There are normal bosses, there are difficult
bosses, and then there are impossible bosses.
Literally impossible — because sometimes
game designers include fights for story purposes
that you simply aren't intended to beat ever.
It's incredibly annoying, but it's a fact
that there are some video game bosses nobody
can beat.
Bowser
You're probably thinking right now, "Hey,
Mario beats Bowser.
For over 30 years now, that's just how it
goes."
Ah, but the game Paper Mario doesn't play
by the regular Mario rules.
When Bowser crashes a party at Princess Peach's
palace, Mario swings into action to take care
of the Koopa King, just like he always does.
Except this time, Bowser possesses the Star
Rod, which makes him invincible no matter
what the player does.
The rest of the game is spent collecting power-ups
for the inevitable rematch at the end — which
you can actually win.
Zeus
Kratos isn't usually compared to Mario, but
just like in Paper Mario, God of War 2 begins
with a bogus boss fight designed as a plot
tease, setting up the game's final confrontation.
At the start of the game, Kratos is a god
himself, having replaced Ares in the first
God of War game.
But after Zeus forces Kratos to give up those
godly powers in order to defeat the Colossus
of Rhodes, he demands Kratos to bend the knee
and pledge his allegiance.
Naturally, Kratos refuses, starting an extremely
short boss fight the player can't win.
The rest of the game is spent building your
power back up to finally take down Zeus at
the end, a feat much more satisfying after
the butt kicking you receive at the beginning.
Calo Nord
Like other BioWare role playing games, Star
Wars: Knights of the Old Republic is all about
choices.
But no matter what you do, there's one path
you can't really choose: killing Calo Nord
on Taris.
Oh, sure, you can try.
After watching Nord dispatch a few members
of the Black Vulkars in Javyar's Cantina,
you're more than welcome to challenge him
to a fight.
Not only does Nord have a weapon that'll end
you in one hit, but he's also totally invulnerable.
That's because he still has plot immunity
— later on in the game, you meet him again
after he's played his part, and then you can
take all the revenge you want.
Kain
More than almost any other game series, Final
Fantasy titles tend to use their gameplay
systems as storytelling tools, and Final Fantasy
4 is the weirdest and most creative in this
regard.
For example, Tellah is an old man, so he loses
stat points as he levels up instead of gaining
them.
That kind of thinking extends to Kain, who
starts off as a member of your party.
After vanishing for a while, he comes back
as an enemy, and in order to show you just
how much stronger he's gotten, Final Fantasy
4 forces you to get your butt kicked by his
foot.
Thanks a lot, game!
Seath the Scaleless
Even by Dark Souls standards, Seath the Scaleless
is unusually sadistic.
See, whenever Dark Souls players die, they
lose souls, which is the game's currency,
and some of their humanity, which provides
a stat boost.
If they want to recover what they lost, players
need to fight their way back to their corpses
without dying again.
And yet, to defeat Seath the Scaleless, you
have to die first.
When you confront Seath the first time, the
dragon is invincible.
Once he kills you, you respawn in a prison
cell.
From there, you'll be able to battle your
way to the Crystal Cave, where you'll be able
to put Seath down for good.
Hopefully, you won't die along the way — otherwise,
all those goodies you lost when Seath killed
you the first time will be lost for good.
Not cool, Dark Souls.
Not cool at all.
Vile
Mega Man X opens with a tutorial level that
acquaints players with Mega Man's futuristic
new home and his brand new abilities.
After mastering charging, blasting, and wall-jumping,
players enter their very first boss fight…and
lose pretty quickly.
That's when Vile stops to gloat.
Wrong choice.
An energy charge flies in from offscreen and
disables Vile, the electric guitars start
to play, and Mega Man's buddy Zero rushes
to the rescue, hair flowing in the wind.
Vile takes off — beaten, but not broken
— leaving little doubt who the hero is.
It might be Mega Man's game, but Zero is the
real star.
Gunther
The whole point of the cyberpunk action-RPG
Deus Ex is that, if you can try it in the
game, you can do it.
That's why the fight against Gunther is so
incredibly frustrating, because it violates
that basic rule of the game.
No matter what you do, there's only one possible
outcome: Gunther wins, and you surrender.
While clever players eventually discovered
a way to circumvent the fight entirely by
jumping over some barricades, the story won't
progress unless you give into Gunther's demands
and go where the game demands.
Boo.
Ridley
Classic Metroid nemesis Ridley is a mother-lovin'
dragon who leads a band of space pirates,
so he should be tough.
And when you face off against him in a space
station at the start of Super Metroid, Ridley
doesn't disappoint.
Unless, of course, you wanted to actually
win the fight.
That you can't do, because no matter how the
battle progresses, Ridley eventually hits
the station's self destruct button, forcing
you to drop everything and flee for your life.
Ridley gets away, and the rest of the game
is spent chasing him down to get a rematch.
Fortune
You don't beat Fortune at the start of Metal
Gear Solid 2.
You merely survive her.
See, it's impossible to shoot Fortune, because
every bullet misses her no matter how carefully
you aim.
On the other hand, she can definitely kill
you, so the only option is to duck and cover
until help arrives and frees you to play the
rest of the game.
Pyramid Head
The best horror villains can't be killed no
matter how hard the protagonist tries.
And Pyramid Head in Silent Hill 2 is one of
the best.
As protagonist James Sunderland, you can shoot
Pyramid Head, but he always recovers and keeps
coming for you.
When you finally escape at the end of the
game, it's not really because you beat Pyramid
Head, but rather because James finally forgives
himself, causing Pyramid Head to commit harakiri.
So next time you get stuck on a boss fight
you aren't allowed to win, just remember to
forgive yourself.
Because it's really not your fault, buddy.
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