I CANNOT STAND JAMES CORDEN
And while general disdain might be applicable
for most people I remain steadfast on my opinion
that I CANNOT STAND HIM. Everything about
him, How America laps him up like he’s a
solution to a fucking drought problem
But to be honest with you while the list of
problems I have with him ranges into the many
thousands, The biggest of which however is
just how he is ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE
I mean think about it, He’s got his own
talk show he’s in adverts he’s in movies,
carpool karaoke the list is stupidly long
and it frankly upsets me that it even is this
size.
Before we get onto the nitty gritty of what
I find inherently wrong about him let’s
just summarise James Corden because that’s
WHAT VIDEOS DO
James Kimberley Corden OBE (born 22 August
1978) is an English actor, writer, producer,
comedian, television host, and singer. He
hosts The Late Late Show with James Corden,
a late-night television talk show on CBS.
Now while this may be totally a subjective
take on him as a human being *inhale* I DON’T
THINK HE DOES IT VERY WELL
I knew I had to take this stance alone because
my comrades were fucking useless but if I
have to be the person to upset the apple cart
SO FUCKING BE IT!
What better way to make them see my ways then
make them watch the worst film that Corden’s
lack of talent had happen to grace then make
them sit through the EMOJI MOVIE.
AND WHEN THAT FAILED IT BECAME IMPERATIVE
THAT I TAKE ON THIS MAMMOTH CHALLENGE TO PERSONALLY
DECONSTRUCT EVERYTHING CORDEN STANDS FOR BECAUSE
I REALLY DON’T HAVE MUCH ELSE GOING ON
So I’m breaking down James cordon’s *hem*
talents into sections and I’ll tell you
why I hate him respectively on each section
because this is a serious essay about a serious
problem that has been seriously affecting
everything that I hold dear. James cordon!
(Fuck off you stupid fucking)
To say that James Corden is an actor is like
saying that I am Ghandi resurrected from the
dead. It’s just not something I am. In fact
the only time I think I’ve ever seen Corden
actually act is in the hit BBC Three sitcom
Gavin and Stacey where he played the lovable
“Neil Smith” or more commonly referred
to as “Smithy” where the BBC actually
describes this character in a nutshell as
“Neil Smithy Smith Jr. is Gavin's best friend
and they've known each other since primary
school. He is normally known only as Smithy -
his first name is not revealed until Series
2” (Trail off)
But the huge problem I have with Corden as
a whole is that he doesn’t actually act,
moreover reads from a script in James Corden
voice example? example.
I mean take a moment to think about it, have
you ever heard James Corden do another voice
or act like anyone who isn’t James Corden?
While media is entirely dependant on the people
behind the camera making the people in front
of it look any good, so true is there a talent
required in order to convey the words written
into something that the language intended.
For example, “I can’t believe you’ve
done this” is only as good as the sincerity
behind it
It’s safe to say that James Corden just
doesn’t emote and this is more and more
prevalent as he’s become associated with
fucking terrible movies.
I want you for a moment to think about all
the great television shows we’ve had over
the last few years. Television is so much
like hollywood blockbusters owing to the huge
production that goes into it such as the hit
HBO show Game of Thrones.
Indeed the margin for potential error has
shrunk so much now that any tv show that does
not hit the required grade for being classed
as a good tv show is immediately thrown to
the wayside and that is a good thing.
So often nowadays we get so much bland crap
thrown at us in movies, tv, music and more
and so it’s actually genuinely refreshing
when you have productions who go you know
what? NO. We are better then pretty little
liars we are better than the zoo on netflix
we are BETTER THAN THE FUCKING EMOJI MOVIE
It’s why even on commercials right now the
trend that is being followed by everyone is
Nostalgia because it sells. Take this advert
from british website Money Supermarket. Can
I just remind you that this website markets
loans, credit cards, mortgages etc.
Oh yeah, ACTION MAN! YOU KNOW OFF OF FUCKING
CAR INSURANCE
And the 
worst thing? This is not the first time they’ve
done this shit either! Why their previous
campaign relied on He-man and skeletor which
upsets me even more to inform you that this
commercial has nearly been watched 1 MILLION
TIMES
It’s everywhere you fucking look too! Nostalgia
has been the biggest selling point for awhile
now and it’s laziness because why bother
creating worlds when you can rely on previously
established ones that were popular in their
times to achieve nostalgia sales?
Often times too these movies are total flops
because the studios don’t actually care
about the source material as much as they
know that they are going to have people come
watch it because they remember it. Just think
about it
We’ve got a new Whinne the pooh and Mary
Poppins movie coming out in the not too distant
future and how many people do you think are
going to go watch those movies purely from
the nostalgia of the source material?
I know this is a round about way of saying
it, but it’s lazy, so very fucking lazy;
and it’s what people like James Corden have
become known for. If you’re not convinced
he’s appeared in nostalgia trips such as
Trolls, Peter Rabbit, Roald Dahl’s Esio
trot, Doctor who, the gruffalo
The list goes on.
To say that James Corden is a writer is as
much the truth as the sky is purple. He’s
not.
Once again Corden credits himself as a producer
and I suppose that’s fine if your CREDITS
FOR PRODUCING IS THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH JAMES
CORDEN
No not funny
This is pretty much the most accurate role
that Corden could describe himself as because
indeed he has hosted a television show, most
namely his wonderful TV Show The late late
show with James Corden which follows the same
structure as every American talk show that
exists with a very small catch THE HOST IS
BRITISH
I mean it’s like they want to shout it from
the rooftops that by Corden being British
it makes him intelligent, but it JUST DOESN’T
Ohhh what an AMAZING title James did you come
up with that yourself oh it’s so funny how
DID you become so talented?!
It’s absolutely incredible that someone
who reads scripts in James corden voice writes
in james corden voice PRODUCES in James corden
voice makes the not so funny in James corden
voice and hosts his WILDLY successful TV Show
that someone as SO TALENTED as James Corden
sings in a James corden voice! oh wait no
it’s not incredible at all because james
corden is the blandest twat EVER AND I HATE
HIM SO MUCH
Just so we’re on the same page here let’s
run through a list of individuals who can
“Sing” in no particular order
Yes yes no yes yes no yes yes no yes no no
no yes no yes no yes.
In short, James Corden: No.
Hey guys sorry this video took more than it
should have to come out I was in Hospital
so there is THAT - DEAL WITH IT but I am planning
much more in the future. So if you wanna you
should click the subscribe button then the
real subscribe button because that’s relatively
important and as my tanking views show lately.
Thanks for watching!
