 
### Darkmalign into the Future

"Good morning, it looks like everyone has been properly placed into their stasis pod positions."

"I am Captain Lotten your Time Sequencing/Navigation officer and Captain of the Darkmalign your transport tug. I see from the manifest that most of you have done this before so I won't get into the technical aspects of our voyage."

This is my fifth jump and I have started taking the injections that will keep me company over the next thousand days. The brain numbing loneliness could only be handled by the neural implants and the drugs, but that is my problem and not that of this collection of brainwashed dimwits. They always look the same, the facial expressions of excitement and adventure except for the ones that have gone through the process before, they have the look of pain. This group has hardness in their eyes, they are not bound for vacation or advancement but of torment and loss.

"I do want to assure you that I will put you and this craft into a tight orbit around your designated planet and rendezvous point."

Unless that is, we are all lost to numerous disastrous scenarios that will turn us into space dust. It has always amazed me how we can go forward at such peril. How we can find people like these that are willing to risk it all for a few bobbles or few moments of pleasure. I am no different from them except that that I know what to expect and that makes me even more foolish.

"Most of you have probably heard of my nickname, Captain Nightmare, so lets get this out in the open right now."

"During our voyage you will be kept company by our Neural Simulators. Your brain will be told of three different historical events. When you regain reality you will remember these events like you would any other story or video."

"You will not, I repeat will not have any subconscious messaging or nightmare scenarios like you have heard rumored during stasis. This is only to help keep your brain active during our Trek."

What I don't want to do is to tell them just how real it will seem. It took the dweebs years to figure out that all the neural stimulation in the world were worthless unless the brain believed the stories like they were really happening to the individual. I picked out the stories from a catalog the Corporation provides and I have viewed the three they will feel. You never really know how each individual will react even though from birth they have been programmed to believe and think the same.

"Our destination is classified as per our contract".

"Your group leader has all the details and will inform you when we reach our rally point and you become coherent"

" Our Trek will last abut 1,045 earth days. Our first memory story will start around day 100 and again they are just historical stories that are not related to each other, they just exercise your brain "

"We will start Stasis in a few moments so relax as the next sound you hear will be the Darkmalign pulling you into the future.

Day 103 0700 ZEWT Imperiled Light Memory tape 2-A32

Every time I watch the sunrise in the field I always think of soldiers past. Throughout the ages someone has always been on watch thinking the same thoughts, as I am this morning. Thinking, freezing, sweating and always watching always wondering what was in store for this day. You gaze into the quiet of the sunrise; you feel the hunger from the night before and the loneliness. Time after time, watch after watch. War, no matter the size or complexity is always fought in bad weather, too hot and dry or too cold and wet this one is no different. The quiet is broken by your watch relief, half asleep and hungry, this was you yesterday this is you tomorrow.

"What's up Sarge? Kill anyone last night?"

"You must have missed it Jenkins, sleeping as you do. Let's see two no three I think, one looked just like you but got away."

" Funny, learn that in NCO Class?"

"Try and stay awake Jenkins and take your meds, the Lieutenant has been looking at you funny lately."

Different names different faces but always the same kids, not too bright but always so sure of themselves, some make it some don't, Jenkins worries me. I think I will head back to camp to check the rest of the brood and check the sensors. The Lieutenant will be up by now; I don't think that guy ever sleeps, always looking for something wrong and always looking at me. There is a lot of undergrowth in this area the sensors don't mind but it's unnerving to me. You can't see past the next tree on this path and I hate dark paths they always lead to trouble. This first sensor seems good; I have never been at ease with the dark strobe light it seems unnatural. Around this corner and presto there they are all still in sleep mode.

"Saaaaaaaaargent Keys, what's for breakfast?"

"Funny Lewis."

"Sergeant I think Jenkins is missing."

"Its Ok Filmore he has the watch forward, seen the Lieutenant?"

"Ah NO."

"I think he is missing too Sarge."

"You were new once too Carter so try to help please."

"The Lieutenant is back aft counting his pills is my guess Sarge."

" Thank you Corporal Bruce, he was nervous last night so lets all get squared away, anyone sick or in need?"

I have always been told not to ask how my troops feel but I had a Sergeant once that always asked about our welfare and it made me feel secure for some odd reason, so I ask. We have been on the march for two days and set up ambush for one, so three in the field we should have today and gone by this time tomorrow. I don't like it when the Lieutenant gets nervous it's like he knows something I don't. The sensors are pulsing open and that's good but still in the undergrowth you tend to see things behind every tree.

I've been with Lieutenant Simms for three years he picked up my ticket without a challenge and we get along. Usually the new men don't respect him because of his small stature but after a few words that is replaced with fear. Only once have I seen the scars from his flogging when we were crossing a large stream, but I was there for the event as the brass calls it and meds have never been off the chain on his neck since. At least that I've seen. There aren't too many rights for a 32 Alfa weapons grunt but having the good-bye pill is reassuring, if captured we pop the pill from the Lieutenant and its goodnight forever. Getting captured by this enemy is not an option. What the enemy can do to you makes your worst nightmare seem like kids play so we are a bit sticky about the Lieutenant keeping a hold of them. I have the other meds with me but not around my neck. I have my Troopers press inject themselves daily so it would be a little hard to put around my neck, plus the fact it irritates my array implants.

"Sergeant Keys, Jenkins told me last night that Lester Keys was your Dad is that true?"

"A little, he was my genetic Grand Dad, unfortunately his genius was wasted on me."

"WOW so you remember when there was still petroleum, I mean before the wars."

" No Filmore that was before my time. A little advice, don't listen too much to what Jenkins says OK?"

I spot the Lieutenant off to the right side of the clearing checking out his sensor. He has always insisted on having his own sensor with him besides the one on our forward position and one aft. The dark lights are the main reason we can go into the field. I am not sure who came up with them but the dark matter sensor looks for certain movements of dark matter in our area and is not affected by anything else. So when they are working they are perfect for our mission. They report alarm intel to our array implants; all except for the Lieutenants he has his own. The Lieutenant is a short man around 5'6" and about 140 pounds and looks ordinary enough except when you get close enough to see his eyes, they are unworldly, that's the only way I can explain it and it's hard to listen to him. When you look at his eyes you keep hearing him say, "you get it" a lot, it makes him mad, he is a scary guy.

"You give out the LES Medication Sergeant Keys?"

"Yes Lieutenant."

"Did they all press?"

" Don't know I should get the report soon."

"Did you get anything from the sensors around 0430?"

" No I was on watch forward and didn't get anything."

"How are your new Bug Eyes working?"

I was issued new vision gear before we left and they are still giving me problems. We were told in class they would take some time to get used to but they still are bothering me. They do have some features I like. They are not attached to my headgear but use a 5-inch band that goes all the way around my head. The Lat Long is far to the 9 o'clock position so you don't piss on your boots because they are at your 6 o'clock. The red hue is hard to get used to, but the display because of the red wavelength makes the data stand out so that helps. I was never sure why they put Lat Long on the display as the mission maps guide you all the way and alarm if you get off course and the old GPS is watching you every second, so why? I don't know. The magnetic clip that hooks up the vision gear to the array implant makes a little snap that is unnerving when you're installing it. So all in all I hate it and just hope if we get into a fight I can get it off quick.

"Love it, hope we all get them. Problem with your sensor?"

" Not sure, I want you and your pick to head out the right flank for about 3 hours."

" Will be Bruce and Lewis anything special?"

"Just look for signs of LICE."

"You're scaring me Lieutenant."

"Good, who has the watch 1200 to 1600?"

"New guy Filmore, I was going to keep him company."

"I'll watch him take off, report every 3 or 4 Clicks."

Corporal Bruce is a good weapons man, always on the trigger and keeps up with what's going on but always holds something back when there is action, always one step back. I keep thinking he is one instant away from just sliding out. He always keeps up with his meds and does all the military things to stand out from the rest of us, but there is something I just don't know what but just something. I like him otherwise, we have been legging it out together for two years and I put him up for Corporal. We spent some time in the barracks talking the meaning of life and where we were going when we get jettisoned from the service. I hope I never have to depend on him. Lewis on the other hand is in the middle of everything he is the quintessential goof off always on report, always has the dirtiest rifle but when he fires he hits. I saw him once with two of the enemy on his back, he killed them both and stood there and shook for an hour. I figured he would be out of it but that night we did it all again. He has a deep scar on his left cheek, the Tech Doc said they could clear it up but he would have nothing to do with that. In the barracks he is usually setting something on fire, I depend on him.

I still don't like the way the Lieutenant sent us out. If he saw something on his sensor I would have expected him to tell me; it's not like him. Anyway it is starting to rain and I'm getting tired of watching Bruce's parade gate. If I remember the briefing map there just might be an old population (pop) area, ahead. My map scans are showing our retreat but nothing forward. It might be I am getting used to the new Bug Eyes, as they are smaller than the old ones by about 20 millimeters and closer to the eye. The display is getting better by the minute "it learns" just as the fat Chief said in class. I guess he was right; it filters out the rain so it looks clear but I am still cold. Lewis is falling back he is getting tired and that makes him do stupid things.

"Lewis do you have your safety on?"

" No it broke 2 months ago."

"Can't you ever talk straight Lewis?"

"Not when you're around Brucy."

"Let's take 10, you two stay here I am going forward a bit."

I wish I had a dark light scanner with me, as this area is spooky. If I can find that pop area we can check it out and then head back. It's something to report.

Just past a little clearing I spot at least one of the wood structures that the old pops used to crowd into. This is good; I will report in and get on the good side of the Lieutenant then slide out. Then I will check it out because sometimes you can find bottles and old light imprint pictures that would bring in some markers.

"Beacon on................. Red Robin."

"Go Sergeant."

"Checking out an old pop zone, copy my position?"

"Negative with two."

"Looks harmless."

"Your call, keep in contact."

Now that's the way it works, spend a few hours relaxing around this spook zone then slide out.

"You two on me."

I figured they both would be right behind me sniffing out this place. I can call in some help from COMSPYSAT so they can do a close IR scan and see if there is anyone in this area. It's not a dark light scan but still a quick look and out. COMSPYSAT is at my 1 o'clock on the display and presto we are being scanned. These Bug Eyes are working out, here's to you Chief. This place looks old and is set up like a round plate with the main stores and supply in the center, then the brass and then the grunts on the outside. Typical of the designs that was used for a few decades after the fuel petered out. It's hard to believe any population could be so stupid as to let their fate depend on another pop half way around the globe.

"Beacon Down."

"What's up Sarge?"

"You smell that?"

"Yeh, it's like the General's yearly birthday party."

"Watch for smoke."

There have been talks of some breakout groups that have moved into old pop zones like these, nostalgic for the days when there seemed to be some destiny for individuals. This may be one of them as the Lieutenant was a bit vague on this mission; he usually briefs us better than he did today. He might just be a little shy talking about renegades looking for a place to stay out of the way. Then again he may have intel on LICE that may be what this party is all about. Either way I think we will leave it to the sensors and precede back the way we came.

"Sarge you're the History Jack, what was this place?"

"After the petrol slowed down and the violence sped up some people slipped to these remote places and tried to revert back to the day when the petrol flowed cheap. It worked for a few years then they started taking sides and left."

"We going in?"

"Nope I don't like that smell, we are going back. Lewis you're point tell me when you see the aft sensor."

History Jack now that's funny, but I do have my ways. During the Phoenix battles I was wounded and as always it came from nowhere.

Phoenix was bad, we were going through the ruins and everyone including my squad was a sniper. The mag rounds that were commonplace by then were quiet as the projectile was pushed out the barrel by magnetic pulse rather than old fashion powder rounds. So you never knew where the shot came from, just the yelp by the person receiving the hit. The worst was the headshot; I always try to shoot for the brainpan. With a headshot the screams were so terrifying to the LICE they always hesitated for just long enough to get a read on them. I don't remember a lot of hand to hand, the LICE usually aren't good at it and will fall back before hooking up with a grunt and a knife. They never seemed to have had the hatred for us as we have for them. I may be the only person who knows why or cares, but that's another story, the LICE are aggressive and smart. We followed their lead of letting them come to us rather than attacking. The fighting in Phoenix was so close no one attacked. Salt lake was different for some reason, we attacked at different points looking for high ground and all that stupidity; we were not successful.

Any way, we were in some small pop area Gold something Canyon or Creek just east of Phoenix and the fighting was hot. I had been looking up at this hill when I thought someone had punched me in the back. It turned out a projectile had put a hole through my left lung, I still remember spitting blood. I was in and out of it after the press meds Sergeant Randall stuck in my arm, he saved my life and the rest of the squad did a number on the sniper. I guess it was pretty gruesome it took some time for death, I have never been a fan of that but they were not doing it for me. We all hate a sniper they are like snakes you never know where they are until they strike.

The Next few days were a blur but they got me out and back to a hospital in Portland. After a week I finally figured out I was going to live again. During the time I was in and out of consciousness because of the meds, I kept seeing this picture of my granddad donor, dear old Lester. I would dream weird things about struggling with a LICE then see the picture of Lester.

A week later I was moved to a big hall of cots all full of grunts with holes in them. Most were well along in their recovery and were talking BIG like they do before a battle.

There were problems with my lung and the surgeon told me this was going to take some time before I was back to the fun. I was in a better humor than the rest. Boredom set in a few days later and I was searching the vids for information on Old Lester to see if I could figure out why I kept seeing him in my dreams. Around the third week I was arguing with a corpsman named Jackson that had suggested I help him with the cleaning. When he looked at the vids I was watching and saw what I was reading he told me he could show me some paper reading that had all kinds of info on old Populations if I helped him. So after a few hours I followed him down to the old storage hall full of paper reading. The hospital was old and I wasn't surprised to see this Hall but it seemed haunted by time. I promised myself to do some exploring when I was feeling better then thought the better of that. I figured I would be out the door when I was feeling better so no time like the present. After a few days of sneaking down to the Hall I found some reading on Old Lester, it chronicled his life and times. It was hard reading, the paper is not like a vid, I wasn't that good at reading anyway. I had the usual hated reading classes in my youth camps but this reading was fun for some reason, but I still wasn't that good at it.

I was beginning to worry about sneaking around. I was getting good at telling the lead corpsman, I was going for tests but you could see he was wondering about me. Corpsman Jackson who showed me the Hall was looking for more and more help and I figured he would turn me in if he felt like it so I limited my search to a few hours each day. I couldn't wait; I looked forward to it a bit too much. I was finding out a lot more of what had transpired in the early 21st century before everything was put on vid. There was so much that the average grunt didn't know I was determined to keep it that way. I am no commander but I do know my troops and this intel would lead to no good in the field. During my forays into the "dungeon" as I called it I started finding little things that seemed a miss. There were papers that I didn't remember finding sitting by the pile I was reading through. Those papers seemed to point to what I was looking for.

Around that time there was another push into Salt Lake coming up through the south and the hospital was filling up again. I talked to a guy on the cot next to me and from what he said things weren't going too good. The LICE had figured we would be attacking from the south and were waiting. He told me about rumors of spies in the upper ranks. That made sense; there is always greed even in our world. There will always be those who take from those who have little or nothing.

One evening I was reading in the dungeon when Corpsman Ellis confronted me. I figured this research wasn't going to last forever so I smiled and asked if he needed any cleaning done, he didn't laugh. I had seen Corpsman Ellis around the hospital he was old compared to frontline troops and someone to avoid. Even though he was a corpsman he epitomizes a garrison sergeant who got to their position by not compromising. In the field compromise is an art and I learned it well, the difference being there is always someone behind you and they are armed and usually mad about everything including the field sergeant. Ellis stood there in the shadows awaiting the confrontation; he was a small man more like a Rat than a Bear.... a person to watch.

"Find anything interesting to read Sergeant Keys?"

"I was looking for leadership training material you understand."

"A Silver Star winner needing leadership material? Now let's see were did you find that Silver Star, Fresno wasn't it?"

" Boise Ellis you know that, what's the problem?"

"Let's not get upset Sergeant we wouldn't want you to kill someone, like in Boise."

Sergeant Ellis was going to be a hard case. I've seen his type before they are like the gunfighter of the 19th century, you shoot someone and they start lining up to take a shot at you. Boise was three years back and a mistake I wished I hadn't made. The LICE had set up as a trap in the barn of this run down farm. I didn't figure it was that big a deal. I sent in two grunts to flush out any unfortunates that happened to make the stupid mistake of being in a structure with only two ways out. I went around back and sure enough they came out like bees. I tripped trying to get out of the way. I had a full canister and just closed my eyes, pulled the trigger and started counting the last few moments of my life. When the dust cleared I was still alive and unhurt they weren't. Unfortunately for me a Staff Mobile had observed the whole thing and because the brass was so unfamiliar with field combat they just figured I had planned it all and needed an award. They always need to award someone, it's their job, that month it was my turn. I have never been able to live it down. The LICE were all young and we never did find any leadership. I killed five by mistake or just dumb luck. I revisit one of the faces every few weeks at night in my dreams, in a collage of death. I faked a cough and stood up.

" What do you want Ellis?"

"What are you looking for?"

"I was looking up material about a long lost relative."

"Lester Keys?"

"Yep."

"You said the magic word Keys any other word would have meant a night in the Brig."

For some odd reason I figured I could trust Ellis. Call it Spre décor or whatever, but I have had times when I just knew I could trust someone after standing toe to toe. I decided to pick old Ellis' brain. He seemed the type to know more than it seemed and would only come clean when asked, nicely.

"So what's the intel Ellis, I mean on Lester?"

"You want to know about your famous Lester do you Keys well this is your lucky day. Sit down you make me nervous. The real truth is not like the vid, it's more like you.... Sergeant Silver Star."

I figured he had some ax to grind so I sat and listened to this little man who had access to this Hall for years and probably had spent a lot of time looking up material that would make our heroes look like dirt. As I sat there listening things started to become clear how our world had changed and how I had become what I am. What Ellis was saying was hard to believe but most history is when looked at from afar. After a few hours I thanked Ellis and went back to my cot. What a smug rat Ellis was. I had a hard time sleeping so I went to the roof to think, it was cooler up there and I like being alone. Things started falling in place from what Ellis had said and what I had read about the history of the latter part of the 20th century. It was nice out and I liked the city lights to the northeast. Society had been like an old fishing reel, the line in control, then out of control. Technology had been going forward one click at a time and then around the middle of the 20th century things started to really get out of hand. Before it was all over it was like the fishing reel was freewheeling and by the middle of the 21st century it had turned into a tangled mess of line impossible to untangle.

It all seemed to start with choice, from what I can figure around the middle of the 20th century our society had been in lock step, then it had stepped forward into a time of all types of choices. Throughout the ages when given a choice most made the wrong one and this time was no different. People that demanded tolerance seldom had any for others. Subscription into the military was for poor and young boys. This didn't go over to well but education seemed to be a way for some of the middle class to protect their sons from the military.

Lester Keys enlisted in one of the small community colleges that sprang up like weeds through out the states to profit from the influx of all these "students". The stage was set. Lester was never what you would call a bookworm and most of his time was spent like most of the students doing as little as possible to get a passing grade. It was hard to believe just how he managed to transfer to a state university as a "Biology Major". I would blame fate.

After a few more unenlightened years at college Lester managed to graduate with a biology degree and was forced onto society. Although the most popular vid of him in history instruction, show a robust leader and science official but my studies show a different type of person and one that was more a hypocrite than hero. The next few years were marked with a lack luster career that led to dismissal from one pharmaceutical company to another. Then came the historical position that changed the world. Seems Lester's Aunt had pulled some strings and landed him the honored position of Lead Rodent Control Biologist for the AJ Lang Chemical Company, a position that was made for Lester.

During this time society was struggling with all types of problems, high fuel costs and high labor costs. The enlightened culture was starting to come apart for obvious reasons that were lost on the common citizen who seemed to be more concerned with drugs than work. Lester at this point was doing his best to stay employed and for some reason was doing quite well stuffed away in his lab of paper airplanes and dirty jokes. His boss a noted degenerate was usually not around so Lester and team were free to follow their research of the local vids.

AJ Lang Chemical Company was in talks with an Indian firm about studying the possibility of creating a new solution to India's problems with rats. For centuries most Indians considered the rat holy and were not harmed, therefore consuming the tons of food stocks they were trying to store. India's economy was picking up and people no longer worshiped their time-honored Gods but had switched to the dollar, so rats were now a problem that had to be dealt with. One rainy afternoon in Seattle Lester's boss stopped by to inform the team that they had a new assignment and to get cracking on it and do not contact him with details just find an answer. Their all-sinful leader did not explain the problem to them as a chemical solution but rather "find a way of getting rid of all the rats in India". Lester scratched his pants instead of his head as usual and went back to his vid.

There are times in history when problems have been solved by hard study and thinking, but mostly the solution of many of life's problems usually come from mistakes or just dumb luck. For Lester the latter was the only way possible. As he sat in front of his vid studying the mostly adolescent material the problem was solved. " Don't poison them give them birth control."

That year was pivotal for Lester and his career was finally on track. His team had come up with a male birth control for rats called suitably "Rat Poison" and the accolades were streaming in from all parts of the industry. AJ Lang had patented the discovery as an animal pharmaceutical and promoted Lester to Department Chief. Lester had gone back to his vids with even more gusto than before but it was to be short-lived. Seems during the study of effectiveness the AJ Lang Company reported the male rats had become more aggressive and larger. Their muscle mass had tripled and they were interested in eating and fighting only. They lived a normal life span but had no other interests other than themselves and seemed to attack anything that stood in their way of self. In fact it was not a birth control as much as it was a sexual suppressant, which needless to say solved the rat problem. Unfortunately like most great solutions to great problems mankind was finding not only benefits but also found ways to transform a miracle product into a nightmare.

Salt Lake was heating up, I had been nursing my lung long enough and I was getting homesick for the field. When you're in the field all you want to do is get back to base camp and relax but even relaxing can becoming boring. With my tag back I was in route to my unit. I had transport but it would have to divert far northeast to avoid Salt Lake. I had no more than reported in to headquarters when I was sent up North to join Lieutenant Simms and crew.

"Keys I am at the aft sensor and something's up."

"I am right behind you Lewis to your right, Lewis to your right, copy?"

"I see them, we are into it now, KEYS YOU ON ME??"

This is it, this is why veterans live and others don't, I have been here before and if Blondie hasn't this is her last day. Things slow down, you have to use this, it's disconcerting if you haven't felt this before, and it is my edge. I have always seen from behind my eyes during a fight, this I also know and can use, she is light and quick.

I can see Lewis over her left shoulder and in contact with another LICE; she has made the mistake of firing and hitting her target then moving in to make contact. Bruce is behind me but I can't look. My God she is attacking me front on, I heard one shot go by but she is too close and missed. No time to strip off the headgear, I have my knife in hand but my side is burning, she is good but small; I have her down. This is the hated part that my nightmares come from, I look down into her face from deep in my head, her headgear is gone she has short hair!!! Looks like we will have to find another name for them other than LICE.

My God she has outlined her eyes with black paint!! OH, I can't believe it why would she put black paint on her eyes; is it some kind of battle ceremony or blessings to the Gods? Why black outlining of the eyes? I can feel her breath...slow, the glassy eyes, and the weak calm and quiet sets in. My side is really burning she has killed me and I have killed her, she is shaking under me the gray is coming.

"Sergeant! Sergeant Keys!"

Noise, I can hear something perhaps this isn't over. The light filters in, the Lieutenant has given me a press inject of some kind of meds.

"Sergeant Keys the wound isn't bad, you with me?"

"Ah.."

"Sergeant Keys look over there to your right."

My eyes are focusing normally now and not in back as before. To my right Jenkins has killed one of them and pulled her over a fallen log and is crawling on top of her.... Why? I can only wonder.

"Keys that man has not been taking his meds and that is your responsibility"

"Yes Sir, I mean no!"

" I am going to kill him for that, Keys."

To the left I see Bruce falling holding his head and another LICE to his right.

"Behind you Simms!"

Jenkins should have picked that one up. What is he doing to the dead girl, my God she is alive he has one chance if I can get over there. The battlefield looks unreal; I am moving fast I hope Simms doesn't shoot me in the back by mistake. She is alive and Jenkins is on top of her with her back over the log bleeding from her shoulder and has lost most of her uniform she must have really gotten to him to make him this mad. Most of his utilities are torn, OH NO she must have kicked him, no wonder he is so mad. What in the world is he doing now?

"Keys I am going to kill you too for this, get that trooper off her now!"

I take a few shaky steps and I am on Jenkins he is wild eyed and I don't quite know why but he rolls into a ball and starts screaming. If I can distract the Lieutenant maybe he will think Jenkins is dead. I grab the girl she is very weak, this one I understand, one quick slice and the blood spurt. This one is no longer a problem. Small girl, I will dream of this one too.

"Sergeant Keys report."

"Jenkins keep quiet or the lieutenant will kill us both."

"Thanks Keys, I, I lost it. I am sorry man!"

"Just don't let the Lieutenant see you."

"Sergeant Keys I asked for a report!"

I start stammering, as always, the Lieutenant is 20 yards away and must not be able to see Jenkins.

" Bruce and Lewis have had it, looks like Carter took two with him (I would never have figured him for that) we have 2 or 3 moaners. Fillmore is struggling to hold on and looks like Jenkins is dead."

"Finish the moaners, I will check out Fillmore."

There is always a funny calm after a battle you seem to sense the security of being alive. This sight of combat is bad, the first LICE is bleeding from the back, a single shot and she is out. The second LICE is still coherent and upset. She should not have spit on me... that brings pain with death and the third is so scared she passes out. She is bleeding from the chest; I let this little one pass. Jenkins must be coming back to life he is crouching down by the log. The Lieutenant is busy with Fillmore so I make it over to Jenkins.

"Stay down if we pull out, follow us but whatever you do don't let the Lieutenant see you until we get a few clicks away understood?"

"I am sorry Keys I am!"

"Keys get over here!"

Simms has lost it and he has one of them by the hair; I think she is still alive but he has cut her several times and she is bleeding all over her uniform. Fillmore is dazed and medicated, he has lost his head gear and is bleeding from his eyes, looks like a shot blast to the face.

"Keys I am dragging this LICE back for interrogation what's the count?"

"All gone except Fillmore here. I figure one of them at least in the bush heading north if she makes contact we've had it. So perhaps you should just finish that LICE and......... "

I am getting sensor alarms from the northwest it's loud and getting louder. I look behind Simms to see one of them step out of the bush. She stares at me for what seems a long time. I have nothing left, I am spent. I don't like her eyes they are the eyes that have seen something they shouldn't have, she turns and is gone back into the bush.

"Lieutenant Simms I am getting alarms we have to go."

"Keys help Fillmore I will get the aft sensor then follow. DO YOU UNDERSTAND KEYS?"

"Yes sir I am heading south and my beacon is on. Good Luck Sir."

Fillmore is pretty far gone but mobile so all I have to do is keep him holding on to me as we go. As we passed Jenkins position I tell him to keep down and follow behind us a few clicks but watch for LICE. He understands and tells me that what the Lieutenant is doing to that poor LICE is beyond human and he is sick to his stomach, but he won't attract attention.

As we pass the forward sensor I grab it then turn south. Fillmore is moving strong but a little nutty from the meds and keeps saying "What have we done, what have we done?"

"Just remember Fillmore only I know, only I know."
**Day 308 1808** **ZEWT Steel ships and plastic men Memory Tape 2-B32**

At the end of the 19th century with the onset of photography, there were some American Plains Indians that believed if you took their picture it would take their soul; sometimes I think they were right. Standing here waiting for the Air -Porter to pick me up I stare at the pictures of 30 years of marriage, walls covered with times and people that were all so young. Of children that turned into irritating people that tailgate and push too hard at work for promotions they will never get. All framed neatly and dusted, a lifetime of care that within weeks will be put into neglected produce boxes and stored carelessly in the basement.

"I wish you weren't going Dad."

"It's for the best; you and your little family will have the house to yourselves."

"It shows just how bad things have gotten drafting old men back into the service. I understand half the U.S. Navy's ships are on the bottom of the gulf and they will be radioactive for 10 thousand years but still."

"It's not called the draft anymore its called Senior Recruitment."

"OK but what will you do, what can you do it's been years."

"Its not that hard riding a ship, besides we have arm patches that designate us Senior Volunteers, SVs so we can take naps, plus an orientation camp and physicals to make sure we won't die on them."

From what I understand the uniforms are the standard khaki but a relaxed fit. We are designated as "SV CWO", Senior Volunteer Chief Warrant Officers, meaning we aren't enlisted or officers, which also means we don't give orders just follow them, I hope. The Navy is desperate for enlisted guys that left the service and stayed in the same field or trade to man the old carriers. For me that was communications in the Navy and then the phone company. I was on a Carrier when I was active and I suspect with the loss of so many that's where I will end up again. I just hope its not one they are dragging out of mothballs at Bremerton.

"It's here Dad. First mom dies now you're leaving."

"Paul things will work out just stay busy with work"

Air-porters always give me the feeling that I have forgotten something; halfway to the airport you give up the worry and relax but this time is different. So many feelings this time, mostly of freedom and déjà vu. I will be happy when I am settled. My mood is like a good dream.... the ones you wake up to find yourself thinking about the rest of the day. You keep thinking that if just one small incident in your life had changed your whole life would have been so different. If the Navy recruiter would have been out to lunch and I went into the Army my life today would not resemble my reality.

They have been working on the Sea Tac Airport for 50 years and still it smells like mildew. The same people all with that look about them, frantic and bored at the same time. I remember as a child coming here with my Dad, the airport was smaller with one big room like a plane hanger affair. There were lots of soldiers from Ft. Lewis, all milling around, some with their pants tucked into their boots and a few white hat Sailors. Mostly they were soldiers with bored looks and green uniforms, the Elvis Generation. You sometimes saw a knot of them all crowded around one WAC; her face lit up with the attention she was getting.

"Sir this area is for military personnel only."

"That's me son sorry I couldn't fit into my old uniform."

"Do you have orders Sir?"

"Yep."

"SV, you need to go to Gate 53."

"Thanks."

"SV" why does that sound so disgusting coming out of that Jar Head. The waiting area is a little cramped full of the same soldiers I remember as a child. This time though the knot is all women and the men are finding creative ways of not making eye contact. It's like an Orwell book everyone thinking one thing and saying the opposite when asked. Even after what's happened over the last few years people are still following the doctrine set out by only God knows who. I see a few Gray Hairs but I figure they are in the same boat as I am and don't really feel like talking about it. They announce the San Diego flight boarding, and as if by second thought announced, "all SVs to the rear of the plane." The bathroom must be at the rear I think. The pilot didn't waste any time taking off and I did get a nap, even though I fought it.

The San Diego Airport was different this time around, no "toes on the curb, eyes straight ahead and keep your hole shut!" The gray bus did collect us as it had so many years before for the lonely trip to the base. There wasn't any talking this time either but for different reasons. It was a sunny September day in San Diego and it felt familiar like finding an old pair of jeans tucked away in my closet that still fit.

R&O (Receiving & Outfitting) was different this time, no yelling but still a lot of standing on your yellow spot waiting for someone to tell you what to do next. The smell was the same as I always remembered, the R&O smell is one of those things you will never forget a mixture of mothballs, new clothes and corrosion inhibitors. The next day we formed up on our little yellow spots. We tried to act like we could remember how to march but it didn't work very well. Breakfast was not too bad but I didn't eat a lot, nerves I guess and I didn't sleep much either. After chow we formed up again and waited. As I looked around in the morning sunrise I could see the differences this time around. Seems gravity had done its job and moved most fat to our collective stomachs and the loss of hair was epidemic, most of us were in "civies".... it was not a reassuring sight. As Luck would have it my genetics had left me a little gray haired, thinning but I still need to comb it. I had shrunk (at least that's what the corpsman said) an inch to 5 foot 9 and 160 pounds and thanks to my wife's love for walking and bike riding most of my weight wasn't around my waist.

For the next week we spent time getting new uniforms and barracks assignments, some "Welcome Aboard" orientation and blisters on our feet from new shoes. We got a lot of physicals and I don't think they left one part of us untouched, mostly prostate exams, heart and lung scans. They looked at me funny a few times but I passed. We lost about a third of our group that week. I did find that one part of my anatomy was still in working order as many of the medical staff were young women and quite pretty.

The next few weeks we spent the mornings at SV orientation and afternoons and evenings updating our specific occupations. I liked most of the guys in our section as we had a lot in common and like the first time around came from all over the country. There were some that hated it and wanted out and some that wanted to go out with their boots on. For me I just wanted a shore station and treat the whole thing like a job. I really didn't have anything else to do but I felt for the guys who were still married with grandkids and all, it must have been hard for them as they had a life. There were several WAVES in our group and they were billeted someplace on base, they keep pretty much to themselves and seemed a little standoffish to me.

On the 8th week we got our orders and as usual some were happy, some were not, I was devastated. Orders were to report to the newly re-commissioned USS Carl Vinson, CVN 70, Home Port Norfolk, VA. Not only was it some old rust bucket built in the 1970s but it was on the east coast in Norfolk, VA "Dogs and Sailors stay off the grass." I tried my best to get out of it but the Navy wasn't budging so I figured I would report to the ship then try to cross deck (a transfer to the relief carrier) after its first deployment, probably to the Med. I have never made a Mediterranean cruise being a west coast fleet sailor and wasn't to excited about it. I figured everything wrong with the U.S. started on the east coast and as far as I was concerned they could split the country right down the middle, pull the east coast out to the mid Atlantic and sink it people and all.

On a drizzly Sunday in Norfolk, VA I reported to the naval base to find out the old tub Chuckie V was out on CARQUALS. I reported to the Transit Barracks and at the front desk I signed in for a room as it would be a week before the ship returned. There was a nice young JG at the desk and she gave me a chow pass for the Officers mess and a room assignment. She also called somone to show me the way to my room and as I sat in the lounge with a sore throat the most attractive shapely blond who looked about 12 years old strolled up.

"You Lenz?"

"Yep."

"Follow me."

Now there are all kinds of jokes about follow me or walk this way and I thought of most of them as we climbed two flights of stairs, but when we got to the room all I could say was "Thanks, See you around."

"You will." She replied.

I stuffed my gear in the locker and went to find the Officers Mess, I should have asked the guide but I just couldn't, I felt like 12 myself. I asked around and found dinner it was nice, roast beef and the best chocolate cake I had eaten all week. All my life I have been a sucker for chocolate cake and women in uniform, the evening was getting better. Looking around I could see a lot of women in the Officers Mess; it was about half and half and again the men were trying their best to be aloof. Truly the biggest adjustment I was going to have to make was fighting a war next to a female shipmate. I have always worked with women some good at their job and some not, same as men, but these young women were something I was not used to. War, ships and drunken sailors it just seems so out of place for young attractive girls.

I woke up at 7 a.m. the next morning with a full on cold, fever, headache the whole bit. I managed a shower, dressed and headed downstairs to find the sickbay. I stopped at the front desk expecting the young JG but instead found a "Mr. Smarty Pants" Ensign.

"You Lenz?"

"I, Chief Warrant Officer Lenz."

"Yeh, well I got a message for you, from Lt. Commander Stevens.

By the way your old enough to be Stacy's Great Granddad!"

"And you are old enough to be my son, so."

"Yeh, well Lt. Commander Stevens wants to see you ASAP in his office."

"Got a guide to show me the way?"

"Just go to the left when you get outside and it's building 4A."

Some things never change but at least I know Stacy's first name and made an enemy. I managed to find the Sick Bay and waited in line for an hour. The doctor was a good guy and we talked for a long time about how things have changed, he wasn't considered an SV but was a retread going active after the attack. He was in the Reserves and lost two good friends when they sunk the U.S.S. Gerald R. Ford. The next month when the other Carriers were lost he was able to go on active duty. He gave me a prescription for some cold medication.

"OK, before you go drop your pants."

"How many times are we going to do this?"

"Have they checked your prostate recently?"

"Yeh, but go ahead it seems to make everyone happy."

"Any problems getting it up?"

"Not last night."

"Last night?"

"Just kidding these new female sailors are quite attractive."

"You shouldn't be so shy, from what you have said I would suggest you are behaving normally, loosen up and quit looking back, it would be good for you."

"I know an Ensign that wouldn't think so."

The pills helped, I took them before I left Sickbay. I would like to think the Doc's right about what he said but I still have this inner conflict and I need time. I found Lt. Commander Stevens' office and reported. I figured he would be a little put out because I stopped at Sickbay, but he was more upset that I would give him a cold, so I stayed way back in his office and just listened. He said the ship was having problems and would be longer than expected, like 2 or 3 more weeks. I groaned he smiled.

"Look Stan, I went over your records and frankly we need you bad. I understand it's been awhile but you can really help once you get used to the way we are doing things now."

"I am trying but these Sailors today......I mean well it's an age thing I guess."

"No it's a sex thing you guess. Look Stan most of these gals are mad as hell about the attacks and believe me they can and will take care of themselves."

"You're right commander, it's just hard for me."

"Stan, one will take you aside and explain it all I am sure, they are not shy, just stay within the rules and you will get along fine."

Because of the time delay and crowding on the base, each ship was allotted five Officer apartments off base so the Commander sent me to his Yeoman for assignment. He was a nice guy and said the Commander was a good guy even though he was an Airedale. He told me there were two people per apartment and I would be with someone named Cummings and then drew me a map and called for transportation. I knew a guy named Cummings once and hoped it wasn't him. When transport dropped me off I climbed the stairs to 2B, a corner apartment, I kept thinking of last night and Lieutenant Stacy climbing the barracks stairs. The card key worked, no one seemed to be in 2B and the pills were making me hungry. Perhaps it was the medication, but looking out over the harbor I could swear I had done this before it seemed so strange. I was a bit disappointed that I could not eat lunch at the Officers Mess and perhaps get another look at Stacy but that's life.

I make a good pizza and since there was a grocery store across the street I picked up the fixings and some beer from a clerk that could barley count and retired to my new home. I dug out my special jar of olives and made the pizza. It was good but it made me sleepy so I figured a SV nap was in order and went to my room, made my bunk and crashed. Around 7 p.m. I awoke to some noise in the kitchen and decided to go introduce myself. Upon opening the door and looking in the kitchen I saw someone bending over looking into the refrigerator and it wasn't the Cummings I knew. She had on black stretch pants and stood up startled when she heard me.

"You Lenz?"

"I, Chief Warrant Officer Lenz."

"Ok, you make this Pizza?"

"Yep its my specialty my only specialty."

"We are going to get along Lenz."

" Stan."

"Ok Stan I'm Holly."

"Can it be that we are boy and girl roommates?"

"That Ok with you Stan?"

"You dating any Ensigns Holly?"

"No."

"We are going to get along Cummings."

We sat and talked, picked the pizza apart and had a beer or two until midnight or "All Balls" as they say in the Navy. Lt. Holly Cummings was a cutie, a petite little brunette that had a smile that could light up a room and liked and understood my humor, she is a keeper roommate. She did have a problem I found unusual; she was attached to the ship okay but had some kind of a problem that caused her to suffer from seasickness so they used her as a Shore Liaison Officer. The new Navy I guess, she watched out for dependents and took care of ship business when it was out of port. She had a boyfriend on the ship working in engineering and it sounded pretty serious. I warned her about "pretty girls shouldn't talk to sailors" but she laughed it off. I went to bed and slept until quarters in the morning.

Quarters were held in front of the building where Commander Stevens' office was, he was there along with a few other officers milling around, and it worked for me. After Quarters he asked how I was feeling and sent me back to the apartment to get some sleep or to get away from him. I am not sure which since I was coughing a lot.

The next week was a cloud of meaningless standing or sitting around the office. I was feeling better but started to feel like everyone was looking at me. The one thing you try to avoid in the Navy is looking like you need something to do. The next week I found the COMSTA and asked the Commander if I could pick up and deliver the fleet messages coming in and going out for the ship. The yeoman was glad to give up this particular duty so I started my career as a messenger with plenty of freedom. I found an old bicycle and spent the rest of the week riding around the base; I was again free. I stopped for lunch at the Officers Mess and as usual it was great food. You have to "Belong to the Mess" meaning you have to pay up monthly, something I was not used to as an enlisted man so I just paid for each lunch, I was a "SV"you see. Holly and I usually just fixed something for dinner in the apartment and then watched TV or went to the base movie, but at lunch we went to the Officer's Mess.

I was doing pretty well by the end of the second week. I had lunch with Holly and guess whom...Stacy and some of their friends. I picked up on a bunch of gossip and started to feel like I fit in until I looked around the room and saw the rest of the boys looking at me with perplexed expressions, but who could blame them. I rode around the base on my bicycle, picked up a few weather reports from the Message Center and talked to a cute crypto custodian daily about her Mom's ailments in Ohio. Commander Stevens was right about these Sailors they were good at what they did and they told you upfront if you were crossing the line. I liked them because they didn't treat me like a dad or big brother. It was a strange relationship, we talked about some pretty risqué things and I got the feeling they like to see me blush but I just looked at my shoes and they giggled.

On Monday of the third week I came home to find Holly crying and upset, seems her engineer boy friend was cutting her lose. I have heard of and myself received Dear John letters but it's usually from shore to ship not ship to shore, an email how crude. We talked for a while and then went in search of some chocolate. I really felt sorry for her she was so upset. I got her to bed around 1 a.m. and dropped into my own bed. All the bicycling and gossiping took its toll, as I was asleep before my head hit the pillow. The next day she was very quiet getting ready for work and I made a big mistake of telling her I understood and was here if she needed me.

"What do you mean by _if I need you_?"

"Holly I am very fond of you and will do whatever it takes to pick up your spirits."

"Thanks Stan, I understand."

"Just think, time it takes time."

Well I guess I underestimated the time because that night she found a way that I could help her. For 30 years I was always close to my wife and we always had that to fall back on no matter what, but Holly had other ideas about a relationship. Riding that bike around all day was helping my physical endurance and that night I needed it; she was very young and very curious. The next morning she seemed to sense that I was uncomfortable about last night, I was not quite sure what to say.

"Thanks for being with me last night Stan."

"Holly I don't know what to say, naturally I enjoyed it but I am not sure of our relationship now."

"Are we still friends?"

"Always Holly no matter what."

"Friends help each other out, yes?"

"Yes."

I felt a little awkward at lunch but everyone else was in high spirits. I had the feeling they were all in on our little secret so I just acted like everything was the same. About midday I was talking to Lt. Crypto when it occurred to me, "Hey stupid, young girls get pregnant". Oh no, for 20 years I had never worried about this because after our last child was born my wife had a procedure done so we didn't have to worry. This is great, how foolish could I be. I rode my bike a lot that day and in the evening after dinner I tried to approach the subject.

"Say Holly ah... how was the Pizza?"

"Great as always what's the secret?"

"It's the olives I ship them in from Italy, you can't get them in the states."

"How can I get some?"

"I will order you some. Holly we didn't take any precautions last night."

"Worried?"

"Well yes I feel so foolish I know better."

"Not to worry, I kept up with the pills because I didn't know when the ship would pull in but now that I have been dumped I guess I could stop."

"Well maybe we should think about that."

The next day was cold and rainy but I was in good spirits and found a raincoat and rode that bike through puddles like a kid. It was a great life, lunch with the girls, nights with Holly, base movies and even Stacy was treating me like forbidden fruit. On Friday of the fourth week it all came to an end. At quarters we were informed the ship had emergency orders to the Med and was not going to return home. I figured after all the pain of the last few years God was finally smiling on me but it was not to be.

"Chief Warrant Officer Lenz you are to proceed to Florida the last port of call and report to the ship tomorrow. The rest of us will be flown aboard over the next few days."

Lucky me. Holly cried, I cried, everyone in the world was crying. I went to my room and got the other jar of the special olives I was saving and packed up my gear. We couldn't stay home so we called Stacy and some other friends and hit the beach for dinner. We had a big steak supper all around, I am not sure what I was celebrating but it beat being on base or in the apartment. Holly was warm that night and not too talkative, I was thankful. Before I left I presented Holly with the olives. A Seaman picked me up early the next morning and got me to the flight line before I was told of the change. I was to take the COD to the ship. This was the second time I have trapped aboard and I wasn't looking forward to it.

The sights and smells of an underway Carrier are something you don't forget easily but your mind has a way of forgetting the bad. As I followed the seaman through the maze of passageways to the Communications Division offices I started to remember how bad it was. I started getting a little panicky as the fun and games were over and it was "Showtime" I had forgotten my lines. As the guide pointed me to the end of the passage way and the Division's offices, I saw a small figure heading my way looking a bit disheveled. As she passed looking straight ahead I saw the white smock and medical insignia, now that's interesting I thought. I knocked and proceeded into the division office compartment; it was around noon and there was someone in the interoffice clearing his desk, he yelled.

"Everyone's at chow."

"I'll just wait if it's Okay I am checking in."

The lieutenant looked at me through the open hatch and I wasn't what he expected. His expression dropped and I could see I wasn't what he wanted to see.

"Oh an SV."

"Yep."

"Commander Lynch should be back in a few minutes."

"Ok if I wait?"

"I guess, you don't have anywhere else to go."

"No that would be right, I am Chief Warrant Officer Lenz how are you?"

"Oh sorry, Lieutenant Mike Sweeny, you reporting aboard?"

"Yep."

"You're the first SV we've had in the division. Everything is a mess and we just keep finding things wrong. CarrQuals are not going well, now we are deployed, it's all a mess."

The Lieutenant seemed to be a good kid but I think I caught him and his girlfriend in some kind of mischief. He went back to cleaning up and I just sat. The same old haze gray, that is what I forgot, the sameness of everything no colors just the same depressing day after day routine of being at sea. Flight Ops day after day on the line, punctuated by a fire once in awhile to speed up your heart rate; the same weather the same food the same people. I had forgotten.

"You Lenz?"

"Yes sir I, Chief Warrant Officer Lenz!"

"I am Commander Lynch step into my office."

"I knew you were coming, you're an old RM so you know the drill."

"It's all coming back like a bad dream I am afraid, but I know what you mean."

"You had lunch yet?"

"No Sir."

"I will have Lt. Sweeny take you to the Ward Room and give you a quick look around, get something to eat."

"That would be great."

"When the tour is over I will have you sit down with Lt. Commander Collens he will get you squared away with an assignment."

"Good."

"A word of advice, I didn't say this but Collens is a bit of a ass, don't take too much off him. The XO is a big advocate of you SVs so you hold more cards then you may think."

"Understood. Thank You Commander."

I guess things have changed in the Navy, I figure with the things they have to do to get this rust bucket ready candor is the best policy but still. Sweeny showed me around, it's best to know how to get from Main Com to the Ward Room and back, if you can find your way to work and sleep and eat the rest you learn on the fly. There was a lot to learn things had changed, new designations for different divisions and parts of the ship. I still called things as I remembered them and that brought some funny looks. There were no flight ops so things were a little relaxed but I got a sense of deployment blues in the crew. After lunch (the dessert was a good cheesecake) we went back to meet LTCMDR Collens.

"You Lenz?"

"I, Chief Warrant Officer Lenz."

"Welcome aboard Lenz. I have been looking over your records here you're a bit out of date, I haven't decided about you SVs yet. I am not sure of what use you will be."

"Well I have come to help. I have worked with a lot of the same type of equipment you're using except for the Crypto gear and I don't see a lot of difference in it."

"Says here you have been through a refresher school."

"That's correct some of the off the shelf IC Telephony equipment I helped design. I was an Equipment Software Engineer before I retired."

"I think I will start you off slow...how about Morale Officer?"

"I am a W2 Warrant Officer meaning technical advice and operation not an Ensign."

"I think it best you start out slow and.............."

"I will be on the watch schedule by Eight O'clock reports tonight. I will be assigned to equipment and will be on call for any equipment problems that may arise. The operational personnel will include me in any equipment update discussions and or repairs. I will be addressed as Chief Warrant Lenz and will assume the watch when need be. I will also keep an eye on morale. Now if there is nothing else I need to get down to personnel and sick bay to check in."

That went well I thought. By the time I got out of there a Steward was hauling my gear to my compartment, that left me time to check into personnel and drop off my medical records. I decided to try to find Sick bay first. The Carl Vincent (Nimitz-Class) was a different class of ship than the one I was on before the JFK. The John F. Kennedy was considered a bastard Kitty Hawk-class set up as a nuke but built with conventional power. There are some similarities but mostly I walked around asking questions and being pointed in this direction and that to find my way around, everyone was polite but no one wants to help a new guy. By the time I got to sickbay I was a hot and tired. I found a corpsman that tried to explain it was not time for sick call.

"I am checking in, here is my medical record disk, bye bye."

"Hold it! Hold it!"

"Wait here you need a check in exam, all the SVs get them."

I tried to explain to the corpsman that I wasn't in too good of a mood and that anyone that needed to give me a prostrate exam would have to let me give them one first. He looked a little scared and ran away I sat down and started the wait.

"Dr. West, I have a SV checking in and here's his record disk."

"Hold it corpsman right there. I am the doctor I will tell you what to do."

"Yes Ma'am."

"Where is he?"

"Waiting there."

"Whoa he's cute... doesn't look that old either!"

I decided to cool down and as I looked down the hall I could see the corpsman talking to a rather nice looking older doctor, I would guess her to be in her mid 40s. Perhaps I should just cool off it isn't like I have anything else to do and I have been fed. All the services are hurry up and wait so the Navy is still no different.

"Maybe Doctor but he is a bit hot I mean mad."

"I wonder why, where is Dr Morgan I think this one is hers?"

"Right behind you and she has been on a rampage all morning."

"Oh Dr. Morgan, could you please check this SV in I have a splitting headache."

"Give me that disk, were is the old fart."

As I look down the hall I could see a quick handoff of my record disk to a teenage doctor from her elder sister, this is not going to be good. This doctor looks familiar.

"Follow me Lenz.

Okay pops, you get a prostate exam drop them."

"I know how you all like to give these exams but I just had one only 20 minutes ago."

"You giving me trouble Warrant Officer?"

"Congratulations you are the first person that has called me Warrant Officer you must have gotten your commission and medical degree in the Philippines."

"Stanford."

"Same. Same."

"That's it Lenz you're in trouble."

"People that hurry down passage ways fixing their smocks and covering up that cute little tattoo are not ones to report trouble."

"This exam is over!"

"Thank you doctor."

When I was in high school I told an old girl friend of mine that I had found out what she had done last weekend. I am not sure why because I didn't really know, but it sounded good. She turned red and every time I saw her after that she reminded me not to say anything. This was just about the same thing but it was a good gamble because a lot of people have cute little tattoos in places no one sees except a sweet Lieutenant.

I dropped off my records at Personnel and asked about cross decking, meaning a transfer to the incoming relief carrier. They did have a list of people that were willing to stay on station and added my name. I also asked them to put it down that the carrier has to be home ported on the west coast, if they did, who knows. I proceeded to find my way back to my bunk and get my gear squared away then went to chow. I slept well that night counting how many people I have pissed off and how things would go from here.

After a week of standing watches and meeting everyone I was getting a handle of what was going on and where I was going to fit in. I was the only Communications WO so it looked to me I was free to set the standard until someone else showed up. The junior officers were standoffish and the enlisted men ran for cover every time I came into Main Com, the Chiefs just shrugged. The next Friday I asked for an audience with Commanders Lynch and Collens. I laid out my plan for them and they approved, Collens was a political bastard and I knew he would go along with anything Lynch agreed to. I took myself off the watch schedule in Main Com and the IC equipment rooms and added myself to working 1600 to 0400. I would set up equipment routines and assign them to the enlisted Techs via the Watch Chiefs, and coordinate between departments to get things fixed, added or updated. I wanted to control repair and additions of the equipment that way I could work independently and set my own hours and time off etc. The shift supervisors were to inform me ASAP anytime of the day or night about all major equipment outages and I would assist in the task of repair. I figured they would not go along with this but they agreed much to my surprise. In this way I had my hands on the gear but still not completely responsible, I was still kind of on the fence.

I knew from experience that none of the officers knew anything about hands-on electronics even the ones with EE degrees. The chiefs had forgotten most of what they knew; leaving the enlisted guys the ones to work with. I knew my business, I wasn't a Central Office Equipment Tech for 15 years for nothing, and I know my trade. There was a lot of new equipment to learn but I knew that the only real way to learn is hands on.

I liked a lot of the enlisted people they are always the same, some good some bad, some smart some dumb and some will work some won't. My biggest challenge was to work with the ETs they actually did the repair and adds. In the ET department they also had a WO SV and he was pretty busy so I smiled and told him it was important we worked together. He agreed and left it at that, meaning as long as no one complains I had a free hand. I was having a problem with the enlisted women as they did mostly clerical duties in Main Com and Crypto, but still I had to include them as the repairs and maintenance information became available. There was one first class that seemed on the ball and I leaned on her pretty hard. First Class Lopez wasn't letting me in on any of their secrets, but I told her if I get close to the edge please let me know and she said she would. As repayment I included her in a lot of technical discussions and signed off on a request for a B school she wanted. Her dad owned an Auto repair shop where she worked part time during high school; she was used to getting dirty, I liked her. The ETs were a little harder to get close to but they were all Gear heads like my youngest son. He and I had rebuilt an old '68 Nova and had a lot of fun doing it. I had some pictures of it and some of the ETs and I talked about compression ratios and electronic ignitions and after a few stories they figured I was part of the club and kept me informed of what was going on.

Christmas came and went and just after the holiday I got the welcome aboard interview with the XO. He seemed sincere and eager to get into the fight. He was big on experience; he knew there was a difference between school and dirty hands so we got along. He was impressed as to what duties I had set up for myself and how it was going. Commander Lynch had given him a briefing on my wanderings and he liked how it was coming together. As I was leaving he stopped me.

"One more thing Stan we are real proud of our medical department, they do a great job and I don't like them upset."

"I will apologize today."

"Good!"

I figured that was coming and seeing as how things were coming together so nicely I decided to head that way and talk to Dr. Morgan. It was the day after Christmas and the ship had been at sea for weeks and we're scheduled to put into port, Naples, Italy around Dec 29th just in time for New Years. I strolled into sickbay around 1500, no one seemed around, I spotted Dr. Morgan sipping on some coffee and reading someone's chart.

"Dr. Morgan I wonder if I could talk to you."

"Sick Call is at 1600."

"I was wrong a few weeks ago when I checked in and I want to apologize."

She turned and looked me in the eye she had beautiful brown eyes. I had asked around about her and found out she was a poor Puerto Rican kid from Philly and was smart enough to push some buttons and get the Navy to pay for medical school in exchange for a 6 year obligation. She had worked her fanny off and was on her way to private practice when the attack came. She was on shore leave and re-upped for 4 more years on the spot and volunteered for carriers, she was OK.

"This isn't a game Lenz."

" The name is Stan."

"Sit, open that blouse and cough.

Heart sounds good. Lungs clear.

Blood pressure is a little high must be from the apology.

We will issue you a RAD badge today so don't loose it. If we get into a hot zone you will have to have it on all the time even in your bunk understood?"

"Yes."

"Take this down for a blood draw. What's your cholesterol like?"

"Around 200 it varies with my diet"

"I want you in every quarter got me?"

"Yes Doctor."

"They have low cholesterol meals for SVs, you do know that?"

"Yes."

"You don't need two desserts either, like I've seen you take."

"Yes Ma'am"

"I'm not kidding Lenz."

"Does this mean you except my apologize?"

"Reluctantly Yes."

"Does this mean we're engaged?"

"No it means I adopted you."

"Thanks Doctor."

"Ruth."

Except for the blood draw, that was painless, it's kind of a relief to have someone looking out for my health and I figured she would even if it kills me. On the way to the lab I bumped into Dr. West. She was more attractive than I remembered and had a quiet calmness that was quite appealing.

"You been a good boy lately Lenz?"

"Never."

"Did we apologize to Ruth?"

"Yes but she still wouldn't marry me."

"You had better find someone more your own age."

As I was leaving sickbay I also looked up the corpsman from the first day. I asked him where Dr. West went when the ship was in port or if she did. He said he didn't know so I told him if he found out to look me up in Main Com and there would be 50 bucks in it for him.

Two days later we were in port Naples where I spent the afternoon hooking up T1 shorelines to the switch. I had never done this before and it was interesting trying to interpret the language. I took a lot of notes and the chief in charge gave me a lot of pointers working with the locals, I saw room for improvement. The next day I caught up on some sleep and decided to hit the beach. I like my own company so I was off the brow at 1600 trying to find a cab when my friend the corpsman showed up.

"Dr. West usually goes to a country western place with her friends."

"Do you know where?"

"The club is called Western Sky any cabby should know where, it's small. I normally wouldn't do this but I need the money."

"Poker game?"

"No I have a girl here and her mom's sick. She wants to go see her, its about 2 hours away and she doesn't have the money so..........."

"Here's the 50 bucks..... is her mom in Manila?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"It's an old WestPac joke. It's John isn't it? Look John you're a nice guy but not everyone in this world is like you, here's another 100 go with her."

I figure I would check out Naples, find a place to sit and listen to some music. I received a little portable MP3 Player for Dad's day a several years back and I loaded it up with the songs that meant something to me. I like it, I can get lost in myself. I wasn't too impressed with Naples; it's like most ports you have to get away to really see anything but sailors. Around 1900 I found the Western Sky a little place on a back street and sure enough there was Dr. West and the gang. The band took a break and I asked one of them if I could plug my MP3 into their amp to play one song "he speak no English" but for some reason he knew what a 50-dollar bill spoke and he did his magic. I waited until the song started.

"Do Doctors Dance?"

"Why Mr. Lenz, yes they do."

My wife got caught up in crazy fads and once it was country western dancing. They called it the Tush Push and all that line dancing stuff. I preferred slow dances and we got pretty good at it. Dr West was willing but stiff. I told her this song was popular in the 1970's and that I liked retro music. A lot of people recorded it but the writer/singer was from Spokane, Washington and was a one hit wonder. She said she remembered it and also liked retro and got closer and warmer. After the dance I sat with her and the group nursing a warm beer, they were blowing off a lot of steam and around 2100 I told Margaret it was my bedtime. She whispered she had a place for the night so we made up some excuse about finding dinner and left...we didn't go to dinner. Around midnight I got up to go to the bathroom, Margaret was sleeping but woke up.

"You're all alike, please leave."

"I was just going to the head."

"I am not going to ask you again, leave!"

I wasn't sure why she was so upset, minutes earlier she seemed happy. I took it the wrong way and stormed out. Luckily I kept my mouth shut. I found a cab around 0100 and headed back to the ship, it was a bit-embarrassing coming aboard at that time of night. I decided to forget it and pretend that night didn't happen.

Five days later we were at sea on station and Flight Ops were a daily routine. I made a point of avoiding sickbay. I had about two months left before the quarter ended and I figured I need all that time for everyone to cool off, although I still don't know what she thought I was doing that night in Naples. Sometimes I went with a few of the enlisted men to work on the antennas on the starboard side of the ship. I like to stand on the Starboard side catwalk and watch the ship UNREP with supplies and fuel. Sometimes I thought I saw the white smock but then it disappeared into one of the hatches. I figured I wasn't going to be able to wait the three months for another of Ruth's physicals. After about a month on station we pulled into port, Taranto, Italy for a few days. I hit the beach by myself again and I liked it better than Naples. I stopped at a small open air shop and got a bottle of beer, when I turned around I was staring down at Dr. Ruth Morgan and I am quite sure I saw venom in her brown eyes.

"We have to talk."

"I am sorry Ruth, I have not been looking forward to this"

"Lets hear it!"

"Will you listen or is your mind made up?"

"What if it is, you hurt Margaret."

"Why is it American women put a value on love, sex, beauty? Like it's a commodity that you can trade and sell, something to dissect and sell off bit by bit. Why can't Love be what it is between two people without all the head games?"

"Well if we do it's because we learned from masters like you."

It was hard to argue with that, I explained my side as carefully as I could and I must have made my point because I saw her eyes soften. The little shop had some tables out front for food and of course wine. The weather was cool and clear but if you sat in the sun it was pleasant.

"Ruth you have to sit with me and talk about this, I am really fond of Margaret and I don't know what to do."

"Not now."

"Please Ruth, I don't know what to do and I will buy you lunch and a glass of wine."

" Damn Sailors!"

I was surprised at just how articulate and warm Ruth was to me, we talked, ate cheese and bread. She enjoyed two glasses of wine and kept reminding me to go light on the cheese. I talked about some of my life and Norfolk. Ruth was one of those good listeners that you seem to spill all the beans to so I was careful of just what I said. When she opened up about Margaret I did get an ear full. Seems Ruth wanted to get out of the service because she did not want to end up like Margaret. I remarked life wasn't so bad in the Navy and she unloaded me. I saw her point she wanted security and a single loving relationship not just a few months a year or a few hours a week but a family and the Navy did not supply that. Her eyes grew cold and remarked "especially these days." She said she often wondered about the way things are or if our world would ever be the same, if anyone could laugh and look forward to a future. I kept probing to see if I could get a definitive answer as to why Margaret acted the way she did in Naples and what I could say or do.

"You're a smart guy Stan, if you could figure out how to see my tattoo you can figure this out."

"Well... I didn't actually see the tattoo."

"What do you mean?"

" I haven't seen your tattoo I just said I had, what is it of?"

"That's a surprise."

"Will you show it to me on our wedding night?"

"Thanks for lunch Lenz, I will see you on board."

As she walked away she stopped, looked back at me and said:

"We all make decisions with our lives, some good some bad and some we regret but we all have to live with those decisions and Margaret is no different. CU Stan."

With a quick twirl of her skirt she was gone leaving me to wonder if it was that Margaret had at one time enjoyed the Navy and the attention that was paid to her by the sailors. I wondered if she was like the WAC I remembered in the airport surrounded by soldiers all showering her with fleeting attention. I made a resolution with myself to try to see Margaret again in private and see if we could come to some solution but doing so would be difficult. I had to find a way of seeing her on the catwalk, just her and me; it was the best place to talk if flight ops weren't going on.

The next line period was the same flight ops, midnight meals and small equipment problems. You don't really sleep you just zone out wake up and do it all the same again. Day after day it goes on, the 1MC squawks church services in the hanger bay at 0800 and you think its Sunday? All days seem the same. I try to walk the flight deck when Flight Ops were not going on to get some exercise. You can see the faithful organizing a jog, what fools, but no Margaret or Ruth just the same faces the same uniforms the same expressions. Some smuggle booze aboard some dope but it doesn't last and you sink into the hole of work, sleep, eat, day in day out. Some jobs are port and starboard shifts that change mids, eves, days for weeks at a time, nothing changes. The Navy does try to feed everyone well and change the menu, but after awhile it all seems like the same, little spices all cooked with the same utensils and by the same cooks on all the same dishes day after day.

After 40 days we pulled into Naples again we are pretty beat up, we have lost four planes and two pilots. One Jet landed directly into the fantail killing one pilot and two sailors. One poor bastard was so tired he forgot about the C2's prop and it killed him dead after throwing him into the deck without half his head. There seemed to be a suicide too, as they kept calling for a Seaman Wilson to report to the Master at Arms shack.........when it goes on for two days someone has stepped off the boat. I slept for 24 hours straight and received the Rip Van Winkle award, I felt groggy but better. How a man of my age can sustain this is hard to believe. This time I didn't hit the beach and that worried me I was falling into some kind of depression and I didn't want to tell Ruth or it's the first "Greyhound" out to the states. I did set up the landlines to the ship and that was getting easier. I made sure everyone I worked around got off the boat to get a beer or two.

By the time you get used to being in port they announce sea and anchor detail, it starts again and you think to yourself how am I going to handle this again. Before we got to the line I received an email from Stacy. Holly and I had passed emails ever since I left and it was one thing that brightens up my days. I figured it would be nice to correspond with Stacy too and that may help. When I opened the email there were problems. Seems Holly had taken sick and at first Stacy thought she was pregnant so they decided to try the home test kit. Stacy said it was negative so they took Holly to Sick Bay. After three days in the hospital she got some of her strength back but they were having a problem identifying just what the problem was. She had included many medical terms but I didn't understand them. I was alarmed at the ending "PRAY FOR HOLLY". A few days later I was back to the same day in day out routine. I sent Stacy back a reply and sent Holly an email to see how she was feeling.

Around two weeks into this line period we got word we would be leaving the line early because our relief carrier was ahead of schedule. We still needed some repairs so this was a few months away I figured. I was busy with an equipment network line frame Add to the IC switch. They had added it in Naples and there were problems. It powered up Okay and I was trying to take it easy as we had plenty of time to do the work and didn't need the extra frame anyway. On the second night we started to take recoveries on the main switch and lost communications with the all the network line frames and down it went. We informed the bridge and CMDR Lynch. In a few minutes the room filled with people like someone had opened a hatch below the water line, we had no internal ship communications. I have been through these kinds of emergencies before but your heart is in your throat and it's hard to think clearly. Lynch showed up half awake asking questions. I had cornered the ET Warrant and he didn't have that much experience in this type of switch so it was my show; I consulted Lynch then asked for everyone's attention.

"The Bridge has reported a list to Port because of all the people in this compartment."

That brought some laughs but I could tell some didn't think it funny.

"We need to clear the compartment with all but myself and the following people."

I had made up a list quickly and read off the names.

"Please, everyone else please report to the ward room and we will keep CMDR Lynch up to date with our progress. "I expect limited service in about 2 hours."

That got some groans but they all left and I knew they all wanted some coffee so the Ward Room seemed the ideal place. I told everyone remaining this was the drill, we are going to isolate the new line frame and power it down then we would try to boot the main switch and see if we could communicate with it. If we could we would force out the other four network frames and try to stabilize the switch. If that worked we will start turning up the network frames one at a time. So for the next few hours we managed with some luck to get one network frame up, the switch was still shaky and was about an hour behind on the ROP. Of course the frame that was up did not include the phones in the Ward Room, bridge or officers county, I couldn't have planned it better. After about four hours we reported all Network frames were in service but fragile and still taking interrupts we needed to keep the network traffic low on the switch and let it stabilize for the rest of the day without input.

I got to my bunk at 1600 and was up at 2000. Before I left to look for some food I checked my email. Stacy had again sent me a message informing me that Holly had been feeling better and they had made a pizza. Stacy said she left Holly's about 2100 and was told the next day that Holly had collapsed and died in her apartment of causes unknown at this time. Holly's parents had come down from Pittsburgh and escorted her body home for the funeral. I replied back. That night I was in a haze, with the news of Holly, the switch still taking reports and I didn't have a handle on anything; it went that way for a few days. We had managed to power up the new network and with fingers crossed we added it to the switch. It held this time but the Line Network 4 next to the new one started taking interrupts and we turned it down. So the next day we had Network Frame 4 out of service and the rest including the new Network Frame 5 up in-service.

I got a call from sickbay saying I needed to report; of course that line would be working. I went down and confronted Margaret, she was aloof and I was getting madder. She told me they wanted a benchmark on my prostate and she was going to take a sample. The needle was large and the local anesthetic didn't seem to work very well; it felt like it went all the way through my groin into my leg. When I stood up I looked at Margaret and took the needle out of her hand, I was pissed.

"Now, now, if you don't give me that sample I will have to do it again."

Luckily again I kept my mouth shut put on my pants and walked out bleeding, it felt like a lot, but turned out to be nothing. John the corpsman stopped me and thanked me for the advice and the 100 dollars. As we talked I cooled down and it was as I expected with his girlfriend. It seems the local girls around the world share their notes about sailors. I saw Margaret; she walked by looking worried and straight ahead with no eye contact. We were still working through the night on the switch problem and I was at my wits ends but at least this line period was going by fast.

We were on schedule to UNREP in the morning, I had lost track of the time and went out to the catwalk for some air; the sun was out and the air was cool no flight ops. I felt an arm go around my waist and held me; I looked to my right to see Margaret.

"Fix the problem?"

"Not yet."

I think it was the stress but I could feel my eyes tearing up and a feeling of wanting to burst out crying. Margaret looked me in the eye and held me really close. I remember saying in a sob that I was sorry for whatever I had done and I just wanted to be with her. I steered clear of the "love" word. She held me tighter for what seemed like a long time. I had the feeling she was crying also; she broke free and hurried away. Not looking back she said, "I need to see you tomorrow in sick bay."

I went back to the switch to find Lopez smiling and singing some dumb song.

"I am sincerely glad you are happy Petty Officer Lopez."

"You owe me big Lenz."

She pointed to the back plane of network 4 and at the bottom of the frame you could see where there was some small damage like some one had bumped into it. Getting down on my hands and knees with a magnifying glass I could see two pins barley touching each other.

"They must have run into it when they were moving in frame 5."

"But the cover was on, so how?"

"My guess is they removed it because it was a tight fit and they needed that extra inch."

"I think you're right Lopez so be my guest you found it you fix it."

" Just what am I going to get for this triumph?"

"An engagement ring?"

"Fat chance Lenz I didn't join the Navy to get married."

"Ya know, I want to talk to you about that."

We spent the rest of the day getting network 4 up and stable. The rest of the network came up as well, we were golden. We didn't let anyone else in the compartment as we worked. I asked Lopez about women in the Navy and without mentioning Margaret asked a lot of questions. I called Commander Lynch and gave him the good news and he was ecstatic. I had forgotten how much he worried. I filled out the CASREP repair report and noted Lopez' contribution as much as I dare. I sent Lopez to her bunk and proceeded to my compartment. I stopped over to the communications offices and talked to Commander Lynch. I explained what had happened and we both just shook our heads.

"One last thing Commander, Lopez went above and beyond working on finding the problem."

"Yes she is great."

" Is there anyway we can address this in her records?"

"Of course, you should not have to ask leave it up to me."

"Thank you sir if there is any other info you need let me know."

"Thank you Lenz for a job well done."

I slept like a baby that night for the first time in weeks until around 0500. I woke up thinking about Margaret and what she had said about wanting to see me in Sick Bay. After a lite breakfast I when down to see Margaret, the corpsman ushered me into an exam room and I sat thinking this may not be good. She came in with a whirl and a smile and while I held my breath she said the test came back Okay. I said I couldn't believe they could test a sample with half my leg in it, she giggled and her cheeks turned a little red. The little room had two of those stupid little roll around stools, Margaret was sitting on one and I got off the table and sat on the other. I grabbed her legs, put my forehead to hers and we sat like that looking at each other quietly for a long time.

"I have reservations for a ski condo just outside of Geneva for our next port call. I figure we can fly in, stay for two nights and be back with a day to spare. I want you to go with me."

"Yes", was all she said softly.

The "Yes" meant I had to get reservations pronto, lucky for me the next day we were extended on the line for two weeks as this gave me some more time. I managed to rent a Condo in a little place called Les Rousses in France about and hour and a half out of Geneva by rail. Working the Internet connection I had set up I also managed to get an order out for some olives and with a little more effort air passage to Geneva and back. The little place was costly this time of year but my credit cards were still good in France and I do have resources that the average sailor does not. I told Margaret where the little town was so she could look it up on a map and since France was in the anti U.S. camp we needed to look more European in dress than American. We pulled into port Naples on time and while everyone else was heading for a bar I was in a cab heading for the airport to meet Margaret who had been the first person off the ship. I don't think she wants anyone to know what we had planned. I got to the airport without problems but it was busy and I felt lost. As I stood in the Airport someone grabbed my arm and spun me around, there was Margaret looking me up and down.

"Darling you look so European, where is your John Deere ball cap?"

"You don't think I fit in?"

"No Baby you're perfect let's go."

Margaret looked the part, her skirt fit just right in all the right places and she had on a tight sweater. I was amazed after always seeing her in a smock just how shapely she was. You could tell others felt the same, as she's the type men look at.

The flight was a little long but arrived safely at the airport on the outskirts of Geneva. We managed the rail tickets with few problems and before long we caught another smaller gage rail to the little town. It was a sight right out of the movies snow and ski trails. We found the condo and with more fumbling managed to get the key from the manager who demanded payment. We still had some daylight and found a little store if you could call it that and got the fixings for a dinner, some wine and some really good-looking pastries. The next day we toured the little town, walked some snow trails and took the lift to the top to look around...it was an enchanting day. The next day we ate at a little place in town and enjoyed walking around just talking about the future. The following day we talked about coming back soon and regretfully took the little train back to reality and the plane back to the ship.

We made it back and the next day we left again for another line period this time I felt I could handle anything as long as Margaret was around. The next week I saw Margaret in Sick Bay talking to Ruth and even she smiled at me so I figured Margaret had a good time. I got another e-mail from Stacy and I replied with all the sympathy I could muster but she seemed distraught and nothing would help. A few days later I was awakened and told to report to Personnel, but could not figure what this was going to be about. When I stepped into the office I remembered.

"You Lenz?"

"I, Chief Warrant Officer Lenz."

"We have orders for you."

"Where to and when?"

"USS Lincoln, CVN 72, cross deck tomorrow."

"Where is its home port?"

"Lets see, homeport Everett, WA that close enough?"

"Yes Sir."

I couldn't believe it; they drug that old rust bucket out of mothballs. The city of Everett, WA is close to home, it's about 2 hours to Tacoma. I hung around awhile asking questions then went up to Main Com. I talked to Commander Lynch and he said he understood, no one seemed very happy and I figured Margaret wasn't going to be either. The Lincoln was supposed to be in our place on the line but didn't make it out of Bremerton in time so we covered. When they got out of the yard they would replace us. I thought we would have seen them in Naples but they were in EMCOM and no one knew except the Skipper that they were coming so early. As soon as the crew heard they would be happy, and the Lincoln without a port of call would take over with me onboard........Goodbye Chuckie V.

"Margaret I have bad news."

"You will hear soon enough the Lincoln is relieving us tomorrow and you are going home early."

"What do you mean you are?"

"I have orders, cross deck to the Lincoln."

Margaret looked stunned she stepped back, looked mad and a little crazy.

"No! I am getting to old, I can't do this anymore, no one has even loved me enough to marry me. I just can't do this any more, I don't want this life anymore, I have to get off this ship!"

"Listen Margaret when I get back we will get married and the Navy will put us under the same command so we can be together."

"No! You have to get away from me, please!"

"Margaret I understand, when my wife died I swore I would never get this close to anyone ever again, but it happened."

"No go away!"

Margaret was upset but luckily Ruth heard and came over and held Margaret. Margaret just gave up and ran down the passageway and Ruth took off after her. I grabbed Ruth's arm and I asked her to give Margaret this jar of olives they were for our pizza. As Ruth looked over her shoulder she said, "Go Lenz just leave!"

I packed up my gear and spent the evening saying goodbye to my shipmates. After the "Eight O'clock reports" there was an announcement on the 1MC explaining we were being relieved on the line and were going home, there was a big cheer in the ship but not in sick bay. I stepped into Main Com around 2100 to say goodbye to the eve shift when the watch supervisor said.

"Hey Lenz did you get the message?"

"Message? No."

"Yeh it was a Class Easy message you know like a telegram."

"I didn't think they used them any more, who from?"

"Looks like your son, here it is."

"Read it for me would you?"

FM Tacoma, WA Paul Lenz.

To: USS Carl Vinson, CVN 70

CWO S. Lenz, CR Div

BT

DAD. WAS SOME SCREW UP WITH MOMS TOXICOLOGY REPORT. GOT MISPLACED. THEY DID FIND IREGULARITIES WITH SOME ODD COMPOUND. THEY ANALYZED THE CONTENTS IN HER STOMACH. DO YOU REMEMBER WHERE YOU GOT THE OLIVES FOR THE PIZZA YOU MADE THE NIGHT BEFORE SHE DIED?

REPLY PAUL

"Wow Class Easy!"

"Can we send a reply?"

"Yeh for 75 cents a word."

"Send this please."

From USS Carl Vinson CWO S Lenz

To: Paul Lenz

I REMEMBER IT LIKE LAST NIGHT WE ATE OUT. DAD

"What time are you leaving tomorrow?"

"0600."

The two great ships were about 20 miles apart, they were breaking the rules set for how close ships can be to each other on the open sea after the attacks. This is the second time I've ridden in a chopper and I don't like it. The Lincoln is looming closer and we are on its deck before I realize it. I see a Marine Corporal Standing by the hatch on the island structure he looks like he means business when I get over to him he says.

"You Lenz?"

"Yeh Lenz."

"Follow me."

Some other Marine takes my gear. We snake through the passageways they are the same but different than the Carl Vinson. This Jar Head is moving fast. I need some time to think.

"Hey slow down what's this all about?"

"The XO wants to see you."

As I stood in the XO waiting room I look over all the pictures of sad old men probably all dead of prostrate disease and think again. At the end of the 19th century with the onset of photography, there were some American Plains Indians that believed if you took their picture it would take their soul.

"Chief Warrant Officer Lenz I am Commander Evans, Loretta Evans."

"Good morning Ma'am."

"Come in and sit down."

"I would rather stand if it's Okay."

"Perfectly, I like to personally welcome aboard all the new officers as they come aboard the ship."

"Really."

"I have been in contact with Commander Lynch and he thinks highly of you and SVs in general. I thought we could chat for a few minutes about communications, you know how you like to organize your duties, your hobbies, specialties and such."

"I see."

"So tell me do you have any personal specialties?"

"Well I'll tell you Commander Evans, Loretta, I make a really good pizza."

# Day 700 1056 ZEWT Uncle Al's Invention Memory Tape 2-C32

I find myself climbing upwards, the ladder rungs keep changing; they go from metal to wood of different sizes. It's all a blur, I try to see the top but everything is changing slowly, very dimly I see a light at the top. I lay on the floor head spinning and throbbing, while the culprit paint can lies next to me laughing. As my mind clears I wonder how long I have been out cold and try to remember what happened.

"Leonard, are you alright down there?"

"Yes dear I am fine, a little accident but I'm fine."

"You had better come up lunch is almost ready."

My wife Heather is an attractive woman, sweet but not overly bright and that's good for me, as I tend to do stupid things, like this. My Uncle Al (short for Alfred) gets me into these messes even though he has been dead for two years now. He had a habit of coming up with the goofiest ideas, but his genius came from getting me to try them out for him and usually they ended the way this experiment did. He was my Dad's younger brother and they both worked at the family Hardware store or at least Dad did, Uncle Al didn't like work much. Mostly he tinkered with things and was usually found in the back of the store-checking inventory and taking a snort from the pint he kept in his back pocket.

I liked my Uncle, I think a bit more than I did Dad, he had a quick smile and looked at me like I was important, as I knew I was. My Dad said before he passed on, that Al and I got along so well because we were mentally the same age, I didn't think that was funny. As I pulled myself up and headed up the basement stairs I kept thinking of Al and how excited he would be to see one of his inventions had finally worked, or at least after a few adjustments it would finally work. My head hurt.

"What happened to your head?"

"Paint can fell from the shelf and got me."

"You worry me, you're always doing something like this."

"Where's Sammy, is he having lunch with us?"

"He is playing ball at the school yard and I told him to be home at noon."

"What's for lunch?"

"Chili."

"He will be along soon."

Sammy our son of 8 years would not miss his Mom's Chili except for a base hit. I was going to name him after Uncle Al, but Alfred just didn't seem quite right for the little guy and that pleased Heather. Sammy and I are not as close as I would like, he has always favored his Mom. He will be the heir of Melville's Hardware when I decide to pass the torch and hopefully not the way Dad did by dying early. Unless that is, some big corporation decides to build a bigger hardware store on the next block and cheat him out of it. All in all life is pretty good thanks to luck and the Baby Boom, but I still carry Uncle Al's dreams around with me and some day (maybe today) my life will change, let's hope for the better.

"Are you going to the store after lunch?"

" It's the first sunny Saturday we have had this spring and all of Oregon is going to need tools and gloves to work on their gardening projects. I am going to stay open until 8 o'clock tonight."

Pete my one and only employee opened today and will want to leave early to get sunburned like everyone else. It works for me and I like it when it's busy. I tend to dream when it's quiet at the store and like Al it gets me in trouble. I still can't believe that one slight change in the angle of the beams could change things so dramatically. I think Al is looking down on me laughing. The next time I will have to take some precautions with a physical experiment. The mind boggles with the possibilities of what this could mean. I can still remember Uncle Al and I working on this design when he was sick but I didn't know how sick.

I was working with Al on his newest project in the store's basement one night when he started explaining some math I had never heard him talk about before. I didn't understand it, which is normal as Al was one of those Math guys that no one understood and I was no different. I was tired from working and was eager to get to bed but Al was so insistent. He had stopped drinking a few weeks earlier when he first discovered a material that would absorb a beam of energy and seemed to pull things to it. I had the feeling Al was scared sober about the implications and that is why he looked sickly.

"Remember Leonard this knowledge could get us all killed including Heather and Sammy so keep your trap shut."

"Got it Al, are you feeling OK?"

"Listen Leonard I love you like a son, if something happens to me open that old safe and move all my papers someplace secure. Do you remember the combo?"

"Yeh, I got it written down in our Bible."

"That's what I thought, put the Bible someplace safe and don't write it down."

Three weeks later Uncle Al was dead and his last words were "the project did not cause my liver to give out so stay with it Leonard and don't trust anyone." I haven't trusted anyone since but until the last few weeks I haven't worked on the project either. At the funeral I saw some men I have never seen before and for some reason they scared me. I learned later from Pete they looked like some of the guys he and Al had worked with during the war. I worked in Portland's shipyards during the war; Uncle Al was working on some DOD project at Hanford. He didn't talk about it much so I figured it wasn't that important, how it tied into this project I couldn't say. One thing for sure the material did work and today proved it beyond my wildest dreams. In the basement I had suspended the material from the ceiling with some string then pointed the three beams at it. I had reset the angle so they hit the material at the apex of the beams. The amplifiers, coils, condensers and circuitry that hooked to the small dish's focal points were all put on a platform. I had built it from Al's drawings, it took me several weeks to figure it out but when I moved one dish one degree to the right the whole platform jumped from the work bench towards the material and crashed into the wall. It crashed with little fan fare but a lot of sparks. What seemed strange was that the material seemed to follow the platform towards the wall; the paint can followed as usual.

It didn't take long to reassemble the project back together and this time I took better measurements and with in a month it was doing as I suspected. The material, platform, dish and beams when activated worked as a unit and the material pulled everything to it. There was a lot I had to do but this was a basic unit that would follow the material wherever it went. The basic unit pointed to the material, it all moved as a collective craft up, down, side to side and without support. The real problem was control and speed and that took some time to figure out. I found you could control it at speed, but if you tried to slow it down it was out of control and would fall. By moving the beams you could go up, down or side to side but it was quick and that was a problem steering. Three months later and getting close to a divorce I had figured it out thanks to Al's calculations.

I could now take the unit outside at night and fly the thing around the schoolyard with a small wire tether. I put a small incandescent red light on the small model so I could see it. It was hard to maneuver but I managed with a longer and longer tether wire. The speed was still a problem and turning was so fast it would cause tremendous G-forces. I kept thinking of a manned unit and how to compensate for the G-force thinking it would be easier to maneuver with a human along for the ride. I decided to take a few weeks off and put our marriage back on track, it worked and by Fall I was back on the project.

I had decided during the winter and spring to go up a step and build the device so I could sit in it. Still a prototype model I would attach it to a single steel center pole, that way it would not get out of hand and I could circle the pole, go up and down, speed up or slow down. During that summer we spent time at our family cabin near a small lake southwest of town. I covertly checked out the old barn that was a few yards from the cabin to see if I could install the center pole. It was a quiet place perfect for the test and only one hour out of town. The barn was never used so I could store equipment there and set it up for the test without anyone being the wiser. Most of the work on the newer model was done in the basement. Sammy usually liked to be around Mom and the TV so I could do what was needed without interruptions. Around Halloween Heather decided she wanted to make some extra Christmas money and took a job at the local hamburger drive-in her friend owned. That made it easy to work on the new model and by Thanksgiving I was ready to move it over to the cabin.

I had spent a lot of time making sure I could make adjustments as needed. One thing that posed a problem was speed control, I managed to modify an old rheostat and found out that as Al had written "I think the amount of DC current could in fact control the speed" did work but I was not sure why. The problem with the rheostat was if the voltage dropped off too much it all stopped no matter how much current the material absorbed and this was perplexing. The next big question was the Material, as Al had called it. It was a triangle about two centimeters on each side and half a centimeter thick but was it enough to power the new model. Christmas came and went. There was snow at the cabin and it was cold and lonely, perfect for test II.

I usually took Wednesdays off and let Pete handle the store, so in the second week of January I got my nerve up to give it a try. I bought a 6-volt car battery for the DC power and drove up to the cabin. I had moved the new model to the cabin in December so it was cold, but as I sat in this contraption hooked to the steel pole a cold sweet and cold feet were taking over. I moved the rheostat forward one notch it just sat there and I held onto the craft with a control stick between my legs thinking "it's not working I should go home and think about this." One more click forward and still nothing. I knew that once it reached the correct voltage or current (I wasn't sure which one was doing the trick) it would jump and on the third click it did. I held on for dear life and pulled the rheostat back and it stopped and dropped. I had spun around the pole several times and it had lifted around a foot or so. I was not aware of pulling back on the stick but still it did work, the Material was up to the task. The second time was a little longer and by that afternoon I was making it go up and down faster and slower until I got sick from dizziness. It worked and I could control it on the pole. The car battery was using what seem like a small amount of current. As I locked it all up and got in the truck to go home adulation stopped and fear replaced it as the next step was at hand.

That night I went back to the basement and went through Uncle Al's notes again this time looking over the craft he had drawn. I remember looking at them earlier, but now it made more sense and my stomach tightened as I looked at the drawings thinking this may be my coffin. It took me a week to get started and I kept thinking I am not going to try this until I am absolutely sure this will not kill me. For some reason this gave me comfort but still sometimes I was overwhelmed with fear and sleep was one nightmare after another. This design was better and day-by-day it came together and took on a life of its own; looking at it scared me. Heather was starting to comment on things saying I was distant and spending to much time in the basement. I loved Heather, and looking at her was the one great enjoyment of my life. I could not let this project hurt our relationship or I would end up like Uncle Al, always alone. She was still working at the drive-in and that allotted me time so I made sure I only worked on Wednesdays and times when she was out, it was like having an affair. Sammy could care less. In April I put a tarp over the craft and loaded it onto the truck. It didn't weigh all that much so I winched it up in the garage using the rafters and some rope and lowered it down in the truck bed. When I got to the cabin I repeated the process in the barn after dismantling Model number II. I stalled as much as I could, fixing this and that trying to find a way out of the final test.

On Thursday May 11, I donned Sammy's old football helmet crawled into the craft and prayed. I am not all that religious but as I lay there I was sure I felt Uncle Al's presence and figured this was it, now or never. I knew my biggest obstacle was the fact it wasn't going to hover; it was going all out and if I was lucky, I could put it in a tight circle and drop it to the ground. It was going to hurt. What I wasn't expecting was the G-force, I was so wrapped up in the build and control I had completely forgotten about the G-forces. It was out of the barn in a flash and it pushed me down into the capsule with an incredible force. I pulled back on the rheostat and it stopped and dropped, I caught it pushed again and it lurched forward. This time I let it go and it climbed to altitude.

Luckily I found an old altimeter last year in Murphy's junkyard that was used in some plane during the war and it sort of told the altitude. I needed to stay below five thousand feet and the altimeter helped. I had built a small porthole to look out of but lost my position within the first few seconds. I was aware of the ground and sky but I had to constantly turn it off and on to keep it in the sky. I was trying to keep the craft in a tight circle so as to crash in relatively the same area.

I was terrified and kept seeing Heather, I started to cry. I became furious with Al and myself and cursed the whole stinking project. I kept turning it off and on and after a few minutes I started to gain control. I could turn it on and jerk forward, stop it and it would drop. I gained altitude and managed to drop slowly by turning it off and on staying in a tight turn. During one turn I saw the lake and decided to see if I could just drop it into the lake, I may be able to save myself. I pulled it as hard as I could into a circle trying to keep the lake in view and turned it off and on. A few feet from the lake I managed to stop it and it went into the lake I turned in back on and it skipped to shore and crashed into the bank.

My head was numb but throbbing, blood was all over the little porthole and I was in immense pain from every bone in my body. I looked out and saw I was on the other side of the lake but I was alive. I laid there in the quiet, nothing moved I groaned and it helped so I continued. From turning it off and on I had slammed my body into and out of the restraints I had fashioned and I had actually broken Sammy's helmet and I think my leg. In a desperate attempt to stay alive I had managed to escape death but the payment was severe.

Some how I pulled the craft from the shore and into the bushes and covered it up with a tarp. I crawled /staggered back into my truck and managed to get to the road. There I drove into a ditch and waited for someone to pass by and help. It seemed like forever but in about a half hour a deputy showed up and called the fire department; together they pulled me out of the truck. I can remember them saying how it hardly hurt the truck at all but I ended up in the hospital. Heather showed up while I was in the emergency room and was waiting when they rolled me up to a room. She seemed so scared and I felt like a stupid idiot, she smiled.

"Honey they said nothing was broken."

"You could have fooled me, I think I broke a tooth."

"What were you doing up there anyway?"

"I went up to check out the cabin and a deer ran into the road, I swerved and........."

"Don't talk they are keeping you tonight but you should be ok to go home in the morning."

"I am really sleepy."

The next morning I felt worse than the day before but I was happy to be alive and didn't have to explain anything. Heather drove me home in the Rambler. I slept that day and kept pretending to sleep so I didn't have to explain anything. I laid around the house for a week and started back to work at the store the next Saturday. Pete kept asking me if it was a deer or bear or maybe something else that caused the accident. I kept telling him it was a deer but he didn't seem to believe me for some reason. During the week I was off I drew up an auto switch schematic that would let me turn it off and on, that would let me move it at will plus the circuit was easy to build.

At the end of May I went back to the scene of the trial by fire and the craft was just where I had left it still covered up. I could see the blood all over the tarp. It wasn't as far from the barn as I had remembered. I installed the ON/OFF circuit and put in a new battery, my plan was to move it by operating the new circuit from outside the craft via a 30-foot wire. I could not believe it but after a few adjustments of the focal dishes it lurched forward and with the new switch I walked it back to the barn with just a few helping pushes along the way. I had planned to dismantle it but after I inspected it in the barn I found myself thinking this was the magic switch. I could now control it. But still the G-forces had to be overcome. On the way back home I found myself actually thinking of trying it again.

That night after dinner as I was eating my dessert of Heather's famous chocolate cake when it came to me. If I immersed myself in gelatin it would act like a shock absorber as it accelerated, it would push me back into the gelatin and slowly dissipate the force.

The next day at the store Pete gave me a small article from the Oregonian newspaper. Everyone was space happy ever since some pilot sighted a saucer shaped object as he was flying next to Mt. Rainier in Washington State two years ago in 1948. The article was dated May 13th and said on Thursday a farmer named Trent had sighted and filmed a small UFO in the sky over his farm.

"Interesting Pete so what."

"That's the day of your accident you sure it was a deer?"

"Yes."

"Maybe a green deer?"

"NO!"

I hadn't figured on what to do if someone were to spot the craft but no harm; I will have to be more careful in the future. I started thinking about where this was all going to lead and why I was doing it. Was it to be the great help to mankind? After WWII there was no mankind just survivors, we were all one-step from oblivion and the scars would be with us for a generation. I decided to make another test using the gelatin and call it good. Uncle Al was right, someone would kill for this secret even my government so one more test and out. When I got home for dinner Sammy was watching TV and Heather was singing in the kitchen and I thought maybe I should just stop here.

"Hi Honey how was work?"

"Good we broke even today."

"You have a package, it's on the table."

The package looked like a book with no return address. It also looked like Uncle Al's writing I stashed it in the basement and sat down for dinner.

"What was in the package?"

"Just a book I ordered for the store."

After dinner I went to the basement, I got that look from Heather so I figured I could only stay for a few minutes, open the package and then be upstairs for an evening of TV. I was right it was from Uncle Al and it was a notebook, the opening statement was a little scary but to the point.

HEATHER, IF LEONARD IS DEAD PLEASE BURN THIS NOTEBOOK AND ANY OTHER NOTES OR DRAWINGS YOU FIND OF LEONARD'S OR MINE!! CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT AND IN THIS CASE YOU AND SAMMY IF YOU DON'T. I LOVE YOU AND SAMMY PLEASE DO WHAT I ASK.

LEONARD, IF YOU ARE ALIVE I HAVE A MISSION FOR YOU AND NOTES TO EXPLAIN SOME THINGS. I AM NOT WRITING YOU FROM THE GRAVE, I HAD SOMEONE SEND THIS TO YOU TWO YEARS AFTER MY DEATH.

I missed the first of our Thursday night TV programs but made it upstairs for the second, lucky for me. Uncle Al had a lot to say and as I had expected the material wasn't of this earth. Still he was a bit mysterious as to where it came from except to say that he got it from some guy he worked with at Hanford that was born and raised in Little Falls, NY. He did say that Pete was supposed to mail this package to me two years after his death but not to say anything to Pete, as we all know how much he likes his secrets. I read it over quickly but enough to figure "in for a penny in for a pound". Uncle Al had me again and this time I may be joining him if anything goes wrong. On the bright side he did have a schematic of a speed control with a pulsing on-off switch that was much superior to mine, except I didn't understand some of the components.

I had worked as an electrician apprentice in the shipyards but by the time the war was over there were a lot of advances in electronic that I hadn't kept up with. I called a friend of mine, Kit that I worked with in the shipyards. He was in California now working for some aircraft company as an Electronics Engineer. Luckily Heather and his wife had kept up Christmas cards and I was able to get his telephone number from the Information Operator.

"Kit how's it going in California?"

"Great Leonard how's Hardware?"

"Good Kit. Say I was looking at a new schematic and saw some components that looked strange. If I send you the drawing could you take a look?"

"Only if I can take Heather out next time I'm up."

"Ah."

"Just Kidding Leonard, send it down."

Kit was a good guy except he did have a crush on Heather and although she didn't mind his wife did. I sent a drawing down to him and a few weeks later I got his reply. He seemed perplexed and said some of this was cutting edge and secret where did I get it? He did send descriptions of the components and where as a civilian I could buy the parts. I got the feeling he was a little too interested in the design even though I sent only a modified drawing that didn't include everything. I did not get back to him. Some of the other drawings Al sent helped with adjusting the focal point during flight and added circuit schematics that showed how to make it hover for a few seconds; this was the holy grail of the notes. If you could hover it would be light years away from what I built. I had the feeling that Al figured I would not have done anything about the project we were working on and by sending the notes two years later it would inspire me to go on. Unluckily for me I still have scars from the test flight. If I would have had these notes I could have avoided the pain. Still there was nothing in the notes on G-force, which I was going to have to figure out and soon.

June was nice in Northwest Oregon and business was good at the store. Pete was happy knowing his secret and willing to work some overtime. I had sent away for the electronic parts I needed and they were expensive. Heather was in good spirits looking forward to summer and because business was so good I gave her some money to buy a few summer dresses. Sammy made a Little League ball team as shortstop and was strutting around like a major leaguer. On July 4th we had a barbeque at home for family and friends. The kids had their beloved fireworks and Heather was stunningly beautiful in her new dress. I was distant, my mind was far away thinking of the mission before me like a fighter pilot taking off and not sure if he would return. I found myself crying quietly at night feeling the breeze of the open window and Heather laying next to me. I was going to test Uncle Al's craft in a few weeks.

I spent most of my spare time working in the basement on the circuits and installed them on Wednesday when Heather was busy at Sammy's school getting ready for the new school year. I had contacted a wholesaler that my store salesman knew in Chicago about Gelatin. He was one of those people who were really interested in what he sells and although I was in a hurry I found out a lot about gelatin.

"Gelatin or gelatine, is used to make desserts, it is made from the boiled bones, skins and tendons of animals. They boil it all up in big vats, scrap off the gelatin and then dry it."

"That's a little more then I wanted to know."

"How much do you need?"

"I am running a day camp for kids and need quite a bit. Do they make any that sets up at room temperature and can sit on a picnic table for a few hours?"

"Well they do have some that is more like what you want, a 5 pound bag makes about 20 gallons depending, and room temperature is iffy."

"I will need about five bags."

"OK where do you want it shipped and billed, the chewy stuff only comes in lime."

I had never thought about what flavor I wanted, I didn't particularly like green lime but who's to care. Being immersed in it would have other problems. I had to waterproof the controls, attach handrails around the inside of the craft and put in a few more portholes. I also had to figure out how I was going to breath and if I was immersed in gelatin; was I going to wear a swimsuit or what? I had read about guys using tanks of air to breath underwater and new diving masks. So during my travels I was able to buy a used second-hand CO2 bottle (air tank) used for this purpose and an air regulator. The swimsuit was another problem. During the first test and getting thrown around the inside of the craft I had wet myself and figured the same would happen this time and maybe worse. So floating around in lime Gelatin, urine and worse didn't seem like an option. So I got into Sammy's old trunk of baby clothes and made a diaper for myself and crafted rubber pants to cover them up. I also crafted a barf bag even though that wasn't a problem during the test except when I had Model II spinning on the pole in the barn.

The last week in August we spent at the lake, Sammy was upset he couldn't take a friend and that he had to start school again in a few weeks. Pro ball players like him having to attend school, such a disgrace. I stayed away from the barn even though I couldn't help but just admire the craft, it looked so spacey that it is the only way I could describe it.

We hung out around the house on Labor Day and Heather was a bit depressed summer was over but Fall would follow with bright days and cool nights. The next Wednesday I finished the craft and was doing small jobs around the store, stalling because I knew another test was only days away. I was hoping the lake was cool enough to set up the gelatin and if not should I test it anyway, just a short test? The weather had to be cool enough to let the gelatin set up but not so cold that I would freeze in the craft with no clothes on. I decided on mid-September for the next test, it would have to be at night because it was too easy to see in the day. Uncle Al's notes had some pictures of nighttime landmarks taken by some plane over the U.S. They were mostly lights but you could figure out the different places. He had also written in his notes what compass readings to follow to the next landmark and the name of a book on sea navigation. The way the pictures were laid out it looked like a cross-country run Chicago to Kansas City to Salt Lake and back. It seemed a bit aggressive to me. I figured south to Medford and back would be my run and then sink the craft to the bottom of the lake.

The next weekend Heather received a call from her Dad in Seattle, seems her mother was sick and she needed to go into the hospital on Wednesday for a few days. He asked her if she could spend the weekend when her mother got out of the hospital and of course she agreed. Grandpa was an avid baseball fan and loved Sammy. He used any excuse to see him so they were on their way in the old Nash Rambler Friday after school. I figured the Gods had decided that Saturday night would be test night, a good night for a laugh. I spent the morning at the store and left for the Cabin around 2 o'clock in the afternoon. That didn't make Pete too happy but the Gods do what they do not the request of man.

I mixed up the gelatin and to my delight it did set up some after I poured it into the craft, which was floating next to shore. The lake temp was about 48 degrees because of the cool nights. After about an hour I winched it onshore, turned on the thousand-watt light I had installed on the barn roof and pointed it straight up. I donned my diaper, rubber pants, and plastic diving mask and slithered in. It was unbelievably cold and I shivered, but like jumping into the lake in a few minutes I was used to it and was going over the checklist.

At 9:15 p.m. I turned the lights on and shivering I slowly started upwards using the controls I so neatly put together. It was an unreal sight and I wished I wasn't so cold. I rose to around five thousand feet and my ears started to hurt and I cleared them by slowly blowing through my nose while I pinched it shut. I moved the controls and started slowly going forward I saw the lights to the north of Portland and south to Salem, compass said due east. I increased altitude and was excited by how smooth it was compared to my ill-fated first attempt. My ears hurt and I stopped the assent. I could feel my ears popping and opened an outside vent hole. I thought it might be because of the air I was exhausting from the air regulator but it didn't help. I decided to stay below ten thousand feet. I adjusted the controls to go forward and I was again pushed to the back of the craft, the gelatin did its job this time and although I was wearing another football helmet I put one hand on the controls and the other on the side rail. I could see small lights go by fast and figured I was really cooking.

I had kept the compass setting at due east and watched the time but I could not see anything outside. Using the controls I slowly stopped all forward movement and that crammed me forward in the craft but nothing like the first test. At a hover or at least it felt like a hover I turned the craft 180 degrees, pushed forward on the control and kept track of the time on my wristwatch. I found the light I had set up on the barn roof. I had set it to pulse and lucky I did there are a lot of lights at that altitude. I found that by adjusting the air vent I could keep my ears from hurting a little less. I figured it was air pressure or lack of.

This test was over, as I dropped slowly following my barn light it was like a dream, subtle movements of the controls worked like driving a car at high speeds. It landed with a thump and I was again on earth. I wanted to take it back up. I wanted to see the earth at a high altitude again. I wanted to do this again. My thoughts turned to Heather and I managed to pull myself out of the craft with a lot of sucking noises. To say I was jubilant is an understatement, I made it, I did something no one else has ever done and I am alive. I am not a drinker but I opened the quart of beer I had in the cabin's refrigerator leftover from August and downed it all. Singing and dancing I got the craft back into the barn, set up the water hose and turned the craft upside down and washed out all the gelatin. I could not bring myself to sink it in the lake. I took a shower to get the Gelatin off; the water was cold but I didn't care. I disconnected the battery, turned off of the lights, locked the cabin and flew home. I can't remember that truck ever going that fast.

I called Heather she remarked how excited I seemed. Her mother was just fine and Sammy and Dad were talking sports. They just finished dinner and were going to bed when I called. As I lay in bed thinking of the past few hours all sorts of problems and solutions were coming to me but I didn't care. I couldn't sleep and got up and went into the bathroom and as I turned on the light I noticed a green tinge to my skin. Luckily I was in the lime gelatin for only a few minutes. I was alive, I love Heather and my life and nothing but nothing was going to get in my way of us again. I started thinking of another child, I knew Heather was still young and had talked about maybe having another baby maybe a little girl. It would make her happy and as I laid there that seemed to be the only thing in the world I wanted to do.

The next Wednesday I when back up to the cabin to prepare it for the winter, put the craft in the corner of the barn and covered it up. I took out some of the circuits and the other battery. I took my notes and Uncle Al's and buried them in an old 5gallon paint can behind the barn. As I left driving out the old dirt road I started looking back, the whole ordeal seemed so impossible so movie like, it was hard to believe I had done what I had done.

The Gods had smiled on me and now it was Halloween, Sammy dressed as a ball player of course, trick or treat, normalcy, and Heather. Heather was a beautiful witch all in black and that night I succumbed to her wishes. Halloween had passed. Thanksgiving had come and gone and Christmas had brought Heather the best present yet she was so beautiful. The store was showing a good profit for the year and I was thinking of expanding into paint. Pete seemed overly secretive around the first of the year and on January 10th, I found out why when I came home for dinner.

"Leonard you have another package."

My heart stopped as I saw it was another package from my long departed Uncle Al. I didn't stop for dinner; I sped down the stairs into the basement. This time my mission from Uncle Al was to build another device for the craft and was to proceed to a small town in Slovakia called MYJAVA. I was to hang around for a week to see if I was contacted and if not everything was to be destroyed. I was furious after reading the note and ran upstairs to call Pete on the kitchen phone.

"Pete I want to know what's going on."

"What do you mean Leonard?"

"Pete I know you sent the packages and I want to know everything or"

Sammy's eyes were like baseballs; Heather dropped the casserole in the sink and after a few more words to Pete that had never been spoken in our house before I stormed out to see him. He was waiting for me and he was a different Pete. I was beyond mad but he stopped me in my tracks.

"I am not doing it!"

"Yes you are Leonard."

"If it's so important you do it Pete."

"You have been chosen."

"Coward, where were you when I was laying next to the lake half dead."

"You started to early."

"Pete I am not doing it and I will kill you dead if you try to make me!"

"That to can be arranged for you Leonard along with Heather, the baby and Sammy."

"I can't believe this Pete, Who are you?"

"This time I will make the modifications you're too stupid. You almost killed yourself crossing the Cascades at 10 thousand feet and no pressure in the craft."

"I am not doing it Pete."

"Yes you are or you will end up like Albert; the craft will be ready by the first of February. Meanwhile study the navigation charts from the last notebook. The craft will be functional February 1st at 10:00 p.m."

It took me awhile to get home, I needed time to think but also I was ashamed to face Heather, I can't ever remember being that mad. When I got home it was quiet and I sat at the kitchen table numb of feeling, it was like I used up every emotion I had and it drained me. Heather carefully sat down and poured herself some coffee she didn't seem mad or hurt.

"So, do you want to talk about it?"

"Sure."

"What was in the package?"

"Pornography."

"Pornography, from who?"

"From the company Pete uses to get it from."

"Pete?"

"Yep, Pete."

"Why did we get it?"

"Because Pete gave them my name so he wouldn't get caught."

"Leonard I am not understanding any of this."

"Pete orders pornography from this company back east. He has them send it general delivery to a post office in Portland under my name. They somehow started to send him unsolicited pictures and when they were returned they looked up my name and address and started sending it here to the house."

"I can't believe it, Pete!"

"Look Heather, I am sorry I blew up, with all the fun words I said and all but I just snapped, things like this are not supposed to happen."

"I understand Leonard but in front of Sam."

"I know, but this type of dirt is not supposed to enter our home, never, I just lost it."

"Let's go to bed. Are you going to fire Pete?"

"I don't know, I told him not to show up for work tomorrow."

I went through every emotion, anger, fear, and loathing then back to dread. I knew what I was going to do and I could not stop myself. The next week was sleepless. Pete said little at work but took off a lot. I figured it was to work on the craft as I had given him the keys to the cabin and barn. So many things went through my mind. I could just take off camp in the woods and come back in a week. The thing that kept me going is what Uncle Al had said in the notes "I am sorry Leonard." He knew he was dying and I know he would have gone to Slovakia to keep the date just to keep me out of it but he couldn't. Poor Al that must have killed him more than his liver to know he was going to put me in harms way.

One week before the first of February Pete came to me with more notes he had written up. I knew that in two weeks if I returned he would not be here or I would not return.

"If I don't return you will have to stay for Heather."

"Of course."

I knew he would make sure Heather and Sam would be okay but I wanted to see his reaction and it wasn't much.

"Read my notes Leonard, if you don't crash the Craft there is no reason you shouldn't be coming back."

I did read his notes and all the notes from Al over again. Pete had designed a new compass with different settings and a stopwatch timer and it seemed fool proof. I figured if I followed the lighted landmarks from altitude maybe just maybe I would make it back. I began to feel more and more confident. The weekend before I took off I went to the craft and studied the things Pete had installed. I wanted to understand how to manually turn off and on the air pressure in the craft. I was still in the gelatin but as Pete had indicated in his notes it would not be as cold, I was praying for that. He had installed more air tanks and modified my mouth regulator to be more comfortable. All and all I was ready to go. It was easy to lie to Heather about going to a hardware convention in California to check out a new brand of paint but it also gave me an excuse to say goodbye.

I took off in the truck waving and smiling like it was a big adventure. Heather and Sammy stood on the sidewalk-waving goodbye. It was a cloudy cool day but not cold. I loaded the green lime into the craft. I did not have to move it out of the barn like before because of the changes Pete had made. On February 1st at 7:00 p.m. PST I turned on the barn light, got into the craft, slithered down into the lime gelatin, sucked on the air supply, adjusted the craft pressure and pulsed it out of the barn. Once again I laid in the gelatin naked except for my diaper and facemask. I pulled the controls up and it responded immediately. I set it for hover and it responded quickly, better than before but a bit disconcerting. I set controls for 25 thousand feet and it responded and hovered perfectly. The gelatin was warmer but not warm, I set controls for the first leg of my trip and let it go.

I was on my way N 48.7536 E 17.5669 to my final destination. The light patterns were easy to identify and the compass was out of this world and as I figured it just might be. I was getting thrown around a lot with every change of controls but I could live with it. About three hours into the flight I crossed the Atlantic seaboard and changed headings. As I did the darkness over took the craft and me, I had never seen stars so bright. I was moving fast but I could only guess where. I increased speed like Pete's notes said and one hour later it was light. I could barely see the landmarks but changed headings again and after a total of five hours the craft slowed and the timer said 30 minutes. Meaning at this change in heading I would be right over my destination in 30 minutes. At exactly 30 minutes I stopped the craft again, I was squished into the front of the craft but started the decent. I had a feeling during the whole trip even though I was setting controls they knew more than I where I was going. I just hoped it would be the same way on the way back.

I figured the thump I felt as I descended into a small treed area next to a small farm meant that I had arrived. I looked out the portholes, now foggy, to a clearing and decided to just wait awhile as I turned off the machine. The temperature started to increase immediately and it became uncomfortable. The gelatin loosened its grip as I lay there marinating for a few hours. The gelatin had the consistency of motor oil and I was praying it would set up again during the night. From what I could figure it was afternoon and there were many problems to work out as I marinated in my little craft. First something to drink, I found my thermos of juice and ate some cheese I had brought. I figured this wasn't going to last a week but I may be able to steal something from the farm across the field. I cracked the hatch and pulled myself into the sun, it was cool with a few patches of snow about. I stood there in my green diaper and took off the facemask. I had gotten a really short crew cut before I left and there were pieces of gelatin stuck here and there. As I was wondering where I was going to spend my week I felt a cold punch to my left shoulder. When I turned I was face to face with a shotgun pointed squarely at my nose. My diaper served me well and I dropped to my knees.

I could not understand a word anyone was saying but I think they were as scared as I was. They led me across the field with a lot of yelling and although I didn't know their language you could always tell when someone was swearing. They were marching me to a large barn and we passed two women, one old and one young. The young one was looking at me smiling. I thought she at least was friendly until I remembered my state and what I looked like, I was a mess. I figured she was having a good laugh at my expense. I sat on a bale of hay in the barn and the younger guy with the gun sat a few yards away on the other side, left of me. The Sun was heating up that side of the barn we were on and the older guy had given me a tarp so I laid back and dosed in and out of sleep. When I came fully awake I was aware of one man and one woman standing a few feet in front of me. The woman spoke first, very eloquently.

"You must have loved your Uncle deeply."

I could not speak it just didn't seem real to address these people in my state. The woman smiled the man spoke.

"It's not important you know everything, just what you need to know."

"I understand."

Without skipping a beat he started talking of thousands of years ago on a small planet close to earth and how the problems they had were starting to happen here. Of vast differences between the Technical people and the Wholesome people as he described them and what they were going to change, now that they had settled here on earth thousands of years ago. He talked about the harshness of the new planet and how the inhabitants attacked them and how as the years drew on they started to see there was no hope of planting their culture in this new land.

The woman started talking of the children born with brown eyes who are now moving together with the blue eyes. Of lost hope and years of passing the secrets from generation to generation that wanted only to prosper in this new land and finally of total capitulation until the generations were now of this planet. A few kept the logs of the old life so as not to forget.

This all seemed like a poor science fiction film. The man went on with the story and we got to World War II and the bomb that ended it. It was here that he stated my mission, seems the atom bomb was the key. Fission was needed to cook all the elements together to make the material that got me here from Oregon. So the woman added, "Your mission is to take the material we have placed in your craft and the formulas, a recipe if you will, and present them to your government." Sometimes in life you say things without thinking or that just come out, like this time.

"Why would I want to do that?"

"Because if you don't, greed and lack of morals will follow and will first destroy your families, then the children and then this planet. Your blue eyes will disappear and technology will be your God and you will be destroyed by the God that made us all."

"How will the material help?"

"Endless energy with no cost."

The Woman smiled and looked through me.

"There is no other material left. There are no other people. There is no other hope."

With that they left out the back door leaving me well, speechless. I stepped outside into the warm Sun to think over my dilemma.

I smelled the gunpowder before I felt the pellets hit me. I vaguely remembered them saying or chanting.

"Zeleny, Zeleny, On je zeleny cudzinec ho zabit.

As I lay there dying I had thoughts of Heather and her beautiful smile.

"Detachment Bravo 45 we have reached our rally point and Darkmalign will be detaching from your vessel in a few seconds."

"Our Trek has been completed without incident in 1,044 earth days."

"The time is now 1832 Zulu Earth War Time."

"I wish you all Good Luck on behalf of the Darkmalign."

