Okay so I am here today with my friends
Korinne and Izzy and we understand that
Justin and Colby and Kwaku did an
episode a little while ago on Mormon
dating from a guy's perspective so we're
here to give it from a girl's
perspective.
So something that the guys
talked about is they talked about asking
permission to kiss someone. What are your
guys thoughts? Okay I have thoughts on
this. So, my current boyfriend right now,
when we first started dating, it was
like our third day in and we'd like
finished a movie or something and then he
was like, "Hey, can I give you a kiss?"
I literally picked up a pillow and
started screaming into it because
I felt so uncomfortable. And then after, I was
like, "Wait, are you serious?" And he was like,
"Sorry I really was just trying to be
respectful." Mood completely changed and I was
like, "Yeah sure." Not the best first kiss.
So guys. I don't know. Like it was
respectful I appreciated it but kind of
awkward mood, not there. It changes
things, like it changes everything when
you're like, "Oh, can I kiss you?" instead of...
I would rather just have like, like if
the moment is there, go for it. Yeah like if you're
holding hands, if you're like showing the
signs, yeah, totally fine. But what do you think?
Hey I'm not a good one to ask on this one cuz I don't
think I've ever been asked if I could be kissed. I
don't think it's very common. I don't
think people do it but when they do it, I feel like it
would make the situation more awkward, I
feel like you just know, like you feel
the vibes and then yeah go for it.
Honestly, take a leap of faith, if she turns you down,
sorry guys. Yeah.
I've literally had someone ask permission to
hold my hand before. No, that's weird.
I almost said no. It was just weird because
I personally like a guy who's really
confident and will just go for it and I
don't know, I could see how people are
trying to be respectful in that way but--For me it just shows like awkward. That they're
like, they don't feel confident
that you like them back. On the flip
side, I know Kwaku and all them, they
talked about consent a lot and that is a
big thing nowadays. You're like, "Oh,
do I have consent to like touch your
shoulder?" Things like that where it's like...
I feel like if you're giving the signs,
you are consenting. So what are the
signs? Let's talk about signs that
girls can give guys, that guys need to
learn how to pick up on. Yeah,
I think personally for me I feel like I
get really flirty and touchy but if I'm
not flirty and touchy, you definitely
know I'm not interested. Like if it's a third
date and I'm not like *touchy* it means no, it means I'm not into you. That was a cute moment right there.
I felt manly. There are things that girls can do. So like
for holding hands, I feel like
it's so obvious if a girl wants you to
hold her hand. Oh yeah. If a girl wants you
to hold her hand, their hand will be out
there and available to hold but if a
girl doesn't want you to hold their hand,
they're gonna be like-- their arms are crossed, they're
sitting on their hand, like it's just
pretty easy to tell I think. So I
don't think that girls are as
misunderstood or
difficult to understand as guys think.
Because I feel like if you're just
watching the body language and looking
for those signs then it's not that hard. I also like if you spend a lot of
time with them, like if you've gone on
multiple dates or something, then you're
like yeah like I'm kind of like
expecting us a little bit like if it's
like your fifth date you're like well
maybe I don't know like but go for it so
so for you guys that don't know ghosting
actually is when you're going on dates
or someone and like maybe you text her a
lot and then all sudden she just stops
texting you and will answer your call or
vice versa or the boy yeah the boy does
it - I've had that happen is it totally
socially unacceptable to that or is that
becoming more acceptable how do you
think I think it's totally wrong I mean
I've been guilty of it because you get
awkward in these awkward situations when
you're like I don't want to be rude you
know so
yeah no I know I feel yeah I know what
you're saying yeah
okay there are times when I think you
don't like ghost things okay don't get
me wrong don't call me that
but imagine every one guy and it was
like fine but you never texted back like
I don't feel like you needed to like
like I'm sorry I just don't really want
to see you again like I think you can
like kind of just like distance yourself
okay whereas if you have been dating or
like you've been going on lots of dates
and you just like drop off the face of
the earth like that's not okay
definitely don't be I might be wrong on
this but in the Pershing's of youth it
even talks about how dating is about
respecting the person and if you're
ghosting someone else feel like that
should no no I think honestly honestly
is the big honesty is honestly the
biggest thing it's so important because
if you lead people on I mean I feel like
that's the main reason for ghosting is
because someone just realized this crap
I've gone too far
and I don't know what to do now besides
not answer anything that they're saying
to me I think it's so much better just
to cut it off as soon as you know it's
not right rather than drag it on way too
long because I've been in situations
where it's like crap why do I keep
saying yes to these dates I don't know
and then you just keep going on like
this big thing and I feel like that's
when ghosting happens so I feel like as
soon as you know it's not there it's
easier just to cut it off and it's gonna
be uncomfortable then but it'd be even
worse if you keep it going
I think it's important to realize to
what Korean said that there's a
difference between ghosting and actually
like just like giving your space between
someone cuz I'd yeah guys a lot of times
okay ghost Ariane conversation oh I'm
sorry I didn't ghost you at all and so I
think it's important to realize like
there's these new terms in dating that I
feel like people jump to all the sudden
and get fended by and you're like yeah
dude I'd never have but where what is
ghosting like they disappear like yeah
yeah there's the ghost ghost in
disappeared they're kinda you can't see
any there
I don't think so I think I don't know I
maybe this is why I like dating was hard
for me but I'm very bold I'm very -
right did I know some guys don't like
that good so I know it's so much easier
for me though because I don't don't
worry about like the playing games yeah
what am i doing I know and you turned
your friend you're like this to him all
the time no matter what what are you
carrying what I say culture thing and I
don't understand I feel not just in Utah
I feel like everybody's got your real
thing yeah so what could we do look at
it yeah nice Ben make my body the other
day I posted on my like snapchat story
okay I was like everyone keeps talking
about how you taught dating sucks but
everyone keeps side doing the same thing
and keep talking about the same thing so
why like what's wrong what are we
missing you know like why do we keep
ghosting why do we keep playing games
again I feel like I love what you said I
love you what you said about being more
bold yeah and just being direct like the
more honest we are with ourselves about
our feelings and like what we're
actually feeling the more honest we are
to others you know and like yeah so I
think that's so important to just be
like hey I'm really not feeling it but
you're an awesome like you're an awesome
dude and then hoping they don't get
offended and people need to not get
offended so easily yeah and this is
coming from the person forgets
everything but there's this Co that we
talk about in my book of Mormon class um
but we could choose to not be offended
nobody is literally like offending us
like we can control how we react to
things our emotions and I think that's a
big thing it does not take things so
personally because it's not gonna work
out with everyone in the end hopefully
is just gonna work out with that one
person and you're gonna make it work
so don't they get to invest it like you
want to invest it into relationships and
into people but not to a point where you
just get devastated after you mean cuz
I've gone through that where it's like
we're not even dating and it's like I
get so heartbroken
I did not currently I would get two
points were looking good there's this
guy who I liked and we weren't even
dating and I was just so sad when we
stop talking you don't know I definitely
been there and I've been thinking about
that a lot actually lately is just like
the fact that it's not gonna work out
with every person that you date and so I
know there's like a year ago and I this
dude like I really liked him else I
can't we'd be so good together like this
relationship would be solid and but he
didn't like reciprocate that we went on
like four dates and you didn't
reciprocate it and then I was like Kaiba
what the heck is wrong with me like we
would have been awesome and I think for
a minute I had like anger towards him si
well I'm cool like I'm Way rad why do
you think yeah I'm done with you
no no yeah but I think that that I've
been thinking about that lately and like
just cuz it didn't work out with him
like obviously that was not meant to
work out God has a perfect plan you know
yeah it's that punish super real and so
I I just been like debating that and my
Institute teacher I just have lots of
stories for you guys but my institute
teacher there the day he was he's
talking about um corn on the cob and he
was like this was related to dating I
promise but he said um corn on the cob
with some butter and some piranha is so
good like we love corn on the cob so yes
you you like go ahead and slather some
strawberries on that corn and might try
to eat that like they don't pair
together right but strawberries no
listen hear me I don't like anyway so if
you just was talking about when you saw
there's some strawberries or not fruit
oh they don't yeah peanut butter they
don't go there like Cory they're really
good separate I'll give you half
strawberries along they're really good
for some people and then corn alone is
like really good by itself but together
they just don't work and so sometimes in
relationships that happens like we have
some really good people like awesome
stellar people but when they come
together they just don't work together
and I feel like that is a perfect way to
put this situation I really get offended
like just because you feel your way rad
and you feel he's way red you can't get
offended by except you know like if
nothing happens for
so I think that's so important to keep
in mind that something that I've been
trying to keep in mind maybe I love that
ladies have found people that it drives
with right I found your buddy to put or
a butter on my heart I mean it's
probably straight diabetes amazing okay
guys so we know there's lots of things
that girls probably do that you don't
like - dating Bo we want to talk about a
few things that really kind of are cus
in dating that you guys do companion yes
okay so first thing that I think of okay
there was this guy he was talking to his
roommates and he was convinced that he
should never tell a girl that he was
taking her on a date because the girl
would get crazy and think that she was
gonna want to get married in disguise so
I think it's so important to let girls
know when it's a date
that K is a date so that you're like
showing your feelings you're like I
don't know even if you don't any
feelings you're just getting to know
each other yes that's the big thing is
just like hey this today this isn't a
date just say it and it's so awkward
when you're on those dates and you need
your card like you're like and then he's
like oh and he looks at you and you kind
of stir yeah no that's the thing like
the stare down pour my but it's really
one of those I not talked to so many
friends about that yeah how it's just
like awkward
well then guys feel bad too because
they're like noise want to treat you
like let me serve you
you're like I didn't know that was your
fault yes like I said hey you wanna hang
out okay okay now I'm gonna assume it's
not a date Oh having rated three P's
elder Oaks said that the three things -
dating the three P's are planned paid
for and paired off and so those are
important things that guys can do that
super easy like hey we're gonna pair off
we're gonna plan this like a little
jaunt to the like ice cream store down
the street just us - I was like going
with that was a cool song
oh yes first thing I don't know I was
where does that come from no idea it's
good to keep going guys no freak apostle
of the Lord said it like guys know I
love that I think that I think that's so
true what about guys who think that they
deserve to get some kind of physical I
call from and beyond today I want to say
like girls never owe anything like girls
out there you never owe anything to guys
just because he took you on a nice day
yeah or he was nice your family your
friends you know anything to him if you
still don't feel that way towards him
that's okay you're not obligated to go
on more dates or give him any kind of
physical affection that he's looking for
because you're just not you really get
it to that no and guys you should never
make a girl feel obligated like you not
to me shows that you don't respect the
woman or womanhood in general or your
priesthood like honestly I'm not kidding
like yeah if you expect that from a girl
that's like super-sick oh and I feel
like it's a real thing like there are
some people in Provo and just in general
with like they are just trying they're
not trying to get a relationship at all
they're just trying to get the physical
stuff make moles nicmos can we talk
about that like one yeah it's so good so
why is that a potato is non-committal
make out and it's pretty much like
sleeping around for the rest of the
world is nicmos in Provo I feel like is
it kind of a good way to explain it
we're guys they're not interested in
like taking out on dates or like getting
to know here that does want to make out
it's just not good I mean I feel like
that's pretty self-explanatory but I
personally feel like guys should only be
trying to get kind of physical stuff if
you're looking to pursue a relationship
with someone because I feel like that's
something that's not sacred but it's
getting towards if I explain this right
well I also think like if you're kissing
someone
shows like physical affection shows like
that you love them and some form you
know like obviously you're not like in
love with them but you know it's like
hey I'm interested yeah and so if you
are just making out with someone for no
reason then that's not using it for the
right wait you know it's not just for
zhan it's like for your own pleasure
basically okay I don't know what do you
guys think about like when that's okay
to start doing does that like when
holding hands and kissing and things
like that yeah like oh yeah okay so like
is it okay to piss on their first date
would you think about that because lots
of people have varying views on them ya
know for me I think it depends on the
situation because if it's like someone
who you've been really close friends
with for a long time and you know you
like each other but it's the first date
that might be okay because you known
each other for a little bit on but for
the most part I would say you probably
don't kiss on the first date especially
if it's like you guys don't really know
each other that well especially if it's
the first time you're meeting I know
that sometimes there's like an instant
connection but for me I usually just
tried not to kiss on the first date I
feel like that's done be moving too fast
for me and I feel like for me what's
most important in dating is like your
emotional connection that you have I'm
the what you're feeling and you can't
know someone emotionally I feel like on
the first date no you can't know what
makes them tick
and I feel like physical intimacy should
come a lot like I think it's important
to like there's no harm in waiting yeah
right yeah because once you like cross
that barrier you've crossed that bird
yeah and then kissed him and then you're
like oh my gosh I actually really yeah
so it's good just to avoid I feel like
physical I'm like the physical stuff
until later on yeah yeah I've kind of
figured out where you feel emotionally
and spiritually yeah I feel like another
thing too because we practice abstinence
when you already start moving too
quickly to making out part there's not
that much further to go and I feel like
that's just a really easy way that you
could slip into the wrong things and
start getting into trouble there just
because there's only so far you can
progress so that's why I think about
that time okay guys so marathon dates
are when it literally is a marathon you
run a marathon together
you know everyone ate lots way too long
so the first date it would be like one
did more than one to two hours is what
we agreed on right we think that more
than one to two hours is just this a
little too long even going three is
pushing it at that point yeah you should
never like be hungry for the next meal
or try to go for like two meals yeah
three meals because that's just too much
it should be like a meal or like ice
cream or something planned and it should
never go like wait too much over that
yeah and honestly we at least for me in
my opinion like I don't want to go on a
first date with anyone if it's more than
an hour it's you like I feel like I've
reached my like emotional capacity think
I might be really enjoying myself like
take a break we're just like let's
regroup another day yeah whereas there's
only so many questions you can ask yeah
you know the first day yeah it's all
like we're smalls not getting to know
each other and you've got a lever
wanting more don't put it all out on the
table after the first day and don't let
it go too long because you got to keep
her interested in the intriguing yeah
girls are super confusing we understand
that and so even if they're acting like
they're having the way good time on your
first date most like chances are they
probably may be okay sure no yeah some
girls I don't know so I think the best
is to just engage it I wanted to and
then take her home and then wait for the
posting right oh my gosh yes okay
thoughts on post a text it's okay yeah
so proposed a text is after you've on a
date either the girl that guy sends the
text I and the text is like oh my gosh
thanks so much I had such a good time
I'd love to do this again sometime
that text you but it's basically
reaffirming that yeah I do it was great
we want to see each other again
yeah okay but I hit first four years I
don't send a post a text sorry to anyone
because I didn't think it was important
I was like oh they know I'm interested
like we talked about at the door like
when they drop me off like yeah we
should really do this again and so I
don't feel like I need to send a post a
text but then people got offended and I
was like what's going on here you know
like you didn't send a post a text I was
like oh sorry so I had a very good
message no fee
yeah no it's like a thing it's been
written rule so I've been really good to
us anyway cuz I guess it just like
confirms like yeah
let's do it again yeah but I didn't know
people expected it but I didn't write it
for years and I think though when you
realize it you're like oh you kind of
naturally sometimes do it too because
you're thinking about the guy after you
know and I feel like that's why it's
sweet and that's why people think it's
important it's because you're like still
thinking about them after yeah and I
think guys need a lot of like
affirmation because it's girls on dates
and they can't really pick up a
nonverbal signs didn't have to be this
way of delicious to post a text don't
stress like just try it one more time
see what happens yeah she responds like
it's not the integral cuz obviously I
don't know so you know that was fun yeah
so just play it out yeah okay so when
you guys are not into a guy we're in the
past when you haven't been into a guy
how do you show them you're not into
them like how can they get the hint like
what does that mean to you they need to
be able to read my mind I think I kind
of just like not playing games I guess
this is playing again but just kind of
like texting back in like a day or two
and just like hey and then just answer
like normal does that make sense i guy
the conversation is just kind of like
dies out and I don't read if they're
just like if the text is just like okay
or something I don't carry on the
conversation like yeah whereas if I like
them I'm gonna probably try to carry on
yeah well I feel like I'm so busy with
like school yeah work like there's so
much going on and if I'm not interested
in the person like I don't make time in
my day to see them and I honestly like
not making excuses I really just like
have my day filled I don't like if
they're an important person like I'll
make the time I'll not sleep although
I'll go hang with you yeah like if
they're not important I'll be like sorry
like I have lots going on like it I'm
being honest yeah but I'm not so that's
what I do kind of no I totally do that
so it's really like it's hard with
school and you know just being so busy
but I feel like if you can tell a girl
likes you'll buy if she is going out of
her way to text you or talk to you or
try to see you and sometimes girls are
busy yeah but I feel like a lot of girls
me and this goes for guys too we just
don't really like to be confrontational
and sometimes be really awkward a
straight up tell them no I don't want to
see you again so I feel like a really
easy way to tell if it girls interested
if they're going out of their way to do
making more time like you said yeah
otherwise if they're like hey I'm just
super study like super busy studying for
all my exams I probably wouldn't study
for my exams if I wasn't trying to but
we love guys anyway even though there
are some things it's okay because
nobody's perfect do we understand that
and there's always gonna be maybe
miscommunications but I think honestly
honesty is the best policy and just
being straight up in bold is the best
thing to do for girls and guys fellas
thanks so much for joining us today this
is so but having girls here I love you
but I love these girls so if you guys
enjoyed this episode let us know be sure
to comment down below with any other
tips or tricks you have for dating or
just your experiences that they've been
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dating anyone number she's a cool my
concert she still was amazing
wait what do you study universe Family
Studies it's the girl you water in your
dreams
