- HELLO, I'M DREW DROEGE.
I'VE BEEN DRINKING HEAVILY,
AND I'M GOING TO TALK TO YOU
ALL ABOUT THE REAGANS.
RONALD, NANCY, AND OTHERS.
GET READY.
HU--OH, HI.
SO, IT'S 1949.
A YOUNG ACTRESS NAMED
NANCY DAVIS
SOMEHOW GETS ON
A COMMUNIST BLACK LIST.
SHE KNOWS I GOT--I GOT
TO TALK
TO THE PRESIDENT OF
THE SCREEN ACTORS' GUILD,
RONALD REAGAN,
BECAUSE HE'S GONNA HELP ME.
HE WAS IN A MOVIE CALLED
 KNUTE ROCKNE,
AND HE WAS IN
 BEDTIME FOR BONZO.
A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T REMEMBER
RONALD REAGAN WAS VERY LIBERAL.
THIS IS A GUY WHO'S LIKE,
HEY, I'M AN ACTOR,
I'M THE PRESIDENT OF THE--OF
THE SCREEN ACTORS' GUILD,
I LOVE MY LIFE, I'M HOT,
AND PRO-UNION
AND ALL THAT STUFF.
THEN SOMEBODY SAID TO RONNIE,
LIKE, THIS ACTRESS, NANCY DAVIS,
WANTS TO MEET WITH YOU.
RONNIE SAW NANCY AND WAS LIKE,
SHE'S HOT, I'LL MEET HER.
SO THEY MET
FOR DINNER AFTERWARDS,
AND NANCY WALKS IN,
AND SHE IS BANGIN'.
SHE'S LIKE
GOT IT ALL HAPPENING.
SPILT--I SPILT ON MYSELF.
DO YOU HAVE ANY DRINKS--
DO YOU HAVE ANY GLASSES THAT ARE
ANY SMALLER--SMALLER LIPPED?
- WE BROKE INTO THIS PLACE,
I DON'T KNOW WHOSE IT IS.
- WHERE ARE WE?
- [laughs]
- DURING DINNER, AND YOU KNOW,
SHE WAS LIKE,
I'M ON A BLACK LIST
OF THE COMMUNIST PARTY,
AND HE'S LIKE--HE WAS LIKE,
WHAT?
AND SHE WAS LIKE, YES.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
AND HE WAS LIKE, I CAN'T.
YOU DON'T SEEM LIKE
A COMMUNIST TO ME,
AND SHE'S LIKE, I'M NOT.
THERE WAS NOTHING COMMUNIST
ABOUT HER,
SHE WAS ALWAYS
RABIDLY CONSERVATIVE.
HE GOT TO THE BOTTOM
OF THINGS
AND REALIZED IT WAS
A CLERICAL ERROR,
SO HE GOT HER OFF THAT LIST.
AND THEY WERE LIKE,
LET'S FALL IN LOVE.
BOOM.
HOLLYWOOD.
- YEAH, SO JUST--
PRETEND YOU'RE NANCY--
- I'M BEYOND WASTED.
- PRETEND YOU'RE--
- I'VE HAD A BOTTLE--
I'VE HAD A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY,
SO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT ME
TO DO.
- JUST PRETEND--
- LIKE I'LL DO WHATEVER
THE [bleep] YOU WANT ME TO DO,
BUT I--I WANT--I WANT
TO MAKE A GOOD SHOW.
- [laughs]
- OKAY, YEAH. OKAY.
THE REAGANS WERE MARRIED
IN 1952.
NANCY, YOU KNOW,
DEFINITELY CONVINCED RONNIE,
WE'RE--WE ARE HAS-BEENS.
LIKE WE--WE'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT
IN HOLLYWOOD.
YOU NEED TO BE
MORE CONSERVATIVE.
OW. OH, [bleep].
- YOU OKAY?
WHAT'D YOU DO?
- I'M FINE.
I STABBED MY OWN EYE OUT.
- I DIDN'T LE--
- WHAT?
- HOW DID YOU STAB
YOUR EYE OUT?
- LET'S BE FAMOUS,
YOU KNOW, POLITICALLY,
AND BECOME THE--THE FACES
OF CONSERVATISM?
SHE WAS BASICALLY LIKE
HIS MANAGER.
YOU NEED TO BE THE MOVIE STAR
THAT YOU ARE, ALWAYS SMILE,
AND HOLD YOUR HEAD TO A HALF,
45 DEGREE RIGHT ANGLE.
I THINK SHE, IN HER MIND,
RAN HER OWN STUDIO,
AND--AND--AND SHE HAD
ONE--ONE PLAYER,
AND THAT WAS RONALD REAGAN.
REMEMBER, BUSINETH--BUSINESS.
SO IT WAS 1964.
BARRY GOLDWATER WAS RUNNING
FOR PRESIDENT,
A HYPER-CONSERVATIVE,
A BORING HUMAN BEING.
THEY EMPLOYED RONALD REAGAN,
WHO WAS THIS FAMOUS, GREAT ACTOR
TO GIVE THE SPEECH.
IN THE SPEECH HE SAID YOU CAN
EITHER GO RIGHT OR LEFT.
BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT IT IS,
IT'S EITHER UP OR DOWN.
AND UP, YOU CA--YOU CAN CHOOSE
TO BE UP
TOWARDS INDIVIDUALISM,
OR DOWN
IN THE DEPTHS
OF TOTALITARIANISM.
PEOPLE WERE LIKE,
WOW, I NEED TO WATCH THIS.
HE HAS A CHISELED JAW,
I TRUST HIM.
I LIKE THIS GUY.
AND SO LIKE, THEN HE GOT VERY
POPULAR WITH THE REPUBLICANS.
SO THEY WERE NOT
SUCCESSFUL ACTORS AS ACTORS,
BUT THEY WERE INCREDIBLY
SUCCESSFUL ACTORS
AS POLITICIANS.
AND RONNIE BECAME
THE GOVERNOR OF CALIFORNIA.
NANCY WAS ALWAYS
ABOUT BEING FAMOUS ON ANY LEVEL.
LIKE, IF I'M NOT GOING
TO BE A MOVIE STAR,
I'M GONNA BE, YOU KNOW,
IN THE WHITE HOUSE.
ALL OF SUDDEN, IT'S THE '80s.
HE STARTED TO RUN
FOR PRESIDENT.
HE MADE EVERYONE
FEEL GOOD ABOUT--
ABOUT BEING AMERICAN AGAIN.
NANCY COACHED HIM.
NANCY WAS LIKE,
TALK ABOUT THE CHILDREN,
TALK ABOUT, UM, HOLIDAYS,
TALK ABOUT BOOZE,
TALK ABOUT ALL OF IT.
- [laughs]
- LANDSLIDE WON,
BECAUSE THEY WANTED A HERO.
SHE WAS IN CHARGE.
SHE DID IT, AND IT WAS--IT WAS
ONE GRAND PERFORMANCE,
UNTIL THE END.
PFFT, WHAT ARE WE--WHAT ARE WE
TALKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW?
- JUST, WELL--
- [burps]
- THE END--THIS IS BAD.
- HI, EVERYBODY--
- I JUST BURPED
ON COMEDY CENTRAL.
