Jesse: Hold up, I had to get my vision back.
Jesse: The games run a lot faster when there's less people.
[Muffled metal music plays in the background]
Jesse: Stacking 'em up like...like poker chips!
Jose: I feel like I'll gain presidency (back).
Jesse: No, I think people will be voting me
in for a second term!
Jesse: Alright...
Jose: Or we may see a new president.
Jesse: Yeah, Charles.
Charles: Who's starting?
Jesse: I'm the president, remember?
Jose: Gotta give him a good card.
Jesse: Oh yeah...
Jesse: I'm still looking for something to throw out.
Jesse: And I don't have copies of those...
Jose: This kills me.
Jesse: Yeah, deck killer.
Jesse: See, that's the reason why aces cannot
be played double.
Jesse: Alright, president starts, and the
president says...
[Jesse babbles incoherently]
Jesse: We shall start with 2s in the form of 3s.
Jose: Dang...
[Jesse laughs]
Jesse: 2 3s?
Jesse: Alright, so now it's time for me...I
know I have some.
Jesse: Alright, I have one-- I don't have
some, I have one.
Jose: Charles is about to-- yeah, kill it.
Jesse: You play 2, Jose?
Jose: Yeah, just put more.
Jesse: Alright...4s...???
Jesse: I'm gonna run out of cards before I
get them organized!
Jose: Watch, Charles is about to double up
on us!
Jesse: No, he plays quad, uh...we have to
play either...
Jose: Alright.
Jesse: We have to play doubles.
Jose: Your turn Jesse.
Jesse: Uhh...2...5s?
Jesse: Well then I'm moving us up!
Jesse: ???...oh, well, that's the only one.
Jesse: The only time that that can't happen
is if, like, say--
Jose: 4 6s.
Jesse: No, say, like...
Jose: 4 6s.
Jesse: 4 6s...7...see, if all of the numbers
go down then I can only-- I have-- unless
all of the numbers go down, you have to play
the same amount.(?) That's what it was.
Jesse: But if all 4 got played, you can go.
Jesse: Non-matched...
Jesse: Matched...
Jesse: How many is that?
Charles: 2.
Jesse: 2? Okay.
Jose: So you did me like that, Charles.
Jesse: 9s!(?)
Jesse: Luckily, I have one of them.
Jesse: 9...
Jose: 2 10s.
Jesse: HA!
Charles: 10.
[Sarcastic laugh]
Jose: Okay, my turn?
Jesse: Jack or...
Jose: Jack.
Jesse: Jack? I'll raise you 2.
Jesse: Unless you got a jack--
Charles: 2 Kings.
Jose: 2 Kings? One, two.
Jesse: One king. Someone's killing this deck
and it's not me.
[Charles happily obliges to commit murder]
[Deck explodes]
Jesse: Deck killed!
Jesse: I'd hate to be the person who, um,
gets locked out.
Jose: My turn?
Jesse: Um...yeah.
Jose: 3 2s.
Jesse: 3? Ooh...
Jose: 3 2s.
Jesse: Whelp. I bet...do I have something?
Jesse: Ah, actually, with the situation I'm
in, I can pass.
Jesse: So, I pass.
Charles: Alright, 2.
Jose: 2?
Jesse: I see.
Jose: 2?
Jesse: Now anyone can play anything higher.
Jose: Anything higher?
Jesse: Anything higher than 2's 'cause all
the 2s are down.
Jose: 2 7s.
Jesse: 2 7s? I'll raise you 2 8s.
Charles: There's a Jack.
Jose: Jack?
Jose: Your majesty.
Jesse: Oh, I didn't know the queen of England
existed twice!
Charles: Queen.
Jose: Boom.
[Deck explodes violently]
Jesse: Deck killer! Oh! Presidency!
[Presidency intensifies]
Jesse: Oh dang, he's got one and I've got
two. Should have thought this through.
Charles: Pass.
Jesse: No. This looks bad.
[Laughing]
Charles: Do we both have cards higher than 5?
Jesse: We've got no-- uh, yeah!
Charles: So then we should split the decks?
Jesse: Yep-- no, not split the decks, it's
only split the last deck that was pulled by
an ace.
[More laughing]
Charles: Time for an epic showdown.
Jesse: Oh, no, this ain't gonna be epic. This should
end fairly quickly-- deal these out, president deals.
[Dealing intensifies]
Jesse: Didn't even shuffle them up!
Jesse: He's like, "Where do I go?"!
Jesse: Alright, now who's turn was it?
Jesse: Jose was last to play a legal card,
so that means it's my turn, and since there's
no deck to start, I have to start with 2 2s.
Charles: 2 2s.
Jose: 2 2s.
Jesse: Uhhh...
Charles: Tutus! (Hentai)
Jesse: 7.
Charles: 2 7s.
Jose: Okay.
Jesse: Killed!
[Deck explodes]
Jose: Uh oh, Charles.
Jesse: I am required to pass-- we have to
deal these out again!
Jose: Let me shuffle them.
Charles: Let's not kill the deck so quickly.
Jesse: That's the only reason I couldn't play
is because the last 2 cards I had--
Jose: Does Charles get cards too?
Jesse: Yeah, Charles gets cards too 'cause
we both had to pass and it's my turn, so I
HAVE TO START THIS ROUND AGAIN!
Charles: Haw. Let's try this again.
Jesse: That's...2...we'll have to find a way
to edit this part out, 'cause I was hoping
that ??? would exist.
Jesse: 7...lemme guess, 2 7s!?
Charles: Yep.
Jose: Ooh.
Jesse: 2...Queens.
Charles: 2 Queens.
Jesse: Kill.
[Deck explodes]
Jose: Oh, Charles.
Charles: Pass.
Jesse: You don't have anything 5 or below?
You are kidding.
[Laughing]
Charles: I told you not to kill it so soon!
Jesse: I wasn't trying to kill it. Techincally,
I had to kill it 'cause I had no other card
to play!
[Sinister laughing]
[Dealing intensifies]
Jesse: Okay.
Charles: I hope we're not thinking the same
thing right now.
Jesse: We're about to find out!
Jesse & Charles: 2.
Jose: 2 2s!
Charles: 2.
Jesse: Ha, finally!
Jesse: Let's jump to 8!
Jesse: Don't got anything higher...3 Queens!
Charles: Queen.
Jesse: I 
have to pass.
Jose: Charles:
Jesse: Yes.
[Deck explodes]
Jose: Deck killer.
Jesse: Deck kill.
Jose: Jesse, I feel like...
Jesse: I don't have anything lower.
Charles: 2.
Jesse: This is actually the end right now.
[Chair scoots back]
[Card throwing intensifies]
Jesse: Flip it over.
[Everything explodes]
Jesse: That's the Vice President-- Winnraaaaar!!!
