Defeat my Defeat
my solitude and my aloofness;
You are dearer to me
than a thousand triumphs,
And sweeter to my heart
than all world-glory.
Hi! This is Nideesh Vasu
and I read writings and poetry from the
great saints and sages from across time
to help us introspect where we are at
in our lives at the moment
and I read writings and poetry from the
great saints and sages from across time
to help us introspect where we are at
in our lives at the moment
and to help us evolve and become
better students, better children, better parents,
better friends, better lovers, and better humans.
Welcome to a Stereo Tales presentation.
You're listening to Sages and the Madman with Nideesh Vasu.
Thank you for listening in to my podcast.
This week we continue reading
from Khalil Gibran’s work.
And in each episode we’ll also try to gather insights
into the experiences and struggles of Gibran’s life
that shaped his personality and inspired his work.
We have discussed about women
who influenced and facilitated Gibran
and his artistic ambitions.
His mother, who ensured he was getting education
and was the only family member
who was excused from earning- was supposedly
the first person who truly got him.
Gibran’s sister Marianna
who by the time Gibran was 20,
was the only surviving family member,
adored him, provided for him
and cared for him till the end.
However, Gibran’s story would not be complete
or rather I’d say, his story wouldn’t have
started, if not for Mary Haskell.
Their partnership is so unique,
lovely and unusual
that it would take us more than one
episode to cover the depth of it.
Gibran had returned from Beirut
and had decided that he would be
a writer as well as a painter.
In 1904, his friend/supporter, Holland Day
held an exhibition of Gibran’s drawings
and that is where Gibran barely 21 years old,
met Mary Haskell, almost ten years senior to him.
Mary was a schoolmistress and did not have a fortune.
Their friendship grew and
she was so impressed with his art
that, despite her limited means,
she became his champion and philanthropist.
In 1908, she offered to give Gibran
a stipend of 75$ a month
to go and study painting in Paris.
In a letter to a friend, Gibran says about Mary
“She is an angel who is ushering me
towards a splendid future
and paving for me the path
to intellectual and financial success.
The day will come when I shall be able to say,
‘I became an artist through Mary Haskell.’”
This was a huge turning point in Gibran’s life
as their friendship grew into something deeper
with their being apart.
They wrote beautiful and
soulful letters to each other.
In a letter to Mary, Gibran says
“I think of you today, beloved friend,
as I think of no other living person.
And as I think of you, life becomes
better and higher and much more beautiful.
I kiss your hand, dear Mary,
and in kissing your hand I bless myself.”
Gibran was besotted and enamored
with her kind and compassionate heart.
Over time, he saw Mary as a partner
who could understand his mind
with all its darkness and light and still care for it.
Gibran professed his love to Mary and
they were engaged when he got back from Paris.
But this was not a common love,
not a love that needs to be obtained or fulfilled.
As radical as it was in those times,
they chose to not marry but remain
in each other’s life significantly.
He moved to New York to establish himself,
and Mary continued to support him
through his most difficult failures.
More on their love in the next episode.
Today we’ll take a look at a poem
from Khalil Gibran’s ‘The Madman’ called ‘Defeat’.
Defeat, my Defeat,
my solitude and my aloofness;
You are dearer to me
 than a thousand triumphs,
And sweeter to my heart
 than all world-glory.
Defeat, my Defeat,
my self-knowledge and my defiance,
Through you I know
that I am yet young and swift of foot
And not to be trapped by withering laurels.
And in you I have found aloneness
And the joy of being shunned and scorned.
Defeat, my Defeat,
my shining sword and shield,
In your eyes I have read
That to be enthroned
 is to be enslaved,
And to be understood
 is to be leveled down,
And to be grasped is
 but to reach one's fullness
And like a ripe fruit
 to fall and be consumed.
Defeat, my Defeat,
my bold companion,
You shall hear my songs and
 my cries and my silences,
And none but you shall speak to me
of the beating of wings,
And urging of seas,
And of mountains that
 burn in the night,
And you alone shall climb
 my steep and rocky soul.
Defeat, my Defeat,
my deathless courage,
You and I shall laugh
 together with the storm,
And together we shall dig graves
 for all that die in us,
And we shall stand in the sun with a will,
And we shall be dangerous.
Gibran opens this poem personifying Defeat.
Here he makes a big statement about
 how we should approach Defeat.
By not calling ourselves defeated or failures,
he’s separated himself from Defeat.
His identity is not defeat.
And what a contrarian view on defeat!
He calls defeat dearer and sweeter
 than triumph and world glory.
Defeat has made him
self aware and defiant.
And because he keeps trying
again and again and doesn’t give up
- it makes him feel young and able.
Laurels satiate your ego and
 limit you from achieving greater feats.
Whereas defeat- sets you free
 from these limitations.
He finds that he’s shunned and scorned.
Being scorned fuels the urge to outperform
 and that is a joy greater than being enthroned.
This also gives him the
blessing of solitude and aloneness.
Just what he needs to grow spiritually.
He calls defeat his sword and shield.
A weapon and a protection
 to take on his challenge again.
He realizes that stature and understanding
 will enslave or decimate him.
Likening himself to a fruit
who would ripen and fall and be consumed,
thereby ending his journey!
He calls defeat a friend!
He speaks of the songs and cries and
silences that he will share with defeat.
And that they will speak about
 the beating of wings,
which probably refers to
the work that needs to be done
or the effort that needs to be made
as he is called by the
 urging of the seas,
which refers to the adventures
 that are yet to be had
or new frontiers to be discovered
 or new depths to be unraveled.
And the mountains
 that burn in the night
likely refer to the
 lofty goals and peaks
that shine before him...
goals yet to be accomplished
and burning and filling him with ambition,
 desire and motivation to keep going on.
He only lets defeat in,
deep within his soul.
Defeat is what helps him
go within and introspect.
He is forced to look within and
 this forces him to grow and evolve.
He becomes courageous.
He now does not fear defeat.
Defeat is his friend.
He mocks life’s storms
and he’s ready to be victorious
 over his own weaknesses and fears
and insecurities. They die within him
as he keeps going on.
He faces each challenge fearlessly,
 bare naked, strong willed.
Defeat has made him dangerous.
He's unstoppable.
What better motivation?
Who of us has not faced
defeat or feared defeat?
Can we also turn Defeat
 from Foe to Friend?
How do we connect with this poem?
How have we taken defeat each time?
As a child?
As a youth?
In the prime of our lives?
I’d love to hear your take on this poem and
 how you've connected with it in your life.
At such a time in the world,
its a poem that really shows us
how to deal with the curve balls
 life's throwing at us.
I hope that introspecting
on this could be a first step
to talking and dealing with your new friend.
Thank you for listening in
to this week’s episode.
Please try to take
 some time out in the quiet
just before you
go to sleep.
for yourself, loving yourself,
appreciating the good from the day
and the lessons you've learnt.
Please do send out a prayer of healing for the world
as the world tries to get back on its feet.
Pray for those in need of healing
and those at high risk.
See you next week and be safe.
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