(Watch this)
These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I can say
I came up with more secrets to tell you today
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me
So now I gotta give you part three
of my confessions
First I told you 'bout the skank
that I was cheatin' with
Then I mentioned she's havin' my kid
That's not all, now I recall more, you see
So now I'll give you part three of my confessions
Now this gon' be the hardest thing
I think I ever had to do
Gonna tell you everything
I left out of parts one and two
Like, remember when I told you that
I knew Pauley Shore
Pauley Shore
That's a lie, I don't know what I said that for
I borrowed your ChapStick
from you without asking
Oh, and I tried out your nose hair trimmer too
And by the way, that "diamond" ring
is cubic zirconium
I killed your goldfish accidentally,
just replaced it with another one
(These are my confessions)
Just when I thought I said all I can say
I need to get some things off my chest right away
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me
I guess I gotta give you part three
of my confessions
Threw up on your dog
last time I had too much to drink
There've been times I've peed in your sink
Don't know why but you and I should agree
That blongs in part three of my confessions
Baby forgive me, I'm still trying to figure out
Why I used your toothbrush
to clean off the bathroom grout
Oh, and sometimes in private...
...really like to dress up like Shirley Temple
and spank myself with a hockey stick
(Hockey stick)
My boss thinks I'm a jerk, didn't get that raise
I haven't changed my underwear
in twenty seven days!
And when I'm kissing you
I fantasize you're a midget!
I'm so sorry Debbie
I mean Bridget
(These are my confessions)
Just when I thought I said all I can say
I got a few more secrets I'd like to convey
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me
I guess I gotta give you part
three of my confessions
Gave you buttered toast
I dropped and picked up off the floor
FYI, it was not a cold sore
Whoops, my bad
You'll be madder at me
when I finish part three of my confessions
You don't know how hard it is
for me to tell you this
But you remember that shirt
you got me for my birthday?
[Sigh]
Well, I returned it for store credit
I think that thing was hideous
what were you thinking?
Oh by the way...
I wasn't really sick last week
I just didn't want to go to your stupid office picnic
Oh, and when I told you at breakfast
we were all out of Rice Krispies?
What I meant was...
there was only enough left... for me
Sorry.
(These are my confessions)
Just when I thought I said all I can say
I thought of some more things
that should scare you away
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me
I guess I gotta give you part three
of my confessions
Once I blew my nose
and then I wiped it on your cat
And I lied, yes that dress makes you look fat
Anyway...
I shouldn't say anymore
'til I give you part 4 of my confessions!
I mean, I'm just getting started here.
I'm not even half way down the list
I - this thing can go on for...
[footsteps]
Hey - hey where ya goin'?
Honey?
What?
W-w-w-was is something I said?
[sigh] Women
