

## Bridesmaid Lotto

## McMaster the Disaster, book 1

##

## Rachel Astor

##

##

Smashwords Edition

Copyright © 2011

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author.

~ 1 ~

"In a bizarre twist on her much publicized engagement with Alan Hall, brother to the famous movie actor Jake Hall, New York socialite Emma VanHorn announced today that she will not be choosing her Bridesmaids from among her friends. Instead, she will be holding what she calls a 'Bridesmaid Lotto,' where members of the general public can purchase a ticket, similar to a lottery ticket, the prize being a coveted spot in the wedding party. Soon to be brother in law, Jake Hall, has been announced as one of the groomsmen. Miss VanHorn has also announced that proceeds from the lottery will be split, half going to charity, and the other half going towards what she calls 'the wedding of the century.'"

"Boo," I yelled, interrupting the entertainment broadcast and throwing popcorn at the TV.

"Shhh," Calla said. "I want to hear this."

I rolled my eyes and tossed another piece of popcorn into my mouth.

The report continued. "In related news, Jake Hall has recently announced his intent to find a mate and settle down saying, quote, 'I am tired of dating. I'm very ready to settle down. I just have to find the right girl.' Well ladies, now may be your chance. Tickets for the Bridesmaid Lotto will be available for purchase between midnight tomorrow, and midnight this coming Saturday. You can find more information at www.BridesmaidLotto.com. The winners will be announced here on Entertainment News in a one hour, special Sunday night broadcast."

"Wow," Calla whispered, forgetting to chew the popcorn that was partially hanging out of her mouth. "Could you just picture it? I can't imagine even being in the same room as Jake Hall!"

"Oh please, Calla," I said. "A lottery for being a Bridesmaid? Pffft. You couldn't pay me to be a Bridesmaid, especially for someone I don't even know."

"Josie! You don't even want to be a Bridesmaid when I get married?" my roommate said. She crossed her arms and stuck out her lip.

"Fine," I said. "I'll be a Bridesmaid at your wedding. But that's it!"

"Oh my God though." Her words were starting to pick up speed. "Wouldn't it be so cool to meet Jake Hall? I mean, if he were a doctor, he'd be McDreamy and McSteamy all rolled into one."

"Uh, you know, they aren't actually doctors either," I reminded her. "They're also just actors."

"Shhh. You don't have to ruin my fantasy," she said, throwing a piece of popcorn at me. "But even you can't argue the fact that Jake Hall is the hottest actor in the history of the world."

I shrugged. "I guess."

Calla smiled at me like she knew something I didn't. Perhaps she was picking up on the fact that I'd had a complete and utter movie star crush on Jake Hall since I'd seen him seven years ago in the teen horror flick, High School Hell. Of course I would never, ever admit to that to her, or anyone else for that matter.

"Well I'm definitely going to enter," Calla said and got up. She headed over to the computer. "What was that website again, Bridesmaid something?"

"Lotto," I answered. "But they're not even selling tickets yet. Not until tomorrow."

"I know, but I just want some more information." She happily started clicking away.

"Ew. This is a little sick," she said, scrolling down the webpage. "You must be under 130 lbs. but also under 5' 10" tall, and under the age of 30. It says they're going to actually weigh, measure and verify the ages of the winners. And you have to send a photo in with your entry. They say it's for advertising purposes only though."

"I guess that Jake Hall likes his women to be shorter than him, and obviously she's going to have to be thin," I said sarcastically. Secretly I was a little disappointed that he would be so superficial.

"The tickets are ten bucks," Calla continued, apparently not too put off by the entrance criteria.

"Hmmm."

"Josie! Don't you even care that the hottest bachelor in New York is looking for a girlfriend?"

"Why would I?"

"Because this is our chance to meet the man of our dreams and have him fall madly in love with us."

She was completely serious.

"Yeah. That's gonna happen."

"Josie! Come on. You've got to have some faith. It could happen."

"Yeah. Right. It could happen. And I'm sure he'll fall madly in love with us both and we'll all live happily ever after."

"Well, maybe not both of us," Calla said. "But seriously, it could happen to one of us. And I would be so happy for you if it was you, you know."

"Well I'll be happy for you too," I said, humoring her. "But you go ahead and take this one. I'm not gonna enter."

"What!" She looked at me like I had just told her I had murdered someone.

"I said I'm not going to enter." I started flipping through the channels. "I wonder if there are any How I Met Your Mother reruns on."

"How can you possibly say that? It's only ten bucks."

"It's not the money I'm worried about. I'm just not into lottery things. No one I know ever wins anything."

"Well not yet," she said. "But you can't win if you don't play."

"Mm. Hmm," I said, losing interest in the whole thing.

She sighed. "I can't believe you're not even going to try."

"When you think about it, it's better for you," I said, hoping she would let it go. "If I don't enter, that's one less person for you to go up against."

"Aw. Really? That's so sweet," Calla said.

Wow, I thought, she really is gullible.

Frankly I couldn't care less about who won the stupid Bridesmaid thing. If she wanted to get her hopes up, who was I to stop her? It was just a silly little contest anyway.

"I can't find anything on this bloody thing," I said flicking off the TV. "I'm just going to go to bed."

"Okay. I'm gonna hang out on the computer for a while, see what else I can find out."

"Have fun," I said and headed to my room.

# # #

The next morning, I decided I may as well get into work early.

"Hello gorgeous," Matt said as I walked into Walker and Walker, the firm that I was a junior copywriter for.

"Hey Mattie," I said.

"Did you hear?" he asked breathlessly.

"Hear what?"

"About the Bridesmaid Lotto of course."

"Oh no, not you too. Calla is totally excited about it."

"Aren't you? You'd be perfect," he said, playing with my hair and brushing and invisible piece of lint of my shoulder. "Yes, you would make a fine specimen."

"Thanks," I said without a hint of sincerity behind it. "I'm so honored to be a specimen."

He let out a disgusted sigh. "You know what I mean. You two would look so cute together."

"Us two?"

"You and Jake Hall, obviously," he said.

"Well, why not you my friend. You would look positively lovely in a powder pink gown."

"Don't I wish," he said and sighed. "Jake Hall is so hot. Why are all the hot guys straight?"

"Are you kidding me? It's nearly impossible to find a good looking straight man anymore. At least one that's not married."

"Then enter!" he said. "You'd be robbing yourself of the opportunity of a lifetime."

"Yeah. Okay." I rolled my eyes and walked away.

I could almost picture him watching me, one hand on his hip, mouth hanging open, completely disgusted that I wouldn't put myself into the circus that this Bridesmaid Lotto was sure to become.

Whatever, I thought. I had better things to do, including preparing myself for lunch with my mother. Which was about the last thing I felt like doing.

I holed up in my cubicle for most of the morning and shut the phone ringer off, pretending I needed to get some urgent work done. Really I was just avoiding everyone talking about the whole stupid lotto thing.

Around eleven, I finally dialed the code to retrieve my messages.

"You have thirteen messages," the sugary sweet recording announced.

What? Thirteen messages! Oh my God, there must have been some kind of emergency.

"First new message," the recording said.

"Josephine, this is your mother. Just a reminder of our lunch date at noon. Please dear, don't forget this time."

I sighed.

"Next new message," the recording said.

"Josie. Oh my God, I can't believe you're not answering your phone on a day like today," said Calla's recorded voice. "Everyone is talking about it. I am nearly wetting myself I am so excited. Call me back."

"Next new message."

"Hi Josie, it's your sister Rosie. I just heard about the contest going on. Oh my, how exciting. I almost wish I were single again so that I could enter the lotto too. You are so lucky. Bye!"

My sister always announced herself as 'your sister Rosie' even though she was the only sister I had. And I knew she didn't really think I was the lucky one. She and her husband had moved out to the suburbs three years ago and started having babies. They're that blissfully happy couple that pretty much makes you want to barf, and she just loved to take any opportunity to remind me of just how very single I was.

"God, does every single girl under the age of thirty in the city have to deal with this?" I said out loud after deleting the tenth similar message.

The messages went on and on the same. All thirteen of them. Not one person had actually phoned about anything important or work related. By the time I listened to all of them, the morning was gone and I had to leave to meet my mother.

I arrived ten minutes late. Which, in my mother's world means I may have well stabbed her in the eyeball.

"Josephine. There you are," she said, flustered. "I was so worried. I thought maybe you wouldn't make it again."

I stood her up once, four years ago when the subway broke down with me on it. She had not yet let me live it down.

"Sorry I'm late mom," I said without any further explanation.

I had come to learn that no excuse was good enough.

"Well, I'm just glad you made it dear," she said in a tone that I knew actually meant 'I can't believe you left me waiting here for this long.'

I said nothing.

"So dear," my mother said as she looked over her menu. "Have you heard about the Bridesmaid lottery thingie?"

I buried my head in my menu. "Argh. Not you too," I groaned.

"What dear?" she said, as though she hadn't just insulted my entire being.

"What is with everybody? Wasn't there anything else going on in the world yesterday? I can't believe anybody cares about this. It's _entertainment_ news. Not actual important world news."

"Well, I'm sorry I brought it up," she said. "I just thought it might be a wonderful opportunity for someone in your position."

"My position? And what position would that be?"

"You know," she said with a wave of her hand. "Single." She said the word as if it were a disease.

"I like being single."

"That's all well and good for now, but what about five years from now. You aren't always going to be able to fall back on your looks you know."

"When have I ever fallen back on my looks?" I asked, mortified.

"Oh you know what I mean dear. I'm simply saying that your good looks won't last forever. You've got to seize every opportunity to find a husband."

"Oh good God," I said. "Look, I am not entering some stupid lottery to find a husband. It is offensive and degrading to all the poor girls who are gullible enough to enter. Not to mention it's a blatant money grab."

"That money is going to charity," my mother said. "And it's a fantastic opportunity. That Jake Hall is quite the catch. Did you know that he made twelve million on his last picture?"

"Mom, the whole world does not revolve around money," I said.

"Well, that's a lovely notion," she said, "but you and I both know that that is just not true. It's a sad fact, but money is everything."

"So what about Daddy, he didn't have any money when you married him."

"Well no dear, but he had ambition," she said with flair. "I knew he was going places. It's what made me fall in love with him."

"You fell in love with daddy because you knew he'd eventually have money?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Well, not only that. But I have to admit, it certainly was a factor."

I smacked my forehead.

"And you know dear," she said. "You're already behind in the game. By the time I was your age I was already married with two children. You're not getting any younger, you know."

"Mom. I'm twenty-six."

"Exactly my point dear. Do you know how much harder it is to get married after thirty? They've done studies on it you know."

"Can we just drop it already?"

"Fine. Just make sure you get your entry in by Saturday."

My jaw dropped. "You're kidding right?"

"What do you mean?"

"I am not going to enter that stupid lottery," I said.

"What? You must!"

"No. I must not."

"Well that is just ridiculous. You can't just go around throwing away opportunities like this."

"What opportunity? Meeting some movie star?"

"But you know he's looking for a wife," she said, still looking like she was positively in shock.

"Yeah. I heard. And I'm so sure one of these Bridesmaids is going to end up being his wife," I said.

"Well if you never meet him, you'll never know if you're the one."

"Right. I'm the one for Jake Hall. Okay."

"Well, you've got just as much of a chance as anyone else out there."

"Right. About ten thousand to one. Why bother?"

Mom fanned herself with the menu as if she were about to faint. "Oh, I'm never going to have grandchildren."

"Mom. You already have two grandchildren."

"Oh, I don't mean your sister. I mean grandchildren from you."

"Mother, this conversation is over. I am not entering the stupid lotto, I am not getting married in the near future, and I am most certainly not having a bunch of kids anytime soon. Just drop it. Please."

She opened her mouth but apparently decided to keep whatever it was to herself. Thank God. If she'd kept talking I swear I would have walked away. Which of course would have started an all out family feud where my mother and I would refuse to speak to each other until my father intervened and guilted us back into talking. Hmm. A nice bout of the silent treatment from my mother might not have been so bad. Oh well. Next time.

We finished our lunch in silence.

# # #

A few days later, the Bridesmaid Lotto news had died down, at least from where I was standing. Everyone seemed to finally get the hint that I wasn't interested in entering, or, for that matter, even talking about the stupid thing.

Even so, I was not able to get out of watching 'the big reveal.' Calla absolutely, positively, oh-my-God-I'll-hate-you-forever-if-you-don't, insisted that I watch it with her.

"Fine," I said. "But you have to provide the Häagen-Dazs."

"Sure," she said, giddy about the whole thing.

So there we were, me and my Häagen-Dazs. Oh, and Calla of course, watching the stupid Entertainment News.

"And now, the moment you have all been waiting for has finally arrived," the dippy reporter said. She was actually dressed in an evening gown for the big event.

"I have Emma VanHorn, her fiancé Alan Hall, and of course, his brother Jake Hall. They have all gathered in the studio to announce the lucky winners of the Bridesmaid Lotto."

A crowd that had gathered outside the giant studio window cheered in the background.

"In an amazing turn out, Emma VanHorn has received entries from over one hundred thousand women, generously offering to stand up for her at her wedding!"

"Yeah, like she has anything to do with it," I said, shoveling another bite of ice cream.

"Shhh," Calla said.

"I can't believe all those women paid her ten bucks for this. That means she's got over half a million extra to spend on her wedding."

"Shhh," Calla said again and gave me a look that said 'I will end you if you don't.'

"...and here... we... go!" the reporter said. "This computer will randomly choose the four women from the online entrants."

The camera zoomed in dramatically to the computer screen on the wall behind her. She swept her hand over it Vanna White style. A drum roll started out of nowhere.

"The first lucky lady is... Rebecca Singleton!"

Everybody in TV land clapped and cheered.

"Lucky Bridesmaid number two will be... Bobbi Lynn Mayfield!"

Clapping and cheering.

"And on to number three..." The reporter's smile was starting to look like it hurt. "... Miss Jennifer Wilson."

Clapping, cheering, clapping, cheering.

"And last, but certainly not least, our last winner is..."

Calla sat up a little straighter.

"... Josephine McMaster!"

Calla gasped. My mouth dropped open.

"Oh my God, it's you," she said, a little squeaky.

"Please. There's got to be about a hundred Josephine McMaster's in this city."

"Once again here are the names of the winners of the Bridesmaid Lotto," the reporter said. "...Miss Rebecca Singleton!"

A photo that looked like it could be the head shot of a model popped onto the screen.

"...Miss Bobbi Lynn Mayfield!"

This time the photo was a girl in pigtails, standing in a field of wheat. In Daisy Dukes.

"...Miss Jennifer Wilson!"

A picture of a girl proudly winning a tennis trophy came up.

"...And Miss Josephine McMaster."

My high school yearbook photo plastered the screen.

Not a good moment to have a mouth full of Häagen-Dazs. It took about a half a second for me to spray it all over the TV.

~ 2 ~

Calla and I stared at each other, silent. I think she could tell by my ice cream reaction that I was as shocked as she was.

The phone rang. Neither of us moved. Our mouths still hung open.

"If you are one of these four girls, you will be hearing from us very soon," Emma VanHorn was saying on the TV. "I hope you all are as excited as we are."

I finally closed my mouth and shook my head. But how?

The phone rang again. This time I picked it up.

"Hello?"

There was nothing but an old lady scream from the other end.

I took a deep breath. "Mother? What have you done?"

"Oh Josephine," she said from the other end of the line. "It's fate! I just knew you had to be in that lottery."

"What have you done?"

My shock was wearing off slightly and the anger was starting to kick in. Calla was still sitting motionless on the couch, spoon in midair between her own Häagen-Dazs and her mouth.

"Well, obviously I entered you," she said, excited.

"Mom! That is a huge violation. You knew I didn't want to be in that lotto!

"Well honey, if I left everything up to you, I might never get any grandchildren."

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God," I said frantically. "I can't believe you've done this to me."

"What? You should be thanking me. You won Josephine. Don't you realize that you've won?"

The call waiting beeped. "Oh my God mother. You are unbelievable. You don't actually think I'm going to play along with this whole charade do you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not going to be a stupid Bridesmaid."

"Of course you are dear. You won out over a hundred thousand women."

"I don't care. I am not putting myself through that kind of humiliation!"

The call waiting beeped again.

"Why would it be humiliating?" she asked.

"Oh my God. It's like being a contestant on the Bachelor or something. Talk about desperate." I couldn't believe that nobody was getting that.

I turned toward Calla for support. Her spoon still hung in midair, but now she was staring directly at me.

"Oh honey, these are desperate times. And desperate times call for desperate measures."

"What desperate times?" I yelled.

"Well dear, your next birthday is approaching. You don't want to go another year without any marriage prospects."

"Oh my God."

"Besides, you are a beautiful woman. Anyone would be happy to have you in their wedding party."

"I don't care. There is no way you are going to convince me to do this."

Call waiting started going again, not helping my anxiety level at all.

"You have to do it Josie," Calla piped in from the couch. Apparently she was finally regaining her ability to function.

"What? You too?" I said.

"Don't worry dear. I anticipated the fact that you might be a little... difficult about this. So I've come up with a compromise."

"I'm not interested."

"Hear me out," she said. "You know how you've been talking about getting out of the city to clear your head and rejuvenate?"

I sighed. "Yeah."

Actually I had been saving for my dream vacation for five years, and getting more and more burned out as every day passed. The plan was Italy and Greece, see the sights and lay on the beach. You know, pretty much heaven.

"Well, if you agree to do this, I will pay for your vacation."

I was momentarily stunned silent. I'd been hinting for years for her to help me with my vacation fund. In fact, I had flat out said that I didn't want gifts for my birthday or Christmas, just a little money for my trip. But no, she kept giving me a bunch of useless crap like candles and scented soaps and hideous clothes.

"You would pay for the whole thing."

"Yes."

"For a three week vacation?"

"Yes."

Calla's eyes were growing wide. She knew how much I had been dying to go on that trip and that I would do almost anything to get there. She began to nod at me frantically.

I sighed. "I'll think about it."

The call waiting was really starting to get on my nerves.

"I have to go."

"Wonderful, have a wonderful sleep my dear. Sweet dreams of that handsome movie star."

I hung up the phone without saying goodbye, or answering the call waiting.

It rang anyway, the second I pushed the button. I turned off the ringer and sat down. Calla had put her ice cream down.

"Oh my God, Josie," she said. "I can't believe you actually won!"

"I didn't want to enter," was all I could say. I felt like a zombie, too many thoughts running through my head.

"But you won!"

"I know." But really, it hadn't sunk in.

"And your mother's going to pay for your trip!"

I looked up at her. " _If_ I do it," I reminded her.

"Josie! You have to do it!" she said in a squeaky voice. "You can't just throw away an opportunity like this."

"Opportunity? More like a freak show."

"Josie, you're out of your mind. I can't believe you're not excited about this. You're going to meet Jake Hall!"

I'd almost forgotten about that part. I hate to admit it, but a tiny wave of excitement zipped through me. Which was quickly followed by a much larger sense of dread.

"God, I want to go to Europe so badly though." The wheels were definitely turning. Of course my stomach was also definitely churning with the decision I faced. Life was so much simpler ten minutes ago.

"Exactly," Calla said. "And remember, Jake Hall." She practically sung the words.

"I can't seriously do this."

"Josie! Of course you can. You have to promise to tell me every single, tiny detail of everything wedding related."

"But what about work?"

"What about work? People are Bridesmaids all the time and it doesn't interfere with their work. And it's not like you'll have to buy anything. I'm sure the dresses will be taken care of. Oh my God, the dresses. Oh Josie! You're going to look so amazing!"

Ugh. "You know how much I hate wearing dresses," I reminded her.

"But I don't know why. You look so good in them."

"Pfft. Whatever."

"So... are you going to do it? It's the opportunity of a lifetime." She was bouncing up and down on the couch and clasping her hands.

"Why does everybody keep using that word? It certainly doesn't feel like an opportunity."

"Well, even if you don't think so, at the very least, you'll be going on your trip once you're done."

"I wonder how long this is all going to take. I hope they aren't going to have, like a three year engagement or something."

"Oh right, I guess they haven't set a date yet, have they?"

"I don't know. I guess I'll do it?" I said, phrasing it more like a question than a statement.

"Yes!" Calla yelled. She jumped up and gave me a big hug. "I'll help you with whatever you need."

"You'll have to. I'll never get through this without your help, especially if my mother's got her nose in it. Oh God. She's going to have her nose in it isn't she?"

"Yes."

"Crap."

"But don't worry. I'll get you through it. The only thing you'll have to worry about is how not to let yourself get a big head."

"Thanks a lot," I said and shoved her lightly.

"You think I'm kidding, but every girl in this city is going to be jealous of you. Imagine what that will do to your ego."

"I'm sure I'll be fine. Remember, I'm the biggest dork on the planet."

"Well, not _quite_ the biggest," she said. "Seriously though, I was totally thinking about this when I was hoping I would win."

"Really, you were really that excited about it?"

"It's the only thing I've thought about since we heard the announcement."

"Really? Shit, I'm so sorry it wasn't you. You deserve it so much more than me."

"Oh shush. That's not true and you know it."

I shook my head. "Wow. I'm really gonna do this," I said.

Calla nodded and flashed me a huge smile.

"I think I need to go to bed. I can't believe I have to go to work tomorrow. Oh geez, everyone's going to be hassling me to no end."

# # #

The next morning I woke up unsure if it wasn't all a dream. But as I made my way to the door and reached for my morning paper, it hit me again. Like a sucker punch.

I stared up at myself from page one.

"Front page. Christ. Why couldn't she at least have found a halfway decent picture," I groaned to myself.

I dreaded walking out the front door. The answering machine was blinking the number fifteen. Ugh. Fifteen messages. I pretended they didn't exist as I sipped my coffee.

I'd never felt so exposed as I did on my way to work. People everywhere were staring and pointing and double checking their newspapers as I passed. I couldn't believe what a spectacle this whole Bridesmaid Lotto thing had become. I'd kind of hoped that once the announcement was made, the city would stop obsessing about it all.

Wrong.

"Hello Miss Famous," Matt said as I stepped into the office.

"Hi Mattie," I said. "And very funny."

"What do you mean funny?" he said. "You're on the front page of the paper. Of course you're famous. And this is only the beginning!"

"Ugh. Don't tell me that."

"And why didn't you tell me you were entering," he scolded. "You can imagine how stunned I was, telling all my friends how perfect you'd be, but refused to enter, and then there you were. Staring at is from TV land. I swear, I nearly lost it, it was so embarrassing."

"You were embarrassed? How would you like to have your ugly, mug-shot-lookin' yearbook photo plastered all over the TV, not to mention on every street corner in the city?"

"Oh yeah, real tough. You know I'd die to be on the front page of the paper! What I wouldn't give to be the one hobnobbing with the rich and famous."

"Maybe it'll all die down in a few days," I said.

But the mail clerk that stopped several feet away to stare made me think that maybe I was kidding myself. I gave her a wave.

"You just keep telling yourself that," Mattie said. "This is only going to get bigger and bigger."

"I've got work to do," I said, making a face and walking away. I rushed to my cubicle and ducked as low as possible, afraid of what I might do if one more person stopped to gawk at me.

"Trip to Europe, trip to Europe," I chanted to myself. "Keep your eye on the prize."

I was about to pick up the phone when my boss popped his head into my cubicle.

"Saw you in the paper this morning."

Oh God. "Um, yeah."

"Look, what you do on your time is none of my business, but you should know that I don't want this little... thing," he said, waving his hand, "to affect your work, okay? I can't have my employees running around expecting some sort of special treatment just because they landed on the front page of the paper once."

"Um, yeah. No problem Don. It won't affect my work, I promise. And I'm sure it will all die down in a day or two."

He nodded. "Good. Everybody around here is way too distracted over something so ridiculous." He walked away.

Being called ridiculous just made picking up the phone and listening to my messages that much harder. But an hour later, I'd finally finished listening to all the well wishes and I begrudgingly had to admit, I was feeling pretty good about myself by the end of it all. Pretty much everyone I knew had called to tell me how cute I would look standing beside Jake Hall.

Oh God. Jake Hall. How am I going to meet him without falling all over myself?

Of course, as I'd listened to the messages, I immediately Googled him and clicked on the first page listed. The screen lit up with a head shot of my completely secret, never tell a soul, movie star crush.

Jake Hall. Sigh. I am actually going to meet him. I am actually going to spend time with him. I am actually going to make him fall in love with me!

My screensaver kicked in and thrust me back into reality. "Good Lord, Josie," I scolded myself. "What are you thinking? You are not going to make him fall in love with you. You are not even going to get him to look in your direction."

I couldn't help but wonder if maybe Calla was right. Maybe I could start a journal to keep myself grounded. I mean, not that there's really that much danger in my head getting too big. I mean, no matter what Calla says, I am pretty much the hugest dork on the planet.

I pulled out a small notebook from my office supply stash that would fit nicely into my purse.

Dear Disaster Diary,

My name is Josephine McMaster. Josie for short. 'McMaster the Disaster' for those of you whom I had the distinct privilege to go to high school with. That pretty much says it all. People always told me how pretty I was, that I could be a model. Of course, that doesn't do you much good when you walk around with a booger hangin' out of your nose, or toilet paper stuck to your shoe, or trip over... well, nothing. I know, cliché, but all actual events. Somehow I've managed to escape my 26 years without having spinach embarrassingly stuck in my teeth.

I think.

Yes. Better. If I ever thought I might be starting to change, I would pull out my book and remind myself just how excruciatingly human I really was. I wrote Disaster Diary at the top of the page and underlined it.

Twice.

~ 3 ~

I clicked on my email hoping to find a nice little joke or encouraging note from Calla—writing in the disaster diary was kind of depressing—but instead I found a new address in the inbox, e.vanhorn@vanhornholdings.com.

I gasped. Then looked around to make sure nobody had seen me. My first wedding email. It kind of sickened me to realize that I was actually starting to come around to the idea of being a Bridesmaid for Emma VanHorn. I mean, I would be hanging out with the New York glitterati. I might, for a short time even become one of them. What if, even after the wedding was over, my fifteen minutes of fame continued on? What if _I_ became the glitterati!

Oh Lord. Get out the notebook, you're going insane.

I rolled my eyes and opened the email.

Dear Rebecca, Bobbi Lynne, Jennifer, and Josephine,

First off, I'd like to congratulate you all on becoming my Bridesmaids! This is the first of many weekly update emails that you all will receive in your journey as my attendants. I hope to hear regular updates from your end as well. I just wanted to send a quick good luck to you all, but please remember, while we all wish Jake the utmost happiness, always keep in mind what this day is truly about, a celebration of love between my fiancé and myself. In one week's time you will receive your initiation package that will answer any remaining questions you may have.

Please find the attached forms which you are required to fill out. You may need assistance with some of the measurements.

Also attached is your invitation to our engagement party which is being held this weekend. You will need to print it and have it with you the evening of the party as it is closed to the general public. It is a formal occasion, so dress appropriately, and please do try to look your best as the press will be in attendance. I will be wearing red, so I would appreciate if you all would refrain from doing the same.

In conclusion, congratulations, and I look forward to meeting all of you at the engagement party.

Your bride,

Emma VanHorn

A party already? And formal attire? I couldn't believe it. How much was this wedding actually going to cost me? I certainly didn't have the budget for a formal gown by the weekend!

I groaned out loud. Which of course made Mattie to lean back in his chair and peek into my cubicle.

"What's wrong gorgeous? Fame not all it's cracked up to be?"

I rolled my eyes. "Come in here, you have got to see this."

He jumped up, always willing to take an unscheduled break, and stood behind me. He mumbled quietly aloud as he read the email.

He sighed. "You are so lucky."

"Lucky? I have to find something to wear to this party _this weekend_. I don't have the cash for that!" I spun around to face him.

Mattie shook his head and put his hands on his hips. "Don't you worry for a second, Mattie's here. I am officially appointing myself your personal consultant for the duration of this magical experience."

"Oh yeah. Magical. I'm going to magically watch the funds from my bank account disappear."

"I told you not to worry didn't I?" he said. "You're coming with me after work. We are going to find you something gorgeous. And cheap."

He walked away exaggerating the flamboyancy of his walk even more.

"How are you going to find something that I can afford?"

"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Ye of little faith. You will see my dear, you will see."

I couldn't figure out how he was going to pull it off, but I had no other choice but to put my faith in Mattie. I quickly checked my bank account. Three hundred and sixty eight dollars. And I still had to get through a week and a half before my next paycheck. Crap. Mattie better know what he's doing.

Although I suppose I could dip into my travel savings a little since mother has agreed to pay for the trip. Hmm. With a little miracle from Mattie, maybe this could work after all.

# # #

"You are going to look even more gorgeous than usual darling," Mattie said, rattling off an address I didn't know to the cab driver.

"I'm dying here Mattie. Where the heck are you taking me?"

"Don't be so anxious. It doesn't become you," he said.

"Thanks a lot."

"Oh, don't worry. I'm here for you as more than just a fashion advisor. I come complete with lessons on manners, how-to makeup tips, as well as with a full-fledged hair stylist."

"You have a full-fledged hairstylist at your disposal?"

"No." He looked at me like I was the world's largest moron, which given the situation, might be true. " _I_ am a full-fledged stylist, and _I_ am at your disposal."

"Um... okay. So then, why aren't you a stylist for a living?" I asked. I imagined that the money for a top stylist would be far superior to the junior copywriter business.

He waved his hand dismissively. "I just don't have the patience for it. I might have rolled my eyes one too many times at the wrong socialite or something," he said.

"Okay?" I said hoping he would elaborate, but apparently that would be the end of it.

"Oh my God, we're here," he squealed like a school girl. "You are so going to die when you walk in here. But you have to promise not to let anybody else in on this secret. If people knew, half the city would be in here in about a half a second."

All the secrecy only made my excitement grow, though I was a little concerned at the sketchiness of the neighborhood. In fact, I was a little surprised that Mattie would even venture into an area like this.

"It's a little scary here," I said, looking at him for a reassurance.

"I know. The first time I came here I nearly peed in my knickers, but I swear, even if one of us gets stabbed, it will totally be worth it."

"Oh yes, I'm sure," I said. Mattie had a bit of a flair for the dramatic.

I peeked my head out before I dared step out of the cab, and just as I was working up the courage, Mattie shoved me from behind.

"Hurry, we don't want to be stuck standing out here for too long." He threw some money at the cab driver and grabbed my hand, pulling me into the dingy entranceway.

But being inside did little to calm my nerves. "This place is really creepy."

"I know. But I am serious. It is worth it. You just gotta have faith."

I wanted to close my eyes and let Mattie drag me along, but I was scared I might fall or something, and the floor was certainly not the kind of floor you wanted to make contact with any bare skin. So I kept them half open, sort of squinting, mostly because I was scrunching my nose, and trying to imagine that this place wasn't as bad as it actually was.

Finally, at the end of the hall we reached a small, pink door. On it, brighter pink letters spelled out 'Designer Palace.'

"Well this is out of place," I said.

"Yeah, I know. Thank God it's pink though, or I would never remember which one it is."

He knocked lightly. A moment later an older man, small and hunched over, pulled the strange pink door open with a loud creak.

One glance told me that the inside was much more welcoming than the dingy, disgusting hallway. A fresh, clean smell came drifting out of the cheery apartment.

It was a relief, even still mingling with the foul odor of the hallway. The man nodded at us and whooshed his arm in a 'come in' motion.

Mattie grabbed my hand and yanked me in. Obviously he was about as excited to be standing in that hallway as I was.

I blinked. Then blinked again.

I could not believe what I was seeing. Dresses lined the walls. And not just any dresses. Designer dresses. My mouth dropped open and my eyes were as wide as Katie Perry's.

Mattie smiled smugly. Apparently he was pleased with my reaction.

"You haven't even seen the best part yet," he said. "Look."

He grabbed one of the dresses and twisted the sales tag so I could see.

"Two hundred dollars!" I yelled. I took a closer look at the gown. Then the other gowns. They were all designer originals. Some were brand new from this season. But it also looked like they had all the seasons right back to vintage. "But how?"

"I'm sure we don't even want to know. All we need to know is that they are here, and you can afford them. Now, let's find you something to try on."

Mattie immediately went for a gorgeous red silk vintage Chanel gown that would have suited me perfectly and, if I did say so myself, would make me look damn good.

"Remember, no red," I reminded him.

He let out a huge breath. "That diva. What a beeyotch."

I giggled a little. "Um. Yeah. I can see why you wouldn't have done so well in the stylist field."

"Oh shush," he said, and went back to searching.

I started flipping through what seemed like hundreds of gowns.

"Honey," Mattie said. "No offence, but you should leave this to the professionals."

"Oh, and you're the professional?"

He gave me a little glare and whipped his head away letting me know he was not amused. He dove back into the dresses.

I found a cushy bench to relax on and wait for my fashion coordinator to find the perfect dress. It was a little shocking when he returned and the dresses were mounded so high, I could no longer see him behind the pile.

"Did you leave anything on the racks?"

He gave me a muffled reply but I couldn't make it out, which was probably for the best anyway. He expertly laid the entire pile on a small table beside me.

"You seriously want me to try all those on?" I asked. I was not much of a tryer onner.

"Of course," he said. He looked at me as if I were an alien. "How else am I supposed to find you the perfect dress?"

"Okay," I said and carefully pulled the top dress off the pile.

Mattie sat on my bench to wait. I came out in a black Oscar De La Renta beaded sheath dress.

"You are magnificent," Mattie said. And he actually sounded sincere. "You are going to make Jake Hall pitch one right there in the middle of the party."

"Oh nice. You make me feel so very classy."

"Oh come on. You know that's the whole point of this crazy Bridesmaid charade."

"Okay, so this is the one," I said, strategically changing the subject.

"Oh, you're going to try the rest on," he said.

"What? Why?"

"Oh please. This is a VanHorn wedding. You honestly think there's only going to be one formal party before the wedding? Right."

"Oh shit. There are going to be more parties aren't there?"

"Honey, you have no idea. Those people live to get together. I'll be surprised if a week goes by without some sort of pre wedding function," he said.

"Thank God my mother is paying for my trip. I'd never have the money to do all this if she wasn't," I said.

"I don't know why you're so worried about going to Europe when you have a much bigger chance of a lifetime right here. You basically have a one in four chance of marrying Jake Hall."

"Don't you think that's just slightly dramatic Mattie?" I said. "I mean seriously, what are the chances that he'll even actually date one of us?" I hated to admit a tiny ray of hope actually crossed my mind.

"You figure you're going to get another chance like this in your lifetime?"

"As if it matters Mattie. It's not like he's even going to look my way. Did you see my competition? They all look like models. How in the hell did they randomly pick such good looking women?" I was starting to sound a little like I was ranting.

"Oh please. You don't think they actually picked them randomly do you? Believe me; you could fit right in there with those girls. You're just lacking confidence."

I slumped my shoulders. I had never thought of myself as lacking confidence.

"Don't worry gorgeous," he said. "You can fake it. I'll show you. You should have seen me when I first moved to this city. I thought it would eat me alive."

"You? I can't even imagine."

"Exactly," he said looking like he felt totally comfortable in his own skin.

I tried to remember a time when I felt like that.

I couldn't.

I grabbed the next dress on the pile but I couldn't resist one last glance of myself in the mirror before I took off the dress. I really did look spectacular. Yipes, perhaps it was time for another entry into the Disaster Diary.

Dear Disaster Diary,

Everybody was snickering behind my back and I had no idea why. Until, near the end of the day, I discovered that my shirt had been on backwards all day. Nice of someone to let me know. So what's a girl to do when her shirt is on backwards? Well, turn it around, obviously. So off to the bathroom stall I went. The shirt just happened to be a mock turtleneck, and of course I just had to decide to take only my arms out and twist the shirt that way. And then, disaster struck. The shirt twisted and twisted and twisted, but did not release from around my neck. I, for some reason kept twisting. They told me that I was found passed out on the bathroom floor, shirt up around my neck. Yeah. Classy. Especially since it was paramedics that woke me up.

I quickly changed, and as I walked out of the room, Mattie actually gasped.

"Wow, you really are gorgeous."

I think I may have actually blushed. "Really?" I said and turned to face the mirror. Okay, even I had to admit that I looked pretty dang good. It was a Dolce and Gabana that hugged all the right curves. With the deep yellow background and tropical flowers, no one would miss me in it, that was for sure.

I tried on several more, but settled on the first two, and a less formal Betsey Johnson in a light pink that complimented my coloring.

I went to the small counter by the front door, excited about my gowns. I was about to pay bargain basement prices for these fantastic designers. I was still a bit skeptical, but Mattie assured me that everything was kosher. I stood at the till and took a deep breath as I hit the savings button instead of the usual checking on the debit keypad. I hadn't done that in several years and it nearly made me sick to my stomach. I just kept chanting "Mom's paying for Europe, Mom's paying for Europe." The sales guy was looking at me weird, but I had to keep chanting or I wouldn't have been able to get through the process.

Mattie and I left the dress shop bouncing like schoolgirls. I clung to my gowns like they were made of gold. In this neighborhood I knew I couldn't be too careful.

But we made it safely into the cab and headed back towards home. The further we went, the better I felt, safer and even more excited about my purchases.

"You did good girl," Mattie said.

"Thank you so much for taking me Mattie. I don't know what I would have ever done without you. I could never afford these dresses normally."

"I know who can? But I like to think of that place as the secret weapon that will land us Mr. Hall."

"Yeah, okay," I said and rolled my eyes, but truthfully, I was feeling more confident already.

"Accessory time!" Mattie yelled.

Shit. I'd forgotten about accessories, although I remembered I still had a few dollars to spare in my regular account. I supposed I could spend just a bit on accessories.

"Don't worry," Mattie said, reading my mind. "Because you have such fantastic designer dresses, you can get away with wearing knock off stuff for accessories."

"I can?"

"Oh yeah. Everyone will just think you're being trendy. The dress forgives almost anything."

"Thank God, I can't afford any of the real stuff," I said.

We'd finally made it back to my apartment and took my dresses up for safe keeping before we went out for accessorize.

"Hey," Calla said when we walked in. "Ooh, somebody's been shopping."

"Mattie took me to this fantastic secret dress shop; you will not believe what I got!"

"Serious?" she said, getting up and coming over. "Let's see."

I quickly unzipped the garment bags and pulled out my three gowns.

"There is no way you can afford these," she said.

The look on her face was priceless, half in awe, and half worried.

"They were two hundred dollars each," I said.

"Shut up!" she screamed and shoved me. "They were not."

I nodded.

"Mattie," she said. "You have to show me where it is!"

He sighed. "It's supposed to be a _secret_ dress shop. If I keep showing everybody, it's not really going to be a secret anymore."

"I promise I am really good at keeping secrets. Please Mattie, please."

"Fine, whatever. I'll show you sometime. But for now, we must accessorize! The party's only a few days away."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, my stomach began to churn.

"I am going to meet Jake Hall in a few days. Oh man, he's going to think I'm such a loser." I sat down and tried to think, but my mind was racing too fast.

"Calm down Josie," Mattie said. "I swear, you're going to be just as good as the rest of those girls. Except, better. Way better."

"Of course you are," Calla said sitting down beside me. "Who else do you think is going to look as good as you? I mean you have the secret dresses. Plus from what I saw on TV, you're much prettier than them."

"Thanks guys," I said, knowing they were just saying whatever it took to make me feel better. "But this whole thing is just so weird. I don't want it to turn into some kind of creepy reality show where the four of us are all fighting for one man. It seems so ridiculous."

"Then don't worry about that part," Calla said. "Just be yourself. Don't even worry about Jake Hall. Don't worry about the other Bridesmaids. Just go have fun. Keep thinking about your trip."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "You're right," I said, starting to smile. "I won't even let it bother me. My life is good. I won't try to change anything. I'll just go there and have fun. Who cares about Jake Hall, right?"

"Right," Calla and Mattie said in unison.

The only thing that worried me was, what if I wouldn't be able to push the gorgeous Hollywood superstar out of my mind?

~ 4 ~

Mattie spent most of Saturday primping and combing, plucking and tweaking, getting me all set for the big night. The engagement party was so close now I could taste it, and I was doing a really good job not getting too worked up about it. As Mattie did me up, Calla calmed me down. I really was working with a great team.

"If only I could have you guys there with me," I said.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine," Calla said.

"You'll be spectacular," Mattie corrected.

"Thanks," I said. "But don't tell me that. I can't afford to start thinking of this as an important night, or I'll barf all over my Dolce and Gabana."

Mattie, Calla, and I had all decided that it was best to enter with a bang and really knock their socks off the first night.

"You never get a second chance to make a first impression," Mattie kept saying.

Although even I had to admit, I was one hot mamma in that dress. The dress itself was pretty busy so I didn't need much for accessories. A small clutch and fabulous teal shoes were all we chose. Mattie had done a great job on my hair. I couldn't believe he hadn't let me in on his little hair secret ages ago.

"You know, you really could do this for a living," I said checking out the back with a second mirror.

"I know," was all he said, spraying me with another burst of ultra hold.

Emma VanHorn was sending a limo for each of the girls so we could all make our first appearances in style. My stomach churned while I waited. All I could do was breathe and try to stop my insides from vibrating.

"Oh my gosh," Calla said. "Even I'm nervous."

"Shhh," Mattie said. "We're not talking about that remember?"

"Sorry."

"It's okay guys," I said. "At least if we're talking about it, I don't have to think over all the horrid things that could happen."

"Nothing is going to happen," Calla said. "You are so going to look better than anybody there."

"Oh God," I said. "I better not have a nicer dress than Emma VanHorn! She'll kick me out of the wedding party!"

"I wouldn't worry about that," Mattie said. "She wears designer everyday. She probably had something done custom just for tonight."

"Right. You're right. Okay, just breathe," I told myself.

I took several deep breaths.

"Just try to remember that this night doesn't matter. Enjoy yourself. All you have to do is get through these parties, get to the wedding, and you'll have your trip," Calla said.

"Right. It doesn't matter," I tried to tell myself.

The apartment buzzer went off. I nearly jumped out of my skin.

"Yes?" Calla said pressing the button.

"Driver for Miss Josephine McMaster," the voice came through the intercom.

"She'll be right down," Calla said.

I pulled a delicate shawl over my shoulders and headed down the stairs, which was no small feat in the shoes and the form-fitting dress. I glanced back one more time but was not reassured. Instead of watching me go, they were giving each other worried looks. Mattie was saying something I couldn't hear.

I almost turned back around.

"You can do this," I said to myself and continued down the stairs. As I reached the lobby, the driver smiled at me and said, "You look beautiful Miss. McMaster."

"Thank you," I said. I knew he was probably paid to say it, but it made me feel better anyway.

He opened the car door and held my hand to help me into the car. I wondered if it was wrong to wish that he was my date for the evening, being the gentleman that he was. But that dream quickly faded when I spent the next half hour sitting alone in the backseat in silence.

I almost asked him to stop the car and turn around about eight million times.

"It's not a big deal," I kept whispering to myself. "Relax, enjoy yourself. Just have a good time." As we got closer, I closed my eyes and chanted in my head. "Calm down. It doesn't mean anything."

By the time we reached the party, I was surprisingly calm and almost had myself convinced that I could do this. I could make a grand entrance into a spectacular party and look confident all at the same time.

But as the driver opened my door, hoards of photographers, all jostling to get a closer look, surrounded us. I felt like I was in a fishbowl with a million people gathered around, just watching to see if I would sink or swim.

I decided I was going to swim.

I grabbed onto the driver's hand and flashed the most elegant, gracious, oh-gosh-I-don't-deserve-all-this smile that I could muster. I guess the phrase is true, fake it 'til you make it.

Another guy held out his arm to me as the driver closed the door behind me and whisked the car away. He as handsome as any guy as I'd ever seen. They had to have hired models to walk us down the red carpet.

"Miss McMaster," the crowd kept yelling, all vying to get my attention for what seemed like millions of continuous flashes. I put my best, most sincere looking fake smile out there and tried not to think at all. I knew if my brain started spinning too much, I would definitely end up tripping. So I held tight to my escort and just kept moving.

What seemed like an eternity later, the doors to the building finally opened, seemingly on their own, and we waltzed through as they closed quietly behind us. The atmosphere was the polar opposite of the mad house outside. It was completely peaceful and the lights were dim. Soft music was just audible in the background.

"This way Miss," my escort said, and led me down a long hallway.

I loved the sound my new shoes made clicking along in the hollow halls. I'd made it through the paparazzi hurdle and my nervousness was starting to fade a little. I was almost beginning to feel like I could actually belong there. Not one person had looked at me like I was an alien yet. Amazing.

Once again, the scenery did a three sixty when we entered the main hall where the party was being held. My escort and I posed for a couple more, much less invasive pictures. Sort of like at the prom.

A few steps further and a soothing male voice came over the loudspeaker.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, please turn your attention to the front entrance as our fourth Bridesmaid, Miss Josephine McMaster, is now arriving."

All heads turned toward me. It was a miracle that I hadn't been scratching my nose or fidgeting with my dress. I smiled graciously and nodded in a few directions. Hushed whispers followed me as my escort guided me to the front of the room where the other Bridesmaids were already waiting.

Each of the girls was absolutely gorgeous. Any one of them could have made it big in the modeling world. They were all also in designer gowns, though I thought mine was the nicest.

I spotted Emma VanHorn in the center, the lady in red, between us girls and the men that I assumed must be the groomsmen, though sadly, Jake Hall was nowhere to be seen.

"And now for the final member of our wedding party," the invisible voice announced. "Please turn your attention once again to the entrance where Mr. Jake Hall is now arriving."

Much louder applause followed Jake Hall as he walked with his blonde bimbo escort down the aisle. I was surprised when my heart started racing at the sight of him.

I clutched my purse as gracefully as I could in front of me, mostly so I had something to do with my hands besides fidget, and smiled like the other girls as he approached.

For just a moment, our eyes locked. I panicked and dropped my gaze.

You idiot, I screamed in my head. So much for first impressions, bonehead.

The other girls seemed to have their eyes glued on him. Geez, why can't I be that cool and collected? I suppose they're more used to this sort of thing than I am. Except maybe that girl that had been standing in the field of wheat in her picture. Surely she couldn't be some sort of debutante, could she?

We were all seated on a slightly raised platform. It felt like a graduation or something, with all the spotlights on us.

Soon, the announcer came back over the loudspeaker.

"Miss Emma VanHorn and Mr. Alan Hall would like to thank you all for coming to this very special evening."

Now that the guests had also been seated, I could see a TV camera at the back of the room. The logo on the side said 'Entertainment News.'

I'm going to be on TV, I thought. I'd never like the idea before, but since I was looking my best, maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I imagined all the people that I'd gone to high school with seething with jealousy.

The announcer continued. "Before we get to the meal, the happy couple would like to say a few words."

Emma VanHorn and Alan Hall stood up and walked to a freestanding microphone in the center of the stage.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen," Emma VanHorn started. "Welcome to our official engagement party."

There was a spattering of applause.

"We'd like to thank all of you for sharing this very special occasion with us."

More applause. The fake smile was beginning to hurt my face. I tried to relax it a little.

"We wanted to celebrate tonight with my new Bridesmaids," Emma said, and turned towards the four of us. "Thank you so much for agreeing to stand up for me girls, I just know we are going to have so much fun planning and celebrating."

I smiled my most gracious smile one more time, trying especially hard to make it look sincere. This was the woman who held my travel fate in her hands. Well, her and my mother, that is.

The speech droned on a few minutes longer while Alan introduced his groomsmen and the Bridesmaids were all introduced one more time. We each stood as our names were called.

Yup, just like graduation I thought again.

"And, for the moment you've all been waiting for, Alan and I would like to officially announce the date of our wedding."

The crowd grew silent. The cameraman at the back looked closely into the lens.

"We will be married on July 21!"

All the people started smiling and nodding and even applauded a bit.

Good, I thought. Not too far away; only three months. I clapped quietly along with the rest of the Bridesmaids.

"And now I'd like to invite the wedding party to sit around the large table," Emma said as she gracefully pointed toward it. "I can't wait to get to know all of you better."

The crowd applauded again and resumed their drinking and chatting around their elegantly dressed round tables. Our escorts returned from out of nowhere to take us to our assigned spots at the table, and then vanished just as quickly as they'd appeared.

The men were all on the same side of the long table, and the women were across from them. Emma VanHorn and Alan Hall were seated in the middle on either side. Thankfully, I was seated beside Jennifer Wilson who sat between me and Emma. At the far end of the table, were Bobbi Lynne Mayfield and Rebecca Singleton. I thought I would likely get along the best with Jennifer, so I was relieved that we were seated together. Rebecca looked very snooty upper class and Bobbi Lynne looked like she was straight off the farm. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but I just wasn't sure how much I'd have in common with her.

But that was certainly not the most important part. What was very, especially, amazingly most important, was that Jake hall was sitting about four feet away from me. Granted he was sitting directly across from Jennifer, but if I wanted, I could reach my foot out, just a little, and touch him.

I thought I might faint.

"Hello," he said and reached his hand out to shake Jennifer's. "I'm Jake."

"Hello," Jennifer said and shook his hand and introduced herself.

He reached his hand over to me. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

"Hi," I said and smiled. "Josie."

"Oh yeah, I was wondering if you went by Josie when I saw your bio," Jake Hall said to me.

TO ME!

But instead of quietly going about my meal, McMaster the Disaster just had to show up.

"There was a bio?" I stupidly asked.

All heads at the table stopped talking and turned to me. I instantly turned a vibrant shade of red which I could only assume clashed dramatically with my yellow dress.

"Um, sorry," I said bowing my head a little to avoid eye contact with anyone. "I uh, uh... My mother put my name in the lotto."

"Oh, so you weren't even interested in entering?" Jake Hall said with an amused smirk on his face.

"Oh, uh no. It's not that," I said quickly, trying to think on my feet, which was not my strong suit. "I was uh, out of town, and I uh, didn't know about it, so my mother put my name in." I gasped for air since I had forgotten to breathe while I was talking.

The other faces at the table slowly moved their gaze from me and continued to chat amongst themselves.

Eventually I noticed the guy that was in front of me. As I looked up, he beamed a toothy grin my way. I almost couldn't smile in return; I was so taken aback at his unbelievable hideousness.

Of course he's fantastically homely, I thought to myself. As if fate would ever have it any other way.

It was in that moment that I realized, without a doubt, that we had all been strategically seated in front of our wedding party partners. I was gonna be stuck with this goofball for the duration of this whole thing.

Thank God it was only three months away.

"Hi, I'm Eric," he slurred through his retainer. "Eric VanHorn."

Aw crap, Emma's little brother. That's how they see me? The one to stick with the little brother?

"Hi," I said, fake smile wide across my face. "I'm Josie."

"Huh huh, right," he said. "You already said that."

I nodded, smiled, and bit my lip.

"Yeah, when I saw your picture, I was hoping you'd be the one I was paired with, huh huh, huh huh," he laughed, and actually winked at me.

"Oh," I said. I was afraid that I may have looked a little shocked and disgusted. "Well, uh." I cleared my throat. "Isn't that sweet of you?" I somehow reproduced the gracious smile.

I glanced over at Jake and I swear he was chuckling quietly to himself. He met my gaze, which must have looked like a cross between utter horror over Eric VanHorn, and an evil glare for him laughing about it. When Jake saw the look on my face he cracked up completely, unable to keep it to a courteous chuckle.

I started to giggle a little too, which quickly turned into a full out laugh.

"What? What's so funny?" Eric VanHorn asked and pulled out the signature Beavis and Butthead. "Huh huh. Huh huh"

Every time I was close to calming down, Jake would glance over at me and we'd both start all over again.

And then I saw the look that I'd been dreading all night. Beside me, Jennifer was looking at me with that all too familiar alien look.

"I uh... I don't get it," Eric said scratching his head.

That made me laugh even harder.

After Jake and I had finally calmed down, the rest of the evening went by fairly uneventfully. It was pleasant and all of the girls actually seemed quite nice, even Emma VanHorn, who I had assumed from her first email would be a bit of a diva, but she wasn't like that in person.

All in all it was a pretty fun evening, other than Eric VanHorn. I went back home feeling much better about the whole Bridesmaid thing. It might even end up being fun after all.

I came home too late for Calla to still be up. I would have loved to recount my whole evening for her, but I settled for drifting off to sleep with thought of Jake Hall and the moment we had shared at the dinner table.

As I walked down the hall, I noticed that her bedroom door was shut tight.

That's weird, I thought. Calla doesn't usually close her door at night. I thought I might have heard just the tiniest sound of sobbing behind the closed door. I listened closer. Nothing.

Oh well, I thought, I must have been hearing things.

As I got undressed from my designer gown, I realized that my mood was still flying high. Maybe it was time for another disaster diary entry, just to make sure it didn't all go to my head. And I had just the story to cap off a great party evening.

Dear Disaster Diary,

Remember our first boy/girl party? Oh my, what a tragedy that was. Seventh grade. A guy from my class, Robbie had asked me to go out with him the week before. Now of course by going out in grade seven, everybody knows that means going steady. I had never kissed a boy before, and I knew that this party was likely my chance. So off to the party I went, nervous and excited. I even sat beside my new boyfriend. We sat beside each other the whole time, but barely said two words to each other. We pretty much faced opposite directions and talked to our respective friends all night. After a while, he grabbed my hand to hold it. But the visiting with friends continued. The night was nearing a close and some of the other couples had tried a little kissing. Robbie thought it might be a good idea for us to try too. Somewhere in all the background noise, all the talk about French kissing had escaped me. So, I went in for a peck on the lips, and Robbie went in for the slobber of a lifetime. Not that it would have been all that gross had I been expecting it, but it took me by surprise, so of course I reacted by frantically wiping my mouth and saying ew. Everybody was once again looking at me like I was an alien. Boy is the word alienation ever a good one.

~ 5 ~

Work was weird the next day. Everyone was staring and pointing at me like I was some kind of celebrity. Even the people I knew. I was told that my picture made it into some of the entertainment papers and of course 'Entertainment News' had been advertising an exclusive look into the engagement party later on the evening broadcast.

I tried to hole up in my cubicle and not think about it too much, though I couldn't stop Jake Hall from creeping into my mind.

Eventually, I clicked open my email. There is was again, e.vanhorn@vanhornholdings.com.

Dear Bridesmaids,

What a wonderful evening it was last night, no? I had such a great time getting to know all of you and I'm looking even more forward to all the planning and get-togethers.

And now for your first Bridesmaid assignment...

What? There are assignments?

I would like to leave it up to you all to come up with a fantastic Bachelorette Party idea. As you can well imagine, my fiancé Alan will no doubt be holding some sort of gigantic and tasteless display for his Bachelor Party, so I'd like to do something really over the top too. Of course money will be no issue, so please, be creative with your ideas. The Bridesmaid who comes up with the best idea will win a prize.

Oooh, prize. I like prizes.

The deadline for the Bachelorette contest will be Friday at 5pm. We really have to get a move on the planning.

Your Bride,

Emma VanHorn

P.S. The first fittings for your Bridesmaid dresses will begin in a few weeks, so please remember to watch those diets girls.

"Hello darling, oh famous one," Mattie said, coming in to sit down on my desk.

"Where were you this morning?" I asked.

"Well Calla and I were up late waiting for you, and you were taking forever and well, I needed my beauty sleep."

"You slept in!" I said. "You mean I made it in to work on time and you didn't!"

"Well yes. And it shows my dear. Just look at those bags. You'd better wear some über huge sunglasses home. You never know when the paparazzi might show up."

"Thanks," I said unenthusiastically. "Your concern really warms my heart."

"You're welcome," he said jumping off my desk, choosing to ignore my sarcasm. "Whacha got there?" he asked, peering at my computer screen. "Oooh, another wedding email! How exciting."

"Yeah, I have to come up with some Bachelorette idea or something."

"Oh my gosh, that sounds like so much fun," he said. Apparently he was waaaay more excited about it than I was.

"What are you going to suggest?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I dunno, I guess I'll have to think about it for a while."

"Yeah, that's good. You have 'til Friday," he said pointing to the screen. "That should give you lots of time to come up with something fantastic!"

"Pfft. I don't know anything about Bachelorette Parties. What am I going to come up with?"

"Just be creative."

He exited my cubicle in a flourish. But he'd made me even more nervous. I wondered if I should start brainstorming right away.

"Club hopping?" I said to myself. "No, too generic. Remember, cost is not a factor."

I tapped my mouth with my pen. "I wonder if something like hiring a psychic or something would be fun?"

I wrote that one down.

"Oh wait. But what if the psychic tells her she's going to get divorced or something."

I scratched a double line through it.

"Limo? Maybe. Poker Night? No. That would mean it's only the five of us, and we don't really even know each other."

I started doodling on the brainstorming paper. Mrs. Jake Hall, I wrote. Mrs. Josie Hall. Mrs. Josephine Hall.

Good lord, what am I doing? I've got to start reading that Disaster Diary. I pulled it out and read over my first few entries. Boy did it work. I shoved my doodle page back into my purse with the diary.

"Okay, back to it. Maybe something formal, more like a Bridal Shower? No. Too boring."

I sighed, leaning back in my chair. Then it struck me. Yes! That's it!

I hit the reply button on the email.

Hi Emma, Josie McMaster here.

_Thanks for giving us the opportunity to pitch in on your very special occasion._ (No harm doing a little sucking up, right?) _I would like to throw my hat into the Bachelorette Party idea ring with the following:_

Pampering Paradise Party Plan:

  1. Find awesome island paradise location which includes a pampering spa and lots of places to party.

  2. Invite all your friends.

  3. Take off for a long weekend.

  4. Hit the bars and dance all night long.

  5. Hit the beach and relax.

  6. Hit the spa and rejuvenate.

  7. Fly home feeling completely enchanted and refreshed.

Hope this helps, and starts some ideas flowing. If you want some help finding a great spot, please let me know, I'd be happy to assist in any way I can.

Your Bridesmaid,

Josie McMaster

I had been so immersed in my email that I hadn't even noticed Mattie sneaking into my cubicle or hovering over my shoulder.

"Ooh, that should put you in the running," he said.

"Jesus Mattie," I yelled, nearly jumping right out of my chair. "What the hell!"

He backed off, putting his hands in front of himself defensively. "Whoa, sorry honey. I thought you knew I was here."

I took several deep breaths and tried to get my heart to stop beating so fast. "It's okay. You just scared the hell out of me."

"Sorry," he said again.

"So, you like the idea?"

"Yeah, I think she'll love it. She can invite all her famous friends and the paparazzi will show up for sure."

"Really? You think they would fly all the way out to some island just to get a few pictures of Emma's Bachelorette party?"

"Of course they would. This Bridesmaid Lotto is the hottest thing in town," he said. "I'm watching updates every night on Entertainment News. They've got the exclusive inside look at all the wedding related events."

"Really? No wonder everyone is walking around looking at me so weird."

"You're a star gorgeous. And apparently one of the front runners in the 'who's going to land Jake Hall' betting circle."

"What? People are betting on who's going to land Jake Hall?"

"Of course," he said with a wave as if I was a complete moron for not realizing that this was obvious.

"I honestly don't think this whole thing is about Jake Hall finding a date. It's totally about Emma VanHorn getting a bunch of money to pay for her wedding."

"Please honey," he said turning away. "It is all about Jake Hall." He started walking out.

"Um, just out of curiosity," I said, trying to be as nonchalant as possible. "Who is my leading competitor as front runner?"

Mattie gasped. "I knew it!" he said and ran back into my cubicle. "You totally are into Jake Hall."

I shook my head. "I am not," I lied. "I was just curious about who the general public thinks is the competition."

"Pretend whatever you want my dear," he said. "I know you too well, and I know you are so in love with Jake Hall."

"Mattie!"

"Okay, okay. Calm yourself. Right now you're running a close second behind Rebecca Singleton in the polls."

"Really?" I said. "That's funny. He's been paired up with Jennifer Wilson in the wedding party."

"Oh my God, scoop!" Mattie yelled. "You've been paired up already? Who did you get?"

"Guess."

"No," he said, looking horrified.

"Oh yes," I said, closing my eyes and nodding.

"Not Eric VanHorn?"

"Who else?"

"Ugh. You have the worst luck in the history of mankind."

"Oh really, I hadn't noticed."

"Oh stop," he said punching me lightly on the shoulder. "You may have bad luck, but you've been blessed with beauty and brains, so it's not all bad."

"I know, I know," I said.

I had absolutely no reason to complain. I knew that I had a good life. I mean, everyone has a pushy mother, right? It just seemed like any little Murphy's Law situation imaginable came raining down in a single narrow column right over my head.

"Chin up darling," he said patting my head. "You're going to win this little Bachelorette Party contest, become completely famous and win the heart of Jake Hall."

"Pfft. Please," I said and waved as he left my cubicle.

There was one more email I'd not yet opened. It was from another email that I didn't recognize. blmayfield@aol.com. I clicked on it.

Hi girls!

It's Bobbi Lynne Mayfield. Oh my gosh, wasn't that engagement party just the best last night? I thought so. I have never in my life seen anything so extravagant. I felt like such a princess, didn't you? You girls all looked so fantastic, I felt like such a country bumpkin compared to you all who seemed to be right at home.

Anyway, I was wondering if any of you would like to get together and get to know each other a little bit, since we're going to be spending so much time together over the next three months. I am so looking forward to all of it. It's like a magical fairy tale come to life.

Oh brother.

Anyway, if any of you are free for drinks around seven, email me back, I'd love to get together!

Your sister in Bridesmaid-dom,

Bobbi Lynne ;-)

"Mattie!" I yelled.

"You bellowed?" he said, and peeked his head in the door.

"Yeah, hi. Do you think I should go out for drinks with the other Bridesmaids?"

"Hmm," he said, thinking it over very carefully. "On the one hand, they might just be wanting to get closer to the competition..."

"Mattie, it's not a competition."

"Oh honey," he said shaking his head. "Anyway, on the other hand, _you_ could also find out a little more about your competition. Plus the paparazzi might be around, making you even more famous."

He paused for a moment, deep in thought. "Yes. Yes definitely. I think you should do it," he said.

"Why?"

"Other than the reasons I've already mentioned?"

"Yes."

He sighed. "Because if you don't, all the other Bridesmaids will think you're a big giant snob and try to sabotage you for the rest of the pre wedding events."

"That is a good point," I said. The last thing I needed was to put more pressure and likelihood for embarrassment on myself. I had enough of that sort of likelihood all on my own.

I clicked the reply button.

Hi Bobbi Lynne,

Is was nice to get your email this morning, though I thought you had fit in with the crowd just marvelously.

Okay, I admit, Mattie was helping me write this one, in case you hadn't noticed.

I _thought I was the one not fitting in at all. Anyway, thank you for the invite. I certainly would like to get to know you and the other girls better. It looks like we're in for some fun times and I'm sure we can make them even more fun by becoming good friends._

See you tonight; I'm looking forward to it.

Bridesmaid #4,

Josie McMaster

"Good," Mattie said. "Now we have to find you something to wear."

"What's wrong with what I have on," I said looking down at my casual business pantsuit.

"Well, nothing for work honey, but you're a star now. You have to dress the part. You're meeting for drinks with the other Bridesmaids. Collectively, you are sure to be the hottest group out there tonight."

He paused to lean back and scrutinize me. "Hmm. Do you have anything cocktailey?" he asked.

"Cocktailey?"

"Yeah, for cocktail hour."

"I don't know. What constitutes cocktailey?"

"Oh my God, you're hopeless," he said waving his arms dramatically. "I have got to get you a subscription to vogue. It's a damn good thing you have me, or you'd be completely lost."

"I know. And I really do appreciate your help Mattie," I said. "But really, I don't think I can afford to buy any more clothes. I'm already way past what I should have spent, even though I got such an awesome deal on the dresses."

He nodded. "Not a problem, but I am going to have to get into your closet. I'm sure I can put something together."

I shrugged. "Okay, I guess. It's just a closet."

He gasped. "Honey, the inside of a person's closet holds the key to who they really are. And if I know you at all, and I think I do, your closet is going to reveal some interesting secrets." He was nodding slowly with his eyes wide as he finished his sentence.

"Perhaps," I said with a little smirk.

"I knew it," he said. He licked his finger and made a sizzle noise as he touched me with it. "Okay, I'll meet you in here after work."

"Thanks Mattie."

The work days were getting harder and harder to concentrate on. With all this wedding/paparazzi/Jake Hall stuff, my mind was pretty much occupied on everything besides work. But I made it through the day and Mattie and I headed back to my apartment.

"Hello," Calla said with a smile when we arrived.

"Hey," I said.

Mattie greeted her with his usual, "Hello gorgeous."

"We're going to raid my closet. I'm supposed to meet the other Bridesmaids for drinks."

"Aw," Calla said. "I was hoping we could hang out tonight. I'm dying to watch you on 'Entertainment News.'"

"Sorry," I said. "We'll have to do that tomorrow or something. Mattie thinks that if I don't go tonight, I'll be ostracized from the group or something."

"Yeah, you're probably right. You don't want to look like the beeyotch who's too good for everybody else."

"That's what I said," Mattie said.

I shrugged. "I guess. This is all too weird though. I feel like I'm back in high school or something. And I hated high school. Remember Calla?"

Calla nodded vigorously. "Oh yeah, McMaster the Disaster."

Mattie looked at me with wide eyes.

"Oh gee, thanks Calla, so glad you're letting more people in on that fun little nickname."

Mattie let out a little snort.

"Sorry. But it's just Mattie. He won't tell anybody."

"No, I won't," Mattie said. "I will however gain an enormous amount of pleasure from picturing you as a disaster in high school. Oh what you must have been like without my guidance."

Calla started giggling. "It was usually pretty entertaining," she said.

"Shut up," I said, not really wanting to recall all my embarrassing moments just before meeting my three 'competitors' as Mattie liked to call them.

"Come on," Mattie said shoving me towards my room. "To the closet!"

I led him down the short hall to my room and flung the closet door open. "Have at it."

He actually clapped his hands with glee before he dove in. Clothes, shoes, and accessories were soon being flung everywhere. Every so often he would let out a little whoop or a dramatic "yes!" Once he even yelled out a muffled, "Thank God you don't throw anything away."

Finally, he had come up with an outfit that he was happy with.

"Not too dressy, you want to look like a normal person, not a diva. And not too casual, you are, after all, a superstar."

He pulled out my favorite pair of long jeans and a simple, purple, square necked spaghetti tank.

"That's it?" I said, thinking it was awfully plain and boring and definitely not dressy enough.

He sighed dramatically. "Of course this is not it," he said. "This is just the base coat."

"Base coat? Like makeup?"

"No, not like makeup. Well, sort of like makeup I guess. This is just the blank canvas that we will be decorating. Believe me, this outfit is all in the accessories."

"Okay, but I don't really have any mind blowing accessories either."

"Oh, you just wait," he said mischievously. "Now go," he said, shooing me out of the room to change.

I came back in feeling rather bare and uneventful. But Mattie was still as enthusiastic, so I decided to humor him. For now.

"Okay, here we go," he said, as if we were about to set off on a whirlwind adventure.

First he spritzed me with a bit of perfume. Then he somehow swirled my hair up in a funky way, pinning it with only a few bobby pins. He pulled four, long, delicate waist and hip length sparkly necklaces over me and then pulled one arm through, the way you would carry a messenger bag. Finally he'd found an old pair of pointy toed silver boots from somewhere in the back of my closet that I didn't even know I still had. I think they must have been my mother's from the eighties. I would have never, ever thought of actually putting them on, but Mattie had a flair for fashion, and he was absolutely right. With just a couple inches of the toe of the boots visible under my long jeans, they were perfect.

I looked in the mirror and saw a trendy, sparkly, fantastic person staring back at me.

"Mattie, you are a genius," I said.

"Please, you don't have to tell me," he replied.

"So what do I wear for a jacket?"

"No jacket. An off one shoulder scarf," he said wrapping me in a wide wooly scarf with just a hint of shoulder peeking through at the top.

I nodded my approval.

"And for the purse," he said. "It has to be something that you hold in your hand, you've already got enough stuff going on with your shoulders."

He rummaged through my closet a bit more and found a black bag which I had always used for a makeup bag when I was traveling, but he was totally right. It looked perfect with the rest of the outfit.

I came out to flaunt my new self to Calla.

"Holy crap, Josie. You look like you belong in a magazine."

"Thank you," I said smiling and doing a little curtsey.

"Oh my God, I remember those boots from Halloween! I can not believe you are wearing those again!"

"I know. Only Mattie can pull off a fashion resurrection like that," I said, bowing to my fashion master.

He bowed back. "Now if only I could be there to help you socially," he said.

"Gee thanks. Way to bring down a girl's confidence," I said.

"Don't listen to him, Josie. Just be yourself. Everyone will love you - just like we do."

"I'm kidding. You know I love you," Mattie said and pinched my cheek.

"Okay, well I guess I'm off," I said. "Thanks again Mattie."

"Not a problem my dear," he said with a satisfied smile. "It's sort of fun being back in the stylist business."

"Well you're fabulous at it," I said and ran out the door and down the stairs.

~ 6 ~

I went straight to the lounge that Bobbi Lynne had picked and found all the girls there waiting for me.

"Hi," I said giving them a little wave.

"Hi Josie," Bobbi Lynne said. "I'm so glad you could make it."

The waitress was at the table almost instantly.

"Chocolate Martini, please," I said.

"Ooh, that sounds good," Bobbi Lynne said. "I'm going to try that next. Sheesh, if I keep trying new drinks, I'm going to be completely sloshed by the time this night is over."

I kind of liked Bobbi Lynne and her golly gee attitude. It was very refreshing from all the usual cynics.

My drink arrived.

"Well girls," Jennifer said raising her glass. "To the Bridesmaids."

"To the Bridesmaids," we all repeated and clinked our glasses together.

I noticed that Rebecca kept looking around the lounge.

"Are you waiting for someone?" I asked.

"Just wondering where the hell the photographers are," she said.

"To tell you the truth, I was kind of hoping they wouldn't find us," I said. "I'm not really used to all this attention."

"Same here," Jennifer said.

"Really?" Rebecca said. "I've always got photographers around. I'm a model, so I guess it just comes with the territory."

"Oh yeah, I was wondering about that," I said, smiling. "I thought your picture on TV looked like a professional photo."

"Yes, it was," was all she said.

Boy, some people just have a way of making you feel stupid, I thought to myself.

"So Josie, what do you do?" Jennifer thankfully jumped in.

"I'm a copywriter," I said. "How about you?"

"IT," she replied. "You know, fixing everybody else's problems."

I nodded. "And Bobbi Lynne, what do you do?"

"Well," she said with great enthusiasm. "I guess you could call me a starving actress. I moved out here to be close to Broadway. I just love stage acting. But for now of course I'm doing the waitressing thing until I get my big break."

"Well this Bridesmaid thing should sure get you some attention," I said. "I find it almost overwhelming."

Rebecca made a weird noise, almost like a snicker only snottier, as she continued to survey the room. "I have to go to the bathroom," she announced and got up without looking at any of us.

"I'll go with you," Bobbi Lynne said, apparently not phased at all by Rebecca's rudeness.

Rebecca rolled her eyes and continued straight for the restroom. Bobbi Lynne just bounded behind.

"Thank God there's another normal one," Jennifer said to me. "I'd love to strangle that model snob, and that country bumpkin is annoying as hell."

I laughed. "Yeah, Rebecca seems like quite the diva, but I think Bobbi Lynne is kind of sweet."

"Yeah, for about five minutes," Jennifer said smiling.

I was relieved that she'd said it with a smile. Truthfully, I also thought that Bobbi Lynne's hillybillyness would probably get a little annoying after a while.

"I'm glad you're normal too," I said. "I've been feeling totally out of place through this whole thing."

"I know it's weird, right?" Jennifer said.

I nodded. "It's so good to have someone to talk to about all this."

"I know. All my friends are like oh, lucky you, and all that, but they can't really know what it's actually like."

"Exactly! I mean, I don't want to sound ungrateful or anything, but it's just a lot to deal with all at once, and still try to work and everything."

"Totally. Everyone is treating me completely different than they used to," Jennifer said.

"Uh huh. And I feel like I can't even vent about any of it."

"Yeah, like venting about the other girls. I swear every time that Rebecca looks at me, it's like she's trying to drive a dagger into me."

"She does seem a little competitive," I said. "Plus they paired you up with Jake Hall, so I can imagine she's a little pissed."

"I know. That's another thing. I don't know how the hell that happened. It's really quite nerve racking."

"I don't know what's worse, the nervousness of being paired with Jake, or the supreme disgustingness of being paired with Eric VanHorn."

Jennifer burst out laughing. "Oh, I know. That is so unfortunate. What is with that guy anyway?"

"I don't know. He is so creepy," I said.

"Maybe they thought that you looked nice enough to actually put up with him. I'm sure everyone must realize that he's a slimy toad."

I shrugged. "I guess we could pretend that's what it is," I said. "I just hope they didn't stick me with him because they think I'm the nerd or something."

"Uh, no. I don't think so," Jennifer said.

"I really do have a hard time talking to him though," I said.

"I hear ya. He doesn't seem like much of a conversationalist. Maybe they should have put Bobbi Lynne with him. She could keep the conversation going no matter what. I've only been here for ten minutes and I'm already exhausted."

"Really? She's that bad?"

"Well, look," Jennifer said pointing.

Rebecca and Bobbi Lynne were on their way back from the bathroom. Rebecca was walking ahead, eyes straight forward, completely ignoring poor Bobbi Lynne as she chattered away behind her.

I almost spit out my drink.

"What y'all talkin' about?" Bobbi Lynne asked in her bubbly way.

"Oh nothing," Jennifer said. "Just the wedding and how weird this new celebrity status is."

"Oh yeah, I know what you mean," Bobbi Lynne said. "I am getting recognized everywhere I go! It's so fun!"

Jennifer and I exchanged glances. Fun was not exactly the word we had been thinking.

"So, did you all get your ideas in for the bachelorette party?" I asked.

Rebecca sort of snorted. "As if I'm going to bother. If Emma VanHorn thinks she can boss me around like that, she's got another thing coming."

"Really?" Jennifer said. "Why did you sign up to be a Bridesmaid then? Isn't that what Bridesmaids are supposed to do?"

"I signed up for two reasons and two reasons only," Rebecca said, continuously glancing around. "For the publicity, and for Jake Hall. I could give a rat's ass about Emma VanHorn."

Jennifer and I quietly sipped our drinks, and for the first time that night, Bobbi Lynne was silent.

"Mm hmm," I said, feeling that the silence needed to be filled.

Rebecca gave Jennifer a sideways glance. "And I can't believe they paired you with Jake. It's ridiculous, pairing a nobody with Jake."

Jennifer's mouth dropped open.

"Rebecca!" I said. "Jennifer is not a nobody. None of us are."

Rebecca rolled her eyes. "Yeah, whatever," she said.

Jennifer closed her mouth and straightened in her seat. "Well, aren't you just a rank bitch," she said. "And may I ask, what makes you so important. Nobody even knows who you are."

Oh crap. Now it was on.

"Oh please," Rebecca said. "I have been on over a dozen magazine covers around the world."

"Well none that I've ever seen. You must not be very popular in the US."

"I've been in plenty of US magazines," Rebecca said, a slight edge to her voice, like Jennifer had hit a nerve.

"Well, it's a good thing you are doing this Bridesmaid thing," Jennifer continued. "You'll finally get your picture in the magazines from your own country."

And of course, as luck would have it, the paparazzi picked that exact moment to show up, just in time to witness the girls' little tiff.

Cameras seemed to flash from every direction. It made me wonder if they had been there all along, lurking in the corner just waiting for something to happen.

Bobbi Lynne and I just sat there. I think I was in shock, and I'm sure she was too, since she remained silent.

Rebecca seized her opportunity. "Well, I just can't believe that you, of all people, were paired with him. What is it that you do anyway? You're a computer geek right? As if Jake Hall is going to end up with some nobody computer geek!"

"Whoa. Come on Rebecca," I said, very aware of the photos being taken and the voice recorders in our face. "Let's all just calm down, okay? We don't need to do this. None of us think that Jake Hall is actually going to find a girlfriend just because our names were picked out of a computer."

"Speak for yourself, little Miss Copywriting Clerk. Mark my words, I will date Jake Hall," Rebecca said and flashed a glare at me that was likely caught from at least ten camera angles.

She paused, or more accurately, posed for a few more seconds before storming off to grab her coat roughly from the coat check girl, and flew out the door. Luckily, many of the photographers fled out of the lounge to follow her down the street.

Poor Jennifer was looking very upset. "Don't worry about her," I said quietly. "She's just a model with a big ego."

She nodded, taking another sip of her drink.

"Holy mackerel!" Bobbi Lynne said. I was amazed and impressed that she'd had enough self control to keep silent as the scene played out.

Bobbi Lynne, Jennifer and I sat silently for a few minutes and tried to enjoy our drinks. Slowly the paparazzi retreated back into whatever dark corners they had come from and left us alone.

"God, where did they all come from?" I said.

"I don't know, but now I know what people mean when they say they're like vultures."

"No kidding," I said. "Listen, I think that I'm going to head home. This night has turned into kind of a circus."

"Yeah, me too," Jennifer said, still looking a little hurt. "I've got to go try and figure something out for this bachelorette contest."

"Yeah, good idea," I said. "Show Emma VanHorn that you're happy to be her Bridesmaid."

"I know," Bobbi Lynne said. "I just can't believe Rebecca would say all that stuff about Emma. She seems really nice."

Jennifer and I both nodded. I collected my things and made sure Bobbi Lynne got into a cab okay. I was feeling a little protective of her, being so far away from where she grew up. She seemed so naïve.

"Thanks for coming to my defense," Jennifer said. "I guess I'm going to have to grow a thicker skin before this wedding is over."

"Me too," I said. "I'm not used to people attacking like that, both Rebecca or the paparazzi."

Jennifer nodded and gave me a little smile before she got into her cab.

"Email me if you need anything," I yelled just before she shut the door.

She gave me a little wave and a nod. I flagged down a cab of my own, noticing a few lingering photographers still lurking in the shadows near the building. I headed home, exhausted from all the drama.

I knew it. This was exactly why I wasn't interested in entering the stupid lotto.

Calla was still up when I got home. "Hey, how'd it go?" she asked. "Are they all fabulous?"

"Well," I said and flopped down in my favorite comfy chair.

"That good hey?" she said with a little smile.

"Jennifer and Bobbi Lynne are great," I said. "But Rebecca started this whole fight about how she's the famous one and should have been paired with Jake Hall in the wedding party."

"That sounds fun," she said.

"Yeah, she went on and on about how we're all nobody's and she's going to date him. And the freakin' paparazzi caught the whole thing."

"Oh crap."

"Yeah. I felt so bad for Jennifer. She got the brunt of it because she's the one who's actually paired with Jake. And now I'm totally exhausted. I'm going to head to bed."

"Well if it's any consolation, you looked fabulous," Calla said.

"Thanks," I said, giving her a little smile. "I needed that."

Especially after all the ranting Rebecca did. I headed down the hall, still shaking my head at the scene that Rebecca had caused. What a crappy life she must have if she has to start stuff like that.

# # #

"Are you sure it was Rebecca that started the fight last night?" Calla asked the next morning as she read through the paper.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Well, there's quite the diva photo of _you_ on the front page of the entertainment section this morning."

"What!" I ran over to see what she was talking about.

"Oh my God!" I yelled as I scanned the caption.

It read 'She's just a model with a big ego' \- Bridesmaids on attack!

The article went on to detail the argument from the night before. But the newspaper definitely put their own angle on it, totally taking my words out of context. It went on to quote Rebecca saying, 'I just don't know why Josie would have said something like that.'

"Oh my God! I didn't think anyone could have heard that!"

"You actually said it?" Calla asked, surprised.

"Well, yeah. But it was after Rebecca had totally trashed Jennifer, and I was trying to make her feel better. I mean, Rebecca almost had her in tears."

"This sucks man," Calla said.

"This is just my stinkin' luck," I said. "Rebecca makes this huge freakin' scene, and I'm the one who looks like the bad guy."

I plopped down on the kitchen chair, totally defeated.

"I can't go out there today!" I said pointing out the window. "Everyone is going to hate me."

"Oh come on Josie, no one will hate you. You were just trying to help out a friend."

"I know. But the whole city is going to see this!" I slammed the paper down on the table.

The phone rang. I sighed.

"Hello?" Calla answered. "Sure Mrs. McMaster, just a minute."

She mouthed the word sorry to me as she handed me the phone.

"Josephine Gail McMaster!" my mother's voice came through the phone. "Just what do you think you are doing? Are you trying to sabotage this for me?"

I had to hold the phone away from my ear to avoid damaging my hearing.

"Mother. They've got the whole thing totally wrong," I said.

But she would hear none of it. "You've completely embarrassed me," she continued. "What am I supposed to tell my friends at the club?"

"You belong to a club?" I asked.

"Don't change the subject!" she said. "What do you have to say for yourself, for God's sake?"

"Well, if you would let me finish, I have been trying to tell you that they've twisted the whole story around."

"Well did you say those things or not?"

"Yes, but they totally took it all out of context."

"Josephine! How could you?"

"Mom, you don't understand. I was trying to make Jennifer feel better. Rebecca was totally trashing her, and I didn't know that anyone could hear me."

The phone beeped.

"That makes no difference Josephine. You don't just go around saying..."

"Mom, I have to go. I have another call," I said and hit the call waiting. Anything had to be better then listening to my mother go on and on.

"Hello?"

"Oh Josie, I am so sorry," Jennifer said. "This is horrible, just horrible."

"Oh, hey Jennifer. Don't worry; it's not your fault. Those stupid reporters twisted everything around. I can't believe that I'm supposedly the bad guy after that whole scene that Rebecca made."

"I know," Jennifer said. "I just feel like phoning that editor and telling him he has it all wrong."

"I know, me too. But that'll probably just make things worse," I said. "Besides, this is just one paper. Some of the other reporters must have actually used the _real_ story, right?"

"I guess," she said. "At least I hope so."

"Yeah, me too."

I felt bad that Jennifer felt bad. It was no more her fault than it was mine.

Stupid Rebecca, I thought. It's totally all her fault and she gets to play the victim card. Unbelievable.

~ 7 ~

As expected, work took forever. Everyone was giving me the glares and whispering behind my back. As if I couldn't hear them. In the ladies, I had the pleasure of hearing an entire conversation about me. Something about 'who does she think she is' and 'poor Rebecca Singleton. She really does deserve to be with Jake.'

Oh God, Jake. I realized for the first time, right there in the ladies room, that Jake was probably going to think the worst too. Not that I had my hopes up for actually dating him or anything. Except that secretly I did. Ever since we shared the laughing fit at the engagement party, I thought that maybe we had found a spark.

Stupid, I scolded myself. Must consult disaster diary.

After work it seemed like everyone everywhere had caught up on their entertainment news. I was getting nasty looks from complete strangers and I knew people were purposely talking loud enough about me so that I could hear. I chose to ignore them. I mean, what was I supposed to do? Go start a fight? That was pretty much the last thing I needed. I put on my biggest pair of sunglasses and continued home, hoping to remain undiscovered.

I fell into my apartment and curled up on the couch in the fetal position. A few minutes later, Calla walked through the door.

"Hey," she said, throwing her keys down. "Ooh, I guess I won't ask how your day was."

I tucked my head in closer to my body and let out a little moan.

"That good hey?" she said. "Well if it's any consolation, I found out today that everyone in the modeling world knows that Rebecca Singleton is a mega bitch."

I peeked one eye out of my cocoon. "Really?"

Gossip was just one of the perks to having a friend who worked at a fashion magazine.

"Totally," she said sitting across from me. "Apparently you were completely right. It's all about stroking her gigantic ego."

"Aw man. I don't want to be right. I wish I had never said anything at all."

"Chin up girl. The worst is over."

I slowly sat up and nodded.

Calla clicked on the TV. Except, of course, 'Entertainment News' was just about to start.

"Today's top story. Rebecca or Josephine? Victim or Instigator? Sources say that a full out Bridesmaid war has already begun in the now infamous Emma VanHorn Bridesmaid Lotto."

I groaned again and curled back up into my ball, though my ears were certainly open.

There were several disgruntled looking models from a European fashion show that had apparently volunteered to comment on Rebecca Singleton, and what a rank bitch she was. I pulled myself up to a seated position, and leaned a little closer to the TV.

"See," Calla said.

I nodded.

The story continued. They interviewed the barista at the coffee house down the street from work.

"Josephine McMaster has been nothing but extremely nice to me always. Even when you can tell she's having a bad day. And she's a really good tipper."

I let a smile creep onto my face.

Calla gasped. "Oh my God, it's Mattie!" she squealed.

"Josephine McMaster is my best friend, and she is fabulous," he said on camera, standing with his hand on his hip as if daring anyone to contradict him.

"Oh, Mattie," I said to the TV. "You're awesome."

The report ended with Jake Hall at some club in downtown New York.

"Jake! Jake!" the reporter yelled, finally getting his attention. "Could you please comment on reports that say you and Rebecca Singleton are dating?"

I gasped. "What?"

Jake looked genuinely confused. "I don't know who your sources are, but at the moment, I am not dating anyone."

"And, what do you make of this Bridesmaid war?" she asked.

I had been hoping he wouldn't even find out about the whole mess.

Wrong.

Jake let out a little chuckle and simply said, "I'm sure it's all been blown out of proportion." He waved at the camera and graciously walked away.

"Oh man, he is so hot. You are a lucky, lucky girl," Calla said. I detected a hint of sincere disappointment in her voice.

I rolled my eyes at her. "Yeah, right. Because I'm going to have Jake Hall fall madly in love with me."

"It could happen," she said.

"Mmm. Hmmm. I'm sure it will."

"Oh don't be such a pessimist. How many other girls are out there with the opportunity you have?" She was starting to sound a little upset. "Exactly three. That's a one in four chance of Jake falling for you."

"Um. Since when does love work that way?" I asked.

"Haven't you ever seen any of those bachelor shows on TV?" she asked, getting more and more impatient.

"Yeah."

"Well, don't they always fall in love with at least one of their co starts?"

"Yeah, but that could all be an act. It's not like any of them ever stay together or anything."

"You don't know that!" she said.

The phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hello. I'm looking for Josephine please."

"Speaking."

"Oh, hi Josie. It's Emma VanHorn."

"Oh, hi Emma. How are you?" I said, caught off guard.

Calla's eyes grew wide. This whole Bridesmaid Lotto thing had her totally star struck. I think she was borderline obsessed.

"I'm fine, thank you," Emma said sweetly. "The reason for my call is to let you know that I loved your idea for the Bachelorette party."

"Oh really? That's good. I'm glad I could help out. I think it will be really fun."

"I've been really impressed with the way you've handled yourself through all this," Emma said. "I realize that that the press is kind of all over you guys."

"Oh, it's fine. Makes life interesting," I said.

"Well, you've done very well," Emma said.

"Thanks."

"Oh, yeah. I almost forgot. Your prize."

"Oh, don't worry about a prize Emma," I said. "Just being involved with your wedding is quite an honor."

Calla nodded vigorously, apparently approving of my blatant sucking up.

"Well, you might change your mind when you hear what the prize is," Emma continues.

"Oh?" I said, pretending not to be overly curious.

"Well, I just found out this morning that he's agreed to do it."

He?

"Jake has agreed to go on a date with the winner."

My jaw dropped. No. I couldn't go on a date with Jake Hall. Me and Jake Hall alone together? Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

"Oh, that's sweet of him," I finally said, calm as could be, even though I was internally freaking out.

"And Josie, the best part is that he absolutely insisted that I tell him who had won before he agreed to anything. I don't think he would have been willing had it been, well, let's just say he's not too impressed with one of the girls so far."

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

"So are you interested?" she asked.

"Um. Yes. Of course," I said. "Sounds like fun."

But suddenly my stomach was doing flip flops and I knew I would be scared to death for every moment of every day leading up to the date.

"Wonderful," Emma said, sounding genuinely excited. "Jake will be happy. I'll give him your email address so he can send you the details of the date."

"Okay."

"I'll talk to you soon, Josie," she said and hung up.

Calla was searching my face for clues about what might have just happened. I was unable to communicate other than hanging my mouth open and nearly hyperventilating.

"What!" she yelled.

I shook my head. Did that really just happen?

"Josie! What?"

"Um. I'm going on a date with Jake Hall," I said.

Calla squealed. "Oh my God, I knew it! He is going to fall for you!"

"Calla!" I grabbed her by the shoulders. "How in the hell am I supposed to go on a date with Jake Hall?"

"Josie, don't freak out," Calla said, even though she didn't look at all calm either. "It's going to be fine. Try to remember, it's just a date."

I turned away and sat down slowly on the couch. My mind was racing. "Holy crap. I'm going on a date with Jake Hall."

If I can just stay calm, maybe I can get through it, I thought logically. But I knew that logic would probably abandon me as soon as I caught on glimpse of him.

"I'm going on a date with Jake Hall."

Calla was nodding.

"Oh my God," I said, my voice getting louder. "I am going on a date with Jake Hall!" I jumped up, screaming by this time and grabbed Calla's hands.

We both started jumping up and down, squealing like five year olds.

A few minutes later, we began to calm down a little, though we were both still talking a mile a minute.

The apartment buzzer sounded.

"Hello?"

"It's Mattie."

"Hey," I said and buzzed him in.

A few seconds later he flung open the door. "Did you see me? I was on 'Entertainment News.' Oh my gosh. That whole report was awesome! It totally dissed Rebecca Singleton and made you look fantastic! And me too, of course."

"Thank you so much Mattie. You are such a good friend."

Mattie could see that I was flushed.

"What's going on? You're all red."

"I guess you could say I'm a little excited," I said.

"Really, why?"

"Because I'm going on a date with Jake Hall," I screamed. Calla and I started jumping up and down and squealing again.

"What? When?"

"I don't know when," I said. "But Emma VanHorn just phoned and told me that a date with Jake Hall was my prize for winning the Bachelorette party contest."

"Oh my God, you won! And you're going on a date with Jake Hall?" He started jumping up and down in sync with us. "We have so much work to do."

I stopped jumping. "What do you mean work?" I asked.

The other two stopped jumping too.

"Well, you'll need an outfit. Do you know what you're doing on your date yet?"

"No."

"Okay, then we'll need to start with some options. And I thought we'd be able to wait until it got closer to the wedding, but we'll have to bump up the spa treatments. Oh, and definitely a bikini wax."

"What? I won't need a bikini wax for the first date!"

"Honey, this is Jake Hall. He's going to have some expectations," Mattie said. "I mean, I'd do him on the first date for sure."

"Well of course _you_ would," I said. "But I will not be having any kind of sex with Jake Hall on the first date."

Did those words really just come out of my mouth?

"You're going on a first date with Jake Hall," Calla said. "Maybe you'd better spring for the works at the spa, you know, just so you'll feel more confident."

Confidence was sometimes something I was lacking. Especially on dates. Especially on dates with famous movie stars.

"Okay, the works at the spa."

"It's not going to be cheap though," Mattie warned.

I nodded. "I'll just have to dip into my travel money again."

"Yeah," Calla said. "It'll be fine. You won't need your travel money anyway now that your Mom is paying for it."

I nodded. "Although that whole thinking I was a bitch to Rebecca Singleton thing pissed her off pretty good."

Calla shrugged. "But you're in there and you're doing what you're supposed to. Plus, wasn't the whole point of putting you in the lotto in the first place for you to land Jake Hall? Well here you are, going out on a date with him. I hardly think she could disapprove."

"Good point. I wonder if I should call her and let her know."

Calla shook her head. "Why don't you let her read about it in the papers? Then she'll be able to show off to all her friends."

"Oh crap. It's going to be in the papers," I said.

"Of course it is gorgeous," Mattie said. "And that's why we have to make you even more gorgeous. We should get started right away."

"But I don't even know what we're doing yet Mattie."

"Right. Damn. Go check your email," he instructed.

I sat down in front of the computer. "Emma just called me a few minutes ago. I'm sure Jake hasn't even talked to Emma to get my email address yet."

I powered up and logged on to my email.

There it was.

jakehall@aol.com

"That can't be his real email address, can it?" I said. "He must have thousands of fans emailing him all the time if he uses his real name."

Calla shrugged. "Maybe it's so obvious that people don't even bother trying it."

"Open it already, open it!" Mattie said, bouncing he was so excited.

"Do you have to go to the bathroom?" I asked him.

He let out a big sigh. "Come on, just open it."

I wasn't really all that comfortable opening my private email with Calla and Mattie looming over my shoulders, but I did it anyway. They seemed almost as invested in this whole thing as I was. And I definitely owed them for their undying support through it.

I clicked on the link.

Hi Josie,

I was really glad to hear that you had won the Bachelorette party prize. A couple of those other girls make me a little nervous.

Anyway, here are the details for our date. Is it weird that I'm calling it a date if it's a contest? Just so you know, I was trying to work up the courage to ask you out anyway and Emma came up with this idea to sort of let me off the hook. There I said it. Now I'm embarrassed, but I thought you should know.

So I'll pick you up around 8 tomorrow if that works for you. I can't tell you where we're going. It's a surprise. And since you're a girl and all, and I know you will probably freak out about what to wear I will let you know that you can dress casual.

Looking forward to tomorrow.

Jake

"Oh. My. God!" I said. "He is looking forward to the date! It's not just a pity thing."

"You are so gonna marry him," Calla said.

"Calla! Don't freak me out more than I already am!"

"Sorry."

"I cannot believe he's not telling you what you're doing for the date," Mattie said. "Casual? Casual? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Business casual? Jogging suit casual? Club hopping casual? What are we going to do? What are we going to do?" His voice was getting higher and higher by the second.

"Mattie! Mattie, calm down," I said. "We'll figure this out. You're a professional. Everything is going to be okay."

He took a few deep breaths. "You're right. We'll just have to work with contingency plans. Accessorize to the max and carry extras in your bag."

I could tell that the fashion wheels were spinning in his head at lightning speed. Thank goodness I didn't have to worry about my attire. Mattie was certainly doing enough worrying about that for all of us.

All I had to worry about was making sure McMaster the Disaster didn't show up to ruin my evening. Speaking of, it was definitely time for another entry. I could almost feel my head swelling already.

Dear Disaster Diary,

All through high school, I had a crush on this one guy. That's it. One guy. All my eggs in one basket, so to speak. A quiet, shy guy with whom I had a mild eye locking flirtation with, but had hardly ever spoken to.

I also had this friend who thought it was hilariously funny to sneak up behind me and poke her fingers into my sides to watch me flinch. Did I mention I am very jumpy? So one day she did her usual sneak up behind me, and well you know, scare me to death.

Horrifyingly, as she poked me, a tiny fart squeaked out making that sound like a balloon when you pull the end taught and let the air squeal out slowly. And guess who was standing there?

So much for those four years of making eye contact.

~ 8 ~

"Do we have to shop tonight? I'm tired," I said, trying to drag my butt down the street and keep up with Mattie.

"Jake hasn't left us much time to prepare. You've got a whole day of spa treatments tomorrow. Then you're going to have to rush back here so I can color and cut you."

"I still can't believe he isn't telling you what you're doing," Mattie said, in a huff.

"I think it's kind of sweet. You know, being all mysterious. It's a pretty good move. I have to admit, I haven't stopped thinking about what we're going to be doing for even a second."

"Oh please. It's a date with Jake Hall, as if you would have stopped thinking about it anyway," Mattie said.

"You've got a point," I said.

"Here we go," Mattie said and pulled me into a store. "This place should have everything we need."

Frankly the store didn't look like much, just an out of the way little shop. Inside was dark and reminded me of what the inside of an old fishing boat must look like. But the walls were lined with gleaming objects; costume jewelry, hats, purses, sunglasses. Just about every kind of accessory you would ever need or want.

Mattie grabbed a big basket from the front of the store and went to work.

"Just go sit back there," he said, pointing to a wall of mirrors that lined the back of the store.

"Okay, you're the boss," I said and winked at him.

But he was too busy throwing item after item into his basket to notice that I was trying to be cute, so I just went and sat on a big comfy chair.

"Can I get you anything while you wait?" a saleslady asked.

"Um. Sure. Do you have coffee?"

"We have Columbian, Espresso, Latte, Cappuccino, or Café Crema."

"Wow. Really?" I said, amazed that this little hole in the wall was so accommodating. "I'll have a latte please."

"Coming right up," she said with a smile and snuck back behind the curtain that she'd appeared from.

She quickly returned with my coffee, which was surprisingly good. I sipped and flipped through the latest fashion magazines sitting on the coffee table. It didn't take long for Mattie to arrive with his basket of goodies.

"Okay darling. Are you ready for a whirlwind accessory adventure?"

"I guess so," I said, not really sure that I was.

He began to pull and prod me, piling me with this hat, then that hat. He flung necklaces over my head and rammed sunglasses on me so hard I winced.

"It's the price of beauty," he kept reminding me.

"Jeez Mattie, I'm a person, not a mannequin."

"Oh shush," he said. "It's going to be totally worth it."

He put the things he liked back into the basket, and the rest he tossed onto one of the chairs. I thought it was kind of rude of him, especially considering the great customer service we were getting, but who was I to correct him on anything shopping related.

"Okay, we're definitely going with a hat. I'm thinking low ponytail and a hat will fool people into thinking you're hip and chic."

"Thanks."

"Perhaps no necklace, just an understated scarf and plenty of bangles to jazz you up a little. Cool belt. Sunglasses would be too much. And the purse."

"Oh, that's cute," I said looking at the little purse he'd picked out. It was a knock off of a sneaker, with striped rubber around the bottom and laces up the front.

"I know, right?" he said, obviously quite pleased with himself.

He threw an evening wear style necklace and earring set and a sparkly scarf that he held up to my waist, into the basket.

"These will be in case of emergency only. You'll keep them in your purse and if you're feeling under dressed, you can just throw them on. You really be ready for whatever he has up his sleeve."

"Okay, we still have to find clothes, so hurry up and go pay for these," he said, shoving the basket into my hands.

"Okay, okay," I said.

Apparently Mattie wasn't too concerned that I hadn't finished my coffee. He pulled it out of my hand and set it on the table.

"Shopping! More shopping," he said pushing me toward the cash register.

I hurried up to the till and paid for my purchases, cringing again as I hit the savings button on the debit machine.

We headed back up the street in the same direction that we had been going.

"Okay, in here," he said and dragged me in.

"A lingerie shop?" I said. I already told you that I will not be sleeping with him on the first date.

"Oh ye of little faith. It's not for sex," he said. "It's for the actual outfit. We need a bustier."

"Oh."

Mattie rushed around the store quickly scoping.

"Here we go," he said pulling a lipstick red satin bustier off the rack. "Go. Try on."

"Oh, we're in such a rush, we're not even speaking in full sentences anymore?" I teased.

He continued shooing me towards the change rooms.

I was a little nervous, but was finally able to come out of the change room to show him.

"Oh yes," he said. "Your breasts look magnificent."

"Mattie!"

"What? That's important. And don't say that it's not because you know that it is."

I just turned back into the dressing room.

I suppose it can't be a bad thing to have magnificent breasts.

"Okay, all we need now is a coat, some pants, I'm thinking maybe jeans again, and some shoes. No. Boots. Definitely boots."

"That is starting to sound expensive," I yelled out to him.

"Honey, when, in your life, are you going to have another opportunity like this?"

He was right. I was never going to have another opportunity like this. If someone had told me a month ago that I'd be going on a date with Jake Hall, I'd have laughed hysterically in their face. What a difference a month makes.

"That's what I thought," Mattie said. "You are a lucky, lucky girl, and spending a little money on some gorgeous clothes is not going to break you. You're going to be wearing this stuff for years to come."

"And when am I going to have opportunities to wear those dresses again?"

It wasn't like formal occasions were a regular thing in my circle of friends.

"If you get together with Jake Hall, you'll have plenty of opportunities."

I came out of the change room and stared at Mattie. I had daydreamed a million times about getting together with Jake Hall, but I had not thought about what kind of effect it would have on my life. I could be going out all the time, attending fancy parties and award shows.

"Earth to Josie," Mattie said and snapped his fingers three times in front of my face.

I shook my head. Whoa. I was getting way ahead of myself. "Sorry," I said. "Okay, what's next?"

We walked over to pay for the bustier.

"Skinny jeans and a great jacket. Something unexpected. Nothing too, too causal. I mean, you are going out with Jake Hall. It's not like he's going to just order pizza and take you to a baseball game or something."

"That would be fun though," I said.

"Sure. Shoveling shit could be fun as long as it's with Jake Hall, but I'm just saying, it's not likely. You'll definitely be doing something more interesting than that, especially since he is excited to be going out with you."

"I absolutely cannot believe he said that. He must have just been trying to be nice."

"Come on Josie, give yourself a little credit."

"Credit for what? You are talking to Josephine McMaster, a name that in high school was rarely without 'the Disaster' immediately following it."

"Josie, you haven't been McMaster the Disaster for quite some time now. You are a successful woman making it in the big city. Not a small feat."

"Sure. Fine. But Jake Hall? What do I have to offer Jake Hall?"

"Well, your magnificent breasts for one," he said.

I gave him a little punch on the shoulder.

"You think I'm joking, but I'm not," he said with a wink.

"Well, I do hope I can bring something to the table other than my magnificent breasts."

"Ah, you won't need to. The breasts will do the trick."

"Yeah, okay, okay, let's get serious. What kind of fabulous jacket are you going to find for me?"

"I don't know. Maybe we should hit a couple thrift stores."

"Ew. Second hand?"

He sighed. "It's all been cleaned. And it's just a jacket."

"Fine."

Mattie pulled on my arm nearly the whole way to his favorite thrift shop a couple of blocks away. "Come. You'll see."

Inside the little shop it was bright and cheery, not at all what I had been expecting for a second hand store.

"Holy," I said, amazed by the sheer size of the store. And then by the amount of clothes they had.

"Over here," Mattie called, apparently on his way to the jackets.

He quickly flipped through the racks, whipping hanger after hanger past until he finally found something he liked.

"Ah ha! I knew we'd find something," he said.

He had to wiggle it to get it untangled from the rest of the jackets stuffed on the rack, but pulled out a very regal, almost formal looking deep purple fitted velvet blazer. It looked like it should have been worn with a white blouse with a tall lace collar and a broach at the neck.

"But my bustier is red," I reminded him.

"Exactly. It's all going to be very jewel-tone and fantastically unmatched!"

"Okay?" I said, but I wasn't quite as convinced as he apparently was.

"It's all in how it fits," he said and shoved the jacket at me.

I pulled it over my T-shirt right there, not feeling the need for a change room.

It fit snugly, but had a little stretch to it and was still comfortable.

"Perfect!" Mattie said and clapped his hands together. "Oh, you are going to look so good."

He started looking around the rest of the store. "I just want to check something," he said.

I rolled my eyes. We were running out of valuable shopping time.

"Yes!"

He had grabbed a pair of old worn out army type boots.

"Are you sure those are in style?" I asked.

"No, they're totally not. That's why they're so perfect."

"Oh, so I'm going to be the completely not in style date of Jake Hall? Fantastic."

"Have a little faith my dear," he said. "You are going to be an eclectic Goddess."

I snorted.

He pushed me towards the till. I was pleasantly surprised at the price and happily paid for the jacket and boots right out of my checking account.

"Wow, that is certainly one perk about the thrift shop thing," I said to Mattie.

He nodded with his eyebrows raised. He looked like he was about to say 'yeah, duh' but he kept on his mission.

"Jeans time," he said. "And we can't skimp on these. If you're wearing second hand items you must, must, must put it together with something fabulous and outrageously expensive."

"Oh great. So much for my savings account."

"I thought we had already established that you don't need it anymore," Mattie said.

"Well, I need some of it! I will have to have savings at some point in my life."

"Fine, we won't go too overboard," he said with a huff.

We found some great dark skinny jeans that fit amazingly well in the first store we went to.

"Thank God," I said, so sick of shopping. And spending.

"Amateur," Mattie said. "Just wait 'til tomorrow, you'll be able to rejuvenate at the spa. You'll be a brand new woman by the time they are done with you."

"And you're done with me."

"Well, obviously," he said.

I headed back to my apartment alone. Mattie promised he would 'be there with bells on' tomorrow for my new do, and the pulling together of the outfit.

When I got home, Calla pulled everything out of my shopping bags. She raised an eyebrow when she saw the boots.

"These are pretty," she said sarcastically.

"I know, right. I thought I was the only one who thought they were old and ugly. Mattie seems to adore them."

"Really? What's to like?"

I shrugged. "Well, he hasn't steered me wrong yet," I said. "I guess we'll see how they look when the outfit's all put together. If they're horrible, I can always just wear the black boots I wear all the time."

"Yeah. If Mattie well let you leave the apartment in them that is," she said.

# # #

I went straight to the spa when I woke up Saturday morning. I didn't even bother doing my hair or make up. What was the point? I was getting a facial and Mattie was doing my hair later. I pretty much just brushed my teeth and walked out the door. I put on a cap and huge sunglasses, just in case the paparazzi had taken to staking out my apartment.

Luckily, no one looked suspicious.

Le Look was the spa that Mattie absolutely swore by. He said that they give the best massages and bikini waxing was the best in the city. I didn't bother asking him why he knew. I didn't think men got bikini waxes, though Mattie was definitely not your average male.

The first hour was not the calm experience I had been anticipating. I was being poked, prodded, squeezed, tweezed, and waxed. Nothing about it was relaxing or rejuvenating at all. But when they finally got to the part where I got to lie down with soft music and a warm mud wrap around me, things started to look up. They finished off my day long treatments with an hour-long relaxation massage and a mani-pedi.

I had never felt so amazing in my life.

At the apartment, Calla had let Mattie in and he'd already gotten the outfit laid out exactly as he wanted me to wear it. It was set out like someone had worn it and then just melted away, leaving only the clothes.

"Oh my gosh Josie," Calla said as I walked back out of my bedroom. "Wait until you see what Mattie has done to the boots. They look awesome!"

"Really?" I said, scrunching my nose.

Mattie came out from the kitchen in his usual flamboyant way. "Ta da!" he yelled.

I actually gasped. They were like the ruby slippers of the biker world. Mattie had gone over all the scuffs and cracks in the leather with a bright red shoe polish. The end result was still a worn, crackled look, but now the rough spots were dark red and the black parts had been polished to look perfectly distressed. They totally looked custom made, just for me, which I guess they kind of were.

"You like?" Mattie asked.

"They're fantastic Mattie! You are a genius."

"I've been trying to tell you this for years." He smoothed his hair back. "Finally, the recognition I deserve," he said and flung his head back dramatically.

"You are going to look even better than Jake," Calla said.

"Now hold the phone there missy," Mattie said. "Let's not get crazy here. You will definitely look like you belong with him though."

Calla gave him a little swat.

"Now, off with your hat. It's magic time," Mattie practically sung.

I went to my room to change into a button up shirt. I didn't want to risk pulling something over my head after Mattie was done with me.

Calla rinsed my hair in the sink and Mattie frantically stirred some sort of dye concoction.

"Now rip that into pieces," he instructed pointing to a roll of tin foil. Calla and I got to work.

He finally finished mixing three different colors, and yanked my head into the spot that he wanted it.

"Ouch."

"Oh shush, I already told you, it will all be worth it."

"It better be. He better fall madly in love with me and whisk me off to some secluded island where we can have sex for days on end."

"You do live in quite a little dream world there, don't you?" Mattie said, shaking his head.

"Whatever gets me through this torture," I said.

"Well in that case, dream on girl, dream on."

Calla started giggling while Mattie and I were having our little tiff. "You guys are priceless. I can't imagine why neither of you has a boyfriend."

I turned to glare at her, assuming Mattie would be doing the same. But a second later he reefed my head back to the position it was in before and kept brushing on the glop that was supposed to make me gorgeous.

"As if you should talk," I said.

Calla just kept giggling and went to the kitchen.

A few minutes later, I could hear the whirr of the blender through the closed door.

She came out carrying a tray and yelled "Makeover Margaritas!"

"Oh my God, you totally read my mind," Mattie said.

"Am I allowed to drink while you're doing this?" I asked, afraid to move my head again.

"Of course," he said, "as long as you don't move."

I grabbed a glass off the tray. "These aren't too strong are they? I don't want to be drunk for my date tonight."

"No, they're just baby margaritas," she said.

But I thought I saw her wink at Mattie. Maybe a drink or two wouldn't be such a bad thing though. God knows I was completely nervous. Maybe I could do with a little liquid courage before Jake Hall arrived.

"Is it weird that I still call him by his full name? I mean I am going out on a date with him."

"Yeah, you probably shouldn't call him Jake Hall to his face," Calla said.

"Oh man, I just know I'm going to do something stupid, like call him sir or something."

Mattie snorted. "I can just see it now. Would you like to kiss me goodnight, sir?"

Calla and I started laughing. "Well, I see you've found your sense of humor again, oh royal stylist."

"Oh quit," he said. "I had to be serious. I have to concentrate to do such brilliant work you know."

"Thank you Mattie. You are the King of everything."

He began to smile.

"Or should I say queen?"

Calla burst out laughing, nearly getting margarita all over me. Mattie did not find it quite as amusing.

"Very funny. I may be gay, but I am no queen. I am very down to earth."

"Oh yes, very," I said. "You're not at all flamboyant or dramatic."

Calla was pretty much uncontrollable now. The margarita splashing around in her glass was dangerously close to going overboard.

"Watch out girl," Mattie said, forgetting that we had been making fun of him. "Good God, you can't just go around spilling perfectly good alcohol!"

"Nope," I said, giggling. "You're not dramatic at all."

"Oh shut up," Mattie said.

I looked at Calla and sent her diving into the kitchen. I assume so that she could spit out her mouthful of margarita.

"Good Lord, it's like you've each already had five of these," Mattie said, sipping his margarita. "Mmmm. Makeover Margaritas. It'll almost be worth giving Calla a makeover just to get more of these."

I was still giggling, and trying my best not to move.

"There," Mattie said, folding the last foil over. "Done."

"Now what?" I asked.

"Now, obviously we wait. And of course we drink."

"Yup, this is the life. A spa, a makeover, and liquor. Who could ask for anything more?" I said.

"You know, this could be just the start of a charmed life for you," Calla said, catching the tail end of our conversation.

We sipped our margaritas in relative silence for the next several minutes. I couldn't stop thinking about miracles. What a miracle it was that I was even in this contest, let alone about to head out on a date with Jake Hall. I mean, I hadn't even cared enough to enter the damned lotto. Maybe I didn't deserve this.

Then again, maybe it was fate. I mean it was a four in a hundred thousand chance.

The timer dinged. Mattie stood up and clapped, signaling me to get a move on.

"Glass down Josie, time for the fun part."

He rinsed out my hair and got to work with the scissors. The way his hands flew so fast reminded me of Edward Scissorhands. I had to admit, he was freaking me out a little. Both by the shear speed that he was chopping into my hair with, and the danger of the scissors themselves. They were so pointy. I closed my eyes for most of the haircut, just to make sure I wouldn't lose one.

But when he was finished, the results, like he said, were well worth all the pain and horror. I didn't really understand the whole process of the three colors and the highlights and the lowlights that Mattie had been going on and on about, but whatever it meant, it was beautiful. He definitely knew what he was doing.

It looked so good that we decided to forego the hat we'd bought at the accessory shop.

"Wow," Calla said as I came out of my room, dressed and ready to go. "You look even better than the last time."

"I'd better," I said. "The last time I was just going to meet the girls. This is way more important than that."

She nodded.

Mattie gave me his usual, "You look fabulous."

I knew it was more a compliment to himself than me though. Not that I cared. If I had a talent like his, I'd worship myself too.

The buzzer went. And my bladder nearly did too.

"Oh my God, he's here."

~ 9 ~

"It's Jake," the voice said over the intercom.

I took a deep breath and pressed the talk button. "I'll be right down."

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. This is it.

"You look beautiful," Calla said.

"You'll be marvelous," Mattie added. "Just be yourself. I know I give you a lot of grief, but honestly, who could resist you?"

I gave him a hug and gave Calla one too. Normally we weren't big huggers, but it just felt like a huggy kind of moment.

"Good luck," Calla said as I stepped out the door.

I stopped at the stoop to attempt to calm down. I was actually shaking and had to take several deep breaths. Finally, I started down the stairs.

Thank goodness the boots were well worn in and easy to walk in. Mattie really was a genius.

"Hi," Jake said as he flashed me his famous movie star smile.

"Hi," I squeaked.

"You look wonderful," he said.

"Thanks, you too," I said. I think my face turned red. At least my voice had returned.

Sort of.

"Shall we?" he said and put his hand on the small of my back, leading me out the door.

"Sure," I said and finally managed a smile. I could only hope he couldn't feel me shaking.

"So, are you wondering where we're going?" he asked.

"Yeah, I hope I'm dressed okay."

"You're perfect."

Ooh. I like the way he said that, I thought. Not you look perfect, but you're perfect.

I couldn't keep the smile off my face.

"Well, I'm afraid I'm going to keep you in suspense just a little longer," he said.

"Okay." Frankly it didn't matter what we did. I was just happy to be along for the ride.

We got into his car, and since I know absolutely nothing about cars, I couldn't tell you what kind of car it was. Just that is was a little black sports car of some sort.

"So, I feel like I know a lot about you from your bio," Jake said.

"Oh jeez."

He chuckled. "Why do you say that?" he asked.

"Well, the thing is, I have no idea what is actually on that bio."

"Oh right, you were saying your mother entered you in the contest."

"Yeah. So embarrassing."

"So you weren't really out of town when she entered you, were you?" he asked with a bit of a smirk on his face.

I glanced at him sideways. "No," I said and smiled, hoping he wouldn't be offended.

He laughed a little harder. "Actually, I'm a little relieved that you said that. I mean the whole idea of the contest kind of freaked me out. And then the sheer amount of entries freaked me out even more."

"So it wasn't your idea?"

"God, no. My agent cooked it up."

"So you're not actually looking for a wife then?" I asked, looking out the window pretending not to be too interested in the answer, even though I was dying to hear what he was going to say.

"Well, not a wife really. Although I was being serious when I said I wanted to settle down. My life is insane. I'd like to just hang out and relax for a while. The only thing is, when there's no one there to relax with, it's just kind of boring."

I smiled and nodded.

"So your mother? She must be something," he said.

"You would not believe," I said.

"Oh, you might be surprised. You should see my mother. The only reason I'm even an actor is because she pushed me so hard."

"Really?"

"Yeah, she was totally one of those stage mothers that mouthed my lines along with me from backstage. She carted me from audition to audition when I was a kid."

"Wow. That must have been interesting."

He shrugged. "Not really. It was actually pretty boring. The same kids would be at pretty much every audition, which means the same mothers would be there too." He rolled his eyes. "I think it had very little to do with the actual acting, it was more like the mother's being in some sick little competition with each other."

"Hmmm." I didn't know what else to say.

"But I guess I did learn a lot about acting in those years."

I nodded.

"So what about your mother? Is she as meddling as mine?"

"Well, she did sign me up to be a Bridesmaid for a complete stranger, hoping to land me a man."

He chuckled.

"My sister lives in the 'burbs with her perfect husband and two perfect kids. I guess that's what she wants for me too, although I'm not actually sure that my sister is all that happy out there."

"Yeah. I can't picture living in the suburbs, a bunch of kids running around, and trying to keep up with the neighbors," he said. Then he changed to a feminine voice, "Oh honey, the Wilson's redid the kitchen, perhaps we should remodel too?"

I started laughing. "The Johnson's got a new SUV, let's get a Hummer."

"Right," he said laughing with me. "Exactly."

Jake pulled the car off the freeway.

"Are we going to the airport?" I asked noticing which off ramp we were taking.

"Yeah. You're not afraid of flying are you?"

"No, but I am a little surprised."

He laughed. Apparently my face showed the fact it was more like I was completely freaked out. What the hell? Was I being abducted? Although it is Jake Hall, would it really matter?

"Don't worry, I'll have you home by midnight," he said smiling.

"We're going to the airport and you think you'll have me home by midnight?" I asked.

"Why, do you turn into a pumpkin or something?"

I chuckled. "No, but taking an airplane does not really seem like an 'I'll have you home by midnight sort of thing.'"

"Don't worry, it's a short flight."

Oh my God. I'm going to be alone on a plane with Jake Hall. Wait a minute! I'm already alone in a car with Jake Hall. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

"Here we are," he said pulling up to a small private plane.

"I've never been in a plane like this before," I said.

"Don't worry," he said, sensing my nervousness. He put his hand on my hand. "You can ride up front with me. There's really nothing like it."

"Up front?"

"Yeah, I've got my pilot's license."

I raised my eyebrows. I could just picture the headline now, 'Jake Hall in fiery crash with Bridesmaid.' Oh God.

"Don't worry; I've made this flight a hundred times."

"Okay." My voice was a little shaky.

He jumped out of the car and ran around the front. I couldn't figure out what he was doing. So I just sat there.

He opened my door for me.

Wow, Jake Hall just opened my door for me.

"Thanks," I said. He grabbed my hand to help me out. "I've never had a guy open a car door for me in my life."

"Really? That's horrible."

"You're quite a gentleman," I said.

"Well I should think I should be, now that I've scared the living shit out of you," he said winking at me.

I took a deep breath and suddenly felt very calm. Jake did not let go of my hand as he led me towards the airplane. He let me climb the stairs first.

God, I hope my butt looks good in these jeans, I thought.

The inside of the plane was luxurious. Exactly what you'd expect a movie star to fly in.

"Nice," I said as he entered the plane behind me.

"Thanks, I just got it a few months ago. It's kind of my new passion."

"It's really cool that you learned to fly. I mean obviously you could get someone to fly for you if you wanted."

"Yeah, I suppose I could. But the best part of having a plane is being able to fly it. Once you get a taste for it, you'll want to learn to fly too. I swear."

I raised one eyebrow. "Somehow, I doubt it. I haven't even driven a car in about a year," I said.

"Really? How do you get around?"

"Subway, cabs. And when I go back home, I take the train."

"That's cool, I like to get out of the city every once in a while just to get out on the open road. But now that I think about it, I haven't done much of that lately either. I usually just gas up the old airplane," he said. "Geez, that sounds kind of high maintenance, doesn't it."

I laughed. "Don't worry. If you've got the money, you may as well enjoy it, right?"

"The money _is_ a bit ridiculous. I still can't figure out why they pay me so much just to do a little acting. I mean, I don't even work that hard."

"Come on, not everyone can do what you do."

"Well thanks," he said looking at the ground. "It's just that, you know, I do work hard at my job, but really, it's not like I'm out there building houses or saving lives or anything."

I shrugged. "Maybe. But neither are most of the rest of the people in the world."

"I guess. Come on, let's crawl into the cockpit," he said.

"Um. Okay."

"Don't worry," he said again, pulling me behind him.

Luckily it was a little hard to concentrate on the fact that I was scared about flying in such a small plane with him touching my hand the way he was.

But as soon as I was seated in the co-pilot's chair and he let my hand go, my stomach began to tumble.

"You okay?" Jake asked.

I nodded vigorously. "Let's just get this thing off the ground before I change my mind okay?"

"As you wish," he said.

"I love that movie," I said.

He raised an eyebrow at me.

"You know, Princess Bride, when Carey Elwes is always saying 'as you wish' to Robin Wright Penn. Or, I guess she was just Robin Wright back then."

Jake stopped the fiddling he was doing with all the gauges and buttons. He turned to me and smiled. "I use that line all the time, and you're the first person who actually knows where I stole it from."

I turned red. "It's one of my favorite movies."

He cleared his throat and began fiddling again. "Me too. But if you tell anyone, I'll deny it and of course make up hideous rumors about you."

I looked at him, amused. "Well that's a look into the life of Jake Hall now, isn't it?"

He just grinned.

I was glad for the distraction. If he didn't get this thing off the ground soon, I would definitely chicken out.

"Okay, here we go," he said. The plane began to move.

I gripped the armrests and tensed up, pushing back as far as I could into my seat. The plane got faster and faster, and though I wanted nothing more than to close my eyes and scream bloody murder, I thought it might be a tad rude.

The plane lifted off and everything stopped shaking and got smoother, calmer. Even me.

"How're you doing?" Jake asked.

"I'm okay. I'm actually okay. This isn't so bad." I leaned forward in my seat to get a better look out the front window.

He smiled. "I knew you'd like it."

"Hmmm," I said relaxing back into my seat. "So how long is the flight?"

"Just over an hour," he said.

Aw, only an hour alone in the plane with Jake. A momentary flash of getting deserted on an island with Jake went through my head. Not that I wanted to crash or anything, but it might be nice be deserted with Jake, you know, just for a while.

"So are you willing to tell me where we're going yet?" I asked.

"No," he said, still smiling.

I let out a mock sigh and turned back to the window. Jake was busy flying the plane, and I was happy just to sit back and enjoy the ride. I was kind of wishing I could try to forget the fact that the man beside me was Jake Hall. I couldn't shake the nervousness of being in the presence of a real live movie star. And a hot one at that.

Several minutes later, I could see a landing strip coming into view. I hadn't even noticed we were descending. I started to get nervous about the landing, but Jake looked completely in control. His confidence gave me confidence.

It was as smooth a landing as I'd ever had and he pulled the plane off the runway toward the small terminal.

"Here we are."

"Where?"

"Maine. I have this cozy little cabin up here. You won't believe how peaceful it is."

"You've whisked me away to a secluded cabin? Just what do you plan to do with me Jake Hall?"

Oh God. Now I've done it. I called him Jake Hall to his face, while flirting no less.

He started to laugh. "Oh you'll see," he said playing along.

We went inside the terminal where a man greeted us and handed Jake some keys.

"Here you go, sir."

"Thanks James. I'll be back in a few hours."

Aw, a few hours and our date will already be over? Sucky.

"Shall we?" he said and grabbed my hand again.

My stomach fluttered. The nerves about Jake being a movie star were starting to wear off, but nerves over the fact that I was really starting to like him, had only just begun.

Geez Josie, I scolded myself. Get a grip. You've been on first dates before.

The keys belonged to some sort of SUV, again, I'm a little automotively challenged, so I don't know exactly what it was, but I do know that it was big and rugged looking.

"Nice car," I said, then cringed. It's not even a car moron. It's an SUV.

But Jake was being a gentleman and just said, "Thanks."

"It's really beautiful here," I said, as we drove along.

"I was here on location once and completely fell in love with it. I knew that I wanted to make this place my getaway. By the time the movie was done filming, I'd found the perfect place and bought it on the spot. Best thing I ever did."

"I wouldn't have pegged you as the kind of guy that would choose a place like this. I would have thought something more exotic like a private tropical island or something," I said.

He shook his head. "I like to get away, but I still like having everything I need close by. There's a great little town nearby where you can pretty much get anything you need."

"Thank God. I can not be anywhere without amenities. When you first said cabin, I had horrible thoughts of outhouses and no electricity," I said.

He laughed. "Nope, no outhouses, just your plain old fashioned porcelain toilet, and thanks for bringing up the topic of the bathroom. You sure know how to break the ice."

My face turned red.

"I meant that as a compliment by the way," he said, sensing my humiliation. "I like a down to earth girl who can admit she needs a toilet."

"Oh God, that's what you're going to call me to your friends, isn't it? Girl who needs a toilet."

He laughed again. "I like it. Has a nice ring to it."

I buried my hands in my face. "I am such a disaster."

"No you're not, you're perfect. The perfect combination of a lady and a real person. And believe me, sometimes a guy just needs to relax with a real person."

Wait. Did he just say I was perfect? Oh my God.

I smiled. "Thanks."

We drove for a few minutes. Jake had the cutest smile on his face the whole time. Actually, I couldn't stop smiling either. Eventually, he turned off the road onto a small trail. The shadows of the trees engulfed the sunlight, but it streamed back into existence when the forest opened up into a huge clearing with a huge lake, and an even huger cabin.

"You call this a cabin," I said, getting more excited by the second.

"Sure, what would you call it?"

"A freakin' mansion."

He laughed and pulled into the three car garage which also housed several toys, a four wheeler, a dirt bike, a snowmobile, and plenty of sporting gear.

"Come, I want to show you something," he said getting out of and running around to open the door for me again.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the house. I looked around, awestruck by the beauty. But he just kept pulling until we reached a wall of windows, then back outside through a sliding glass door and on to the biggest deck I had ever seen.

"Isn't it perfect?" he said.

He was right. It was perfect. Out his back door was the most peaceful setting I could have ever imagined. The lake was smooth and there wasn't a breath of wind. The air was crisp with just a hint of the fall in it.

"This is my spot. I know that as long as I have this one spot, then everything will be okay," he said.

"It's fantastic," I said.

I could see why he loved it so much, and I felt honored that he would bring me here.

Why did he bring me here? I couldn't help but wonder. It seemed like a spot he might save for a more special occasion. Not that the occasion wasn't special for me, but I was sure that it was just a silly first date to him. Or was it? If it was, he really was a good actor because no one had ever treated me so well.

Stop worrying about everything, I scolded myself. Relax, have a good time.

"So, I thought we could go for a boat ride, and then maybe do some quad-ing, and I've got supper planned for later. What do you think?"

"Sounds like a perfect date," I said. I remembered to when I was a kid and my father took me out on a boat. I'd had a blast.

"Your bio said you like the outdoors," he said. "I didn't even think to double check with you even though I knew your Mom wrote it. Was that completely stupid of me?" he asked with an almost pained expression on his face.

"No, no," I said. "That much is true, well except for the whole modern plumbing thing. I really do need to get a look at that bio sometime though. God only knows what my mother put in there."

He chuckled and held his hand out. I took it. It was starting to feel almost... comfortable.

I could get used to this. I wasn't usually a big hand holder, but it was funny, everything seemed so easy with Jake.

~ 10 ~

The rest of the date was absolutely perfect. Jake took me speeding down the lake in his shiny new ski boat.

"Aren't there any other cabins on this lake?" I asked.

"Actually no. I own the whole lake. So I guess it's kind of like being stranded on an island. At least as far as privacy goes."

Wow, I thought. He owns his own lake. I barely know anyone who owns their own apartment, let alone a second home and a whole lake.

After the boat ride, we went for a long walk around his never ending property. The land was mostly forest, but there was one memorable little clearing where he'd turned to me, not saying anything.

"What?" I asked.

He had the strangest look on his face and reached up to gently pull my head towards him and... kissed me.

Somehow the voice in my head shut off and I was able to lose myself in the moment.

When he let go, he smiled at me, and we just kept walking, hand in hand, in silence.

When we returned to the house, a chef had arrived and was preparing a meal that smelled better than anything I'd ever remembered smelling in my life.

"Dinner should be ready shortly, sir," the chef said.

"Thanks John," Jake said with a smile. He opened the bottle of wine that was set out on the counter.

"I hope you like red," he said, handing me a glass.

"Absolutely," I said and took a sip.

He walked me to the living room with his hand on the small of my back, like someone would on a soap opera. But it didn't feel weird at all.

If it hadn't been for the massive house, the private lake, and well, the personal chef, I'd have almost forgotten that I was out on a date with a movie star.

The meal was unbelievably fantastic, it really was better than anything we could have eaten at a restaurant, plus having an ultra private meal with Jake was icing on the cake. I would have been happy eating at a crowded restaurant, of course, but this was so much better.

On the flight home I began to get sleepy. The combination of the fresh air and the wine was starting to get to me. By the time we arrived back to my house in his sports car I was asleep on his shoulder.

Blinding strobe like lights woke me up as Jake was pulled up to my building.

"Well, I guess the paparazzi found out about our date," he said, obviously not too shaken up over the whole thing.

"Oh shit," I said.

I wondered if the other Bridesmaids knew that my prize had been a date with Jake. If not, they'd be pretty pissed off tomorrow. Especially Rebecca.

Jake was the perfect gentleman and walked me to my door. Thank goodness no one else was allowed into the building, even though the paparazzi, being the paparazzi, certainly tried to push in when we entered.

At my door, which thankfully was three floors up, Jake must have decided we were safe.

"I had a great time today," he said.

"Me too," I said and smiled.

He leaned in and kissed me again. I inhaled deeply, wanting to remember this moment, the way Jake felt, the way he smelled.

"I'll call you," he said and turned to walk back down the stairs, his arm lingering for a moment as he let go of my hand.

"K."

I opened the door.

Mattie and Calla practically knocked me over.

"How was it?" Calla asked.

"What did you guys do?" Mattie said at the same time.

"Guys, guys. Can I get my coat off and sit down for a second?"

They backed off a bit but followed on my heels as I fell onto the couch.

"It. Was. Awesome!" I said, nearly squealing.

"I knew it!" Calla said. "You're so going to marry him."

I rolled my eyes.

"What did you do already?" Mattie said anxiously.

"Well," I started. "He has his own lake. Which we flew to."

Calla and Mattie's eyes got wider.

"And literally he flew. He piloted the plane."

"Really?" Calla said. "I didn't know he could do that." She had the strangest look on her face, like she was really worried that there might be something she didn't know about Jake.

"Yeah, me neither," I said. "But he was awesome. He made me feel totally safe."

"Wow. Then what?" Mattie asked.

"We went out on his boat and circled around the lake, which is how I found out that he owns the whole lake. And then we went for a romantic walk where he kissed me in this little clearing."

"Whoa, back up girl," Calla said. "What do you mean he kissed you?"

"What, you don't know what a kiss is anymore?" I asked.

"No. I remember. It's just that, oh my God, Jake Hall kissed you?" she yelled.

"Say it a little louder," I said. "I don't think the people on the top floor heard you."

Mattie was staring at me in silence. His mouth was hanging open and he looked like he might be in shock. He finally noticed that I was staring at him. "You are the luckiest girl in the world," he said. "Can you even imagine how many girls would kill to be in your position?"

"Well, that's a lovely thought Mattie," I said. "Make me paranoid that the whole city is going to be after me. Besides, it's just one date."

"One date! One date?" Calla said. "You spent most of the day with Jake Hall! The paparazzi have been outside for hours you know. This is huge. Huge!"

"But I don't want it to be huge. I just want to go out on a simple date with a guy I really like."

"You really like him?" Calla said, smiling.

I smiled back, almost giddy. "And not because he's Jake Hall, this big movie star. Because he's Jake Hall, sweet, caring, down to earth guy."

"And totally hot," Mattie added.

"Yeah, and totally hot," I agreed.

"What else did you guys do?" Mattie asked.

"After our walk," I said.

"And the kiss," Calla interrupted.

I smiled. "We went back into his house and this chef guy was there. He made the most fabulous meal and we talked about practically everything, did you know his mother is almost as annoying as mine?"

"It's fate," Calla said, hanging on my every word.

"And then we flew home."

"Did he walk you up? I didn't hear anything," Calla said.

"Yeah. And he kissed me again at the door. He's such a gentleman."

"I told you we should have been taking turns looking out the peephole," Mattie said giving Calla a glare.

"Yeah, that's what I need," I said, "more people ogling at me all day."

"Are you going to go out again?" Calla asked.

I shrugged. "I hope so. He said he'd call me."

"So the outfit was a hit then?" Mattie said.

"Yes Mattie, the outfit was perfect."

"And the hair," he reminded me.

"Yes, and the hair."

"Excellent," he said, obviously quite proud of himself.

"Thanks again Mattie, I don't know what I would have done without you through all this."

And I really didn't. My confidence level would have been at about zero if I hadn't had the clothes to help me along.

"And you too Calla," I said. "Thanks for being so supportive. Especially since I know you were hoping to win the lotto."

Calla shrugged. "I still can't believe someone I know won," she said. But the look on her face said more than that. I could tell she was a little sad.

"Well, I'd better get home," Mattie said. "All those Makeover Margaritas have done me in."

As he walked out the door, I turned to Calla. "Geez, how many margaritas did you guys have?"

"Um, we've pretty much been drinking since you left."

"Holy," I said. "I hope you guys ate something."

"Yeah, we were lazy so we ordered a pizza."

I nodded. "Well, I think I'm going to head to bed. It's been a long day." It certainly didn't seem like the trip to the spa had only been that morning.

"Me too. Too much booze," Calla said and followed me down the hall. "Good night."

"Good night."

Just before I fell asleep, I knew it was time for another entry in the Disaster Diary. I couldn't have myself floating this high, and not even try to come back down to reality.

Dear Disaster Diary,

Alarm went off late that morning, so I was in a total rush. I showered as fast as I could and threw on some clothes straight out of the dryer. They were a little wrinkled, but I they were good passable. I threw them on and ran out the door.

I arrived at school just as the final bell was ringing. I got to homeroom and everything was normal. I made my way to the science lab. The class was completely boring and I was fiddling with my pencil, which inevitably ended up falling off my desk. I reached down to find it, only I found more than I bargained for. A pair of my underwear were laying there on the floor of the science lab! The must have stuck to the inside of my pants in the dryer!

I tried to hide them with my feet, but there was no way I could hide them without making some sort of large motion. I bent down and quickly threw them inside my binder only to look up and find at least four people staring right at me.

The next morning when I woke up, I felt like the date with Jake had all been a dream. I spent a few minutes lying there trying to convince myself that it had actually happened.

"Hey," Calla said when I came out of my room.

"Wow," I said. "You're up already."

"Yeah. I couldn't sleep anymore. My stomach is too barfy. Figured I could use some coffee."

"Yes! There's coffee?"

"Yup. And a newspaper."

I stopped in my tracks and let out a groan. "Do I even want to see it?"

"Um, I doubt it."

I decided I'd better get my coffee before even thinking about looking at that paper. I came back out and sat with Calla.

"Okay, lay it on me."

She handed me the entertainment section. The headline said, 'Jake and Josie Get Cozy: Jr. Copywriter Takes Over Lead In Bridesmaid Race.' The picture was of me leaning my head on Jake, asleep. My mouth was hanging open. It was decidedly not pretty.

I groaned again. "What? It's a race now?"

"I guess," Calla said. "Oh, and by the way, your mother's already called and left four messages."

I sighed. The article went on to explain how I'd come to win the date with Jake and mentioned how we were gone for several hours.

Further down there was a quote from 'the previous leader,' Rebecca Singleton. "If she thinks she's ahead because she just happened to 'win' a date with Jake, she is sorely mistaken," it said.

There was a much smaller picture at the bottom of the article showing Jake leaving my apartment the night before. Of course there was speculation as to what might have happened during the 'several minutes inside the building.'

"God, what is with people? Is this really that interesting?" I said.

"Well, I may be a little biased, but I have to admit I find it quite intriguing," Calla said.

The phone rang.

Crap. Was I ready to face my mother yet?

"Maybe you should just get it over with," Calla said.

I nodded and took a deep breath.

"Hello?"

"Josephine McMaster, I can not believe you didn't tell me about your date!" my mother said.

"Hi to you too, Mom."

"And what's worse is that picture of you in the paper! Good Lord, don't you close your mouth when you sleep?"

"I guess not."

"Well for God's sake, start."

"Mom, I'm sleeping, I have no control over it."

"Well, it was quite the scene at the club this morning. Imagine my embarrassment when all the ladies were congratulating me, and I had absolutely no idea what for. I could have died."

"I'm sure it wasn't all that bad, mother," I said. "After all, your daughter was out on a date with a movie star. Didn't that count for something?"

"Well yes, but you should have seen it. They were all waiting there like vultures, nudging each other so they could be the first to tell me the news. I had to pretend I'd known all about it already, but I'm sure my face when I saw the paper must have given me away. Not to mention that that ugly apartment building of yours was shown too."

"My apartment is fine, Mom," I said. "Jake even liked it."

"I'm sure he was just trying to be nice dear."

"Thanks."

"Well anyway, I just wanted to phone you to congratulate you on your progress, dear."

"That was congratulating me?"

"Well yes. Of course dear. Thank goodness for small miracles."

"Again. Thanks," I said.

"Call me when you would like to get together for brunch again dear," she said.

"Yeah. Sure. Bye Mom."

"Goodbye dear."

"That sounded like a fun conversation," Calla said.

"Yes. She's very disappointed that I sleep with my mouth open and thinks it's a miracle that I got a date with Jake Hall."

"Well," Calla said. "That's what mother's are for. Sheesh."

The phone rang again.

"If that is her again, I swear to God, I will drive out to the suburbs and strangle her right now!" I said.

Calla thought it was best that she answer the phone this time.

"Hello?"

A few seconds later she handed the phone to me.

Who is it? I mouthed to Calla.

She shrugged.

"Hello?"

"Hey Josie, it's Jennifer."

"Oh, hey Jennifer," I said, glad to hear her voice.

"So I saw the paper this morning," she said.

"Yeah. This is turning into a hell of a circus. Apparently the paparazzi were staking out my house most of the night."

"Sick. I have to admit, I feel almost as bad for you as I do jealous."

I laughed, hoping she was kidding.

"I'm in your neighborhood doing a little shopping. Did you want to grab a cup of coffee or something?

"Sure," I said. "I can meet you in about a half hour. There's this great little coffee shop just down the street from me."

I gave her directions to the coffee shop and hurried to get ready. I definitely needed to talk to someone who'd at least have a small chance at understanding what I was going through.

Downstairs, there were still a few paparazzi stragglers.

Do these guys seriously not have anything better to do? I thought. I hurried down the street, photographers in tow.

"Hey," I said, spotting Jennifer and sitting down.

"I see you have company," she said nodding out the window.

I rolled my eyes. "Can you believe it? It's so annoying."

"Speaking of the press," she said. "I heard rumblings that Rebecca is trying to start a whole sabotage campaign against you."

"What? Really?"

"She is so jealous that you're getting more press time than her."

"But I don't even want it," I said.

"I know, but she's got her panties all in a bunch, and I seriously think it has very little to do with Jake, and a whole lot to do with publicity."

"God. I would give anything not to be followed by the press again. Oh what I simple life I used to lead."

Jennifer giggled. "It is surreal."

I nodded. "So do you have any other information about this sabotage project?" I asked, only mildly curious.

I couldn't imagine what kind of harm Rebecca could really do. After all, it wasn't like I'd led a very scandalous life thus far. Although I made a mental note to keep my guard up, I wasn't about to put it past Rebecca to just make something up.

"No. Nothing. But I think she might be trying to recruit Bobbi Lynne to help."

"Really? I'm surprised that Bobbi Lynne would go along with that," I said.

Jennifer shrugged. "I guess she wants Jake too. But don't worry, you and I can have each other's backs, okay?"

"Thanks Jennifer. I don't know how I would get through this without you."

She nodded. "Me either."

~ 11 ~

Dear Bridesmaids,

I have a very exciting update for you today. The first fitting for your dresses is fast approaching! I hope you will all agree with me that they are the absolute most fabuloso dresses ever to have adorned this earth. Please make sure you are at your appointments promptly at the stated time, as the store is making a special effort to fit you all in on such short notice. The times are attached as an Outlook file to make it easier to integrate into your calendars.

Your Bride,

Emma VanHorn

I clicked into the attachment and saw that my appointment was tomorrow. Crap. I would barely be able to get there in time after work. And I absolutely, positively could not justify missing any more work over this 'silly wedding thing' as my boss called it. He was as about as impressed with my new Bridesmaid status as he was with the shampoo I used.

If only my new celebrity status were actually good for something, it might not be so bad.

"Hey," Mattie peeked into my cubicle.

"Hey," I said.

"I thought I heard email being opened. Any messages from the stud?"

"No. But I do have a new one from Emma."

"Ooh, let me see," he said scurrying into the room, taking his usual place, looming behind my right shoulder.

"Oh my gosh, the Bridesmaid dresses! I almost forgot you'd get to wear another fabulous dress. Just imagine, you will be forever captured in the wedding pictures!"

"Exactly," I said. "That's why I am positive that it's going to be some sort of hideous excuse for a dress."

"Oh, shush. You know that Emma VanHorn has impeccable taste."

I nodded. "And I also know that she's not going to want any of the attention drawn away from her on her wedding day."

"Of course Emma is going to want to look better than her Bridesmaids, but she's also not going to ruin her fashion integrity by choosing something hideous," Mattie said.

"I guess we'll see tomorrow, won't we?"

Mattie gasped. "Oh my God, can I come with you?"

"I hadn't really meant the 'we' as in we'll both go see, but I probably would need a little moral support. If the dress was hideous, I was going to need somebody there to remind me why I was doing this in the first place. Wait, why am I doing this in the first place?" I asked.

"Because you are fabulous and Jake Hall is in the middle of falling madly in love with you."

"No, that's not it."

"Oh right," Mattie said looking rather frustrated with me. "Your silly little trip to Europe."

"Yes. That's right. There is a real, concrete reason. Not some head in the clouds movie star fairy tale."

He left the room without arguing though the look on his face said that he did not agree with me.

# # #

That night Calla and I decided a quiet night in was on the menu along with some Chinese and a little stargazing on 'Entertainment News.'

I happily munched my Chow Mein.

"Stay tuned for some scandalous, never before seen footage in the latest Bridesmaid Lotto extravaganza, next on 'Entertainment News,'" the show host announced.

I groaned and reached for the remote. I'd had about all the Bridesmaid scandal I could take.

"No!" Calla cried. "I want to see if it's about you."

"It's not about me, I haven't done anything remotely scandalous," I said.

"Oh yeah, except go out on a date with Jake Hall."

"How is that a scandal?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I don't know. But if it is about you, don't you think that you'd want to know?"

"Not really," I said.

"Oh shush," she said and yanked the remote out of my hand.

I hated to admit it, but I might have been just the tiniest bit curious, not to mention hopeful that it might be some big scandal about Rebecca.

Just as I had shoved my mouth full, the screen filled with an overhead picture of Jake and I in the clearing at his cabin, kissing.

I nearly choked on my chow mein.

"Reports of a new romance were confirmed today when this footage of Jake Hall, seen with Lotto Bridesmaid, Josephine McMaster was released. It looks as though the two have become very cozy in a short time. This footage was taken above the private residence of Jake Hall."

"Oh my God Josie," Calla said. "Oh, look at you. You look so good together!"

"No, no, no, no, no!" I cried. "This can't be happening!"

"What's wrong?" Calla asked. "I'd just die to have something like that happen to me."

"Oh God, Jake's going to see this!"

"Uh, I think he already knows," Calla said.

"I know that," I said. "But now there's all this speculation from the world. I mean, it was one tiny date. Who knows how he really feels about me. I don't even know what I feel about him. Now we have to answer to the world what is going on in our relationship, and I don't even know if there is a relationship yet."

Calla was nodding but I could tell I wasn't convincing her.

The woman on TV continued. "So far no comment has been issued by publicists for either party."

"Publicist? I don't have a publicist," I said. I turned to Calla. "Do I need a publicist?"

I was still staring at her hoping for an answer, when the phone rang.

"Oh great," I said, tempted to leave it.

But I picked it up. "Hello?"

"Josephine McMaster!" my mother wailed. "What are you doing to me?"

"What do you mean? I thought you were all happy that I went out with Jake."

"Well yes, when I thought you just went out with him. Now the whole world knows that you kiss on the first date!"

"Mother, we are in the twenty-first century here. Everybody kisses on the first date."

"Oh no they most certainly do not! I am not that old! I am not that far out of touch."

"Whatever mother, it's not like I slept with him or anything."

"So you say, but the press is going to have a field day with all this. Who knows what kind of a jezebel they will make you out to be?"

"Okay, nobody uses the word jezebel anymore, mom."

Calla burst out laughing.

"What am I going to tell the ladies this time?" my mother asked.

"I don't know mother, maybe you should have thought about all this before you entered me in the lotto."

"Or perhaps I should have raised my daughter properly," she said.

"I'm hanging up now mom," I said.

"Oh no you don't Josephine..." was all I heard before the satisfying beep of me pressing the end button.

"Oooh, she's not going to like that," Calla said.

"No. No she won't."

I turned off the ringer. No doubt it wouldn't be the last phone call I'd be receiving about 'Entertainment News.'

My computer beeped, signaling a new email.

jakehall@aol.com

I clicked it faster than you could say 'hot Hollywood hunk.'

Hi Josie,

I tried calling but didn't get an answer. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about this whole mess. You are new to the paparazzi and I should have known better than to get you this involved. I can't believe they even found us. I didn't think anyone even knew where my cabin was. And I didn't hear any helicopters, did you? I guess the zoom lenses are getting better and better all the time.

Anyway, I hope you will forgive me,

Jake

"He's so sweet," Calla said.

I wondered if I'd ever be able to read another email without someone looming over my shoulder.

"I can't believe he's apologizing to me. I should be the one apologizing to him."

"Why?" Calla asked.

"Because it was just a prize. I shouldn't have even kissed him. It wasn't really a real date."

"Oh please Josie, I read your last email from him. It was a date. You may not want to think of it that way, all the pressure and stuff, but it was a date. He wanted to go out with you. He took you to his home. He kissed you. And now he's apologizing to you!"

"But, but... he's Jake Hall. And I'm just Josie McMaster."

"Yes you are Josie McMaster, my friend, Josie McMaster. Quit putting yourself down so much already, you're insulting everyone who loves you."

I bowed my head. "Sorry, I didn't think of it that way. It's just that this is all so glamorous. Not at all how I picture myself."

"I know, I know, McMaster the Disaster. Well, get over it already. You are practically Jake Hall's girlfriend."

"Don't say that!" I gasped. I hadn't even let myself think it, and here she was saying it out loud.

"Why? It could happen," she said.

"If I actually start to believe that something like that could happen to me, and then it doesn't, I wouldn't be able to function. Each day would be too mundane to imagine."

"Or you could just let it happen. I mean, what is there to lose? Every girl dreams of having someone famous fall for them. It's not very often that something like that comes along. Enjoy the ride."

"I guess I'll try," I said, though I still had the feeling that somehow just thinking something could happen with Jake was totally jinxing it all.

# # #

Work was surreal the next day. That whole 'stand around the corner and whisper while pointing' thing started all over again after the footage of the Jake Hall kiss. It was as if I was some sort of chosen one and no one was worthy of talking to me or something.

I didn't leave the safety of my cubicle all day.

"You have to eat something," Mattie said carrying a bag from the sandwich shop downstairs.

"Thanks Mattie, I just couldn't bring myself to face the world," I said.

"Well you better get used to it honey, because when you're dating Jake Hall, this is what your life will be like."

"I'm sure it will settle down."

"Oh yeah? Do you think it settled down for Tom and Katie, Angelina and Brad?"

"But that's different, they're both famous in those couples," I pointed out.

"You don't think this Bridesmaid Lotto has made you famous all on your own?"

"Not like they are. It's just a silly contest."

"But it's almost like a reality TV show with all the press it's getting. Do you know what 'Entertainment News' has paid just for exclusive rights to the actual ceremony?"

"I don't want to know," I said.

"Millions honey. Millions. And let me tell you, that has very little to do with Emma VanHorn and a lot to do with Jake Hall."

I nodded. "I'm in way over my head."

"You are not! You're fabulous. You just have to learn how to deal with all the press stuff."

"What if I don't want to deal with it?"

"Well, then you get to go back to your old life. No more Jake Hall," he said bluntly.

I sighed. I wasn't quite ready to give up my Jake Hall dream just yet.

"I wish he wasn't a freakin' movie star," I said.

The comment apparently surprised Mattie. "Then what would be the point of all this?" he asked.

"I didn't want to be a part of all this in the first place," I reminded him. "And now that I've gotten to know Jake a little bit, I just wish he was a normal guy."

Mattie and I snuck out of work a few minutes early, to get to the fitting on time. I prayed that my boss wouldn't notice. We arrived at the dress shop exactly to the minute of the appointment.

"Hello," the tallest woman I had ever seen greeted us. "Let me take your coats," she said.

Somehow knowing the drill, Mattie already had his off. The lady disappeared with them. Several minutes later a very stern looking lady came rushing toward us in a flurry of crimson satin.

"Here we are, now get into that change room and get dressed."

I stood there, momentarily stunned by the starkness of this woman.

"Chop, chop!" she demanded.

"This is the dress?" I asked politely.

She stared at me as if I'd just uttered something completely incomprehensible.

Finally she barked, "yes."

I went to the back of the store to find a change room with the help of Mattie who was pushing a little, out of fear for my safety, I think.

"To your right," the stark lady bellowed from behind us.

The dress was a simple A line. Very elegant. I breathed a sigh of relief. I rushed into the change room to try it on.

I heard another change room open and someone come out.

"This is disgusting," a vaguely familiar voice said. "This color looks like shit with my skin tone."

"Oh, you look wonderful dear. And there won't even be much altering," another voice said.

"For God's sake, open your eyes woman, this dress is hideous. It looks like she picked it out of some sort of Santa Claus workshop line."

I was ready to come out and show Mattie my dress, but as I was opening the change room door, I realized, too late, why the voice was familiar.

Rebecca.

"Oh, uh, hi Rebecca," I said.

She whipped her head around without changing the disgusted look from her face. When she saw me, she raised her chin just a little so she could look down on me.

"Josie," she said with a curt nod. "Can you believe the hideousness of these?" She tugged on her dress like it was a cotton T-shirt.

"I actually thought they were nice," I said quietly.

Mattie came over. "You look great," he said to me.

"Who's that?" Rebecca asked, still disgusted.

"Rebecca," I said, "this is my good friend, Mattie."

"Lovely to meet you Rebecca," Mattie said, taking a step toward her and extending his hand.

"Humph," she said, tilting her head even higher to look further down at us. She ignored his outstretched hand and turned back toward the mirror.

"Well, she's friendly," Mattie whispered.

I nodded.

"How are we doing?" the stern lady came rushing into view. "Oh yes, this is nice," she said as she made slight adjustments to me. "Seamstress?" she yelled so loud I thought the people at the restaurant down the street might have heard.

A tiny lady with reading glasses appeared and ran with tiny steps toward me. The two ladies circled me again and again trying to decide the best way to go about the alterations. When they were done with me, they turned to Rebecca.

"I was here first, you know," she said with her hand on her hip.

The stern lady's only reaction was a couple of tsks. She sent the seamstress circling around. As they were making their laps around Rebecca, the lady turned to me.

"Are you going to change?" she asked.

"Oh, uh, yeah, sorry," I said and rushed back into my change room.

As we walked out the store I turned to Mattie. "What was the tall chick? I hope I don't have to see her again."

Mattie shook his head at me. "Oh Josie," he said, patting me on the head. "You are so naïve. That lady is the foremost wedding planner in the city. Believe me, you will definitely be seeing her again."

My shoulders slunk a little and I sighed. "Great. Now I've pissed off the wedding planner."

"Pissed off?" Mattie said. "You jumped at her every move, she probably loves you."

"Ugh. I know. What is wrong with me?"

"Believe me, it's a good thing that you did," Mattie said. "I heard that one time, at some upscale Hampton's wedding, this one Bridesmaid got the flu and Millicent Munroe forced her to go in the wedding anyway, and then pushed her when she puked all over the Bride's train."

"Oh my God. How does she still have a job?"

"Because she is the best. Very much a perfectionist, which I guess is what you want in a wedding planner."

"I wonder if she was the one who picked out the dresses," I said.

"I'm sure she had a hand in it," Mattie said. "And if she did, ol' Rebecca is not going to fare very well with that alteration." He started to giggle a little.

"Serves her right," I said.

~ 12 ~

A few days passed without any news about the wedding. Mattie kept invading my cubicle, waiting with less patience than me. Actually I wasn't all that excited about any more wedding news. I was much more interested in what Jake was up to.

I was a little surprised that I hadn't heard a peep from him since the whole kissing scandal. That apologetic email was the last contact I'd had.

I checked my email, waiting, hoping, needing to see that email address. But instead only Emma's was in my inbox.

Dear Bridesmaids,

Two super exciting announcements for you today. We have put together a schedule for the amazing stagette that Josie came up with during the contest. We will be heading out to the Virgin Islands for the long weekend. This will give us three fun filled days of sun, surf, spa, and spritzers!

But before that, my mother has insisted that we have one more formal gathering. This will be held on Thursday, the day before we leave on our little trip. This glamour filled evening is a very formal occasion, held mostly for our parent's friends. It is a tradition among their crowd to have this sort of last hurrah before any wedding. Please dress appropriately and be sure you are on your best behavior as this crowd is VERY sophisticated.

See you Thursday girls!

Your Bride,

Emma VanHorn

My mood instantly lightened. I would be able to see Jake again, although I was almost starting to wonder if he even cared to see me again.

As usual, Mattie came calling at my cubicle to get the big wedding scoop.

"See? What'd I tell you? I told you you'd need that other dress. You are going to knock Jake's socks off in that little black Oscar de la Renta."

"I did look good in that one, didn't I?" I said.

"Good? Honey, you were spectacular."

"You always know what to say to make me feel better."

"Do I detect a hint of gloom in you today?" Mattie asked. "You should be on top of the world right now."

I shrugged. "Not gloom really. I'm just a little disappointed that Jake hasn't called or emailed me again."

"Well, don't worry, you'll see him on Thursday, and in that dress no less," Mattie said.

# # #

At home that night Calla was looking a little gloomy herself.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"I dunno. I'm just feeling a little lonely I guess," she said. "I'm so used to having you around all the time that I miss you when you're gone shopping and partying with the rich and famous."

"Sorry I've been gone so much." I hadn't even thought about what all this would be like for Calla. "I promise, when this is all over, everything will get back to normal again," I continued.

"Okay," she said with a little smile. "Hey, do you have anything on this weekend? Maybe we could do something fun. Since it's a long weekend, you must be free at least one night," she said.

The way she said it was lighthearted, but it made me feel like total crap, especially considering I was jetting off to a luxury resort for the weekend.

"Um. Actually..."

Her excited expression fell.

"Emma has the stagette planned for this weekend."

"The whole weekend?" Calla asked.

"Yeah, we're um, kind of going away to the Virgin Islands," I said quietly.

Her mouth dropped open. I hoped she could tell I was feeling bad about the whole thing. She closed her mouth again. "That's okay, we'll do something the next weekend," she said and walked towards her room.

"...if you can."

I had anticipated that this Bridesmaid thing would take up a lot of time, but I hadn't even thought about Calla. What kind of a crappy friend was I?

Plus she couldn't be happy about all the time I had been spending with Mattie. He used to just be a work friend who'd tag along when Calla and I went out. Now I was spending more and more time with him, and without Calla.

I made a promise to myself then and there that I would do something extra special for her. I wasn't sure what yet, but I would think of something.

# # #

Thursday came faster than I thought it would, even though I still hadn't heard from Jake. I thought that maybe, just maybe he would ask me to go with him to the party.

Wrong.

As usual Mattie helped me with my hair and makeup. And as usual, he told me that I looked better than ever, that I would be the best looking girl in the room. But I knew better. I knew Rebecca, Bobbi Lynne, and Jennifer would all be there looking just as good as me. Calla didn't even hang around to see me off.

I sighed as I walked down the stairs to catch my limo. Another night of pretending I was somebody I wasn't. Even the thought of Jake being there couldn't help my mood. In fact, it almost made it worse. Now I was in this awful place, wondering whether or not he really liked me, knowing I would have to see him either way.

Usually I would only write in the Disaster Diary when I was getting a big head, but I was depressed and felt like wallowing, just a little.

Dear Disaster Diary,

I was living in this house with several separate apartments in it. It was a weird old house, but the rent was cheap, and I was a college student. Anyway, the house was set up with the laundry facilities in the garage so that all of the apartments could share them. I was dying my hair and wanted to get my clothes ready since I'd be in a hurry once I was finished with my hair.

I realized that my pants were still out in the dryer, in the garage. I threw on my bathrobe and ran out there to grab them. I ran back to my apartment, praying no one would see me in my bathrobe, bare feet, and hair dye cap. But when I got to the door, I had locked myself out.

Totally embarrassed, I ran to the closest apartment, which was old Mrs. Brewster's, to see if I could use her phone to call the landlord. Much to my surprise, her grandson, a super smokin' guy about my age, answered the door. He looked at me like I was an alien, and I was about to run away, but old Mrs. Brewster saw me and made me come in. I had to stand there using the phone with this hot guy staring at me, and Mrs. Brewster made me wait inside her apartment the whole time I waited for the landlord to finally arrive.

The party was at a different location, but the media frenzy was much the same as the last time, except now they were much more interested in my relationship with Jake. I smiled the most gracious smile I could muster under the circumstances, and simply repeated "no comment" over and over again.

Inside the building I was greeted with an escort again. It was a different guy this time, I could only assume they hired whatever actor or model was available. In the main event hall, the party was already under way. There were no announcements as people arrived.

At least this time every single person in the room isn't staring at me, I thought.

My eyes darted around the room and I tried to convince myself that I was just checking to see who was there, but even I knew I was really only looking for one person.

"Oh thank God you're here," Jennifer said rushing up to me, which wasn't an easy thing to do in her tight formal gown and four inch heels.

"Geez, you tower over me in those things," I said.

"Yeah, I know, I feel like I'm taller than most of the men here. Perhaps they weren't the best choice."

I smiled. "So, anyone else here?" I asked.

"No. I don't know where the hell Bobbi Lynne and Rebecca are. And Emma is busy with the rest of the guests."

I looked around. The crowd was certainly different at this party than the last one.

"Can you believe this?" Jennifer said. "I bet we're the only two people here under sixty five."

I nodded searching the crowd for hair that wasn't either blue or grey. And then I spotted him. Jake. He was entering from a different door way in the back.

My stomach lurched for a second and I fully realized just how much I liked him. But then...

"Is that Rebecca and Bobbi Lynne?" Jennifer asked.

The two other Bridesmaids were sneaking into the ballroom from the same door in the back, just behind Jake. Rebecca was looking very sexy in a sparkling red gown that was very low cut, and Bobbi Lynne looked like the complete opposite of a country bumpkin in a bronze dress that shimmered in places that had no business shimmering.

"What are they doing with him?"

Jennifer shrugged. "I have no idea, but it doesn't look good."

She was right. Jake seemed to be trying to straighten himself up, straightening his tie and smoothing his hair while Bobbi Lynne appeared to be trying to readjust her bra without using her hands.

"What the hell?" I said.

Jake went straight over to his brother and huddled with him for a few minutes.

Rebecca and Bobbi Lynne strutted around the room like they'd just won some sort of prestigious award.

"I'd love to go over there and knock her head right off her shoulders," Jennifer said.

Apparently the horror of the situation was still showing on my face. I could only hope that none of the people with cameras had caught the expression on my face.

"Don't worry," she continued. "I'm sure that nothing was going on, Bobbi Lynne probably just had him cornered back there forever, yakking like she does."

I nodded. "Yeah, probably."

But it wasn't Bobbi Lynne that worried me the most. It was that damned Rebecca with that proud as a peacock look on her face.

"Hi y'all," Bobbi Lynne came bounding up to us.

"Hi," we both said in unison, both in the same monotone.

"I was wondering when you'd get here. Me and Rebecca have already been sneaking into the back room for a little sociable drinking with the groomsmen."

"Oh, yeah, I was wondering where you came from," I said.

"Are all the groomsmen back there?" Jennifer asked.

"Yeah, well except for Jake," she said.

Jake caught Bobbi Lynne looking his way and she gave him a flirty wave. He politely raised his hand, stopping mid air when his eyes locked with mine. He immediately turned and huddled with his brother again.

"He's such a sweetheart. And oh my gosh, it was so funny. Rebecca had this whole fake 'hitting on Jake' thing going on back there. She even had his tie untied and he had lipstick all over his face," she said, laughing as she talked. "Y'all should have been there."

"I'm sorry I missed it," Jennifer said rolling her eyes.

I grabbed a flute of champagne off the tray of a waiter moving quickly past us and took a big gulp.

"I think we need to get some air," Jennifer said and grabbed my arm.

She dragged me out to the terrace.

"Thank you," I said. "I don't know how much more of that story I could take."

Jennifer turned and leaned back on the railing. "Man this party is lame. I wonder how soon we can get away with leaving."

I nodded and took another swig of champagne.

"You look great though. I bet Jake is in there wishing it had been you with all the kissing."

"Oh yeah, he looked like he really hated it. Did you see how he shot over to his brother, like he had some sort of huge secret or something? He was totally looking guilty."

"Well, then kudos to you then," Jennifer said.

"What?"

"What's he got to feel guilty about if some girl kisses him? Unless of course, he feels guilty because he likes somebody else."

I wasn't sure how to respond to that, though it certainly gave me something to think about. Why _did_ he look so guilty?

For the rest of the night, I successfully dodged Jake. I didn't have a clue what to say to him. Who knew what he was really thinking. Truthfully, I was almost afraid to find out. I only knew that I definitely wasn't ready to have my hopes completely smothered yet.

I ducked out of the party as soon as I thought I could get away with it, telling Emma that I had a headache, and that I would see her tomorrow at the airport before our flight to the Virgin Islands.

~ 13 ~

I arrived at the airport with enough luggage to cover me for just about every possible scenario that might come our way. I'd definitely over packed, bringing half of what I owned including all five bathing suits.

But when I got there I discovered that a model always puts the average girl to shame, just with the sheer amount of clothes that she owns, let alone brings on vacation with her.

"Holy crap, five suitcases?" Jennifer whispered, pointing to Rebecca.

"I know. We're only going for three days," I said. "And I thought I was ready for anything."

I looked down at my measly two suitcases and one cosmetic bag. It looked like Jennifer had packed about the same as me.

"Hello girls," Emma VanHorn yelled walking up with several girls towing suitcases behind her. "These are all of my best friends," she continued motioning to the ladies behind her. "You'll all have a chance to meet on the plane, but for now... let's get going!"

The girls behind Emma all giggled and whooped it up as if they'd never been on vacation before. I thought it was odd since they were all from old money and must vacation half the year.

"You'd think they'd never gone on a stagette before," I said to Jennifer.

She nodded. "Maybe Emma's the first one in their little gaggle to get married."

Bobbi Lynne and Rebecca were handing their bags to the staff that was loading the large private jet.

"We'd better get going," I said. "We don't want to miss the flight."

"Speak for yourself," Jennifer said, still rolling her eyes at the pack of socialites that were already boarding, leaving their luggage just sitting there. "I guess they're not worried that their luggage could be forgotten."

"I on the other hand want to make damn sure that I see my luggage get on that plane," I said. "If I were to lose those suitcases, half the clothes I own would be gone."

She nodded. "Me too."

Making sure our suitcases were safely aboard, Jennifer and I climbed on last.

"Oh great," Jennifer whispered. "We're stuck with Bobbi Lynne."

There were exactly two seats left. Bobbi Lynne gave us her toothy smile as we sat down beside her.

"Hi girls," she said excitedly. "I've never been on a private jet before."

"Ditto," Jennifer said.

"Oh gosh. This is all just so excitin'," Bobbi Lynne went on. "This plane, these leather seats, all the glamorous ladies! It's all too much." Her smile was getting wider and wider and I got a mental image of her mouth opening so wide that she'd eventually engulf the whole plane.

I tried to suppress the giggle that accompanied the image but couldn't.

"What's so funny?" Bobbi Lynne asked, staring at me blankly.

"Oh nothing, nothing," I said waving my hand. "I'm just so excited too."

Bobbi Lynne smiled and nodded and turned her head back towards the window.

"Oh my family back home is not going to believe all this when I tell them," she continued to drone.

Jennifer gave me a look that said she might kill the girl. I handed her a set of headphones that were sitting on the small table between our cushy bucket seats, which she accepted and mouthed a dramatic 'thank you.'

I immediately found my own pair and quickly put them in. Bobbi Lynne never skipped a beat, her mouth moving at lightning speed.

I began switching stations on the radio. It sounded like some sort of satellite feed. There was one channel that was all soothing sounds, rainforests, the ocean, and other calming noises. Soon I was fast asleep.

# # #

Jake and I were floating in his boat on the lake at his cabin. He'd turned the engine off so we could enjoy our peaceful surroundings. As I lay on his chest, I closed my eyes, enjoying the silence.

Soon the peaceful silence turned into a much more passionate rendezvous. It began innocently enough with a few strategically placed kisses on Jake's part. I returned the favor, nuzzling his neck and pressing my body against him.

It wasn't long before there was a flurry of clothes flying.

I woke up to the sound of what seemed like a thousand girls giggling. I opened my eyes slowly, and found about fifty perfectly made up eyes with long cow like eyelashes staring at me. Jennifer was poking me in the shoulder.

I looked around. "What?" I said. "Was I drooling or something?"

"Um no," Jennifer said. "You were talking in your sleep."

Oh God.

The girls burst into fits of laughter.

I put my hand up to my forehead, shielding my face from the onlookers. Thankfully, a few minutes later, the girls seemed to tire of my humiliating moment.

"What did I say?" I asked Jennifer in a whisper.

"Well, let's just say we could all tell you were dreaming about sex."

"Oh God."

"With Jake."

"Oh God!"

"Yes, there was some of that phrase in there," she said with a smirk.

"Well, welcome to the real me," I said. "Meet McMaster the Disaster."

"Oh come on," she said and took a sip of her drink. "We've all been there."

"Not like this. I am constantly embarrassing myself, exactly like that."

"Oh who cares," she said. "I'd bet you a million dollars that at least half those girls have had the exact same sort of dream about Jake."

"I know I have," Bobbi Lynne piped in.

Crap. I'd forgotten about her.

"Really?" I said, not really sure whether I should be upset that so many women were dreaming about Jake, or relieved that maybe it wasn't as embarrassing as I'd first thought.

"Sure," Jennifer said. "Everyone knows that he's the reason we all entered this thing to begin with. And Emma's friends are all totally jealous of you anyway. I heard that a couple of them have been trying to get Emma to set them up with Jake for years."

"Really?" I said. "Maybe I should be keeping a closer eye on my back."

"Eh, don't lose too much sleep over it, no pun intended."

I didn't have much more time to stress over it. Apparently, I'd missed the start of our descent in my dream filled slumber and it seemed like all of a sudden we were landing. I took a quick peek out the window and saw nothing but paradise for miles.

The sun bounced off the ocean, like tiny dancing diamonds.

Jennifer and I were first off the plane followed by many, many snickers at my expense.

"Aren't they all mature," Jennifer said, but I was pretty sure my face already looked like I had forgotten my sunscreen and sat on the beach for a day.

Our luggage was first off since we'd been the last in. We quickly picked up our things and headed to the waiting vehicle. Apparently, Emma had spared no expense; there were three stretch limos waiting to take us to our resort.

"Great," Jennifer said as Bobbi Lynne bounded up to us with her luggage.

"I'll share a limo with y'all," she said. She looked like she had to pee, jumping around like she was. "Oh gosh, I'm just so excited."

"Yeah, you said that," Jennifer said.

The driver began to load our luggage into the car. A few more girls joined us before we drove away. Thankfully, Rebecca wasn't one of them.

"I wonder where Rebecca's at?" Bobbi Lynne said a few minutes later.

"If we're lucky, maybe she got stuck in the bathroom on the plane," Jennifer said.

Bobbi Lynne tilted her head looking confused.

"I'm sure she's just in one of the other cars," I said, elbowing Jennifer.

If she kept this up, everyone would start to hate us. But I still needed her to help keep me sane, especially since there wasn't even any chance of seeing Jake at this particular wedding event.

The hotel was a paradise inside paradise. The lobby felt like being inside a waterfall with three of the four walls covered in cascading water. It was magnificent. The only problem was that I was starting to have to go to the bathroom, and the rushing water really wasn't helping me hold it in.

"Do we have to wait for the rest of the cars before we check in?" I asked.

If I didn't get to a bathroom soon, I'd be doing the pee dance that I thought Bobbi Lynne looked so silly doing just a few minutes before.

"Why? You want to go take a little nap?" one of Emma's friends asked.

This of course caused the rest of the girls in her group to start the giggling all over again.

I sighed.

"Please follow me," one of the bellmen said and motioned with his hand. "Each of you will be staying with one of the other girls."

My mouth dropped open and I looked at Jennifer. She was already asking what I was thinking.

"Do we get to pick who we're with?"

"I'm not sure," he said. "I was told to show you to your room, so I had just assumed you two were together." He started looking worried.

"No, no, that's fine. That's great," I said.

I didn't want to get stuck with one of those rich snobby girls, or God forbid, Bobbi Lynne or Rebecca.

The bellman opened our room door and I nearly pushed him over to get into the bathroom.

"What is it about flying that makes you have to pee so badly?" I wondered out loud as I came out of the bathroom.

Jennifer had picked out one of the twin beds and was already beginning to unpack. "Knowing you're trapped?" she said.

"Probably." I heaved my biggest suitcase onto my bed. "So, I wonder what we're supposed to do now," I said.

"Well, we can peruse the itinerary," she said.

"I didn't get an itinerary."

"Oh yes. Yes you sure did," she said waving a piece of paper in the air.

"Really?"

"Oh yes. The bellman gave it to me."

I chuckled. "At least we won't have to wonder what to do."

"Oh no we wont. Believe me, there is no spare time, although I guess the planned activities aren't particularly strenuous. First up, pool lounging while we all get over our jet lag."

"Jet lag? Is it even possible to get jet lagged on a flight that short?" I wondered.

"According to the rich and famous, I guess."

"Well," I swung one of my swimsuits around my finger. "This weekend, we _are_ the rich and famous."

"Except that we're not rich. Or famous."

"Aw, c'mon. Don't ruin my fun." I snapped her with my swimsuit, wet towel style.

"Okay," she said. "I will not ruin the fun for you."

"You know," I said. "You could try to have a little fun of your own."

"What? I'm having fun," she said.

"Uh huh. Then get your swimsuit on. And hurry, we gotta scope out the best lounge chairs."

"Oooh, yeah. And cabana boys."

# # #

Poolside was even more spectacular than the rest of the hotel. The pool stretched toward the ocean making it look as though they blended into one giant body of water. But the real appeal came in the form, as Jennifer had predicted, of the cabana boys.

"Interesting that they're all men," Jennifer said.

"I bet Emma made sure of it," I said. "I wouldn't doubt it if she hand-picked each one of them herself."

"Well, I'm not complaining," Jennifer said, smiling and accepting a tropical drink from one of the many dark skinned, hard bodied waiters.

"Hmm. Me either," I said. "Me either."

We found two chairs that, to some, may have not looked like the best location since they faced opposite the ocean, but as Jennifer pointed out, they faced the cabana square on. We'd be able to ogle all we wanted beneath our Audrey Hepburn sunglasses.

And that we did. Hours passed while we lay in the sun. A bunch of the other girls were running around and splashing each other in the pool. One of them untied Bobbi Lynne's top, which came flying off when she flipped over while tanning. Of course the girls had pre-alerted the cabana boys so they'd all be ready for an eyeful, which they definitely got with a flailing Bobbi Lynne screaming at the top of her lungs. It was really quite priceless.

Sadly, it all had to come to an end sometime.

"Well, I guess we'd better start getting ready for the formal supper," Jennifer said, consulting the itinerary.

I sighed. "I suppose I have had enough sun for one day."

I went to stand, but quickly found that sipping tropical cocktails all day, while lying in the sun wreaks havoc on a person. I lunged for the back of my lounge chair, just before I went down like a wet noodle.

"Whoa, hey there girl," Jennifer said, stabbing herself with her straw while reaching for me.

Girls all around the pool stopped to stare at the spectacle. The all too familiar giggles started up again.

"What are you looking at?" Jennifer slurred at the girls.

"Shhh. Don't make it worse. Let's just get to our room and get cleaned up," I whispered pulling myself to my feet and helping her up off her chair.

We stumbled our way back to our room arguing over what the room number actually was. On the third try, we found the door that the card key actually worked in.

"Ugh," Jennifer said as she flung herself onto the bed. "I just want to go to sleep for about fifteen hours."

"I know. Me too. But you know as well as I do that we have to go. All those girls out there have it in for us. I'm sure they all wanted to be, or at least thought they'd be, Bridesmaids for Emma."

"Screw 'em," Jennifer said.

"Come on. You said yourself that this is a really good opportunity. Besides, what if this is the night that Emma decides to have strippers or something. You wouldn't want to miss out on that now, would you?"

The thought of naked men was apparently just the thing to kick her into gear. "You're right. We have an obligation to Emma."

I laughed.

"I call the shower first," she said, trying to get up off the bed but lost her balance, falling back onto the bed.

"Okay," I said, and got up to pull her off the bed. "Get up and shower, I'll make some coffee."

As she walked into the bathroom, I pulled out the Disaster Diary and made two new entries. The first was about the dream I'd had about Jake, and the second was about the spectacle I'd just made of myself out by the pool.

A few minutes later I banged on the bathroom door. We were running out of time and I still needed to shower myself. But more importantly, I thought that Jennifer might be in there drowning or something.

"Just a minute!"

I relaxed, knowing at least she was alive, and started laying out my clothes for the night. When I'd packed, I hadn't really expected anything too formal, though the itinerary said I had been wrong. I hadn't brought any designer gowns with me.

"What are you wearing?" Jennifer asked, exiting the bathroom.

"I don't know, the thing says formal, but how formal could it be?"

Jennifer raised her eyebrows. "You never know with this crowd," she said. "But I didn't really bring anything."

"Me either."

I started rifling through my suitcase. Jennifer was flipping through hangers in the wardrobe.

"Oh God, this is not good," she said. "Not good."

I pulled out a simple black dress that I'd worn on more occasions than I could count. You could always count on the little black dress.

"Thank God Mattie made me buy these shoes before we left," I said pulling my new Jimmy Choo's out of the drawer.

"Oooh, I've got a shrug that will dress that up," Jennifer said pulling a sparkly piece of fabric out of her drawer.

"Perfect," I said.

"Do you have any shoes that would go with this?" she asked pulling out a sexy red satin dress.

"Wait a minute, I do!" I said pulling the drawer back open. "I've always just worn these with jeans, but I think they'd be perfect." I pulled out my sparkly red sling backs. "I call these my Wizard of Oz shoes."

"They're great!" Jennifer said. "Are you sure I can wear them?" she said accepting them gingerly.

"Of course," I said.

"You're one of those shoe people aren't you?" she asked.

I shrugged. "I guess so. I subscribe to the 'the shoes make the outfit' theory anyway."

"So how many pairs of shoes do you think you have?" she asked.

"Um, forty three."

"Seriously? You think you have more than forty pairs?"

"As long as you include boots, I have exactly forty three."

"Yeah. You're definitely one of those shoe people. Not that I'm complaining or anything, I'll gladly borrow from your obsession," she said with a wink.

"Obsession," I said, putting my hand to my chest. "I can't believe you would say that," I said mockingly.

"Shoe diva," she yelled back, as I headed to the bathroom to finally take my shower.

~ 14 ~

As expected, Jennifer and I were a little underdressed. Not so much that we stood out too badly, but enough to make me just a tiny bit uncomfortable. At least we weren't as bad off as poor Bobbi Lynne, she was wearing a sundress.

"Gosh y'all look nice," she said. "I can't believe everyone is dressed so formal. I thought on a tropical island, everyone would just be wearing sundresses all day."

"You look fine," I said, smiling and silently thanking the lord that I had packed at least as much as I had. In her defense, she really did look nice in the sundress, and it was quite classy as far as sundresses go.

We were getting a lot of sideways glances from Emma's friends. I guess our impression from the pool was still fresh in their minds. I decided it was best to stick to sipping water, just to be safe.

The meal was a delicious combination of meats and vegetables, roasted over an open flame.

"Is it just me," I said to Jennifer, "or is the food way better here than back home."

She was nodding as she chewed. "It must be the tropical weather. These veggies are to die for."

We finished our meals and went straight to bed. According to the itinerary, we were in for a long day tomorrow.

# # #

I woke up early, and Jennifer was still snoring quietly. I got out of bed and checked the schedule for the day.

Breakfast at the hotel restaurant. An island tour, including a stop at the rainforest, and then an undersea tour of the reef. Private dinner and dancing at the hotel restaurant with some 'special guests.'

I started a pot of coffee and went to have a quick shower. By the time I was done, Jennifer was starting to stir.

"Mmmm. Do I smell coffee?" she asked.

"Yup," I said, pouring two cups and handing her one.

"Thanks," she said and blew into her cup.

"So, island tour today," I said.

"Yeah, I'm actually looking forward to it," she said.

"Me too. And no drinking until at least mid afternoon," I said.

My eyes were still a little sensitive to the light of day.

"I feel like shit," Jennifer said.

"A shower might help you feel like you're alive again," I suggested.

She nodded and sucked back a bit more coffee before going to get ready.

I killed a little time reading out on the terrace before we had to leave.

A buffet of every pastry you could imagine, plus an omelet bar, plenty of fresh seafood, and what seemed like every fruit that existed, awaited us downstairs.

"Try to eat quickly girls," Emma announced from the front of the room. "Our tour leaves in a half hour."

I poured myself some orange juice and dove into my waffles smothered in strawberries and whipped cream.

"Whoa, slow down there McMaster," Jennifer said, sitting beside me. "Save some of that energy for tonight."

"You should talk miss 'hog the omelet bar for 15 minutes while I make sure they put absolutely everything on.'"

She elbowed me in as I was taking another bite.

"So I'm guessing the 'special guests' tonight will be strippers, hey?" I said.

Jennifer nodded, her mouth stuffed with omelet. "Has to be," she finally said.

"God, what do you wear for strippers?" I wondered.

"As much as you can cover yourself with," Jennifer said. "I once heard this story of this girl who got crabs in her eyebrows from a stripper."

"Ew. Are you serious? Can that even happen?"

She shrugged. "I dunno, probably not."

"I hope not," I said.

"Why? You plan on getting in close enough to find out for yourself?"

"God, no. I just thought it would be totally gross for the poor girl who got the crabs."

"Sure," she said, pretending she didn't believe me.

The rest of the girls were finishing up and starting to board the luxurious tour bus.

"Well, here we go," I said and collected my stuff.

We'd been instructed to bring swimsuits and a change of clothes. When we were all on the bus, it pulled out and the driver announced we'd be seeing the rainforest first.

We arrived on the outskirts of what was left of the preserved rainforest. I thought I was prepared for what we would see, but the spectacular beauty of it took my breath away. The forest floor was damp and shaded by the massive canopy overhead. But more exciting than the beauty of everything, was the feeling I got as we made our way slowly through. Magical, sacred, like it held secrets that we could only dream of knowing.

"Wow," Jennifer whispered beside me.

Even Emma's rich kid friends stayed silent as we weaved our way through. The silence continued even on the bus as we headed toward the reef. It was a weird silence, not solemn, but more awe inspired, each of us with our own thoughts.

As we got closer to the ocean, the girls started to chatter a bit again. We got off the bus and were assembled into two groups. Those that already knew how to scuba dive and those that didn't. I was in the latter with Jennifer and Bobbi Lynne. Rebecca had looked down her nose at us as she sauntered over to the 'experienced' group.

Our group was fairly small, just me, Jennifer, Bobbi Lynne, and two other girls.

"Hi, I'm Ashley," one of them said. "And this is my sister Kim. We're cousins of the groom."

"Oh, nice to meet you," I said. "I was wondering. You guys didn't seem quite as snobbish as the rest of them." My mouth dropped. "Oh God, did I just say that out loud?"

Ashley and Kim giggled a little. "Don't worry, we've been thinking the same thing."

"Does anyone else feel like they're back in high school?" Jennifer said, peeking over at the crowd of girls that were openly staring at us and shaking their heads.

"Totally," I said.

"What do you mean? I think all the girls are great!" Bobbi Lynne said. "They've been really accepting of me. Especially Rebecca."

"Really?" Jennifer said.

I wondered what Rebecca wanted. Surely she only put up with Bobbi Lynne because she needed her for something. "Well that's good," I said. "It was silly of me to say anything anyway. This is all just so new to me."

Bobbi Lynne plastered her smile back on, and busied herself with her gear.

The three other girls gave me looks, which added up to one collective eye roll.

The instructor sped us through the basics, almost all of which were safety precautions. We did a couple of test dives in a nearby pool, and then we were sent out into the reef, along with an expert to guide us.

I'd always imagined that an undersea adventure would consist of murky water and a feeling of extreme claustrophobia. But it was the complete opposite. The water was clear, and the thousands of colors were the most vivid I had ever seen. I kept wishing I could shout out about how amazing everything was, but of course my mouth was filled with the respirator. And I wasn't at all claustrophobic. In fact, I almost felt freer then than I did above water.

After the dive, the ride back to the hotel was deafening. The rich chicks even got off their high horse, genuinely excited with what they had seen.

"That was perhaps the best day of my life," Jennifer said.

"I know. Me too. It wasn't at all what I expected."

"I thought it would be all slimy and gross down there," she said as we walked toward our room.

"Exactly!"

"God, I could use a nap," she said.

I had to admit that all the activities of the day had really exhausted me too.

"Wanna go lay by the pool for an hour before we have to get ready?" I asked.

"Yeah, definitely."

"It's a good thing that I brought every swimsuit that I own," I said as I changed into suit number three.

She nodded. "Me too."

We snuck out to the pool just in time to snag the last two lounge chairs. Cabana boys were there almost immediately to take our drink orders.

"Yeah, what the heck," I said. "I'll have a Pinã Colada please."

"You're starting already are you?" Jennifer said. "Well then I'll have a Tropical Daiquiri."

"This is the life," I said, stretching out on the full-length lounger.

"I wish we were here longer. Three days is not going to be enough," Jennifer said.

Our drinks arrived and I took a few sips before leaning back and drifting off into a light sleep.

I awoke to Jennifer shaking me like mad. "Josie! Oh my God, we fell asleep. We are so late!"

"What? Oh crap."

The sun had begun to set. We made a mad dash to our room and threw on the first outfits we could find. I ended up in jeans and a dressy tank, and Jennifer ended up in a khaki skirt with a chocolate brown strapless top. I threw on a funky hat to hide the fact that I hadn't done my hair.

When we rushed into the restaurant, all eyes were on us. No, not because we looked hot, even though we didn't look too bad considering we were so rushed, but because we had made yet another spectacle of ourselves. Nobody said a word to us as we sat down in the two empty chairs at the end of the huge table.

I caught Emma's eye and mouthed the word 'sorry.'

She shrugged as if it were no big deal.

The girls started chatting again.

"You know, they could have woken us up," Jennifer whispered to me.

"I know. At least five of these girls were out at the pool too," I agreed.

The meal was delicious and this time, they broke out wine to accompany the meal.

"Oh geez," I said. "I'm a sucker for wine."

"Oooh, it's the good stuff too," Jennifer said, picking up the bottle.

"Hmm. Now I don't feel so bad that I left that whole drink at the pool."

"Yeah, me neither."

It didn't take long before I forgot all about what the snob girls thought of me. A few glasses of wine had a way of making you just not care.

When the dancing started, Jennifer and I were the first ones out on the dance floor. We danced for what seemed like hours before the DJ announced that the strippers were about to begin their show. I contemplated heading back to the room for the night, but I knew I was too wired to sleep.

"This aught to be good," Jennifer said. She tilted her head. "Actually it might be if any of those Cabana boys double as strippers."

Cheesy music started, and all of a sudden a man in very good shape was on the stage in a cowboy outfit. He had the glittering chaps, the hat, the boots. The only things missing were pants and a shirt.

"Oh good lord," Jennifer said. "Could this get any more cliché?"

"Oh you just wait, we still haven't seen the fireman, the policeman, the waiter..."

"Okay, okay, I get the picture," Jennifer said. "I think I'm going to start to drink faster. You with me?"

"Sure," I said, shrugging. "The ostracizing can't get much worse. We may as well have some fun at least."

Each time a new stripper appeared on stage, it was inevitably one of the guys on my list. A few dancers and several cocktails later, Jennifer and I were feeling pretty good. We started dancing with some of the other girls, and of course the strippers were there too. Jennifer's favorite was Tarzan man, and I had a little flirtation going on with Mr. Policeman guy.

When were too tired to dance anymore, we flopped down at the bar.

"Looks like you're having fun," a male voice said from behind us.

I turned around.

Jake!

My mouth dropped open. The alcohol was definitely having a fuzzy effect on my brain and I had a bit of a hard time covering up my shock.

He laughed a little.

"Hi Jake," I said. In my drunken stupor, I think I may have tried to pat his shoulder, but ended up limply brushing past. "What are you doing here... actually how long have you been here?"

He smiled. Mm. What a smile.

"Long enough to see you having fun with the studly officer over there," he said pointing.

Oh crap. I let out a laugh, which came out sounding more like a snort. "Oh, that was just a little dancing. I'm not interested in that guy."

"I guess I'd better try and catch up with you girls," Jake said, and ordered two drinks for himself. "Would you like another?"

"Uh. No thanks. I think this one will do me for a while," I said and tried to smile while I sipped through my straw. It probably looked more like a squint than a smile.

Good Lord Josie, I scolded myself silently. No wonder you're such a disaster.

I was surprised when Jake actually sat down beside me. I thought he would have gone to mingle with the rest of the girls. "So I hope at least you've been having fun out here, even considering Emma's friends," he said.

"Yeah, it's been good," I said.

I turned to Jennifer for agreement, thinking she was still beside me. Apparently she decided to sneak off to leave Jake and I alone.

I turned back to Jake. "We've done a lot of laying around by the pool and we went to the rainforest and scuba diving."

"That sounds fun," he said. "I love scuba diving."

"Yeah, I'd never done it before! I couldn't believe all the colors and how clear the water was and how I didn't even feel claustrophobic like I thought I would, 'cause you know I'm just a little bit claustrophobic and..."

I looked up at him and noticed he was looking rather amused.

"Sorry," I said. "I tend to talk a lot when I've had a little to drink."

"I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that you've had a little more than a little to drink," he said.

"Yeah, I guess so," I said, dropping my gaze, pretty much dying inside. "I should probably go out and see if some fresh air will help sober me up a bit."

"I'll come with you," he said.

"Really?" I said.

Shut up you idiot, I yelled at myself. I'm sure you don't at all look like you're desperately in love with him. Wait a minute, am I desperately in love with him? No, I can't be, can I?

"Josie?" he said.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay? You kind of zoned out there for a minute."

"Oh, yeah, sorry, um, I'm okay," I said, and got up.

Jake grabbed my hand and led me out to the patio. There were a few other stragglers out there, probably trying to find a quiet place. There was a small table of Emma's friends in the corner. They started poking each other and whispering as soon as we stepped out there.

"What's with all the whispering?" Jake asked.

"Well," I said trying to whisper, but I'm sure it didn't come out as quiet as I'd hoped. "Emma's friends hate the rest of us Bridesmaids."

"Why?" Jake said in a loud whisper to match my tone and looked around as if we were spies telling each other a very important secret.

"Because we're the Bridesmaids and they're not. And we get to hang out with Jake Hall."

He put his hand to his chest, "Moi?"

I dropped my head once in a feeble nod.

"Well, I have another secret," he said.

"What?"

I wondered if I was too close to his face. He seemed really, really close.

"You're the only Bridesmaid that has been hanging out with me," he said.

"Really? What about at the last party with all the old people?"

"I wasn't hanging out with the other Bridesmaids there," he said.

"Yes you were. I saw you."

"I was looking for you that night," he said. "I thought I caught a glimpse of you a couple times, but then you disappeared."

"I was looking for you too, until I saw you sneaking out of the back room with Bobbi Lynne and Rebecca. You were all looking a little... disheveled."

I could hear the words coming out of my mouth, but I couldn't believe I was saying them. Was I actually about to start a jealous rant at Jake Hall? But for some reason, the alcohol most likely, I couldn't stop myself.

"Josie, there was nothing going on. They were just playing some kind of stupid trick or something. I found them both quite annoying."

"Oh sure," I continued, my mouth like a train picking up speed. "Except you didn't look very annoyed when you were coming out of that room."

"Geez Josie, what's going on? I swear I didn't do anything with those girls." He glanced sideways at the table of Emma's friends were hanging on our every word.

Shit, I'd forgotten about them.

"Okay, sorry," I said but continued pouting.

"I think maybe we should get you to bed," he said loud enough for the gaggle to hear.

One of them actually gasped. A flurry of whispers started whirling around the small circle.

"What room are you in?" Jake asked, quietly this time.

"Three twelve," I said.

I started fishing in my purse for the key card. Jake led me down the hall by my elbow since my hands were still fishing in my purse. In the elevator he asked if I needed any help.

"No, I'm fine, thanks," I said and continued digging.

He led me down the hall to my room. I dug a little more.

"Here it is!" I said, holding the card up.

I handed it to Jake who opened the door.

Thank goodness. I might have been fiddling with that card forever.

He held the door open for me and followed me into the room.

"Well," he said, "I just wanted to make sure you got back okay."

"Thanks Jake," I said. I really wanted him to stay for a while, it felt like we hadn't really gotten to talk, and I didn't know when I'd see him again. "Hey, did you want to stay and watch a movie or something. I'm sure we can find one on the pay per view."

"Sure," he said with a smile. "That sounds nice."

There wasn't much choice as far as movies went. There was, however, one of Jake's movies as a choice.

"Oh no! No, no, no," he said when I suggested we watch it. "That would be way too weird and uncomfortable for me."

We settled on a comedy that I heard was pretty funny. Jake knew the director and said he was good too.

It must have taken me about six seconds of stretching out on the bed to fall asleep.

"Shit!"

I was yanked out of my dreamless sleep by the sound of Jennifer screaming. "Shit, shit, shit!" she repeated.

Jake started stirring beside me.

Oh my God. Jake Hall is in my bed!

I looked around to see if there was any indication of what Jake and I had done last night. My clothes were all still intact and a quick glance over at Jake confirmed that he was still in his clothes too. I did notice that his arm was draped comfortably over my back.

"What?" I asked her, shaking my head to try to wake up.

"Oh God! We're going to miss the plane! It's already 9:45!"

"What! The flight leaves at 10!"

"I know!" she yelled, scrambling to pick up odds and ends off the floor.

Jake lifted his head for a moment, then flopped back over to sleep again.

"Jake, Jake!" I yelled and started shaking him. "We have to get going."

He rolled over slowly while I jumped up to start packing. I didn't even have a second to wonder what I must have looked like. If someone had told me two weeks ago that I would be waking up next to Jake Hall and yelling at him to get a move on, obviously I would have laughed in their face.

"There's no way we can make it, there's just no way we can make it," Jennifer kept chanting over and over again.

"How in the hell did we sleep in?" I wondered aloud. "They must have forgotten our wake up call."

"Unless somebody cancelled it. Those girls weren't too happy with you when you took off with Jake last night," Jennifer said.

"Those bitches! It probably was them."

"Girls are weird," Jake said.

"I know, just because they're jealous doesn't mean they have to..." Jennifer said.

"No, I mean you two," Jake said cutting her off. "You know, I have my plane here. I'm scheduled to leave tomorrow morning. I'll fly you guys back to the city."

"Really?" Jennifer said.

"Sure," he said shrugging. "I'm going there anyway."

"But I'll miss work," I said. I started to panic. My boss was already really pissed off with me for ducking out early so many days for all the wedding stuff.

"Call in sick," Jennifer suggested.

"I suppose I could get Mattie to cover for me," I said.

"Good," Jake said. "Then we have all day to relax and enjoy the islands."

"Fantastic," Jennifer said. "I was in no hurry to get back anyway."

"Okay," I said, though I was still a little worried.

If my boss ever did find out what I was actually up to, he would probably fire me. And that would pretty much be the end of life as I knew it. Although the prospect of a day on a tropical island with Jake Hall certainly didn't sound so bad. If ever the risk might be worth it, this was most likely that time.

"I'll get dressed and check with the front desk to make sure we can have the room for another night," Jennifer said.

"Cool," I said and lay back down on the bed resting my head on my outstretched arm.

"So, thanks for letting me crash last night," Jake said.

"You're welcome, though I don't really remember inviting you," I said, and gave him a little playful shove.

"Oh, so it's like that is it?" he said. "Well I guess I know now that I've overstayed my welcome."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course you can stay as long as you like."

"Cool," he said. "Does that mean I can crash again tonight?"

Hmm. Another night sleeping in the same bed as Jake Hall. Let me think about that for a second. "Sure."

He smiled. "Do you always get up this early? I haven't had to wake up this early since I was filming in New Zealand."

I smiled, enjoying the surreal moment with Jake Hall in my bed talking about filming the movie that was the biggest blockbuster of last year.

"What should we do today?" I asked.

"I don't know. Maybe we can take a trip into that little town that we passed on the way in from the airport."

"Oh yeah, that place looked so cute. I bet the shopping is fantastic," I said starting to salivate over the thought of finding some great tropical clothes.

Jake groaned. "Oh, you girls and your shopping. Isn't there anything else to life?"

"Um. I don't think so," I said.

"Pfft." Jake rolled over so his back was facing me. He pulled his pillow over his head. "What have I gotten myself into?" His words were muffled under the pillow.

I laid there and watched him breathe. Within a few minutes he was asleep again. I wondered how he could breathe with that pillow over his head. Then I wondered how he could fall asleep in such an uncomfortable position. Then I wondered if he might sleep without his shirt on that night. Then Jennifer came back into the room just as I was about to try for a mental picture of it.

"We got the room for another night," she said.

"Awesome, thanks. Jake's asleep again."

"You wear him out last night or what?" she teased.

"Ha ha."

"Let's go hang out at the pool 'til he wakes up," Jennifer suggested.

"Cool. You think they'll bring us food out there? I think I might need something to help settle my stomach after last night."

"You did sort of overdo it with the cocktails my dear," Jennifer said.

"Oh yeah, like you didn't?"

She gave me a sideways glance and chose to ignore the comment. "So which one of those bitches do you think cancelled our wake up call?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, but I hope Emma is pissed at them, and not us. I'm sure they had enough giggling fits for her to figure it out."

"Oh my God, yeah. What is with all that pointing and whispering? I mean seriously, when did time reverse and send us back into high school? I didn't even like high school the first time around, and I don't need someone making me feel like I'm back in it."

"I know me too. My high school experience was less than stellar, there was this whole McMaster the Disaster thing."

"McMaster the Disaster," she said with an amused expression. "That's actually pretty hilarious."

I rolled my eyes. "It's taken me eight years to try to get over that horrible nickname and the pitiful self esteem that went with it."

"I can imagine," Jennifer said. "But it looks like it made you a stronger person. You seem pretty confident now."

I shrugged. "I guess so."

"You guess so? Josie, you're dating Jake Hall!"

"I wish," I said. "I really don't think that anyone in their right mind would call it dating."

"Well, you've gone out on a date with him."

"Yes."

"Then you're dating."

I leaned back in my lounger and waited for the cabana boys, this time for food, not to gawk. Or drink, for that matter. I began to daydream about 'dating' Jake. In fact, I even started to daydream about calling him my boyfriend. But of course it wouldn't stop there. I started thinking about if I would take his name when we got married. Josie Hall. Hmm. Has a nice ring to it. And I certainly wouldn't miss the whole last name rhyming with disaster thing either.

~ 15 ~

I phoned Mattie to let him know that I wouldn't be in to work that day. "Could you smooth it over with Don?"

"Of course," Mattie said. "Now, tell me everything. Don't leave anything out."

"Um. I can't really talk right now, but I'll tell you about the trip when we get back," I said.

"Oh my God, is he sitting right there?"

"Yeah."

Mattie gasped. "You are so gonna marry him."

"I'm hanging up now," I said.

"Okay. But just to get our stories straight, I'm telling Don that you have a migraine."

"Cool. Thanks Mattie. You're a life saver."

"He sounds like a good friend," Jake said as I hung up.

"The best."

"Is he your roommate?"

"No, that's Calla. She's pretty great too," I said. "Actually I've been feeling kind of guilty lately because with all this wedding stuff going on, we haven't really had much time to hang out, just the two of us. And then we were supposed to do something this weekend, but all this came up," I said motioning around the room.

Jake nodded. "Well, the wedding isn't that far away now."

"And hopefully life will get back to normal again," I said.

"How normal are you hoping for it to get?" he asked. He seemed to be fishing for something.

"Well, it doesn't have to go completely back to normal," I said.

He leaned in and kissed me. A soft, perfect kiss. A kiss that I could really get used to.

Before we went out for the day, I snuck to the bathroom to try to clear my big head.

Dear Disaster Diary,

I was so excited for the junior high dance. It was the first time that I had a date for a dance and was feeling pretty special. We'd just finished taking swing dance lessons in this special arts class at school, and my date had also been my partner in that class. That's probably why he asked me to the dance, come to think of it. Anyway, there was one really difficult move that we had not yet mastered where the guy swings the girl over his head and then pulls her back down to continue dancing seamlessly.

So at the dance, a swing song comes on. Me and Mark get really excited and head out to the dance floor. Soon everyone stops dancing and forms a circle to watch us dance. I felt like a superstar. And I guess Mark must have too, because all of a sudden he decides we're going to do "the move." He pulls me up, over his head, and for a moment, I hang in midair, poised perfectly above him. I'm thinking, it's working! It's working! But then I begin to tip. The wrong way. Mark tries to compensate to catch me, causing us both to end up in a heap on the floor with the entire school circling around us, dying of laughter.

After a glorious day of relaxing on the island with Jake, who was a complete gentleman and made a point to include Jennifer, we flew home. We were all tired, but Jake was a pro when it came to flying and made sure that he was alert. I switched back and forth from the cockpit and the back to keep both Jennifer and Jake company. Jake even made sure that Jennifer took a turn up front so she'd have the experience of flying up front in a small plane. She absolutely loved it.

"I've got to go take some flying lessons," she said when she came back to the rear of the plane. She'd spent quite a while up there and I could hear her asking Jake all kinds of questions about flying and his plane.

"Really?" I said.

"What a rush! Jake let me take over the controls for a minute and, oh my God, it was so exciting. I felt so powerful. I mean, I was flying!"

"Awesome. So you're really going to do it?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I really think so. It's kind of expensive, but I totally think it would be worth it. You can just do a little bit at a time."

I nodded.

For some reason the flight home seemed shorter than the one on the way to the island.

I was certainly in no mood for the paparazzi, but of course they were there.

"How do they always know where you are?" I asked Jake as we were getting off the plane with camera flashes invading us from every direction.

He shrugged. "I stopped trying to figure that out years ago. There really is nothing you can do about these guys. It's almost better to have them right in your face. At least you're ready for it. I hate it when they are all sneaky and have zoom lens shots like that one at the cabin."

I nodded.

Jennifer had called ahead and had a friend meet her at the airport. Jake offered to give me a ride back to my apartment. And really, who was I to say no to an offer like that? Not to mention, I couldn't imagine anyone I'd rather spend a little more time with.

At my place, he walked me into the building again, and helped me carry my luggage. At the door I took a deep breath.

"You want to come in for a coffee or something?" I asked.

Shit. That sounded stupid. What is 'or something' supposed to mean?

"Sure," he said, smiling.

I opened the door and Calla jumped up immediately. "How was your tri..." she said. "Oh hi," she said to Jake. She looked at the floor and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Jake, this is my roommate Calla," I said.

"Nice to meet you," Jake said, flashing her that beautiful smile. She shook his hand but pulled away quickly, almost too quickly. Jake didn't seem to notice, or at least pretended not to.

She cleared her throat. "Well, I'll leave you two alone." She started rushing out of the room.

"No you don't have to Calla," I yelled behind her.

She just kept walking.

"Was it something I said," Jake asked.

"I don't think so. She's usually quite sociable," I said. "I guess she just wasn't expecting company."

"Well, I won't stay long. I have to get up kind of early. I'm heading back out of town in the morning," Jake said.

"Oh really," I said, hoping I didn't sound as disappointed as I was.

"Yeah, I have to go to LA to some voiceover work for the movie I worked on in the spring," he said. "It should only take a couple of days." He said the last part quickly, like he wanted to make sure I knew he wouldn't be gone long. "Maybe we could get together when I get back, or something."

"That would be great," I said, smiling broadly. But of course I was thinking, crap, what is _that_ 'or something' supposed to mean.

"I'll just go see what we have to drink," I said and headed towards the kitchen.

Jake followed me.

"Well, there's beer or beer," I said surveying the contents of our near empty refrigerator.

He chuckled. "Beer sounds good."

Our tiny kitchen didn't have room for a table, so we went back out to the living room. Jake sat on the couch rather than at the table, so I joined him there.

He stretched out, looking completely relaxed. "Man, it sure is nice to get home after being away."

I smiled.

"I mean, you know, not home for me, but, you know what I mean."

"Yes," I said.

Was it just me, or was he acting a little nervous?

We both sipped our beer for a few minutes.

"Thanks for getting us home," I finally said.

The silence was more than just starting to become awkward.

"Sure, anytime," he said.

Yeah, right. I'll just call up Jake Hall and ask him to fly me around. I smiled.

He set down his beer and moved a little closer to me. "It was really nice to have the extra day to hang out with you," he said.

"Yeah, I only wish we could have stayed longer," I said. "Oh, I've been meaning to ask you, why were you guys there anyway?"

"Actually, it was Emma. She's a little clingy with my brother. Actually, I don't know how he can stand it. She called him and asked if he would come out. I guess her friends were driving her nuts or something."

"So your brother just called you up to ask for a ride?"

"Yeah, he knows I like to fly whenever I can. Plus I thought it might be a fun little getaway. And it was."

He leaned in toward me and gently took the beer out of my hand. Somehow he was able to set it down on the table right beside his even while leaning in for a kiss. I adjusted myself to face him better and leaned back a little on the couch. Pretty soon he was lying completely on top of me, but it was all still fairly innocent, just kissing, not too much touchy feely kind of stuff, not below the neck anyway.

Several minutes later, Jake gave me one final kiss on the couch and we both sat up.

"I should probably get going," he said.

"Okay," I said, though his leaving was about the last thing I wanted.

"I'll call you when I get back into town," he said.

"Sounds great," I said smiling.

He gave me one more kiss at the door, running his hands down my arms, giving me goose bumps from my shoulders to my fingers.

I closed the door behind him and leaned back so I wouldn't fall over.

Calla came creeping down the hall. "Hey," she said.

"Hey. Why did you do that little disappearing act?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I just didn't want to be in the way," she said. "Besides, I didn't have any make up on, and my hair is a total mess."

"That wouldn't have mattered," I said.

"Well, I just didn't feel like myself," she said. "It was a little shocking seeing Jake Hall in my living room."

I had to admit, I probably would have done the same thing. I mean, it was Jake Hall, still a movie star no matter how much I wanted to think of him as a regular guy.

"So, how was it?" she asked.

"The island was great," I said. "But some of the girls that Emma hangs out with. My God, what a bunch of snobs. Thank goodness for Jennifer, or I would have gone completely out of my mind."

Calla nodded, but it almost looked like she was hurt. Was she jealous that I was spending so much time with Jennifer? Or was it still the Jake thing?

"The best part was the scuba diving."

"You got to scuba dive?" she said. "I did that once in when I was in junior high. It's really great, isn't it?"

"Amazing. Not at all what I expected."

I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable talking to Calla about all this stuff. She was the one who'd wanted to be a Bridesmaid in the first place.

"Um, I'm a little tired," I said, which wasn't really a lie. "I think I'd better get some sleep. Work is probably going to be hell tomorrow after my unexpected day off."

Calla nodded and smiled half heartedly. "Okay," she said. "Goodnight."

"Night."

# # #

The next morning I stayed in bed for as long as I could possibly get away with. It was so comfortable, and even though I had been sleeping for more than eight hours, I still felt tired. I think I could have stayed there for days. But eventually I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower.

By the time I got out, I was officially running late. And of all days, I certainly didn't want to arrive late and piss off my boss yet again.

I was getting pretty used to all the looks and stares that followed me down the street, but that day seemed even worse than usual.

That's weird, I thought. I haven't even been in town.

Inside my building, stares and the accompanying whispers and points loomed after me. That was also not unusual ever since the day my name had been announced on TV, but something about the looks today were different. I just couldn't put my finger on what it was.

Inside my cubicle, which I now referred to as the safe haven, I was surprised that Mattie didn't immediately come rushing in. Maybe he was running a little late too.

I checked my messages.

"Josie, this is Don. Please report to my office as soon as you get this," the only message said.

That's weird, I thought. My boss hasn't called me into his office in ages. I wonder what he wants? Don's office was on the top floor, which was actually nice since, he rarely lowered himself to coming down to our floor to spy on us.

I knocked lightly on his door.

"Come in!" he yelled.

"Hey boss," I said. "You wanted to see me?"

"Yes," he said looking at me disapprovingly. "Come in, and close the door behind you."

I started to worry. He had never, ever asked me to close the door like that before.

"Have a seat," he said.

I sat.

"I'm going to get straight to the point. I've had complaints from our client, Christian Toys. They've seen you all over the news and the paper, and they are not happy."

My mouth dropped open. I thought I had been doing a good job on my campaigns.

"It's not your work that they are concerned about. It's all the bad press you've been in lately."

"Bad press?"

He nodded. "Apparently they can't risk being associated with someone with your reputation."

Reputation? I thought. I hadn't had a reputation my whole life, not even in high school. Not a scandalous one, anyway.

"I don't understand. The press hasn't been that bad. The worst thing was a kiss."

Don pulled a newspaper out of his desk drawer and tossed it onto the desk in front of me.

HALL AND BRIDESMAIDS CAUGHT IN THE ACT

Jake Hall frolics in the sun with two of the Lotto Bridesmaids. Hotel staff members confirm that Jake spent not one, but two nights alone with the two Bridesmaids in their hotel room.

The article went on to explain how we had flown back to New York on Jake's private jet and made many references hinting at a scandalous relationship between Jake, me, and Jennifer.

"As you can see, the press has not been too kind this time around. And with our client's primary customers being churches and schools, you can see their concern."

"But this is ridiculous, nothing was going on," I said.

"I'm sure you can also imagine how disappointed I am that you called in sick yesterday when you were obviously away on vacation. I would have thought you'd be more careful, and I might have been able to overlook that, but unfortunately the client phoned in looking for you yesterday and were told you were out sick. And this," he said waving towards the newspaper article, "proves that you lied about that."

"I can't believe this," I whispered.

Oh my God. Is this really happening? Is Don about to... fire me?

"I'm sorry Josie, I really don't want to have to do this, but, like I said, my hands are tied."

The tears started to well up in my eyes.

"We're going to have to let you go," he said, handing me a box of Kleenex.

"This is ridiculous," I said. "Nothing happened on that island, and I've been working really hard on this account."

"I know Josie," Don said, sounding sincere. "I wish there was some other way. We are offering you a one-month severance package and a letter of recommendation. You understand of course that if someone calls and asks us directly, we will have to disclose the full story."

I nodded, totally in shock. The full story? What was that supposed to mean? Rumors about affairs and clients that demand that I be fired? Yeah, that's a wonderful recommendation.

"Take a moment to compose yourself. You are free to leave the building at any time."

Well isn't that a nice way of saying 'clear out as fast as you can,' I thought.

I wiped my tears, shook my head a little to try to clear it and walked out of Don's office, trying to hold my head high. I made my way to the elevator, my mind still racing. I'd worked for the company for five years. Now what the hell was I going to do?

My eyes were dangerously welling up again so I pushed all thoughts out of my head and concentrated only on getting my stuff together and getting out of the building without breaking down. I hoped that I wouldn't run in to Mattie. Not that I didn't want to see him, but I knew one look from him, and I would break down completely.

The elevator dinged. I was back on my floor. I rushed to my cubicle without making eye contact with anyone, but I could feel people staring. I just didn't know if they were staring because they already knew I'd been fired, or if they were staring because of the horrible article from this morning. I couldn't believe I'd let myself run so late that morning, if only I had stopped to take a quick look at the paper.

How humiliating. And now I could just see the headline for tomorrow.

Bridesmaid Gets Fired After Rumors of Three Way.

I wondered how many messages my mother had left so far. Oh God, she'd better not take away my vacation. That was the only thing in my life that was worth getting up for. Except for Jake. Unless, of course, Jake saw the article and started freaking out too.

~ 16 ~

"Oh my God Josie! What are you going to do?" Calla asked when she came home from work and found out about my day.

"I don't know. I have a little money left from my trip. And I got a month's severance. That can get me by for a couple of months, I think. The wedding is only a week away. I'm thinking maybe I'll just get that over with and then worry about finding another job."

Calla nodded.

"I don't think I'd do so hot in a job interview right now anyway."

"Yeah, but you worked so hard to save all that money," she said.

"I know, but I'm hoping I'll still get to go on the trip."

Calla looked worried, or maybe it was doubtful. "I'm guessing your mother's a little pissed right now?"

"I'm sure she is, but on top of all of it, I've been avoiding her. She doesn't know I've lost my job yet. I'm guessing the paper will be kind enough to announce that tomorrow though. Well, unless 'Entertainment News' gets to it first."

She just nodded again.

I'd been walking around all day with that feeling that I'd done something horrendously wrong, even though I couldn't figure out what I could have done differently. It might have been nice to have had some encouraging words from my best friend, but instead I just got that horrible pity look that I hated so much.

"Well, this calls for some Häagen Dazs," she said pulling her coat on. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

As soon as she shut the door behind her, the phone rang. Of course. I decided I had to stop hiding from the world at some point and answered it.

I didn't even get to say 'Hello.'

"Josie." I recognized my mother's voice, but had never heard that particular tone before. "What are you doing to me?" She sounded lost and depressed.

"Mom," I said, not sure how to handle her in this state. "I swear, the newspaper article is complete bullshit." I normally didn't swear around my mother, but I thought now was a good time for as much impact as possible.

"Of course I know that dear," she said. "But the rest of the world doesn't know you like I do. And now, I don't know what to do."

"Believe me Mom, I don't either." My eyes began to tear again. Her compassion was taking me by surprise.

"Have you talked to Jake Hall about all this?" she asked.

"No, he's out of town right now."

"Good. It's probably best not to see him again before the wedding," she said.

"Mom, there's something else," I said.

"Oh God."

"I was fired today."

"What! Why?"

"Basically because of the article," I said.

"Well that's nonsense," she said, finding a bit of her spunk. "They can't fire you for lies like that!"

"I've been doing a lot of work for this Christian account, and they threatened to pull their account from our firm if the company didn't let me go."

"So? Doesn't your company stand by their employees?" she said.

"Apparently not. It's a really big account, the biggest one the company has I think."

"Well, they can't do this to my daughter," she said.

"Mom, just leave it alone. I don't want you doing anything. All the advertising companies are connected in one way or another. If I'm going to have any chance at all of finding another job in this city, I need to lay low for a while. Maybe do some work on my portfolio."

"But..."

"Mom, I'm serious. I'm a big girl, you don't have to fight my battles for me."

"But I can pay for your trip and you don't care?" she said.

Ouch. She certainly knew how to hit me where it hurt.

"You're the one who wanted me to do this wedding thing. I didn't ask you to pay for that trip, you offered."

"Fine," she said. "But could you please be a little more careful. I can only imagine what headline's going to pop up next with my daughter's face plastered below it."

"I know Mom. I didn't realize that the press were such sensationalist liars."

"Really? You didn't?"

"Well, maybe I did, but I've never had to worry about it before. Believe me, I have a new-found respect for people who have to go through this all the time."

"Me too," she said. "Just be alert every time you leave the house. I really don't think I can take anything else."

"I will mother," I said rolling my eyes.

Like _I_ could take anything else. What is it about parents and having to point out the obvious to their kids no matter how old they are?

"I'll speak to you later," she said and hung up.

A few minutes later, Calla was back. We dug in to the ice cream.

"You realize we were doing this exact same thing when the announcement was first made," I said.

"Oooh, yeah. Maybe we should change the station away from 'Entertainment News.'"

"Eh, I'm actually kind of curious if they're going to break the news of me being fired," I said.

"You sure are taking all of this fairly well," Calla said.

"Only on the outside, Cal. Only on the outside."

The truth was that I was actually calmer than I should have been considering the situation. Until that day, I couldn't even imagine being fired.

Maybe I was still in shock.

Then just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse...

"Tonight on 'Entertainment News,' does he want a Bridesmaid or an old maid?" the reporter began. "Jake Hall seen partying with the forty-one year old costar of his new movie 'A Dangerous Affair.'"

The video had captured Jake dancing very close to his very famous costar who certainly did not look all her forty-one years. Mitzi Golden was notorious for having affairs with her costars and it had been rumored months ago that her and Jake had a fling. On the footage they were looking very cozy.

Calla's gaze was bouncing back and forth from the TV to me.

"Well, isn't that just a fabulous end to a fabulous day," I finally said.

"You know, it actually doesn't look that bad. I mean, look at how crowded that club is. I'm sure they had to dance that close together."

I nodded, but wasn't sure if I totally agreed. It looked like there might be an inch or two behind Mitzi that she could have stepped into.

"And besides, she could have been trying to come on to him and the cameras just happened to catch it. Doesn't mean he was interested. I mean, they always put the most scandalous footage they can get."

"That's true," I said thinking back to the photo on this morning's paper.

The photo was of Jake and I holding hands. In what must have been an instant, Jake had barely grazed Jennifer's back, just to motion for her to go through a doorway first. The picture ended up looking like he was holding on to both of us. It wasn't really that scandalous a photo, but paired with the sensational headline, it became a total friggin' nightmare.

"Well, I guess getting fired isn't as big of news to the rest of the world as it is to me," I said.

Calla looked at me with pity. I clung to the only thing I could.

"I wonder if I should go to Europe right after the wedding," I said. "If ever I needed some time away, this is probably it."

"That's not a bad idea. You'll come home completely refreshed and I'm sure you'll know exactly what you'll want to do by the time you get back."

I was beginning to like the idea of running away, even if it was just for a few weeks.

"And I probably won't be able to get the vacation time once I start a new job."

Calla nodded. "This might actually be the perfect time to go."

I contemplated phoning my mother back right away, but I wasn't sure just how far her compassion was going to spread. It's not like she would just hand over the money before I had completely fulfilled my wedding obligation anyway.

"The wedding will be over before you know it, and you can take some real downtime for yourself. Who knows, this may even be a blessing in disguise."

"Oh Calla, you are such a silver lining kind of girl," I said.

"And what's wrong with that?" she asked.

"Nothing. You're right. I am just going to have to make the best of a cripplingly bad situation."

We clinked our spoons together as if making a toast.

"To Josie the Bridesmaid, and to Josie the world traveler," Calla said.

"I'll eat to that!"

# # #

In the morning I checked my email, mostly hoping that Jake would have some sort of explanation for me about the Mitzi story on 'Entertainment News.' But there was no email from Jake. There was however a new message from Emma.

Dear Bridesmaids,

Can you believe there is only one week left before the wedding! I am pleased to hear from Millicent Munroe that each of you have been to your dress fittings and the dresses should be ready by tomorrow! Hurray!

Please pick up your completed gowns by 5pm Thursday as per the instructions from the Bridal Store.

As my bridal gift to you, you will each be getting massages, mud baths, and your hair, nails, and make up done on Saturday. Each of you will begin your day at 6:30am. I apologize for the early hour, but that was the only possible time to ensure everyone is ready for the two pm ceremony.

I'd also like to extend a special thank you from the bottom of my heart to each of you for being such good sports during this special time. I am honored to have each of you stand up for me.

Your Bride,

Emma VanHorn

Cool, I thought. Spa day again. It was surprising how quickly a person could get used to a pampered life. I'd had so many salon visits and shopping trips in the past couple of months that I'd almost become used to spending money as if it would always be readily available to me. I could have definitely lived with a few more weeks of the high life before I had to come plummeting back down to reality.

The rest of the week flew by, which was surprising, since I didn't have to take time out of my days to go to work. Mattie took me to pick up my dress and told me all about the people at the office. My scandal was still pretty much the only thing anyone was talking about. Apparently everyone was fighting over whether or not my firing was fair or not. Mattie of course, was leading the charge of not fairs.

The dress fit perfectly, thank God, I didn't think I could have dealt with trying on one more item of clothing.

I'd hoped that Emma would arrange for the dresses to be sent to the building where the ceremony was being held. It made me nervous carrying it around the city. Obviously I wasn't the least accident-prone person in the world. Usually when something was valuable and couldn't be readily replaced, it had a way of ending up destroyed while in my care. Luckily Mattie took charge and held it all the way to my apartment, and even placed it carefully into my closet. Now I'd only have to worry about transporting it to the wedding hall.

# # #

Friday morning, I woke up excited about the dress rehearsal that night. Finally I'd see Jake again. I still hadn't heard from him after seeing him dancing with Mitzi Golden on 'Entertainment News.'

Why hasn't he called? I wondered. He said he would call. He should have been back in town for a day or two by now. Could he really have started something up with Mitzi Golden?

I shook my head and tried to convince myself not to think about it. There was nothing I could do, and worrying would only make things worse. I had a dress rehearsal to get ready for, and I didn't even have an outfit yet. I could not believe Mattie let me leave it this long, but he'd been so busy with extra work at the office due to my little departure, he just couldn't squeeze it in. I had no choice but to attempt to get to the secret dress shop on my own. I remembered the block it was on and gave the information to the driver.

"You sure you want to go there?" he asked.

I assured him that it would be okay and he drove to the dingy neighborhood. As we got closer and closer, my stomach began to churn. I'd forgotten how scary this place was.

As we pulled up to the building, the driver said I needed to pay him in case he needed to make a quick get away. There was a man standing near the entrance to the building that I did not like the look of. I ran into the building, my heart beating out of my chest, and rushed to the special door and knocked three times quietly. The door opened slowly. The same small man was working.

"Hello," I said, and smiled.

He smiled back and let me in.

I hoped that I would have the same luck as we had the last time. This time around, the appropriate dress was semi-formal, but now, more than ever, I wanted to look good for Jake.

I picked out three dresses in my size to try on. I could have probably found dozens, but I couldn't stand the thought of trying them all on. I hoped at least one of the three would fit.

The first two were so-so, but the last one, a gorgeous Vera Wang chiffon knee length strapless, fit beautifully and the deep red color complimented my skin tone to a tea.

I hope it's okay to wear red this time, I thought. Eh, what's she gonna do? Kick me out of the wedding the day before?

I quickly paid for the dress, from the former travel fund of course. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that my cab was still waiting for me when I came out.

"Oh, thank God you're still here," I said.

"No problem Miss," he said and winked at me.

I arrived home safely, though it took a lot more time than I had anticipated. I'd only have two hours to get ready. Two hours might seem like a lot of time, but when you have to shower and get your hair and makeup done, two hours goes by really fast.

I got started immediately. About an hour later, Mattie arrived to help me.

He nodded as he held up the dress. "Good choice, honey. Good choice. You've come a long way in the fashion department."

"Thanks," I said. "I owe it all to you."

"Yes you do," he said smiling. "Maybe I should become a style teacher."

"You'd probably make a killing with your natural-born talent," I said.

"Oh believe me, it was not natural-born. You're not born with style, being this good takes years of study. Now what are we going to do with this rat's nest today?" he said and tousled my hair.

"Good Lord Mattie, if you're going to become a style teacher, you might want to work on your people skills."

He waved his hand at my comment. "Yeah, yeah."

By the time Mattie was finished and I squeezed into my gown I felt like a princess again.

"Dressing up like this is so much fun," I said.

"And you look spectacular as usual," Mattie said. "Hey, where's Calla?"

"I don't know. I was wondering that too. Usually she's home by six, and that was like an hour ago."

Mattie shrugged. "She must have gone out with some friends or something."

"It's weird though, she usually phones to let me know if she's going to be late."

"I wouldn't worry about it, she's a big girl," Mattie said.

"I guess so. I thought she might be here to wish me luck though."

"Oh well, I will wish you luck. And make sure you find out what's up with Jake. I'm dying to know why he hasn't call you."

"Ugh. I'm not. I just know he's hooked up with that horrible Mitzi chick and has forgotten all about me."

Mattie rolled his eyes. "Come on. Who in their right mind would choose some washed up old prune like her when they have you, Little Miss Hotness?"

I giggled a little. "Thanks, I think." I wasn't sure if being called Little Miss Hotness was that great of a compliment, but I was willing to take whatever I could get. I had to try to find a lighter attitude if I was going to be confident with Jake tonight.

I took a deep breath and walked out the door. Mattie followed. My usual driver was waiting for me in the lobby. Mattie grabbed my arm hard.

"Oh my God! Who is that?"

"That's Gary, my driver."

"He's hot," he said, singing.

"Did you hear what I just said?" I laughed at myself. "What an idiot. I just said my driver. As if I have a driver."

But Mattie was not paying attention to me at all. He was much more interested what Gary was doing. Interestingly, Gary seemed a little smitten with Mattie too.

"Introduce us," Mattie whispered, that is if you can whisper a demand.

I pulled Mattie with me over to Gary and introduced the two of them. But neither one of them was paying any attention to me at all. They were already shaking hands and they both kept their eyes locked on one another. Both of them looked like love struck schoolgirls. After a few more awkward seconds, I cleared my throat hoping that the noise would snap them out of their trances.

I didn't.

"Um, hello? I believe we have to get going," I said rather loudly.

"Oh, uh, yeah. Right," Gary said and cleared his throat. "It was nice to meet you." He was still shaking Mattie's hand. He finally let go and we all walked out to the car. Gary opened my door for me.

"I'll see you around," he said to Mattie standing on the sidewalk, staring.

"So um, your friend seems nice," Gary said once we had driven away.

"He is," I said smiling. "Perhaps the two of you could exchange numbers or something."

He cleared his throat. "Um, yes. Perhaps," he said.

I snickered. It was kind of cute how he was all nervous about it. "I'll try to make sure that Mattie is there, you know, to wish me luck tomorrow before the wedding."

"Sure, that would be nice Miss McMaster," Gary said.

The two obviously had an immediate connection. How could they not at least meet one more time?

We arrived at the rehearsal dinner, which was a little lower key than the other wedding events had been. Well, other than the Bachelorette party, that is. It was held at a restaurant rather than a big banquet hall, and the atmosphere was definitely much quieter. The restaurant was dim, candles being the only source of light. It was very intimate, cozy and comfortable. It felt a little strange to be so dressed up, but I certainly did not stand out, considering Emma was in a full-length evening gown and the rest of the Bridesmaids were at least as formal as me.

There was no escort this time around to guide me to where I should go, so I just walked in, thinking I could blend in. Wrong. But every eye in the house stopped and stared. The other Bridesmaids were cordial but I could see the evil in Rebecca's eyes. Some of the men however seemed especially interested in me, judging from some of the up and down glances I was getting. Jake even got an elbow to the gut from his brother.

"Hi everyone," I said with a smile, hoping to break the moment of awkwardness that I was feeling.

There was a smattering of hellos and most of the people turned away and went about their business.

"What took you so long?" Jennifer said. "I am dying here by myself."

"Sorry," I said. "It seems Mattie and my driver have a little... something in common." I raised my eyebrows a couple of times.

"Oooh, really," she said raising one of hers.

A waiter with a tray full of wine passed by and I took a glass of red. I had been hoping to sneak a moment with Jake before dinner, but we were seated a few minutes later. Much to my disappointment, I was seated on the complete opposite end of the table from him, and since we were still being seated as partners, it meant Jennifer was way over there too.

I was seated across from Emma's slimy brother, and Bobbi Lynne was beside me. I suddenly wished I'd brought earplugs. At least when I locked eyes with Jake for a brief moment, he looked almost as disappointed as I was. Rebecca seemed to be in her glory to be seated near him though. Poor Jennifer couldn't stop rolling her eyes at everyone and everything. I had to stop making eye contact with her, or I'd have giggle fit for sure.

The meal was wonderful, and if only I would have been able to block out Bobbi Lynne and the ever annoying Eric VanHorn, I might have even enjoyed it. Jake kept giving me looks throughout the night that made me believe that the rumors about him and Mitzi Golden were just that, rumors.

When dessert was finished, we were ushered straight from the dinner table to a larger room where the wedding planner, the infamous Millicent Munroe, ran through all the procedures for the wedding the next day. I was a little surprised that we were going to be involved in the wedding pictures, it's not like we were real Bridesmaids or anything, but apparently we were. Ms. Munroe was, probably more accurately, calling them publicity photos.

The evening ended with a quick walk through of the ceremony and then we were all ushered back out to our waiting cars.

"Please get as much beauty sleep as you can," Emma instructed as she waved us all off. "You want to be in top shape for tomorrow."

I was a little peeved that I didn't get a second alone with Jake. At least I knew he wasn't avoiding me.

At least I hoped not.

~ 17 ~

Dear Disaster Diary,

_Where are you?_ I wrote on a blank piece of paper. _Today is my big day and you aren't even here for me. Sigh. I suppose I must have left you out in the living room or something. Too bad I don't have time to look for you – because today is the big day!_

I set down the scrap of paper and stretched, not really ready to wake up yet, but my spa appointment was fast approaching. And when I thought about it, that was definitely something worth waking up for.

I quickly showered and got dressed and rushed out to the spa, not bothering with makeup or my hair.

They fed each of us breakfast and coffee, which I was in dire need of to help wake me up. I wasn't used to getting up so early, especially after I had spent the last four days sleeping in since I had no job to go to. I figured I deserved a few days of sleeping in. After all, I hadn't slept in much in the past five years since college.

What started out as a wonderfully relaxing spa day, soon turned into a whirlwind of primping, painting, pulling, prodding, and coiffing. I had no idea that you could walk out of a spa about ten times more stressed than you were going in. And of course I was paired with Bobbi Lynne for absolutely everything. Jennifer looked about as pleased as I was to be paired with Rebecca.

Finally we were free to go, but not really, because cars were already there to pick us up and take us home to get changed into our Bridesmaid dresses. We only had twenty minutes at home and fifteen more to get to the hall.

Gary was my driver, as usual. I rushed into my building and was greeted by Mattie in the lobby.

"Hey," he said. "Is that my handsome future boyfriend out there?"

"You're sounding a little less tongue tied over Gary today." I flashed him a mischievous smile.

He swatted my arm lightly. "Oh shush. Can I help it if I get a little floopy over someone? It could be love at first sight you know."

"Really?" I looked at him over my shoulder as I headed towards the stairs. "I don't think I've ever heard you use the word love before."

"I know," he said rushing behind me. "Did he say anything about me?"

"Are we in junior high? Are you gonna meet him behind the bleachers after third period?"

He leaned into me, pushing me lightly into the wall.

"Whoa, careful there Mattie, this hairdo took forever."

"Sorry," he said. "You look great by the way."

"I was wondering when you were gonna notice," I said.

"Well, it's hard to notice anything when a firm piece of man candy like that is nearby."

"Firm piece of man candy. Now that's a picture."

I unlocked the door and tossed my keys on the side table. "Just wait 'til I get dressed, I'll be so fabulous, you'll forget all about my driver."

He raised an eyebrow. "I don't doubt that you will look fabulous, but I do doubt that I'm going to forget about Gary down there," he said, peeking through the curtains.

I giggled. "Nice little spy act you've got going on there."

"Oh shush," he said. He stood on his toes to get a better view of the street while trying to stay hidden from view.

"He doesn't even know which window is mine," I yelled, as I headed down the hall to my room.

"Whatever," he yelled.

I quickly, though extremely carefully, changed into the gorgeous Bridesmaid gown. A glance in the mirror confirmed that I was looking like a princess.

Hmm. And I'm about to go reign in my prince.

I came back up the hall and found Mattie exactly as I had left him, peeking down at the street.

"Oh lover boy," I said. "How do I look?"

Mattie was in the midst of rolling his eyes at me, but stopped. "You look marvelous."

"Thanks," I said. "Now walk me down to my car, would you?"

"Like you had to ask," he said putting his arm out for me.

"I can't believe it's the wedding already. It went by so fast," Mattie said. "Now what am I going to do for a project?"

"You know, it's not the most flattering thing in the world being referred to as a project," I said.

"Well of course not now," he said. "But when we first started..."

"Finish that sentence, and I won't let you say hello to Gary," I said.

His eyes opened wide and he made a zipping motion past his lips.

"You look lovely Miss McMaster," Gary said as we stepped outside.

Which was totally weird since it didn't really seem like outside all of a sudden. Black curtained partitions had somehow miraculously sprouted from my building door, all the way to the car, creating a little hallway for me.

"Thank you, Gary," I said. "What's with the walls?"

"Don't want the paparazzi to see the dresses," he said, opening the car door for me.

I knew I probably had a few minutes to kill while Gary and Mattie flirted a little, so for the first time since I'd been enjoying rides in the luxurious car, I opened the bottle of champagne.

Today is a celebration right? I thought. My only regret was that I had no one to share it with. Champagne is so much sweeter when shared with someone special. Like a hot movie star perhaps. Several minutes and one calm-my-nerves glass of champagne later, Mattie was sticking his head in the window to wish me luck.

"You're going to be the belle of the ball," he said.

"I hope not," I said. "Or else Emma VanHorn will have my head."

He leaned in and gave me a peck on the cheek. "Good luck sweetie," he said.

"Thanks for being here Mattie, which is a lot more than I can say for some of my friends."

"Yeah, I know. Where is Calla anyway?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Who knows? She said she would be here to see me off... come to think of it, I haven't seen her for a while. Like two days, I think."

"I'm sure she's just busy," Mattie said. "This is not the time to worry about it. This is the time to worry about how you're going to dance all night with Jake Hall."

I smiled as Mattie backed away from the car and waved us off. I could see Gary watching him in the rearview mirror.

"So, are you going to ask him out?" I asked.

His gaze moved slightly from Mattie to me. He smiled. "I think I just might," he said, finally turning his attention to the road.

He is quite handsome, I thought. I can see what Mattie sees in him. Hmm. Maybe Jake and I can double with them sometime.

I almost laughed at the thought, imagining the field day the tabloids would have with that one. I poured myself another glass of champagne and leaned back to enjoy these last few minutes of peace and quiet before the circus began.

Just as we were pulling up to the event hall, I downed the last splash of champagne in my glass. Gary drove us around the building to a fence and honked three times. There were reporters everywhere. The windows in the car were blacked out, but the paparazzi never stopped their flashes. Most of them backed off as we drove slowly through the gate. I thought it was a bit strange that they didn't try to get through the gate with us. Maybe they had already tried with a previous vehicle and were stopped.

We drove through and as we pulled around, two large flaps were opened on a giant tent. Gary pulled the car right inside.

"What's with the tent?" I asked.

Gary pointed towards the sky. "So the helicopters don't catch a glimpse of the wedding party before the bride and groom are ready to release photos to the press."

"Wow, it's all very secretive," I said.

"The first glimpses of anything wedding related are worth a lot of money to the tabloids. Mr. Hall and Miss. VanHorn do not want anything leaked. 'Entertainment News must have set it all up because they've got the exclusive to cover the wedding."

He pulled the car to a stop. "Well, are you ready Miss McMaster?"

I nodded once and Gary jumped out to open the door for me. I could see that even though it was exclusive, there were still plenty of cameras and reporters around. Each of the cameras and microphones had 'Entertainment News' plastered on them.

Gary opened the door and an escort took my hand to help me out. Flashes started going off, though not as many as I had begrudgingly become accustomed to.

"Miss McMaster," the reporter from 'Entertainment News' shoved a microphone at me. She was the same reporter who I'd watched only three short months ago announce my name on the TV. "How do you feel now that the big wedding day has finally arrived?"

I was totally caught off guard about the impromptu interview.

I cleared my throat and gave the reporter my best smile. "I'm just so honored to be a part of all of this. I'm really looking forward to the festivities of the day."

Another car was entering the tent and the cameras turned towards it. I was relieved that I hadn't had much time to embarrass myself on camera and graciously walked away on the arm of my handsome escort thinking, not too shabby McMaster, not too shabby.

Inside, people were milling around everywhere. Although most of the people were there to assist with the organization of the wedding and the production of the TV event, they were all dressed formally, even the people carrying cameras and wearing headsets.

My escort led me down a long hallway to a door marked Bridesmaids. He knocked, and it opened quickly by someone I'd never seen before.

"Thank you," I said to the escort, and entered the Bridesmaid waiting area.

"Welcome, Miss McMaster," the girl who had opened the door said as she closed it behind me. It was hard getting used to so many people knowing my name and having absolutely no idea who they were.

"Thanks," I said looking around, trying to get my bearings.

Bobbi Lynne was in the far right corner with three people bustling around her picking imaginary pieces of lint off her dress and smoothing invisible flyaways from her hair. Her mouth didn't slow down even when one of the assistants plucked a stray eyebrow. She just let out a quick 'ouch' and kept on chattering.

Jennifer waved at me from the other side of the room. She had one eye closed while the make up artist I recognized from the salon touched up her face. Ms. Munroe barked orders at all the people in the room. There was one girl in particular she barked at the most who was frantically writing in a tiny notebook and nodding without looking up.

A second later, I was being pulled in Jennifer's direction by another assistant type person. Someone pulled a chair in beside Jennifer as if they had rehearsed the routine a million times. The make up artist immediately moved from Jennifer to me. I could hear Jennifer sigh of relief beside me. And I could see why. At the salon, she'd been so careful while applying the make up, but now apparently there was a bit more of a rush. She was dipping into makeup with lightning speed and applying with a force that I thought surely must be damaging to my eyeballs beneath their closed lids. All I could think of was how brave Jennifer had been to risk opening one eye during the process. I was worried that if I opened one of mine for even a second, she might stab me with one of the dozens of tiny brushes she was using.

There was a knock at the door exactly the same as the knock my escort had given.

"Is that a secret knock or something?" I asked, trying not to move my face too much.

"I think so," Jennifer said. "Can you believe how tight security is?"

"I know. That tent thing was really weird," I said. "I'm surprised that they let us change at home."

"Welcome Miss Singleton," the assistant said and closed the door again.

Oh great, I thought. I heard Jennifer sigh beside me.

"Please come with me, Miss Wilson," someone said to Jennifer.

I could hear shuffling beside me as Jennifer got up. Bobbi Lynne's chatter died down a little on the other side of the room. I assumed that the assistants had finally let her go and it was now Jennifer's turn to be poked and picked at. Someone sat down in the empty chair beside me. Almost immediately the makeup application on me stopped.

A few seconds later, I risked opening one eye. The makeup artist had moved on to Rebecca who was sitting in the vacated chair. I wanted to get up and walk around a bit, but I knew I should probably sit as much as I could before everything started. Who knew how long I'd have to stand in high heels after it all started.

The primping continued for several minutes until there was one last secret knock on the door and a tired looking man announced that we had five minutes. Every body except the four Bridesmaids jumped into action. I don't really know what everyone was doing, but they were all certainly making a point of looking busy.

The man returned what I'm sure was _exactly_ five minutes later, and led the four of us further down the long hallway.

We were each handed a bouquet of flowers.

"Oh shit," I said quietly to Jennifer. "I'm allergic to eucalyptus."

"What? You've got to be kidding me," an assistant said frantically. "Well it's too late now. They're already playing the warm up music. Just try not to let it touch you."

We lined up in the order that we were supposed to walk out. I looked around but couldn't see Emma anywhere.

The double doors opened in front of us. What seemed like a thousand people all turned to look at us. The walk up song began.

Bobbi Lynne left on her mark. The wedding planner was there and signaling frantically, even though everyone knew the cues. Rebecca left as the music hit her mark. It was my turn next. I took a few deep breaths waiting for my cue. It hit. I started walking.

Please don't let me trip, please don't let me trip, I repeated over and over in my head. All my concentration was focused on three things. Fake smile, don't wobble in heels, walk in time to the music. It worked flawlessly until I neared the front of the aisle. And then I saw him.

Jake was looking positively delicious in his tuxedo, and I thought I was about to faint when he looked at me and smiled. For a moment, I imagined that I was the bride, walking toward my groom. A motion beside Jake caught my attention. Eric VanHorn was smiling broadly, the light catching his braces. Our eyes met and he actually winked. Ew. My daydream instantly screeched to a halt. I somehow made my way to my assigned spot beside Rebecca.

Jake kept his eyes on me, and unfortunately so did Eric. I very consciously did not make eye contact with Eric again, and kept my eyes fixed on Jake until Jennifer was taking her place beside me.

Just as she was taking her last steps, the bridal march began. The whole thing was choreographed to the millisecond. Everyone stood simultaneously and I could only assume that Emma had entered the hall based on all the ooohs and ahhhs that were making their way through the crowded room.

What seemed like several minutes later, Emma finally came into view. She looked spectacular in her custom Alfred Sung. I could see now why she wasn't worried that our gowns were beautiful. She'd made sure she would still outshine us all in her gorgeous beaded gown. Her hair was down over her shoulders and the look was set off with a short veil.

The ceremony went by slowly. The first fifteen minutes were fine, but it wasn't long before my feet began to hurt. A couple of the groomsmen were getting fidgety, particularly Eric VanHorn, who I'm sure wasn't used to doing something so strenuous as standing for fifteen minutes straight.

I looked down and realized that the eucalyptus must have touched my neck. Red splotches were starting to form.

Oh great, I thought. Why the crap do I have to be so pale? As soon as I saw the splotches, my neck began to itch. I resisted the intense urge to scratch.

Finally, after Emma and Alan had each given their very long vows to each other, and an excruciatingly long kiss, the ceremony came to an end. I cringed as I took Eric's arm to head back up the aisle and let go the second we were out of eyeshot of the guests. It was difficult not to shudder.

We were escorted back to the room where we'd been getting our last minute touch ups done. I plopped down on the first chair I saw and took off my shoes.

"Good Lord that was a long ceremony," I said.

"I know what you mean, these shoes are the worst," Jennifer said undoing hers.

"Don't get too comfortable girls," one of the assistants said. "They'll be calling you for photographs in fifteen minutes."

Several people were still in the room apparently awaiting our return so that they could get back to work on us.

"We've barely moved!" Jennifer said flinching back from a giant powder puff. "It's not even possible that we need more makeup."

"Oh yes it is," the powder puff lady said. "All the lights, all the shine." She dabbed at Jennifer's forehead.

I giggled a little at the wincing face that Jennifer was making. The powder puff turned my way. But instead of dabbing my face the lady gasped.

"Oh my God, what happened to you?" she asked, panicked.

"What?"

Jennifer looked at me and suddenly her eyes grew wide. "Josie, you've got big red welts all over you!"

I groaned. "It's the stupid Eucalyptus."

The powder puff lady began talking frantically into her headset. "SOS in the Bridesmaid lounge, I repeat, SOS in the Bridesmaid lounge."

Jennifer and I exchanged confused glances.

The door burst open and Millicent Munroe flew into the room.

"What! What's the emergency?" she asked.

The powder puff lady didn't say anything. She slowly pointed to my chest.

"Gah," Ms. Munroe said and jumped back a step. She began frantically digging through a pack that was around her waist. "Thank God for the emergency pack," she said and produced a small bottle of antihistamines.

"I think it's the Eucalyptus," I said and bowed my head. "Sorry." I was a little afraid to make eye contact.

"Take these," she demanded, handing me two of the pills. She started to gather up all the bouquets. She thrust them at one of the assistants. "Have the Eucalyptus removed. Substitute with the Holly leaves." She turned to me. "Are there any other allergies you've forgotten to tell us about?" She had her hand on her hip and looked very disappointed in me.

I shook my head.

"Why didn't you fill out that you were allergic on your entry form?" Jennifer whispered to me.

"I didn't fill out the stupid form. I guess my mother forgot about my allergy," I said.

"Oh my God," she said, looking at my neck. "I hope those pills kick in quick."

"Me too," I said. I lightly rubbed my hand over it. It did very little to relieve the itching. "It must look horrible. I just want to scratch the shit out of it."

Miss Powder Puff oh so generously held up a mirror in front of me.

Gee thanks, I thought. How very helpful you are.

The splotches were pretty bad. They weren't quite the crimson color my dress was, but they were close.

"Just relax," the wedding planner said. "Stress will make it worse." She turned to the assistant. "I'm going to go see if I can buy a little time. Make sure she stays calm." Ms. Munroe gave Miss Powder Puff a glare and stormed back out of the room.

I am definitely going to have to remember this one for the Disaster Diary, I thought to myself.

Someone fetched me a cold cloth to hold over my neck to try to soothe the hideous red patches.

Several minutes later they called us for photos. A quick check in the mirror told me that the swelling had gone down and most of the red had disappeared.

I'm going to have to find out what kind of antihistamines those were, I thought.

"You look so much better," Jennifer said. "I'm sure no one will even notice."

Ms. Munroe stopped me on the way out. She pulled my shoulders square to her and scrutinized my neck. She let out a little sigh. "Well, at least it's better. We'll have to try to keep you 'til the end," she said.

Great. I thought I was looking pretty good again. Apparently not.

They ushered us into our waiting cars. Each Bridesmaid and groomsmen rode in separate vehicles.

"They really don't want us fraternizing with each other, do they?" I said to Gary as I slid into the car.

He just chuckled a little.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Out of the city. There are some cliffs near the river south of town that Emma wanted to get pictures taken at."

"Really? That's weird. The helicopters will be able to track us there, won't they?"

"I'm not sure. I think it's a military no fly zone or something."

"Ah, smart," I said as we drove along.

"Was the wedding nice?" he asked.

"Yes. It was nice. But long."

He nodded.

"Not to mention that I was having a horrible allergic reaction to the flowers."

"Really?" he said. "You look fine to me. I never would have noticed anything."

"Thanks. You'll have to tell the wedding planner that. She thinks I'm a wretched mess."

He chuckled again. "I doubt that, Miss McMaster."

I felt a little better now that Gary hadn't noticed the red splotches. Even though I knew they weren't, in my mind they'd been becoming oozing red boils.

I used the time in the car to quickly write down the hive incident on a cocktail napkin I'd found near the fresh bottle of Champagne, and also to wonder where the hell my Disaster Diary was.

The view was spectacular from atop the cliff that Emma and Alan had picked out. There was a backdrop of forest and a running stream below the cliff.

I'd been dying to get a minute alone with Jake. It seemed like forever since we'd talked, even though we'd been in the same room several times.

Wait a minute... we _had_ been in the same room several times, I thought as I accepted Gary's hand to help me out of the car. The banquet last night, today at the wedding. Oh God, was Jake avoiding me? Wait Josie, don't get ahead of yourself, obviously he couldn't talk at the ceremony, and he had definitely made some eye contact. But I wonder if he could have found the time to talk to me at the supper last night?

"Hey," a voice shook me out of my daydream freak out.

"Oh, hey," I said, turning to see Jake.

Okay. Whew. He's not avoiding me.

"How've you been?" he asked. "I feel like we keep missing each other."

"I was just thinking about that," I said, smiling. "I thought maybe you were avoiding me last night or something."

His smile weakened my knees. "I thought the same thing about you."

"Come on!" Ms. Munroe was shouting, and clapping her hands. "We don't have all day people."

Jake rolled his eyes and walked me over to the area where the photographer was and let go of my arm.

And that was the last moment we had together until the reception.

~ 18 ~

"Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome, for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Alan Hall!" the MC announced as the bride and groom made their way into the reception.

The rest of us were already seated. I was relieved to finally be back beside Jennifer, though yet again, I was about a mile and a half away from Jake.

"I am never going to get to talk to him," I complained to Jennifer.

"Who?" Bobbi Lynne interrupted with her toothy grin.

I hadn't imagined that she would eavesdrop on our conversation. "Never mind," I said and stared at the plate in front of me.

Jennifer gave her a 'what the hell?' look. Bobbi Lynne didn't seem phased at all. I was sure that sort of thing happened to her a lot.

Jennifer kicked me lightly under the table.

"What?" I said.

She nodded toward the centre of the table where Rebecca was sitting. Rebecca was staring right at me, or more correctly, glaring.

"What did I do?" I said quietly.

Jennifer shrugged.

Even after I'd caught her staring, she didn't stop. The bride and groom were finally being seated after several handshakes and 'congratulations' as they'd waded through the tables.

Rebecca turned and hugged Emma as if they were best friends. Jennifer let out an unladylike scoffing sound.

The dinner was very formal and was followed by a very long program where several of the couple's friends make speeches. Jake got up and gave the best man speech, but it was one of Emma's actual friends that did the toast to her.

"I am so glad we get to sit for this," I whispered to Jennifer.

"No kidding," she whispered back. "My feet are still killing me though. Why is it that when you wear dress shoes, they don't stop hurting even after you sit down?"

I smiled and shrugged one shoulder a bit. Behind Jennifer, Rebecca was continuing to glare at me. I smiled sweetly at her. She narrowed her eyes even more.

I turned my attention back to the drone of the speeches.

When they were finally done, the dance began.

"And now ladies and gentlemen, the couple's first dance as man and wife."

"Does this all sound very old-fashioned to you?" Jennifer asked as we clapped along with the rest of the guests.

"Totally. I can't believe that the guy called them Mr. and Mrs. Alan Hall," I said.

"Yeah. I think I actually saw Emma's mother's eye twitch."

"And now we'll have the wedding party join the happy couple," the DJ announced.

"Ugh. Gross," I said as Eric VanHorn neared. "Trade ya."

"Not on your life my dear, not on your life."

Jake gave me a little smile as he passed by Eric and I on his way to Jennifer. Eric gave Jake the thumbs up.

Oh gross, I thought. Ew, ew, ew, please don't let him touch my bare skin, please don't let him touch my bare skin.

He touched my bare skin. Oh gross, oh gross, oh gross. I am going to die.

"Hey!" I said. "Watch the hands. And stop staring at my breasts!"

As Jennifer and Jake danced past us, I could hear them both laughing at my comment. I shot them a nasty look. Rebecca, on the other side of the dance floor, looked quite satisfied at my misery. I couldn't help but keep wondering why she was so pissed at me.

"Whoa! There's a feely Freddie out on the dance floor," the DJ yelled into the mic, just after I had slapped Eric's hand away one more time.

My face instantly turned red, and brought the previous splotches back. Eric gave the DJ his usual thumbs up along with his ridiculous, arrogant grin.

I hung my head, trying to hide my redness and shame.

Oh Disaster Diary, you will certainly get a workout tonight.

The never-ending dance finally did the miraculous and ended. I rushed off the dance floor as quickly as possible and headed straight for the shadows. I could tell that the redness in my face had not yet disappeared.

"That guy is such a spaz," Jennifer said.

"That was so embarrassing," I said as if I were nine years old again.

"Don't let it bother you so much, Josie. Everyone knows what a creepazoid he is. You should have seen some of the faces in the crowd. They were so feeling sorry for you."

"How can he not know how disgusting he is?" I wondered.

"Nobody really knows when they're disgusting," Jennifer said. "Otherwise they would do something about it."

"Just tell me if he's getting close to me," I said. "I don't think I could handle a sneak attack."

"I promise," she said. "Oooh, look. There are some of Jake's actor friends. I wonder if it would be bad to sort of just saunter over and flirt a little."

"No! Please don't leave me alone," I said.

"Are you sure?" she said pointing in the direction of Jake who was walking towards us.

"Oh shit! Is my face starting to calm down yet?"

"You look good. Don't worry so much." She gave me a little wave as she walked away towards the table full of movie stars.

"Hi," I said as Jake approached.

"Hey," he said, handing me a glass of champagne. "So Eric hey?" He elbowed me as if he were bugging a buddy.

"Oh shut up." I shuddered a little.

"Oh come on, is he really that bad?"

"Are you kidding me? He's the slimiest slime ball I've ever seen."

"I know, I was just bugging you. I can't believe I'm sorta related to that guy now. He always wants to hang out with me at clubs and stuff."

"Oh God, really? I thought I had it bad. I suppose he thinks you're like his wing man or something?"

Jake nearly spit out the mouthful of champagne that he'd just taken. Somehow he managed not to.

Oh sure, I thought. If it's Jake Hall, it doesn't actually spew everywhere. But if it were me on the other hand...

"Sorry," he said wiping his mouth a bit.

"Don't worry, I'm the clumsiest person on the face of the earth."

"I find that hard to believe," he said.

"Good. I hope you never see that side of me."

"Aw, come on, I want to see every side of you," he said in a very flirty way.

Oh my, is Jake Hall making sexual innuendo references to me? Well I never. Never dreamed of it, that is. I smiled and playfully dropped my gaze.

He set down his glass and took my hand, leading me out to the dance floor without saying a word.

He looked into my eyes as we danced. Then he pulled me tight, too close to keep looking at each other. Close enough that our heads were side by side. I leaned into him and closed my eyes. I wanted to savor every last second of being this close to Jake. I breathed in deeply, enjoying his designer cologne. I hoped he couldn't feel my heart racing.

But the song ended too soon and the DJ decided to turn it up a notch with some faster music.

"I'm not really in the mood to dance to this," Jake said.

I nodded and followed him off the dance floor. Not that I had a choice, he had taken my hand again. I was getting used to the feeling of his hand automatically finding mine when we were together.

A waiter walked by with a tray of champagne. Jake let go of my hand for a second to grab two glasses, but as soon as he handed one to me, his hand found mine again.

"So, are you glad all this is almost over?" he asked, waving his champagne in a sweeping circle.

"Yes," I said. "And no. There are definitely some parts that I've enjoyed."

"I am so sorry about everything that has happened to you through all this. The press really picked on you," he said.

I shrugged. "Yeah, some bad stuff has happened. Some of the worst stuff that had ever happened to me actually," I said. "But some of the best too. I mean, not every girl gets to play Cinderella for three months straight."

"Cinderella hey?" he said. "Am I your Prince Charming?"

"Absolutely," I said. I took a deep breath and decided that tonight was probably my last chance to be around Jake. If I was going to do anything other than pine away for him for the next twenty years, I'd better do something about it soon. "I really like you Jake, and not because you're a movie star or anything. Actually, I kind of wish you weren't a movie star. That way I might have a chance to be with someone like you."

His face was serious. "Why would you think you wouldn't have a chance with someone like me? You're gorgeous, you're intelligent, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about you for three months."

"What? Really?" I said, genuinely in shock.

"Really." He leaned down and kissed me.

Jake Hall is kissing me and he doesn't even care who sees! I screamed to myself. Oh shut up stupid voice in my head. Jake Hall is kissing you, just try to enjoy it.

We spent the rest of the night dancing when there were slow songs, drinking a fair amount of champagne, and letting go of each other's hands only when we had to use the restroom.

The dance came to an end, too soon, for me anyway. The DJ called last call and an announcement was made that the cars were ready and waiting to drive the Bridesmaids home.

"I don't want this night to end," I said.

"It doesn't have to, I could give you a ride home," Jake said. "Do you want to go somewhere else?"

"Sure." I was up for almost anything if it meant not leaving Jake's side anytime soon.

"Okay. What should we do? Club?"

I shook my head. I guess I wasn't really up for anything. The last thing I wanted was some loud bar where we wouldn't even be able to talk.

"Yeah, you're right, too loud. Hmm."

"How about we just go for a walk or something," I suggested, forgetting about the pain in my feet.

"I'd love to, but I don't think we'd be able to sneak past the paparazzi."

"Oh yeah, that must be so weird for you to have to deal with all the time."

"Yeah, it takes a while. Don't worry, you'll get used to it."

Did he just say I'd get used to it? Does that mean I'd have to get used to it because I'll be dating him? Holy crap!

"Maybe we should just find someplace quiet to hang out. I could really use some down time after all of this," he continued on as if he hadn't just dropped a huge hint.

"My place isn't too far," I said.

Oh God, he's going to totally think I'm a slut. I just asked him to hang out at my place at one o'clock in the morning.

"Sure. But how do we get past the paparazzi?" he asked.

"Why don't we just take the car that's waiting for me? The windows are all blacked out. They'll never know who's inside. I'm sure most of the photographers will be looking for you and Emma and Alan. They probably won't care about any of us Bridesmaids anymore, now that the wedding's over, we all just go back to our regular lives."

"Don't be so sure, those guys can be relentless," he said. "But yeah, maybe there won't be too many that try to follow us. We could drive around for a while and try to lose them or something."

I raised one eyebrow. "There's champagne in the car," I said.

"Then what are we waiting for?" he said and put his hand in the small of my back, guiding me out the door.

We quickly found Gary.

"Do you mind driving us around for a bit? To lose the paparazzi," I asked.

"No problem Miss McMaster," he said.

We got in the car and Jake popped open the champagne.

"This is the life," I said taking the glass that Jake handed me.

"Yeah," Jake said. "This is the kind of stuff that's easy to get used to. The drivers, the expensive champagne, nice parties."

"If it weren't for all the photographers."

"Yeah, I guess. For the most part they're actually not that bad. It's just when I start dating someone, or party too hard or something, that they're all over me. I try to keep in mind that they're just trying to do their job. To put food on the table."

"But it's so sleazy. Spying on people for money."

"I know, but if one leaves, another one will just take their place."

"I guess so. And it's really the public that perpetuates it all."

"Exactly. But, the public is also who ends up paying my salary in the end, so it's hard to be that upset about it. I just try to remember what the fans might want to see, and what they don't want to see. Within reason."

"Within reason?"

"Well, I'm still going to live my life, I mean none of this is worth it if I can't live my life the way I want to," he said. "You know, I'm not going to date some movie star just because that's what the public wants. I'm going to date someone I have a connection with."

Hmm. Interesting that he's bringing up the movie star thing. "Like last week when they tried to say you were with Mitzi Golden."

"Exactly, and I wasn't even dancing with her, there was about ten of us all dancing in one big group."

"Really? Did they use some sort of trick photograph or something, because that lady looked like she was all over you."

"Yeah, well," he said clearing his throat. "That's Mitzi for you. She can be a little, um, forward."

I laughed. "Don't worry. There are people like that out here in the real world too. You know, guys like Eric VanHorn."

"Not that's he's really a part of the real world, but yeah, that's exactly what I mean."

I sipped my champagne and looked out the window. Gary was driving us around a huge park. I sat up and looked more closely out the window.

"I didn't even know this park was here," I said.

"That's probably a good thing," Jake said. "I've heard it's not very safe, especially at night."

"Hmm. That's too bad, it looks beautiful."

"Speaking of beautiful, I don't think I told you yet how beautiful you look tonight," he said. "You were the best looking Bridesmaid out there."

"Well thanks. But come on, I mean Rebecca's a model."

"So? That doesn't mean she's beautiful."

"I guess, but..."

"No but. You were."

"Well, okay then," I said and smiled.

We drove in silence for a moment.

"Did you get much of a chance to get to know Jennifer at all?" I asked.

"Yeah, she's cool," he said. "I saw her talking with my friend Dave tonight. Maybe they'll get together."

"Dave Miller?"

"Yeah."

Oh my God! I thought. That would be so awesome, me and Jennifer both dating movie stars.

"That would be cool," I said, trying to sound nonchalant. "Is he a good guy?"

"Yeah, I think so. At least he was three years ago when we worked together."

"That's good," I said.

I leaned back into the seat and sighed. What a night, and it wasn't even over yet. I could never have imagined, in my wildest dreams, how wonderful this experience would be. Oh geez, I thought. Mother. She is so going to take credit for all of this and never let me forget it.

Oh well, I supposed I was actually in debt to her already for entering me in the lotto. And she was going to be paying for my trip. Maybe she was smarter than I gave her credit for.

"What are you thinking about?" Jake asked. "You have this cute little smile on your face."

"Do I?" I said. "I was actually thinking about my mother, if you can believe it."

"Oh, and here I thought you might be thinking about me."

"Well, I was, sort of. I was thinking about how I was really lucky that my mother entered me in the lotto and how weird it was that everything worked out the way it did."

"I guess I'm in debt to your mother then too," Jake said. "If it weren't for her, we wouldn't be here right now."

He leaned down and kissed me again. I couldn't get enough of Jake kissing me. A few seconds later, Gary discreetly closed the dividing window between him and us.

The car came to a stop a few minutes later and Jake and I came up for air.

"It looks like we're here," I said, smoothing my hair.

Jake looked around. "Oh, yeah." He tried to straighten his tie, but ended up making it worse. He finally just took it off all together.

We got out of the car and Gary was dutifully waiting for us outside. "Here we are Miss McMaster," he said.

"Thank you Gary," I said and moved toward my door.

I looked around and was happy to see absolutely no reporters.

"Great job getting rid of the press," Jake said.

"Thank you sir. Will you be needing a ride home? I'd be happy to take you if you like," Gary said.

"Um... No. No thanks. I can grab a cab later," Jake said. He looked at me with the weirdest expression on his face. I think he was waiting to make sure I wasn't offended.

I smiled and held out my hand to let him know I definitely wanted him to come up.

"Have a good evening then," Gary said with a single nod and got back into the car.

He waited to make sure we got into the building okay and I gave him a quick wave before he drove off.

Jake started nuzzling my neck as we were still walking up the stairs.

"Is your roommate home?" he asked.

"I don't know. I think she might have gone to her parent's place in Jersey or something," I said. "I haven't seen her in a couple days."

"Good," he whispered in my ear, grazing it with his lips.

I dropped my keys. I fumbled for a few minutes trying to get into the door with Jake kissing me the whole time. Finally we made it in and we barely got the door closed before we attacked each other.

~ 19 ~

The morning found Jake and I sprawled on my living room couch.

Dear God, I definitely hope Calla went to her parent's house, I thought as I looked around and saw the mess that Jake and I had made the night before.

"Good morning," Jake said as soon as he saw me stir.

I smiled and stretched. "Good morning." More like best morning ever, I thought, but kept that to myself. "How long have you been up?"

"Not long," he said. "I think I actually woke you up when I started moving around."

The buzzer sounded.

"What the hell?" I said. "Everybody knows that I was at the wedding last night. The least they could do is let me sleep in a little." I walked over to the buzzer covered in the cozy blanket we kept on the couch. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's Mattie."

"Come on up," I said and hit the door button.

I ran to my room to grab my robe. When I got back, Jake was wearing his wedding pants from the night before. I giggled.

"What?"

"Nothing, you just remind me of that one stripper guy from the Virgin Islands when you're wearing those pants and no shirt."

"Oh gee, thanks."

I went over and gave him a good morning kiss.

There was a tiny knock on the door.

"Come in!" I yelled.

The door opened and Mattie was standing there, looking pale and worried.

"Mattie!" I said rushing over to him. "What's wrong?"

"Hi," Mattie said and gave Jake a little wave. He turned to me. "Can I talk to you outside for a minute?"

I looked back at Jake. "I'll just be a second."

"Sure, no problem."

Mattie shut the door behind us.

"Mattie. You're scaring me. What's wrong?"

He stared at me in silence. Finally he took a deep breath and handed me the weekend edition of the newspaper.

_Dear Disaster Diary_ the headline said.

I cocked my head to the side. That's funny, I thought. They have the same headline as the entries in my diary. I continued reading.

Bridesmaid's Deepest Confessions and Embarrassing Secrets Revealed.

My eyes grew wide and I started to feel like I was going to barf.

"But... no. How?"

"I think it was Calla," Mattie said quietly.

I looked up at Mattie. He jumped back a little, shocked at the anger that flashed in my eyes.

"Why would you say that?" I practically yelled.

"The article says that the source was your roommate."

My mouth dropped open. "It can't be. Why would she..." I couldn't finish the sentence. I started to scan the article. It looked like they had printed nearly everything.

"I'm sorry Josie," he said quietly.

I shook my head. "Why would Calla... _hate_ me so much?"

"I don't know. We've been talking a lot lately about how you're never around and stuff."

"But I explained all that to her," I said. "She knows why I'm so busy. And after today, it was all going to get better."

Mattie nodded. "Or I think it could be about Jake."

"Jake? She barely even knows Jake."

He shrugged. "I know. But there was something about the way she talked about him. It was really weird."

"It was? I didn't think it was weird," I said.

He shook his head. "It probably wasn't when she was talking to you. It was mostly when she was talking to me about you. And Jake. She kept getting this weird sort of far away look in her eye. And it was strange, she would never say your name. She always just called you 'her' or 'she' when she talked about you with him."

"I can't believe she would do this to me," I said looking at the newspaper again. The tears began to well up in my eyes.

"Come on honey, let's go inside. You need some time. We have to figure out what to do about all this."

"How am I supposed to show my face in public after this kind of humiliation?" I said waving the newspaper.

"I think the first thing we should do is get your apartment locks changed," he said. "If she's willing to do something like this..." He pointed to the paper. "Then who knows what else she might be capable of?"

"Oh God, Jake. I can't let him see this!"

"Josie, he's going to see it sometime," Mattie said.

"Oh my God," I whispered. My voice had left me. I needed to sit.

"Let's just go inside. If you don't want him to see it right away, we won't show it to him."

"Okay," I said.

Mattie took my elbow and guided me through the door.

"Oh, wait a sec, here she is," Jake was saying over the phone.

Why is Jake on my phone, I wondered.

He beamed a smile at me. "It's your mother," he said reaching towards me with the receiver.

Oh God.

"I hope you don't mind that I answered your phone. It was just kind of a reaction."

"No, it's okay," I said and took the phone. "Hello mother."

"Josephine! I'm freaking out. You wrote these things down? Why would you write things like that down? I can't believe this. I will never be able to show my face around town again!"

"Yeah, I know the feeling," I said, on the verge of tears.

"I thought I raised you to be respectful. No self respecting person would ever write anything like this down," she yelled.

"Look mom, I know this is bad." I took a deep, shaky breath. "Don't worry. I'll just go on my trip right away. That way I'll be gone, all this can settle down, and by the time I get back, hopefully everything will be back to normal."

"Trip? Seriously? You think I'm going to give you a reward after you do this to me?"

My heart was being ripped out. "You're taking the trip away from me?" I yelled. "Mother, you promised! That trip was the only thing I had left."

I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. I'd lost my job, spent my travel money, and now all my dirty laundry, every embarrassing secret I had, was literally in the news, and I knew after Jake saw the article, he'd be history too. How in the hell could I have possibly gotten my life so messed up so fast?

I threw the phone down and ran to my room, slamming the door behind me.

I could hear Jake and Mattie calling my name, but I couldn't face them right now. Especially Jake.

There were several knocks at the door over the following few minutes, but finally they stopped. I heard the front door close twice, a few minutes apart, so I knew they were both gone. I spent the rest of the day in bed crying and trying to ignore the constant wail of the phone.

About mid afternoon, I realized that I was even worse off than I thought I was. I was now roommate-less and would have to cover the rent by myself. Without a job. With hardly any savings left.

Eventually the phone started to ring less and night finally fell. Exhausted from crying and weak from not eating, I drifted into a restless sleep.

# # #

I woke up to the sound of the phone. Of course. All of yesterday's humiliations came flooding back in an instant. I groaned and crawled back under my covers, burying my head under my pillow. But a few minutes later I decided it couldn't possibly get any worse, plus my back was starting to hurt from lying there so long, so I crawled out of bed.

The apartment was quiet. Really quiet. No Calla. I was completely alone. I had never been so alone. A quick peek outside told me I was wrong though. Several reporters were still downstairs awaiting my first attempt at leaving the building.

I may have been able to finally crawl out of bed, but I was sure I wouldn't be stepping foot outside my apartment anytime soon. There was a note on the table along with the newspaper containing my ultimate humiliation.

Josie,

I'm so sorry about all this. Please call me when you're feeling better. I left the newspaper so that you know what you're dealing with. I've also left some matches in the likely event that you'd like to burn it.

Hugs,

Mattie

I smiled for the first time in twenty-four hours. Thank goodness for Mattie. Especially now that the person who I _thought_ had been my best friend, was suddenly out of my life. I shoved the newspaper away.

Ugh. I need a shower, I thought. I headed back down the hall, passing Calla's closed door. It felt strange opening it.

It's your apartment, you live here by yourself now, I said to myself. I turned the knob and poked the door. It started to open slowly.

The room was completely empty. All that was left were little marks in the carpet indicating where her bed and dresser once were.

I didn't know when she had moved out. With all the distractions I hadn't even noticed. God, I really was a bad friend. Though even I, in my state of self-loathing, still couldn't understand how she could have betrayed me like that.

I took a tentative step into the room. Weird. She'd even cleaned. I couldn't help but wonder why someone with such hatred for me would bother worrying about making the room spotless.

Something caught my eye on the windowsill. I walked over and picked up the pink sheet of paper.

_I'm really sorry. They paid me a lot of money,_ was all it said.

Money. All this for money.

I guess I'm not all that different, I thought. I did agree to be in the wedding thing just to get a trip out of it. Oh God, what a disaster these last few months had ended up being. How ironic.

I crumpled the paper and threw it in the trash. It felt good, like I was letting some of the hate go. I jumped in the shower, determined to wash even more of it off.

Memories of what I had written in the diary kept coming back to me. Every time I thought of something else, that stomach lurching feeling came back. How was I ever supposed to find a job now that everyone in the city had seen that article?

Somehow I knew my fifteen minutes of fame were not quite up.

I tried to shake it off. There was nothing I could do about it now except try and pick up the pieces. I finished my shower and went to the newspaper article. I burned it without reading it. I didn't need to make myself feel any worse.

The light on my answering machine was blinking. What a shocker. I hit the playback button. "You have twenty-four new messages", the recorded voice said.

I sighed and sat down.

Most of the messages were from friends that had seen the article and wanted to tell me that it wasn't so bad. Everyone has embarrassing moments. But I knew my moments were monumental compared to most people. They all sounded so solemn, so pitying.

"Okay, perspective," I said out loud to myself. "It's not like anyone has died or anything."

I had more important things to worry about than the world knowing I once had gas. I mean seriously, these things do happen to everybody, it's just that no one talks about it.

Still, I wondered if I should move out of the city.

There were only two messages I'd been hoping for. The first, from Jake that said he still liked me, though I knew that wasn't about to happen, especially after the way I had acted yesterday, not even saying goodbye. I couldn't decide which was worse, Jake knowing about the article and reading all those things, or not knowing about the article and just thinking I was some sort of weird, emotional basket case.

The other message I'd been hoping for was my mother saying she'd changed her mind about the trip.

Neither was on the machine.

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Josephine," I said out loud. "Nothing is going to change unless you change it. First things first. Start looking for a job. No. Wait. First things first. You need to eat and get some caffeine into you."

Walking to the kitchen, I realized I was talking to myself. Something I had never done before.

"Don't worry it's just the stress talking. You're not going crazy." But I wasn't really convincing, especially since I was still talking out loud.

I grabbed some cereal, put on the coffee and sat down with my laptop to check on the job listings.

I wrote down a few possibles. Then something caught my eye.

Jobs Overseas. Want to get away from it all? We help you find a permanent or temporary position in your field overseas.

I wasted no time in dialing the number. They told me to fill out the online application and the lady explained that it was usually a month or two on the waiting list and then you were placed. It could be sooner, she'd said, as long as you're not too picky about where you want to go. At that moment, I think I would have been happy with Siberia. There was further instruction to get my affairs in order, which I didn't really like the sound of, but apparently they just meant to get a passport and be ready with all the necessary paperwork.

Hmm. In your face mother, I thought.

It wasn't going to be the same, of course. Work was certainly different than the vacation I'd had in mind, but I would get my trip nonetheless.

~ 20 ~

Mattie came over after work. "Hey girl, how you holdin' up?" he asked.

"Actually, I didn't have too bad of a day," I said.

The look on his face told me he was in utter shock. "Really?"

"Yeah, I filled out an application to get on a waiting list for jobs overseas."

"Good for you," he said. "Stick it to your mother. She'll be sorry when you're gone. And actually, I'll be sorry too. Wait. How long are you planning on going for?"

"I don't know," I said. "When a job comes up, they phone and give me all the details. Then decide whether I want it or not. The beauty of it is that they might be able to find something in my field, so I could be getting great experience while this paparazzi mess dies down."

"How is it that I didn't know you could do that?"

"I didn't either until I saw the ad in the newspaper. The only crappy thing is I'm going to have to find a roommate I can trust to take care of the place while I'm gone. If I even get a job, that is."

"I wish I could help, but my lease is iron clad. I'm not going anywhere for at least another eight months."

I made a pouty face.

"Don't worry," he said. "This is a great apartment, you'll find someone."

I sighed. "Look at what happened with Calla though. And she's been my friend forever. If I couldn't trust her, how am I supposed to find a stranger I can trust?"

"It's okay Josie," Mattie said. "You can still trust your instincts. The Calla thing was just one little incident. She's obviously got bigger problems than you or I ever knew about."

I nodded, but I wasn't convinced. I'd grown up with Calla. She was my best friend for years. In high school she'd had a lot of emotional problems, but I thought she'd left all that behind her.

"Now for the real reason I'm here," Mattie said. "I am making it my mission to get you out of this house. Now I know you're a little strapped for cash right now, so it will be my treat. We can go to a movie or something."

"I am not leaving this house," I said.

"Oh yes you are."

"Mattie! There are still reporters camped out outside my door!"

"So? That didn't bother you before."

"Um. The whole world didn't know every embarrassing moment of my life before," I reminded him.

"Oh come on," he said. "It's not that bad. In fact, some of the stars they interviewed on 'Entertainment News' said you were great! They loved that you were so very... human. And they thought that you were absolutely hilarious."

My eyes widened. "They did a story about the article on TV!"

"Um, yes," Mattie said. "But really, I'm telling you. It was very favorable. Someone said they should turn your diary into a book. They were dying to hear more."

"Oh God," I said flopping down on the couch.

"Seriously Josie, they all thought Calla was a bitch and you were completely entertaining. I think it's going to be good for you to get out in public and show them that something like this isn't going to hold you back. You are a fabulous woman who will not apologize for farting."

I broke out laughing. "Oh my God Mattie, I am way too nervous." I groaned. "How am I going to pretend to be all confident and not let on that my entire life has just fallen apart?"

"That's what I'm here for girl," Mattie said. "Don't you remember how good you felt the other times when I got you all dressed up?"

"I guess."

"Well, that's what we're going to do. You'll kill them with your fabulousness."

"I guess," I said, sighing.

"Good. Now let's go find you something to wear." He got up and started towards the hallway.

"And Mattie," I said.

He turned back to me.

"That's not all you're here for you know."

He smiled and nodded once. "I know."

# # #

I took several deep breaths as I held on to the stair handle for dear life. Even though Mattie made me look just as good as he promised he would, I was still scared to my very soul over all the things that people must be thinking about me.

"Don't worry," Mattie said and pried my fingers off the rail. "You look great. The cameras will love you."

"I don't know Mattie..."

"Shush," he interrupted. "Just fake it. Pretend like you're Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. You know that scene where Richard Gere keeps telling her she's very tall. Just smile and look fabulous. That's all you have to do. Smile and look fabulous."

"Okay," I said, but my voice was very quiet.

"You can do this," Mattie said.

"I can do this," I said. My voice was starting to get a little stronger.

"You can do this!"

"I can do this," I said, firmly this time.

Mattie grabbed me and we walked arm and arm out the door. Our pace was fast. Determined. I put my sunglasses on and smiled at the cameras. I was surprised that there were so many, about five or six still hanging around.

Boy, this city must be hard up for news, I thought.

"Josie, over here!" one photographer called.

I turned directly to him and flashed my best smile. Mattie and I continued down the street where he hailed a cab.

"Oh my God," I said once we were safely inside the cab. "That was so scary."

"You did great!"

"I'm so glad we get to go hide in a dark movie theatre for a while," I said.

"That's exactly why I suggested it, honey."

I had to admit, it felt good to be out. I hadn't really been holed up that long, but I was still beginning to feel a little claustrophobic in my apartment.

We chose to see a good old romantic comedy, which is my favorite genre, and Mattie's. It was quite fitting with what was going on in my life too, the heroine getting caught in a couple of embarrassing situations.

"Well, that made me feel better," I said, as Mattie and I walked out of the movie. "She was almost as much of a social moron as I am."

"Absolutely. See, it's not so bad," he said. "I'm actually kind of surprised that you made the front page of the entertainment section."

"Hey now, I'm newsworthy aren't I?" I said and lightly pushed him.

He raised one eyebrow. "I don't know about that," he said.

I pushed him harder this time.

"Hey, watch it," he yelled as he regained his balance. He looked around and sighed. "Where are the cameras when you need them? I could make millions with a picture of you assaulting me."

"Oh shush. Don't even joke about that. You're the only friend I can trust right now."

"I know. Sorry. But you're the one who pushed me," he whined. "Ooh, ooh. There's a coffee shop! I could really use a latte."

I had to smile at the way Mattie could flip the subject in the blink of an eye.

"Yeah, I could sit for a while."

The waitress came to take our orders.

"Peppermint Mocha Latte, please," Mattie said.

"I'll just have a Chai tea."

The waitress looked at me and squinted.

Oh shit, I thought. What's wrong? Am I splotchy again?

"Aren't you that Bridesmaid girl," the waitress finally said.

I cleared my throat. "Um, yeah." I could feel the heat rising up my neck. Great. Now I'm splotchy.

"I thought so," she said, a huge smile forming on her face. "I read your diary article yesterday. You are so funny!" She looked up as if trying to remember. "Oh God, that farting story. What a hoot. Every time I think about it, I start giggling all over again."

"Um. Thanks?" I said.

She left to get our drinks.

"See, what did I tell you?" Mattie said. "People love it."

The girl at the table next to us was craning her neck to hear our conversation.

I motioned to Mattie to be quiet and pointed to the girl. She turned around and caught me pointing.

"Oh, sorry," she said looking embarrassed. "I didn't mean to listen in on your conversation, but I just wanted to say that what you have done is just amazing."

"What I've done?" I asked.

"Yes. It was so brave what you did." She obviously thought I'd gotten the diary published myself. "To tell the world all the things that most people would be ashamed of. To show everybody that you are totally normal, and that bad things happen to you, and yet you can still date a movie star! It's just so inspiring. I actually started my own diary of all my embarrassing stuff this morning."

"Really?" I said.

"I just wanted to thank you so much," she finished.

"You're welcome?"

The girl turned back around in her seat and I leaned back in mine.

"Okay, can I just say, wow?" Mattie said.

"I can't believe it," I said. "I thought the whole world would like, hate me or something."

"Of course not. Maybe Calla even did you a favor."

The smile faded off my face. "I wouldn't quite go that far," I said. "I still haven't heard a peep from Jake."

"You will. He's a movie star for God's sake. I'm sure he's just a little bit busy."

I shrugged.

The waitress returned with our drinks. "It's on me," she said. "Anyone who can make my day like you did yesterday deserves a little something in return."

I just stared at her.

"Thank you," Mattie said for me since I couldn't find the words.

"Uh, yeah. Thank you."

She walked away giggling a little and shaking her head. "Squeaking farts. Priceless," she said to no one in particular.

Mattie held up his latte. "To my friend and new toast of the city, Josephine McMaster."

"And to you, my dearest friend, for giving me the kick in the ass I needed to get my sorry butt out of my apartment and into the real world. Without you, I'd still be wallowing instead of being praised by these lovely people," I said.

We touched our paper cups together in a mock toast.

Back at my apartment, I had a message on my machine from the job placement company.

"Miss McMaster, could you please give me a call as soon as you can, a position just opened up that you might be uniquely qualified for," it said.

"Wow, that was fast," Mattie said.

"Oh man, I'm not ready yet. I don't have my paperwork ready, and what about the apartment?"

"You don't have to take it if you don't want to. But at least call and see what it is," Mattie said.

I picked up the phone and dialed the number.

"Yes, Miss McMaster," the lady said. I could hear her shuffling papers in the background. "Here we are. Yes, we thought that this position might be just the thing for you. I have to admit, we don't get a lot of writers." She cleared her throat, "The client is in England."

Hmm. England, I thought. It's not Rome, but I supposed it would do. I could probably sneak away to Italy or Greece on a long weekend or something.

"This client for now wishes to remain anonymous. All I can tell you is that it is a very famous person and they have been contracted for an autobiography. The job is a ghostwriter for the book."

"Wow, a book. I've never done a whole book before," I said.

"That's fine. The celebrity in question has taken a look at your work and has approved you. And with your recent experience with the press, you are actually uniquely qualified to write about that sort of experience."

"Wow, who'd have thought that would end up being a qualification?"

"Now of course you will not be able to be seen at all with the celebrity. You will have to remain incognito at all times, especially considering your own celebrity status, so that no scandals will surface. But other than in public, you will have full access to the celebrity."

"Wow, that sounds really interesting," I said. The prospect of doing a whole book scared me to death, but it also excited me. I was getting burned out doing all that boring text for business magazines and ad campaigns. This had to be more fun than that. "But, um, I don't have all my paperwork ready."

"Don't worry Miss McMaster, we will help you take care of all of that. We'll speed it through all the proper channels. Oh, and I forgot to mention that the job is expected to last three months and, let's see, let me just check the salary for you..." She shuffled some more papers and then mentioned a figure that equaled an entire year's salary at my old job.

"I accept," I said quickly. I hoped I didn't sound like I was too eager.

Mattie looked as though he was about to wet himself in anticipation of finding out what was going on.

"Wonderful. I'll send the paperwork to your home right away. Just return it to us overnight Fed Ex, and we'll be all set."

"Thank you so much," I said and hung up.

"What? What!" Mattie said, bouncing up and down a little.

"Holy crap Mattie, life a little dull these days?"

"Please, I've been living vicariously through you for months already. There's nothing going on in my life."

"What about Mr. Gary?" I asked raising one eyebrow.

He immediately broke eye contact and began fiddling with one of the rings on his fingers.

"Oh my God! Are you blushing? Mattie, I've never seen you blush before," I said and gasped. "You really like him, don't you?"

Mattie cleared his throat. "Maybe," he said in the quietest voice possible.

"Aw, my Mattie's in love," I teased him.

"Shut up."

"So, are you going to call him?"

Mattie shrugged. "I was thinking maybe he'd call me."

I gasped. "Mattie, you always make the first move! What's up?"

"I guess I might be a little..." He cleared his throat. "Nervous or something."

"Really? Why?"

"I don't know. I've never liked someone this much so soon before. I'm afraid he won't feel the same. I'm not sure I'm ready for it to be over."

"Mattie, it hasn't even begun yet. And besides, I was talking to him about you, and he totally seemed interested. Not to mention the whole love at first site googlie eyes thing you two have going on every time you're near each other."

"I thought that was just me."

"Nope. He was totally doing it too. Come on. Promise me you're going to call him."

"Okay, okay, I promise. But not with you sitting right there beside me. I must have privacy. Oh God, I feel like I'm going to barf."

"Oh yeah, you're totally in love."

"Being in love feels like you're going to barf?"

"Totally," I said.

"Okay, so if I'm going to call Gary, are you going to call Jake?"

"Good God, no!"

"What? Why not?"

"Well, first of all he's never given me his number."

"I'm sure that's just an oversight," Mattie said.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure. Plus, the whole Disaster Diary thing. I imagine he's already embarrassed that he went out with me. And he even has an easy out. He can just say it was the whole contest thing."

"Well if he does, then I hate him. And he's no good for you anyway," Mattie said. "Ooh, speaking of our favorite celeb and hopefully not our soon to be least favorite celeb, Entertainment News is coming on right away."

"Aw man, do we have to?" I said.

"You're not still worried about people's reaction to the paper are you? Even after meeting your fans earlier?"

"Uh, yeah. They were just regular people like you and me. I'm sure the celebrity world will look down their noses at me. I mean seriously, did you read some of that stuff I had in there?"

Mattie gave me a little smack on my hand and grabbed the remote off the coffee table.

"And today, reaction on the Bridesmaid who made front page entertainment news," the reporter said.

"Aw man, I'm the lead story on this too?"

"You are hot stuff," Mattie said.

The story was basically 'Entertainment News' asking every celebrity they came across what their thoughts were on 'The Bridesmaid Scandal.' And if they hadn't seen the paper, well 'Entertainment News' was quick to hand them a copy.

There were several shots of famous people howling with laughter. And then something strange happened. A couple of the starts admitted that similar things had once happened to them. Some of them said I was really funny, but it sounded like they meant it in a good way. There were a few more comments about being brave. They even showed a quick clip of Mattie and I getting into the taxi before the movie.

"Hey, look at that," Mattie said. "I'm on TV." He winked at me.

"And you look marvelous," I said. "Actually, I look marvelous too." It continued to amaze me how good of a stylist Mattie really was. He knew exactly what kind of outfit absolutely every situation needed. Even an 'I've just had the most humiliating thing in the world happen to me and I want to look like it doesn't bother me' situation.

"Well, not as marvelous as me," Mattie said with a smile.

I elbowed him.

The final part to the story was a camera very much in Jake's face. He was looking a little stunned.

"Jake, you've been seen out a few times with Bridesmaid Josie McMaster, and were even seen yesterday morning leaving her apartment. What is your take on the McMaster the Disaster scandal?"

"What?" He looked genuinely confused.

"Oh God, he doesn't know."

The reporter shoved a copy of the paper in his face.

"He does now," Mattie said.

"Shit," I whispered.

He glanced at the headline. "I'm sorry, I don't have time right now, I'm running late." He smiled at the camera and then he was off, paper still in his hand.

"Shit! He took it with him!" I yelled.

"He was bound to find out sometime," Mattie said.

"That did not look like a good reaction," I said. "He looked totally annoyed."

"Maybe he really was just in a hurry," Mattie said.

His cell phone started ringing. "Hello?" Suddenly Mattie started making flailing motions all over the place. Judging by his reaction, I guessed it must have been Gary on the other end. He rushed down the hall, apparently to get away from my prying ears.

~ 21 ~

"Okay, I talked to Gary, now you have to talk to Jake," Mattie said, coming back into the living room.

"What? Are you nuts? He called you. That totally doesn't count."

He gasped and put his hand on his hip. "It totally does so."

"And even if it did, how do you suppose I would talk to him anyway? Remember, I don't have his number."

"Email him."

I sighed. "Mattie, don't you think there's a reason that I don't have his number? He's had about a million chances to give it to me, and he hasn't."

"Email him," he said more urgently this time.

"Why? What's the difference? I'm leaving anyway."

"Oh please, he's Jake Hall. It doesn't matter where you live. He has the money to go where ever. Just email him."

I finally opened my laptop, hoping that I could somehow distract Mattie before I actually had to send the email. My mind was racing, trying to come up with something to get him thinking about something else. Then I saw it. jakehall@aol.com.

"It looks like he sent something to me."

"Open it!" Mattie yelled as frantically as if he'd said the word earthquake instead.

I looked at him. "Do you mind giving a girl a minute? Geez Mattie, I'm a little nervous here, you know."

"Sorry," he said and pretended to busy himself, shuffling things around on my table. But I knew the waiting was killing him.

I took a deep breath and clicked on the message.

Hey Josie,

The news guys gave me a copy of the paper. I am so, so sorry that all this has happened to you. I feel completely responsible. If it hadn't been for all this stupid Bridesmaid stuff, you'd still be happily at your job, and happily unknown to the general public.

But, I do think that your Diary stuff was really funny. Honestly, it made me like you even more. And I already liked you a lot.

Anyway, if you're up to it, please give me a call. I'd love to talk to you. But I'd understand if you don't want to, since I pretty much ruined your life.

Jake.

He left his phone number at the bottom of the email.

"Aw, see? He still loves you. He thinks it's his fault." I hadn't even realized that Mattie had been reading over my shoulder. "And look, there you go. His phone number."

I nodded. I couldn't quite believe Jake was blaming himself for the whole mess. I certainly didn't think it was his fault. My mother's? Maybe. Calla's? Maybe. Mine? Yeah, a definite maybe. But not Jake's. Definitely not Jake's.

I had to call him. "I don't think I've ever been this nervous in my life," I said.

"I know. I finally realize why people are so nervous to call people now. Now that I've found someone that actually matters to me."

I was nodding. "What if I make an ass of myself?"

"More than the Disaster Diary?" he asked.

I shoved him. Harder than I should have. I think there was some residual adrenaline flowing and I hadn't realized my own strength. He fell back, luckily onto the couch.

He gave me a look resembling a cross between amusement and anger.

"Oops, sorry," I said.

He just shook his head a little. "Would you please just call him already?" he finally said.

"Yeah, okay, okay. I'm calling."

I started dialing the number slowly. My heart started racing faster. I could almost hear the blood flowing through my ears. I took a deep breath and hit the final number. It started to ring.

Oh God, please don't pick up, I thought to myself. I really wanted to talk to him, but I didn't know if I was ready. But would I ever be ready?

"Hello?"

Crap.

"Um, hi. It's Josie."

"Oh thank God, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. Mattie made me get out of the house today, and it was okay."

"What happened? How did all that stuff get into the paper?"

"Calla."

"Your roommate?"

"Yeah."

"But why? Why would she do something like that?"

"I don't know," I said. "Mattie thinks she might have been jealous of me or something."

"Unbelievable," he said in almost a whisper.

"Yeah. And my mom's freaking out over the whole thing."

"Really? Why?"

"Oh she's very much into appearances and stuff. She's embarrassed I guess."

"I cannot tell you how sorry I am. I just really feel awful, like all of this is my fault."

"Are you in town?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Do you want to come over?"

"Yes," he said, sounding relieved. "I thought you'd never ask. I'll be right there."

I hung up the phone and turned to Mattie. "K. He's coming over."

"Yay," he said, doing a mini victory dance. "I am going to get out of your way then."

"You don't have to," I said.

"It's okay. I have to get ready for my big date anyway. I'm so nervous."

"You know you're fabulous Mattie, don't worry so much."

"Yeah, you should talk," he said and gave me a hug on the way out.

Jake arrived a few minutes later. I barely even had time to touch up my makeup.

I buzzed him up and cracked the door so he could just walk in.

He knocked lightly and yelled 'hello' as he entered.

"I'm in the kitchen," I yelled.

I'd decided that I could use some liquid courage. I was making some margaritas with the leftover margarita mix from the makeover night.

"Excellent, drinks," he said. He leaned down and kissed me on the cheek and stood close behind me.

I finished pouring the mix into two glasses and handed one to Jake. He leaned down and kissed me for real. "I was so worried about you," he said.

"I was pretty worried that you'd never want to speak to me again."

"Why?"

"Because of all that humiliation in the paper," I said, heading into the living room.

"That stuff was so cute," he said, following. "Not very many people would admit to things like that. But we're all human. Everybody does the same stuff. You were just brave enough to write it down."

"Yeah, in a diary, which I thought was personal and no one would ever see."

"But you know what? It actually ended up making you look good. You know, sympathetic or something. I don't think it had the result that Calla had intended."

"I don't think she really cared what happened to me after the story came out. She was doing it mostly for the money."

"Really? They paid her?"

"Yeah, and a lot I'm guessing."

"Well, I guess that just goes to show you how popular you are," he said and set his drink on the table.

I thought he was about to take the drink out of my hand, but the phone started to ring.

Damn it.

I gave Jake a 'sorry' look and grabbed the phone.

"Hey Jose," the voice said.

"Jennifer, hi. How are you?"

"Almost as bad as you judging by the paper yesterday," she said.

"Oh no, what happened?"

"Ugh. My stupid roommate told me she was moving out at the end of the month. I don't know what the hell I'm going to do. I can't afford this place by myself."

"Really? That's a strange coincidence," I said.

"What do you mean?"

"Guess who gave the paper my diary?"

"Someone gave it to them?" she said. "I've been trying to figure out how they got it."

"My roommate. They paid her for the story."

"No!"

"Yeah."

"So she's gone?"

"Yup, moved her stuff out before the story broke. Left me hangin' here with a year left on the lease."

"What a bitch."

"Mm hmm."

"I guess I'm lucky, At least I don't have a lease on this place."

"So why don't you come live here?"

"Really? Do you think you could handle me?"

"Well let's see. Are you going to go public with any past or future diaries of mine?"

"Um, no."

"Then I think I can handle you. Besides, I don't know how much I'm going to be around for the next few months anyway. But don't worry. I'll still make sure the rent is paid on time."

"Oh man Josie, you are such a life saver."

"No, you are. Seriously. Call me tomorrow. We can get together and I'll give you the keys and stuff."

"Cool, and thanks."

"Thank you. You've saved me a lot of worrying."

We hung up and immediately Jake was grilling me. "What do you mean you aren't going to be around?"

"Oh, right. I haven't had a chance to tell you," I said.

He was looking a little worried.

"I'm going overseas for a while for this new job I've been offered."

"How long?"

"They're thinking around three months," I said.

He was nodding and looking through me, not at me. "I guess I could squeeze in a couple of trips to Europe," he said.

"What? Really? You'd want to visit?"

"Of course I would, Josie. I really think we could have something together. I know you might think this is all going a little fast, but I wasn't joking when I said I was ready to settle down. I'm really am serious about being with you."

I sat there staring at him. I didn't have a clue what to say, so I settled on "Wow."

He smiled and crawled up next to me on the couch. We stayed there and talked for hours. It felt amazingly comfortable and natural. And as the night wore on, the romantic evening made its way into the bedroom.

# # #

The next day I went for coffee with Jennifer. She was already waiting for me when I arrived.

"Here, I got you a Pumpkin Latte," she said, handing me the cup.

"Ooh, thanks," I said. "Aren't we sitting inside?"

"I thought we could take a walk through the park since it's such a nice day."

"Good idea," I said, taking a sip. "Ooh. I've never had one of these before. They're fantastic."

She nodded. We started walking toward the park.

"So, how are things going with you and Jake?"

"Unbelievable. We spent the night together last night and he told me that he was really serious about our relationship."

"Whoa, that is something," she said. "Most guys would rather squirt lemon juice in their eye than to admit something like that."

"I know. It's weird right?"

"But awesome."

"I could hardly believe it, even as I saw the words coming out of his mouth. I'm still a bit in shock, I think."

"Come on Josie, you're great. Why wouldn't someone want to be with you for the long haul?"

I shrugged. "I know. And I don't mean to put myself down or anything, but seriously, it's Jake Hall. Cazillionaire movie star. Half the female population on the planet has a crush on him. And he's going to be my boyfriend? It's all just so surreal."

Jennifer let out a giggle. "You know, I know exactly what you mean." She'd said it with a hint of mischief. Like there was something she wanted to tell me.

"Wait a minute, what's going on?" I asked.

"Oh nothing," she said, breaking out into a huge smile that told me that whatever she was about to say was the opposite of nothing. "Except that I've gone out a couple times with Dave Miller since the wedding."

My eyes grew wide. "Oh my God! And you're just telling me this now?"

"I know, I'm sorry. It's just that you've had all this stuff going on in your life. I wasn't sure what was going on with you and Jake, and I didn't want to rub your nose in it."

I stopped walking. "Don't worry about me, I always bounce back," I said. "I never want to be so down that my friends can't tell me the amazing stuff that's going on in their lives."

"Good to know," she said and smiled. "See how great you are? Jake Hall is lucky to have you."

"And Dave Miller is lucky to have you."

We tapped our coffee cups together in a mini toast to ourselves.

"Oh, I almost forgot," I said digging into my pocket. "Here are your keys. Feel free to start moving in anytime."

"Ah, awesome, thanks. It will be nice to finally have a roommate who isn't a slob and has some ambition."

"Speaking of ambition," I said. "That's the other thing I wanted to tell you. I'm going to be away for a few months."

"Yeah, you mentioned something about not being around," Jennifer said. "What's up?"

"Well, you know how I got fired from my job."

"Right."

"Well I started looking into what my options were. I found this place that does job placements overseas."

"Cool, you're going to work overseas?"

I nodded. "England."

"Very cool. I should look into something like that," she said. "So what's the job?"

"That's the best part. I'm ghostwriting an autobiography for someone famous."

"No way. Who?"

"I don't actually know yet. I assume they'll give me all that information in the package they're sending me."

"Oh man, I'd be dying to find out. But wait a minute, doesn't that mean you're going to be away from Jake."

I sighed. "Yeah, it does. And I'm not looking forward to that. But he said he would fly over and visit me."

"He really is serious about you," she said and nudged me.

"You know what really sucks though?" Jen said.

"What?"

"That Dave is going away too. He's filming overseas. I think he's going to be in the UK too."

"That does suck," I said. "Hey, maybe you could come over and visit him, and then you can visit me too!"

"Oh sure, if I had enormous amounts of money to throw around," she said.

"Hey, maybe you can catch a ride with Jake or something. I wonder if he'll be flying commercially or on a private jet."

"With the amount of money he has, I'm thinking private."

"Yeah."

"So, did you ever think you'd be dating a millionaire?" she asked.

"No, did you."

"Uh, not in a million years."

~ EPILOGUE ~

The package containing all the information and contracts for my overseas work arrived the next day. I ripped into it with the anticipation of a five-year-old on Christmas morning. Everything I could have ever wanted to know about my job was detailed in the information, except, of course, who the book was actually going to be about. But there was a sealed envelope that said EXTREMEMLY CONFIDENTIAL. DO NOT OPEN UNTIL YOU LEAVE US SOIL.

The package went on to explain that due to my minor celebrity status here in the US, and the press that had been known to follow me around, it was too much of a security risk to tell me before I left.

# # #

Somehow Jennifer found the time to move into the apartment and plan a surprise Bon Voyage party for me the night before I left for Europe. She rented a small back room at a little restaurant near our apartment.

Everyone even yelled surprise when they dragged me in.

All my favorite people were there, including Mattie and Jennifer and Jake. There were, however, a couple of people who were very noticeably missing. Calla, of course, and my mother, whom I was told was invited, but declined. She still hadn't talked to me since the newspaper article had come out, and only knew that I was leaving because Jennifer had phoned to invite her to the party.

The wine flowed and the food was to die for.

"Hey," Jake said walking up to me. "I didn't think I'd get a moment alone with you, with all these people around. You're quite the popular gal."

"Yes, don't you know I'm famous now?" I leaned up and gave him a kiss.

"Are you sure you want to jet off to England without even a thought as to what your boyfriend thinks?" he said with a wink.

"Oh, my boyfriend, hey? Is that what you're calling yourself now?" I asked. "Well, you'd better be careful about hooking up with me. In my life, the paparazzi can be brutal."

"Ah yes, the paparazzi. That really must be a nuisance for you," he teased.

"Hello lovebirds," Jennifer said, coming up to us.

"Hey Jen. Thanks so much for doing all this. I can't believe you had the time. You're the only person I know who can move their entire apartment and plan a party in three days."

"Eh, it was nothin'," she said shrugging it off. "What's a little lost sleep between friends? Besides, Mattie helped a lot."

"You can always count on Mattie."

I looked around at the guests. She had thought of everyone. Except I noticed that Dave was missing.

"Jennifer! Why didn't you bring Dave?"

"I wanted to, but he flew out last night."

"Oh, that's where you were," I said. "I thought I heard you come in awfully late."

"Well, you two aren't the only ones who need to get in their cuddle time. We ordered in, if you know what I mean."

Jake and I smiled.

"And then I drove him to the airport."

"Aw, and you wasted time planning all this for me?"

"Planning a party is never time wasted," she said. "Especially if alcohol is involved. Where is that waiter anyway?" she asked, walking away to find a little liquid comfort.

"So, how long do you think we should stick around before I can take you home and ravage you for hours? It's going to feel like a long time before I see you again."

"It's only going to be a month Jake," I said.

"I know, but now that I've found you, I don't want to let you go," he said.

"You are the sweetest boyfriend ever," I said.

"Yes! You finally said it. I was wondering if you were ever going to come around to the idea of me being your boyfriend."

"It's just really weird, you know."

"Why?"

"Well, because you're famous for one," I said.

"So? I'm only human."

"I guess. But it's hard to switch you over in my head from movie star to boyfriend."

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it." He pulled me in close.

I liked the way that sounded, that I'd get used to it. I wondered if I ever really would. I couldn't imagine the paparazzi all of the time. And if I were going to continue dating Jake, I'd have to get used to it.

"I guess I'll have to," I said.

Jake laughed. "You don't sound all that excited about it."

"Well, would the paparazzi be your favorite thing in the world if you were me right now?"

"I guess you have a point there," he said. "I have to say, just one more time, that I am really sorry for all this."

"Jake, it's not your fault. You have to stop apologizing."

"I know. But the worst part is that it's probably not over for you. And that is definitely my fault."

"I'm a big girl. At least I know what to expect now."

After the party Jake took me home. We spent the entire night lying in each other's arms. I was already packed, so I didn't have that to worry about, but I drifted in and out of sleep anyway. I was completely excited, and I couldn't stop my mind from moving at warp speed. But I was also worried about what I would encounter in Europe, not to mention wondering if Jake would still feel the same about me after a month apart. Then I was thinking about my mother, wondering if she would ever speak to me again, and I honestly couldn't figure out if that would be a good thing or a bad thing.

When the alarm went off in the morning, I was still tired and felt like I had grown several new wrinkles overnight with all the worrying and stressing.

"Good morning," Jake said, rolling over onto his stomach. The blankets slid away from the top half of his body and I spent more time than I should have admiring the way he looked, naked in my bed.

"So, um, don't you have to like, jet off to Europe or something," he finally said.

"Yeah, I just wanted to remember you like this."

"I'll see you in a month and I can pretty much guarantee you're going to be seeing me like this again."

I let out a little sigh and reluctantly dragged my butt out of bed and into the shower.

Jake drove me to the airport with a couple of paparazzi cars tailing behind his sports car.

"This aught to give them something to talk about for a while," Jake said. "Taking you to the airport after spending the night. Just imagine what scenarios they're going to come up with."

I rolled my eyes. "Probably something about me leaving you to go hook up with some European boy toy."

"Wow, you came up with that one pretty quick," he said, smiling.

"Well, you know, it's been on my mind. I'm sure I'm going to find someone much better than one of the top movie stars in the world, you know, because I think I should date at least three famous gazillionaires in my lifetime."

"Okay, stop it. You're starting to scare me."

I laughed.

"Well, you are going to Europe to spend a whole bunch of time with someone famous," he reminded me.

"It's probably a woman, or some old man or something. I'm sure it's going to be horribly boring."

"I can't believe they still haven't told you who it is."

"Well, I do have this top secret envelope that I assume has that information, but I'm not allowed to open it until I leave the states."

His eyes grew wide. "You do? And you haven't opened it? I would never be able to stop myself from ripping into it."

"I know. I am so tempted. But then I get worried that I'll get fired from the job or something," I said shrugging. "It'll only be another couple hours and then I'll know."

"Oh sure, you'll know, but I'll be stuck here waiting and wondering."

"I'm sure you'll survive."

We pulled up to the airport and parked. Jake came in with me.

"You don't have to wait, you know," I said.

"Are you kidding? Of course I'm going to wait with you. I want to spend as much time as possible with you before you go."

I smiled. "Thanks."

As we walked in, hand in hand, the paparazzi cars pulled up and the photographers were fighting to get to us as fast as they could. We continued to walk, pretending not to notice them, although it was a little more difficult once the flashes started.

Finally, Jake smiled and gave the cameras a little wave. I took his cue and smiled along. A few of Jake's fans came running up, three teenaged girls and one super cute little old lady wanting an autograph for her granddaughter. The three girls even knew who I was and, I'm sure just out of courtesy, they asked for my autograph too.

Several minutes later, I cleared customs and Jake was free to go, since he wasn't allowed past security. We tried not to, but there was absolutely no privacy, so we gave the press a little something to run in tomorrow's paper when Jake kissed me goodbye.

"See you in a month," he said as he walked away, his hand lingering on mine for a few seconds.

I nodded to him. I was surprised that I had to fight back a tear or two.

I continued past security and off to the waiting area.

The waiting proved to be a lot more difficult that I had expected. The corner of the confidential envelope was peeking out, just a little, from my bag. I tried not to think about it. I got up for a coffee. I took a trip to the bathroom. I chatted a little with the lady sitting next to me. After what seemed like an eternity, they finally called my flight number.

I jumped up, first in line, and I headed down the narrow hall to board my plane, the envelope clutched tightly in my hand.

Check out more of Josie's misadventures in the next installments of the McMaster the Disaster series, available now!

### Gamble on Engagement

Book 2 in the McMaster the Disaster series, complete with all new Disaster Diary entries.

Josie McMaster is on the move to London for a top-secret stint as a ghost-biographer for a high profile celebrity. It's her dream job; she's got a beautiful place to stay in the English countryside, full access to the celebrity, and three months to complete the best ghostwritten autobiography anyone has ever seen.

In true McMaster the Disaster fashion, Josie tumbles headfirst into scandal, apparently thought of as more than just an average ghostwriter in the eyes of this new celebrity. Not to mention she has never written a biography, but... how hard could it really be?

Of course, the paparazzi is not helping matters, constantly publicizing the 'when will Jake Hall pop the question' betting pool, which is completely ridiculous considering she and Jake have only been dating a short while...

... or is it?

The Wedding Wager

Book 3 in the McMaster the Disaster series.

Josie's back and she's getting married!

Except, how is she supposed to plan a wedding when her mother and her best friend Mattie both think they're the designated wedding planner, and none of their ideas are remotely similar? Mom wants super-traditional and Mattie wants... well, the complete opposite.

And that's not all Josie has to deal with. The gossip hounds are as invasive as ever; setting up polls on everything from what shoes she'll wear to when the divorce will be! Can't a girl at least get married first?

But the marriage is threatened when the Disaster Diary provides Josie with an opportunity of a lifetime and the real question becomes: with the stakes so high, is Josie willing to risk it all and take a chance on herself?

~ Contemporary Romance ~

Sugar Rush

Dulcie Carter has been running her family's homemade sweet shop, Candy Land Confections, on her own since her mom passed away. But business is slow and rent is high, so Dulcie knows if she wants to keep her mom's dream alive, she'll need a miracle. The annual Assembly of Chocolatiers competition might be just the thing, if she can bring herself to try creating something new for the first time in a long time.

Then she meets Nick, a molten-hot guy with a sexy smirk and an attraction stronger than any sugar rush, whose family also happens to own the big-box candy shop in town—her strongest competition for first prize. Nick's got his own reasons for needing the win, but then being around Dulcie is proving addictive.

As their competition heats up, so do the sparks between them. Can they keep their sights on winning, when love might be the sweetest prize of all?

Payback's a Witch

Nelle Peterson has finally found Mr. Right. He's handsome, smart, and successful. In fact, she's amazed he's still available.

But shortly after her new relationship begins, things start to go wrong. Really wrong. Nelle doesn't really believe in fate, or fairy tales, or magic, but when her boyfriend lets it slip that his ex used to be really into witchcraft, it all starts to fall into place.

Will Nelle be able to get past her logical ways and protect herself? Can she keep her boyfriend from falling back under the ex's spell? And now that it's Nelle's turn to learn the ways of witchcraft, what will happen when she tries to conjure up a little revenge of her own?

~ Rachel Astor Historicals ~

Bootlegacy

Good girl Sadie McKay is bored with her monotonous life. One night, she and her best friend set out to find some excitement, and it only takes a taste of the forbidden speakeasy for Sadie to fall head over heels. Of course, spotting the mystery man with his haunting good looks, all decked out in his three-piece suit and fedora, doesn't hurt either. After a little of the joint's famous liquid courage, she works up the nerve to approach him, or, you know, run smack dab into him due to a little self-inflicted clumsiness.

What Sadie doesn't know is that the infamous gangsters of Chicago have moved in to her sleepy town, and she finds out too late, after she's already smitten (not to mention trapped in a hidden underground tunnel), that her perfect Frankie is one of the wise guys. She soon finds herself immersed in the secrets and betrayal of organized crime, and when the bullets start flying, the excitement she was hoping to find, suddenly becomes more dangerous than she could have imagined.

Welcome to the world of the Bootlegacy, where innocence meets the danger, intrigue and excess of 1920s organized crime.

Piratesses

Look out boys, it's time for the ladies to hit the high seas!

Louisa has happy life. She never resented having to care for her younger siblings after her mother's death. Until, that is, her father tells her it's time to strike out on her own. Unfortunately, that can mean only one thing... find a husband. But that's not quite Louisa's style. She knows she doesn't need a man for survival any more than she needs one to tell her what to do. So with the help a few girlfriends—who are just as fed up with their place in society—and a head full of adventure tales, Louisa concocts a new life for herself. Who says the men get to have all the fun? Surely the girls can pillage and plunder with the best of them.

They'll soon realize it might be a little harder than they imagined. Especially once they discover they're not alone. No, they've chosen the one ship that has a stowaway, and not just any stowaway either. Genevieve is the daughter of the wealthy ship owner, who is hiding her own dark secrets. But there might be some worth in the spoiled rich girl after all. As it turns out, Genevieve is a genius inventor and master of weapons. Very handy skills indeed, for a crew that might soon be under attack.

