THE NEXT PRESIDENTIAL SELECTION 
700 DAYS AWAY FROM TODAY.
AND EVERYONE IS TRYING TO FIGURE
OUT WHO THE DEMOCRATS WILL RUN.
ACCORDING TO A NEW POLL, THE TOP
CHOICES ARE BERNIE SANDERS, JOE 
BIDEN AND BETO O'ROARK.
TWO OLD MEN AND A BABY.
BIDEN, BERNIE AND BETO.
IT SOUNDS LIKE LAW FIRM WOULD 
REPRESENT KERMIT THE FROG IN HIS
DIVORCE FROM MISS PIGGIE.
BUT THERE'S HUGE SUPPORT FROM 
THE DEMOGRAPHICS WHICH IS OLD 
MEN THAT FALL ASLEEP IN MOVIE 
THEATERS.
YESTERDAY JOE BIDEN SAID HE 
CONSIDERS HIMSELF THE MOST 
QUALIFIED PERSON IN THE COUNTRY.
IT'S CUTE THAT HE THINKS THAT 
MATTERS TO US.
BUT THERE'S A LOT TO TAKE IN 
HERE AND A LOT AT STAKE.
SO FOR MORE OF THIS, WE'LL CHECK
IN WITH POLITICAL ANALYST AND 
BLOGGER, MORT HASKELL AND THANK 
YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO TALK 
TO US, MORT.
>> MY PLEASURE.
SORRY.
I NEED A SECOND.
I'M JUST FINISHING UP TODAY'S 
BLOG POST.
>> Jimmy: OH, OKAY.
TAKE YOUR TIME.
AND FINISH THAT UP.
YEAH.
>> LOOKS GOOD.
MIMI, CAN YOU PUT THIS UP ON THE
INTERNET?
NOW LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.
WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?
>> Jimmy: I WANTED TO GET YOUR 
THOUGHTS ON THE CURRENT CROP OF 
POSSIBLE CANDIDATES FOR 
PRESIDENT IN 2020?
>> OH, HECK OF A FIELD OF 
BERNIE, BIDEN, IT ENERGIZES THE 
PARTY WHEN YOUNG PEOPLE HAVE 
FRESH IDEAS.
>> Jimmy: BY YOUNG PEOPLE, YOU 
MEAN BERNIE SANDERS AND JOE 
BIDEN?
>> ABSOLUTELY.
THOSE KIDS ARE JUST WHAT THE 
DEMOCRATS NEED TO GET THE BASE 
FIRED UP.
>> Jimmy: OH!
>> MIMI, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?
THAT'S RIGHT.
SHE DIED IN 1992.
SORRY ABOUT THAT.
NOW, WHERE WERE WE?
>> Jimmy: IT'S JIMMY AND I WAS 
WONDERING IF YOU HAD ANY DARK 
HORSE PICKS?
MAYBE THAT THE DEMOCRATS HAVEN'T
CONSIDERED YET OR WE HAVEN'T 
HEARD ABOUT?
>> WELL, IF YOU READ MY 
EXCLUSIVE FOR LARGE MONTH'S 
LARGE EDITION OF LAND LINE 
ENTHUSIAST -- 
>> Jimmy: I DIDN'T.
YEAH.
>> YOU WOULD KNOW I SUGGESTED A 
NUMBER OF FINE POTENTIAL 
OPTIONS.
REID, FEINSTEIN, BRIMLEY -- 
>> Jimmy: WILL FRED BRIMLEY?
THE GUY FROM THE DIABETES 
COMMERCIALS?
>> IT IS PRONOUNCED DIABETES.
AND YES, WILL FRED CAN BALANCE 
OUR BLOOD SUGAR, HE CAN ALSO 
BALANCE THE BUDGET.
>> Jimmy: OH, OKAY.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
I KNOW I SPEAK FOR ALL OF US 
WHEN I SAY WE APPRECIATE YOUR 
THOUGHTS AND YOUR EXPERTISE IN 
THESE AREAS.
>> MY PLEASURE, TOMMY.
CAN YOU CALL MY DAUGHTER AND 
TELL HER I NEED RIDE TO THE 
DOCTOR?
MY DAMN CELLULAR TELEPHONE IS ON
THE FRITZ.
THIS IS MORT.
HELLO.
THIS IS MORT.
HELLO.
>> Jimmy: THAT WAS MORT.
THIS IS INTERESTING.
A SHOCK, I'M SURE, TO PEOPLE AT 
CHICKEN OF THE SEA.
ACCORDING TO THE DEPARTMENT OF 
AGRICULTURE, CONSUMPTION OF 
CANNED TUNA OVER THE LAST THREE 
DECADES IS DOWN OVER 40%.
FEWER PEOPLE ARE EATING TUNA OUT
OF CANS THAN EVER BEFORE.
AND THE TUNA COMPANIES ARE 
BLAMING MILLENNIALS FOR THIS.
PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO EAT TUNA 
BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT TO OPEN 
A CAN.
I THOUGHT IT WAS BECAUSE TUNA IS
DISGUSTING.
BASICALLY, THEY TRICKED US INTO 
EATING CAT FOOD FOR 100 YEARS.
I DID WANT TO GET TO THE BOTTOM 
OF THIS.
SO JOINING ME FROM SAN DIEGO IS 
THE OWNER OF THE TUNA 
ASSOCIATION.
THANK YOU FOR TAKING TIME OUT 
FOR TUNA.
>> WELL, AS WE SAY IN THE TUNA 
BUSINESS, YES, WE CAN.
GET IT?
>> Jimmy: I GET IT.
I GET IT.
I DO.
SO GARY, HAVE YOU SEEN THIS 
REPORT THAT SAYS MILLENNIALS 
AREN'T EATING CANNED TUNA 
ANYMORE?
>> YES, I HAVE SEEN THAT.
IT'S TERRIBLE.
>> Jimmy: IT'S TERRIBLE.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHY THEY'RE
NOT EATING TUNA THE WAY WE DID 
GROWING UP?
>> HELL IF I KNOW.
FOR SOME REASON, KIDS TODAY 
AREN'T GUNG HO ABOUT EATING WET 
FISH AND EATING IT OUT OF A CAN 
ANYMORE.
BUT WE AT THE AMERICAN TUNA 
ASSOCIATION ARE WORKING HARD TO 
FIX THAT.
>> Jimmy: VERY GOOD.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO TRY TO FIX
THAT?
>> WE HAVE A WHOLE LOT OF 
EXCITING NEW PRODUCTS.
LIKE -- MIMI, WHERE IS THAT 
DOO-HICKEY?
>> Jimmy: SHE'S DEAD.
>> OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
NICE LADY.
SHE'LL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.
OH, HERE IT IS.
THIS IS WHAT WE CALL THE I-TUNA.
>> Jimmy: WHAT IS THAT?
>> A SMART CAN OF TUNA FISH.
IT PLAYS MUSIC.
SYNCS YOUR CALENDAR AND YOU CAN 
SEND TEXT MESSAGES TO YOUR 
FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES.
ALL WHILE MAKING DELICIOUS TUNA 
SALAD.
JUST A HOOT, JOEY.
>> Jimmy: IT'S JIMMY.
AND HOW MUCH DOES THAT RUN YOU?
>> I BELIEVE WE PRICED IT AT 
$399.99.
>> Jimmy: THAT WILL GET PROFITS 
BACK UP.
THAT'S FOR SURE.
>> TELL ME ABOUT IT.
ALSO, WE'RE LAUNCHING A NEW 
DATING SERVICE CALLED -- 
>> Jimmy: A DATING SERVICE?
>> IT'S CALLED TUNDER.
>> Jimmy: OKAY.
I LIKE IT.
HOW DOES IT WORK?
>> I'M GLAD YOU ASKED.
TUNA LOVERS FROM ALL OVER THE 
COUNTRY CAN MEET UP, GO OUT AND 
FALL IN LOVE OVER A NICE TUNA 
MELT.
DOESN'T THAT SOUND ROMANTIC?
>> Jimmy: IT SURE DOES.
HAS ANYONE SIGNED UP FOR TUNDER 
YET?
>> ONLY TV'S WILL FRED BRUMLEY.
MIMI, DO WE HAVE THAT?
>> Jimmy: I THINK SHE DIED IN 
1992.
>> WHY WASN'T I INFORMED?
>> Jimmy: DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER 
PRODUCTS THAT YOU HOME ARE 
APPEAL TO THE YOUNG PEOPLE?
>> YES, WE DO.
WE'RE PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THE 
FIRST TUNA FLAVORED VAPE PEN.
>> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW THAT 
SQUEEZING IT IS HOW THEY WORK.
>> THERE ARE MANY WAYS.
YOU'LL FIND OUT.
NOW, JOHNNY, LISTEN TO ME.
IT'S MADE FROM 100% ALBACORE AND
IT SMELLS LIKE MIDDLE SCHOOL 
CAFETERIA.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S GREAT.
>> MIMI USED TO LOVE THIS STUFF 
BEFORE SHE DIED IN '92.
I'LL NEVER FORGET THAT.
MIMI, WILL YOU GRAB ME A JAR OF 
THAT MIRACLE WHIP AND MANY THOSE
CRACKERS YOU GET AT THE A & P?
>> Jimmy: I'M SO SORRY YOU LOST 
MIMI.
>> MIMI!
WHERE DID THAT WOMAN GO?
>> Jimmy: GARY FROM THE TUNA 
ASSOCIATION.
[ APPLAUSE ]
WE'LL COME BACK FOR ONE MORE 
LATER.
