■
HAIR LIKE SHEEP'S WOOL.
IF THAT AIN'T A AFRO,
MY NAME AIN'T
EDDIE MOTHERFUCKING GRIFFIN.
STRONG■cROTHER.
LEFT THE HOUSE WHEN HE WAS 13.
THAT'S A BAD MOTHERFUCKEz■
IT WASN'T THAT SOFT GUY
THEY HAD IN THE MOVIES
MARCHING AROUND WITH
THAT FUCKED-UP MUSIC PLAYING.
■
♪ OHH OH OH OHH ♪
■■
♪ OHH OH OH OHH ♪♪
■
I'M LIKE,
"IS THIS THE SON OF GOD,
OR ARE YOU GETTING READY
TO PICK COTTON?"
JESUS LEFT THE HOUSE
WHEN HE WAS 13.
WENT TO HIS PARENTS,
"LOOK,0m GOT TO GO."
THEY'RE LIKE, "NO, BABY."
"NO, I GOT TO GO.
I GOT PEOPLE TO SAVE
AND WATER TO WALK ON. SEE YOU!"
HE WASN'T WALKING AROUND
IN NO DUSTY DRAWERS.
JESUS WAS KNOCKING
MOTHERFUCK■■S OUT.
■
TRUST ME WHEN I TELL YO■.
WALK INTO A NEW TOWN AND TELL
SOMEBODY, "I'M GOD'S SON."
"NIGGER, YOU TRIPPING.
"GET O■á OF MY FACE
WITH THAT BULLSHIT.
I'M TRYING TO SELL
THESE MUSHROOMS."
■
DRUGS AIN'T NOTHING NEW.
JESUS STEPPETO HIM.
"I'LL GIVE YOU
ANOTHER CHANCE.
"STOP WHAT YOU DOING
BECAUSE YOU'RE ABOUT TO RUIN
THE STYLE AND THE IMAGE
THAT I'M USED TO."
BROTHER LIKE, "YEAH, RIGHT."
JESUS CLOCK HIM.
"YES, LORD!
"I SEE THE LIGHT!
A WHOLE LOT OF THEM!"
JESUS WAS SO COLD,
HE WAS AT THE LAST SUPPER,
GODFATHER STYLE.
STRONG BROTHER DON'T GET LOUD.
12 MOTHERFUCKERS
EATING HIS FOOD--
HIS HOMEYS.
BACK THEN,
THEY CLED THEM APOSTLES.
HOMEYS, PARTNERS, HIS NIGGERS,
HIS ROAD DOGS,
EATING UP HIS SHIT.
JESUS SITTING THERE
SCOPING THEM OUT.
"I KNOW ONE OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS
SNITCHED ON ME."
"BUT I'M GOING TO LET YOU SLIDE
"BECAUSE IT'S IN
MY FATHER'S PLAN.
■
IF IT WASN'T, I'D BE WHOPPING
YOUR MONKEY ASS."
JESUS WAS SO COLD,
HE WAS ON THE CROSS,
STILL TALKING SHIT.
"I'LL BE BACK IN A COUPLE DAYS.
THESE LITTLE NAILS
DON'T MEAN SHIT."
THEY OPENED THE TOMB.■ñ
JESUS WAS GONE.
JOHN SEEN HIM WALKING
DOWN THE STREET.
"JESUS, THAT YOU?"
"IT AIN'T PETER, MOTHERFUCKER."
AND THAT'S POWER, MAN,
TO BE ABLE TO WAKE SOMEBODY
FROM THE DEAD.
THAT'S POWER.
■
SOMEBODY BREAK IN JESUS'
MAMMA HOUSE.
JESUS BE LIKE,
"GO ON UPSTAIRS, BABY GIRL.
"NO, NO. I GOT THIS.
"COME ON OUT
é■FROM BEHIND THAT COUCH, NIGGE.
"COME OUT
FROM BEHIND THAT COUCH.
"YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME.
THIS IS JESUS.
"WHAT THE HELL
YOUR PROBLEM, FOOL?
■■
"YOU DON'T BREAK IN
MY MAMMA HOUSE.
"THAT'S THE VIRGIN.
"THERE'S SOMETHING WR■NG
WITH YOU, BOY.
"YOU GOT A PROBLEM.
■çYOU GOT A PROBLEM."
"YEAH, I GOT A PROBLEM.
"HEH HEH HEH.
"I GOT A PROBLEM
LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER, MAN.
"SEE, I AIN'T GOT
A LOT OF THINGS.
"SO SOMETIMES
I HAVE TO TAKE THEM.
■
"I HEARD ABOUT YOU.
"YOU'RE THAT BROTHER
THEY CALL JESUS.
"BE DOING MIRACLES AND SHIT.
WHY DON'T YOHOOK A NIGGER UP
WITH A MIRACLE?"
"I'M GOING TO HOOK
YOUR LITTLE ASS UP.
FIRST, I'LL T■ACH YOU A LESSON."
BAM! BAM!
■
"NOW, GET ON UP."
IF I HAD THAT POWER,
I'D BE KILLING MOTHERFUCKERS
ALL DAY LONGñ■
"DON'T FUCK WITH ME NO MORE!
THE LINE SAID 10 ITEMS OR LESS!"
MOSES WAS ANOTHER
STRONG BROTHER.
■■■
I'M SORRY.
IT WASN'T CHARLTON He■TON.
■
I'M SORRY.
■
WE KNOW EGYPT IS IN AFRICA.
I'M SORRY!
MOSES HAD A BIG OLD NAPPY 'FRO
AND A NAPPY BEARD.
é■COLD BROTHER.
WALKED INTO THE PHARAOH
BY HISSELF.
AT THE TIME,
THE PHARAOH WAS THE BADDEST
■■THERFUCKER ON THE PLANET.
WALKED IN WITH JUST A STICK.
IT WASN'T THAT BEGGING SHIT
THEY HAD CHARLTON ■gSTON DOING.■
"WOULD YOU ■LEASE
LET 'EM GO?"
THIS WAS A NIGGER.
HE WALKED IN,
"LOOK HERE, MOTHERFUCKER.
"I HATE TO HE TO PUT
THIS STICK ON YOUR ASS.
"STICK A BAD MOTHERFUCKER.
"I GOT FROGS,
MOSQUITOES I■■HERE.
I'LL WHOOP YOUR ASS!"
■■
YOU KNOW THE PHARAOH
MUST HAVE BEEN
■
SITTING DOWN CRACKING UP.
"THIS NIGGER
DONE LOST HIS MIND.
"NIGGER, YOU BEEN WANDERING
AROUND THAT DESERT TOO LONG.
"YOUR BRAIN FRIED.
■■
"I AIN'T LETTING
THESE SLAVES GO.
"WHO GOING TO BUILD
MY PYRAMID, FOOL?
■
"YOU AIN'T THE ONLY ONE
WITH A STICK.
"THAT NIGGER ■VER THERE
GOT A STICK.
"HE GOT A STICK.
OLD NIGGER,é■
WE'LL STICK YOU LIKE A KING."
"SINCE YOU MY HALF BROTHER,
I'LL LET YOUR ASS SLIDE
BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE DERANGED."
MOSES WASN'T NO FOOL.
HE SEEN ALL THEM GUARDS.
MOSES LIKE,
"I'LL GIVE YOU TILL TOMORROW."é>
NEXT DAY,
PHARAOH SITTING AROUND,
■
"SHIT, AH...
HEY, WHERE MOSES AT?
■
"YOU GET MOSES UP IN HERE!
"HEY, WHAT UP, MOSES?
"WE GOING TO LET THE SLAVES GO■
HEY, CAN YOU TAKE
THESE MOSQUITOES BACK?"
AND THEN MOSES--
"NO. THE STICK PUT OUT.
■■
D■N'T TAKE BACK."
N■
"JUST GET THE FUCK OFF!
HEY, BABY, YOU GOT
ANY CALAMINE LOTION?"é■
SO MOSES TAKES THE SLAVES OUT
TO THE RED SEA.
PHARAOH CHANGES HIS MIND.
YOU KNOW 7HY, BECAUSE HIS WIFE
WAS ON HIS CASE.
"YOU AIN'T NOTHING
BUT OLD SOFT-ASS NIGGER.
"GOING TO LET THEM SLAVES GO.
"NIGGER, WHO GOING TO
CRUSH MY GRAPES, MAKE MY WINE?
"T■■T WASN'T NOTHING BUT
ONE NIGGER WITH A STICK.
■
"Y'ALL HAD STICKS!
■
YOU NEEDED TO BE WEARING
THAT LITTLE SKIRT YOU GOT ON!"
PHARAOH GOT TO P■■Y
LIKE HE STILL THE MAN.
"BABY, I'M SETTING THEM UP.
"GET THEM ALL AT THE SAME PLACE,
AND THEN I GOT THEM.
U GOT ANY CALAMINE LOTION?"
■
SO THE PHARAOH GETS OUT
TO THE RED SEA,
STICKS THE STAFF IN THE WATER.
SHIT DON'T PART IMMEDIATELY
LIKE IT DID IN THE MOVIE.
THAT NIGG■R GOT NERVOUS
FOR A MINUTE.
[CHANTING]
■■■
"HEY! HEY, GOD!
"HEY, HELP A NIGGER OUT!
GOT ALL THE PEOPLE HERE."
[CHANTING]
■■
THERE'S ONE MOTHERFUCKER
STANDING OFF TO ÷lE SIDE,■■
"NOW WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO,
MOSES?■
DONE MARCHED ME OUT HERE.
NIGGER, I CAN'T SWIM."
"NOW, EITHER THIS WATER PART,
OR I'M PARTING YOUR ASS."
WHEN THE WATER
FINALLY OPENED UP,
V■
é■MOSES WASN'T
THE FIRST ONE THROUGH.
HE DIDN'T ■oOW HOW LONG
THAT SHIT WAS GOING TO STAND UP.
MOSES LIKE, "GO AHEAD,
MY PEOPLE. GO AHEAD."
"SHIT, IT'S COOL."
■
THERE WAS A COUPLE MOTHERFUCKERS
WALKING THROUGH THAT,■
"SHIT, MIGHT AS WELL
GET CATFISH WHILE WE IN HERE."
KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?■■■
THE DUMBEST MOTHERFUCKER
IN THE BIBLE í■ ME
HAD TO BE LOT'S WIFE,■■■
OF SODOM AND GOMORRAH.
THIS IS THE DUMBEST BITCH EVER.
SHE MAKE LA TOYA LOOK LIKE
A GENIUS.
KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
THEY LIVED IN A TOWN
CALLED SODOM.
YOU KNOW WHAT SODOM IS--
ASS FUCKING.
A TOWN FULL OF ASS FUCKERS.
GOD UP IN HEAVEN, "I'M TIRED
OF SMELLING THE SHIT.
"I'M BURNING
THIS MOTHERFUCKER UP.
THERE'S A LOT OF SHIT-PACKING
GOING ON."
■
HE CAME DOWN
TO LOT AND HIS WIFE,
é■
AND THIS WAS IN THE DAYS WHEN
GOD TALKED TO YOU ■o STEREO.
IT AIN'T LIKE TODAY WHEN YOU BE
PRAYING AND YOU HEAR SOMETHING,
"NO, THAT'S MY HEAD
FUCKING WITH ME."
■
THIS IS WHEN
IT CAME IN STEREO!
HE SAID, "LOT, I'M GOING TO BURN
ALL THIS SHIT,
"BUT YOU BEEN ON YOUR KNEES
REGULAR.
■■■■
"YOU AND YOUR WIFE AIN'T DOING
THE FREAKY-FREAKY.
"SO I'M GOING TO LET YOU KNOW,
GET THE FUCK OUT OF TOWN.
"TAKE Y■UR WIFE.
JUST GET ON OUT
AND DON'T LOOK BACK."
SAID IT AGAIN!
"DON'T LOOK BACK!"
LOT LIKE, "COOL. SHIT.
ALL RIGHT. MUCH LOVE!"
"BABY, COME ON.■■■■■■
"FUCK THAT DRESS.
FUCK THEM REFRIGERATORS.N■
"JUST GET YOUR SHIT.
é■COME ON. LET'S GO!
DON'T LOOK BACK.
I LIKE THE PUSSY. COME ON."
■
THEY WALKING DOWN.
■
LOT'S STUPID-ASS WIFE--
THEY GET 5 MILES
OUTSIDE OF TOWN,
THIS BITCH GOING TO
DOUBT GOD'S WORD.
■
"I DON'T KNOW
WHAT HE TALKING ABOUT."
"BABY, I LIKE THE PUSSY.
DON'T TURN AROUND."
"I WANT TO SEE."
LOT DIDN'T EVEN FLINCH.■
HE'S LIKE...
"KIND OF SALTY.
■
SURE GOING TO MISS THAT PUSSY."
THEN THERE WAS ADAM AND EVE.
MMM!
■
YOU KNOW ADAM MUST HAVE BEEN
REAL FUCKED UP, MAN,
BEFORE GOD MADE EVE,
BECAUSE THERE'S NO PUSSY.
HE WALKING AROUND THE GARDEN
BUTT NAKED,
JACKING OFF, NAMING SHIT.
MADDER THAN A MOTHERFUCKER!
"THIS SHmn AIo'T RIGHT!"
"TREE!"
■
"GIRAFFE!"
■
"BIRDS!■
"I'LL NAME Y'A■■
INDIVIDUALLY LATER. I'M TIRED."■
LOOK■■T THE PROFESSIONAL
JACK-OFFS
■■■■■
THAT KNOW THAT THUMB ACTION.
"WATER COME OUT THIS THING,
BUT IT WON'T GO DOWN.
KIND OF TINGLE RIGHT THERE."
■
YOU KNOW, GOD MUST HAVE BEEN
UP IN HEAVEN TRIPPING.
"DAMN. WHAT THE HELL
DID I FORGET?
"I GOT THE TREES, THE AIR,
THE WATER.
■
"THIS NIGGER KEEP HOLDING
HIS DICK.
"SOMETHING MISSING!
"GODDAMN, NIGGER!
WHAT THE HELL DID YOU FORGET?
"AW, DAMN!
OH, NO! ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT."
■
"HEY, ADAM!"■
"YEAH?"
"GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU."
"IS IT GOING TO MAKE
THIS GO DOWN?"
"OH, IT'LL HANDLE IT.
IT'LL HANDLE IT.
■
GOING TO COST YOU A RIB."
"A RIB?"
"GO ON AND DO
WHAT YOU GOT TO DO.
■■■
DO WHAT YOU GOT TO DO!"
[GRUNTING]
"SHIT. YOU DIDN'T SAY
IT WAS GOING TO HURT."
"NOW, ROLL OVER
AND SEE WHAT YOU GOT."
"SHE'S GOT LUMPS ON HER CHEST."■
"I'M GOING TO CALL YOU EVE
BECAUS■OF THE EVENING.■
"YEAH.
■
"OOHH!■■
AHH!"
[SNIFF■oG]
"WE AIN'T GOING TO DO THAT YET.
THAT SMELLS LIKE THAT THING
I CALL FISH."
"HEY, SHE GOT HAIR,
BUT SHE AIN'T GOT NO THING."
"OH, YOU LIKE THAT?
"AHH!
■■
"UGHH!
UGHH!"
"IT AIN'T THAT BAD."
"YOURS GO IN,
AND MINE'S COME OUT.
"OPEN YOUR L■■S.■■
LEAVE THEM OPEN!"
■■
"COME HERE.
■■■■■■■■
BEND OVER."
"AH-HA!■
HI-YAH!"
■
"LET ME GO!"■■■■■■
AND THAT'S HOW FUCKING WAS BOR■■
NOW, THERE'S A SUBJECT
THAT I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT
THIS EVENING.
WHITE PEOPLES.
■
NO, 'CAUSE I'M TAKING A COURSE
IN HONKY-OLOGY,■
AND I'VE COME TO THE CONCLUSION
IN MY THESIS
■■
THAT THEY OUT
THEIR MOTHERFUCKING MINDS.
GOT A MOTHERFUCKING DEATH WISH.
THEY DON'T GIVE A FUCo.■
JUST BUNGEE-CORD JUMP.
WHO THE FUCK
CA■& UP WITH THIS SHIT?
LEAP!
■
LEAP!
■■
SOMEBODY WANT TO COMMIT SUIDE,
BUT NO■REAL■Ñ.
YOU KNOW HOW YOU KNOW
WHITE PEOPLE ARE CRAZY?
LISTEN TO THEIR MUSIC.
é)MUSIC WILL TELL YOU
A LOT ABOUT PEOPLE.
BROTHERS ARE SANE.
■
WE GOT MUSIC THAT GOT A BEAT
YOU CAN FOLLOWñ■
♪ DO DO DO
UM UM UM ♪
♪ UH DO DO DO
UM UM UM ♪♪
EVEN MEXICAN PEOPLE...
♪ LANT DA DA DA LA DA DAT,
LANT DA DA DA LA DA ♪♪
EVEN LITTLE ORIENTAL PEOPLE...
♪ DUNG KA KA DUN DUN,
DUNG KA KA DUN DÑ■ ♪♪
■
WHITE PEOPLE...
■
[IMITATING HEAVY METAL MUSIC]
JUST OLD SICK-ASS SHIT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?■
THEY ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT
BANNING RAP.
■■
THEY NEED TO BAN
THAT HEAVY METAL SH■T.
KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
THAT'S THE MOST
SATANIC-ASS SHIT.
EVERY TIME YOU GO
UP TO THE RECORD STORE,
YOU SEE A COVER, GOT DEVILS
WITH SPIKES IN THEIR HEADS,
LITTLE KIDS C■MING ■UT
THEIR NOSE ON SKATEBOARDS
WITH CANDY IN THEIR HAND.
EVERY TIME THEY COME ONSTAGE,
THEY'RE ALWAYS HIGH
OUT THEIR MOTlERFUCKING MINf.
THEY'LL COME OUT ONSTAGE.
"YOU READY TO FUCKING
ROCK-'N'-ROLL?"
"YOU READY TO FUCKING
ROCK-'N'-ROLL?"
■
é)"YOU READY TO FUCKING
ROCK-'N'-ROLL?"
"THIS NEXT SONG IS ABOUT MY MOM.
 "IT'S CALLED
 MOMMY'S GOT TO GO.■
ONE, TWO,
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!"
[IMITATING HEAVY METAL]
♪ MOMMY CAME IN THE HOUSE ♪
♪ TRIED TO HIT ME
IN THE MOUTH ♪
♪Y■ SO I SHOT HER IN THE HEAD ♪
♪ NOW MOMMY'S DEAD ♪
♪ OH!
MOMMY'S GOT TO GO ♪
■
♪ MOMMY'S GOT TO GO ♪
■
♪ MOMMY'S GOT TO GO ♪
♪ SHE'S GOT TO FUCKING GO ♪
♪ DADDY WALKED IN THE DO/R ■
♪ SAID, "WHAT'D YOU
KILL MOMMY FOR?" ♪
♪ I SAID, "YOU BETTER
WATCH YOUR STEP" ♪
♪ "FUCKER, YOU MIGHT BE NEXT" ♪
♪ MOMMY'S GOT TO G■ ♪
♪ MOMMY'S GOT TO GO ♪♪
AN■D SO DO I. PEACE.
CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY
THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING
INSTITUTE, INC.
■■
CAPTIONS
♪ AND YOUR SCALP
WILL BE GRe■SY ♪
♪ WE CAN REALLY GET THERE ♪
■■
♪ IF YOU CARE EN■UGH
FOR YOUR JHERI ♪
♪ MAKE A BETTER SPRAY ♪
■
♪ COME ON,
MAKE A BETTER SPRAY ♪
■é■
♪ ■EAL MY CURL ♪
EVERYBODY!■■
♪ MAKE ME A BETTER SPRAY ♪
♪ FOR YOU AND FOR ME ♪
♪ AND THE JHERI CURLS TODAY ♪
■■WANT TO THANK YOU
FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.
■■■
I APPRECIATE YOU SUPPORTING ME
AND MAKING THIS THING HAPPEN.
■
I KNOW Y'ALL EMPLOY ME.
■■■
I'M GLAD TO WORK FOR YOU.
AND I HOPE YOU KEEP ENJOYING
WHAT I DO FOR YOU.■>é
PEACE. I'M OUT.
■■
