 
# Until Now

## Until Novel Book 1

## Cristin Cooper

# Copyright

## Until Now

Copyright © 2014 by Cristin Cooper

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Cover Design: Cristin Cooper

Photo: Big Stock Photo

Editing: Bookpeddler Editing

Proofread: Nichole Strauss Insighteditingservices.com

  Created with Vellum

# Also by Cristin Cooper

**Always Series**

Love, Ryan

Love You, Always

Love Me

* * *

**Always Novella**

Safe Love novella

* * *

**Until Series**

Until Now

Until Here novella

Until Us

Until You novella

* * *

**Juliet Chronicles**

Juliet Chronicles Book One

Juliet Chronicles Book Two

Juliet Chronicles Book Three

# Contents

1. August 4:00 AM

2. May 1995

3. May 1995

4. August 4:00 AM

5. July 1995

6. July 4, 1995

7. August 6:00 AM

8. August 1995

9. August 1995

10. August 8:00 AM

11. November 1995

12. November 1995

13. August 10:00 AM

14. November 1995

15. March 1996

16. August 11:00 AM

17. May 1997

18. August 12:00 PM

19. August 1998

20. June 1999

21. August 1:00 PM

22. July 2000

23. July 2000

24. August 1:30 PM

25. August 2001

26. August 2001

27. August 2:30 PM

28. September 2002

29. August 2:30 PM

30. April 2004

31. August 3:00 PM

32. February 2008

33. August 4:30 PM

34. November 2009

35. August 5:30 PM

36. June 2012

37. August 8:00 PM

38. February 2013

39. March 2013

40. August 9:00 PM

41. May 2014

42. August 10:00 PM

Epilogue

FREE BOOK

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Books In Series

Until Here

Until Us
_To my family who has loved me and supported me throughout writing this book and every book since. You mean the world to me._
> Hope, the fickle keeper of the heart
> 
> Time, the master healer
> 
> Together forever, the ultimate joy
> 
> ~Lynn Cooper
Chapter One

# August 4:00 AM

## Billy

Billy slapped the button on his alarm before it could go off. He sighed heavily as he thought about _his_ Sweets. The baby girl, who came into his life eighteen years ago, was leaving for college, and things were going to change.

He rubbed the spot over his heart that ached at just the thought of her leaving. When had time sped up? It was only yesterday that he held her tiny newborn body against his chest while he napped on the couch. The curly brown hair, a shade darker than her mother's, had tickled his cheek as she cuddled on his lap while he read her stories during her toddler years. The shy little girl turned into a bubbly teenager, reminding him of her mother. This new thought caused a different ache in his chest.

Billy stared at the empty side of his bed. It had been years since anyone occupied that spot, and it was never by the one he truly wanted. Nearly nineteen years ago, a girl changed the course of his life. _Bridget_. Five years later, he fell in love with her.

He'd spent years fruitlessly searching for his peace and purpose. He found both when Bridget walked into his life. Strength and kindness radiated from her, even in the dark times of her life.

As time passed, his admiration grew to affection and eventually to the deep, unending love he knew his parents had shared.

He'd had relationships with other women. One continued on and off for several years, but their relationship ended when he could only imagine Bridget wearing his ring.

Bridget...she'd been a wreck this week, giving him a chance to hold her nearly as often as he liked. Last night, after Sweets left to hang out with her friends, she broke down. Closing his eyes, he could still feel the smooth contours of her back as he ran his hands up and down, soothing her. Her vanilla scent still lingered on his shirt.

_What would happen to them when the person that brought them together was no longer here?_

Unable to fall back asleep, Billy forced himself out of bed. After turning on the shower, he stood in front of the bathroom mirror and stared at his reflection. At forty-two, his cropped black hair had a few gray specks, and his five o'clock shadow had more than a sprinkling of white.

He pulled off his T-shirt to see the oaths, promises, and images of things he could never say printed on his body as a poem to those he loved. The word SWEETS written over his heart for the little girl who helped give his life direction and meaning. Billy's promise to Bridget drawn in the shape of a long-winged swallow, symbolizing his love and devotion to her and the family he wished they were.

More than once, he'd caught Bridget gazing at his public tattoos, but she never questioned. There were times he wished she would. It wouldn't have mattered if she had asked; the ones that meant the most were ones she had never seen. Those he kept covered and protected.

Former girlfriends had questioned, but he never gave them a straight answer. Doing so would only hurt them. How could he tell the women he cared about, even loved, that they would never be enough because his heart belonged to someone else? No one meant as much to him as the one woman he couldn't have. But they knew, even if he never admitted it.

After shedding the rest of his clothes, he stepped into the shower.

For years, he'd imagined Bridget as his wife, Sweets as his daughter, and maybe another child or two, but time slipped through his fingers. If Sweets leaving for college wasn't a reminder of how quickly time passed, nothing was.

Twenty minutes later, Billy poured coffee into three travel mugs and added creamer to two of them. He stopped to pick up donuts before he pulled up behind his diner and the apartment above where his girls lived.

"Today's the day. I have to tell her how much I love her." With a new resolve, he carried the coffees and donuts up the back steps that lead to his past and, God willing, his future.
Chapter Two

# May 1995

## Bridget

"What about these?" Tiffany lifted a pair of shorts that were at least a size smaller, if not two than Bridget wore.

Bridget sighed, annoyed her friend refused to let her wear her 'normal clothes' that fit. "Tiff, they're in the back of the closet for a reason. I can barely get them over my hips. The whole pile back there needs to be donated." The next thing Bridget knew, a pair of tiny jean shorts hit her in the face.

"Just try them on," Tiffany demanded as she kept rifling through Bridget's clothes.

"Fine, but you can't make fun of me if they don't zip up." They easily slid up until they reached her butt, where Bridget had to wiggle around until she got them over her hips. She stood in front of her friend with the zipper undone to show her how there was no way they'd fit. "See! I told you!"

Tiffany had the nerve to roll her eyes. "You'll have to zip them up before I can decide if they fit."

"Are you kidding?" Bridget screeched. They were tight, not just uncomfortable tight but skin tight, like she might lose circulation tight. To prove her point, she lay on her back, sucked in her breath and her stomach as much as possible, zipped them up, and hooked the button. "I can't breathe." Just saying it took the last of her oxygen.

"Stand up and turn." Tiffany's finger made a circle motion, telling Bridget which direction to move.

"I can't." Bridget was positive she was going to have to beg Tiffany to get scissors to cut her out.

"Here." Tiffany offered a hand and pulled until Bridget was up off the bed. She walked around her, nodding and smiling. "I think they fit perfectly. I don't know why you hide your great ass in baggy clothes."

"Just because I can still breathe when I wear them doesn't mean they're baggy." Bridget didn't have to see Tiffany to know she was rolling her eyes again.

"Ugh. Okay. I'll find you another pair, but you aren't wearing the shorts you picked out; they practically go to your knees. Those aren't frat party worthy."

_Frat party_.

Just the words made Bridget's stomach churn. She had never partied, not even with kids her own age, and now she was going to a college party. She wasn't sure how Tiffany talked her into going. She was pulling the shorts off when Tiffany turned from the closet holding several journals and a mischievous smirk on her face.

"You write in a diary?" Tiffany dropped all but one and started opening it when Bridget shot toward her and yanked the book from her hands. That's all she needed was to give Tiffany ammo to tease her. She picked up the rest and pushed them under her mattress. "You know that's the first place parents search for hidden stuff?" Tiffany warned.

"My dad hasn't been up here since I moved in a year ago." Even though Bridget wasn't close to her Dad and didn't want him in her room, it made her sad to know that he didn't care.

"Dear Diary, my friend Tiffany is the coolest person I've ever met. I want to be just like her," Tiffany teased.

Bridget blushed while Tiffany went on and on about how great she was. At times, Bridget didn't like her; today was one of them. Tiffany teased her relentlessly, sometimes viciously, but she hung on to their friendship as if it were a lifeline. Tiffany was her only friend other than her work friends. Typically, Bridget didn't mind, but at times like these, she wished she had at least one more friend as a buffer.

Two weeks after moving in with her dad and starting a new school, she hadn't made a single friend until Tiffany moved into the locker next to hers. She had shared a locker with her boyfriend until he dumped her, and she needed to find a new one. The day they met, Tiffany introduced herself, and that was that; they were friends. It was another week before Bridget found out her new friend didn't have the best reputation.

The popular girls hated her, and every time they passed her in the halls, they whispered "slut" and "ho". Tiffany would roll her eyes and try to act like it didn't bother her, but Bridget noticed how Tiffany's cheeks would redden and her voice would waver slightly.

Tiffany never lacked attention from the boys, though. Never one to miss an opportunity, Tiffany used her big breasts and fit body to her advantage. Miniskirts and barely there tops were staples of her wardrobe. She wore her auburn hair long and straight, her porcelain skin appeared as if she never had a zit in her life, and her body was trim but curvy. In a nutshell, she was the opposite of Bridget.

Bridget was what her mother had called a 'late bloomer', but she did eventually bloom, which was the reason her shorts no longer fit. Bridget coveted Tiffany's flat belly and trim hips. Bridget wasn't fat, not even chubby, but her hourglass figure tended to make clothes tight in places she liked to hide.

She constantly compared her five-foot-four frame to Tiffany's five-foot-eight, making her dislike her body even more. She'd never thought of herself as ugly, but compared to her friend, she felt that way. At times, her wavy hair became uncontrollable. During the summer, her nose and cheeks freckled, though people still complimented her on her 'fresh faced' appearance. Most people assumed she was younger than her nearly sixteen years.

Bridget stepped up to the full-length mirror and tugged on the bottom of the tiny, cotton shorts. They were better than the last pair and, thankfully, weren't jean shorts, so they had some stretch, but still... Shaking her head, she looked over her shoulder at Tiffany. "My dad won't let me out in these. And, I doubt any college guy will believe I'm eighteen." The more time she spent preparing to go out, the more she realized it was a horrible idea.

Tiffany pumped the wand of her mascara and added a second layer to her already thick lashes. "You have to wear those. You're hot! Between the tiny bikini top showing off your cleavage and the tight shorts, the guys will go crazy. When I'm done with you, nobody will know you're fifteen. Trust me."

"Almost sixteen," Bridget muttered under her breath. She hated being reminded of how young she was. A summer birthday guaranteed her spot as the youngest in her class. While everyone else was driving, she had to bum rides from Tiffany and coworkers.

She pulled off the shorts and threw them on the bed. "Tiff, maybe I shouldn't go. They're going to figure it out."

Tiffany huffed and blew a strand of hair off her face. "They are if you keep whining. Come on, Bridge. You promised. I don't want to go alone, and Shawn said to bring a friend." Tiffany gave her best puppy-dog eyes. Her pout made more dramatic by the shiny, pink lip gloss.

Most days it was easier to let Tiffany have her way than to deal with her being unhappy. "Fine. But, I'll need help with my makeup and getting out of the house without my dad seeing me."

Tiffany's high-pitched squeal vibrated through Bridget like a warning siren.

"I'm going to regret this. I just know it," Bridget said to herself since Tiffany had stopped listening as soon as Bridget conceded.

"We're going to have so much fun!" Tiffany bounced on her knees and pulled on Bridget's arm until she sat in front of her. "I'll even do your hair."

Bridget let Tiffany work her magic and pretended to listen to her talk about a new store in the mall and the cute boy who worked there. Neither were of any interest to Bridget.

Her mother had called her practical. She didn't see the point of spending her hard-earned money on things she didn't need. Now that she lived with her father, she became even more frugal, knowing she only had two more years to save enough money for a car and college.

Her father paying for college wasn't an option, even though he could afford it. Every day, he made it crystal clear that he only saw her as a burden, someone who infringed on his time, space, and money. So, she worked as many shifts as possible and still got straight A's.

The words "sex" and "Shawn" pulled Bridget out of her pity party and back to Tiffany's endless chatter. Tiffany and Shawn had only been dating a few weeks, and though Tiffany had had sex before, Shawn was her first college boyfriend—a boyfriend who didn't know she was a high school junior.

The two of them had met at a different college party a few weeks ago. Since then, they'd been seeing each other every day.

"You're going to have sex with him? You barely know him."

"Of course I am. He's gorgeous, and I'm not a virgin. Plus, he won't wait forever. If I don't, he'll find somebody else who will."

The more Tiffany talked, the more Bridget wondered why she was going. "Tiff, swear to me that you won't leave me alone at this party." Tiffany only laughed in reply, and the anxiety rose in Bridget's chest. Bridget pictured herself being left stranded and forced to fend for herself at a party where she didn't know anyone or belong. "Swear to me!" she demanded.

"Fine. I swear not to ditch you, but Shawn and I might want a few minutes alone," Tiffany said with a wink. Her reply didn't ease the worry.

"I can't believe it." Bridget stood in front of the mirror, surprised by her transformation.

"Right? You. Are. Gorgeous! Those lips... I'm so jealous. Adding eye makeup and more curl to your hair makes you look years older."

Bridget stared at her reflection as Tiffany did a double check on her own hair and makeup.

A small smile started at the edges of Bridget's mouth, slowly lifting until she couldn't fight it any longer. She looked at least eighteen and even a little...sexy. Wearing makeup and revealing clothing were so out of her comfort zone. Bridget pulled on the tight fitting shorts and tank top then rechecked the strings on her bikini, making sure they wouldn't come untied.

"Put this on over your outfit. We need to get going."

Bridget slipped the summer dress over her head and adjusted it, making sure the clothes underneath weren't visible while Tiffany admired herself in the mirror.

They quietly descended the stairs. Tiffany went first, leaning her head around the corner to see if Bridget's dad was in the living room. She mouthed, "Hurry!"

Bridget's father didn't bother lifting his head from his newspaper when they passed by him. When she reached the front door, Bridget yelled, "I'm going out with Tiffany. I'll be back by curfew." Bridget heard him grunt in response, but he didn't say a word. Once she was seated in Tiffany's car, she sighed with relief.

"You had nothing to worry about." Pointing to Bridget's sundress, Tiffany lifted her nose in disgust. "Now take that off," she demanded and stepped on the gas, making the tires squeal.

"TIFFANY! If my dad hears, he'll never let me go anywhere with you."

"Relax! He barely notices you're alive," she said carelessly.

Tiffany excitedly chattered away as if she'd said, "The sky is blue," or another random fact. Bridget nodded and smiled, but the only thing she heard was, "He barely notices you're alive." The truth of the statement shot straight to Bridget's heart, reopening the wound the death of her mother had left. She closed her eyes and tried to control the sting of her friend's thoughtless words. It was the truth, but Bridget desperately wished it wasn't.

Bridget's parents had divorced when she was three. For the next eleven years, she'd only seen her dad for two weeks during the summer and talked on the phone once a month...if he remembered. She didn't mind. He didn't know her well enough to ask about her life. But then her mom had gotten sick and died soon after her diagnosis. That was nearly a year ago.

He wasn't unkind, but he was strict and liked his life a certain way. She was an excellent student, took care of the house, and made dinner every night she wasn't working. When he had a bad day, she tiptoed around him, but he still treated her like an unwanted guest.

Her mother had told Bridget she loved her every day. But her dad...the harder she tried, the further he pulled away.

Once again, Tiffany pulled her out of her thoughts. "This is it," she whispered as if they had reached The Holy Grail instead of a fraternity party celebrating the last day of finals. She parked behind a long line of cars in front of what the students called "Fraternity Way." They were blocks away from the party, but they heard the thump of the bass when they stepped out of the car.

Bridget readjusted her clothing for the umpteenth time. Her hands shook, and she swore she could hear her knees knock. Tiffany rounded the car at a jog and took her hand, pulling her in the direction of the music. She was still talking. Bridget wasn't sure she had stopped since they'd left the house. It didn't matter. It wasn't as if Bridget heard a word Tiffany said. Bridget was too worried that she'd get kicked out or worse that they wouldn't let her in.

"Oh my God, Bridge. Your hands are sweaty. Gross." Tiffany let go of her hand and wiped off her sweat.

"Sorry. I'm nervous."

Tiffany's eyes rolled. Again. "They aren't going to figure it out." She pointed to two girls heading in the same direction. "You look as old as them, except way hotter. Well, you do when you aren't panicking."

Bridget looked over at her friend. With Tiffany's confidence, she could get away with dating older guys. Unlike Bridget, who'd never been on a date.

Tiffany grinned and screamed, "Shawn! No! No! No!" But she didn't put up a fight when he charged her. He lifted her over his shoulder and swatted her butt.

"Hey! You made it." She slid down until their mouths met and her legs wrapped around his waist.

Their kisses looked more like an attack on each other's faces than anything that could be perceived as enjoyable. But then again Bridget had only been kissed once by a boy whose lips were dry and stiff and his breath smelled of sour cream and onion chips. Luckily, it only lasted a second.

Not wanting to watch her friend make out, Bridget turned away, only to run into a hard, naked chest. "Sorry," she mumbled as she stepped back, avoiding eye contact. This was a bad idea! Being a third wheel didn't sound any better than being left alone.

"I don't belong here," Bridget muttered to herself, but the naked chest heard her.

A mass of butterflies took off in her stomach the moment a deep voice said, "Oh, you belong."

Surprised by his flirting, she lifted her gaze from his chest until she met the most startling blue eyes she'd ever seen. Bridget bit her lower lip and blushed as her eyes traced a line around his large frame. He was at least a foot taller than she; his arms muscled and bulky. His shoulders were broad; his torso narrowed at his waist, where his swim trunks hung low on his hips.

She blushed, causing him to chuckle at her awkwardness. "Oh, man, I'm going to have to keep an eye on you. You give guys those gorgeous brown doe eyes, and I'll be beating jerks off of you."

Bridget's jaw dropped as she comprehended his meaning. "What?" she asked. Glancing behind her, she made sure he was actually talking to her before she embarrassed herself. When she looked back, he grinned. "That." He pointed to her face. "That innocent girl look is dangerous around here."

"Innocent girl look?" Bridget repeated.

A big booming laugh escaped his lips. He took her hand and held it as he introduced himself. "I'm Phillip. I'm a friend of Shawn's. You must be Tiffany's friend."

She looked up at him then at their hands then back to his face. She blinked then blinked again. "Yeah...um—Bridget."

"Hmmm. Shy and innocent looking. It's going to be a long night." His voice was filled with humor and lacked any irritation over being responsible for her.

Bridget glanced around, looking for Tiffany, but she was nowhere in sight. _Of course! She ditched her_. She should have trusted her gut. Phillip squeezed her hand. "Come with me." She had no choice, because as he began to walk, he was still holding her hand.

He pulled her through the front door, past groups of people shouting over the music; a few couples were dancing and making out. She searched for Tiffany, but it was too crowded to see beyond what was right in front of her.

"Stay right here," he yelled over the loud music. They were in the kitchen. She watched as he went to fill two red plastic cups at a keg.

Bridget stood against the wall, her eyes focused on the floor, trying not to draw attention to herself, but it didn't work. A guy they'd passed in the hallway stood directly in front of her.

"Hey." He gave her a trying-to-be-sexy smile as his eyes made their way from her lips to her chest. Bridget tried to squirm her way around him, but he stepped in front of her. "Where are you going, gorgeous?"

"Nowhere." Her voice cracked, and she nervously looked over his shoulder at Phillip. Finally making eye contact with him, she noticed he'd lost his easy going smile.

He was at her side in seconds, shoving a cup into her hand and wrapping an arm around her waist. "Back off, asshole. She's with me." He pushed her in front of him, guiding her with his hand out the back door.

Just as she stepped out, Tiffany screamed at Shawn as he picked her up and threw her in the pool, following right behind her.

Phillip grabbed a couple of towels and laid them next to the pool.

"Come here." He sat, patting the spot next to him.

She slipped off her flip-flops and knelt next to him. Her body was stiff, and her stomach rolled with nerves.

"First party?"

She let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding and gave him a nervous smile. "That obvious?"

"Yes." Laughing, Phillip leaned back and stretched his long, muscular legs in front of him. "Why haven't I seen you here before?"

She didn't want to tell him the truth but didn't want to lie either. "I'm not much of a partier."

He nodded his head with a grin. "That's a shame." His eyes left a scorching trail from the top of her curly brown hair to her pink painted toenails. "A real shame."

Uncomfortable with his attention, she looked away, trying to hide the blush that was creeping up her face. She'd never thought of herself as more than average looking, but he looked as if he could eat her for dinner.

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes to soak up the last of the afternoon sun. "What's your major?"

"Oh... uh...undecided."

He looked over at her with a smirk. "I guess you still have at least another year before you need to worry about it."

She nodded in agreement but wanted to move the discussion away from her. "What's yours?"

He proudly stated, "Pre-law. I'm here on a football scholarship."

"Really?" She was impressed but a smart, good-looking, and athletic guy was so out of her league.

"Yup. This was my first year playing college ball. Did you come to any games?"

"I'm sorry, no." Even though Bridget knew nothing about football, she loved the energy of the games and the crowd. She was genuinely sorry she never went to one.

"That's okay. Now that you know me, you'll have to come to them next year. It'll be great. I'll be playing more than this past year." His sincerity surprised her, but that was nothing compared to what he said next. "Maybe you'll even wear my jersey."

With barely contained giddiness, she calmly replied, "That would be cool." But as she thought of the possibility, guilt squashed any excitement she had over this sweet, gorgeous guy being interested in her. She fidgeted with the bottom of her shorts, nervous about his attention and her growing interest in him.

Her eyes scanned the college kids laughing and having fun, wishing she could calm her nerves and enjoy the party. Between hiding her age and sitting next to the best-looking guy she had ever met, she was too nervous to enjoy any of it. It didn't help that Tiffany was so focused on Shawn that she hadn't even looked at Bridget since Shawn picked her up on the front lawn.

A warm hand covered hers, stopping the jitters in their tracks. She sucked in a breath and looked into his face. "Relax. I'm here, and I won't let anything happen to you. I promise. I won't even drink." He picked up his plastic cup and dumped it behind him. "You probably shouldn't either." She wasn't planning on it. One sip of the bitter drink was more than enough for her.

His eyes softened as he leaned toward her. "Come here. Get closer."

She wondered what he meant. They were sitting right next to each other, but she scooted closer until their knees were touching.

"Just relax."

_Easier said than done_.

Running away was still an option, she reminded herself.

He lay on his side facing her, and she did the same, mirroring him. She placed one hand in front of her, steadying herself, and laid her head on the other.

"So tell me about yourself," he said.

Just as Bridget was about to give a short version, a gorgeous blonde stopped right in front of them. Barely giving Bridget a glance the girl kept her eyes on Phillip. "Hey! I wondered where you ran off to. I was hoping we'd finish what we started last night."

It took Bridget only a second to realize what the girl meant, and how she had been making a fool out of herself. Bridget's face flamed. What was she thinking? Of course, he was with a gorgeous blonde. Humiliated, Bridget attempted to get up and leave, but he placed a hand on her hip and pulled her closer. "Hey, Mimi."

With a frown, Mimi's eyes glanced at his hand on Bridget's hip. Mimi leaned over, with her breasts barely contained in her itty-bitty bikini, to ask, "You want to go for a swim or...go somewhere private?"

It didn't take a rocket scientist to know Bridget was in way over her head. She made another attempt to leave, but he moved his hand around her waist, making it difficult to move an inch.

"As you can see, I'm with her." The blonde's eyes shot daggers as she walked away in a huff.

When the shock wore off, Bridget braved a question she wasn't sure she wanted the answer to. "You were with her last night?" She didn't want to admit it, but she was extremely jealous of the idea, even though they'd just met. Bridget's face flushed again, waiting for his reply.

"You're jealous. I kind of like it." Phillip chuckled under his breath. Her already-heated body was on the verge of bursting into flames. "Bridget, I'm not interested in her. She came onto me last night, and I told her no. I realize there's a stigma with frat guys, but I don't just screw around with any girl who's interested. I'm a 'one-girl guy', but she's not a 'one-guy girl'."

"Okay." Bridget wasn't sure what she should say. He didn't say that he was interested in her either.

"I like you Bridget, and I want to spend more time with you." She nodded but wondered for how long. Phillip stood up and pulled her with him. "Let's get in the pool." He stood next to her and watched as she shed her shirt and shorts. She avoided looking at him as she stripped down to her bikini. When she dared a peek, his eyes were closed, and he was taking a deep breath. He finally opened them only to shake his head. "I thought I was doing Shawn a favor by hanging out with you. Instead, I'm going to owe him...big time."

"What?" She held her hand up and shoved him away. "You're only talking to me because of Shawn?" Just when she thought the hot guy was into her, she found out she was making a fool out of herself.

_Awesome._

She looked around, trying to figure out the best escape route.

"Whoa. No. I mean, yes, he asked me to talk to you, but he didn't tell me to hang out with you all night." He pushed his fingers through his hair and pulled at the ends. "If I didn't like you, we'd be over there." Pointing to a large group of kids laughing and joking. "So I wouldn't have to be alone with you. But, we're over here," he smirked, "by ourselves. I want you to myself."

Her jaw dropped as she caught up to what he said. A smile teased at the corners of her mouth until she had to bite down on her lip to keep from making a fool of herself.

"Don't do that. Don't." He shook his head.

She held back a giggle when she realized the effect she had on him. A guy had never looked at her the way Phillip did. She watched as his chest expanded, taking in a deep breath then slowly letting it out as he took a step closer and stood in stunned silence as he took another. A hand slid around her bare waist, pulling her against his hard chest. Her heart raced as he leaned in, pulling her chin up with one hand. His lips touched hers in a short tender kiss. She became putty in his arms. He pulled away just a moment before he did it again. He smiled when she sighed into his mouth.

Embarrassed by her response, Bridget tried to pull away, but he just tightened his hold. He traced her lips with his tongue until she opened up for him. He explored her mouth until their tongues met. It was better than she imagined. His heart raced, matching her own rapid beat.

When she turned her head to catch her breath, Bridget was only aware of the warm air she drew in and her tender lips.

She leaned her head against his chest, breathing in his masculine scent. His hands hadn't moved from their original position. She was afraid to see his expression. _Could he tell she was inexperienced?_ She took a deep breath and lifted her head. Their eyes met, and a smile spread across his lips, igniting a flame in her lower belly.

"Wow," he whispered. Unable to use her voice, she nodded in response. Wow was an understatement. "Bridget..." He didn't finish his sentence before he kissed her again.

A wave of water hit them, and a familiar voice yelled, "Get a room!"

_Tiffany_.

Putting space between them, she looked around, realizing how many people were watching. She pushed his hand off her waist, not wanting to draw more attention. He let her go but stood close. "Sorry. I know that was fast. I should have known you aren't like the regular girls that come to our parties."

Humiliated by the apparent put-down, Bridget picked up her clothes and walked to the house, wanting to escape his intense stare. Her eyes burned as she held back tears. "Just find a bathroom," she told herself. She was only a step away from the back door when he gripped her upper arm.

"Bridget! Where are you going?" His tone was worried, and when she looked into his eyes, all she saw was concern.

A tear streamed down her cheek. She wiped it away, but it was replaced with another. It had been a year since she last cried; not even her dad's indifference made her tear up. But holding the tears at bay in the face of such disappointment was impossible. For a moment, she'd been happy, elated even. He made her feel wanted, and it felt good to be wanted. She hadn't felt that way since her mother died. Bridget hadn't realized how much she missed it until she was in his arms.

His hand slid down her arm until it reached her hand. "Come with me." Not waiting for her response, Phillip led them away from the busy back door to the side of the house, where they could hide from the crowd. To avoid looking at him, she leaned against the house and focused on her bare feet. He stood in front of her and placed his hands on either side of her head. "What just happened?"

There was no way she was going to be able to tell him what was bothering her, so she kept quiet, and her eyes focused on the ground.

With a gentle voice, he asked, "Did I hurt you?"

A heavy sigh escaped her lips, and she shook her head no. She should have known. He was too sweet not to ask.

"Then what is it?" He leaned down, trying to meet her eyes.

"You're right." He was too sweet and thoughtful to lie to. "I'm not like the other girls. I don't have... I don't have much experience. So yes, we were moving too fast, but it doesn't matter." Ducking under his arm, she attempted to get away, but he blocked her.

"Bridget, please don't go. Please." He lifted her chin, giving her no choice but to look him in his expressive eyes. "I'm glad you aren't like those other girls. There's something about you... I can't explain it, but I like you. I mean really like you, and we just met. Please stay. I'll keep my hands to myself. We'll only kiss if you want, but I hope you do." She let out a small laugh. _Who wouldn't want to kiss him?_ "We'll go as slowly as you like, but I don't want you to leave. There's something between us. I can feel it." He pointed back and forth between them. "I want to see where it leads."

He was way too good for her. But it was too late. She was already falling for him.

She nodded her head.

"You'll stay?" he asked. "With me?" he verified when she only nodded in answer to his first question.

"Yes. I'll stay. With you," she said with a shy smile.

"YES!" He lifted her up and swung her around. "I like you, Bridget...whatever your last name is."

She laughed. "Larson. My last name is Larson."
Chapter Three

# May 1995

## Billy

"Mom. No." Heaving a sigh, he pinched his eyes closed and leaned his head against the wall. Same conversation; different day. "I'm not coming home. At least not yet." He wished it were as simple as getting on a flight back to Arizona, but knowing what waited for him filled him with dread.

For a college graduation gift, his parents bought him a round-trip ticket to Europe, expecting him to return within the month. Billy sold most of his high-value items, emptied out his savings account that held almost every cent he'd made since he was a kid and a small inheritance from his grandparents. He had enough money to live on for a few years.

A week later he was on his way to Athens, Greece. After the first month, he called and told his parents he was going to stay and wasn't sure for how long. He just wanted to 'find himself'. After nearly two years, he still didn't know what he wanted to do with his life. But he did know it wasn't what his parents dreamed of for him, and so far, he hadn't found it in most of Europe. He'd kept hoping he'd know it when he found it.

He'd been in Barcelona, Spain a month, and it wasn't here. Most places he only stayed a week, maybe two. Any more than that, he'd get antsy and anxious. He wasn't planning on staying this long in Barcelona, but a temporary job at the hostel fell in his lap. It gave him extra money and a free bed during his stay. This morning he finished his last shift, so tomorrow morning he would make his way to Madrid.

"Oh, honey, but we miss you. Everyone at the diner keeps asking about you. Oh, and that girl you were dating before you left came by a few times. You should call her." He had no idea who 'that girl' was. When he left, he wasn't dating anyone exclusively. In fact, he'd broken up with his last girlfriend his junior year of college.

"I miss you, too." Loud, obnoxious voices drew his attention away from his phone call. He turned to see Trevor, a guy he had befriended, walk in with a rowdy group of men from California who'd shown up last night.

"I know you want to find yourself...."

Not again. He tried to block out her voice as she repeated the same words she said every time they talked.

The first year, she told him how happy and excited she was for him. She begged him to tell her stories, but gradually she began hinting that Dad needed help with the diner and asked when he was coming home.

He didn't want to hear it again. They loved the place, but to him it was a prison.

The pay phone hung outside the main living area, giving him an unobstructed view of people coming and going. It never failed to surprise him the different types of people staying there. Last week, he met a man in his seventies who traveled for his retirement. He loved the idea, but of course, it meant that someday he'd have to have a real job to retire from, and that was the idea he hated. He refused to be stuck in the same place with the same job year after year. Just the idea was suffocating.

He'd worked for his parents since he was a kid. They encouraged him to go to college, but that didn't give him a break from the diner. He continued to work every winter and summer break.

Now he lived life on his terms. He was in search of his place in the world. Money was an issue, and he figured he had another five or six months if he was careful. Luckily, his mother sent him money every couple of months 'to eat properly'. Only using it when he needed privacy and a room to himself; otherwise, he saved and stayed in the dorms with other travelers and found local places to eat cheaply.

"Mmmhmm. Yup." He repeated the same phrases, pretending to pay attention. His parents were good people. The best actually. They just hadn't figured out that their dreams weren't his. His dad had driven Billy to the airport, wished him well, and hugged him as if it was the last time they'd see each other. It was one of the best moments he'd had with his dad. But after the first six months, they talked less and less when he called. He'd let his dad down. No doubt his parents loved him, no matter what, but having them disappointed in him made his heart ache.

In his peripheral vision, he caught a light reflecting off golden-blonde hair. The laugh coming from the girl grabbed his full attention. It was husky and sultry. His jaw dropped as his eyes fixed on her. Her throaty laugh was incredibly sexy and made him want to find a private space for them to get to know each other better.

Gorgeous, luscious, and sexy were just a few words that came to mind right before he completely blanked out.

"Billy? Billy? Are you still there?" His mother's worried voice pulled him out of his stupor.

"Huh?"

"Billy, you're breaking up. Are you there?"

He reluctantly pulled his eyes away from the distraction to help clear his head.

"Sorry, Mom. I'm here, but I need to go."

No longer able to stop himself, he turned back around to see the beauty, with a bright smile on her face, leaning against the wall opposite him.

"Oh, honey. I love you—"

"Mom. I love you, too." He cut her off before she went off on another tangent. "I'll talk to you soon. Bye."

Billy hung up but kept a hold of the receiver for a moment longer. His tongue was suddenly thick and words escaped his brain.

"Hi," she said with a slight accent. The tall blonde with big, blue eyes and a straight nose that was a little long but matched her face, smiled at him.

"Your mom?" she asked, pointing to the phone he still held in his hand.

He hung up the receiver and smiled back at her. "Yeah."

"It's nice that there are still men who aren't afraid to show their affection for their mothers."

She put her hand out, and with her other, she pointed to herself. "I'm Freja."

"Billy." He shook her hand, holding it longer than necessary.

"You done?" she asked.

He dropped her hand and stepped away. "Oh. Yes. Excuses me."

She glanced over her shoulder and lifted a brow. "You going to listen to my call?"

Embarrassed, his face flushed, and he apologized for being rude. He reluctantly turned away and stepped into the main room. His eyes made a quick sweep. Black, gray, and white graffiti covered the colorful walls. Strategically placed couches and beanbags created a conversational seating area. A two-person table sat next to the only window in the room.

The guys that he'd heard earlier sat at the far end of the room, talking and laughing loudly. It was obvious they had spent time at a bar as they unabashedly talked about their waitress's assets.

He sat at the table, drinking bottled water while keeping an eye on the woman using the phone.

After five minutes, she was still on the phone. He smiled as he watched her hands animatedly move faster than her lips.

"Billy!" Trevor waved his hand and invited him to hang out. He took one last look at her before walking to the other side of the room.

"We're going to grab dinner across the street then head to a club near the beach. You in?"

All eyes were on him. "Yeah. Of course."

"Cool. I'm going to go shower and change, and we'll meet back here in a half hour." He nodded as the rest of the guys drunkenly shouted and whooped at the idea of food and women.

He followed Trevor out of the room, hoping to get a chance to see Freja again, but when he turned the corner, she was gone. Disappointed, he went to his locker and grabbed his shower things and a change of clothes.

"Oh man, that was good," Trevor moaned over his empty plate. Their group decided to order an array of dishes to share. Billy was thrifty, but the food was good along with the conversation, making the extra money worth it. His dinner companions had traveled from Madrid and were heading toward France, so he was able to get useful tips on his next location.

They were at least five years younger than him, mostly recent high school graduates except for Trevor, who was a college drop out. Billy wasn't sure why, but Trevor grated on his nerves.

As he watched Trevor sweet talk one of the girls that followed them from the hostel, he realized why. Trevor reminded Billy of himself. The past few years, Billy acted just like the guy. Trevor was nice and fun to be around. But, the guy had been with as many women as days of the week, and Billy had only known him six days. Billy's gut clenched at the realization.

_When had he turned into this guy?_

Billy was a relationship guy. Every sexual partner had been a girlfriend first. When he first arrived in Europe, he'd excused his behavior. It was impossible to have a relationship when you backpacked by yourself, but the way he went from woman to woman was shameful. It started out fun and exciting. Not once did he ask himself if he should or not. But each encounter left him just as lonely and empty. It's the same emptiness Billy saw in Trevor.

Even after a second drink, the ache lingered. Billy was lost and lonely, and no amount of alcohol or sex would take the emptiness away.

No longer in the mood to be with his companions, he tried to make his excuses to leave, but they insisted on him staying.

"Come on, dude. You're leaving tomorrow, let loose and have fun. I saw you checking out that girl Freja. She's going to the club tonight."

Billy's desperate need to escape ended the instant he heard her name. He'd go just to see her again.

They paid their tab and made their way toward the beach. Time spent with this raucous bunch, who tried to one-up each other on their past sexual escapades, only added to his annoyance. He was tired of these young guys who were here for the sole purpose of getting drunk and laid, and not always in that order.

In the time it took to walk to the club from the restaurant, he decided he'd buy a plane ticket home. He needed to hug his mother and drink a beer with his dad. If he needed more time away, he'd come back.

Living this way wasn't making him any happier. It started out good—amazing, actually. Every day was an adventure. Traveling, seeing the world, and meeting people was a dream come true. He couldn't remember when it all changed. The need for something more pushed him to keep moving, and every time he didn't find what he was looking for, he moved again. Week after week his disappointment grew. He looked to women to fill the void and push the loneliness away.

The guys separated and conquered. Alone at the bar, he watched them make their moves. Billy shook his head, more at himself than his companions. The club was wall-to-wall people. Any attempt he made to scan the room for Freja failed. He sat near the door, hoping he might catch her coming in or leaving.

After an hour, a dull headache built behind his eyes. He hadn't seen her and was moments away from giving up when he sensed someone sit next to him. A breath tickled his ear as the voice he couldn't get out of his head purred, "Hello, mama's boy."

He spun around to face her. She laughed at her own joke as she sat back and smirked at him.

He didn't bother hiding his relief or cheesy grin. "Hey. You're here."

"I am here." She giggled.

"Freja."

"Billy." She pointed and winked at him. "You want to dance?"

"Nope." Never.

"Oh, come on. Not even for me?" Her hand slid down his arm until she held his hand. She pulled, but he resisted.

"Sorry, not even for a sexy-as-hell woman. I don't dance, but you go right ahead." As long as she danced by herself, he thought.

"I guess I'll have to dance alone." She pouted with her perfect heart-shaped lips painted with a dark, red lipstick. He made a mental note to wipe it off before kissing her tonight because he was going to kiss her.

He stood up and offered his hand to help her off the stool. "You know what I like about you?" she asked.

"Tell me," he requested, grinning ear to ear.

"I can wear my sexy high heels and you're still taller." She leaned in and kissed his cheek before walking away in her very short, very tight strapless dress. The heat from the simple kiss went straight to his head—both of them. He stumbled to the stool and watched her and the eyes that followed her to the dance floor.

Jealousy threaded through him but not enough to go to her. He watched as she turned down guys and kept her eyes on him as she put on a show just for him. The swing of her hips and the sexy stare was turning him on. He needed to find a private spot.

When a slow song came on, she made her way back to him and the drink he ordered for her.

She slid onto the stool beside him, fanning herself with her hand. "That was fun. Probably more fun if you had danced with me."

"Sorry to break it to you, but you will never catch me dancing. I just don't." Not that he was planning on seeing her after tomorrow.

"Oh, a table." She picked up her drink, handed him his, and pulled him toward an empty table in the corner of the club.

Billy pulled out her chair then slid his next to her. It wasn't any less noisy, but it was private.

"So tell me about yourself, Freja."

She gave him a crooked smile.

"Well, I'm from Sweden." He figured as much. "I just graduated from college, and I'm having fun before I start medical school in the fall. My social life will be nonexistent for the next several years, so this adventure is my last for a while."

_Beautiful and smart_.

"My parents are divorced but good friends. I have an older brother who's a musician. With his touring, I rarely see him."

"Is he in a band I might have heard of?"

"Doubt it." She said the name of the band, but there was no way for him to repeat it let alone spell it without butchering it. "They're just finishing up a European tour. Just small venues, but he loves it."

"What do your parents think?"

"They've always been supportive of everything we do. I'm very lucky."

A waitress came by, setting their drinks, which included several shots of Tequila, on the table.

He watched Freja down two shots and take a long pull of her beer. She leaned back and smiled. "Your turn."

He met her drink for drink before speaking. "I'm an only child to the best parents ever." He winked at her and went on. "I grew up in Flagstaff, Arizona."

"I know where that is. I've been to Arizona." She looked as if she was going to say something else but stopped herself, encouraging him to tell her more. "Go on."

"I spent most of my time growing up in my parents' diner. After I graduated from college two years ago, I left home and have been making my way through Europe ever since."

"Wow. Two years? Don't you get...tired of it? Or miss home? I just started, and I already miss my family and friends."

"Ha. Did you talk to my mother?"

She shook her head and smiled, but Freja stared at him as if she was trying to figure him out. "I'm not criticizing. Just...curious."

"I guess if you have your stuff figured out, it sounds odd, but it's working for me," he lied. Billy didn't want this beautiful woman to see how lost he felt inside. If anything, he was jealous that she knew exactly what she wanted to do with her life.

"You're so carefree. I'm jealous. But, at the same time, I'm excited to become a doctor. After all the hard work, I'll be able to do what I've dreamt of. I want my own practice, and then I'd like to join Doctors Without Borders one day to care for women and babies around the world. That's my ultimate goal."

Silence hung between them. _Beautiful, smart, and generous_. He had never met anyone like her. He wanted to know everything about her.

She tilted her head back and took a deep breath. "Did I just scare you or something?" Her last words slurred. They had polished off their shots and a couple beers. Both of them were on this side of drunk.

"No. No, not at all. I'm just impressed."

"Good." She smiled and leaned into him, giving him a kiss that within seconds turned heated. She ran her fingers through his shoulder-length hair. His hand slid around her neck, pulling her closer until she sat on his lap. "I think we should head back to the hostel." Her voice was low and breathy.

He stood, almost knocking her off his lap. Their hands reached for each other as they made their way out of the club. Passing Trevor, who had his tongue down a poor girl's throat, Billy bumped him and told him he was leaving. Trevor waved in acknowledgment and had his mouth back on the girl before Billy got the last word out.

When they stepped out of the club, the cool air hit them, causing Freja to do a full body shiver. He pulled her closer and wrapped an arm around her. When she wobbled in her high heel shoes, Billy knelt in front of her, pulling them off and holding them with his free hand.

When he stood, she once again stopped their progress to the hostel and, more importantly, to his bed. He wanted her, and by the look in her eyes, she wanted him too. "Let's go." The image of her naked with her long, lean legs wrapped around him made him impatient.

Instead of following, she reached up and licked his lower lip, sucking on it until he opened up to her. The moment their tongues met, it went from teasing to intense.

The hostel was still a few blocks away, and he wasn't sure if he'd make it that long, especially if she kept kissing him. Images of her mouth in other places only served to frustrate him all the more.

_He wanted her._

_Needed her._

_Now._

Her hands moved under his shirt, sliding them from his lower stomach up his chest until she reached his shoulders and tried to push the shirt off. He wasn't so drunk that he was ready to strip in the middle of the road. She looked around, and with a wicked grin, she pulled him toward an empty, darkened one-way street. He pushed her up against a brick wall. Her head cradled in his hand while his other moved under her dress until he reached her panties. "Oh God, Freja."

His hand and fingers caressed her, bringing her to the edge. "So close." She breathed out. His lips made a trail from her mouth to the top of her strapless dress. He pulled it down with his teeth until her breasts popped out over the top. He pulled one pink nipple into his mouth, sucking and nipping at it. Her moans encouraged him to keep going. He moved to the other, giving it the same attention until she screamed, "Billy! Yes." His mouth was back on hers, muffling her cries to keep from bringing unwanted attention.

As her breathing normalized, she pushed him back just enough to get her hands between them and unzipped his shorts. Her delicate hands slid from his stomach under his boxers until she held his cock. His head tilted back as he moaned. He wasn't going to last long if she kept stroking him. He'd been so close to making a fool of himself when she came with his fingers inside of her. She was so incredibly gorgeous, and when she moaned his name, it took everything he had to keep from coming.

"Condom," she demanded. He fumbled with his wallet until he found the square foil wrapper. She took it from him, ripped the wrapper with her teeth, and gripped him tightly as she rolled it onto his stiff cock.

Sweat ran down his neck and back as he tried to even out his breathing. He loosened his hold on her and lowered her until her feet touched the ground. She adjusted the bodice of her dress so her small, perfect breasts were covered.

He'd never had sex in public before, but then again, he'd never been so caught up in the moment that he didn't care who saw him.

After he had readjusted his clothes, he reached for her hand, and she silently took his.

When they stepped into the overly warm hostel, she pulled him toward the lockers and told him to meet her in the shower. He'd never heard a better idea.

Minutes later, they were under the spray, making out and taking turns washing each other. She was the most passionate woman he'd ever met, and what they'd just done wasn't enough. A sick feeling started in his lower belly as he thought about leaving the next morning. If they only had tonight, he wasn't going to let her sleep alone.

After drying off and changing, he took her hand and guided them to his bed. He'd never been so happy to stay at one of the few hostels that had curtains surrounding their beds.

He followed her into the tight space, sliding the curtain closed behind him.

Facing each other, he watched as her eyes moved across his chest and down his arms. She reached out and traced a tattoo he had on his chest while he ran a hand along the length of her body. Her skin was soft and warm under his touch.

"I like this one," she said, pointing to the first tattoo he ever got. He searched for a tattoo parlor the moment he landed in Greece. Now, every country he visited had a mark on his chest. He didn't say a word, just pulled her closer until their bodies wrapped around each other.

"I don't want to let you go," he confessed. She bit her lower lip as she moved closer until their lips met. "Where are you headed next?" he asked.

She gave him a shy smile. "Wherever you are."

Relief flooded him. "Thank God."

She giggled into his chest. "So where are we going next?"

"Madrid."
Chapter Four

# August 4:00 AM

## Bridget

Bridget slid out of bed, picked up her pillow, and shuffled into the living room just as the air conditioner kicked on. A slight shiver ran up her bare arms and legs. August in Arizona meant hot, but Billy made sure the apartment stayed comfortable, even if the mornings were a tad cooler than she preferred.

She dropped the pillow on the overstuffed couch and followed behind it. The sofa had been a gift from Billy eight years ago. If it weren't for him, she'd still be using the old, itchy plaid one that had been there when she moved in. She rarely spent money on things she didn't need. Saving for Katie's education was far more important. He'd surprised her with it. It wasn't a special occasion. One day, two men showed up, bringing her a new couch and taking the old one away. The thoughtfulness of the gesture meant more than the actual piece of furniture.

Billy made sure their needs were met without expecting or wanting anything in return. It's the way he expressed his love. It may not be the way she wanted him to, but she'd take any love he had to offer.

She scrunched up her legs and pulled an afghan over herself to ward off the slight chill. Though she was emotionally and physically exhausted, her worries for the future kept her awake.

Her baby girl would be leaving for college today. When she held a positive pregnancy test in her hand at sixteen, she never imagined this was where life would take her. Being pregnant at sixteen was difficult and terrifying, but it led her here...to Billy.

_Her Billy_.

When she had no one left, he became her family. When she had nowhere else to go, he allowed her to make the diner and the apartment above it her home.

She'd been in love with Billy Hall since she was sixteen. She'd been content with their friendship but now feared Katie leaving meant the end of that, too.

Bridget's laptop called to her. She picked it up and balanced it on her knees while she waited for the login screen. It was ancient, but it was hers, bought used a few years ago. She'd intended to start writing again, but, instead, it sat and collected dust. There was always an excuse not to use it.

As an adolescent, she'd spent hours journaling her life and feelings. In school, her Creative Writing class had given her an outlet for the characters in her head. It was the only time she felt comfortable sharing her stories. Mrs. Langston, her high school writing teacher, told Bridget that she showed promise and encouraged her to write.

After Katie's birth, Bridget pushed her love of writing aside.

* * *

_After finally getting Katie to sleep late in the evening, Bridget pulled out a fresh notebook and started writing. A new story idea had been swimming around in her head for weeks, and she was impatient to get it written down._

_The characters and story came to life under her pen. She smiled as idea after idea came to her. Until the pounding on the front door startled her into awareness. Katie was crying._

_Bridget trembled with panic as she hurried over to the crib and stared at her daughter. Her face was bright red and scrunched into an angry grimace. Tiny hands fisted and legs stretched out as her cries turned to screams._

_Katie was only a few weeks old, and Bridget was already failing motherhood. She lifted her baby to her chest and walked with a bounce attempting to calm her. "I'm sorry, baby girl. I'll never do that again," she cried._

_Her legs shook beneath her, and her chest tightened in fear_. What if someone found her to be an unfit mother?

_The knocking continued, but she didn't want to face the person on the other side of the door. She didn't want him to know what an awful mother she was. Less than a minute later, a key turned in the lock, and Billy stepped inside._

_He stood in the doorway, chest rising and falling with each worried breath. Neither of them said a word. He went straight to the kitchen and prepared a bottle with the precision of someone with experience. With a bottle in one hand, he held his arms out for Katie._

_With reluctance, Bridget handed her over to his open arms. She felt inadequate in every way._ How could she get so carried away that she didn't even hear her own baby?

_She followed Billy to the couch, sitting on the opposite end from where he sat holding Katie. His eyes never leaving her daughter's as he whispered sweet words. Within minutes, her crying turned to whimpers until she finally fell asleep._

_"Bridget?" Lost in self-loathing, she startled at the sound of Billy's voice. "I'm here for you. It's all right to ask for help." He was so sincere. She didn't dare tell him the truth. Instead, she let him pull her into his chest, allowing her to soak up the physical affection he gave her. As she looked at her daughter in his arms, Bridget swore she'd always put her daughter first. Katie was more important than her makebelieve stories._

* * *

The tap tap tap of her fingers touching the keys had become a familiar sound that brought a smile to her face. She entered her password and clicked on her current document. She had been working on this idea for weeks. Each day, her excitement grew. Every free moment was spent working on her book idea. She had forgotten how much she loved creating, but the one thing Bridget didn't expect was to find herself.

For the first time in her life, Bridget saw who she was and what she wanted. The past eighteen years she'd lost herself in motherhood and work. Often times, she was just surviving. This was the first time she was doing something for herself, and it was exciting and terrifying.

She plugged in her headphones and turned on writing music to help escape into the world she created.

Bridget was so lost in her story she hadn't heard the knock at the door, but she definitely felt his warm, soft kiss to her temple. She didn't have to look to know it was _him_. There was only one man who smelled that good.

_Billy_.

Up until recently, he'd rarely been physical with her. But the last few weeks had been different.

It started with a hand squeeze or an arm around her shoulders as they discussed Katie's impending absence. Then yesterday, he held her in his arms and stroked her cheek as she cried on his shoulder. His tenderness and willingness to be a support to her only reminded her of how much she needed him in her life.

But he'd never kissed her. She tried not to read anything into it. He was just being Billy, but she couldn't help the small spark of hope that one day he'd love her the way she loved him.

Her gaze lifted to a view she wished she could wake up to every morning. Billy sat on his haunches in front of her; his face mere inches away. She smelled coffee on his breath and wished she could taste it too.

Not ready to share her writing yet, she yanked off her headphones and closed her computer screen.

When he picked up her computer and placed it on the coffee table, she gave him a tired grin. He turned back and brushed her curls out of her face with his warm fingers. She moaned softly as a wave of heat spread through her, leaving a flushed face and a fluttery heart in its wake. Doing her best to pass it off as an _I'm really tired_ groan, she stretched her arms above her head and yawned.

He chuckled under his breath. "Good morning," he whispered, not wanting to wake up Katie. "You're up early. Again."

"Yeah." She lifted her head to look around to confirm Katie was still in bed, or at least in her room. She slid over to give him a place to sit and leaned against him once he took the spot. His left hand held his mug as his right arm wrapped lightly around her shoulders. She suppressed another moan when he ran his fingers through her messy hair.

"How long have you been awake?" he asked, seemingly unaware of her reaction to his touch.

She sat up to peek over her shoulder at the kitchen clock. "A couple hours." When she turned back, his face—his lips—were right there. He was close enough she could see tiny blue specs in his gray eyes. Her breath caught when she realized he was gazing at her with an expression she wasn't familiar with. His lips parted as if they were an open invitation. It was wishful thinking on her part, so she turned away, allowing her hair to fall between them and block her view. He tucked the wild strands behind her ear, thwarting her attempt to hide. He gave her an apologetic smile before pulling her close, letting her snuggle against his shoulder.

"You need to sleep. Please let me call someone to take your shift."

"I'm okay. I wouldn't be able to sleep, and I need to keep myself busy." They talked enough about Katie leaving that she was sure he understood why.

They sat in silence, sipping their coffee.

Today, she had to say goodbye to her baby girl, the hardest thing she would ever experience. Not just because Katie was her only family, but because she was the reason he was still here.

_Will he be leaving now?_

_Will he sell the diner?_

_Will he get on with his life somewhere else, with someone else?_

A tap on her forehead from Billy's index finger startled her out of her never-ending spiral. "Stop thinking so hard."

"What am I going to do, Billy?" She nearly choked on the words. Now that she had an idea of what she wanted to do for a career, it left her personal life glaringly empty. She wanted him, but he wasn't an option.

"Anything you want." He shrugged, making it sound so easy.

She growled in frustration. "We need to talk about some things." Her voice broke at the end. She loved Billy so much that it frightened her. Losing him would be devastating.

He looked away from her. "You're right, we do."

Her thoughts automatically jumped to the worst-case scenario.

_Him leaving._

He had to be tired of taking care of her. She couldn't blame him. She felt guilty for taking up so much of his life.

"We do?" Swallowing hard, she concentrated on trying to fill her lungs with air. They didn't seem to hold as much as they usually did. Whatever he had to say, she wanted him to get it over with, like ripping off a Band-Aid.

He cradled her face in his hands and forced her to meet his eyes. The caress of his thumbs on the underside of her jaw calmed and stunned her in equal measure. "Yes."

The expression on his face was gentle, so very Billy; it broke her heart. He'd never intentionally hurt her. No matter how painful his words were, she'd be strong. She loved him too much to hold him back any longer.

A voice still thick with sleep interrupted them. "Do I smell coffee? Is Billy here?"

Katie staggered out, stretching. "Good morning, you two."

Billy pulled Bridget closer and briefly touched her forehead with his own. "Let's talk later." She nodded but knew she would be carrying the weight of sick anticipation in her stomach all day.

Releasing her, Billy looked over his shoulder and grinned. "Good morning, Sweets."
Chapter Five

# July 1995

## Billy

Billy gripped the steering wheel of his deceased father's 1980 Chevy pickup. His hands clenched so tight, his knuckles turned white. "I can't do this," he repeated to himself as he stared at the back of his family's diner—more accurately, his diner, as of a month ago. It was his, whether he wanted it or not.

Each intake of breath became more difficult than the last. He leaned his head against the back of his hands clutching the steering wheel. Frustrated cries escaped his throat. Suddenly the cab felt like it was closing in on him. He rolled down the window and stuck his head out. The heat of the day pulled the last of the cool air out of the pickup.

"Why? Why are they making me do this?" His parents died a month ago, and it still felt like a horrible dream. Along with his new unwanted responsibilities.

He looked at the diner, noticing the minor changes his parents made in the past couple years. It looked the same as it did twenty years ago, except the fresh coat of paint and new exterior doors. It had a 1950's feel. Red booths hugged the wall along the front windows, and red stools lined the long bar. Black and white checkered tiles covered the floor in the dining area, and in the corner was an old jukebox that played music from the 1950's and 60's.

As a young boy, he'd loved the responsibility of working in the diner and making his parents proud. He happily learned every aspect of the business, but by high school, he resented it. When his friends were coming home from partying, he was just getting up for work.

It was the two-year mark of his European escape when he received the call.

He could still smell the sweaty bodies of nine other occupants of the hostel in Madrid. He also remembered the feel of soft breasts against his chest and long slender thighs tangled with his own.

"Freja." He ached for her. She was everything he needed. Her soft body and beautiful face might have drawn him in, but she was smart, funny, and had a wonderful sense of adventure. She was a one-night stand turned into a month long affair.

* * *

_A firm hand nudged his shoulder. Billy drowsily lifted both lids to see a scruffy, bearded man leaning over him and Freja. In a thick accent he asked, "Billy Hall? You Billy Hall?"_

_His voice too tired to answer, he nodded._

_Using broken English the bearded man said, "Phone for you. Emergency from America."_

_Billy glanced at the clock hanging over the door and tried to do the math in his head._

_His parents were always too tired to call after 9:00 PM._

_He slid out from beneath Freja, making sure to cover her barely clothed body. Not that she cared, but he didn't want the other men in the room to ogle her. "I'll be right back," he whispered in her ear._

_"I'll keep your spot warm." With her eyes still closed, she gave him a sleepy smile._

_He kissed her forehead and followed the gentleman to the lobby. The man stepped behind the counter and handed over the receiver._

_Minutes later, Billy hung up the phone with Diane, his family's longtime friend and employee. "It can't be true."_

_Billy inhaled deeply, but he couldn't seem to get enough oxygen. He bent over, gripping his knees, trying to hold himself up. "They can't be gone."_

_A comforting hand rubbed his back then slowly curved around, holding him. Freja placed warm kisses on his back and leaned over to ask, "Are you okay?"_

_He needed her and her touch. Turning around, he pulled her into his arms. It wasn't until she wiped at his eyes that he realized he was crying._

_"Please tell me what's wrong." Her voice was low and calm. Her touch and her steady breaths soothed him until he was able to breathe easier._

_He could barely process Diane's words, let alone give voice to his nightmare. "They were in a car accident...they didn't make it, Billy." The sound of her sobs still rang in his ears._

_Every part of his body wanted to reject it. There must have been a mistake. He didn't just lose his family._

_Freja released her hold on him and placed her hands on his face. She looked into his eyes, but he gave her nothing. Finally, her hands slid down until they reached his. She pulled him toward the showers and left him alone just long enough to grab their things. With the door locked behind her, she turned her attention to him._

_Silently, she undressed him and herself before pulling them under the warm spray. They showered together since the first night they met, but this wasn't like those times. It wasn't sexual. She loved and cared for him, taking her time washing his hair and body. Every touch was a comfort to him._

_He finally broke the silence. "My parents died." His legs shook until he could no longer hold himself up. He slid down the shower wall, leaning his head back._

_"Oh, Billy." Freja knelt in front of him, wiping the water off his face and sliding her hands through his hair._

_"I need you." He pulled her onto his lap and buried his head in her neck. He cried while she held tight and kissed the top of his head._

_Carefully lifting herself off of him, she turned off the water and grabbed his towel to dry him off. He dressed while she pulled on her cotton shorts and tank._

_Never leaving his side, she made his travel arrangements and took a taxi with him to the airport._

_They sat in silence, waiting for his flight to be called. She held his hand, rubbed his back, and comforted him with just her presence._

_She nudged him when his flight was called. He looked at her puzzled. "Billy, that's your flight." She pointed to the long line of people waiting to board._

_She pulled him up and walked him to the back of the line, never letting go of his hand until he handed over his ticket to the agent. He kissed her cheek, and she gave a small wave goodbye._

_Hours later, he wished he had told her that she meant more than a fling. She was so much more._

_Diane met him at the airport, and unlike Freja, she talked nonstop between gasping cries about funeral arrangements they needed to make._

* * *

From the moment he'd landed until today, he didn't allow himself to grieve. Too many things needed his attention. Reality was hitting him square in the chest. They were gone. Just like that. No longer able to hold back the tide, tears streamed down his face as an agonizing cry escaped his lips. Billy never imagined he wouldn't have a chance to see his parents again. He would never hear his dad chat up customers or see his mom in the corner booth going over the books while she listened to the local gossip.

Every moment he took for granted hit him in the chest, making it difficult to breathe. He pulled at his tie trying to loosen it but ended up pulling it off, throwing it across the cab. His hands shook as he attempted to undo the buttons of his dress shirt, but in his distress, he pulled on the collar, popping off the top two buttons.

Still, it wasn't enough.

Billy opened the truck door to get out just as the back door to the diner opened and out stepped Paul, the high school senior he'd hired to wash dishes. Paul smiled and waved at Billy before dropping to the covered back steps. He pulled out a well-worn paperback, folding one side behind the other.

It was the quiet time right before the dinner rush. Any minute now, Chuck, the cook, would step out for his cigarette break. Not a moment later, the door hit Paul in the back. He jumped up, making room for Chuck to step out and light up. Billy kept the truck idling, wishing more than anything he would have the guts to just leave, run away, but this time never look back.

In no mood for small talk, he stayed in the truck until Chuck and Paul were back inside. As Billy stepped through the back door, the smell of hamburgers and fries hit him before the heat of the kitchen. He quickly walked through the kitchen, nodding to the employees as he passed, hoping to make it to the office before Diane caught him.

She had taken it upon herself to become his surrogate mother/busy body. He knew she loved him and worried, but after two years of freedom, the diner and she were similar to a noose around his neck.

He was only steps away from his office when her voice rang out, stopping him in his tracks. "Billy! You're back. How did it go?" Diane shouted while cutting him off at the door. She was wearing the same pink uniform with white apron and sneakers that she'd worn for the past twenty years. Her light brown hair was up in its usual ponytail. Her bright blue eyes watched him closely, impatiently waiting to hear what could affect her future.

After spending over an hour discussing issues with his parents' Will and getting bad news from his attorney, he was in no mood for her.

Billy walked past her into the office, shrugging off his suit coat and laying it on the back of his chair. The old chair swiveled and creaked under his weight.

She sat across from him, leaning forward in her chair, with her eyes wide and focused on him, as she tried to read his expressions. A long sigh escaped his lips. "There is no way around it. I can't sell the diner for five years."

A small smile crossed her lips, as well as a sigh of relief. "I don't understand why you would want to anyway. This is your parents' legacy. They loved this place. You grew up here." When he first arrived home, he told her he was going to sell, and she had made her displeasure perfectly clear. Multiple times.

She had been his age when she started working here. This place meant as much to her as it had to his parents.

"I don't understand why they would put it in their Will. They knew I didn't want it." Slumping back in his chair, he rubbed his face with his hands until he realized it was too quiet, especially with Diane in the room. He dragged his hands down his face until he could see her. She sat back in her chair, visibly angry and shaking her head.

"You want to know why?" She didn't wait for him to answer. "Your parents hoped that if anything happened to them that you would have something to ground you, give you stability at a time they knew it would be the most difficult for you.

"You've been wandering for a long time, looking for who knows what, but your parents knew something you don't; home is where you find yourself. It's time you settle yourself long enough to figure it out."

Her words penetrated him like arrows through the heart. He hated to admit it, but she was right. He just didn't want her to be.

Lost in thought, he failed to notice her get up to leave. She snapped her fingers in front of his face and smirked. "We're smarter than you think, kid." She swiftly turned and walked out of the office, shutting the door behind her.

"Five years," he muttered. "I can do it for five years. Maybe they're right; maybe I'll find what I'm looking for."

Billy dragged himself out of the office and exited the back of the diner to run up the stairs that lead to the studio apartment. He lived there with his parents for a year before they were doing well enough to buy a home a mile away. Now he left spare clothes there, just in case, and occasionally still used it when he needed a break between shifts.

Fifteen minutes later, he descended the steps in a T-shirt and jeans, ready to start the dinner shift.
Chapter Six

# July 4, 1995

## Bridget

"Finally!" She'd spent the last thirty minutes sitting on a crowded bus without air conditioning, making it at least ten degrees hotter on the bus than the already sweltering late afternoon temperature.

The smile Bridget wore most of the day thinking about Phillip melted from the heat. Her tank top stuck to her damp skin and her feet slid in her cheap flip-flops. The hour spent putting on makeup exactly how Tiffany had shown her was a total waste. It was wiped off within the first fifteen minutes of her bus ride along with streams of sweat.

Today was the first time she debated calling Phillip for a ride, but her dad didn't know she was dating anyone let alone a sophomore in college. Bridget took the bus rather than risk either one finding out about the other. She was so going to hear it from Phillip. He hated that she took public transportation, especially when he had a car and time. They'd been seeing each other for five weeks, and he still had no clue where she lived. Outside of his apartment, her work was the only place they met.

When Bridget reached his parents' house, she scanned the street and noticed the lack of cars. Bridget could have sworn Phillip said he was throwing a Fourth of July party. His parents were out of town, so he had the backyard pool to himself.

Next to Phillip's parents' house was a detached garage with a small apartment above, where he lived during the summer.

Bridget loved it. It became their sanctuary from his parents and her dad. Their time spent together, cooking, watching movies, and just hanging out was her favorite. She imagined moving in with him and it being theirs. Nothing could be sweeter than living with someone who cared for and loved her.

Bridget lifted the bottom of her shirt to wipe the streams of sweat from her forehead. By the time she reached the landing at the top of the stairs, the butterflies in her belly had taken flight. Just picturing him made her heart race. It had been four weeks since Phillip introduced Bridget to his friends as his 'girlfriend'.

_Her first boyfriend._

_Sigh._

Unable to hold back a smile, she tapped on the door, but no answer. His car was parked in the driveway, so he had to be here. The butterflies in her belly were now rioting; she needed to see him. She knocked again, before opening the door.

Phillip stood in front of the open fridge, pulling out a six-pack of beer. When he set it on the counter, he noticed her standing in the doorway.

"You're here." His face lit up. Before she could say a word, he lifted her up and planted tiny kisses all over her face until he reached her lips.

_His kisses...oh, Lord._

She dangled in his arms as their mouths got reacquainted. At six-four, he literally was a foot taller. For their mouths to meet, he either picked her up so their faces met, or he sat her on his lap. He preferred the lap. As long as he held her, she didn't care.

"Bri, baby, I've missed you."

The heavy beat of her heart was Bridget falling deliriously in love with him. More than the day before.

Never breaking the kiss, he carried her to the counter. Standing between her thighs, he leaned his forehead against hers. "Two days is too long. Let's not do that again." She couldn't agree more. Yesterday they had to work different shifts, making it impossible to see each other.

He never took his hand off her as he drank a beer and listened to her talk about her morning. His gentle caresses on her legs gave her the warm fuzzies. When he went in for a kiss, Bridget scrunched her nose at the smell of beer breath. "Eww." The one thing she didn't like.

"Serious?" She nodded as he rolled his eyes and popped a few breath mints into his mouth. "Better?"

She leaned in and sniffed his breath. "Much," she said with a giggle.

"Good." Gripping her hips, he pulled her close and planted a delicious kiss on her mouth. It quickly escalated, as it usually did when they were alone. Their tongues tangled as her fingers tightened their hold on his shirt. A warm tingle spread from her lips to her toes.

Phillip's strong hands slid under her shirt, touching her bare skin, slowly stroking her from hip to just under her bikini top. Every touch was gentle and loving; his kisses passionate. Just a look melted her from the inside out. He loved her, and she couldn't get enough of him. It made leaving every night nearly impossible.

She made her own trail with kisses from his muscled chest to his full lips. "So who's coming tonight?" she asked between kisses. The two six packs of beer on the counter clearly weren't enough for a party. Not with his number of friends.

"It's just you and me." He kissed the tip of her nose. "And Shawn and Tiffany."

"I thought I saw her car. Where is she?"

He smirked and tilted his head toward the bedroom.

"Oh..." Her breath caught. Bridget and Tiffany barely saw each other these days. Every free moment Bridget had, she spent with Phillip.

"Yeah. They've been in there for a while."

"They're...you know? Doing that here?" Bridget shook her head at her naivety.

"Having sex?"

She cringed at the way he teased her. So far, they'd avoided the elephant in the room. But not for much longer. There was practically a fluorescent sign hanging over his bedroom door blinking S-E-X.

Phillip swore he'd wait for her, but every time they were together, he pushed her boundaries a little further. Most nights she left with him begging her to stay. It was never easy saying no.

Phillip expressed his love through constant touches. He'd kiss her while he told her how much he cared for her and always wanted her with him. The words filled the empty places that her mother's death left behind.

A squeal and a giggle came from the bedroom. Moments later, Shawn and Tiffany fell into the room. Their clothes rumpled and faces flushed. Her friend giggled again and walked on unsteady feet. Tiffany had been drinking by evidence of the half-empty bottle in her hand.

"You better have changed the sheets," Phillip warned.

"Yeah. Yeah. Don't worry," Shawn reassured.

"Happy birthday, chica!" Tiffany pulled Bridget off the counter and wrapped her arms around Bridget. Tiffany's breath reeked of alcohol.

"It's your birthday?" Phillip took a hold of her arms, keeping Tiffany from toppling them.

"It was yesterday." Bridget avoided Phillip's gaze. Her birthday wasn't the same without her mom, and she wanted just to forget about it.

Up until Bridget's mother died, every year they would have a party with all her friends. This year, her dad left a card on the counter with a one hundred dollar bill stuffed inside.

He forgot to sign the card.

The day was like any other. Bridget slept in, avoided her dad, and went to work. By the time she returned home, he was in bed.

"Why didn't you say something? Did you celebrate without me?" Phillip stared down with furrowed brows, waiting for her answer. It gave her a slight thrill to see him upset over a nonexistent invite for a nonexistent party.

"You didn't miss anything. I worked, and that was about it. It was no big deal."

He pulled her away from Tiffany's drunken arms and held her tightly.

"It is a big deal. Birthdays are for celebrating. I could have come over or something. I still haven't met your dad."

Bridget shared just enough about her dad to keep Phillip from digging deeper. She lived at home, and her father was strict. Both true. Phillip teased her about her high school curfew. She would smile at his jokes, but each time, the knot in her stomach grew.

"You're ashamed of me, aren't you?" Phillip teased. "I bet I can charm him. Come on. You've met my dad. He can't be worse than him."

Tiffany sipped on her beer. "I've met, and I can assure you, he is. He doesn't give a rip about her."

Tiffany's honest response punched Bridget in the gut once again. It hurt knowing it, but it was worse hearing it from her best friend.

The look Phillip gave Bridget was a mix of pity and understanding. Bridget averted her eyes away from the group. "I'm sorry, Bridget. You deserve better," he reassured her. "I just thought it would be good to meet him since we're together, and I have no plans of changing that. I hope you don't either."

She smiled. "Nope. I like us."

"Good." He pulled her back into his arms and leaned down to kiss her when Tiffany drunkenly yelled, "Eww."

"Come here, Tiff. Let's show them how it's done." Shawn sat down on the couch, pulling her onto his lap.

Phillip and Bridget turned away from the Tiffany and Shawn show.

"Bri, is he really worse than my dad?"

"Not worse...just different. I think he likes to pretend I don't exist."

Silence hung between them before he replied, "I wouldn't mind that sometimes."

Bridget understood what he meant. A few weeks after they met, she'd been introduced to his parents.

* * *

_"Nice to meet you, Bridget." His mother, Laura, smiled at her over the full table. Bridget and Phillip had just walked in the door. His parents sat at the dining room table, waiting for her to sit._

_"I'm sorry I'm late." Her voice shook with nerves. Bridget left on time, but the bus she rode broke down and she had to wait fifteen minutes for the next bus to arrive, causing her to be a few minutes late._

_Phillip's dad grumbled under his breath. She couldn't understand him, but Phillip did. His hand tightened around her, and his jaw clenched._

_His mother nodded sweetly, but her eyes turned to his father, who scowled as if the five extra minutes ruined his day._

_"It's okay, dear. It happens." His mother forced another smile in Bridget's direction but kept her eyes on her husband._

_Not five minutes into dinner, his dad complained about losing money from not renting the apartment where Phillip lived. Phillip tried to explain he was saving up for the next term, but his father angrily shot back, "That's no excuse! It's not like you're actually learning anything. You got in because of a sport's scholarship. You don't have to be a brainiac to get one of those. You'll be lucky to graduate before you get injured." Phillip's dad stuffed his face between insults, never taking his eyes off of Phillip._

_For once, she believed she got off easy with her dad._

_Phillip never responded. In fact, he didn't say another word until dinner was over, and he excused himself from the table._

_He left her behind as he stalked out. Bridget sat stunned at the table until his dad pushed away and left in the opposite direction. "Why don't you go check on him?" Phillip's mother said as she picked up dirty dishes._

_"Are you sure? I can help."_

_"No. Go on." This time, his mom didn't fake a smile._

_Phillip stood at the entrance to his apartment and waited for her to follow him inside. The second the door shut behind them, he pushed her up against the wall and kissed her. Not their usual kisses. It wasn't gentle. There was no build up. It was intense and full of need and desire. His hands slid under her top, and his fingers tightened around the hem of her shirt. She held her arms down, keeping him from pulling it off._

_He groaned in her mouth before pulling his lips away. "Please, Bri. I need this."_

_She stood motionless, taking in deep breaths. The agonizing look on Phillip's face tortured her. She wanted to make him feel better._

_She pushed him away just enough to pull her shirt over her head._

_His breaths grew heavy as his hands slid up her stomach and around her back to undo her bra._

_Self-conscious, she covered her breasts with her hands. She'd never been topless in front of a boy. He pulled her hands away and held them at her side. "Let me look at you."_

_His eyes made a scorching trail from her mouth to her breasts followed by his lips. Her heart raced with insecurity. This was further than she wanted to go, but he needed her. When Phillip kissed her, the burn in her lower belly left her speechless and moaning. Her fear wanted to push him away. But, as the kiss progressed, her body needed him closer._

_He let go of her wrists to pull her hips to him. She held on to his shoulders as he pushed himself against her belly. Nobody told her that she could be turned on and terrified at the same time. Her mother hadn't talked to her about sex or what to expect, and there had been no reason to ask questions._

_Her hands covered his when he pulled on the button of her jean shorts. That was too far. When she looked into his face, she wasn't sure he actually saw her. He needed something or someone to take away the hurt._

_"I can't. I'm sorry." Afraid of losing him, she was on the verge of crying._

_"Please," he begged. "Please, Bri."_

_When she didn't respond, he sighed and stepped away. Scared to touch him, her hands dropped to her sides. She stood uncertain, fighting with herself. Bridget wanted to comfort him and give him what he needed, but she wasn't ready for sex._

_He picked up her shirt and bra and handed them to her before he shut himself in his bedroom._

_She quickly redressed and knocked on his door. When he didn't respond, she debated whether to leave or try to talk to him. She decided on the latter._

_He lay on the bed, his arms covering his eyes. With a pained voice he cried, "My dad hates me." Knowing the pain of rejection, her heart hurt for him._

_She lay silently next to him. He was her cure, and she wanted to be his._

_"You heard him. He doesn't think I'll finish school."_

_She turned toward Phillip and placed her hands on his face. "Look at me." His eyes widen as he stared into hers. "You are kind, smart, and...wonderful." Her voice broke. She didn't have the vocabulary to describe what he was to her. He rolled on top of her and kissed her sweetly on the lips before scooting down to lay his head on her chest._

_She ran her fingers through his hair as she tried to comfort him. "What your dad said isn't true, Phillip. Don't believe him. You're going to be an amazing lawyer one day."_

_He tightened his hold around her waist. "Bri?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"Stay with me tonight." His voice was barely audible._

_"I'll stay as long as I can," she whispered._

_"I always want you here with me." Unable to speak, Bridget nodded and kissed the top of his head. That was her dream. She gently stroked his face and back until light snores escaped his lips._

* * *

That night she got home well after curfew. Her dad grounded her for a week, but she managed to see Phillip every night after work.

Phillip pulled her back from the memory with a question she didn't want to answer. "Nineteen?"

"Yup. Nineteen," Tiffany blurted across the room, saving Bridget from having to lie.

Tiffany smiled and winked. She had no problem lying. She'd been doing it for months with Shawn, but it wasn't as easy for Bridget.

"It's crazy. Some days you barely look sixteen. I'm totally robbing the cradle," Phillip joked. Bridget forced a smile. "I get that a lot," she said, hating herself a little more.

"I'm starving!" a mostly quiet Shawn yelled from the other side of the room.

"Bridge and I will make the salads, and you boys deal with the meat."

"Oh, I've got meat. I've got it right here," Shawn teased. Tiffany rolled her eyes while laughing. They were a perfectly perverted match.

"Your blush kills me, Bri."

"Get moving. Shawn's hungry." Bridget shoved Phillip toward the door. "We'll meet you by the pool when we're done here."

Phillip patted her butt before leaving.

Just as the door closed, Tiffany proudly stated, "I saved your ass back there." She had, but then again, the frat party had been her idea. "God! Can you imagine what your dad would do if he found out about Phillip?"

Bridget imagined every scenario and none of them turned out well. She let the worry go as she concentrated on the happy feelings she had when she was with him.

Dinner conversation was Shawn and Tiffany exchanging sexual innuendoes. Occasionally, Phillip joined. It became a game of _Who can make Bridget blush the most._

Tiffany won. Hands down.

After dinner, they kept cool by lounging in the pool while they waited for the fireworks to start.

At some point, Shawn and Tiffany disappeared, and Bridget didn't care. She was enjoying her Phillip and Bridget bubble. Life was perfect. If only it stayed that way. It was a rare moment when she didn't worry about his discovering the truth or what was going to happen in the next few months. It was just him and her.

When the sun went down, Bridget leaned her head back and focused her eyes on the explosions happening in the sky.

Phillip swam up to her, and she happily let him block her into a corner. He left soft kisses on her lips and neck, getting closer with each one. She wrapped her legs around his waist, forcing their bodies closer. Her hands wrapped around his neck, and she pressed her breasts against his muscled chest. He moaned when she unconsciously rubbed against him.

She ached for him and, for the first time, didn't want to stop.

The intensity of their kisses grew until she cried in frustration. Bridget needed him closer. His hands went to work on the ties of her top, pulling it off and throwing it a few feet from the pool. Terrified of getting caught without it, she let go of him and tried to reach for it, but he pulled her back into his arms.

"Nobody can see you. Shawn and Tiffany left, and it's too dark for the neighbors to see."

She looked around, but his lips pulled her back. Her fear dissipated with every kiss.

He hardened and rubbed against her. "I need more," she cried.

Phillip's hands slid under her bikini bottoms. Her soft moans encouraged him. She undulated against his hand, building and building until she cried out.

"We need to get out of here." At this point, she'd do anything and go anywhere with him. She was his.

She held onto him a moment longer to catch her breath.

"Come on, baby." He lifted her up and sat her on the edge of the pool. Never taking his eyes off of her, he lifted himself out.

Her eyes followed the droplets of water descending his muscled chest toward the trail that led to his tented swim trunks.

She couldn't pull her eyes away even after he caught her staring.

"Like what you see?" His brow rose with a barely contained smirk. He seemed just as affected by her as she was by him.

He found her a towel and grudgingly wrapped it around her shoulders. She took his offered hand and picked up her top as they walked to the stairs leading to his apartment.

For a second, she thought he was about to go caveman and lift her over his shoulder. Instead, he picked her up and placed her on the second step so their mouths met perfectly. He kissed her, sliding a hand under her towel, palming her breast as their kisses became frantic.

Breathless, she gripped the towel tighter around her chest afraid someone on the street might see her.

"You're gorgeous. You know that?" She shook her head in disbelief. He was the gorgeous one. "I'm never going to get tired of that blush."

Once again, he took her hand and led her up the stairs. Each step grew more difficult. This was it. Bridget loved Phillip and wanted to share this with him.

The moment the door closed behind them, she bravely dropped the towel. Feeling a confidence she didn't know she had, she stepped closer and slid her hands up his chest until they were in his hair. Their lips met, and that was all it took. Phillip placed his hand on her ass and lifted her up until her legs wrapped around him again.

"Oh God. Bri. I've dreamt of this." His words flamed the ache in her lower belly. Phillip wanted her, and that was all she needed.

He stiffly walked them into his bedroom, shutting the door with his foot. When he reached the bed, he gently laid her down, covering her body with his.

"Bri? I know you don't have a lot of experience, but have you...?"

She shook her head. He leaned his forehead against hers and took a deep breath. "I've never been with a virgin. I'll try not to hurt you."

She had never asked and, honestly, didn't want to know about the girls he had sex with in the past. But, at that moment, her imagination took off. All she could see was a line of beautiful women throwing themselves at him. Her stomach knotted as she tried to push the images away.

Bridget placed her hands around Phillip's neck, pulling him closer to kiss him. "I trust you." She needed him to push the thoughts out of her head.

Between kisses he whispered, "I need you."

"You can have me." He already did. He owned her heart and now her body, too.

His lips left a trail of marks on her breasts, stomach, and inner thighs. His fingers nimbly untied the strings of her bikini bottom.

When he lifted himself up to take off his swim trunks, his eyes glazed over as they trailed from her head to her toes. He pushed his shorts down, and a moment later he was on top of her, taking her breath away.

"I can't believe you're giving this to me. I love you, Bri. So fucking much."

"You do?" She'd never get tired of hearing it. He loved her, and what they were about to do was only going to make them closer.

"Of course, baby. I've never loved any one as much as you."
Chapter Seven

# August 6:00 AM

## Billy

Katie stretched her arms high above her head and yawned loudly. Billy shook his head to clear the vision of her as a chubby three-year-old doing the exact same thing in the doorway of his office.

"UGH! It's earrrrrrrrrly." Katie pulled a ponytail holder off her wrist, twisting her hair until it was in a messy bun on top of her head.

Bridget muffled a giggle by leaning her head against his chest. He thought for sure his heart would stop. There were days he couldn't be close enough to her; today was one of those days.

Katie leaned over the back of the couch, kissing his cheek and the top of her mother's head before she readjusted her glasses. If it weren't for her bright blue eyes and obvious lousy eyesight, Katie could be a replica of her mother. He had seen those eyes before on a man he'd chosen to forget.

He leaned forward, picking up Katie's mug and passing it behind him. "Thank you, Billy." She had taken a sip before she swatted at him. "Scootch over you two." Katie climbed over the couch, forcing them to make room for her, but allowing him to sit between them.

Both leaned against his shoulders in unison. His heart swelled with love and affection for his girls. The woman he wished was his daughter, and the one he wished was his wife. He forced down the words he really wanted to say and cleared his throat. "There's only one maple bar, so you'll have to fight for it."

Both lifted their heads at the same time, staring each other down. He laughed, knowing he might be risking someone's life by bringing only one.

They pushed off of him, reaching for the one thing they'd never share. You don't get between a maple bar and a Larson girl. You just don't.

Katie reached it a second before Bridget and took a large bite while simultaneously giving Bridget a huge grin as she triumphantly bounced back on the couch and reclaimed her spot next to Billy.

With a full mouth, she garbled the words, "You're the best Dad ever." Spitting out bits of donut as she spoke. He wasn't sure if she realized what she just said but based on her stiffened spine, Bridget did. From the corner of his eye, he saw her focused stare and white knuckles as she gripped her mug. He ran a hand along her arm until she relaxed back against his chest.

Her response to Katie's comment worried him. He could be making a huge mistake by sharing his feelings with her.

He attempted to distract himself by focusing on the dinosaur that Bridget called a laptop. His curiosity was killing him. What had she been doing when he walked in? In recent weeks, he'd found her typing away, but every time he came near, she'd shut it down or click off of the page. Her secret made him crazy with worry.

His imagination went to the worst-case scenario; she was looking for a new job and a place to live. He hoped she'd talk to him before making life-changing decisions. Billy knew he couldn't handle another one right now.

Katie chatted away in between bites, oblivious to the turmoil going on in his head and heart. They were going to have to say goodbye in a few short hours, and he wasn't ready.

When Katie picked an out-of-state college, she admitted to Billy she applied only to schools far enough away that she'd have to fly. Even though he hated the idea of her going so far, he supported her decision. It was time for Bridget to cut the apron strings, and it wouldn't happen any other way.

Katie had been Bridget's whole life for the past eighteen years. He'd never say this to Bridget, but it wasn't a secret she used Katie as an excuse not to move relationships to 'the next level.'

Whatever happened between Phillip and her still affected her today. Billy had pieced together snippets of what she'd said to know Phillip hurt her, and that was reason enough to hate the man.

Billy looked at Bridget, taking in every inch of her. Her hair, always a little wild in the morning, was thick and wavy, stretching halfway down her back. He loved running his fingers through it but always did it cautiously, not wanting to make her uncomfortable.

She wore a pale blue tank top and tiny, pink sleep shorts that showed off every amazing curve. Countless Sunday mornings he'd seen her wear these pajamas, and it never got old. How many nights had he stayed awake with the image of her in this outfit? How many times had he dreamt of taking it off of her?

Bridget sniffed, pulling him out of his daydream. She lifted the bottom of her shirt, exposing the soft skin of her belly and wiped away her tears. The room grew quiet, except for the muffled kitchen noise of the diner below. Katie reached around Billy and linked her fingers with her mother's. They held onto each other, sensing the weight of the day. Nothing would be the same.
Chapter Eight

# August 1995

## Bridget

Tiffany pulled her long, red hair into a low ponytail and leaned into Bridget. "Honest to God, I thought if we ended up here, it would've been because of me," she whispered.

She wasn't the only one. How did straight A Bridget, the girl who had always followed the rules, end up here?

They stood in front of the display in aisle four. Tiffany's eyes kept straying to the left, where the display of condoms stood proudly while Bridget stared at the only test she wanted to fail.

"Which one should I pick?" Bridget asked with a slight tremor in her voice. Fear twisted in her belly. She didn't need to take a pregnancy test. She already knew.

Her hands shook as she examined two different brands, as if she had a clue what to look for.

Weeks ago, she hoped her period was just a little late, but as of today...nothing. Her nose sensitivity ramped up, and this morning the nausea and vomiting started.

"Maybe it's just the flu," she said for the third time since they walked in.

Tiffany gave her a half smile. "Yeah. Maybe." She didn't sound convincing.

Bridget looked to the front of the store with its lone cashier. A girl from school. They sat across from each other in Literature last year.

"Oh God. Why couldn't it be an old lady working here? If she sees me, it'll be all over school." The last thing Bridget needed was to start her junior year as the girl who was knocked up.

"I'll buy it. She'll expect it from me."

With a death grip, she held onto the test, ignoring Tiffany's open hand. "You don't have to do that." Bridget's stomach churned. She covered her mouth with one hand and held the tests in her other.

"Are you going to barf? That is so gross."

Bridget closed her eyes and nodded, but the action made the nausea worse. It was touch and go for a few minutes, but she was able to hold back the tide.

With sweaty palms, she made her way to the cashier, stopping once to pick up saltines. "Let's just get this over with." It wasn't going to matter if the girl from school saw her. In a few months, everyone would know.

"Next," the girl announced with as much enthusiasm of someone who was being sentenced to death. She hadn't looked at the two previous customers. Bridget could only hope to have the same luck.

Bridget placed the tests and crackers on the counter and dug her wallet out of her purse. With a bored voice, the cashier gave her the total and dropped the tests in the bag. When she handed it to Bridget, she did a double take.

_Shit._

The cashier's eyes widened and her jaw dropped right before a smirk crossed her face. The girl looked at her and mouthed, "Slut."

Bridget blanched at the viciousness.

Tiffany was about to go 'Tiffany' all over the girl, so Bridget dropped some cash on the counter and pulled her toward the door before she could cause a scene.

"You forgot something." The girl held the box of crackers in her hand with a smug look on her face.

For a moment, Bridget debated whether to just keep walking out or get her crackers. Her stomach did another roll. She hurried back, snatching the crackers out of the girl's hands.

"You're welcome." Bridget took Tiffany's hand before she could make another attempt to... Bridget wasn't sure what Tiffany would do. She suspected there might have been some hair pulling and eye scratching involved. As much as she didn't like Tiffany some days, today, she loved her guts. If it turned out that she was pregnant, at least Bridget had Tiffany by her side.

During the ride home, Tiffany made horrible attempts to keep things positive. "This could have happened to anyone, including that bitch at the pharmacy. We both know it could've been me." Tiffany sighed with relief. "Thank God it's not," she said under her breath. "My parents would go ape shit."

That's when it hit her. "My dad..."

"I know!" Tiffany made a full body shiver.

There went any chance of winning her father over.

"Don't freak out yet. We don't know for sure."

_Yet._

"So there's no point in worrying about it. Right?" Tiffany's reassurance was sweet but pointless.

Bridget's dad going ape shit would be welcomed; at least she'd know what to expect. The closer they got to her house, the sicker she became. _What would he do?_ The not knowing was scarier than actually being pregnant.

"Can't we go to your house?" Bridget begged.

"Are you kidding? If my parents find out either of us is taking a pregnancy test, my life will be pretty much over." Tiffany shook her head. "They won't let me hang out with you. They wouldn't want me to catch pregnancy," she joked, but her tone was serious. Tiffany's parents were strict but gave her just enough freedom to hide things from them, like her much older boyfriend.

"Holy hell, what is your dad doing home so early?"

Bridget hadn't even realized they pulled into her driveway. All the oxygen escaped her lungs and her fingers dug into the seat.

"I...I don't know."

Tiffany picked up the pregnancy tests and shoved them in her bag. "Come on. Just act normal and he won't even notice." Tiffany stepped out as if she didn't have a care in the world.

The summer heat blasted Bridget in the face the moment she opened the car door. Instantly, she felt dizzy and nauseous. She shut the car door and leaned against it until the rolling of her stomach eased.

Tiffany wrapped an arm around her, urging her toward the front door. "It's too hot to sit out here."

Bridget took several deep breaths; her hands shook as she turned the knob and stepped inside.

It took a moment for her eyes to adjust. The blinds were down and the curtains closed, keeping the room dark, especially compared to the brightness of the day.

"You feeling better?" Her dad's voice startled her. She didn't see him lying on the couch, but he sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "I heard you throwing up this morning."

She stood, staring at him. He was home and talking to her. This was the most they'd spoken to each other in months.

Tiffany bumped her arm. "Oh...yeah. I'm better now."

"Good. Good." He leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

"Umm...are you okay, Dad?"

"Yeah. I think I have what you had. If you're already feeling better, then it's just a twenty-four-hour bug."

Bridget was speechless. She was positive they didn't have the same thing.

"Probably," Tiffany said. Bridget stared at her friend with an open mouth. Tiffany shrugged and pulled her toward the stairs. "Well, we'll be upstairs," Tiffany called out. With heavy legs, Bridget ascended the stairs, dreading every step. She would know for sure if she were pregnant. And if she was...

Tiffany guided her to the bathroom, turning on the light before shoving her inside.

"I don't have to pee yet," Bridget said a little too loud.

"Shhhh! Fine, I'll get you some water. I'll be right back." As Bridget stepped into the hallway to head to her bedroom, Bridget heard her dad speak to Tiffany.

"Hi, Tammy. How's school?" her father asked. What was he doing? Surprised to hear him talking, she stood at the top of the stairs to listen.

"Um...well...it's summer, so great." Tiffany didn't bother correcting her name.

"Right. I forgot you girls were out for the summer." He spoke as if he regularly kept up on Bridget's day-to-day schedule.

"Yeah...well...we'll be back in school on Monday."

"Right." Bridget couldn't see him but could picture him nodding his head, pretending to pay attention. It was just her luck he picked today to appear interested.

When the conversation stopped, Bridget went to her room to lie down.

"What's up with your dad? He, like, acknowledged my existence...or at least Tammy's," Tiffany said with a snort.

"He must really be sick." Tiffany laughed, but Bridget was dead serious. He never even pretended to care unless Bridget wasn't following a rule.

"Drink up." Tiffany shoved the bottled water into Bridget's hands before turning on the radio. She switched stations until she got to a song she liked. Tiffany lifted the brush to her mouth and lip synced and danced around Bridget's room, laughing at herself. Bridget smiled at her friend's antics until it hit her.

"Oh my god. I'm going to have a baby," Bridget cried out.

Tiffany stopped mid movement surprised by Bridget's outburst.

The music was still blasting from the speakers, but the awkward silence was deafening.

Tiffany plopped down next to Bridget, putting an arm around her. "Come dance with me. It'll help the water run through your body quicker."

Tiffany pulled Bridget up and forced her to move. It was sweet that she tried to take her mind off everything, but the movement made her stomach roll. She fell back on the bed, covering her mouth.

"Oh, Bridge! I'm sorry. You want some crackers?"

She nodded and closed her eyes and wondered when she'd stop being sick.

A knock on Bridget's door startled them. Tiffany panicked and threw the package of crackers, hitting Bridget in the face. Tiffany did a little panic dance before sitting in front of Bridget's closet. Tiffany mouthed, "Why is he up here?" Still rubbing the spot where the crackers hit her cheek, she shrugged. She was just as surprised as Tiffany.

"Bridget?" her dad called out.

Eyes wide, she threw Tiffany the pregnancy test and pointed to her closet.

"Yeah, Dad?" Her words came out high-pitched and a little shrill.

She shoved a couple saltines in her mouth and took a swallow of water.

He opened the door and poked his head in. He looked at her questioning. "Sick again?"

"Yeah...must not be gone yet."

Tiffany shoved the test in the closet, guarding Bridget's secret with her life.

"We need to talk." How did he know? Bridget's heart practically beat out of her chest.

"Right now?"

"Yes." He let out a frustrated sigh.

Would he freak out in front of Tiffany...or Tammy? "Okay. Come in."

He stood in the doorway with one foot in and one foot out. His eyes scanned the walls of her bedroom. He hadn't been in there since the day she moved in. "I'm going out of town for work, and I'll be gone up to three weeks."

Tiffany's eyes widen before a smile spread across her face as she mouthed, "Party."

Bridget attempted to ignore Tiffany while listening to her dad. "Do you think you'll be okay by yourself?" Does he not realize she'd been alone since she moved in?

"Of course."

"Good. Good. Okay. I'll be sure to leave plenty of food money, and you can use your mom's old car to get back and forth from work and school."

She nodded, not wanting to argue with him. Her mom left the car to Bridget. She was supposed to get it for her sixteenth birthday, but her dad only 'allowed' her to use it.

"When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow." His voice was stiff. "If you're afraid to be alone, I can have our neighbor, Mrs. Oaks, check on you."

"I'll be okay, Dad." Bridget wondered why he seemed so concerned about her well-being when he barely acknowledged her most days.

"You better keep going to school and work," he warned.

She huffed at his threat. "Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me? I get straight A's, I work, I do my chores, and I follow the rules."

"Don't talk to me that way. I still remember the night you came home hours after your curfew."

She'd lived with him over a year and he still brought up the one time she broke a rule, ignoring everything else she did.

"Dad..."

"Don't, Bridget. You're a teen." Her mouth dropped in surprise.

"What do you mean by that?"

He ignored her question. "I'll leave the money and my contact information for where I'm staying on the kitchen counter, in case I leave before I see you."

He didn't make a move for a goodbye hug or tell her he was going to miss her.

_Nothing_.

"See you when you get back," Bridget said.

He looked as if he wanted to say something but turned around, shutting the door behind him.

"Holy Shit! At least you won't have to hide from your dad for a few weeks."

Bridget's eyes were still glued to the closed door. She was relieved she wouldn't have to hide from him but sad that she was relieved.

_Hormones._

"You ready to take the test now?" Bridget peeked out the door, checking for signs of her dad. She stepped out with Tiffany right behind, holding the two pregnancy tests. "Go ahead and do your business, then I'll come in and sit with you."

After peeing on the sticks, Bridget opened the door for her impatient friend. Tiffany flipped down the lid on the toilet and sat down while Bridget paced the small room. Bridget stared at a random spot on the wall, making a mental list of the things she'd need if the test were positive. The money from her part-time job wasn't going to be nearly enough.

"What do you think Phillip is going to do if you're pregnant?" _The question of the hour_. Bridget wished she had the answer.

"I don't know." He loved her. He would be there for her.

_Wouldn't he?_

"I bet he'll ask you to marry him," Tiffany said excitedly.

Bridget fought back a smile, thinking about what it would be like to be married to him. They would get a little apartment for their family. They would be happy. It would be hard, but they loved each other, and they would love this baby.

"You could move into his parents' apartment while you both finish school. He's totally crazy about you. I don't think you should be worried. You two made a baby. It's kind of sweet. You'll be the cutest couple."

A spark of hope flickered in Bridget's stomach. She wanted the life her friend described, and she wanted this baby.

_If_ she was pregnant.

Bridget was already in love with the little peanut that could be growing inside her and she loved Phillip.

"You'll have to tell him your age," Tiffany casually declared.

"I know." All the secrets she held would have to come out. The sick feeling in Bridget's gut was back.

Tiffany looked at her watch then at Bridget.

"Ready?"

"No."

Tiffany peeked at the sticks then back to Bridget. "Oh shit..."

Tiffany drove Bridget to Phillip's in eerie silence. It felt ominous since the name Tiffany and the word silent didn't go together.

Bridget's usual excitement over seeing Phillip was snuffed out by the heavy weight of her news.

"He loves me. He loves me. He loves me," Bridget chanted the whole way there.

Between pre-season football practice and her work, they had very little time together. The few nights they connected, Phillip was exhausted but excitedly talked about school, football, and moving into the frat house.

"Call me afterward." Tiffany dropped her off in front of his place and sped off.

Bridget stood in his driveway, working up the nerve to talk to him. She startled when the screen door slammed shut on his parents' back door and an angry Phillip stomped toward his apartment.

Another fight with his dad no doubt.

He looked menacing with his hands fisted and his face beet red. Her eyes focused on his movements and when he stopped halfway between the house and the garage, her eyes met his.

Instantly, a smile replaced the scowl. Before she knew it, he had her off her feet and in his arms.

"It's like you knew I needed you," he said against her mouth before leaving a hot trail of kisses on her face.

He carried her up the stairs, never breaking a sweat.

Phillip didn't put Bridget down until they got to his bedroom. Their mouths only separated when he pulled her shirt over her head.

"Wait. Phillip..."

"What, baby?" he said between kisses. He unbuttoned her shorts, shoving them down when she took a hold of his hands. "I need to talk to you?"

"Right now?" He laughed just as his hands moved behind her back to undo her bra.

Bridget gently pushed him away.

He looked into her eyes and must have seen the worry on her face.

"You're serious." She nodded. "Baby? What's wrong?"

She held his hand and stared at his chest as she formed the words she needed to say.

"Are you...are you breaking up with me?" He placed a hand under her chin forcing her eyes up.

"No. Never. I love you, Phillip."

He sighed with relief. "Then what is it? You're scaring me."

"I'm scared. The most scared I've ever been in my life," she cried.

Pulling her into his arms, he asked, "Tell me, baby. I don't like seeing you like this."

She shook in his arms as she held back the tears.

_He loves me. It'll all be okay._

"Phillip... I'm...we're...pregnant."

His hands froze, one around her waist and the other on her hip. His jaw fell open, but no words escaped. She managed to swallow the anxiety to speak. "Say something."

"How? When?" he asked.

"I guess the first time. We uh..."

"Forgot the condom," he finished.

"Yes."

They stood facing each other, neither breaking the silence. His eyes focused on her flat stomach, and his features softened. He slid his hand from her hip to her belly and whispered, "Baby." For a brief moment, the worries she carried around eased and she could picture them a happy family.

Then Bridget's world ended.

His demeanor changed from caring to frigid. He pulled his hand away and created distance between them.

His breaths grew heavy. "We'll get this taken care of. Together."

"What do you mean?"

"I have some money saved; you could get an abortion."

"No," she cried in disbelief at his suggestion.

_Never._

"We can't have a baby. We're nineteen! I have plans. I'm moving into the fraternity house, I have football, and I still have years left before I'm finished with school. I can't support a family right now. There's no way."

"Phillip." She stepped closer, taking his hand. "We can. You and I, together."

He ignored her comment. "What did your dad say?"

"I can't tell my dad."

"Why not? You're an adult. What's he going to do?"

This was it. She fought back the nausea.

"I'm not an adult."

He yanked his hand away and took another step back. "What do you mean? You're in college, working..."

"I'm still in high school."

He stumbled until his back hit the wall. "What? But... This isn't happening." His head hit the wall, and he closed his eyes. "How old are you?"

She wanted to go to him. Hold him, have him hold her, but she stood still and with a small voice answered, "Sixteen."

"Oh my God, Bridget!" For the first time in months, he used her full name. "You're sixteen," he paused, connecting the dots before he finished, "and being three years older than you, I could be prosecuted for sexual conduct with a minor."

"I'm sorry." She reached for him, but he held a hand up, keeping her from getting closer.

"Your dad doesn't know," he confirmed.

She shook her head.

"Does anyone?"

"Tiffany and the girl at the pharmacy."

Silence hung between them. She stood in front of him in only her bra and panties, leaving her exposed. She pulled her clothes back on while she waited for him to say something. Anything.

Then he did.

He took two large steps until he stood in front of her. She could see the war going on inside. It was the same one she fought hiding the truth. "Why did you lie to me?" His blue eyes filled with tears. "I thought we had something."

"We do have something." Bridget planted her hand against his chest, allowing herself to touch him, even if it was for the last time. "I'm so sorry. I just...I didn't want to lose you. I love you."

"Lose me?" The obvious hurt and betrayal turned to anger. He pushed her hand away and yelled, "You risked me going to prison for what? Because you didn't want to lose me? This could ruin my future...my life! I could go to prison and lose my chance of getting my law degree." Phillip turned away from her, as if looking at her caused him pain. "My dad... I'd never hear the end of it."

"He'll find out, eventually."

He turned around and pointed a finger at her. "No. He's not. You're going to get an abortion."

_Who is this person?_

This wasn't her Phillip. He'd never speak to her in this way. This person was cold and without feeling.

"I can't."

"Yes, you can. You're fucking sixteen years old. You're a child, Bridget! You can't have a baby."

She cringed as he yelled in her face. With false confidence she said, "We."

"What?" he asked exasperated.

"We...there are two of us. We are pregnant, you and I." She pointed back and forth between them. "We can find a cheap apartment. I'm still working, and I'm sure we can work our schedules so one of us is with the baby. It'll be spring. Football season will be over and—"

"STOP! You have got to be kidding. What fantasy world are you living in?" For the first time, she was actually afraid of him. His voice rose with every word.

"Phillip, please. I love you and I love our baby." His face blanched at her endearment.

"No."

That was it. That was the last word he said before pulling money out of his wallet and handing it to her.

Bridget left it at the top of the stairs.

The bus ride home felt twice as long, and when she got to her house, Tiffany stood in her driveway with red puffy eyes.

She wanted to run to her friend and cry on her shoulder. Before she could, Tiffany got in her face and yelled, "He called Shawn. Now neither of us have a boyfriend. You couldn't remember a stupid condom? How stupid are you? Or did you do it on purpose? You ruined my life, that baby's," pointing to Bridget's stomach, "and Phillip's. No wonder your dad hates you."

Bridget stood motionless and in shock.

_What just happened?_

"I hate you!" Tiffany screamed before climbing into her car and speeding away.

Bridget stared at the empty space that was occupied only moments ago by her only friend.

"I have no one."

The truth was a punch to the gut, and the loneliness overwhelmed her.

In her bedroom that night, she stayed awake pouring her heart out in her journal, missing her mom more than ever.

She held her hand across her stomach and made a promise to her unborn child. "I'll always be here for you."
Chapter Nine

# August 1995

## Billy

"What?" he growled after the third set of knocks in as many minutes. Between employee spats, customer complaints, and vendor calls, he was losing his patience.

Diane rolled her eyes and sighed heavily. "Hey, crabby, someone is here for you." Considering the way they'd been arguing, he was surprised she called him something besides jerk or idiot.

They'd been at each other's throats for a few weeks, neither backing down. It started out with him making a few changes and her reminding him, "That's not how your parents did it."

The more she pushed, the more he pushed back until they were at a stalemate. She kept doing things the old way, and he kept encouraging the other employees to do it his way. She caved, but now made it a point to end every conversation with a comment under her breath.

He daydreamed of firing her, but it wasn't an option. He loved her, even if she made him crazy. Plus, his parents would never forgive him.

"Can't you deal with it?" His attention was focused on the computer and figuring out the new program.

"No." He waited for her to finish with a smart-aleck response, but after a few silent seconds, he dragged his eyes to the empty doorway.

"Of course." Shoving away from the desk, he cursed under his breath. He was going to have to apologize to her; otherwise, their standoff would never end.

The noise from the diner grated on his already-frayed nerves. His eyes pinched closed as he rubbed them with his fists. A dull ache lingered behind his eyes.

If it weren't for the mountain of paperwork, he would've played hooky. He was overdue for a guys' night with his old buddies. But the threat of Diane's nagging voice and fear of failing his parents kept him from leaving. He drudged through the monotony of his days.

One thousand five hundred eighty-seven days until he could place the diner on the market. Give or take a day.

_Yeah, I'm counting._

He barely missed a collision with a waitress coming through the swinging double doors. With his shoulders back and a forced smile, he prepared himself for the worst.

Diane flew by him with an arm full of dirty dishes and pointed to the counter with her head. His eyes followed the long line until they met the last person he ever expected to see in his diner.

Their eyes met and he sucked in a breath, blowing it out slowly. He'd ask Diane to pinch him, but she'd draw too much pleasure from it and most likely blood.

"Billy." Her voice shook as she tightened her grip on her purse. Afraid that she was a mirage and could disappear, he didn't take his eyes off of her.

One second he was behind the counter, the next he stood in front of her, wanting to touch her, kiss her and drag her out of there so they could be alone. "Freja."

Her smile brightened as she exhaled softly. "Hi."

Unable to hold back, he pulled her into his arms, burying his face in her neck. He had to touch her, smell her, and taste her.

_She was here._

_In his diner._

_In his arms._

A million questions raced through his mind, but none of them mattered. Not when her fingers ran through his hair, and he felt the warmth of her breath on his cheek.

"Billy." Her breathy voice ignited his need for her.

He kissed her neck and breathed her in. "You're here."

A soft cry escaped her lips as she nodded.

He pulled away just enough to watch a tear streak down her cheek. He kissed it, tasting its saltiness on his tongue.

"I was afraid you wouldn't want to see me," she whispered.

_If she only knew_. He thought of her every day and wished he had said something before leaving. "I'm so sorry, Freja. I should have said—"

"Don't." She covered his lips with her long, delicate fingers. "You don't have to say a word. You were in shock and grieving."

This amazing woman was standing in front of him and he wasn't kissing her. He remedied that. "You're here," he said again just as he slid a hand behind her neck and pulled her closer until their lips met.

He'd missed this. He'd missed her.

His arm tightened around her waist until there wasn't space between them while their lips and tongues got reacquainted.

"Excuse me." Diane bumped them with her hip.

He pulled away and smiled at Diane for the first time since he'd returned.

"Diane, I'd like you to meet Freja."

Diane stared at him with her jaw hanging low. "Nice to meet you."

He gave her a wink while he took Freja's hand.

"Why? When? Wait. First." Taking a deep breath, he pulled his thoughts together. "How long are you going to be here?"

"I can stay until morning." For the first time since they met, she blushed under his stare.

"Diane! You're in charge," he yelled over his shoulder.

"I know," Diane said dryly. She winked and said something about finally seeing the old Billy under her breath.

Holding Freja's hand, they passed through the kitchen and out the back door. He stole a kiss until they were breathless before opening the passenger door for her.

Never taking his eyes off her, he ran around the truck.

They held hands, neither saying a word during their short ride to his house, but they stole glances every few seconds. His house was barely a mile away, yet still too far.

When he pulled into the driveway, they both hopped out and met in front of the truck, reaching for each other as they walked up to his front door. He barely had the door closed before pinning her to the wall and taking everything she gave him. Their mouths explored each other as if it was their first time. They left a trail of clothes from the front door to his childhood bedroom. As he stood naked in his room, he imagined teenage Billy having a stroke over the idea of having this sexy woman naked and willing in his bedroom.

"I still can't believe you're here!"

Those were the last words spoken until they were calling out each other's names.

He rolled to his side and held her against his body, exactly where she belonged. He took his first true deep breath since arriving home two months ago. With her here, the stresses of life faded away.

"We should have talked before I attacked you, but I don't think I could have gone another minute without touching you."

"I'm not complaining. We'll have plenty of time to talk."

"I think you're underestimating my need to have you again before you leave." She smiled and giggled into his chest. He lifted his head to look into her eyes. _Wait. What did she mean by plenty of time?_ She said she had to leave in the morning. According to him, that was never going to be enough time.

_Too many questions_.

First. "What are you doing here?"

She pushed away from him, giving them space that he didn't appreciate. "Are you upset?"

He rolled on top of her, making it impossible for her to get away. "Complete opposite. As I'm sure you can feel," he said while leaving a trail of kisses from just below her ear to her beautiful breasts. "Tell me everything," he demanded between kisses.

Her breath caught as his tongue swirled around a nipple. He smiled as he kissed his way to the other one. "You're not talking."

"I can't when you do that." She breathed out and cradled his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her.

"Next week, I start medical school...in Phoenix."

_What?_

"Why didn't you tell me when we met?"

"We were a fling, or at least it started out that way."

He kissed her lips. "It's more."

"Yeah. But then you left and didn't say anything about seeing me again..." He kissed her again to assure her it wasn't just a fling for him. "I tried to think of you as an incredible memory. It didn't work. I don't want just a memory."

"You're living in Phoenix?" he asked in disbelief. Only a few hours away instead of an ocean.

"At least for the next four years. I start Monday, which is why I have to leave tomorrow."

"But you can come back?"

"If you want me to," she said timidly.

"Of course I do!"

"I don't know how much time I'll have, and you're busy with the diner, but I want to see you again. If you want."

"Oh. I want." He pushed into her as she wrapped her legs around him.

After another round with only moans and screams as communication, he held her as they filled each other in on the past couple months.

Once they said goodbye in Madrid, she cut her trip short and went home to spend time with her parents before flying to the States. She had been in Phoenix for two weeks before she got the nerve to drive to Flagstaff in search of him. She knew his parents owned a diner and went to three others before finding his.

"What about you?" She kissed the circles under his eyes and waited for him to speak.

He wasn't sure where to begin. "After the funeral, all my time and energy has gone into the diner. I'm overwhelmed, exhausted, and lonely. Then I come home and I'm bombarded with memories of my parents. This is their home—or, I guess, mine now. It doesn't feel like mine."

"You need to make it your own."

"Yeah. I suppose."

"We can work on it together, or at least when I can visit."

"I love that idea." He kissed her forehead and caressed her naked form. It felt like years since he'd touched her or been inside her. He needed her again. And again.
Chapter Ten

# August 8:00 AM

## Bridget

Bridget reached into her back pocket, pulling out her phone at the first vibration.

_Phillip._

"Katie, can you take these plates to table five for me?"

"Of course." Katie nearly sang her response as she pushed her way through the double doors.

Her daughter's cheerful voice made Bridget smile, but the conversation she had to have next forced her to take a deep, ragged breath. Talking to him hadn't gotten easier. There was a time when she would have done anything to have him call.

She slid the bar across the face of the phone as she walked into Billy's office, closing the door behind her. "Hey."

"Hi." His voice was gentle, yet nervous. It had been that way since they first talked back in May.

She closed her eyes, remembering that voice. It was more mature than her memories but still the same. It was the voice she heard when she thought back to the first time they made love. The day that changed everything.

"We just landed and are headed to the hotel to check in. What time can we come by?"

Bridget leaned her forehead against the wall and rubbed the back of her neck with her free hand. Phillip and his wife, Jennifer, were here for Katie's goodbye party.

By the end of the day, Katie would be living only an hour away from them. It was a coincidence that Katie had picked a university near Phillip. A coincidence Bridget wasn't sure she liked. She hadn't known where Phillip lived until she told him where Katie was going to school. As much as she wished that Katie stayed closer to home, she knew it would be easier for Phillip since they agreed he would build a relationship with Katie before telling her who he was. He and Jennifer flew in for a quick visit with his parents and to meet Katie.

"It's going to be in a couple of hours, here at the diner with her school friends and the regulars who've been here for us since the beginning."

His silence was potent. "Bridget..."

"Sorry. I didn't mean it like that. It's just a fact. No need to apologize. So I'll see you in a few?"

"Yes. See you soon." She could tell he was still beating himself up over their past.

At one time, she'd hoped he was as tortured as she was, but in the past few months things had changed between them. She was ready to let go of her anger and forgive him and herself.

She spent many nights worrying over her decision to contact him. In the end, it had to be done for Katie's sake. Katie had a right to know her dad.

Billy walked in just as she hung up. He leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. "Was that him?" The tight muscles in his neck and furrowed brows expressed his agitation.

"Yes." She laid her phone on the desk and wiped her sweaty hands on her shorts. "They'll be here soon." Her voice faded until it was barely above a whisper.

Feeling a deep sense of shame, she swiveled the chair to turn away from him. She bent over, covering her face with her hands. "I've made so many mistakes, Billy, and I can't take them back. I need to fix this." She hadn't told Billy she contacted Phillip until a few weeks ago. Billy's face held a similar expression now as it had then.

He rounded the desk and crouched in front of her. Pulling her hands away from her face, he asked, "Why are you taking the blame for this?" He lifted her chin with one finger, forcing her gaze up.

"Billy. I did things I'm ashamed to admit. What happened between us... I had a huge part in it. I spent years laying all the fault on him without considering what I did. He made choices based on..."

"But—"

She didn't let him finish. "I know. I know. I know. He had his part, but still...it's time for me to make it up to both of them."

Billy sighed. "I don't understand it, but I'm here for you."

He placed his hand against her cheek, never taking his eyes off her. "I'm here," he repeated.

Katie wasn't the only person who needed to hear the whole truth. Bridget had kept it from Billy, as well, not wanting him to think badly of her.

"Hey, I need help out here." Katie's smiling face appeared in the doorway. Billy stood up and offered his hand. "We're coming."

"Mom? Crying again?" Katie asked with a teasing tone.

"Just wait! In forty years, when your daughter leaves for college, you'll be just as emotional," Bridget teased back.

"Forty?" With eyebrows high, Katie asked, "You're giving me permission to have a child by the time I'm forty? So soon?"

If there was one mantra Bridget wanted Katie to remember, it was education before marriage and children. Bridget had never regretted having Katie, but she would never want this life for her daughter. She wanted her daughter to experience life and do all the things she wished she could have done.

"You're lucky I'm agreeing to forty," Bridget managed to say with a straight face until Katie broke out in a fit of giggles. That sound was music to Bridget's ears and got her through every tough day since Katie's birth.

"You two, go ahead. I'll be out soon," Bridget instructed.

Billy and Katie nodded their heads simultaneously.

Billy gave Bridget a smile and wink before giving her a few minutes to pull herself together.

Katie's final comment before closing the door brought a smile to her face. "It's busy. It's like everyone who ever ate here showed up."
Chapter Eleven

# November 1995

## Bridget

Bridget sat in one of the open desks, writing her latest short story. This classroom had become her safe haven during the school day. Every lunch hour, she would sit with her teacher to eat and write. It was the only time of day she didn't have someone whispering behind her back just loud enough for her to hear or have people staring at her stomach. Except today. She could feel Mrs. Langston's eyes on her. Bridget lifted her head once more, catching her teacher off guard.

Her Creative Writing teacher sighed before taking another sip of coffee. She sat behind her desk, red pen in hand, as she read through pages and pages of probably awful writing.

"Bridget? Have you told your dad yet?"

Bridget shook her head no, dropped her pen, and covered her face with her hands. It had been more than two weeks since she promised to tell him, but every day she chickened out.

Her teacher's face softened along with her voice as she moved from behind her desk to sit next to Bridget. "You're starting to show. I'm surprised he hasn't noticed."

Bridget's hand slid back and forth across her tight belly. It had been a month since she'd been able to wear most of her jeans and she was down to one pair and her sweats. At seventeen weeks, it was getting harder to hide her growing stomach. With her dad out of town, he hadn't had a chance to notice. He had been out of town much longer than he initially planned. Three weeks had turned into three months. He had gotten back a few weeks ago and was already getting ready to leave again. She'd only seen him a handful of times and each time she wore a sweatshirt or hoodie that easily covered her bump.

"I'm not. If anything, he probably thinks I'm getting fat."

"You need to tell him, sweetie. I bet he will surprise you."

"I know." She did, but every time she asked to talk to him, he'd either tell her "later" or he'd sigh heavily, fold his arms, and ask, "What now?" Each time, she had backed down and asked him a simple question.

"No more excuses."

"I know. I know." Bridget sat in her chair no longer excited about her story idea and dreading the conversation she had to have with her dad.

The bell rang, and the anxiety of leaving the safety of the classroom returned. Her teacher patted her on the shoulder. "It's all going to work out, Bridget." Mrs. Langston was her favorite teacher, but she really didn't understand what Bridget was going through.

When she opened the door, the noise of kids rushing to their lockers bombarded her. She made a right to walk down the hall to stop at her locker and pick up her chemistry book. Her stomach dropped when she saw Tiffany. Her former 'best friend' bumped her shoulder and mouthed an exaggerated 'whore' as she passed. Everywhere she went, people whispered behind her back, or worse, they didn't. She preferred not to know what people said about her.

It wasn't the girl at the pharmacy that spread the news but Tiffany. Torturing Bridget had become her mission, and she had recruited the girls who were her freinds now to her cause.

Bridget was now the official outcast of her class and, on a good day, barely rose above the guy who never showered or brushed his teeth. Every day, Bridget made her way down the hall and did her best to become invisible.

She almost flunked her first class because she refused to perform a required speech, but her teacher had taken pity and allowed her to do a much bigger project to make it up. It was worth it. School was something to survive. She had managed to keep her grades up, which was a little easier to do after she lost her job. Her employer loved her, but she wasn't able to keep food down and had called in sick more often than she had shown up to work. They had to let her go, and with all the college students back in town, finding a new one had been difficult.

On her walk home, Bridget tried to remind herself that she made it through another day. It was getting harder and harder to keep a positive attitude, but she would for her baby.

Her dad's car sat in the driveway when she arrived home. It was hours before he was scheduled to be home. She zipped up her hoodie and stuffed her hands in the pocket, making it appear loose around her belly.

The kitchen and living room were empty, and the light was off in his bedroom. It was odd, but she didn't think anything of it. She didn't bother yelling that she was home. He wouldn't care. She grabbed a juice out of the fridge before heading to her bedroom. Her bedroom door sat ajar and the light was on. She could have sworn she turned it off when she left that morning.

Something wasn't right. Her heart raced as she got closer. She pushed the door open and stepped inside. Her dad sat on her bed, holding an open journal. His fists were white from the viselike grip he had on the book.

"You're pregnant?" His voice was low and barely controlled. Shivers ran down her spine. For the first time, he terrified her. She'd never seen him so angry. Most days he appeared indifferent but not now.

"Answer me!" Repelled by the sheer rage coming off him, she jumped back. His already red face turned nearly purple as he hurled the journal in her direction. It slammed into the doorjamb beside her head.

"Dad..." Her voice shook with fear. She'd be surprised if he even heard her over his ragged panting.

"I should have known you would be nothing but trouble. You are, aren't you?"

She cringed and sank back against the wall, trying to make herself small. "Yes."

"How far along, and what exactly is your plan?"

"I'm seventeen weeks and," she gulped, "I'm not sure."

"You better figure it out." He stood and paced the bedroom with his arms crossed.

"What about the father?"

She was embarrassed to admit that she was a fool, but he wouldn't let it go until she told him. "He doesn't want anything to do with me."

"Of course. You just couldn't keep your legs closed." His voice went icy. "I will not support you and a baby. You are too much to reasonably expect of anyone."

She absorbed his words. As painful as they were, they were not a surprise.

"You're getting an abortion."

"No." It wasn't any easier to say no to her dad than it was to Phillip.

"Yes. I'll find a place, and we'll get you in right away."

"NO! I won't."

"An abortion or leave. Those are your options."

Abortion would never be an option. She couldn't. Ever. The baby was the only love she had left.

"Listen to me; a child will ruin your life. You are your own proof. You want to raise a child that's going to get knocked up as a teenager?"

Taking her silence as his answer. "I didn't think so. You're only option is to leave or terminate. Make up your mind. I'll see you in the morning."

He took one more look at her, this time glancing at her belly. His mouth twisted as if he had just bitten into an apple and found a worm, but it didn't matter. He had admitted what she already knew. She ruined his life with her very existence. Her legs were too shaky to hold her. She slid down the wall and reached to pick up the journal he had thrown. There were three others on her bed that he must have gone through. She wanted to know why he bothered. He had never even hinted that he cared, so why now?

She called a work friend to see if she could stay with her but was told, "No way," her parents would kill her if she brought home a pregnant friend. The girl's parents weren't the only ones afraid to have her around their impressionable daughters. She called one other girl she studied with, but she said no as well.

_Now what?_

She sat on her bed, barely keeping the panic at bay. After Tiffany, she thought she had nobody; now she really didn't. She laid down and rolled to her side, hugging her pillow and wishing for her mom. Even though she knew better, she felt abandoned by everyone, including her mother.

_Everyone leaves me._

She rubbed her belly one more time before getting up and pulling down her suitcase from her closet shelf. If it was just her, she might have given up, but she had someone to live for now.

Her bag filled up quickly with the few clothes that still fit, the piles of baby supplies she had bought over the past few months at garage sales, and her schoolbooks. A picture of her and her mother wrapped carefully in a baby blanket was the last thing she placed in her suitcase before closing it. She took the little cash she had out of its hiding spot. It wasn't much, but maybe it would be enough to cover dinner and a motel room. Tomorrow, she'd check out the shelters.

She lifted it and carried it downstairs until she reached the bottom where she could pull it on its rollers.

Her dad was nowhere in sight. She didn't bother saying goodbye or leaving a note. He'd be relieved to have her gone. As she stepped out the door, she heard her father say, "Don't bother coming back." He stood a couple of yards behind her. His arms hung at his sides and his expression was completely blank. His empty eyes held her gaze before she backed out and shut the door behind her. Her hand held onto the doorknob. She willed him to come after her and ask her to stay, but after a few minutes...nothing. She was nothing.

The sky was already darkening in the early afternoon; a slight breeze blew against her as she dragged her bag to the bus stop. The muscles of her stomach ached from pulling the weight of her suitcase. She decided to make one stop before finding a hotel.

She arrived at the corner at the same time as the bus. An older gentleman carried her bag up the bus steps and rolled it to her seat. She smiled at him in thanks as tears pooled behind her eyes at the kind gesture of the stranger. Minutes later, she dragged her bag behind her toward the fraternity house where she had met Phillip for the first time.

As she got to the first step, two guys came out carrying backpacks. She recognized them as friends of Phillip. When they saw her standing there, one of them snickered, the other poked his head in the door and yelled for Phillip. Phillip ran down the stairs and landed in front of the door with a thud. He smiled at the guys, asking what they wanted when he noticed her. "Good luck, dude," one of them said. She didn't see which since she hadn't taken her eyes off of Phillip. She hoped he would look as bad as she felt, but he looked...the same. Apparently, their breakup had been no big deal. She thought he loved her, but she was wrong.

He closed the door as he stepped outside without shoes or a coat. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked at her expectantly.

Talking to him suddenly felt like a bad idea. He stood staring, not saying a word, but his eyes moved to her slight bump. Her hands automatically covered it, feeling the need to protect her baby from his hate. His body stilled for just a moment, then he lifted his eyes to look her in the face. His features darkened and the Phillip she knew and loved was truly gone.

"What do you want?" His voice sounded cold and menacing.

"My dad kicked me out."

His jaw tightened as he looked away. He wouldn't even face her when he asked, "What does that have to do with me?"

"Phillip..." she begged.

"How do I even know that's my baby?"

"I've only been with you."

"You lied to me, so how do I know you aren't lying about this? I mean you were good. I totally believed you were a virgin. How naïve am I?"

"I was a virgin." She wanted to punch him. He was so far from the man she loved, she barely recognized him. "Why are you doing this? I love you. You said you loved me."

"I did until I found out you lied." He finally turned to face her. "That baby isn't mine."

"Yes, it is!" She fisted her palms. "Please, Phillip, I need a place to stay."

He looked down at her from his perch on the top of the stairs. His eyes darkened as he spit at her. "I. Don't. Care." He had barely finished the last word before his face softened and she swore she saw pain in his eyes.

This wasn't him. Why was he being so cruel? "You love me. I know you do."

His voice softened, but the anger was still there. "You need to get rid of it, for your sake, Bridget." She could only shake her head. Why did they keep saying this? There was a human being growing inside her.

"Bri..." he sighed.

Shawn walked up the sidewalk, passing them. He took one look at her and shook his head. "Hey, tell Tiffany to stop calling me."

"She's not talking to me."

"Figures." He patted Phillip on the back before entering the house.

"I've got to go. If you need money for the procedure, I still have the money you left on the porch."

"Keep it. Buy yourself a soul," Bridget mumbled as she pulled her bag behind her. She wanted to cry. She wanted to cry forever, but she refused to let the tears flow. Her father and Phillip didn't deserve them. She sat on her bag on the sidewalk, waiting for the next bus. She wasn't sure where she was going but figured she should at least try to find a cheap motel.

She stayed on the bus until she spotted a line of motel vacancy signs. Once off the bus, she debated on whether to reserve a room or get dinner first, then the flashing neon of a diner sign caught her attention.

The warm glow from the lights inside called to her. Just as she made her decision, snow began to fall. She stepped inside and let the comfortable setting warm her skin. She stood in the doorway until she felt eyes on her.
Chapter Twelve

# November 1995

## Billy

"Again? I haven't seen you in weeks. I need you, Freja."

"Need? Really, Billy?" she teased, but he wasn't joking. His life wasn't funny at the moment, in fact, it leaned toward miserable. He needed her to take his mind off it. Instead, she was home studying...again.

He'd go to her, but she lived with two other girls. It was less than an ideal since he preferred to have her to himself.

"Freja, just for the night."

"I can't," she huffed, her irritation growing. "Stop with the guilt trips. I told you from the beginning that I wouldn't have much time. My grades are more important than your loneliness."

She hit the nail on the head. He was lonely, and she had the ability to make him forget for a little while. He didn't think he was asking too much for one night.

Their relationship wasn't what he imagined. He had expected to see her every weekend, but they'd only spent five nights together in three months. They talked on the phone several times a week, but it wasn't enough. He needed more than what she was able to give.

"Fine." He wanted to slam the phone down but managed to tell her he loved her before they hung up.

Frustrated, in more ways than one, Billy dragged himself out of the office with a pile of paperwork and took a seat in the corner booth. It was his favorite spot; it reminded him of his mother. When he closed his eyes, he imagined sitting next to her with her cheery smile and plump cheeks. As a child, he'd sat next to her and played with the printing calculator as he 'helped' her count receipts and fill out orders.

It was in these random moments that he missed her the most. Regret washed over him as he thought of the time he had wasted not appreciating his parents. With the palm of his hand, he rubbed his chest, soothing the ache.

A few frustrating hours later, he got up to grab another cup of coffee. The dinner rush was over, leaving the diner quiet and Diane as the only waitress. A couple sat at the opposite end of the diner, and a sleepy trucker, relaxing in a booth nearby, had dozed off cradling his cup of coffee.

Billy cursed the pile of paperwork as he sat back down and stretched his legs out on the opposite bench. The bell over the door jingled, disturbing the quiet of the evening.

A girl, maybe mid-teen, stepped inside pulling a duffel bag nearly as big as her. She unzipped her coat and glanced around the room until her eyes met his. Her hand covered her stomach, drawing his attention to the small belly bump.

When she noticed him staring, she dropped her hand and blushed. For a moment, she appeared to be debating whether to stay. Her hand tightened its grip on her bag. She looked at the door behind her then forward toward the long line of empty barstools. With one last look at him, she turned and made her way to a middle stool. She settled her bag next to the stool, stepped on the foot bar, and heaved herself onto the seat.

Diane passed by, placing a glass of water and a menu in front of her. "I'll be right back, sweetie." Her voice was sugar sweet and her tone motherly.

The girl fumbled with her wallet. With trembling hands, she counted her money and bit her lower lip. She looked on the edge of tears. Judging by the red-rimmed eyes, it probably was not the first time that night.

Billy had no explanation for why he couldn't take his eyes off her. She was pretty but too young to be someone he'd be interested in; however, there was something about her that held his attention. She was cute, edging on adorable, with long wavy brown hair, dark eyes, and long lashes, but her pale skin was red and blotchy. Her shoulders sagged more and more the longer she sat at the counter.

He picked up the paperwork and made his way to the office. When he passed by, Diane stepped in front of her to take her order.

"Ready?" Diane asked.

"Umm, yeah." Her voice was high, barely above a whisper. "I'll have the soup, and can I get extra crackers?"

"Of course. Cup or bowl?"

The girl picked up the menu quickly, glancing at the cost. "The cup, please."

"Is that it?"

Staring at her wallet, she nodded. Her hair fell forward, hiding her face.

"All right. Cup of soup coming right up," Diane repeated in her singsong voice.

Billy stood on the other side of the swinging door, listening. She looked hungry and cold. There was no way a cup of soup would be enough for a pregnant girl. He waited for Diane to step through the door and before she ladled the soup, he pulled her aside. "Put an order for hamburger, fries, and a milkshake for the girl." He pointed in her direction as if they could see through the door. "It's on me."

Diane gave him her motherly smile. "I was going to if you didn't. I think she might be pregnant. The poor thing looks starved, but by the looks of her wallet, doesn't have much money."

He'd been curious, but as they spoke, it turned to concern. Why is a young, pregnant girl traveling alone with hardly any money? "Why don't you use your magic and see if she'll talk?"

"I'm on it." A woman on a mission. The poor girl didn't have a chance against 'The Interrogator'.

Diane yelled out the order to Chuck and ladled the soup.

After dropping off the paperwork, he stood near the swinging doors, coffee mug in hand. His eyes never far from Diane and the girl.

When Diane placed the large bowl in front of the girl, the girl's eyes widened. "I...I'm sorry, but I asked for the cup. I don't have enough for the bowl."

Diane gave her a kind smile. "Don't worry, sweetie, it's late and whatever doesn't get eaten tonight will get thrown away." Diane placed her hand on the girl's. "Eat up. You look like you need it." Diane shushed the girl before she could argue.

He couldn't hear them, but it appeared Diane wasn't getting anywhere. The look she sent and the slight shrug of the shoulder confirmed it. He was going to have to try something else. His concern grew by the minute. It was late, and the snowfall was picking up. If she didn't have a place to stay or someone wasn't going to pick her up, he needed to do something.

The second Chuck hit the bell to inform them a plate was ready, Billy had it in his hand. Diane raised her brows in question. "Get the shake, and I'll take her the plate," he whispered.

"Gotcha."

"Here you go." He slid the plate in front of the girl, bumping the half-empty bowl.

She stared at the plate as if she could devour the whole thing with just her eyes. "Oh...that's not mine."

"It's on the house."

"What? No...I already got too much soup...more than I can pay for."

"Eat up. It's on me." He didn't want to argue, just wanted to feed the poor girl.

She reached over the bar and grabbed his shirt. Her voice shook. "I don't have enough money. I won't be able to pay for this."

He looked at her, really looked. She was young, maybe a little older than he initially thought. Her eyes said more than words could express. He loosened her grip on his shirt and moved around the counter. Her eyes followed him, and her body stiffened when he stood next to her. She shifted to face him, but her eyes didn't meet his. He picked up her bag and her plate. "Follow me." He took her things to a corner booth, scooted in, and then waved her over to sit on the other side. She didn't move right away. Her eyes glanced toward the door then back to him. With a soothing voice he said, "Please, sit." She placed her hand on her belly, crossed the diner, and sat across from him.

He pushed the plate in front of her and made a gesture for her to eat up. Before her first bite, he asked, "What are you doing here so late?" Her shoulders slumped, and her eyes turned away.

"I...I'll pay you back for all the food," she promised.

"It's not about the food or money. I'm worried about you. How old are you?" He tried to keep his voice gentle yet firm.

"I'm sixteen." He had to lean in to hear.

"Are you running away?"

She scoffed. "No. No...I no longer have a home." Her eyes stayed on the plate. He wasn't sure if it was because she was still hungry or to avoid looking at him.

"Why?" He gently placed a hand over hers.

"My dad...he kicked me out because..."

"Because...?" Billy asked.

"Because I'm pregnant." Rejection and fear flashed across her face before her eyes closed as if she were blocking it out.

"Where's your mom?" The girl slowly lifted her eyes to meet his.

"She passed away a year ago. I've been living with my dad ever since."

"I'm so sorry." _So sorry_. He rubbed at his chest. He knew too well the pain of loss. "I lost my parents five months ago."

She stared at him. "I'm sorry, too."

He nodded to her belly. "And the dad?"

Pulling her hands away, she covered her face. She had held firm until that moment. She hiccupped as she cried into her hands. "I...he doesn't want anything to do with me." Billy wanted to ask more questions, but she was in no state to answer them.

His hands fisted and shook with anger. How could someone do that? Abandon a child or turn away from the mother of his baby. Billy had to take deep breaths and swallow the desire to find these two men and beat the living shit out of them. After just meeting her and talking to her for a few minutes, he couldn't imagine turning her away.

"So where are you going?" His mind was turning, coming up with a plan for her.

"I'm getting a hotel room tonight then tomorrow... I'm not sure. I suppose, find a shelter or..." She shrugged. It was too much for a sixteen-year-old to deal with, let alone one that was pregnant.

"What about friends or family?"

"I have no one." He couldn't imagine it, but he believed her. His earlier behavior toward Freja embarrassed him now. He might be lonely, but he never experienced being truly alone. He'd call her back and apologize for being a jerk.

Billy pulled a napkin out of the dispenser and wiped the girl's face. With big eyes, she grabbed his hand and held it for just a moment before taking the napkin from him. That one moment of connection, when they touched and looked into each other's eyes, tattooed his heart. He could feel the shift in his life, the one he'd been waiting for.

Diane stopped by to drop off the shake. "You okay, sweetie?" She looked back and forth between them before her curious eyes landed on him. Her eyebrows pulled down, her lips tightened, and, with hands on her hips, she gave him a warning.

The girl didn't notice the unspoken words between them. She kept her eyes on her food. "I will be," she said without conviction behind her words.

"Diane, I've got this if you want to start locking up." Diane relaxed her stance and left them alone.

The girl lifted her head. "Oh... I'll be going then." She reached for her bag and moved to the end of the bench when Billy touched her arm. "Please sit, finish eating, and then we'll talk some more." He left no room for debate. She was hungry and hadn't touched her food yet.

He left her alone to find Diane in the kitchen arguing with Chuck. _As usual_. "Can you do me a favor and run upstairs and put clean sheets on the bed?"

"Yes, of course. You're doing the right thing. Your parents would've done exactly the same." Diane patted his arm as she moved past him.

His chest tightened. When was the last time he did anything that made them proud? Even though he wasn't doing it for them, the guilt he felt loosened its hold. Maybe taking care of this girl would be one way to make an amends for all of his missed chances.

When the girl finished, she took her dishes to the kitchen and pitched in without asking. Diane smiled at him as they watched her move from table to table, wiping them down and refilling the containers. From there, she swept and mopped, as if she had always done it.

When they finished and said goodnight to Chuck and Diane, he heaved her bag over his shoulder and took her hand. "Come with me."

She didn't pull away, but asked, "Where are we going?" Even though they just met, it warmed his heart to have earned her trust. Especially after the day she'd had.

He pointed at the ceiling. "There's a studio apartment above us. We can talk some more tomorrow. I'm exhausted, and you look dead on your feet."

She followed him up the back steps. As he unlocked the door, a cat that hung around the back entrance wound itself around her booted feet. She picked it up and before she finished the first stroke, the purring started—loud as an engine. The cat was normally skittish and never came closer than three or four yards to anyone; instead it waited for them to leave before eating the scraps they left. She smiled at him. "Your cat?" she asked. He shook his head and stared at the girl with the beautiful smile. It lit her whole face. No wonder the cat came to her. She was easy to like.

"It's a stray that hangs around."

"Is it okay if I bring him inside?"

"Sure." Her big smile turned brighter. It broke his heart in a different way to see her smile so big. He guessed it had been a while for her.

"Does he have a name?"

"Cat."

She laughed and repeated, "Cat? That's original." Billy shrugged and smiled at the sound of her laugh.

The door swung open once he got it unlocked. "The sheets are clean, so everything is ready. If you need anything, let me know. The phone is against the wall." He handed her a piece of paper. "This is my number if you need to get a hold of me."

"You don't live here?"

"No. I stay here sometimes when I'm too tired to go home, but I have a house not far from here."

"Thank you... I don't even know your name."

"Right... I suppose we should formally introduce ourselves. I'm Billy Hall. I own the diner."

She put her hand out. "I'm Bridget Larson."

"Nice to meet you, Bridget. I'll see you in the morning."

She said goodnight as he closed the door behind him.
Chapter Thirteen

# August 10:00 AM

## Billy

Billy climbed the steps to his girls' apartment after closing the diner early for Katie's party. The music coming from inside drowned out his knocks. He smiled to himself as he recognized the 80's mix CDs he'd given Bridget for her twenty-second birthday. Katie, who had a love of all things 80's, confiscated them a few years ago.

"Knock, knock," he shouted, opening the door.

He stepped into an empty main room but heard Katie belt out, "Let's hear it for the boy," at the top of her lungs from behind the bathroom door. Just as the shower turned on, muffling the music, Bridget popped her head out from behind her bedroom door, gripping the top of her robe.

"Hey. I'll be out in just a minute. I need to get dressed."

After thinking about her all morning, seeing her in just a robe was almost more than he could take. The view of her just out of the shower with her fresh face clear of makeup and a pink flush coloring her cheeks and neck made his heart race. He swallowed the lump in his throat as his brain registered what she said.

When Bridget closed her door, he slumped on the couch and concentrated on slowing his rapidly beating heart. Billy stared at the closed bedroom door, wishing he had a right to be in there. What would it be like to share her bedroom, shower together in the mornings, and watch her get ready for the day?

_Heaven_.

That's what it'd be. They already did everyday stuff together, and he loved every second of their time together.

Just as Billy's breathing returned to normal, Bridget swung the door open and motioned him in. "I still need to do my hair and makeup. You're welcome to come in—or wait. It's up to you. I...just—you know, didn't want you to be out there alone if you didn't want to. Or...whatever." She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Come on in," Bridget said with half a laugh. "I don't know why I'm being weird," she said more to herself than to him. Billy stared at her for a moment, surprised by how nervous she was acting.

Was it him or because of what was happening today?

"You coming?"

"Yeah—yes." He followed Bridget into her private space. The last time he was in there, it was dark and they were hiding from Katie. His heart beat as excitedly now as it had that night, except now he could see her clearly.

He silently took her in. She sat on the floor in front of the long mirror hanging on her closet door, her back to him. Billy couldn't take his eyes off of her or make his legs move forward. Just being in this space made his heart race. It was as if he were a fifteen-year-old boy going into a girl's room for the first time.

Bridget's eyes sought him out in the reflection of her mirror, noticing he was still standing. She turned around and asked him, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He shook his head and sat down on the edge of her unmade bed. Besides the corner, anywhere he positioned himself was only a few feet from her. Turning on her blow dryer, she gave him a much-needed break from speaking. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable by prying into her personal business. Instead, Billy tried to find an impersonal place for his eyes to rest when two framed photos on her nightstand caught his attention.

His heart skipped a beat when he realized they were both of the three of them. The first was at her high school graduation and the second at Katie's.

They appeared to be the happy family he had hoped they would be. How long had the picture of them at Bridget's graduation been here? He figured she had former boyfriends in her bedroom. He didn't want to read too much into it, but it gave him hope that being a family could still be a reality.

She turned off her blow dryer when she saw him pick up the photos. "I love those pictures of us." Bridget kneeled next to him, leaning over his shoulder.

Billy breathed in her scent, a mixture of soap and vanilla-scented shampoo. He leaned back slightly to wrap an arm around her, giving her a better view of the precious images. Resting her weight against his side, Bridget reached for the frame with a shaky hand.

She lifted her head, meeting his gaze. With one look, all hope of restraint was lost. The shimmer in her brown eyes melted away any thought he ever had about patience or control, leaving behind only the love and passion he'd tried so hard to deny. Billy cupped her face with his large hand, pulling her closer to press his lips to her forehead and cheek. Her eyes closed as a sweet sigh escaped her lips. He let the anticipation and desire build. When he felt her breath on his face, Billy could no longer take it. He tilted her head as he guided their lips together. They held the kiss, neither pulling away nor pushing for more.

_Home._

That is what it was all about. A place where his heart would always be whole. It took everything Billy had to rein in his desire and pull away. When he looked at Bridget with her eyes still closed and her mouth open just enough to take in a ragged breath, he wanted to do it again. She was beautiful.

At the sound of the bathroom door opening, Bridget jumped and pulled back, breaking the spell between them. Her chest rose and fell in short, gasping breaths. Her face flushed with heat, and her eyes focused on his mouth. She was parting her lips to speak when Katie walked in.

Katie looked back and forth between them aware she was interrupting something. "I'll be ready soon."

"Okay, sweetie." Bridget gave Katie a forced smile before looking back at Billy. His arm tightened around her, unwilling to let her go, but with Katie watching there wasn't much he could do. He gave Bridget a final, imperceptible squeeze and helped her off the bed so she could finish her makeup.

"All righty... I'll be out here." Katie pointed behind her and refrained from asking what Billy knew she wanted to know.

Bridget returned to her spot in front of the mirror. The silence was awkward and heavy. Only one other time in their history had it felt like this, but the situations were entirely different. Had he just ruined everything? He wished he could read her mind or ask what she was thinking, but she wouldn't reply when Katie was within earshot.

Unable to sit still, he stood, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot, before sitting back down on the edge of her bed. When was the last time he felt this unsettled? The day already seemed long, and they weren't even halfway through it.

He smothered a frustrated growl when Diane poked her head in. He hadn't heard her enter the apartment. She's going to ask for the umpteenth time if he finally grew balls and told Bridget he loved her. Billy's avoidance skills were going to be tested today. He loved Diane, but sometimes...

"Hey, honey, guests are starting to arrive and a gorgeous man is waiting for you in Billy's office." Diane turned her eyes to him and smirked. "I think his name is Phil or Phillip." She was trying to stick a thorn in his paw, and it was working. If Diane had any idea who Phillip was, she wouldn't have been so cheerful. She was just as protective of the girls as he was.

His hands clenched at the sound of the man's name. He was the only person capable of destroying everything Billy needed and wanted in his life, and having Phillip near Billy's girls was going to make him crazy.

"Okay. Thanks, Diane." Bridget's voice shook with every word, and the smile she tried to force didn't reach her eyes. Their eyes met again in the reflection in the mirror. She was still shaking when she brought the mascara wand to her lashes. It fell from her fingers, making her swear as it left a black streak down the front of her shirt.

Bridget humphed out her frustration and yanked the top over her head in one motion.

Swinging the closet door open, she pulled out another. Billy wasn't sure she realized she had taken her shirt off in front of him.

A fourteen-year-old memory flashed across Billy's mind—her twenty-first birthday and the slow slide of the zipper as he unfastened her dress. It was a favorite, but not a good one to have at the moment. Billy couldn't seem to catch his breath as he stared at her. Everything about Bridget pulled at the very center of his soul, but seeing her in just a bra frazzled his brain.

She blushed when she realized he was watching her. Pulling the shirt on, she turned back to the mirror to finish applying her makeup. He probably should've felt guilty, but all he could think about was her pink bra. She looked good in it, and he could imagine her looking even better without it.

She interrupted his PG 13 thoughts, which were careening wildly toward an R rating, when she said, "I need to talk to him before the party." The tremor in her voice was slight, letting Billy know she had almost regained her composure. She was doing better than he was.

"I know." He didn't intend to sound harsh, but he hated everything about it. He hinted that he wanted to be there with her, but Bridget had ignored him. She was no longer the scared sixteen-year-old girl who needed him. She was strong, and Phillip no longer had the power over her he used to.

Bridget reached for Billy. This time she touched his cheek and looked into his eyes giving him a weak smile. "You don't need to worry, Billy." That didn't banish his uneasiness. Nothing would, not when it came to Katie and her.

Billy reached out for Bridget, placing a hand on her waist and pulling her close. Tucking her head under his chin, resting his cheek on the top of her head, he let her scent and her softness comfort him. "You don't have to see him..."

Billy prayed she would take this chance to back out. He wanted an opportunity to tell that man off.

"Billy, please, stop. This is hard enough."

"Are you going to tell me everything that happened between you two?" he asked.

"Yes." Her voice wavered, but her reply was firm.

"Tonight." It wasn't a question.

"Okay."

"We're also going to talk about that kiss. We have a lot to discuss."

Bridget sucked in a deep breath and nodded against his chest. "Tonight."

Without looking at him, she pulled away.
Chapter Fourteen

# November 1995

## Bridget

Bridget woke early after the most restful sleep she'd experienced in months. The stress of hiding her secret from her father had kept her up most nights.

Sliding out of bed, she stood and stretched. Her shirt rose above her belly, exposing her new outie belly button. As she peered at herself in the reflection of a large window near the bed, she noticed the big and the subtle changes her body had made. She rubbed her little bump, already madly in love with the human growing inside. Five months left until she would meet the little one. Only five months to figure out what she was going to do.

Last night, she had been too tired to look around, so this morning was her first real look at the studio apartment. It was one long, open room with a small kitchen area. The only walled area contained the bathroom and coat closet that also held a stacked washer and dryer. It was charming, and she loved it. The walls were brick with four tall windows across one wall, bringing in natural light. The furniture was outdated but in good shape. She imagined what she'd do with it if she lived there. It was strange to feel more at home in this space than she had in her father's house. The apartment was warm and inviting, even if it was a little bare.

Her stomach growled, giving her a warning. If she didn't get something in her stomach right away, she'd end up dry heaving into the toilet. Though she felt better than she had the first three months, she still suffered from morning sickness. It wasn't nearly as bad without the constant weight of worry sitting in her gut like a brick. Billy showed her compassion after just meeting her. His actions gave her a renewed hope for her future.

The first time her eyes met Billy's, time stopped. He scared her, but at the same time, he drew her in. She was aware of his every movement. She knew he had been watching her. She wanted to do the same but was afraid of getting caught. She got the sense that she'd known him before, but she would remember someone like him.

_Billy._

At the very lowest moment of her life, his offer of food and a place to stay lifted her.

She dug through her bag for saltine crackers, popping in two at a time, curbing the hunger and nausea at the same time. With a stomach that was slightly settled, she hopped in the shower, put on fresh clothes, and made her way down to the diner through the back door.

As Bridget stepped through the diner's back door, she waved at Chuck, whom she was surprised to see after their late night. Without asking, he handed her a plate of eggs, hash browns, and toast and told her to go sit and eat. She didn't argue. If it wasn't for the baby, she might have, but her baby came first, and she was starving.

She sat on the same stool as the night before, looking around, hoping to see Billy, but he was nowhere in sight. Diane placed an arm around her. "You look a little better this morning." Bridget could only nod with her mouth full. Another waitress rushed back and forth between the kitchen and the dining area; too busy to stop, she gave Bridget a warm smile. "Lauren, this is Bridget, the gal I told you about from last night." News traveled fast.

"Nice to meet you, Bridget," Lauren called over her shoulder.

Still chewing, Bridget gave her a small wave.

Within minutes, Bridget's plate was practically licked clean. She took it back to the kitchen, dropping it in the sink. She looked around the kitchen then back at the increasing pile of dirty dishes. Everyone was too busy to pay attention to what she was doing. She slid an apron over her head and got to work. Halfway through the pile, Diane stepped up to Bridget and bumped her hip. "Thanks! You saved me. Our dishwasher called in sick this morning, and I was not looking forward to rushing back and forth between cleaning dishes and waitressing." Bridget smiled and blushed. Bridget didn't say it, but it was the least she could do.

The morning flew by, and before she knew it, Billy walked in through the back door, surprise showing on his face. "What are you doing?" he asked. Her stomach did a quick somersault. His facial features, which looked so harsh last night, seemed softer somehow. He slid his hand through his shoulder-length hair still wet from his shower. She slowly released a breath, letting her brain catch up so she could answer.

"Attempting to pay you back." She lifted her fingers one by one as she counted each thing he did for her, making sure he knew she kept track.

"You don't owe me anything, but I appreciate it. This is a huge help. Why don't you come with me so we can talk some more?" He waited for her to dry her hands and pull off the apron before guiding her to his office. Billy closed the door behind her, offered her a seat, and sat across from her behind the heavy metal desk.

He looked at her belly then met her eyes. "How you feeling today?"

"I had the best sleep I've had since..." Out of habit, she rubbed her stomach as she spoke. She couldn't remember the last time she slept so well. Before her mother got sick, she guessed.

"After we talked last night, I came up with a few ideas—you know—about your situation."

"Don't worry about me. I'm going to check out the shelters."

His brows furrowed as he shook his head. "I don't like that idea." Before she could respond, he said, "This is what I was thinking. You work here on the weekends and during the dinner rush. You can live in the studio apartment for as long as you need. The pay isn't great, but you can eat your meals for free here. I do have one condition, though." Bridget sat up straight, curious as to what he was going to say. "You have to finish high school." He leaned back in his chair to wait for her to respond.

She wasted no time. She was on her feet, walking around his desk. He looked confused as he stood to meet her. She wrapped her arms around him. Her whole body shook as she released all the pent-up stress and worry of the past few months. He held her, letting her cry it out. In the short time she'd known him, her affection for him doubled. "Thank you. I'll never be able to repay you for what you're offering me. I swear. I'll do everything I can to make it up to you. I'll be the best employee you've ever had," Bridget promised.

He held her face in his hands, wiping her tears with the pads of his thumbs. "You owe me nothing, Bridget. You will never owe me. I want you to take care of yourself and your baby."

"I am. I will," Bridget promised as she stepped away. "Thank you, Billy," she said one last time.
Chapter Fifteen

# March 1996

## Billy

"Chuck, add extra vegetables and salad to the order." Bridget narrowed her eyes at Billy. She was two days past her due date and getting grumpier by the minute. "Don't give me that look. The book said you need more vegetables." Billy pointed to what he referred to as the "Pregnancy Bible". On the advice of one of the regulars, he bought it a few days after he met her.

She picked it up, chucked it across the dining room and turned back to scowl at him. "If I want more vegetables, I'll ask for them." He expected her eyes to shoot lasers and her head to start spinning. Up until a few days ago, she was upbeat and happy. But the cute, friendly girl disappeared behind a massive belly, swollen ankles, and an ugly temper. The poor thing looked miserable. Today was the first time she had agreed not to work. He'd been begging her to take a break for weeks, but her stubbornness always won out.

"Never mind, Chuck. Bring out her greasy food that has no nutritional value," Billy teased. If he thought she was pissed before, he was sorely mistaken.

Bridget wobbled off the stool and headed to the kitchen with barely a glance back at him. She was cute when she was pissed. It was hard to tell she was pregnant from behind, but once she turned to the side, there was no mistaking it.

Billy couldn't help himself, he followed her and stood near his office as she made herself a huge salad and sat on a chair next to the back door. "Happy?"

As a matter of fact, he was. This was the most entertained he'd been since she showed up months ago. In a matter of weeks, she became part of the family, and all the regulars loved her.

At least once a day, someone left a gift for the baby. She hated it, not the gift itself but people buying her things. Bridget was adamant about supporting herself and her baby girl. It was one more thing he admired about her. The list was getting long. In a matter of weeks, being around her had changed Billy's mood. He only knew because Diane loved to point it out. He couldn't help it. He liked her. He liked helping her. He felt...needed.

Even though she hated gifts, he and Diane snuck looks at the Sears Catalog she carried around that had items she wanted, circled. With every paycheck, Bridget bought something from her list. A few months ago, all the employees put their money together and bought her a crib and the bedding set she had her heart set on. Under her angry glare, Billy could tell she appreciated it. She thanked them, but it was hard for her to accept the gift. After much arguing, she even allowed him to set it up in the apartment. At least once a week, while she was at school, he left an item from the catalog on her doorstep.

Neither mentioned it.

Mid-bite, Bridget dropped her fork onto her plate and grimaced. "I think I'm done eating. I'm not feeling so good."

_Oh my God._ This could be it. He ran to the dining room to pick up the pregnancy bible and looked up labor pains. Billy flipped through the book, reading the signs of labor. It didn't appear it was time yet, but he wasn't going to leave her alone tonight.

Diane stopped him on his way back to the kitchen. "She was complaining about her back hurting earlier."

"That girl!" He gritted his teeth. "Why didn't she tell me?"

Diane chuckled at his annoyance. "We need to take turns staying with her until this baby comes. I can take tonight and you can do tomorrow. Of course, we'll have to make something up so she'll let us stay." Diane shook her head at the thought.

"No. I'll stay tonight, and she doesn't have a choice." Billy marched into the kitchen determined to tell her what's what.

She was gone.

"Where'd she go?" Chuck pointed up and returned to flipping hamburger patties on the grill.

Before heading up the stairs, Billy called Freja to let her know that she could get a hold of him at Bridget's. "That's a good idea. Tell her 'hi' for me. And give the poor girl a break; you're acting like an obsessive older brother."

"She's alone..."

"I know. I know. Go be with your little, pregnant friend. Call me if anything happens."

"Love you."

Freja laughed into the phone. "Love you, too."

He tucked the book under his arm and ran up the stairs two at a time. Billy made the mistake of not knocking and caught Bridget trying to pull her shirt off. "Here let me." It didn't faze him to see her; it was more fascinating than anything to see someone so tiny with such an enormous belly.

She shrieked at his voice and turned away. "Billy! Don't look." It was too late. He saw. Then it hit him; she's sixteen and had her shirt off in front of him.

"Sorry!" He turned around while she finished changing.

He could hear her struggle and grumble under her breath. This baby better come soon, before she started tearing people apart. He wondered how she handled school when she was like this. "Do you have a bag ready?"

She humphed and asked, "Bag?"

"Hospital bag," he clarified.

"Oh. Yeah. I'm not done packing. I'll do it tomorrow. I'm too tired now."

"I'll help you." Billy didn't want to have to do it when she was already in labor, assuming Bridget asked him to come with her. Not that he was going to wait for an offer; he was going regardless. Even though he had no experience with babies, let alone a woman in labor, he'd been studying. Bridget asked Diane to come with her, but he and Diane had the same amount of experience. Diane might be motherly, but she had no desire to have kids of her own.

"Billy. Go. Home."

With his back still turned, he smiled at her agitation. "I think I'll stay tonight if you don't mind."

"I do. I'm tired and grumpy."

"So am I," he said cheerfully.

"Ugh. Fine." A pillow hit him in the head, followed by a blanket.

He was relieved she let him win this one with barely an argument. She must really not be feeling well.

After making a bed on the couch, Billy waited for her to fall asleep before he started packing a bag for her and the baby. His bag was already set and waiting in the truck.

Bridget and he had created a baby corner near her bed. The corner had a crib, dresser, and a rocking chair. Two bookcases filled with books from garage sales divided the space between her bed and the baby's. A curtain hung to one side, keeping the area dark so Bridget wouldn't have to keep all the lights off when the baby was sleeping.

In the short amount of time she'd lived there, she had transformed the apartment into a little home. He enjoyed his time with her after work. He'd built furniture, hung out and watched movies on the old TV, and helped her with homework.

It fascinated him to watch her belly grow and to see her glow with happiness. At times, sadness hung heavy over her but never for long. He wanted to ask more questions about her parents and the father of the baby, but every time he brought them up, she found a way to avoid his questions.

Billy let it go, hoping one day she would trust him enough to talk about it.

His affection for her had only increased. She tugged at his heartstrings with her cheerfulness and bravery. She worked her little heart out day after day, rarely taking a break. She was up first thing in the morning, helping with the morning rush until she had to go to school. She came straight home and after a snack and a nap, she worked the dinner rush then did her homework until she crashed. Not once had she complained, even when he started telling her what to eat for the baby. He also made her take a walk every evening. Doctor's orders. She huffed at his bossiness but never complained.

This girl was going to be a mom soon and a great one. As her due date drew closer, then passed, his excitement increased. He couldn't wait to meet her baby girl.

_Girl. She's having a girl._

He smiled to himself. A week after she arrived, he drove her to her first doctor's appointment. Scared, she asked him to come into the exam room with her. It was awkward until the doctor put a Doppler on her belly and they heard the heartbeat for the first time. Billy took her hand and squeezed it as he experienced one of the most incredible moments of his life. She was growing a human being. He never put much thought into it before, but that day he saw it for what it was, a miracle. A few weeks later, they did the same thing as she got her first glimpse of her daughter on the ultrasound machine.

Bridget smiled as they watched her little girl wiggle around for the camera. He cried big crocodile tears. It was Billy's first time experiencing anything like that. When they returned from the doctor, he framed the ultrasound picture and hung it up behind the register. She smiled every time she passed it. And soon, Bridget's baby girl would be on the outside. That part scared him. He'd never even held a baby before. Diane talked him into secretly taking a Dad-to-Be class, where he learned how to bathe a baby and change diapers among other things, but they only used dolls.

Bridget startled him when her eyes popped open and she sat up abruptly. He followed her eyes to the wet spot on her pajama bottoms. "I think I just peed myself."

Billy jumped up and ran around in a circle before he pulled himself together. "Your water broke." His voice was unusually high pitched.

"How do you know?"

"The book." Billy pointed to the infamous holder of all pregnancy knowledge.

"I'm going to have a baby." Bridget smiled at the empty bassinet next to her bed. Then her face pinched and her hand rubbed her lower back. "I need to pack my bag."

"Got it." Billy lifted the bag that he placed by the door.

She looked at him, and with a half-smile, she shook her head. "Of course."

She went to her dresser and pulled out clean clothes and changed in the bathroom. He stood by the open door impatiently waiting for her to finish. He watched the clock, waiting for her to complain about another pain.

She casually walked out, taking her own sweet time. He was moments away from picking her up and carrying her to his truck. She needed a hospital. Now. She slid on a pair of flip-flops, the only shoes that fit her swollen feet. "Hold on. I need to make a phone call."

"Bridget," he warned.

Bridget lifted her brows in return. "Billy." She mimicked his tone. "Just give me a minute."

Flipping through a notebook near the phone, she found the number she was looking for. Nervously, she held the receiver in one hand. It took her a minute before she entered the phone number.

"Hi. Yes, is Phillip there?"

_Phillip?_

"Are you sure? Can you double check?"

_The father._

It was the first time Billy heard his name.

"Fine. Then can you leave him a message for when he gets home from his date?" Her voice strained. He wasn't sure if she was on the verge of crying until she turned to the side and realized she was pissed.

"Tell him...tell him to meet Bridget at Flagstaff Medical Center."

"Yes, Shawn, it's me, Bridget. B-R-I-D-G-E-T. He knows who I am." She sighed with annoyance. If Billy had any idea where this kid lived, he would beat the shit out of him and his friends for giving her grief.

"Please, just tell him."

"Thank you."

Just as she hung up the phone, she moaned in pain.

Billy checked his watch and made a mental note of the time.

Once the pain subsided, she turned around and said, "I'm ready."

Bridget held her baby girl with an ease of an experienced mother. Looking at her, you wouldn't know she went through hours of labor and near the end cried that she couldn't do it.

They made a beautiful picture. Billy had never seen anything as tender as the love in Bridget's eyes for the sweet package in her arms. At that moment, he wished that they were his, that he was a part of this family. He wasn't in love with Bridget by any means. He loved her, but she was very much too young. But he could envision himself with them. It was a strange feeling, and he wasn't sure what to do with it.

When the doctor placed the baby on Bridget's chest for the first time, Billy and Diane cried their eyes out while Bridget grinned and cooed at her bundle. Up to that point, Bridget kept the name a secret. When she caressed her daughter's cheek and opened up the blanket and counted her fingers and toes, she said, "Hello, Katherine Bree Larson. It's nice to meet you."

Diane's eyes shined as she asked about the name.

"Katherine for my mother and Bree...just my name shortened." For a split second she frowned, before sighing and lifting her daughter so she could kiss her cheeks. "I love you, Katie," Bridget whispered.

Billy melted. Right then and there. Bridget handed him her daughter swaddled in a pink blanket with a pink and white striped cap over her thick brown hair. She looked like a piece of candy all pink and sugary. He whispered his own words to her. Diane swears that it was impossible, but when he called Katie Sweets, she smiled at him. "It's gas," Diane repeated.

After Diane had left with Chuck and the rest of the crew from the diner, Billy was left alone with Bridget and Katie. Bridget sat on the hospital bed, eating food, or something resembling it while he had a moment alone with Katie. A protective instinct hit him in the chest. He whispered a promise to Katie, who had nodded off, that he would always be there for her and Bridget. And he would.

"Coffee. I need coffee." After a busy day yesterday and being up all night, he was losing momentum. He could nap, but he was too afraid something would happen to the girls if he did. He knew it was irrational, and if asked, he'd blame it on the lack of sleep. "I'm going to head to the cafeteria. Do you want anything?" Bridget shook her head, barely taking her eyes off her daughter. "Is there someone you want me to call?" He noticed that the only people who showed up were the employees from the diner. No friends, no Dad, and no Phillip. She didn't look at him when she shook her head no.

_Nobody._

He didn't understand it. Everyone who met her adored her. She should've at least had some friends at school who'd like to know. But as his brain scanned through the past five months, he realized, nobody came to see her, she never talked about friends, and never did anything with anyone outside of the diner. Once again, his protective side went on high alert. He'd always be there for her.

As the door closed behind him, he heard a man's voice ask for Bridget's room. He turned the corner to see a tall and broad, college-age kid standing next to the nurses' station. He wore a baseball cap over shaggy hair, his face was scruffy, and his eyes—a distinctive light blue color—had dark circles under them. Wrinkled clothes hung from his form. They appeared to be too big for him, surprising consider his large size.

One of the nurses pointed in Billy's direction and said, "Room two fifty-four."

The kid replied with a mumbled, "Thanks," and made two steps toward the room.

Billy stepped away and stood against the opposite wall, watching the kid, wondering what he was going to do.

The kid walked to the door and placed a hand on the door handle, but that was as far as he got. His hand jerked away and met his other behind his head. He leaned his forehead against the wall, mumbling something to himself. He pushed away from the wall and paced to the door twice before leaning against the wall again, taking in deep breathes.

Billy couldn't watch anymore. This kid either needed to man up or leave.

_He's leaving._

Phillip pulled his ball cap low on his forehead and headed for the elevator. Billy couldn't believe it. What kind of person did that? Impregnates a girl then abandons her? He wanted to rip the guy to shreds for what he did and was doing at that moment.

"Phillip," he called out.

The kid's head shot up, and he looked at Billy curiously. "Do I know you?" he asked.

"No. I'm a friend of Bridget's."

"How is she? How's the...the baby?"

"Bridget's doing great, and her daughter is perfect."

"Daughter," he repeated. Of course, he didn't know she was having a girl. He would've had to actually talk to her to get that kind of news.

They stared at each other for a few tense moments.

"Don't tell her I was here." And just like that, Phillip turned away. Instead of taking the elevator, he shot through the door leading to the stairway.

"I wasn't planning on it," Billy said to nobody.

Before heading to the cafeteria, he made a stop at a pay phone. He pulled out the number he looked up weeks ago and dialed.

It rang several times before an answering machine picked up. "Hi, Mr. Larson, my name is Billy Hall. I'm a friend of your daughter's. I thought you'd like to know that she gave birth this morning. She's still at the hospital but should be released tomorrow. She's in room two fifty-four." Billy hung up and crossed his fingers that at least her dad would try to make contact.

Billy glanced at the baby girl snuggled in her car seat then over at the girl who had one hand resting on her daughter and the other lay at her side as her head leaned against the window. She looked lost in thought as he drove them to his house. Before he turned down his street, she sighed as she stared out the window. "He didn't come." Her voice broke, but no tears fell. If anyone had a right to break down, it was Bridget. Her melancholy only lasted a few minutes, but once she glanced at her daughter, it was gone. Her smile broke out and she whispered, "Just me and you, kid."

His heart broke a little more. He had to do something. Anything. She shouldn't be alone.

"What are we doing here?" Bridget asked.

"I thought it would be better for you two to stay at my place for a few weeks before you head back to school. It's quiet and nobody will bother you. If you stayed in the apartment, you'd have a line of people knocking on your door.

She smiled and nodded. "Thanks for always thinking of me—us. I don't say it enough, but I appreciate it. I mean it."

Billy blushed at her acknowledgment. "I'm here for you."

After getting Katie settled in her bassinet, he and Bridget relaxed on his couch. Billy wanted to let her sleep, but he wanted to talk to her about something he thought about after their conversation in his truck.

"I have an idea. Before you say anything, hear me out," he announced.

"Okay," she said sleepily. She leaned into the corner of the couch; her eyes growing heavy.

"I think we should get married."

She sat up straight and blinked as her mouth fell open. "Billy...are you crazy?"

"No, hear me out. I have a house that fits us. Katie could have her own room. You could too until—you know—you were ready or we shared a room. I can take care of both of you. I could adopt Katie, and then we could be a family."

The whole time he spoke, she shook her head. "No."

"No? You didn't even think about it."

"I don't have to. You don't love me."

"I do. I mean not in the marriage way, but we could grow to love each other, and I could take care of you two."

"I appreciate it; I really do, but I want to marry for love, not for a sense of responsibility.

"It really is a no?" Billy couldn't explain why he was so hurt by her refusal. On one hand, he was sort of relieved, but on the other, he'd never asked a girl to marry him before. It kind of stung to hear a no.

"Yeah, it is. Plus, you have a girlfriend. Remember?"

_Freja._ He never called her back. In fact, he hadn't even thought of her until Bridget mentioned her.

Bridget raised her brows as he realized the insanity of his idea. As she yawned and stretched, she thanked him for the offer. "I'm going to hit the hay."

"Good night, Bridget."

"Good night, Billy." She gave him a sweet smile before heading off to bed.
Chapter Sixteen

# August 11:00 AM

## Bridget

"He kissed me."

Bracing herself against the back door of the diner, her fingers grazed her lips. She could still feel the heat of his body and his warm lips against hers. Her heart rate hadn't slowed down yet. All she could think about was running back upstairs to ask him what the kiss meant. "Was he just comforting me? Does he feel sorry for me? Or could he... NO! Don't get your hopes up, Bridget. You'll only be disappointed." She glanced around, making sure nobody could hear her talking to herself.

Before leaving, Billy promised to distract Katie while Bridget met with Phillip. Her thoughts were so focused on Katie's departure and the attention Billy had been giving her, she almost forgot Phillip was coming.

"I don't want to do this," Bridget groaned.

She swung open the back door, revealing a busy kitchen. They closed the diner after the breakfast rush to prep for Katie's party. The usual smell of fried food was replaced with the scent of chocolate cake. Employees lined up along the counter, chatting and laughing while making sandwiches that would feed the guests.

Bridget slowly placed one foot in front of the other. Each step became more difficult than the last. It had been five years since she last saw Phillip, and that meeting had not gone well. They'd been talking a couple of times a week since May, but she was still dreading this moment.

She poked her head around the open office door to peek at the profile of the man she once loved. Phillip was studying the pictures of Katie's life that lined Billy's office walls. When they were young, he'd used his large size to intimidate. He was still large, but his dark frame glasses, worn jeans, and casual collared shirt gave the impression of being relaxed and approachable.

She thought she was past the hurt and the loss of what she wanted so badly as a lonely, grieving, sixteen-year-old. But watching him gaze at pictures depicting the significant life moments of a daughter he didn't know was almost too much. Memories of their time together, the good and the bad, as well as all her disappointed hopes and dreams, bombarded her, just like they had the last time she saw him.

This time, though, she had to be stronger for Katie's sake. As she watched, his eyes moved to the picture of her and Katie on the day she was born. His shoulders slumped, and he sucked in air, letting it out in a sigh. She didn't have to wonder what he was thinking when she noticed tears stream down his cheek.

He'd apologized more than once, but it was seeing him so vulnerable that broke the last bit of the wall she'd built between them.

She stuffed her hands into her pockets and leaned against the doorframe. Stilling her nerves, she interrupted the silence, "That one was from her Senior Prom."

Caught off guard, he bumped the picture and it crashed to the floor. "I'm sorry." He picked it up and stared through the cracked glass at the photo of his daughter and her date.

She took a few steps into the room. "He was her second boyfriend. They had been going out for a few months before the Prom, but they broke up right before he left for college."

His face softened when he asked, "Was she heartbroken?" Bridget's heart softened a bit more at his fatherly concern.

"Yes." Katie had cried for days and still had a thing for him, but Bridget didn't tell Phillip that.

"What about her first boyfriend?"

Bridget held back a growl at the thought of that punk. "He's lucky I let him live." She didn't expand.

Phillip's fists tightened. He got the idea. "I wasn't here."

"Don't blame yourself. I should have—"

"Nope. We're not doing this. We both made mistakes. We have to move on from here and be the parents she needs. If she'll allow me to. It's obvious she and Billy are close, but I hope there's room for me."

"Yeah. He's always been there for her." For us.

Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Phillip stared down at his feet. "I'm jealous of their relationship, but, at the same time, grateful he was here for both of you." Phillip had to clear his throat before finishing. "It should have been me." The pain was evident. At that moment, she realized that maybe she had the easy part. Dealing with the guilt had to be ten times worse.

"I don't know where I would be if it weren't for him." She spoke more to herself than to Phillip.

Phillip turned to face her, their eyes meeting for the first time. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Are you two—"

She didn't let him finish. "Friends, just friends. He isn't in love with me." Or so she thought up until a few minutes ago when he had his lips on hers.

"Are you?" Phillip turned back to the wall of pictures. It was as if he wasn't quite sure he wanted to know. He was the last person Bridget ever expected to share her feelings with, but there was no harm in him knowing.

Not wanting any of the employees who might pass by to hear, she stood next to him, facing the same wall and whispered, "So much it hurts."

"I expected or maybe hoped to find you happily married with more kids. I still can't believe it's not your life."

"Me either." She had hoped too.

"You're still young, Bri. You never know."

Swallowing a sob, she fought to catch her breath. No one called her Bri except for him. It was always a symbol of his affection for her. She no longer loved him, but the memories still lingered along with the hurt.

Phillip cleared his throat and turned to face her. "I have a million regrets, Bri. My biggest was abandoning you and Katie. It couldn't have been easy for you."

Bridget quickly covered her mouth, choking back the tears. All the hurt of the past eighteen years flooded back fresh and painful.

He placed an arm around her shoulders in a move to comfort her. Her body stiffened under his touch, but he never let go, and she leaned into his side. "I love Jenny and the kids, but every day they show me what I missed not being here for Katie...and even you. I'm not sure we would have made it if we had gotten married. There was too much baggage between us."

She nodded her head. He was right. As much as they loved each other, they were too young and immature to handle marriage and family, at least as a couple. But it would have been nice to have a partner to parent Katie with.

He pointed to the pictures of their daughter. "But I should have been there for her. I should have fought harder. I look back at the first time I came to see you. I could tell that you were waiting for me to man up, and when I didn't, your disappointment was apparent. It's why it took me so long to come back. I'm so sorry."

No longer able to hold back, she cried for the frightened sixteen-year-old girl she once was, for the loneliness of raising her daughter on her own. Tears streamed down her cheeks for all the late nights worrying about money and wondering if she was doing a terrible job as Katie's only parent. Even with Billy and Diane, she often felt alone.

"I loved you, Bri. More than I realized, and I should have been there for you. Please forgive me."

He pulled her into his arms. "Bri, please don't cry." Her body shook as the tears increased. He tightened his hold on her as she leaned her head against his chest, letting him comfort her. He was always good at that until...

They stood in the small office and held each other. She needed comfort, and he needed her forgiveness.

"Hey." A soft but firm voice called from the doorway. Bridget pulled back, wiping her eyes. Billy stood in the doorway, looking back and forth between them. "You okay, Bridget?"

She nodded, unable to use her voice. She snatched a few tissues and wiped at her nose and eyes. "I'm okay. I promise." She gave Billy a weak smile, but his expression didn't change. His brows pulled down tightly and the muscles in his jaw clenched as he gritted his teeth. "I'll be out front if you need me."

The sound of his boots blended into the noise of the diner. She closed the door and turned back to Phillip. The silence lingered as they searched for something to say. By unspoken agreement, they turned to study the pictures of the person who connected them.

"She's beautiful and looks so much like you."

"Except for the eyes. Those are all yours." She wiped the last of the tears and gave him a smile. "Jennifer isn't here?" Bridget asked. It wasn't until that moment that she remembered him saying that they would be here. Looking at him, she wondered what kind of woman he married.

_Why her and not me?_

"We agreed the first meeting should be with just me, so I dropped her off at my parents' house."

Another little stab poked at her already bruised heart. For years, she hoped his mother would come looking for Katie, but it never happened. She expected the cold shoulder from his father but held out hope for his mother. She had always been kind, and Bridget could imagine her being a wonderful grandmother.

He must have read her thoughts. "Don't be mad at them. I didn't tell them about Katie until you got in contact with me in May."

"Wow. Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Her hurt flared to anger. "Believing that she was rejected by your parents was bad, but you treating her like a terrible secret is worse."

He shook his head and took a step toward her. "She's not a terrible secret, Bri..."

She questioned him with a raised brow.

"I wasn't ashamed of Katie." He ran his fingers through his hair and pulled at the ends. He used to do that every time he argued with his dad. Seeing the young boy behind the face of the man he grew into softened her anger. "I was ashamed of myself. My mother still hasn't forgiven me. She probably never will."

He placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing lightly. "She always liked you, Bri. Be angry with me, not them. Even my dad wants to meet her. He's mellowed in his years and loves being a grandpa. Hopefully, one day soon, she'll be able to meet them."

Bridget inhaled sharply as she ached with conflicting emotions.

"Oh, God, Bridget. This isn't how I wanted today to go. I'm sorry. Everything I say is upsetting you, and it's the last thing I wish to do. I want us to be friends and have a relationship for Katie's sake."

"I do too. Honestly. I thought I was over this. Apparently, I'm not." She shook her head in frustration. She'd cried more the past few days than she had in years. "Excuse me for a minute." She stepped into the bathroom connected to the office.

Splashing cold water on her face, she wiped away the black streaks running down her cheeks. Her makeup was a lost cause for now. "So, are you okay with the plan?" she asked, avoiding any more talk about their past.

"Let's see. You introduce us. We get to know each other here. I spend time with her when she's at school before we tell her who I am. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"As much as I want to tell her today, I'll take your lead. You obviously know her better than I do. But, I don't want to go too long. I need her in my life. I want to introduce her to Jenny and her siblings."

"Right." Bridget never let herself think about his kids and how they are related to Katie. "She'll be thrilled to know she has a brother and sister. Everything else though..."

Phillip gave her a pointed look. "It's not going to be easy for anyone."

"True. I might not have the same relationship with her after this."

"Bri..."

She didn't want to think about it any longer. Saying goodbye today was going to be tough enough without worrying about what might happen when her daughter found out the truth.

"We should head out front. It sounds like the party has started."
Chapter Seventeen

# May 1997

## Billy

Billy smiled at an adorable little face that was so close his eyes crossed. "Who loves you?" he asked.

"BB." Katie squished his face between her hands and squealed when he tickled her tummy. He gave her a kiss on the top of her head before setting her down. Bridget stepped out of the bathroom with a graduation robe hung over one arm and her cap perfectly placed on her head with at least a dozen bobby pins, according to Diane.

The frown she'd worn since that morning was still there. He didn't understand it. This was a big deal, and she'd been dragging her feet, telling him she didn't want to go to her own high school graduation.

"MAMA!" Bridget bent down and lifted her fourteen-month-old daughter in her arms and gave the first smile he'd seen on her face today. "Katie!" she cheered. Of course, Katie's chubby little fingers went straight for the tassel on Bridget's cap and pulled.

Bridget grimaced at her hair being tugged as she gently pried Katie's fingers off the tassel.

Diane followed her out of the bathroom. "You ready, sweetie?"

Bridget pleaded with him with her eyes. He shook his head in response and chuckled when she sighed. "Yeah. Let's go."

"Chuck and I will meet you there." Diane pinched Bridget's arm before stepping out.

"Are you going to tell me why you don't want to go?"

"It's just a stupid, boring ceremony. I don't have to go."

"Come on." He put an arm around her. "I'm so proud of you." He lifted Katie into his arms. " _We're_ proud of you. Plus, Katie has been practicing yelling. You wouldn't want to let her down."

"So you're the one?" A sharp elbow hit him in the gut as she laughed, throwing her head back. Finally, he got her to smile.

* * *

After an hour of listening to speakers drone on and on, he rethought the importance of the ceremony. Luckily, Katie happily sat in his lap, chattering away in baby talk with her dolls that she carried everywhere.

As the Valedictorian spoke, his mind wandered through the past year. It was tough. No doubt about it, but he loved it. Two weeks after Katie was born, Bridget was back in school, finishing her junior year. Every morning, she struggled with leaving and after school, she rushed home to be with her daughter.

Her life consisted of early morning feedings, a quick breakfast as she dropped Katie off to stay with him while she was at school. Once home, Bridget spent an hour alone with Katie before putting her in a baby carrier and working the dinner shift. At night after they closed, she studied. Rinse and repeat.

He didn't know how she did it. During the summer, he gave her more hours, since she begged and Katie went to daycare for a few hours a day. He'd pick Katie up at noon so he could spend time with her.

Katie became his little buddy, his Sweets. His office turned into a nursery–slash–playroom for several hours a day. If Bridget had consented, he'd have taken care of Katie all day. Instead, Billy kept his mouth shut and allowed Bridget to be the parent and exert her independence.

By her senior year, Bridget only needed a handful of credits to graduate, enabling her to go to school for half the day. She was home by lunch, giving her a few extra hours with her daughter. There were days she resented having to rely on others, especially him. She said so.

One day, he noticed she had kept a tally on the fridge of what she 'owed' him for rent and minor things. Their agreement was she wouldn't pay rent until after she graduated. When he asked her about it, she told him she wanted to pay him back someday when she could. He didn't doubt it. Even though it annoyed him at times, Billy admired her for her determination.

"Finally," Diane muttered under her breath. They were calling the names of the graduates as they received their diploma. Once Bridget's row stood up, his eyes never left her. She looked uncomfortable and not any happier than she had been earlier in the day. When they called her name, Chuck, Diane, Katie, and Billy stood and cheered. Katie screamed, "Mama!" A chorus of "Awww's" came from the audience.

Bridget smiled and blew a kiss to her daughter and waved.

After the ceremony, a smiling Bridget made a beeline straight for them. When she was only a few feet away, a redhead stopped her and gave her a forced smile. "Congrats, Bridge."

Barely glancing at the girl, she replied, "Thanks," and pulled her arm away from the girl's grip.

When Bridget neared, Katie jumped into her arms and gave her a big hug as the rest of us surrounded her. We each gave her our best side hugs since she wouldn't let go of her daughter.

Surrounded by new graduates taking pictures with their friends, it was glaringly apparent that Bridget was snubbed. "Do you have plans? I can take Katie for the evening if you want to go party and celebrate."

"No, no plans. I'd rather celebrate with you guys, if that's okay."

"Of course. I made reservations. I just remembered my graduation; ended up partying all night and not returning home until the following afternoon."

She chewed on her bottom lip as she looked around at her fellow classmates. "I didn't get invited to any parties."

It was a punch to the gut. He didn't mean to bring up a sore subject. He took her hand and held tight. "I'm sorry, Bridget." For so many things. She was too young not to get stupid drunk with the rest of her class. She shrugged and avoided making eye contact.

When he turned toward the exit, he noticed a man staring at them or, more accurately, her. Billy looked back at Bridget, who didn't seem to notice. She looked just like the gentleman who stood only a few feet away. Same nose and wavy dark hair. When he realized Billy caught him staring, he turned and disappeared into the mob of kids.

Billy turned around to see if Bridget noticed, but she was busy having a kissing war with Katie.

Not for the first time, Billy wanted to shake the man for being heartless. Why show up and not talk to her? Billy just didn't understand the man. It only made Billy more determined to be supportive of her. He would make up for the failures of the other men in her life.

As they sat down for dinner, Bridget asked, "Where's Freja?" He didn't say a word, just stared at her. "Not again." She smiled and rolled her eyes. "I don't get you two."

"Me neither." And he didn't. They were off...again. No doubt they would be back together in a few weeks, as usual. Whenever they spent more than a month apart, they'd call it off, but it never took long before one or the other wanted to try again. It was going to be a long two years before she graduated, and then she'd have residency. He wasn't overly concerned. Neither of them was ready for anything more, anyway.

After they ordered and their drinks arrived, Billy lifted his glass to toast. "Here's to starting a new chapter in your life."

Bridget smiled at her daughter then looked back to him as she tapped her glass against his. "To new chapters."
Chapter Eighteen

# August 12:00 PM

## Billy

"Why is she letting him comfort her?"

Barely able to contain his growing frustration, Billy paced outside the diner. The moment he heard Bridget shut the office door, he made a beeline for the diner's front door. He couldn't stand the idea of her being alone with Phillip.

"Are you talking about Bridget and that gorgeous man she's locked in your office with?" Surprised to hear someone reply to his ranting, he swung around to see Diane leaning against the wall, grinning ear to ear.

"Leave me alone. I'm not in the mood," he growled.

"You're going to wear out the sidewalk, honey." Her voice was sweet as sugar, laced with motherly love and an annoying amount of knowing.

"Diane," he warned.

"So that's Katie's dad."

"How did you know?" He stopped his movements just long enough to hear her reply.

"It's the eyes."

He nodded and continued on.

She took a hold of his arm as he passed by. "What's the matter?" Her voice was soft and comforting. She had her moments, but it didn't stop his blood pressure rising just thinking about Bridget and Phillip.

"He was holding her while she cried." He pointed to himself. "That's my job. I'm supposed to support her and wipe away her tears. Instead, I'm out here losing my shit." His voice rose until he was practically yelling at Diane.

She might not be a mom, but Diane had her 'Mom Voice' down pat. "Billy! You are not helping anyone by stomping around out here. Get yourself back inside and, at the very least, pretend to be cheerful to support Katie. I'm sure you're not going to want to explain to her why you're pissed off."

No one put him in his place like Diane. They'd grown closer since his parents' death, and even though she retired a few years ago, she was still active in his and the girls' lives. "I know. I just can't get these images out of my head. Phillip is squirming his way back into Bridget's heart before I have a chance."

"You've had plenty of opportunities." Her words were unsympathetic, but her tone was kind.

He shook his head. "You were there. Every time I thought there was a chance, someone came between us. Every. Single. Time." He ran his hands through his cropped hair. "Oh, God, please, I can't lose her."

"Oh, Billy!" Diane said exasperated with him. "Shit, or get off the pot."

He stared at her for a moment then burst out laughing. Leave it to her to shock him out of his emotional outburst. She smiled at him and patted his arm. "Stop being a chicken and tell her how you feel. I'm positive that you will be pleased with the outcome. But, for now, get inside. Katie's waiting."

She left him alone to pull himself together. He straightened his posture and shoved his hands in his pockets, ready to make his entrance when two cars pulled up. With a forced friendly smile, he opened the door for the party guests and followed them inside. He weaved through the throngs of people to get behind the counter, making sure to keep space between him and any distractions. He focused his eyes on the swinging doors leading to the kitchen and his office in case Bridget needed him.

"Billy? Earth to Billy?" Katie tugged on his shirt, drawing his attention.

"Sorry, Sweets. What were you saying?" He put an arm around her and kissed the top of her head.

"Do you know where Mom is? I haven't seen her since she left the apartment."

"Yes." He kept his voice cool and controlled. "She's talking to an old friend. She'll be out soon."

"Good. I don't want her to miss it."

He was about to tell her not to worry but was interrupted by a group of screaming girls calling Katie's name. A huge smile crossed her face when Katie ran over and gave each girl a bouncy hug and squeal.

The image of her and her friends was another reminder of what he was going to miss. Everywhere he looked, he saw her.

When Katie was a baby, Bridget would turn on the jukebox and place the baby swing in the middle of the floor while she cleaned up at night. He could still picture her singing and dancing to the music while a sleepy Katie smiled and cooed until her eyes grew heavy and her head lolled to the side.

He could still picture a chubby-kneed three-year-old sitting on the counter next to the register, helping him cash out customers.

Once she was in Kindergarten, Katie would come home from school, jump in his arms, and give him a hug before 'she went to work' with her mama. Everyone called her Bridget's little shadow when Katie followed her around, taking orders and filling drinks at the pop machine. When she was old enough, Chuck taught her how to cook and prepare food like a pro. In the evenings, Katie and Billy sat in the corner booth while he went through the receipts and she did her homework.

Once again, Billy rubbed at his chest, trying to relieve the ache that had become constant. He was now only a few short hours away from having to say goodbye.

The sound of the swinging door grabbed his attention. Phillip stepped out and immediately, his eyes searched out Katie.

Billy waited for Bridget, but the door stood still behind Phillip.

"Phillip," he called out. Billy tilted his head toward the front door and didn't wait for him to respond.

Before the door closed behind them, Billy turned around and asked, "Where's Bridget?"

Phillip put his hands up as if he were waving a white flag. "She said she needed a few minutes."

With barely contained anger he warned, "Don't hurt her again. If you plan on leaving or breaking Bridget's heart, I will come after you."

"Whoa. Calm down. I have no intention of hurting her or Katie. I don't know what you thought back there, but I'm a happily married man. Bridget is a good woman, and I'm thankful she is the mother of my daughter, but that is it." Billy took a deep breath and relaxed his shoulders. "She's not in love with me, anyway. You're much more likely to hurt her than I am."

Billy's hands fisted. Everything he had ever done since he met Bridget was to keep her from being hurt. "I would never hurt my girls," he defended.

"Your girls?" Phillip lifted a brow but didn't wait for Billy to respond. "What I mean is, she's in love with you."

Billy shook his head in disbelief.

"I knew it the first time I came to see her before I left for law school. I was ready to beg for forgiveness and ask her to take me back, but I saw the way she looked at you and trusted you. I just... I knew. I knew that even if she were able to forgive me, she'd have never left you."

_Did she love me then? Did I waste all these years for nothing? He can't be right._

A memory flashed in his mind of the time he and his girls were sitting at their tiny kitchen table having dinner when Katie announced she wanted him to be her dad. Without the slightest pause, Bridget told her, "I'm sorry, Katie, but we don't feel that way about each other." Her response was the reason he hadn't pursued her at the time.

"I need to say something," Phillip said, interrupting his thoughts.

"Go ahead."

"I want to thank you for all that you've done for them." He choked on the words as he held back tears. "When I was weak, you were strong, and I'll always be grateful to you."

"Don't thank me. I'd do anything for them."

"I know. Billy, I'm not trying to take them away from you, but I want to get to know my daughter. It's obvious that she loves you and see's you as her dad, but I'm going to have her in my life if she'll have me."

Phillip's sincerity was plainly evident, and, for the first time, Billy understood why Bridget forgave him. He put his hand out. Phillip gripped it and shook.

"One more thing." Phillip pulled his hand away and took a step toward the diner door. "Considering what I've done to her, I'm the last person who should be saying this, but either let her go or hold her tight. For her sake. She deserves someone to love her, and if you can't, let someone else." He let the door swing closed behind him.

Phillip was right, he didn't have a right, but his words gave Billy a certain sense of peace knowing that he was concerned about her. After taking a few deep breaths, Billy followed him inside.

His eyes met Bridget's right away. Phillip whispered something in her ear when he gave her a side hug. She nodded with a smile.

Not again. His heart raced with his need to come between them. He was never going to get used to this. It was no longer just him and his girls.

Billy took the last few steps to stand next to Bridget. Without looking at him, she slid her hand into his. Her touched relaxed him immediately.

Bridget looked to Phillip. "You ready to meet her?"
Chapter Nineteen

# August 1998

## Bridget

Katie squirmed in her seat as Bridget tried to unbuckle her car seat. "Billy's home?" Katie asked for the millionth time.

"Yes, Katie, Billy's home." It had been the longest week of her life. Billy went to stay with Freja, and every day, all day, Bridget had to hear, "Where's Billy?" and "When's Billy coming home?" Then today it was, "Is he home yet?" Bridget was close to losing her mind. She understood. Billy and Katie were practically glued at the hip, and this was the first time he spent more than a night or two away. She had missed him, too.

The days were long, and their nightly phone calls too short. They'd speak for a few minutes then he'd talk to Katie and listen to her ramble about her day. She loved that Katie had Billy and couldn't help feel a tinge of jealousy at their relationship.

Once out of her seat, Katie ran around the building to the front entrance. She cupped her hands around her eyes as she pressed her face against the glass door. "Billy!" she squealed. Katie reached for the door handle and pulled with all her might, determined not to let a large, heavy door get between her and her Billy.

Bridget's heart raced as she got closer. She hated to admit how much she missed him. Every morning, as she got the diner ready for the breakfast rush, she'd kept expecting him to walk through the back door with wet hair, smelling of soap and aftershave. She missed his good morning smile. The way he'd entertain Katie during the busiest times of the day or how he'd elbow Bridget and ask, "How are you?" multiple times a day.

When Bridget reached the door, she peered in to see Billy leaning against the counter with his arms folded and his eyes drawn into a scowl. "That's not good." His eyes were focused on a man who sat in one of the booths.

"Mama!" Katie whined as she pulled on the door.

"Okay. Okay." Bridget swung the door open, and Katie shot through the small opening and ran to Billy, screaming his name.

He dropped the glare and his arms as a huge smile took over his face. He bent down and picked her up. They did their big "MUWAH" kiss on each other's cheeks. "Love you, my Billy."

"Love you, my Sweets. I missed you."

When Katie's arms wrapped around his neck and squeezed, he looked over her shoulder and gave Bridget a worried look. Then his eyes moved back to the man who stood up from the booth. That's when she noticed him.

"Bri?"

The sound of his voice stunned her silent. Bridget could feel the blood drain from her face. Her knees became weak as she sucked in a breath. She hadn't seen him since she stood on his front porch, begging him to help her.

As he took a step toward her, her eyes shot to Billy's. He understood without her saying a word.

He rearranged Katie in his arms, so Phillip couldn't see her. "Let's see if Chuck will make you a grilled cheese sandwich."

"Yay! Grilled cheese."

"Do you want apples or grapes?" he asked as they went through the swinging door to the kitchen.

She turned to Phillip, whose eyes stayed on the closed swinging door.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "That's her."

_No! No! NO!_

_How dare he look at her!_

The diner was empty except for them. Billy must have said something to the waitress to keep her from coming back out to the dining area.

Phillip returned his stare to her. "You look good."

For a split second, Bridget saw the Phillip she had loved and was pleased to hear him say it, but then the crushing hurt returned. She stayed silent, waiting for him to explain why he was there.

"Are you okay? Is...?" He pointed in the direction Billy had carried Katie. She realized at that moment that he didn't even know her name.

"Her name is Katie, and no thanks to you." She kept her voice at an even keel, trying not to let the pain show.

"I've thought and worried about you and Katie."

"Thinking didn't stay up at night when she was sick or put food on the table or help me finish high school."

"You're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I wanted to come by and tell you I'm leaving for law school."

She stared at him unsure what to say. Why would he tell her that? "You want me to congratulate you?" Bridget didn't bother keeping her disdain from her voice.

"No. I'm not sure why I'm here. I ran into Tiffany, and she said that you worked here and I thought..."

"I haven't talked to her since graduation. How does she know where I work?" She held up a hand and shook her head. "Never mind. It doesn't matter." Taking a deep breath, she asked, "What do you want, Phillip?"

He stepped closer as she held her ground. He wasn't going to intimidate her. "Do you think you could talk to me without contempt?" he asked.

"No." Absolutely not.

He sighed. "I'm leaving soon and I...I'm not sure what." He ran his fingers through his hair, pulling on the ends. He took a deep breath and said, "I love you, Bri."

She flinched at the words she begged him to say to her three years ago.

"I haven't dated anyone since you."

She shook her head. Why would he lie? She pointed to the door. "Leave. Now."

"I'm not leaving until we talk."

"What is there to say? You didn't believe she was yours. You didn't come to the hospital when I had her. You never once looked for us. Why now?"

"I want to make it up to you. I'll be here if you let me."

"How?" She fisted her hands and felt her anger rise. "You just said you were leaving. How exactly are you going to be here for us?"

"Please, Bri."

"Stop. Calling. Me. Bri!" Bridget screamed.

He held his arms out. "I'm begging for a chance here."

"I believe those were my words. You turned your back on me, and now you want me to welcome you back into my life—our life—like nothing happened?"

"You can't keep her from me. I'm her father."

"You. Are. Nothing," she spit out.

He pinched his eyes closed for a moment. "You lied to me, Bri! I'd have... God Bri. You lied!" he repeated. "Don't do this! I have rights."

A calm settled over her and hurtful words flew out of her mouth. "We're fine without you. You did me a favor, and you did her a favor. She's surrounded by people who want her and love her. She doesn't need you."

He blanched at her words and turned away from her. She'd done it. She'd hit him where it hurt. But it didn't make her feel better.

"You might be right, Bri—Bridget, but I deserve to have a relationship with her."

"Deserve? What makes you think you deserve anything? You're nothing but a sperm donor. You abandoned us! I had nowhere to go. My father kicked me out, and you pushed me away. You deserve nothing from me or her. She's not yours; she's mine, and coming into her life now would only confuse her."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I was scared."

"YOU? You were scared? You poor thing." Sarcasm dripped from her words. He had no clue what real fear felt like.

He opened his mouth to respond, but Billy pushed through the swinging doors and stood next to her. "Leave. They don't need you!"

Phillip looked back and forth between her and Billy. He made his way to the door. "I'm leaving, but I'm coming back," he threatened.

Once the door closed behind him, she turned to Billy. "Where's Katie?"

"Diane took her upstairs...before you started yelling," he reassured her.

She released a heavy breath as her body trembled. The pent-up anger and fear was catching up to her as the words, 'You can't keep her from me,' rang in her ears.

"He's going to come back." Her voice trembled.

Billy pulled her into his arms. "If he comes back, I'll take care of it. You have nothing to worry about."

She leaned into him, accepting his comfort. "I need Katie. Can you find someone to cover my shift tonight?"

"Of course. We still on for coffee and donuts tomorrow?"

She gave him a forced smile. "Yeah. I missed it last week."

He rubbed his hands the length of her arms. "Me too."
Chapter Twenty

# June 1999

## Billy

Taking another pull from his beer, he leaned his head against the back of the couch. Why did it bother him so much? He left the diner twenty minutes ago after watching a customer flirt with Bridget. That wasn't the bad part; it happened often enough. This time, instead of rolling her eyes, she...she blushed then smiled when she stepped away from the booth.

Billy remembered the guy from the day before coming in with a group. Today, he was alone and flirting. It was bound to happen, but Billy didn't like it. Bridget was almost twenty and gorgeous. The worst part, she didn't know how beautiful and desirable she was.

Before Billy left, he sicced Bridget's man deterrent, Katie, on the would-be Romeo. But instead of retracting his invitation for a date, the admirer knelt on the ground and introduced himself to Katie and even made her giggle. That was the last straw. Billy couldn't stay after that.

_Preston._

For some reason, even his name annoyed Billy. He appeared to be nice, and, for a split second, Billy enjoyed seeing Bridget happy and smiling.

He shook his head. "She's too young."

"Who's too young?" Startled at the sound of Freja's voice, he spilled his beer on his shirt.

"Nobody. Nothing. What are you doing here?" He made a weak attempt to sound happy to see her, but she saw right through him.

She lifted a brow and repeated her question.

He sighed as he pulled his T-shirt over his head and wiped the wet spot on his chest. "Bridget."

"Too young for what?" She closed the front door and plopped down next to him on the couch, leaning against his shoulder.

"Freja, it's nothing. I was just talking to myself."

"Why won't you answer the question?" He knew better than not to answer. She could be relentless.

"A guy came in a few times and flirted with Bridget."

"Good for her!" She slow clapped as she gave him a big smile. "Has she gone on a date since Katie?"

He took another sip of beer and shook his head. "Nope."

"Wow. She's way overdue. Oh my gosh. Has she had sex since Katie?"

"What? Why would you ask... Are you... Geez, Freja! It's none of our business." Except, he wondered the same thing. He hoped not. She was still young and vulnerable, but he didn't know what she did on the nights he was with Freja.

"Settle down, big brother. She needs grownup time once in a while."

"I'm not her big brother," he mumbled.

"Whatever. You act like it sometimes. The poor girl probably gets lonely. I'd go crazy if it were just me and a kid."

"She's not you," he muttered.

"I'm well aware of that." She poked his stomach. "Why are you so uptight?"

"Because, she doesn't realize how amazing she is, and this guy could take advantage of her."

Freja pulled away and looked at him curiously. He could see questions brewing, so he asked his own.

"So what's up? I didn't expect to see you until next weekend." It worked. Her inquisitive stare turned into a huge smile.

"I have great news."

He pulled her onto his lap and gave her a kiss. "What's this great news?"

"I'm moving to Flagstaff. I got the internship."

"That's wonderful." She kissed him hard and deep. His hands roamed over her body, taking her in. Before it could escalate, she pulled his hand away from her breast and detached her lips from his. "What are you doing? Aren't we going to celebrate?" he teased.

"First, we need to discuss something." Her voice was all business, but the intense look in her eyes worried him.

"This sounds serious." His hands escaped her grasp and were leaving a trail from her ankle to her thigh.

"Since I'm moving here, I thought that this might be a good time to move our relationship to the next level." His hand stalled on her thigh as he pulled his lips away from her neck.

"Next level?" _Why would she want to ruin what they had?_

"Why do you sound so scared? It's not that big of a deal. I'm not asking you to marry me, but I thought that I could move in here with you. You have the space."

_Move in?_

It never occurred to him that she'd be ready for that.

"While you're thinking about it..." Her hand slid from his chest to the button on his shorts. He stiffened in her hand, but he was no longer in the mood.

He pushed her hand away and forced her to slide off his lap. "I don't appreciate you springing this on me now."

"Springing it on you? We discussed me getting the internship here, and we've dated for four years. I assumed that this is where we were headed." Her voice rose with every word.

"We've known each other for four years, but how much time have we spent together? We're not ready for that."

"What you mean to say is that you're not ready. Does your reluctance have anything to do with the _amazing_ Bridget?"

"What? Of course not."

_Or did it?_

"Just making sure."

"What's the hurry?"

She rolled her eyes. "You're kidding, right? Will you even consider it?"

He shook his head no. "It's too soon."

She pushed herself off the couch and stalked to the door. "You're such a child sometimes."

"You don't need to call me names because we disagree. We rarely see each other. How do we know that we'll get along if we live together?"

"How else will we find out if we don't? Ugh! You drive me crazy, Billy. I love you; you love me. This should have been a no-brainer." In a huff, she left, slamming the door behind her.
Chapter Twenty-One

# August 1:00 PM

## Bridget

Phillip took a quick breath. "Yeah. I think I'm ready."

Bridget took his hand and squeezed. "Do you need a few more minutes?" His face paled as he wiped sweat from his brow.

"I've wanted this for so long, and now that it's here... I'm not sure what I'm going to say. I can't believe I'm finally going to meet her," he confessed. "Do you mind if I call Jenny first? I need her support right now." He gave a strained laugh that ended with a sigh.

"Go ahead. You can use Billy's office. We'll be in the corner booth when you're ready."

"Thank you." He turned and disappeared behind the swinging doors.

She shook her head. Her feelings for that man had changed drastically in such a short time. At one time, she couldn't imagine feeling anything but hate, and now they were almost friends. Or, at the very least, friendly.

Billy tightened his grip on her hand. "You okay?" His demeanor had softened since he caught her in Phillip's arms. He was her sweet Billy again.

She shook her head. "I'm anything but okay." Her stomach dropped at the realization that it was finally happening.

Letting go of her hand, he slid an arm around her waist and guided her to the booth. She wanted to cover his hand with her own to make sure he never let go. But he did. He let her in the booth first then followed close behind. She slid to the middle of the half circle, allowing enough room for Phillip and Katie to join them.

A sigh escaped her lips when he placed an arm around her and pulled her to his side. She wanted the right to be at his side and to have him touch her all the time. "Thanks for being here."

He lifted her chin with a finger so she could see his face. "I'm always here for you, Bridget."

"I know." Her voice was barely above a whisper.

Tightening his hold on her shoulder, he kissed the top of her head. Her heart broke just a little when she thought about going back to their normal friendship. She was going to miss his touches, and how right it felt to be in his arms.

Katie's laugh reminded her why she was sitting next to him. "I should've introduced them the first time he came to the diner years ago." She nervously adjusted and readjusted the place settings and wiped away pretend crumbs off the table.

"Bridget." He let out a long sigh and placed a hand on top of hers to still her movements. "You were protecting Katie. No one can blame you for it."

She faced Billy and shared her greatest fear. "Katie might."

He shook his head 'no'. "Katie loves you."

"Will she forgive me for not allowing Phillip to be in her life? She was only a toddler when he came looking for us. They could've had a relationship this whole time, but I was too afraid of him hurting her...and me."

"They're just meeting today, right? Give them a chance to get to know each other before you worry about something that might not happen."

"Billy..."

"I get it. She might be upset, but your relationship is stronger than this. She knows you love her and that you've done everything you could for her."

"I can't lose her, Billy. She's all I have. Phillip at least has a wife and two other kids. It's just me and her."

Exasperated, he said, "You're not alone, Bridget."

"You know what I mean. We're not together. I'm not with anyone."

He silently looked away, proving her point. How she wished he would prove her wrong.

An awkward silence hung between them until Phillip slid into the seat on the other side of her.

"Feeling better?" Bridget asked Phillip, who appeared much more relaxed than he had twenty minutes ago.

"Yes." He smiled and let out a strained laugh. "For now." Phillip's eyes were on his daughter, who sat at the long counter with her close friends.

"Let me get her." Bridget offered.

"I can wait until they leave before we make introductions." It was sweet of Phillip to offer, but she could see that he was anxious and wouldn't be able to wait much longer.

"It's okay. They've been out late every night this week. Plus, I told her that there was someone I wanted her to meet. She's waiting for me to get her."

"Billy?" She bumped his arm to get his attention. "Can you let me out?" He slid off the bench and offered a hand to help her out.

She walked up to Katie and her friends and hugged her daughter from behind. "Hey, sweetie. You ready?"

"Yeah. I just need to say one last goodbye." She hopped off her stool as all five girls let out an "Awww" in unison, causing Bridget to laugh.

"It's going to be so quiet around here without all of you keeping me entertained."

"Come here, Mama Bridget." Lindy, Katie's best friend since preschool, gave her a warm hug and promised she'd stop by to visit every chance she got.

"I want a promise from all of you," Bridget warned as she gave each girl a hug goodbye.

"Don't worry, we'll visit. As long as Billy is here."

"EWWWW! Don't talk about my Billy like that." Katie cringed and made a gagging noise.

"Bridget, you have to admit he's hot for an old dude," Lindy said a little too loud. Bridget looked over her shoulder at Billy, who was barely containing a grin.

"Yes. He's very hot for an old dude. Now, I need to steal my daughter." Bridget waited for Katie to say goodbye then led her to the table. She sat down first, scooting next to Billy, giving Katie enough room to sit.

Bridget reached for Billy's outstretched hand under the table and didn't let go. He gave her a warm smile and looked to Phillip.

"Katie, I'd like you to meet my...my friend, Phillip. Phillip, this is my daughter, Katie."

With a huge smile on her face, Katie put her hand out. Phillip's hand visibly shook as he reached for Katie's. She didn't seem to notice.

His voice shook as he spoke. "It's nice to meet you finally."

"It's nice to meet you." Katie, who'd always been naturally friendly, seemed unsure and looked at Bridget quizzically. Bridget hadn't told Katie much besides wanting her to meet an old friend.

It was awkwardly silent for a moment. Phillip couldn't take his eyes off Katie as she sat uncomfortable with all eyes on her. Bridget broke the silence. "Phillip and his family live about an hour away from the university."

"Oh, I see!" Katie laughed then wrapped an arm around Bridget. "Mom is being over protective. Did she ask you to keep an eye on me?"

"I...uh," Phillip stammered unable to respond. For someone who had to speak with confidence for a living, he was barely getting through the introduction.

"He's not going to babysit you. I want you to know someone close by, in case you need anything."

"Yes," Phillip finally spoke. "My wife, Jenny, and I would love to get to know you and have you over. We have two kids. Kayla, who just turned ten, and James, who is seven and a half."

"Oh. Do you have a picture?"

"Yes, I do." He reached for his phone and flipped through it until he pulled up pictures of his kids. A small trickle of sweat on his forehead had increased and was dripping down his cheeks. When he was younger, he had always appeared confident, even at times when he wasn't, but today he was a wreck. For a moment, Bridget considered calling Jennifer so she could be here with him. He didn't seem to be doing well.

"You have a beautiful family." Katie looked at the picture, then at him, then back to the photo. "You're kids have your eyes."

It felt as if all the oxygen in the room was sucked out with one comment. Katie stared at Phillip with a half-smile then to her mother. Did Katie notice that they were the same eyes that she had? The table went silent, except for the thump thump thump of Bridget's heart. "Oh God," Bridget whispered. Billy tightened his hold on her hand then used his other to soothingly rub her arm.

"Yeah, I guess they do." Phillip picked up a napkin and wiped at the sweat on his forehead and neck.

Katie tilted her head to the side and squinted. "Are you sure we haven't met before? You look familiar."

"No, we never met. I think you were around two when I last saw you."

"So how long have you known my mom?"

"Let's see. We met when Bri was fifteen?" He looked to Bridget for confirmation.

She nodded.

"Whoa. Bri? That's my middle name? Katherine Bree Larson." She turned to face Bridget. "Is he why you named me Bree?"

Billy's grip tightened while Phillips jaw hung low. "Actually, yes. I always liked it when he called me Bri, and I thought it went well with your first name."

"That's cool. You guys must've been close friends." Nobody said a word, but Katie didn't notice. "Okay, where were we? You were about to tell me where you two met."

"Oh...yes. We...uh..." It took Phillip a few seconds for his brain to catch up.

Bridget wasn't sure she'd recover from the minor heart attack she'd had waiting for Katie to make the connections.

"I met her and her friend Tiffany at a party."

"You know Tiffany?" Katie said excitedly.

"Yeah. She was dating a friend of mine at the time."

"I bet she was exactly the same as she is today. Kind of crazy and fun?"

Phillip chuckled. "Yes." He looked over at Bridget. "I didn't know you were still friends with her."

"Yeah. About eight years ago she came to see me and we...talked." Bridget looked at her daughter and smiled as she hid how she actually felt about Tiffany. Tiffany apologized, but she hadn't changed much since they were friends in high school. "She comes by to see us every time she's in town."

"So, you met Mom at a party? Did you date each other?" Katie asked.

"Yes, we did. For a few months."

It was coming. She could feel it. Katie's inquisitive nature always popped up at the most inconvenient times.

"Why did you break up?"

He hung his head down and fidgeted with the silverware on the table.

"You don't have to answer that!" Bridget said loudly, startling everyone at the table.

"Oh, Mom. Fine, don't answer, but can you tell me what she was like?"

"I can do that." He smiled at Bridget then back to his daughter. "She was—is—beautiful. In fact, you look just like her at that age. She was shy and sweet. Everyone who met her fell in love with her."

"Even you?"

A choking sound escaped Phillip's mouth.

"Katie," Bridget warned. She didn't want to talk about this, not when it still brought tears to her eyes.

"Especially me." He gave Bridget a smile before turning back to his daughter. "She was also brave. The strongest person I know. I wish I could have had her strength."

Bridget felt the tears well up behind her eyes.

_No. No. No. No more tears!_

They needed to change the subject before she broke down in front of them.

"So pretty much the same as today," Katie said with a laugh.

"Probably. I doubt she's changed. There was always something special about your mother."

Katie's eyes had barely left Phillip until he said that. She looked at Bridget as if she had never seen her before, or maybe Katie saw her for the first time through someone else's eyes.

Billy spoke up for the first time since they sat down. "Will you excuse us? I need Bridget's help with a few things before she takes Katie to the airport."

"Sure." Phillip slid out, allowing Bridget and Billy to leave them alone. He looked relieved not to have them as an audience.

Billy dragged her toward the kitchen, but she pulled her hand away as they neared the swinging doors. She turned and looked at Phillip and Katie, who seemed more at ease. He leaned in, smiling and nodding his head as she talked animatedly with her hands. Bridget wasn't sure if she should be happy about it or not, but peace filled her as she watched them get to know each other.

"Everything is going to be okay," Billy whispered in her ear.

"I know." She turned to Billy. "There are some things I need to tell you," she said. It was time for her to tell him about her and Phillip.

She slid her hand into his and followed him to his office.
Chapter Twenty-Two

# July 2000

## Billy

At the sound of his knock, he heard the patter of feet and an angelic voice yell, "Billy!" The door handle wiggled but didn't open. He waited, tempted to pull his key out. His heart raced with nervous energy. When Preston announced that he'd be out of town and unable to take Bridget out for her twenty-first birthday, Billy didn't think twice about offering.

The sound of shuffling feet and the lock being turned could be heard from the opposite side of the door. Katie didn't give him a second to prepare before she jumped into his arms. Her little body rolled with excitement. "Mom looks so beautiful. You're going to love her!"

He smiled at the happy little girl. "I bet she does."

"Your hair!" Diane made her way from the kitchen with two plates of macaroni and cheese for her and Katie. "You cut it!"

"Yeah. It was time." She didn't say a word but smiled as she forced him to turn around.

"Huh." That didn't sound positive. His long hair represented a time in his life that he no longer dwelled on. As much as he loved Europe, it was his past, and he was about enjoying his present. He needed the change.

"What does that mean?" he asked.

She shrugged her shoulders and took Katie from his arms. "Let's pick a movie." As Katie decided on which princess movie to watch, Diane said, "She'll be out in just a minute." With a wink, she said, "Katie's right, you'll fall in love with her tonight."

He loved her, but in love? Not going to happen. She was way too young and she was...Bridget.

It didn't matter anyway, she and Preston had been dating for a year, and Preston was head over heels in love with her and Katie. Billy hated to admit it, but Preston was a great guy. Billy also admired the way Preston treated Bridget. She was happy, and that's all Billy wanted for her.

The bedroom door opened, and the woman who stepped out almost knocked him off his feet.

"Holy smokes." He whistled his approval. His heart beat a little faster while a trickle of sweat rolled down his back. How would he keep his cool when she looked that incredible?

Billy surprised himself when the image of kissing her shiny pink lips forced all other thoughts out of his head.

_What's wrong with me?_

_She has a boyfriend._

"Look at me! I'm stepping out of my bedroom." He laughed as Bridget bounced in and out of her room.

As a gift for her birthday, he hired a contractor to put up walls, turning the studio into a two-bedroom apartment.

She ran into his arms and hugged him. "Thank you again!" When she pulled away, her jaw dropped as she gasped. Her eyes rested on his head. Bridget lifted her hand and ran her fingers through his short hair.

_Her hands._

_Whoa._ For the first time, he didn't see a young girl, but a woman. A very sexy woman. He was speechless.

With a smile, she whispered, "Sexy." Not a moment later, she blushed and covered her face with her hands. "I mean, you're always sexy." Flustered, she kept digging herself deeper. "It looks good short, not that I didn't like it long but...tell me to shut up."

_No way_.

She thought he was sexy? He chuckled and pulled her back into his arms, giving her a big squeeze. "Happy birthday. I'm glad you're enjoying your present."

"I love it. You give the best gifts."

Diane smiled knowingly as she sat on the couch eating her dinner with Katie kneeling in front of her with her plate on the coffee table. Billy remodeling the apartment for the girls after reaching the five-year anniversary of his parents' death meant that selling was no longer an option for him.

Katie left her spot next to Diane and stood between him and Bridget. "Isn't she the most beautiful woman you've ever seen?" A question only a four-year-old could get away with asking.

"Katie!" A rosy blush ran up Bridget's cheeks as she gave her a warning.

"I'm happy to answer." Katie looked up at him and waited. "Your mom is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." _Especially tonight. Wow_. He couldn't keep his eyes off of her. When had she turned into a woman?

Bridget bit her lower lip, hiding a smile. "Thanks, Billy."

She picked up her small purse lying on the coffee table and turned to him. "I'm so excited. There's nobody else I'd rather get drunk with," she said with a giggle. Even though he felt sorry she didn't get to experience some of the rebellious activities of youth, Billy was more than happy to experience them with her now.

He took her hand in his. "You ready?"

"Yes!" She bent down to hug Katie goodbye. "I'll see you in the morning."

Katie stepped behind her and pushed her to the door. "Bye." But as he followed them, Katie turned and pulled on him until they were eye level. "Love you, my Billy." She gave him a smacking kiss on the lips and hugged him. "See you tomorrow." Not a moment later, she was sitting in front of the TV, watching her princess movie for the thousandth time.

"Good night," he said.

Diane and Katie waved, but their eyes never left the screen.

"I think she has a crush on you," Bridget teased.

"Phew, at least it's not one sided. I love that girl."

They laced their fingers together as they descended the steps. When they reached the bottom, she gasped. "Limo?"

He shrugged. "Since we're planning on drinking, I thought it would be safer. You only turn twenty-one once."

"Billy, you shouldn't have. This must have cost a fortune."

"It's a good thing I'm paying for it then." He nudged her forward.

Her eyes were the size of saucers as she explored the vehicle. "I can't believe I'm riding in a limousine." Her smile brightened when she noticed a bottle of champagne.

Before she could ask, he opened it and poured them each a glass. "To being legal."

Her tinkling laugh filled the space as she repeated his toast. Her nose scrunched at her first sip.

"No?"

She shook her head as she set her glass down.

"Have you ever had alcohol?"

"I've had a sip of beer. Cheap beer you get at a college party. It was horrible."

Was she hinting at something? It didn't make sense. She said she wasn't a partier. If she didn't freeze up every time he asked about her past, he'd have her explain.

"I hope you're hungry!"

"Starving. I was too excited to eat today."

The limo pulled up to a hole in the wall restaurant. "I know it doesn't look like much, but they have the best Chicken Parmesan on the planet. You'll love it."

"That sounds wonderful." She didn't seem the slightest bit fazed by the less than appealing exterior of the old building. "Is this the place you and your parents went for Sunday dinners?"

"Yeah. I can't believe you remember." It had to be nearly two years ago when he told her. Even though he hadn't been back to the restaurant since he returned from Europe, it was a place he wanted to share with Bridget.

She smiled at him. "I remember everything you tell me."

He stumbled to a stop and looked at her.

"You okay? Did I say something wrong?"

"No, just the opposite." She raised her brow, expecting him to explain, but instead he placed his hand on her lower back and guided her inside.

"Oh my goodness. Billy! I can't believe it. Come here and give me a hug." A large woman with multiple chins and heavy arms pulled him into a hug. When she let go, she looked over his shoulder at Bridget. "Well, aren't you lovely. Is this a special occasion?"

"It is special." He took Bridget's hand and introduced her to Mrs. Brava. "Today is her birthday."

"Oh, wonderful. We'll sit you at our best table."

Their best table was a private booth in the corner with low lights and candles. He should have mentioned that it wasn't a romantic dinner to Mrs. Brava, but seeing Bridget so happy, he didn't bother to clear up the misunderstanding.

The food was as delicious as he remembered, but that wasn't the best part. He and Bridget spent two hours talking and laughing. He never felt so relaxed or comfortable as he did when he was with her.

In a word, she was charming. When they finished their dessert, he was reluctant to leave their quiet corner for a loud dance club.

As they were leaving, Mrs. Brava gave each of them a goodbye hug. "Everything was wonderful. Thank you!" Bridget gushed.

After promising to come back again, they left for the club. On the ride there, Bridget leaned back in the leather seats with a satisfied grin. She had one glass of wine with dessert, and now her cheeks were flushed and she giggled at everything he said.

She held onto his arm and leaned into him. "I'm having the best night ever."

He laughed at her proclamation. The wine was catching up to her. He would have to monitor what she drank for the rest of the evening.

* * *

Lights flashed around the room as the music blared. It reminded him of how much he hated clubs.

He guided her to the bar, where he ordered lemon drop shots, a beer for him, and a sex on the beach for her, since trying different alcoholic drinks was on her birthday to-do list.

They did their lemon drop shots first. By the smile on her face, he guessed she enjoyed it, but she loved the cocktail. "So good." The drink disappeared quickly and so did her inhibitions. He ordered a couple of waters in an attempt to slow her pace. At this rate, he'd have to carry her out of there.

They sat knee to knee, leaning into each other to speak. He couldn't keep his eyes off of her. She was incredibly beautiful. Her legs kept drawing his attention especially when she crossed them and uncrossed them. But that was nothing compared to her breasts barely contained in that dress. When she bent over to scratch her ankle, he gripped the edge of the bar and turned away. He didn't want to look at her in that way. But he couldn't help it.

He took a long pull from his beer and shook his head.

This is Bridget, Billy reminded himself.

Her easy laugh drew attention from a table of guys seated near them. When he slid a possessive hand around her waist, she shifted closer. He bit back a smile when he noticed goose bumps on her arms.

After looking at the clock, she pulled out her cell phone. "Everything okay?" he asked.

"Just checking to see if Diane called." He was surprised it took her this long to check on Katie.

"Don't worry. She's okay."

"I know. I'm not worried."

Liar.

"Excuse me for a minute. I need to use the ladies room." Code for _I'm going to call Diane_.

She proved him correct when she passed the bathroom and stood near the back exit with her phone to one ear and a finger in the other. He smiled and waited for her to finish. When she turned around and saw him leaning against the wall, she shook her head. "Don't look at me that way."

"I'm not." He grinned.

"I needed to check on her."

"I know." He loved her for it.

They made their way back to the bar and ordered a couple of waters. He didn't want the evening to end too early because she was drunk.

As they sat next to one another, he noticed out of the corner of his eye, one of the men, who had been sitting at the table of guys openly admiring Bridget. He made his way to the seat next to hers. Before the man could get comfortable, Billy tugged on Bridget's hand. "Let's dance." He was pretty sure she wanted to, if the way she stared at the dance floor was any sign.

"Oh my God! Really? Freja told me you never dance."

"I don't. But for you, anything."

She bounced on the seat, drawing attention to her breasts. Again. "Yay! I love being me."

He smirked as he took her hand in his and led her to the dance floor. As they reached the crowded dance floor, Billy told himself to muscle through it.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and leaned into him. She fit perfectly in his arms. Her softness and the smell of her perfume was enticing.

With her head against his chest, she sighed. "My arms are heavy." He tightened his hold around her waist and chuckled to himself.

"You're a sexy man, Mr. Hall."

"So I've heard." He could feel her smile against his chest.

"And you smell yummy. Just like...man."

He couldn't contain his laughter. Tipsy Bridget was informative and entertaining. If he asked her the questions she normally avoided, he wondered if she'd answer now.

"Can I tell you a secret?" she asked.

"You can tell me anything." And he meant it.

She lifted her head and looked into his eyes. His eyes focused on her pretty pink lips and how much he wanted to kiss them and didn't hear what she said. "I'm sorry. What did you say?"

"Preston asked me and Katie to move in with him."

Stunned, Billy loosened his hold on her. It was bound to happen, but...

"Is it me, or did we stop moving?"

"Sorry." He swayed to the song, but his movements were no longer slow and smooth. Bridget and Katie were moving out? Just the idea left a heavy weight in his stomach. He hated the idea of not having his girls around.

_His girls._

"I told him no."

An unexpected relief washed over him.

"I don't know why. I love him."

Her words were a punch to the gut. It shouldn't bother him that she's in love with her boyfriend. But it did.

"I should want to, right?"

He wanted to shout "No!" If they moved in with Preston, it would change everything.

"Why don't you?" he asked instead.

"I...I don't want to talk about it. Please, don't tell anyone."

"I won't."

Hours later, she fell asleep leaning against him on the ride home. He stopped drinking right after she exposed her secret. One of them needed to stay sober. Holding her tightly against his side, Billy looked at the woman in his arms and tried to deny the feelings that had been bubbling up. He thought back through the past year and realized that things had been changing for a while, but tonight...she was so much more than the girl he took in at sixteen. So much more. Billy swallowed the lump in his throat. How did he not see it before?

After a failed attempt to wake her, he managed to carry her up the stairs.

Still awake, Diane whispered, "How'd it go?"

"Good." He carried Bridget to her room and laid her on her bed. "I'm going to stay the night. I drank too much to drive home," Billy lied. He didn't want to explain why he felt the need to stay. "So you can head out."

Diane yawned and mumbled, "Sounds good. I'll see you later."

"Yup." He locked the door behind her.

He went back into Bridget's room to grab a blanket and pillow from her closet. When he turned to leave, he found Bridget standing on unsteady feet, trying to unzip her dress. "Can you help?" she whined.

She turned around and waited.

The lump in his throat was back. He'd been fighting his attraction to her all evening. It was pointless. She enchanted him. Billy loved her—every sexy inch of her.

He stepped behind her, lifting her sweat-dampened hair and placing it over her shoulder. His hands shook as he reached for the zipper. He tried to turn away as he exposed her silky skin with its spattering of freckles. What he wouldn't give to be able to touch her and worship her body. Once the zipper was down, he realized she wasn't wearing a bra and noticed the top of her thong. He pulled his hands away before he did something he'd regret.

_She has a boyfriend._

_Whom she loves._

She turned around, holding the bodice up with her arm and thanked him. He left the room, shutting the door behind him before he made the biggest mistake of his life.

After checking on Katie, he slid off his shoes, socks, and belt and unbuttoned his shirt. As he pulled it off, Bridget's door opened. She steadied herself against the doorframe, her eyes watching him. She looked sexy as hell in a T-shirt that barely covered her ass. His eyes went directly to her lean legs and followed the line. They stopped and stared at her hard nipples until he eventually commanded them to meet her eyes. But Bridget's eyes had settled on his newest tattoo. Her eyes widened as she stepped closer. Her eyes never left his chest until she stood in front of him.

Embarrassed, he tried to pull his shirt back on, but she stopped him. "Sweets," she whispered. Her fingers traced each letter as one lone tear fell down her cheek. She looked into his eyes and gave him a sad smile as she pressed her hand flat against his chest.

"You tattooed her name on your chest." With Bridget's hand still covering his heart, he placed his over hers and held it for a moment.

"She had my heart from the first moment I held her in my arms."

Bridget slid her hand from beneath his and wrapped her arms around him. Her body molded against his, and her hands grazed his bare skin. Her scent was making him crazy. He wanted her.

Billy closed his eyes, willing himself to do the right thing. She needed to go back to bed. If he kept holding her, he'd lose the last of his resolve.

"I wish it had been you," she whispered.

"What, sweetheart?"

She pulled away just enough to look into his eyes. "I wish you had been Katie's dad. She loves you so much. I love you so much."

Speechless, Billy cradled Bridget's face in his hands and kissed her cheek. She placed one hand behind his neck, pulling him closer until their lips met. He felt her heartbeat increase as they stood chest to chest. She opened her mouth to him, and he lost it. He expressed his love, affection, and wish for her in that one kiss. It was so much more than he imagined and, at the same time, not nearly enough.

He pulled away, taking a deep breath.

With heavy-lidded eyes, she pulled him back. "One more," she begged.

But his conscience caught up with him.

_She has a boyfriend, and she's drunk._

"You need sleep."

She shook her head. "I need you."

"Come on, sweetheart."

Bridget reluctantly let him guide her back to bed. He tucked her in and kissed her cheek. Within seconds, soft snores escaped her lips.
Chapter Twenty-Three

# July 2000

## Bridget

She lay awake in the early morning hours, trying to connect her memories from last night. _Billy danced?_ She rubbed at her eyes and smiled. He danced with her when Freja swore he never did. Something else niggled in the back of her mind, but she couldn't put her finger on it. She had fun. She knew that, but after their arrival at the club, her memory became a bit fuzzy. Pictures of him talking and smiling flashed in her mind like slides on a film.

The image of him shirtless with a tattoo shot her straight up in bed. She'd never seen him shirtless. It had to be a dream. But...she looked at her fingers then at her closed door. She'd touched his chest.

Bridget slid out of bed, opened her bedroom door, and peeked out. He lay sprawled out on the couch in only last night's slacks. His feet hung off the edge while one arm dangled off the side of the sofa and the other covered his face.

As she stepped forward, she looked at his chest. SWEETS. It was coming back to her. He'd tattooed her daughter's name on his chest—over his heart.

She sat on the edge of the couch, her hip touching his. Her fingers followed the lines of the letters.

_When had he done this?_

His hand lifted and settled over hers. Their eyes met. "Did I see this last night?"

He nodded. "Do you remember last night?"

She scrunched up her face in thought. "I remember dinner, bits and parts of the club and getting into the limo to come home, but the rest is..." Another image flashed through her mind.

She'd kissed him.

Please, say I didn't. Please. Please. Please.

With panicked voice, she asked, "We didn't..."

A knock on the door interrupted her question. Then she heard him. "Bridget! It's me."

_Preston._

Bridget prayed the kiss was only a dream. If she had kissed Billy, she'd never forgive herself. She loved Preston, and though, she wasn't ready to move in, she didn't want to jeopardize their relationship.

Her cheeks blushed when she realized she was just in a T-shirt. Then she looked at Billy and quickly turned away. "We should get dressed before I open the door. He'll think that..." She pointed back and forth.

With a scratchy voice, Billy sighed and said, "I know exactly what he'd think."

She hurried to her bedroom, to put on shorts and a bra then stepped back into the living room.

"Bridget?" Preston yelled through the door.

Her voice hitched as she shouted, "Coming."

What had she done last night? She fought hoping to remove the haze over her memory, but nothing.

Once Billy had his shirt on, she swung open the door. Preston lifted her in his arms and held her. "God I missed you. Happy belated birthday!" She melted into his arms as he gave her a deep kiss.

Something wasn't right. The taste of his kiss was different, he smelled different, even the scruff on his face rubbed her differently. But there wasn't anything about him that had changed. This was Preston, but last night...

When they released their hold, she turned away to wipe her mouth. Did she...? She turned to look at Billy, who was staring at her with the same intensity. She needed to talk to him and find out what happened.

"Oh, Billy, sorry, I didn't realize you'd still be here." Preston stepped toward Billy and shook his hand then asked Bridget, "Did you have fun last night?"

She gave him a half-smile. "I'm pretty sure, but I don't remember much."

"We did." Billy gave a forced smile.

"Did you keep her safe from all the guys?"

Another image came to mind of her leaning into him with his arm around her waist.

"I did," Billy said as he stared at her.

"I'm sorry. I wish I could've been there." Preston pulled her back in his arms and kissed her forehead.

"It's okay. You're here now."

"Thanks for staying, man, but I've got it from here." For a split second, Billy's eyes turned down and his hands fisted. Without saying a word, he sat to pull on his shoes and socks.

A sleepy Katie stepped out of her bedroom. "Morning." Her voice was groggy, but her smile was big. "Why are boys here?"

Bridget gave her daughter a forced smile. "Billy slept over last night because I wasn't feeling well and..."

"And I came to take my two favorite girls to breakfast," Preston announced.

Katie climbed on Billy's lap and leaned into him. "I want Billy pancakes."

An awkward silence filled the room. Of all the mornings for her to ask... Bridget smiled at Katie and cheerfully said, "That's a good idea." As Bridget lifted Katie to give her a hug, she looked at Billy, "if Billy is up for it."

"I am." Billy's body was stiff, and his face held no expression except when he smiled at Katie.

"Let's get the ingredients." Bridget carried her daughter to the kitchen and helped her pull the supplies out of the cupboards.

When Bridget glanced over her shoulder, the boys stood stiffly facing each other. Then she heard Preston. "Did something...happen last night?" he asked.

Bridget stood still, watching and waiting for Billy to reply.

Billy looked at her then back to Preston. "Besides lots of drinking? No."

Relieved, she took a shuttering breath. She wasn't a cheater.

It must have been a dream.
Chapter Twenty-Four

# August 1:30 PM

## Billy

_R esolved._

Billy could see it on her face. Bridget's head was held high, her shoulders back, and her facial expressions were controlled. She'd decided, and that was that.

It made Billy proud to see her so strong, except when it was directed at him. Today had been an emotional roller coaster, and he was ready to get off the ride. He never expected to be jealous, but watching Katie meet her biological dad, and then to hear him talk so lovingly about Bridget, had pushed Billy to the edge.

_His_ girls had relied on him for a long time, and he wasn't ready to give up the role as their protector. Every moment they spent with Phillip was one more step away from him. Everything Billy loved could be lost so easily.

He led her to his office and closed the door behind them. She let go of his hand and sat in the chair across from his desk but wouldn't face him. Refusing to be so far away, he dragged his office chair around the desk and placed it directly in front of her.

He waited for her to open up, but she stayed quiet, and her eyes focused on a rip in the carpet at the edge of his desk.

Bracing his elbows on his knees, he gently took both of her hands in his.

Still, she said nothing. The determination she held only moments ago disappeared behind her tears. He couldn't imagine what could be so bad that she would find it difficult to speak to him.

They had spoken openly about her mom and life pre-Phillip, but she never talked about him. Billy had always pictured them as two young teens acting stupid, but he realized today that they had actually been in love. It was obvious the feelings were mutual, considering how upset she got when Phillip told Katie that he'd loved Bridget.

Billy let go of her hand long enough to wipe her cheeks with a tissue. Giving him a slight smile, she took a deep breath. She was finally ready to talk.

"I lied to you."

That was not what he expected. His whole body froze, unsure of what to do. He held her hand and waited for her to keeping going.

"I spent so much time being afraid. I lied...by omission." She looked at him expectantly. He wasn't sure why. Maybe she thought he would get upset or reject her, but he never would. She turned her head away and went on.

"Like Phillip said, I was fifteen when we met, but he had no idea. He assumed I was eighteen, and I never corrected him. He didn't know my actual age until I told him I was pregnant."

So many questions passed through his mind. He tried to imagine her doing that, but it was so out of character for her.

"I was afraid of losing him and, at the time, I just...couldn't. He was the only good thing I had in my life. I needed his love and affection and wasn't about to give it up. He would've dumped me if he had any idea. So I hid it from him. You see? It wasn't his fault." Her words were desperate and held years of pain.

"Bridget, it doesn't make it right. He should have stuck with you."

"Maybe...maybe not. I'm not so sure there was a good right in this case. If he admitted that he was the father, my father could've had him arrested. There wouldn't have been a future for him. Every decision he made with me was based on a lie. He was—is—a good person, and he was good to me. We were young. We both made bad choices. I blamed him for everything, and I shouldn't have done that."

"I don't think you would say that if you knew what I know." He could still picture the boy leaving the maternity ward without seeing her or Katie.

"That he came to the hospital when I gave birth?" she asked.

"You knew?"

"Not back then, but he told me one evening when we talked on the phone."

"Wow. I'm surprised."

"Me too. But he wants to have everything out in the open. So do I. I also don't want you to hate him because of something I did."

"I don't. He looks at Katie as if she was the best thing in the world. I know that look."

"It's the look you give her."

"Yeah. He loves her. I can't hate him for that." As much as he'd like to. "But I'm jealous, Bridget."

"Jealous?" She stared at him with wide eyes.

"He's her dad. I want to be her dad."

The door swung open, startling them. Bridget jumped up and stared at the open door.

"Sorry to interrupt, again, but have you seen the time? I'm going to need to leave soon." Katie's timing was spot on...again.

"Did Phillip leave?" Bridget asked.

"Yup. But don't worry, he left his number, and we made plans to meet for lunch next week. He even invited me to stay with him and his family." She gave a sweet smile, and then her mouth opened wide. "He has a large house with a pool! I think we need more friends like him." She laughed.

"I'm glad. He's a good man, and I like knowing you'll have him close by."

"I know. You just want another set of eyes on me, but I love you, you overprotective mother of mine." She walked in and hugged Bridget. "I'm going to say goodbye to the last stragglers, then I'll meet you upstairs. I'm still not done packing my closet, but that shouldn't take long, and then I'll be ready." Katie looked over at Billy. "Can you help bring down my bags when I'm done?"

"Yes. I'm right behind you."

He swallowed his frustration. He wanted to finish the conversation he and Bridget had started, but there wasn't enough time. Bridget's face held unasked questions. They'd have to wait until tonight.

He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and followed Katie out of the room.
Chapter Twenty-Five

# August 2001

## Bridget

Preston stepped out of the office with a thousand-watt smile and a scowling Billy following behind. In fact, Billy looked as if he might break something—or someone. She loved these two men, but one didn't like the other.

It had been two years since Bridget had gone on her first date with Preston. He'd won her over with persistence and several references from his boss, friends, and, finally, his mother. Just the thought of it made her smile. Not only was Preston sweet, but fun and smart, as well. He had never made her feel inferior because of her lack of education or her job. Most importantly, he adored Katie and understood that to love Bridget meant to love them both.

Billy leaned against his office door, rubbing his hand over his chest.

"Diane, thanks for watching Katie overnight. You have no idea how much this means to me." Preston gave Diane a hug before putting a hand up for Katie to high five him.

"Oh. I have a pretty good idea." Diane gave them a knowing grin.

It had been six months since the last time Bridget was able to stay the night with him. Unless Billy was babysitting, she didn't like leaving Katie overnight, and with Billy's quiet hostility toward Preston, she hadn't dare ask him. Diane was more than happy to give them some much-needed 'grown up' time, but with her busy social calendar, she didn't have many free nights.

"You ready to go?" Preston tugged on Bridget's hand as they headed toward the exit. Katie gave them a wave and blew kisses as they stepped outside.

After the door had closed behind them, Bridget asked, "So what did you and Billy talk about?"

With a twinkle in his eye, he said, "You'll find out."

"Billy didn't seem happy."

"Yeah, I noticed." Preston gave her a sizzling kiss and kept her from asking more questions.

* * *

After dinner at their favorite restaurant, they went back to his house and kissed their way to his bedroom. They knew better than to waste a single kid-free moment.

He stripped her down, kissing her in all his favorite places. Hers too. She loved the way he made her feel sexy and desirable.

He held her close, chest to chest, as he looked into her eyes. "I love you, Bridget."

She gave a teasing smile. "I can tell." He smiled back, but the fervency of his stare made her nervous. The whole evening he had been a little more intense than usual, and she couldn't figure out why.

He took his time to kiss and touch her until she was begging for more. They had their fast and hard moments, but not tonight. After bringing her to the edge and pushing her over with just his mouth, she rolled them over, allowing her to be on top. She returned his love in the same slow fashion until he breathed out her name with his fingers threaded through her hair.

Satiated, he pulled her to his chest, spooning her from behind. "Have I told you how much I love that you're spending the night?"

"I think you might have mentioned it a time or two or hundred." She turned in his arms to face him. "I like spending the night, too."

"You do?" She wasn't sure why he seemed so surprised by her declaration.

"Of course." She kissed his lips in slow exploration. With one hand behind her head, he pulled her closer until their bodies melded together. He took his time cherishing every inch of her until finally bringing them to another climax.

Her last thought, before falling into an exhausted sleep, was how comfortable and safe she felt with him. He'd never hurt her the way Phillip had. Cuddling into his arms, she kissed his chest and whispered, "I love you."

Warm kisses on her back woke her. "Mmmm. You can keep doing that if you like."

He chuckled near her ear before he kissed it. "I have something I want to show you, so don't go back to sleep." She sat up, letting the sheet slide from her naked form. "You're killing me, Bridget. We'll never leave this room if you don't cover yourself." He handed her his shirt from earlier in the evening, and as she fastened the buttons, he groaned. "That was a bad idea. You wearing my clothes isn't helping."

When she stared at his naked chest and jeans slung low on his hips, she understood his sentiments.

"Never mind. I'll show you later. He wrapped an arm around her waist and laid her back, ravishing her mouth as his hands slid under the shirt."

"Ooh. No. You woke me up to show me something, and I have a feeling it isn't in here." She pointed to the bed.

"It could be." He gave her a mischievous grin.

"Come on." She resisted his pull with effort, climbed off the bed, and headed toward the hall. "What's so important you had to wake me up?"

He groaned into the pillow before forcing himself to meet her eyes. "It'll be worth it. Trust me."

He led her down the hall and stopped at one of the two spare bedrooms. She reached for the door handle, but he held her hand still. "Bridget, this room represents how serious I am about you. About us, including Katie."

"O-okay." She had a feeling that whatever was behind the door wasn't going to make her nearly as happy as it did him.

He gave her a quick peck on the lips. "I love you."

The moment the door swung open, her dinner tried to come back up.

_He didn't._

But he had. She tried to catch her breath, but it wouldn't come. Tears streaked down her face as she looked at what could only be called a Pink Palace bedroom. A twin-size canopy bed was placed in the center of the room. Against one wall sat a white vanity with mirror. Pink and purple baskets held lip gloss and fingernail polish in multiple colors. A tall white bookcase held toys and Katie's favorite books. Wooden letters spelling out her name hung over the dresser. The crowning jewel was an enormous wooden dollhouse in the shape of a castle. The bedroom was a Katie paradise.

He stood behind her with his arms wrapped around her waist. "Please don't freak out." _Too late._ Way too late. "Last week, when I got home from work and you and Katie were in the kitchen making dinner, I knew I wanted that. Forever. With you. Not the kitchen part, though that was nice." He smiled against her neck as he kissed it. "But I want to come home each night and know that you'll be here and that we'll never have to say goodnight at the door." He placed several more kisses on her shoulder as she stood silent.

"If she doesn't like it, we can redecorate any way she likes. There's an excellent private school only a mile from here, and I make enough to support us, so you can quit and go to school or whatever you want to do."

She wanted to turn around and tell him she wanted that life especially with someone who loved her as much as he did, but the words lodged in her throat.

The room was amazing, and she loved him for doing it, but the first thought that came to her mind was the excitement on Katie's face after Billy decorated her room in the apartment. That thought was followed by the one where she would have to tell him they were moving out. Just the idea left a sick feeling in her gut. It was the reason she said no to moving in with Preston last year.

She loved Preston. He was a good man, reliable...and safe.

He moved to stand in front of her, and with a huge smile on his face, knelt on one knee and took her hand in his. "Wonderful, lovely, fantastic, lovable Bridget, will you marry me?"

He held open a velvet box that cradled a white gold ring with a single solitaire diamond. Simple and beautiful. Something she would have loved to wear on her hand.

She held back a sob as she shook her head.

"Bridget?" He stood and cradled her face in his hands. "What's wrong?"

"I can't. I'm sorry." She pushed past him toward the bedroom, picking up her clothes on the way.

"What are you doing?"

She pulled off his shirt and started to redress. He took her hand as she tried to zip up her skirt. "Please, talk to me. What's going on? I'm confused."

"I can't do this." She pointed back and forth.

"Of course you can, we've been doing this for two years." He smiled, trying to make light of it, but when she didn't break a smile, he grew serious. He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her onto his lap. "Bridget, talk to me. You're scaring me."

She lifted herself off his lap and took a few steps away. When he reached for her hand, she took another step back. "I can't move in, and I can't marry you."

"Then what have we been doing for the past two years?"

"Dating. Getting to know one another." She had known in her heart it meant more to him than to her, but she loved being wanted by him. She loved being chased, and he made her feel sexy, wanted, loved. But it would never be enough for her to marry him.

"We've done that. Did I give you the impression that I was interested in dating forever? I told you early on that I want it all. Marriage, family—all of it."

"I know you did, and I wanted it too," she stated.

"You don't anymore?" His eyebrows turned in and he shook his head as if it would help him make sense of what she was saying.

"I do."

They stared at one another in silence as the realization hit him.

"But not with me," he muttered under his breath.

She shook her head no.

"Because you want it with Billy."

Yes. Desperately. But it was an unattainable dream. One that kept her from giving herself fully to Preston. He deserved so much more than what she had to offer him, and she wouldn't shackle him with someone who couldn't give him everything.

"It's me. I love you, but I'm not ready to get married," she lied. "I'm sorry."

He followed her to the front door in silence. Before she could step outside, he reached for her and pulled her into his arms. "Please say yes."

She kissed his cheek and pulled away.
Chapter Twenty-Six

# August 2001

## Billy

Billy poured coffee for the couple sitting at the counter and threw a glance at Bridget, who sat at the end, looking as beautiful as he had ever seen. She was waiting for Preston to arrive for their big anniversary date. She smiled at Katie, who sat next to her listing all the things that she planned for her sleepover with Diane.

The bell over the door rang, announcing Preston, who was dressed to the nines and carrying flowers. He gave each of the girls a kiss on the forehead and whispered something in Bridget's ear. She gave a slight nod and went back to her conversation with Katie.

"Billy? Can I have a minute?" The man was all smiles and nervous energy. Billy felt it from the other side of the room.

"Sure." He pushed through the swinging doors and closed the office door behind them. Before Billy sat down, Preston announced, "I'm going to ask her to marry me."

Billy fumbled with his chair, almost missing it entirely.

"Well, I want to ask her to marry me."

Billy's chest constricted. He should have expected this, but it was the last thing he wanted to hear.

"Since she has no contact with her father and you were her guardian, I thought it appropriate to ask your permission. Mind you, I'll probably ask her no matter what." Preston chuckled to himself. "But your blessing would be important to her."

Billy cleared his throat, forcing down the need to shove Preston against the wall and pound his fist against Preston's face. He wanted to tell him she was too young. The change would be hard for Katie, but most importantly, that he was in love with her, and he wouldn't allow Preston to take his girls. But even Billy knew those were weak excuses. She might be young, but Bridget was more mature than women his age. It wouldn't take Sweets long to adjust; she liked Preston. And as for him? It didn't matter how much he loved her; Bridget's happiness was more important.

There was no real reason to say no.

"Is she expecting a proposal?"

"No. It's a surprise. I have the ring." Preston reached into his suit jacket and pulled out a velvet box and handed it to Billy.

When Billy popped it open, he saw a ring that was perfect for her—simple, elegant. She would love it, and it reinforced how well Preston understood her. With force, Billy suppressed the desire to throw it across the room. Instead, he set the box down and slid it across the desk. "You have my blessing." His voice sounding slightly resigned.

What else could he say? He wanted her to be happy. It was as simple as that. He would be content just to be her friend. Or, at least, he would try. Preston was a lucky man to have Bridget's love. It gave Billy some comfort to know that Preston treasured Billy's girls as much as Billy did.

_Except they wouldn't be his girls anymore._

"Thank you, Billy. I appreciate it." Preston slapped him on the back and exited the room. Billy forced himself out of the chair and tried to tamp down his feelings before stepping out of the office. He leaned against the door, unable to support himself as reality hit him. They would never be the same. No more Sunday morning donuts and coffee. No more afternoons at the park with Katie. No more late-night ice cream binges after a long day. He'd only see Bridget when she was working, but then again, Preston was successful and they would be able to afford for her to quit. Billy's chest burned as the pain swamped him.

After seeing them off, Katie tugged on his hand. "Why are you sad?"

Billy crouched down and forced a smile. "I haven't had a hug from my favorite five-year-old today."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed as hard as she could. "I love you, my Billy."

He pinched his eyes closed and took a ragged breath. He held on to her for dear life. "I love you, my Sweets."

The room was closing in on him, and it was getting hard to breathe. He needed to get out of there.

He gave her a kiss and let his employees know he was leaving for the night.

After driving aimlessly for an hour, he pulled into a bar he rarely frequented. He needed a drink, maybe ten, but didn't want to run into any of his friends.

After chugging the first beer, he pulled out his cell and dialed a number that was as familiar to him as his own.

* * *

He tried to concentrate on Freja as she lay next to him, catching him up on her life from the past year, but his thoughts were with Bridget.

Sex with Freja had done nothing to soothe the ache or even distract him. If anything, it only served to remind him of what Bridget was probably doing and with whom. To top it off, guilt, for using a woman he actually cared about, stacked like bricks with the weight of pain and panic he already felt.

He had lost everything that was important to him, and he couldn't do a damn thing about it.

He had waited and hoped Bridget and Preston would break up. In his heart, he knew that Bridget and Katie should be his, but now they never would be.

He imagined selling the diner and moving away. He wouldn't. As painful as it would be to watch her move on with Preston, he'd be there for her, just in case.

"Is someone at your door?"

Billy frowned as he looked at the clock on his nightstand. A soft knock sounded again. "Who would come by at this hour?" Freja stood, pulled on one of his T-shirts and left the bedroom. He slipped on some jeans and grabbed a shirt, pulling it on as he turned the corner to his front door. "Who is it?"

Freja smiled and opened the door wider.

Bridget stood on his doorstep with bloodshot eyes and a pink nose.

Freja clapped her hands. "Isn't there something you need to show us?"

When he talked to Freja on the phone, she had asked about everyone at the diner. He let it slip that Preston was asking Bridget to marry him tonight. She was more excited than he expected and offered to meet him at his house.

"What?" Bridget looked as if someone had stabbed her in the heart. He watched her blink back tears. When he stepped forward to pull her into a hug, Freja slid an arm around his waist, pulling him close.

"A little birdie told me that Preston was proposing." She lifted Bridget's hand and exposed her bare finger.

"Oh no! Did I spill the beans? I thought he was asking you tonight?"

Billy held his breath while he waited for her reply.

"He asked." Bridget scrunched her face as she held back tears.

"You said no?" Freja asked incredulously.

Bridget stared at Freja's arm around him then into his eyes. "I better go. You two probably want to be alone. To catch up."

Freja smiled and said, "Thanks." At the same time, he said, "Come inside."

Surprised by Billy's response, Freja gave a tight smile as she looked at him. "Billy, you called me and said you wanted to get back together. Bridget is fine. Look at her." Bridget gave him a forced smile and took a step back. He reached for Bridget's hand, not wanting to let her go at least until he knew what happened.

"Freja, she just broke up with her boyfriend."

Bridget interrupted before they could argue. "Don't worry. I'm leaving. I'll see you tomorrow, Billy."

"Wait!" He reached for her, but she stepped away.

"Don't worry about me. Freja's right, I'm all right. It's all for the best." Bridget gave them a small wave and turned to go.

It was obvious, she was far from fine, but she'd never admit it in front of Freja.

_Freja._

Why had he called her? Billy wanted to kick himself. He never imagined Bridget would say no. She and Preston were the perfect happy couple.

_What happened?_

He removed Freja's hand from his waist and jogged to Bridget's car, ignoring Freja when she called to him.

He said the first safe thing that came to mind. "Are we still on for donuts and coffee tomorrow?"

Bridget didn't bother faking a smile. "Yeah. I'll see you then."

"Bridget, if you need to talk, I'll tell her to go home." He was in no mood to be with Freja anyway.

"No, don't do that. She's waiting for you." She pointed to Freja, who stood at the entrance, looking sultry in his T-shirt. A few years ago, he would have pushed Bridget out the door to be alone with her, but Freja no longer held the same appeal. Not like the woman standing in front of him.

"Goodbye."

"Are you going home?" He tried to hide the desperation from his voice, but he needed to know she was really okay.

"No, Diane is sleeping over, and I don't want to..."

"Say no more. I understand. Why don't you stay here?"

She looked to Freja then back to him. "No thanks. I'm going to find a hotel. I need to be alone."

"I'll send her home." He'd do anything to keep her from leaving. He wanted to comfort her, be there for her.

"Please don't. I'll be fine after I get some sleep. Promise."

As she slid into her seat, he asked one last question.

"Why did you say no?" His heart pounded in his chest as he waited for her answer.

She chewed on her lower lip as she sat silently in her car. She looked into his eyes when she said, "He wasn't the right one."
Chapter Twenty-Seven

# August 2:30 PM

## Billy

"I love you, Sweets. Be safe and call your Mom when you land. You know how she gets." She smiled and nodded. So far there hadn't been any tears except for Bridget. But Katie's eyes started to water as he rubbed the ache in his chest.

It was finally happening. He was saying goodbye, and it was worse than he ever imagined. No longer able to hold it in, a tear escaped and then another and another. He was wiping them away with the back of his hand when he saw Katie drop her bag. They'd just got done hugging goodbye, but they needed one more.

She ran into his open arms. He held her and kissed the top of her head as she cried into his chest. Each little gasp, he squeezed her a little tighter. His thoughts went back to the day she was born and how he never pictured himself as a father until that moment. It was a miracle he wanted to experience again.

Bridget sat in the driver's seat crying. Her face contorted as she attempted to hold back the tears. He wanted to pull her out of the car and into his arms so he could hold both his girls.

Katie leaned back and gave him another teary smile. "Thank you for being the dad I always wanted."

He choked on his tears. Those words simultaneously broke his heart and healed it. Being her father would be an honor. "My Sweets," he whispered. "Thank you for being the daughter I always wanted." Not bothering to wipe away his tears, they rolled down his cheeks and into her hair.

"Oh, Billy." Her words were barely intelligible through her sobs. She buried her head in his chest. Her tears stained his shirt. "Billy, take care of her while I'm gone," she said it loud enough for him to hear but not loud enough for Bridget. Bridget wouldn't appreciate Katie taking care of her, but it was as much in Katie's nature as hers.

"Of course."

"By the way, it's okay with me if you finally tell Mom you love her. I love you. I'd love to call you Dad one day." She grinned as if she'd been holding onto his secret for the past fourteen years.

His jaw dropped as he stared at the girl who was too smart for her own good. "Katie..."

She squeezed his arm. "She loves you, too. Why you two never admit it, I'll never know. Now that I'm leaving, she'll no longer be able to use me as an excuse not to move forward. She's too young not to have a happily ever after."

"I do love her," Billy choked out.

"Tell her." She gave him one more hug and turned to get in the car.

"Hold on a second." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out the envelope that had been burning a hole in his pocket since he went to the bank yesterday. He opened her hand and placed the sealed envelope in her palm, closing her fist around it. "Don't open it until you get to your new place. Promise me."

"I promise, but what is it?"

His cheeks redden. He wanted to do something for her. He'd prefer to do it anonymously, but she would've figured it out. "Just wait to open it."

"Okay. Thank you. I'm sure I'll love it," she said with a crying laugh. He lifted the edge of his shirt and wiped her nose like he used to do when she was a child.

"Billy!" She swatted his hand away.

"You're always going to be _my_ Sweets and will never be too old for me to wipe your nose."

She sighed. "Love you, _my_ Billy."

"Love you, _my_ Sweets." She gave him a huge smile before she kissed his cheek and got in the car.
Chapter Twenty-Eight

# September 2002

## Billy

Billy glanced over his shoulder at the sound of a key turning in the lock. He'd been lounging on the couch for over an hour, channel surfing and drinking beer. For some reason, he was restless but too tired to get up and do anything.

"Hey, gorgeous." Billy smiled at Freja, who returned his smile with a gigantic yawn. Dressed in scrubs with her normally perfectly styled hair pulled into a messy ponytail, she reminded him of her medical school days. There must have been a stubborn baby to come into the world that day. "You look tired."

She kissed the top of his head and stole his beer out of his hand. "You have no idea."

"Bridget brought over leftover lasagna if you're hungry."

"I'm too tired to eat." She plopped down next to him and leaned into his side.

"You're welcome to use my shower and sleep over. I'll even sleep on the couch to keep from waking you up in the middle of the night." He winked at her, but she lifted her head and looked at him curiously.

"Do you mind turning off the TV?"

"What's up?" He clicked it off and turned to face her.

"We've been dating for a long time."

_Not again._

She brought up moving in together every couple of months; so far, he'd been able to find excuses to put it off. It had only been a year since they decided to give it another try. To him, it still felt too soon.

"On and off, but yes."

With an exasperated breath, she rolled her eyes. "Are we ever going to get past this?"

"I'm not sure what you mean. I think things are good between us."

She shook her head at him.

"Billy, I need to tell you something." Her serious expression caused him to sit up.

"You can tell me anything."

"I've met someone."

That wasn't what he was expecting. Neither was the momentary sense of relief or lack of jealousy. "Has something happened between you two?"

"No. He didn't know I had a boyfriend when he asked me out. I, of course, told him about you. I would never cheat."

"Wow. I don't know what to say. Why are you telling me this? Are you breaking up with me?"

As many times as they had split up, not once had it been because of someone else. It was either bad timing or because they never saw each other.

"I'm saying... I'm not sure what I'm saying. I suppose, I'm giving you an ultimatum."

"What kind?" He nervously fidgeted with the remote control as he waited for her to explain.

"The kind where if we don't move in together, talk about marriage and family, or, at least, move in that direction, then we're over."

"Freja..." If it had been a few years ago, he would have agreed on the spot, but now it would mean that his chance with Bridget would be officially over.

"I mean it, Billy. I love you. I want more than this. It was fine when I was in school and doing my residency, but now that it's behind me, I'm ready to get married and have babies. Preferably in this decade."

Until that moment, Billy hadn't realized he'd been biding his time with Freja, waiting for Bridget to get over her breakup with Preston. Even though Bridget did the breaking up, it didn't make it any easier on her. She had just recently started dating again.

_I'm an ass. How could I do this to someone I care about?_

He loved Freja. He always would. She was his first love and would always be one of his closest friends, but he needed to let her go.

"If this guy makes you happy, you should be with him." He meant it with all his heart.

She shoved away, slamming the empty beer bottle onto the coffee table, making a small indention. "That's it? You're not going to fight for me?"

"If you want to be with him, I'm not going to get in your way."

"God, Billy! Do you even love me?"

He reached for her and pulled her into his arms. "I do love you. Very much, but I'll never want more than what we are now."

She cried into his chest, big, heaving sobs.

Guilt constricted his throat. He should have loved her enough to let her go sooner. "I'm so sorry."

"Tell me the truth. Is it because of Bridget and Katie?"

"Don't bring my girls into this."

"My girls?" She pushed him away. "I think that's my answer. Whether you realized it or not, they have been part of our relationship since the day Bridget came into your life."

"They needed me. They still do."

She held his face in her hands. "No. I'm pretty sure it's the other way around."

"Freja..."

"It's fine. We don't have to talk about them. In fact, we don't need to speak at all. I will always love you, Billy Hall, and I sincerely hope that you have a nice life." She gave him one last kiss goodbye before she walked out his door.
Chapter Twenty-Nine

# August 2:30 PM

## Bridget

It was painful to watch him say goodbye to her baby girl. Billy held her daughter with tears unapologetically streaking down his cheeks. It was too much. The love and affection he showed her daughter was beautiful to witness. After everything she went through with her father and Phillip, she never imagined meeting a man who would love her daughter as much as she did.

On the outside, his appearance was intimidating with his tattoos, short cropped hair, and his confident stance. He scared away more than one boy, but Katie turned him into soft, pliable dough. At times, it was difficult for Bridget knowing if she said no, Katie would find a way through Billy. It frustrated her, but also knowing he'd bend over backward for her daughter touched her.

He was everything she ever wanted for herself and Katie. She compared every guy she dated to him.

_Her Billy._

Even thinking of him as hers filled her with guilt. She fell for his tenderness and kindness the first night she met him. Her girlish fantasies of him sweeping her off her feet and admitting his love for her never left, just grew and changed with age.

There were moments in their life where she worried she'd have to watch him get married and have a family, leaving her and Katie behind. She would've left, unable to watch her dreams slip through her fingers.

Today he gave her the first signs of something more. First the kiss, then his confession. His words rang in her ears. He wanted to be Katie's dad. But was that all he wanted? Did he want her, too? Fear smothered her hope. But then her thoughts returned to the kiss, and the never-ending cycle started over.

Bridget sat in silence as her baby girl cried in his arms. She wanted to join them and let him comfort both of them. When she found out she was pregnant and wouldn't have help, she thought her life was over, but then she met him. Graduating from high school and raising her amazing daughter wouldn't have been possible without him. She owed him everything. He'd never kept track of what he'd done, but she did, and the list was long.

Just as Katie was about to get in the car, she turned and rushed back into his arms and lost it. Bridget's eyes pinched closed, attempting to hold back the tears, but it became impossible. They'd always been close. He was proof that there are good men in the world, and she was lucky enough to be friends with the best one. He was as generous with his heart as he was with his time. She didn't know what he got out of it, but she hoped he knew how much she appreciated him.

Katie slid into the seat with a tear-stained face resembling Bridget's own. Without a word, they reached for each other. Putting their foreheads together, they said, "I love you." With ragged breaths they separated, but not before she kissed Katie's forehead. As she leaned back in her seat, her eyes met Billy's gaze. He mouthed, "I'll be here."

_Still?_

She tapped the brake and looked at him one last time. Bridget regretted that she didn't ask him to go with them. The words were almost out of her mouth, but at the last second she decided against it. She was ashamed to admit jealousy kept her from inviting him to go to the airport with them. Katie and Billy had always been close, and Bridget was envious of their relationship. She ignored his hints about wanting to go so she could have her daughter all to herself.

In her head, she tried to justify her irrational behavior by telling herself that he probably needed a break from her, but watching him with Katie she knew better. She just hoped he would understand.

A heavy silence hung in the air as they drove to the airport. Neither wanted to say the first or last goodbye. As Bridget found a parking spot, her tears flowed again. This was it. Her last few moments with Katie until November.

The week Katie decided on a college, Billy bought Katie plane tickets for Thanksgiving and Christmas. It was more for Bridget's sake than Katie's. It eased the worry of having her daughter so far away.

"Mom, don't cry. Please," Katie begged.

"I can't help it. You're going states away, and I won't see you for months." She turned off the car and kept both hands on the steering wheel while pulling herself together. Even though she wasn't the only mother to cry as she sent her baby off into the world, she didn't want to embarrass Katie.

With her never-ending energy, Katie hopped out and lifted a large duffle bag. Bridget took a deep breath and picked up the other. They met each other at the back of the car and locked arms, pulling each other closer as they walked into the small airport.

The lines were short, and Katie had her luggage checked in and her ticket in hand within minutes.

Every part of Bridget wanted to mother Katie by double checking her ticket and bags, but she needed to treat Katie as an adult.

_An adult_. She gulped at the realization. Eighteen years wasn't nearly enough time. She wouldn't have said that a few years ago when things were rough, but now it seemed as if it was yesterday when she brought her home from the hospital.

What she had been dreading for months was finally happening. At the security check, with tears in their eyes, they hugged goodbye. They held each other for a few extra moments. Bridget cleared her throat. "Call or text me when you get in, and if you need anything, I'm only a phone call away. I love you so much, Katie." She kissed her cheek and wiped away her daughter's tears.

"I love you, Mom. Thanksgiving isn't that far away."

Bridget took a last look at her baby girl as Katie went through security. This morning Katie mentioned how she wanted to make a good first impression on her roommate. Her naturally wavy hair hung down her back with soft curls. Bridget knew from experience how much time it took to manage it. Contacts replaced her glasses. Her eye makeup was perfect and only enhanced her already beautiful blue eyes. They were large and a soft shade of light blue. People were automatically drawn to the beauty of them.

She'd changed into short shorts and a tank top with wedge sandals. They added a few years to her youthful appearance. She looked like a beautiful grown woman going out into the world.

Katie gave one last wave before disappearing down the hall toward her gate. Without realizing it, she took a big part of Bridget's heart with her.

Bridget sobered, thinking about the next time she'd see Katie; she would be a full-fledged college student, only coming home for visits. When Katie signed the rental agreement for the condo she would be sharing with another girl, it was for the year, guaranteeing that she wouldn't be coming home for summer break. Bridget wouldn't think about that right now. Only one heartbreak at a time.

She was proud of her daughter and the young lady she had grown into. Katie made parenting relatively easy. They had a few tough years in her early teens, but they made it through and were closer than ever.

No more late night cuddles in Katie's bed talking about their day. And no more monthly girl dates watching romantic comedies and eating junk food while commenting on the positive attributes of the male actors.

Sundays wouldn't be the same either. Billy's early morning wake up coffee and donuts followed by the morning shift might be a thing of the past.

Bridget expected it to hurt, but this was worse than she imagined. She stuffed down her need to cry and hurried to her car. First the tears, then the loud sob broke free before she could get the door unlocked. Slumping down in her seat, she let it out.

After what felt like hours of crying, she looked at herself in the visor mirror and sighed. "It wasn't as if he didn't know I was going to cry." Thank goodness for waterproof mascara.

"This is it, Bridget. Things will never be the same. You might as well get it all out tonight." She blushed when the car door opened next to her and a middle-aged woman stepped out, smiling at her.

_I really need to stop talking to myself._

She drove the short distance home. Her need to be in Billy's arms forced her foot on the gas, allowing her to make it back in less time than it took to get there.

The keys were still in the ignition when her door swung open, and Billy stood there with his arms open wide. She was in them, gripping the back of his shirt, within seconds. Her eyes were finally dry, but she still needed him to hold her.
Chapter Thirty

# April 2004

## Billy

"I had no idea five eight-year-olds could be so noisy," Chuck mumbled to himself as he lined a tray with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches cut into different shapes for Katie's birthday party.

"Chuck, you're a sweetheart." Bridget kissed him on the cheek before stealing a sandwich. Chuck grumbled, but his flush gave him away. As much as he complained, he'd do anything for Bridget and Katie, including making food for a 'high fashion' birthday party on his day off.

"Oh my goodness! Chuck, did you make the cake?" Chuck lifted a brow and pointed to Billy. She gaped at him. "Billy? Did you decorate it too?"

"He was up until 1:00 AM finishing it," Diane chimed in.

"Billy? You didn't have to do this." Didn't she already know he'd do anything for her and Katie?

"Did you see the flowers he drove to Phoenix to get?" Diane said.

"What?" Billy stuck his fingers in his ear to stop the ringing from her high-pitch screech. "Billy Hall, you promised that you'd tone it down this year."

"She deserves it." He shrugged at his reasoning.

"Ugh. You realize, at some point, we're not going to be able to meet her high expectations for her birthday. At this rate, we'll have to buy her a house when she turns twenty-one."

He smirked at her use of the word 'we' instead of 'I'. He could only hope that he'd get to share all the future birthdays.

"The photographer recommended the flowers for the photo shoot. I had to get them." Even he knew it was over the top to drive that far for flowers, but since the day had to be perfect, he had to do what he had to do.

"Whoa! Photographer? Why do we need a photographer?" Every year, Bridget allowed him to plan Katie's birthday party as a surprise to both of them, and every year she got upset about how much it cost him. This may be the last year she turned him loose.

A knock on the door interrupted her interrogation. "Hold that thought, I think that's the girls."

"Girls? What girls? The party guests are already here."

"I hired a hairdresser, makeup artist, and nail technician to come girly up the girls, and then they'll have a photo shoot on the back porch. That's why I had the girls dress up."

He opened the door before Bridget could rant about the over-the-top expense. "Come in, ladies. You can set up in here." Three women from the nearby beauty parlor carried in black cases filled with the tools of their trade, everything necessary to give Katie and her friends a day of glamor. He knew she'd love it, especially since Bridget regularly complained about Sweets sneaking into her makeup, and that wasn't counting all the times he had been forced to paint his darling's fingers and toes. He gave himself a mental pat on the back for his genius. Bridget mumbled something about firing him from party planning as she sat down with the girls to eat a heart-shaped pb and j and drink bubbly lemonade from a champagne flute.

The glow from Katie's face outshone her mother's wrath. Expense and consequence be damned. It was worth it. His Sweets was having the time of her life and the party just started.

As Chuck, Billy, and Bridget cleaned up from lunch, Diane kept an eye on the girls while they squealed and pranced, rotating between the beauticians and photographer.

"Oh my!" Bridget's eyes popped at her first glance of her daughter, barely recognizable under the enormous hair and layers of makeup. "Are those false eyelashes?"

"Whoa," he said under his breath.

Bridget reached for his hand while she tried to maintain a straight face. She whispered, "We're going to have to warn the girls' parents before they pick up their daughters."

He nodded in agreement.

Katie looked exactly like one of those pageant girls. It was terrifying, but her grin was ear to ear. "Don't I look beautiful?" She spun around so they could admire her and batted the feathers they had glued to her eyelids dramatically.

"Yes, you look beautiful," Bridget cooed. Billy still couldn't believe the apparition in front of him was his Sweets.

"It's yours and Billy's turn."

"I'm out of here." Chuck dropped his apron, picked up his keys and was out the garage door before anyone could stop him.

"That's okay, sweetie, we're fine." Discomfort was written all over her face. Those ladies weren't going to get near her without a little nudging and maybe some handcuffs. The thought pushed the temperature of the room up twenty degrees before he wrestled it back down.

"No! You have to. Even Billy." Katie giggled.

"Fine. But I draw the line at lipstick."

Bridget and Katie looked at him as if he'd grown an extra head. Katie started laughing; her head tilted back the way Bridget did when she laughed hard. "I was totally teasing you, Billy."

"Too late. I'm committed now." He took Bridget's hand and forced her to follow him to the living room, where the women were finishing with the last party girl.

"You have two more victims—I mean, clients," he teased.

Bridget held his hand, shaking her head. There was fear in her eyes. "That's okay. I think I'll leave the fun for the girls."

"Oh no. If I am, you are too."

Uncontrollable laughter rolled out of him as he watched Bridget's wavy hair turn into a high bouffant, and he was genuinely frightened by the bright colors that replaced her understated makeup. Undeterred, he did what he said he would, refusing the lipstick per their agreement. He and Bridget even had their own photo shoot. He had to hold her on his lap to keep her from running away, but it was one of the perks.

Overall, it was one of the best days he ever had. Makeup and all.

"Did you see the look on Lindy's mom's face?" Bridget almost fell over laughing. "She's never going to look at you the same way."

They stood in his spare bathroom, scrubbing makeup off of each other's faces. She had attempted to control her hair by pulling it into a stiff ponytail since a brush would only bounce off the thick veneer of hair product.

"Thank you for the party. It was wonderful, as usual, and I'm sorry I got frustrated. It's still hard for me to allow people to spend money on us...even you," she tacked on before he could say anything.

"Does this mean, I get to plan her party next year?"

"Don't push it, Mr. Hall."

He smirked. "You're welcome, by the way."

He rinsed off the washcloth for the second time before returning to makeup removal duty. "So, I thought Troy was coming." Troy, her new boyfriend nobody seemed to like except her. He almost made Billy wish she was back with Preston, at least she'd be with someone who deserved her.

"He was supposed to, but he called and said he'd be late." Any time she planned something that included Katie, the ape would suddenly be too busy or call to tell her he was stuck at work. Curiously, it never happened if she got a sitter. To be honest, Billy preferred he had as little contact with Sweets as possible. Not only was Troy awkward around her but most of the time, he acted like she didn't exist.

"Late? He missed the whole party."

"I know. Don't say it." She took control of the washcloth to avoid looking at him.

"PIZZA!" Katie yelled from the living room. After his earlier madhouse, they agreed to a quiet evening of dinner and a movie, Katie's choice. So pizza and _Shrek_ had been added to the docket. He couldn't imagine anything better.

Katie grabbed the paper plates and napkins, Bridget filled glasses with ice and root beer, and he got the movie started. It was automatic. They each had their roles for movie night at his place.

Just as Shrek met Lord Farquaad, a loud knock sounded at the door, startling an exhausted Sweets, who'd leaned against him. Her smeared makeup made her look more like a clown than a pageant contestant.

"I'll get it." Bridget stood and stretched. Before she reached the door, someone pounded again.

Billy had a pretty good idea who it was, and when she opened the door, she confirmed his guess.

"Where were you? The party ended hours ago." Her voice was clipped and he could feel the frustration rolling off of her.

"Sorry." Troy kissed her on the cheek as he stepped inside. Billy had never let him inside before, and the jerk looked around as if he was judging the place. He'd only been inside Bridget's apartment a handful of times and never for any length of time. He treated her as if her lack of money or used furniture was contagious.

"I got caught up at work," he said in a bored voice.

"You promised you would come."

"I said I was sorry. I doubt Katie cares."

"I don't," a groggy Katie mumbled. Billy patted her on the arm, proud of her for speaking up, even if it was a little garbled. It was no secret Katie thought as little of Troy as he did of her.

"If you're going to be pissed about me missing a kid party, I'll leave."

Billy's attempt to hold back a laugh and hide his smile failed, but the truth was he hadn't tried very hard. Bridget sent him a death stare before turning back to her boyfriend.

"Please do," she said.

Billy shivered at her glacial tone.

"Will you follow me out?" he asked.

She pulled on her sweater and closed the door behind them.

Twenty minutes later, she stepped back inside, a scary calmness about her.

Sweets was fast asleep and melding with his arm, so he laid her down and covered her with a blanket before getting up to follow Bridget. He found her stomping through the kitchen, cleaning up the mess left from the party. Afraid that she would wake Sweets, he took over loading the dishwasher and tried to be patient. He hoped she would say something on her own, but after ten minutes, she was scowling and growling something under her breath.

He stood in front of her and held her arms, stroking gently until she looked up at him.

"Why are you with him? The sex can't be that good."

"Ugh, Billy!" She picked a plastic cup off the counter and threw it at him. "You're not funny."

"I wasn't trying to be. I can't think of another reason you'd be with him."

She closed her eyes and flexed her hands open and closed. "When it's just the two of us, it's nice. He's sweet, romantic."

"It's not just you."

"I'm well aware, and so is he, which is why he just broke up with me." She shoved the last of the dirty, plastic cups in the garbage bag and tied it up.

"You don't seem heartbroken." He followed her outside, carrying two more bags of trash to the garbage can in front of his garage.

"I'm not. I'm pissed. I should have broken up with him." That was his girl. He couldn't have been happier to see the spunky side of Bridget return, even if it was a few months late.

He slung an arm around her shoulders and walked her back inside. "Let's watch another movie. You two can sleep in the spare bedroom tonight."

"Thanks, Billy—for everything."
Chapter Thirty-One

# August 3:00 PM

## Billy

He waited until he could no longer see her car before heading back inside, going straight to his office. Frustrated, he paced around the small room.

The whole day he patiently waited for her to ask him to go with her. It was no secret that it was going to be a tough day for her. He hinted multiple times that he'd go, but she never acknowledged them. It felt as if she was pulling away from him, and he didn't like it.

The clatter from the kitchen drew his attention. He walked into the kitchen to see several busted plates and a stunned Diane looking up at him from the floor.

"Sorry. I was clearing the tables in the dining room and overestimated my ability to hold a pile of plates with this old shoulder of mine." Diane took the broom and dustpan from one of the waitresses and started sweeping up the mess.

"Here. Let me. You and Chuck can head home." Looking around the room from his main cook to the waitresses who volunteered to help with the party, he thanked them for their support and told them they could leave. He'd keep himself busy with the cleanup. If he couldn't keep his mind busy, he'd at least keep his body moving.

Diane balked, but he managed to get her and Chuck out the door, locking it behind them. Billy watched through the glass front door as Chuck opened the car door for her and gave her a kiss on the cheek before closing it. Billy smiled at the thought of them together. Neither had gotten married or had children and for years they acted as if they didn't like each other, always fighting like an old, married couple. That should've been Billy's first clue, but nothing connected until Diane's retirement party when she let him in on their 'little' secret. They'd been having a secret love affair for over twenty years. When he asked them why, they winked and smiled at each other but stayed tight-lipped. Billy decided he didn't want to know.

It was nearing late afternoon; customers had stopped by only to be turned away by the closed sign on the door. The last time he closed early on a weekend was the day Sweets was born. He wouldn't have been anywhere else, and the rest of the employees complained about working when they wanted to be at the hospital to support Bridget. He might've taken her in out of sympathy, but within days, her big heart endeared her to all of them.

He wiped down the tables and chairs then swept and mopped the floor. His eyes sought out the clock before automatically drifting to the door. She should've been back by now. He fought his need to seek out Bridget and impatiently waited for her to return.

_FINALLY!_

The moment her car pulled in, he was outside and had her door open. The evidence of tears clearly shown on her face, but it took nothing away from her beauty. He opened his arms to her, and she was in them without a moment of hesitation. Right where she needed to be.

She didn't cry, but the moment she gripped the back of his shirt, he tightened his hold on her. He needed to hold her more than she needed to be held. Today, watching her be the strong woman he knew she was, had been difficult. It was her strength and independence that drew him, but he wanted to still have a place in her life. Bridget had relied on him for so many years, and he lived for it. But the past few months had shown him that she may not need him anymore.

They didn't exchange words; none were needed. He let go of her long enough to take the key out of the ignition and grab her purse. He shut the door with his foot and led her inside, sitting her down on the same stool she sat on the first time she came into the diner.

The girl she had been was still there, but she was so much more. Gone was the softness of her adolescence. She was thinner, her cheeks more defined, and her eyes brighter. Life left a few lines around her eyes and her smile, but they only made her more beautiful.

He told her to stay put as he made her a chocolate shake. Her favorite. It was her go-to food after a bad date or a fight with Katie.

When finished, he sat next to her and slid it over.

She gave him a sad smile and bumped his shoulder with hers. "Thank you." She took a large drink and smiled in appreciation. "This is going to ruin my dinner. Then again, I no longer have to be the responsible adult, so I can have more ice cream for dinner if I want."

He chuckled. "Rebel."

"Right?" Her smile brightened with his teasing.

"It's more mother like daughter."

"She learned from the best." Her smile faded into a slight frown. She slid the mug away and sighed. "Billy, it was incredibly insensitive of me not to invite you to go to the airport with us. I'm sorry."

He took a deep breath realizing that she had done it on purpose. He calmly asked, "Why didn't you?"

She shrugged and stared at her half-eaten shake. "I didn't want to share her last few minutes here. After today—she's no longer mine. It's been hard enough sharing her with you," she gave him a forced smile, "but now I have to share her with her new life, school, you, and now Phillip."

He let the silence fill the space between them as her words sunk in. Understanding her motives made it impossible to stay upset with her. She stirred her shake and ate another spoonful. She looked lost in thought, and he could practically see the gears turning in her head. It didn't appear that she was going to say anything else, so he did.

"Will you have dinner with me tonight?"

She didn't respond right away. She frowned and her brows turned in. "What?"

"I'd like us to have dinner, together. It'll give us time to talk."

"We can talk now."

"I think we should talk later." Even though the diner might've been an appropriate setting considering how they met, he wanted this evening to be romantic.

"Later is right now. We've kept saying it since this morning." She was right, and at that very moment, he was dying to tell her everything. But, he wanted the evening to be perfect when he opened his heart to her.

"I know. But I want to do it when there's no chance of getting interrupted."

Her face softened along with her voice. "Okay."

"Okay," he repeated. "I'll pick you up in a few hours."

"All right."

He spun her stool and placed a hand around her waist, helping her down. Without letting go, they walked through the back door, locking it behind them. At the bottom of the stairs leading to her apartment, he gave her a hug and kissed her cheek. "I'll be here around seven thirty."

He turned and walked toward his pickup, not bothering to wait for her to respond. His mind was already going through the list of things he needed to do before their date. When he pulled out, she was still standing at the bottom of the steps, watching him drive away.
Chapter Thirty-Two

# February 2008

## Billy

"How long has it been?" Jan asked as she pulled his shirt over his head.

"Too long." He groaned as he unbuttoned her blouse and slid it down her arms. "At least three weeks."

He and Jan met six months ago at the diner when he was covering for one of the waitresses. She left a big tip and her number. They'd been seeing each other ever since. She was the owner of a busy law practice and had very little time for dating. If she called, he knew it wasn't for a romantic dinner. He preferred it that way. It was easy, and he never had to worry about her wanting a commitment.

"Thanks for letting me come over last minute." She smiled against his mouth.

"Thanks for coming over."

He had barely gotten her undressed when his phone rang with Bridget's ringtone.

"Leave it, Billy," Jan demanded. He hated it when she spoke to him as if he was her employee instead of her lover.

He ignored her and lifted himself off her to reach for his phone. "I have to get this." Especially since Bridget rarely called that late.

With no hello or hi, he asked, "What's wrong? Are you okay? Is it Katie?"

"Katie's fine. She's sleeping over at her friend's house. I'm okay, except I'm pulled over on the side of the road with smoke coming from under the hood of my car."

"Where are you? I'll be right there." He zipped up his pants and pulled a shirt over his head.

"Where are you going?" Jan asked near his ear.

"Is that Jan? I'm sorry, you're on a date."

"Don't worry about her. She'll be fine."

He turned around to see a very pissed Jan push off the bed and storm into the bathroom with an armful of clothes.

"Oh no. You two never see each other. Stay there, I'll be okay. I've already called for a tow truck. I'm just scared to be out here by myself."

"There is no way I'm leaving you in the dark by yourself. I'll be there as soon as I can. Give me the address or street name."

Jan followed him out of the bedroom as he searched for his keys and wallet. "I'm wondering if you'd do that for me."

He didn't want to answer that. Jan was a tough cookie, who could probably beat the shit out of anyone who dared look at her wrong. Bridget wasn't like that.

"Are you at least coming back?" Jan asked in a huff.

"Yeah. I'm going to pick her up. Once things are settled with her car, I'll take her home. Stay. I'll be back in a little while." He kissed the top of Jan's head.

Within moments, Jan transformed herself from a sexy siren to a trial attorney. With her arms folded, she asked, "Why is it that she says jump and you ask how high?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about. And can we do this later? It isn't safe for her out there." He was growing impatient and wanted to be on the road already.

"She's fine. You were just on the phone with her, but you seem to worry a great deal about her."

He was growing increasingly exasperated by Jan's questioning. "Of course I do. It's Bridget."

"What do you mean by 'It's Bridget'?"

"Can we do this when I get back? She's waiting."

"I'm leaving. We can get together later or not."

"Jan, come on. It's not like this happens all the time." He stepped outside with her following him like an attack dog nipping at his heels.

"You're right. Most of the time, it's you who chooses to see her after work instead of your girlfriend."

He turned around, hands clenched. "Are you kidding me? One time. One time you were free, and I already had plans."

"This is what I mean. She calls, and you drop everything. I call, and you tell me that we'll meet another time."

He yanked open the driver's side door and hopped in.

"Billy, if you leave right now, don't expect me to call you again," Jan threatened.

Pissed off, he slammed the door and the tires spun as he pulled out of the driveway. "How dare she make me choose between her and Bridget?" It was one argument she'd never win.

When he pulled up behind Bridget's car, she stepped out just as he reached her door. He pulled her into a hug first, relieved that she was safe, and then looked under the hood to assess the damage.

He repeated what he had said only a week ago. "You need a new car. This beater needs to be put to pasture."

"I know. But..." He heard her excuses. He wouldn't call her a cheapskate, but she was a saver and cautious about what she spent her money on.

"You must have enough money in savings to buy another one. You don't spend it on anything else."

"I do, but it's for Katie's college." That was no surprise. Everything she did was for Katie, but, for once, he was going to make her spend money on herself. If he could have gotten away with it, he would've replaced it for her.

"That's years away, and sometimes you need to take care of you. I hate that you drive this piece a junk for this exact reason." He paced the length of her car as all the 'what if's' popped in his head. "What if I didn't hear my phone? Or Katie was with you? Or you got stuck in an area with bad cell service?" He stopped in front of her and cradled her face in his hands. "I don't want to always worry about you. We're going car shopping tomorrow."

She held onto his wrists. "Okay."

He had a threat ready and waiting if she fought him, so it took him by surprise that she agreed so readily. "Tomorrow?"

"Yes, tomorrow."

He released his hold when the tow truck arrived. The driver stepped out, and Billy took over. He ignored Bridget, who stood on the side of the road with her hands on her hips and a deep crease in her forehead. Once the car was hooked up to the tow truck and the driver gave him directions to the shop, Billy forced himself to brave her wrath. He knew what was coming before she said it. "I didn't ask you to take over. I can speak for myself. This is my car. Remember?"

Will she ever learn that he needed to take care of her? "I'm trying to help."

In a huff, she said, "I love you, Billy, but sometimes..."

He loved it when she said that. He smiled at her and put an arm around her shoulders. "I'm sorry."

She leaned her head onto his shoulder. "I doubt it." They both laughed at the truth of her statement.

"So you were heading home?"

"Nope. I had just dropped off Katie and was in search of food. I'm starving, and I haven't been grocery shopping in over a week."

"Me too. Let's get some dinner. I know just the place." He smiled at the memory of the last time he brought her there. He'd gone back several times, always by himself. It was now their restaurant, even if they hadn't been back since her birthday almost eight years ago.

When they pulled up, she had a huge grin. "This is perfect. Is Mrs. Brava still here?"

"Sadly, no. She passed a few years ago, but her daughter and granddaughter run it now. The food is still amazing."

"That's good." She covered her mouth in embarrassment. "Not that she passed away, but that the food is still good."

He chuckled. "I knew what you meant."

Just like last time, they sat in a private booth and spent the next few hours eating, talking, and drinking wine. By the time they left, Bridget was tipsy and affectionate. As they walked to his truck, he placed an arm around her waist. She leaned into him and smiled. "I'm glad my car broke down."

"Me too."
Chapter Thirty-Three

# August 4:30 PM

## Bridget

While sitting on the stool, working up the nerve to talk to him, Billy interrupted her thoughts. It took a moment to realize he'd asked her to dinner. It wasn't unusual to have dinner together. They had casual dinners all the time. The nights Katie went on dates, he'd come over for dinner and a movie. He'd claim it was to keep her distracted, but she knew better. He worried more than she did.

But there was nothing casual about this invitation. Tonight was going to be different. She could feel it. Though she still held hope that things would end the way she desired, a part of her still expected him to tell her he just wanted to be friends.

Those old feelings of being unloved were never very far when she thought of a future with him. She never believed she was worthy of his love but was going for it rather than worrying about the 'what if's'.

She stood at the bottom of the steps, watching him drive away, not daring to take a step until he was out of sight. Her stomach knotted, and her legs shook beneath her. They were going to have their real first date unless you counted her twenty-first birthday, which she secretly did. She might have been dating someone else, but the way he treated her was better than any date she'd had.

It was frightening to realize she'd have her answer tonight. One more delay and she might have given up entirely. Still, a part of her wanted to pack up and leave, worrying he'd never love her, but the hopeful part of her needed to know for sure.

When she entered her apartment, she went straight for the bottle of wine she'd been saving. She had to step on a stool to reach for one of her two wineglasses, which were kept on the top shelf above the fridge. She rarely drank, but tonight was an exception. It would be the only way to make it through the evening.

After taking her first sip, she sighed as she pulled out a kitchen chair and sat. She peered at the clock and counted down the hours.

Three more. You can do this.

Without the noise from the diner coming through the floor, the apartment was hauntingly quiet. Loneliness seeped in, and her hand automatically reached for her glass. It reminded her of the last time she felt this alone.

As if she was on automatic pilot, she walked into her baby girl's room. The door pushed open with the slightest pressure. The only evidence that she left was the empty closet with the door left open. She had a few items left on hangers and a few pairs of shoes on the floor...wait. "That's where my shoes went." Great. Now she was going to miss Katie stealing her clothes.

She smiled at her daughter's unmade bed. "Like mother, like daughter." Leaving it disheveled gave Bridget a strange sense of peace. It was as if Katie didn't intend to be gone long.

Bridget sat on the end of Katie's bed, placing her wineglass on the nightstand. Her position gave her an unobstructed view of the wall across from her. Billy had turned one wall into a giant cork board. Every inch was taken up with pictures, quotes, academic awards, and posters. It was visually chaotic, but if you looked at it long enough, you could see the thought Katie put into everything she hung up. Only the things that were important had a place on the wall.

A bright pink piece of notebook paper stood out. She'd never noticed it before. Lifting herself off the bed, Bridget took a closer look.

* * *

_MOM_ was written across the folded piece of paper.

She started crying before she even opened it. She pulled off the pin holding it in place and lay down on the bed while unfolding the letter.

* * *

Dear The Best Mom in the Whole Universe,

I'm guessing you left me at the airport not too long ago and are feeling lonely. I hope I'm wrong, but I know you too well.

I love you, Mom.

I couldn't have asked for a better mother. You are everything I ever needed in a parent. It must've been hard doing it alone, especially during my early teen years, and after I started bugging you about my father. I want you to know that you were enough for me. You've always shown me how much you love me through your sacrifices and your strict parenting. I might not have always appreciated it, but I do now. I can only hope that I make you as proud of me as I am of you.

I didn't want to do it this way. Actually that's a lie. I'm too chicken to tell you in person because it's confession time.

Don't be mad.

Please.

Wait. First, remind yourself how much you love me.

Okay, here it is:

I found your box. "THE BOX." I remember you bringing it home after your dad died. I had always been curious, wondering what hidden treasures you had in there. You never talk about life before me, so I was inquisitive.

A few months ago, while searching for our box of photos in your closet, I found it sitting in the back on the top shelf. I couldn't help myself.

When I opened it, I realized it held the answers to every question I had about you. Don't worry, I didn't read all the journals. As hard as it was, I didn't read past where you wrote about Grandma dying. I figure if you want me to know my dad, you'll tell me, but I really hope you will someday.

I also read everything else. I had no idea you were a writer. Not just a writer, but an amazing storyteller. I've been dying to ask you about it, but I figured it was probably something you gave up for me. When I caught you typing away on that old laptop, I wanted to jump up and down and tell you how happy I was to see you write again. Of course, that would've meant confessing, and I wasn't ready to risk your wrath.

I've spent the last few months sneaking notebooks out of your box and reading every single story you have in there.

I should be sorry, but I'm not. Well, I kind of am, but only because some of your stories aren't finished, so I'm left hanging without an ending. I hope one day you'll finish them, or at least tell me how they end, so I'll be able to sleep better at night. You have no idea how hard it was to keep this from you. Just know that I'm already your biggest fan and can't wait to read more.

Try not to be mad, and remember I love you forever and always.

Love,

Your favorite daughter, who loves you more than anything in this whole world, and will forever let you have the last maple bar. Okay, maybe not the maple bar, but everything else is true.

Katie

* * *

Bridget read the letter again and again, going back and forth between crying and laughing. It was a fact; she was the luckiest woman on the planet to have Katie as a daughter. Whatever Bridget had done wrong, at least she did one thing right. Katie would always be her something right.

There was no way she could be mad at her daughter. If things were reversed, she would've been just as curious.

No longer able to sit still, she took her half-empty wineglass and wandered around her tiny apartment until she ended up in front of the closet looking up at 'The Box'.

Bridget got on her tippy-toes and reached for the top shelf. It took her a couple of tries before she was able to scoot the box up. She lifted the lid and peeked inside to see if she'd notice evidence of her daughter's snooping. The last time she opened it was after Katie's graduation. That night sent her life in a different direction than she expected.

The top half were notebooks filled with her stories. More than half were only partly or half written, and she understood Katie's frustration with wanting to know the end. She did too.

She smiled at the thought of finishing them for her daughter. After pulling out the notebooks, she reached for her journals. The very last one was from the year Katie was born. Some of the pages stuck together, proving that her ever-honest, incredible daughter had not read it. Katie could have found everything she wanted to know about Bridget and Phillip in them, right up until the evening Bridget's dad kicked her out.

She flipped through it and stopped to read every few pages. The last time she had opened this box, she wasn't ready to relive her past, but somehow it was almost healing to reread her thoughts of that time in her life. Her heart still ached for the young girl. She wanted to tell her, "Everything is going to be okay. You're going to have a great life."

She sighed, comparing herself back then to now. At times, she felt like that young girl, shy, directionless, but, most of the time, she was proud of what she accomplished, particularly when it came to her daughter.

Two hours slipped by without her realizing it. It wasn't until she went to pick up another journal that her eyes caught the time. She jumped off the bed, dropping the journal on the floor. Her heart raced as she made a mental list of the things she needed to do to get ready.

She put her hair into a messy bun and rushed through her shower, making sure to use her favorite smelling body wash and shave the important places. Cuss words spilled out of her mouth every time she looked at the clock. The hours of the day had leisurely lingered, giving her too much time to think and worry...until now.

She streaked across the living room to her bedroom and rummaged through her underwear drawer. She wanted to be prepared, in case tonight ended up the way she hoped. Plus, wearing something sexy gave her confidence. She pulled out a bra and panty set that she'd never worn. Maybe she knew it was only meant for Billy.

She reached into the back of her closet for the only dress she'd ever paid full price for. Tonight she hoped it worked to her advantage. It was a wrap dress that showed off her cleavage and molded to her curvy shape, ending just above the knee. It was sexier than she normally wore, even on her dates, but, like her panty set, it was made to be worn for Billy.

She wasn't sure where they were going, and, for a moment, she questioned her clothing. What if he planned to take her to get pizza or hamburgers? Luckily, the little voice in her head reminded her of the way he kissed her today and the lingering looks he gave her.

"Remember? You're going to be hopeful tonight."

She turned her messy bun into a low chignon, leaving her neck and chest exposed. Her makeup was a little heavier than usual, but she liked the extra touches.

Just as she tied the dress, he knocked. She looked in the mirror and made a slight adjustment, making sure everything was in the right place while taking a few cleansing breaths at the same time.

He was about to knock again when she finally opened the door. The first thing she saw was his beautiful eyes widen and a smile that melted her from the inside out. The sleeves on his dress shirt were rolled up, giving her a view of some of his tattoos. He confidently pulled off wearing a purple tie with dark slacks and dress shoes. As much as she loved him in jeans and T-shirts, the fact he put in the effort to dress nicely for her gave her more hope than she expected.

He stepped forward, placing a hand on her waist. A shiver ran up her body from the heat of his touch. She wanted to step closer, but he dropped his hand and stepped back before she could.

The joy she felt moments ago dissipated. She couldn't hide her disappointment. She thought for sure he was going to hug her and maybe kiss her again. He was obviously happy to see her, but then why did he pull back?

He handed her the flowers he had tucked under his arm and said, "Hi."
Chapter Thirty-Four

# November 2009

## Bridget

Bridget sat on a stool with her feet hanging over another, enjoying a late night chocolate shake. She had just locked the doors and sent Katie to bed. She leaned back and enjoyed the silence for the first time that day. Most days she was happily content working at the diner, but days like today, she wished she would've given college another try. She went to Northern Arizona University for one term before dropping out. Between the number of hours she had to work to pay for college after financial aid and the number of hours she had to put in for classes and studying wasn't worth it to her. Her time with Katie was too precious. She didn't regret leaving, but today, Bridget wished she had a nice cushy job with regular working hours that didn't leave her feet aching.

After toeing off her shoes, she stretched her toes and rubbed her tired feet. She tried to talk Billy into hiring someone to massage her feet every night, but he just laughed at her suggestion. One of these days, he'd take her seriously.

She rested her head on the counter and closed her eyes, too tired to move. She may need to call Katie to carry her to bed.

Someone lightly tapped on the locked glass door. "We're closed!" She tried to shout, but it came out weak.

"The lights are off, the door is locked. Get the hint," she muttered between yawns.

The tapping continued until someone called her name. She shot up in her seat and turned around to face the door. With the outside lights off and the lights over the bar still on, she could only see an outline of someone, a very large someone. He called her name again, and a shiver ran down her spine.

He wouldn't have come back.

As she got closer to the door, her biggest fear became reality.

"Please, let me in. We need to talk." She shook her head. "If you don't, I'll go introduce myself to Katie right now."

She unlocked the door and pushed it open. "How dare you threaten me! I will call the police if you don't leave."

"Bri, please. Five minutes. That's all I need."

"Five minutes. Start talking."

He let himself in and sat at the booth closest to the door.

She stood next to the table with her hip out and arms folded. "What do you want, Phillip?"

He motioned for her to sit across from him. "You know what I want."

She sat across from him, but only because her feet hurt. She wasn't doing it for him, she reasoned. "The answer is, and will always be, no."

"I understand why you're angry, I do."

She released a bitter laugh. "You really don't."

"You might be right, but the past several years have given me new insight into how hard it had to have been for you. I'm willing to do whatever I can to make it up to you and Katie. I just need you to give me a chance."

She stared at the man sitting in front of her, taking in the changes from the last time she had seen him. Had it really been eleven years?

"Why now, Phillip? This is only the second time in thirteen years that you've made an effort to see her. It isn't a good record."

"I've wanted to for so long, but it was my wife who finally gave me the courage to come back, to make it right."

"You're married," she repeated to herself. As often as she thought of him, she never imagined he'd get married and move on.

"Yeah. Seven years. We have two kids, Kayla is five and James, who turned three this week."

Bridget fisted her hands on the table, trying to hold back the wave of pain. He had replaced them with a new family.

"Does she know about me?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I told her I was sixteen and alone. That's it."

"Has she asked about me?" She looked at the clock, willing the minute hand to move faster.

"A few times when she was young. She didn't understand why her friends had dads and she didn't." The memory hurt now as much as it had then. She was too young to understand why their family was different.

He lay one hand on top of her folded hands. "What did you tell her?"

She pulled her hands away, placing them on her lap. "I told her our family was different. She had a mom, and she had a Billy, and that our friends were our family."

"Thank you for not telling her what happened."

"What happened? You mean how you tried to give me money to abort? Or stopped taking my calls? Or wasn't there for her birth? Or how I had to financially provide for her and myself while still going to high school?"

His fingers tangled in his hair, and his faced blanched at her tirade.

"I'll never be able to express how sorry I am. But I appreciate you not saying anything."

"I didn't do it for you. I did it for her. All she needs to know is that she was made in love and that she is loved."

"Will you let me meet her?"

She stood to leave, but he held her arm and waited for her to answer. "No.

"Bri, I'm an attorney—"

She didn't allow him to finish. "You're threatening me again?"

"No...maybe. I'll do what I have to."

She forced back frustrated tears. She wouldn't cry, not because of him. "Think about it. How is it going to look to a judge that your only contact was two five minute visits with me in thirteen years? You would be wasting time and money, and you'd lose. I might not be college educated, but I know that."

"Having a chance to meet her wouldn't be a waste. Kayla and James made me realize what a huge mistake I made. I was selfish, and I thought only of myself. I'd never deny that. But now that I know, I want to make up for it somehow."

Bridget looked at the clock, stood up, and opened the door. "Your time is up."

He stood and stared at her. With defeat in his voice he said, "You don't have to worry. I won't take you to court." He took a step out the door and looked at her one last time. "But you won't be able to stop me when she turns eighteen."
Chapter Thirty-Five

# August 5:30 PM

## Billy

He dug through his pockets for his ringing phone, his other hand tightened its grip on the shopping bag. He smiled at the face that popped up on his caller I.D.

"Hey, Sweets."

"Billy, I'm just checking in. I called Mom, but her phone must be turned off. I landed not too long ago and getting ready to get on my connecting flight. How's Mom?"

"As you expected. I'm picking her up for dinner in a couple of hours, so I'll let her know you called."

"Dinner? Is this a date?" Her high-pitched squeal pierced his eardrum, forcing him to pull the phone away. He shook his head and smiled at her enthusiasm. Something else to add to the list of things he was going to miss.

"Yes." He hoped so. It didn't occur to him that she might not see it that way. She had to know. He saw it in her eyes. Tonight was more than their usual informal dinner.

"Good. It's about time. Oh hey, my flight was just called. Tell Mom I'll call her when I get to my new place. I love you, and good luck tonight." She was as excited as he was nervous about the evening. It only ramped his anxiety. All the 'what ifs' started popping up in his head. He shook it off, not allowing himself to follow that train of thought. Too much time had passed to waste another minute.

"Love you, Sweets. Be safe."

After shoving his phone back in his pocket, he ran his hand through his cropped hair. The weight of the bag he carried grew heavier as he questioned whether to give it to her tonight. It wasn't a romantic gift, just something he knew she needed. He debated it on his way home. On one hand, she was sensible and would appreciate it, but on the other hand, she might be expecting something more...special.

The practical side won. She needed it and would use it. Worse came to worse, she'd forgive him for not being romantic—hopefully.

Tonight had to be perfect for her—for them. He made a playlist of songs that remind him of her. Dinner was cooking and should be done right on time. The new clothes he bought for the evening were pressed and ready to put on. Even the couch cushions were fluffed since she loved relaxing on his couch after dinner.

He'd waited fourteen years for this and wasn't going to let anything ruin it. Time flew, and the next thing he knew, he was pulling into his parking space behind the diner.

Still in his pickup, he checked to make sure he had everything. His palms were sweaty, and the slight nausea he felt an hour ago started to gain momentum. It was worse than going on his very first date. It was different going on a date with a woman he loved more than anyone else in the world.

_No pressure._

He wiped the sweat off his face and neck with a napkin left in his truck. He couldn't blame the heat; it was all nerves. This was the start of the rest of his life. He only dreamt of what he would say tonight. If there were a God, his dream would come true.

He tucked the flowers under his arm and held the present with the other.

When he reached the top step, instead of knocking, he nervously stood staring at the door. It was strangely quiet from inside the apartment. Usually, music could be heard from the other side. More evidence Katie was no longer here. He rubbed his chest for a moment and reminded himself that this was a good thing, even if her leaving hurt.

He gave two heavy pounds on the door and waited. Each second ticked in his head. He didn't hear movement, so lifted his hand to knock again as the door swung open.

_Stunning._

That was the first word that popped into his head when he saw her standing in front of him. Wanting her in his arms, he moved forward without the slightest hesitation. Just as he moved to pull her into his arms, his brain kicked in.

_Not yet._

He suppressed his desire to touch her or kiss her plump red lips.

Never in his life had he ever enjoyed kissing girls with lipstick, but he wanted nothing more than to taste her lips and kiss her until it wore away. Then he noticed her beautiful smile disappear.

He did something wrong.

His brain fried at the sight of her so he couldn't think what he did to cause this change in reaction.

He took a deep breath and handed her the bouquet of yellow daisies.

He managed to speak, surprising himself. "Hi." His throat was dry, and it came out thick and husky.

She gave him a sad smile and said, "Hey." Okay, he really did something wrong, but he couldn't think of what.

Wait. Did she expect him to kiss her?

She opened the door wider and stepped out of the way, giving him enough room to enter. She turned and walked silently to the kitchen, where she got on her tippy toes and unsuccessfully reached for a vase above the fridge. He placed her gift on the coffee table and followed her.

"Here. Allow me." He positioned himself behind her, her back against his front. He leaned in, balancing himself with one hand on her hip and pulled the vase down with the other. Her breath caught, and he noticed her pulse on her neck quicken. His eyes followed the trail from her neck to the low dip of her dress and admired the swell of her breasts. He closed his eyes as he pictured himself slowly caressing her from her sweet lips to her perfect breasts with his lips and tongue.

His hand slid across her stomach, pulling her to his chest.

She reached for the vase with a visibly shaking hand. "Thank you. The flowers are beautiful."

He regretfully let go and stood next to the table while she filled the vase with water and her flowers. His heart beat a little harder when she smiled as she breathed in the fragrance. Determined to wait until they were comfortably settled at his house, he turned away to keep from taking her into his arms and voicing his desires.

His eyes narrowed when he noticed the open bottle of wine. She rarely drank, so the question was out of his mouth before he realized it. "How much did you drink?"

She turned around with big eyes. "Why?"

"I want to make sure you're lucid."

"Believe me, I'm completely lucid," she replied defensively. "I had one glass several hours ago. You know me."

"Yeah, I do. That's why I'm surprised you were drinking." Completely present was the only way he was going to open his heart to her. There can't be any more misunderstandings or outside influences determining how things end tonight.

"I just needed...something. Don't worry, it's out of my system. I just forgot to put the bottle in the fridge."

"Bridget, I just want you completely sober tonight. We have a lot to discuss." He softened his voice as she became defensive and agitated by his questioning.

"I am. If I wasn't before, I am now." Her words bit, and he knew he had messed up again. Unfortunately, he had no idea how to fix it.

She placed the vase in the middle of her small table, adjusting it once. "I forgot how much I like getting flowers." Before he could respond, she pointed to her bedroom. "I need to grab my shoes and jewelry, then I'll be ready to go."

He followed her until he stood at the entrance of her bedroom. When she bent down to search for her shoes, her dress rode up just enough. The view of the back of her upper thighs was incredible. He tried to control his thoughts, but, like so many other times, his desire won.

Visions of what he wanted to do with her, and to her flashed through his imagination. She leaned against the wall, sliding on her heels. Just as she turned, she startled when she noticed him in her doorway. "Oh! I didn't see you there." He didn't mean to follow her. It wasn't something he normally did, but after spending those few moments in her room earlier, he wanted to be in her space with her. It smelled like her, and everything in it represented who she was. "My dates usually don't follow me into my bedroom before we go out," she teased. It took her a moment before she realized what she said. "I didn't mean it like that! I didn't...you know...not when Katie was here and only..." She covered her face with her hands. "I can't believe I just said that. I didn't sleep with every guy I dated. Not that you care. I just wanted to put it out there. I'm going to shut up." Flustered, she turned away to reach for her jewelry box.

Loosening his fists, he tried not to think of the men who had been in her bed. He wasn't naïve. She'd had sex, but he didn't particularly care to be reminded of it. It brought out the possessive side of him that he didn't like.

Jealousy was ugly, and when he thought of her with her former boyfriends, it made him sick to his stomach. He'd wanted her so badly that he'd turn to other women, believing he'd never have a chance with her. They didn't bring him what he honestly desired. Bridget. _Always Bridget._

"Sorry." He took another step inside as she pulled out the jewelry he gave her. Instead of buying his girlfriend at the time a Valentine's Day present, he found the perfect necklace for Bridget. He saved it to give it to her for her birthday four years ago.

He blatantly stared at her, not bothering to hide his want or arousal. She was beautiful, inside and out, and should be looked at, admired, and worshiped.

She put the earrings in but struggled with the clasp of her necklace. Silently, he walked up behind her, surprising her once again. Looking at her through the mirror, he watched as her mouth opened slightly until he placed the necklace around her neck. She closed her eyes and took a shuddering breath as he clasped it and adjusted it. The small emerald hung low, as if to draw his attention to the place he was admiring earlier. Holding back was becoming more difficult. All he wanted to do was to tell her he loved her and make love to her, to kiss her, and slowly strip her dress off, so he could admire every incredible inch of her.

His hands shook as they slid down to her hips where he gripped them. "Are you ready?"

She nodded and turned in his arms.

"God, Bridget. There are no words to describe how beautiful you are." He caressed her cheek with the back of his hand, sliding down her neck. She tilted her head, allowing him access. He desperately wanted to take advantage of it, but not before he talked to her.

With hands fisted in restraint once again, he pulled away, hopefully for the last time. He was beginning to lose his control. It appeared, he wasn't the only one. "We should go." As he turned to leave, he saw the open box and piles of notebooks scattered on her bed. "What's this?"

Her cheeks flushed under his stare. "My writing. Up until Katie." She shrugged as if it was no big deal, but the way she placed the notebooks back in the box told a different story.

"I didn't realize you wrote."

"I loved it. Still do. I just hadn't written anything for a really long time."

"Can I read something?" He bent forward to pick up a notebook, but the crease in her forehead and her tense eyes made him pull back. "It's okay. When you're ready, I'd love to read whatever you write."

"I've never let anyone read my stories, except a high school teacher...and, apparently, Katie," she said with a low chuckle.

"Katie?"

"Yeah. She found this box and made her way through some awful stories." She smiled up at him, and the crease on her forehead eased.

"Stories? Huh. Is that what you've been doing so secretly on your laptop?"

Her jaw dropped, and she sucked in a deep breath.

He had answered her question before she asked. "I notice everything about you, Bridget." He held her gaze. She bit down on her lower lip as her cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink. It took him a moment to remember what they were talking about. His brain could only concentrate on the shape of her lips, her soft skin, and her hair that he was dying to pull out of its bun.

Clearing his throat, he took a hold of her hand and led her out of her room. "So what have you been writing?" he asked curiously.

"Umm...a story." Her vague reply only intrigued him. Digging deeper may push her away, but his curiosity won out.

"What's it about?"

"I guess it's about...me, a sixteen-year-old girl, whose life changed for the better when she met the best man she has ever known." She blushed again.

Never in his life had he wanted to read something so badly. The only question left to ask was, "How does it end?"

She shook her head. "I don't know."

Breaking from his gaze, she noticed the gift on her coffee table. She looked back to him and pointed to the present. "Is that for me?"

His mouth turned up into a sly grin. "Yeah..." He cleared his throat. "I had no idea that... Well...open it." He sat down on the couch, pulling her next to him, and placed the wrapped package on her lap. She looked back and forth between him and the gift as she ripped off the paper.

"What? Oh my God, Billy!" she gasped, then big rolling tears slid down her cheeks. She wiped them away with the back of her hand. "I'm starting to think I'll never stop crying today, but...this." She placed it on the table and launched herself into his arms. She had one knee braced next to his thigh while the rest of her draped over him. With her cheek pressed against his, she whispered, "Thank you. You shouldn't have."

He'd do it every day if it meant he could hold her like this and put a smile on her face. "Yes, I should. Especially now that I know you're writing. I had no idea. You've been using that old computer, and I don't think it'll last much longer." She pulled away and sat beside him, staring at her new laptop. Unable to stop talking, he nervously rambled on and on about the aspects of it.

He loved making her happy, but at the same time was uncomfortable with thanks. She just stared at it with her eyes shining. Her hand slid across his thigh and took his hand. She entwined their fingers, and they sat in silence for a few minutes. "If I'd had any idea that you had started writing, I would've bought you one sooner. I want to support you in everything you do. I'm always going to be here for you, and I'll be your biggest cheerleader."

"You've always been that for me, ever since I walked into your diner. You don't have to buy me things, but I appreciate it." She tightened her hold on his hand and with a voice barely above a whisper, she said, "You're always thinking of me."

There wasn't a truer statement. "I am."
Chapter Thirty-Six

# June 2012

## Billy

"Billy! Is that you?"

He turned to see a familiar and lovely face. "Freja?" He hung up the gas pump nozzle and stepped over the median as she moved around her car and gave him a full-length view.

"Wow. Look at you." He squeezed her into a friendly hug. "You are absolutely glowing."

"Thanks." She smiled as she rubbed her extremely pregnant belly. "You're very sweet."

"What are you doing in town?" The last thing he heard, she had joined Doctors Without Borders.

"Work. I came to do a consultation."

"How long are you here?"

"Actually, I'm heading home to Phoenix tonight. But I have time for an old friend if you're free for dinner. I'm starving. As usual." Her laugh brought a smile to his face. It was one of the things he missed most about her.

"We wouldn't want baby and Mama to go hungry. How about your favorite Mexican restaurant?"

"Perfect. I'll meet you there."

She finished his rice and beans after clearing her own plate.

"So tell me everything. I haven't heard from you since you came back from Africa."

"Well," she smiled, "I married the guy."

"The one you left me for?"

"Billy!" She pinched his arm. "Don't start."

"I'm not. I'm happy for you. So you're married and pregnant."

"I also have a rambunctious three-year-old."

A wave of warmth filled him seeing her so happy. "That's wonderful. Any pictures?"

"Of course, what kind of mother would I be?" She pulled out her phone and flipped through happy family photos. The images revealed an attractive couple and impish little boy. "You seem happy."

"I am. I never imagined it could be this good." She grinned at the picture of her little man hamming it up. "What about you? You and Bridget married?"

"Just friends." Always just friends.

"Please, tell me you're kidding." She shook her head and gave him the same 'Mom look' he repeatedly got from Diane. "Seriously, Billy?" she huffed. "You are unbelievable. You enjoy torturing yourself?"

"Excuse me?"

"You know what I'm talking about. You're in love with her, but you're still not with her. Have you even tried?" She took his water and finished it off for him.

"It has never been the right time."

"So, that would be a no? You were supposed to be with her. She's why we broke up. All those years we tried to make it work, but it never would because you were in love with Bridget."

"And now look at you. You're married," he said with a wry smile, trying to change the subject.

"Happily married, mind you. I want that for you. On the surface, we were great, but what I have with Matt is more, so much more. It's a core-deep love you and I never shared. I believe it's what you could have with Bridget."

He couldn't argue with her. He knew it could be. _Would be_.

"You're not getting any younger," she teased.

After paying the bill, he followed her to her car. She kissed his cheek and said, "Love you, Billy."

"Love you, too." He gave her one last hug and helped her in the car. "Keep in touch."

"I will." She waved as she pulled away.

He watched her drive away and thought about what she said. He also thought about Bridget. Neither of them were currently dating anyone. Nothing was keeping them apart except for themselves.

He felt a surge of confidence and decided he would go see her. He needed to at least test the waters.

As he drove across town to her apartment, he caught a glimpse of a familiar shape sitting on a park bench. It was dark, but a street light shone down on her like a spotlight.

He pulled over and jogged to her. "Sweets?"

"Billy?" She ran into his arms, tears streaking down her face. He held her tight and choked when he smelled alcohol on her breath.

He kept an arm around her as he guided her to his truck. "What are you doing out here—alone?"

She came to a halt a few feet from the truck. "Don't tell Mom!" she cried.

"Don't ask me to do that." He settled her in his truck and helped her buckle the seatbelt since her hands were trembling.

"Tell me what happened."

"Promise you won't tell Mom?"

"No. But if you tell me what happened, I might be able to smooth things over with her."

"Fine, but don't leave me alone with her." She had good reason to be afraid. Bridget turned into a rampaging mama bear when it came to boys and parties.

"Deal. Now, what happened?"

"Dean took me to a party." He held back a sigh at the mention of her boyfriend's name. Billy should have known he would be involved in whatever had happened. Why couldn't she have picked a better guy for a first boyfriend?

"I can smell." He rolled down the windows to clear the stench from his truck.

She sighed dramatically and rolled her eyes.

"Go on," he said.

"Dean and I were making out, and he wanted to go further. I did too—at first."

Billy sucked in a breath and gripped the steering wheel.

_Don't. Freak. Out._

"We left the party to find a...um...well, anyway, I changed my mind."

_Breathe. Just breathe._

"He got frustrated and told me to get out of the car. He dropped me off here, but I left my phone in his car so I couldn't call."

_Don't kill him. If you go to prison, Bridget and Katie would be alone again._

He let the silence hang between them until he could speak without letting his murderous mental dialogue show. If he saw that kid again... It would just be better if he didn't. "I'm glad you didn't let him pressure you."

She rolled her eyes. "You have met my mom, right?"

"Yes, which is why we're stopping at my house and getting you some food and coffee before I take you home."

"Thanks, _my_ Billy." It had been a few years since she called him 'my Billy.' If she wanted to soften him, it worked.

"Don't thank me. I'm still going to take you home, and you will have to tell her what happened."

"I have a better idea. How about you call her and tell her what happened? I can sleep over and give her enough time to calm down."

"Nope."

She leaned her head against the door and sighed. "She's going to be pissed."

"Probably."

* * *

Fed and pumped with coffee, Sweets took her own sweet time getting back in the truck. As much as he didn't want to go, he also wanted to get it over with.

As he turned the key in the ignition, Bridget's ringtone blared like a trumpet in the quiet pickup. He glanced at Sweets, who chanted, "Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit."

"Hello?"

"Dean's here, and Katie isn't." The panic in her voice was reaching epic levels.

"She's with me."

The phone went silent. He lifted it away from his face to see if they were still connected.

"She called you and not me?" Bridget didn't wait for a response. "Bring her home." The phone disconnected.

"That was her?"

He nodded.

"I don't want to go home," Katie whispered.

He didn't want to take her home.

"I know she's going to freak out. She's afraid I'm going to get pregnant at sixteen, but she needs to give me a little credit."

"She tries, but she also lived through it. It wasn't easy for her." He was still in awe of how she did it.

"Maybe she'll be less angry if you're with me," she said hopefully.

"Doubt it."

* * *

Katie tried to hide behind him as they entered the apartment, but he managed to push her through first.

Bridget clutched Katie to her with a death grip. "You're safe!" Bridget choked on the tears streaming down her face.

"Mom, I can't breathe."

She held onto Katie's arms as she stepped back. "What were you thinking? You should have called me."

"I'm sorry. Dean has my phone." They turned to stare at the boy who started it all. He leaned against the wall, sweaty, awkward, and looking as if his head was on the chopping block. He still had the sparkly case in his hand and held it out like a shield. Billy took it from him.

"What happened?" Bridget demanded. The tears were gone and her jaw was set.

"Mom, calm down." Katie held up a hand and stepped away from her.

Bridget pinched her lips and pointed her finger. "Don't tell me what to do."

"Okay. Fine. Go nuts." Billy cringed inwardly. Katie was making it harder for herself.

"Katherine Bree Larson, I am your mother. You will not speak to me that way." Billy and Katie took another step back.

_Oh Shit. She used all three names._

"Sorry. We went to a party."

"Okaaaay..." Bridget held her hand out, waiting for her to finish and tapped her foot impatiently

"We were making out and things were getting—"

"Oh my God! You're having sex, and you didn't tell me?" Billy's hand hit his forehead.

"You knew?" She pointed to him. "How dare you keep this from me!"

"Bridget—" She cut him off with a cold stare.

"Not. A. Word."

Katie turned to Billy with pleading eyes, but he had nothing. She turned back to Bridget. "Mom, we didn't have sex."

"Are you using protection? Why didn't you tell me you were having sex? We're going to make a doctors' appointment tomorrow. You're going on birth control. I can't believe you're having sex and didn't tell me." Bridget's eyes were round and manic. She threw her arms in all directions while she yelled.

Katie's eyes were wide when she turned back to him, silently begging him to intervene.

He placed a hand on Bridget's shoulder to get her attention. "She didn't say she was sexually active. You didn't listen."

She shoved his hand away. "Butt out, Billy."

He held his hands up and retreated. He didn't know who this woman was, but it wasn't his Bridget.

"Mom, nothing happened. When I...uh, stopped things, he dropped me off at the bus stop."

Dean spoke for the first time. "I'm leaving. Good night, Ms. Larson. I'll call you, Katie."

"Chicken," Katie said under her breath.

"You! Stop!" Bridget's voice stopped Dean cold before he could open the door.

"Listen to me." Her voice was low and dangerous. Stepping closer, she pushed her finger into his chest to emphasize each word. "No boy will EVER treat my daughter that way. Do you understand me?"

He blinked and nodded, real fear written across his face.

"She deserves better than some asshole leaving her on the side of the road without a phone because he's not getting fucked!"

A chorus of gasps sounded at her language. Billy had no idea she had it in her.

"I will never see your face again. Will I?"

Billy watched the kid swallow the lump in his throat and shook his head. "No, ma'am." He was positive that it was the last they'd see of him.

"MOM! You can't do that," Katie cried.

"I can do whatever I Goddamn want. You're my daughter, and he put you in danger."

Dean made a break for it. The door slammed behind him, and Billy wished he had followed suit.

Bridget rounded on Katie. "Go to bed, but this is not over." Katie opened her mouth, but one look from her mother changed her mind and sent her flying into her room.

Bridget glared silently at Billy until Katie's door closed.

"Bridget," he said calmly, "let's sit down and talk about this."

"Why didn't you call me?"

He tried to come up with an excuse that would get past her rage, but his mind was blank.

"I'm her mother. You should have been dialing my number the moment you saw her. I realize you don't think I can handle anything on my own, but I can. I don't need you!"

He tried to tell himself it was her anger talking, but it felt like a slap in the face.

"I know you can." He took a step toward her, wanting to get closer and touch her. He hadn't realized he made her feel that way.

"Then why did you hide this?"

"I didn't hide it. You're blowing this way out of proportion."

"Do you remember how we met? I don't want that for her, and for you to keep this from me..."

"I didn't keep anything from you. I found her on the side of the road." No matter what he said, she wasn't going to listen.

"She should have called me."

"She didn't have her cell."

"And she couldn't use a pay phone? Borrow a phone? Don't make excuses for her." Her voice rose exponentially with every word.

"Are you mad at me or her?"

"Both of you!"

"You should see yourself. No wonder she didn't want to come home!" The moment the words left his mouth, he knew it was a mistake, and the look on her face said she was going to make him pay for it. "Bridget, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."

"Bullshit! You come in here 'saving the day', the way you always do and expect me to grovel with gratitude. You are not her dad."

That was it. He was done trying to make her see reason. She was intentionally trying to hurt him.

"That was your choice, Bridget!"

"What? Are you serious?"

"If you had married me when I asked, I would be her dad."

"Believe it or not, Billy Hall, it is not every girl's dream to be proposed to out of pity. That wasn't an offer for me. That was for you. You have always been more than happy to play the martyred hero."

"You know what?" He sucked air through his clenched teeth. "Never mind. I'm leaving! You are completely insane right now." He opened the door and took a step out.

"That's right, ride in on your white horse and make me out to be the villain. Just once it would be nice if a man took responsibility for his own fuckups."

"I'm not doing anything to make you the bad guy, Bridget. You're doing that all on your own, and as for taking responsibility, go take a long look in the mirror."

The walls shook as he slammed the door. The sound of the lock turning and a kick on the door echoed into the night.

The hope he held a few short hours ago that there could be something more with Bridget died as he jogged down the stairs, his temper rising with each step.
Chapter Thirty-Seven

# August 8:00 PM

## Bridget

Nervous energy and, she'd swear, sexual tension hung between them during the ride to his house. Or it could just be her.

She had to catch herself multiple times from jumping into his arms and kissing him. If it weren't for his mixed signals, she would've attacked him on her couch after opening her present.

One moment, he appeared to want more, and then the next, he'd pull away. The confusion mixed with her desire was messing with her emotions.

She had to remind herself that he could just be trying to be nice. If that was the case, he was doing an excellent job. He was the sweetest man she had ever met.

While waiting for him to come around to open her door, she checked her lipstick. It wasn't something she usually concerned herself with, but tonight was different. She wanted to look her best.

He offered his hand to help her out and walked behind her, placing a hand on her lower back, guiding her through the kitchen door.

"Wow, dinner smells wonderful. Did you make a roast?" It thrilled her that he made the effort of making her favorite dinner. She expected they'd go to a restaurant, where they'd be surrounded by people. It concerned her as she thought about how awkward it would be to open up to him in front of others.

"Yes, with potatoes and carrots and rolls." He smiled as his hand slid down her back, but then he pulled away.

Again.

She held back a frustrated moan. Her stomach was still in knots, and she prayed that she'd be able to eat and relax this evening.

"Make yourself comfortable. I'm going to finish up here. It shouldn't be too much longer."

She stepped into the dining room and took a closer look at the table setting. "Is that...?" It was. He used his mom's china. Tears sprung from her eyes. Last Thanksgiving, Katie asked why he never used the dishes in the cabinet. He confessed that he was saving them for the right time.

_Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry._

Choking back the tears, she moved into the living room. His home was warm and inviting, and this was by far her favorite room.

The first time he brought her here, she was pregnant, and it was still very much his parents' house. He'd just lived here, but through the years, it became his. It was a mix of masculine with the leather, wood, and the brick fireplace that took up half a wall. The gold-ish yellow paint along with big pillows and throws gave it just enough softness to make it comfortable.

A hand reached in front of her, startling her once again. She hated being on edge. Just the slightest movements caused her to jump. She took the wineglass filled with ice water and looked at him curiously. "Water?" She lifted a questioning brow.

"I want you completely and utterly sober tonight. Remember?" Her stomach twisted just a little more. Eating was going to be impossible.

Her eyes followed him as he walked back to the kitchen. She couldn't help but admire his long, muscular build. Everything about him was physically enticing, from his tattoos to his grayish blue eyes that were more gray than blue tonight.

Just as she was getting comfortable on his couch, he entered the room, holding his own glass of water. "You hungry?"

"Yes." But not for food.

She followed him into the dining room, where he pulled out a chair for her. She couldn't see him behind her, but she felt the slight tremor from his hands. It was a small comfort to her that he was as nervous as her.

Dinner probably tasted delicious, but the only thing she tasted was her rising anxiety. They made small talk, but it was forced. By the time they finished, it was obvious that neither of them knew what to say.

It was awkward. Maybe it was a sign that changing their relationship was a bad idea. They had a good friendship, in fact, it was great. He was her best friend, and maybe that's how it should stay.

Before her mind could end their relationship before it started, her phone rang.

"Katie!" She sprung from her seat and rushed to her purse, pulling out her phone. Billy chuckled under his breath as he followed her into the kitchen with their dirty plates. She didn't bother giving him a scowl for making fun of her, especially knowing he would've had the same reaction.

A wave of relief washed over her. Her baby girl was calling, and she was getting a reprieve from the tension between her and Billy. "Hey, sweetie! You made it?"

"Yup. Did Billy tell you I called?"

She looked over her shoulder at him, and he sheepishly looked away. "No. He. Didn't." enunciating every word loud enough for him to hear. She tried to sound upset, but her smile gave her away. "He must have forgotten."

He mouthed, "Sorry," as he placed dirty dishes in the sink. Putting the phone between her head and shoulder, she started rinsing them off as her daughter chatted away about her flight and who she sat next to.

The natural comfort she had with Billy returned as they worked together as they'd always done. She did the dishes while he put the food away and wiped down the counters and table.

"So you met your new roommate?"

"Yeah. She's even cooler than I thought. Oh my gosh! You would not believe how gorgeous she is. She's the complete opposite of me; tall and blonde. When I first saw her, I was totally intimidated, until she hugged me. We talk as if we've been friends for years.

"I'm so glad I decided to live off campus and braved looking at roommate ads. I think it's going to work out great."

"So did your boxes show up today?"

"Yup. She and her brother put them in my room before I got here." The way Katie's voice hitched at the word brother made Bridget's 'Mom Senses' go on high alert.

"Brother?"

Katie nervously laughed.

_Oh no._

Bridget's already queasy stomach started to roll. She gripped the sink and took a deep breath. With Katie's looks and personality, boys were never far behind, but she no longer had Billy close by to intimidate them.

Billy's hand slid around her waist, and he leaned into her. "Everything okay?" Looking into his concerned eyes, she nodded and lifted her hand to his cheek and used her thumb to ease the lines between his brows. He leaned against the kitchen counter and pulled her into his arms. She leaned into his chest as she kept talking to her daughter.

"Yeah. He's really sweet and funny. But you don't have to worry. He doesn't live here. He's just visiting his family for a few weeks so...you know..."

She didn't want to think about the boys that Katie might meet. In the back of her mind, Bridget knew she taught her well, but she still worried that Katie would make the same mistakes she did. "Well, I'm glad you like your roommate; that's a relief."

"Oh! Tell Billy thank you for the present! Eric is going to take me to pick it up tomorrow." Bridget pictured her bouncing with the phone in her hand.

"Wait. Who's Eric, and pick what up?" Billy loosened his grip around her waist and turned his head away from her penetrating gaze.

He bought Katie something?

"He didn't tell you? UGH! Of course, he didn't. You will not believe it; he bought me a car and paid my rent for the year!" In shock, Bridget lost her grip on the phone. It landed on the ground, thankfully in one piece. She pushed away from him to pick it up, but he got to it first. She held onto his hand when he tried to give it to her.

"You bought her a car?"

He nodded. Running his fingers through his hair, he opened his mouth to explain when she held up a hand to keep him from talking. She placed the phone next to her ear and cheerfully said, "That's wonderful and very generous of him."

"I'm sorry to do this, but we're headed out to go meet up with their friends. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Okay, sweetie. Be safe."

"Yup."

She placed her phone on the granite countertop then turned to face him. "A car."

"Yes. She's going to need one, so I found a dealership near her and bought her a four-door sedan that is safe, reliable and isn't too expensive. I swear. I know how much you hate me spending money on you girls, but I prefer her not to have to use public transportation. It's safer." He would've kept talking if she hadn't interrupted him.

"You bought her a car." This time the words came out strained.

He nodded again and gripped the counter as if he was waiting for her to go off on him. Instead, she stepped toward him, sliding her arms around his waist. He had hesitated for a moment before he pulled her closer. She mumbled, "Thank you," into his chest.

He released a sigh of relief. "Anything for my girls."

_His girls_. He got that right. They'd always been his girls.

"Come with me." He took her hand and pulled her to the living room. While she sat on one corner of the couch, he turned on his iPod then sat close, but not close enough. He reached for her feet and pulled them onto his lap. She stiffened at his touch until he pulled her shoes off and began rubbing her feet.

His hands were magic, pressing in the right spots to relieve the tension she held all day. When his hand moved up to massage her calf, a moan escaped her lips. Surprised by her reaction, she covered her mouth with her hands. Their eyes connected with heat and need.

It wasn't just her.

If he had looked at her in that way years ago, she wouldn't have waited eighteen years to beg him to love her. She leaned her head back and tried to enjoy the moment, but she couldn't put it off any longer. There was no delaying the inevitable.

He looked lost in thought as she touched his arm to get his attention. "Billy."

"Hmmm?" He looked at her while his hand stilled on her calf.

"Do you want to start or me?" she asked.

He let go of her feet, and she pulled them under her, trying to get comfortable while simultaneously bracing herself for the worst-case scenario.

"I will," he said.
Chapter Thirty-Eight

# February 2013

## Bridget

Waving the phone in the air, Diane shouted, "Hey, sweetie. It's for you."

"I'll trade you." Handing over the tray of dirty dishes, she passed the phone to her.

"Hello, this is Bridget."

"Hello, Ms. Larson. This is Barry Lloyd. I'm Robert Larson's attorney."

Sucking in a deep breath, she leaned against the wall. She hadn't heard her father's name for over seventeen years. It hit her as hard as a physical punch to the stomach.

"Mom? You okay?" She turned to the sound of Katie's voice. With a fake smile and forced cheerfulness, she nodded before moving blindly out the back door of the diner. She wouldn't be able to hold the smile for long and didn't want anyone to worry.

There were two things she didn't talk about with Katie. The first was Phillip and the second, her father; the two people who hurt her more than anyone should be able to.

"Ms. Larson, you still there?"

She cleared her throat, but her voice was still barely above a whisper. "Yes."

"The reason I'm calling is that your fa— Rob is in the hospital."

"Okay..." She still wasn't sure why he would be calling her. Her mind raced with a million possibilities, but none prepared her for what he said next.

"He's dying, Ms. Larson." Stumbling back, she hit the wall with force, knocking the air out of her. She slid down, leaning her head back.

"He's dying?"

Wasn't she supposed to be sad or something? An intense numbness settled in her belly. He's dying. They were words pieced together, but her mind refused to process it.

"I'm still not sure why you're calling me." Her voice sounded small, even to her.

"I'm not only his attorney but his longtime friend. I think it might be good to see him before—"

"If you're friends then you know why I wouldn't want to." She closed her eyes, swallowing the lump in her throat.

_He kicked me out._

_He never loved me._

_He didn't want me._

_He didn't want Katie_.

"Yes, I do. But I would also like to talk to you about his Will. Could you meet me at the hospital?"

"What about his Will?"

"You and Katherine are the beneficiaries and some decisions will have to be made." Why? Why would he...? She didn't understand a word this man was saying.

"You must be mistaken."

"I have it right here in my hands. Please, could you meet me at the hospital?"

"I...uh...okay. When?"

"As soon as possible. The doctors don't think he'll make it through the night."

"I can be there in an hour. I'll call you when I arrive."

"I'll see you then."

The back door swung open, startling her. She attempted to stand up, but her legs were still shaking beneath her.

"Whoa." Billy gripped her arms to steady her. "Bridget?" She stared at him, but she wasn't really seeing him. She could only see her dad's face.

"Hey." His hand caressed her cheek before moving back down her arm. This was the first time he had intentionally touched her since their argument over Katie months before. She had missed it. Things between them had been strained, broken, and she wanted nothing more than the comfortable familiarity they shared before her tirade. She needed his strength and comfort, but things weren't right, and she couldn't ask him to be there for her now.

Pushing his hands away, she took in a deep breath. He stepped back and shoved his hands in his pockets. The concern he showed only moments ago evaporated. Cold Billy was back. She didn't like this version of him.

"Billy, I need some time off."

"Why?" She couldn't look at him when she spoke. He would see how utterly shattered she was, and she didn't want him to know. She wanted to take care of herself. She didn't need him. At least she didn't want to need him.

She pulled up strength she didn't know she had and spoke. "I need to take care of some things."

"What things?"

She didn't want to have this conversation with him. "It's none of your business." She threw the words at him.

He opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. He turned away and paced the length of the diner's back wall. She could see his anger growing in the way his jaw flexed and the hard stomp of his gait. She was about to ask him again when he stopped in front of her. His arms were crossed in front of his chest, and his back was straight as a board. If she didn't know him, she would have found it intimidating.

"How much time?"

"I'm not sure. It could be just today, or I might need a week. But, I need to leave right now."

He dropped his arms and stepped closer until he was less than a foot away. "Bridget? Are you in trouble?" He reached out to touch her but dropped his hand before it connected with her arm.

Staring at his hand that now hung at his side, she answered, "No. It's... Please, I can't talk about it, but I'm not in trouble. It's not illegal. It's...just something I need to deal with."

"What about Sweets?"

"That was something else I wanted to talk to you about. Can she stay with you until...whenever?"

"Of course." His voice softened, but the crease in the center of his forehead only deepened.

"Thank you." She stepped around him to run up the stairs to her apartment.

When she was halfway up, he called out to her. "Bridget, if you need anything, I'm here. I know things are..." He shook his head. "I'm here."

"I know. Thank you." She wished she could talk to him about her father, but it was different between them now. She had made it that way, but she didn't know how to fix it.

* * *

She wasn't sure how long she stood outside his hospital room door. Twice she turned around and took the elevator back down to the lobby and twice she returned to stand in front of the door. Finally, she pushed it open and stepped inside.

He was bald. It was the first thing she noticed. His thick, curly hair—the same shade as her own—was gone. Even closed, his eyes looked too big for his gaunt face. His skin was void of any color.

_It wasn't him._

The intimidating man that she had grown up knowing as her father had transformed into nothing more than a loose assembly of skin and bone. If she put her hand around his wrist, her finger and thumb would meet.

Someone cleared his throat, notifying her of another presence in the room. She turned to see a stranger sitting in a chair in the corner. He stood and offered his hand. "Bridget? I'm Barry."

She placed her hand in his. It was surprisingly warm. She expected any man who would be friends with her father to be as cold as he was. His appearance was casual, approachable, and even a little fatherly, nothing that she would expect from an attorney.

He pulled out a chair for her and placed it next to her father's bed. "It's nice to meet you."

She wished she could say the same. She nodded but turned her gaze back to the shell of a man that lay in the hospital bed.

"His doctor doesn't think it's going to be much longer." She thought she should feel something, but the numbness overcame her again. She was relieved. She didn't want to feel anything for him.

"We're not sure if he's even aware of what's going on. He hasn't spoken for a week. The pain meds are pretty strong, so he's in and out."

She didn't know what to say. He spoke to her as if all of this had mattered. As if she had a relationship with the man and that his death would be a tragic blow, but it wasn't for her. She didn't care he hadn't spoken. It had been so long since she heard his voice, she didn't even remember what he sounded like.

Taking the offered seat, she sat and stared at the still form. What was she doing here? He wouldn't know she was there, and even if he did, for all she knew, it would piss him off.

"You can talk to him." His voice was gentle as he laid a hand on her shoulder.

"And say what?" He pulled his hand away as if she had tried to bite it. What could she say? That she hated him? That he hurt her so badly that the wound still hadn't healed? That he did her a favor because now she had a family who cared about her and Katie? There wasn't anything to say.

His jaw clamped shut. Knowing she was directing her anger at him didn't stop her from doing it. He might have been a great guy. But she could only see him as someone who would befriend a heartless man like her father.

Every day she looked at her daughter as the most wonderful gift she had ever received. It hurt knowing her dad didn't feel the same about her.

She wasn't sure how long she sat next to him. Her eyes followed the line on the machine that tracked her father's heartbeat. Looking at him was unbearable. The beep of one of the machines hooked up to him was the only sound. Then suddenly it changed.

The line on the machine went flat.

Silence.

Barry stood next to him and took his hand. "Goodbye, old friend." A tear streaked down his cheek.

A doctor came in and announced time of death. February 17, 2013, at 20:12.

His life was over, and she couldn't bring herself to cry.

She stepped into the hallway as a nurse entered, unable to get out of there fast enough. She got as far as the elevators when a hand gripped her arm. "Bridget, do you want to say goodbye before they take his body away?"

"We said goodbye seventeen years ago when he told me never to come back." She pulled her arm out of his grasp.

He had the grace to look ashamed but continued, "We still need to discuss some issues."

"I'm exhausted. Can we do it another day?"

"Yes, of course. How about tomorrow? Eleven at my office?"

She took his offered card, nodded and stepped onto the elevator.

* * *

She wasn't sure how she ended up there. The last time she had seen it was the day he kicked her out. Not once had she had a desire to 'go home'. It had never been her home. It appeared to be the same cold, sterile place where people existed but didn't live.

Her mother's car was still parked on the side of the house. It had layers of dirt and the tires were deflated and rotten. He had been adamant that it didn't belong to her, yet he had just left it there to die.

Her phone rang. She glanced down to see an image of smiling Kent. He was sunshine and easy. He didn't take much seriously, which was why she would like to think she hadn't called him. The truth was it hadn't even occurred to her.

"Hey."

"Hey, babe. Where are you? I'm at your door, but the lights are out and your car is gone. It's kind of late for you to be out."

"Why are you there?"

"Duh. I wanted to come see you. I just got off shift and needed some sweet loving before going to bed."

"I'm not home." Unsure why she stated the obvious, she shook her head.

A burst of laughter came through the phone. It seemed unreasonably loud and harsh after the silence of her car. "I know. That's why I'm calling."

"I'm in the middle of something."

"How about breakfast tomorrow? It's been days since I had my tongue in your mouth and all the other delicious places."

She closed her eyes, wanting him to help her forget for a moment. That was what he was good for. Eight years younger, he didn't have any expectations. He was just—easy.

"We'll have to plan something."

"Plan? Is that where our relationship is going?" he teased. "Are we like some old married couple who have to plan for sex now?"

"I'm going to be really busy for the next week or so. How about I call you when things settle down?"

His voice turned serious. "Babe? Are you all right? Is Katie with you?"

"I'm fine. Just dealing with...stuff. And Katie is fine. She's with Billy."

"Stuff? You and your secrets. Fine, fine. Call me if you need anything."

"Okay."

"Love you, sweet cheeks."

"Love you."

* * *

She drove past Billy's house on her way home. His lights were on, and she was tempted to stop, but her pride and the deep ravine that gaped between them kept her from accepting any comfort he would offer. She knew he would drop everything for her. It was who he was, but she didn't deserve it. Not after the way she treated him. They had talked after their big fight over Katie, but it hadn't been the same since. He was angry and she was angry that he was angry, and that was where they left it.

Stepping into her empty apartment, the loneliness overwhelmed her and dragged her back into the worst days of her life. Today was another one.

Her father took with him any chance that someday things could have been made right. It was truly just her and Katie now.

* * *

After years of getting up early, her body woke without an alarm. A few sounds from the diner could be heard through the floor. She had several hours before she had to meet Barry, but she couldn't stay home and risk Billy coming to look for her.

The chime of a text interrupted her thought.

**Katie:** Love you, Mom.

Bridget's heart broke a little. As much as she missed Katie, she was in no place emotionally to see her. Katie would know just by looking at her face that something was very wrong. Before she left, Bridget promised herself she would tell Katie about it when it was over.

Bridget entered Barry's office dressed in a skirt, blouse, and heels. She felt as fake as her concern over her father's Will. His death should have been the only thing she had to deal with.

Barry offered her a seat. "Robert left instructions for after his death. It's pretty straightforward; he wants to be cremated and doesn't want a funeral. I can take care of that if you'd like."

Relieved, she said, "Sure."

"Would you like his ashes?" She shook her head. "I'll deal with it then."

He pulled out a file with her father's name on it. "He left you his house." She stared at him in disbelief. "He has some debts, but if you sell the house, they'd cover them and leave you with a reasonably large sum of money. I can take care of that, too, if you'd like, but I'll need you to clean out the house."

The father who had rejected her left her his house. "Why would he do that?"

"Sorry?" Barry lifted his head from the pile of papers laid out in front of him.

"Why would he leave me his house?"

He pulled off his glasses and leaned forward on his elbows. "I've known your father for a long time, but he never discussed with me what happened between you two. I assume that he loved you and wanted to make sure you were taken care of."

She laughed, but it was only to keep from crying. "Take care of me? I don't think so. You need to re-read the Will. You made a mistake. He wouldn't leave me anything." She stood to leave, but Barry reached for her hand.

"Please, sit. I can see you're upset, and I suspect you have every right to be. Can I get you some tea or some water?"

"No, I just want to leave."

"We're not done. There's still more." He waved a hand toward the seat, and she sat back down, her back stiff against the soft chair.

"Robert started a savings account for Katherine back in May of nineteen-ninety-seven." Barry placed a bank deposit book and a letter from the bank in front of her. "When she turns twenty-one, she'll be able to take the money out. As you can see." He pointed to the balance on the deposit book. "It's a very large sum of money."

Bridget shoved it away and stood. "There's been a mistake. He wouldn't leave me a house, and he would never give Katie money. He wanted nothing to do with either of us." She reached the door as Barry stepped in front of her.

"Miss Larson. I know this must be a shock, but I'm not mistaken, nor am I making it up. It's very clear." He handed her keys and said, "These are to the house and his car, which he also left for you. Take some time to soak it in, and then we can discuss what to do with the house."

"I don't need time. I'd appreciate it if you dealt with the sale of the...property."

"That's no problem. As soon as it's empty, I'll get a realtor to place it on the market."

Gripping the keys, she managed, "Goodbye."

* * *

She lifted the blinds, lighting the dust particles in the air. The living room was exactly the same as the day she left, except the couch and chair had faded with age. When she opened the window to air the house out, she wondered how long it had been since anyone had been there.

The same feeling of emptiness filled her as she walked through the dining room into the kitchen. She shivered, unsure if it was because the heat was turned down or because of the lifelessness of the house. Memories flooded her mind; her existence there and the feeling of being utterly lost and alone. Selling it was the right thing to do. Maybe another family would be able to bring it warmth and life.

Sitting at the dining room table, she searched on her phone for donation centers that did pick-ups. They could take everything. After making arrangements with different organizations, she walked upstairs to her bedroom. She assumed he had cleared it out years ago, wanting to remove anything that would remind him of her. When she reached the top of the stairs, she noticed that her door stood open. When she stepped inside, it was like walking into a shadow box of her life.

Her bed was still unmade, precisely the way she left it seventeen years ago. An open notebook lay on the bed, the pages dried and yellow. When she lifted it, the pages crinkled in her hands. The writing had faded.

Pictures of her and Tiffany that had once been taped to her wall, lay on the floor where they fell. The bottoms of the drawers left open when she packed were coated in dead bugs and dust.

She smiled at the clothes that hung in her closet. Katie would have loved to see the clothes she'd worn. She slid the closet door wider to see if there was anything salvageable to take home when she discovered her box of writing.

She pulled it out, flipping the lid off the plastic container. Her life history sat before her, along with all the dreams and imagination of her younger self.

Her phone rang, disturbing the silence of the house.

Kent again. She placed her cell back in her pocket without answering.

She carried her box of journals out to her car and took one last look around the house before locking the door behind her.

It was dark by the time she returned home, but still early enough that she might run into Billy. She breathed a sigh of relief that his truck wasn't parked near her spot. She carried her box of stuff up the stairs and shoved it into the far back of her closet. She wasn't ready to go through it.

Restless, she pulled out a bottle of wine and managed to get through a glass before someone knocked on her door. She sat on the end of her couch, hoping whoever it was would go. But the knocking continued.

She opened the door just enough to see who it was.

"You're home."

"As you can see."

Billy sighed. She wasn't sure if it was from relief or the tone she used to speak to him. He tried to look behind her, but she blocked his view with the door, barely allowing him to see her.

"Is Katie okay?" she asked.

"Yeah. She's worried about you and wants to know when she can come home."

"Just another day. Maybe two." She stared at his chest, instead of looking him in the eye. He could read her too well, and she was already feeling raw and exposed. Billy having knowledge of what she was feeling would be too much.

"You all right?"

"Just heading to bed. I'll let you know when Katie can come home." He stuck his foot in the doorway before she could close the door.

"Talk to me, Bridget. I'm worried."

"Don't be. I'm all right." She kicked his foot out of the way then shut and locked the door.

* * *

Not wanting to be alone in the house again, Bridget stood frozen in the driveway, waiting for the first scheduled donation pick up.

"Whose house is this?" She jumped at the familiar voice and spilled coffee down her shirt.

She turned with a frown and asked, "How did you know where I was?"

"I followed you. I'm sorry." Billy paused. "Actually, I'm not. I'm worried." His tone was firm, but it wasn't the hard, detached one that had dominated their communication over the last several months.

She turned away from him before she answered. "It's my father's."

"I didn't know you had any contact with him."

"I don't...didn't. He died." She swallowed the lump in her throat. She had been holding it in pretty well, but telling Billy made it more real.

He slid an arm around her. "I'm sorry, Bridget. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to burden you."

He turned to face her, lifting her chin with a finger. "You aren't, and will never be, a burden. Ever."

She leaned her head against his chest. "I've felt like a burden to someone since I was fifteen." As much as she wanted him to hold her, she pulled away and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"May I ask why you're here?"

"He left it and everything in it to me."

He raised his brows. "Are you serious?"

"Unfortunately."

"Are you keeping it?"

She looked up at the house then to him. "No. I don't want it."

After catching him up on what she and the attorney discussed, he asked, "Do you want help going through his things?"

She shook her head. "I don't want anything of his. It's being donated."

"Have you gone through everything to make sure?"

"No. I went through everything but his bedroom. I can't go in there."

"Do you want me to?"

She looked at him, desperate to accept his help, but needing to push him away. She needed to prove to him that she was strong, that she could manage without him. "You don't need to stay. I've got this."

"I didn't say anything about need. I'm asking if you _want_ me to help. I know things are strained between us, but I still care about you, and I need to be here for you."

He was being so...Billy. "Okay. Will you go through his room? I doubt there's anything to save, but just in case..."

"Show me the way."

"BRIDGET!" Billy yelled from behind the closed bedroom door. She sat on the floor next to the door, waiting for him to finish and the donation workers to clear the main living area.

She opened the door and poked her head in. "What is it?" She still hadn't stepped inside.

He patted the spot next to him on the bed. "There's something you need to see."

She took a reluctant step inside and looked around. She hadn't realized she'd never been in this room before. Ever.

Once she was seated, Billy placed a photo album on her lap. "You might want to keep this."

She opened the old photo album and was surprised by the first picture. It was from her parents' wedding. She'd never seen a single picture of them together. What was more surprising was the smile on his face. She couldn't remember a single time she had seen him smile.

She flipped through pages filled with pictures of her and her dad together then suddenly, at about the age of three, the happy snapshots disappeared. They were replaced by a single copy of her school photos, one for each year. The change felt cold and abrupt. When she reached the last page, the album slipped from her hands.

Billy reached down and picked it up. "How did he get photos of you and Katie?"

Covering her face with her hands, she shook her head. "None of this makes sense." Sorrow ran through her. He left her the house and had pictures of her and Katie, but he never spoke to her or came to see her.

Confused, hurt, and angry, she pounded her fists on her knees. "I don't understand. He didn't love me! He ignored me, barely tolerated me, and never searched for me."

She lifted the lamp that sat next to the bed and threw it across the room, denting the wall and destroying the lamp. Her voice grew louder as she screamed, "Why couldn't you love me?" She reached for anything that she could throw, leaving a pile of broken items on the floor.

When she was done, the room was silent, except for her gasping breaths. Arms wrapped around her from behind. She had forgotten Billy was still there. Turning into his arms, the tears flowed. He held her tight against his chest.

"What did I do to make him hate me?" she cried. "I was so stupid. I really believed that one day he would come find us and apologize."

"You're not stupid. There's nothing stupid about wanting to be loved. There was something wrong with him. You're a very lovable person, second only to Sweets. In fact, so lovable it's hard to stay mad at you."

She pulled away and wearily smiled. "You've been doing a good job."

He wiped the tears from her eyes. "But I never stopped loving you."

"I'm so sorry, Billy. I know I overreacted with you and Katie."

He smiled and looked at the mess on the floor. "I think that night I just got a preview of what you're capable of. You're scary."

She laughed against his chest. "You have no idea."

When she got home, Kent was sitting on her stoop waiting for her. "Hey, baby, I've missed you." He pulled her onto his lap and gave her a sweet kiss. "You look like you've had a rough day."

That would be an understatement. "I did."

"Let me take care of you tonight."

She leaned against him. "Please."
Chapter Thirty-Nine

# March 2013

## Billy

"Wow, Sweets, you are stunning." He took her hand and led her in a slow spin so he could take in the entire picture. She blushed and thanked him. His eyes turned to her mother nervously chewing on her lower lip.

It was Sweets' Senior Prom, which meant in only a few months she'd be graduating. It didn't seem possible she was old enough.

Sweets jumped with excitement at the knock on the door. She ran for it, but he beat her to it. "You have to make an entrance. There are rules for prom date pick-ups." He smiled with enthusiasm.

She rolled her eyes but hurried to her room. Bridget stood hip to hip with him as he opened the door.

D.J. was a good-looking kid and polite. An enormous improvement over Katie's last boyfriend, but then again, it wasn't a high bar to beat. Billy actually liked this kid. He came to the diner to do homework and just hang out with her. Some nights, he stayed late to help close.

Bridget liked him but was still cautious. She worried more than he suspected most mothers did, but he didn't have a lot of experience outside the two of them.

Not long after her father's death, Bridget had come to him on the verge of another meltdown, because Katie had told her she wanted to go on birth control. That wasn't the problem, though. It was the mere fact that Katie was getting older that left Bridget a bit manic some days.

"Hello, Ms. Larson."

"Hello, D.J. You look handsome."

"Thank you." He had a young face and a crooked smile that Sweets gushed over.

Sweets didn't wait for them to call her out. She ran out and jumped into his arms. He swung her around, sporting a huge grin. "Man! I'm lucky! I have the hottest girl in school going to prom with me."

She blushed in his arms. They had it bad for each other. Another thing that seemed to leave Bridget on the edge. She was trying, but...

"Are you ready to go?"

"Yes, but I want to take a few pictures first."

They made sure to hit every combination. D.J and Katie, Katie and Billy, Bridget and D.J., but before Bridget and Billy knew it, Katie and D.J. were out the door, heading to dinner and the dance.

The moment the door closed, Bridget slumped on the couch, covering her face with her hands. "Tell me this isn't happening? Tell me she's not old enough to be going to her Senior Prom." She pulled her hands away and silently pleaded with him to say exactly that.

He sat and put an arm around her, hugging her to him. "I wish I could. What part bothers you the most?"

"The part where she's old enough. The part where they will be going to an after party with their friends. The part where they will be having sex. Oh my god. My baby is having sex!"

"This isn't a surprise."

She huffed. "I know, but... She's just a year older than I was when I had her. I worry she'll make the same mistakes I did."

"Even if she does...you did all right."

"Doesn't mean I want her to go through it. I wouldn't recommend it, especially if she doesn't have a Billy." She bumped his arm. He smiled, getting a little thrill from her comment. She'd always have him, whether she liked it or not. "No matter what, every guy she dates, I look at him and wonder if he would be around for the long haul if anything did happen. I want her to pick wisely. But then again, I could have sworn that... Never mind."

He wished she'd talk about it. He had always been curious, but she avoided talking about _him_ or what happened.

Billy squeezed her shoulder. "Bridget, even if the boy she picks doesn't deserve her, she would never be alone. She has us. I have an idea. Why don't you put on a nice dress, I'll go put my suit on, and we can get some ice cream—across the street from the dance. We could just happen to walk by and maybe pop our heads in for a minute to see her. You know, since we'll be walking by."

"You're smarter than I give you credit for."

"HEY!" He pinched her side, making her squeal.

He stood, pulled her off the couch and swatted her backside as she ran to her bedroom. "I'll be back in twenty minutes. Be ready."

"Hey, Mr. Bossy Pants, I might need more than twenty minutes."

Bridget licked her cone again, making his pants grow tight. This might not have been the best idea. He adjusted his slacks, again.

They managed to find a back door to the dance propped open with a chair. They took turns peeking their heads in searching for Sweets. No luck so far.

Leaning against the brick wall, Bridget smiled, taking another lick of her cone. He needed to stop looking at her or distract himself.

"Did you go to your prom?" she asked.

"Yes. I went with a girl named Samantha."

"Did you have sex that night?"

"Yes. It was the first time for both of us and so completely awkward that I have to laugh about it otherwise, I'll cry."

She tilted her head back and laughed. "I bet you were cute, but I can't imagine you without your tattoos."

"I wouldn't have called me cute, but I wasn't hideous. I managed to have a few girlfriends."

She winked. "I'm sure you did."

"Do you wish you went to prom?"

She shrugged with her mouth full of ice cream. It took her a moment to speak. "I'm sad that I missed some teenage things, but at the same time, it would mean not having Katie. Nothing would be worth that, especially not a dance."

She stuffed the rest of her cone in her mouth and smiled. He stared at her, so thankful she had come into his diner and that he had had the opportunity to be part of their lives.

Leaning her head back, she closed her eyes and whispered the words to the song playing inside. She looked beautiful, and he wanted desperately to hold her in his arms.

"Would you like to dance?"

"Really? Yes!"

She pushed off the wall and walked straight into his open arms. They moved in a slow circle, her head on his chest and arms wrapped around his neck. He kept his hands on her hips, holding back the desire to pull her closer.

Once the song ended, she lifted her head and smiled. She released her hold on him, but he didn't let go of her. One hand slid up her back and through her hair. He stared into her eyes, his breath growing ragged. He needed to kiss her. The moment he started to lean into her, a bright light flashed in his eyes. He lifted a hand, blocking the light, but he could only see red spots.

"What are you doing out here?"

Billy blinked until his vision cleared. The security guard flashed the light back and forth between him and Bridget. She leaned her head against his chest, laughing hard enough her body shook in his arms.

"We came to check on our daughter."

She lifted her head and looked at him with big eyes then turned to the guard and nodded in agreement.

"Every. Year." The older gentleman shook his head. "It wouldn't be prom unless some overprotective parents spied on their kids."

Bridget popped her mouth open to respond to the rude man, but Billy managed to get her turned around and forced her to step away before she said something she might regret. "We're leaving right now. You can put the flashlight away."

"But I didn't get to see Katie," Bridget whined.

"And we won't if they call the cops on us for trespassing."

"Fine." She stomped toward the truck the best she could in her high heels until he asked, "Waffles?"

* * *

After getting the ingredients out, she left him to mix and cook while she changed into her sleep shorts and tank top. If there was one thing that kept him up at night, it was thinking about her in her sleep clothes.

They ate, watched movies, and talked until they heard a key turn in the lock. She pulled him into her room, turned off the light but left the door ajar. "We should give them some privacy," she whispered. He chuckled to himself since she was doing anything but giving them privacy by peeking through the open door.

She punched his shoulder. "Shush. They'll hear us."

They sat on the floor, leaning against her bed. It gave him dangerous thoughts, ones that would require a cold shower.

After they had heard Katie say goodbye to her date and the sound of her bedroom door close, Bridget gripped his arm and peered through the small opening. "Coast is clear," she whispered.

Just as they stepped out, Katie walked out of her bedroom. Her jaw dropped as she looked back and forth between them. Then her cheeks lifted in a huge grin. "What are you guys doing?"

Bridget looked at him then to her daughter. "He was just fixing my closet door."

"At three in the morning?" Katie said with a laugh.

Bridget rolled her eyes. "Knock it off. We were trying to give you some privacy, you stinker. Did you have fun?"

"I did. I'll tell you all about it when I wake up tomorrow afternoon. I'm too tired tonight. When you're done saying goodnight, will you come help me with my dress?"

"Of course. I'll be right there."

She walked him to the door and smiled. "I had fun tonight."

He leaned in to kiss her forehead. It seemed like the natural thing to do, but he pulled back and gave her a hug instead. "Me too. I'll see you later."
Chapter Forty

# August 9:00 PM

## Billy

"Before I start, can I ask a question?" He had several, but he'd begin with the most pressing.

"You realize that asking me if you can ask a question, is a question, right?"

"Bridget..." She was already making it difficult.

_How am I going to make it through this?_

"Sorry." She held her head high and her shoulders back. "Yes. Even though I dislike it when you start our conversations with a question." She gave the appearance of confidence, but in his peripheral vision, he noticed her fingers grip the back of the couch until her knuckles were white.

He chuckled at her reaction but didn't let it deter him. "Why didn't you ever get married?" He held up a hand before she could answer. "I can understand why you didn't marry Preston. You were still pretty young, but why not Jared? You guys were crazy for each other, and he loved Katie."

After an uncomfortable wait she finally said, "I don't know..." She averted her eyes, staring at something behind him.

"I think you do." He wanted to beg her to open up to him and let out her secrets. He had a feeling that what she had shared with him today was just the tip of the iceberg. She wasn't necessarily secretive, but guarded.

She just shook her head. "First tell me why you didn't."

He was afraid of this. She had made dodging questions a professional sport. He couldn't understand why she wouldn't just answer his question. "We're not talking about me."

"Maybe we should. I remember overhearing you tell Diane that you wanted to get married and have a family." He tilted his head back and sighed.

_Fine._

If she wasn't going to answer, he would.

"I do." Which was true. He'd wanted it since Katie came into the world.

"You had chances..." She exuded hurt and sadness through her eyes. She closed them for a moment before she went on. "You loved Freja. Even though you two kept breaking up, it didn't take long before you were back together. She wanted marriage and family."

_Freja._

If there was one person who he had gotten close to committing to, it was Freja. They had passion, friendship, love, respect, and wanted the same things in life. They should have been the perfect couple. But the moment he saw Bridget as a woman and not the young girl who needed help, he could no longer imagine Freja as his wife or mother of his children.

"I did love Freja. She was a wonderful woman, but I didn't love her enough to marry her."

"What about the others?" Talking about his former lovers was painful. They were all poor substitutes for her. He didn't appreciate being reminded of how much he hurt them by being with them when he was in love with someone else.

"Same answer, different woman. Why don't you ask what you really want to know? I can see it in your eyes." He didn't mean to be gruff, but she wasn't answering his question.

She released her death grip on the couch but was still wound up. "Billy, did you not get married because of Katie and me?"

Surprised by her question, he wondered why she thought that.

"I leaned on you from the moment we met. I don't want to think what would've happened to us if you hadn't been there."

He shuddered at the thought. There was no way he'd let his imagination go there. She might've found someone to help her, but then where would she be? For that matter, where would he be? She believed he saved her, but she and Katie did the saving. He experienced true happiness and love he hadn't known existed.

He believed he would've had a good life. Most likely married Freja and had a family and been happily content, but...then he wouldn't have his girls.

No.

Life without them was unthinkable.

She sat in front of him, expectantly waiting for him to answer, but he wasn't sure if he could. Yes, she and Katie were the reason he never married, but not in the way she thinks.

With a tremor in her voice, she called out to him. "Billy..."

He swiped his thumb under her eyes, wiping away tears that clung to her lower lashes. "Why are you crying?" he whispered.

"I'm afraid of what you'll say."

He let out a pained laugh. Nothing about the situation was funny, but he had no idea how to react or what to do. Talking to her suddenly felt like a bad idea. He shouldn't mess with what they have. "Let's talk about something else."

"What? No! Please talk to me. You're my best friend. You can tell me the truth."

He held her face in his hands and looked into her eyes. "I'm not sure you're going to want to know."

"Why? Oh, God. We held you back from a life you wanted." A sob broke free, and all he wanted to do was pull her into his arms. "I'm so sorry, Billy. All I ever wanted for you was to be happy. If that means selling the diner and moving on, I'll understand."

"Bridget..."

Scooting closer to him, she pulled his hands off her face and held onto them. "I love you, Billy, but if you need me to leave, I will. You're not responsible for Katie and me."

It pained him to see her cry. What he was going to say may hurt her. Hurt them. He closed his eyes for a moment trying to organize his thoughts.

"Everything I did for you and Katie was because I wanted to. I love you both so much. You are so entwined in my life that I don't have one without you." The sadness didn't leave her eyes, if anything, she looked more anguished. He placed a hand on her cheek. "Hey, I like it that way." She didn't look convinced. The only way she'd believe him was to spell it out for her. "Bridget." He lifted her head with his finger until her eyes reached his. "I love you. I'm in love with you."

She sucked in a breath and shook her head. "Do you love me because of me or because you want to be Katie's dad?"

Exasperated by her ridiculous question, he released a groan. "How can you ask that?"

"You've always showed love for her. Even I'm jealous of your relationship with each other. It's wonderful, and I'd never want to change that but..."

"Bridget, I want you to listen closely and not say another word until I'm finished talking. I don't know if I'll be able to get it all out otherwise."

She placed her clammy hands in his and said, "Okay."

"Bridget, I love you. I fell in love with you. Katie is a bonus. My love for Katie is stronger because of my love for you. The first night I met you, I could see how strong you were, how you'd do anything for that little baby inside you. You changed my life that day.

"You have no idea how much you mean to me. I love everything about you." Tears streamed down her cheeks, spilling onto her neck and chest. Little wet spots appeared on her dress, but she never pulled her hands away.

"I love that you make breakfast in your cute sleep shorts and tank top and try to sneak extra bacon when you think Katie and I aren't looking. I love how you clap your hands and tilt your head back when you laugh really hard. I love how you get cuddly after just one alcoholic drink."

With the last sentence, his voice was drowned out by her sobs. She let go of his hand to wipe away her tears. He handed her a tissue but didn't stop talking. He had too much to say.

"I loved you from the moment I saw you bring Katie into this world." She stiffened again, but he didn't let her interrupt him. "Loving Katie has been a privilege, but it was my way of loving you. When we met, you were so young, and I'm sure you thought I only thought of you as a child. But I saw the most courageous person I've ever met. You never once questioned whether you'd be there for Katie. It must've been hard, but watching you, gave me strength. I was directionless until you came into my life, and you showed me what I'd been searching for. Home. You are my home, Bridget."

He took another deep breath. Once he started, he couldn't stop. His heart was open, and it was too late to turn back.

"It took a few years, but I fell in love with you, not because of Katie, but because of you. You're amazing, beautiful inside and out, and a wonderful mother. My day doesn't start until I see your gorgeous smile. Every image of my future has you in it by my side. I want to kiss you, hold you, and make love to you. I want you living in this house with me. I want to turn one of the bedrooms into a nursery, and I want Katie to come here to visit. I want to support you as you achieve your dreams. I want to take care of you, and I want you to take care of me. Be my partner in life. You. You are who I love. Only you, Bridget. It's always been you."

Taking a ragged breath, he shook his head in disbelief. He said it. Relief and a warm sense of peace washed over him until he realized she still hadn't said anything. She kept blinking her eyes and wiping her nose, but not a word had been uttered.

He cleared his throat. "You asked for it," he said with a forced smile.
Chapter Forty-One

# May 2014

## Bridget

"Stop it," Billy growled. "I told you it would be boring and to bring something to do until they start calling names."

She leaned back in her seat, chuckling to herself. He had warned her, but she didn't remember her graduation ceremony lasting this long.

She slid her hand underneath his arm and pointed a finger and said, "Four across is diamondback."

In a huff, he shoved the puzzle book into her hands, placed his arm across the back of her seat and leaned into her. "Let's see how you like it." She muffled a laugh with her hand.

"I can't take you anywhere," he said with a smile.

As she worked the puzzle, he relaxed next to her and lazily ran his fingers up and down her arm, whispering answers in her ear. Diane and Chuck sat on the other side of her, both hiding their yawns behind their fists.

Diane leaned in. "It seems like it was only yesterday that you were up there getting your diploma."

Bridget smiled at the memory. She and Katie wouldn't be here now if it weren't for the people who were with them today.

Once the students rose to get in line to receive their diplomas, Billy took the book and stuffed it into the pocket of his suit.

Her leg bounced with nervous energy. It had started that morning when thinking about Katie and how things were going to change.

Every step Katie took closer to the stage, the worse it got. She looked around at the audience and saw the faces of happy parents and loved ones. As much as she didn't want to think about it, Katie was missing someone important in her life. She tried to push the thought out of her head. She reminded herself that he replaced them, but the niggling in the back of her mind told her that it wasn't true.

Once Katie's name was called, all four of them stood up and cheered, Billy being the loudest.

Bridget hopped up and down, trying to see her daughter in the sea of green graduation gowns. The moment Bridget saw Katie, they ran into each other's arms. "I'm so proud of you." She kissed Katie's smiling cheek.

"Thanks, Mom." Katie let go of her to hug Billy, Diane, and Chuck.

After taking tons of pictures with Katie and her friends, they had an early dinner to celebrate. Katie ditched them right afterward to party with her friends. Diane and Chuck weren't too far behind, leaving her and Billy alone.

He walked her to her door and waited for her to unlock it. "Ice cream sundaes and a movie?" he asked.

She gave him a smile and a hug. "Actually, there's something I need to do. Rain check?"

"Of course. Tomorrow. All three of us?"

"It's a date." She smiled and whispered, "Goodnight."

Once alone, she went to her bedroom and rummaged through her underwear drawer for the envelope she had hidden. She opened it and pulled out the card. On the back, it read, "Please call," with several numbers listed.

Her fingers shook as she entered the first number. It had taken almost two minutes before she pressed dial.

Her heartbeat quickened every moment she waited. Then finally, "Hello?"

She took a deep breath and said, "Phillip? It's Bridget."
Chapter Forty-Two

# August 10:00 PM

## Bridget

Breathless and stunned silent would be the only way to describe her.

She tried to blink the tears away, but they kept coming. She stared into his eyes as she soaked in every single wonderful word he said to her. She never imagined someone would love her the way he did. His words were a dream come true. Her heart beat wildly in her chest.

_He loves me as much as I love him._

Her eyes focused on her hands. Her brain had yet to fully grasp what transpired between them. She shook her head in disbelief. He loved her? How did she not know? Then it hit her. Regret flowed from her head to her toes. They could have had been together all these years if she'd said something sooner. They would've been married and been a family. Katie would've had a dad.

She leaned forward and covered her face with her hands. "Oh. My. God."

So many wasted years. However much time they had together now would never be enough.

She had heard him before she saw him stand and pace the floor. She expected him to be smiling, instead he looked as if he was going to be sick. He stopped in front of her for a moment and looked at her expectantly, but she didn't know why. He didn't say a word, just stared.

It finally hit her, she hadn't responded to him. He obviously mistook her reaction for something else. She reached for him, but he cut her off.

"I'll take you home." He picked up her shoes and handed them to her.

Before he could turn away, she took hold of his hand and forced him to face her. But he wouldn't look at her, his eyes focused on their hands.

"I must be a mess," she said as she wiped the tears and snot from her face.

His eyes met hers. "You're the most beautiful mess I've ever seen."

She laughed, blowing snot out of her nose at the same time.

_Lovely._

He was going to have to love her with a snotty nose and raccoon eyes.

She pushed him onto the couch. He went willingly, but the smile he wore only minutes ago had been replaced with a frown and a deep crevice between his eyes. He leaned his head back and covered his face with his hands. "I ruined everything, didn't I?"

She took a deep breath and did what she dreamed of doing for years. She placed one knee on one side and straddled his lap.

That got his attention.

His hands grasped her hips. "What are you doing?"

With a smile on her face, she leaned into him and kissed him. It started out sweet and tender but soon turned passionate, almost frantic. She breathed him in as she tried to get closer. He let go of her hips to push her dress up, sliding his hands up her thighs until he reached her butt. His touch left a warm trail that ignited something deep inside her. Moving the fabric out of the way allowed her to move closer.

She waited years to taste his lips and mouth and wondered what they'd feel like against hers. Every bit of love, affection, desire she had for him was in that kiss.

The kiss gradually changed once again to a slow, languid exploration until they were breathless. A hand slid up her back until it reached her neck. He slowly lifted her and laid her on the couch, easing himself between her thighs. He raised himself on his forearms, allowing them to catch their breath.

Everything in her body told her not to stop, but she needed to say something. "Please, never regret what you said. I want all of that with you! All of it! Marriage, kids, everything. I'm so in love with you." She smiled. "I'm going to marry you, Billy Hall."

He leaned his forehead against hers. "I love you, I love you, I love you. Now, for the love of all that's holy, kiss me again!"

They spent hours kissing, touching, and even talking. They shared everything their hearts had been holding in. When they came back up for air, her dress was untied and open along with his shirt.

"Bridget, I need to make love to you."

Her lips and tongue made a trail from his mouth to his chest, where she kissed his SWEETS tattoo. "I can't tell you how badly I want you."

A rough laugh escaped his lips. "You? I'm not going to pressure you. If you need more—" She pressed a finger to his lips to shush him.

"Billy? I've had eighteen years to work up to this. That's long enough."

"Oh thank God." His lips were back on hers, making the same trail she left on him, but his didn't end where hers had.

He lifted her up until she stood on shaky legs. She was relieved to see him just as unsteady. Their hands reached for each other as they walked to his bedroom. When they reached his door, he blocked it and looked into her eyes.

"Stay."

No words could escape her lips, not when there was so much emotion lodged in the back of her throat.

"Stay forever."

# Epilogue

## November 29,2014

Billy sat at the end of the couch with Bridget cuddled next to him. His reading glasses perched on the end of his nose, Billy held the new book he purchased in one hand while his other hand caressed Bridget's stomach. She was a long way from showing according to his book, but his hand was a magnet to the spot where his child was growing.

"Did you know that at seven weeks our little guy is a size of a chickpea?"

Bridget lifted herself up and stared at him and then at the book. She must not have noticed the book until that moment. "Oh no! Not again," she groaned.

"What?" His innocent tone conflicted with his cheesy grin. He had a pretty good idea of who threw the last 'Pregnancy Bible' into the garbage eighteen years ago. He found it while taking out the diner trash. Whoever did it—Bridget—covered it in scraps of food, making it impossible to salvage.

Getting pregnant so soon was a surprise. A pleasant surprise. Bridget had wanted to wait until after they were married, so when they found out that they were expecting last week, she had a minor freak out. As happy as they were, old abandonment fears crept up for Bridget. Every moment since she held the positive pregnancy test in her hand, Billy found a way to show her he would always be there.

"I swear..." she began and trailed off, leaving the threat unspoken.

Billy pulled off his glasses and stared at his beautiful bride. "Please, Bridget. I missed the early days of your pregnancy with Katie. I just want to participate in this as much as I can."

Bridget's frustrated glare melted into understanding. She leaned into Billy and gave him the sweetest kiss. "I love you, my husband."

"I love you, my wife," he said between kisses. They had been married for two and a half wonderful days.

Billy and Bridget waited for Katie's Thanksgiving break to get married. Delaying fourteen weeks was a slow torture. Even after Billy instigated Bridget's move into his house—their house—the day after Katie left home, nothing settled him like the words "I do." She was his now. And he was hers.

"I notice that you keep calling the baby 'little guy'? What if she's a girl?"

"He's a boy. I can feel it."

Bridget stared at him with one lifted brow. "We'll see," she said before settling back into her spot.

He winked at his gorgeous bride, who smiled back. When she relaxed again, his hand went back to its holding place.

Billy couldn't believe this was his life. Being married to Bridget, the baby, and Katie calling him dad was more than he thought he'd ever have. But he cherished every moment of it, soaked it in and gave thanks daily.

THE END

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# Acknowledgments

**Love Machine**. Thank you for encouraging me to do this writing thing. You're the best husband I've ever had. I love you and so grateful that you're my man.

**My kidlets.** Maddog, Spotted Eyes, Bunny Girl and Bub, thank you for sharing me with the characters in my head. I love you x's Chuck Norris.

**Cathe**. Thank you for being my favorite sister and therapist. You know exactly what to say when I'm ready to throw myself off the cliff. Love you!

**Beth.** I wouldn't be the woman I am today without your love and influence. Thank you for always being there for me even when I never physically see you. I love you!

**Carrie.** Thanks for being my bestie and...everything. Just everything. I wouldn't have gotten to the point of publishing if it wasn't for you. Thank you for the late night texts ;-) Thanks for talking about my characters like they're real people because they totally are. Thanks for the cover and synopsis and, and, and... Seriously, I feel bad for anyone who doesn't have a Carrie. I love your guts!

**Liz Aguilar**. Thank you for asking the good questions, letting me bounce ideas off of you, and for your sense of humor.

**Nichole Strauss**. Thank you for keeping me on my toes. You've taught me so much.

# About the Author

When I'm not writing, I'm wrangling other people's children, riding on the back of my husband's motorcycle or hanging out with my four kids. I love my family, reading, writing, napping and sunshine. Not always in that order.

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# Books In Series

**Until Here-Until novella Book 2**

**After getting their hearts broken, will this couple give love a second chance.**

After a failed marriage Melanie Campbell quit a career she loved, friends she shared with her husband and her social life. She spent three years burying herself in her job avoiding living her life until one evening her boss told her to take a month off or she's fired.

Ready to find love again, Preston Reed was going home after spending the past two years working through the pain of a broken heart.

What started as a chance meeting at a hotel bar began to feel like fate. Their connection was instant and nothing either expected.

But with only thirty days will Melanie leave with another broken heart or will Preston convince her to stay?

* * *

**Until Us- Until series book 3**

**In one day, her life changes forever. He will always be the man she can lean on. Will these friends find true love in each other?**

* * *

In the last year, Katie Larson's life changed dramatically. She left home for college, met the father she had never known and fell in love with Mr. Wonderful.

What she didn't know was that the hardest year of her life was just ahead. After terrible accident she's forced to discover the inner strength she didn't know she had and will find out Mr. Wonderful wasn't Mr. Right.

Tyler Marshall had a close loving family, good friends and a job he loved. As much as he wanted to find love, he was content with his life. That was until she needed him.

Will Katie let go of what she lost and give her heart to the man that would love nothing more than to make them an us?

* * *

**Until You- Until series novella book 2.5**

**He assumes the beautiful blonde is just like his ex. She's tired of being judged for the way she looks. Will they ever be able to move past their first impressions to find love in each other?**

Jason, a single dad, spent his days running his coffee shop and doing his best to dislike a beautiful blonde he couldn't seem to avoid.

But at night, once his son was asleep, he became Belakor, an online gamer. His only concern was keeping up with his strongest competition, his friend Nysterie.

Alexis spent her days attending college, modeling to pay for it and avoiding the grumpy coffee shop owner. It would've helped if she hadn't found him so attractive.

At night, once she finished her homework, she became Nysterie in an online game. A place where it mattered less what you looked like and more how quickly you could take down a boss.

What happens when the lines between real life and the fantasy world aren't as clear as they thought? Will they let go of old hurts to finally see each other for who they are?

# Until Here

## Preview

**Prologue**

**Preston**

* * *

Kneeling down on bended knee, Preston gazed into tear-filled eyes. The weight of the ring in his hand grew heavier as the woman he loved shook her head no. The hope he held in his chest began to splinter as the realization hit him. _The tears she was shedding were not happy tears._

He swallowed the lump in his throat hoping — praying this was all a misunderstanding. He and Bridget had been dating for two years. When she said no to moving in together last year, he agreed it might have been too soon but now...getting married felt like the right thing to do. They couldn't date forever and Bridget's daughter, Katie, deserved to have a father. He hadn't realized how much he wanted a wife or to be a father until Bridget and Katie came into his life. Now it was all he thought about.

Seeing the pain in her eyes cut him as deeply as her rejection. When a sob escaped her lips, he stood. "Bridget? What's wrong?" he asked as he cradled her face in his hands.

She blinked back tears but they were coming so quickly they had left dark streaks down her cheeks. "I can't. I'm sorry." She pushed past him rushing down the hall picking up the trail of clothes they had dropped on their way to his bedroom earlier in the evening.

His mind raced to catch up as he followed her. Not an hour ago they were saying 'I love you' and now she was scrambling to get dressed as if the ring in his hand was a bomb that was about to detonate.

He wanted to hold her still until she explained why she wouldn't marry him. "What are you doing?" he asked. Just as she slipped into her skirt, he pulled her to him. "Please talk to me," he begged. His eyes stung and his heart raced. "What's going on? I'm confused."

She scrambled away from him. "I can't do this." Her hand shook as she pointed back and forth between them. He was desperate to keep her from leaving until they worked this out. She wouldn't — couldn't just end it like this.

Needing to calm her down, he forced a smile and softened his voice. "Of course, you can. We've been doing this for two years." From the very beginning, he knew he had an uphill battle. It took months to get her to go on one date with him and another few months before she invited him over to spend time with her and Katie. It had taken even longer before she would show outward affection when they weren't alone. From the very beginning she resisted every step of their relationship and just like every other step, he would be patient and wait for her to be ready.

She didn't break a smile. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her. At that moment, he needed to hold her to keep her from leaving and taking his dream of a family with her. "Bridget, talk to me. You're scaring me."

Lifting off his lap, he not only felt the physical distance but the emotional distance between them increase feeding his already growing worry. This couldn't be the end. He reached for her hand, but she moved out of reach. "I can't move in and I can't marry you."

He stared at her hoping she would give him something that would make sense of this mess. How could one of the best nights of his life turn into the worst? "Then what have we been doing for the past two years?" he asked feeling increasingly frustrated. _This was the next step. He wasn't moving too fast. She was just scared but he would show her that they were ready for this._

"Dating. Getting to know one another." The way she avoided looking into his eyes, he realized she was lying. Maybe even to herself. There was no way she didn't see this coming.

"We've done that. Did I give you the impression I was interested in dating forever? I told you early on that I want it all. Marriage, family — all of it." _Why was she with me if she didn't want this too?_

"I know you did, and I wanted it too," she stated.

_If she wanted it..._ "You don't anymore?" His eyebrows turned in and he shook his head trying to grasp what she said.

"I do," she said softly.

He let out a deep breath. She was just scared, he reasoned, but as they stared at one another realization dawned on him. "But not with me," he muttered under his breath.

She shook her head no.

That was when it dawned on him. It was Billy she wanted to marry. He thought about the way she looked at her boss, Billy. They had a Sunday morning ritual of coffee and donuts that Preston was never invited to. He thought about the number of times they would stop talking when he entered the room and how she seemed to always gravitate toward him whenever he was around. "Because you want it with Billy." He knew her and Billy loved each other as friends, at least, that's what she said when he questioned her about their relationship. She assured him there weren't romantic feelings between them. He had believed her.

"It's me. I love you, but I'm not ready to get married." The way she avoided looking him in the eye, he knew she was lying again. _Would she have said yes if it was Billy asking?_ "I'm sorry," she whispered.

He followed her to the front door and tried to concentrate on just breathing.

_In._

_Out._

_In._

_Out._

The pressure on his chest was almost unbearable. He couldn't let her leave. Not like this. Not after two years of chasing her.

Before she could step outside, he reached for her and pulled her into his arms. "Please say yes," he pleaded one last time. Without saying a word, she kissed his cheek and pulled away. He gripped the doorframe to brace himself.

_How could she do this? How could she leave when she told me she loved me?_

When he could no longer see her taillights, he closed the door and drew in a deep breath. He went to the spare bedroom and stared into the room that represented everything he wanted. As he placed the ring on the dresser, he pleaded with God to make her change her mind and then closed the door on the life he had imagined with Bridget.

**Chapter One**

**May 2nd**

**Preston**

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Preston plopped down on the edge of the hotel bed with a tired sigh. After missing his flight, he decided to get a room near the airport instead of going back to his dad's condo where he had been living for the past several months. Lying back, he slipped off his shoes. Lost in thought, he stared at the blank ceiling.

He was ready. In fact, he was more than ready to go home and face his life.

After he and Bridget had broken up, he put all his energy into work. He reasoned he needed to prove to his dad and uncle that he was deserving of the title of partner. But, in truth, he was running away. He spent all of his time living and breathing contracts. Each day he worked late into the night until he could barely keep his eyes open and only had enough energy to fall into bed or on occasion onto the couch in his office.

A few months after his breakup he had called his uncle in Illinois to discuss transferring out of Arizona. He already had his law license in both states and would be able to start working right away. His uncle happily agreed and wished him luck in telling his father.

After a lengthy discussion over drinks, his father agreed it would be a good idea but made it clear it would only be temporary. Since then, Preston had been back to his hometown of Flagstaff only ten days out of the past fifteen months.

He thought back to those months and even though his parents weren't happy having him so far away, he needed that time to recover and get his head on straight. It worked. His head was clear and his focus sharp on what he wanted from his life.

He no longer held on to the dream of marrying Bridget and being the father to her daughter. In fact, he recognized he had been more in love with the idea of them than he was in them as a couple. He was able to see his and Bridget's relationship in a whole new light and realized he not only wanted — but he deserved — so much more than what she had been able to give him.

He was no longer willing to drag someone through a relationship. He wanted a partner, someone who would take those steps forward with him. He wanted someone to openly love him as deeply and richly as he loved her. To achieve his dream of a wife and kids, he needed to go home and create a life outside of his job.

Sitting up, he picked up his phone and called his father. "Dad?"

"Hey, how did everything go today?" his father asked, assuming he wanted to discuss work.

"Great. They are set to begin building in two weeks."

"Perfect timing. The Marshall/Hammond group..."

Before his father could finish his sentence, he said, "Dad, I'm ready to come home." He had already informed his uncle that once he finished his latest contract, he was transferring back to Arizona but he had wanted to surprise his parents. It was the reason he had planned to leave tonight, but his meeting went over and he missed his flight by only minutes.

He could hear the sigh of relief on the other end of the phone. Choked up, his father managed to say, "I'm glad to hear it, son...I'm glad to hear it."

Tears welled up in his eyes. "Yeah." He nodded his head releasing a deep breath.

A calming silence hung between them.

_It was time._

His father cleared his throat. "Well, your mother will be pleased. She's missed you."

Preston grinned knowing his father was the big softy of the two. "I miss her, too," he said. "I have an early morning flight out of here so I should be home in the afternoon."

"Dinner at our house," his dad insisted.

"Can't wait."

A knock sounded on his hotel door and two male voices echoed in the hall. He had a pretty good idea who it was and tried not to groan. "Hey, Dad, I have to go. But I'll see you tomorrow."

"I love you, son."

"Love you too, Dad."

Releasing a heavy sigh, he hung up the phone and went to the door to look out the peephole. He was tempted to not answer but against his better judgment he opened the door to Seth and Gary, the brothers who had hired him to write up purchasing and zoning contracts for their new property.

Before he could say hello they walked in as if they owned the place. "We're getting dinner then hitting a few clubs for your last night here. Get dressed." Seth demanded as he sat on the bed, flipped on the TV and turned it to some sports channel.

There went his quiet night of room service and a movie. Then it hit him that most of his nights had been quiet and included take-out. "It really is time to go home," he mumbled to himself.

Gary nudged him. "You heard him and we're taking you to some upscale places so you have to wear a suit."

_Multiple places?_

He held back a groan. The last thing he wanted to do was get back into a suit and hang out in a crowded club, but when Gary leaned against the door with his arms folded and brow lifted, he relented.

_Suck it up, Preston. It won't kill you to be social._

A half hour later, he stood in the bathroom freshly showered and dressed trying to come up with an excuse to bail out early. For the past several weeks he had used work as an excuse to decline their invitations, what he wouldn't give for a work emergency. It wasn't that they weren't good guys, they were, but Seth and Gary had a lot of money to blow and they liked to party. It just wasn't his thing. He preferred a quiet atmosphere and good conversation.

He pasted on a smile and reminded himself that it was his last night in Chicago. He might as well try to enjoy it.

# Until Us

## Preview

**Prologue**

**August 2014**

**Katie**

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Katie yawned into the back of her hand and leaned back on the bench seat between her new roommate Alexis and her roommate's older brother Eric. The only sound came from Eric's old pickup rumbling as it shook its way over the empty Portland streets.

Today had been the longest day of her life, and yet, when she looked over at Eric, she wasn't sure if she were ready for it to end.

"If you're tired, you can lean against my shoulder," he offered, quickly glancing at her with a small smile. She returned it with a blush as the butterflies in her stomach took flight.

They were returning home after having a late night dinner with his and Alexis's friends. The party started out as a welcome for Katie, which turned into an intimate evening between her and Eric. They'd sat at one end of a long table, unintentionally ignoring everyone else, while they spent hours getting to know one another.

From the moment she met him there was a connection. He was good-looking for sure, in a sexy lumberjack sort of way, but it was more than that. He had a friendly smile and an easy laugh. He chuckled along with his friends when they teased him about his scruffy beard and hermit lifestyle. He was unapologetic about who he was, and nothing was sexier than that.

She was tempted to accept the offer of his shoulder, and not just because her eyes were growing heavy. She wanted nothing more than to be close to him, but the little voice inside her head was loud. _You just met him, and he'll only be here a few weeks._

Instead of scooting closer, she leaned her head against the back window and closed her eyes.

When she first met the brother and sister, Alexis had mentioned Eric was just visiting, and Katie hadn't thought much of it until a few hours later. It had been nearing midnight when they shared a plate of waffles, and she listened to him talk about his job as a biologist in Alaska. His face lit up, and he spoke with his whole body.

Disappointment lodged in the pit of her stomach when she realized nothing could come from whatever was happening between them. But she also wasn't about to let it stop her from spending as much time with him as she could before he returned to his life.

Her eyes grew heavy and her head lolled to the side until she felt a hard surface. The smell of old vinyl and engine oil along with the vibrations of the old pickup reminded her of long drives with _her_ Billy. Wondering when she would get a chance to do that again her chest tightened.

The past twenty-four hours had passed in a haze of goodbyes, hugs, tears, airplanes, cabs, and hellos. It was hard to believe it was just last night she was partying with her girlfriends excited about her future and now... It wasn't until the cab driver dropped her off in front of her new home in Portland, Oregon that the tears came back around. She hadn't thought about how much she would miss everyone.

Standing on the curb looking up at the condo Katie would share with her new roommate, she realized the small apartment she had shared with her mother in Flagstaff, Arizona would only be a place she would visit.

Raised by her single mother, Bridget, Katie had never known her father. But they made a family with Billy, the diner owner who'd taken her mother in when Bridget was a pregnant teenager with no place to go and helped her raise Katie.

Chuck and Diane worked in the diner and rounded out their family. She thought the overwhelming homesickness would swallow her whole, but after only a few minutes with Alexis and Eric, the sadness eased and she knew everything would be okay.

Katie drew in a deep, ragged breath as she felt the wave of sadness hit her again.

A large warm hand landed on her knee and squeezed. She sighed and smiled as the warm tingle from his touch spread through her whole body. Suddenly she realized the hard surface she was leaning against was Eric's shoulder. Shocked awake, she lifted her head and rubbed her tired eyes.

His brows pulled in when he glanced at her before turning back to the road and asking in a quiet voice, "You okay?"

Verifying Alexis was still asleep against the passenger door before answering, she whispered, "Yeah." But Katie really wasn't. She missed her mom and Billy, even though she'd talked to her mother after arriving, but nothing compared to them lying on her bed at the end of the day talking about anything and everything.

He rubbed his hand up and down her thigh until he had to move his hand back to the gearshift between her thighs. It was the negative part of riding center in an old pickup and yet...the positive. His touch did nothing to ease her rambling thoughts; he just added to them.

Katie pulled out her phone to check the time. It felt like only minutes instead of hours since she said goodbye to her mother at the airport.

Eric made a right-hand turn that seemed slightly exaggerated. She slid on the vinyl seat until her body pressed against his. He smiled and his deep chuckle caused a warm blush to cover her cheeks. Again. She was pretty sure he did it on purpose. Instead of moving back to her spot, her bare leg remained against his denim thigh. His touch, along with his kind smile, made her belly do funny things.

When he parked in front of hers and Alexis's condo, he leaned past her and nudged Alexis awake. It took Alexis a moment to realize they had stopped and another few seconds to realize that neither Katie nor Eric, were exiting the truck.

Alexis gave them a knowing smile. "I'll see you in the morning, Katie." She jumped out of the pickup and slammed the door before running up the stairs to the condo.

Eric and Katie sat in silence, neither moving. The air between them grew thick with nervous energy. With the engine no longer running, the silence became awkward, and she began to wonder if Eric was waiting for her to let herself out.

With a voice so low she could barely hear, he said, "I'm not ready to say goodnight." She didn't bother hiding her grin.

To her disappointment, he opened his door and held out a hand to help her jump down. Neither of them let go. Instead, his hand tightened around hers.

Katie's cheeks began to hurt from smiling so big. When she lifted her eyes to look at him, she noticed he had the same sexy grin he had been giving her all evening. When she first met him, she had thought it to be a little cocky but soon found out that his smile was as genuine as him. She followed Eric up the stairs, still holding his hand and when they reached her door, he faced her. "It was nice meeting you, Katie Larson." She wanted to melt when his smile widened. It was going to be her Kryptonite. Mix it with the way he made her feel like the only person in the room and she was a goner.

"I'm really happy to meet you too, Eric McHenry."

They stood facing each other smiling. Just smiling. If she were thinking straight, she might have been embarrassed. "So, what time do you want me to pick you up tomorrow?" he asked. She had almost forgotten he volunteered to take her to pick up her new car, a gift from Billy.

"Uh. Well, I'm at your mercy, so whatever time works for you, just as long as it's after coffee and a maple bar," she said in all seriousness.

The idea of spending more time with him made her heart race with anticipation, but at the same time, it made her anxious. She wasn't supposed to fall for a guy her first night here. Starting her new life was supposed to include dating lots of men without her mother or Billy keeping a watchful eye. Already, she knew that wasn't going to happen.

"Good to know. Then I guess I'll be bringing coffee and maple bars tomorrow morning."

Katie slid her key into the lock. "Sounds perfect." She reluctantly let go of his hand and opened the door. "I'll see you tomorrow...or later today." A nervous giggle followed her awkward good-bye.

He stood staring at her as if he wanted to say something, but instead he nodded his head. "Good night, Katie."

"Good night," she whispered. Her smile fell in disappointment. She stepped inside, closing and locking the door. While slipping off her shoes, she couldn't help wish their goodnight went a little differently. For a moment, she thought for sure Eric would make a move, but then...nothing.

"Ugh. You're going to see him in a few hours," she mumbled. Katie was halfway down the hall, near her bedroom, when she heard a key in the lock. She turned around, wondering who else had a key to their place. When the door opened, all the oxygen left her lungs. It was Eric. He wasn't smiling. When she walked toward him to see if he was okay, he met her halfway.

"I...uh...just wanted to...umm. I just wanted to do one thing." His voice wavered slightly, and his smiled looked strained. She hoped it was the one thing she wanted him to do. He took another step closer, circled his arms around her, leaned down, and barely grazed her lips with his.

The tingle that spread through from his small kiss made her want more. His grip tightened around her, and she slid her hands up his chest and around his neck. Their lips met again, but not in a barely-there graze. It was full-on, I want you so bad, and if I don't taste you right now, I might die kind of kiss. The type of kiss that left her wonderfully blissful, breathless, and needing more.

He moved his hands from her waist to her hair and pushed her against the wall in one heated movement. Her body came to life as she became aware of his every touch and the way his lips softened against hers as they leaned into each other. The moment their tongues met, Eric moaned into her mouth, causing her heart to race. She met his tongue movement for movement until they heard a cough and an "excuse me."

Alexis's voice was like ice-cold water being dumped on her head. Katie placed her hands between her and Eric and pushed him away. She watched as his chest rose and fell as he tried to catch his breath. She wiped the evidence of their kiss off her mouth before turning to face Alexis.

"Sorry. I just needed to get some water. You can go back to what you were doing once I'm safely back in my room with headphones on," Alexis teased.

Eric's low chuckle turned into a loud laugh when his eyes met Katie's. There was no way to hide her blush or her mortification of being caught mauling her new roommates brother. "So, I'll see you in a few hours, Katie," he said while still chuckling. She covered her face with her hands, wishing to hide from him and his stupid, beautiful, deliciously, wonderful smile.

"Yup," she mumbled into her hands, then rushed to her bedroom and closed the door before having to face Alexis again. She heard muffled goodnights right before the front door closed.

Once she heard Alexis walk past her door, Katie released a deep breath and fell on her bed in a lusty heap. She wasn't sure what had gotten into her; it wasn't like her to make out with a guy she just met.

When she closed her eyes, she couldn't help smile, and her stomach did a few flips when she thought about the way he took charge and kissed her. Ravished her senses really.

Her lips felt swollen, and if she looked in the mirror, she was pretty sure she would see a beard burn on her face. _So totally worth it._ She had never been kissed like that, and she couldn't wait until the next time.
