- Girl, well I thought we
would do a video on minimalism.
My thoughts, Jenna Marbles
thoughts on minimalism.
Whenever I see someone with one dog,
I can only think about
how sad is that dog?
Why wouldn't you have more than one dog?
Why wouldn't you?
That just seems like a
lonely life, doesn't it?
I don't know, does it?
I think it does.
Jenna, who are you talking to?
Myself.
Oh.
Okay.
Nine times out of ten, why
would you only have one dog.
Give me your address Jera
Sky, so I can come over there
and push a pet on you, that dog is sad.
Then I saw a thing about
her not having any chairs.
This really gets to me.
Where are you supposed to put your ass?
I don't not have any chairs.
They're awesome.
Why would I want to put a place
where my shit comes out of
in the same place where I put my feet?
That just seems silly to me.
We make chairs for a reason, okay.
It's not just for sitting on,
it's so that way we don't
put our shitty asses
anywhere else in the house.
But no Jera, I guess
put your ass wherever.
I don't know about you guys,
but I am definitely not
inviting her to my house.
She'll have her ass all over everything.
On the chair, on the wall, on Kermit.
Next video I saw, I'm sorry,
but why would you work out
of a closet for your office.
Oh thanks, now I can
smell all my body odor,
in this teeny tiny room
without any windows.
And then I realized, this
fucking chick doesn't have
any fucking deodorant, because
she's a fucking minimalist.
Girl!
And then Jera, where are all your clothes?
I mean seriously, how are
you supposed to hide from
your mailman, if you don't
have a ton of clothes
to change into a different
person every time.
My mailman, he's a skinny
little perv that always tries
to pick up Kermit and
take him when he leaves.
And then what happens when you get tanner
all over your clothes?
When you have a tanning emergency.
Why wouldn't you want to surround yourself
with all kinds of stuff?
I mean, look at my house.
Everything I love is in it, plus some.
Hey, if you need a bookcase,
from a child, from the 1980s,
I've got one.
Just give me a call, just
give me a little ring,
I've got one for you, right here.
Don't worry about it, I've got it.
You need something,
call Jenna, I've got it.
Don't call Jera, call Jenna.
But I don't know, maybe
there are a few things
I would like to get rid of.
Like maybe that sock that I
can't find the other sock for,
or Julian.
Or that old box of cereal
at the top of the cabinets,
that I just can't reach, so why bother?
Don't ever take away one of my couches.
Because where else am gonna
sleep, besides my bed?
That would be some fucking hard ass shit.
That's like doing hard time,
might as well put me in prison.
Bring me to jail.
Why would you take away my couch?
My TV?
What is the point of living then?
Send me jail, lock me up, fuck this.
If you bring me over a couch,
I'd be like here's a tip,
let me give you more a tip,
because that way my couch
is extra big, I have more places
I could sleep all the time.
I don't care what Pinterest tells me,
I don't care what Tumblr
tells me about minimalism.
I ain't getting rid of my stuff.
There's some people in this
life that don't need stuff.
I'm not one of them.
If I was, I think I would know by now.
Why should I be going
against what is natural?
Why do you think, when you go anywhere,
they fucking giving something for free?
Because it's awesome to have stuff.
That's why we live in America.
I think I would literally
be going against everything
inside my body to say no to stuff.
Who the fuck am I?
I don't know, who are you, Jenna?
I don't know Jenna.
Who are you talking to?
I don't, who's here?
And then Marbles, we would
have to get rid of your brother
and your sister because
we're not gonna have any dogs
in the house, no pets, no animals.
You want to fly in balloons
again, cause we can do that.
You want to go outside and
fly, that would be fun.
Maybe we'll both get enough
and we'll both go fly.
Fuck it, let's get a hot air balloon.
You want to have more
time for experiences,
guess what, maybe
experiences aren't all fun.
Maybe some of them suck sometimes.
Maybe some of us don't want
to spend time with friends,
because our friends are assholes.
There's gotta be more
to this minimalism thing
than just having a good time.
Because I feel like
sleeping is a good time.
Who the fuck want's to spend more time
with their friends all the time?
I see my friends enough.
I don't understand, why you think my stuff
isn't bringing me joy, Jera.
Everything I have brings me joy.
Just because I have a lot of it,
doesn't mean it's not bringing me joy.
In fact, I think I'm
happier than most people.
Maybe, maybe not, who's to say?
My grocery bag brings me joy,
cause I'm saving the planet.
I go to whole Foods, I don't
gotta pay ten cents for a bag.
My lotion brings me joy, 'cause
then my skin is silky smooth
all the time.
My pens bring me joy.
My other pen.
My third pen.
My twelfth pen.
All this shit brings me joy,
'cause I always have something
to write with.
Any room I'm in, there's a pen there.
I can always jot down
all my brilliant ideas.
This thing brings me joy,
I don't know what it is,
but it fucking brings me joy.
Guess what else, girlfriend?
My locked up clarinet, in the closet,
just knowing it's there, brings me joy.
You know what doesn't bring me joy?
Just wondering where the
fuck all my stuff is?
Whenever I'm out of town,
alls I think about is,
I wish I had more of
my own shit around me,
'cause this place is uncomfortable.
Who wants to feel
uncomfortable when they travel?
I know I don't, why would you?
Why would anyone want to go
and experience something else?
When you already know what's
good, what feels good to you.
Who the fuck wants to do that?
I'm sure you could trace
back this minimalist thing
to some corporation, where
you're just supporting
the corporations still.
'Cause you think you're
not supporting consumerism,
doesn't mean you aren't.
They've always got ways to trick us.
They're always figuring stuff out.
Watch the news, you're like,
oh shit, did something wrong.
And then I look right
here and oh, look at that,
dead Steve Jobs, is
making money off of people
being minimalist, right now.
There's always something.
You never know everything.
Just think about it for a second,
cause something ain't right here.
Someone lied to you,
Jera, 'cause having stuff
is fucking great, fucking great.
Look around, I'm not alone,
even when I am alone,
it's great.
And then when Julian's not home
or the dog's are missing, I
can spend time with my things.
And that's something you
can't trade with not having
anything around.
I know I won't be a
minimalist anytime soon.
I don't know if you know this,
but I post new videos every
Wednesdays, slash Thursdays
slash Fridays, slash
Saturdays, slash Sundays,
slash Mondays, slash
Tuesdays, slash Wednesdays.
So just make sure you
subscribe before you leave.
And just, like, always be on the lookout,
cause who the fuck knows when
I'm gonna post a new video.
Girl!
