

### Chasing

### The

### Dragon

### An addiction to living

### Valerie Davies

THE SOUND OF WATER

\- WHAT READERS HAVE SAID:

" _I'm feeling quite sad because I have eked out every page of your splendid book by reading as slowly as I know how, and can put off "finishing it" no longer. I've gone back and back to re-read many sections, for the pure joy of it. Soon, I'll savour the treat of making the.... was it Lemon? cake. I might have to search through the book to find that recipe again. Aha! I'll experience the joy of "having to search through the book" yet again."_

' _A sense of looking in to life rich in family and friends... wonderful descriptions of birds and animals, and flowers and food... makes me feel more contemplative about the life I am living, which is a great gift from a writer to a reader'._

' _A truly descriptive and romantic writer'_

' _laugh-out-loud-moments with your out-of-the-side-of-the-mouth humour'._

' _Turns small experiences into gold.'_

' _Loved the honesty and the humour'_

' _A warm and elegant and intelligent writer'_

Copyright Valerie Davies © 2012

PUBLISHED BY MERLINCOURT PRESS

PRINT COPIES OF THIS BOOK AVAILABLE FROM:

PO BOX 161

LEIGH 0947

NEW ZEALAND

merlincourtpress@gmail.com

Valerie's blog, on which this book is based:

www.valeriedavies.com

SMASHWORDS EDITION

November 2012

Formatted and uploaded by Peter Harris, Wizard of Eutopia, at the New Leaf Network bindery,

The Story Ark, 1945 SH1, Kaiwaka.

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### CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

DEFINITELY NOT BIRD-BRAINED

THE WINDSOR KNOT

NO OFFENCE MEANT!

TALE OF A GLUTTON

LOVE IS THE FOOD OF MUSIC

BLONDES VERSUS BRUNETTES

LET US EAT CAKE

PRESENT BUT NOT TENSE

TOP DOGS

RANDOM ACTS OF FUN

OF DUCHESSES AND DOCTORS

FAREWELL TO GEORGE

PARADISES LOST

A BRAVE NEW WORLD

GUERRILLA GARDENERS

MENTAL KNITTING

ROYAL POWER GAMES

LADIES WHO LUNCH MERRILY

YOUNG MEN WALKING TO THEIR DEATH

LOVE OF A LION

DEDICATED FOLLOWERS OF FASHION

PASSION IN PROVENCE

BEDAZZLED BY THEIR JEWELS

REAL THINGS MATTER

ANOTHER MILESTONE

BOOKS TAKING OVER THE HOUSE

A VILLAGE IS A WORLD

REAL OLYMPICS

MORE ABOUT BOOKS

BUYING A NEW CAR

NO GOLD MEDAL FOR THIS DRIVER

CULTURE, HISTORY, GLAMOUR AND BEAUTY

I'M CRAZY FOR POWER

BLOGGER'S COMPLEXES

BOOKS THAT TAUGHT US THE SECRET OF LIFE

HAPPINESS IS OUR BIRTHRIGHT

RAMBLING THROUGH YOUTUBE

WHALES, WINE AND WOMEN

TRAVELS IN FOODIE HEAVEN

WHEN ELEPHANTS WEPT AND GORILLAS DANCED

LIFE'S LIKE THAT

BLOGGERS ADDICTIONS

MORE

Dedicated

To my grandchildren

May they always be addicted to living

INTRODUCTION

Chasing the Dragon is an old Chinese euphemism for opium addiction. I think it's a lovely phrase, conjuring up perilously beautiful legendary beasts and a dangerous quest. This little book is not about a dangerous quest, but is in a way, about an addiction, though not to opium.

It's a collection of stories written for my blog, a word which some may not be familiar with, but which is a description of a sort of internet journal. In my case, it's not a journal, but a portmanteau of ideas, topics, people, fun and food which took my fancy. But as I wrote, and became connected with people all over the world who read and commented on my blogs, just as I read and commented on theirs, it became an addiction.

Blogging is not just writing but is also a conversation with like-minded people. So though I began writing just for the pleasure of it, and still do, there's the added dimension of intelligent appreciation and comment from a world-wide audience.

In fact, blogging is a whole sub-culture and a world of its own, with its own vocabulary. We 'Like' other blogs, we 'Follow' other blogs, and we 'Comment' on other blogs. And we try not to become addicted, because it can also become very time-consuming. The last story in this little book is called Bloggers Addiction. It's one of the most popular blogs I've written, because it reflects our common experience.

So I hope you'll enjoy chasing the dragon with me too.

DEFINITELY NOT BIRD-BRAINED

Savouring a flat white and a muffin in the coffee-shop court-yard, I turned my head to watch some children peering into the goldfish pond. When I turned back to my coffee, a ring of sparrows had silently hopped onto the table and up to the muffin. They actually understood human anatomy and knew that when I turned my head, I couldn't see them.

I used to feed the little rascals at home. All nine or ten of them. Not actually at home. Under a tree outside the garden where I could watch them from the sitting room window. That way less danger from the cat.

I also fed the dozen or so mynahs, a little way further from the tree so that they wouldn't frighten off the smaller birds. Moist bread for the mynahs, wheat and birdseed, and when I ran out, porridge flakes for the others. They loved it all. They told their friends. Within a couple of weeks I had at least a hundred sparrows, four or five doves, some itinerant blackbirds, the odd chaffinch and an occasional thrush.

They had also worked out where this largesse came from. They waited in the plum tree outside the kitchen window and watched me until I came out with their breakfast. And for a couple of hours they sat and barracked me from the plum tree and the garage roof in the afternoon, until I sallied forth with afternoon tea – theirs.

A great whoosh of wings accompanied me to the tree. Then I had to make sure that the neighbour's ancient lonely dog was not hovering in hope of a dog biscuit. If she was, I had to return with the bird food, and dig out a biscuit and walk her down the road with it, away from the bird food which she would have gobbled up. Dog distracted, back to the birds.

If I was out, they would be waiting for me at the bottom of the road. They recognised my white car, and swooped from telegraph pole to telegraph pole all the way down the street with the car. They'd then hover round the garage yelling "she's back, she's back" until I came out. If I went for a walk, they'd fly down the road with me, and wait on the corner.

Finally the worm turned. There were so many birds I couldn't keep up with them, and was buying a large sack of wheat from the farmers shop each week, as well as extra bread for the greedy mynahs – money I could ill-afford. The garden was becoming white with droppings, and I was back to the chaos of when I'd had a bird table. The sparrows could probably have made a pot of tea themselves, they'd watched me so intently through the kitchen window for so long.

A short holiday in Melbourne solved the problem. They gave up waiting. I felt guilty but relieved. They didn't need the food out here in the country. It was just my hobby which had got out of hand.

But I now have a hearty respect for the intelligence of bird brains.

Feeling a cold coming on, I shall treat myself to a comforting pick-me-up – a tot of Stone's ginger wine, the juice of an orange, a spoonful of honey and some hot water. It goes straight to the cockles of the heart, warms the chest and helps a cough.

THE WINDSOR KNOT

The world's greatest love story? Not really. The world's greatest demonstration of what co-dependency means more like.

I had gone with the Windsor's to bed with Anne Sebba's book "That Woman". Sebba makes it clear that Wallis didn't want to marry an ex-King, but was happy to be connected to a King, but she doesn't resolve the riddle of why Edward, an emotionally stunted middle-aged man (Wallis refers to him as Peter Pan in her letters) became hopelessly besotted with a tough woman who publicly bullied and humiliated him. Yet to untie the Windsor knot it's only necessary to look at Edward's childhood.

Sebba makes the point that Wallis was determined to marry a rich man because she'd had a trying childhood with not enough money. Well, there are plenty of us in that boat. But many others would have different goals and don't all want to marry for status and the entree to the best parties. In some ways, Wallis was a classic Southern belle, having learned to listen and please men, dress to perfection and revel in parties - Scarlett O'Hara to the life.

Sebba also suggests that since many aspects of Wallis's appearance were so masculine, including the lack of breasts, the broad shoulders, big ugly hands, strong mannish jaw, and an apparent inability to have children, she suffered from a form of Disorder of Sexual Development. This, Sebba felt, would have been the unconscious mainspring behind her desire for perfection. Whatever the reason, Wallis's life seemed to be dominated by the desire for expensive jewels, exquisite clothes, the best parties and liaisons with rich fashionable people.

Edward already had all this stuff in spades. What he also had was a much worse childhood than Wallis, who had always been beloved, in which for the first three years of his life he was cared for by a sadistic dominating nanny. When she took him down to the drawing-room for the normal half an hour with the parents that rich Edwardian children enjoyed, she pinched him till it hurt outside the door, so that he entered crying. His un-maternal mother Queen Mary, and irascible father, King George promptly sent him out again, as they didn't know what to do with a crying toddler.

So Edward's childhood was dominated by a cold distant mother and by the cruel nanny, who finally had a nervous breakdown when he was three, and it was discovered she had never had a day off in three years. It's a psychological truism that the experiences with parents before the age of three, shape the relationships that we have with our significant others for the rest of our lives. So Edward was simply replicating his childhood and trying to please a rather cruel and dominating woman who was just like his nanny. The treadmill of an unresolved childhood.

In psychological jargon, the Windsors had an interlocking racket, and since neither of them changed in all their years together, neither did the racket change. That, it seems to me is the real story of their marriage, not that it was a great love-story, but rather, an enduring saga of co-dependency.

Last night I went to a seminar on the benefits of juicing. So in the spirit of self-denial, I've decided to give up carbohydrates (as a foodie this deprivation may not last). But before I do, I'm having one last fling with carbs- a freshly baked loaf. This recipe has no kneading or proving in a warm cupboard. It's simplicity itself. Just three cups of self-raising flour, a pinch of salt and a bottle of beer made up to 400mls with water. Mix them all together, put in a greased loaf-tin in a medium to hot oven, and cook for about an hour or until it sounds hollow when you tap it. Delicious hot or cold, with lashings of real butter.

NO OFFENCE MEANT!

I saw a lovely picture in a newspaper of an English toff, dressed up to the nines, at an English country wedding.. Black morning coat, grey-black pin-striped trou, grey waistcoat – but you couldn't see it. Instead there was a grey baby cradle firmly pinned to his chest and looped around his shoulders, holding a very newborn baby. Instead of a top-hat, he was carrying a blue and white spotted bag holding, presumably, all the disposable nappies, wipes and other paraphernalia a Western baby requires.

He was actually the English Culture Secretary, Jeremy Hunt, but it was his role as a Dad which looked so impressive, as with broad smile on his face, and without a trace of embarrassment, he strode into the wedding behind his wife holding their toddler.

Time was when a man like him wouldn't have even been seen pushing a pram. It's a great leap forward for men, and mothers and their children too, that men are actually not bashful any more about being seen to be caring sensitive fathers, or even sensitive new age guys ( SNAGS). So it seemed all the sadder to read another item on the same page about how the National Health Service has banned the use of the word 'Dad' in its information pamphlets, using 'partner' instead, so as not to offend same sex couples.

As I thought about this, I thought how much of our lives these days is taken up with not offending people - Moslems, lesbians, gays, among others – these are the ones that spring to mind, maybe because they seem to be offended more often. But are they? And do we take the same trouble not to offend Christians, men, children, and animals who all also get their feelings trampled on sometimes too. Do we have a license to be offended these days if we belong to a minority group or even a majority group?

It seems to me that when we allow ourselves to be offended by the innocent use of an archetypal word like father or dad, we are actually taking it personally, and making everyone else responsible for offending us, which is another way of saying, 'making us angry.'

But life is a lot happier and less stressful if we don't take offence and take everything personally. In his wonderful book called 'The Four Agreements', a book which must have made a lot of people feel happier and more fulfilled, Miguel Ruiz deals with the question of taking things personally, which usually means feeling hurt or offended – i.e. angry.

The Second Agreement reads "Don't take anything personally."

'Nothing others do is because of you', he writes. 'What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be a victim of needless suffering'.

He reminds us that by taking responsibility for our own feelings, and giving up blaming other people for hurting our feelings, we can give up being offended and feel free instead. Maybe instead of writing politically correct pamphlets and destroying the use of words that have been valued for centuries, bureaucrats could instead, give the offended a copy of "The Four Agreements"! And maybe pigs Could fly too!

In spite of resolving to give up carbohydrates after reading that too many are what cause arthritis, I still have to feed the resident male, which means carbohydrates. But I've found a way of eating my favourite vegetables, parsnips, which I fear are full of carbohydrates and sugar too, without causing too much damage. (I hope)

Roasted of course with the meat, they're par-boiled first. Then drained and thrown around the pot with the lid on to make rough edges on them. Add some flour and bang them round the saucepan again, till they're covered in flour. Then spoon hot oil or fat over them in a roasting dish. At this point I usually sprinkle them with maple syrup or brown sugar, but found a better way this time. I sprinkled them with stevia powder, the sweet herb which substitutes for sugar. You buy it in health food shops. The taste was sublime! Crunchy sweet parsnips with roast lamb and all the trimmings.

TALE OF A GLUTTON

I found a packet of custard creams at our well-named local grocer, Nosh.

Now this may be of small interest to many people, but not to this foodie, to use a polite word for gourmand. I grew up on custard creams as a particular treat in post-war England, and a frowned –upon pleasure of a delicately dunked custard cream in a nice cup of tea – preferably China tea - takes me back to those distant days of my youth.

Whenever friends visit from the UK, top of my list of please - brings, are the custard creams, closely followed by rich tea biscuits. These are plain and uniquely English - no-one else would bother to look twice at them. But again, they reek of nostalgia for me, the only biscuit to have with an early morning cup of tea in bed, and an infinitely adaptable biscuit, equally at home with morning tea, afternoon tea, or a late night snack.

Neither of these biscuits are available in New Zealand, my home for over forty years, but I still crave for these old fashioned goodies. But now to my delight, the grocer is suddenly importing one of them. Unfortunately, they haven't also branched out into another delicacy which has always been unavailable in this land of milk and manukau honey, lamb, and now wine. I'm talking about those circular tin boxes, wrapped in stiff and very thick, crinkled coloured tin foil, containing marrons glacees. To call them crystallised chestnuts would be to rob them of half their glamour. These too, come tumbling out of visitor's suit cases on arrival, and it pains me to have to share them in the interests of good manners.

When we first arrived in this country, Mars Bars, the creamy malted bars with a thick layer of caramel, chewy insides, and covered in wavy patterns of milk chocolate, were also unobtainable. To the uninitiated, the words Mars Bars may be puzzling, but even such an authoritative journal as the UK Financial Times once devoted an article to Mars Bars, reaching the conclusion that they were the only commodity surviving since the thirties which is still worth its weight in gold. This fact of course, gives added relish as I sink my teeth into the lovely soft innards of the chocolate .

I was foolish enough to introduce this scarce treat to the children, so then three of us hankered after them, and again, any distant traveller mentioning a trip to the Antipodes was suborned into bringing a few Mars Bars with them, ahead of the list of biscuits.

When my husband was leaving Heath Row after a quick business trip to London, he remembered at the airport, he had an order for Mars Bars, and was about to buy half a dozen when he thought to himself, well, why not get the whole box. So he arrived with thirty six Mars Bars. Sadly, between me and the children they only lasted five days.

I think that is probably genuine gluttony. But so delicious.

My recipes tend to be frugal, and the antithesis of gourmet food, but they are the sort of dishes which would see a thread-bare gourmet through hard times. So perhaps that's what I'll call them :

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

Since our chickens come without the giblets these days, which used to be the makings of decent gravy, I've given up gravy. Visitors blanch when I tell them I don't do gravy as I set the roast chicken on the table. But they soon cheer up when I hand them this dish, the recipe given to me by a French friend. I always have to make lots, as it disappears fast.

Gently sauté as many mushrooms as you want in some butter and oil, and add finely chopped garlic. I used plenty, as garlic is half the point of this. While they're still cooking, add cream and a chicken bouillon cube or two. Let the cream boil up and thicken. If it looks as though the mushrooms might get over cooked, I just fish them out for this stage. When the cream is the consistency you like, return the mushrooms with plenty of chopped parsley, and season with black pepper, salt if you feel it needs it. I serve this with a roast, or it's also good on thick toasted slices of good bread.

LOVE IS THE FOOD OF MUSIC

I saw La Traviata yesterday for the second time in three days, and I'd see it again if I could. Typically, the ultra-modern designer had imposed his ideas on the story and the staging, but he couldn't change the glorious music, and the heart-breaking love story – so much more moving than Romeo and Juliet.

So Natalie Dessay was required to play Violetta as a heavy- drinking tart, not the elegant refined courtesan the real Marie Plessis was. On the other hand, the power and the glory of Il Magnifico, the Russian bass-baritone Dmitri Hvorostovsky, lifted the angry, arrogant, interfering father, the in-advertent villain of the piece, to heights of nobility. There was hardly a woman in the audience or at the New York Met, from which this opera was beamed, who wouldn't have flung herself at his feet, as the roar from the audience testified. And of course, he's not just a glorious voice, but also a pretty face – named one of the world's fifty most beautiful people in a People magazine poll.

But tart or not, Natalie Dessay reduced me to tears with the pathos and beauty of her singing and acting in this part. She looked as ravaged at the end as though she really was dying both of TB and a broken heart..

I hurried home and googled Greta Garbo playing the same role in the film 'Camille' in 1936. When I was a teenager, my stepmother asked me to go to a cinema matinee with her. I went from politeness to see this old film from her sentimental past.

I sat through the matinee with her, and she left to go home. I sat through the next showing, and finally the last showing that evening. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. When I looked at it again yesterday I felt the same. Garbo, at the height of her beauty was utterly ravishing, and the young Robert Taylor was an arrestingly beautiful young man. Garbo played Violetta, or Marguerite, as she was called in this film, with infinite refinement, delicacy and tenderness. Her clothes were exquisite, and even her shoulders emerging from glorious confections of tulle and taffeta, were achingly beautiful. I don't think there has been another cinema star as beautiful and refined as she was.

The interesting thing was that the real Marie Plessis was just as beautiful and refined. Brought up by an alcoholic father, begging on the streets at ten, sent to be a comfort woman as a twelve year old to an old man, escaping to be a seamstress in Paris, she didn't earn enough to live on, but found, in conductor Sir Thomas Beecham's the notorious phrase, that she had a gold mine between her legs. By the age of sixteen she had taken up with the young nobleman who was the model for Alfredo in the opera, she had learned to read and write, to ride side-saddle, and acquired all the accomplishments she saw that other women had. She was a fast learner. And by then she had already become a celebrated courtesan.

The country idyll with her young nobleman was broken up by his father just as in the opera, which was based on Alexandre Dumas' book 'La dame aux Camellias', expensive camellias being her favourite flower.

She was eventually re-united with the young nobleman, and they married in England, though the marriage was invalid in France. But it gave her a title and respectability. The nobleman faded out of her life, but she continued her amazing career, having an affair with Liszt, who appears to have been the only man she ever really loved, and with Dumas, who wrote her story. Her salon in Paris included some of the most eminent men of the age, including Honore de Balzac, Alfred de Musset and Theophile Gautier. And then she died at the age of twenty-three.

I'm humbled at what she achieved in such a short space of time, totally self-educated, never showing any sign of her appalling childhood, but personifying grace, beauty, " a great deal of heart, and a great liveliness of spirit" according to her lover, Franz Liszt. She conquered one of the mostly highly civilised societies in the world. What a woman. What a girl.

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

.

When I was a single mother supporting two children on a tiny wage, tins of salmon were a staple in my cupboard. This recipe for fish cakes involves a tin of salmon or tinned herrings, mashed potato, an egg, and mixed dried herbs.

Boil and mash the potatoes with butter but only a dash of milk since you want them to be quite firm. Break up the salmon, or herrings in tomato sauce if you can get them, and mix them into the potatoes, including the tomato sauce. You need to work out the right balance of fish to potato, but I find one tin will make about eight round fishcakes. Add an egg to the potatoes and fish to bind them, plus lots of mixed herbs to taste, salt and pepper.

Divide into fishcakes and roll in flour. Fry till both sides are nice and crisp and the inside hot. If you have any left over, they can be re-heated in the oven, and I often made a double quantity so there were plenty the next day. Serve with green vegetables or a salad, and make a tomato sauce with fried tomatoes, olive oil, and a touch of sugar if you feel like it.

BLONDES VERSUS BRUNETTES

The slogan 'Persil washes whiter' was my first experience of discrimination.

There, under my affronted eight- year- old gaze were these huge hoardings, and on one was a sparkling white double sheet pinned to the clothes line, and blowing in the wind, with a sparkling blonde admiring with smug pleasure the results of her domesticity. On the matching hoarding a grey sheet was pinned to the line with a brunette looking glum – presumably Persil thought sluts looked glum as well as dark-haired.

So I grew up feeling the injustice of assuming that because a woman had fair hair, she had other advantages. As the blondes paraded across the world's stages, on screen and telly and magazine front covers, the feeling that gentlemen did indeed prefer blondes continued to be reinforced. And the blondes were undeniably gorgeous - sex bombs like Marilyn Monroe and Brigitte Bardot, would-be princesses like Grace Kelly to real ones like Diana. Even Margaret Thatcher, Britain's first woman prime minister was a blonde. Blondes seemed to have all the advantages, based not on gender, talent or nationality, but hair colour.

Perhaps the unkindest cut of all to a brunette, was the remark of the woman who served me in the corner shop. She had always been a perfectly acceptable and slightly mousy person with light brown hair. One Monday morning after a long weekend, she stood behind the counter triumphantly blonde and beaming. I made no comment. But as the weeks went by, I asked her if she felt different now she was blonde. She looked at me with sparkling eyes – "I've never had so much fun in my life. I'd never go back to being dark". I walked out gnashing my teeth.

The world's brunettes didn't give me much encouragement either. Jane Russell was too brazen to be taken seriously, while Jackie Kennedy, with her little girl voice, tragic destiny, and un-used opportunities to change the world in some way with all her influence and mana, was a bit of a let-down. Then there was tragic, raven-haired Queen Soraya, the beautiful Persian empress dismissed because she didn't conceive an heir. She simply retired to the ski slopes in her large black sunglasses which became her trademark long before Jackie Kennedy learned to hide behind hers. I longed for both these women to have used all the goodwill and influence at their disposal to achieve something great.

But the times they are a-changing, and the habit 'of centuries breaks, cracks, begins to move' and in what seems like a just re-arrangement of destiny, brunettes are now beginning to have their day in the sun. It began with the blessed Mary, the long haired Australian brunette who married the Crown Prince of Denmark, and then the also-blessed dark-haired Kate Middleton who snaffled her prince from under the noses of countless blonde society beauties.

Better still, some research has shown that brunettes tend to be paid better than blondes in the work force, as they are perceived to be more intelligent than blondes. Now we're talking. And then there are the blonde jokes, many relayed to me by my grandsons who have more of a foot in the modern world than I. Maybe the crest of the wave was reached the day I was served with my coffee by a pretty blonde waitress. She wore a slogan on her t-shirt, which read: "Speak slowly. Genuine blonde". A statement which told me many things, and laid my old demons to rest.

And as the years go by, while Persil's blondes may continue to wash whiter, their roots will only get darker. Brunettes, on the other hand, will grow old gracefully - I think!

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

It's a bright sunny day in this corner of the Antipodes, and absolutely freezing. So I have the hot pot on for comforting pea and ham soup.

After washing the dried peas, several handfuls or more, put them in the hotpot. Add one after the other, three chopped carrots, and a hambone or pieces of bacon if you haven't got a knuckle from the butcher. Then a chopped onion, a couple of chopped celery sticks, one or two chopped garlic cloves, a bay leaf, salt and pepper. Cover with boiling water, and leave to simmer away for five hours or more on high, or until it's all cooked. Fish out the bone, by which time all the meat should be falling off it. I whizz the peas and vegetables in the blender, leaving some to make the soup a bit chunky.

Before eating, throw in lots of chopped parsley, and if you like, make some croutons - good bread cubed, and fried in olive oil. Make plenty, and freeze the rest for another cold day. You can use lentils instead of peas, in which case I use chicken stock cubes. Make sure the dried peas aren't old, or they will never really soften.

LET US EAT CAKE

Poor Marie Antoinette. She never said it. But she's suffered from that blighting propaganda ever since. What she needed, and still needs, is a good spin doctor to right her wrongs, but until she gets one, her name is indelibly associated with cake.

In the days when a woman's place was in the home, and preferably in the kitchen, cake was part of that equation. I grew up in the fifties when women were still supposed to be there, and watched my stepmother struggle with the expectations around cake. Her steak and kidney puddings had to be tasted to be believed, her steak pies with perfect pastry were sumptuous, as were her heavenly steamed puddings and apple pies, but cakes were not her thing.

The pinnacle of cake-makings skills back then was the Victoria sponge. A pretty boring version of cake, and now long out of favour, but back then, the classic Victoria sponge was a firm cake cooked in two tins, and glued together with raspberry jam, the top sprinkled with icing sugar. Simple, but like all simple things, more difficult than it looks.

I would come home from school in the afternoon, and find my stepmother had had another go at a sponge, and was pretty down in the mouth, because as usual, it had sunk in the middle. As much as we were allowed to do, I fell on these failures, and revelled in the sunken, soggy, sweet middle - the best part, I thought of the cake. Sadly, years later, I discovered that my stepmother thought I was sending her up when I enthused about how delicious it was.

A few years later, living in Malaya she was rescued from the kitchen by an amah who certainly didn't bake cakes. Instead, like every other amah, she delivered a tea tray with rich tea biscuits and tiny Malayan bananas to the bedroom every day at four o'clock, to wake the dozing memsahibs from their afternoon rest in the tropical heat. With the pressure to produce the perfect sponge lifted from her shoulders, my stepmother began to be more interested in cake, and one holiday I came home from boarding school and was invited to experiment with making something called a boiled fruit cake – no creaming and beating, just a bit of mixing and boiling before baking.

So began the process of producing a cake in the tropics in the fifties. First the flour had to be sieved to get the weevils out. Every egg had to be broken into a separate cup to make sure none of them were bad, as indeed, many of them were. The rest of the makings came out of the food safe, which was a primitive cupboard made with wire mesh to ensure some movement of air in the sticky heat. It stood on legs two feet off the floor. The legs were placed in used sardine tins or similar, which were kept filled with water, to deter ants from invading the food.

The cake was simply a mix of all the ingredients and then baked. It wasn't just soggy and sweet in the middle, it was soggy and sweet all through – just my sort of cake.

When I had my own kitchen, my ambition to eat cake was permanently at war with my determination never to get bogged down with the hard labour of creaming and beating that seemed to be involved in making a cake. But I found a temporary solution in the first months of my marriage \- a cake that didn't even have to be cooked – it was made from mostly crushed biscuit crumbs, melted butter and chocolate and finished off in the fridge. It was even a success with old school friends who'd mastered the whole baking thing, and could even do a crème brulee.

But the real break-through came when reading the old Manchester Guardian as it was called then. Highbrow though the womens' pages were, Guardian women were not too cerebral to eat. And hidden away one day in a sensible article on cakes – nothing frivolous, just egalitarian, down to earth, common sense advice – I found the answer to cake-making. Instead of creaming the butter, or beating it with the eggs or the sugar, all we had to do was MELT the butter and stir it in.

This simple technique I applied to chocolate cakes, lemon cakes, you- name- it cakes. It's carried me through a life-time of eating cake and I've never even considered making a Victoria sponge.

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

Threadbare gourmets sometimes have to break out, and there's no point in trying to make something delicious and then economising on the ingredients, so cakes for hungry paupers still need their full quota of butter, eggs and sugar. Apples, though usually the cheapest fruit, are also one of the most delicious. So this is an apple cake, complete with melted butter.

You need two large apples peeled, 150 g melted butter, a cup of castor sugar, two large lightly beaten eggs, a teaspoon of vanilla essence, one and a half cups of SR flour.

Grease and line the cake tin. Mix the sugar, butter, eggs and vanilla, sift in the flour, and then slice the apples into the mix and stir. Tip into the greased and floured cake tin, and sprinkle some caster sugar over the top. Bake in a moderate oven – about 160 degrees, for 45 to 60 minutes. Test with knitting needle or similar to check it's cooked through, and leave in the tin to cool completely.

PRESENT BUT NOT TENSE

Leaving my monthly meeting, I drove home under the full moon. As I left the city and began to drive through empty country roads with no street lights, the moon shone whitely down on the fields and hills, so that they looked as though they slept under a frosting of snow.

I sang various rough and ready versions of arias from La Traviata, which was still on my mind, cracking on the high notes, and missing the low ones entirely as I flew along the quiet roads . At the monthly mediation group I'd been to, I sat next to two sisters, not twins, but so alike in spite of seven years between them, the youngest only twenty-one, that they could have been. Both beautiful, gentle and good. I was the oldest there by a good twenty years, and they were the youngest. It made me feel good just to look at them.

At the end of an hour's driving under the moon, I walked to the edge of the cliff when I got home to watch the wide path of light across the sea. No sound but the susurrations of the waves licking against the rocks below. As I made my way down the path to the door, I eased a few ripe guavas off the over-hanging branches, and sucked their tangy sweetness.

And I awoke to the sound of the tuis, the black and turquoise song-birds with their white bow-tie bobbing at their throat, singing their sweet songs to each other in the trees around the house. In the warm winter sunshine I took my breakfast tray into the garden and sat on the garden seat, and watched and listened to six tuis in the pururi tree above me. They sucked the honey out of the pink flowers with their long curved beaks, and warbled love-songs to each other as they sprang from branch to branch.

The albertine rose which should only flower in spring is blooming riotously over the trellis arch, where it twines into the ivy and the perpetually flowering mutabilis rose. With blue ageratum sprawling around the garden beds, and deep pink cannas, pink daisies and purple pansies, the garden feels as flowery as though it's summer instead of almost midwinter.

To have time to stand and stare is one of the great compensations for this stage of life when playing tennis is a distant memory, and climbing mountains a permanent impossibility.

When I was young I used to look at older people sitting in deck-chairs gazing out to sea, instead of racing along the beach, or plunging into the sea like me with shrieks of laughter. Poor old things I patronisingly thought to myself, life must be so boring. I know better now. They were probably enjoying themselves far more than I, savouring the little things in life that I was far too busy even to notice. Some people call this mindfulness.

In his book 'Peace is Every Step', Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh has a chapter called Present Moment, Wonderful Moment. That's how it seemed, sitting in the garden eating my toast and drinking my coffee this morning.

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

I'm racking my brains for something quick and spoily to give my grand-daughter when she comes tomorrow to teach me how to use my computer, i.e., get into Facebook, and all the other wonders of social media.

Since we're having roast chicken tonight, I'll keep the breasts for lunch tomorrow. I'll make a thick parsley sauce, almost emerald green with parsley, and flavoured with some of the chicken essences and a few sliced mushrooms sautéed in butter. I'll chop the chicken breasts into small chunks and stir into the sauce. I have some emergency puff pastry vol au vents in my store cupboard, and they'll be filled with the chicken mixture and heated up. We'll eat them with new potatoes, carrots and peas. A quick emergency pudding will be artisan ice-cream made by the chap down the road, with meringues – another store cupboard stand-bye for grand-children, all doused in a chocolate sauce from a gourmet bottle given to me at Christmas. That should do it!

PS. The best way to have green green parsley is to plunge it into boiling water for a minute. When you take it out and chop it, it keeps its bright emerald colour.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT:

_A job is what we do for money; work is what we do for love._ Mary Sarah Quinn

TOP DOGS

'I would like, to begin with, to say that though parents, husbands, children, lovers and friends are all very well, they are not dogs'. How true.

Elizabeth Von Arnim wrote this opening sentence in her autobiography. And I could well write the same. Without going back to childhood to catalogue all the doggie divinities who've ruled my affections, in the last forty years of my second marriage we've clocked up round-about fifteen or seventeen assorted dogs. It's difficult to be accurate, because it depends on whether we count the dogs we had for a few weeks before realising they were going to kill the others from jealousy, or the ones who adopted us for periods but couldn't stay the distance, or had to be reluctantly returned to the owners they'd run away from. Thinking about those ones breaks me up. I wish we'd just kept quiet when I saw one poor lab slink back to her master with her tail between her legs.

We rarely chose the dogs who shared our lives. They came to us, sometimes because they had no home, or because some-one rang and said a dog needed a home. And there always seemed to be lost dogs needing to be rescued. One day my husband came home from work to find the family in the back garden, two cavaliers and a saluki, and a Pyrenean mountain hound tied up in the front as I didn't dare let the saluki see a rival.

So we had a number of afghans, six Cavalier King Charles spaniels, two at a time, a labrador or two, a boxer, several salukis, a borzoi, a mastiff, a mastiff boxer cross. The borzoi had been found lying on the concrete floor of a cage with a scarcely healed broken leg, the boxer-mastiff cross had been left to starve when his owner went to prison and the girl friend walked out. When found three weeks later, his black coat had bleached to pale cream, and his ribs stuck out like a concentration camp victim. The vet said he had one more day in him.

It took months to get him back to black, and if we went out without him, we left the lights on, and a big sack of dog biscuits open by him, so he always knew there was plenty of food. The dogs who had been in happy homes, and were being "let-go" for various reasons, usually took about six months to settle in and realise that this was their new home where they were loved. The rescued dogs settled in straight away, with devoted gratitude. They knew they had been rescued and that they were only too welcome with us.

One little Cavalier King Charles, who looked like a grumpy Charles the Second with his long curly black ears framing his face like the King's wig, finally rolled over for me to tickle his tummy as he lay on my un-made bed in the sunshine, after six months. That was his turning point. Another cavalier made it clear she belonged, when after six months her previous owners came to see her, and when they left, she remained on the steps with us, and watched them get back in their car. But even the sad, badly treated, rescued dogs would often crane to look when they saw a car that looked like their previous owner's car. What intelligence and loyalty.

My brother's labrador, after my brother's three years absence overseas, when he visited the farm, didn't wait for an invitation, but went straight out and sat in the back of the land-rover till my brother drove off with him. Who says animals don't remember?

Two dogs are more fun than one dog, and three dogs are even more fun. On the rare occasions when we had one dog, he or she ran the house, and became top dog, so it was actually better for our self esteem to have at least two dogs. True, there's less room on the bed, when you have two, and two lots of snores and scratching and general re-arranging can be somewhat disturbing, but I read in an English survey that we are not alone in this, and that seventy per cent of dog owners sleep with their dogs, and a surprisingly large number said they'd rather sleep with their dog than their partner!

Our last dog was a bull mastiff, the gentlest creature in the world but so strong that he pulled my husband over, and broke two ribs. He finally departed for the great kennel in the sky, leaving us with just the cat, after a life-time of living with dogs, and going to the vet and bathing and walking and brushing and feeding and de-fleaing.

I'm now down to looking after an elderly husband. And instead I drive him to the doctor, the dentist, the hearing aid repair people, the specialist, the optometrist. So I don't walk as much anymore. I don't miss the bed-time ritual of getting them to go out and pee, especially on cold rainy nights, but I miss everything else. So I have to cuddle the neighbour's dogs, which include a black Labrador, a black and white English pointer, a little black bitsa, and a blissfully snorting bulldog, his master's pride and joy.

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

When hungry and in a hurry, there's nothing like pasta. Any pasta. I always keep freshly grated Parmesan in the deep freeze, so in hungry emergencies all I have to do is boil some pasta, chop some parsley, and when the pasta's cooked and drained, stir in a beaten egg with cream and parmesan, and sprinkle over parsley. The other quickie is to saute tomatoes in olive oil, add garlic and parsley if you fancy, and tip the tomatoes over the pasta with parmesan on the top. I even love pasta with just melted butter and Parmesan. Hunger is the best appetiser there is.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT:

God, I can push the grass apart

And lay my finger on Thy heart.

\- Edna St Vincent Millay 1882 – 1950 American poet, playwright and feminist

RANDOM ACTS OF FUN

Someone's done it again! Dropped a silver coin in the dogs drink bowl outside my gate!

I love it! The fun of pretending it's a wishing well. It's happened a few times over the years, and I always have a giggle, and love to think of someone standing there, looking at the bowl, deciding to have a bit of fun, and then dropping a fifty cent piece into the water. It's a deep one for thirsty dogs, and wasps, and birds who also bath in it, and who make me keep changing the water. (I had no idea how dusty birds got until they began bathing in the aluminium- silver drinking bowl).

I love too, the whacky knitters who have covered the ropes and bollards in the centre of our nearest village with knitted crowns on the bollards and coloured cords twined around the ropes, all in glorious mismatched riotous colours. Hope the fun police don't rip them off like they did the Father Christmas knitted white beards and red hats – (a numbingly huge job to make) which the same jolly knitters prised onto the out-size male and female heads which adorn the edge of the walls of the local loos

I can also visualise the Puritans who once confiscated the diaper (or nappy depending where you live), carefully draped around a huge bronze discus player's private parts on a statue at the entrance to an Auckland park. It must have taken the guilty students ages to climb up in the dark for this bit of dotty fun.

Just as much as I love random acts of fun, I love random acts of kindness too. Princess Diana popularised this idea, which I think she picked up from a group in California. I realised I'd been practising this form of enjoyment when I used to pop some money in expiring meters, when I worked in the city forty years ago. I never knew how the expirees of the meters felt, but I did hear of one who was informed by a grumpy warden about to pounce, that a dark-haired woman had got there first and filled his meter! And I once had the fun of going into an Open-Home, and seeing the absent owner had a collection of pale yellow Aynsley china, with a pink orchid for a handle on each cup and jug, and tea-pot. I had one matching jug at home, unlike any in her collection, so the next time I went into town, I popped it in her letter box. When I heard from someone that the owner was in a wheel chair, it gave me double pleasure.

These I suppose are anonymous acts of kindness – if indeed they can be called kind when they give the initiator such a kick of real well-being. Sometimes, they help to ease the heart-ache we feel when we hear of some-one's plight. The girl who used to serve me at the coffee shop left to have twins. One died at birth, and the other faced years of pain and operations, which the little family with an out- of- work partner couldn't really afford. Since it was Christmas, I left an anonymous envelope at her place of work with some notes in it. It wasn't enough to make much of a difference to them, but it made a difference to me.

I am always awed and thrilled when I read of people who regularly go to some desolate city area to give hot pies, or ham sandwiches or whatever, to the hungry. Not random acts of kindness, but a regular commitment and a planned act of kindness. Like the old lady who used to visit a big city park in Auckland to fill little plastic drinking bowls under various trees and hedges for the hens which used to roam and delight generations of children. And the people who make long journeys every night to feed gatherings of hungry stray cats.

I had a friend who wherever she went took a plastic bag and filled it with litter. She did it when I walked with her on a beach, and she and her husband did it staying at camp sites all over Europe.

These little everyday acts of kindness somehow satisfy the soul as much, or more, than hearing about the wonderful organisations who feed the famine-stricken in Africa and elsewhere. They are little reminders to us that we can all do something in our own backyard, including spreading some laughter and goodwill with a random act of fun. I'm hoping for another silver coin in my water bowl!

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

Needing a quick pudding to please family or friends? Our tried and true standby is simply strawberry yogurt, cream and a handful of fresh berries or tinned fruit. We call it pink pudding.

Whip half a pint of cream until thick, add roughly the same amount of thick yogurt, which can be plain, or flavoured with the fruit you're using. Stir them gently together, and then add the berries, or usually in our case, a drained tin of boysenberries or frozen raspberries, melted and drained. Add sugar to taste, and leave in the fridge till needed. Don't leave too long in case the fruit sinks to the bottom. But it's always delicious however it comes.

It can either be served in one large glass bowl, or spooned into individual glasses or bowls. A shortbread biscuit served with it, lifts it into a grander category of pudding, as do tiny hearts-ease flowers, or violets in the middle of each individual bowl. I've even used a large pink floppy rose in the middle of a big glass bowl of pink pudding. Looks are everything when it comes to food!

An added frill is to melt some marshmallows in some of the fruit juice, and stir in, to make the mix firmer. But I prefer the purity of natural ingredients with no preservatives, additives etc, etc.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

People have to be taken as they are; there are no other ones.

\- Kurt Adenauer. 1876 -1967 West German Premier who led his country from the ruin of WW2, to prosperity and harmonious relations with the West.

OF DUCHESSES AND DOCTORS

It didn't look promising. A book of letters between a duchess and a writer didn't exactly grab me, even though the duchess was one of the famous Mitford sisters, and the writer was also famous Patrick Leigh Fermor.

But a quick dekko inside, and I was hooked. The page that did it was the one where Deborah the duchess, explained how thrilled she was with a book on farming which an eccentric aristocrat farmer had left her in his will. "He asked if I wanted jewels" she wrote, "but I preferred the book."

The book in question had the gripping title: 'The Agricultural Notebook' and was written by a yeoman farmer, with the unlikely name of Primrose McConnell. He lived at North Wycke, Essex, a suitably rural address, and wrote this esoteric tome on farming in 1883. Deborah's copy was the ninth edition, published in 1919 with the inevitable dedication after the devastating Great War, to Captain Primrose McConnell MC, killed at Salonika in 1918.

From this book, she told Leigh Fermor, she learned about the Gunter Chain, Ville's Dominant Ingredients of Manure, the diseases of sheep, the classifications of wheat. Surely she teased, you know all about these things. As an expert farmer, famous for breeding various animals and chickens due for extinction but for her, she did know.

But I had to look them up for myself, discovering that Gunter's Chain was a measurement of length of chain invented by an English clergyman and mathematician in 1620, before the days of theodolites. His measurement became known as a chain and is still used in the US and other parts of the world, and I also learned that a cricket pitch is one chain – twenty two yards. The diseases of sheep from A to Z which included such horrors as agalactia, akabane and atypical scrapie, boils and black disease under the B's, followed by cheesy gland, and ending some dozens of illnesses later with zoonotic disease, made me wonder why anyone would even dare farm such a delicate animal.

And as for the classifications of wheat, which included such terms as glumes, ploidy levels, tetraploid and hexaploid, meiosos and rachis ( the central stalk), by now, I felt overwhelmed with the level of expertise a skilled farmer apparently needs to have at his finger-tips.

It made me think about other experts, and a story in the newspaper today. It was about an eleven year old girl celebrating her birthday after spending all the years since she was three, in the children's' hospital. Coping with leukaemia and aggressive graft-versus-host disease, which I'd never heard of, she's had countless operations and about 500 anaesthetics, and for six years was fed by a tube.

The nurses and doctors who cared for Claudia were all experts in their fields, and obviously gave her their best technical skills. But it was what they did for her which was beyond expertise, and could only be called love which was so moving. When she came round from her anaesthetics after having her wounds dressed, the staff would paint her nails in a surprise colour to gladden her waking up. They would devise dress-up days to distract her from the pain. "They had cat days, fairy days, animal days. One doctor dressed up as a leprechaun", said her mother. "They're crazy, absolutely mad. They were always coming out of the theatre with tiaras and wings on".

The imagination and devotion behind all this dressing up and craziness made me cry. Expertise is one thing, but without love, it ain't anything. Knowing how busy hospitals are, and how stretched doctors and nurses are, with all the demands on their time and energy, to make the effort to add these gifts to their caring for the little girl, is nothing short of heroic to me. They all deserve medals for the utmost gallantry – because this was the front-line for them all. Capt Primrose McConnell's gallantry beyond the course of duty was recognised in war-time. And now we need some medals for gallantry for the wonderful experts in peace-time who go beyond the course of duty. And they did what they did, not because they were experts, but because they loved what they did – like Deborah.

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

This is a family favourite, and it's sausages to die for. Not your chemical, preservative-filled supermarket disasters, but good artisan butchers' pork sausages.

Take as many as you need for each person. I often boil them first to get some of the fat out of them. Saute lots of sliced leeks in butter, and when they're cooked, add a teaspoon of mustard, enough cream to make it a consistency you like, a couple of chicken bouillon cubes, and some nutmeg. Let it all bubble together, and then add the sausages to the mix. Serve with mashed potatoes and green vegetables. You can also add par-boiled sliced potatoes to the pan, and make it a one pan supper. A little brandy poured into the mix also gives it a bit of a kick if the budget runs to a bottle of medicinal brandy!

FOOD FOR THOUGHT:

Alas, I have done nothing this day! What? Have you not lived? It is not only the fundamental but the noblest of your occupations.

\- Michel de Montaigne 1533 -1592 Influential French philosopher, leading Renaissance thinker who pioneered the essay.

FAREWELL TO GEORGE

George has gone. He gave no warning. I had expected to watch him grow from adolescence into a large hairy black male. I suppose like all adolescents he's pushed off to find himself, or maybe to find more spacious quarters.

I had had a window into the tiny cosy home he's left. I had wondered if, when he grew to full size, he would join the other big black spiders I know are living in the hinge of the French doors that I don't often open. When I do there's a panic-stricken rush to safety.

George was different. I'd watched him since he was a tiny baby – one of the ones I'd paid the house-washing firm to dispose of. I left George safely on one side of my bedroom window pane during the debate I had with the house-wash people about payment for their very unsatisfactory job. George was my proof. But when his function had been fulfilled, I still felt connected to him, so left him unmolested in his little nest on the other side of the glass, and watched the gradual expansion both of his size, and of his larder, with various tasty grubs and tiny insects.

I enjoyed greeting him each morning. I don't know what research has been done into the brains of arachnids, but I have had a healthy respect for the intelligence of daddy long legs since I brought a book case up from under the house, and put it on the veranda to paint. I tipped all the baby daddy long legs out at one end of the veranda and took the book case to the other end, and left it while I went to have lunch. The veranda was about thirty feet long, and by the time I returned to get on with the painting, all the baby daddy long legs had found their way down the deck, and returned to their homes in the corners of the book shelves. So these days the long-legged invaders in the bathrooms are treated with respect, caught in a glass, and re-homed out in the garden. My husband watches this routine with disbelief...

But he hasn't read Elisabeth Tova Bailey's exquisite book called 'The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating.' She describes living with a snail that inadvertently entered her sickroom hidden in a wild cyclamen brought in for her from the woods. Among the many extraordinary things that I learned about snails from her, is that depending on the species, a snail's brain has from 5,000 to 100,000 neurons. And amongst other charming things I now know about snails, is that when they lay their miniscule eggs around the garden or wherever, they visit them regularly and keep a maternal eye on them until they hatch into baby snails!

I found that when I put out lettuce leaves at night for the snails to eat in the garden, they left my petunias and other attractive delicacies alone.

Then there is the lizard who found his way inside last week. After a few days I discovered him in the middle of the carpet and nearly killed myself pouncing after him with the glass, finally losing my balance and hitting my head on the table as he escaped with lightning speed. So I left the French doors wide open all night, and I suspect he found the gap and I hope he is now back in the garden. Like the mouse I kept seeing flicking behind the sofa. In despair one night, I crumbled cheese fragments along the carpet and out through the French doors, Hansel and Gretel style. It must have worked, because there was no cheese left the following morning.

Why spend so much time on the tiniest orders of the animal kingdom? Scientists now tell us that our survival as a species is actually dependent on not allowing the larger animals to die out, and an awful lot of them have done so. And yet the smaller creatures, the bees and the worms and other forms of tiny life are just as vital to our survival. But we don't know enough about creation to know what is important to the survival of the planet and what is not. What if ALL forms of life are vital to our survival? In her irresistible book 'Pilgrim at Tinker Creek', American Annie Dillard, writes that: "of all known forms of life, only about ten per cent are still living today".

And we know that ninety percent of the big fish in the oceans are now extinct. So maybe, every spider, every snail, every mouse, matters - well, maybe not mosquitoes.

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

Yesterday I met some friends down by the waterfront to celebrate my birthday. (It isn't due for a while but I like to spin it out). We were all grandmothers but one, and one friend confessed that when her grandchildren asked her to make pancakes, she didn't know how. Is it possible to live without pancakes? A staple of my children and my grandchildren, it was the ideal food to fill up hordes of hungry visiting children too. They started with a baked potato each, the inside mashed with butter and grated cheese, and then the pancakes kept coming till they were full. They 're cheap, delicious and filling.

In a mixing bowl tip 8 ounces of self raising flour, a pinch of salt, two eggs and gradually add half a pint of milk. Beat with a fork until it's mixed, and then use a beater to whip it smooth. Leave this batter to settle in the fridge for a half an hour.

When you're ready, beat the batter again, and it may need a little more milk to make it flow well into the frying pan – trial and error. Sometimes some water instead of all milk makes them lighter and crispy, but only experiment when you've got the hang of them. Fat, shortening, whatever you call it, is the best for pancakes. In a frying pan, heat a knob the size of a walnut, and with a ladle or large spoon pour in enough batter to thinly cover the surface.

Cook till bubbles start to rise and then turn with a slice, and cook the other side till ready to slide out onto a plate (you sometimes have to add more fat to stop it sticking). Sprinkle with brown sugar (white will do, but doesn't have the taste of brown), fold the pancake in three, sprinkle with more sugar, and squeeze quarter of a lemon over it. The tang of the lemon is a must. Eat straight away. Food for the gods.

The first pancake is usually not the best to look at, but still good to eat... it's as though the frying pan settles down with the second pancake. I usually make double the quantity, and I only eat mine when everyone else is full, so I too get the delectable taste of a pancake fresh out of the frying pan. Some people use maple syrup or treacle... but to those of us who have grown up on brown sugar, there's nothing else like it.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT:

It is amazing how much can be accomplished if no one cares who gets the credit.

\- John Wooden 1910 -2010 American basketball player and coach

PARADISES LOST

The spice of life! Synchronicities or benevolent coincidences, as they're sometimes known, have been coming at me fast this week.

It all started with reading the autobiography of an old soldier, General Carton de Wiart VC etc etc, who had one eye and one arm by the end of all his wars, and had been wounded in the face, leg, stomach, ankle, leg, hip and ear on different occasions!

He was supposed to be the model for Evelyn Waugh's Brigadier Hook in 'Sword of Honour', but there was a lot more to him than that. What intrigued me was that having married the daughter of a European prince, who sported eight names, he moved easily around pre-war European aristocracy, ending up living in a hunting lodge in the Pripet Marches between wars, courtesy of his ADC Prince Radziwill.

Then, picking up a book at random to read in bed the next night, I took Patrick Leigh Fermor's anthology of his best bits. I read of his stay with Hungarian aristocrats outside Budapest, and of a way of life now gone, and was fascinated, as I had been by Carton de Wiart's entree to this civilised European way of life. The sons of the houses had all been educated at English Catholic schools, Ampleforth, and Downside.

These Europeans all spoke the same languages, and shared the same culture. Later Leigh Fermor stayed with a Rumanian family in their castles, playing bicycle polo with both the family and the footmen. They were tightly knit communities of families, both peasants, servants and owners' lives all intertwined in what seemed like a centuries old alliance. And these families, too had been educated in England. At this level of society, friendships were international, something which has almost disappeared in the aftermath of World War Two.

Leigh Fermor had famously kidnapped a German general in Crete during the war, and his accomplice, Billy Moss, married a Polish aristocrat, a refugee from the war, living in Cairo. Her Tarnowski family also lived in civilised pre-war European splendour, their homes filled with Titians and Rembrandts, family servants and international guests - the story told in a book called 'The Last Mazurka' - written by the last of the Tarnowski's.

What struck me about all these families stretching across the continent from Poland and the edges of Russia through Hungary down to Rumania, was how the war destroyed this way of life, for both the families and the symbiotic communities they lived in. Centuries of beauty, loyalty, civilisation, all gone. And mostly they disappeared under the hands of the Nazis, and then Communist takeovers. The Rumanians were taken from their castles, the men sent to slave labour, the women to live in garrets far from their homes, as Leigh Fermor discovered when he went back to trace his friends from decades before. Most people were too frightened to talk to him. Much the same happened in Hungary and Poland, while Carton de Wiart's hunting lodge in the Pripet Marshes disappeared in the same destruction.

And now I read from a Facebook friend, about the passing of her family's way of life in East Prussia. In her novel ' Last Daughter of Prussia', Marina Gottlieb Sarles writes of the same centuries- old story of beauty, decency and goodness destroyed by the Second World War – in the maelstrom of hell created by Nazis and Russian Communism. Her story is about the heroic escape of the lucky ones. Those left behind faced the horrors of starvation, un-imaginable tyranny and soul-destroying surveillance, as in Poland, Hungary, Rumania and elsewhere.

Writer Julian Barnes wrote recently that history is "where the imperfections of memory meet the inadequacies of documentation", but that seems to me to be an account of political history. These stories of paradise lost are the real histories – the truths about people and their ways of life - broken by ideologies and decisions of distant demagogues, tyrants, far-away bureaucrats and politicians of the twentieth century.

Books like Marina's, stories like Leigh Fermor's, memories like Carton de Wiart's, tell us more about our past than the official histories. Stories are the spiritual logbooks of mankind, and maybe now, all our blogs are becoming part of that stream of consciousness too...

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

A tin of salmon and some pancakes means a delicious lunch or supper for hungry gourmets. Make the pancakes according to the last recipe – they can be made ahead of time. Open a tin of pink salmon – red if you're feeling rich - and drain off the juice into a cup. Make a fairly thick white sauce – melt an ounce of butter, stir in a heaped tablespoon of flour, slowly add warm milk, or a mix of milk and hot water. (If I do this, I add a bit of cream too.) Let the sauce bubble and cook for a few minutes, stirring all the time, so it doesn't stick or go lumpy.

To the white sauce, add salt and pepper to taste, the juices of the salmon, and lots of chopped parsley. Break up the salmon and add to the white sauce. Spread this mixture down the middle of each pancake, and fold over into three. Lay on a flat dish, sprinkle quite lavishly with grated Parmesan cheese, and gently re-heat in the oven. Serve with a green salad, and some hot buttered rolls, and it feels quite luxurious.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT:

The unexamined life is not worth living.

\- Socrates, Greek philosopher condemned to death in 399 for allegedly corrupting the young. He drank the poison hemlock, and as he breathed his last, asked for a cock to be sacrificed to Asclepius, the god of healing. This was taken to mean Socrates' joy and gratitude at passing over to another world.

A BRAVE NEW WORLD

The bright frosty days have gone. It's midwinter, and the storm is around us, the wind thrashing through the trees, the waves crashing on the rocks below so there are two rolling layers of incessant sound surrounding the house. And it's now four weeks – four weeks since I started blogging, writing, posting, wondering, checking, counting, puzzling and feeling I still don't know how to do it!

The writing's the easy part, the lovely part, the part that makes my heart sing. It's all the rest which is a challenge..

When I began, at my daughter's suggestion and one of her special friends, and thanks to my printer, I had no idea what fun it would be and what a journey it would be too. As a computer illiterate, I hardly knew what a blog was, though I'd heard of them!

Saturday afternoon four weeks ago I sat at one end of the phone, with Peter the printer on the other end. He talked me through, and when we got to writing a post, he told me to put something in the space for a title. I wrote 'Goodbye Cat'. Now write the blog, he said. So I typed in my requiem to my beloved cat, pressed the button, and sent it out to the unknown world!

Since then, I've rushed to the lap-top every morning while the kettle is boiling for my early morning cup of tea in bed. Because we live in the Antipodes, the rest of the world is awake when we're asleep, so there are always good surprises awaiting in the morning. Two readers from Finland, I crow triumphantly to my husband - five from Denmark, someone from Japan, two in Hong Kong, a whole lot from the UK, some from Canada, some from India, someone from the Philippines... this may all sound very small beer to most people, but to a newbie it's magic, and gives me a real thrill every morning.

I see the name Finland, and visualise the snows of winter, the bright woollen clothes people wear, reindeer, and the lakes and islands and birch woods in summer; Japan, and the huge red sun sinking over the horizon at Narita airport, antique silk kimonos, and the miniature origami cranes made from toffee papers by an Air Japan air hostess; they live in a tiny walnut box lined with red velvet.; Hong Kong, and Star Ferry and the junks streaming out to sea for a night's fishing as I watched them from my bedroom window at Repulse Bay; India, and the romantic pink palaces of the maharajas, beautiful women in rainbow-coloured saris, elegant men in jodpurs and bright turbans; Canada, the lakes, the prairies and the hardy people who fled the War of Independence instead of becoming Americans; the US, the flaming autumn woods of New England , the wonder of the Grand Canyon, the long beaches and blue Pacific of the West Coast; and England, grey stone walls and rolling dales, green meadows and cottages nestled into wooded hillsides, hazel, honeysuckle and wild roses in the hedgerows; Denmark, and the grey beautiful architecture of Copenhagen, pretty Crown Princess Mary, and the Little Mermaid in the harbour... It feels as though the world comes into this tiny cottage by the sea every morning, as I read the names of the countries.

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

I started adding on this little foodie thing because I love food, and have so often been hard up, that I've become expert at eating well but cheaply. I hope to give others in the same boat some ideas they may not have thought of!

This recipe follows on from the last, and is about stretching a tin of salmon to feed several people. There are few items in the store cupboard so versatile. This time it's a salmon soufflé which is dead easy to make and looks fabulous. Many people panic at the thought of making a soufflé, but if you can make a white sauce, you can make a soufflé. So once again open the tin of salmon, pink if that's all you've got, red if you feel rich, and drain off the liquid into a cup. Once again make a fairly thick white sauce, and add the salmon liquid, salt and pepper. The only extra ingredient you need for a salmon soufflé is three large eggs.

Separate the yolks from the whites, and taking the pan off the stove, stir the yolks into the white sauce. Then stir in the salmon. Now whip the egg whites till they're stiff, and lightly fold them into the salmon mixture. Pour into a greased souffle dish if you have one, and tie some greaseproof paper round the top so it supports the souffle when it rises. Or use a bigger casserole, and don't worry about it popping over the top. But if you're serving this to guests it does look spectacular to use the greaseproof paper version. Bake in a moderate oven for 35 to 40 minutes and serve at once, before it all sags! Eaten with salad and hot rolls, this will serve three or four people. I also make a parsley sauce to serve with it, and cook some new potatoes and green vegetables instead of salad and rolls. (How to make white sauce is in the previous recipe)

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

From 'The Little Prince', by French aviator, poet and writer, Antoine de Saint-Exupery 1900 - 1944

GUERRILLA GARDENERS

Sitting by the fire on a winter's afternoon, drinking a nice cup of Twining's lapsang souchong, I gaze through the window-pane at the fence beyond.

On it I have nailed a persimmon and an apple. A tui, its deep turquoise plumage framed by the flaming orange fruit, is plunging his long beak into the persimmon with glorious relish. When he flies away, a blackbird drops in, his sooty black feathers and orange beak also beautiful against the bright colour of the persimmon.

Beyond the fence is a designated road. This means that about a hundred and fifty years ago, this village was surveyed, and that bit of land was set aside for a road. But since the surveyors were reputed to have been working from England, they designed the road to plunge straight over the cliff and into the sea. So the road is only a paper road. Since I've been here, I've spent a fortune paying the local handyman to spray the purple morning glory which threatened to engulf house, strangle the trees and smother the garden when we first arrived. The sprawling purple flowers have now been eradicated, and instead, nasturtiums have colonised the space, along with arum lilies and cannas, and swan plants, which are the food of monarch butterflies.

I've planted New Zealand flax bushes, for the tuis to suck the honey from their red flowers in summer, and best of all I've planted an oak tree. One of my grandsons and I grew it from an acorn in another of my gardens. As the years passed, and we moved from house to house, the pot with the oak went with us. Here, there seemed room to plant this spreading tree without fear of blocking anyone else's sun. So now, blocking out the view of a neighbour's house, and all the trampers walking past on the coast to coast track, our acorn has grown to be about twenty feet tall, and is spreading its branches wide in the boundless space of the paper road.

This makes me, I discover, a guerrilla gardener. Not an urban guerrilla gardener, but a rustic guerrilla gardener. I've also taken over the grass berm in front of the house, planted it with curving beds of blue agapanthus and ageratum, pink daisies and lambs lugs, and in spring, sprinkled wild flower seeds which bloom all summer long.

I was thrilled to discover that urban guerrilla gardeners are taking over cities all over the world. In Auckland, they plant lost plots on busy roads and forgotten council sites, and produce vegetables as well as flowers. A group of women in one suburb have approached the residents of streets with wide grass berms, and got their permission to plant fruit trees. The idea of fruit trees laden with seasonal apples and plums and peaches lining suburban streets is delicious - shades of Johnny Appleseed...

I'd always thought he walked the roads tossing apple- seeds along the way, but apparently not, he created orchards on plots of land he bought. From my experience of trying to plant trees along the wayside, he was wise. Mine got broken, nibbled by hungry goats and trampled down when cows were put to graze the long acre – country parlance for the grass banks along country roads.

One of the most inspiring things I've read recently, is that now big business has taken over the country-side, and planted hundreds of acres of one plant, whether in the States, England or elsewhere, thus destroying plant and wild life with this mono-culture, gardeners seem to be saving the planet. It's been discovered that in gardens there are dozens of forgotten species of plant and wild-life, and the more we garden, the more we are doing to save all this diversity, even in cities. We have bee hives now in the centre of Auckland city on the roof of City Hall.

So bees are dodging busy traffic and winging their way to the gardens and parks around the inner city, visiting the potted plants of roof gardens and tiny city balconies. The other side of this is that people are concreting over their front gardens for parking and putting in paving and hard surfaces in the back, while developers are buying up land where gardens once were. So we gardeners, urban, country, or guerrilla are vital for all the plants and tiny creatures who've been driven from their habitats in the country.

The world needs our untidy garden corners where leaves and weeds and rubbish quietly rot for hedgehogs and other creatures. They need a bit of untidiness, and forgotten corners in which to hide and hibernate, bees and butterflies need our flowers, while birds, squirrels and other life forms depend on our trees and hedges and shrubs. So gardeners of the world, unite and pat each other on the back! We are not just self-indulgently creating our own paradise, we are also saving the planet!

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

When you want a treat for children, you can't go past meringues, - quick, cheap and easy. And the best thing is having the yolks for mayonnaise. Even when times are tough, I only buy free range eggs, and the upside of this is that you know you've got good fresh eggs.

So take two eggs, and separate the yolks from the whites. Measure 120g of castor sugar... Whisk the egg whites till they're stiff and form little peaks when you lift the beater out. Gradually whisk in half the sugar, and it'll become wonderfully shiny. Then gently fold in the rest of the sugar with a metal spoon –very lightly, so as not to break up the meringue. Using a dessert or table spoon, ladle the meringue at intervals onto a grease–proof paper lined baking tray, and put in the oven on very low heat - 140 degrees. Leave in the oven for 70 minutes for the bigger size, 40 minutes for a small size. When they feel firm, you can lift one and check the underside is cooked. Leave them in the oven until cold, so they don't go soggy. They will last for ages if stored in an air tight container.

Two egg whites will make about twenty meringues, which you can sandwich together with some whipped cream. Children love them as- is, and they're delicious served with ice-cream and fruit- especially strawberries or raspberries. A bit extravagant maybe, but sometimes children deserve it!

FOOD FOR THOUGHT:

Asceticism is not that you should not own anything, but that nothing should own you.

Ali Ibn Abi Talib 600 -661 AD who was Muhammed's nephew, son-in-law and closest follower, and considered by the Sufis as one of their greatest saints.

MENTAL KNITTING

With the rain lashing down and the wind howling round the house, it's time to blob out by the fire. Some people blob out with TV or a DVD - I blob out with a book. And not just any old book.

Men often relax with crime or detective novels, depending what you want to call them, and science fiction. Time was, when men would devour westerns, but they don't seem to be around these days... and these forms of escapism always seemed respectable. Intelligent men can boast that they read detective novels for relaxation, but women tend to admit somewhat shamefacedly to blobbing out with Mills and Boon – romance seems slightly down-market, while chick-lit seems okay.

I've often thought that Jane Austen was a sort of superior version of Mills and Boon – like the real thing – real roast beef and Yorkshire pudding as opposed to meat-flavoured potato crisps. Jane had plenty of love interest, and concerns about position and status, just like a Mills and Boon paperback, but developed the same themes in beautiful elegant English, unlike Mills and Boon.

But sometimes you don't want roast beef and Yorkshire pudding. I go for the middle ground, not roast beef or potato crisps, but for the literary equivalent of chicken and chips. A lot of men would prefer something heartier than chicken and chips, but as a woman I could eat them forever. Which is how I feel about my favourite reading when I just want to be alive, but not to think.

I 'm taking a long time to get round to owning up what is my favourite Jane Austen lite. Partly because I've spent a life-time concealing it, because as soon as I divulge the name, or people get to see the rows of books on the shelf dedicated to Jane Austen lite, I get superior remarks, patronising jokes and some male derision, as though I'm reading some sort of trash! I was greatly relieved to read a few years ago about a very intelligent woman who used to hide the latest book from our favourite author in the covers of something acceptable - like 'The Great Gatsby', or Shirer's 'The Third Reich'. At least I wasn't the only one with these apparently laughable lowbrow tastes!

I knew exactly how she felt. But I've come out of the closet now I'm old enough and tough enough to put up with people's scorn - based mostly on ignorance, I should say - because anyone who's read these books knows they are full of wit and fun, well written, historically accurate without being boring, and often deal with themes like self esteem, the evils of gambling and racing, the value of good manners and integrity, and best of all, they END. They don't leave me hanging in the air, the story unfinished, and fashionably enigmatic. And even better, the good always triumph over the evil, the dreary, the boring and the unwise!

Years ago, whenever I felt a bout of chronic fatigue syndrome begin to close down on me, I'd stock up with bars of caramello chocolate, and stop at the bookshop where they had a permanent stock of the latest re-prints, even though the author had been dead for some years. Armed with these essentials, I'd drive home and collapse into bed, and read until the fatigue closed my eyes. Nowadays I don't have that excuse for reading these books. Instead I take them when I'm too tired to concentrate on anything else - mental knitting. I know them practically by heart now and have to rotate them .But the wit and the fun remain intact, familiar though they are.

So this is my private pleasure and mental knitting, and Sylvester, and The Grand Sophy, The Devil's Cub and The Reluctant Widow, Frederica and Arabella relax me and send me off to sleep, just as surely as a good brandy or a bout of bad TV does for others.

Georgette Heyer is the hallowed name of my secret vice.

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

In the cold days of the Antipodes winter, I'm thinking comfort food, and what better than the old fashioned and very economical toad-in-the hole. The combination of (good) pork sausages, and batter, baked in the oven, served with well buttered, mashed potatoes and baked beans in tomato sauce, or a good tomato and onion sauce, is homely, tasty, cheap and filling.

You can either have a crisp batter or a soggy batter. I always incline to the soggy sort, but will give both recipes. You need one sausage person.

Soggy batter: four ounces or four rounded tablespoons of flour, good pinch of salt, an egg, and quarter of a pint of milk mixed with quarter of a pint of water. Break the egg into the flour and salt, and gradually add the milk and water. Then beat well. Leave in the fridge for at least half an hour or longer.

Heat two tablespoons of fat (not oil) till smoking in the roasting pan. Take out the batter and give another quick beat. The pour it in the smoking pan, and lay the sausages in it at regular intervals. Bake for an hour in a hot oven at 200degrees. This amount will serve four, and if you want to feed more, just double the amounts. For a crisper batter, simply use all milk, and no water.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Look to this day: For it is life, the very life of life... For yesterday is but a dream and tomorrow is only a vision.

But today well lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well therefore to this day.

\- Sanskrit proverb

ROYAL POWER GAMES

Someone once said that you can see where people are in the family pecking order by watching who ends up doing the washing up!

Family power games can be fun to watch if you're not part of the power struggle and we've had a very public power struggle to enjoy in the last week, in one of the most famous families in the world. It wasn't about washing up of course, but it was definitely about the pecking order.

I mean the Windsor family of course - its main members sometimes known in a popular skit as Brenda and her son Kevin and daughter in law Cheryl- probably better known these days as The Queen, Charles and Diana. The court has just announced a new Order of Precedence – meaning the Queen has decided who will have to defer to whom.

She's decided that Kate Middleton is going to have to courtesy to the "blood princesses", which means the two sisters known as Princess Beatrix and Princess Eugenie, both of them famous for their fantastic headgear at Kate's wedding. Apart from being known as Fergie's daughters, Beatrix has famously lost weight, and Eugenie always looks as though her mother has just run up her dresses on her Singer sewing machine at home. Neither of them can get a job, apparently because no-one wants to employ two unqualified socialites who go everywhere with a burly bodyguard in attendance. A large chap sitting around the office drinking tea, in and out of the loo, cluttering up the photo copier, unable even to read a good book if he's supposed to be on duty, stopping in-house terrorists from bumping off his charge, would be rather in the way in a busy office. So no jobs for princesses.

These two girls are the daughters of Andrew, Duke of York, once known as Randy Andy, but more recently as Air-Miles Andy. He earned notoriety when he had a job promoting British trade. During this career, a number of highly trained mandarins in the Foreign Office put their careers on the line by reporting that amongst other problems, his association with a notorious American sex offender, and his links with Gaddafi's family, and with corrupt regimes like the Kazakstan one were counter-productive. He was also accused of exploiting his travel opportunities. Soon after leaving this job, the Queen gave him one of her personal medals signifying her approval of her favourite son, and presumably her displeasure for those who had ousted him in the name of duty and patriotism. So no medals for mandarins.

Love is blind. So in this family struggle in which the Duke is reportedly also trying to wangle royal jobs for his daughters - which Prince Charles is said to be resisting- the Queen has obviously given in to Andrew's pressure to have his daughters placed above Kate in the Royal pecking order, hence the new curtseying regime. The logic behind this is that the sisters have the blood royal, and Kate doesn't. Certainly Beatrix is the spitting image of her great- great- great- great- grandmother Victoria. Take away her red Fergie hair, and give her black hair coiled in a bun at the nape of the neck, and she would like exactly like the young Victoria in the beautiful Winterhalter portraits with her husband Albert, and some of her eight children. Beatrix has the same protuberant eyes, sharp little nose and rosebud mouth. She's also named after Victoria's youngest daughter, who married a Battenberg, the same family as Prince Philip. But do these connections make her any more worthy of respect than beautiful, dutiful, middle-class Kate?

Prince Andrew's wife Fergie and non-royal mother of the girls was called vulgar by royal courtiers at the time of their marriage, by which they probably also meant that she was tasteless. Fergie's bad taste included various toe-sucking lovers, a cringe-making session on the Oprah Winfrey show having public psycho-therapy, and an attempt to get money using Royal connections. A former principal of Goldsmith's College in London (co-incidentally the princesses' university) Caroline Graveson, a Quaker, once wrote that if the church had paid as much attention to aesthetics as to virtue, we would probably feel as strongly about bad taste as about sin...

I think she's right, bad taste is actually a lack of discrimination, which was one of the virtues of the ancient Christian Desert Fathers. So this week's public power struggle in which Mummy's favourite (but rather shady) son has come out on top, dragging his daughters with him, is not just power play and egotism, but a triumph of dubious values over virtue. Kate Middleton can be seen to be virtuous, even paying for her own clothes, unlike the late Queen Mother, for example. She practises middle class thrift, buying clothes from chain stores as well as couturiers, and dresses with understated elegance instead of being extravagantly fashionable. It's her husband who drives a freebie, like the two princesses, who were all given a Chelsea tractor each (large gas-guzzling four wheel drives) by the makers.

If only we were flies on the wall, we would be able to see how cleverly Kate is able to circumvent this attempt to put her down... only entering rooms with her husband, so then she doesn't have to curtsey, telling the girls with a laugh at the Sandringham breakfast table, that they can take the word for the deed? Not doing it, and waiting to see if they report her to Granny?

Games people play! ... especially in families, even when they don't have to wash-up!

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

Winter food is comforting, often stodgy, and frequently fattening. This recipe is all of those things and delicious too, and I crave it in cold wintry weather. It's a simple apple crumble, but not your dry crumby institution version, but a rich luxurious version, in spite of being an economical pudding using apples in season.

You need at least six cooking apples, but sweet ones will do if you have none. Take eight ounces of flour (I use self raising for everything), and six ounces of butter. Rub them together like coarse breadcrumbs, and then stir in six ounces of brown sugar (white will do if you have none). If you like, add some grated lemon peel. This mix will keep for three or four days in the fridge if you want to make it in advance, and I've also made extra and put it in the deep freeze and brought it out when I wanted.

When you want to eat it, boil the peeled chopped apples with sugar or stevia to taste, and when soft pour into an oven- proof dish and cover with the crumble. Cook for 40 minutes in a hot oven. Sometimes I add a cup and a half of mincemeat to the apple, to make a Christmassy tasting pudding and even add a tablespoon of brandy. Sometimes I add a few ounces of ground almonds to the crumble to make it extra rich, when I'm feeling rich. It's just as good with a tin of plums if you haven't got apples, and sublime with stewed rhubarb, or apple and blackberry. Serve it hot with cream, custard, or crème fraiche if you feel like pushing the boat out. You can re-heat it.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

We will be held accountable for all the permitted pleasures we failed to enjoy.

Reputedly from the Hebrew Haggada

LADIES WHO LUNCH MERRILY

This is A Winter's Tale, and our escape day – from domestic blindness – not ours – from domestic chores – ours - and a chance for another belated birthday lunch (I said before that I spun it out!).

Off we drove to the winery, all flossied up with our little morale-boosters, pearls and rings and scarves and high-heeled boots naturally. We thought we'd missed the turn down a long, winding, muddy, country road, so I did a difficult u-turn and drove back to the main road. We searched for another turning, but finally admitted defeat and turned back to the first muddy road. Three minutes away said the signpost, so I took the second drive, since the first had barred gates. Half a mile from the road, the narrow track ended at a farm gate. Not the winery. I did a three point turn, but alas, the green grass hid a deep muddy ditch.

After grinding deep into the mud, I stripped off my coat, dragged some cardboard and a rug for good measure out of the boot, and tried to spread them in the mud behind the wheels. I'll push, said my 75 year old Friend. Nothing worked. This felt like a midwinter's nightmare. Neither of us had a cell phone, or could work one anyway. So I tottered down the muddy lane in my high-heeled black leather boots, but there was no tractor, car or person in the vista stretching to a far horizon of olive trees and grape vines, green hills and a few cattle. Finally, I saw a distant car turn into a drive, and called in a ridiculously faint voice, "excuse me," which cut no ice across the distance. Finally puffing up to the house, I caught the woman as she carried her shopping inside. She wasn't interested in the slings and arrows of our outrageous fortune, but said when she'd got her frozen stuff into the deep freeze, she'd let me use her phone.

Ringing the winery, I blackmailed the maitre de shamelessly, saying unless they were able to send a tractor to rescue us, we wouldn't be turning up for lunch. After a long interval while she searched for someone with a tractor, the chef (who else?) arrived in his four wheel drive. Nice young man, very over-weight, with jeans about fifteen sizes too small, and his builder's crack positively worrying as he wrestled with a piece of cord between his car and mine. After watching him try fruitlessly to tie a knot that would hold (he was after all, a chef, not a mechanic) I turned away for the sake of my blood pressure, and comforted myself that there was always the AA. As I turned I caught Friend's eye, the other side of the car, and we both hastily stifled our giggles. After a few more minutes of the increasingly catastrophic builder's crack and knots that kept unravelling, we were both nearly hysterical with suppressed laughter.

Finally the chef instructed me to sit in the car and put it in neutral. Naturally this didn't work. Again, my thoughts winged to the AA. Then another car arrived. The woman gardener from the winery. She had the thing sussed in no time. Wearing boots and workman-like trou, she strode into the breach and through the mud, told me to put the car in reverse and rev, while the chef backed his car. The gardener stood in front and lifted the front bumper, mud flew everywhere, and suddenly I was free.

After this comedy of errors, our chef dashed off back to the winery, some miles away, to get back to cooking for the waiting guests, while we followed the gardener in good time, and were escorted into the dining room with much courtesy. Phew.

Lunch was obviously going to be some time, by the time the chef had washed his hands and steadied his nerves, so we comforted our shattered ones with a nice glass of rose. By the time lunch arrived we needed another one, which was one more than our usual allowance. The pudding course was not as we like it, so we had affogato, Friend with cointreau, me with Bailey's. By now, our liquor quota was about two and a half weeks overdrawn, but our spirits were soothed and mellow.

When we went to pay, the restaurant now empty, we explained to the maitre de who had answered our SOS that neither of our sick and elderly husbands was in a fit state to come to our rescue. This was like a red rag to a bull. "My father is such a burden to my mum, I think he should be pushed over the cliff," she said fiercely. "He recovered from an operation with all the drugs and now sits around talking of nothing but himself. " She didn't seem to realise that she was talking about to be or not to be.

We got ourselves away after I told her that when it was my time, and age had withered me, I intended to grow a garden full of hemlock, and make myself a nice strong cup of hemlock tea, going quietly to sleep like Socrates. She thought this was a good idea. And in spite of all the excitement and the excess, the merry wives from the winery still managed to drive home in a straight line.

So after much ado about nothing, all's well that ends well, with apologies to Shakespeare.

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

A storm has raged, wind and rain lashing the windows – more comfort food is needed. Today it's thick lentil soup. All you need is two cups of red lentils, two onions, three or four large carrots and some chicken stock or bouillon cubes. It's a nourishing protein- rich meal in itself. And cheap as.

I simply fry the onions gently in a little butter till soft, grate the carrots into them and fry for a minute. Add the lentils, which have been well washed, and four cups of stock or hot water and bouillon cubes to taste. Simmer gently until soft, and then whizz to a smooth consistency in the liquidiser. In the old days we would push it through a sieve to get this lovely smooth consistency. Taste for salt. You can add more or less stock, depending how thick you want it.

You can flossie it up with a bacon bone, or a few chopped rashers of bacon, you can add garlic, bay leaves and a dash of curry powder. But I love the sweet simplicity of this recipe with the sweetness of the carrots off-setting the earthiness of the lentils. Serve with salt and pepper, and lots of chopped parsley on top, and with a hot roll and butter you have a filling meal. If you have plenty left over, you'll find it thickens up over-night, and you might want to dilute it slightly with more stock

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FOOD FOR THOUGHT:

Truth has as many skins as an onion.

\- Old French Proverb.

YOUNG MEN WALKING TO THEIR DEATH

On this day ninety six years ago, my step-grandfather stepped out with thousands of other young men on the first day of the Battle of the Somme, probably the worst day in the history of warfare.

He came from Northumberland, and the four Northumberland regiments were the first to walk into battle at seven thirty am on a blue sunny morning with the birds singing. The four Geordie regiments stepped steadily towards the German lines which were supposed to have been bombarded into nothing, the barbed wire cut by the bombardment also.

Instead, for a moment, they walked steadily into the sudden silence, and then the German machine guns began to fire. The guns simply swept the battle field, as their targets continued walking steadily towards them, and line after line of brave young men fell. These regiments belonged to what was known as the New Army, bodies of men who had joined up from their towns, villages and workplaces, calling themselves names like the Grimsby Chums, and the Manchester Pals. They had set off that morning believing that this battle would end the war.

Percy, my step-grandfather, didn't become one of the 60,000 dead British soldiers killed on that one day, but just one of over 30,000 wounded. He was a young officer, and like them all, easily distinguishable to the German machine-gunners. Officers went into battle wearing their service dress, collar and tie, shining leather Sam Browne belts, and carrying a pistol, not a rifle. By the end of the day, 75 per cent of officers had been killed, compared with fifty per cent of men. The three colonels of the four Geordie regiments were dead, the fourth badly wounded.

Percy was shot in the face that day. Later at Passchendale, and transferred to a machine gun regiment his post took a direct hit. He was found four days later, still alive - just - and he grabbed a helmet lying on the ground to drink from it and quench his terrible thirst. The helmet was full of chemicals and poisons from the battlefield, and Percy ruined his insides, which never fully recovered.

However, he was fit enough to fight and return to the battlefields, and unlike so many of the men who endured the hell of the First World War, he survived to see the peace.

The day that 60,000 brave young men died on the Somme was the worst day of that terrible war. Waterloo was accounted a bloody battle, but Wellington lost only 25 per cent of his army, 8458 men. El Alamein, an eleven day battle, cost 1,125 men a day, while on D-Day the British and Canadian casualties cost 4000 men.

So my grandmother, living in a North country village had seen all the young men march proudly through the streets on their way to fight for their country, trumpets blowing, banners flying, girls throwing flowers. Now all the houses had their blinds down, mourning their sons and husbands, brothers and fiancées, friends and neighbours. It wasn't the same back in Germany. The Germans had not been slaughtered. For every seven British soldiers killed, they had lost one, from a much bigger population.

Paddy Kennedy, a soldier with the Manchester Pals, another regiment which was destroyed that day, helped to take a German post at Montauban. In the German trenches he found a small black frightened kitten, the pet of a dead soldier. Feeling sorry for it, he fastened it inside his pack, and took it with him. During lulls in the fighting he took it out and played with it. A few days later, he gave it to the company cooks as a mascot, and got on with his job. The following year, the kitten, now known as Nigger, went back to England hidden in a soldier's battledress. The young man took it home on leave to his family in Rochdale, and left it with them. He was killed at Passchendale shortly afterwards. But Paddy Kennedy, who'd gone back to Manchester after the war, had not forgotten the cat. Throughout the twenties he went to visit Nigger at Rochdale.

This reminded me of the Dogs Cage on the beach at Dover. As the soldiers arrived back from Dunkirk in 1940, hungry, wounded, shattered, they brought with them dogs and puppies which they'd rescued from the deserted, burning town of Dunkirk. Since rabies could not be allowed to invade the British Isles, the commanding officer at Dover, organised for the dogs to be labelled, and their addresses recorded, and placed in the Dogs Cage. Later, after six months in quarantine, these French dogs were delivered to their rescuer's homes around the British Isles. I suppose that by then they knew what 'sit,' and 'stay' were in English...

These loving actions by soldiers in the midst of fighting, somehow ease the heart when one reads the horror of those battles. So when I think of Percy and all those other wonderful young men, whose deaths wring the heart - "theirs not to wonder why, theirs but to do and die", I think of their kindness and courage and decency.

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

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Like the soldiers of most recent wars, when my military husband and I were down to the bare boards at the end of every month, (since we had married too young and didn't get any allowances) we opened a tin of bully beef . If you're really up against it and hungry too, this recipe is good value.

Fry a few onions in a little oil and butter. When soft, add some curry powder to taste, just enough to give some flavour, and fry a little more. Then add the chopped- up tin of bully beef, a few tomatoes if you have them, and a squeeze of tomato sauce, Worcestershire sauce, pepper – salt if it needs it, or any spices you think would taste good. Stir-fry this altogether. Sometimes I might add a tin of baked beans to the mix. If it's dry, add some water and a chicken bouillon cube. Serve hot with plenty of creamy mashed potatoes and some green vegetables. Not an elegant dish, but tasty and filling!

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Lord, Thou knowest how busy I must be this day. If I forget Thee, do not Thou forget me.

The prayer of Cavalier Sir Jacob Astley 1639 -1729 before the Battle of Edgehill in 1642

LOVE OF A LION

If I ever need a lift to the spirit, I check out Christian the Lion on YouTube.

His true story is all there on film, a story that many people reading this may already know. It was back in the sixties, when Christian was bought from Harrods by a couple of young Aussies enjoying the swinging London scene. These were the days when the late John Aspinall walked around town with a tiger on a lead, and girls had snakes coiled rounds their necks instead of scarves. Nowadays I think people realise how unfair this is to animals, and it probably wouldn't go unchecked.

However, the owners of Christian did their best for the beautiful lion cub, giving him lots of exercise in a walled churchyard in Chelsea, courtesy of a friendly vicar, giving him the run of their home and their furniture warehouse, feeding him with all the food and vitamins a lion cub could want! He played ball, turned out chests of drawers, and generally behaved like a kitten, an ingenuous, irresistible, cuddly kitten. He went out to dinner in Chelsea restaurants with them, and travelled in the back seat of their open sports car looking at the people passing on the pavements.

As he grew older his owners realised that life for a full-grown lion in the streets of Chelsea was not going to work. So they explored places they could take him to where he'd be happy. They couldn't find anywhere in England. Anyone who loves animals wouldn't want a beloved pet to end up in a zoo.

In one of those blessed synchronicities, a chap wanted a desk and went to buy one at the furniture warehouse, where he was ambushed by a playful lion cub springing out from behind a chest! The chap was Bill Travers, who with his wife Virginia McKenna was devoted to lions, and had run a charity for them ever since they'd made the film' Born Free' about Elsa the Lioness.

He understood Christian's dilemma, and contacted George Adamson at his Kora lion reserve in Kenya, to ask if they could bring Christian to his place, and set him free. Not an easy goal, to acclimatise a domestic pet to the wild, but finally Adamson agreed. There are wonderful photos of Christian going off in a Bedford van to stay in the country with the Travers and McKenna, and learning to be an animal outside instead of living in a flat. The young men who loved and owned him, built him an enclosure and a hut, and spent hours sitting with him every day. They left a note on the door of their London flat: "Christian is on holiday in the country".

To watch the film of each one entering Christian's enclosure and to see the young lion leaping up into their arms, putting his arms round their necks, is to see absolute love. Finally, in a special cage, Christian flew to Africa, accompanied by his doting owners. They were met by Adamson, who was astounded that Christian sat quietly in the back seat of the land-rover, and got out at regular intervals to relieve himself, and then obediently climbed back in.

The scenes of Christian getting to know other lions, and learning to submit to the king of the jungle were harrowing for his owners and we who watch. Eventually, it was felt he was ready to start his new life, and the chaps went back to London.

A year later, they flew back to visit him, hoping they'd be able to find him. The film of Christian, now a large full grown lion, pacing slowly down the hill, then seeing his old friends, quickening his pace, and then running full pelt, making lion weeping sounds is heart-stopping. Then he reaches them and springs at the first man, and puts his huge legs and paws around his neck, and hugs him passionately. He does the same to his other owner, and keeps going back and forth between them, beside himself with joy. He is now so big and heavy that they can hardly stay on their feet, and stagger back. It makes me cry each time I watch it. Then we see on the film, a lioness gently sniffing the two men - Christian's wife, a completely wild lioness, who seeing her mate connecting with these men, does the same herself.

They go back again a few years later, and this time Christian is a magnificent huge maned lion king, who greets them with great dignity and leads them to his cave up in the hills, and the men sit there all day communing with Christian and his lioness wife and his cubs.

They never saw him again. As people encroached on the land, Christian took his family far away from the presence of men. He was now completely wild, his early beginnings in a miserable zoo, and his cage in Harrods not even a memory. But he took with him into the wild a huge capacity to love, which could be seen in his nuzzling of his wife and cubs. Is this the legacy he has handed down to his progeny?

No-one had ever seen such a huge lion before – testament to the fine food and good diet his owners had given him as a cub. And no-one has ever seen such love between a lion and a man before. The tragedy of it all is that if one lion can develop that capacity to love, so can all lions, and probably all creatures. Worse still, in South Africa they are now breeding lions in enclosures, where people can shoot them for fun, and they are also being sold for medicines to Asian countries.

The hope of the story of Christian is that he shows us that the capacity to love, to be faithful, to feel all the emotions that we claim for human beings, is also inbuilt in all living creatures. We see it in the videos of dogs rescuing other dogs, of the stories of animals rescuing and protecting human beings, even of a rat leading another blind rat with straw in each of their mouths. Scientists have just discovered the God/Higgs Particle, but I wonder if we will all discover that love matters as much or more than the Higgs Particle. Apparently after this scientific break-through we now Know more about the universe, but does this make us Feel more loving towards our own planet and all beings on it?

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

This is dinner party fodder, for when you need a fancy pudding in a hurry. Lemon cream is the answer. All you need is the same amount of plain yogurt as of thick cream, and the same amount of lemon curd, or lemon butter as it's sometimes called. Whip the cream until stiff, stir in the yogurt and then the lemon curd, and pour into small glass or parfait dishes. It's particularly good with some grated orange peel sprinkled on the top. Chill in the fridge, and serve with a shortbread or other crisp biscuit. Looks are everything, so I usually put a tiny hearts-ease or daisy blossom in the middle of each dish.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

When we do dote upon the perfections and beauties of some one creature, we do not love that too much, but other things too little. Never was anything in this world loved too much, but many things have been loved in a false way; and all in too short a measure.

Thomas Traherne, 1636 -1674 metaphysical poet and mystic who died at 38. Born the son of a shoemaker, went to a Cathedral school and Oxford, and became an Anglican divine.

DEDICATED FOLLOWERS OF FASHION

One of the things I missed when Princess Diana died, was that all the fun seemed to go out of fashion. Suddenly there was a vacuum, which wasn't really filled by the celebrities who dressed to get attention, rather than doing a job and enjoying fashion at the same time. Royalty doesn't have to dress to get attention..

But now we have another beautifully dressed woman to enjoy. Diana's daughter- in- law, her son's new wife. And Kate Middleton has assumed Diana's crown with elegant ease. For the last year, frivolous empty- headed women like me who enjoy looking at exquisitely dressed, beautiful women, have had a feast for our eyes. The Queen's Jubilee has actually been a banquet, because the Queen herself has looked a picture in the most wonderfully coloured clothes designed for the most part, by her dresser, Angela Kelly. Angela Kelly is a fashion story in herself, having been a housekeeper at the British Embassy in Germany. After she was introduced to the Queen on an official visit, when a gap occurred later, the Queen invited the housekeeper to become her dresser. An amazing relationship has flowered between them, there is always laughter when the two are together, and Angela, rescued from organising embassy dinners and counting other people's tea-spoons, took to fashion in the manner born. She has now started her own design house, with the Queen as a walking advertisement for her taste and flair.

The once infamous Camilla, second wife of Prince Charles, has also blossomed this year, appearing in a succession of wonderfully over- the- top hats, and elegant unfussy clothes. Even notoriously under-dressed Princess Anne has taken the trouble to appear in some delicious pale pinks and eau de nil, and has even worn some pretty hats during this time of national rejoicing for the Queen's 60 years on her throne. The Royal women have looked like a bunch of pretty spring flowers, with their petalled hats, soft clear colours, and pale shoes at the various events where they've clustered together.

But Kate takes the biscuit. With her long dark hair and long slim legs, killer heels and cheeky hats, she always looks ravishing in the understated little dresses, coats and suits she chooses. Some of them are couture, some of them are cheap as chips. But it doesn't matter who makes them, she always looks wonderful. It cheers up the morning when I Google UK newspapers and see Kate once again beaming across the front page, dimples flashing, slim, leggy, gorgeous.

It also cheers me up to know what she achieves in the way of style – not exactly on a shoe string, but shopping wisely and well. I do the same myself! There's not a factory sale or a charity /opportunity shop I don't know the inside of in various parts of the world. A real silk cream shirt in a Plymouth op-shop has taken me to various weddings and dinners, teamed with black velvet trousers bought in a factory sale, and black shoes from the local Chinese import store. So cheap and comfortable I bought three pairs, which cost less than one good pair of shoes, and which lasted for three years - I was bereft when I had to ditch the last pair this year. However, I was able to replace them with a black patent pair found in a half- price, end- of -season sale.

So Kate and I have a lot in common! I used to think that thinking about clothes was the mark of empty-headed frivolity, but when I was 17, I had the good fortune to live with my step-grandmother for six months, and she lent me her favourite book. It was Vera Brittain's ' Testament of Youth', and I cried all the way through. It was about her fiancée and friends killed in World War One, and I felt I understood my grandmother much better after reading it. But the bliss of it was that Vera, a solemn, somewhat humourless early feminist, described her clothes in detail – I still remember the terra-cotta coloured hat and dove-coloured outfit she described wearing, when she went to meet the boat-train and the man she ended up marrying. It was a Eureka moment. I realised it was okay to love clothes and still think intelligently. Thank you, Vera.

So I continue to drool over Kate and her clothes. Today it was Kate and her sister, the famous bridesmaid, whose elegant derriere practically caused strong men to weep all over the world, and together at Wimbledon they were an unbeatable combination. In the eighteenth century two similarly beautiful sisters, also from an ordinary background, took London by storm with their beauty. Crowds gathered wherever they went, and they needed bodyguards. The elder, Elizabeth Gunning, married one duke, and when he died, married another. Her sister Maria married an earl and died young. Probably from lead poisoning from the makeup she loved to wear.

The Middleton sisters remind me of this glamorous pair, and when Kate and Pippa sat in the Royal box at Wimbledon, the one in white, the other in a pretty blue and white flowered dress in a somewhat eighteenth century style, they looked as captivating as the legendary sisters. Beauty and fashion are still a fascinating phenomenon and still draw crowds.

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

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The cold weather and the longing for comfort food goes on. Soup warms us up, but sometimes it's not a meal in itself, and that's when a pudding comes in handy. Good old rice pudding is one of those standards that's always welcome in this house, but it must be made properly, with the rice really creamy, and a good nutmeg topping to it.

You need two ounces of short grain or pudding rice, and a pint of boiling milk. Grease a pie-dish, and pour the boiling milk on the rice in the dish. Add two to three ounces of sugar, and dot the top with butter. Sprinkle with nutmeg. Cook for an hour to an hour and a half in a slow oven, until the rice is soft and creamy. This can be eaten on its own, or with a spoonful of raspberry jam as we did during the war, or with some stewed fruit.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

In the overabundance of certain things I find vulgarity. Thus I object to an overcrowding of furniture in the sitting room, to a whole bunch of writing brushes beside the ink-slab, too many images of Buddha in the chapel, too great a profusion of stones, trees, grass in a garden... Things that I feel can never be overdone are books in book receptacles and rubbish on the rubbish heap.

Yoshida Kenko, 13th century Japanese hermit monk, a soldier before retiring to his hermit hut.

PASSION IN PROVENCE

Just back from seeing The Well-Digger's Daughter for the second time, but not for the last time!

I see it's called an art house film... so a film that has no violence or sex pictured in it, seems to be an art house film apparently. Good for art. So I didn't feel like a voyeur having to watch heaving bottoms, and listen to other people's orgasms, and I didn't have to feel like an accomplice watching fighting, stabbings, shooting, and mayhem.

Instead I watched a story of life and death, love and birth, human pain and human greatness. It was set in the magic countryside of Provence, harsh, rocky, grey mountain ridges giving way to long stretches of olive groves, long avenues of ancient poplars, clear pebbly streams with dappled water beneath branching pale green trees and empty, dusty white roads. The well-digger's farm house was the dream of most westerners, a weathered stone house with faded green shutters at each window, stone sinks and arched door-ways inside, pottery jugs, and big old- fashioned soup plates for the cassoulet for dinner. Old barns, a stone parapeted well, and views over empty country-side completed the dream. Long shadows lay across green meadows, and grasses swayed in the evening breezes.

It was that time before telephones, so children ran errands, and felt useful, people wrote letters which were kept and treasured, instead of e-mails quickly deleted, everyone walked for miles for lack of public transport and was fit and healthy, while children got enough sleep every night without TV or computer games to keep them awake. It was that time before sprays and pesticides, wind farms and traffic fumes, tourists and agribusiness had changed the old ways, the old beauties, the centuries-old peace. The music – some of it from old twenties and thirties recordings, pulled at the heart strings the way those wistful plangent sounds of old records always do. And the clothes! Old fashioned thirties summer dresses, elegant coats and hats and shoes. A green crocodile pochette that matched a shapely green coat... a clotted cream coloured cardigan edged with wine dark ribbon, matching the thin maroon stripe in the girl's cream dress... the scalloped collar on a simple black dress, embroidered round the edge of the scallops in dull red and green.

But these were the delicious details. The people were the story -the well digger- implacable and generous, warm hearted and narrow minded, honest and angry all at the same time; the other father, weary, hen-pecked, dignified and distant; the possessive, petulant mother, the spoiled only son, the well-digger's troubled, tragic daughter. The emotions of lust, anger and unrequited love, shame, and guilt, grief and joy, swirled round these people as the Second World War broke out. And the birth of an unwanted baby brought together all these warring people and humbled their pride, softened their grief, opened their hearts, melted their anger, dissolved their arrogance and dispelled their petulance.

There were some lovely lines. The rejected lover, prepared to marry the girl he loved, who was carrying another man's child, is told by her angry, bitter father: "Felipe, you have no honour", to which Felipe replies, "I have no honour, but I have plenty of love". (How much pain and grief men's honour has brought to women, and still does, as we read of so-called honour killings, and women strangled, stoned and even shot by machine gun, so as not to diminish this strange concept of murderous egotism, false pride, and cruelty wrongly named honour.)

When the possessive grandfather tries to claim authority over the baby, his new son-in law says, "he doesn't belong to you, you belong to him." And the other grandfather replies, "that's right, the old can only serve the young", like all grandparents, putty in the hands of their grandchild.

No doubt everyone who sees this film will understand it differently, depending on their age. But as a grandparent, it reminded me of the days when my grandchildren were small, and I discovered for the first time the bliss of giving unconditional love. The sort of love which accepts the loved one as a perfect and beautiful soul, knowing that all the foibles and problems that parents see, don't really exist; the sort of love that knows with perfect certainty that their grand-children will grow up to be strong and good even if they don't eat all their vegetables!

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

Padding is what families need in cold weather, and these two puddings fill the bill. They are plain puddings, but also delicious, and old-fashioned puddings are becoming fashionable again. They both need sultanas, washed and then soaked in boiling water to plump them up and make them juicy.

The first, batter pudding, needs the same ingredients as Yorkshire pudding, eight ounces of self raising flour, two eggs, and enough milk and a little water to mix to a pouring batter, plus a pinch of salt. Beat the eggs into the flour and salt, and add the liquid gradually. Leave in the fridge for half an hour. Heat a baking pan with a knob of fat until smoking, and pour in the batter, which you've just beaten again. Add the drained sultanas, and bake in a hot oven for an hour, or until risen and cooked. Serve immediately with knobs of butter and brown sugar sprinkled over. A hot and homely pudding.

Bread and butter pudding is the same. You need six slices of good bread – not white supermarket pap. Slice them, butter them and cut them into squares or triangles. Arrange them in a two pint pie dish. Sprinkle over the drained sultanas, and then beat three eggs with three to four ounces of sugar. Add a point and a half of milk, and pour it over the bread. The pie dish should only be half full. Leave to soak for at least half an hour, before baking in a moderate oven (about 350degrees) for about an hour, or until the custard is set. Eat hot.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Some day, after we have mastered the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity we shall harness the energies of love. Then, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.

Pierre Tielhard de Chardin, 1881 – 1955. Jesuit, philosopher, eminent palaeontologist and mystic, who was banned from teaching, preaching and writing by the Catholic church, his books denied publication, and his most important book, 'The Phenomenon of Man' only published after his death. He is still persona non grata with the church fifty three years after his death.

BEDAZZLED BY THEIR JEWELS

So the French want the Queen to give them her crown jewels as compensation for killing the last Plantagenet in 1499. Well I can understand that. Those jewels are more than something - especially the tiaras. Oh, for a tiara - some people are born to wear them, and some are not.

The nearest I've got to it was on Prince William and Kate Middleton's wedding day. I was in a sewing shop looking for buttons that morning, and just by the door was a stand draped with fairy clothes, wands and jewels for children's parties. I seized the amethyst and diamond tiara, knowing I would need it that evening.

I wore it with a purple top and all my pearls and amethysts. Mostly faux, just the odd decent pearl winking under the load of beads and baubles. I looked like the late Queen Mary actually - laden with jewels - and as the evening wore on, and the champagne flowed while we watched the Wedding, I wondered how Queen Mary had managed all those years, with her bosom bedizened with strings of diamonds, ropes of pearls and layers of diamond brooches. My strings and strings of beads and brooches, earrings and bracelets were all fake, and therefore comparatively light. But as time went by, I wilted under the weight of wearing all this stuff. Queen Mary's glittering jewels were the real thing – two large chips off the fabulous Cullinan diamond for starters - the biggest stone ever found - frequently adorned her bosom. They are known as Grannie's chips to the present Queen, who wears them quite often. Then there were those lustrous pearls, giant rubies, heaps of emeralds, gorgeous sapphires...

Queen Mary, who married Queen Victoria's grandson, George, who became the Fifth, did rather well in the jewellery line. Queen Victoria had lost most of her family jewels in a family wrangle which went to court, and the judges – English - found against her, and let the King of Hanover keep all the crown jewels. This left only a string of pearls which had once belonged to Queen Anne, who died in 1714, and another string which had belonged to Queen Caroline, wife of George 11. Queen Victoria later amassed plenty of jewels in her sixty year reign, not because she was particularly impressed by jewellery, but as symbols of the royal status. But Queen Mary, who'd always been an impecunious princess, adored jewels, and was showered with diamonds when she became engaged to the heir, including the diamond tiara the Queen often wears, known as Grannie's tiara, and given by the Girls of Great Britain and Ireland.

Then there were the diamond brooches from the inhabitants of Kensington, another tiara from the county of Surrey, a large diamond bow from the county of Dorset, a diamond and ruby bracelet from the County of Cornwall, and this incomplete list doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of the collection of treasure she received, including precious gifts from all the royal families of Europe (they were all family anyway). Queen Mary was famous for her acquisitiveness, and managed to snaffle many fabulous jewels, tiaras and bracelets from the desperate Russian Royals when they had escaped the Revolution, and needed money in the thirties.

Her mother in law, Queen Alexandra, had also done rather well, receiving hoards of priceless tribute from the Indian princes at various durbars - ropes of pearls, ruby and diamond chokers, an emerald girdle, to mention only a few of these princely gifts . By the time the present Queen inherited all these generations of jewellery, she had a choice of over a dozen tiaras, diamond necklaces for Africa ( and many were African gifts and from African diamond mines) not to mention ruby, emerald, amethyst and sapphire tiaras, with their matching earrings, necklaces and bracelets. They all have names, like the Russian fringe tiara, the Brazilian aquamarine, the Greek key, the Vladimir circle tiara.

But the favourite jewels in every generation of Royals seem to have been the ones with historic or sentimental value, like Albert's brooch, the Prince Consort's wedding gift to his bride Victoria. A huge sapphire ringed with diamonds, all the succeeding queens have worn it regularly, and Albert had a copy made for his eldest daughter, which Princess Anne now owns. The historic Crown pearls, rescued from the Hanoverian raid, were worn by the Queen on her wedding day, and she still often wears them. The Cambridge emeralds, large cabochon emeralds set with diamonds inherited from Queen Mary's family, were given to Diana, who wore them as a head-band on a trip to Australia- dancing at a ball in a matching green dress.

Diana also wore the bow knot tiara, another of Queen Mary's family heirlooms. But Kate, as yet, has only been seen in a very modest, and entirely appropriate diamond tiara lent to her by the Queen on her wedding day. Meanwhile Camilla, Prince Charles' second wife, flashes the dazzling jewels owned by the Queen Mother who left them to Prince Charles. The Queen Mother wore them with some restraint, but Camilla wears as much as possible at the same time! Sporting the huge modern diamond tiara, she adds a necklace of five rows of enormous diamonds, even managing to make the Queen's jewellery look less impressive if big is what you like!

The history of all these jewels is recorded, and this is what makes jewellery so fascinating to me, that all the great pieces have a history behind them. Elizabeth Taylor possessed a famous necklace known as La Peregrina, dating from the sixteenth century, when Philip 11 of Spain gave this huge symmetrically perfect pearl to Mary Tudor (Bloody Mary) of England on their marriage in 1554. When she died, the necklace went back to Spain, and two hundred years later, Napoleon captured it, which was when it earned the name of La Peregrina (the wanderer). Later Napoleon 111 sold it to the Marquess of Abercorn while in exile in England, and Richard Burton bought it from the Abercorns. Elizabeth Taylor also owned another famous jewel, a heart shaped diamond which had once belonged to Shah Jehan, who built the Taj Mahal.

A scroll through Google, studying the jewels of the reigning and deposed royal houses of Europe is mouth-watering if jewels are your thing. One of the best things about the wedding of the Danish Crown Prince, a few years ago, was that everyone was asked to wear a tiara, and for the first time in years, all these wonderful jewels came out of hiding and bank vaults to dazzle and enchant.

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

My granddaughter came today, to give me another session wrestling with the intricacies of computers. Not a big eater, so rather than proper lunch I gave her things to pick at... shredded ham sandwiches made with brown bread one side, and white the other, with a touch of mustard. Crusts off, and cut into dainty squares to tempt her appetite. The grand-children call the Danish slightly salted butter I always use, Grannie's butter, so that was de rigueur on the bread. I also made some maple syrup and date muffins, but another time wouldn't waste expensive maple syrup , brown sugar would taste just as good. And we had celery soup to sip in a cup for those who wanted it, a fragrant gentle soup, made with just celery, a potato, chicken stock, (stock cube actually), nutmeg and a dollop of cream. Gently sauted, then boiled till soft and whizzed in the blender with salt and pepper and nutmeg to taste - quick and easy.

The muffins – two cups of self raising flour, a cup of dates, chopped and softened in hot water, pinch of salt, 125 g of butter and of brown sugar, melted together, one egg, half a cup of milk and half a teaspoon of cinnamon. Beat the egg lightly with the milk, and stir all the ingredients together. Spoon into greased pattie tins, two thirds full, sprinkle with castor sugar and bake in a hot oven for 15 to 20 minutes, or until the muffins spring back when lightly touched. I did a dozen miniature ones, and eight big ones with this amount. Eat as soon as possible, while warm - with butter if waist-lines are no object!

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

The centre of human nature is rooted in ten thousand ordinary acts of kindness that define our days.

Stephen Jay Gould, 1941 – 2002 Popular science writer, American palaeontologist and evolutionary biologist.

REAL THINGS MATTER

It has to be real coffee. I can't bear the taste of instant coffee with that smell of dry cleaning fluid lurking beneath the coffee fragrance.

No tea bags either. I reverted long ago to a tea-pot and a tea caddy. I love the meditative ritual of boiling the kettle, spooning the tea leaves from the caddy, and enjoy using a beautiful circular shaped silver spoon with a little intricately worked handle. I wonder who used it for this purpose in the past. When the tea is made, the pot goes on a tray with a cup and saucer with Redoute roses on it, a matching milk jug and tea plate. There's also a little cream French provincial jug which holds hot water to make the tea weaker if I want. It's Twinings' lapsang souchong tea, the delicate smoky taste such a habit now that I never drink anything else.

I sometimes think that this will be my greatest deprivation when I'm shunted into an old people's home – which is why I'll be drinking a nice pot of hemlock before that happens.

It's the same with the ritual of the breakfast coffee. It gives me such a sense of well being to enjoy these pretty things, instead of keeping them for best, and to eat and drink good, honest, unpolluted foodstuffs. There's also a feeling of mindfulness as I savour them

There's no way I'd have mucked-around butter on my table either. We have the real thing, not some mixture with chemicals and oils to pretend to ourselves that it's better for us than butter. I simply can't believe that a pure substance like butter could be bad for you when the other is filled with all sorts of food substitutes.

The fact is, I don't want any substitutes in my life. I want the real thing. I don't want plastic plant pots in my garden, I want lovely terra cotta pots, the sort you find in Beatrix Potter's pictures of Peter Rabbit in Mr McGregor's garden. I don't want hybrid dwarf ageratum and stunted shasta daisies and miniature dahlias in the garden. I want the old fashioned blue ageratum with long stems to loll for most of the year at the back of the border. I want tall straight Shasta daisies, not mean little blooms cowering among the lavender, and in autumn I want those big shaggy dahlias shaking their blowsy heads at the sun, not struggling to find a space among the marigolds. Same with bouncy blue agapanthus. Who wants miniature agapanthus when the real thing is so gorgeous?

I've always hated synthetic fabrics. Give me real wool and cotton, linen and silk any day, whether we're talking clothes or furnishings. And now they've discovered that many of the synthetics we use in curtains and carpets emit fumes which are dangerous to health – so why use them? Same with many building materials in modern homes. Houses of yesteryear, built using natural products weren't unhealthy like so many modern homes. And we now also know that many of the synthetic fabrics in homes are easily inflammable and burn fast, unlike wool which takes a long time to catch fire.

Apart from the safety and health aspect, natural fibres and natural building products are beautiful. Worse, our devotion to synthetics and plastic means that we're using up oil to create much of the litter that's strangling our planet. The monstrous islands of rubbish as big as continents in the oceans, are made up of plastic. The plastic breaks down into tiny shards and gets into the fish food chain, and finally into us. Serve us right.
Then there's plastic bags! When I lived in Hong Kong over forty years ago, plastic hadn't caught on, so we'd take home our food from the markets wrapped in real leaves and tied with real dried reeds. These small parcels were exquisite little works of art, and every Chinese shopkeeper and hawker could create them and tie them with the same instinctive skill. Even in English villages back when, we used baskets or string bags to carry our groceries home, not disposable plastic bags. Disposable of course, is a misnomer. Throwaways, yes, but then it takes aeons for the plastic to decompose.

And yes, in my day, of course we had the real thing – cloth nappies. And though the debate rages about the good and bad effects on the planet of disposables versus cloth nappies, at least you can go on using cloth nappies for years afterwards as dusters, car cleaning cloths, and so on, if you don't pass them on to someone else. On the other hand, the debate over babies having the real thing is actually not funny, but is sometimes a matter of life and death in developing countries.

The big global conglomerates, many of them American, have run such successful campaigns convincing Third World and Asian mothers that their babies are better off with powdered milk, that in Thailand for example, only five per cent of mothers now breast feed their babies. Babies all over the undeveloped world are being fed milk products which too often are mixed with polluted water for lack of good hygiene. In China unscrupulous middle-men added industrial additives to New Zealand milk powder to make it go further, and make bigger profits, with the result that thousands of babies ended up in hospital with serious permanent internal damage, and many died. So having the real thing is actually not a frivolous matter. It can be the difference between life and death. And what can be more real than a mother's milk?

So having got this off my chest, I'm now going to make Welsh rarebit for our light evening meal. It'll be brown bread, cooked by the local artisan baker, unprocessed cheddar cheese, real butter, and to my chagrin, the milk will be the processed stuff we all have to consume by law. No-one nowadays knows what fresh untampered -with milk tastes like. In my childhood, the cream used to sit at the top of the bottle of real milk delivered to the doorstep, and in cold weather, the sparrows would peck through the lids to get at the cream. They knew the real thing when they saw it.

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

Cheese goes further when used as Welsh rarebit, rather than straightforward cheese on toast, and the difference in flavour and texture is rather attractive for a change. So using an ounce of butter and a level tablespoon of flour – somewhere between half to three quarters of an ounce, melt the butter and stir in the flour until smooth. Add enough milk, or milk and half beer, to make a stiff mixture. Then add a teaspoon of mixed mustard, a few drops of Worcester sauce, salt and pepper, and about six ounces of grated cheese. Stir it altogether and make sure the cheese is amalgamated. Don't overcook or the cheese will become oily. Spread this mixture on four slices of buttered toast, and grill until golden brown. Serve at once. This amount will satisfy two greedy people, or four well-behaved people.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Pilgrim, remember,

For all your pain

The Master you seek abroad

You will find at home

Or seek in vain.

\- Anonymous 7th century poet

ANOTHER MILESTONE

I'm not sure if I could choose, which is more satisfying - going to check the henhouse for new laid eggs in the morning, or going to switch on my computer as soon as I've had my morning tea in bed, to check for new laid 'likes 'and comments. (Not that I have hens these days.)

When I wrote a roundup of my first month of blogging, I hadn't begun to get beyond the frontiers of this new world I'm venturing into. Four weeks ago, all I knew was doing the writing, and seeing numbers and places and countries popping up on the charts in the morning. But now I'm beginning to get to know some of the inhabitants of this fascinating new world. I'm told that there are 156 million blogs!

And I'm always amazed that any of them make contact with me. For a start, I'm so technologically incompetent, that I haven't worked out how to find other blogs, and I have no idea how people find mine. So a bit like someone hobbling along on one leg, I've had to try to find other people's blogs by clicking on the bloggers on the sites that have contacted me. Sometimes I can find their sites, other times I'm baffled by comments like 'This URL is illegal' – I'm hoping to discover what my URL is one day.

Whenever I try to obey the instructions in order to make a comment, and type in the name that seems logical to me, it turns out to be verboten and I get another slap over the wrist from the distant all-seeing Great God of Technology – "This name is not yours". I cower and switch off in panic, hoping the God doesn't know what my real name is – but if he does, I wish he'd tell me!

I don't know what a widget is, and I don't know how to do all sorts of things that appear on my charts... my computer is basically a bully and refuses to divulge who my followers are. It lets me click on everything else but won't let me see the one thing I'm longing to see. It just keeps repeating: 'error on the page'. So I'll have to drive for half an hour into town with the lap-top, to have a session with the computer repair man.

I realise that experts reading this - if they can bear to get this far- are probably steaming with frustration at the amateurish ignorance of this age-challenged blogger – but que sera sera...

BUT, the big but, has been the unexpected fun and enjoyment of contacting other people out there. Wonderful people, like the man who's given me the lowdown on wind farms, the mountaineer who shared glorious photos of Canadian mountains in the pink light of dawn, the aunt raising money for her handicapped nephew and writing warm witty posts about the journey, the man setting sail for a new life in Sweden, the Russian historian, the wonderful Indian gourmet-cook, the men and women who care about grammar and punctuation and writing and literature, and communicate their passion with wit and kindness. I've followed the couple in their travelling home, and seen their photographs of the battlefield at Gettyburg - the turning point of the American Civil War - and also envied them their freshly caught lunch by a Canadian lake.

I've read about the site of the Battle of Naseby, the pivot of the English Civil War. I've read about the plight of Chinese farmers – what a life - and caught up on historical moments like the discovery of the Rosetta Stone and the day of the first landing on the moon. I've read some wonderful cookery columns, not just your elegant recipes, but lovely witty discussions about food, which is the real fun; and I've read and shared with friends the spiritual poetry of a man in Manipur, a place which I'd never even heard of before. I enjoy reading about the books that other bloggers have read, the funny encounters in an American supermarket, and the afternoon shopping in a little English town.

Above all, I've been enchanted by bloggers' etiquette – the good manners, the acknowledgement of any comment or communication, the friendliness, the courtesy and the kindness of bloggers. They support each other, they click the 'like' button, they write friendly comments and they share their points of view with no aggro, just humour and patience. They 'follow' and they encourage. There's no criticism or sniping, it's a world of open mindedness and tolerance. Everyone's point of view is accepted, and the amazing thing is, that so far everyone I've discovered, has written such sane and sensible, wise and informative viewpoints. What a world we would live in if everyone behaved like bloggers!

So now I'm proud to tell my friends that I have a new career as a blogger – I like the sound of it... it reminds me of old English bodgers, who went into the forest every day to chop and turn chair legs and stretchers. They were craftsmen who worked alone. I like to think that I too am a craftsman, working alone in my distant little fishing village in the Antipodes.

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

Several readers were so taken with the idea of enjoying greed, that I thought I'd share the ultimate in greed. Having nothing but pudding for lunch! When my children were home in the holidays we always had fun, and on this day we agreed that I'd bake them a Bombe Alaska so that they knew just how delicious it was. And because it was so much effort we all agreed - three of us – that that would be all we'd eat for lunch.

Step one was to switch on the oven to heat up to really hot, and lay the kitchen table. Then we cut the base of a sponge cake to fit a baking tray, and soaked it in brandy. Then we piled on the fruit salad. Using some good vanilla ice-cream we covered the fruit salad with great gobs of it, and when the fruit salad was completely covered in a thick layer of ice-cream, we put it in the deep freeze.

For the meringue we needed four egg whites and two tablespoons of castor sugar for each egg white – eight tablespoons. This was whipped until the egg-whites stood in peaks and then the sugar added in three lots, beating till stiff each time. Once the meringue was ready, out came the base from the freezer, the meringue was smeared all over the ice-cream, and then the white tower went into the hot oven for three or four minutes until the meringue was browned.

The children were waiting expectantly at the table, each accompanied by their cavalier King Charles spaniel, plus Sheba the afghan, and out came the glorious confection of sponge, brandy, fruit and ice cream, and lashings of meringue. There was no point in trying to save any because it wouldn't keep! Delectable, delicious and disgustingly fattening!

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Walk on a rainbow trail; walk on a trail of song, and all about you will be beauty. There is a way out of every dark mist, over a rainbow trail.

\- Navajo Song

BOOKS TAKING OVER THE HOUSE

I've just inserted a tall narrow bookcase by the fire, the only place I could find to put another bookcase. When the sweep next comes, I expect he'll tell me it's a fire hazard, but it's a risk I have to take.

The books are taking over the house. Sometimes I do a clean out, and manage to sort out a small pile I think I won't read again, and then a few months or even a year later, I go to find one, to look something up, or check a fact, and realise it 's gone with the wind and kick myself.

It's such a little cottage that we haven't got a special room for books. There's nothing I love more than a room wall to wall with books. But here I have to slip them in between windows, the odd mirror and tall bits of furniture. I can't bear to let go my collection of green and white china in the white dresser, so that's book space gone, and we need the two big French armoires for storage, so that's another two blocks of wall gone. There are windows everywhere to let in the views of the sea and the surrounding trees, so I have no quarrel with them. But there's less room for bookcases.

So we have books in the sitting room, books in the bedroom, books in the hall, books in my husband's study, and books in the garage, books in piles on the round table in the middle of the room, books in piles on the bottom shelf of side tables and the coffee table. The new one inserted by the fireplace has absorbed all the piles of books heaped by the fire, and on the old grey painted bench, and on the stool by the French doors. There's no more room for expansion, and we face the grim choice of buying no more books - unthinkable - or having piles all over the place again.

Other people manage to have tidy homes, and I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have clear empty surfaces, and no clutter of books, magazines, articles torn out from the newspaper, recipes, things to keep for the grand-children, jars of posies, collections of tiny treasures, boxes, bits of silver, magnifying glass, candle snuffer, photo frames and the rest.

But books rule. Some I've carted round the world for years, like the old leather-bound Complete Works of Shakespeare, with an introduction by famous Victorian actor Henry Irving. It's end papers are marbled in gold and black and it's printed on rice paper with an unfaded gilt edging. I picked it up at the Petersfield market in 1958. A Prayer Book printed in 1745, the year of Bonnie Prince Charlie' s Rising, found on the book stall at Salisbury market in 1968 sits next to Shakespeare. One of the most awe-inspiring things about this book is that at the back of it some mathematical genius calculated back in 1745, all the dates of Easter up to the year 2000, which must have seemed like an impossible date to people in those times. Easter is calculated from what are known as the golden numbers and involve various other arcane computations to do with the full moon on or after various dates, and taking into account the Gregorian calendar. None of which makes any sense to this mathematically challenged person, whose top mark in most exams was eight out of a hundred.

Lined up with these two venerable treasures is the Oxford Book of English Prose, given to me in 1954 as a prize for reading the lessons at school assembly – my only prize, so rather treasured! With these grand old men of my library I keep all my favourite books, which include the poetry of TS Eliot and John Betjeman, Alan Garner's exquisite children's book 'Tom Fobble's Day,' The Oxford Book of Mystical Poetry, seven year old Daisy Ashford's hilarious classic, 'The Young Visitors', Michelangelo's Sonnets and of course, the Blessed Jane!

Other shelves house my collection of American Civil War books, all the books on Wellington and Waterloo, Arctic and Antarctic books, all Captain Cook's journeys, including his diaries and the diaries of Captain Bligh of 'Mutiny on the Bounty's'. Diaries are one of my favourite things, and I have shelves of them, both men's and women's, some famous people, others interesting because they live like you and me. I love savouring their lives and the most mundane details that add up to each day lived. 'Breakfast at eight, then went for a walk' sort of thing, gives me such pleasure, experiencing the routines and blessed ordinariness of such daily programmes.

There's innocent Dorothy Wordsworth's journals of her country walks, dyspeptic James Lees-Milne's quirky portraits of the owners of stately homes he had to inspect for the National Trust, poor old Victor Klemperer worrying about his cat as the Nazis closed in, swashbuckling Samuel Pepys and British MP Alan Clark revelling in their philandering, honest John Evelyn, back in 1654, getting a hammer out of his carriage to bash the stones at Stonehenge and failing to make a dent... and dear Sam Grant's memoirs written as he was dying of throat cancer and trying to make provision for his family. Samuel Clemens, known as Mark Twain, was his publisher.

Christopher Morley, American writer, wrote that when you get a new book, you get a new life –"love and friendship and humour and ships at sea at night -... all heaven and earth in a book."

So the piles of books will have to grow, because like the ones I've mentioned, they are precious companions, old friends, indispensable comforters and utterly irreplaceable. Beds R Us, says the ad for the furniture shop on TV. Books R Us in this house, and as an anonymous wit once said, book lovers never go to bed alone.

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

Seasonal vegetables are the best way to live cheaply, and in winter, leeks are one of my favourites. This fragrant dish is simply hardboiled eggs and leeks. For each person allow one to two eggs, and a couple of leeks depending on size.

Trim and clean the leeks and steam them while you boil the eggs. Make a vinaigrette sauce, two thirds good olive oil to one third lemon juice or white wine vinegar. Whisk them together with a little Dijon mustard. Add capers and black olives to the vinaigrette. If you don't have any olives, you can manage without, but capers are a must. Peel and halve the eggs, place them on top of the leeks and pour the vinaigrette over them. Eat with good, hot crusty rolls. Quick, cheap and easy.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

A prayer written by Jane Austen, 1775 – 1817, peerless writer and daughter, sister and aunt of Anglican clergymen:

Incline us O God! To think humbly of ourselves, to be saved only in the examination of our own conduct, to consider our fellow creatures with kindness, and to judge of all they say and do with the charity which we would desire from them ourselves.

A VILLAGE IS A WORLD

'Pet Pig Lost' read the notice pinned on a telegraph pole as I drove into the village.

My heart turned over. I do hope no-one catches him and eats him, I thought, and then banished the thought before it could take wings. This was a serious matter, but two days later the notice disappeared, and I heard that the pig had come home. He had better luck than a neighbour's labrador, which being old and doddery wandered off in the wrong direction after he'd gone out for his late night pee. His owner searched frantically into the night, and then gathered the neighbours to search all the next day. Finally, 36 hours later, someone realised they'd heard intermittent barks down in a wooded gully, and there was the poor old thing, he'd fallen into a drain and couldn't get out, being old and arthritic.

This is the stuff of life in our village - we also have births and deaths, strange accidents and surprising elopements. It's made up of four hundred and fifty permanent residents – fishermen, retirees and the rest - and at weekends and holidays, what are known as weekenders. We're a mixture of teachers, builders, mechanics, writers, potters, painters, lobster fishermen, retired professors in disciplines ranging from botany to marine biology, one ballet dancer who is now a choreographer, so we have our very own dance company, a lady who threads beads and makes necklaces, an odd job man, a mountaineer, a reiki teacher, a weaver, a sewing lady ... the list could go on, but you get the picture – a mixed bunch. We're Kiwis, English, French, German, American, Canadian, South African and Australian.

The first settlers landed in this beautiful place in the 1860's. Their names still people the bowling club teams, the volunteer fire brigade and the library rosters, they adorn the grave-stones in the cemetery and the war memorials, the names of roads and rocky bays. The first family who landed, arrived from England, bringing a tent which they set up on the beach at the end of the harbour, the first Europeans to set foot here. They were joined by settlers from Nova Scotia who had originally come from Scotland. They had found life in Nova Scotia so hard, that after several consecutive years of the crops failing, they packed up their lives after 30 years, built a couple of ships, and sailed off with unbelievable courage and optimism, to find another promised land.

They found it here, and once more set to, to chop down trees for their homes, and clear land of bush and forest to plough and plant their food. The nearest provisions were several hours of sailing down the coast to Auckland, or a long ride through untamed and unmapped country, to the nearest small town of a few hundred people.

So women made their own clothes, and carried and boiled the water for the copper. When the clothes had boiled in the copper, they pulled and pushed them through the mangle, and blued and starched them and hung them out to dry on bushes and make- shift lines with a forked branch as a prop, before the labour of ironing; heating up the irons on a fire and testing to see if they were hot enough by spitting on the base to see if the moisture sizzled. They cooked and preserved and baked and dried and salted and bottled the food. If they ran out there was no store nearby to re-fill the larder. Those were the days, and they were also the days of my childhood, when neighbours were forever popping over to each other or sending a child to ask for an onion or an egg, or half a cup of sugar or milk. Neighbourliness was an absolute necessity of life.

People gave each other lifts in their carts. The men helped each other fell and saw the planks for building their homes, they lent their horses for the ploughing, and joined together to fence their fields, cut the hay, build the hayricks, and even grind the wheat which they had to grow, or go without. Ships of supplies might berth at bigger ports like Auckland, but if they missed a tide or were caught in storms, then the supplies didn't arrive. These settlers started their own school and paid the school mistress out of their own meagre pockets, and built the schoolroom, and found accommodation for the teacher.

And they made their own fun. They put on their Sunday best for church, they organised picnics, and sang round the piano, and formed a brass band... it was astonishing how many people learned a musical instrument then, and could play dance tunes on their violins or their flutes or mouth organs. And people whistled in those days, and sang songs to each other. They read aloud to each other at night by candle-light, and the children played hopscotch and five-stones and marbles – games that encouraged highly developed eye and hand and foot co-ordination . They skipped and played ball, and the boys played endless games of foot ball, kicking stones all the way home from school, so their boots were always scuffed, but they developed tremendous ball skills.

It was a hard life and a simple life, but also a satisfying life. Neighbourliness supported the whole community, and there were no extremes of rich and poor, it was a truly egalitarian society. Many of those qualities still make this small village what our store owner used to call paradise. It's still a small self sufficient community. We have our own private library, partly staffed by an ex-Parisian, the school bus is driven by a white bearded retired South African professor, the store run by a retired social worker. We have our own fire brigade, all unpaid volunteers, who come for first aid as well as fires. We have our own garage, our own school, and most importantly, our own fresh fish and chip shop; our own classy restaurant where local gigs are held, while some still sing hymns in our pretty white painted church with its tiny bell tower, and others do yoga in the church hall.

Our little cottage is on a cliff overlooking a small bay, where the waves crash onto the rocks below, and I go to sleep to the sound of the sea. The Japanese poet Yoshi Isamu might have written his haiku especially for me:

Even in my sleep

the sound of water

flows beneath my pillow.

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

This is called Healing Soup, and it's certainly very comforting, due, I think, to the unusual inclusion of ginger and coriander. I love it, and you couldn't get more economical than this. All you need is a large onion, a carrot or two, a few stalks of celery, a couple of garlic cloves, a piece of ginger the size of half a walnut, and a sprinkling of coriander.

Chop the vegetables and saute them till they begin to soften. Add the garlic and ginger, and sautee a bit more. If you haven't got ginger you can use the powdered sort, but the real thing does taste better. Stir in a quarter to half a teaspoon of coriander powder. You may find you want more or less, but it's the coriander that gives it its warming quality. Pour in some chicken stock or use Braggs amino acid or chicken bouillon, and make the liquid up to about a pint with this amount of vegetables. Boil until the vegetables are cooked, and then whizz in the blender, and you should have a lovely warming soup. I make it the consistency to sip from a cup.

You can double the amount, use less stock to make it thicker, use other vegetables, even cucumber which then makes it a cleansing soup. I've added mashed up sweet potato/kumara, left over from the day before, pumpkin... all delicious, but the original recipe is still my favourite. Salt and pepper to taste, and serve with lots of fresh chopped parsley.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Loss

The day he moved out was terrible-

That evening she went through hell.

His absence wasn't a problem

But the corkscrew had gone as well.

By Wendy Cope, contemporary English poet

REAL OLYMPICS

The Olympic Games of 1948 were the last games I got really interested in. Fanny Blankers-Koen, the heroic Dutch woman runner captured my imagination, and with a few girl friends we organised our own local Olympic games. The lucky girls who had bikes had a bike race. The rest of us made do with running in our cotton summer dresses. We tucked them into our knickers for the high jump – better named the middling to low jump.

We had a highly competitive three- legged race, and a wheelbarrow race. This is a real team event, with one person holding the legs of the front runner who is moving forward on her two hands. When the Olympics were first revived in the 1850's by Dr William Penny Brookes at Much Wenlock, a small Shropshire town in England, the wheelbarrow race had an extra degree of difficulty in that the wheelbarrows were blindfold. This refinement was dropped for our less arduous sports event.

In spite of Dr Penny Brookes having often met and greatly influenced Baron Pierre de Coubertin, the Baron neither gave him the credit for his influence, or included the blindfolded wheelbarrow race in his first modern Olympics held first in Greece in 1896 and then in Paris in 1904. In spite of this reckless omission, the Olympics flourished amid the normal squabbles and rivalries we've all come to expect, as everyone jockeys for influence, success and medals.

I find it quite ironic that the French baron was so impressed by the English physical education at Rugby School and by its famous headmaster Dr Arnold, that he tried to get the French interested in physical education in all French schools. The patriotic baron put down Britain's success in winning an empire to their emphasis on sports at school. He must have believed in the Duke of Wellington's slightly misquoted remark about Waterloo having been won on the playing fields of Eton.

Wellington actually said, as he walked past boys playing on an Eton cricket pitch, 'there grows the stuff that won Waterloo!' But since his French compatriots could not be interested in winning their battles on the playing fields of St Cyr or anywhere else at the time, de Coubertin put his efforts into reviving the ancient Greek Olympics.

Myself, I prefer the idea of the modern Olympics, revived in 1996 and held every four years at Nemea in Greece, the site of ancient Greek games. Anyone can enter, and athletes run in white tunics, rather than stark naked like the original Greek athletes. The opening ceremony is held in the magnificent ruins of the temple of Zeus near the stadium. In the golden Mediterranean twilight, families gather and spread themselves under the pine trees, and perch on ruined columns. After a speech by the Mayor of Nemea, Greek warriors in full regalia appear and are met by two women, one, in white, personifying Ekecheiria – Peace - the other in black- Nemea, carrying the sacred flame. Choirs sing and the warriors lay down their weapons and a sacred truce is declared.

The gathering then meanders through the vineyards to the nearby stadium where a pyre is lit, a song is sung, and the games declared open. The next day the competitors, not necessarily athletes, go through their paces, all barefoot. (Remember the fuss when the South African woman runner Zola Budd sprinted down the track barefoot?)

Men, women and children, old and young, compete in their classes down the 90 foot stadium – the other 100 metres hasn't been excavated yet. Everyone is cheered down the track, and the winner is awarded a crown woven from wild celery. At the end of the day a marathon is held, raced over country where Hercules would have run, and ending in the stadium which Hercules had measured out. The runners emerge from a tunnel at the end of the track, with ancient Greek graffiti carved in it, and run onto the track to be cheered to the race's end.

Now that sounds like fun. No wheelbarrow race alas, but they can say, as I will say on my deathbed: 'cursum perficio' – which can be translated as: 'I have run the course', or 'my journey ends here'. For life is our Olympics, and like the Nemean Olympics, it isn't so much about winning, but about being there, doing it, loving it, daring it, and making the most of it with laughter and determination. Maybe that's how it feels for you too...

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

Those who've read 'Cranford' by Elizabeth Gaskell will know what I mean when I say that our social life is rather like the ladies of Cranford's. So we were due for dinner with friends, where I knew we would be joining two other sets of friends. I promised my hostess to bring a starter for her, so that we could nibble on them before dinner, and she only had to worry about two courses.

That morning, after a long session of Tai Chi, I dashed off to the supermarket to get blinis, which I'd always been able to buy in frozen packets. They've stopped stocking them. Gnashing my teeth, I tried to think of something else on the spot, and settled for crostinis. But back home, it felt like too much trouble, as you can only do the crostinis an hour or so before eating. Back to blinis. I made my own, and smothered in cream cheese, a generous bite of smoked salmon, and a sprinkling of chopped parsley they were as good as the professional ones – and at least I knew what was in them! I forgot to look up Google for a recipe, and Mrs Beeton, who never lets me down on the bread and butter stuff, didn't have anything on blinis. So I used her pikelet recipe without the sugar, and it was perfect.

It's just six ounces, or six heaped tablespoons of self raising flour, two eggs, enough milk to make a thick batter, and salt. Whisk everything together, and using a dessertspoon, dribble each little blini into a non-stick frying pan or griddle. Cook one side until bubbles start to rise through the batter, and then turn. They cook very quickly. Put them to cool on a clean cloth.

Using half the amount I made thirty little blinis, and then added some sugar to the rest of the mix and cooked a small pile of pikelets for an indulgent afternoon tea, eaten hot with butter and homemade (not by me) fig and ginger jam.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing at all.

\- Helen Keller 1880 – 1968 Feminist, suffragist, pacifist, socialist, campaigner for the blind, first deaf-blind person to achieve a Bachelor of Arts, writer of 12 books. Beloved by many.

MORE ABOUT BOOKS

Between six and a half and nearly nine, I lived with my grandmother. My mother had disappeared, not to be found until fifty years later, and my father was at the war from when I was a year old until nearly nine. Those two and a half years I spent with my grandmother were the happiest years of my childhood, and one of the reasons, apart from the fact that she loved and spoiled me, was that she brought loads of book into the house when she came to look after us,

I was allowed to read everything, and my range was a wide one, from Enid Blyton's 'The Faraway Tree', published by instalments in a magazine called Sunny Stories, which I collected from the grocer every week, to 'Foxe's Martyrs,' a huge leather bound book with engraved illustrations with a piece of flimsy paper covering each one. It was a ghoulish record of the three hundred Englishmen and women who Bloody Mary had had burned at the stake for being Protestants. 'Foxe's Martyrs' wasn't one of my favourite books, but it was there. Also there, were bound copies of Victorian ladies journals, with stories about beautiful orphans, though of noble birth, and young men with crisp, fair curls, sporting striped blazers, straw boaters and high moral character, who rescued these pure young maidens from lives of poverty and humiliation.

'Little Lord Fauntleroy' was also pressed on me by my grandmother, as was' Uncle Tom's Cabin'. 'Uncle Tom's Cabin', which sold even more copies in England than in the US, was one of my grandmother's favourites, and after reading it at eight, I became a fervent abolitionist. Which no doubt would have warmed Harriet Beecher Stowe's warm heart. I never had any trouble with poor old Uncle Tom, in spite of today's politically correct connotations. I loved him for his moral courage and kindness, which I could understand even at eight. He died for his principles, refusing to inflict on other slaves the same cruel beatings that killed him. Eliza and her child fleeing over the frozen river haunted my nightmares.

The other book on my grandmother's shelves which shaped my life even more than 'Uncle Tom's Cabin', was 'John Halifax, Gentleman', written by Mrs Craik. Published in 1865, the year of the ending of the American Civil War, it was about an orphaned boy who found a home in a Quaker household, and through espousing Quaker virtues became a successful and prosperous pillar of the community. Sounds pretty boring, but even as a child, I loved him for his dignity, integrity, moral courage and loving heart. Like Uncle Tom, he never sacrificed his principles for the sake either of safety or material gain.

When my father returned from overseas, I went to live with him and our new stepmother. I never mentioned these two books, after they had laughed themselves silly when I disclosed to them in an unguarded moment that I had read 'Little Lord Fauntleroy'. I thought maybe these two books might also be material for grownup mockery, and it wasn't until my late teens that I discovered that they were both well regarded classics. When I re-read John Halifax in my twenties, I realised that the principles that he had lived his life by had been the unconscious grounding of my own philosophy.

My first Christmas with them, my new parents gave me a copy of Louisa M Alcott's ' Little Women'. Like most children of my generation and previous ones, I read it again and again, and the principles of integrity, kindness and concern for others influenced me deeply, as I'm sure it influenced so many other girls back then. Thanks to Jo March, I also began writing, and produced my own newspaper, somewhat plagiarised, until it was discovered by the adults and became a great joke.

The last book which influenced me all my life was Anna Sewell's 'Black Beauty,' a birthday present. 'Black Beauty', the story of a horse and his friend Ginger, and how they were exploited by human beings they trusted, until these two fine thoroughbreds had been worn down to become half-starved, broken down cab horses, entered my soul. I've always been thankful that we use the motor car now, instead of horses, no matter how much pollution cars cause. 'Black Beauty' taught me to love and respect all animals and all life, including the birds of the air and the creatures in the sea.

Louisa Alcott was brought up and taught by Transcendentalists, including Emerson and Thoreau, while Anna Sewell's parents were Quakers. So when I look back at the four books that in many ways have shaped my character, I see that they were all written by women in the middle of the nineteenth century, all of whom lived in families and communities with the highest ideals and with a commitment to actually practising what they preached (Harriet Beecher Stowe and her husband used to hide escaped slaves). I feel I was so lucky that these four books came my way at the age that I was, so that their philosophies became an integral part of my values and thinking.

As the years have gone by, and I've explored different creeds and religions, in the end, the core of them seemed to be the principles that the American Transcendentalists and the English Quakers lived by. So there's never been any conflict between other creeds and the old beliefs that I picked up from these old books. I often wonder which are the books today that do this same job of inspiring and grounding children in the ideals and values of our civilisation. I've watched the Harry Potter films with my grandchildren, and can see that it's a struggle between good and evil. But the books that taught me, were about the immediate, down to earth, everyday situations, in which truthfulness, and kindness, moral courage and selflessness were the standards by which the heroes and heroines lived and died in these old books. And these Victorian books were lovely – gold embossed covers, thick paper and beautiful type-faces.

There are so many well written and inspiring books for children and young adults these days, and the nature of our civilisation is such that there are hundreds. So instead of a handful of classics uniting people, so that they knew the same stories and shared the same experiences, today there are so many stories that now people don't have a background in common.

I remember the true story of British writer Patrick Leigh Fermor, who kidnapped a German general in Crete in 1944. He smuggled him up into the mountains. In the morning as the shocked and despondent general was looking over the mountains in the dawn, he quoted some lines to himself in Latin from the Roman poet Horace. Leigh Fermor recited the rest of the ode with him, and in his words:'...for a long moment, the war had ceased to exist. We had both drunk at the same fountains long before; and things were different between us for the rest of our time together."

Stories like this remind us of the power of books and words and art.

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

I've been so busy with blogging and making lemon chutney with our surfeit of lemons at this time of year, that I haven't had time to prepare a sustaining lunch for my hungry 82 year old husband. Quick onion soup will have to do, with hot rolls.

I have some lovely stock from the potatoes, carrots and Brussels sprouts all cooked in the same water yesterday, so that also makes me feel virtuously frugal. The soup takes four large onions sliced thinly and stewed in butter. When they're soft, stir in a tablespoon of sugar. Stir until the sugar browns - don't let it turn black. Then pour in a pint and a half of stock, with either half a glass of wine, or a dash of wine vinegar. Simmer for about 20 minutes, add salt and pepper to taste, and a sprinkling of parsley. Caramelising the onions with the sugar gives the soup colour, and a rich delicate flavour. Recipe for the lemon chutney in the next post!

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Whatever the world may say or do, my part is to keep myself good; just as a gold piece, or an emerald, or a purple robe insists perpetually, 'whatever the world may say or do, my part is to remain an emerald and keep my colour true.'

Marcus Aurelius, born in AD 121, philosopher, Stoic and Emperor of Rome from AD 161 to his death in AD 180

BUYING A NEW CAR

My daughter has finally winkled me out of my ancient and large white car with the bribe of going halves on a new one. An irresistible offer! A nippy little silver job, easy to park, and flies like the swift it's named after.

But first, there was the old car to dispose of. Cleaning it out was a bit like moving house. The glove box obviously, was a mess - old sunglasses, handbook, old warrant of fitness bills, old maps - out of date - and a heavy choke chain and lead for a big dog. The middle shelves gave up a hoard of tooth picks- the wooden sort and the plastic brushes with a plastic lid - peppermints, a box of matches, a pen, some packets of almonds for hungry emergencies, loose change for wind-screen washers at traffic lights, a couple of elastoplasts, a defunct key-ring and a lipstick. The compartment in the door had to be cleared of tissues – clean- a bottle of Yardley's lavender water and a small choke chain and small dog lead.

The back seat was divested of rug, a basket containing a bottle of water, a pair of gloves, a nearly empty bottle of Chanel No 5, and some empty egg boxes for re-cycling. The pocket in the back seat had another out- of- date book of maps and some dog biscuits. On the floor were a couple of shopping bags, and a large Tupperware box to be returned to a friend in the city when I was going her way.

In the boot, a big towel for wiping wet rescued dogs, a child's plastic beach bucket and a big bottle of water for thirsty dogs, a walking stick in case my husband forgets his, a picture and frame to be taken to have the glass repaired when I find a good picture framer, a bag of books to take to a hospice shop, and another bag with some of my own books as - just occasionally - people I meet ask to buy one.

I've got so much gear for dogs because if there is a lost dog within a hundred miles of me, it will eventually cross my path. In the past I've had a springer spaniel found in a forest, two over-sized muddy mongrels escaped from home, a lost retriever found on the road late at night, and stowed in the garage with a message left on the draining board for my husband – 'Warning. Large dog in garage'. I've found a labrador puppy, whose teeth marks still deface the arm-rest in the front, and a Staffordshire bull terrier who leant gratefully against the back seat, knowing he was now safe; there was a huge shaggy German shepherd, and a little dog who I lured into the car by giving him my husband's steak for dinner, and throwing a blanket over him as he ate. He turned out to be a well known local tramp, accurately named Scruffy. Then there were the sealyham and the scottie wandering down a country road late at night, two retriever puppies stranded on a busy city roundabout... and a litter of sheepdog puppies gambolling down another country road on a summer's night on our way out to dinner...and these are just the ones I remember!

The now empty car needed a good vacuuming, getting pine cone crumbs off the back seat, when I couldn't get mesh bags of them into the boot because I'd forgotten to empty it of some boxes my daughter had asked me to put in her garage, the odd mouldy chicken nugget retrieved from under the seat, the fossilised relic of a grandchild's snack, and the general mess from carting bags of compost, potting mix, bark, plants and the rest.

I took the old car to a car wash and gave it the works, and then drove it to my daughter's where the new car awaited me. By now I was beginning to feel a bit weepy, as though I was abandoning a beloved friend. It had carried me faithfully for over eleven years, done thousands of miles especially when I was doing a six hundred mile round trip once a week to see my grand-children. It had never let me down, and in turn I faithfully oiled and watered and serviced it. I thanked it each time it passed its six months warrant check, and felt grateful for its loyalty, reliability and dogged service.

I've laughed in it, and prayed in it, sung in it, meditated in it, cried in it, enjoyed friends in it, and carried my grandchildren in it- even my grand-daughter's dollies propped up in the back seat when she wanted them to have some fresh air. I look back on moments like the one when the fourteen year old was asleep on the back seat, after we'd had a long adventurous day out together. As we returned to civilisation and approached the harbour bridge, I called out to him to sit up and put his seat belt on. "I'm too tired, Grannie", he murmured from the depths of the seat. " Well, I could be caught and fined by the traffic police you know", I replied. "No, you won't Grannie," he answered, "they'll just think you're a dear old grannie, and let you off!"

And another child at four years old, sitting in the front seat going home after the weekend, looking wizened and sad in the middle of an asthma attack. He asked a question, and after I'd given him the answer, he looked grumpily at me with his big brown eyes, and said; "How come you know everything Grannie?" I gulped, and then came up with the answer: "Because I'm so old". This seemed to satisfy him!

So this car, a heap of metal, was much more than that to me. I loved it and it held so many memories. Martin Buber, the great Jewish teacher once wrote that: 'no encounter with a being or a thing lacks a hidden significance. He said that: 'the people we live with or meet with, the animals that help us with our farmwork, the soil we till, the material we shape, the tools we use, they all contain a mysterious spiritual substance which depends on us for helping it towards its pure form, its perfection'. Recognising the part that this big heap of metal had played in my life - this old car which seemed to have its own personality - and remembering Martin Buber's words, made me feel less foolish at being so upset at saying goodbye to it.

I just hope its next owner loves it too.

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

The lemon chutney I made the other day is wonderful with cheese or cold meats, and also makes a lovely gift. At this time of year in New Zealand the trees are laden with citrus fruits, and it's a particularly good year for lemons.

You need seven or eight lemons - the thin skinned sort. Cut them in eight wedges and pick out the pips. Put them in a bowl and sprinkle the lemon flesh with one and a half tablespoons of salt, and leave for two days. Put it all in a blender with 500grammes of raisins and four cloves of garlic, and blitz. Tip the mixture into a large saucepan with two teaspoons of horseradish sauce, one teaspoon chilli powder, a tablespoon of freshly grated ginger, a cup and a half of cider, and 500grammes of brown sugar. Bring to the boil and simmer gently without a lid until thick. Pour into clean hot jars and seal. Yum!

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

If it is to be, it is up to me.

Advice for life to his boys, by an anonymous English headmaster.

NO GOLD MEDAL FOR THIS DRIVER

Yes, it's a great saying – when you let something go, something new comes into your life –but they never said how traumatic the new would be.

So there was the dinky little new car waiting at my daughter's house. They were all away, so I locked up the old car, patted it, said goodbye with tears in my eyes and climbed into the new. When you've been driving for fifty years, it's a piece of cake isn't it!

As I pulled away to join the rush hour traffic and looked at the gears, I realised I had no idea what I was looking at. I assumed D/ S was the gear to drive in, but was ' L' a top gear, since it was the last in line? The nearest petrol station was marooned in heavy traffic, so I went back to the friendly car wash, where the attendant had been so helpful. He put me right on ' L,' so I sailed onto the motorway and into the going- home rush hour traffic.

Not being used to the sound of small cars, I wondered if the noise I could hear was mine or outside. I pressed the side window button, and got the left back window. Pressed the front, and it worked, and I listened and found I was making the sounds I could hear, so went to put the window up. It wouldn't go. Neither would the back window. Bowling along in heavy traffic, I sat in the cross draught with an icy gale blowing, getting soaked as the rain flew in. I tried every button, and the car began to behave like a Mr Bean nightmare, push this, and the side mirrors curled in, push that and the wind screen wipers swirled, push another and a blast of hot air told me I'd got the heater. That was good, it slightly balanced out the bitter wind and rain.

Three-quarters of an hour later, I pulled off at the first petrol pump on the left and asked a man getting his petrol how to get the windows up. I didn't have to put on a pathetic little old lady act – I was one!

It was quite simple, I just pulled the tabs up. As I backed away to resume the journey, the car started shouting at me. I jumped and nerves completely shattered by now, crawled to another pump occupied by a man and six sheep. He suggested maybe it was the seat-belt. It might have been. So I carried on home, and deposited it in the garage after various other tribulations.

Come the morning I had to drive an hour and a half to get my frail husband to the airport to see his even frailer older sister, pushing ninety. Problem number one, we couldn't unlock the doors. The driver's seat was still unlocked from the night before, so in the end - quite desperate - I stuffed my bulky husband into the driver's seat and pushed and shoved him and his unyielding stiff legs into the other seat. Feeling slightly unhinged by this, and with all the mud coming off the soles of his shoes into the pristine car, that he didn't know where it had come from, I got in front of the wheel. The gears wouldn't budge. Some time later, I unlocked the house, went back inside and rang the garage. Saturday morning and just a stand-in selling petrol. So I rang the boss at home and got his wife. "Try putting your foot on the brake," she suggested.

Locked up the house, strode back to the garage, and trapped husband. Foot on the brake and I could move the gear stick. Hooray. Off we go.

But we don't. I can't start the wretched thing (and by this time four letter words were being used quite freely). Try taking your foot off the accelerator said my husband, whose advice had not, frankly, been too good up till now. This time he'd hit the spot. The car started, and as we backed out of the garage, I discovered why it had been making frantic noises the day before at the petrol pump. It does make these noises when I back. It's the nature of the beast.

And so off to the airport, still not knowing how to unlock the doors, work the wind-screen wipers with any accuracy, or the heater with any certainty, and the inside light and the head-lights a complete enigma. Reader, (to quote Charlotte Bronte) we got there! A stop for petrol and a helpful attendant meant I discovered central locking and some of the other baffling refinements.

On the way back, travelling at my normal speed - which has earned me in the past the epithet of 'racing grannie" - a number of large cars of the Chelsea tractor variety, passed me quite dangerously, and cut in on me. I was puzzled at first, and then it began to feel familiar. Yes, it was 'the- little- old- lady- in- a- little- car- must- be- driving- too- slowly' syndrome. I'd experienced it years before when I used to drive a little Ford laser. Back home I mentioned it to a friend. "Oh yes", she said, "in Mike's big car, I get around no trouble. In my little car, I get hassled, and bullied, especially at roundabouts and junctions."

I felt quite indignant. It's bad enough being introduced to the same man over and over again, because men never recognise or remember women with grey hair, but to be hassled and despised in my car because I have grey (to white) hair as well, is the pits!

The family were mortified when I described my ordeals because they had actually thought I had understood their briefing on the car. But I am someone whose only kitchen gadget was a pop-up toaster for most of my life (made mayonnaise with a wooden spoon), and who has never learned to thread a sewing machine, so made all my curtains by hand. No wonder I struggle with my computer! (The car manual is another story, but I'll spare you the details)

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

The winter weather seems to get colder with every day that passes, my huge pile of firewood is dwindling, and our need for comfort food increases. So today I did my chicken stew special. Searching the deep freeze for something edible that would de-freeze quickly (no, I don't use a microwave) I came on something I recognised – a couple of chicken thighs. I try to label, but usually decide I'll recognise it when I want it. This means that the day I defrosted some lentil soup for supper, we ended up having Christmas pudding instead.

So I got out the big saucepan and sauted a couple of onions and celery sticks, added a couple of chopped leeks and browned the still frozen chicken pieces. Then I added two chopped carrots, one grated carrot, a big cup of mashed pumpkin from the day before, and another quarter of chopped pumpkin, a parsnip, a few chopped garlic cloves, twp bay leaves, some chicken bouillon cubes, a squeeze of tomato puree, Worcester sauce, salt and pepper, and let it all simmer till soft.

Meanwhile I put four tablespoons of self raising flour in a bowl with two tablespoons of grated suet, salt and pepper, and a teaspoon or more of mixed herbs.

Mix this with enough water to make a stiff dough, and leave to stand in the fridge for half an hour. Ten minutes or so before serving the stew, drop large tablespoons of the dumpling mixture into the simmering stew, and cook for about ten minutes or until a needle comes out clean. On other days I would use whatever other vegetables I had in the house, or even add some washed lentils, but always onion, celery and carrots. If I put potatoes in I wouldn't make dumplings, but would add the mixed herbs to the stew. I usually throw in a handful of frozen peas at the end, for the colour. There's always plenty to have the next day as soup, and for added nourishment I add plenty of chopped parsley and grated cheese on top.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Few have heard of Fra Luca Pacioli, the inventor of double-entry book-keeping; but he has probably had more influence on human life that has Dante or Michelangelo.

Herbert J Muller, 1905 – 1980 American philosopher

CULTURE, HISTORY, GLAMOUR AND BEAUTY

There's a mysterious magic in some names and places, names like The Akhond of Swat, places like The Forbidden City, Venice, Timbuctoo or Mandalay. Sadly as the world has shrunk, and tourism has tainted so many remote places, some of the magic has melted away. It's as though the less we know, the more romantic a place is.

Aleppo is one of those romantic places, but we've always known plenty about it, and it's still a magic place. It's so old that people were living there over seven thousand years ago. It's seen every conqueror in history, from Greeks, Romans, Byzantines, Mongols, Mamluks and Ottomans, and now the Assads. It's architecture is older than the Greeks, legend has it that Abraham lived nearby with his flocks, Alexander was here in 333 BC, and Saladin made it here too, among many others.

Since the sixteen century many Europeans lived here too, as Aleppo was the first city to have its own consuls, the first being the Venetian consul who built his house here in 1599. The same family have occupied it for centuries, like many other Europeans who came from places like Italy and Austria and stayed, building handsome homes, collecting exquisite works of art and historic libraries. The famous Baron's Hotel which rivalled all the great hotels of the world hosted royalties from all over the world - mostly Europe - travellers like Freya Stark and Patrick Leigh Fermor, statesmen like Theodore Roosevelt and Earl Mountbatten, the rich and famous like the Rockefellers and Charles Lindbergh, Agatha Christie and many more. The great Citadel has stood defiant for centuries, the Souk is the longest in the world at nearly 13 kilometres, while all around are ancient ruins, Roman and Greek, Crusader, and Assyrian.

And now - like Babylon, where US troops dug tank trenches, and wiped out ancient Sumerian cities; like Kabul, where the museum with relics from Alexander's visit was obliterated by Russian and Taliban fighters; like the Bamiyan Buddhas, bombed by the Taliban; like Bayreuth, once called the most beautiful city in the world, destroyed in civil war - this treasure, which is not just part of the heritage of the Middle East, but is the heritage of humanity, is also being destroyed. Both people and history are being shown no mercy.

The famous Crusader castle of Krak des Chevaliers has been shelled by the troops of Assad, an Assyrian temple has been destroyed, and battles have been fought among the famed "dead cities," the Graeco-Roman cities long abandoned, but preserved in the dry heat of the desert. When the rebels take refuge behind the thick walls of ancient castles, Syrian troops haven't hesitated to destroy these historic monuments in order to kill their countrymen hiding behind them.

Queen Zenobia's legendary city of Palmyra is surrounded by Syrian troops, camped in the castle above the city, and there's a tank park in the Valley of Tombs. It's even rumoured that trenches have been dug in the Roman city. All these places, like the places devastated in Iraq, have nurtured many cultures for millenniums, from Sumerian and Byzantine to Christian and Moslem. And desperate men are destroying this heritage. Places of beauty, symbolism and significance for mankind are once again being devastated, as was much of Europe in World War Two, and the previously untouched historic cities like Sarajevo and Dubrovnik in later conflicts.

Africa is also our heritage, the cradle of the human race, that mysterious continent which hosts so many magnificent creatures seen nowhere else on the planet. And the native people who live there today are part of the delicate balance between man and nature, which unlike westerners, they have managed to preserve where they are left in peace. But here too, the ancient, misty culture of mankind, and the existence of the unique creatures who share this world with us, is threatened. Not by war here, but by heartless pleasure seeking. The Masai who inhabit the Serengeti in Tanzania, are facing eviction so that rich oil millionaires, kings and princes from the Gulf can hunt and shoot the wild life there.

The Arctic and Antarctic are also the common heritage of us all. And they too are being despoiled by the oil rush, by tourism, by global warming and power struggles. Our planet is so small now that we are all affected by whatever happens. Recently on TV, Professor Brian Cox, the famous physicist, picked up a huge diamond, and told his astonished audience that we are all so connected that when he rubs the diamond, it affects the stars in space. So we are certainly all affected by all these events happening in our small local world. We Are all one, as the mystics have always asserted.

What can we do to make a difference? I know that there are many people working to end conflict in all its forms. And the best way? Start with ourselves... which means that though we may hate what's happening, we can't hate the people involved – because they all think they're doing the right thing just like you and me!

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

An impromptu little gathering for drinks with a few friends meant rustling up something to soak up the wine, so they wouldn't, in the words of a funny article I read, have to drive drunkenly home through country lanes. A dish of olives, and some chicken pate and crackers were the usual nibbles, but I decided instead of doing something with salmon that I'd make a sardine pate. Quick and easy. Two tins of sardines, four tablespoons of cream cheese, some squeezed lemon, salt and pepper, and lots of finely chopped parsley. No need to bother with a mixer – which I don't have - it mashes into a lovely smooth spread/dip- call it what you will. With thin slices of artisan olive bread left over from lunch, it was a hit, and cheap withal.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Our ordinary mind always tries to persuade us that we are nothing but acorns and that our greatest happiness will be to become bigger, fatter, shinier acorns; but that is only of interest to pigs. Our faith gives us knowledge of something better: that we can become oak trees.

E.F. Schumacher. 1911 - 1977 Economist and writer of 'Small is Beautiful '.

I'M CRAZY FOR POWER

Yesterday I was thrown out of the cinema. Friend and I had gone to see our favourite film before it went off. Quarter of an hour into the familiar dialogue, chuckling at the jokes we'd laughed at before, the film disappeared and a weak little light appeared at the top of the stairs. We waited for them to fix the tape, but instead a girl appeared and said it was a power cut. Great gnashing of teeth. I was thankful for the feeble light by the stairs, imagining what it would have been like to have been plunged into total darkness, and a stampede for the only exit at the bottom of the stairs.

Sitting around outside, they finally told us to go home. Couldn't give us a refund, because the till wouldn't open without electricity. So they gave us another ticket.

Before going home, I said I'd just get some tomatoes for my husband's supper - cold - since I was going to Tai Chi. The grocery was in flat panic. Dark, with no lights, blinds down over the open chilled shelves. I asked to give them some money for the tomatoes, but they had to go to the back and find the key to manually open the till. Then they didn't know how much they were, because the price would have come up on the till... so off they went to the office to find the list of stock prices, and finally I managed to buy the tomatoes. Thank heavens I didn't need any petrol. The whole little town was buzzing in despair and panic, no-one could even go to the loo in the pitch dark..

Back home, I thought about The Great Storm of four years ago. Most of the country had been blacked out, but power was restored over a few days. In our neck of the woods however, where concrete power poles had been crumbled all over the road like biscuit crumbs, and a tree had come down over the generator across the road from us, we were powerless for five days.

A different world opens up. We catch rainwater on the roof, store it in a huge tank, and pump it into the house. But no electricity equals no pump, equals no water. No water for drinking, washing, washing clothes, washing dishes, flushing the loo. No power meant no cooking, no lighting, and no TV or stereo. Luckily we could open our garage manually, but some friends had no other way of getting into their garages, and were marooned with their car behind the immoveable garage door.

So I boiled water on a camp fire and on the wood burning heater, fried eggs and bacon, and boiled soup. Didn't dare open the deep freeze for fear of losing the still frozen contents, and resented opening the fridge for butter, milk and the like. The village store was in darkness, their fridges going on a generator, the garage was closed. No help at the fish and chop shop. Unwashed dishes piled up. Unwashed clothes accumulated. We had to get used to unwashed bodies. Some people cooked on their barbecues, some people had no form of heating except electricity, and froze.

After a couple of days we began to gingerly adjust. I drove to a nearby town which had the power on, and bought water and lots of extra pairs of underpants and panties. My husband thought of using buckets of water from the swimming pool next door – my daughter's holiday home \- to flush the loo. I never got used to not having my electric blanket, but at least we had a hot water bottle. Candles made the house look and feel beautiful, but the light wasn't good enough to read by at night. Some neighbours used miners' lamps, clipping them round their heads to go to bed and read. It worked apart from the large circle in the middle of their foreheads from the pressure.

I read today that the Blessed Bill Gates has offered a prize for a loo that works without water, electricity or a septic tank - all components of our system here - a loo that costs only five cents a day to run, preferably captures energy, and discharges no pollutants. A number of brilliant solutions have been invented. And the idea is to provide safe sanitation for the 2.5 billion people around the world who don't have it.

I think we should all be able to buy these loos. Our over-crowded world desperately needs sustainable solutions like these for everything. We need alternatives to electricity, oil and coal ... we need a dozen more Bill Gates's to find solutions that involve the sun's sustainable energy, the wind, the waves. For a few days, we in our village experienced a few temporary discomforts when power was unavailable, but were able to get outside help from places that did have power. But there will surely come a time when there won't be enough of anything. The world's population is estimated to grow to between nine and ten billion within forty years – the lifetime of our grand-children. Two hundred years ago the population of England and Wales was eight million, compared with 56 million now, and it's the same sort of increase all over the world. So we urgently need more solutions like Bill Gates's loos.

This is not cause for despair, for all is not lost. Mankind is brilliant at creating marvellous inventions, and resolving problems when it wants to. This is the message of a book called 'The Great Disruption' by Paul Gilding about how you and I can do something to help resolve these problems. It starts with giving up shopping! If we all consume less, we begin to slow down the horrendous rate of consumption of everything, and we start to value what we actually have. Quality of life, not quantity is his message.

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

Having had lunch with a friend in her bay window overlooking over a long white empty beach nearby, and then afternoon tea with a couple of friends to swap books, I hadn't really thought about what to feed us in the evening. Something quick was wanted, so I fell back on my old standby, my un-orthodox version of kedgeree, made with a tin of salmon – cheap too.

A cup of long grain rice on the boil, two eggs on the boil, half a cup each of sultanas and frozen peas soaking in boiling water, and I was ready to begin. After gently frying a chopped onion in oil until soft, I added a couple of cloves of garlic and a chopped up knob of fresh ginger (you can always use powdered, but fresh is nicer).

When the garlic is soft, sprinkle a teaspoon each of powdered cumin, turmeric and a bit less of coriander into the pan, and let them cook gently. I sometimes also use some made up curry powder as well, and vary the amounts of the spices depending on how hot I want it. Better to start with less, and increase it, than find it's burning the roof off your mouth (I have been known to add some brown sugar to take the edge off a too hot curry).

Now open the tin of salmon and drain, and add it to the mix in the frying pan. Drain the peas and sultanas and stir them in. Add a knob of butter if it needs lubricating. Drain the rice, and add this, gently stirring with lots of chopped parsley. I always find that adding another generous knob of butter improves the taste. Pile onto the plates and chop a hardboiled egg over each helping. Usual caveat - serves two greedy people generously, and three to four well-behaved people – add an egg for each person.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Lead me from death to life, from falsehood to truth.

Lead me from despair to hope, from fear to trust.

Lead me from hate to love, from war to peace.

Let peace fill our hearts, our world, our universe.

No, not the prayer of St Francis of Assisi, but a translation from the Upanishads by Satish Kumar Born 1937. Jain monk, nuclear disarmament campaigner, founder of Schumacher College, in Devon, England which teaches green values and sustainability, and present editor of Resurgence magazine

BLOGGER'S COMPLEXES

Do you have Bloggers License, a friend asked, querying something I'd written.

No, that was exactly how it happened I answered. I thought about this. As I complete three months worth of Blogging, I can see some patterns. As far as I can see, Bloggers write the truth, and nothing but the truth, but not necessarily the whole truth, in the interests of good taste, and other people's feelings.

So for me, Bloggers License is being able to choose to write what we want and when we want- unlike the grindstone of journalism.

Bloggers Temptation is to write too much and too often for followers to keep up.

Bloggers Fatigue is to get behind with reading other people's Blogs, and failing therefore to keep the other half of the Bloggers Contract - I engage to encourage you in the same way that you never fail to encourage me.

Bloggers Heaven is to open the computer and find Likes and Comments and Followings sprinkled like confetti all over the Inbox, and winking through all those other Blogs waiting to be read and enjoyed. Bloggers Heaven is also looking at Stats and seeing not just a high spike, but a lofty plateau of readers every day. If only.

Bloggers Hell is to open the computer and find nothing but other Blogs, and then open Stats and find only a dribble of readers. Hell, indeed.

Bloggers Hell leads to Bloggers Despair. Feeling that I am a failure. Feeling that I have nothing of value to say to the world. The world does not want to hear what I have to say. The world is passing me by. I write because I love it, but this is like starving in a garret with no-one to appreciate my literary gems...

Blogger's World is a place where everyone writes grammatical, entertaining, interesting, inspiring prose or poetry. Subjects may cover personal highs and lows, current affairs, beauty, politics, history, spirituality or any other topics which intrigue, amuse, or engage the Blogger. Many Bloggers have a passion which they communicate, or a long running project, like the Camino Trail, getting a book or a play published, running a farm, or reading the Complete Works of Shakespeare. Most people (except me) have a theme which people know to expect when they visit a Blogger's web-site. And there are also Bloggers who share their wonderful photography, the sort of artistry that I drag into the To Keep box.

Bloggers seem to have common characteristics. They seem to be intelligent, often committed to preserving the environment, devoted to animals and concerned with social justice. They are sincere and witty and have a sense of fun. Bloggers notice and enjoy the small things in life. Many enjoy the good things in life, like food, beauty, flowers, music, gardens, architecture and antiques. They are uniformly courteous, kind, committed to high ideals, and often to spiritual growth. If anyone asks for help, they are swamped with responses from Bloggers who really care. Bloggers are good people.

I wonder if Bloggers are the cutting edge of the wave of the new consciousness that the world needs to move to another level of thought and awareness. It's awareness and commitment that the world needs in order to move to the next stage of our civilisation and growth. It's only by thought that we'll solve the problems that challenge us to take the next step, and it seems to me that Bloggers are the sort of people who each take individual responsibility for their corner of the world – themselves. So the Bloggers World is a sort of alternative new world that we inhabit.

Bloggers End: this is a situation that few of us know anything about – much the same as we know little about our passing into the next world. There is little research into the demise of the Blogger. Do she just fade out, obliterate the Blog (how?), just stop clicking on Like, or stop writing the Blog? These are all huge questions that every Blogger will one day face. But until this great Unknown state of consciousness overtakes us, we don't know the answers. And will we ever? If Bloggers stop communicating how will we ever know? Will some brave soul send back messages from the other world, that cruel world where people scoff at Bloggers? There are still unsolved riddles even in the great World of Blogging.

(Bloggers Nightmare – a private one, that only unskilled bloggers would know about. It's given this Blogger a few nights broken sleep: the fear that she's letting all the other Bloggers down who've nominated her for Awards. Until she masters the medium she's lagging behind in acknowledging the Awards, fulfilling the conditions and posting the Awards that demonstrate the encouragement, acceptance and approval of her peers. She's presumptuously banking on the generosity of Bloggers to bear with her till she gets the hang of it all. She's also longing to be able to dangle these medals alongside her Blog)

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

There were two bananas sitting in the fruit bowl in a state of perfect ripeness - just a few brown spots on their golden curves, indicating that they were ready to eat. It seemed a shame not to enjoy them at this peak moment of their prime, so though we rarely have a pudding in the interests of our weight, I couldn't resist these perfect specimens. It only takes a few minutes to create a delectable banana pudding. I offered my husband a banana split, the banana sliced down the middle, spread with raspberry jam, cream poured over, and a dollop of ice-cream if he wished.

The alternative was my choice, the banana sliced down the middle and then cut in two, gently fried in butter, brown sugar and cream and a tot of Jamaica rum poured into it. This hot concoction served with good quality ice-cream is this blogger's heaven. My husband went for the first option. I pitied him.

If I was serving this to guests, I would also give them a little crisp biscuit to eat with it, for the sake of texture.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Sometimes I don't want to think. I want to laugh. I love this foodie joke from my childhood. It's by Ogden Nash.

I always eat my peas with honey

I've done it all my life.

They do taste kind of funny,

But it keeps them on the knife.

BOOKS THAT TAUGHT US THE SECRET OF LIFE

As I listened to the Whiffenpoofs Yale choir singing " As I was young and foolish", at their concert last night, I thought: I know about that! I was twelve in 1950 when we were given a lecture during science on human reproduction. It was very boring, nine tenths of it was a film about rabbits , and the last tenth was a diagram of stick figures with arrows demonstrating that the sperm passed from the man to the woman.

"Any questions?" said the science mistress at the end of this, in a very repressive voice, to which I was totally insensitive. I pressed brashly on. "Yes, how did it get from the man to the woman", I asked? "You should have watched the film." she snapped, as the whole class took a deep collective in-breath. "But I did", I protested. End of lesson. It didn't really matter, I was more pre-occupied with Baroness Orxy's 'The Scarlet Pimpernel' at that stage... "they seek him here, they seek him there...."

A year later I got the lowdown on the rudiments of human reproduction in the school train. Rude was what it seemed to me, and I looked with utter distaste at the forty year old English master whose wife was having a baby. How could an elderly man like him - I thought to myself – how could he?

The next step in my education was the publication of Nevil Shute's 'A Town Like Alice', which was the subject of hushed talk in the Lower Fourth. Most people think it's about a couple who fall in love during their brutal imprisonment by the Japanese. But we weren't interested in that. There were two sentences in this book which riveted us. The couple found each other after the war, and went off on holiday to try to re-capture their original feelings. One night she wore a sarong like the one she'd worn in Malaya, and this did the trick apparently. We read with bated breath the words: "Did what I think happened last night really happen?" and read with some horror, her reply: "Well, I'm covered in bruises." This was puzzling on several counts. What on earth goes on, we pondered.

Thomas Hardy's "'Tess of the Durbervilles' was the next heroine who furthered my general knowledge on this rather arcane subject back then. I discovered from this book that human reproduction was a very risky business which in Tess's case, led from seduction to unwanted pregnancy, a husband who abandoned her on their honeymoon when she told him, and then the seducer rescuing Tess from poverty and despair, until the husband popped up again. In her rage she stabs the wretched seducer, and ends up being hanged. Not a good look for ignorant teenagers searching for information.

But it came in a much more attractive package when I was at boarding school. This blue book was wrapped in brown paper so that none of the teachers knew we had it. It was furtively passed around the senior girls' dormitory, and I was at the end of the line, being the most recent arrival. Finally I got to the pages of Frank Yerby's 'The Foxes of Harrow' which were causing all the excitement. I discovered from this sex manual that women could be frigid – what on earth was that? And the hero of this tale - if hero he could be called - got so fed-up with his frigid wife that he packed her off to town to be de-fridged by a sort of white witch, who was actually a black American.

When she returned to her home, and expectant husband, they both couldn't wait to get up to the bedroom, where the husband stripped off her clothes as fast as he could. But his patience gave out when he fumbled with her pearl necklace, and to our collective relish, he ripped it apart, and priceless pearls cascaded unheeded around the bedroom. Wow, we all thought! You don't wear jewellery in bed! This couple too, seemed to have had a rough ride, because in the morning, one or other of them had a back which had, in the words of the story, been "raked" by fingernails. Hell's teeth! as my father would have said.

Finally 'Gone with The Wind' fell into my eager hands. Not much sex here, but a manual on childbirth for me. Melanie Wilkes giving birth while Atlanta burned around her, and stifling her groans of agony by wringing her hands on a knotted towel stayed with me. Melanie became my role model in my own extremity.

When I gave birth to my first child, having moved house as an army wife, and slipped through the cracks any ante-natal classes - if indeed they existed then - I only had Melanie's example to guide me. I lay on my bed of pain, sunk into the deepest, blackest pit, suppressing my groans like Melanie had done. Somewhere high up above me I heard the midwife say to my husband you might as well go home, she's asleep.

So off he went, and I didn't see him for another six months. When I was wheeled back to my room in the morning, there was a brief telegram:" Gone to Cyprus". The unspoken other half of this communication was "to be shot at by Greeks and Turks." His regiment had been bundled off to Cyprus to quell another insurrection.

We were too young to qualify for army allowances, so back home, sans money, family, neighbours, phone and car - since I couldn't drive the one holed up in the garage - I needed help. I turned to Dr Spock.

Pregnant again as soon as the husband returned unharmed by Greeks or Turks, for the next few years the only book I read was Dr Benjamin Spock's child rearing manual, as I wrestled with colic and constipation, solids and sleep deprivation. And since then, the raunchy reading of my youth hasn't had the same allure. We called them Blue books back then, thought they probably weren't, and I can't see me thumbing through 'Fifty Shades of Grey' now... especially since a survey has shown that a surprisingly large number of readers never bother to read to the end!

Dr Spock, on the other hand, I read from cover to cover. Not once but many times, hoping to enlighten my ignorance on how to cope with babies. But really, I needed more than Dr Spock, just as I needed more than Melanie.

RECIPE FOR THREADBARE GOURMETS

Yesterday I ran out of time and ingredients, and was feeling guilty that I'd been out two nights running leaving the old chap with a cold meal. One night at a concert listening to The Whiffenpoofs, the Yale Choir, and last night, Tai Chi. So I felt I had to cook, and though this is a real threadbare meal, it's one we love. You need a cup of long grain rice, well washed, and put on to boil with two scant cups of boiling water, salt, three cloves and quarter to half a teaspoon of cinnamon.

Clamp the lid on tightly and boil on as low as possible for twenty minutes. Then pull off the heat and leave covered for another ten minutes. Meanwhile gently fry one or two onions, and two cups of chopped celery, adding several cloves of chopped garlic towards the end. At this stage I either chop up some cooked chicken, open a tin of shrimps, or fish out some frozen prawns, and stir whatever it is into the onion mixture. Allowing an egg per person, and this amount of rice is probably enough for four reasonable people – beat them lightly and stir into the pan for fifty seconds. Then add the rice, gently stirring to mix it all up. Eat immediately with some green salad. (Just don't try to eat the cloves.)

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white. Neither need you do anything but be yourself.

Lao-Tse Ancient Chinese philosopher, author of the Tao Te Ching, and considered to be the founder of Taoism.

HAPPINESS IS OUR BIRTHRIGHT

I was sitting in my favourite coffee place perversely enjoying a cup of hot chocolate when a young man walked in, carrying his year old baby girl.

As he waited in the queue I saw him drop a kiss on the baby's head, and I thought to myself, she's going to be alright. I'd just finished writing a story for a parenting magazine, about bringing up emotionally stable children. I'd turned it round to write a headline, happy children become stable and intelligent people.

Because it's easy for parents to think they have to be perfect, I made the point that it's loving parents who take the time to listen and to remember the golden rule about doing to others as you wish to be done to you, who make the difference...

We all want to be comforted when we're miserable, to be heard when we say something, to enjoy the company of those we love, to have enough to eat and drink and get enough sleep – which is exactly what babies need – they are people too!

But the really important thing for people to know is that cuddling is the answer to all the ills of mankind! Modern research has shown that when babies are happy, talked too, sung too, cuddled, included, have lots of eye contact, what are known in neuropsychology as the " the hormones of loving connection" nourish the brain and stimulate the growth of connections in the regions of the brain concerned with regulating emotions. The simple things that loving parents do with their babies, help them to become considerate, loving and confident people from the very beginning.

This nourishment for the emotional centres of the growing brain makes children feel secure and happy, and means they tend to be more independent, confident, more resilient, empathetic and caring. Children who are comforted when they're upset, grow up knowing that nothing is really a disaster, so they are the ones who don't panic or go into despair when things go wrong. Because they learned when they were little that everything passes, they can cope. Adults who didn't get this sort of supportive parenting tend to re-act to stress with in-appropriate behaviours like flying off the handle, losing their temper, blaming other people, or going into despair and depression -because they grew up with a lot of fear and no faith that life would support them.

This is other side of the coin - the research which has shown what most mothers instinctively know, that it's bad for babies to be left to cry. Imagine being tiny and helpless, unable to move or speak, with crying our only way to get attention when we're hungry, frightened, lonely or whatever, and we can begin to imagine the panic and powerlessness of a baby left to cry. And if we knew that the person we relied on was there, but ignoring us, we'd feel even more abandoned and hopeless. We'd learn that we can't trust the people we love and need.

Researchers now know that when a baby is left to cry, cortisol levels rise in the brain. If the baby is lovingly comforted after a stressful incident, the body absorbs the excess cortisol. But if the stress happens regularly the cortisol levels remain high and become toxic to the brain cells. Cortisol can cause damage to the emotional centres of the brain, and if this happens regularly children grow up prone to anxiety, anger and depression. The old advice to leave a baby to cry has meant many insecure and sad children.

Psychologists now feel that this deprivation of loving attention, comfort and understanding of a baby is responsible for many problems in older children – problems ranging from ADHD, depression, panic attacks, phobias, eating disorders, anxiety and substance abuse. So children and young adults with these problems are not innately troublesome or born with a pre-disposition to these problems. They simply didn't get enough emotional food for the brain- those hormones of loving connection.

All of which means: cuddling is good for babes, crying is bad for them – and the same applies to us all. If you've ever cried yourself to sleep from misery, and felt that awful depression when you wake up un-refreshed, you'll know how it is for far too many babies – simply because their mothers don't know.

If we saw a ten year old sitting and crying while we were chatting and having coffee, we'd ask her what the matter was. But if it's a baby crying, too often we simply ignore him. So I make it my life's work to admire people's babies in the supermarket or elsewhere, and then say: you know the more you cuddle him, the happier and the cleverer he'll be, and if they're interested, explain. Often young mothers react with huge relief, as though they've been given permission to cuddle as much as they want. (They may also say what a boring old bat, when I've gone!)

Maybe we could change the world if we all cuddled our babies, and rushed to comfort a crying one. No more sad and miserable children getting punished for behaviour they don't understand and then growing into depressed or angry adults, taking it out on the world which felt so harsh to them when they were babies. And we could all do with lots more hormones of loving connection, too.

And then maybe when we all have enough of them, Love will at last prevail.

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

Out for lunch today, so we just needed a light supper. Leeks are still cheap and plentiful, so leeks it was tonight. Take enough leeks for two – they vary in size so much, that it's easier to estimate your own. Butter an ovenproof dish, split the leeks lengthways and lay them in the dish. Alternatively cut them into inch-length chunks. Stir 300 gm of freshly grated Parmesan cheese into 400 mls of thick cream. Pour this over the leeks and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Bake for thirty minutes or more, until the leeks are cooked and the cream is bubbling.

Meanwhile hard- boil an egg per person and chop them up. Scatter the eggs over the leeks, and cover with more grated parmesan. Put the dish back in the oven for about five minutes until the cheese has melted, and then give it a quick grill to brown the top.

Serve with crusty bread and some salad.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

I am as young as the most beautiful wish in my heart, and as old as the unfulfilled longings in my life.

A saying of the pygmy Kalahari Desert Bushmen in Africa

RAMBLING THROUGH YOUTUBE

I had the haunting Irish tune of 'Down By The Salley Gardens' on my mind and turned to lovely YouTube. I did the rounds, Kathleen Ferrier - sublime, Orla Fallon – beautiful, Marianne Faithful – shallow, and Clannad, singing authentically in an Irish pub – haunting, wistful, and satisfying. And as I flitted from one version to the next, I stumbled on William Butler Yeats himself, reading his poem (which was based on an old Irish folk song).

It was magic listening to the real voice of the poet, and reminded me what a gift recording is. I never had much time for Yeats in his monocle and black cloak, who left Wilfred Owen out of the Oxford Book of English Verse because he suspected Owen of pacifist sympathies. Yeats, in his fifties, didn't fight in the war, but Owen was in the trenches for the whole four years, writing the finest war poetry, and dying in an attack across a canal in the last week of the war. So Yeats, born in 1865, doesn't do it for me, but to hear his voice, echoing across time was still a thrill.

On the sidebar, there was Virginia Woolf reading on the BBC in 1939, a year before she walked into the river, and never came back. It's the only recording we have of her. I clicked – of course -and listened to this wonderful voice reading her thoughts on words, entranced as her imagination soared and she opened new worlds of ideas. Her beautiful diction and resonant tones gave an idea of the layers of meaning and perception that she applied to life and art.

Then Alan Rickman showed up at the side, reading Shakespeare's sonnets. Hearing that mellifluous voice, reading the cadences of Shakespeare's phrases and innermost thoughts was so moving. But since Harry Potter is never far from us these days, there was Rickman also in his role as Severus Snape. And once hooked into the world of Harry Potter, I couldn't go past Emma Thompson as Sybil Trelawny in a scene which has never been shown, as it was cut. Shame. I laughed till the tears ran down my face as she tried to eat her meal in a state of total panic and confusion – doesn't sound funny, I know, but you haven't seen it.

I was watching, of course, a master, as were Rickman, Woolf and Yeats. Watching or hearing a master is an experience which stirs the soul. Sitting at a concert of Joan Sutherland , every time she came on stage and that glorious sound rang out, the tears just rolled down my cheeks. Listening to Yehudi Menuhin was like entering a mysterious world of spirit; and sitting motionless, holding my breath, as Kathleen Battle, in black with a cyclamen pink stole about fifteen feet long, sang to a packed hall of spellbound concertgoers is one of my treasured memories.

Masters reveal a world of universal connections, and seeing a Leonardo or a Michelangelo takes us into that same world of universal values of beauty and truth. But one of the favourite books on my shelf is a collection of sonnets written to a woman he loved, by Michelangelo, and I love them precisely because he wasn't a great poet, as he was a great artist. In his poetry he shows the side of him that struggles with the same ordinariness - or perhaps I mean common humanity - as the rest of us. As an amateur poet, he is exposed in these poems, while in the mastery of his art, it's his greatness that we see.

So while I am awed by, and grateful for mastery, there is something very beautiful about amateurishness. Many years ago, on New Year's Eve at a party in Somerset, I had struggled all evening to look as though I was having fun with a group of people I didn't know, and had nothing in common with. I was staying with friends, who had taken me with them. As midnight approached, we all gathered in the main hall of the castle, and a man asked if there was anyone who could accompany him on the piano. With no takers, he said he'd sing anyway. I cringed, wondering if he would embarrass himself.

And so began one of the loveliest moments of my life. He sang 'My love is like a red, red rose'. Not professionally, but honestly and lovingly. All our egos which had jostled and struggled to keep their ends up all evening stood transfixed. A long silence followed the ending of the song, and there was a softness in the room and on the faces everyone. The evening changed. His courage in exposing himself to us all had somehow broken the barriers that separated us. Warmth and kindness showed in every face.

I've heard another song sung like that in a voice that had no training, and nothing to recommend it except sweetness of tone, and sweetness of character. And it was just as moving. So while mastery is a sublime experience, the love and honesty that we lesser mortals have to offer, is just as precious in its own way.

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

If we're having something ordinary to eat, and I need to give it a bit of a lift, I make our family favourite, culled years ago, from the pages of Elizabeth David. I only used to make it at Christmas, for the adults, but one memorable year, the grandchildren discovered it, and gobbled it up under the affronted and greedy gaze of all the adults. So now I make about three dishes of it, and there is a great big potato peeling bee on Christmas Eve, and some of the children eschew the turkey, plumping for the potatoes, and only moving on to the rest of the feast later. If there's any left over, they eat them for breakfast! So I always make it now when the family come, and often for dressy meals with friends.

All you need are potatoes, garlic and lashings of cream. I use Agria potatoes, which mash well, and also in this dish, absorb the cream. Slice the potatoes thinly into rounds, and pat them dry. Butter a shallowish baking dish, and layer the potatoes in, every now and then anointing the layers with salt and pepper, chopped garlic and a few knobs of butter. When the dish is nearly filled, dot the top with butter and pour in as much cream as you need to nearly cover the potatoes. Bake for an hour or more in a moderate oven. If the cream has dried up by the end, I pour more into the crevices, and put it back in the oven for a few minutes. It can be cooked the day before and re-heated, but give it plenty of time. It's delicious with any meal, and with a few vegetables is also a lovely vegetarian meal.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Ad from a father on Trademe:

One toothpick with a FREE son included (I'm sure there is some law which forbids me trafficking in humans, hence the toothpick)...being a teenager he requires large amounts of food (meat and candy mostly, despite the fridge being full of fruit and veg.) Uses power enough to run a small town (computer, TV, PlayStation and assorted electrical gadgets as well as always leaving the fridge door open) Unfortunately he is short-sighted and unable to see unwashed dishes, grime, towels on the floor or skid marks. Requires 14 hours of sleep per day. Needs a soundproof room as he either slaughters pigs in there or plays heavy metal (sounds the same to me)

Don't suppose he managed to get rid of him... there's a glut of teenage boys like this, I suspect.

WHALES, WINE AND WOMEN

The plum tree outside the kitchen window is smothered in tiny pink blossoms. Yesterday bees were snuffling in it, scattering petals like pale confetti all over the steps and courtyard. Two monarch butterflies chased each other through the blossom, and a couple of tuis, ruffling their white neck ties, sucked the honey and plunged around from bird bath to plum tree, chasing each other in their spring mating games.

Today the tree is empty, but the wind has blown the blossom over the garden, so it looks like snowflakes, and the tree is like a white lace veil hanging in front of the window. In spite of the cloudy skies, there is a sort of glow in the garden from the scattered petals and the light filtering through this tree. A couple of greenery yallery silver-eyes tweeting to each other are the only birds left, for a storm blew in over-night, and there is nothing now but the sound of the wind in the trees, and the roar of the breakers crashing onto the rocks in our little bay below. The water pours over the rocks like spilled milk, the bay is boiling with white foam, and the rain falls steadily. Spring flowers are beginning to push their way up, a few camellias, lots of cyclamen, some marguerite daisies, and a few roses on the scented Jean Ducher, which escaped the heavy pruning they had a few weeks ago.

Yesterday I picked two long pink sprays of cymbidium orchids, and two more heavily flowered gold and red orchids from the garden, and stood them in two separate tall glass vases. First I had to shake lots of tiny wood cockroaches out of the flowers, and catch the ones that made it inside, in my glass spider catcher to take them outside again. (The spider catcher is actually a clear glass vase with a stiff cardboard birthday card to slide underneath)

But best of all is the news which has sped round the village that some Southern Right whales have been seen. They've been making their way up the coast, and were seen in the bay further south, and are now heading up towards the bay north of us – a mother, nudging her calf along on the journey. They swim very slowly, their top speed being about nine kilometres an hour, but with a calf, this mother would probably have been a lot slower. They usually keep close to the coast, on their way from the Antarctic to the warmer feeding and breeding grounds around the Pacific, but tend to stay further south from us, so they've been watched with love all their way up the coast.

There are more Southern Right whales left than other species, and they can grow up to 59 feet long, and weigh 90 tons. Not much is known about them, but a North Atlantic whale was seen and recognised from her distinctive markings in 1935, 1959, 1980, 1985, 1992, and lastly in 1995 with a bad head wound, probably from a ship – which means that she was at least 70 years old at last sighting.

I have a friend who as a little girl used to holiday in the bay next to ours. Her father was teaching her to row. She awoke one morning and looking out of the window, saw the bay was full of basking whales. She grabbed some clothes, ran down to the beach and jumped in the rowing boat. She rowed out to the whales and sat among them rocking in the water, until her father appeared and called her back in. I envy her that memory.

Whalers used to go for these slow moving creatures, who swam so close in, as they were easy to catch. At Lord Howe Island, where the whales had been travelling to breed for millions of years, they finally stopped coming after they'd been so savagely hunted in the 19th century. It makes me sad to think of it.

So this great Southern Right is a treasured visitor. I stand outside the french doors in the blustery wind, savouring the roar of the sea below, and wondering what other creatures of the deep are moving around there on the floor of the ocean, unbeknown to us. We haven't seen our little pod of dolphins for a while, but popping in on a friend who lives overlooking another harbour, she told me she'd spent the whole morning watching them leaping and playing down below. So good news, they're still around.

But the sad news for me - and our local wood pigeons - is that our loquat tree which grows beside our veranda, seems to have some sort of blight and the fruit haven't set this year. I normally lie in bed and watch the huge wood pigeons - three times the size of the English wood pigeon - lumber in at the angle of a jumbo jet and sit chomping through the golden fruit, while the tree shakes with their exertions. The whole fruit slides lumpily down their bronze green throats and then sinks into their swelling white breasts. The Maoris, and then the settlers, used to eat them and catch them in thousands, but like the Southern Right whales, they too nearly became extinct, and are now protected. So no fruit for the pigeons this year. I try not to worry about what they will find instead.

But as I write this and the rain falls gently, and a blackbird bursts into song, I suddenly think to myself why do I worry?

I remember the exquisite words of the wonderful Indian mystic Kabir:

What kind of God would He be

If He did not hear the

Bangles ring on

An ant's wrist

As they move the earth

In their sweet dance?

And what kind of God would He be

If a leaf's prayer was not as precious to Creation

As the prayer His own son sang...

(translated by Daniel Ladinsky)

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

Omar Khayyam sang of a jug of wine, a loaf of bread – and Thou. Well, I didn't have Thou, but I had Friend at the end of a busy week, and I suggested the wine, the bread and some imported French camembert cheese (try not to feel guilty about the food miles) just for us girls (a metaphor). So out with the best crystal glasses, a good bottle of pinot gris, cheese at the perfect stage of melt and the warm bread, and we were laughing – the best fare of all.

Sometimes we threadbare gourmets just have to give it all away and put our feet up with nothing but the best.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

' _Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realise that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.'_

Ronald Reagan at a conference in Los Angeles in March 1977.

He also said: "You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans." Very true if you know what you're looking for!

TRAVELS IN FOODIE HEAVEN

Food was not a topic of much joy in my childhood. Green ration books for us children, cream ones for adults. If you went shopping without them, it was a waste of time, and you had to get a bus back home to pick them up and start all over again, standing at the back of the queue at every shop.

The biggest foodie thrill I can remember back then was the one orange a year, stuffed in the bottom of my Christmas stocking. Things looked up slightly on my tenth birthday, the first one I had ever spent with my father. (I was ten months old when he went to war in 1939, returning for two weeks leave in 1945, before finally coming home in 1947. But we only saw him for a month before he was posted to Belsen). We had qualified for an army quarter by the time my birthday arrived, and had joined him. To my parents' horror it was the former home of the Beast of Belsen, the sadistic commandant of the concentration camp.

Knowing nothing of this, I concentrated on my birthday. My new parents took me for a treat to the Officers Club. The palace of the Princes of Hanover now served as the Officers Mess, where we children were allowed for the children's Christmas party, held in the marble, chandeliered ballroom, with satin and gilt chairs to fall over during musical chairs. And the Prince's hunting lodge deep in pine forests running with deer and wild boar, was now the Officers Club. The speciality of the German couple who ran it was their sugary doughnuts with butter cream and jam inside (Had the Hanoverian princelings also enjoyed these goodies before us?) I had never tasted anything like them -the nearest thing to heaven in my gastronomically deprived childhood. This may have been the moment when I became a foodie.

The next high point in my foodie career was staying in Vienne in central France a few years later. We were still on rationing in England at the time, and the rich French provincial food was a shock to my spartan system. But here I discovered real French bread. It was brought up from the village to the chateau by one of the maids every day, fresh and warm for breakfast. And in the afternoon a fresh supply was delivered to the kitchen by a boy on a bike. We children would gather illegally in the kitchen and annoy the maids by tearing into the warm bread and eating it with delectable runny confiture dripping onto the floor.

Malaya was the next foodie milestone. We lived in a hotel on the edge of the sea in Penang for over a year, and ate in a dining room reminiscent of the forecourt of St Pauls Cathedral. Great pillars stretched the length of the ballroom. We walked this length between palms and pillars three times a day for every meal, and subsided at the end of it in the dining area, still pillared and palmed. We ate the same meals every week, in the same order and my favourite day was Friday when we had nasi goring, the only nod in the direction of the local cuisine. I've tried to get Malayan friends to replicate it, I've tried myself, but nothing has ever had the same texture, tastes, variety and delicacy. I can copy most of the culinary joys of the past, but that one has proved impossible – it's just a fragrant regretted memory.

In Majorca, when few people had even heard of it, and a little fishing village called Cala Ratjada, we stayed in the first hotel to be built there, (there are now over fifty) which they were just finishing, and the water for the shower came speeding through the bidet, and the hand basin only had water in short bursts. But down by the sea was a fish restaurant, and there I tasted two foodie classics, a genuine paella, and a lobster salad which is still fresh in my memory. I was beginning to sensitise my taste buds.

France a year later, this time a hamlet somewhere between San Tropez and Le Lavandou, where every meal eaten under the vine covered terrace was like ambrosia – never a dud. My lasting memories of this bliss were the fresh croissants for breakfast with unsalted butter and delicious homemade apricot jam, and aioli. Eating aioli was like discovering the secret of culinary life - the simplicity of it, the exquisiteness of it, the white china, the perfect egg, the salad and the aioli. I decided there and then that I'd learn to make it when I had my own kitchen. (Living in an officers mess didn't give me much scope for cooking experiments at the time.)

Later that year, driving back from Bonn with a girlfriend, we stopped at Aix (shades of "How they brought the good news from Aix to Ghent!") for a coffee. We ordered rum babas and though it was fifty years ago, I can still remember the shocked delight at the taste of the rum and the cream and the yeasty cake. They were a benchmark for all rum babas eaten since, and none of them have measured up to the rum babas of Aix. We sat by a river in the sun, with dappled leaves reflected in the water, tall, grey eighteenth century buildings lining the other side of the road.

The next foodie revelation was staying with an old school friend in Winchester, who had become a talented cook in one year of marriage. We started the meal with shrimps in mayonnaise in half a pear, a very 50's thingie and followed this with roast duck and orange. By the time we got to the crème brulee poor Brenda had fled the room to cope with not morning sickness, but evening sickness. Her husband and I somewhat unconcernedly tackled the delicious crème brulee she had left behind. I'd never tasted it before, cream not having been freely available in my past, so this was another taste bud sensation. To this day I can't go past crème brulee however much I may have eaten beforehand.

Hong Kong? Oh yes, lots of lovely Chinese dishes, but what I remember from those days was the bombe Alaska at a place called Jimmy's Kitchen. A girl friend and I would nip out from the office at lunchtime and order a bombe Alaska each. Fortified by this self-indulgent mix of sponge and fruit and ice-cream, brandy and meringue, we would totter reluctantly back to the office to resume writing our boring little stories about fashion parades and new cosmetics for the woman's pages.

So now, after a lifetime of enjoying food, here in New Zealand, land of milk and manuka honey, what gluttonous delights light my fire? Well, there are two things I cannot live without these days. One is a nice cup of tea. And the other is a nice cup of coffee!

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

When the crusty Duke of Wellington came back from his campaigns in foreign parts, legend has it that all he wanted was a slice of hot buttered toast. What he was talking about was comfort food, and it's different for each of us. Mine is cornflakes if I'm on my uppers, or creamy mashed potatoes, or scrambled egg. My husband believes that scrambled egg is the apex of my culinary skills, but others have been known to recoil in horror clutching their hearts, when they discover how many eggs and how much butter and cream have gone into them!

For your run of the mill ordinary breakfast scrambled egg, I use a generous sized walnut of butter, and about two tablespoons of milk. I melt them, and then break the eggs in and stir to mix. The trick is to have the buttered toast ready, and then stir the scrambled egg in the pan very gently so it forms large curds. Cook it very slowly, if it's cooked too fast, it becomes stringy, tough and watery. As soon as the curds are almost cooked, I tip it onto the waiting toast, as it still goes on setting while it's hot. For softer, creamier scrambled eggs, add more butter and use cream – delectable.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

' _Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its labourers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children.'_

From a speech in Washington in 1953, by President Dwight. D. Eisenhower 1890 -1969

WHEN ELEPHANTS WEPT AND GORILLAS DANCED

A few weeks ago in heavy rain in the South Island, a kiwi's nest was threatened by floods pouring through its enclosure. The male and female kiwi had been conscientiously nursing their egg, a precious one, since they are an endangered species.

As the water began surge through, threatening to wash their nest and egg away, the male kiwi sprang into action. He seized twigs and grass and any materials he could find to stuff under the nest to raise it above water level. Outside, conservation staff began digging drainage too.

What this told me is that that kiwi father understood the principles of engineering. Knowing that by levering his nest up with whatever he could find, he could try to save his offspring. He did.

The week before, I had seen some amazing pictures in an English newspaper. Two gorillas who had been born in a zoo and had grown up together, were parted, when the elder was sent to another zoo for a breeding programme. After three years, coming to the conclusion that the giant black gorilla was infertile, the zoo decided to send him back to join his brother, who during this time had been shuttled off to another zoo.

The pictures were of their re-union. Recognising each other straight away, they ran to each other, making sounds, hugging each other, rolling on the ground together in ecstasy, and dancing with joy.

What this told me is that separating animals and shunting them around to zoos and breeding programmes is as cruel as it was to break up slave families and sell mothers away from their children, and split up fathers and brothers in the days before Abolition. I read many years ago of a woman who decided to make feta cheese, and began breeding a small flock of sheep. As each generation was born, mothers, grannies, great grannies and children all remained in their family groups, and when she banged on the pail each day to gather them in for milking, they came in their family groups.

And yet we take lambs and calves from their mothers all the time, and foals from their mothers to race them as yearlings before their bones have matured, which is why so many young racehorses come to grief. Horses are not fully grown for six to seven years. Treating animals with no regards to their rights is called speciesism, a term coined by Australian philosopher and animal campaigner Peter Singer. He likens it to sexism, and racism.

In March this year, legendary conservationist Lawrence Anthony died in Africa. He was known as 'The Elephant Whisperer'. He had learned to calm and heal traumatized elephants who were sent to Thula Thula where he lived. The first herd arrived enraged from the death of a mother and her calf. The fifteen year old son of the dead mother charged him and his rangers, trumpeting his rage, his mother and baby sister having been shot in front of his eyes; a heartbreakingly brave teenager, defending his herd.

The traumatised elephants were herded into an enclosure to keep them safe until they were calm enough to move out into the reserve. The huge matriarch gathered her clan, and charged the electric fence, getting an 8,000-volt. She stepped back, and with the family in tow strode round the entire perimeter, checking for vibrations from the electric current. That night, the herd somehow found the generator, trampled it, pulled out the concrete embedded posts like matchsticks, and headed out, in danger from waiting poachers with guns at the ready. Recaptured, Anthony knew it was only a matter of time before they escaped again. He talked to Nana the huge matriarch, telling her they would be killed if they broke out again. He feared he would be killed too, if he didn't make a connection with them before they charged again. Momentarily he did feel a spark of connection with Nana, and then decided that the only way he could help them was to live with them and get to know them. And this was the start of many troubled elephants being brought to him for healing.

When Anthony died, there were two elephant herds in the reserve. They hadn't visited Anthony's house for eighteen months. But when he died in March, both herds made their way in single file to his house. It would have taken them about twelve hours to make the journey, one herd arriving the day after, and the second a day later. The two herds hung around the house for two days, grieving, not eating, and then made their way back into the bush.

Feminist and Fulbright scholar Rabbi Leila Gal Berner is reported as saying... 'If ever there were a time, when we can truly sense the wondrous 'interconnectedness of all beings' it is when we reflect on the elephants of Thula. A man's heart stops, and hundreds of elephant's hearts are grieving. This man's oh-so abundantly loving heart offered healing to these elephants, and now, they came to pay loving homage to their friend.'

Some years ago another herd of elephants descended on a herd of antelopes who'd been penned up preparatory to being transplanted to another part of Africa. The rangers saw this herd of elephants bearing down on them and thought they'd come to kill the antelopes. What they did was trample down the enclosure so that the antelopes could escape.

I find all these stories of animals unbearably moving, because they all illustrate intelligence, emotional depths, and extra consciousnesses that man doesn't possess. We say we are superior because we can reason – didn't the kiwi reason – because we are self conscious – has that been a blessing or a curse – because we can use tools – but many animals can, as research is now showing us \- because we have souls- why are we so sure that animals don't?

Maybe American writer Henry Beston, who wrote the classic 'The Outermost House', put it best when he wrote: 'We patronize them for their incompleteness, for their tragic fate in having taken form so far below ourselves. And therein we err, and greatly err. For the animal shall not be measured by man. In a world older and more complete than ours they live finished and complete, gifted with extension of the senses we have lost or never attained, living by voices we shall never hear. They are not brethren; they are not underlings; they are other nations, caught with ourselves in the net of life and time, fellow prisoners of the splendour and travail of the earth.'

It seems to me that it's man who has the splendour of the earth, and animals who have the travail. Maybe, as more and more of us care about them, that will change.

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

The old chap's 83rd birthday, and some of the family for lunch to celebrate. I made it an easy one, chicken breasts for them, stuffed with sausage meat and sage, and wrapped in bacon – all free range and organic. The usual, a big dish for people to help themselves - roasted parsnips, onions, potatoes boiled in their skins, and then slightly crushed with plenty of butter, spring carrots and Brussels sprouts, plus the famous mushrooms in cream, parsley and garlic instead of gravy. Pudding was easy, using the same oven, and on another shelf, I baked some apples, cored and stuffed with spoonfuls of Christmas mincemeat, placed in a dish with cream and whisky poured over. This juice is heavenly. Serve the apples with crème fraiche or ice cream and a little shortbread biscuit. It was good with coffee served at the same time.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

A friend sent me this poem, and I offer it to all my fellow bloggers:

' _..a poet/writer is someone_

Who can pour light into a spoon

And then raise it

To nourish your parched holy mouth'

Hafiz, 1315 – 1390 renowned Persian lyric poet.

LIFE'S LIKE THAT

My life, like many, is not so much a drama as a tale of tiny things. But in the end they add up to a life. This is the tale of a few days of this week.

Tuesday When I walked through the cemetery to the marble bench to sit in the sun, the grass seemed to be sprinkled with flowers like pink confetti. They were bright pink with yellow centres, the size of primroses, but only growing half an inch from the ground. I sat on the warm bench and looked over the turquoise harbour.

A monarch butterfly floated across and came to rest on the purply-blue flower of a creeper in the tangle of shrubs leading down to the water. I watched the orange and black wings spreading over the amethyst flower, and watched it lift off again, and swoop and flutter in a wide circle before coming back to the same flower. It then drifted to another flower head, before settling on the grass, presumably to digest its meal.

When it rose again in the air, it dropped down to a shrub where another monarch was already feasting. The two rose in the air, fluttering and dodging around each other, until my butterfly was driven away, and did a wide arc halfway round the cemetery, before coming back and settling on another bush.

I drifted back home, missing Cara the cat, and realising that when she had stopped coming with me but sat by the gate, and then, didn't even cross the road, but sat by our path, waiting for me to return, she wasn't being cussed – she was obviously too weak or weary in those last months to come springing across the grass with me, her tail held high, and perfectly straight.

Wednesday Went for a walk to get away from the problems besetting me in the house. I passed a monarch butterfly fluttering on the pavement. It's wings were almost completely chewed away, presumably while still in the chrysalis by a voracious praying mantis, but its head and body were intact. It lay there, fluttering the fragments of its ragged wings. I put it in the grass, and went for an illegal wander round Liz and Richard's empty beautiful garden looking over the harbour.

On my way back I looked, and the butterfly was still struggling. I nerved myself to carry it to the pavement so I could stamp on it and put it out of its misery. I laid it down, and it spread its pathetic little rags in the sun, and I had the sense that it was enjoying the sunshine. I just couldn't bring myself to stamp the life and the consciousness out of it. So I carried it gently back to the grass, and laid it in the sun.

The colours today are like summer, aquamarine sea, and snowy white foam as the waves dash onto the rocks below. The sun shines, and a bitter wind blows. It seems to have been cold for weeks, so we're chomping through the walls of logs piled up in the garage.

It was hard to go out tonight, but I'm glad I did. Our monthly meeting when people talk about their life. Journeys, we call them. A woman who lives nearby told us how she had dissolved her three generation family business in fashion, and looked for somewhere in the world to serve. She ended up teaching in a Thai monastery, where her experiences there and at various healing sanctuaries were life- changing. She was glowing.

Thursday Another bitterly cold day with the sun shining brightly. But the oak tree is shimmering with its new spring green, the crab apple has pink buds peeping out, and nasturtium and arctotis are beginning to spring up in their lovely untidy sprawl through the other greenery. A clutch of tuis are sucking the honey in the golden kowhai trees across the road. They are all covered thickly in their hanging yellow flowers along the roadside, and always seem like the heralds of spring.

Yesterday I got my sweet cleaning lady to help me rip down the white sheets which serve as a canopy on the veranda in summer. Haven't had the strength in my arthritic hands to do it myself. I'll wash them and use them to cover things in the garage – not sure what, but there's bound to be something that will benefit. She told me the four ducklings she'd rescued sit cuddled up to each other at night and cheep for ages. " I'd love to know what they're saying to each other"....

Before going to Tai Chi, I rang Friend to thank her for lunch on Sunday, and found her devastated. They'd taken Smudge the cat to the vet because he's dribbling blood and saliva. He has cancer of the jaw, and they've brought him home to try to eke out a few more weeks with him....

Tai Chi was freezing in the scouts hall. Coldest night for a long time. I noticed how pinched all our frozen old faces were by the end – and even the few young ones!

Friday I rang Friend, she was struggling to get the cushion covers off the sofa, where Smudge had taken refuge from the icy night. They were covered in blood and saliva, so I promised to get my sheets from the veranda washed and dried by tonight so that she can drape them over the two sofas. Then took her for a consolatory coffee at the Market, where we gorged ourselves on good coffee and delicious lemon cake well blanketed in whipped cream... so much for diabetes and arthritis!

As I was writing this, I heard the noise of many children all chattering at once. Got up to look out of the window to see why, and saw two little girls making their way down the steps. I got to the door as they did, and was assailed by both of them talking at once as loud as they could. They were collecting for an animal charity, and the commotion was simply two seven year olds talking at once, and neither listening to the other. I emptied my purse of change and they went on their way well pleased.

So this is life, what happens between getting up to make a cup of tea to take back to bed in the morning, checking the e-mails and reading blogs, keeping the fire piled high with dry logs, and going back to that warm bed at night, with the electric blanket on high, a tray of tea for last thing, and a good book!

This is the raw material, and whether we make a silk purse out of it, or see it as a sow's ear, it's up to us. It can be satisfying or it can be boring, but the choice is ours. But as I go through my gratitude list at night before slipping into sleep, there seems much to thank the God of Small Things for.

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

Friends dropped in for glass of wine, and apart from a tin of olives stuffed with anchovies, which is a waste of good olives and anchovies to me, I had nothing for the wine to soak into. (I've taken to heart the advice to always have a few bites of something first, so the sugar in the wine doesn't go straight into the blood stream. I also find the wine tastes much nicer if it isn't sipped on an empty stomach). A dash to the village shop, and I came home with a little pack of the cheapest blue vein cheese, and a carton of cream cheese. Mixed together they make a lovely spread on little chunks of crusty roll, or any good water biscuit. It was enough.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

' _We thank God then, for the pleasures, joys and triumphs of marriage; for the cups of tea we bring each other, and the seedlings in the garden frame; for the domestic drama of meetings and partings, sickness and recovery; for the grace of occasional extravagance, flowers on birthdays and unexpected presents; for talk at evenings of events of the day..'._

From Christian Faith and Practise in the Experience of the Society of Friends - Quakers

BLOGGERS ADDICTIONS

I'm going through what can only be called a life crisis. Looking at my statistics page this morning I saw in that funny place called search engines, two separate entries, one saying 'Valerie Davies died abroad', and the other 'Valerie Davies dies abroad'. I tried to click on it to find out more about my death, feeling somewhat as Mark Twain must have done when he said that reports of his death had been greatly exaggerated. But it won't let me click, so perhaps \- since I feel very much alive - I'm in that place called limbo, where I gather, we spend some time reviewing our lives and our mistakes and our decisions.

This feels quite a familiar place to me, having spent or wasted quite a chunk of my life reviewing my decisions, and regretting my mistakes, and now I'm doing it in Bloggerland.

It's four months since in blissful ignorance, I posted the first blog. If I'd read any blogs first, I might have started differently, but since I knew no better, when my friendly printer said he'd got my blog ready, and now all I had to do was to write, I believed him. But four months later, having worked my way through the most obvious Blogger Complexes, I'm now swimming in deeper waters.

Yes, there is that Bloggers Delight, when a reader writes a comment that blows your socks off with its intelligence, perception, kindness or goodness. There is also the Bloggers Delight of discovering a blog that sings to you, so you click the follow button without more ado. This can happen with both photos and the written word.

Then there are the Bloggers Friendships, when a select group of like minds read your blogs regularly, and leave comments that range from encouraging to loving – a unique form of friendship, in which goodness and mercy float across the aether, blessing him that gives and him that takes.

Bloggers Dilemma is the apparent randomness of whether a post is successful or not. The blogger writes a post, anticipating a nice spike in the stats, wall to wall 'likes' or a rash of interested comments, only to find a flat plateau, and few 'likes', and nothing much in comments. This leads to Bloggers Heart-searching: was it too long? Was it too short? Why didn't they like it? Am I writing too often? Am I writing enough? Longer or shorter gaps? Should I take it off now, or leave it a little longer?

In its most extreme form, this Bloggers Angst is likely to deteriorate into Bloggers Breast-beating: am I a bore? Do I kid myself in thinking that what I have to say is interesting? Am I old hat? Am I irrelevant? Was it a mistake? Should I stop blogging and get myself a life again?

Looking on the bright side of things is Bloggers Fancy, the logical conclusion of that wonderful hobby of Blog Hopping. Browsing through a blog and its comments, the wit, intelligence or humanity of a comment invites you to trace that blogger, and having found her and read her stuff, finding another like-minded comment, jumping to that blog, scattering 'likes' and 'follow' with gay abandon. Which means that when one of these bloggees asks how you found him or her, you have no idea by what zig-zag path you got to them.

Bloggers Fancy can thus trigger a certain amount of over-indulgence, which begins to add up to Bloggers Burden. This is when the blogger opens her e-mails and finds dozens and dozens of tantalising titles, subjects and topics, all must- reads, all demanding her attention. Suddenly meals arrive late, ironing piles up, business gets pushed aside, weeding is forgotten, books are unread, nights get later. This is the stage when blogging slides from a Bloggers Hobby to a Bloggers Complex, before flowering into a full blown Bloggers Addiction.

And this is when we become defensive about the amount of time we spend on the computer. We hastily switch off when partners come into the room, pretending we've just been reading a book, or checking something. We find ourselves making meals a little more ordinary, no time to spend slaving over a hot stove any more, whipping up some fresh mayonnaise or concocting a tasty rice dish.

Pasta becomes popular, as it's quicker to cook than potatoes when we've forgotten the time. Saucepans get burned as we slip away to the computer to catch up on just a few more blogs, while the eggs boil, or the soup heats up, or the potatoes cook. Sometime later the soup is stuck to the bottom of the pan, the boiled eggs are hard as cannonballs and about to explode in an empty smoking saucepan, and the potatoes are an un-mashable soggy disintegrating pulp.

This is the dark side of blogging! There are also Bloggers Challenges. I inadvertently stumbled into an impassioned defence of guns between a macho group of far right extremists, who all agreed that Jefferson had said they could all carry guns and defend themselves, rather than that he meant they could carry guns to defend their homeland. The Challenge was to move on before becoming either depressed or dismayed by an alien culture. There are, I discover, plenty of alien cultures in Bloggerland.

But the Challenge is a necessary stage of the Bloggers Rite of Passage, when we discover that though we all share the same planet, we actually live in different worlds. Bloggers Challenge then, is also to find our own world. And the funny thing is, since birds of a feather actually do flock together, we do all find our own community of kindred souls. Not quite heaven on earth, but better than limbo. And it's called Bloggers Blessing.

FOOD FOR THREAD-BARE GOURMETS

While still plying my husband with steak and the like, I've given up eating meat myself in the hope of easing my arthritic hands, having tried everything else, like giving up sugar and giving up carbohydrates. Still eschewing the sugar, and hoping that the meatless regime will help. So this is one of the delicious non-meat dishes I'm enjoying.

It's an Indonesian dish called Sambel Goreng Telor, which means eggs in coconut milk, and though it may not sound very promising, it's actually delicious (and cheap).

This recipe is for four eggs. I use two, but still make the same amount of sauce. While the eggs are hard boiling, (and no clandestine checking of blogs) finely slice an onion, a large clove of garlic, a tomato and a red pepper. Fry the onion and when it's beginning to soften, add the garlic, tomato, pepper, some salt and a tablespoon of sugar, and continue to cook. Lastly add half a cup (I use a bit more) of coconut milk, and finish cooking. Slice the eggs in half and pour the sauce over. Serve with rice. This recipe was adapted for westerners. I think that the original recipe would have used palm sugar rather than sugar.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

I love the juxtaposition of serious and ridiculous, so this parody of Kipling by Catholic priest and English writer Ronald Knox 1888 – 1957 just fits the bill:

The tumult and the shouting dies,

The captains and the kings depart,

And we are left with large supplies

Of cold blancmange and rhubarb tart

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Another recent book by Valerie Davies:

If you liked Chasing the Dragon, you will also enjoy The Sound of Water! Buy it here: <https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/163467>

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