 
Tum log achi audience ho pata hai !
good vibes ! matlab tum wo achi audience ho ke...
joke acha lag raha hai toh hans rahe ho !!!
nahin acha lag raha , toh nahin hans rahe ho.
basically samajhdar typically Bombay audience.
( Idhar sirf ek insan ke baare mein baat hui hai and audience ko bekar nahi bol raha. sirf 1 admi ki baat hai )
ek show maine Gorakhpur mein kiya tha wahan aayi thi. ( sirf ek bande ki baat hui hai and it happens for real )
 
 
you know main wahan pe stage pe chada or paanch minutes hue the mujhe  stage pe chade hue
tabhi na samne se aise ek banda chalte hue aya
or aise samne aake khada h gaya.
i am like kya hua? ( toh bolta hai ek announcement karani hai )
 
maine pucha kya hai announcement batao kya hai?
toh kehta hai - sir abhi na toilet mein cigarette pike gaya hai. ( also remmember - smoking is injuries to health )
aap in sabko mana karo ki koi toilet mein cigarette na piye !
toh maine sabko bol diya - ae koi toilet mein cigarette nahi pieyga.
or usko bhi bol diya, jab tak main stage pe khada hun, koi bhi
sutta nahi marega toilet mein. !!!
but the point is, wo cigarette stage pe chadne se pehle MAIN HE PIKE AYA THA !
wo meri shikayat he mujhe karne aagaya.
or keh raha hai inhe daant do.
and mujhe na
DIMAG KHARAB karke bada maza aata hai logo ka.
samajh rahe ho?
ye mujhe best chiz lagti hai, subha subha utho or kisi ka mood kharab kardo.
or poore din chill karo
samjh rahe ho mood kharab kaisa? ki tumne jiska mood kharab kiya hai na !
*wo tumhare baare mein soch soch ke poora din kilas raha hai
ki milega na toh mooh toad dunga uska.
ye wala dimag kharab, or ye karke main poora din masti karta hoon.
or ye main specially unn cab drivers ke sath karta hoon,
jo poora brahamand ghoomke colony ke gate ke bahar tak toh aa jate hai, par andar nahi aate yaar.
hua hai tum logo ke sath ? ye kya problem hai yar unki?
saari jagah ghumne ke baad gate pe aake bolte hai ki abhi tum bahar aao !
maine cab book kari thi
mera cab wala gate pe aake call kar raha hai, ( sir main gate ke bahar agaya hu )
aap bahar aao, and i told him he mera ghar last tower mein padta hai !
aise andar se ghumke aane mein 1 km padta hai ! Theek hai !
or maine cab iss liye book karai thi ki bahar jake ande ( eggs ) leke aa pau.
main bahar he agay toh purpose kya raha cab book karne ka yaar?
than he's like toh TU cab cancel karde.
ek toh bezzati kar raha hai, or upar se tu bhi bol raha hai !
samjh rahe ho aap? toh usne mera mood kharab kiya, ab maine uska karna tha.
toh maine.
phone rakhne se pehle usse bol diya !
koi toh wajah hai jo tu cab chala raha hai.
abhi dekho mujhe pata hai iska mood kharab ho gaya hai !!!
kyuki ye call back kar raha tha.
ye call bcak kyu kar raha hai? ho gaya na khatam humare beech ka rishta.
dekho iska mood kharab hai, magar mujhe janna tha kitna kharab hai. !!!
kyuki ek bar iss art field mein agaye ho toh aapko ye level janne padenge.
toh mujhe janna tha iska kitna mood kharab hai, ye janne ke liye maine phone utha liya.
or jaise he phone uthaya he's like - saale kutte teri gan*, maine phone he kaat diya
main chuti** ye game main already he jeet chuka hoon. Theek hai !!!
ye main khel he nahi raha. !!!
upar se ye kya matlab hua ke - tum cab cancel kardo ??
chuti** tere mood swings ke chakkar mein 42 rupae main kyu bhar raha hun cancellation charge?
pehle ye bata na
par ye banda call pe call kare he ja raha hai. kare he ja raha hai.
dekho ab iska mood kharab hai.
or mujhe pata hai ki iska itna mood kharab hai ki ye bahar jaake gadi thok dega,
vibe aa gai thi thodi thodi na.
bada pissed off hai, ye aaj maar dega.
par main nahi chahta tha ye kisi ko uda he de ye matlab.
toh maine decide kiya ki thodi si gaali khate hai or iska mood halka karte hai.
 
toh maine aise phone utha liya, ki thodi gali khate ha, mood halka karte hai.
toh jaise he maine phone uthaya, he's like - TU JAHAN PE BHI HAI WAHIN RUK !!!
MAIN TERI WAHIN AAKE GA** TOADTA HOON
and i am like - THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS ARGUMENT !!!
KI TUJHE LOCATION PE ANA THA NA YAAR. !!!
and BTW jab gan** toadne aa raha hai toh !! ande le aayega kya?
log karte hai mood kharab ab kya kare.
maine toh seekha tha apne dost se, wo insan choro janwaro ka mood kharab kar deta tha yaar wo !
mera dost tha asif, jis se maine ye seekha tha, uss bande ka ye best tarika !!!
wo bhai maze masti ke liye mood kharab karta tha.
janwaro ka. ! wo eid se pehle bakra le aya.
han han, wo eid se pehle bakra le aya badiya khilaya pilaya or
or eid ke din kaata he nahi
par jis ghar mein biryani bani thi, uske bahar se chakkar kata ke le aya ki dekh
tere sath bhi ye ho sakta tha theek hai,
hum tujhe pyar karte hai
maine kaha ye sab kyu kar raha hai? toh kehta hai PETA wale dimag kharab karne pe thodi na kuch kahenge
haaan
ye dekho maine jab se shuru kiya tha, maine ye game apni mom ke dath kehlna shuru kiya tha.
besauce jisne janam diya hai wo bhugte.
very simple rule !!!
maine kiya tha main 7 baje he ghar agaya.
dekho main acha kaam karke mood kharab karna chahta tha theek hai.
aisa nahi ki har bar kuc demeaning karo,
acha kaam karo usmein bhi hota hai, aap gol gappe khao or paani mat maango.
wo compensate karne ke liye sookha papdi dega doana fenk do,bolo
NAHI CAHAHIYE
wo tension mein aajega BC kya galat gol gappe khila raha hoon yaar ki iska mood ni ban raha?
ye game hai, acha game hai, khelo na isko !!!
han han ma'am aap try karo
maine apni maa ke sath he shuru kiya tha ye khelna.
last week end 7 baje he ghar agaya.                                     ( or iss joke pe wapas aane mein bhi 7 din laga diye )
or chup chap daal chawal khake, 4 bottle pani ka bharke fridge mein bhi laga diya.
 
meri maa ka poore din ghar mein dimag kharab hai ki
ye kya ho gaya mere bete ko? yaar aisa ?
beta bada ajib ajib behave kar raha hai?
so for last 4 years i am doing comedy. and
you know jabse main comedy kar raha hoon, tabse stress mein bhi hoon.
han han sach baat hai ye, iss se pehle mein theatre karta tha,
or ghanta koi stress nahi tha usmein ( idhar main sirf apni baat kar raha hoon, sirf apni, iska kisi or theatre se jude kisi bhi insan se vasta nahi hai )
maine 3 saal theatre kiya hai, 4 saal se stand  up kar raha hoon.
comedy stressful kaam hai yaar kyuki hasana padta hai  ( idhar bhi main sirf apni baat kara raha hoon sirf apni )
or nahi hansao toh mooh bante hai logo ke.
kyuki dekho tum nahi hansoge toh main hagg dunga,       ( on stage bombing, not literally  )
main haggunga toh tumhare mooh banenge.
tumhara mooh banega mera mooh banega
toh as a result mujhe jyada mooh dekhne padenge.
toh ye kaam *mere liye jyada stressful hai. ( kyuki yaar maine theatre seriously kabhi liya he nai tha )
but theatre mein aisa kuch nahi, theatre mein aisa andhera kar diya,
pata he nahi audience hai hai nahi hai nahi hai?
khali chairs ke liye perform kar rahe ho ye bhi nahi pata !
usmein kya he stress hai yaar? 3 mahine tum practice karte ho! blocking karte ho, apni lines rehearse
karte ho, finally wo din ata hai jab tumhari performance hoti hai,
performance kya hai jaake tumko stage pe ye he toh bolna hai !
pitaji agaya main,
ismein kya ghanta stress badha mera ?
koi stress nahi badha yaar.
* or jabse stand up kar raha hoon tabse stress jyada badh gaya hai.
and you know due to stress
main abhi skin bana raha hoon.
main abhi skin bana raha hoon, because for last four years
i am fighting with disease called Psoriasis.
kisi ko maloom hai ye?
basically ismein kuch nahi hai,
ismein ye hai ki body,
body patches mein na skin banane lag jaati hai.
extra skin, faltu ki skin ha, uska koi kaam bhi nahi hai.
jab bhi mera dimag kharab hota hai,
mere brain ko signal bhejti hai ki - bhai skin nahi bann rahi hai kuch kar.
toh mera brain meri body ko wapas signal bhejta hai ki tera bhai betha hai yahan
bana bc kitni skin bananni hai.
and i am like mere andar ye chal kya raha hai ye matlab?
matlab meri body mera brain mera hona chahiye na signal. !!!
toh kehre hai - tere ko chut*** khila he nahi rahe hai ye game.
audience - ye game khila he nahi rahe
more relatable karte hai isko,
toh dekho jab jab meri fatti hai, main skin banane lag jata hoon.
jab jab stress hota hai , meri fatti hai, main skin banata hun. - example
abhi jaise main ye baat tumhe bata raha hoon, tum L*** nahi hans rahe ho,
theek hai !!!!
toh tum hans nahi rahe ho or meri fatt rahi hai.
toh tumhe lag raha hai ye comedy sho chal raha hai, lekin kahin na kahin main skin bhi bana raha hoon.
or aisa nahi hai main Dr. ke pass nahi gaya tha, main gaya tha.
maine unko apne bare mein bataya ki  mujhe ye problem hai.
toh unhone mujhe bola ki dekho nitin ye
theek ho jaega but medicine ke sath tumko PARHEZZZZZ karna padega.!!
maine poocha kya hai parhez? toh kehti hain - sharab ni pini.
sutta ni marna, non veg ni khana
bahar ka ni khana or tala hua ni khana
maine kaha ma'am aalu aalu ? toh kehti                                 - WO TOH BILKUL BHI NI KHANA !!!!
toh main phir bacha kya hua hai ?
aap prescription mein gau mutra likh ke de do na seedha seedha. matlab
pi lenge
jaise wo sadhvi pragya thakur ji ka cancer theek hua hai, mera bhi psoriasis theek ho jaega.
basically mujhe stress kisi bhi baat ka nahi hai, meri life badi sahi chal rahi hai,
i have a good job, sab kuch sahi chal raha hai.
par mera har mahine ki dawai ka kharcha hai 10 hazar rupya.
*audience  - ohhhhhhh
main koi baat ni madam
ohhhh wali koi gall ni hai !!!
papa baju main bethe hai bolo donate kare.
main perform kar raha hoon, aap har joke pe 2 hazar ka note aise maaro aap.
jyada umeed nahi par iss table se 1 mahine ka dawai ajaega,
toh or kuch stress nahi hai mere ko abhi bas.
dawai khareedne ka stress hai yar har mahine ki.
mujhe ye samjh ni aaraha, ki bc meri bimari ki wajah uska ilaj kaise ho sakti hai yaar?
*audience - fuck this thaught is soo deep man.               fin.
VIDEO LIKE KARDO CHALO SHABASH
OR AGAR ACHA LAGA HAI TOH UPAR JO LIKHA HAI WO ZARUR KARDENA, THEEK HAI.  !!!!!!
