 
# Defiant Company

### Book #5 of Company Men

## Crystal Perkins
Copyright © 2017 by Crystal Perkins

Cover Design by Helen Williams

www.allbookedout.com

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### Contents

About Defiant Company

Books by Crystal Perkins

Corrigan & Co. series

Society Girls series

Company Men series

Praise for Books by Crystal Perkins

Things to Know

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Epilogue

Coming Soon

Acknowledgments

About the Author

# About Defiant Company

**S ex. Betrayal. Fear. Courage.**

* * *

Rhys Madison looks like he has everything—money, a killer smile, and women lining up for a place in his bed. But, he doesn't have Vivienne Sloan, the only woman he's ever loved. He has a chance with her now, but after what happened to him last year, he doesn't think she'll ever really want him.

**Responsibility. Truth. Beginnings. Hope.**

* * *

Vivienne Sloan married the wrong man. She's always know it, but she didn't know how to get away. Now that she's free, she has a second-chance with the man she's always love, but he's fighting his demons, and running away. She wants to fight with him, if only he'd give her the chance.

* * *

**F ight. Heal. Live. Love.**

* * *

Rhys stops running, and starts to face his past, but Vivienne isn't sure she can give him another chance to hurt her. With their families and other forces at play against them, they'll need to either come together, or fall apart.

* * *

**F ighting for yourself and who you are is sometimes just as important as fighting for the love of your life. Do they have it in them to do both?**

# Books by Crystal Perkins

### The Griffin Brothers series

Gaming For Love (The Griffin Brothers #1)

Building Our Love (The Griffin Brothers #2)

Creating A Love (The Griffin Brothers #3)

Learning To Love (The Griffin Brothers #4)

Designing The Love (The Griffin Brothers #5)

Working On Love (The Griffin Brothers #6)

Keeping Their Love (The Griffin Brothers #7)

# Corrigan & Co. series

Fielding Her SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #1)

Devouring the SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #2)

Rocking a SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #3)

Lessons in SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #4)

Uncovering His SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #5)

Training the SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #6)

Inheriting a SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #7

Tending Their SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #8)

Playing in SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #9)

Loving My SECRET (Corrigan & Co., #10)

Society Weddings (a Corrigan & Co. novella)

# Society Girls series

Society Girls: Sierra (Society Girls, #1)

Society Girls: Neveah (Society Girls, #2)

Society Girls: Matisse (Society Girls, #3)

Society Girls: Waverly (Society Girls, #4)

Society Girls: Rhieve (Society Girls, #5)

Society Girls: Jenysis (Society Girls, #6)

Society Girls: Harlow (Society Girls, #7)

Society Girls: Camari (Society Girls, #8)

Society Girls: Kalila (Society Girls, #9)

Society Girls: Rose (Society Girls, #10)

# Company Men series

Royal Company (Company Men, #1)

Unexpected Company (Company Men, #2)

Savage Company (Company Men, #3)

Brash Company (Company Men, #4)

### Other Books

A Kiss is Just a Kiss

Activate

Never Fear-Phobias Horror Anthology

Never Fear-Christmas Terrors Anthology

Romantic Times Anthology, Vol. 3

(Gary and Maggie Griffin short story)

Never Fear-The Tarot Anthology

Never Fear-The Apocalypse Anthology

# Praise for Books by Crystal Perkins

"People should be free to love whoever their heart leads them, too. And this author did a great job of presenting a passionate love between 2 people who are seen as different from each other as dictated by society, but this difference wasn't a part of the love they share. Ms. Perkins did an admirable job of dealing with the issue (and other issues) as a non issue, if that makes sense." -DianeM, Amazon Reviewer, _Creating A Love_

* * *

"I love this series!!!!!! Crystal has the amazing ability to bring her characters to life. I laugh with them, I hurt with them, I smile with them, and I cry with them." -Jessica, Amazon reviewer, _The Griffin Brothers series_

* * *

"I love how Crystal makes the characters feel like real people." -Tami, Amazon Reviewer, _Learning To Love_

* * *

"This is a lovely romance story that has a sexy sizzle to it but it's funny as well as it is somewhat edgy. I like that the hero has money but it's not the focal point in this story. I love that the heroine has problems but they are not so insurmountable that they take over the story. This is good old-fashioned romance done with a modern day twist. Well Done." -Kindle Customer, Amazon Reviewer, _Gaming For Love_

* * *

"I found this book on Amazon yesterday and loved the cover. I read the synopsis and knew I had to get it. So I purchased it and started to read it right away. Oh my, I could not put the book down. I got so wrapped up in the story I was afraid to put my Kindle down or I would miss a part." -Amazon Customer, _Gaming For Love_

* * *

"I thought this was a fantastic start to a series, and kind of first book of a series that makes you want to rush out and buy each additional book in the series. The premise of a strong group of women working together to help other women in need was pretty awesome. I loved how C0rrigan & Co was a secret covert company along the same lines as the underground railroad but it saved women from sticky situations or abusive relationships." -Aubrey, Romancing the Book blog, _Fielding Her SECRET_

* * *

"I had so many different emotions while reading. I was rooting people, wanting kick people, wanting to rip some peoples clothes off, laughing while reading, gasping out loud. Seriously, I read this like a crazy person. So much happened that I was not mentally prepared for. There were so many shockers while reading this I could not even think about putting the book down." -Sabrina, Amazon Reviewer, _Devouring the SECRET_

* * *

"Love this book the suspense and sex is EPIC." -Teresa Jensen, Amazon Reviewer, _Rocking a SECRET_

* * *

_"_ Perkins breathes life into their characters and has the reader feeling their agony, pain, and even their love for one-another. I enjoy reading her books and learning more and more about each of the people that make up this secretive group." -Dayreader Reviews, _Corrigan & Co. series_

* * *

"In the end I am somehow proud of you Crystal Perkins. How you portrayed Ellie and her and Aiden love. I know I have no right to be, and it's really not my place to say but I am proud I read it and I recommend it to all women so they can see how strong We can be." -Marta Bukowska, Goodreads Reviewer, _Tending Their SECRET_

* * *

"The story flowed well and kept my attention throughout. There was one part I was totally not expecting to happen. I love when that happens." -Lisa Dess, Girls With Books blog, _Training Her SECRET_

* * *

"Wow this story! There are some stories and characters that leave you speechless, breathless and at times slightly broken, and Loving my SECRET Matt & Reina's story is definitely one of them!" -Vicki Plant, Goodreads Reviewer, _Loving My SECRET_

"I laughed I cried and there many times that I wanted to throw my device." -Mallory, Goodreads Reviewer, _Loving My SECRET_

"Perkins gives the reader a quick peak into the Weddings of the amazing ladies in the society. What a fun roller coaster ride it was." -Taz Lozada, Goodreads Reviewer, _Society Weddings_

"Totally loved this book as I did with all of crystals book previous to this with their well written gripping story lines brilliant characters a must read really can't wait for the next in series." – Sassylady33, Amazon Reviewer, _Society Girls: Sierra_

"It is banter central, lol and completely full with characters who you actually get to know and enjoy spending time with." – All Booked Out, _A Kiss is Just a Kiss_

"Good book and a really powerful message." Petrina, Goodreads Reviewer, _Society Girls: Jenysis_

"If you're looking for a great book, this is the one." Renee, Goodreads Reviewer, _Society Girls: Kalila_

"I love these books!!!! I seem to read them in one sitting I just can't put them down!!!" Rita, Amazon Reviewer

"This is the new series by a brilliant author and still incorporates the characters from her previous series. This book was brilliant, the author always writes about strong characters with a vulnerable side and she delivered once again. This book was one of her more lighthearted ones, but still had the angst I have come to associate with Crystal Perkins." Natasha, Amazon Reviewer, _Royal Company_

# Things to Know

If you haven't read any of the Corrigan & Co. books, you can still read this book. I'm listing some info below that will be helpful to you!

The Society: A secret group of female spies, operating out of the Corrigan & Co. Foundation. It was created by Jane Corrigan, Maggie Griffin, Helen Wilson, Mallory Daniels, and Cyndi Evans. They still make their presence known from time to time, but the Society is now run by Reina Corrigan. She is the wife of Jane's grandson, Matt Corrigan, and someone not to be trifled with. Their story, _Loving My SECRET_ , is the only book I don't recommend reading without having read the others.

The male characters in Company Men are all brothers, or friends, of the spies. Most of the women in the books will not know of their existence, since those who work for Corrigan & Co. have no idea what the beautiful women of the Foundation really do. Some are in awe of them, and some resent how they seem to come and go, and do whatever they want.

Corrigan & Co.: Matthew Corrigan runs this public side of the company. One of the most powerful men in the world, he's ruthless in business, and would do anything to protect his wife, and their friends. His brother, Miles, works alongside him, running the Acquisitions department, and doing what he can to help the Society women. His wife, Alex, runs the front desk at the Foundation. Their love story was in the book, _Working on Love_ , which is always free in ebook format, on all platforms, as it connects my first two series, and also gives more insight into Matt and Reina's story.

The Studkateers are what the men connected to the Society (including the Griffin brothers) call themselves. They have a strong friendship with each other, they're hot, and I love The Three Musketeers, so why not?

Rhys is the brother of Rhieve, from Society Girls: Rhieve. In her book, he was lured out of a sex club, and kidnapped as revenge against the man Rhieve loves, Calum. He was eventually rescued, but he hasn't dealt with what was done to him while he was taken.

Nate and Jade are a big part of this book. Their book, Training the SECRET explains what happened to him as teenager. This is one I really don't want to spoil, but you can message or email me for more info!

Confused? You can always message or email me if you need clarification on something!
**_For everyone who's ever been forced to live a life they didn't want._**

# Prologue

Rhys

I watch her because I can. Because I have to. There is nowhere else I could look with her in the room. It sounds creepy, but it's not. Really. I've been captivated by her since I was thirteen, and there's never been another woman who could compare to her. That's just the way it is.

We grew up as best friends, and then we both felt more. Sneaking around made it exciting, but she's what made it magnificent. It was the best time of my life, and then it was the worst. I lost her, and if I'm being honest, I also lost myself.

She glides across the dance floor in the arms of her husband, both of them the picture of wealth and sophistication. I'm supposedly an example of that same kind of picture, but if the people in this room saw beneath the mask, they'd be horrified. Even more than they were when my "perfect" sister, Rhieve, got together with Calum. Calum could buy and sell most of the people in this room, but he fell from grace long ago, and never cared about getting back up.

I wish I could say the same about myself, but whether I want to or not, I care what these people in this room think of me. Most importantly, I care what that woman dancing with her husband thinks of me. I was warned to stay away from her years ago, and even if she wasn't married, she wouldn't want me now. What self-respecting woman would if she knew what had happened to me last year? Being kidnapped by a pair of women from a sex club, and offered as a plaything to any woman who wanted me doesn't exactly scream "class and sophistication". There were a few men, too, but since I don't swing that way, I've worked hard to block them out. I screamed a few times, if I'm being honest, and most of the women in this room would run from me if they knew what I've had done to me. Including Vivienne.

Especially Vivienne. My next-door neighbor. The first—and only—girl I was ever in love with. The girl I was repeatedly told to stay away from, because there were plans for her. The woman who married one of the most powerful men in this room five years ago. The woman I can't take my eyes off, even now. She'd never accept what I've become, even if it was her who drove me into the beds and dungeons of other women. Even if she knew I still thought of her while I came inside of them. No, she'd never choose me, even if she could.

So, I watch her from afar at parties like this, keeping a smirk on my face and knowing she'll never look my way. Knowing socialites will try to keep my attention, and fail. Knowing I can never have the only thing I've wanted since I was thirteen. The only _woman_ I've wanted. I'll watch, and hope that one day I'll be wrong and she will look my way, just like she did all those years ago.

Vivienne

I know Rhys is here. I can sense him, even though I would never dare look at him. Christon would destroy him, if he even thought I still cared. Oh, how I care, and hope, but he's not mine to covet. The day he walked away from me, I lost more than just my heart; I lost my will to care about how I live my life, which is how I ended up here, on this dance floor, with a man I hate.

My husband, whose ridiculous name caused him to be bullied most of his life, now enjoys nothing more than bullying me. He won't touch me—in any way—but he knows how to hurt. In fact, he knows his not touching me hurts me the worst, because I want a houseful of children. It's why he won't have sex with me any longer. His needs are met elsewhere while I cry myself to sleep.

"Your smile has slipped, Vivienne. Pull yourself together. We both know you're nothing more than your looks, and you need to be looking like nothing makes you happier than me. The fact that you can't even manage this one small thing just proves how stupid you are."

The words barely sting, because he says much worse to me on a daily basis, but as I allow myself to look out over the crowd, I feel a spark of that hope I'd thought I'd lost forever.

"Matt and Reina Corrigan just walked in."

He immediately whips his head around, until he spots them. "Let's go."

I knew he couldn't resist the chance to try and impress the most influential couple in the world. Social climbing is an art I've never had the inclination to master, but my husband has no shame in his game. He _thinks_ they'll elevate him to the top, but I know they hate him almost as much as I do.

"Hello," Reina says as we approach, her smile tight.

"Good to see you, Matt," Christon says, ignoring her in favor of her husband. It's the wrong thing to do, but he doesn't see it.

"Vivienne, it's wonderful to see you," Matt tells me, ignoring my husband. I know I'll pay for that later, and I just can't do it anymore.

As Reina leans in for the obligatory air kiss, I take the only chance I have. "Please help me," I whisper.

Anyone watching wouldn't notice her stiffen, but I do. There's no hesitation in her actions, as she moves to the other side of me, but her hands tighten on my shoulders. The Corrigan & Co. Foundation she runs helps women, and no matter what happens, I know she's going to help me. I'm betting my life on it.

# Chapter 1

### One Month Later

### Rhys

My sister has been trying to get me to take a job at Corrigan & Co. ever since rescuing me in Norwich last year. Despite the fact that I have a place waiting for me at our family's company, she's wanted me here with her. Not exactly with her, because I'm not a female spy, but working in the same building. I don't know if it's just because she wants to keep an eye on me, or if she wants me away from our family, but right now it doesn't matter.

I'm here for answers, and I'm not going to give up on getting them. One month ago, Vivienne disappeared, and rumor has it, she was last seen with Reina Corrigan. The talk of the town is that she not only got a restraining order against her husband, but she's divorced him as well. Or rather, she's trying to divorce him. The bastard's fighting her—and looking for her too.

That's where I come in, but not really. My parents tried to pressure Rhieve for info, but she wouldn't break. When they called me I pretended to go along, but I'm here for me, and not them. No way in hell am I going to tell them where Vivienne is when I find her. I _will_ find her, and ask her to tell me what Christon did to her, and then I'm going to kill him. Whatever he did to make her run and hide has to be bad, and for that, he's going to pay.

"Rhys," my sister says, running past the security desk to hug me. "I'm so glad you're finally here."

"So am I."

"You're going to love working with X. I mean, he's a little quirky and rude sometimes, but you've been working with computer guys long enough to know how to deal with that."

"Yeah. Some guys are just more comfortable with a keyboard than a human, but there's nothing wrong with that."

Xavier James is arguably the best hacker and programmer on this planet. He came out of his own hiding to work here, and I can almost guarantee he's helping to hide Vivienne—and other people the C&C Foundation, and the Society protect. The foundation does it publicly, while the Society is the secret part of this place; the place spies, like Rhieve, inhabit. Yep, my sister's a spy, and she loves every second of it. But she loves me more, and I'm going to get her to tell me what I need to know.

"Where is she?" I ask, as we get on one of the elevators.

"Who?" she counters, looking straight ahead.

"You know who. Vivienne."

"I have no idea where she is."

She turns to face me as she says it, and I see the truth in her eyes. She doesn't know, but she knows who does.

"Who hid her?"

"I thought you were here because you wanted to finally get away from them, but you're here for our parents."

"No, I'm here for me. You know what she meant to me back then. Hell, you helped us sneak out together more than once."

She sighs. "A long time ago, I thought you'd be the one she'd marry."

"So did I."

"I wish she had."

"Please, Rhieve. I have to know she's okay."

"I honestly don't know if she is. I don't know anything."

"I'm going to find out on my own then."

"Rhys," she implores, putting a hand on my forearm. "No."

"I love her. I've always loved her, and I need to know she's safe. That's all."

"You cannot poke around here to try and find out information. X will be watching you, and Reina won't be forgiving if either of them catch you."

"It's a risk I'll have to take."

She looks up, and I know she's looking towards a camera I can't see. I don't care if whoever's watching knows. I don't care if X and Reina know. All I care about is Vivienne. I wasn't man enough once to fight for what I wanted, but now I am—I have to be, because I think she needs it even more this time.

### Viv

"Order up, Viv."

I drop my order pad into my apron, and walk over to grab the food. Three weeks ago, I could barely walk after a long day of waitressing, but now I'm used to it. Spinning classes and yoga can't prepare you for being on your feet all day and I've gained a new appreciation for those in the service industry, while hiding out in this small town.

Gone are my blonde hair, blue eyes, pearls, and designer clothes. They've been replaced by brown hair with caramel highlights, green contacts, cutoff jean shorts, and tank tops. Oh, and let's not forget the tennis shoes on my feet, which are definitely not of the designer variety. I love it all, and wish I'd been strong enough to break free long before I did.

I knew Reina would help me, but I had no clue how fast things would move, or how thoroughly her organization would hide me. After excusing ourselves to use the Ladies Room at the gala, I was whisked out a side door and to the C&C building. There, Stella, who's a famous stylist and married to a rock star, met me and gave me my makeover. By the time we'd picked out a new wardrobe for me, I had a new driver's license and credit cards in the name we'd chosen. Viveca Moore is far enough from Vivienne Sloan, and they knew I needed something I could answer to, so that's who I am now.

Once the new look and identity were created, Ainsley Martin and Xavier James met with me to go over a backstory, and job history. I'd never seen hackers in action before, and while I don't understand what they were doing, I all of a sudden had a credit history, job history, and an education I never completed. I felt a small pang of loss over not being an Ivy League grad any longer, but not enough to override the relief at getting my freedom.

From there, I was taken down into an underground garage, and transported to a safe house. It was small and sparse, but no one found me, and that was more important than having a fancy couch. We let a few days pass before I was brought one town over from here, and given the keys to an old pickup truck by X himself. I know I owe him so much, and I don't know that I'll ever see him again. But again, my freedom is worth more than anything else right now.

"Here you go," I say, setting the plates on the table in front of some regulars at the diner. I hear the bell on the door, and turn to tell whoever it is that I'll be right with them. The words die in my throat as I lock eyes with Calum Benson. He shouldn't be here.

I grab the coffee pot as he takes a seat in one of the booths lining the windows. "Thanks," he tells me, as I pour him a cup.

"What's wrong?" I ask, because I know it's no coincidence for him to be here.

"The Eclipse."

"What about it?" I know it's passing through here, but so what?

"Some scientist mentioned this town as one of the best places to see it, and the world is listening. This town is going to be filled with media in a few days."

My heart sinks as I realize what that means. "And this is the only diner in town."

"Yeah."

"When do I have to leave?"

"As soon as your shift is up. I'm going to stay here with you, and Camari's at your place, packing everything up."

"Camari?"

"She's part of the Foundation."

"I know who she is, but why isn't it Rhieve here with you?"

He looks away, and I know the answer before he says it. "They're watching her. She could slip away, but that would only make them look harder at her."

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. We're both happy to have you safe, but there is one other thing you need to know. Rhys has taken a job with X at C&C. He swears he's there because he's worried about you, and not because his parents sent him."

"I want to believe that."

"So does Rhieve, but she didn't tell him anything."

I nod. "I'll think about what to do. In the meantime, I need to get back to my customers, and tell my boss I'm quitting. Do you want something to eat?"

"A slice of pie would be great."

"You got it."

I walk away, trying to process what's happening. I have to go somewhere. I don't know where yet, but I don't doubt I'll be safe. What I doubt is Rhys really being at C&C for me.

He was the first boy I ever loved, and we were so happy together, until we weren't. I once believed he was on my side, but he proved he wasn't, and I don't know if I could survive a second betrayal from him.

# Chapter 2

### Rhys

"Where's X?" I ask Seriyah, his right-hand woman.

"He had a last-minute trip he needed to take. Is there something I can help you with?"

A few months ago, I would've asked the exotic beauty for a few different things, but all I can focus on now is Vivienne. Besides, there's no missing the hungry and possessive look X gets on his face when he looks at her. There's only one woman I'm willing to fight him over, and while Seri's great, she's not her.

"I finished all the work he gave me, and I'm not sure what he'd like for me to do next."

She looks at her computer screen, and closes her eyes. We both know what he gave me was grunt work, and far beneath my skill level. I may have appeared to have been living off my inheritance for years, but in reality I was taking online classes and learning everything I could about computers. Not because I had to, but because I _wanted_ to. My mind understands computers and codes. I don't know why, but that's just the way it is.

"I don't know what I'm allowed to assign you, Rhys. There are projects we need done, but I can't give them to you."

"Can you call him?"

She shakes her head. "He's unreachable at the moment."

"Come on," I say, letting my frustration show.

"The good news is you can go home early today."

"At ten in the morning?"

"I'd apologize, but it's not my fault."

"I know it's not, but you have to admit this is all fucked-up."

"If he checks in, I'll ask him if I can assign something else to you."

"Thanks. I'm just going to go up, and bug my sister."

"Good plan."

She would say that. Seriyah doesn't know about the Society, which completely shocked me when I realized it. She's around them all the time, and she's best friends with Camari's boyfriend, Lennon, but she thinks they're just a foundation with unlimited resources. They are—but they're so much more.

She may not be aware of them, but there's no way X isn't, and I can't wait to see the fallout if she ever realizes how much he's keeping from her. Not my problem, though. A week into this new job, and _my_ problem is no closer to being solved. Vivienne is still missing, and my anxiety is getting higher and higher every day.

"Hey Alex," I say, walking into the lobby of the C&C Foundation.

"Hi, Rhys. Was someone expecting you today?"

"No, but I was hoping to hang out with my sister."

"Hang out?" she asks, quirking an eyebrow. "You know better than to think we do nothing all day."

"Shit. Yeah, I know but since apparently, _I'm_ expected to do nothing, I thought I'd see if I could keep her company."

"You don't have any work to do?" Reina asks, walking out into the lobby.

"Let's not bullshit each other, Reina. You and I both know why X is giving me no access to anything."

"Give me one good reason I should trust you after your immature behavior in the past, and the agenda you walked into this building with?"

"You see only what you want to see, just like everyone else."

"I see what you want us all to see."

"We all do what we have to survive, Reina."

"Yes, but I also do what I have to do to make sure others survive. Or do you not remember that?"

"How could I forget when you're so eloquently throwing it in my face. I _know_ I'm less than you. Believe me, I know."

Her face softens. "I did not say that, Rhys."

"You didn't have to."

I turn to the elevators, and start stabbing the down button, because I need to get out of here. Out of this lobby, out of this building, maybe even out of this city. I was stupid to think I could overcome my past.

"Rhys," Reina says, putting her hand on my shoulder.

"I'm leaving Reina. Just let me leave."

"She's safe."

I whip my head around to look at her. "Thank you."

The elevator opens for me, and I step in. I have so many questions I know won't be answered, so I have to accept what she told me, and allow it to be enough. Vivienne is safe, and that's all that matters right now. It's everything.

### Viv

Moving me back to Vegas went a lot faster than moving me away. I'm not in Vegas proper, though. Instead I'm inside the compound X created for himself near the mountains. There are houses nearby, but he's assured me no one can see in, even where there's open sky. I'm not afraid of an air attack, but I've still stayed inside over the last couple of days.

It's just me, X, and his little boy here. Micah is almost three, and just adorable. I'm acting as his nanny, but he keeps asking for "Seri" and I don't know who that is. When I've mentioned it to X, he's waved me off and told me not to worry about it.

"How did you sleep last night?" he asks, when I walk into the kitchen.

"I slept well."

He nods, and gives me a half-smile. "I have some news you're not going to like."

"What is it?" I ask, gripping the coffee cup I'd picked up tightly in my hand.

"Christon found a judge who is demanding you be present for mediation with him."

"No!"

"I'm sorry, but yes. Stella has a wig for you, and you'll have to take your contacts out for the day, and throw some designer clothes back on, but you'll be okay. You have no choice, but to go."

"And if I don't?"

"You won't be divorced," he says, cupping my face in his hands. "I want you to be divorced, so I can kiss you."

I want him to kiss me too, if only so I'll know I'm still wanted. Being wanted by this hot, sexy, nerdy man who at least half the women in the world want isn't a bad thing at all. I _need_ that, even though I don't really want him in that way. He helped saved me, but I'm not romanticizing that. I just want a divorce, and safety. But, a kiss wouldn't be so bad.

"Isn't it enough that I've filed?"

"Is it enough for you?" he asks, moving his face lower.

"Yes."

Our lips meet, and I feel...nothing. Nothing at all. I'm not sure I really expected to, but it's a little disappointing anyway.

"That was not what I expected," he tells me.

"Yeah, let's not do that again."

"Glad you agree. Friends?"

"Friends."

"Daddy, can I have breakfast?"

We both turn to see Micah standing in the doorway, looking confused. "Sure, little man. Seri will be here soon, but I can get you some cereal."

"Seri's coming?" the little boy asks, his eyes lighting up.

"Yep."

"You know he keeps asking for her. I don't know who she is, since you've been blowing me off whenever I asked about her."

"She's my assistant. She used to babysit him for me sometimes, too."

"Before I came here, and took that away from them."

"It's not like that."

"It's exactly like that."

"It's really not a big deal, Viv."

"Seri!" Micah yells, stopping the face-off I'm not sure I would've won, but wasn't going to back down from.

"Hey! How's my favorite man?"

The woman who walks into the kitchen is stunning. She has olive skin, slightly slanted brown eyes, jet black hair, and a body that curves in all the right places. I've never been into women, but she makes me reconsider my life choices. Especially when I see the obvious love between her and Micah.

Turning, I see I'm not the only one affected by her. X is looking at her like she's his salvation, and I know now why our kiss meant nothing to him. He loves her.

"Hi, I'm Viv," I say, moving over to her with my hand held out.

She stands, and shakes it. "Seriyah. You must be my replacement."

"Seri," X says, a warning in his tone.

"Xavier," she responds, the ice in her eyes and voice sharp enough to cut.

"I missed you!" Micah tells her, cutting the tension.

"I missed you too. Do you want pancakes?"

"Yes, please."

"We need to go, Viv. Thanks for coming over Seri."

X strides from the room, as we both look after him. I'm in shock that he just walked out, but Seriyah just shakes her head. "We're not exactly getting along right now, but I won't lie and say he's easy to be around all the time."

"Oh. He's always nice with me."

"Lucky you," she says, looking away from me, and I know I've said the wrong thing.

"It's because he's helping me."

"Sure. You should get going. He hates to be kept waiting for anything."

I want to say more to her because I see that she's hurt, but I don't know what to say. Vivienne always knew what to say, but Viv is struggling here. Maybe I'm not cut out for a new identity after all. I simply squeeze her shoulder as I walk out, not sure I'm ready to do what I'm about to do, but knowing I really don't have a choice.

# Chapter 3

### Vivienne

I walk into the conference room alone. Well, not completely alone, but without the people who've been supporting me since I left my old life. Reina and X can't be seen with me yet, so it's just the lawyer they arranged for me, as well as a bodyguard. I know I'm safe but I'm shaking inside.

"Thank God!" Christon shouts, running toward me.

I have a moment of fear, before my guard steps in front of me. "The restraining order is still in effect."

"It was a mistake."

"It wasn't," I say, finding the courage I need right now.

"You're overreacting, Vivienne. Come home where you belong."

"I don't belong there. Sign the papers, Christon."

His face hardens at my order. "You do not tell me what to do. _I_ am in charge."

"Not of me. Not any longer."

"You _will_ do as I say," he tells me, leaning in as far as my bodyguard will allow.

My lawyer moves to stand next to the bodyguard. "And that right there illustrates why the court needs to grant my client her divorce."

Christon realizes what he's done, but as he looks around, he knows he's lost. "She's not getting a dime."

"I don't want one."

"It would be best for you to just sign," his lawyer tells him. The man has always come across as smarmy, but right now he knows he's lost, so he's seeming more human.

"Fine. I should be glad to be rid of her anyway."

I manage to keep myself looking aloof as we take our seats at the table, but I'm mentally sighing in relief. This is all going to be over and I can finally live my life the way I want to. I force my hand steady as I sign papers saying I don't want alimony, or anything else, and then it's over. Christon and his lawyer walk out, followed by the mediator, and I finally slump down in my seat.

"It's over."

"Vivienne!"

I sit right back up, as I recognize my mother's voice. I barely have time to slip the blank look back onto my face before she descends on me. My father stands back, with a disapproving look on his own face, as she cries like it's been years since I've seen her.

"What are you doing here?" I ask her.

"You've been missing for all this time, and you had some crazy idea about divorcing Christon! Of course, I'm here."

"I wasn't missing, I was getting out of a marriage I should've never been in."

"You listen here, young lady, you will make things right with Christon! He looked angry when he passed us in the hall!"

"Sorry, Dad, but we've both signed the divorce papers."

"Why must you always ruin everything! Your dalliance with the Madison boy almost cost me this deal, and now you've divorced the man I needed you to marry? If he cuts ties with my company, there will be hell to pay!"

Naturally, it's all about him. I stand up, letting that sigh I held back earlier escape. "I'm broke, so someone else will have to pay. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to work."

"Work? Where do you work?" my mother asks.

"Nowhere you'd approve of."

With that, I do what X did this morning, and walk out without a glance backward. Earlier, I thought he was being rude—and he was—but now I understand how empowering it can feel. Just walking away from the people who it hurts too much to be around, can be cathartic.

The ride home is uneventful, other than me removing my wig. I leave the contacts out, because I like my blue eyes, while preferring the brown hair I've adopted to my natural blonde.

When I get back to the compound, I'm surprised to find X instead of Seri playing with Micah in the living room. "Where's Seri?"

"She had some emergency come up. How did it go?"

"As well as could be expected, along with a surprise attack from my parents."

"Are you okay?"

"I am."

His phone rings before we can talk any further, and he furrows his brow as he answers. "What's up, Matt?"

"What the hell did you do to Seri?" Matt's booming voice comes through, loud and clear, even though the phone is against X's ear.

"I didn't do anything to her! She said she had to leave early from babysitting, so I came back home. She seemed a little upset when she left, but I figured that had to do with the emergency," he replies, pulling the phone a few inches away from him.

"Well, she just quit!"

"No. She can't quit! She wouldn't!"

"She just did, you bastard! I've warned you more times than I can count not to mess with her, and you just wouldn't listen!"

"I don't know what's going on, but she needs to man up, and call me herself!"

"I'd rather _woman_ up, and talk to you in person."

X jumps to his feet and drops his phone, as I turn to look at Seriyah. It's obvious she's been crying. "Seri, what is going on? Matt said you quit, but you wouldn't do that."

"I can't work for you any longer."

"Why? What happened?"

She just shakes her head, and looks away, tears rolling down her cheeks. Micah runs to her, and puts his arms around her legs.

"Daddy won't kiss Viv again. I promise."

My mouth falls open, and I see X freeze, then shudder, as though he's been hit by a bullet. "Seri," he whispers, his voice hoarse, and full of pain.

She leans down to talk to Micah. "Go to your room, little man. I'll come talk to you before I leave."

"Promise?" he asks, and she nods.

It's not until he's gone that she turns to face X. The pain on her face is gut-wrenching to even look at, but I can't force myself to turn away.

"I've watched you parade every woman under the sun past me. I've sent out your gifts and flowers, made your reservations, and I've walked in on you making out with them in your office. But, you've never brought one into this house. You've never taken Micah from me before, to give to one of them."

"Baby, no. It's not like that."

"I am not your 'baby'. I'm just the woman who was stupid enough to fall in love with her boss, even when I knew it would go nowhere. I barely survived all those women, and I can't survive _her_. I can't watch it happen. I can't watch you have another woman for more than sex. I can't, and I won't."

"Nothing's going on between us," I say, finally finding my voice.

"You didn't kiss?"

"We did, but it didn't mean anything."

"I don't want the details."

"What if I told you I love you too?" X asks, looking like he's going to pass out.

"I wouldn't believe you."

She turns and walks out, going down the hall to see Micah. I step toward X, but he waves me off. "Leave this room, Viv. I don't want to scare you, so you need to walk out now."

I can tell he means it, so I hurry from the room. As I reach my door, I hear the sounds of glass breaking, and wood splintering. I have a feeling he would take this whole place to the ground if his son and the woman he loves weren't still within its walls. Who knew one stupid kiss could end up causing so much pain?

### Rhys

I'm just hanging out around the office once again, literally twiddling my thumbs. X came in briefly, and threw some basic stuff my way, but he's been gone for a few hours now, and Seriyah's nowhere to be found, either. I don't even know why the fuck I'm still here; it's not like I've gotten any information on Vivienne. It's just a waste of time at this point, but I know the bastard wants me to quit, and that's not going to happen.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Seriyah barreling through the floor toward her desk, a box in her hand. As she starts throwing things in the box, I jump up from my seat, and rush over.

"What are you doing?"

"Quitting," she says, looking up at me with red eyes, and tear-stained cheeks.

"Why?"

She shakes her head. "Why not? Everyone's going to know soon enough. X found himself a girlfriend. Someone he's let into his house, and around his son. That means it's serious."

"Wow. I always thought you two were going to get together."

"Yeah, well we were both wrong."

"Who's this woman?"

"I don't know. Her name's Viv, and she's classy, and gorgeous, and the perfect person to be on his arm at all the damn events he gets invited to."

What? "Wait, her name's Viv? Does she have blond hair and blue eyes?"

"Brown hair, and green eyes. No, wait, when I saw her right now, they were blue."

"She was in disguise."

"Huh?"

"I know her. We were friends once. No one's seen her for over a month."

"That's why you're here, isn't it? And it's why he won't let you do anything."

"Yeah."

"She's at the compound. Here's the address."

She writes it down, and hands me the paper. "Thank you. Are you going to be okay?"

"No, but I'll make it through every day, because I won't let that man completely break me."

"He's an idiot."

"Thanks for saying that."

"Do you have a job lined up?"

"Matt's insisting on sending me somewhere, but I'm afraid X will find me, so I'll probably just go completely off the grid. I've met enough people through him to do it, and I have a lot of money in savings, because of how much he paid me."

"Make sure you keep my number, and call if you need anything. I know we're not really friends, but I care."

"Thanks, Rhys. I appreciate it."

There's nothing more for either of us to say, so I clock out, shut my company laptop down, and leave the building. I'm angry and hurt about Vivienne being with X, but I still need to see that she's okay. I'll see her and then I'll move one, because while I never considered Christon my equal, X is so far above me, I can't even see his pedestal.

I'm expecting the gate, but I'm not expecting it to open so easily for me when I hit the buzzer. After all this time, and all of the hiding, I thought the guards would come out and tell me to go away. I'm not going to dwell on it right now, but it's definitely weird.

It gets even weirder when X stumbles out of the main house, a bottle of whiskey in his hand. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I'm here to see Vivienne."

"Who?" he asks, smirking as he tips the half-empty bottle back, taking down a long swallow.

"I know she's here."

"You don't know jack shit."

I hold out the paper Seriyah gave me. "Recognize the handwriting?"

He swings at me before I even know his fist is coming, my head snapping back on contact. "You little piece of shit!"

He hits me again, and as I fall, he goes to the ground with me. I try to protect myself, but although I work out, I've always been more of a lover than a fighter. I manage to protect my face, so he hits lower.

"Stop! X! What are you doing?"

I've never been the kind of guy who's ashamed of a girl saving him, but having Vivienne see me like this, embarrasses me enough to get up, and limp to my car when X gets off me. It's not the first time I've been beaten for her, but she doesn't know about the last time, and she didn't see the aftermath. I'm mortified to have her witness this.

"Yeah, go on like the little bitch you are," X slurs at me. "You have no clue about protecting a woman. You're just a prissy little rich boy."

"Shut. Up. Now." Viv looks angrier than I've ever seen her, but she'll go back to him when I leave.

"He's right. I could never protect either of us."

She's at my side by the time I get my car door open. "Let me clean you up, Rhys."

"I only came here to make sure you were really safe. That's all," I say, looking down, because I can't face her.

"I know."

"They all think I was here for my parents—or yours—or for that asshole, but I'd die before telling them. I don't know what he did to you, but it was bad enough for you to run, and I'm going to kill him for it."

"No. He's not worth it. I'm free from him now, and that's enough."

"Are you happy with him?"

"Him? You mean X? I'm not with him."

"That's not what Seriyah told me."

"Don't you dare speak her name," X growls from behind me.

Vivienne rolls her eyes at him. "Just go inside before you embarrass yourself further."

"Me? I don't have a scratch on me," he reminds her with a laugh.

"Which is precisely why you should be embarrassed. You're drunk, and hurt because Seri left. Taking it out on Rhys was an asshole move, and when you sober up, you're going to realize it."

"Whatever."

I've still got my head down, so I'm not sure if he's listening, but then sirens start sounding. A lot of sirens. I don't know what they're for, but Vivienne grabs my arm, and starts pulling me toward the house.

"What's going on?"

"The compound has been breached. We have to get inside!"

I run as fast as my battered body will take me, leaning on the wall once we get inside. Vivienne uses her handprint to make walls come down in front of the windows and doors.

"Whoa."

"Come on, we have to get downstairs to the basement."

I follow her through a destroyed living room to a secret door she opens once again with her handprint. X is already down here with his son, and some guards. There is one SUV, but I don't know where it could possibly go. Wherever it is, I know it's not on any blueprint anywhere, and I thank God for that. We might just make it out of here alive.

# Chapter 4

### Viv

"How are you doing?" I ask Rhys, as I clean up his wounds in one of the bedrooms on the C&C jet we're traveling on.

"We were almost attacked at your boyfriend's house, rode under Las Vegas in a secret labyrinth of tunnels, and now we're on a private jet to places unknown. I'm just peachy."

I ignore the boyfriend remark, because it's not relevant. "We're going to Cardiff. Reina and Matt have a place there, and no one will expect us to be there."

"I might've lead them right to you," he says, swallowing hard.

"We don't know who they were, or who they were after."

"I'm sure your boyfriend doesn't believe that."

Now, I'm just getting mad because he didn't care when I was married, so why is getting jealous now? "I love how you're jealous of X, but you didn't care about me being married to Christon."

"I was jealous of that fucker every second of every day, but he wasn't worthy of you."

"You think X is?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Why?"

"He's a genius, he's good to his kid, he's good-looking, and he knows how to fight."

"Why is fighting so important to you?"

"Because I can't. I couldn't when I needed to, and instead of learning how after, I stayed away from anything that could hurt me."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing," he tells me, shaking his head. "Thanks for helping me, but I need to get in the shower."

He pulls his shirt over his head as he backs away, and I barely stop myself from moaning as I take him in. He may not be a fighter, but he's got sexy, lean muscles, and I want to touch them. I want to lick his abs, and take his thick cock inside of me. I haven't felt this way toward a man in years, because it's always been him I wanted—and could never have,

"You've seen it all before, Vivs," he reminds me, dropping his jeans, as I shamelessly watch.

I'm still watching when he turns, and walks into the bathroom. I'll admit to staring at his perfect ass, but I know he had a smirk on his face. Even the knowledge of him being a bit of an asshole doesn't stop me from thinking about joining him in that shower. I'm gripping the bed tightly when the knock at the door comes.

I get up to open it, finding X on the other side. He's got his shirt off too, but his broad shoulders, and muscles do nothing for me. I don't mind looking at them, and I can appreciate how hot he is, but they're not what me and my body want right now.

"Am I interrupting something?" he asks, looking over my shoulder.

I know he's seeing Rhys' clothes on the floor, but I'm not taking the bait. "He's in the shower, trying to clean up after what you did."

"And he chose to undress in front of you? Interesting."

"None of your business."

"No, it's not. I'm going to apologize to him."

"Okay."

"Those alarms going off sobered me up, and I'm sorry I lost it. Both in the house, and when he came to find you."

"I know Seri leaving hurt you, but breaking things and acting like an ass is kind of what made that happen."

"I know, and it wasn't her leaving that did me in. I hate that she left, but to have her think I'm lying about being in love with her—if I didn't have Micah, I wouldn't have survived that. I had to think about him to make myself stop."

"I figured as much, and FYI, you didn't tell her. You asked her a 'what if' question, but you never came out and told her."

"Would it have made a difference?"

I shrug. "I'm not her, so I don't know."

"I've sent guards to watch her too, because the people who broke in got away."

"I'm just glad we're safe."

"Rhieve and some of the others will be meeting us at the house in Cardiff."

"Won't that put them in danger?"

"Yeah, um, about that. I was coming to get you so you could call Reina. She needs to tell you some things."

"That doesn't sound ominous at all."

"Just call her," he says, handing me a phone. "This phone is untraceable, and only calls her."

I take the phone, and call her like he asked me to. I'm not prepared for what she tells me. I knew she had a lot of connections, and was able to hide me, but I had no idea just how far it all went. A secret society of female spies? Who would ever think that was a thing? I'm questioning everything I've ever known when the call is over.

"Are you okay?" Rhys asks, a towel around his waist and water dripping down his chest as he steps back into the bedroom.

Too bad I'm too freaked out to appreciate how hot he looks. "Did you know?"

"Know what?"

"About the Society?"

His eyes widen, but he nods. "Yeah, I knew."

"It doesn't freak you out that your sister's a spy?"

"At first, a little. But it's cool as fuck."

"I guess it is. I'm still trying to process it all."

"Understood. Do you want to cuddle?"

Is he serious right now? "Cuddle?"

"Yeah." I guess he is.

"No. I'm just going to sleep on one of the couches."

"Not a chance. I'll sleep on one of them while you take the bed."

I see the bruises forming on his ribs and chest, and it makes me want to punch X. I know he's sorry, but I'm still pissed off.

"Let's eat, and then we can figure out the sleeping arrangements."

### Rhys

I know I'm on borrowed time as I throw my jeans and shirt back on, and follow Vivienne out of the bedroom. She knows about Rhieve and it's only a matter of time before she finds out about the rest of it. All of my dirty laundry, from when I wasn't wearing any clothes, is going to be revealed to her. And then she'll never look at me with that hunger in her eyes again.

"I wanted to apologize," X says, standing up as soon as he sees me. "For what I did, and for what I said. It was fucked up and completely out of line."

"I get it. I don't love what you did or said, but we're good."

"Thanks. I didn't know what you wanted to eat, so I just got you a burger. There's pasta for you, Viv."

It irks me that he knows what she likes now, and I'd have no clue, but I try not to let it show. I eat my burger, helping the flight attendant clear our plates.

"Goodnight everyone," I say, taking the pillow and blanket I asked for, and heading for a couch up front.

"Wait, I thought we decided this already. I'll take the couch," Vivienne tells me.

"I told you I wasn't letting you sleep on the couch."

"I'm going to take this as my cue to leave," X says, picking Micah up into his arms. I see a smile on his face for the first time today, as he walks toward the other bedroom.

Vivienne waits until he leaves before pulling the pillow and blanket from my arms. She sets them on the seat next to her, and takes my hand. "Let's go to sleep. Just sleep tonight."

"Okay." I'll take what I can get, although I know it will never be enough with her.

I walk back into the bedroom behind her, and pull back the comforter. "What are you doing?" she asks.

"I wasn't sure if you'd be okay with me taking some of my clothes off."

"As you so eloquently stated earlier, I've seen it all before."

"I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry."

"We were each other's firsts. It's nothing to be ashamed of. You were so sweet to me," she reminds me, coming over to take my face in her hands. "Taking care of me after, and just making me feel cared about."

"Loved. You should've felt loved."

She closes her eyes. "I did. And then, later, I didn't."

There's so much she doesn't know, but it won't change anything. I did what I had to do, and in truth I'd probably do it again, even knowing she'd be mistreated. She survived whatever happened to her, and she's alive. That's everything to me.

"You were always loved."

"Then why?"

"It doesn't matter now."

She pulls away from me. "Maybe not to you, but never mind. Let's go to bed."

There I go, pissing her off again. It's probably for the best. Cut the ties again, and move on, just like I planned when I went to that compound earlier today. Nothing's worked out the way I planned it so far, but then again, it never really has for me. It's why I've stopped hoping for everything, including the woman I'm going to sleep in the same bed with tonight. _Especially_ her.

# Chapter 5

### Viv

Rhieve is indeed at the house in Cardiff when we arrive there. Someone from the American Embassy met us at Customs with new passports, but it took us a little longer than everyone else to get through. Stella and Faith are with her, making me feel even more secure. From what I've learned, they've been part of the Society for years and helped mentor the new wave of women, including Rhieve.

"Welcome to your temporary home," Rhieve says, giving me a hug.

As someone used to mansions, the size of this home isn't impressive to me, but I love the charm of it. The outside of the house is quintessentially British, with a winding driveway past the gates and lots of topiaries. But inside, it's all modern. I get a glimpse of a pool, various decks, and a large green lawn before I'm led upstairs to my room.

"This is beautiful," I say, taking in the four-poster bed, window seat, and large chaise lounge.

"X seems to think you'll be sharing with Rhys."

"X is wrong."

"There are plenty of rooms, but I was hoping he was right."

"That ship sailed long ago. You should know that."

"I really wish he hadn't gotten mugged on the way to your birthday party. It was such bad luck that it happened that night."

"Mugged? What are you talking about?" I ask, my heart racing.

"You didn't know? He was on his way to the party when some gang jumped him. They stole the present he had for you, beat him badly, and left him bloody in the street. I called and told your best friend, Shauna. She didn't tell you?"

"No, she didn't. I need to find Rhys."

I know now what happened. I was waiting for Rhys, because we were both eighteen as of that night, and we were going to go public as a couple. I knew it was going to upset my family and their stupid merger, but I loved him, and he loved me. Or, I thought he did.

When he didn't show up, and only returned my texts with a short "no, I'm not coming", my heart broke. It broke so badly, I did something stupid and agreed to marry Christon. All these years, I believed Rhys tossed me aside, when the truth is, he was stopped from coming to me. Whoever it was, they had to have threatened him in some way that kept him away once he was physically healed. I don't even care what it was; I only care about finding him now.

He's alone on one the decks, looking out over the lawn, with a beer dangling in his hand, when I find him. I drop to my knees in front of him.

"What did they threaten you with?"

"When a woman gets on her knees in front of a man, she better plan on following through."

"Stop deflecting. Rhieve told me you got beat up on the way to my birthday party."

"Yep. Just like yesterday, only I should've learned to fight by now instead of giving up."

"I would never have married him if I'd known."

"And then you'd be dead."

I rear back. "What?"

"People wanted that merger to happen, and you were the key to it happening."

"You were protecting me," I say, awareness dawning, and likely showing on my face. "All these years, you protected me."

"I told you you were loved."

"We've lost so many years, but now we have a second chance."

"No, we don't. I'm dirty, Vivs. So fucking dirty and disgusting."

"Don't say that."

"Pretty soon, you would've found out all of it, so I'll tell you now myself. Around a year ago I let some chicks who sucked me off at a sex club lure me away to another location. They kidnapped me to get to Calum, and while he and my sister looked for me, I was used as a plaything. A sex toy, whatever you want to call it. Women—and men—used me for their pleasure. At first I liked it, Vivienne. But later, not so much."

No. "Oh God, Rhys."

"See, there it is. I wasn't sure if it would be disgust or pity, but either way, you'll never want me again. Not really."

"Don't speak for me."

"I see it in your eyes and it's killing me. I have to get out of here."

He gets up, and steps around me as he heads for the door. "Where are you going?"

"Someplace where the women wouldn't care enough to pity me, even if they knew."

"Please stay and talk to me."

"Nothing to talk about. I've got a past you'll never be able to accept, no matter how hard you try."

"You know, for someone who thinks it's cool for his sister to be a spy, you're acting like a sexist ass right now."

"Just another thing to turn you off. Catch you later."

I let him go because I know I need to plan for what comes next. I need some wardrobe and confidence help, because I've never been a femme fatale before. Time to find Stella.

### Rhys

This pity party of one I've got going on is going to need more alcohol. I'm two drinks in, and nothing's looking better. Nothing, and no one. The women are flirting, and touching my shoulders and arms, but I've got nothing to give back to them. I left it all with the woman who was on her knees in front of me, begging me to stay. Which made me walk out like the ass I know I am.

I go to take a swig of drink number three, but it's pulled from my hand. "What the fuck?"

"You're not going to be able to fuck me properly if you're drunk, and I want you to remember everything you do to me," Vivienne tells me. She's in a tight white dress, pink lipstick, and heels, and my cock finally comes to life for the first time since I entered this pub.

"What exactly am I going to do to you?"

"Whatever you want."

Nope. Not going there. "I don't want a pity fuck. I thought I made myself clear about that."

"And I thought I made myself clear about telling me what I'm thinking and doing."

"Why? Why do you want to fuck me?"

"When you were taking your clothes off on the plane, it was the first time I'd felt truly aroused in years."

"Years? Fucktard didn't turn you on?"

"It's hard to be turned on when someone doesn't come near you, except in public."

I nearly fall off the barstool and not because I'm drunk. "You're telling me he had you in his bed, and didn't make you scream every night."

"We slept in separate beds almost from the beginning. He didn't want children, but I do, and he didn't trust me to stay on birth control."

"Bastard."

"I believe we established that already."

"You really want to give me all the control, Vivs?" I ask, looking her over again. "I have a very creative imagination when it comes to sex with you."

She glides in between my legs, and puts her mouth to my ear. "I want it. I want everything you've got."

I've already paid for my drinks, so I grab her hand, and practically drag her outside. I can't wait to taste her, so I push her against the wall, ignoring the people gathered out front. Shielding her body with mine, I kiss her for the first time in over five years.

There's nothing tentative about it, because I know her lips, her mouth, her tongue. She matches my kisses, licks, sucks, and bites, giving back as much as she takes. Our hands are running over each other's bodies, and it's better than anything I've done with another woman. They were all placeholders for this woman, and my mind and body are both happy to be home.

"Let's go," I tell her forcing my mouth from hers.

She rolls her hips, bushing my cock against her core. Fuck, if I don't love the fact she's almost matching me in height in those heels. "I don't know if I can wait."

"You don't have to."

I lead her to the car that's waiting for us, as she sucks on my neck, nearly shattering the control I need to keep right now. I nod to the driver as we get in, grabbing the soft blanket from the bench and covering Vivienne's lower half with it.

"You're not covered."

"No. I want you so badly, my cock is about to break through my zipper, but not tonight. Not until I get to know this woman everyone calls Viv, and she asks me to be hers. Not until you're not feeling like you owe me something. I want you to want me for me, and not the guy you're still romanticizing or feeling sorry for."

"I want _you_. It's always been _you_."

"Then a little more time won't change that. I'm going to slide my fingers under that blanket, into your wet panties, and right inside of you. There are cameras back here, so they'll know what I'm doing, but they won't see any of you."

"Yes. Please yes."

"Kiss me so no one else sees you come. I want that all for me."

She holds my face in her hands again, peppering my mouth with sweet kisses. Those kisses become hungrier as my fingers find her pussy. I slide one inside, as my thumb goes to work on her swollen clit.

"More," she murmurs into my mouth.

"Greedy?"

"When it comes to you, yes."

I smile, and add two more fingers, pumping them a little faster, in and out. She starts to ride them, matching the rhythm I've set. It will be a miracle if I don't come in my jeans.

"Yes."

It's her last coherent word, as her pussy clamps around my fingers, and moisture rushes over them. She starts to mumble senseless words, even as she kisses me, and arches her back. It's so damn sexy, and I let myself go right along with her. She somehow covers me with the blanket, and strokes me over my jeans as I blow.

"Please tell me you're sleeping in my bed tonight, and doing the cuddling you offered on the plane." She's practically pleading, and I hate to burst her bubble, but I have to.

Pushing her brown and caramel locks from her face, I kiss her softly. "Not tonight. I meant what I said about you being sure."

"I'm sure."

"Then waiting until tomorrow won't be a problem."

"I suppose not."

There's a gleam in her eye, and a smirk on her lips, telling me she's not going to play nice about this. She's got something planned, and damn if it doesn't make me love her just a little more. I _do_ want to get to know her, but I'm not going to keep turning her down for something we both want.

# Chapter 6

### Viv

I love that Rhys wants to get to know me, but I need him. I need more than his fingers and I know just how to get him onboard with the plan. He said tomorrow, and it's after midnight now, so technically I'm adhering to his wishes.

Slipping inside his room is easy, because the door isn't completely closed. I shut it behind me, and close the French doors leading to the back garden. It's going to get very hot in here, but I don't want a live audience. I know we'll probably be on camera again, but that's not bothering me as much as I would've thought it would.

There's only a sheet covering him, and I slowly pull it down, revealing my prize. So many years of waiting and wanting, and now this man is all mine again. We're not the kids we once were, but that's a good thing. I lean down, taking a long lick up his semi-hard length, and then everything goes wrong.

"Get off me!" he roars, shoving me back. I can't stop the momentum and I fall to the floor in an ungraceful heap. "Vivienne? Oh God, I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I tell him, getting to my feet.

He frantically looks around. "Why is everything closed? Why did you do this?"

"I was trying to surprise you."

"Consent is a thing. It's a big thing."

"I-I know."

"Then why are you here, closing me into my room like this?"

"I-I'm sorry."

With that said, I push out of those French doors and run for the lawn. I don't know where I'm going, but I have to get away. I've done something so wrong, I have no clue how to make it right. I thought I was being sexy and fun, but I was triggering him, and he'll never be able to forgive me for that.

As I fall to my knees on the grass, strong arms wrap around me. "It's okay. I'm okay, Vivs. I shouldn't have scared you like that. I'm sorry."

"Don't you dare apologize for me being insensitive," I say, turning in his arms and placing my hands on his chest.

"You were doing something most men would love. My goods are just too damaged to appreciate you. You need to walk away right now before I hurt you."

"You weren't scared on the jet."

"Getting on a plane is a choice to be enclosed. X doesn't swing both ways, and the flight crew would get fired for not being professional, so I knew it would only be you and me."

"I want more than your body, Rhys, but I want your body so bad. It's been too long, and not just from having sex. It's been too long since I had you. I can barely control myself around you. I want to know you again, I promise I do, but I want everything your body can give me too."

"I believe you, but I need you to give me a little time. I'll eat you out or finger you whenever you need me to, but I can't be intimate with you."

"You've been celibate since all of that went down?"

He shakes his head. "Mindless fucks with women I meet in bars aren't intimate. I haven't let anyone suck me off since then, but I've fucked. Fucked them without caring what their names were, or letting them have even a tiny bit of control over me."

"Are you trying to tell me I'm more than just a mindless fuck?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm trying to tell you."

"You're not making it easy to argue with you."

"I don't want to argue with you."

"Let me guess, you'd like to cuddle."

"I mean, if you're offering, yeah."

"I'm offering," I say with a smile. "I'm expecting a good cuddle experience, you know."

"I promise to give you good cuddle."

He stands, holding out his hand, and I place mine in his. I know now that we have to take it slow, and while my body is fighting me on this, I can do it. I'll have to do it, because it's what he needs and I'm quickly discovering I need _him_ more than I ever imagined I could.

# Chapter 7

### Rhys

I know I freaked Vivienne out, but she freaked me out too. I fuck around a lot, but I don't let my guard down for a moment with any woman I'm with, and I definitely don't fall asleep with them. I told her the plane would've been different, but that might be a lie. I felt safe and secure here in this house, but then she tried to suck my cock, and I acted like she was raping me. Yeah, I wasn't awake and consenting, but I loved having her mouth on me in the past, so why wouldn't I be okay with it now?

Because, I'm a fucked-up shell of a man, who's lying here wide awake, while the only woman I've ever loved is snuggled up next to me. Sleeping. She invited me into her body, and I promised her a good cuddle. Yeah, I'm definitely fucked up, and not getting fucked.

"Rhys," she murmurs in her sleep, cuddling even closer into my side.

A better man would walk away from this—from her—but I'm so far from being better I don't even know what that would look like. I'm just me and I know I'm not good enough for anyone, let alone Vivienne. That was drilled into me with words and fists all those years ago, and I know it's still true now.

"Why aren't you sleeping?"

I look down to see she's woken up, and is looking at me with worry in her eyes. Worry I put there, and now I have to try and remove it.

"Just thinking. Go back to sleep," I tell her, kissing the top of her head.

"Do you need me to leave? I don't want to keep you up!"

"No," I lie. "I'm just full of thoughts about everything and I can't relax."

She turns my face, because I haven't looked her in the eyes yet. "Tell me what you need me to do."

"Just be you. That's all I need, Vivs."

She leans up and kisses me softly. "With you, I always am."

I feather kisses all over her face, and close my eyes, so she'll close hers too. Her even breathing a few minutes later tells me it worked, and now I'm back on my own, with thoughts I can't get rid of. I'm so broken, I don't know if I'll ever be fixed, and I know that means this will never last. I can never have this woman next to me if I can't give her everything she deserves, and more. It wouldn't be fair to her, and after what she's gone through, she needs things to be fair.

Once I'm sure she's sleeping deeply, I slide out from under her, throw on some jeans, and walk outside. The air is crisp, but not cold enough to deter me from seeking some kind of solace. That's all I want—a little peace from my thoughts.

"Why did you just run from your room like it was on fire?" Rhieve asks, appearing out of the darkness.

"Nice parlor trick."

"Training, not tricks, and answer my question."

"Vivienne's in my bed, sleeping."

"Now I'm really not understanding why you're out here instead of in there."

Of course, she doesn't understand. No one can understand what those days and nights for me in Norwich were like. Pleasure mixed with shame, and humiliation.

"She deserves better."

"Isn't that for her to decide?"

"You didn't see me in that club, and I'm so damn thankful for that. What they were doing to me when Darcy found me—if you'd seen that, you'd never want to be my sister ever again."

"Stop right there, Rhys. We have our differences, and I don't like you lying to get this job, but I love you. I will always love you. And, I love being your sister."

"Why? After everything, why?"

"Because you are more than what's happened to you, or what you've felt you had to do in response to what happened to you."

"Maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm just supposed to be used for my body."

"Have you talked to someone?"

I laugh her off with a shake of my head. "A shrink? No. We weren't raised to air our dirty laundry to others. You know that."

"We also weren't raised to stand up for ourselves and others, but we're both doing that now."

"You are, but I'm not. Don't try to give me credit when I don't deserve it."

"You're telling me that if someone came into this yard right now, and went for Vivienne—or me—you wouldn't try to stop them."

"If you're asking if I'd take a bullet for you, I would."

"You didn't hesitate."

"Because I love you."

"And that's what matters."

"Great talk."

She grabs my arm as I try to walk away, and I know I'm going to hear more about talking to someone. "We're not done here."

"For tonight, we are."

"I didn't save you just to lose you to the demons in your head."

"You won't."

That's a promise we both know I can't keep, but she lets me go. She won't give up, and honestly, I don't want her to. Right now, I can't help myself, or ask for help from others, but as long as my sister believes in me, I can hold onto her hope to keep me going.

### Viv

I wasn't sleeping when Rhys went outside, but I pretended I was. He's scaring me, and I don't know how to help him. The way he reacted when I slipped into his bed hurt me, but seeing the lost look in his eyes hurt me more. I know he's not rejecting me, but he's not letting me in, either.

I'm still awake when he walks back into the room, and I debate letting him think I'm sleeping again, but I remind myself about the promise I made when I left Christon. I told myself I wouldn't pretend, or behave in a way I wasn't comfortable with.

"I told you I would leave if you weren't comfortable having me here with you."

"I don't want you to leave."

"But you can't sleep, can you?"

"No."

I climb out of bed, taking a pillow with me. "I'll fit on the chaise."

"What? No. You're not sleeping there."

"Yes, I am. You don't want me to go. I don't want me to go. So, it's the only answer."

He pulls me into his arms, and kisses me. I should be embarrassed by how quickly I melt into him, but it's always been like this with us. Even when we were platonic friends, we hugged with everything we had.

"Can we try again on the bed?" he asks, looking shy, and reminding me of the boy he was all those years ago.

"Only if you're okay with it."

"I want to be."

I take his hand, and walk him back to the bed, stopping to line the middle with some of the throw pillows. "A compromise," I tell him.

"You should walk away now," he tells me.

"I've never knowingly walked away from you before, and I'm not going to start now."

"Thank you. I'm going to try to deserve you, and be normal."

"Everyone has their own version of 'normal' and one isn't better than another. We'll work this out, Rhys."

"Yeah, we will."

We hold hands on top of those little pillows, facing each other. It's not the most comfortable way to sleep, but it's what he needs. I'll give him whatever he needs, as long as he's giving himself back to me. He's trying, and that's all I can ask for right now.

I hear him fall asleep and say a mental thank you to the man upstairs, because Rhys needs all the rest he can get. We're in an okay place, relationship-wise, but we're still not exactly safe. I'm hoping Rhieve, X, and their friends will have some info for us tomorrow, but we may be hunkered down here for an extended period of time. I'm fine with that because I have nowhere I need to be, but if we get put on lockdown I'm truly afraid for Rhys.

# Chapter 8

### Rhys

"What do you mean you can't find her?" X is bellowing into the phone when I walk into the kitchen the next morning. "Find her!"

"Everything okay?" I ask.

"Seri's missing."

"Well, she said she was going off the grid."

"What did you just say?" he asks, slamming me into the wall.

I'm not letting him push me around this time, so I slam my hands into his chest and make him stumble back. I know it was more surprise than brute strength that caused it, but I puff my chest out a little anyway.

"When I saw her in the office, she said she had enough contacts through you to go off the grid, and make sure you couldn't find her."

"And you chose until now to tell me this? You know we're in danger."

He starts to advance on me again, but I hold my ground. "She used to work for Metro, so I wasn't worried about her."

"I don't give a fuck about your feelings, but _I'm_ worried about her and that's all that matters."

"Maybe you should have let her know that before she ran. Or forced her to hear the truth."

"Speaking from experience?"

"Yes."

"Viv's different when she's with you and that's a good thing, but she's still fragile, and I'm going to keep an eye on you until I know she's being taken care of."

"Noted."

The woman in question walks in, looking between the two of us, as we're still standing defensively. "What's going on?"

"Just having a chat," X tells her.

"Did you put your hands on him again?"

"You don't need to fight my battles, Vivs. And, X and I are good."

"Yeah, we are. Thanks for the info about Seri. It'll give me some other avenues to search in."

"If I'm wrong and someone has her, I've got your back."

"Thanks. I appreciate it, man."

"Seri's missing?" Vivienne asks, once he leaves the room. "This is all my fault! If I hadn't kissed X, she'd be here with us."

" _You_ kissed _him_?" I ask.

"Yes."

I know it shouldn't matter, but it does. "Oh."

"Is that a problem for you?"

"I don't know."

"Men," she says, throwing up her hands, and turning to walk out.

"Can you tell me why?" I ask, wrapping her in my arms from behind once again.

"I wanted to feel wanted, and I wanted to want someone again. I thought kissing him would make me feel that way."

"That's a good reason."

"You're not going to ask me if it worked?"

I want to, and at the same time, I don't. "Is this one of those questions where either way I answer is going to be wrong?"

"No," she says, turning around and stepping away. "I need to know if some stupid kiss is such a big deal to you that you'll let it affect what's happening again between us."

She's right, and I know it. It's one kiss that happened before we were even close to being together again. "I won't let it affect us."

"Good. For the record, I didn't feel anything when I kissed X, but I feel _everything_ when I kiss you."

I cradle her head as I push her into the wall, and kiss her for all I'm worth. It's not a kiss meant to claim, because we already belong to each other. It's a kiss of acceptance, happiness, and love.

"I would've been okay if that wasn't the case."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Hearing you say the words made me realize I didn't need them."

Her stomach grumbles, reminding me of where we are right now. "Sorry, I need some breakfast."

"I can use a toaster, but that's about it."

"Good thing I insisted on cooking lessons from my last cook."

"I'd love you even if you couldn't feed me."

"I know. I'd love you even if you couldn't toast the bread."

"Perfect."

We're not, but right now, I'm letting myself believe we are. Illusions can be dangerous and this one will probably kill me in the end, but I need it now.

### Viv

After breakfast, there's still no one coming forward to give us information, so I suggest we hang out inside the mini maze of topiaries in the backyard. I want some privacy for an idea I had. It came to me when I was in the shower, masturbating, because how could I not do that when I saw Rhys getting dressed this morning? I'm so hot for him, even when he's fully dressed, and I almost orgasmed just from looking at him naked. My bruised and beautiful man, who doesn't know just how beautiful he is on the inside.

"I would ask if you've lured me out here to have your way with me, but I know you wouldn't do that to me."

"Not exactly."

"That's a little ominous."

"I was hoping we could experiment a little."

"I've tried everything, but if you want me to tie you to a bush, and spank you, I'm game."

"Sorry, but no," I tell him with a laugh, but not completely sure if he was joking.

"Please tell me you don't want to tie me to a bush."

He says it playfully, but I see the fear in his eyes. So yeah, he wasn't joking. I want to hunt down and kill every person who took what didn't belong to them.

"Not unless you want me to."

"I don't."

"I was thinking more along the lines of us seeing how far we can go without it freaking you out."

I'm not sure he's going to agree, because he starts moving back and forth like he's ready to run. I won't stop him if he does, because I need him to want this and not do it because he's forced. If he can't do it, we'll have to figure out something else.

"Okay. Let's do this."

I can't help but laugh. "You say it like making out with me is a car race, or something."

"Making out with you is a privilege. One I will never take for granted again."

I take his hand, and lead him to one of the benches surrounding a fountain in the middle of the topiaries. As we sit across from each other, straddling the bench, I reach out and place my hand on his cheek. He turns his head to kiss my hand and I sigh in contentment.

Lifting my other hand, I place it on his chest. "Is this okay?"

"We made out against the wall outside the bar," he reminds me.

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes, and thank you for asking."

One day, I hope I won't have to ask to touch him and love him, but until that day I'll ask. I'll ask him a million times until it comes to that day, if that's what he needs.

"I love your body. All the bumps, and ridges, and bulges," I tell him as I explore his chest and shoulders over his shirt.

"The main bulge loves having your hands on my body."

"Yes, but he's not the one I need to win over, is he?"

"You've won all of me over already. It's my own mind I'm battling right now."

He looks away, so I lean forward to kiss his cheek.

"We're in this battle together now."

Instead of answering me verbally as I lean away from him, he reaches behind his back, and pulls his shirt over his head. I drink him in, willingly letting him grip me by the knees, and pull my legs over his.

"You were too far away, Vivs."

"You're in charge here, so it wasn't my place to move closer."

"I don't want you to ever think you have a 'place' or need to act in a way you don't want to. I'm sorry you're feeling this way with me."

"I chose the wrong word there, because I know you don't expect me to be one way or another. I'm just scared to do the wrong thing."

There, I said it. I had to say it, but I hate it. I hate knowing I can't be this close to him without him bringing me here. I hate that I can't wake him up with my mouth on him, and most of all I hate that I can't fix him. I want to fix him so badly, but I know he has to fix himself.

# Chapter 9

### Rhys

She's trying hard not to cry. Her eyes are shining, and she's swallowing hard. It's because of me, and I hate it. I hate that she's crying when she's trying so hard to do everything I need.

"Vivienne, please don't cry."

"Don't call me that. Call me Vivs, or even Viv, but not that. I hate that name."

"What did he do to you?" I ask, realizing we've been focusing on me and I still don't know what happened to her.

"He made me feel small. Unloved, unwanted, unneeded for anything but public appearances. Stupid, plain, boring, frigid. You name an insult, and he's probably said it to me."

"He's a motherfucking liar. You are none of those things."

She shrugs. "I think so, but I don't know for sure."

Sometimes, when the person you love is hurting, you put aside your own fears for a moment, and do everything you can to help them. Right now, I can give her something she needs, and I have to. No matter how I feel later, or even during, I need to help her.

"I'm going to make love to you until you realize how loved, wanted, and needed you always are. You are intelligent, gorgeous, interesting, and hot as fuck. When you walk into the room everything seems brighter—and better. I'm going to show you that."

"You're not ready," she insists, shaking her head no.

I pull her all the way to me, so my cock lines up with her pussy. "I'm ready. I know you can feel how ready I am."

"We already talked about this. I don't want you doing this just for me."

And she thinks she's not an amazing person? Damn, this woman is so much more than she realizes. If I can give her something—anything—that shows her how great she is, I will. I have no choice but to give that to her.

"I'm doing this for _us_. I need to do this. Please let me love you."

"If you're sure, you know it's a yes."

I'm sure I need to do this, but I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it. I can't think of her as just a quick fuck, because she's not. But anything else scares the shit out of me. I just need to focus on how much I love her.

I tell myself these things as I unzip my pants, and pull my dick out. When I reach into my wallet for the condom I keep there, and check the date on it, I remind myself of how much I love her. As I roll it on, I look into her eyes and see that love reflected back at me.

While I've been having my inner turmoil, Viv pulled her dress over her head, and removed her bra and panties. Just looking at her makes me hard enough to come, but I need to make this good for her and last as long as my mind and body will allow.

"I need to be on top," I tell her, placing my shirt, and her dress, on the bench. It's not a bed, but it's the best I've got right now.

"Okay."

She lies down, her legs open over the bench, and her pussy glistening. She's ready for me, and physically, I'm ready for her too.

I keep my eyes on hers as I lower myself over her, and line my cock up with her pussy. I want this. I've wanted this since the day I understood why my body reacted to her as a teen. She's a gift. A beautiful, perfect gift.

That's what I think of as I slide inside of her. She arches her back and grips the bench, but doesn't try to touch me. I don't know how she knows—or understands—but she does. My hands are braced above her head on the bench, and I begin to move.

I allow my body to take over, feeling how good this is as I keep my eyes locked on hers. I feel the tension in her body, knowing it's because she's holding back from touching me or moving, but not able to voice the words allowing her to do as she pleases. It's hard enough to hold eye contact right now.

"Do you want to stop?"

"What? Why would I want to stop?"

"Because you're not here with me. You're going through the motions, but you're not enjoying it."

Fuck. I should've known I couldn't fake it with her. "I'm sorry," I tell her, sliding out of her and dropping to my knees. "I'll finish you off."

She stands up, and pulls her dress back over her head. "I don't need finishing."

I'm screwing this up. Just like I knew I would. I can let her walk away again, because she doesn't need my mess in her life, but I won't let her think it's because I don't want to make her scream.

"I want my mouth on you, Viv. I want to lick and suck you until you scream my name again. I want to taste how sweet you are, and know how lucky I am to be allowed between your legs."

"It's not fair. Not if you're not coming, too."

"Life isn't fair. I'll get myself off after."

Her eyes go dark, and I know she likes the idea of me jacking myself with my hand. In another time we watched each other, but I can't invite her to my private party right now. I just can't. I'm barely holding it together with her right now, and if I give her that control and let her watch me, I know I'll lose it.

### Viv

We have to be able to get past this. I don't need sex, as evidenced by the last few years, but I _want_ it. I want it with Rhys, and I know he wants it with me, too. He just can't get out of his own head long enough to enjoy it. I know he's slept with women this past year, and I'm trying hard not to blame myself for this problem happening right now. Because, blaming myself for not being a nameless woman in a bar is not going to help us.

I know what to I need to do. I don't like it, but it's the only thing I've got right now.

"I have a better idea."

Moving to the fountain, I place my hands on the upper tier, letting the water run over my hands, as I kneel on the lower bench. In this position he won't be looking in my eyes. It might just be enough to make him comfortable.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to be what you need."

"You're not like them."

"Right now, I am. Take me the way you need to."

I'm not looking at him, but I can feel his hesitation like it's touching me. I grip the stone tighter, knowing this has to be his choice, his decision. Everything has to be his, and although I don't know if I can go along with that forever, right now, I can do this for him.

"I'm sorry," he tells me as he moves behind me, lifting up my dress. "So sorry."

Neither of us speaks as he thrusts into me, or during any of it. He rubs my clit, and I come, but there are no words, or kisses, or anything remotely intimate. Yes, he's inside of my body, but it's not me he's thinking of. It's not anyone. I've let myself become someone with no face and no love.

I said I wouldn't allow myself to be used again, but for this, with him, I can do it. I know he loves me, and I also know he's hurting. I can't do this forever, or I'll lose myself again, but I can do it for now. For us, I can do it.

"I'm sorry," Rhys whispers in my ear again as he comes, and then he's gone.

He's not behind me, and I hear his footsteps as he runs from the fountain. I try to hold back my tears, but I can't. I need to let all my pain, and fear, out while I'm alone. I pull my dress down, and sit on the edge, dipping my feet into the fountain. My teardrops blend with the water as I allow myself to grieve—for the past, the present, and maybe even the future.

"Viv?" Rhieve asks from behind me.

I know I was shaking as I cried, and there's no way my eyes aren't red, but I turn toward her anyway. I'm pretty sure this won't be the last time she'll see me falling apart, and I'm not ashamed of feeling. Bad or good, I want to feel.

"Hi."

Because she's as trained as I am in faking smiles, I almost miss her cringe when I turn toward her. Almost.

"I saw Rhys running back to the house."

"He was done with me," I tell her with a shrug. Two can play this game.

She cringes again, and I look to where she's gazing, seeing my thong on the ground. Awkward for her, because he's her brother, but I'm not ashamed of what happened out here. I would have changed how it went down, but I'm not sorry it happened. I can compromise myself, but I won't allow myself to second-guess my choices, or worry what other people think about me.

"He cares about you. I know he does. It's just...there are complications."

"He told me."

"That makes me feel a little better, but I have to warn you, things are going to get worse for him. It's why I was looking for the two of you."

"What did you find out?" I ask, a sense of dread making its way through my body.

"It's better if we wait until everyone's together. We're meeting in the kitchen in a few minutes."

"How bad is it? Can you tell me that?"

"It's bad. Just bad."

I follow her back to the house, grabbing my underwear as discreetly as possible, and shoving them into my pocket. Standing up for Rhys is something I'll always do, no matter what we hear in this meeting.

"Good, we're all here now," X says, as we walk inside.

Rhys is already there, and I move to stand next to him. He won't look at me, but I'll stand next to him, regardless.

"We've figured out who attacked the compound, and how," Faith tells us.

"Who? Stop stalling, and tell us what the fuck is going on! I need to get back to Vegas with Micah."

"The people were sent by a man whose girlfriend Rhys slept with a few months ago. They followed him there."

Oh my God. No. "Do you know who it was?" I ask Rhys.

"Nope. No clue. You know I only fuck women I know nothing about."

"Rhys!" Rhieve admonishes, but I wave her off. I know he's doing this to push me away, but it's not going to work.

"I'm not going to walk away, just because you insult me."

"Then I'll have to do the walking."

# Chapter 10

### Rhys

I try to get out of the room, because I have to, but X steps in front of me. "You put my son in danger, because you couldn't keep your dick in your pants, and now you're going to run away?"

"Yes."

"No. You're going to face this guy, and let him beat the shit out of you. I could buy him off, but I suspect he wants you to feel a little pain."

"No! Stop it, X."

I don't look at Viv when she grabs my arm, because I can't. I told her I was dirty and damaged, and if what we did at the fountain didn't prove it to her, this should. It _should_ , but it doesn't seem to be happening.

"Let go, Viv. He's right. I need to take responsibility for all of my actions."

"Yeah, you do," X agrees.

"Call me when you have him here—or wherever—and I'll come back."

"Don't go. Please don't go." Viv is holding my arm, and pleading with me, but I shake her off.

"I have to. Who knows who else is out there, wanting to get at me. I won't put any of you in the line of fire for me again."

I look at my sister when I say the words, and the pain on her face nearly knocks me over. She shouldn't have had to protect me that night, or any night. I'm a man and until I start acting like it, I'll be no good for any of us. The problem is, I don't know how to be the man the women I love believe me to be. I don't know how to heal.

"We can do this together," Viv insists, trying to make me look at her.

"No, we can't."

"I won't beg you to stay when you don't want to, but I wish you would."

"Wishes are for the naïve, and we've both seen too much of this world to be labeled that," I say, finally forcing myself to look at her. "Have the life you deserve for once, Vivs."

She lets me go, because she won't beg—and I don't want her to. She's lived a life nowhere near what she deserved for the last five years, and now, she needs to be happy and fulfilled. She can't do that with me. Even if she doesn't realize it now, it's the truth.

My sister stays silent as I walk past her, but the determined look on her face lets me know she's not buying my act. Right now, I don't have time to convince her. Viv is who I have to force myself away from, and I'm doing it. I'm doing what's best for her.

"Keep that phone on you," X says, and I know he'd be willing to dole out the beating himself if asked.

"I will."

I order the Uber as I walk, knowing where I need to go. Knowing it, dreading it, but planning on doing it anyway. I lied back there to try and get Viv to see who I've been, but she wasn't having it. I don't want to leave her, but I can't be with her until I face the things I've done—and were done to me—and can let her help make me whole. Honestly, I don't know if that's even possible, but I have to try.

### Viv

"I will not allow you to let that man hurt Rhys."

"He walked out on you, Viv. It's not a good look to be advocating for a man who walked away," X tells me, shaking his head.

"What about a woman? If Seri was in trouble, you're telling me you wouldn't move the earth to protect her?"

"It's not the same thing."

"Isn't it? Rhys is being punished because a woman wanted him. Seri left because she thought you wanted me."

"I know why she left," he growls.

"Then act like it."

"I have to protect my son, above all else. I'll never apologize for that."

"I'm not asking you to. What I'm asking is for you to shut down this man, or to let the Society do it."

"It's already being taken care of," Rhieve tells me. "No one's touching my brother."

"You have to know that getting him out of everything isn't doing him any good. He has to learn to fight for himself."

"I didn't get him out in time when it mattered, and I'll never let that happen again. Don't try to lecture me, because you don't scare me, X. I'll fight you to the death over my brother, because whether you believe it or not, I know he'd do the same for me."

"Who said I was trying to scare you?"

"You try to scare, and intimidate everyone," I tell him.

"Well, it's obviously not as successful as I'd want it to be."

"It's successful with the people who haven't seen you with Micah—or Seri. You're human, X, even if you'd prefer to be a computer. Letting that out now and then isn't going to take power from you, but it might get you more help when you need it."

"I was fine before the Society came looking for me, and forced me out into the open. It was just me and Micah, and we were good."

"Do you wish we hadn't come for you? That we'd left Harlow in the line of fire while you pretended the world around you didn't exist?" Rhieve asks, looking like she wants to punch him. I don't blame her.

"Reina wouldn't have allowed Harlow to be hurt."

"No, she wouldn't, and you don't see that as a weakness for your cousin, do you?"

He rolls his eyes. "I knew better than to fall for that, but it still happened. Well played, spy girl."

"You'll help us keep Rhys safe?" I ask, hoping that's what he means.

"Yes, I will."

Rhys

The train rolls through the countryside, and I try to keep myself calm. I want a drink, but I know I don't need one. I need to somehow make this all better—make myself better. I don't know how, but I have to. I can't put the people I love in any more danger, and I can't have them keep rescuing me, either. I'm a grown man and it's time I start acting like one.

As the train nears Norwich, my palms begin to sweat. I came here voluntarily, and I want to face my fears, so I have to be here. There's no other choice. I have to go back to the place I was rescued from, and remember it all, so I can move past it.

The train station is moderately busy, and I bypass the cabs waiting outside, preferring to walk. I don't walk to my destination yet, but instead wander the connecting streets. I eat some great fish, and chips, and buy a pair of shoes for Viv from one of the shops. They're nothing "Vivienne" would wear, but I think "Viv" will love them. I don't know if she'll ever talk to me again, but I buy them anyway.

I walk, and wander, and when the sun goes down, I finally go where I never wanted to go again. The warehouse isn't abandoned, as I'd hoped it would be, but crowded with partiers at the club it's become. Maybe it's better this way, because I won't allow myself to break down in front of this crowd.

After paying the entrance fee, I walk through the different rooms on the ground floor. They're still the same as they were when I was here last, the chains attached to the walls, and the harnesses hanging from the ceiling. Only now, the patrons are clothed as they dance with everything, using it all as if they're just toys, and not restraints. Yes, they're having fun and not hurting anyone, but I still don't like it.

I expected this place to be a shell, with everything else gone. I wanted to see it broken, like I am, but it's not. It's been reincarnated into a den of clothed pleasure, and I find it unsettling to see what's been left behind being played with so casually.

One step at a time. I keep repeating that to myself as I enter the throng of people. They gyrate, simulating sex, and sending messages of want and need to their dance partners, and sometimes, the room at large. It's what I should be doing. It's what I usually do. But, not here. I could never act carefree and fun here.

Here, I stand in the middle of it all, and close my eyes, letting the memories come. Memories I don't want to remember, even if they started out fun, and enjoyable. I voluntarily came to this place, and for a little while, I played the game. I wanted those women—and maybe some of the men, if I'm being honest—to touch me, suck me, use me for their pleasure and mine.

Until, I didn't want it anymore, but was powerless to stop it. If things had gone down differently. I could maybe convince myself they didn't hear me when I asked them to stop. I could pretend they only wanted pleasure, and not revenge. But, that's not the case. A man wanted everything he didn't deserve, and he thought I was his ticket to it all. I wasn't.

"Remember me?" a female voice asks, as a hand cups my ass.

I open my eyes, and remove the hand, bumping into dancers as I move away from the woman before me. Yes, I remember her. I remember them all. If I let myself look too closely at everything, I'll realize that's why I fight so hard to not remember anyone who came after them.

"Yes."

"It's a shame they closed this place down, but we could still have some fun."

"No."

"You said that to me before, but your body had other ideas."

"You heard me say 'no' and you still used me. Rape isn't a good look, honey."

"Your body wanted it."

"But my mind, and soul didn't. I was chained to a wall, so I couldn't walk away."

"I-I didn't think you meant it."

"I did."

"Oh Go! I'm sorry. Really, I'm sorry."

I can see in her eyes she means it. She looks sad, and maybe a little traumatized. "Thank you for saying that."

"Is there anything I can do to help you? Do you need help?"

"I need help, but not from you. I appreciate the offer, though."

I walk away, because anything more I could say would hurt both of us. I would be lying if I said the weight of this place was lifted from me by that apology, but I can honestly say I feel a little calmer as I walk through the room. I told Viv I wasn't naïve, and I meant it. I know not all of those people were as clueless as the girl I walked away from, and I know her apology doesn't make what she did right. It's helping me walk through this crowd right now, so there's that, but it's not everything I need.

The stairs to the VIP area are being guarded by a bouncer who looks like he could snap me in two, yet I still approach him, because it's up there where everything started. I've walked through the end, but I also need to face the beginning. Time to slap on the pompous smirk of the rich boy out to play.

"Hey, man."

"Hello."

"Do you think I could take a peek upstairs?"

"Whatcha offering?"

I pull out some pounds I got from the ATM in Cardiff, and hand the notes over to him. He raises his eyebrows before smiling, and pulling back the velvet rope.

"Go on up."

I nod, and swagger my way up the steps. It's all about image sometimes, and I know how to work what I've been born with. Money, privilege, and a good little smirk can get me almost anywhere I want to be. And right now, I need to be here.

There's more making out up here, and a few oral sex demonstrations, but that's common in many of the clubs I've been to, so it doesn't bother me to see it, even in this place.

"How's it going?" a man asks, rising from a couch where he was sitting alone. I didn't notice him, but I should've.

"Nate Anderson. I don't believe in coincidences, but I'm not sure why my sister sent you."

"Let's get out of here, and I'll explain."

"I'm not ready to leave."

He nods. "The room is open back there, but no one's inside. Take your time."

I hate that he knows why I'm here, but he's not mocking me in any way, and I appreciate that. "Okay."

Viv

This time, when Rhieve finds me, I'm sitting on the deck, trying to read and relax. It's not going so well, but I'm trying. I place my e-reader down, and smile at her, knowing what—or rather, who—she's here to talk to me about.

"You didn't go after him."

"No. I love Rhys, but I won't chase after someone who isn't ready for me. I stayed with a man who didn't love or want me for far too long to do that to myself again."

"He loves, and wants you."

"Yes, but he's not ready to accept either of those things. He has to before we can move forward."

"I know where he is."

"I'm pretty sure I do, too."

"He needs someone to be there when he falls. Someone to maybe not catch him, but to help him stand again."

"He needs more help than I can offer, Rhieve. I will happily help him dust himself off when he stumbles, but only when he truly accepts everything I'm willing to offer him, and can offer me the same back. I have to put myself first for once in my life. If I don't, it will make things worse for us."

"I've talked to him about seeing someone."

"I'm guessing that didn't go over so well."

"No, but I've sent a friend to try and help."

"If you can't get through to him, and he won't let me even try, what makes you think someone who doesn't love him can?"

"Because he _doesn't_ love him like we do, and because, he's been through something similar."

"Oh. I didn't think what happened to Rhys was common. I mean, I should realize it is, but no one really talks about men having that happen."

"That's part of the problem. We don't even talk enough about what happens to women, and men get completely overlooked. My friend didn't have the same circumstances as Rhys, but he was used against his will for sex. I'm hoping he can convince my brother to get help.

"Me too."

Hope is all I have left right now, but I'm holding onto it as tightly as I can. I'm starting my life over, and I can't look back, or wish for what might've been. None of that will change. The future is all I have in my control, and while I want Rhys to be a part of that, if he can't, I'll have to find a way to accept that, too.

# Chapter 11

### Rhys

I step into the room where I voluntarily came and had sex with the two women I left Calum's club with, remembering it all. Back then, I walked into this room with one on each arm, and a smile on my face. I wanted more of what they gave me in that club, but not as much as I ended up getting. Still, the guilt lingers. I _did_ this to myself. Even if no one says it, I know it's true.

It's why Viv needs to stay far away from me. I'm tainted, and ugly inside. My soul is at least grey, if not black, and I don't know how to cleanse it, and make it whole again for her—and me. I want that so desperately, but I just don't know if it's possible. I came here to try, but it's not helping me like I prayed it would.

I stand in that room until the pressure becomes too much, and I want to destroy it all. Remembering the destruction at X's house, I understand it. He lost his love, and tried to tear down his physical world. Now, I want to tear this place of pain down to get back my love. If only getting rid of the pain was that easy.

"I could tell you it gets easier, because it does, but I know you don't want to hear that right now," Nate tells me, stepping into the room.

"How would you know anything about what I'm going through? You've got it all."

"Now, I do. But, there was a time when choice was taken from me, and it took the love of a good woman, along with some therapy sessions, and my friends, to make me functional again."

"You?" I ask, stumbling back a little, because he's a fucking MMA fighter. How could anyone force him to do things he didn't want to do.

"Yes, me."

"And you go see some a shrink?"

He nods. "Less now than I did a couple of years ago, but at least twice a month."

"Wasn't that embarrassing?"

"Yes, and no. I'm well aware of how alpha I am in life, so admitting I let things happen to me was hard, but once I was in a place where I could talk freely, it helped me more than I could've ever imagined. Being able to talk to someone who doesn't judge me, or know me outside of that room makes me feel safe. It even helped me talk to Jade. She knew what happened, and tried as hard as she could to be patient with me, but until I could really explain it to her, she was fumbling in the dark. She comes with me sometimes now, and it's made it easier for both of us to communicate what we're thinking and feeling."

"If Viv knew what I let them do to me, she'd never look at me the same way."

"I know it feels that way, but Jade accepted what happened to me, although she did want to kill some people. Vivienne will accept what happened to you, but first you have to accept it, and understand that it's not your fault. Whatever you did or said before, it doesn't excuse what was done to you after. I don't know her well, but from what I've seen, Vivenne's going to fight for you if you give her the chance."

"I came here, because I want to face it, and try to be better. But, nothing's better. A woman apologized to me down there, and it still didn't lift any of the weight I'm carrying around."

"Come home with me. You can talk to my Society doctor. She's awesome. Or we can find you someone else. You can talk to me anytime you need to. And, some of us have group sessions."

"Who else goes with you to the sessions?" I ask, thinking I might want to take him up on his offer, but not quite sure yet.

"I can't reveal other people's secrets, but if you're there, you'll see."

"What if I go in there, and can't say a word? To the doctor, I mean."

"She'll get you talking, unless you really don't want to. Then, she'll sit there are let you be quiet with your thoughts."

"And at the group thing?"

"Well there, we won't be so easy on you, but it helps to know you're not alone, and I think you'll want to talk, even if it's hard."

I want to believe him, and do what he's saying. I didn't know him when he was fighting for himself, but I see him now, and I want the peace I believe he's found. It won't be easy—or quick—but I know I want it. Still, there's something holding me back.

"I have one more place I need to go, but I'm not sure I should go there now."

"I'll go with you if you need me to."

"To a sex club?"

"Um, let me call Jade and tell her, and then I'll go. If you're sure."

"She wouldn't care?"

"My wife trusts me, and knows I won't do anything with anyone there. Do you want to call Vivienne just in case someone leaks that we were there? I assume you're talking about Calum's place, and I know no phones or cameras are allowed inside, but people still talk."

"No, because I need to do something with someone there. I need to get sucked off in the place it all began, in order to move forward."

It's crass, and maybe TMI, but he needs to know what he's getting into if he goes there with me. This is the one block talking to someone won't cure.

"Dude, no."

"I'm pretty sure it's the only way."

"And, I'm really sure it's not."

"I couldn't look at her when we had sex. She was my first, and I've fantasized about her for years, but I couldn't look at her. She doesn't deserve that."

"No, she doesn't," he agrees. "Since we're sharing, I'll tell you I couldn't let Jade touch me, or talk about how much she liked my body when we first got together. I was objectified by other women, and I projected that onto her, treating her the same way."

"No one would ever know you two had problems," I tell him truthfully.

They're affectionate every time I see them, teasing each other about various things and always touching. They kiss, and hold hands, and now all I can think about is having that with Viv. Feeling free with her, and letting her have the freedom to touch me without asking. I want that so bad.

"I had a choice to make. Would I wallow in what happened to me, and live my life alone? Or would I accept her love, get help, and be the happiest man alive? I made the right choice, and I know you will too, if you get your head out of your ass."

"I want to, but I also want to be able to take her to bed without freaking out because I'm giving up some control. I'd even take her to one of Calum and Guil's clubs if she wants, and I can't do that with the bad memories haunting me."

"You can't do that at all if you fuck some other chicks in the club. Or even just let them suck your dick. That's Cheating 101, even if you're not fully together at the moment."

"I know, and I don't actually want anyone else, but what do I do to make this better?"

"Exactly what I suggested. Talk to someone professional, and let yourself accept the love Vivienne's offering you."

"That easy, huh?"

"Not at all, but it's worth it. Trust me on that."

This is one of those moments when you have to make a choice in your life. Going down one path might help you rebuild what you think you've lost, but it can also cost you everything you want. The other path is scarier than anything else you've ever done in your life, but it could bring you everything. I believe Nate when he says he made the right choice, because I've seen it with my own eyes. Right now, I know which path I should choose, but I don't know if I can. Nevertheless, I'm going to try. I owe that to both Viv, and me, so I'm going to do it.

"Let's go catch a plane."

He smiles at me, and I see the relief in his eyes. "You're making the right choice."

"I think I am," I tell him, and then I remember something else. "Wait, I need to let the guy who was after me beat me up, so everyone else can go home too."

"He's being dealt with."

No. Not again. "I can't keep letting everyone rescue me. I need to own up to things."

"I was told you didn't know the chick was with someone."

"I didn't."

"Then, it's not your problem, is it?"

"I guess not," I tell him, realizing he's right.

Maybe I should've asked, but I didn't know, and I'm not responsible for what the woman I was with did to him. I'm responsible for other things, but not that. It's time for me to work on those other things, and get my life together. Once I'm in a good place, I'll go to Viv, and beg her to give me chance number three.

### Viv

"I took care of the guy," X tells me, walking outside where I'm playing with Micah.

It's been three days since Rhys left, and I've done everything I can to stay busy, and not think about him. Which means I think about him every minute of every day. Rhieve told me he's okay physically, but she wouldn't tell me anything else. He's her brother, and I understand her loyalty belongs to him, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. It's killing me not to know what's going on.

"Thank you."

"I'm taking Micah home tomorrow, but I wasn't sure if you were heading back with us."

"I am. I can't stay here, and wait for something that might never happen. Rhys can find me."

"About that. I was thinking you could stay on with us, taking care of Micah."

"I don't know if that's a good idea."

"Yeah, probably not. I mean, we both know we wouldn't do anything, but other people might think we are, and if that got back to Seri before I can find her and fix things..."

"Exactly. I don't want Rhys thinking anything either."

"After the way you've been coming at me when I fight with him, I'm fairly certain he knows you're not interested in me."

"True, but it's still best for me to leave your employment."

"I'm sure we can find something for you at C&C."

"Reina already offered me a job, so I'm good."

"Okay, cool. Is she giving you a C&C apartment? The house is kind of a mess right now, but the guesthouses seem to be in good condition. You're welcome to stay in one of them."

"She did offer me an apartment, but thanks." I place a hand on his forearm, because he needs help, whether he wants it or not. "I want to help you in any way I can with Seri. I can look for her, or talk to her, or whatever else you think might help."

He runs a hand through his hair, and looks to the sky for answers. "I'm not sure what I need yet. I have to find her, though. Nothing's going to stop me when it comes to her."

"Good."

"I believe he'll come back to you as well. He knows what he has, and he's not stupid enough to lose you for good."

"He's not stupid at all, but he's hurting, and he thinks he's bad for me. Those two on their own would be a bad combination, but with that guy you dealt with thrown in, it's nuclear. All I'm hoping for now is that he's safe."

"He is."

Wait, what? "How do you know that?"

"He left his passport here when he ran, and I had to get it for him so he could go home."

"Home? He's coming with us?"

X shakes his head. "No, he's already gone."

"And no one thought I needed to know this?"

"He asked us not to tell you," Rhieve says, coming down the stairs to the grass. "He has a good reason for it, though."

"Let me guess—you can't tell me the reason."

"No."

"I'm trying here, Rhieve. I said I wouldn't run, and I won't, but I also won't compromise myself. Your brother fucked me, insulted me, and then ran."

"Just please give him a little time. Please."

"I'll give him time. Not forever, but some time."

"Thank you."

She walks away, and I slump down onto the ground. "Did I make a mistake?"

"No. Anyone can see how much he loves you."

"What if that's not enough?"

"We're going to have to hope it will be. For Rhys, and for Seri."

He's right. Things have gone badly for both of us, and all we have left is love. Ours—and theirs. It has to be enough, because I didn't get Rhys back just to lose him, and X, well if he loses Seri for good, I don't know how any of us will survive the meltdown he'll have. So yes, we're going to hope that love will be enough.

# Chapter 12

### Rhys

My first therapy session went about as well as could be expected. Nate brought me from Norwich straight to the C&C building, and the counseling floor I didn't even know existed before now. His doctor fit me in, but I just sat in her office, staring at the abstract paintings on the walls.

He said she wouldn't push me to talk, and she didn't. The quiet nearly drove me insane, but she just sat there, and let me be. When the little chime came, alerting us that time was up, I breathed a sigh of relief, but she merely smiled at me. How could she stand that much silence? I didn't ask, and she didn't offer, so I just got up, and left.

"How did it go?" Nate asks, when I walk out into the lobby.

"I didn't talk."

"Oh."

"She's nice, but I'm just not into this."

"I thought you wanted to try to make things work with Vivienne."

"You're seriously going to try and guilt me into therapy."

"Nope. I'm just going to remind you of what you say you want. If you've changed your mind, that's cool. But, if you haven't, you need to do everything you can to be the man you want to be."

He's right. I know he's right. And, I also know I didn't give this therapy thing the chance I need to. "Fine. I'll make another appointment."

"She's waiting for you now."

"What?"

"I had the doc book two hours for you, because I had a feeling this would be hard for you. It was hard for me, too."

"I don't know whether to punch you, or hug you."

"How about we just shake hands, because if you punch me, I'll punch you back. And hugs are cool sometimes, but I don't know you like that. Yet."

I can't help smiling as I reach out, and shake his hand. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. Now, don't keep the lady waiting any longer."

I walk back inside, wishing the doctor would smile, or even smirk at me, but she's still got the serene, blank look on her face. "Welcome back, Rhys."

"I don't want to talk about this stuff. I hate even thinking about it, and if I'm being honest, talking about it terrifies me."

"We can sit here for another hour of not talking if that's what you need."

"I need to feel better about myself."

"No one else can do that for you. I certainly don't have a magic wand to make that happen."

"Working hard doesn't scare me."

"What does scare you?" she asks, taking off her glasses, and leaning toward me.

"Losing the woman I love for a second time."

She puts her glasses back on, and sits back. "You can't be here for her."

"I'm here for _us_."

"You have to be sure about that, because you'll be wasting both of our time if you're not fully committed to facing your demons, and letting me help you slay them."

"I'm sure. I can't live the way I've been living. Even without Viv, I can't keep this up. I'm destroying myself, and I won't allow them to have the power to do that to me. The people who kidnapped broke me, and it's time for me to put myself back together."

"Okay. Let's talk."

I spend the next hour talking non-stop. I tell her everything. Things I never thought I'd be able to tell another person. Things I'm ashamed of, and things I'm angry about. It all comes out, and I'm honestly drained once I walk out of the room.

"You talked," Nate says when he sees me.

"It's that obvious?"

"To someone who's been through it, and could barely stand after the first time, yes. You need to sleep now."

"Yeah, I do. Thanks again for everything."

"You're welcome."

I walk out of the building feeling exhausted, but also a little better. Not a lot, because this won't be an easy fix, but a little. Enough to make me think I'll be able to contact Viv soon. Not yet, because I need to be getting better when I see her again, but soon.

I go back to the apartment I was given in the C&C building, and crash hard. For once, I welcome sleep, and even the nightmares that might come with it. Something happened in that room with the doctor, something I never expected—I felt safe, and free. Free to talk, and free to hurt. I didn't tell Nate I cried, and he acted as though he didn't see my red eyes, but I cried, and I'm feeling absolutely no shame for it.

### Viv

The flight back to Vegas was uneventful, and long. It probably felt longer because of the turmoil I was feeling, but there's no help for that right now. I'm starting my life over again for a third time, when I didn't even expect to do that once. Two months ago, I was still living life as a shell of a person, and now I'm feeling everything. No matter what else happens, I'll never allow myself to feel nothing again.

"I had your stuff packed up and brought here," Stella tells me in the car. "You can go shopping in my closet at the Foundation for anything else you'll need for work.:

"Thanks, but I don't even know what I'm doing yet."

"Reina always has a plan, so once she shares it with you, just stop in. If I'm not there, my assistant, Kevin, will be."

"Thank you."

The car drops us in the underground garage, and Faith shows me the cars I can choose from to use as my own for as long as I need one. I pick a royal blue Tesla, and happily take the keys from her. After, they leave me at the Security desk for a tour of the building and grounds, which are awe-inspiring. I get to choose between a few apartments, and pick one that has bright furniture, and cool paintings and sculptures all over. I notice Owen Griffin's signature on a few, and I'm not surprised. The Griffins and Corrigans are like family to each other.

Once I'm settled in, I take the elevator up to Reina and Matt's penthouse. She told me to stop by anytime, and she has a smile on her face when she opens her door.

"Thanks for coming by, Viv. I heard you picked one of the more fun apartments, and I think it's a great choice for you."

"I should be the one thanking you. This is all more than I expected when I asked you for help."

"It's more than we usually give, although every person we help gets a new start. With you, things were always going to be a little different, because of your connection to Rhieve, and Rhys."

"I could've lived more simply. I truly wasn't expecting any special treatment."

"I know. You're not the first women from a wealthy family who's needed our help, and many of them are living lives the 'gala set' wouldn't dream of living. They're safe and happy, so nothing else is important."

"I was happy at the diner."

"Yes, but you'll be happier with Rhys, and I'll be happier having your help at the Foundation, and with the Society."

"I'm happy to do whatever you need me to."

"I'd like you to help us do for others what we did for you, but also a little exta."

"I'd love that."

"Perfect. Get yourself settled, order groceries and whatever else you need from the concierge desk, and we can talk tomorrow, or the next day. There's no rush if you want to relax for an extra day."

"I'd rather be busy, if that's okay."

"I understand, and that leads me into something else I need to tell you. Rhys lives here."

"Oh. Okay."

"Is it?"

"Honestly, no, but I'll deal with it. I knew I'd probably see him at C&C."

"You'll have to talk to him about that if you see him."

Huh? Why would I have to talk to him about C&C. Unless, X did something. "Did X fire him?"

"No. I'm sorry, but that's all I can tell you."

"I understand."

Reina pulls me in for a hug, rubbing my back as she continues to speak. "I know how hard it is to be patient when the man you love pushes you way, and I wouldn't blame you for moving on, but I'm going to ask you to give him a chance to make things right."

I move from her embrace, and shake my head. "When I was still in hiding, everyone was trying to protect me from Rhys. Now that my divorce papers have been signed, everyone's now his champion. I love that everyone wants to help him, but the sudden change is a little jarring."

"We weren't so much protecting you from him, but from who he might be giving information to. No one—especially Rhieve—wanted to believe he would tell your parents or husband where you were, but we couldn't take that chance. And, I'll admit to thinking he was being protected when he needed to fight his own battles, but that makes me guilty of a double-standard, and I try hard not to be that person."

"Just because he's a man doesn't mean he needs less help than a woman in the same situation."

"Exactly. Right now, we're going to be his biggest cheerleaders because he's trying to fix what's broken inside of him, and that's the hardest thing a person will ever have to do."

"You offered to teach me how to fight, and shoot a gun. I'd like to learn now."

She quirks an eyebrow at me as she crosses her arms. "We didn't learn those things to exact revenge."

"No, but you can't tell me they've never been used for it. I need to avenge him."

"I'm afraid it's too late for that."

"Rhieve," I say, knowing she would have needed the vengeance I want for myself.

"As you said, we sometimes use what we learn to exact revenge. I don't always condone it, but sometimes I stand back, and let it happen."

"Thank you for that."

"You're welcome."

Her son wakes up, crying over the baby monitor on the coffee table. She picks it up with a smile, and I'm reminded of how much I want a child of my own. One with dark hair, and the hint of a dimple when he smirks. Just like Rhys.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yes. Have a good night, Viv."

"I will."

Once I've visited the concierge, and ordered everything I need, including dinner, I walk to the elevator. As I'm waiting, I hear some guys coming inside. They're trash-talking each other, and I suck in a breath as I recognize Rhys' voice.

_Don't turn. Don't turn. Don't turn._

Telling myself that doesn't work, because as they come closer, I totally turn to look. Rhys fumbles a step as he sees me, and the smile drops from his face. It shouldn't hurt as much as it does, but I want him to be happy to see me, and he isn't. I force myself to turn back around as the conversation behind me stops. The elevator doors open, and I step inside, pressing the button for my floor, and keeping my eyes averted from the open door. No one else gets on, and I sink to the floor for the ride up, feeling like I've lost everything once again.

# Chapter 13

### Rhys

"I should've said something to her."

"Not if you're not ready," Nate tells me, but we both know I just did the wrong thing.

"'Hello' isn't a hard thing to say, and she deserves that, at least."

"It would've been nice, but what's done is done."

"I can't leave it like this with her,"

"Do you need me to go talk to her?"

"No. Thanks, but I need to take care of this myself." I turn, and walk over to the Concierge Desk, which I'm told is a recent addition to the lobby.

"Hello, Rhys, is there something I can help you with?"

"Hi. I was wondering if Vivienne ordered dinner?"

"Yes, she did. It will be here in a few minutes. Did you want to order something?"

"No, but I'd like to take it up to her apartment, if that's okay."

"Oh, Sure. Do you want me to call you when it arrives?"

"No, I'll wait here."

"I'll see you later, man," Nate tells me with a smile.

I walk over to one of the couches, which were also not here last time I visited Rhieve, and wait for the delivery. When it comes, I tip the guy, and start for the elevators, before remembering I don't know her apartment number. This isn't going to look suspicious at all.

"I am completely drawing a blank on her apartment number," I say to the woman at the desk, bringing a little dimple action into play.

She looks nervous and unsure, probably because this hasn't happened to her before. "I'm not sure I can give you that info."

"What info?" Matt asks, walking up to the desk.

"He's asking for another person's apartment number."

Matt looks at me, and then the bag in my hand. "Did she order that, or are you just assuming she's hungry?"

I motion him away from the desk, because I want to tell the truth, but I don't need a complete stranger to hear it. "She ordered. We ran into each other a little while ago, and I didn't handle it well."

"How bad was it?"

"I just stared at her, and didn't say a word."

"Damn. Okay, I'll tell you, but you've got to up your game. Like, seriously. It's great that you're working on yourself, but you can't leave her behind while you do it. Not if you want her to be there when you're ready for her."

"Any suggestions on how to do that?"

He laughs, and nods. "Don't sleep with other woman when it's her you want. Don't even date them. And, be there for her as a friend if you're not ready to be her lover. I made so many mistakes with Reina, and I'm lucky she forgave me, but those things I mentioned are the things that still haunt me. If I could go back in time and change anything at all, I would've treated her better and let her know there would never be anyone else for me."

"I'm sensing a theme here since Nate said he messed up with Jade, too."

"Yeah, if you talk to any guy in this building, you're going to hear about what jackasses we were when it came to our women. We're all a bunch of lucky SOBs, that's for sure."

"I'm not feeling so bad about things right now, so thanks for that."

"Glad my former misery could help you out. Good talk."

He gives me the apartment number I need, and we ride in the elevator together, although my stop is several floors lower than his. I'm alone now, and I can't even pretend to be confident as I stand outside Viv's door.

Before I can knock, it opens, and there she is. Her eyes go wide when they see me, and they're even wider when she sees the bag in my hand. I hold it out to her like it's a precious gift, and she grabs it, pulling it to her chest.

"Why do you have my dinner?"

"Because I was an ass downstairs, and I needed to apologize."

"Go ahead."

"Damn, I thought I'd never see this feisty side of you again."

"I'm waiting."

"I'm sorry I didn't even say hello to you downstairs."

"That's a good start."

"Start?"

"I believe you have other things to apologize to me for. If you're not ready to do it now, you can come back when you are."

She turns to walk away, but I grab her arm. "I'm sorry for hurting you in Cardiff. I was in a bad place, but I never should've taken it out on you."

"No, you shouldn't have."

"Can we talk?"

She looks like she might deny me, but then she nods. "Yes, but you're not getting any of my food."

"Deal."

I follow her inside, and wait while she makes herself a plate of the pasta I carried up for her. There's some left, and it looks really good, but I'm not about to ask if I can have it. She said I couldn't, and I can certainly wait to eat until after we've talked.

"Do you want the rest of this?"

"Yes, but I know you don't want to share."

"That was petty of me, and I hate being petty."

"I remember," I tell her, walking over to her kitchen island, and taking a seat.

She smiles while opening the refrigerator. "Beer?"

"No, thanks. I'm staying away from alcohol right now."

"Do tell."

"Nate, Aiden, Matt, Jake, and Theo agreed to help me work out, and learn to fight. Plus, I'm doing some other stuff, and alcohol just doesn't seem like a good idea right now."

"Reina said you weren't working with X, but she also said he didn't fire you."

"No, I'm not fired. Just taking a break."

"Oh, okay."

She looks confused and I don't blame her, but I'm not ready to tell her everything yet. I need to divert, so I just dive right in to the reason I wanted to talk to her.

"Do you think we could be friends again?"

"Friends? You want to be friends with me?"

"Yeah. I do."

### Viv

Three words a woman—or man—never want to hear from the person they're in love with are "let's be friends". Rhys didn't say that exactly, but it's pretty much the same. I want everything, and he's friend-zoning me.

"I don't know how to answer that," I tell him honestly.

"Is it such a bad thing to be friends with me?"

"Only when I want more."

"Oh," he says, his eyes going wide. "I want more too, but this is what I have to offer right now."

"So, you don't want to date other women?"

"What? No. Not at all. Never."

"Never?"

"Never. It's all you."

I see the truth in his eyes, so I know he means it, but I'm not sure I can do this with him. "We can try."

"We were good friends."

"The best."

"It's all I've got, Viv."

"You keep saying that, but it's not making this any easier for me. Can you tell me why this is all you've got for me?"

"Not yet."

"You're asking me for a lot, and giving me nothing in return."

"I'm a good friend when I try, and I'll try harder for you than I've ever tried in my life."

How can I say no to that? "Okay. Friends."

"Thank you."

I don't say anything, because I don't know what to say. I was heartbroken when he didn't acknowledge me, hopeful when I saw him in the hallway with my food, and now I'm a little sad. Sad, and disappointed.

"I'm going to start working with Reina tomorrow," I say, trying to break this awkward silence we've descended into. "She asked me to help women like me, who have to be hidden."

"You'll be great at that."

"I hope so."

"You will."

His faith in me makes me feel better. He was always my biggest champion when we were friends, and then lovers, and I know he'll support me now.

"Thanks."

"Do you want to go to a movie tomorrow?" he blurts out, turning red. It's the most adorable thing I've seen in a long time. "As friends, I mean. To celebrate your new job."

"Yes. I'd like that."

"You can pick."

"Can we go to the movie theater downtown where they serve you dinner?"

"Sure."

I start to think about what I want to wear, and then stop myself. This isn't a date, and it doesn't matter what I wear. I try to keep the smile on my face, but it must've slipped, because Rhys reaches out to take my hand.

"What's wrong, Vivs?"

"Nothing."

"People only say that when it's something."

"Or when it's nothing."

"Tell me. We're friends, remember?"

"Okay, friend. What do I do when I want to dress for a date, but it's not one?"

He blows out a long breath. "You dress the way you want, and know your friend is going to appreciate whatever you choose."

"I'll probably just throw on jeans and a t-shirt."

"Whatever you want."

No, it's not. It's not at all what I want. But, it's what I have, and it's more than what I had yesterday. Being thankful for small favors has never been so hard before.

# Chapter 14

### Rhys

"I saw Viv last night," I tell my therapist, Maura, the next day. I'm seeing her daily, because I need to.

"How did that go?"

"Bad, then a little better."

"Care to elaborate?"

I chuckle, but tell her what happened. She listens, nodding a few times, before shaking her head.

"You're making me nervous," I admit.

"Matt is a great guy, but I think either he gave you bad advice, or you took what he said the wrong way."

"You don't think I should be friends with Viv?"

"Of course, you should be friends with her. But, you left things in a bad place with her in Wales, and now you're putting her in the friend-zone the first time you see her. She's got to be a saint for agreeing."

"She is. And I guess I just needed to do something—say something—to try and connect with her."

"You didn't tell her you were talking to me, did you?"

"No. I'm not ready."

"I don't want you doing anything you don't feel you can, but I have to caution you to be ready for the consequences. Your friends in this building know you're seeing me, but the woman you love doesn't. It's going to hurt her if you wait too long to tell her, and she realizes she was the last to know."

"They won't tell."

"No, but eventually you'll have to."

She's right, but there has to be a way to make it better for both me and Viv. "Can it happen here, with you?"

"Yes, but it may not make a difference to her. I'll be here to support you, and advocate on your behalf, but it's up to you to make amends if it she's hurt. I just want you to understand that."

"I do."

The rest of the session goes well, as we talk about what I'm doing to help myself cope with letting my past go. It's intense, but soothing, and I feel like I'll one day be back to the way I was before everything bad happened. Back to when Viv and I were teens, and the actions of others forced us apart. Now, I'm the one who's doing that myself, but I'll make it better. I have to.

"How's your day going?" Rhieve asks when I join her for lunch later.

"My session went well."

"Good. Viv's here, starting work today."

"I know."

"Oh. I didn't know Reina talked to you about it."

"She didn't. Viv told me last night."

"Last night?"

"Long story short, we're friends."

She puts down her fork, and pins me with a glare. "Please tell me you didn't give her a 'let's be friends' talk."

"It wasn't like that."

"Why are men so stupid?" she asks, groaning.

"You and Calum were friends first."

"When we were kids, and you've already been friends first with Viv."

"Yeah, but we need to get that back. The trust, and all."

"You sound like you're trying to convince yourself, which just goes to show what a bad idea this is."

"Well, what's a good idea?"

"You honestly want to know what I think?"

"I do."

"Instead of asking her to start over as friends with you, ask her to officially be your girlfriend for the first time. Act like you're thirteen again, and wanting to hold her hand."

Whoa. Sometimes my sister really gets it. Probably more than sometimes, but I'm not going to tell her that. I _will_ tell her what I think right now, though.

"You're right."

"Took you long enough to realize it. You should've come to me first."

"Yeah, yeah. You're the best. Blah, blah, blah."

"You realize how often you live up to the annoying little brother stereotype, right?"

"Just keeping you on your toes, Sis."

"Calum does that enough for everyone. You just worry about you and Viv."

"I do. I worry all the time," I admit, getting serious again.

"She's upstairs in Stella's closet, picking out some work clothes."

"If you don't mind me ditching you, I think I'll head up there to see if I can help her choose something for our date."

"Date?"

"It was supposed to be just a movie with a friend, but I like the idea of a first date much better."

"So do I. Go get your woman, little bro."

I kiss her forehead before taking my tray to where it goes. As I take the elevator up I try to plan what to say, but in the end, I decide to just bare my heart to Viv. She already owns it, so it should be easy. Yeah, I'm not dumb enough to believe that, but a guy can start to hope, can't he?

### Viv

I'm in Stella's closet, choosing work clothes, but coveting the fun and flirty dresses I see on another rack. If the situation was better, I'd be asking for one to wear tonight. But, it's just a movie with a friend. I have to keep reminding myself of that, because it feels like so much more.

"You can have some of those dresses you keep looking at," Stella tells me with a smile.

"Those are date dresses, and I won't be going on any dates."

Her assistant, Kevin, waves his hand at me. "You could have a date in seconds. Half the cafeteria had their tongues on the ground when you were in there earlier."

"I don't want any of those guys."

"Good."

I turn to see Rhys standing in the doorway. His hair is messy, and he's in jeans and a t-shirt. He looks like the boy I fell in love with, and I have to grab the clothing rack, so I don't grab _him_.

"Rhys, did we have an appointment?"

He speaks to Stella, but doesn't take his eyes off mine. "No, I'm here for Viv."

"Viv?" she asks, but I don't look her way. All I can do is nod. "Kevin and I will give you some privacy."

"Do we have to?" he asks.

"Yes."

Once the door closes, Rhys moves to stand directly in front of me. "Hi."

"Hello."

"I made a mistake last night."

My face falls as I wonder what he did. Was he with someone else? "Another woman?"

"What? I told you there was no one but you. How could you even think that?"

"This isn't easy for me, Rhys."

"I know, and I'm trying."

"So am I."

"We can't move forward if you're not going to believe me when I tell you something."

"Doling out little bits of information to me isn't making it easy for me to believe you."

"I'm just going to go now, because this isn't going at all like it was supposed to."

"Yeah, just run from me again, like always."

"That's not fair, Viv."

"None of this is fair, but if you're going to keep running every time we hit a rough spot, you might as well just stay away."

He turns his head away, and I see the tic in his jaw as he holds back from saying more. "Have a great life."

"You too."

And then he's gone. Again. Only this time, I'm pretty sure it's the end.

"Are you okay?" Stella asks, rushing back in.

"No, but I'm going to have to be."

"Rhys looked really upset, if that's any consolation."

"It's not, but thanks. I know he loves me, but he can't get past himself."

"From what I've heard, he's struggling."

"He is, but so am I. Everyone seems to forget that."

"We're not forgetting, but we're prioritizing. Right now, he needs more help than you do. That doesn't diminish what you're feeling, but it does come into play."

"He wouldn't even tell me what's going on, so I'm not feeling as generous right now."

"I understand."

"Thanks for the clothes. I think I'm done for now, and I'm just going to head over to my office."

"Of course. I'll have the clothes taken to your apartment."

"I appreciate it."

I head straight to my office, and slump over my desk, resting my head on the surface. This is all such a mess, and a part of me wishes I'd never upset the balance of my old world. If I'd just left things as they were, I'd still be miserable, but I wouldn't have the hope I'd felt when Rhys said he still loved me.

The knock at my door forces me to lift my head, and clear those thoughts out of it. "Come in."

"Hey, Viv. I'm about to go out, and check on one of the women we have in hiding. Reina thought you might like to come along," Jade asks, as she walks in.

"Oh. Sure. That would be great."

She tilts her head, sighs, and then nods. "We can talk after, if you'd like."

"Talk?"

"Yeah. I think we need to, but I'll explain later."

"Okay."

I don't know what she needs to talk to me about, but it sounds serious. Then again, she often looks serious when I see her. There are times, when she's with her husband, Nate, where she's absolutely glowing with happiness and laughter, but most of the time, she's pretty intense. It's intimidating, and I expect that's the point, but I'm not sure I want all that intensity directed at me.

# Chapter 15

### Viv

The house Jade drives us to isn't the same one I overnighted at, but it looks similar. I guess that's the point—blending in. She's even driving a simple Toyota Camry instead of the tricked-out Audi I saw her getting into this morning. I take mental notes, because all of these little details will help me do the job Reina hired me for.

After parking, Jade walks with purpose towards the front door, and I follow her, trying to match her stride. Everything is quiet on this street, and nothing seems out of the ordinary when the woman opens the door. She looks scared, but so did I for those first few days after I escaped.

"I wasn't expecting you so early," the woman says, and now I'm getting a sense that there's something going on.

Jade reaches for the gun at her back, letting me know she's feeling something's off as well. "Can we come in?"

"Not today. I just need to be alone."

Before I know what's happening, Jade's pushed the woman aside and has her gun raised as she runs inside. I move to follow her, but I'm grabbed from behind. The barrel of a gun is against my temple, and a muscular arm bands my own, keeping me from moving. I haven't had any of the training Reina promised me, so I'm helpless to fight.

"We're going to go inside. Not a peep out of you, or I'm pulling this trigger."

I have no choice as he moves me with him towards the door. The woman is still standing there, her hand over her mouth now. I don't know how he found her, but I know I'm in trouble. I want to yell, and warn Jade, but I also want to live.

"Where is he?" Jade asks, coming down the stairs, and freezing when she sees us.

"Put the gun down," the man tells her.

"I'm sorry! I know you said not to call him, but I missed him!" The woman is wailing now, realizing how wrong she was to believe this man and his lies again.

"I'm an expert markswoman, and I can easily shoot you before you shoot anyone else," Jade tells him, her voice calm and icy.

"I wouldn't take that chance if I were you," he says, pressing the gun firmly into my temple.

"Good thing, I'm not you," she replies, pulling the trigger.

The man holding me jerks back as blood, and other things I don't want to identify, hit the side of my face. The gun goes off as he falls, and I feel a sharp pain in my shoulder. I realize my own blood is flowing down my arm, and it makes me feel like I'm going to faint.

"Viv!" Jade yells, but it sounds far away.

I see her running toward me, as my eyes begin to close, and my body pitches forward, but I can't say anything. It's like my mouth is sewn together while my body is torn open. Arms catch me before I hit the ground, and I know it's her, so I let my eyes close all the way and welcome the darkness that takes me away from it all.

### Rhys

After things went south with Viv, I headed to the private Society gym to let off some steam. I probably shouldn't have reacted so badly to her questioning me, because I've let her down before, but I let myself hope for the best. It's not really her fault I was disappointed. I know that logically, but my heart is still a little battered and I let it guide me instead.

As I up the incline on the treadmill, pushing myself harder, the door in front of me opens, and Nate runs in. "We have to go!"

"Go where?" I ask, slowing the machine down.

"Jade and Viv walked into something bad, and they're on the way downstairs to the medical wing."

"Is she hurt?"

"Yes."

I jump off the machine, even though I know better, and race for the door. The elevator is waiting for us at the end of the hall, and it's not fast enough. I feel it rushing down, but I need it to go faster. I need to get to Viv.

"Take some deep breaths before you pass out, Rhys."

"We just had a fight, and I walked out on her again. Why did I do that?"

"Because you're still healing."

"I should've stayed, and taken what she was dishing out. I started the conversation badly, by telling her I made a mistake. With my past, I can't blame her for thinking the worst. I should've stayed and told her what I meant."

"Staying is hard, but yeah, it's important. You can't dwell on that now, or you're going to make yourself insane. Just think about her being alive."

"How bad is it?"

"I don't know. Reina said she's been shot, but that's all I know."

"Shot?" I ask, stumbling out of the elevator.

"It's not bad," Rhieve says, rushing to me. "She's going to be okay."

"Where is she? I need to see her?"

"She'll be here in a few minutes. You have to let Kenny do his job, and then you can go to her."

"No. I need to be in there."

"Stella told us you fought this morning, and Viv's going to need to be calm and stable while Kenny works on her."

"I wouldn't upset her."

"You wouldn't want to, but it happens sometimes, and I know you don't want to cause her more pain."

"No, I don't."

"Let's sit down, and wait. I'm going to stay here with you, okay? I'm here for you, Rhys."

"Thank you."

Nate doesn't speak at all, but takes the seat next to me in the waiting area. Most of the Society is already here, but no one is saying a word. That worries me more than almost anything else. If things were really okay, they'd be talking.

When a set of wide doors bangs open, and I see Viv on a stretcher, I stand quickly, only to almost pass out as she's rushed past us. Rhieve holds me up as Nate runs to Jade.

He runs his hands all over her face, and shoulders, before kissing her forehead, and whispering in her ear. She hugs him tightly, and shakes her head. I feel like I shouldn't be watching this, but I can't look away.

Once he's sure she's okay, Nate leads Jade over to us. She looks distraught as she approaches Reina. "I thought he was in the house."

"I know. This isn't your fault."

"I should've seen his finger on the trigger when I shot him."

Reina stands, and places her hands on Jade's shoulders. "You saved all three of you."

"Viv shouldn't have been shot."

"Stop it, Jade. You know nothing ever goes exactly as planned with what we do. Stop blaming yourself. Viv is going to be fine."

"That's true, right? She didn't look good," I say, unable to keep quiet any longer.

"Yes. She got shot in the shoulder, but it was a through and through, and didn't hit an artery."

"Thank God."

### Viv

When I wake up, I'm in a hospital bed, my shoulder is bandaged up, and Rhys is sleeping in a chair next to me. My hand is in his, and he looks so young and innocent, making my heart hurt for the days when we both were those things. I lift my other hand to brush his hair from his face, and the pain nearly makes me scream.

I don't realize I'm squeezing his hand until he startles awake, and looks at me. "You're awake."

"Yes," I grit out.

"Pain? Push the button on IV line, and you'll get more meds."

"Will they put me to sleep again?"

"I'm not sure, but probably."

"Then, no. Not yet."

"You shouldn't be in pain."

"We need to talk about why you're here."

"I'll be here when you wake up again."

"No. You didn't want to stay with me when I was okay, so you don't get to stay just because I'm hurt."

"I knew I did the wrong thing before you were hurt. Again. I keep doing and saying the wrong things."

"Yes." I don't want to be a bitch, but I'm so tired of this push and pull with him. I want to help him, but he won't let me. I'm too tired to keep fighting for a man who doesn't really want me.

"When I told you I made a mistake, it wasn't about someone else. It was about me asking you to be my friend."

"So, you don't want to be friends now?"

"I do, but I don't. I'm not explaining this well."

"No, you're not," I tell him, wincing as another wave of pain hits me.

"Take your meds, and we'll talk more when you wake up again."

"No. I'd like you to leave. I can't deal with both you and this injury right now."

"Don't make me leave. Please."

"I'm not in a position to make you do anything, but I'm asking."

He lets go of my hand, and stands up. "I'll go."

"Thank you."

I don't think about how lost I felt when he let go of my hand, or how I wanted him to stay, because he never stays. No matter what words come out of his mouth or what I want to believe, he always walks away from me. Getting shot and thinking I might die, made me realize I can't keep holding onto him if he's not sure he wants to be with me. My heart wants to, but I know I can't.

### Rhys

I pace outside Maura's office, waiting for her to finish up with her current client. I know whoever it is will exit from the other side, so I don't see them, but I don't really care who's in there with her. All I care about is that I'm not.

When Viv woke up and kicked me out of her hospital room, I wanted to go to the nearest bar and find someone to fuck. It's not what I really want, but it was my first reaction. She sent me away when I was trying to stay, and I don't know how to deal with it. Especially because she wasn't wrong.

I've run from anything difficult in my life for too long, and it's time to stop. I'd already planned on staying with her no matter what, but she doesn't know that. I can't blame her for not believing me, but I need her to. I just don't know how to do it.

"Rhys, come on in," the doc says, opening her door.

"Viv was shot," I say, before the door even closes.

"Is she okay?"

"Yes. Maybe. She kicked me out of her hospital room, but I know she's in pain. Kendrick says she's going to be fine physically, but she was in so much pain, and I couldn't do anything. I hated not being able to do anything."

"Let's get back to her kicking you out. When I saw you this morning, things seemed like they were going well."

"I messed up when I saw her, and walked away. She thinks I only went to her because she got shot."

"Did you?"

"No, but how can she believe me when all I ever do is run?"

"She can't until you show her she can."

"I don't want to run anymore."

"So stay. Even when she won't talk to you, stay and show her you're there."

"That's the plan, but what if it's not enough?"

"If that happens—and with all I know, I think it's a big 'if'—you'll have to accept her choice."

"No."

"No? You're still struggling with having your own choice taken from you, but you're not going to honor Vivienne's choice?"

Damn. This is why she's so good at her job. "I'll have to."

"Yes, you will. But, before that happens, you're going to do everything you can to prove to her you've changed. I'm willing to help if you'll give me permission."

"Please. You can have any permission you'd like."

"Don't say that until you know what I have in mind."

She tells me what she wants to do, and it scares the hell out of me. I still give her my permission, because it might just work. If not, I'm in no worse place than I am now.

# Chapter 16

### Viv

The next time I wake up, Kendrick's in the room with me. He's the Society doctor, and while he speaks very properly with his African accent, I know he's also got a wicked sense of humor. I saw a little bit of it when he was checking me out before I went into hiding.

"Good morning, Vivienne."

"Is it morning already?"

"Yes, it is. How are you feeling?"

"Groggy, but the pain isn't too bad."

"Good to hear. There's someone who'd like to speak to you if you're up to it."

"I can't see Rhys right now."

"It's not Rhys, although those are all from him."

He gestures to the other side of me, and I turn my head, seeing every kind of flower imaginable taking over every space available. "Oh. Wow."

"Yes. I imagine he doesn't know your favorite, since they're all different."

My eyes tear up as I shake my head. "No, he knows they're all my favorites. I love every kind of flower."

"I see. Perhaps you were too harsh when you sent him away."

"There's only so much a person can take."

"We believe that, but until you're faced with having to take more than you thought you could, you don't really know what your limit is."

"I suppose not."

He looks down at his tablet, then back up at me. "Your visitor is outside. Shall I send her in?"

"Oh yes. Sure."

Kendrick pats my knee before leaving the room. A woman I've never seen before walks in a minute or so later. She has grey hair, and kind eyes. "Hello, Vivienne. I'm Maura."

"Hi."

"You're probably wondering why I'm here, so I'll spare you the confusion. I'm Rhys' doctor."

"Doctor?"

"Therapist."

Oh! "He's seeing you voluntarily?"

She lets out a hearty laugh. "Yes, he is. I wouldn't tell you this without his permission, but he's given me the freedom to tell you anything, and answer any questions you might have. I do want you to know that he'd like to tell you these things himself, but he understands your reluctance to believe him right now."

"If I'm being honest, just knowing he's seeing someone is giving me a little more faith in whatever it is you think you need to tell me."

"Good, because he's committed to getting better, and you're a big part of the reason for that. He has to want it on his own, and he does, but he also wants it for you. He thinks he's not 'clean' enough, or 'good' enough for you, but that's something you have to decide."

"What happened to him wasn't his fault. His behavior before and after is what he's responsible for, but there's nothing wrong with him sleeping with other willing partners. I had no claim on him then, and I don't hold any of it against him. I've tried to make him see that, but he won't."

"You think you had no claim on him, but you did. He's told me that he's been in love with you since he was thirteen, and that he never stopped loving you. I know he was forced from you, but I believe him when he says you've always had his heart."

"I can't take him running from me every time he doesn't like something I say."

"You really thought he was going to confess to cheating on you when he told you he'd made a mistake?"

"Yes. We weren't officially together, so maybe he wouldn't think of it as cheating."

"Official? Does that word mean so much to you that you'd ignore everything else?"

I think about it, and nod. "I'm sorry, but yes. Maybe if he didn't run away after professing his love, or telling me there would never be anyone else, I'd believe him. But, right now, I'm not in a place to risk myself over and over again. I don't want to live a life of always wondering if he's going to get upset, and leave me again."

"That's understandable, but there is much you don't know."

"So, tell me. You said you could."

"He was going to tell you he was wrong about asking you to be friends, when he really wants to be your boyfriend. He's never 'officially' been that before, and he wants to have that label very badly."

I move my hand to my heart, ignoring the twinge of pain that causes. "Really?"

"Yes. He needs to take things slow, but he wants to go on dates, hold your hand, and kiss you."

"That's so sweet, and romantic, and oh God, I messed it up!"

She smiles at me, and pats my arm. "You did what you needed to do at the time, in order to protect yourself. I can assure the offer is still on the table if you'll allow him to ask you."

"I will. I completely will." There's something I need to know from her, and since we're being honest, I go ahead and ask. "Do you think he'll ever be able to make love to me, knowing it's me, and all?"

"Yes. He's not quite there yet, but he will be. I know it's hard to be patient when you've waited so long, but if you can be patient with Rhys, I have a good feeling about things working out. I would also like you to come to some of his sessions when he's ready for that."

"Of course. Anything he needs."

"He needs you, Vivienne. I don't like to say this about my patients, because I want them to learn to stand on your own, but he needs you."

### Rhys

"Stop fidgeting," Rhieve tells me, as I play with the pens on her desk, and spin around in her chair. I got here before her, so I called dibs.

"My psychologist is meeting with the women I love, and I have no control over how the conversation is going. I'd say I have a right to be nervous."

"No matter what happens, you can't run. If you run again, I'll be on Viv's side, and tell her to move on."

"I'd be offended, but I know you're right. I'm done running. It's time for me to stay and fight. For myself, and for Viv."

"Does that mean you're coming back to work soon?"

"Yeah. X trusts me now, so he's going to actually let me work. I promised to help him find Seri, too."

She shakes her head. "I can't believe he hasn't found her yet."

"She's completely off the grid. She forwarded her mail to his house, and withdrew all the cash she had. I'm pretty sure she could live for several years on that alone. I'm also sure Lennon knows where she is, but when X tried to go near him, Camari pulled a gun on him."

"I heard, and I don't blame her. I'd do the same for Calum."

"Would you? I saw the two of you fighting in the parking garage this morning."

"It's nothing for you to worry about."

"Which means it's about me once again."

"He never should've kept your location from me."

"It's over, Rhieve."

"Is it? Because last I checked, you weren't doing so well."

"I'm getting better."

It's the truth. As Maura told me, she doesn't have a magic wand, but she's a good listener and gives me good ideas for little ways I can make myself feel better every day.

"You wouldn't be in this situation at all if it wasn't for him."

"Maybe I needed to be in this situation. It sucks, and I wouldn't choose it again, but I did choose it then. You conveniently forget that I willingly went to that warehouse, and I willingly did many things before that freedom was taken from me."

"Yes, but I would've gotten you out sooner, maybe even when you were still willing, if he hadn't kept things from me."

"If I can't dwell on that time, neither can you. Have a nice date night, or better yet, order in and pretend to watch a movie while you do things I don't ever want to know about."

She looks away from me, biting her lip. "He moved out."

"What?"

"He's got a business trip to England coming up soon, and we decided it was best if he just moved into a hotel until he leaves."

"Jesus, Rhieve. We need to be better about dealing with the people we love. I know our parents are fucked up, but that doesn't mean we have to be too. Go get him, and bring him home."

"What if he doesn't want to come back? I said some horrible things to him. I know it's because I feel guilty about not saving you sooner, and it is partly his fault, but I still love him. I didn't really want him to go."

I get up, and pull her into my arms. "I know. You push, and I run. Again, we need to do better."

"Yes, we do. I'm going to go find Calum, if you think you'll be okay without me."

"I'm good. Do me a favor, and let Calum know I don't blame him, either."

"I will, although I'm not liking that my little brother is suddenly so wise."

"You'll just have to deal with it," I say lifting my eyebrow, and smirking.

She punches my arm, which hurts more than when she did it as a teen, but I still laugh through the pain. I love the woman she's become, and I'm liking the man I'm turning out to be as well. Now, I just need to pray that Maura's getting through to Viv.

# Chapter 17

### Viv

My next visitor of the day is one I'd been hoping to see. Jade has a box of baked goods from the preferred bakery of the Society, Drago Sisters Bakery, in her hands and I resist the urge to grab it from her. Instead, I hold out my arms for a hug. She smiles, and places the box on the table next to me as we embrace.

"Thank you for saving me," I tell her.

"You do not get to thank me, after I almost got you killed."

"The man with the gun almost got me killed, not you."

"I should've checked the perimeter or called for back-up, instead of just assuming he was inside. We all could've gotten killed because of my negligence."

"Is that what Reina has to say about it?"

"No, but she's gotten a little softer since she had the baby." She looks around, and then lowers her voice. "Please don't tell her I said that."

"My lips are sealed, but you do realize being scared of her means she's not really 'soft'."

" _Softer_. I said softer, not soft. Big difference."

"Huge," I agree.

"I'm liking this hidden smart-ass of yours."

"I like letting it out."

"How are you, really? Kenny says you're okay, but I want to hear it from you."

"I'm good."

"Then I can have a serious talk with you, and it won't be too much?"

"Well, when you put it that way my first inclination is to say no, but go ahead."

"I know about what happened to Rhys. Nate had something happen to him that's not exactly the same, but similar enough that I understand what you're going through."

I open my mouth and close it twice before the shock wears off enough for me to speak. "He's the friend Rhieve sent to help him."

"Yes. They've been hanging out, and other stuff."

"Maura was just here, if that's what you mean by 'other stuff'."

"Oh, good. Yeah, she's Nate's doctor, too. And I guess, mine, since I go with him sometimes."

"She wants me to go with Rhys when he's ready."

"It's good. Hard, but good."

"Did Nate push you away, or run? I feel like Rhys is always running, but sometimes he's also trying to get me to run."

"Nate wouldn't let me look at him, or admire his body. And yes, he ran. I ended up running after him, when I realized it was what we both needed me to do, but it wasn't easy. It's still not easy sometimes, but we both work hard at what we have because we don't want to lose it."

"You two are always so happy and in love around each other."

"We're genuinely both of those things, but again, there's work going on no one else sees. Nate's been getting help for a couple of years now, but there's still times when I look at him and he cringes slightly. He doesn't think I see it, and I never tell him I do, but it happens. And there are times when he needs to sleep alone. But that's okay, because I know he's fighting his demons as hard as he can. And, he knows I'm fighting them right alongside him."

"I want to fight with Rhys, but up until now he hasn't let me."

"He has to be ready for that, and you need to wait for him until he _is_ ready."

"I thought if I did that, I was weak, and setting myself up to get hurt. All the things I promised I wouldn't do after you all helped me escape my former life."

"I get it, and I felt the same way, but there's a difference. Doing all of this for the man you love, and who you know loves you back, isn't weak. You're going to get hurt sometimes, but you need to remember that he isn't trying to hurt you, or wanting to hurt you. He's just protecting himself in the only way he knows how."

"He doesn't need to protect himself from me."

"Are you sure about that? Because, I'm pretty sure you told him to leave this room."

She's right. I don't want to face that I've been wrong, but if I expect him to do it, I have to as well.

"I also jumped to conclusions when he tried to talk to me."

"Don't beat yourself up, because these guys we love are hard. They're worth it, but they're hard. You have to be willing to learn how to push back for yourself, without sending them away at the same time."

"What if I can't?"

"Do you love him enough to try?"

I answer without hesitation, because I know it in my soul. "Yes."

"Then, you can do it. Nate and Rhys aren't the same person, so I can't tell you how to do it, but you'll figure that out yourself."

"I will," I tell her, maybe with a little more confidence than I feel right now.

I know I can do this, because I have to. Rhys tried reaching out to me, and I ruined it just as much as he did. We're both to blame, but he's actively working to make it better, while I've just waiting around, acting like I deserved to do nothing. I'm done with that now.

"Do you know if he's still here today?"

Jade nods. "He's sparring with Nate. He's teaching him how to fight, and they work out together now."

"Is there a video feed in there?"

"Why yes, there is," she tells me, pulling it up on her tablet, and connecting to the TV in here so we can both watch. I've never wanted to watch two men fighting before, but I think I could get into this.

### Rhys

"You're getting better," Nate tells me, as we both towel off after sparring for almost two hours.

"Thanks to you."

He's laughing as he picks up his phone, and then he turns to me with a smirk. "Our women were apparently watching us."

"Huh?"

"You know there are cameras everywhere, and the Society women can check them whenever they want. Jade's visiting Viv, and they decided it would be fun to watch us."

"Viv watched me?"

"Yeah, and Jade said she'd like to see you if you're up for it."

I practically run for the door. "Catch you later, man. Thanks again!"

I can still hear him laughing as I make it to the elevator, pressing the down button impatiently. "Medical wing," I say once I'm inside, since there's no button for that.

"Go get your girl," Ainsley says over the speaker, and I can hear the smile in her voice.

"I'm trying."

Kendrick is waiting for me when I walk out, looking stoic, which is normal, but gives me no idea of what he's going to say. His posture relaxes as I approach him, so it can't be too bad.

"Hello, Rhys."

"Hi."

"She wants to see you, but she's still recovering. I'm aware of the rocky relationship you share, and I just want you to try not to upset her too much."

"I'm not planning on upsetting her at all."

He nods. "We never are, but I believe you'll be gentle with her. Go on in."

I clasp his shoulder briefly as I walk by, silently thanking him. Viv's door is open, and I hear her laughing with Jade when I step into the doorway. Her eyes go a little wide, and she smiles when she sees me.

"I think you forgot your shirt."

I look down, and realize she's right. "Sorry. Nate said you wanted to see me, so I ran right down."

"I wasn't complaining," she says, and then winces. "Sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

Yes, she should say that. She should say whatever she wants to say. "Jade, would you mind letting us talk for a few minutes alone?"

"Not at all. See you later, Viv."

"Thanks for everything."

"No problem," she says, stopping at my side before she walks out. "Listen to everything she says, and try not to run."

"I will."

Once she's gone, I close the door, leaning against it for a moment, before I turn back to Viv. There's so much between us, and I know we can scale the mountain if we work together, but I don't know if she's ready to climb with me.

"I'm sorry."

Her words cause me to turn around, and see her looking like she owes me something. "Why are you apologizing to me?"

"Because I'm not blameless in this. I hurt you."

"Not as much as I hurt you."

"This isn't a competition. At least I don't want it to be. Not unless we're on the same team."

"I'd be the star player on your team."

"Ditto."

She picks at her blanket for a moment, before meeting my eyes again. "There's a rumor going around that you might want to go steady or something. With me."

"There's no might about it. It was stupid of me to ask you to just be friends with me, when I want more."

"You weren't wrong when you said how good of friends we were."

"No, but we didn't hold hands, or kiss, back then, and I really want to do those things with you. I want more, and I hope I'll be ready to try that soon, but I need to kiss you."

"I'm ready with my answer if you want to ask me."

I can't help but smirk, although there's nothing fake about this one. "Vivs, will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yes, but only if you kiss me now."

"I've missed you so much," I tell her, sitting on the edge of her bed, and cupping her face in my hands.

This time when I kiss her, I treat it like it's our first, because it is. It's the first time I've kissed her as my girlfriend. She was secretly that years ago, but now we don't have to hide. We won't ever hide again.

I kiss her softly, and sweetly. Small kisses all over her lips to let her know how much she means to me. She grips my shoulders as she does the same, and soon we're laughing in between the pecks on the mouth.

"This reminds me of the past. The good past," she tells me, touching her forehead to mine while we catch our breath.

"It's the good future."

"Cheesy, but accurate."

I kiss her again, because I can, and this time we put a little more passion into it. Not a lot, but a little. Out tongues touch, but don't explore. The best part of it all is that I'm not freaked out by any of it. Kissing Viv is more intimate than what we did in Cardiff, and I'm okay with it. Better than okay, if I'm being honest, and the hope I keep losing a grip on has come back to me.

# Chapter 18

### Viv

I'm getting released today, and I can't wait. Rhys is picking me up, and we're having that movie date—which really is a date now—that we missed when I got shot. I'm looking through the clothes Stella brought for me, when Reina stops by with some news I'm not ready for.

"Your parents just invited Matt and I to a gala in two weeks. The invite says you'll be in attendance."

"The invite is wrong."

"Normally, I would agree with you, but this time, I'm going to ask you to go."

"Can you give me a good reason to?"

"Rhys told us about how he was forced to walk away from you because someone was threatening your life. I'm not one to let something like that go, and I'm pretty sure the woman who's behind it all will be there. Seeing you and Rhys together is going to make her angry, and she might be reckless enough that we can catch her legally. If not, I'll still deal with her, but this would be more damaging to both her and Christon."

"Two birds, huh?"

"Something like that."

"Well, if Rhys is up for it, sure, we can go."

"Perfect. And just so you know, you'll be protected at all times. Both of you."

"I didn't want to ask, but it's definitely a concern."

"Do you want to talk about it to him, or should I?"

"I'll do it. He's not going to like it, but I think he'll do it for me."

"Good, because his parents are also going to be there, too, and the intel we've gathered points to them being in on it too."

"Why am I not surprised? Do other people have parents who want money and power more than they want their children healthy and alive."

"Yes, but that's why we're here."

"The world needs you more than they know."

"I'm not going to disagree with you on that."

"I hear you've got a date tonight so I'm going to head back to my office, but we'll talk more tomorrow."

"I do, and yes. I'll be here."

She walks out the door, and I go back to looking at the dresses. I thought some were too dressy for our date, but now I realize they'll work for the party. Stella knew, and sent them before I even said yes. I'd be offended if it didn't mean she trusted me to make the right choice, which I know I did.

I pick out a dress for tonight that has a graphic of the Beatles crossing Abbey Road covering it. It's just the right balance between flirty and fun. For the party, I choose a dress I was drawn to immediately. It's a little too fun for me to have worn in my old life, but it's perfect for the life I'm living now. I can't wait to finally walk into one of these things on the arm of the man I love.

"Hey, Beautiful," that man says when he walks into my room a little later. He's got on jeans and a button-down shirt, and looks amazing, as always.

"Hi."

"I can't believe we're finally going on a real date. I mean, it's only taken us about a decade."

"Better late than never."

"Yes, it is."

He takes my small overnight bag and the garment bag with my dress in one hand, and holds his other one out to me. I squeeze his hand as he kisses me on the cheek.

"I'm really hoping you're the kind of girl who won't mind a kiss at her door, even though it's our first date."

"Actually, I'm the kind of girl who's hoping you're going to kiss me long before we get to my front door."

"I think that can be arranged."

"Yeah?"

"Definitely."

He pulls me to him, and our lips meet like they belong together, which they do. Unlike the last few days, this kiss is passionate, and full of need. I start to pull back, because I'm afraid it's too much, but Rhys just pulls me closer, nibbling on my lips, and running his free hand all over my back as I finger the sexy indentations at his waist. Our clothes are on, but we're definitely making out right now, and he seems okay with it.

"You okay?" I ask, forcing my lips from his, because I have to be sure.

"I don't think I've ever been more okay in my life."

"We're going to miss the movie if we don't stop."

"If it wasn't our first date, I'd be okay with that. But, I want to do this right with you."

Swoon. Okay, yeah, we've had our problems, and some of them are going to be with us for a lot longer than either of us wants, but this right here is why I can't walk away, or give up on Rhys. The rest of the world has always seen a cocky rogue, but all I can see is the sweet and loving man who's always protected me, even when I didn't know it.

We hold hands as we walk out of the hospital ward, and into the elevator. Rhys helps me into his sleek BMW, and I find a bunch of white roses on the seat. I smile, remembering when we were kids, and Rhys brought me a white rose for our first "unofficial" date. He didn't think my mother would notice one flower gone from her prized bushes, but she did. The next day, she almost fired the groundskeeper, but Rhys came forward, and said it was just a prank.

"Did you steal these too?"

"No, but if we were close to your parents' place, I would've."

Now is when I should tell him about the party, but I don't want to ruin this night we've both waited so long for. "I love you, Rhys. So much."

"I love you too, Vivs."

### Rhys

"Remember, you have to stay calm," I tell X, as we make our way to Lennon's office in the C&C building.

He agreed to meet with us, but Camari insisted on being there too. If X freaks out, or goes for her man, it's going to end badly for everyone.

"I just need him to tell me what he knows."

"You already know she's okay, since you caught her video chatting with Micah the other day."

"I need to know more than that. I need to know when she's coming back."

I don't tell him I'm pretty sure coming back isn't in her plans, because he's on the verge of madness right now. He's got the scraggly beard, the wrinkled clothes, and the crazy eyes of someone who's losing it, because he is. Lennon needs to help him, but I'm not sure if he will.

Camari opens the door when X knocks, and I'm not surprised to see Matt is also in the room when we enter. To say things have been strained between him and X would be an understatement.

"You're going to be civil, and listen to what Lennon has to say."

"We both know you need me more than I need you, _Matthew_ , so quit trying to play boss."

"I'm fairly certain hiring you was the worst mistake I've ever made in my professional life, so don't try and threated me, _Xavier_."

"Enough with the alpha male bullshit," Camari tells them. "Ask what you came to ask, X, and then all of you can leave."

Lennon smiles, and shrugs his shoulders when I look at him, and I think I might need to get to know him better. He's comfortable with his place in this room, and doesn't mind his girlfriend protecting him. Those are two things I need to work on in my own life.

"Lennon, I need you to tell me where Seri is," X says, managing to stay calm while he says it.

"No."

"Excuse me?" And there goes the calm.

"She's one of my best friends, and she doesn't want you to know where she is, so I'm not going to tell you."

"You have to know how worried we are about her," Matt interjects, looking between the two men like he's trying to figure out whose side to be on.

"She's okay, but she's not coming back."

"She has to come back!" X yells, before falling into one of the chairs. "She has to. I can't do this without her."

"Can't what? Work?"

"Live. I can't live without her."

"Maybe you should've made that clear to her."

"I know. I know I fucked up, and I want to fix it."

"You're going to have to give her time. She's hurting, and trying to protect herself."

"Please, Lennon. I don't have time. I'm only getting out of bed every day because my son needs me, but it's getting harder and harder to remember that."

"I'll tell her, but I wouldn't count on it."

"Then give her these."

He pulls a stack of papers from inside his rumpled jacket, and holds them out to Lennon. I have no clue what he's doing, but I know it can't be good. Lennon takes them, and opens them, his eyes going wide.

"You want her to have custody of Micah?"

Whoa. Matt and I look at each other, our jaws dropped. X loves his kid more than anything.

"Yes. I'm not functioning, and he can tell. It's starting to affect him in a negative way."

"I don't...you can't...are you sure?" Lennon asks, fumbling for the right thing to say.

"Yes."

He walks out of the room as we all stare after him. Matt is the first one to react, leaning over the desk to look Lennon in the eyes.

"I'm not his biggest fan right now, but I never expected this. You have to get Seri to at least contact him. She's completely broken him. He'd never send Micah away if it wasn't bad."

"I know. Oh God, I know."

I turn to see Seri walking out of the closet in the corner. She looks as destroyed as X does, and tears are currently running down her cheeks, as she rocks back and forth.

"Seri," Matt says, rushing to her side.

"What have I done?"

"Nothing that can't be fixed."

"You're wrong, Matt. Like you said, he's giving me his son, because I broke him."

"Come back, and make it better."

She nods, wiping her eyes, and straightening her shoulders. "I'm back. Can you fill me in on the new projects, Rhys? I know X is giving you more responsibility."

"Yeah, he is, and I can definitely give you the info."

I'm in a little shock over the instant change in her demeanor, but I welcome it. The temp assistant is nice, but she's not Seri. She also looks at X like he's hung the moon, which he completely ignores, but is still annoying. I miss the verbal sparring Seri brought with her, if only because it kept me entertained back then, when I wasn't getting any work to do.

"Let's go. I need to get to him sooner, rather than later."

"Of course."

I don't even know what's happening right now, but it's crazier than what I've got going on. Like, seriously, these two make my problems seem much smaller than I thought they were. They aren't, but they feel like it when I see the devastation on both of their faces.

I give her the info she needs, and then we're on our floor, and the elevator doors are opening. You could hear a pin drop as I trail behind her through the cubicles in the middle of the floor. X is standing at the temp assistant's desk, but he turns when the room goes silent, and drops the papers in his hands.

"Seri."

"I'd like my job back. Please."

"Whatever you want. Anything you want."

"Just my job for now."

She looks pointedly at the woman sitting in her chair. That woman looks like she wants to argue, but X isn't having it. "Get out of the damn chair."

Seri sighs, but there's a smile on her face. "I see nothing's changed while I was gone."

"Everything's changed. No one can replace you. You have to know that."

"It's definitely nice to hear."

"I'll say it every day if you want."

"Let's not get carried away."

"There's more I need to say to you."

"Not yet. I'm not ready for anything but work right now."

You came back."

"I did. Don't make me regret it."

"I won't."

"Yes, you will, but we'll deal with that later."

"Okay."

They're staring at one another like they're afraid of each other, and I take that as my cue to leave. I didn't think things would go down like this today, but I'm happy they did. Now, I need to go see my own woman, and keep working on moving forward with her.

# Chapter 19

### Viv

Rhys is currently sucking on my neck in a way that's making my toes curl, but I know I need to stop him and talk to him about the party this weekend. I should've talked to him already, but things have been going well since we had that first date, and I didn't want that to stop.

"We have to go to a party on Saturday."

"Here? Is Caleb barbequing again?"

"No. My parents are throwing a party, and I'm expected to attend. Your parents will be there too."

"Nope. Not a chance."

"We have to go."

"Give me one good reason why we should."

"The guy who had you beat up will be there. Reina thinks seeing us together will make him angry enough to bring them all down."

"All as in our lovely parents, and your ex?"

"Yes."

"You're not going to dye your hair back are you?" he asks, running his hands through my brown locks.

"Nope. I love my hair color, although I'll need to wear it up with the dress I got from Stella."

"What's it look like?"

"That's going to be a surprise, but I can tell you it's more fun than anything I've worn in the past."

"Be right back," he tells me, jumping off me, and heading for the door.

"What?"

"I have to grab something from my apartment, but I'll be right back."

He's back in minutes, a small shopping bag in his hands. He hands it to me, and I see a shoebox inside.

"What's this?"

"I saw these in a shop window when I was in Norwich and I thought you'd like them. If you don't that's cool, but I wanted you to have them in case they match your dress."

I open the box to find beautiful and fanciful heels inside. They have a black and white flower pattern on them, and a sparkly black heart on the front. The back of the shoe also has some sparkle to it. They're beautiful, and fun, and I love them.

I hug one to my chest, and smile at him. "You really thought of me when you bought them?"

"I'm pretty much always thinking of you, but yeah. I did okay, right? You're hugging that one, which I think means you like them."

"I _love_ them. My dress is black, so they'll definitely match."

"Black? You're really wearing black," he asks, quirking his eyebrow in that way he's so good at.

I know why he's surprised. My mother never allowed me to wear black when we were teens, and Christon didn't approve of it either. Apparently, I was only supposed to wear various shades of blue, and it was easier not to fight them back then. Now, I'm going to wear whatever I want.

"Yes. Do you have a problem with that?"

"No, but now I'm wondering if you're wearing black right now."

I look down at my hot pink dress in confusion, and then I get it. He's been touching me more, and letting me touch him, too. I know he's not completely okay yet, but if he wants more than kissing, he can have it.

"You're welcome to find out for yourself."

"I'd like to try," he tells me, swallowing hard.

"We can stop at any time."

"You're going to be taken care of, either way."

Oh, how I want him to take care of me in any way he wants, but I'm not coming alone. "If we start this, we're both coming. I don't care how it happens, but it's going to happen."

"I came in my jeans last time I touched you, so I don't think you need to worry about me, Vivs."

"I always worry about you. I wouldn't be a good girlfriend if I didn't."

"You're the best girlfriend ever. Now, turn around so I can unzip this dress, and see what you've got for me underneath."

### Rhys

I see a moment of uncertainty flash in her eyes when I ask her to turn around. I hate seeing that, and knowing I put that fear there.

"I'm not fucking you from behind tonight. If we get there, I'm going to make love to you while I look into your eyes."

The smile she gives me is bright and happy, and that's all I want. For Viv to be happy with me. A few weeks of therapy haven't fixed me, but I'm ready to try with her. I'm constantly aroused in her presence, and I want to make love to her. Maura told me to do what feels right, and I'm about to.

I suck on the back of her neck as I pull the zipper down, leaving a mark. It's going to be there on Saturday, and I love that. Everyone needs to know she's mine. When the zipper's down, I see the hints of the black lace I was hoping for. Pushing the material from her shoulders, I let the fabric slide over her body, and onto the floor.

"You're killing me with these little pieces of black lace," I tell her as I slide my fingers over the waistband of her thong, and undo her bra.

She shrugs her shoulders, so her bra falls off, and I love her even more for it. "I wear something sexy every day, just in case."

She doesn't elaborate, because we both know it's just in case I'm ready. I am. At least I think I am. Regardless, I'm ready to try.

I turn her to face me, my cock hardening even further at the sight of her full and heavy breasts. "Beautiful."

She blushes, and bites her lip as she reaches for the hem of my shirt. I help her pull it over my head, then stand still as her fingers go to my jeans. She hesitates, so I place my hand over hers, and guide her in her actions.

Once my zipper's down, and my jeans are pushed to the floor, I pick her up. She squeals in surprise, and I silence her protests with a kiss. I don't stop kissing her until she's laid out on her bed, her hair fanned out behind her. She's perfect.

"How wet are you, Beautiful?" I ask, slipping my fingers over her thong.

"You tell me."

I slide my fingers under the soaked fabric, and into her wet pussy. She's more than ready for me. "Perfectly wet."

"No condom please," she says.

"I'm clean."

"Me too."

"Birth control?"

She shakes her head. "No."

Holy hell. "Viv?"

"If you're not interested, you can put a condom on."

"I'm fucking interested."

That's not a lie. I want Viv to have my baby. We've never talked about it, but I want it. So much so, that I can't wait any longer to be inside of her.

I push my briefs off, and practically rip the thong from her body. "I'm going to make love to you all night, every night, until my baby's growing inside of you. And then, I'm going to make love to you all day too."

"We have to work," she reminds me with a laugh.

"Good thing we work at the same place, and you have an office with a lock on the door."

I say that as I slide inside of her slowly. She feels so good, and this is nothing like what I've done or had done to me. This is me and Viv, and nothing else.

"You feel so good. Your cock feels so good."

"It's where it belongs, and it knows it."

I'm not going to lie and pretend I'm not freaking out a little, but it's not as bad as it was in Cardiff, and my need for Viv is stronger than the slight panic I'm keeping under control.

My strokes are long and slow, as I savor the feel of her pussy welcoming me. I look her in the eyes, and see the concern there. Knowing she's not letting herself fully succumb to her pleasure breaks something in me, and the panic recedes. It's never going to be forced or wrong with Viv, and accepting that snaps the mental chains holding me back from giving us both what we want.

"I'm okay. This is okay. Better than okay. Let go with me."

"Yes."

I lean down, and kiss her, increasing my pace. She wraps her legs around me, and runs her hands over my back as I take us both where we need to be. My body remembers what she likes, and as I move in her from different angles, she shatters around me, breaking our kiss to scream my name. My body shudders in release right after hers and I feel it all. Everything feels right.

Bracing my forearms on the bed, I kiss her again, letting her know how good this was for me. I kiss her over and over again until my cock comes back to life. It slips so easily back inside of her, but I roll us, so she's on top this time.

"Rhys, oh God. I'm going to come again."

"Do it."

She comes hard as she begins to ride me, and I take one of her tits into my mouth and suck as she arches her back. She's even more beautiful as she takes the pleasure she deserves, and I'm determined to make her keep coming until she can't take any more.

"How are you so hard again?"

"You," I answer truthfully, letting her nipple pop from my mouth before I move to the other one. "It's all you."

"If you keep sucking me like that, I'm going to come again."

"That's the plan."

She seats herself all the way down, and twists, driving me crazy. Just like my body remembers hers, hers is remembering mine. I hold her waist while I thrust up as far as I can go, and she moans. Looking at her tits thrust forward, and her head thrown back, I know this will always be right with her. I may be nervous every time, because that's what I'm dealing with, but once I'm inside of Viv, I know it will be okay.

# Chapter 20

### Viv

I don't want a repeat of Cardiff, so I whisper in Rhys' ear the morning after he made love to me for most of the night. I'm sore, and I want more. I'm loving how used my pussy feels, but my mouth is feeling neglected.

"I want you in my mouth."

"What?" he asks, coming awake, and looking at me like I'm crazy.

"Let me suck you off, and come down my throat."

"I-I can't do that."

"Oh. Okay." It's not, but I promised to be patient with him.

"Anything but that. I just can't."

"I should get ready for work anyway."

"I left with those women from the club, because they blew me really good, and I wanted more with them. It's my fault for leaving, and getting myself into that situation. I've let go of the blame for what happened to me in that warehouse, but I can't let go of this. Of knowing I went there with them because they sucked my dick."

"I'm not them, but I know you need time to remember that."

"I don't need to remember you're not them, but the thought of you sucking on me freaks me out. It's giving up complete control, and I'm just not there yet. You have no idea how badly I want it, but I know I'll lose it if you do it right now."

"I'll be here when you are ready," I tell him, kissing his cheek.

"Can I shower with you?"

"Only if you promise to help me wash up. All over," I tell him, slipping out of bed. "After you bend me over one of the big benches inside the shower, of course."

"I don't need it from behind, Viv," he says, holding my gaze so I know he means it.

"Which is why I want you to do it. I hated it before, because you weren't there with me. It's going to be different this time."

"Yeah, it is. I promise."

He keeps his word, pulling my hair, pinching my nipples, and sucking more hickeys onto the back of my neck as I brace myself on the wall. My knees are on the bench, and he says my name frequently as he works us both into a frenzy.

After, he washes every inch of me, dropping to his knees when he gets to my legs. He gives me one of his patented smirks with a hint of dimple, before licking me to another orgasm while soaping up my legs. I wish I could give him the same, but that's not my decision to make, and I have to honor his wishes.

"I'm not sure how I'm going to function at work today." I tell him honestly, pulling on a pair of dark jeans, and a black and white top that drapes low on my back.

"You? I had to stand here and watch you put little sticky things on your nipples, because you're going braless today. I'm going to be accidentally coding 'tits' all day."

"No one forced you to watch."

"And no one told you you couldn't," he says, turning my face to his. "You can look, and touch. You have permission to do anything, except what we talked about. I might get a little startled if you climb onto my cock while I'm sleeping, but you're allowed."

"Same. I mean, I don't have a cock, but you can slide yours inside my pussy whenever you want."

"And now, I have to have you again," he says, unbuckling his belt.

"You're insatiable."

"Is that a problem?"

"Definitely not," I tell him, as he pushes me against the wall. "I'm just thinking I should switch to a skirt today."

"Good idea."

### Rhys

Things are back to normal at the office, or as normal as they can be when two people who are in love with each other are pointedly ignoring one another. I've never seen two people function so well together, while also keeping their distance. X and Seri have it down to a science, and I'm honestly impressed.

My C&C tablet buzzes, and I look down to see a message from the Security desk, telling me my father is here to see me. I have no desire to see him, but I know he'll cause a scene if I don't, so I message them that I'm on my way down. Grabbing my jacket from my chair, I button it, straighten my tie, and step into the elevator.

"There you are, Rhys. This woman wouldn't let me go up to your office."

"We have security procedures for a reason, Father. You should've told me you'd be stopping by."

"Can't I surprise you?"

"No."

"You need to watch your tone with me, young man."

I roll my eyes, and move us towards one of the empty seating areas in the main lobby. "What do you want?"

"You listen here, Rhys. I'm done protecting you, so you better fall in line."

"Protecting me? You've never protected me. Or Rhieve."

"Your sister is another matter, and one I'm not in the mood to discuss with you right now."

"Well, please tell me what it is you want to discuss, so I can get back to work."

"Playing your little computer games isn't work," he scoffs. I refrain from reminding him that our entire family business depends on computers, because I just want him gone. When I don't speak up, he continues. "The Sloans are throwing a party on Saturday, and I'm told you haven't RSVP'd yet. You _will_ be there, with a suitable date on your arm."

"Yes, I will."

"Who?"

"You'll see when I get there."

"Why must you always be so difficult?"

"Because it's more fun."

"This isn't a game, Rhys."

"No, it's not. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do. I believe you know where the door out is."

He's still sputtering when I swipe my badge to go through security, winking at Jyn on my way to the elevator. That felt better than it probably should've, but I'm not sorry for finally standing up for myself. It's been a long time coming.

I have a session with Maura soon, so I head there instead of back to my desk. It's comforting on this floor, which is the point of it, but it still amazes me every time I'm sitting on one of the comfy couches. How can I feel comforted when I'm about to bare my soul, and spill my darkest secrets? I'll have to ask Rhieve one day, because it's got to be Society magic.

"Come on in, Rhys," Maura says, right on time, as she always is.

I stand, and follow her, but can't contain myself long enough to sit down. "I made love to Viv last night," I blurt out as soon as the door closes.

"And?" she asks, gesturing to the chair I ignore, as I pace.

"It was perfect."

"No panic attacks?"

"Not last night, but I almost had one this morning," I admit.

"Go on."

"She woke me up, and told me she wanted to um...you know."

She smiles. "Yes, I think I do." She would, since we've talked about it before.

"I turned her down, and I know she was disappointed, but she still had sex with me again in the shower. And I did—you know—to her."

"You did it to her, yet told her she couldn't do it to you? Do you think that's okay?"

"No, but I just can't."

"We've already talked about you being blameless at the warehouse, but I know you're still stuck on the club."

"Yes."

"Have you talked to Viv about going there with you? You told me before you thought you needed to have that act happen there to let you know it was okay again."

"I can't ask her to suck me off in a sex club."

"Why not?"

"Seriously?"

"I'm your doctor, so I would hope you'd know I was serious when I talk to you about getting better."

"I'm afraid she'll say no, and then what do I do?"

"You won't know until you ask her."

"We're going to a gala thrown by her parents this weekend," I tell her, diverting from the topic I don't want to talk about any longer.

"Together?"

"Of course."

"That's going to be interesting. Is her ex-husband going to be there?"

"Yep. My parents too. Dear old dad paid me a visit before I came up here."

"How did that go?"

I shrug. "For him, it went pretty badly. For me, it was more fun than I've had without Viv in a long time."

"Don't think I missed you adding Viv's name in there."

"It's the truth. I have so much fun with her."

"Are you ready for the fallout you're going to receive?"

"Yes. I can take whatever they want to say."

"And she's okay with it as well?"

"Definitely. She's wearing a black dress, which she's never done before, and I gave her the shoes I bought for her."

"I'm pleased to see you getting back to yourself, or rather, figuring out who you want to be now. We're not going to stop meeting, but we can cut down our sessions if you'd like."

"No," I tell her honestly. "I don't think I'm ready for that yet."

We spend the rest of the session talking more about Viv, and when we walk out, I'm surprised to find her waiting for me. She stands and hugs Maura, before taking my hand.

"Rhieve said your dad dropped by, and I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I am, but I like that you wanted to check on me. Do you want to grab lunch?"

"Sure. Did you want to join us Maura?"

"No thank you, but I appreciate the offer."

She disappears back into her office, and I lead Viv to the elevator bank. "That was nice of you to ask her."

"She's the third most important person in your life right now, and I want her to know I appreciate her."

"Third?" I ask, secretly glad Viv knows she's first.

"Me, Rhieve, and then her. Unless there's a different order, or someone I need to add?"

"You rightfully put yourself first, and yes, Rhieve is second. Nate's definitely top five, but no other woman's on that list."

"You're first for me too," she says, quietly. "In case you didn't know."

I do know it, but I'll never tire of hearing her say it. "It's where I've always wanted to be, and I'll fight anyone who tries to take my place."

"No chance of that."

Good, because while I can fight now, I'm still happier to be her lover than I ever would be as a fighter. If someone comes for her on Saturday, I'll take them down without a thought, but I'd rather leave that to Reina.

# Chapter 21

### Viv

My dress for tonight has sheer tulle draping across my shoulders from just below my collarbone, and fanning out in two layers over my upper arms. The rest of it is a tight spandex hugging my body from the sweetheart neckline to just past my knees. Alone, it would give my mother palpitations, but paired with the shoes Rhys gave me, it's going to send her over the edge. Oh, and let's not forget the hickeys I left uncovered on the back of my neck. My hair covers them—mostly—but I'm secretly hoping she sees them.

"Fuck, Viv, how am I supposed to control myself when you're looking like that?" Rhys asks, when I open the door to him.

"You're one to talk," I reply, taking in his dark grey suit, crisp white shirt, and deep blue tie. His hair's pushed up into submission, and I'm ready to submit too. And mess up his perfect hair later, of course.

"They're not going to know what hit them when we walk in the room. This is going to be so much fun."

"And hopefully bring some bad people to their knees. Don't forget that part."

"Like I said, fun."

"You're so adorable sometimes."

"Sometimes? And wait, I want to be manly and sexy, not adorable."

"You're all of the above, but mostly the sexy part."

"Okay, I can work with that." He holds out his arm for me, as I grab my clutch. "Your chariot awaits.

No fancy limo for us, because we're doing things our way now. When he opens the door to his car, I find a Tiffany box on the seat. Turning, I see a sheepish smile on his face, and quirk my own eyebrow at him.

"I know you like being all in black, but you're so colorful, Viv. Everything about this new you, which reminds me of the girl I fell in love with, is so colorful. I wanted you to have something colorful to wear tonight."

I pick up the box, and open it, finding a stunning starfish cuff made of diamonds. There's a white one, a pink one, and an orange one. It's gorgeous, and perfect. I don't know what to say, so I just take his face in my hands, and kiss him for all I'm worth.

"It's stunning, and I love it. Thank you," I finally manage to get out.

"You're welcome. I've always wanted to spoil you with more than flowers."

"I always loved your flowers, and I don't need anything but you."

"I know, but you're going to have to humor me sometimes, okay?"

"I think that can be arranged," I agree, as he slides the cuff onto my wrist.

One more lingering kiss, and then he's settling me into my seat, before jogging around the car to get into his. The drive isn't long, but I'm actually glad for that tonight. I've waited far too long to walk into a party of Rhys' arm.

He valets the car, and takes my hand. "You ready?"

"Yes."

When we get close to the ballroom doors, I slide one hand under his bicep, and place the other over it. It's a little hard with my clutch in my hand, but I make it work. He smirks—per usual—before placing his hand over mine. The doors open for us, and it's showtime.

The noisy room goes quiet, except for a few gasps, as we step inside. I cuddle a little more into him as I take in the shocked faces before us. Not because I need comfort, but because I'm loving this.

"Vivienne, what is going on?" my mother asks, moving to my side, and hissing in my ear.

"I'm walking into this party of yours with my boyfriend. Is that a problem?"

"You know it is. Step away from him now, and we can just say he was helping you inside. There's nothing to do about your dress, hair, and those hideous shoes, but we can at least salvage your reputation."

"I like my reputation just fine," I tell her.

To prove my point, I turn toward Rhys, and pull his mouth down to mine. The kiss is hungry, and scandalous, and as he pulls me against him, he moves my messy chignon aside, exposing my neck. My mother's horrified screech can probably be heard on the other side of town, causing me to laugh against his lips.

"You're so bad," I whisper.

"You know you wanted me to do that."

"I so did."

### Rhys

Viv's father pulls her mother away as she cries fake tears over her daughter being "corrupted" by me. We're in our own world right now, so I barely notice anything or anyone else. I know what's coming, though, so I take her hand and walk her down the steps toward the tables our Society friends are occupying. Rhieve and Calum aren't here yet, but I'm guessing that's because they were letting us be the stars of tonight's show. Or they're off in a corner making out. Either one is possible.

"I always knew you were trash," Christon says, stepping into our path.

"I seriously hope, for your sake, that you were referring to me."

"I was talking about the sloppy seconds you have on your arm."

I don't even hesitate, taking him down with one punch, just how Nate taught me to do. He's out cold, and I lift Viv into my arms as I step over him. Laughter breaks the silence, and I know it's coming from where we headed.

"That was hot. Like, I need to find a supply closet and beg you to fuck me against the shelves, hot."

"I got us a room upstairs, but you'll have to wait at least fifteen minutes before we sneak out, or all of these people will speculate on where we're going."

"Do I look like I care?" she asks, before kissing me again.

Damn, I love this woman. "No, but we have more work to do here tonight."

"Fine, but I hope that bed is sturdy, because I want it rough tonight."

She walks away from me, to hug Reina, but I have to stand there for a minute like an idiot, as I get myself under control.

"Good hit, young grasshopper," Nate tells me.

"I learned from the best."

"Damn right."

Things are quiet for about a minute, before it's my parents who descend on us next. I'm ready for them, but I was secretly hoping they'd behave like decent humans for once.

"You broke Christon's nose!" my father growls at me as he stands over my chair.

"He's lucky that's all I did."

"Your behavior is unacceptable."

"He insulted Viv, and no one's going to do that without having some consequences. I'm not going to apologize if that's what you're waiting for."

"Do you not understand how powerful that man is? He could destroy you!" my mother whispers, because you know, she can't cause a scene.

"I would love to see him try," X says. "Please ask him to try."

"Me too. I haven't had a good battle in months," Matt adds. "We could totally crush his ass."

"These are the people you're choosing to associate with?"

"Yes, Mother, because they are simply the best people I've ever known."

"Aww, dude, you're going to make me tear up a little," Nate says, laughing so hard I think he might pass out.

"You're dead to us," my father tells me.

"Can I get it on that, too?" Rhieve asks, coming up to the table with Calum at her side. "I'll even write my Society page eulogy. It can go something like this: 'because Rhieve fell in love with Calum, who owns numerous sex clubs she likes to visit with him, she was happily removed from the Madison family. In addition to her love and sex crimes, she also works in a job her family disapproves of, and dresses the way she wants'."

"You are both a blight on this family!" my Father yells, no longer caring about decorum.

"Right back atcha," my sister says, as our parents storm away from the table.

"Damn, you're good Rhieve," Viv tells her.

"From what I saw from the bar, you're right up there with me, my friend."

"Ah, the bar. I was wondering where you were, Sis."

"We were enjoying the various acts in your show," Calum tells me, tipping his glass of Scotch my way. "Nicely done, both of you."

"It was fun," I admit.

"Just like you wanted it to be," Viv says, biting my ear as she whispers into it.

Yes, that was fun, but the fun's not over yet. There's one more person we have to make crazy enough to act, and then we can go upstairs. Up there, the fun's going to go on all night once again, just like it does every other night. At this rate, if she doesn't get pregnant soon, there's something wrong. With me, and not her since she's perfect, but we'll deal with that if it happens. And keep having fun.

# Chapter 22

### Rhys

Now that we've dealt with the parents, and the asshole, I'm actually enjoying this party. I've danced with Viv, toasted to everyone at the tables we've taken over, and even made out a little in a corner. Yes, I do take some lessons from my older sister.

We're leaving soon, so I decided to relieve myself, and not have to waste any time once we're in our room. As I'm coming out of the Men's Room, the man we've all been waiting for steps into my path. He has the same goons with him as he did five years ago, and they look happy to see me.

I pull at my cufflinks, activating the cameras and microphones, while bracing myself for impact. I need to get this guy to confess, so I have to goad him, and most likely take a few hits in the process.

"If you'd only done what you were told, we wouldn't have to be meeting like this again."

"Yeah, well, I have a problem with being told what to do. It's been like that since I was in diapers, I'm told."

"We're going to walk outside, and into the car that's waiting."

"Nope. We're not. You can tell me here what you need to tell me," I say, motioning to a small alcove, away from the foot traffic of the hallway. He follows me over, and I hope my high school acting skills are on point for this performance.

"You know what I have to say."

"I seem to have forgotten."

"I told you to stay away from Vivienne Sloan if you wanted her to keep breathing."

"Hmm, no. I don't think so. I don't even believe this threat you're referring to is real."

He leans closer to me, but I stand my ground. "Christon, your parents, Vivienne's parents, and myself have a lot invested in his company. His image is being tarnished by the divorce, and you've just made him a laughingstock. We are all invested in making sure his marriage is restored."

"Never gonna happen."

"If you do not go in there, and break-up with her in the most embarrassing way, a sniper in the building across the way is going to take her out when she walks into the room you've booked for the night."

"That's not going to happen," I tell him again, knowing it's the truth.

"I think he needs some additional encouragement, gentlemen," he tells his friends, stepping back.

They come for me at once, but my friends are faster. Nate, Matt, and X are all there in an instant, pummeling the other guys, while I step in front of the guy who started this all.

"You're not going anywhere."

"Well, he's going to jail, but I know what you meant," Reina says, coming to stand next to me. Rhieve, Faith, and Jade are surrounding him on all sides, giving him nowhere to go.

"This doesn't concern you, Reina."

"Oh yes, it most certainly does. Vivienne works for me, and Rhys works for my husband's company. We protect our own."

"You'll never prove anything."

"We have audio, _and_ video, but it's nice of you to worry about it being hard for us."

As we walk back to the ballroom, I see FBI agents rounding up my parents as well as Vivienne's. Reina tells me Christon is being arrested at the hospital right now. Viv runs up to me when she sees us, looking me over for injuries.

"I'm fine, Vivs. My friends took care of me."

I'm not ashamed of it, either. I was once told we all needed help, and I know it's true. Asking for help is brave. I'm brave, and I'm also on my way to being okay.

"Is it over?"

"This part is, but there's something I need to ask you to do for me. If you can't, I understand, but I need to ask."

"Anything. I'll do anything you need me to.

### Viv

When I told Rhys I'd do anything, I didn't expect him to invite me to a sex club, especially not one where his nightmare began. He explained to me what he needed, and I understood why he needed this from me. Which is why I'm getting off a train in Norwich, England, and wearing a sexy dress under my coat.

"You're sure?" he asks.

"Yes," I assure him.

"We can leave right after."

"Or we can stay. Let's just see how we're both doing, okay?"

"Okay."

The cab ride to the nondescript estate is short, and so is our entrance into the main foyer of the club. Calum's best friend, Guil, who runs the clubs for him, meets us and gives us an explanation of what to expect. I guess the explanation's really for me since Rhys has been here before, but he listens intently to everything Guil tells us.

We both choose red anklets, letting everyone else know we're not looking for outside action. After, I check my coat, and then we're inside the large double doors.

It's what I expected, but I'm not as prepared for it as I thought I'd be. Seeing people having sex right out in the open is not something I'm used to. I stumble a little, causing Rhys to catch me.

"Are you okay? We can go if you're not."

"No. I mean, yes I'm okay. I'm just a little shocked, but it's fine."

"I want this to be better than fine for you," he says, running his hands over my bare arms.

The dress I chose for tonight dips low in front, and has a long skirt made of strips of fabric. I have on full panties beneath, because I'm not comfortable having my ass out, but it's still sexier than anything I've worn in public before.

"Guil said they have private rooms here, right? So, after, we can go into one of them if you want."

"Is that what you want?"

Do I tell him the truth, or say what I think he wants to hear? I opt for the truth. "No. I truly want to do what you need me to do, but I'd prefer if we left after that."

"Honestly, I'd rather do that too."

"You don't have to say that for my benefit."

"I'm not. Walking in here made me realize how much I don't want this; I just want to be alone with you."

"Take me where we need to go, and then take me to our own private bed."

"Thank you," he says, touching his forehead to mine. "For this, and just for everything."

"Thank you back."

We kiss for a moment, and then he takes my hand, and walks me into a room where even more people are having sex. We walk to a tufted velvet chaise, and Rhys drops down onto it, unbuttoning his jeans.

I drop to my knees in front of him, and use my hair to cover him up. I don't know if he's cares if he's exposed, but I do. I don't want anyone else seeing what's mine. Leaning down I kiss the head, and then suck it lightly into my mouth. He stiffens, so I reach my hand up, and place it over his heart.

It doesn't relax him all the way, but I continue on, because he needs it, even if it's a little uncomfortable for him right now. Before long, his body takes over, and he's thrusting up into my mouth. A few minutes later, it's all over, and he's pulling me up onto his lap for a kiss.

"Thank you."

"Did it work? Can I do that again now?"

"I'm not sure about it 'working', but I loved it because I knew it was you, and yes, please do that whenever you want. Wake me up that way, do it in the shower, at work—wherever you want."

"Don't worry, I will."

He zips himself back up, and we walk hand in hand back to the main foyer. Guil approaches me while I'm at the coat check, and Rhys is cleaning up a little.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"How were you okay with coming here today? I mean, I know you weren't exactly comfortable with it, but you did it anyway."

"I love Rhys, so I'm willing to do almost anything for him."

"Yeah, I guess that's it."

"Why? Is there someone you want to come here?"

"No. Yes. Maybe. But, I know this isn't the place for her."

"You should probably let her decide that for herself."

"Yeah, but that would mean telling her it exists."

"Um, yes. That would be a requirement."

"What's up?" Rhys asks, putting his arm around me.

"Guil and I were just talking about a mystery woman he's interested in."

"Oh yeah? Cool. Good luck."

"Thanks. I'm going to need it."

With that, he gives us a salute, and heads inside the club. Rhys and I head back to our hotel, where I plan to have my mouth on him again before the sun rises. This place was necessary, but it's not where I wanted to be the first time I did that again. But, I really can't complain since he's going to let me keep doing it now. He's the gift I've waited too long for, and I plan to unwrap him every single day for the rest of my life.

# Epilogue

### One Month Later

### Rhys

The past few weeks with Viv have flown by. Days filled with work and lunch dates, and nights filled with more dates, and passion. Okay, yeah, there's been passion during the day too, but it's the nights and mornings I love the most, and not just for the sex. Going to sleep with her in my arms, and waking up to the same—or sometimes something a little more invigorating—is better than I could've dreamed of.

She's not pregnant yet, but we're both hoping it will happen sooner, rather than later. For now, we're just having fun together, and loving each other hard. Which leads me to today.

This fountain inside a topiary maze holds a memory I need to re-make for her. And, for me. I'm not totally healed, and I don't know that I'll ever be, but I'm better, and she deserves the best of me, even though I gave her the worst.

"What is all this?" she asks, when she finds me inside the maze.

"A picnic celebration."

"What are we celebrating?"

"The day you gave me yourself again, even though it hurt you. After you stuff yourself with tiny sandwiches, and welsh cakes, I'm going to take advantage of your blissed-out state to make love to you."

"You know you don't have to get me food drunk for that."

"You deserve a little romance."

"Coming from the guy who finds little ways to romance me every single day."

"It's not ever going to be enough."

"Isn't that for me to decide? And, I thought you were done punishing yourself."

"Yes, and I am. Mostly."

"I knew you were planning something when you wanted us to come back here."

"I've planned many things. This is just the beginning."

"Good, because I love you too much to ever let you run away again."

"I love you too much to ever run."

It's a hard truth I had to learn, but now that we're here, I realize how much I could've missed out on if I'd stayed hidden inside of myself, letting the demons rule me. It's sobering to imagine how my life wouldn't played out if I hadn't had this woman, the friends who've become life brothers, and access to good mental health care. I'll never take any of it for granted again.

# Coming Soon

**Look for Cohen's book, _Vital Company_ , coming in November!**

# Acknowledgments

**Dominique, and Gabi, I love you!**

**Helen Williams, thanks again for the awesome covers!**

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**To all my readers, all over the world, thanks for sticking with me through the books that are hard to read, but necessary! I promise to make things fun sometimes, too!**

# About the Author

Crystal Perkins has always been a big reader, but she never thought she would write her own book, until she sat down and did it one day. She lives in Las Vegas, where you can find her running author events when she isn't reading, buying too many Sherlock t-shirts and LulaRoe leggings, or finding a place to put all of her Pop! figurines. In 2016, she won the Creative Initiatives Award from Romantic Times for encouraging literacy, and also the Community Advocate Award from the Clark County School Librarians Association. A mac and cheese connoisseur, she travels the country looking for the perfect version, while attending book conventions and signings as a cover for her research. The Griffin Brothers, Corrigan & Co., and the Society Girls series are all international best sellers, and she's thankful to the readers who made that happen.

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Find her here:

www.crystalperkinsauthor.com

facebook.com/crystalperkinsauthor

@wondermomlv
