Are you still mad about the sperm bank?
No.
You want to hear an interesting thing about stairs?
Not really.
If the height of a single step is off by as
little as two millimetres,
most people will trip.
I don’t care.
Two millimetres?
That doesn’t seem right.
No, it’s true, I did a series of experiments
when I was twelve, my father broke his clavicle.
Is that why they sent you to boarding school?
No, that was the result of my work with lasers.
New neighbour?
Evidently.
Significant improvement over the old neighbour.
Two hundred pound transvestite with a skin
condition, yes she is.
Oh, hi!
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi?
We don’t mean to interrupt, we live across
the hall.
Oh, that’s nice.
Oh. No. We don’t live together.
We live together but in separate, heterosexual bedrooms.
Oh, okay, well, guess I’m your new neighbour,
Penny.
Leonard, Sheldon.
Hi.
Well, uh, oh, welcome to the building.
Thank you. Maybe we can have coffee sometime.
Oh, great.
Great.
Great.
Great.
Well, bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Should we have invited her for lunch?
No.
We’re going to start Season Two of Battlestar
Galactica.
We already watched the Season Two DVDs.
Not with commentary.
I think we should be good neighbours, invite
her over, make her feel welcome.
We never invited Louis / Louise over.
Well, then that was wrong of us.
We need to widen our circle.
I have a very wide circle.
I have 212 friends on myspace.
Yes, and you’ve never met one of them.
That’s the beauty of it.
I’m going to invite her over.
We’ll have a nice meal and chat.
Chat?
We don’t chat. At least not offline.
Well it’s not difficult, you just listen
to what she says
and then you say something appropriate in response.
To what end?
Hi.
Again.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Anyway, um.
We brought home Indian food.
And, um.
I know that moving can be stressful, and I
find that when I’m undergoing stress,
that good food and company can have a comforting
effect.
Also, curry is a natural laxative, and I don’t
have to tell you that a clean colon is
just one less thing to worry about.
Leonard, I’m no expert here but I believe
in the context of a luncheon invitation,
you might want to skip the reference to bowel
movements.
Oh, you’re inviting me over to eat?
Uh, yes.
Oh, that’s so nice, I’d love to.
Great.
So, what do you guys do for fun around here?
Well, today we tried masturbating for money.
