 
# Fade

### Chaos #2

## Claire Farrell

### Contents

Introduction

Copyright

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

About the Author

Books by Claire Farrell:

# Introduction

Fade (Chaos #2)

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By Claire Farrell

Editing by Red Adept Publishing Services

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Cara Kelly should have left the faery realm by now, but her journey isn't over yet. Guilt-ridden by the fact Brendan's life was exchanged for hers, she's determined not to let him turn into a shade. Running from the enemy and her friends alike, she sets out on a path that will lead directly through the growing Darkside.

Even if Cara makes it to the Fade, even if a goddess watches over her, she doesn't trust all of her companions, she still has to find a way home, and freeing Brendan could cause a war between the two faeries she cares about.

And all the while, Chaos grows unchecked.
**Copyright © Claire Farrell**

Book cover image provided by Yocla Designs

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**Licence Notes**

* * *

All Rights Reserved.

 Created with Vellum 

# Chapter 1

Rain water ran down my back as a giggling sprite shook a branch of sodden leaves right above my head.

"Cut it out, Realtín!" I moved out of her reach and paced.

Grim climbed out of another tree and nimbly jumped to the forest floor. "She's almost here."

I rubbed my chilled hands together. "You worried?"

"Always."

A naked woman with flowing golden hair stepped out from behind a tree and strode toward us.

Realtín flung a berry at her. "Lose your way?"

Ignoring the jibe and the berry, Bekind handed me a hooded cloak. "To make you less recognisable."

"We might be less recognisable if you put some bloody clothes on, Bekind."

She favoured me with a lazy smile. "I'm more use to you as a cat. Just wear the robe, Cara."

I slipped the robe around my shoulders and pulled up the hood. Instantly, I felt more secure. For an entire day and night, I had been anxiously waiting for someone to come after us, someone to say we didn't belong, but nothing had happened. Drake hadn't followed. I tried not to be pathetic about that, but things had gotten confusing since he'd regained his body with the help of a trio of demi-goddesses.

Bekind reached out and tightened my hood. "A friend will help us. He's not so far. It's good that we came this way for help. If anyone follows us, they'll be delayed by searching the usual places." She looked around at the three of us. "When we get there, let me do the talking. Realtín, do _not_ offend anyone. They could turn on us for less. Do you understand?"

Diving from the tree, Realtín shimmered red before hiding under my hood and clinging to my hair.

"We'll be okay," I murmured, reaching up to pat her. "You don't have to come with me."

She tugged my hair a little tighter in response.

Bekind's eyes narrowed on me. "Are you sure you're ready for this?"

"This was my idea," I said. "I'm more than ready."

"Then let us press on. We've a lot of ground to cover before we can traverse the Fade and rescue Brendan's soul." She touched my cheek almost fondly. "I hope you survive."

She turned and strolled away, all naked swaying hips. Two months earlier, I might have been more concerned by the nudity, but the faery world had its own set of rules. I had broken plenty of my own rules in that time, so I couldn't exactly judge.

Grim, Realtín, and I followed Bekind. We had been shivering in the woods for over an hour, and I had almost given up hope that she would return. Waiting around with an impatient sprite wasn't anyone's idea of fun.

"We need payment," Grim said, jogging to catch up with Bekind. "For supplies."

Bekind shrugged. "Plenty of kinds of payment out there."

Before I could question her, she turned into a black cat and stepped out onto the mucky road. I was beginning to learn that morphing into the cat was her avoidance trick. Not for the first time, I felt as though I were stuck in a fairy tale, wandering on an enchanted path to who knew where with only a shape-shifting cat, a mischievous sprite, and a solemn brownie for company. I couldn't say the fairy tale life didn't have its benefits, but walking through mud wasn't one of them.

Every step squelched as though the mud was actively trying to suck the shoes off my feet. The shoes weren't mine, and they didn't fit, so when one came off and vanished beneath the mud, I tossed the second and moved on in my bare feet. Something tickled the soles of my feet.

We'd been trudging in ankle-deep mud for twenty minutes when the scent of meat filled the air. My stomach growled. I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten a full meal. I had been so nervous about the ceremony and the trials, so worried about Brendan _and_ Drake, that I had picked at my food the entire time. But I needed strength. My thighs and hips were already starting to ache from walking.

We approached a crooked little building on the side of the road. A small stable was attached to the side, and a field behind it was full of vegetation. Some goats grazed in a meadow with a donkey that looked straight at us and baled mournfully.

"An inn?" Grim frowned. "We'll surely be noticed at an inn."

The cat trotted onto the porch then looked back at me. Rolling my shoulders, I stepped up and pushed open the door, ignoring Realtín's cold pinches.

When I entered, a blast of steam threatened to suffocate me, but then the air thinned, and all I noticed were the aromas of stew, freshly baked bread, and ale. Sounds of laughter and conversation came from behind a closed door to the right. I spotted a balding, obese figure behind a table, rubbing his hands together as he gaped at us. Despite the sweat rolling down his face, he gathered blankets around his shoulders as if he were half frozen.

"I've been waiting," he complained in a high-pitched voice. "Come. Come this way before they return."

The man rose and, panting with each step, led us through a door on the left. When we stepped inside, he slammed the door behind us and leaned against it. I looked around the room—one bed, no windows, lit only by a small lantern.

"There. We're in." He giggled like a small child, rubbing his hands together again.

Bekind transformed into her human form and hugged the man. Somehow, he seemed younger than my first impression had suggested, although with the fae, age was pretty hard to guess in the first place.

He turned and eyed me warily. "Perhaps you're hungry. Yes, I'll send for food."

"First, the supplies," Bekind said softly. "We can wait to eat. We need to be ready to flee. Any news yet?"

"Celebrations," he said. "Pastels in the smoke. All is well. They believe the king is the one they voted for."

"Good. You know what we need?"

"Yes, but are you sure this is the right journey?"

She patted his sweat-stained cheek. "Certain, Ivan."

He hesitated as if he wanted to say something else, but then he nodded and bowed out of the room.

Bekind took a seat. "Now we wait."

She never looked uncomfortable, no matter the occasion, but I felt sick. Celebrations meant there was a king, but it wasn't Brendan. When the fae realised Drake wasn't strong enough to control both courts, mayhem would ensue. Drake didn't know it yet, but he needed Brendan. We all did.

I sat on the bed and tried to calm my breathing. I had to be crazy, walking into the Fade, but I couldn't go home and leave Brendan there without even trying. Besides, I didn't have a home anymore. I had lost my job and my family because of the fae. All paths were closed to me—all but one.

"I hope he knows what we've gone through for him," Realtín whispered.

I reached for the sprite. She huddled against my hand like a frightened animal. I tried to catch Grim's eye, but he refused to look at me. I knew why. I would try to persuade him to take Realtín and run, and he would refuse to even think about it. We had played that song in the forest more than once.

"Why is there no electricity or anything?" I asked. "Everything is so old-fashioned."

"It interferes with the magic," Grim said. "In the human realm, it isn't so bad, but here, it causes problems. Nobody has dared try since the seasons stopped."

"The seasons stopped?" I forgot to feel scared in my interest.

"Once, there were seasons like in the human realm," Bekind said. "But then faery royalty claimed to have power over the seasons. The summer court, the winter court—they all like to show off and prove their worth, but that offended Brighid, and when she turned her back, she took the natural weather away."

"They say the power lessened with it," Grim added.

Bekind nodded. "I believe that's true. Everything changed then. And now, the power of whoever is in control decides the weather, and that is why we often celebrate our festivals in the human realm."

"The last Seelie queen liked the sun," Realtín said in a small voice. "It was always too warm. All of the time."

"And her sister fought back with wind and storm clouds," Grim said. "Monsoons destroyed entire villages because of the war in their hearts."

I meant to ask more questions, but a knock at the door interrupted us. Bekind answered it and retrieved a tray of food. She laid it on the table. We all reached for some, but she slapped my fingers away.

"I taste first," she said firmly. "From now on."

"Why?"

"I don't want you to be poisoned."

"But you don't mind if you are?"

She grinned, and her teeth looked distinctly pointed. "I have a stronger stomach than you. Besides, it's my job to protect you."

I stared at her in disbelief. "Do you realise how many times I've almost died already?"

She wagged her finger. _"Almost_. You're still alive."

"You were supposed to protect my mother, too," I said under my breath.

She handed me the bowl of stew she had tasted. "Also still alive."

I shook my head at her nonchalance. "And does your friend know who we are?"

"He knows who I am and that I need access to the Fade. That's enough to keep his mouth still." She cocked her head. "For a time, at least."

I arched an eyebrow. "For a time?"

"Once we reach the Fade, nobody will try to stop us. The truth won't be harmful then."

"It'll be harmful for Drake!"

Grim squeezed my hand.

Bekind looked at me. "He's stealing a crown, Cara. Does he deserve it?"

"That's not for me to judge," I said, digging into the stew. "I just want Brendan to have a real chance at life."

"And why is that, I wonder?"

I stared at her, my appetite gone. Sometimes I wondered, too.

"Leave her alone." Realtín rose in the air, turning alarmingly red. "She's human. She does things for reasons the likes of you would never understand. And if you try to harm her—"

"The likes of me?" Bekind laughed. "And what would that make you?"

"It makes her my friend," I said. "And if we're going to travel together, you're going to be nice to her. If you can't manage that, then forget all of this."

I half expected Bekind to walk away; I kind of hoped she would.

But she swallowed hard, red rising in her cheeks, and said, "Fine. Eat up. We've a long way to travel."

She very badly wanted to come with us. But why? I didn't trust her, but she was the only one offering to lead us into the Fade. Grim was studying her. If anyone could learn her motives, he could.

We had finished eating by the time Bekind's friend returned. He looked more confident. Actually, he looked fit to burst, as if he could barely contain the delicious secret he knew. I had a feeling that was what Bekind meant: Ivan couldn't be trusted for long. But did she want the fae to know the truth?

"Ivan," she said warmly, "you must have wings attached to your ankles to move so fast."

He gave her a coy smile then snapped his fingers. A couple of small faeries followed him into the room, all of them with their arms full.

"Don't worry," he said. "They have no tongues, and if they share a secret, they'll lose their fingers, too."

I stared at the faeries in horror. One gave me a wide smile, proving Ivan had spoken the truth. Sadly, it wasn't the worst thing I had witnessed amongst the fae.

Bekind patted Ivan's arm. "What do you have for us?"

"Everything you asked for... and a little more."

"You're a good boy, Ivan. Always have been."

"They'll leave the clothes here," he said. "I'll have the rucksacks attached to the horses."

"Just one horse," Bekind said. "You know the one. The cat shall lead."

He nodded. "Of course. I'm worried you'll need more protection, though."

"I think luck is with us today," she said.

I exchanged a worried glance with Grim. We were out of the loop, and I didn't like it.

"Don't worry," Bekind said when Ivan had left with the faeries. "We'll be leaving soon. Grim, check on the horse while I dress Cara. Nobody will pay attention to a brownie."

He hesitated, looking at Realtín.

"Go," I said. "We'll be fine, and you'll be right outside. I'll be quick."

He bowed and left. Sometimes I thought he had convinced himself that he belonged to me, or maybe he was just too used to obeying orders.

"I'm pretty capable of dressing myself," I said when Grim shut the door.

"I know," Bekind said. "But this is different." She held up the riding outfit Ivan had brought for me. "It's made from a special kind of leather. It's light, so you can move freely, but it might protect you from the sharp edge of a blade. If you're lucky."

"And Ivan just happened to have this lying around?"

Ignoring the question, she motioned for me to change. As I dressed, she hid daggers in the legs of the outfit.

"There's no point carrying heavy swords that none of us know how to use. We may be luckier with small weapons."

"Luck's a big thing with you," I said, adjusting the belt.

"Luck's the root of all," she whispered. She twisted my hair up and pinned it in place with what looked like a pointy chopstick. "And even your hair can hold protection. Some women like to put poison on their skin. Would you...?"

"No," I said firmly. "I don't want to become the toxic bitch of the faery realm, thanks very much."

"Your loss," she said with a mischievous smile. She made me sit on the bed while she put leather boots on my feet. "They fit perfectly. Please don't throw these away. They'll cost us a great deal some day." She stood and brushed her hands together. "Come. We're ready. Realtín, you are the one who must flee for help if things go wrong. Grim will defend Cara to the death, but it need not come to that if help is nearby. Remember, you are Cara's eyes now. You'll see the things she can't. Are you willing to work with me, sprite?"

Realtín nodded sulkily, but as soon as Bekind turned away, the sprite threw a crust of bread at the back of her head. Bekind curled her fingers into fists but otherwise didn't respond. I gave Realtín a wry look. She shrugged and flew around the room, sending beams of golden light in every direction.

"We all need to get along," I said to nobody in particular.

Bekind called Ivan, and I put on the hooded robe. I didn't think a hood would hide how un-faery-like I was, but it was better if my face wasn't recognised if somebody tried to stop us.

"Do you think Drake would keep us from finding Brendan so he can have the crown for himself?" I whispered to Realtín. More and more, I was realising I didn't know Drake particularly well, and I was beginning to doubt everything I had once thought I knew.

"No," she said confidently. "He doesn't care about power."

I hoped she was right.

Once Ivan had sent his pixies to distract the other inn patrons, the three of us followed him outside, where Grim was waiting. It had grown dark, but even in the gloom, I could see the wild amber eyes of the horse. The stallion blew out through his nose as he glared down at us.

"Maybe we could walk," I said, remembering the last time I had been on a horse. That equine had been intent on carrying me into the sea.

"You ride," Bekind said. "Ivan, help her mount. She's not used to it."

I edged toward the horse. He was impossibly black and beautiful, but large and terrifying. He turned his head and observed me for a moment before tossing his mane.

"Up you go," Bekind said softly. "Don't let him sense your fear."

"Oh, why didn't I think of that?" I planted one foot in the stirrup, gripped the reins with one hand and the saddle horn with the other, and tried to climb on by myself. I was dismally unsuccessful.

Ivan shoved me onto the horse's back then pulled his hands away from my waist as if he had been burned. I settled into the saddle and peered down, feeling way too far from the ground. I just knew I was going to fall. My knees tightened almost involuntarily against the horse's flanks.

"She has the instincts," Bekind said. "She'll learn the rest as she goes."

The horse bent his head, and I thought I would topple forward, but I leaned back in time. I cleared my throat. "Uh, what's his name?"

"Dubh," Ivan said. "Not the most original, but there it is."

The horse moved a couple of steps at the mention of his name. I pressed my knees and heels against his sides in a panic, desperate not to fall. "Is it just me, or is this saddle humongous?" I asked.

"He's not the average horse," Ivan said. "Plenty of room for the... um... group."

Grim climbed up in front of me and took the reins. Realtín excitedly flew around my head.

"Farewell, Ivan," Bekind said, stretching up to kiss his cheek.

Ivan nodded and slipped back inside the building, still clearly delighted to be a part of the plan. Bekind turned into a cat and darted away from the inn.

Grim took charge of the horse. "On, Dubh," he commanded, slapping the reins.

With a toss of his head, the horse trotted after Bekind. I looked back to see Ivan hanging out of a window, watching us leave.

"Are we safe?" I asked Grim. Bekind didn't speak as a cat, so there was no point in trying to talk to her.

"We're in the land of the fae," Grim said. "We're never safe."

# Chapter 2

We left the mud behind and cantered down a dusty path. Realtín flew high to get a better look in front of and behind us.

"If so many fae have wings, then why don't they all fly?" I asked as I watched the sprite soar.

"Their wings are too weak to support their bodies," Grim said. "A sprite's wings are larger than her body and can't be folded away. Some fae can hover, but many hide their wings in shame."

"I wouldn't be ashamed of having wings."

"That's because you didn't grow up here. Wings exist mostly in the lower classes. It's considered poor breeding. Royals, for example, don't have wings."

"Drake does."

"The court will forget about that fact in time. He'll either hide them or have them removed."

I shivered at the thought of his beautiful wings being sliced from his body.

A thick forest lay on either side of us, and the winding road seemed to go on forever. My fear had subsided, but the ride gave me nothing to do but think of home and Drake and the fae I considered friends, as well as all of the things I would soon miss. I touched the necklaces around my neck: the butterfly locket that had been a gift from my mother and my brother's medal. I wished I could see my mother again, but after everything, I had no idea what I would even say to her. I wasn't sure how I would fit in back home after the things I had seen.

Realtín grew tired of flying and landed on my head, gripping my hood tightly. I sometimes thought of her as a tiny glowing monkey.

Bekind disappeared into the forest. Dubh kept trotting on the path, no matter how much we urged him to follow her.

I yanked on the reins in frustration. "This is ridiculous. Why won't he do as he's told?"

"He's a faery horse," Grim said. "You can't ever trust a faery horse."

I laughed. "Don't I know it?" I kissed the top of Grim's head, amused by his embarrassment. "You can still leave, you know. There's time."

He shook his head. "We can't leave you now. You and Brendan and Drake are the only ones who have ever been good to us. Leaving you alone would be a disservice to all three of you."

"Even Drake?"

The cat leapt from a high tree branch onto the ground in front of us, dramatically changing into the svelte blonde again. Dubh pulled up just in time, rearing a little to express his annoyance. I was definitely going to fall off before the journey ended.

"I've found a place for us to rest a while," Bekind said. "We'll eat and sleep then move on before the sun comes up."

She walked into the forest. Dubh followed her.

"Dubh, you little jerk," I whispered.

The horse whinnied. A little mockingly, I thought.

"There are weapons hidden on the horse," Grim said. "Make sure you learn each and every one, just in case."

In case of what, I wanted to ask, but I didn't dare. He started pointing out the hidden compartments. I didn't have the heart to tell him that there were weapons hidden about my body, too—even in my hair. I didn't get to carry a sword because that would be conspicuous and the fae thought of me as a human weakling who couldn't possibly defend herself with a real weapon. Or maybe I was just feeling grumpy. Either way, my best chance of survival probably involved a lot of running away.

"You're not paying attention," Grim said. "This isn't the human realm, Cara. Your hands will be bloodied before the end."

"It might not come to that."

"It will always come to that here." He slid a dagger from the sheath at his waist and made slashing motions in the air. "If it comes to their death or yours, always make the right choice. There can be no hesitation, no emotional responses. If death is the only escape, then it must be your opponent's."

"I'm not exactly used to holding knives and stabbing people," I said.

"Watch how I use my wrist," he said as if I hadn't spoken. "You need to be quick, to keep moving. Never linger." He kept demonstrating, pinpointing places on his body that would be quick and easy for me to mark.

"Stop trying to scare me," I said at last.

"If this scares you, then you're in the wrong place. Turn back."

"I won't," I whispered, but he already knew that.

We came to a clearing that was blocked from the wind by thick tree trunks and heavy branches. Dubh stopped walking and shook his head as if to tell us to get the hell off. Grim slipped down to the ground. I started to follow suit, but Bekind stopped me.

"Careful," she said. "You're not used to this. It might hurt."

I shrugged off the warning and lifted my leg. Every inch of my skin burned. "Okay." I sighed. "It hurts a bit."

Realtín giggled. That was a relief even though her amusement was at my expense. She had been far too quiet since we'd left Drake and the others. I slid awkwardly off the horse, helped by Bekind. I stumbled when I took a step. Dubh turned his head, gripped my hood with his teeth, and kept me on my feet.

I patted him. "Maybe you're not a jerk after all." He sneezed in my face. "Wrong again."

Realtin sat on the horse's neck and twisted his mane into braids. He shook his head to throw her off, but she clung tight.

"There's a stream close by." Bekind unsaddled the horse. "Dubh will find his own way."

"But will he come back?" Grim asked.

"He'll return," Bekind said. "We'll be sheltered from wind and rain here for a time. Grim, build a fire. Realtín, help Cara prepare the food. I'll set out a place for us to sleep." She hesitated, looking at me. "There will be no privacy."

"Really? I was expecting a private suite and my own personal maid." I made a face at her arched brow. "Just because Brendan wrapped me up in cotton wool doesn't mean I can't handle this, okay? I'm getting used to the way things are with the fae and—"

"This is the fae realm," she said urgently, gripping my wrists. "You'll never truly understand everything you see here. This will be the worst time of your life, Cara. Not just the violence. There's mental torture among the fae. We're still in neutral territory, but that doesn't mean it's safe."

"Then prepare me. Tell me what's in store for us, where we're going, and what we'll face."

She let go, her expression softening. "We won't know what we'll face until they're breathing down our necks."

"But you can tell us where we're going," Grim said. "Do that at least."

"When we eat," she said. "We'll rest, and I'll tell you the way we'll go. Maybe then you'll realise you don't want to come with us, little brownie." She clapped her hands. "We have work to do."

Grim and I unpacked the horse's burdens together, carrying the bundles over to Bekind and Realtín.

"Oh, look." I pointed at a tiny tree growing in the shade of the larger ones. "Apples." I swallowed hard as I approached the tree. At least the fruit wasn't red. I never wanted to eat another red apple again after the little obsession I'd developed on my first night with the fae. But maybe the horse would like me better if I brought him some fruit. I picked a fallen apple and held it out to Dubh. "Look, big scary horsey, a nice apple treat for you."

The horse snorted and turned away, slapping me in the face with his tail in the process.

"Ouch! What was that for?"

Dubh galloped away as if to escape from something. Realtín flew off the horse just before he left the clearing.

I looked at the apple and dropped it in a hurry. "Is it not an apple? Is it poison or something? I'm not going to need to eat seven thousand of these again, am I? Did he know—?"

"It's an apple," Bekind said, barely concealing her amusement. "He just doesn't like them."

Realtín giggled, and I made a face at her. Grim found some sticks and began to build the fire.

"Can't you use magic?" I asked.

"No!" He sounded horrified. "What a terrible waste of magic, Cara. Magic is finite. Only a fool uses it wherever he goes. Besides, it leaves a trace. We don't want to be followed, remember? We're taking this journey the hard way."

I took a half-hearted look through some of the bags. "Ivan packed some of that stew. I suppose we could heat that up while it's still good."

Bekind finished laying the bedding and watched us prepare the food. She didn't want to be with us, but she was desperate to come with me, even if I was useless. Then again, all she had done was roll out some blankets—not exactly rocket science. Grim was the only useful one.

"Is it safe to climb these trees?" I asked. "I want to see how big this place is."

Grim stood. "I'll help you. Bekind, watch the food." He studied the closest trees and shook his head. "This way."

We walked around until he found the right tree. The branches were lower, but the tree wasn't as tall as the others.

"I won't see a thing," I said.

"You'll see enough. Come. Test the first branch."

He made me go slowly, testing for grips and footholds and weaker branches. I hadn't climbed a tree in years, and I had never gone as carefully as Grim was insisting. He refused to let me go higher than halfway. Through the thick branches, I caught glimpses of an overwhelming stretch of trees, but that was about it.

"The food is ready," Realtín called as she flew after us.

I gave up on climbing and returned to camp, followed by Grim and Realtín. We sat around the fire, and Grim poured the stew into cups. He shared his with Realtín because we didn't have a cup small enough for her. The food was hot and filling.

The growing darkness made me anxious. "Dubh still isn't back."

"He'll be back," Bekind replied. "The night's not over yet." She gazed at Grim. "You wanted to know the journey."

"How about you tell me where we are first?" I asked. I was tired of wandering around aimlessly. I knew we were in the fae realm, but that was it.

"These are the outskirts of the Great Forest," Bekind said.

"Where Brendan used to hunt?" I asked.

"We're far from the hunting grounds and the main roads," she said. "It's safe enough here, but some travellers may come by this way as soon as the celebrations are over. We're taking a roundabout route, and that's why we have to move on quickly. The simple plan is to navigate our way across neutral territory and into the Darkside. From there, we find a way through the Hollows and the marshlands. First, though, we need to make it past the Darksiders and beyond."

"What's the Darkside?" I asked.

"A part of the realm that's been contaminated. It's... different there. There's a tear in the Fade. That's why the darkness is so prevalent there. It's been forgotten, but I remember."

"The darkness has spread across the land," Grim added. "They say it corrupts the fae and will eat up the whole realm someday. I've never met a person who has travelled there and returned."

Bekind ignored him. "Once we're inside the Fade, we have to find the bridge to the Wall of Spirits and hope that we can pull Brendan through. Of course, that's provided we get past the shades and everything else on the way. And then we'll have to find our way back, except this time, everything in the Fade and the Darkside will be after us." The shadows made her eyes look black. "Are you certain you wish to take this journey, Grim and Realtín?"

"They can turn back any time," I said fervently, my face growing hot. Maybe it was my imagination, but the fire seemed to burn brighter than before.

Grim collected the empty cups. "Bekind, you are the only one who isn't in control of her destiny here. We are free fae, free to make our own choices. Our paths have always been taken through love rather than desperation. I know that's hard for you to understand, but we will never leave you alone with Cara, so whatever you plan, forget about it now."

Realtín and I gaped at him in surprise. I had never heard his voice so harsh, never seen his head held as high. He had changed when he became a free fae, and I was glad of it.

"I'm going to wash these in the stream." His stern gaze never left Bekind. "You should all prepare for bed. It's going to be a tough journey." He walked away like a king.

"Should somebody keep watch?" I asked.

"Dubh will alert us to danger," Bekind said, refusing to look at me. "Grim is right. We should sleep."

Realtín tugged my hair. I had thought of her as the strong one, but it was becoming obvious that Grim was supporting her.

Preparing for bed consisted of lying down on a blanket. Bekind snuggled next to me as a cat, and Realtín and I stayed awake until Grim returned. Realtín kissed his nose before he doused the fire.

Hearing my name, I sat up in the dark, blinking fast. The moon was out, an eerie, wide lilac orb that cast a strange glow on the clearing. Everyone else was still asleep. Silence reigned, not even a rustle through the trees.

I started to lie back down when I heard the voice call my name again. Something familiar about the sound sent me to my feet in a hurry. I glanced back at my companions, but none stirred. Dubh would alert us to danger, Bekind had said.

I felt safe and warm. No wind touched my skin. I heard the sound again. It was almost... almost like my mother's voice. My breath hitched in my throat. How could it be? I had been trying so hard not to think of her, of the way we had left things. Even Zoe wouldn't know why I wasn't answering any calls. My phone was still in the bedroom of a human home cloaked with fae magic.

"Cara..."

Sure it was my mother, I ran, stumbling over the undergrowth until I came to a stream. Nobody was there. Of course, my mother wasn't there. It was my imagination... my guilty conscience maybe.

Sighing, I knelt beside the stream and dipped my fingertips in the water. I missed her, but the thought of seeing her again hurt. She had sent me away, but she didn't know the truth I did. I understood more than ever why I needed to keep away from my family.

Something in the ripples caught my attention. Planting both palms on the damp earth, I leaned over and gazed into the water. As the surface smoothed, I saw her—my mother's face. She was mouthing something, looking panicked and hysterical, just like the last time I had seen her. I reached for her.

The face turned monstrous. Snakes coiled out of her mouth. Her eyes bulged and popped with mucous.

I jerked back, but a pale hand reached out from the water and caught hold of my wrist. An iron grip tugged me toward the water. I screamed and struggled, but the invisible hand pulled me farther and farther into the water until my face and upper body were entirely submerged. Eyes wide open, I saw the monstrous version of my mother's face come closer, ready to end me with death's kiss. I screamed again, and my mouth filled with water.

Something yanked me backward, out of the water. A howl rose as the hand let go, and I tumbled onto the bank. I coughed out water and sucked in sharp breaths that hurt my lungs. Wet and shaking, I scrambled backward and looked over my shoulder. Dubh snorted at me.

"Shit," I whispered.

Slowly, I crept back to the stream and looked in, but there was nothing there. Dubh whinnied, making me jump. I moved back to the grass and sat there, panting. Every inch of my skin burned with horror, except for the ice-cold patch around my wrist that was stained with green finger marks.

"You saved my life, Dubh," I said, getting to my feet.

The horse came closer and rested his head on my shoulder. I heard the frantic calls of my companions. Dubh whinnied loudly.

I turned to him and gave him a quick hug before anyone could see. "I think you're my favourite faery horse, Dubh. Of course, the last one tried to drown me."

He blew out through his nose and nuzzled my neck almost affectionately, then he nipped my shoulder. Grim, a black cat, and some streams of crazy red light burst through the trees.

"I'm okay." I looked down at my wet clothes. "Well, now I am. Dubh helped me."

"What are you doing out here?" Grim asked, sounding exasperated.

The cat patted her paws in the shallow edge of the water before turning into a woman again. "She heard the siren call. There must be caves underneath here where they wait. The water really calls to you, Cara. You must be destined to drown some day."

I gaped at her. "What the hell, Bekind?"

She blinked, surprised. "What?"

"You don't just..." I shook my head. "Oh, never mind."

"The siren lures you with your heart's desire. So who did you hear or see?" she asked slyly.

I narrowed my eyes. "My mother. Sorry to disappoint you." I shivered, wrapping my arms around me.

"She needs dry clothes," Grim said, "and a hot drink before she catches a chill."

They hustled me back to camp. Grim worked on the fire while I went behind a tree and stripped out of my wet clothes. Bekind and Realtín did their best to help, but I was shivering too much to hurry. To my surprise, Ivan had packed a number of outfits.

"What's with all the clothes?" I asked a few minutes later as I sat beside the freshly burning fire with a cup of hot tea in my hands.

Realtín hovered behind me, plaiting my wet hair. Most of it would probably end up matted, but she needed something to do when she worried.

"We needed to be ready for every circumstance," Bekind said. "I've been preparing for this for a long time."

"How could you have known?" I asked sharply.

Bekind turned back into a cat and wandered over to the bed.

"Typical," Realtín said. She rested on my shoulder. "But you really need to stop wandering off. First with Sorcha, now this."

"I did not wander off with Sorcha. I was heading back to camp when the pixies pushed me off track, and Sorcha found me in the woods." I frowned. "At first, she just wanted me to go, then all of a sudden, she freaked out and decided to kill me. She started mumbling about power and sacrifices. It's like she knew something I didn't, but it only occurred to her right in that second." I shrugged. "Or else she's just crazy."

"She was jealous," Realtín said. "She thought she could have it all."

"But she could have," I said. "It was over. I never had anything she wanted, and I would have been sent home. I was nothing to her. I don't know what she was worried about."

"She was angry," Grim said, "and frustrated."

"I think Brendan made promises to her." I took a sip of tea. "But he was different when he came back. I don't... I don't think all of it was Drake."

"Not all," Grim said hesitantly. "But that was before he had his power back. He would have changed again if he had reached the coronation."

"You could have stayed with Drake," Realtín whispered.

I shook my head. "He told you to bring me home. Besides, he wasn't what I thought he was. He wasn't there when I needed him, wasn't there when I almost died. Brendan was, though. And Drake knew who his father was. All along, he knew it was Deorad, and he said nothing. What else did he hide?"

"Maybe he had his reasons," Grim said softly.

"Somehow, I don't think he's willing to share much with anyone," I said bitterly. "I thought... I don't know what I thought, but none of this feels over. And whatever happens, Brendan saved my life more than once. He's _changed_ my life. And he's stuck in the Fade so that I can live. That's not fair. I owe him more than going home and forgetting him. And when the fae find out the truth, they'll turn on Drake. If Brendan returned, he wouldn't let that happen. He told me once that he respected Drake, liked him even."

"Men don't remain unchanged when they taste power," Grim said.

"Then that includes Drake." I stared at the fire. "I don't know what to think anymore."

"I would remember the things that made you happy," Grim said. "The rest of it can wait until you know more."

"If I ever do."

I finished my tea, and we all settled down to sleep again. Dubh joined us, plonking his big horse body next to me and swishing his mane over my face. I brushed it away, but I had to admit that I felt safer with my companions surrounding me.

# Chapter 3

The next day, I ached all over. I hobbled around camp until my muscles started to loosen up a little.

"You look ridiculous," Realtín said. "It's like you're carrying something between your legs."

"Don't even," I snapped. "This is sore as fuck. Everyone's always all, 'Oh, horse riding wins.' Nobody tells you about the pain."

My distress made her laugh all the more.

"You'll get used to it," Bekind said sharply. She had been in a bad mood since we woke.

"Thanks," I said. "That's always helpful."

"We don't have time for whining," she replied, avoiding my eyes. "We need to move on before anyone changes their minds."

"I'm not going to change my mind," I said. "What's with you today?"

She shrugged. "We all have plenty to fear here, Cara. Not just you."

I helped Grim pack to avoid drowning in Bekind's melancholy. "What do you think of her?" I asked him.

"I think she carries many secrets," he murmured. "Beware. Always."

When it came time to leave, I refused to get on Dubh's back.

"He needs a break from me," I hedged. "And I need to run."

Bekind frowned. "You'll be exhausted."

"And thus too tired to bitch and moan when I finally have to get back on that horse. I'm sore. I need to stretch my legs properly."

"Fine," she said. "But if you slow us down too much..."

Back on the dirt path, I tied the robe around my waist to keep it from tripping me. I gave the riding boots to Grim and ran in my bare feet. The dusty earth was warm and even. Stretching helped the aching in my thighs. After warming up a little, I raced away from the others. Dubh galloped up behind me then eased into a laidback trot. Bekind disappeared.

"Come on, Dubh." I reached out and tugged his plaited mane. "Race me."

He shook his head, his amber eyes glowing. Then he galloped off, leaving me in the dust. Laughing, I raced after him until he took pity on me and slowed. In my head, I imagined my running playlist was blaring. Except I had given my MP3 player to Brendan, and the memory of that day left a hollow space in my chest. Things had already started changing then, growing more and more confusing until I wasn't sure what I remembered of Brendan, and what of Drake.

Dubh gripped my hood in his teeth and yanked me off the path, disturbing my reverie.

I struggled to free myself. "What the hell?"

Bekind came racing back, yowling a warning.

"Someone's coming," Grim said.

We rushed deeper into the forest, as fast as we dared without making too much noise. A few feet in, Dubh lay down abruptly. We hid behind him and peered through the gaps in the trees to see what was coming. My heart pounded. I imagined Sadler's guards plunging in after us, or worse, Drake sending Arlen to stop us. But would Arlen listen to him? He had been Brendan's bodyguard, after all.

The noise grew louder, and a dust cloud built on the path. Four large carriages that reminded me of the pumpkin transformed in _Cinderella_ travelled in a line, coming from the direction we had been heading. Flags flapped around the wheels. They moved slowly, so they weren't chasing us.

"Green flags," Grim whispered. "Green for Brendan."

A cheer sounded from within one of the carriages. One of the doors opened, and a person tumbled out and rolled along the dust path. He got to his feet and ran to one of the other carriages. When he reached it, he gripped the door, flipped, and landed inside. Laughter filled the air, and someone began to sing. As the carriages rolled out of sight, multiple voices had joined in the song.

"What was that about?" I whispered.

"Celebrations," Realtín said. "They're on their way to pledge fealty to Brendan."

"So nobody knows about Drake yet?"

"Or the word hasn't travelled yet," Grim said.

"What will they do to him when they find out?"

Grim hesitated. "He's related to Sadler. He has royal blood in his veins. That will help him."

I looked at him. "But?"

"But they're just as likely to turn on him. Drake won't let it get that far, Cara. He's a survivor. Stop worrying about him. You're in far more danger than he is. Remember, if he's already crowned, then he has power that nobody else alive has. The title alone gives a certain amount of respect."

Dubh rose to his feet, followed by Bekind. The cat jumped up a tree and travelled across the branches. Grim sat atop Dubh while I walked beside them, enduring Realtín shoving twigs down the back of my shirt at every opportunity.

"We need to avoid the road for a time," Grim said. "It's slower through the trees, but it's likely safer for now."

"I wish I had a map," I said. "So I could understand where we're going."

"We're going to places no human should visit," Grim said. "Nobody would think less of you if you decided to return to your human life instead of taking on this journey, Cara. We'll likely die before the end."

"What if we don't?" I asked. "And what if Drake needs help controlling the courts? What if he needs help with Sadler? When Sadler finds out Drake is in charge, he might try to steal the crown. He might cause a war."

"And what if Brendan was never meant to return?" Grim asked softly. "What if it is his fate to remain in the Fade?"

"I don't believe in fate."

Dubh and Bekind led us through the forest on foot for the rest of the day. The going was tediously slow, but more carriages passed on the road, so it was safer to stay hidden amongst the trees.

"What kind of fae are planning on pleading fealty to Brendan?" I asked. "Can you tell by looking?"

"All kinds," Grim said in a low voice. "Plenty we don't want anything to do with."

"We could just gallop past them."

Everyone ignored me. We couldn't afford to be seen. I knew that, but the journey was frustrating.

Two horses trotted down the road. A young couple laughed and whispered to each other as they passed our hiding place. I shifted uncomfortably and managed to snap a twig. The woman looked in our direction, pulling up her horse.

"Did you hear that?" she asked her companion. "There's somebody there."

He peered through the trees, looking concerned. "It's probably nothing."

"But—"

"I'll deal with whatever comes." He cleared his throat and shouted, "We're not travelling alone! Our group is less than half a mile behind us. Her father is a great warrior, and we're not afraid to stand our ground."

We stayed still, and they continued on their way.

I exhaled the breath I'd been holding. "Sorry. I didn't think."

Bekind made a growling sound.

"I said sorry," I whispered.

Grim pressed my arm to shush me. Apparently, the young couple hadn't lied. The largest party yet approached. Many single horse riders surrounded two extravagant carriages with a coat of arms painted on them. Grim inhaled sharply. The party passed without stopping, but I felt faint at the sight of the warriors on horseback.

"The warrior within those carriages once swore fealty to the Unseelie queen," Grim said. "His lust for blood was unparalleled. We're lucky he wasn't hunting along the way."

"There were no green flags this time," I whispered.

"Then he hasn't decided yet," Grim said.

"But he's making the journey with his family," Realtín said. "What does that mean?"

Grim lifted his shoulders. "Either he's presenting a challenge or he wishes to be persuaded. Deals will be made to avoid a war with his entire clan. I hope Drake knows what he's doing."

"And if he doesn't?" I asked.

"Then we could enter a war of the ages. We should press on. We're losing ground."

Dubh rose to his feet and followed Bekind through the trees. Realtín sat on the horse's back, clinging to his mane as she burned red and gold. Grim and I followed in silence. I felt as though we had survived a close call, but our journey hadn't even started yet. I hoped _I_ knew what I was doing, never mind Drake.

"You're right to worry," Grim said under his breath. "For us or for him."

I glanced at him. "Who? Drake?"

"Whatever he does now sets the stage for years to come. If he's clever, he'll assign a wise advisor to stand by his side."

"Is that what Sorcha was to Brendan? His advisor?"

"Unofficially, yes," he said. "She wasn't good at it. She kept trying to push him into her way of thinking. With any strong ruler, that's a stupid choice, and Brendan was wilder than most. Trying to contain him was a mistake. That's why she battled you so much. She thought you were playing the game when you were really treating him like a normal person."

"He wasn't, though. A normal person, I mean. He would have been out of my reach as soon as he regained the throne."

"As long as you're aware of it," he said. "Never forget that the likes of us aren't on the same page as kings."

"You should be." I squeezed his shoulder. "You're better than any old king."

He glanced over his shoulder at me, his cheeks flushing pink. "Human terms mean little here, Cara."

"I know. I just want you to know how I feel about you. You and Realtín made this bearable, but you've grown. You've left behind the tormented brownie who killed his queen. You're stronger now. Realtín and I rely on you."

He let out a shuddering sigh. Realtín felt no guilt, but I sometimes suspected that Grim did.

Later that afternoon, we came to a fork in the road. The main fork cut through a meadow that reminded me of the one in Brendan's secret place. The cat hesitated briefly before running down the narrower path that wound back through the forest. I started walking alongside Dubh, but he gripped my hood and shook me fiercely.

"He needs to run," Grim said from atop the horse's back. "Get up here, Cara. We must make up some time."

Bekind had vanished already, and Realtín was spinning above my head in agitation. I climbed onto Dubh, groaning at the aching in my legs. The saddle had become a legitimate form of torture. The faster Dubh rode, the worse I felt. I wasn't used to that kind of exercise, and it showed. By the end of the day, I wanted to cry.

"Bekind!" Grim called eventually. "That's enough for now. Cara won't last if you keep this up."

For once, Dubh obeyed when Grim pulled on the reins. The horse slowed then stopped.

Bekind appeared, the blue eyes of her woman's form flashing with anger. "Pathetic," she snapped. "We could be out of neutral territory by now if it wasn't for her weakness."

"I haven't ridden this much before," I said. "It hurts, Bekind."

She shook her head. I saw tears in her eyes.

"If we hear anything, we can run," Grim said. "For now, she needs rest. I'm tired, too."

"Do you think I'm not tired?" Bekind asked in a low voice. "Do you think I'm not hurting?"

"How would we know?" I asked. "You never talk to us. You're the cat most of the time. How are we supposed to know anything about you?"

She blinked a couple of times. "Fine. We'll camp nearby. Tomorrow, you'll have to ride twice as far, Cara. We're not safe yet."

"You don't have to come with us," I said. "You could give us directions or—"

"I have to stay with you!" She held up a hand. "We need to eat and rest. We've an early start in the morning."

Grim and I exchanged a glance as she stormed through the trees.

I eased off the horse. "When does this get easier? I'm sore in places I didn't know existed."

"You'll get used to it the hard way," Grim said. "I'm sorry for that."

"Not your fault."

We found Bekind a while later. She had discovered a moderately sheltered spot next to a small pool of water.

"It's clean and safe," she said. "Drink from it but wash in a running stream in future. Pick from the fruit trees to preserve as much of Ivan's food as possible. We're going to need the meat."

"I can hunt," Grim said. "Fish perhaps, or a rabbit. Nothing larger, though. If we need meat, I can—"

"Save your energy," she said. "The trip will be rough for you as well as the human." She laid out a blanket, turned into a cat, and promptly fell asleep.

"She can hunt during the day," Grim explained. "She doesn't need to eat with us as often. We'll eat the rest of the stew. It won't be good tomorrow. In the morning, we can have the fruit before we leave."

Grim built a fire and heated the food. While we waited, Realtín and I gathered some fruit.

"How come so much of the fruit is the same as what we have back home?" I asked her as we searched.

"Someone probably liked them and decided they needed them in the fae realm, too. Or maybe it was the other way around."

"What about the food at the queens' festival? Where does that grow?"

Realtín laughed, the red juice of a berry staining her chin. "Food fit for a queen is only grown in their gardens. The likes of this is too common. Even if it does taste better. It's all about appearances."

We ate in silence, Bekind's bad mood tainting the atmosphere. Once we lay down, I shivered under the blanket, unable to relax. I kept listening for noises, expecting someone to come for us at any minute.

I had a troubled sleep and was woken by the smell of something cooking over the fire. One small rabbit was strung above the fire. Grim had been hunting. We ate some of the meat for breakfast, and even Bekind seemed grateful.

Then, we got back on the road.

# Chapter 4

That afternoon, I constantly shifted in the saddle to find some kind of relief that apparently didn't exist. I could add horse riding to my list of regrets, or at least the fact I hadn't tried it enough before our journey. The path darkened as the trees grew closer together, blocking out the sun.

"This is an old place," Grim said. "I've never seen it before."

"You'll need to tend to her," a voice called out from the trees.

Grim tensed in front of me. Even Dubh faltered a little. I looked around but saw no one. We kept riding.

About a mile down the road, the voice came again. "She won't be able to ride tomorrow if you don't help her."

I looked all around us until I spotted a small figure high up on a branch.

Impossibly old, yet hanging out on the highest branch of the tree, she pointed at me. "There'll be sores tonight. Fester, they will. We can help."

Dubh slowed, and Bekind shifted form, her human face thunderous. She was way nicer as a cat. "Who are you?" she demanded. "What do you want?"

"I want nothing. I'm just passing on my wisdom. Isn't that what we old crones are supposed to do?"

Bekind looked back at me. I tried not to wince.

"She'll be fine," Bekind said haughtily.

"No," Grim said. "She's in pain, and she's struggling. We've a long way to go. We could use some help, please."

Realtín flew up to the woman, streams of red dashing from her. "Can you help?"

"Of course we can. We're the sisters of the wood," a voice from another tree said scornfully. "The daughters of Miach. Who can help more than we?"

And then I saw that there were many, all of them kneeling, sitting, or hanging from high branches.

"Interesting," Grim murmured. "I thought them legend."

"You know them?" I asked.

"I'll explain later." He raised his voice to say, "We'll willingly accept your help. Do as you will."

Bekind threw her hands up in frustration.

"No more riding today," another of the women said. "We'll clean her up and help her, and soon she'll be tough as leather. First things first, though. This way."

As one, they dropped from the branches to the ground. They ran, disappearing into the trees.

"Come on then," Bekind said with a sigh. She transformed and dove into the woods.

Dubh bent his knees, and I took the hint.

"Thank you so much," I whispered when my feet were on the ground.

Dubh followed Bekind but kept his pace slow so that I could keep up. I probably shouldn't have trusted the weird tree women, but I was in desperate need of relief.

"Tell me about them, Grim."

"We used to call them the Miacha. Old tales, mostly forgotten. Miach was a great healer, killed by his father out of jealousy because he surpassed him. Some say that the father cut Miach's brain in half as a final resort."

"Why his brain?"

"Because Miach healed all of the other injuries given to him. The brain was the only possible fatal wound."

"But he had kids first?"

Grim shook with his head, smiling. "Not quite. The variation I heard was this: When Miach lay on the ground, dead by all accounts, his father knelt over his son's body and cried with regret. His tears mixed with Miach's blood and sank into the earth. Over time, something grew there, and around it, the Great Forest was formed."

"Well, what grew there?"

"The sisters of the forest. Born of his blood with all of his knowledge intact." He grinned. "Sounds unbelievable to you, I know, but that's the tale. They are born of Miach, so they are his daughters."

"You fae are so freaking weird sometimes. I like the story though. You should tell me more tales some time. I think I remember the story of Miach and his father, but I'd never heard of his daughters."

"Perhaps it's a legend fostered by those who want us to believe."

Realtín snorted. "Even if the story is true, that doesn't mean that they're telling the truth about who they are."

We walked through the forest until we came to a well-worn track. Beyond lay a stream and an ivy-covered house. A large herb garden had been planted beside it.

Grim sniffed the air. "Smells like... I think we'll be safe here, Cara. I'm sure they can help you."

Realtín snarled. "If they don't, I'll torment them until they throw themselves into that stream."

One of the women greeted us at the door. They all looked alike. Their skin was weathered and wrinkled, their eyes hooded. They were short, not much larger than Grim. I kept picturing them growing from the earth and spawning an entire forest. Looking at their flourishing garden, I could almost believe it.

"Come on in," the woman said. "Let's get started. The horse isn't to eat any of our plants, mind."

Grim, Realtín, and I headed inside while Dubh went to drink from the stream. The house's interior was deceptively large. The air was cool and somehow soothing. Plants covered most of the surfaces.

The woman took my hand. "I'll take her to the bedroom and sort her out." She waved at Grim. "Brownie, get a bite to eat in the kitchen. Go on. Nobody will force you to stay. And make sure that sprite of yours doesn't knock anything over as she noses around."

I followed her up some winding stairs and into an attic bedroom. Bekind was already there, curled up on a pillow on the bed, her black fur gleaming red in the sunlight streaming through the small window. Dust motes flew in the air. It all seemed so normal. But nothing was normal with the fae. I hesitated at the door.

"Move or they won't be able to get the bath in," the woman said.

Four others carried a hip bath full of steaming water inside as soon as I moved out of the way. The women looked identical to me at first, but then I noticed they all had different coloured eyes.

The grey-eyed woman said, "In the bath first of all."

"I'm okay," I said.

"Now, don't be shy. You don't have anything new to show us, that's for sure." The women all laughed as one.

A little self-consciously, I undressed and stepped into the bath. At first, the water felt cool, but as I eased into it, it warmed up nicely. The water smelled minty and felt a little tingly.

"Oh," I said. "That's so much better."

"Need to soothe your muscles first," the green-eyed woman said. "You must be stiff as a board."

"A little." I started to doze off, then I heard a clattering downstairs and some raised voices. "Realtín," I murmured.

"Never mind her," the pink-eyed one said with a chuckle. "Here, drink this."

She held a glass to my lips. I sipped some tangy water. It wasn't too bad, and I felt even more relaxed afterward.

"Won't hurt as much now," she said. "I promise. Safe to drink. Don't you worry. We nourish and cultivate here. We like life to continue the way it should."

"Thanks," I said. "I can feel it working already."

She winked. "Our herbs are the most fertile."

They let me soak for what seemed like ages. Then Grey Eyes told me it was time to get out.

"You'll feel better," Pink Eyes said, "just as soon as we use our best ointment."

They had me lay face-down on the bed. They covered me with towels while they inspected the welts on my legs and backside. I saw some of the marks in the mirror and winced.

Blue Eyes sucked air through her teeth. "That must have hurt."

Green Eyes sighed and rubbed my back. "Poor thing is delicate as a flower and on such a horse in her condition. What were they thinking?"

The women tutted over me as they soothed the pain with ointments and creams. Then, they bandaged the sorest places.

"You'll be better before you know it," Green Eyes said, handing me a light summer dress. "Get dressed and come downstairs. Once you have a bite to eat, we'll give you something to help you sleep. You'll have the best rest of your life tonight."

Bekind jumped off the bed and ran downstairs. I threw on the dress and followed her. The women doted over me for some reason. I wasn't sure if it was because I was human or because they felt sorry for me or both.

I ate a great meal while Grim and Realtín watched over me. The women chattered as they cooked and cleaned and served us. It was almost like having ten mothers. I liked their home, and I wasn't keen on leaving. But Brendan needed us, and we had to keep moving.

"You're welcome here anytime," Brown Eyes whispered to me after dinner. "Always. Remember that when the path is rough or you need help."

"I doubt I could find you again."

She gave me a secret smile. "You never know."

True to their word, the Miacha gave me a sleeping draught. The night seemed to pass in seconds, but I awoke refreshed and ready to go. I headed downstairs to find the others eating breakfast in the kitchen.

"Come in and eat," Grey Eyes said. "You'll feel much better."

"How was your sleep?" Pink Eyes asked.

"Good," I said. "Great, actually. I feel a lot better."

"Can you ride today?" Bekind asked.

"I think so."

"Not until the afternoon," Blue Eyes said. "What are you thinking sending her out already? You eat up, little lady. We'll give you a nice bath and set you up to travel. Don't you worry."

They cooed over me as I ate, only stopping short of spoon-feeding me. Grim and I shared a bemused glance over their enthusiasm.

"Perhaps they haven't met a human before," he muttered as they good-humouredly fought over serving me seconds.

I had another healing bath, and the women used more ointments and redressed the bandages. They prepared to send us off—after another meal, of course—with some bundles of herbs, all with different uses.

"Now don't forget," Green Eyes said, patting my hand as I eased up on Dubh. "Chew on one pain leaf every time the aching starts. And whenever you can bathe, use the jar of ointment I gave you. Get rid of the bandages unless you really need them." She handed me a little bundle. "There's enough to last a week in there." She looked at Grim. "She'll be fine for a few hours, but don't overdo it. She's not as strong as she looks."

Embarrassed, I looked away. I was strong. I had to be strong.

"Thank you for your help," Grim said. "If we can ever repay you..."

"You'll see us again. That's a certainty, at least." She squeezed my hands. "And congratulations."

I gave a weak smile, wondering why she was congratulating me because a new king had been crowned. Unless she knew who we were and thought... well, who knew what kinds of conclusions random fae would come to?

"Let's go," Bekind said. She transformed into a cat and set off.

The riding hurt but nowhere near as much. With the pain eased, I could enjoy the journey.

But we were growing closer to danger. Soon, we would reach the dark side of the fae realm, where the rift had supposedly changed the very fabric of the world.

# Chapter 5

By the time we rested for the night, the aching had begun again in the lower half of my body, but once I chewed on another bitter leaf, I felt much better.

"This is miracle stuff. Any idea what it is?" I asked.

Bekind shrugged, staring into the fire, her eyes gleaming. I didn't understand her. She didn't join in any of our conversations unless she wanted to tell one of us off, she didn't seem happy, and she wasn't relaxed at all. She didn't make an effort to get to know the others, but they were obviously wary of her, too. I wondered if we would ever be like the little family we had felt like back at Brendan's home.

"I'm not familiar with the herb," Grim said.

Realtín danced above the fire. "Maybe the Miacha grew it from their noses."

"Nice," I said. "Why are you here again?"

She cackled. "Making sure you have someone to love."

I sighed. "I wonder what Anya and Líle are doing right now."

"Serving their king," Bekind said bitterly, eyes on the fire.

"What on earth is wrong with you?" I demanded. "You're so sour. Ever since we started on this journey, you've been different."

"You never knew _me_." She raised her head to look at me. "You knew a cat."

"I really liked the cat," I said softly. "But if we're going to spend so much time together, then surely it's for the best if we get along."

"I haven't caused any problems," she said.

"Bekind, that's not what I mean. You're doing the bare minimum, and it makes me uncomfortable. I should be mad at you for the things you've done, so why are you acting as though we've offended you?"

Her shoulders drooped. "You haven't. I know I'm not welcome. If you didn't need me, I wouldn't be here. Cara, I... the things I have to do are not always my first choice." She turned away, closing herself off again.

I wondered if she was talking about my mother or me. I had tried to clear the air, but somehow, the tension had grown thicker. I yawned.

"You should lie down while Grim finishes cooking," Realtín said. "I can see you falling headfirst into the fire."

I nodded and went to the blanket. Riding fatigue had definitely hit. I was soon asleep, unable to keep my eyes open long enough even to wait for the food Grim was making. I dreamed. Vividly and clearly, I kept dreaming the same thing. The night I slept with Drake replayed, except he walked away from me without a second glance, throwing a wooden butterfly in the bin. The entire time, a brash Celt stood over my shoulder saying, "I told you so," over and over again.

Dubh's whinnies woke me in the middle of the night. I sat up straight, heart pounding, partly from the dream. Breathing heavily, I looked for Dubh. In the darkness, I could only see his amber eyes flashing in the dark. He was too far away from the dying fire. None of the others had woken, so I lay back down and pulled the blanket over me, ready to sleep again.

Then I heard the sound of hooves in the distance. The night was so silent that I heard them plainly, but I couldn't tell how far off they were.

In a panic, I sat back up and woke the others. "Somebody's coming."

Bekind jumped up. "Get as much as you can! Be ready to move. I'll go see if I can find out what's coming." She shrank into a cat and was out of sight before I could blink.

We started packing our things as quickly as possible.

"What do you think it is?" I asked Grim.

"A hunting party," he replied. "It could well be. We should leave now."

A rustling noise came from the undergrowth. We all froze.

Bekind trotted out then transformed to say, "There's a group coming this way. Following our tracks, it looks like. Leave the rest. We don't have time for the saddle. Get on the road! We need to run!" She turned back into the cat and ran off.

Realtín flew after her without making a smart remark. That had me more uptight than anything else. I ignored the pain as my limbs cried out for mercy and climbed onto Dubh, who did his best to help by bowing as low as possible. Riding bareback was yet another thing for me to master. Grim mounted in front of me, and then we were off. I looked over my shoulder. We hadn't covered up any evidence of our being there, and we had left too many supplies behind. At least I had my bundle from the Miacha. I dipped my hand into it for a bitter leaf to chew on while we rode.

Dubh rushed through the undergrowth and made it out onto the road. Realtín and Bekind were way ahead, but Dubh caught up almost immediately.

"He's like the wind," I whispered in awe.

Way behind us, I saw a light between the trees, but the sound of hooves had stopped. Either Dubh had outrun them, or they had stopped to investigate our camp. I hoped it was the former.

"He's a true faery horse," Grim said proudly, patting Dubh's neck.

I gripped the reins tighter and leaned forward with Grim, going with the motion of the horse as I gripped his sides with my knees. I trusted Dubh enough to know he wouldn't let us fall, but sweat and foam made his body slick. He was pushing himself to the limits. If we fell at that speed, we might not get back up again.

I kept checking behind us but saw no one. The ride was relentless. And all the while, there was that prickling of fear down my spine that we would be stopped at best, tortured at worst. I had no idea who was behind us, but my imagination ran wild in the darkness.

The sun came up before Bekind let us slow to a canter. We ran out of forest and came to the beginning of another huge meadow. We continued for a while until Bekind relented and stopped. Dubh seemed only too happy to stop, and Realtín was asleep in my fallen hood.

Bekind turned into her human form, her face a little wan. She had grown so tired that she had occasionally rested on Dubh's back, too. "We may as well rest a while," she said. "They'll never catch up to Dubh."

"Where are we?" I asked. The sun beat down, causing beads of sweat to pop out on my forehead. I felt a little dizzy.

"Close to the Darkside. This is almost the last of neutral territory. We weren't truly safe here, but we'll never be safe when we reach the Darkside. We'll be there by nightfall. We don't have much time to rest, but we need to eat, and Dubh is winded." She shielded her eyes from the sun and looked ahead. "I can see the Hollows from here. We'll make it."

I slipped off the horse, but a strong wave of dizziness hit me. The world swam. Dubh held me up, but I sank to my knees.

"Cara!" Realtín squealed, patting my cheeks. "What's wrong?"

Lying on the ground, I held my forearm against my head. "It's the heat. I must be more tired than I thought."

"The riding is a lot for a beginner," Grim said, "especially that mad dash in the night when she was already hurting."

"And she hasn't eaten," Bekind added. "She missed our meal last night."

"My blood sugar's probably low," I said. I hadn't been keeping track, but my period was probably due. I wasn't going to mention that, though. "I'll be fine once I eat something. Sorry for being a wimp."

Grim ran off to find some water. He returned and held a wet cloth against my forehead. The coolness soothed me. The world stopped spinning, and soon, I was able to sit up again.

"Sorry for scaring you, Realtín," I said with a shaky laugh. "I feel much better now."

Bekind helped me to my feet. "Sit over here. You can eat some meat and fruit. You'll feel better after a cup or two of water."

Dubh walked next to me, as if sensing I needed to lean on him. I held the reins tightly, determined not to fall again.

"The riding has been too much," Bekind whispered as she helped me get comfortable. "And in this heat. Your world was cold when you left. Perhaps it still is, but here—"

I gazed up at her. "What do you mean, _perhaps_?"

"Time doesn't move here the way it does in your world," she said, frowning. "It barely exists, at least in the way you know it. This is the land of eternal youth, Cara. Days may pass, but they are not the same as human days. The closer we get to the Fade, the less sense it will make to you when we return."

"I don't get it."

"She means more or less time could pass while you're here, at least by your understanding. You won't know exactly how much until you return. There's just no way of knowing how much time the Fade will eat." Grim handed me a cup of water.

I stared at the drink, feeling chilled all of a sudden. "It could be a long time then?"

"It's unlikely to be too dramatic," Bekind said. "We're not going to dawdle here. We'll get back as soon as we can, I promise."

"Good." I took a sip of water and felt a little refreshed.

I obediently chewed on a hunk of freshly roasted rabbit, and Realtín amused herself by fetching fresh berries from a nearby bush. Soon, I felt like myself again.

"Take a nap," Bekind said. "When Dubh is ready, we'll move on."

We rested on some velvety grass. We didn't need a blanket in the sudden heat. Grim and Bekind were murmuring together when I dozed off. I didn't dream at all.

Later, Grim gently shook me awake. "We let you sleep as long as we dared. But it's time to move on now."

I nodded sleepily and sat up to drink from a cup of water he handed me. Peeing behind trees in strange forests made me feel a little scruffy, but we were far from faery courts. I felt a little less like hell when I climbed on Dubh's back again.

We rode through the late afternoon. Dubh's frantic gallop was gone, but he still kept a fast pace. The journey was boring because the featureless meadows stretched on forever. Every now and then, one would be a dramatic colour, but it was gaudy after the more natural-looking lush forest I had grown used to.

I sensed the change when we reached the Darkside. The air thickened, leaving a moist coating on my skin. That pulsing of magic grew erratic and made my heart race.

"Is it really called the Darkside?" I asked, shivering a little.

"It's the nickname for this area. It's a way of putting people off coming here, I suppose," Grim replied.

The sharp wind stung my skin, and the sun was smaller and darker than the one I was used to seeing. I wondered if it was a different sun or merely an illusion. The velvety grass had changed into a dry, arid wasteland, and the heat became intense.

"We should ride at night," I said. "It would be cooler then, right?"

"You never know with the Darkside," Grim said. "Nothing is as it seems in the fae realm, but the Darkside is the most chaotic place there is. Nothing can be trusted here."

"Have you been here before?"

"Not me. As a race, we don't venture out here much. Even the queens kept their council in the neutral territories. The rumours that come from here would make your hair stand on end. The quicker we travel through here, the better. There's something unsettling about this place."

I pointed at two large hills in the distance. On either side of them ran a wide river, but our path wouldn't get close to the water. "I take it that's the Hollows."

"The Hollow Hills, yes. They call it the Hollows because they say you can't walk between the hills with your soul intact. If you return, you return empty. Hollow. The truth may be something else. We'll have to be wary when we get there." He glanced around. "We need to be wary even now."

We rode on through a desert-like place until the sky became so black that we couldn't see in front of us. I almost fell off Dubh when I dozed off unexpectedly. He came to a stop and whinnied loudly. Bekind, who I hadn't seen for ages, suddenly appeared out of nowhere in her human form. I could barely see her. The only light came from Realtín, and even her glow had diminished the farther we moved into the Darkside.

"We'll rest behind those rocks," Bekind said, pointing at some enormous boulders. "They should shelter us a little from the wind."

We made camp. I was so tired that I wasn't much help. Even in my exhaustion, I kept glancing up at the boulders, terrified they would fall on top of us.

While Grim made some food, Realtín hummed on my shoulder and twisted my hair into knots.

"Do I have dreadlocks yet?" I asked, flicking her when she pulled too hard.

"You'll have to shave yourself bald when we get back," she said smartly. "There's no saving this mop."

Later, as we ate together around a small fire, Bekind nodded at me. "You're doing well. I didn't expect you to last this long. I know you're used to comfort."

"It's not so bad." I kept thinking I saw movement in the dark. It made me nervous, but if Bekind was complimenting me, I didn't exactly want to share my childish fears. I had good reason for them, but she already knew about that.

"Still," she continued, "you haven't complained, even though I know you're in pain."

I held up my bundle. "The Miacha did well by me. They're pretty amazing."

"And you're feeling better now? When you were ill, I did suspect the Miacha of harming you."

"I'm fine," I said firmly. "It was a mixture of everything hitting me at once. I just won't miss a meal again."

She nodded. "You need your energy. We all do." She glanced at our remaining meagre supplies. "It's a pity we don't have more."

"We can scavenge something along the way," Grim said. "Worst comes to worst, surely you can hunt us a small animal or two."

Bekind smiled hesitantly at him. She was so beautiful when she smiled, but she spent most of her time as a human scowling. As a cat, she seemed far more contented.

"Are we going to make it to the Fade?" I asked.

Bekind put on a determined expression. "We have to. We can't go back without—"

A scrambling sound to the left interrupted her. Dubh whinnied, stamping his feet. He ran toward the sound, his ears pricked and his eyes glowing even more than usual. I jumped to my feet and stared after him, straining to see in the dark. I heard a scream and a yelping sound, then Dubh galloped toward us, his eyes wide. Blood stained his front hooves and legs.

The ground collapsed. I screamed as I sank into a hole that opened up beneath my feet. Dubh gripped my cloak and tried to help, but a tiny hand grabbed my ankle. I kicked it away.

"What is it?" I shouted as multiple holes appeared in the sand around us. I grabbed a knife from a hidden pocket in my riding suit and held it tight, thinking of the Pooka I had accidentally killed.

"Tunnellers!" Grim shouted. "They bury themselves underground. Careful, they're nasty. Don't let them take you underneath!"

"You can't defend yourself, Cara!" Realtín went on fire. Streams of red and gold flew in all directions, giving us light enough to see for metres away. "You have to attack and mean it this time! You have to kill!"

She was spinning in a tizzy, but the glow gave us eyes again. But I wasn't sure I wanted to see what I was seeing. Ugly little creatures shot up from the holes in the ground, smaller than Grim, but far more ferocious looking, their teeth snapping. More sand collapsed around them, suffocating some of them. Still, they kept coming. Some ran on four legs, others on two feet, but they were all misshapen things, naked and hairless and covered in scars and mud-coloured paint. There were so many surrounding us that I didn't know how we would survive. Realtín was right. I had to kill to stay alive.

Following Grim's lead, I grabbed a second knife from my boot. Armed with both hands, I jabbed and kicked as three little creatures jumped me. Dubh neighed and trampled more flooding from the holes. Bekind slashed at them with her cat claws.

Grim jumped over a charge of them, stabbing them in their backs. He was gone after more before those fell, circling in an effort to protect Realtín and me.

One flew at my face. I impaled him on my dagger. I flung the body away in disgust, almost losing the knife in the process. I didn't have time to think, but after the first death of the vermin, the rest were easier. They came harder and faster, one by one, a never-ending stream.

They grabbed my ankles and pulled, trying to topple me over, but I was ready for them. I stamped and stabbed and kicked. Realtín ripped away one that had clung to my back. But there were too many. A group of them managed to knock me down, and more swarmed over me. I couldn't get back up, so I knelt there and swung my daggers.

I heard the clash of swords behind me and wondered what was going on, but I was too busy frantically stabbing the nasty, biting creatures pulling at me with their grimy clawed fingers. They made sucking sounds that turned my stomach. With a grunt, I stabbed the closest one through the forehead.

The wave of attacks eased all of a sudden. I knew by the sounds of swords and shouting that we were being helped. I stayed in place, knives in hand, and stabbed one whenever I could. I jabbed a tunneller to my right, and with my other hand, I ripped away a creature clinging to my hair and pinned him to the ground, where I ended his life with a quick thrust to the chest.

And then it was over. I looked around, shocked and appalled to see myself surrounded by dead bodies. Grim was close by, panting hard, his face covered in scratches.

Two legs appeared in front of me, and a pale hand was offered.

Looking up into violet eyes, I took Drake's hand and rose to my feet.

# Chapter 6

We stood there, staring at each other, my hand still in his. My insides whirled as I looked into his eyes. I was finally looking at Drake, just Drake, and I was on my way to get to Brendan. None of it made sense. A tingle spread up my arm, and my breath hitched.

"Hi," he said wryly.

"Hi."

His grip tightened. "Are you okay?"

"You can't make me go back."

The corners of his mouth rose into a bemused smile. "I realised that when I went looking for you after the ceremony only to find you had disappeared."

"You looked for me?"

He dropped my hand and made an exasperated sound. "Of course I did. Do you have any idea how dangerous this is?"

"Yes. And I'm not going to change my mind."

He folded his arms and scowled. "Obviously. That's why we have to come with you."

"We?" I glanced around, finally remembering we weren't alone. "Oh, my God!"

I ran to the group who had joined us. I felt as though we had been separated for ages. I hugged Anya tight.

She looked me over with tears in her eyes. "Realtín, what on earth have you done with her hair?"

"Kept it tidy!" Realtín snapped.

I moved on to Líle.

She thumped my shoulder in greeting. "Why do you have to insist on making me look bad at my job?" she teased. Then she pulled me close for a hug. "It was cruel to leave us behind," she whispered.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't wait in case he sent me away."

Arlen separated us. "Don't suffocate your charge."

I stared up at the imposing warrior faery. "You, too?"

He nodded. "If you had waited, we could have ridden together. I am responsible for Brendan's safety, after all."

"So you don't think this is stupid?"

"Oh, it's inherently stupid." He gave me a rare smile. "I just wanted to take part."

Next was Dymphna. The daoine sídhe had changed dramatically, losing that down-trodden look she had carried. Her strength was back. She even looked taller.

"I don't understand," I said. "What are you doing here? Where's your daughter? Is she okay?"

"Eithne is safe. She's with the other daoine sídhe," she said. "Thank you for your help with my situation. I went to the daoine sídhe and told them of Sadler's threats. They were mightily offended by his audacity. He has apparently forgotten that we are a noble race." She smiled. "And they were so outraged that they almost forgot they banished me. Drake came, too, and told them of the situation. They are willing to take charge and keep the peace until... a king returns. My daughter is under their protection, and I was given this quest as a chance to prove myself to them again." She bowed her head. "I owe him besides that, I think."

I glanced over my shoulder at Drake. "So you're king now?"

"Of course he's king," Sorcha scoffed.

Startled, I looked around and found her rebuilding the fire, a sneer on her face. Grim, Realtín, and Bekind were huddled nearby. Realtín was scarlet red, not a good sign.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I realised I was still holding a dagger in one hand.

"Maybe _you_ should tell her, Drake," Sorcha said with a mocking laugh.

I looked at him. His face was a mask again.

"Or I will," she added.

He frowned at me. "We need to talk." He hurried over and took my hands to pull me away from the others.

"I don't—"

"Trust me," he murmured.

Arlen handed him a torch, and he led me into the darkness, far away from the others, who began to sort out a new campsite. The tunnelled holes had ruined half of our original camp, and we needed more space for all of the extra horses and people. They had arrived on only four mounts, so some had ridden together. I stumbled in the sand, but Drake didn't stop until we were out of earshot of the others.

"So talk," I said.

"Things are complicated." He reached for me but dropped his hand before touching me. "They needed me to step in at the ceremony. Everyone was expecting my face. They didn't notice anything else."

"So you're going to give the throne back to Brendan when we find him then."

"No." He hesitated. "I need this power."

"You can't steal the throne."

"They gave it to me."

"Are you kidding me? Don't you see what you've done? How dangerous it is for you and everyone else?"

"I'm not done yet—"

I shoved him. "I don't even know you!"

He grabbed my wrists and pulled me closer, his wings unfolding beneath his cloak. "You do. Better than anyone. You know the important... Cara, this is serious. If there is no king in name, the faery realm and the human one would both fall to pieces. They need control. And Sadler would have stepped in if I hadn't."

"So this isn't all about him and Deorad?" I knew he wanted to pay his father back, but would he stop there?

"Deorad's probably dead," he said dismissively.

"Probably?"

"Until I see a body, I won't truly believe that the man who fathered me is dead. Sadler refused to let anyone see him, and that makes me suspicious."

"So what now? Why is Sorcha here? How does this explain... anything?"

He looked at me pityingly. "It doesn't. I went straight to you after the ceremony, once I was sure I was safe. I thought Grim and Realtín would have taken you back to your friend, Zoe. When you weren't there, I waited, but it soon became clear that you had never gone there. I went to your family home."

"Did you?" I bit my lower lip. "Were they... was everyone okay?"

"It's all calm," he said softly. "But you had vanished, and I realised you had never left the fae realm. At first, I thought Sadler had taken you, and I..." He shook his head. "Líle reminded me that the Fade is the first place you would go after being told you couldn't. I wanted to go after you right away, but I had to organise the court first. Dymphna helped me with the daoine sídhe, and they pretty much forced her to come with me. Líle and Anya wouldn't hear of being left behind, and Arlen has been... difficult since things changed. So we grouped up and tried to track you, but we couldn't seem to find a trace. Every now and then, we would find remains of a camp, but we never knew whose."

He looked pained, almost pleading. "You have to understand... you were a human all alone in the faery realm but for a cat, a sprite, and a brownie. You were heading to the Fade with nothing but death in your path. Then Sorcha found us and proposed a deal. I had no choice."

"What deal?"

"It doesn't matter now. The point is that she said she could find you, and she did. How, I don't know."

"And she wants to free Brendan?"

Again, that hesitation. "We're all here to take Brendan's soul from the Fade and put it back where it belongs."

"But the demi-goddesses—"

He held up his hand. "Those women won't interfere with this—I don't think. In fact, I'm pretty sure this is what they wanted to happen. Why, I don't know. I can't see what's in it for them, apart from their own amusement."

"So you want to come with us then. You think you can tag along."

He blinked. "We just saved your lives."

"We were doing okay," I hedged.

He gripped my shoulder and held up the torch to see me clearly. "Cara, we're coming with you." His hand slipped up to cup my cheek. "It's far more dangerous deeper into the Darkside, and the Fade is just... ridiculous."

I brushed away his touch. "Oh, have you been to the Fade?"

"No, but... stop being so cold."

"You mean the way you've been? I almost died. And you didn't even say goodbye to me. You kept the fact that Sadler was your grandfather from everyone, even though you knew exactly who he was. I can't trust you."

"I know," he said quickly. "But I knew the hedge-witch would interfere. I knew you weren't dying."

"No, you didn't," I said softly. "You were supposed to be the good soul, but it was Brendan who held me as I lay dying. He was there when I learned the truth about my family, when I needed somebody."

"He's the one who—"

"Fine," I said. "You can come if Bekind, Grim, and Realtín agree, but if Sorcha tries to kill me again—"

"She won't," he said firmly. "I promise you that you're safe from her. That was part of our deal."

"Let's hope at least one of you can keep a promise then."

I turned and walked back to camp. That wasn't how I had expected our next meeting to go. Not so very long ago, we had spent the night together, but we were strangers again. I needed to hug that body and comfort that soul, but there was a wall between us, and he had built it brick by brick.

For the first time, I wondered what would happen when Brendan returned and how it would affect me. We had grown closer in ways that would never work for Drake and me, so close that I couldn't bear the thought of Brendan suffering in the Fade. But when Drake touched me...

I was a plaything to both fae, and I wanted to stay with them so badly that I would put up with more than I should. I didn't know how to break that cycle of longing and need and find my backbone again.

At the camp, I gathered Grim, Realtín, and Bekind and led them to a rock that gave us a good vantage point to observe the others. The new arrivals were obviously not as close knit. Anya and Líle had much in common, being friends of mine and daughters of Brighid, but there was a serious tension between Drake, Arlen, and Sorcha. Dubh wandered over to us and nibbled on my hair. He didn't particularly seem to like the new horses either.

"What do you think?" I asked.

"I don't trust Sorcha," Realtín said.

"Drake said she made a deal with him. He won't give the details except to say my safety was part of it. Besides, you don't trust anyone, Realtín."

She snorted. "Still. Brendan sent her away. Why would she help him now?"

"Maybe she thinks he'll take back the throne and marry her if she does," I said. "That's what it's about, right? Becoming queen, I mean." I shivered at the thought of the fate of the last fae queens.

"Perhaps," Bekind said. "But there's too much secrecy, too many people with their own agendas. It makes my skin prickle."

"But we'll be safer. They have swords. Arlen, Líle, and Dymphna are pretty much exactly who you need in a battle, and Drake probably knows how to handle a sword, too. And Sorcha's all... _I'm the daughter of death. I'll kill everything you love_."

The others laughed at my mimicry, and I knew I had them.

"A larger group won't go unnoticed," Grim said when we had sobered.

"The tunnellers might not have attacked us if we had been with a larger group in the first place," Bekind conceded.

"I trust Líle and Anya with my life," I said firmly.

"I hate to say it," Realtín said, "but I agree with that. They are disgustingly loyal to Cara. Copycats."

"We could take them and Dubh and run in the night," I said uncertainly. "But Arlen's loyal to Brendan, not Drake." I didn't really want to leave the watchful eye of Arlen, who always seemed to know exactly what he was doing.

"The others would only follow," Bekind said. "Their devotion is tiresome."

I called Líle and Anya over to catch up on the gossip I knew Anya would be dying to share. They sat on either side of me.

"Okay," I said. "We all agree we trust you two. Can we trust the others?"

"You mean, can you trust Sorcha?" Líle asked.

"And Drake?" Anya added.

I shrugged. "What's really going on here?"

"Pah. What isn't going on?" Líle lay on her back.

"The ceremony went as planned," Anya said. "There was Brendan, king again. Except he didn't stay for the celebrations. Of course, Arlen was the first to realise something was very wrong."

"How did he take it?" I asked.

"He was wild with rage," she said, wrapping her arms around herself. "He blamed us all, but when Líle explained what happened, he planned on covering for Drake until someone could figure out what to do next. Drake and Líle went to find you, Cara, but of course, you were gone already. That's when we all started to think it would be a good idea to follow you."

"But Sorcha?" I made a face.

"That makes us all uncomfortable. I don't know how he can bear her presence, especially when this is all her fault. After all, if she didn't try to kill you as she did, the priestesses wouldn't have interfered, and—"

"And Drake would be gone by now instead," I added thoughtfully. "But is she going to help us?"

When Anya hesitated, Líle nudged her and said, "Tell her."

My heart constricted for a second.

"They seem very... close," Anya said slowly. "They speak a lot in secret. There's something going on. We just haven't figured out what."

A chill ran down my spine. Some portent of doom kept pricking me in the side. Something was wrong about the whole situation, but we could actually free Brendan together, so I had to ignore that until we survived the journey. "That's... that has nothing to do with what we're trying to do. This is about restoring the king... and having balance and calm again, right? So maybe we can work together for a while. Afterward, we can go our separate ways. That's... that's all we can hope for."

Líle reached out and squeezed my ankle. "We'll survive this. We'll figure out the rest later. For now, we have to put up with Sorcha."

I looked over at Drake. He was sitting in front of the fire, his face a mask. Sorcha sat next to him. She leaned closer to whisper in his ear then glanced over at me, smirking.

"Forget what I said," Líle said sharply. "If you ask me to kill her, I will."

I laughed. "Don't be ridiculous."

Líle grinned. "The offer still stands."

"Why do you think they interfered? The priestesses, I mean."

"Who knows why a deity does anything?" Bekind asked.

Anya scooted closer. "Maybe the mother really did look upon you in her garden. Maybe she's as lost to the priestesses as she is to the rest of us. Maybe they're trying to catch her attention or favour."

"And this is the way to do it?" I shrugged. "Can't say I understand how it all works, but I'm obviously glad I survived. It's just so frustrating that Brendan is stuck there again. He had changed. He was trying to be a better man. And this is how he's rewarded?"

"Everything happens for a reason," Bekind said. "We'll understand when we're supposed to."

We spent the rest of the evening watching Sorcha do her best to befriend Dymphna. Apparently, even banshees needed friends. For a while, Líle tried to teach me how to swing her sword properly, but she soon grew tired of laughing at my weak attempts.

That night we rested in two groups, while one person constantly kept watch. Drake was first, and he sat at the edge of the camp, a crease marring his forehead. I watched for as long as I could stay awake, desperately trying to figure out what he was thinking. He was Drake, just Drake, no other soul fighting for a place at the forefront, but I had never seen him so lost. I had never known him less.

Still, we were a lot safer. The family was back together. We just needed Brendan.

# Chapter 7

"Up! Quickly!" somebody shouted.

I opened my eyes and felt large drops of water fall on to my face. I started to speak, but a sheet of water poured on top of me. I sat up, spluttering. "What the...?"

"Come on!" Drake cried, pulling me to my feet.

I stumbled, but he caught me.

I shook my head and pulled away. "I'm fine."

Torrential rain pelted down, stinging my arms and face. I threw on my robe and pulled up the hood, but it was already soaked. The rest of the group ran around, gathering our stuff.

"What's happening?" I asked as I grabbed the bundle the Miacha had given me.

"The rain will flood the holes," Drake said. "The sand is sinking. The tunnels must be collapsing. We have to get out of here. It's too dangerous to wait." He ran to his horse.

Blinking against the torrential rain, I saw Dubh. He looked distressed, his nostrils flaring. I pressed through the crowd of panicking fae to reach him.

"It's okay," I whispered, rubbing his nose. "We'll be okay." I looked around for my friends. "Grim!"

"I'm here," he called from behind me. "We have everything. Let's go."

He climbed up first. I hadn't had time to loosen up or chew on a leaf, so I struggled without the stirrups and saddle to help me. Arlen pressed his hands against my backside and shoved me up onto the horse.

"Thanks," I said wryly, but he was already gone. "Bekind, up with us!"

The black cat leaped in front of me, shivering and wet. I held her between our bodies, feeling a little bad for her. Realtín hid under my robe, trembling against my chest. I gripped the reins, and Dubh cantered away. His hooves sank into the sand, which collapsed around us, a soggy landslide slowing us down, but we soon made it past the worst of it. But we had no idea how far the tunnels went on, so we had to keep going.

I glanced over my shoulder to check on the others. Everyone was accounted for, but our camp had completely disappeared. It was as if a huge maw had opened in the sand and sucked everything down into the earth.

The rain beat in our eyes, and a wild wind blew hard, almost toppling Grim and me off the horse. The wet sand seemed to run on forever. I was miserable, even after the rain eased a little.

"Grim," I whispered, realising the way I was feeling wasn't natural, "what is this?"

"The way of the Darkside," he replied. "It's misery itself. Try to block it out, Cara. It'll eat you up."

I agreed, but it was hard to chain down the feelings. The warped magic I had felt since entering the Darkside was growing stronger, as if tugging us closer. It shattered my nerves like an overdose of fae magic to my system. And it would get worse.

We rode on in the rain and wind, barely able to lift our heads against the gale. My stomach growled. The riding made me hungrier than usual.

Grim glanced back at me. "As soon as it's safe, we'll stop so you can eat. Take a leaf now, if you can. The way is rough. We'll all be feeling it tonight, not just you."

"I'll share the leaves," I said.

"Don't. Keep them for yourself."

The sky was so dark that I wondered how Dubh could find his footing. But within an hour, streams of light had begun to creep across the horizon.

"Morning," Realtín practically sang. Since the rain had stopped, she had been flying from one horse to another, urging everyone to hurry. Arlen had resorted to trying unsuccessfully to snatch her out of the sky.

With nowhere to take shelter from the wind, we rode on. After a while, we came upon a stretch of land that hadn't experienced any rain at all. I looked over my shoulder at a storm that didn't seem able to reach me anymore and shivered. Even the weather had a presence, as though it had a soul.

We passed a small camp with a tent. Whoever was within didn't look outside or greet us, and we didn't stop. We hadn't seen any other travellers in a long time. It was as if we were in a forgotten part of the world.

"We can slow the pace," Arlen called out eventually. "When we find a decent place with shelter, we'll set up camp and dry off."

Dubh slackened into a trot. He was far faster than the other horses. He was also taller, broader, and more intelligent. Maybe some faery horses were more valuable than others. But Ivan had given him to us freely, so I wondered why and what the cost would be.

Without the rain and wind stinging my eyes, I could look around. I was startled to realize we were a lot closer to the Hollow Hills. We had covered a hell of a lot of ground. I wondered what was behind the Hollows—or between them—and what was so scary about them. A huge mountain range cut through the river, but the way before us seemed clear enough. What lay beyond worried me the most.

Bekind leapt off the horse and disappeared. Realtín flew high in the sudden sunshine, her light streaming gold wherever she went. Arlen and Anya rode together a little ahead of the rest of us with Líle. Sorcha shared a horse with Dymphna, and along with Drake, they brought up the rear. Our group was together, and yet still disconnected, but at least we weren't alone anymore.

The path widened, going through some woods that wound back away from the Hollows. Bekind had said we weren't taking a direct route. I hoped she knew what she was doing. The distorted feeling in the air had lightened, making it easier for me to breathe. Maybe I had just imagined the magic I felt in the air and the heavy echoes of darkness that had shrouded us in the desert.

"I feel kinda safe now," I told Grim.

"And you didn't feel safe before?" Grim asked, pretending to be offended.

"At least now I know somebody's watching out for you, too." I threw back my hood, soaking up the sun. "That rain was crazy."

"We're not welcome here," he said. "Nobody is. The land itself will do its best to push us back."

My stomach rumbled, and my legs ached. "I think this is a two-leaf morning," I said, looking through the bundle.

Drake trotted up next to us as I popped the leaf into my mouth. He reached out and touched my knee. The sense of relief I used to get from his touch had vanished. I figured it was because I was in the fae realm. Everything around me was a fae touch, even the wind blowing my hair out of my face.

"Are you ill?" he asked, motioning at the bundle.

I shook my head. "Just not used to riding. Harder than it looks to gallop for hours for us mere mortals."

He hesitated. "You've lost weight. Maybe—"

"I'm not going back."

He smiled, taking me back to other times. "I was going to say that maybe you should eat larger portions of food today to get your strength back up."

"I'm fine." I glanced around, struggling to find something else to think about. Nobody else was suffering on their horse; nobody else was as tired and weak. I didn't want to be the weakest link. "Why are you so short on horses?"

He shrugged. "Anya didn't want to ride alone, and when Sorcha came to us, she had none. We were already on our journey, so..." He looked away, his face reddening.

"So?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "So she rode with me."

Realtín snorted and settled on my shoulder.

"But not today," I said sharply.

"I told her she couldn't ride with me anymore," he said in a soft voice.

"Why? Afraid I'll get hysterical?" I felt Grim shaking with mirth.

"No! I just... I didn't want to talk about the things she wants to talk about today."

I decided to torture him a little further. "Such as?"

He gave me a weary look. "Does it matter?"

Taking pity on him, I shrugged.

After a few minutes of riding in silence, he turned to me again. "Where did you get the horse?"

"Bekind... found him."

"He's a good horse."

"He's the best horse."

Dubh snickered softly then galloped away, leaving Drake in our dust. Laughing, I held on, relishing the freedom, despite the aching in my thighs.

"Enough," Grim said, pulling on the reins as if either of us could make Dubh do anything other than exactly what he wanted to do. "You're a show off, Dubh."

Dubh slowed and pranced like a show pony. Bekind appeared on the road then vanished into the trees again. Dubh trotted after her.

"Cara!" Drake called, sounding confused.

I waved back at the others. "We're going this way!" I ignored the irritated looks on their faces. "Good boy, Dubh."

Grim gave a little laugh.

I lightly thumped his shoulder. "They can't just come along and make all of the rules. We were doing fine without them."

Grim nodded. "But Drake seemed upset."

I had noticed that. "Maybe he's worried about what will happen when we reach the Fade. Or when Brendan returns. Or what's happening in his absence. Do you think the daoine sídhe can control things while he's gone?"

"Yes, but who knows what can happen?" He looked around. "Do you hear that?"

I cocked my head. I heard the crashing of water. "What is that?"

Dubh followed the sound until the trees opened up and revealed a wide expanse of water falling from a high cliff.

I gaped at it. "A waterfall!"

We stepped onto a ledge. A curved path wound around in a downward slope, but in the centre was the waterfall and a gloriously clear pool. The rock face was smooth except for some etchings I didn't understand. The place was surrounded by trees and fruit bushes. Birds sang from the branches, something I hadn't experienced since we'd left neutral territory. Beyond the pool, there was more than enough space for us to make camp.

"This is perfect," I whispered. "Bekind? Where are you? How did you find this place?"

I carefully slipped off Dubh's back. I found the cat sitting on a flat rock, soaking up a patch of sun. I knelt next to her and rubbed her ears. I tended to forget she was a real person. Dubh wandered down to a separate pond I hadn't noticed and drank before heading into the trees.

"Wait!" I called.

He returned and stood obediently still while we unloaded him. Bridle-free, he tossed his head, nibbled on my hood, and trotted off.

"I kinda love that horse," I told Grim.

He made a face as he leaned one of our bags against a tree. "You love the contrary horse. Why am I not surprised?"

"Leave her be," Realtín said, darting down to pat his head.

I took a look at Dubh's pond. Little koi-looking fish were darting around in the water. Their vibrant colours looked like flashes beneath the surface.

"This will be our last comfort," Grim said. "It looks totally unspoiled by the darkness. We won't find the likes of this again."

"Which means it totally is spoiled, but let's hope we don't see how until we leave," I said, throwing off my robe.

"What on earth are you doing?" Grim asked, turning his back as I started stripping.

"Going swimming," I said joyfully.

I stank of horse and dampness. I wanted to scrub every grain of sand that had stuck to my body, every inch of dirt and grime that clung to my skin. I wanted to feel clean again. But most of all, I wanted the buoyancy of the water to hold up my aching limbs. In my underwear, I ran and jumped straight into the water with a loud squeal. I floated for a moment before diving under. The water was warm and clean, and I didn't want to get out again.

I heard cries of happiness and raised my head. Líle and Anya were getting undressed. They leapt into the pool, sending waves rushing over me. Laughing, I splashed them back.

We should have gotten out to set up camp, but the others didn't ask for our help, and I didn't feel like bothering. I pushed Líle under the water. She grabbed me and pulled me down with her. I swam back to the top, kicking her away. I gasped as I came up for air, choking with the laughter I had been holding underwater. Anya floated away from us, soaking up the sun, until both Líle and I grabbed her ankles and yanked her under.

Anya came up, spluttering some swear words, and leapt on Líle's back. Líle headed straight for the waterfall, knocking Anya off. Anya recovered, and she and I moved under the falls. The water was warm, a powerful natural shower. My skin stung, but in a good way.

I saw Bekind watching and waved her over, but she ignored me and closed her eyes again. It was getting harder for me to hate her, but I doubted I would ever fully trust her.

Anya showed us how to use a stone to clean our skin, then we washed our hair as best we could. I no longer felt gritty and gross. Anya tried to comb out my tangled hair.

"This is the most relaxed I've ever felt," Líle murmured.

Grim had made a fire, and I heard the sounds of cooking. My stomach rumbled as if on cue.

"I'm too hungry for this," I said.

"We'll dry off on the rocks until the food is ready," Anya said. "I'll finish your hair before Realtín gets her hands on it again. You have to stop using it as a way to distract her."

We lounged on the rocks in our underwear, annoying Bekind with our chatter while she tried to sleep. She gave up and left us there, her tail straight up in the air. We were all so different: Anya with her bronze skin and blue pixie hair, Líle with her warrior body that burned like embers, and me. Once, my veins had shimmered green, but in the fae realm, I looked more human than ever.

Anya did a good job of untying the knots from my hair. "If only I had some of our oils or—"

"Enough," Líle said with a moan. "No more talk of hair. Let us relax."

"I'm glad you're here," I said, lulled into contentment by Anya working on my hair. My eyes were closed. I had almost forgotten all of the things that were worrying me.

"It's nice to be together." That was a strangely un-Líle-like thing to say.

Bekind returned a while later with our clothes. "Food is almost ready," she said a little shyly.

I beamed at her. "Thanks."

She frowned as she walked away. Anya, Líle, and I dressed and joined the others for food.

"You look happy," Realtín remarked.

"I feel much better," I said. "Dubh back yet?"

"He'll be back when it's time to leave," Grim remarked. "Not a minute sooner."

"Are we safe here tonight, do you think?"

"I think we can rest here for a while," Arlen said.

"Do you?" Drake said in a quiet voice.

Arlen eyed him for a few seconds. "I do. We have to keep up the pace on our journey, though. _My_ king is waiting."

The others fell silent as some kind of power struggle went on between the pair. I shrugged. Maybe it wasn't so important anymore.

"I could stay here forever," I said brightly, tucking in to my food. I smiled at Sorcha, who looked a little horrified.

After we finished eating, I grinned at Líle and Anya. "Ready to swim?"

"Again?" Grim said. "Don't you think—"

"Nope!"

The three of us ran off together, squealing and laughing as we struggled to get out of our clothes. I dived under the water first. I could stay under for longer because I wasn't worried about drowning. In fact, I wasn't worrying about anything. I swam for a while then floated. I looked toward the camp. I watched Sorcha cling to Drake and saw him smile back at her. That was nice. I rolled over in the water. It was so warm. I really could live in the water.

"Cara!" Grim called. "Come, it's time to take a leaf. You'll start aching if you don't."

"Nah! I'm good here."

"Aren't you in pain?" Realtín asked.

"Who cares?"

Líle and Anya giggled.

"We need to move on soon," Arlen said. "Rest up now."

"We can stay here," Líle said. "For always because it's so beautiful."

"What are you talking about?" Arlen snapped. "Get a grip. It's dangerous here."

"Oh, blah," I said. "I can forget all about it in here."

Then Bekind started screaming. "Get out! Get out of the water right now!"

I laughed and swam away. I couldn't care less. I vaguely noted the need to breathe, but I didn't care. I rolled over in the water, opened my mouth, and closed my eyes.

Two hands grabbed me roughly and pulled me to the surface. Long golden hair drifted in the water. Air filled my lungs, and my body jerked painfully.

Then, everything went black.

I awoke, warm and cosy and wrapped up tight. I struggled, but I couldn't seem to move my limbs. "What on earth?"

"We can't let you go until we're sure it's worn off," Drake said. He was sitting next to me, and there was a fire, but I couldn't see anything else.

"Until what's worn off? What are you doing?"

"The water," he said. "They were the oblivion waters. I never knew they were real. Bekind realised too late. We dragged Líle and Anya out, kicking and screaming, but you had already reached the bottom. Bekind went under after you, even though she was terrified. She saved your life."

"From what?"

"Oblivion. The water makes you forget your troubles, but you also forget about danger and basic needs. That's when the water takes you."

"Oh." That made a scary kind of sense. "Is Bekind okay?"

He nodded. "She got a fright, but she's physically fine. She wasn't in the water long enough for it to inflict her."

"There's really nothing safe here," I whispered. "There's no safe place, nowhere we can just _be_."

"You should sleep. You need your rest."

I tried to move, but every inch of me ached. "Let me go. I need to take a leaf."

"Where did you get the leaves?"

"The Miacha."

His eyebrows rose. "Really?"

"Drake, I'm in serious pain. I need to take a leaf right now. If I was still inflicted by the bloody oblivion waters, I wouldn't care about the pain, would I?"

"You're right," he said hesitantly.

"Are you keeping watch?"

"Yes."

"Then you'll be here if I try to jump back in."

He nodded and pulled free the ties around the blanket that shrouded me, lifting me a little to pull it out from under me. With his arms around me, he held me still for a second, his face a hairsbreadth from mine. "I don't do well with death. Ever since... what Deorad did to my mother, I panic around death. I can't handle it when it's someone I care about."

I held my breath, afraid to move in case it broke the spell. His violet eyes were open, and I couldn't look away.

"I do care," he said firmly, then he pressed his lips against mine.

The kiss was soft and gentle, but it said more than words ever could. The tenderness brought tears to my eyes. He left me just as abruptly, fetching the bundle and bringing it back to me.

"Take the leaf," he said in a tight voice. "I'll watch over you while you sleep."

I slept well that night, better than ever. But I was more confused than ever, too.

# Chapter 8

The following morning, I was walking on air. The knot of tension in my shoulders had disappeared. I was breathing easy for the first time in a long time.

Líle, acting a little sheepish, approached me before breakfast. We walked away from camp until we were out of hearing distance of the others.

She rubbed the back of her neck. "I'm so sorry about yesterday. I should have known. I should never have—"

"Relax," I said. "It wasn't your fault. None of us knew about the water. Besides, I'm not your job anymore. You're a free fae, remember?"

"But I... I still have to... It's important that I... oh." She shuffled her feet. "I hadn't thought of it like that. But I still... _want_ to keep you safe. I want us all to survive this journey. I just imagined fighting off attackers rather than avoiding oblivion waters."

"So keep teaching me how to fight, how to protect myself. That's the best you can do. And relax. I'm fine, you're fine, we're _all_ fine. Stop worrying so much."

Her eyes narrowed. "Are you still suffering the effects of the oblivion waters?"

I grinned. "Nope. I'm just happy."

She glared at me. "You seem as though you've forgotten all your troubles again."

"I remember the trouble—trust me. But we're alive. We've made it this far. I can't complain about that."

She stared at me for so long that I laughed.

I linked arms with her and lowered my voice. "Drake talked to me last night. That's all. So don't worry about me, okay?"

"That's exactly why I have to worry about you. Human talks and faery talks are very different things. Don't forget that, Cara."

"I won't. I promise."

"And what about Brendan?"

I shrugged. "It was just a talk, Líle."

She didn't look convinced, but at that moment, Grim called for us to come and have some breakfast. As Líle and I returned to camp, a troubling thought occurred to me. Fae like Drake were my very own oblivion waters. When things were good, I forgot the problems.

The cat was nibbling some fish when I sat down to eat. I picked her up, ignoring her yowls, and snuggled her.

"Thanks for saving my life, Bekind."

She squirmed out of my arms and transformed long enough to say, "I told you that you were going to drown some day."

"But I didn't!" I said as she ran off. "Still alive, remember?"

Grim sat next to me. "You shouldn't torment her so much."

"She deserves a little punishment." I pulled apart the piece of hot fish, scalding my fingers. Oddly, I was enjoying the camping aspect of our journey. It was exciting to live a different kind of life for a while.

"We still need Bekind," Grim reminded me. "More than the others even."

I sucked my burnt finger and glanced over at Drake, trying to figure out if he had been honest the night before or if he had just said the things he knew I wanted to hear. Arlen had taken over for him during the night, and the freshly made king was still fast asleep, sprawled across the blanket.

"Don't wake him," Arlen said, sitting on the other side of me. He took some of the fish. "He'll be awake soon enough."

"We're leaving then?" I asked.

"The sooner we reach the Fade, the better." He glanced at me. "Right?"

"Of course. At least we'll have Brendan with us on the way back, right?"

"He won't be as you knew him." Arlen looked at me curiously. "What will that change?"

"I know as much as you do. Probably less, actually. What will you do when all of this is over?"

"Hopefully, stand with Brendan, no matter what he decides to do."

"You're incredibly loyal," I said, looking at him. "But you didn't know him from before."

"Let's just say I was raised into this," he said. "I believe in him. There is nobody else capable enough for me. But after getting to know him... if he decided to walk away from the responsibility, I would follow him still."

I finished the fish and wiped my hands on my trousers. "He won't give up the crown."

"You sound very certain."

"I am. He told me he had something to prove—honouring his parents because he shamed them."

He stopped eating. "He told you that?"

I nodded. Sorcha joined us, and we fell silent. Arlen rarely appeared to take sides, but I had a feeling he didn't approve of the banshee.

"Any more dramatic risks of your life planned today?" she asked merrily.

"Having you around seems like a pretty big risk to take, considering the last time I saw you, you tried to sacrifice me to your creepy death god."

"Dymphna tried to kill you, too," she said. "I wouldn't be the only suspect if you happened to drop dead."

"She had a good reason for what she did."

"And I don't? Just because you don't know—"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure you're just a big psychopath."

"Jealous, too," Realtín piped up, flying over to me.

"That's enough," Drake called. "All of you." His hair was mussed and his eyes murky as he joined us at the fire.

"Yes, my king," Sorcha said mockingly.

"Not my king," I couldn't resist muttering.

"But Brendan is?" he snapped. _Issues_.

I looked him directly in the eye. "I'm human, as everyone keeps reminding me. There are no kings in Ireland, thankfully. Nobody owns me, and I've no one to swear fealty to."

He shook his head and took the fish that Grim offered him. "Everyone prepare themselves. We leave within the hour. The sooner this godforsaken trip is over with, the better."

"So we're all agreed then," I snapped. I stood abruptly and left the fireside to find my bundle. My good mood had been quick to fade.

Anya followed me to brush out my hair. "He's already stressed," she whispered. "You would do better to placate him."

"Why? He's just going to send me away."

"What is it you want then? You wanted to leave us, remember? You said you would take me with you, and then you left without me!"

"That wasn't... I couldn't ask you to come with me." I gestured around us. "Not to this. You asked me to take you away from everything. You meant to the human realm, not straight into danger."

"I meant _with you_ ," she said, her voice shaking. "You said we were friends. You said—"

I turned around and gripped her shoulders. "We _are_ friends, Anya. But you don't need me to be the person you want to be. If you want to be different from the other pixies, then congratulations, you've done it already. And when this is over, if you want to come with me? I'll be happy, but I'll be equally happy if you change your mind. Friends want whatever makes their friends happy, right?" I thought of Zoe and Darren. "Even if we don't agree with it. I'm still learning that."

She turned me around and pulled on my hair. "Just don't leave without me next time."

Everyone was subdued as we prepared to leave. We separated into three groups again: Me, Grim, and Realtín; then Líle, Arlen, and Anya; and finally Drake, Sorcha, and Dymphna. I had a feeling the daoine sídhe was avoiding me as much as possible. I wasn't sure why, but I put it down to her being uncomfortable travelling with the person she had been shamed into trying to kill. And although Líle and Anya were happy to see me, both of them felt left behind. After all, I had taken Grim, Realtín, and even Bekind along with me, but I had left them.

"I have a weird feeling," I whispered to Grim as Dubh put some space between us and the others.

Realtín was undoing all of Anya's good work on my hair.

"You're not the only one," Grim said. "You need to be ready to leave if anything should happen. We can't trust anyone's motives. Arlen is loyal to Brendan, but everyone else is ambiguous. You must begin to understand politics, Cara. Even in this small group, it will be the smart players who make it until the end."

"I was kind of hoping _everyone_ would make it to the end."

"What better place to get rid of your enemies than the Darkside? And I don't want to speak ill of Drake, but you have to prepare for the fact he might have come along to stop Brendan from returning."

My blood ran cold. The thought had occurred to me, but hearing somebody else acknowledging the possibility made it all the more real. "When the hell did my life become of a Game of Thrones episode? Seriously, I feel more in danger surrounded by allies than I ever did alone. What do you think, Realtín?"

She yanked my hair a little tighter. "It's the fae way."

I looked back at Drake and caught him watching us, his eyes suspicious. I held his gaze for a moment and remembered that he would do whatever it took to fulfil his goals. I had to be just as determined to get Brendan back to his rightful place.

I turned back around, keeping my voice low. "What do you think will happen in the Fade? Will I even make it there?"

"Arlen won't stop." Grim glanced at our other companions. "I think Líle and Anya will follow you. But you must be willing to flee if it all goes wrong."

"But where would we go?"

"I'm just making sure you understand," Grim said. "You'll do whatever you have to do to escape. Always remember that, Cara."

"You'll scare her," Realtín chided.

"Can I trust you two?" I asked. "No matter what?"

"You know you can," Realtín said crossly.

Dubh whinnied impatiently.

"You, too." I laughed as I petted the horse. "What do you two think of Bekind?"

"She has some connection to you," Grim said. "She feels compelled to keep you alive. If you had seen her face when you went under the water..."

"I'll say that for her," Realtín said. "She was desolate when she pulled you out of the falls. She thought you were dead. That's why I've been nicer to her."

"I saw you spit in her fish this morning!"

She gave a mischievous giggle. "That's me being nicer."

I rolled my eyes. That sprite would be the end of me. We rode along a winding road. It looked similar to the paths we had taken before, but there was a feeling in the air, a marked darkness that I couldn't ignore. That made me wonder about the possibility of darkness in me.

"Can you tell me about the leanan sídhe?" I asked.

"Bekind would be best for that," Grim said. "Your ancestor was before my time."

"She won't even talk to me."

"Maybe you don't want to know," Realtín whispered.

She was probably right. Knowing I had descended from true evil would be the nail on the already rotten coffin that buried my secret family tree.

Arlen approached and spoke under his breath. "Do not react, but we're being watched. Slightly up the pace whenever you can. Do not gallop, or you'll give us away. It's probably curiosity rather than an aggressor, but I'd like to avoid confrontation. We'll pull back and let you take the lead. They'll likely pick off the back of the group first. Stay safe. If something happens and you have the chance to escape, do so."

He fell back before I could answer. I tried not to turn my head or look around, but my cheeks burned. Dubh raised the pace naturally, as if he knew exactly what was going on. He probably did. Bekind had been taking periodic rests on Dubh's back, and she hopped on and stayed.

The other horses trailed behind us. Dubh was overly alert and aware of the world around us. I figured he would know first if there was danger coming, but I tried to keep an eye out anyway. I saw and heard nothing, and neither did Realtín or Grim. Whoever had been out there was probably long gone, avoiding us in case _we_ attacked.

The warmth in the air cooled significantly the closer we got to the Hollows. I heard rushing water and asked Grim about it.

"I believe it's known as the River Garbh," he said. "It cuts through the realm, dangerously wild. But the river then runs under the Hollows and back to the surface again. Between the hills is the only safe road through. That's why we have to risk taking this route. Only those who know the Darkside well know of safer routes."

My nerves tightened. The road had narrowed dangerously. The terrain arched steeply then fell again, over and over again. At the highest point, a valley widened on either side of us. In the distance, I spotted groups of huts. When I looked over my shoulder, I could plainly see the path we had just travelled.

The river was a snake that swerved through the countryside until it faded out of sight. The Hollow Hills were larger than I expected, but far beyond them, something else caught my eye—a huge ruined castle.

"What is that?" I asked, pointing.

Grim shook his head. "I never knew there was a castle in the Darkside."

Dubh slowed until Arlen and Anya reached us. Their horse was almost as large as Dubh, but as Anya didn't fit in the saddle with Arlen, she rode on his lap, his arm wrapped tight around her waist.

"Any idea who owns that castle?" I asked, trying not to stare at how close my friend was to Brendan's bodyguard.

Arlen shook his head. "It's a ruin from ancient days. No need to worry."

I peered at the building, seeing a kind of scaffolding attached to the lower half of the tower. "It looks like it's being rebuilt."

Arlen studied it. "Perhaps some Darksiders are using it as a hiding place. It was built in a good spot. If it wasn't for this cliff, we wouldn't have noticed it at all."

"It looks pretty big for a hiding place," I noted.

Arlen looked at me. "And who would dare hide in a castle?" His lips pressed together. "We should move on as quickly as possible. Don't discuss this with anyone else."

Dubh kept going, following Bekind's path on the treacherous route. He couldn't move any faster than a walk, but I felt as if I could fall at any time. On the upside, I had been chewing on leaves less frequently.

"I think I'm getting used to riding," I said. "I'm toughening up."

Realtín giggled. "Don't toughen up too much, or our king might not recognise you when you free him."

"I can't believe we're actually doing it," I said. "It seems surreal to think we're going to some form of purgatory and taking back a soul."

"It's not quite the same thing," Grim said. "We're just pulling a lost king back through the Wall of Souls. He's not dead. Just... lost."

That made my stomach turn, so I decided to stop talking about it.

We finally made it away from the cliff top and onto steadier ground. We cantered for less than an hour before Drake called us to a halt. "We should set up camp for the evening."

"You're right," Arlen said. "Whoever was following disappeared before we reached the cliff. We'll pass through the Hollows tomorrow. We might as well do it in the light of day. Tempting fate to pass during darkness. If we make it past the Hollows, we'll reach the marshlands. And if we make it that far, it'll be a miracle."

"Then let's all go home now," Sorcha said snidely. "Why tempt fate any more than we already have?"

She was watching me as she spoke, and I wondered at the meaning behind her words. She had actually been less antagonistic toward me than usual, even though Brendan wasn't there as a buffer between us. In fact, she seemed more interested in Drake than anyone. Maybe she had bet on a different king.

We set up camp. We didn't have as much shelter away from the forest, so we had no choice but to stay close together. All ten of us sat around the fire that evening, eating a small meal and drinking hot tea.

The air was drastically cooler at night, and we huddled to get warm, despite the lack of trust. Sorcha pressed against Drake. On her other side was Dymphna, who was in conversation with Líle. To Líle's left was Arlen, who was speaking in a low voice to Anya. I sat next to Anya, a black cat cuddling on my lap and stealing my food. Realtín was to my left, and Grim took the last seat in the circle next to Drake. The horses were tied up, apart from Dubh, who wandered as he pleased. I wondered where Brendan would sit when we rescued him.

"Do you not need a leaf for the pain?" Drake asked politely.

Maybe I just imagined it, but everyone seemed to stop talking.

"The Miacha gave me enough for a week and said I wouldn't need it all. They were right. At least there's plenty left if anyone else needs it."

"You're the only weak human here," Sorcha said. "The rest of us will be fine."

Realtín flicked a berry at Sorcha.

Drake reached out and caught it. He popped it into his mouth. "Thank you, Realtín."

The sprite huffed and shimmered red and gold. She liked Drake, but he was treading a fine line by interfering with her mischief.

"Thank you, Cara," Arlen said, surprising me. "That will be helpful before the end of our journey, I wager."

"No problem." I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at Sorcha. "I just wish I had taken more of what the Miacha offered."

"I've never met anyone who has come across the Miacha before," Dymphna said. "Fate must favour you."

"Oh, yes," Sorcha said. "Beloved by kings, watched over by an absent goddess, saved by demi-goddesses, and cared for by... _little_ _people_. Our Cara is special indeed."

I stared at her. "I don't have anything you want, Sorcha."

"Oh, I know," she said. "But the world won't end if someone in your presence doesn't love you. You're so needy, child."

"It's because I actually have a heart," I said, getting to my feet. "Now I'm going to bed before my heart makes me feel guilty about wanting to kick a banshee in the face."

Grim and Realtín came over and helped me lay out a pallet. Dubh plonked down on the blanket, forcing us to snuggle up to him. Bekind joined us, and our ritual was complete.

I glanced over at the fire. Only Drake and Sorcha remained. The others were carrying their blankets over to us. We had to sleep side by side for warmth, but I liked to imagine it as an admission of the fact that we were a family—perhaps a dysfunctional one, but a family nonetheless.

I stayed awake, listening to the faint snoring of my companions. Drake and Sorcha whispered to each other for a long time, but I couldn't hear what they were saying. When she finally joined us and settled to sleep, he stared into the fire, shoulders hunched, and that stupid heart of mine felt sorry for him... again.

# Chapter 9

Everyone's eyes were cast in a similar direction over breakfast the next morning—toward the Hollows. We didn't know what lay out there, but it was definitely dangerous.

"We'll be fine," Arlen said.

I wanted to believe him. "We don't all have to go," I said. "If anyone wants to back out now..."

Nobody said a word, but as we prepared to leave, I could tell they all felt as nervous as I did. Dubh stamped his feet as we attached our bundles to the horses' saddles. Realtín flew around our heads, getting in everyone's way. Even Grim snapped at Dymphna when she bumped into him.

"Let's go," Drake said. "We need to do this in the full light of the sun."

"That's it?" I asked. "Without any kind of a plan?"

"We can't plan for what we don't know," he said dismissively.

I folded my arms across my chest. "We can plan for what we'll do if somebody attacks us."

"If somebody attacks, the rest of you run, while Líle and I try to hold them off," Arlen said. "That's why Anya's riding with Drake today."

"Like fuck am I _running_ ," I said. "I'm not running away while Líle and you get killed!"

"Oh, and are you going to protect them?" Sorcha asked with a sneer. "Jump in and save the day? And with what, may I ask? Your keen wit? Not sure that will work."

My fingers clenched into fists. "Just shut up, banshee. Jesus! Do you have to be a full-time bitch?" I took a deep breath. "This doesn't even count as a plan, it's so dumb."

"It's the best we have under the circumstances," Drake said. "If you want to find Brendan..."

I swallowed hard. I would never be in control of my own destiny with the fae around. They thought of me as a lesser being, a child, someone incapable of making a decision.

"If everyone is ready, we should leave," Arlen said. "I'll ride up front, and Líle will stay at the back of the group. Cara, if you're in danger, leave. Dubh can outrun anything."

"I will ride with Dymphna today," Bekind said, surprising everyone. She was travelling as a woman, for once, though she kept her face hidden with a hooded robe.

"Fine," Arlen said. "Let us move on."

We mounted the horses and set out with trepidation. The Hollows were different up close. I couldn't see the river any longer, but I felt its weird ricocheting trembles even while sitting on Dubh's back. A narrow path stretched between the hills, which towered high above, too steep to climb. Their sloping surfaces were pockmarked, as though chunks had been taken out of the hills and tunnels that had been dug through the centre. I grew paranoid, feeling as though someone or something was watching us.

"Is there really no other way?" I whispered to Grim.

He shook his head. "Not that we know of. Even the queens didn't dare to travel this close to the Hollows. If we searched for another way across, we would end up wasting time in confrontation with Darksiders. We spent long enough avoiding the forest tribes in neutral territory. This is the only path open to us."

I kept an eye on the Hollows as Dubh trotted behind Arlen's horse. The sounds of our horses' hooves felt like a warning drum. The wind had stilled as if some great being held its breath while we passed. A tingle ran down my spine in anticipation.

The Hollows drew up around us, dwarfing us with their size. We trotted in a line, all of us glancing from one side to the other. I swallowed my fear, wishing we could run but at the same time worrying if that would trigger some predator's prey drive.

We were halfway through. Up close, the notches were clearly hiding places carved out for _things_ to stare through. At night, it would be so much more terrifying. Even in the bright daylight, I felt chilled. Dubh protested, pulling back in his reluctance to keep going.

"On, Dubh," Arlen urged, turning back to grab Dubh's halter.

Dubh snorted and tried to bite Arlen.

"Enough," Grim said. "It's too late to turn back, Dubh."

The horse shuddered beneath us then began walking again. In the silence that followed, I waited for something to happen. The waiting was the worst.

When we were almost through, I looked back to grin at Líle, who was bringing up the rear. Something caught my eye—a dark creeping figure, heading straight for her.

"Watch out!" I screamed.

"Flee!" Arlen shouted.

Everyone else obeyed. The rest of the horses flew past us in their hurry to get away, leaving Líle behind.

"Grim, I can't!" I cried.

"I know."

I yanked at Dubh's reins to turn him around. For once in his bloody faery horse life, he actually obeyed me, and we bypassed Dymphna's horse to get to Líle. Realtín screamed behind me. Líle's sword was already swinging. She beheaded the sneaking creature.

I heaved a sigh of relief, but then a dozen of the same creatures poured out of one of the notches in the hills. The dirty, scrawny things charged at us. Their mottled green and black bodies were hunched, making them all appear a little lopsided. I saw no weapons. They clawed and bit at Líle like animals.

"Run if you have to, Grim!" I shouted.

But he stayed with me, holding on tightly as Dubh raced back down the trail. Realtín followed, still screaming, her red light streaming everywhere.

We made it to Líle. Her fiery hair was dishevelled, and sweat beaded at her temples. A few bodies lay at her horse's feet, but she was vastly outnumbered. Grim leapt from Dubh's back to Líle's horse, two daggers in his hands. He balanced behind Líle, standing to lash out at the creatures on her back, who were desperately scratching at her face and neck.

Dubh circled them. I wrapped the reins around one arm and used the other to stab whenever I saw one of the creatures try to climb onto Líle's saddle.

Hooves sounded behind us. The others had returned. More and more creatures of all sizes flooded from the hills—lesser fae, many of whom looked sick or deformed. They didn't hesitate, didn't seem to care that they were running straight into our blades.

Perspiration rolled down my back. The fight lasted minutes but felt like a lifetime. Blackened blood practically glued my fingers together. My shoulders ached from desperately holding tight to the reins and lashing out at the little creatures who tried to run up my legs, biting and pinching.

Drake grabbed the back of my neck and bent me over. Then he stabbed his short sword into the gut of a creature that had been flying right at my head. I didn't have the energy to thank him when he let me go. The creatures surrounded us as if called by a beacon, fighting like crazy for no reason I could see.

Dubh kicked and stamped, injuring enough of the creatures that the others gave us a wider berth. One clung stubbornly to his tail. I leaned back and swung at it with my knife. It dodged out of the way then bit my hand. I punched out, knocking it off me. It bared its teeth, mouth stained with my blood, then leaped at me. But my dagger was aimed right at its heart. As I flung the body away, I noticed strange black patches spreading across its bare back.

Drake backed into Dubh as he beheaded another of the creatures. Blood sprayed across my face. I recoiled, and one of the creatures grabbed my hair, yanking on it and almost pulling me off Dubh. Arlen cut the creature away, slicing off some of my hair in the process. The wave of creatures began to slow, some running back into their hiding places within the Hollows.

A deep voice shouted, "Enough!"

I looked up to find that we were surrounded. The creatures we had fought were the smallest, likely a test to see what we were capable of. Many larger figures stepped out from various nooks and crannies, making their way toward us. That must have been why Dubh was so eager to avoid the Hollows. He knew people were hidden all around, inside the hills and maybe even underground. Well, not people. Darksiders. The new arrivals looked more like warrior fae. None had wings.

A tall, broad man jumped down in front of us, closely followed by a number of large fae who looked suspiciously like some of the old queens' bodyguards. The leader wore a smirk, his shock of white hair in stark contrast to his black armour.

He spread out his arms. "Welcome to the Hollow Hills! And as much as I like a quick battle in the morning, there's still a toll to pay."

"What toll?" Arlen asked scornfully.

"The king's toll." The man gazed around our group. He licked his lips as his eyes fell on Dubh.

"No king has a toll here," Drake said.

"Is that right?" the man asked. "But every man is king of his own castle. Isn't that so?"

So they were the people who lived in the castle ruins? I shivered. There were so many of them and such feral-looking fae. I had never seen anything like them—except perhaps once, when I was six years old and a monster in the wardrobe ate a monster under my bed.

"Who are you?" Arlen demanded.

"They call me Reynard. Perhaps you've heard of me?" The man smiled when Arlen flinched.

"The Fox?" Arlen said. "Didn't a hedge-witch kill you?"

"Not in this lifetime." Reynard grinned. "And I'm tired of talking. Your choices are these: death or pay the toll."

"What's the toll?" Drake asked wearily.

"That depends on what you've got," Reynard said. "Some give a horse, some their hearts, but you have a lot to pick from, so choose wisely."

"Make a request," Drake said. "So we know we're on the same page."

"A request? How sensible." Reynard passed through the horses.

Some of the creatures lingering on the hills muttered amongst themselves. Reynard looked from one face to the next. As he got close to me, I caught Drake's eye. I didn't understand why he didn't use the power he was supposed to have.

"Now _this_ is interesting." Reynard patted Dubh. "A decent horse, all things considered." He pinched Grim's nose. "And a _brownie_. I haven't seen one of those in a while. Mayhap I need someone to clean my feet after a hard day's work."

His buddies all laughed uproariously. Reynard's feet were bare and filthy. He wasn't taking Grim, I decided there and then.

He reached up and held my chin between his forefinger and thumb. The smell of him made me want to wretch.

He smiled, revealing tiny sharp teeth. "And then we come to the human." With his other hand, he walked his fingers up my thigh and grabbed at my crotch. Fear made me stupid. I kicked out at him without thinking.

He laughed. "And _what_ a human. Did you feel that, boys?"

I had made the mistake of betraying my emotions again. Brendan had once warned me that some fae would come along and steal me away just because my emotions could make them feel good. Maybe that day had come.

"I think we'll have this one," Reynard said, his eyes half-closed. "Yes, this one."

"No," Drake said. " _Not_ that one."

Reynard squeezed my thigh. "What about the pixie then? All of ours are long dead."

"You won't take any of these women," Arlen said in a gruff voice.

"You then." Reynard laughed. "We could have some fun with you, I bet." He shook his head. "Nah, the human will be enough payment for the rest of you."

_"I'll_ go."

I turned to see Bekind strolling over to us. Her hood was down, allowing her golden hair to shine in the sunlight.

Reynard's eyes widened. He let go of me and met Bekind halfway, grabbing a fistful of her hair and sniffing it. "Yes. This one will work better."

"No!" I cried. "Don't go with him."

Bekind held Reynard's gaze. "He'll kill you if I don't. I'll be all right. I always land on my feet."

That silenced me. Bekind could make it out of any situation—as a cat. And Reynard thought he was just taking a woman. She had more of a chance than the rest of us. But it was still a risk, even for Bekind.

"Be well," Drake told Bekind. Then he turned to the rest of us. "Let's go."

Reynard seemed fascinated by Bekind's hair. That stirred a memory of things best left forgotten.

We moved on, unmolested by Reynard's gang. I looked back once. The fae had gathered around Bekind.

"Don't look back," Grim advised.

As soon as we were out of earshot, Sorcha turned on me. "What were you thinking? Why didn't you run? That was your only instruction!"

"Then why didn't the rest of you keep running?" I demanded. "Nobody made you stick around. I couldn't leave Líle behind and live with myself afterward. That was on me, not you."

She made a sound of frustration. "Nobody made me? You're an idiot, girl. You're lucky Bekind was around. Now let's leave this place far behind. We're a lot of distance to cover."

"And our guide is with Reynard," Arlen added.

"Go then," I snapped. "I'm waiting for Bekind."

"They're not going to let her go," Sorcha said angrily.

"She's a cat, stupid. She can sneak away. She's good at disappearing."

Sorcha hesitated. "They'll notice. They'll come after her."

"So go!" I shouted. "All of you. Get out of here. I'm waiting for Bekind, and I'm on the fastest horse. So leave me alone!" I turned my back on them. "You too, Grim. I want you safely away before..." I shook my head.

"Grim, come," Drake said.

Grim slipped off Dubh without a word. I heard a heated discussion start up behind me, but I ignored it. Reynard and his men headed toward the castle I couldn't even see anymore. They would camp along the way, and Bekind would have a chance to escape. I hoped.

Drake's horse stepped up next to me. I glanced back to see everyone else trotting away. Grim and Realtín were with Líle. The sprite burned red.

"We could follow," he said.

"They might notice us."

We sat in silence, watching the troop of faeries get away with Bekind.

"It's not your fault," Drake said after a moment.

"Of course it is. I should have gone with them instead."

"I wouldn't have been able to let that happen."

I looked at him, but he didn't say anything else. When he was so close to me, everything was different. But it always ended, leaving me more confused than before.

"You've never seen anything like them before," he said. "It was natural for you to panic."

"I think I saw one when I was six. It was dark, though." I shrugged.

"What happened?"

"I'm not sure. I think it came for me, but it got eaten by a bigger fae. Bekind chased that one away. My father came for me one night, too. Bekind stopped him. And when Dymphna came, Bekind was the one who sent for Brendan."

"So she's been there," he said. "In your life, watching out for you."

"Not just me." My lower lip wobbled. "But she didn't stop my mother from being raped. She didn't stop my brother from taking his own life. So I don't know what I owe her, but I have to wait here for her."

"I understand. The things Bekind has done are complicated. She doesn't mean your family harm. It's just the way it is."

"Was I wrong before?" I asked. "Should I have left my friend there to die?"

"You did what you had to do. The others were reluctant to leave her, or they would never have turned around."

He reached out and held my hand. We stayed like that for a long time.

"Are you planning on killing him?" I asked.

He looked at me.

"Brendan," I clarified. "Is that why you came? To stop him from returning?"

"I should," he said. "I should make sure I'm the only one."

I waited.

He stared out at the growing darkness and shivered. "I'm not fae enough for that, Cara." His grip on my hand tightened. "You care for him."

"I don't think I know either of you well enough to know that for certain," I said, my voice trembling.

"It can never be. Not with me. Not with him. You don't belong here. This world is too dark for you. Today was proof of that. I don't know if Brendan and I can ever make it light enough for you to live in. You're already changing. I saw you. You could have been Líle. You didn't hesitate to hurt those creatures."

"They were trying to kill my friends."

"Remember the pooka," he said in a strangled voice. "An accident, even though the creature was going to murder you and Grim. And when Dymphna attacked you, you didn't try to hurt her, only slow her down. This world is winding its way around your heart, changing you. I want you to go on as the girl I fell for, because she was the only person I've known in a very long time with a heart at all."

I tried to pull my hand out of his, but he held on and pulled me closer. I leaned toward him. He mimicked the movement and pressed his forehead against mine.

Then I understood. "You don't think you're going to make it through this with your soul intact," I whispered. "You think it's changing you too much, making you more fae."

"I need you to be human enough for the both of us." He closed his eyes and touched his nose to mine. "That's what helps me through the darkness, knowing that light exists somewhere."

He pressed his lips against mine hesitantly, testing the waters. I held on, wishing everything could be perfect, but there was only a chaotic mess around us, and we were struggling to hold on to each other. Even though his body was back, he still didn't want to try to be with me. He just wanted to know I lived—away from the fae, away from the death and danger and magic.

I pulled away and stared into those violet eyes, trying to figure out how I could have a happy ending. I knew by the look in his eyes that he didn't believe it was possible in the fae realm. He would push me away again, and I wouldn't know how to keep him. And that was always the end of my story. The fae never wanted to keep _me_.

I opened my mouth to speak, but Dubh whinnied. I peered into the darkness and saw a streak of black under the lilac moonlight. Bekind was sprinting toward us.

"Go," I whispered to Drake. "We'll catch up."

He nodded and rode away. Dubh stamped his feet. He wanted to go to her, but I knew we needed to stay hidden in case she was being chased. I waited, holding my breath. When she reached us, she leapt up, and I held her close as Dubh galloped away.

We were safe. We were ten again.

# Chapter 10

"You're an idiot," I whispered to Bekind as we rode hard to catch up with the others. "They could have killed you before you managed to escape. They're probably chasing us right now."

My exasperation came from worry. We needed Bekind, but I also liked the cat. She gnawed on my knuckle somewhat affectionately.

Dubh raced on. The darkness spilled around my shoulders like a cape. The realm was nothing like I had imagined. Nothing made sense, not the weather, not the places, not the people. But the tension in my shoulders had eased. I knew where I stood with Drake. It didn't make much sense, but I was coming to accept that matters of the heart in the fae realm never would. We caught up with the others.

"They might follow," I called out as we passed Arlen and Drake. "They might be on their way right now."

"They might wait until we return," Drake said wryly.

"We'll lose them in the marshlands," Arlen said.

"We'll lose ourselves in the marshlands," Sorcha snapped. "I hope cat lady has a map."

Bekind hissed at the banshee.

We rode all night toward the marshlands. The land changed again, becoming harder to cross. Our pace slowed on the uneven ground. The chill in the air was different, the darkness fuller. My lips stayed moist no matter how windy it became. I leaned forward, my hood gathered around my face, and tried to concentrate on remaining calm. But that strange sense of magic pulling us toward it perturbed me. The awareness had grown so strong that I couldn't ignore it anymore. Nobody else remarked on the change, and I began to fear that it was a sign of madness from being around the fae for too long.

We made camp before we got to the marshes. The morning was misty and muggy, but we were all so tired that we managed to sleep. I awoke before everyone because my skin was tingling uncomfortably. I lay there, watching the cool grey sky as a whirlwind of clouds passed overhead.

By the time the others got up, I had grown used to the feeling that we were moving closer to some huge source of magic. I was a bit dizzy again, so I made sure I ate more than usual before we set off.

"Hungry?" Sorcha sounded amused.

I didn't like the glint in her eye, but I wasn't interested in rising to the bait. "Looks like it."

"Humans use up a lot of energy when they exercise. Riding is considered a form of exercise, isn't it, Cara?" Grim said.

I nodded, embarrassed by all of the eyes on me.

"She looks ill," Dymphna remarked.

My cheeks flushed. I didn't need a mirror to know I looked like shit, but it would have been nice if the rest of the world could stop remarking on it.

"Don't the summer wives lose weight before the end?" Sorcha asked with an innocent air.

"She's not a summer wife!" Realtín snarled, hovering around my shoulder. "She's fine!"

"What happens to the summer wives?" I asked, knowing full well I was going to regret the question.

"A long time ago," Drake said, "some fae were gifted human women by the Irish people. They took them for wives in exchange for helping with a good harvest. But the women never lasted longer than the summer. They wasted away, lost their minds, and were either forgotten about, put out of their misery, or sent back to their families. The name stuck to anyone taken by a faery. They're taken until they're used up, and they never last long."

"But why?" I asked. "What happened to them that they couldn't last longer than the summer?"

"They can't survive the magic," Líle said in a grim voice. She had worried about me since the time she'd brought me to the Mother's Gardens and I fell unconscious for days afterward. "They get sick and go crazy. We're too much to live with."

"But Cara's different," Anya said anxiously. "She's survived this long."

"Not a whole summer," Scorcha said. "She made it to Imbolc, but will she make it to Bealtaine? And she hasn't been _used_ like a wife. At least, not so much."

I felt a little ill. I looked at Drake. He was staring at Sorcha as if he wanted to break her neck. She stared back, her cheeks flushed, then looked away.

"She won't be with the fae that long," Drake said. "She'll survive."

"We could miss Beltaine in the Fade," Sorcha said under her breath, unable to resist getting in the last word.

The longer I spent with the fae, the bigger the risk to my life and my mind. I wished that would make me fear them, but nothing ever did. I hadn't regretted a second of my time with them, and I probably never would. I was just another version of Ronnie, unable to have a normal life after an experience with the fae.

"Where's Ronnie?" I asked. I couldn't believe I had forgotten to ask about her already.

"She's safe," Drake said. "I ordered her to be cared for and kept out of Sadler's hands. She's already suffered punishment enough. I don't have the heart to call what she did a crime."

"Not when she did you a favour," Sorcha said. "But there's still Sadler to deal with."

"Not here and not now," Drake said. "He'll get what he deserves some day, I have no doubt." He frowned. "Now can we please speak of other things?"

Sorcha directed her keen gaze at Bekind. "What did Reynard plan on doing with you?"

Bekind sat cross-legged next to me. I didn't think she was going to answer, but she lifted her head and spoke. "They wanted to give me to someone as a gift. They were taking me to the castle. Someone should go there after this. Some king. Trouble will come from that place."

"How did you get away?" Líle asked.

Bekind shrugged. "They didn't watch me all the time. They kept me in a tent away from the others. Out of sight, out of mind. As soon as Reynard left, I did. They'll have found out by now."

"They won't follow us into the marshlands," Dymphna said. "Few are foolish enough to cross."

"And we're the foolish ones." Sorcha sighed. "Do you know the way, cat?"

"I don't. I've never been through the marshlands. But I know the way to the Fade."

"Somehow, I don't believe you," Sorcha replied.

"How hard can it be?" Anya said brightly. She moved to plait my hair and cried out with shock. "What happened? There's a chunk missing!"

I reached up and felt around. "Arlen caught some of my hair with his sword yesterday. That's all."

"That's all?" She looked horrified. "Your beautiful hair!"

"It's just hair," I said softly, turning to see how her face had fallen. "It'll grow back."

"It's not just hair." Her chin wobbled. "It's everything." She started to cry. "I hate this place. If Bekind hadn't been there..."

I hugged her. "It's over," I whispered. "We're safe right now. Anya." I pulled back. "Do you want to go home?"

"I want... I want to stay with you." She glanced at Arlen. "I don't want to go back. There's nothing for me there."

"Why did you even come with Drake?" Sorcha asked nastily. "You're a weak little pixie. I thought you were made of sterner stuff than this."

"I came for Cara, and..." She bit her lip. "You would never understand."

"You're right," Sorcha said. "I don't understand any of this. What does the girl have that makes people risk their lives for her? All of you just abandoned the plan yesterday and rushed to her rescue."

"I didn't need to be rescued," I said.

She ignored me. "Why would you sacrifice the mission for a human? Somebody explain it to me, please. Brendan's soul is stuck in the Fade. The longer he's there, the greater the chance he becomes one of the shades. We might not have a man to bring home. You all understand that, don't you?"

"He didn't become a shade last time," I said, but her words unnerved me.

"He was lucky," she said. "He's always been lucky. But when his luck goes, the fall is tremendous. And all because of you. Are you happy now?"

"If I was happy about it, I wouldn't be here." I didn't understand the banshee at all. Being thrust into her company twenty-four, seven hadn't helped with that.

"We all came here together," Dymphna said. "Líle could almost be one of my own. It seems right to stop for a fallen soldier."

"But it's stupid. It makes no sense. It's not logical. It's not—"

"It's called humanity." Drake leaned back and stared at the sky. "Cara shows it, and the rest of us are compelled to follow her lead because we like the way it makes us feel."

I frowned. Brendan had also used the word "compelled." He made it sound as though I had forced my friends to be with me.

Sorcha let out a pained laugh. "Even Brendan didn't understand."

"But he did it anyway," Arlen said.

"It wasn't me," I said. "You all think he changed because of me, but that's not true. He had already changed. Sorcha, you would see that if you tried to look past your hatred of me. Being in the Fade changed him, altered his outlook on life."

"Maybe he didn't come back with a full soul," she said. "Maybe something went wrong."

"He saw both worlds the way Brighid sees them," I said hesitantly. "I'm not trying to offend you, Líle and Anya, but I really believe he did. She thought that one shouldn't exist without the other, right? She thought the way the fae were living was wrong, so she turned her back. Well, Brendan started to feel the same way. He'll never admit he agrees with Brighid, but when you hear him talk..." I shrugged. "It's the way it comes across to me anyway."

"Perhaps she's right," Líle said. "The way of the Mother has always been the idea of fruitfulness and gentleness, and two worlds working together. The humans nurture us, so we should nurture them."

"But the strongest emotion comes from pain," Sorcha said. "Why would she want us to be weak?"

"I don't feed on pain," Líle said, "and I'm certainly not weak."

Sorcha stared at her feet. "I'm terrified of weakness. After all of my sisters' years in the darkness because we were weak... I never want to go back to that again. I need power, and I don't believe loving humans will do that."

"Aren't you tired of hating everyone all of the time?" I couldn't help asking. Realtín sniggered in my ear. "No, I'm serious. It takes way more effort to hate. You must be bloody exhausted."

The others laughed. Even Sorcha's mouth curved upward slightly. Then the expression was gone, but it didn't matter. I had made the banshee less hateful for a split second. It gave me hope that we could deal with each other like adults someday.

"What kind of king will _you_ be?" Dymphna asked Drake.

He looked startled, but he gave a thoughtful answer. "Hopefully, a fair one."

"It takes more than that to become a king. And if the other king returns and makes a bid for your throne?"

"He can have a throne." Drake threw the last of his meal into the fire. "It just won't be mine."

"You would start a war?" she persisted.

He shook his head. "Not with Brendan. I have no fight with him. If anything, we're better equipped to deal with each other than anyone else. He's been in my head, remember. I know him, and he knows me. I understand the way he sees things. I think we could persuade each other to work, if not together, then alongside each other without wanting to end each other's reigns."

"What about Sadler?" I asked. "Brendan wants peace with your grandfather."

He glared at me. "Don't call him that. Those men are nothing to me."

"They're obviously everything to you," I snapped. "And that's what will cause a war."

"You know nothing of this world," he said in a cold voice. "It's time we trekked through the marshlands. It will be a long day."

At his command, everyone gathered their things and prepared to leave. I caught Sorcha watching me. Maybe the conversation had cleared the air a little. I wished our group could be close enough to trust each other, but maybe that would come in time.

As we approached the marshlands, the air changed, growing thicker and damper. The pull that nobody else appeared to feel strengthened.

I coughed as I struggled to adjust to the different atmosphere. "This feels weird."

"You'll get used to it," Grim said. "The darkness and fog will take longer for you to acclimatise to."

"How big is this marsh?" I asked. I couldn't see more than a few feet ahead of me.

"Nobody knows," he said. "Anyone who has tried to cover it all hasn't come back."

"You were quiet earlier," I said.

"I learn more by listening," he replied. "I've been learning a lot on this journey."

As we continued, the horses began to shy. Then, they finally pulled to a stop.

"They're scared because they can't see," Grim said. "We'll have to lead them. It's safer to pass through marshes on foot, I would think."

We all dismounted and gathered on solid ground, peering at the foggy marsh as we tried to figure out where we were going.

"How do we keep together?" I asked. "I don't want to get lost from the group in there."

"We'll all hold on to each other," Arlen said. "If someone falls, pull them back up immediately. We don't know what's under there."

I swallowed hard. Maybe I wanted to go home a little. The marshlands scared me more than I had expected. A marsh didn't _sound_ terrifying, but seeing the fog and feeling the chill in the air, I felt as if the marsh had moods and emotions, and it wasn't happy to see us.

"Take off your boots," Drake said. "Everyone. Hang them on the horses. Grim, stay behind the group and lead Dubh. He trusts you, and the other horses trust him. Bekind, do you think you can lead us?"

The cat moved ahead in answer. Líle followed Bekind. I gripped Líle's hand, and Anya took my other. Sorcha was right behind her. The rest fell in line, all clinging to each other.

The mud squelched with every step. I sank into the muck, frightened by how hard it was to lift my feet to walk. Eventually, the fog became so thick that I couldn't see past Líle. I glanced over my shoulder. Past Sorcha was nothing but a wall of mist. Shadows loomed everywhere.

"How do we know where we're going?" Sorcha asked.

"Look," Líle said, pointing ahead and a little to the left. "Lights. Bekind, go that way. They look like markers."

Everyone's mood lifted a little as Bekind followed the lights, but my insides felt tugged in another direction. The tingling beneath my feet dissipated the farther we went in the direction the lights seemed to be leading us. Maybe that was a good thing, but I wasn't so sure.

The ground underfoot was grey and murky, and pools of water filled our footprints. Dead, barren trees grew randomly. One looked as though it had been struck by lightning. Little reeds irregularly poked up from the deep water on either side of our muddy path. I listened carefully, but there were no sounds other than the ones we were making.

Líle slipped, and when I tried to catch her, she dragged me down with her. Anya tried to pull me up, but she tumbled after us. The three of us sank under the muddy water, losing our grip on each other's hands.

I struggled to swim, but I didn't know which way was up, and I had lost sight of both Anya and Líle. Reeds wrapped around my ankles and pulled me deeper. The reeds felt like clawing hands. I panicked, blind in the filthy water.

Strong hands gripped me and yanked me up just when my lungs felt fit to burst. Dymphna hauled me back onto solid ground, leaving me shivering next to Anya. Next, Dymphna and Arlen pulled out the pale, lifeless body of Líle and laid her on the path.

I pushed them out of the way and pressed down on her chest, but she wasn't breathing. I turned her head to the side. Some water drained from her nose and mouth.

"Cara," somebody said. "She's leaving."

"No," I whispered.

With shaking hands, I pinched her nose, pressed my lips to her mouth, and blew air into her. I stopped to do chest compressions like I'd seen on television, but she only lay still. I repeated the actions over and over until her body jerked. I leaned back and rolled her onto her side. Water and mud flew out of her mouth.

"Cover her," Arlen said.

Grim handed him a blanket. Arlen wrapped it around Líle and stood her on her feet.

"We have to get you moving," he said. "The cold will end you more surely than anything else."

"Something grabbed me," Anya whispered.

"Me, too." I stared at my hands. They refused to stop shaking. "It pulled me down. What's _in_ there?"

"We don't want to know," Arlen said. "This time, I'll lead. We need to move fast to keep you three warm, but we have to be more careful."

Líle looked ill, but she was willing to keep walking. "It's death water," she whispered to me. "I swallowed so much of it. I feel cursed now."

"Brighid wouldn't let you be cursed," I said to make her feel better.

"The Mother abandoned us."

"She led you and Anya right to me when I needed you," I said. "Maybe she's watching over you now."

"Then let her help us out of this marsh," Anya said with a sob.

We followed the lights again. Then, I spotted the lightning-struck tree... again.

"We're going in circles," I said. "We passed that tree already."

"Nonsense," Sorcha said.

"Maybe you're mistaken," Arlen said, continuing the trek.

I shut up, but after a while, we came to the lightning tree again. I pointed it out, and we stopped so they could all look. Sorcha swore it wasn't the same tree, so Arlen kept going.

When we passed the lightning tree for the fourth time, Drake said, "We have to go back. We're tired, the women are freezing, and we could all use a hot meal. We're practically back where we started. Just lead us back out, Arlen."

But no matter what we did, we couldn't reach firm ground again. There was some magic in the air preventing us from exiting, even through the way we had arrived. We were lost in the marshlands.

# Chapter 11

"We have to get out of here!" Sorcha was the most worried I had ever seen her.

Shivering in my damp clothes, I stared out at the marshlands. My skin felt clammy, and a wretched feeling of despair hung in the air. All I could think about was how wrong it had felt when we followed the lights.

"It's the lights," I said. "They're there to mislead us, I think."

Scorcha looked at me. "So... what? You want us to close our eyes? Wander around the marshlands in the dark?"

"Realtín can give us light." I shivered violently.

Drake took the wet robe off me and wrapped his own cloak around my shoulders. "We still don't know the way," he said. "We need to be led."

"Bekind didn't fall into the water," I reminded him. "Líle did, but Bekind was on firm ground. She can keep us out of the water. There has to be a way across. Nobody would know about the rift in the Fade if there wasn't. What if we're supposed to ignore what we see and follow what we feel instead?"

"I don't feel anything but misery," Drake said.

"He's right," Grim added. "The despair is potent. Many souls must have suffered to create this trap."

"I'll never feel anything other than miserable again," Líle whispered.

"I feel something," I said quietly. They were right about the despair, but it was coming from somewhere, and maybe that was the key to finding our way out. I wriggled my toes in the mud. "Sometimes I feel pulled away from the lights... almost like something's calling me away. And when I concentrate, I feel something beneath my feet. When we follow the lights, it gets weaker."

Drake studied me. "What do you feel?"

"I don't know what to call it, but we're already lost, so why not try to follow it? What if... what if I closed my eyes and tried to make it through. Bekind could make sure I didn't fall in. Realtín could light the way for everyone else."

"None of us know the way, lights or no!" Sorcha shouted.

"Calm down," Arlen said. "This isn't helping."

Scorcha jabbed a finger at me. " _She_ isn't helping. She's not even making sense! It's the madness. She's been with us too long."

I pressed my fingers to my temples. "There has to be a way out. There can't be a marsh that nobody has ever crossed. That's just stupid."

"How do you know?" Sorcha asked. "Maybe nobody has passed through."

"Then how did the lights get there? How do we know what lies beyond? About the rift and everything else?"

"There's some way through," Grim said. "Some path. We just have to find it."

I nodded. "And Bekind can follow the solid path. That's a start. I've been thinking."

Sorcha let out a derisive snort. "Are we supposed to be impressed?"

I ignored her. "What if it works like the leylines?"

I had been considering that for a while. When I side-stepped, the feeling strengthened. It was like the first festival again, that feeling of security, of being grounded. Something had drawn me to the festival; perhaps something could draw me past the marshes. The fae lived with the power. Maybe it wasn't as noticeable to them as it was to me.

"We're not in the human realm," Dymphna said. "The leylines exist differently, so the magic works differently. This is beyond, and the Darkside is something unto itself."

"Something has to make sense," I said. "Chaos didn't always rule, right? Maybe the marshes are there to stop people, but that doesn't mean they exist to stop _all_ people. And I'm not used to the fae realm like you all are. What if I can sense the difference? Grim said the despair we all feel comes from suffering. What if it's there to confuse the fae? Maybe if we find the source, we'll find our way out." I shrugged. "Maybe we won't, but it's better than standing here arguing."

"She's going to get us all killed," Sorcha scoffed.

"We're already dead," Drake said. "Why not fight for a way out until we drop?"

Scorcha pursed her lips but didn't say anything else.

"Okay," I said. "We can give it a try. I'll close my eyes so the lights don't distract me into circling again. Bekind will walk in front of me to make sure I stay on solid ground. Arlen can hold on to my waist to catch me if I do fall. Realtín can light Bekind and Arlen's way. We'll move slowly."

They all agreed to try, probably out of desperation. My plan sounded loopy even to me, but it felt right. The fae realm had different rules, and we had to think outside the box, particularly in Darkside.

Drake appointed himself as my waist-holder. Realtín streamed her light outward, which wasn't difficult, since she was already in a panic. Bekind circled my ankles. And I squeezed my eyes shut, closing myself off to the treacherous lights.

I felt ill. If we couldn't find our way out of the magic, then we would all perish on the marshes. I concentrated, trying to remember the feeling I'd had when Líle had made me find the garden by myself. I had earned that trip to Brighid's gardens, and I was determined to earn a way out of the marshes.

I took a couple of steps, trying to feel something. I stepped into deeper mud. Water splashed over my feet and ankles. But it was there! Something pulsed underfoot, something that had been there all along. Once I found it, the sensation was impossible to lose. I wasn't sure how the others hadn't noticed it, but maybe the panic blocked everything else out. Everyone else was too focused on what they could see, too overwhelmed by the hopelessness, too distrusting to give up their sight. But Bekind, Realtín, and Drake were acting as my eyes. I trusted them enough to give myself up to a different sense.

I took more steps. The mud squelched. The wind blew hard. I could smell muskiness and smoke. I side-stepped, following an unseen path and never once stepping into the water. Drake's hands remained firm on my waist, and I grew more confident.

"We're going in circles," Sorcha said loudly.

"Don't listen to her," Drake whispered. "Keep trying. You were right, I think. The lights are meant to mislead us, not guide us. You're supposed to put your trust in something other than your eyes. That's the trick. Don't open your eyes. Just trust your instincts. They've always worked well. Brendan thought you had a strong survival instinct, a knack for figuring out how to adjust. Use it."

I shivered. He had put his faith in me, but there was a good chance I was full of shit. What did I know about the fae realm? I faltered and almost slid into some water, but he held me steady.

"My mistake," I said, truly feeling the difference under my feet.

I walked for what seemed like ages. Dubh whinnied a couple of times, but everyone else stayed quiet. I moved faster, anxious in case something was behind us.

"Is there something there?" I whispered.

"Nothing at all," Drake said. "Keep calm."

"I'm so cold. My clothes aren't drying."

"It's not true water," he said. "This place was made of magic. Someone didn't want people to pass through this way."

"You have to earn it," I said, sniffling. "You have to earn everything."

His hands gripped tighter. "I can't disagree with that, Cara."

We kept going. I heard muttering and complaints from the others as I waded through the mud. Didn't they see they were making it so much worse for all of us? One negative comment multiplied the misery by ten. If they could just be optimistic for a while, it wouldn't feel so bad. My heart sank with each step, but then I heard something that sent my nerves into overdrive.

"I think I can hear music."

Drake's fingers tightened again. "So can I. We must be close. You're doing it, Cara. You're on the right path. It looked wrong, but it's working."

I laughed nervously. "It looked wrong, but you let me do it anyway?"

"We had nothing to lose."

I heard the humour in his voice and relaxed. If such a serious fae was amused, then we were okay.

I shivered more violently. "Are Anya and Líle okay?"

"About the same as you," he said. "The sooner we get the three of you warmed up, the better." He paused. "I'm going to have to start separating you three. You get into the most trouble together."

I laughed. "I'd love to see you try."

"And Brendan thought you and Grim and Realtín were the terrible trio."

"He had more important things to worry about."

"And yet he worried about you, too."

My breath hitched. "It feels like there's a question in there somewhere."

"Maybe there is. Maybe I don't need to know the answer, though."

The sound of music had faded, but after about ten minutes, it became louder again.

"The surface feels firmer now," I said excitedly. "Less wet."

"I agree," Drake said. "We would never have made it this far without you, Cara."

"You would never have been here in the first place without me," I reminded him. "I'm the cause of all your trouble, right here."

He moved closer. "I can't argue with that either," he whispered.

His breath felt warm on my still damp skin. The music grew in volume. We were close to the other side. We had to be.

Fifteen minutes later, Drake grabbed my hand and told me to run. We ran from the marsh and onto solid ground. He lifted me and whirled me around in his arms.

"We made it!" I yelled.

"You did it!" he said at the same time.

"Oh, my God," I said, holding his face in my hands. "You really thought we were going to die out there."

He grinned and let me go, motioning to the others. They slapped me on the back with their thanks and congratulations. Even Sorcha gave me a nod.

"Thank Bekind and Realtín, too," I said. "They helped. And Drake."

The horses seemed more relieved than anyone to have left the soft marshes. I looked back, but the fog had thickened around the marsh, and I couldn't even see where we had walked through.

"It's the weirdest place I've ever been," I said as Realtín flew down to pinch my cheeks. My teeth started to chatter. Anya and Líle looked even colder than I was.

"We have to find shelter and build a fire," Arlen said, looking at Anya who was shaking uncontrollably.

I glanced around and realised the music had stopped. "Where? I can't see anything but stone and shadows."

"Hello there!" someone called.

A dog barked. A shadowy figure waved at us from a few yards away. He had a bright torch in one hand and some kind of fiddle in the other. "Made it through, did you? You'll need to come along now, I reckon. Most who make it die of exposure before they can finish celebrating."

"Who are you?" Drake demanded.

"The Watcher," the man said as if it was the stupidest question that had ever been asked. "The Watcher of the Hauntings. Don't worry about that now. We've a nice fire going. You're welcome to have a bite to eat. It's my job, you see. I knew you were out there, but by rights, you shouldn't have made it out. Too many of you." He chuckled. "You took your time, though. Still, you're here now. Let's go!"

"We might as well," Drake said wearily. "We've nowhere else to go."

"What the hell are the Hauntings?" I asked.

Drake shrugged. "I suppose we'll soon find out. Come on, before the three of you freeze to death."

We headed toward the man. The darkness reminded me of my very first night with the fae, the way it had seemed alive and able to touch me. I glanced over my shoulder. The fog was chasing us. I shuddered at the idea that I had led everyone through it with my eyes closed. Maybe Sorcha was right. Maybe a goddess really was looking out for me. But why?

I licked my lips. I was thirsty and could probably have fallen asleep standing up. "How long do you think we were in there?" I asked Drake.

"The day and most of the night," he said. "I have no idea where we go from here. I hope Bekind is a good guide from this point."

"Maybe the man will know."

"The Watcher," he said in a teasing tone. "We're touchy about our titles in the fae realm."

"Yes, King Drake."

He leaned over and kissed my cheek. "I hate when you call me that."

We trailed behind the others, our arms wrapped around each other. I leaned my head against his shoulder and sighed. This was the way it should have been all along. I had almost forgotten what our trip was about, and that pricked at my guilty conscience.

I disengaged from him. "Sorry," I whispered past the lump in my throat. "I know you don't want..."

But we had reached the Watcher, and I didn't need to finish.

"So many of you." He tutted. "Don't have beds for everyone, mind you, but I can get you clean and warm in any case. Some of you can sleep on the floor, I'd say."

We followed him down a path to a small building. Beside it was a small river with a kind of a mill churning the water.

We all jumped when a scream sounded in the distance.

"That won't reach you here," the Watcher said, sounding completely unconcerned.

Food smells filled the air, and I forgot to worry. We had survived another part of our journey.

# Chapter 12

The Watcher's home was warm and cosy and spotlessly clean. A clock hung above the fireplace, but the hands didn't move. Open-mouthed ceramic birds decorated the walls. A plump, red-faced woman stood in a doorway, her hands on her hips. Twin pale-pink pixies peeked around her to ogle us. My companions and I piled into the front room, crowding together to take up as little space as possible.

"Visitors," the Watcher told the woman. "Wandered through the marsh."

"There are too many of them," she replied.

He looked at her reprovingly. "Wife, they're guests."

Drake took a deep breath and stepped forward. "I am the king of this realm. Any help you give us now will be greatly rewarded when we safely return."

"Anyone can say they're the king," the Watcher said. "You'll be showing us the proof, I think."

Drake removed his cloak and unbuttoned his shirt. I glanced at Grim in confusion, but his gaze was fixed on Drake. I looked back at Drake, who had removed his shirt and turned around. Some irregular horizontal lines ran across his shoulder blade, crossing over one vertical duo-chromed line that glistened oddly, branding him as king, apparently.

The Watcher and his wife bowed and curtsied in front of Drake, whose cheeks flushed. He glanced at me, and I couldn't resist a quick curtsy. He made a face before turning back to the Watcher.

"No," Drake said. "None of that, _please_. Take care of my companions before they get a chill, and I'll be happy for your service."

"Well, settle yourselves down then," the Watcher said. "The Wife'll be looking after you all. May as well relax for the evening."

The Watcher rested the fiddle in a stand and sat on a cushy chair in front of the fire. His dog, some kind of lanky hound, lay at his feet with a heavy sigh. The woman known to us only as the Wife gave some orders, and the pixies took our cloaks. They flirted with Arlen and Drake until the Wife roared at them to get back to work.

The Watcher smiled. "Made it through the marshes, they did. Didn't lose one on the way."

"We'll have to do this in batches," the Wife said, ignoring him. "Only two baths and not enough hot food in the pot. Nor enough beds either." She clapped her hands. "We'll have to get busy."

"Three fell into the marsh," Drake said. "They should bathe first."

"Of course," she said. "I'll feed the rest of you, put some leftovers on the boil, and sort out the beds. Have to do everything around here, I do. Watcher, you can wait for your food since you've already eaten today. I doubt these poor mites have."

The Watcher nodded good-humouredly. He didn't seem to care what we did. The pixies took Líle, Anya, and me upstairs. Anya was in a foul mood, slapping the pixies' hands away from her.

"You two go first," I said with a yawn.

The pixies filled the baths and tried to help my companions, who firmly rejected the assistance. Anya actually slapped one of them across the face. I wasn't sure what was wrong with her. She seemed to despise the pixies, despite being one herself. After getting dressed in clean clothes, Anya and Líle went downstairs for food. The pixies turned to me.

"A human," one of them said gleefully. "It's been so long. Use the best petals."

"Oh, and the shimmer," the other said, rubbing her hands together.

They prepared a fresh bath scented with petals and decorated with some kind of shimmery crap. The heat of the water drove all of the cold from the marsh away. The pixies washed my hair, and I gratefully let them.

Like Brendan's pixies, they giggled about the fairy tattoo on my hip and sighed enviously at my lack of wings. Like Anya, they tutted over the missing chunks of hair. They refused to cut the rest of my hair short to match and plaited the shorter chunks instead.

When I was clean, they reluctantly let me get dressed. They gave me a beautiful white dress that was a little loose in the waist but otherwise almost a perfect fit.

"Why are you so good to me?" I asked them.

One of the pixies grinned, displaying sharp little teeth. "We like to play with humans."

They were children playing with dolls. They dressed me up and wished for a back free of wings, but they would forget me as soon as I left. I wondered if Anya thought of me as a doll.

When I walked back downstairs, almost everyone had already gone to bed, choosing to sleep instead of bathing. I didn't blame them.

"There," the Wife said, pointing at a chair at the kitchen table. "You look much better now. Warm and clean. Makes a difference to your mood, doesn't it?"

I nodded and took a seat.

She patted my shoulder. "They call the marshlands the Black Marshes because they fill your heart and soul with despair. You were lucky to make it through. And you such a young thing. Some never recover. I hope your heart is light enough to bear it."

Drake came into the room and sat next to me. She served us each a bowl of thick casserole then left the room.

"I waited," he explained. "The beds are all taken, so we have to sleep in the living room in front of the fire. Grim and Realtín are already asleep there, I think. I didn't want to leave you alone, so..."

"Thanks."

We ate in comfortable silence. His knee pressed against mine under the table. He looked exhausted.

"No keeping watch tonight," I said.

"I can't sleep anyway," he admitted. "That's why I keep first watch. I just can't seem to fall asleep."

"You sleep in the mornings."

"Barely. I wait until I can't keep my eyes open anymore. Then one of the others takes over, and I lie down. I fall asleep straight away, but then I wake up a while later, ready to move on again."

"That's not healthy."

He shrugged. "Some things give me sleepless nights. That's the price I pay."

The pixies came in and made a beeline for Drake. They nudged each other, pink-toned skin gleaming and wings beating mesmerisingly fast. I watched with fascination as they acted like cats in heat. Anya had never flirted with Drake, but I had seen her entranced by Brendan.

"We're good pixies," one said, sidling over and brushing her wings against him.

"Wasted in a place like this," the other added, pushing her way between Drake and me. She reached out to stroke his wings.

"Wife!" Drake shouted, making me jump.

The woman rushed into the room, her ruddy cheeks almost purple. She glared at her pixies.

"Take these two away from me and my companions," he said. "And if anyone is harmed in the night, you will take the blame."

She nodded and ordered the pixies to sleep in the stable with the horses. They grumbled as they fled the kitchen.

"I'm sorry," the Wife said to Drake then threw a glance my way. "You know how they are, but she'll be safe tonight. Don't you worry. I'll organise your bath myself. They won't be back in this house tonight."

Drake nodded and finished his meal. When he left to bathe, the Wife returned to take me into the living room. Grim and Realtín were curled up on top of a dresser in the corner.

"You'll be warm in here at least," she said apologetically.

"Would the pixies have done something to me?" I asked. "Why?"

"They're pixies, aren't they?" She patted my arm. "They're born to do whatever it takes. If something's in their way, they aren't going to hesitate. They're not the best little ones. We took them in as babes, but they never learned to be different." She drew me toward the blankets. "I told the king I'd give him our bed, but he refused. He said he'd rather be down here. I don't know what to make of him." She pulled back the top blanket. "Well, I'm sure you're tired after your journey. Settle down now and rest. There's a good girl."

I crawled into the pallet on the floor. The heat knocked me out within minutes.

I awoke, wondering where on earth I was. I was warm and comfortable for the first time in a while. I blinked a couple of times as I tried to focus. The ceiling was covered in birds. Over the crackling of a fire, I could hear a strange scraping noise. I sat up with a fright, gazing around the room. Grim and Realtín were gone. Drake sat in front of the fire, his violet eyes red-rimmed. He was holding something in his hands, working on it with a small knife.

Intrigued, I crawled closer and looked at the carving. "It's Dubh," I whispered. "It's amazing."

He peeled off another shaving. "If I finish it, perhaps it would do."

"Where are Grim and Realtín?"

"Bekind made them move elsewhere. Said they would be more comfortable."

In my heart, I knew she wanted something else. I leaned my arms on his knees and rested my chin in my hand. "Can't sleep?"

He gazed at me with eyes so full of longing I could hardly breathe. "No," he said in a low voice. "Sleep never comes easy."

My gaze flicked to the wooden horse. "So it was you before? You left the butterfly in my room back home? And the... other one at Brendan's?"

"I didn't know what else to do with them."

"They're so beautiful."

He touched my cheek. "It's you." He held up the horse. "You make this better somehow."

I shook my head. "I'm not magic, Drake."

"Then you're inspiration." He laid down the knife and carving. "But you don't need to use up the people you inspire in order to feed. You're not the leanan sídhe."

"Why didn't you say anything before? Why just leave them there for me?"

He shrugged. "I wanted you to have them. I wanted... I _needed_ you to see them and not think about the person who gave them to you."

"You made _me_."

He smiled. "I refused to fall back asleep because I knew he would take over again. Maybe recreating a small part of that night helped me feel like it would last forever."

My insides did a little twist. Every time I made up my mind about him, something else was revealed to turn back time for my heart.

"If I had stayed in the human realm, I probably would have been a carpenter." He ran a hand through my hair. "Sculpting wasn't a way to earn money in Ireland in those days. It probably still isn't. I didn't try, though. Not in either realm. Sometimes, I would carve something without meaning to, not even realising it. Anger blocked the creativity. When I met you, I felt inspired again. I know now it's because you're the descendant of a leanan sídhe, that there must be something in your blood, but I was convinced that just knowing you was something special for me. But I get in my own way a lot. I've spent a very long time with one goal in mind, and you've been the first true distraction to come along. There's something in you that changes us, Cara. Sorcha is terrified of it. Maybe it's the humanity, but maybe we really do want to make you happy."

I stared at him, unsure of what to say.

"I don't care, you know," he said. "Whatever the reason is, it doesn't make a difference to me."

"But me growing old does?"

He dropped his hand, agitation in his eyes. "If I didn't care, I'd let you think this has a happy ending," he whispered, leaning closer to me. "It can't be. I'm not destined to rule as king. I'm destined to die bloody and satisfied that I did what I could to avenge what was done to my family. You deserve to have a normal, fulfilling life. It's something I, of all people, have no chance of providing for you."

"Maybe I make my own happiness. Maybe I don't need to rely on somebody else to give me anything."

"If I kept you here, you would resent me in time." He stroked my cheek. "Or worse, we would drive you mad. I've seen the shells of summer wives. I wouldn't be able to stand that for you."

"I'm not going mad."

"Some would say entering the Fade is the very definition of madness."

"Then you're all mad, too."

"We're fae," he said. "There is no sanity here. This is a wonderland with the blackest shadows tainting the edges. There's a pretty blanket, but hidden underneath is something rotten and depraved. You don't belong with us."

"What's changed? When you thought you were going to die..."

"I have the title of king over my head," he said. "Brendan could want to war with me. Sadler surely will. There is no safe place by my side. My favour would kill you."

"I didn't ask you for anything. Stop rejecting me."

"This isn't rejection! This is protection. I have to protect you because you have no sense of danger when you're around us."

"Or I just don't care," I whispered. "I miss you."

"I miss you, too."

A hitch in his voice gave me courage. He might be king, but he was still Drake. We had been through too much to forget what was at the heart of us both.

I leaned over and kissed him. He pulled me onto his lap, his hands twining in my hair. I had forgotten how it felt to lose myself to a faery, the true oblivion that I had been seeking for a long time. I thought of nothing but his kiss and his touch.

When Drake pulled away, his eyes were glazed over, and I knew that he was drunk on me. We had an effect on each other, something neither of us could quite explain.

He lifted my skirt to run his hands up my legs, and I mentally thanked the pixies for being so thorough in my bath. I sank down to get closer to him. He pulled on my lower lip with his teeth then let go of my mouth to kiss my neck. Soon, I was covered in goosebumps.

"You should sleep," he breathed, still kissing my neck.

"I know."

He carried me across the room and lay me on the blankets. His wings unfolded, sparking a shimmering glow that reflected off the ornaments in the room. He stared down at me. "This isn't the place."

There was a question there, but I treated it as a statement instead. "I know. You haven't been sleeping. I'll keep watch."

He yawned. "Dubh will warn us if trouble comes."

He lay down next to me and pulled me close. Half-draped across him, I felt his breathing slow and watched him struggle to keep his eyes open. His insomnia was apparently gone because he conked out almost immediately.

While he slept, I wondered how we were going to deal with the future. He was adamant that we didn't have one, and we were about to rescue the soul who had once shared his body, a soul I had begun developing feelings for, too. But it was hard to care about any of that stuff while I lay in his arms.

# Chapter 13

I woke up the next morning to a tiny paw batting at my face. I looked up at the cat through blurry vision. I closed my eyes until she spat and hissed at me.

"Fine, I'm up," I mumbled. "What is _with_ you?"

She darted toward the door and looked back at me.

"'Kay, Lassie." Shaking my head, I got up and went to the front door.

Hearing voices, I opened it and looked outside. Near the end of the Watcher's garden, Sorcha and Drake were standing close together, arguing loudly. I couldn't make out the words, but he seemed furious. She mostly looked exasperated, but that was pretty much her default expression.

"And you thought I just had to see this, right?" I whispered to Bekind. "I know what you did last night, making sure we were alone together. What are you like?"

Bekind bit my ankle and fled back inside. I shut the door, went back, and got under the blankets, making sure my hair covered my face. Bekind sprawled out next to me.

After a moment, Sorcha stormed in, saying, "As long as you don't forget." She stomped up the stairs.

Forget what? I held my breath when Drake returned. He hesitated in the middle of the room before taking a seat in front of the dying fire. Bekind jumped off the blanket. I glanced up to see her perched on his lap, both of them staring at each other. I had no idea what was going on or what to do about it.

A few minutes later, the Watcher came in and told Drake, "I'll make us some tea," he said. "Then we'll talk." He and Drake went into the kitchen.

I decided to get up. It was still early, and I was exhausted, but I didn't want to miss the conversation. When I walked in, the Watcher was at the stove, where he had put on a kettle.

Drake was sitting at the table. "Good morning." He didn't get up.

Bekind hissed and swiped at him then jumped off his lap. She pranced over and curled around my ankles.

I sat at the table and watched the Watcher fry some rashers and sausages. Bekind sat at my feet, her tail wrapping and unwrapping around my calves.

"Might as well eat and drink while we talk," the Watcher remarked merrily as the fat spit in the pan.

My stomach rumbled. Drake smiled at me. For a moment, everything seemed like it could be normal.

The Watcher plonked a teapot and a plate of food on the table. Next came some buttered bread and milk.

"You see," he said with a wink. "I can indeed look after myself. Now tuck in before the rest get up. Herself can deal with them. I know you'll want to discuss things first."

We obeyed willingly, making hot sandwiches that we promptly shoved into our mouths. I shared tidbits with the cat. The food tasted divine, and the tea was exactly what I needed to get warm. The marsh had left the chill inside me, but the longer we stayed in the Watcher's cottage, the better it got.

"We raise animals out back," the Watcher said. "Only way to be sure of fresh meat this far out. You caught us at a good time. We stocked up only last week, and I just took apart a carcass myself. Has to be done, you see. Not many pass by here, as you can probably guess, and we can only leave less than a dozen times a year. Still, we're safer than you'd expect." He took a sip of his tea, his eyes on Drake. "So you're the new king. Saw the colours rise, but I wasn't sure who they were rising for. You don't look like... _him_."

"That's because I'm not," Drake said. "The banshee brought his soul back from the Fade and into my body, but Brighid's priestesses sent him back right before coronation."

"Did they now? Leaving you to take control," the Watcher said. "Interesting. And you're going where exactly?"

"To the Fade," Drake said. "To bring Brendan back again."

"That's an unusual tactic all right." The Watcher looked at me. "And where does the human fit in to all of this?"

Drake hesitated. "It's complicated."

"Isn't it always?" He refilled our cups. "And you made it through the marshes. Not many manage that in one piece, truth be told. You spent so long out there that I didn't expect much from you all."

"That was the human, too," Drake said, smiling at me as if he were proud.

"Doesn't surprise me overly much. Stranger things have happened out this way."

Drake nodded. "Like you and your wife. You're not fae."

"Not human, either. Anyway, I've told you I'm the Watcher, and you're wondering what the Hauntings are." He sighed. "You're not far from the Fade now. The Hauntings are all that's in your way. Then there's the valley, but that's your way in, I'm thinking. I'm not a guardian of the Fade, mind. I'm here to watch the road for travellers and make sure none of 'em fall where they stand. But there are guardians of the Fade. Not just the shades. You won't make it past them. The dead aren't supposed to join the living."

"He's not dead," I said. "He never actually died. Just his soul was sent away. And it was sent away this time to save my life. We can't just leave him there."

The Watcher rubbed his chin. "Hmm, a life debt? That may change things slightly. I don't rate your chances, mind."

"You were going to tell us about the Hauntings," Drake said, his knee knocking against mine under the table.

"Yes, well, it's a strange place. It's like a town full of echoes, full of pain that seeped into the Black Marshes. It's hard to explain." He rubbed his face again. "I'm here to watch out for the Hauntings, to make sure nothing gets past this way. And usually it doesn't, but if people are wandering in and out... Well, when a soul stays in the Fade too long, it loses its humanity, as it were. Isn't it strange how we refer to it as 'humanity' when most of the fae think they're so far above humans?" He shook his head with a laugh. "They're supposed to move on to the Nether, you know. But some get trapped, and others are determined not to move on. Things are different in the Fade. So when a soul loses its sense of self, it often becomes a shade, but its memories go elsewhere because some things can't die."

"Where do the memories go?" I asked.

"Into the Hauntings."

"I don't think I understand," Drake said, but the frown on his face said otherwise.

"The Hauntings are full of... atmospheres. The simple version would call it the reruns of the memories of the lost souls. They're _gone,_ in every sense of the word, but something always remains. You can never quite scrub a soul from the earth, you see. So the full of these memories and scenarios, the ones that mean the most to the souls. They've played over and over for so long that they feel real."

I tried to wrap my head around that. "So we're stepping into a person's memories?"

"The shadows of them, but they're often a little too real. It's confusing to pass through, and sometimes you get stuck in a memory. Sometimes you come out of there with a memory stuck to you. That's the danger. Passing through the marshes makes it worse."

"Why's that?" Drake asked.

"Because it's the Black Marshes," I guessed, "because you're already full of despair when you step into the Hauntings."

The Watcher nodded. "This is so. The marshlands make you weak. The Hauntings make the most of weakness. And the real fear that occurs when someone steps into a memory serves to strengthen it. It's a feeding cycle that keeps it alive." He shrugged. "Because most of the souls who hang on are there because of the darkness of their hearts, because they're unwilling to let go of their anger and pain, and that's what's ultimately left behind, even long after the soul has become a shade. Their memories are the most dangerous, the most... sticky, and I'm here to watch and advise you all not to go. Stay here or go home, but don't pass through the Hauntings, for your own sakes. People have been driven mad by less."

"I'm going," I said. "I'm not giving up this close to the Fade."

"It's not just the travellers I'm here to watch over," the Watcher said. "At the Fade, the line between the fae realm and the human one is at its thinnest. This is a true divide, the centre of all. The way is shrouded for a reason. We cannot allow the shades to find their way into the fae realm, never mind the human one. And as much as we try, sometimes the memories make their way through the divide. Sometimes they slip past us and linger in the human world."

"You mean like ghosts?" I asked. "Ghost stories come from fae memories?"

"Too simple," the Watcher said, "and yet relatively accurate. This way was protected by higher beings a long time ago. Even Darksiders don't dare come this way. That's how it should be. The Darkside is an aberration, created by treachery and ill-judgement. It was that time, during a dark war, that Brighid herself turned her back on the fae—well deserved, if we're honest."

"So why are you here?" Drake asked. "Why do you know about this when I, as king, do not?"

"Kings have no power here," the Watcher scoffed. "We took you in because that's what we do. You'll never return with a reward. But we wanted to get the measure of you. That's true enough. I'm here to..." For the first time, he didn't look cheery. "I'm here to right old wrongs. The rules are different this close to the Fade."

"If I found a way back," Drake asked, "is there anything I could do to help you?"

The Watcher laughed. "Not a thing. It's not for you to interfere here, not unless the Mother herself wants you to."

Drake glanced at me. "What if she did?"

"Then I'm sure I would know about it."

"So if we pass through the Hauntings and bring Brendan back from the Fade, what happens then? Will you let us pass?"

"If you're clean," the Watcher said. "If you aren't, you won't be leaving. It takes time to scrub away those memories. You would be a danger to everyone in both realms if I didn't keep you here."

"But you can help someone who isn't clean?" I asked.

" _We_ can," the Wife said, appearing in the doorway. "But it isn't pleasant. You would have the choice of losing yourself in the Hauntings, living amongst memories that are not your own. You wouldn't be the first. Eventually, you would forget your own name, your own life, and you wouldn't be able to tell which memory was yours or somebody else's. It's a bad risk to take."

"Entering the marshes was a risk," Drake said, "And we made it through. Doesn't that tell you something?"

"That you're lucky." The Wife crossed the room and looked in the presses. "And luck has a way of running out."

"We won't stop you from trying," the Watcher said. "But anyone who comes back unclean will stay with us."

"Or stay in the Hauntings," the Wife added. "Most times, there's no persuading them."

I looked at Drake. He appeared unruffled, but under the table, his hand was tightly wrapped around mine.

"Do humans enter the Fade?" I asked. "Is that why the divide is thin here?"

"I've never been inside the Fade," the Watcher said softly. "We don't belong there."

"Least not yet," the Wife said with a laugh. "And maybe never at that."

"You've given us a lot to think about," Drake said. He looked at me. "We need to talk."

"That you do," the Watcher said. "It's cold, but it's nice enough of a morning to have a wander outside."

Drake fetched my boots and wrapped his cloak around my shoulders.

"I don't understand most of this," I admitted as we walked. "How does it work? Why is it so cold here?"

"The thinner the divide, the more alike the realms are," he said. "Otherwise, the weather is at the whims of others."

"Brendan said the royals don't command the weather, even though they claim to."

"No," he said hesitantly. "I don't doubt that, but there is power, and that comes from elsewhere. The seasons are important, but for a long time now, there haven't been proper seasons in the fae realm. The fae blamed the queens, but they're gone, and it's still happening, so the whispers of Brighid have begun anew."

"Maybe Grim was right that it's because Brighid turned her back. There are seasons in my world, so maybe she didn't turn her back on us."

"It's a good theory," he said, "but none of us know if Brighid even exists. Just because her priestesses occasionally show themselves doesn't mean she's around. This place feels unnatural to me. Do you feel that?"

"Honestly? It's feels real. Everywhere else feels... fake, as if somebody drew some scenery and let us wander around in the picture. Nothing ever feels... right. But here, it's dark and gritty and grim, and there's nothing fake about it."

"It feels like something terrible overcame this place at one time. I've never been this deep before." He shrugged. "Then again, since I've been crowned, everything is different."

"Like what? What happened at the coronation?"

He stared at the ground and kicked a rock. "I already had the power. I was brimming with it. I could taste it in my throat, felt like it would explode through my skin. The priestesses did that. When we came back to Sorcha's attack, I acted on instinct, but I had no idea how to control the power. I didn't like it at first. It's overwhelming. But I got used to it. Now I can't imagine existing without it. During the coronation, as soon as they branded me, everything changed again. I saw everything differently, felt things I had never felt before."

"Sounds kind of terrifying."

"It is a little. I can sense the fae in this realm, feel the threads connecting me to them. I don't understand what to do with that. Whenever another fae swears fealty to me, the weight of the power increases, but I can't direct it, can't control it. I can't focus the power properly. Sorcha promised to help, but—"

"Is that the deal you made?" I asked. "For her help?"

He avoided my eyes. "Perhaps Brendan will help me if he returns. He was born with this kind of power. He wears it better than I do."

"So what can you do?"

"I'm not sure. I know I can hurt people. I haven't tried to do that yet, but I've come close. Something like that would leave a massive trace behind, but I can make people do what I want them to for a time."

"Like what?"

He smiled. "Wouldn't you like to know? Here."

He handed me a bloom that came out of nowhere. It lay in my hands, purple and full and fragrant.

"It's beautiful," I whispered.

He ran his hand across the flower. It became a rock, dirty and rough.

I dropped it. "Why did you do that to the flower?"

"It was never a flower. That's the point. I made you see the flower, then you saw it for what it was truly. Glamours and illusions, Cara. Now I'm the king of them." He turned and walked away.

I followed and grabbed his arm. "What's with you?"

"I should have taken you to the coronation, should have made you stay by my side and then..." He shook his head. "You're not coming into the Fade with us."

"You can't stop me. That's ridiculous. I could help."

"You can't—"

"I'm not just a useless human! I got us through the marshes. I made it far enough without you and Arlen. I've lived this long and survived the fae, Drake. I'm more than what you all make of me!"

"I know you're not useless," he said. "But we're going to suffer for what we're planning on doing. We're going to pay. You're a distraction. You're the one who's going to get us killed."

I shoved him, enraged by his attitude. "Screw you! You can't just use me then ditch me. I'm going, and you can't stop me. You're not my bloody king. We're all going through the Hauntings, and we're all going to the Fade, and we're going to rip Brendan out of there and get home in one piece. Do you understand?"

He laughed.

I pushed him again. "Do _not_ laugh at me, faery king!"

He grabbed my hands. "Please stop hitting me, human. You're destroying the reputation I'm trying to build." He cupped my cheek, his eyes soft again. "I don't want to see you harmed. Can't you understand that?"

"Nobody owns me. Nobody tells me what to do. I'm not your subject or your slave, Drake. Not now or ever."

"I know. But I had to try." His hand fell away. "Fine, I won't leave you behind, but remember what the Watcher said. If you come back unclean, he's keeping you with him. Are you sure you can handle that? I can't wait around and babysit you afterward. I have a kingdom to rule."

"What do you think will happen when you go back?" I asked, suddenly scared. "Will the daoine sídhe really handle things for you until you return?"

"They'll do whatever they can. I don't know what will happen, but I can't imagine it will be easy or pleasant. I've chosen a hard path, but it's the one I'm on, so I'm going to make the best of it. No matter what happens, I'd advise you to do the same."

"This is me. Making the best of things," I said wryly.

"We should get back inside. We need to let the others know the dangers we'll face."

"You go on then," I said. "I want to check on Dubh."

But he came with me as if he thought I might run away there and then. I shared some sugar lumps I had stolen from the kitchen with the horse. He seemed slightly less antagonistic, which was a bonus.

"He's a decent horse," Drake said. "You were lucky to find him. He seems attached to you."

"And I suppose that's my fault, too." I looked at him. "I'm not forcing anyone to help me, no matter what any of you say."

"Forcing is not the right word. There's nothing wrong with doing what you have to do to survive." He turned on his heel and walked away.

I stayed with Dubh until Realtín came out and coaxed me back inside. I didn't need to hear the conversation, though. I already knew exactly where my path lay.

# Chapter 14

"I am _not_ getting lost in the memories of the dead!" Líle cried. She hadn't been looking well since we left the marshes, and apparently, the next bit happened to be her worst nightmare. "This isn't right. We can't do this."

"You don't have to," I said. "Nobody's forcing anyone to be here. Bekind offered to lead me to the Fade. That's all that matters now. We've made it this far. I can't ask you all for any more."

"Cara," Líle said, "surely you see he's not worth this. It's unnatural. It's—"

"Don't tell me what to think," I said coolly. "I have a debt to repay, and I'm not going back until it's done." I ignored the little voice in my head that said it wasn't about a debt. With Drake around, that voice had almost been silenced.

Bekind sat in a chair, a blanket wrapped around her human form. "We need Drake with us," she said. "And Dubh. That's all. The rest are extras. Helpful, but ultimately unnecessary."

I looked at her in confusion. "We don't need Drake at all. In fact, he's the one who shouldn't go. If anything happens to him—"

"Well, it's about time you thought of that," Sorcha snapped. "This quest of yours could damage the entire realm. Even if it's successful, you could be starting a war."

"Brendan wants peace," I said.

"So he says."

"He wants to make up for his mistakes. He's wiser now. And Drake won't war with him, right?" I looked to Drake for reassurance. His face was expressionless, but he nodded after a long, tense silence.

Bekind squeezed her eyes shut. "We might need Drake to take Brendan out of the Fade."

"Hold on, Bekind," I said. "What?"

Bekind licked her lips. "A connection is the only way to take a lingering soul from the Fade. Preferably a genetic connection. Drake might be the best connection we have, considering Brendan once shared his body."

"And you're only telling me this now because...?"

"I thought you would do, but now I'm more confident about him." She jerked her head in Drake's direction.

I pressed my palms against my eyes. "I can't believe this. Is there anything else you've neglected to tell me, Bekind?" Her expression gave nothing away, but I was sure she was holding back. There were always secrets, always betrayals. I had to keep a better look out for them.

"I won't do you harm," Bekind said in a soft voice. "I'm supposed to keep you alive, remember?"

"It doesn't matter," Drake said. "I already intended to finish the journey."

"But we can't," Líle said. "What if we get lost in the Hauntings? What if we never make it to the Fade? And even then... to walk into the Fade. To hide from shades and the like. I don't know if I can do this."

"Líle!" Arlen barked. "You forget yourself. You were ordered to watch over the true child. That doesn't change because our king is lost. It doesn't change because we're free. You pride yourself on your loyalty. What are you doing, working yourself into this state?"

"I want to go with you." Líle reached out to me. "I do, Cara. But I'd rather you didn't go at all."

"It's the Black Marsh," I told Arlen. "It's made her doubt herself. She'll be fine."

"The Mother will watch over us," Anya said. "How else could Cara have led us through the marshes? Have a little faith."

Líle fell silent, but she looked depressed.

"I'm going," Arlen announced. "And you can't stop me, true child, so no running off on Dubh without me."

I grinned at him. I was relieved to have him coming along. He was strong and could make snap decisions when needed. Of course, I had thought the same about Líle, but her fear had gotten the best of her.

"I'm going." Sorcha looked at me. "You're not the only one with debts."

Realtín flew over to kiss my cheek. "Grim and I aren't leaving your side." Grim nodded his agreement.

I felt a little guilty. They clung to me because I was the first person ever to be nice to them, to accept them the way they were. And I was totally taking advantage of that. "What if I asked you to stay here and wait for us? What if I begged you?"

"After the life we've had," Grim said, "we're not meant to die of old age in a bed. This is the way we _choose_ to live now, and that makes all the difference. If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't have a choice. We've talked about it, and we want to be involved in what happens. We don't want to die in obscurity as outcasts. We want to surround ourselves with those who respect us. Thanks to you, there's more than one person we can say that about. And it might be terrifying, but we've experienced more with you than ever in our lives. Let us have that, Cara."

I nodded, tears brimming in my eyes. I couldn't compete with Grim when he chose to speak.

"I'm coming, too," Anya said. "We're watching miracles happen. I wouldn't miss this for the world."

"I don't have a choice," Dymphna said. "If I want my daughter and my people, I have to prove myself." She gave Líle a disgusted look. "And I'm not a coward."

"Fine," Líle said sourly. "I'll come, but it's on all of your consciences if it goes wrong."

"We should prepare," Arlen said. "I want to discuss the Hauntings some more with the Watcher."

We spent the rest of the morning getting ready to leave. The Wife gave us bundles of food.

"This is for you." She handed me a soft bundle.

"A cloak?" I asked, shaking out the fabric.

"It's a good cloak." She smiled at me. "You have more need for it than any of us."

"Thank you," I said, embarrassed. The material felt weighty and valuable.

"That's kind of you," Drake said. "I left her wet cloak back in the marshes."

"I noticed." the Wife took my hands. "It'll be a tough journey. Be sure your heart is in it." She went back to ordering the pixies about.

I joined Grim and helped him load Dubh. The strong faery horse could carry far more than the other horses.

"Don't forget your gifts from the Miacha," Grim said.

"I know." I leaned against Dubh. "Thanks, Grim. For offering to come with me. I don't know what I would do without you and Realtín."

He looked embarrassed. "There's never a need to thank us. You're the only family we have, Cara."

I carried on with the preparations, my heart overflowing.

That afternoon, we bid the Watcher and the Wife a warm goodbye. They had been good to us.

But as soon as we moved out of sight of their home, the atmosphere chilled. The wind was sharp and bitterly cold. Drizzle had begun to fall. The sun was more like the human version than the fae one—brighter, larger, more yellow. Despite the uneasiness in the air, I felt comforted by the familiar sun and a little excited that we were another step closer to the Fade. We followed the Watcher's directions until Dubh slowed, stamping his feet and shaking his head.

"I know it feels wrong," Grim whispered to the horse, "but this is how it has to be. We're going to the Fade, remember? It will all feel wrong from here on out."

Dubh kept moving, but I sensed his reluctance in the tension of his muscles beneath me. The other horses were restless, too, but they followed Dubh. Everyone looked worried as we left the Watcher's path and headed into the Hauntings. I had been expecting a forest or something similar, but instead, we entered a ghost town.

"These look like human buildings," I said. "From long ago. It could have come straight from the past."

"It likely has," Grim said.

But as we rode through the first section, the buildings shimmered and shifted until they were unrecognisable. Then they vanished altogether. I shivered as a cool wind blew around my shoulders. Dubh refused to walk any further.

I slipped off his back. "I'll try to lead him."

Bekind circled my ankles. I looked over my shoulder. The other horses were gone. Then, I realised my hand was gripping air instead of the reins.

"Fuck," I whispered. Dubh had disappeared, along with Grim and Realtín. "Bekind?" She was still by my feet.

Mist drew around us, making it hard to see. I heard voices on the wind, felt heat from a hot summer's day, and experienced an incredibly strong sense of fear.

A couple appeared in front of me. The woman had wings, but the man had none. They kissed passionately. Afterward, they turned and looked right through me as if startled then ran in the opposite direction. Were they shades? Those people whose memories lingered in the Hauntings? Would that happen to Brendan?

I turned in a circle, terrified that when another apparition appeared, it might be one of Brendan's memories. But how would I know?

Bekind mewled like a kitten. I picked her up to comfort both of us. She yowled loudly, leapt out of my arms, then ran until I couldn't see her anymore. The mist felt like prying hands on my skin. Gasping, I whirled around, sure I felt breath on my shoulder. The cloak the Wife had given me was gone. Looking down, I didn't recognise my clothing.

Something moved in my peripheral vision. I turned, expecting a misty vision, but a faery was curled up on the ground, tears rolling down her cheeks. She looked like a pixie, but her wings were torn, and her cheeks had been clawed to shreds. Her wounds seeped green and blue. Her wails cut right to my heart.

Swallowing hard, I hesitantly stepped over to her. "Can I... can I help you?"

She looked up at me, her clawed nails ripping the skin on her legs. "Kill me," she croaked. "Kill yourself before it's too late."

"You need to get out of here," I said. "If you come with me, I can—"

She screamed and yanked a clump of hair from her head. I winced, and she leapt at me, knocking us both to the ground.

"This is where the dreamers die." She let out a weird cackle then ran off, twirling in circles, her bloody arms outstretched.

"Holy fucking shit," I whispered, getting to my feet.

I had to find my friends before it was too late, before we lost ourselves in the memories, lost our minds, too. I moved through the mist. An umbrella appeared in my hand, and I found myself in a thunderstorm. The earth cracked open, and I felt a longing to jump into the abyss. With a shriek of alarm, I ran... out of that memory and right into another. A war in a dark land. Two armies stretched as far as I could see. A mountain of dead bodies lay between them.

Holding my breath against the stench of death, I closed my eyes and made my way out of the memory unharmed. I hurried, thinking I saw movement ahead. I found some trees and saw Drake wandering amongst them.

"Drake!" I started to run, but my feet refused to move.

Drake rushed over, his eyes wild with fear. He gathered me in his arms and kissed me passionately, but it wasn't his kiss.

"Stop it," I said, pulling away. "What's going on?"

"They're coming," he panted. "They're on their way. Somebody must have told them."

"Who's coming?" I looked around. We were in a grove of lemon trees. The scent of them filled the air.

"The guards," he said. "They've come to take me back. To use you up until you're worthless to me."

"Oh, shit," I whispered. "You're stuck in a memory."

He gripped my shoulders tightly. "We made a pact. The differences in our blood won't change that, my love. We'll die here and move on in peace. We'll be together."

There was a knife in his hand, determination in his eyes.

I slapped his face as hard as I could. "Drake, wake the fuck up!"

He looked at me fondly. "You're right. Death won't stop our love."

I stepped back and stumbled, tripping over something. Drake raised the knife, that same smile on his face. I rolled out of the way as he stabbed down. The knife got stuck in the tree trunk I had fallen over.

He left it and came after me, his arms outstretched. "It'll be over soon," he whispered, reaching toward my neck.

I kicked him in the crotch. He fell, but he scrambled after me on his knees, grabbing my ankle and pulling me down. He crawled on top of me and slipped his hands around my neck. Just as he cut off my air, he slumped, almost crushing me with his weight. I looked over his shoulder and saw Sorcha holding a tree branch.

"Please don't be stuck in a memory, too," I whispered.

She made a snort of disgust and rolled Drake off me. "As if. Death is my domain. The memories of the dead won't affect me much." She stared down at him. "He would have killed you. The strength here is unbelievable." She looked at me, seeming a little impressed. "And you didn't succumb, either. I thought I was about to deal with a Romeo and Juliet situation for a moment there."

"Give it time." I got to my feet. "Think he's okay?"

"I didn't hit him that hard. Hopefully, the memory will have played out by the time he regains consciousness. We'll have to find the others. They must be trapped, too. Maybe we should leave him here for a bit."

"We can't. He could wake at the bit where he commits suicide."

She frowned. "Help me drag him away from here then. When he wakes up, we'll be able to tell if he's still under the spell."

She grabbed his ankles while I held on to his wrists. We started dragging him across the ground.

"Oh, my God, how can such a skinny fae weigh a ton?" I asked.

"You have no strength," Sorcha said. "No matter how much that cowardly fae tries to make you strong, you will never be fae."

My cheeks flushed. "I don't want to be fae."

"Don't you?" She stopped walking and looked to the left. "Is that Arlen?"

Arlen stood a few metres away, a whirling mist surrounding him. He was swinging his sword out in every direction.

Sorcha laughed. "Gods help him, he's fighting a fog." She let go of Drake and cupped her hands around her mouth. "Arlen! It's not real!"

Arlen ducked a blow from some unseen enemy. He kept fighting, his sweat-drenched hair sticking to his forehead.

"Arlen, she's right!" I shouted. "It's just a memory. It can't hurt you." I looked at Sorcha. "Right?"

She shrugged. "Let it hit you, Arlen. Then you'll see."

He gave us one last wary glance before lowering his sword and closing his eyes. I held my breath, but nothing happened. The swirling mist kept moving, but Arlen seemed unhurt. He opened one eye, flinched, then frowned. He made his way over to us.

He stared at Drake and arched an eyebrow. "I thought you said it wouldn't hurt us."

"Oh, that was me," Sorcha said matter-of-factly. "He was trying to kill Cara. We have to find the others. Arlen, you stay with Drake. Cara and I will search for the rest. Try not to let Drake kill himself or anyone else when he wakes up."

"Duly noted," Arlen said, though he looked a little confused.

Sorcha and I stepped back into the mist.

# Chapter 15

"Will they be okay?" I asked, glancing over my shoulder. I couldn't see a thing through the thickening fog.

"Probably not. But we're not getting out of here without everyone else, and as I know _you're_ going to be the problem, you're coming with me to find them as quick as possible."

I looked down at myself, suddenly finding it hard to breathe. "What in the actual fuck am I wearing?"

She grinned. Her clothes hadn't changed. "You'll find that's a corset. You almost look as though you have a waist. We must be in another memory."

Something red flickered in the distance. "Realtín!" I called, running toward the light.

"What are you, crazy?" Sorcha demanded, grabbing my arm and pulling me to a halt. "Go easy. You don't know what's happening."

"It's Realtín. What's she gonna do, pelt me to death with tiny berries?"

She made a face and let go. "Fine, run to your doom. Save me the trouble of having to think of a way to bump you off."

"You're hilarious, banshee." But I walked alongside her. "It's a ball," I whispered as figures danced around me.

Sorcha stopped. "I think... I think this is a memory of an old queen. Is that Grim? Not really Grim, but a memory?"

It was. A ghostly queen kicked at him as she glared around her, arrogance plain in her expression. The real Realtín was in a panic, alternatively trying to yank the queen's hair and pull Grim to his feet. I ran to her, feeling the cool brush of dancing figures against my body. The music was deafening and the corset too tight.

"Come on!" I shouted at Sorcha, who made a face before running after me. I rushed over to Realtín and pulled her out of the air. "It's not real, Realtín. That's not Grim. It's just a memory. Those days are over."

She cried against my neck, pinching my skin in her grief. She had seen the old days, things she wanted to forget. And she had been separated from Grim, her strength. "It's so real," she whispered. "I hate it, Cara. I hate it here!"

"We found Arlen and Drake," I said. "We have to find the others to get out of here."

"Let's go," Sorcha said. "I like this memory less than the sprite does."

We hurried on. After a while, the corset disappeared, and I was back in my other clothes.

"Thank God," I said. "I was about to pass out."

"Quite the fashion for a time," Sorcha said. "The courts always had an obsession with mimicking human fashions, sometimes far later than they were popular in your world."

"Have you hit the '80s yet?" I asked. "I'm pretty sure it'll be impossible to respect a king with a mullet."

The landscape became a garden full of rose bushes—black petals all around.

"This looks familiar," I whispered.

"It's not the same," Sorcha murmured, but she sounded unconvinced.

We found the cat watching a small girl and boy play, chasing each other amongst the bushes. The girl had long golden hair. The raven-haired boy's face blurred, even in the memory. The boy caught the girl and swung her around in a circle. Their laughter travelled on the air.

A shadowy figure grabbed the boy and pulled him away. He reached out for the girl. The figures faded into the mist, leaving the little girl standing alone. A wispy black kitten attacked a rose bush. The girl picked up the kitten and wandered away.

"Bekind?" I whispered. "Whose memory is this?"

The cat came over and sat at my feet with her back to the memory. More secrets. Bekind was the biggest enigma in my life.

"We should... we should see if Arlen and Drake are okay," I said.

We headed back the way we had come. On the way, we found Anya kneeling beside a pond. Her shoulders shook with sobs. She had a baby in her arms. She kissed the baby's head before laying the child in the water. Horrified, I ran to her and pulled her out of the memory.

"Cara?" she whispered.

I looked back and saw a ghostly woman drowning the baby. I turned away again, feeling sick. We couldn't prevent the deeds because they had already been done. We were stuck in memories of long-forgotten souls.

"We need to get back," I said. "Are you okay?"

"Yes." She rubbed her cheek, frowning. "No. I feel like I've been stuck in a nightmare."

"You're okay. Sorcha's fine. We have Realtín and Bekind. Drake is back with Arlen. Let's go."

She linked her arm through mine. "No Líle?"

"We're missing Grim, Líle, and Dymphna. And the horses." I wanted to cry, thinking of Dubh.

Drake was conscious when we returned to Arlen.

"He has a headache, but otherwise he's fine," Arlen said. He looked at Anya. "Are you...?"

"I'll be okay," she said, moving closer to him. "It's strange out here."

I nodded. "It's weird. Some of us see the memories; some of us are a part of them. How do we stop that from happening again? How do we keep from losing each other?"

"Sticking close together, perhaps," Drake said. He didn't look well. "I'm so sorry, Cara. I remember..." He shook his head.

"Sorcha stopped you from doing anything," I said, but I felt a little uncomfortable, too. "We need to look for the others. And the horses. We'll never get home without them."

We walked in a group, all of us touching each other in an attempt to stay together. The mist grew denser, and soon it became difficult to breathe. If I looked closely, I could see figures in the mist, playing the roles the memories forced them into. The air thickened with tension and pain, grief and anger.

"This is a terrible place," Arlen said. "There's so much horror here."

"I saw a war," I said, desperate to get it off my chest. "A mountain of bodies. No wonder the way to the Fade is so easy to find. Only an idiot would walk into this mess."

I was interrupted by shouting. After a few steps, I heard the clang of swords meeting. We came upon a meadow, the mist swirling around our feet. In the centre, Líle and Dymphna were desperately trying to kill each other.

"Watch out," Arlen said. "Stay out of reach of their swords."

"They won't see us," Sorcha said. "They're in battle. We didn't exist in the memory. If we pull them apart, they might be torn from the memory."

"Carefully then," Drake said. "Arlen, help me with Dymphna."

We separated and rushed at the pair, carefully avoiding the swinging swords. While Arlen and Drake grabbed Dymphna, the rest of us tried to stop Líle. Her muscles bulged as she struggled to shake us off. She spat words at a misty figure in front of her. Bekind wound around her feet and helped us trip her up, wrenching her from the memory. Sorcha, Anya, and I fell heavily with Líle on top of us. I tried to cough, but I was too winded.

"What the...?" Líle said.

Laughing, Arlen helped her to her feet. I rolled over, feeling a little sick.

"Grim's not here!" Realtín screeched. "Where is he?"

"We'll find him," Drake said.

Anya and Sorcha stood, but I couldn't move. Drake helped me up, and I shoved at Líle.

"You big oaf," I choked out. "You couldn't just snap out of it like Dymphna did."

Líle looked at me in surprise. "What happened to you?"

"You squashed me," I snarled.

"She didn't know what she was doing," Sorcha said.

"Easy for you to say," I said. "She landed on me. And we need to find Grim before Realtín explodes into sprite confetti."

"Come," Drake said. "We need to hurry. This place... we need to get on."

"Where are the horses?" Dymphna asked.

We walked away as two duelling mist-figures killed each other.

"Maybe they're with Grim," Anya said hopefully.

"Grim was on Dubh," I said, recalling that with some relief. "They're probably on the other side, waiting for us."

"Probably," Realtín said shakily.

We passed more scenes of violence and despair. I tried not to look, but it was impossible to keep my eyes away. I glanced at Drake. He shrugged, but he appeared to be about as worried as I felt. We came to a cliff, and I froze, my mouth opening wide in horror. Grim stood at the edge, his arms outstretched.

"No!" I screamed.

There was no mist anymore. The cliff was real. Grim was in danger.

I ran toward him. Somebody pulled my arm to stop me. Realtín flew past. I thought she was trying to save Grim, but she curled around his neck, ready to fall with him. I brushed off whoever held me back and ran. As Grim toppled back, I leaped forward and managed to grip his ankle, but my wrist twisted painfully. I struggled to keep hold of him.

With a clatter of hooves, Dubh appeared out of nowhere. He stretched his neck over the precipice and chomped his teeth down on Grim's shirt. The horse helped me haul the brownie and sprite to safety. I backed us a little bit away, sat on the ground, and hugged them, tears running down my cheeks.

Somebody took the pair out of my arms, but I couldn't move. I was shaking too much. I looked over the cliff and sucked in a breath. The drop was about three stories, ending in an ocean. Waves crashed violently against the cliff, and as they ebbed, large rocks became visible. Looking down made me dizzy, so I raised my eyes.

I noticed the beach and a familiar-looking lighthouse. Some memory of my childhood sparked to life. I saw my brother and me running along the sand, looking for shells to decorate the sandcastle he had helped me build.

I pointed at the beach with a shaking hand. "I've been there. I'm so close to home."

Drake knelt next to me. "You can't go home that way. It's too dangerous."

I waved at the water. "But it's _right there_. The human realm is right there."

"The Watcher told us that the divide between realms was at its thinnest here."

"But we could bring Brendan that way. We could avoid going back through the Hauntings and the marshes and every other bloody horrible thing."

"The rocks," he said, pointing down. "And even if you survived the fall, you could get drawn out to sea, or worse, somewhere deeper into the fae realm. And this is too close to the Fade, Cara. Time is not what it seems here. You could get stuck in the past for all we know. It's not safe."

Feeling oddly homesick, I let him pull me to my feet and lead me back toward the others. Grim looked dazed. Realtín hadn't let go of him yet.

"Put them on Dubh," Sorcha said impatiently, "and let's get out of here."

Dubh led the way after that. The rest of us were too rattled to do anything but follow. Grim shook and shivered along with Realtín on the faery horse's back. I couldn't help looking back at the familiar sea that was so close, yet so far away. I wondered what my mother was doing, if Zoe had noticed I was gone, if anybody cared that Ronnie hadn't returned to work or if the world had changed at all because the faery realm had a new king. Anya wrapped an arm around my waist.

"Oh, for the love of—" Sorcha turned to face me, her eyes sparking with anger. "Switch it off!"

"What?" I asked, stunned.

"Stop feeling so miserable. You're infecting us all. Give it a rest."

"I didn't mean to—"

"Nobody cares. We're all stuck here. You're not the only one, but you're the one making the rest of us feel awful about it." To my surprise, her black eyes glittered with tears. "We don't need this, Cara."

"I'm sorry," I whispered. There was nothing else to say. The fae usually enjoyed my over-the-top emotions, even going so far as to try to provoke those kinds of reactions in me.

Drake walked on the other side of me, his hand in mine. I tried to bite down on my emotions and to rebuild my walls, but it was hard. In the fae realm, I felt more out of control than ever.

We exited the Hauntings. The horses were waiting beyond the mists and memories. We couldn't celebrate, though, remembering all the things we had seen and felt. We had tougher obstacles in front of us, and then we would have to brace ourselves for the Hauntings once more.

# Chapter 16

Beyond the Hauntings lay a deep, blood-red canyon. As we approached, the horses kicked up rust-coloured clouds.

"Where are we?" I whispered, awed by the sheer size. From our height, it appeared as though the crevices were engravings. Some kind of silver metal reflected through the maroon.

Bekind turned into her human form for the first time since the Watcher's home. "There's a cave below us, at the bottom. I was told it leads to the rift in the Fade." She moved closer to the edge. "If you look down, you'll see that the red rock turns black at the very foot. That area is closest to the rift, so it's the most obvious decay from the Fade. But that makes it our guide. We make it down there, and we're closer to the Fade."

"How do we reach it?" Arlen asked, looking wary.

I was wary, too. The height was dizzying when you looked over the ledge.

"We walk," Bekind said, "and climb in places. Once we reach the cave, we'll have to crawl through a tunnel of some kind." She looked at Arlen doubtfully. "I've no idea if you'll even fit."

"I'll fit," he said firmly. "So this is it? One more walk, a climb, and then we'll be inside the Fade?"

Bekind hesitated. "It's not quite that simple. There are sections to the Fade. Each one passes farther inward until you reach the Nether. The outer section is where the shades gather to protect the bridge to the Wall of Souls. Beyond that, I've no idea what trials we might face. But at the entrance, the fenris waits, forever guarding. If we manage to sneak in the back door, we might go unnoticed."

"So we've a real chance of survival," I said. "We can actually do this."

"If our luck holds out," Bekind said. "I can find the way, but we could lose each other. If that happens, you'll have to do it all yourself. You'll have to cross the bridge to the Wall of Souls, reach in, and call Brendan's name, declaring repayment of a life debt."

"We won't lose each other," I insisted.

"You've been holding out on us." Dymphna wagged a finger at Bekind. "This is the Frozen Valley, isn't it?"

Bekind flushed. "Technically."

"It doesn't look frozen to me," I said.

"It's what's inside that counts," Dymphna replied. "They say the red sand is dried blood from millions of souls encased under the dirt and that the god of death buried them alive to soak up their power. They're still in there, frozen in eternal life, their veins forever bleeding out to nourish the earth."

"Jesus," I whispered. "You people are so freaking morbid sometimes."

Dymphna smiled at me. "You did ask."

"The god of death. That's your thing, right, Sorcha? So we're cool here. No vengeful god's going to bury us or anything."

Sorcha's smile was grim. "Death doesn't always come from vengeance. We should move quickly. The wind is picking up. We don't want to get blown over the edge."

"The horses won't make it all the way," Bekind said. "But they'll take us at least some of the way. They'll have to stand guard and wait for us when we enter the cave."

"Let's hope we won't be in the cave for too long then," Drake said.

"We should move," Arlen said, gazing up at the sky. "I'm not looking forward to travelling in the Frozen Valley in daylight, never mind at night."

We rode along the cliff until Grim pointed out a trodden pathway that curved down into the valley. Dubh led the way, and the other horses followed, albeit reluctantly.

"You two can wait with the horses," I told Grim and Realtin.

They both shook their heads. "You might need us," Grim said.

The steep path seemed to go on forever. The ledge widened a bit, but the ground was more like sand than earth. Trickles of crimson liquid leaked from it in small rivulets.

When we reached the end of the path, Bekind peered down as a cat before transforming again. "The horses will have to wait here. We can break to eat then climb the rest of the way."

We sat on the ledge, our legs dangling over the side as we ate.

"Is it safe?" I asked. "The climb, I mean. Obviously the Fade is not so safe."

Drake shrugged. "It's the only way down."

Líle's hand shook as she put a piece of meat in her mouth. I worried about her, but I didn't know how to help.

"What happens inside the Fade?" I asked. "What if the shades come after us?"

"Then we run, you idiot," Sorcha said.

"And if someone gets left behind?"

"Then may the gods show them mercy." She sounded afraid. If a dealer in death was scared, I should be terrified.

"What if we can't find Brendan?" Anya asked in a small voice. "What if he's already lost to us?"

"Then we know we've risked our lives for nothing," Sorcha snapped. "Eat your food."

After we ate, we reluctantly began the descent. The red muddy earth didn't become black; it just darkened until it looked that way. As we climbed down, I tried not to look down, so I wouldn't think about how high up we were. My fingers sank into wet earth and came away red as blood. At first, it horrified me, but as they became stained with a berry colour, I tried to convince myself it was some kind of mineral or fruit—anything but the blood of millions. The terrain grew muddier and slipperier the more ground we covered.

The soil stuck to my fingers in clumps like damp, bloody sand, making it harder to grip. My foot slid off a rock, and I clutched at earth that came away in my grasp. With a scream, I fell, grabbing wildly at nothing. Arlen caught me as I skidded down past him and slammed me against the cliff wall. He held me there with one arm. The surface area was less stable than sand, and I feared we would both end up hurtling to the bottom.

"It's okay," he murmured. "I have you. Easy now. Hands first, get a firm hold. Good, Cara. Now your feet. A good grip, a little to your left. You're fine. You're not going to fall. It was bad luck, but I have you. Okay?"

I nodded, doing as he said even as I shook with fear. I knew I was safe with him there, but what if he missed me next time? Or worse, what if I dragged him down with me?

That experience shook everyone, and we moved more slowly. Bekind was already at the bottom, having jumped nimbly from tiny natural ledge to tinier natural ledge until she hit the base of the canyon.

Sweat ran down my back with every move. I heaved a sigh of relief when, finally, my feet hit solid-ish ground. I stood at the bottom to watch the last of our group descend. The end section was the steepest, and the more people who climbed down, the smoother the surface became. Soon, only Drake was left.

"Careful," I called. "We've made it way steeper, I think."

He was agile and made the climb look easy. But then a portion of the wall fell away, him along with it. I screamed, but he didn't panic. He half-turned and used his wings to slow his descent a little. His knee got skinned against a jagged rock and blood streamed down his leg. But when he reached the bottom, a triumphant grin was plastered on his face.

Then he took a step and crumpled. I reached out and caught him. His face had turned paler than usual, and beads of sweat stood out on his forehead.

"Dizzy," he said. "Think I hit my head." He rubbed the side of his head gingerly. His hand came away bloody. He gave me a wry smile. "There we go."

Dymphna moved to his other side, and we lowered him to the ground. I knelt next to him while Anya took a look at the wound.

"Nasty," she said. "But he'll be okay. Maybe he should stay here, though."

"No," Drake said. "Give me a minute. I'll be fine."

She did her best to clean the wound. She used the pinkish water from a nearby spring to avoid wasting our drinking water. Drake held my hand tightly as Anya worked.

"Ten minutes," Arlen warned. "Then we're going. If you can't stand..."

I searched in my bundle for one of the blue leaves that counteracted dizziness. For good measure, I gave him a leaf for pain, too.

"That's a lot better," he said when he swallowed them with water from a flask.

"I'll wait," I said. "I'll wait with you."

"I'm going," he said firmly. "I have to be there. With you."

I stared at him, unsure of where he was going with that statement. He reached up and cupped my face with a bloody hand. He mumbled something, but then his eyes closed, and he slept.

"No," I said. "Wake up. You can't sleep when you've hurt your head." I patted his cheek.

He blinked dazedly a couple of times. Anya tried to force more water into him. I got to my feet and went over to the others.

"You've got blood on you," Arlen said, pointing at my cheek.

"He can't come with us," I whispered. "So I think Anya should stay with him to take care of him. They're both here. Brendan will know they both helped. But they'll be safe out here. We can't have two kings lost in the Fade, and Anya..." I looked at them pleadingly.

Dymphna wiped the blood from my cheek with her sleeve. "Good idea."

"Fine," Sorcha said. "Let's just get this over and done with."

"I'll explain it to Anya," Arlen said and went over to where Drake lay.

The rest of us wandered over to the cave. I looked inside.

"It's dark." I picked the clay from my hands as an excuse to look away from the darkness. "Darker than I expected."

"I'll light the way," Realtín said. "That's what I was bred for."

I looked at her, surprised by her tone.

"You won't fall," she said. "We won't let you fall. It'll all be over soon."

I glanced back at Drake. His wound wasn't too bad. It had just taken a lot out of him. He would be fine by the time we returned. Hopefully, we would return.

Arlen joined us again, his lips tight together.

"Realtín," Líle said. "You'll need to go first." She looked at the cat. "You and Bekind need to make sure there's a way down."

"Then me," Grim said. "I'm good at climbing."

I couldn't contain my groan. "More climbing."

"I'll go next," Dymphna said. "I've no fear of the dark. Perhaps Cara could come after me, then Arlen, Sorcha, and Líle. Maybe we could use rope this time. Just in case."

Arlen nodded, looking me up and down. "The last climb was trickier than it looked, so that might be best, especially in the dark. If anyone feels as though they might fall, call out immediately to give the rest of us a chance to hold on and be ready."

"The spring goes into the cave," Grim said. "It will be slippery." He looked down. "Maybe it would be better to lower the weaker climbers down with rope."

I left them to argue it out and went to check on Drake one more time. I stood over him and said his name.

He opened his eyes slowly. "Don't go," he said. "Stay here. Or wait. Don't go in there." He must have forgotten that we needed someone with a connection to Brendan to pull him through.

"I won't be long," I said cheerily. I reached out and hugged Anya. "I promise."

She looked at me pityingly. "I'll say goodbye to Líle before you go."

She left us alone. I knelt in the red mud next to Drake.

"Things are going to change," he murmured. "Everything will change when he comes back."

"Not everything," I said. "Some things will stay exactly the same."

He let out an uneasy laugh. "I'd make you promise, but I can't."

"I have to go."

"I know. Say goodbye to me, Cara."

"No. See you in a bit." I kissed his cheek and left him there.

When I joined the others, they had come up with a mixed solution. I wasn't convinced it would work, but I didn't have any better ideas. Arlen stayed above ground, holding on to a hunk of rope. We were all to climb down one at a time, ready to grab the rope if we got into trouble.

"But what if _you_ fall?" I asked Arlen.

He gave me a rare smile. "Then you all will have to catch me. Okay. Realtín and Bekind, you're up. Grim, be ready."

The sprite kissed Grim and then me before darting into the chasm. The cat followed. Realtín's golden light shone from the chasm. We all peered down, eager to see what was down there. I couldn't see the bottom. My heart practically rattled my ribcage.

Realtín soon returned. "It's farther down than we imagined," she said. "The rope isn't long enough, but it'll have to do. The wall is slimy, but there are ledges. Bekind made it down easily. Grim will, too." She glanced at me. "Not so sure about the rest of you."

I was so pissed at being expected to fail by just about everyone in the group that I grew determined not to fall. I didn't even want to need the rope.

Grim approached the rim. He rubbed his hands together as Arlen lowered the rope.

I squeezed Grim's shoulder. "Careful in there."

Realtín lit the way, and Grim began the descent. We watched, holding our breaths, as he climbed like a monkey, moving quicker than I thought possible. It took way too long for him to reach the bottom, though.

Realtín flew back up minutes later. "He made it!"

"My turn," Dymphna said grimly. Cracking her knuckles, she peered down. "I'll see you all at the bottom." She started her climb.

She was about halfway down when the rope was yanked on with such force that Arlen almost fell into the chasm. Líle grabbed him while Sorcha and I clutched the rope. The rough line burned my hands when it slipped through my fingers a little bit, but I held on with everything I had. Suddenly, it stopped moving, though it remained taut. We held still, terrified, until the rope gained some slack again.

I looked at Líle. "What the fuck?"

"She must be okay," she said, trembling. "She has to be okay."

Minutes later, Realtín flew out. "The rock came away under her feet, and she fell. She managed to grab the rope with one hand, but it took her a while to get her balance back. Her hands are bloodied, but she's okay. She jumped the rest of the way rather than put her hands through any more stress."

"Shit," I said. "If the daoine sídhe had trouble, what the fuck chance do I have?"

"The same as everyone else," Arlen said firmly.

Líle ran from the cave, doubled over, and vomited.

"She's not going to make it," Sorcha said. "Arlen, do something."

"Like what, whip her?" he asked sarcastically.

"If she can hold the rope," I said, "she could stay here and wait for us. She hasn't been herself since the marshes, and the Hauntings just made it worse."

Arlen nodded. "You're right." When Líle returned, he handed her the rope. "Can I rely on you?"

She took the rope, but she looked miserable. She was a ghost of the faery I had first met.

"You're next," Arlen told me.

I wrapped my robe around my waist, tying it in place. I put one leg over the rim and almost fell.

Arlen grabbed my hand, steadying me. "Calm down. You're your own worst enemy sometimes. Don't overthink it."

Nodding, I let go and eased my legs down into the chasm. Realtín lit the way as I climbed. The cave was larger than I thought—wider, deeper, and more dangerous. Sweat rolled down my back as a vision of me falling flashed before my eyes.

"One step at a time," I whispered, easing my way down, making sure the rope was within sight at all times. I tested each step, learning from what had happened to Dymphna. I would take longer than anyone else, but I wasn't taking any unnecessary risks—well, aside from wandering into the Fade in the first place.

Water trickled down the rock face, making it slippery. An occasional drop flew into my eyes, but I couldn't risk wiping them. My fingers were cold and began to grow numb, but I ignored that.

I didn't worry about how long it took, how much I had climbed, or how much farther I had to go. I concentrated on taking one step at a time. One foot, one hand. My legs and arms began to shake from exhaustion. I made a mental note to add more weights into my cardio sessions.

I finally saw the end of the rope, and Dymphna shouted my name with happiness. I kept climbing, kept focusing. Then warm hands gripped my waist and someone lifted me to safety.

"Holy shit," I whispered. "I fucking did it." I hugged Dymphna, who laughed exuberantly.

Realtín flew around my head. "I have to go back," she said and disappeared, leaving us in relative darkness.

Grim squeezed my hand. "You'll get used to it. Your eyes will adjust in a minute."

Eventually, I noticed a green glow casting the cave with an eerie light. "We're almost there," I said. "We're actually going into the Fade."

"Let's hope we live to tell the tale," Dymphna replied.

I felt guilty then. "Your daughter. Surely you don't have to come into the Fade with us. You could just escort us back, you know?"

"I'm here now," she said. "I made it this far. Eithne will be raised with pride in her mother."

I glanced at Grim, but he shook his head.

"You're going to make it back to her," I said.

"They might not allow me to see her." Her voice was thick with grief. "I gave her up to keep her safe and may have lost her forever."

"They wouldn't."

"They can do what they want. They're giants," she said bitterly.

"So are you. So is she. And you have the favour of kings, right? That has to count for something."

She blinked. "I can only hope. That's if we make it back at all."

I swallowed hard as I stared up at the golden light high above us. Sorcha began her descent. She came down quickly, looking pleased with herself.

Arlen was last. He didn't need the rope, either. Líle shouted something incomprehensible down to us. I chose to believe it was a good luck rather than a goodbye forever.

"Drake's feeling a lot better," Arlen said. "But this is for the best."

"This is it," Arlen said. "The last step."

"We still have to make it home," Sorcha responded, but she sounded excited.

Bekind came trotting back. She mewled for us to follow. We all went, ready and eager to enter the Fade, where Brendan would be waiting, and the shades and fenris wouldn't.

I suddenly realised I had never asked what a fenris was. I decided I didn't need to know.

# Chapter 17

As we made our way to the back of the cave, the green glow brightened. The cave was larger than I first thought, more like a tunnel. The ceiling lowered until Arlen and Dymphna had to bend their heads to fit.

"Are you sure this is the way, Bekind?" I whispered as I had to duck under a stalactite. My voice echoed, then creepy hissing sounded. For all I knew, some creature was mocking me in the dark. I swallowed hard at that thought.

The cat gave a little growl in answer. The growl echoed, too.

I slipped on a wet rock and had to grab Arlen to stay on my feet. "Shit," I muttered. "I'm like a fucking clown in the faery realm."

"That's why we keep you around," Sorcha said in a snide whisper. "To entertain us all the live long day."

"Shut up."

"Quiet!" The echoes of Dymphna's word thundered around us.

Bekind transformed. Her hair shone, highlighted by Realtín's rays. "We need to be quiet. There is the gap we must pass through. It's a rift, and it's not something that can be sealed, so we'll return this way, too. If we make a noise, we'll alert the shades. We can't fight the shades. We would die, or worse, we'd be trapped in the Fade forever. You must follow my lead without a word."

"What if we're attacked?" Arlen asked.

"Fight for your life and hope you die with honour," she replied solemnly. "Cara, stay close to me. Now that Drake is gone, you're our best hope at returning Brendan to this world. Do you understand?"

I nodded, although I didn't get why I was any better a connection to Brendan than Arlen or Sorcha. What I did understand was that there was little chance we would make it and that I might never see Drake or Brendan again.

The light had been coming from a small gap in the rocky ground. We gathered for a better look. The light swirled and glowed, casting everyone's faces with jade-coloured overlays.

"Please stay here," I begged Grim and Realtín. "We can't separate you, and we need someone to stay to pull us back through. Just in case. We also need someone to tell the others if there's trouble."

"I agree. The smaller the group, the less likely we are to be caught," Sorcha said. "Grim is a decent climber, and Realtín is our light. We can't afford to lose either of them, so they should both stay here."

I wanted to kiss the banshee.

"I hadn't thought of that," Arlen said. "We can't risk losing our light. Grim, guard her well while we're gone."

"Okay," Realtín said. "We'll stay where we're needed." Poor Grim didn't even get the chance to argue.

The rest of us knelt in silence, staring at that stupid rift for a long time.

"Screw it," I said. "I'll go first."

Bekind, back in cat form, spat at me then slipped through the gap before I could make a move. The rock expanded, then the hole sucked her out of sight. I immediately put my legs through and jumped. The magic pressed against my body, squeezing.

When I landed, I could barely see two feet in front of me. A wind whirled, but there was no dust, no dirt. The air felt different, probably because it wasn't really air at all. I licked my lips, but my tongue felt dry. Somebody slipped down beside me, but I was too busy trying to get my bearings to see which of my group it was.

My feet were flat against a surface, but I felt as though I was spinning, as if my insides were rotating. My eyes couldn't understand what they saw. The Fade wasn't a place. It was a feeling, an atmosphere. The cat looked blurred. I was tempted to touch her just to see if she still existed, but I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

Bekind had said we would enter the outermost section of the Fade. We needed to find our way inward without drawing attention to ourselves.

When everyone had passed through the gap, Arlen took my hand. I glanced at him, grateful to have him next to me. He was sturdy and strong, and Brendan trusted him. We all linked hands in a chain, and followed Bekind.

Walking made me feel as if I were pushing against some immoveable force, as though gravity didn't function in the same way. Instead of just holding my feet to the ground, the force held me back, keeping me out of the Fade and away from the shades and souls and whatever else was there. We didn't belong, and the atmosphere around us knew it.

We were hidden in shadow, drifting in a wasteland. My companions wavered in and out of sight. Darkness came suddenly then shifted into light just as quickly. My fingers tightened, desperate to hold onto someone in a place where life didn't exist. Being around the fae often made me feel intoxicated, but being in the Fade was like drifting from my body, my soul slipping away. Something pulled at me, tugging at something within. I grew terrified I would lose a piece of myself.

Voices echoed, but I couldn't make out the words or figure out where the sounds were coming from. I was sure my heart wasn't beating. We were in a gap in time, a snapshot of something we weren't supposed to see. I blinked, feeling as though something was in my eye. I wanted to cry, but there was no moisture. Maybe it was all being sucked away, lost to the atmosphere.

I glanced behind me at Dymphna. Horror stood clear in her eyes. The place was unnatural, and we had volunteered to come.

The hair on Bekind's back stood up straight, her fur stretching outward to make her look like a fuzzy ball of psycho. She fled to the left and disappeared. Arlen followed, pulling us along with him. He gathered us all into some kind of alcove where Bekind was waiting. I couldn't even make out what was around us, but we were hidden. Dark shadows drifted past. Shades, probably. Maybe something else. It didn't matter. I couldn't ask a question or even make a sound. I was frozen in fear.

After a couple of minutes, Bekind left the alcove. Except it wasn't a minute, or even two, because there was no time. My head felt as if it would explode and shatter without a sound. I would be lost, and nothing would know or care because I had never existed after all.

I fervently hoped my brother's soul wasn't lost in such a place, that he wasn't wandering, his memories stuck in the Hauntings. I hoped he was at peace.

I choked on a sob, my emotions throwing me out of whack. The others turned to stare at me. I shook my head, upping my pace. I couldn't feel my legs moving, but the scenery was changing slightly, growing more vibrant and erratic. The sight gave me a headache. All I saw was green. Even my hands looked green on the odd occasion that I could actually make them out.

Finally, Bekind stopped moving and shifted into her human form. She covered her lips with a finger, glaring at us. She beckoned me forward and put an arm around my shoulders. As we walked ahead of the others, she murmured the instructions.

"You have to do it. You'll understand later, but it has to be you. If you can't do it, we've wasted this whole journey. Put your hands through and call his name. Say you're repaying a life debt. He should take your hands, and you'll pull him free. Understand?"

I nodded, but I was terrified. What if I couldn't do it? What if he didn't take my hands? What if it all went wrong?

We came to a long narrow bridge. On either side, the surface rippled like water. In the distance, I thought I saw a hand reach upward.

"Across here is the Wall of Souls," Bekind said.

I couldn't see it yet, but I knew the wall stopped souls from passing through. If the souls managed to get past it, the shades would hunt them down. It was a good system. Except for the rift and the fact _we_ had made it to the bridge.

Bekind turned to the others. "There isn't room for all of us. You all need to stand guard. When he passes through, the shades might know and come for him."

"We'll make sure you have time to do what's needed," Arlen said.

Bekind took my hand and pulled me across the bridge. The mist rolled around us, making it hard to see. I was concentrating so hard on staying on the bridge that I didn't even realise when we reached the end.

"Here it is," she said, sounding awestruck. "The Wall of Souls. Whatever you do, don't make a sound apart from what I told you. If you scream, we are lost."

I took a deep breath, even though we weren't breathing anymore. The normality of the action helped settle me. I stepped off the bridge and stared up at the Wall of Souls. Its surface was smoky looking and untouched by the green haze. I glanced over my shoulder, but I couldn't see the others anymore. The water, if it could be called that, stretched forever, making the wall look as though it stood in the middle of nowhere.

I held up my shaking hands and held them just before the wall, barely touching the smoke. A spark pricked at my fingers, and something tugged at my soul again. The sensation was more urgent. I could lose myself. I wanted to ask Bekind about it, but I was afraid I wouldn't go through with it if she confirmed that the wall could actually rip my soul from my body.

I slipped my hands through the smoke before I could think about it anymore, wriggling my fingers to make sure they were still there. I could see mist moving rapidly behind the veil, making way for the intrusion, but I could barely make out my hands.

"Brendan," I whispered. "Come here and let me pay back a life debt."

Nothing happened. I looked anxiously at Bekind.

"Say it again," she whispered.

I did, adding a pleading "please" at the end. Something soft brushed against my fingertips. Then I felt two weak hands take mine. The grip strengthened. The hands were larger than mine. A figure formed behind the veil. I could almost make out the features.

"Now," Bekind gasped. "Now! Pull him through!"

I held tight and yanked hard, falling backward. The figure fell through, landing right on top of me.

I lay there and looked up into the striking green eyes of a stranger with red-gold wavy hair and a scar across his forehead. He let go of my hand and brushed my fringe away from my face. His smile was weak, questioning.

"Cara?" His voice was deeper than I expected, resonant with power. He was okay. He was back. We had done it. We had saved him. Or at least, were in the process of saving him. "I can't believe... _you_ came for me."

"We all did. Drake and the others are outside waiting," I whispered. "He was hurt. He couldn't climb down."

"Climb?"

"Brendan," I murmured, "please get off me."

With an easy grin I both recognised and didn't, he got to his feet and helped me up. Bekind pulled me aside as Brendan stretched his arms and looked around in confusion. She looked a little ill.

"Are you okay?" I asked her.

"Cara," she said, "I'm so sorry."

I frowned. "For what?"

She shoved me toward the wall, saying, "Donella, take my debt and consider it done."

My hands clutched at nothing. I was falling backward, deeper into the Fade. I screamed in terror. A howl roared somewhere far away. I tried to catch myself, to regain my balance, but strong arms wrapped around my waist and held on tight, pulling me through the Wall of Souls. I was going to be lost in the Fade forever.

Caught between two places, I was pulled in both directions at once, sinking even as Bekind and Brendan gripped my hands. Then I was back on the bridge side with Bekind and Brendan.

And one other soul.

When everyone released me, I sat down, my legs no longer unable to support me.

"What did you do?" I asked Bekind. "What did you do?"

"Nella?" Brendan said, appearing shocked.

I looked up. A tall, slim woman with dark hair stood next to me, staring at her hands as if she had never seen them before.

"Later," Bekind said. "I promise, Cara. I'll explain everything later."

She hauled me to my feet. "We have to run."

We made it safely across the bridge, but the atmosphere was changing. I couldn't pinpoint how, but it made me wary. Brendan greeted the others with a lightness I had forgotten how to feel. He and Sorcha faced each other.

"Consider my debts paid," she said, but she didn't look happy about it.

All eyes were on Nella, the Wall of Souls castaway. The howl rose up again.

"The fenris," Dymphna said. "We must leave now. The shades are already closing in. Hurry."

The cat led the way. Arlen passed a sword to Brendan as we ran. I grabbed the dagger from my waistband and held it in a firm grip. The green haze was lifting, making everything look more real. But reality was dangerous. I didn't know if we could fight a shade, but I wanted to be ready just in case.

The shades closed in from every direction. They were dark monstrous-looking beings. Their faces were covered, but their hands were skeletal. They held no weapons, but they tried to grab us, and I knew they wanted to keep us with them in the Fade forever. I pressed forward with the others, struggling to keep out of the reach of those clawing fingers. Brendan swung his sword, but it cut through the air as if the shades were made of mist.

The howl came closer.

"The fenris," Sorcha whispered, sounding horrified.

The shades fled, apparently just as terrified by the fenris as we were. We struggled to run faster, but the ground sucked at our feet. A roar came from right behind us. Sorcha tripped and fell, her eyes wide with fear. I grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet. Brendan helped, gripping her other arm and striking out at the fenris as we fled away. When we made it back to the gap, Arlen shoved Brendan through first. The others piled through the opening.

I was last. The fenris appeared and breathed fire in my direction. The giant winged creature had long scraggly hair and looked like a wolf born of a dragon. It opened its maw and roared. The steam from its breath singed my skin.

I backed up against the gap, unable to turn around and climb as the fenris bore down on me. Hands reached through the rift as the fenris swiped at me with a huge clawed paw. As the hands pulled me through, a claw caught my calf. I stabbed the massive paw.

Then, I was in the cave. I scrambled away from the gap in a hurry. The fenris swung its paw again, slashing through the gap, but we were all out of reach. I doubted it could leave the Fade.

We breathed a collective sigh of relief as it howled its indignation at losing its prey. I gazed at my dagger. The fenris's blood had burned into the metal, creating a curious design. If ever there was a souvenir...

Brendan helped me to my feet. The woman who had come through the Wall of Souls was already climbing out of the cave, helped by the rope. Realtín refused to fly up with her to give her light. The woman obviously didn't care.

I limped over and stared up at her. "I take it that's the leanan sídhe."

"I'm afraid so," Brendan said. "You're bleeding. Let me see."

"It's fine," I said as Realtín's light turned red with concern.

"We should clean it," Grim said.

I held up my hands. "It can wait. We need to get out of this bloody cave."

King Brendan performed a dramatic twirl. "And what do you think of my true body, Cara?"

"I'm sure you're very proud," I said drily.

"I feel like a warrior," he said, sounding absolutely full of himself.

I stared upward with a sigh. I wasn't looking forward to the climb.

"I'll help you," he offered, seeing my reluctance to take my turn.

"You just got out of the Fade."

"I feel good," he said. "Renewed. Born once again." He picked me up and swung me around. "Thanks to all of you."

"We're regretting it already," I said, manoeuvring out of his arms with a smile I couldn't hide. I had missed him. There was some kind of magical connection between Drake and me, but with Brendan, there was something fun and light.

"You look pale," he said. "You all do. What have you been through?"

"Everything," I whispered, watching Arlen climb up after the leanan sídhe. "We've been through everything."

# Chapter 18

When I climbed out of the cave, the tension and suspicion was palpable. Bekind sat on a rock, her tail moving rapidly as she stared at my ancestor.

Brendan emerged from the hole, and I got my first good look at him. He had once told me there was giant blood in his veins, but I had laughed it off as an exaggeration. He was _tall_! And broad. And hunky. He was completely different from Drake. And with Drake looking so frail from blood loss, Brendan looked every inch the king in comparison.

"So, Nella," Brendan said, "you're back."

"As are you," she replied.

Her hair was long and black, but she looked nothing like me. I couldn't believe she had somehow spawned my bloodline. Her face had a permanent sour expression, and I wasn't sure what to make of her.

She gave me a scornful look. "And this is _it_. Bekind," she said to the cat. "Is this the best you could do?"

Brendan approached Drake, who struggled to get to his feet. They stood face to face, neither of them smiling.

"Did they brand you?" Brendan asked.

"They did," Drake replied.

Brendan heaved a sigh of relief. "Good. I feared you wouldn't step up."

"I would never let Sadler have that throne," Drake said fiercely.

The leanan sídhe looked at him with interest.

Brendan held out his hand. "And you came for me."

Drake glanced at me and shrugged, but he took Brendan's hand and shook it briefly. "You know how it is."

"I thank you nonetheless."

"What happens now?" Drake asked.

Brendan whipped off his shirt. I pulled my hood a little tighter to hide my reaction. On his back was a brand identical to Drake's. Two kings. Brendan looked over his shoulder. The tension in his jaw relaxed when he saw that he was still branded.

"This is the body of a king." Brendan bent his head. "There are two of us now. We have a lot to discuss, it seems."

"First, we have to make it out of here," Dymphna said. "No time for kingly discussions on the road out of the Fade. No time for pledges of fealty, either."

Brendan looked around, frowning. "What is this place?"

"The Frozen Valley," Arlen answered. "There's a rift in the Fade here. That's how we got to you. Bekind led the way."

"Bekind?" Brendan said. "And I suppose she's responsible for Nella's presence, too."

Nella snorted. "And it took her long enough."

"You tricked your way out of the Fade," I said. "You don't belong here."

"I _belong_!" she shouted, whirling around to face me. "Sadler cut me out of the world to put me in my place and teach me a lesson. I'll suffer no man to tell me where I should stand. All I needed was a descendent to come and get me. That's all dear Bekind had to do, but she waited until the blood was so diluted that _this_ is what came."

She gave me a disgusted look. But if she needed a descendant, then how had I managed to break Brendan free? I wasn't a descendant of his.

"The Hauntings," Líle said. "We have to pass through the Hauntings again. And I'm not sharing my horse with that... that _creature_." She glared at Nella.

"As if I'm going to ride with a servant," the leanan sídhe said, seeming shocked. "What has happened to the world since I left?"

"Many, many things," Brendan said. He pointed up at the horses. "I'll ride the black one."

"Uh, no," I said. "That's my horse. _Our_ horse. Me, Bekind, Grim, and Realtín. Bekind got it for us."

"You mean Bekind got it for _me_ ," Nella said with a smirk. "That's _my_ horse. That's Dubh."

I squeezed my eyes shut. I was going to kill Bekind.

"We'll sort out the mounts when we make it up there," Arlen said, already sounding sick to death of us all. "Let's make the climb first. It won't be any easier this time. Líle, stay next to Drake in case he gets lightheaded."

We climbed in small groups in case anyone caused a landslide. I was in the first group with Brendan and Anya. He stayed below us at all times as if ready to catch us. I wasn't sure I liked having him that close, but I couldn't really do anything about it. The liquid flowed more steadily, as if the earth were weeping because the Fade had lost a couple of souls. The ascent was easier than the climb in the cave, but my limbs were exhausted. I paused midway to wipe my face with my sleeve.

"It's not far now," Brendan said. "Keep moving, Cara."

"I'm tired," I whispered. "I've been climbing all day. And my leg fucking hurts."

He looked at my calf. "We have to clean that up. It will fester if we don't do something."

"It's okay," I said. "The Miacha gave me some stuff to help."

"The Miacha?"

I grinned down at him. "I told you. We've been through a lot."

"Apparently, you—"

Anya slid down with a frightened scream. Without taking his eyes off me, Brendan reached out and grabbed her, pressing her to the rock wall.

"Show off," I scoffed, moving away from them. I was determined to make it up first. I had to beat the fae at _something_.

When I got to the top, I headed straight to Dubh. "Oh, Dubh." I rubbed his face as he nuzzled me. "The stupid leanan sídhe is back and wants to take you away from us."

He sneezed on me. I laughed and leaned against him. Bekind came from out of nowhere to join us. She leapt onto Dubh's back and purred, trying to bat her head against me.

"I'm so mad at you, Bekind," I whispered. "How could you push me into the Fade like that? Use me to free the leanan sídhe? You know what the worst part is? If you had just told me, I probably would have helped you. You didn't have to do it like that."

She mewled pathetically, rubbing her cheek against my shoulder.

"Just answer one question," I said. "Am I related to Brendan? Because if—"

She bit my shoulder. I hoped that was a no because I didn't have time to ask for clarification. Dubh stomped his feet as Brendan and Anya appeared.

She wrapped her arms around me, panting. "I hate climbing," she said. "Never, ever again."

"I don't think any of us would volunteer for this journey twice," I said, pressing my forehead against the bronze-skinned pixie's. "I'm officially exhausted."

Brendan took a good look at Dubh, then his gaze fell on Bekind. "You can't stay a cat forever, you little sneak."

She hissed at him.

"What happened down there?" Anya asked.

Brendan quickly explained the leanan sídhe situation. I stepped away to watch the others climb. Sorcha and Nella fell into a whispered discussion. They both looked up at me as one. I glared back, refusing to be intimidated.

Brendan moved behind me, too close. "How did you do it? How did you persuade them all to come for me?"

"I didn't." I shrugged. "Bekind offered to show me the way. We set off with Grim and Realtín. The horse, and the others, came later. I didn't do anything."

"You did something incredibly stupid."

I turned and pushed Brendan back to give me space. I couldn't get used to his size. "I thought you were joking about the giant's blood."

He laughed, his green eyes twinkling. "I can't tell if that's a good or a bad thing."

I frowned. Neither could I. "So what are you going to do when we get back?"

"Establish myself as king." He hesitated. "As another king. We both have a claim now. More than a claim. We're both branded."

"So no war."

"The last thing the fae need is a war." He grabbed my arm, his demeanour instantly changing. "Does Drake intend to fight me?"

I shook my head. "Not you. And, ow."

He let go, immediately apologetic. "I'm not used to... my old self. You said not me. But Sadler?"

I nodded.

"I'll do what I can to keep peace. Sadler has many supporters."

Grim and Realtín reached us, looking happier than they had in a while. Líle and Drake soon followed, leaving the final four to ascend. Neither Líle nor Drake looked well.

"You okay?" I asked Líle, but I kept my eyes on Drake. I couldn't read his expression. I wondered if he had hoped Brendan would never return, despite the journey.

"I'll be better when we're home," Líle said, staying as far away from the edge as possible.

"The leanan sídhe will cause problems," Brendan told Drake.

"She's the least of my worries," Drake replied. "How do you feel?"

Brendan grinned. "Different. Free. No longer trapped. And I'm glad to lose the wings. I could never get used to them."

Drake laughed. "I remember. Do you feel... powerful?"

"I don't have the power of the throne," Brendan said sourly. "Nor the power of fealty. You best me on that until we return."

Drake nodded, looking nonplussed. "The daoine sídhe are taking care of the realm, thanks to Dymphna. But it's best we get back as quickly as possible to sort out the confusion."

"Of course," Brendan said.

"You'll have to ride with the leanan sídhe on Dubh," Drake said, looking at the horses. "The horses are so exhausted by now that he's probably the only horse you won't kill with your weight. Anya will be with Arlen, Grim and Realtín can go with Líle, Sorcha with Dymphna, and Cara with me. Bekind can run or ride with Cara and me. Or you and the leanan sídhe."

"I don't relish the journey," Brendan said. "Nella and I never got along."

"Well, she's insisting Dubh belongs to her, so we have little choice."

Finally, everyone had made it to the top. We broke off into smaller groups.

"We should get out of the canyon," Arlen said. "Then rest and check supplies before we reach the Hauntings."

"Good idea," Drake said. "We'll need our strength to make that journey again."

Nella approached Dubh with a smile. "My horse. Waited for me, did you?"

She reached up to stroke his face, but he bit her wrist, breaking the skin and drawing blood.

"You little bastard!" She kicked at him, and he reared up until she drew back, shaking with anger and maybe a little fear. "You were always a disobedient monster." She looked at me. "You're welcome to him. When we return, I'll have him turned into dog food."

"No, you won't." I hurried over to Dubh, full of glee. He settled down immediately. I wanted to point at the leanan sídhe and laugh.

"I'll buy him from you," Brendan said. "I like a bit of fire."

"Take him," she snapped as Sorcha tried to stem the bleeding. "Get him out of my sight."

"Guess you're riding with me," Brendan told me with a grin. "Sorry, Drake. You're stuck with the leanan sídhe. Remember, Nella, he's a king. Try to treat him with a little respect."

She muttered something incomprehensible. I made to climb on Dubh's back only to feel Brendan's hands on my hips.

I threw him a scornful look. "I'm capable of getting on the horse, Brendan."

"He's a big horse."

"I've been riding him for the entire trip. I'm in charge, king or no."

I climbed onto Dubh, ignoring Brendan's laughter. He mounted behind me after I forbid him from getting on in front and blocking my view.

We were the first to set off. I did my best not to move too much, but as Dubh made his ascent, I slid back against Brendan, who wrapped an arm around my waist. "Relax," he said, gently taking hold of the reins. "I'll control the horse. You just get comfortable."

"If you keep annoying me, I'm walking."

"Your loss."

"And I can hold the reins." I pulled them out of his hands, but he laughed as if he didn't care. "Shut up, Brendan."

Bekind leapt in front of me and sat there, staring up at me.

"Don't give me that look," I said. "You've gone out of your way to make me hate you. Don't think I want to make friends already."

Bekind purred and rubbed her head against my hand. After a moment, she leapt down again.

"Looks like things have gotten interesting in my absence," Brendan murmured. "Last time I saw you on a faerie horse, you were too afraid to open your eyes."

"Dubh isn't trying to drag me under the sea, so there's a difference."

"And you and Drake?"

"Oh, don't start."

"I asked a simple question."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Hmm. That sounds interesting, too."

"Well, it's not, so... stop."

The rest of the journey on the winding upward path was tense. There was no laughter or chatter. The new additions had changed everything. Our hands, feet, and clothes were stained red. Away from the canyon, I could tell myself it wasn't blood, but sometimes I could have sworn I heard a moan of pain coming from the earth itself.

We made camp at the top of the canyon to clean up wounds, attend to injuries, and eat a little. Sorcha and Nella wandered away under the pretence of gathering wood. I was sure they were up to something. Grim built a fire. The rest of the group looked exhausted, and Drake lay down and fell asleep almost instantly. Most of us had cuts and bruises at the very least. Anya cleaned the wound on my calf.

She winced. "It looks painful, Cara."

"Something to remember you all by."

"For a moment, I thought you would never return," Anya said. "If Líle hadn't been there, I might have panicked."

I glanced at Líle. She was staring into the distance, her forehead creased with worry. The sooner we made it back, the better. I knew she was worried about the Hauntings, but it was our only way back.

I rummaged through the bundle for the rest of the Miacha's wares. I separated the leaves into piles. "This is for infections. This is for pain." We were almost out of pain leaves. I yawned loudly.

When the food was ready, I ate a little. Afterward, I felt sick, so I gathered my robe around me and lay down on a pallet.

A while later, nausea woke me, and I barely made it out of camp before retching behind a rock. Stomach empty, I wiped my mouth. I still felt sweaty and faint. I sat on the other side of the rock and leaned my head against it.

Brendan came around the side and held out a cup of water. "Here."

I took the cup and drank deeply. I heard noises. The entire camp was stirring. I groaned. Nothing could ever be secret. Once I was sure my stomach would hold the water, I followed Brendan back to where the others were starting to pack.

"What did you do to her?" Realtín screeched at Sorcha when she got a look at me. "She's all pale and sick. You poisoned her!"

The banshee laughed. "I did no such thing. This isn't my doing." She shrugged. "Perhaps she's been in the fae realm for too long."

"I'm okay," I said. "It was probably all of the climbing, and the Fade, and the fenris, and... everything. I feel much better now." That was a lie, but I didn't care. I just wanted to get out of there.

My stomach churned. I barely kept the nausea at bay. I doubted Sorcha had done anything to me, but Nella? I wasn't so sure.

We gathered our things and set off again. At the cliffs, I made Dubh slow so I could look out onto the beach. I tasted salt on my lips.

"They say Dymphna's people came from across the sea," Brendan said. "No one who leaves by water returns."

I looked over my shoulder. "So you've never tried to leave?"

"The realm could drop off into nothing. Nobody knows for sure." He stared at the crashing waves. "Perhaps _this_ is the way the daoine sídhe came."

"I've been there," I said. "It's the human realm." I felt homesick all over again.

"We'll get you home," Brendan said.

"I don't have a home, remember?"

"Then stay with us until you decide what to do."

I looked back at the others. "I'm not sure that's safe anymore."

"You don't really think she poisoned you, do you?"

"No, that's not what I mean. It's just... it's over now. Nobody needs me for anything. I'll be forgotten."

"Your human insecurities are getting to you. Let them go. You have no need to worry. You're among friends. I don't see that much has changed. There will be celebrations, you know. The terror of the old days is over. We've won. _I've_ won. Drake didn't get to enjoy his official celebration, but there will be mine. Maybe even joint celebrations. You wouldn't want to miss the parties. Experience a little more with us before you return."

"Maybe," I said. "We'll see."

We both knew I didn't want to leave.

# Chapter 19

Líle pulled her horse up next to us and looked longingly out at the crashing sea. "Why does this look more appealing than the road we're taking?"

"You'll be okay," I said. "Everything will work out."

"I can't take it," she whispered. "The Hauntings are just..." She lowered her head.

"How bad can it be?" Brendan asked.

"You weren't there," I snapped. "You don't know what it was like for them."

"I'll keep an eye on Líle," Grim said. "The way back will be easier now that we know what to expect."

A wave of memories ran over me. Grim and Realtín had almost died on that very cliff. It seemed as though months had passed since then. It was like a dream, a nightmare. I pulled on the reins, urging Dubh away from the cliff's edge.

"Realtín," I said, "remember to stay with Grim this time. If we stick together, we might not get lost again. After what happened before..."

"We'll stay together," Grim said. "Nothing will happen this time."

We moved on, but Líle slowed her horse until she was at the back of the group.

"I don't know what it was like for _them_ , you said," Brendan murmured. "But it wasn't bad for you?"

"It wasn't the same. Nothing here is the same for me."

"Not even the Fade?"

"Nobody's really talked about their experience yet," I said sharply. "How should I know what it was like for them?"

"You're prickly," he said. "What caused that?"

"I'm not. Nothing." I looked back at the cliff. "It's been... weird."

"Tell me about the Miacha then."

I knew he was just trying to distract me, but those were happier memories, so I didn't mind talking about them. "Before everyone else joined us, the Miacha invited Grim, Realtín, Bekind, and me to their home and took care of us. They helped me because the riding was a struggle for me. My muscles were tired, and I hurt all over. We were riding hard, all day, running away from every little thing and trying to make it to the Fade before somebody stopped us."

"Like Drake?"

"Like anyone. The Miacha treated me like..." My breath hitched. "They were like mothers." I looked into his eyes. "Am I losing my mind? That's what everyone talked about at the oblivion waters. Me being like a summer wife. That my time is running out. Is this how it begins?"

"Oblivion waters?"

"Yeah." I cleared my throat. "I kind of almost drowned, but Bekind pulled me out. I forgot to worry, forgot to breathe. It was the water, they said."

"I'm glad Bekind was there then. And the others?"

"They didn't realise what was happening. Líle and Anya were with me in the water. Everyone probably thought we were just playing around. Bekind figured it out. It wasn't scary. Not until afterward. That was probably the safest place we've been."

"Truly?"

"It's been a long journey. Or it feels that way, anyway. Before the others caught up with us, we were in the sand, some desert place, and the tunnellers came after us. That's when Drake found us and joined the fight. We buddied up then."

"Even Sorcha?"

"Drake brought her. I didn't have much of a choice."

"Hmm." He glanced back. "Líle isn't herself."

I heaved a sigh. It felt good to talk about the things that had happened. "She's been through a lot. I think she regrets coming with us. At first, she was happy to see me. She even got back into trying to teach me how to hold a sword. But everything that's happened has taken a chunk out of her confidence. She barely speaks now."

The Hauntings came into sight.

I shivered and pointed. "Grim nearly died last time. He almost killed himself on that cliff back there. Realtín voluntarily went with him. I caught him just in time. If it wasn't for Dubh helping me, I would have dropped them. Dymphna and Líle tried to kill each other. Drake tried to kill me. I saw a crazy pixie who wouldn't leave. It was messed up in there."

"But you realise it was messed up," he said. "That makes you unlike a summer wife. Besides..." He cleared his throat.

"Yeah, I know," I said. "I haven't been used like a wife. Thanks."

"Summer wives are taken for entertainment," he said. "But they're loved for a time. It's a make-believe kind of love, but it's the closest most fae ever get."

"That's the point isn't it? Make-believe and for a time. Nothing is infinite here. Nothing is real. Not emotion anyway. Except for things like hatred, of course."

"You're worried."

"I'm just... what will happen if I lose my mind? Will I be dumped somewhere? Will I be forgotten about? Or will I starve to death? Wander around and be laughed at and tormented by some faery?"

"What would you want to happen?"

"I think... I think I might want to be put out of my misery." I blew out a breath. "Why are you the only one I can talk to anymore?"

After a pause, he said, "Maybe it's because I've told you things I wouldn't tell another. Maybe it's... sharing."

"Maybe," I said. "I kind of missed you, you know. But never bring it up again because I'll totally deny it and mock you."

He laughed and held me tighter. That made me smile. But then I looked forward at the approaching Hauntings, and my smile disappeared.

I pulled up Dubh and turned to address the others. "Last time, things got messy. Stay together, and maybe we'll make it through in one piece. If we lose the horses again, just grab the closest person and hold tight. Sorcha didn't get caught in the memories last time, so maybe she should lead."

Sorcha nodded. "Just try to remember it's not real. It can't take you in unless you let it, but we should move as quickly as we can."

"Since when do we take direction from humans?" Nella sounded genuinely confused.

Sorcha rolled her eyes and immediately set off, flanked by Dymphna's and Drake's horses. Brendan and I stayed behind, close to Líle's horse. Bekind jumped up with us and huddled in front of me. Realtín clung to Grim's back, her eyes darting around as she glowed red. I hoped she could keep calm long enough for us to get through the Hauntings.

"Please don't get caught up in a murder-suicide memory," I whispered.

"This isn't what I expected," Brendan said.

I kept a hold of Líle's reins as well as Dubh's. We walked in silence, surrounded by mist that thickened with each step. Then a tornado of wind hit, whirling around us, sending my hair whipping all over the place. The Hauntings did its best to separate us. Brendan's arms loosened.

"Hold on!" I yelled.

I reached out for Líle, but she was recoiling from something I couldn't see. She slid off her horse with a shriek of terror.

"Líle! Don't!" I screamed, but she disappeared into the tornado.

Brendan pulled me back when I tried to go after her.

"No," I said. "It can't take me."

"But it can make her hurt you," Brendan said into my ear. "Be sensible."

I turned to look at him. "I can't leave her alone in here. Not here."

He dropped a chaste kiss on my forehead. "Then I'll come with you."

I slipped down off the horse. "Dubh, please lead them out of here. Get everyone to safety."

I ran after Líle, ignoring Realtín's shrieks of alarm. I sensed rather than heard Brendan follow. I was pretty sure he wanted an adventure after being stuck in the Fade. I just hoped he wouldn't succumb to any of the Haunting's tricks. I couldn't deal with two lost fae on my own.

I ran faster, despite the aching in my calf. I couldn't see more than a foot in front of me. I glanced back. Brendan was still behind me, but his clothes had changed. Mine had, too. I couldn't run anymore. A heavy ball gown weighed me down. I tried to rip at the skirt, but it didn't exist. Not really. Despite that, I felt the corset tighten, making my breathing laboured as it constricted my torso.

"Oh, for the love of...! Why the hell do you people have to have such inconvenient fashion sense?"

We stopped short. In front of us were two whirlwinds. Líle was trapped in one, a ghostly figure of a man in the other. Líle wore a dress like mine, her feet in delicate slippers she wouldn't be caught dead in. Both of them desperately reached through the wind keeping them apart, stretching out their arms in a vain attempt to touch. Their fingers were inches apart, destined to never meet. Tears ran down Líle's cheeks, and her eyes were filled with anguish and despair.

"What is this?" I whispered.

"A curse." Brendan sounded a little heartbroken. "They must have died like this, so close, but never managing to touch each other that one last time."

"Líle's stuck in there! What do we do?"

"How did you free them last time?"

I shrugged. "Took them away. But she looks trapped up there. How—"

"I can lift her free."

He stepped forward and thrust his arms into the wind. He flinched as if he felt the emotions the couple were experiencing. The wind pulled at him, threatened to suck him in, so I ran over and held onto him. He grabbed Líle's waist. The wind blew harder, sucking at them. I feared we would never free her. Brendan dug his heels into the dirt and gave a mighty yank. The three of us tumbled backward and away from the memory. The female figure became a misty apparition I didn't recognise. I couldn't take my eyes off the pair. They were playing out the way my heart sometimes felt.

Líle sobbed. "I can't touch him. I can't reach him. Just once more. Once more. Please, have mercy on us."

"He's not real," Brendan said. "You didn't know him. This isn't your memory."

"He's my heart," Líle insisted. "I _know_ him. I remember our first kiss, the first time we—"

"Líle, no!" I brushed the tears from her cheeks. "The memories sucked you in. We're in the Hauntings, remember? It's not real. They're not real. Not anymore. He's long gone, and you just played out what happened to him. You don't know him. He isn't your love."

"You're keeping me from him." Her shoulders shook with her misery.

"Do something," I told Brendan. "You're a king. Help her. Fix her. _Something_!"

He shook his head. "There's nothing I can do for her. The Hauntings have their own power."

I stood. "Help me get her out of here then. The Watcher said he can help when the memories won't go away, when they attach themselves to a person. Maybe if we just get out of here, they'll leave her alone."

He lifted Líle to her feet. Between us, we half dragged her away from the scene that wouldn't leave her thoughts. She kept her head turned so she could look over her shoulder, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"This is awful," I said. "Why does this place have to exist?"

Líle crumpled into a heap, slipping out of our arms. "There's no point," she said. "Kill me now. I'll never be happy again. I'll—"

Brendan swung her into his arms. She whimpered, but she stopped pleading with us to let her go back.

I stayed close to him, holding to his shirt. "I hope the others got out."

"We'll see them if they don't," he said. "I'm sure of that. This place is so strange."

"It's more than strange," I said. "It's horrible. Poor Líle."

"She's caught up in it," he said. "I've never seen anything like it before."

"What if she stays like this? What if the Watcher can't help her?"

He gave me a long hard look that told me everything. I sucked in a breath, feeling a stitch in my side.

"Stay close to me, Cara," Brendan said, gasping against the wind battering us. "I'm afraid you're the only thing stopping me from getting trapped in one of these memories."

Thankfully, the dress vanished, making it easier for me to walk. But we stepped right into a thunderstorm. Despite knowing it wasn't real, and that the effects would only last for as long as the memory, I shivered, drenched to the skin.

Then, I saw them. I froze, pulling on Brendan's arm. "There's a duel! You don't feel like you're being pulled into the memory, do you?"

"I'm fine," he said. "But we can wait until the duel is over if it makes you feel better."

I moved closer to him as two men attacked each other with swords. One was young and carefree, obviously inexperienced. The duel didn't last long. The younger man soon lay on the ground, spitting up blood. He reached out, begging for something. Maybe mercy, maybe to be put out of his misery. His opponent simply walked away.

Brendan urged me on. We stepped over a bleeding body that vanished into smoke.

We caught up to the others. Dubh and Bekind were leading them right into a memory I recognised.

"This again," I whispered, seeing a blond-haired little girl and a raven-haired boy run together around some black rose bushes. Nella stared at the children, her face aghast with horror.

"Get on Dubh," Brendan told me. "I'll carry Líle in case she runs again."

I didn't want to leave him, so I kept a hold of his arm as I reached for Dubh's reins. I held on to the horse and walked next to Brendan.

The Hauntings seemed to have gone wild, throwing every possible memory at us. I wasn't sure if the moisture on my face was from rain or tears. A fire blazed next to us, buildings burning down, screams echoing on the wind. We kept our heads down and concentrated on leaving before it was too late. Dubh moved faster, as if he knew we were close to the end. I let him lead.

The memories slowed. The power dissipated. The mist thinned.

In the distance, I saw a figure standing next to a dog.

"It's the Watcher!" I shouted. "We're almost there."

Brendan and I ran alongside Dubh as the others galloped ahead of us.

When we reached him, the Watcher eyed Líle with concern. "Bring her to the house. I felt the Hauntings come with you. Get her in quick before anything escapes. Everyone else, go to the stables."

Brendan hurried down the path to the Watcher's home. I followed, unable to wait. The Wife and the pixies waited at the door.

"Carry her up the stairs," the Wife said, removing her apron.

The pixies cooed over Brendan as he stepped over the threshold with a pale, shaking Líle.

"Cara, come with me," he said.

I followed him up the stairs, constantly jostled and pinched by the pixies. I could have hit back, but that wouldn't have made me feel any better.

There was already a bath ready. The water steamed, emitting a strange aroma. Brendan laid Líle on the bed. The pixies cowered at the door.

"Oh, get out of here, you useless pair!" the Wife screamed. "Go stir the pot. Sort out the guests before I get down there, or you'll be sleeping with the horses for the rest of your life!"

The pixies fled.

"I'll help," I said, moving to the Wife's side as she began to remove Líle's clothing.

"Now, now," the Wife murmured soothingly as Líle huddled in a ball. "We're helping you."

"Líle," I whispered, "it's me, Cara."

She looked up at me, but her eyes were wide with terror. She stopped struggling, but the beautiful fire in her eyes was fading. What did that mean?

The Wife unbuttoned Líle's shirt. "She's probably seeing all sorts of things. Doesn't know where she is, I bet. You keep talking to her, girl. Keep her calm."

I did as I was told, but I wasn't sure it was helping. Líle's eyes kept glazing over as tremors rocked her body. Finally, the Wife was done. Brendan carried Líle into the bath.

"You'll have to hold her down," the Wife said. "The cold's stuck in her, and it'll hate the heat."

When Brendan eased Líle into the water, she came to life and flipped out. We held her down, the three of us pressing her body beneath the water, no matter how much she begged and pleaded.

I stroked her hair, trying my best to keep her head above the water. We were all drenched from the splashing. Slowly, Líle calmed down, but she began to shake uncontrollably again. She stared at nothing, her lips trembling. I felt sick that the bedraggled girl was the same one who had told me to snap out of my own weakness. I stared up at Brendan to avoid looking at her. He held my gaze steadily.

"The first shock is over for her, so go on down and eat," the Wife said. "I'll watch her and call you when I need you."

I hesitated, reluctant to leave Líle, but Brendan coaxed me out of the room. In the hallway, Brendan took my hand and stopped me from descending the stairs.

"What?" I asked.

He gathered me in his arms and hugged me.

I held on, comforted by his presence. "I'm scared," I whispered.

"I know. But they'll help her. They know what to do. You don't dare doubt the Wife, surely?"

Laughing, I wiped the sudden tears from my eyes.

"Let's eat. You're looking as ill as Líle."

We headed downstairs. Half the group was on the sitting room floor. We moved into the kitchen, where Drake was eating. He moved over to make room for us. It was a tight fit.

"Is she all right?" he asked.

Brendan shook his head. "Not yet."

"Did anyone take care of Dubh?" I asked.

Drake gave me an odd look. "Of course. The horses need rest. The journey's been hard on them. We've ridden them too hard since we set out."

The Watcher returned with his dog. "Anything left in the pot?" He dished up a bowl.

Dymphna moved into the other room, and the Watcher took her place at the table. I could barely swallow the food. I had destroyed my friend because I had the great idea to go on some kind of stupid faery quest. I glanced at Brendan. Was it worth it?

"I blame myself," the Watcher said. "I should have kept her here in the first place. She was too vulnerable to her fear of the place, and they clung to that. We'll keep her here for a time, make sure she gets better."

My head jerked up. "Keep her here? She has to come with us."

"If she's not better by the morning, then I'm certain it'll be at least three weeks before she's okay to travel," he said. "I'm not new to this, missy."

"I'm not..." I shook my head. "I'm not doubting you. I'm just... I'll stay with her. If that's okay?"

"A human this close to the Fade and everything else? I can't in good conscience let you do that."

"I can't leave her here. I can't just leave her alone."

"She won't be alone," he said briskly. "She's a strong woman, tougher than most. Her warrior spirit will fight back, and the Hauntings will be gone from under her skin soon enough."

"We can't wait here for weeks," Drake said.

"No, you can't," the Watcher said. "There's something odd going on in the realm. You need to go back and face your duties."

"But Líle..." I trailed off, not knowing how to argue.

"She might recover by morning," Brendan said. "Don't worry about it until then."

I finished eating while they discussed their precious realm. Didn't they realise that Líle was important? I couldn't leave her alone. I couldn't let her try to recover without a friend to help her.

# Chapter 20

I lay in front of the fire. The Wife had forced us to sit still while she stitched together our worst wounds, and my leg still throbbed from her work. Anya, Bekind, Grim, and Realtín were with me in the living room. We curled up together, listening to the whimpers from upstairs.

"I want to go up there," I said.

"The Wife might not approve," Anya said.

"I don't give a shit. Líle needs us." I got to my feet, feeling irrationally angry at the rest of the group for not caring more.

I strode upstairs, followed by Bekind. When I knocked on the bedroom door, the Wife opened it, looking exhausted.

"Did you need something?" she asked, peering over my shoulder.

I followed her gaze to see that the rest of my friends stood behind me. "We want to spend time with her," I said. "We need her to know that we're here for her."

"I don't think she knows much." The Wife pursed her lips. "Come on in then. I'll sort out blankets for you, and you can sleep on the floor. It'll give me a chance to rest."

We stepped into the room. Bekind immediately jumped onto the bed and curled up beside Líle, who was shaking violently. Her lips were purple, and the burning embers under her skin were muted to a pale glow.

"She looks worse," Anya whispered.

"It always gets worse before it gets better," the Wife said, then she left the room.

I moved closer to the bed and said Líle's name. She didn't respond at all. Realtín darted about the room, red and gold, but Líle showed no sign that she saw any of us.

"She's in the right place," Grim said, but he didn't sound sure.

The Wife returned with blankets and mugs of hot tea. She patted my shoulder. "We'll take good care of her. Don't you worry."

After she went back downstairs, we sat on the floor and leaned against the bed. Líle seemed to be asleep, but she kept tossing and turning, muttering under her breath.

"I'm so worried about her," Anya said.

"It's my fault," I said. "She's only here because of me."

"You didn't make her come," Grim said.

"Didn't I?" I stared into my cup. "Drake and Brendan, and probably Sorcha, think I compel people into wanting to make me happy. What if that's true?"

"You haven't forced any of us," Grim said.

"The leanan sídhe—" I began.

"It's nonsense," Realtín said. "You're not that little witch. We've all been compelled before. This isn't it."

"She's right," Anya said. "We've gone through everything there is. The problem with Líle right now is a loss of power. She felt weak and out of control. That just gave the Hauntings a chance to press in on her. She'll get through this. I doubt she'll regret a moment of the journey." She hesitated. "When it's all over."

"I was really starting to believe Brighid was watching over us," I admitted. "I fell for the whole thing."

"There's nothing wrong with a little faith," Anya said. "I don't think you realise exactly what we've done. We've made it through the most dangerous journey imaginable in an unstable land, and we brought back two souls to boot."

"Yeah," I said wryly. "That."

"She's pretty hateful," Anya said. "Even for..." She gave me an apologetic look. "She's on a higher tier than us. We're not destined to get along with her in any case, but she's worse than I even expected."

"At least there's no family resemblance," Realtín said cheerily.

I laughed. "Always a plus. I can't believe I came from something so... so..."

"You didn't," Grim said. "She has nothing to do with you. Don't define yourself by this creature. You'll probably never see her again after this."

We lay down to sleep, but my mind was whirling. My fae descendent was back in the world. I was curious about her, despite her rudeness. More importantly, Brendan was back, and he didn't have any plans to start a war. That had to count for something. I fell asleep with worries on my brain, so it was no wonder my dreams weren't exactly pleasant.

Moaning woke me. I sat up to see Líle staring into space. I carefully got onto the bed and held her, feeling her shaking in my arms. We lay there together until I dozed off.

When I awoke again, Líle was staring at me intently.

"Cara," she said. "You're Cara."

"That's right. And you're Líle."

"I know Líle," she said thoughtfully. "But I'm not sure that's me. I see two lives, two sets of memories. How am I supposed to know which one is real?"

I cupped her cheek. "As long as you know I'm your real friend, it doesn't matter which set of memories you're attuned to."

Tears leaked from eyes that I had once compared to a smouldering fire. Now they were ash. "I'm terrified. I can't stop seeing things that I don't want to see, feeling things that I never want to feel again."

"We're going to get you better," I whispered. "No matter what. The Watcher and his wife know how to help you."

"You can't stay with me," she said. "You're leaving soon."

"I'll stay with you for as long as it takes. Don't you worry about that."

She shook her head. "I heard them talking. The pixies. They said you wanted to stay. The kings won't allow that. Not after everything. You need to get back to the human realm before it's too late. Don't be their summer wife, Cara. Don't do that."

"I won't. Try to sleep. I'll be right here."

"Don't leave me tonight," she begged. "There are so many things in here. I see them all of the time. They won't go away, won't leave me alone. They're haunting me, Cara, and I don't know what's real. I can't take it. I'd rather die."

"You would not rather die," I said sharply. "You warned me before about self-pity."

"Did I?"

"Don't you remember? You threatened to throw me in a shower if I didn't get on my own two feet. You made me snap out of my misery. I'm going to do the same for you, Líle, even if it takes kicking your arse up and down these stairs every day for a month."

She favoured me with a weak smile. "I think I love you, little human." Then her face creased with pain, and she began to cry again.

I held her in the dark, stroking her hair while I cradled her like a child. I kept talking to her, reminding her I was there. I filled her head with stories from my childhood, and finally, she slept.

The next morning, Líle was clearly not better. I helped the Wife bathe her again, then I fed her, mocking her until she swallowed some spoonfuls of porridge. I talked as though we were all leaving together, but we both knew she was staying put. She had no other choice. We couldn't risk that tough journey with such a fragile mind. Besides that, the Watcher wasn't going to let her leave until he was sure she was clean of the Hauntings.

Líle napped after her breakfast. The Wife came into the room and ushered me downstairs to eat. Brendan, Drake, Grim, and the Watcher joined me. Arlen and Anya were outside giving the horses rub downs, while the rest were taking turns bathing.

"We have to leave," Brendan said.

I lifted my tea and sipped it. "Have a good trip."

"Cara," Drake said gently, "you have to come with us."

"Nope. I really don't. Líle can't be left alone." I looked at the Watcher. "I get that you know what you're doing, but I know my friend. She needs somebody who cares about her to stay with her. She needs someone to remind her of her memories, of what's real."

The Watcher smiled. "How did you know that?"

"She told me she sees two whole sets of memories and that it's hard for her to focus on what's real and what's just a stolen memory. She was better last night because she had me there."

"And if you lose your mind?" Grim asked. "What will keep her on the right path then?"

I felt hurt. "Grim, you're against me on this?"

"I listened to you both last night," he said, looking at me steadily. "Even she knows it's dangerous for you to stay here. She'll understand."

"But I brought her here."

He tapped the table. "You didn't. We all had our reasons for coming for Brendan. You have no power over us, no matter what our idiot kings like to say to make themselves feel better."

My mouth dropped open. "Holy shit, Grim."

He looked at the kings and shrugged. "It's true. If either of you were honest with yourselves for a moment, you would both know it as surely as you know you have hands and feet."

"I love you, Grim," I said, amused beyond belief. They had totally been told off by a brownie. "But I'm still staying."

"Realtín and I have discussed it already." He picked up his fork to continue eating. " _We're_ staying. You're going with the kings."

"No way. You two are like my family now. I can't leave you here, too."

"We'll be fine."

"But I... _I_ need you."

"Cara, you don't need anyone but yourself." He reached across the table to pat my hand. "You can't be a martyr to your feelings. You have to do what's best for you. The truth is, you've been ill, more than you've let on. I don't know if it's an effect of the fae realm or not, but I would feel a lot better if I knew you were safe. I have too much else to worry about. Realtín and I are staying with Líle, no matter what. I'm begging you to go to safety."

"What if I can't get through the marshes this time?" I whispered, my eyes brimming with tears.

"This time?" Brendan asked.

"The girl led the others through the marshes after they had gotten lost," the Watcher said. "A human can sometimes be useful this close to the Fade."

I made a face. "But if Grim and Realtín stay here with Líle, how will they get home? How will we protect them?"

"Don't worry about that," the Watcher said. "I can get them back safely when they're ready to move on. The way isn't open all of the time, but she'll be ready by the time the path opens again. Besides, I can show you all a different way back. This one's not any safer, but it's not through the marshes. The only problem is that it leads you close to the castle."

"The ruins?" Drake asked. He glanced at Brendan. "We saw the ruins of a castle in the Darkside. It was hidden from the path, but when we passed the Hollows, we could see it clearly in the distance. It looks like someone has been using it. I think we should look into it when we get back."

Brendan nodded. "Thank you for your help, Watcher. If there's ever anything I can do..."

"Nothing you can help me with," the Watcher said. "Are we agreed? The sprite and the brownie stay here with the woman until she's ready to leave? They'll be under my protection and back in your care before you know it."

Grim looked at me pleadingly. I would be no use to Líle if I lost my mind, too. And if the Watcher could guarantee their safety, then maybe they were better off staying. I nodded, though still reluctant, and went outside to talk to Anya.

I found her on her way back to the house. "Grim and Realtín are staying."

"I know," she said softly, brushing the hair off my face. "They already told me. We agreed on it together."

"Are you staying?"

She shook her head. "I'm staying with you. Líle wouldn't want us all to hang around here anyway. Stop worrying, Cara. The Watcher said they'll be safe with him, that he'll get them home safely. And he's showing us a way. We'll be home before you know it."

Everyone kept saying that, but I couldn't make myself believe it.

She gave me a little push toward the house. "You should say goodbye to Líle. We're leaving in the morning, but I think she should know as soon as possible."

When I went upstairs, Líle was awake and eating some lunch.

"Hi," she said softly. "I watched out of the window. They're preparing to leave again."

"In the morning." I hesitated. "I have to go with them."

She nodded, but she looked deflated.

"You'll be safe," I said. "Grim and Realtín are staying with you. The Watcher promised to bring the three of you back to us safely."

"Grim and Realtín? Did you ask them to?"

"No. It was their idea. They care about you. They know they're needed, and they know I want to stay."

"But you can't," she whispered. "You've lost a lot of weight, Cara. I remember feeling scared for you, that you were fading away."

"I promise not to do that. I'm stronger than I look. I'm not a frail human to be protected. You made me stronger. I'm so grateful to you for everything, Líle. I know you don't like to get soppy, but you've become one of my best friends. I couldn't have made it through any of the fae stuff without you. You're nothing like the others, and you do it without even trying. I really need you to get better and come back to me."

"It's so strange," she said. "I'm looking at you through two sets of eyes. One says you're a stranger. The other says you're important to me. I'm so confused all of the time, but I do have some memories of you. You helped make me free. It wasn't as if Brendan treated me badly, but I wasn't free to be my own person. I couldn't follow the Mother, couldn't say the things I really wanted to say. You came into our world and changed that. I don't know why, and I don't know how, but I hope you remember that I'm grateful to you above anything else."

I hugged her, my eyes full again. "Jesus. Why the hell am I so emotional lately?"

She smiled, but she looked terrified.

"I'm not gone yet," I said. "I'll be with you until the morning, and you're not going to forget me. You're not going to forget yourself. If you even try, Realtín will be there, ready to pelt you with rotten fruit and to tie knots in your hair."

Her laugh felt familiar, as though she would be okay. As soon as we were all back together in a safe place, everything would be fine again.

# Chapter 21

In the morning, we had to say our goodbyes. I felt sick to my stomach as Dubh trotted away after the Watcher and his dog.

"You'll see them again," Brendan said. The riding arrangements hadn't changed much, despite the extra horse, mostly because Brendan hadn't wanted them to.

"Promise me," I said. "Promise me you'll make sure they get home."

He hesitated for a second. "Their home isn't with me anymore."

I elbowed him in the gut. "Just promise, for fuck sake."

"I _will_ do my best," he said. "If they don't come back, I'll send someone out."

"And how will they make it through the marsh?"

"If you're that worried, you and I will make the journey."

That satisfied me for a while. I didn't believe him, not really, but it felt like half a plan as opposed to none. The Watcher led us away from his cottage, away from the marshlands and the Hauntings. The ground was rocky and unstable.

Finally, he stopped. "Well, here we are."

I looked around in confusion. There was nothing near but stone and moss.

The Watcher smiled, reached into a bunch of moss, and eased it back, revealing an underground tunnel that had been well camouflaged. "You'll need torches most of the way."

"How far is it?" Brendan asked.

The Watcher shrugged. "Far enough, I'd say. It'll take you beneath the marshes, so ignore the way the tunnel changes there. There's a cave midway. That makes it easier. The rest of the tunnel narrows, so don't worry if it seems... small. This way is longer, and it'll still be risky. When you get above ground, you'll have a fair bit of travelling to do. You can pass through the Hollows again if you like, or you can aim south and find a tiny bridge that crosses the river. The Hollows might be safer, though. The ledges you'll have to cross from the bridge to find a decent path are treacherous."

"Promise you'll send them home safely," I said.

He patted Dubh. "You'll see them again. Don't you worry." He handed me his torch and walked away.

"No point dawdling," Brendan said.

He jerked on the reins, and Dubh took the first steps down into the tunnel. The others fell in behind us, as there was only room to ride single file. Brendan wrapped his arm tighter around my waist to keep me steady as the tunnel wound down into the earth.

"I wonder if we'll see the castle," I murmured.

" _I_ wonder what state the realm is in," Brendan said.

"It has two kings to deal with any trouble now, right?"

"And hopefully, the two kings will get along better than the twin queens did," he said.

"You will. You're friends now."

"We shall see."

"But you'll try, too. Not just sit there and let things go wrong."

He pulled down my hood and blew on the back of my neck. He tugged at some hair that had fallen out of my plait. "What happened to your hair?"

"Arlen cut it."

"Arlen!" Brendan shouted. "Why did you cut Cara's hair?"

"It needed a trim," Arlen deadpanned.

Anya giggled. The sound made me brighten again.

"What did you do to my bodyguard?" Brendan whispered. "He just made a joke for the first time in his entire life."

"It's not me. Maybe Anya's good for him."

Brendan sucked in a breath. "Perhaps you're right."

"If we go past it, we could show you the oblivion waters," I said. "And the place the tunnellers almost got us. And—"

"Cara, I'm not sure I want to see every place you've almost died in since I was sent to the Fade."

I kept forgetting that he had been through some stuff, too. "How was it this time in the Fade? Compared to before."

"More... confusing. I wasn't ready. Not that I was ready before, but I felt as though I wasn't supposed to be there. It wasn't the same as before."

"And the priestesses?"

"Don't get me started on them," he growled. "I'll tear down their bloody gardens and teach them what—"

"Don't be ridiculous. I thought you wanted peace. That means leaving people to their faith. Who are you to stop people like—" I bit my lip. I had said too much again.

"People like who?" he asked.

"People who want to find peace in Brighid. Forget the priestesses. They helped us in the end. Don't you see? You're both safe, and I don't have to feel guilty about either one of you anymore. They helped me. They saved my life and Drake's, and we saved yours. It worked out. Can't you just leave it?"

"I don't think I can. You don't understand the hate in my heart. This isn't the only reason. It's not just for me."

"You're right. I don't understand you."

He pulled me closer to him.

"Would you stop?" I said. "You're acting like a total perve."

"Allow me a little comfort." The smile in his voice was obvious. "I've been through a traumatic experience. Shouldn't you want to nurse me back to health?"

"No."

"Anya sits on Arlen's lap as they ride," he said teasingly.

I turned my head to glare at him. "And Drake sits on the horse's rump and holds on to the back of saddle so he doesn't have to touch Sorcha."

He arched his eyebrows. "Do you fear you won't be able to resist me if you get too close?"

"Were you always this full of yourself?" I asked sweetly. "How did you make it so long before getting banished to the Fade? Maybe the third time will be the charm."

He laughed, and the sound cheered me.

Soon, the tunnel darkened. The light kept flickering as if something were trying desperately to blow it out, but I couldn't feel the draught. A shiver ran through me. Nobody else spoke. I couldn't even hear the hooves of the other horses any longer. I glanced behind us, worrying, but I couldn't see a thing.

"Tell me," Brendan whispered. His voice sounded colder than before, crueler. "Has he charmed you again? Despite him leaving you to die, despite his lies and secrets, has he charmed you back into his bed? Has he made you forget your tears?"

I stiffened. "No! I haven't... I haven't done anything wrong, Brendan."

"It wouldn't be wrong here though, would it? We fae are mindless creatures after all. That's what you said, isn't it? That we're all about the debauchery, never anything more."

"Stop it, Brendan."

The despair of the entire world felt as though it had just fallen on my shoulders. The light went out, leaving us in total darkness. I gasped and shrank back against him. He automatically held me close, the warmth from his arm the only thing stopping me from trembling.

"We're under the Black Marsh," I said. "Somehow, we're under there. We must be deep." I couldn't see in the dark, but Dubh never faltered. If anything, his steps grew steadier.

Brendan pressed my back against his chest and inhaled deeply. "I like this not, Cara."

"It's okay. It made everyone miserable. That's really what was wrong with Líle. We fell into the water, along with Anya. Something under there dragged us down. Líle was down the longest. She wasn't breathing. When she woke up, she was... different. The despair was inside her. I know that sounds strange."

"In this realm, nothing sounds strange."

"Yeah, I think I'm starting to get that."

"I'm sorry I said those words," he murmured. "I don't think badly of you."

"That's okay," I said. "I think badly enough of myself."

"Why?"

I felt compelled to talk—not in a fae-forcing-me way, more in a I-can-talk-to-this-faery-about-anything kind of way.

"I haven't... I kissed him. And you were half right. He did charm me again. But so did you when he wasn't around. I don't know what's wrong with me. I want..." I bit my lip.

"You want what?"

"Everything," I said softly. "I want to stay. I want to go. I want my family and friends, but I want the fae in my life. I want... I want..."

"It's all right," he said. "It's okay to want things, to not be sure."

"But I'm hurting myself." I sucked in a breath. "I don't want to hurt anyone else."

"You won't. We're fae, remember? We don't have feelings."

"Sometimes you fool me."

The tunnel widened into a cave, and the pure blackness around us eased a little. The others caught up, all of them looking as disturbed as I felt. The rest of the journey was taken in silence. I had a lot to think about anyway.

"Is that sunlight?" Drake asked behind us after what seemed like an age.

Looking up, I saw a crack of light stream across the ceiling of the cave. We came to another tunnel, one that led up an incline. Halfway, the rock was so tight around us that it scraped against the fabric of Brendan's clothes.

We came out into light, and it was as if we had shed some fear. The others began talking amongst themselves. Arlen rode up next to us so he could strike up a conversation with Brendan. Something about the sun burned the chill away. We moved down a lush slope surrounded by unfamiliar-looking trees that were barely taller than we were on our horses.

"Where are we?" I asked.

Arlen looked around, frowning. "At first, I thought it was the great forest, but it can't be. Still, this place feels untouched by darkness. Almost... pure."

"Dubh, stop." I pulled on the reins. "Brendan, hold on to me."

"What on earth are you doing?" he asked as I brought up my feet and stood on Dubh's back.

I wanted to be taller to get our bearings. "I see the Hollows," I said, pointing to the left. "It's pretty far away. Do we have to go that way?"

"It's best to head in that general direction," Arlen said. "But we don't have to cross them if we find another way. Can you see the river? Or the bridge the Watcher mentioned?"

"I can see a river that kind of looks more like an ocean," I said. "No sign of a bridge, though, and the mountain range south of the river looks pretty fierce. That castle must be around here somewhere, but I can't see it at all. Unless we're on the wrong side, but that would mean..." I shook my head, squinting in the sun. "No matter what we do, we're not getting out of the Darkside any time soon."

Brendan helped me sit back down. "We can ride as far as we dare then find a place to camp."

"The last time we tried to pass through the Hollows, they forced us to give up a sacrifice. They aren't going to be fooled by Bekind twice," Drake said.

"Then there's another way," Brendan said. "We'll find the bridge. And if not, two kings will surely give them pause."

"I wouldn't be so sure." Nella sounded pleased with herself. She and Sorcha had frequently been in deep conversation back at the Watcher's home. I still wondered what they were up to.

"We'll head south," he said. "If we see the bridge, we'll try to cross it. If not, we'll have no choice but to try the Hollows."

We couldn't go too fast because the horses were still tired and we might need them to gallop if we encountered anything strange. The rest of the day was one long slog. The heat kicked in again, and we hadn't passed a clean source of water for a long time.

"The horses need water," Dymphna said. "We must find something before dark."

"We have to push them," Brendan said. "We won't find a thing in the dark."

The forest was thick with prickly trees that seemed purposefully built to get in our way. By the time we found a spring of fresh water, we were all exhausted. Dymphna made a fire and cooked.

"I miss Grim," I said glumly as we sat around the fire. Even with the fire and my cloak and the hot tea in my hands, I still shivered. The sweltering days turned into drastically cold nights.

"I miss regular baths," Anya said. "I miss bubbles."

"I miss my bed," Arlen said. "My back is aching from sleeping on the ground."

"I miss a roof over my head at night," Drake said.

"I miss my throne," Brendan said.

I rolled my eyes. "You win."

He grinned. "Yes, I do."

He persuaded Arlen to sing that night. I was surprised to find Arlen willing. Anya joined him, belting out a sweet harmony to back up his deep voice. I watched them closely, surprised by the affection in her eyes as she looked up at him. How had I not noticed that?

I settled down on my blankets alone. I didn't have Grim or Realtín or Líle, and Anya was still up with the others. Bekind curled up next to me. I scratched behind her ears. "This doesn't mean I'm not mad at you anymore," I said. "I'm definitely still mad."

She purred, rolled over, and rubbed her cheek against mine.

"I'm such a sucker," I muttered.

The next morning, my roiling stomach woke me. I got up and stumbled out of the camp area. Behind a tree, I emptied my stomach then wiped my face with my sleeve.

I heard female voices coming from behind some other trees. I headed that way to see who was there. Dubh came from out of nowhere. He bit my sleeve and pulled me back to camp. When we returned, I saw that two of the horses were missing. The other horses were always tied. Confused, I counted the sleeping bundles of people. We were missing four, including Bekind. I drank from the spring and contemplated waking everyone, but I didn't really think it mattered. I attempted to light the fire. Dubh stood behind me, snorting softly as if mocking me. When Bekind sprinted over to me, I ignored her. She batted at my hands and rolled onto her back.

"Don't laugh at me, cat. I'm doing the best I can here. You, too, mighty faery horse."

"Need a hand with that?" Arlen asked, sitting up on his blanket.

"Yeah, probably," I said, giving up. "Sorcha and Nella are gone. Dymphna, too."

"I'm surprised the pair of them took so long." He nodded at Bekind. "I thought she'd have gone with them instead of Dymphna, though."

I scratched behind Bekind's ears. "This one? Can't get rid of her."

"Looks like it." He got the fire lit. "Breakfast soon. Nothing fancy, I'm afraid. I don't have Grim's particular skillset."

"You mean made of awesome? You're not so bad."

"Thank you, puny human."

"You're in a good mood," I noted.

"The dead weight left this morning."

"Funny. I thought that was me."

"You haven't been a burden. You earned your keep on this particular trip."

I smiled broadly. Praise from Arlen counted double.

The others began to wake up and notice the recent loss.

"Gone?" Brendan shrugged. "They didn't take all of our supplies, at least."

"And we'll be less noticeable in a smaller group," Drake added.

Nobody seemed to care that the daoine sídhe, someone consumed with honour and pride, had ditched her quest.

Anya brushed her hair out with her fingers. "They're no great loss. I can relax now without the eyes of death staring at me."

Grinning, I handed her a cup of hot tea. She gave me a grateful smile then settled down next to Arlen. Her eyes softened whenever she glanced at him. I wondered again how I had missed that.

I felt more relaxed without Sorcha and Nella, too. When they took over conversations with Drake and Brendan, they made me feel as though I should shut up because the grownups were busy talking.

Anya and I found a pool we could bathe in. We were relatively sure it wasn't more oblivion water, considering how rare that was supposed to be.

"It's odd without Líle and the others," I said as Anya brushed out my hair. "Quiet."

"I know, but we'll be back together soon. At least we know they'll have a safer journey than us."

"What do you think of Nella?"

"As little as I think of Sorcha. They will always plot and scheme. We're better off out of their reach. Now and always." She squeezed my shoulder. "Any idea what you'll do when we return?"

"I don't know. Brendan said I should stick around and enjoy the celebrations for a while."

"I had forgotten. There will be plenty of festivities once the kings divide up the realm."

"That won't be easy. They have good intentions and all, but how easy can it be to divide a realm? Especially when there's the Darkside to consider. I mean, they don't even know the land. How can they divide it up?"

"They'll figure out a way. Since the Darkside began appearing, it's been largely ignored."

"And nobody thought about trying to find a way to fix the rift or whatever?"

She shrugged. "Nobody cared to."

Arlen shouted for us to hurry.

Anya held out her hand and helped me to my feet. "Come on. It must be time to pack up and leave."

We headed back to the others and prepared to leave, a smaller group yet again.

# Chapter 22

All that remained of our group was Anya, Arlen, Drake, Brendan, Bekind, and me. We still had warriors, and I had Dubh, so we would probably be okay. Arlen was afraid of pushing the horses too hard, so we travelled slowly, protected from the sun by the thick overgrowth of large oak trees. Something about the trees disturbed me. As we travelled on, I realised why. They looked almost exactly like the trees that had blocked me from escaping the Phoenix Park right before I met the fae for the first time.

I yawned. The journey had been non-stop, and I seemed to need more sleep than anyone else in the group. Every night, I was first to sleep and usually last to wake in the morning.

"Sleep," Brendan whispered. "I'll make sure you don't fall."

"I'm not that tired," I said. "Who could sleep on a horse?"

But my eyes grew heavy. He took the reins, wrapping his arm around my stomach to hold on to me. I leaned back against him, unable to keep my eyes open anymore. Something about the fae realm tired me out, and I wondered if that was stage one in the summer wife syndrome.

As the horse trotted, the movement sent me to sleep. I dreamed about my grandparents, which was weird because I hadn't seen them since my brother Darragh's funeral. In the dream, I was a child, walking toward an open coffin. That hadn't happened. The casket had been closed. Mam would never have made me look at my brother's dead body. But in the dream, someone was pushing me, telling me to hurry and that I had one last chance to see him.

My grandparents were angry, standing behind a barrier as they screamed my name. My father was there, shouting that he wasn't my real father and that I shouldn't get to look at Darragh. I didn't count. I wasn't family. I didn't deserve to see him, to look upon him with the evil eyes I had inherited from my real father.

I couldn't see my mother, but whoever was pushing me kept on doing it, and then the coffin was right in front of me. Strong hands were under my arms, lifting me and making me look. I wanted to close my eyes, but I had no eyelids anymore. I was seeing everything. _Everything_.

Darragh was old and haggard in the coffin, even though he had been a teenager when he died. His mouth and eyes were open in a silent scream of horror. His cheeks were bloated, a red ring marking his neck. It didn't make sense. He hadn't been hurt that way. He sat up and looked at me, his wide eyes soulless. "Why?" he croaked. "Why does this keep happening?"

"What?"

He reached out to me. "You're doing it all over again. You've let them start over."

I shook my head, confused and terrified. I hadn't seen him move any closer, but his hands were around my neck, squeezing hard. I was choking, scratching at his bony fingers. His grip tightened, even as the flesh fell away from his hands. I heard people laughing. They laughed as the coffin fell away and my big brother drew me underground, into darkness.

My brother was gone. I was alone in the dark. I was lying down, but when I tried to sit up, I bumped my head. I stretched out my arms and legs, but they would only move inches from my body. With growing horror, I realised I was in a coffin. I screamed, kicking and punching at the wood. The coffin opened, and everyone I knew was standing around the grave, looking down at me. Behind them was a beautiful violet sky.

"Help me!" I screamed, standing up. "Zoe! Help me!"

My best friend shovelled dirt on top of me. The hole deepened beneath me, moving me farther and farther away from the surface. They all had shovels, and the soil covered me within seconds. I scrambled, trying to climb out, but there was no escape. I looked to my right, and my brother's body was next to me in the dirt, that wide-open scream still in place. Bony hands moved through the soil and pulled me to him. My nostrils were filled with a putrid stench. I couldn't move anymore because his arms were wrapped around my waist, holding me in death's embrace. I opened my mouth to scream, but it filled with soil until I couldn't breathe.

"Easy!" Brendan said. _He_ had his arms around me, not some horrific form of my brother. "Cara, wake up. Wake up!"

My eyes were open. I could see trees, feel the movement of the horse underneath me, but I tasted dirt and smelled rot and decay. I leaned over and spat. "I need to get down." I threw off Brendan's arms and swung my leg over the horse.

"What's wrong?" he demanded. "What's happening? Are you ill?"

Even standing on solid ground, I was sweating and shaking, unable to get the nightmare out of my head. "I'm fine. I just need a drink of water. I'm too hot, too..." I shook my head.

The others caught up and dismounted.

"Is she sick again?" Anya asked, hurrying over to me.

I felt dizzy. Someone handed me a flask. I drank the water, my knees trembling. "It's nothing," I said. "It was just a dream."

"About what?" Anya asked. "You look scared to death."

"My brother. Never mind. I'm fine now. Let's go."

"We can afford to take a break," Drake said. "The horses need to cool down. There's a stream all the way through this part of the woods, so we can stop anywhere."

"I can keep going." They all looked at me as if I were about to break. "I said I was fine."

"I'm not," Brendan said. "My backside is killing me. Dubh is a monster horse."

Suspicious, I frowned at him, but he just started unloading our packs. I sat on a flat rock and thought about the dream. It had come out of nowhere, and it had been so vivid. I couldn't let it go.

Anya chattered at me and tried to encourage me to eat, but I felt sick again. I couldn't blame it on Sorcha anymore. She had left us—along with Dymphna, but I was the only who seemed to think that was odd.

"Maybe I really am losing my mind," I said.

"You can't be," she said. "You're still... _you_. We would know. We would see it coming."

"So what happens? What are the signs?"

"Signs of what?" Brendan asked, coming over to us with the others in tow.

"Signs of losing it," I said.

"She wants to know what it's like for the summer wives," Anya said softly.

"This again?" Drake asked impatiently. "You're not a summer wife!"

"Settle down," Brendan said. "Of course she's going to be concerned. Haven't we all been? She passed out for two days before. We didn't feel anything from her. We thought—"

"That was kind of my fault," I admitted, cringing as he turned to look at me, his green eyes flashing with anger.

"Excuse me?" he said. "You made me think we had almost killed you? And it was all your fault all along?"

"Not all her fault," Anya said. "She was overwhelmed by faery magic. That can never be her fault."

Brendan rubbed his temples. "This is about Brighid, isn't it? This is why the priestesses involved themselves. I knew you were all keeping a secret." He sat down and stretched out his legs. "Go on then. Tell me what happened."

"I kind of... followed a leyline and stepped through an arch and maybe found myself in the garden of a goddess," I said, trying not to laugh at the swift change in expressions on Brendan's face. "And something happened in there. It was good, though. I felt better about... the family stuff. But when I stepped back through the arch..." I shrugged. "I woke up in bed with you all staring at me."

"Something... happened," Brendan said slowly. "Something that made the hedge-witch side with you. Something that convinced the priestesses that the goddess watches over you. Something that saved your life and sent me back to the Fade."

"Yeah, about that," I said. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea any of that would happen, and I—"

"I know. Nobody could have foreseen that. I'm not angry. I'm just... curious." He glanced at Drake. "What do you think? Has the goddess returned?"

Drake shook his head. "I've no idea. The priestesses must be desperate if they've resorted to helping a human. That's all I know."

"Maybe she never left," I said. "Maybe she's always been watching."

"And she made a sign for a human?" Arlen said. "Why? Why now? Why you?"

"I'm assuming humans don't usually wander into her garden," I said. "Coincidence. That's all."

"What if it's a sign?" Anya said dreamily. "What if all of this means something?"

"What could it mean?" Arlen said. "I'm not doubting it. I watched Cara bring us through the marshlands with her eyes closed. My mind is open."

Brendan gaped at me. "You did _what_? Why were your eyes closed?"

I groaned. "The stupid faeries were freaking out and panicking because the lights kept leading us around in circles. I just... stopped paying attention to the lights and trusted the others to keep me out of the water."

"What else happened on this journey?" Brendan asked, sounding amused. "I'm sorry I missed it."

Drake leaned back on his blanket, staring up at the sky. "I wish I had missed it. I've never ached as much in my life."

"We should get going soon," Arlen said, but he sounded reluctant. "The sooner the realm is dealt with, the better."

"What's going to happen?" I asked. "Will there be more provings and votes and trials? I'm not taking part in another hunt. Just saying."

"I bear the mark," Brendan said. "I'm already king. The king of _what_ is something we have to work out, but they can't un-brand me. It's not possible."

"Funny how things work out," I said, looking from Brendan to Drake. "Two souls. Both kings now. A few weeks ago, we weren't sure any of us would survive."

"We're not safe," Brendan said. "I still have to go through the coronation. My power isn't what it should be. That may be because there are two kings."

"It's the same for me," Drake said. "I don't have a clue what to do with the power, by the way, but when you came back, it eased a little. Are we sharing it now?"

"A little," Brendan said. "But for me, it'll take the coronation to truly feel the power again. Yours will likely increase, too, until we separate into two courts. The old way was summer and winter. Seelie and Unseelie."

"I'd like to try something new," Drake said. "But this is change enough for the fae realm, I think. They have a lot of accepting to do when they realise the faery they swore in is nothing but a half-blooded solitary fae."

"But Grim told me that royalty used to regularly have children with humans. So why are humans considered lesser? If it's good enough for kings and queens, then what's changed?" I asked.

"It's true that it was the fashion for a time," Brendan said. "But if the offspring had little power, then they were considered human and shunned, sent away, despite being raised as a prince or princess. Only the powerful were hailed as royalty. That practice ended when my parents married."

"It was used as an excuse to get rid of the unwanted," Drake said scornfully. "It can easily be a good enough excuse again, especially now their true king is back from the Fade."

"The ones who refused me could turn to you," Brendan said. "You could hold a court of my enemies."

"We both could," Drake said. "But there are other issues."

Brendan nodded. "Sadler. We'll enter into discussion after the coronation. Cara's going to stay for the celebrations. Aren't you, Cara? You'll see a true faery party then." His eyes gleamed with excitement.

For a split second, I worried he was the old king again.

"Is she?" Drake's gaze landed on me. "That's not a good idea, Cara."

"Cara doesn't like being told what to do," Brendan said with a sly smile.

Shaking my head at his childishness, I didn't respond. I went to the spring to splash my face with water, wondering how on earth I was supposed to go home. I would be jumping from a world of danger and magic back into a land with only shades of grey. No colour, no love, no light, no magic. Only reality, a real life with no home, job, or education.

"You should go back," Drake said, coming up behind me. "Away from him, away from us. This place is no good for you."

"And what do I have to go back to?" I asked, daring my voice to tremble.

"A life," he said. "Something you wouldn't have here. Gruesome deaths lie this way, Cara. Look at all you've gone through already. You should go home and settle down, get married and grow old."

"Get married? And end up like my mother with an obsessive husband who can't control his actions? With children the fae will someday come back for?"

"Then don't do any of that," he said. "Travel the world, the human one. Find work that makes you look forward to waking up in the morning. Reunite with your mother and your best friend and—"

"Stop it! You don't have to do this." I faced him angrily. "If you don't want me here, all it takes is one sentence saying so. You don't need all of these excuses and reasons. I don't want to hear it. Not now. Not ever."

"I don't want to hurt you," he said softly. "That was never what I wanted."

"Then you should never have touched me."

It was a slap in the face for both of us, but we both knew it was true. If he had never touched me, never come to me, so many things would not have happened. Every action of his, every action of mine, had only pulled me tighter into the world he wanted to protect me from.

# Chapter 23

The farther we travelled, the more apprehensive I felt. I had nowhere to go after the fae. The realisation of that grew more real with each passing moment. I had taken a dark holiday, free from the pain in my real life, but my escape was almost over.

"You seemed worried," Brendan said as we rode later that day. "I'm not going to kill him, you know. Not unless he goes for me first, that is."

I shook my head. "I wasn't worrying about that. _Until now_. So thanks for that, King."

"You're so scathing of my crown," he teased. "What does it take to impress humans these days?"

"No idea."

"Why the worrying?"

"It's back to the real world for me. I have to figure out my life. I've been gone for weeks and weeks. I already lost my job. College... I don't know if I could make up this time even if I wanted to. I have no idea what to do with my life."

"What had you planned to do before... us?"

"Finish college. Get a nine-to-five. Move out eventually."

"That's it?" he said. "It sounds so... dull."

"Can't have magic and ball gowns for the rest of my life," I said. "This has been like... a stop in time. I took a break from the real world, and now I have to go back. Everything will be normal again, and I'm scared I'll..."

"Miss it?"

I leaned back against him with a sigh. "You have no idea. Before, after the first night, I felt so empty when I left. I thought I would go mad. It really is an addiction, isn't it?"

"Some say. And you think this has been an indulgence you won't recover from?"

"Remember Ronnie?"

"Who?"

"The lecturer from my college who stabbed Drake's father to death. Ring a bell?"

"Oh, that. What about it?"

"That's me in thirty years. She told me she couldn't stop thinking about her night, and she always wanted to go back. Grim thought she was jealous of me, even thought I was in danger. That's the kind of madness I'm afraid of—longing for something I can't have or feeling desperate to change the past when it's too late. I'm more afraid of that than ending up as a summer wife."

"Some people are more susceptible than others," he said. "Some summer wives last the entire summer. Others only last a month. You can't compare yourself to another. You could be the exception. You could be strong enough to beat your fears."

"And if I'm not?"

"We'll deal with that when it comes. I owe you a favour, Cara. I made you a promise to grant you a boon, and now you've gone and saved me on top of that. Whenever you need me, whatever you need me for, I'll be there for you. Do you understand how important this is? How serious a promise is from a king?"

He reached around to turn my cheek. I stared into his emerald green eyes.

He was serious for a change. The light-heartedness was gone, and a royal stood in its place. "Whenever you need me, you come and find me. I owe you, and I won't hesitate to pay that debt."

"What if you change?" I whispered.

He gave me a crooked half-smile. "Then you'll be there to remind me not to get too big for my boots."

I turned my head to swallow down the lump in my throat and the longing to wrap my arms around him. He knew how to lure me completely. "It's weird," I said after a few minutes. "You don't feel like a stranger."

"You spent more time with me than Drake," he said, sounding offended.

"I mean your real body." I laughed. "I didn't recognise you, but I do. I kind of don't know how I ever got confused before."

"You were never confused," he murmured. "Don't lie to yourself."

I laughed again and urged Dubh to run faster. We gained a fair bit of distance on the others.

"And I thought Realtín was the devil on my shoulder," I teased.

"And I knew you preferred the devils," he replied smartly.

I was about to elbow him when Dubh suddenly slowed. Brendan gripped me to stop me tumbling off. A rustling from the trees made me freeze. Reynard jumped down from a tree a few yards away, landing neatly on his feet.

"Heard there was a king coming this way," he said. "We've been waiting all day."

He looked at Dubh then at me. "And you again. I reckon we're owed a toll, so we'll take you and all."

"Who are you?" Brendan demanded, putting his hand on his sword.

Reynard smiled. "And the king walks straight into my path. So the leanan sídhe told the truth for once. Well, this saves me a trip, I must say."

"What do you want, Reynard?" Arlen snapped as his horse stepped up beside Dubh.

"You can go away," Reynard said. "Unless you want to leave the pixie as a gift."

Arlen rolled his shoulders back. Anya shifted uneasily behind him.

More of Reynard's gang appeared from between the trees. "All right," Reynard said impatiently. "Off the horses. You're coming back with me to wait on our new king. He requests an, eh, audience with the old king here." He grinned at Brendan.

I noticed that he had made no reference to Drake. I frowned. What new king wanted an audience?

A faery had a sword pointed at Anya, so Arlen reluctantly got off the horse. Reynard approached me. He raised his hand to touch my leg, but I whipped a small knife out of my boot and aimed it at his neck.

"If you ever touch me again, I'll rip out your throat," I said in a steady voice.

Laughing, he held up his hands. "Well, the little human has balls. I didn't feel _that_ last time."

I leaned back and kicked him in the face. Dubh reared up and scared away a couple of the fae. All at once, everyone was pulling out weapons and leaping into fighting positions.

"At last." Brendan leapt off Dubh, looking delighted as he pulled out his sword. He swung it at an attacking fae. "Stay on the horse!" he commanded me.

I obeyed but only because Dubh was running around and kicking fae away from us. I urged him over to Anya, meaning to help her onto the horse in case we had to run. She held her hand out to me, but a movement nearby caught her attention. I followed her horrified gaze.

Arlen was sword-fighting one fae, but another was running up behind him, aiming a spear his way. With a shriek of anguish, she ran to Arlen. At first I thought she was running to push him out of the way, but instead, she jumped behind him to protect him from the strike.

"Anya!" I screamed as the fae drove the spear into Anya's side.

Arlen turned in time to catch her as she fell. I screamed, jumped off the horse, and ran to her, pausing only to shove an attacking faery out of my way. Arlen let me hold her while he destroyed the surrounding fae, his face a mask of rage.

Reynard and his band finally fled, but Anya's eyes were glazing over. I had done this. I had started the fight.

"Anya," I whispered. "Please, please, stay awake."

Her eyes rolled in her head.

Arlen knelt and took her from me, looking more lost than I had ever seen. "Somebody do something." He looked up at Brendan, grief and pain heavy in his eyes.

"This isn't something I can help," Brendan said softly.

"The Miacha!" I cried. "They'll help her. They have so much medicine." I fumbled in my bag. "Something for the pain. I have some left. I hid them for emergencies." I found a leaf and pressed it into Anya's mouth.

Arlen tried to persuade her to chew then helped her sip some water.

"We need to cut the spear," Brendan said. "But we can't remove it. She'd die before she ever reaches the Miacha."

"What if I can't find them?" Arlen asked in a panic.

"I'll show you the way," Bekind said, surprising all of us. She had been in cat form for so long, I had almost forgotten she could be a woman, too.

"Take Dubh," I said. "You'll get there faster than the wind."

Arlen cradled Anya while Brenden and Drake tried to cut the spear to make the journey easier.

I went to Dubh. "Please take them to the Miacha," I whispered to him. "As fast as you can. Don't let her die." I had no idea if the faery horse could understand me, if he knew what was happening, but I wanted to believe.

Brendan and Drake managed to snip off the protruding spear. Anya screamed in pain, but she had swallowed the leaf. The pain wouldn't be so bad soon.

Arlen shoved me out of the way and climbed onto Dubh. Brendan carefully lifted Anya up to him. The large warrior faery cradled her in his arms as if she were the most precious cargo in the world.

"I'm so sorry," I said.

Arlen refused to look at me. "I can't speak to you right now, true child."

In that, I had everything he refused to say. It was my fault, and he agreed.

Dubh galloped away. They were soon out of sight. I looked down at the blood on my shirt, and my knees weakened. I ran my hands through my hair, devastated by the consequences of my own actions. My father had been right. I brought trouble with me everywhere I went.

"The Miacha will save her," Drake said, taking my hand. "They helped you."

"She might die before she gets there. What was I thinking?"

"You didn't do anything wrong," Brendan snapped. "He would have taken you for himself."

"The new king," I said, remembering. "What do you think is going on?"

"We'll find out soon enough," Brendan said grimly.

"Sadler," Drake said. "It has to be Sadler."

"But how?" Brendan asked. "Is he branded? A self-proclaimed king? We need to get back. We've wasted too much time. They'll be following, searching for us again. The last parts of our journey could be the most dangerous."

Brendan and I climbed onto Arlen and Anya's horse. I missed Grim. He would have known exactly what to do. For all we knew, we had sent Anya off to ride to her death.

"We have to follow them," I said, "in case they're attacked."

"They won't be," Brendan said. "Only kings are wanted today." He glanced at Drake. "But only if their name is Brendan, it seems."

"I promised her she could come with me," I said in a low voice. "Arlen loves her. I didn't realise."

"Loves her as he has for many a year," Brendan said.

"Hold on," Drake said. "Let me get higher and look around." He dismounted and climbed a tree.

While we waited, I asked Brendan. "If he's loved her for years, then why aren't they together?"

"Because he's above her," Brendan said. "She's one of the lowest class of fae. The bodyguard to the king can't love a pixie."

"So he chose you over his love? I don't understand."

"That's because you're human. It's never about choice. It's about suitability. It's about politics. He's important. She is not."

"She's important to me."

"Again, _human_."

I stared at him. "Did you ban them from being together?"

"He hasn't asked me," Brendan said. "And in case you've forgotten, I haven't been around much for a long time. I couldn't ban a thing."

"Then what makes pixies lower class? Why can't someone like Grim become king?"

"It's all about the blood and heritage," he said. "And it's not fair, but that's how it works."

He opened his mouth to say something else, but Drake climbed down from the tree, interrupting him.

"I saw the castle," he said grimly. "I didn't recognise the flags."

"Did you see a way we can escape this place?" Brendan asked.

Drake nodded. "The bridge is narrow, but it's a way out between the castle and the Hollows. We should make it. The horses might not. Are we on?"

"What about Anya and Arlen?" I asked.

"They'll head for the Hollows," Drake said. "It's the quickest way. We'll go the other way as a distraction. It's Brendan they want."

Brendan nodded. "Let's move on before the new king's people regroup and come back for us." He had on his kingly expression again. "We need to get back and find out who is trying to steal my realm."

Drake arched one eyebrow. I knew he was thinking, " _Our_ realm."

# Chapter 24

Brendan's anger emanated from him. He was in front for a change, unable to contain the need to lead. I wrapped my arms around him, shocked by the stiffness of his body.

"It'll be okay," I said. "When they see you return—"

"Nothing about this is okay," he said. "It's bad enough I have to share the realm, but with _two_ other kings? The twin queens couldn't manage to co-exist. How will three of us?"

"He's a usurper," I said. "Or he tricked them all into branding him. Or it's complete bullshit." I could tell by the tension in his back that I wasn't helping. "Tell me something. The queens had their lust and bloodlust. What do you have?"

"It's not that simple," he said, but he relaxed a little. "That bloodlust is in me."

"Like the Unseelie queen?"

"Yes, but from what I know of that one, she couldn't handle it. Her death must be a peaceful one."

I thought about that for a minute. "Your eyes are the exact same colour as the Seelie queen's were."

His shoulders shook with laughter. "I'm not surprised. Technically, we're cousins."

"Cousins? Are you serious?"

"How else could they steal the realm?" He sighed. "Although, they didn't steal it first. Their father was my uncle, my father's brother. They were close, and my uncle wasn't so ambitious. They worked. Ambition among princes never ends well."

"So what happened?"

"A woman got under his skin." He shrugged. "I can't place all the blame on her shoulders. After my parents left, he grew sickened by my behaviour. He might not have directly taken part in sending me to the Fade, but he reaped the advantages afterward. They knew he would step in and be that woman's pawn."

"Your uncle did that to you?"

"Yes, but Grim tells me his death was organised by his own daughter, so I suppose karma found him in the end. It's a blessing that his bloodline hadn't carried on further. Those queens were as wrong as a faery can be. The fact that they were murdered isn't unusual. That it took so long is quite surprising, however."

"You fae are about all the drama all the time."

"And look who's talking," he said with a derisive snort. "When have you had a drama-free life?"

I decided not to answer that. "You keep talking about bloodlines. Why is that so important? Why is there a class system amongst the fae? I mean, you love chaos. Why have an actual system?"

"It's just the way it's been for a long time. There's a hierarchy. It makes sense, no?"

"Grim is wise," I said. "But he was treated like an object, as if he didn't have a heart or a brain."

"His kind are lower than even Realtín's. I know they are partners, that they would die for each other, but others would shun them for it, see them as weak. They won't be safe amongst the fae if they flaunted their relationship. We might be all about debauchery and freedom, but none of us are free at all. Even kings follow rules."

"So rule-breaking Grim is braver than his kings? Interesting."

He chuckled. "You're a trial, Cara."

I liked being able to make him laugh. "But where do I stand in the hierarchy? If pixies and sprites and brownies are lower class, where do humans fit in?"

"At the bottom," he said softly.

"Then why have you been nice to me? Why have any of you? Wherever I go, somebody tries to look after me. Why?"

"You're a novelty. Humans don't generally wander freely around the fae realm, and some faeries never venture into the human realm. It's unusual."

"I'm like a pet. No, I'm like a Christmas puppy, and they're all excited kids who'll spoil me for a few days before getting bored."

"Well, you could put it that way if you were in a bad mood."

"So how long will it take for you to get bored with me?" I demanded, feeling prickly again. "I mean, humans are at the bottom of the food chain. A king would never be allowed to care for a human if a king's bodyguard can't even care for a pixie, so why does everyone pretend that they can do whatever the hell they want?"

"Travel does nothing good to your temperament," he said sharply. "Why do you always make everything sound like an accusation?"

"I just like to know where I stand."

He snorted. "Where you stand? You stood to lose Drake forever, but you threw yourself at him. You stood to—"

"Shut up, Brendan. I don't throw myself at people." _Well, maybe a little._ "And I didn't give up. That's a good thing. It says something about my character."

"Yes, that you're constantly in denial."

"You're lucky Dubh isn't here," I said. "He would totally bite you for me."

"Ah. Another follower to add to the list."

"Shut _up_ ," I said again, feeling miserable. "I've been separated from all of my friends. Don't you think that's punishment enough without you picking on me?"

"I think you'll find it's you who's been picking on me, but I'll let it go. You'll see them all again soon. Although, I am a little disappointed that I don't count as a friend."

"You're a king," I said spitefully. "You can't have friends. _You're not allowed_."

He sighed. "That's likely the truest thing you've said since I've returned. I'm a king again, so the old times we had are over."

"The old times? It wasn't that long ago."

"It feels like a lifetime." He glanced over his shoulder at me. "And I thought we had some fun."

That was true. I slumped a little, feeling nostalgic. "I liked when you _really_ talked to me. Not in a fae way, but in a real person way."

"Am I supposed to have any idea of what that means?"

"No. You're a king now. All of your imagination is gone."

"You wait," he said. "As soon as it's official, I will show you imagination."

"Are you going to go straight back to your home?" I asked. "Wherever that is."

"The castle, you mean?" he said, sounding mocking. "That place isn't a home to me. I don't know where I'll live. I haven't put much thought into it."

The other horse slowed until it came to a stop in front of us.

"Do you hear that?" Drake asked. "Sounds like drums."

Brendan cocked his head to the side. I listened. At first, all I heard were the leaves blowing in the trees, but then the drumbeat shuddered beneath us.

"Wow," I said. "I feel it, too."

"I have no idea what's out this way," Drake said. "Do you?"

Brendan shook his head. "Maybe there's a festival. A party or celebration of some kind."

"Should we?" Drake asked, looking mischievous.

Brendan laughed. "We could take a look. Be ready to flee if we've stumbled upon a cannibalistic ceremony though."

I really hoped he was joking.

We turned the horses in the direction of the drumbeat, stepping through a forest that grew impossibly thick. Then suddenly it changed, and the trees were lighter, willowier. The sun beamed down, and the journey became more pleasant. The Darkside couldn't exactly be called "nice," but some parts weren't completely horrible.

"I hear a fiddle," Brendan said. "I hope there'll be singing."

Drake looked at him. "What if it's—"

"We have a power they won't expect," Brendan said.

"What if it's who?" I whispered, hoping Brendan would answer.

"You'll see," was all he said.

I thumped his back. He groaned, and I tried to suppress my giggle.

"No bodyguard to protect you now, King Brendan."

"None indeed," he said. "I'd almost think you and Anya had contrived the whole thing." He glanced over his shoulder. "Now don't start pouting again. I hate when you look so sad. It's almost enough to make even a king's heart melt."

I tried to smile, but my chin wobbled. I had managed to push Anya and Líle out of my mind for a bit. It was almost as though the Darkside had plotted our separation. We would eventually return in four different groups, and that was if everything went well.

I missed Grim's observations and his advice. I even missed Realtín's annoying habits of knotting my hair and throwing things at me. I liked Drake and Brendan, but it wasn't the same.

The music grew louder, and I thought I heard laughter. We came upon a village of half-naked people, the tallest of which barely reached my shoulders.

Most of the buildings were perched on tree branches. Candles lit the windows of the small homes, and I realised with a start that it was night time. In a clearing, a number of people danced around a bonfire. Their faces were tattooed with markings, and their teeth looked far sharper than normal. One man sat cross-legged on a low branch, eating a hunk of raw meat. He bit through the bone with ease. I squeezed Brendan's waist a little tighter.

"Hallo!" a voice called out from above us. "Here to celebrate, are you?"

I looked up to see a man with long silver hair staring down at us from one of the tree homes. He grinned, and his blood-stained teeth were the sharpest I had seen yet. I glanced at the dancers, but they didn't seem to have noticed us. I prayed there would be no trouble.

"Are we welcome then?" Brendan asked.

"As long as you mean us no harm," the old man said. "Come stay the night with us. The party will run until sunrise, don't you worry. Are you in need of a meal?"

"We have some food of our own," Drake said. "We wouldn't want to intrude except to ask what you all are celebrating."

"Haven't you heard?" the old man asked. "Sadler's gone and done it. King of the Darkside, he is now. King of the Court of Chaos, he says. Can you imagine? We're celebrating the fact some control will come back to the Darkside. Perhaps some of the darkness from the Fade will disappear. Makes a place almost unliveable, it does, but a king could find a way to cure the taint."

"Oh. We hadn't heard of his crowning," Brendan said. "We've been travelling for a while, you see."

"Of course, of course," the old man said. "It's news to us all. Listen, rest yourselves wherever you like. You can join in the celebration. Nobody will mind. You might as well take advantage of the fire instead of making your own. Besides, you'll want to be celebrating, too, I suppose. Things are going to change around here. Forgotten no longer!"

After thanking him, we made our way to an empty patch of ground. Some of the people ran over and asked if they could help our horses. When we agreed, they rubbed the animals down with great care and fed them.

"Well?" Brendan said, unpacking some foodstuffs. "What do we do about this?"

"He created his own court," Drake said. "And they're happy about it."

"I saw the rift." Brendan looked around with a thoughtful expression. "The Darkside separated from the rest of the realm a long time ago because of it. Nobody cared enough to treat the problem when it counted. A ruler here could restore order. My grandfather used to tell tales of rifts that could cut through realms. If you leave them unchecked, they can swallow up the land. It's said a rift sent the daoine sídhe to us, that the giants came from a land eaten up by darkness."

"I wouldn't mind if the Darkside was swallowed up," Drake said. "It seems like a place for monsters and fools alike."

"That's unfair," I said. "You can't help the place you were born. These people are nice. I doubt they voluntarily came out this way." I sucked in a breath. "Although, I'm pretty sure some of Reynard's men used to work for the old queens. What if a different kind of fae have been gathering over here, attracted by the darkness?"

"And the chaos," Drake said.

"The chaos court," Brendan said slowly. "He always had a tendency toward melodrama. This makes me believe he's been branded already. Nobody wants to deal with the Darkside. Not even the old queens wanted the hassle."

"I thought we would deal with it," Drake said.

"And now we'll have to," Brendan said, his green eyes burning with anger. "We'll have to deal with Sadler, one way or another."

# Chapter 25

Grim was calling my name.

I sat up, my heart pounding. _A dream._ It was just a dream.

Bleary-eyed, I looked around, wondering why nobody was keeping watch. We had camped next to the tree village. A couple of men lay asleep by the smouldering bonfire, but most had gone to bed in their treehouses after the celebrations. One of the horses was asleep, while the other grazed peacefully just outside our camp. They weren't worried. Then again, they weren't Dubh.

I was about to lay down again when I heard: "Cara! This way! Hurry, there's no time!"

I stumbled to my feet and ran toward the trees in my eagerness to get to Grim. Something was wrong. Something had happened. I thought of Sorcha and Donella, of treachery and trickery.

Then I stopped, remembering the siren and all the obstacles that had tripped me up before. A shining gold light shimmered between the trees. _Realtín._ I started running again, my heart filled to bursting at the thought of seeing my little friends.

I came into a clearing and stopped short. At least an acre of withered and scorched grass lay before me. Thick brown thorns tangled around the surrounding trees as if preventing them from growing any farther in. In the centre of the clearing stood a large mirror, taller and wider than I was. The golden light was coming from the mirror. The gilded exterior glimmered under the rays emanating from the glass. And in the reflection, instead of trees or me or anything I expected, I saw Grim and Realtín, their small hands pounding against the glass from the inside.

"No," I whispered, my blood running cold. It couldn't be real.

"Help me," Grim pleaded. "Pull me out, like you did for Brendan in the Fade."

How could a mirror know about that? How could a mirror know anything at all?

I crept closer, painfully aware of the dead silence. It was as though the trees held their breath in anticipation of what I would do next. Goosebumps rose on my arms and legs. The trees didn't move. Leaves didn't rustle on the branches. I looked up, but I couldn't see the moon.

The gold light turned red. "Help me!" Realtín shrieked.

I didn't fully trust the mirror, but I kept moving. I studied Grim—the same bald head sliced with pink puckered scarring, the same solemn grey eyes. For a split second, I saw my brother's face, instead. I blinked, and he was Grim again. I took a step back, shaking my head.

Grim fell to his knees, pain and desolation in his eyes. Realtín threw herself at the glass again and again, until her body was mangled, her wings covered in blood.

"Realtín!" I touched the glass with both hands.

My fingers slid through as if nothing were there. I could see my hands in the reflection. Grim and Realtín clutched at my fingers and pulled. But I couldn't feel their touch. I tried to pull back, but I was stuck fast. I felt my skin sliding across my muscles and sinews and into the mirror. I stared at my arms in horror, but there was nothing wrong with them. It wasn't my skin I was losing. The mirror was taking something else.

Something tugged at my insides, propelling me forward, closer to the mirror. The air grew colder. I choked out a sob. Could I be losing a part of myself? My mind, my heart, my soul? The sensation was just like the one I'd felt near the Wall of Souls.

Frantic, I dug my heels into the ground and leaned backward, struggling to free my hands. Whatever was taking from me clamped down harder, but I was determined. And scared. My human emotions sometimes gave me an advantage in the realm of the fae, so I welcomed them.

I thought about everything I had ever feared, and I willed it out of me. Darkness pulled away from my skin, the emotion so strong that it became tangible in the chaos of the Darkside. I thought I heard a shriek of pain. The grip on my arms loosened abruptly.

I fell back onto my arse. Trembling, I sat there, unable to do much else. I felt incomplete and weak, like a shadow drifting on the surface of the earth. Like a shade's memory. My reflection was transparent and shaky.

The mirror whirled and screamed, playing scenes of horror—deaths and disaster and an army dressed in black. I wrapped my arms around my knees, and pulled them to my chest. The glass was pristine except for a missing shard in the top right-hand corner, and the images looked real enough to touch.

Grim and Realtín's broken bodies floated down a river red with blood. Líle was mad, beating her head against walls until her skull imploded. Anya was burned on a funeral pyre, only a single watcher there to see her remains turn to dust. Brendan and Drake faced each other with swords, armies behind their backs. Their deaths led to a never-ending battle. The cat was skinned alive and roasted on an open fire. Dubh was decapitated by someone who looked like Reynard.

And finally, I saw myself. I stood in the mirror with blood on my hands. I was older and unharmed, so the blood wasn't mine. A black wedding band surrounded my ring finger. A black stone decorated a finger on my other hand. A black crown of thorns clung to my head.

My reflection-self aged before my eyes. Wrinkles deepened around the eyes and mouth. My forehead grew heavy with worry lines. My hair fell out even as it turned to a dark grey colour. The life left my eyes until they were cold and dark. Evil. I lay in a large bed, completely alone. Hooded figures surrounded the bed, but they turned away, all but one. The last stood there for the longest, staring at my aging body. I lifted my hand in a pleading way, either desperate for forgiveness or perhaps affection. But the figure walked away without looking back. Tears rolled down the cheeks of my reflection-self, then my chest rose and fell with one last shuddering breath.

The sun rose in the clearing. Sounds filled the air again. The mirror was gone. I wasn't sure if I had fallen asleep or snapped out of a bad vision. The memories of what I had seen engulfed me. Were they fate or possibilities? _Blood on my hands._ Was that a metaphor, or would my actions destroy my faery friends? Or was it intended to scare me into leaving? Worse... was it a sign I was truly losing my mind?

"Cara, what's wrong? Did something happen?" Drake knelt by me, his voice soft with concern.

I stared at the spot where the mirror had stood. The grass was bloody, as if everything that had happened in the mirror had seeped into the earth—and nourished it, if the newly green grass there was any sign.

"What's going on?" Brendan asked.

Drake responded, "She won't speak. She won't look at me. What happened to her?"

Brendan put a hand on my chin and made me look at him. I saw through him and watched his death instead. I whimpered as maggots ate his eyes.

His decaying mouth moved. "Make her sleep, Drake."

"How?"

Brendan made a sound of exasperation. "You have the power, and you can't use it. What tricks are those priestesses planning? Use your will. Concentrate on her, close her eyes, and tell her to sleep awhile. Pull everything that's in you out and wrap it into the words. You'll understand when you try."

Brendan lifted me into his arms. I stared at a bloody sky while they peered down at me.

"You're all going to die," I whispered.

They exchanged worried glances. Drake touched my eyelids, forcing my eyes shut. It didn't matter. The images still played inside my eyelids.

"Sleep, Cara," Drake said. "Sleep and heal."

I heard the final word in a dark dream. I clung onto it, hoping it would free me from the nightmares.

When I awoke, the sky was dark. I ached too much to move. Drake and Brendan sat across from each other by the fire, speaking quietly.

"We have to leave soon," Brendan said. "They could still track us from the trace you left back there."

"Maybe we should wait until she wakes up," Drake said. "To question her."

"And if she doesn't wake?"

"Why wouldn't she?"

"You barely know what you're doing. The fact that you let her come out here in the first place says it all."

"Oh, here we go," Drake said. "Finally gotten over hinting at it? I didn't _let_ her do anything. She's her own person. She does her own thing. I followed her and brought help. It was the best I could do in the circumstances."

"Oh, yes. I forgot," Brendan said. "You were too busy taking the crown to watch over the one human in your care."

"She's not a child," Drake insisted. "She doesn't need to be surrounded by watchers."

"In the human world, she's not a child, and she's more aware than most, but in this realm, she's as innocent as a babe. What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking about the realm. Don't tell me you wouldn't have done the same thing!"

"I would never have left her alone long enough to give her a chance to come up with the idea." Brendan hesitated. "And I would have sent others to the Fade for you."

"Just because you lived in my body for a while doesn't give you the right to tell me what to do."

Brendan laughed. "Is that what I'm doing?"

"Constantly." But I heard the smile in Drake's voice.

I let out a sigh of relief.

"Are you awake?" Brendan called out.

"Kind of." I sat up and stretched.

Drake brought me a cup of water. I drank eagerly then excused myself so I could head into the woods to find a decent place to pee. I had lost a lot of my dignity lately, I realised.

Even after my unwilling sleep, the visions and dreams were as clear as ever. I returned to the others and sat beside the fire. Brendan handed me some kind of murky-looking soup. It didn't taste too bad, and at least it was warm.

I looked around at the unfamiliar camp. "Where are the treehouses?"

"We took you away in case they hurt you," Brendan said. "And because we were forced to use magic. It hasn't been a pleasant journey. I'm glad you're awake."

"What happened?" Drake asked.

I sighed and stirred my soup. "I don't know."

"Cara—" Brendan began.

I held up my spoon. "I don't know if it was real or a trick or... if I was just losing my mind."

"What were you doing out there?" Brendan asked. "Away from camp."

I stared at the fire. "I woke up because I thought I heard Grim calling me. I didn't trust it, but then I saw gold light. Just like Realtín. I had to find out what was happening."

"And what did you find?" Drake asked.

"A mirror."

They exchanged a glance.

"I know." I dropped my bowl and rested my head in my hands. Neither faery said a word. I peeked up at them. "I'm losing my freaking mind, aren't I?"

"Just..." Brendan looked at Drake.

"What happened then?" Drake asked.

"I saw Grim and Realtín trapped in the mirror. I mean, I knew it couldn't be, but this is the fae realm. Pretty much anything is possible, right?" I squeezed my eyes shut, remembering. "Grim looked like my brother for a second, and I backed off, but then Realtín started throwing herself at the glass, and I couldn't..." I opened my eyes and stared at them. "I couldn't _leave_ her. So I touched the glass. But my hands passed through it. I could literally see my hands _in_ the mirror. I saw Grim and Realtín touch me, but I didn't feel their hands. I felt... something else."

"What did you feel?" Brendan asked.

"I felt like something was being stolen from me. I thought it was killing me, but nothing looked different. It was all on the inside. I felt like a piece of me was dying. Like... I don't know. I panicked and got free, and then the mirror starting showing me these kinds of visions. Everyone was dying. All of you. And I had blood on my hands. It was like a warning or... I don't know."

Drake looked at me, fear mingled with pity.

I inhaled sharply. "It never happened, did it? I'm losing my mind."

Drake's eyes grew wide as he looked at Brendan, but Brendan shook his head. "Not necessarily. You're right. Anything can happen here."

"Brendan—" Drake began.

Brendan talked over him. "There used to be a story about a mirror that could steal your soul if you stared too long into its reflection. I remember reading about it as a boy. It was a relic of the old days, and nobody knew if it still existed." He held my gaze. "You are not losing your mind, Cara."

One glance at Drake clearly showed he didn't agree.

# Chapter 26

I squeezed Drake's waist even tighter as we approached the bridge, which consisted of a couple of fallen and twisted trees crossed over each other and tied with a rotting rope. The other side was a narrow cliff path that we would probably fall off of if we breathed wrong. Under the bridge, a river spewed out of the mountains like wet fireworks—part waterfall, part permanent tornado.

"This is crazy," I shouted over the roar of the water. "Absolutely fucking crazy."

The horse danced back from the violent spray.

"The horses might refuse to cross it," Drake said with a hopeful note in his voice.

"Reynard and his men are watching the Hollows," Brendan said. "They have to be. Nella obviously traded information to pass, and now they're trying to take us to that castle. I'm not going to let myself become some captive of Sadler's while he takes over the entire realm. We're going this way."

"Or die trying?" Drake added grimly.

"There used to be bridges," Brendan murmured.

"Once," Drake said. "But when the Darkside was noticed and continued to grow, people panicked. They tore down the bridges because they thought it was some kind of plague that could be carried. All of the people who lived beyond were stranded. That must be why this bridge exists."

"But this is all the Darkside, too," I said, confused.

"It kept spreading," Drake said. "But it was never a plague, at least not in the way they thought back then."

Brendan stared across the river. "And it's still spreading."

I looked down at the water. It appeared as though a chunk of the mountain's rock had been simply blown out of the way by the power of the falls. The water was frantic and wild. It had eroded a path all along the mountain range. "We could follow the river and see if there's another place to cross. This might not be the bridge the Watcher told us about. The river has to slow down at some point, right?"

"It'll take too long," Brendan said. "We could get caught up in Sadler's games before we even reach a way to cross. This is our best chance."

"Let's take a look around first," Drake said. "Let the horses get used to the noise."

Brendan nodded. "I'll go east; you two look west. We'll meet here again in an hour."

Drake pulled on the reins. Our horse turned eagerly away from the waterfall gone wrong.

"Are you all right?" Drake asked. His words were clipped. He hadn't been as comfortable with me since Brendan's return. He didn't believe Brendan's story about a mirror and had insisted I ride with him all day. I was pretty sure he was trying to figure out if I was losing my mind or not.

"I'm not going to strip off and run into the woods to become a wildcat lady, Drake."

"I didn't say... I'm just checking. You were asleep for a long time."

"I needed to sleep. Thanks, by the way. I kept seeing things. It was freaking me out. I felt better when I woke up. Better than I have in a while, actually."

"Good." He pointed across the water. "Over there is the desert. Hopefully, any time we spend there will be brief."

"We were there before," I reminded him.

"What we passed through was just the outer edge. The worst of the desert is a wasteland. We'll never make it through if we take the wrong path. The mountain cuts through a portion of the desert, so we shouldn't get lost unless we're unlucky enough to experience a major sandstorm. We'll soon be back in the Great Forest, and from there, it's easy going."

"This place is huge. I mean, we've only been to certain parts. What's beyond?" I pointed. "Over there. Or there. What else is out here?"

"Nothing you would want to see. More of the Darkside in one direction, more of the wastelands in the other."

"But people live there?"

"Forgotten tribes, mostly. Some exiles. So-called lesser beings. Worse, perhaps."

"But where do you live? And Brendan? And all of the fae that will swear fealty to you?"

"The Great Forest is the edge of neutral territory. It's huge, and some fae live there, but most have moved to cities. You forget, but many live in the human realm. They just mask themselves in their own magic. It's easier than living in the fae realm. Others are like I was, flitting in and out of either realm at will. You remember the ceremony? Beyond that are where more territories divide. There are neutral places, and then there are the courts."

"Are there castles? Like the one we saw? I mean, what is normal life like?"

He considered that as we walked. "Life is tough for anyone who isn't a part of the court. And I mean a powerful part of the court. Not the pixies or anyone like that. The Queens built their own castles on mountains that faced each other. There's an ocean between them, and then both of their lands beyond, but they liked to keep an eye on each other as much as they hated seeing each other. Their relationship must have been complicated." He shrugged. "The old castle, the one Brendan's family owned, has been left alone by all but the Irish fae. They protect it, even now."

"But you're Irish."

"When I say the Irish fae, I really mean the court of old—Brendan's people, the ones who have always been here. The queens and their people branched away from the term when they took over, even though they came from the same bloodlines. That's the way to distinguish new and old, the betrayed clan from the newly risen one. The old fae, the ones loyal to Brendan's parents, were collectively known as the Irish fae."

"And you were solitary, not loyal to anyone?"

"That's what they say."

"Where are you going to live?" I asked. "When you get back, where are you going to go?"

"I'll find somewhere. An opportunity will present itself."

We had come back to the bridge again. "It's a good thing we're a small group. I doubt everyone would have made it over."

"It's good that some chose to leave."

I didn't like the tone of his voice. "And you don't think it's strange that Dymphna left?"

"Why would it be strange?"

"The daoine sídhe have her daughter. They made her come with you to prove herself. Why would she stop before the end?"

"She didn't."

"You made her go?"

"I asked her to keep an eye on the others. That's why she left."

My heart raced. He wasn't telling me everything. His tone had turned hollow, the way it did when he avoided the truth. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole story.

Brendan rode toward us, taking away my chance to pry. "There's a large group nearby. We need to leave now. If we're separated, head to the Great Forest. We're sure to fall in together again. And if not, we'll see each other when we find our way out." He turned and cantered toward the bridge.

Drake nodded. "Hold on tight." He kicked the horse into a trot.

The water roared in my ears, making me lightheaded. My fingers dug into Drake's waist. I would fall. We would all fall. Dubh had been way more secure and steady than the perfectly ordinary horse we were riding. I almost smiled at the thought. In the human realm, the horse would be a monster, but it paled into a puny weakling next to Dubh.

Brendan urged his horse onto the bridge. The animal reared, but Brendan managed to force it to move slowly across the wood. The trees stayed secure, but the trunks were wet from the spray.

"Holy mother of..." I shook my head as Brendan's horse slipped a little. "I can't do this."

"We have to," Drake said firmly. "Cara, if Reynard's men take you... anything could happen. You would rather die than let that happen. Do you understand me?"

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying if it all goes wrong, and there's no way out, use your dagger on yourself before you become a captive of Sadler's."

I understood. I wanted to scream and cry like a baby, but I understood.

Finally, Brendan passed onto the other side. There, his horse stood on a flat ledge, its flanks shaking and wet. He waved at us.

"I hear something," I muttered as Drake snapped the reins.

The horse followed the other's path well enough. I made the mistake of looking down. There was a massive drop. The wild water would kill us if falling against the rocks on the way down didn't. The noise was unbelievable, and the spray was so strong, the drops of water felt like needles on my exposed skin.

The sun was high. My back ached. I clenched my teeth so hard my jaw hurt. I held on as tight as I dared to Drake. His wings were hidden under his cloak, and I was afraid I would damage them. Whimpering when our horse stumbled, I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Easy," Drake said. "Easy there."

The horse shook beneath us, but she kept moving. I opened my eyes and realised we were more than halfway across. I breathed a sigh of relief when I caught sight of Brendan. His hands were on his head, and he was biting his lip. I knew how he felt. It was agonising to watch and not be able to help if something happened.

"We're almost home," Drake whispered. "Almost safe."

I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or the horse. And then we were across, all of us laughing jerkily and rattling off comments that didn't make much sense.

"And now for the hard part," Brendan joked.

As we moved across the flat ledge, I saw what he meant. The mountain was impassable, apart from one tiny path that wound down and alongside the desert. On the horizon, I saw green. The Great Forest was within sight. We followed Brendan along the ledge, moving slowly because the path was so narrow and uneven.

"This is worse than the bridge," I said.

"It's not as wet at least. This is the safe part. I promise." Drake cleared his throat. "You can hold on to me, Cara. You don't have to worry."

I leaned against him. I wanted to believe him, so I did. The ledge widened and curved around the rock face until I could plainly see the Hollows again.

Then I spotted an opening. "There's another path."

Drake looked around. "Where?"

"Can't you see it?" I pointed. "It's small, barely big enough for a horse, but it's there."

After a moment, he said, "You're right. I see it. The access probably comes from the Hollows." He raised his voice slightly. "Brendan, move!"

Brendan didn't look back or ask questions. He urged his horse on as fast as he dared, given the unsteady ground. We had almost reached the end of the mountain path. The descent into the desert area was steep, too steep for a horse, but we were about to ride straight ahead on flat patches of sand broken up by grass. The drop down made my mouth dry. The horses had to walk close to the edge until the mountain range came to an end.

Someone shouted behind us. I refused to look back. The horses moved into a gallop. Something hot hit my shoulder. Startled, I let go of Drake and reached for my back. I fell off the horse, and as I hit the ground, I curled into a ball in an attempt to avoid the horse's hooves. The horse leapt away, kicking me off the side of the ledge in the process.

Screaming, I tumbled backward down the steep sandy hill. I hit the bottom and lay there, terrified and winded. Looking up, I saw our two horses being chased by Reynard's gang. Drake and Brendan were leading them away from me. At least I hadn't managed to break my neck on the way down.

The severity of the situation kicked in. I was alone... in the fae realm, in the Darkside, in a desert. I had no hope of finding Brendan and Drake. I had no food, no shelter, no water, and no hope.

I was completely and utterly screwed.

# Chapter 27

I sat up slowly. I ached all over, and I was covered with grazes and bruises, not to mention the swipe on my calf that always managed to start bothering me by the end of the day. But the worst pain was in my shoulder. I put my hand up there and felt a stick protruding from above my shoulder blade. An arrow? The shaft must have broken off in my tumble. My fingers came away bloody.

I moaned because I knew what I had to do, but I was not looking forward to it. After wiping my bloody hand on my trousers, I gripped the piece of wood. Blowing out a breath, I gritted my teeth and yanked hard, squealing with pain. The arrow moved about an inch before it stuck fast. I wiped my sweat-sticky fringe out of my eyes and rested a minute before trying again.

The next try, I swore loudly as I pulled, but it barely budged. After another break and a sharp tug, the arrow came free. The missile was thin and sharp, and the person who had shot it at me was a massive prick. Aggravated, I tossed it away. My bundle was still on the horse. All I had was the small dagger in my boot and the broken arrow I had just thrown away.

I struggled to my feet and gazed up at the slope. It might as well have been a straight wall. I made a couple of attempts to climb back up, but I kept sliding back down. Besides, up meant danger. I needed to find another way.

My side hurt, my shoulder burned, and my mouth was drier than the sun-soaked sand stretching behind me. Still, the river was nearby. I decided it would be stupid to wander in the sand with creepy tunnellers hiding under my feet. If I followed the river away from Sadler's men, then maybe I would have water, at the very least. If I stayed were I was, Sadler's men would eventually come for me. I moved away from the desert and back in the direction we had come, following the sound of the thundering waves until I reached the water's edge.

On the other side, I could have probably found food, but the river was huge and impassable. I was stuck with the sand. After gingerly testing the water, I discovered it was fresh and didn't offer any weird aftereffects. I washed the sand, sweat, and blood from my body, trying to avoid the currents threatening to pull me into the centre.

I spent extra time trying to clean the wound in my shoulder. The skinny arrow hadn't caused much damage. The hole felt about as big around as a pencil. The Darksiders hadn't been aiming to kill. Still, it was bleeding, and I worried about infection. I found the arrowhead again and used it to tear off a corner of my cloak. I pressed that against the wound then covered it with my shirt and hoped for the best.

I walked along the river for the rest of the day. I was too scared to wander into the desert, and I had nothing to use to carry water from the river. I hoped Brendan and Drake were okay, but at least they knew how to find their way home. If I bumped into anyone, I was likely dead. If I could just make it back into neutral territory without getting lost in the desert, I had a much better chance of survival.

The sun beat down on my back. Sweat trickled down my body until my skin felt raw and irritated. I found some grey-toned berries on some bushes growing on the riverbank. They looked okay, but I only ate a handful, just in case. I was tired and hungry, but at least I had water.

When the sun started to set, I saw black shapes writhing around in the water. There was no way I was going to sleep next to that. Spotting some patches of sparse trees ahead and a few metres from the river, I decided to find shelter there. The tree trunks and branches were thick and sturdy. I took that as a good sign. I thought about sleeping propped up against a tree trunk, but when darkness fell completely, lights appeared in the distance. Panicked, I climbed a tree, curled around a branch, and waited.

About fifteen minutes later, a male voice said, "They have to be around here somewhere. I know I saw footprints on the riverbank. If he would just tell us how many there are, then maybe I could tell for sure."

"Well, you're not a tracker, are you?" a husky voice replied. "Sending out the entire court was pointless. I say they're long gone."

"Sadler won't be happy."

"Then be grateful you're not responsible for this. Reynard's a dead man if he doesn't think of something."

As both men passed through the trees, I caught sight of their faces by the light of their torch. They were both dark haired and dark skinned, looking almost identical. Their wings beat rapidly, belying their casual conversation. They were too slight and slender to be warriors, so who were they?

More lights appeared, but they seemed to be sticking close to the river. I waited for a long time, afraid to move, but nobody else approached my little patch of trees.

I dozed in the tree then was jolted awake when I almost fell off my branch. I had never wished for fae magic more in my life. Afraid of falling asleep again, I watched the lights recede until I couldn't see them anymore.

At first light, I tentatively made my way back to the river. I saw horse tracks and footprints, but no one was in sight. I was lucky they had taken such a half-arsed approach, but that didn't make sense. Why would Sadler send everyone out looking for us, even fae who weren't warriors or trackers, but refuse to tell them who exactly they were looking for, or even how many?

I drank some water and cleaned my shoulder, which was aching and hot to the touch. Exhausted, I started walking again, though I had no idea where I was going. The river separated with a stream leading in the direction I wanted to go, back toward the Great Forest. So I turned and began following the small branch.

"Don't you want to play a while?"

I froze. Slowly, I turned, biting down on my urge to scream. Bobbing in the water was a woman covered in grey and green scales. Her nipples rested against her belly, her bare breasts partially covered by dark seaweed-like hair. The lower half of her body consisted of about a dozen tentacles that skimmed across the water, reaching for me. I stepped back, but the weird appendages stopped short at the river's edge, curling just under the water.

"No need to stare," she said. "Come swim. The water is good today."

"Um... I have to go. I have somewhere I need to be."

Her tentacles sank lower, drawing half of her torso under the water. With just her head above water, she seemed a lot less scary. "So I've heard. You're a popular little girl today. We've heard so many whispers lately."

"I'm nobody."

She laughed, and in the bushes on the other side of the river came a chorus of laughter. "There is that," she whispered, her eyes bulging.

I stood up straighter. "Does the stream lead to the Great Forest?"

"I've never been," she said. "And that's where you want to go? Are you certain you're in the place you're supposed to be?"

"Not entirely," I said, swallowing my fear. "But I have to make the best of what I have."

She nodded as if satisfied. "Follow the stream then. It's weak and pathetic, but it'll take you on your path. At least some of the way. But beware the clurichaun. They like to get in the way."

She disappeared under the water until all that remained was seaweed floating on the surface. I took a few steps before breaking into a run. More laughter rang out, but I didn't slow.

The stream led around the desert. The ground grew greener and greener until it seemed as though I had bypassed the desert almost completely. I came to an apple tree and picked up some fruit that had fallen on the ground. I tried to eat some, feeling lucky that I had found some food, but the first few bites made me want to throw up.

Sometime later, the stream divided. The main fork went through a sandy section, while the smaller fork led into a patch of green grass. I stood there, thinking hard, until I noticed the flowers.

White flowers grew on either side of the main fork—Brighid's flowers, the very ones that had been in her garden. But the lure of the grass was too great. I took off after the tributary, walking faster. But the offshoot ended abruptly, right in the centre of a patch of green. The heat was so intense that the water seemed to be drying up in front of my eyes.

I ran back to the fork. My legs felt like jelly by the time I reached it. The sun was setting, so I crawled under a bush to sleep. It wasn't pleasant, but the flowers made me feel safe. I drifted off almost immediately.

In the morning, my shoulder was blazing hot. I was pretty sure it was infected. The sweat rolling down my back could have been from a fever. I had to get back into neutral territory before I collapsed.

The stream broadened, and every so often, I would spot a single white flower. I stuck one in my hair without really knowing why. My stomach rumbled, and my feet ached. I saw trees in the distance. Even if they weren't part of the Great Forest, I might find shelter, perhaps even find some fruit.

The stream moved away from the trees that evening. I abandoned the white flowers—as if some faery goddess was actually marking the correct path with flowers—and kept going toward the trees. They were farther away than I expected and not the Great Forest at all. The Great Forest was green, but the foliage around me was russet coloured. Everything was red, gold, orange, and glistening. It was beautiful.

The path narrowed then ended at a large clearing. The golden trees surrounded the field, and in the centre were some statues. Curious, I moved closer.

Twelve stone figures danced in a circle, forever frozen in time. They looked so lifelike that I wondered if they had been real at some point. I weaved between the statues, amazed by the detail. I could almost hear the swishing of their dresses and the clicking of their heels.

One of the statues held out her hand as if beckoning me. I reached out and touched it, and the head moved slightly. Startled, I jumped, still holding the hand, and the arm broke off at the wrist.

Horrified, I stepped away from the statue. It followed me, the face distorted with rage. I heard the clumping of stone, and I sprinted around the broken statue and headed back toward the path. The noise followed, but as soon as I reached the path, everything returned to eerie silence again. I chanced looking over my shoulder. Once again, the statues were frozen, but their positions had changed.

I realised I still held the broken hand. Freaked, I flung it onto the grass. It slowly moved, digging the tips of its fingers into the soil and pulling itself along the ground. The disembodied hand made its way back to the statues.

I decided I really didn't need to sleep under a tree, and that I was going to trust those white flowers. I found the stream again, and lay down near it. When I slept, I dreamt of hands that crawled all over my body.

The next morning, I trudged along the water's edge, determined to find some decent food. I'd had my fill of the sparse berries. I needed some substance. The weather cooled a bit, and I was soon walking on grass again, having left all traces of the desert behind me. Bekind had led us on a winding route to escape attention on our way to the Fade, but the trip seemed a lot quicker on my more direct path.

In the afternoon, the white flowers disappeared, and I entered the Great Forest. The air felt cleaner, lighter, and the sun wasn't as intense.

Unsure of where to go, I kept moving in an attempt to find a road that might lead me somewhere familiar. But my progress was slow due to a lack of food and energy. I travelled through the forest until I caught the aroma of cooking meat. My mouth watered instantly. As I walked toward the source of that heavenly smell, I flattened the feelings threatening to erupt out of my chest. The more fatigue I experienced, the less I was able to control myself. If any fae felt my emotions, I was screwed.

I snuck through the trees and saw three short fae sitting around a campfire. Their backs were to me, and two rabbits were skewered over the fire. I thought of my father, and how I had learned not to react around him, and put on my game face. I crept nearer. The faeries were too close to the rabbits for me to steal one. I needed to distract them somehow. But what if only one moved away from the food?

"We're willing to share!" one called without turning. "No need to lurk in the shadows all evening."

I froze, cursing under my breath. How did they know?

The one in the middle looked over his shoulder. "Come share our meal." He had a large crooked nose and small beady eyes.

I put up my hood and stepped out from behind the tree. Big Nose beckoned me over to them. Shaking off my fear, I strode as if I owned the world. That was what Brendan would do.

"Sit," Big Nose said. "Would you like to share our rabbit?"

I nodded, making sure not to dislodge my hood. They weren't warriors or guards, but I kept my weapon close at hand, just in case.

Big Nose removed a rabbit and sliced off a haunch. I took the offered piece and devoured the meat, sucking every morsel from the bone.

"Where are you headed?" the fae on the right asked, his dark eyes full of curiosity. Though he appeared to be the youngest, his hair was snow white. The colour reminded me of Reynard, and Snowy hadn't stopped staring at me since I had joined them.

"To swear fealty," I blurted.

"Same here," Snowy said. "Eh, which king would you be swearing for?"

"I'll judge that when I get there." I wondered what I would do if Drake and Brendan decided I had to swear fealty to one of them. That would be a little awkward.

"A sensible answer at least," the third fae said. His hood had been tugged even farther down over his face than mine. The others looked surprised to hear him speak. "These are strange days when three kings appear almost at once."

"There is such a thing as a false king," I whispered.

The three of them stared at me for so long that I grew worried.

Big Nose eventually spoke. "Well, you're welcome to share our camp tonight. You're a thin little thing. You could ride with us tomorrow. We're all heading to the same place, after all."

"Thanks," I said. "Is it far?"

He frowned. "A few days' journey, at least."

"And the main road?"

"About a day to the north. Were you lost then?"

I just shrugged noncommittally. They all nodded as if they understood my reluctance to answer. They drank some spirits and later bedded down beside the fire. I waited until the snoring of the three fae was loud enough to cover my escape.

I stole the remainder of the second rabbit and a horse. I felt like a bit of an arse, but I couldn't trust anyone. And apparently, nobody could trust me.

# Chapter 28

The horse wasn't as fast as Dubh, but it was a breeze to control. That got me wondering about faery types and animals and how anybody could keep track—not to mention the ridiculous class system and rules about who could and couldn't be together. I wasn't sure how it had passed right over my head how strict the fae could be about certain things. It was easy to forget when they acted as though they did whatever they liked, whenever they felt like it.

Nourished by rabbit, I rode north for a day and a half, only stopping briefly to allow the horse to rest. When I found a road, I followed it from a distance—close enough to not lose my way, far enough to run if the wrong person came along. I was sure I was in neutral territory. I might not have been going in the right direction at all, but staying still was a sure-fire way to get caught by the wrong people. My oh-so-clever plan was to keep moving until I couldn't move anymore.

A trumpet sounded, followed by lots of raised voices and mocking laughter. I stopped and dismounted. After wrapping the reins around a tree, I climbed as high as I dared to see what was going on.

A whole troop of fae were passing on the road. Most rode on horseback, surrounding a couple of carriages adorned with black flags. Behind the second carriage, a small faery was being towed by a rope around his hands. He was having trouble keeping up with the conveyance, but if he fell, he would be dragged. I bit my lip, feeling completely helpless.

A broad figure on a chestnut horse cracked a whip. The tied-up faery pleaded for mercy. By his howls as they moved out of sight, I guessed none came.

I figured those were the kinds of fae pledging their loyalty to Sadler. I had also assumed that Drake and Brendan together would take care of Sadler quickly, but if the Darksiders were already celebrating...

I had seen enough. I couldn't go near the road again. I climbed down and untied the horse, but when I lifted my leg to mount, a hand gripped my thigh and yanked me back. A second hand grabbed my shoulder as I fell, knocking me onto my back. I stared up at two men who weren't much taller than Grim.

One sneered and planted a foot on my stomach. "Now where do you think you're going?" He held an axe over his shoulder.

His companion let out a loud belch, and I could smell the alcohol even from my place on the ground.

"Great," I said. "Here come the seven freaking dwarves."

The men glanced at each other, looking puzzled.

Axe looked at Belcher and gestured at me. "What are you waiting for?"

Belcher frowned then bent over and pulled the white flower from my hair. He swallowed hard.

Axe knocked the flower out of his hands. "It's nothing. D'ya hear me?"

Belcher looked miserable.

"Uh, can I get up?" I asked.

Axe removed his foot. "You can." He nodded at his friend. "Get her horse before anyone sees." He kicked the sole of my shoe. "Come on you. We've claimed you."

I sat up. "You can't just—"

He swung the axe in a neat arc, stopping it right above my head. He arched his eyebrows.

"Okay," I said meekly. "I'm coming." I grabbed the flower, shoved it under my cloak, and got to my feet.

They led me deeper into the forest, Axe showing off the entire time. We came to a cave at the foot of a hill. Sitting outside were a bunch of men who looked a lot like Axe. Two of them came running toward us.

"She's mine!" Axe bellowed, swinging his axe around.

The pair skidded to a stop, looked from me to Axe, then shrugged.

Axe turned to me. "Who do you belong to?" he shouted.

"Axe... uh, you?"

He nodded. "You heard her!" He came closer to me and lowered his voice. "Do you cook at all?"

I shook my head.

"A pity." He glanced over my shoulder at Belcher. "Leave the horse and tie her up. Away from the cave. Don't want to be tempting nobody."

He promptly forgot about me and went off to drink with his boys. Belcher took my hand and led me to a tree. He made me sit down, then he wrapped some rope around my torso, strapping me to the tree. He didn't bother tying my hands or feet. He, too, joined the others, ignoring the horse.

The woman at the river had said the clurichaun would delay me. Maybe Axe-boy and his buddies were clurichaun. More appeared until there were more than two dozen of them lounging around the fire. As the men grew drunker, their voices became louder. I listened as I worked to slip the dagger out of my boot, grateful on many levels that they were too stupid to think of frisking me.

"I'm telling you. Two kings, it is."

"Three of them now."

"I heard five."

"Who cares? They'll all be as lousy as the queens were."

"And they're all after the same thing." Axe peed against the wall of the cave. "Looking for a human, they are."

All eyes turned to me. I shrank back, trying to look as small as possible. But I made sure I kept the dagger hidden under my leg.

"That scrawny thing?" one of them asked.

Axe roared with laughter. "I'm gonna get me some ransom, so I am."

"Ransom? For a human?"

"They'll take your axe and use it on your head, you fool."

Axe sat back in his place. "We'll see about that. I'm going to strap her to the horse and take her to the Darksider. They say he swims in his gold."

"And what are you going to do with an ocean of gold?"

"Buy more ale and a better axe."

They laughed and drank until they were no longer coherent. I started sawing through the rope. I wasn't about to be handed over to Sadler.

The only sound was snoring, so I made a run for it as soon as the rope dropped. I went straight to where I had last seen the horse. Fortunately, he hadn't wandered far. I jumped on his back just as someone shouted behind me. I dug my heels into the horse's sides, and he soon began to gallop.

After a while, I spotted a white flower and then another. The horse kept going as if someone were chasing us, but I didn't see or hear anyone. I decided to put my trust into something as completely off the wall as wild-growing flowers and urged the horse to follow the path the white flowers may or may not have been marking out for me. Strangely, whenever I glanced over my shoulder, the flowers had disappeared. I was definitely losing my mind.

The trees changed again. The horse stopped, jerking his head against the bit in his mouth. I slid off his back and clutched the reins. The trees were huge, unrecognisable, and greener than anything I had ever seen. I touched a verdant leaf hanging from a low branch. It left a streak of sap on my palm.

"Are you lost?"

I almost jumped out of my skin and whirled around in a circle. Nobody was there. A gruff laugh behind me caused me to twirl again. A face protruded from the tree trunk.

"Holy mother of..." I covered my mouth and took a step back.

The horse reared in a panic. My shoulder hurt from the effort of holding the reins tight enough for him to remain. I was pretty sure it was bleeding again.

"No need for fear," the voice said.

The horse settled down almost immediately. The face disappeared, and a tall willowy male stepped right out of the tree.

"Are you some kind of hedge-witch?" I asked.

"Hedge-witch?" He laughed. "I am a Guardian. And I ask again. Are you lost?"

I nodded. "I'm kind of... being followed. And I don't know where I am."

"Where do you wish to go?"

"I need to find... two kings." My cheeks flushed red. "We were travelling together and got separated."

He stretched out his dark brown arms. "Where did you travel to?"

"The Fade," I whispered.

"That was quite a journey." He stepped past me and leaned against the tree next to his. "Find the two kings." He looked up.

I followed his gaze. A small semi-transparent female stepped out of the tree and moved along a branch until she reached the next tree. She pressed her hand against the wood then went back to her trunk. A second female crawled out of the next tree, and so it went on until I could see them no longer.

After a few minutes, the Guardian cocked his head. "They're not so far, but the path quickens with my will. Do you wish me to lead you to them?"

"I... would you?"

"Of course. I am not fae, nor do I believe humans are lesser. I am ancient, and the will of the forest is mine. They are travelling along the eastern route. I will take you to that path. If you wish to find your kings, you must wait there in silence. The forest is full of enemies today."

I nodded. "I noticed."

"I ask for payment," he said sternly.

I winced. "All I have is a dagger and this horse, but the horse isn't even mine. I mean—"

"I want the flower. Give it to me."

"How did you even...? Fine. Take it." I took the flattened flower out from beneath my robe and handed it to him.

He stared at it in wonder before laying it at the foot of his tree. Within seconds, roots began to form.

The Guardian made a soft cooing sound. "It's been a long time. I'll take this as a sign."

I cleared my throat. "Uh, right. Can somebody show me the way now?"

"Follow the trees," he said absentmindedly.

If I hadn't looked up, I would have missed the first woman leaving her tree. The same thing happened again, transparent figure after transparent figure touching the next tree before disappearing back into their own. I followed the path, towing the horse by the reins. I called out my thanks to the Guardian, but he was too busy staring at his flower.

Amidst some kind of odd magic, we soon found the road, and the tree spirits disappeared. They had never made a sound, and I began to wonder if they had been real at all.

I waited amongst the trees in case the wrong person came upon us on the road. My stomach was rumbling by the time I heard some familiar voices. I peered around a tree to watch the road. The faeries I had stolen from were riding alongside Brendan and Drake. Feeling super embarrassed, I stepped out and met them on the road.

"Sorry," I said. "You can have your horse back now."

"And our rabbit?" Snowy asked sharply.

"You shouldn't have left it out in the open if you didn't want anyone to take it."

Brendan coughed to cover his laughter. "I'll repay you for the rabbit."

"No, no," Big Nose said. "She's right. He should have put it away. Never could do what he should, that one. Too careless."

Snowy spluttered his indignation.

"So you're well," Drake said, looking at me as if I were an apparition.

"Yeah. I'm okay." I slid off the horse and rubbed its nose. "I heard a rumour that some important fae were passing this way and decided to hang around. So who am I riding with?"

"Me," both kings said at once.

Big Nose took the horse and nodded at me. "We weren't gonna hurt you, you know, even though you're human and probably the one there's a reward for taking back to the Darkside."

"How much is the reward?" I asked, curious to know what I was worth.

Drake made a sound of disgust. Brendan was smiling.

"Land and a title," Snowy said. "Not that we would have taken it."

"Well, thanks," I said. "I'm grateful for that."

"I don't like the Darkside," the hooded one said. "Didn't seem right to me. None of this seems right. Three kings. They say things get bad before they get worse, but I always thought the twin queens were 'bout as bad as it could get." He shook his head, and the three of them wandered on ahead of us.

Drake stared at me. "You made it here impossibly quick. I mean... _impossibly._ And you're _alive_. _"_

Brendan slipped off the horse. "Let's eat, and we can talk about what happened."

We all walked back into the woods.

"This is definitely the Great Forest, right?" I asked.

"It is," Brendan said. "Lucky you found it."

"Skill, you mean," I scoffed. "I was ahead of you two, remember?"

"That's because we tried to find you back in the desert. Then, we heard whispers of a girl heading toward the Great Forest. We took a chance on it being you."

"I got lucky. I was kind of kidnapped by some drunkards who wanted to sell me to Sadler."

Drake made a choking sound. " _That_ was lucky."

I shrugged. "I'm here, aren't I?"

We sat on a fallen tree trunk near a pond. The horses drank while we ate a cold meal. I was starving and didn't care one whit that we didn't waste time with a fire.

"So what happened to you two?" I asked.

"When you fell, we kept riding, hoping they would follow," Drake said. "We finally lost them and turned back to try to find you. Sadler's men have been swarming. We had to avoid them, as well as look for you, which was tough, since they were apparently looking for you, too."

Brendan broke in. "After we realised we weren't going to find you, we decided to head back to get help. We didn't know if you had even made it through the desert."

"I followed the river then a stream and managed to avoid the desert almost completely," I told them. "Besides, Sadler's men didn't look hard for me. Two passed right under me while I was sitting in a tree and didn't even realise I was there. They weren't trackers or warriors, and they didn't know who they were looking for. Or how many they were looking for, come to think of it."

Drake frowned. "In a tree?"

I nodded. "I slept there, too."

"Not very safe," Brendan said.

"Yeah, well, I didn't want to lie bleeding on the ground and not have a chance to run when someone tracked me down."

"Bleeding?" Drake asked.

"Oh. Yeah. They hit me with an arrow. That's why I fell off the horse." When they gaped at me, I said, "What? You both just assumed I'm the stupid human who falls off horses all the time?"

Brendan scowled. "How is the wound?"

"It's not so bad. Sometimes it bleeds when I lean on it. If I roll over in my sleep, I hurt it all over again."

"Let me see," Drake said.

I slipped off my cloak and carefully pulled my shirt off my shoulder.

Drake tutted. "I'm surprised you're not feverish right now." He glanced at Brendan. "We need to clean it. Start a fire. Now."

I was surprised when Brendan obeyed.

Drake took the Miacha bundle from his horse and handed it to me. "If there are any for pain or infection, take them. Right away."

I looked in the bag and found one for pain. I couldn't remember which one might help against an infection, but I didn't tell him that. When the fire was ready, Drake boiled a small pot of water. I watched, wondering what was going on.

"You'll hold her," Drake said.

Brendan nodded.

I scooted back a bit. "Um, what?"

"Your not-so-bad wound is infected," Brendan said. "We only have the most basic method to clean it."

"What's the _basic method_?" I asked, getting to my feet.

"Cara," Brendan said in his kingly voice, "sit down."

"Tell me what you're going to do to me," I demanded.

"Burn the poison away. Cut it away. Whatever it takes."

I whimpered. I couldn't help it.

"Don't be a child," he said. "You could die if we don't treat it."

I wanted to run away from them. "It can wait until we get back, can't it? Or we can find the Miacha and—"

"Sit!" Brendan barked.

I hung my head and sat. Drake was cutting strips of fabric from a shirt he'd pulled out of the pack. When he was ready, the two of them surrounded me.

"Take a second leaf," Drake said.

My eyes flew open. "That bad?"

Drake smiled, looking right into my eyes. "Let's hope not."

I popped another leaf in my mouth and tried to stop shaking. Brendan pulled me onto his lap and held me with my arms pinned at my sides. Drake dipped a dagger into the boiling water for a moment then came toward me. Without hesitation, he pierced the scab. I felt liquid running down my back.

"That's pus," Drake said. "We have to drain all of it."

I bit down on the scream that threatened to erupt from my throat. Using a stick, he dunked a strip of fabric into the boiling water then pressed it against the wound. He must have burned his own fingers while holding it in place. I cried, tears streaming down my cheeks. The white material came away stained both red and yellow. He repeated the action two more times with fresh strips, and less pus came away each time.

I sucked in a breath. "That fucking hurts."

"I know," Drake said. "Tell us your story."

"Um... some kind of water fae told me to follow a stream away from the river. I just wanted to get away from her; she was creepy. Then, _ouch_... um, I saw some white flowers and kind of... well... followed them."

"You followed some flowers?" Brendan asked.

"Will you let me tell my story? Whenever I didn't follow them, stupid things happened, like getting chased by stone statues."

They exchanged a bemused glance. Drake started cooling my wound with fresh water. He pressed something against my shoulder.

Talking helped distract me from the pain that was worse than actually getting hit with an arrow, so I continued. "Anyway, not the point. I made it here in the end. I was hungry, smelled food, and met those faeries you were walking with. They offered me some food and a spot by their fire. I got up in the middle of the night and took one of their horses and the food." I shrugged. "I don't trust anyone."

"Good," Brendan said. He looked a little proud. "They were very angry and noisy this morning when we came upon them. They told us about you, so we headed along the road home."

"You were pretty noisy, too," I said. "Like I said, some men were going to sell me to Sadler, but I got away, and then I met the Guardian of the forest."

"You met...?" Brendan shook his head. "Why am I even surprised?"

"So the Guardian led me here. He said the forest is full of Darksiders today. Aren't you worried?"

"We're kings," Brendan said, looking confused.

"Yeah, and so is Sadler now," I reminded him. "And he has some pretty scary-looking fae on his side. And he has a reward out for me. I just don't get why."

"Some stupid game, no doubt." Brendan waved dismissively. "Or he knows we're with you and wants to bring us to him without alerting anyone that he wants to kidnap a king. It's easier to ask people to take in a human than a king. He hasn't changed." He shook his head. "He's always had an odd way of going about things."

"Am I in trouble?" I asked.

"Yes," Drake said. "But we can protect you now."

"But his people are here. What if one of them tries to take me away?" I asked, my chin trembling. The more I remembered Sadler and his grandchildren, and the way he spoke about his own son, the more I feared him. He was beyond demented.

"He's never going to get away with it here," Brendan said, but something in his eyes made me wary.

"He's never going to stop," I whispered.

I stiffened as Drake pressed a makeshift bandage on my shoulder. The pain didn't bother me since I had stopped panicking. Getting my tattoo done had sent me to sleep, which impressed the tattooist so much he gave me a discount. It was my first tattoo, a large one that covered bony areas, and I had kind of enjoyed the sensation. Maybe there really was something wrong with me.

"He'll stop when he's dead," Drake said, sending Brendan a meaningful glance.

I yawned, unable to hold it in any longer.

"You probably haven't had much sleep since you left us," Brendan said. "Perhaps you should rest."

I tried to shrug, but Drake hissed in annoyance at my moving my shoulder.

"There's no point lingering" I said. "Anything could happen. Besides, it's been this entire journey. The stress and drama has worn me out more than the actual activities."

"You've grown tougher," Brendan said. "More capable of handling yourself. I respect that."

"You respect that she's hardening?" Drake snapped. "Becoming like us?"

Brendan ignored him. "Sometimes humans fall apart when they come to our world, Cara. All of this danger and fear, but you've come along. I'm proud of you. You have some of our best qualities, I think."

I blushed, but Drake was angry.

Spittle flew from his mouth as he yelled, "Disregard for life isn't our best quality, Brendan!"

"She doesn't disregard life," Brendan scoffed. He looked me directly in the eye. "She's more than you make of her."

The tension peaked. I had to cut it before anything went further. I stood. "We should move on. Time is important right now. We all need to get back to... safer ground."

They started gathering our things. I tried to help, but Drake kept taking bundles out of my hands.

"Would you stop? I can do this!"

"Your shoulder," he said. "I don't want the—"

"After everything that's happened, I'm not going to let a little ache slow me down."

"Yes, dear," he murmured, dumping a bundle at my feet.

I thumped his arm. "Smart arse."

We mounted the horses—I rode behind Drake—and headed toward the road. A thunderstorm cracked the sky that afternoon. Lightning sparked, illuminating everything in one hideous flash.

"Did you see that?" Brendan exclaimed. "It's been so long since I witnessed a thunderstorm."

Something caught in my heart at those words. I kept forgetting he had been trapped in a hellish place. It had taken a visit to the Fade to truly understand what it must have been like for him all those years. He was experiencing life all over again, like a child whose eyes had just opened. He wanted to drink up the world. I wished that for him, wished for him a life full of the things he had missed out on the first time around.

Lightning struck again, and the rain turned to hail, ricocheting off the trees. I pulled my hood lower to protect my eyes.

"We should find shelter," Drake said. "Farther into the forest, where the trees grow more densely. Perhaps we'll avoid the worst of it."

Brendan nodded and turned his horse in that direction. We fell in behind him. We rode farther into the woods, deeper and deeper. The trees were larger, older than the others.

"This is deep," Drake said. "Brendan, wait. Let's stop here."

We all dismounted. The horses were spooked, but we managed to lead them into a copse of thick trees where the ground looked a little drier. Once sheltered from the painful hail, the horses calmed.

Brendan paced, his hands shoved deep in his pockets and a frown marring his brow. He had less patience for delays the closer we got to home. The storm still thundered overhead, and by the look of the dark grey sky, it wasn't about to ease off.

Drake stood next to me, as close as possible without touching me. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed a couple of times. I waited for him to spit out whatever was on his mind.

Drake pulled my hood tight, then his fingers drifted to my face. "Is your shoulder hurting?"

"Hadn't noticed," I whispered.

He took off his cloak. His wings unfolded as if on a spring. I reached out, and he didn't stop me, so I stretched my hand over his shoulder and touched one of the fluttering wings. It felt the way I remembered: soft, downy, and sensuous. He sighed with pleasure. His violet eyes held a sea of emotions.

I dropped my hand. "We're similar. In some ways, we're exactly alike."

"How so?"

"We protect ourselves, stop anyone from knowing exactly what's in here." I pressed my hand against his chest. "Except I'm learning to share more, to know that maybe it's okay to ask for help and not do everything myself. That maybe it's all right to acknowledge when I'm not okay. You're not there yet. Even if I am as innocent as a babe."

He smiled. "You heard that."

"You two are less than stealthy."

I expected him to laugh, but his expression grew serious. He stared at me with an intensity I had missed.

"Is it all over?" I whispered. "Everything that happened between us. Was it all for nothing?"

"Not for nothing," he said, moving his hands to my waist. He stepped so close to me, I could see the liquid on his eyelashes, every crease around his mouth as he spoke. "But it can't go on. It will only hurt both of us in the long run."

"And if it's too late for that?"

"It's never too late."

"Maybe I'm already hurt."

His gaze softened. "Then I'll be eternally grateful that the hurt you feel now is nothing compared to the hurt you would experience among the fae if I did the selfish thing and kept you with us."

"You don't think it's the selfish thing to decide for me?"

"I'm not perfect. Sometimes, I do the selfish thing. But I think that if you stayed and witnessed what is to come... I think that you would never forgive me. I don't think I could bear to see that look in your eyes."

I shivered, stepping away from him. Was he talking about war? Something worse? "What are you going to do?"

He lifted a hand but dropped it before he touched me. "Don't worry. I'm just going to hurt myself."

He turned and walked after Brendan, deeper into the forest, leaving me stunned.

# Chapter 29

I had completely underestimated how uncomfortable being in the company of both Drake and Brendan would be. My feelings had divided and shifted and tricked me. They were two very different men with often opposing agendas. Drake unsettled me more than Brendan ever had, but I had unfinished business with both of them. And the closer we got to the end of the journey, the more intense everything felt.

Brendan called our names, his voice strained. Drake upped his pace, leaving me trailing behind. I pushed deeper into the woods. The trees protested, holding tight against my unwanted entry. Finally, I stumbled out into a clearing and gazed about in surprise.

Before me lay the ruins of an ancient village. Broken-down forgotten buildings were scattered all around, some of them covered in dead leaves and dirt. Mud caked the crumbling walls.

"What is this?" I whispered.

Brendan strode amongst the ruins. "I think this was here when I was young. I remember my parents visiting this place. I had forgotten..."

What had happened to make people forget an entire village? A larger building was almost intact. Some of the rooms had fallen away, but the entrance hall was still standing. I stepped inside and regretted it immediately. I was surrounded by bones. The people hadn't moved away. They had died together, in that little entrance hall. The skeletons looked complete, as if the bodies had been left there. Some of the smaller ones were encircled by larger ones.

"Dead," Brendan said from behind me. "They're all dead."

"You've been gone a long time," Drake said. "This isn't an unusual sight in the realm."

"It should be," Brendan said. "What happened here? Were they all murdered?"

"The bones aren't broken," I said. "It doesn't look like a battle. It's as if they all knew they were about to die, and they came together to do it."

"A plague, perhaps." Brendan pressed his knuckles against his temples. "Why didn't I try harder to watch over the faery realm in the Fade? I could have seen this, could have—"

"But you couldn't have stopped it," I said softly.

"I could give them closure," he said. "Peace. I could give them their revenge if I knew who had caused this."

"Revenge," I said bitterly. "All any of you care about is your stupid pride."

"What would you have me do?" he shouted. "What do you want from me?"

I jabbed a finger at him. "I would just fucking forget about it! Both of you! Get a life and move on already! What's the point of living in the past? You can't change the past. You can change the future. You both have this chance to make an actual difference, and all either of you care about is causing more bloodshed. Pair of nutjobs."

Neither of them answered. I knelt beside two skeletons, one much larger than the other. I imagined them to be a mother and her child. Why had she lain down to die? Why hadn't she run with her child? Fought to live? I let out a shuddering sigh. Drake had said it wasn't an unusual sight. What had gone wrong in the fae realm? No wonder Brighid had turned her back.

"Come on," Drake said, resting a hand on my shoulder. "You shouldn't stay here for too long."

"Why?"

"It isn't good for you. We need to get home."

There it was again. _Home_. I didn't have one, I wanted to scream. Those people had had one and let it rot and ruin, just like their bodies. I shrugged off Drake's hand and stalked back toward the exit.

Brendan grabbed my arm as I passed. "You don't get it," he growled. "You will never understand."

"I understand more than you do," I said through gritted teeth. I stepped toward him. He needed to be stood up to because his ego was growing every minute.

His laugh was without humour. "You think you know more than a king?"

"Without the crown, you're just a man," I said. "And it looks like you haven't learned much, after all."

His grip tightened. "Do you dare?"

I lifted my chin. "I'm not scared of you. I have _nothing_. I have nothing left to lose. Your ego doesn't turn me into a whimpering wreck because I think it makes you look foolish."

He let go of me, and I stepped outside. The hail had turned back into a steady rain, but the air was still chilly. My cloak kept me warmer than I would have been. Brendan was so angry at me that I was pretty sure I had messed up everything. I looked at my wrist. At the time, it felt as though he might break it, but there wasn't a mark on it. Sighing, I tugged my sleeve back down and wandered around the ruins.

Drake went to fetch the horses. When he returned, he followed me. "Did he hurt you?"

"No."

"You might have hurt him."

"You have to have a heart to get hurt," I said bitterly. "Not that _you_ would know anything about that, either."

"What did I do?"

I glared at him. He had the good sense to keep his mouth shut.

One of the ruined buildings still had half its roof. I sat under there and leaned against the sturdy wall. Why had some of it fallen away while the rest remained steady?

Drake started a campfire in the dry patches, and I scooted closer, eager for the warmth. The horses wandered over and rested under another sheltered part of the ruin. Drake left to gather some fruit from the forest.

When Brendan came over, he was carrying some rabbits that he had already skinned and gutted. He knelt and started building a spit to cook them over the fire. I watched him, wondering what he was thinking, the fae who was part stranger, part one of the most important people in my life. Soon, the scent of the meat filled the air, and the place felt a little more alive.

"The forest has grown," Brendan said. "The heart of it used to be the most magical, the most well protected. Ancient races lived there, undisturbed by the rest of us. The tribe who lived here seemed primitive to me. They had a whole different set of laws and traditions. My parents often took me with them to see how they worked with the independent tribes. They wanted me to understand that even the smallest tribes were important. My mother and father ate by the fire, sitting on the ground. Her hair was around her shoulders, and she was the happiest she had ever been. That's when I knew."

When he didn't continue, I asked, "Knew what?"

"That the crown brought unhappiness. Nobody looked happy in a crown. But those people who sat here and shared their food with us, those people who sang and danced and lived as if nothing in the world could weigh them down, those people were happy. My parents were happy as a man and a woman, but not as king and queen."

"That would be enough for most people—to be happy sometimes."

He shrugged. "It's not enough for me. I want it all."

"Nobody gets to have everything they want."

"I know, but that doesn't stop me from wanting it."

Drake returned and fed the horses some apples. The three of us shared the rabbits and had fruit for dessert. Everything tasted good. I hadn't realized how hungry I was.

"They say the centre of the Great Forest is the most fertile place in the realm," Drake said. "The water is purer, anything that is planted tastes better, and the animals grow larger than anywhere else."

"That's because the magic began here," Brendan said. "This... the Great Forest... all of the neutral territory, is the beginning. The realm grew around it as the fae strengthened. Or so they say."

"And then they divided the realm by taking territories," I said quietly. "And now the realm is dying."

Both of them looked questioningly at me.

"The Darkside," I said. "The rift in the Fade. The land is dying. It's spreading, right? It's like an infection that's contagious. That's why the bridges were torn down. Because the fae on this side thought it would protect them. But it's too late. Nothing can stop it."

Drake nodded. "It is dying."

"And remember that village we stayed in? The one celebrating because a king might fix things in the Darkside?"

"The Darkside could never take over the Great Forest," Brendan said. "The Great Forest is too large, too strong. It's the heart of everything."

"Then what about the way faeries use humans for their pain and suffering? Líle told me she believes it's weakening the fae to act that way. Maybe if Brighid—"

"Enough about Brighid," Brendan said sourly. "We're in this alone."

I stared into the fire. They didn't get it. "What if the darkness keeps spreading? What if the Darkside becomes the largest place in the realm? _Becomes_ the realm?"

"It won't," Brendan said confidently. "We'll work against it. We'll clean up the realm."

"And if there's a third king doing the opposite?"

"We'll deal with him," Drake said. "It's not for you to worry about."

"She's here in the fae realm," Brendan said. "Why wouldn't she worry?"

Drake threw down his cup and walked off. The ruined village was affecting all of us badly.

Brendan and I sat in silence for a while. The only sounds were small animals cracking twigs amongst the trees, the occasional whinny of one of our horses, and the crackling of our fire. The hooting of an owl made us both flinch.

Brendan looked at me. "I'm sorry if I was angry with you earlier."

"No, you're not. You're becoming the king again. Nobody's allowed to argue with you."

"I want to be different," he said in a small voice. "I don't want to go back to the way I was. I don't want to be Sadler. I want to be better than them all."

"Even Drake?"

He smiled. "Especially Drake."

"Nobody's forcing you to be arrogant and rude. You choose how you act."

He shook his head. "If you had seen this place, how vibrant and alive it was, you would be angry, too."

"I know it's not fair," I said. "But look at the bigger picture. If you get caught up here, somebody else could be pushing their agenda elsewhere. You should talk to Grim. He knows all about this stuff. He sees things the rest of you don't."

"He's wise," Brendan said. "If he wasn't, I doubt you would still be alive."

"If the storm stops, we could make it back by tomorrow night."

"Let's hope." He hesitated. "I'm not sure what to expect, though."

"Me, either," I whispered.

"Whatever happens, I'll make sure Grim and the others find their way home. I won't forget them."

I gave him a grateful smile. I believed him. I just didn't know if the same thing applied to me. Would he remember me when it was all said and done?

# Chapter 30

We left the ruins when the storm broke. The air smelled fresher, cleaner. I didn't want to ride with either of them, but they had been taking turns for the horses' sakes, and that left me perched in front of Brendan again with Drake in the lead.

"You're agitated," he said as we headed back toward the road again.

"I'm fine." The sky was still dark from the storm, and I was getting tired. "This is taking longer than I thought."

"We've been avoiding the busy roads. That takes us on a longer route. Don't worry. Nothing will stop us now."

I let out a heavy sigh. I was dreading the end of the journey.

"You seem disappointed," he said, pulling me closer to him.

"I've gotten used to not knowing what the hell is going to happen next."

"I knew you were a daredevil." He pulled down my hood and nuzzled my neck.

"Cut it out," I said, trying not to laugh. "You only like me when I don't take your shit."

"How do you know I wouldn't like you better if you did?"

I pulled my hood back up. "You must be seriously bored today."

"I feel like time is running out," he said. "The fun is almost over."

"You call this fun?"

"Don't try to tell me you haven't enjoyed some of it. You love it here."

"Maybe it's not _always_ my idea of hell," I said. "But it could be better."

"As could the human realm. But I think I prefer it there sometimes." He rested his hands on mine on the reins.

I shook off his hands, but gently. Being with him was so easy most of the time that he was always a kind of temptation. If I wasn't so hung up on Drake, then things would be a lot different between Brendan and me. But Drake held a piece of my heart, and I couldn't let the idea of us go.

Brendan sighed. "All that time waiting to come home, and all I want to do is visit the human realm again."

"You want to taste the world," I said, throwing his own words back at him. "That's what you told Sorcha. You want to live a full life this time, and you think that being in the human realm will help."

"I think it will make me less likely to forget. All of the time I spent hunting in this forest, and I never returned to that village. Maybe I would have been a better king if I had spent time with fae who didn't dwell in the court. It's a different world in there. People start trends, everyone follows frantically, and then it's something new the next week. But it's never satisfying. It never feels complete. There's always the next thrill and a complete disregard for everything else. The politics..." He gave a dramatic shudder.

"Grim warned me that someone would try to get rid of me on this trip."

"And perhaps it was Sorcha's idea to escape through the Hollows by selling us out," Brendan said.

"But it didn't work," I pointed out. "We made it past Reynard."

"You have the strangest luck," he said.

Noises came from ahead—loud, angry, aggressive sounds.

Drake stopped and waited for us to catch up to him. "Wait here," he whispered before dismounting. He nimbly climbed a tree to take a better look. When he came back down, he looked worried. "Darksiders all along the road. They must be watching for us."

"So we'll travel a different way," Brendan said. "There's a village nearby, full of fae who have lived in the forest for centuries. They're good trackers. I believe they'll help us find a way home. If the Darksiders have gathered, it'll be tricky to get past them without any help."

We turned off the track. The rain would cover our tracks a little, but the hoof prints in the mud would be harder to conceal. Still, we pressed on, desperate to get the kings back to their rightful place.

We soon thundered into the part of the forest that Brendan sought. The village had lots of small buildings, but they were all carved out of massive trees. Everything seemed to have been created from the hollow of a tree. The people lived _inside_ the trees, and other trees grew in a protective ring around them.

I stared in wonder. "This is all kinds of amazing."

Some faeries came out to investigate, and Drake asked, "Who are they?"

Brendan dismounted. "They were once known as the keepers of the forest. I don't know what they're called these days."

A small old woman approached. "It's been a long time since the likes of you visited here. What ails ya today?"

"The Darksiders are lining the roads," Brendan said.

"I heard. They're looking for a human." She nodded at me. "I suppose that's her."

"Will you help us?" Brendan asked, sounding meeker than I'd ever heard him.

She glanced over her shoulder. The faces of the others remained impassive. "I suppose we will. We don't welcome Darksiders, and we hear there's a Darksider king now. And is this t'other king?" she asked, gesturing at Drake.

Drake dismounted. "I am."

"Aren't we fortunate?" the woman said, but the corners of her mouth curved up. "Well, what are you waiting for? Let us take care of your horses, and you can have a bite to eat. Don't worry about the Darksiders. Our trackers have been keeping an eye on them. In the morning, when they return, we'll work out a way to get you past the dark souls before they take over the Great Forest."

"Thank you," Drake said.

"Haven't done a thing yet," she said briskly. "Come. Break bread with us. It will all be better in the morn."

I dismounted. Some of the faeries took the horses away. We were too large to sleep in their homes, but the bonfire in the centre of the village looked promising.

Taking my arm, the old woman pushed me toward some younger females. "Take good care of this one."

The females ushered me away. I looked back for reassurance. Brendan nodded and headed into the centre of the village, accompanied by Drake.

A young freckle-face girl with deep blue eyes took charge. "I'm Tayla. I'll take care of you while you're here."

I liked her smile. "What about my—"

"You have to keep away from the men during the day. Come on. We'll get you cleaned up."

I let her lead me to a stream. She chattered incessantly as I bathed and washed my hair. She tutted at my shoulder and calf.

"I thought they were healing pretty well," I said with a shrug.

"Then I'd hate to see what you call infected. Hold on. I'll get those cleaned and patched up nicely for you. You'll still have scars, but it won't be as bad."

She stitched up my shoulder with deft fingers then smeared some kind of muddy-looking paste across the stitches. "That'll cool it down. It'll help the healing, too."

Tayla took me back to the village. The paste was actually really soothing. I saw Brendan and Drake speaking with some of the village elders, but I wasn't allowed to approach them.

Kneeling close to the bonfire, Tayla and I watched the youngest girls make flower chains. The men did some kind of ritual where they shared from an old cup, and the older women cooked using little pits on the outskirts of the village.

Tayla brought me some food she called fish meal. It was probably the most delicious thing I had tasted since entering the fae realm. She plaited my hair like hers while I ate. The result was some complicated type of braid that I would never be able to replicate in a million years. A child came over and stuck some flowers into my hair.

The mood of the place reminded me of my night with Drake. I caught his eye and flushed at the memory. As the sky darkened, the revelry began. Some of the younger girls joined hands and danced around the fire.

"Does this happen every night?" I asked, enthralled.

"No," Tayla said, "but always when we have visitors. We dance and sing and celebrate. It's tradition that nobody says no to a dance on a night like this. The stars watch us, and we have to make them happy."

"Why?"

She giggled. "So they keep coming back. How boring it must be to watch all night while people sleep. We do our best to make the night entertaining."

"How?"

She grinned. "You'll see."

After we ate, drinks were passed around. The flavour was sweet and heady, and I soon felt a little disoriented. I just pretended to drink after the first few sips.

"You could stay," Tayla said. "You don't have to go with them. You could live here for a while."

"They're afraid I'm going to lose my mind like a summer wife."

She frowned. "How could that be? Are you a summer wife?"

"No. And I have no intentions of becoming one, either." I was fairly certain it wouldn't be worth it, even if it meant living in style for a few months.

"Good," she said. "It must be boring."

"You don't have summer wives here?"

She let out a derisive snort. "It's not forbidden, but a wife isn't for the summer. The human women don't lose their minds here. That only happens from the excesses of the court. That's why we live out here alone. Nothing good can come from the courts."

Some of the villagers brought out some musical instruments.

Tayla clapped her hands. "You'll like this. Everything we have comes from nature. The earth provides anything we might need, even the music."

One woman played a set of drums that were set into the ground. Each snare made a pleasant sound that resonated under my feet. The vibrations rattled me, but I liked it. Another played a fiddle, and the music somehow sounded like a voice. At first, it was so mournful that I felt tears in my eyes.

"It won't be long," Tayla said solemnly. "First, we acknowledge the pain and loneliness of the stars."

Shocked by my own emotions, I wiped my wet cheeks with my sleeve. The women around me swayed, some of them moving closer to touch my shoulders. I caught Brendan's eye. I expected him to laugh at me, but his expression was so serious that I couldn't hold his gaze for more than a few seconds. I stared into the fire, trying not to feel the music in my bones so much.

Without warning, the song burst into something jauntier. The villagers cheered, many of them getting to their feet and dancing. An old man approached, his tanned skin so wrinkled and saggy, I could barely make out his eyes. He bowed and held out his hand.

"The elder chooses the first dance," Tayla whispered. "You have to honour him by agreeing."

The girls shoved me to my feet. I gripped his hand and let him lead me around the bonfire. We danced. He was so short that his eyes were on my chest. I laughed as we spun around the fire. This was the part of the fae that I loved, that I would hate leaving behind. My hair came loose from the plaits, locks of it falling over my face, but I didn't care. The bonfire was hot, and the night cool. I threw back my head and looked up at the stars.

"Is this what they like to see?" I asked my dance partner.

"Well, personally, I think they like to see a bit more flesh, but I'm always outvoted on these matters."

I laughed. A bit later, the elder's hands moved a little too far south, but I was saved by a king.

Brendan broke in. "Technically, I'm an elder, too," he called out, pulling me after him.

The villagers laughed and jeered, and many of them joined in the dancing. Brendan spun me around and lifted me into the air. I grinned as I looked down at him.

"It's good to see you smile for a change," he said.

I giggled then spotted Drake sitting off to the side. My smile faded.

Brendan lowered me. "Ah."

"I'm sorry, I..." I shook my head. "Dance with me. It might be the last time."

With a strange smile, he took my hands. "I'll make sure it's not. Now it's the other king's turn. I have an elder to charm."

He left me there and found a new partner. Ignoring the traditions because the villagers seemed to have thrown all of their rules out of the window, I made my way over to Drake.

"Are you tired?" he asked politely as I sat next to him.

"You're older than I am," I said. "You have to ask me to dance."

"I don't want to dance."

My lips trembled. "It might be the only dance we ever have."

He sighed. "Then we should make the most of it." He stood and held out his hand.

I took his slim fingers and let him pull me to my feet. He led me away from the others, into a shaded area under the trees. My head was spinning from the drink and heat and atmosphere. There was something heady about the way the villagers embraced the stars and put on a show for them. Something unrecognisable filled the air, some kind of mystical force that said unseen eyes really were watching us all. Anything could happen on such a night, and a large part of me welcomed the magic that would help me forget the worries of the world.

Drake moved closer, his hands on my waist. I closed the distance and slid my arms around his shoulders. His eyes were intense, and his fingers splayed across my hip, right where my faery tattoo began.

We swayed together for a long time, never speaking but having epic conversations with our eyes.

An epic goodbye.

# Chapter 31

In the morning, the trackers returned. I had slept in a tangle of bodies. Everyone had fallen asleep outside as part of their celebratory ritual. I had a terrible hangover, but I couldn't stop smiling. It had been one of my favourite nights with the fae. I got up and went over to where Brendan and Drake were sitting.

Three trackers approached us. They were shorter and slimmer than the rest of the people. They all had dark brown eyes and wrinkled, sun-beaten faces.

"We are to lead you past the Darksiders," one said. "But you must walk and lead the horses."

"We don't have a problem with that," Brendan said. "But we need to get back and deal with this Darksider king."

The tracker nodded. "Then we shall leave immediately."

The villagers began stirring, ready to help us leave. Bundles of food were pressed into our hands and strapped to our horses.

"It was a good night for the stars," Tayla said. "They saw love and loss." She took my hand. "If you come this way again, there will be a place for you under the stars."

After saying our goodbyes, we set off with the trackers. The leader stayed with us. The other two separated and moved out of our sight.

"I'm Dwyer," the lead tracker said. "The surrounding area is clean, but there are plenty of Darksiders roaming farther out. You may be forced into a confrontation, but we'll do our best to avoid that."

"Thank you, Dwyer," Brendan said. "Have you news?"

Dwyer shrugged, his keen gaze moving constantly. "We heard first that the king had disappeared. Some said he had lost his mind, others that he had taken on a quest. The daoine sídhe kept control for a time, but then Sadler announced that the realm was lost. With no king, he was next in line, and even if there was a king, in his absence, Sadler would be the closest living relative."

"And be required to rule in his stead," Brendan said thoughtfully. "And the fae fell for this?"

"First there was panic, but then the Darksiders began to infiltrate. Sadler promised to control them. The elder fae begged him to take the throne before the daoine sídhe declared war on the invaders. That was all on the surface. The truth is a different story. While Sadler makes deals and alliances, his men are a scourge on the realm. The daoine sídhe have protected as much as they can, but they need a leader with the power of a royal."

"I shouldn't have left," Drake said. "I caused this."

A whistle sounded nearby. Dwyer whistled in answer. "Ah. Looks to me that Sadler caused this. There was no chance of him lying down peacefully, not after what happened to his... son."

"It'll be two against one soon," I said. "With both of you..."

"There'll be a war," Dwyer said. "We're all expecting it. The realm is in a state of panic. I think many would rather neither king returned than for them to come back and declare a war."

"And that's the way of it," Brendan said. "Who has declared fealty to Sadler? Do you know?"

"The water fae. At least, the selkies and sirens. The Darksiders, even the ones caught up in the spread. There are others, some solitary, but fae are still moving, biding their time before they make a final choice."

"What about the banshees?" Brendan asked.

"No," Dwyer said. "The banshees haven't declared their allegiance yet. The daoine sídhe refuse to acknowledge Sadler as king, and that has a made a significant difference."

"And your village?" Drake asked. "Who do you pledge fealty for?"

"We do not pledge," Dwyer said. "Not unless there's someone worthy. It's been a long time since we gave our loyalty to any one leader."

Sweat ran down my back. I was constantly alert, struggling to hear anything at all that might warn us of unwanted company. The undergrowth was thick. I tripped over roots far too many times. Dwyer occasionally communicated with the other trackers by whistling. After a couple of hours, a bird song sounded.

Dwyer held up his hand, warning us to stop. "Someone's ahead," he whispered. "Wait."

Four low whistles sounded.

"Only four," Dwyer said. "We can confront them now, or we can veer around them, which will take up more time. It's your choice."

Brendan's hands opened and closed into fists. "Confrontation."

"Then go ahead," Dwyer said. "We are a peaceful people. Do as you will."

Brendan put his hand on his sword and strode away. Drake followed, not hesitating for a second. I glanced at Dwyer before shrugging and following my kings. With only my puny dagger, I wouldn't be much help, but I wasn't standing there with Dwyer while I waited for them to get their arses handed to them.

Ahead, Brendan held out his hand then splayed his fingers. He moved to the left, Drake to the right. Brendan gestured for me to go straight ahead.

_Fantastic._ I was bait. As I obeyed, I kept my hand in my pocket, desperately holding on to my dagger. My breath hitched as I came upon a camp of some Darksiders. They were tall, muscular fae. Obviously warriors.

A twig crunched under my foot, sounding like a bomb to my ears. The four warriors jumped, and all of them looked my way.

A helmeted giant nudged the fae next to him and nodded at me. "That's her, isn't it?"

"Giving herself up," his winged companion said.

The three males got up and started walking toward me.

"Don't be idiotic," the female scoffed, holding back.

The only unarmoured warrior rushed at me, his sword in the air. I stood there like a deer frozen in headlights, barely able to form a thought. The sound of something whipping through the trees made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I had heard that sound before, right before an arrow shot through my chest, and later before one hit my shoulder.

The warrior froze then collapsed to his knees, three arrows sticking through his neck. The woman whirled around, but Drake was already there, aiming a sword at her throat. She conceded and took a knee.

Helmet and Wings circled me, looking all around for whoever else might be out there. The dagger felt slippery in my sweaty palm.

"Duck!" Brendan called from my left.

Time slowed. I dropped to the ground, but Helmet gripped my hair as if to pull me toward him to use me as a weapon. Without thinking twice, I shoved the dagger into his crotch. Warm blood drenched my clothes. I heard a _swish_ and turned around, holding up my arm in defense.

The winged one fell on the ground next to me. I stared in horror as his head rolled away from his body and landed beside my foot. I looked up to see Brendan's eyes filled with the joy of bloodlust. He leapt over me to reach Helmet, who lay on the ground, groaning, his hands pressed against his bloody crotch. Brendan shoved a sword through the fae's chest, putting him out of his misery. It had all happened so _fast._

"Well," the woman said. "Aren't you spectacular?" She sneered at Drake, her eyes dark and hateful.

"What are you doing here?" Drake asked.

"You obviously already know," she replied, glancing over at me. "Sadler requests an audience."

"If he wants to meet with a king, there are other ways to go about it."

She laughed. "Who ever said he wanted to meet with a king? It's the human he wants to see."

Drake's expression changed. "And what then?"

"I don't question my king." She spat on Drake's shoe. "Behead me already. Sadler doesn't keep anyone informed of his plans. He doesn't trust a soul."

"Fine," Drake said then shoved his sword through her eye.

I smothered my scream of horror. It was different in battle, different in the heat of the moment. Watching him kill an unarmed woman in cold blood made me want to vomit. He had no regret in his eyes, no sense that he had done anything worth thinking twice about. Doubt wound its way around my heart. Did I know him at all?

Dwyer arrived, leading our horses behind him.

"I thought you didn't get involved," Brendan said.

"He would have killed the human in his enthusiasm," Dwyer said. "We merely stopped that from happening."

I wanted to scream and ask him why that mattered to him. Why did the fae do any of the things they chose?

"We should move on." Dwyer stepped over the bodies. "The blood will bring scavengers, and _her_ fear can be felt a mile away. She needs to calm down. I don't think another meeting with Darksiders will help with that."

"I have blood on me," I whispered.

Nobody answered.

We didn't stop to eat again, and I grew a little light-headed. Drake at least made them pause beside a brook so I could wash the worst of the blood away.

"If the bodies are found, the Darksiders will know we came this way," Drake told Dwyer.

"Perhaps they won't find them. The forest has a way of protecting its own."

"We'll be long gone," Brendan said.

We climbed a hilly embankment, where we got a good view of the forest. Dark figures ran on the road and amongst the trees.

"They've found the bodies," Dwyer said. "And we're almost to freedom. We can aim for the road. We're so close to—"

He froze and held his finger up to his lips. A few whistles later, he relaxed. "Not a Darksider. But watch out. Someone approaches on foot. And fast."

A few minutes later, a tall, muscular woman burst through the trees. I barely had time to see that she was covered in blood before Brendan tackled her and slammed her to the ground.

"You," she panted as she stared up at him. Hope blossomed in her eyes. "You're back. Thank the—"

"What's happened?" Drake asked. "She was with the daoine sídhe, Brendan. Let her go."

"Yes," she gasped out. "I was. I mean, I am. A group of us were patrolling the woods in the hopes we would meet you before the Darksiders got in the way, but they outnumbered us, destroyed my group. I managed to run while they were..." She swallowed hard. "I don't know if they're following, but—"

"What's going on out there?" Drake asked.

"Sadler's been branded," she squeaked, avoiding his eyes. "It's official. We did our best to stop it, but we don't have that kind of authority here, and the Darksiders have caused hysteria among the pure-bloods. We stalled him as long as we could, but he left days ago."

"And he's attacking the daoine sídhe?" Drake asked.

She shook her head a little. "Not just the daoine sídhe. They're picking off anyone who dares come through the woods. It's the bloodlust. They're uncontrollable."

"I need to return to the village," Dwyer said. "I need to take word to them. If you keep riding east, you'll find your way around the Darksiders."

"They're in the Forest," the daoine sídhe said. "All over it. They surrounded us, blocked us in so we couldn't escape. They're... enjoying the hunt."

Brendan looked at Drake. "We need to move fast. You can take Cara. We'll avoid them and get to where we need to be. One of us will make it, at least."

Drake nodded then looked at the daoine sídhe. "We don't have enough horses for you, too, but if you leave with the trackers, you'll be safe with the villagers. We'll clean out the Forest when we can, drive the Darksiders back, and send for you when it's safe."

Dwyer agreed to take her. They left noiselessly.

"Back on the horses," Brendan said. His face was a mask again, as if he had forgotten about everything but getting back to his throne.

"Is this a war?" I whispered to Drake as he helped me up onto his horse.

"Not yet," he said. "Not yet."

We rode fast and didn't stop until we left the forest and were running through meadows. I noticed a familiar-looking willow tree. I wasn't sure if we were in the fae or human realm until we entered Brendan's garden. His house loomed in the distance. We were home.

A huge amount of daoine sídhe and other followers rushed forward to greet him.

But Drake rode right past them and farther into the garden. "I need to talk to you, without him hanging on to our every word."

Excited, I tightened my grip on his waist as we rode away.

# Chapter 32

We stopped in a part of the garden I didn't recognise. I knew I looked a state, but when we dismounted, Drake gazed at me with so much tenderness that my heart swelled with emotion. He took my hands, and I forgot all of my doubts and worries.

"It's going to be dangerous here," he said. "I need you to understand a few things, okay?"

I nodded, absentmindedly rubbing my thumbs across his fingers.

He sighed and cupped my cheek, leaning toward me. The air tightened, and I held my breath, remembering the way his soul had once made me feel. He kissed me, his hand splayed across my back. I wrapped myself around him, inhaling the magic.

He pulled away after a minute, his eyes heavy with some kind of pain. "No matter what has happened, no matter what _will_ happen, I need you to know, to always remember, that I love you, Cara Kelly." He kissed my jaw lightly. "I will never forget this. _Never_."

I opened my mouth to question him, but he covered it with his, and I forgot what I was going to say.

Sometime later, he raised his head. "Now, this is my gift to you." He lifted his hands to my face and ran his thumbs across my eyelids, forcing them closed. "Be blind to us, Cara Kelly."

I froze. What was he doing? I tried to open my eyes, but the lids felt as though they were glued shut.

His hands moved to my ears. "Be deaf to us, Cara Kelly."

I reached for his hands, and he gripped my fingers and squeezed. I heard nothing, and then I felt nothing. Nothing at all.

Finally, I was able to open my eyes. I looked around. There was no rose garden, no faery magic. I saw nothing but a cold, harsh human realm. I stood alone in an abandoned park at night.

Drake had shut me out of the faery world, made sure I would never see or hear or touch him again. I doubled over in horror, feeling a pain in my insides as if something had been wrenched from me. They were gone. All gone. I would have no idea if any of them lived or died, if any of them would survive against Sadler. Drake had taken everything from me.

I had nowhere to go. No home or job or anything. I had never felt so alone, so desolate, so _broken_.

Wiping tears from my face, I wandered around the park, trying to feel leylines. Nothing.

"I hate you," I whispered, my throat aching.

I left the park and walked the streets until I saw a bus heading into the city centre. I didn't have any money, so I followed the route until I recognised my surroundings. I had only one option left—Zoe.

I was still in my riding gear and cloak, covered with a Darksider's blood. That's how he had thrown me away. I kept in the shadows as much as possible, but I got some strange looks from people. I heard nervous laughter from a few, but nobody worked up the courage to say anything to me.

By the time I made it back to my friend's home, it was past midnight. I knocked on Zoe's door. She would probably be irritated at not being caught up on my drama, but she would get over it. When she opened the door, she stared at me for long seconds, not saying a word.

"Are you not going to invite me in?" I asked with a nervous laugh.

"Invite you in?" She stepped forward and shoved me. "I thought you were dead, you selfish bitch! A year! A whole fucking year, Cara!"

I stepped back, stunned. "A year? It's only been a few weeks!"

She took in my appearance, and her anger turned to concern. "Get inside. Before you disappear again. I swear... just get inside."

Her house was quiet and dark. She took me into the kitchen. Suddenly, I felt every ache and pain. I limped from my wounded calf, and my shoulder screamed in agony. I sat at the table while she filled the kettle and put it on the stove.

"I thought you were dead," she said. "We all thought _she_ killed you."

"Who?"

"The lecturer from college. Veronica bloody Greene. The _psychopath_. She went missing at the same time as you. They didn't connect it until they checked out her house. She had pictures of you all over her room. And notes. It was like she was investigating some made-up mystery in her head, all of this shit about faeries and the like."

I swallowed hard. "Pictures of me?"

"She was obsessed with you, they said. They assumed she had kidnapped you or something, taken you off somewhere to kill you. I don't know. It's all crazy. About as crazy as what you're wearing right now. And is that _blood_? What the hell, Cara?"

"It's blood. Ronnie lost her mind, but she didn't hurt me." I hesitated. "Not me."

Zoe's eyes widened as she realised what I meant. "Where have you been?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you. I didn't know I was gone so long."

She surprised me with a fierce hug. "Holy shit, I've missed you so much. My life has gone to crap since you've been gone. All I've done is worry about you."

"I'm so sorry." A year! I could hardly wrap my mind around it. A whole year of my life wasted on the fae, who threw me away without even warning me first. "But at least you had Darren and Erika and Fiona and all of them."

"Are you fucking serious? They aren't you. Besides, I dumped that idiot almost a year ago. I'm... I'm not the same anymore. I don't really see anybody from the old gang. But now you're back, so we can start over, right? Everyone thought it was Ronnie, but I blamed Drake and his family. Was I right? Were you gone because of them?"

"Yes," I said, deciding she didn't need to know the whole truth, but I could tell her some of it. "I had to do something for them, but it's over now."

"It's really over?" she asked, holding my gaze.

I nodded, swallowing past the lump in my throat. "I'll never see any of them again."

# About the Author

Thank you for reading Fade. To find out what happens next, check out the next book, Queen.

_Three kings._

_Two queens._

_One heir._

* * *

_Chaos will rule._

For more information, check out Claire Farrell's blog or email the author. Sign up to be notified of new releases or like the Facebook page for more regular updates. Click here for an updated series reading order.

Contact Me:

  *     @doingitwritenow
  *     clairefarrellauthor

www.clairefarrellauthor.com

claire_farrell@live.ie

# Books by Claire Farrell:

**C haos Series:**

One Night with the Fae (Companion Prequel)

Soul (Chaos #1)

Fade (Chaos #2)

Queen (Chaos #3)

Usurper (Chaos #4)

Blight (Chaos #5)

Kings (Chaos #5.5)

Sacrifice (Chaos #6)

* * *

**A va Delaney Series (Completed):**

Thirst (Ava Delaney #1)

Taunt (Ava Delaney #2)

Tempt (Ava Delaney #3)

Taken (Ava Delaney #4)

Taste (Ava Delaney #5)

Traitor (Ava Delaney #6)

Awakening (Ava Delaney Volume I – Books 1-3)

Uprising (Ava Delaney Volume II – Books 4-6)

* * *

**L ost Souls Series:**

Tainted (Ava Delaney: Lost Souls #1)

Tethers (Ava Delaney: Lost Souls #2)

Tithes (Ava Delaney: Lost Souls #3)

Ava Delaney: Lost Souls - Volume 1

* * *

**V BI Series:**

Demon Dog (VBI #1)

* * *

**C ursed Series (Completed):**

Verity (Cursed #1)

Clarity (Cursed #2)

Adversity (Cursed #2.5)

Purity (Cursed #3)

Cursed Omnibus (Entire Cursed Series)

* * *

**S take You Series (Completed):**

Stake You (Stake You #1)

Make You (Stake You #2)

Break You (Stake You #3)

* * *

**S hort Story Collections:**

Sixty Seconds

A Little Girl in my Room

* * *

**O ther:**

Death is a Gift (A standalone banshee novel)

Zombie Moon Rising (A Peter Brannigan Novella)

Ghost Moon Rising (A Peter Brannigan Novella)

Crucible (A Phoenix Novella)

Bind (An Esther Novella)

Relativity (A Lorcan & Lucia Novella)
