Find out exactly why guys on death row somehow
always get married!
Unexpected Love
Where’s an unexpected place to find love?
Yeah, that’s right, prison.
If we were on Death Row, one of the last things
on our mind would be love.
But inmates getting married actually happens
way more often than you expect!
There’s actually a word and a condition
for having an attraction to someone that’s
committed a crime.
It’s called hybristophilia!
The term is derived from the ancient Greek
words hubrizein and philo.
Hubrizein means "to commit an outrage against
someone" , and philo means "having a strong
affinity/preference for".
It's also known as Bonnie and Clyde syndrome.
This is the most likely reason why someone
like Ted Bundy ended up married and becoming
a father after getting into prison.
Or why both of the Menendez Brothers are currently
married, despite being in prison for almost
30 years!
Power Dynamic
But why?
What are the real reasons?
Psychology bloggers have presented different
theories for why someone would be attracted
to someone in prison.
This included the desire to change that person.
Or the tendency to only see the good in that
person, such as seeing someone that’s been
hurt instead of the actual flawed criminal.
Sometimes some women just do it to try to
get in on the media spotlight!
Author Sheila Isenberg interviewed female
hybristophiliacs for one of her books.
What she found out was quite interesting.
A lot of the women were doing it for the fantasy
element of it all.
That and along with having control.
Obviously, if her man is behind bars and she’s
out in society, she has control in the relationship.
She can decide when to visit.
She can choose when to take phone calls.
Or decide whether or not she’ll even accept
the calls!
She’s that man’s primary link with the
outside world.
So as you can clearly see, it's a powerful
position to be in!
Taboo Excitement
Then there's the taboo danger part to the
romance.
Obviously there’s still a danger to it when
the person they’re with could just snap
at any moment.
And then there’s the hyper-masculine aggressive
part that’s appealing to some women.
That’s according to Dr. Michael Aaron, a
NYC-based therapist.
So do men get these same feelings too?
While the vast majority is women, some guys
can have the same feelings for women in prison
as well!
According to Aaron, these guys may also be
attracted to the thrill and emotional intensity
women on death row stir up.
But it’s nowhere as many as their women
counterparts, just for the simple fact that
there are way fewer women locked up.
Basically, it sounds like these women are
attracted to guys who are a bit primal!
They’re into going against social standards.
There’s just something for them going against
the normal, polite and groomed ways society
expects.
One Big Fantasy
Women that have been interviewed admitted
that they never actually want to be in real
danger.
They’re essentially just wanting to play
out a fantasy that’s in their head.
The total lack of empathy for human life is
one of the major draws.
But it isn’t what the women ACTUALLY believe
in.
Katherine Ramsland, professor of forensic
psychology at DeSales University, has also
heard one special theory.
One woman told her of the notion of the 'perfect
boyfriend'.
How?
Well, she knows where he is at all times.
She knows that he's thinking about her, because
what much else is going on in prison?
Also she knows that someone loves her.
BUT she doesn’t have to endure the day-to-day
issues involved in most relationships.
There’s no laundry to do, no cooking for
him, and no accountability to him.
Apparently, she can keep the fantasy charged
up for a long time!
Hindbrain Engaging
Psychologist Leon F. Seltzer thinks that most
of it is based on evolutionary psychology.
This is the textbook case of alpha males that
tend to attract women.
This is because alpha males were good at protecting
women and their offspring according to evolutionary
history.
He says the women may consciously realize
that it’s actually dumb to date someone
that’s a serious criminal.
BUT.
They’re attracted to them anyways.
Basically, the hindbrain takes over!
This is essentially the extreme version of
why women don’t quote unquote, want to date
nice guys!
Women becoming infatuated with guys on death
row happens over and over.
There are plenty of examples.
Carol Anne Boone, for example, married Ted
Bundy and had his child.
Richard Ramirez married magazine editor Doreen
Lioy while in prison.
And probably the most famous example is Charles
Manson!
He was granted a marriage license in 2014
to marry Afton Elaine Burton.
She had been visiting him for the previous
nine years.
The two never ended up swapping vows before
Manson passed in November of 2017 at the age
of 83.
However, later reports alleged that his 26-year-old
bride-to-be only wanted him to make money.
Apparently, she wanted to keep him in a crypt
and charge people money to come and look at
his body!
Yeah, that’s not weird.
But we bet she was still attracted to him.
Widespread Popularity
But if you really think about it, this is
one reason why TV series discussing serial
killers are big hits.
Society doesn’t really want to admit that
the serial killer is a figure that fascinates
the public.
Just think of the true crime wave that’s
taken over pop culture.
The hit podcast Serial introduced the world
to Adnan Syed and his quote "dairy cow brown
eyes" in 2014.
Then there was Netflix's Making a Murderer
that debuted in 2015.
Whether they like to admit it or not, people
are interested in all the details about things
that they would never do themselves.
It's the whole trying to understand someone
whose psychological level that’s just not
normal.
Plus, the media circus of major cases are
the driving force behind these women reaching
out to connect with the prisoners in the first
place.
If there wasn’t coverage, most people would
never know about these guys.
Steven Avery
And ironically, Netflix gave viewers a front-row
seat to one of these relationships in Making
a Murderer Part Two.
The docu-series became a one person Tinder
app for Steven Avery!
Part 1 introduced us to a few of Avery's girlfriends,
including his former-fiancé Sandra Greenman.
In between the two seasons, his love life
played out in the tabloids.
After splitting from Sandra, Avery began dating
Lynn Hartman.
She began writing to Avery in prison to quote
"offer some kind of support", as she explained
during her brief appearance in Part 2.
Avery acknowledged all the attention he was
receiving from female fans.
The couple got engaged before they actually
met for the first time.
Hartman even appeared on Dr. Phil to discuss
their relationship!
However, a few days after they filmed the
episode, the couple's engagement abruptly
ended.
Hartman sent the break-up note she wrote Avery
to the media, along with posing in the dress
she bought for their wedding in a televised
interview.
Yeah, it definitely seemed like she was in
it for the spotlight!
Nikko Jenkins
Another example is Nikko Jenkins.
Nikko is on death row for disposing of four
people during an eight-day crime spree in
Nebraska back in August 2013.
Dawn Arguello fell for Nikko Jenkins while
volunteering for an inmate advocacy group.
According to her, he's actually 'very sensitive'
and 'very intelligent'.
Yeah, sounds about right!
Jenkins has been described by a psychiatrist
as a psychopath.
He went on his shooting spree less than two
weeks after he was released from prison for
stealing cars.
Really, it's unclear as to what they’ve
bonded over.
However she does appear to have a strong interest
in prison life.
In addition to belonging to a prison advocacy
group, Arguello's Facebook profile lists her
favorite film as Letters From Death Row.
She lists her favorite book is Real Life Monsters:
A Psychological Examination of the Serial
Murderer.
However, one of Arguello's friends insists
that she's not a 'death row groupie'.
Well, that’s definitely one way to be self-aware!
Oscar Ray Bolin
But it's not always the "groupies" that marry
the guys on death row.
Lawyers get in on the action too?!
Oscar Ray Bolin was on death row when he married
Rosalie Martinez, a member of his legal defense
team.
Martinez left her husband and gave up primary
custody of their four children for Bolin and
the two remained married until January 2016
when it was his turn for the ahem, injection!
She confessed that she quote, never, never,
ever thought for a second that he was guilty.
She said that during a 20/20 special on their
relationship!
Jeremy Meeks
Then there’s Jeremy Meeks.
Although he wasn’t on death row, his story
still is essentially the same here.
You likely wouldn’t ever know anything about
this guy who police had called quote “one
of the most violent criminals in the Stockton
area” if he wasn’t good looking.
But his mugshot went viral after the Stockton
Police Department posted it on their Facebook
and he was on a lot of people’s radar!
After he served a couple years in prison,
he became a prominent model and ended up working
for several well known brands such as Philip
Plein and Tommy Hilfiger.
The best part?
He went on to date a billionaire’s daughter,
Chloe Green, and she had a kid with him.
All this from one mugshot going viral!
Crime definitely pays for SOME people!
Watch this next video to learn all about how
this guy scammed almost 40 million dollars!
