You're scrolling absent-mindedly on the internet one day
when a video featuring Joe Manganiello
grabs your attention
with an offer to change your life forever.
He says that you—yes you—
could be plucked from relative obscurity
to join him for a game of Dungeons & Dragons
in the far-off mythical land
of Seattle.
Indeed, one brave adventurer
will tour the clandestine
Wizards of the Coast headquarters,
play D&D with the game's designers
and receive the rarest treasure of all:
a catered lunch.
You go to omaze.com/joe
and decide to donate to Make-A-Wish
for the chance to win.
You use your unrivaled powers of generosity
to make a donation in the amount of...
[dice roll]
Wow, $25. Very generous.
Little do you know that faithful click
then sets off a chain of events
leading to the ping of an email in your inbox.
It reads: Congratulations. You've won.
Please let us know
the name of the guest you're bringing,
and we'll arrange your flights.
You immediately think about bringing your friend Kyle,
who is really nice and loves D&D.
But, suddenly, you feel your horrible boss
Richard reading the email over your shoulder.
He starts going on and on
about how much he loved Joe Manganiello in Rampage
and would love to go as your guest.
He uses his most dangerous power...
threatening your job security.
It is...
[dice roll]
a 19, extremely effective.
You wave goodbye to Kyle
before you and Richard head to the airport.
He asks you to teach him how to play "Game of Dragons."
You use restraint to stop yourself from correcting him.
[dice roll]
Oof.
You not only correct him, but you lose track of time
explaining why Dungeons & Dragons
is the greatest game ever made
and how it brought you and Kyle closer as friends,
and suddenly you hear,
"This is the final boarding call for flight 432 to Seattle."
You sprint to the gate.
Richard's lagging behind.
You roll a strength test.
[dice roll]
Ooh!
You pick your boss up
and fireman carry him over your shoulders to the gate.
Now you arrive drenched in sweat,
but the gate door is closing.
You hang your head.
All hope is lost.
Until you remember
the mint condition copy of the original Monster Manual
that Kyle gave you for Joe Manganiello to sign!
You grab it from your bag
and throw it as hard as you can at the door and...
[dice roll]
You did it!
The manual perfectly wedges under the door
and keeps it open.
The entire gate breaks into applause!
People are going absolutely wild!
[phone ringing]
Give me a second.
Hi, hon.
Yeah, no, I'm um...
I'm at the grocery store.
I was, uh, looking for that yogurt that you love.
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, no.
I'll be home soon.
Okay.
All right, hon.
Talk to you later. Bye.
Love you. Love you.
Okay, where were we?
You level up.
You land in Seattle
and enter the Wizards of the Coast headquarters
now possessing a new skill:
moderate athletic ability.
The day is just as incredible as you thought it would be.
You hear about the history of D&D on the tour.
You speak to some of the game's designers
about their latest creations.
It is truly a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Kyle would have loved it.
Finally, you get to meet Joe Manganiello,
and he uses his charm
and persuasion on you and it is a...
[dice roll]
Let's give him advantage.
[dice roll]
And a plus five modifier, let's uh...
It works. Okay?
You spend the afternoon
playing Dungeons & Dragons together with Joe,
knowing that you've made a new friend for life.
Now if you're ready to embark on that epic journey,
go to omaze.com/joe to enter for the chance to win.
The best part is every donation benefits
the life-changing work of Make-A-Wish.
So enter now, and your journey will be magical.
I hope there's a fire bolt coming out of my hands.
They told me they would add it in post.
They didn't sound very confident,
so there's a bit of doubt that this is actually working.
