 
# Unwritten Life Paths to Destiny

A Prequel to "Unwritten Life"

Amy Shannon

**ISBN:** 9780463442326

Fourth Printing /Rebranded Edition

Story previously published as Unwritten Lives: Path to Destiny

Copyright © 2006, 2014, 2016, 2018 by Amy C Shannon

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior written permissions of the author, except by a review who may quote brief passages in a review to be printed in a newspaper, magazine, or journal.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

**Credits** :

Cover Illustration Copyright © 2018

Cover design by Amy Shannon

MOD Life Epic Saga

1 Unwritten Life

2 Rewritten Life

3 Unwritten Life's Paths to Destiny (prequel)

Volume Three
Table of Contents

Alexis's Path

Pennsylvania

Ohio

Michigan

Chicago

Iowa

Wyoming

Idaho

Nevada

Arizona

Jim's Path

Ohio

Michigan

Arizona

Iowa

Nebraska

Wyoming

Arizona

Idaho

Nevada

Arizona

### Introduction

Experience the two paths taken that brought them into each other's arms.

Alexis' path begins with her on trial for murder. Live through Alexis' ordeal as she flashes to memories of her and her first love, Matthew Garris. Experience her "cop fascination" as she makes her travels across country and transforms herself from Alexis Garris to Alex Garrison, where she finally meets her destined love.

Jim's path begins with his searching for his perfect blonde, perfect woman, his destined angel. Jim's path intercepts with Alexis Garris, but both are unknown to each other. Experience Jim's heartbreak at the loss of his father, along with the pain of losing his best friend, Matthew Garris, while he tries to discover where he wants his life to end up. experience Jim's side of the story as he met Alex Garrison.

### Alexis' Path

###  Pennsylvania
### 1

ALEXIS GARRIS GRABBED on to the steel bars and cried. "How could this happen to me?" she mumbled to herself. She turned around and stared at the 9x9-jail cell that she now called her home. She slowly collapsed on the cot and stared at the ceiling.

"Hey, Garris!"

She sat up quickly and stared at the two officers. "What do you want, Capshaw?" she muttered.

"This is CO Wheeler. You're his new assignment. They placed you on 24/7 watch."

"Why would they do that?" she covered her eyes.

"You know why," Officer Capshaw answered. "Walter, she's behaved herself since she was brought in from the hospital, but watch out for the quiet ones," he left them.

Alexis could see Walter's smile through his bearded face. "What are you looking at?" she cried.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to stare," his voice was soft and polite. "Please stand over here."

She reluctantly got up and walked over to the bars. "Yes, sir, what is it?"

He extended his hand through the bars. "I'm Walter Wheeler. I'll treat you as you treat me."

She shook his hand. "I'm Alexis Garris, and before you ask, yes, _that_ one."

"What one?"

"Never mind. It's not important. May I please lie back down? My back is killing me."

"Yes, of course. What's wrong with your back?"

"Don't you know anything about me?" she snapped. "I'm sorry, just tired of having to explain it to everyone," she ran her hands through her light brown hair.

"Don't worry about it. We can talk about it later. Is there anything I can get for you?"

"I'd like to see my sister-in-law, but they haven't let me have any visitors yet. I've only seen my attorney."

"What's her name? I'll see what I can do."

"Her name's Emily Martino," Alexis smiled weakly. "Um, excuse me, why are you being nice to me? Everyone else treats me like, well, a murderer. I mean, I guess I am one, but you're different."

"Alexis, I treat people the way they treat me. From what I hear, you're claiming self-defense."

"That's my attorney for you."

"Are you saying it wasn't?"

"I'm not saying anything. Remember, anything I say can be used against me."

"Well, it looks like we'll be together at least until the trial is over. I'll be right over there if you need me," he pointed to a small, windowed room across from the cell.

"Sure, whatever. I'm not going anywhere," she sat on the cot, buried her face in her hands, and closed her eyes. "Oh, Matthew, what happened?" she whispered. "How'd we end up here? Six years is just not long enough," her mind flooded back to when she first met Matthew.

Alexis and Mary stood behind the counter waiting for more customers to arrive. The bell gently chimed as the front door opened. Alexis gasped with excitement as she watched John and a stranger walk in and sit down. "Mary, who's that with John?" she managed to say.

"Oh, him?" Mary smiled teasingly. "That's Matthew Garris. Nice uniform, huh?"

"Oh, yeah," Alexis took a deep breath. "Oh, yeah."

"Lex, I thought you liked cops," she laughed.

"Very funny," she rubbed her forehead back and forth with her hand. "I can't explain it but a man in uniform, is just, well, I don't know, extremely sexy."

"You just like the shiny metals that lay across their chest," Mary laughed.

"Never mind that, just tell me more about this Matthew," Alexis poured herself a cup of coffee.

"Oh, all right," Mary turned and faced Alexis. "He's new in town. He's a captain in the Marines. He met John a few weeks ago. I guess, you could say that Matthew has been traveling around the country."

"Why is he in a dress uniform then?"

"There was some special service today. I'm not sure what it was about. John had to be there today, because the Governor was also there."

"Yeah, John's some bodyguard, isn't he?"

"Yes, he is and he's all mine," Mary cracked.

"I know. I'd never, Mary, you know me."

"Yes, honey. I do know you. Why don't you bring them some coffee over? Maybe John will introduce you to him."

She ran her hands over her hair in an attempt to fix it.

"Lex, you look fine."

"Yeah, right. I'm a mess," Alexis grabbed the coffee pot and carried it over to the men. "Hi, John," she tried not to look at the gorgeous Matthew Garris but couldn't help herself. "You two want some coffee?"

Matthew looked up at Alexis and smiled brilliantly. Alexis noticed his piercing blue eyes that complemented his dark wavy hair. "Yes, thank you," he said.

Alexis took a deep breath and poured John his cup, but when she tried to pour Matthew's cup, her hand shook nervously, and she spilled it all over his lap. "Oh, my god. I'm so terribly sorry," Alexis quickly ran over to the counter to grab some towels. She gently patted Matthew's lap. "I'm really sorry. I don't know what came over me."

Matthew touched her arm and their eyes met. "Don't worry about it. It's nothing the dry cleaners can't handle," he laughed.

"I've never done anything like this before. I don't know what happened. I'm so sorry. Did I burn you?"

"No. Please, sit down," he smiled. "John, will you excuse us for a moment?"

John stood up. "Lex, please sit down. I'll be over with Mary if you need us," he hurried over to the counter. John and Mary focused their eyes on the couple as Alexis sat down.

"Lex?" Matthew asked.

"My name's actually Alexis," she smiled nervously.

"I'm Matthew Garris. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"I'm so sorry about this. I guess, well, I got a little flustered," she admitted.

"Really? Why?"

"You'll have to excuse me. I'm sorry. One of my faults is that I'm brutally honest and never subtle," she rubbed her forehead back and forth with her hand.

"What are you trying to say to me, then?" he stroked her hand as it lay on the table.

"Here goes nothing," she looked up and met his eyes. "I find you very attractive. There I said it," she took a deep breath.

"Well, Alexis, You're very beautiful."

She blushed slightly. "How long are you in town? I heard that you're in the Marines."

"I've been traveling a lot. I was promoted to Captain recently, but it's not what I want to do for the rest of my life."

Alexis looked around. "I know the feeling," she smiled at John and Mary as they continued to watch them. "You'll have to excuse them. They act like they've never seen me with a man before."

"Oh, you aren't involved with anyone?" Matthew asked.

"No, and it's been a while since I've dated. I'm just so busy here at the diner."

"Not to knock this place or anything, but why do you work here?"

"Let me formally introduce myself," she smiled as she took a deep breath. "I'm Alexis Rossi."

"Oh," he said. "I didn't know. I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. If you're uncomfortable, I understand. Once people find out who I am, they usually are slightly intimidated."

"Oh, it's not that. I just didn't realize that a waitress would be a millionaire," he laughed slightly.

"I'm sorry, Matthew," she started to stand. "I'll let you finish your coffee."

"Alexis, wait, please," he smiled and took her hand. He kissed it softly. "It doesn't bother me, but it just makes me more curious. Why do you work here as a waitress?"

"I like meeting people and earning my keep. Yes, I do own the diner, but I like working here. I didn't earn the money that I inherited, my mother did. I use it when I see a need for it, that's all," she sat back down.

"Alexis, would you like to have dinner with me?" His blue eyes pleaded with her. "I'd like to get to know you a little better."

"I'd like that. When?" She nervously ran her hand back and forth over her forehead.

"Tonight. How's six?"

"Sounds good," she smiled. "You can pick me up here. I live in the apartment upstairs."

"You're amazing, you know that?" Matthew said, as he walked out.

Alexis ran her hands through her light brown hair and smiled confidently as she strutted over to John and Mary. "So, John, what's wrong with him?"

"What do you mean, Lex?"

"John, he's gorgeous, polite, and extremely nice. What's wrong with him?"

"Nothing that I know of. I swear. From what I understand, he's on the up and up. The Governor introduced us a few weeks ago. Matthew Garris and his ex-partner received the Medal of Honor a few years ago. Matthew traveled around after making captain. I guess he isn't quite as happy as he used to be when he was just a regular marine. He's trying to find a place to call home," John smiled. "You like him, don't you?"

"Yeah, from what I know right now, I think I do."

"Lex, it's OK. I know you haven't been happy. Please, at least see how this turns out with Matthew. He doesn't have to be a cop to make you happy. Besides, he's better than a cop. He's a Marine," John laughed. "Give yourself a chance to be happy."

"I'm going to pretend that you didn't say that," Alexis smiled. "But I'll give him a chance, as well as myself. Yes, I definitely will."

Alexis answered the door and there stood Matthew. "I hope I'm not too early," he said. He gazed at her in her black dress. "Wow, you look great."

She smiled. "Yeah, quite a difference from my uniform," she laughed. "You look great yourself. Your uniform cleans up nice."

He smiled. "Well, the other one's at the cleaners. John told me that you like uniforms."

"I'll have to kill him for that," she smiled. "Come on in. Let me just finish getting ready."

Matthew walked in and looked around her apartment. "This is a really nice place. Not what you would expect being over a diner."

Alexis finished putting on her shoes and smiled. "Well, it wasn't my idea. My attorney, Jason, thinks he's my father. So, he had this placed furnished for me."

Matthew sat down on the sofa. "You're really beautiful, you know that."

"Thank you," she focused on the floor as if she were embarrassed.

He touched her face with his finger and brought her eyes to meet his. "Alexis, you're beautiful. Please don't worry, I won't hurt you."

"I'm not worried," she said hesitantly.

"Alexis, may I kiss you?"

She nodded slightly. He pulled her head into a warm, soft sensual kiss. She pulled away slowly. "I'm sorry, but I can't go any further than that," she stood up quickly.

"Alexis," Matthew stood up and placed his hands on her bare shoulders. "I'm not asking you to. I have to admit, I haven't ever been in a serious relationship. The last relationship I had was with my best friend, JC. We grew up together and then enlisted in the Marines. There haven't been any women in my life in a very long time."

"I'm kind of new at this, too," she turned to him. "I just can't sleep with you tonight," she ran her hands over his shoulders. "I'd like to, but I don't want us to start out like that. I've made that mistake too many times."

"I understand. Alexis, what do you really want out of life?"

"I should ask you first. You're the one who's traveling around the country. Are you going to leave here?"

"Not if I have a reason to stay."

"What would be a good enough reason?" Her eyes lit up as she smiled.

"You. You would be a good enough reason," he sat back down on the sofa.

"You would give up everything, just to stay here, because of me?" She sat next to him.

"I wouldn't be giving anything up. I'm a lonely man. What's left of my family and friends is back in Arizona. I thought that I wanted to explore the country, but now that I've met you, I feel connected to you somehow. I can't explain it."

Alexis touched his cheek. "Matthew, do you have dreams?"

"Yeah, I guess I do. What are your dreams, Alexis?"

"To be happy and to live out my written life."

"Your written life?" he stroked her cheek.

"Yeah. The life that I was destined to live. What's written is the life that makes you happy."

"I completely understand, and I'd like that, too," he stood up and took her hand. "Are you ready for dinner?"

"Yes," she followed him out.

###  2

ALEXIS STARED AT the bars and cried. "If only things were still that simple," she sat up, walked over to the bars, and stared at Walter at his post. "Walter, can I get out of here and stretch my legs?"

"What do you mean?"

"Since I had the surgeries, they let me out a few times a day to walk around the corridor to stretch my legs. You can call and verify if you want."

"Don't worry about it, Alexis," he walked over and unlocked her cell door. "Just stay in this area."

"Not that I could go anywhere else," she muttered. "Do you know when I can see Emily?"

"I put in a call to the Sheriff. He'll contact her through your attorney. Hopefully, tomorrow she'll be able to come and visit."

"Thank you. She's the only one I have left," Alexis continued her walk around the corridor. "That is, if she doesn't hate me."

"Alexis, are you all right?" Walter asked her.

"Considering everything. Yeah, I'm fine," she continued her walk without saying another word. When she was tired, she went back into her cell and lay down. "Walter?"

He walked over and unlocked the cell. "What is it, Alexis?"

"How does life just die?"

"I don't know what you mean, Alexis."

"Oh, nothing, don't worry about it. I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself," she put her arm over her face as he walked away.

"Alexis, Love. Come on. Wake up."

Alexis rolled over and gazed into Matthew's eyes. "What are you doing here so early?"

"I wanted to give these to you," he handed her a bouquet of thirteen roses. Twelve were red and there was a single white rose in the center.

"What's this for?"

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry," she sat up and touched his face. "Sorry for last night."

"Matthew, I completely understand. If you want to wait, I have no problems with it," she smelled the roses. "What's the white one for?" she smiled.

"That's the "I'm sorry" rose. The others are just, well, something," he grinned.

"What do you mean something?" Her eyes lit up.

He took her hand and led her out of bed. "I want, no, I need to tell you something. Come with me please," he whispered softly.

She put her robe on and followed him into the living room. "Matthew, is something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong. I just need to tell you."

"Matthew, just say it. Whatever's on your mind, please just say it."

"Alexis, Love," he set her on the sofa and stroked her cheek. "Yes, that's exactly it. I, um, well, I love you."

She smiled brightly. "You do?"

"Yes, I think that I fell in love with you the minute you poured coffee on my lap. Yes, I love you."

"Matthew, I love you, too," her lips trembled slightly.

"And I was so nervous," he whispered.

"Baby, you never have to be nervous with me. Whatever's on your mind, you have to tell me. Yes, I do love you, very much. More than you can imagine."

He fumbled in his pants pocket. "Um, Love, do you love me enough to marry me?"

"Marry you?"

"Yes, I want you to become my wife. I want you to be Mrs. Matthew Garris. I love you so much and I never want to lose you."

"Oh, Matthew," she cried. "I'd love to marry you."

He pulled out the ring box from his pocket and handed it to her.

She smiled as she opened the box. "Oh, it's so beautiful."

"It's not as fancy as you deserve, but—"

"I love it. It's beautiful. Will you put in on my finger?" she asked, as she gazed at the one-carat diamond ring.

He slowly slid the ring on her finger and kissed it once it was properly in its place. "I love you."

"And I love you."

Alexis sat up and looked around the dark room. "Walter?"

He walked over to the cell. "What's wrong?"

"Just wondered what time it was. It's so dark in here."

"Well, I shut down the lights, so you could sleep."

"Thanks."

"Are you any better?" he asked.

"A little. It's just so hard to sit in here and wait for my fate."

"Try and get more sleep. Good night, Alexis," Walter walked back to his office and lay down on his cot.

Alexis lay back down. "Oh, Matthew. Stay with me forever, please," she whispered, as she fell back to sleep.

Alexis crossed her arms and turned her back. "Matthew, what do you want from me?"

"You, Alexis. All I want is you," his sad eyes pleaded with her. "You're not happy like this. You never were."

She turned around and faced him. "But, my parents. I can't let go of them. This is all theirs. I can't let it go," she dropped on the lawn.

Matthew sat next to her. "Love, are you happy with all of this?"

"This? This what?" she cried. "This is my parent's house. This stuff is theirs. I can't just let it go."

He put his arm around her. "Your parents have been dead for over fifteen years, Love."

She stood up. "Don't you think I know that?" She snapped.

"Love, think about it. Who were your parents?"

She rubbed her forehead back and forth with her hand. "They were the most loving people I knew. I love them so much. I miss them terribly."

He hugged her tightly. "I know you do. But, Love, think about it. We'll be starting a new life together. Holding on to these things, these things that you never use, doesn't bring your parents back."

"I guess you're right. I never come here, anyway. The house is so big. I never use the yacht or the planes. I don't even go to the island. I guess my dad liked his toys. He was such a good man."

"It's still up to you. These are your things now, but these are not who you are."

"Oh, Matthew. I'm sounding like a spoiled brat, aren't I?"

"No."

"You hate it because I have so much money, don't you?"

"I love you, very much. Rich or poor, I'd still love you. My heart melted the minute I looked into your eyes. I knew I had to spend the rest of my life with you."

She kissed him softly. "I'll sell all of this," she smiled. "After we get married, I want to take you someplace special for our honeymoon, and then, after that, all the toys go. I promise."

Alexis rolled over in her cot and buried her head under her pillow as she cried. "Oh, Matthew. For the rest of your life."

"Alexis, come on, Love. I have a surprise for you," Matthew smiled as he grabbed her arm. He pulled her close into a kiss. "How does it feel to be Mrs. Matthew Garris?"

"I love it. Say it again, please," she kissed him tenderly.

"Mrs. Garris," he touched her face. "Now, before we head off on our honeymoon, I have a surprise for you," he led her to the car.

"Oh, Matthew, I can't wait. Please, tell me what it is."

"Not until we get there," he started the car and drove out of the parking lot of the reception hall.

"Our wedding was beautiful, wasn't it?" Alexis sighed.

"Yes, it was. I'm so glad that Emily moved up here. I really missed her. I just wish JC could've made it."

"Baby, I'm sure he's a busy man. You did say that he was married now. Right?"

"Yeah, I hope he's as happy as I am. JC's a great guy. He's the greatest guy in the entire world."

"Yes, Baby, I'm sure he is, but, you are the best," she laid her head on his shoulder.

He pulled over to the side of the road and took her face in his hand. "Alexis, my love, you've made all my dreams come true. I was lost until I met you. These past few months have meant the world to me. I want you to know how much I love and will always love you. Though, it's for the rest of our lives, death won't stop us either. You've given me so much. Your love, patience, and understanding. I know how you've wanted to make love before our wedding night, but I know we'll both be glad that we waited."

"Matthew, all I want is to be with you for the rest of my life. I love you so much. I know why you wanted to wait and I know that we'll cherish our first night together."

"Love, please close your eyes, I have a gift for you."

"Matthew, just being your wife is my gift."

"This is in return for you helping me get the 'Shop' up and running," he laughed slightly.

"Shop? Baby, it's a twenty-story building. The Garris Engineering Foundation is not a shop," she kissed him.

"Whatever you say, Love," he patted her hand. "Now, close your eyes," she closed her eyes and he pulled into the road. Down the street, he drove into a parking lot. "OK, Love, open your eyes."

Alexis opened her eyes and stared at the building. She quickly got out of the car. Matthew walked over and wrapped his arms around her. "What do you think?"

"This is mine?" she cried.

"It's yours. The A&M Gift shop. It was your dream to open one up. We're partners in it, as with everything, but, yes, Love, it's yours."

She hugged him tightly. "I can't believe you did this. I love you so much."

"Well, there's some work to do inside, but I think we can have it up and running in about two months."

"Really? Only two months," she kissed him again.

"Yup. When we get back from our honeymoon, you can start putting your sketches together. You'll have the gift shop of your dreams," he led her back to the car, and opened the door for her. "Now that you've seen your gift, what do you say we get this honeymoon started?"

"Oh, most definitely."

When they arrived at the airport, they got on Alexis' private plane. She looked over at Matthew sitting across from her. "I know that you don't like it when I use these toys, but I figured we have access to them and our honeymoon's so important."

"Love, as long as I'm with you, nothing else matters. I don't usually like private planes, but it's taking us to somewhere special. I'm fine with it."

"The island isn't much, but it'll be totally private. The press doesn't even know about this place. No worries, Matthew, it'll be just you and me. I promise."

"Last time, right, Love?" Matthew's eyes sparkled at her.

"Yes, sweetheart. It goes up for sale, the minute we get back."

"Love, are you sure about all this?"

"Matthew, you were right, as always. I was holding on to these things because of my parents. Besides, I'd rather have cash accounts. It's easier to donate. Jason will take care of everything."

"I know. He does act like your father, doesn't he?"

"Yeah, but he means well. I know he doesn't like everything that I'm doing with Mom's money, but I didn't earn it."

"Love, you did give some of it to me for the shop," he sat next to her.

"Yes, but that was an investment of trust. I invested in your business because I totally, whole-heartedly trust you."

"And I trust you."

Alexis stared out the window and wondered what she ever did to deserve being happy. But it didn't matter. Matthew makes her extremely happy. "Looks like we'll be landing soon," she held on to Matthew tightly. "Are you ready to really be my husband?" She flirted.

"More than anything."

Alexis led Matthew into the bungalow and opened the door. "So, what do you think?"

"Alexis, it's beautiful. I've never been on a private island before."

"It's nice and peaceful. I like it because you're here with me," she ran her hands over his chest. "Matthew, I think I've waited long enough. Don't you?" She kissed him tenderly all over his face.

"Oh, I think so," he returned her kisses and slowly unzipped her dress, letting it fall gracefully to the floor.

She led him over to the bed that was surrounded by white candles and red roses. She helped him remove his jacket. "I love you so much," she whispered, as she unbuttoned his shirt.

"Alexis, my love, let me show you how much I love you," he pulled her slip straps down her shoulders and caressed her arms gently as he kissed her chest. Slowly, he laid her on the bed. He ran his hands softly down her legs as he removed her stockings.

She slowly pulled his belt off and unzipped his pants. He stepped out of them and lay on top of her. "Oh, Love," he whispered.

She pulled his face close to hers and kissed him softly. She ran her hands down his back and she pulled him closer to her. Then she wrapped her legs around his strong body and held him close. Slowly and gently, he made love to her for the first time.

"Alexis! Time to eat!" Walter shouted.

Alexis jumped up. "Why'd you yell?"

"Sorry. I've been trying to get your attention for the last 10 minutes."

Alexis looked around her cell. "Oh, sorry. I must've been somewhere else," she said, standing up.

"Where were you?"

"Far, far away. A time when Matthew was still alive," she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Why don't you come out here and eat at the table," Walter offered.

"Are you sure? I usually eat in my cell."

"Yes, I have to eat, too, you know. I don't like eating alone."

Alexis slowly walked into the corridor and sat at the table that stood against the wall. She started eating her food slowly. Walter sat next to her. "So, Matthew, um, he's your husband?" he asked.

"What?" She looked at him. "Oh, yeah, Matthew. He was killed, but, yes, he was my husband."

"I'm sorry. It must be hard."

"It is, and being in here only makes it worse," Alexis stared at the wall in front of her. "Much worse."

"I wish I could help you, but I don't know what to do for you."

"Walter, you're just a corrections officer. It's your job to make sure I don't cause any problems. But don't worry, I won't. I really want to see Emily."

"Is there anyone else?"

"I'd like to see Greg Shapone, but I don't think he's forgiven me. It was his wife that I killed."

"Oh," Walter said. "Wasn't that self-defense?"

"Dead is dead. I killed her and she's dead. It doesn't matter how or why, just that it happened," she muttered.

"I'm sorry I brought it up," he finished up his soup. "Alexis, would you like something to read? I know it's not much, but there's a whole collection of different kinds of books."

"Sure, why not. It's not like I have anything else better to do."

"What are you interested in?"

"Anything you got, I'll read. There's not much else to do around here."

Walter smiled at her. "Well, I personally like this book, _William Shakespeare's Book of Sonnets_ , here you go," he handed her the book.

"Oh, this is your personal copy. I couldn't do that."

"Alexis, I want you to have it."

"Are you sure?" Alexis smiled.

"Just seeing you smile, makes giving it to you worthwhile," he touched her cheek and quickly pulled away. He led her back into her cell and she began to read the book.

### 3

SHE LOOKED UP at the photo that she had taped to her cell wall. There they were, the six of them, Matthew, herself, John, Mary, Greg, and Amanda, posing without a care in the world. She pulled the photo down and stared at it. "I'm sorry, Greg," she started to cry. "I never meant for you to get hurt by all of this. This should've never happened," she placed the photo on her chest and began reading the book. She had hoped that reading would take her mind off the fact that her friends were dead.

Alexis woke up the next morning with the photo still lying on her chest. She picked it up and book marked her page with it. She looked around and noticed that Walter was just sitting outside her cell in a chair. "Walter, why are you sitting there?"

"Alexis, you tossed and turned all night. I sat here so that I'd hear you if there were a problem."

"If I tossed and turned, why was my picture still on my chest when I woke up?" she asked.

"It had fallen on the floor, so I picked it up and put it back once you calmed down."

"Oh, well, thank you," she walked over to the door. "Are you guarding me 24/7 or is there a replacement guard?"

"Oh, don't worry about me. I'm here about 20/7. I have four one-hour breaks. At that time, Capshaw comes in."

"Oh, as long as it's not Officer Robbins," she said.

"Tom? Why?"

"Sorry if he's your friend, but when he arrested me, he smelled really, really bad."

Walter laughed. "Yeah. It's a smell you never get used to. He's allergic to soaps and perfumes," Walter walked over to his office and answered the phone. A few minutes later, he opened the cell door. "Alexis, your attorney, Mr. Abrams, is here."

"OK, thanks," she said.

He led her to the outer visitation room and hand cuffed her to the table. "I'm sorry, but regulations state that protective prisoners need to be cuffed during visits."

"Don't worry, Walter. I'm used to it," she said sadly.

Walter stood by the door as Jason Abrams walked in. "Alexis, honey, how are you doing?" Jason said. "Oh, cuffs? Is that really necessary, officer?" he asked Walter.

"Jason, don't worry about it. What's so important that you needed to see me this morning?" Alexis asked.

Jason's hands shook as he set down his briefcase and sat across from Alexis. "I have some papers that need your signature," his voice was deep and confident. It didn't seem to fit his actual age of 60.

"Jason, I'm a ward of the state. My signature's pretty much worthless," she sighed.

"No, Alexis. There are some issues you need to be aware of. I didn't want to tell you, but now I have no choice."

"Jason, what is it?"

"Well, with the lawsuit, all your assets are frozen."

"Yes, I know that."

"But, I was looking over the finances for the gift shop and if you add Emily as a partner, it can continue operation. She can retain her profits, but yours and Matthew's, oh, I'm sorry."

"What about mine and Matthew's?"

"Well, currently they're frozen because of the suit. However, since the partnership was also a marriage, you inherit Matthew's portion of the profits. Those automatically go into a trust account. Mr. Shapone and his attorneys can't touch those."

"Jason, I don't care anymore. I know they can't touch anything of Matthew's, even the life insurance, but I don't want the gift shop to go downhill."

"Alexis, sign these papers and all will be taken care of."

"What exactly will be taken care of?"

"We'll go to court for the wrongful death suit. Just sign here."

Alexis took his hand. "No, Jason. _Settle_."

"Alexis, we can win this. Remember she killed Matthew. You shouldn't have to pay for that."

"Jason, I'm already paying for that. Yes, she killed Matthew and I killed her. Just settle with Greg. I want this whole thing over with."

"What's the number?"

"Ten million. Offer him 10 million."

"Are you sure? That much?"

"John, I killed his wife. Yes, she turned psycho, but she's dead nonetheless," Alexis took a deep breath. "Just do it. If he's smart, he'll take the money. I haven't seen him since that night. I can only imagine how much he hates me. Just give it to him. Everything can be over and done with."

"Well, you know if you settle, your other assets will be unfrozen, and you can be released on bail."

"No, Jason. The trial starts in a few weeks or so unless there's something I don't know about. Is there?"

"No, everything's still on schedule. Jury selection will begin shortly."

"Good. I'll stay in here. I'm away from other prisoners and the guard's halfway decent. I'm fine. I'd rather it be like this. Only, I wish that Emily could visit."

"Didn't you hear? She's coming in tomorrow to see you."

"Oh, good," Alexis leaned back as far as she could while still being cuffed. "Does she hate me?"

"Has she ever hated you?" Jason asked.

"No," Alexis put her head down.

"Then there's your answer," Jason touched her hand. "It's OK, Alexis. You don't have to be strong for me."

"I'm sorry about the problems I've caused for you," Alexis cried.

"What problems? Alexis, since the day you were born, I swore to your parents that I'd always look out for you and that is what I'm doing."

"I know, Jason. I know that they think I tried to escape from the hospital, but I had to go to the funeral. I needed to say good-bye."

"Alexis, there wasn't any escape charges filed. You weren't actually arrested until they found you at the funeral home, so they can't charge you with that," Jason looked at his watch. "I do have to go. Please take care of yourself. I'll see you next Friday, so that we can prepare for the jury selection."

Alexis nodded as Jason walked out. Walter walked over, uncuffed her hands, and led her back to her cell. Alexis lay down on the cot and closed her eyes.

Matthew walked into the gift shop. "Love, I'd like you to meet someone," he called.

Alexis walked out of the back room. "Oh, right now? I look horrible. I've been doing inventory for three hours straight," she said, as she fixed her hair.

"This is Greg and his wife, Amanda. They just moved in next door to us."

"Nice to meet you," Alexis shook Greg's hand.

His soft brown eyes lit up as he grasped her hand. "Nice to meet you. This is my wife, Amanda," he put his arm around Amanda.

"Hi, Alexis," Amanda said softly. "This is a great place that you have here."

"Thanks, Emily and I run it together. She's Matthew's sister."

"Sounds nice," Amanda said, as she looked around the shop. "It's really nice in here."

"Thanks. We work hard, but we like what we do," Alexis said.

"Oh, why do you work? I know that you don't need to," Amanda asked.

"Shush, Amanda. That is none of our business," Greg said abruptly.

"I'm sorry," she put her head down.

"Don't worry about it. I guess I just don't understand the question. I work because I like working."

"I mean, well, we know who you are. Everyone knows who Alexis Garris is," Amanda smiled.

"Oh, well, yeah," Alexis glanced at Matthew who shrugged. "The money I inherited from my parents is primarily for donations and business corrections. The money from here is what I earned, so that's mine, and of course, Matthew's. He's my silent partner," she smiled slightly.

Greg smiled. "Don't mind my wife. She gets a little nosy at times," he put his arm around Amanda and pulled her close to him.

"We don't mind. Can't find out anything if you don't ask," Matthew said. "Well, if you two aren't busy or anything, you can come over tonight. Our friends, John and Mary, are coming over for dinner, feel free to join us."

"Sounds good, doesn't it, Greg?" Amanda asked for permission.

"Yes, I'd think we'd like that," he looked at his watch. "Well, Amanda, I have to get back to work and you need to finish up the laundry. We'll see you tonight," Greg took her hand and led her out.

Alexis looked at Matthew. "Did I see what I think I saw?"

"Yeah. You certainly did," he hugged her tightly. "I'd never do that to you."

"As if you could," she laughed and kissed him.

"Well, are you almost ready?" he asked.

"Ready for what?"

"I'd like to take you for a ride. Emily's here, right?"

"Yeah, she's in the back. Why?"

"Let her run the store this afternoon. I want to take my wife for a ride."

"A ride?"

"Yup. A ride. Oh, yeah. I forgot to show you something."

"Matthew, what did you do?"

"You'll see in a minute," he walked to the stock room.

Alexis became impatient and walked to the front door and looked outside. Matthew came back. "Hey, no peeking."

"Is that thing yours?" she asked, as she pointed out the window.

"Well, it's ours. I know I should've asked you first on how you felt about them, but I thought we could go for a ride."

"I've never been on one before."

"You've never been with a motor cop before?" he teased.

"Not funny. And, no, I haven't," she smirked. "Aren't they dangerous?"

"Not if you're careful. Besides, there's some place that I want to take you," he took her hand and led her out to his new motorcycle. "Hop on, Love, and hold on tight to me."

"Oh, definitely," she said nervously.

He revved up the engine on the bike and headed out of the parking lot. He rode for about a half hour and pulled down a dirt road. He stopped the bike at the end of the road.

"What are we doing here?" Alexis asked.

He turned toward her and held her in his arms. "I want us to have a place of our own."

"We do have a place."

"No, Love. We live in a house that Jason set up for us. After you sold the diner and the apartment, Jason gave us a house."

"I know. I'm sorry. I can't help how he treats me. He just wanted us to be happy and not have to worry about stuff like that."

"Love, I want us to have something of our own. Something we bought together. We have more than enough money from our businesses. I want us to buy this house."

She looked around. "Matthew, what house?"

He smiled and kissed her. "This one. Here follow me," he led her to the wide-open space of grass.

"Baby, did you get too much sun? There's no house there. All I see is grass and mountains."

"No, Love, picture it. I want to build us a house, right here. After all, I'm an engineer."

"I know but won't that take a while."

"No, with my connections, we can have our home built in about three weeks."

"You've got to be kidding," she wrapped her arms around him. "Matthew, are you sure this is what you want?"

"Love, what do you want?"

"This. You. All of it. I want you to be happy."

"Then we'll get started. I'd like one thing from you, though," he took her hands.

"What's that?"

"I'd like for you to design the inside," he kissed her cheek.

"Design? I'm not a designer."

"Love, whether you realize it or not, you've a great designing mind," he kissed her forehead. "Look at how you made your sketches come to life in the gift shop. I want this house to be yours and mine. If we build it together, it'll always be a part of us, and who we are," she sadly sat down on the ground. He sat next to her. "What's wrong, Love?"

"Nothing. It's great. I love it."

"Then, why are you so sad? Love, you can't hide your tears from me."

"I guess I'm just waiting," she sighed.

"Waiting for what?" he wrapped his arms around her.

"Something bad to happen."

"Why? I don't understand."

"It's just that we're so happy. Everything is going right for us. How long will that last? Matthew, I don't know what I'd ever do if I lost you."

"Love, I'm not going anywhere," he smiled.

"I know, I'm not either, but you never know what could happen. What if you died? What if I died? You know either one of us could get hit by a bus or something. What would we do then?"

He lay her down on the grass and leaned over her. "Love, we aren't going to die yet. We're still young. But, if something ever did happen to me, just promise me that you'll find a way to be happy. I don't want you to spend your life haunted by my ghost."

"Matthew, I don't know how I could live without you."

"You did it before we met. You deserve to be happy. I'm not going to die. But if, well, I did get hit by a bus or something dramatic like that, I want you to be happy. Just know that I'll always look out for you, no matter where you are or where I am. But in life, Love, you need to be happy."

She kissed him. "OK, then, what if I got hit by a bus?"

"I'd throw myself under it along with you," he smiled.

"Oh, no. If I died, you have to promise to do the same thing."

"I will. But enough about that. We're alive, Love. Let's make the most of being alive and happy," he brushed her hair with his hand. "I love you so much.

"And I love you," she looked at him. "Are we alone?"

He looked around. "Yeah. Love, no one lives within a few miles of here. This is all ours."

"Good," she pulled him on top of her and started kissing him all over.

"Here?" he whispered.

"Well, this is our new home. Might as well break it in right," she flirted as she kissed him again.

"Get out of my head!" she cried. "Get out! Please!"

Walter ran over to cell. "Alexis, what's wrong?"

"He won't leave me," she cried.

Walter opened the cell and sat next to her on the bed. "Please, tell me. Who won't leave you?"

"Matthew. I can't get him out of my head. He's here. He's been dead for a few months now and he still won't leave," she laid her head on his shoulder.

Walter put his arm around her. "It's OK. He must've loved you so much."

She looked at him as tears streamed down her face. "Yes, he did, and I loved him."

"That's why you're thinking about him. Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"I can't," she whispered. "It's bad enough that I have to live it all over again during the trial."

"Finally got a date, huh?"

"Yeah," she rubbed her forehead back and forth with her hand. "It seemed to take forever. Everything takes forever. I just want to go to prison, so I can... die."

"You want to die in prison?"

"Well, I can't do it here. You wouldn't let me," she sighed. "Yes, I don't want to live with the pain anymore. My husband is dead, what would've been our child is dead, and my two best friends are dead."

"I'm sorry, Alexis. How long were you in the hospital?"

"One week. Actually, it was off and on. I was in the infirmary here for a while," she sighed. "They arrested me after I sneaked out of the hospital to attend the funerals. They transferred me here after my last surgery. So, I've been sitting in here for about four months and now, they put you on me."

"Well, the closer you get to trial, the more they want to make sure you're protected."

"No, they want to make sure I don't kill myself before the trial is over. What good's a dead heiress if she can't stand trial?"

"What's that heiress thing about?"

"Don't worry about it. My parents were rich. Dead now, so I got their money. No big deal."

"I'm sorry if I bothered you," Walter stood up.

"No, that's OK. I guess being in jail does a lot to one's mind. I didn't used to be like this," she smiled slightly.

"I'm sure you weren't," he looked over to his office as the phone rang. "Um, excuse me," he walked over and answered the phone. He motioned for Alexis to stand up.

She stood up and walked out the cell door. "What is it?"

"Your sister-in-law's here. Emily Martino, right?"

"Yeah," she smiled sadly. "Here goes nothing."

Walter brought her to the visitor's room and cuffed her to the table. "Sorry," he whispered.

She held her breath as Emily walked into the room. Emily looked at Walter. "Can I hug her, please?"

Walter nodded, and Emily ran over to Alexis and wrapped her arms around her. "Oh, Alexis. Are you OK?"

Alexis started to cry. "Oh, Em. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

Emily sat down next to her. "Why are you sorry? None of this was your fault," Emily touched Alexis' hands.

"I'm so sorry."

"Stop, Alexis. Please. I would've been here sooner, but they wouldn't let me visit you."

"I know. Only Jason has been here," she sighed. "Have you seen Greg?"

Emily shook her head. "I know he's around, but I haven't talked with him."

"I never got to ask you before I was arrested, are the rings safe?" Alexis whispered.

Emily nodded. "Yes, both yours and Matthew's rings are buried in his suit jacket pocket. I placed them there myself."

Alexis smiled as she stared at her naked finger. "Good."

"Alexis, why didn't you want to keep those?"

"Well, Em, I can't wear them in here, and I definitely don't want to bring them to prison with me, so, they're in the best place they can be."

"Why do you think you're going to prison?"

Alexis stood up abruptly. "I KILLED AMANDA, DON'T YOU GET IT!" She dropped back in the chair. "Oh, god, Em, I'm so sorry. I don't mean to yell at you."

"Alexis, don't worry about it. You're not going to prison. That bitch killed my brother, your husband. She deserved to die. You're not going to prison because she turned psycho."

"But I killed her."

"My brother loved you very much. You were so important to him. You still are. Even after death, he'll watch over you. He won't let you go to prison," she smiled. "I did something for you."

"What did you do?"

"I hired the Dix brothers. You remember, Mike and Mark. Well, Mark has been investigating the case."

"Em, he won't find anything that the police haven't."

"Maybe, maybe not, but it's worth a shot."

"I guess," Alexis started to cry. "Oh, god. I miss him so much. How could she do that to the most beautiful man in the entire world?"

"I don't know. Matthew was lost before he found you. I'm just glad that he got to share the last six years of his life with you."

"Em, six years is not long enough for a marriage."

"Nothing is ever long enough. Don't let the love for my brother leave your heart. Please, don't forget how much he loved you."

"I won't," she sighed. "Did you sell the house yet?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Alexis, you and Matthew built that house. I just can't get rid of it."

"It doesn't mean anything, anymore. Even if I got out of here, I couldn't live there again."

"If you really want me to sell it, I will."

"I don't know," Alexis cried. "Just wait, I guess. At least until the lawsuit is over, that way Greg can't get the house. It's still in Matthew's name. Greg can't touch Matthew's stuff."

"What about the gift shop?"

"Em, I'd still like for you to run it. I signed papers the other day. Jason added your name to the partnership. You can live off your profits."

"I can't do that. It's your dream."

"It was my dream. Please, Em, take care of it. I can't let it go, but I need your help to run it. Please, be my partner," she cried.

"For you and Matthew, I'll do it," Emily stood up. "I'm sorry, Alexis."

"I know, Em. So, am I," Alexis stood up and looked at Walter. "Walter, can I hug her, please?"

He walked over and unlocked the cuffs. Emily and Alexis embraced tightly as they cried.

"I'll see you at the trial. I'll be right behind you," Emily said.

"I know. You always are," Alexis turned and walked back to her cell, with Walter following.

He walked into her cell. "Alexis, are you OK?"

She looked up. "Um, yeah, Walter. I'm OK. It's just so hard to see her."

"I understand. If you need anything, just let me know," Walter said.

"OK. I'm just going to read for a little while," she picked up her book.

Walter locked the cell behind him and went back to his office.

### 4

ALEXIS TRIED TO concentrate on her book, but her mind just flooded with the events of Matthew's last birthday party.

She rolled over and held Matthew tightly. "Wake up, baby."

He opened his eyes and smiled at her. "Good morning, Love. What are you doing up so early? You're never up this early."

She kissed his mouth softly. "Well, I thought I'd give you your birthday present now."

"Oh, really?" he grabbed her and started kissing her.

"Yes, and it's not that," she smiled. She climbed out of bed and opened her bottom dresser drawer. She pulled out her jewelry box and opened the false bottom. She took out a long, thin box, closed the jewelry box, and put it back in the drawer.

"Hmm, so that's where it was," he laughed.

"Are you telling me that you snooped?" She sat down next to him.

"Yup," he grinned proudly.

"Hmm, maybe you don't deserve this," she teased.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't find it anyway," his eyes pleaded for his gift.

"Oh, all right," she kissed him and handed him the box. "Now, just remember, that I love you, so if you hate it, I understand."

"I won't hate it," he lifted the tape carefully as to not rip the wrapping paper.

"Come on, Matthew, open it."

"Patience, my love," he continued to remove the tape carefully. He pulled off the wrapping paper and folded it neatly. Finally, he opened the box and smiled. "Oh, my love, I love it."

"Do you really?" Her eyes lit up.

"Yes, where'd you get this?"

"I rummaged through your trunk from the service. I knew that you and JC had made these during basic training."

"You actually listened to me?" he laughed.

"I listen," she said. "Most of the time. But, yes, I know that you miss him. So, I had the cuff links welded together into the bracelet. Now, when you look at it, you'll see his initials, JCO, and yours, MLG, forever."

He smiled as he clasped the large silver chain around his wrist. "Thank you so much. You don't know how much this means to me."

"I can see it in your eyes. I wish that we knew where he was. I'd like to meet him. He sounds like a great man."

"He is. He's not as good looking as I am, but he's not bad," he teased.

"Oh, well, you're definitely good looking," she looked at him. "I still miss the uniform, though."

"Well, how about if I just pin one of my medals to my chest for you?" he teased.

"That's it," she slapped him playfully. "I was going to let you have your way with me, but now that you're teasing me, hmmm, I don't know."

"Oh, come on, Love. It's my birthday, after all," he smiled sheepishly.

"Join me in the shower?" She pulled him off the bed and led him into the bathroom.

"Happy birthday to me," he whispered, as they climbed in the shower.

Matthew went downstairs to the kitchen and Alexis pulled out the video camera. She joined Matthew and he handed her a cup of coffee. "What are you going to do with that?" he asked, point to the camera.

"Well, it's your 40th birthday. That's a big deal," she smiled. "I want us to remember it forever. Our best friends will be here, and I want us to always remember how happy we're right now."

"Oh, Alexis, I hate being on camera."

She smiled. "I know, but it's your first birthday in our new home. John, Mary, Greg, and Amanda will be here. I want to cherish it. You never know, they could move away, or something. Anything could happen."

"Oh, I'll only go along with it because I love you," he leaned over and kissed her softly. "By the way, Love."

"Yeah?"

"Showers are definitely the way to go."

She shook her head and smiled as she loaded the tape in the camera. She turned it on and focused it on Matthew.

"Come on, honey. Are you going to follow me all day with that thing?" asked Matthew.

"But you're so handsome. I love you and I want to cherish this day forever," Alexis said. A knock came from the door and she followed Matthew with the camera to answer it. There stood Mary and John.

"Are we late?" They asked.

"You're never late," Matthew said with a laugh.

"Well, I see we beat Greg and Amanda. They're the ones that are always late," John said.

"It's for the grand entrance, I expect," Alexis said, as she followed behind them into the backyard.

"Alexis, will you put that camera down," Matthew started walking closer to the camera.

"Not now. I'll put it down once Greg and Amanda get here," she said.

"Oh, all right," he laughed, as he walked over to the Barbeque grill. Alexis focused the camera on his rear end.

He turned around quickly. "Now you've gone and done it," he smiled as he ran toward her. He grabbed her and started to kiss her. She dropped the camera as he tickled her. John and Mary joined in the laughter.

She picked the camera back up as the doorbell rang. She ran to open the door. "Greg, Amanda, it's about time," Alexis laughed.

"It's not my fault, it's his!" Amanda sputtered.

"Don't mind her, she's in a mood," Greg said.

"Come on. Mandy, let's get you a glass of wine," Alexis said. She followed them out to the backyard with the camera.

Matthew went up, hugged Amanda, and shook Greg's hand. "OK, Alexis, you can put the camera down now."

Alexis put the camera down on the table, but left it recording. Alexis sat down at the table and picked up her glass of wine. She watched intently as Matthew tended to the grill. When she noticed the few bottles were almost empty, she got up from the table and went into the kitchen. As she opened the wine cooler, she turned around and noticed Greg standing behind her.

"What are you doing in here?"

"Alexis, I need to tell you something and I want to tell you now, before anyone walks in."

"You can tell me anything, what is it?"

"I-I-I'm in love with you," Greg stuttered.

"Yeah, right. You love Amanda. Is this one of your jokes? Because it's not very funny. If Matthew were to walk in right now, he'd—" She laughed slightly.

"It's not a joke. Alexis, I loved you since the day I laid eyes on you. How I've wanted to touch you."

"Greg, I'm going to pretend that you didn't say that."

"Why?

"What do you mean, why? Amanda's your wife and not to mention that I'm truly and deeply in love with my husband."

"I know. I love Amanda, but she's not you. I'm sorry. I guess I shouldn't have told you this way. But I know how you are with honesty."

"Greg, you're one of my closest friends and that will never stop. If you love me, just love me from a far and don't bring this up again. I don't want to lose our friendship or anyone else over this."

His eyes became sad. "If that's what you want, but I'm glad that I told you."

Greg left the kitchen and she took a deep breath. She grabbed a bottle of wine and headed outside. She looked around and smiled at Matthew as she filled up everyone's glass. "To our friendship. May it last forever."

Everyone raised a glass to the toast. They talked for a while, and then Amanda spoke. "So, what time are we leaving on Saturday?"

"I was thinking about five," Matthew said.

"Five A.M?" Alexis exclaimed.

"Yes, babe. Five A.M," They all laughed.

"Then it's settled," Greg spoke up. "I'll pack up my camper and pick you all up around five A.M."

"This camping trip's going to be great," Amanda said. "Totally unforgettable."

Alexis jumped up. "DAMN BITCH!" she yelled. She looked around her quiet and eerie cell. She picked up the Shakespeare book and pulled out the photograph. "Oh, god. How could this have happened? It's not fair. We were all so happy!" She held the photo to her chest and cried harder. "How could she do this to us, to all of us?"

Walter opened her cell door and sat next to her. "Alexis, what is it?"

She wiped her eyes as they pleaded with him. "Walter," she whispered. "Make the pain go away."

He gently stroked her face. "How can I do that?" he spoke softly.

She moved closer to him and pulled his head toward hers. "Just make the pain go away," she kissed him softly on the mouth.

He pulled away slowly. "I wish I could, but—"

"Please, no one is ever around. It's just you and me. Please, make it go away. I just need to feel, feel something besides the pain."

He gently wiped the tears from her face and kissed her softly on the mouth. He ran his hands tenderly up and down her back. Slowly, they lay down on the cot. He helped her remove her orange jumpsuit and tenderly caressed her chest. She reached up and fondled the gold badge that rested on his chest. She ran her hands up and down his uniform. One by one, she unbuttoned his shirt.

He stood up for a moment and placed his utility belt outside the cell. He touched her hands and kneeled next to her. "Are you really sure?" he whispered.

"Walter, yes," her sad eyes drew him to her. He took his shirt off and leaned over her. She unzipped his pants and ran her hands all over his strong, husky body.

He held her in his arms tightly. He kicked off his pants and lay down on the cot. He ran his hands over her body and kissed her softly on the mouth. "I do so want you," he whispered.

She ran her hands down his muscular arms and kissed him on his chest. Slowly, he made love to her. Finally, she could feel, feel something other than pain. Walter was so gentle and loving, it felt almost real.

He touched her face and kissed her softly on the mouth. "I'm sorry."

She sat up and rubbed his beard gently. "Why are you sorry?"

"Legally, I shouldn't do this," he said, as he pulled on his pants.

"I know. But, I wanted to. I should've never put you in that position," she smiled slightly.

He shook his head as he buttoned his shirt. "As a man, I don't regret it. You're a beautiful woman. Anyone in man in his right mind would want you. I do so want you and it was, well, unbelievable. But as a cop, as your guard, I shouldn't have done it."

"Walter, all I can say is thank you. I haven't felt loved since Matthew. I'm sorry. I just needed it. I needed something," she looked down as she pulled on her jumpsuit. "I haven't been that kind of person in a really long time."

"What kind of person's that?"

"Sex driven," she smiled.

"I don't think that you're sex driven. You just need to feel loved."

"I guess."

"And did you?"

"Yes, Walter, you're such a gentle man. You made me feel like a sexual woman."

He sat down next to her. "Can I ask you something?"

"Well, considering we just had sex. Yeah. Go ahead."

"You ran your fingers over my badge. I never had anyone do that before," he smiled.

She covered her eyes with embarrassment. "I like shiny things," she laughed slightly. "No, actually, I've been known to have a weakness for a man in uniform. But, I think it's more about the shiny badges or the way they rest on the chest. I can't explain it. It's just something that makes my, well, go a little crazy. I can't believe I said that."

He smiled. "That's quite OK. Was your husband a cop?"

She shook her head. "He was a decorated Marine," she smiled.

"Shiny medals, huh?"

"Yeah," she stood up and walked over to the bars. "I don't know what it is about them. The uniform, itself, is so attractive. My first crush was on private school security guard. He was so attractive in that uniform and he wore a badge on his chest. It's weird, I know, but I just find something about it so appealing," she smiled and hugged the cell bars. "Walter, how come it's so easy with you?"

He stood up behind her. "I don't know what you mean by easy."

She turned and looked at him. "Ever since this all started, I haven't talked to anyone about anything. You're just so easy to talk to and, if you weren't, I wouldn't have, well, you know."

He placed his hand on her shoulder and kissed her softly. "Alexis, we can't ever do this again, at least while you're in here."

"I know," she nodded.

"I've a lot that I want to say to you, but I can't while you're in here. Please, don't let this get out. Don't tell anyone. I could lose my badge for this."

"Walter, I'd never jeopardize your job. This is between you and me. No one has to know. I swear. It's just between you and me."

"Good," he looked at his watch. "Well, you better get some rest. Your lawyer will be here in the morning," he kissed her cheek, locked the cell, and picked up his utility belt.

She watched as he walked over to his office. "No worries, Walter. I won't tell a soul, but thank you for saving mine," she whispered, as she closed her eyes.

### 5

WALTER UNLOCKED HER cell and led her to the visitation room.

"What? No cuffs?" she asked.

"Not today, Alexis," he smiled at her as she sat down.

Jason came into the room and placed his briefcase on the table. "Alexis, how are you doing?"

"A little better today," she smiled.

"Well, something about you is certainly different. You seem a little more, I don't know, calm today."

"Just a good night sleep," she said. "So, what do we do now?"

He opened his briefcase. "We have to go over the procedure for the jury selection and your testimony."

"My testimony?" Alexis asked. "I'm not testifying."

"Alexis, normally I wouldn't ask a defendant to testify on their own behalf, but you were the only one that was there. Greg showed up later, remember?"

"Jason, I don't know what happened after she stabbed me. I don't remember. I know that she's dead and that I killed her. I just don't remember."

He touched her hand. "Alexis, you don't deserve to go to prison."

"You talked with Emily, didn't you?"

"Yes, Honey, I did. You're going to be set free. It was self-defense."

"Jason, I hit her 20 times in the head with a cast iron pan. How in the hell's that self-defense?"

"Let me worry about stuff like that. All you have to do is testify about what you remember. That's it."

"Jason, what if I screw up on the stand?"

"I'll be there to protect you. I swear. You're not going to prison. John and I will protect you."

"Your brother John?" She smiled.

"Yes. He's better at these things. I'll sit with you, but he'll handle the questioning."

"I'll do whatever you want. I'm sure that the press just loves this."

"Well, yeah. They kind of do. But, you have to realize that you'll never be able to live without your preexisting reputation. Even though you went from a Rossi to a Garris, everyone knows who you are. Honey, this case is nationwide."

"Oh, you've got to be kidding."

"No, I'm not."

Alexis looked up at Walter. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" he asked.

"That I'm a freak show in the news."

"Because you're not," he stood his post and smiled.

Alexis looked at Jason. "Do you have the book with you?" she asked.

"What book?"

"You know what book, Jason," she glared at him. "You did follow my instructions, didn't you?"

"Yes, I added all the clippings to your photo album. You don't need to see it."

"I want to see it."

"Alexis, I don't have it with me. It's still at your house. I've been keeping an eye on it. You and Matthew did have a lot of valuables."

"Not really. The only thing valuable in the house was us," Tears streamed down her face. "Jason, I want everything in the house gone."

"No, Alexis. You can't do this. When you get out of here, you'll need to go home. That's your home."

She stood up and slammed her fist on the table. "Damn it, Jason! That house is Matthew's house. It's not home because he's not there. He's DEAD!" She dropped to the floor. "He's dead. Gone forever," she cried.

Jason and Walter picked her up off the floor and sat her down. "Alexis, I won't sell anything until you go back to the house. At least get the things you want to keep. After that, if you still want it sold, I'll sell it for you."

"I'm sorry, Jason. This wasn't supposed to be my life. My life was not written out like this. This is just a mess. How can life start out so beautifully and end like this?"

"Your life's not going to end. You'll be free again. You'll be outside soon."

"I don't want to live anymore, Jason."

"Alexis, yes, you do. Matthew would want you to live your life. Think about Matthew, do what he wants you to," Jason leaned over the table and kissed her cheek. "I'll see you Monday morning at the courthouse."

"Oh, Jason, what about the jury selection stuff?"

"Oh, yeah. Basically, you sit there at the defense table while each attorney interviews the jury. We pick the good ones," he stood up. "Alexis, everything will be fine," he headed toward the door.

"Jason, I'm sorry."

He looked at her. "I know, Alexis. I know," he left.

Alexis walked over to Walter. "Take me back to my cell, please."

He led her through the doorway and to her cell. "Alexis, are you OK?"

"No, Walter. I'm afraid," she sat down on her cot and curled her legs up against her chest.

"What are you afraid of?"

"Reliving that night," she buried her face in her knees. "I can't go through that again. I don't want to lose them all over again."

"Alexis, I can't begin to understand that pain that you're going through, but if it'll help to set you free, you need to do it."

"I know, but it still hurts."

"Alexis, you talk about Matthew and the pain of losing him, but didn't you lose your friends, too?"

"Yeah, John and Mary Reardon. They were my best friends in the whole world," she smiled. "Johnny and I grew up together. We attended the same private school. It was co-ed," she laughed.

"You smiled," he noticed.

"Yeah. I guess I did. I've been sitting here mourning Matthew because I loved him so much. But I miss John and Mary, too. They died because they were in the wrong place."

"How were they as friends? I mean I know that you're going through a lot. You have to deal with your grief here in jail. Why don't you tell me about them? Celebrate and share their lives with me."

"You really want to hear the stories?" she asked.

"We're in here together," he smiled as he patted her leg. "Tell me about John and Mary."

Alexis leaned against the wall and smiled. She closed her eyes and shared her memories with Walter.

"Mary, come on. John's waiting for you," Alexis called.

"I'm coming. Hold on," she ran out of the bathroom. "Do I look OK?"

"Mary, you look beautiful. I always knew that John had great taste."

Mary smiled. "I love him so much, Lex."

"I know you do. He loves you, too," Alexis hugged her. "It's not every day that the Governor marries people."

"Well, you know, John's his number one bodyguard," Mary laughed.

"Yeah. Does the gun ever bother you?" Alexis asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, has he ever tried to like, lay on you, with his gun still on?"

"Oh, yeah. Hurts like hell," Mary laughed.

"Come on. He's waiting for you down the hall," Alexis took her hand.

"Lex, it'll happen for you, too," Mary stopped her.

"What do you mean?"

"You'll find someone."

"Mary, I'm not looking."

"Taking a break from cop bars?" Mary joked.

"Very funny. I only dated, well, about six cops."

"Oh, only six, huh?"

"Well, yeah. It never works out. They're fun for a while, but there has to be more than the uniform."

"You mean, you make them wear the uniform?"

"Oh, yeah. Wouldn't be the same any other way," Alexis laughed.

"You've got to be kidding," Mary slapped her playfully.

"I've just got to figure out what I want out of life. What I really want out of a man. It can't be just based on attraction. However, that would be a great start," she put her arm around Mary. "But, we need to go now. John hates to be kept waiting."

"I know. I guess I'm a little nervous."

"About what?"

"Well, John's rich, too. I'm not. I'm just a waitress at your diner."

"Mary, John loves you. He's not really rich. His parents got a large sum of money from his grandparents. That's what they used to pay for his school. And even if he was rich, he's just like me. We both work for a living because we like being regular people."

"So, I'm regular people?"

"That's not what I meant."

"Lex, my parents work hard, but they're far from rich."

"I know. Money doesn't make or break a person, Mary. It's OK. It's all about what a person is inside. You and John are the most beautiful people I've ever met."

Mary hugged Alexis. "Thanks, honey."

Together they walked down the hall and into the Governor's office. Mary took John's hand and Alexis stood in between them, as they were married.

Alexis looked at Walter's face. "Am I boring you yet?"

He shook his head. "No, Alexis, you're not. Your face lights up when you talk about them. You're replaying that moment in your head, aren't you?"

"Yeah. I almost forgot all about the day they got married. They were so happy, just starting out their life."

"You dated six cops?" he chuckled.

"Yes, yes, yes," she smiled slightly. "I dated six cops. Well, they were all State Troopers. Then I didn't date anyone for over a year."

"Then you met Matthew?"

"Yeah. I met Matthew."

"If you don't mind me asking, what was he like? You've told me that he used to be a Marine, but what was he like?"

She sighed heavily. The past few days all she thought about were memories of Matthew. She smiled gently. "Matthew was loving and kind."

"Is there anything about him that drove you a little crazy?"

"Well, I guess. Everyone has their little quirks," she laughed.

"What were Matthew's?"

"Well, it wasn't that it drove me crazy, but whenever he apologized, even if it were something where an apology wasn't needed, he gave me a bouquet of red roses, with one white rose in the center. That was his 'I'm sorry' rose."

"Did he do that a lot?"

"Yeah. But there was this one time..." she laughed, as she remembered.

"Alexis, Love," Matthew called from the bathroom.

"What is it?"

He walked out with a towel wrapped around his waist. "Do you mind if I borrow your car today?"

"Why? What's wrong with yours?"

"Well," he smiled. "I have to go out to a construction site today."

"So? You don't want yours getting dirty?"

"No, it's not that. It's just mine's been acting kind of weird lately. It's been stalling out on me," he grinned sheepishly.

"Matthew, you drove that car to New York yesterday. What's the real reason?"

He pulled his shirt over his head. "Oh, all right. If you must know, I have to look important."

She finished buttoning her blouse and hugged him. "You're important. What's wrong with your truck?"

"Nothing, but your BMW is so much more impressive," he grinned.

"Yes, I know it is," she laughed. "But, if you want to look impressive, why are you wearing that shirt?"

"What's wrong with it?"

"It's a tee shirt."

"So? It's a construction site."

"Will you be building any houses?"

"No."

"Then wear the suit jacket. You can wear the shirt but wear the jacket over it. Also, don't wear those blue jeans, wear the black ones."

"Are you dressing me now?"

"If you're going to drive my car, you're going to look the part. Sexy, comfortable, and so impressive," she kissed him.

"If you say so," he held her tightly.

"I do."

He put on the jacket. "So, what are you going to do today?"

"Well, Emily has the store today, so I can take care of some business."

"Oh, what's that?"

"There's a new woman's shelter that needs some desperate repairs. I'm going over there and see what kind of help they need. I'll give them whatever amount they ask for."

"No, you won't," he smiled.

"What?"

"You'll give them double what they ask for. You always do. That's why I love you so much. You always do such great things."

"Matthew, I love you, too. I like helping people. Especially these women. It's not like the homeless shelter that I helped last month. This one's specific for abused women and their children. How anyone could hurt the woman he loves is beyond me."

"I know. I could never raise my hand to you or anyone."

"Well," she smirked. "At least not to me."

"What? I never hit, well, I guess I did."

"Baby, you don't have much of a temper, but when that man got a little pushy, you did hit him."

"What else was I supposed to do? He hit on my wife."

"I was just about to slap him."

"Yeah. But your hands are so dainty. I'd rather not see you hurt."

"There you go, being my protector."

He kissed her cheek. "I'll always protect you," he kissed her mouth. "Well, I got to go. Where are your keys?"

"On the counter in the kitchen. Where are yours?"

"Same place," he walked out of the bedroom.

Alexis walked into the house and dropped on the sofa. "I hope they enjoy their gift," she whispered.

Matthew walked in the room. "Oh, you're home."

She turned around and looked up at him. "Matthew, what's wrong?" he stared at her. "Matthew, um, where's my car?"

He slowly walked over the sofa and sat down. "Well, you see," he reached into his pocket and handed her a small box. "Um, here."

She looked in his eyes and then at the box. She slowly opened it. "The broach is beautiful, but why?" She looked at the gold broach that had twelve red roses engraved on it, with a white one in the center. She turned it over and saw the words 'I'm sorry, Love' engraved on the back. "Matthew, where's my car?"

"Well, there was an accident," he stuttered.

"Oh, my god. Are you OK?"

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine. Not a scratch on me," he smiled. "Actually, I wasn't in the car."

She set the broach on the coffee table and looked at him. She held his face. "Just tell me what happened."

"Well, I parked the car at the site," he started. "And then, I went into the office. After about an hour, there was a large crash. Well, more like crumpling metal," he stopped.

"Crumpling metal?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah. Well, I walked out to see what happened," he put his head down. "There it was, sticking out of the hood of your car."

"There what was?"

"A large piece of metal. I think it was one of the braces for the building. Somehow it fell off the crane and pierced your hood."

"Somehow?"

"Well, yeah."

"You parked my car under a crane?"

"I didn't know it was there. I didn't look up," Matthew touched her face. "I'm sorry. I really am."

"My car. I can't believe I let you talk me into using my car and you destroy it!"

He touched her arm. "Love, I'm sorry," his blue eyes pleaded with her to forgive him.

She shook her head and smiled. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Just love me, faults, and all," he kissed her.

"Is it salvageable?"

"Um, no. It's not."

"Well, then tomorrow, you're taking the day off and buying me a new one. But this time, I want a silver one."

"You don't like the gold?"

"I love the gold, but this time I want a shiny, new silver car."

"I'll do that," he hugged her. "Do you forgive me?"

"Yeah. I know you'll make it up to me somehow."

Alexis looked at Walter. He watched her intently as she told him her story. "Walter?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"Thanks for what?"

"At least pretending to show an interest."

"I'm not pretending," he smiled. "Alexis, I really enjoy this. To be honest, besides being here, I don't have much in my life."

"You don't have any family?"

"Well, just my mother. She lives in New Jersey. But other than her, I have no one. I was married a long time ago, but things didn't work out. When you're a cop, even just a corrections officer, things can make your private life difficult."

"I didn't realize. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I love my job. I don't want to be a bad ass with a badge. I think that everyone deserves the chance to be happy. I try to treat people with respect. If they respect me, whether a prisoner or not, I'll respect them. Only jackasses get treated as such."

She touched his hand lightly. "I'm sorry if I was ever rude to you. It's hard being a prisoner."

"I know that it is. I see it every day."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why'd they pick you to guard me?"

"Alexis, everyone here, including the sheriff, knows what happened to you and your friends. The deputy sheriff requested that I guard you. I don't have a family to worry about with these shifts and they know how I treat people."

"Is that all?"

"Well, yeah. That's why they sent me in here. Capshaw's a nice guy, but he treats all prisoners the same, like prisoners."

"He was OK. But, I'm glad that you're here. You've made this a little bit more bearable."

"Why did you think that I was faking my interest in your stories, though?"

She stood up and walked over the bars. "Because, I used to do that with Matthew," she laughed slightly.

"Oh, really?"

"Well, kind of. He used to go on and on about his days in the Marines. I really didn't pay attention too much."

"Long, boring stories, huh?"

"Well, mostly. When he talked about his best friend, JC, I listened. Those stories were interesting. He had a great relationship with him. Kind of reminded me of John and me. We were just the best of friends. Only JC and Matthew drifted, I guess. JC used to live in Florence, Arizona."

"Oh, never heard of it."

"Well, it's not too far from Phoenix, I guess. It's just a small town. Not much around."

"Sounds nice."

"Yeah. I've only lived around here, except when I went to private school."

"Were you a spoiled rich kid?"

"No. I wasn't brought up that way. My parents were great. They did so much with their money. I mean, yes, they spent it on fancy toys and a big, huge house, and sent me to the best schools, but I was taught to work for my money, just as mom did."

"Are your parents still alive?"

"No," she shook her head sadly and sat next to Walter on the cot. "They died in a car accident a long time ago. A drunk driver broadsided their limo when they were on their way home from a fundraiser. They died instantly."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I kind of thought that your lawyer was your father."

"No, he just acts like it. Jason's a good man. He was my parent's lawyer. He does everything. He's such a smart man. A lot of attorney's will handle certain types of law, but Jason, he keeps studying more and more. He usually handles business and estate kind of stuff, but he's a great defense attorney, even if I don't agree with him."

"Well, he does have your best interest at heart, Alexis. I can tell."

"Yeah. He does. He's always been my protector," she jumped up. "But, I don't want a protector. I want to handle things on my own. Matthew died because he was trying to protect me and look where that got him."

Walter stood up and touched her arms. "We all need someone to take care of us, now and then."

She pushed him away. "No. Not if it means dying. I don't ever want anyone to protect me again."

"Alexis, if you want to be the one to protect yourself, then testify. I know that you're scared. Alexis, the only way you can really take control and take care of yourself, is to testify."

"I know, I told Jason I'd do it, but what if, what if I?"

"What if you lose?"

"No. What if I win? What if I walk out of the courthouse a free woman? Will I really be free?"

"Alexis, you'll never be free if you go to prison. Think about it. If you don't want your old life, just make a new one," he walked toward the door. "Just think about it. Write your own life."

Alexis lay down on the cot as Walter locked the cell. "Good night, Walter. And thank you."

"Good night, Alexis."

### 6

ALEXIS WOKE TO arguing between Walter and Capshaw. She pretended to be asleep to hear what they were saying to each other.

"Wheeler, what is it with you?"

"Give me a break, will you?" Walter snapped. "She's just a prisoner, that's all."

"Yeah, right. She's just a prisoner. She's a damn heiress. She killed someone. She's not your ordinary scumbag, Walter."

"Just leave her out of this. After the trial, she's gone. Whether she goes to prison or is set free."

"You and your special favors! You're giving her extra special favors, aren't you?"

"If I weren't on duty, I'd knock you into the middle of next week. I don't give special favors to anyone. She's behaving herself. Hey, Capshaw, she's an actual person. You do know what people are. Don't you?"

"Yes, real people live outside this world."

"No, Jack. Not everyone one that's in here deserves to be. Alexis, I mean, Garris, doesn't deserve this. She lost her husband and friends."

"She killed one of her friends."

"Only because that supposed friend killed her husband. Jack, just lay off. I'm doing my job. Nothing's interfering with my job."

"Sorry, Walter, I didn't mean to imply anything."

"Just drop it. I'll be back in the blocks in a few weeks," Walter walked back to his small office and Capshaw left.

Alexis sat up and stretched. "Morning, Walter," she didn't want him to know what she heard.

"Morning, Garris," he muttered.

"Oh, did I do something wrong?" she asked.

"No, it's nothing. I'm sorry, Alexis," he stepped out of the small office. "Are you hungry? Breakfast is already here."

She stood up and walked over to cell as he unlocked it. "Thanks, Walter."

"No problem. Go enjoy your food. I've got work to do," he walked over to his office.

As she ate, she could feel his eyes on her. But when she looked up, he'd go back to reading his paper. When she finished, she went back into her cell and closed the door. She curled up on the cot and started reading through the stack of books that lay on the floor.

Walter came over to her cell after a little while. "Um, Alexis, are you OK?"

She looked up from her book and smiled. "I'm fine, but you don't look so good."

"Can I come in?"

"You're the boss," she smiled. "Walter, I heard you and Capshaw this morning."

"Oh, you did?" he sat down on the cot.

"Yeah, I did. You don't have to talk about it. Please, don't worry. I won't say anything about us. I swear. That one night won't ever happen again."

"What are you reading?"

"Oh, this?" She looked at the cover of her book. "It's called Business Ventures. It's basically a book about finances and how company stock values rise when the employees have stock options."

"Oh, sounds interesting," he smiled.

"No, it's not really interesting, but it's informative. I used to be involved in business corrections."

"Business corrections?"

"That's what I call it. It's when a business or company's failing or going to be sold. If employees are allowed to buy stock, the company becomes stronger. It helps them keep their job, and they work harder because they own the company they work for."

"Oh, did you do this a lot?"

"Well, I did it for a few small companies. I used to donate to good causes, like shelters and hospitals," she sighed. "I owned a few businesses in my time, but well, now, it's different."

"Do you still own any businesses?"

"Well, I have my gift shop. The A&M gift shop over on Median Avenue. Matthew's shop," she smiled slightly. "The Garris Engineering Foundation is still around. I have to sell that soon. I have a few potential buyers. But right now, those are the only two businesses I have left."

"I didn't mean to butt into your financials. I was just curious as to why you were reading all these business and technical books."

"That's quite OK. One thing I could always control is my businesses. I'm not technical or have any special talents, but even when life is falling apart around me, I can handle my own in business."

"I guess we all have things that keep us together."

"Yeah, I just want to fall apart, but I know I can't yet," Alexis cried. "I still don't understand how this could happen."

"Well, I'll leave you to your reading. I have some paperwork to do," he got up and locked the cell behind him.

She continued to read her book and then all of a sudden, she stopped and stared at the next paragraph. She whispered the words out loud. "Several companies have tried to focus their energies on the wallet, rather than their employees. Where skills and resources keep the business alive, CEOs are looking at the pocketbook. There are, of course, exceptions. The Rossi Carpet Saver Incorporation, a family owned business, set the standard for valuing its employees. All employees are given the opportunity to purchase stock upon hiring. Even after the loss of its Owner, Marjorie Rossi, this tradition has grown. The Rossi CEO and President, Alfred Abrams, has been determined to keep this alive. Mr. Abrams took on the position after Mrs. and Mr. Rossi passed away in a tragic accident. Alfred and his brother, Jason, the family attorney, keep the business running."

Tears streamed down her face, as she continued to read. "Though Alexis Rossi-Garris is the sole heiress to the estate, she had the unique business sense to preserve her family's legacy and keep the business as employee owned," she paused as she took a deep breath. "During the past two years, other companies have tried to follow suit. The Welch Corporation, which is actually a partnership between brothers, Steven and Paul, buys failing companies and tries to turn them into profits. Steven Welch is most famous for buying skilled resources for his companies to give them the edge to keep thriving. Paul and Steven own several companies throughout the United States, but their primary ventures are located in Arizona," she sat back in the cot and smiled. "Hmm, maybe I should take them up on the offer."

She looked up and noticed that Walter was standing at her cell. "Did I disturb you?" he asked.

"No. Sorry, I was just reading out loud."

"Oh, what were you saying?"

"Oh, the Welch Corporation. They're one of the offers I have to consider for Matthew's firm."

"Oh, that's a big company, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I've never met either brother, but I've read good things about them," she sat back. "Did you need something?"

"Oh, yeah. Time for your walk," he smiled.

She laid the book on the cot and stood up. She stretched. "Yeah. I guess I do need to exercise these legs."

He unlocked the cell and opened the door. "What did happen to you, anyway?"

"Oh, it's just the stab wound. She stabbed me in the back. Nothing major, but it's my lower back so after a while, my legs stiffen when my back starts to hurt."

"Any permanent damage?"

"Well, kind of. Yeah," she sighed. "Can't have any more children. This scar will be with me for the rest of my life."

"Oh, Alexis, I'm sorry," he watched her walk around the corridor. "You said any more children; do you have kids?"

She turned and faced him. "No. I was only a few weeks pregnant, when this all happened. I didn't even know about it, until after."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring it up."

"Don't worry about it. I don't have to worry about having a family. My family's dead. Matthew and the child are gone," she sat on the floor. "She took away everything from me. I have nothing left."

Walter walked over to her. "It'll be OK. Alexis, when you get out of here, just try and make a life for yourself. You deserve to be happy."

"I don't know if I can. But, then again, I don't think I'll ever be out of here again," she sighed.

He stretched out his hand to hers and she pulled herself up. "Thanks, Walter," she smiled.

"At least, you're starting to smile."

"For you, maybe. I haven't really smiled in a while, but you've made my stay here, well, a little less inhibiting," she walked over to her cell and sat down. She picked up her book and finished reading.

"Oh, god! Walter! Help me," she cried.

He ran over to the cell. "What's wrong?"

"My back. Something's wrong with my back," she cried in pain as she hunched her body over.

Walter opened up the door and lifted up the back of her shirt. "Oh, god, Alexis. Your scar's all red and swollen. Hold on. I have to call for help."

"It hurts, Walter. It hurts really bad."

A few minutes later, he came back with Officer Capshaw. "Hold on. We're taking you to the infirmary," Walter carefully picked her up in his arms. Capshaw held her head as she fainted from the pain. Slowly, they made their way to the infirmary.

Walter lay her down on the bed, while Capshaw brought in the doctor. "Doctor, what's wrong with her?"

"I don't know. I think her scars are infected. Wounds like that take forever to heal. I'm sure the materials in these damn jumpsuits don't help, either."

"What do we do now?"

"I'm calling an ambulance. She has got to be treated at the hospital that did her surgeries." The doctor left the room, followed by Capshaw.

Walter held her hand. "It's OK, Alexis. Just wake up."

Her eyes fluttered. "Walter, what happened?"

"Your scar's infected. They're taking you to the hospital. You'll be fine."

"It hurts, really bad," she cried.

"I know. I'll be right with you. I promise. After all, you're my prisoner," he smiled softly.

"Thank you," she closed her eyes again.

### 7

ALEXIS WOKE UP to find herself handcuffed to the bed. She looked around the room and there was Walter standing next to the door. "Walter, where am I?"

"You're in the hospital. They're going to release you tomorrow."

"Oh, tomorrow?" she sighed. "Oh, what's wrong with my back?"

"The doctor will be in shortly. They've already taken care of you, but I'll let him tell you what happened."

She closed her eyes and muttered. "I hate hospitals."

He smiled and leaned up against the wall. "Well, it's just one more night."

There was a knock on the door and Walter answered it. "Yes, come in doctor. She's just brooding. Don't mind her."

The doctor smiled at her. "Alexis, I'm Dr. Feinstein. Do you remember me?"

"Yes, doctor, I do. What's wrong with me?"

"Well, Alexis. The material that the jail issued jumpsuits are made out of have infected your scars. I don't know what's in those suits, but the shirt rubbing against your raw scars caused the infection."

"Oh, boy," she sighed. "What do I do now? I have to wear them. I'm in jail."

"No. I already talked with the Sheriff. You will be allowed to wear a few orange, sorry about that, orange sweat suits."

"Well, that's good. I guess," Alexis said. "I don't want any special attention or anything."

"Well, if the infection had gotten any worse, you would've completely lost your uterus and ovaries."

"Doctor, they're already damaged. I don't care about that anymore."

"I'm sorry, Alexis. Do you want to speak with your regular doctor?"

"Dr. Lewis? Oh, please may I?"

"Yes, he's in the hospital today. I'll page him," said Dr. Feinstein as he left the room.

Alexis covered her eyes with her arm. "Walter, I'm sorry."

He walked over to her. "Why are you sorry? You're the one that hurts."

"It's just that here I am again, needing special attention. First, they gave me you, not that I mind. And now, I have to wear regular clothes, they may be orange, but I'm sure they're more comfortable."

Walter smiled. "Stop it. Just stop it. I called your sister-in-law. She's bringing your new clothes and your suits for the trial."

"She is?" Alexis sat up slowly. "Really? Can I see her?"

"I'll think about it," he smirked.

"You'll think about it?"

"Yes, you can see her if you stop this. You're a wonderful woman in a bad situation," he walked over and touched her face.

There was a knock on the door and he answered it. "Yes, come in, Doctor."

Alexis' eyes lit up when she saw Dr. Lewis. "Dr. Lewis, thank you for coming."

He sat down on the bed next to her. "Alexis, you're going to be just fine."

"Now that you're here, I am. I just feel much better."

"Alexis, I'm sorry about everything that you're going through. Dr. Feinstein has put you on antibiotics and they wrapped up the scar. Keep the bandage on for at least a week. Since they're giving you new clothes to wear, you should be fine. Are you getting exercise?"

"Yes, I take walks in the corridor."

"I see," he smiled at her and held her hand. "You'll be fine. Alexis, when this is all over, come and see me. You'll need a complete check-up."

"Doctor, what if it's not over?"

"Alexis, I've known you your entire life. It'll be over. Remember don't bury the pain. I do know how you are," he smiled as he left the room.

Alexis nuzzled into her pillow and smiled.

"Alexis, are you all right now?" Walter asked.

"Yes, fine. I guess I'll be OK," she closed her eyes as her mind wandered.

Alexis sat in the waiting room. Her knees shook up and down as she waited. "Ms. Rossi, the doctor will see you now," Alexis followed the nurse down the long hallway and into the doctor's office. "Dr. Lewis will be here soon."

Alexis nervously rubbed her forehead back and forth with her hand. Dr. Lewis came in behind her and put his hand on hers. "Alexis, why are you so nervous?"

"Um, well, doc, it's been a while since I've been here."

"I know. Why did you need to see me? What's so important?"

"Well, I don't know if you knew this or not, but I'm getting married soon."

"Yes, Alexis, I heard that. That kind of news goes public quick," he laughed.

"Well, yeah," she put her head down.

"Alexis, look at me. You're getting married, so what's going on?"

"Well, Matthew and I haven't, well, had sex yet. He wants to wait until we're married," she blushed.

"I understand. Don't see that very often anymore, but good for you two. I still don't understand why you're here."

"Well, as you know, in the past, I've slept with a few men," she took a deep breath. "I guess I just want to make sure that I'm OK and I want to see if I can have children. Not all of my, well, encounters were protected."

He leaned back in the chair. "Yes, to serve and protect, doesn't always, does it?"

"Very funny, doc," Alexis laughed. "And for the record, Matthew's not a cop."

"Are you sure that you're ready for this?"

"Marriage? Yes, doc. Matthew and I love each other very much."

"If you're sure. You have to remember, I've taken care of you for a long time. I know how you got when your parents died. Alexis, you can't look for love through sex. It just doesn't work."

"I know, doc. Yes, I know that I buried the pain and looked to make myself feel better, in the wrong way, but it's different with Matthew. He loves me. He really does. And, yes, I love him. I've never been in love with anyone, but I love him."

"Good. I just needed to make sure," he smiled at her. "Alexis, I know that you're worried, but you've been very good at getting check-ups. Let's go in the exam room, and I'll run some tests."

"Thanks, doc," she smiled as she followed the Doctor.

"Alexis, honey, are you awake?" Emily asked.

"Oh, Em?" Alexis rubbed her eyes. "It's so good to see you."

"Are you OK?"

"Yeah. Just a little infection, no big deal," Alexis looked at Walter. "I see he decided to let you see me," she smiled.

"Yeah," Emily sat next to her. "Has Jason been here yet?"

"No, why?"

"Alexis, do you realize how long you were out?"

"No, today's Saturday, right?"

"Um, honey, it's Thursday. You've been out since Saturday," Emily touched her hand.

Alexis glared at Walter. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to upset you."

"Upset me? I missed the jury selection?" Alexis asked.

"Yes, I'm sorry. Jason stopped by yesterday. He'll see you at the jail tomorrow," Walter explained.

Emily stared at Walter. "I can't believe you didn't tell her."

"That's OK, Em. Don't worry about it," Alexis said. "Walter, what else didn't you tell me?"

"Your trial starts Monday. That's all I know. Jury selection only took three days. Jason will see you tomorrow to prepare the case with you. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you. I didn't get the chance."

"Alexis, I'll see you in the courthouse on Monday. I brought some sweats for you and a couple of your suits for the trial," she kissed her cheek. "Take care of yourself."

"Bye, Em," Alexis leaned back in the bed. She looked at Walter. "Thanks for letting her come and see me."

"It's not a problem. And, no, it's not a special favor," he winked at her. "Get some rest."

### 8

ALEXIS SMOOTHED OUT her black skirt as she exited her cell. Walter placed the handcuffs on her wrists. "Are you ready for this?" he whispered.

"It's been over five months. I just want to get it over with," she frowned. "But, thank you for asking."

"Let's go, Garris," he laughed. He took her arm and led her down the corridor.

Alexis shuddered as the metal gates slammed shut behind them. Walter helped her into the Sheriff's patrol car and sat in the front seat. "Oh, you're coming with me?"

"Yes, I'm your personal guard, well, at least until you're released," he smiled. "I'm sorry, but Officer Capshaw will be driving us."

"Capshaw?" she asked, as the officer sat in the driver's seat.

"Ready, Garris?" he asked.

"Yes, sir," she stared out the window as they drove to the courthouse. Alexis could see the mobs of people and reporters congregated outside the courthouse. "Oh, god. Do I have to go through all of that?"

"No, Garris. We're taking you in the back way. You won't see a reporter until you're set free," Capshaw replied.

"As if I will be," she muttered.

"Alexis, don't worry. Just tell the truth. That's all you have to do," Walter comforted.

"That's what'll get me in trouble. I'll tell the truth. I've nothing to hide, I think," she whispered.

Officer Capshaw parked the car in the parking garage. He and Walter took Alexis' arms and led her inside the courtroom. Alexis scanned the faces as she walked to the defendant's table. She smiled when she saw Emily and Tony.

As she took her seat, Emily and Tony placed their hands on her shoulder. "You'll be fine," Emily whispered, and Tony nodded.

As Alexis stared at the empty judge's bench, she heard a familiar throat clearing from behind her. She turned around slightly. Greg was sitting in the last row. His brown eyes were still soft as he looked at her, but the rest of his face showed no emotion. His tall, thin body was positioned to look directly at her, but there was still no emotion. She wanted to say something, but how can you apologize for killing a man's wife?

She turned away and put her head down. John and Jason walked over to her and sat down.

"Alexis, everything's going to be fine. Just do what I said. The prosecution will present their case first and then we'll present ours. I want you to testify last," John Abrams said.

"What else do we have, John?" She sighed. "I was the only one there."

"I've a list of character witnesses, for both you and Matthew. We need to show them what kind of man Matthew was. He didn't deserve to die."

"Neither did John and Mary," she sobbed lightly.

"I know. John's sister and Mary's parents are here. They support you, honey," John reassured her.

"Do they? They don't hate me?"

"Look at their faces," Jason said.

Alexis turned toward their families and smiled slightly. "It's OK, Lex," John's sister, Lena replied. "We're here for you."

"Thank you," Alexis turned back around as the bailiff announced the judge's arrival.

Alexis sat through days and days of testimony as the prosecution accused the heiress of being a cold-blooded killer. He accused her of being as cold-blooded as the victim herself.

Alexis tried not to show any emotion. She knew that, yes, she killed Amanda, but she was NOT like her in anyway. Alexis tried to make eye contact with Greg, but he just stared right through her. Greg was on the list to testify against her, but the prosecution never called him to the stand.

After two weeks, John started to present his case. He placed character witnesses on the stand to testify about how great Matthew, John, and Mary were. Even the Governor testified about the loss of his number one bodyguard.

Alexis cried several times as she relived happy moments and memories through the testimony that was given. On day four of the defense's case, the witnesses called were there to testify for Alexis' character. On the cross-examination, the prosecutor tried to depict her as a spoiled, rich kid who took whatever she could. He brought up her past with police officers and revealed his theory that she thought she could get away with it if she slept with the right man, the right officer.

"Will the defense call their next witness?" the judge said.

"Your honor," John started. "I'd like to request a short recess before I call the defendant to the stand."

"So, granted," The judge slammed down his gavel. "Ten-minute recess."

The courtroom cleared out and John looked into Alexis' eyes. "Are you ready for this?"

"I guess," she sighed.

"Remember what we talked about," Jason said. "Just answer John's questions."

"I will."

"Just remain calm. If you need to cry, just sob, and wipe the tears from your eyes, just always continue on."

"I will, John."

"Alexis, don't lose your cool. Even when the prosecution questions you, don't lose control. Don't get defensive."

"I won't. John, I'll just tell the truth."

"Good," he touched her hand.

"All rise," the bailiff said. "The honorable Judge Helmsman, presiding."

"Please, be seated."

"Mr. Abrams, please call your next witness," The judge ordered.

"Yes, your honor. I call the defendant, Alexis Rossi Garris to the stand."

Alexis slowly stood from her chair and walked over to the witness stand.

The bailiff stood in front of her. "Please raise your right hand," he ordered, and she complied. "Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you god?"

"I do," she sat down.

John took a deep breath and slowly approached Alexis. "Please state your full name for the record."

"Alexis Rossi Garris," Alexis said, as her eyes met Jason's for reassurance.

"Mrs. Garris, how long were you married to the victim, Matthew Garris?"

"Six years," she smiled slightly.

"Mrs. Garris. On the night in question, you were injured, weren't you?"

"Yes, sir. I was."

"What was the extent of your injuries?"

"I was stabbed in the back. I've had several surgeries, but not all the damage was repaired."

"Mrs. Garris, what was a consequence of your injuries?"

"I lost a child. I was a few weeks pregnant when I was stabbed."

"Did you know that you were pregnant at the time?"

"No, sir. I did not."

"So, this child would've been another heir to the Rossi Estate?"

"Objection," The prosecutor stood up. "Inconsequential."

"Sustained. Counselor, ask another question."

"OK, Mrs. Garris, let's try this, another way," he paused. "I'd like for you to tell me, in your own words, the events of the entire day leading up to and including the death of Amanda Shapone."

"Yes, sir," Alexis said. "May I have some water first please?"

John walked over and handed her a glass of water. "Do you need a moment?"

"No, I'm fine, thank you," Alexis sighed. Her eyes caught Walter's as he stood at the back of the courtroom. He smiled and nodded at her. I can do this. I have to do this. I need to pay for this. "Well, um, Matthew and I woke up really early that morning. Greg was scheduled to pick us up at five AM in his camper."

"Um, you mean, Mr. Shapone, the victim's husband?"

"Yes, sir," she nodded. "He finally showed up at around six. He was always late," she smiled slightly. She took a deep breath and relived the memories of that day in her head as she described them to the jury.

"It's about time, you got here," Matthew said.

"Sorry, Matthew, running a little late this morning," Greg said.

"It's OK. Where are John and Mary?" Alexis asked.

"Where else? They're making out in the back of the camper," Amanda laughed.

"Oh, boy, another one of those kind of trips," Matthew laughed, as he loaded the tent in the storage compartment. "Let's get going."

Matthew took Alexis' hand as he helped her inside the camper. He put his arm around her and kissed her cheek. After Greg started driving, Mary and John walked out of the bedroom of the camper. "Oh, we stopped?" Mary asked.

"Well, not anymore," Alexis laughed.

"Oh, I guess we didn't notice," John said, as he kissed Mary.

"So, the honeymoon's never really over, is it?" Matthew asked John.

"No way. As long as I have Mary by my side, it'll never be over," John pulled Mary into a kiss.

Matthew touched Alexis' face. "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em," he kissed her tenderly and ran his hands down her back.

Greg pulled into the campsite and opened up the back door. "Oh, am I interrupting anything?" he laughed slightly.

"Um, no," Alexis said. "Are we there yet?"

"Yes, we are," Amanda said. "Let's get set up so that we can relax the rest of the day."

Matthew and John pulled their tents out and set them up. Mary and Alexis watched as they fought with the tents. They both laughed when the tents were finally standing straight. "Oh, wow," Alexis said. "How will we know which one is whose?"

"What do you mean?" Greg asked.

"We bought the same tent as John and Mary," Alexis laughed.

"Great minds," John said, as he kissed Alexis' cheek. "Lex, don't worry about it. It's fine."

"Yeah. Just don't climb in between us in the middle of the night," Matthew said.

"Hey, I thought we shared everything," John laughed.

"You may have known my wife a lot longer, but she's mine," Matthew laughed.

Alexis just shook her head and smiled. "OK, boys. You all have fun. Us girls are going for a walk. We expect this campsite to be set by the time we got back."

Alexis wiped the tears from her eyes as she paused.

"Alexis, can you continue?" John asked.

"Yes, I'm sorry," she took a sip of her water. "When we got back from our walk, everything was all set up and ready for us. Matthew, John, and Greg even had some food and coffee waiting for us when we arrived," she smiled.

"Coffee? For us?" Mary asked in shock.

"Before you drink that, who made it?" Alexis asked.

"I did," Greg said proudly.

"Oh, good. If Matthew made it, I wouldn't have drunk it," Alexis laughed.

"Hey, I make good coffee," Matthew defended.

"Maybe good enough for a Marine, but not real people," Mary joked.

Amanda sat in silence as she watched them laugh and joke around. Greg sat next to her and put his arm around her. "You know, Mandy, it's OK to have some fun."

"Are you sure, Greg? I don't want to get in the way or anything," she replied.

Alexis and Mary looked at her and shook their heads. "Amanda, let's go for a swim. Let's all go for a swim," Mary offered.

The six of them headed out to the lake and started to dive in the cool water. Alexis swam for a little while and then sat on the shore. A short time later, Greg came over and joined her.

Alexis watched as Matthew and John splashed each other. She smiled.

"Alexis, are you OK?" Greg asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine," she sighed. "It's just so peaceful here."

"I wanted to talk to you about something," he said.

"Greg, we talked about it the other day. It's done with."

"I just wanted to apologize for the way that I did it. If I scared you, I'm sorry," he patted her bare leg. "I have to admit that, yes, I do love you, but I respect the love you and Matthew have."

Alexis lay her head on his shoulder. "It's fine, honey. Greg, you know that I love you. You're one of my closest friends, but I love Matthew," she smiled.

"I know, sweetheart. I couldn't help myself. I wanted to tell you. I know how you are about honesty. I figured one day you'd see right through me."

"I can see it when I look in your eyes, but you have Amanda and I have Matthew. That's the way it is. I love Matthew with all my heart. He's the first man I really loved."

He kissed her mouth. "I understand. Just so you know I'll always be here for you."

"I know," she smiled as Matthew walked up to them.

"Is this guy hitting on you again?" he laughed.

"Of course," she flirted.

He scooped her up and kissed her. He carried her back to the campsite and sat her in front of the fire. "So, what you and Greg really discussing?" he asked.

"Matthew, you have nothing to worry about. He just thinks that he's in love with me," she smiled.

"Should I be jealous?"

"No, baby. I only love you. I hope you know that. Don't you?" She kissed him softly on the mouth.

"Yes, Love, I do."

The group soon joined them, and they sat in front of the fire for a while.

Alexis took a sip of her water and glanced in Greg's direction. His eyes were sad, but she didn't know the exact reason. "Um," she cleared her throat. "After a few hours," she continued her testimony. "Amanda and Greg decided to go off for a walk together," she took a deep breath and sighed.

Matthew, John, Mary, and Alexis sat by the fire as Greg and Amanda wandered off into the woods.

"Do you think he really loves her?" Mary asked.

"I don't know," Alexis responded.

"Why?" Matthew asked.

"I don't know. He seems to have complete control over her. She can't even get the mail without his permission."

"I guess he can be a little controlling, but he means well. If she doesn't mind it, who are we to judge?" Alexis said.

"I guess you're right," Mary said.

"Well, maybe they're like us, but only behind closed doors," John raised his eyebrows up and down.

Mary leaned over and kissed him. "Who knows? We don't mind showing our love in public. They seem to hide theirs."

Loud voices started getting closer to the site. "Oh, god. Here we go. World war three. The Shapones are at it again," Matthew said.

"Well, we're going to head in. We've some loving of our own to do," John grabbed Mary's hand as he led her into the tent.

"Um, John?" Alexis started to say.

Matthew shook his head. "Don't worry about it. They can sleep in our tent tonight. We'll just take theirs. I don't think they'll even realize it."

Alexis leaned over and kissed him tenderly. "So, what should we do?"

"Let's go for a walk. Hopefully, the war will have calmed down by the time we get back," Matthew helped her stand and led her into the woods.

Tears streamed down Alexis' face. She tried to wipe them quickly. "John, I need a moment, please."

John looked up at the judge. "Your honor, may we have a short recess?"

The judge looked at his watch and then at Alexis. "Mrs. Garris, do you mind picking this up tomorrow? It's getting kind of late."

"No, sir, that's fine," Alexis took her seat at the table and held her head as she cried. "I'm sorry, John. I can't help it."

"It's quite all right, honey," John hugged her gently. "Try and get some sleep tonight. Tomorrow will be a long, grueling day."

"I know. I'll try," Alexis stood up as Walter approached her. "Go ahead, cuff me."

### 9

ALEXIS SAT ON the edge of her cot and sobbed. Walter came in and sat next to her. "Alexis, you did really well."

"It's going to be so hard tomorrow," she continued to cry.

"Do you care yet?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you care what happens to you?"

"No, Walter, I don't. After tomorrow's testimony, you'll know why."

"What about Matthew, John, and Mary? Don't they count?"

"Of course, they do. They count because it's my fault that they're all dead. Amanda killed them because she, well, she thought they were Matthew and me. She hated me. Matthew just got in the way, and she killed him."

"Alexis, don't do that on the stand."

"Do what?"

"Elaborate on what you think happened or why you think things happened. Just state facts."

"They're going to destroy me when the prosecution gets a hold of me."

"Just tell the truth. That's all you can do."

Alexis spent the night staring at the ceiling of her cell. Walter came in the next morning after she got dressed and took her to the courthouse.

Alexis sat down and waited for John and Jason to arrive. Emily placed her hand on Alexis' shoulder. "Are you going to be all right?" she asked.

"Today will be hard. Em, if you can't hear about it, I'll understand if you want to leave."

"Not a chance. Alexis, you never told me exactly what happened. I need to know about my brother. I loved him so much. I need to know about his last moments," she sobbed lightly as Tony wrapped his arms around her.

Tony looked at Alexis. "Just do what's right. My wife needs to be able to put her brother to rest."

"I promise. I'll tell the truth," Alexis took a deep breath and waited for the trial to start.

"Your honor, I call Alexis Garris back to the witness stand," John said.

Alexis slowly took the stand. She noticed that Greg was just walking in as she sat down. Her eyes pleaded with forgiveness from him, but he just stared blankly. She took a deep breath.

"Alexis, are you ready to begin?" John asked.

"Yes, sir."

"Yesterday, you left off in your testimony when you and your husband, Matthew Garris, went for a walk."

"Yes, sir."

"Will you please continue from there?"

"Yes, sir," she nodded slightly.

Alexis and Matthew walked out of the woods and back to the campsite. "Amanda! What the hell's going on?" Alexis yelled.

Amanda, covered in blood, stared coldly at them. "You? You're not dead."

"What are you talking about? What did you do?" Matthew screamed. He ran over to their tent and looked inside. "Oh, god, Amanda, what did you do?"

"You're not dead, you bitch!" Amanda muttered.

Alexis slowly walked over to Matthew and looked in the tent. "Why? You killed them? Why did you kill them?"

"You were supposed to be in there. Why didn't you go in there?" Amanda cried calmly.

"Amanda, calm down. Just look at me and calm down, please," Matthew pleaded with her. "What happened?"

"Her!" She pointed to Alexis. "My husband is in love with her!"

"That's not true, Mandy. Come on you know that Greg loves you," Matthew said.

"No, Matthew. They have us all fooled. They're going off together. I know. Greg loves her. Well, he can't have her. He's not going to have her. I'll kill her first. I swear, Matthew, I'll kill her first."

"No, come on, Amanda. You don't need to hurt anyone else. Let's talk about this. Where's Greg? He'll straighten this out."

"Amanda, I don't love Greg. I love Matthew," Alexis cried.

"You're going to die. I wish Greg was here to see it but he's in the woods. You're about to die," Amanda raised the butcher knife in the air and stabbed at Alexis. Matthew pushed Alexis out of the way and was hit in the chest.

"Matthew!" Alexis screamed. "Oh, god, Matthew. No. No, baby," she held Matthew in her arms. "Stay with me, Love. Please don't leave me," she cried.

Matthew looked up at Alexis. "Love, know that I love you. I'll always be with you," he smiled slightly. "I do love you," he reached up slowly and touched her face. "Love," his arm lowered to the ground as he took his last breath.

"No, Matthew. Please come back. Don't leave me. You promised you would never leave me," she cried, as she held his lifeless body.

Alexis looked up at Amanda, who just stared at her. "You killed him!" She screamed. "You killed my Matthew!"

Amanda raised the knife and plunged it into Alexis' back as she held Matthew's body.

Alexis buried her face in her hands. "I-I-I need a minute," she wiped the tears from her eyes and her voice shook. She held her face for a few minutes and then nodded to John.

"Alexis, do you know what happened next?" John asked.

"The next thing I remember is waking up. The police were there with Greg and Amanda was dead."

"Alexis, did you kill Amanda Shapone?"

"Yes, sir. I believe that I did."

"Do you remember killing Amanda Shapone?"

"No, sir. I don't remember anything from when she stabbed me to the time I woke up."

"How do you know that you killed Amanda?"

"The police told me I did. I had to have done it. I was the only one there."

"Alexis, when you opened the tent, before Matthew was killed, what did you find?"

"John and Mary. Their bodies were butchered. There was so much blood. If I didn't know it was them, I would've never recognized, um, recognized them," she sobbed.

"Alexis, for the record again, did Amanda Shapone tell you who she wanted to kill?"

"Yes, sir. She wanted to kill me."

"What was the reason that she gave?"

"She said that her husband was in love me," she wiped her tears.

"No further questions," John sat down.

Alexis looked up at the judge. "Your honor, May I have a few minutes before the cross-examination, please?"

"Yes, Mrs. Garris. Take your seat. Counselors approach the bench please."

Alexis sat down at the defense table while John joined the prosecution at the judge's bench.

John came back to the table and took her hand. "You did really well, Alexis."

"John, I can't get that out of my head. Matthew's really gone," she sobbed.

"I know, honey. But Amanda Shapone will never, ever hurt anyone again."

"He died protecting me. I don't deserve it," she cried harder. "I don't deserve anything, anymore."

"Alexis, get a hold of yourself. You have to get through the cross-examination. Please, they're going to throw your past in your face. Please, just tell the truth. Don't elaborate, just facts."

"I know, Walter already told me how to handle them."

"Walter?" John asked.

"I mean, Officer Wheeler."

"Alexis, you didn't?" Jason asked.

"No, Jason. No. I didn't. We didn't. He's just a nice man. That's all," she lied.

"Good. Are you ready?" John asked her.

"Yes."

"My client's ready for the cross-examination now," John stood up.

"Mrs. Garris, please take the stand and remember that you're still under oath."

Alexis nodded as she sat down.

Mr. Martin, the prosecutor stood up. "Mrs. Garris, again, how long were you married to Matthew Garris?"

"Six years."

"How long did you date him before you were married?"

"Um, about seven, eight months."

"I see," he looked at his notebook. "Mrs. Garris, have you ever dated a police officer before?"

"Objection!" John stood up.

"Overruled. Go on, Mr. Martin. Please answer the question, Mrs. Garris."

"Yes, I have."

"How many?"

"Objection!" John stood up again. "What does her previous personal life have to do with the case?"

"Your honor, I'll make my point shortly," Mr. Martin said.

"Overruled. Continue."

"Six. I've dated six police officers."

"Weren't they Pennsylvania State Troopers?"

"Yes, sir. They were. But that was a long—"

"Mrs. Garris, who were the police officers that arrived at the crime scene?"

"I think there were State Troopers and local PD. I don't really remember."

"You don't remember much, do you?"

"Objection!" John stood up.

"Withdrawn!" Mr. Martin snapped. "Mrs. Garris, it seems you have a history with police officers. A sexual history," he smiled. "Since this incident, have you slept with any more police officers?"

Alexis' eyes met Walter's. "No, sir. The last time that I slept with a police officer was eight years ago," she sighed.

"Have you slept with anyone since your husband died?"

"Objection!" John stood up.

"Withdrawn," Mr. Martin said. "Mrs. Garris, when you were in the hospital recovering from your wounds, were you interviewed by the police?"

"Yes, sir."

"Do you remember the officer's name?"

"Yes, sir. It was Sergeant Eric Thompson."

"Did you know Officer Thompson, previously?"

"Yes, sir. We had dated years ago."

"Did you ask him to cover for you?"

"Excuse me, sir?"

"Did you ask Officer Thompson to help you in this matter? Cover it up for you?"

"No, sir. Why don't you ask him that? He'll tell you the same thing," she jumped up from her chair.

"Please, sit down, Mrs. Garris," The judge ordered.

"Yes, sir. I'm sorry, your honor."

"Mrs. Garris, Officer Thompson was killed in the line of duty shortly after questioning you. His report was never filed."

"I didn't kill him," she muttered.

"Did I ask you that?" Mr. Martin said.

"No, sir. I didn't know that he died. I'm sorry about that," she sighed heavily.

"Mrs. Garris, why did you leave the hospital against doctor's orders?"

"I had to say good-bye."

"Good-bye to whom?"

"Matthew. I needed to say good-bye. He was my husband. I needed to say good-bye."

"Mrs. Garris, earlier you admitted that you killed Amanda Shapone."

"Yes, I did."

"But you state that you don't remember."

"No, sir, I don't remember. She killed John, Mary, and Matthew."

"You beat her head in with a cast iron pan from the fire and yet, you don't remember? You hit her twenty times in the head. You hit her even after she was dead, and you can't remember?"

"No, sir. I don't remember," she started to cry. "She killed my friends and she killed my Matthew. I don't remember. Damn it! I don't remember, but YES, I'M GLAD THAT SHE'S DEAD!" Alexis stopped. "She killed the only man I ever loved. She killed my Matthew and she took our lives away from us."

"Don't you think that you should pay for your crime?"

"Mr. Martin. Yes, I do. And I'm paying for my crime. I'll never forget what happened that night. I'll never forget what she did or why I did what I did. Yes, she's dead, but so is my Matthew."

"Your honor, I've no further questions for this witness," Mr. Martin sat down.

"Mr. Abrams, do you wish to redirect?"

"No, sir."

"Mrs. Garris, you may take your seat?"

Alexis sat down next to John.

"Mr. Abrams, do you have any more witnesses?"

"No, sir. The defense rests."

He banged the gavel down. "Closing arguments tomorrow at nine AM."

Commotion filled the courtroom. "John, I'm sorry," Alexis cried.

"You told the truth. That's all that matters. I'm sorry that I didn't know about the Officer."

"That's OK. The past always haunts you, no matter what. I'll see you tomorrow," Alexis stood up as Walter cuffed her.

Later that evening, Walter led her back to the cell and locked the door. He smiled at her as she lay down. "Good night, Walter," she whispered.

"Good night, Alexis."

### 10

WALTER LED HER into the empty courtroom. She sat down at the table and looked up at him. "Why are we here so early?" she asked.

"Alexis, I just figured you needed some time without the bars."

"Thanks, Walter. I appreciate it."

"No, Alexis. Thank you. You didn't say a word."

"Walter, I'd never do anything to hurt you. I'll never say a word about it," she laid her head on the table. "Thank you for the silence."

"I'll be over by the door if you need me," he walked away.

She closed her eyes and let the tears stream down her face.

"I have to go, Em. Please, I have to say good-bye."

"Alexis, you're still recuperating. You could die," Emily pleaded with her.

"Em, I need to say good-bye to my husband," Alexis cried.

"OK. I did bring you some clothes. Alexis, what if you get caught?"

"I don't care. I'm not hiding. I'm going to a funeral. I need to see my Matthew," she stared at the rings on her finger. "Em, please take these, though."

"Your rings? No, I can't."

"Please, make sure Matthew gets them. I don't know if I'll be able to do it. Please, he needs them. They're better off with him."

"But you keep everything he ever gave you," Emily cried.

"Em, if I go to jail or prison, I can't take them with me. Please, give them to Matthew. He'll keep them safe, forever," Alexis cried, as she slipped them off her finger and handed them to Emily. "Take care of them, please."

"I will," Emily hugged her. "Let's go say good-bye."

Alexis stood over Matthew's casket and cried. She gently touched his face and kissed him on his cold, lifeless mouth. "Oh, baby. I can't live without you. You promised me you wouldn't die. It's not fair. You left me. You swore that you'd never leave," she cried harder. "I love you, Matthew. I'll always love you," she dropped to her knees as she clutched onto the casket. "No, Matthew, no."

"Alexis Garris?" A voice said from behind her. She didn't respond, she continued to hold on to the casket.

"Alexis Garris? You're under arrest," he said.

She turned slowly toward the voice. "Not here, please," she whispered.

"You need to go back to the hospital," the officer said.

"Please, I need to say good-bye," she looked at him. "Jack? Is that you?"

"Yes, Alexis. It's me," he smiled softly. "I'm sorry, but I have to place you under arrest."

"Can we do this outside? Please, Jack? I'm burying my husband today."

"Of course. Please come with me," he took her hand and led her outside of the funeral home. "I'm sorry, Alexis. But I have to place you under arrest and bring you back to the hospital until you're ready to go to jail."

"What's the charge, Jack?"

"Manslaughter. Alexis Garris, You're under arrest for the murder of Amanda Shapone. You have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford one, one will be appointed for you. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. Do you understand these rights?"

"Yes, Jack. I knew it would happen eventually. Please, just take me back to the hospital."

"I'm sorry, Alexis."

"Jack, don't worry about it. I'm sorry for anything I've ever done to hurt you. Please, take me back to the hospital."

"Alexis, are you all right?" John asked.

She lifted her head up. "Yeah, John, fine. Just thinking about Matthew's funeral."

"I'm surprised that they didn't ask you about Officer Jack Theisen."

"Yeah, me, too. But he's still alive, so his story probably matches mine. Jack's a good cop and a good man."

"Alexis, this is almost over," John touched her hand.

"Good. I can't handle much more."

"I did talk to a Mark Dix yesterday."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah. I guess Emily hired them. They didn't find anything new either."

"That's OK. There's nothing to find," Alexis sighed. "So, what happens after closing arguments?"

"Mr. Martin will do his first and then I'll do mine. After that, the case goes to the jury, and then we just wait until a verdict comes in," John explained.

"What's a good time frame for the jury?"

"I don't know. You can never really tell," Jason sighed.

The courtroom started to fill up with spectators and reporters. Alexis watched as Greg entered and sat down. He put his head down and refused to look at her. She knew at that moment, that he didn't love her anymore. In fact, he hated her. But who could blame him.

"All rise," the bailiff said, as the judge entered the courtroom. "Please be seated."

"Mr. Martin, are you ready for your closing arguments?"

"Yes, your honor," he stood up and walked over in front of the jury box. "Ladies and gentlemen, here you have Alexis Rossi-Garris, a woman who murdered another woman in cold blood. Yes, Amanda Shapone killed her husband and two best friends, but Alexis took matters into her own hands. No, she took justice into her own hands. She slammed a cast iron pan into Amanda's head, twenty times. Self-defense, I think not. It was the second blow that caused the death of Amanda Shapone."

He took a sip of water and continued. "Alexis Garris has a history, a very intimate history with police officers. She figured that she could hide her guilt by using her influence with them to not file charges. She was wrong. Dead wrong. Even her money couldn't buy her out of this one. Do what you think is right. Find Alexis Rossi Garris guilty of Manslaughter in the first degree. Thank you."

Mr. Martin took his seat and smiled at John. "All yours," he whispered.

John stood up and walked over to the jury. "Ladies and Gentlemen, on a warm, summer's day, Alexis, Matthew, John, Amanda, Mary, and Greg went camping. Six of them arrived, however, only two of them left. Amanda Shapone took it upon herself to try and kill my client, Alexis Garris. In her psychotic mind, she butchered John and Mary Reardon, only because they made the mistake of sleeping in the wrong tent. The intended victim was Alexis Garris. Autopsy reports show that John woke up during his wife's attack. He witnessed the brutal death of his beloved wife, before he, himself, was killed."

John took a deep breath and continued. "When Matthew tried to protect his wife, he was killed. He died in his wife's arms. My client was stabbed. Of course, she retaliated, in order to save her own life. She just found out what horrible things that Mrs. Shapone was capable of. If Amanda Shapone was alive today, she'd be sitting in that chair over there," he pointed to Alexis. "And, we would be trying her for at least four counts of murder one."

He paused and took a deep breath. "Yes, years prior to marrying Matthew Garris, Alexis had several relationships. Yes, six of them were police officers. So? Alexis was not with those officers because she knew that eight or nine years later, her husband would be murdered, or even that her friends would be murdered by a close friend who wanted to kill her. She could not predict that she'd be standing trial for a murder that happened because she tried to save her life. If her intent were to kill Amanda, she would NOT have waited until her husband was dead. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is a clear case of self-defense. What would you have done, if it happened to you? Thank you," John took his seat.

The judge looked at the jury. "You may now go into the other room for your deliberations," The twelve jurors walked quietly out of the room. "This court's in recess until the jury reaches a verdict."

Alexis took a deep breath. "John, do I have to go back to my cell?"

"No, why don't we wait here at least until the end of the day. If there's no verdict, you can go back at five."

She hugged him. "Thank you, John. I know that I've been giving you more problems in the past six months than I have, ever in my life," she looked at Jason. "I'm sorry. Jason, I just want to go to prison and have it over with."

Jason looked into her eyes. "Alexis, you're not going to prison."

"But I killed a woman," she sobbed.

"Alexis, I know. I wish I could've proved otherwise, but, honey, you don't need the rest of your life taken away because of this."

"Jason, the minute Matthew's hand dropped, my life was taken away. Matthew was my life."

"Alexis, I know Matthew. He'd want you to be happy. I understand your grief is so deep, and, no, it won't ever go away. But you can't let the grief lead your life."

"Jason, it doesn't matter anymore."

"Yes, Alexis, it does. And when you're out of here, when you're free, you need to stay focused on the future. You can't go back to the past."

"Jason, I don't know what you mean."

"Alexis, I'm talking about your past before Matthew. Please, don't self-destruct. I know what you do when you're in pain. You need to find some other way to deal with it."

"Jason, I can only take life one day at a time. I can't promise anything other than that."

Jason kissed her cheek. "We're going to grab something to eat. Officer Wheeler will stay here with you," John motioned to Walter.

Walter stood behind her as she laid her head on the table. A few minutes later, the door opened. "Um, excuse me, officer? Can I speak with Mrs. Garris please?" A man asked.

Alexis turned around. "Mr. Dix?" She looked up at Walter. "Can you just give us a minute?"

Walter nodded and walked over to the door as Mark Dix approached her.

"Mrs. Garris, I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry about our investigation. I thought for sure that something would've come out of it."

"Mr. Dix, don't worry about it. You can't prove otherwise, because I did it. I killed Amanda Shapone."

"Please, it's Mark."

"Oh, well, call me Alexis," she smiled. "Please, take a seat."

"I, well, we, my brother, Mike and I, wanted to help you. We knew your husband. He was a great man and a good friend. He used our services a lot. We did small investigations and things like that for his business."

"Oh, well, he was a good man. I'm glad that you got the chance to know him."

Mark smiled. "Yes, he did love the Marines, didn't he?"

Alexis laughed slightly. "Yeah, he really did."

"I'm sorry to bring it up. I don't mean to upset you."

"Oh, please, no. I like hearing about Matthew. It's really OK."

"Does his friend know? What'd he call him? JC?"

"I don't know. We, um, tried to contact him a few years ago, but he had left Arizona. I don't know where he is."

"Oh, well, I'm sorry that we couldn't help you. But I want you to know that if you ever, ever need our help, please feel free to call us. Alexis, Matthew was a really good friend. We're so sorry for your loss," he kissed her cheek and smiled. "Good luck," he got up and left the courtroom.

Alexis smiled as she wiped the oncoming tears. "Yes, he was a good man," she gulped heavily as Walter walked back to her.

"Are you all right?" he sat next to her.

"No. But you knew that already."

He ran his hands lovingly up and down her back. "It'll be OK."

John and Jason came running into the courtroom and Walter jumped up. "Alexis, the verdict's in," John said.

"All ready? It's been what? An hour?"

"Forty-five minutes. I'm sorry. We got tied up with reporters outside. No time for lunch right now."

Commotion filled the courtroom and Alexis nervously ran her hand back and forth over her forehead.

"All rise," the bailiff said, as the judge entered the room.

He nodded to the bailiff and he let the jury enter the room.

As the twelve jurors took their seats, anticipated silence filled the room. "Mr. Foreperson, have you reached a verdict?"

"Yes, your honor," The thin man stood up, eyes focused on his paper.

"Will the defendant please rise?" The judge then looked at the jury. "Please hand the verdict to the bailiff."

The bailiff walked the paper over to the judge, he looked at it for a second and then handed it back. "Mr. Foreperson, please read the verdict."

"On the sole count of the indictment, Manslaughter in the first degree, we, the jury, find the defendant, Alexis Rossi Garris, Not Guilty."

Alexis collapsed in her chair "No, guilty," she whispered. John held her tightly.

Commotion filled the courtroom as reporters ran out into the corridor. Emily ran up to her and embraced her.

"Em, they're wrong," she whispered.

"No, Alexis, they're not wrong."

"But..."

"No, buts. I'm taking you home."

Alexis stood up and watched as Greg left the courtroom. She closed her eyes as tears streamed down her face. Walter smiled at her and waved. "Good-bye, Alexis," he walked out of the courtroom.

"But, where's home, Em?"

"I don't know. Tonight, you can stay with us. We'll figure out tomorrow, tomorrow."

"But, I've some things, personal things, in my cell."

John put his arm around her. "I'll get them for you. Don't worry. They'll be sent to the house. You do have to eventually go there and decide what you want to do."

"Just not now."

Emily wrapped her arms around Alexis as they led her out of the courtroom.

"How does it feel to get away with murder?" One reporter asked.

Alexis walked as fast as she could through the crowd of reporters as they yelled questions at her.

"So, money can buy freedom, can't it? The heiress has been found not guilty," another yelled.

"No comment," John said, as he pushed them through the crowd.

"So, what are you going to do now, Mrs. Garris? Find a cop, or just another Marine?" a third one yelled.

Alexis turned around as anger filled her eyes. "I've something to say, so you all should shut up and listen! I don't want you to miss this quote. My husband was brutally murdered. My two best friends were butchered. I'll be in my own prison for the rest of my life. My money has always only been used to provide people jobs, home, or a safe place to go. Yes, I killed a woman, but she killed my husband. So, quote that and get it right the first time," she got into Emily's car and slammed the door.

### 11

EMILY PULLED UP to the end of the driveway. Alexis slowly got out of the car and stared at her home. "Oh, Em, I don't know how to walk in those doors."

"Just a couple of things, honey, before you go in," she said.

"What, Em? What's wrong?"

"With the exception of all the food, everything in the house is the same as you and Matthew left it."

"His truck and your car are still in the garage and everything's the same," Emily sighed. "We couldn't go through your things."

"That's OK. I have to do it. I don't want to, but I have to," Alexis looked at her. "I can do this, but I have to do it alone."

"What are you going to do?"

"Em, I don't really know yet. I know that I can't stay in Pennsylvania any longer. I have to move on. I don't know who I am anymore. Matthew was the better part of me," she smiled slightly. "I can do this. I'll call you later."

"Are you sure, honey?"

"Yeah, I'm sure," Emily watched as Alexis walked down the long driveway to her home. Alexis opened the door as Emily drove away.

Alexis took a deep breath before entering. "Here goes nothing."

She walked down the long entryway to the kitchen and looked around. She could still smell Matthew's horrible coffee. He may have been a great cook, but his coffee was terrible. She imagined him standing behind the counter, singing as he prepared breakfast.

Tears streamed down her face as her body shook. "No, I can do this," she quickly wiped them away and walked out to the living room.

She sat down on the sofa and scanned the room with her tear-filled eyes. She stood up quickly and headed out to the garage. She stopped when she saw Matthew's truck. She gently ran her fingertips over the truck. She opened the door and sat in the driver's seat. She laid the seat back and took a deep breath. "Matthew, I can still smell you," she closed her eyes as she ran her hands over the leather seats. "I can't do this anymore. I have to get out of here. You're everywhere. But, yet, you're not really here."

She grabbed a few boxes from the corner of the garage and started going through Matthew's truck. As she was cleaning, she noticed something on the floorboard. She picked up the bracelet that she gave him for his birthday. She clasped it in her hands and held it to her heart. "I'll keep this for you, baby," she put it in her pocket and continued her work until the truck was empty.

She walked over to her car and pulled it in front of the house. She loaded a few boxes in the trunk.

She grabbed a few more empty boxes and headed in the house. She quickly grabbed all of the photographs off of the mantel and placed them in the box. She grabbed a few books and albums and placed them in another box. She stared at the entertainment center and cautiously opened the door. She grabbed all of the videotapes and put them in the box.

She was about to head to the bedroom when there was a knock on the door. There stood Officer Capshaw.

"Officer, what are you doing here?" Alexis asked. "Did I do something else wrong?"

"No, Garris," he smiled. "I wanted to bring your personal items to you. I–I also wanted to apologize for the way I treated you."

"Don't worry about it. Why didn't Officer Wheeler bring the stuff over?" she asked.

He handed her the box. "He took a short leave. He said he needed a break. After all, he did work all those hours."

"Well, when you see him, will you tell him thank you for me?"

"Yes, Garris, I will. Alexis, take care of yourself," he extended his hand.

"Thank you, sir," she held the box as she watched him leave.

She brought the box into the living room and went through it. She pulled out the book, William Shakespeare's book of Sonnets, and ran her hand over the cover. "Thank you, Walter. Have a good life," she whispered. She placed the book inside the box with her other books.

She looked around the house. It now seemed so empty, though it was still full of furniture. She brought the boxes out to her car and came back into the house.

She went into the office and sat behind the desk. She thumbed through the files on the desk. She picked up the phone. "Jason, it's Alexis."

"What's wrong? Where are you?"

"Jason, I'm fine. I'm at the house. I'll be leaving in a couple of days, but I have to finalize all the business stuff first."

"Do you want me to come over?"

"Yes, please. I need all the reports. I think I know whose offer I'm going to accept for the Garris Engineering Foundation."

"Oh, OK. I'll be there soon."

"Good," Alexis hung up. She looked through the filing cabinets, pulled out a few important files, and placed them in a box. She turned on the computer and stared at it as it booted up. She watched as the screensaver of her and Matthew scrolled across the screen. She shook the mouse angrily to make it stop. She grabbed a few CDs and started burning the files to them and then she placed them in the box. As she was burning the last CD, Jason walked in.

"Alexis, are you OK?"

"Yes, Jason. I'm fine," she said. "I'm just burning a few CDs. I really don't know where I'm going, but I wanted to make sure that I have what I need with me. The rest of these files, I'd like you to stored them for me. You never know when I may need them."

Jason sat down in front of her. "Alexis, I brought the papers you wanted."

"Good. Jason, I need to talk to you about something."

"What is it?"

She took a deep breath, pulled her hair back into a loose bun, and transformed herself into her business form. "I want six different accounts set up."

"Six? You already have ten," John said.

"Is the lawsuit over? Did Greg take the 10 million?"

"Yes, Alexis, he did."

"What's left?"

He leaned back in the chair. "Well, there's 30 from the estate."

"What else?"

"Well, there's Matthew's insurance policy. That's about two million. Whatever you get for the sale of the Engineering firm and then you still have the Gift Shop. About the Gift Shop, are you keeping it?"

"Yeah, Emily needs something. She's still my partner. She can run it. That's one of the accounts I want set up. Emily can do what she wants with her profits. I want half of my profits sent to one account."

"What about the other half?"

"I want a dummy insurance account set up. I want the funds dispersed monthly to John and Mary's family. They can't know that it comes from me."

"Understood. What amount do you want to start out with?"

"Ten million."

"Ten million?"

"Why should only Greg get something out of the deal?" She muttered. "I'm sorry, but, yes, I want that set up."

"What about the other accounts?"

"I want two accounts set up for donations and things like that. I'm still going to help people, Jason."

"And the other two?"

"Well, I want a checking account. Start out with about six hundred thousand dollars. I think I'm going to do some traveling. If I don't have to touch it, I won't. Believe me. I'm still going to work for my money."

"What's the last account for, Alexis?"

"The proceeds from the sale of Matthew's, um, shop, as he called it," she smiled slightly.

"I'll take care of this for you."

"Thanks, Jason," she sighed heavily.

"One more thing, Alexis."

"What is it?"

"The Rossi Carpet Saver Incorporation."

"Jason, Alfred's doing a great job. I was never into it very much, and I'm sorry about that. Mom loved that company. Just keep it as it is. Do me a favor. Sell my shares to the employees. Offer market price to anyone who wants them. Divide them up any way you feel necessary."

Jason stood up and opened his briefcase. "Um, Alexis, here's the album. I completed it at the conclusion of your trial. Are you sure you want it?"

"Yes, Jason," she took the album and stared at the etched writing. "My Former life?"

"Alexis, you need to find something for yourself now. Matthew's gone. I'm not getting any younger. Your family is gone. I want you to be happy. You need to get out there in the world and do what you have to make yourself happy. It's time to write a new life for yourself," he kissed her cheek.

"I'll try," she sighed.

"Alexis, just don't self-destruct in the process."

"Jason, thank you for everything. I don't know what I'd do without you and Emily."

"She's a good kid. I like her," he smiled.

"Take care of her while I'm gone, please."

"I will. When you leave, at least stay in touch with her. Remember, besides her husband, you're all she has left, too."

"I know," she stood up and hugged him. "Thanks, Jason, for being my dad."

He touched her face. "Just doing my job. I'll always be right here for you. I'll see you later."

"I'll see you soon, I hope," she leaned back in her chair and watched Jason leave the house. She stared at the album and placed it in the box. Now was not the time to open it.

She picked up the phone as she looked at the number for the Welch Corporation. She took a deep breath. "Yes, this is Alexis Garris. I need to make an appointment with either Steven or Paul Welch. They made an offer on one of my companies and I'd like to discuss it."

"Oh, yes, Mrs. Garris," the woman said. "Steven had a stop in New Jersey today, and tomorrow he'll be in Pennsylvania for a few hours before he heads back to Arizona."

"Good. I'll meet with him at any time."

"I can set it up for nine A.M. He'll be working out of the Hilton. They have a conference room and office set up for him there."

"Good. I'll be there. Thank you very much," she hung up the phone. She gathered the boxes and files and headed to her car.

She knew that she had one last room to go through. She pulled her hair out of the bun and sighed. Slowly, she opened the bedroom door.

"Come on, baby, wake up," Alexis said, as she rolled on top of Matthew.

"What time is it?" he asked groggily.

"Time to get up, baby."

"Why? It's Saturday. Neither one of us have to work," he tried to roll back over.

"I never said anything about work," she kissed him softly on the mouth.

"Is this how all our mornings are going to be?"

"Oh, yeah," she kissed him again. "It's been a week since we've been in our new home. I wanted to celebrate."

He held her tightly and kissed her. "I guess I could be persuaded to celebrate with you."

"You guess?" She kissed him softly and ran her hands down his chest. "How's this for persuasion?"

Alexis dropped on the bed and held Matthew's pillow tightly. "Oh, baby. I can't do this alone. I can't live without you," she cried. "I don't want to live anymore," she closed her eyes as the tears forcefully rolled from her eyes.

###  12

ALEXIS WOKE UP still lying in her bed. She looked around the room and realized that it wasn't a dream. Matthew was still gone. He was still dead. She hugged his pillow tightly and tried to breathe in his scent.

She sat up wearily and glanced at the clock. "Oh, god, six A.M," she whispered. She dragged herself out of bed and headed for the bathroom.

After she took her shower, she stared at the clothes in the closet. There hung all of Matthew's suits. She ran her hands over the fabric and then stopped. "No, I have to get ready. I have to get out of here."

She pulled out all of her clothes and laid them on the bed. She pulled out her business suit and got dressed. Then she packed the rest of her clothes in suitcases. She opened her dresser and pulled out her jewelry box. She opened the false bottom. She took out a small velvet box and placed Matthew's bracelet carefully inside. She put the box back in the jewelry box. She packed that, along with some photographs, in the suitcases.

She took the suitcases out to her car and went back in the house for one last look. She picked up the phone and called Jason. "Jason, it's Alexis. I'm heading off to the Hilton to meet with Mr. Welch."

"Alexis, what time is it?"

"I don't know, about eight or so. After my meeting, I'm leaving. Put the house, truck, and furniture up for sale. Emily can take what she wants of Matthew's and then donate the rest. I can't stay here anymore."

"I thought you weren't leaving until tomorrow."

"Jason, I can't stay here anymore. It was too long of a night here. I can't do another one like that. I'll drop the paperwork off at your office before I leave. I'll see you soon."

Alexis walked outside. She closed and locked the door. She walked to the backyard and stared at the mountain view. "Good-bye, Matthew," she whispered, as she touched her chest.

She slowly sat in her silver BMW and drove away, not looking back.

She sat in the parking lot of the Hilton and stared at herself in the rearview mirror. She pulled her hair up and placed it in a loose bun. "Business time," she whispered.

She grabbed her briefcase and headed up the stairs of the hotel. She walked over to the front desk. "Yes, I'm here to see Mr. Steven Welch."

"Oh," the desk clerk just stared at her. "Um, yes."

"Don't stare at me! Just tell me where he is!"

"He's in the conference room down the hall over there. Are you sure he knows that _you're_ meeting with him?"

She looked at his nametag. "Um, Carl, yes, Mr. Welch knows that I'm here. I wouldn't give me any problems! If you do, I'll buy this damn hotel just to fire your ass!" She stormed down the hall and shook her head.

She carefully knocked on the door. "Um, Mr. Welch," she walked in slowly. "I'm Alexis Garris."

He stood up and ran his hands through his sandy hair. "Yes, Ms. Garris. I'm Steven Welch."

She smiled slightly. "Thank you for meeting with me on such short notice."

"Not a problem. I hear you want to accept our offer."

"Yes," she shook his hand. "I'll sell you the Garris Engineering Foundation on one condition."

"Which is what?" he asked, as they both sat down.

"All the current employees get to keep their jobs," she crossed her long legs.

"Ms. Garris, I've no intention of letting anyone lose their jobs," he smiled.

"Good. My husband worked very hard to build that firm. I don't want anything to happen to it," she sighed.

"It won't. I promise. Actually, my brother, Paul, will be handling that company. He's out of the country right now, that's why I'm taking care of this."

"Good. I've had a contract drawn up. We can sign this. My attorney, Jason Abrams, will complete the transactions. I'll be leaving town right after this meeting."

Steven looked over the paperwork and signed his name. He handed the papers back to Alexis. "Looks like everything's in order," he smiled.

She signed her name and stood up. "Thank you, Mr. Welch. It was good doing business with you," she started to walk away. "I hope that we can do business again sometime."

"Me, too. Mrs. Garris, I heard about your trouble. I'm sorry about your husband."

"Thank you, sir. Have a safe trip home," she said, as she walked out.

She headed to Jason's office. She slowly walked down the corridor and all the employees stared at her. She shook her head as she opened Jason's door. "Jason, here you go. Signed, sealed, and delivered. Mr. Welch just needs the account information. He'll wire the money."

Jason stood up. "Alexis, are you sure you have to leave?"

"Yeah, Jason," she walked over and hugged him. "I do."

"Please, keep in touch."

"I will. Jason, any financial stuff, will you keep Emily updated on? I trust you with everything, even my life, but I'd feel better if more than one person knew what was going on."

"No problem. Are you going to see her?"

"Yes, I'm headed to the Gift Shop now. No, I can't walk in there. Will you call her and tell her that I'm on my way? Please, just have her wait outside."

"Yes, honey," he hugged her. "Take care of yourself."

"Please tell John that I said good-bye and thank you. I promise. I'll take care of myself," Alexis walked out the door and headed to the A&M gift shop.

She slowly pulled across the street from the A & M Gift Shop. There was no way she could ever walk in those doors again.

Emily walked over to the car and Alexis got out. "Em, I'm sorry, but I have to leave."

"I understand. It's OK, Alexis. I love you. Please, just let me know where you are."

"I will. Jason will keep you informed and share all the financial information. Em, I'll only let you know where I am. Please, take care of things for me."

"Did you say good-bye to Matthew?"

"No. I can't go there," she sighed. "Em, if I ever find a place to call home, I'll bring him there. I just need to figure out what I'm going to do. I need to find myself again. Alexis Garris is dead."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. Right now, Jane Doe is headed nowhere, fast," Alexis hugged her. "Good-bye, Em," she got back in the car and headed toward the highway.

### 13

AFTER DRIVING FOR hours, she pulled into a small motel off an exit ramp in Ohio. She got a room and then changed her clothes. She walked out to the front desk. "Um, excuse me. Can you tell me where the nearest police station is?"

"Yes, ma'am," she smiled at her. "There's one about twenty miles from here."

"Twenty miles?" She sighed heavily.

"Yeah. Is there a problem?"

"No, no problem," Alexis started to turn away.

"Ma'am, if you need any assistance, there's a State Trooper that patrols the area. He stops by usually around six PM. He eats in the diner and then heads on his way. If it can wait, I'm sure he could help you."

Alexis smiled. "Six PM, huh? Thank you." Alexis headed back to her room. "Hmmm, time for a change," she whispered. She looked at herself in the mirror. "Good-bye, Alexis. Hello..." She thought for a moment, _who? Who am I?_ She smiled. "Today, my name's Jane," she laughed.

At around five-thirty, she headed to the diner. She sat at the booth closest to the door and waited. She had no idea what to expect, but she didn't care anymore. She stared out the window and watched as the trooper's car pulled in.

An older man with graying hair adjusted his belt as he walked into the diner.

She smiled as she watched him sit down. She gazed at his left hand, as she noticed that it was bare. She took a deep breath and walked over to him. "Um, excuse me, officer?" She smiled at him.

"Yes, ma'am, can I help you?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bother you. I'm sure that you get this all of the time, but I wanted to say that you've taken my breath away," she smiled.

"Ma'am?" he stood up. "Please, have a seat."

She sat down across from him. "I'm sorry. I don't usually do this," she flirted. "But when you walked in, I couldn't help but notice you."

He smiled and took her hand. "Did you have something in mind?"

"For the record, I'm not a prostitute or anything. I'm just passing through town, and, well, I saw you," she smiled. "I'm Jane."

He looked at her. "I didn't think anything of the sort. I do have to admit, at my age I don't get hit on very often. Especially, in my uniform," he blushed.

"You don't look old and the uniform, well, it was what drew me to you. I'm sorry. I guess I just have a minor thing for cops," she licked her lips.

"Jane," he touched her face. "Just passing through town, huh?"

"Yeah. I'm on my way to Detroit."

"How long are you going to be here?"

"How long do you want me to stay?" She flirted. "I'm staying at that small motel across the street. Room 96. If you're interested, please stop by," she stood up and left the diner.

He watched her leave and then walked quickly to her room. He knocked nervously. "May I come in?"

She pulled him in the room and shut the door. She ran her hands over his chest and pulled off his badge. She held it in her hands as he had sex with her.

He sat up and looked at her as she lay on the bed. "Jane, will you be around?"

"No, Tom. I'm on my way to Detroit. But, thank you for tonight," she smiled.

He looked around. "Have you seen my badge?"

"No, but if I find it, I'll leave it at the station for you," she stood up and wrapped the sheet around her. She kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry."

He touched her face and smiled. "Jane, or should I say, Alexis, I understand."

"Oh, you know who I am?" she whispered.

"Followed the trial," he smiled. "I understand what it's like to need something. Good luck, if you're ever back in town, please call me. Here's my card," he kissed her cheek and left the room.

Alexis stared at the badge on the floor. "Can't keep this," she ran to the door and opened it. "Tom!" she yelled.

He turned around and looked at her. "Badge?"

"Yeah. Here you go."

He walked up to her and removed it slowly from her hands. "It's OK," he smiled.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"Don't worry about it," he walked back toward the diner.

She closed the door and lay on the bed, _what the hell am_ I _doing?_ She sat up quickly, _forgetting_. I _just need to forget._

The next morning, she packed her car up and headed to Detroit. After driving almost six hours, she stopped at a local grocery store and picked up a few things, such as hair color.

She felt as if someone was following her, but that's just not possible. She looked around and there were only strangers behind her. Even when she looked at herself, she saw only a stranger.

### Michigan
### 14

SHE CONTINUED ON to Detroit. She stopped at a rest area a few miles outside of the city. She went into the restroom and dyed her hair. "Red," she smiled. "Maybe this time no one will recognize me," she cried silently.

She drove to the Hilton in downtown Detroit. She slowly walked up the stairs and headed over to the desk clerk. She waited in line and smiled at the back of the man in front of her. "Hmmm, not bad for a civilian," she whispered.

After he walked away, the desk clerk stopped him. "Um, Mr. O'Roark, you forgot your extra key."

He turned around and grabbed the key. "Thanks."

Alexis watched the man walk away. She shook her head slightly. "No, can't be him," she stood at the desk. "Yes, you have a reservation for Jane Gardner."

"Yes, ma'am. You're in suite 1109," he handed her the keys. "Enjoy your stay."

She smiled. "Thank you," she said, as she headed toward her room.

She dropped down in the sofa and turned on the television. She stared at it as she flipped through the channels. She stood up quickly and gazed out the window. "Now what? What the hell do I do now?" She changed her clothes and headed down to the street.

She turned around quickly, _who's following me?_ She wondered. I _must be going crazy,_ she thought. She walked for a while until she found the local police station. She looked up and down the street and noticed O'Malley's Bar and Pub across the way. She went inside and sat down at the bar.

"Um, vodka, straight up, please," she ordered.

The bartender smiled and gave her the drink. "New in town?" he asked.

"Yeah, you could say that."

"Oh, so, what do you think of Detroit so far?"

"Actually, this is the first place I've been, except for the hotel. It's so quiet in here."

He laughed. "They haven't gotten off shift yet."

"They?"

"The cops. Not to scare you, but this is a cop bar. If you're looking for something other than hanging out with a bunch of cops, you don't want to be here."

"Hmmm, cops? Really? Cops don't bother me one bit," she laughed.

"Good. What's your name?" he leaned on the bar.

"Jane. Jane Gardner."

"Nice to meet you, Jane," he shook her hand. "I'm Evan. Actually, it's Detective Evan Jones," he laughed.

"You're a cop and a bartender?" She touched his hand lightly.

"Yeah. Well, I own the bar. I bartend during day, and I work the night shift at the precinct," he bragged.

"That's so cool," she leaned into his words.

"You do look familiar. Do I know you?"

"No, I'd definitely remember you," she flirted as she noticed his empty ring finger.

He smiled his crooked smile and ran his hands through his short, dark hair. "Jane, are you involved with anyone?"

"No, I haven't been involved with anyone in a long time. Why do you ask?"

"I was wondering, well, since you're new in town, well, I could show you around. Maybe take you to dinner or something."

"I'd like that," she took a large sip of her drink. "I'm staying at the Hilton. Room 1109. I'd really like that."

"How about I pick you up around six tonight? I don't have to work tonight."

"Sounds great. I'll see you then," she finished her drink and walked back toward the hotel. She noticed a few dress shops on her way and stopped in. She bought a few outfits and headed back to her hotel room.

She showered and got dressed in her new short black dress. She opened the door when there was a knock at it. "You look nice," she said.

"You look really great," Evan smiled.

"Thanks, but can you do me a favor? Can you zip me up please?" She lifted her red hair as he zipped up her dress.

"You really look great."

"Please, have a seat. I'll be ready in a moment."

He sat down and smiled at her. "Jane, I have to tell you that I don't normally pick up women that come into my bar, but there was something about you."

She sat next to him as she put on her shoes. "Evan, I'm not one to go out looking either. I do have to tell you something, though."

"What is it?"

"Well, I've always been, well, attracted to a certain kind of man," she flirted.

"What kind?"

"Cops," she whispered.

"Oh, really?" he leaned over and touched her face. "So, you like the fact that I'm a detective?"

"Yeah. I've never been with a detective before. Where is your badge, anyway?"

He smiled and took off his jacket. "On my belt, where it always is. On duty or off," he smiled.

She touched the silver badge that hung from his belt. "That's very, very nice," she whispered.

"Jane," he whispered. "Can I kiss you?"

"I wish you would," she pulled him close to her and he kissed her tenderly.

He smiled. "Is this it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Am I going to be a one-night stand for you?"

"Do you want that?"

He shook his head. "You're very attractive. I'd like to spend more than one night with you."

"Well, I'm planning on staying in Detroit for a little while. Evan, I can't commit to a relationship, but if you want to just have some fun for a while, I can do that," she smiled.

"I'd like that," he took her hand. "Let's get something to eat."

After dinner, she took him back to her room. She sat down on the sofa and draped her legs across his. "Are you sure you want to be here with me?"

"Yes, Jane, I do," he smiled. "I don't want to be anywhere else."

"You know nothing about me, yet, you want to be here," she touched his face.

"I don't need to know anything more than what you want to tell me. I know that your name's not Jane, but that's all I know."

"How do you know my name's not Jane?"

"You don't look like a Jane," he smiled. "But it doesn't matter."

"You're a cop and it doesn't matter? Aren't you curious?"

"Oh, well, curious? Yes, curious, but I don't care. I just want to hold you and know that feeling of doing so," he stood up and held her. "Can I? Please?"

"Yes," she whispered, as she led him to the bedroom of the suite.

He took off his suit jacket and lay her down on the bed. She ran her hands over his badge that hung from his belt and pulled him close to her.

He slowly and carefully, removed her dress and lightly ran his fingers down her chest. He ran his hands down her back slightly and she shuttered when he touched her scar.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"That's OK," she kissed him hard on the mouth.

The next morning, she rolled over and touched his face. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

He opened his eyes. "Don't be sorry. I understand," he smiled. "Are you saying good-bye?"

"No, not if you don't want me to."

"No, Jane, I don't want to you leave. I'd like to see you again," he sat up and started to get dressed. "I wouldn't mind for this to happen again."

"It will," she sighed. "Evan, thank you."

He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "I have to work tonight. I go to the precinct right from the bar. Feel free to stop in later for a drink. I leave at five."

"Do you want to come here after your shift tonight?"

"Why don't you stop by the precinct at around ten tonight?" he smiled. "I'll show you what I do. Maybe you'll come up with another fantasy."

"I'll see you at four," she walked him to the door and closed it after he left.

She went into the bathroom and stepped into the shower. "Oh, god, what am I doing?" she cried, as the hot water streamed down her body. "Someone save me."

She got out of the shower and lay on the bed. She leaned over, picked up the phone, and dialed.

"A&M Gift shop, this is Emily."

"Em, it's Alexis."

"Alexis, are you OK?"

She started to cry. "No, I'm not OK. I don't know what I'm doing."

"Honey, why don't you come home?"

"I can't. I can't live there without Matthew," she sighed. "I'm doing things, Em. I'm doing things I can't help."

"Stay away from the cops, Alexis."

"How'd you know?"

"Self-destruction. You know what'll happen. You're going to lose yourself in your fantasies. You can't do that. You need to stay grounded. That way you know what's real."

"He's a nice cop, though. He's a detective."

"Alexis, I can't tell you what to do. Just don't get into trouble, OK."

"Thanks, Em. I'll talk to you soon."

Alexis hung up the phone and got dressed. She headed down to the lobby when she bumped into Mr. O'Roark. She looked at him for a minute. "Oh, I'm sorry."

He smiled softly and then kept walking. "No, problem, ma'am."

She decided to go out for a long walk. She needed to clear her head. Who's following me? She had that feeling again. Someone is following me.

### 15

ALEXIS STARED OUT the window of her hotel room. Evan wrapped his arms around her. "Jane, are you all right?"

"Evan, I'm sorry, but I need to leave Detroit now," she looked at him with her sad eyes.

"I know, you do. I'm sorry," he kissed her cheek. "Jane, it's OK. I knew this wouldn't last, but I did enjoy myself."

"So, did I. You helped me forget a few things," she sat down on the sofa. "I'm sorry that I'm leaving."

"Jane, it's OK. I know what you're doing. It's OK. I'm glad that I could be here for a little while to help you."

"You did, Evan. You really did," she sighed. "I still can't shake this feeling about being followed. I know you must think I'm crazy."

"No, I don't," he touched her face. "You need something to protect yourself with."

"I can't get a gun. Believe me, I can't."

He smiled. "Yes, you can. Being a cop does have some perks. I know where you can get a clean one, no questions asked."

"I don't even know how to shoot a gun."

"Don't worry about it. You can get a .25 caliber and it's so easy to shoot. I'll show you," he kissed her mouth. "Let's go."

She followed him out to his car. "Evan, isn't this illegal?"

"Only if you get caught," he laughed. "Don't worry, Jane. I'm working undercover and I can get you a gun. We've been working on a gun ring. The guns are clean. So, don't worry. I can get one for you."

"Evan, I don't want you to risk your job for me."

"I'm retiring in one year. Don't worry about me. I'm almost done being a cop."

He held the door for her as she got out. "Here?"

"In back."

Alexis packed her suitcases and headed downstairs to the lobby. "I'm checking out today," she said.

"I hope you enjoyed your stay, here at the Hilton of Detroit," the clerk said.

"I did. Thank you very much," she turned away. "Oh, did Mr. O'Roark check out all ready?"

"Yes, ma'am, last month."

"OK, thank you," she picked up her bags and headed out to her car. She sat behind the wheel and sighed as she started the car.

### Chicago
### 16

ALEXIS DROVE TOWARD Chicago. She didn't want to stop. She decided to keep driving the 20 hours it would take her. She needed to find something, anything that would take her away from everything. _No more, cops, Alexis. I can't do the cop thing anymore. Time to start helping people again._

She pulled into the parking garage of the Hilton of Chicago. She dragged herself to the front desk. "Yes, reservation for Garris," she sighed.

The clerk looked at her and smiled. "Yes, Ms. Garris, your room's waiting for you."

"Thank you," she smiled.

"If you need anything to make your stay more comfortable, please let us know."

She looked at him. "You do know who I am, don't you?"

He smiled and nodded. "Yes, enjoy your stay. We also have the conference room available for you at any time."

"Really?" She smiled. "Thank you. I've had a long drive, so please don't let anyone disturb me until morning."

"We won't. Have a nice rest."

Alexis followed the bellboy to her room, as he carried her bags.

"Yes, Mr. O'Roark, your room's ready for you. Follow me," a man said behind her.

Alexis turned around quickly, but no one was there. I _must be going crazy_.

She entered her hotel room and dropped on the sofa. "Thank you," she said to the bellboy. "Here you go," she handed him a one-hundred-dollar bill.

"Thank you, Ms. Garris," he said, as he closed the door.

She closed her eyes and Matthew was there, so close that she could touch him _. Oh, Matthew, god, I wish you were here. I need you to save me again. I can't do this all by myself. I need you so much._ She cried. She cried until she fell asleep. Her sleepy mind drifted back in time.

"Alexis, where are you, Love?"

"I'm unpacking, baby. What do you need?"

He popped his head in the doorway. "You, Love, always you."

She smiled and pulled him into the room. "So, what do you think?"

"About the room?" he asked.

"No, about Chicago," she asked.

"Not bad for a city, I guess," he kissed her cheek.

"I know. I know it's not what you're used to, but this is really important. Chicago Memorial really needs this ward. It's for the children, you know."

He wrapped his arms around her. "Yes, Love, I know. I don't know why you had us fly out here."

"I like to see the progress they're making on the wards. They should've already have patients there."

"I know. You're so loving and kind, Love. These kids are lucky to have someone like you on their side."

"Yeah. I'm lucky to have someone like you on my side," she pulled him on the bed. "We do have some time before I have to be at the hospital."

"Yes, we do."

Alexis sat up quickly and looked around the room. It was as empty as when she walked in the door. _What the hell am I doing? I need to keep my mind focused._

She pulled out the binders from her briefcase and thumbed through them. "Time to take a walk," she pulled out the checkbook and stuffed it in her pocketbook. She looked in the mirror at her long, red hair.

"No time to change now," she muttered. She pulled her hair back into a bun and then walked out.

She walked down the streets of Chicago with a purpose. As she walked several blocks, she stopped at the bottom of the steps of a large church. She took a deep breath and slowly approached the doors. She could hear organ music playing and the choir singing.

She slowly walked down the aisle and sat down in a pew. She closed her eyes and listened to the children singing their hearts out. She placed her hand on her chest as tears streamed down her face.

She jumped up when the priest placed his hand on her shoulder. "Ma'am, are you all right?"

She looked up at him. "Yes, father. I'm fine," she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Are you sure?"

She stood up and looked into his caring eyes. "Father, I have to admit I haven't been in church in a very, very long time."

"It's OK, child. Would you like to talk?" he smiled at her.

"I'd like that," she followed him into his office.

"Take a seat, um, what's your name?"

"Alexis," she sighed. "Alexis Garris."

"Oh, I see."

She stood up quickly. "Sorry to bother you, father," she headed toward the door.

"No, please wait, Mrs. Garris. I was a little surprised. I didn't expect to see you in my church," he said. "Please, take a seat."

She sat down slowly. "I didn't mean to bother you. I really didn't. I'm looking for something."

"What are you looking for?"

" _Peace_. I think peace," she said sadly. "Father, if you know who I am, you must realize how broken I am."

"Why are you in Chicago?" he asked.

"Honestly, I don't know. I was here a few years ago, with, um, my husband," she smiled solemnly. "I know that he's gone, and I have to live with that and a lot more. Father, I didn't mean to kill anyone," she cried.

"Alexis, only god knows what happened that day. I'm not about to judge you."

"Father, I feel like I'm missing something. I know that a piece is Matthew, but it's like there's something or someone out there, waiting for me and I keep missing it. I just don't know what life has written for me anymore."

He sat next to her and put his hand on her shoulder. "You need to look deep inside yourself. If you're missing something, you'll find it. I promise you, you'll find it. Sometimes, it finds you when you least expect it."

She smiled. "Thank you, father," she looked around the room. "Father, may I ask you something about the church?"

"Anything."

"What kind of services do you provide?"

"I'm not sure I understand."

"I mean, is there a daycare center, homeless shelter, food kitchen or anything like that here?"

"I wish. Our church may be big on the outside, but inside it's small. There's no budget."

"But, father, I've seen the neighborhood. It looks like they could use your help."

"Yes, they could. I wish we could afford it."

"Father," she reached into her pocketbook and grabbed her checkbook. "This is for the church," she said, as she wrote. "I'm donating it anonymously. You don't need a murderer associated with a church. Just do whatever you think will help the community, please. That will give me some peace," she handed him the check.

He looked at the check and smiled in shock. "One hundred thousand dollars?" he asked. "But, Alexis—"

"Father Lawrence, please. I only use my money in this way. This helps me get peace, but more importantly, it helps people who really need it," she pulled a card out of her purse. "If you find that you need more to continue the projects, call Jason Abrams. He's my attorney. He'll handle the rest," she stood up and shook his hand. "Thank you for your time, Father."

"Thank you, Alexis. And if you're ever in Chicago, stop in anytime."

She smiled. "I'll be here for a little while. I don't know how long, just long enough to spend a little money like this," she walked out.

As she walked down the steps of the church, her heart felt a little bit better. She headed back toward the hotel. She approached the desk clerk. "Um, excuse me?"

"Yes? What can I do for you?"

"Could you provide me a list of homeless and battered women's shelters in the area?"

"You'd have to go to the police station for that," she sputtered.

"Is there a problem?" Alexis asked.

"Yes, we don't like murderers frequenting our hotels. How you got a reservation, is beyond me," she snapped.

"Listen, missy. I don't need your crap right now. I'm in Chicago because I'm free, so get over it."

"Oh, please. You bought your way free."

"Maybe, maybe not. But you're pretty dumb to get a killer pissed off. Who knows? You could be next," Alexis snapped.

The woman took a step back. "Um, are you threatening me?"

Alexis shook her head. "No, I'll be back in a few minutes to check out. And, by the way, you can tell your boss, that I withdraw my donation to the hotel," she stormed up to her room and began packing.

A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door. She answered it. "Yes, can I help you?"

"Um, Mrs. Garris? I heard that you were checking out," the man said.

"Who the hell are you?" She snapped.

"I'm Mr. Lyons, hotel concierge," he extended his hand.

She looked at his hand and shook her head. "I'm checking out now. So, what do you want?"

"I'd like to know why you're leaving us so soon. You just checked in yesterday."

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes, ma'am, I do."

"First of all, don't call me ma'am. Second of all, I asked your little desk clerk, Cheryl, where I could get a list of homeless shelters and such, and she insulted me."

"She did?"

"Yes, sir. If you don't want a murderer in your hotel, don't accept my reservations. I didn't pretend to be someone else."

"I'm terribly sorry about that."

She shrugged her shoulders. "Don't worry about it. I'm used to it. That's why I'm taking my money and checking out. I don't need to be where I'm not wanted," she picked up her suitcases. "Sir, I came to Chicago to help people. I know that there are a lot of shelters and things like that that could use the money for improvements. Everyone needs to eat, and a place to sleep. I see that I came to the wrong hotel."

"Please, Mrs. Garris, don't leave," he begged.

"Hmm, a beggar. Nice try. I'm outta here," she stormed out down to the lobby. "Check me out, NOW!"

### 17

SHE GOT INTO her car and drove out of Chicago. "I guess they weren't ready for me," she sighed. She drove for a little while and the stopped at a gas station off the interstate.

She pulled in and pumped the gas. When she went inside to pay, the clerk stared at her. "Hey, are you famous or something?" he asked.

"Or something," she muttered, as she handed him the money. "Where's the closest hotel from here?" She looked around. "And where exactly is _here_?"

"What do you mean?"

"I've been driving for hours. What state am I in?"

"Iowa, ma'am," he smiled at her.

"OK, in that case, where's the nearest, clean hotel?"

"If you continue on I-80, you can take the next exit ramp. There's a hotel about two miles on your right. You can't miss it. It's right across from the State Patrol barracks," he smiled.

"Thank you," she sat as she left the gas station.

"Hey, I do know who you are," he smiled. "Famous isn't the word for it," he laughed.

Alexis shook her head as she sat in the car. "Can't even be me anymore. Iowa? When the hell did I cross the border?" She started the car and headed back on the interstate. She drove the next exit ramp and turned toward the hotel. She checked herself in and then went outside.

Across the street was the state Patrol barracks. She dropped down wearily on a bench that was in the middle of the hotel gardens. She closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead back and forth with her hand. _Alexis, you need to find something, but what's missing, besides_ Matthew? She thought about the past few months and how she has been living. _It's just not the same anymore. I'm not even the Alexis_ I _was before_ I _met Matthew._

She buried her face in her hands and sobbed to herself.

"Um, excuse me, ma'am. Are you all right?" She heard a deep voice ask from above.

She looked up and shielded her eyes from the sun. There stood an older looking man in a State Patrol officer's uniform. "Um, I'm OK. Really. Thanks for asking," she smiled.

He sat down next to her. "It's not often I see a damsel in distress," he charmed.

"Me? Damsel? Probably not, but in distress, yeah, I guess," she looked into his oceanic blue eyes. "I'm Alexis Garris. And before you respond, yes, that one."

He smiled. "I see, Mrs. Garris," his eyes lit up. "So, are all the stories I hear, true?"

"Depends on the stories, but if your referring to the killer stories or even the cop stories, yes, those are true."

He leaned back in the bench. "I'm Sergeant Townley, Jack Townley," he extended his hand to her. "So, what brings you to our small town?"

"I'm actually passing through. I figured I'd stay here a couple of days and then move on to Nebraska."

"What's your final destination?"

"Eventually, I'm going to Vegas. I hear that's the perfect place to get lost. No one wants to know a killer."

"What'll you do while you're here?" he leaned in closer to her.

"Um, Sergeant, are you talking to me because of my, well, cop thing?" She flirted.

"Mostly," he cleared his throat.

"Sir, I may have a, well, what I call a weakness for officers. But that doesn't mean I'm going to take you into my bed right this second."

He laughed. "I'm not expecting that. Yes, I knew who you were when I walked over here. But you looked upset."

"I am upset. I'm looking for something in my life that I can't seem to find. I thought when my husband was alive that we had all the answers. I thought that it was for forever, but now he's gone, and I'm lost."

"Not to be rude but are you sure that it's your husband you're missing. Maybe, just maybe, there's someone out there you just haven't met yet. You know, someone who's also out there, wandering the country to find you."

"Could be. I do believe in destiny. I wish it would hurry up sometimes," she ran her fingers through her long, red hair.

"Didn't you used to be a brunette?" he placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Yes, sir, I did. Too many people were recognizing me. I know that almost every single cop in the entire United States knows who I am. Especially after all those stories after the trial," she frowned. "The murderess heiress with a cop fetish."

"I'm sorry to report that, yes, you've been the talk of the barracks."

"Jack, I'd like to do something."

"What's that?"

"Well, when I was in Chicago, I wanted to help out some shelters and things like that, but no one really wanted to help me find them. Is there a way I can find those? I mean, is there a list of shelters?"

"Yes, if you walk over to the station with me, I can get you a list. Anything you need while you're here, I'll be glad to help you."

"Thank you, Jack. I'd like that," she stood up and followed him across the street.

As he walked down the hall, he put his arm around her. Officers turned around, stared, and nodded to Jack as he led the famous Alexis Garris to his desk.

She sat down at his desk, while he thumbed through some files. He pulled out a few pieces of paper and handed it to her. "Is this what you need?"

"Yes, Jack. Thanks."

"Getting lucky tonight, Jack?" An officer asked, as he passed the desk.

"Get over yourself, Harvey!" Jack said. He looked at Alexis. "I'm sorry about him."

"Don't worry. You may not get lucky tonight, but if you're interested, I'd like for us to go out to dinner."

"I'd like that. I get off shift very soon. Do you mind waiting? I have a few reports to finalize."

"I've got a call to make, so don't mind me," she grabbed her cell phone and dialed Emily's number. "Em, it's me."

"Alexis, where are you?"

"Iowa, in a small town outside of Des Moines."

"What happened in Chicago?"

"You know some people don't want a murderer hanging around."

"Alexis, I'm sorry that some people are so close-minded."

"It's OK, Em. I'm OK. I think I'll only stay here for a few more days. I'm going out to donate some money to some more shelters and then I'm off to Nebraska."

"Alexis, are you ever going to settle down?"

"I don't know. Maybe if I find what I'm looking for. Who knows, I may settle down to have it find me. Not sure, yet. I just know that I'm not ready yet. I want to keep moving."

"Where are you headed?"

"Vegas."

"Keep in touch. Please, Alexis."

"I will," she hung up the phone and looked at Jack.

"I'm all set, how about you?"

"Yeah, let's get something to eat," she smiled. She took his hand as he led her out of the police station. He opened the door to his patrol car and sat in the front. She looked around at the cluttered the seats. "Kind of messy, huh?"

"Sorry, about that. Didn't realize I'd have a passenger today," he smiled. "I know a great place to get something to eat," he said, as he drove down the road.

Jack watched her as they ate their dinner. "I guess you were kind of hungry," he smiled.

"Jack, why are you really here with me?"

"You fascinate me, Alexis," he lightly stroked her hand.

"Why?"

"Well, to be honest, I never met anyone with a cop fetish," he chuckled lightly.

"Oh. To be honest, it's not a cop thing. It's more about the badge, than anything else," she smiled slyly. "I like shiny things," she whispered.

He grinned brilliantly. "Really?"

"Yeah, can't explain it," she gazed in his eyes. "But that can't be the only reason that you're fascinated by me."

"Well, no," he looked down. " _I'm_ so curious about how you handled yourself. I can't imagine being put in that situation."

"Oh, you mean the killer side of me."

"I wouldn't call it that. Everyone around here thinks it was justified."

"It may have been. At least that's what a jury thought, but it's different to know that you've killed another human being. I've _always_ been about saving and helping people. People deserve to be happy. They deserve to eat and have a roof over their head. They deserve to have jobs. That's what I do. I make sure that as many people as possible get those things," she put her head down. "It's harder now to do it because no one wants to be associated with a murderer, justified or not."

"I'd like to be associated with one, at least, for a moment," he pulled her head gently into a kiss.

"That's flattering, but I've made a vow that I wouldn't be with another cop."

"You could always wean yourself off them slowly," he licked his lips.

"I'm sorry, Sergeant. If you picked me up just to get laid, then I'm sorry. Not tonight."

"I didn't mean to push. I'm sorry. I guess I'm not as good at this as I used to be."

"What do you mean?"

He took a deep breath. "I lost my wife about two years ago. She was murdered outside of our home," he sighed heavily. "I haven't even tried to pick up a woman. At my age, most women just see an old man."

"I'm sorry about your wife. I understand what you must be going through. As for the old man thing, you're not old. You're extremely mature and sexy," she touched his face. "I said not tonight, but if you want to visit me tomorrow, you're more than welcome to. If you're looking for a companion, that's not me. _I'll_ be leaving and probably never return. But if you want to feel something, as I do, you're welcome."

"I'd like that," he stood up. "Let me take you back to your hotel," he took her hand and led her out to the patrol car. He drove her back to her hotel. He touched her shoulder as she got out of the car. "Alexis, I get off shift tomorrow at three. May I come to your room?"

"Room 609, Jack. I'll see you tomorrow," she smiled as she walked into the hotel lobby.

She pulled her .25 caliber out of her suitcase and stared at it. She put the safety on the gun and placed it under the other pillow. Slowly, she dropped on the bed in her room and lay down. She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Her memories weren't clouding her brain tonight. Her dreams were becoming vibrant, yet uncertain.

Alexis walked toward the light at the end of the hallway. She had this undeniable feeling that she was missing something. Where do I look? She kept turning around. Someone's following me, but who?

As she approached the light, she stepped through the doorway. "Angel, where are you?" a man's voice cried.

"Matthew?" Alexis asked.

"No, Matthew's gone. I'm the one that you were destined to be with. At the end of your journey, you'll rest. When life starts to unravel again, we'll find each other. Our lives were written to be entangled."

"Who are you?" Alexis whispered.

"When your heart's confused, I'll clarify it for you. Until then, my angel," his voice faded.

Alexis woke up with a start and looked around the room. "Another dream, another dead end," she turned on the television. Now was not the time to back to sleep. She made herself some coffee and sat on the bed until the daylight peered in through the curtain. She wearily dragged herself off of the bed and headed into the bathroom.

After she got dressed, she slowly pulled her hair up into a bun. She grabbed her briefcase and the list that Jack gave her and headed out to her car. She spent the day driving around to the different homeless shelters and donating money.

As she was driving back to the hotel, she noticed a large office building. "No time like the present, I guess," she whispered, as she pulled into the parking lot and headed inside. She scanned the directory of businesses. She took the elevator to the thirteenth floor.

The receptionist looked up at her as she walked in the door. "Can I help you?"

Alexis smiled. "Yes, I'd like to see Elvin Meyer, please?"

"Do you have an appointment?"

"No, but, please let him know that Alexis Garris is here to see him."

"Oh, yes, Mrs. Garris, right away," she picked up the phone and called Mr. Meyer.

The small man walked out of his office and smiled when he saw Alexis standing there. "Alexis, how long has it been?"

She hugged him. "Too long, Elvin. How are you doing?"

"Fine. Just fine. It's good to see you," he put his arm around her. "Follow me. We can talk in my office."

She sat down in the big leather chair that was parked in front of his desk. He sat on the edge of the desk after he closed the door. "So, Lex, what brings you out here?"

She sighed heavily. "I know that I haven't kept in touch, but I was in town for a few days and thought I'd stop by."

"Lex, you can talk to me, you know?"

"It's so hard, Elvin. I'm trying to get a fresh start. With Matthew, John, and Mary gone, I don't know what I'm going to do," she smiled at him. "Elvin, I'm going to be OK. I didn't think I'd make it. I miss all of them so much."

"Lex, I wish I could've been there for you," he patted her leg. "But what are you doing here, in the middle of nowhere?"

"I'm on a journey to find something lost deep inside myself," she sighed. "But, Elvin, how are you doing really? I mean, look at your business. Looks pretty good. John and I knew you'd turn out well. I mean, really, valedictorian? Of course, you're doing well."

"Well, the business is OK, but it could always be doing better. It's so hard to find the right resources and keep them. I don't have the luxury of great salaries."

"Not to butt into your business, but have you ever thought of doing stock. I mean, sell your employees stock in the company."

"I don't have the capital for that. I'd need about two million to start that."

"Elvin, let me invest in your company. I can do it anonymously. You don't need bad publicity," she pulled out her checkbook and wrote him a check. "Here. The check's good. If you have any issues, contact Jason."

"Daddy's still around, huh?"

"Of course. He's back in Pennsylvania handling all the Rossi affairs, but he does mine, too."

"He was always a good man."

"Yeah. So, Elvin, _I'll_ be in town probably for about two more days. What do you say we get lunch tomorrow or something?" Alexis stood up.

"That would be great, Lex. It's so good to see you," he hugged her. "Please take care of yourself."

"I will. I'll stop by around noon tomorrow," she headed _out._

Alexis dropped down on the bed in her motel room. "It was good to see you, Elvin. The stuff the three of us used to do together, it was so crazy. But, John was one of a kind."

"Lex, it's not fair," John yelled.

"Of course, it is. I won, fair and square," she brushed her hair out of her face. "It's my game. So, I won," she stuck out her tongue at John and ran down the street.

John chased after her. "Lex, I'm going to get you," he ran as fast as little ten-year-old legs would carry him.

Alexis stopped and stared at the little girl who was watching them. "Johnny, come here," Alexis yelled.

"What is it?"

"Look!" Alexis pointed at the little girl. "Let's see if she wants to play," The two of them ran over to the girl. "Hi, I'm Alexis and this is Johnny. Do you want to play with us?"

The girl's eyes lit up when she saw John. "Hi, I'm Mary. We just moved in. I don't know anyone yet."

Alexis took her hand. "You can be our new best friend," she hugged her.

"OK," she smiled. "What are you playin'?"

"We were playin' tag, but Lex always wins," John said. "Let's play something else."

Alexis wiped the tears from her eyes. "Sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago. I love you Johnny and Mary," she buried her face in her hands. She turned on the television and then there was a knock on the door.

"Jack? Oh, I'm sorry," she said.

"May I come in?"

"Oh, yes, please do. I'm sorry. It was a really long day. I'm kind of not in the mood for much."

"Are you all right, Alexis?"

"Yeah. I ran into an old friend from high school. That's all. And then it got me thinking back to when John and I met Mary. I'm sorry. I don't need to discuss this with you."

He sat down on the edge of the bed. "Alexis, if you just want to talk, that's fine. I didn't exactly plan on what we would do."

"You mean you wouldn't mind if we didn't? I'm really not in the mood right now."

He patted the bed. "Just sit down, and talk," he smiled at her as she sat next to him. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure?"

"The stuff in the papers, was that all true?"

"I guess it depends on the paper," she frowned. "I haven't read any of the papers. My attorney saved clippings, but I haven't read them yet. I can't bring myself to read them," she laid her head on his shoulder. "Is there something specific you wanted to know?"

"Do you remember what happened? The papers said that you claim you don't remember."

"I remember holding my husband's dead body. I remember finding my two best friends slaughtered. I honestly don't remember beating her head in over 20 times," she sighed. "I don't think I want to remember. But the fact is I did it. I can't take it back. I have _to_ live with the fact that I did it."

"Are you sure that you did it?"

"I'm not a hundred percent, no. I can only go by what I was told," she lay back on the bed. "Can we not talk about that anymore?"

He lay on his side and touched her face. "I'm sorry. I was curious."

"That's OK," she sat up and smiled. "Can I ask you something?"

"What's that?"

"Are you sure you want to be with a killer?"

"Alexis, are you a bad girl?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"Do you always get into trouble? Do you always do the wrong thing?"

"No. I've done things in the past that maybe weren't the right thing to do, but I wasn't hurting anyone. I only want to help people. As for myself, I sometimes seek out affection, when I need to feel something other than pain."

"I have no problem being with you, whether we, well, you know or not."

"Jack, would you mind just holding me tonight?"

"It would be my pleasure," he stroked her cheek. "Mind if I kiss you, though?"

She gently pulled his head into hers and kissed him softly on the mouth. "That was nice," she said, as he wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. She wriggled a little. "Sorry, but, Jack, can you remove your belt? Your gun's digging into me."

"Oh, sorry," he sat up and took off his belt. "Let me hold you close, very close," he unbuttoned her blouse and pulled down her skirt. She, in turn, removed his uniform and then lay in his arms.

He gently caressed her arms as he held her. "Good night, Alexis," he whispered.

"Good night, Jack," she closed her eyes and felt the warmth of his body so close to hers.

### 18

ALEXIS SAT ON the bench in the hotel gardens. She solemnly watched the patrol cars entering and exiting the barracks across the street. She took a deep breath and headed to the barracks. As she was approaching the desk sergeant, he smiled at her. "Ms. Garris, what can I do for you?" he winked at her.

"Can you give this to Jack Townley for me?" She handed him an envelope.

"Sure thing, but don't you want to give it to him yourself? He's right in there," he pointed to the doors.

"No, that's OK," she turned around and walked toward the hotel parking lot. She sighed as she pulled out into the road.

A few seconds later, she noticed red lights and sirens coming up behind her. "I wasn't speeding this time," she whispered, as she pulled over.

Jack walked up to her car and sat down in the passenger seat. "Alexis, weren't you going to say good-bye?"

"I did, Jack. I gave you the letter."

"Alexis, I know that the past couple of days meant nothing to you, but they were special to me," he stroked her cheek.

"Jack, they mean more to me than you know. Not everyone would want to hold a murderer in their arms, unless they were getting something else out of it," her eyes saddened as she looked at his face. "Jack, I'm sorry, that we didn't make love. I guess I slowly am weaning myself off of cops," she smiled slightly.

"Alexis, don't lose hope. Please, you're a special woman and you deserve to be happy. If you ever are in town, please, find me," Jack pulled her head into a soft, gentle kiss. "I'll miss you, lady."

"Thanks, Jack," she smiled as he got out of the car. She watched him strut back to his patrol car and pull away. "Yup, no more cops. Too bad, too," she whispered with a heavy breath as she pulled on to the interstate.

She drove for several hours before she hit the Nebraska border. She pulled into a rest area and looked at a map. "Hmmm," she whispered, as she looked at the mileage. "Only eight hours to Wyoming," she folded up the map and sat in the car.

She grabbed her cell phone and dialed Emily's number. "Em, it's Alexis."

"Alexis, where are you?"

"Just crossed the border into Nebraska," Alexis said.

"Are you OK?"

"Yeah, not bad. Sorry that I haven't called you in a couple of days. When I was in Iowa, I ran into an old friend of John's and mine, Elvin Myers."

"Oh, yeah, I remember John mentioning him a few times."

"Well, yeah. He's a good man. It was nice to see him, but I realized it was time to move on."

"Any more cops?"

"Emily!"

"Come on, Alexis. You know you can tell me anything."

"OK, there was a State Patrol officer, but we didn't. He kept me company. It turns out that wherever I go, the cops know exactly who I am."

"Well, of course they do."

"No, Em. It's now red."

"What's red?"

"The hair. It's been red for a while now. Some people look at me strange."

"I understand, but red?" Emily laughed slightly.

"It doesn't look that bad, and it's not like orange. It's more of a vibrant auburn type of red."

"I'm sure you look great. Please, call me when you get in Wyoming. Don't forget to eat while you're on the road."

"I won't. Thanks, mom!"

"I'm sorry. I worry about you. You're all that I have left, you know."

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left, but I have to find something."

"You will. I'll talk to you soon."

Alexis got back in the car and headed back on the interstate. She turned on the radio and listened to the local news. As she was approaching the Wyoming border, she took the exit ramp to Interstate 15. She could see flashing lights ahead in the distance, she laughed to herself. "Quota time," she whispered.

As she slowed down to go around the vehicle, she had to stare at the driver. "Cute, guy," she laughed out loud. "He looks like that guy from Detroit," she shook her head. "That's just too funny. Mr. O'Roark got a ticket."

She sped up the road and before she knew it, the flashing lights were behind her. "Oh, crap. I knew it. Can't laugh at someone and not get something in return," she said, as she pulled over.

The officer walked over to the car. "Ma'am, do you know why I pulled you over?"

"Um, no, sir," Alexis replied.

"Ma'am, I clocked you doing 80," he smiled.

"That's not possible," she said.

"Why not?"

"How could you clock me when you had someone else pulled over?" she asked, as her eyes lit up.

"I know you, don't I?" he removed his sunglasses. "Yes, I do. Please step out of the car, ma'am."

She slowly got out of the car. "What did I do now?"

He looked her up and down. "You know, ma'am, you're _much_ prettier in person," he touched her shoulder.

"Um, sir, get your hands off me. If you need to give me a ticket, go ahead and do it now."

He stepped closer to her and touched her face. "Oh, come on. I know who you are and how you are."

"Officer, I'm going to tell you one more time. Just give me the ticket and let me leave."

"I know a way I could just let the ticket go."

"I know what you're thinking," she grabbed his belt and pulled him closer to her. She carefully placed her hand on his gun. "Sir, what are you trying to say to me?"

"Nothing," he backed off as a car on the road slowed down and pulled next to them.

The driver rolled down his window. "Is everything OK here?" he asked. It was the same driver that was pulled over down the road.

"Yes, thank you," Alexis smiled.

"Just checking," he looked at her. "Have a good day, ma'am."

Alexis watched as he pulled away, he was the man from the hotel in Detroit. She looked at the officer. "Can I go now?"

"Get out of here," the officer stormed back to his car.

Alexis sat down and watched the other car drive down the highway. She took a deep breath. "Another road to nowhere," she pulled out into the road and continued on to Wyoming.

### Wyoming
### 19

WEARILY, SHE PULLED into the hotel parking lot. She pulled up to the doors and the Valet unloaded her suitcases and parked her car for her. She walked over to the desk clerk and checked in. "yes, reservation for Alexis Garris."

"Yes, ma'am," The woman smiled at her. "Here are your keys, and by the way, I have a message for you," she handed her a piece of paper.

Alexis stared at the note and smiled. "Thank you," she followed the bellhop up to the penthouse suite.

She set her suitcase on the bed as the bellhop left. She pulled her .25 caliber, put the safety on, and placed it under the other pillow.

She stood in front of the large balcony window and smiled. "What a beautiful view," she whispered. She dropped down on the bed and looked at the note again. "Who in the world would've sent this?" She read the words over and over. "Wherever you go, I'll always be."

She shook her head and turned on the television. She flipped through the channels until she found the local news. She closed her eyes until the top story caught her interest.

"Our top story tonight," The anchorwoman began. "Today, in Cheyenne, several Marine troops gathered at the civic center to pay tribute to fallen heroes. Today's ceremony was dedicated in honor of Captain Matthew Garris, a decorated hero. The Captain was recently slain in Pennsylvania where he lived with his wife of six years. Captain Garris' men flew in from around the United States to pay a special tribute. The tribute was scheduled today because of the holiday weekend. It would've also been the Captain's 42nd birthday. Captain Garris spent several months here in Wyoming, training his men, before he moved on in his travels. A special moment of silence was given, along with a 21-gun salute."

Tears streamed down her face. "I forgot your birthday. Can you believe it?" she whispered, as the story continued.

The television screen flashed with Matthew's picture. "At the opening of the ceremony, Special Sergeant O'Roark, gave a speech in honor of his fallen partner. He was unavailable for comment."

Alexis turned off the TV. "Damn, would've like to have seen him," she dropped back on the bed. She stared at the ceiling. "I didn't know you were ever in Cheyenne," she closed her eyes and remembered his stories. _How could I? I never listened to the Marine stories. She laughed to herself. Oh, Matthew, happy birthday, baby._

She picked up the phone and dialed room service. "Please send me up a bottle of your finest champagne. Also, do you sell candles in your gift shop?... Thank you. Please send up six white pillar candles to the penthouse," she hung up the phone.

She took off her clothes and put on the terry robe that hung in the closet. She answered the door. "Thank you so much. Please come in."

The man placed the bucket of champagne on the table and handed her the candles. As she handed him the tip, she asked. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything, Mrs. Garris," he smiled charmingly at her.

"I know you probably can't tell me, but is there a Special Sergeant O'Roark staying here?"

He shook his head. "He had a reservation but cancelled it. He originally planned to stay the week, but I guess his plans changed. He was here for the ceremony and then left. His brother, Officer O'Roark is staying here, though."

"Oh, I see. Well, thank you."

"Anytime," he started walking toward the door. "Ma'am, you're Captain Garris' wife, aren't you?"

She nodded slightly. "Yes, I was."

His smile grew large. "My brother was one of his men. He served proudly under your husband."

Alexis smiled. "Thank you. That means a lot."

"Not to impose or anything, but tomorrow in the banquet room, there is going to be a breakfast for some of the men. Most of them are staying here. You're welcome to join them."

"I'll think about it. Thank you for the invitation."

He left the room. Alexis lit the six candles. "One for every year that we were together," she whispered. She poured herself a glass of champagne and headed out on the balcony. She raised her glass to the sky. "Matthew, I know that you're looking out for me. I miss you so much. I love you so much. It does feel good to know how much other people loved you and..." She wiped the tear from her eye. "I'm sorry that I never listened to your stories," she sipped from her glass.

She sat down in the chair and watched the sunset. "Happy Birthday, baby."

### 20

ALEXIS GOT DRESSED the next morning and headed down to the lobby. As she was walking toward the dining room, she noticed several men, dressed in Marine uniforms, heading for the banquet room. She took a deep breath and contemplated following them.

She watched them enter the room for a little while and then went into the dining room. She sat down at a table near the doorway. As she was reading the menu, a man approached her. "Um, excuse me?" he asked her.

She looked up and smiled. "Yes, what can I do for you?"

"This is going to sound strange, and I don't mean anything by it, but you look familiar."

"Oh, well, before you say anything else, let me introduce myself. I'm Alexis Garris," she stood up and stretched out her hand.

His eyes lit up. "Hello, I'm Christopher O'Roark," he said.

"O'Roark? That name sounds familiar to me," she sat down. "Please, have a seat."

"You probably mean my brother, JC."

"Oh, yes, JC. Matthew has mentioned him several times. What can I do for you, Christopher?"

"I wanted to meet the wife of my brother's partner," he smiled. "I came to join my brother for the ceremony. My brother came to town for the ceremony, but then left. He's been moving around a lot."

"Oh, sounds familiar. I've been doing the same thing," Alexis said. "I think it's interesting that you're here."

He shook her hand. "I'm sorry that I bothered you. I knew Matthew growing up. My little brother loved him so much. I think his death affected him more than he'll let on. He doesn't handle death too well. His wife died several years ago, and he still hasn't gotten over it. We, also, just lost our father. I don't know how he keeps things together, but somehow he manages."

"I'm sorry to hear that. I know how he feels. Please, if you see your brother, tell him hello for me. I've never met him, but I'd like to meet him sometime."

Christopher stood up. "Thank you for taking the time to talk with me. Have a good day, Mrs. Garris," he walked away.

"Guess I'm not destined to ever meet JC," she whispered, as she watched Christopher walk through the doors. She leaned back in the chair and motioned for the waiter.

After Alexis ate her breakfast, she walked toward the banquet room. She stood outside the door and listened to the many conversations among the men. She turned to leave after a little while, when she was approached from behind.

"Um, excuse me, Mrs. Garris?" the voice said.

She turned around. "Yes? How can I help you?"

"It's her!" he yelled to the men. "It's really her!"

"What's going on?" she asked.

"Sorry we startled you. We wanted to give you something," he turned to the men. In unison, they stood up and saluted her. "It was an honor to serve under your husband."

"Thank you," she whispered, as tears swelled in her eyes. "I know that those were some of the best days of his life. He talked more often about it than I care to admit," she smiled. "He was proud of all of you," she walked slowly away as the men sat back down.

She walked over to the desk clerk. "Um, excuse me, the military ceremony that occurred yesterday, can you give me directions?"

He smiled at her. "Sure, here you go," he handed her the paper after he finished writing. "Have a good day, ma'am."

She gave the valet her ticket and he pulled her car out front. She drove to the civic center, where the ceremony had taken place.

As she entered the building, she stopped at the foot of the newly erected statue. "Oh, Matthew," she cried. She lightly touched the feet of the ten-foot tall statue of Captain Matthew Garris. At the base of the statue, there was a plaque that listed the names of all the fallen marines. At the bottom of the list, the quote "To honor, to serve, to protect, to love, to save... even in death, life's path continues...."

She ran her fingers lightly over the quote and smiled. "Good-bye, baby," she opened the doors to the stadium and looked around. No one was there, so she carefully approached the podium. As she stood at the podium, she noticed an index card on the floor. She picked it up and read the handwriting. "Page 3 of 4, all and all, he was my best friend. It was an honor to serve with such a great man. The best part about it was that he never admitted how great he was. He saved my butt so many times. I could never count. I wish I had the opportunity to say good-bye to him, but being here, now, allows me to do it, even if it's two years too late..."

She placed the card in her pocket. "Must be part of JC's speech," she whispered. She glanced around at the large stadium and took a deep breath. "Yes, Matthew, you would be so proud," she walked slowly to the exit.

She flipped opened up her cell phone as she sat on the bench outside. "Em, it's Alexis."

"Where are you now?"

"Em, I'm in Cheyenne. You should be here right now. They honored Matthew yesterday. It was like I was destined to be here at this moment," her voice broke as she spoke.

"They did? Oh, that's so great. He would've loved that," Emily's voice cracked.

"Yeah. I saw most of it on the news. I wish I had seen the speech that JC gave him. I found page three of it on the floor of the stadium. I wanted to meet him, but he left before I knew it. I did meet Christopher this morning, though."

"He's a good guy. JC doesn't look anything like him. It's funny. Matthew and JC were so close and so tight. I wish they never lost touch."

"Me, either. Well, Em. I don't think I'm going to stay here much longer. There's too much of Matthew here. I didn't realize that when I came here. I forgot that he trained some of his men at the base here."

"Didn't listen, either. Did you?"

"No," Alexis laughed.

"Me, either. I'll talk to you soon, honey," Emily hung up.

Alexis drove back to the hotel and sat down on the bed. She closed her eyes and tried to feel Matthew, but he was so far away. She couldn't feel him anymore. I used to remember his touch, now it's gone. _Oh, Matthew, I can still see your eyes and your smile, but your touch is gone. She cried herself to sleep._

The next morning, she packed up her suitcases and called down to the lobby. "Yes, this is Mrs. Garris. I'll be checking out today. Please send someone up to get my bags."

She opened her briefcase and thumbed through a few documents. "Just one more thing before I leave," she pulled out her checkbook and placed it in her purse.

The bellboy knocked on the door and she followed him down to the lobby. Alexis walked over to the desk clerk. "Hi, I'd like to check out now, please."

"Oh, I'm sorry that you have to leave so soon," he said.

"Too much of my husband around here," she smiled. "Oh, by the way, are the Marines still here?"

"Yes, ma'am," he smiled.

"Good," she took out her checkbook and wrote out a check. "Can you give this to them?" she asked, as she placed the check in an envelope. "It's a small donation for the upkeep and maintenance of my husband's statue at the Civic Center."

"Yes, ma'am. I'll take care of that for you. Have a nice day," he said, as he took the envelope.

Alexis waited for her car and the bellboy loaded it up for her. She handed him his tip. "Thank you very much," she said, as she got in the car and headed toward the exit ramp on to I-15.

### Idaho

### 21

ALEXIS DROVE FOR several hours until she reached the Idaho border. She pulled into a rest area to stretch her legs. Then she continued on to Boise. She had no idea what she'd find when she arrived, but she hoped that she'd find it here. She was getting so tired, so tired of missing Matthew, so tired of being Alexis Garris.

She pulled into the Hilton Garden Hotel and let the valet park her car. She checked in. "Yes, reservation for Mrs. Garris. Alexis Garris."

"Yes, ma'am. I also have a message for you from a Mr. Paul Welch," the clerk said.

"Oh, thank you very much," she said, as she took the paper from his hand. "If he calls again, tell him he can meet me here. I'm going up to my room to freshen up."

She followed the bellboy to her room and dropped on the bed. "Thank you," she said, as she handed him a tip.

She took out the .25 and placed it under the other pillow of the bed. She shook her head and sighed. She took off her clothes and headed into the bathroom. She ran the water in the tub and added some bubble bath. She let her body soak as she laid back and closed her eyes. She didn't realize how long she had been in the tub until the phone rang. She grabbed the robe that was hanging on the door and rushed to answer the phone. "Hello?"

"Mrs. Garris, a Mr. Welch is here to see you," he said.

"Please send him to my room, thank you," she hung up quickly.

She dried herself off and hurried to get dressed. She was buttoning her blouse as Paul knocked on the door. She opened the door. "Um, Mr. Welch, please forgive me, come on in," she smiled.

"Mrs. Garris, it's nice to finally meet you," he ran his hands through his sandy hair. He resembled his brother, not in his looks, but also in his presence.

"Please have a seat," she pulled her hair back into a bun. "Um, how'd you know I'd be in Boise?"

"Mr. Abrams. I had some questions about the deal you made with my brother, Steven. I called Mr. Abrams and he said it would be best if you answered them. After all, it was your husband's business."

"Oh, I see," Alexis sat on the bed and faced him. "I just got in this morning, so, you'll have to excuse me. What kind of questions do you have?"

"You mentioned to Steven that you don't want the employees to lose their jobs."

"Yes, that's what we agreed on. NO one will lose their job. I wouldn't have sold it otherwise."

"I've had a few of these instances before, some companies we were able to save. I have to say, that the Garris Engineering Foundation is in jeopardy. It has been almost two years since your husband died. It was his company. Some people can't get over the fact that he's no longer there."

Alexis crossed her legs. "Mr. Welch..."

"Please, call me Paul."

"OK, Paul. I'm still dealing with the fact that my husband's dead, and, yes, I know it's been two years," she sighed. "Matthew built that company into a success. I only gave him the five-hundred thousand startup costs. He made it all happen. When I sold it to Steven, it was worth more than the amount that I sold it for. Don't tear it apart."

"What do you want me to do?" he stood up and walked over to the window.

She stood next to him. "Paul, I read about you and Steven. I know what kind of businessmen you are. You add more stock options. I know that the employees who started with the company were provided options, but newer employees should have that, too. Also," she sat down and wrote something on a piece of paper. "Contact a good friend of mine, Elvin Meyer. He owns a small business outside of Des Moines. Talk with him about a merger. I met with him a while ago regarding similar problems."

Paul took the piece of paper. "Thanks, if you're sure."

"Paul, I can't run the company for Matthew. I have no idea what happens in the day-to-day stuff of an engineer. I'm not an engineer. There are some good men out there. Maybe you just need to find a few of them. Contact the Cheyenne Marine base in Wyoming. Find out if there are men who are thinking about retiring. Matthew was a Marine Captain. He got his engineering degree while serving. You never know, you may find what you need. Don't let my husband's work be destroyed."

"I won't. I'm glad that I met with you. Thank you, Mrs. Garris."

"You're welcome. Tell your brother that I said hello," she walked him to the door. "If you have any other questions, just contact Mr. Abrams. He'll always know how to get in touch with me," she smiled as she closed the door.

She pulled her hair down and got undressed. She put the robe back on and lay on the bed. Soon, she fell asleep.

"You're so close, yet so far."

She looked down the hall and walked toward the light. "Where are you? I can't see you," Alexis cried.

"Follow me. When lives collide, you'll find me. Follow your path to destiny."

"Who are you? How will I know you?"

"Angel, you'll know. In your heart, you'll know."

She woke up the next morning and stared out at the morning sky. "Someone's still following me. I can feel it. Is it destiny or just some stalker?" she whispered.

Just as she was about to go into the bathroom, there was a knock on the door. She opened it cautiously. "Yes?"

"Room service."

"I didn't order room service."

"Oh, well, I've a standing room service order. Coffee, toast, the morning paper, and a white rose," he smiled.

"Oh, well, thank you. Do you know who ordered this?"

"No, ma'am, it was anonymous."

"Well, bring it in," she sighed.

He rolled in the tray and left the room. She went into the bathroom and brushed her hair. She got dressed and then sat at the table to eat her breakfast. When she finished eating, she picked up the phone and dialed zero for the front desk. "This is Alexis Garris. I'll be doing some business in the next few weeks here and I was wondering if there was a temp agency nearby. I'd like to hire an assistant while I'm in Boise."

"Yes, Mrs. Garris, our hotel does offer that kind of service."

"You're kidding, right?"

"No, we don't get a lot of people in here for more than a week. When we do, we offer the use of one of our employees to act as an assistant to important business persons, such as yourself."

"Well, I'd like to meet a couple before I decide. I'll be handling large sums of money and I have to know that I can trust this person."

"Not a problem. Whenever you're ready, just go to the lobby and meet with the Concierge of the hotel, Mr. Raymond, and he'll help you."

"Thank you," she hung up the phone. She put her hair up and headed downstairs to the lobby. As she was approaching the desk clerk, she could hear the heated discussion between him and another man.

"I don't think you understand, sir," the desk clerk said. "There are no reservations under your name."

"Don't give me that! I made a reservation specifically at this hotel for this day!" he snapped back.

"No, there are no reservations under your name. It must be another hotel."

The man slammed his fist on the counter. "Just forget it. Can I get a room or not?"

"No, sir, we're booked up," The man started to storm out of the hotel. "Mr. O'Roark, you left your keys."

He came back, grabbed his keys, and ran out _._

Alexis followed after him, but he had driven away quickly in his car. Alexis walked back to the clerk. "Was there a problem here?"

"He swore he made a reservation, but we don't have it. Nothing you need to worry about, Mrs. Garris," he smiled at her.

"Um, Larry, thank you. Where's Mr. Raymond's office?" she asked.

He pointed down the hall. "Second door on your right. His name's on the door."

"Thank you," she walked down the hall to Mr. Raymond's office. She took a deep breath and knocked softly.

"Who is it?" A voice called from inside.

"Mrs. Garris, I mean, Alexis Garris," she answered.

"Please, come in."

She opened the door carefully and found a very tall, dark-haired man sitting behind his desk.

He held out her hand to her. "Yes, Mrs. Garris, have a seat. What can I do for you?"

"I'll be in town for a few weeks and need to hire a short-term assistant. I was told by the desk clerk that you were the one I needed to speak with," she crossed her legs.

"Oh, yes, well," he pushed his wire-framed glasses up on his nose. "We do have a few employees that could help you. I assume that you'd like to interview them yourself."

"Yes, sir. I'll be dealing with quite large sums of money and need someone I can trust. I'll pay this person four thousand dollars per week. I'm not sure how long I'll need them, but if I leave prior to completing a week, I'll pay for the entire week. I hate short weeks," she smiled.

"Sounds like I should work for you," he smiled.

She laughed slightly. "How long will it take to gather up these employees? I have a lot of business that I need to take care of."

"Let me make a call. Hold on one second," he said, as he picked up the phone. "Yes, please let Andrea, Josh, Cathy, and Kevin know that I need to speak with them," he hung up the phone. "Mrs. Garris, you may interview them in the empty office next door. Follow me," he led her into the office. "Feel free to use this during your entire stay."

"Thank you, and please call me Alexis," she smiled. "Have them wait outside and I'll talk to them one at a time."

He nodded as he closed the door behind him. Alexis sat back in the chair and smiled. "It's been so long since I've been behind a desk. Have I ever been behind a desk?" She laughed to herself. "Not really."

She stood up and opened the door. "Yes, Andrea, please come in."

She interviewed each person and then sent them outside to wait. She closed her eyes and leaned back. "I haven't hired anyone ever in my life. Jason usually does this," she turned around in the chair and stared out the window. "No, wait, I did hire Mary at the diner, but that was too easy. Oh, Mary, I miss you so much," she tried to compose her thoughts as she spun back around and reviewed the interview notes she had taken.

She took a deep breath and stood in the doorway. "After careful consideration, I'd like for Kevin to help me out for the next few weeks. Thank you all for your time."

"No one wants to work for a murderer anyway!" Cathy snapped.

"Shut up, Cathy," Josh said to her. "You're lucky Mr. Raymond didn't hear that."

"Yes, I did hear that," Mr. Raymond stepped out of his office. "Mrs. Garris, I apologize for the close-mindedness of our employees. Cathy, you can get your stuff and leave now. You're fired."

"Whatever!" She stormed down the hall.

Josh, Andrea, and Kevin stood there in shock.

"Mrs. Garris, I'm sincerely apologetic about this. I don't know what came over her."

"I'm used to it," Alexis said. "Other's opinions have no bearing on why I'm here in Boise. I want you to know that," she smiled at the three employees. "Kevin will be my assistant, but if you two want to do some other things for me, I'd appreciate it."

Josh and Andrea nodded. "What kind of things?" Andrea asked.

"Come into my office and we'll discuss it," Alexis said, as she walked back into the office and sat down.

The three employees followed her, and Mr. Raymond returned to his office.

### 22

KEVIN KNOCKED ON Alexis' office door. "Mrs. Garris, may I come in?"

"Yes, Kevin," she answered. "And, please, it's Alexis. I'm not that old," she smiled.

He sat down in front of her. "Yes, Alexis. I'm sorry," his green eyes smiled back at her. "I have a list of all the local rescue missions and Salvation Armies in the area."

"Good, thank you," she smiled. "I know that Andrea's working on the computer stuff. She should have all the disks burned by tomorrow. Those will get sent directly to Jason Abrams. I gave you his address yesterday."

"Yes, I have it. Don't worry. I'll take care of everything," he smiled at her. "Will you be handling the donations personally?"

"Yes, but you're welcome to sit in the meetings. If you could set up individual meetings with everyone on the list, I'd appreciate it. Anytime is good for me but try to make it this week."

"Um, Alexis, don't you have any fun?" Kevin smiled.

"Fun?"

"You know what fun is, don't you? I didn't mean to pry but you seem like you're all business."

"I'm sorry, Kevin. Yes, I do like to have fun, but to be honest, it's been a while."

"Alexis, what's your favorite movie of all time?"

"Movie?" She leaned back. "That's an easy one. _Stalag 17_. I love that movie. I used to have a copy of it, but I don't anymore."

He smiled. "Well, then you'll have to get yourself one."

"I know, but I don't have the time to track it down. It's an old movie."

"I know, one of my favorites, too," he ran his hand through his brown, sandy hair. "Actually, it's funny that you mentioned that one, because down at the cinema, they're having a William Holden film festival and that's the main billing."

"You've got to be kidding?" Her eyes lit up.

"No, it's on Saturday. Would you like to come with Josh and me?"

"Are you sure you'd want me to come with you?"

"You're very cool, Alexis. Look at what you're doing. Don't mind what people think. You have to let your hair down once in a while," he beamed at her.

"Sounds like it could be fun."

"Good. I'll have Josh track down that video for you. I know that he was still working on transferring your old video tapes to newer ones, so he should be able to find it for you."

"I hope so. I know I should be doing this all myself, but I didn't realize how much I had to catch up on. The videos are my personal tapes, but they only last for so long."

"You could always transfer them to DVD."

"I like the tapes. They remind me of when I recorded them," she smiled slightly. "DVDs are good for regular movies, but I like the videos, too."

He stood up. "Well, I'll make these appointments for you and then go talk with Josh. See you shortly," he left out the office.

"Nice kid," she whispered. "Oh, to be 20 again." As he looked through her papers on her desk, she got lost in her thoughts.

"Matthew, I'm putting in the movie, hurry up with the popcorn," Alexis called into the kitchen.

He walked out of the kitchen with a large bowl. "What is it with you and this movie?" he laughed.

"Oh, get over here. You know I love it. I can't help it. William Holden is just so damn good looking," she teased.

"Better than me?"

"Of course not, but he's got this thing about him."

"What? It's the uniform thing, isn't it? I don't see very many shiny medals on his chest," he teased.

"That's because they take them away from the prisoners," she laughed. "No, I like this movie. It's close to what really happened, and yet, it's not," she draped her legs across his as he sat down. "But I love you, baby. You know that, don't you?"

He kissed her softly. "Yes, I do. And you know what? I was a Captain, too."

"I know," she touched his chest. "You should wear your medals more often."

He shook his head. "Just turn on the movie," he wrapped his arm around her.

She stared at the papers in front of her. "I need a little break," she headed out of the office and walked outside to the hotel gardens. She sat down on a bench and closed her eyes. She loved the feeling of having the wind blow through her head.

"Um, excuse me? Mrs. Garris?" A familiar voice said.

Alexis looked up. "Paul? What are you doing here? Please, have a seat," she smiled.

"I saw you sitting here and thought I'd come over and say hello. I didn't realize that you'd be in Boise this long," Paul Welch said to her.

"I have some things that I need to take care of. I'll probably be here for another week or so," she smiled.

"Sounds familiar. I've been traveling for so long. I don't even know where to call home," he sighed.

"I know the feeling. I'm looking for a place to call home. But, don't you live in Arizona?"

"That's my brother, Steven. He runs several of the companies in the Florence and Phoenix areas. For some reason, he likes to focus on the smaller towns. He's looking to open up a Computer support business in a small town called Sars Springs."

Alexis smiled. "I've heard of that."

"You have?" Paul sounded surprised.

"Yes, my late husband was born and raised in Florence, but he used to tell me stories about some places called Middleburg and Sars Springs, specifically."

"That's too funny," he said. "Alexis, if you don't have plans, would you like to go to dinner with me?"

"Paul, I'd like that," she smiled as she patted his hand. "Have you contacted Elvin yet?"

"Yes, ma'am," he laughed. "I'm heading out there in about two weeks to meet with him personally. And, then, together, we're going back to Pennsylvania to improve the Garris Engineering Foundation."

"Good. I'm glad. Elvin's a good man. I've got a feeling that you two will get along fine."

Paul stood up. "Well, I've another meeting shortly. Can I pick you up, say around five?"

"Sure, I'll meet you in the lobby. The hotel has been gracious enough to offer me one of their vacant offices. I'll see you at five," Alexis watched as Paul walked out to the parking lot. "Hmmm, not bad. A rich man who drives his own car. Not bad at all."

She stood up and walked back to her office, where Josh was waiting for her with several boxes. "Mrs. Garris, I mean, Alexis, I've finished all the tapes."

"Good. Did you get the special boxes I ordered for them?" she asked.

"Yes, the heat or cold won't be able to break through to destroy the tapes," he set the boxes down. "Do you want them in your room?"

"No, the trunk of my car. I don't need those in my room. I won't be watching them anytime soon," she sighed.

"Not a problem," he smiled. "I hear that you'll be coming with us to the film festival."

"Yes, is that a problem for you?"

"No, ma'am," he smiled as he ran his hands through his blonde hair. "I think it's great. I love old movies, don't you?"

"Yes, I really do," she smiled.

"Oh, yeah. This is for you," he handed her a small box. "I stopped at the local video store and bought their last copy."

She opened the box to find the DVD, _Stalag 17_. "Thank you so much."

"Not a problem. I'll get these out to your car. The valet has your keys, right?"

"Yes, Josh. Thank you. You can stop by later and I'll give you your final paycheck."

"Oh, you won't be needing me anymore?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," she thought for a moment. "I'll tell you what, since it's short notice, I'll double it. I'll give you eight thousand dollars. And if I need you again for anything else, I'll have Kevin let you know."

"I'll see you later," he beamed.

Alexis locked up the office door and headed to her room. It had been a really long day, but she was looking forward to her dinner with Paul. It had been so long since she had a nice dinner with conversation, other than herself.

She got undressed and took a shower. She carefully picked out her clothes and got dressed. She dried and brushed her long red hair, as she stared at herself in the mirror. "I guess I can't hide behind the hair anymore," she whispered.

She picked up the phone and called down to the lobby. "This is Alexis Garris. Is there a hair salon nearby that takes walk-ins?"

"Yes, Mrs. Garris," he said. "Down the street, there's a salon. I can call them and let them know you're on your way."

"Thank you so much. I'd appreciate it," she hung up and headed to the salon.

An hour later, she returned to her room and smiled as she looked in the mirror. She needed a trim. Now her hair was below her shoulders. "Very nice," she said aloud. She looked at her watch and turned on the television.

As she sat on the bed, there was a knock on the door. She opened it. "Paul, what are you doing here?" she smiled.

"I know, we were supposed to meet downstairs, but I finished my business a little early. I see you did, too."

She touched her hair. "Yeah, come on in. I was watching TV. It helps me relax. I like watching the local news," she sat down on the bed. "Have a seat."

He sat down in the chair in the corner and pulled it toward her. "Thanks for having dinner with me tonight."

"I should thank you. To be honest, the only real companion I've had for a long time is myself or, well, a cop," she said.

"The cop thing, right. I do recall something about that."

"Well, yeah, but it's time I grew up and moved on with my life. I'm trying so hard. I guess that's why I'm doing business now. It seems like business and money are the only things in my life I can control."

"I completely understand. I travel around the country and world trying to make things better, but I don't have a place to call home. Steven is in Arizona, but he doesn't need me. He's doing so well there. I'm happy for him, but I can't get myself to settle down."

"I understand. I want to settle down, but I wish that I could go someplace where no one would know who I was."

"Alexis, are you all right?"

She stood up. "Paul, let's go get something to eat."

"I'd love to. Where would you like to go?" he asked.

"Well, I haven't really been too far from the hotel, but I hear there's a nice Italian restaurant at the edge of town."

"Sounds great," he put his arm around her and led her to his car.

She laughed, as he opened the car door for her. "Did I miss something?"

"No, Paul. I'm sorry. It's just most businessmen that I know, have a driver."

"I like to drive. But, don't you drive, too?"

"Yes, if I have to. I like walking. It clears my head, but, yes, I drive a silver BMW."

"Oh, that really nice car in the garage. I've seen it. It's very nice."

"It has a lot of power," she smiled as he closed the door.

He drove them to the restaurant and took her hand as the waiter led them to a private table.

Paul looked up at the waiter. "I'd like a '97 Cabernet, please."

"Yes, sir."

"You don't mind red wine, do you?"

"No, I love red wine. I haven't had a Cabernet before. Usually I drink Merlot. The '97s are good years, though."

"Yes, they are," he laughed slightly.

"What?" Alexis leaned in to his words.

"I actually have a wine cellar on my private plane."

"You're kidding, right?" she smiled.

"No. I'm not a connoisseur or anything, but I know what I like when I see it, or taste it," he stroked her hand.

"I've got to ask, Paul. Don't take offense by this, please," she touched his face lightly.

"No, Alexis, I'm not making a pass at you."

"How'd you know I was going to ask that?"

"Because I just thought about the way I said it. I didn't mean to," he took a deep breath. "Alexis, I have to tell you, I'm gay."

She smiled. "And?"

"And nothing. I'm gay, that's it."

"Paul, what does that have to do with anything? I think you're an attractive man. I don't care who you sleep with. Sometimes I don't care who I sleep with," she paused. "What do you want, really want?"

"You're not offended?" Paul smiled.

"No. Too many people get hung up on who others sleep with. I could care less. I care about people. People in general."

"Alexis, what do you want?"

"Right now, while we're in town together, I'd like for us to just hang out together. If you don't mind."

"I'd like that," Paul looked up as the waiter approach them. The waiter poured Paul a small amount in a glass and gave him the cork to smell. "Perfect," he said, as he took a sip and swished it around in his mouth. "Please, pour some for the lady first."

Alexis took a sip of her wine. "This is really good. Thank you," she smiled. After the waiter took their order, she gazed into Paul's eyes. "So, are you involved with anyone special?"

He laughed. "Actually, no, in my line of work it's hard to settle down."

"I used to think that at one time, but then I met Matthew. I guess now that he's gone, it's back to the way it was."

"It must be so hard on you. I mean, you didn't just lose him, but everything that happened to you was terrible."

"It was hard. It's getting better. Well, at least, I don't want to die anymore. I live one day at a time," she looked up as the waiter placed their food in front of them. "But, I still feel like there's something or someone that I'm missing. Paul, I have to tell you, I'm a wreck. I may look like I'm holding it all together, but I'm not."

"Well, you certainly are beautiful and smart," he sighed. "I have to tell you that, if I wasn't gay..." he laughed.

"Thanks," she blushed. "So, tell me about you. What are you all about, besides work? Do you do anything for fun?"

"Fun? What's that?" he laughed.

"Yeah, right. Sometimes I have to be reminded myself."

"Actually, when I can, I go deep sea diving. I also like driving racecars. I've my own track in Nevada. I go there and just drive really fast. And the best part about it is that I don't have to get worried about being pulled over."

"Sounds like fun," she smiled. "I like to drive fast, too. My husband got me hooked on motorcycles, but I won't buy one. They're no fun unless you have someone to wrap your body around."

He laughed.

They finished their dinner and he drove her back to the hotel room. She reached up and kissed him softly on the mouth. "Thank you, Paul, for a wonderful evening."

He touched her face and kissed her back. "I'm sorry," he smiled.

"Don't be. I haven't had a non-sexual kiss in so long. It felt really nice," she kissed him again and then hugged him tightly. "Would you like to come in? We could share a bottle of wine and just talk. I mean, yes, we have to work tomorrow, but being your own boss does have some perks."

"You're right. I'd love to come in."

She closed the door as he took off his suit jacket. She went into the bathroom and walked out in her robe. "Hope you don't mind."

"Not at all. I kicked off my shoes."

She called room service, ordered a few bottles of wine, and then sat next to him on the sofa near the window. He put his arm around her and she laid her head on this chest. "So, do you really think that you and Elvin can keep Matthew's shop going?"

"Shop?"

"Sorry, that's what he called it. I know, it's a 20-story building, but he called it 'the shop.'"

Paul laughed. "He was a good man, wasn't he?"

"Yeah, he was," she rubbed her forehead back and forth with her hand. "So, tell me more about Steven."

"What do you want to know?"

"Well, I only met him for a short time. You two resemble each other, but you two are so different. What's his story? I know yours," she patted his leg.

"Steven is a wonderful man. Our father raised us and when he died, we decided to go into business together. We started out with our father's company. It was failing, as was his health. When he passed away, we needed to fix it, if only to do it for the people left behind. So, that's what we did. We formed the Welch Corporation. We've had a few stockholders, so it can be regulated as a corporation, but, technically, we're partners," he smiled.

"So, you travel and Steven, what? Stays behind?"

"We grew up in Phoenix. I wanted to travel and expand our business. You know, help more people. Where I focus on businesses, Steven primarily focuses on things like hospitals. I know he has a new venture, I think he's calling it Solutions Computer Systems. He's going to base it out of Sars Springs. I think I told you this."

"What's in Sars Springs?"

"Well, the jobs are depleted. If you aren't a doctor, waiter, or police officer, there are basically no jobs, unless you own your own business."

"What's Solutions about?"

"It basically will provide computer systems, software, and support to surrounding businesses."

"What kind of businesses?"

"He'll start out with hospitals and insurance companies."

"All comes down to the health field with Steven, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, I think it has to do with the fact that our mother died giving birth to him. She didn't make it to the hospital in time. It was too far away. He never knew her, but he loved her because of the life she allowed him to have."

Alexis smiled. "He must be a remarkable man."

"He really is. He does own some small businesses on his own, but the corporation owns the larger ones. He takes care of his employees."

"Good. Someday, I hope that I'll meet up with your brother again."

"You never know what life will bring you," he kissed her forehead.

"I'm glad you're here, Paul."

"So am I."

Alexis woke up and looked over at Paul, who was lying next to her in the bed. "Um, Paul, wake up. It's morning."

He rubbed his eyes. "What time is it?"

"It's only six. How much did we drink last night?" Alexis asked.

"Only a few bottles," he sat up. "Well, this is the first morning I woke up in someone else's bed without having to worry that something happened between us."

She smiled. "Me, too," she kissed his cheek. "We're sure, aren't we?"

They both looked under the covers at themselves. "I think so," Paul said. "But, of course, I've never been with a woman before."

Alexis climbed out of bed. "There's a first time for everything," she teased. "But, if you haven't, I'm sure that we didn't."

He got up and started to get dressed. "Well, I better get to my room and change. I did have a good time with you, Alexis."

"So, did I," she hugged him. "It was nice to have someone other than myself to talk to," she walked him to the door. "I'll see you soon."

She lay back on the bed and curled up with Paul's pillow. She felt the gun and pulled it out. "Oh, god. I forgot all about this. Thank god, the safety was on. I have to be more careful," she muttered.

### 23

ALEXIS HURRIED DOWN to the lobby to meet with Kevin and Josh. "Hey, guys. All set to go?" she said, as she approached them.

"Yup. It's only a few blocks from here. You don't mind the walk, do you?" Josh asked.

"No but are you sure you two want to be seen in public with me?" she asked.

"Let's go. Who cares what anyone thinks. Besides, it's so cool to be seen with such a beautiful, mature woman," Kevin said.

"Mature?" Alexis laughed.

"Don't mind him. He thinks anyone over the age of 25 is mature," Josh said.

"Let's just go," Alexis took their hands and they walked down the road to the cinema.

They stood in line and then made their way into the theater. She leaned back and took a deep breath as the movie started. She couldn't help herself, but she mouthed the entire dialogue to herself as she watched it.

Josh and Kevin watched her as she watched the movie. They were in total awe of this powerful woman.

After the movie was over, she sat in the seat until the theater was empty. She looked over at them. "What?"

"Nothing. We just can't believe that you know this entire movie by heart."

"I told you. I love this movie," she sighed. "Let's go grab something to eat."

"Do you want to see the other films?" Kevin asked.

"No, that's OK. I'd rather get something to eat."

"Not a problem," Kevin took her hand.

The three of them had lunch at a local deli and talked for a while.

Alexis stood up. "Well, guys, I'm going to head back to the hotel. Thanks for today. I had a really good time."

"Thanks, Alexis. Thanks for everything."

"You're welcome," she kissed both their cheeks. "You know if I were a few years younger..."

"We're not that young," Kevin said.

"No, I'm that old," she walked away and headed back to her hotel.

She walked up to the desk clerk. "Yes, I'll be checking out on Monday morning. Tomorrow, I don't want to be disturbed by anyone, with the exception of Mr. Welch."

"Yes, ma'am," he said.

She headed back to her room and began packing. She wanted to relax on Sunday and not do anything, at all.

Sunday morning arrived a bit too early for Alexis. She sat up in the bed and stared at herself in the mirror. It's just time to move on. I don't know how much longer I can continue to be Alexis, she thought.

She lazily got out of bed, sat down on the sofa, and stared out the window. Soon, room service arrived with her standing order that wasn't actually hers.

"Thank you. And, please, I won't need anything tomorrow but coffee," she said.

"Not a problem," she said, as she left the room.

Alexis sat back down on the sofa and stared at the telephone. _Should I call him?_ She wondered. "Aw, what the hell," she picked up the phone and dialed Paul's room number. "I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

"Alexis? Is that you?"

"I know. I disturbed you. I'm sorry. We can talk later."

"No, that's OK. Did you need something?"

"I wanted to talk to you. I thought you'd like to stop over for breakfast. I'm just having coffee and toast, but you can have whatever you want."

"I'll be right down," he hung up the phone.

She put her robe on and as she walked out of the bathroom, Paul knocked on the door. "Hey, come on in. I'm sorry, that I woke you."

"No, that's OK. I was awake," he sat down next to her. "Alexis, what's wrong?"

She sighed. "Paul, I'm leaving town tomorrow."

"Oh," he looked down. "So soon?"

"Yeah, I think it's time that I let Alexis go. I can't keep up with being her anymore."

"Who are you going to be? What are you going to do?"

"I was always planning on going to Vegas, but I think it's time to go there now."

"Alexis, if I may ask, why now? Did something happen?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "I had fun yesterday. I really did. I think I need to lose myself for a while. I don't think I'll stay in Vegas, but right now, it's just what I need."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"To be honest, I'm not sure. I guess, this is kind of good-bye. If you and I ever see each other again, I may be a whole new person."

He kissed her mouth softly. "I'm sorry to see you go. I really enjoyed spending time with you. I do hope, though, that our paths will cross."

She wrapped her arms around him. "I'm leaving tomorrow. Will you spend the day with me?"

"Sure, anything special planned?"

"Well, I was planning on watching my favorite movie, _Stalag 17_. I got to see it on the big screen yesterday at the film festival, but I need to watch it again."

"I'd love to," he grinned. "Is my robe proper attire for this movie?"

"Yes, definitely," she stood up and inserted the DVD into the player.

Paul watched her as she mouthed the dialogue of the movie. He brushed her hair out of her face and held her in his arms.

When the movie was finished, he kissed her softly. "Alexis, what's wrong?"

"Sometimes I feel like I'm in a prison camp. But the camp is my own body. That's why I need to break free," she leaned her head back. "At the end of the movie, when he escapes, he's going to be someone else. That's what I need to do. I need to escape."

"Whatever you decide to do with your life, make sure that you include happiness. It's not all about business."

"I know, and thanks, Paul, for everything. It's not very often that I have a man in my room without sleeping with him."

"Don't you have male friends?"

"I did, once, yes, John. He was killed. He was my best friend in the whole world. Greg was also my friend, but I killed his wife, so that kind of put a damper on that friendship."

"Are you alone in the world, Alexis?"

"I have my attorney, Jason. He's like a father to me. I also have Emily, my sister-in-law. But other than that, it's just me. Everyone else is dead."

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize."

"That's OK. I contact Jason and Em and let them know that I'm still alive and where I am. I can't bring myself to go back to Pennsylvania. I need to make a new home and a new life for myself. I may even get a job."

"A job? Wow," Paul laughed slightly.

"Paul, I like to work. I like meeting people. I want to go somewhere, where no one will know that I'm Alexis Garris. I want people to treat me like, well, a regular person, not an heiress."

"I hope you get your wish."

They spent the rest of the afternoon just talking. Around five, Paul stood up. "Well, Alexis, I guess this is good-bye. I'll miss you, but I'll never forget the past week."

"Me, either. Good-bye, Paul," she kissed him softly. "Good luck.

She closed the door and walked over to the window. She sat on the sofa and stared at the evening stars. The next thing she knew, it was already morning.

She called down to the lobby. "Yes, please forget room service today. I'd like someone to come and get my bags and bring my car around front."

"Right, away," she said.

"Thank you," Alexis hung up the phone and got dressed quickly.

As she packed the gun in her suitcase, the bellboy arrived to get her bags. She looked back at the room and smiled.

She followed him to the lobby and walked over to the desk clerk. "I'm checking out now," she said. "Please make sure that Josh, Kevin, and Andrea get these envelopes."

"Yes, ma'am," she smiled.

"Oh, by the way, has Mr. Welch checked out yet?"

"No, he's not scheduled to leave until tomorrow."

"Good, will you please have a dozen champagne colored roses sent to his room along with a '97 bottle of Cabernet?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Oh, yeah, here. Please send this along with those items," she looked down at the note she wrote, _Thanks, Paul, for everything-Alexis._

"I will. I hope that you enjoyed your stay here."

"I did and thank you. Please tell Mr. Raymond thank you for me also," Alexis headed out to her car.

### Nevada

### 24

ALEXIS _FINALLY_ MADE it to Las Vegas. She walked up to the desk clerk of the _New Frontier Hotel & Casino_. "Yes, you have a reservation for Alexis Garris," she whispered.

"Yes, Mrs. Garris."

"Please, I'd like my stay here to be anonymous. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes, ma'am. Anything you want," she smiled.

"Good," Alexis looked around. "Is something wrong around here? There are cops all over the place."

She laughed slightly. "No, ma'am. There's a police officer convention at one of the hotels down the street."

Alexis' eyes widened "You've got to be kidding?"

"No, police officers from all over. They got everyone, patrol officers, metro PD, some detectives, local officers, and even state troopers," she smiled. "Not a good week to be a criminal."

Alexis laughed. "That's just too funny."

"Here are your keys. Your stay is confidential."

"Good. Just advise anyone to just address me as ma'am, please."

"I will. Tyler will take you to your room now."

Alexis smiled as Tyler picked up her bags. "Thank you."

Alexis stood out on the balcony as she gazed at the amazing neon lights of Las Vegas. "Yes, perfect place to get lost," she whispered to herself.

She unpacked her suitcase and changed her clothes. She carefully placed her gun under the pillow.

She smoothed out her short, black dress and put on her heels. She headed down to the bar. She was in complete awe of the officers wandering around the lobby of the hotel that she didn't hear the man come up behind her.

"Um, Jane," he put his hand on her shoulder.

She turned around quickly. "Evan? Is that you?" She smiled and hugged him.

"Yeah. How are you, Jane? Or should I say, Alexis?" he grinned.

"So, I guess, my secret is out," she smiled.

"I knew before. So, don't worry about it," he kissed her softly.

"How much of my secret is out?" She flirted.

"Well, you know, it's kind of funny, but I was talking with a few others that are here, and they seemed to know you, too."

"You've got to be kidding."

"No, Alexis, I'm not."

"So, now what?"

"Why don't you follow me?" he took her hand and led her into a banquet room. The men stood up as they saw her.

Sergeant Jack Townley walked over to her and hugged her. "Please, Alexis, sit down."

"Jack? It's so good to see you," she sat next to him and looked around at the other men, as they smiled at her. "So," she took a deep breath. "Trading Alexis stories?"

They laughed. "Well, kind of," Officer Tom Reilly spoke up. "We didn't mean to, we just kind of grouped ourselves together. You know, like an Alexis fan club."

She shook her head. "Tom, you're just lucky I gave you your badge back," she laughed. "Aren't you a long way from Ohio?"

"Well, it's a convention. State troopers, local PDs, and state patrols."

She looked at Evan. "Then what are you doing here?"

He looked down. "Spending the last year of my retirement as a patrol officer. Lost my detective shield."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. It wasn't my fault, was it?"

He sat next to her. "No, it wasn't. It was all about me. No worries. I still get my pension, though."

She looked at Jack Theisen. "So, Jack, how have you been since I last saw you?"

"I'm still really sorry about that."

"Don't worry about it. I know you were just doing your job. You're not the one that took me to jail, just back to the hospital."

"I know, but I still feel bad about it," he whispered.

"Don't, please. I have to say that it's a little awkward sitting with all of you, well, since, well, you know," she sighed. "But I just want you to know that I came to Vegas to get lost. You need to know that Alexis Garris is now dead. You all played a wonderful, sexy and sensual part in her fantasies, but now, Alexis is dead," she stood up. "Thank you, everyone. Please don't take this wrong. I enjoyed every minute and every _inch_ of each of you. It really is good to see you again, but I need to leave now," she stood up and walked back into the lobby. She looked around and headed toward the bar _. Did I really say that?_

"Vodka, straight up, please," she asked the bartender.

"Here, you go."

She smiled. "Thank you," she drank it down quickly. "Another, please," he set down another drink. This time she sipped it.

"Excuse me, ma'am? Are these seats taken?"

Alexis took in a deep breath and smiled. She looked up at the handsome man, whose eyes smiled at her. He had such a beautiful scent. "Officers, right?"

The two men sat down next to her. "How'd you know we were cops?"

"Not many men call me ma'am, unless they work here or are cops," she twirled her hair. "So, where are you from?" She flirted.

"Arizona. I'm Randy and this is my partner, Leon."

She shook their hands and smiled. "Nice to meet both of you. I'm, um, Lexie," she said.

"Nice to meet you, Lexie," Randy said.

She was about to lean in closer when she noticed the wedding ring on Randy's finger. "Well, I hope you two enjoy your stay," she stood up quickly and paid the bartender.

She hurried out into the lobby and dropped her purse on the ground. When she bent over to pick it up, a man handed it back to her. "Here, let me help you," he smiled brilliantly at her. "Here you go, ma'am," he saluted her and walked away.

She turned around and watched him walk out to the street. "Mr. O'Roark, your car's waiting for you," The doorman said to him.

Alexis ran as fast as she could to the door, but he had already pulled away. "JC?" she whispered.

She shook her head and turned back to go into the hotel. As she entered the lobby, she noticed that Randy and Leon were no longer at the bar. "Good. No more cops," she said.

She sat down at the bar and ordered another drink. She noticed a dark-haired man watching her and smiling. She nodded to him.

He walked over slowly. "Is this seat taken?" His dark eyes smiled back at her.

"No, please, have a seat. I'm Lexie," she smiled.

"I know who you are. I'm Peter. Peter Johnson."

"You know who I am?"

"Yes, your secret's safe with me, if mine is safe with you?" he stroked her hand.

"What secret is that?"

"That I'm attracted to you."

"Oh, what makes you so attracted to me?"

"I happened to overhear your conversation with the officers in the banquet room. You want to get lost, don't you?"

"Kind of. I just want to leave my past and my previous life behind me. I did what I could as Alexis, but I need to be a new person. Just not sure what to do next. So, I'll stay here until I figure it out," she smiled.

"Would you like to have dinner with me?"

"Are you from Vegas or just in town?"

"I'm from Vegas," he smiled brightly.

"Good. I'd love to have dinner with you."

He took her hand and led her to the restaurant down the hall from the bar. He gazed at her from across the table. "So, um, Lexie, how long are you staying in town?"

"Um, Peter, not really sure right now. I just need to get away from myself. I've done so much in the past two years. I just can't take it anymore."

He held her hand. "Like what?"

"Oh, let's see, I guess just traveled and met, well, you know, um, cops," she rubbed her forehead back and forth with her hand.

"I see. Do you have something against cops?"

"Oh, no, actually I used to hold myself against them," she smiled. "Just a fascination, or fantasy, I should get away from."

"Oh," he looked down. "Lex, I'm a police officer."

"Sorry. I really didn't know. Most of the cops around here are at least wearing their badges."

"Do you want to leave, now that you know?"

She smiled. "No. I don't want to," she sighed. "But I do have to be honest with you, I haven't been in a real relationship since my, well, husband, passed away. And at this moment, I'm not looking for one."

"What are you looking for?" he smiled brightly at her.

"Peter, I really don't know. I don't even know if you want to know who I am or what's going on with me."

"Lex, I'd love to find out what's going on in that head of yours if you'll let me."

She smiled. "Do you mind if we skip dinner and just go for a walk?"

"Not a problem," he took her hand and led her out to the street.

They walked down the strip for a while. Alexis took a deep breath to enjoy the sights. She leaned her head on Peter's shoulder. "This is nice."

He turned and looked at her. "What do you want to happen between us? I know we just met, and I have to admit, I picked you up for two reasons."

"And those were?" She flirted.

"Sex and sex with you," he touched her face. "But, now, that I've met you. I'd like a little bit more."

"Like what?"

"Just someone to do things with. I'm not looking for a commitment or anything, just someone to go out with, and do things together, and well, yes, have sex," he licked his lips.

"Peter," she stroked his cheek. "I think that I can do that. But..."

"But what?"

"If we, well, go somewhere, you know to have, well, sex, I don't want to do it here at the strip. Everyone seems to know me, and they'll just assume..."

"I know. I was kind of going to suggest that. I think we should get two separate rooms. To be honest, if the guys at the station find out that I'm with Alexis Garris, I'll never hear the end of it. I'd just like to keep this between you and me."

"I'm flattered and I'm not," she laughed slightly.

"I'm sorry, I was just being honest."

"No, that's fine. I prefer honesty. That's why I was honest with you," she took his hand. "Let's go eat. After dinner, you go home, and I'll go to my room. Tomorrow, if you want, we can meet somewhere when you get off shift."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Tonight, I'm just tired and hungry," Alexis kissed his cheek. "Let's eat."

### 25

ALEXIS ROLLED OVER and looked into Peter's eyes. "So, do you regret us?" she whispered.

"Not a chance. I've enjoyed our time together," Peter gently brushed her hair out of her face. "What about you, Lexie? Do you regret us?"

"No. I really don't. I wanted to get lost and that's what I did. I got lost in you. I do care about you. After first, I thought, I thought that we would be about sex, but, Peter, it doesn't feel that way."

He kissed her softly on the mouth. "No, it's not just about that. Yes, we're so great together, but it's not about that."

She curled next to him and covered them up with the blanket. "So, have you told anyone about me yet?"

"Just my dad. He doesn't live around here. You know, I can't tell anyone about you. I don't need the hassle of that kind of fame."

"I really don't want anyone to know that I'm here either. Unfortunately, sitting in that banquet hall the entire last three years of my life came flooding back. Well, most of it."

"Cops and badges? What is it with that?"

"I don't know anymore. Peter, I'm not with you because you're a cop. I'm putting cops behind me. I want to move forward. I don't want to be me anymore. It's so difficult to be me."

"Lexie, you're fine just as you are. You need to decide what you want to do with your life. You can't be lost the whole time, but you can be a new person."

"Right now, I just like being with you. I like being in your arms. I like talking to you. You're nicer than you let on, you know."

"Lexie," he kissed her. "You have a spell over me. I can't explain it, but you do. I can't stop thinking about you. Even when I'm out to bust the scumbags of Vegas, I think about you."

"Oh, Peter, don't let me interfere with you job."

"I don't, but I like thinking about you."

"You're so sexy," she kissed him. "Come here. Let me show you how much," she pulled him close to her and held him tightly.

He kissed her all over her bare chest and gently touched her face. "Oh, Lexie, I want you more than ever."

She wrapped her legs around him as he made love to her. She was so afraid that he was in love with her. _I don't love him, but he feels so good right now._

Alexis woke up and sighed heavily. She put on her robe and stood out on the balcony. "Oh, Matthew, the nightmares will never end. I'm sorry, I have to try and forget. I'm enjoying myself with Peter, but I know he's not the one. Nothing seems to be working. In order to escape from the past, I need to become someone else. I'm just not sure who that is, anymore."

She walked inside and sat down on her bed. She lifted up the pillow and pulled out the gun. She set it in her purse carefully. She picked up the phone. "This is Alexis Garris. I'll be checking out today. Please send someone up in an hour to retrieve my bags," she then dialed Peter's cell number and left a voice message. "Peter, it's Lex, I'm checking out of the hotel. I think I'm just going to get a room off of the strip. I'll just stay where we usually go, the Forest Arms. Stop by tonight. It'll be under Lexie Garrison," she hung up the phone.

She got dressed and packed up her bags. Soon, the bellboy was there to take her bags. He carried them out to the car and she headed to the Forest Arms Motel.

"Hi, I'm Lexie Garrison. I'd like a room. I'll pay for a month in advance if that's OK. I'd also like to make sure that the room next door's vacant at all times unless Peter Johnson books the room."

"Yes, ma'am. We can do that for you. That will be an extra five thousand."

"Here's a check for ten thousand. It's good. If you keep your word, I'll pay an extra five thousand when I leave. I don't want anyone to know where I am."

"Don't worry. Who are you anyway?"

"It doesn't matter. No one special. If Lieutenant Peter Johnson wants to know where I am, please let him know which room. Thank you," Alexis headed to her room and started to unpack. She took her gun out of her purse and placed it under the pillow.

She lay down on the bed and sighed. "Well, here I am, lost, totally lost," she closed her eyes and fear entered her dreams.

Matthew pushed Alexis out of the way and Amanda plunged the knife into his chest.

"Matthew!" Alexis screamed. "Oh, god, Matthew. No. No, baby," she held Matthew in her arms. "Stay with me, Love. Please don't leave me," she cried.

Matthew looked up at Alexis. "Love, know that I love you. I'll always be with you," he smiled slightly. "I do love you," he reached up slowly and touched her face. "Love," his arm lowered to the ground as he took his last breath.

"No, Matthew. Please come back. Don't leave me. You promised you would never leave me," she cried, as she held his lifeless body.

Alexis looked up at Amanda, who just stared at her. "You killed him!" She screamed. "You killed my Matthew!"

Alexis looked around and everyone disappeared. "Matthew, where are you?"

"Angel, you'll be safe soon. Just follow your destiny. I'll save you, but first, save yourself. Decide who you need to be."

"Who are you?"

"When I save you, you'll know. See you, Angel."

Alexis woke up with a start. "Who are you?" she yelled. She opened the window to the room and stared at the road below. "And who the hell is following me?" She shook her head angrily. "I'm not who I'm supposed to be." She opened the door to leave the room, and there stood Peter.

"Peter, what are you doing here?"

"I got your message. Why are you here?"

"Alexis is dead, now. I figured I might as well stay here. It's easier for us," she hugged him.

"Lex, are you all right?"

"No. I'm not," she dropped on the bed.

"More nightmares or stalkers?"

"I know. You think I'm crazy. But I'm not. Ever since I left Pennsylvania, I feel like someone's following me. That's why I have the gun."

"What gun?"

"No questions, please. Yes, the nightmares are coming back. Why now, I just don't know."

"Lex, sit, talk with me. It's OK," he sat down next to her and put his arm around her.

"Peter, thanks."

"For what?"

"Well, I know that, we've had, well, a lot of really good sex, but you've also become my friend."

"Lex, yes, the sex is incredible, but aside from that, I care about you. You do have that spell over me," he kissed her cheek.

"What are your plans right now?" She leaned in to him. "You always make me forget the bad dreams."

"Well, I have to get back to the station, but I can come back in about three hours."

"Three hours?" She sighed.

"Yeah, Lex, just sit back. Have a nice hot bath, watch your favorite movie and then I'll be here. I'll give you a night to remember. I promise. I'll just check my things in next door, OK?"

"Sounds like a plan. I wish we didn't have to, but we do, don't we?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry. But you still are really Alexis Garris. You can call yourself any name, but legally, you're Alexis Garris."

She kissed him softly on the mouth. "See you soon."

He left the room and she ran the hot water for the tub. After her tub, she followed Peter's advice and watched _Stalag 17_ until he arrived.

He smiled as he looked at her. "Lex, are you feeling better now?"

"Much, now that you're here," she wrapped her arms around him.

He slowly removed her robe and ran his hands down her shoulders. "You're so beautiful," he laid her on the bed and caressed her skin so gently.

"Peter, come here," she removed his utility belt and threw it on the ground. She unzipped his pants and lowered them down his legs. He carefully kicked them onto the floor.

He held her so tightly. "Lex, I need to tell you something," he whispered. "I think that I l-l..."

"Later," she kissed him hard on the mouth and rolled him over. He looked up at her in shock as she heard a muffled bang.

She looked down at him as blood streamed down his face. "Peter, are you OK?" She felt for his pulse, but he was dead.

"Oh, god, Peter," she ran her hands through his hair and felt a tiny hole. When she noticed the hole in the pillow, she pulled out the gun. "Oh, god. I forgot to put the safety on, what the hell did I do?"

She held Peter's body while she cried in pain and guilt. "Oh, god, Peter. I'm so sorry," she closed her eyes as she clutched him close to her.

"Murderer! You killed again. This time you won't get away with it!" She heard the reporters' voices in her head.

"I can't go through that again," she looked down at Peter. He had this large lump on his forehead. "I'm sorry, Peter," she kissed his lifeless mouth softly.

She wrapped towels around her hands and opened the adjoining door to his room and carried Peter's body into his room. She placed him in the tub and turned on the shower. She stood in the shower also, so that his blood would wash off her and be in the tub.

She dried herself off and went back to her room. She picked up his clothes off the floor and put them back in his room. She removed the sheets from her bed and switched mattresses with his room. She took the sheets off his old mattress and put them on hers.

Then she locked the adjoining door from the inside of his room. She carefully opened the front door and placed the do not disturb sign on his doorknob. She walked down the hall to the linen closet and pulled out some clean sheets.

She piled up the bloodied sheets and stuffed them into one of her bags. She put the clean sheets on her bed.

She opened her bag and pulled out an envelope of cash. She counted five thousand dollars in hundred-dollar bills and placed them in an envelope. She laid it on the table. She wiped down her entire hotel room so that her prints would not be there. She grabbed her bags and hurried out to her car.

She took a deep breath as she pulled out of the parking lot. She tried to stay at the speed limit and drove for about fifty miles until she hit another motel. The motel had cabins behind it, so she rented one of the cabins.

She parked her car behind the cabin and brought all of her bags inside.

She looked around the cabin room. It had a nice bed, bathroom, table, and fireplace. She went outside and grabbed some of the complimentary firewood and started a fire. Once the fire was burning, slowly, she added the bed sheets to it.

As the fire burned, she just stared at the flames. "Good-bye, Peter. I'm so sorry." Tears flowed down her cheeks. "Good-bye, Alexis." She leaned back in the bed and fell asleep.

### 26

ALEXIS WOKE UP the next morning, scraped the ashes out of the fireplace, and threw them in the garbage. She rummaged through her boxes in her trunk and found her strong box. She brought it into the cabin and placed the gun inside it. Then she went back out to the trunk and placed the strongbox in the container with all the videotapes.

She sat in the car and stared out the windshield before she drove to the nearest shopping mall to buy some new clothes and a few boxes of hair color.

She sat on the edge of her bed and stared in the mirror. "No one wants a murderer. Oh, Matthew, I can't be your wife anymore, but that doesn't mean that I won't keep you with me," she sobbed. "I can't be Alexis Garris anymore. She's dead. She has to be dead. She started to die the minute you left me," she rubbed her forehead back and forth with her hand. "Where do I go? How can I go anywhere without anyone knowing who I am?"

She leaned back in bed and closed her eyes as she remembered the small Arizona town.

"Someday, Love, we'll go there. I'd love to show you where _I_ grew up," Matthew smiled at her.

She cuddled in his arms. "Tell me about it. Your eyes light up when you talk about home."

"Florence is a beautiful town. Just outside is the Tom Mix monument and the Natural Gardens," his blue eyes smiled. " _I_ grew up there and loved it. We used to hang out in Middleburg and Sars Springs. They're a few hours away, but the towns are small. It's funny, everyone knows you, but they welcome strangers and it's just so beautiful. _I_ love those towns."

"Sounds wonderful," she kissed his cheek.

"It's a great area to _have_ a family, or just sit back and enjoy yourself."

"You miss it, don't you?"

"Yeah, _I_ do. _I_ mean, my family is long gone, but _I_ had friends there. JC was there. He was such a great guy."

"Well, if he was your friend, he had to be."

" _I_ love you. Someday, I'll take you there."

She opened her eyes and remembered what Paul had told her about Solutions Computer Systems. "Sars Springs, I think it's time, I went home. I think I need to have a home."

She went into the bathroom and dyed her hair. She took off her clothes and threw them in the garbage. She put on her new jeans and blouse. She went through her suitcases and discarded her lingerie and power suits. She placed her new clothes in the suitcases.

She grabbed her cell phone and dialed Emily's number. "Em, it's me. I've something that I need to tell you," Alexis cried, as she told her about Peter's death.

"Alexis, it's not your fault."

"It is. Please understand. I need to become someone new. I can't be Alexis Garris anymore."

"What are you saying?"

"After I call John, I'm destroying the cell phone. I'll contact you when I reach my final destination."

"Where's that?"

"Sars Springs, Arizona. It's time that Matthew and I went home."

"I love you, Alexis," Emily cried. "Please take care of yourself."

"I love you, too, Em," she hung up and called Jason. "Jason, it's me. I need to change my name legally. Where do I go?"

"Why, Alexis?"

"Jason, don't ask. I'm at the point where I really need to be someone else. It's either that or die."

Jason explained what she had to do to become a new person. "Alexis, are you sure this is what you want?"

"It's what I need. I'll call you when I get home."

"Home?"

"Yeah, when I have a place to call home, I'll call you," she hung up. She stared in the mirror and smiled at her long, blonde hair. "I need to go home."

She spent the next few days following Jason's instructions. She even bought a new car so that it could be registered in her new name.

### Arizona
### 27

SHE PACKED ALL of her things and headed toward Sars Springs. After driving for about nine hours, she pulled off RT 28 and down Main Street. As she was driving, she noticed a _For Rent_ sign outside of a large apartment building. She slowly walked up the steps of the Hillcrest Apartments.

That afternoon, she moved into her new apartment. The next day, she took a walk around the small town, when she noticed the Solutions Computer Systems building.

She took a deep breath and walked in the building. She was greeted by a petite woman. "Hello, I'm Katrina. How can I help you?"

"I'm Alex Garrison. I'd like to apply for a job," she smiled.

###  Jim's Path

### 1

JAMES O'ROARK STOOD on the edge of the balcony of his hotel room and stared at the night sky. "What the hell am I doing?" he whispered. He looked down at the 20 stories below him. "What happened to my life?" His mind fluttered back to six years ago.

"Janet, what are you doing here? Where have you been?" he looked up from the front porch.

"I had to see you one last time," she whispered softly.

He stood up and walked down the steps. "One last time?"

"Jimmy, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I left the way I did. But I can't be married to you anymore. I can't be your perfect wife. You want––you want–– you want what Matthew has. You can't have it. That woman, that perfect bride, is what you want. I could see it in your eyes, I can't be her. I can only be me."

"Janet, that's not true. I love you. Don't you love me anymore?" His voice broke.

"I'm sorry, Jimmy. I just came back to get my stuff and say good-bye. This is it," she went into the house.

Jim followed her as she packed her things. "Please, don't leave. We can work this out."

"No, Jimmy, we can't. It's over. It has been over for a while now, but it took me seeing that look in your eyes to know the truth."

"What look? What truth? What are you talking about?" Jim pleaded with her to finish.

"You wish that you had your best friend's wife. I saw your eyes. I wish that you looked at me that way, but no. It's all about the perfect wife. Hey, and I hear she's rich, too. Why don't you just break up their marriage, as you did ours?"

"Janet, you don't know what you're saying. I love you. Don't you love me anymore? We did love each other. Isn't it still in our hearts?"

She walked out the front door and toward her car. She turned around one last time. "No, Jimmy. I don't love you anymore. This is it!"

"Drop dead! I never want to see you again!" he yelled.

Janet got in the car and sped out of the driveway. Jim dropped on the front steps of the porch and buried his face in his hands.

He shook his head. "How'd I know that you would really die?" he whispered. He turned and walked back into the hotel room. He looked around the room and shook his head. "I don't know what to do now," he dropped on the bed.

The phone ringing woke him up a few hours later. "Hello?" he muttered.

"James, it's mom."

"Mom? What are you doing calling me so late?"

"Baby, have you been watching the news?"

"No, mom. Why? Is something wrong?"

"I think you better watch the news. It's important. It's about Matthew."

"Matty? What about him?"

"I think you better turn on the news. Baby, he's been, well, he's been killed."

"What!"

"I'm sorry, James. I was just watching the news. He and a few of his friends were murdered on some camping trip. From what I understand, his wife was injured, but she's still alive."

"Thanks, Mom. I'll call you tomorrow," he sat up on the bed and turned on the television.

"And now back to our top story of the hour," The anchorman said. "Captain Matthew Garris, a retired Marine captain, along with two of his friends was brutally murdered tonight. Six friends went camping together. Two came back alive. Police have reason to believe that one of the victims was also the killer. Thirty-six-year-old Amanda Shapone, brutally stabbed Captain Garris, along with John Reardon, top bodyguard for the governor of Pennsylvania and his wife, Mary. As you're all aware, Captain Garris was married to Alexis Rossi, heiress to the Rossi Carpet Saver Estate. Alexis Garris is in critical condition at Pittsburgh General Hospital. Charges are pending against Mrs. Garris for the murder of Amanda Shapone. Amanda Shapone's husband, Gregory, was unharmed. We'll keep you informed as the information is provided to us."

Jim turned off the television. "Matty? Oh, my god. What the hell happened to you?" he covered his face with his hands. "What's this world coming to? How could you, of all people, be killed like that?"

"JC, come on. You have to get your butt moving," Matthew shook him.

Jim wearily looked up at Matthew. "Matty, what the hell time is it?"

"Three. Come on, Sarge wants us right away," he said.

"Matty, he can wait. The woman in my dreams cannot," he put his pillow over his head.

"O'Roark, move it now!" Matthew lifted up the mattress and flung Jim off of the cot.

"Gees, Matt. You didn't have to do that," Jim stood up slowly.

"I know, but it was fun," Matthew laughed. "Oh, come on. You're always an early riser."

"Not this early," he muttered, as he put on his uniform. "What does the Sarge want anyway?"

"Don't know. Let's just go. You can get your beauty sleep later," he laughed.

"Very funny. If anyone needs it, you do," Jim punched Matthew in the shoulder playfully.

Jim sat on edge of his bed and stared at the off television. "Oh, Matty, what happened?" he picked up the phone and called his mother. "Mom, it's Jim. What happened?" he sobbed.

"Did you see the news?" she asked.

"Yeah, but it didn't give a lot of information."

"James, why don't you come home? Your father and I are worried about you."

"Mom, I can't. Not yet. It's just not time. I don't know when it'll be, but something has been missing inside me for so long and I have to find it," he took a deep breath. "I should've stayed in contact with Matty. I just let life get in the way. Now, I can never see him again."

"Are you going to Pennsylvania for the funeral?"

"I don't think so. I can't see Matthew that way. We said good-bye years ago before he left for Wyoming. That's the way I want to remember him, not butchered."

"I understand completely. James, just let me know where you are, please. Your father and I need you."

"Mom, I will. I promise," he hung up the phone. He lay back down on the bed and fell asleep.

She appeared in his head again, _I'll find you, someday_. He didn't know who she was or why she was in his head, but she was there, and he had to find her.

### 2

A WEEK LATER, Jim woke up when he heard the newspaper hit the door of the hotel room. He put on his robe and opened the door. He stared at the headlines. "Heiress arrested for Murder."

"What in the world is going on?" he muttered, as he read the article.

"Alexis Garris was arrested on manslaughter charges for the death of Amanda Shapone. As earlier reported, Amanda Shapone killed Matthew Garris, and Mary and John Reardon. Alexis Garris will be held in the Pottstown County jail once she's released from the Pittsburgh General Hospital. Bail has been set at one million dollars. However, due to legal issues, she's unable to make that amount. Alexis Garris is charged with brutally attacking Amanda Shapone with a cast iron pan."

He shook his head. "Protecting her husband gets her jail time. Nice. Very nice," he said in disbelief. "I wish I could help you, but I can't even help myself," he whispered. He stood up and stared in the mirror. "What happened to JC? I guess he's just gone forever. I'm sorry, Matty. I can't fix this for you. I know you would want me to help her, but I can't. I can't fix everything," he went in the bathroom and took a shower.

After he got dressed, he packed his bags. "I need to get out of here. He headed down to the lobby. "Yes, I'm going be checking out. I think I just need to leave Ohio for a little while. I need to be away from this state," he picked up his bags and headed out to his car.

At first, he drove toward the Pennsylvania border, but when he stared at the "Welcome to Pennsylvania" sign, he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He turned off the next exit ramp, back into Ohio, and then headed north. Once he hit the Michigan border, he drove on the ramp toward Windsor.

### Michigan
### 3

HE PULLED INTO a local gas station and filled his tank. "Are there any cheap motels around here?" he asked the attendant.

The attendant was glued to the television.

"Excuse me? What's so interesting?"

"Oh, sorry, sir. They're bringing Alexis Garris to the county jail now. I guess she got released from the hospital." The man looked at Jim. "I'm sorry. There's a motel about two miles north of here."

Jim stared at the television. "Poor woman," he said, as he watched Alexis Garris cover her face in front of the cameras. "Hasn't she suffered enough?" Jim walked back out to his car and headed for the motel.

He checked himself in the motel and unpacked his bags. He turned on the television, but every news station was commenting on the Alexis Garris arrest. He quickly shut it off. "Just give her some damn peace," he gazed out the window and stared at the daytime stars. He took a deep breath. "Where are you?" he whispered.

He finally decided to take a long walk. He headed down toward the main street. He found himself standing in front of a local tavern. He sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. "Vodka, straight up, please," he gulped it down and ordered another one.

"Rough day?" the bartender asked.

"Rough life," Jim muttered.

The bartender finished washing the glasses and turned on the television. Jim looked up when he heard the name Garris again. "Can you turn that off?"

"Why? Aren't you interested in that? It's the biggest thing going on right now."

"I know. I was Matthew Garris' friend. I just can't take listening to that anymore."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know," she said. "You really knew Captain Garris?" she asked in awe.

"Yeah, why?" he asked.

"My brother served under him in Wyoming. I think it's cool that you know him," she smiled.

"That was a while ago. I lost touch with him about six years ago. I just wish his life didn't end that way. I wish his life didn't end. His wife doesn't need to go through that. No one does."

"Oh, you lost someone, didn't you?" Her face saddened.

He looked around. "Kind of dead here today, isn't it?"

"It's still early. They haven't gotten off shift yet," she smiled.

"Who hasn't?"

"You're in a cop bar, whether you know it or not," she poured him another drink.

"Oh, I didn't realize it," he sipped his drink.

"If it's a problem for you..." She started.

"No. I've nothing against police officers. My brother's one actually," he smiled. "What's your name?"

"Katie," she flirted.

"I'm Jim," he smiled brilliantly at her. "So, how long have you worked here?"

"Six months," she said. "I finally decided that I needed to settle down. I come from a family of cops, but I don't want to be one. So, I opened the bar, my father and brothers work at the precinct down the street."

"Are you seeing anyone?" he asked. Why did I ask that? He thought.

"Not currently. Did you have something in mind?" She twirled her long, blonde hair on her finger.

"I don't know, um, dinner, sex, you know. Whatever comes to mind."

"At least you speak your mind," she replied. "What are you really looking for?"

"Don't know yet. Haven't found it. I just want some company. I don't know how long I'll be in Michigan, but I figured while I'm here, I might as well enjoy myself."

"Well, Jim. I get off at three and you can get off at four," she replied bluntly.

"Room 10 at the Shadow Motel around the corner. If you're still interested later, stop by," he gulped down his drink and walked out of the bar.

On his way back to the motel, he picked up the local paper. He sat down on the bed as he stared at Matthew's picture on the front page. He scanned the other faces of the other pictures, his eyes fixated on Alexis Garris. Her light brown hair covered her face slightly. _Oh, if I could only find someone like you. You must be very special for Matty to love you_ , he thought. _Hope you find peace. Not everyone would protect the one they love that way._

He threw the paper in the corner of the room and collapsed on the bed. Before he knew it, Katie was knocking on his door.

He opened it slowly. She smiled at him. "Jim, does your invitation still stand?"

"Answer me one question first," he smiled.

"Anything."

"What do you want? I mean, really want."

"Right now, just you. After that, I don't know or care," she pushed him lightly on the bed and closed the door with her foot.

She took his shirt off and ran her finger gently over his tattoo. "Hmm, you were in the Marines, weren't you?" she whispered.

"A long time ago," he said, as he enjoyed her kissing him on the chest.

He rolled her over and undressed her. He smelled her hair and he touched her face. Together, they had sex. When he rolled over, he stared at the ceiling, not it. He thought, no, she's definitely not the one I was looking for.

She sat up and looked at him. "Is something wrong?"

He put his arm around her. "No, honey. Everything's just fine. Do you need me to drive you home or anything?"

"Very considerate of you, but, no, thanks. It was nice knowing you, Jim," she walked out.

"I guess that's me, too damn considerate. Can't even be mean on a one-night stand," he shook his head and walked into the bathroom to shower.

When he got out of the shower, he wrapped the towel around him and dropped on the bed. "God, I just hope she's not like Margaret."

He closed his eyes and thought about the psycho who stalked him for six months.

"Jimmy, it's time for you to come to me," Margaret said with her black hair strewed in every direction.

"Margaret, get it through your head. It's over. I don't want you," Jim snapped.

"Jimmy, you don't mean that. You kept all my gifts, didn't you?" Her wild eyes smiled eerily at him.

"No, I didn't keep them. I don't want your damn underwear. I gave them to the police. Speaking of which, they'll be here soon."

"No, no, Jimmy. We need to be together. I'm the one you need. I'm what you really want."

"Margaret, we had some fun, but that was it. I don't know what I want, but I do know that it's not you."

The police burst in the door of his hotel room and grabbed Margaret.

"Please, get her out of here. I don't want her here," Jim said.

"Yes, sir. You'll need to testify, though," The officer said.

"I understand. I'll stay in Dayton until the trial. I've no other plans," Jim sighed heavily. "You can contact me here."

He opened his eyes. "God, I really hope she's not another Margaret," he looked around the room and noticed the phone book. "What I need is something to do. I need a job or something," he whispered, as he thumbed through the phonebook. "Hmm, computers, computers, computers," he shook his head. "What the hell do I know about computers?"

He thumbed through the book and then threw it across the room. It landed on the newspaper. He picked up the paper and looked through the classified section. "Hmm, computer training. I think I need that. Everything is computers these days."

He picked up the phone and dialed the number from the paper. "Um, yes, I was wondering if you provided private computer training."

"We don't usually," the woman said.

"My name is Jim O'Roark. I'm in town for a little while but would like private lessons. I need to perfect my skills. Well, I'd like to have some computer skills," he laughed slightly. "I'll pay extra for private lessons. I don't like classrooms."

"If you can come in about nine AM tomorrow morning, we may be able to work something out. Just ask for Larry Waters," she hung up the phone.

He smiled as he hung up. "I do need something to do. I can't just wander the earth forever," he sighed.

Jim spent the next few months training at the computer school. He wanted to learn all aspects of the computer, not just how to use one. He worked under Larry Waters. Larry was a large man, with a heart to match. He took Jim under his wing and showed him all aspects of computers and networking.

After Jim completed all of his training, Larry sat him down in the office. "James, you're doing so well. I can't believe how much you've picked up in the past six months. I've a proposition for you," Larry smiled.

"What is it? I'm up for almost anything," Jim beamed.

"There's a small company in Detroit. I'd like you to go there and set up their computer systems. It's only a six-month gig, but they need someone right away," Larry stood up. "So, what do you think?"

"Sounds good to me. Just tell me where and when," he said.

"Well, if you leave the day after tomorrow, you can get set up in the Hilton in Detroit. The company actually interacts with the local police station there. The company provides network support and back up just in case there's failure. I need you to set up the systems. You would be doing work at both the precinct and the company, which is across the street," he explained.

"Thanks, Larry. I really appreciate this," Jim shook his hand.

"Here's all the information, your advance for the job and the directions and reservations," Larry handed him an envelope. "I really appreciate this, James."

"No, really, thank you, Larry. It's good to be needed again," Jim walked out the door and headed back to his hotel room.

He reviewed the contents of the envelope that Larry gave him and then opened up his laptop. He used the Internet to map out his directions to the Hilton in Detroit and to find the Wallace Computer Systems, where he'd be working.

When he finished, he turned on the television and watched the evening news.

"As a recap of our breaking story," the anchorwoman said. "Alexis Garris was found not guilty yesterday in a Pottstown, Pennsylvania court room. Mrs. Garris had one quote as she was leaving the courtroom, accompanied by her lawyers and her sister-in-law."

The story focused on Alexis Garris as she faced the cameras. "I've something to say, so you all should shut up and listen. I don't want you to miss this quote. My husband was brutally murdered. My two best friends were butchered. I'll be in my own prison for the rest of my life. My money has always only been used to provide people jobs, home, or a safe place to go. Yes, I killed a woman, but she killed my husband. So, quote that and get it right the first time."

The anchorwoman smiled and continued. "There are many opinions as to Mrs. Garris' guilt, but a court of law deemed that she acted in self-defense. And now, on to local news..."

Jim turned off the television. "Good for you, Alexis. I hope that you can find your way through life without Matthew," he whispered. He lay back on the bed and closed his eyes.

Jim walked out to the mailbox and thumbed through the mail. He noticed Matthew's handwriting on one of the envelopes. "Matty?" he whispered. He sat down on the sofa and opened the letter.

Jim pulled out a wedding picture of Matthew and Alexis. "Wow, she's beautiful," he said. "Matty, you did pretty well for yourself, did you?"

He read the letter that Matthew wrote. "JC, I know it's been awhile since I've written. I met this great girl. Actually, she's a beautiful woman. I felt so connected to her the minute I looked into her eyes. Her name's Alexis Rossi. Yeah, she's a little rich, but I love her anyway. (Ha, ha) JC, I wish that you could've been here. I tried to get a hold of you, but I guess you were out of town or something. We got married a few weeks ago. Yeah, can you believe it? I finally settled down.

I'll never forget the best days of our lives. Marines, man, it was the greatest. You'll always be my best friend. I miss you, man. JC, please, stay in touch. I'd love you to meet Alexis. I hope that you're as happy as I am. It seems like it's been forever since we've seen each other. I know. It's really a lifetime.

I'm done traveling for a while. Someday, I hope to bring Alexis home to Arizona. I just can't wait to show her where we grew up. She has made all my dreams come true. I even own an engineering firm. Can you beat that? Funny, huh? JC, please stay in touch. Time's precious and I don't want to ever lose our friendship. I know life gets in the way of dreams, but, man, we can't lose our friends. Matthew."

Jim stared at the picture again and reread the letter over and over. "Matty, soon, I hope. I'd love to meet the woman who stole your heart," he whispered.

Jim rubbed his eyes and sat up in the bed. "You were right, Matty. Life does get in the way. Friends forever. I guess, forever needs to go _beyond_ death. Good-bye, my friend," he sobbed himself to sleep.

### 4

JIM PULLED INTO the Hilton of Detroit Hotel. He slowly carried his bags up the steps. He headed over to the desk clerk. He could feel the eyes of the woman behind him. He laughed slightly, when she whispered. "Hmmm, not bad for a civilian."

He walked away, and the desk clerk stopped him. "Um, Mr. O'Roark, you forgot your extra key."

He turned around and grabbed the keys. "Thanks," he turned around for a second and noticed the redhead standing at the counter. "Not bad." Then he headed toward the elevator and went up to his room.

He unpacked his bags and picked up the phone. "Can you give me the number for Wallace Computer Systems?" he wrote down the number and then dialed the computer store. "Yes, this is James O'Roark. Larry Waters told me to call you and let you know when I was in town."

"Yes, Mr. O'Roark," the woman said. "I'm Colleen Olsen. We'll need you to be here at eight tomorrow morning."

"Not a problem. Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"I've never been to Detroit before. Can you recommend a place to get a good stiff drink?"

"Well, if you don't mind cop bars, O'Malley's Bar and Pub is just next door to our office. All the cops from the local PD hang out there. The food is good, and the drinks are better," she said.

"Thanks. I'll check it out. See you tomorrow," he hung up the phone.

Jim went into the bathroom and took a shower. He changed his clothes and headed down to the lobby. He looked around the large lobby and noticed a strange man sitting across from the elevators. He walked over to the desk clerk. "Um, not to be nosy or anything, but why is that man just sitting there?"

"Oh, don't worry about him. That's Mr. Shapone. He's one of our customer's bodyguards, a Jane Gardner. He's harmless."

"Oh, someone needs a bodyguard? Hmmm, hope that everything's OK," Jim walked out to the street.

Slowly he walked and looked around at the sights and the different businesses. He could see O'Malley's Bar and Pub in the distance. He smiled slightly as he noticed the redhead leave the tavern. He shook his head. "No redheads for me. That's for sure," he laughed to himself. "But she's pretty. Looks familiar, too. But I know I've never dated a redhead before," he made his way to the bar and sat down.

"What can I get you?" The bartender asked.

"Vodka, straight up, please."

The bartender laughed. "That's funny," he said, as he poured the drink.

"What's so funny?" Jim asked.

"Sorry. That little redhead that just left here ordered the same thing."

"Oh, she was kind of cute," Jim commented.

"Yeah, I get to be with her," he smiled. "So, are you new in town?"

"Yeah, I'm in town for a little while. I'll be working at the Wallace Computer Systems next door," he gulped his drink. "Another."

"Oh, so you're the new computer guy," he said, as he poured Jim another drink. "I'm Detective Jones. I work at the precinct."

Jim shook his hand. "Nice to meet you, detective."

"Please, it's Evan," he smiled.

"I'm Jim, Jim O'Roark," Jim sipped his drink slowly. "So, Evan, what's there to do around here?"

"Well, in here, it's just cops. I see you don't mind working with cops. Do you mind drinking with them?"

"Nope, not at all," Jim smiled. "What about the women? Get any blondes in here?"

"Take some free advice. Never date a woman with a gun," Evan said. "Just will get you into trouble."

"So, what are you saying?"

"Don't date lady cops. If you're looking for just a good time, you might want to try the hotel bar at the Hilton. If you're looking for a relationship, I don't know what to tell you."

"What about you and the redhead? Is that a good time or a relationship?"

"Don't know yet. I don't mind having a good time, but I like it when the good time lasts more than a night, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do," Jim sighed heavily. "Well, thank you. I appreciate the advice and drinks," he laid his money on the bar and then headed out to the street.

The next morning, Jim got dressed and headed down to the lobby. He didn't want to be late for his first day at work. He was looking through his briefcase when Jane Gardner bumped into him. She looked at him for a minute. "Oh, I'm sorry."

He smiled softly and then kept walking. "No, problem, ma'am," he turned around and shook his head. "Nope, just another redhead."

He continued out to the street and walked to the Wallace Computer Systems.

He walked up to the receptionist. "Yes, I'm Jim O'Roark," he smiled at the blonde behind the desk.

She stood up. "Yes, we spoke on the phone. I'm Colleen," she shook his hand.

"Where do I get started?" he asked.

"Follow me," she flirted with him. She led him down the hallway and into the server room. "Tom will be in here shortly. Basically, these are the servers that will connect to the precinct computers across the street. Use the monitor over there on the virtual machines to access all servers. Here are your access codes. Your contact at the precinct is Lieutenant John Harper. Once you get set up here, you may need to go back and forth to the precinct to check things out."

"Not a problem," Jim smiled at her as she walked out of the room.

He spent several hours familiarizing himself with the systems and connecting the appropriate servers to the precinct. He wiped his brow and headed out to the reception area. "Um, Colleen, I'll be heading across the street for a while. If you need me, just page me. Here's the number," he handed her a small piece of paper.

He walked across the street and headed up the stairs to the police station. He walked up to the desk Sergeant. "Um, yes, I need to see Lieutenant John Harper, please?"

"And you are?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, James O'Roark. I work at Wallace across the street."

"You're James O'Roark?" His eyes lit up. "The Marine?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You may know a Thomas Lions. He was in basic training with you in the Marines. He followed your career, and well, you know, Captain Garris' career," he frowned slightly.

"Thomas Lions?" Jim thought for a moment. "Oh, yes, I do remember him. He was a great man. How's he doing?"

"Very well. He works for the Garris Engineering Foundation in Pennsylvania," he said. "It has been a hard time there with Matthew gone, but it was just bought out by the Welch Corporation. I hope they can keep it going. Thomas just loves working there."

"He got to work with Matty? That's great," Jim smiled. "I hope that things work out for him."

"The Lieutenant is right behind those doors and Mr. O'Roark, it's an honor to meet a hero," he stretched out his hand.

"Well, Thomas lucked out, as did Matty and I. When that grenade went off, I thought we all would die. Please, say hello to Thomas for me, will you?"

"I will, indeed, sir."

Jim took a deep breath and walked through the doors. The Lieutenant walked up to him. "Mr. O'Roark, I'm John Harper. It's nice to meet you."

"Please, call me Jim," he shook his hand. "I just need to take a look at your systems."

"Which ones?"

"Well, eventually all of them, but I need to look at the servers first. Once that's done, I'll need to review the detective's computers and then the officer's computers."

"Not a problem. There are only four that the officer's use. Each detective has their own. We also have two undercover detectives. They use the two in the server room."

"Good. I'll review those after the servers are completed."

"Um, Jim, how long will this whole thing take?" John asked him.

"I'd say about five months or so to be completed. Your systems won't be down very long. I'll work on individual machines shortly, but the servers need to be completely connected. Once you have appropriate back up, you'll be able to access other databases in the United States."

"That sounds great. Thanks," John led him to the server room.

Jim worked on the servers for several weeks. He now had to work on the individual computers. He sat down at the one of the undercover detective's computers in the server room. He logged on and validated the connectivity.

As he was testing out the software and network connection, he inadvertently opened up a confidential research file. He was just about to close it when he noticed the name. "Alexis Garris," he stared at the name for a few minutes and then closed the file. As he was rebooting the computer, Evan walked into the room.

"What are you doing?" Evan asked.

"Oh, hi. Is this your computer?" Jim asked.

"Yeah, what are you doing?"

"Right now, just rebooting. Looks like everything's in order," Jim stood up. "Once it comes back up, it should be connected to the new servers. All your information will be backed up from now on."

"Oh," Evan said. "So, does that mean all my personal files are backed up, too?"

"Everything. If you don't want a backup of a file, you need to store it on an external disk or drive," Jim said.

"Oh," Evan stared at the computer.

"Is something wrong, Evan?" Jim asked.

"Um, no. I guess not," Jim was about to walk out of the room and Evan stopped him. "Jim, wait."

"What's wrong, Evan?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"I know we don't know each other very well, but I wanted to ask you a hypothetical question."

"Go ahead," Jim sat next to him.

"Well, you know, I've been seeing that redhead."

"Jane, right?"

"Yeah, I know that she's not really Jane, but if she wants to be Jane that's OK with me."

"Is it really OK with you?" Jim asked.

"Yeah, it really is."

"So, what's your question?"

"Well, she has this weird feeling that she's being followed."

"Oh, do you think she's being followed?"

"Well, at first, I thought she was being paranoid, but I'm getting worried."

"Evan, what is it with you and the redhead?" Jim asked.

"She's great. She really is. I like her and she's, well, she's got a cop fantasy."

"Sounds like Alexis Garris, if you ask me. I've read the articles about her," Jim said.

"I know. I thought it was her, but I don't think it is. She doesn't look like her at all."

"No, she doesn't. I wish she was. I would've liked to meet Alexis Garris."

"Really, why?" Evan looked at Jim.

"Matthew, her husband, was a good friend of mine," Jim said sadly. "It can't be Mrs. Garris. I don't believe everything those papers write about her. So, what, she slept with a couple of cops. Big deal. Evan, my advice to you is to leave well enough alone. If Jane's hiding from something, there's nothing you can do about it, except let her know that if she needs your help, you'll do it."

"I just want her to protect herself. Especially if I can't do it for her."

"Do what you feel's right. Whatever way you think that she can protect herself, just do it," Jim said. "I'll see you later. I'm going back to the hotel to relax. It's been a really long day."

Jim walked back to the hotel and noticed Colleen sitting in the lobby. She stood up and walked over to him. "Jim, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Um, I, well, um," she took a deep breath. "I'm not good at this."

"Good at what?"

"Jim, you're very good looking."

He blushed lightly. "Thank you, but what else are you trying to say to me?"

"Will you, um, I guess, go out to dinner with me?" She twirled her long blonde hair on her finger.

"If you let me change first, I will," he smiled. "Come on upstairs. Let me get dressed."

Colleen followed Jim up to his hotel room. He went in the bathroom to get changed and she undressed and lay on his bed. He walked out of the bathroom and smiled at her. "Um, what are you doing?"

"Oh, come on, Jim. I know what you want from me," she flirted.

"Colleen, what do you want from me?"

"Can't you tell?" She flung her blonde hair over her shoulder.

"Colleen, I'm sorry, but, no. I can't do this right now."

She sat up quickly. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Um, no, definitely, no," he shook his head. "I just can't. There's just some strange feeling in this town, like I'm missing something, and I just can't."

She put her hands on his shoulders. "Maybe it's me you could be missing. Let's find out," she pulled his head into a tender kiss.

He slowly pulled away. "Sorry, not it," he whispered. "I think you should probably go. I can't do this."

Colleen got dressed and stared at him. "Are you married, or something?"

"Not anymore. I didn't mean to hurt you, but I just can't. For some reason, I can't do it here," he shook his head as he sat on the bed.

"Jim, don't worry about it. I'm sorry. I guess I just got a little aggressive. I don't want this to affect anything at work."

"Don't worry, it won't. I don't ever let my personal life interfere with my work," he smiled at her. "I'm sorry, Colleen. In another town, maybe. Just not here in Detroit. I can't explain it."

She kissed his cheek. "I guess there still are gentlemen in the world," she left out.

Jim leaned back on the bed in frustration. "How could I turn down that?" he whispered. _Where's my angel? Not here I guess._

A few months later, Jim walked into the precinct and sat down at the last officer's computer to finalize his work. Evan walked over to him. "Hey, last one to go, huh?"

"Yeah, so how's it going with you and the redhead?" Jim asked, as he typed on the keyboard.

"Some is the same and some is different," Evan replied.

"What do you mean? Did you ever help her with that stalker thing?"

"Not yet, but I think I know how I'm going to help her. I know that she won't be around much longer, but I've had fun with her."

"Well, at least you're having fun. I just can't seem to find that perfect person for me," Jim frowned.

"Don't worry, Jim. It'll happen when you least expect it."

"I guess. I just always seem to know when it's not her. I just hope that when it's her, I'll know that, too," Jim said, as he rebooted the computer. "Looks like this is done," he stood up.

Evan smiled at him. "Take care of yourself, O'Roark. Someday, you'll find what you're looking for," he extended his hand.

"Enjoy your redhead as long as you can. Take care of yourself, and be careful on the streets," Jim picked up his briefcase and walked out the door of the station.

He headed across the street to the Wallace Computer systems. "Colleen, I've finished across the street. I'll be leaving tomorrow."

She stood up. "Thanks, Jim. I hope that our paths cross again someday," she shook his hand. "I'll let Mr. Wallace know that the job's complete. Where are you headed?"

"Well, I have to go back to Windsor and talk with Mr. Waters, but after that I have no idea. Wherever the road takes me, I guess," Jim turned around and left the building.

### 5

JIM DROVE BACK to Windsor and spent a month working with Mr. Waters on different computer systems and set-ups for other companies.

"Larry, what's next?"

"Well, there's a small Company outside of Des Moines. It's called Meyer Finances. The owner's an Elvin Meyer. He's a shrewd businessman. He's currently looking for ways to upgrade his systems," Larry explained.

"What do you need me to do?" Jim asked.

"Well, I know that you did the Detroit thing and I was wondering if you would continue to work for me. Of course, I'd pay your expenses and give you an advance."

"Larry, I like doing this and I like the travel. I can't guarantee that I can work for you forever, but I can at least do this last one," Jim shook his hand.

"Thanks, Jim. I really appreciate it."

"Not a problem," Jim headed back to his motel room. As he lay on the bed, the phone rang. "Hello?"

"James, it's mom," her voice broke.

"Mom, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"Baby, it's your dad."

"Dad? What happened to Dad?" Jim asked in a panic.

"Baby, last night, he passed away in his sleep."

"Mom, what happened?"

"It was his heart. He didn't suffer, he died in his sleep."

Jim couldn't hold in his pain. "Oh, mom, what are we going to do?"

"James, you have to come home. At least for a little while, please."

"Mom, I'll be on the first flight to Arizona. I swear. I'll be there. Did you call Christopher yet?"

"He's on his way home, too."

"I'll, um, I'll be there as soon as possible," he hung up the phone.

He stared at the blank hotel wall and punched it. "Dad, no," he sobbed as he dropped to the floor. He closed his eyes and flung his arm over his face.

"James, come sit over here."

"Daddy, what is it?"

"I see that look on your face again. You're in trouble, aren't you?"

"How do you always know?" Jim's blue eyes lit up as he sat on his father's lap.

"Son, tell me. What's wrong?"

"It's just a dumb girl, daddy."

"Son, you may be 12, but there's no such thing as a dumb girl. What did she do to you?"

"She called me a name," his eyes saddened.

"What did she call you?"

"Jimmy dimmy."

Carl smiled and hugged him. "What did you do when she said that?"

"I pushed her in the mud. Then she cried and told the teacher."

"James, never push a girl. Girls may make you mad and make you crazy, but one day, a girl's going to make you very happy."

"Like mommy does you?" Jim smiled.

"Yes, Mom makes me very happy. James, as you grow up, you'll meet many girls. Some you'll hate and some you'll love. But one day, when you least expect it, you'll find the perfect girl for you. She'll be your angel. But until then, treat all girls nicely even if they're mean, cold or seem heartless. You never know one of them could be your angel. Always look for what's inside of them, not what's on the outside."

"Thanks, Daddy. You always make me feel better."

Jim wiped the tears from his face. "Dad, why did you have to leave us?"

The next morning, Jim picked up the phone. "Um, Larry, it's Jim. I'm sorry, but the trip to Des Moines will have to be postponed. My father passed away and I need to fly back to Arizona for a few days."

"Jim, take your time. Des Moines can wait. There's nothing special there anyway. It's just a job."

Jim booked the next flight to Arizona.

### Arizona
### 6

JIM WALKED OUT to the street and hailed a cab. "1340 Johnson Street, Florence," he said, as he sat in the backseat. He stared out the window as coming home meant for a sad occasion. He took a deep breath as he got out of the cab. He stared at the white house and slowly walked toward the door.

"James, baby, you made it," Carol ran out of the door. "Oh, baby, I'm so glad to see you," she took her son in her arms and sobbed heavily.

"Mom, it's OK. Everything will be OK," he wrapped his arm around her and led her into the house.

Everything in the house seemed so still, yet it was like stepping back in time. Jim looked around at the parade of photos that haunted the walls. He lightly touched his father's photo.

"James, are you OK?"

"No, mom. I wish I could've said good-bye," he wiped the oncoming tear from his eye.

"I know, I know, baby. Come on in the kitchen. I've made some French toast. That always made you feel better."

He followed her in to the kitchen and sat down at the table. "Mom, where are Chris and Rose?"

"Well, Christopher's at the funeral home finalizing the arrangements and Rose's closing up the diner for me. James, she's come home. She's going to stay in Florence and help me with the diner now."

"That's good, mom. I'm glad."

Carol sat down. "Baby, when are you coming home?" She touched his hands.

"Soon, Mom. I promise. I've been doing a lot of thinking. After I finish up this job, I think I'm coming home. I'm just tired. Tired of life, mom."

"Oh, James, please don't say that."

"It's true, mom. I think I'll buy a small house and move back to Florence. I want to come home, but I want to finish up my job first."

"Job? James, with all that money you got, you don't need a job."

"Mom, it's not about needing a job. It's about wanting to do something with my life. If I sit around an empty house, I'll miss out on life."

"Well, James, I've something that I need to tell you," Carol touched his face. "Your father left you a couple of things."

"What?" Jim took a bite of his food.

"Well, there's his warehouse in Afton and the old farmhouse on Mulberry Road in Sars Springs."

"What the heck am I going to do with those things?" Jim shook his head.

"I don't know, but you said you were looking to buy a house," she smiled.

"Right now, I don't want to live in Sars Springs. That's two hours from here. I want to be close to you," he took another bite. "I don't know what to do with those things right now. I guess I'll just let them sit until I figure something out," he stood up quickly. "Mom, how are you handling this so well?"

"James, I love your father so much. I'm breaking inside, but I have to live my life. That's what your father wanted for me. That's what he wanted for all of us."

Jim stormed into the living room. He stared around the room and lightly touched his father's chair. Slowly, he sat down in the chair and curled up. "Daddy, why did you leave?" he whispered, as he buried his face in his knees.

A few hours later, Carol came into the room. "James, baby, please, wake up."

Jim wearily looked up. "Mom, what time is it?"

"It's almost nine. Are you all right?"

"Mom, why does this have to happen? I never get to say good-bye."

"James, this isn't just about your father, is it?"

He shook his head. "Mom, I can't get the hurt to go away. People die on you before you get to say good-bye."

"James, tell me about it, please," she took his hands in hers and squeezed gently.

"Matty died. I thought we had the rest of our lives to catch up with each other. But now he's dead. I can't even find his wife to learn about Matty's life after we last saw each other," he sighed heavily. "Now, dad's gone. I miss dad. I need him now more than ever."

"Baby, look at me. I know that you have lost more than most people should. Janet, Matthew and now, your father, but it's not your fault. Life's just written out differently for different people."

He stood up quickly. "Mom, it's my fault that Janet's dead. I killed her!"

"What are you talking about? That is not your fault."

"Mom, I told her to, I really did. I didn't mean to, but I did. She just made me so mad."

"You told her to what?"

"Drop dead and she did. She didn't come back to make up with me, mom. She came back to get the rest of her things. I'm sorry that I lied to you. I think I was lying to myself. But it's my fault. If I didn't say it, she'd still be—"

"Dead. James, she would've still died. Janet didn't die because you told her to. She died because some drunk hit her. I'm sorry she's dead. Dead or alive, she still would be gone. You can't carry this with you."

"I don't know what to do, Mom. She wasn't even it," he dropped back into his father's chair.

"It? What do you mean it?"

"She wasn't my angel," he buried his face in his hands.

"Angel? James, tell me."

"You wouldn't understand," he shook his head.

"James, tell me, please."

"It's going to sound dumb, but there's someone out there for me."

"Of course, there is"

"No, you don't understand. This person is my angel. She's going to be my saving grace. I've been looking for her all of my life, but now, it's like she's so close, but I don't know where."

"You'll find her, baby."

"I hope so. I feel like I keep missing her. Like she's right there, but then she's not. I can't explain it. It's just this weird feeling. I've only had that feeling once before."

"When was that?"

"When I saw Matty's wedding picture. I don't know, but something about the picture was like I had found her."

"All that was in his picture was him and his bride, Alexis, I think her name is."

"That's the point. I felt like it was her, but then all that stuff with Janet happened and I didn't think about it. Now, I keep seeing her name all over the news and stuff. I can't get her out of my head."

"James, do you think that she's the one for you?"

"No, I'm not saying that. Maybe I'm destined to meet someone like her. She has to be special for Matty to fall in love with. He was so particular about dating women. He'd only fall in love with someone so special and deserving. I think it's just about being with someone who would risk anything to be with that person. Matty died so that he could save her. She has to be special. I need to find that one person who I'd risk my life for and then love them for the rest of my life."

"You'll find your angel, someday. Just be prepared."

"Prepared for what?"

"Sometimes, baby, when you stop looking is when you find it," she kissed his cheek. "Your room is ready for you when you want to go to sleep. We have a long day tomorrow. When do you have to go back to Michigan?"

"I'm going back after the funeral. I want to finish up the business I have and then I'll come home. I promise, Mom. I'll come home," Jim stood up and headed up the stairs.

Christopher walked into Jim's room the next morning. "JC, come on, get up."

"Chris, what time is it?" Jim wiped his eyes.

"Little brother, I just wanted to talk to you."

Jim sat up. "How was your trip to Chicago?"

"Uneventful. I hate those officer conventions. I don't mind the ones that are in Vegas, 'cause we all know Vegas is so cool."

"So, you like being a cop?"

"Yeah, I really do," Chris smiled. "Kind of hard being home, isn't it?"

"Oh, yeah. Definitely. I think I'm going to come back, though. It's almost time to come home."

"So, what have you been doing?"

Jim got out of bed and put on his pants. "I've been in Michigan for a while. I got a job working with computers. It's kind of cool. I have to go to Iowa to finish up some work."

"Oh, how long will you be there?"

"Not sure, why?"

"Well, I heard on the radio that the Cheyenne Marine base is having a tribute to Matthew in a few weeks."

"Oh, really?" Jim's eyes widened.

"Yeah. I think there's a letter around here for you. I thought that you'd like to go."

"I'd like to go. I know it's been so long since I've seen him, but he was a good man."

"Yes, he was," Chris stood up. "JC, we never got a chance to talk about it."

Jim pulled on his shirt. "I know. It's so strange. Everywhere I go, I see his wife's name all over the place. I know this stuff is nationwide, but you would think they'd just let it go. She was found not guilty, you know."

"I think it's that cop thing," Chris smiled sheepishly.

"Yeah. I heard that. Some cop fetish. I bet all the cops just love that one," he sat down on the bed.

"Everyone I know talks about it. Hey, maybe I even have a chance."

"Chris, do you really think a woman like Alexis Garris could ever have a thing for an O'Roark? She's probably way out of your league."

"Well, yeah, I heard that she's really nice, though."

"I'm sure that she is," Jim said. "Actually, I wouldn't mind meeting her. I'd like to hear how Matty's life was, well, before he died."

"I know, but, JC, we can't live in the past," Chris put his hand on his brother's shoulder. "You know that."

"Yeah. I just want to live life one day at a time. I want the past put to rest. I just wish I could rest, for once."

"JC, you will," Chris got up. "I'll see you downstairs. I'll find that letter for you."

Jim stared at the floor. "I hate it when he calls me JC," he muttered. "Matty, you did the same damn thing," he smiled. He got up and headed to the kitchen.

Chris came back in the room. "Here you go. I found the letter, Special Sergeant," he laughed, as he saluted his brother.

"Just give me that," he whipped the letter from Chris' hands. He stared at the embossed lettering on the envelope. "Special Sergeant O'Roark," he whispered.

He took the letter into the living room and sat down in his dad's chair. He read the letter that was in the envelope.

"Special Sergeant James O'Roark, it would be our honor if you would be able to attend the special ceremony and tribute in honor of Captain Matthew Garris. The ceremony will take place at the Cheyenne Civic Center. If you could prepare a speech for Captain Garris about your friendship and partnership while you two served together, I think that it would be a wonderful honor to a great man. The ceremony will take place on the Captain's 42nd birthday, July 5. Please RSVP at the number below. We'll make all hotel reservations. Thank you, General Jackson Meacham."

"So, are you going?" Chris came in the room.

"I think that I should. Hey, would you come to Cheyenne with me?"

"I could take some time off. I have a month's vacation due. I could take a week and spend it with you in Cheyenne."

"Cool. Tomorrow, I'm going to fly back to Michigan and take care of the last bit of details for my job. I should spend about a week in Des Moines and then I'll meet you in Cheyenne. We could meet at the Hilton there."

"Sounds good, JC," Chris said. "Let's get ready to go. Mom's already headed to the funeral home. She said something about fixing dad's tie."

Jim stood up and smiled. "Yeah, it's probably crooked or something."

### 7

HE DROVE FOR a little while and the stopped at a gas station off of the interstate. He pulled in and pumped the gas. When he went inside to pay, the clerk stared at him. "Hey, are you famous or something?" he asked.

"No, not famous," he said. "Where's the closest hotel from here?"

"If you continue on I-80, you can take the next exit ramp. There's a hotel about two miles on your right. You can't miss it. It's right across from the State Patrol barracks," he smiled.

"Thank you, sir. Oh, by the way, I'm looking for the Meyer Financial Corporation. Do you know where that is?"

"Just down the street from the hotel. It's in one of those tall buildings, you can't miss it."

"Thanks, I appreciate it."

"You know, we do get famous people in here," The clerk smiled.

"Really, who?"

"Um, that Garris woman. She's pretty hot."

"Yeah, I'm sure she is," Jim shook his head. "Like she'd be caught dead here, in the middle of Iowa," he whispered to himself. He went out to the car and headed to the hotel.

He pulled into the hotel parking lot and then checked in. He plopped down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. "Just a few more days, I guess," he whispered to himself.

The next morning, Jim drove down the road to the large building and pulled in the parking lot. He walked through the doors and looked at the name of the company, Meyer Financial Corporation. He headed took the elevator to the thirteenth floor.

He walked over to the receptionist and smiled brilliantly. "Yes, I'm James O'Roark and I'm here to see Mr. Meyers."

"Oh, yes, Mr. O'Roark, he's expecting you," she smiled.

The small man walked out of his office toward Jim. "Mr. O'Roark, how nice to meet you," he shook his hand.

"Please, call me Jim."

"Ok, please call me Elvin," he walked toward his office and Jim followed him. "So, Jim, you're here to set up our computer systems?"

"Yes, sir. Larry Waters sent me," Jim smiled. "Do you need servers set up also?"

Elvin sat behind his desk and leaned back. "Please take a seat," Jim sat down and leaned forward. "Well, I'd think so. I met with a friend of mine and she's going to help me get my company back on track. I really am not sure what to do about the computers. She gave me a check to get me started, but I'm just not sure what to do."

Jim smiled. "I'm not much of a business person, but the first thing that you should do is get all your financial and budget plans on your computer. There are special software programs that do this. It'll help you see what areas need the money the most."

"Can you show me?" Elvin pointed to his computer.

"Sure," Jim walked around to Elvin's side of the desk and started tapping on the keyboard. "Where are your financial files located?"

"Not sure. Had a guy that used to do that stuff, but he quit not too long ago."

"Let me do a search," Jim said, as he continued to work on the computer. After a few minutes, he smiled. "Here you go. If we take all this information and load the new software, you'll be able to run financial reports."

Elvin handed Jim a folder. "Can these be added, too? Alexis left the check and I got all the information from her lawyer but haven't been able to add it to the computer without typing it all in."

"Alexis?" Jim asked, as his eyes lit up.

"Oh, I'm sorry, please forget I said that. It's supposed to be anonymous."

"I don't mean to pry, but you're talking about Mrs. Garris, aren't you?"

Elvin nodded slowly. "Yeah, she's an old friend of mine. She loaned me some money for capital to help add stock options, but even with Mr. Abrams help, I'm still at a loss."

"Well, we can scan all those files in the computer and then I install the new software. We'll be able to import all the information and you should be set. I can also set up a network server and a backup server for you."

"That would be great."

Jim stood up. "I'll come back this afternoon with everything that you need," he shook his hand.

"Jim, thank you so much," Elvin smiled as Jim headed back to his car.

Jim came back a few hours later and installed all the software. When he finished, he setup the new servers for Elvin. He walked into Elvin's office. "I'm all set here."

Elvin looked up and smiled. "I don't know how you did everything so quickly. I just want to thank you for all your help."

"Not a problem," he sat down. "Can I ask you something?"

"I'll do my best to answer, go ahead."

"This is going to sound strange, but I was wondering how Mrs. Garris was doing."

"You know Alexis?"

"No, I knew her husband, Matthew. A long time ago. I just know all the problems that she was having. I just wanted to see how she was doing."

"She's holding it together. I think that she'll be OK. She's a very strong woman. Her world has fallen apart but the one thing she hasn't lost is her business sense. I think that's the only thing that she can control," he smiled. "She's a great woman. She can just be misdirected at times, but never in business. She's a very shrewd but smart woman."

"I'm glad. I always wanted to meet her, but I guess that will never happen. Well, thank you, Mr. Meyer. I'm glad that I could help you," Jim stood up.

Elvin walked him to the elevators. "Good luck with future endeavors."

Jim headed back to the hotel. He got out of the car and stared at it. "Time for a new vehicle," he whispered. He walked through the hotel gardens and noticed a police officer sitting on the bench. "Um, excuse me, are you all right?"

The man looked up sadly. "Yes, I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"I'm sorry. I'm not used to seeing officers sitting _across_ from the police department."

"I'm sorry. A friend of mine left recently and I miss her, a lot," he smiled and extended his hand. "I'm Jack Townley."

"Hi, Jim O'Roark. May I sit?"

"Sure. So, are you just passing through town?"

"Well, I had some business, but now that's done with. I'm heading to Wyoming for a Marine ceremony. They're honoring a good friend of mine," he sighed. "But first, I have to get a new car."

"Really? What do you drive now?"

"A '99 Jaguar. I like it, but I've been doing so much driving lately, I need a new one."

Jack smiled. "Well, if you're heading to Wyoming, you'll probably be going through Nebraska. Once you hit the border, there will be a rest area, and the exit passed the rest stop has several dealerships, include those for Jags. Might find something you like."

"Thanks, Jack. Are you sure you'll be all right?"

"Yeah, I'm just a worn-out cop, that's all. I met a beautiful woman and we spent some really nice nights together. I'm just going to miss her, that's all."

"Nice nights, huh?"

"It wasn't like that. I just held her. Nothing else happened. Maybe that's why I miss her so much. It felt good to hold someone again."

"Someday, Jack, you'll find someone like that again. I know I'm hoping to. Bye, Jack, and thanks," Jim stood up and headed into the hotel.

Jim sat down on the bed and stared out the window. He picked up the phone and called Christopher. "Hey, it's Jim."

"JC, what's going on?"

"Well, I finished up here quicker than I thought. I'm going to head out to Wyoming in the morning, but first I'm getting a new car."

"Another Jag?"

"Well, yeah, I really can't wait to go home so that I can get my bike out of storage. I miss my baby, you know."

"I know you do," Chris said.

"Well, can you check our reservations?"

"Yeah, I already did."

"Um, Chris, cancel mine, will you?"

"Why?"

"I realized that I can go to the ceremony, but I don't want to stay the week. I can't be with a group of people and talk about Matthew. I don't think I could do it."

"Do you think she'll be there?"

"If she knows about it. I've heard that she's traveling a lot. She may not even know about it. I met a friend of hers today. He told me how she was doing. I really hope that she's OK. I'd love to meet her, but it's possible she won't be there. Besides, it's Matty's birthday, she probably has other things she needs to do."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going home. It's time for me to go home. I need a place to settle down. I still have a few small jobs to do. However, I'm going home first. Right after the ceremony."

"Well, that will make mom happy."

"I know. I don't know if it'll make me happy, but I'm sure that I can't just keep moving. I need to be grounded somewhere."

"What about the farmhouse? Are you moving into that?"

"No. I know I can't move into that. It's too big for one person. Until I find who I'm looking for, the house will stay empty. I'll keep it until the time's right to get rid of it," Jim took a deep breath. "Chris, I'll meet you at the hotel on the morning of the fifth. We'll go to the ceremony and then I'm going home."

"JC, what about your speech?"

"Oh, almost forgot about that. I guess I'll work on it tonight. I just wish I knew what to write about," Jim sighed.

"Just write from your heart, little brother. That's all you can do," Chris said.

"See you soon," Jim hung up the phone. He sat down at the desk and stared at the blank piece of paper. He closed his eyes and remembered the last time he saw Matthew.

"Matty, I'm going home now," Jim said.

"I know, JC. I know that's what you need to do," Matthew sat down on the cot.

"Matty, we need to stay in touch. Man, we grew up together. God, we used to get in so much trouble," he laughed.

"I remember everything, JC," Matthew's eyes lit up. "I know that I'll never forget your mom's French toast. Gees, just thinking about it makes me hungry,"

"Are you sure that the Marines is the life you want to live? Why don't you just come home with me?"

"I just don't have anything left at home. I need something for myself. I think this promotion came just in time."

Jim sat next to him. "Hey, it's not like you're dying or anything. We'll see each other. If you ever find a place to call home, let me know and I'll be there in a second. And, you know, I know it's not home anymore, but you can come back to Florence."

"You're right. We've our whole lives ahead of us. I guess I'm just a little nervous on what's beyond all of this."

"Well, for one thing, you'll be giving the orders. I mean, you always ordered us around before, but now it's official," Jim laughed.

"JC, never lose that."

"What?"

"Your smart-ass mouth," he punched him in the arm.

"Never," Jim smirked. "So, are you ever going to find a woman?"

"Me? What about you?"

"Oh, you know me, I like to explore my options," he laughed.

"Someday, we'll both find our angels. Let's just hope and pray they aren't the same person. Otherwise you'd have a big fight on your hands."

"Oh, please, I could take you, but I'd never let a woman come between us, even if she's our angel."

They stood up and looked at each other. "Not to be girlie or anything, but—" Matthew said, as he hugged Jim tightly. "Buds forever, right?"

"Yeah, definitely. No one will ever change that. Trey tried and failed. Buds forever. Here, Matt, take mine," Jim handed him his cuff links with his initials on it.

"JC, I couldn't."

"Please, Matty, you have yours and now, mine. Keep them safe. As long as they're together, we'll always be together. Besides, I'm always losing things," Jim squeezed Matthew tightly. "See you soon, Matty," he picked up his bags and left the barracks.

Jim opened his eyes and stared at the paper. "That's right, Matty, buds forever," he began writing his speech. The words just seemed to come to him so naturally. Before he knew it, it was five in the morning. He read his speech and then picked up the phone. "Yes, this is Mr. O'Roark. I was wondering if you had a few index cards that I could have. I've got a speech to make and I could use a couple."

"Yes, sir. I can send a few up to you," the woman said.

"Thanks."

After the cards were delivered, he rewrote the speech and numbered each card. He put the cards in his suitcase and finished packing. He headed to the lobby to check out. He threw the suitcases in the car and headed toward the interstate.

### Nebraska
### 8

JIM DROVE UNTIL he reached the Nebraska border. He pulled into the rest area to freshen up a little before he went to the dealership. He followed Jack's directions and pulled into the Jaguar dealership. He looked around to admire all the cars.

"Can I help you?" A man walked over to him.

"That one. I want that one," Jim said bluntly.

"Good choice. You want the black or silver?" he asked.

"Black would be perfect," Jim smiled. "I'll take it. I have a trade-in, too," he pointed to his car.

"Sir, let's see if we can get you financed."

"No, I'll pay cash. What kind of deal can you give me?"

"Sir, that's a seventy-thousand-dollar car. You don't—"

"Don't tell me that I don't look like I can afford it. Believe me, I _can_ afford it. If you have a problem with a cash transaction, then I'll find someone else who doesn't," Jim started walking away.

"Sir, I can help you. Please follow me."

Jim grinned as he followed the man to his office. Jim sat down and wrote out a check. "You can call the bank right now and confirm that it's good. I'll wait," he sat back in the chair until the salesman got off the phone.

"Just sign here, sir. Are you registering it in Nebraska?"

"No. Just give me temporary stickers and plates. I'll register it when I get home to Arizona. Is that a problem?"

"No, sir. Here are your keys. Enjoy your new car."

Jim grabbed the keys and headed to his old car. He transferred his luggage and personal items to his new car and headed toward Wyoming. He sped down the highway. He couldn't help but go over the speed limit. He needed to feel the power and make himself forget about things for a little while. As he was approaching the exit ramp to I-15 to Wyoming, he noticed the lights and sirens from behind him.

He pulled over. "Oh, crap. Damn cops," he muttered, as the officer approached his window.

"Yes, officer?" Jim looked up.

"Sir, do you know how fast you were going?"

"Um, no, sir."

"Eighty. Eighty miles an hour."

"Oh, really," he watched as a silver BMW went speeding past him. "I guess that would be as fast as she's going," he laughed.

The officer handed him the ticket and hurried back to his car. Jim waited until the officer was out of sight and then pulled back on to the highway.

As he was driving down the road, he noticed that the officer had pulled over that woman. "He's a little too close to her. What the hell is he doing?" he slowed down so that he could see what this officer was doing with this woman. He noticed the redhead place her hand on the officer's gun and he backed off.

He stopped the car in the lane and rolled down his window.

"Is everything OK here?" he asked.

"Yes, thank you," the redhead smiled.

"Just checking," he looked at her. "Have a good day, ma'am."

He pulled away and noticed the woman got in her car and the officer returned to his. He kept staring in his rearview mirror. "Where have I seen her before?" he sped up a little. "I know. Detroit. Evan's girl," he leaned back and smiled. "I guess she did just move on."

### Wyoming

### 9

JIM CONTINUED ON to Cheyenne. He pulled in front of the Hilton Garden Hotel. He got out of the car and headed to the lobby. He sat down until he saw Christopher walk toward him.

"Hey, JC," Chris hugged him tightly.

"Good to see you," Jim smiled as he hugged his brother.

"Are you sure that you won't stay?"

"Yeah, I'm going home," Jim sighed heavily. "So, do you know where this place is?"

"Yeah, it's at the civic center," Chris smiled. "Do you have your uniform?"

"No, I didn't think about it, but, no, I don't."

"I knew it. That's why I had mom send it to me. Come on back to my room and you can get changed," Chris put his hand on Jim's shoulder.

Jim followed him to the room and changed into his dress uniform. Chris carefully pinned Jim's medals to his chest. "There you go, little brother," he smiled.

"I hate these uniforms. They're so stiff."

"It's only for a few hours. You look really nice. That hero medal's so cool."

"Yeah. Matty and I both got one together after the incident with Trey. Some heroes, huh?"

"You two were great together. He'd be so proud of you."

"Right. My life's so messed up right now."

"JC, just take it one day at a time. That's all you can do."

"I know. Let's go. I just want to get the speech over with."

They headed out the door. "Why don't you just follow me in your car and then you can leave right after the ceremony?"

Jim pulled in the parking spot next to Christopher. They walked inside the civic center where there was a large tarp covering some type of statue.

They joined the crowd and waited for the General to arrive. A small, dark-haired man walked out of the auditorium and approached the crowd.

"Before we go inside, I'd like you all to be witness of the unveiling of our statue that we erected in honor of Captain Matthew Garris. He'll always be in our hearts. He was an extremely talented engineer and we'll always be grateful that we had the honor of serving with him in the Marines. He was the finest captain I ever had serve under me," Slowly, he removed the tarp and exposed the ten-foot tall statue of Captain Garris.

Jim stared up at the spitting image of his fallen friend. "Wow," he whispered. "Matty, you'd be amazed by all of this. You'd hate it, but you'd be amazed," he listened intently at the General's speech.

"We honor Captain Garris. This statue will stand as long as Marines protect our country," he gently touched the plaque that lay at Matthew's feet. "This will memorialize any fallen Marine. We also memorialized the words that Captain Garris would say to his men every morning at roll call, 'To honor, to serve, to protect, to love, to save... even in death, life's path continues...' Indeed, it's true. Now, if you follow me and take your seats in the auditorium."

Jim and Christopher followed the crowd. "Are you all right?" Chris asked.

"Yeah. I'll be OK. I'll see you in a bit. I think I have to be up on stage," he put his hands in his pocket and pulled out the four index cards. He took his seat on the stage and waited for his turn to speak.

The General approached the podium. "Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. I'm General Ross Lewis. It's an honor for me to be standing here to celebrate the life of Captain Matthew Garris. Please stand for a moment of silence in honor of Captain Garris."

Silence spread throughout the auditorium as guests wiped their oncoming tears.

"Now, I'd like to have Special Sergeant O'Roark approach the podium. Sergeant O'Roark served with Captain Garris in basic training. Together, they received the hero medal for saving four Marines during a routine weapons launch."

_Routine, my ass_ , Jim thought as he stood up. He saluted the General before approaching the podium. His eyes scanned the crowd for Christopher's. "Um, I'm Special Sergeant O'Roark," he glanced down at the first index card. "It's an honor to be here to be a part of this special ceremony. Captain Garris was an honorable man. We grew up together and I'm so thankful that I got to know him, not only as a Marine, but also as my friend. Matty, as I called him, always saw the good in people. He never allowed you to look down on yourself," he took a deep breath as he flipped to the second card. "He was the first one to lend a hand when you needed it. My only regret is that I didn't get to see Matty after I had left the Marines. He had his dreams, though. He wanted to continue to serve his country. He wanted to help train future marines, future heroes of America. Matthew was indeed a hero. He was an exceptional, loving man."

He smiled at the crowd as he flipped the third card. "All and all, he was my best friend. It was an honor to serve with such a great man. The best part about it was that he never admitted how great he was. He saved my butt so many times, I could never count. I wish I had the opportunity to say good-bye to him, but being here, now, allows me to do it, even if it's two years too late," he took a sip of water and then flipped to the final card. "Anyone who has ever been in contact with Matty can attest to his gracious and loving manner. When it came down to it, Matthew made the ultimate sacrifice. He sacrificed his life to save his wife's. Matthew's indeed a hero. He'll always be one in my eyes, Good-bye, bud, keep watch over those who love you. Thank you for your time," he looked up to the sky and smiled. He slowly walked off the stage and out the doors of the auditorium.

Chris ran and caught up with him. "JC, are you going to be OK?"

Jim turned around and faced him. "Yeah. I got to say good-bye. I'm going to be fine now. It's really time to go home."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, you stay here the week. I'll call you in a couple of days. Now, I'm heading home," he hugged his brother. "Talk to you soon, big brother."

Jim headed out to his car and Christopher went back inside.

Jim stared through the windshield at the Civic Center and then started his car. "Good-bye, my friend," he whispered.

### Arizona

### 10

AFTER DRIVING OVER 14 hours from Wyoming, Jim pulled in front of his mother's house. He wearily dragged himself up on the porch and dropped on the steps.

Carol came running out of the house. "James, are you all right?"

"Just tired, mom. Drove straight here from the ceremony," he whispered.

"Didn't you take a break?" she asked.

"Just to eat, change clothes, and well, you know," he said, as she helped him stand.

"What you need is to rest, baby. I have your room all set up for you."

"Mom, that's OK. I need to get a house and figure out what I'm going to do now that I'm home," his blue eyes shined as he looked at her.

"James, listen to your mother and don't give me those eyes," she smiled sternly. "You're going to rest first. Then you can think about all those other things. Now go up to your room and don't come down until you've slept for more than two hours."

"Yes, mom," he slowly walked up the steps and headed toward his room. He dropped on the bed and fell asleep instantly.

Jim slept as his mind kept trying to focus on his angel, but she still had no face. He kept trying to reach her, but she seemed further away now more than ever. _Angel, where are you?_ He kept trying to follow her, but she disappeared. He could barely hear her voice. "Help me, please. Save me. I'm lost without you," she cried, as it faded away.

"I'll find you, I swear. I'm still here looking for you. When you need me the most, I'll be there," he whispered, as he reached out his hand.

Jim woke up abruptly. "Angel, where are you? Who are you?" he shook his head and headed downstairs.

Carol was dishing out French toast at the table. "I knew you'd be hungry."

"What time is it?" he asked groggily.

"Four PM, Wednesday," she smiled.

"I've been asleep for over a day and a half. Why didn't you wake me?"

"You needed sleep. That's all. James, you look so much better now. How'd the ceremony go?"

"It was good. I finally got to say good-bye to Matty. It was good."

"Christopher called this morning. He wanted to tell you something. He met someone you'd be interested in hearing about."

"Oh, I'll call him when I finish here," Jim took a bite of his food. "Always great, mom."

"Well, Rose's covering for me at the diner, but I have to get back there. Are you going to be OK by yourself?"

"Yes, Mom. I'll be fine. I'll spend another night here, but tomorrow, I'm getting a new house."

"Well, there's several in Sars Springs or Middleburg. I'm sure you'll find one. Or you could always use the farmhouse."

"Not ready for the farmhouse yet. Mom, it's too big without someone to share it with," he smiled. "Not yet, mom. I'll find a small one here in Florence."

"Whatever you want, baby. Oh, yeah, a Mr. Waters called for you. He just wanted to make sure you made it home. I told him you'd call him when you got settled in."

"Oh, good. Maybe he's got another job for me," Jim said.

"You aren't going to travel anymore, are you?"

"Mom, no. I knew he may have one more job for me, but I'm going to settle here first. I swear I'm coming home for good."

She kissed his cheek. "I'll see you later," she left out the door.

Jim finished his food and then picked up the phone and dialed Christopher's hotel room. "Hey, Chris, it's Jim."

"JC, you'll never guess who I met."

"Who?"

"Matthew's wife," Chris said with excitement.

"Alexis? You really met her? Oh, come on, you've got to be kidding."

"No. She's staying at the hotel here in Cheyenne. It's too bad that you didn't stay. You _could've_ met her, too."

"So, what's she like? What did she say?"

"OK, just hold on. First of all, she's beautiful."

"I knew that. What's she like?"

"She's very nice. I interrupted her breakfast, but I just needed to say hello to her. She was nice enough to let me speak to her for a moment. I told her who I was and that you were also in town for the ceremony."

"What did she say about that?" Jim's voice sped up with excitement.

"She said to say hello to you and that she hopes to meet you someday," Chris said.

"She _didn't_?"

"Yeah, little brother, she did. She'd love to meet the best friend of her husband someday."

"I hope the same thing. But I know that will probably never happen."

"JC, you never know what'll happen. Don't count yourself out. Remember, your angel's still out there," Chris said. "Well, I'll let you go. Talk to you soon."

"Yeah, I'll talk to you soon. Tomorrow, I'm looking for a new place."

"I'll call you when I get back home to Boise."

"Bye," Jim hung up the phone. "Wow, she actually wants to meet me," he sighed heavily. "Probably not a good idea, Matty needs his rest. We don't need to dredge up the past anymore."

Jim went into the family room and sat in his father's chair. "Oh, dad, I can't deal with the past anymore. I just have to look forward. I have to live one day at a time. I can't try to figure out what went wrong. I have to try and make things better. It's time for me to start writing my life again," he leaned back in the chair and turned on the television.

### 11

JIM WOKE UP the next morning and sat on the edge of the bed. He looked around his boyhood bedroom and sighed heavily. He slowly went into the bathroom and took a shower.

He made his way down the stairs to the kitchen where Carol and Rose were sitting. "Morning," Jim said wearily.

"Morning, big brother," Rose smiled.

"What are your plans for today?" Carol asked.

"Real Estate. I need a new place to live."

"Well, you're welcome to stay here, baby," she replied.

"That's OK, Mom," Jim said, as he sat down. "I need a place of my own. I need to figure out what I want to do."

"Well, let us know when you figure it out, baby. We have to get to the diner soon," Carol cleared her plate from the table.

Jim picked up the phone after they left and called Larry Waters. "Larry, it's Jim. So, what's going on?"

"Well, I've got another job for you. It's in Boise."

"Boise? Sounds OK, when?"

"In about a week or so, can you do it?"

"Yeah, I should be settled in my new house by then," Jim said.

"New house?"

"Yeah, I'm home to stay. I'll still do the job, though. What about the next job? Is there one?"

"There's another one in Las Vegas but that's down the road a little way. I don't know if that will pan out or not. But I also heard that there's a new company in Sars Springs, isn't that close to you?"

"Yeah. It's about two hours away. Why?"

"Well, I haven't heard about their tech department. I know that probably within the next year or so, they'll be hiring. You might want to keep your ears open for that. I know you want something permanent and close to home."

"I will, Larry, thanks. I'll let you know when I get settled in and then you can send me the details."

"Sounds good. Take care of yourself, Jim," he hung up. Jim leaned back, _a place close to home? Sounds great. I guess I can wait a year or so. First, I have to find a home._

Jim walked outside and looked up and down the street. He took a deep breath and headed toward his mother's garage. He opened the door and beamed brightly. "My baby," he said, as he touched the silver and black motorcycle. "Let's say we go for a spin," he hopped on and pulled out onto the street.

He rode around Florence for a little while until he spotted a _For Sale_ sign in front of a small house off of Main Street. He pulled in front and walked up to the door.

An elderly woman opened the door. "Can I help you?"

"Just saw the sign. How much do you want for the house?"

"It's kind of small. Are you sure you want to buy it?"

"Yes, ma'am. At the moment, it's just me," he said.

"Oh, you're Carol's boy, aren't you?" She pushed her thick glasses up on her nose.

"Yes, I am. I'm James."

"Oh, James, I used to baby sit you when you just a small boy, you and that friend of yours."

Jim smiled. "Mrs. O'Reilly?"

"Yes, son. Come on in and take a look around."

"Why are you selling this place?" he asked, as he followed her into the entryway.

"I'm going to live with my son in Detroit."

"How much do you want for the house?"

"I was asking 50, because it's so small. I know that may seem like a lot to you, but I just want to hurry up and move to Detroit."

"Mrs. O'Reilly, I can write you a check for fifty-five thousand dollars and you can move whenever you're ready to. I see that you've already started packing."

"Really? I can leave soon?" Her old eyes lit up.

He pulled out his checkbook and wrote her out a check. "Here, just have your realtor give me the papers, and I can sign them."

"I actually have them in the kitchen, here follow me," she handed him the papers and they both signed them. "I hate lawyers and realtors. I just assume do it myself. I can be moved out by Friday. Most of my stuff has already been shipped to Detroit," she sat down at the table.

Jim looked around. "Looks like a nice kitchen."

"Do you cook, James?"

"Yes, ma'am. Not as good as mom's, but I do like to cook when I can," he sat down.

"I'm sorry about your father. How's your mother doing?"

"About as well as can be expected, but he'll always be in her heart."

She sighed. "I wish that my Earl was still around. I know how hard it's to lose someone you love. That hospital he was in could really use some help. They're so understaffed and the equipment needs updating."

"Which hospital is that?"

"Oh, Middleburg General. I know it's quite a ways away but the small clinic at the edge of Florence doesn't do long-term care."

"Is that hospital owned by a corporation?"

She nodded. "The Welch Corporation. I guess Mr. Welch owns a lot around here, even opened a new computer business in Sars Springs."

"You certainly know a lot about what goes on around here," Jim remarked.

"As an old woman, with almost nothing to do, I need something to keep me busy. I read a lot of those business journals, especially when it's about local stuff."

"So, the hospital really needs money?"

"That's what I heard."

Jim stood up. "Well, Mrs. O'Reilly, just let me know when you'll be leaving."

"Friday. I'll be out of here on Friday. So, you can move in on Saturday if you want."

"Sounds wonderful," he kissed her cheek lightly and walked out to his bike.

He hopped on his bike and decided to go for a ride. He rode to Middleburg and pulled in front of the Middleburg diner. He sat down at a booth and ordered some coffee. He stared at the people that walked by on the street. He took a deep breath. He just wasn't sure what to do now.

He looked up as two officers walked passed him in the diner. They took the booth behind him, and he could hear their conversation.

"Leon, I just don't know what to do anymore," the older officer said.

"Randy, it's all right. You'll find something that will help."

"I just don't know what to do. A cop's salary isn't the same anymore."

"Believe me, I know, but, of course, I don't have a mortgage payment. Doesn't Joanna's paycheck help?"

"Not really. It pays for her apartment in Phoenix."

"Why doesn't she just come home?" Leon whispered.

"You know how she is. I don't know why we're even still married, but right now, it works."

"Well, hopefully this trip to Vegas will turn into something."

"I hate these conventions," Randy said.

"Yeah, but it's Vegas. You love Vegas. Remember? How many times did you apply for the Troopers job?"

"I know, but I turned it down. I like my job here."

"What you need is a woman?"

"I've enough problems with Joanna. I can't deal with another woman."

"Oh, please. You haven't had it in so long, you need a woman."

"Yeah, like I'd ever find a woman who'd be interested in an old man like me," Randy shook his head.

Jim laughed to himself as he stood up. He smiled at the officers as he walked passed them. He stared at the squad car as he got on his motorcycle. I _wonder what it's like to be a cop. Hmm, cool uniform, badges, guns, and nightsticks. It's got to be so cool._ He shook his head and drove out to Sars Springs. He pulled in front of the new building, Solutions Computer Systems. He stared at the large sign that sat on the lawn of the building.

He stood there for a few moments and then got back on his bike and headed home. He dropped down on the front steps and stared at the daylight stars.

On Saturday, Jim packed up his things and started to move into his new home. He used his old bedroom furniture from his mother's so that he could at least have a place to sleep. He figured when he got back from Boise, he'd just get new furniture.

At the end of the day, he settled down in his kitchen and made himself something to eat. He picked up the phone and called Larry. "Hey, Larry, it's Jim. I'm in my new place. I can leave tomorrow for Boise, if it's still good."

"Yeah, still good. Your reservation is for the Hilton in Boise."

"Thanks. Just email me everything. I'll set up my laptop later," Jim hung up. "Just one more trip."

He spent the rest of the day in front of the television. As he was flipping through channels, one movie caught his eye. "Cool, I haven't seen _Stalag 17_ in a while," he watched it until he fell asleep.

The next morning, he set up his laptop and downloaded the hotel information that Larry sent. He packed up his bags and put them in his car. He headed toward Boise.

### Idaho

### 12

JIM PULLED INTO the Hilton Gardens hotel in Boise and walked up to the front desk. "Reservation for O'Roark, please."

The clerk tapped on the keyboard. "Sorry, no reservation."

"What!" Jim raised his voice. "Just give me my room key. I've been driving for hours."

"I don't think you understand, sir," The desk clerk said. "There are no reservations under your name."

"Don't give me that. I made a reservation specifically at this hotel for this day!" he snapped back.

"No, there are no reservations under your name. It must be another hotel."

The man slammed his fist on the counter. "Just forget it. Can I get a room or not?"

"No, sir, we're booked up," The man started to storm out of the hotel. "Mr. O'Roark, you left your keys."

He came back, grabbed his keys, and ran out _._ "Damn it," he drove down the road until he noticed the Hilton Resort Hotel. "Don't tell me I went to the wrong Hilton."

He grabbed his bags and headed inside the hotel. "Will you see if you have a reservation for O'Roark?"

The woman smiled and tapped on the keyboard. "Yes, sir. You're in room 405."

"Thank god. I thought I was going crazy. I swore I made a reservation at the Hilton."

"Oh, went to the Hilton Gardens down the road?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Oh, yes, the reservation department always gets that messed up," she twirled her long blonde hair.

"Can you recommend any good restaurants around here?" Jim asked, as he took the card key.

"There's a small Italian restaurant on the edge of town," she smiled. "If you don't mind company tonight, I could show it to you," she flirted.

"Your name is Tanya?" he asked.

"Yes," she touched his hand. "How long will you be in town?"

"Only a few days, but I wouldn't mind the company. Not at all. Come up to my room when you get off shift, we can go to dinner and decide what comes after that," he picked up his bags and headed toward his room.

He collapsed on the bed and stared at the ceiling. He held his hand close to his heart, _yes, I know. She's not it, but I'm going to have some fun. I think that cop in Middleburg had the right idea. I do need a woman. At least for a little while._

A few hours later, Tanya knocked on his door. His eyes lit up with lust as he gazed at her in small blue dress. "Are you ready?" she whispered.

"Yeah," he grabbed his jacket and they headed toward the restaurant. Jim opened the door and led Tanya into the restaurant. They sat down at a table and ordered their food.

"So, how long are you really in town?" She leaned forward for his answer.

"Just have some work to do. I'll be heading home soon," Jim smiled at her as he touched her hand.

"Where's home?"

"Florence, Arizona. I just bought a home there. I actually grew up there. It's time I went home."

"Oh, where were you before?"

"Just traveling."

"I've never been anywhere but here. How's life around the country?"

"Oh, it's not as exciting as it sounds. I'm just looking for something that I don't ever seem to find."

"What are you looking for?"

"Someone special. Haven't found her yet. Sorry, that sounded rude."

"No, don't be. I actually was involved with someone, but it's over now. I'm not looking for anything permanent. A night with you, if that's what you want, would be good for right now."

"At least you're honest," he looked up as the waiter brought them their food. He heard some familiar laughing behind him and he turned around. He saw the back of a redhead. He smiled and faced Tanya again. "Enjoy your meal and we'll see what tonight brings us."

She took a bite of her food and looked up at him. "So, what do you do for a living?"

"Used to be a Marine, now, I just work on computers," he said.

"Are you some type of computer genius?"

"No, just learning. It's not everything that I want to do, but it's a good start. Everything seems to be computers now, so I figured I need to do that."

"What did you do between learning computers and being a Marine?"

"Well, I worked as an assistant to a few CEOs at large companies."

"You mean, like a secretary?"

"No, an assistant. A secretary answers phones and types letters. I did a lot of things. I like that kind of work, but for now, I'll settle for the technical jobs."

"Sounds like you've got your future planned," she smiled as she sipped her wine.

"Well, not really. I just know that I want to continue working. Whatever happens after that's just destiny. I can't plan anything anymore."

She finished her food and took his hand. "Let's go back to your room."

He stood up and paid the check. He led her out to his car. They rode in silence back to the hotel.

He sat on the bed and she walked slowly toward him. "Jim, do you want me?"

He placed his hands on her hips. "For tonight, yes, I do want you. I just don't want any misunderstandings. I can't ever do any more than we'll do right now."

"I'm not asking for anything, but you, right now," she unbuttoned her blouse. "Please, kiss me now."

He stood up and ran his hands down her shoulders to remove her blouse. He kissed her softly on the mouth. _No, she's not it, but for now, she'll do,_ he thought, as he laid her on the bed.

She removed his shirt and fingered his tattoo. "Where'd you get that?"

"The marines," he whispered, as he ran his hands down her chest.

She unzipped his pants and he kicked them off. He pulled her down and threw them on the floor. He held her in his arms as they had sex.

He wrapped the blanket around them and touched her face. "I'm sorry, Tanya."

"Please don't be. It's been a while, and I needed it. I know your heart wasn't in it, but thank you," she kissed his cheek. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No, you can stay the night if you want," he whispered.

She closed her eyes. "Good-night, Jim."

"Good-night, Tanya."

Jim woke up the next morning and Tanya had already left. He went into the bathroom and turned on the hot water for the shower. He noticed the writing on the mirror as the fog hit the cold glass. _Thanks, Jim._

He shook his head and smiled. "I've got to stop this. This is just too much anymore," he jumped in the shower and washed himself as he let the water pour down his body.

He got dressed and picked up his laptop and briefcase and headed out _._

He got in his car and drove down the road. He passed the movie theater and smiled when he saw the sign _William Holden film festival._ He pulled in front of a small computer shop and went inside.

"Yes, I'm Jim O'Roark. I'm here to set up your network," he smiled.

"Oh, yes, I'm Roger Langley. I've been expecting you," he stretched out his hand.

Jim shook it. "So, where do I start?"

"Follow me," Roger led him into a small server room. "So, have you ever been to Boise before?"

"No, this is my first time. This is my last job and then I'm going home."

"Well, I hope while you're in town, you get to see some our sights. It's a nice peaceful town. Tomorrow's the film festival. It should be fun."

"I hope to be gone by tomorrow, but if not, I'll certainly take in the movie _Stalag 17_. It's one of my favorites," Jim sat down at the computer and started to get to work. "This shouldn't take that long."

"Good. I really need the backup system. People come in here and want their computer fixed or their videos restored, and without a backup, I could really be screwed."

"Don't worry about that. I'll take care of it," Jim searched through the files and then started rebuilding the systems. "Roger, you said you do video restorations."

"Yeah. We have the equipment, so, I just added it to our sales. Video restoration, transferring video to DVD, and things like that. You'd be surprised how many people use our services."

"Sounds pretty cool," Jim said, as he rebooted the machine. "Do you have an hour available where we can shut down the systems?"

"Why?"

"I want to test the backups. I set it up so that it should do backups at midnight, but let's set it up for noon right now."

Roger looked at his watch. "Yeah, we can close for lunch, we usually close one to two, but we can switch it to noon."

"Let's do it. I think this should be it, but I want to make sure it works before I head home," Jim logged into the computer when it came back up. "Looks good so far. Let's see what happens in a half an hour."

"You want to go grab something to eat? There's a diner across the street," Roger asked.

"Sure. Let's go."

Roger locked the front door and turned the sign around. They headed to a small diner. "So, Jim, what do you do when you're not working on computers?"

"Lately, not much. I've been traveling and then I found this job. I like it, but I'm getting tired of traveling. In a week or so, I'm meeting my brother in Vegas for a cop convention. But for me, it's a vacation. After that, I'm not sure what to do."

"Well, I hope you find what you're looking for," Roger said, as he motioned to the waitress.

She walked over and smiled. "Can I help you, Roger?"

"Yeah, coffee please," Roger smiled.

"Coffee sounds good," Jim said. "She's pretty."

"Yeah. Oh, yeah," Roger smiled. "She's my wife."

"Oh, sorry," Jim said.

"That's OK. I trust her, and I love her so much. She has made me so happy."

"That's really great."

"So, are you married?"

"At one time. She died nine years ago."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry."

"That's OK. I know that there's someone out there for me. I just haven't found her yet. But I've had some fun trying," he laughed.

"Good for you."

She came back with the coffee. "You two want some sandwiches?" She touched Roger's hand.

"Yes, darling. Surprise us."

She shook her head and came back five minutes later with their lunch. They ate in silence and then headed back to the shop.

Jim sat behind the server computer and watched the backups as they ran. He removed the old tapes and added new ones. "Roger, this looks really good. Here's my card, if you need tech support, feel free to call or email me. Just change the tapes every night after you close up."

"Sounds great, Jim," Roger shook his hand. "I really appreciate your help on this."

"No problem. If something ever fails, just let me know. I won't hesitate to come up here and fix it for you," Jim picked up his bags. "Talk to you soon, Roger."

Jim headed back to his hotel room and dropped on the bed. He watched television for a while and then fell asleep.

The next morning, he picked up the phone and called Christopher. "Hey, it's Jim."

"Where are you?" Chris said wearily.

"Did I wake you?"

"JC, it's five in the morning, my shift doesn't start until eleven."

"Oh, sorry. I just thought I'd let you know that I'll meet you in Vegas."

"You're going now?"

"Yeah. I figured I need a vacation. So, I'll see you at _the New Frontier Hotel & Casino_ in a week. I'll be there on Sunday."

"Are you sure you want to be in Vegas alone for a few days?"

"Chris, I'll be fine. I know the convention starts Monday. What day are you going to be there?"

"Wednesday. JC, I'll see you then. No worries. Now, I'm getting some more sleep," he hung up the phone.

Jim lay back on the bed and closed his eyes. Never been to Vegas before, it could be cool.

After a couple of hours, he packed up his bags and headed toward the lobby. Tanya was standing behind the counter. "Leaving so soon?" She smiled at him.

"Yeah. I wanted to thank you," he beamed at her.

She touched his hand lightly. "It was, yes, it was my pleasure. Have a good life, Jim."

"I will," he leaned across the counter and kissed her cheek. "Take care of yourself," he picked up his bags and headed out to his car. He took a deep breath as he started the car.

### Nevada
### 13

JIM PULLED IN front of the _New Frontier Hotel & Casino_. He grabbed his bags out of the trunk and gave the Valet his keys. He tiredly walked up to the front desk and checked in. "Cops arriving already?" he asked.

"Yes, sir. From all over the world," the woman said. "Tyler will take your bags up for you."

"Thanks. When my brother, Officer Christopher O'Roark arrives, will you tell him my room number?"

"Yes, sir, enjoy your stay."

He went up to his hotel room and unpacked his suitcase. He walked out on the balcony and smiled at the Las Vegas Neon lights. He took a deep breath and went into the bathroom to shower.

He got dressed and headed down to the bar in the hotel. He sat down and ordered a drink. "Vodka, straight up, please," he said to the bartender. He sipped his drink as he watched different men walk in and out of the bar. He glanced out to the lobby and saw a congregation of officers head into the banquet room. He shook his head and gulped his drink. "Another, please."

He slowly sipped it and stared at himself in the mirror over the bar. He briefly got a glimpse of a redhead heading into the banquet room. "Redheads. Always around," he whispered.

After another drink, he headed out into the lobby and sat down. He stared down at the floor, _why am_ I _even here? Well, I'm here, so there has to be something I_ _can do_. He stood up and walked over to the desk clerk. "Can you have someone bring my car out front, please?"

"Yes, sir. It'll take just a few minutes," she said, as she picked up the phone.

"That's OK. I don't mind waiting," Jim stood at the counter for a few minutes and then walked back toward the chairs in the lobby. A woman was hurrying out of the bar and dropped her purse on the ground. When she bent over to pick it up, he handed it to her. "Here, let me help you," he smiled brilliantly at her. "Here you go, ma'am," he saluted her and walked away.

"Mr. O'Roark, your car's waiting for you," the doorman said to him.

Jim hurried out to his car without looking back. He sat in the driver seat and noticed a redhead coming out of the doorway out of the corner of his eye, but he stepped on the gas and drove for a while.

After driving around the main streets of Las Vegas, he headed back to his hotel. He went up to his room and collapsed on the bed. _I_ _just can't wait to go home. He thought. I've got to stop this traveling. It's too much for me anymore._ I _need a sit-down job and just live life riding my bike. I've got to just let life come to me_.

The next morning, he headed down to the restaurant. As he sat down, he heard a familiar voice call his name. "Jim? Jim, is that you?"

He turned around. "Evan? Hey, come on and take a seat," Jim motioned to him. "So, what brings you to Vegas?"

"Cop convention," Evan said with a frown as he sat down.

"I thought that you were a detective."

"I used to be, but I lost my detective shield. No big deal, just working as an officer to get my full pension."

"Sorry to hear that."

"Hey, don't worry about it. What are you doing here?"

"Oh, my brother, Chris, is an officer, too. He's coming in on Wednesday for the convention. I just thought I could use a vacation, but now that I'm here, I'd just rather go home."

"Is everything OK?"

"Yeah, just tired of traveling. I've been doing it since I before I saw you in Detroit."

"That was over two years ago," Evan remarked.

"I know. I think I'm going home tomorrow. I just am too damn tired. I'm getting too old for this."

"Jim, don't worry about it. I'm a hell of a lot older than you. What you need is a good woman."

"Have you found one yet?"

"No, but I'm having fun trying," he smiled. "Hey, if I don't see you again, good luck," Evan shook his hand.

"See you, Evan. Good luck with you and stay away from the redheads," he laughed.

Jim ordered his breakfast and slowly ate. He looked around at the multitude of officers sitting and eating breakfast. He smiled briefly when he noticed the two officers from the Middleburg diner. _Yeah. Time to go home._

He went back to his room and stared at the television all day. He picked up the phone that evening and called Christopher. "Chris, I'm sorry, but I won't be here when you get here."

"JC, what's wrong?"

"I guess I'm just homesick and tired. I've had enough of traveling. I'm going home to enjoy my new house. I'll figure out what to do next when I get there. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. I'll call you when I get back from Vegas. Remember, I'll stand by you, no matter what," Chris said.

"Thanks, big brother. Talk to you soon," Jim hung up the phone.

Jim lay down on the bed and stared out the window. _Yup, it's time to go home. Definitely, time to go home._

The next morning, he packed up his bags and headed down to the lobby. "Yes, I'm checking out earlier than expected."

"Yes, Mr. O'Roark, we'll have your car brought out front for you," she said. "I hope that you enjoyed your stay."

"Oh, yes, I did. Thank you."

### Arizona

### 14

JIM PULLED IN front of his house and sighed heavily. He walked up to the front door and dropped on his porch. He stared at his car and shook his head. He walked into the house with his bags and started to unpack.

He lay down on his boyhood bed and gazed at the ceiling. _Nope, nothing yet_. He thought _, what am_ I _going to do for the rest of my life?_ He soon fell asleep.

The next morning, he picked up the phone and dialed. "Hi, Mom. It's me."

"James, where are you?"

"I'm home now. It's where I belong."

"James, what's wrong? You sound so sad."

"Mom, I'm OK. I've just concluded that I have to stop looking back. Well, at least, stop looking back at my life. I picked up some books and I'm going to take some time off. I want to do something with my life besides sit around this small house."

"James, you were always so good at history. Don't think that just because you're moving forward, you can't look back. Baby, that's how we learn from our mistakes."

"Mom, I know that. I can't live in the past, though. Janet's gone. Dad's gone. Even Matty's dead. I can't keep trying to relive something that's just gone forever. I can't get back any of those moments. I'll talk to you later, mom," he hung up.

He sat at the kitchen table and sipped his coffee. "Hmm, history. I know this town has so much history," he smiled softly. "Angel, I know that I'll never find you. I'm sorry, but if you exist, you'll have to come to me."

He walked out to his car and headed to the car dealership. The salesman walked over to him. "Mr. O'Roark, how are today?"

"Fine, Frank. I'd like to sell my car. I'll be using my bike, so I really don't need it anymore. It's only a few months old. Can you do something with it for me?"

"You want to sell that?" Frank's eyes lit up.

"Yeah. I know I can't get what I paid for it, but it's not about the money. I just don't need it."

"What'd you pay for it?"

"A little over 70. I don't care if you get 30 for it. Someone should be able to get some use out of it," Jim said.

"I'll see what I can do. I just may buy it myself," Frank smiled.

"Whatever you want. I'll leave it here, just let me know. Here's my new home number. When you sell it, just give me a call," Jim walked toward the end of the parking lot and back toward his house. _That takes care of that_ , he thought as he walked out to his garage.

He hopped on his bike and headed out for a long ride. He found himself pulling in front of the Middleburg General Hospital. He took a deep breath and walked inside. He stood in front of the receptionist and smiled. "Yes, hi. My name is James O'Roark and I'd like to donate to the hospital."

She smiled. "Hi, I'm Treena. Usually the donations are made through Mr. Welch, but he's concentrating on the Solutions Computer Systems building in Sars Springs right now."

"Oh, I've heard about that. Do you know if there are any job openings there yet?"

"Customer service, call center, and admin jobs. I know they have been working on building a tech department, but no available jobs yet. I'm waiting for that kind of job."

"Yeah, me, too. I like that kind of work," he smiled. "Maybe we'll end up working there together," he beamed.

"Yeah, that would be nice," she said. "Oh, I'm sorry. You wanted to make a donation?"

"Yeah, to the heart and lung ward in memory of my father," he said sadly.

"If you go up to the third floor, and head for the corporate wing, Mrs. Raines, Mr. Welch's secretary can take the donation for you."

"Thanks. Oh, Treena, since you seem to have a little inside information, can I give you my number?"

"James, I'm married," she smiled.

"No, what I meant was, will you call me when the tech jobs start to have openings? I'd really appreciate it."

"Sure, I can do that," Treena took his card from his hand and he headed to the elevator.

He walked down the corridor until he saw Mr. Welch's name on the door. He slowly opened the door. "Um, yes, I'm James O'Roark and I'd like to donate to the hospital."

Mrs. Raines looked up and smiled. "Mr. Welch isn't in, but I can help you. How much would you like to donate?"

"It's not very large, just about fifty thousand in memory of my father, Carl O'Roark," he smiled sadly as he took out his checkbook.

"Are you sure, sir?"

"Yes, ma'am. I'm sure. I have money. I just don't need it right now," he smiled. "I know this hospital needs a lot of work. I'm hoping that one day Mr. Welch can put more effort in getting it upgraded."

"He's planning on it. Right now, he wants to add more jobs to community."

"I understand. Here's my check," Jim handed it to her. "Thank you for letting me do this. I really appreciate it."

Jim headed back out to his bike. He smiled as he started it up. _If I can't help myself, at least I can help others_. He drove toward home.

Jim walked up the steps to the city hall of Florence. He took a deep breath as he opened the door to the hall of records. He smiled brightly at the woman behind the counter. "Yes, I'm James O'Roark."

Her young eyes lit up. "Oh, the marine? Wow, here in my office. This is so cool."

"Well, I used to be a Marine. I've been thinking about doing some historical research for the small towns in the area and I thought I'd start with Florence."

"Anything you need. Just let me know," she said. "You can have access to any of our records."

"Thanks. I've already been in contact with the historical society and they've agreed to publish my research when it's finished," he beamed as he headed to a group of tables.

He looked through piles of magazines and books and sat down. He worked for several hours of reading documents. When he finished, he headed home and sat down at his laptop to finish writing his papers.

He leaned back in the chair and stared at the calendar. _Only a few more months until I can apply for that job at Solutions,_ he thought. _I need something, something important in my life. Hopefully, this job will work out._

He picked up the phone. "Hey, Chris, it's me."

"What's going on?" Chris asked.

"Oh, nothing. Still working on the research papers. I really can't wait until I can get back to tech work. I never thought that I'd miss it, but I do," he sighed.

"You could always be a cop," Chris teased.

"Can you see me being a cop?" Jim laughed.

"Actually, little brother, yes, I could," Chris said. "You were a Marine. Not much different from being a cop. Of course, the scumbags are a little different, but all the same, you still carry a gun."

"I haven't shot a weapon since basic," Jim said. "I'll think about it. But, really, I don't feel like risking my life for people I don't know. Not to be mean, but the first person I want to risk my life for, is the woman I love."

"So, did you find her yet?"

"No. And right now, I'm not looking. I guess I expect her to just walk passed me and then I'll _know_ it's her," he laughed. "I'm just keeping busy right now."

"Do you have a life?" Chris asked.

"Right now, no. I mean, I go out on the bike and ride, and I have my research, but, no."

"What about that girl you told me about?"

"Oh, Treena? Well, she's nice, but she's married. Her husband's a really nice guy. But, Chris, if she wasn't married, she still would not be it. She just a good friend. We hope that we get to work together when Solutions starts hiring for their tech department."

"So, how long has it been since you've been to Sars Springs?"

"A little while. I really don't go past Middleburg."

"Well, I hope you find what you're looking for. I'll talk to you later."

Jim hung up and turned on the local news. He lit a cigarette and took a deep puff. "Should've never started these again," he sighed. "Well, I guess I do need one vice in my life."

He closed his eyes and tried to picture a new life for himself, but his mind was so foggy, it seemed to drift away.

Jim sat on his front porch and looked up as Treena walked up the front steps. "Hey, what's going on?" Jim asked.

"I'm a little nervous about these interviews," she said, as she sat next to him.

"Hey, don't worry about it. There's what? Like three or four positions available?"

"I know, but do you realize how many people have applied for these jobs?"

"Treena, don't worry about it. If it doesn't work out, you'll still have your job at the hospital. It'll work out. They must've liked us. Otherwise, they wouldn't have called us in for an interview. I think my phone interview went well."

"Yeah, mine, too. I guess I'm nervous. What if I get the job? Have you heard all the stuff about that place?"

"What stuff?"

"Well, for one, Karrie Olsen, the one who'll interview us, isn't even our really boss. There's some other lady that will be our boss. We won't even meet her until we get hired."

"I'm sure she'll be fine."

"What will she know about tech stuff? I heard that she's from their HR department. Jim, what if we get the job?"

"Treena, it'll all work out. I know that I need this job. I've had my head in a book for almost a year now. I liked the research I was doing for the Florence Township, but it's done with now. I need a job. I've kept up with my skills."

"You're so smart. What if we don't get along with the people that work here? What if?" Treena started to rattle on.

"Please, stop. You can only take it one step at a time. We'll do the interview tomorrow and see what happens. If we get it, great, we'll both have new jobs. If we don't get it, we'll find something else."

"I guess," she stood up.

"Treena, tell John that I said hello. I'll see you at Solutions tomorrow," Jim smiled brightly. "See, it's even called _Solutions_. It'll solve all of our problems," he laughed.

"Funny, Jim," she shook her head as she walked back to her car.

"I thought so," he teased as he continued to read his book.

### 15

Jim rode the two hours to Sars Springs. He pulled into the parking lot and took a deep breath. He watched as the employees piled in through the doors. As he lit up a cigarette, he noticed a beautiful blonde woman heading out of the building. He smiled. "Wow, she's beautiful," he watched as she got in a large, black truck and then pulled out of the parking lot. "Hmm, Stalker? Cute for a woman," he laughed to himself as he admired the license plate of the black truck.

He slowly walked through the front doors. "Yes, I'm James O'Roark. I've an interview with Karrie Olsen."

"Yes, please have a seat. She'll be right with you," the woman said.

Jim sat down and nervously ran his hands over his crew cut. _I hope this all works out. I really need to do something besides keep my head in a book all my life._

A few minutes later, Treena walked in the building. She took her seat next to Jim. "So, still waiting?"

"Yeah," he took a deep breath.

Soon, a petite woman with large rimmed glasses approached them. "Hi, I'm Karrie Olsen," she smiled shyly. "Why don't you two follow me upstairs?"

Jim and Treena followed her upstairs to a small office.

Karrie looked at the two of them and smiled. "Please, have a seat. I don't usually do two interviews at the same time, but we're so pressed to get new employees in here. We're working on a limited staff," Jim and Treena sat down. "I've reviewed both of your resumes and am extremely impressed. Let me tell you a little about the job. The department that we're hiring you for is Customer Support. You both will take the incoming calls and troubleshoot the problems. If the problem requires more troubleshooting than the first call will cover, you'll open a ticket and assign it to one of our other techs. If it's a hardware issue, it'll be assigned to that department. You'll meet them later," she took a breath.

"Excuse me, but you're acting as if we have the job," Jim said.

"Oh, I'm sorry. You both have the job if you want it. This interview was for me to meet you. I'll tell you about the job and if you still want it when I'm finished, you can start today."

"Really?" Treena's eyes lit up.

"Yes," Karrie smiled as she pushed up her glasses. "The supervisor of the Customer Support Team is Alex Garrison and the supervisor of the Hardware Support team is Joe Whittaker," she paused. "Andrea Marks and Charles Little work for Joe. And currently, we have three employees on the Customer Support Team, Greg Shapone, Helen Jameson, and Randy Harrison. Joe and Alex report to me. In a few weeks, we'll have a new district manager. To be honest, I don't know much about him, just that he's really good at his job."

"What else does this job entail?" Treena asked.

"We currently have ten contracts with local businesses. We have a call center downstairs for sales calls. We're always trying to get more businesses to support. We supply them with equipment and support. Right now, we handled support for local hospitals and insurance companies, but we're always looking to expand. We also provide training and do their nightly backups here," she smiled. "Do you two have any questions?"

"No, Ms. Olsen," Jim said.

"Please, call me Karrie. We're all on a first name basis here," she stood up and opened the door. "Oh, I see Alex heading toward her office. Come on and follow me. Don't let her demeanor scare you. She may come off as a little hard-edged, but she's a very nice person. She's confident and extremely smart. Yes, she came to us from the HR department, but she has already completed a probationary trip that we send the high-level techs on. She's one of a kind. Let me introduce you to your new boss."

Jim and Treena stood up. Jim took a deep breath as he watched the blonde walk down the hall.

"Hey," Karrie said. "How was Afton?"

Alex Garrison turned around. _Oh, my god. It's her. It's definitely her_ , Jim thought.

Alex smiled at them. "Not too bad. Gave Randy the upgrade and then we went to lunch. He's on his way to Markston for his final upgrade."

"I wanted to introduce you to our two newest employees. This is James O'Roark and this is Treena Niddlehouse."

Alex shook both their hands. "Hi. Good to have you here. Your cubicles are set up across the hall," Alex pointed out. "I'll bring you over and have you meet Helen and Greg. Randy will be coming back tomorrow."

Alex walked across the hall and they followed behind her. "Treena, James, you'll be sharing this cubicle. James, you'll sit over here and, Treena, right there. Feel free to make it like home. There are keys for each drawer and overhead shelf. I see that your paperwork is already on your desk. Your logins will automatically clock you in, so you don't need to worry about that. The rest of the paperwork needs to be filled out by you and then put on my desk by the end of the day."

"Not a problem," Treena said.

"Alex?" Jim asked.

"Yes, James?"

"You can call me Jim and thanks so much. I can't wait to get started," he smiled brilliantly.

"You're welcome. Tomorrow, we'll be having a team lunch. I want everyone to meet each other in a casual manner and I've some things to go over that I want you all to hear," Alex said. "If you need me, I'll be in my office. My door's always opened, except when it's closed," she smiled.

Jim sat down at his computer and looked around. "Treena, this job's going to be great," he stared toward Alex's door. _Boy, she's beautiful. I think she did just walk passed me._

A few minutes later, a tall, dark-haired man walked over to their cubicle. "Hey, I'm Greg. I just wanted to introduce myself," he stretched out his hand.

Jim stood up. "So, how long have you worked here?"

"A few days. It's a great place to work. And Alex is one hell of a boss."

"She seems really nice," Jim said.

"Yeah, she is. Don't let her hard-exterior fool you. She's quite the lovely woman," Greg smiled. "Well, I'm going out for a smoke, care to join me?"

Jim stood up. "Sure, thanks," Jim followed Greg outside. "So, how long have you known Alex?"

"Quite a long time, though she doesn't want anyone to know that right now. Why? You find her attractive, don't you?"

"Well, yeah, of course," Jim blushed. "She's so beautiful."

"Well, she's mine. She doesn't know it right now, but she belongs with me. You can try, but she'll end up with me sooner or later," Greg smiled.

"Sorry, I didn't know," Jim said, as he thought, _yeah, right. In your dreams, maybe._

"That's OK. She doesn't even know right now," Greg said, as he finished his cigarette. "I'll see you inside."

Jim finished out his day, got on his bike, and headed home. As he opened the door, his phone was ringing. "Hello?"

"Jim, its mom. I've been trying to get a hold of you all day."

"Sorry, Mom. I got the job at Solutions. In fact, I started today."

"Oh, baby, that's really great."

"Yeah, it is and Mom, I found her."

"What? Found who?"

"Mom, I found my angel."

"James, what are you talking about?"

"Mom, I saw her today. She barely knows I'm alive, but I found her. She's my angel. She's the one in my dreams."

"She's a blonde, isn't she?" Carol laughed.

"That has nothing to do with it. She's my angel. Now, I just have to figure out a way to get her to notice me."

"Whatever happens, I wish you luck, son. Have a good night."

Jim hung up the phone. "I'll find a way to make her notice me."

### 16

THE NEXT MORNING, Jim headed to the office. He found Greg standing outside having a cigarette. "Hey, Greg, what's up?" Jim said.

"Nothing, just having a smoke before my shift starts," Greg looked up the street. "Oh, my god. Look at her," he whispered.

Jim turned his head to see Alex walking across the parking lot toward them. "Does she walk to work every day?"

"Her car's in the shop right now, but, yeah, she loves taking walks," Greg replied. "She loves a lot of things."

Jim held his breath as not let on his attraction for his own boss.

"Good morning," Alex said, smiling.

"Good morning. Are you OK?" Greg asked

"I'm totally fine. Thanks for asking," Alex said, as she kept walking.

"Something's different about her today," Greg said.

"What do you mean? She looks really, really great," Jim smiled.

"Yes, she certainly does. Just the way she's smiling. It looks good on her."

"Yes, it does," Jim sighed. He finished his cigarette and headed to his cube. He opened his email only to find one from Alex. "Please meet in the conference room off the cafeteria for our team lunch at 12:30 PM today-Alex," he leaned back in his chair. _I have to get her to notice me, somehow. She's perfect for me. I just have to show her._

He did his work for the morning and then at 12:30, he followed Greg, Helen, and Treena downstairs to the conference room. Jim sat next to Alex and held on to her every word.

Karrie and Alex also took their seats. A few minutes later, Randy came into the room. Jim watched as Alex looked in Randy's direction. Alex then spoke. "I wanted to take this time to have everyone on our team get to know each other," she started. "We don't have to know each other's life story, but we can see who we'll be working with. Being part of a team means to work as a team and learn how to trust each other."

"I agree," Karrie said. "I'm Karrie and Joe and Alex both report to me. You work directly for Alex and should report everything to Alex first."

"What do you do?" Greg asked.

"Sometimes I wonder," Karrie laughed. "I do the hiring and firing for both departments. Alex and Joe can make recommendations to me," she stopped for a minute and looked around the room. "I must sound like I'm bragging or something..."

"No, Karrie. We all know you're not," Alex looked at the faces around the table. "The other thing that you need to know is that soon, there will now be a District Manager. He'll arrive in a few weeks. He'll be in charge of all of the Managers that work in this building. They're looking to expand the company into other states, such as Nevada, California, and some more offices here in Arizona, and the district manager will oversee that construction," she said in a sterile tone.

Karrie jumped in. "His name's William Weaver. He's from New Jersey or someplace like that."

"Well, let's eat. Please take this time to get to know each other," Alex said.

Jim listened to her so intently as he thought about her words. _There's something deep inside her. Something's hurting her, so deep inside._

Everyone got up from their chairs and went over to dish out their food. They sat back down and started eating.

Jim watched Alex. She was looking intently at Randy. _Must be something going on between them. Well, he's married. I'm certainly not. I_ _won't give up on getting my Angel, that's for sure_. He smiled to himself.

He looked at Greg's face as he spoke. "Randy, aren't you hungry?" asked Greg.

"Umm," Randy looked around the room. "Not really," Then without another word, he got up and left the room.

Jim shook his head and finished eating. He so wanted to say something, anything to Alex, but just as he was going to speak, Alex spoke. "Before you leave for each day, make sure your areas are neat. We aren't quite sure when Mr. Weaver will arrive. He likes to surprise people," she laughed. "I've a lot of filing to do. Enjoy the last 15 minutes of your lunch. I'll see everyone upstairs." Without another word, she left the room.

Jim sat there for a few minutes and then went outside. He smoked a cigarette as he stared into the sky. I _wish she'd let someone in. Something or someone's causing her pain._ I _need to help her see that she can rely on me. I'm not just another techie_. He finished his cigarette and headed toward her office.

As he was walking toward her office, he noticed Randy storm out. _Where have I seen him before?_ _He looks so familiar._ Jim shook it off as he knocked carefully. She answered the door slowly. He noticed the tears that streaked her face.

"I'm sorry for the intrusion, but do you have a minute to talk with me?" he asked.

"Of course, come on in and take a seat," she said, wiping her eyes, as she sat in her chair. "What can I do for you?"

"Well, downstairs, you said you wanted us to all get to know each other, but you didn't mention anything about yourself."

"I'm sorry. Was there something you wanted to know?" She looked puzzled.

"Why didn't you let anyone who you really are?" Jim stated frankly.

"I-I don't know what you mean. What are you talking about?" she asked nervously.

"You seem like you're putting on a strong and hard exterior. But you need to let people know that you have a heart and are not just about doing 'the job'."

"Where'd you ever get that?"

"The way you came in this morning. You had such a smile on your face, and now here you're with tears in your eyes, I think people should know that you do care. Alex, excuse me for saying this, but you're a beautiful person."

"Jim, people can believe what they need to about me. When I'm here, I shouldn't do this," she said. "What I need to do is make sure everyone's doing what they're supposed to."

"I'm sorry that I bothered you. If you want Greg and I to be the only ones to know that you aren't cold, then let it be," Jim said and left the room. _What the hell did I just do? Well, hopefully she'll take my advice._

He walked back to his cubicle and sat down at his computer. _She's so beautiful_. I _wish that she'd realize it._ The phone ringing interrupted his thoughts.

### 17

A FEW WEEKS LATER, Jim headed to work. He knew that there was something going on with Alex and Randy, but he had this deep feeling that it would never work out. He could tell that Greg was so jealous of Randy. It seemed to be affecting his work. He didn't know what to do about Greg. He just listened to his rants.

Jim stood outside with Treena and Greg when Alex walked toward them. "Good morning,"

"Wow. You look great!" Jim said. "Really, really great."

"Thanks," she smiled and kept walking. He watched her walk up the steps _. Wow, she looks so sexy in that silk outfit. She's so amazing,_ he thought to himself. He went upstairs and started to work.

He noticed that Treena was staring at him. "What?"

She smiled. "You've got a thing for Alex, don't you?"

"No, of course not. She's just a great boss."

"Jim, you can tell me."

"She barely notices me. She's hooked on Randy. I just wish she'd come to her senses."

"What? And choose you?"

"Anyone but him. He's married. I don't know what they have going on with each other, but he follows her around like a puppy dog."

"Jim, the only way to get her to notice you, I mean, really notice you is to tell her how you feel."

"I can't do that," he stared at his computer.

"Think about it. She's the kind of person that wants you to be honest with her. You know that. If you're honest with her about your feelings, hey, you never know. She may drop Randy like a bad habit," Treena turned to her computer and started to work.

Karrie walked over a few hours later. "Hey, Jim. Want to get a smoke?"

"Sure," Jim stood up and followed Karrie. "Hey, Karrie, what's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"You never asked me to go out for a cigarette before."

"Well, I'm not your boss anymore. I'm Bill's new assistant," she said with a frown as she lit her cigarette.

"What's with this Bill, anyway?" Jim asked, as he puffed on his.

"I don't know. All new managers like to make changes. He just made Alex a manager," she shook her head.

Jim smiled to himself. He didn't want to let on to Karrie, but he thought Alex deserved that promotion.

As he was smoking his cigarette, Alex and Greg came outside. He watched her intently as she and Greg talked quietly. He so wished that he could have something that deep with her. She was so beautiful. He wished that he could learn more about her.

Throughout the day, Jim noticed that Greg had been in and out of Alex's office. The last time, Jim stopped him. "Hey, Greg, got a minute?"

"Sure, buddy, what's going on?" Greg asked.

Jim followed him to Greg's large cubicle. "Is there something going on? I've seen you in and out of her office all day."

"Oh, it's nothing. She's hiring herself a new assistant. I'm just helping her write up the position."

"A new assistant?"

"Yeah, I think I'm going to apply for it. Just to see what happens. I really don't want it. I like my job now."

"Hmm, maybe I'll apply."

"You should, James. Apply. You never know what'll happen," Greg said, as Jim left his cube.

Jim sat down in his seat and smiled. "Now, that's one way to get her attention," he whispered to himself.

### 18

JIM AND GREG walked into the tech room and noticed Bill Weaver and Alex standing in the front of the room, deep in discussion.

"What's going on?" Jim asked.

"We're building Alex a new office, right here in this room," Bill said.

"Sounds cool," Jim said.

Greg just kept walking to his cubicle. "Um, Greg?" Bill said.

"Yes, sir?" he turned around.

"You'll have to move to the other side. You can have the double cubicle on the end."

"Oh," Greg sounded disappointed.

"Don't worry. You won't have to share," Bill said.

"Oh, thanks. When do you want me to move?"

"Helen comes in at 11 today. After she comes in, you can start moving your personal items and papers over. You'll need to open a problem ticket to get your computer and phone system moved," Alex said.

"Oh, great," Greg said sarcastically.

"Greg, I'm sure you can request the technician if you ask Joe nicely," Alex snapped back.

"I will. I'll ask for Charles or Andrea."

"Whatever," Alex turned her back to him. "So, Bill, when do you think we can get this started?"

"Well, I have to make some calls and get a contractor in here, so you'll have to suffer in your little office until then," he smiled.

"I've been in smaller places, my office is fine," Alex headed back to her office.

Jim watched her walk to her office and then he went over to Greg's cube. "Are you and Alex having some issues?" he smiled.

"Whatever gave you that idea?" Greg asked.

"Oh, just by the tone of both your voices. What is it with you two?"

"James, buddy, we're just old friends. Don't worry about it. She'll get over it. She always does. I'm sure it won't be too long before cop-boy is out of her life," Greg smiled.

"Cop-boy?"

"Yeah, Randy. He's a cop. You didn't know that?" Greg frowned. "She thinks she has a thing for cops. It's just a fantasy. It's not real. She needs something real."

Jim smiled. "I totally agree with you. I'll see you later," he sat down and watched as Randy ran into Alex's office. "I knew that I've seen him before. That Middleburg cop," he shook his head. "If anyone can make her forget him, it's me," he whispered.

Treena came in the cube and sat down. Jim looked up and smiled. "What's with the smile?" she asked.

"Nothing. Nothing at all," he focused his eyes on Alex's office door. He watched as Randy left and took a deep breath. He stood up and then sat back down.

"Jim? What are you doing?" Treena asked.

"I need, I need, to see Alex," he breathed heavily.

"Then just go knock."

"I can't. I just can't do it."

"Jim, it's about time you've told her. I told you what to do, now just do it," Treena touched his shoulder. "It'll never happen unless you make it happen."

He stood up again, walked as far as the hallway, and then turned around.

Treena laughed slightly. "Just do it, or I'll tell her."

"No, Treena. I can do this myself," he stood up and walked over to her door. He stopped for a moment and then looked back at Treena.

She nodded to him and he knocked lightly. "Alex, do you have a minute?"

Alex was drawing on a piece of paper. She looked up when he came in. "Yes, what is it, Jim?"

He looked at her drawing. "Nice. Very nice."

"Thanks. What do you need, Jim?"

"It's kind of personal."

"Take your time. I'm not that busy right now."

"First, I wanted to apologize to you," he said, as he sat down.

"For what?"

"The conversation we had after the team lunch," he put his head down.

Alex got up from behind the desk and sat next to him in the chair. "Jim, don't worry about it. That was weeks ago, and you were right. I should show more heart. I'm not as cold as everyone may think I am."

Jim looked up at her and smiled. "I was wondering if you would consider having lunch with me?"

Alex looked shocked, but she smiled. "That's the third invitation I've had for lunch today. I wish I could, I really do, but I have to have a lunch meeting with Bill."

Jim looked disappointed. "Oh, sorry I bothered you." _Damn, I_ _waited too long to ask._

"Jim, I'm truly sorry, I really do wish I could."

"That's OK. I understand. It just took me forever to get up the courage to ask you."

"Why? Why did you want to have lunch with me?"

"I-I-I should go now," he got up and quickly left the room. He went outside and lit up a cigarette. He didn't realize it at first, but she followed behind him.

"Jim, is there something you're not telling me?"

He looked around and took a puff of his cigarette. "No, why would you say that?"

"You ran out of my office so quickly," she put her hand on his shoulder. "You can tell me anything."

"It's that, I–I'm attracted to you. I shouldn't be. You're my boss. I shouldn't even be telling you this. Oh, god. I can't believe I said that. Please forget that I said anything. I'm so sorry," he turned away from her and took a long puff off his cigarette. _There I_ _said it. Now, what'll she say?_

"Jim, come over here and sit down," Alex motioned for Jim to follow her over to the benches. He sat down next to her. "I don't see any problem with what you just told me. If you're worried about me saying anything to anyone, I promise, I won't."

"It's not just that. I just can't believe I stood in front of you and told you that I liked you. I've never done that to anyone before. I can't help it. I've been attracted to you since the day I first saw you. But it's not right, you're my boss."

"Jim, don't worry about me being your boss. You're quite, well, attractive yourself. I think that we should talk about this, but probably not right now. If you want to have lunch with me on Friday, we can do that."

Jim smiled. "Thanks, Alex. I don't feel as stupid now."

"Jim, you aren't stupid. You told me what was on your mind. Actually, I like that. Not many people do that. They either lie to themselves or other people. We can talk about it on Friday at lunch, OK?"

"Yeah, thanks," Jim finished his cigarette and Alex went back to her office. He watched her as she entered the building. Then he stared out into the parking lot. _I can't believe what I just did, but I did it. I just hope I didn't act like a total idiot._

Jim headed back upstairs to do some work. At lunch, he decided to take a walk to the park. He sat down at one of the benches and smiled. _Yeah, I found my angel. Now all she has to do is realize that we were meant to be together. I hope that I get the chance. With Greg and Randy in her life, is there room for me? I have to take her confusion away, but how do I get her away from cop-boy?_

When he got back to Solutions, Greg and Karrie were standing outside. He walked over to them. "What's going on?"

Greg pointed over at a black truck that just pulled into the lot. "See, she went to lunch with Bill," he said.

"Big deal. He's her boss," Jim said. "She told me she had to go to lunch with him."

"She told you that?" Greg was surprised.

"Yeah, it's probably just about work," Jim said.

"Oh, well, look at that. He just kissed her. Now, what kind of boss does that?" Greg said.

Alex started to walk passed them quickly, but Karrie asked. "What was that all about?"

"To be honest, I really don't know," Alex said.

"I knew he was after you," Karrie said.

"I doubt it. We had a nice lunch, a business lunch. He's just a nice guy," Alex said.

"So, are you going to sleep with him, too?" asked Greg.

Alex just stared at him. "Nice to see you, too, Greg," she walked away.

"Greg, what did you mean by that?" asked Jim.

"Oh, it's nothing Jim. Don't worry about it," Greg replied.

Jim just shook his head. He knew Greg was just jealous of anyone that had contact with Alex. He walked up to his cubical and stared at the computer monitor.

He took a deep breath and stood up. He walked over to Randy's cube. "Hey, Randy, do you have a minute?" he asked.

"Jim, what do you need?"

"I need to talk to you. Can we go outside for some privacy?" Jim asked.

"Oh, sure. I guess," Randy followed Jim.

Jim stared at the ground for a few minutes and then looked at Randy. "What's with you and Alex?"

"Nothing. We're just friends. That's all," Randy stuttered slightly.

"Randy, everyone knows about you two. What's going on?"

"Why do you care?" Randy asked.

"Because, I like her. She's a good person and I don't want to see her hurt," Jim tried to explain.

"You want her, too. Don't you?"

"I don't want to see her hurt. You and Greg act like you own her. She's a beautiful person, not just on the outside."

Randy shook his head. "She's hurting right now, more than you'll ever know. Besides, this is none of your business. Jim, just back off. Greg won't be around much longer. He's hurting her more than anyone right now."

"I know we don't know each other very well, but I'm just going to say this. You're being so unfair to her. You're trying to be with her when you're married to someone else. You should just keep it in your damn pants. Life isn't about sex, you know. Why don't you just make up your mind!" Jim stormed upstairs.

He sat down in his cubicle and relived the few words he said to Randy. _How can someone just hurt her? He may not realize it, but a few moments aren't worth as much as a lifetime. I know I shouldn't have butted in, but it needed to be said._

About an hour later, Alex walked into the tech room. "I need to speak with all of you. Can you come into my office?"

Jim's eyes lit up as he watched her. She was so professional, and yet, she was just a woman who needed help.

"What about incoming calls?" Treena asked.

"Send them to the hold queue. This is important," Alex walked to her office and they all filed in behind her. "Jim, please close the door."

After Jim shut the door, Alex looked at everyone. "Sorry this office is a little cramped. But I wanted to talk to you while you were all still here. I have two things I wanted to discuss with you. First, yes, Bill kissed me on the cheek, no big deal, if he does it again, he'll have to deal with Donald. Any questions?" No one spoke.

_Wow, she actually said something about it. Now, that's a remarkable woman. No holds barred when it comes to her. Not everyone would mention something like that. God,_ I _want her_ , Jim thought.

"Second and most important. They're going to build me a new office in the front of the room, where those four empty cubicles are. I want to be closer to you people. I want us all to work well together. I don't want me to be just your boss. I want us to all be partners."

"Sounds good," Greg said, as he turned to leave.

"I'm not finished yet."

"Sorry."

"Right now, there are four of you on our team. That means we'll have one extra cubicle. I want you all to think about this before you decide. We can give the remaining cube to James and then everyone will have their own, or we can turn the cubicle into a test lab."

"A test lab? We could use one of those," Jim said.

"Well, I don't want a decision right now. I know that we have the computer lab, but the hardware department mostly uses that. The only time we seem to use it is to burn our CDs. If you decide to have the computer lab, I'll need input from everyone as to what needs to be put into it. But this is up to you. Let me know by tomorrow afternoon,"

"Ok, sounds good," Treena said. They all started walking out.

"Um, Jim, can you stay for a minute?"

_She wants to see me, cool, so cool_. He smiled. "Sure," After everyone left, he asked. "What do you need?"

"I need you to work on something for me. I want you to gather all the information about each person's workstation, including the hardware department. I want to know everything. I even want the specs from Karrie, Joe, and William's workstations. I know that Bill has a laptop, but I want the all of the specs."

"I can do that."

"If anyone gives you any problem, you let me know right away and I'll deal with them. I want to make sure that we all have comparable equipment and if Customer support doesn't, we'll get it."

"Thanks," Jim beamed as he left the room. "She's looking out for us," he said. _She knows who I am,_ he thought as he headed to pack up his things.

When he got home, he dropped on the sofa and put his feet up. _Alex, someday soon, I hope you'll realize that I am falling for you. I want so much to be with you. I want the chance to show you that I can be someone you'll love._

Jim turned on the television after dinner and sat down on the sofa. He flipped through the channels until he found the local news.

"Our top story tonight, there was an officer involved car accident in Middleburg tonight," The anchorwoman began. "Two police officers were driving down Main Street when a driver pulled out in front of them causing a crash. The police car overturned several times. One of the officers died at the scene, while the other one is at Middleburg general hospital, where he remains critical."

Jim sat up quickly. "The officers' names have just been released since the families have just been notified. The officer who was killed was 38-year-old, Leon Towers of Afton. Forty-nine-year-old, Randy Harrison of Middleburg is in critical condition at Middleburg hospital. There has been no other update. Now, for other local news..."

Jim turned off the television, _I never wanted for something like this to happen. Oh, Alex, drop this married cop. You deserve so much better. I can love you. Please just give me the chance._

He put his feet up on the coffee table and leaned his head back. _It's been so long since I've felt whole. Please, Alex, give me a chance. I'll never hurt you._

He closed his eyes and began to think about what it would be like to finally hold his Angel. What it would be like to kiss her and make love to her. _What would it be like? Perfect_. He smiled.

### 19

JIM STOOD OUTSIDE of Solutions with Greg, Treena, and Karrie where they were having a cigarette. Alex walked up to them solemnly. "Did you guys hear about what happened to Randy?"

"No, what happened?" They asked together.

"He was in a bad car accident last night. His partner was killed and he's in critical condition at the hospital."

"How'd you hear?" Karrie asked.

"It was on the news last night. He'll be fine, his wife, Joanna, is with him."

"That's really too bad," Greg said.

Like you care, Greg!" Alex stormed up to her office.

"Greg, you didn't have to be such a jerk to her," Jim said.

"I didn't mean to. I just couldn't help it. That old man's just ruining her life."

"Maybe, maybe not, but it's her life," Jim said. _Greg's right. Randy's ruining her life._

Jim headed upstairs and stared at Alex's door. He noticed that it had remained shut all day. When Bill walked out of her office, Greg had headed in. _She's always so busy, but what's with Bill's interest in her? He's always right there with her. Something's not right about that man, either. Is it me? Or is every man in this building just crazy about her? What's with this woman that has me so drawn to her? She's so familiar. Yet, she's a complete stranger that I just have to become a part of._

Jim sighed heavily as Greg came out. "Hey, Greg, is she OK?"

"Yeah, she's still working on that research project," Greg said.

"Is she still mad at you?" Jim smiled.

"I don't think so. She's just buried in that damn paper. She's worried about Officer Harrison and I think that Bill's driving her a little crazy," Greg smiled. "She'll be just fine. You'll see. She's been in much worse situations than this. James, you don't need to worry about her."

"I know, but I do. I can't help the way that I feel about her."

"James, it's OK. She'd be good for you."

"I thought that you wanted her," Jim smiled slightly.

"I do. Someday, she'll be mine, but please, by all means, go after her. She'd be good for you. I think that you need a woman, anyway."

"You're kidding, right?"

"No, go ahead, ask her on a date. See what's she says. If she says yes, cool. If not, just keep trying," Greg said.

"You're really serious, aren't you? I thought that you loved her," Jim said.

"I do, but she just needs some time to realize that she loves me," Greg smiled. "And she'll realize it soon enough," he abruptly walked away.

Jim shook his head. "If she hasn't fallen in love with you yet, she never will," he whispered. "I just have to figure a way to get in her life," he leaned back in the chair and focused his eyes on her door. _Tomorrow's a new day_ , he thought.

### 20

JIM SAT ON his sofa and drank his coffee. He had stayed up all night trying to figure out the best way to help Alex. She really needed to have some fun. Actually, he needed to have some fun, too. It has been so long since he's done anything that didn't require a book to read.

He put his feet up on the table. He knew that Alex was hurting because of Randy's car accident the other night. He also knew that he could not take advantage of her. He was just going to let things run like normal. He really wanted to just make a move to show her how he felt. But he knew, with her sadness about Randy, he couldn't hurt her. He had to show her that he could love her.

He rode to work on his bike and noticed that her door was closed most of the morning. He kept watching her door and sighed heavily as he thought of the words that he'd say to her. He could feel Treena's eyes on him. "What?" he asked.

"You're thinking about her again, aren't you?" She smiled.

"How could you tell?" Jim asked.

"The look in those blue eyes of yours. I know that you want her. Jim, just give her time. Randy's still in the hospital. But, I did hear that there could be hope for you," she laughed slightly.

"Hope for me? What are you talking about?

"Randy's wife is back. She's been by his side all day and all night. We all know what traumatic events do to people. Obviously, they bring each other closer together. Especially when they're married."

"How do you know all this?"

"I keep my ears open and my mouth shut. I know everything that's going on," she looked back at her computer screen. "Your time will come, Jim."

He couldn't rely on what Treena said, but he really wanted to. _How could he say something to her? What could he say that would profoundly impact the way Alex looked at him?_ Nothing came to him. He tried to concentrate, but all he thought of was making her pain go away. He could tell by the way she acted and reacted that there was so much pain deep inside her. He wanted to let her know that he understood the pain and could help her but didn't know how. There was something that she was trying to hide from. He could just tell that she needed him. Even if she didn't realize it.

"Treena, what the hell do I say to her?" Jim said.

"Jim, what happened between you two the other day? You did tell her how you felt. Didn't you?" Treena smiled.

"Yes, I did. At least she didn't make me feel stupid. Actually, she did say that I was attractive. That's a start, isn't it?" he beamed.

"Just always be honest with her. You know Alex, she hates subtly."

"I know. I know. I just don't know what to say. She did say that we would have lunch together, but really didn't set a time. What do I do? Ask her to lunch again? I can't bear for her to say no," Jim stared down at the floor.

"Just give her a couple of days. She needs time to realize that you're the perfect techie for her," Treena laughed.

"Very funny," Jim smiled slightly. He took a deep breath and as he tried to compose his thoughts, he saw that Alex was headed his way. "She's coming this way," he whispered to Treena.

"Jim? I see that you applied for the assistant job," Alex said.

"Yes, I've done it before," he answered nervously.

"Well, how about I do your interview over lunch?" She smiled.

Jim's eyes lit up. "I'd really like that."

"We can also finish our conversation from the other day. I'll come over and get you when I'm ready for lunch," she then headed to Greg's cube.

The other day? Oh, she wants to talk to me about that. I can't believe it. God, I hope it's good.

Treena looked at the smile on Jim's face. "Hey, Lover boy," she laughed.

"What?" he glared at her for interrupting his thoughts.

"We need to give Alex an answer about sharing this cube."

"Oh. Well, do you want me to leave?" he asked.

"No, but we all know that you'll get her assistant job. So, why don't we just tell her that we'll share for now?"

"You just want to get rid of me, don't you?" he teased.

"No, but I know, you'd rather work closer to Alex. I'll go talk to her before I head to lunch," Treena headed toward Alex's office.

A few minutes later, Treena came out, waved to Jim, and headed down the hall. Alex walked out of her office a few seconds later and walked over to Jim. "Are you ready?"

"You bet," he smiled as he noticed her eyes light up when she looked at him. He breathlessly followed her outside. "Where we going?"

"Well, I thought we'd have lunch in the park. It's such a nice day. We can stop and pick up our lunch and bring it to the park, if you don't mind. Besides, I just needed to get away from the office," she said. "You don't mind the walk, do you? I left my car at home today."

"Sounds great to me. There's a nice little sandwich shop across from the park. My brother and I used to eat there all time."

"Then it's settled," Alex and Jim walked for a few blocks to the sandwich place to pick up their lunch. They walked across the street to the park and sat down at a picnic table.

As they ate their lunch, Alex asked Jim all of the interview questions and then she stopped.

"What's wrong?" Jim asked.

"Nothing. I've one last question. Why do you want to become my assistant? There's a lot more work involved than just answering the phones as you do now."

Jim thought for a minute _, now, how do I word this properly?_ Then he answered carefully. "Well, the truth is, I like that kind of work. I like keeping busy. Another truth is, is that I want to work closer with you. I really like you," he paused. _Did I really say that?_

"Why do you like me? I mean, how do you know? You hardly know me," Alex said.

"Can I be totally honest with you?" Here goes nothing.

"I really wish you would. Please go ahead."

Jim tried to muster up the courage to explain. He looked at her. "Alex, I'm attracted to you. I'd like to be able to spend more time with you. You seem like an exciting person. I'm dying to get to know you on a more personal level. Aside from that, though, I think there's so much that you could teach me and show me, I mean, at work. I know there's more that I could be doing at the company and I really want the chance to show that I can do it. I'm not just another pretty face," he smiled. I hope she understands what I'm trying to say to her.

Alex looked back at him. "I–I still have to interview Greg this afternoon," she became quiet for a moment, and looked into his eyes. "I know I shouldn't be asking you this, but would you like to come over tonight? I mean, for dinner, nothing fancy 'cause I really can't cook, but we could just talk over some take out or something."

"I'd love it. But what about—" he started. _I do have to ask about him._

"What about what?"

"Randy. I know that you two, well, that something's going on between you two."

"Jim, are you married?"

"What?"

"Are you married?"

"No."

"Good. I live in Hillcrest apartments, on the third floor, apartment 3-C. Stop by around six. Will you keep this between just us?"

"I'll do that," _A date? A real date?_ I _can't believe it. She asked me on a date. How cool is that?_ They sat in the park a little while in silence and then headed to the office.

Jim sat outside on the bench. _Yes, you'll see, Alex. We were meant to be together. We've reached destiny's final path. The road ahead, we'll follow together. You'll see. You are indeed my angel_.
Next book in the Series:

Written Life's Past Meets Present

It's over five years later where Rewritten Life ended. Alex O'Roark has had her share of problems in the past, but she finally broke when the loss was too much too bear. She is trying to overcome her breakdown. As she tries to move forward, secrets from the past and people from the past show up unexpectedly. Is she strong enough to keep her family? Is she strong enough to hold on to her sanity? Especially, when she finds a long-lost relative who she thought was dead, living here in Sars Springs.

### AMY SHANNON

Author of Suspense, Crime/Police, Family/Romance Dramas/Thrillers.

Email: writeramyshannon@gmail.com

Bio:

Amy Shannon, (1972-Present). American Author. Well, American Storyteller who writes. Grew up and lives in upstate New York to parents Susan and Dennis Shannon. The eldest of five children. Twice divorced, she overcame domestic violence while raising her four sons, Darius, Robert, twins, Louis, and William. She worked at several companies in the technology field, while writing poems and short stories. Her books "Shattered Pages" and "Prowl" delve into the world of crime, profiling, stalking, and murder. Her books focus on women taking control of their lives and empowering themselves, with or without romance.

Amy's MOD Life Epic Saga has been rebranded from the previous "Sars Springs Saga". The new saga does not have individual series, but each volume has a number, and is designated on the cover with the new LOGO.

