Few comedians have had careers as insane and
tragic as Artie Lange.
The funny-man has had more than his fair share
of struggles, but no matter how dark things
get, Lange always finds a way to come back.
Here’s the real story behind the tragic
life of Artie Lange.
Right after Artie Lange’s 18th birthday,
tragedy struck when his father fell off a
ladder at work and was paralyzed.
Lange, who often worked alongside his father
and held his ladder, was away playing pool
with friends.
"I have nightmares about that.
He never brought it up to me, but, uh, I…
I think about it all the time."
Lange's father passed four and a half years
after the accident, with Lange later revealing
to Rolling Stone that he’d simply “lost
the will to live.”
After moving to New York and doing stand-up
for about three and a half years, the 27-year-old
Lange scored his dream job when he was cast
on the brand new Fox sketch show, MADtv.
However, working on the show was stressful,
and Lange’s growing cocaine problem didn’t
exactly help matters.
According to his memoir, Too Fat to Fish,
Lange reached a low point when filming a sketch
called "Babe Watch."
A parody of the movie Babe and the hit show
Baywatch, Lange had to spend three hours transforming
into a creepily accurate pig-man.
"A pig face, a pig snout.
Six teets.
The bikini top on each one, that was the joke,
you know…
You didn’t see us at the Emmys a lot back
then."
When he finally got to set at 4 a.m. after
having to stare at himself in pig makeup for
hours, Lange decided he needed a boost.
After buying snow in a parking lot and doing
some lines in a restaurant bathroom while
still wearing his pig mask, Lange returned
to set, only to continue doing lines there.
With no end to his addiction in sight, combined
with two attempts to take his own life, Lange
was fired from MADtv after only two years.
Needless to say, Lange wasn’t getting a
ton of offers thrown his way after being fired
from a hit TV show and having a known problem.
"I have no job, no car, no money, no girlfriend.
I’m not particularly good-looking.
When I go to the beach, I don’t tan properly."
However, comedian Norm MacDonald was happy
to give him a chance by casting him in the
movie Dirty Work.
Lange was in rehab when MacDonald reached
out to him about the role, but instead of
completing the program, he simply paid the
rehab director to give him written permission
to begin filming.
Lange and MacDonald hadn't met before the
film, but they instantly became friends during
Lange's audition.
When MacDonald appeared on Howard Stern in
1998 to promote Dirty Work, he brought Lange
along, talking him up until Stern invited
him into the studio.
"Isn’t that the guy who got fired from Mad
TV?"
"Yeah, man, he got fired from Mad TV.
This is the coolest story."
"What did he…?
Where is he?
Bring him in, too."
It was Lange's first appearance on the show,
and it led to the most successful move of
his career.
Lange’s easy charm left a lasting impression
on Howard Stern after his initial appearance
on the show.
So when Stern needed another person in the
studio in 2001, Lange was the first to come
to mind.
The comedian stayed on the show from 2001
to 2009, and Stern praised him as the “funniest,
sweetest” guy around with “the biggest
heart on the planet.”
While the two loved working together, Lange's
problem eventually made the collaboration
impossible.
After falling asleep in the studio and nearly
punching his assistant on air, Lange went
back to rehab and appeared in his last show
in December 2009.
By 2010, Artie Lange had hit rock bottom.
In his darkest moment after a four-day binge,
Lange drank some household chemicals and attempted
to take his own life with a knife.
Lange later explained his addled thought process,
saying:
"At the time I did that, there was a part
of me that just wanted to get that feeling
or that opiate feeling or whatever.
My logic was, 'If I get bloody, I'll get queasy,
and I'll go to sleep.'"
Luckily, his mother found him passed out and
bleeding in his bedroom and rushed him to
the hospital.
After a year and eight months in rehab and
therapy, Lange started to work again, writing
his second book, Crash and Burn, about the
incident and his addiction.
If you or anyone you know is having suicidal
thoughts, please call the National Suicide
Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
Though Lange has had more than his fair share
of troubles, he always seems to get back on
his feet.
With the help of small roles on Louie and
Inside Amy Schumer, Lange slowly made his
way back on TV, all while continuing his standup
career on the road.
The game-changer came in 2016 when Lange scored
a major role in the HBO series Crashing.
Lange plays himself on the show and acts as
a sort-of mentor to Pete Holmes’ lead character,
an aspiring stand-up comedian.
After only four episodes, the show got picked
up for a second season, upping the chance
of Lange's role becoming significantly larger.
Though he spoke about sobriety after nearly
taking his life in 2010 and seemingly got
his career back on track, Artie Lange was
arrested in March 2017 for possession.
After the arrest, Lange tweeted to his fans
that he was okay and “never wanted to live
more”, though he warned young people to
not follow in his footsteps.
However, a few days after the incident, Lange
surprised fans by saying in a radio interview
that he had been fired from Crashing, but
HBO and executive producer Judd Apatow were
quick to shoot down that idea.
The show’s creator and star, Pete Holmes,
even said:
"Once you meet and know Artie, you're not
going to turn your back on him."
It's unclear what caused all the confusion
about the supposed firing, but Lange did eventually
return to the series, even starring in a poignant
episode that directly addressed his long battle
with addiction.
Unfortunately, the condition of Artie Lange's
nose tells his story.
Fans who paid close attention to the comedian’s
nose in pictures and appearances could watch
the progression through the years, but Lange
addressed it head on in December 2018 by posting
several photos to Twitter, captioning one
picture of his nose:
"Woke up clean!
My nose is f---ed.
Gotta accept it.
But I'm alive and blessed."
This all comes amid court appearances for
continued convictions, as well as reports
that Lange relapsed during rehab in the fall
of 2018.
However, Lange insists that he’s clean now,
even taking to Twitter in December 2018 to
defend his decision to stay busy with stand-up
comedy.
Lange wrote:
“I’m clean, guys.
I swear.
Will it last?
I hope so.
But I can’t sit inside and be what… people
want me to be.
I gotta take the risk.
It’s the only life I know.
I love you all.”
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