sometimes you must sit in awe of what
humans have been able to do
we've gone from simple foragers on the
plain of ancient Africa to a species so
numerous and advanced that we now
threaten our own existence and seem
ready to take the rest of the planet
down with us historians explore but a
tiny fraction of our species history
just the stuff written down really
however when you talk to archeologists
anthropologists and paleoanthropologists
you find a longer deeper and more
fantastical story going back to our
first evolution from hominids long
extinct now the theory that humans
evolved from previous hominids seems to
make a lot of sense because it does but
there are some avant-garde theorists out
there who think that we didn't originate
from Africa but that we originated from
somewhere else
of course that's ridiculous it's silly
on the face of it we have a
where am I
it's like the set of some cheap science
fiction movie you are in my space zone
human Tristan is this am I on a spaceship
yes you're on my spaceship and you are I
am Gleep Glorp from the planet Fleep
Florp I have traveled from beyond the
heavens to teach you the error of your
ways I have assumed the form of the most
attractive and beautiful human on this planet
sorry is that Thought Slime looks
like Thought Slime and you're wearing a Ghoulies shirt
no no I'm Gleep Glorp
I'm Gleep Glorp
so I've been abducted you said yes
welcome to space.
Am I being detained?
you are being detained
okay all right
You will do as I say for too long have you taught the
humans incorrect historic knowledge I
will now show you the great deeds that I
Gleep Glorp have accomplished throughout
human history and you will tell your
YouTube audience
okay can you put the gun down
I can
please
no
all right okay so you are an
extraterrestrial
yes
that's that's that's big news
remain calm
okay
but also be afraid for I come to
you in a spirit of hostility
okay you've
been watching over us for eons you say
okay so what evidence do you have that
you've been doing this
behold the viewing globe
holy moly
that's a good effect
this is one of my
favorite globes behold the Nazca lines
these Peruvian geoglyphs are proof
positive that I visited your people in a
previous age I mean it's pretty
undeniable to see them from this
satellite photo on your primitive earth
space satellites these lines look a lot
like airport runways combine that with
these golden objects found in Colombia
this golden trinket looks suspiciously
like an aeroplane does it not an
aeroplane from space it must have been
an aeroplane in the Americas centuries
before humans would invent them maybe
this is the site of an ancient alien
airport or they simply mimicked my
technology in order to coax me their God
back to them on that note look at these
Nazca geoglyphs massive images of
various animals and figures made in the
soil thing is though these images can
only be seen from above now I might not
be an expert on your human anatomy but I
am pretty certain you cannot fly without
aeroplanes who could these possibly be
for they're for me they are made for me
not that it matters but I rate them
pretty subpar in their execution I would
have given all of the animals swords like
your human anime
all right mr. not
thought slime let's let's just begin with
the Nazca
lines he's remade by people who
definitely could have made this the way
that it works is that these dirt in that
region actually has different colors
that are layered on top of each other so
if you just dig up a little bit you can
get a different color if you guys
remember that salt flat scene at the end
of Star Wars Episode eight with the red
and white stuff it's kind of like that
and that's how they could make these
geoglyphs as for the airplane that you
mentioned well the Quimbaya people have
been making artifacts based on nature
mostly you can see it in other types of
context here the evidence seems to point
to that your quote-unquote
airplane is actually more a stylized
bird or a bat the only reason it looks
like a plane to me is because I'm a
modern human so you know context
honestly it's not really great to make
inferences like this you can't just say
this looks like a thing I recognize
therefore it is that thing you kind of
need to study culture as a whole you can
definitely take these out of context and
say they look like airplanes but if you
look at them in the context of other
works they are rather normal not to
mention that if they did have airplanes
airplanes leave evidence
you know we'd probably find parts of
airplanes somewhere anywhere really now
let's go to the geoglyphs that you were
talking about they were likely some sort
of religious symbol or maybe some sort
of way to irrigate but they were
definitely able to be made by people
even if they couldn't see it from their
high vantage point they could just take
a smaller picture and just make it
bigger so they knew what the image
looked like they just they didn't
necessarily need to look at it from
above
it's impressive don't get me wrong but
it is doable with ancient tools and
oftentimes people would make things big
like this in order to have it last a
long time that's that's some pretty good
fidelity you've gone on that orb
it is a
very good orb it cost me 400 of your
human dollars plus tax
Oh
where?
Best Buy
Man, I haven't gone to that store in a
long time
I'm noticing a distinct amount of gravity
here so like are we really in space like
can I look out a window
silence human you're in
no position to make demands besides
everything is technically in space
technically correct but that's kind of
correct
if the Nazca lines do not
convince your foolish human mind
what about the great pyramids
well
actually we have a pretty good idea
about how the pyramids were built
yes by
aliens
mm-hmm
can you explain the crazy
lighting situation looking inside the
ancient Egyptian tombs we don't find
layers of silt and carbon like you'd
expect if they had used torches some
people claim they used mirrors like in
the hit film The Mummy
which was more accurate than you might
think by the way you're welcome for the
being you call Brendan Fraser he was one
of my creations in a bygone age anyway
the mirrors won't be able to reflect
enough light to illuminate these tombs
you see so how did the pyramids get lit
as the kids say simple
they used lightbulbs behold the Dendera
light here we have carved into stone
clear proof that the ancient Egyptians
had lightbulbs millennia before humans
would ever invent them there are even
references to high poles covered in
copper perfect for transmitting human
electricity and what perchance powered
these lightbulbs
well my sceptical friend look at this
battery found in ancient Iraq yes within
this part was a tube of copper and an
iron rod the ceramic was sealed allowing
for an acidic chemical reaction to
produce electricity much like your human
potato battery it is these batteries
which lit up the ancient Egyptian
temples again thanks to the noble gift
of the knowledge of electricity my
people
so benevolently bestowed upon yours
so
this light bulb that you're pointing to
definitely looks a lot more like a
depiction of something called a Djed pillar
and a lotus flower it's just like with the Quimbaya air plane it looks like a modern
thing because I'm a modern person
looking at it but if you look at it
without that sort of context the
cultural context of Egyptian people yeah
you're gonna get some bad inferences
it's actually a rather commonly found
ancient symbol in the Egyptian religion
it's a pillar symbol in hieroglyphics
that represents stability this pillar is
often associated with their Creator God
Ptah and another god named Osiris these
are like the gods of the afterlife the
underworld the dead Egyptians were
obsessed with death okay but it's
supposed to be the Ptah's spine if I
remember correctly if you look down at
the bottom of this light bulb you can
see two arms sticking out which if you
think of it as a backbone that makes
much more sense
there are also snakes coming out from
the lotus flower' here to represent
fertility which is part of the Egyptian
mythology if you know anything about
like the annual flooding of the Nile
River and by the way if they did use
electric lights there would be a lot
that would be needed to function there
would be infrastructure there would be
wires there would be power plants there
wouldn't need to be all sorts of things
and I think that we've investigated a
lot of these ancient Egyptian tombs
enough to know that they didn't have
like wiring in the walls or anything
like that and also if there were light
bulbs there would be evidence of the
places where they were created there
would be evidence left behind there'd be
old burnt-out light bulbs somewhere and
we haven't seen anything even close to
that and Egypt is like one of the most
studied parts of the ancient world
honestly we find out a lot about ancient
societies based on their garbage and
their waste and we have no evidence of
broken lightbulbs or wire or old rundown
power plants and by the way you wouldn't
be able to power a entire temple with
light bulbs based on potato batteries
actually why don't we talk about your
battery for a second the origin and the
purpose of what's called the Baghdad
battery as you're referring to here is
actually rather unclear
it's hypothesized that
maybe it functioned as a galvanic cell
like you were saying may be used for
something like electroplating which is
when you use electricity to gold-plate
something or maybe even some sort of
weird form of electro therapy but
there's there's a lot of issues with
that which is that we haven't found any
electroplated objects in this period and
there's a lot of reasons that this thing
dug up in Baghdad would not work as a
battery first of all the way it's
designed the functionality of this
battery would decrease the more than you
used it due to like bubbles and
corrosion and stuff but also the jar was
sealed with asphalt which would make it
difficult to empty out and refill with
new battery juice the battery that
you're referring to here also has no
terminals you know the things that are
on the sides of battery is that you need
to make a circuit the iron rod that
you're referring to here didn't even
actually project outside of the asphalt
plug and neither did the copper tube
think about it look at this thing where
would you put the wires on this thing to
make a circuit on top of all of that the
power level would be really low to power
anything for any length of time you
would need an unimaginable amount of
these things which would require a lot
of production production that we have
not been able to find the archaeological
records and it's highly doubtful given
the things that we found that they were
secretly making millions of these
Baghdad batteries most archaeologists
these days actually think that this was
more of a storage vessel for something
like old sacred Scrolls or something you
don't happen to be Sobek are you? Because if so I
have some questions about your methods
yes of course I am just allow me to
space Google this Sobek character how do
I spell my name
S O B E K
Oh God no no no
no not back no no gross calm down can I
get a trans rights in chat though
anyway but hold this carving
that just
looks like some dude
not just any dude I'm afraid straight-up
this is a stone slab found in Maya ruins
in palenque it decorated the lid of the
tomb of the great Pakal on top of his
tomb is this impressive carving note the
images of him sitting and fiddling with
what appears to be buttons and controls
he even has a breathing apparatus
attached to his nose and what looks like
rocket exhaust coming up the back of his
chair the evidence here is quite a
slam-dunk I'm afraid that's right my
people also play basketball I'm afraid
this is proof positive of an ancient
astronaut one of the many gifts I have
given to your strange and unworthy
species
okay this is definitely a funky
carving but what about context looking
at the iconography it actually looks
pretty straightforward if you look at
other pieces of art on the site
you can't just remove artifacts from
context and make a point archaeology is
much more complex than that if you talk
to experts on Maya cosmology what they
would say is that these are what are
called world trees below this is not
rocket exhaust it's a symbol of the
mouth of a giant two-headed serpent
which is the Maya symbol for the passage
to the afterlife which you know would
make sense because this was put on the
lid of someone's tomb the concept of the
afterlife for the my people is actually
really interesting but that's that's
different plus this is like a piercing
it's much more likely that this is just
a person put on the lid of a coffin
instead of you hooking them up with a
rocket ship and them choosing this
coffin to be the entirety of all their
depictions of it
hmm yeah I guess that
one was a bit of a stretch when I hey
wait a minute shut up it's like you
don't even want to be my Herald well
with the interstellar kidnapping the
employee compensation package better be
pretty good
or at the very least maybe
you can give me some actually good
evidence for ancient aliens
well technically you wouldn't be an employee
you'd be freelance but we do have a
ping-pong table
that's pretty cool so
the evidence
if it's evidence you want
behold the stone heads of Easter Island
how did you get this
all aliens have one
look at it it looks just like me
no comment but um
well the antennas
aren't they fell off but
okay we have a
really good idea of how these were made
and even how they were moved into position
they're in
by aliens
no by people
actually have you ever moved a
refrigerator
one time
they've the kind
of shuffling movement they actually did
an experiment to show how you can they
shuffled them down the island it's
actually really cool
silence this is no
mere refrigerator can you explain the
ancient dragon fortress of southwestern
Iceland
no never heard of that one just
give me a sec according to this that's
not real
no it no I it's definitely real
I was there once saw dragon which are
also real
okay well I don't have any
evidence to work off for that one sorry
your it looks like facts and logic won't
work on you
your trigger finger is
really tight right now
yes I have poor
trigger discipline I see that there's no
getting through to you
earth sjw's with facts and logic
behold the mind ray
oh I think the
safety is have you ever used one of
these things before
I think I don't if
foolish human you are unworthy
of my gifts the ping pong table the pill
that makes you never have to poop again
your ancestors were just as foolish and
primitive as you which is why they never
could have built these marvelous
technological beautiful thingamajigs
hang on a minute that's selling my
ancestor is short quite a bit
kind of
the point
let me let me use the let me
use the orb one more time and let me
explain something to you
okay but be
careful with it
I don't need to fight
every single theory of aliens to cast
serious doubts on your claims otherwise
I'd be here forever and by the time I
was done another season of ancient
aliens would have aired and I'd have to
address all the new claims if this were
a YouTube video and I left it here
someone would write the ancient
astronaut theory they believed in the
comments and think they owned me this is
my 9/11 truther video all over again
well not this time our ancient ancestors
weren't idiots they were ingenious and
resourceful in ways we arguably fall
short of they didn't have thousands of
generations of built up ideas and
technology but they were still capable
of the feats you say were impossible and
have you noticed that these ancient
astronaut people haven't made any claims
that the Parthenon or Colosseum needed
alien technology why is it almost never
Europeans alien just because a culture
isn't white
doesn't mean they're incompetent this is
just racist pseudoscience and a lot of
pseudo archaeological claims are made
using racism as their base assumption
the idea that somehow race has some sort
of biological base which it definitely
does not trust me scientists have tried
to prove that and oftentimes we think
these people were incapable of the
amazing feats they've done because
historians have rejected that the
ancestors of indigenous people were
capable of such amazing things so
obviously they needed help from some
sort of outside civilization these such
assumptions about people other than your
own is in fact the primary element of
racism and unfortunately this probably
explains why a lot of archaeological
pseudoscience is so popular these are
just the most fantastic claims of pseudo
archaeology
there's an entire cottage industry of
people who sell this stuff a fake
results they write tome after tome like
Erich von däniken who somehow has
written over 20 books in the last four
decades doing what amounts to saying
things look modern or people in the past
couldn't possibly have done something
impressive mostly in places where people
aren't white or claiming that because
something is misunderstood it must be
aliens people like him do it because
they're after money or fame sometimes
they manufacture a past to justify their
racism nationalism or religion sometimes
they desire a more romantic and
interesting past or are seriously
suffering from delusions either way what
they're doing is an archeology
archeology is procedural a scientific
process which does the dirty and
grueling work of piecing together what
actually happened with evidence and what
about you gleep glorp from the planet
fleep florp the possibility of an alien
and intelligent alien that came all the
way to earth and also looks humanoid is
practically impossible I'm going to
unleash my secret weapon Isaac Arthur
behold
when trying to predict the
likelihood of other civilizations in our
galaxy Drake's equation is both the best
and worst argument for those
civilizations its factors for
is on how many habitable plants there
all which is likely billions and how
many of those will develop life and the
ability to transmit signal as we might
detect unfortunately it ignores the
possibility that such civilizations
might spread out over time to new stalls
and do so very rapidly on astronomical
timelines potentially across the entire
galaxy in just a million or so years and
I blink on galactic timelines so that if
even one of these potential
civilizations has the desire and
capacity to do so they can leave such a
massive footprint on the galaxy that
they would be impossible to miss and
have no motivation to hide indeed they
are not limited to just this galaxy but
can spread to maples too in this regard
it's not strange that aliens might have
come and visited earth in the past it's
strange that they have done so and left
no overt footprint here or anywhere we
might detect them such a scenario is
only exacerbated if we consider any
technology which makes traveling and
expanding such a civilization easier
such as faster than light travel or
communication since it means they can
get everywhere much faster and
coordinate their efforts follow battle
without that even annoying technologies
like cybernetics and genetic engineering
such a civilization is doomed to
fragment into a billion devotion ones
but that would hobby stop expansion
anymore than the thousands of human
tribes of prehistory stopped expanding
and dividing just because they couldn't
talk to their more distant cousins so
even if one of these tribes had visited
us and later left for some reason one
would have to ask why they never
returned or why nobody else had come by
if we won't interesting to one of these
civilizations why not to the others and
why would each have similar policies
about dealing with primitive species the
only two aspects of ancient aliens which
tends to make sense is that they would
be interested in us even if it was just
they'll anthropology departments and
that they might resemble us but not
because they actually did resemble us
at least physically while the human form
is a fairly logical shape and the
humanoid might not be an uncommon one to
evolve they all plenty of other forms
evolution might spawn that would walk
just as well if not better
even then humanoid is hardly human and
expect those real few who had that rough
shape to bailey resemble us beyond that
Vatel they'd probably resemble us in
mind in that they'd likely be a curious
and social group by nature since the in
curious or antisocial wouldn't likely
spawn technological civilizations asked
you physically resembling us when they
visited that might be achieved simply by
employing some equivalent of androids as
it's easier to learn about and interact
with a group you resemble in appearance
and behavior while there might be
species out there who by coincidence
resemble to us quite closely physically
they'd likely be millions nearer who did
not but who still found us interesting
so if you encounter an alien that looks
like you it's no coincidence nor a sign
of distant relation but intentional
mimicry
all right so who are you
do you
really want to know human this may come
as a bit of a shock to you but I am NOT
a Gleep Glorp from the planet Fleep Floop or
whatever
I'm thought slime from youtube.com/thoughtslime
yeah I pretty much guessed
yeah I got you pretty good didn't I I
bet you thought that this whole thing I
was an alien I was teaching you about
ancient aliens but I think you learned a
thing or two about pseudoscience today
believing crazy claims without evidence
but but I was the one who did all the
no
need to thank me Tristan
you didn't do
anything
my job here is done
oh okay so where did you where are we
we're in space that part is real
okay
yeah we are actually in space
is there a way back?
no
we're gonna die
I just want to step out and say thank
you to all the patrons who are making it
possible for me to try some of this
strange new stuff I'm actually able to
run this channel as a full-time job or
at least try to because you've been so
amazing to pledge as little as a dollar
a month to keep the ball rolling you can
pledge over at patreon.com/stepbackhistory or if a commitment isn't
your thing you can give donations at
paypal.me/stepbackhistory if you
can't or don't want to contribute
financially I totally get that but you
still want to help step back then share
this or a favorite video of mine with
your friends families or communities
that you think will like it
word-of-mouth is vital because the
algorithm does not like this channel
also subscribe to thought slime he was
excellent for being part of this and for
everyone watching thank you
was that
was that all a dream?
