What's this party for, again?
(Roger)
There's been a party like this every week!
Just thank the President of Student Government.
Biff Bohnson?
(laugh)
Excuse me, Liz.
Yeah, uh, excuse me too.
I shouldn't have come here.
I'm no good at parties.
Neither am I.
Oh, hello, I'm Liz.
I'm Malcolm.
I've seen you around.
I like your gloves.
Oh...thanks.
Your acne is SO hot
and your beard is very
fashionable.
Hey, where are you going?
("Saturday" by The Mystic Madman)
Hey jerk and jerkettes, listen here please.
This party's getting kinda lame
so let's liven it up.
Food fight!
We should go outside, Liz.
Oh no, watch out!
What?
Malcolm!
Oh, isn't that just the cutest squirrel?
Isn't he, Malcolm?
Get it away from me.
Come on, give him a little kiss.
I said no!
Oh my gosh!
It was like everything that touched his
skin turned to dust
the strawberry, the squirrel...
Must have been why he was wearing those gloves.
You've all heard the story of Midas, correct?
Heard it a million times.
Guy loves gold, so everything he touches turns into gold
The End
Then have you heard of his cousin, Lidas?
Who?
Midas wasn't the only one who received a gift from the gods.
What did he get? Fancy sports car?
You see, Lidas had a strong fear of death.
Did he wish for immortality?
(Professor)
No, that was reserved for the gods
so he wished for the next best thing:
to have his fear removed.
(Carl)
That's it? That was his gift?
(Professor)
Not exactly
the gift he was given was the touch of death.
Whatever he touched, be it man, animal, or plant
would crumble into dust.
(Liz)
How would that stop his fear?
The gods believed it would desensitize him to the whole thing.
That's dumb.
So what happened to Lidas in the end?
He jumped off a bridge.
So you're saying this Malcolm guy has the Lidas touch?
But how?
It's technically a type of virus
It only affects, well, a very, very, very small percentage of the world's population.
Is there a cure?
Since the Lidas touch is based on death
he needs to be in contact with the opposite:
life
Life?
I don't get it
everything that touches his skin dies.
Who said anything about touching his skin?
Malcolm!
I knew I'd find you, or you'd
find me.
Liz, about what happened
I'm sorry you had to see that.
No need to apologize - I know exactly what's affecting you
and I know how to cure you.
Cure me?
Ugh...where am I?
Welcome to my physics lab
I am the Professor.
What's the meaning of all this?
It's the one thing that can counter your Lidas touch:
life
All the fresh plants and the cutest animals we could get
and a newborn baby
(Roger)
Whose baby is that, anyway?
No! If I touch anything, they'll die.
You need to close your eyes
open your mind
open your thoughts
to the warmth of organic life.
Organic life...
Professor!
Open your eyes - it's done.
You did it!
You actually did it!
I can feel it!
I actually feel alive!
Liz. thank you so much.
You still need to rest
go home
you can talk more tomorrow
Bye Liz!
There he
is.
Malcolm!
Oh yeah, it's you.
Hey, um
want to go out or something?
Get coffee, catch a movie?
Buzz off. Can't you see I'm busy?
But I--
Come on, ladies.
I'm through hanging out with losers.
I don't understand.
I thought he liked me.
Maybe he did until he found out he could do better.
Yeah, he only liked you because he had the Lidas touch
you were the only girl he had a chance with.
A girl with a beard is better than me?
(Carl clears throat)
No comment.
(sigh)
