

### Leadership & Parenting

Leadership can be compared to the Owner of a Gun!

By Wayne Hoss

### Leadership & Parenting

Leadership can be compared to the owner of a gun!

Published by Wayne Hoss at Smashwords

Copyright 2014 Wayne Hoss.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This e book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e Book may be distributed freely and shared with and/or given to others. This book may not be re-sold.

Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author, and please share this book with a friend.

This free book is from the "Leadership & Parenting" Chapter of the book "A Sermon to Remember" by Wayne Hoss. This book also includes a couple of chapters from my new book titled "They Could Make a Soap Opera Out of This" by Wayne Hoss

This book is free so that readers can experience a few chapters out of Wayne's magnificent books and get a taste of his awesome writing skills. If you like this book, then please tell a friend and download the rest of the book (the full book)

The author Wayne Hoss would also greatly appreciate it if you would take a minute or two out of your busy schedule and let him know what you thought of his book by writing a short review about this, or any of his other books listed below. As always, I thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to read this book.

Table of Contents

Chapter One: Leadership & Parenting

Chapter Two: Bad luck follows me to my first job

Chapter Three: Workshop Disasters Continue Tenfold

### Chapter One

### Leadership & Parenting

Leadership can be compared to the owner of a gun!

Leadership, the word in itself has great power, and in a way, it can be compared to the owner of a new gun. Some owners of a gun are just dying to go out and shoot it, and they will shoot at anything that moves. They are irresponsible, as well as very, very, dangerous.

They get a gun in their hands and they go on a "Power Trip" so to speak, they don't care who or what they hurt as long as they are in control. Then again, some gun owners know that guns are dangerous and that a gun can literally ruin a person's life by mishandling one, so they treat it with great care and respect.

Just as an irresponsible gun owner can ruin a person's life, so also can an irresponsible leader or a parent. This is one thing that I feel a great need to discuss in this book. This chapter covers the many aspects of leadership and parenting, from an employer, to a parent, and even our leaders in the government should read this book.

I have managed several different kinds of businesses, from restaurants to retail stores, and this is one subject that I have a lot of experience in and feel confident with as well. In this chapter we will discuss what makes a good leader, and/or parent.

I have seen leadership and its effects from many aspects of life. I remember one of my first jobs as a leader at a local fast food establishment. One of the many things that I learned from observation is that when I tried to give orders I ran into walls "so to speak". However, when I asked a person to do something for me, they were usually more than happy to do it. The key word here is "Asked".

The bible says "Ask and ye shall receive" and that can be applied to life as well, in many different ways. If you ask a person to do something for you in a kind and considerate manner (politely) they are usually more than happy to do it for you! But if you bark orders at them you run up against resentment, anger, envy, and many other brick walls that can fall on you in the slightest tremor.

If you ask someone to do something and they refuse, then perhaps you should take a step back and ask yourself; "Am I asking this person to do something that I myself would not do?"

This is perhaps one of the biggest reasons for retaliation that I have ever seen. When I became an Assistant Manager Trainee at a local fast food restaurant I would work with my employee's side by side and help them get the job done.

I would jump in right beside them and help them get the job done rather than tell them to do a job that I did not want to do myself. Let's face it! All jobs have that one particular chore that we just hate to do. However, somebody has to do it, why should it be someone else? Why not you?

In fact; if I caught myself taking the easy jobs, and giving someone else the jobs that I knew deep in my heart that I really did not want to do, and I knew that I was just pawning it off on someone else, then I would quickly put myself in check and go help that person do the job (if not do it by myself) and then the next time that it needed to be done I would make myself do it as a form of self-discipline.

Why? Because I am an adult now and I no longer have parents to correct me. So, should I do whatever I please (and/or don't please – or want to do) since I am an adult and can do whatever I want to do without worrying about the consequences? Of course not!

Being an adult comes with a lot of responsibility, something that so many adults seem to forget (or overlook) and it shows in the way that they carry themselves. I was once told to live every second, of every minute, of every day, as if the Lord God Almighty were standing right there beside me.

Think about this now, honestly! If God were standing right there beside me and he knew that I pawned a chore off on somebody else because I was being lazy and did not want to do it, what do you think that he would say or do? What do you think his punishment would be for me?

Exactly! He would probably make me do the chore myself, rather than let me be lazy and order somebody else to do it! One of the beautiful things about reading the bible is that as you read it more and more, you learn how God thinks and how he reacts to certain things.

So the answer is "Yes!" I do discipline myself as often as possible, so that by so doing, some day our Lord God Almighty can say to me "Well done!" not only for God, but for myself as well. Lord forbids that I become a lazy sluggard ordering others to do that in which I myself do not want to do. I have had bosses like that in the past and I have no desire to be such as them.

Anyway to continue; I had one of the best crews ever; they were fast, efficient, and dedicated wholeheartedly. Why? The answer is simple; it was because I did not expect them to do anything that I would not do myself. I treated them with respect; therefore they respected me.

I remember a customer coming to me once and telling me that a toilet in the men's rest room was plugged up and over flowing. I was real busy helping the drive thru teller take and fill orders during a lunch hour rush, so I asked two of my employee's to go outside and take care of the problem, what ever it would take, and I told them to take a plunger with them.

A few minutes later another car in the drive thru pulled up to the loud speaker where the drive thru orders are taken and in an anxious and worried tone voice said "Hey! You'd better get a manager out here, you have two employee's fighting in the men's restroom out here and it does not look good for your business"

I hurried outside to the restroom and as I approached I heard the two workers arguing real loud. The employee whom had seniority over the new employee said "I have seniority over you, now get your butt down there and fix the toilet!"

I shouted "Hey, what is going on here? We have customers complaining that I have two employees out here fighting in the restroom." The new employee said, "A big chunk of paper towels is lodged in the neck of the toilet and it won't quit overflowing." He said "I could not plunge it down, and even though the water looks clean we can't find the rubber gloves, and I am not about to stick my hands in the toilet to pull it out."

The other employee said "I keep telling him to just reach his hand in there and pull it out because its clean water, some kids just stuffed a bunch of seat covers and paper towels in the toilet as a prank and caused it to overflow, but he will not listen to me, even though I told him that I have seniority over him!"

I said "Why didn't you just do it yourself and then write him up?" He said "Are you crazy, I'm not about to stick my hands in there!" To which I replied, "Oh, but you expected him to do it, didn't you?" I then reached my hand down in the toilet, pulling the paper out, thus unclogging the toilet, and without saying a word gave them a look of disappointment and went back to work. I could have told one of the employees to do this as I stood back and watched him, but I did not want to pass the buck "so to speak" and tell him to do something that I did not want to do myself. I must tell you that I never had a better set of employees after that!

Why? Because by humbling myself and doing something that they did not want to do, and by doing it without complaining, or giving them a write up for refusing to do it, I simply humbled myself and did the dirty task without saying a word, and from that point on they respected me and even became problem solvers themselves.

You would be surprised at how many bosses would have just sent them back in there again the second time and said "Handle it!" or wrote them up, or even fired them on the spot for fighting and arguing in front of customers and for refusing to do the task.

I knew that they were just youngsters, in their late teens, and I knew that they still had a lot of growing up and maturing to do, so I gave them a break and showed them that I am willing to work side by side with them, and that I am not better than they are. By the way, I did wash and scrub my hands in soapy water and then use a sanitizer three or four times afterwards!

Now, if I had forced him to do this, he would have resented me and there would have been a wall of resentment between us from that point on, which would have interfered with production on the job. What would you have done? Honestly! Would you have sent that employee back in there telling him to figure it out and then went on about your business?

Many would have to answer "yes" to that question, and no telling how many precious minutes would have been wasted as the employee procrastinated doing the job during the lunch time rush. Not to mention the fact that from that day on he would have been resentful and not only hated coming to work every day after that, but he would have hated me, and if they hate you, they do not respect you, and every single day that they come to work they hate it, and they resent you for embarrassing them. Remember that a happy employee is a good and productive employee.

I cannot begin to tell you how many jobs that I have worked at where the foreman or supervisor yells and screams at the employees, calling them names like "Stupid idiot!" and so forth. Then that supervisor can't figure out why he is getting chewed out by the owner of the business for lack of production.

A happy employee is a productive employee, but an embarrassed and mistreated employee hates being there and becomes a clock-watcher, like a prisoner counting down the days of his release, only this employee counts down the minutes until he gets off of work.

He is not there because he wants to be, like he was in the beginning, he is there because he has to be... to pay his bills, but he hates every minute, of every second, that he has to spend on that job, and you made him that way. He no longer tries to do a good job and impress you because you are a... let's face it; you are a freaking "Jerk!"

Once you have mentally abused and embarrassed an employee, you have very little hope of ever gaining his trust again and getting him to enjoy his job; and let's face it, if he does not enjoy being there, it becomes an eight hour prison term, and you are the warden from hell.

Any employer that yells and screams at his or her employees and disrespects them should be fired immediately, because once the morale is gone, the love of the work they do is gone, and only a man or woman who is happy to be there every single day, and whom loves their job, is a good and productive employee.

Moving on, perhaps you would have sent another employee out there to do the job, knowing that you yourself did not want to do it. Many would have to answer "yes" to this as well; they would have sent another employee out there to take care of it.

Sure, I could have rounded up another employee to do that job in which I knew deep down inside that I really did not want to do, but no telling how many precious minutes would have been wasted doing that in the busiest rush of the day, and I knew that by working side by side with this new employee, I was bringing myself down to his level. By humbling myself, I was showing him that I was no better than he was and that I was just an employee like him, no better, no worse, and I showed him that even I, the boss, was not too good to do the dirty jobs myself.

Sometimes I had to be wise and use a little psychology on them, like late one night that I wanted to clean the restaurant and go home and relax because I was not feeling well, and it always took them several hours after we closed the restaurant to finish cleaning up, and to do the stocking and preparing food for the next morning.

As bad as I felt, I knew that I would be there several more hours, but then I over heard the employees talking about going out to a bar together and having a few drinks after work. I heard one of the employees say "Yeah, but why go to the bar, we never get out of here until after one o'clock in the morning and the bars are closing just a few minutes after we get there... It sucks!" he exclaimed.

For wanting to go out and enjoy the night after getting off of work, they sure were slow and hesitant about getting their jobs done. They were working slow, taking their time, putting off the chores they hated to do, telling others to do them, and I even heard a couple of them arguing over who was going to sweep and mop the floors.

There was a lot to be done still, such as sweep and mop the floors, clean the restrooms, stock the kitchen for the next day, and the usual chores; but instead of getting it done they were standing around arguing over who was going to do this chore or that (as usual)

I, being wise, knew that they wanted to go out that night, yet it was almost ten o'clock in the evening and the restaurant had just finished closing up. They were not even close to finishing their chores. So after I counted the registers, put the money in the safe, and did my chores, I told them all "Listen up people, I know that you all want to get out of here as soon as possible tonight so that you can go to the bar and hang out with your friends, after all, its Friday night! So I am going to pitch in and help you! Let's see if we can get out of here by 11:00"

I pitched in and worked side by side with them, and we were out of there at 11:10 pm. The next morning the manager told me that she and the district manager were amazed at how spotless the place was and asked how my crew got out of there so early. She was totally amazed and she said that on all previous nights, before I got there, the earliest they ever got out of the building was at 1:30 - 2:00 am.

A true leader continually puts themselves in check, and works with his, or her, employees, thus bringing respect, unity, and a sense of loyalty to the work place. It is true! A happy employee is a good and productive employee.

Have you ever had an employee or perhaps even a friend ask you to let them do a certain job that nobody else wanted to do, and ask with an overabundance of enthusiasm? If so, then I think that you will agree with me in saying that this particular individual usually did a better job than anyone else could have done.

Why? Because that person was enthusiastic and wanted to impress you, and perhaps it even makes them feel good to hear a word of praise every now and then, so they work even harder to do a good job and impress you. Say what you want about that, but everyone needs to feel appreciated, and everyone likes to be noticed when they do a good job, even you!

So that person wanted to do whatever the job was for you, whether that person is someone at work, or simply a friend wanting to help out and show you that they are a true friend, and that they appreciate all of the times in the past that you were there for them. They simply wanted to impress you, and wanted you to see their enthusiasm, and recognize their commitment.

All of your employees can be just as enthusiastic as that person was, if you treat them with the respect and dignity that they deserve. Not just as an employee, but as a human being. How dare you yell at them and walk in to the owner's office expecting to be treated with kit gloves. Shame on you! A person trying that hard to be recognized is worth their weight in gold! Why? Because they will do a good job and give it all that they have.

I also made it a point to continually thank and praise my workers, so that they knew that they were important as a team member. I once told someone that often prayed to God for help, but never prayed to thank God for the great miracles he had worked in this person's life, that you should thank anyone who helps you, especially God.

Have you ever had a friend ask you for your help, only to begin helping them and then they walk off leaving the entire task to you? And then to make matters worse they never even said a simple thank you? What about those friends or family members whom only seem to come around when they want something from you? How does this make you feel?

Then this is probably how Jesus felt when he healed ten lepers only to have one of them come back and thank him. So when an employee does a good job, let them know that you appreciate their hard work and effort.

Suppose that an employee or a friend asks you to let them do a certain task for you, or asks to help you with a particular job, such as painting a house, or fixing your car or plumbing, and their whole heart is in it, but they make some kind of a mistake; or break something on accident. What would you say to them? What would you do? Think of a similar incident in the past where a friend or family member helped you and they accidentally did something wrong or broke something; what did you do? What did you say? How did you react?

Some people become enraged and downright mean when you accidentally break something of theirs or make a mistake. This can be devastating to a person, because the person that they so wholeheartedly tried to help cursed at them or yelled at them for simply making an unintentional mistake and trying to help.

How discouraging it can be to put your whole heart into something as an act of kindness only to have it backfire on you. This can literally eat a person up, rip them apart inside, even bring them to tears; because what began as a kind act of help, and a good deed, you let Satan turn against that kind hearted person, and you treated them like trash, like dirt, for simply making a mistake that anyone could have made. That is why when something like that happens I simply say "That's oik. You were only trying to help!"

Be glad for a friend that is continually trying to help you from the bottom of their heart, for there is nothing better than a friend like that. Do not be a fool and let Satan turn such a good deed into a disaster and ruin a good friendship.

I have been in that exact situation many times. I would offer to help a friend work on his car, do some yard work, or paint their house, things like that, and not only did they not act like they even appreciated it, but when I accidentally dropped a spot of paint somewhere they would blow up and curse me, or call me stupid. Here I was helping them for free, when nobody else came to offer their help, I was a good friend and the only one there for them when they needed help, yet they treated me like dirt for making a simple mistake. How dare they!

There is nothing like feeling unappreciated or abused. I remember one day when I was at my sister's house, drinking with my brother-in-law (this was in the days long ago when I drank) my brother-in-law was showing me all of his rifles in the gun case. He picked one up and showed me how to do that old rifleman move, like the rifleman did on the television show, where he snaps the rifle in a downward thrust and then back up quickly, cocking the rifle and preparing it to shoot, so I asked if I could try it.

My brother-in-law said, "Sure, go ahead!" so I said, "Which rifle do you want me to use?" to which he replied "Just grab any of them; they are not loaded!" So I reached into the gun cabinet and grabbed a rifle, and when I flipped it down and then back up again, I was surprised by a loud **"** Boom **!"** The shotgun I was holding had went off and shot his brand new, two thousand dollar oak wood television.

My brother-in-law did not even get mad. I was shocked! Even I would have been upset a little bit, as nice as I am, but not him, he just said, "Don't worry about it! It's only money...at least nobody got hurt!" and to this day I still respect guns, but I respect him even more.

Would I respect guns any more than I do now if he would have blown up at me and cursed at me and called me stupid? Of course not! I pray to be as wise and calm as he was that day, every time such a situation arises. If that would have been my oldest brother he would have hit me, yelled and cursed at me and probably never trusted me around his guns again. Not my brother-in-law, we still go out and shoot guns together.

I offered to buy him and my sister a new television of the same value, but he flat refused to let me. He knew that I did not make much money back then, so he bought the parts and fixed the television himself. That, my friend, is a great leadership quality. Not only did he show kindness, mercy and compassion, but he put him self in my shoes and knew how bad that I felt, and most important of all, he knew that as frightened as I was when the rifle went off, I had learned my lesson; to be careful with guns.

When an employee, or even a friend, makes an honest mistake, do not torture them over it, do not curse at them, or call them stupid and other kinds of belittling names, because other employee's or friends will follow your lead and begin treating them bad as well.

A lot of people would have gone ballistic and said "You owe me a new television; I want the money right now!" But he was kind, and wise, very, very wise. How would you have reacted? Would your reaction have made matters worse?

In Matthew 5:22 Jesus said "But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother without cause will be subject to Judgment. Anyone who says 'you fool!' will be in danger of the fire of Hell" Do you call anyone stupid or a fool? If so then beware! I tell you now that you are in danger of spending an eternity in Hell.

Have you ever been burned real badly? Think about that pain, how much it hurt; now imagine it ten thousand times worse, and never ending! No pain pills in hell my friends. Scary isn't it?

So, think twice before cursing an employee or a friend, especially over a silly, unintentional sin. In Numbers 15:22-29 the Lord God Almighty said that anyone who commits an unintentional sin shall be forgiven, it says "If anyone commits a sin and it is unintentional, it shall be forgiven them, for it was done out of ignorance!"

Now, if the Lord God Almighty can forgive someone for making a mistake, or committing an unintentional sin, then so can we. It takes a bigger man to hold back his anger, and respond in kindness and wisdom, such as my brother-in-law did, than it does to give in to Satan and yell and scream or curse at someone.

Those who say that Christians are weak are liars and the truth is not in them. I simply say to them "No, you are the one who is weak, for it takes more strength to walk away or to do what is right than to follow Satan's lead and act in anger!" So be strong.

Now a word to you parents: Do not keep scolding and nagging your children, making them angry and resentful. Instead be kind and merciful. Bring them up with the loving discipline that the Lord himself approves of, with suggestions and godly advice.

That is what Apostle Paul wrote in one of his letters to one of the Churches. What can be said about parenting? I do not have much to say on this topic and I will tell you why; because I know that parents love their children and do their very best to raise them and bring them up to be good solid citizens. They do the best that they can, according to what they themselves have been taught about parenting and raising children.

If only children of this generation knew how good they have it these days, and "No" I am not breaking off into one of those "You kids have it made; when I was your age I had to walk to school in six feet of snow barefoot" stories.

What I will tell them (your children) is the truth, and it will scare the hell out of them when they read this; or that is what we hope to do by telling them this true story. We hope by reading this true story that it will scare the devil right out of their lives, and open their eyes to the fact that they are truly blessed

All of my life growing up I wondered about a story that my mother would tell us kids, one of many horrible stories that sounded too insane and evil to possibly be true. When mom would mention this subject, and believe me she did not talk about it very often, we children tended to scoff at her and think to ourselves "surely she exaggerates"

Mom told us several stories of terrible things that our grandma supposedly did to her when she was a child. She did not tell us these stories to intimidate us; but to make us see how good we really had it with her as our mother in comparison to what she had as a mother.

She often told us a story about how our grandma would take a switch off of a rose bush, leaving the thorns on it and beat her with it. I was close to my mother and I knew that she was not one to bear false witness; she read her bible daily and loved God, as do I. But I did think that perhaps she was way over exaggerating the story and I highly doubted that the thorns were really left on that switch.

Then one day a few years ago I went up to stay with my grandma for a week, because she lived up in the desert where it was nice and quiet, and I was studying for my Real Estate Examination. While I was there we became closer than we ever were before, and she told me a story about how stubborn my mother was as a child, and went on to say that she thought my mother was possessed by the devil as a child because of her stubbornness.

She went on to say "I would get so mad at your mother sometimes that I would make her go out to the rose bush out front, cut off a big switch, and bring it to me so that I could spank her with it. She said, "I mean to tell you that she was so stubborn, she would not even cry. I would often leave the thorns on the switch and I am telling you the truth! I would give her the switching of her life, and when I was done with her you could not even see a little spot of pink from the flesh of her skin anywhere on her legs, because she was all covered in blood"

I was shocked by what I had just heard, "Oh my God!" I thought to myself, "Mom was telling the truth!" Not only was she not exaggerating, but she was being a good mother by holding back and sparing us the bloody details, not revealing the full extent of the hell she had gone through as a child. She would mention being spanked with a switch from a rose bush that still had the thorns on it, but she never told us about all the blood.

That was when it hit me like a ton of bricks; all of those years that we were spanked, which we often referred to as a beaten, from time to time, it was what we as children thought was a beating anyway, yet it paled in comparison to what she went through at the hands of her own mother!

Why did I bring this up? Because there is one very important point that I need to get across to not only the parents of this generation, but to the children as well... so be sure to have your children read this one or two pages if nothing else.

You see; we face a terrible dilemma these days. The bible says, "Spare the rod and spoil the child" and as unfortunate as it is, there were some people back in those days that took that quote way out of context, such as my grandma. They were beaten as children and guess what... they grew up to beat their children just as they had been beaten. It is sad that any human being could do such a terrible thing to another human being, much less a little child.

The good news is that we children, all of us, have broken that chain of terror handed down from generation to generation. We do not beat our children, in fact we do not even spank them but perhaps once or twice and even then it was a love tap in comparison to what my mother went through.

So as I was saying; the good news is that by us bringing our children up in good homes and putting an end to the beatings like we and our parents went through, we have successfully changed that terrible curse that went on from generation to generation, and now our grand children have nothing to fear. Amen!

Ah, but wait. That is incredibly good news, but with it comes a new curse of its own that is just as dangerous in many ways, so we have yet another curse to deal with. What is that curse? I thank God for programs like child protection agencies, because it was parents like my grandma that made such programs a necessity, and programs like that are a blessing, and they are still in need even in today's world, because there are still parents out there who unnecessarily beat their own children, some that even go so far as to murder them.

But every rose has its thorn. Now that there are laws protecting our children, it has gone overboard to the point of this:

I have some close friends who cannot control their son. They never spank him and he curses at them, calling them names that I dare not even consider typing in this book, but it goes way beyond that. I have seen him threaten them and scream crazily at them saying "If you do not buy this for me I will go to school and lie to them and tell them that you and dad beat me and molest me" Oh yes! Believe it or not, I being a true messenger of God would dare not lie to you or even exaggerate the slightest bit.

They are afraid of him and have asked me to contact television talk shows and see if perhaps they can do something to help. Maybe send him to a boot camp or something. Not only have I heard him make such threats, but I have been told that he even carried those threats out and showed up at their front door with the school nurse, the principal and the police one day.

He later even admitted to me that he lied and had the police come out to the house because he was mad at them because they would not let him stay up to watch television. Kids today can literally get away with murder and they know it!

I have seen him throw heavy objects at his parents, cutting into their flesh and caused them to bleed, but they still would just walk off and do nothing. How could they? Do they dare? He would say, "Go ahead! You can't touch me or you will go to jail!"

Ah, so it is true, every rose does have a thorn, and this particular thorn has come back to haunt us! In one extreme the children were abused, and in the other extreme it has now become the parents instead!"

I have talked to his mother and father and seen them in tears. They are super nice people, loving and caring, I could have only hoped to have such good parents as them as a child. They buy their children all of the best toys, very expensive clothes, and have a wonderful, beautiful home to raise them in, nothing lacking.

The best advice I could give any parent going through that sort of thing is to call out the sheriff's office or the local police and without the child there explain what has been going on and ask the officer if he could come out when the child gets home from school and have a talk with them.

I also strongly advise them to have hidden camera's around the house that constantly record anything in a room set off by a motion detector, so that if the child does follow through with those lies and false allegations, you will have proof. You can set the camera up to wirelessly record to your computers hard drive, thereby making it fairly cheap to do.

I know that sounds extreme, but there have been cases where the parents were sent to prison for years by their children's allegations of abuse, or accusing them of molestation, only to be proven wrong years later. The children confessed about ten years later and the parents were released from prison.

You do not want this to happen to you. Seek help in any way possible. Our police officers are always a little too ready to believe the woman and children over a man, and I can tell you this from one of my own experiences.

A long time ago when I was married, I think that I was about twenty years old, my wife talked me into taking her visit her sister for a day or two, and she lived in California near a naval base.

When we got there I sat and watched television while the two of them went out shopping for a while. About an hour after they got back I heard my wife tell her sister to come in to the bedroom so they could talk. It almost sounded like they were arguing at times.

As I sat on the couch watching television, someone knocked on the door and my wife said "Honey, get the door!" I got up and answered the door just like she told me to do and I was shocked to find two police officers standing there and asking if I was Wayne.

I was even more shocked when they proceeded to throw me up against the wall and handcuff me, telling me that I was under arrest for beating my wife. I kept calling out to my wife as loud as I could, but she did not come.

By the time the officers walked me downstairs and up to the police car, I must have told them a hundred times that they were mistaken and that I did not believe in hitting women. As they opened the door to the police car, my wife's sister came out hollering to the police to stop, saying "Wayne did not do anything; my sister met a friend of my boyfriends earlier today and she wanted Wayne to go to jail so she could drive his Tran-am over to the mans house!"

Beware of such snakes. I thank God for my wife's sister! Had she not been so kind and honest, only God knows how long I would have spent in jail for something that I did not do. I have even heard of some women going through with the false allegations and showing up in court to further their lies. Thank God for Hell, it is going to be quite full!

I will finish this chapter with some advice from Apostle Paul, whom I respect more than words can say, because everything that he said in the bible was wisdom far greater than anyone I have ever met or could ever hope to meet, could ever have, except for Jesus. Apostle Paul said "Children, obey your parents; this is the right thing to do because God has placed them in authority over you. Honor your father and mother. This is the first of God's Ten Commandments that ends with a promise. And that promise is this: That if you honor your father and mother, yours will be a long life, full of blessing.

And now a word to you parents. Do not keep scolding and nagging your children, making them angry and resentful. Instead of that, try to bring them up with the loving discipline that the Lord himself approves of, with suggestions and godly advice."

I know that you parents are giving it your all, and no doubt the children could certainly try a little harder; but I am not going to speak much on this matter, because parenting is a day by day learning experience. None of us will ever have it down perfect, because no two kids are alike, and therefore each situation and child requires a different set of skills and attention.

However, think on this poem for a second or two:

Listen to the Children

Listen to the children, to what they have to say

Or somewhere down the road you'll wish you did that day

Listen close when they reach deep within

To say how they feel, or want to confess a sin

Listen intently to their hearts cry

Hold them close don't let emotions fly

Don't harp on them when they are a sinner

Better yet, rub it in when they are a winner

Because people mirror what you put out

They are calm when you are calm, they shout when you shout

Tell them that you love them when they are young

Or someday you'll pray that the jury comes back hung

Tell them "You are my child and I am proud!"

Make sure you say this nice and loud

Make sure you spend a lot of time with them

Or your relationship is surely condemned

Grab a toy car and hop on the floor

For this he will love you, so much more

Show them attention show them you care

Teach them you are willing to share

Make sure you are always in their reach

Teach them all that you can teach

When they show you a desire to learn

Read to them until your eyes burn

Make sure you show them a lot of respect

Or some day your relationship may be wrecked

I have these words to he that will listen

Follow them and your life will glisten

Take the family to a picnic under the birch

Even better yet, join them in church

Where they will learn the world's greatest story of love

And join you someday in Heaven above

By: Wayne Hoss

If I had to give you my best piece of advice when it came to your children it would be this; be sure to teach them to be careful about "following the crowd" so to speak. You see it on T.V shows all of the time, shows where an otherwise good kid, makes a mistake and does something evil or wicked, not so much because he or she wanted too, but because other kids wanted them to do it, to be one of the crowd, and then they end up with a life sentence behind bars.

I do not want to make this a book of poetry, but please share this one with them.

Friendly Voice of Woe!

You meet this person who claims to be a friend

He swears that he will be there until the end

He seems so trust worthy there at first

Little did you know that he was evils worst

He was for you, life's evil thinker

His evil suggestions your life's sinker

He spoke with a friendly voice of woe

Influencing you to go where he wouldn't go

Slowly but surely he led you astray

But where will he be come judgment day

He said it was OK. to do a few drugs

Before you knew it you were running from thugs

It was he whom persuaded you to have that first drink

For he knew that under the influence you would not think

It was he whom taught you such good lies

And set you up with false alibi's

Before long your problems did double

Even he knew that you were headed for trouble

Now that he suckered you into a life of sin

He hid himself deep in the shadows within

Your family tried to set off your conscious alarms

As they sadly watched him lead you into Satan's arms

So now you're at that dividing road

Wondering which way to carry your load

Give in to your heart and follow the Lord

Let that friend carry his own sword!

By: Wayne Hoss

By the way, if you liked these poems then you will love my poem book

Poems from the Heart of Wayne Hoss by Wayne Hoss

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/256751

The next part of this book is important for you to read, it comes from a chapter of my new book "They Could Make a Soap Opera Out of This" by Wayne Hoss. These are actual accounts of things that happened to me at work, some of which no human being should ever have to endure.

### Chapter Two

###  Bad luck follows me to my first job

These next two chapters are from my new book "They Could Make a Soap opera Out of this" by Wayne Hoss. It's actually a humorous book, at least that's what I have been told, but these next two chapters that you are about to read are very important for anyone in a management or leadership position, and you will not believe what one of my bosses from a past job did to me. It will blow your mind, possibly even upset you a bit.

These are not just a couple of stories that a writer with an overactive imagination whipped up, they are actual accounts of some events that actually occurred in my life, and I had to include them for those of you in a management position at work, so by these bad examples you can learn and grow from.

Unlike most kids that wait until after they graduate from high school to get a job, I started working at the early age of fourteen years old. Don't get me wrong, I too believe that school should come first, and that holding down any kind of job does interfere with your grades, no matter what anybody says.

However, if your parents are strapped for cash and food needs to be put on the table, then that comes first, before anything else; because if you don't eat, then school really won't matter... will it?

Anyway, if you thought that all of my bad luck would surely cease, or slow down and give me a break as I got older then you were, as much as it pains me to say it, very mistaken.

My first job was at a local swap meet here in town. My job was fairly simple, or so it would seem. I was put in a small dirt lot and set up with nothing more than a money pouch tied around my waist with a small amount of change, and an old table to stand at and sell soda pop from. No shade from the hot sun in well over one hundred degree weather, not even so much as a chair to sit down at once in a while.

I had nobody to come and relieve me to take a break, or even to go to the restroom. This was way back in the late seventies, and back then you did not have the laws like people have today to protect their rights as employees; you were pretty much on your own.

Well, I did just as I was instructed to do when I started my shift, and poured five small cokes, five mediums, and five large sized cokes as well. Then as my luck would have it, after selling only two, these three large grown men, and no I am not exaggerating, they were well in their late twenties, walked up and each of them took a large coke, and when I said "That will be four dollars and fifty cents please!" they just kept on walking away, sipping the sodas that they had just stolen from me, and laughing at me.

I was not given as much as a walkies-talkie; so I had absolutely no way to call the security guards, or even the front office for that matter, and I had people walking up and handing me money for sodas, so there wasn't much that I could do about it.

Even those customers that were paying for their sodas were appalled at the low life trick that those men had pulled on me. What really sucked was that I could do nothing more than yell at them in hopes that a good Samaritan would step in and do something, but people just ignored me as if I were not there at all.

Sure, I did think about chasing them down and taking the cokes back, thinking "Surely they would not dare hit a fourteen year old kid such as myself" but as I said, I had people that were handing me money for their sodas, and so I had no choice but to let the incident go.

I continued working in the hot sun, finishing out my six hour shift, and at the end of the day not only was I fired for those three soda's that the evil men took, but the money for those three sodas was deducted from my pay, and since I was only getting paid two dollars an hour, that meant that the first two hours that I worked was for nothing.

A few months later I turned fifteen years old, and since my parents were friends with the woman who managed a local restaurant, she hired me as a dishwasher. However, before I amuse you with my downs and outs in the employment industry over the years, let me tell you a little secret about being a good, fast, and productive employee, which I learned the hard way throughout my life.

As I mentioned earlier in this book of tears, I was born with A.D.H.D. (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder) and for the most part, I liked being hyperactive to a certain point, because there were many times in my life that all of the energy came in real handy. It was cool being so energetic, and I figured that it was a blessing in many ways, or so I thought at first; but it also carried many curses with it as well.

How bad is my A.D.H.D? You might ask, well to give you just one example of my visit to a doctor that was trying hard to cure me of this A.D.H.D, read on. As you continue to read this next little part about my doctor visit, just feel free to laugh your ass off, everyone I tell this story to does anyway. Again, I tell you the truth... this is a true story.

My wife and I had separated after I caught her cheating on me, and even though I was hurt beyond belief, I let her keep the house for the kids sake, and I moved in with my brother and his wife. Knowing that I have always been so hyperactive, and had way too much energy, so bad that I can barely wind down at night and fall asleep, my sister in law took me to see a doctor, which we will call "Doc" for the sake of this book and to protect the guilty and who else? That's right, me!

Keep in mind as you read this next little part about my doctor visit, that I had been going to see this doctor for a few months, and since my sister in law insisted that I give him a try at solving my extreme case of A.D.H.D where other doctors have failed, I always made her go with me to see him.

On my previous visits, this doctor had prescribed me several different prescriptions, one by one, in an attempt to cure me. In fact, on my previous visit just a couple of days before this part that I am getting ready to tell you about, the doctor had tripled my dose of one of my medications, and was upset that it still, like everything else he tried, had absolutely no effect on me at all.

As he writes me a new prescription he asks me, "Are you sure that you have been taking this medication three times a day, just like I prescribed?" To which I replied, "Yes, I have, three times a day, every day!" Being reluctant to believe me he asks again, "Are you certain?" Again I reply with a simple "Yes".

He hands me this new prescription, and as I stand up to leave the examination room he stops me and says "I want you to go back to the waiting room, this will only take ten minutes, and when they call your name follow the nurse. I am going to have them draw some blood just to be sure that you are really taking all of your medicine, and we will see how much of it shows up in your blood"

So I do as he asked and return to the waiting room, and true to his word, they called me back in about ten minutes. They called me back in to a room and drew the blood, and then tell me to come back in one week to see the doctor about my test results.

Exactly one week later, my sister in law and I return to see "Doc" and after the nurse takes me back to a little exam room to wait, I hop up on the exam table, and like a little hyperactive child that has too much energy, I am sitting with my legs dangling, and swinging them back and forth impatiently.

The doctor opens the door, and while he walks in to the room, he is not even looking up at me; his eyes are still fixed on the results of my blood test results, which are attached to my chart that he is holding. I say, "What's up doc, am I going to live?" jokingly, in my usual energetic, happy tone of voice.

He looks up at me, and I can see immediately that he is almost in a state of shock, as he says, "My God you are really like this!" I just laughed and said, "I know, that's why I come to see you!" to which he replied in a serious, yet somewhat shocked tone of voice, "No, you don't understand. I lied to you when I said that we were going to check your blood to see how much of your medication really shows up. I had them test you for drugs."

I did a double take as I looked at him to see if he was serious or just joking with me and I say, "Huh?" He looks at my test results again and then looks up at me and says, "My God, you are really like this all of the time, you're not on drugs!" To which I reply "Hello, that's why I come to see you!"

I just chuckled and blew it off like it was no big deal, since all of my previous doctors were unsuccessful as well, and I associated the shocked look on his face tone of those "Man I failed him as a doctor, I don't know what to do!" sort of looks. It did not dawn on me until a few hours later that it was not an "I failed you, I don't know what else to do" look, it was a look you see on the screen at a theater when the victim sees the monster for the first time.

So please keep in mind as I continue explaining this next particular situation to you, that this is a rare situation, or so I would think. Therefore, unless you too have a severe case of A.D.H.D. such as me, do not take this situation literally. Just because the following happened to me does not mean that it will happen to you. Nonetheless don't ever let your bosses take advantage of you on any job, under any circumstances.

You will see as you read the next few pages, that I was constantly taken advantage of as a good, hard working employee; but these things also could have happened to me because I was perhaps too nice, or an easy target "so to speak".

So I am not telling you not to give a job one hundred percent all of the time, because indeed you should; but in my particular case I found the following to be true.

Since I had A.D.H.D, I always had a lot of energy, which greatly contributed to me being a hard working, very fast, and productive employee. In fact, I did such a good job washing dishes and busing tables at that restaurant that I mentioned where I was hired as a dishwasher, that in the first week I that I worked there, the manager let the bus boy go, and then the next week she let one of the other dishwashers go as well, bragging to the waitresses, the boss, and even my parents about how good of an employee that I had turned out to be.

She bragged about the fact that I was so fast, and efficient, she was able to let two employees go, and that I was easily doing the work that that did as well. I was now forced to take on the work of three employees all by myself, but did not get a raise, not as much as one cent; yet I was doing the work all by myself that it used to take three people to do. This was my reward for being such a good, hard working, and efficient employee.

It not only caused two workers to be laid off and lose their jobs, but it also burdened me with doing the work of all three employee's, and I was always so exhausted at the end of my shift that I could just barely stand.

After washing dishes at that restaurant for a little over a year, I became good friends with one of the cooks that worked there, and one day out of curiosity I asked him how much money he made as a cook, and when he told me how much that he was paid per hour, I came to realize that he made like five dollars and hour more than me, not to mention the cooks also got their meals were free.

Needless to say, I immediately made up my mind that I was going to watch all of the cooks closely, that is... every chance that I got in-between doing the dishes and busing tables for the waitresses. I was determined to become a cook and make good money like the other cooks made.

I even came in on my days off and watched the cooks at work, as well as pitching in and helping them cook whenever the opportunity arose. After about three months of studying the menu and memorizing what ingredients each meal contained and how they were prepared, I finally talked my friend, whom was a cook, into standing back and letting me have a go at it all by myself, just to see if I were indeed as capable of running the grill by myself as I had come to believe.

I not only blew him away, but I also even shocked myself after throwing the last ticket down, and stepping back to take note of how much food that I had actually whipped out all by myself in that one and a half hour rush.

The cook said that I did such a good job that night, there was very little doubt in his mind that I could, within another week or two, handle the kitchen and cook an entire shift alone. I was so excited, just knowing that I would finally have a job title worth mentioning without embarrassment in the future, like when I asked a woman out on a date, because take it from me, no woman that I have ever met was excited about going on a date with a dishwasher or a busboy.

The next couple of days that I had off, I asked the man who owned the restaurant for permission to stand in on my own time off, and help the cooks during their shift so that I could get even better, and he said" Sure, no problem".

Well, the waitresses were bragging on the more than satisfactory job that I had been doing, saying that I cooked such good meals, and made the plates look so appetizing that they got much more in tips than usual.

At the end of their shifts, just about all of the waitresses came up to me and demanded that I let them tip me some money for the good job that I had done. Keeping in mind that a waitress rarely gets a good tip for a meal that the cook served if it was unsatisfactory, I accepted the money and thanked them.

However, as kind of a gesture as that was, giving me a percentage of the tips that they made, that was not what was important to me; not as important as what really mattered to me and made me feel good inside, and that was the fact that by them tipping me and bragging on the great meals that I had cooked, I knew at that point that I was ready to move up to a cooking position and finally make about five dollars an hour more than I was currently making.

Now finally, for the first time in my life things were starting to look up for me. One of the waitresses told me that the owner of the restaurant came in and ordered a meal when I was cooking the night before, and she said that he was amazed when she told him that I was the one who cooked his meal. According to her, he said that it was way better than the meals the cook who was training me had been putting out. She said that he was all for me moving up to a cooks position.

I can't even begin to tell you how good that made me feel. That is until my usual bad luck dropped a situation on me like a devastating cluster bomb. You see, when I bragged to the woman who hired me as a dish washer, she was the manager of the restaurant that my parents knew, it appears that she was the one person who somehow flew under my radar all of those months that I spent so much time and energy training to be a cook.

Even the man who owned the restaurant was impressed with the great job that I was doing as a new cook, and as I said earlier, unbeknownst to me he had eaten one of the steak and lobster dinners that I prepared and he was impressed, so I was certain that the job was mine.

I must admit however that I was thankful that nobody had told me that the meal was for the owner of the restaurant, because had I known that, truth being told, I probably would have been so nervous that I would have choked under pressure and messed something up. I talked to the owner of the restraint myself and he gave me permission to move up to a cook's position, just like the waitress had told me.

As I was saying though, I overlooked one small detail; at least in my mind it seemed to be just a minor detail to overlook. That minor detail was that the whole time I had been cooking and training to move up in the restaurant to a better paying cooking position, my efforts had somehow went on unbeknownst to her, or so she claimed.

Of course, being the squirrelly little dude that I was, I more or less assumed that she knew about me wanting to learn how to cook so that I could move up in the world; especially since she was good friends with my parents, not to mention the fact that I was certain she must have heard all of the waitresses that were constantly bragging about how good of a cook I had become, and that even their tips had increased since I started cooking.

Well, I am pretty sure that without me telling you this next part of the story, after you reading as much of this book as you have thus far, and you now knowing pretty much the direction my luck always seems to take, you have undoubtedly already concluded that somewhere down the line, this happy go-lucky new endeavor of mine is going to crap on me like a pigeon flying overhead in time square. To you I say, "Bravo!" because that just reinforces what this book is all about, and makes me feel just a little less ridiculous

True to the path my life always seems to take when all is going well and looking so promising; that manager kicked my round of good luck smack dab, square in the nuts, thereby detouring my lucks intended path, and crapping all over my hopes and dreams which up until speaking with her I was certain had become a happy reality.

She said that she was very proud of me, but in that same breath assured me that I would not now, nor anytime in the near future, be promoted to a cook position. Why would she say such a thing you might ask?

She said that she could never in another lifetime, find another dishwasher that was as fast and efficient as me, one that could do the job of two dishwashers, bus tables, and keep the kitchen and restrooms clean.

I told her that I was older now, and that I needed to make more money so I could buy a car, and stuff like that. She refused to let me continue training as a cook on my days off, and demanded that I continue working my usual shifts as a dishwasher. When I mentioned to her that the owner of the restaurant told me that I could start working as a cook, she still refused to let me move up to a cook's position.

Here is the kicker; are you ready for it? She demanded that I stay on washing dishes, and busing tables, as I had done previously, but not once did she even offer to give me a raise to do so. Keep in mind that she laid off one dishwasher and one busboy when I first started there, because I was so fast and efficient.

You would think that since I was carrying the load of three people and busting my rear end, she would have offered me a raise when she let the other two employees go, much less now that I want to quit that position and move up as a cook. After all, I was saving them a hell of a lot of money, but never once was I offered or given a raise.

You would think that she would have offered me some kind of raise in an effort to keep me there, and if she had offered me a decent raise, I probably would have stayed on as a dish washer for a little longer, because I really did like her a lot! But she did not offer me one cent more to stay and wash dishes. Perhaps she thought that being good friends with my parents gave her an edge on me, and that I had no choice; "Wrong!"

I was devastated to say the least. In a real world scenario (rather than in my world, "Dewayne's World" as I sometimes jokingly call it) an employee is ordinarily denied such a promotion, due to their inadequacies or shortcomings.

Once again, I must exclaim ever so loudly "Only I could be denied a promotion for doing an excellent job and proving to be the best employee! It could only happen to me!" While most people are held back and denied a promotion for doing a poor job, I was "as my luck would have it" being denied a promotion for doing quite the opposite, and wholeheartedly doing, according to her, an "Awesome Job that normally would take two to three employees to do!"

I bet your just laughing so hard right now you're probably about to piss your pants, aren't you? Yeah, yeah, go on and laugh. I mean after all, that is why I decided to write this book. I figured since all of my friends and relatives seemed to get a big chuckle out of these true stories as I told them, and knowing that the world could really use a good laugh right about now, I figured why not share these true stories with the whole world and let them have a good laugh as well, thereby turning something negative in to something positive.

I have told some of these true stories about events like this that actually occurred in my life, and brought some of the toughest men you ever seen in your entire life to their knees, buckling over in laughter.

Now perhaps you see why I made that comment about being a good, hard working, and productive employee being a bad idea, in my particular situation anyway. Well in this next chapter you will not believe what you are about to read. Unfortunately it is true as well.

Oh, and as I said on the first page, and even this far along in this book, it still holds true "You haven't seen anything yet!"

I wish I could say that the job I had as a dishwasher was the only time I had this particular problem of being too good of an employee throughout all of my years of employment, but that simply would not be true. As much as it pains me to admit it, now that I reminisce and look back in the past at all of the different jobs that I have had, this scenario played out against me time and time again. I even remember just a few years ago getting hired as a welder here in town at a welding shop.

I was told to show up early Monday morning fresh and eager to work, and told that my starting wages would be sixteen dollars an hour, which really was not very good pay for a welder, seeing how at my previous welding job I was getting paid twenty five dollars an hour.

Bet you would like to know how I lost that previous job at twenty-five dollars an hour, right? I might as well tell you how I lost that job real quick, because I am willing to bet dollars to doughnuts that the question entered your mind the second you read this.

The job that I was welding at which paid me twenty-five dollars and hour, was at a power plant that chipped wood from pallets, tree trunks, and such, into little tiny chips of wood to be burned in huge furnaces, thereby making energy for the power plant which helped to light up that wonderful little city that I was working in, and many more just like it.

Well, one of the most important rules that we had to live by, was that when a welders helper had to relieve themselves (or go to the bathroom) they were to holler up at us welders and let us know so that we could stop welding; because where I was welding was high up in the air above all of the huge piles of wood chips, which could ignite with the smallest of sparks from a grinder, much less red hot chunks of metal from a welding rod.

All right you quit laughing... as I said before... "That just isn't funny!" For those of you that did not catch it, the reason that I made such a remark, was because I would imagine that most of you already figured out why I was fired, and yes, you are right! I caught the wood chips on fire while my welder's helper was away taking a leak, and not standing below with a water hose spraying down the wood chips below me with water.

The red-hot slag from my welds dripped down on top of the wood chips below, instantly igniting them into a blazing inferno. Had my welder's helper been there with the water hose like he was supposed to be, I never would have been fired.

To make matters even worse... get this; I started that job a month and a half earlier, and when I started work there I noticed that there were already about sixteen other welders working there as well, during a shut down, and after the shutdown I was the only welder they kept out of all of us.

There were many welders upset at the fact that they started the shut down a month or two before I did; yet I was the only welder that the company chose to keep. To those welders that were upset about me being the only welder chosen to stay and work full time, I simply say this, "I hope you checked your phone messages a week later, if you did, then one of you lucky suckers got my job!" On the bright side though, the place did not burn down. The overhead sprinklers and the on-site firemen put the flames out without much incident, only causing a minimal amount of damage.

They said that even though I did not hear the welder's helper holler up to me saying that he was going to the restroom, it was still my responsibility to look down before striking an arc to weld, to make sure that the welder's helper was down there with a water hose.

Now you are starting to see that I am right about my miserable, unlucky life, aren't you? Well keep on reading; it only gets better from here... or worse!

Now I will get back to that previous story that I was telling you about being such a good hard worker at that welding job. As I was saying earlier, I was to start working as a new employee at that welding job for the wage of sixteen dollars an hour.

I was so fast at fabrication and welding; that on my third day there the foreman laid one of the other welders off, because I was unknowingly doing the jobs of two people with ease. A week later he let another worker go, one of my welder's helpers, and he bragged while we were all sitting at the break table, about how good of an employee I had turned out to be, and how he saved the owner a lot of money when he hired me.

Now here is the kicker; not only was I now, once again, doing the work of three people, but upon receiving my first paycheck I noticed that I had not been paid the sixteen dollars an hour that I was promised, I was only being paid eleven dollars an hour!

Imagine that, rather than giving me a raise for doing the work of three people, which was saving them thousands of dollars a month, he had cheated me and only paid me eleven dollars an hour instead of the sixteen dollars an hour that he originally promised to pay me.

Perhaps I am looking at this situation from the wrong end of the binoculars, because the way I see it, he should have given me a raise from the sixteen dollars an hour that he had originally promised to pay me, to at least eighteen dollars an hour, since once again I was doing the jobs that the other two he laid off used to do before I got there. However, rather than offering me a raise for saving them all of that money, he decided to cheat me instead.

I must admit that there was one other advantage that I did have over all of those other employees besides my A.D.H.D, and that was the fact that I did not smoke cigarettes, so the fifteen minutes here and there that were given to the other workers for a smoking break, I continued to work, which in all totaled over an hour or more every day that I had to turn out more work than the other employees.

None the less, it has been my experience that proving to be the best, fastest, and most productive employee was a curse, and it may be just as much my fault as theirs, because I am too kind and easy going. Put it this way; I had a friend tell me once that if I had been born as a woman, he would be getting laid all of the time, because I am so easy. What do you know; I guess being born a boy was my first stroke of good luck, perhaps even my last.

### Chapter Three

### Workshop disasters continue tenfold

###

Speaking of that shop foreman that promised me sixteen dollars an hour, but cheated me when payday came around and only paid me eleven dollars an hour instead; that was just the beginning of my run of bad luck during the course of my employment there. In the course of my employment there, I had experienced more bad luck there, than anywhere else that I had ever worked, in my entire life.

For instance, one day I was told to get on the forklift and pickup a pallet full of fabricated parts for a job that we were doing, and to drive the parts outside to be loaded on a flatbed trailer in the back of the shop. I started the forklift, warmed it up, and then drove up to the pallet, scooping it up like a pro.

I was backing out of a very steep slope in the driveway, which was very steep downhill, and as I put the forklift in reverse and started backing up with the pallet full of heavy metal saddles and posts, along with other very heavy metal objects, the brakes went out on the forklift, and I only had a few seconds to react, because I was quickly rolling in reverse towards five thousand dollars worth of corrugated roofing material.

I pumped the brakes as hard as I could, faster and harder, as I yelled words that I best not repeat here in this book. In fact, I yelled so loud that as I was rolling towards that expensive roofing material, my boss (the owner) whom was indoors in his office, had heard me and ran outside just in time to see me crash into those metal sheets of corrugated roofing material.

Now get this; I was a welder in the shop and my primary task was just that; welding! I welded in the shop continuously and helped to fabricate items that were to be installed by other workers out at the job sites. I hardly ever drove the forklift, but I did hear some of the other employees complain off and on about the brakes on the forklift needing to be replaced for the last two or three weeks prior to this incident. I even heard them tell the shop foreman about this problem several times, and even warn him that if he did not get the brakes fixed it could cause an accident or even hurt someone.

Even though everyone in the shop knew that the brakes were going out for weeks and they needed to be replaced, including the shop foreman, the blame was all put on me because I did not think to turn the key to the ignition off.

I am not certain that shutting the engine off would have even worked, but rather than the foreman admitting that he should have fixed those brakes weeks ago, he yelled and screamed at me as if the whole thing were caused by me and my recklessness, and the owner; not knowing that the brakes had gone out on the forklift, went back in the office cursing me and throwing things around in his office.

Now keep in mind that I did not have an airport sized runway, in fact; I only had about ten feet distance between that roofing material and myself, six feet of which was a very steep, downhill slope (the driveway leading uphill into the shop). It was such a tight squeeze that it took some major fancy driving to get to the pallet in the first place, due to other pallets on either side of me being crammed side by side as well.

Perhaps my mother said it best when she said "You are your own worst enemy!" Maybe I am the creator of all these bad things that continually happen to me. When I told this same story to a couple of my friends, they said that the foreman was right; I should have thought to shut the ignition off. Even though I strongly suggested to them that it was the foreman's fault for not fixing the brakes on the forklift that he had known for over a month were going out, but they still sided with him and said all the blame was on me.

Oh, I am not finished yet... another incident of bad luck that happened to me on that same job site was much, much worse. One day the shop foremen came to work in a bad mood, he was yelling and cursing at everyone in the shop, for anything and everything, basically for no reason at all. I was not supposed to start work for another half hour and I went to my work area to put my new welding hood on my welding machine.

I headed back towards the break room to have my usual morning cup of coffee, before clocking in for work, and the foreman yelled at me "Where are you going? Get your lazy ass over here and move that big piece of angle iron that some idiot left in the driveway, so they can get the forklift up in here.

Even though I was not clocked in yet, I tried to ignore his bad attitude and kindly do as he had asked me to do. Now keep in mind that I have already given you some idea of how fast I was at working, due to my A.D.H.D, and take my word for it; since he was obviously in a bad mood, I walked as fast towards that fifty pound thick piece of angled iron as I possibly could.

Even though I was clear across the shop when he told me to get over there and move the metal, he started yelling at me again as I walked towards the driveway that it was sitting in. He walked towards me and started yelling even again, screaming "Hurry up! We don't have all damn day!"

As if yelling like a lunatic at an employee that isn't even on the clock yet were not bad enough, he continued yelling at me to the point that by the time I had reached that big, heavy strip of angled iron, I was so mad that I did not care at that point. I was furious that he was screaming at me like some kind of madman so early in the morning when I was not even clocked in or supposed to start work for another half hour.

So being infuriated like I was, I bent down and grabbed a hold of the end of that big, quarter inch thick, twenty foot piece of angled iron, and I gave it all I had, every ounce of energy that I could muster up, not only because I was mad, but also because I knew it weighed around fifty pounds and a small man like me would have a hard time moving it in the first place.

So, as I was saying, I grabbed a hold of that heavy piece of angled iron and threw it to the side of the driveway towards the dirt and grass mound on the right side of the shop. Well, apparently I was a little stronger than I realized, because that big heavy son of a gunshot across the yard like a rocket, and even though it did completely slide off of the driveway like he wanted, it unfortunately kept on going another ten feet or so until it hit and came to rest upon; as my luck would have it... a water main, which shattered into several pieces and was immediately followed by the biggest gush of water that I think I have ever seen, even to this day.

If you thought he was in a bad mood before, you should have heard all the nice names he called me after that little episode. I thought about taking my hands and cupping them over my ears in preparation for what I imagined would be a hundred times more yelling and screaming than before the accident happened, however I could not use my hands to cover my ears because they were too busy trying to block the three foot wide gushing stream of water as it shot a good twenty feet high into the air.

I mean to tell you that this was almost as much water as a fire hydrant would shoot out if it were to be opened full blast. To make matters worse, nobody in the entire shop, including the owner, knew where the water main was, and there were several other offices attached to our building which belonged to other companies unrelated to us; at least until now. Unfortunately they were now deeply related to us in the flooding taking place.

Nobody could find the water main, and as we all searched frantically to no avail, the entire block began to resemble that of a man-made lake. Water was flooding into not only our shop, but also the other people's shops and businesses as well. Lucky for me, I happened to be the one who found the water main first, which gave me a sort of hero status, which slightly eased some of the tension from the fact that I had caused the flood in the first place. I have to admit though, he never yelled at me like that again. Ever!

I bet you are finding all of this hard to believe, aren't you? Well I wish it were not true myself, I would probably be a millionaire, kicking back and enjoying the good life, if a little good luck had found its way to me; but I guess somebody has to bare the sins of mankind and be tortured, so that others will see just how pissed off God is! See; I told you that this book would not be boring.

Well, there were a couple more incidents that took place at that same workplace, as if the brakes on the forklift going out on me, or the great flood of "yours truly" weren't enough! One cold winter morning I arrived at work a few minutes till six, and clocked in to start work.

Right off the bat, the shop foreman hollered to me "Get in that big rig and fire it up! Make sure that you scrape all off that ice off of the windshield and all of the other windows so you can see where you are going when you drive it; and then I want you to back up to that trailer where the other employee will be standing, and when you back into the trailer he will lock the kingpin and attach the glad-hands so you will have brakes. After he hooks you up, I want you to pull the trailer around to the back of the shop so we can load a few more things up before it goes out to the job site."

He then looks at the other employee (names have been left out to protect the guilty, oh and also to protect me) and he hollers to him and says "Get over there and guide him back to the trailer, and when he backs into the trailer I want you to lock the kingpin in, and hook the glad-hands up for him so that he will have breaks!"

Well, needless to say, I get my freezing cold butt into an even colder cab, I start that baby up, and as it sits idling to warm up, I do just as I was instructed to do by the foreman and scrape the frosty ice off of the windshield and side windows. Next I attempt a quick scraping and wiping down of the rear window, so that I would be able to see as I backed up to attach the trailer.

The foreman hollers "Come on! Let's get a move on!" So at that, I tell the other employee to guide me back, especially since I did not have a chance to finish scraping the rest of the ice off of the back window. Next I put her in reverse and just as I was instructed to do; I backed up and connected to the trailer, the kingpin making its usual loud clanking noise as it locks into the trailer.

I look in my rear view mirror and see the other employee hooking up the glad hands one at a time, and then my pigtail so that the trailer would have lights, of course. The foreman once again hollers in his usual impatient, and rather rude tone of voice "Come on, let's get going, pull that truck up here, I don't have all day!"

The trailer is really heavy, I mean heavy like you can't even imagine. We were building some huge gizmos for a rocket company that tests rocket engines like those in the space shuttle, rocket ships, and even the rockets satellites use when they are launched into outer space.

These things had a bottom steel plate that was two inches thick, solid steel, about four feet in circumference, and they were attached (welded) to eye beams, with saddles and quarter inch steel plates welded on each of them. There were ten of these huge things loaded on the flatbed trailer that I had just hooked up to, each weighing way over a thousand pounds.

I looked back at the other employee that the foreman told to guide me back; and let's not forget that while I warmed the truck up and scrapped the frost off of the windows, he was told to get ready to lock my trailer in as soon as I was connected to it, and I was looking to see if he was finished

Well, the other employee motions to me and hollers "O.K. Go!" So at that, I put that bad boy in to first gear and carefully began to drive that heavy load around to the back of the shop where we were going to load up a couple more items.

As luck would have it... my luck anyway (bad luck) as I slowed to a stop and applied the air brakes, all of a sudden the truck jumps up like its popping popcorn, making a very, very loud banging and popping of a noise. Next thing I know, I look into my rear view mirror and see the front of the flatbed trailer jump out of the kingpin and up into the air, throwing some of the heavy beams and other parts here and there.

The very next thing that I hear is the shop foreman yelling and screaming at me! Now mind you, I was suppose to back the truck up to the trailer, at which point the other employee was supposed to lock the kingpin in and hook up the air brakes (Glad-hands)

I was dumbfounded to say the least! I had obviously done exactly as I was instructed to do, it was the other employee who was told to lock the kingpin in position after I backed up to the trailer and connected them together, yet it was me that the foreman was cussing and yelling at once again.

He was cussing like a sailor that was refused his off shore leave, saying things like "You stupid S.O.B. I should kick your little ass! Look at all of the guys that were standing by this trailer, you could have killed one of them!" Then he says, "Walk away from me before I kick your stupid ass... I just might fire your stupid ass this time!"

For the life of me I cannot figure out why I am the one being yelled at, when it was the other employee who was put in charge of locking the kingpin assembly in after I backed up to the trailer and connected it to the truck. There is a latch that must be pushed into the locked position, which keeps the two from separating, or coming unhooked, and the other employee was told to lock it in when I backed up to the trailer and connected to it.

Those same two friends that I mentioned earlier, the ones that said I was the one at fault for the forklift accident, also said that I was the one wrong here as well, because as a truck driver, it was my duty to double check the other employee.

Let's keep in mind, first of all, that "I am not a truck driver!" I am a welder given the task of a truck driver. Second of all, if I had to get out of the truck and walk back to make sure the other employee locked the kingpin into position, then that would have been counterproductive, seeing how the whole reason the foreman told the other employee to do all of that in the first place, was to save time and keep me from having to stop the truck, apply the air brakes, get out of the truck, walk back to the trailer, hook things up, lock the kingpin in, and then walk back to the truck, release the air brakes, and so forth.

I guess the only way that I will ever know who is right (my friends and my boss, or me) is if you, my sympathetic readers, e-mail me with your opinions. I can tell you this much; my mom died of Multiple Sclerosis, and I have bad nerves just like she did, in fact her doctor thinks that I may have the disease as well.

There is one thing that I am pretty sure nobody can deny; the fact that it is wrong for a foreman, or any other boss for that matter, to yell and scream at an employee like that foreman yelled and screamed at me.

It would be different if it was only once in a while, but as you can see from just these few examples that I have given you, it was all of the time. And having bad nerves like I do, whether I have Multiple Sclerosis or not, the last thing that a foreman should do is yell and carry on like that all of the time, it just makes matters worse, because once my nerves start in, I get all shaky and have a hard time concentrating.

Now here is the kicker, and you are not going to believe this, but it is true! Ask anyone who knows me, people whom have known me for over twenty years, and they will tell you that I am the most honest person they have ever known. In fact they say that I am honest to a fault! Now there's one I don't recall reading about in the bible "Thou shall not be too honest, for if a man is too honest, he is honest to a fault and it is a sin!" Give me a break!

One day the shop foreman tells me to go out back and get a sheet of quarter inch thick steel diamond plate, and to cut it to such and such dimensions. As he gives me the dimensions I write them down exactly as he said, in my pocket notebook.

He says "This is the last sheet of metal that we have, so damn it make sure you cut it right. This job is a rush job and we can't get any more sheets of metal until Monday!" to which I reply with a voice of confidence, "Don't worry, I won't get it wrong!"

I go out back and drag the heavy sheet of metal to my work area, and then I turn on the oxygen and acetylene tanks that are connected to the cutting torch. Next I measured out the dimensions that he gave me and marked the metal to be cut with a piece of soapstone. These were dimensions that by the way, I wrote down on a sheet of paper in my pocket notebook right in from of him as he gave me the dimensions, as I said earlier.

I then double and even triple checked my measurements. I did actually triple check them myself, maybe even checked a fourth time, knowing that it was the last sheet of steel and we couldn't get another sheet until next week.

I cut the big piece of metal that he wanted out of the sheet, which was just barely big enough to accomplish the task. Then I got my grinder and cleaned the edges up (rounded them up, thereby taking the sharp edges off of it) and then I took it over to him.

He immediately started yelling and screaming at me saying, "Damn it! I told you to cut it at such and such dimensions" I replied, "I did! I cut it at the exact dimensions that you gave me, look I even wrote them down as you gave them to me" as I showed him the piece of paper that I wrote the dimensions down on.

He grabbed the piece of paper from me, looked at the dimensions that I wrote down and said, "Damn it! That's not the dimensions that I gave you! Are you freaking stupid or what?"

He yelled at me and cursed me like a madman, saying, "Thanks a lot you freaking idiot! Now what am I supposed to tell the boss? Get the hell away from me before I kick your ass!" By the way he did not actually use the word "freaking", that is just a better word that I chose to use in place of his actual words, in case children happen to read this book, but you know what the word was I am sure.

As I walked away from him, I just lost it. I finally had all that I could take. I cut that piece of metal at the precise measurements that he gave me, and I knew it! There was absolutely no doubt in my mind. I mean, God as my witness, I wrote the measurements down exactly as he gave them to me.

As I walked away from him, I started yelling and cursing like I usually do when I am upset, and I started throwing my stuff around; like my measuring tape, and notepad. I walked out of the shop yelling and screaming, and carrying on.

The other shop foreman (there were two of them) came walking up to me saying "Calm down! It wasn't your fault, so calm down" to which I replied "Damn right it wasn't my fault! I wrote the measurements that he gave me down as he gave them to me, I know it was right!"

He says, "I know, he did that to you on purpose. He said that he thinks it's funny when you get mad at him and start throwing stuff around the shop and stomping around all pissed off. He said that he gave you the wrong dimensions on purpose!" I was shocked beyond belief; I literally could not believe what I was hearing.

The very thought of a shop foreman using his position of management to intentionally belittle an employee, accusing him of doing something wrong that he really did not do. Something that the shop foreman purposely caused him to do wrong, just for, as he would put it, "Shits and giggles" just makes me sick.

Keep in mind my medical condition and the fact that I have real bad nerves from either a bad childhood, or Multiple Sclerosis, whichever the case may be, and I am sure that you will agree with me that "There is nothing funny about that at all!" I found myself wondering that if he did this to me intentionally this time, how many times in the past was I set up by him as well?

How many accidents did I have as a result of him yelling and screaming at me for no reason at, for something that he knew I did not do, just for his amusement? Such as when he yelled and screamed at me that morning that I told you about when I was not even clocked in to start work, and as a result of his yelling and screaming at me, the water pipe got broke?

Screaming at an employee makes them nervous, and worries them, scares them to the point that they can't fully concentrate on the task at hand, and they begin to shake; or I did anyway, having such bad nerves as I did.

At that point an employee not only loses their concentration, but now you have embarrassed them, making them feel intimidated, and sometimes they even begin to believe that the person yelling at them is right, and that perhaps they are incompetent.

This causes an employee to begin to doubt themselves, they begin losing faith in themselves, and an employee that does not have faith in themselves can't help but do a poor job!

And that my friend is all thanks to the boss yelling and screaming at them, and belittling them in front of all of the other employees, much less doing it intentionally to an employee just because you think that it's funny when they get mad.

You should not even yell and curse at an employee who refuses to do a job that you tell them to do. If you ask someone to do something for you; a certain task or job, and he or she refuses; then perhaps you should take a step back and ask yourself; "Am I asking this person to do something that I myself would not do?"

This is perhaps one of the biggest reasons for retaliation from an employee that I have ever seen. When I became an assistant manager trainee at a local fast food restaurant many years ago; I would work with my employee's side by side, and help them get the job done.

I would jump in right beside them and help them get the job done no matter how hard, or how dirty the work was; rather than tell them to do a job that I did not want to do myself, and walk off leaving the job for them to do alone. Let's face it! All jobs have that one particular chore that we just hate to do; but somebody has to do it, why should it be someone else? Why not you?

In fact; if I caught myself taking the easy jobs, and giving someone else the jobs that I knew deep in my heart that I really did not want to do, and I knew that I was just pawning that job off on them that I hated to do, I would quickly put myself in check and go help that person do the job (if not do it by myself) and then the next time that it needed to be done, I would make myself do it as a form of self-discipline.

Why? Because I am an adult now and I no longer have parents to correct me. Should I do whatever I please (and/or don't please or want to do) since I am an adult now and can do whatever I want to do without worrying about the consequences? Of course not!

Being an adult comes with a lot of responsibility, and that is something that so many adults seem to forget (or overlook) these days; and it shows in the way that they carry themselves. I was once told to live every second, of every minute, of every day, as if the Lord God Almighty were standing right there beside me.

Think about this now, honestly! If God were standing right there beside me and he knew that I was pawning this particular chore off on someone else because I was being lazy and did not want to do that particular chore myself, what do you think that he would say to me or do? What do you think his punishment would be for me?

Exactly! He would probably make me do it myself, rather than let me be lazy and order somebody else to do it! One of the beautiful things about reading the bible is that as you read it more and more, you learn how God thinks and how he reacts to certain things.

So the answer is "Yes!" I do discipline myself as often as possible, so that by so doing, some day God can say to me "Well done!" Not only for God though, but for myself as well. Lord forbids that I become a lazy sluggard ordering others to do that which I myself had no desire to do. I have had bosses like that, and I have no desire to be such as them.

Anyway, to continue, I had one of the best crews ever! They were fast, efficient, and dedicated wholeheartedly. Why? Because I did not expect them to do anything that I would not do myself, and because I treated them with respect, therefore they respected me in return.

I remember a customer pulling up to the drive thru speaker that I was helping to run at the busiest time of the day, the lunch rush, and she said "Is your manager there?" To which I replied, "Yes ma'am, I am the manager on duty, what can I help you with?"

She replied, "Well you had better get out here quick because you have two employees out here yelling and screaming at each other and fighting over a clogged up toilet, and they are about to go at it!" I handed my headset to one of the other employees next to me and told them to take over for me a few minutes while I go outside to see what the heck was going on.

As I approached the men's restroom at the back of the building, which was right next to the drive thru, I seen all of our customers in the drive thru lane, watching all of the commotion going on. I heard two of my employees screaming and hollering at each other, not very nice words either, I might add.

I calmly said, "Hey boys, what's going on out here?" to which one of the newer employees replied, "The toilet in the men's rest room is clogged up, and we ran out of rubber gloves. This jerk is telling me to stick my hand in that nasty toilet and pull out that big wad of paper towels that some kids shoved down the neck of the toilet intentionally to clog it up!"

Before I could get a word in edgewise the other employee says to this employee, "That's right sucker, I have been here longer than you, so I have seniority over you and you have to do whatever I tell you to do!"

I shook my head in disappointment and glanced over at one of the customers in the drive through looking on and nodding his head in disbelief and I said, "Is that all that's wrong, somebody stuffed paper towels in the neck of the toilet?"

At that point, I looked down at the toilet which was over flowing, and I noticed the water was clean, as clear as it could possibly be, so I reached my hand down in the toilet, grabbed a hold of the huge wad of paper towels, and pulled the paper out, thus unclogging the toilet, and stopping it from overflowing and flooding the rest of the parking lot.

I could have told one of the employees to do this as I stood back and watched, but I did not want to pass the buck "so to speak" and tell them to do something that I did not want to do myself; and I never had two better employees after that

Why? Because by doing something that they did not want to do, and by not complaining or giving them a write up for refusing to do it, I humbled myself and did the dirty task without complaining, and they respected me from that day on, and even became problem solvers themselves.

You would be surprised at how many bosses would have made one of them reach in the toilet and pull that huge wad of paper towels out, saying something like, "Handle it!" or perhaps he would have wrote them up for refusing to do the task and fighting, or perhaps even fired them.

By the way, like I said, the water was clean. It turns out that some kids had intentionally taken paper towels and stuffed them in the neck of the toilet to plug it up as a joke or whatever purpose they may have had in mind, but I did wash my hands in sanitizer three or four times afterwards before going back in to the restaurant.

What do you think would have happened if I made that new employee do the task? If I had forced him to do this task himself, he would have resented me, and there would have been a wall of resentment between us from that point on, which would have interfered with his production on the job. What would you have done? Honestly!

Would you have sent that employee back in there telling him to figure it out and then went on about your business? Many would have to answer "Yes" to that question, and there is no telling how many precious minutes would have been wasted as he procrastinated doing the job, and possibly became upset at your lack of responsibility.

Or perhaps you would have sent another employee in to do the job, knowing that you yourself did not want to do it. Many people would have to answer "Yes" to this as well; they would have sent another employee out there to take care of it.

Sure, I could have rounded up another employee to do that job in which I knew deep down inside that I really did not want to do, but I knew that by me working side by side with this new employee, I was bringing myself down to his level, as an employee, just like him, no better, no worse! I showed him that even I, the boss, was not too good to do the dirty jobs myself.

Sometimes I had to be wise and use a little psychology on them too. For instance, late one night I wanted to clean the restaurant and go home and relax, and I overheard the employees talking about going out to a bar when they got off work and having a few drinks. Yet they were working slow, taking their time, and putting off the chores that they hated to do and telling others to do them, like mop the floors, and clean the restrooms.

I could hear some of the newer employees arguing with an employee who had been there longer than them, because those employees that had been there longer thought that the one or two months that they had been there longer than the new employee, gave them absolute seniority over the newer employees; when in fact it did not. When I sent my employees back there to do a job, it was as a team, that way nobody is the boss, they are equals, and should work together as such.

I, being wise, knew that they were young and wanted to go out that night and party after work, yet it was almost 10:30 P.M and they were not even half way done with their chores. So after I counted the registers, put the money in the safe, and did my chores, I called them together and said to them "Listen up people, I know that you all want to get out of here as soon as possible tonight, after all, its Friday night! So I am going to pitch in and help you! Let's see if we can get out of here by 11:00 P.M"

I pitched in and worked side by side with them, and we were out of there at 11:10 that night. The next morning the manager told me that she and the district manager were amazed at how spotless the place was and asked how my crew got out of there so early. She was totally amazed, and she said that on all previous nights, before I got there, the earliest they got out of the building was at 1:30 - 2:00 A.M in the morning.

My point being this, a true leader continually puts them self in check and works with his or her employees, thus bringing respect, unity, and a sense of loyalty to the work place. It is true! A happy employee is a good and productive employee.

Have you ever had an employee or perhaps even a friend ask you to let them do a certain job that nobody else wanted to do, and ask with an overabundance of enthusiasm? If so, then I think you will agree that this particular person did a much better job than anyone else could have done. Why? Because they wanted to do it, they wanted to impress you, and they wanted you to see their enthusiasm, and recognize their commitment.

All of your employees can be just as enthusiastic if you treat them with the respect and dignity that they deserve. Not just as an employee, but as a human being. A person trying that hard to be recognized is worth their weight in gold, because they will give it all they have.

I also made it a point to continually thank and praise my workers, so that they knew that they were important as a team member. I once knew a man that often prayed to God for help, but when God came through for him and answered his prayers, this person never prayed to thank God for the great miracles that he had worked in this man's life, and I told him that he should always thank anyone who helped him, especially God".

Have you ever had a friend ask you for your help, only to begin helping them and then all of a sudden they walk off leaving the entire task to you? And then to make matters worse, they never even said a simple thank you? What about those friends or family members who only seem to come around when they want something from you? How does this make you feel?

Then this, my good friend, is exactly how Jesus must have felt when he healed ten lepers only to have one come back and thank him. So when an employee or a friend, or even a family member for that matter, does a good job pitching in and helping you, let them know that you appreciate their hard work and effort.

Suppose that an employee or a friend asks you to let them do a task for you, or asks to help you with a particular task such as painting a house, fixing a car, or plumbing, and their whole heart is in it, but they make some kind of a mistake, or they break something on accident. What would you say to them? What would you do? Think of a similar incident in the past, what did you do? How did you react?

Some people become enraged and downright mean when you accidentally break something of theirs, or make a mistake. This can be devastating to a person, because you, the person that they so wholeheartedly tried to help, turned around and cursed at them or yelled at them for simply trying to help, and making a mistake.

How discouraging it can be to put your whole heart into something as an act of kindness, only to have it backfire on you like that. This can literally tear a person up inside, rip them apart mentally, and that is why when something like that happens to someone helping me, I simply say "That's OK You were only trying to help!" regardless of how mad I may feel myself becoming. I simply refuse to give in to my anger and give Satan the upper hand.

Be glad for a friend that is continually trying to help you from the bottom of their heart, for there is nothing better than a friend like that. Do not be a fool and let Satan turn such a good deed, into a disaster and ruin a good friendship.

I have been in that exact situation many times. I would offer to help a friend work on his car, do some yard work, or help them paint their house, things like that, and not only did they not act like they even appreciated it, but when I accidentally dropped a spot of paint somewhere they would blow up and curse me.

There is nothing like feeling unappreciated or abused. I remember one day when I was at my sister's house, drinking with my brother in law (this was in the days long ago when I was an alcoholic; not any more thank God) my brother in law was showing me all of the rifles in his rifle cabinet. He picked one of the rifles up and showed me how to do that old rifleman trick like it was done on T.V, and I asked if I could try it too.

My brother in law said, "Sure, go ahead and grab one of the rifles in the cabinet, they are not loaded" So I reached in and grabbed a rifle and when I flipped it down and back up, I was surprised by a loud "Boom!" The shotgun I was holding had went off and shot his brand new, one thousand dollar, solid oak television.

My brother in law did not even get mad. I was shocked! Even I would have been upset a little bit, as nice as I am, but not him. He just said, "Don't worry about it! It's only money...at least nobody got hurt!" and to this day I still respect guns, but I respect him even more.

Would I respect guns any more than I do now if he would have blown up at me and cursed at me and called me stupid? Of course not! I pray to be as wise and calm as he was that day, every time such a situation arises. If that would have been my oldest brother he would have hit me, yelled and cursed at me and probably never trusted me around his guns again. Not my brother in law, we still go out and shoot guns together.

I offered to buy him and my sister a new television of the same value, but he flat refused to let me. He knew that I did not make much money back then, so he bought the parts and fixed the television himself. That, my friend, is a great leadership quality. Not only did he show kindness, mercy and compassion, but he also put himself in my shoes, figuratively speaking, and he knew how bad I felt, and most important of all, he knew that as frightened as I was, I had learned my lesson, to be careful with guns.

When an employee, or even a friend or family member, makes an honest mistake, do not torture them over it, do not curse at them, or call them stupid and other kinds of belittling names, because other employee's or friends will follow your lead and begin treating them bad as well.

A lot of people would have gone ballistic and said "You owe me a new television; I want the money right now!" But he was kind, and wise, very, very wise. How would you have reacted? Would your reaction have made matters worse?

In Matthew 5:22 Jesus said "But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Anyone who says 'you fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell" Do you call anyone stupid or a fool? If so, then beware! You are in danger of spending eternity in hell.

Have you ever been burned real badly? Imagine that pain, how much it hurt; now imagine it ten thousand times worse and never going away! No pain pills in Hell my friends! Scary isn't it?

So think twice before cursing an employee or a friend, especially over a silly, unintentional mistake. In Numbers 15:22-29 the Lord God Almighty himself said that anyone who commits an unintentional sin should be forgiven. It reads in the bible, "It shall be forgiven him or her, for it was done in ignorance!"

Now if the Lord God Almighty can forgive someone for making a mistake, or committing an unintentional sin, then so can we. It takes a bigger man to hold back his anger, and respond in kindness and wisdom, like my brother in law did.

In my case however, the foreman had absolutely no excuse to yell and scream at me, because I did not refuse to do the chore that he had given me to do, in fact; I had followed his instructions to the "T" so to speak.

It was the other employee that failed to do his task when the trailer became unattached in that one incident. He was the one told to lock the kingpin down after I backed into the trailer with the truck and hooked them together.

Had the foreman been patient and waited just two or three more minutes for both of us to finish the tasks that he had assigned us to do, rather than scream and yell, rushing us and making us nervous, then I assure you that the accident would more than likely have never occurred.

Had he not yelled and screamed at me for absolutely no reason at all that morning when he came to work in a bad mood, and made me angry, then I obviously would not have thrown that heavy piece of metal into a water main and broke it; that accident never would have happened either.

I apologize if I got a little off course here, but I just had to impress upon you, especially those of you with a position of leadership, authority, or even you parents, the importance of being kind and compassionate, as well as patient, when dealing with your employee's, or even a family member, and by doing so, in the end you will see not only a job well done, but a happier and more productive employee as well.

By the way, I realized a few minutes after walking away from that accident that I was telling you about with the truck and trailer, that the other employee was related to the other shop foreman, and in fact was his son. Now it makes sense why all of the blame was put on me. As for me, I walked off the job that day and never looked back!

That's right! I walked away from that job just a few seconds after the foreman yelling and screaming at me, never to return; and they, by taking the blame off of the other foreman's son and putting it on me, and falsely accusing me of being the one at fault, lost an employee doing the job of three employees, which cost them plenty of money when they undoubtedly had to hire three more workers to replace me

Well, enough of the preaching. I apologize if I strayed a little bit here, I must have got caught up in one of my preaching moments. You see, I have a couple of religious books that I wrote that were published, so I guess I was sort of breaking out into a preaching mode when it came to explaining my views on leadership, and the right and wrong way to treat employees.

By the way, the name of one of the religious books that I had published is " _A Sermon to Remember" by Wayne Hoss_ , and it contains the chapter about leadership that you were just reading about titled " _Leadership & Parenting_". It can be downloaded many different outlets.
