Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World.
‘Nothing messy goes in and nothing messy comes out’
We probably should have reviewed Forbidden World when we did Dead Space last year,
because Dead Space is Roger Corman’s remake of Roger Corman’s Forbidden World,
which is in turn a rip-off of Alien.
‘Sounds like fun’
Mike Colby is a Federation Marshall, travelling space with a Lego stormtrooper called Sam,
'There's a pack FuRaiders on out tail sir.'
and having what seem to be premonitions about the movie he’s in.
I can only assume these are to pad the brief runtime or to let audiences know there will be nudity; be patient.
‘Very funny’
Mike and Sam are called to a remote scientific outpost where shit is going down.
‘That’s the truth’
The station is scrupulous about hygiene.
‘It kills every living thing on your body’
Not that you’d know it from their head scientist,
Could you not wear the bloody lab coat to lunch?
But despite their precautions,
‘We created a little monster, I’m afraid’
‘It’s like an ordinary mutant in that it is genetically different from its parent.’
Colby has the solution.
‘I’ve got a motto; if it moves and it’s not one of us; shoot it’
'Brilliant, just what we need.'
Now that’s sorted, I think scientist Barb is good to go.
‘Give us a chance to fill you in.
’But Tracy’s cute too,
'Sorry.'
Though she seems like less of a scientist,
‘Wait will you – it’s all in numbers’
What’s a rogue-ish space adventurer to do?
But before things get complicated, lab assistant Jimmy demonstrates why he’s never been promoted,
just not smart.
What did your boss say earlier?
‘Best to keep that closed’
Good advice, and what follows makes John Hurt’s chest-bursting look positively stoic.
His girlfriend Tracy, mourns, and yes she’s the one who was making eyes at Mike earlier
but based on this photo it was less a relationship and more a hostage situation.
Barb, meanwhile, deals with the death of her friend in her own way.
‘I heard you’re the best trouble-shooter in the Federation’
Well, there’s a killer creature on the rampage I should probably be searching for but what the hell?
As Barb and Mike get it on accompanied by some sexy space sax.
Another crew member is attacked and something weird happens.
Why intercut these scenes? All it does is highlight the fact that Mike is seriously neglecting his job.
‘How do you figure that?
’The next morning, Tracy tries to forget the loss of Jimmy in the space sauna.
But…
‘I’m sorry’
You look it.
‘Get out’
‘Baxter, you’re beautiful’
She said ‘get out’. Hopefully Tracy will report this.
‘Get naked’
Or exercise her own brand of justice,
‘Well, as a matter of fact I had a hard night’
Nailing your friend, but I think I’ve got one more in me.
I’ve got to move on from Jimmy, it’s been hours already.
But…
Unluckily for Mike this alerts the rest of the crew.
‘I wanna know what you and Tracy were doing in there dressed like that’
‘Explaining your scars no doubt’
Awkward. The creature now mutates into an Alien Halloween costume,
mutilating more crew,
while we get some scientific explanation.
‘We knew could create the cell but not the womb to grow it in’
could we discuss this when I’m not dying?
‘Have you thought about trying to communicate with it?’
The crew debate what course to take.
‘That’s about the stupidest damn idea I’ve heard all day’
Guess the honeymoon’s over.
‘No offense Barb.’
There is a definite gender split, not just in the best course of action but in how they’re discussed,
so; the men’s discussion.
‘Blast it, crush it’ ‘what else?’ ‘poison it’
and the women’s …
‘He’s telling me the thing’s intelligent and they go right on insisting the only way to deal with it is to blow it up’
I just think much more clearly naked.
‘We’ll have to do this ourselves’
So I see. The women go to face the creature.
Dressed for action, but will it understand them?
‘Give me some sign or some gesture’
#Synth Music#
It understands but its taste in music is terrible.
Still, Barb has made contact.
Well, that saves Mike a decision, but now he’s stuck with the girl who does nothing but scream.
#Lots of loud annoying screams#
What now?
‘Okay, we’re gonna have to wire for outside help’
You don’t have to call a ship, you came in one. Leave in it.
‘He’s a true genius’
Chief scientist Dr Timbergen has a plan.
‘I thought if I could get it to swallow any of my malignancy – my cancerous growth – that would be it’
and one force-fed tumour later, that is it,
and we end as we began, padding out the runtime with flashbacks.
This is Roger Corman at his laziest, the spaceships are from Battle Beyond the Stars,
the sets are from Galaxy of Terror.
And yet it’s still better than Dead Space.
Go figure.
'Let's go bang ourselves a digwhopper.'
Thanks for watching. To see an uncensored version of this reviews join us as an acolyte on Patreon.
This film relies on you forgetting that the crew can leave any time,
what other film’s expect you to ignore the obvious solution?
Let us know in the comments below.
'Comeon, let's get out of here.'
