

Perfect Storm

The Exes

Cheryl Douglas

Copyright © by Cheryl Douglas

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, including photocopying, graphic, electronic, mechanical, taping, recording, sharing, or by any information retrieval system without the express written permission of the author and / or publisher. Exceptions include brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Persons, places and other entities represented in this book are deemed to be fictitious. They are not intended to represent actual places or entities currently or previously in existence or any person living or dead. This work is the product of the author's imagination.

Perfect Storm © 2017 Cheryl Douglas

Revised © 2019 Cheryl Douglas
Table of Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Epilogue

Sneak Peek

About the Author
__

Chapter One

_Jace_

She was killing me and she knew it. My ex-girlfriend and business partner made it her daily mission to torture me. She chatted up the male customers, agreed to dates with a regular or two, I'd even caught her kissing one in the dark hallway leading to our office. My reaction? I put my fist through the wall, scaring her boy-toy and earning a stern lecture from her.

Cory claimed I had no right to tell her what to do or who to do it with. She'd given me an ultimatum. Marriage. Babies. Or she was done with me. When push came to shove I just couldn't do it. I couldn't put that ring on her finger. I watched what my old man went through when my mom left us. I couldn't let Cory put me through that. So I let her go.

Only we had to work together. Every. Single. Day. And I was slowly losing my mind.

"Cory get a new tat, boss?" our bartender asked, eyeing my lady as she bent over to take a customer's order.

_Not your lady anymore,_ a little voice reminded me. _Bullshit. She'll always be mine. _

"Yeah, I think so." I wiped down the bar, trying not to notice the way she filled out those tight black jeans.

Memories came flooding back. My lips on her. Hers on me. Taking her up against the wall. Going hard all night... into the morning.

"Gimme a Jack, man." I'd been drinking too much since she dumped me, but I couldn't seem to help myself. My mom left my old man because of the bottle. Now it seemed like I was destined to follow in his footsteps.

Johnnie raised an eyebrow, but didn't question me. He just did as he was told, poured, and sild it across the slick surface.

"Why don't you just buy her out?" he asked, obviously reading my thoughts.

I tipped my glass back, turning away from her. "She won't let me." I'd offered half a dozen times. Just like she'd offered to buy me out. But we both loved this bar. And we were stubborn. We wanted to make the other one suffer.

"You two are gonna wind up killing each other." He gestured to the glass in my hand. "I've been working here five years and ain't never seen you drink like this."

Johnnie was my right hand man and I loved him like a brother, but I didn't need to hear him telling me shit I already knew. I was self-destructing and I didn't know how the hell to put the brakes on.

"Uh oh," Johnnie whispered, his dark eyes travelling to the door.

I curled my hand into a fist when I spotted the same punk who'd kissed Cory last week. I'd punched a hole in the drywall beside his head, saving myself a trip to the clink, but apparently he didn't get the message.

"What's he doing here?" I asked, standing. "I told him not to show his face in here again."

Before I could kick his scrawny ass out Cory approached him, slaying me with her dimples, just like she did every time I saw her smile.

She was a tiny little thing with curves in all the right places. That was the first thing most guys noticed about her, but four years of being mine meant it had been a long time since another man had been stupid enough to put his hands on her. Seeing that same dumbass who hadn't heeded my last warning wrap his arms around her had me seeing red.

"That's it. I'm gonna mess him up."

"Jace, don't man," Johnnie said, trying to grab my shoulder. "It's not worth it."

I shook him off and stalked across the bar, going toe-to-toe with my least favorite customer. "What're doin' back here? Didn't I make it clear I don't wanna see your face in my bar again?"

"Excuse me," Cory said, grabbing my arm. "It's my bar too. And I told him he could come in anytime he wanted."

I knew I'd regret the day I let her invest in my dream. She'd been a real estate agent at the time and she was making big bucks. I was a bartender who used to serve her at a club she and her girlfriends frequented. She convinced me I was wasting my time working behind someone else's bar when I should be lining my own pockets. She was the first person to ever believe in me and since my old man had left me a little coin when he died, I had some cash to burn. The rest, as they say, is history.

"Why are you doing this?" I narrowed my eyes at her. "You wanna watch me bleed?" I said, only loud enough for her to hear. I turned my forearm over to reveal the colorful tattoo snaking over my wrist and up my arm. The one bearing her name. "You want to destroy me? 'Cause you're doin' a hell of a job of it."

"Excuse me, Eddy," she said to the guitar slinging asshat watching our exchange. "I need to have a word with my partner."

She grabbed my hand and hauled me through the crowd and down the narrow hallway to our shared office and just that brief physical exchange tore me up. I wanted her hands on me again. Up my shirt. Unbuckling my pants...

"Why do you keep doing this?" she asked, slamming the door and throwing her hands up in the air. "It's like you don't want me to get on with my life."

I sat on the edge of the desk sulking. Because I knew she was right. I couldn't give her what she needed but I was trying to prevent her from finding a man who could. It was messed up. I knew that. I just couldn't help it. I loved her. I loved her so goddamn much that living without her was destroying me.

"I just don't want to see you with a jackass like that." I curled my hands around the edge of the desk as I watched her. Her long, blond, wavy hair was sweeping down her back as her high heels clicked across the worn wood floor as she paced the small, cluttered room. "He probably wouldn't even know how to please you."

And if that visual didn't make my blood boil. The thought of another man pleasing her hit me like a wrecking ball, knocking the wind out of me. My girl thrived on intimacy and before too long it was going to be some other dude between her sheets.

"How do you know that?" she demanded, planting her hands on her curvy hips. "You don't know what he's like in bed. Unless you and he have-"

"Don't even." She liked messing with me and after so many years together she knew exactly how to rattle my chain.

Her full lips turned up in a half-smile. "You don't get to tell me who to sleep with, Jace. Just like I don't get to tell you."

What a joke that was. I didn't even think I could get it up for another woman. Her body wouldn't be as curvy. Her lips wouldn't be as lush. Her eyes wouldn't be as blue. I'd find something wrong with her. 'Cause she wasn't Cory. It was as simple and as screwed up as that.

"I don't see why you'd want anyone else." I eyed the front of my jeans, prompting her to do the same. "You've had me. You know what it feels like to have the best." Was I arrogant? Yeah, sure. But I knew she'd been faking it until she met me. I made it a point to give her so many orgasms in a night she was literally pleading with me to stop 'cause she couldn't take anymore.

"Is that all you ever think about?" she asked, rolling her baby blues at me. "Sex?"

"With you?" I grinned. "Pretty much."

But that was a lie. I missed everything about her, from the way she smelled to the way she felt curled against my chest when she fell asleep. I even missed those stupid antique marts she used to drag me to and the girly movies she'd force me to watch. I missed the massages she'd give me after a hard workout or the way she'd model new lingerie for me. I missed it all.

"I need you to back off," she said, gently. "Please, Jace. I want us to keep working together. I think we're a really good team. But I need some space."

I didn't want to give her space. I wanted to crowd her against the wall and kiss her until she remembered how much she loved me. How much she needed me.

"You can't date customers," I said, biting the inside of my lip. "It's not fair, Cor. I can't deal with that."

She threw her hands up in the air. "Where do you expect me to meet guys? I'm here all the time or at the gym." She glared at me. "And you've scared off all the guys there too. You know my personal trainer told me last week that he wanted to ask me out but he was afraid you'd come looking for him."

I got into mixed martial arts when I was twelve. If he made me come looking for him he'd have a bigger problem than he could handle.

"Oh well," I said, shrugging. "Guess you'll have to find somewhere else to pick up."

"Don't you want me to be happy?" Her tone was soft, almost pleading. "I want you to be happy. Why can't you want the same for me?"

"Sorry if my idea of a good time isn't watching you pick up."

"He could be a great guy," she said, stepping into my personal space. "The best thing that ever happened to me. He could be madly in love with me, treat me like a queen, want to marry me and have half a dozen babies with me and you still couldn't be happy for me, could you?"

I knew those were all the things she wanted and deserved, but she was right. I couldn't be happy for her if she found them and that made me a self-centered son of a bitch, because even though I claimed to love her I was too selfish to put her first.

No one had ever taught me to love selflessly. My old man was a worthless drunk who made it impossible for my mom to stick it out. She didn't care enough to take me and my brother with her. Women just used me for the pleasure I could give them. Cory was the only one who'd ever cared about me. And I didn't want to lose that. I couldn't lose that. Not to some other guy.

"No, I couldn't."

She shook her head, looking sad. "You used to be my best friend. The one person I could count on. I miss that guy so much."

I missed him too. I hated the bitter, resentful jerk I was becoming, but I didn't know what to do about it.

Chapter Two

_Cory _

__

I called my girls and they rushed to the bar to prop me up. They'd known it was going to be like this when I told them I had to break up with Jace. The first days were the roughest, they said. So why did it still hurt so much after three months?

They told me I had to get over him, to start dating other guys, but every time I tried I found something wrong with him. He was too short. Too skinny. He had bad breath. His eyes bugged out. He called or texted too often. He was dead-ass broke. His pants were too short. Bottom line... he wasn't Jace.

My best friend, Tracey, raised her glass. "To getting on with life." She'd broken up with her fiancé after she'd found him cheating on her six months ago, so at least we were sisters in misery.

The four of us clinked glasses and threw back our shots. The bar was closed and Jace had cleared out an hour ago so we had the place to ourselves.

"I get why it's so hard to get over him," Amanda said to me as she wiped her lips with the back of her hand. "He's sexy as hell."

She spoke the truth. Jace was well over six feet with colorful tats decorating his perfect body. But it was his face that did me in. Those dark brown eyes. The ever-present stubble on his squared jaw. The flash of perfect teeth when he smiled, which was rarely. He was dark, brooding. He had a few close friends. But he didn't let many people in. Except me. He'd let me in. And now he wouldn't let me go.

"I can't think about that," I said, groaning as I reached across the table for the bottle of Jack Daniels. He'd gotten me into it. Now I'd gotten my girls in to it, too. Our new poison of choice.

Before I met him I'd been white wine and nice dinners. Vanilla sex and suits. Now I was tattoos and tight jeans. The slow burn of whiskey and dirty sex with muscled guys whose canvas was their skin.

I refilled our glasses and we did one more round. "I need to find someone who's the opposite of him, otherwise I'll keep comparing." I was thirty-one years old and I wanted forever with a good guy. Not a good time with a hot guy.

"You're right," Mia said, tapping her red fingernail against her lips. "We need to find you someone." She pulled her cell phone out of her purse. "There are so many great dating apps, it shouldn't be hard."

"Uh no," I said, holding my hand up as I shook my head. "I don't want to go out with some guy I met online." And I definitely did not need obscene pics from trolls.

"Why not?" Amanda asked, pouting. "That's how I meant Ryan. Are you saying he's not good enough?"

Ryan was a thirty-five year old divorced lawyer she'd been dating for a couple of months. He was cute. Medium brown hair. Medium build. He was nice. He treated her well. And I'd gouge my eyes out if I had to spend even one evening alone with him.

"He's great," I said, forcing a smile. "But I want someone... different." I claimed to want the antithesis of Jace. A guy like Ryan was it. But he did nothing for me. Was it possible? Had Jace ruined me for all other guys?

"While you think about your Mr. Perfect," Tracey said, hiding a yawn behind her hand. "I should get going. I've got to get up early."

She owned a bakery, specializing in cupcakes that were too pretty to eat and I couldn't be more proud of her for making a go of it. We'd been best friends since we were six and her failures were my failures. Her successes my successes and vice versa.

"I just ordered an Uber," Amanda said, holding up her phone.

"Damn," I said, sinking back in my chair. "I forgot to get my pills earlier."

"Your pills?" Amanda asked, looking confused.

"My birth control pills. They're still upstairs." In the apartment I'd shared with Jace.

"Wait." Amanda shook her head, looking confused. "What the hell are they doing up there? You haven't lived there for three months."

"I refill the prescriptions for the whole year so I don't have to keep going back to the drugstore." I sighed. "I had most of them in my underwear drawer, which I took. But one pack somehow ended up in my nightstand, I think. I guess it was that trip we took to Cancun in January. Anyhow, I have to go back to the doctor in a few weeks, but in the meantime I need those damn pills."

"You want me to go up and ask him for them?" Tracey asked, looking sympathetic.

I loved her for offering, but I couldn't let her do that. "Thanks," I said, squeezing her hand. "But it's my fault. I was gonna go up and get them today but I totally forgot. Jace is probably already crashed on the couch in front of the TV so I can just sneak in and get them. He won't even know I've been there."

Tracey narrowed her eyes at me. "Hold on, you still have your key to the apartment? Why?"

I tried to avoid squirming, but she caught me. Jace wasn't the only one having a hard time letting go. "Uh, I meant to give it back. I guess I keep forgetting."

"Just like you forgot to go get the pills when you knew he wouldn't be there?" Amanda asked, tongue in cheek.

"Oh my God, you guys are making it sound like I want to..." There were so many things I wanted to do with him. To him. For him. Especially after a few shots of Jack to lower my inhibitions. "Relax," I said, raising my hand when I realized all eyes were on me. "Nothing's going to happen."

"I don't like this," Tracey said, folding her arms. "I think I should go up there with you. Just to be sure."

A car horn honked and Amanda and Tia jumped up. "That's our driver." Tia tugged on Tracey's sleeve. "Come on, girl. We gotta go."

"I'll be fine," I said, following them to the door.

"How are you getting home?" Tracey asked, looking at me over her shoulder. "You can't drive. You've had too much to drink."

"I didn't drive here. I walked." We lived in a mid-size town in the Midwest, where a girl could still walk alone at night without fear of being abducted.

"You're not walking home at this hour," Tracey said, checking her watch.

"Fine," I said, grabbing her shoulders and steering her through the door. "I'll call an Uber to take me three blocks. Happy now?"

I heard their groans of protest followed by giggles before I locked up with a smile on my face and a full heart. I loved those girls. They were the sisters I'd never had. And the only reason I'd had the guts to take a stand with Jace. Too bad it backfired.

I locked the door and headed up the back stairs to the apartment we'd shared since we bought the building four years ago. We'd been close friends back then. Until he somehow wound up in my bed one night... and I realized I never wanted him to leave.

I tapped on the door, half expecting him to answer. When he didn't I held my breath as I used my old key to let myself in. I told myself that I was invading his privacy. Since there was a rear entrance to the apartment, he could easily have a girl in there with him. Which would wreck me. I liked to talk tough about how I had every right to get on with my life, but I knew if I saw him with someone else I would lose my lunch.

We were such a mess. We couldn't go back. We couldn't move on. We were just stuck in this painful limbo, loving each other, but not being able to make each other happy. It seriously sucked.

Jace's eyes flew open as soon I stepped through the door. He rubbed his eyes. "Tell me this isn't a dream. Tell me you're really here."

And just like that my heart cracked wide open. God, I loved this man. But I wanted more than he could give me. I didn't want to be _just_ his business partner. I wanted to be his life partner. His wife. I wanted to see his beautiful brown eyes staring back at me from a perfect little face that made my heart swell, even when she cried.

"I forgot something," I said, clutching my key chain in my hand as I closed the door softly. "I thought you'd be asleep by now. I didn't want to wake you."

"I was asleep or at least trying to." He propped himself up on his elbows and his arousal was evident through his black athletic pants.

"Must have been some dream you were having," I teased, because we still got along well. Except when other men were around. Then he got all territorial.

"It was." He bit his lip as his eyes raked over my body. "And she just walked in the door. Lucky me."

I groaned, closing my eyes as I tipped my head back. "Jace Andrews, you cannot say stuff like that to me." I didn't think I could control myself if he kept it up.

"What'd you come here for then?" he asked, seeming unfazed. "In the middle of the night."

Ugh. He was right, it was almost three in the morning. Shame on me. "I'm sorry. I forgot a pack of pills here and I really need them."

"What the hell for?"

"Excuse me?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Your birth control pills? What the hell do you need those for? You're not screwing some other guy behind my back, are you?"

This man tried my patience, every damn day, yet I stuck around. Why?

"Behind your back?" I repeated. "You make it sound like I'm cheating on you. I'm not! We broke up, remember?"

He bounded off the couch so fast I didn't even have the chance to brace for impact. Before I knew it he was backing me into the door, his arms on either side of me, caging me in.

I'd never been afraid of Jace. I knew he would never hurt me. He'd lay down his life to protect me, but that didn't mean he didn't have a raging temper when something set him off and I clearly had.

"Tell me you're not sleeping with someone else." His tone was dark and lethal, sending chills through me as his eyes seared mine. "Just tell me. I need to hear you say it."

I should lie, tell him I was because one of us had to end this sick mutual obsession that was driving us both slowly insane. "I don't have to answer that," I said, unable to force the lie past my lips.

"Why else would you need the pills?" He closed his eyes. "I guess I should be grateful you're not letting some random guy give you that baby you want so bad, huh? That's what you want, isn't it?" he asked, looking fierce.

"No." I had to blink back tears when I pushed against his hard chest and said, "I wanted _your_ baby!"

He dropped his head, looking ashamed. "Don't. Not tonight. I can't handle it."

I could smell the liquor on this breath, just like I was sure he could smell it on mine. We were both coping the best we could, which wasn't well at all.

"You can't handle what?"

I suddenly wanted him to suffer the way he'd made me suffer all those years. All those Christmases I'd prayed to wake up to a little velvet box under the tree. All those times he'd promised me a surprise and I'd been let down when it wasn't the one thing I wanted more than anything. All those times I'd been late and thought fate was taking the decision out of our hands.

"You can't handle knowing how much I loved you? How much I wanted to be your wife? You can't handle knowing how much I prayed you'd change your mind and love me enough to-"

"It wasn't a question of loving you enough," he said, shaking his head as a pained look crossed his handsome face. "It was never about that."

"Then maybe you can't handle knowing about the times I cried over negative pregnancy tests because I would have raised your baby alone if I had to. That's how bad I wanted it."

He staggered back, looking stunned as he swiped a hand over his face. "You thought you were pregnant? With my baby?" He shook his head, in denial. "How? When? That's not even possible. You were on the pill the whole time. Weren't you? Or did you...?"

I didn't know what hurt more, knowing he didn't want the same things I did or him believing I was selfish enough to take more than he was willing to give.

"Things happen, Jace. Whether we want them to or not. You knew the pill wasn't foolproof, even though I took it every single day without fail. If you wanted to be sure you could have used a condom."

He shook his head. "Not with you. Never with you."

But with every other woman before. And since? I didn't know if he'd been with anyone since we broke up. I didn't have the courage to ask. Or the right.

"This is a waste of time," I said, pushing away from the door. "I'm sick of having the same pointless fights with you." I stalked down the hall and into the bedroom we'd shared. I'd been prepared for the avalanche of emotions and memories. What I hadn't prepared for the physical pain at the sight of _that bed_. The dull ache in my chest. The burn in the back of my throat.

"You okay?" he asked, leaning against the doorframe, watching me.

He knew. What I was thinking, how I was feeling, how much I wanted us back.

"Fine." I pulled the nightstand open and started rummaging through it. It was filled with four years of memories I'd left behind. Photos of trips we'd taken together. Gifts he'd given me. Cards, letters, all from him. I couldn't take it with me. If I had I would have spent every night home alone crying in my Jack while listening to our song. Ugh. I was starting to sound like a sad country song.

Where were those pills? Ah ha! Pay dirt! I held them up triumphantly. "Here they are. I can get out of your hair now."

He stepped further into the room and kicked the door shut. "Or not."

My mouth went dry as I watched him put one foot in front of the other, stopping only when the back of my legs hit the edge of the mattress.

"I hate fighting with you," he said, brushing a hair off my face. "Making up was always my favorite part."

_Mine too._ "Yeah, well. There will be none of that tonight." I was mesmerized. His eyes were fixated on my lips and I was counting the heartbeats until he kissed me.

"You sure about that?" He grabbed my hips as I held my breath. "I've been counting down the days 'til we could put this behind us and put our lives back together again."

He wanted us to go back to the way we were. But I knew that would never be enough for me. Was it so wrong to want to marry the man I loved and have his baby? I didn't think I was being selfish, nor did he. Which placed us at this crossroads. He wouldn't budge. I couldn't budge. So we continued to break each other's hearts instead.

"I know that's what you want," I said, inhaling the sweet and powerful scent of alcohol on his breath. I could get drunk on him. I didn't even need the booze. "But I can't..." I shook my head, trying to convince myself as much as him. I knew it wouldn't be easy, working with him every day, but I never expected the pain to be so close to the surface after three long months.

"Yes, you can." He scooped my hair up and placed it over my shoulders.

I was wearing a black tight shirt with fasteners running the length of it and I suddenly realized that was like gift wrapping to a man like Jace. He could tear into it in no time. If I let him.

He fingered the top snap, his eyes never leaving mine. "Three months is a long time, baby. Too damn long."

His voice was like a fine aged whiskey, smooth and deep and rich with spicy undertones. He didn't just speak. He could seduce with that raspy voice and a few carefully chosen words. I knew this was the time to push him away, but I couldn't. My friends had been right. I needed backup. A chaperone. Because I couldn't be trusted alone with this man. Especially when there was a bed involved.

"Especially for a woman like you." He popped the top snap, his eyes darkening when I didn't stop him. "You need this."

He was right. I was insatiable. He'd made me insatiable.

"We shouldn't be doing this." It was a weak protest and he knew I didn't mean it.

"You need this," he repeated, tugging on either side of the fabric until all the snaps gave away. "Just as much as I do."

My breasts were heaving with the force of my breath and he watched them for half a second before slipping his hand beneath the lacy barrier. "How long's it been, Cory?"

I refused to answer that, but one look in my eyes and he must have known because he smirked. "That long, huh?"

He pushed the shirt over my shoulders and let it fall to the floor before reaching behind me to unhook my bra. I had plenty of chances to stop him. But I didn't. Because sex with Jace was like a drug. One hit and you were hooked for life. I'd been on the wagon so long, twelve whole weeks. Was I really ready to fall off?

He tossed my bra aside before reaching for the buttons on my pants. "This body..." He licked his lips. "This body was made for me."

He'd made no secret of how much he liked my body. He indulged every chance he got. In positions I'd never even heard of. Using sex toys that should have been illegal they felt so damn good. That was the kind of lover Jace was. Thorough. Voracious. Greedy. Generous. Addictive.

He lowered his head to lick the swell of my breast while he undid my pants. Maybe he was afraid I'd change my mind and felt he needed to distract me. I didn't know, but as soon as I felt his lips on me it was over. He was right. I needed this. I needed him.

I fell back on the bed, taking him with me.

He groaned, wedging his powerful thigh between my legs. "I'm gonna make you feel so good, sweetheart."

I closed my eyes, pretending it was a different time, a different place. Pretending we were still together, in a committed relationship that just might last forever.

He tugged my jeans over my hips and tossed them aside before standing to work on my shoes. They were black stilettos with peep toes and backstraps and he propped one on each of his shoulders as he worked the clasps while licking his way up my leg.

I was already a hot mess when he tore my black lace panties off and fisted them in his hand.

No one made love the way Jace did. He was a master. The way he performed I'd just had one orgasm and was already chasing another while he continued to take it all in. And I wanted that tonight.

He pressed my legs open while I sucked in a breath. "Take your shirt off."

He winked while pulling the soft black cotton over his head. He knew I was addicted to his chest. It was muscular and powerful. His shoulders were so broad, his arms so big. And he had a six-pack that verged on an eight pack. Mouth-watering. That was the only way to describe it.

"Your jeans too," I whispered, my voice hoarse. It was almost gone, but I knew it would come back when Jace made me scream. It always did.

He did as he was told, for once, peeling the jeans off slowly along with this boxer briefs. And sweet Jesus...

A smug smile was teasing his lips, when he asked, "You want me, don't you, Cor?"

He knew I did, but I refused to feed his ego.

"How?" He was making my mouth water when he licked his lips as his eyes and hands drifted over my body. "Hard and fast?" He tweaked and prodded, making me whimper. "Or slow and deep?"

"Oh God." There was no way any woman could resist this man. He was too much. Too hot. Too sexy. Too irresistible.

"A little bit of both, huh? I think that can be arranged." He dropped to his knees. "But first let me start here."

He'd claimed every part of my body when we were together, vowing that he'd make sure I never wanted another man to touch me.

The first swipe made me moan. The next made me whimper. When he dipped inside I sobbed. This. This is what I'd been craving. Not a shot of Jack. Not the feel of another man's hands caressing my skin. This.

He lashed at me like a man obsessed, taking what he wanted and giving me what I needed. He lapped and licked, reminding me why I'd once believed this would be enough to keep me with him forever.

I lifted my hips off the bed, shamelessly begging without words. After four years of regular loving three months without him had been torture. Tonight I wanted it all. The full Jace experience.

"I love that," I whispered, panting. "Jace. Yes." I was so close. I was ready. I just needed... I groaned long and loud when he finally coaxed me over the edge.

It felt like my brain had short-circuited as my body trembled with aftershocks. My heart was thudding, my head was pounding. My blood felt like it was searing my veins. And I was... in love. God, I loved this man. So much it killed me.

He crawled up my body, licking one of my breasts before sucking the other peak into his mouth. Jace was a breast man and he wasn't shy about loving on mine. Yeah, he was a dirty bastard. But he was also a sweetheart. And I couldn't seem to reconcile the two.

He feasted on my breasts before moving on to my lips. Oh God. I knew what that look meant. Kissing was a big deal to Jace. He'd been a man-whore before we met and he once told me he'd have sex with girls but wouldn't kiss them. Kissing was too intimate for a random hook-up.

"Kiss me."

It wasn't a request... because Jace didn't make requests in bed. He gave orders.

I sank my fingers into his collar-length hair and tugged, bringing his face down on mine. I moaned into his mouth as our tongues danced and I remembered a time when he'd brought me to climax just from kissing him.

Apparently he remembered it too because he whispered in my ear, "I want that again."

He rubbed his hardness against me while his tongue dueled with mine. My mind was on sensory overload. It all felt so amazing and I never wanted to lose this feeling. I wanted it to last forever. And then some.

"Jace," I said, tearing my lips from his as I sunk my teeth into his shoulder. "A little more."

He leaned back, scraping over my core with his thumb, and I came apart just like that.

My breathing was harsh, but he didn't give me a chance to catch my breath before he thrust inside of me, hooking my legs over his shoulders.

I squeezed my eyes shut until he flattened a hand on my stomach. "Open your eyes. Look at me, beautiful. Watch me love you."

I opened my eyes and watched him disappear inside me. It was the sexiest thing I'd ever seen, especially since his tight abs were clenching with every quick thrust of his hips.

"You like, angel?" He slid his finger back and forth, and I could have sworn one more orgasm would have rendered me catatonic, but this was Jace and he knew my body better than I did. He knew how far he could push me. How far he could take me without breaking me.

"Too much," I moaned, biting my lip.

"Not yet." He loved stretching one orgasm into the next until I was thoroughly spent, my body completely boneless.

I threw my arms over my head and surrendered, screaming when he lunged into me deeper and harder while rubbing that hot button relentlessly. Trying to hold back with this man was pointless. He always drew exactly what he wanted out of me.

"I'm...oh..." He knew. He always knew.

"Yeah," he said, sinking his fingers into my hips as he unleashed on me. "That's it."

I closed my eyes as he let go. It felt like an eruption and I allowed myself to imagine what it would be like if I weren't on the pill. If we were really trying to have a baby. That was a sobering thought as his eyes locked on mine and he withdrew.

I tried to sit up, but he pushed me back down gently.

"No." He pushed a hand through his hair. "No way. You're not leaving. You can't do that with me and then get up and leave."

His heart was breaking, but mine was too. Leaving was the last thing I wanted to do, but I couldn't stay. If I did I'd wake up in the morning right back where I started. Waking up to the man I loved but could never have.

"I'm sorry. Jace."

I reached out to stroke the stubble on his jaw, closing my eyes when he turned into my hand like he craved my touch. He'd been alone so long. I was the only woman he'd ever really let in and I hated myself for hurting him this way. But I was hurting too.

He leaned over and held me tight, crushing me against his chest. "Don't leave me again, Cor. Please."

He'd begged me before, but I'd had to leave.

When we first met he knew what I wanted. I'd made no secret of the fact that I wanted a baby and a family someday. He ignored me for as long as he could, changing the subject until my biological clock was ticking so loud it was keeping us both up at night.

I hadn't lied to him. He'd lied to me. By omission. Letting me believe maybe someday he'd want the same things I did until he couldn't go on pretending just to hold on to me anymore.

Chapter Three

_Jace _

I'd just reminded her how much I loved her and she was threatening to leave? There was a package of forgotten birth control pills on the floor. All I had to do was throw them in the trash and tell her I wanted this. That I wanted her to have my baby. But I couldn't. I couldn't say the words. I couldn't take that kind of risk.

"So you're saying you don't love me anymore?" Maybe if I heard her say those words I could figure out how to let her go. I watched her get dressed, my gut aching with the knowledge she'd be walking out the door again.

"Jace, please." Her voice was low. Her pain as raw as mine.

"So, you do love me." I grabbed her wrist, hauling her back to the bed. She was only wearing a bra, her jeans undone, and I was getting turned on all over again. "Just say it," I pleaded. "Let me hear you say you love me, that what we did meant something to you."

Most who knew me would call me a tough mofo. And they'd be right. Except where this woman was concerned. She made me weak. She made me beg and plead. And yeah, she'd even made me cry when she broke up with me. Man, I hated that she'd made me cry.

She curled her hands around my head, looking down into my face. "I love you so much it tears me up inside even to look at you sometimes."

"Then don't go, baby." I wrapped my arms around her waist, wishing I could hold her there forever. "Stay here with me tonight. In our bed. Tomorrow we can talk about... us."

She sighed, stroking her fingers through my hair. "But we both know nothing will have changed by tomorrow. You'll still want what you want and I'll still want what I want. There's no middle ground for us. No way for us to compromise."

I knew she was right. I'd seen her with her beautiful little niece. She lit up like a Christmas tree when she held that baby. Asking her to go through life without having one of her own would be cruel and I couldn't do that to her.

I tipped my head forward, resting my forehead against the cushion of her breast as I inhaled deeply, trying to memorize that scent. Vanilla. Sex. Booze. Addiction. It was a potent cocktail of danger that could only lead to slow and painful destruction.

I tried to draw my lips away without kissing her again. I really did. But my tongue somehow strayed to the creamy flesh spilling out of her bra and I tried like hell to use my mouth to draw her back to bed. Yeah, I was a selfish S.O.B., but only because I was so lost to this girl.

"I can't," she whispered, using my hair to draw my head back.

I let her go, watching her bend to pick up the plastic disc. She rotated it and dropped a tiny pill into her hand before dry swallowing it. "See," she said, with a sad smile. "Nothing to worry about. You saw me take it."

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat so I could tell her that I never really believed she'd try to trap me, but words wouldn't come. When she picked up her shirt off the floor I got a good look at the tattoo Johnnie had been referring to earlier.

It was just above the swell of her perfect ass and it had two brightly colored lovebirds holding a banner that read Freedom in script. I knew the work right away. One of my so-called best friends had marked her with that word and now I was going to have to kill him.

"Jude's work?" I asked, gesturing to the tattoo.

"Uh yeah," she said, slipping her shirt on and fastening the snaps. "Don't be pissed. He wasn't really comfortable doing it, but I told him if he wouldn't do it I'd find someone else to take my money." She shrugged. "He decided you probably wouldn't want some other guy staring at my ass for four hours so he finally agreed."

"Freedom," I repeated the word, tasting the bitterness on my tongue. "You feel free, Cor? 'Cause I sure as hell don't. You've got this vice-grip on my heart and you won't let go."

"No," she said, sitting on a chair in the corner to fasten her shoes. "I don't feel free either. The tattoos were Tracey's idea. She got one too. Supposed to mark a new chapter in our lives or something."

I knew her friends loved her, but not as much as I did. "Stupid reason to ink your body," I said, trying to swallow my bitterness.

"Don't be such a hypocrite, Jace."

Sure, I had a full sleeve that had spread into a back piece, but I'd thought long and hard about each and every phase, especially the one bearing her name. I turned my arm over and rubbed at the colorful ink. "You know, you can take a wedding ring off, but this shit is for life. If that isn't a commitment, I don't know what is."

It wasn't the marriage that scared me as much as the babies she wanted so desperately.

"Would you take it off if you could?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No. Never."

She stared at my arm, her eyes glistening. "Your next girlfriend will probably hate that you have my name on your arm."

When I'd gotten it I couldn't have imagined a time Cory wouldn't be in my life. "I don't want anyone else. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"But you will find someone else," she said, gently. "Someone who thinks the way you do. Someone's who okay with just living together and doesn't want kids."

She swallowed several times before her eyes met mine. They were filled with unshed tears and I wanted to see them fall, to know that she still felt something.

"You'll fall in love again," she said, her voice breaking.

"No way," I said, my voice hoarse. "You think I'd put myself through this again?"

"Don't close yourself off again, Jace." She got up and crossed the room before kneeling down in front of me. "The way you were when we met, that wasn't living. Different girl every night, never letting anyone get too close."

But she broke down every one of my walls and made me fall in love with her, one sweetly agonizing day at a time until I was so into her that I hated to let her out of my sight. I was afraid she'd find someone else. Someone better. Someone who deserved her.

"What's the alternative?" I asked, brushing my hand against her soft cheek. "To break down and let someone in only to be... destroyed in the end?"

She bent her head and there was only a sheet between us, but I couldn't think about that when she already had one foot out the door.

"I'd go through it all again," she whispered, looking up at me. "Every minute I spent with you. Even if I'd known it was going to turn out like this."

And that was the hell of it. So would I.

***

I stormed through the door to Jude's tattoo shop and pointed at him. "You miserable piece of shit. I should mess you up."

He groaned, raising his hands. "So, you saw Cory's tattoo, huh?"

"Why would you do that?" It wasn't even noon, which meant none of his artists had rolled out of bed yet. I could let him have it without an audience. "You brand my woman with some bullshit tattoo about freedom?"

He smirked when I sat down in his chair and leaned back. "Thought she wasn't your woman anymore."

Flashes of last night coursed through my mind, making it hard to think straight. "We're still, uh, business partners."

"And...?"

I'd known Jude for years. We grew up together in the old neighborhood. We both veered down the wrong path before we found martial arts and a Sensei who wanted to see us off the streets. Lying to him was like lying to myself. Pointless.

"We, uh..." I scratched the scruff on my chin. "Crossed that line last night. The professional one."

He curled his fingers, begging for more. "Don't leave me hanging here. What'd you do? Kiss her? Give her-"

"Like I'd tell you." Sex with Cory was sacred to me. I wouldn't share that. Not even with my crew.

He rolled his eyes. "So you two back together or what?"

"Or what." I grunted. "Sucks man. Getting that close to her only to get shut down again."

"So give the girl what she wants. Put a ring on her finger. Get her pregnant."

Easy for Jude to say. He already had an old lady at home and a kid on the way. And he wasn't scared to death.

"You know that's not me, man." I linked my fingers, resting them on the back of my head. "I'd be a lousy parent. Look at the examples I had."

He gave me a hard look before stabbing a finger at me. "Forget about them. They've already messed you up enough. They don't get to take this from you too."

I had a blood brother but I swore Jude was my brother from another mother. He'd take a bullet for me and I'd do the same for him.

"It's not just them. It's me too."

It would be too easy to put all the blame on them. My mom bailed on me. My dad was an abusive alcoholic who used me as his personal punching bag... until he couldn't anymore. Sad story, sure. But they weren't the only reason I couldn't give Cory what she wanted.

Jude was cleaning his tools and sanitizing his station when he looked up at me, his eyes pleading. "Tell me what it is. You need to get this off your chest, brother."

I sighed, knowing he was right. I'd never told this to another living soul. "You remember Caron Walker?"

He frowned. "That chick you dated in high school? Yeah, what about her?"

"Got her knocked up when we were in eleventh grade."

His jaw dropped, just like I knew it would. This was something you told your best friend when it went down, not fifteen years later. "What the hell happened?"

"She had a miscarriage."

I stared straight ahead. I could hear her wailing, almost feel her tears soaking my shirt. She'd wanted that kid... and I'd wanted nothing to do with it. I felt relieved when she told me the baby was gone and I knew there was a special place in hell for guys who felt that way about their own kid.

"Man," he said, swiping a hand over his face. "I had no idea. That's messed up. No wonder you were so obsessive about wrapping it."

I used to lecture him all the time about using condoms. I didn't want what happened to me to happen to him too. I couldn't think of anything worse than an unwanted child being brought into the world... one just like me.

"Except with Cory," I said, quietly. "I never used them with her."

"Seriously? I thought you always-"

"Couldn't do it with her." I couldn't stand the thought of a barrier between us, even though I knew it was for our own protection. There was just something so primal about filling her like that. I couldn't let go of that feeling... not even knowing the risk.

"Guess you were lucky then, huh?"

"She was on the pill."

He chuckled. "Like I said, you were still lucky. A girl who wanted your baby that bad might have resorted to drastic measures."

"She told me last night that she'd had a couple of scares. A couple of negative pregnancy tests."

"Not surprising. You guys were together a long time." He leaned over and gripped my shoulder. "Guess you dodged a bullet, buddy."

Didn't feel like it. It felt like that bullet was still lodged deep in my chest. Right in my heart.

Chapter Four

_Cory _

__

"I'm so pissed off at you right now," Tracey said, glaring at me across the small bistro table in her bakery. "I don't know whether to smack you or demand details."

One of Tracey's part-timers had just arrived to relieve her so she could spare me a few minutes to spill my guts. I needed to confess my sins and since I wasn't Catholic and hadn't attended church in years, spilling to my girl would have to do.

"I know," I said, groaning as my head fell forward. "I'm an idiot."

"You were just getting over him."

Not really, but I was prepared to let her think that. "I know three months is a long time, but I was back in that bedroom and it was like all the memories came flooding back, ya know?"

She sighed as she took a big bite of a red velvet cupcake. "I guess I can understand that. Jace isn't a douchebag like Richard. He didn't cheat on you."

Because if he had I would have castrated him and kicked the crap out of her. I may be small but no one messed with my man and got away with it. A passion for martial arts was one of the many things I got from Jace.

"I still love him so much," I whispered, leaning in like I was revealing state secrets. "I don't know how to get over him."

"I don't know how you expect to since you see the guy every day."

Yeah, there was that. "I know you think I should just sell him my half of the bar-"

"You should!" She reached for a paper napkin, dabbing her lips. "He's offered to buy you out how many times? Just go back to selling real estate. You were good at that. You made a boatload of money."

"Yeah, but it was sucking the life out of me. It wasn't until I went into business with Jace that I was actually excited about something." I bit into my double chocolate cupcake with chocolate chip sprinkles. It was my favorite, but even that held no appeal today. "Besides, we built something amazing. Within a year we were making so much money we were able to buy the whole damn building."

Jace had a lot of friends and loyal customers when we started the bar so they'd been willing to follow him wherever he went.

"Yeah, but isn't being there with him now, knowing you two can never be what you want, sucking the life out of you too?"

She had a point, but it was more than four walls and a bunch of memories to me. It was our staff, who'd become like family. Besides, the bar was the baby Jace and I had made together. The only one we'd ever have. I couldn't sell it.

"I wish he'd sell to me," I said, wondering if that were really true. Would I love it as much if he weren't there to share every success and challenge with me? "Or at least agree to work alternating shifts."

"He's still there whenever you are, huh?"

"Yeah." I pushed my cupcake aside and hoped my friend wouldn't be offended. She knew I could eat a whole box of these babies when I was in the right mood. "And I don't know how we're going to move forward. Especially after last night."

"Did you guys talk?" She wiggled her auburn eyebrows comically, making me smile. "You know, after you did the deed?"

I propped my chin in my hand. "We did, actually."

"And?"

"I'd told him he'd fall in love again someday."

She winced. "I can't even imagine what it cost you to say that."

"I wanted to rip my own tongue out." I half-smiled when I made her giggle. "But deep down I guess I really do want that for him. There's a girl out there who'd make him happy. I know there is." _And I'll hate her guts. _

"Sure there is. Just like there's someone for you, like I keep telling you. But neither one of you will find anyone else if you keep falling back into bed with each other."

I rolled my eyes, holding up my index finger. "It happened one time in the past three months. One time. It's not like I'm doing him in the supply closest every other day."

She leaned in, whispering, "Have you ever done him in the supply closet?"

"Sure, when we were together."

She laughed, slapping my hand. "You dirty girl."

That's what Jace used to call me. His dirty girl. Because with him that's what I was. Nothing was off limits. Not public places or kinky toys. In fact, I only drew two lines. Sex clubs and sharing him with other women. Because that was just... ew.

"But no more," I said firmly, crossing my heart. "I may have lost the last chip I earned by falling off the wagon last night, but I can do this, Trace. I can get over him. I will get over him. Starting now."

She held her fist out and I bumped it with mine. "Amen, sister."

***

__

_Jace _

"Hey, Jace. Have you seen my sister around?"

I looked up from behind the bar to see Cory's older brother Carter bouncing his beautiful baby daughter in his arms.

Ellie had blue eyes and fair hair. Just like her aunt. And seeing her shy little smile felt like a sucker punch to the gut. Damn. If Cory and I ever had a baby together she would probably look a lot like this little angel.

"Uh, no. She hasn't come in yet. Why?"

"I'm in kind of a bind." He rubbed a hand over his cropped blond hair. "My wife's out of town on business and I can't get hold of my mom. She must be at one of her board meetings. You know her, she's always volunteering for some cause."

I nodded, trying to ignore Ellie, who was reaching out her chubby little arms to me and squirming. I'd never held her before. I couldn't let myself get that close to a baby. If I did I was afraid it would stir something in me that I didn't want to feel.

"I was hoping I could leave Ellie with Cory for a bit. I have a message in to Mom, so I'm sure she'll come get her just as soon as she picks it up."

I swallowed as I wiped down the bar, trying not to look into those beautiful blue eyes. There was only one other person who had eyes that color. Cory. "Um, I can tell her you stopped by. Ask her to call you when she gets in. I'm sure she wouldn't mind coming over to your place to sit with her for a while."

"Unfortunately I can't wait. I have to be at the hospital. An emergency appendectomy."

"Oh." Carter was a doctor. And I knew saving a life was a big deal, but surely he wasn't expecting me to step in.

"I've tried calling and texting Cory a dozen times. Her phone must be dead or turned off."

"Maybe." I bit my lip, knowing that I was being a jerk for not offering to watch the kid for him. We'd been pretty tight when Cory and I dated. Family dinners. Ball games. Free beers. He was my friend. I really should offer to help him out. "Uh, if you need to leave her here for a bit-"

"Dude, you are the best," he said, breaking into a relieved grin.

"It's no big deal. The bar doesn't open for a couple of hours anyhow. Cory should be in by then."

He placed Ellie back in her stroller and bent to give her a smacking kiss on the cheek. "Tell her she can just take her over to Mom and Dad's house and I'll pick her up from there when I get out of surgery."

"Sure." I walked around the bar and stared into the stroller. She smiled at me. God, she was so cute. How was I going to survive the next few hours without letting her wrap me around her little finger?

Carter pulled me into a back-slapping hug. "You don't know how much this means to me, man."

"No problem."

He backed out of the bar. "You know how much I hate that things didn't work out between you and my sister, right?"

We'd avoided the topic ever since the break-up. "Yeah, I know."

He pointed at me. "You were the right guy for her. I just hope she figures that out."

I watched him leave before turning to his daughter. I smiled and she smiled back. She was seven months old and I was pretty sure it wasn't gas now, but what the hell did I know about babies?

"Hi." I wiggled my fingers at her, feeling like a total idiot for talking to someone who couldn't talk back.

She kicked her chubby little legs and reached for me. Oh yeah, like aunt, like niece. They both had me wrapped.

Chapter Five

_Cory _

__

I charged into the office intent on letting Jace have it for ordering overpriced scotch when the image behind the desk stopped me dead in my tracks.

Jace holding a baby. And not just any baby. My niece. He was looking down at her, a sweet contented smile tugging at his lips as he stroked her fine, silky hair.

And it hit me like a tsunami. That damn fantasy I had every time I walked into our guest bedroom. The one that finally drove me out of our apartment for good.

"Hey," he said, looking up at me. He brought his index finger to his lips. "Just got this little angel to sleep."

"What is she doing here?" I whispered.

"You should charge your cell phone sometime."

I was terrible about remembering to charge it overnight and Jace used to always give me grief 'cause it would die halfway through the day. It would drive him especially crazy when I was out drinking with my girls and he couldn't get hold of me at two in the morning. Silly man didn't know he had no reason to be insecure. I'd never looked twice at another guy the entire time I'd shared his bed.

"You didn't answer my question," I said, tip-toeing closer. His bulging biceps curled protectively around Ellie when she stirred and the slight action nearly did me in. "Why is she here?"

"Apparently your sister-in-law is out of town. Your brother got called into the hospital and your mother is at some meeting." He raised a shoulder, his eyes meeting mine. "That leaves you. Except you weren't here, so-"

"You volunteered?" I couldn't believe it. Jace had never even held Ellie before. But he seemed to be doing a fine job of it now.

"What could I say?" he asked, grinning. "My buddy was in a bind."

And the fact that he'd been willing to help my brother out, even though we were no longer together reminded me why I'd fallen in love with him in the first place. He'd do anything for the people he cared about.

I sat on the edge of the desk staring at the two of them as I chastised myself for indulging in a dirty fantasy while my ex cradled my niece.

"What're you thinking?" he asked, as though he could read my mind.

Before I could respond, the office door flew open and my mother blew in. "I am so sorry!" When she spotted the sleeping baby her hands covered her cheeks and she whispered, "I feel terrible that I wasn't available when Carter called earlier. Shame on me. I was the one who told the kids I'd always be available to babysit, then-"

"It's no problem, Gina," Jace said, raising his hand to silence her while he shifted Ellie to the other arm when she cried out in her sleep. "I had it under control."

Her eyes widened before they fell on me. "Uh, you watched her, Jace?"

He grinned at my mother. "Yeah, and she's still in one piece. Can you believe it?"

My mother loved Jace. Like, I mean she love-loved him. More than she loved me, I think. I suspected it was because his mom had bailed on him and she'd stepped in as kind of a surrogate, making his favorite meals when we went over for dinner, baking him cookies and dropping them off at the bar. There was no question who the cookies were for either. My favorite were peanut butter. His were chocolate chip. They were always chocolate chip.

"Of course I can," she cooed. "You look like a natural holding her." She placed a hand on my shoulder. "Doesn't he, honey?"

"Give it a rest, Mom." I rolled my eyes at Jace, who smiled.

"Let me have that precious baby," she said, holding her arms out to Jace. "We've all bothered you enough today. You must have a lot of work to do. Besides, this is no place for a baby." She nuzzled Ellie's check and smiled when she woke up. "Is it my sweet girl?"

I watched her place Ellie gently into the stroller and felt a pang of envy. My mom had wanted to be a grandmother for years. Since Carter was the oldest he took most of the heat, and now that I had no prospects I couldn't help but wonder if she'd given up hope of me ever giving her a grandchild. I was starting to lose hope myself.

I leaned over and kissed my goddaughter's chubby cheek, inhaling that scent I loved so much. "I love you, doll," I whispered to her. "You be a good girl for your nana now, okay?"

She smiled like she knew what I meant and she and my mother were on their way with my mother blowing kisses and Ellie blowing bubbles.

"I guess I should get back to work," I said, after my mother closed the door behind her.

Jace grabbed my legs, pulling me closer to the edge of the desk, where I was bracketing him in his chair. "Not so fast. I want to know what you were thinking earlier. You had this look in your eye..."

I shook my head. I couldn't tell him about that. He wouldn't want to hear it.

"You're not leaving this office until you tell me," he said, running his hands up the outside of my thighs.

It was a sharp reminder of the things we'd done to each other last night... and the reason I'd cried myself to sleep. Again. "You really want to know?" I asked, flattening my palms against the desk and resting my weight on them as I leaned back, staring at him.

"I said I did."

But he really didn't. Every time I talked to Jace about stuff like this he shut me down. I had no doubt he would again. Just as soon as he heard the dreaded 'b' word. "I walked in here and saw you holding the baby and my mind wandered."

His eyes narrowed, like he was bracing himself. "And?"

"I imagined walking into the guest bedroom in the apartment, only it wasn't a guest bedroom. It was a nursery."

He sucked in a breath, but didn't try to stop me as he leaned forward, his hands drifting higher until they rested on my hips.

"It was the middle of the night." I'd had this image in my mind so long it was like watching it in Technicolor. "I wandered across the hall and found you sitting there in the rocker with our daughter."

"Ah hell," he whispered, letting his forehead fall against my breast.

He wasn't asking me to stop so I didn't. "You weren't wearing a shirt, only athletic shorts."

He raised his head, inhaling deeply as he pressed an open-mouthed kiss to the flesh spilling out of my lacy cups.

I curled my hands around his head. I couldn't help it. This was _the_ fantasy for me. The one I always got off to. "I told you to put the baby down, that _I_ needed you."

His breathing was ragged when he roughly pushed my bra cup down and drew my nipple into his mouth before turning his attention to the other one. I wasn't the only one getting hot. He was too. And I loved that. There was a little voice in my head that told me this was wrong, but I didn't care. I needed this.

He ripped my faded jeans open, pushing his fingers inside me as he watched my face. "Yeah? Tell me. What'd you need me for? Why'd you need to tear me away from our baby?"

I moaned and spread my legs wider. Just hearing him say those two little words, our baby, were almost enough to make me climax. "As soon as we were out in the hall I closed the door," I whispered, letting him imagine the scene playing out. "And pushed you against it." I was gripping his powerful shoulders, letting him have his way with me. The office door was unlocked. Anyone could walk in, but I didn't care.

"Tell me what you did to me." His eyes were searing mine and if he'd asked me to jump on him in that moment and take a ride I gladly would have. "In detail."

"I had to have you... all of you." I let my tongue glide over my lips as I eyed the bulge in his pants.

He rubbed harder, faster, and I shattered, crying out his name.

"Jace..."

"You weren't finished telling me what happens next." He grabbed the bulge in his jeans and there was no way I could turn down an invitation like that.

I shimmied my jeans over my hips while he watched. Then I dropped to the ground behind the desk and worked his jeans off. "We were right outside the bedroom door," I whispered, taking him back to my fantasy. "And I was taking you..." I circled before the teasing ended. "Just like this."

"Baby." He sighed, fisting his hands in my hair. "That's so hot."

I didn't know if he was talking about the oral or the fantasy, but I continued with both. "It was so hard and fast your back was slamming against the door."

"Cor..." He groaned, making my name sound like a dirty curse.

"Just like this," I said, letting him take the lead. "And you were about to let go but I whispered two little words."

He stilled, releasing me. "What words?"

"It's time."

"What?"

"The right time for us to get pregnant." I let that sink in before I continued pleasuring him.

He watched me, appearing stunned. "What did I do?"

"You threw me back on the floor and took me harder than you ever had." I unbuttoned my jeans again and slipped my hand inside. "You were so determined." Oh, I was on the verge of another. "And you wouldn't let me move. You wanted to make sure we got pregnant."

"Cor, get over here. I need to be inside of you right now."

I could tell he was as into it as I was, but I never imagined he'd want to re-enact the entire fantasy. What the hell? We'd already come this far. No sense turning back now. At least I'd have more fodder when I slipped between the sheets alone tonight.

I slipped my jeans off, but instead of allowing me to sit on top of him he led me to the long leather sectional in the corner of the room and pushed me back against the soft cushions. "It's one thing to take you on the floor of our apartment," he said, our lips twitching. "But these floors are probably too nasty for that."

He was giving me this, I realized. This fantasy. He was really willing to play it out.

His eyes locked with mine as he crawled on top of me. "You were telling me...?"

I reached for him, clawing his back as he thrust inside of me. "Jace, oh God..." I'd never been this turned on. We were in our place of work. Anyone could be walking past the door and I didn't care. That spoke to my state of mind.

"Tell me more," he said, flicking his tongue inside my ear. "Let me hear all of it."

"We wanted it so much," I whispered, bringing my hips up to meet his frantic thrusting as I gripped his tight ass. "You were desperate to get me pregnant. You were so in love with your daughter, but you wanted a son..."

"Jesus, Cor, I need you to let go for me. Now."

"This is turning you on?" I whispered, unable to believe it.

"You have no idea. I'm dying here."

That's all it took for me to lose it. Knowing he was right there with me, I burst and he did the same, filling me, just like I'd imagined. Only I was on the pill. And this wasn't real. He wasn't really trying to get me pregnant. He didn't really want to have a baby with me.

That was a sobering thought. I pushed against his shoulder, fighting back tears.

"Hey, you're not allowed to move, remember?"

"Go to hell, Jace!" I knew I had no right to be mad at him. It was my stupid idea to act out this fantasy. I just never expected it to break my heart wide open.

"Hey, hey." He pinned my wrists, refusing to let me go. "What the hell is this?"

Tears were burning my cheeks, slipping into my hairline and I couldn't stop them. I hated letting him see me so vulnerable, but I had no choice. I had nowhere to go. He wouldn't let me.

"You wanted to see me vulnerable?" I asked, glaring at him. "You wanted to bare me? To see what's inside my soul? You want to know what images I get off to at night. Now you know."

"Cor," he said, leaning back as he swiped a hand over his face. "I didn't mean to make it worse."

I was still crying as I collected my clothes, thrusting my legs back into them. "You didn't make anything worse. I did. I don't hate you. I hate myself."

***

_Jace_

I sat staring at the door long after she left. I tried closing my eyes, but every time I did I could see the picture she painted. I was pretty sure I'd go home tonight and see a pink nursery instead of a home office/guest bedroom. Just like she described.

I suddenly got why she'd been so crazy about having a baby if this was the kind of shit she'd been thinking about.

I raked my shaky hands through my hair, wondering how I'd gotten so turned on when every other time she'd tried pitching the idea of a baby I shut her down.

Maybe it was having that sweet baby in my arms. Hearing her contented little sighs as she nuzzled against my chest. Inhaling that baby powder scent. Maybe it was the way she curled her finger around mine as I rocked her to sleep in my swivel chair or the way she cried out just as she was dozing and fell immediately back to sleep as soon as I soothed her by patting her diapered bottom and kissing her forehead.

How the hell had I even known to do that? Watching Cory with her. That's how. Watching my girl playing the doting aunt, all the while she was dying to be a mom. But she couldn't be. Because I wouldn't let her. Maybe I really was a selfish bastard, after all.

Before I could dwell on that, someone tapped on the door. I hoped it was Cory, back to hash it all out because if there was one thing I hated it was seeing her cry. I'd give everything I owned if I never had to see that again.

"Hey," Tracey said, poking her head in. "You seen my girl? Johnnie said he thought she was back here with you."

"She, uh, was. But she must have taken off." I turned away from her, booting up my computer. I couldn't focus on orders, inventory, payroll, or scheduling now, but I didn't want to have a showdown with Cory's BFF either.

She clearly didn't get the message because she stepped inside and slammed the door. Hard. "Where the hell is she, Jace? And don't tell me you don't know." She twirled her finger in a circular motion in the air. "You've got that look on your face."

"What look?" I asked, scowling at the screen.

"That guilty as sin look. Did you two get into it again?"

"Something like that," I muttered.

Trace had never been my biggest fan 'cause she knew Cory and I wanted different things out of life and she was worried I was going to hurt her best friend. Turns out she'd been right to sound the alarm, but I was grateful Cory hadn't listened. If she had, I would have missed out on the best four years of my life.

"What happened?" she demanded. "And don't you dare tell me nothing, 'cause we both know I'm the one who's going to be picking up the pieces."

Sometimes I hated this nosy bitch. But other times I loved her 'cause I knew she'd always have Cory's back.

I glared. "Don't you know when to back off? We're working through some shit, alright?"

"You shouldn't have anything to work through," she said, fisting her hands on the desk and leaning over it. "You're broken up, remember?"

"How the hell can I forget? She reminds me every day."

"Good," she said, looking smug. "I'm glad."

"Get out of here, Tracey. I have work to do."

Instead of obeying, she sank down in the chair across from me, staring. "I've got all night. I'm not leaving 'til you tell me what happened."

I sighed before turning to face her. "Why are you here harassing me? You know Cory will tell you everything. Just go find her."

"I hear there are two sides to every story," she said, narrowing her eyes at me. "Maybe I want to hear yours."

"Since when?"

She'd never given me the benefit of the doubt. The hate-fest started the first night we met, when I told her I didn't do the whole 'commitment' thing, that marriage and kids were for other dudes. I liked to play the field. She immediately decided I wasn't good enough for her girl and hadn't changed her opinion since. Not even when I asked Cory to move in with me.

"Just humor me," she said, crossing her arms. "What happened?"

I bit the inside of my lip as I stared at the screen. Meaningless numbers merged together. I didn't care how much profit we made this month. It could be a million dollars or ten. Money meant nothing to me without Cory.

"I watched her niece for a bit today."

"And?"

I cleared my throat and swiped a hand over my mouth. "Let's just say it brought up some old feelings when she saw me with the baby."

"What the hell does that mean?" she asked, her voice dangerously low.

This chick was tiny, but like Cory, she could go off like a banshee when provoked.

"I swear to God Jace, if you took advantage of her-"

"I didn't take advantage of her. It was mutual, believe me." I thought of the way she'd taken me behind the desk. Man, was it mutual.

"You slept with her again?" She leaned forward and slammed her hand down on the desk. "I don't believe you! You son of a-!"

"Hey, sex is a two way street. I didn't do anything with her that she wasn't begging for!"

Okay, that made me feel like an ass. Because I'd known why she was begging for it. She was caught up in a fantasy, role-playing, imagining me as the doting daddy who was desperate to get her pregnant again. I must be a sick son of a bitch, because I was actually getting turned on again just thinking about it. What was wrong with me?

"This will never end, will it? Why won't you just let her go?"

"Because I can't!" I took a deep breath, trying to rein in my temper. "I can't, okay. I love her, Trace."

"She loves you too," she said, softly. "But you guys aren't good for each other. You know that. You're destroying each other."

Cory had looked wrecked when she left me. "So what do you want me to do?"

"Sell her your half of the bar. Start another business-"

"No."

"Why? Because it's your only connection to her and you can't let go of that?"

"If you know the reason, why are you asking?"

"Because I want to hear you say it. I want to hear you admit, to me and yourself, that you actually are that selfish."

I swallowed the words. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction. "You need to leave."

"Why? So you can dream up new ways to reel her back in?"

I pointed to the door. "I'm in no mood for this today. Get. Out."

"Do you know how much I hate you right now?"

"I have a pretty good idea."

"I love that girl like a sister." Her eyes filled with tears. "She is the best person I have ever known, Jace. And for reasons I don't understand she fell in love with a man who can't love her the way she deserves."

"This has nothing to do with how much I love her."

"Doesn't it?" She stared at me, waiting for a response. "Look, I get that you don't want to get married or have kids. That's not your deal. But how could you let her fall in love with you, knowing you weren't going to change your mind about that?"

"She knew that too," I said, trying to make myself feel better. "It's not like I ever lied to her."

"Maybe not, but Cory, like so many women before her thought she could change a guy. She thought, maybe, just maybe if she loved you enough you'd change your mind." She threw her hands up in the air. "Believe me, I know how stupid that sounds. I kept telling her to cut and run before she got in too deep, but she couldn't. Wouldn't. Leave you."

I'd like to claim that I'd never begged her to stay, but that would be a lie.

"Then you told her that you loved her. You told her she was yours. You were a jealous possessive jerk who wouldn't let her out of your sight. You became this Alpha male asshole every time some dude looked at her sideways, so honestly, what was she supposed to think? Then just when she was about to give up on you, you panicked, and asked, no begged her to move in with you."

That pretty much summed up the love story of Jace and Cory. Pretty sad, really.

"What do you want me to do, say I'm sorry? Because I'm not." At her look of disgust I added, "I'm sorry Cory got hurt. But I'm not sorry for the four years we had together." I sighed when she looked unmoved. "I know you may not understand what we have, but you don't have to. As long as we get it."

"But Cory doesn't get it! She doesn't understand this hold you have over her. You think she wants to be drawn back in every other day? Just when she thinks she's getting over you... you unzip your pants and reel her back in."

I couldn't help but smirk. "Yeah, works every time."

"You think this is funny?"

"No, I think it's kind of sad." That was the truth. I was sad that Cory was hurting. Sad that I'd lost her. Sad that my life felt so damn empty without her.

"Look, Jace," she said, her tone softening. "I really don't think you're a bad guy. I know you love her. But you can't keep this up. Neither one of you can. It's not healthy. You have to let go."

"You tell me how to do it." I stared at her, waiting for the magic bullet. I spread my hands. "Come on, let's hear it. This woman had been a part of my life for years. She's my business partner. My best friend. The... love of my life."

"Jace-"

"She has crawled inside me, under my skin." I slapped my palm against the tattoo bearing her name. "I inked myself with her goddamn name. Every time I look at it, it's a reminder. I go home at night and there are reminders everywhere there too."

"I know, but-"

"No, you don't know." I held my hand up. "You may think you know, but you don't know. She still has shoes in the closet. Perfume in the bathroom." I hesitated, wondering if I should tell her, then decided, what the hell. "Sometimes when I get out of the shower in the morning, I spray it in the air just so I can pretend she's still there with me."

Her look wreaked of sympathy, her soft brown eyes shining, and I hated it. I didn't want her to pity me. I just wanted her to understand. I wanted someone to understand what I was going through. That I wasn't some beast trying to keep my ex on the hook 'cause I didn't want to see her happy with someone else. I couldn't, physically, couldn't let her go.

"I know how hard it is," she whispered. "When Rich cheated on me I thought I'd never get over it."

"But that's just it. That douchebag cheated on you. It should have been easy to get over him. He didn't deserve you and he proved it. We'd known that all along. We were just waiting for you to wake up and figure it out."

She smiled. "Is it true you refused to serve him when he came in here with his buddies a few weeks ago?"

I scowled. "Kicked him out on his sorry ass. Any man who'd cheat on a good woman-"

"You think I'm a good woman? I assumed you thought of me as a pain in the ass."

"You are a pain in the ass." I chuckled when she kicked me under the desk. "But you're also someone who deserves a better man than that. And you'll find him too. Just don't settle."

She tipped her head back, throwing her hands up in the air. "Why? Why when I'm trying to hate you do you remind me why I like you?"

I grinned. "Could be that I'm so charming."

"Yeaaahhhh, not so much." She opened the door, but turned back to face me before leaving. "Please be careful with her heart, Jace. You, of all people, know how fragile it is."

Chapter Six

_Cory _

__

I should be at work, but since Jace was there I couldn't be. I couldn't stand to see him now. Not after I'd made a fool of myself, crying over... I closed my eyes. I couldn't think about that again. I couldn't think about the way he'd looked holding a baby or the way he'd played along with my fantasy, acting as if he really could see himself fathering my baby.

I picked up my phone and ignored the messenger box. It had buzzed so many times I lost track, but I didn't want to hear from anyone right now. I just wanted to wallow.

I reached for my glass, swirling the Jack around in the bottom. I'd already had a couple of shots, but it had done nothing to dull the pain.

Someone knocked at the door. Assuming it was the pizza I ordered, I jumped up, grabbing the twenty I'd left on the table to pay for my dinner.

Jace stood on the other side of the door... holding my pizza.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, taking deep breaths to slow my heart.

He passed me the box. "When I saw it was from our favorite place I guessed you'd been the one to order it. Asked the driver to let me bring it up."

"Then I guess this is yours," I said, trying to hand him the bill clenched in my hand when he passed me the pizza.

"This one's on me." He stepped past me without waiting for an invitation. "As long as you promise to share." He picked up my glass and poured a little more Jack into it before knocking it back.

"Do you mind?" I asked, glaring at him. "I don't recall inviting you in. Or offering you a drink."

He looked around my non-descript apartment. "I like what you've done with the place."

"Bite me, Jace."

He grinned, knocking me off balance.

He knew I hated beige and this apartment had entirely too much of it. Beige walls, beige furniture, which came with the place. Even the carpet was beige. But it was clean and the neighbors were quiet so I stayed. It was temporary, I told myself. But temporary implied a plan for permanence and I certainly didn't have any plans beyond figuring out how to get through the next day while sharing oxygen with the sexy bastard standing in front of me.

"Tracey came by to give me shit," he said, taking the pizza box from me and placing it on the pine coffee table.

"I know she means well," I said, sitting on the chair across from him. "But she needs to stay out of this. I can handle it. You." When he raised an eyebrow, I took a slice from the box and brought it to my lips. "You know what I mean."

He refilled his glass. My glass. And knocked another one back with alarming ease.

"You've been drinking too much."

I'd seen him at the bar, belting them back one after another and it was starting to worry me. He was still my business partner and I knew one sure way of watching everything you'd worked for slip away was to have an alcoholic steering the ship.

"So I've been told." He sank back against the cushions, lacing his hands behind his head. "But I came here to talk to you about some pretty messed up shit. So forgive me if I need a little liquid courage to get through it."

It wasn't like him to be nervous or anxious about anything. Jace was the kind of guy who said whatever was on his mind, no matter the fallout. "So start talking."

"What happened in the office today-"

"Never happened." I ate my pizza, pretending it didn't taste like cardboard. I loved pizza, but my appetite was shot to hell. "And we're not going to talk about it. So if that's why you're here you can leave now."

I couldn't rehash this. Not with my emotions still so raw. Not with this man who could still make me cry on a dime. Like the kind of weak female I'd vowed I'd never be.

"You don't have to talk. Just listen."

"I mean it, Jace. You can get the hell out if-"

"Your fantasy." He stared at me, his dark eyes almost black. Soulless. "It made me feel things. Stirred up shit I thought was buried deep."

I could barely breathe as I suspected he was about to unlock one of those emotional boxes I thought he'd lost the key to. "How did it make you feel?"

"Raw." His voice was gruff as he rubbed the back of his neck and diverted his gaze. "Exposed. Reminded me of a time I hated myself."

I was afraid to say a word in case he withdrew again. When it came to talking about his past Jace was skittish, like a cornered animal trying to protect himself.

"But it brought up other feelings too. Weird feelings."

"Like what?"

"It turned me on, Cor." His eyes trailed over my body, taking in my black yoga pants and tight white tank. "I never expected to get off thinking about shit like that."

Maybe I'd planted a seed. One that could take root and grow. Or was that too much to hope for?

"But you did?"

"You were there." He picked up the glass and bottle before glancing at me and setting it down again. "You felt it. I was a maniac. I can't remember the last time I was that turned on."

He'd been pretty turned on the night before too, but I liked where he was going with this so I didn't interrupt.

"Knowing how much you want this..." He covered his face with his hands. "I don't know, maybe it makes me want it too."

My heart sped up as hope sprung to life, blooming through my chest. But I couldn't go there.

"Maybe doesn't cut it when you're talking about bringing a baby into the world, Jace. You have to be all in, one hundred percent."

"My high school girlfriend got pregnant." He raised his head, looking at me for only a split second before he broke eye contact again. "With my kid."

I couldn't believe after four years of loving this man I was hearing about this for the very first time. "Did she have the baby?" If he had a child in the world he'd already turned his back on it would explain so much. And it would make it easier for me to walk away.

"No, she miscarried in her first trimester."

"Oh." Relief flooded me and that made me feel ashamed because Jace and some nameless, faceless girl had lost a baby. A human life. "I'm sorry."

"I wasn't." His gaze was cold, harder than I'd ever seen it. He wanted me to see this side of him, the dark and lifeless man he'd only shown me glimpses of in the past. "I was relieved. She was crying her eyes out and I was ready to tie one on to celebrate."

If he was trying to shock and disgust me it was working. I knew he'd only been a kid then, but he was talking about his own baby. His own flesh and blood. Could he really care so little? And if he did was that the kind of man I'd wanted to father my child?

"Wow." That was the only thing I could think to say. Just... wow.

"Pretty sick, isn't it?"

At least he recognized that. "You were young-"

"That's no excuse." He looked at me, daring me to contradict him, but I couldn't. "Teenagers step up all the time. Learn how to be parents. Raise kids. But I wanted no part of it. I told her that."

"Even if she hadn't miscarried, you would have walked away?" I tried to reconcile that with the man I knew. Jace was so loyal. To his brother. His friends. Me. How could he walk away from his own child?

"Yeah, I would have." He sat back, crossing his arms. "At least I thought I would have. Who the hell knows what would have happened if the kid had survived."

The way he said it, so nonchalant, made me question whether I'd ever known him at all. Maybe he was right. Maybe he wasn't cut out to be a dad. "So, you decided way back then you didn't want kids? And you haven't had second thoughts? Not even once?"

"Not until today."

I searched his face for some sign that I could believe him, that something had shifted inside of him and he was suddenly morphing into someone else, someone who could possibly want the same things I did.

"Spending that time with Ellie was...nice."

Babysitting and being a father were too very different things and he needed to understand that.

"It's a huge commitment," I said. "Being a parent. You're responsible for another person, Jace. Twenty-four-seven. Through the fevers and flus, temper tantrums and bad report cards."

He nodded. "I know."

"It might be sexy to think about the fun part, getting pregnant, but that's only the beginning."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

"Not everyone is cut out to be a parent," I said, tossing my half-eaten slice down on the lid of the box. "And that's okay. You're a grown man. You can make any decision you want about that. But I am cut out to be a parent. I _know_ it's what I want."

He stared at me for a minute before he said, "I think you'd be an amazing mom, Cory. I've seen you with your niece and you're a natural."

I loved that little girl so much. When she was born that's when I knew I couldn't go on pretending that I could live without a family of my own. That had been the beginning of the end of my relationship with Jace. We fought over it for four months before I finally realized the arguments weren't getting us anywhere and the tension was becoming unbearable. I had to leave. Let him live his childless life. But for me that would feel like a death sentence.

"Tell me what you're thinking."

There were a million thoughts racing through my head, but I finally asked, "Why'd you wait so long to tell me what happened in high school? It helps me to understand why you don't want...this."

"I was ashamed to tell you," he admitted. "I thought you'd be disgusted."

I wasn't disgusted. I was just disappointed. I felt sad for him because I believed he thought having lousy parents excluded him from being a good parent.

"I'm glad you told me. It helps me to understand you better."

"Helps you to move on too, I imagine." He scrubbed a hand over his face, looking frustrated. "Why the hell would you want a guy like me, who thought the way I did about my own kid, to get you pregnant, right?"

"You're entitled to your feelings," I said, knowing it was true. "It's not a crime to not want children. Lots of people make that choice."

"Yeah, I guess so." My phone buzzed and he glanced at it but didn't say anything. "So, this is it, huh?"

"There's nothing left for us, Jace." The last two days had almost pulled me back in. The sex. The intimacy. The fantasies. The passion and love and desperation. It had all conspired to make me confused. To make me doubt my decision. But I couldn't do that. Not if I wanted a family someday.

"I hate that you told me about that damn fantasy of yours."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have." Maybe that wasn't fair to him, but I honestly didn't expect it to affect him the way it affected me.

"I went up to the apartment after Tracey left the bar and I stood in the doorway of the guest bedroom for the longest time, just imagining what it might look like as a nursery."

"Don't do that."

I shook my head as an image flashed in my mind of exactly what it would look like. I saw the glider in front of the large window. The pale yellow crib and changing table. My mom's handmade pastel quilt hanging over the crib's railing. The stuffed animals and soft blocks lining the shelves and his or her name in bubble letters on the wall. Then there was the mobile that played soft music while they drifted off to sleep. Yeah, I'd thought about it a lot.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"You must have imagined what I'd be like as a Dad."

"I did." All the time.

"What did you see in me that made you think I'd be a good one?"

My breath stuttered because I never expected him to ask me this question, yet I had a ready answer because I'd thought about it so many times. "You may be tough on the outside. Brash and crude sometimes. Unyielding. Stubborn." I smiled when he nodded in acknowledgement. "But there's another side to you. A side not many people get to see, but I did."

"Tell me," he whispered, edging forward on the couch. "Tell me what you see in me that I can't see in myself."

"You can also be gentle and sweet and protective. You took such good care of me. You'd never let anyone or anything hurt me. Making me happy was the most important thing in the world to you." I smiled, thinking he'd been everything I'd ever wanted in a boyfriend. He would have been an amazing husband. "I just thought a man who treats the woman he loves that way would naturally treat his baby that way. Especially if that baby were a product of us, our love."

"I never allowed myself to think about that," he said, looking thoughtful.

"What's that?"

"They'd be a part of us. You and me."

"Yeah."

"Your eyes," he whispered, his eyes gliding over me. "Your hair. Your sweet smile."

"Jace, stop." I couldn't do this anymore. It was too painful. "Please, I think we've said all we need to say on this. It's not going to happen. We've both made peace with that."

He stared at me, as though he wanted to say more, but finally stood, walking to the door.

Trying to ease the tension, I pointed at the pizza box. "You didn't eat. You want to take some with you?"

"No, thanks." He turned and pulled me into his arms, letting my head rest against his solid chest as he stroked my hair. "I love you so much, girl. You gotta know that."

"I do." But whoever said love was enough was a damn liar.

***

I'd finally hauled my lazy butt to the doctor's office to get my prescription refilled, but of course he made me go through the annual checkup too. We were sitting at his desk after I'd redressed and he was reviewing my file.

"Hm, I see here you haven't been taking the pill for the last month." He looked up at me, his steel-framed glasses perched on the end of his nose. "Have you decided to use an alternative form of birth control instead?"

I stared at him before shaking my head as I reached into my purse. "I have been taking the pill," I said, thrusting the packet I'd retrieved from Jace's apartment at him. "See. I had an extra one left over."

He frowned as he looked at his computer screen. "That can't be right. You came to see me one year ago last month. On the tenth. Unless the pharmacy made a mistake?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. All I know is I had the pills so I took them. I knew I had to come in and renew my prescription before I ran out, so here I am."

The white-haired doctor flipped the plastic disc over and pushed his glasses back up on his nose. "Cory, these pills have expired. How long have you had them?"

My stomach dropped as I snatched them out of his hand. He was old. He'd probably misread the small print. They couldn't be expired. I took them on the trip with us and they'd worked just fine. _Maybe you weren't ovulating then idiot,_ a little voice in my head chided.

Oh my God! He was right. They'd expired two years ago. "I... don't know. They were shoved in the back of a drawer. I didn't even think to look at the date." I wasn't even sure I knew that birth control pills had an expiration date.

"Do you and your partner use any other form of birth control?" he asked, gently. "Condoms, maybe?"

"No." I shook my head, feeling nauseous. This could not be happening. Not now. Not after the talk I'd had with Jace last night. "Just the pill."

"You started taking these a couple of days ago?" he asked, pulling out an old-fashioned desktop calendar only doctors seemed to favor.

"Yes."

"Can you tell me when the first day of your last cycle was?"

My hands were shaking when I took the calendar from him and tried to remember. I was terrible at keeping track of this, but I was able to pinpoint it. It was a Monday. Two weeks ago today. I remember because I thought cramps were a lousy way to start the week.

"Here," I said, pointing at the big black number as I passed it back to him.

He nodded. "And have you had unprotected sex in the last seventy-two hours?"

Unprotected sex. Oh God. "I didn't mean to," I said, biting my lips as tears welled in my eyes. "I mean, I didn't know the pills had expired."

"Then you have had intercourse?" he asked gently.

I held up two shaky fingers and whispered, "Twice."

He took his glasses off and sank back in his leather swivel chair with a heavy sigh. "I can tell you won't be thrilled to hear this, but based on the regularity of your cycle that would have been your fertile period."

"No," I said, still in denial. "That's not possible." I stabbed a finger at the pill packet that had potentially ruined my life. "Those may have worked. I mean, I know they may not be _as_ effective, but there's still a chance they could have protected me, right?"

He frowned like he thought I was daft, but didn't say as much. "The potency of any product two years past its expiration date can't be relied upon, my dear."

He was talking to me like an innocent teenager who didn't understand what her body was capable of. I was a grown woman who'd been sexually active for more years than I cared to count. And I'd made a mistake, a potentially huge, life-altering mistake, but I was big girl. I could deal with the consequences, right?

"So, can I find out now if I'm pregnant?" I wasn't sure I was ready to know the truth, but at least if I was I could start taking better care of myself. Start eating better, taking vitamins, quit drinking... Oh my God, the alcohol.

"I've been drinking," I blurted out. "Could that harm the baby? I mean, if I am pregnant?"

He smiled, looking sympathetic. "You certainly shouldn't drink while you're pregnant, but many women have had a glass or two before they realized they were pregnant and it's produced no ill side effects."

"Okay, good." I took a deep breath. No more Jack for me. I was okay with that. Anything to protect my baby. My hand drifted to my flat stomach as the realization hit me. I could be pregnant!

"You asked about a pregnancy test," the doctor said. "I'm afraid it's a bit too early to tell. A blood test can detect hCG, which is the pregnancy hormone, six to eight days after ovulation. A home pregnancy test can detect it a day or two after your period is due to start."

"Are you telling me I have to wait two more weeks to find out if I'm pregnant?" I'd go crazy waiting.

"I'm afraid so," he said, looking sympathetic. "We could order a blood test next week, but I'd suggest waiting until you're able to do a home test. If it's positive, come back and see me and we'll confirm, then get you started on a good prenatal regime."

I watched him scribble something on his notepad. "I assume you want a refill on your birth control pills in the event you're not pregnant?"

I nodded dumbly as my mind tried to process everything. "But, um, is it safe for me to take those over the next couple of weeks, before I find out for sure?"

"You could," he said, handing me the slip of paper. "There are studies going on all the time. There have been a few that indicated a slightly higher risk of birth defects or ectopic pregnancy while using the pill in the early stages of pregnancy, but-"

"I won't take them," I said, shaking my head firmly. "Not until I know for sure." I wouldn't do anything to knowingly put my baby at risk.

"If that's the way you feel," the doctor said. "I would suggest your partner use a condom to-"

"I don't have a partner," I blurted, feeling myself blush. "I mean, I do. But he's my ex-boyfriend. We're not together anymore." Duh. That's what ex usually means.

"I see."

"So abstaining from sex for the next two weeks won't be a problem." God, why couldn't I quit babbling and wasting this poor man's time and just haul ass out of there? I stood, thrusting my hand out before shoving the prescription in my purse. "Thank you, Dr. Tate. I'll see you soon. Or not. I don't know. Maybe."

He closed both of his hands over mine before he said, "Just relax. You don't know anything for sure. Pregnancy is a strong possibility, not a foregone conclusion. You may not be pregnant."

But I may be. What the hell was I going to do now?

Chapter Seven

_Jace _

__

I got the distinct impression Cory had been trying to avoid me lately so I finally cornered her in the office before the rush started, determined to hash it out. If we were going to work together we had to actually talk to each other.

It had been two weeks since our talk in her apartment and I'd been dealing with some weird shit so I'd let her keep to herself. Those things she said about a baby of our own coupled with that damn erotic fantasy was conspiring to make me start thinking about possibilities I never had before.

I'd find myself glimpsing into baby strollers when I passed them on the street or bending to pick up a dropped rattle in the park. I even smiled at a tiny pink dress in the window of a baby boutique the other day. What the hell was happening to me?

"Hey."

She started at the sound of my voice before reaching for the bottle of water on her desk.

I held up the bottle of Jack and two glasses I'd brought in with me. "You want a hit?"

She looked at the bottle longingly before shaking her head firmly. "No thanks, I'm good."

I circled the desk while I poured, reading the computer screen she'd been working on. "Scheduling problems?"

She sighed. "That new waitress you hired isn't very reliable. She's called in sick twice and I've had to either fill in myself or scramble to find a last minute replacement." She glared at me. "Maybe from now on you should try hiring with your big head instead of the little one, huh?"

"Hey," I said, holding my hand up. "I didn't even notice the size of her-"

"Don't mess with me today, Jace. I'm not in the mood."

"I can see that." I set my glass down on the desk and started massaging her shoulders. "You wanna talk about it?"

She sighed, rolling her neck while I worked on a knot. She was tight as hell, but not in the way I usually enjoyed.

"I'm just so tired," she said, sounding thoroughly exhausted. "I haven't been sleeping much."

"Things are going well around here," I said, trying to reassure her. "We're up twenty percent over this time last year."

"I know, it's not that."

She seemed down, not her usual feisty self, and I hated that. "Babe, if you need a few days off to regroup, take it. I can handle things around here."

"Thanks," she said, patting my hand. "But it'll take a lot longer than that to work through the mess I'm dealing with."

I sat on the edge of the desk facing her. "Cory, talk to me." When she didn't respond, I grabbed her hand. "I'd like to think we're past all that awkwardness. I thought we were finally getting back to a good place-"

"Why? Because I was sleeping with you again?"

I'll admit that question made me hot, but I was really trying to be a good guy here. A strong shoulder for her to lean on. "Is that all your ever think about?" I teased, reaching for her hand. At least I got a small smile out of her. "Come on, are you not happy here anymore? Is being around me too hard for you?" I wiggled my eyebrows, only half-joking. "You want to tear my clothes off every time you see me, right?"

"Stop it." She laughed before withdrawing her hand and slapping my leg. "You're not supposed to be able to make me laugh right now. I'm too stressed out."

"I'd be happy to come over later and give you a full body massage if the neck rub didn't do the trick."

"Jace..." She drew a deep breath. "That can't happen again. The sex. It's over."

"Is there someone else?" I hadn't seen Eddy the douchebag hanging around lately, but that didn't mean she wasn't seeing him outside of the bar like I'd asked. Or maybe she'd met someone new and she was afraid to tell me. Could that be the cause of her stress?

"There's no one else."

Thank God. "So, what's the problem then?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest.

"I was thinking maybe you were right, maybe I should sell you my half of the bar."

I felt like someone had sucker punched me. "What the hell, Cor? I thought you were dead set against that?"

She shrugged. "I've been thinking about it and maybe it's for the best." She gestured from me to her. "This probably isn't healthy. You and me working together."

"Bullshit. We're a great team and you know it." There was more to this sudden change of heart than she was letting on and I wasn't going to let up until she clued me in.

"We were a great team," she said, sounding hesitant. "When we were a couple. But now that we're not together anymore it's just too hard to keep doing this. I know you agree with me."

No, I didn't. The thought of not seeing Cory every day, or at all, made me wanna puke. "This is our baby. How can you bail on me now?"

"This is not our baby," she whispered, refusing to look at me. "This is our bar. A business to buy or sell."

"Since when?" I asked, still not convinced.

"Since my priorities started to shift. I realized there are more important things in life than trying to hang on to a business."

"Like what?"

She sighed, sinking back in the chair. "Like taking care of myself, for one."

I immediately went on high alert. "What are saying? You haven't been feeling well? Have you seen a doctor?" Now that she mentioned it she did look a little pale and she mentioned being tired. And she'd been lying low lately, keeping quiet. That wasn't like her.

"I've seen a doctor," she said, biting her lip. "It's nothing. I'm fine. I just, uh, need to take better care of myself. Eat better. Get more rest. Start taking some vitamins."

I glanced at the glass on the desk, the one I had yet to touch. "Here," I said, thrusting it into her hand. "Take this. You need to just chill, relax a little."

"No!" She pushed it back into my hand. "This is the last thing I need right now."

"Cor," I said, sighing. "You need to tell me what's going on. Maybe I can help?"

"You can't," she said, looking miserable. "I have to figure this one out on my own." She stood, but leaned over to kiss me on the cheek. "But thanks for caring."

"Hey," I said, grabbing her wrist before she could get away. "I'll always care about you, baby. You know that."

She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around my neck, holding on tight. "You don't know how much I needed that," she whispered, when she finally pulled away and looked me in the eye. "Just to feel your arms around me, to lean on you, just for a minute..."

"Remember," I said, brushing my thumbs over her cheeks. "Anytime you need me, I'm right here."

She nodded before reaching for her purse. "I think we're covered for tonight, so I'm just going to-" She covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes wide.

I watched her run into the adjoining bathroom and listened to her lose her lunch. Man, she wasn't kidding about needing a break from this place. She'd let herself get so rundown she'd actually gotten the flu, something that never happened.

I grabbed the bottled water she left behind and took it to her. "Here, thought you might need this."

She grimaced, looking mortified as she wiped the sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand. "Thanks. Sorry, about that."

"No problem." I stood beside the sink, rubbing her back as she washed her hands and brushed her teeth with the toothbrush she kept there. "You feel a bit better now?"

She nodded, unable to meet my gaze in the mirror. "I think I'm just gonna head home now and crawl into bed. I just need to sleep it off."

"Take a few days. I'm serious. Even if you do wake up feeling better, I don't want to see you in here tomorrow."

"I have to get up early in the morning anyhow," she said, groaning when she finally looked at her reflection in the mirror. She tried to rub away the streaks of smeared eyeliner, to no avail.

"Why? What's so important it can't wait 'til you're feeling better?"

"Doctor's appointment. Then I have a job interview."

"What?"

"I meant what I said about selling you the bar." She looked at me in the mirror. "I think I'm going to go back to selling real estate. You know I've kept my license, just in case. I have an appointment with my old brokerage in the morning."

"What the hell?" I asked, grabbing her shoulders and turning her to face me. "How long have you been thinking about this?"

"A couple of weeks," she said, shrugging off my touch.

So since we'd had the talk in her apartment. I shouldn't have been too surprised that had been the catalyst. No wonder she wanted to cut all ties with me now. A man who'd been relieved his girlfriend miscarried wasn't the kind Cory would want in her life.

"And you're waiting until now to tell me? Don't you think you should have..." I paused, looking at her a little closer. "You said you'd already been the doctor and he said you were fine. Why the hell do you have to go back tomorrow?"

"I, uh, just have to get a prescription for some... vitamins."

"Since when do they give prescriptions for vitamins?"

She bit her lip. "I've been a little run down lately. Probably wants to check my iron, maybe give me iron pills."

"Something isn't adding up. First you-"

"Will you stop interrogating me! I feel like shit. I can't deal with this right now."

I watched her storm out of the room and heard her slam the door to the outer office before I pulled my phone out and fired off a text to Tracey. If anyone could tell me what was going on with Cory it would be her.

***

I was surprised Tracey had agreed to let me come over, but when I arrived she invited me into her tidy bungalow and offered me a cup of coffee.

When we were sitting in her living room with her spoiled cat curled up in her lap, I asked, "What the hell's going on with Cor? And don't tell me nothing 'cause I know that's bullshit."

"You're not dragging me into this, Jace. This is between you and Cory."

I set my mug down on the coffee table. "Then you admit there is something going on? Something I don't know?"

She focused all of her attention on the purring cat, stroking him gently. "How should I know what you know?"

She wasn't making any sense, a sure sign she was nervous. "What are you two trying to hide from me? Is Cory sick?"

Her head shot up and her eyes softened. She must have spotted the fear in mine. "No, it's nothing like that. She's fine."

"Then what is it?" I asked, throwing my arms up in the air. "Why does she want to sell her half of the business all of a sudden? Why is she going back to selling real estate?"

"She made a lot of money in real estate," Tracey said, carefully. "And she has been talking about buying a little house lately. Maybe she figures if she sold her half of the bar and got back into real estate, she could do that."

This wasn't adding up. I knew Cory wasn't a big spender. She had a lot of money saved, more than enough for a down payment on a house. And she'd made as much working with me last year as she had her best year in real estate.

"She told me she's not seeing anyone. That true?"

"She's not," Tracey said, definitively. "This has nothing to do with another man."

"Then what the hell am I missing?"

She drew a deep breath, finally focusing her eyes on me. "I think she's just come to the realization there's no going back for you two. That only gives her one other option: to move forward without you."

"Did she tell you what I told her?" I knew these girls shared everything and since I hadn't sworn Cory to secrecy, I wouldn't be surprised if she'd confided in her best friend. "About what happened back in high school?"

"Um yeah, she mentioned it."

"Is that when she decided to cut ties with me?" God, this was killing me. If I'd known she was going to react this way I never would have told her the truth. "I mean, the last two weeks she's barely been able to look me in the eye."

"I'm not surprised," Tracey mumbled.

"But we had this moment tonight where she wrapped her arms around me and I got the feeling she really needed me, ya know? Like she was holding back, but didn't want to. Any idea what that was about?"

She shook her head slowly, her eyes never leaving that damned cat.

"You're lying. Why are you both lying to me? What is she trying to hide?"

"You're going to have to give her some time," she said, gently. "Please don't push her too hard right now, Jace. That's the last thing she needs."

"So, what are you saying?" Now I was getting pissed. "That I should just roll over and give her whatever the hell she wants? Sell her the business? Let her walk out of my life?"

"You really don't have a choice. Even if you don't want to buy her share of the bar someone else will. It's a very profitable business."

"No one else is going to get their goddamn hands on that bar. It's mine. And hers." I rubbed my hand over my forehead. "Damn it, it's ours. And I want it to go on being ours. I need her. I don't know if I can do it without her."

She looked sympathetic when she said, "You'll be just fine running it without her. You know that place like the back of your hand."

"That's not the point. I don't want to run it without her."

"But she said you'd offered to buy her share a dozen times."

"Sure, when I was hurt and pissed that she'd dumped me. When I saw her kissing that ass-"

"You know she didn't kiss him, right?"

My head snapped up. "What?"

"You may have thought you saw them kissing, but what you saw was him kissing her. After you left, she told him she was only interested in him as a friend."

"Why?"

She slapped her palm against her forehead. "Isn't it obvious? She wasn't over you. She didn't want to drag someone else into the drama."

"What am I going to do?" I groaned, sinking back in the cushions. "I still love that girl so damn much. This is killing me."

"You love her?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Prove it. Give her what she's asking for. Her freedom."

Chapter Eight

_Cory _

I tried pulling the blanket over my head when someone knocked on my door. I knew I should have moved to a security building. Then I wouldn't have anyone bothering me when I was trying to wallow.

I sat up straighter when I heard a key in the lock. "What-"

Tracey shook her head at me. "You should have known when you gave this to me that I'd actually use it."

"That was supposed to be for emergencies," I muttered, sinking beneath the heavy blanket.

"This is an emergency," she said, pushing my feet out of the way so she could sit at the end of the couch. "Jace came by to see me tonight. He has a lot of questions."

I groaned, pulling the blanket over my head. "Probably because I threw up in front of him tonight."

"He did ask if you were sick," she confirmed. "But he also asked why you were suddenly so willing to sell him the business."

"Ugh. I should have known this wouldn't be easy."

"How the hell do you expect it to be easy?" She slapped my calf. "You're pregnant with his baby."

"A baby he doesn't want."

"I don't care what you say. You have to tell him."

"I don't have to do anything." But I knew she was right. I wasn't like that. I couldn't keep him in the dark about something so epic. Even if he did hate me for being stupid enough to let it happen.

"Don't be a bitch, Cor. You know you do."

I rolled over on my back, bringing my legs up so my cold feet rested under her thighs. "How am I going to tell him? He's going to hate me." And living with that would be even harder than losing him, especially since I loved him even more now that I'd confirmed his baby was growing inside me.

"He won't hate you. One thing I'm sure of: that man loves you."

I linked my hands over my stomach. It was still flat, but it would only be a few months before I had that telltale bump. Jace would hate that. A constant reminder of a baby he'd never wanted.

"He may have loved me. But he won't when he finds out what I did."

She reached for the remote to mute the TV. "Would you stop? You're acting like you did this on purpose. You didn't. You took expired pills. Is it a bonehead move? Sure. But you're probably not the first woman it's happened to."

I glared at her. "If you're trying to make me feel better it's not working."

She sighed. "You want me to come to the doctor with you tomorrow?"

I loved her for offering, but I had to get used to doing this stuff alone. "No, it's okay. I already took three home tests, so it's just a formality."

"Jace aside," she said, smiling. "How do _you_ feel about this? You've wanted to be a mom for a long time."

The reality was just starting to sink in since I'd taken the tests yesterday morning. I was going to be a mom. A single mom. "I didn't plan to do it alone, but I can't be sorry it happened."

"Hey," Tracey said, patting my knee. "Don't you worry about a thing. You have me and your family. Even if Jace doesn't want to be a part of his or her life-"

"I'm pretty sure that's a given." Which made me so sad. Sad for him. Sad for me. But most of all, sad for our baby. They'd grow up without knowing what a great guy their dad was. "I told him I had a couple of pregnancy scares while we were together and you should have seen how freaked out he got. I can't imagine how he'll react when he realizes this is the real deal."

"Maybe he'll take it better than you think he will. Could be he's lived without you long enough to know he'd make any sacrifice to be with you."

I stared at the silent TV screen, smiling when a diaper commercial came on. "A baby shouldn't feel like a sacrifice, Trace. It's a blessing."

"You don't know. Maybe he'll see it that way. You just have to give him a little time to get over the initial shock."

Fortunately he had nine months to get used to the idea.

"Did he say if he plans to buy my half of the bar? I really don't want to look for another buyer. It could take months to find someone Jace approves of." And I didn't want to be around him every day when I started to show. That wasn't fair to either one of us.

"No, but I have a feeling he'll come around when he realizes you're leaving no matter what."

"It's not like I have a choice," I said, rolling over on my side. "I can't work 'til all hours with a baby. Besides, I'll need the cash to get us out of this crappy little apartment."

"Yeah, but you have money saved, right?"

"Sure, but babies are expensive and real estate is unpredictable. I need to know I can take care of my baby without having to go to anyone else for help."

"Hey, you know I'm always here for you," she said, tapping my leg. "So are your parents. And your brother. But I really don't think you're going to have to worry about that. Jace may be a lot of things, but a deadbeat isn't one of them. He takes care of his responsibilities."

"But I don't want him to see us that way," I said, staring at the dingy white ceiling as tears burned my eyes. Pregnancy hormones were a bitch. And they were just starting. I couldn't imagine what I had to look forward to. Not that I was complaining. No sacrifice would be too great to bring a healthy baby into the world.

"As a responsibility?" she asked, looking confused. "An obligation? But this baby is his responsibility and he is obligated to take care of him or her."

"I know. But I want to do it on my own. Jace didn't ask for this and it's not fair to burden him with it. I knew how he felt about having a baby and-"

"Screw that! He was in that room too, and if he was so adamant about not wanting a kid he should have kept it wrapped instead of relying solely on you to take care of the birth control."

I leaned forward, giving her a hug. Cause no matter how terrible I felt about myself she always managed to make me feel better.

***

One day and my whole life had changed. I had a new job, an estimated due date, and an offer in on a little house in a 'family-friendly' neighborhood. The only thing left to take care of was the bar. My final tie to the man I loved. Well... except for the baby I was carrying. They would always be a reminder of him.

I walked into the bar an hour before the staff was ready to start their shift and found Jace behind the bar taking inventory of the bottles.

"Hey you," I said, sliding on to a bar stool.

"Hey yourself," he said, turning to face me. "I didn't expect to see you today. I thought I gave you strict orders to stay home and get some rest."

"I'll have plenty of time to rest," I said, looking around at what we'd built. "Just as soon as you give me a check for my half of this place."

"So you're still determined to go through with the sale?" he asked, thrusting a hand into his hair. "I thought you'd have come to your senses by now."

"Already got the ball rolling," I said, with a sad smile. "New job. New house. New life."

If only he knew. I told myself I'd wait until I'd passed the first trimester, when I was out of the danger zone. There was no sense freaking him out if something happened and I wasn't able to carry the baby... I shut those thoughts down. I was going to do everything in my power to protect my little person. It was me and them against the world now.

"I hate this you know."

"I know you do."

Jace was an Alpha male through and through. Always liked to be in control, had to call all the shots. Thought he knew what was best for everyone. Especially me. Taking care of me had become like his part-time job. That's how I knew he'd be an amazing dad too, if only he were willing to give himself the chance. He had that protective instinct. The dad gene, my dad called it.

"But this is the way it has to be."

He tossed the tablet down on the bar, scowling at it. "If there's no way I can talk you out of it-"

"There isn't."

There was only one thing he could say that would change everything. _I want this baby._ But in my gut I knew I'd never hear those words leave his lips. Men like Jace didn't change. When they had their minds made up they stuck to it, no matter the cost.

"Fine," he said, looking bitter. "I'll have the check to you by next week."

"Thanks." When he reached behind him to pour a drink, I grabbed his hand, looking into his eyes. "You don't need that."

"You don't know what the hell I need. If you did you wouldn't be bailing on me."

"I'm leaving for your own good," I said, gently. "And mine." _And our baby's. _

"How can you say that?" he asked, pouring too much Jack into a crystal glass. "None of this is going to make our situation better. It's going to make it worse. For me, at least. I'm going to go from being sad and frustrated to bitter and miserable." He held up the glass in a silent toast. "Here's to me following in the old man's footsteps."

"Don't do that," I said, grabbing his wrist. "Don't act like you don't have a choice. You always have a choice." Just like I had a choice, not to let a self-destructive drunk be a part of my child's life.

"Easy for you to say," he said, pouring another drink after he downed the first one. "You're the one calling all the shots."

There was no point talking to him when he was in this mood. I slid off the barstool and told him I'd be back to collect my things another time.

"So this is it?" he asked, staring at me in disbelief. "It's really going to end like this?"

If only it were that easy. I wasn't sure there would ever be an end to us, not now. Even if he made some inept, half-assed attempt to be a father, for however long he could stand it, I knew he'd always be on my mind now. I'd look into my child's face and see his looking back at me. His smile. Maybe his eyes. I shuddered at the thought. It would be haunting. And heart-breaking.

"You're not getting rid of me that easily, Jace. We still have some unfinished business, you and I." I drew back, tapping my hand on the solid surface of the bar. "But this isn't the time to talk about it."

"When then?"

I looked at the glass halfway to his lips. "When you realize the answer to all your problems isn't at the bottom of that glass."

Chapter Nine

_Jace _

__

I invited Jude to the bar for a few drinks after he finished work, but after the way Cory looked at me the other day, the disgust written all over her face, I couldn't bring myself to touch the bottle. Jude joked when I ordered a soft drink, but I didn't care. Cory's opinion of me mattered more than anyone else's and I didn't want her to see me become the man my mother had left.

Cory had other reasons for leaving me, but I wouldn't let a drinking problem be one of them.

"Hey, did I show you this?" Jude asked, withdrawing an image from his wallet. "Kat's ultrasound photo. That was last week," he said, pointing at the photo as I took it. "He's actually starting to look like a baby now." He chuckled. "Instead of an alien."

I stared at the photo a long time, my hand trembling slightly as I tried to reconcile the fact that Cory would one day be staring at one of these images with the man she loved by her side. A man who couldn't wait to have a baby with her. Was I out of my mind for letting some other dude step in and take what should have been mine? I didn't know. But lately I'd started wondering.

"That's awesome," I said, staring intently at the grainy black and white. "Must have been pretty cool for you, seeing him on the monitor for the first time, huh?"

He sat back, grinning. "I'll probably get my man-card revoked for saying this, but I actually cried. I'm serious, dude."

I'd known Jude a long time and I'd never seen him cry. Not even on his wedding day. But I got it. This was some serious shit. Bringing a baby into the world. Especially since they'd tried to get pregnant for over a year before it finally happened for them.

"I'm happy for you, man," I said, passing the photo back to him. "Seriously."

"Think you'd like to be a godfather?"

I stared at him, stunned he would even ask, especially given what he knew about me. "You can't be serious."

"I am." He leaned in. "Kat and I talked about it and we both agreed you're the man for the job."

I swiped a hand over my face. I was flattered, but also terrified. And a little appalled. They were asking me to be responsible for their kid, should something happen to them? Were they crazy? Did they even know me at all? I was just about the worst candidate in the world for that role.

"You do know that Cory and I broke up because she wanted a baby and I didn't, right?" I knew he knew it, but under the circumstances I felt it bore repeating.

"Yeah, you made a bonehead move. But that doesn't mean you're a bonehead."

"What the hell are you talking about? You know I didn't make that decision lightly, man. I agonized over it."

"No, you didn't." He picked his beer bottle up, tipping it back against his lips. "You'd made that call long before you met Cory. You never even let yourself entertain the possibility of having a baby with her."

"That's not true."

"Don't bullshit me." He looked me in the eye, daring me to look away. "You've been telling me forever that you don't intend to get married or have kids. You already had your mind made up when you met Cory. Damn shame if you ask me. That girl should have had forever stamped on that fine ass, not freedom."

"Shut the hell up, Jude."

"You're messed up, man." He sneered at me, pissing me off even more. "You're crazy in love with this gorgeous, sweet, smart woman who feels the same way about you." He raised a hand. "You have a successful business and home together. The only thing missing is the ring and the ba-"

"Don't say it," I warned, raising a hand. "Do. Not. Say. It."

"So, you've never thought about it? Marrying her? Having a family with her?"

Only every night since we did a little role-playing in our office. But fantasy and reality were two different things and I had to remember that. If I thought I could handle it, then decided I couldn't, it would kill Cory. I couldn't risk hurting her like that.

"Sure, but I just can't do it." I stared at the scarred table, waiting for him to tear me a new one. 'Cause that's probably what I'd do if I saw my best friend screw up his life the way I was.

"Never thought I'd see you runnin' scared, boss."

"That's not what this is." I couldn't even look him in the eye when I said that. "Yeah, okay. Maybe it is, but man, this is real. Cory deserves the best. A man who can be a good husband and father. Someone who'll love her and take care of her and protect her."

"Right, and that's not you. 'Cause you never looked out for her. You never threatened to beat the life out of guys who put their hands on her or came on too strong when she was serving drinks."

If not for the vow I'd taken with my Sensei, to only use my skill in self-defense, I would have busted more than a few heads. I hated it when dudes flirted with my woman. Even if she shut them down every time.

"Okay, yeah." I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to ward off a headache as I squeezed my eyes shut. The stress of contemplating a life and business without Cory was starting to wear me down. "I looked out for her. I loved her. But that wasn't enough for her. She wanted more. The ring, the..." I sucked in a breath. I couldn't even bring myself to say it anymore.

"You'd be lucky to have a woman like that wearing your ring. Sharing your last name."

_Like I don't know that._ "If she just wanted to get married I would have been down with that. It wasn't the marriage part that scared me. It was-"

"Being a dad." Jude rolled his eyes. "I know. But your brother's not worried. He got engaged and I know for a fact he can't wait to have kids with Jen."

"Maybe he's braver than I am."

"Or smarter."

"Shut up."

"Maybe he realizes that what went down with your parents has no bearing on what kind of parents you'll be."

My brother was also a phys ed teacher who coached soccer and basketball in his free time. He loved kids.

"I'm not my brother. He didn't go through the shit I did in high school with-"

He flashed his phone at me. I caught a glimpse of a familiar face surrounded by little faces that looked a lot like hers. Caron. I snatched the phone from him. "Wow, she's got four kids, huh?"

"And a husband who's a fire fighter."

"Nice." I handed the phone back to him. "But I don't see what that has to do with-"

"Looks like she's got a pretty sweet life now. She wouldn't have had that if you guys had stayed together. If she hadn't miscarried you might have stayed with her, been bitter and resentful. You guys would have fought all the time. Then your kid would have grown up all messed up." He smiled, though it never reached his eyes. "Just like you are."

"What are you trying to say?"

"What happened back in high school happened for a reason, man. But it has nothing to do with what's going down between you and Cory now."

Easy for him to say. He didn't see the look on Cory's face when I told her about the miscarriage.

"I was there, remember? Caron was a sweet girl, but you never loved her the way you love Cory."

"I've never loved anyone like that," I muttered, though I knew it was obvious to my best friend that Cory owned me. "Never will again."

"It's not too late to make things right, Jace."

"Yeah, it is." I covered my face with my hands, heaving a sigh. "It's over. You don't even know. It's so over, man. She's moved on with her life. She's got a new job, new place-"

"New man?"

I glared at him. "No."

"Then it's not too late."

"What do you want me to do? Beg her to take me back?"

He leaned in, stabbing his finger into the table when we were face-to-face. "If you have to get down on your knees and beg that girl to take you back, that's what you do. Just get her back."

He made it sound so easy. "She's done with me."

"She will be if you don't get your head outta your ass soon." He glared at me across the table as he sank back in his seat. "You are the toughest sonofabitch I know. You're the first guy I'd call to back me up in a street fight. The last one who'd back down or walk away from a challenge. Yet here you sit..." He gestured to me, looking disgusted. "Like a bitch, whining 'cause you can't give your girl what she needs."

He was pissing me off. He didn't know what the hell he was talking about.

"What are you really afraid of?" He stared me down, challenging me. "Loving her too much? Having a baby with her and feeling like you'd be gutted if they left you the way your mom left you guys?"

I didn't have to listen to this. I stood, but Jude said, "That's right. Keep running."

"Listen to me," I said, pointing a finger in this face. "You don't know what you're talking about. Your parents stayed together. They-"

"I don't care about your sad story, man. I'm sick of hearing it."

I really needed to get new friends 'cause this guy sucked. "Then get out. No one's asking you to stay."

"I'm here because I love you like a brother and I'm sick of seeing you make such a mess of your life. No one knows you like I know you. Except maybe your brother and Cory. And I know that you'd lose it if you got to see Cory bring your baby into the world."

My gut clenched at that image, maybe because I'd been thinking about it so much lately.

He smirked. "You'd be one of those crazy protective fathers. Especially if you had a daughter that looked like your girl." He chuckled. "I can see you now, sitting on the front porch with a shotgun at your feet, waiting to scare off any boys who thought about doing your princess wrong."

I curled my hand around my glass, suddenly wishing I had something stronger.

"Or how 'bout a son?" he asked, grinning. "Ball games on Saturday? The dojo a few nights a week. You could teach him everything you know."

"Why are you doing this?" I asked, staring at him.

"Then there'd be all those nights after you put the kids to bed and had Cory all to yourself."

I swallowed, curling my hand into a fist on the tabletop. This bastard had me wanting the life he described.

"Showing her how much you loved her. Never letting her forget it. Never letting another man take what's yours."

"I gotta get out of here." My Harley was parked outside and I had never needed a ride more.

Jude grabbed my arm as I walked past him. "Don't be an idiot, man. Don't let another man have the life that should have been yours."

***

I stared up at her bedroom window. The lights were dim. She was probably lying in bed reading. I needed to see her. But I didn't know what to say. Please forgive me? Please give me another chance? Marry me?

I curled my hands into the pockets of my leather jacket as I considered my options. I could leave and continue to live in misery or I could man up and take what I wanted while I still had the chance. _If_ I still had the chance.

Once I'd made my decision I didn't walk or jog, I ran inside that building. My breathing was harsh, my heart beating out of my chest as I pounded on her door like a man possessed.

She peeked out the door before opening it wide. "Jace. What the hell-?"

I hauled her into my arms and kissed her senseless as I kicked the door shut and rotated her so she was leaning against it. "Need. You," I said, between kisses, my hands roughly pushing up her coral nightshirt.

She hissed, pushing my hands away from her breasts. At the question in my eyes, she said, "Just really sensitive."

Sensitive meant my timing was perfect. Her period wasn't due yet.

She gripped my face when I tried to kiss her again. "What are you doing here? What's this all about?"

"I made a huge mistake letting you go." My lips were trailing down her neck, my hands working under her little black sleep shorts. "You want to get married? Let's get married." Anything. I'd do anything to have her back in my life.

Her eyes widened in shock. "Jace, if you're saying this because you want sex-"

"No." I gripped her hips, pressing her against the door while my erection grazed her bare belly. "This isn't about the sex." I hung my head, trying to align my scattered thoughts. I knew what I wanted to say and this had to come out right. I couldn't afford another mistake. "This is about us. Our life together."

"But I thought you didn't want-"

"To have a family with you?" My heart clenched at the pained expression in her baby blues. I couldn't pretend I'd done a complete about-face. I still had some things to sort out. But I was getting there. "I'm sorry I said that, baby. What I should have said is that I just need more time. I really think I can get there eventually."

"You need more time?" she asked, narrowing her eyes. "You _think_ you can get there eventually?"

I could tell this wasn't going well, but I was doing my best to be honest with her. I couldn't walk in here making promises, dropping proposals, like I was suddenly a family guy. Ready to be Ward Cleaver, father of the year.

"Let's start by getting engaged," I suggested, wishing like hell the jewelry stores hadn't been closed by the time I had my little epiphany. I probably would have been able to sell it with a big-ass diamond. Buy myself a little more time to get used to the idea of a kid.

"You want to start by getting engaged."

I knew the fact that she was echoing every one of my suggestions in disbelief wasn't a good thing. So, I upped my game. "Yeah, wouldn't have to be a long engagement." I kissed her neck, my hands dipping beneath the elastic in her panties. "A year, two tops." Didn't women need at least that long to plan the wedding of their dreams? It was a win-win proposal as far as I was concerned.

"I..." She bit her lip when my fingers dipped inside before spreading the evidence of her arousal. "Can't."

"You can't what?" My hand stilled as I drew back. "Can't wait a year or two?" I was trying to give her what she wanted, but she had to meet me halfway. I wasn't about to jump on a plane to Vegas and tie the knot tonight. That would be crazy. And I tried to keep my crazy in the bedroom these days.

Her eyes were pleading with me to understand, but I didn't. "I can't be sure you'll want what I want. You need me to give you time to get there, but I'm already there. You think you _might_ want to marry me in a couple of years. You think you _might_ want a baby someday. But I want all of that now." She gripped my hand before stepping out of reach, walking into her small living space.

"But I'm getting there, baby. That's the important thing. I'm getting there. I just need you to bear with me a little longer." I gripped her shoulders when she turned away, hauling her back against my chest. "Give me a bit more time. Please."

Her hand drifted from my forearm to her flat stomach before it fell away. "I wish I could. I wish we had all the time in the world to work this out, but he don't."

"Why?" I knew she thought her biological clock was ticking, but that wasn't true. She was in her early thirties. Women had babies in their forties and beyond these days. We could afford to wait a while longer.

"You're just going to have to trust me on this." She sighed. "I'm not trying to be a bitch. I just need you to understand."

"But I don't understand."

I dropped my hands and heaved a sigh, tugging on my hair as I turned in a slow circle, trying to work out some of the frustration I was feeling. The last thing I wanted was to blow up at her, but I came here all excited because I thought she'd be thrilled that I was finally ready to put a ring on her finger. Instead she acts like I'm offering her too little, too late.

"I don't understand any of this. I thought this was what you wanted."

"It would have been," she said, softly. "A year ago. But right now, today, I need more."

"You're not willing to give a goddamn inch are you?" I was shouting now, probably waking the neighbors, but I didn't care. "I'm the one who has to make all the sacrifices? It's your way or the highway, right?"

"I didn't say that." Her tone was low, controlled, making me sound like more of a maniac for losing it.

"Then what are you saying? Thanks, but no thanks? You were good enough for me before, but you're not anymore?"

"This has nothing to do with you being good enough," she said, closing her eyes, as though she was struggling for patience. "This is about me... putting myself first."

"Like you've never done that before!" I knew I was crossing the line, but I was reeling. How could she not want to get engaged? "It's always been about you and what you want. I've bent over backward to give you want you want. And what thanks do I get?" I knew I wasn't being fair. She'd probably compromised more than I had in our relationship, but I was hurt and angry. And scared. This couldn't be the end of the road for us. The point of no return. Not when I'd finally started believing I could actually be a husband and father someday.

"I think you'd better leave," she said, stepping past me. She reached for the door handle. "This isn't getting us anywhere."

I didn't want to leave. I wanted to yell and scream if that's what it took to fix this. Then I wanted to have the kind of make-up sex that rattled the pictures on the wall before we curled up in her bed and talked about the future. Where we'd live. The kind of wedding we'd have... the whole nine.

"I don't get you," I said, staring her down when she opened the door. "I don't think you know what you want."

"I do know what I want, Jace," she whispered, her eyes meeting mine. "I've always known."

Chapter Ten

_Cory _

__

I was scared to death. Lying flat on my back on a cold vinyl table waiting for a technician to perform a transvaginal ultrasound to tell me whether my baby was going to survive. In the past two weeks, since my last blow-up with Jace, I'd had bleeding. More than the usual spotting. And the doctor was concerned. I could tell, though he'd tried to reassure me everything was probably fine. He could still detect a heartbeat, he claimed. This was just a precaution, to put my mind at ease. But I wasn't sure I believed him.

I'd tried to explain the stress I'd been under: new job, selling my business, closing on a new house, packing, the pregnancy, trying to figure out how the hell I was going to tell the father. The doctor agreed I had a lot on my plate, but I had to put my baby first. I had to try and relax. Now that I was in the clinic, the tears streaming down my face, I was making deals with God, promising that I'd do whatever it took to keep my baby safe from now on.

Tracey was supposed to come with me, but she had a last minute emergency at the shop. A cake that was supposed to be delivered to a baby shower got damaged in transit so she had to scramble to offer a replacement.

So I was going it alone. I told myself I was okay with that, but I would give anything to have a strong hand to hold. Someone to tell me that everything was going to be okay.

A soft tap on the door made me clear my throat and brush away my tears before I invited them to enter. The sight of my mother took my breath away. What was she doing here? I hadn't even told her about the pregnancy yet!

"How're you holding up, sweetheart?" Her smile was soft and sympathetic, the concern evident in her eyes.

"What are you doing here?" I started to panic. If she knew, maybe Jace did too.

"Tracey called me." She sat on the stool next to my bed, letting her purse rest on the floor beside her. "She explained everything. She felt terrible she couldn't be here for you, and she didn't want you to go through this alone."

I bit my lip, trying to stem the flow of tears as I looked at the blank screen next to me. "I was going to tell you about the pregnancy. I'm sorry I didn't. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay first."

"And? Is it?" she asked, reaching for my hand.

"I don't know yet." I closed my eyes, but the tears continued to fall. "I hope so. I'm already in love with this baby, Mom."

She wiped the tears off my cheeks, but her eyes were wet too. "I know you are, sweetheart. I know how much you want a baby."

"I never expected this," I said, staring at the swirls on the white ceiling above me. "I mean, it obviously wasn't planned. But now that I know I'm pregnant, it's all I can think about it."

"So, all the changes you've been making lately: selling the bar to Jace, getting back into real estate, buying a house-"

"Have all been to prepare for the baby. I wanted to be able to take care of them by myself, in case..."

"Jace doesn't want to be a part of their lives?" She sighed. "You don't really believe he'd turn his back on his own child, do you?"

"You know the reason we broke up."

"So, you haven't told him he's going to be a father?"

I tried to ignore her accusation, but it was tough when it was accompanied by a pang of guilt. "I wanted to be sure everything was fine before I dragged him into this." I cringed at my choice of words, making it sound like our baby was anything less than a sacred blessing was unforgiveable.

"Honey, I know times are different now. It's a woman's body, a woman's choice and all that." She waved her hand dismissively, as though she didn't really buy it. "But my God, you wouldn't even be here if it weren't for him. That baby you're carrying is as much his responsibility as it is yours."

"Mom," I whispered, praying for the strength to survive whatever the next hour would bring. "Please. Can we talk about this later? The only thing that matters to me now is making sure my baby is okay."

***

__

_ Jace _

__

I sank back in my swivel chair, trying to make sense of the phone call I just received. It was from some diagnostic imaging center. They were looking for Cory. I did a quick Google search and found out they did all kinds of scary sounding scans and ultrasounds. What the hell was going on with her?

I reached for my cell, determined to find out. I called Tracey at the bakery, relieved when she answered after two rings, sounding short-tempered and a little harried.

"What's going on with Cory? Why is some diagnostic imaging center calling here looking for her?"

She paused. "She, uh, didn't make her appointment?"

"Why does she have an appointment at a place like that? You told me she wasn't sick."

I felt like I was gonna throw up. Cory _was_ sick. Possibly very sick. And I'd been brutal, completing the sale of the bar through our lawyers because I wanted to punish her for not jumping at the chance to marry me.

"She isn't sick," she said, softly. "I'm sorry, Jace. I really can't say any more."

"You can't just leave me hanging like that," I warned, gripping the phone tighter. "Because I swear if you don't tell me I'm going to get it out of her." Or haul ass over to that clinic and start making threats until someone told me something.

"Please," she said, sounding desperate. "The last thing she needs in her life right now is more stress. She needs you to just back off and let her take of... herself."

"Back off?" I shouted. "The woman I love and want to marry is dealing with some medical emergency on her own and you want me to back off?"

"Yeah, she told me about your half-assed marriage proposal. Sounded real romantic."

"I was just acting on impulse, okay?" I looked at the photo I still kept on my desk, one of me and Cory wrapped in each other's arms. I loved that picture, loved the way her smile lit up her gorgeous face, like there was nowhere she'd rather be than in my arms. "I may have screwed it up, but I wanted..." I cleared my throat. "I really wanted to marry her. I may not have said everything she needed to hear, like how much I loved her or how I couldn't have lived without her-"

"Why? Why didn't you tell her that? That's exactly what she needed to hear."

"I guess I just expected her to know that." I blew out a frustrated breath as I curled my hand around my forehead. "I've been telling her that for four years. If she doesn't know by now how much I love her she never will."

"But proposing marriage isn't just about how much you love the other person, Jace," she said, gently. "It's about letting them know that you're ready for forever with them. Without hesitation."

Is that what she'd sensed when I asked her to marry me... hesitation? Is that why she turned me down? "I know I want to spend the rest of my life with that girl. There's no doubt in my mind about that."

"You still want to marry her?"

"Of course I do."

"When?"

Another two weeks apart had turned me into more of a bitter spiteful asshole. No one wanted to be around me. Reminded me a lot of the old man. If this was what living without Cory was going to turn me into, I wanted no part of it.

"Whenever she wants."

"You really mean that?"

I thought about what that would mean as I glanced absently at my left hand.

It would mean a ring. On my hand and hers. It would mean she'd take my last name. Everyone would know she was mine. She'd share my bed every night. Wake up and tell me she loved me every morning. Work by my side every day, taking our dream to the next level.

What the hell was wrong with me? I should have married that girl yesterday! I wanted all of that.

"Yeah, I do."

"Even if it means babies?"

I closed my eyes, a smile teasing my lips as I imagined Cory holding our baby, that same smile lighting up her face... and my world. Tripping over toys. Making room for stuffed animals. Teething. Drooling. Crying. Diaper changes. Sleepless nights. Pudgy little hands reaching for me. Hearing Daddy for the first time. Protecting her. Guiding him. Watching Cory be the kind of mom to our kids I always wished I'd had. Being the kind of dad to our kids I'd always wanted mine to be.

Hell, yeah. Bring it on.

"Even if it means babies."

She heaved a sigh, but it sounded like relief. "I'm so glad to hear you say that."

"Why?"

Tracey groaned. "I really shouldn't be the one to tell you this."

I sat up straighter, my mouth dry. "Tell me what?" When she didn't answer, I said, "Don't mess with me, girl. Tell me what's going on."

"Cory's pregnant," she whispered. "She was so scared to tell you, but-"

I could barely breathe. My chest tightened and my head was spinning. I'd never fainted before, but I sure as hell was glad I was sitting down. "Pregnant?" I repeated. "She's pregnant. That's why they called from the-"

"Yeah. That's the other part. She's been having some bleeding lately. It may be just all the stress she's been under lately, but the doctor wanted her to have an ultrasound just to make sure everything's all right."

It has to be. We can't lose this baby. My mind drifted back to the last time I'd heard those words... _We lost the baby._ If Cory said that to me today I'd be gutted. That's how I knew for sure this was it. I was ready to be a father. I wanted that baby more than anything.

"I have to go. I have to get there, to be with her." Thankfully the Google search was still on my phone so I could just plug the address into my GPS. "She's not alone, is she?"

"No, her mom's there with her."

"Okay, I'll-"

"Jace, wait. Tell her I'm sorry. Tell her I only told you because I love her and I happen to think you guys belong together, as a family, even if you are a dumbass sometimes."

This time I had to agree with the lady. I was a dumbass. If I hadn't been I'd be sitting beside my _wife,_ holding her hand, as we saw our baby for the first time on a screen.

Chapter Eleven

_Cory _

__

I was crying again. But this time they were tears of joy. And relief. My baby was fine. No matter what else life threw at me, as long as I knew that I could get through anything.

The technician was just leaving the room when Jace slipped past her.

Oh. My. God. What was he doing here?

My mother and I shared a look before she squeezed my hand with a reassuring smile. "Looks like you two have some things to discuss. I think I'll be on my way." She kissed Jace on the cheek as she passed him. "Take good care of my baby."

He gripped the hand she had on his shoulder, never taking his eyes off me. "You can count on it."

"What are you doing here?" I sat up, facing him, my legs hanging over the edge of the bed. "How did you even know where to find me?"

"The clinic called the bar looking for you."

I blushed, knowing I only had myself to blame. "Traffic was brutal. I was ten minutes late for the appointment. I guess they had my work number on file." I bit my lip when he didn't say anything as he stared at me. "I'll, um, have to change that."

"And let me guess," he said, his eyes trailing over my body. "Your cell phone was dead again, so they couldn't reach you?"

"Something like that," I muttered. Now that I knew how he was here, I needed to know why. And whether he knew. "But they wouldn't have told you..."

"About the baby?" He reached for my hand as my eyes widened in surprise. "No, Tracey told me about that."

"I'm going to kill her."

"Don't do that." He smiled. "I'm thinking this baby might need a godmother, no?" His eyes darkened. "Unless, there's a problem with the pregnancy."

"No, no problem. Everything's fine."

He sank forward, looking relieved. "Thank God."

I was speechless. He was relieved that I was having his baby? Since when? "I was going to tell you about the baby. I just didn't want to freak you out in case..." I shrugged when he looked up at me, daring me continue.

"In case... what?"

"In case there was a problem with the pregnancy."

He jumped up, hauling me into his arms. "Don't say that. Don't even think it. There's not going to be a problem with the pregnancy. I'll make sure of it." He stroked my hair, kissing along my jawline. "I am going to take such good care of you. You won't even have to lift a finger."

I'll admit I melted a little. 'Cause really, is there anything sexier than a big, tough guy like Jace wanting to take care of you and protect you when you're carrying his baby? "You don't have to take care of me, Jace. I can take care of myself." My hand drifted to my stomach. "And this little peanut too."

His eyes drifted to my hand and his nostrils flared. "You will let me take care of you. And this baby you're carrying. That's non-negotiable."

"I don't want you to feel obligated to-" He cut me off with a kiss, curling his hands around my face. When we finally broke apart he was staring into my eyes and I swear he got a peek into my soul too.

"This isn't an obligation. It's a privilege. Just like being your husband would be my privilege."

Cue waterworks. Damn pregnancy hormones. "I know you said a year or two from now-"

"Screw that." He grinned. "How does day after tomorrow work for you?"

My jaw dropped. "You can't be serious."

"Hell, I'd marry you tomorrow, but we have to get the marriage license, right?"

"I guess. But if you're just marrying me because of the baby, don't. I'd never try to prevent you from being a part of his or her life, if you want. But that doesn't mean we have to be partners to co-parent."

"Here's the deal," he said, holding my hands. "I love you. No." He shook his head. "That's not right. I adore you. I worship you." He chuckled. "I think I'm obsessed with you."

God, I loved this man.

"I think about you all the time. I think about how much I miss you. How much I wish we could be together." He leaned in, brushing his lips across my cheek. "But lately, that's not all I've been thinking about."

I leaned in, not wanting to miss a whisper. "Oh yeah?"

"I've also been thinking about..." His eyes fell, landing on my stomach. "How incredible it would be to have a baby with you."

I sniffled as the tears fell, making him smile as he wiped them away. I couldn't help it. I'd waited a long time to hear him say those words. "Really?"

He nodded, looking as though he was battling his emotions. "I would have been a terrible father before, Cor. But I was just a kid then."

"I know," I whispered, curling my hand around his face. I wanted him to know that I understood and would never judge him.

"I didn't know anything about life. Just what I'd learned growing up in that house. I learned that people leave. Even when they promised to stay. I learned that people drink even when they promise they won't." He bit his lip. "And I learned that they beat you down even when they're supposed to build you up."

I pulled him in for a hug, needing to wrap my arms around him. Needing him to know how much I loved him and that I would never leave him again.

"But being his son taught me to be strong too." He grabbed my hand, holding it against his chest. "It taught me how to take a beating and get back up when life knocks you down. And it eventually taught me to fight back."

"I wish you hadn't had to go through that," I whispered, my heart breaking for him.

"It's okay," he said, shaking his head. "I made my peace with the old man before he died." He tapped his finger against his temple. "I've made my peace with my mother too. In here. She couldn't live with a raging alcoholic. I get that. Do I wish she'd taken us with her? Sure. But I understand why she didn't. She had no way of caring for us. At least he could keep a roof over our head and food in our bellies."

I ran my hands through his hair, thinking how proud I was of him for coming to terms with all the hard blows life had dealt him.

"The point I'm trying to make is... if I had to go through all that to learn how not to do it, I'm okay with it. It was worth paying the price if it means I can be a better parent to our kids."

I smiled. "Kids, plural?"

He grinned. "Let's start with two and see how it goes."

"Sounds like a plan."

He frowned. "Wait. Not two girls though. I couldn't handle that."

I winked. "Don't worry, babe. We'll make sure their boyfriends all know about your black belt," I said, tugging on the leather belt looped through his jeans.

"I have a better idea," he said, looking serious. "I'll take them to the dojo with me. That way they can kick ass if any one of those jerks comes on too strong."

I loved how protective he was of a child we hadn't even had yet. "You're going to be an amazing daddy," I whispered, kissing him.

He groaned, resting his forehead against mine. "I have a feeling I'm gonna screw up. A lot."

"Of course you will. We both will. They don't come with an instruction manual, Jace."

"I wish they did."

I smiled at him, thinking about how far he'd come since that smart-assed, tough-talking, crude bastard who'd tried to seduce me the first night we met. "Look at it this way. You _were_ the guy we'll have to warn her about. You'll know what to look for."

He looked fierce when he said, "She brings home a guy like me and I'll break both of his legs."

I laughed, pulling him in tight. I had no doubt he'd want to, but I'd be there to rein him in. To remind him that our kids would have to make their own mistakes. Just like we had.

Epilogue

_One Year Later_

_Jace_

Cory had just crawled back into bed after feeding Isabelle and I pulled her close, kissing her neck as I pinned her body with mine. "I've been thinking, I want to do this again."

She pulled back to look at me as my hand skated over her smooth thigh. "What's that?"

"Have another baby. Now."

I knew she'd probably argue it was too soon. Issy wasn't even sleeping through the night yet. The doctor had just given us the go-ahead to have sex six weeks ago. But the way that little girl made me feel, like my heart was too big for my chest sometimes... I wanted more of that. Hell, I could get addicted to that feeling.

She laughed, rolling her eyes. "Yeah, right. Look, I know we've been using the withdrawal method, which is a lousy form of birth control, but that doesn't mean we should-"

"I don't want to pull out tonight," I said, feeling the urgency creep into my voice as my hand slipped between her legs. "Let's make a baby, Cor," I whispered, licking her ear.

Issy had been a surprise, though I'd never, ever consider her a mistake. The result of desperate sex and expired pills. This time I wanted to do it right. To look my wife in the eye while I made love to her and show her how much I wanted her to have my baby.

"You're crazy," she said, curling her hand around my bicep as I slowly tried to entice her with my finger. She lifted her hips off the bed, moaning. "It's... oh... God." I stretched her with another her as I pressed my arousal into her thigh.

"It's perfect, baby. Come on, think about it." I licked her neck, her ear. "Issy will have a playmate. They'll be so close in age. Maybe a sister for her to grow up with." Though I still suspected two daughters who looked like their gorgeous mommy might be the death of me.

"I can't believe..." She closed her eyes, her mouth slipping open as I rubbed her more insistently. "You wanna... oh... do this... so soon."

"I do." She was so beautiful when she was pregnant. I was an idiot not to have thrown her pills away years ago. "I want this." I slipped between her legs, kissing her flat stomach before my mouth drifted lower. I knew I wasn't playing fair, but I really wanted her to say yes. "Come on, Cor. Give me another baby."

I swiped my tongue over her while hooking my fingers deep inside.

"Jace..." Her breathing was labored as her legs fell open wider. "That feels incredible."

She was incredible. I could make love to this woman ten times a day for the next fifty years and never tire of it.

I reveled in the sweet sounds of her helpless little cries as I felt her body tighten. I was relentless, seeking, probing... tearing her apart.

She begged, first pleading for me not to stop, then on the heels of her release crying out she couldn't take any more.

I climbed on top of her, brushing her hair back from her face. "You are my life," I whispered, kissing her. "You and Issy. I know it took me awhile to come around, but baby, I get it now. Why you wanted a family so much. Nothing has ever made me feel so...complete."

I'd hear Issy's whimpers through the monitor in the morning and wake up with a smile on my face as I went in to rescue my baby girl from the confines of her crib. She'd just moved into the nursery and while I hated not having her with us through the night, I loved being able to ravage my wife whenever I wanted to.

"You're an amazing daddy," she said, smiling as she looked into my eyes. "Just like I knew you would be."

"So make me a daddy again. Please." I never expected to beg Cory for a baby, but now that I had a taste of the good life I feared she'd have to beat me off with a stick to prevent me from getting her pregnant every chance I got.

"I love how enthusiastic you are," she said with a dirty grin as she reached between us to stroke me. "But having another baby is a really big decision."

"I know." I groaned when she closed her hand around my shaft and spread her slickness between us. "Baby, that feels amazing. But if you're trying to distract me, it's not going to work."

I plunged inside of her, hissing as I adjusted to her tightness. "You know I'll help any way I can." I wasn't letting this go. I couldn't, not when I was thinking about it day and night.

"You're already an amazing help." She licked my neck while gripping me tight. "Now quit talking."

I smirked, altering my pace so my focus was slow and steady. She had her ideas, I had mine. "I want this." I swirled my tongue around her ear, my whisper husky as I rotated my hips, getting just enough friction to tease her.

"Yessss...."

"I want to fill you..." She loved it when I talked dirty to her. It made her crazy.

"Oh..." Her back arched, fisting the sheets in her hands.

I licked her nipples before sucking them into my mouth. They were still huge from breastfeeding, and I loved it. "You like that, sexy?"

"You know I do." She threaded her hands through my hair, linking her ankles behind my back.

I leaned back, resting my hands on her knees as I forced her legs back. I pumped into her fast and hard as I watched her lose control. I could lose it just watching her. But I wouldn't. Not without her consent. Our relationship was built on a foundation of trust and respect and I wouldn't risk that for anything.

"You want this?" I asked, my eyes locking with hers. "You want to give me this?"

She licked her lips as her hand roamed my chest.

I was slowly losing my mind as I pumped into her, trying to resist the urge to give in when she clenched me in her tight heat. "I loved watching your belly grow round with my baby," I said, getting crazier, more territorial when I thought about the way it had marked her as mine for the world to see.

"It was so hot."

Cory hadn't been one of those women who felt insecure about her burgeoning body. She owned it and I thought it was sexy as hell. "I wanted you all the time. Sometimes when I felt you needed a break, I'd get off in the shower just thinking about you. Your gorgeous round belly." I caressed her body. Her hips. Her breasts.

I licked my lips. "Such a turn-on. And you were so hot for me when you were pregnant. You couldn't get enough."

"I still can't," she whispered.

"Come on, Cor. Let's do this again."

Her gaze was intense as she pulled me closer. "Let's."

My heart was beating like crazy, both from exertion and excitement. I was so close. I knew she was too. I reached between us and with the barest of touches she went off like a little rocket, panting my name.

"Baby, I can't..." I hissed, trying to hold out until I heard her tell me she was sure. "I need to know you want this."

She drew me close, wrapping her arms and legs around me. "I want you to get me pregnant again, Jace."

That was all it took for me. My orgasm seemed endless and I knew I had to stay put.

"Is the timing right?" I should have asked before, though I wouldn't complain if this had been a practice round.

"Pretty perfect, I think."

I grinned as I pulled back to look at her. "Seriously?" I moved a little, making her moan. "I could've just-"

"You definitely could have. But even if you didn't, we can try again and again." She kissed me. "Until we do get pregnant."

"One more won't be enough for me. You do know that right?"

She laughed, slapping my back. "Not only are you insatiable, but you're a caveman. You want me to be barefoot and pregnant-"

"Hey, didn't say anything about barefoot." I glanced over my shoulder at her pretty pink toes. "Though you do have sexy little feet."

She giggled, making me smile. "You're crazy."

"Yeah," I said, smiling. "About you. And our daughter."

"Do you have any idea how happy you've made me?" she asked wiping the sweat off my forehead as she brushed my hair back.

"I didn't even know the meaning of the word until I met you, sweetheart."

I hugged her hard, burying my face in her neck. This feeling was what life was all about. And thank God I finally figured that out before I lost everything that ever meant anything to me.

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Down and Dirty

_Olivia _

"There's only one reason I came to this godforsaken reunion," I said to my twin sister, Kelly, as I sipped my chardonnay.

"I know, I know," she said, rolling her eyes as she scanned the swelling crowd. "So your ex could eat his heart out." She eyed the short, tight black dress I'd paired with my favorite five inch heels. "And I'm sure he would have, if he'd bothered to show up. But come on, don't you think a pro baller has better things to do than hang out with a bunch of nobodies who used to kiss his ass for kicks?"

I shrugged, hoping she was wrong. I hadn't poured myself into this dress tonight for shits and giggles. No ma'am. I wanted revenge. "It's the off season, so who knows what he's up to."

She chuckled. "Or _who_ he's into. Knowing our boy Harris that's more likely."

After fifteen years it shouldn't hurt so much to imagine him with someone else. The fact that he'd dumped me when he got a college scholarship should have cured me of the Landon Harris bug. But the fact that he went on to become one of the best tight ends in the game made him tough to forget.

"You're right, he'll probably be a no-show."

"But he did RSVP he'd be here," Kelly reminded me. "Isn't that what Ellen told you when you said you couldn't make it?"

My high school best friend, Ellen, was on the planning committee for this little shindig and she insisted I show up in the hottest thing I owned, to stick it to Harris for dumping me. We had a nice little back and forth for the first time in years, strategizing about all the ways I could make him pay.

Lure him back to my hotel room, get him naked, tie him up, and leave him begging and whining topped our list of favorites.

"I'm glad you brought a date," Kelly said, eyeing the man in question out of the corner of her eye.

Justin was my... everything. My best friend. My first call on a lonely night. Yeah, we'd done the deed before, but nothing could rock our friendship. We went back too far for sex to muddy the waters. All the way back to college, when I'd been a freshman nursing a broken heart and he'd been the sexy sophomore who convinced me life goes on after Landon Harris.

He was here tonight as eye candy, sure, but mainly to make sure I kept my focus on the end goal.

"Hey gorgeous," he said, slipping his arm around my waist as he pressed a kiss to my temple. "The dirtbag hasn't shown up yet, huh?"

That's what I loved about Justin. It didn't matter that Landon was a hometown hero or one of the guys who'd led his team to a championship last year. To Justin, Landon was the one who broke my heart and that made him public enemy number one.

I leaned into his shoulder. "Maybe it's best if he doesn't show up. This was probably a dumb idea."

He chuckled. "You didn't spend two hours getting ready and countless hours designing and creating this dress to back out now."

"But, I—"

"Oh my God, he's here," Kelly said, gripping my arm. "Don't turn around. Pretend you don't even notice him."

That would be tough since the decibel level in the room just rose a few notches. If I turned around now I was certain everyone would be crowding him, congratulating him on the big win, trying to reminisce about years he'd undoubtedly forgotten.

I had no doubt those high school years, and me, were barely a blip on the man's radar screen, given all the life he'd lived since then.

"Is he alone?" I asked Kelly, hiding my moving lips behind my wine glass.

"Yup, just like Ellen said he would be."

Ellen claimed that he'd not only be stag tonight, but he'd asked whether I would be attending the reunion. Not gonna lie. Got a little excited when I heard that. But I quickly beat that excitement into submission when I remembered what he did to me.

"He looks hot, sis," she said, her mouth forming a circle.

"Not what I wanted to hear." Though I wasn't surprised. Even though I refused to watch football, I'd have to live on another planet to miss his sexy mug flash across my TV screen during commercial breaks. Not to mention the magazine ads and billboards. Everyone wanted him and from sports drinks to running shoes, he was happy to oblige.

"Let's dance," Justin said, grabbing my hand when the D.J. slowed it down.

This was part of our plan. To let him think I was taken. It would only fuel the fire when he found out I wasn't. At least that was Kelly's theory, and for lack of a better one I was going with it.

"I'd love to." He curled my arms around his neck and I smiled up at him as we swayed to the music. "Why couldn't we have just fallen in love? It would have made life so much easier."

He kissed my cheek. "Some people are better off as friends," he said, smiling indulgently. "And you know I love you more than anyone else on the planet, but if I had to live with you I'd probably run away from home."

"Hey," I said, laughing as I slapped his shoulder. "Why do you say that?"

"I've seen the way you live. You're a neat-freak. I'm a slob. You like flowers. I like plaid and shit."

"You do not like plaid," I said, smirking.

"Okay, maybe I don't. But you get the idea."

"Excuse me."

I'd recognize that panty-drenching voice anywhere. It may be a little deeper than I remember, but there was no mistaking it. I gave him a quick once over as Justin turned me to face him. "Oh hey, Harris. I didn't know you'd be here."

Treat him like a casual acquaintance, an old friend you barely remember. That was the plan and I was sticking to it.

He raised an eyebrow when I called him by his last name. Everyone did and always had, but he'd always been Landon to me. "You mind if I cut in, buddy?" he asked, Justin.

"I guess that's up to the lady," Justin said, inclining his head toward me as he fought a smile.

"Landon Harris this is Justin McCall," I supplied, purposely avoiding the part where I explained my relationship with Justin.

Justin merely nodded in acknowledgement rather than offering his hand and for that reason alone I could have kissed him.

"I guess the whole point of this thing is to catch up with old friends," I said sighing, as though dancing with Landon was some huge sacrifice. "So, what could one dance hurt, right?"

Justin smirked. "Just remember, sweetheart. You leave with the guy who brought you." He shocked me by leaning in for a kiss while Landon looked stunned and maybe a little annoyed by the exchange.

Landon watched Justin walk away before he grabbed my hand and tugged me against his hard chest. "I know you're not married and that guy's not your boyfriend. So, what gives?"

His jealous tone took me back to another time, when he'd go crazy if he caught another guy hitting on me. "How would you know—"

"Social media."

I narrowed my eyes. "You don't follow me on social media."

He chuckled. "No, but my kid brother does."

I'd always been friendly with his brother so naturally when he sent a friend request, I accepted. I didn't think he'd pass the personal stuff I shared on to his bonehead brother. Or that Landon would even care.

"That dude's your friend, nothing more. So why was he acting like he's your man?"

"I guess it depends on how you define friend," I said, pissed that my plan was already going to pot.

"What does that mean?"

"Draw your own conclusions." I sure as hell didn't owe him any explanations, but if providing them pissed him off I didn't mind.

"You've slept with him?"

"What the hell is this?" I asked, glaring at him. "I haven't seen you in fifteen years. And you think you have the right to ask me who I'm sleeping with?"

The fight seemed to drain out of him as his big, rigid body relaxed. "You're right. I'm sorry. I had no right to question you about him."

He was ridiculously gorgeous. Dark tan, gray-blue eyes, black hair and shoulders built for holding on tight in the midst of a life-altering ride. Oh, and fighting off three hundred pound goons on the football field.

"I'd ask what you've been up to, but the whole world already knows." I had to acknowledge his accomplishments, but I didn't have to compliment him on the life he'd built since he'd dumped me.

I wouldn't have been so bitter if he hadn't promised that life would include me. I was going to go to the same college where he got his scholarship, study business, and after graduation, when he got the big league contract, we'd get married and start our life together.

That had been the plan. Until the weekend before he left for college he informed me he had a new plan. One that didn't include me. Oh, and did I mention he shared that after banging me senseless? The bastard.

"The world doesn't know everything, Olivia. They only think they do." His eyes drifted over me. "You're even more beautiful than I remember."

"Bite me, Harris."

He chuckled, his muscled chest rumbling as he held me tighter. "You know how much I love that? You're still real with me, not afraid to tell me off."

"If we weren't in a public place I'd have a lot more to say to you." Going off on him wasn't part of the plan, but now that we were standing face-to-face I was having a hard time keeping my emotions in check.

"I've got a room upstairs tonight. If you want a little privacy we could always—"

"In your dreams."

"You are. Every. Night."

I hated that he was making me feel things again. The only thing I was supposed to feel for him was hatred and the desire for revenge. I wasn't supposed to feel all mushy and gooey and yeah, I'll say it... turned on.

"That line may work on some dumb-ass groupie who's blinded by the big fat contract, your famous name or the size of your package, but it does nothing for me, okay?"

He tsked before breaking out in a grin that had me biting my lip to keep from smiling back. Did I mention he has dimples? Yeah, the deep, sexy kind you just wanna lick as you crawl on top of him and... whoa! Where had that thought come from? _Down, girl._ No, not down there!

"Such a foul mouth. I don't remember you swearing like this when we were dating."

"I was a kid then," I said, throwing my shoulders back and thrusting my chest out. The fact that the girls happened to be pressed against his rock hard pecs hadn't been my intention, but now that he'd noticed there was no sense backing down. "See something you like, Harris?"

"I like every single thing about you," he said, closing his hands over my hips as he pulled my body tight against his.

He was obviously aroused, and I remembered the kind of ride he could take me on, but I wasn't the kind of girl who let herself be taken advantage of. Twice.

"You remember that night in the bed of my truck?" He brushed his lips against my ear and I did not shudder. Okay, maybe I did. A little. "We'd been dating a couple of months already and I wanted you so bad..."

My lips turned up at the corner as memories came flooding back. "But I was a virgin and I wasn't ready to give it up until I knew you were worth it."

"I told you I was in love with you that night." His eyes locked on mine and I could have sworn I felt our hearts beating in unison. "I'd never said that to another girl before." The silence stretched on as we both replayed the scene in our minds. "Or since."

It was like someone stuck their foot out and tripped me. "What did you say?"

"You heard me." He smiled, looking sad. "I told you that you were the only girl I've ever felt that way about."

I cursed the tears that sprang to my eyes. "Do you know how much I hate you?"

"Liv, I—"

I pushed him away before running to the ladies room with my sister hot on my heels. Nothing was going as planned and I was going to kill her for getting me to agree to this. If I wasn't careful he'd be the one leaving with my heart. Again.

About the Author

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