Kuch ladkiyo ko har cheez se problem hoti
hai
 
Toh Ek baar ek haathi aur cheeti hote hain
Aur haathi poochta hai cheeti se hey
what color bra are you wearing
Aur cheetiyo ka hum sabko pata hai
ki bra nahi pehenti
 
Toh cheeti bolti hai nahi peheni hui
toh haathi bolta hai wow
 
meko yahi sunna tha
 
Mumbai floods me mere ek friend ka mujhe call aaya
 
aur usne mujhe bola
um main andheri station pe stuck hu
main tere ghar aa jau kya
Toh maine kaha dekh aaj main busy hun
 
Tu parso aa
toh usne mera phone kaat diya
Toh Shaam ko maine uske dad ko call kiya
ki aapka beta phone nahi utha raha hai
kya hua use
toh bolne lage
are wo toh mar gaya
aur fir details dene lag gaye
kaise uski dead body ghar pe aayi
ye sab wo sab
Toh maine kaha wo sab theek hai
par parso aa raha hai ki nahi
Toh uske dad ne bhi mera phone kaat diya
Mujhe lagta hai unki
family me hi kuch problem hai
phone kaat-te rehte hain baat baat pe
 
aur meri bhi kuch self-esteem hai
Toh main ab unke ghar pe call nahi karti
main bas miss call maar ke chod deti hu
 
 
Toh umm
pehle mujhe feminist word ka matlab ni pata tha
 
Maine kahi padha ek ladki ne likha tha
main feminist hu
aur main apni under arms ni karaati
 
 
So I thought
maybe feminists were broke girls
 
 
toh next time mujhe kisi ladki ne bola
main feminist hu
toh maine use 400 rupaye de diye
 
ki ye rakh full body wax ke paise
 
Toh mujhe lagta hai sati kuch aise shuru hua tha
ki sati se pehle indian wives
apne husband ki death
celebrate kiya karti thi
 
jaise funeral chal raha hai
aur bagal me ye bandi naach ri hai
aur fir ek uncle bolte hain
are ye bahot uchal rahi hai
ise bhi jala do
 
 
Jaise tum logo wo gaana suna hai
tadap tadap ke is dil se 
aah nikalti rahi
humko saza di aag ki
naachke aisa kya gunaah kiya
Maine bhi nahi suna
Main bas bol rahi hu ho sakta hai ye gaana
sense toh ban rahi hai iski
So i feel in those times
there used to be two types of girls
two gangs of girls
one was sati girls
jo maine tumhe bataya
ki husband mar gaya
ladki seedhiyo se bhaag rahi hai
in-laws lift se jaldi pahoch ke pakad lete hain
Second was johar girls
jo apni marzi se jalti thi
 
They were of the opinion
ki yar jalne me issues kya hai
 
kuch ladkiyo ko har cheez se problem hoti hai
It's just a matter of one jump ya
I don't support Sati
because i think burning alive must be painful
but when i think of it happening to some of the women i know
i am like chal iska toh banta hai
 
 
So i am a classeist
aur main gold-digger bhi hu
 
Mujhe gareeb ladke ni pasand
 
jaise aaj tum kisi gareeb ko date kar rahe ho
aur kal tumhe pata lagta hai
ki is bande ne tumhare
naam se chai ki tapri khol li hai
 
 
Par main casteism ko support ni karti
toh main apne friends ko bolti hu
tumko love marriage karni chahiye
Toh meri friend aayi aur usne mujhe bola
i really like this guy
and i want to marry him
Aur achhi baat ye hai ki meri hi caste ka hai
Toh maine kaha isme achhi baat kya
hai
Ladka aaj tujhe apni caste ka mila hai
kal out of caste bhi milega
par important ye hai
kranti ki mashaal bujhni ni chahiye
Toh tum log ke saath kabhi aisa hua hai
ki tumne suicide ka plan banaya hai
Aur fir achanak se log tumhare sath
achhe se pesh aane lagte hain
Aur fir tumhe samajh ni aata
ki is plan ka ab karna kya hai
Kyuki tumhare pass koi alternate
plan bhi hai nahi
Toh tum panic kar jate ho
aur police station phone karte ho
Hello inspector saab
umm mujhe lagta hai meri maut ko khatra hai
Tum logo ne wo quote suni hai
ki khud ko seriously
mat lo
kyuki 100 billion galaxies ki ek galaxy
ke ek solar system ke ek planet pe
tum bahot choti si entity ho
Toh tum is quote ki baat maan lete ho
khud ko seriously nahi lete
aur
ek din apne college nange chale jaate ho
Aur us din tumhe pata lagta hai ki
100 billion galaxies ki ek galaxy ke ek solar system ke
ek planet pe
tum akele ho jo college nange
ja rahe ho
Aur ab tumhare pass koi option nahi hai
na college change karne ka na galaxy
Ab tumhari best bet yahi hai ki
tum Mars Mission ko support karo
Aur agar tumhari kismat kharab hui
toh tumhe mars pe bhi koi mil jaega
jo kahega
Are tu toh wahi hai
jo us din college nanga aaya tha
 
So i have been watching a lot of cooking videos
these days
par mujhe faayda nahi ho raha hai
kyunki kisi bhi cooking video me
tumhe ye ni bataya jaata
ki kitna namak daalna hai
They are like "Salt To Taste"
And i am like
agar mujhe itna pata hota
ki kitne salt se
kitna taste aayega
toh main tumhare videos
thode na dekh rahi hoti
 
 
But i feel ki indian context me ye sahi hai
 
kyunki hamare yaha thoda sa
namak kam zyada ho
toh aurato ki pitai ho jaati hai
 
So these videos are like
jitne namak se
tumhare ghar me shaanti bani rahe
daal lo
