I’m about to tell you the secret to never
procrastinating again.
Buuut fiiiirst, I think I’ve got time for…
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next on TimTom Gets Straight up Kidnapped!
I have a really distinct memory of the first
time I saw Kiki’s Delivery Service.
Which is a great movie, and since you like
my channel, obviously you have great taste
and I’m sure that you’ll love it, but
that’s beside the point.
It was a lazy Sunday afternoon, the sun was
shining, birds were singing, and if you listened
closely you could hear the distant sound of
someone wasting their time mowing their lawn.
I should have been completely relaxed and
enjoying life.
But there was just one problem.
I had an essay due Monday.
The weekend was drawing to a close, and my
stress level was rising.
So, I did what any reasonable person would
do in a situation like that.
I grabbed my backpack… and moved it off
the couch so I could sit down and watch TV.
Instead of confronting the thing that was
stressing me out, I distracted myself with
whatever was playing.
As I watched the movie, I got progressively
more stressed out.
I’m burning daylight, why don’t I just
go get it done?
I became unbearably uncomfortable, with a
lump in my throat, and tension in every muscle.
No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t
relax.
The longer I waited the more I was paralyzed
by stress, and the more I needed to focus
on something else to try and stop myself from
freaking out.
From the outside, I was just watching a movie,
intently.
Now this was so long ago that I don’t actually
remember if I got that essay done on time,
but knowing me, probably not.
I was a chronic procrastinator in school.
Teachers always told me that I needed to manage
my time better.
Schedule specific times to do things, set
deadlines.
I tried, I really tried, but none of that
advice ever helped and all through highschool
I always ended up doing things last-minute.
So, not only was I super stressed out all
the time, I started to feel pretty crappy
about myself.
Like, dang, why can’t I just get it together?
After a while you just feel like a failure.
And I’m not the only one.
There are so many videos about procrastination,
and some of them even try to give advice.
The problem is, so much of that advice is
completely worthless.
It usually boils down to what my teachers
told me, “You’re just not managing your
time effectively.”
What if I told you that procrastination wasn’t
about managing time at all?
Procrastination is about managing emotions.
Oh!
Hold on!
Ah!
My head.
My brain!
*heavy breathing* I’m so sorry, I just blew
my mind.
Ok…
I know that might sound a little wild at first,
but I promise it’s true.
When I think back to every time that I’ve
procrastinated, it’s been something pretty
important.
And the funny thing is, the more important
it is, the more I care about doing a good
job, the more likely I’ve been to put it
off.
What’s really happening is that the more
important something is, the more afraid I
am of messing it up, and you can’t mess
something up if you’re not doing it.
So the more I wait, the less time I have to
work, which means I’m even less likely to
do a good job.
Do you see?
DO YOU SEE THE VICIOUS CYCLE!?
It’s all there…
But it’s not always a fear of failure.
Sometimes it’s just a lack of clarity.
When you’ve got a big project to do, the
first step isn’t always obvious.
So there’s lots of uncertainty looming over
you.
In that case it’s really a fear of the unknown
that’s stopping you.
In either case, there’s a strong emotion
that’s demanding to be dealt with, and the
way I think a lot of people deal with it is
to distract themselves.
It’s so much easier to just do something
comfortable, like watch Kiki’s Delivery
Service.
Another one of my favorite strategies is something
I like to call “Lie to myself.”
Which is a pretty neat trick, watch this.
Let’s say that it’s Friday after school.
I have a big project due on Monday, but I
just worked hard all day, and I don’t really
have the energy to work on it right now.
I’ll get started tomorrow.
See what I did there?
I lied to myself.
I was kinda stressed about the project, and
naturally I needed to manage that emotion,
so I made something resembling a plan.
That made me feel like I was in control, and
it reduced my stress.
Mission accomplished.
But like, I don’t have a history of making
effective plans for the future, and the next
morning my friend is gonna call me and we’re
gonna go climb on some rooftops downtown.
I should know by now that my plans will not
survive a call from Gary.
A better plan would have accounted for that.
So to recap: Most people think that procrastination
is about managing time, when it’s actually
about managing your emotions.
This leads to putting effort into fixing the
wrong things, and getting nowhere.
Meanwhile, they manage their emotions with
ineffective strategies like distraction.
Things don’t improve, and the cycle repeats
itself.
Now that we know what the real problem is,
let’s talk about how to deal with it.
Managing your emotions effectively is something
that probably takes a lifetime to master,
so don’t beat yourself up when you fail.
It’s still gonna happen, and that’s ok.
I think the first step to stopping procrastination
is just to recognize when you’re distracting
yourself.
Which is surprisingly hard because the whole
point of distracting yourself is to stop thinking
about the thing that you’re supposed to
be thinking about.
But every now and again, while you’re watching
a video or playing a game, you might have
a moment of realization “wow, I should really
get to work” in that moment you have two
options, either you can say “maybe just
one more video” or you can close the tab
and actually get to work.
If you choose to continue to distract yourself,
who knows how long it’ll be until you have
another chance to break free.
Those moments are incredibly important, and
if you want to stop procrastinating, that’s
when it needs to happen.
We all know how often “one more video”
has turned into 5 and then 10 more, so take
it from me, don’t lie to yourself.
There’s no such thing as “just one more.”
And if you can do that, you’re half-way
there.
Once you’ve stopped distracting yourself
you might notice that you’re pretty anxious
about whatever it is you need to do, and if
you’re anything like me, you’ll reflexively
reach for some other distraction, but you
don’t need to.
Just take a moment and breathe.
Anxiety isn’t fun, but distracting yourself
just delays it.
To make it go away, you need to do something
to gain control.
Take a moment to think about what specifically
needs to be done, and break it down into small
pieces.
If you can put together a really clear plan
of action, some of that anxiety might start
to fade.
You might still be intimidated by the idea
of “getting started” so maybe step one
is just to get your notebook out.
That’s it, you don’t need to write anything.
But maybe, once you realize that wasn’t
so bad, you could open the notebook.
Once you have a plan, don’t think about
the future, don’t worry about all the steps
to come, just focus on the present moment.
What do you need to do this very second.
Nothing else exists.
Clear your mind, and pick up the pen.
