

## HAPPINESS

### (THE YELLOW BOOK)

First Edition

Copyright 2019©

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage or retrieval system, without the prior written consent of the author.

Smashwords Edition

You stroll into the happiness section of your local bookstore, and your jaw drops to the floor. Wouldn't it be nice if someone would take the time to weed through these books and summarize many of the biggest ideas for you?

Yes, and this is that book.

I'm glad we found each other.

" _Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler."_

— _Albert Einstein_

CONTENTS

GIANT IDEAS

PART 1: Our Pursuit

01 – Don't Pursue Happiness

02 – Pursue PERMA

03 – Choose a Purpose

04 – Determine Your Pleasure-Purpose Balance

05 – Choose the Right Job

06 – Seek Flow

PART 2: Our Thoughts

07 – Choose the Right Thoughts

08 – Set Beliefs & Goals

09 – Work on Your Internal World

10 – Explain Events Positively

11 – Be a Moderate Optimist

12 – Combat Your Negativity Bias

13 – Detach From Your Ego

14 – Train Your Subconscious

15 – Meditate

16 – Set Better Expectations

17 – Understand Your Brain Chemicals

PART 3: Our Emotions

18 – Feed Positive Emotions

19 – Maintain a High Positivity Ratio

20 – Confront Fear

21 – Believe Stress is Good for You

22 – Grow Through Adversity

23 – Accept Emotional Pain

24 – Take Responsibility & Forgive

PART 4: Our Relationships

25 – Build Strong Relationships

26 – Provide Children with Love & Security

27 – Seek Companionate Love

28 – Avoid Criticism & Arguments

29 – Take Responsibility for Your Life

30 – Be Compassionate

31 – Smile

PART 5: Our Health

32 – Become Healthier Using Optimism

33 – Exercise

34 – Eat Well

35 – Make Time for Rest & Play

36 – Don't Aim for Perfection

37 – Be an Individual

38 – Be Grateful

39 – Write Your Thoughts

PART 6: Our Success

40 – Don't Hinge Happiness on Success

41 – Seek Mastery

42 – Be Persistent

43 – Use Deliberate Practice

44 – Focus on Your ONE Thing

45 – Use the Power of Asking

46 – Understand Your Personality

47 – Play to Your Strengths

PART 7: Our Decisions

48 – Make Lots of Decisions

49 – Reduce Your Choices & Freedom

50 – Simplify & Organize

51 – Moderate Pleasures & Increase Gratifications

52 – Resist Bad Habits & Create Good Ones

53 – Use Intrinsic Motivators

54 – Determine Your Values

55 – Cultivate Virtue

PART 8: Our Time

56 – Let Go of the Past

57 – Don't Try to Predict the Future

58 – Live in the Present

59 – Break Down Big Goals

60 – Time Block

PART 9: Our Money

61 – Spend Money on Experiences

62 – Minimize Debt

63 – Live Modestly

64 – Don't Focus on Wealth

BEYOND THIS BOOK

# GIANT IDEAS

### What is TyVsTime?

TyVsTime (read Ty Versus Time) is the pursuit to simplify everything. In a world drowning in information, we can't possibly read everything, we don't know what we don't know, and we don't even know what questions we should be asking. This is unfortunate because the best way for us to continually improve is by building on each other's ideas. TyVsTime seeks to provide a solution by capturing the greatest ideas of the world and presenting them in a clear and concise way.

### What makes this book special?

We analyzed hundreds of books on happiness, determined over 40 of the best ones, and jammed their best ideas into this book. This is a straight-shooter, down to brass tacks type of book. It contains 64 big ideas that have been broken down and de-fluffed. Like the CliffsNotes of happiness books. This book is an effort to uncover, simplify, and highlight some of the biggest ideas on finding more happiness in our everyday life because some of us just want to get to the heart of the matter... and be a little happier. Note that these are suggested ideas to achieve greater happiness in your life. Try them all and determine which ones work best for you.

### Where did these ideas come from?

The ideas outlined in this book were derived from many researchers in the general field of happiness. These researchers were asked if they would like to provide feedback on the sections about their work prior to publishing. Many were happy to do so and we're grateful. Nevertheless, all ideas presented in this book should be viewed as interpretations by TyVsTime. We encourage you to pick up the books of the ideas that interest you in order to gain a more comprehensive understanding.

# PART 1:  
Our Pursuit

## 01 — Don't Pursue Happiness

"The Happiness Hypothesis" by Jonathan Haidt

Is it beneficial to always ask yourself: "Am I happy?" and "How could I become happier?" We may find that the more we strive to be happy, the less happy we become. It's difficult to grasp the idea that pursuing happiness can chase happiness away, but this is especially true when we look for it in the wrong places such as with food, sex, drugs, and luxury items. Instead of being shortcuts to happiness, these things often provide brief escapes from our discontentments only to return us to even lower states after their effects wear off.

The hedonic treadmill is the theory that while we may experience emotional spikes following positive or negative events, we generally stay at the same happiness level no matter what happens to us. It's easy to get stuck on the hedonic treadmill by thinking _when I get X, I'll be happy_. This thought pattern creates a never-ending cycle that's often a better path to frustration and disappointment than to lasting happiness. The more we pursue these illusions of happiness, the more we sacrifice the real thing.

Putting happiness on a pedestal is the wrong approach as true happiness arrives when we aren't paying attention and it isn't possible to be happy all the time. Rather than trying to squeeze as much happiness out of each moment, we're better off to allow happiness to come as a byproduct of what we do. If we get the conditions right, happiness will show up naturally without us having to force it.

### ACTIONABLES

● Get off the hedonic treadmill by ending _when I get X, I'll be happy_ thoughts.

● Avoid over-analyzing and striving to maximize your happiness in each moment.

● Accept that you can't be happy or feel positive emotions all the time.

● Instead of pursuing happiness directly, allow it to come naturally as a byproduct by seeking positive experiences.

## 02 — Pursue PERMA

"Flourish" by Martin E. P. Seligman

If you could hook yourself up to a machine that would pump you with positive emotions all day, would you do it? By putting too much emphasis on creating happiness, we may ignore the other elements that make our lives worth living. We tend to measure our happiness by our frequency of positive emotions, but, while positive emotions are very important, we require much more than this to feel fulfilled. In addition to positive emotions, we crave engagement, relationships, meaning, and accomplishment. These five elements (PERMA) make up our well-being:

1. **Positive Emotions** – Do we have mostly positive thoughts and feelings such as love, peace, inspiration, hope, compassion, gratitude, satisfaction, and curiosity?

2. **Engagement** – Do we experience flow (high engagement) in our work?

3. **Relationships** – Do we have close, meaningful, and intimate relationships?

4. **Meaning** – Do we have a strong sense of purpose in our work, philanthropic efforts, family, community, religion, political party, or movement?

5. **Accomplishment** – Do we feel regular success, achievement, accomplishment, winning, and progress toward mastery?

While introverts may generally not experience as many positive emotions or have as many strong relationships as extroverts, they can have higher engagement and meaning in their lives providing them with greater overall life satisfaction. In one study, soldiers were asked questions to measure their PERMA and their scores were found to be good predictors of future promotions, as well as suicides. We can create a more fulfilling life by deliberately trying to address all elements of PERMA.

### ACTIONABLES

● Remember that positive emotions are only a fraction of your life satisfaction.

● To become truly fulfilled, pursue all elements of PERMA: positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning, and accomplishment.

## 03 — Choose a Purpose

"Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor E. Frankl

Have you chosen your life purpose or are you waiting for it to choose you? Happiness isn't the purpose of life, but having a purpose creates happiness. Instead of living for happiness, we can attain greater life contentment by choosing a purpose that goes beyond merely satisfying our personal needs and desires. When we can't find meaning in our lives, we feel lost and it welcomes negative emotions. We promote positive emotions by choosing a meaning that gives us something to look forward to and work toward every day. The right purpose can be our greatest source of motivation. In an extreme example of this, some Holocaust prisoners couldn't look past their horrible circumstances and welcomed death while others were able to find a purpose to continue living and move forward.

Since there isn't one correct and best way for us to live, it's up to us to choose a purpose that fits with our unique situation, personality, and interests. This purpose doesn't have to be elaborate or extravagant. We can find meaning in our current circumstances without completely reshaping our lives. Our purpose can be to seek mastery at our job even if it isn't necessary, raise great children, or spread happiness and love to everyone we meet. The most fulfilling purposes aren't driven by external rewards. As long as our purpose isn't strictly to gain personal money, power, or benefits, we're on the right track.

### ACTIONABLES

● Remember that your life purpose is for you to decide.

● Choose a life purpose based on your unique situation, personality, and interests.

● Make sure your purpose resonates strongly with you and gives you motivation.

## 04 — Determine Your Pleasure-Purpose Balance

"Happiness by Design" by Paul Dolan

If your friends tell you that you work or play too much, are they right? Spending time on our life purpose is essential to our happiness, but it's also important to make time for pleasurable activities to feel balanced. Balance doesn't come from spending the same amount of time on enjoyable activities as we do on meaningful ones, but by finding and maintaining our ideal mixture of these activities. This mixture is unique to each person with some of us valuing work more than play and others valuing the opposite. No one is completely content with just one or the other type of activity; each person is happiest with his or her unique mixture. By realizing that others likely have a different, perhaps very different, ideal balance than us, we can become more understanding and accepting of their actions that don't reflect our own.

By analyzing our daily actions and emotions, we can try to pinpoint where we're happiest on the scale between a purely pleasurable and a purely purposeful life. How we typically spend our free time, whether it's doing a purposeful or pleasurable activity, can be a good indicator of what we value most. Playing around with our daily schedule helps us to determine if we have a good balance now or if we could become happier by changing it up. While attempting to find and achieve our ideal balance is a worthy pursuit, we can't expect to be able to sustain it every day. Our ideal balance may also shift as we get older or as our life circumstances change.

### ACTIONABLES

● Determine if you value more purposeful or pleasurable activities and plan your days accordingly.

● Understand that others will likely have different pleasure-purpose balances than you and be more accepting of their choices.

## 05 — Choose the Right Job

"Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life" by Brian Tracy

If you won a million dollars, would you quit your job? A feeling of discontent toward our jobs may indicate that we're in the wrong position or mindset or both. The most satisfying form of work doesn't require a high salary or financial benefits, but internal rewards of pleasure and purpose. While we're better off trying to make a living doing work that we enjoy, many people do it the opposite way; they try to find a job that pays enough so that they can retire early and then finally do what they actually want to do. Instead, we can chase what we want now and remove any misconceptions that we can't make a living doing it. One of the best ways to match ourselves with the right job is to first identify all of the jobs that play to our passions, strengths, and purpose and then to be persistent and willing to change careers until we find the right fit for us.

The good news is that it's never too late to change our career. A common piece of wisdom in the stock market is, "Don't put good money after bad," which means that we shouldn't keep putting money into an investment that's failing with a small likelihood of rebounding just because we're already invested in it. Similarly, just because we have a lot of time and money invested in our education and/or career, doesn't mean that we should stick with a career that we hate and can't learn to love. It's important to be willing to cut our losses and treat quitting as a learning experience that helps us to narrow down what we really want. Changing careers or choosing a job based on intrinsic motivations rather than financial incentives isn't easy, but it's certainly worthwhile.

### ACTIONABLES

● Avoid the trap of living for your retirement and match yourself with the right job by knowing your passions, strengths, and purpose so you can enjoy your life now.

● Ask yourself if your work is a job (you just show up), career (you are motivated by the prospect of moving up the ladder), or calling (intrinsically fulfilling).

## 06 — Seek Flow

Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Do you ever get so engrossed in your work that you forget to eat? Studies have found that we're at our happiest and perform our best work when we're fully engaged in what we're doing in a mental state called flow. This is contradictory to the popular belief that we're happiest when we're relaxing or enjoying a simple pleasure or after we've achieved something. Happiness really is in the journey and not the destination. We enter the flow state when we're completely immersed in challenging, but attainable activities. In flow, we become one and in complete harmony with the activity and tend to lose our sense of time. It's what people refer to when they say they're "in the zone."

We can find flow in any job or task even if it's repetitive work such as on an assembly line. The easiest way to achieve flow is to make use of our greatest strengths and talents in an activity and seek mastery and constant improvement instead of exerting only the minimal effort necessary. Flow also comes easily when we immerse ourselves in our interests and challenges we find personally rewarding. A good strategy is to treat life like a game and create clear goals and challenges around every activity. We can achieve flow in even the simplest of activities such as brushing our teeth by setting a goal to brush each side of each tooth for 3 seconds. To achieve flow in any activity:

1. **Set Goals** – Make challenging but attainable goals around the activity.

2. **See Progress** – Receive immediate feedback on the progress toward the goal.

3. **Focus Completely** – Remove distractions and completely engage in the task.

4. **Use Intrinsic Motivation** – Seek mastery and the simple enjoyment of the task.

### ACTIONABLES

● Try to find flow in every activity to achieve high life satisfaction and performance.

● Spend your free time on interesting and difficult hobbies.

● Seek mastery and constant improvement in everything you do.

● Set challenging goals for yourself that are slightly higher than your skill level.

# PART 2:  
Our Thoughts

## 07 — Choose the Right Thoughts

"Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life" by Brian Tracy

Is your mind your best friend or your worst enemy? We act as magnets that attract what we think about. Therefore, it's important to be careful about what we allow our minds to dwell on by trying to minimize thoughts of what we don't want and create thoughts of what we do want. It's our internal world (thoughts and attitude) rather than our external world (circumstances) that limits our happiness and potential the most. How we view the world is more important than our reality. If we have happy and positive thoughts, our world will reflect these back to us.

By always trying to change our negative thoughts and language to positive we can reduce our self-doubt and increase our creativity and productivity. Instead of getting mad at ourselves for having a negative thought, we can see it as an opportunity to change it to a positive one. While it isn't possible to think positive thoughts all of the time, the key is to try to think positively MOST of the time. Successful people maintain high levels of confidence and happiness by being generally positive about their good qualities, what they have done, and what they will do in the future.

Changing negative thoughts to positive ones can be tricky because we want to remove all traces of negativity. Telling ourselves that we WILL do something POSITIVE is much better than telling ourselves that we WON'T do something NEGATIVE. When we tell ourselves not to think about or do something, we often can't help but think about or do that thing. For example, by telling ourselves not to be nervous, we put nervousness in our thoughts, making us more likely to get nervous. While our intentions are good, such thoughts often create the opposite effect. Instead, if we tell ourselves that we'll do great without mentioning possible negative outcomes, we'll be more likely to achieve the desired results.

### ACTIONABLES

● Realize the power your thoughts have over your life and choose them carefully.

● Focus your thoughts on the results that you want rather than those you don't.

● When you catch yourself using negative language, try to change it to positive.

## 08 — Set Beliefs & Goals

"Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill

Are your self-limiting beliefs true? What we BELIEVE we're capable of dictates how we respond to our life events so our beliefs can become self-fulfilling prophecies. Our self-limiting beliefs are often learned in our childhood and can hold us back from happiness for our whole lives. It's important to question ALL of our beliefs, especially the ones that keep us from pursuing what we want, and to remain optimistic about our capabilities. There is nothing that we can't achieve once we have accepted that we can have it and are willing to put in the time and effort. What goals would we set for ourselves if we knew we couldn't fail? Our journey toward extraordinary results is built on our faith in ourselves and strengthened by our positive thoughts, language, and attitude. When our goals and beliefs are clear, we tend to attract people and opportunities synonymous with them.

Believing in ourselves and goal-setting are very important, but we can't simply will things into existence. Our beliefs must be backed by a strong purpose and the determination to persist when tested. We'll likely encounter difficult challenges along the way, but we can welcome them as they often lead to personal growth. Given that life is largely unpredictable, it's beneficial to keep some wiggle room in our long-term plans and remain open to all opportunities and possibilities that come our way. To realize our true potential:

1. **Set Big, Clear Goals** – Dream big and decide EXACTLY what we want.

2. **Write Them Down** – Writing intensifies our beliefs and likelihood of success.

3. **Be Willing to Pay the Price** – Accept the sacrifices that we'll have to make.

4 **. Make an Action Plan** – Break our goals down into smaller, manageable ones.

5. **Take Action** – Act on our plan immediately.

6. **Do Something Every Day** – Continual forward motion increases our momentum.

7. **Never Give Up** – Decide from the beginning that we'll never quit.

### ACTIONABLES

● Set big goals and reject self-limiting beliefs to improve your chances of success.

## 09 — Work on Your Internal World

"The Happiness Hypothesis" by Jonathan Haidt

Are you doing anything to increase your long-term happiness? We all played the "cortical lottery" by inheriting a brain with a happiness preset at birth. Winners have a high happiness preset making them naturally happy and positive and instilling them with the belief that things generally work out for the best. The losers have a low happiness preset making them more likely to get stuck in negative feedback loops with their negative thoughts leading to more negative thoughts. We believe that we would become happier by getting a promotion, finding the right companion, or buying the house of our dreams, but each time we get one of these things, we only experience a brief spike in happiness. We get used to our spouse, car, job, raise, house, and so on. We get used to major changes, positive or negative, far more quickly than we expect. Therefore, in the long-run, it doesn't really matter what happens to us because we always return to our happiness preset.

The good news is that our happiness preset isn't set in stone. While we can't improve it by meeting external desires, we can increase it by changing our mindset and internal world. We can become happier without changing anything outside of ourselves because our external world is actually a reflection of our internal one. One way to improve our internal world is to try to develop a positive mindset that allows us to be happy despite our current situation. For example, when faced with a new and difficult task, instead of telling ourselves, "This is too complicated" and creating negative energy, we can try to maintain a positive mindset and tell ourselves, "This will help me learn something new and be a valuable experience." By trying to catch and replace our negative thoughts when they arise, we can develop the habit of being more positive and improve our happiness preset.

### ACTIONABLES

● Remind yourself that external events only affect your short-term happiness.

● Increase your happiness preset by working on your internal world.

## 10 — Explain Events Positively

"Learned Optimism" by Martin E. P. Seligman

Do you see the world through rose-tinted glasses? Pessimists may view the world more accurately than optimists, but this isn't necessarily a good thing. Optimists generally have a better immune system and overall health, are more active, find it easier to build and maintain relationships, cope better with trauma, and believe that they have more control over their lives than pessimists. Optimists have an explanatory style that allows them to benefit from all life events no matter if they're positive or negative. They do this by finding positives in every situation even when there is a lot of negativity surrounding it. We can CHOOSE to explain negative events either negatively or positively. Both habits of thinking can be learned and are typically formed during childhood.

In one study with a group of children, half were given a difficult but solvable problem while the other half were given an unsolvable one. Both groups were then given a different problem that was challenging but solvable. The group that previously had the unsolvable problem quit the new problem much quicker than the other group because they developed a pessimistic mindset. Children who learn that adversity can be overcome are more likely to develop an optimistic style. Crises can turn out to be positive experiences depending on how we handle them. We can use positive self-talk to develop a more optimistic style and reap the benefits.

### ACTIONABLES

● Use positive self-talk to dispute pessimistic thoughts and feelings of helplessness.

● Spread optimism and surround yourself with positive people.

● Write down three things that went well in your day and why they went well to highlight the positives in your life and help you develop an optimistic mindset.

## 11 — Be a Moderate Optimist

"The Optimism Bias" by Tali Sharot

If we all believe that we're above average, where are the below average people? We're likely to be more optimistic about our own abilities and future than someone else's. Even though others have tried and failed, we may believe that we're different and more likely to succeed. This is our optimism bias and it's generally a good thing. Our optimism bias makes us feel like we have greater control over our future and this pushes us to take action to help our situation instead of feeling helpless and doing nothing.

Contrary to popular belief, always setting low expectations won't make us less disappointed during the lows and happier during the highs. Pessimism doesn't protect us from disappointment or increase our overall happiness. Instead, having positive expectations makes us happier and more successful by giving us the motivation to work harder to achieve our goals and learn from mistakes rather than dwell on them. Keeping our expectations low isn't a good strategy but having expectations that are too high isn't the best strategy either. One study found that moderate optimists generally make better decisions, have a better work ethic, save more, and smoke less than pessimists and extreme optimists.

In addition, we feel the same emotions when we accomplish a goal as we do when we only imagine accomplishing it. Therefore, we may get more enjoyment from the anticipation of a positive event than from the actual experience. Thinking about good things in our future makes us feel good today. Similarly, we feel worse by thinking about possible negative outcomes. It's in our best interest to try to remain optimistic and complete dreaded events right away instead of putting them off. The longer we avoid them, the longer we suffer by thinking about them.

### ACTIONABLES

● Try to be a moderate optimist by expecting good things and remaining positive.

● Remember that you can get more satisfaction from the anticipation of a positive event than from the actual experience.

## 12 — Combat Your Negativity Bias

"Hardwiring Happiness" by Rick Hanson

Were we designed for happiness or survival? We have a hardwired negativity bias: a greater sensitivity and affinity to negative events than positive ones. We like to complain and read bad news in the newspaper, we respond quicker and more intensely to danger than opportunity, and insults and losses tend to affect us more than the equivalent compliments and gains. Good experiences tend to bounce off our brain while negative experiences tend to sink in. We may have many positive experiences in a day, but even a single negative one can often dominate our thoughts. Ultimately, we were designed for survival, not happiness. We're hardwired to focus on negatives rather than positives, but we live in a much safer world today where our negativity bias isn't as vital to our survival as it was to our ancestors'.

We can combat our negativity bias and become happier by changing the way we handle our positive experiences. By highlighting and appreciating each positive experience, we allow them to be absorbed by our brain, which prevents them from being overshadowed by the negatives. Recognizing, acknowledging, and dwelling on positive events reinforces the joy and happiness felt from these experiences. On the other hand, when we have a negative experience, we're best to avoid giving it much attention or dwelling on it for very long. Over time, we can build a habit of picking out the positives in every situation and minimize the effects of negative experiences on our happiness.

### ACTIONABLES

● Be aware of your negativity bias and remind yourself to notice and appreciate the positives in your life and reduce your attention to the negatives.

● When you have a positive experience, recognize it, hold the enjoyment in your thoughts for a couple moments, and recall it at the end of the day.

## 13 — Detach from Your Ego

"The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle

What has your ego ever done for you? Our thoughts can be our worst enemy by constantly tormenting us and making us a slave to our ego without knowing it. Our ego gives us a feeling of pride in being superior to others. It's the voice in our head that tries to persuade us to seek respect, recognition, and approval from others and if it doesn't get it, our happiness pays the price. It gets in the way of our happiness and can make us coldhearted and cruel. When we give our ego what it wants, it simply moves on to the next thing that it wants. Therefore, indulging it is a losing battle because it will never be completely satisfied. Buddhism teaches us that the ego is too difficult to control and proposes that we reject and detach from it.

Most of our thoughts are repetitive, harmful, and the work of our ego. They make a lot of noise, but they're not us. We identify our thoughts with who we are, but we're actually a deeper consciousness beneath them. We have the ability to embrace this higher level of consciousness by separating ourselves from our thoughts and just listening to them. By trying to misidentify with our mind, we can break its power over us. This can be the beginning of the end of involuntary, impulsive, and egotistical thoughts. Over time our consciousness will grow stronger. Instead of identifying with our mind, we can treat our mind as a tool and put it away when we're done using it. We can measure our success of letting go of our ego and compulsive thoughts by the degree of peace we feel within.

### ACTIONABLES

● Choose to be humble and let go of your pride.

● Deny your ego by not pursuing respect, recognition, or the approval of others.

● When you have an unwanted thought or emotion, just observe it as if you are separate from it. Reject it and detach yourself from it by realizing it's not you.

## 14 — Train Your Subconscious

"The Happiness Hypothesis" by Jonathan Haidt

Do you have as much control over your thoughts and actions as you think? Our conscious mind is in control as long as our subconscious mind doesn't have other desires. Our subconscious influences most of our actions without our realization and this is often the reason why we do things we later regret. It reacts automatically based on instinct, impulse, and habit often for immediate pleasure. Some examples of the influence of our subconscious: we set our alarm, but when it goes off, we choose to stay in bed; we avoid ordering dessert, but if placed in front of us, we can't resist; we want to quit smoking and have tried everything but can't.

Our conscious resides in our brain's frontal cortex and helps to control our subconscious actions. It also helps us to make well-informed decisions, plan, and think creatively. Unbeknownst to us, our conscious often acts as an advisor, giving ideas to, and a lawyer, giving defense for, our subconscious decisions. This is why we can prove someone's reasoning is flawed but still be unable to change their mind on the decision. Their reason was made by their conscious to try to justify the decision AFTER their subconscious made the decision. This demonstrates that we often seek arguments, not to find the truth, but to justify our actions and beliefs.

While we only have some control over our thoughts, feelings, and actions, we can take more control and become happier by being aware of and training our subconscious. Unfortunately, we can't change our subconscious in an instant. It must be retrained over time and this can be a long and difficult process. Learning how to train our subconscious is one of the best things we can do for our self-improvement.

### ACTIONABLES

● Watch your subconscious thoughts, actions, and impulses and regain control.

● Replace negative actions with positive ones using IF-THEN statements. For example, IF I crave a cigarette, THEN I will do 10 push-ups instead.

## 15 — Meditate

"10% Happier" by Dan Harris

Is meditation only for monks and spiritual seekers? Studies suggest regular meditation can improve our mental & physical health in many ways including:

● Less Stress & Anxiety – The brain region associated with stress shrinks, leading us to think more clearly, reduce negative thoughts, a stronger immune system, better sleep, pain relief, reduced blood pressure, and slower aging.

● Greater Patience & Compassion – We develop a greater appreciation for life & connectedness to the world which makes us become kinder to ourselves and others.

● Greater Focus & Productivity – We develop greater self-control, reducing impulsive thoughts and improving concentration, memory, productivity, and creativity.

● Greater Overall Happiness – The brain region responsible for positive thoughts grows, improving optimism, self-esteem, confidence, and motivation.

● Encourages a Healthy Lifestyle – It creates a positive ripple effect that touches all areas of our lives: willpower, habits, addictions, learning, relationships, work...

Meditation is simple. We simply need to sit down, get comfortable, and focus on our breath. When we catch ourselves having other thoughts (which we will), we just let them drift away and refocus on our breath. Even if our mind is constantly wandering and we have to keep refocusing, the meditation will still be effective. We're training our thoughts and this can be especially difficult when we have a lot on our mind such as upcoming deadlines or other stressful events. In these trying times, we stand to gain the most from our meditation practice. Find the time to do at least ten minutes per day.

### ACTIONABLES

● Take the time to meditate for at least ten minutes every day.

## 16 — Set Better Expectations

"Engineering Happiness" by Manel Baucells and Rakesh Sarin

Does happiness equal reality minus expectations? We're happy when an event turns out as well as or better than we expected and disappointed when we expected more than what we got. For example, bronze medalists may be happier than silver medalists because silver medalists believe they could have won gold while bronze medalists are happy to make it onto the podium. Their happiness depends more on what they expected than what they got. This doesn't mean that we should always keep our expectations low, but it's important to be aware of the effect that setting unrealistic expectations and not achieving them will have on our happiness.

In addition, when we hit or exceed our expectations, we're happy for a period, but then it becomes our reality and we get used to it, the happy feeling subsides, and we set even higher expectations. This is called shifting expectations. To maximize our overall happiness, we can use the crescendo strategy of starting with low expectations and gradually increasing them over time. In this strategy, we want the gap between our reality and our expectations to remain consistent, with our reality being only slightly better than what we expected. For example, instead of selling our bicycle and buying a Ferrari, we would achieve greater happiness by slowly improving our mode of transportation over time. Similarly, employees are happier by receiving small, frequent promotions rather than fewer big ones spread out over longer periods of time.

When dealing with other people, it's important to clearly communicate what they can expect from us and what we expect from them. Improperly set expectations can destroy relationships. When nothing has been promised or is expected, everything is well. However, when we're promised or expect something and don't get it, our happiness pays the price and we tend to resent the person who set the expectation no matter how well-meaning it was.

### ACTIONABLES

● Refrain from setting unachievable expectations as your happiness will suffer.

● Try to clearly set expectations with others. Under-promise and over-deliver.

## 17 — Understand Your Brain Chemicals

"Habits of a Happy Brain" by Loretta Graziano Breuning

Why do we sometimes have to dig deep to find the motivation to complete simple tasks? Our brain has been designed to release chemicals to influence us to pursue food, sex, and relationships and avoid dangers to boost our chances of survival.

Brain "Happy Chemicals":

● **Dopamine** – Released to motivate us toward a goal. This is why we feel good when we complete a step toward a goal but then the feeling wears off and we have to complete another step to enjoy more.

● **Endorphin** – Released when we experience physical pain, laugh, or exercise. This is why we may overlook the seriousness of an injury until the endorphins wear off.

● **Oxytocin** – Released when we create good social relationships. This is why spending time with friends and family makes us happier.

● **Serotonin** – Released when we demonstrate superiority over others. This is why we feel good when we win a competition or get a promotion.

Brain "Unhappy Chemical":

● **Cortisol** – Released when our survival is threatened causing anger or stress. This is why it's difficult to be in a good mood when we're hungry or under pressure.

Habituation occurs when an enjoyable activity becomes routine and no longer triggers the release of "happy chemicals." A repeated enjoyable experience often never feels as good as the first time, but we often keep the same high expectations and become disappointed. If we listen to new music, we may not like it much at first, grow to love it over time, and like it less with repeated listening. Eventually everything loses some of its flavor, but by realizing this we can set better expectations to minimize our disappointment.

### ACTIONABLES

● Try to maintain a happy brain state by engaging in positive activities.

# PART 3:  
Our Emotions

## 18 — Feed Positive Emotions

"Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life" by Brian Tracy

Are our negative emotions like warning bells for us to take action to improve our situation? For the most part, negative emotions simply undermine our happiness without any real benefits. Unfortunately, it isn't possible to eliminate our negative emotions altogether and trying to suppress them tends to create more harm than good. In both cases, we're giving attention to our negative emotions, which may only make matters worse because the emotions we concentrate on grow stronger. Therefore, a better approach is to accept the presence of fear, anger, jealousy, and guilt and allow ourselves to feel them so that they can pass on their own without us focusing on or trying to justify them. This is how we can take away their power.

Furthermore, our stronger emotions do a good job of cancelling out our weaker ones. For example, we can't be happy and angry at the same time, as shown by an older brother who tries to make his younger brother laugh to get him to stop crying. Therefore, instead of trying not to be angry, we could try to be happy by creating positive thoughts and experiences for ourselves. By actively feeding the emotions we want to have, we can indirectly reduce the presence of the ones we want to eliminate.

While we're typically well aware of the presence of our positive and negative emotions, we often overlook their influence on our decisions. We would like to believe that we make our decisions logically, but, in reality, they're almost always emotionally biased. We subconsciously make most of our decisions with our emotions and then try to rationalize the decisions afterwards. However, we typically make better decisions when we're able to keep our emotions out of them. For example, our emotions may convince us to buy a high-end sports car despite our logic telling us to buy something more practical, fuel-efficient, and cost-effective. We can fight our emotional bias by analyzing our decisions and asking ourselves if it's an emotional or logical decision.

### ACTIONABLES

● Resist giving attention to your negative emotions and feed your positive ones.

## 19 — Maintain a High Positivity Ratio

"Positivity" by Barbara Fredrickson

Do your negative emotions bring you down more than your positive emotions lift you up? We have a natural tendency to overlook the positive events in our lives and highlight the negative ones. When we have a negative emotion, we may find that creating a single positive emotion isn't enough to counteract it and instead we need to shower ourselves in positive emotions before the negative one weakens or goes away. Our negative emotions are typically more intense because they're more crucial to our survival; avoiding dangers is more important than appreciating pleasures. Since our positive emotions aren't as powerful as our negative ones, it's important for us to create more positive emotions to be happier overall.

It's easy to get caught up in the losing battle of trying to get rid of all of our negative emotions. While it isn't possible to feel good ALL of the time, we can strive to feel good MOST of the time. Instead of trying to get rid of our negative emotions, we can create more positive emotions to counteract and make us more resilient to the negative ones. One study found that the happiest people have positive-to-negative emotion (positivity) ratios greater than 3-to-1 and depressed people have positivity ratios less than 1-to-1. Another study, found that marriages with positivity ratios of at least 5-to-1 are likely to withstand the test of time. We can create more positive emotions by analyzing our behaviors throughout the day, determining which ones make us feel good, and then recreating these behaviors. Every person is different so it's important to find the techniques that work best for us.

### ACTIONABLES

● Try to maintain a positivity ratio greater than 3-to-1.

● Observe yourself in order to determine the activities and events that make you feel good so that you can recreate these behaviors.

## 20 — Confront Fear

"The Antidote" by Oliver Burkeman

Are you in control of your fears or are they in control of you? We often overlook the significant degree of influence that our fears have on us. Their power is capable of drastically changing the course of our entire lives. We may find that simply by fearing that something will happen it actually increases its likelihood of occurring. For example, if we fear making a fool of ourselves when giving a speech, we're more likely to do just that because of our thought alone. This is why the fear of failure can be seen as the number one reason for failure. Similarly, the fear of criticism often causes us to lose our spontaneity and uniqueness and pushes us to seek security rather than success. Fortunately, we have more control over our fears and anxieties than we think.

The best way for us to manage our fears is by pursuing them directly and reminding ourselves that they're not nearly as terrible as they appear. When we avoid them, we make them stronger over time, but when we confront them head on, we take away their power. To alleviate our fears, we must develop a strong desire to conquer them by maintaining a willingness to do whatever it takes and remain positive that we can handle the worst-case scenario. For example, if we fear failure, it's important to accept the possibility of failure and face it directly. By refusing to step out of our comfort zone and do things that require us to push ourselves, we'll block ourselves from many positive experiences and alternate life paths. Making a consistent effort to tackle our fears is sure to increase our self-confidence and reduce our fears over time. Only once a fear is conquered do we realize that it wasn't nearly as bad as we had imagined.

### ACTIONABLES

● Recognize your fears and face them head on to take away their power.

● Remind yourself that you can handle the worst-case scenario whatever it may be.

## 21 — Believe Stress is Good for You

"The Upside of Stress" by Kelly McGonigal‎

Which is more harmful: your stress or your general view of stress? Stress is a part of life, but it doesn't have to be a bad thing. Believing stress is harmful significantly increases its harm. By viewing stress as helpful and as an indicator to take action, we're more likely to handle it better and even derive benefits from it. One study showed that people who have high stress but don't believe it to be harmful have a lower risk of illness and death than those who do. In addition, our attitude toward stress shapes our choices and affects our outcomes. By trying to avoid stressful situations, we run the risk of missing out on some great opportunities. It's important to realize that some of the most meaningful activities that we can engage in create high levels of stress.

When we experience stress, reactions like anger and anxiety don't help our situation. A better strategy to handle stress is to try to maintain a positive mindset. By choosing to think positively, we reduce the impact of stress and it trains our brains to better cope with future stress as well. If we believe something will turn out well, it has a better chance of doing so. When we feel stressed, we can remind ourselves that we'll get through it and grow stronger because of it. By simply believing there are benefits to going through stressful situations, we reap those benefits. We can make an effort to alter our negative view of stress by focusing on its upside, and thereby see its positive impact.

### ACTIONABLES

● Remember that stress is a good thing, part of life, and growth opportunity.

● Accept things that are out of your control and focus on what you can change.

## 22 — Grow Through Adversity

"The Happiness Hypothesis" by Jonathan Haidt

Is some adversity essential for our personal growth? Adversity is a condition of difficulty or misfortune in our lives, but it usually isn't all bad. It often leads to strength and personal development. Instead of trying to avoid all adversity, we can accept it as an important part of life and remind ourselves that we'll be a better person by going through it. We do this by taking more chances, suffering more defeats, and resisting the temptation to shelter loved ones from all adversity. For example, if our child's pet dies, we could buy another one that looks the same or pretend that it ran away, but in the long run we aren't doing our child any favors. As much as we hate to see our children in pain, it would be better to be honest and allow them to go through the adversity, learn how to deal with it, and grow stronger through the experience.

We may not realize it, but we generally have good resilience to trauma. It typically only takes three to six months following a traumatic experience to return to our previous level of happiness. These experiences can also filter out fake friends and encourage us to revisit our life priorities and philosophies. The best way to overcome adversity is by concentrating on the things that we can control and positively influence rather than the ones we can't. Our mind can be prepared to better handle adversity by practicing meditation. When adversity strikes, our meditation practice will help us guide our thoughts in a positive direction so that we can find meaning and grow through the experience. We can also build a social support network of trusted friends who are good listeners in order to help us make sense of adversity and rise above it.

### ACTIONABLES

● Remember that adversity is an important part of your personal development.

● When adversity strikes, ask yourself what you can do to help your situation and what you might gain from going through the experience.

● Help your children, but don't shelter them from ALL adversity.

● Meditate every day to prepare your mind to better deal with adversity.

## 23 — Accept Emotional Pain

"The Antidote" by Oliver Burkeman

Can you eliminate all pain, death, and hardship from your life? We can achieve greater comfort and relief by being more accepting of the painful events of our lives. Unfortunately, we can't avoid all pain, death, and hardship, as much as we would like to. By holding the unrealistic expectation that we can avoid all negative events, we set ourselves up to suffer even more when we don't succeed. Of course, we should try to avoid negative events, but the trick is to accept the inevitable occurrence of these events in our lives. Our lives won't always go as we expect or want them to. By accepting negative events, we allow the emotions tied to those events to diminish over time and become more appreciative of the positive moments in our lives. For example, The Day of the Dead is a joyful Mexican celebration to pay tribute to loved ones who have passed away and acts as a reminder to value each day.

Paradoxically, thinking about negative things, like our ultimate death, inevitable hardship, and the impossibility of security, can make us feel happier by motivating us to appreciate the little things in our present moment. When we're unsatisfied with our lives and don't believe that we can change them, it turns into a negative feeling. Emotional pain isn't completely avoidable, but most of it tends to be self-created. We can work to reduce these non-physical forms of pain by accepting them for what they are instead of trying to ignore or suppress them. We can eliminate some of our pain by telling ourselves that it's just an emotion and it can be changed by our thoughts. Our emotions don't define who we are. We aren't depressed people just because we're unhappy sometimes. No matter how bad our situation is, we can adapt to it. As humans, we have an outstanding ability to adapt to and endure very difficult circumstances and continue moving forward. We're much stronger than we give ourselves credit for.

### ACTIONABLES

● Accept that emotional pain is a part of life that we can't avoid completely.

## 24 — Take Responsibility & Forgive

"Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life" by Brian Tracy

Does letting off steam make us calmer or angrier? The best way to eliminate anger is to take responsibility for our actions and forgive others for theirs. It's more beneficial for our happiness to try to view other people's actions against us from their perspective, give them the benefit of the doubt, and refrain from criticism. Instead of dwelling in anger, doing nothing, and repeating the same problematic behavior, we can tell ourselves that we're responsible for our actions and everything that happens to us. Once we take responsibility for our problems, we can start looking for ways to rectify them and hopefully prevent similar problems in the future.

If we forgive everyone without exception, we help to free ourselves from the negative emotions created by their actions. By not forgiving someone, we allow them to have control over our emotions. This doesn't mean that we're condoning the poor behavior of others; we're forgiving them for our own well-being. We'll be happier by not having negative thoughts toward anyone. For example, even if we have a poor relationship with our parents, we can forgive them and thank them for giving us life. By doing so, we can allow ourselves to be free of blame and anger. Refusal to forgive even one person can seriously affect our mental state.

It's important to break the cycle of anger whenever possible. When someone is angry at us, it's easy to reciprocate that feeling or to pass it on to someone else. We can unknowingly take our anger out on our loved ones even if they have nothing to do with the source of the anger. When we exhibit anger toward another, we tend to continue to hold the anger afterwards instead of being relieved of it. We end up holding the anger within ourselves as well as instilling it in the other person. Essentially, we're creating more anger in the world each time we act with anger toward someone. Instead, try to break the cycle and always respond with love and compassion.

### ACTIONABLES

● Forgive everyone you feel anger toward without exception.

● Make an effort to break the cycle of anger by responding with love.

# PART 4:  
Our Relationships

## 25 — Build Strong Relationships

"Stumbling on Happiness" by Daniel Gilbert

How strong are your relationships with your friends, family, and co-workers? Studies have shown that good relationships have a bigger correlation to our happiness than any other factor. We're a highly social species and we need others to complete us. Our poor relationships can cause us stress even when we don't see the person. Just thinking about a bad relationship makes us feel unhappy. We feel greater joy and laugh out loud in the company of others rather than when we're alone. Even introverts need strong social relationships in their lives to be at their happiest. Strong relationships and social support are essential to our happiness and reduce our likelihood of depression. Studies have found that people are more likely to be depressed if they live alone.

Although we tend to feel that we're in some way special and that everyone else is completely different from us, other people are more similar to us than we realize. This thought may lead us to believe that we can't benefit from the help or advice of others. However, when we ask others about a problematic situation we're facing, we often find that they have been through a similar experience. Happiness is also contagious; the happier we are, the happier others around us will be. One of the best ways for us to feel happy is by making others happy. We can do this by creating gestures of appreciation without any expectation of praise or reciprocity. Simply placing more attention on building and maintaining strong relationships will pay happiness dividends.

### ACTIONABLES

● Push yourself to be social and make time for friends and family.

● Build trust and closer relationships by asking others for advice.

● Accept people as they are. They're far more likely to become even more of what they already are than to change to what you want them to be.

● Use praise, appreciation, and reciprocity to create better relationships.

## 26 — Provide Children with Love & Security

"The Happiness Hypothesis" by Jonathan Haidt

How much support do children need? Love and a strong sense of security are crucial to a child's development. These basic needs allow children to achieve their intellectual, social, and physical potential. Infants and young children also need to feel comfort through contact. In one study, scientists raised baby monkeys without their parents and it resulted in abnormal development of their social and problem-solving skills. Children feel secure in a familiar environment with one of their parents nearby and remain comfortable even if a stranger appears. However, if we remove their parents or put them in an unfamiliar environment with their parents and a stranger, they become uneasy and their stress level increases. Children will stop playing and seek contact with their parents when they return or when in an unfamiliar environment with a stranger. Studies have found that properly nurtured children grow up to have longer relationships on average.

It's very important to support children, but it's possible to go too far when it comes to praising them. One study found that trying to boost a child's self-esteem for no good reason and irrespective of their behavior may in fact bring negative effects, including narcissism and a lower school performance. It's important to give children praise to reward their positive efforts, but it's best to restrain ourselves from trying to boost their self-esteem artificially. We can always find appropriate reasons for praise such as good behavior or an improvement in grades. Rather than praising children when it's unwarranted, it's more important to set clear goals, enforce rules, reprimand poor behavior, and reward improvement and hard work. This will help to instill the best principles in children and prepare them for the world.

### ACTIONABLES

● Give children a safe and loving environment so that they can develop properly.

● Find good reasons to praise children rather than artificial ego boosting.

● Be an authority figure, enforce rules, and be consistent when dealing with children's poor behavior.

## 27 — Seek Companionate Love

"The Happiness Hypothesis" by Jonathan Haidt

Are you still searching for your true love or "soul mate"? Poetry and movies often depict the myth of true love: two people fall in love and their passion remains intense and everlasting. While we may not realize it, many of us subconsciously aspire to true love. If we follow this impossible ideal, when our strong feelings of love cease, we may then believe that the person isn't right for us and subsequently terminate the relationship. When we're high on love, we can lose the ability to think rationally. Passionate love is great, but it isn't enough to build a long-lasting relationship. It's like a drug; its effects will wear off eventually. When they do, it's important to realize that it doesn't necessarily mark the end of the relationship.

The most important type of love is companionate love. This is a long-lasting, healthy love that develops over time. Passionate love can, but doesn't necessarily, lead to companionate love. Companionate love comes from finding a partner whose company we enjoy and who shares our values. A lasting relationship is based on respect and appreciation. It doesn't adhere to impossible expectations such as maintaining the same high level of passionate chemistry or not having to work at the relationship. All relationships are tested from time to time. The key is to properly set our expectations for romantic love – what type are we seeking and are we willing to work at it?

### ACTIONABLES

● Remind yourself that true love depicted in movies is an impossible ideal.

● Passionate love is great, seek it, but never be fooled into thinking it's sufficient; companionate love is essential.

● Be willing to put in the effort to build and maintain your romantic relationships.

## 28 — Avoid Criticism & Arguments

"How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie

Does criticism ever encourage people to change their behavior? Criticism may be an outlet for our anger, but it's more likely to harm the relationship than provide any real benefits. It takes character to understand and forgive others for their mistakes and shortcomings. It's important to make an effort to view the situation from the other person's point of view. Benjamin Franklin said the secret of his success was to "speak ill of no man." It's better to be known as someone who frequently shows honest and sincere appreciation than someone who is quick to criticize. When we treat people well they will want to reciprocate it and enjoy working with us. We can praise someone for even the slightest improvement. A better approach than criticizing is to bring someone's attention to their mistakes indirectly. By asking the right questions, we can lead someone to a good solution without having to force it on them. If we allow them to come to the conclusion themselves, it will truly resonate with them.

As with criticism, no one really wins an argument and it would be best to try to avoid them altogether. Arguments often create the adverse effect of what we want. Rather than improving the situation, they tend to make each person's stance stronger and create resentment. A better approach to our disagreements is by trying to remove emotions and take the other person's self-esteem into consideration. When we tell someone they're wrong, what we're really saying is, "I'm smarter than you." It's more constructive to avoid saying things in absolute terms like, "It's clear that..." or "Obviously, the case is..." Instead, we can say, "I thought differently, but I might be wrong. Let's have a look at the facts again together." Make an effort to approach the situation as if everyone is on the same side, seeking the best solution.

### ACTIONABLES

● Give frequent and sincere appreciation and avoid unconstructive criticism.

● Ask questions to help lead people to your conclusion without forcing it on them.

● Avoid arguments and respect others even if you don't agree with their opinions.

● Try to remain open-minded and willing to change your stance.

## 29 — Take Responsibility For Your Life

"How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie

Do we have an illusion of objectivity? We can be quick to judge others for their behavior but slow to judge ourselves. We take credit for our good characteristics but blame our bad ones on the outside world. For example, happy and confident people may believe that they earned their happiness and confidence while unhappy people believe the world made them that way. When we're motivated to reach a particular conclusion, we can be poor reasoners, and search for supporting evidence only. We may find a reason that works and then stop thinking about it. Even the victim of an injustice may share at least part of the blame, but their conscience tries to push all blame onto others instead of analyzing how their own actions could have been better.

Before looking for someone to blame, we can ask ourselves if we could be at least partially responsible. We aren't perfect; we make mistakes just like everyone else. It isn't always easy, but people respect those who take responsibility for their actions. We're acting in our best interest by taking responsibility for our lives. When we take responsibility, we're more likely to learn from our experiences and avoid repeating the same mistakes in the future. For example, if we get a low test score, instead of searching for a reason why the test may be flawed, we can accept the possibility that we didn't prepare properly and change our efforts so that we're better prepared next time. By taking responsibility for our outcomes, we put ourselves in control. We can either be the authors of our lives or the victims of them.

### ACTIONABLES

● Before passing on blame, ask yourself if you could be at least partially responsible and, if so, have the courage to take responsibility and learn from it.

● Take responsibility for everything that happens to you by not beating yourself up, but by learning from it.

## 30 — Be Compassionate

"The Art of Happiness" by The Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler

Has the world made you tough and individualistic to the point that you forget to be compassionate to others? When we show someone compassion, they will likely return the feeling and everyone will become happier and better connected. Compassion is a state of mind that's non-violent, non-harmful, and non-aggressive. It's an openness to give and receive affection without rejection, judgment, fear, anger, or doubt. It's powerful to show compassion to all people, not just our friends. If something makes us very aggressive and angry then it has beaten us. We can try to avoid impulsive actions by questioning and evaluating our thoughts and choosing to respond with patience and compassion. Compassion can help us to avoid and alleviate suffering and create healthy and stable relationships.

We can become more compassionate toward others by considering their fundamental motivations. Since everyone, even our enemies, ultimately wants to be happy, we can use this as a starting point to better understand their actions. The more similarities that we're able to see between ourselves and others, the easier it is for us to relate to them and treat them with compassion. Therefore, it's better to emphasize our similarities rather than our differences and relate to the struggles that we're all facing. We have all experienced difficult situations. Being aware of this makes it easier for us to relate, give support, and open up to others.

### ACTIONABLES

● Remember that everyone ultimately wants the same thing: to be happy.

● Instead of highlighting the differences between yourself and others, highlight the similarities in order to better relate to their situation.

● Ask yourself: If you knew with certainty that being born as someone else, with their personality, experiences, and upbringing, you would be just as they are and act just as they do, would you treat people differently and react differently when someone offends you?

## 31 — Smile

"How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie

Do you underestimate the power of your smile? Our body language is more important than our words. One study found that only about 7% of communication involves the actual words that we speak while 55% comes from our body language and 38% is in the tone of our voice. Our facial expression shows others what we think of them more than our words do. We can read the six basic emotions on someone's face: joy, sadness, fear, anger, disgust, and surprise. We could become happier simply by developing the habit of smiling first and smiling at every person we meet. When we show that we're happy to see people, they'll be happy to see us. We can't expect someone to be happy to see us if we don't show that we're happy to see them. It may be difficult and feel awkward initially, but it becomes more natural over time. Smiling is one of the simplest personal improvements we can make and also one of the best.

When we smile, it's important to show our teeth; a grin is good but not as effective. We benefit from genuinely smiling and smiling even when we communicate by phone. People can feel our smile through our voice. Consciously smiling creates positive emotions within ourselves as well as those we smile at, which leads to more involuntary smiling and even more positive emotions. Even when we're in a bad mood, we can trick ourselves into a better mood by smiling. No matter what state we're in, it improves by smiling. It even helps to smile at ourselves in the mirror every morning and while we meditate. Smiling is the cheapest way to create and spread happiness. This is because smiles are contagious and they can create a happiness ripple effect. Our world is a reflection of ourselves; when we smile at it, it will smile back.

### ACTIONABLES

● Remind yourself of the power of smiling and smile more.

● Develop the habit of smiling first whenever you meet someone. Consciously and sincerely smile and greet every person you encounter. It will become more natural over time.

# PART 5:  
Our Health

## 32 — Become Healthier Using Optimism

"Happiness" by Richard Layard

Does a healthy mind lead to a healthy body? By trying to be happier through an optimistic attitude we set ourselves up for better health. This is partially because optimists tend to act differently. Optimists may believe that their actions matter, while pessimists believe that they're helpless to change their situation. This difference in mindset leads optimists to be more likely to use social support, take action, and choose healthier lifestyles. Optimists tend to take action against stress by learning better ways of handling it and minimizing repeated stressors. This results in slower aging, stronger bones, better skin, reduced chronic pain, and improved sleep and concentration. Less stress also leads to a stronger immune system with lower instances of disease and other health problems. In general, optimists don't get sick as often as pessimists and when they do they have fewer symptoms and recover faster.

Being optimistic may be the single greatest thing that we can do to improve our current health and prevent future illness. It has been found to be even more effective than medication in many cases. The placebo effect occurs when a patient is unknowingly given a placebo (a sugar pill or harmless treatment) instead of real medication and told that it will improve their condition. This creates the psychological benefit of making the patient feel optimistic about recovery and can create the same positive results as actual medication. While optimism won't resolve all health concerns, it can greatly reduce the effects and aid recovery in conjunction with medicine or other treatments. By choosing to be happier through an optimistic attitude, we may proactively set ourselves up for a longer and healthier life.

### ACTIONABLES

● Remind yourself that being happy and optimistic will make you healthier.

● Be an optimist; believe that you will come out on top, you have control over your life, and you can always do something to help your situation.

## 33 — Exercise

"Spark" by John J. Ratey and Eric Hagerman

Is exercise only good for our physical health and appearance? Exercise has many positive effects beyond our physical body. Studies have shown that physically active children perform better academically through enhanced learning, memory, and concentration. Regular exercise has also been found to boost our confidence, making us feel better about ourselves. Additionally, it's known to effectively reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. By reducing stress and anxiety, we can slow down the aging process and make it easier for us to fight our unhealthy addictions and habits.

We're better at refraining from our bad behaviors and we make better decisions, in general, following exercise. When people start exercising regularly, they tend to consume less alcohol, smoke less, eat healthier, budget their money better, and not get angry or irritated as easily. Infants of exercising mothers were also found to be healthier on average. While exercise takes energy and willpower to perform, rather than feeling drained afterwards, we often feel a boost of energy and become more likely to choose other positive behaviors. The following is a simple but effective weekly exercise schedule:

● **Aerobic** – Four days for 30 minutes. Examples: walking, jogging, or biking.

● **Strength** – Two days for 30 minutes. Examples: weight or resistance exercises.

● **Balance and Flexibility** – One day for 30 minutes. Examples: tai chi or yoga.

● **Mental** – Meditate for 10-30 minutes every day.

### ACTIONABLES

● Exercise and meditate in the morning to kick-start your brain's functionality.

● Start with a modest exercise schedule of 10-30 minutes per day and build the habit.

● Use a pedometer to count your steps and do at least 10,000 steps every day.

## 34 — Eat Well

"The Happiness Diet" by Tyler Graham and Drew Ramsey

Are we overfed and undernourished? Beyond making us fat and increasing our risk of heart disease and diabetes, the typical American diet (high in processed foods) has been linked to increased levels of depression, mood swings, anxiety, dementia, and other mental and emotional problems. Our brains require certain nutrients to function properly. If they are lacking in our diet, it can cause the parts of our brains responsible for mood regulation to shrink. To maximize our brains' health:

● **Avoid Processed (Packaged) Foods** – Processed foods, which are made of solid fats and/or added sugar, contain many empty calories and have limited nutritional value. These foods are generally packaged in boxes, cans, or bags with preservatives, artificial flavors, and other chemical additives. In addition, they often have refined carbohydrates, unhealthy vegetable oils, and trans fats. This is why counting calories for weight loss doesn't necessarily result in improved health. The quality (nutritional value) of our food is much more important than the quantity (number of calories).

● **Buy Unprocessed (Whole) Foods** – Unprocessed foods are free of additives, preservatives, and artificial substances. Examples of unprocessed foods are vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds, whole grains, seafood, fish, chicken, and beef. While processed foods are often high in sugar causing our blood sugar and energy to spike and crash, unprocessed foods help us to think more clearly and provide a more consistent mood and energy level.

● **Eat Healthy Fats** – Some fats such as omega–3 fats found in fish, nuts, and seeds are an important part of a healthy diet. These fats can help prevent and reduce symptoms of depression, ADHD, bipolar disorder, memory loss, and dementia and reduce the risk of heart disease, stroke, and cancer.

### ACTIONABLES

● Base your diet on unprocessed foods by finding healthy substitutes for processed foods.

## 35 — Make Time for Rest & Play

"The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brené Brown

Do you treat yourself as well as you treat other people? It's easy to fill our schedules with work activities without sparing any time for purely enjoyable ones, or rest. We may get caught up in trying to please everyone around us and forget about the person in the mirror. We tend to tie our self-worth to productivity and view play and rest as purposeless activities reserved for people with a poor work ethic and low willpower. However, play and rest are important to our health and can actually assist us in becoming more productive during our working hours and happier overall. We could greatly improve our lives by making more time for play, rest, authenticity, love, joy, gratitude, and creativity and cutting out perfection, exhaustion, self-sufficiency, being cool, fitting in, judgment, shame, and entitlement.

By engaging in physical activities, fun events, and getting enough sleep every day, we can greatly improve our energy level, mood, memory, immune system, and metabolism. When our mind is begging us to take a break, it's important for us to listen. When we can't focus on our work, we can take as little as ten minutes to go outside for a walk, stretch, meditate, or simply close our eyes and relax. These simple breaks can do wonders for our body and mind. Going to the gym for 30 minutes before work is a great way to kick-off each day and the positive effects will flow into the rest of our daily activities. Other physical activities we have enjoyed for our whole lives and fun events such as playing with our children or going to the movies are great choices to enhance our lives by treating ourselves well. We can make time for play and rest every day and we can feel good about it.

### ACTIONABLES

● Make a commitment to work no later than a certain time every day and schedule play and rest into your day.

## 36 — Don't Aim for Perfection

"The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brené Brown

Perfectionism seems like a good quality, but is it worth pursuing? It's important to strive to be our best and always improve while resisting the desire for perfection. Perfectionism typically brings us more harm than good. Perfectionists fear shame so they try to live, look, and act perfectly in all situations. This leads them to constantly seek approval and acceptance from others. They believe that they should be accomplishing something at all times and therefore work long hours which can lead to exhaustion and unhappiness. Perfectionists blame themselves when they don't reach their goals and also tend to set high expectations for their romantic partners. Rather than giving us greater life contentment, these impossible expectations are addictive and self-destructive.

Constantly striving for perfection counteracts our self-acceptance by not allowing us to accept our imperfections. We may see all of our imperfections easily, but not notice all of the imperfections of others. We mustn't be deceived; we all have imperfections. Some people are just better at hiding them. In order to be happy with ourselves in the present, we can accept that we all have imperfections that make us more unique rather than less valuable. Additionally, we can be mindful of the fact that it isn't necessary to have a perfect external world in order to maintain peace, serenity, and happiness on the inside. Always striving for improvement is an excellent attitude when combined with the understanding that we'll never reach perfection, and that's completely okay.

### ACTIONABLES

● Remind yourself that striving for perfection can be more harmful than helpful.

● Ask yourself if it would be better for you to get the project done as opposed to trying to make it perfect.

● Aim to do your best with continual improvement, not perfection.

## 37 — Be an Individual

"The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brené Brown

Are you who you want to be or who others want you to be? We may not enjoy our lives as much as we could because we're preoccupied with how we're perceived. Consumerism, largely through the use of television and advertisements, has influenced us from a young age to look and act in certain ways, even if they don't align with who we are or want to be. Playing this role can lead us to become anxious and miserable. Instead of living according to other people's rules and expectations, we have the choice to be our authentic selves. Being true to ourselves isn't easy; it takes courage and self-confidence. We have to fight the pressure to conform, embrace our vulnerability, and find the courage to forego the approval of others; in other words, we have to allow ourselves to dance to the beat of a different drum.

Everyone struggles with their individuality and we often conform in an effort to achieve social success. What we may not realize is that this is often an exchange of our real happiness for the appearance of happiness. When we measure ourselves against other people, we overlook our individuality. Competitions, for example, compare people according to very narrow criteria and they shouldn't affect how we perceive ourselves or our personal value. We're all different; we're stronger in some areas and weaker in others. Everyone has creativity and a sense of individuality. It's just a matter of whether we decide to make use of them or not.

### ACTIONABLES

● Ask yourself if you're the person you want to be or if you're consumed by trying to please others. Have the courage to be your own person.

● Accept the possibility of negative feedback, if you choose to express yourself publicly, and do it anyway.

## 38 — Be Grateful

"The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brené Brown

Are you happy with what you have, or unhappy with what you lack? It's easier for our attention to fall on all of the things that we don't have and overlook how lucky we are. When we get what we want, we quickly take it for granted and look for something more. By being aware of this, we can change our perspective and become more grateful and appreciative for all of the things that we do have. We could easily have less, but we may not realize what we have until we lose it or are at risk of losing it. Comparatively, we could greatly increase our happiness by reminding ourselves to be grateful for the ordinary moments in our lives and appreciate all of the little things. It's these little things that bring us the greatest satisfaction.

When something is readily available to us we tend to perceive it as having less value and thereby appreciate it less. When something is scarce, we're drawn to it even if it provides little to no benefit to us. We value scarcity over abundance, but if we look at what we currently possess, we're likely to find that we already have everything that we need to be happy. In realizing this, we can help to alleviate the feeling that we need something more and allow ourselves to be content with what we have. It's beneficial to consistently remind ourselves to be thankful for the positives in our lives, such as our relationships, health, opportunities, and freedom. By keeping these things in our forefront, we can work toward ending the cycle of always wanting more and finally feel the relief of contentment.

### ACTIONABLES

● Take five minutes to write down some of the things you are grateful for.

● Be more present and find more enjoyment in the simple pleasures. For example, when you eat or drink, do it slower and notice and appreciate the flavor.

● Spend more time with people you care about and doing the things you love.

## 39 — Write Your Thoughts

"The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron

Is journaling only beneficial for eight-year-olds? Writing on a regular basis can greatly improve our mental health and stimulate:

● Clarity & Organization – It's difficult to do all of our work in our head. Putting our thoughts and ideas on paper allows us to view and process them more effectively. It also provides a much needed "brain dump" and we often feel a sense of relief once we have completed the task. It's as though we no longer need to hold those thoughts in our head and this allows us to focus on the present moment.

● Creativity – It's surprising what we can create when we start writing. It brings out our creativity by providing an avenue to express ideas and dive into them.

● Personal Growth & Development – It helps us to reflect and determine if we're living according to our values. We can dissect all areas of our lives, ask ourselves tough questions, and dig deep for answers.

● Problem Solving & Emotion Management – When we feel stuck in life or have a problem, we can write about it. Writing allows us to break down our problems and emotions so that we can determine our best course of action. By regularly analyzing our thoughts, we may gain greater insight into our actions and emotions in order to generate the energy needed for change.

Free-form writing helps us to unclog our mental and emotional channels and makes us happier, more productive, and more creative in our day. It's better to write by hand so that we can circle words, doodle, and be more expressive. We can simply write down everything that comes to our mind, even if it seems nonsensical or repetitive. The quality isn't important. We can keep it private to allow ourselves to be completely open and not hold anything back. We can ensure that no one reads it, by burning the paper afterwards. It isn't necessary to save the pages for future re-reading.

### ACTIONABLES

● Regularly write your thoughts to increase self-esteem, reduce stress, and stimulate clarity, creativity, personal growth, problem solving, and emotion management.

# PART 6:  
Our Success

## 40 — Don't Hinge Your Happiness On Success

"The Happiness Advantage" by Shawn Achor

Does your happiness hinge on your success? One common misconception is that successful people are happy because they're successful. However, studies have found that the correlation is more likely to be the other way around. Happiness isn't the result of success, but it results in success. The happier we are, the greater our chances of success. Happy people are generally successful because of their positive attitude. When we're in a good mood, we tend to perform better as well as have a positive influence on the people around us. Therefore, it's beneficial for us to try to maintain a positive attitude and, if we don't feel happy, fake it until we make it. By telling ourselves that we're happy even when we're feeling low, we can convince our brain into making us feel happier.

Learned helplessness is the belief that we can't change our situation and it prevents us from pursuing difficult opportunities. Trying to avoid failure will only make us unhappy when failure arises. Instead, we're better off accepting the possibility of failure and view it as a positive step toward success. Our success often lies on the other side of failure, and therefore we must be willing to persist through it until we reach our goals. Unfortunately, just hoping for good things to happen isn't enough. Luck is a factor of probabilities; the more things we try, the more likely we are to triumph. We can always learn from our mistakes. A positive attitude, hard work, patience, and persistence will bring us the success we want.

### ACTIONABLES

● Remind yourself that happiness leads to success, not the other way around.

● Learn to be happy in the present moment to increase your chances of success.

## 41 — Seek Mastery

"Talent Is Overrated" by Geoff Colvin

Are some people just born great? Contrary to popular belief, people aren't born with natural talent. Aside from a physical attribute that may give an athlete an advantage over another, anyone can master any field through extensive practice. Many of us would rather believe that someone is naturally talented than to admit that we could achieve similar results if we were willing to put in the time and effort. It's important to abandon the notion of natural talent and realize that there aren't shortcuts to world-class performance. For example, many believe Tiger Woods and Mozart were born with the natural ability to excel in their fields, but the truth is their fathers mentored them from birth. By choosing a growth mindset, and the understanding that we can accomplish anything with persistence and effort, we become the master of our destiny rather than the victim of our circumstances. Great innovators may spend most of their lives intensively studying and mastering a field before making any breakthroughs, as opposed to having a sudden stroke of genius. The "Aha" moments we read about in history are often greatly exaggerated.

Many people don't improve at their work after many years of experience and some actually get worse. We may tell ourselves that we already know enough and stop pushing ourselves toward mastery. For example, one study showed that experienced doctors often score lower on tests of medical knowledge than doctors with less experience. The link between intelligence and performance is also weak. People with the highest IQs often don't earn the most money or produce the best results. Many chess grandmasters, for example, were found to have below-average IQ levels. Performance is better linked to the quality and quantity of practice. Therefore, self-discipline may play a much bigger role in determining our results than IQ.

### ACTIONABLES

● Choose a growth mindset; you can always improve through hard work.

● Remind yourself that mastery requires grit and serious effort over time.

## 42 — Be Persistent

"The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin

Do we have to wait until we feel motivated to do something? Even if we're in a bad mood or faced with a seemingly impossible task, we can try to work through it. Small steps in moments of unhappiness or frustration go a long way. When we feel unhappy, we can tackle some simple tasks on our to-do list or break our big tasks down into smaller ones. We get a huge boost when we complete a big challenge, but we also get surges of happiness along the way with each small success. Challenges that are difficult but within our ability give us the most positive stimulation.

We're more content when we avoid procrastination and handle important tasks immediately. It's often difficult to get motivated, but once we start, we tend to gain momentum and persevere. We start by digging deep and gaining support and motivation from friends and family. We can set a specific period of time aside to complete a task and promise ourselves that we'll resist all distractions. Over time, we can create good habits which will make it easier to power through these difficult situations when we feel as if all of our motivation and willpower are depleted.

Everyone has days where they feel that their life is hopeless. No matter how well we train ourselves to think positively and use positive language, we'll still feel depressed from time to time. The key is to accept that we can't feel on top of the world at all times and just work through it. It's important to learn to function well even during these times. Sadness, pessimism, anger, anxiety, and other negative thoughts will always be in the background ready to creep up on us. Abraham Lincoln fought clinical depression his whole life, but he learned to persist and be functional even when he felt very low. We can't eliminate the demons altogether, but we can learn to battle through them.

### ACTIONABLES

● Remember that starting is often the hardest part. Just start and you will gain momentum to push through and find the work more enjoyable.

● Stay focused by using the Pomodoro Technique: use a timer to work in uninterrupted 25 minutes intervals with five minute breaks in between.

## 43 — Use Deliberate Practice

"Talent Is Overrated" by Geoff Colvin

Do you practice the enjoyable things, or those that will benefit you the most? To excel at something it isn't enough to simply practice often. The QUALITY of our practice is just as important as the QUANTITY. Deliberate practice is practice with the deliberate intention to maximize results. This is done by creating a practice plan that identifies and focuses on the areas that will bring us the greatest improvements. Unfortunately, deliberate practice tends to be highly demanding mentally and not very enjoyable. It feels good to do the things that we already know how to do well and it's much harder to motivate ourselves to work on our weak areas or new things. Few people achieve greatness in their work or craft because they don't employ deliberate practice, have a clear and specific focus, find a mentor, and/or commit to practice and continual improvement.

Using deliberate practice from an early age can result in a huge initial advantage and create a snowball effect. If we're better than others at something, such as a sport, we're more likely to receive more support and better coaching, which will make the ability gap between us and others even larger. For example, most professional hockey players were born in the first four months of the year because when we're young, a difference of only a few months in age can be a huge difference in maturity, size, and coordination. This initial edge provides the older children with more attention from coaches and opportunities for improvement. These early advantages are difficult to overcome, but, by being willing to invest more time than others and using deliberate practice, it is achievable.

### ACTIONABLES

● Remind yourself that the most important thing for you to work on is often not the most enjoyable.

● Use deliberate practice by asking: "What practice would benefit me the most?"

● Create a practice plan by scheduling time each day for deliberate practice.

## 44 — Focus on Your ONE Thing

"The ONE Thing" by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan

Are all things on your to-do list equally important? We could make better progress toward our goals by always determining and focusing our attention on our most important thing. We may feel good completing things on our to-do list even if they don't get us anywhere and neglect the important ones because they're difficult, take too long, or aren't as enjoyable. Pareto's principle, also known as the 80/20 rule, states that 80% of the results we want come from 20% of our actions. Essentially, it's important to realize that all things aren't equal and deserving of our time. By concentrating on the most important actions and dropping or passing off the least important ones, we can produce more of the results we want.

The best results come by going beyond the 20% actions by determining the single, most important thing and giving it the bulk of our attention. We can repeatedly ask ourselves the focusing question, "What's the ONE Thing I can do that will make everything else easier or unnecessary?" By asking ourselves this question in all areas of our lives, we can determine the best way to spend our time in each area. Focus is a matter of deciding what things we're NOT going to do. For example, we can hire an assistant to handle our calls and emails in order to free up time to focus on our most important thing, which may be growing our business.

It's also important for us to avoid the temptation to multitask when doing our most important work. Multi-tasking, the repeated switching of our focus from one task to another, is very difficult as we can only have one thought at a time. It may work for simple tasks, but for complex ones it tends to be counterproductive. We can produce the best results by giving our most important thing our undivided attention and not letting anything pull us away.

### ACTIONABLES

● Remind yourself that all things aren't equally important and try to give more time to our most important thing.

## 45 — Use the Power of Asking

"The Aladdin Factor" by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen

If you found a magic lamp and were granted one wish, wouldn't you carefully consider all of the things that you could ask for, narrow it down to what you truly want, and make sure to phrase it well to avoid misinterpretation? We tend to overlook the tremendous power of asking the right people the right questions in the right way. When we feel stuck in our lives, we may just be asking the wrong questions and need to take some time to dig deeper for the right ones. Determining the best questions to ask can be even more important than the answers because the quality of an answer depends on the quality of the question.

We may avoid asking out of fear of rejection, bothering people, or looking stupid. However, those bold enough to ask for what they want tend to be the ones who get what they want. We can overcome our fear of asking by telling ourselves that the worst-case scenario won't be as bad as we imagine and that it's definitely worth the risk. Instead of telling ourselves "I can't do that," we can ask ourselves "How can I do that?" or "Who can help me do that?" We can seek help from mentors: people who have been successful in our area of interest or have the specialized knowledge or resources to assist us. Our lives can be greatly improved when we become so clear and determined about what we want that, even if we don't get the response that we're looking for, we continue altering the questions and asking other people until we get our desired outcome.

### ACTIONABLES

1. Determine EXACTLY what you desire in each area of your life: career, health, body, relationships, money, lifestyle, etc.

2. Find people who can mentor, help, or advise you in each area.

3. Construct the best questions to ask and make them clear and concise.

4. Ask confidently, as if you expect to get what you desire.

5. If you are rejected, learn from it and move closer to success.

6. Continue asking questions until you're successful in achieving your goals.

## 46 — Understand Your Personality

"Personality" by Daniel Nettle

Did you create or inherit your personality? Our personality significantly influences our decisions and it's the reason why we react differently than others to similar events. We tend to believe we have more control over our personality than we actually do. Studies have shown that about half of our personality comes from our genes (nature) and this is why identical twins separated at birth show similar personality traits when reunited many years later. The other half of our personality comes from our environment (nurture) and is mostly developed in our childhood. For example, if we go through a traumatic experience growing up, it's more likely to affect our personality than if we went through an equally traumatic experience as an adult. Our personalities have different degrees of five major personality traits:

● **Extraversion** – Adventurous and outgoing.

● **Neuroticism** – Worrisome and want to change things.

● **Conscientiousness** – Ability to set goals and be dedicated to them.

● **Agreeableness** – See the needs of others as being as important as ours.

● **Openness** – Eager to learn as much as possible about the world.

Since our personality is largely out of our control, trying to be someone completely different can lead us to a life of frustration. Although some traits are more beneficial than others in certain situations, the good news is that there isn't a perfect personality. For example, if we don't get nervous easily, we may feel more comfortable meeting new people compared to the average person, but we may also take bigger risks and put ourselves in more dangerous situations. We're a stronger species by having both, risk takers and risk avoiders.

### ACTIONABLES

● Remember that your personality is largely out of your control and embrace it.

## 47 — Play to Your Strengths

"Finding Your Element" by Ken Robinson and Lou Aronica

Are you aware of all of your greatest strengths and passions? Our strengths are the activities that we enjoy and always perform well. Our greatest satisfaction and results come by first discovering our strengths, and then by determining the best ways to put them into action. However, it's common for people to neglect their greatest strengths by focusing their efforts on improving their greatest weaknesses. It's important to realize that we don't have to be good at everything and we can often use a strength to get around a weakness. Building our strengths is as important, if not more important, than building our weaknesses and we may be better off trying to utilize our best qualities.

Our passions are the activities that make us feel alive by inducing strong positive emotions within us and they often utilize our greatest strengths. When we're passionate about something such as drawing, writing, or playing sports, we get positive physical and mental feelings from performing the activity and also just by thinking about it. Since our genetic makeup is unique, so are our strengths and passions and we aren't likely to be aware of all of them. One of the best ways to determine our strengths and passions is to step out of our comfort zone by trying new things and being open to all opportunities. We can join classes, groups, activities, sports, and communities. The more we explore, the more we'll uncover about ourselves. We can analyze how we react in different opportunities to determine if they're a good match for us. Knowing our strengths and passions simplifies the rest of our decisions by helping us to clarify our ultimate goals and customize our life plans.

### ACTIONABLES

● Determine your specific strengths and passions and build your life around them.

● Instead of trying to fix someone's weaknesses, concentrate on utilizing their strengths to bring out their true potential.

● If you have always been interested in trying something new, then just go for it.

# PART 7:  
Our Decisions

## 48 — Make Lots of Decisions

"Stumbling on Happiness" by Daniel Gilbert

Why say "no" when it feels so good to say "yes"? We tend to be happier following a bad decision than a missed opportunity. The reason for this is that we can learn and gain positives from our mistakes, but we often only feel regret following inaction. We don't like to wonder what could have been if we had chosen to pursue that missed opportunity. Therefore, if we're struggling to decide whether to do something or not, we have a higher likelihood of satisfaction by being bold and just going for it. The more decisions we make, the greater our chances of success. Our mind is able to find positives and lessons following our experiences, but it can't do this if we don't act.

We're obsessed with keeping our options open, but we would be better off making a decision and sticking with it. Risk is a part of life and every decision we make. Unfortunately, we can't always make the best choice. We can overcome our fear of risk by making lots of decisions and learning to live with the consequences. Learn and grow from past mistakes and missed opportunities then let them go and keep moving forward. We're going to make some poor decisions and that's completely okay; it's simply a part of life.

### ACTIONABLES

● Trust your intuition, make lots of decisions, and don't lament over them.

● Turn your poor choices into positive experiences by finding lessons in them.

## 49 — Reduce Your Choices & Freedom

"The Paradox of Choice" by Barry Schwartz

Does maximizing your options maximize your happiness? We're actually happier when we have fewer choices and some constraints on our freedom. The more options we have, the greater our expectations become, the less likely it is that we'll make the best choice, and the more likely we are to regret our decision. We aren't aware of this so we try to create as many options for ourselves as possible. We may find it difficult to stick with our job, project, and/or romantic partner because with so many options, the odds tell us that there's a better fit for us out there. Consider only being given the choice between three jobs as compared to the thousands of job options we actually have in today's economy; we would have more confidence in our decision and we likely wouldn't dwell on our choice for very long.

More choice also increases our opportunity cost: the potential benefits that we give up when we choose one opportunity over its alternatives. These other options stick in our head making us less satisfied with our decisions no matter how great they may be. It can feel like we have an infinite number of tasks vying for our attention at any given time and, even though we can say "no" to these things, they still drain our energy and reduce our overall satisfaction. Our abundance of choice helps us to find better suited options and solutions, but we often end up feeling worse.

In addition, excess choice and freedom are more likely to produce paralysis rather than liberation. When we have too many options, we can find it difficult to make any decision at all out of fear of making a poor one. However, we would be better off making a choice and accepting that it likely won't be the perfect one. The trick is to find our sweet spot – enough choice so that we feel in control of our lives but not so much that we're paralyzed.

### ACTIONABLES

● Realize that by keeping your options open, you may never really get anywhere.

● Accept that you can't always make the best choice and just make a choice.

## 50 — Simplify & Organize

"The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin

Does your life feel like it's in a constant state of chaos? Simplification and organization of our lives allows everything in them to run more smoothly. We can greatly simplify and, therefore, improve our lives by identifying what's most important to us and then cutting out everything else. Doing too much most often results in exhaustion and frustration rather than greater accomplishment and satisfaction. Unfinished tasks or projects, especially important ones, can unknowingly steal our energy as they stick in the backs of our minds until they're complete. Therefore, we're better to avoid putting off our most important tasks and get them done. Just because we can do something doesn't mean that we should. Learn to say "no" to tasks that don't bring us much value. It's easy to complicate our lives, but the ongoing pursuit to simplify them is worthwhile.

Similar to complexity, disorganization depletes our energy and hinders our efficiency and effectiveness. This follows the expression: "A cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind." The more possessions we have, the more time we must devote to organizing, cleaning, and maintaining them. It's a losing battle to hoard those items that we MIGHT use one day in the distant future or those that gave us joy in the past but no longer do. Everything that doesn't provide us with some form of present value or happiness can be sold, donated, or discarded. Having too much of this useless stuff only gives us a false sense of security rather than happiness. When we purge those items we tend to feel good, like the weight of all of this stuff has been lifted off of our shoulders and we finally realize the truth: less is more.

### ACTIONABLES

● Look for ways to simplify all areas of your life by cutting out unimportant tasks.

● Immediately tackle tasks that will take less than two minutes to complete.

● Sell, donate, or discard all items that you haven't used in the last six months.

● Be a minimalist by trying to have the least amount of possessions possible.

## 51 — Moderate Pleasures & Increase Gratifications

"Authentic Happiness" by Martin E. P. Seligman

Are you a pleasure over-indulger? Pleasures typically provide us with immediate enjoyment with little to no long-term benefit. Some pleasures are essential to our survival, such as eating healthy foods and having sex for reproduction, while others only provide momentary happiness, such as eating ice cream or watching a movie. These other pleasures give us quick spikes of enjoyment, but they don't do much for our long-term happiness. We may also pay for them later by becoming unhealthy, feeling remorseful, or failing to complete our important tasks. When we enjoy something, we expect that adding more of it will magnify our enjoyment. However, there is a tipping point to our pleasures and it's important to be aware of this. The key is to find the happy medium between cutting out all pleasures and over-indulging in them. The best way to do this is by setting limits to enjoy them in moderation.

Gratifications, on the other hand, are engaging, intellectual activities that provide long-term enjoyment, enrichment, and growth, such as hobbies or work. They're more challenging and often require more motivation than pleasures, but they result in longer lasting happiness often without any downsides. Completing a project or volunteering to help others are gratifications that make us feel good and these feelings often last longer and have no downsides as opposed to short-term pleasures. Unlike pleasures, it isn't really possible to over-indulge in gratifications. Therefore, to improve our overall happiness, we're better off preventing our pleasure over-indulgence and maximizing our gratifications.

### ACTIONABLES

● Set limits on your pleasure consumption such as measuring a half-cup of potato chips and eating only that much instead of eating from the bag and losing track. Better yet, take the time to find healthy alternatives such as fruit, nuts, or yogurt.

● Find new projects, work on your hobbies, volunteer your time to good causes, and seek other gratifications to increase your overall happiness.

## 52 — Resist Bad Habits & Create Good Ones

"Rewire" by Richard O'Connor

Are you happy with your repeated patterns of behavior? Luckily, it's never too late to change our habits. Our brain is made up of an intricate network of neural connections that can be rewired. Repeated patterns of behavior create new neural connections and form new habits. Through repetition, these connections grow stronger and this is why repeated actions feel more natural and automatic over time and it's not easy to break our old, bad habits. Forming good habits and getting rid of bad ones takes time, patience, and persistence. Studies have shown that we can form a new habit after about 45 days of repetition. By focusing on making small improvements toward better habits, we can create big changes over time.

Similar to our habits, we can always improve our willpower. Although our willpower is a limited resource at any given moment, we can strengthen it over time by resisting old, bad habits and creating new, good ones. Our willpower is also contagious; when we practice willpower in one area, we build greater self-control that can transfer to other aspects of our lives. Positive habits build on other positive habits. For example, if we start going to the gym regularly, we may find that it becomes easier for us to eat better and reduce our TV watching. Therefore, it's best to allow ourselves to continue creating other positive habits instead of rewarding ourselves with a guilty pleasure for performing a positive action. It takes willpower to form a new habit, but once it becomes routine, it won't require as much effort or willpower.

### ACTIONABLES

● Remind yourself that each time you resist a bad habit or perform a good behavior you're slowly working to rewire your brain for the better.

● Replace thoughts of bad habits with thoughts of new good habits. For example, instead of telling yourself that you're not going to eat candy anymore, tell yourself that you're going to eat healthy.

● Tell others you're trying to create or break a habit so they hold you accountable.

## 53 — Use Intrinsic Motivators

"Drive" by Daniel H. Pink

What really drives you? Extrinsic motivation is doing something to avoid punishment or receive rewards like money or praise. Intrinsic motivation is performing an activity because we find it enjoyable or interesting. We think we need to motivate people with extrinsic motivators, but intrinsic motivators can create better results and a more fulfilling experience. Society trains us to seek extrinsic motivation; if we take out the trash, study hard, and work tirelessly, we expect to be rewarded with praise, high grades, and big paychecks. This is problematic because extrinsic motivation can destroy our natural intrinsic motivation. For example, monetary incentives often lead to stress, poor results, and immoral behavior rather than increased performance. When a person finds a job fulfilling, no further reward is necessary and incentivizing their actions may rob them of their natural enjoyment. Spontaneous praise, constructive feedback, and encouraging mastery give people joy in their work without the need to pay them more or promise rewards.

Similarly, children naturally have high intrinsic motivation, curiosity, and enjoyment of learning. Therefore, it's better to resist the urge to give them extrinsic rewards and help them find intrinsic ones. In one study, children were asked to draw a picture with half of them being promised a certificate for completion. When asked to draw again with no rewards, those children who previously received a certificate didn't want to draw, while those who didn't receive anything did. The promised recognition destroyed their intrinsic motivation for the activity and they learned to draw only for the reward. Reading a book, helping with housework, and doing well in school can be seen as rewards in themselves. It's important to give our children an allowance to teach them about money, but not as a reward.

### ACTIONABLES

● Motivate yourself and others with intrinsic motivators instead of extrinsic ones.

● Avoid incentivizing your children with gifts, money, or other rewards.

## 54 — Determine Your Values

"Awaken the Giant Within" by Tony Robbins

Do you have a clear set of core values? We become happier with our decisions when we base them on our values. If we aren't happy with our current situation, it may be because our underlying values aren't being satisfied. It's also possible that our values have been programmed into us by others and don't actually belong to us. We can unknowingly inherit values from our family, peers, and culture and, if we follow these values blindly, they can be a source of great frustration for us.

We can put our current values under the microscope by asking ourselves, first, what life do we desire, and secondly, what values would serve us best to realize this desire. The order of importance of our values is also crucial as our top values have the greatest influence on our actions by changing the way we think, feel, and behave. When ranking our values, we can ask ourselves, "If I prioritize this value, how will it positively and negatively affect my life?" By aligning our actions with our top values, we can create the quality of life we truly want. Some of the most common values are:

### ACTIONABLES

● Determine your ten most important values, rank them in order of importance, and make all of your decisions according to these values.

## 55 — Cultivate Virtue

"The Happiness Hypothesis" by Jonathan Haidt

Do you try to demonstrate strong virtue every day? Virtue is defined as acting with high moral standards. It's the goodness of character in our actions and thinking. There are numerous virtuous characteristics such as courage, compassion, self-discipline, honesty, and loyalty. It takes tremendous practice and discipline to act virtuously in all situations. Benjamin Franklin scored himself each day on how well he lived up to 13 virtues: temperance, silence, order, resolution, frugality, industry, sincerity, justice, moderation, cleanliness, tranquility, chastity, and humility. He found it very difficult to act according to them all each day, but he believed that he was a better and happier person just in attempting to do so.

It isn't easy to focus on the virtues of humility and character instead of self-obsession and success. We can try to always act virtuously while appreciating that it's very difficult to do so. It's helpful to create an image in our head of the type of person we want to be and remind ourselves of it every day. This image will remain in our thoughts and help us to make better choices when we're tempted to act outside of our beliefs. By analyzing our actions and learning, practicing, and persisting, we can become the virtuous person we want to be. Some of the most common virtues are:

### ACTIONABLES

● Analyze your actions and ask yourself if you could do it better next time.

● Choose ten virtues that you want to cultivate and recall them every day.

# PART 8:  
Our Time

## 56 — Let Go of the Past

"Stumbling on Happiness" by Daniel Gilbert

How well do your memories serve you? While we trust the accuracy of our memories, they're often a mixture of reality and imagination. Our minds tend to remember the key points and emotions of an experience, but not all of the details. Therefore, when we think back to an event, we may picture it differently than it actually happened because our mind fills in the missing details without our realization. When our brain fills in these missing details, it may exaggerate or downplay how things actually happened, especially when it puts us in a favorable light. Our memories can transform over the years as we forget more of the details and our mind continues to fill them in. Taking this all into consideration, we're best to be wary of our memories as it's likely that the events of our past weren't as good or as bad as we remember them to be.

When we recall a negative experience, such as a mistake or traumatic event, we relive the negative emotion as if it was happening to us all over again. Holding on to our past prevents us from living in the present and creating new experiences. It's nice to take quick trips into the past to find lessons and recall positive memories, but it can be detrimental for us to spend too much time dwelling there. It isn't beneficial to beat ourselves up for things that we did in the past. "If only..." thoughts are destructive and we can improve our lives by trying to eliminating them altogether. We did the best we could do at that time and we aren't the same person as we were back then. Every setback has something to teach us. It's important to extract these positive lessons and then return to the present moment; the only time that we have the power to influence.

### ACTIONABLES

● Remember that your mind can fill in the details of past events inaccurately so your memories can't be completely trusted.

● Find the positive takeaways from your experiences and then let go of the past.

## 57 — Don't Try to Predict the Future

"Stumbling on Happiness" by Daniel Gilbert

Can you foresee the future? The only thing that we know about the future for certain is that it will be different. However, we tend to believe that we can accurately predict future events. Unfortunately, this isn't the case since there are infinite possibilities and variations of the future and the further we look, the less accurately we can predict. These future predictions may push us to set goals with unreasonable expectations, bringing us frustration and greater dissatisfaction than when we started. Therefore, it's important for us to resist the temptation to sacrifice our quality of life in the present to be happier in the future; our future is unlikely to turn out as we predict. We can leave some "wiggle room" in our plans for the future to protect ourselves against our unreliable predictions.

When we imagine our future, we often keep it consistent with our current technologies, environment, society, and world events rather than realizing that life could be very different then. Our image of the future also tends to be based on our memories of past events and current emotional state. For example, if we go grocery shopping on an empty stomach, we may buy more food than normal because we're making a future prediction based on our current feeling. It's better for us to be mindful of these biases, as improperly set expectations can seriously affect our happiness.

### ACTIONABLES

● Resist the temptation to sacrifice your present happiness for your future happiness.

● Enjoy the journey toward your goals and don't get too attached to the result.

● Be wary of your predictions as they likely won't turn out as you expect.

## 58 — Live in the Present

"The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle

Do you spend most of your time in the past, present, or future? By learning to live in the present and enjoy each moment, we can discover that we have all the happiness we need right here and now. When we overlook our ability to be happy in the present, we can fall into the trap of always expecting a future event to bring us happiness, thinking that we have to sacrifice our happiness now to become happy later. Stress is caused by being in the present but wanting to be in the future. Instead of hoping to live better in the future, we can focus on improving the quality of our present life and finding ways to be happy independent of what happens in the future. We can set goals, not to increase our happiness in the future, but to increase our expression of happiness today. It's important to keep our primary focus on the present because nothing happens in the past or the future; things only happen in a continuous stream of present moments.

Living in the present doesn't mean that we should live passively without concern for our future. It's a way of conserving our energy that gets used up by dwelling on painful memories or over-thinking our future, and using this energy in the present instead. We'll likely find that by focusing on and living in the present, we can become more productive and effective at work. By having a less cluttered and stressed mind, we can concentrate on the present and the events that we actually have control over. It all starts with making the choice to be happy now and learning to appreciate our lives in each moment. True prosperity comes from being happy now.

### ACTIONABLES

● Find a way to be happy RIGHT NOW, in the present moment, instead of hinging your happiness on a future that may never come.

● Spend the majority of your time in the present with brief trips to the past and future when necessary. The moment you realize you aren't present, you are.

● Try to be present even during routine and mundane tasks like grocery shopping.

## 59 — Break Down Big Goals

"The ONE Thing" by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan

Have you set a long–term goal for yourself and are you working toward it every day? Success takes time. It's sequential rather than simultaneous and it doesn't happen by accident. The best way to start is by determining our most important, long-term goal and then breaking it down into smaller, more manageable goals. Success comes from properly identifying the steps we need to take in order to eventually achieve our main goal. One way to look at this is by contemplating the domino effect. This refers to a chain reaction where one event sets a series of similar events in motion. We can't knock over the largest domino (our long-term goal) directly, but by pushing over a small domino (task toward our long-term goal) we can progressively knock over bigger and bigger dominoes and eventually be able to knock over the largest domino.

An effective plan involves breaking down our long-term goal into smaller and smaller goals to determine what we need to do RIGHT NOW. This can be accomplished by asking ourselves the following seven questions:

1. **Long-Term Goal** – What is my most important, long-term goal?

2. **Five-Year Goal** – To hit my long-term goal, what do I need to do in five years?

3. **One-Year Goal** – To hit my five-year goal, what do I need to do this year?

4. **Monthly Goal** – To hit my one-year goal, what do I need to do this month?

5. **Weekly Goal** – To hit my monthly goal, what do I need to do this week?

6 **. Daily Goal** – To hit my weekly goal, what do I need to do today?

7. **Right Now** – To hit my daily goal, what do I need to do RIGHT NOW?

### ACTIONABLES

● Remember that success requires time, patience, and persistence while adhering to a clear and deliberate plan.

● Determine your long-term goals in each area of your life and break them down all the way to the present so you know what you need to do RIGHT NOW.

## 60 — Time Block

"The ONE Thing" by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan

Do you always make time for your most important work? Time blocking is the practice of scheduling important tasks and protecting these time periods from distractions so that we can focus completely on what is most important and be more productive. An excellent practice is to block a certain amount of time every day to work uninterrupted toward our most important task. It's important to let others know that they aren't to interrupt us during this time period. We can put a "Do Not Disturb" sign on our door as well as turn our phone off to minimize distractions. The best time to schedule our most important tasks is in the morning when our willpower and brain functionality are at their peaks.

For maximum energy management and productivity, we can plan our days to include all of the following:

● **Spiritual Energy** – Meditate and write down things that we're grateful for.

● **Physical Energy** – Eat right, exercise, and get enough sleep (but not too much).

● **Emotional Energy** – Spend time with friends and/or family.

● **Mental Energy** – Set goals, break down big goals, plan, and schedule.

● **Business Energy** – Time block our most important thing.

### ACTIONABLES

● Time block your most important task each day to allow yourself to focus and make progress on what is most important.

● Schedule spiritual, physical, emotional, mental, and business energy activities into your daily routine.

● The highest achievers tend to wake up earlier than everyone else. Wake up early and schedule meditation, journaling, and/or exercise before you go to work.

# PART 9:  
Our Money

## 61 — Spend Money on Experiences

"Happy Money" by Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton

Could your money be better spent? Conspicuous consumption is when goods and activities are purchased as status symbols instead of function. It can lead us to enter into a game called "keeping up with the Joneses" which has no winners, only losers. The objective of this game is to continually try to outdo someone else by buying something that's bigger and better. The most likely outcomes of this behavior are financial hardship and poor relationships. On the other hand, inconspicuous consumption is when goods and activities are purchased for their purpose and without any intention to demonstrate a higher status. We achieve greater happiness by practicing inconspicuous consumption and ignoring what other people are doing with their money.

Study after study has concluded that money isn't directly proportional to happiness. After our basic needs of food and shelter are met, our happiness isn't increased significantly with more money. For example, if we doubled our income, we would become only marginally happier rather than twice as happy. In general, spending money on experiences, health, and other people makes us happier than purchasing personal possessions. Therefore, we could attain greater spending satisfaction by putting more of our money toward vacations, healthy food, gym memberships, charitable causes, and our friends and family.

### ACTIONABLES

● Spend more of your money on experiences, health, and other people.

● Realize that added wealth and personal possessions won't bring you much, if any, long-lasting happiness.

● Instead of money, focus on the things that really improve your life satisfaction: friends, family, meaningful work, experiences, and health.

## 62 — Minimize Debt

"Happy Money" by Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton

What are the right reasons to go into debt? Borrowing money can be seen as taking money from our future selves in order to satisfy the desires of our present selves. This can be a smart move if we're borrowing to create more money for ourselves in the future by means of a business venture or other investment. However, borrowing money for other reasons such as luxury items or non-necessities is more likely to end in downgrading our standard of living. Oddly enough, we experience more pleasure from the anticipation of a purchase and working toward it than we do from borrowing money to purchase it immediately. We also end up appreciating the purchase more if we have to wait and/or work for it. Therefore, in order to attain the greatest pleasure and the least regret, we can minimize and prolong our non-investment and non-essential purchases and enjoy the anticipation and challenge of saving up for them. Also, by working toward what we want, we give ourselves time to determine if we really do want it and if it's worth the time and effort.

Unfortunately, it's very easy to get into debt and very difficult to get out of it. Being stuck in debt often creates negative emotions and many marriages and relationships are torn apart under its pressure. Just because we're approved for a loan or a line of credit doesn't mean that we should take it. We're better off making an effort to minimize debt as much as we can by avoiding the use of credit cards and loans unless it's absolutely essential or for a worthy investment opportunity. We can try to make all of our purchases using present-day money only. A house mortgage is difficult to avoid, but we can generally save up for and buy everything else without a loan. We can become happier by learning to live WITHIN our means and WITHOUT debt.

### ACTIONABLES

● Remember that the anticipation of a purchase and working toward it is more enjoyable than the actual purchase and you'll appreciate it more.

● Avoid borrowing money unless it's absolutely necessary or for a smart investment.

● Minimize your use of credit cards and try to use available cash or debit only.

## 63 — Live Modestly

"The Millionaire Next Door" by Thomas J. Stanley

Does the typical millionaire fit your stereotype? We picture millionaires as living lavish lifestyles with the best of everything, but this is a great misrepresentation. Those people who flaunt their money and who we perceive to be millionaires are often actually some neurotic members of the middle-class or the children of millionaires. The vast majority of millionaires live modestly; that's how they became so wealthy. They don't project their wealth and, therefore, they often fly under our radar. By living below our means, it's much easier for us to become and to remain millionaires. The size of our paycheck isn't as important as how much of it we invest. Millionaires tend to think long term and spend about twice as much time budgeting, goal-setting, and planning their investments than the average person. They often track their spending carefully and know how much their family spends each month on food, clothing, and accommodation.

People who live in million-dollar homes and buy luxury cars are often not millionaires but high-income earners trying to "keep up with the Joneses" by broadcasting an image of wealth. True millionaires typically don't live in the most expensive neighborhoods or buy the most expensive cars because this would greatly compromise their ability to save and build wealth. They also tend to choose partners who have good financial habits. A couple can't accumulate wealth easily if one of its members is a hyper-consumer. The millionaires who live below their means are typically happier and more financially secure than those millionaires who live beyond their means. Therefore, those who drive a Ferrari and wear a Rolex aren't necessarily happier or better off than those who drive a Toyota and wear a Timex.

### ACTIONABLES

● Remember that most millionaires don't project their wealth, they invest it.

● Live modestly to increase your chances of being wealthy.

● Choose a partner who has good financial habits.

## 64 — Don't Focus on Wealth

"The Geography of Bliss" by Eric Weiner

Are the richest countries also the happiest ones? Studies have found that some of the poorest countries in the world are actually happier than the richest. Bhutan, Switzerland, Iceland, Thailand, and India have been measured to be among the happiest countries. While the standard of living is highest in the richest countries, people often work longer hours, are more concerned with status and material things, and have fewer and weaker social relationships. It's obvious that money isn't the most important factor for our happiness, but most countries continue to pursue economic growth rather than the wellbeing of their people. Most countries track their progress by their gross national product (GNP), which measures the total value of goods and services produced in a country in a given year. Unfortunately, this measurement doesn't tell us anything about the quality of life of the people living there.

What are the happiest countries doing better? Bhutan, considered by many to be the happiest country in the world, measures their happiness by gross national HAPPINESS rather than gross national product. Their goal is to produce the greatest happiness for the greatest number of people. The Swiss typically live in moderation without buying luxury items or flaunting their money. Icelanders tend to have a strong sense of community and enjoy helping others become successful without being envious. Thailand's motto is "Don't sweat the small stuff" which means don't overthink anything. They tend to be more accepting of their emotions and what happens to them, whether it's joy or sorrow. People who live in India have strong social ties and they say that nobody is really homeless in India. While these countries are happier on average, we don't have to move to one of them to reach the same level of happiness. We can reproduce their happiness by realizing that money isn't the most important factor, and by mimicking some of these things that the happiest countries are doing correctly.

### ACTIONABLES

● Become happier by working less, having fewer possessions, avoiding luxury items and status symbols, helping others, and creating better relationships.

# BEYOND THIS BOOK

### Who should read this book?

Anyone who wants to improve their life; which should be everyone. We should feel great about ourselves for choosing to continue learning, developing, and improving our lives. Knowledge is power and there are many incredibly powerful ideas out there that could greatly improve our lives, but this isn't to say that we should try to read everything. Some ideas are much better than others and it's important for us to always make our own decisions about the proposed ideas instead of blindly accepting them as fact. We serve ourselves best by finding the ideas that resonate with us and by applying those to our lives.

### Do we just read or do we also implement and share?

There is a common misconception that our lives will automatically improve just by reading as many books as we can get our hands on. However, understanding and accepting good ideas isn't the same as putting them into practice. It's easy to read the material and get uplifted by the thought of change without actually changing anything. We gain the greatest benefits and understanding of the material by reading, implementing, discussing, and teaching it. So take the material and run with it.

### How do I contact TyVsTime?

Please connect with us by email at tyvstime@gmail.com. We'd love to hear any feedback, ideas, project suggestions, or collaboration proposals. Also, visit us at tyvstime.com to see our current projects.

Thank you for reading.

Please pass this book on.

