HOT OFF OF THE PRESSES
SENATOR CONFESSES
HE BANGED MISS JULY
AND WILL DROP OUT BY AUGUST
I SCOOP OUT THE STORY
THIS WILL BE MY GLORY
I ROLL LIKE AN ANCHOR
STING LIKE A B-ROLL
NEXT STOP, THE TOP FLOOR
THE MOMENT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR
TURN, HE SAYS
AND GIVE ME A TWIRL
MMM, I LIKE YOUR ANCHOR, GIRL
SO I TURN
AND JUST TODAY
I PUT THE STORY AWAY
FOR CREEPY-ASS MEN
WHO ALL WANNA NAIL YA
OLD LIKE YOUR GRANDPA
WITH SKIN LIKE DOUGH
CREEPY-ASS MEN
FROM NEW YORK AND AUSTRAILIA
PROUD, MEDIOCRE MEN WHO RUN THE SHOW
I STILL MAKE SOME PROGRESS
GET THE SCOOP ON CONGRESS
AND WRITE AN OP-ED
ABOUT MODERATE VALUES
HE INVITES ME ON THE SET
TO DISCUSS MY CONCEPT
I TELL HAIR & MAKEUP
TO MAKE UP A WARRIOR
I'M THE IDEAL CHOICE
THE FAIREST AND MOST BALANCED VOICE
TURN, HE SAYS
SWITCH YOUR GEARS
TO BE A NEWS ANCHOR HERE
THIS SHOW LEANS FAR RIGHT, AND SO
I TURN MY LEFT VIEWS DOWN LOW
FOR CREEPY-ASS MEN
FROM CREEPY-ASS PLACES
EARNED THEIR POSITION BY BEING BORN
TO CREEPY-ASS MEN
WITH CREEPY-ASS FACES
"THUMPING" THEIR "BIBLES" NEXT TO HARDCORE PORN
I'VE TURNED SO MANY TIMES
THAT I CAN'T TELL RIGHT FROM LEFT
AND I HAVE TURNED FOR THEM
IN EVERY DRESS AND HELD MY BREATH
LEARNED TO TURN ON EVERY WHIM
AND ON THE SLIGHTEST SIGHT OF HIM
AND SINCE I'M A LADY
I WANT TO RIP APART HIS LIPS
THOSE CREEPY-ASS MEN
WHO FLY OFF THE RAILS
HE'S FLACCID AS JELL-O
BUT HARD TO FIGHT
I WON'T NAME NAMES...
...'CAUSE HE KNOWS WHAT AILES ME
THE WRONG PATRON SAINT OF THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT
BUT, THERE'S NO
TURNING 'ROUND
AND I'VE GOT A MANSION NOW
YOU'RE ON TRACK
YOU LUCKY KID
TO TURN OUT
THE WAY
I DID
