All aboard the Steampunk train.
Destination: fame and fortune!
Steampunk has yet to have a true breakout
success, but that simply means that there
is a vacuum for the opportunistic writer to
fill, like a gaseous substance of some kind.
Hmm.
Steampunk is great to write because we can
finally flex our descriptive muscles and play
dress up with our characters and setting.
As a visual aesthetic for our world, Steampunk
is a great way to flavor a setting and can
open the vast possibilities human imagination,
ingenuity, inventiveness, and other words
that start with I.
Now just let me put on my steampunk goggles
and there!
Now we are ready for a deep dive into the
Steampunk genre!
Now the first thing we should start with in
our steampunk setting is the plot and more
importantly the characters.
We should put a lot of effort into characteriza…
oh wow that steam engine sure looks cool!
It wouldn’t be steampunk without the steam!
One surefire way to let the audience know
that this is indeed a steampunk setting is
by sticking hissing steam valves everywhere!
Steam powered engines, steam powered ships,
steam powered airships, steam powered rifles,
steam powered zombies, steam powered robots,
steam powered top hats, steam powered steam.
In addition to hissing steam valves, we also
need lots of cogs and gears.
Just haphazardly paste those on everything.
Who cares if they serve no function as long
as they look cool.
Not too many gears though.
Otherwise the story turns into clock punk.
Now the central conceit of steampunk is why
technology never advanced beyond steam.
Apparently big steam keeps the poor defenseless
oil companies down.
Who will stick up for the little guy?
Can’t let our tech be fueled by oil, otherwise
the story turns into Diesel Punk.
Or just don’t bother to justify the tech
at all.
Internal combustion?
Preposterous.
You can’t power things with explosions.
I’m sure lugging around that huge boiler
to power steampunk gear won’t get heavy
and that wood and coal will easily scale to
fuel ever growing industry and infrastructure.
I guess we could say that everything is fueled
by some kind of miracle substance.
I’ll call it contrivium.
This special substance can cover any plot
hole no matter how large and exempts a writer
from all research.
It might as well be magical technology.
But not too much magic tech, otherwise the
story turns into Gaslight Fantasy.
Wait a minute.
Wasn’t I working on something else important?
Oh yes.
Characters.
I almost forgot to focus on creating believable,
engaging, and wonderful characters to really
hook the audience into the story.
I should really dig into how the divergent
technology of the setting would affect society
and how that would shape the character’s...
oh wait!
I should set the story in the Victorian Age!
We can dress our characters up in cool Victorian
dresses and suits and then tack on some steampunk
gear just like all of those amazing cosplayers
at the conventions.
Don’t forget the goggles!
Those are essential.
A monocle is a viable alternative, but not
for the main character.
In fiction only snobbish, rich dudes and evil
military officers wear monocles.
Now that we have dressed up our characters,
we can finally work on fleshing them out.
It is really important that we give them a
variety of character traits that fit with…
oh no.
I spotted a problem.
Turns out that the actual Victorian Era had
a lot of, shall we say ‘unpleasant realities’.
The slave trade, classism, racism, child labor,
meat plant workers falling into the grinder
due to no safety regulations, and good old-fashioned
imperialism.
How can a writer deal with all of those when
designing the plot and setting?
We could use one or more of the Victorian
Era’s darker elements and make them central
to the story’s theme or primary conflict.
Having the main character embody the spirit
of discovery, humanism, and true science could
make for a dramatic contrast to the soulless
industrial machine controlled by a short sighted
and greedy high society.
Our protagonists would be willing to get their
hands dirty in order to help others, but I’m
not.
Writing about the ills of industrialization
sounds unpleasant and more importantly, might
require actual work because I would have to
read up on some of the real history of industrialization.
I have a much better idea.
Let’s take all of those complex historical
and culture issues, and just ignored them!
Let’s scrub the Victorian Era of all of
its problems.
There.
Nice and clean and PG-13.
Okay.
I cleaned up the setting.
Nothing like taking the punk out of steampunk.
Now what was I doing?
Oh right.
Now I remember.
I was making amazing characters who mesh seamlessly
with the story’s themes and … oh hey!
I should give my characters some really cool
steampunk devices that grant them awesome
powers!
Unlike a lot of genres, steampunk frequently
features heroic scientist characters.
And no, not actual peer reviewed, control
group, really sit down and compare evidence
to support a central hypothesis science.
Nope.
This is SCIENCE in all caps with full reverb.
Our scientist hero can instantly create amazing
devices that completely break the laws of
physics.
From ray guns to jet packs, our scientist
hero can build it so long as the writer is
vague about the scientist’s doctorate.
Our scientist hero is opposed by a mad scientist
antagonist, who unlike the good scientist,
only wants to use his powers for petty self
gain or is just insane.
I wonder how the mad scientist got his doctorate?
Seems the mad part would get in the way of
the science part.
But let’s not focus on that.
Instead, we need a way for our steampunk heroes
to get around.
A real steam powered invention was the locomotive.
This powerful and practical machine should
be completely ignored so our characters can
instead fly on totally safe and not at all
explosive dirigibles.
These airships will completely revolutionize
travel and logistics within a setting which
is why they should be throw into the story
without any thought.
Airships are great tools for our characters
to strike out into the frontier as they push
forward into uncharted and strange lands.
This contrast between the savage wilds and
industrial sprawl can be an excellent well
of conflict, but not too much wild west themed
frontier exploration otherwise the story turns
into Cattle Punk.
Okay.
I need to slow down.
What is wrong with this Steampunk story?
I can’t seem to figure it out.
I’ve glued gears and cogs on everything,
copy and pasted the Victorian Era and added
in a ton of airships.
Oh.
I see.
I forget to focus on characters and story.
The plot is a complete wreak and the characters
are poorly thought out and flat, but I don’t
see how that matters when I have giant brass
robots fighting super scientists with wind
up jet packs.
You know, I really don’t feel like fixing
the story and characters.
I don’t think it matters.
That is what Steampunk is really for, a crutch
to prop up crappy plot and characters.
Those handy steampunk toys are great for distracting
the audience from the utter lack of resonate
themes and a cast that has one personality
trait a piece.
It is important to stay true to the core genre
conventions of steampunk and adapt the story
to the setting even if it comes at the cost
of the story.
And if critics point out your paper thin characters
and plot with more holes than Swiss cheese,
then just give them a snarky comeback, but
not too much snark otherwise the story turns
into an episode of Terrible Writing Advice.
Normally this is the part of the video where
I would have a sponsor, but I have decided
that I will no longer compromise my artistic
integrity.
Which is why I have decided to outsource my
sponsorship readings to someone without any
scruples and thus keep my hands clean!
So take it away Dark Lord!
*Clears throat*
Foolish mortals!
You do not know the power of the Dollar Shave
Club!
For centuries my, if I do say so myself, handsome
face has been plagued, no cursed with the
most stubborn of hairs.
Being sealed away for untold eons, awaiting
for the planets to align to weaken the barriers
between worlds has caused my hygiene standards
to wane.
Yet no longer!
I have found the key at long last!
The Dollar Shave Club!
The Dollar Shave Club is an ancient and powerful
organization called a company?…
whatever that is.
And they forge powerful artifacts like toothpaste,
body wash, and hair styling products.
No doubt these are potent weapons that…
Hey, Dark Lord?
I don’t want to interrupt your Ad read or
anything, but I think you might be misinterpreting
a few things.
SILENCE, WORM!
You forfeited the right to do this ad read
when you submitted to me!
The spoils of the Dollar Shave Club are mine!
And now, after centuries of searching, I have
finally found the key I need to unlock the
Dollar Shave Club’s true power.
For you see, they have a special deal called
the Daily Essential Starter set for new members
for $5.
Once I have unlocked the Daily Essential Starter
set, then I will finally possess an unstoppable
collection of artifacts!
Such as the mighty Shave Butter, the unassailable
Body Wash, and the legendary One Wipe Charlies!
[Music Stops] What?
This heavy armor chafes a lot and the wasteland
around my fortress isn’t exactly overflowing
with decent TP.
However, the greatest and most powerful artifact
is the Executive Razor.
With a weighted handle and full cassette of
cartridges, this legendary weapon has slain
even the most stubborn chosen hairs.
With the power of the Executive Razor, no
hair shall stand in your way!
I’m not sure what an executive is, but it
sounds a lot like executioner so an executive
must be some kind of mighty warrior!
Not even a battle of attrition can wear down
the Executive Razor for replacement cartridges
are sent for only a few dollars a month!
Their quality will be mine!
I will accept nothing less than the best,
high quality, finely honed, razor sharp, steel!
This $5 offer, this key can be found exclusively
at the Dollar Shave Club dot com slash terrible.
Go my minions to Dollar Shave Club dot com
slash terrible and recover this deal before
the Chosen One arrives and steals my rightful
bargain!
Make haste, because I am completely out of
TP.
Ok, JP, where’s my cut?
Those minions are not cheap.
