do I want to go back to my body now? I can do all of this stuff I couldn't do in the body." Because you've got a body that actually has a heightened sense, heightened tools or apparatus in which it can interact with its environment.

So the physical body has a very limited set of tools with which to sense its surroundings. The spirit body has a super set of those tools; in other words it has more tools that are available to it, but it doesn't have the tools that are available to it at the soul level. The soul has the maximum number of tools available to it, even in its unhealed state. In its healed state, in the sixth sphere state, it has a huge number of tools available. And then when it receives Divine Love, those tools grow exponentially as well. The soul has this ever-increasing number of tools available to it, and that's a half of the soul. Once the half combines with the other half, then you've got a whole new set of tools available to that combined form which eventually you'll start experiencing. (00:10:14:00)

Now if you think about it from a long term perspective, the soul senses are the most important senses that you could ever develop. The senses of the physical body, like playing tennis, are not very important to develop in the long run. It can be fun and you can enjoy it in the short term perhaps, but in the long run it's not going to be something that is going to give you huge amounts of satisfaction. You're not going to feel like tennis much, particularly when you can teleport and do a heap of other things, manufacture whole games that we know nothing about here on Earth. Tennis is going to be like baby land in terms of what you could do in that condition.

In the soul condition, those kinds of things become so unimportant. As we go through and start growing in different areas of our self-awareness in our Earth existence, the truth is that generally we first start experiencing our physical body senses and unfortunately for the majority of the planet, we only ever develop them. Now, we sometimes get into the spirit body senses. For example, our intellect is often starting to be developed, and our intellect comes from our spirit body's brain. Our spirit body has a mind and that's part of our intelligence, so we start developing that. Unfortunately we often become brain-dominant in that process, as we develop that part of ourselves, but we neglect huge amounts of our spirit body senses even in our own development here on Earth.

Most people on Earth develop their physical and spirit body senses rather than their soul senses

But then we get onto the New Age path and we start realising that there's this thing called mediumship and healing and there are all these other things. So we start to experiment with what I would call metaphysical truths, which are all surrounding the spirit form. But for the majority of the planet, the soul development is totally neglected, isn't it? Now because this is a soul-to-soul union that we're encouraging with our soulmate, can you see it's going to confront a lot of the belief systems that we have about the development of the other forms? (00:12:51:00)

18.4. Developing the soulmate part of our souls

For example, I'm standing here in a physical form and Mary's in a physical form. If this is a soulmate relationship, I come along into this relationship with a lot of pre-conceived intellectual ideas of what is my ideal. They are based on emotional connections that I have to my parents and what I have perceived from them to be the ideal. So if my mother is five foot three, she is quite slim, she's classified as brunette then that becomes part of my physical ideal for my soulmate. And unless I'm willing to challenge that ideal, I'll probably look around and anyone taller than five foot three gets neglected in terms of my attractions, because of this emotional connection to the parent. I'm judging everything through the development of the spirit body and physical body parts of the form, and the errors that have entered my soul as a subsequent result of that; I'm judging my entire surroundings including what my soulmate should be through that. And so what do I do? I walk along the street, my soulmate walks past and I don't even notice her, and the reason I don't even notice her is that the soul part of myself is undeveloped. (00:14:24:00)

Now once I develop the soul part of myself and I start opening up towards the other half of myself, I'm no longer focussed on the spirit and physical bodies so much anymore. I now start perceiving myself as a soul with these appendages, which we'll call bodies, but I don't see the bodies as me. I see the soul as the real me; I can feel inside of myself that my personality, my attributes, my characteristics, my desires, my longings, my passions and my intentions are all from my soul, and I'm really starting to focus on that. And ironically in that place at the same time I'm starting to see everyone else around me in the same manner. I'm not really seeing their face and I'm not really seeing what they wear anymore so much. It has to be sort of outstanding and really strike you before you notice those things because what you're starting to notice is the soul, the thing that's really the real person. (00:15:41:00)

As we develop we focus more on our soul rather than our spirit and physical bodies

So, you're starting to open up this soul part of yourself and as a part of that process, the soulmate part of yourself starts getting opened up because you're starting to become sensitive to the flows, the feelings, going on between yourself and any other person who comes into your field of view at the soul level. In other words you can feel any other person that comes into your soul awareness, and it doesn't necessarily mean that you see them. You can start feeling every single person around the planet pretty much. As soon as you're aware of them as an entity, you can now start to feel them and what emotions and feelings they have, what desires and passions they have and what belief systems they have that are all a part of the soul, and you can do the same with your soulmate. (00:16:40:00)

Now what happens from an energetic perspective is that your soul is now not just connected to your bodies, but your soul is capable of bypassing your bodies for its experience, because you're developing the soul's capability. You're now capable of not just experiencing the soul through the bodies, through the connection of the cords that are connecting the body to the soul, but you're actually now capable of experiencing at the soul level without the bodies being involved, and this is what your emotions are all about. When you feel an emotion, most of the time you don't need your bodies to experience these emotions and it's the emotions that are actually the most powerful part of you.

Many of you who have started connecting to your emotions are starting to understand this in a more full manner. What you start feeling and experiencing inside of yourself is this deep feeling that when you are emotional (and it doesn't really matter what the emotion is) that's the real you; you can start really feeling that that's the real you. And every interaction comes from the feeling place inside of you. You might be throwing your arms around and throwing your legs around, and sometimes I do, and that's just an expression of your soul's emotion. The body is just now the tool by which your soul is expressing itself, but you don't actually need that tool for the soul to express itself. (00:18:32:00)

Now once you start doing that, you start opening up to experiences. It is the emotions that are related to the male and the female that are what I would term the soulmate part of yourself.

The soulmate part of yourself is capable of being developed without your bodies being involved, without your spirit body or your material body being involved, and the beauty of that is that your soul starts feeling other souls at that level. So you're not judging things now through what you see, you're judging things now through everything that you feel. Everything you feel is now the important thing.

18.5. The soulmate part of the soul needs to be open in order to recognise our soulmate

Now let's say you're walking along the road and you've not only got these bodies that you're expressing yourself through, but now you're very, very aware at the soul level, which bypasses the bodies, of all this stuff that's out there. In other words you're not really interested in other people's bodies anymore, you're now just interested in their soul and as that goes out of you and you walk past your soulmate, what do you think you're going to start experiencing? You'll be going, "Whoa, something's going on here!" It's a bit like, you know how when you get magnets and you pass them by each other and they're attracted and it's pretty hard to keep them apart? That's what you'll start experiencing. You'll go, "Whoa, wow, this is really different, this is different from any other person I've met." Every other single person you've met is going to be a different experience from your soulmate experience when you're open at this level and so you walk past and you go, "No, this is very different, something's really up here." (00:20:29:00)

When I met Mary I was talking to her brother, and she came and sat down in front of me and I didn't know what to do, because I could just feel this totally different feeling to what I could ever remember having in my entire life. And she just sat there and she looked at me like I was some pretty dumb person really. Well I was, wasn't I really? I didn't really know what to say. Mary didn't judge me like that, I'm just saying that's how it felt, but I was just tongue-tied because I was feeling these feelings and I didn't know how to express them. I certainly couldn't express them to Mary in the situation we were in; I didn't feel I could, and so it was just overwhelming.

Now when I met her in the first century it was a very, very similar experience for me, exactly the same kind of experience. In the beginning it was like walking past and, "Whoa! What's going on here? There's something going on here between my soul and this person. What's happening here?" And the beauty of healing the male/female part of your soul, the soulmate part of your soul if you like, and allowing yourself to feel the passions and desire of that grow, is that your soul bypasses the bodies in its awareness. Now you feel the other person and it's almost like the body isn't there, and all of a sudden feelings arise in you that are the result of this soul-based interaction. (00:22:13:00)

Now once that happens, you have then come to realise for the first time in your life, not at an intellectual level but at an emotional level, that there is such a thing as a soulmate connection, and you also start to realise how special and unique it is. It is a unique connection and also the most everlasting connection that you will ever have. Many of you are very connected with your families but to be frank with you, by the time you reach the third, fourth or fifth sphere of the spirit world, you're not going to be very connected to your family compared with your connection to your soulmate. And by the time you reach the Celestial heavens, the only times that you'll be connected with your family is if they've reached them with you, because aside from your soulmate connection, you will feel very strongly that you do not need, or desire, or want any other connection other than this one; that this one is the essential connection that's there for the rest of your lifetime. (00:23:20:00)

And God created it that way, so that somebody else is going to be able to completely understand you, not for any other reason other than they are you. And if you think about it, often in a relationship we are looking for someone who understands us, right? Well, once the soulmate relationship is perfected, your soulmate is you, so of course they are going to understand you. They're going to have very, very similar feelings to what you have about all sorts of matters and issues. A lot of people then go and say, "Oh you're just in love with yourself then," (laughter) which of course you are. That is what soulmate love is.

Soulmate love is a perfect love of yourself, in the sense that when I love Mary perfectly, I will also love myself, because myself is the sum total of the two of us together. And so the whole complete soul is really loving itself completely once the two halves completely connect with each other. We're actually allowing the two halves to connect completely. It's the soulmate part of your soul that needs to be open, and that's the unique thing that can only occur with your soulmate. No other person in this universe can connect with you in the same manner. (00:25:26:00)

Mary, do you want to come up? Mary's not feeling good today so she's indecisive.

19. God created soulmates to grow together as they develop in love

Mary: I just wanted to ask if you could talk about why God created soulmates. I think you touched on it, that this person is actually a part of you, but I find it really beautiful the way that God created a partner for us to grow towards God and if we're doing that, we will naturally come together.

Yeah, okay. So we're down here, standing on top of the Earth (AJ draws on the whiteboard). There's my physical body, but that's not the real me. I've got a spirit body as well, and that's not the real me either; the real me is my soul. And then there's my soulmate somewhere on this planet, say she's over here. (00:26:37:00)

Mary: So we come down and start the process of individualisation by incarnating. Obviously in this imperfect world in which we live at the moment, through this process we gather lots of injuries on our soul.

You could say that basically we begin in a first sphere condition.

Soulmates incarnate onto Earth into a first sphere condition

Mary: Yes. But as we start to heal our soul, and if we involve God in that process and we develop a desire for God, then we'll start to grow towards God as we increase our desire and work on our injuries, releasing our emotions. And because we're soulmates our soul is essentially the one; we're halves of the same soul that has its own personality and passions and desires that God creates in us, each of them unique. So as we continue to grow, because we have the same characteristics and personality in our soul, as we release more and more emotion and grow through our spheres of development, we will naturally come closer to each other because of these inbuilt things within our soul. (00:29:00:00)

Soulmates grow together as they progress towards God

19.1. Following passions and desires draws the two halves together

Yes, so the irony is that God created it so that if one half of the soul follows its passions and desires all of the time in harmony with love, it will always attract the other half of the soul. That's the beauty of it. And of course as you progress through the spheres you are getting closer to God but you are getting closer to each other, and that's one of the reasons why your God-relationship is the most important relationship. The reason is that through that relationship you can heal a lot of your soulmate injuries.

We can heal a lot of these injuries that we pick up on the planet just by progressing towards God. The more Divine Love we receive, the more we release ourselves from emotional injuries. If it's a heterosexual-type soul it relates particularly to emotional injuries towards the opposite gender, and if it's a homosexual-type soul we also need release emotional injuries towards the same gender as well as the opposite gender. It's exactly the same; we need to release both the male and female-based injuries whatever type of soul we are, and as we do that, we just get closer to God and we're automatically drawing our soulmate to us. (00:30:14:00)

You see, when you follow your desire and passion your half of the soul is following its desire and passion and the other half of your soul is already being drawn into that same pattern, because you're actually helping your complete soul into this state of finding your desires and passions. It's just a beautiful arrangement when you think about it.

Mary: And the fact is that as you release more and more injury, your personalities and passions and desires will grow more and more similar, and you have the perfect playmate to develop together spiritually.

Yeah and when you're in the soul union state, that's what you are; you are just one soul that feels complete within itself. You feel complete within yourself because you are actually feeling each other and feeling each other's desires and because you have the same desires as your mate your desires get multiplied. (00:31:16:00)

19.2. Joining with your soulmate creates synergy

So if you imagine I have a desire to teach and Mary doesn't have a desire to teach, can you see that there wouldn't be a flow of energy on that one subject? But because we're half of the same soul, at some point Mary is going to have a desire to teach and she's already demonstrated that. Even though she's really afraid about getting up, she still needs to get up. That's part of the soul and so if Mary allows my desire to teach to enter her, it enters her and that increases her own desire to teach. That then increases my desire to teach and it's like a circulation of emotion that builds in intensity as I and Mary follow our desires. (00:31:59:00)

Mary: So the sum of our desires is greater than the parts.

Yeah. It's no longer one and one is two, it's now one and one is ten times as much. And then as we grow towards God, our soul's power in terms of its ability to experience emotions is growing exponentially as well. So for now it's not one and one is ten anymore either, it's like every time I grow and step towards God and every time Mary grows and steps towards God this intense emotion starts flowing; now I can feel it and cope with emotion that weeks or months ago I wouldn't have been able to cope with experiencing without perhaps even dying. This is why if a spirit in the twenty second sphere came to you and projected all of their emotions at you, you'd just die from it. They're loving but you'd die from it because your soul isn't able to cope with the intensity of the emotion. That's how powerful they are, feeling their emotions.

So when they come to you they attenuate their emotions to suit your condition. Imagine this build up and build up, this circular build up, and you imagine love for each other doing this. My love for Mary enters Mary and she accepts it because she has unblocked her emotional injuries about accepting love from her soulmate. And then she has also unblocked her emotional injuries about giving her love to her soulmate, and I've unblocked my emotions about receiving love from my soulmate, and now all of this love enters me from her, and then all of this love to her overwhelms me, and so imagine the love bond between the two halves as that grows. All that impedes its growth are our injuries and our inability to accept some truths. (00:33:56:00)

19.3. Prioritising God over our soulmate prevents stagnation

Mary: And that's why I feel the desire for God is so important. It's easier to reach a point in the relationship where you feel kind of comfortable, and so unless you have this burning desire to deal with your own soul and grow towards God, you can stagnate.

You will stagnate, yeah. We've seen people get together as soulmates and then stagnate in the second sphere for years and years and years, and we've seen people on Earth do the same. They get together with their soulmate and they've got compatible injuries that are acceptable to each other that they don't want to deal with because they are not growing towards God, and so they end up staying for the rest of their life as soulmates in the second sphere. That's really sad I feel because you have the potential to be this immensely powerful loving being if you continue progressing towards God.

So perhaps you can see that if your desire for God is number one then even though the desire for your soulmate (which is your desire for your own soul in the end) is number two, no matter what happens with this soul your desire for God will cause this soul to grow.

Whereas if you put your soulmate as number one and your desire for God number two, or lower than that, what will happen then? You will get to the point where you get your soulmate in your life, you feel very self-satisfied and you'll relax with the whole process. You'll enjoy the fact that you've caught up with them and you'll just stay in that place. There are souls in the sixth sphere state who met each other many thousands of years ago and have never grown from that state. They're completely in a relationship in the spirit world, they think it's a soulmate relationship that I'm talking about but it isn't because they haven't even gone through the union with God yet, let alone the union with their own soul, and so they stagnate here in the sixth sphere and they just stay in that place.

Now you've heard of Ramtha? Well Ramtha and his soulmate were in that place for quite some time, for tens of thousands of years. When we talked to them about progression beyond that point they started progressing and all of a sudden they got into these higher spheres and now their union is even greater. So while before Ramtha was the very dominant part of the soul - that was allowed at the sixth sphere - he is now less dominant and there is more of the feminine part of the soul interacting as well. I think he's in the ninth or tenth sphere now and that causes a very, very different feel from him. So anybody who would have been connecting to him before will probably feel that this is a different person and it is a different person; it's a person who has changed quite markedly. (00:37:10:00)

So that's the process towards God. Can you see it's just such a beautiful design in the end, isn't it? It makes perfect sense to the soul and it also explains why we always have this feeling that we want to be with somebody in the end, because there is this soul desire for the other half of yourself and it's always there. (00:37:40:00)

19.4. God designed us to be able to grow towards God with or without emotional injuries

Participant: I've got twenty five questions.

Only that many?

Participant: But I'll stick to one. My question is, in the whole plan of God, is it possible that the sum total of our soul injuries might be a positive development of our character, in the whole plan of things? Or are the soul injuries, like coming to your parents as a half, to be viewed completely negatively?

I would never view our soul injuries as completely negative; however they were all created by man's avoidance of God's Laws. They were all created by our walking away from God in the first instance. We don't have to have soul injuries to enjoy this process of union with the soulmate. In the future there'll be people born on this planet into the sixth sphere state who grow towards God after that state, and they won't need to deal with any of the soul injuries that many of you are currently dealing with. They'll just be able to enjoy the process instead of feeling the pain of the process. So we certainly don't need to have injuries in order to get to God; God designed it that we didn't need to have any, but unfortunately because of our free will and not having humility, that kicks off a whole negative series of events. But even in that negative series of events, all of our injuries end up working out to our benefit. It's really weird but that's what happens. Because of all the different injuries that we gather, we tend to go through them and then we realise certain things and that creates some of the passions in certain directions. (00:39:45:00)

Mary: I feel that that's the way God designed it. I love the potentialities in God's design. God didn't design us to suffer, but He gave us the gift of free will and within that he saw our potentialities. So then He created a whole other set of laws, like the Law of Attraction, the Law of Compensation, all of those things to allow us, or to encourage us to grow towards God.

All those laws confront the error that is within us anyway.

Mary: It's still a loving design. The perfect loving design is that we don't have to suffer, that we're not designed to suffer and that we can go towards God, but because we have free will there's a potentiality for suffering. So He put in a whole set of other loving laws to bring us back away from the suffering.

19.5. Our life truly begins in the soul union state

Participant: Okay, so now a big question. You follow along the path and the plan, you do your best, you go to God, you find your soulmate, you get to the twenty second sphere but what's the point? It is a wondrous journey, I feel the magnificence of it, but you're getting all the way there and then what happens? What's the point? (00:41:21:00)

Then you begin your life, Jen.

Mary: Then you're individualised and you're ready to go.

You've completed your individualisation process and now you begin to live, really live. You know, everything until the soul union state is actually not yet fully living.

Participant: I've just had that emotionally hit me, that's unbelievable. I'm so glad I asked that question.

So there you're like a new born babe sitting in Big Daddy's (God's) arms, and Big Daddy's now ready to teach you some things. You think you've learned up to then? Well Big Daddy begins (Laughter) teaching you. (00:42.10:00)

The problem is that it's impossible for our human mind to conceive infinity. It is possible for our soul to conceive it because our soul has the capacity to grow infinitely; that's where it's possible. And as we grow we have more of a concept of what "infinitely" really means on every level, emotionally more than any other level. By the time we reach this place we realise, "I'm just a little baby ready to begin my journey now as a completely unified soul, the two of us together as the complete unified soul, to learn a whole new set of things that we could never have learned before because we didn't have the emotional capacity to learn."

And remember that the intellectual capacity fell away from us at the seventh sphere. That went then and after that everything became more and more and more and more and more emotional. The intellect now becomes a subset of our soul; it's a part of our soul but a very minor part of our soul. It's what we use to express a lot of things, but the soul's emotions are the most powerful thing. (00:43:40:00)

And that's the problem, that if I don't allow myself to open up to the soulmate part of my soul, then I'm also precluding myself from all of those additional experiences. Just like if I don't allow myself to open up to the God connection in my soul, then I'm precluding myself from all experiences above the sixth sphere. The problem is that we become so addicted to our own intelligence that we often get to the sixth sphere and think, "There must be nothing beyond that because I already think I'm pretty good." On the Divine Love Path you don't ever feel that; as you grow you just realise, "Whoa, I'm a lot smaller than I realised." And it's like becoming fully conscious of your relationship to God in the sense that you're a lot smaller than you thought you were when you began it, but you are also a lot more connected and you understand infinitely more intellectual information, because you are now capable of understanding the universe at the soul rather than at the mind.

Participant: So it seems to me that in the whole process faith and trust in God will unfold the whole journey?

Yep.

Participant: And that if you have different desires and passions to the person who you think is your soulmate, then faith and trust in allowing the whole journey to unfold will then allow the journey to unfold. And it may not come from soul injuries; it may just be part of the whole process. Because I know with Graham and I still, I'm the creative part, the artistic part and Graham's the mathematician and more the engineer. There is creativity but it's a different kind of expression and I've had trouble with, for want of a better way of putting it, trying to match the desires. (00:45:55:00)

But as your part of your love grows, you'll eventually start understanding the engineering part of it and understanding the mathematical part of it because the only part that's blocking you to that is a heap of emotions from your childhood and from your school years and all of that. And then he will do the same because the only thing that's blocking him from the artistic side is a lot of those same kind of emotions in relationship to what happened to his childhood upbringing as well, and a degradation of emotions and so forth. And then you'll find that you'll merge together with all of those experiences. You'll become the engineer and he'll become the artist and you'll both be the artist and the engineer at the same time with a unique emotional signature that not another person in the universe actually has. (00:46:43:00)

Participant: I can't help but feel gratitude.

Yeah, it's beautiful!

Participant: I'm full up here.

Yeah, it's good, isn't it? To put it mildly.

19.6. Prioritising God over our soulmate (continued)

Participant: I just want to ask something about what you said before. My partner and I have experienced that when we've been apart, we're very connected to God; very God focused, and have a very strong connection to God. When we come together, we become very focused on each other so the God part falls apart, and we're very conscious of that now. So we're totally always focusing on God first, God first, God first. I know now everything just falls into place beautifully once we prioritise God. I just want to ask how you to do that. (00:47:41:00)

We have the same issue. See, most people would say, "Let's go and separate then because we're not getting closer to God." What my feelings and Mary's are, "Let's work out why we're involved in this rather than involved in this and this. Let's go through the emotions of why we connect to each other in this regard and step away from God when we're together," and there's usually a lot of emotional reasons for that, that each of us needs to address. In my case there's a lot of pleasing Mary emotions that I have to address; in Mary's case there were feelings like God doesn't want her, God can't remember her; those kind of feelings that she needs to address. There are different emotions for each of us that cause us to go away from that connection. The key is to deal with those emotions, let yourself feel your way through. (00:48:36:00)

Mary: Yeah, and sometimes we've gotten caught up in resolving the emotions that are between us and forgetting to just pray about it all, and we just remind each other all the time.

Participant: Can I just ask one more thing? Is it possible to reach the twenty second sphere state on Earth?

Yes.

Mary: In theory.

That's hopefully what we'll be able to demonstrate to you; that's why we came.

19.6.1. Emotional injuries prevent a deep soulmate connection

Participant: Cool. You know just the experience that I was talking about yesterday, in session one of "The Human Soul - The Soulmate Relationship" (Chapter 3.5.3), where I had an overwhelmingly intense emotional experience with my partner? If Monique starts having the same experience and we start coming together in that regard...?

That will trigger lots of different emotions in you certainly, because remember how when you came together a little bit you started feeling, "Whoa, this is a bit much for me!" and starting to want to back away? So that's in both of you and you need to allow yourself to feel that. (00:49:24:00)

Mary: You know before I was talking about the longing and what kind of space that is? With the longing for God, I feel you can have injury and develop the longing. When you develop your longing for God, then that really triggers all the emotions that are in the way. The same thing with your soulmate - if you develop that really raw vulnerable longing, it's going to trigger everything that's in the way. Obviously we're not in the twenty first sphere now, but we can still develop the longing to a point that sort of pulls us up.

For us it is a process where everything that we remember we have to grieve, because most of it is about loss. Everything we go through we generally have to grieve. We have to be prepared to do a lot of grieving and that is sometimes a difficult path. At the moment I'm not very prepared to grieve much about myself and Mary's not prepared to grieve much about a number of things and so that prevents the connection from actually occurring. When I'm prepared to grieve and she's prepared to grieve, things get back on track again and we start progressing towards God and towards each other again. (00:50:39:00)

For many of you it will be different emotions; shame, anger, grief, rage. These different emotions are all preventing the connection with your soulmate, but when you think about it they are also preventing your connection with God, so of course having to deal with them with your soulmate is going to help you a lot with dealing with them with God.

Obviously if I put God first, then I know I'm always going to progress, no matter what my soulmate does. So if my soulmate stops progressing, I'm going to keep progressing. If she has the same view as that, then obviously there'll be this thing going on where she'll progress a bit and then I'll feel a bit stagnant, but because she has progressed it makes it easier for me to progress. And then I'll progress a bit more and so forth and you end up in this sort of moving up like that; one helping the other back towards God. (00:50:31:00)

If you take God out of the equation, which by the way many, many billions of people do and millions and billions of souls in the spirit world do, then you'll get to a point in the sixth sphere where you just can't progress any further. You have a soul connection with your soulmate, but you won't have soul union with your soulmate, which is a totally different experience. Imagine the emotions at the sixth sphere compared to the seventh sphere. The seventh sphere is like a thousand times more powerful emotions than the sixth sphere. So if you can just imagine what it's like then being in the eighth, ninth or tenth sphere in terms of the emotions and what you can create, it starts to really blow your mind. Of course mentally and intellectually we can't conceive of it, and when you read the Padgett Messages, sometimes Padgett asks, "What's it like there?" and they'll say to him, "Look, there's no way that you can actually conceive of what it's really like here with your intellectual mind." They just feel that and there's no way you can until you personally experience it emotionally. (00:52:36:00)

19.6.2. Having faith and trust in God accelerates our progress

Now Jen brought out a good point that I'd just like to highlight, and that's if you have faith and trust in God, it is the simplest way to speed up your progress, because do you know what our biggest problem is? We want everything to be intellectually validated to us before we allow the experience. And if you're one of those people who want everything intellectually validated before you allow an experience, that's going to be the slowest possible progress that you can make. So my suggestion would be to have a look at that emotion in yourself and try to deal with that, look at what it is about and you'll get down to some feelings of where you've been hurt in the past and can't trust anymore and all those kind of things. Let yourself work your way through them.

Often people hear all these things presented from myself and Mary and they feel, "Ah they're just describing a utopian universe." Yes of course we are, that's what God created. God created the utopian universe, man creates the other. God created the utopian universe and we are trying to describe to you what it's like. (00:53:41:00)

20. AJ and Mary describe their emotional experiences as soulmates

Do you want to just describe what has happened between us? Where shall we start?

Mary: Sure. Well what do you want to illustrate? Just how the emotions have affected different things?

Yeah, how the emotions affected desire, how they affected your own feelings towards myself and my feelings towards you, and how once we released certain emotions, things changed quite rapidly and all that kind of stuff. So shall we start when we first met? Let's do that. Do you want to describe it from your perspective? (00:54:37:00)

20.1. When AJ and Mary first met

Mary: Well, before I met you I knew I was going to meet this guy that my parents were quite into at the time, who was teaching the spiritual path and believed he was Jesus. I kind of had this image in my head of a middle aged guy with a beard, a bit of a pot belly and someone who fancied himself a fair bit. (Laughter) And then I met AJ and I was like, "Wow, he's kind of good looking, not what I expected." (Laughter) We didn't have any long exchange because I was quite wrapped up in lots of other emotions, but I was quite interested in the path he was teaching. I tried to ask him a few questions and he just sort of gave me yes or no answers. "So what do you think about this Course in Miracles stuff? Because I really feel like this and I feel it's right out of line." and he'd say, "Yep." (Laughter)

That's true, I did do that. It's very unlike me, isn't it? But anyway. (Laughter)

Mary: And anyway, skip forward a bit and my parents told me that AJ felt that I was his soulmate and that really affected me.

What did you say?

Mary: It's embarrassing. They sat me down and said they had something important to tell me and I had absolutely no idea what it was going to be. They sat me down and went, "Well, you know that guy AJ," and I went "Yep," "Well he believes that you're his soulmate." And I went, "Oh I knew that." That was the first thing out of my mouth and then I went, "No I didn't know that at all. That's really weird. He didn't talk to me." So I was really shocked by the words out of my mouth, but I completely dismissed them because they didn't make any sense. (00:55:57:00)

Mary sort of felt like I never talked to her, which is very true. I didn't talk to her very much at all. I was so overwhelmed emotionally because it was as I described, walking past somebody that you're now open to emotionally and I just felt, "Wow, this girl is my soulmate, what do I do with that?" I'd been looking for her for such a long time and there were lots of emotions in me. I felt quite teary, and I didn't know what to do. I was just about to talk to a group, I think Helga and Klaus were there at that group and Peter and Clare I think were there and I didn't know what to do. It was like, "What do I do?"

20.1.1. Mary and AJ's initial emotional reactions to each other

And she comes up and talks to me before the group starts, and now I don't know what to do, and she has these questions. And of course I didn't have much to say about them because I just didn't know what to say. What do you say? "Yeah, actually, you're my soulmate and now that I think about it, boy I've got a really big attraction to you." It's very confronting. I was extra-sensitive to Mary's emotional condition, so I could feel her hurt from the breakup of her previous relationship, I could feel how uncertain she was feeling about her life and I felt that if I said something to her; it would basically just put more pressure on her. That's the way I was feeling. (00:58:30:00)

Mary: Yeah, obviously I didn't have the same magnetic thing happen that AJ had towards me, but when my parents told me, I couldn't let it go then and I didn't understand. I'd never seen a DVD (they didn't exist back then) and I'd only heard him talk for a couple of hours. I had a job in Lebanon and I'd just broken up with someone, and all kinds of other things were happening in my life, but I couldn't let it go. I couldn't understand why, I didn't even know half the stuff about the Divine Love Path. I was just really shocked and then I got quite indignant, "this guy has told other people and he hasn't told me and I'm going to find out about that.' So I sent you an email.

There was a fair bit in-between those two places though, because we actually caught up at Helga and Klaus' and did another talk, or I did anyway, and I arrive at this talk thinking that Mary wouldn't be there because I could feel that Mary was a bit angry with me by this stage.

Mary: No I wasn't by then, but at the talk you started talking about something...

Oh yes that's right, yeah. Your father was questioning me by this stage, wasn't he?

Mary: Yeah. I hadn't decided if God existed or not in my life at this point, but AJ was talking about the closing of the heavens and I thought, "Hang on, this guy's talking about an unloving God." Suddenly I had all of these really strong opinions like, "That is not right and why is he saying he's Jesus? If he was Jesus, he wouldn't be saying he's Jesus," and all of this emotion came out and I got really quite angry. Graham would remember and Helga would remember. I wasn't saying very much but obviously the emotion coming from me was quite huge. (01:00:31:00)

And the emotion in me was a fear of my soulmate's anger. So there I am sitting down trying to talk about things and my soulmate is projecting anger at me and I'm just trying to avoid going into meltdown. And these little children were coming up and sitting on my lap and distracting me through the whole process of course; children are great like that. I was just in this inner turmoil.

Mary: This is before I knew about the soulmate thing and of course I had no idea about the impact I was having on AJ because I thought he didn't even know who I was. And when we left that meeting I had such a weird emotional experience. I was with my parents, and I was like, "I don't know what's going on with me, I need chocolate!" I was very, "I don't understand!" (Laughter) (01:01:27:00)

So then a few weeks later I did the first talk at Peter's place at Eudlo. I could feel that Mary was thinking of coming. I don't know if you've been to Peter's place and walked around the gardens a bit, but down by his office you can walk down the stairs and there's this little tiny private place down there which I went down into, and I just sat there shaking, not because I was afraid of talking in front of a hundred people, but because I was worried about Mary rocking up (laughter) and knowing by this stage that she felt a little angry from the previous experience. I didn't know how I was going to cope with that. Then I realised that she wasn't coming and it was almost a relief to not have Mary come. So after that I went overseas, and I didn't see her before I left to go overseas, but I could feel, "Wow, she's really angry with me."

Mary: I could not understand why I was angry and I wouldn't have even said I was angry. I just felt there was no reason for me to be. My parents have been on a spiritual path for thirty years, I've met a lot of people who believe a lot of unusual things and have unusual lifestyles and none of that ever made me angry - I just went, "Oh, that's what they're into," or whatever, but for some reason I was really very emotional, and that was really strange for me. And when I found out what AJ felt about me, I felt really freaked out as well. "I don't understand all these emotions and it's very scary for me." (01:03:13:00)

Yeah. The first time I met Mary, Cornelius was with me. We had stayed overnight at Mary's parents' place and as we drove away the next day Cornelius said to me, "You think she's your soulmate, don't you?" and I said to him, "Cornie if she's not my soulmate, I've got another ten years of emotional processing to do," (laughter) because I was getting pretty overwhelmed just being in the same house with her. But that all being said, Corny spent most of the time talking to Mary and I spent hardly any time talking to Mary, I was just so nervous. I didn't know what to do really, and I had a lot of emotions to work through as result of that; a lot of emotions of feeling unworthy, a lot of emotions about feeling my soulmate's blocked to me and feeling a lot of grief about that.

20.2. When AJ and Mary met up in England

And so I started allowing myself to work through those emotions and I then went overseas and just kept working through those emotions. Then Mary sent me that email that I told you about earlier, where she demanded why I hadn't spoken to her about this supposed soul connection that we were meant to have had and that's when I sent back a very long letter. I decided at that point, "Well no, I need to be open, I need to be honest," and this is why I'm encouraging you to do the same, to be open and honest and just let the chips fall where they may and allow yourself to experience the emotion of that. Just allow that to occur. (01:04:43:00)

So over the following month we entered into conversations and eventually they became conversations every day and then Mary decided that she wanted to investigate whether I'm her soulmate or not.

Mary: Very pragmatic about it all, wasn't I?

Mary's very practical, and so she decides, "No, I'm just going to sort it out. I need to get over to where you are at the moment," and by this time I was in England. Before then I was in Barbados and Mary was in Australia and we decided, "No let's meet up when we're in England." So Mary flew over and met up with me in England. I picked her up from Heathrow airport and we decided that the best thing to do was to hire a two bedroom place and we'd just spend a week together and see what happened and see what comes up. Four days into that week, Mary has her first big emotional experience.

Mary: Yep. I really thought that I kind of had my life together; I was pretty arrogant. I thought I'd lived overseas, I've dabbled in spirituality, I kind of feel like I'm finally getting close to thirty and I feel like I finally know myself and... how ridiculous. And so I go to meet AJ and I have no concept really of what emotional processing is; I think I know what it's all about but I really have no idea, and four days in, I have this overwhelming emotional experience of grief and loss and abandonment that is inexplicable, and it relates specifically to him. That's what happened. (01:06:43:00)

And there was quite a lot of anger towards me that you couldn't understand because you'd never been an angry person most of your life, right? There was quite a lot of anger coming at me, "You left me!" yelling at me about what I had done to her in the past, and it's really hard to explain, and then Mary went into this really big shut down towards me. "I can't even look at you; I can't even look at you." So I went off for a walk out in the sheep farms (we were at Oxford in England).

Mary: It was a terrifying experience. I don't know if that's relevant to other people.

Yeah, but many of you are going to be terrified with some of the things that come up between yourself and your soulmate and the key, I feel, is to stay in the transaction. You see, often when things come up that are terrifying we don't want to stay in the transaction. We want to get away from the transaction, we want to leave it, we want to avoid it, and we want to avoid our emotion of it. And my feelings are, the more we have stayed in the transaction, no matter how long the transaction has been (and sometimes it's been months before we've come out of one particular emotion together), the better both of us finish up working our way through our emotions. (01:08:15:00)

So then Mary had a number of these experiences, which of course I was sort of expecting, but I didn't expect that she'd be angry with me. I thought, you know, "Soulmate meets soulmate, it's all going to be lovey-dovey, everything's fine right?" (Laughter) No, that didn't happen at all. Instead a lot of the stuff of me leaving and me dying in the first century and all this kind of stuff started coming up and it shocked Mary intensely because she wasn't expecting that.

Mary: Before this point, I was actually feeling quite romantically attracted to AJ, quite desirous of him. And as soon as I hit these big emotions - nothing. Nothing. By the end of the trip I just felt no physical or emotional attraction to him at all.

So by the end of the trip, we're coming home and I can feel my soulmate is totally blocked to me, but I can feel the reasons why, all the fear and terror that's in her. I could feel all this fear and terror in Mary, but her shutting them down really harshly, and really harshly shutting herself down too. (01:09:34:00)

Mary: Because also, by this stage, there was a lot of projection coming from my family and that really affected me because I was really hooked into their emotions. That shut me down a lot. There was a lot of disapproval coming towards me and I felt that that also made the emotions towards AJ wrong emotionally.

20.3. When AJ and Mary returned to Australia from overseas

I wanted to stay in this transaction and work our way through it but Mary just said, "No, that's it, there's no attraction between me and you and we've just got to go our separate ways." And so we came home and at the airport Mary's parents picked her up and whisked her away, literally, and I went home with my son Tristan. And I just spent the next four or five days crying about it. Mary, you sort of spent the next week really in turmoil, didn't you? Total turmoil about it all.

And then Mary decided to invite me over to talk about it on the weekend and I went over to talk about it, but I finished up just getting attacked by the family instead of really talking about our issue together, and after I came away from that I realised that things were actually going to get a lot worse with the family and that there was a high likelihood that we wouldn't be together. For me that just triggered lots and lots of stuff and so for nearly the next three months I cancelled all of the talks, as many of you around that time know, and I just focused on my emotions about dealing with that and stayed in my emotions. And as I said, I got to some really deep emotions about how I viewed myself, how I viewed myself in comparison to my soulmate and all these other emotions, and once I got out of that I knew within a few days Mary would probably call me. But Mary, through that time, went through lots of different things too. (01:11:47:00)

Mary: Oh yeah, that was really dark for me, because I didn't know how to process emotion and I was in terror, self attack, and total fear. It's hard for me to have a soulmate desire because of the whole bigger picture of identity. I felt like my whole life was falling apart. I didn't have any direction and there was a lot of pressure around me to shut down emotionally.

And I think you processed some of the anger or rage you felt one weekend, and that caused you to give me a call the following weekend or something? Is that what happened?

Mary: No I actually decided I wouldn't. I tried to stay on the Divine Love Path because obviously I felt there was a truth and so I tried to stay connected with my emotions but there was just so much inside of me that I was resisting, I couldn't do it and I did connect to a little bit of anger but then I just felt so despondent and I said, "That's it, I'm not doing it, I'm not on the Divine Love Path, I'm not even going to pretend anymore." And actually after two weeks of that I became quite suicidal. I felt that I didn't know what I could do and that's when I called you. (01:13:11:00)

That's right. And so we talked again and I just said to Mary, "Look, you don't have to be with me but I'd love to be able to help you connect with your emotions and stay on the path if that's what you want. But you need to decide what you want basically; I'm happy to support whatever that is." And so we finished up talking a bit then on the phone about your emotions and I think within a day you connected to some big emotions about God that helped a lot. And then Mary started to come along to the groups a bit, still very tentative, weren't you? Still quite mistrusting of myself but she tended to come along, feeling the judgement now of some in the audience towards her because some now knew that I felt Mary was my soulmate and so forth, and feeling quite bad about that at times.

20.4. Mary and AJ's relationship depended on the emotions they were working through

Can you see how, as things are going, I'm working through emotions, she's working through emotions, we're both working through different emotions and our relationship, in terms of coming apart and coming together, was dependent on how much we were shutting down our emotions and then reopening our emotions and then shutting down our emotions again. It's like a pattern. There was another time where Mary decided, "No that's it," and we separated again for a period of time. She told me again that she had no attraction for me whatsoever. (01:14:49:00)

Mary: That's a really powerful thing that I learned; how much fear can affect desire. When I went into places of deep fear, I lost all attraction to AJ because his life, his identity was the trigger for my fear.

So it was fine from Mary's perspective while I was just AJ. She could handle that and we could have a relationship on that basis, but as soon as any Jesus stuff came into play, then basically Mary went into this place of really being terrified. And she tried to shut me down and then I had to say, "No, hang on a second; I can't be shut down on this issue. I told you at the start who I was," and so that created a lot of difficulty as well. Trust me, telling someone that you're Jesus is not the best way to find your soulmate, it never worked very well for me in the first century and it didn't work very well this century either. So anybody who says that I have an emotional investment in being Jesus so that I can attract Mary has no understanding whatsoever of what's actually happened between us. (01:16:03:00)

20.4.1. Truth is essential for the soulmate relationship

Mary: I find it hard to give an example of this stuff, because I feel like our experience is somehow different.

Yeah, what I'm trying to illustrate though is more how whenever myself or you got into a shutdown state towards the other that automatically caused us to go apart. This is a big thing to understand with your soulmate relationship - whenever we weren't in truth with each other, no matter what that truth was (for example if that truth was that I was attracted to twenty five other women or something), if that truth wasn't said, there was an automatic pulling apart between the two halves. And as soon as we started speaking the truth, no matter how bad it was, there was an automatic drawing together again. And this is an interesting thing about the soulmate union; it is totally dependent upon truth. All of the lessons you learn about truth are so important for your soulmate union. (01:17:18:00)

So what happened between us then was that we started realising how important truth was, no matter what, and as long as we stayed in truth and stayed open to our emotions, things would progress really well. But of course there were pretty difficult emotions to deal with still; I had difficult emotions to work my way through and sometimes when I was working my way through an emotion, Mary would start feeling responsible, which would actually make it worse in terms of dealing with my emotion. And then I'd talk to her about that and then she'd feel bad about that and then there was this constant to-ing and fro-ing going on emotionally. The key for us has been to stay in the transaction. We've attracted this relationship, stay in the transaction.

Mary: And I think living in the truth of the emotions as they happen. We have gone apart for even a day or two when we've felt this is not working, instead of sticking in, sticking in or skipping over or making the best of it, such as sleeping in the same bed when you're actually going through a lot of grief and anger with the other person. Actually physically being in the truth of whatever is happening really helped. (01:18:35:00)

So if I feel blocked towards Mary in any way I can't sleep with her, and Mary now feels the same way, and so we automatically part. Fortunately where we are we've got a tent down one side of the block and a tent somewhere else, and so we just sleep in separate places. We come back together again in the morning or during the day and we start talking about the same issue again and if we can't deal with it that day then we sleep apart again. And the same goes the next day and the next day and the next day and sometimes we've slept apart for up to a week or two weeks at a time doing that, dealing with the emotion but sleeping apart. It's happening more rarely now, but there are still occasions where I feel that Mary has got some grief to feel about me and if I'm with her she doesn't allow herself to feel it, so I withdraw out of that. And there are times when I've encouraged Mary to go away completely for as long as she wants to deal with some issues. So any person who says that I've somehow got my claws into Mary, as Mary is well aware, that is not the case because it's just so untrue. (01:19:50:00)

The issue is to allow each other to deal with your emotions, allow each other to state the truth to each other, no matter how bad it sounds and no matter how bad you feel as a result of it, because it is a part of your Law of Attraction. So allow that interaction to occur.

Mary: I was just going to say that that's been really powerful for me. In the beginning I really wanted to skip over a lot of emotions until I realised, "They're not going to go away; they're not going to be out of the relationship until I actually speak it and say it and we deal with the emotions that it brings up."

20.5. Dealing with anger towards the man in the relationship in loving way

Participant: I just wanted to ask, dealing with a lot of anger towards men after not realising I had anger towards men until coming into the relationship, and at first projecting a lot, caused a lot of shut down and a lot of negativity in the relationship. It's only been after yesterday's talk "The Human Soul \- The Soulmate Relationship" where we talked talking about the rage, that I saw how I've blamed Alex for everything he's done. I've blamed him instead of looking at myself and my not wanting to own my anger and get into the grief fully, and I've seen that I haven't been able to love. I've just realised I haven't been able to love him or anyone in my life and just last night I was seeing him as not my father, which sounds funny after so long, and seeing him not as God because my father was God to me. So he's not God and he's not my father; I just saw last night that he's just this beautiful soul. And love just came down from God and to Alex and we realised that soulmate love is from God, not from within ourselves. That was really beautiful. My question was around anger towards men, Mary; how to be in a loving space when processing anger towards men and be vulnerable when there's so much fear and there's so much grief in the process? You don't just get from the beginning of the rage to the love. There's a whole lot in between, and I see you being really loving to your soulmate and really encouraging and not projecting. How did you get from that place to...? (01:23:15:00)

Mary: I was talking to someone the other day and said I'm the example of what not to do. I still do it sometimes but I did have a big realisation recently about how much it's changed because when we first got together, with every emotion that was triggered in me there was huge rage going towards AJ. It was just through truth and owning it, removing myself physically from him to deal with it and acknowledging that I was so afraid. I was so afraid to be in a vulnerable space. All this stuff about him being better than me if he could see stuff in me, him controlling me... you're relating? Yep.

However, you also went through some emotions of blockages to your own emotion, because that was a big part of the change. Like, we would have a discussion, and once Mary started connecting emotionally to the discussion, her first emotion was always rage. So firstly she'd project a heap of anger about the discussion and then she'd get over that anger by going and doing some anger work or whatever. Then she'd get into her fear and would often stay in her fear, but sometimes then get into the grief, but the grief wasn't very frequent. But then we started looking at the whole process and it was actually about blockages, it was actually about the fears and her fear of her own emotions; that she wouldn't survive some of her own emotions. Once she started working her way through that group of emotions, of what she believed about her own emotions, then her projections at me changed markedly. (01:25:24:00)

Mary: Yeah, and I don't know how this happened but now I can feel, like I have a lot of stuff going on about my dad at the moment, but I realise that I'm not projecting that at AJ anymore. He's someone different to my dad now. But I think that's part of feeling our soulmate longing that's shifted as well; I'm not as afraid of my fear, and of my grief.

20.5.1. Anger caps deeper emotions

The only reason we get into rage anyway is that we're afraid of feeling a deeper emotion within ourselves. So start to focus on, "I'm allowed to feel my fear and I'm allowed to feel my grief." There was also this belief that entered Mary at some point; that you could cope with it. Because up until that point you would always say, "I just can't cope with it, I just can't cope with this. I can feel all this grief in me and I just can't cope with it." And because she felt that she couldn't cope with it, she was always getting into anger instead. But once she got through that and started to see that she herself could cope with this emotion that was inside of her, after that it changed quite a lot. (01:26:53:00)

Mary: I also just processed a block around feeling that I was never allowed to be angry with my dad and that was really powerful. Because it was okay to be angry with AJ if he was like my dad, but I realised I was so blocked at being able to feel that as little Mary, so that's really changed things.

So before then the men in Mary's family would project things at Mary and Mary wouldn't get angry with the men in her family in return, she'd just get angry with me.

Mary: Seriously, it was pretty bad.

It was like, every time her family got angry with me and with Mary, Mary would then get angry with me as well. So I had to work through some emotions about allowing that to continue, and I had to eventually say to Mary, "If you want to keep doing that, then we've got to go our separate ways because that's not loving to me." There had to be quite a bit of emotion I had to work through of allowing the woman to be angry with me all the time. So I worked through those groups of emotions and then Mary also worked through this emotion of not allowing herself to actually feel the rage towards the person who she really felt it towards, because she had felt disallowed from that in her childhood. (01:28:18:00)

So a lot of it was about getting rid of this feeling of, "I can't cope." Many of you are having this feeling, right? "I'm not going to be able to cope; I'm not going to be able to cope!" And so you go into this place of, "I can't cope, I can't cope," and that's what shuts you down. The truth is that if an emotion is coming up for you right now, God designed your soul to cope with it, whatever that emotion is. God designed your soul in such a manner that you can cope with whatever emotion is coming up from inside of you, that's how God designed your soul. But you have to get to a point inside of you where you trust that and that's an emotional place, it's not an intellectual place.

Mary: I also think that in the beginning I had so much rage at men. I had to be really honest about every situation, about what was going on. Because I couldn't process rage at men; that didn't get me anywhere. It was actually that I had a lot of blocks to feeling powerlessness, a lot of blocks to feeling the fear of vulnerability, or a lot of blocks to feeling less than a man. So now, when I think about it, I don't feel like I have any man anger. Sometimes I still get angry, but I feel like I've got these whole other bits of emotion that anger just seems to cap and I've spoken to quite a few women to whom it seems like that. Like, "I'm so angry at men," but as I got deeper, it was actually quite a specific bunch of emotions. (01:29:56:00)

A bunch of fears within yourself about your own self.

Participant: Can you go into some of those, Mary?

Mary: Feeling powerless around men, feeling that I'm less than men, feeling that a man is going to control me, grief about the way men have treated me, feeling like I'm responsible for the man's emotions, a lot of grief about feeling that men don't see me, men view me as a sexual object, that men have physically harmed me, that I've been violated, those kinds of feelings. And now I feel a lot closer to connecting to some of those feelings quite powerfully, but it took time to get there.

The rage or the anger is always covering over these more specific emotions, and the problem with rage or anger is that it's very similar to the emotion of unworthiness. We can use it as an excuse to avoid the deeper stuff. So when I say to you, "Oh, I feel unworthy," that helps me skip over all sorts of reasons why I'm unworthy. And if I say to you, "I'm just angry," that helps me skip over all the reasons why I'm angry. You've got to be willing to get into the reasons why and a lot of us aren't willing to get into the reasons why because all we want to do is be angry. Being angry is powerful, being angry means I can blame everybody else, being angry means I don't have to look at myself and I can get away with that because society generally also allows me to get away with that. So instead I just finish up saying, "Oh I'm angry!" "Don't bother me, I'm angry!" "And why are you angry?" "Don't ask me why I'm angry!" Because the truth is, I don't want to know why I'm angry either; I'd rather be projecting rage and stuff and blame at other people and I don't want to admit to myself that I want to do that. And in the end, once you get through that and you admit to yourself, "I do want to be angry, I do want to blame, I do want to project rage and anger, I don't want to release this emotion," then you start getting more honest about, "Alright, what emotion am I angry about, what is it that I'm angry about?" Then you're starting to deal with your fears of, "What am I angry about?" "I'm angry that I'll be controlled." It's a fear about being controlled in the end isn't it? "I'm angry that men have violated me"; that's a fear that you'll be violated in the future, if you open up your heart to a man, or the fear of the grief of being violated and so forth. (01:33:09:00)

20.5.2. Reaching the point of no longer accepting anger

Participant: I was just going to ask you, at what point did you realise it wasn't your Law of Attraction to cop that anger anymore?

Now that's an interesting question because when you're on the receiving end of anger or rage, quite often you think you have to put up with it and you go through lots and lots of emotions putting up with it like, "Why are they doing this to me? What have I done to them? I haven't done anything to them. Why are they hurting me?" You go through all of those kinds of emotions. And then after you've grieved a lot of those emotions, you realise actually, "Well I don't deserve this anger and I'm allowed to say that and allowed to draw a line in the sand and say that's enough." And when you get to that point, that's when you've healed a lot of the reasons why you've allowed somebody's anger.

Up until that point you allow it and then feel the resulting emotions and the key is to just allow yourself to process those emotions and you'll get to the point where you no longer allow it. When you get to that point, you don't even have to be angry in return. I just said to Mary, "Let's sit down; next time you're angry with me, you're out of here. I'm not putting up with that any more. It doesn't matter whether you're my soulmate or not. I am not your dad, I am not these abusers from the first century and you're treating me like I am, I am not these people who harmed you. I'm a man who loves you and cares about you, but I do not deserve this treatment anymore." And once I got to that point inside of myself, Mary also felt the firmness of that. Before then I was pretty wishy washy about that; I'd say that, but put up with it again and say it again and put up with it again. I got to the point where inside of myself there was this, "No, I'm not doing that," and I felt a lot of hurt about having to get to that point too. (01:36:00:00)

Mary: And it didn't actually stop me being angry. I still had to work through the emotions of anger.

Yeah, but I put to Mary that she needed to make a choice of what she was going to do from now on about this anger that she had. If she was going to project it at me, then she needed to leave. She could do anything else she wanted to do with her anger, but if she wanted to project it at me then she had to go.

So at that point she decided to go over to Milly's for a week and work through a lot of things, about why she was feeling so angry, owning her own process. Before then, Mary was not really owning her own emotional processing, and was sort of almost expecting me to drive her emotional process. So I just said that to her. "No I'm not responsible for your emotional process; you're responsible for driving that. If you don't want to do it, then stop getting angry with me about it and just say to me you don't want to do it and that's it." When Mary worked through whether she wanted to do it and wanted to do it for herself, then her anger projections changed quite a lot as well. (01:36:12:00)

Mary: I had huge feelings of resentment of the inevitability of our life, such as, "This is my soulmate and I can't choose, and I've got all this stuff in me now and it's got to come out and I don't remember choosing this."

And there were also feelings of inevitability if you did deal with it, "He will die anyway and what's the point?" There were a lot of her first century emotions of my going to die anyway, so what was the point of her dealing with the emotion and opening up her heart to me when I'm going to die again anyway? Then she'd have to go through all that grief after having opened up her heart to me. There was a lot of that emotion going through her as well at the same time. But I think the key shift was the shift that all of us need to make, which is, "Am I going to be fully responsible for my own emotions? Do I really, really want to be an emotional being? Do I really, really want to be connected to God myself, not because of anybody else? But because this is in me, I want this for me." And once you get into that state, you become a lot less resistive to having truth pointed out to you.

21. Audience questions

21.1. As one half of the soul progresses it draws the other half to it

Participant: AJ, I just wanted to ask you a question on behalf of a group of spirits who've been here since yesterday. It was just going back to a point that you touched on yesterday, that if you don't come together with your soulmate by the eighth sphere or something it had a huge ramification on your own progress? Does that ring a bell? Because they're a bit anxious that some of them had met their soulmate and they'd rejected them or vice versa and they were now getting quite anxious about what would happen. (01:38:16:00)

The only thing you can't do is make the transition between the twenty first and the twenty second sphere. Up until that point you can progress as much as you want by yourself. However I must say you will still have to heal the soulmate part of yourself before you make the transition into at-onement with God. You will then have many truths about the soulmate part of yourself that you will learn between the transition into at-onement with God and at-one with your soulmate. Now by the time your soul gets into that powerful state, it's highly unlikely, and to be frank I've never seen it occur in my lifetime of two thousand years, where one soul in a lower state hasn't been attracted to the soul in that higher state.

Mary: There's obviously a Law of Attraction between the soulmate halves and the more one progresses, the greater the pull is on the other one in the lower condition.

The pull on the soulmate half that is in the lower love condition is so intense that it's impossible to resist in the end. So as the other half of the soul progresses towards God, it's impossible for their soulmate to actually avoid progression.

21.1.1. An example of a spirit couple called Joseph and Miriam

Participant: Is it a case more of time then? For example in the case of Joseph and Miriam it's inevitable but it may just take a very, very long time?

Yes. Like in the case of Joseph and Miriam, who, by the way, are a couple that we've talked to that Monica has channelled. It was two thousand years between when Joseph entered the Celestial spheres and Miriam is now looking like entering into the Celestial spheres. Miriam had a lot of emotions towards Mary, a lot of rage and anger towards Mary and myself. She was hooked into herself being my soulmate, and she wouldn't let go of the fact that I wasn't her soulmate. She really felt a lot of rage from two thousand years ago towards Mary and that Mary was not worthy to be my soulmate. So because she had all of those emotions and she wasn't allowing herself to deal with those emotions, she was holding herself in this position. No matter what Joseph could say to her, she wasn't allowing herself to get out of that condition. And that required a Law of Attraction event, which was eventually our talking through you to her again, that actually triggered her out of that condition. But sooner or later every single person will draw their soulmate no matter what.

Now as soon as Miriam got out of the resistance to her own emotion, she felt an attraction to Joseph and this is the thing: as soon as we can help our soulmates to get out of their resistance to emotion they will automatically feel an attraction to us anyway. But how long that takes is going to be very dependent upon the will of that part of the soul and how they exercise that will, and in Miriam's case it took two thousand years for her to exercise her will to feel those emotions.

Now when I say it took two thousand years, she was obviously ready by the time we had the conversation to very, very quickly change. Over those two thousand years of time on Earth, she had obviously released quite a lot of that emotional baggage that got triggered in the first century, and she was in a place of readiness to start looking at her emotions in a serious manner.

Participant: So for the spirits who are feeling anxious that their soulmate has either rejected them or they've rejected their soulmate, if they just focus on their connection with God the rest will all follow naturally?

Yes, and also God is always working towards opening up every single one of his children, including your own soulmate. God has always got lots of things in play. Part of the opening up of Miriam that was in play was our return to Earth, and in fact Cornelius has experienced very much the same thing. There are a lot of people Cornelius harmed in the first century who have been in the hells for two thousand years, and his own return to Earth has actually helped them all move forward. Many of these ones who have been harmed by him are now moving forward on the Divine Love Path because of this opportunity that afforded us to help these ones. (01:42:55:00)

So the beauty of a lot of what God's plans are is that eventually everything comes to helping each person. God is intensely interested in the welfare of every individual and intensely interested in having you experience as much bliss as you can possibly experience. And because of that intense interest, He is also intensely interested in helping your soulmate open up at the soul level too. And there are many, many spirits by the way, in the spirit world, who are trying to assist your soulmates to open up as much as what you feel you are.

21.2. It's better to stay in the emotional truth of a situation before acting

21.2.1. An example of a lady whose partner had relationships with other women

Participant: After watching The Divine Truth DVD a couple of weeks ago, my partner shared with me that he'd gone through a period of having relationships with other women after we'd been in a pretty close relationship for ten years. The glue started to come apart and there are many parts to that. We'd become involved with another guru-type teacher who had heavily influenced our ideas about commitment and sexuality and that had affected me and eventually it really affected him as well, and we are both in a state of not being sure whether we are soulmates or not. I've been inclined to think not because I've become so aware of how heavy the co-dependence is in the relationship, particularly my part of it. And so initially, when it happened, I was actually foolishly very pleased to be told and then it started to sink in and my first reaction was that I kind of numbed it out, I went into shock and then I started to numb it out. Very fortunately I sent an email and Mary answered me so crystal clear in a very, very short one page email that I printed it off and colour-highlighted it. And then I sat down and started to use that to process and there's just one sentence in it and it was that all my life I had depreciated my worth and my loving value by overlooking the things that had happened in my marriage and with my current partner and with my father, and in fact with many men in my life. And it just took so long for that to get through the shell, I would sit down with it for hours at a time and just read it and try to get it to go in a bit further because I realised I had become so incredibly practiced at not noticing that I did that. And then I started to realise also that I'd done that with some women in my life as well. So where I'm at, at the moment, it's very hard in all of this to be really clear once you become very emotional or very upset, what the appropriate action is to do in this. (01:54:56:00)

My suggestion to you, Suzanne, is to not take action, yet. The reason I say that is that when we are in an emotional state, our highest priority is to complete the emotion rather than taking action upon the emotion. We are far better off completing the emotion first. Now the emotions that you are starting to feel are emotions of deep hurt in the way that men have treated you and even how you've treated yourself in relationship to the man, and the key is to allow yourself to fully experience those emotions inside of yourself, first, before you take any actions, because any actions you take at this point will be very much influenced by any emotional error that's still there within you.

And also you're in this situation now where truth has been told to you and it's really great that you've been told the truth; that's a wonderful thing for both of you that that's happened. The difficult part now is feeling your way emotionally through this truth. The key is to allow yourself to feel your emotional way through this truth rather than numbing yourself out of the truth, and there is going to be some grief there. There's going to be some grief related to all sorts of issues in terms of how you've personally been treated, how you've ignored certain things, how you enabled certain things to happen because of your hook into men and to getting men's approval, and all of these kinds of emotions will start coming up and flowing out of you. The key is to allow them all to come and flow and this is the reason for Mary's email to you; she wanted to help you do that. She could feel that you were numbing out to it and she wanted to say to you "Don't numb out of this, Suzanne, because this is a really good chance to grow from these experiences."

When you get to the other end of that and feel a lot of those emotions that are listed, then you'll know exactly what to do inside of yourself and when you know exactly what to do inside of yourself that's when to act. (01:57:05:00)

Participant: Right, that's very helpful, thank you.

So don't try to act at any point in time until you feel you must act. Whenever you ask somebody else, "What should I do?" you're really not feeling for yourself when you must act. So if I'm asking Mary, "What do I do?" I'm really wanting her to tell me what to do because I still haven't worked out how to act. What I need to do is feel what I'm feeling first, work my way through that, and then I won't feel like asking Mary what to do, because I will actually know what I should do right now. And right now is different to a week's time, by the way. So right now you might go, "I know what I've got to do, and I've got to leave right now." And you leave and you go to a motel room and for a week you cry and then you realise, '"Right, now I've got to be back home," and so you go back home and you stay there.

Understand also that no decision has to be a permanent decision. You have complete free will, which also gives you the free will to change your mind at any point in time; you're allowed to do that. So if you feel you must act right now and leave something, act right now and leave it. But if in a week's time you feel you made a mistake, go and say to the person that you made a mistake, and act in a different way.

Mary: I think you're saying that there's a difference between figuring it all out and having an action plan, and actually just living in the truth of whatever is emotionally happening right now.

Yeah, and understand that as you're processing the emotions, your actions will be very, very different. You'll process through one emotion that you allowed certain things to happen and then you'll feel, "Oh boy I'm partly guilty about all of this, you know, suggesting that I was okay with it when I wasn't," and all of these kinds of things and then you'll realise you might go through some anger with the guru, "How dare he do that and tell me that?" (01:59:09:00)

You'll feel the anger with that and then you'll go into the sadness of, "Ah no, look at how easily led I was by this man telling me all these things. Like, in the end I didn't feel it was right." And you'll cry about that and then afterwards you come out of a lot of those type of emotions. The key is to allow yourself to feel them, go through the feelings of them. When you come out of those emotions, you will know specifically for yourself how you want to act. And then act. Don't put that off because of fear of security or fear of something else, just act and everything will happen fine if you can do that.

Sometimes Mary and I have been in an interaction, where I've thought, "No, I've just got to leave now. I'm sorry, I've just got to leave," and off I trot out the door. Mary's crying and saying, "Please stay," or whatever and I say, "No, got to leave." Then bang and off I go and I'm down in the tent, which is about 500 yards away from the house, and I'm down in the tent and I'm processing and crying. I'm usually crying as I'm walking my way down there, and then crying down in the tent and I might be there for a day and then I come back up and I want to talk about it with Mary. (02:00:22:00)

Every single moment you can act differently, and if you're both still open to each other, you can do that together. If you're not both still open to each other, then you'll probably have to do that separately. But the issue is, I feel, understand that when you're in an emotional state it's not always the best time to act. The best time to act is when you're in clarity. Now you can be in an emotional state and in clarity at the same time, but sometimes we're in an emotion about my father, not about this man that I'm living with, and if I'm acting towards this man I'm living with as if he's my father, then that's obviously not clarity any more.

For example if Mary's saying to me, "You did this, you did that," and I'm going, "When did I do that? I can see what you're saying, your father did that but I never did that." That's not a moment of clarity for Mary to make a decision on that. Now she's totally able to make a decision on that if she wants and often if she does she might go off on that tangent and then, because she's taken the emotion to the finish, realise, "Wow that was really about my father," and then come back and talk to me about that.

So a lot of the times it doesn't really matter how it's handled, as long as you stay in the emotional connection and stay in the transaction of it and allow yourself to feel your way through it and keep the emotions flowing; in the end you will know what to do. You'll know the truth of what to do and you're allowed to make a mistake. You're even allowed to make a mistake with your soulmate. You're allowed to make a mistake with God too; you're allowed to. I've made plenty of mistakes, you're going to make plenty of mistakes on this Path too, and you're allowed to. One of the things is that God loves you through all of your mistakes as well and you're allowed to do that. So just allow the emotions to continue flowing. The reason Mary gave you the email was that she was concerned about the numbness; when you go into that state that's not helpful at all.

21.2.2. Working through numbness into deeper emotions

Participant: No, and I was completely and utterly numb. There are just one or two other things that I wanted to run past you. When I came here yesterday, the last thing in the world I expected was for the talk to be about soulmates. So it was really profoundly appropriate and yesterday during the talk I developed a huge migraine and was incredibly nauseated. When I got home last night I was very, very distressed and one of the problems I'm having with processing, which I've shared before, is a real difficulty in crying. I can't cry, so it's like I get to the cusp of an emotion and I just sit, like, on an agony edge and I can't tip. So I went to bed last night and I slept and I still felt sick this morning. But while getting motivated to come back, I actually felt a lot better and during the day I actually started to feel really, really good. I'd like to know does that mean that I've actually processed something and I'm feeling better or have I just skimmed away from it? (02:03:34:00)

There are some truths that you've accepted in the process over the last two days, but you still have the issue with crying about these truths. Whenever you receive a truth, you will feel better and not all truths need to have an emotional response for you to receive it. There'll be an emotional response of joy when you receive it and not grief for many truths, but with regard to your migraine was the heavy suppression of sadness. That's what caused your migraine. So there's a heavy desire in you to suppress your grief. What I would look at in myself in those situations is, "Why am I afraid of my grief?" Rather than trying to get to my grief, I would look at, "Why am I so afraid of this grief? What emotions in me cause me to fear this grief that I know is there so much that I'm willing to shut it down?" What I call that is "identifying your blockage to your grief," and you do need to feel your blockages.

One of the blockages is, "What's going to happen if I grieve this? Will I still be connected to my partner?" That's a blockage, because what happens if you grieve it and you realise, "Hey I'm not really connected to my partner now." What will happen then? (02:04:58:00)

Participant: Yeah, I've written pages in the meantime and I've identified a lot to do with security, to do with so many things. One of them is just the separation from my best friend, because in the past that's where I've gone.

Yes, that's always been your partner.

22. Closing Words

Anyway it's getting pretty late now so we want it to finish. Tomorrow night we'll be down in Brisbane giving a talk called "The Human Soul – Emotions, Truth and Judgement," and we'll talk about the effect of judgement on your emotions and the effect of truth on your emotions, and the difference between truth and judgement.

Thank you so much for your time again. (Applause)

