I want to be somebody when I grow up
I want to be I want to be I want to be a huge star not physically, but I want to be big
I Want to be like the next Halle Berry Jim Carrey with that oprah Winfrey money you know mother rich
Lotta people ask me. Oh tiffany. Why do you do comedy? Why are you comedy?
Why why why don't you model get a rich baby daddy or something? I'm like bitch, if comedy. Don't work out. That's what the f**k I'm gonna do
I'mma go ahead and get pregnant collect child before it like the rest of these bitches out here f**k it.
Nothing wrong with it right you do it
It's nothing wrong with it, and I'm gonna have a couple of different baby daddies. I'm gonna have like four or five different ones
That's four, five different checks coming in that's good money
Thats good money coming in I'm one of all difference. I'm gonna have each one a different race
I'm definitely gon have to have me a white one because I know my checks gon come on time. I'ma probably get two of those.
two white baby daddies and then get me a
Hispanic baby, Daddy because he can build a house for me in the rest of theses motherf**kers
We gon start out in the studio apartment. He gonna add 25 bedroom
There's going to be met our kids and all his ancestors
So we gon have it poppin .
Who's the biggest celebrity that you would like to meet. that I would like to meet yeah
That's alive?
You don't want to meet somebody dead
Yeah, so yeah
Somebody live right now somebody alive that I can meet right now and meet like what do you mean by meet like this week?
We're always like oh, you will we help my career model
Yes, Ouma Thurmond. I will fuck your
16 if it is coming about right, and I may I'll make me some friends Amber and Samantha
We're totally hanging out right and ruin gym class, and I'm like totally like showering, and they're like oh my God
Tiffany your bush. It's like ridiculous is like a total monkey down there. Oh my God
Nobody's going to ever eat your burger. Oh
My God, no you have to get that wax. I'm like wax. What's brush - oh my God. It's going to be so bright
It's going to be you're you're going to love the way your monkey looks after that. I swear the guys
So I'm like okay cool. So they take me to the spa and stuff another little asian lady come up
And she put the wax on it's all warm. I'm like. Oh, that's mine
I'm kind of cool. She put the paper on this you press down kind of my damn bitch
I'll take the pain Trouble I
Walked out of there motherfucker with a faint. I don't have white ball dance with one bar to tune it right I?
hope you like design I
Know you very well, and I just met you I know that you are very shy
I am and and this has just decided you that's like and whenever I get a microphone in my anything in my anything that anything
You are referring you are in this business for the right to see you are your you know exactly what may be said, Mecca Empire
You're in it to win it to
Empire oh
for a pyre
Oprah hi. How did oprah become so successful is she a role model for you? She is as you are following in her footsteps
Because you are what you look at to the people?
Look at how you connect with all these white folks I?
know how to cross the color line
That's living with all of my people when I was in foster care daytime
Shit, I can't read
Only know how to talk in fuck begging you know you can only do that for so long
Y'all don't get higher than sir the talk initiation
She got that sitter you just like a nigga copyedit
It's important to suck dick so like that right man. Isn't that important for you guys went?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I learned how to do that shit off a gay porn as I learned
That be choking on it and stuff. Y'all like it wait show you how to talk a little bit on the bigger never know
You won't kill me with all this shit
Even when the Asian man is a little harder you do
Asian boob. I love asian dudes cuz I got magical powers
Something I don't know this is a guy guy y'all magic. He said I can't get you know, but I can give you mathematic
Y'all got superpowers men salut right here this background right here
Mmmmm, hey
Y'all quran and what wish y'all via to me?
Chinese oh yeah, got super magic y'all got the fun choice
Whoever had the first way before I girl oh my God, I got super oh my goodness
The only man you don't even have to take your clothes off and they just later
And you lay down on your back and they put their hands right here over your bellybutton everything
That goes in like there, and you like oh, oh, oh oh, Mr.. Kim. Oh
Let me go my cue from chop suey or something his mother making some orange chicken
Yeah, I'm still cute
Tummy, I'm looking at me like why she got that little sparkly ass bag. What's up? It's a little bag
That's the cannon of the last part with her uh I carry my little pocketbooks with me everywhere. I go because
Why do I mean republicans just people in general they feel?
May be stealing that's how we got here right, so I people come the two of us. That's in here
How we got here right because why people can place told us they kidnapped us we could be in Africa right now with our titties
out like
on Tiger fucking walking tigers mischievous
We I'm here in America, and I'm glad I'm happy. I'm here
I appreciate all the white people in Spanish people that sold us remember to thank you
that fits you not free
You sold me to this
Why is black people named Pablo I?
Kidnapped up to don't don't get it twisted
One time I said that at a show on the girl going yellow
I some of us was trading for beads Amira's all of us wasn't kidnapped. I was like bitch
You was traded for beads and mirrors okay cuz no ass is ugly as hell
My people were kidnapped. We are fucking beautiful, bitch
Let's not jump ahead and took
They went up to y'all motherfucking chief and was like can we have some of your people he was like
Yes, take all the ugly bitches give us mirror. We reflect on these ugly hoes and
That is what happened
Ladies you ever wear some jeans so tight when you take them off it still looked like you got jeans on and you do be
Like take off your pants be like I did take off my pants be like a what's up with the pockets in the back
Motherfucker got his ass soozee. It supposed to have ripples and dance swimming and stuff. That's what make the sound effects dummy
And men let them sound effects don't they they let at that point I?
Can't really do it with my mouth, but my ass does it great
Now I'm saying it fuck they love that lady's liver the first time he was doing the doggy style
And he was liking me it dude hitting from the back and you just like oh my God you hit me like oh my God
This is amazing
I don't even have to look at him or nothing
This is so good. Oh my goodness
Hope is no don't look don't fuck it up. Don't fuck it up anything
Oh my God, this is so good. Oh, oh
And I don't know the first time for me. It was so good
I started to raise up like a black swan ass on my raise up on my tippy toe this shit like I
and in all of a sudden
And I didn't know what to do
I didn't know whether the lab screen cry get up and fucking run the first time it happened to me
I just buried my face in a pillow like oxygen threw my ass back real fast like you turn the nitro on that shit
Y'all know what I'm talking about like
that cleve
Why don't nobody tell you why don't they tell you in health class that this could happen nobody tells you this?
When you younger that this is possible to happen the first time to happen so you just fucking happens
It's like a surprise. They don't sit you down the health class and go ladies
There'll be a time when you're having sex and a man will be penetrating your vagina
repeatedly and as he's doing that he'll be pumping air in there and
Once you relax there'll be a sound that comes out. That sounds a little something like this
Don't become alarmed. It's natural you're just relaxing
It'll tell you that none of your friends
Tell you none of your girlfriend's does having sex before you tell you none of your friends like girl
I was doing it to hector yesterday. He had my pussy be boxing, bitch. Yeah, my feel like
Tell you that
Just happens and men love it when they hear that sound all it's like magic to them is like. Oh yeah. Oh yeah
That's what Daddy want to hear so that
if it's other plumbing that
So I live in a lot of different foster homes
I got to move around and live with a lot of different kind of families
And I'm so happy because it molded me into the person that I am today and like my very first foster family
They were hispanic right so I learned how to speak Spanish in mucho, Gusto
De Nada me incontinence and again so she knows tacos Papi Chulo and commend me for not sure I
always have fun when I say that it makes the cup I
also, learned how to make tamales and cut grass delivered babies
And I can make the kids in yellow dress like an ain't nobody motherfucking business
Okay, I'm a real same street, bitch
then I got to live with a Jewish family and I was afraid because the Mexicans told me what they did to jesus and
Your marinate on that one
But it was cool, because they were so kind to me. They do me about Mitzvahs. I had a big party
I never had a party before I got circumcised it was great
Now when I walk fast it feels really fucking good because there's no hurry to my mother thing
real emission bitch
Anybody that knows what the clitoris is supposed to look like knows. What the fuck. I'm talking about
This little jacket over at the little hood
If I walk fast, I don't need no man as well try to never
Cry smile so much this last mile. It's good being judith
