One of the most exciting aspects of every
new Pokémon generation is seeing all of the
new Pokémon.
What will their designs be like?
What will they take inspiration from?
How cute will they be?
How strange will they be?
And what kind of weird things will the Pokédex
describe next?
Well, we took a look at the Pokédex entries
for every new Galar Pokémon to see what kind
of strange descriptions we could find.
And here are a few of the ones that really
stood out for us.
First up is Wooloo.
Oh Wooloo, so cute and fluffy.
Like really fluffy.
Like so fluffy that it could literally fall
off a cliff and stand back up, unharmed.
That’s an immense amount of cushion for
the little sheep.
But really, it makes us wonder something else.
Who the heck decided to throw a Wooloo off
a cliff to find this out?
Is this a Lemmings situation?
Hmm, somebody should really keep an eye on
them.
We honestly shouldn’t worry though.
Even Wooloo’s evolution, Dubwool is all
about that spring.
In fact, its wool is so springy that if you
were to make a carpet from it, it’d end
up closer to a trampoline.
The moment you step foot on it, you’re going
to bounce.
Again, it makes us wonder about the poor fool
who found this out.
They just want to make a carpet and instead
they get launched into the ceiling.
It can be rough living in the Pokémon world.
And that’s especially true if you mess with
certain Pokémon.
Take Coalossal for instance.
While it’s usually peaceful, it doesn’t
take kindly to anybody vandalising its mines.
It’ll get so enraged that the offenders
will be hit with flames that reach 2,700 degrees
Fahrenheit.
That’s nearly twice the temperature needed
to cremate a body or just enough to melt a
steel beam.
We take it Coalossal isn’t one to leave
evidence behind when it murders a person.
Yikes.
Of course this isn’t the only Pokémon that
could attack humans.
There’s also Hatterene who you probably
shouldn’t annoy.
If you’re too loud around it, you run the
risk of simply being torn apart by the claw
on its tentacle.
Yeah, that’s a good way to scare kids.
And speaking of brutal Fairy types, there’s
Morgrem who will only act like its begging
for forgiveness when beaten.
In reality, this devilish imp is trying to
lure people in so it can stab them with its
spear-like hair.
That is a pure villain act plain and simple.
The Galar Pokédex also contains a lot of
strange entries in regard to food.
For one, we were introduced to Cramorant before
release and how it could spit out an Arrowkuda
after using Surf or Dive.
Makes sense.
But it also has the slim chance of coming
back with a Pikachu in its mouth and this
gets its own Dex entry.
And it has to be one of the funniest things
we’ve read despite the poor Pikachu’s
situation.
You see, Cramorant is choking a little, but
it isn’t really bothered.
What?
We know this Pokémon’s a bit brain dead,
but this is ridiculous.
Oh, I’m choking.
Eh whatever.
But Cramorant seems to be onto something when
it comes to Arrowkuda.
After all it’s evolution, Barraskewda, is
described as having flesh that’s surprisingly
tasty.
The question comes up time and time again
whether the people of the Pokémon world actually
eat Pokémon.
We know about Slowpoke tails, but it seems
someone decided to have a bite of Barraskewda.
It might have a strong jaw, but apparently
that meat can’t be beat.
Of course no meal is complete without some
dessert, right?
Fortunately, we think, there’s Appletun,
whose body is covered in a sweet nectar.
And the skin on its back is especially yummy,
to the point that children used to have it
as a snack.
That’s...huh.
We’re just picturing kids walking up to
this poor Pokémon and peeling its skin to
eat.
Does it come off naturally or did it require
knives like an actual apple?
We suppose it’s good that they don’t do
it anymore, but still, that just sounds cruel.
Maybe that’s why Sinistea weaponizes itself
if people drink it.
After all, it can absorb the life-force of
those who attempt to.
Unfortunately for Sinistea, it doesn’t get
much of a chance as the taste is so bad that
it gets spat out immediately.
You know, Sword & Shield confirmed there’s
a YouTube equivalent in the Pokémon world.
There has to be Sinistea taste challenge out
there.
Somebody would be dumb enough to do it for
those sweet, sweet clicks.
Anyway, there’s also Clobbopus.
It doesn’t get eaten though we wouldn’t
be surprised if that was revealed later considering
its tentacles tear off easily.
But don’t worry, they’ll grow back.
Even Clobbopus knows this.
Though we do wonder what that kind of life
is like considering it’s about as smart
as a three-year-old.
Somehow, it’s a creepy thought imagining
a three-year-old being like, eh, lost an arm.
Whatever.
Kids these days.
But speaking of kids, there’s one Pokémon
they don’t need to be afraid of, Dreepy.
Yeah, it may be a Dragon type, but if caught
alone, even a child could beat it.
That’s...pretty weak.
Fortunately, it just needs good friends, teamwork,
and a bit of training to evolve and become
stronger.
It’s an uplifting message for everyone.
So let’s kill the mood with our last Pokémon,
Galarian Corsola.
The sudden climate change in the world wiped
out this ancient variety of Corsola.
Now it’s a Ghost, absorbing the life-force
of others through its branches.
Climate change is real and poor Corsola was
the victim.
And that’s just a few of the Pokédex entries
that really stood out to us in Pokémon Sword
& Shield.
Some of funny, some are disturbing, and some
are just sad, but what are some of your favorites
from Gen 8?
Let us know in the comments and be sure to
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