[Channel Teaser]
Why A Dungeon Master Should NEVER Try To Win
DnD
Hi everyone, All Things DnD is back with a
valuable lesson on what not to do as a Dungeon
Master.
It seriously sucks how so many people think
this is how Dungeons and Dragons is supposed
to be played.
It is baffling to no end.
This game is all about teamwork and having
fun, not doing what you  want to do.
Do let us know what you thought of this DM
when you're done listening to how he actually
tried to "win" Dungeons & Dragons... up next:
I’ve been playing and DMing DnD pretty much
my whole life, being raised by a first generation
DM and overall having it be part of my life
since I was a kid.
A lesson I learned as DM is that above all
else, regardless of the content of the game,
to make sure your players are having fun,
as that’s the lifeblood of any campaign.
But as a fellow DM, I do understand that being
in that position can be stressful and sometimes
dissatisfying: the players will take interest
in things you hadn’t intended on or planned
for, or will just steamroll fights you intended
on being challenging, etc.
This particular DM was a former friend of
mine; we stopped being friends for reasons
that will be clear later.
He had offered to run a campaign so that I
could have a turn at being a player, and being
the main DM of our group, I jumped at the
chance.
It’s nice to take a break and be the player
now and then.
Out of respect, I allowed him to do his own
thing as DM, even though I knew he was new
to it, and I only offered to help if he asked.
To start off, this campaign was a Modern D20
campaign with a survival zombie horror setting.
It was October and the mood was right for
such a campaign.
Plus a lot of us were pretty big zombie nerds
at the time, so we were stoked to play survivors
in the zombie apocalypse.
It didn’t take very long however, for the
campaign to get weird and unbalanced.
Session Zero, we went over the DM’s house
and were ready to roll up characters, each
of us having a role in mind.
Modern D20 basically has a class for each
of the six D&D stats, but I’ll give the
equivalent class to what each of us played
in the normal D&D sense.
We had:
a Health Tank/Barbarian the Tough Hero,
a Paramedic/Cleric the Dedicated Hero,
a Fighter the Strong Hero,
and me, the ex cop Ranger as I played the
Fast Hero.
This was a group of experienced players who
all know how to make characters just fine,
but out of courtesy we roll our stats in front
of the DM.
We rolled our stats and all of us were pleased
to get at least some above average rolls,
and allocated our stats accordingly.
Once this was done however, the DM stopped
us.
He took all our papers and started writing
our stats on the side, while erasing what
we put into the initial stat blocks.
We asked what he was doing, but he didn’t
say anything while he did it, just had this
nasty grin on his face.
Afterwards, he handed our sheets back to us
and we saw that he had taken all of our stats
and slashed them in half, rounded down.
He had written our original stats along the
side in the temporary stat column.
Confused and a bit annoyed, I asked, “What’s
the point of this?”
He responded, “I want this game to be challenging.
I want you all to actually struggle to survive.
You will all get your real stats once you
unlock level 1.”
The malicious grin didn’t leave his face.
We were dumbfounded.
“What do you mean ‘once you unlock level
1’?” the Tough Hero player asked.
“I said I wanted this to be a true challenge,
so you all are level 0, and that’s why your
stats are this low.
When I think you all have earned level 1,
I’ll give it to you.
Until then you’ll have to play with what
you have.
Oh, and while I’m at it, you guys will start
with only one item and it has to directly
relate to your character.
Choose wisely.”
That should have been our first warning sign
that this game was about to be less than fun,
but all of us in the group were sporting,
and figured we should give it a chance at
least.
We all wanted to play, so even though we were
about to struggle through even the most basic
of checks, we were still ready to give it
a shot.
I chose a standard police pistol as my one
item, and actually had to fight the DM over
it.
He was not happy with my choice because he
felt it was “Too OP,” even though my character
was a former cop.
Former as in, she was a cop when the outbreak
happened, so why wouldn’t she have her gun?
The rest of the party agreed with me, and
I got to keep my weapon.
But the DM wasn’t fully satisfied, so he
“nerfed” it by making my gun slightly
damaged, saying I had a 1 in 5 chance the
gun would just jam on me.
Fantastic, my item was the only item damaged
with a percentage to fail from the get-go.
After a fair bit of griping and debate with
the DM over the various items in the party
that were chosen, we began our adventure.
He pulled out a map of the local area where
we all lived, and said our characters were
from around here, so we had the home-field
advantage.
All of us agreed this was probably the coolest
aspect of the campaign, being able to look
at our own city as a place for resources and
action.
But even that would be subverted by our DM
eventually.
We began in the DM’s house in-game.
All of us had managed to get there after surviving
the initial breakout and evacuation, and this
was a quiet neighborhood where our party figured
we’d be somewhat safe, if not for a little
bit.
At this point, the DM introduced himself as
an NPC, inserting his real self into the game
as some sort of aloof dude who managed to
retain internet access throughout the chaos
outside and around his house.
Weird, but not unexpected from this guy as
he always was kinda self-important.
His NPC self gave us a map of the area, told
us the best closest place to find food, then
asked us to find somewhere else to go once
we got a lay of the land.
We all agreed not to infringe on his hospitality,
and immediately made our way to the spot with
food.
Nothing in this campaign was easy, from our
lowered stats to just randomly increased difficulty
from the outside world.
We later learned his greatest influences were
the Dark Souls series, Resident Evil, and
Bioshock.
I won’t spoil those games for you, reader,
as this DM spoiled all those games for us,
people who had never played any of those games
before this campaign.
But he heavily borrowed aspects from all of
them, including spoiling the entire plotline
of one of them by just stealing its story
and incorporating it into his own.
And let me be clear, I have nothing against
DMs who borrow material from other places
and sources -- I do that myself, but I never
take or use anything that would be spoilers
for my players.
Especially when I know they’re looking to
play/read/see the content sometime in the
future.
The party made its way to the local grocery
store down the street.
To make a long session short, the whole building
and the strip mall were boarded up almost
completely and were very difficult to get
into without any tools.
We managed to break into the local Autozone
and get a crowbar, which even the Strong Hero
had a hard time using with his slashed stats.
We got into the grocery store, which was just
teeming with zombies.
Most of us got bit, including myself.
We were playing like a-typical DnD where you
just go in and confront the enemy in combat.
I was avoiding using my gun -- as anyone knows,
guns are really loud and I didn’t need all
the zombies within a mile collapsing on us.
At this point, the DM stops the game and tells
us that everyone who was bit is dead.
We all look at him incredulously, and Tough
Hero goes, “Really?
Just like that?
That was quick, even in the zombie shows they
usually last at least a day after getting
bit.”
Our DM proceeds to tell us that we can be
scratched and beaten, but the instant we take
a bite from a zombie, we’re as good as dead.
Even amputation was off the table as it was
way too dangerous to perform without the proper
tools and know-how.
This was horrific news, as the only person
at the table with an AC above 10 was me due
to my highest stat being Dex, even after the
stat slashing.
These zombies were hitting like level 1 challenges,
and their only two attacks were to grab you,
then bite you.
We were screwed.
The DM saw the looks on our faces and with
a sly grin said, “Tell you what, guys, I’ll
erase what just happened and we’ll begin
right before you enter the grocery store.
This time don’t be stupid about how you
handle this.”
From then on out, we did everything we could
to avoid combat.
And if combat was forced upon us, which it
often was to our huge disadvantage, we did
everything we could to get out of it or avoid
direct contact with any zombies.
Miraculously, none of us got bit again throughout
the session.
We played very smart and planned as much as
possible.
I’ll admit using all of our creativity like
that was a lot of fun, and I personally think
it’s what kept us going in the game as it
steadily got more and more difficult with
no reward or increase in level to our characters.
About midway into the game, we came across
a boarded up school.
We decided to check it out because the DM
was very clearly trying to get us to go into
the building.
The windows were blacked out, which was weird,
considering even boarded up windows let in
some light.
It was a trap of course, and a dungeon we
were immediately sealed in.
Somehow things were happening instantaneously,
like we walked into the building and immediately
the doors slammed shut and were boarded up
within the 30 seconds we spent trying to see
inside.
Apparently it was hard to hear movement inside
that place in addition to seeing anything,
because even though we rolled really high,
none of us heard or saw what trapped us in.
Even a natural 20 wasn’t good enough to
get any information at all.
We proceed to check out the building.
This session took place really late at night,
and we were all genuinely spooked because
we had no idea what was going on, but something
was clearly following us.
The DM loved this, he loved how frightened
and nervous he had made us, and did his best
to prolong the experience as long as possible.
He also tried to recreate this atmosphere
a few times after, but failed each time.
Eventually, we figured out that the windows
were covered by a giant flesh-eating plant,
and there was a psycho living in the vents
of the school, and he was trying to feed us
to the plant.
We only broke free from outside help from
the DM.
And only because we were no longer scared
and he was bored with the scenario -- things
he told us outright.
He was both annoyed and disappointed that
our terror faded to tiredness, as we had been
at this session for well over 12 hours by
that point.
All future sessions would carry the same contempt
and frustration that he couldn’t recreate
how terrified we all were in that school session.
And no, we got nothing from that place.
The DM told us that because he had to break
us out with NPCs, that we didn’t deserve
any kind of reward for the ordeal we went
through.
It solidified the tone for the rest of the
campaign.
A month of playing every week, even multiple
sessions a week, and we never hit level 1.
Experience was never awarded, items were never
awarded.
Anything we acquired in-game was hard-won,
and we almost died everytime we gained an
inch.
We fought hard every session and we were all
mentally exhausted after every game.
It was grueling and punishing, and our DM
revelled whenever we got into a tight spot,
but would get angry whenever we turned the
tide and survived.
His anger got increasingly worse as time went
on.
After much struggling and many near-death
encounters, we got to the final dungeon.
We could tell we were nearing the end of the
campaign, because the DM was absolutely gleeful.
He was only happy like that when he was sure
we were about to die.
Also, it just seemed like a final area, and
gave off a real BBEG backdrop vibe all around.
It was a military base set up in the hospital,
with the very real possibility of a helicopter
pick up.
By this point, we had been led to this place
by an army guy stuck in the hospital.
We had gotten ahold of a long-range radio
out of a military bag out in the streets,
and were surprised to talk with a survivor
on the other end.
He told us he was injured at the time his
unit went out to deal with the threat, and
got trapped inside the hospital.
Since he had access to food and water, he
figured he’d just stay put rather than trying
to fight all the zombies below his floor.
He urged us to come to him, because a helicopter
was coming to get him, and he could take us
with him somewhere safe if we could make it
to him.
This deal was too good to pass up, even if
the hospital was the most dangerous place
we had ever gone into.
We could even see from the parking lot: there
were zombies in full riot gear.
Totally a fair encounter for underpowered
characters, right?
But we were pushed in that direction with
little other choice.
I was to be the distraction, as I was the
fastest person with the loudest object, my
gun.
So I did just that: I ran and shot my gun
at the first zombie in SWAT gear, and my bullet
hit but bounced off the gear.
It didn’t actually matter if I really hit
or not; it was just supposed to be a loud
distraction to lure out all the hidden zombies.
I’m just happy I didn’t roll a misfire
due to my gun being funky from the get-go.
Our plan worked really well, and the DM was
getting annoyed that I kept slipping past
all the zombies coming out of the woodwork.
So much so that he increased the difficulty
further by stating I hadn’t been looking
where I was going and I was now trapped in
by zombies at all angles.
“Bullcrap,” I said.
We had planned out a route for me to come
back the way I came, even drawn it on the
map.
But he really wanted me to be trapped and
having to fight these zombies in full SWAT
gear.
So I fought them, and my party joined the
fight to save me.
The Strong Hero rolls extremely well no matter
what he does or what campaign he’s in.
He doesn’t cheat, I know because I’ve
handed him my own dice before, and he still
rolls insanely well.
That being said, his luck sure didn’t change
that session; it was because of him I survived
that parking lot encounter.
We managed to duck inside the hospital and
cut off the entrance so no one could get in
or out.
By this point, the DM was quietly fuming and
we could see his face getting redder the angrier
he got.
Then he suddenly took a deep breath to calm
down, and started to smile a really creepy
smile.
He had the Army dude radio us about what floor
he was on and how to get up to him.
I honestly don’t remember how we made our
way up, but I know we had to fight more than
a few more of those military/police zombies.
On our way up, we found weapons and supplies,
things we hadn’t had this entire game.
We knew for sure this was it then, because
the DM hadn’t given us anything that entire
time, but now we get cool weapons and armor?
That’s just plain odd, especially how he’d
been reacting to anything that would help
us this whole game.
Finally, we make it to the upper level of
the hospital.
We were then tasked with opening the safety
locks of the area to get to the helipad.
Of course, the Army guy couldn’t access
it from where he was at, so we’d have to
find a way to open it.
Once we did, he’d open his area so we could
all go up and get rescued.
Sounds too good to be true?
Yeah, we thought so as well.
We tried to sense the motive of this guy and
figure out if he was telling the truth, but
none of us had a good Wis score and all our
rolls were low.
In-game, our characters believed him and proceeded
as if he was a trustworthy person.
We managed to unlock the doors to the helipad
for him -- and surprise surprise, Army guy
wasn’t on the up and up.
The DM described with absolute glee that the
Army guy duped us and was laughing at us through
the radio, telling us how idiotic we all were
and that he thanks us for the free ride.
He says he’ll give us a last gift though
with a quick death, as he planned on detonating
all the bombs set up through the hospital
from the safety of the helicopter.
Obviously, we were pissed.
But instead of giving up, we persisted and
I’m glad we did.
The Strong Hero and the Tough Hero managed
to break open the barricade separating us
from the upper floor that led to the helipad.
We made our way up as fast as we could.
And the Army guy was up there about to board
the helicopter.
We fought him, and he was basically a level
3 character.
He took almost all of us down, except the
Strong Hero.
The Strong Hero had those godly dice roles;
he beat this insanely strong villain we were
forced to contend with, relative to our “level
zero” status.
He actually won against all the odds, and
we were ecstatic and cheering him.
Except our DM.
Our DM was just stone-faced as we beat his
final obstacle.
He just stared down at the map for about a
minute or two.
Finally, he said, “I just can’t win, can
I?”
He moved his head so that he was facing all
of us, and there was so much hatred and rage
in his face as he glared daggers at Strong
Hero’s player.
“Nothing I did worked.
Every single thing that was supposed to kill
you all, didn’t work.
You managed to escape everything, even my
impossible scenario.
You guys were never going to reach level 1.
I was planning on killing you all the whole
time.
But you managed to beat that too.
So I can’t win here.
Congrats, you’re all level 1 now and the
campaign is over.
I hope you’re happy with yourselves.”
We all looked at each other, and then at him.
I couldn’t restrain myself anymore.
“D&D isn’t about winning and losing, it’s
about having fun with friends.
Being a DM, it’s your responsibility to
ensure the players are having a good time,
not trying to ‘win’ a game that isn’t
designed for that.”
I was almost shouting.
“Where’s my fun then?
This all sucked and I didn’t get to feel
good at all.”
The DM whined.
At this point, I was just done.
He soured the mood of the hard-won victory
and just kinda made it feel like we wasted
our time playing with this dude.
He clearly just wanted to kill us-slash-torture
our characters.
It made me genuinely sad and upset that someone
only wanted to DM to hurt the players and
watch them suffer.
A message to any would-be DMs: don’t try
to win an unwinnable game.
It’s not about that.
It’s never been about that.
D&D is, like I said to that DM, about having
fun with friends, or at the very least making
new friends as you RP together.
If you’re only running a game to try and
punish your players for no real reason, just
don’t.
It’s not fun for anyone involved, including
yourself, I guarantee it.
Preach, brother!
DND is about teamwork and good times.
Don’t be like this DM.
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