

### Bad Taste Tales

By Rod Seeber

Smashwords Edition

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Published By

Rod Seeber on Smashwords

Copyright 2016 by Rod Seeber

Smashwords Edition License Notes This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return it to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author's work.

### The Barbarian

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### Pulp Torrent

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### Swap Option

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### Warts and All

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### Jack Ugly

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### Jack Ugly .. First Intermission

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### Jack Ugly .. Second Intermission

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### Bird Shit

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### Roses are Red

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### Spewing Gum

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### Truth or Dare

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### Cannibal Soup

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### The Barbarian

Choose your battles wisely or your battles will choose you

Edging further forwards with every devastating counterstrike the barbarian warrior sensed a fatal opportunity would soon present its self. His instincts were promptly proved correct as foolishly his next opponent maneuvered in far too close for safety. Allowing for a retaliating vertical strike of the barbarian's sword directly upwards into his foolhardy attackers chin. The powerfully rising blade violently penetrated through the tongue then continued on to tear open the exposed brain with such force that both bloodied eyes instantly popped out of their sockets! Death for defeated was instant as the victorious warrior placed his right foot on his opponent's chest to pull the sword back through the weakened skull to split it half. With sword now released his foe fell to the ground in a tangled pool of mashed up blood, bone and mutilated brain! Aware another deadly encounter was fast approaching from behind, the barbarian swiftly swung around a horizontal sword defensively raised to shoulder height. The resulting impact with the sharpened blade sliced through the unsuspecting attacker's neck with such might that the severed head instantly separated from the lifeless torso!

Slumping downwards the decapitated torso defiantly pumped out five more bursts of blood until the oxygen starved heart finally stopped beating. Approaching from beyond the slumped over torso arrived a new challenger's charge! With just enough time to grab a nearby battle-axe the barbarian was now armed with two lethal weapons! Prepared for the fight, first came a defensive block of the sword followed on by the telling blow of a battle-axe to his assailant's ribs. A strike so powerful that four ribs were thoroughly decimated whilst the axe head continued its journey to penetrate the lung then delve deeply into the heart! Death was only moments away as next the aggrieved barbarian bit off his would be attackers nose then spitefully spat it out to the sky! Unexpectedly, the marauding warrior was then forcefully impacted from the rear by yet another challenger who would skillfully use their shield to send the off guard barbarian warrior to the ground! With battle axe and sword remaining in his possession and situated in a low down position the barbarian proceeded to swing his axe sideways into the standing opponents unprotected knee joint.

Suffering extensive shattered bone and cartilage damage the destroyed kneecap forced an off balance challenger to stagger sideways directly onto the barbarians upwards thrusting sword aimed at the groin region. Overwhelming, the immense pain forced the defeated attacker to release both shield and sword as blood flowed freely out from his mouth and all other orifices! To further confirm the kill, the battle-axe now entered the skull with such power it dug deep into the ground underneath! Enraged he could be attacked with such surprise the infuriated barbarian would seek to take the offensive as next he turned his full attention to a new opponent approaching on horseback. Instinctively came the devastating insertion of his long steel blade deep into the horse's exposed neck. A lethal action followed up by a vicious sword swing slicing deeply into both front legs. Mortally wounded the horse was taken down as was its hapless rider who at this point was firmly trapped under his fallen horse. Displaying his lust for blood the battle hardened barbarian quickly moved in for a devastating kill! Then, with one skillfully executed precision cut to the jugular vein, it was over!

Alerted to archers closing in on him the barbarian warrior would take cover behind the blood soaked body of the dead horse. Numerous thudding sounds indicated an onslaught of arrows repeatedly impacting his dead equine safety barrier. Aware of an escalating dilemma the barbarian knew he must ultimately charge or be outflanked! Finally sensing a lull in the arrow's barrage the barbarian warrior quickly determined the archers were currently reloading and that now was the optimum time to make his charge! Without fear or hesitation the barbarian swiftly rose to his feet surging forwards to confront the danger! Unexpected, this counter attack would fluster the archers to such a point the upper hand was instantly achieved. Inconceivably this charging warrior would suddenly emerge from within their unsettled ranks. Bloodthirsty, his sword and battle-axe violently swung to any and all directions, inflicting a number of telling wounds! All designed to bring an enemy's life to a brutal end! Within two minutes of destructive rage the barbarian warrior had managed to kill another five of his foes! Badly injured, three more hastily retreated into the woods in sheer terror.

In the belief he was temporarily out of danger the barbarian momentarily let down his guard as suddenly from below a surviving archer stabbed deeply into his thigh muscle with a long dagger. Suffering shock more than injury the barbarian warrior instinctively backhanded the archer with all his might. Stunned, the archer's sight was temporarily blurred. Then just as vision returned he was greeted by two eye gouging thumbs of an enraged barbarian warrior! The luckless archer's exploding eyeballs were pushed so far back into the skull it was impossible to know there had ever been a pupil in there at all? Vengeful, the warrior now strategically placed his foot on the disabled archer's neck then grabbed a tuff of hair with such strength that part of the scalp detached its self from the bleeding skull! A leverage move that would ultimately break the archers neck in the process.

Confidently surveying the collective results of his victorious slaughter spree. The triumphant barbarian soon concluded not one of his many challengers possessed neither the strength nor the skills required to match his brutal prowess. Suddenly, adjoining a proud war cry from a hill up above came the sight of an equally well-proportioned individual wielding two raised battle-axes up high! At last a true contest the barbarian announced to his new combatant. Challenge accepted, the two powerful fighters ran directly to the deadly confrontation in full knowledge only one would walk away on this bloodied day. At the moment of impact sharp blows were traded and minor injuries sustained. A fierce fight to the death had begun! His rival's sharpened battle-axes struck down on the defending barbarian's shield only to be repelled by equal force! Swiftly the barbarian warrior's sword swung back in retaliation, clipping his challenger's ear to instantly draw blood. Surprised by the close call two battle-axes were defiantly raised in unison attempting to strike down the final deathblow on the barbarian warrior. However this bold move would ultimately leave the torso exposed and vulnerable to attack!

With his shield defensively positioned the warrior barbarian punched forwards with all his strength to halt the axes fall then skillfully wielded his sword forwards into his enemy's unprotected heart! Abruptly, the fight was over as slowly the barbarian withdrew his blood stained sword then spitefully rammed it sideways into the dying opponents ear! Vindictively he exerted unrelenting pressure until the sword finally exited out the other ear! Next he would place his knee to the fractured face whilst pulling back hard on the sword to slice the head wide open at the front. Looking down at the defeated lifeless body of his only worthy opponent a bemused Barbarian openly questioned "Why do they always attack on the day I give up smoking? It's a bad idea!"

### Pulp Torrent

What happens when an investigator discovers the dark side of the web?

"Don't worry everybody does it! Torrents are for everyone" remarked Tamsin.

"Well I still think it's wrong and what about all those reports I read about the government cracking down on the folk doing it?" asked Wallis

"Really? You still actually believe everything you read on the Internet, surely by now you know those stupid rumors are just circulated to warn people off getting stuff for free. There is no way it's true!" And with that a giggling Tamsin hastily leaves the room in a display of contempt! The cautious Wallis had by now also risen to his feet, demonstrating his uncertainty. "You can never be too careful" he thought to himself as he prepared to meet the day. "Besides I'm still not quite sure what it's all about?"

Wallis is not a complete slouch when it comes to doing things online. His blog LoveCheats.Nyc is up to five thousand followers on any given day and if his Facebook page is anything to go by he has many more fans than that! Yep Wallis is a busy boy when it comes to letting the world know about his life plus all the ups and downs of being a Private Investigator in New York City. Ah The Big Apple, so many secrets and to think people actually pay me to uncover them! Although even Wallis has to admit there are only so many "cheating on me" cases he can handle each week. Sure, Wallis gets to go to all the clubs and keep track on these so called secret rendezvous but like anything it becomes boring after a while. It sure does make his blog an interesting read though (Of course all names have been changed to protect the innocent) "What a joke, if only I could get something to really sink my teeth into! Oh well gotta pay the bills somehow, maybe I'll write a tell all book one day and cash in"

Tamsin still remembers the day they met and how she noticed Wallis was the only sober man in the club at 3.am. It's what initially attracted her to him. After all what kind of man refuses the vast array of drunken girls spontaneously throwing themselves at his feet. All in the hope of a quick physical encounter in the toilets! Repeatedly, they were simply told "thanks but no thanks" then politely brushed away. Tamsin felt damn sure this guy had something extra no one else in the club could identify? She was correct, Wallis was actually able to separate work from play and then keep it that way. Perhaps it was just good timing or Wallis's need to blend into the scene a little more, but when Tamsin approached him asking "Would you like to talk" Even though there was no verbal reply his warm silent smile came across as an an open invitation for Tamsin to share a conversation. Then as they say, the rest is history! That was three years ago now and since then they have never really had a bad argument or disagreement.

Tamsin is just a little more daring than Wallis and even though he has all the juicy bits to write about, she considers herself to be his juiciest bit. It's plain bad luck that he can't write about her erotic escapades as an on call Bondage Mistress to some of the City's most upstanding citizens. The thing is, once you start to openly share the Deputy Mayors secret nappy wearing fetish. You can most likely probably expect a revenge bullet in the head in the very near future. Seems folk in high places sure don't not like anyone guessing what really happens in their private life, not even accidently. No, you can't even hint at who is leading a double life in this town and expect to live a long life. They will all happily kill you if it means their dirty little secret remains that way. A dirty little secret! Although occasionally half way through doing the wild thing with Wallis Tamsin bursts out laughing loudly while sharing a couple vague snippets of her day's crazy adventures. More often than not Wallis is none too keen to hear about someone shoving uncooked baked beans up their ass!

On the other hand Wallis regularly enjoys sharing all the latest conspiracy theories with Tamsin. He knows she is open to hearing his many varied wayward thoughts. After all anything he can come up with seems quite tame compared to her real life stories! Regardless, it's always a little fun for them to ponder all the things he sometimes hears about while on the job. You would be surprised what you hear sitting at a bar or standing in the shadows quietly watching unfaithful lovers in action. Lately the favorite topic of choice has been The Dark Web and all the secrets it holds? Is there really another world online out there somewhere? Do all these stories about Dark Web users really need to end with someone dying rather than giving up a vital piece of information? Wallis kind of really digs it when he gets to follow an unfaithful sun starved geek, because the nearby conversations are always intriguing and thought provoking. Heck he's even rekindled his interest in the President Kennedy Assassination. Yep "most probably the Cia"

However it's the secretly overheard conversations about the mysterious online dark world that really get Wallis edging just a little closer to hear the full story. Totally distracted, he has even lost the occasional target he was supposedly keeping tabs on in the past. Such is his fascination with all things Dark Web. Apparently Wallis really is willing to lose a day's pay if the conversation he is ear's dropping on is better value! The thing is lately the same topic keeps propping up. The Wrong Movie, a dangerous movie. More than once Wallis has listened in on a conversation about some twisted new movie that is fast becoming the talk of all the geeks in town. It is said this strange mystical underworld movie has the power to enter an unsuspecting viewer's brain. Then export all the hidden secrets of a lifetime back into the entity known as the Dark Web. But what really bugs Wallis is that he never gets to actually hear what happens to the victims of this torrid experience? Do they live afterwards or do they......?

Perhaps the most annoying aspect to this ongoing mystery is that just when he forgets about it for a day or two he gets wind of it all over again. Lately Wallis is starting to wonder if somehow it is being arranged for him to gain access to all this "Geeks Only" knowledge? After all no one he knows has ever mentioned it. Then each time he does they all just laugh at him and sarcastically ask if he is now drinking on the job! Maybe it's the term he uses? Dark Web Torrent Movie. Surely he can't be the only one in his circle of friends that is aware of this dire term? From all unconfirmed accounts this seems to be a hideous experience for a mounting number of unsuspecting participants. No way, watching an illegally downloaded movie can't kill you? Can it? Perhaps it's just human nature to be so curious about something so odd like this. After all it really does sound like it has come straight from a weird science fiction horror story!

Suddenly the silence is broken as the phone rings out extra loud! Wallis says to himself "Thank God I got rid of that Hank Williams, Your Cheatin Heart ring tone" Yep, no doubt about it, the opening track to Pulp Fiction is way cooler! It's a real call to action tune with that pumping extra fast guitar sound. Then just as he goes to pick it up the thought enters his mind "I hope it's not another whiny gay guy complaining about his cheating lover" Wallis has nothing against the Gays "heck let em all get married then be as miserable as the rest of us has always been his motto" However it just seems every time he follows one of these sex craved cheaters into a bar he is gonna get hit on. As flattering as it is, there always the predictably awkward reaction to the moment he rejects his would be lover's advances. All too often some of these horny fuckers just don't give up, even when abruptly told "Look I'm not gay, I'm here for something else" A fact that only seems to enrage some folk "Well fuck off back to the straight club ya fucking cockteaser" The thing is Wallis always charges an extra ten to fifteen percent for these "uncomfortable" jobs. It goes a long way to paying the rent! So each and every "gay" job is begrudgingly accepted. Besides when you got a girl like Tamsin with tits to next Tuesday you don't need anything else!

"Hello, this is Love Cheat Investigations how can I help you?" he confidently announces

"I think I need your help?" declares a mysterious women's voice

"Sure, what's up"

"I think my girl is cheating on me"

The first thought that comes into Wallis's mind is "Oh no not another fucking Lesbian case. These are much harder because some clubs simply wont let me in"

"Hey lady, you do realize I can't follow her into a Lesbian Bar" inquires Wallis

"No No No, I am sure that bitch is cheating with a guy, it's really starting to eat away at me!"

Wallis takes a deep breath and silently rejoices in the fact this may not be as difficult as first considered. This could even be a good story for his blog? After all doesn't everyone love reading about some hot swinging lesbo action a smiling Wallis grins to himself.

"Sure I can help, it's what I do and I do it well"

The next five or so minutes see's Wallis desperately trying to write down all the intricate details. So he can do the best job for this noticeably jealous sounding lady. An angry lady, possibly more concerned about her partners sexual choice rather than the fact she is being unfaithful? Some assignments can be over in just a few brief hours and some take a bit longer. It all depends on the circumstances? Wallis always prefers the quick cases where a few photos of the unfaithful cheater see's him swiftly paid for his time and efforts. Although every now and then he gets a complicated case that can go for a few days, possibly even a week! These are the assignments that really remind him of what his chosen profession is all about. Gratefully there just might be a complex mystery and it's up to him to solve it! If he's lucky it may be something other than another cheater doing the dirty on somebody. Occasionally it may be a simple heartfelt question needing an honest answer! But only if he's really lucky it seems. Simple fact is today's fast society seems all too happy to fuck around behind someone's back! Skeptically he ponders......Just human nature I guess?

Armed with all the essential juicy bits of the case Wallis gently rubs Tamsin's sweet pussy for just a few teasing moments then confidently insists "Do wait up for me" For some reason he always gets extra horny when working on a Lesbian case and a smiling Tamsin knows it "Hurry back honey I'm here waiting" she whispers in a sensual teasing voice as he exits the apartment. Standard procedure is to first identify the client's target of suspicion. Then follow until a definitive moment of proof can be captured on film. A deep kiss is normally considered adequate evidence. Not an embrace and not a peck on the check. Past experience has taught Wallis these moments can actually be quite innocent as two old friends reacquaint themselves after a long hiatus. For proof positive it must be an obvious open mouth lustful meeting of two wandering wet tongues! Wallis sometimes wonders if he should be working in the porn industry when contemplating just how many moments of desire he has covertly captured on film to later be presented as evidence!

Occasionally if something particularly pisses Wallis off he considers all the havoc that would be created if he actually did release a spiteful book of photos. Highlighted with the footnote "Cheating Cunt" under each and every single image! The thing is although he always tells a client that all pictures have now been deleted. In reality there is always a back up copy floating around somewhere. Just in case an aggrieved employer suddenly decides not to pay up! Then throw in his additional verbal challenge of "Do you think your cheating lover would like to know you paid me to secretly take this photo?" Sooner than later, begrudged money eventually passes hands! In all these years only once has a client ever taken him up on this verbal challenge. Which may be a good thing because when he did show the cheating lover what he had on film Wallis was spitefully shown two suitcases then abruptly told 'I don't give a fuck I've left her anyway so you can go fuck yourself" Seems a bluff can sometimes go astray but nine times out of ten it works well, so go with it for now. But just imagine how many pissed off people there would be if he actually did print that show all book? Most times the thought of ten thousand angry people chasing him to another state soon alleviates whatever fucked up his day.

Arriving at the supplied address Wallis begins the usual routine of sipping on a barely warm cuppa joe then surveying the immediate surrounds of where the case will begin. One thing he absolutely hates is when the targeted cheater inadvertently arrives back at the supplied location. This means he is destined for a long wait and even colder coffee! "Gotta remember to buy that thermos" Most take away coffee really does taste like shit these days. In Wallis's world to arrive at a location and observe the cheater leaving the premises is a much better result. He can start his work instantly. He can follow the perpetrator and get closer to closing the case! Sometimes observing the cheater do their thing may not turn out to be quite as expected? Wallis still recalls the time he watched on as his target entered and luxury hotel, only to be met by his sexy girl Tamsin in the foyer. Now that truly was fucked up! What was he to do? Break cover and confront the cheating whore, his cheating whore! Or faithfully accept that she may have just been an innocent and unknowing participant caught up in the real cheater's affairs? After all Tamsin doesn't exactly have a questionnaire for her high paying clandestine clients.

Luckily she mentioned it while they were fucking later that night as a slightly confused Wallis did all within his power not to accuse her of infidelity! The very existence that secures his living! Unawares to Wallis's concerns the faithful Tamsin briefly spoke of the day's unusual encounter. It was with nerdy looking business banker wanting her to wear an extra large merkin pubic hair wig while whipping him. A grateful Wallis had finally found an opening for a "Aint it a small world" comment. In strange twist to that night they made some of the best 'Make up after an argument sex" they had ever enjoyed. Which considering there never was an actual argument seemed like total bonus! You could say their special bond was cemented even further as a result of that night. All because their two unusual professions had accidently crossed paths while they were both on the job. Life truly is stranger than fiction sometimes?

Wallis was in possession of a recent photo showing an extremely attractive well dressed blonde women with more shapes than a Hawaiian Bikini Contest! So when the silhouette of a extremely curvaceous woman displaying a distinctive wiggle exited the premises. He knew it was now time to start work. The bright glare of the afternoon's sun made it hard for Wallis to confirm it was in fact his designated target? But all his instincts told him to follow her now or lose the chance for possible end result on this day. Squinted eyes tracked all of her many luscious movements. Wallis conceded to himself he too might have hired a private investigator if she was his lover! Watching from afar Wallis found himself constantly referring to the image given to him by the client. After the tenth glance at the supplied photo he conceded all these repeated confirmations were really just for his own pleasure. This slinky moving woman was truly stunning and to think he was yet to see her up close. It occurred to Wallis this is possibly why he likes what he does so much! Every now and then he observes a woman he considers to be a possible equal to that of his beloved Tamsin. That just doesn't happen too often. Happily, this was one of those times!

Mesmerized, Wallis watched on as the many fans of natural beauty simultaneously turned heads as this drop dead stunner of a women passed them by. Any true admirer of a beautiful woman could simply not resist an obvious head turn! It was a natural reaction, in fact it was an obligation for all lucky enough to share the sidewalk with her! Over the years Wallis had accumulated a knowledge he referred to as a 'Cheaters Radar" It was kind of a natural instinct built up over the many instances of observing human behavior. Certain mannerisms such as a noticeably hurried walk only stopping to confirm one's appearance was quite often a dead give away. "In a hurry for some hot sneaky sex no doubt" Or a quick visit to a fine wine or exclusive gift store were also good indicators of a cheater at work! So far this hot looking lady who was appropriately named Grace (Amazing Grace) had yet to display any such behavior patterns? At this point there was nothing obvious to make Wallis think she was actually on the way to a secret liaison.

There was no rush, no vain confidence boosting glances into shop fronts to confirm one's appearance. No, Grace just seemed to be a lady going about a usual day's routine. Wallis didn't mind this one bit if it meant he was destined to admire her for a longer period of time. Unusually, without ever having known Grace, Wallis was fast becoming infatuated with her! "Damn, and to think I get paid to do this" Intrigued minutes progressed to joyful hours as Wallis continued the task at hand. He hadn't even noticed how quickly the day had got away from him. Finally after a journey of many blocks Grace suddenly stopped outside a computer store. This was the first time today Wallis's Cheaters Radar went off? It was an abrupt and unexpected pause to a long walk. What was she up too? Hanging back in the shadows Wallis watched on to see her enter the computer store. Minutes later Grace and a noticeably well dressed male companion exited the shop front together. Oddly enough they were both carrying what appeared to be computer bags? At first Wallis's instincts assumed this was his target's lover. Frustratingly though the body language shared between these two would neither confirm nor dismiss their current relationship status? This was officially a mystery!

Captivated, Wallis followed behind just close enough to view their interactions without being considered to be purposely intruding on their personal space. The Cheaters Radar was on but there was still no definitive answer to this perplexing situation. Was this her secret lover? Was the client correct in assuming her beautiful partner was indeed involved in a secret hot love affair? Distraught by the thought that Grace was somehow less than perfect. Wallis found himself resisting the urge to run up to her, pleading, "Don't do it! You are infallible and there is still time to amend this one minor flaw in your perfect character" Wisely Wallis now hung back, deciding to follow the couple from a little further beyond at this point. He also took a moment to contemplate the unusual rush of blood just experienced. On the odd previous occasion this had happened before Wallis always took the time to think of Tamsin's perfectly shaped breasts! He would then remind himself of how they were patiently waiting at home, waiting to be fondled and adored by only him! This passionate wake up call had always worked in the past and would hopefully work again today. Still somewhat infatuated with the stunning Grace a more composed Wallis was ready to discretely stick to the task at hand, hard evidence!

In this crazy business you sometimes have to think on your feet and be prepared for the unexpected. Wallis had the distinct feeling he would soon be hailing down a cab to pursue the couple up ahead if past experiences were anything to go by? More than once before he had been forced to utter those famous clichéd words 'Follow that cab!" Would today be a repeat performance he wondered? Surprisingly Wallis found himself questioning some of his most basic investigative instincts. Heck, even his "Cheaters Radar" was a little amiss at the moment. To say this straight forwards case was going a little astray would be an understatement. Confusion was not normally an emotion Wallis would have to endure. Yet here he was, as each second passed by this normally super confident man was forced to question all the many years of experience of his chosen profession. Similar to a hung jury Wallis could not convincingly declare a set verdict. This case was frustratingly deceptive in appearance and in evidence. Sure they admirably smiled at each other! But were these the actions of two lovers in a secret rendezvous or just flirtatious friends? Too early to make a call on that one.

Suddenly the right hand of the "Grace's Cryptic Friend" raised to the up to sky, possibly desiring to catch a nearby cab's attention. This is it Wallis thought to himself "The chase is on! I finally get to catch these two mysterious people with their guard down at an as yet unknown destination" Then just as quickly as the hand had risen it returned to the man's side? Apparently he was just pointing to something the sky. "Damn I wish I could have heard what he was saying?" Unable to resist the urge Wallis once more returned to what some folk may label as the "stalking position" He needed definitive answers and was not going to miss another word of their conversation! Under suspicion the mystery couple abruptly came to a halt just outside the entranceway to a seedy dark looking laneway. Embarrassingly by now Wallis was following so close he nearly couldn't stop in time. There was no choice other than to awkwardly slip past them or be detected! Looking away to avoid eye contact Wallis overheard the man ask a smiling Grace "Are you ready?" As if this strange day's events hadn't been confusing enough. Wallis now had to decide if these words were an invitation for pleasure or a question to something completely unrelated?

When at risk of being perceived as an unwanted stalker you have no choice other than to do your upmost to stay out of a target's mind. Wallis found himself forced to continue walking on for another three shop fronts before finally stopping to nonchalantly gaze into a store's window. Confident there would be no ramifications for the close call, only now could Wallis take the chance to carefully look back towards his target. A clandestine over the shoulder glance back towards the target revealed the under suspicion couple were now proceeding into what appeared as just an old desolate laneway. It was time to get back to tracking them! Upon reaching the laneway's entrance an extra cautious Wallis observed the couple's silhouette entering an odd teardrop shaped doorway? Click! Just enough time for Wallis to take their picture! Then with that single instant snap they were gone! Once more it was back to the frustration of the waiting game. One good thing about New York is that there is always some bad coffee nearby. Wallis decided it was time to quench his thirst. It also occurred to him he had not eaten all day! Turns out this unscheduled downtime would be a good opportunity to refuel an empty stomach.

As luck would have it he could do all this while perfectly positioning himself at a diner's front window to keep watch on the laneway. Slowly the minutes ticked over as eventually Wallis consumed all of his belated lunch. Somewhere close to an hour later the odd shaped doorway swung open. Although worryingly the well dressed gent re-appeared by himself? Concerned for Grace's well being Wallis decided to take a better photo of the man who was calmly closing the door behind him. It was obvious Grace was not going to follow him out of that lane. Curiously, it was also noted the well dressed gent was now in possession of both computer bags? Wallis was grateful to have this strange mans image in his possession because if he had somehow harmed Amazing Grace in any way. Well you had better watch out mister! The mysterious man exited the laneway then continued to walk on until out finally of sight. It was surely time for Wallis to investigate Grace's fate?

Slightly panicked, Wallis couldn't help but wonder if he would unwillingly discover the scattered gut wrenching blood soaked remnants of a once perfect women? Would Grace's remains be audaciously displayed as an obvious murder victim to deliberately appall all who were fortunate enough to admire her glorious beauty! Or would another equally disturbing scenario be played out? Perhaps she would be lying on the ground close to death? Would Wallis now be her hero? Perhaps he would be an admired savior reviving her back to consciousness as his invigorated lips touched hers to restart a damaged life. Maybe, just maybe Wallis had completely misread the situation? Grace was possibly still inside surveying the premises for an upcoming renovation project. Hopefully Grace was so utterly entrenched in her vision of what this old dump of a space could really become she had simply stayed there for a bit longer? Every distorted memory of all the horror movies Wallis had ever watched soon came flooding back to in him in waves of terror so strong he was fast forgetting to breathe!

Not coping well with this unforeseen situation Wallis began gulping in bursts of air deep down into his lungs! Concerned for Grace, he thoroughly studied the recently obtained photos of the well dressed man. It had to be said, not one single hair appeared to be out of place plus there were no signs of blood. Gratefully this was a good indication there had been no foul play. However somewhere behind the odd teardrop shaped doorway an answer was waiting. It would be up to Wallis to go and retrieve the truth. It was officially time to step up and find out exactly what has happened to Grace? Out of the diner Wallis ran directly to the laneway's entrance! In fact he ran so fast he forgot to even look to see if there were any cars approaching? An angry loud blast of a horn from a disgruntled driver soon reminded him of his mistake. No time to worry about that now, gotta get to Grace! Seconds later a panting Wallis arrived at the mysterious doorway. Oddly, the appearance of the teardrop shaped doorway felt quite confronting! It was as if they been purposely built that way to challenge any reasonable persons perception of how a standard building's entrance dimensions really should be?

Another deep breath as now his trembling hand carefully reached out to the bronze twisted door handle, strangely reminiscent an angry snake. Nervous fingers wrapped tightly around the cold metal as Wallis prepared himself for God knows what was on the other side? Expecting the odd shaped door's resistance Wallis forcefully pulled back only to find it swung out as if it was brand new. Off balance he instantly fell to the ground. Embarrassed Wallis swiftly got back to his feet while looking around to see if anyone had witnessed this awkward moment? Reassured and now facing the waiting room ahead of him Wallis's eyes were instantly blinded by a vivid hue of beaming white light strongly resonating back out the doorway's entrance. Disorientated, his mind experienced a nauseating headache, similar to eating ice cream way too fast. Confused and off balance Wallis stopped dead in his tracks until able to properly adjust his vision to proceed. Now ready to advance further, a tentative step forwards was taken. So far so good, but this damn light is just so strong!

Wallis placed his hands over rapidly blinking eyes, attempting to put a halt to the ongoing disorientation. Forging ahead slowly with eyes forced tightly closed, hearing would soon take over as the main human navigation sense! Sounds of violently swirling wind seemed only a short distance away? There was no doubting, it was definitely coming from inside the building. It was going hurt but Wallis knew he had no choice other than to reopen his irritated eyes, if he was to uncover the mystery behind this swirling wind? Slowly, through erratic blinking motions Wallis opened up his left eye, then his right. Attempting to regain full focus both eyes constantly shuttered in unison. Finally moments later clear vision was gratefully achieved! To the left then to the right Wallis's watering eyes surveyed all to see. But there was nothing? Only a perfectly white landscape of emptiness! Baffled, Wallis was unable to determine exactly where the building's walls separated from the floor and reached up to the ceiling? Everywhere just a gleaming white horizon with only one aspect noticeably out of place? A nearby swirling circle of what appeared to be gathered up post it notes rotating clockwise, fast then slow then fast again.

With no evidence or indication Grace had ever actually been here, this was his only real clue. Desperate for answers Wallis ran to mini tornado ahead. Frantically he reached into the spiraling mini twister attempting to retrieve one of the spinning post it notes. As his eager hand entered the spinning vortex the circular wind flow instantly stopped, leaving all the floating notes to gently fall to the ground. Somewhat flummoxed by the whole bizarre experience up to this point. Wallis took a brief moment to summon up the courage needed to bend down and retrieve one of the grounded post it notes. Moments later he cautiously crouched down reaching out to the closest note. Slowly he picked it up and raised it to his face to peruse. It simply read, The Dark Web! Accompanying these three solitary words the post it note also displayed a single congealed droplet of blood. Stunned at what he had read Wallis disparagingly threw the paper message to the ground then repeated the process with a new post it note. Disturbingly the result was the same, each and every time he tried! Just the three words and a drop of red blood!

Suffering shock and unable to comprehend the meaning of it all a puzzled Wallis swung his head to all directions hoping Grace would somehow be nearby? Maybe even chastise him for following her! A distraught Wallis realized all he could do was to study the post it note displaying three solitary words and a drop of dry hardened blood! Rarely has Wallis ever felt completely powerless, this was officially one of those times. Overcome by a strange indescribable unknown remorse Wallis knew it was time to leave. It was time to say goodbye to Amazing Grace! Inexplicably she was gone, but how and why? For most of the long walk back home all Wallis could do was to stare at the lone post it note taken from the building. He soon found himself apologizing to all manner of aggrieved folk he bumped into while completely transfixed on the post it note in his possession. Although well aware of the way home Wallis felt completely lost. Hours later a bewildered Wallis climbed the numerous steps to the apartment where a hot and horny Tamsin lay in wait!

Tamsin knew her man well enough to sense something was up the instant he walked through the door. Sadly this hot sex session may have to be put on hiatus for just a little while as she tried to work out the reason for Wallis's vacant stare? Frustrated at the lack of response to some non-too probing questions Tamsin announced she would be taking a steamy shower. This was an open invitation for Wallis to join even though she knew he would not be caressing her under free flowing hot water on this night. Powerless to make any sense of the situation Wallis vaguely looked around the room for answers until his eyes locked on the laptop computer. This was the only tool that could possibly assist him at this point, but where to start? One thing Wallis knew for sure was that he would search for all matters relating to The Dark Web. After all, it was his only real clue! Hours later and suffering from information overload a no better informed Wallis continued his quest to uncover the true meaning of The Dark Web? Then there was also the perplexing unanswered question of how did it all relate to the mysterious note?

Eventually Wallis fell asleep, drained and mentally exhausted. An hour or so later he woke to the sound of a loud closing door. Frustrated, Tamsin had decided to go for a walk while her man got his "shit together" Wallis refocused on the laptop then decided to do something he has never done before, download an illegal torrent from the web. Fuck it, what a day I need something to put my head somewhere else a defeated Wallis told himself. Tamsin's scoffing remarks from the previous day that it was ok to do it because everyone else does it still resonated in an overwhelmed Wallis's mind. Yep I'm gonna grab me a free movie! Heck maybe even a comedy might be just what I need! Then when Tamsin returns I'll remind her just how good I am at finding the G-spot! Finally here was the first step to recovery, then getting things back to normal. With absolutely no idea of what to do Wallis searched the web for free movie torrents and to his surprise a vast array of results appeared.

Not completely ignorant to the fact that much of the free stuff is sometimes a dud Wallis found himself going through the many options each site offered. Problem was each time he tried to download a movie file of his choice it failed? Constant messages appeared "No Seeds or No Peers" making it seem like wasted effort. Starting to feel just a little down again Wallis decided to reassess his movie selections. Well it's been a truly fucked up day so maybe a horror film might be what I really need? Wallis consoled himself. Yep let's watch some other unfortunate people having a worse day than me he spitefully sniggered to himself. In the horror section of a new site and not really up with the latest releases, Wallis decided to simply close his eyes and click on where the mouse would land after a couple of swirling motions. With eyes remaining tightly closed the mouse was now double clicked. Then Wallis opened his eyes to reveal the random movie of choice. Disturbed by what was on view a distraught Wallis threw himself back into the chair. Unbelievably his random movie selection was titled The Dark Web!

"You have to be fucking kidding me' an infuriated Wallis screamed out, "No fucking way can this be coincidence!" Angered, once more he screamed out his displeasure at the monitor! "There is something definitely going here, but what, why?" After considering all his options (which were basically none) Wallis abruptly shouted "Fuck it" Then clicked the link open, revealing the unexpected website address titled TheDarkWeb.Gov Genuinely horrified by the thought his government may actually be behind all this fucking madness? A defiant Wallis repeatedly clicked the only available button on a noticeably vacant website. It was the download link. Without any from of warning suddenly came an explosion of concentrated white light beaming out from the laptop! Momentarily stunned and blinded Wallis remained static until his first clear thought returned him to the building displaying the odd teardrop shaped doorway. Relentless waves of nausea soon overtook all sense of balance and wellbeing! Disturbingly he was now inexplicably experiencing the same effects of entering the white light building. Somehow all this shit was connected?

Returned to the incomprehensible reality of the newly blinded, as previously Wallis was forced to migrate his main sense of perception over to sound. However unlike his earlier experience this time he could hear an unfamiliar rising electronic noise? Unidentified this peculiar new sound was seemingly building up to some kind of crescendo! Total panic quickly set in as his strongest emotion. Frozen in fear Wallis was overcome by the realization something beyond normal was unfolding? Beyond all comprehension here he was, trapped and unwillingly involved! Quivering fingers and toes tightly tensed up as helplessly Wallis tried with all his might to resist the overwhelming urge to open his eyes. Begrudgingly the horror of this daunting predicament eventually got the better of him as a rapidly blinking left eye wrenched itself open. But it was all to no avail and remained blinded by the forceful unknown light radiating from the laptop's shaking screen. Calling upon inner strength the right eye also joined in the fight to regain control plus an understanding of the macabre situation unfolding in front of him. Constant blinking made it hard to focus, but similarly as he had done so only hours previously Wallis gradually regained his sight! Just as the rising electronic buzzing sound reached its peek! Watering eyes re-focused on the display ahead as unexpectedly four streaks of highly concentrated light exploded out from the laptop's bright screen directly to each of his four limbs.

Paralyzed by utter fear plus the eye popping sensation of unrelenting pain. A horrified Wallis watched on as the four concentrated light streaks began to burn away at his soft smoking flesh! The excruciating sensation of skin being lasered away from his flesh would see a mortified Wallis regularly fade in and out of consciousness. To add to his complete terror each time Wallis opened his eyes, less and less of his skin remained adhered to his body. Helplessly trapped while being unpeeled alive, the intense agony would see a remorseful Wallis pleading forgiveness from any and all Gods ever worshiped during this planet's existence! Suffering unimaginable pain accompanied by the horrific sight of increasingly exposed muscles, tendons and veins. A statuesque Wallis observed two sinister burning light forces leave the region of his legs to start a rapid to climb up his torso! Meanwhile the piercing light forces attacking his arms had by now parked on top of both his shoulders. As if purposely waiting for the lower light sources to catch up so they could all finish the job off together?

Sporadic sounds of bursting blood veins and singed nerves broke the ever-constant humming sound of the buzzing lights evil work. Soon, much to Wallis's even greater horror the two lower beams of light had now reached his neckline! They would then join up with the currently stagnated shoulder lights to continue their evil deed! With all lights working in conjunction the pain level increased to what felt like ten fold. Climbing up from under his chin Wallis smelt the unshaved whiskers on his face burning away with the knowledge this rising terror would soon reach his eye line. Violent bursts of flame erupted from the back of his head as numerous tuffs of hair ignited into various spot fires. His ears felt the stinging sensation of one thousand razor blade cuts as next the savage burning white light reached deeply into his ear cavities! With no viable means of defenses to call upon Wallis closed his eyes in the vague hope his thin eyelids would protect him from the mind boggling sight of his smoldering flesh. There would no escaping this traumatic dilemma as next eyelashes and eyelids began to disappear into wafts of burnt skin and tarnished smoke. Aware that the impending end was near Wallis silently said his goodbyes to a cruel world and begrudgingly accepted an unusual demise!

Relentlessly the unforgiving light source all too quickly rose up past his smoldering eyebrows. Aware his time was limited Wallis allowed himself to think of the joy Tamsin had given him during their time together. Then for just one fleeting moment the overwhelming pain was gone. Gratefully the unmistakable noise of the burning white lights retreated to barely audible. Frozen in terror there he was, still alive and forced to observe his human body of exposed flesh normally hidden beneath skin! Wallis tried to lick his withered lips, however the sharp stinging pain soon forced his tongue to retreat back into the safety of his mouth cavity. Heavy erratic breathing dominated the space of the room and other than the odd blood vessel bursting. Wallis did not even try to move his exposed limbs. He knew the end result would be just too painful! Plus there was the fact that he was absolutely shit scared of seeing all his loose flesh fall off the bone to the floor!

Only the reassuring knowledge this horrendous end to a life would soon conclude kept a disbelieving Wallis strong enough to produce the occasional rational thought. Unrelenting bouts of insurmountable pain meant clarity was hard to find! Yes this was going to be the end to his life and the finale was surely only seconds away, Wallis consoled himself. Resentfully looking forwards to the laptop's screen Wallis would comprehensively relive all the forgotten nightmares endured as both a child and adult. Unable to move, each and every frightening ordeal ever experienced quickly flashed past his eyes. Once the darkest moments of Wallis's life finally receded back into his mind he was again left to deal with the reflection of his current nightmare. Wallis tried hard to cry but his tear ducts were long gone by now, it was futile! Unable to comprehend the true meaning of it all he repeatedly comforted himself with the knowledge this surreal event would ending momentarily. After all how long can a human body exist without skin? The extensive damage suffered from the laser burns would surely see his exposed flesh succumb to toxic shock, yes not long now! Although receiving severe trauma to his ears some remnants of hearing remained. Moments later much to Wallis's indescribable torment he was alerted to the sound of the burning white lights unwanted return!

With no eyelids left to hide behind Wallis found himself blinded as the four cruel white light beams returned to exactly where they had previously started on each limb. The thought of going through the same agonizing process again was just too overwhelming as Wallis fell back into unconsciousness. Although his eyes remained exposed, by now his brain had shut down all responses to anything visual. It was his only defensive mechanism remaining, denial! Basically if the brain refuses to acknowledge a dilemma, the dilemma cannot freak the brain out! Subconsciously Wallis's terrified mind could still hear the lights insidious work. After a short time his traumatized brain could no longer deny the light beams return! Regaining consciousness much to Wallis unspeakable panic he was yet again fully immersed back to the reality of the macabre situation. Frozen in fright and succumbing to a disbelieving morbid fascination he watched on as this time the white lights burnt away even deeper! Unprotected his exposed soft flesh and bone was by now sadistically bubbling up in an appearance only described as similar to that of a burning acid effect!

Shrieking bellows of sheer agony resonated throughout the apartment as Wallis endured unknown horrors only reserved for the worst of mankind's villains! If you were to have faith the bible's words! Although Wallis had never taken the time to read it, he was pretty damn sure there was no mention of laptops burning you away to hell! Seeking sanctuary from the current torment being suffered Wallis reflected on his time spent with the love of his life, Tamsin. Then creeping into his mind came the dreaded though that somehow he was being punished for a fleeting infatuation with Amazing Grace. Can't be, surely not? Looking down to the remains of his scorched body. The only thing Wallis could definitively conclude was that his ravaged legs and arms were nearly completely eradicated! Next would be his torso! Searching for anything to take his mind away from the unrelenting white lasers attacking his flesh. Wallis contemplated a government hell bent on controlling all the entities within this world. Had it somehow mastered the virtual world of the web and was now experimenting with a new previously unimagined weapon?

Wallis watched on as the concentrated white lights continued to burn away at his pain ridden decimated flesh to just past his belly button. Curiously he wondered why his disappearing body did not sink down lower? After all, there was nothing there to support this diminishing mass of gut and bone? But then again this whole fucking nightmare made no sense so why should disappearing body abide to the laws of gravity? The only solace that Wallis could give himself was shortly there would be nothing left, perhaps just a soul? Disparagingly it then occurred to him that unprotected by flesh his soul may be destined for an eternity in hell? What, all for having the fucking hot's for Amazing Grace? "Hey I didn't even fuck her!" With little time left Wallis was doomed to exit this world full of anger and despise at the whole fucking concept of what a life really is? It seemed crazy to think, here he was subjected to a living hell for just a few moments worth of lustful thoughts? Relentlessly the ever rising white lights approached his neck. It would soon be over, thank fucking God!

Desperately trying not to succumb to the final mind altering bouts of laser pain. Wallis thought about the way the hero in a movie always gets to say a few meaningful final last words before meeting his maker. So with that in mind and the rising light force nearly at his chin line. He began screaming as loudly possible "Fuck you all, that's right fuck you all. Undoubtedly I will see you all in hell!" Louder and louder he repeated these final chosen last words until eventually there was no mouth remaining to do so! Panicked eyes darted up and darted down! Then to the left and then the right, all in the vague hope of taking an angelic final last memory to hell. However the scorching white lights were so close to his field of vision by now, it was extremely hard to identify anything with any form of lucidity? Moments later came a stinging feeling entering into his right eye as all sight began to fade. Confused, Wallis wondered why the left eye remained intact? One second later all his thought processes ceased to function. The deviously accurate burning lights would now quickly eradicate the final remainder of his dead brain!

Upon her return as the door to the apartment opened Tamsin was promptly overcome by the foul smell of burning flesh! With no indication her man Wallis was anywhere nearby, there could be no denying this repulsive odor meant trouble "Wallis, Wallis, where you are?" Unsure of the actual situation a concerned Tamsin ran to the kitchen, thinking there may have been a fire in that room? But there was no evidence of a fire or burnt flesh anywhere to be seen? Next she ran to the bedroom then the bathroom, nothing at all? No evidence, it just didn't make any sense? Tamsin knew what she could smell but there was nothing to indicate any form of fire? Perplexed, Tamsin couldn't help but wonder about Wallis's whereabouts? Last place to investigate was the lounge room. It was here that a smoky odor was at its most noticeable! Perhaps it was here where the fire had originated? What the hell has Wallis been up to a thoroughly confused Tamsin questioned? Scouring the room for any relevant clues suddenly her busy eyes focused on the laptop displaying a newly burnt out cracked screen?

Mind shattering barrages of confusion invaded Tamsin's already overworked thought process! Succumbing to escalating panic, it was only now Tamsin fully realized that straight ahead of her was the incomprehensible sight of a single floating bloodshot blue eyeball. Mortified, Tamsin remained frozen still in disbelief and in the knowledge was this undoubtedly Wallis's blue eye! Then without warning the lone blue eye suddenly dropped to the ground and rolled to a stop at a screaming Tamsin's twitching foot! Slowly rocking back and forth the solitary eyeball finally ceased all movement. Right next to a post it note displaying one congealed drop of blood accompanied by a single word 'Grace' As Tamsin's manifestation of categorical denial grew into a verbal protest the apartment's door flung open. Followed on by increasingly louder distressed cries of unbridled terror. Remorseful sounds of weeping sorrow reverberated throughout the grounds of the entire apartment block! Inconsolable Tamsin's spine chilling screams of horrified mental anguish extended to all floors! Moments later came the distinct noise of broken window glass, joined soon after by the thudding sound of woman's body violently impacting the sidewalk three stories below!

After a while the once very popular gossip website LoveCheats.Nyc slowly lost all of its following as disappointingly no new stories appeared for a period of six months. Then out one day out of the blue ten thousand new photos appeared, all brandishing the same highlighted footnote... Cheating Cunts

### The Swap Option

Sometimes in life our choices come back to haunt us. Sometimes the reasons behind those choices return instead!

In the year 2036 we are not quite ready to start teleporting in our daily lives. However the research continues on with the occasional surprise test result popping up out of nowhere! Fascinating to say after many variations of the standard test procedure we have now discovered if two living entities are teleported at the same time. The larger of the two entities will ultimately regress to become the smaller at the other end. This fact has been conclusively demonstrated in over ninety nine percent of all teleporting experiments! We can now officially confirm that it is entirely possible to completely reincarnate one living being into a smaller living being. Providing they both inhabit the transposer capsule together at the same time. Attempting fusion between that of a Human and the Arthropod species? Unprecedented this radical scientific experiment has never been previously attempted, until now!

Tbone Tommy always had an inkling he was somehow kind of special. Although it would be safe to say being the first serial killer in history to be sentenced to the swap option was not quite what he imagined as his one big claim to fame! And to think it wasn't even for all those sadistic murders. Ultimately it would be punishment for the plethora of his perverse torture methods thrusting him into a diabolical dilemma no other human being has ever endured. Yes Tbone Tommy would be the first person ever to experience the unknown horrors of lethal reincarnation. Absolutely unique in its nature this extraordinary sentence of a deadly rebirth was specifically designed to extinguish all remnants of any previous human existence. This penalty was carefully designed to make a convicted killer's last moments as a living entity as genuinely horrific as possibly imaginable! The recent abolishment of the death sentence in the State Of Texas has left the prison system overloaded. There is no hope of recovery unless some form of radical upheaval is undertaken. Many feel the swap option is the answer!

Basically if we can't kill them on the premises, we'll place them into a position where an agonized sub human existence can be assured. Although new, this approach was considered the best avenue of "New World Justice" Of course the worlds do-gooder's believed this radical new era of scientifically based punishment was in its self morally corrupt! In fact it was claimed to be far worse than any other existing form of retribution for crimes against human nature. However all of those in favor simply retort with the comment "Ask the victims how they feel about it, go on ask them how they feel about having a severed ear grafted onto the back of their hand!" It is fact that in the case of the people verses Tbone Tommy the victims statements ran for a record three months and eighteen days! Over this period many permanently physically and mentally scared survivors would recall vividly disturbing accounts of how to go to hell and back! All too regularly many of the disbelieving relatives of the public gallery found themselves forced to hurriedly exit. Waves of nausea overcame many of the unprepared as conjointly they relived each and every horrific moment of terror their poor kin folk had fallen prey to. During the case the court found its self forced to subpoena a total of nine different stenographers! Never ending, sordid tales of depravity deeply impacted on each of the previous stenographers very sanity!

Some unfortunate justice employees found themselves charged with contempt as overwhelmed by it all they were left with no ability to continue on. Mentally shattered, many of these hapless souls would simply stop typing get up and leave! Much to Judge Rinehart's anger! The punishment of few days in jail or a small fine was easily considered the better option. When compared to having endure even one more second of this macabre circus and the sick and twisted tricks of its ringmaster Tbone Tommy! Simply put, the human mind can only tolerate so much violence entwined with degrading tales of woe before it begins to lose association with reality. Wounded, the mind will at this point shut down and possibly never restart? Unprepared the court soon found the need for support from numerous phycology mental health experts as even street hardened cops also succumb to horrendous accounts of physical and mental anguish. All at the hands of just one perverse twisted man. The shared belief that no one individual can be completely evil was now officially defunct! Time after time the jury was bombarded with stories so grotesque in their nature, frequent recesses for all to recover from these graphic accounts of evidence was called for!

A barrage of sadistic taunts from a openly bemused Tbone Tommy did not help the matter either. Eventually Judge Rinehart ruled that the accused to be thoroughly gagged 'For Everyone's Sanity" Even this career hardened Judge was finding it hard to cope with this ongoing influx of mind twisting tales of torture plus other degenerative activities. All aimed at one goal, relentless misery! Religious counselors were soon summoned to become part of the support crew. During certain more graphic days they too were found to be obviously shocked and unable to fulfill their required duties! Over the course of this unprecedented trial a total of five gun wielding "Assassins" were identified by the courthouse's numerous metal detectors. Strategically weapons had been placed within the annexed corridors of the building. All of these "Normally Good Folk" would have their guns confiscated then impounded, they were then sent home without any charges. A decision of Judge Rinehart himself! It was deemed there could be no advantage to adding to the misery toll at this point. The misguided actions of these vigilantes were in fact not beyond the realms of common decency.

Again and again various experts of the mind tried to prove the case for and against Tbone's unimaginable sadistic ways. It was audaciously argued by his defense team that it was society its self who should be on trial! It was decreed that a once innocent individual such as Tbone had only displayed what was considered to be predicable human nature. He was simply exploring the various scenarios so often witnessed on the big screen or on the Internet during his many years on this planet. It was further claimed that if our society condones such atrocities to be publically aired. Then the repercussions of these people of our society acting out all these easy to watch deviant fantasies were to be expected and ultimately forgiven! Horrified at the rationale behind this school of the thought the prosecutors claimed that any reasonable person would realize perverse blood letting experiments are ultimately not acceptable actions as result of watching such horror based media. Simply put it was stated the average person is able to differentiate between such horrendous acts of depravity! They can and do resist any and all urges to experiment in such an unacceptable macabre manner! One of the more incensed public prosecutors reacted to the defense's bizarre rational by shouting out the words "You're Fucking Kidding Aren't You?" Much to the delight of the applauding public gallery.

At this point Judge Rinehart was forced to suspend the outspoken prosecutor's further involvement in the trial. Captured on film his actions however received more than ten million views on YouTube the following day! Seemingly most of the world agreed with this reflex based open showing of disgust against the man Tbone Tommy. A vast array of medical experts shared their accumulated knowledge in regards to what the human body can endure. Most concluded the horrific wounds suffered both mentally and physically were well and truly beyond the bounds of sanity and or decency. Whilst human pain levels and tolerance was to be one of the many subjects explored during the trial. Ultimately it was to be Tbone's almost Medieval approach to how this pain was inflicted onto his victims that would become such a large focus of the media and the prosecutors outrage. Outside the courthouse ongoing stouches between the various supporters of Capitol Punishment and those against also captured many of the headlines. Including the day a gunman opened fire on the Death Penalty Supporters, it was later rumored he was from "The Against Capitol Punishment Camp" .. Crazy Stuff!

The predicted organized chaos living outside the courthouse footsteps soon became a circus in its own right. Many free concerts and religious ceremonies were fast becoming part of the landscape. One group calling themselves The Five Nations of Love held a mass wedding to convince the world that good can actually be created from such despicable acts of depravity! But in a an awkward moment, only minutes after the last of the marriages it was announced there would be an immediate divorce between one of the couples. Apparently due to a disagreement over the impending punishment to handed down to Tbone. One bemused media commenter suggested they should have asked the wedding vows of "Are you pro Death Penalty or against the Death Penalty?" Before undertaking a commitment for the rest of their lives! A series of "Tell All" books written by the people of Tbone's former life were quickly released in the hope of cashing in whilst being seen as an expert on all things Tbone!

As with most Court Cases of such a disturbing nature there is always a lighter side. One creative guy was doing a brisk trade by selling wax molded middle fingers wearing a skull ring "Be like Tbone and give the world your middle finger" A sentiment he repeatedly announced as hordes of people ran to him in the hope of purchasing a rare and unique keepsake of their visit to the trial of the century! Other entrepreneurs were selling all the usual forms of memorabilia such as t-shirts and masks. Some of the slogans were guaranteed to offend "Sick of being Vegan Try Tbone" or Test Your Sanity Try Texas Torture" (This particular example did not go over well with the locals) Unconfirmed rumors would have you believe that particular vendor now resides in another state for his own safety, if you know what I mean! One of the cruelest keepsakes on display as evidence for the court was the vast array of walking sticks. All in reference to the poor folk who lost lower limbs. They were all victims of Tbone's fascination with amputation without any assistance of anesthesia or any other form of pain relief.

Bad taste websites erupted up all over the Internet! Many were selling home torture kits or eBooks on how to get the most out your torture techniques! The FBI quickly closed down most of these sadistic websites. Only to see them re-opened on the dark web the very next day! More than one concerned public official stated the general public's lax attitude to the real story was somewhat alarming and disheartening at the very least. Whether this was his ultimate goal or not Tbone had somehow managed to gain a rising land swell of support? If for no other reason other than he was somehow now a much maligned celebrity and the story of the year! Even the re-emergence of a deadly Tsunami in the Asia region failed to take away the headlines from this case now being described as the original car crash "You can't help but look at it" An often repeated excuse that would fast become the justified motto of all curious onlookers! Some of the darker aspects of human nature were also on display and they were more than a little disturbing. It was later revealed one man outside the courthouse was arrested for trying to sell his children to the highest bidder. The sick sales pitch of "Do what you want with them, society doesn't care" would eventually be his downfall as inadvertently he asked an undercover Cia man if wanted to learn the best home torture techniques!

In Washington some crafty politicians identified this as their one big chance to cement all swinging voters to their party. Repeated slogans of "This cannot and will not happen ever again" accompanied many public speeches and parliamentary sessions of discussion. Enraged, most of the public reacted by immediately dis-associating themselves with these opportunistic parasites seeking advantage at someone else's misery. Spitefully it was soon brought to the nation's attention that America's previous generations of politicians had happily decided to do business with many of the very worst and sadistic torturers of American Prisoners of World War Two! A time of numerous crimes against humanity and the fighting men unlucky enough to become subject to their captors savage mistreatment and lust for pain! All under the general heading "For The Emperor" The wiser of the politicians accepted some subjects were absolute taboo and this was no doubt going to be one of them. Mankind will always find a way to let you down it sees. One of the more publicized aspects of this case was the claim by masked rebels that Tbone had acted out this way for justified religious reasons?

Sensing a divided public it was further claimed Tbone had become a devote student of Islam and that his "Work" was done for the fight of the downtrodden Muslim people! Upon hearing these claims Tbone quickly insisted that his legal team publically deny all association with any and all religious groups. In an unexpected twist this one action alone swung the vote to save him from certain death by nearly ten per cent! Behind closed doors the argument to save this monster from the Swap Option grew to unprecedented proportions. Incredibly many of his biggest detractors were losing sight of the real trial. Which was for the extended torture and killing of an estimated two hundred or so victims. Steadfast, Judge Rinehart continued to stay focused on the issue at hand and requested the prosecution move their case along at a faster pace so this media circus could be wrapped up sooner than later! Other than the defendants earlier statements relating to becoming a victim of society it was not expected there would be any further motions from the defense team. Amazingly without any real effort the swing against certain death had nearly reached twenty five per of the public's opinion! Rinehart knew there were too many distractions taking the attention away from the true essence of Tbone's heinous crimes. This farce of a trial had to finish as soon as possible for the counties well being!

All of the prosecutions witnesses except one had by now appeared. However it was the disturbing testimony of Raymond Belair that would finally convince not only the jury but the rest of the world of this monsters true guilt. Raymond was known as "Lucky Ray" due to the fact of nearly every one of Tbone's many victims had died over their time with Tbone except Ray. Incredibly Lucky Ray had managed to not only survive the many sordid daily nightmares but also apparently somehow keep his sanity up to this point. Of course it went without saying he would be permanently scared both physically and mentally right up until the day he died! Waiting to be called to the witness stand Ray seemed just like any other normal guy. He wasn't tall, he wasn't obese in fact he was what would be describe the as very incarnation or what would be considered the average sized human being. Most of the intrigued folk in the courthouse had never seen him before this day.

Finally summoned to the dock the many shocked attendees of the case against Tbone soon realized just how lucky Ray had been as he slowly rose up to testify. Although when a man is so crippled that every slow step produces a noticeable wincing grunt of pain it's hard to consider luck plays a part of it? It was obvious these burdened steps of the twisted up legs were the result of time spent with Tbone, no doubt a horrific time! Distorted steps eventually reached their destination as a hushed courtroom watched on while Ray was sworn in to give evidence. A fascinated silence fell over all the folk attentively looking on. After all formalities were undertaken Judge Rinehart simply asked "Can you do your best to describe your time as a prisoner of Tbone Tommy" Ray slowly nodded yes in acknowledgement but was instructed to verbalize his response. "Yes your honor I will tell you of my time with the monster they call "Tbone Tommy" Slowly surveying much of the room before continuing Ray took an extra second to stare into Tbone's dark lifeless eyes. The only part of his face not masked in leather. Once satisfied he had commanded Tbone's full focus he then began the arduous task of reliving his time in living hell!

Ready to speak Ray would now tell an attentive court of how he discovered first hand the reason why Tbone had acquired this strange nickname? Recalling the day they first met, Ray explained that it was Tbone's request for assistance that would be their initial contact. His van had run out of petrol in an awkward section of road and he needed another pair of hands to push it to the safety of the side emergency lane. As luck would have it for Tbone, Ray happened to be walking past at that very moment. Tbone steered and Ray pushed from behind until the van maneuvered its way to the safety of the curb. One thing that Ray found quite strange at the time was Tbone's insistence to keep pushing for another fifty feet or so? Why? The van was already in a safe position now! The request for extra distance seemed to make no sense? Exhausted, Ray was extremely grateful when Tbone finally yelled out "That'll do her!" Grasping for breath Ray hardly noticed when Tbone walked around the other side of the van to approach him from behind. Then with one agonizing thrust from Tbone, Ray would feel an ice pick enter deeply into his right lung! An action bending him over sideways just like when a car gets T-Boned and collapses in the middle!

Hours later Ray awoke to find him self being dragged out of the van into what appeared to be an abandoned factory of some type? Thoughts of resistance were futile as each and every breath brought on a level of pain never experienced before! This combined with the fact that his hands were tied behind his back meant he was now at the mercy of what only a short time ago seemed like a decent man needing assistance. Ray would never use the term "Decent" when describing Tbone again. The afternoon sun was setting fast at this point and it was difficult to make an informed judgment as to their exact location while being dragged into the darkness of the old factory's floor. Immediately one thing Ray did notice was that they were not alone. Strange whispers accompanied by moaning sounds seemed to resonate from every part of this unknown darkness. Overwhelmed by pain and anxiety Ray once more fell into unconsciousness. Later on a confused Ray woke again, except this time it was to the bone chilling screams of what seemed to be an old lady. All too soon, her agonized cries of pain returned him back to this unknown dark dilemma. Ray recalled how he could only vaguely guess the location of the person obviously suffering great pain due to the fact he was blindfolded and only just able to observe any form of light.

The shocked courtroom remained respectfully silent as next Ray went on to explain the position he was strung up in. It was against a cyclone wire fence panel seemingly supported by stands underneath. You could say similar to a portable welders curtain, except using cyclone wire instead of flash resistant materiel. His hands and legs were bound to the wire by zip ties. Because his arms were fastened above his head every breath would result in excruciating pain. Ray recalled purposely slowing down his breathing to alleviate some of the suffering! Chilling sounds of terror belonging to unknown destinies continued to resonate throughout the hidden darkness around him. During the course of the next day Ray would estimate a total of five different voices were also trapped in this hellhole with him? Except, they were surely experiencing something far more sinister than just a ruptured lung if disturbingly agonized pleas for mercy were anything to go by! Ray remembered how for a time he felt extremely grateful he was unable to witness the obvious atrocities inflicted onto his fellow inhabitants. Well aware his life had changed for the worse Ray knew the exact moment all the horrors of this torture factory were revealed to him, he would surely never be the same!

After what felt like about a day and an unsettling period of silence (other than the ongoing moans of the wounded) Ray heard the squeaky brakes of the van then realized his captor had returned. Shuffling noises of dragging feet accompanied Tbone's clear footsteps. It was obvious he had undoubtedly managed to acquire another victim! Familiar sounds of painful breathing combined with clanging metal sounds of the cyclone fence indicated a new neighbor being strung up just next to him. Soon after came a constant sobbing sound from the right of him. His worst fears were confirmed, this was indeed a madhouse! Ray desperately wanted to suggest to 'slow down your breathing' to alleviate the pain. However he would not dare to bring any attention onto himself. No, it was just too risky. The many movements of the clear footsteps around the premises indicated a very busy man was at work. All too regularly Ray heard the fresh screams of old and new victims all succumbing to the many and varied punishments endured! It was like this sick bastard actually enjoyed the random chaos of so many wounded souls all joined together in a choir of human misery. Ray told the captivated courtroom of how he had prayed to remain ignorant of all around him and for Tbone to leave that blindfold on him for good.

After a time much to Ray's absolute horror he identified the distinctive sound of clear footsteps heading towards his direction then stop. Next moment came one of the most frightening screams he had ever heard emanating from the poor soul strung up next to him. It was a woman unashamedly bellowing out cries of disparaging pain and obvious remorse as Tbone repeatedly inserted his finger into her recent ice pick wound! Reluctantly Ray recalled the enduring sobbing and relentless screams of despair after Tbone had finished inflicting his favorite party trick onto her. Ray also remembered the accompanying words of "He's Next!" Like a bolt of lightning anxiety shot throughout his entire body! Harrowing seconds later when no clear footsteps came his way a grateful Ray considered perhaps Tbone had been referring to the poor soul on the new victims other side? At this point all Ray could hear were the sounds of unrelenting agony combined with shallow breathing. Resulting in no real indication of where his abductor really was? Maybe this sick puppy had taken off his shoes just to mess with Ray's mind?

Not long afterwards much to his surprise Ray somehow drifted off to sleep. Then much to his dreaded horror he woke up hours later only to discover his one and only sanctuary of a blindfold had been removed! The factory was now dark and presumably abandoned for the night. Rays head desperately swung around in all directions trying to identify some form of location? It was soon deemed hopeless as the one and only skylight in the closed up building's roof did not provide enough light to indicate any features or true size of the factory? Ray now realized his mouth was tightly gagged and that calling out for help was not an option. He could only wait for the coming dawn to truly reveal all of the buildings hidden horrors. Ray told to the courtroom how he dreaded the new days arrival and that he knew there could only be a demonstration of unbridled evil on display waiting to greet him. Ray then went on to further state how he dared God to wake him up from this nightmare and to assist him in a life of goodwill if this current predicament could be reversed? A somber Ray quietly reiterated it was at this time he lost all faith in not only God but quite possibly all of humanity as well.

The new day's sun brightly entered the skylight above as Ray tried in vain not to acknowledge the many horrors surrounding him. Sadly it was all to no avail as now the woman next to him succumb to another bout of intense pain resulting in a series of heart breaking sobs asking for forgiveness and a return back to her family. Ray could not help but to open his eyes then look to the woman who's pain he had silently shared until now. "Breathe lightly and it wont hurt as much" He advised "You don't understand it's infected and I can feel the puss seeping out with each breath! I think he shoved something in there?" A tearful Ray told her to stay strong but knew if indeed this was true her time on this earth was sadly limited. Attempting to take his mind off the heartbreaking dilemma of the women to his right Ray began to observe all the mysteries of the old factory as they unveiled themselves to the new day. At this point Ray admitted to the hushed court that if he was already angry at God then the gut wrenching sight now on display would only further enrage his contempt! Shocked and disbelieving Ray would go onto count another thirty nine more victims of Tbone's macabre madness.

For Ray one of the most disturbing aspects to this whole twisted scenario was the fact that the entire factory floor appeared solely dedicated to the demeaning and breaking of the human spirit! On view were a vast array of medieval torture devices and many other associated tools of pain. To Ray it was a certainty that Tbone had practiced this evil undertaking for a long while, maybe even a decade? Such was the extent of machinery and tools all manufactured with the same intent, denigration then death! Rays crying eyes observed a tormented collection of bitter and twisted souls on display. Some were surely close to death going by their gaunt thin appearance. Some like him were perhaps still in reasonable health other than the dilapidated lungs they all shared. Aware of a foul odor Ray could not help but notice the toxic pool of seeping blood and puss gathering under the women next to him. In a battle of confused morals he pondered if he should actually be wishing a quick death upon her? Despairingly if she lived any longer there could only be extended misery and despair! Rays searching eyes continued to investigate all surrounding him. It was soon noticed each of the disposable victims were left to defecate and urinate where they resided. Until now he had somehow managed to hold off these bodily functions.

Perhaps the most deplorable on sight to all surviving victims of this twisted factory was the disturbing appearance of one poor soul who going by the resulting punishment surely must have somehow really somehow upset Tbone? Apparently this luckless man had inadvertently or purposely managed to get under Tbone's skin to such a degree he would be publically punished as a wicked warning to all. Looking noticeably unnerved Ray recalled how his disbelieving eyes focused on the slumped body of one particular man. This poor soul appeared to have been forced to walk around a pole with his exposed unraveling intestines attached to the same pole. "It was like some form of bizarre Mayfair Pole?" Ray believed he counted at least twenty five revolutions around the torture pole before this tormented soul eventually dropped dead. Ray loudly declared he could not begin to understand the pain and suffering involved or how another person even a monster could impose such a horrendous punishment onto another living entity? Be it man or be it creature?

Suffering shock from horrific scenes recently witnessed begrudgingly Ray noticed an uncomfortable warm feeling of urine seeping down through his pants. This was soon accompanied by the smell of feces gathering up in his boxer shorts. Ray recalled desperately trying to wiggle most of it out but soon realized it was a losing battle that all in this dire establishment had also once fought against to no avail. Spine chilling shrieks of terror quickly spread throughout the factory floor as more and more victims awoke only to find them selves remaining trapped within this nightmare! All around him unashamed weeping entwined with repeated pleas for forgiveness echoed throughout the building. Beaten and broken these human beings simultaneously prayed for hero or better still, a quick death. Surveying the vast array of different torture machines on display Ray regretfully concluded that for most of the poor folk trapped here death would surely be the preferred option. Just too much damage, both physically and mentally to rebuild! Broken bones and shattered minds can rarely be fully reincarnated back to "Good Health" After the initial shock of it all, Ray allowed himself some morbid fascination as next he studied the many varied apparatuses of this despicable trade.

Over the other side of the factory a collection a hand tools distinctly medieval in appearance caught Ray's attention. This was an eclectic collection of long prodding appliances. All designed to enter the body through a wound or perhaps an orifice then rip out the exposed organs via barbed hooks. Proudly on display were all manner of cast iron nightmarish implements just waiting to be called upon to assist Tbone with his darkened endeavors as required. Some appeared to be rusting or blood stained? It was hard to tell from Ray's distance away. Wooden winding handles and heavy chains instinctively adorned nearly all of these wickedly evil devices. Remnants of decimated bodies and ripped flesh were regularly feasted upon by hordes of rats! Plus the occasional snake or coyote brave enough to follow the smell of blood into the premises. Positioned in one corner an out of place burst of green suddenly caught Ray's full attention. Above it on a laid down section of cyclone fence laid a man spread-eagled across the full width of the section. Rays probing eyes knew something was astray but what? It was only after some further careful study he realized the green underneath was in fact bamboo with many sprouting storks protruding out from the man positioned above! It was impossible to confirm his status, dead or alive, heaven or hell?

Ray recalled how at about this time he watched a curious rat head over to his direction. He waited until it got to just below his legs and then with all his mite he began to shake his restricted body attempting to scare off the hungry rodent. It worked for now but Ray was well aware it would return and eventually figure out he was powerless to stop any further advances. A worried Ray considered more than just one rat would return and they would not be very interested in shit and piss when they could taste human flesh, his flesh! People were by now leaving the courtroom to either throw up or go to the nearby church and pray for mankind's salvation. As one person stepped out another quickly took their place to witness Lucky Ray's amazing story of survival. Judge Rinehart and the prosecution had felt no need to interrupt Ray's recollection up to this point. His vivid memories were more than enough to satisfy any curiosities. It was also possible that to further specifically question Ray may lead to information just too horrific to ever let go of? If not careful, his nightmares may soon become our nightmares? Many of the folk in the silent courtroom were surely also pondering this by now.

Over the next two hours Ray went onto explain even more of the despicable undertakings witnessed. Such as bamboo inserted underneath fingernails, eyes pried open with matchsticks for days upon end and the grafting of body parts. Cut off ears attached to the back of a hand or a big toe stitched onto the end of a nose! Ray distinctly remembered the heinous skin-to-skin torture as the monstrous Tbone loved to call it. A process where two open forearms would have the skin sliced off and then the two open wounds would be stitched back together. Meaning the recipient would either have to tear open the wounds to free their arms up or live with the two arms joined together for the rest of their short life. During his time Ray estimated at least twenty two or more victims were reluctantly imprisoned to the hell factory as he was calling it by then. Factory, house, establishment it really didn't matter because in Ray's eyes it all added up to a place called hell and far beyond. Sensing Ray's impending mental exhaustion Judge Rinehart asked if Ray could explain how he suffered his horribly disfigured legs? Tightly closing up his eyes while catching some deep breaths, Ray begin his torrid recollection of the events leading up to his permanent disfigurement.

"I had been there approximately two weeks when the women next to me finally died, sounds callous but I was grateful and pleased to see her nightmare come to an end. As soon as Tbone took down her lifeless body he replaced it with another! I think Tbone must have heard me whispering out loud "Dear lord not again" and decided to inflict some of his rage onto me. A sledgehammer was within easy reach and in no time at all he was viciously swinging it into my feet and legs while screaming out "Again! Again!" each time it stuck my shattered bones. It was the only time I had seen him appear to lose his cool? I think I counted eight blows to my legs and two to each of my feet. The pain was so intense I blacked out almost immediately. I can only just recall waking up where to my surprise Tbone was hosing out the factory. Perhaps some the local vermin were starting to consider him as part of the menu! It was at this time he decided to move into the factory and set up a bed in the middle of the factory floor. I couldn't say what Tbone's motives were other than to assume he wanted to be closer to his perverse work?"

Ray stated over a period of time less and less of Tbone's depraved actions would shock him. Basically he believed he had seen it all and although he felt empathy for each and every new victim, shock was no longer a factor. However the occurrence of open masturbation on his bed for all to see did unravel me somewhat! Especially when he blew his load into a tissue then walked the grounds deciding who's mouth to shove it into? Predictably it was always the last one to have back chatted him. If no one had spoken out that day he would go straight to the prettiest girl and yell out to all watchers "I aint no weirdo ya know!" At times it like this it was sheer madness and only added to my wishes for a quick death. Although it seemed that Tbone had other plans in store for yours truly? That's when he started to call me "Lucky" These days I think it must have been some kind of social experiment? Maybe it was done just to see how the others would react to my favoritism? Although I must admit I was surely grateful when he hosed all the Feces and urine off me.

Strangely if a man barely able to walk is considered a favorite then what can be said of the unfortunate souls that held him in contempt? Coming to end of his unsettling account Ray smiled for the first time as he recalled the sound of the approaching squad cars, finally salvation was here! Our collective prayers were at last answered! However in reality the fool hardy actions of the arriving police cars had alerted Tbone to their imminent presence. Acknowledging it was over he started to pour petrol and hydrochloric acid over many of the victims in an attempt to silence them forever! The pain inflicted to these open wounds must have been beyond imagination and far beyond comprehension to the average person. I still remember some of these wretched souls actually thanking him in the expectation their traumatic ordeal was finally concluding. Luckily or unluckily depending on how you look at it the police dogs brought him down before a match could be struck! The whole sickening affair was officially over! Tbone was in police custody and those that could be were instantly transferred to the local hospital. Sadly, some of the longer term residents died before any medical intervention could save them. Their wounds were just too badly infected and in some cases the gang green had spread too far to do anything other than make their last days more comfortable.

A diary discovered at the factory indicated this epitome of evil was in fact sold as a "Going Concern" to Tbone some eleven years ago. Only God knows how long prior to that this tarnished establishment had been operating for? Tbone has always insisted on his innocence! It is claimed he had only stumbled across the factory be accident while scoured the countryside looking for scrap metal. A laughable assertion when you consider he had tattooed his name onto the forehead of one of his flock as he sometimes called them! Add some Dna evidence at the crime scene and the fact that he had been filming all of his perverse daily routines there was an overwhelming case against him. The abolishment of the death penalty had given him some kind false confidence he would never really pay for his repulsive sins against humanity? Judge Rinehart thanked Ray for his honest and torrid account of what really happened to those poor folk unlucky enough to have ever crossed paths with Tbone. The Judge then informed the jury it was now time to deliver a verdict and that it must take into account all the many and varied forms of evidence. Including witness statements, evidence gathered at the crime scene and the fact that to this day Tbone has always denied any involvement.

The jury hurriedly left the courtroom and it was believed only the time taken to sign off all legal documents would be their only delay in returning. A short time later the predicable verdict of Guilty of all charges was officially returned! Amidst the cheers of all in the courthouse Tbone's lawyers leaned over to ask if he wished to lodge an immediate appeal? Tbone indicated he would not and was quickly returned to his waiting cell. Eager to bring this event to a conclusion Judge Rinehart called for a short recess while he prepared to hand out the sentencing. Half an hour later the packed out courtroom anticipated his return. He would not keep them waiting for long. Quick to thank all participants of the case and especially the victims for their bravery Judge Rinehart announced it was time for Tbone's sentencing "Today we will make history, today for the first time will enact The Swap Option! We will reincarnate the life of this criminal to that of something below human. He has shown no remorse, no accountability and no compassion towards the lives of the people he mutated and tortured! It can only be deemed his acts were undertaken due to a putrid and perverse fascination with pain and suffering" Judge Rinehart paused then continued on

"We are now in the position of having the science and technology to enforce a truly justifiable recourse of action onto the defendant. We shall with all our might follow it through! We will swiftly act on behalf of all the poor souls who have departed from this world in such an ungodly manner! We will decisively act on behalf of the people left to suffer the relentless nightmares as a result of their treatment by this monster! From this point we shall always refer to this man as a monster because humanity in its self cannot condone the actions of such a monster! It is deemed such acts of maligned depravity, could only be undertaken by a creature totally void of human existence or of human values! Only the creatures of hell and beyond could possibly understand or accept this monster's actions. We intend to take any remaining humanity away from him in the same manner he took away the life force of so many of his unfortunate victims! We are proud to deliver the following verdict. This heinous Monster Is Condemned To The Swap Option and may all who ever knew of him erase that memory"

Returned back to the courtroom Tbone was given one last chance to address the public. The leather mask restricting his speech was slowly removed. A silent courtroom waited with baited breath to hear a predicted last confession and accountability. It was time to atone for his numerous and atrocious actions towards his fellow man. The general consensus was that he would surely plead for mercy after finally admitting to all his wicked crimes. Finally the time had arrived as a remorseful looking Tbone leaned forwards to the microphone placed directly in front of him. Then, suddenly came the last words no one expected to hear "Life should be pretty interesting as bug, Bring it on! Bring it on! I Dare Ya" Enraged, Judge Rinehart ordered the immediate removal of this monster! He then declared the ground breaking sentence would be carried out tomorrow instead of the planned week from today. "Your time as a human is about to end!" In retaliation Tbone tried desperately to voice his bemusement, but he was denied the opportunity as swiftly the mask designed to restrict his ability to talk was once again attached to his face! Moments later the court officers dragged him out of sight from the public!

Infuriated with Tbone's callously bad attitude Judge Rinehart would spend the next five hours comprehensively rechecking all the legal and technical aspects of this new legislation. He would continue working until any and all requirements were strictly adhered to! Finally allowing for the mind boggling transformation of man into a bug! Satisfied he could find no flaws Judge Rinehart confidently announced to the patiently waiting media circus camped outside the courthouse the impending sentence will be carried out tomorrow. It was official, Tbone Tommy was now destined to live his remaining time on this earth as bug! Starting from tomorrow! Repulsed, a gathering of protestors tried in vain to voice their disapproval but it was all to no avail as united cheers of endorsement quickly drowned out this feeble verbal protest. In fact it soon became clear that if they continued the good fight. It may in fact turn out be them who will make headlines as the next big news story. "Mass Murder of the Protesting Do Gooders!"

Under heavy police guard the prison van exited the building then drove off in the direction of the nearby State Penitentiary. Once out of sight the van turned off to their real destination of Telescience Labs. The true location of where the unique criminal sentence would be carried out. Ready and waiting the high tech transposer capsules were being carefully prepared for the big day tomorrow. Judge Rinehart was most insistent there could be no mishaps with this new scientific punishment procedure. Subjected to the expected taunts of the guards during this short journey Tbone found himself amply amused at the barrage of poorly worded threats to his new existence. "We're gonna squash you like bug tomorrow, better watch out for that fly squatter" and so forth. It was all quite predicable, just not very clever. Less than an hour later they arrived. Strangely Tbone found himself somewhat calm considering his upcoming fate! The buzzing sounds of electricity, gadgets and machinery loudly echoed all the way to the front entrance! There could be no doubting this was a world where science and technology combined with electricity to create whatever its masters desired!

For Tbone the night went slowly as he tried with all his might to relive each and every one of his perverse atrocities. After all he may not have these hideous moments to relive when he is a bug! Tbone rejected the last meal offered in the knowledge the guards would have most likely spat or pissed on it anyway. Final fast hours rapidly became faster minutes as suddenly Tbone was then informed it was nearly time. In the observation room Judge Rinehart and other State dignitaries positioned themselves for the best viewpoint. Even though was thoroughly explained you could not actually see anything other than a blinding flash for approximately one millisecond. Still, they weren't going to miss a nano moment after the long arduous task undertaken to bring this monster to justice! All in the near full to capacity observation room could now hear approaching sounds of rattling chains. Tbone was at last taking his last final steps as a human being. However, the noisy sounds of Tbone's pending arrival were soon diluted by a loudly applauding audience of all currently on the premises. For just a short moment Tbone considered these to be sounds of admiration or even pity? But upon sighting Ray Belair he realized who was considered to be the true hero!

Abruptly standing to his feet Judge Rinehart sternly gazed towards a defiant Tbone. He then continued on with all the official statements of procedure until satisfied all requirements of this unique situation were strictly adhered to! Aware of the obligation to offer Tbone some form of last words to this world he now gestured to the watching audience to stay silent as Tbone prepared to speak. Bracing them self for an expected verbal tirade the audience prepared hands to be raised up to their ears. However, after a long slow stare at all the observers in the room Tbone simply said "Judge Rinehart you will not see me like this again" Surprised and confused? Judge Rinehart nodded his agreement as he took a moment to contemplate the way Tbone had shared these final subdued last words? Quick to shake off any lingering doubts Judge Rinehart gave the signal to proceed with the required sentence of lethal reincarnation! As all final adjustments and settings were made to the sending transposer Ray took the chance to ask Judge Rinehart what type of bug would Tbone be transformed into? "Oh that's easy son, he will become a spider so he can see all he lost eight times more than usual, brilliant isn't it!"

Faster than expected a multitude of warning lights began to rapidly flash. Without delay both prisoner and chosen spider were carefully placed inside the sending transposer capsule. All systems were then confirmed as ready for initiation, it was time! A smiling Judge Rinehart gave his nod of consent then in a bright flash of customized electricity and science it was all over. A hushed silence engulfed the audience as nervously they waited for confirmation of success from the receiving transposer capsule. Soon enough a more than pleased looking technician would poke his head out from around the rear of the capsule to confirm the missions success! Satisfied justice had been properly carried out the amazed audience rose to their feet in unison and loudly cheered. Even Ray Belair found himself suddenly caught up in this historic moment! One by one all attending dignitaries were offered the opportunity to view the glass container where a transformed eight-legged Tbone resided inside the capsule. It was a sight with nothing to behold, just a small black creature climbing the walls of its new jail. "A soon to be dead bug" remarked Judge Rinehart as he passed by.

After the last of the remaining dignities exited the Telescience building Judge Rinehart decided it was time to take a closer look at what modern science was able to achieve? Although as he entered the holding lab all he could see was what could only be described as mass confusion and panic! Reluctantly it was now revealed the glass container holding Tbone had inadvertently been placed back in amongst all the other assorted bugs and spiders. Amazingly no one had actually bothered to label his specific container. Outraged, Judge Rinehart forcefully slammed a closed fist down so hard that many of the glass containers bounced up off table only to smash upon impacting the floor below! It was pure chaos and Judge Rinehart was now adding to the confusion. Unwilling to accept what could only be described as major fuck up the angered Judge placed denying hands to his face as all around him frantic attempts to catch all bugs were underway! "Don't move Judge I think I spotted one near your feet?"

Wincing in pain by now a dismayed Judge Rinehart had enough! After all his ground breaking work, where the hell was the transformed Tbone? "Find them all and test their Dna until you know exactly which bug is that fucking evil bastard!" And with that one angered command the outraged Judge turned to exit the room. Then just at this moment an excruciating pain mysteriously struck judge Rinehart's midriff. Instantly curling him over to smack his head on the nearby bench top! Unconscious, the Judges limp body slumped down to the ground as concerned lab assistants tried desperately to resuscitate him! A few worrying minutes later the injured Judge was re-opening his eyes and on the way to recovery, although obviously dazed and confused. After some time taken to recuperate an aggrieved Judge declared him self ready to be taken home and insisted one of the police guards attend to this matter. The historic day's events had by now got the better of him and it was time to go home and reflect on the whole bloody mess! The journey back to the Judges house was mostly silent. Other than a concerned police officer regularly inquiring if they should be perhaps be diverting to the hospital instead? Wincing in pain the Judge appeared to be in complete denial of his current health status, noticeably unwell!

Thanking the officer for his genuine concern and assistance to his front door Judge Rinehart declared his wife would handle all nursing duties from this point forwards. Inside the house an unstable and staggering Judge requested assistance to the bedroom where he could recuperate from the days torrid events. Finally once laid down upon on his bed eyes were closed and the room slowed down its spinning motion. He would be ok after all, it was just a shock that's all! The rest of the night went smoothly as Judge Rinehart slept until dawn. A bright new morning had arrived and the Judge felt refreshed and as good as any other day, in fact he was extra keen to start this day! Fix all that rubbish up from yesterday and then move on, yep all is good. Breakfast in bed from a loving wife and then a quick shower. Foamed up, the Judge now readied himself for the daily shave. During the shower Judge Rinehart had noticed his belly button looked just a little swollen? Not to worry, back to the shave. The first swipe of the razor was taken and a little sting instantly stopped him in his tracks, strange no blood? Ok, no big deal, just keep going. With another swipe of the blade came yet another sting? This was all just a little strange so the Judge focused his vision on the mirror to observe the razors next swipe. Curiously just as he did so came the appearance of a hairy little black spider? Exposed, it hastily retreated back into the covering mass of shaving foam!

"What the fuck?" a bewildered Judge thought to himself as he wiped away all of the remaining foam. Peculiarly there was no visible evidence of cuts or little black spider legs? The weary Judge was forced to consider that he actually might not be at his best and perhaps he should not be at the courthouse while in this frame of mind? Smiling at the thought of a day off after all the commotion of the previous months the Judge happily nodded to himself in agreement. It was going to be a rare sick day! After all he had earned it, plus he really was just a little out of sorts. Before going back to bed he would take one last curious glance in the mirror at what was now an annoyingly itchy right eye? Looking into the mirror suddenly from inside the eyelid came the emergence of a hairy little black leg! This bizarre occurrence was followed by an onslaught of sharp stinging cutting sensations. Reacting to the pain a sympathetic hand quickly covered up the source of intense discomfort. Then much to the Judges growing dismay and without any prior warning the right ear experienced a similar burst of sharpened pain. The nearby hand instinctively moved back up to cover it!

Unbearable, the piercing constant pain to both right eye and right ear momentarily took the Judges breath away. Unsure of it all, his mind tried desperately to comprehend the true reality of this mysterious situation? Ultimately there was no other possible choice, meaning the right eye would now need to be opened up to investigate! Re-opening a seemingly undamaged eye a startled Judge suddenly jumped back as now an unrelenting steady flow of little black spiders swiftly exited an exploding right eye! Simultaneously came the unsettling sensation of hundreds of hairy little legs clinging to his right hand. Instinctively the hand pulled away from the ear, only to further expose even more of these hideous little black creatures! Curiously it was noticed this mounting array of tiny arthropods all displayed one strangely out of place quality? A pink head was attached to each and every one of their fury little black bodies! Unexpectedly came a surge of even greater pain to the left eyeball that by now was rapidly losing focus and experiencing increasing pressure from behind! Reflexed constant blinking only offered slight relief as an eerie feeling of tiny legs crawling upon the pupil now forced the panicking judge to hold the distressed eye open! Finding it increasingly hard to focus the horrified Judge finally identified the little pink face belonging to this tiny black spider.

It was Tbone! Who was now excitedly joined by a choir of tiny voices, all singing "I told you so, I told you so" Suffering from mounting pressure the left eye would soon violently explode wide open. Then from inside the destroyed pupil's remnants emerged another army of small black spiders! Exiting the last remains of an eyeball the arachnoids hurriedly began crawling away in various directions. Blinded shaking hands desperately tried to wave off the stinging retribution of these vengeful little creatures. Who had by now spitefully began to insert their venomous fangs deeply into all areas of uncovered skin. Over ten thousand hideous little spider voices of laughter accompanied Judge Rinehart's growing terror! Unable to tolerate this nightmare his aging heart finally stopped beating as his lifeless body fell to the floor. Within seconds a blanket of moving legs and hairy little bodies completely enveloped his remains! Amazingly Tbone had achieved the ultimate revenge and lived up to his final last words! Soon, after feeding, this swarming black mass of tiny spiders with pink human heads would begin the journey to Lucky Rays house!

### Warts and All

Rambunctious and rebellious, let's face it the teenage years are full of hormones, pus, blood and vomit! Oh and don't forget there's always plenty of acne! Of course you always need to stand by your friends no matter what, warts and all

"Hey Bobby that sure is a big wart on your neck!" Laughed Tom "It's not a wart, it's a pimple" Replied Bobby

"Well where is all the puss then? Where is it?" Tom scoffed out loudly

"It's a blind pimple, probably an ingrown hair" Said Bobby (sounding annoyed)

"Ah rubbish, it's a wart and it's really big! A cheeky Tom Taunted

"Lucky we are friends" Bobby replied in a lower mumbling voice

"Hey Davey checkout Bobby's giant wart!" Tom happily heckled

"Wow man, that's as big as a mountain, what's it called?" Laughed Davey

By now Bobby had enough of Tom and Davey's so called friendly banter as happily he walked away in the knowledge that one should pick his battles when it is more to his advantage! They were all good friends but more often than not it was two against one, with Bobby being the one. This was kind of ok with Bobby as he considered himself two times smarter than the others. So it was actually an even competition when you added it up that way. However Tom and Davey had the secret strategy of positioning themselves one to the left and one to the right of Bobby. They called it "Stereo Shit Stirring" Sometimes it was kind of fun to hear their attempted humor, sometimes it was not. Especially when teenage acne was involved! It's just a matter of timing really. Strike hard when the opposition has a face full is the secret motto! The simple truth is that pus and blood get no love!

Of course the world of teenage acne doesn't just belong to boys as frustratingly Jane, well knows. She is blessed with shapely body and great hair but sadly regularly succumbs to the dreaded acne attack. Even when she hasn't eaten chocolate for at least a week! Just like Bobby, Jane has a couple of friends who take extra delight in sharing unwanted critical views on acne. Especially when it is not theirs! Yep, Sharron and Debbie love to hang it on Jane's festering face. After all there's nothing wrong with a bit of spite is there? They like to think it keeps her level headed. Plus it just happens to make them feel a little bit better about their own less appealing looks. When compared to Jane or "Junk face Jane" as they like to call her while she is not within earshot.

"Hey Jane are you having your face period again" The two girls happily jeered

"When are you children actually going to squirt women's blood?" Retorted Jane

"Well this aint red paint in my paints" Laughed Sharron as she lifted up her dress to proudly reveal a fresh red patch on her knickers! However Jane was not one to miss a chance

"Looks more a like shit to me, did you put ya knickers on backwards, again?"

"Nah she just stole your panty's Jane!" A snickering Debbie cheekily added. Suddenly Sharron's jaw dropped

"Wow look at that whopper on your shoulder!"

An extremely happy looking Sharron commented while Debbie further added

"Shit that's the biggest fucking pimple I've ever seen, in fact I think it's a wart! It's a dirty stinking fucking wart for sure!"

Feeling a trifle irritated Jane was quick to declare "It's just another pimple, it's a big pimple, not a fucking wart!' Seeking to be anywhere other than with Sharron and Debbie, Jane looked over towards Bobby who was by now within earshot. Curious, Bobby couldn't help but wonder about Jane's defensive words? After all he had just basically said the same thing to his two equally annoying friends. Sensing the chance to start up a conversation Bobby soon cleverly suggested "They're just seriously jealous, besides their time will come" Then in what seemed no time at all he was comfortably seated next to Jane and sharing a few laughs. From all directions nearby Debbie, Sharron, Tom and Davey jealously looked on in disbelief. After all how could these two fester heads match up when the rest of us clean skins aren't getting lucky?

Secretly, Bobby had always possessed the red hot's for Jane and finally here he was successfully chatting her up! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and Bobby sure did want to be holding her. This sudden bout of severe acne was the perfect conversation starter and in no time at all they were happily sharing teenage acne advice!

"Hey Jane do wait for your's to really pus up before squeezing?"

"Nah, I think it's better to squeeze the gunk out the minute you know there's gonna be new one sprouting"

"I normally squeeze them so hard that I just end up with a face full of blood when I try all that preventive stuff"

"Yes I must admit more than once I have badly infected some of them by doing it that way, I normally end up with blood and pus all over me when I get it wrong"

"Yeah sure is a hassle when they start leaking all that thick red and yellow stuff, especially if it runs down your face and settles onto your chin"

"Strange to say but you still look pretty hot, even with a face full of acne!"

"Hey that's exactly what I was about to say, you charmer!"

"Isn't it weird how we both have such large warts, oops, pimples on our necks, maybe they will be friends as well?"

"Ha Ha, perhaps we can call them our pimple pets?"

"Hey you're a crack up, we should do something together sometime!"

Close by the others were pretending to dry wretch up vomit as they listened in on the charming conversation currently being shared by the new friends, Bobby and Jane. Whether the clean skins liked it or not the subject of bloodied pus laden pimples seemed to be a real conversation starter! The doors were now open for further "in depth" chats about pretty much anything. When you considered how well the subject matter of the first icebreaker went. Bobby sensed there might be some fun times up ahead and ended their first conversation with "Would you like to catch up soon?" Jane eagerly nodded her consent while dabbing at a newly festered lump erupting out from her smiling red blemished face. Thinking about the words just shared Jane was also rather certain something good was waiting on the horizon. Close by the fake vomiting continued as simultaneously the clean skins shook their heads in denial that a face full of fester could actually be a way to make new friends?

In anticipation of finally breaking his virginity and with teenage hormones excitedly darting all throughout his body Bobby proudly revealed he had a plan to get all the girls and boys together! Surely it was time to sample a drink from his father's fine scotch cabinet? Tom and Davey both nodded their sudden admiring approval in the hope that Jane would bring Debbie and Sharron along for the fun! It really would be quite a coup if Bobby could actually pull this off. Perhaps the girls were already planning something similar? Either way as long as they all got to blow their load it was going to be "all good" Over the next couple of days Bobby made sure he "accidently" bumped into Jane a number of times until finally he mustered up the courage to ask her and the girls around to his house. Attempting to seal the deal Bobby was quick to announce his parents were going to their cabin up country for the night. The house would be all theirs and he knew how to break into the scotch cabinet. By now Tom and Davey had picked out which girl to match up with, it was quite exciting!

The three girls were equally excited, although they tried hard not to show it. After all, you don't want to look too keen now, do you? It would be Debbie and Davey plus Tom and Sharron and of course the two pimple ridden fester heads Bobby and Jane, perfect! Not only were these teenager's virgins when it came to sex but also to drinking alcohol. This was going to be a real learning experience that would surely never be forgotten! Funny to say the closer to the big night the many splendid stories of past conquests and drinking sessions grew to be bigger and bigger! In fact if you were to believe all of these well exaggerated tales you would think these teenagers once lived as famous high demand porn stars and award winning beer testers! Apparently each one of these glorious storytellers would be going into the rendezvous armed with a world of experience that was only matched by their imagination!

With only one day to go until the big night both Bobby and Jane suddenly experienced their worst acne breakout for the entire year! Most probably, due to nerves? Without mercy thick pus and bloodied weeping sores had erupted to nearly every vacant patch of their skin! Blinders, double whoppers and wide-open seeping yellow oozing sores! Frustratingly each and every new blemish seemed hell bent on spoiling a great night ahead. Demonstrating their usual lack of compassion, predictably the clean skins eagerly weighed in with some playful if not spiteful commentary.

"Wow are you going to a horror show or a date?" Laughed Davey

"Bobby you do realize it's not a fancy dress night, now take off that hotdog with mustard and sauce costume!" A snidely smiling Tom Added

Nearby the giggling Sharron and Debbie happily threw in their two cents worth

"Hey Jane you just need some snot and you would be one with the lot"

"I see you're really planning to paint the town red all over" Yelled out Sharron

Enough was enough as simultaneously Jane and Bobby screamed out

"Shut the fuck up, just shut up!" Fed up, Bobby added a little bit more

"Tomorrow's gonna be a fun night as long as you shitheads can just try hard to shut the fuck up, for once.... please!"

In a grand pretense of regret Tom, Davey, Sharron and Debbie all sheepishly looked at each other then unashamedly burst out laughing! Seems that strong bonds can be made at someone else's expensive, including your friends. After a few more muffled snorts and snickers the boys and girls retreated back into their separate groups and dreamed of things to come. As far as Bobby and Jane were concerned the impending Friday evening's fun could not arrive and depart quickly enough. Strangely, after school although and separated they both suffered similar regular bouts of diarrhea followed on by frequent occurrences of foul tasting vomiting. Feeling nauseous and lying on his bed Bobby couldn't help but feel slightly apprehensive about what Jane would think of his deteriorating appearance? While unbeknownst to him over a Jane's house she was also suffering the exact same dilemma, acne, vomit, pus and diarrhea attacks. In fact things could not be worse for either of them! For the others the night's slumber went extremely well with all sleeping soundly while dreaming of their impending hot drunken sex!

Friday morning would see no improvement for the hapless Bobby or Jane. Reluctantly they each made their way to school in full expectation of some particularly nasty shit stirring by their so called friends. Undoubtedly it would be a barrage of degrading commentary aimed at diminishing any remaining traces of self confidence. Even though they would all share specially planned party time together later that night. Looking noticeably unwell Bobby and Jane arrived at the school's main entrance almost at the exact time. They simply looked to each other in begrudging acceptance of their luckless situation. For the others, the school day's study would drag out way too slowly for these would be party animals. Finally, after hours of vaguely attentive classes the day wound up and the home bell rang. Party time was officially now only a few hours away! For Bobby and Jane the predicted barrage of abuse by their friends was suspiciously toned down compared to the previous day? Perhaps the excitement of the nights scheduled rendezvous had finally taken some of the unwanted attention away from the "Fester Heads"

Exiting the school Bobby glanced over to Jane, simultaneously they each nodded silent consent to the night's upcoming entertainment. Even if not well, this was gonna be real fun and something to remember all their lives. "The night I got drunk and lost my virginity!" Yep, no matter how bad either one of these two teenagers felt, it was not going to dampen this evening's festivities. Davey and Tom continued to reassure each other with even more false stories of previous conquests and binge drinking sessions! Ignoring Jane as they left for the journey home Sharron and Debbie happily exchanged "Secret love making methods" To get the best out of their chosen dates. Of course they had never actually attempted any of these raunchy sex tips, but they sure did have plenty of fun searching for them on Google. This night was destined to be one big drunken bluff with the final result of everyone involved ending up with a real story to share later on.

Eventually the day's sunlight hours gave way to the waiting dusk then onto a full moon as from all directions the eager teenagers converged to Bobby's house. At last, this life changing party was about to begin! Yes, at last it was time to get totally drunk and fuck! Inside the house Bobby was especially pleased to discover his father had recently re-stocked the scotch cabinet. In fact he might even forgive Tom and Davey for all their hurtful acne based jibes from the past week? By now all three girls had met up and were on the verge of knocking on Bobby's door.

"Remember ladies don't spew up in the lounge room" Jane laughed out loud

"How about the kitchen then?" Sharron cheekily questioned

"Well maybe I should have brought a bucket along" Debbie added

Then as if from a perfectly written script Tom and Davey appeared out of the darkness to join the excited girls at the front of Bobby's house.

"Hey one extra girl, who gets her Tom?" asked Davey

"Um you might need to ask Bobby, remember he's got the booze" chuffed Tom

"Oh fuck yeah, sorry Jane I forgot about your fester head date" added Davey

Sensing it was time to take a stand on the apparent bad attitude of the others Jane happily explained her views on the night's upcoming events.

"Well Davey if there is a choice between fucking you and what's in the fridge's crisper, I think I'll go vegetarian, no offense" Stated Jane

"Ha Ha she's got you there Davey" Tom laughed out loud

"Aw shit, I don't want to fuck a fester head anyway, you and Bobby can share all that pus and blood. Leave me out of it!" declared Davey

Defiantly Jane wiped her middle finger onto the worst of her pimples then added a bit of snot out her nose then offered a one finger salute! Aimed directly at anyone seeking to add any more commentary, about anything! Besides, it was time to get inside and start drinking, let the fun begin! Just as they reached the party house's front door suddenly it flung open to reveal a laughing Bobby. Unbeknownst he had been watching all the mischievous banter and verbal jousting from behind the curtains in the front lounge room. He was quite pleased with the way Jane had handled her self!

"Hey as long as we all get a fuck is the main thing" Bobby proudly shouted out while now looking over to the main focus on his night's attention. Feeling no need to add anything further Jane simply nodded her silent consent. Finally, it was officially time to crack open some of that fine scotch! Positioned comfortably in the lounge room the demand for a shot of that fancy scotch abruptly came from all of the evening's participants! Undaunted, Bobby was quick to declare his bartender skills were up to the task.

"Don't worry, your order will take precedence over all overs, we aim to please!"

Bobby looked over to Jane, requesting some assistance with the pending order of fine scotch. Taking the hint Jane was more than happy to assist and gain some one on one time with Bobby

"Hey Bobby I am not at my best tonight, to be honest I don't really want to get drunk. I have been feeling really ill all day. As you can see I am pretty much just a face full of leaking pus and blood craters" Jane quietly shared

"Oh thank God, I feel your shame. For some reason I am also experiencing the worst breakout in years. It really pisses me off to think we have to have a shit night because of all this fricking acne stuff, it's just not fair!" sighed Bobby

"So what are we gonna do?" asked Jane as reassuringly she held Bobby's hand

"Don't worry too much Jane, I think I know what to do" smiled Bobby as he went about pouring four straight single malt scotches accompanied by two shots of iced tea (for Jane and Bobby)

"Here we go folks, here's your drinks" Bobby proudly presented to all

"About fucking time you fucking fester!" exclaimed Tom in an obvious attempt to impress the others in the room. Seconds later Davey also felt the urge to add an once of degrading criticism

"Hey we aint got all night you fester freaks!"

Stunned by the unwarranted attack on the night's host, Bobby stood back and suggested "We let's all have a great big skull for long lasting good luck"

All glasses were raised and false smiles were quickly shared "Down the hatch!" Moments later six empty glasses were slammed down onto the coffee table! Followed by bouts of coughing and splattering, all agreed "Ah that hit the spot" Of course one shot would not be sufficient to quench these young teenagers thirst, another offering was soon demanded. Not only by Tom and Davey but also by Debbie and Sharon. Seems these four really were a good match going by their unashamed bad manners! Bobby tried hard to appease all ongoing demands for hard liquor. Even though every round brought on even more degrading and abusive commentary.

"Bobby what the fuck are you doing man, we need a drink and don't put any acne pus juice in it this time!" Davey rudely requested

"That goes for you too Jane, we don't want any of your acne juice either" Sharron proudly boasted to all in the room

It was fast becoming obvious these visitors were getting beyond reasonable and rational. After all it was Bobby that was supplying this bunch of so called friends with some fine quality liquor, and for what? To suffer their devious torments solely aimed at impressing each other. No, something was wrong here and Bobby felt an urgent need to fix it.

"Hey guys you really are a funny bunch, what with all that stuff about acne juice, pus and blood. I think we all need to chill out a bit and have a real drink so we can get back to what tonight is all about" Bobby strategically suggested.

Surprised at Bobby's magnanimous good will, considering he was the victim of all these verbal attacks Jane went onto ask "Are you ok Bobby?" quick to reply Bobby happily stated "Never better" As now he rose to his feet to make a real drink for these so called friends. In the kitchen Jane was soon by his side as Bobby went about constructing four of the most potent cocktails his imagination would allow for. Each of these distinctly toxic elixirs would contain a minimum of ten different elements! Scotch, tequila, Irish cream liquor and other assorted hardcore mixers. A mischievous concoction of alcoholic spirit based liquors never designed to be mixed together as just one beverage! Delighted with the result Bobby bestowed this wicked drink the title of "Rocket Fuel" Because there was no doubting it would send you up into space! Or at the worst finally shut you fucking assholes up! For Bobby and Jane their chosen drink of choice would simply consist of cola cordial and milk. Conveniently this was exactly the same in appearance as the dreaded rocket fuel.

Arriving back in the room where the eager drinkers awaited Bobby proudly held aloft a tray of drinks purposely designed to cause mayhem with one's mind. Greedy hands impatiently reached out before Bobby could even announce the chosen title of his famous cocktail. However Bobby was not going to just let this magnificent moment of revenge disappear in one second. Surely, there would have to be a grand toast to celebrate this night's successful festivities! After all how often to you get to share such a momentous occasion with your friends. Drinking all you can and losing your virginity!

"Ok gang here it is, the very best drink in the world. The epitome of alcohol and I want to share with all my good friends!" Bobby proudly boasted as Jane looked on.

"Hey just give me the fucking drink Mr Feaster" Demanded Tom as once again he sought to impress the room's drunken audience.

"Hey relax friend, here's your very own batch of Rocket Fuel, I truly hope it takes you to where you want to go"

As now Bobby proudly made his offering available to the nearby reaching hands of his friends. Jane glanced over to the other girls then suggested they all drink it up quickly after Bobby's toast.

"Well it's been one hell of a night so far and I think this just might top it off nicely! Oh by the way there are plenty of spare rooms for your privacy, if you know what I mean. So bottoms up and then go fuck!" Unexpectedly, for the first time during the evening Bobby's guests behaved in a reasonable manner as each added the word of "Cheers" A short time later the full wrath of the Rocket Fuel landed. Queasy, Davey tried hard not bring it all back up! Nearby Sharron burped and spurted out incomprehensible words of God knows what? Confused senses found Tom frequently jumping and down in the hope of his Rocket remaining in orbit! Overcome by the warm rush Debby's head slumped to between her knees as similar noises to that of Sharron emerged from somewhere within? On the other side of the room Bobby and Jane put on a great performance of drinkers regret! Although the cola and milk was kind of tasty! This clever ruse could not have gone better as second by second the others in room noticeably deteriorated into a jibber jabbering mess of teenager regret.

Collectively hands were placed on foreheads in the faint hope of halting the constant spinning effects of Rocket Fuel. For Bobby and Jane the moment called for a bit of fun based theater on their part. Regretfully they too moaned and groaned in unison with the other Rocket Fuel drink participants. It was really hard not to laugh out loud as each false moan and groan nearly gave away the ruse. One thing was for sure, if shared experiences are a good foundation for a relationship, this a great start for Bobby and Jane! Once more, just for fun they attempted to bluff away their version of the full effects of Rocket Fuel. Wisely sensing the need for impending vomit relief Bobby hastily searched for a bucket to catch all regurgitated remnants of his revenge based concoction. In fact he felt it might be prudent to supply two buckets to the room! Just in case an epidemic of rejection began to spread? After all, not everyone can handle his or her hard liquor like Jane and Bobby! It would soon be time for the chosen couples to retreat to the bedrooms.

"Do you guys need a hand?" asked Bobby in full knowledge they couldn't possibly walk anywhere without his assistance!

"Oh fuck yeah, I am so wasted" Tom mumbled as his head feel into Sharron's lap

"Yeah, we sure could use a hand to the bedroom" Sharron quietly whispered

"Hey don't forget us you fucking fester" slurred Davey

"Jane, a little help please" Demanded Debbie in between dry wretches

Bobby rose to his feet while sharing a sneaky wry smile with Jane as they helped the four incoherent drunk teenagers to their chosen rooms. Before long Bobby and Jane would at last be able to enjoy some quality time to themselves. It would be a nice reward for not getting totally wasted like the others. In a strange turn of events their savage acne attacks had now allowed for a truly great night to eventuate. In quick time, Tom and Sharron and Davey and Debbie were placed onto chosen beds with spew bucket placed nearby. Finally the moment had arrived for Jane and Bobby to explore each other and start making some memories! Before closing the bedroom door Bobby took one last look up the hallway. He could only hear constant moaning and groaning of Rocket Fuel recipients. None too fussed, he assessed that at least they haven't choked on their own spew! By now a smiling Jane was waiting on his bed, it was officially time to lose their innocence.

Excitedly joining Jane on the bed Bobby happily found himself fully immersed into the moment as awkwardly they swapped badly timed wet sloppy kisses. Hands enthusiastically searched for the private parts of each other's body. Outer layers of restrictive clothing were swiftly unbuttoned then unceremoniously discarded. Feeling the heat, Jane continued undressing until only her bra and panties remained. Slowly she would now undress a sweating Bobby until he too was only in underwear. Constant words of reassurance were shared as the two novice lovers explored each other even further. Bobby clumsily caressed Jane's breasts then moved his hand down to her panty area and began gently rubbing as Jane moaned her approval. Hot steaming passionate embraces would soon lead to Bobby maneuvering himself above the waiting invitation that was Jane. Over confident of his sexual prowess Bobby began thrusting away in the belief he was close to entering Jane's vagina. At this point Bobby's highly excited teenage hormones were ready to explode! Then just as quickly as it had started suddenly it was all over. A few deep breaths later a confused Bobby asked Jane if they had actually done it? Jane knew she had experienced something special but remained unsure if in fact they had indeed "Done it?"

Further up the hallway in the other bedrooms a completely different scenario was currently taking place. Loud frequent drunken complaints would all blame the world for the many ongoing cases of "She just spews everywhere" and "He's still got droopy dick" Plus the regularly repeated concern of "Why, why is the room still spinning so fucking fast? Make it stop!" All of which would then be followed by the abusive blanket statement of "Fucking festers, it's all your fault, you fucking festers!" However for Bobby and Jane all these spiteful comments and complaints went completely unnoticed. For these two young lovers, so far it was the best night of their lives!

Confused and unsure of the actual success of the mission to lose their virginity Jane would now kiss Bobby then request to make love again. He was only too happy to oblige her request. Within the darkness of the room Bobby slowly set about feeling Jane's body all over while adding gentle kisses to her lips and forehead. Feeling more at ease this time around Jane responded by sharing deep passionate embraces. Soon after the couple agreed to go to the next step and really lose their virginity. This night felt just so right, the time was now, plus they genuinely cared for each other. It was the perfect scenario to enter into each other's hearts and minds and of course body! Slow soft all over touching continued on as increasingly the two lovers became so aroused there could be no stopping now! Overwhelmingly lost to each other there were no second thoughts in regards to cosmetic imperfections or skin appearance. A stipulation that was apparently very important to their drunken friends just down the hallway. Believing it was time Bobby would properly enter Jane's welcoming body and begin to gradually thrust his love into her.

Sensual slow rhythmic motions grew to a fast steady pace as further and further they succumb to the lust of the moment. Bobby groaned as simultaneously Jane sighed the closer to climax they edged. Surrendering to the moment, all inhibitions were easily lost as let their minds fully embrace this one special experience. Curiously, emanating from each and every inspired thrust strange pulsating forces grew strongly from within! Even for these two inexperienced virgins these wildly intoxicating sensations indicated something beyond normal was unfolding? Inexplicably somehow these young lovers were simultaneous experiencing weird bursts of an out of body energy boldly discharging into the room. Intrigued by the unimaginable situation at hand, eyes quickly opened as much to their surprise each new sexual thrust created a stream of yellow reddish light. Strangely exploding out from all the acne blemishes on both their bodies. Unexplained, the relentless bursts of light would only continue to grow stronger and stronger as closer and closer to climax they edged!

Suddenly the room began to permeate with a vile smelling stench normally associated with the infected blood and pus of severe acne. The sickly odor was overwhelming but not still strong enough to put an end to the night's mission. Meanwhile up the hallway, came even louder cries of despair. Disturbingly each agonized scream seemed to coincide with every thrust of the inspired couple's love making. Back in Bobby's bedroom the pulsating light grew stronger and brighter! In conjunction the pungent stench invading the room began became so potent it would nearly take Jane and Bobby's panting breath away. Aware he was getting close to climax Bobby began to thrust harder with all his might. In unison with bobby's rapid movements Jane screamed her adoring approval. Although puzzlingly the loudest sounds in house were now coming from down the hallway? Originating from both bedrooms for reasons unknown came the tortured cries of Davey and Debbie plus Sharron and Tom. However as disturbing as they were, it was not yet loud enough to stop the climax evolving in Bobby's bedroom.

The time to finish was fast arriving as the lost in the moment silent lovers continued to ignore the unbearable screams of pain from down the hallway. It just didn't matter what was happening to the others. This night was about Bobby and Jane and their coming together! Final hectic thrusts increased speed as the light emanating from their acne ravaged corpuscles and capillaries increased to bright blinding levels. In conjunction to this unusual happening the associated stench now grew to beyond tolerable levels. Meanwhile back down the hallway echoed twisted cries of pain continued to grow louder and louder as finally Bobby felt the fluids boiling within begin to release their pressured load. Jane clenched tightly in the knowledge this event was reaching its dramatic climax. Then as if instructed to verbally join in to loudly celebrate the loss of Bobby and Jane's virginity came the loudest spine chilling screams of the night from down the hallway. Bobbly was unloading into Jane as suddenly they both simultaneously experienced an unprecedented blinding explosion of multi colored red and yellow tainted lights from within!

Exhausted, confused and elated the couple fell into an exhausted slump! It was only now gratefully noticed the unnerving screams of terror from down the hallway had finally subsided back to silence. Tonight, not only did they lose their virginity but also they had truly found each other. This was going to be their destiny and not just a one night stand! Shortly afterwards as they lay together in the dark Jane asked if Bobby had noticed how strangely the others were finally very quiet, perhaps even sleeping? The timing did seem a little odd considering the volume of abuse emanating from both rooms only just half a short time ago! Bobby happily reassured Jane that the Rocket Fuel had finally taken its toll and that at last the other two couples were surely burnt out and sleeping it off. As the morning's light hit Bobby's bedroom he awoke to a new sensation he could only describe as purity. By his side Jane was also quick to awaken, she would also experience a new unknown sensation of joyful content. Curious about these strange new feelings they eventually put it down the previous nights exciting events.

Bobby softly kissed Jane while explaining he needed a bathroom break and would be back soon. On the way to some much needed bladder relief Bobby soon noticed both bedroom doors down the hallway had been left open? This seemed a little peculiar and he couldn't help but to sneak a peak as he walked past the first of the two bedrooms. Stopping dead in his tracks Bobby was suddenly confronted by the absence of Davey and Debbie? More disturbing though was the appearance of the room's condition. On display were blood stained walls combined with yellow soaked curtains and bed sheets adorning what appeared to be two huge piles of shit? A harsh pungent stench menacingly emanated out into the hallway, as if to warn Bobby he dare go no further. More than happy to oblige the dark scented warning Bobby stepped back away from the doorway to investigate the next bedroom. As he cautiously approached the second doorway he was again alerted to the pungent warning of no entry!

Overcome by unrelenting vomit inducing odors Bobbly held his nose then quickly surveyed the room. Disturbingly he would observe a mirror image of the previous bedroom? Blood splattered walls and yellow vile smelling stains once again combined with piles of fresh shit to create an indescribable appearance. Feeling nauseas and overwhelmed by it all Bobby ran back to his room to warn Jane not to leave the sanctuary of its confines. Something out the ordinary was definitely happening down the hall, but what? Uncertain of it all Bobby would do his upmost best to shield Jane from whatever it was! Finally back in the room Bobby shared his unsettling experience much to Jane's disbelief. Then at this very moment it hit Bobby, Jane's appearance had somehow dramatically changed? Miraculously the destructive acne that had scarred her face for most of her life was completely gone? Amazingly her skin now resembled that of a new born baby! It was soft smooth looking and distinctly glowing. In fact there was not one visible blemish! Incredibly Bobby could not identify one visible flaw! Astonished, it was at this point Jane also became aware of a spectacular change to Bobby's appearance. A change so exciting, no words could possibly describe such a significant transformation!

Elated but also thoroughly dumbfounded by this unforeseen event the unexplained troubles of the others down the hallway would be momentarily forgotten. Frozen in deep mutual admiration. Mesmerized by each other all Bobby and Jane could do was to look forwards to each other. Although unspoken, the word "Perfection" was the only adjective that would come to their minds. Moments later this pair of "Clean Skins" found themselves simultaneously enduring a similar pain to top of both shoulders? This was a sharp digging pain, so strong that it nearly curled the couple over in unbearable agony! This sudden occurrence instantly took their breath away as next two large lumps similar in appearance to an angry boil appeared on both Bobby and Jane's shoulders. On the left and on the right these painful purplish red mounds of flesh continued growing until a height of nearly two inches tall. Although suffering intense pain Bobby found himself inexplicably drawn to Jane's shoulder, attempting to pop open one of these unusual lumps of flesh and moisture.

However just as he reached out to alleviate Jane of this strange new burden to her otherwise perfect skin came a sight sending him backwards in total disbelief. Each lump on Jane's shoulders surprisingly revealed the presence of a miniature face! Unbelievably, one was Debbie and the other Davey? To make matters worse they each appeared to be angrily screaming out their disapproval of the whole situation. Looking back at Bobby for Jane the exact same scenario was playing out. She now also recognized two familiar faces hidden within the fluid based lumps on Bobby's shoulders. Much to her disbelief, they were the noticeably pissed off faces of Tom and Sharron! Even more perplexing was the fact that all these boil based face lumps were repeatedly screaming out the same two words? Flabbergasted by this mind boggling turn of weird vents Bobby and Jane curiously studied these angry little lumps until finally Jane blurted out the words "I know what they're saying, I know what they're yelling out! It's... Clean Skins! Over and over again" Realizing Jane's assessment was correct Bobby simply smiled and then laughed out loud... "At least we know the names of our pimple pets!"

### Jack Ugly

A crippled life can be extremely cruel, survival can be worse

In the Dna lotto of life some folk are just born lucky and unfortunately some are not. So if fate has decreed that your name is to be Jack Ugly and you are inflicted with two highly noticeable physical deformities. Resulting from debilitating diseases such as Jacobsen Syndrome (genetic disorder) and Jarcho Levin Syndrome (twisted spine) It's a fair guess to say you will be easily placed into in the latter category. Plus throw in the quirky fact that your parents (Johnny and Julie) who purposely purchased the house at 10 Jefferson Street in Jackson, Mississippi seem to have something strange going on with the letter 'J' Well you're really gonna standout! Then if that's not irregular enough you also have three beautiful sisters named Jessica, Justine and Jenny. Yep, there is no doubt about it, everybody knows when the Ugly's leave the house for a Sunday family stroll with their Jack Russell dog named Junior. Sometimes the Ugly's enjoy a Sunday family drive in Johnny's old Jaguar motor car. A vehicle that was basically only purchased because of its first letter, which of course is 'J'

It is the year of 2027 and in a world full of so many unimaginative people it would be very easy to be lumped with the nickname of 'J' However with a second name comprising of such a tainted word as "ugly" You know it's not gonna take long for the kids in class to latch on to it and then keep reminding you of it for the remainder of your entire miserable school life! All the way from early learning right through to college, if you happen to be able to endure the constant ridicule and predicable torments to get that far? It's a given that someone will always be there to remind you of not only what your second name is but what it also means! In this perfect unforgiving world of beautiful people and all its mindless hangers on. Being noticeably different is truly a harsh solitary existence! Well before he was old enough to understand the meaning of the adjective word of 'ugly' from the earliest days of his existence Jack Ugly discovered the cruel ironies of human life. Constantly teased and taunted Jack eventually became aware he was not only ugly by name, but also ugly in appearance. A sad fact all his cruel fellow classmates all too regularly reminded him of.

Every awkward morning in the bathroom while preparing himself for school Jack would experience the same recurring despair to that of the previous morning's ritual. Frantically he squeezed away at his distorted red festering skin attempting to rid himself of yet another annoying bout of unrelenting acne scars noticeably starting to pile up again! Frustratingly they always appear on top of the previous batch he had only just freed himself from a couple of day's prior. Plus there was the unpleasant issue of the constantly dribbling tear ducts, slightly protruding from his odd looking widened eyes! All too often without any warning his tear ducts maintained the ability to just turn themselves on like a high-pressure tap. Unfortunately this sometimes went unnoticed until he felt the sensation of a warm fluid uncomfortably running down his reddish cheeks. Jack absolutely hated all the predictable teasing associated with that particular ailment. Especially when his aggravated tear ducts became infected from the frequent rubbing and dabbing to abate the salty stream of water flow. Who could blame him? Because once this infection fully set in came the off putting appearance of either blood or puss or worse still, both! It really was no wonder that his nervous twitch seemed to be only getting worse and worse as time went on.

Here he was, the luckless Jack Ugly at age seventeen in what should have been the best days of his life. However he truly was quite lonely, always dreading the thought of what each unwanted brand new day would bring to him? Stoically Jack tried hard to stand tall and be brave, but its dam tough when you have a congenital defect such as a twisted spine! The pain involved as you try your best to stand up straight soon sees the end result of a forced return to the familiar old slumping position. His other prominent affliction of a shortened left leg gave Jack no option other than to display a distinctly noticeable limp. To the point that the mean spirited kids at high school were sometimes at a loss as to which degrading nickname to tease him with? 'Hey Igor, Frankenstein needs you back at the lab for some more experiments' or maybe 'Hey puss face my car needs a grease and oil change, are you available after school' Then there were the comparison taunts such as 'What's the difference between you and road kill? One can be used for pet food and it aint you!'

Oddly, the one thing Jack liked about the harassment endured during the high school years was that at least the taunts were slightly more sophisticated. When compared to mindless teasing and humiliation unwillingly suffered during the earlier schooldays of childhood. He truly could have been forgiven for going totally 'POSTAL' upon hearing 'Ugly Jack Ugly Jack You're So Ugly, Jack Ugly' one more time! Particularly annoying, that childish rhyme stayed with him all and the way from early learning through to elementary school then into part of middle school. All too often a number of mindless individuals chose to join in the chorus of this repetitive chant! Misguided by the belief they were providing quality entertainment for the watching masses of other school kids. This was one of the few taunts Jack actually chose to respond to through his awkward sounding wet lisping voice 'Oh very good, I never heard that one before ... you are just so original' Prior to school each day the dreaded morning ritual of self assessment in the bathroom was never easy for Jack. One of his three spiteful sisters would be guaranteed start his day off with some unprovoked form of cruel verbal tirade. Normally done while impatiently waiting for him to finish his daily grooming duties.

There was only one redeeming feature of time spent each morning in the bathroom preparing for another predictably horrible day at school. Just as all seemed totally lost? Jack would begrudgingly smile his spectacular perfectly white teeth to the mirror. This was done in acknowledgment that he truly had attempted to make himself as presentable as possible, considering all the contributing factors to his vastly unconventional appearance. Jack had never used the word 'hideous' when contemplating his looks but many others had! In fact he could still vividly remember years ago when up the local mall with his parents one time. Susanne York, a young girl genius of four years old verbally assessed him to be a 'hideously malformed example of a mutated human being' To say Jack was thoroughly dumbfounded at this harsh yet educated appraisal by such a young individual would indeed be an understatement! However it was probably the response from his parents that really stuck in his mind as much as anything else. Astonished he watched on as they tried to appease the apologizing girl genius's parents 'Oh you don't have to be sorry. He knows he is not right, his mind is quite ok, it's just his body is totally out of zinc with the rest of us. We are sorry for startling your daughter'

Some things really do stay with you for life it seems the hapless Jack sadly discovered. Such as the recent job assessment day where his parents suggested he should try for the career path of Janitor. Basically because the career title started with the letter 'J' Plus he could probably leave the education system and start straight away! Imagine that a horrified Jack thought to himself. Working as a janitor in a job his out of touch parents would probably organize for him. Most probably at a school of some sort where he would undoubtedly be teased for the remainder of his miserable life! No, not likely Jack Ugly thought to himself. Regardless of all the cruel teasing, Jack always promised himself he would stick out the high school years. Until he could figure out what to do with his mangled body after the educational part of his life concluded. Slightly resentful, Jack never openly spoke of the secret jealously he harbored towards all three sisters in his life. Knowing full well they would all eventually get married then lose the stigma of their socially unacceptable family name really did bug him somewhat. They were all actually quite pretty. Presumably it was just a quirk of life they had ended up with such an oxymoron as a temporary life title until predictably changed by marriage.

For Jack, there was always the depressing thought of "I will be stuck with this disturbing title for the entirety of my days" He was callously destined to be Jack Ugly by name and Jack Ugly by nature! Life is really cruel sometimes, quite often to the people in this world who just don't deserve it! After all what had the odd bodied individual named Jack Ugly done to anyone? Other than to be born outside the boundaries of what a highly critical society cruelly deemed to be normal? Jack once read the following in a biology book. "They say you should never be harsh on yourself because at the moment of conception, out of all the thousands of sperm instinctively striving to reach your mothers eggs first to impregnate them. It was you who was the ultimate winner! It was you who won the most prestigious race ever! The prize of life while the thousands of second placed sperm just faded away into obscurity then become human waste product. Destined never to achieve the glorious prize of human existence! Yes you are the winner in the race for life and never forget that!" Funny thing was not once in his time had Jack felt like a true winner at anything?

Jack tried hard to remember that particular turn of phrase, especially when he was feeling down. Which regrettably for him was basically every hour of the waking day! Just look into the mirror then proudly show off that perfect set of teeth to cheer yourself up. This was the golden rule of thumb for all those unavoidable heart breaking moments of the day. Such as the morning bathroom ritual or any other daunting task involving honest and undeniable self assessment. His stranger than normal father Johnny was always present. But he was obviously disappointed in the way life had turned out for the only boy in the family. His son Jack would never be able to do all the important "J" things in life. Such as jogging jumping, juggling or even Jackhammering. Heck with Jack's prominent lisp he couldn't even get a job singing jingles! Ashamed, Johnny felt the mangled up mess that was his son, sadly was not fully aligned with the letter "J" Johnny felt quite certain Jack would gradually fade away into the obscurities of a solitary crippled life. And to think when Julie was pregnant a jubilant Johnny held such high hopes for Jack! Such as working on the Jury Board of the Justice Department! (A very respectful 'J' based Job)

All of Johnny's grand aspirations for his new son were quickly abandoned the instant he and wife Julie discovered the harsh reality of their new infant's abnormalities. Looking to her distraught husband Julie reassuringly told Johnny their three daughters would be Jazz Singers or Jewelers and possibly even throw the Javelin in the Olympics! Then if that did not work out they may even start their own Jaffle House or Juice Bar. Julie reassured a despondent Johnny that there were plenty of opportunities for the letter "J" and the Ugly's! Although unsatisfied Johnny felt a certain reassurance in her words, sternly vowing to concentrate on the girls from that point forwards. Infant Jack's life was basically over before it had even begun? To think, how easily it was determined he would never be offered anymore than a healthy meal accompanied by the occasional display of false affection! Once this harsh parenting decision had been unanimously agreed upon. There would be no hopeful searches for cures, relief or advancements in treating his numerous physical conditions. Cruelly his bleak future had been predetermined from the time of leaving the womb!

Curiously all the normal associated guilt of passing on such genetic aliments were never once contemplated by his quirky self obsessed parents? Together, they had unknowingly combined at Jack's conception to pass on a myriad of mutated genes. They shared a collection of damaged genes responsible for creating some of human societies most unwanted medical conditions! Genes that many of us in fact do possess but never come across the carrier needed to instigate the physical disfiguring mutations when the formation of the baby fetus comes about. Lost inside a distorted body here was their recipient Jack Ugly! Soon to miraculously graduate from the heartbreaking high school years into a scary unknown and unpredictable future. Here was Jack, destined to be placed somewhere within society's boundaries of what was deemed "acceptable" Most likely by an uninterested counselor. Even the associated physical demands of a low prestige job such as a janitor would soon rule him out from even contemplating that as a working life option.

In another harsh twist of fate, during the final year of his schooling the letter "J" was to cruelly inflict another bout of indignity to Jack's already malformed body. Despairingly he was now subjected to an onslaught of Juvenile Diabetes, Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis and Jaundice! Unconfirmed, it was believed he possibly also suffered from Joubert Syndrome (malformed brain) Identified by his ever growing big toes and the associated stranger than usual eye and tongue movements. This complex multiple mass of confused genetics made it extremely difficult for the doctors at the free clinic to successfully diagnose many of his recently established new conditions. These newly appearing ailments required further comprehensive consultations that his obviously begrudging parents quite often fashionably arrived late to! Possibly done to purposely shorten the doctors valuable time? Unbelievably every time Jack built up the courage to make a vocal protest regarding his parents blasé attitude towards these important appointments. His tongue would begin to spasm and swell up, leaving him speechless!

Each and every time a repeat protest was planned his twisted body suspiciously conspired against him, leaving him with just an exacerbated glare. Ultimately failing to achieve the required display of disapproval of their actions. Perhaps it really was true? Destiny had long ago decided his fate would be a plethora of drawn out meaningless episodes of life with nothing left to aspire to other than succumbing to an ever increasing series of merciless medical dilemmas? All of which that would then followed by an early death! Although the problem with a premature demise would be that as Jack's upcoming graduation would attest to, his thought process being basically intact. He was mentally competent other than some rare seizures caused by various benign brain legions. Jack was seeking to continue the journey of life, no matter what obstructions or hurdles were put in place to try and force him to falter! Jack Ugly's active mind contained the same thoughts as any other adolescent schoolboy's thoughts. To make things even worse Jack felt destined never to experience his first love during the high school years?

Jack sometimes allowed himself to secretly dream of spending time with some of the more salubrious examples of the female students. Of course he dare not look face to face at any of them! In case there was unwanted leakage from one or either or both of his slightly widened awkward eyes. There would be no High School romance for Jack Ugly or so he thought. But life can be strange as the surprise midyear arrival of an Italian foreign exchange beauty named Janita Jovino demonstrated. She arrived only six months before graduation and would give Jack his first indication of what it was like to experience unexpected emotions, commonly known as a 'school boy crush' Amazingly this foreign beauty actually chose to spend some time with him! While continuing her already acclaimed studies and strong interest in scientific medicine. Through the online medical educational grapevine an inquisitive Janita had become aware of the human oddity named Jack Ugly. Although at first her unexpected attempts to form a solid bond were treated with a predicable suspicion by the flabbergasted subject of her attention, Jack

After some heart felt reassurances her intentions were pure and that her motives for a friendship were not another horrible childish prank at his expense. Cautiously Jack accepted her into his private world of frustration. Janita soon became rather intrigued by her willing medical misfit friend and the way he constantly struggled through each and every day. As all around him a world of hate and cruelty constantly bombarded his thoughts with reminders of just how much of a pathetic physical example of a Human Being he was! A sympathetic Janita purposely took a little extra time to look past the obvious deformities as slowly she became accustomed to his wet lispy way of communicating. Gradually emerging from his shy inner shelter Jack even attempted to tell her a joke one day. Although it wasn't the slightest bit funny the new focus of his attention tried very hard to fake a laugh convincing enough to fool him into the belief he could have been a comedian!

The simple truth was Janita was not too fluent at her new language of English, so even if a well-spoken individual had shared the very same joke it would have probably been lost on her. But an honest attempt at friendship had been established and acknowledged by the now trusting Jack Ugly. In a very short time Jack now learned what it was like to be totally infatuated with another Human Being. Put simply, Jack had his first crush on a pretty girl. Seems he was not the one who felt this way about the newly arrived foreign beauty as now a steep increase of teasing at his expensive suddenly occurred? It soon become obvious self obsessed football quarterback Bobby Jones also considered Janita Jovino to be something rather special. Something he consistently reminded her of in the school hallways each time they passed by each other. Regretfully for Bobby Janita remained focused on matters of the mind rather than some dumb jock's body. Defiantly she regularly ignored Bobby's unwanted sleazy romantic advances! Resulting in him starting a new set of rumors about Jack Ugly. According to Bobby Jack was now also inflicted with Aids as a consequence of paying an infected junkie street hooker for sex because no girls in school would go near him!

Basically overnight without knowing why? Jack's usual taunts transformed from the usual expected ramblings about his disfigured appearance into strange new bizarre rants about his sexual habits and his latest debilitating affliction of Aids? An innocent Jack was fast learning when the schools alpha male is publicly rejected the reason for his recourse will also have to suffer the same despair! Coincidently about now a whole new bunch of unforeseen rumors began circulation. Janita was also aware of these strange new tales about Jack latest disease but luckily possessed the courtesy to ask him what it was all about? To which a slightly dribbling Jack informed her as best he could that Bobby was possibly jealous of being rejected by her? Upon hearing the gossip, to say a bemused Janita laughed her head off at this unexpected development was a true understatement! Janita was a committed individual who had traveled around the globe to be at this school and also help out at the local hospital. The thought of some brain dead jock winning her affections had never once crossed her mind! Janita was here for human study and not for romantic distractions to appease the 'cool kids' at school.

Jacks latest dilemma really left him in two minds. Sure it was great that Janita spent a lot of time with him. However the increased teasing and strange taunts about something he was not even responsible for or had ever contemplated made him eager for this final school year to abruptly end. Yes he was now having more adult orientated thoughts, but the desire for sex from a street hooker was truly the last thing he would have ever considered? The latest degrading actions of his fellow students confirmed just how cruel uninformed and ignorant kids really can be! Although, when his heartless sisters also joined in on the unwarranted teasing Jack really felt down and out. He knew his three pretty sisters had always considered him to be a handicap to their aspirations of all the perfect things in life. However until now though, they had never been so outwardly public in their thoughts or disapproval. Were they also jealous of his new friend? For Jack and Janita the curious studies and friendship continued on as one day she asked Jack to try a few thought based tests designed to establish just how clear thinking process really was?

First off Janita asked him to tell her the tenth letter of the alphabet? Jack answered "J' pleased with his rapid response rate Janita then asked Jack to try and tell her in alphabetical language his birth date? Not expecting too much by way of a response she went onto ask him to share the year of the century, the month and the day. Acknowledging he fully understood the question and method of reply Jack's eyes slowly rolled around different directions leading up to the moment of his reply "J" "J" "J" Through broken English a dumbfounded Janita excitedly asked if his birthday was the Tenth of October Two Thousand and Ten? A question Jack proudly responded to by enthusiastically nodding yes. Indicating Janita was correct in her interpretation of his alphabet based answer to her query! Noticeably Janita's face now appeared slightly confused as she carefully surveyed the next set of her predetermined tests? Her subsequent planned test would now require Jack to simply fill in the missing letter of these three words, _oke, in_ection and New _ersy.

In total disbelief Janita looked back at Jack then announced they all needed the letter "J" to be complete the word? A strange occurrence no doubt Janita contemplated as she then asked the following set of predetermined questions 'Favorite item of clothing?' 'Favorite drink?' 'Favorite food?' plus 'Favorite music?' At which without hesitation Jack instantly answered through wet impaired speech 'Jacket' 'Juice' 'Jam' and 'Jazz' Much to Janita's increasing astonishment! Upon further study she realized each of her briskly written questions offered the now predicable result of Jack answering every single inquiry with a word beginning with the letter "J" Such as 'What is a course of travel from place to another?' (Journey) or 'What is another name for a reporter?' (Journalist) 'What is the rider of a horse in a race?' (Jockey) The list went on and on! Perplexed, Janita soon realized all the questions she had randomly planned to ask Jack each contained within the answer a word beginning with the letter "J" This was unusual Janita thought to herself? Suddenly it dawned upon her that not only did her first name begin with the letter "J" but strangely her surname as well?

Confronted by this rare turn of events Janita suddenly chose to finish up for the day. Unaware of the situation Jack quietly watched on while she hastily packed up her all her study notes. Jack was a little disappointed at the lost time he had planned to share with her but understood something unknown had unnerved her enough to finish their session sooner than usual? Later on once Janita had recollected her thoughts enough to continue contemplating this strange turn of events. She curiously realized all of Jacks new ailments coincidently also started with the letter "J' Perplexed, Janita further examined her background notes, confirming the suspicion that Jack's original debilitating conditions were all caused by diseases only starting with the letter "J" Diagnosed at very early childhood as being Jacobsen Syndrome and Jarcho-Levin Syndrome. Returning home that night Janita got to thinking about the day's weird events? So she did some searching on the Internet for weird savants and their quirky relationship with the world around them. However savants who associated to just one letter came up as en empty search. No matter how many times she tried to re-formulate the question to ask on Google.

The next day although keeping her irregular findings to herself Janita offered to walk home with Jack. Flattered by the display of extra attention a happy Jack could not accept the offer of a walk home with a beautiful girl fast enough! Fancy that Jack Ugly seen in the street with girl who was pretty enough to be a model, wow! Their stroll was to see an investigative Janita through noticeably awkward English asking more seemingly unimportant questions relating Jacks life and surrounds such as 'What type of car do your folks drive?' only to have Jack reply 'Jaguar and Jeep' or what does your dad for a living 'Oh he's a Joiner specializing in Jacobean woods' Each and every time, the answers to all of Janita's probing questions always came back to a word starting with the letter "J" 'What's your favorite month?' (Already knowing Jack would answer 'January') Then there was what do your parents do on a Saturday night? 'Oh they like to Jive dance to Jazz music' Favorite hobby? ......"Jigsaws" favorite song? 'Jump' by Van Halen. Amazingly this unsettling world of coincidences relating to the letter "J" only grew stronger and stronger as now they finally reached the front entrance his home. A small talking Janita secretly studied the front yards garden. Consisting of flora such as Jasmine, Juniper, Jade, Jonquil and Japonica! Plus there was a large Jacaranda tree proudly standing tall in the middle of green lawn technically known as Juncus Inflexus.

All accompanied by the backdrop of a Jungle green house fitted out with Jet Black fittings! Turns out the more Janita sought to establish some form of visual connection with the letter "J" The more she could? Unbelievably this entire house was apparently built around the letter "J" From the garden, up to the Japanese roof tiles. Even when a sneaky Janita dared to try break the "J" cycle, by asking what the old pile of plastic and rubber was in the corner of the yard? To her amazement Jack answered 'That's just Jenny's old Junky Jumping castle' By now the constant bombardment of strange alphabet based circumstance became a bit much for an unsettled Janita. It was time to thank Jack for all his time spent to help with her studies then retreat back to a world where all letters of the alphabet coexisted in harmony (a particularly strange term of phrase she never had considered ever using until this very day) Feeling uneasy about the recent unexplained "J" phenomena Janita decided to back off a bit from time spent with Jack. Although she continued some study sessions with him at school she never did choose to return to his house. It simply just too weird for her to consider what the next strange association with the "J" was to be?

Imagine what the inside of this crazy "J" based house consisted of? No way, just too whacky! Even the open minded Janita Jovino. The verbal barrage of taunts at school continued to plague the easy target that was Jack. Janita was soon considered guilty by association and would now also succumb to the rumor mill as false word got out that she had also acquired Aids as well! Apparently caught via touching Jack's deformed body? Going by the ever-present wry smile attached to Bobby Jones face every time she passed him in the busy school hallways, it was not a hard puzzle to figure out. Obviously his mischievous mind had brainstormed this new tactic of social destruction. However all this spiteful unjustified attention got a resentful Janita to do some serious thinking at how to best extract her own revenge? Then, with one week to go before the big end of year dance at the Jim Hill High School. Janita decided to publically announce in the hallway in front of Bobby and his football jock friends that she would be attending the graduation prom dance with Jack Ugly! Giving Jack such an unexpected shock that both eyes instantly starting leaking the off putting pus ridden residue he was always trying to keep hidden from the ever judgmental school fraternity.

At this point there was no choice for Jack other than to hurriedly shove his head into the open locker to hide his embarrassment and surprise! Desperately the cleaning process began as next his left eye started to spasm and twitch. Meanwhile the hallway echoed with laughter at Janita's humiliating announcement! A truly belated April fool's joke most of the onlookers thought to themselves? However it appeared Bobby did not quite get the joke as he stood completely motionless displaying a dropped jaw. He was obviously unable to speak or publicly chastise Janita for her fool hardy choice for one of the most important days in the high school curriculum of year 2027. Jack's mean spirited sisters also caught wind of this new 'social miss match from hell' as all the people on Facebook were referring to it as. This predicament would surely add unwanted ammunition to the daily morning taunts as Jack attended to his physical appearance in the bathroom. In fact this all unexpected thought stimulation brought on the worst case of acne he had experienced ever since it began to appear a few years ago! Jacks face was now constantly caught between a bright red blush and pus based volcano that was ready to erupt without much provocation!

Jack Ugly First Intermission

Jack's father Johnny became aware of his sons social triumph but chose not to indulge himself too much in the excitement for Jack in case it all went wrong? Basically Jack's dad would continue on with the strategy of putting more time into the girls who amazingly were now going out with three brothers named Jed, Joshua and Jake! Yes they were truly on the correct path of a "J" life jack's father thought to him self. Inexplicably Johnny seemed happy to conveniently forget that his son's big prom date was named Janita. Who of course also had a name starting with the magical letter of "J" His mother Julie appeared to be only slightly more interested. Mostly due to the fact she would be lumbered with the chore of ironing something suitable for him to wear. At no stage was any consideration given to hiring a suit or any other example of formal ware to make Jack Ugly's big night more of a success. He would be dropped off and given the cab fare home. It was also never an option to allow him to collect his beautiful date on the way there. No they could just meet out the front, which ultimately did not bother Janita too much. She was not really caught up in what was a foreign tradition to her anyway!

Janita's various motives for the big night were a mixture of categories including skepticism, revenge, sympathy and humor all rolled into one! Her parents back home in Italy actually seemed more thrilled about the whole event than Janita did? Perhaps, because up to this point, she had chosen not to reveal the odd identity of her chosen date or her ulterior motives for even attending such a frivolous function. Simple truth was she felt it could have been a night better spent on improving her medical knowledge by hitting the books. It was quite possible not enough credit had ever been given to Janita's dedication to her special studies. Most of the judgmental onlookers simply chose to observe the strange friendship she had developed with Jack Ugly rather than her as an individual. Finally after what was a very nervous week for Jack the big night arrived. Jack's mother had selected his attire for the evening to be jeans, jumper, jacket and jogging shoes. As an expectant Jack sat in his room doing a new jigsaw puzzle, to his surprise his father knocked on the door asking if he could possibly offer some helpful advice for upcoming event?

A suspicious Jack allowed his father entry but couldn't help feel it was all too little too late if this was about a father trying to be a good parent? Besides just last weekend Jack had accidently overheard his dad's unbridled joy at the news of all three sisters finding love! Johnny was simply over the moon that their new boyfriends names all luckily began with the letter "J" Unaware of Jack's close proximity Johnny had proudly reaffirmed to Julie how they really did do the correct thing by concentrating solely on the girls! Upon entering the bedroom the next moment would stay with Jack for the remainder of his life. His father Johnny announced he was aware of the beautiful girl that was to be Jacks date, but had reservations about allowing him to spend the evening with her? Jack's instinctive first thoughts were 'wow dad truly understands I am on a first date and finally, although belated he has come to offer me sound advice on how to deal with it!' Especially tonight when more eyes than usual would be focused on him' This just might actually be a father and son breakthrough? Yep, perhaps a true hallmark moment had miraculously arrived? A time when the father finally acknowledges the transformation of his son evolving from adolescence into full manhood!

At last here was some quality time for the growing up Jack and his distant father Johnny who was by now pulling up a chair next to him. It was soon revealed his sisters had kept Johnny up to date with all the gossip about this girl possessing a first name starting with the letter "J" Plus that she even had a surname beginning with the letter "J" A foreign girl who had incredibly chosen Jack as the one to remember for the rest of life as her 'Prom date' Appearing concerned Johnny offered Jack a Jube then began 'Son I know the school years have not been kind to you and I feel on this night of nights I should confide in you that I have some real reservations about you attending the Prom Dance' Stunned at what he was hearing Jack felt his left eye start to nervously twitch as his heart began to fall to the floor! "Son I have heard this girl's names starts with the letter "J" and that she is from Italy? Well did you know that the Italian alphabet does not fully acknowledge the letter "J" According to these folk "J" is just second rate letter that is only ever occasionally used? This is surely blasphemy and should not be tolerated! Here you are with a girl who claims to be Italian and has the letter "J" for a first name and a surname. I'm sorry son but she sounds like trouble to me. I am unsure if you should be attending the dance with such a conniving type of girl!'

Horrified by the deplorable display of twisted logic on offer Jack asked his father if he was actually joking? Because so far she was the only willing person in his whole miserable life that had ever really looked beyond all the physical deformities! Plus the predetermined opinions, of what was basically every student and teacher of an entire school! Janita was a friend who happily conceded Jack was indeed a real Human Being with real feelings and emotions! Even if these feelings were well hidden behind all the off putting and disfiguring exterior features that were always to be the first main focus of any new persons attention entering his distorted life. Overcome with emotion and unable to talk while starting to hyperventilate, Jack silently cursed God! How could God take away his opportunity to inform a cruel unfeeling father that yes there was a nearby abomination in his life, but it was not the innocent Janita. It was in fact his father Johnny, with all this ongoing crazy analogies relating to the letter "J" and it's place within the universe? Always present, life's cruelties would not even allow him to participate in a fully justified verbal revenge on this supposed night of nights.

Anticipating Jack's shocked reaction Johnny quickly handed him a paper bag to regulate his breathing. For one fleeting moment Johnny contemplated if perhaps he should allow the noticeably distraught Jack to attend the big dance? But his physical train wreck of a son can't even Jive a hesitant Johnny thought to himself. Upon hearing her son's loud sobbing Jack's mother Julie entered the room, apparently unaware of Johnny's secret reservations about their son's big night. Then after some heated discussion on Julie's part that a declared false "J" is in fact better than no "J" at all. Equally twisted, her logic eventually won the day. Soon afterwards a defeated Johnny begrudgingly gave his blessings and advised Jack to smarten himself up before they departed to drop him off. To appease Julie, Johnny decided a Jasmine corsage might just help the stars and the moon properly align tonight. He handed over the small flower arrangement to an emotionally recovering Jack who gratefully accepted the small token of his father's obvious madness. If it meant he could now attend the dance with both parents' blessings!

Sisters Jessica, Justine and Jenny all falsely wished him well as awkwardly he entered the old jaguar motorcar to be taken to the big dance. Tightly clutching his handkerchief to avert any more unwanted leakages Jack experienced his first ever sample of pride in appearance! Although, compared to the other well attired attendees he may come up short in the fashion stakes. Appearing in blatant need of some better clothing Jack Ugly for once in his life truly believed this was going to be a special night! This was a special occasion to always be remembered! As the old jaguar pulled up outside James Hill High School, fumbling with the seatbelt while preparing to exit the car Jack got his first glance at his superbly dressed date for the evening. A spectacular looking Janita quickly ventured towards the old jaguar motorcar. Before Jack was fully out of his seat Janita was already introducing herself to a suspicious Johnny. Who for Jack's sake tried hard to hide his doubts about the whole nights purpose? What was this stunning girl doing with a person like Jack he pondered to himself while politely smiling to avoid any display of disapproval.

Then in a well informed presentation of classic car knowledge, Janita expertly named the old car's style model and even added the year of its manufacture. All much to Johnny's instant delight and adoring approval! As it turns out her father had also owned one of these old Jags when Janita was just ten years old. Although it didn't run now she stated it still remained in her father's garage back home in Italy. Janita further astonished Johnny by noticing this was the overdrive model! Considered to be even more collectable by all serious Jaguar enthusiasts. After only a few moments of unexpected and enjoyable banter Johnny unknowingly found himself admiring her Jade colored earrings setting off her beautiful jade colored gown. This surely must have cost a small fortune he contemplated? Within moments of meeting medical student Janita Jovino, Jack's dad Johnny was totally mesmerized by this exotic young lady who had taken a special interest in his son. Conspicuously Johnny tried to continue the conversation hopefully a little longer to enjoy her charming company. Not that Johnny would have ever openly admitted it but he was possibly just a little jealous of his son?

Watching on a more than a little envious Bobby Jones tried hard to avoid any acknowledgement of the freak show currently unraveling its self before his very eyes! But sheer fascination at the contradicting human appearances held his attention for more than he desired. Quickly forgotten his date for night repeatedly tapped him on the shoulder frivolously trying to regain his obviously wandering thoughts. Bobby's pride had rarely been defeated before and this strange unjust happening was not going down well with him at all! Without thoughts of consequence he began to formulate a spiteful prank intended to humiliate not only the rejecting target of his affections plus her undeserving freak of nature date. Forgetting all of the special evenings planned formalities Bobby's mind ticked over wondering exactly what he could do to extract a publically degrading loss of dignity upon jack and Janita? After some none too deep soul searching and the well timed appearance of known drug dealer Tommy Can (who always could) A jealous Bobby concluded an unrequested additive to one of their refreshments may achieve the required public embarrassment he desperately desired!

Bobby made his way over to the well stocked drug supplier on legs "Tommy Can" Then inquired what might be a suitable elixir to entice some poor soul to completely forget where they were? Plus more to the point what they were doing at the time? The man who "Can" grinned mischievously then produced a small brown glass medicine bottle containing an unknown clear liquid. Guaranteed to make all unsuspecting recipients completely forget their actions. All for the low cost of an introduction to Bobby's recently discarded date! A true bargain the star quarterback thought to himself while maneuvering over to his football friends to share his clever plan to set Janita up and simultaneously humiliate Jack in front of the whole class! Having obtained a pledge of assistance for his ruse from a couple of his friends. Bobby was finding it hard to curve his enthusiasm while drinking down a slug of whiskey from a small flask. Outside the hall where the dance was taking place Jack and his date Janita arrived at the hall's entrance. Astounded, teachers focused all of their confused attention on Jack's spectacular partner. Displaying superior level of elegance compared the home girls spitefully surveying her sophisticated Italian fashion sense.

Jack's nervous heart was racing at an extraordinarily high rate as they slowly progressed past the welcoming formalities of the overseeing teachers. Within moments they in the vibrantly lit up dance hall full of multi colored balloons and streamers. There was even a mirrored disco ball bouncing off concentrated light at a multitude angles to all parts of the decorated room. Without any conscious awareness Jack started frequently dabbing at his wide eyes. Attempting to prevent any ammunition for abundance of dumbfounded onlookers. Who upon recognition of his alluring date began a series of Chinese whispers! All aimed at reassuring themselves that they were in fact witnessing an hilarious public display of sympathy on Janita's part. After all such pairings just do not eventuate in the 'real world' All agreed, this was undoubtedly a pity date and something that should be ultimately ignored as the night went on. Sensing all eyes remained on him, Jack hastily offered to attend to the refreshments. A defiant Janita slowly glanced around the room to confirm to all she was completely sober and that this undertaking done at her choice!

Once more a smiling Jack offered to attend to the refreshments as finally Janita returned her attention back to him, politely signaling no drink was required for the moment. Jack was quite thirsty and was just a little unsure of how he would go awkwardly walking over to the drinks table in front of what appeared to be the entire year 12 curiously studying his every move! However a severely dried up throat was to leave him with no other choice as sheepishly he hobbled over to the luckily close by refreshments. After making a selection in his usual clumsy manner Jack awkwardly spun around accidently spilling the drink onto one of Bobby's friends named Dave! Who peculiarly did not verbally attack him with the usual tirade of abuse he had become accustomed to receiving. Instead oddly Dave chose to say nothing at all other than 'Whoops sorry, my fault' at which a few onlookers sniggered at, well aware there was more in store for Jack and his date. Misreading the unusual situation Jack believed he had won over the respect of Dave and perhaps even had another friend in the room?

It soon occurred to Jack being with Janita tonight was the best thing that could have ever happened to him! After all everyone loves a winner, don't they? Heck even his uneasy rapid heartbeat had returned to a regular rhythm by now. Lost in the moment it actually felt good to have some form of social standing Jack proudly conceded to himself. Yes at last, finally things were looking up for him. Janita had not accumulated many friends at her new educational facility, mostly because of her unconventional association with the schools physical dunce. Happily there were one or two acquaintances that during the night shared an occasional quick chat with her. Nearby a proud looking Jack swayed as best he could in time to all the songs played by the dance's Disc Jockey. Unusually contented, Jack even occasionally closed his eyes while clumsily shuffling away to the beat, much to many of the disbelievers dismay! Constantly they strived for their obvious disapproval of the evening's circumstances to be fully noted by this obvious subject of pity! However Jack's thoughts were only about happiness on this special evening!

Close by Bobby eagerly watched on, waiting for an opportunity to make some small talk then disperse his toxic clear liquid into Janita's refreshment. That is if she ever finally got around to getting one? The vindictive Bobby was extremely anxious to share what Tommy Can referred to as 'Jungle Juice' An illicit substance guaranteed to spin the recipient's head faster than a gravity machine at Nasa! Unbeknownst, whoever the recipient was would make this a Prom Dance one to be remembered for many years to come! As this grand night progressed and the overseeing teachers began to relax a bit Bobby decided the time was finally right to take his chance and to offer Janita a drink of lemonade. It would be his way of apologizing for all the teasing and taunts during the recent months. Janita cautiously accepted Bobby's generosity by taking a small sip to show her appreciation. Nearby Jack had unusually clear eyes on the unusual turn of events and wobbled over to investigate. Bobby now hastily retreated back to his group of on-looking football friends all waiting for the head spinning show to begin! Unconvinced by the pure motives of Bobby's surprise offering a suspicious Jack sensed there might be something foul at hand? He would ask Janita if he could have a sip of her drink because his bad leg was too sore to return to the drinks table.

Janita happily obliged his harmless request just as Mr Smyth walked by to view her humble offering to Jack. Who was by now in the process of drinking down the last remnants of the cup's volatile to the mind fluid much to Bobby's horror! What would such a toxic drink do to an already physically weakened human example such as Jack Ugly? Only moments later the disturbing answer would be revealed! Appearing off balance and noticeably affected by something astray Jack was unable to sustain his poise or equilibrium any longer. Seconds later he was violently ill over some unfortunate passerby. This in turn was followed on by swiftly falling to the floor to begin a series of gut wrenching convulsions causing him to lose control of all bodily functions! Next came a series of pungent odors as involuntarily he defecated into his pants. All of which that was soon accompanied by a large visible urine patch. Much to the absolute horror of all startled nearby students! There he lay, the unfortunate and barely conscious Jack. Trapped in amongst odors rising up from the mixed puddle of human excrement, urine, sweat and tears. Nearby a shocked and unknowingly slightly affected Janita remained close by in case of heart or epileptic seizures? Concerned teachers rang for the paramedics as gratefully in quick time the ambulance arrived.

Worried, the decision was quickly made to take Jack to hospital. Due to the fact he was not responding well to all attempts to resuscitate him while waving in and out of consciousness. Having witnessed the initial reaction to the drugged drink Mr Smyth had the presence of mind to retain the dropped cup in case it needed to be examined? If the worst happened to Jack and he did not ever fully recover from this unforeseen attack Mr Smyth could only go with what was witnessed. Which at this point was that Janita handed Jack a drink and next moment he was seemingly close to death! Amongst the chaos Mr Smyth believed this disturbing incident needed further investigation. So he accompanied a semi conscious Jack and a highly concerned Janita in the emergency ambulance. He now started to question how this all came about? Not realizing this was actually an interrogation Janita's main concern was Jack, she was quite dismissive of Mr Smyth's unwanted questions. This only served to make him more suspicious of some form of foul play and that somehow Janita was involved! 'What are you on Janita?' came the unexpected question to a bewildered Janita. Who through distressed broken English answered 'How can even suggest such a thing!' Disbelieving, Mr Smyth continued 'Well you won't mind taking a simple drug test then?'

Angered by the insinuations and accusations Janita happily agreed to allow this unperceived series of events to proceed. After all what did she have to hide! Upon arrival the ambulance was met by an emergency team that had already contacted Jack's parents. They were well aware of the multiple medical conditions this unfortunate soul suffered daily. Unconfident of a positive outcome they rushed him into the emergency ward to examine him. After short consultation with Mr Smyth they decided to pump his stomach. Then do a series of blood tests to establish exactly what he had ingested via the cup offered up by an under suspicion Janita! Who was currently being tested for various party drugs including Crack, Ice and Amphetamines? About an hour later after having his stomach pumped the emergency team announced Jack was in the clear and should survive the ordeal! It was then declared Jack was full of a party rape drug known as G.B.H Also known as Grievous Bodily Harm! Disgusted, Mr Smyth instantly turned to Janita questioning 'How could you do such a thing?' Stunned, Janita was momentarily lost for words! This only added to her guilt in Mr Smyth's eyes as he informed her she would no doubt be expelled from school and sent back to Italy. Protesting her innocence an enraged Janita abused Mr Smyth's ignorance at what she had figured out to be the real truth.

Star quarterback Bobby Jones had definitely passed on a spiked drink that she inadvertently had then shared with a trusting Jack. However upon questioning the next day, Bobby adamantly denied this horrible accusation by adding he also witnessed Janita suspiciously passing on her drink to Jack. She had obviously planned to humiliate him in front of the whole year 12 Student Body as some form of sick prank! Bobby even thanked Mr. Smyth on behalf of the entire student faculty for his alertness to such foul play 'Thank god you got her blood tested sir, we need more teachers like you!' Mr Smyth felt justified in his recommendations to the school principle to instantly expel the mischievous Janita Jovino. Announcing this fine school does not take well to foreigners coming here and shamelessly indulging all their perverted fun at our society's more unfortunate souls expense! Convinced by Mr Smyth's sound reasoning for expelling Janita, the principle instantly declared she was no longer a student of this Jim Hill High School and would be on a plane home a.s.a.p!

Within 24 hours of the prom dance incident Janita's fate had been decided, all without even seeking out her version of the facts? Meaning that before Jack could fully regain consciousness she was flying home back to Italy. In ward "J' when finally a bedridden Jack reopened his leaking eyes instinctively he searched for his friend Janita. Instead came the unwanted sight of his parents Johnny, Julie as well as his sisters Jenny, Jessica and Justine. Plus their boyfriends Jake, Joshua and Jeff and a doctor named Jackson with nurse Jacinta by his side! Basically everyone other than the one person he really hoped would be there. All just staring at him, making him even more self conscious than usual. Jack's father announced that the source of all this trouble had been returned to her homeland, never to be seen again! Again Jack's eyes began leaking, although this time is was a salty clear fluid formed by hurt emotions and a traumatic loss to his soul. The one person who had ever spent any quality time with him was gone! Jack was surely destined to return to his life of misery. Surrounded by the cruel reminders of how unhappy he had truly been. The remaining time spent at school was an absolute horror as Jack's nicknames now incorporated the word stinky after his unfortunate loss of bodily function control at the prom dance.

Jack's worst fears had arrived, not only was he alone now that Janita had been expelled. But he was also the target of an even higher level of character assassination! Occurring not only in the school hallways but also on the way home on the bus, in the street and even at the mall. Even the smaller younger school kids became aware of his sad plight. Only to then jump aboard the torment train to despair of a social outcast. Life was at a new low for Jack as next he succumb to a new set of ailments including the bowel complaint Jejuna Astresia and the skin condition of Juvenile Hyaline Fibromatosis. The hapless Jack truly seemed destined for some kind of Guinness Book of Records page as the man with the most diseases on Earth! Yet somehow he doggedly got up each then made his way to the school to endure another day of predicted misery! Trying to adjust to life without his only one friend, Jack's only compensation was that he retained many fond memories of her and the time they spent together. Finally the last day of school Jack's life eventually arrived. Cruelly many of the students chose not to miss the opportunity for one last humiliating verbal tirade aimed his looks and past sanitary habits!

Jack felt it was just pointless to inform them when under the influence of such a drug they would also have suffered the exact same fate! Unable to clearly state his message because of the lisp it was a hopeless no win situation that Jack had to endure, just one more time. Soon he would be retreating into the safety of his room back home to consider the next chapter of his life? Jack was well aware there was nothing special on the horizon for him and decided perhaps to learn a little bit more about his body. So he made the choice to offer what little assistance he could to the local hospital. It was hoped he might just get to spend a little time away from the craziness of life with his "J" obsessed parents. Plus he may be able to gain a little more insight into his increasingly decaying body. Conveniently he was now regularly attending the outpatient's ward anyway. Why not be near the safety of the hospital on a daily basis and do something with all the lost days ahead he decided. After an initial inquiry Jack was informed the only section that the hospital could use any volunteers was to be in the morgue. Where such duties as tagging the dead and some light cleaning would be required.

Jack gratefully accepted the chance to hide away from the mad house he woke to every day and soon began his daily chores deep in the basement of the hospital. Meanwhile his parents Johnny and Julie were ecstatic to discover their three daughters were all to be married on the 10th of January. After that they would then to move to various parts of the country to spread the good word of the letter "J' Seems Johnny and Julie had somehow managed to coerce Jake, Joshua and Jeff into moving to the various cities of America starting with the letter "J" Unbelievably Johnny had aligned himself with disciples so intoxicated by his beautiful daughters that they happily agreed to move to Jacksonville Florida, Jackson Wyoming and Jamestown Virginia. Yes, soon the whole of America would be able to learn about the wonderful power of the letter "J" Jack's body was fast decaying but his mind remained as strong as could be. He was well aware of the impending triple marriage and the subsequent pilgrimage across the U.S.A to spread the word of the letter "J" It was sheer madness and would most likely see them all locked up in the loony bin! If ever the justice department was to hear of their strange affiliation that had come about, all because of one single letter of the alphabet?

What next? The church of "J" What about all the other letters and consonants in the alphabet? Who would worship them he thought to himself while begrudgingly listening on as his excited parents spoke of a brave new world. All based on the letter "J' Johnny suggested maybe there should be a new state named "J" and that it would only allow Jeeps and Jaguar cars! Perhaps it would only be inhabited by animals from the "J" family? Such as the Jackass, Jackrabbits, Jackals, Jaguars and even Jumping Mice. Even exotic birds like Jabiru's, Jacana's and Jaybirds could live there! Yes a whole state full of "J" what a sight to behold Johnny told an admiring Julie who contributed to the banter with some of her ideas. This wonderful new state would produce Jackboots, Jam's, Juices, Jackhammers, Jars, Jerry Cans, Joist's and Jewelry to sustain a sound economy. Johnny quickly added how on the weekends they would go to the lake's jetty and fish for Jack Dempsey's, Jae Barb and Jau Catfish. While Jack Russell Terriers, Japanese Spitz joyfully played in Japanese Garden Parks! Onlookers would juggle and sing jingles. Heck every January they could hold a "J" Jamboree or a Jazz festival. Overcome with joy they agreed the whole world was truly missing out on the world of "J" and that it was somehow their duty to share it!

Jack Ugly Second Intermission

The excitement level in the Ugly's household could hardly be contained as the approaching three way wedding day edged closer and closer. Then, finally the big day arrived as all the clans conglomerated into the Jackson Convention Complex. Much to Johnny's and Julie's delight, all the parents were in full agreement with the plan to move their offspring throughout the country. As it turned out they were also in proud possession names starting with "J" Jakes parents were named Jacque and Jacey. Then there was Joshua's folks who went by the titles of Jaclyn and Jarvis and last but not least, Jeff's parents finished off the "J" names with Jerome and Jamie! Who between them all had amassed a total of ten further children also blessed with a "J" name! A dumbfounded Jack watched on as the madness unveiled its self for all to see and rejoice in! He could not believe his eyes, recalling the numerous times he had been classified as an official freak. Yet here he was surrounded by a bunch of people basing their lives around a single letter of the alphabet? The triple wedding went well and it was agreed that the remaining offspring would continue to keep in contact in the hope of even more marriages to follow on the future! Jack looked up to the heavens then actually thanked the lord above that he was so appalling in most people's eyes. If it meant he was able to avoid all the crazy stuff going on at this highly unusual day of days.

Once all formalities were attended to and each ceremony completed Johnny and Julie announced they had something quite special to share with all the people in attendance. With all attention focused on him, Johnny rose to his feet to declare that both himself and Julie had agreed to adopt the new surname of "J" Looking extremely proud Johnny then held up the official court order as proof of the name change! Enthralled, the crowd eagerly rose to their feet simultaneously chanting "J J J" Johnny went on the explain that it was a magnificent win for the letter "J" He was hoping in the future all the newly wedded couples might also consider such a surname change in the future? To add weight to the request all the grooms parents now publicly agreed to also initiate a surname change to the sacred term of "J" Watching on the solitary figure of Jack could not understand what these people were becoming as next they bandied around the idea of starting up a church! With the premise of worshipping all things beginning with "J" Astonished at the current events on display Jack promised himself one day he would escape the truly crazy people in his life that were his parents. Their obsession with such a frivolous thing as a letter in the alphabet had transpired to something more suited to some abstract secret cult?

His father, already had social business cards made up! Proudly stating Johnny J + Julie J of James St Jackson. Original Founders of the church of "J" For a bewildered and not well Jack the day could not end soon enough! His nightmare of life would now see him inhabiting an official madhouse, as far as he was concerned. Returning back home it suddenly hit Jack that he would be the only person in the house other than his obviously deluded parents. This was not good, any time spent at the hospital we surely be a blessing. Especially if it meant an escape from a fate possibly worse that his school days and life with the letter "J" He was grateful that his clearly corrupted sisters and brothers in law had left his life but was unsure of which was worse, the cure or the disease? Less taunting meant less stress but listening to his parents as they ran all their "J" based plans past him was almost unbearable. Jack soon missed the voluntary scapegoats that were Jessica, Justine and Jenny. Although suffering more pain than he was willing to disclose, Jack requested more time at the hospital. Simply put, the peaceful solitude of the dead was a welcome relief from the increasingly weird situation at home. His mother was currently designing a ceremonial robe for all who chose to be ordained into the church of "J"

There was no doubt about it, the dead were much better company a rarely smiling Jack laughed to himself. Nurse Jacinta had recognized him and even occasionally dropped in to see how he was going? It was a welcome relief to all the crazy contradictions of his life, which were complete madness or complete silence? Jacinta eventually confided to Jack that Janita Jovino had also been doing volunteer work at the hospital and when she was suddenly deported many at the hospital felt she had gotten a raw deal! Most that knew her, here at the hospital believed she possessed the highest of integrity and would never have done such a thing. Grateful for the admission of faith in his only ever friend, Jack told Jacinta that he was sure it was someone else behind the prank? But because there had been so many enemies in his life at school he could never be sure of exactly who was behind it? Jacinta also shared with Jack that Janita had felt quite certain she met him for a reason! Although what it was remained unknown to her? A remorseful Jack sadly accepted they would never know. A couple of months passed by then one day Jacinta came running down to the morgue to show Jack a postcard Janita had sent them! It was a photo of a big hospital in Rome, Italy where she was studying infectious diseases, she was excelling at her work. The unexpected postcard even requested for someone at the hospital to say a big hello to Jack for her!

On the 10th day of June 2028 a cataclysmic event that would change the planet forever came about! A violent and unforeseen meteor shower destructively rained down onto the Earth's surface to various parts of the globe. Only hitting land in the countries of Jamaica, Jordan and Japan. Inexplicably it was noted only the countries starting with the letter "J" were struck? A curious fact reported by the world's media as a strange ironic twist of fate? However they failed to recognize the underlying fact that a large number of infectious viruses all starting with the letter "J" had strangely now began to spread and mutate as well! Alarmingly animal based bacterial viruses were now crossing over to destroy human based genetics and human host based viruses were infecting animals, even flora? Viruses normally only associated with the animal world such the Jaagsiekte virus (Sheep Lung Disease) were somehow making humans sick? Even the meningitis based Jamestown Canyon virus normally spread by mosquitoes amongst the deer populations of North America had now suddenly began appearing in humans? Disturbingly, only in the countries struck by the meteors!

The list went on and on, people who had never been near an infected rodent of Argentina were now succumbing to the Junin virus (Hematological and Neurological Fever) That somehow had also migrated to the countries of Japan and Jordan. Strangely even forgotten viruses such as the Jedda Virus (Respiratory) reappeared to wreck havoc on all unsuspecting recipients. Curiously the spread of the Jh Virus (Human Rhinovirus) carefully isolated away from society was to also begin to decimate the human populations of "J" Based countries? In reaction, a more than concerned United Nations swiftly placed these conspicuously affected countries into a strict quarantine and banned all travel to and from them. Until, a reason for these unnerving occurrences could be thoroughly explained! Panic was abound as all populations on Earth began to close up borders then declare even healthy individuals a public risk if identified as having any suspicious symptoms. Such as a fever, diarrhea or even a harsh cough. Mysteriously more and more of the world's countries found victims suffering Japanese encephalitis based deaths. (Curiously all victims had previously traveled to a "J" country)

The modern world was in disbelieving panic as the populations of Jamaica, Japan and Jordan began to decline by such an alarming rate that by the end of June 2028. It was estimated only half of the previous population in these countries remained alive. The mutated series of "J" based virus epidemics were soon officially described as the worst outbreak of diseases in human history! Inexplicably this pandemic dilemma remained specific to the "J" Countries? As the calendar clicked over to the 10th of July a sudden new wave of destructive meteor showers returned to strike Planet Earth! Again, only specific "J" based geographic locations were pounded? More specifically this time around it would be all the cities of the world beginning with "J" targeted. Relentlessly, meteor hail rained down without any showing of mercy! Only hours later, all of these unfortunate locations would soon suffer a fate similar to that of Japan, Jamaica and Jordan! The cosmic storm hit the following world locations Jalalabad Afghanistan, Jacksonville U.S.A, Jakarta Indonesia, Jaque Panama, Jauja Peru, Jabiru Australia, Jambol Bulgaria, Jasper-hinton Canada, Januaria Brazil. Then there was Jinan China and at least another 50 cities and provinces including Jersey United Kingdom, Joensuu Finland, Jazan Saudi Arabia, Jaque Panama plus Jurado Colombia, Jamshedpur India, Jaluit Island Marshall Islands. All devastated by the falling space rock!

Except this time the resulting mutated "J" viruses could not be contained to within just these specific cities. All the countries of Planet Earth had rapidly become infected, leaving the human race in dangerous peril without any solid guarantee of an ongoing existence? Searching for fast answers the world's scientists desperately conferred with each other. Seeking out a miracle cure for what appeared to be a dark destiny for all remaining humans who were now slowly dying in the streets. Most of the ill suffered from horrible deformities plus other debilitating afflictions. Including crippling spinal conditions and numerous other macabre ghastly transformations. The bulk of the affected would also suffer puss leakages from every orifice of their body! All accompanied by a pungent odor that would never leave the memories of the attending doctors and nurses of the globe's hospitals and emergency aid stations. In the "J" destination of Jackson Mississippi, the city was hit hard as at least one thousand various sized meteors rained down on the hapless population below. Blissfully unaware of this insidious phenomenon Jack enthusiastically attended to his designated duties amongst the welcoming silence of the recently departed. The day passed by just as any other day would have, if you were a morgue worker hidden away from the hustle bustle of the living on the floors above.

The floors above were noticeably quiet today for some reason a contented Jack thought to himself, now nearing the completion of his working day. Another aspect to this day seeming just a bit out of the ordinary was that his regular visit from Jacinta did not eventuate as hoped? "Oh well there is always tomorrow"

This was an unusual thought process for Jack who suddenly realized there was another friend in his solitary existence. Jack's world was improving just slightly, and to think there was even something to look forwards to tomorrow! A warm feeling that cruelly disappeared the day Janita departed had now miraculously returned! Other than his crazy parents home life, at last Jack's world was finally becoming tolerable! Worryingly his health was noticeably declining over the past couple of months. The exit from the morgue was a two way choice? Up through the hospital or out through the underground car park? Today Jack decided he would leave via the car park for a change. This haphazard choice would see him momentarily avoid confronting by the unknown chaos above. Unbeknownst to Jack up top numerous hospital wards were rapidly filling with critically ill patients! All succumbing to the combination of viruses somehow emitting from land bound meteors that had disintegrated upon impact. Leaving no evidence of where they had originated?

A slow awkward walk remained quite a task for Jack. However the recent donation by a Podiatrist of a shoe intended for unfortunate soul who didn't last long enough to use it made the job just a little more tolerable. Shuffling along to the exit up ahead a curious Jack wondered where all the other workers were? After all they had normally all finished their work by now? Perhaps only Jack was lucky enough to be leaving on time today? Hospitals are like that sometimes, they can get busy very quickly! Come to think of it he hadn't even see his supervisor before leaving. Undoubtedly they must have been detained upstairs for any number of reasons? Upon reaching the sunlight of the day's end, again Jack observed the distinctly quiet surroundings of what was normally quite a busy road leading into the hospital grounds. However it was the next unsettling sight that unnerved him the most! Up ahead it now became obvious something out of the ordinary was surely taking place? In front of him there was a cue of numerous unattended cars? All with their doors left wide open, apparently with no drivers or passengers? Only abandoned vehicles for as far as the eye could see? It was like all the drivers had purposely left them then ran off for reasons yet unknown. Jack considered they were maybe running to the nearby hospital? Although he was unable come up with a valid explanation as to why?

How could so many people just leave their cars then run off? Presumably to the hospital if not somewhere else? Also where were the police to keep an eye on all these empty cars? Surely someone would steal them if the owners were not careful! Jack now noticed the usual bus he caught to get home was also up ahead? Worryingly, it was also empty? Where was the usual friendly bus driver? This man had an important job to do and could not just leave the public bus unattended! When your name is Jack Ugly and you suffer from so many ailments, every day is unusual. But today even Jack was starting to feel there were unknown forces at work? Other than the predictable cruel society he dealt with on a daily basis. Jack was well aware of the trouble overseas but never gave it a second thought. Mostly due to the fact it was overseas and not here in his hometown of Jackson Mississippi. Feeling somewhat confused and alone Jack wondered whether or not to return to the hospital, hoping there may be an update in regards to the confusing situation unraveling all around him. Unknowingly had Jack departed via his usual exit he would have discovered the slumped over dead body of nurse Jacinta situated outside the morgue's entrance. She had bravely come down to warn him of the perilous situation taking place above, but sadly never quite made into the room.

By now the entire hospital had become a series of deadly virus affected wards where all residents, nurses and doctors collapsed into an agonizing final few hours of life. As destiny would have it this was the same horrific fate experienced by their foreign predecessors in Japan, Jamaica and Jordan. Nearby, the many familiar houses Jack passed by each day on the bus to work were without the all the usual sounds? There were no children playing or dogs barking while waiting impatiently waiting for a ball to be tossed into the air in a game of 'fetch it' It was an eerie dilemma previously never experienced by Jack as he jokingly considered himself the last person alive on Earth? At least with that unique dilemma the upside was at least no teasing anymore! Frustratingly though, it was only just now that he truly felt he was finding himself? Plus there were the new acquaintances he had gratefully made at the hospital that gave him something to look forwards to each day. Jack was even finding it just a bit easier to deal with the mirror image reflecting back at him during each morning bathroom ritual. Heck he had even somehow managed to ignore the humble beginnings of the Church of "J"

As the unusually still sky above began the nightly transformation into darkness Jack observed the silhouette of a small flying object no larger than a pea heading straight towards him! Bang! Next moment he felt the stinging impact of the unknown object! Which then dissipated into fine dust upon impact! Within seconds the air breathed in started to taste irregular? Reluctantly Jack's head began to sway in a nonexistent breeze as his eyes began to roll in all directions then discharge a seemingly larger than usual volume of puss and blood! An increasingly lightheaded feeling overwhelmed him as gravity forced him downwards to a position flat on his back, left with no ability to move any of his limbs. It was only now that a completely disabled Jack realized the terrifying truth. The virus associated with the meteors had finally reached American shores! It was targeting the City of Jackson and most likely many other North American city's. After the initial shock of involuntarily falling backwards to the ground a determined Jack tried valiantly to regain his footing. Worryingly though none of his weakened limbs were willing to cooperate? It was also getting harder to turn his head from side to side as desperately he searched for any form of help available?

Looking upwards, all signs of life were noticeably absent. Not even a single bird rushing back to its nest? Unexpectedly came a series of violent stomach cramps so brutal that involuntary movements from his arms and legs forced him to cradle up into the fetal position! Just like a helpless newborn baby. The growing pain was excruciatingly sharp and affecting nearly all parts of his body. As if being pricked by ten thousand pin needles all at once! Simultaneously he lost the ability to voice all objections at this unexplained biological attack aiming in on him! Distraught, Jack Ugly had never experienced such a physical pain before! Not even when he was younger while trying for days on end to walk with his head held up straight as a twisted and contoured spine rejected all futile attempts! A heart breaking experience that eventually forced him to finally accept life from a disoriented point of view, forever. What made this current situation particularly unbearable was also the fact he could not even wipe his eyes now constantly leaking like a broken tap. Completely helpless, Jack felt large quantities of fluid rapidly exiting out his eyes plus his ears and nose! Surely a disgusting sight he thought to himself. Overwhelmed by the bizarre situation at hand plus the ongoing severity of wide spread pain Jack then fell into unconsciousness! Depleted, his depleted body would now succumb to the foreign bacteria. Apparently hell bent on breaking down his already weakened immune system.

There he was, one lonely twisted figure, most likely the only living Human Being in sight? Incapacitated and well beyond any form of recognizable coherency. It was probably the same for other survivors an active sub conscious reassured Jack's dormant body. Next up came a deluge of mind altering effects originating from the virus, sending wayward thoughts to every part of a distorted body! Everything in his brain and body now mangled up all at once from the inside out to finally offer some form of relief. Perhaps all these ailments were moving onto a healthier host Jack's fuzzy mind considered. Or perhaps this what really happens just as you are about to die? All of the body's parasites simply move on and find a better place to continue their cruel attempts at breaking down the human spirit! Maybe there is an inbuilt warning system allowing for all these diseases to find another suitable donor to host their many debilitating symptoms? So many unexplained processes and synopsizes flowed through Jack highly alerted subconscious as gain and again he twisted and turned in agony. By the finish even Jacks sub conscious could not deal with the overload of questions and confusion. Unable to cope with the stress it would also now shutdown! Leaving the presumably lifeless body of Jack lying in an assortment of bodily fluids and puddles that had exited his body via all possible extremities.

As the next morning's mist evaporated Jack found himself waking up exactly where he remembered falling to the ground. Without even realizing it he then placed both hands firmly down to the ground, pushing himself upwards with surprising ease? Rising to his feet Jack experienced a cracking crumbling sound exiting from his awkward body. He now started taking in big deep breaths, expanding his lungs as never before? It felt wonderful! As a customary reflex action Jack wiped his eyes only to find there was no trace of any discharge? For reasons unknown Jack then reached upwards to the sky as even more of his twisted anatomy began to reshuffle and realign to correctly coincide with an upward movement. It was only at this moment a delighted Jack realized he was actually stretching his arms out fully without any form of pain or restriction? Quickly turning to all directions to see if anyone else was witnessing this unforeseen miracle? Jack heard more and more of his vertebrae crack and crumble away the excess calcium growths that had been with him all his life. Feeling amazingly revitalized he tentatively slowly tried a few slow forward steps! For the first time ever he experienced the feeling all of his calf and thigh muscles strongly clinging tight to his bones!

Jack's new confidence soon grew enough for him to try a further tentative step, then another and another! A number of joyful footsteps soon led him to the nearby bus. Gazing into the head high passenger side bus mirror he suddenly noticed a stranger? Unsettlingly it was exactly where he thought his refection should be? Jack swiftly turned but see no one else behind him? Anxiously he turned from side to side as more of his anatomy cracked and crunched its way into perfect alignment. Perplexingly no one was visible? Suddenly it dawned upon him! He had actually observed his own reflection! Somehow he appearance was deceptively different? Even his widened eyes were now closed in tighter! A lifetime of festering skin was now suddenly replenished and smooth and without any visible discrepancies! His forehead had also somehow dropped down a little, returning his hairline to within the boundaries of what was considered normal. Trying to obtain a better vantage angle, Jack stepped back in sheer delight of himself. Frustratingly he had to move too far back to fully enjoy this unprecedented life changing moment. Excitedly Jack decided he needed to get to the city's main street as quickly as possible. He just couldn't wait to see his straightened out body in the reflection in a full shop window! Starting the journey towards town Jack remained annoyingly restricted by the limp of a lifetime. So he stopped, took off both shoes then stepped forwards then thought to himself "ah this is better"

The walk to Main Street was at least a mile and a half and Jack did not mind one little bit as he enjoyed even more bone cracking realignments along the way! Inconceivably these mystic transformations confirmed to Jack he was somehow being reborn to the life he had always deserved! And why not he had never hurt anyone or knowingly taunted or teased any other human being, by nature Jack was always a respectful person. Even when he was younger and able to annoy his older sisters, Jack had never once begrudgingly harmed, hurt and harassed any of them. Which considering the amount of times they had chosen to unleash their spiteful humiliating taunts on him was quite remarkable! In fact Jack's first words had been 'Your Ugly' Having heard this phrase so many times before from not only his sisters but also his parents! Again Jack rubbed his eyes expecting to witness the usual pus ridden discharge! Miraculously, again nothing flowed out from this usual source of ongoing embarrassment! Elated at the amazing developments being experienced Jack enjoyed a magical spring to his many joyous steps closer and closer to the city's main street. Although over the moon strangely he was yet to observe another living soul or even an animal come to think of it?

The next oddity taking Jack by pleasant surprise was while loudly calling out for any other living souls he now realized his voice was clear and strong! Plus there was absolutely no indication he had ever possessed a lisp? Elated, Jack noticed his odd shaped tongue had somehow returned to normal size and was no longer causing the speech impediment endured for eighteen years. After another series of calls for help, Jack then decided to try something he had never ever considered before, sing! Amazingly it was soon obvious, even to an amateur like him that the harmonic sounds coming from his vocal chords weren't half bad. In fact these melodies were as glorious as anything he had ever heard on the radio or television before! With Main Street now only minutes away Jack pondered the benefits of a wonderful singing voice if no one could even hear it? At least no dogs were barking at this awful sound Jack silently joked to himself. Upon finally reaching Main Street, much to his horror jack was greeted by the macabre sight of many thousands of distressed people who had capitulated to the virus. Just lying down on the ground either dead or dying. Disturbingly there they were all horribly twisted and bent up into a variety of unnatural positions. It was as if some giant had picked each and every one of them up then individually sculptured them into some form of living abstract human statue!

It was also noted each of these poor unfortunate souls were now leaking blood and pus from the eyes. A curious development Jack contemplated? As he passed by what was believed to be a teenage girl? She opened up her mouth trying to speak but remained unable? A result of an abnormally large tongue nestled in between a distinctly white set of teeth. Confused and feeling utterly helpless Jack ran from victim to victim, however it was the same for all of them! Bent, bitter, twisted and all suffering numerous bodily fluid leaks of which were joined by unwanted pungent odors of decaying flesh and bone. A plethora of disparaging distorted human faces all silently looked to Jack in the hope he could save each and every one of them! Feeling their pain Jack was unsure of how he could actually be of any use to them? In fact he was not even sure if he could pick one of them up until he tried to help a young boy seemingly less affected than the others? Grateful to finally help, Jack assisted the kid back up onto his feet only to then hear the sounds of crumbling bone accompanying a falling frail body. His broken little body now began to leak bodily fluids from every orifice, similar to what Jack had done only the previous night. Sadly Jack knew the ending was not going to be as grand for this poor young soul!

Only a few steps further into the main street and already Jack was overwhelmed by the insidious spectacle ahead. There he stood, confronted by a sea of human decaying carnage, unsure if he could continue? Attempting to regain some composure Jack allowed him self a moments relief as he moved to an empty doorway. It was only now he was finally able to catch a glance at what he had transformed into? However any feelings of joy were to be quickly subdued by the chorus of misery positioned only a few feet away! Totally confused by it all, again Jack looked to his reflection while the dying vainly tried to obtain his attention through subdued cries of pain. All destined to go unattended to as Jack sat in the doorway weeping and watching the macabre events taking place. Sure it's true Jack had always wanted to be normal, but what is normal if there is no one else to compare normal to? What are good looks if there is no one to look at you he wondered? Now re-checking to see if his salty discharge was clear or the usual yellowish red combination of pus and blood? The discharge was clear, for reasons unknown this only added to his despair! Worryingly Jack suddenly started to recognize some of the nearby twisted faces! They were people he had previously seen at either the hospital bus or from his neighborhood? It was hard for him to be sure? So many of these people had never allowed him to be close enough for his subconscious to register them into his memory.

Frozen in fear and at a loss of what to do next Jack remained stationary for another hour as he listened to the diminishing tormented cries of the dying. He was mentally spent! Then just as all hope was lost unexpectedly Jack heard the approaching sound of a helicopter Desperately thousands of quivering hands reached up to gesture their position as slowly the chopper continued to hover forwards, but it was all to no avail. Sensing help Jack's mind instantly snapped out of depression! This new development quickly forced him back to his feet! Inspired he ran to the middle of the road waving his hands only to see it gradually disappear from view. Defeated and daunted Jack slowly walked amongst the destined for death! Occasionally he caught a surprise glimpse of himself in a shop front window. Still not fully recognizing himself instinctively Jack would try to speak to this new individual. He could only sigh at the realization that it was in fact just his reflection and not the perceived savoir he was hoping to discover! Pleading voices of hideously deformed virus victims continued to haunt his every move. Soon their final last attempts at survival began to turn nasty! Accusing him of doing the devils dirty work because otherwise he would be surely also be inflicted with the same horrible fate as the rest of them!

In the pus ridden blood stained eyes of those doomed for death the healthy Jack Ugly was no longer considered human. This of course was the ultimate irony, considering all his life it was him that was the freak and labeled as an inhuman monster! Even after a reprieve from God, it seemed that Jack Ugly was destined to remain an outcast and alone as now he found another shop's doorway to shelter in. On the verge on a mental breakdown Jack was curiously alerted to the muffled sound of a voice from up the other end of Main Street? This strange unknown voice was then in turn followed on by a loud series of indefinable replies? Unsure of the situation Jack rose to his feet once more only to observe a lone individual at the other end of the street heading to his direction? Strange unanimous cheers seemed to accompany this unknown person's every movement? Finally as the mysterious person edged closer to Jack he could hear the surprising words of 'Who is Jack Ugly, we need Jack Ugly to come with us' The muffled roar of the dying instantly grew louder as numerous people began claiming that they were in fact Jack Ugly 'I'm Jack Ugly' or ' No I am Jack Ugly, he's a fake!' then came 'Your all imposters I am the real Jack Ugly' All the many voices of despair now seeking salvation seemed to march in time with the lone figure's movements towards a puzzled Jack! Perplexed, he curiously watched on as thousands of desperate people all claimed to be the chosen one the strangely attired man was seeking out. Jack knew little about the world of biohazards but soon realized the individual slowly walking towards him was wearing a bio safety suit. But why did this unknown stranger want him though?

Staring straight ahead Jack felt a certain relief as the solitary figure suddenly gestured a friendly wave. Indicating this unknown individual knew that it was indeed Jack Ugly waiting for their arrival. The person they had so urgently sought out was now standing there waiting. Moments later the helicopter reappeared and began traveling back down the main street to their position. Reaching their position it hovered above the only two upright people standing amongst the remnants of a bitter and twisted human flesh rubbish pile. The safety winch quickly descended as next the protective suited figure indicated for Jack to harness up! It was time to get ready and ascend to the hovering chopper! However Jack pointed to the winch then yelled 'No you go first!' Unsure of the situation the rescuer again gestured to Jack to go first! Surprisingly Jack now displayed an unexplained stubbornness to depart? Confused, the rescuer begrudgingly accepted Jack's firm demands and went first. From below Jack took one final survey of what was basically a town full of so many sad memories for him. Allowing him self a brief moment to recall of all the pain and mental anguish suffered at the hands of these folk who were still claiming in vain to be him! The winch dropped back down and just as he was about to harness up Jack felt a trembling hand tightly grabbing at his left leg.

Caught off guard, Jack cautiously looked down but was unable to recognize exactly who the near death virus victim was? Calling upon the many tormented moments of his life's memories Jack would now finally recognize the initials of B.J on the college jacket worn by this hideously distorted individual? It was the mean self obsessed football jock, Bobby Jones! Looking Jack straight in the eyes as now he unashamedly declared 'I'm Jack Ugly, I am the real Jack Ugly!' Mortified, Jack angrily reacted 'No I am the real Jack ugly and I always will be you fucking asshole!' Then with a sudden jerk the winch then began to thrust him upwards to his waiting rescuers. Bobby's twisted hand just fell away at this point. Once inside the copter Jack observed a team of four bio safety suited individuals now busily fumbling around with what appeared to be a medical box of some sort? Suddenly a large empty needle was produced and pointed towards Jack indicating they presumably wanted a sample of his blood? Knowing there was no point in resisting Jack held out his arm as a sharp prick pierced his perfect skin. Seconds later the withdrawn blood was examined and tested via a complex set of procedures until in unison each of the four rescuers nodded a yes motion then dismounted their head gear! Once all safety helmets were removed Jack nearly fell off his seat as unbelievably he discovered one of the rescuers was in fact Janita Jovino, smiling in admiration towards him!

Lost for words the only thing Jack could think to say was 'How did you know, how could you possibly know?' To which a obviously happy to see him again Janita replied 'The code name for this virus is "J" It was now at this exact moment Jack looked to the ground below, realizing they were situated above his parents demolished house which was oddly struck by the only extra large meteorite!

### Bird Shit

Hidden in plain view, a revolution is about to begin. Bertie and Truffle are just two of your typical average everyday New York City pigeons that happen to swear a lot!

"Coo Coo"

"Fuck, you sound just like a pigeon!"

"That's the idea"

"How fucking dumb are those humans"

"Yep, if only they knew we can talk"

"Stupid cunts, can't even fly"

"Wankers, just a pack of loser wankers, that's all they are"

"Amen brother, amen"

And with that off to the air they took looking for something or someone to drop a big sloshy multicolored shit on. You could say it's the way a New York pigeon does art! Besides what is art really? It's all about perception and interpretation, things sure do look a lot different from up above. On more than one occasion Truffle proclaimed himself to be the Van Gough of the bird world. In fact Truffle even claimed to have created the perfect circle of shit one day (from over one hundred feet up) Sadly just as finally he convinced the whole flock to go and confirm this miraculous feat, it starting raining! Many of his feathered friends remain skeptical of this fine achievement but Truffle is sticking to his guns and claiming it as true!

Not so brash, Bertie is slightly more subdued when it comes to self-promotion. After all being an expert "marksman" is something one should be humble about. Although, as opposed to Truffles one big boast, Bertie had on the spot witnesses to his greatest claim to fame. The one in a million achievement of landing a freshly laid airborne shit into a human's mouth just as they were starting a sneeze! Even now, years later at every meeting of the flock he is always asked to retell the story! There is always an abundance of newbies wanting to relive day Bertie landed a wet one into an unsuspecting human's mouth. Truly the stuff of feathered legends!

"Ok just one more time and then that's it you cunts, no fucking more. (until the next time) Well we had just come back from shitting on that fucking big green statue thing, The Slutty of Liberty when I told the gang I was still holding back a little of the sloshy stuff! I can't remember who it was? But someone at the back dared me to drop it onto one of those dipshit humans below! To which I replied "I can go one better. I will drop it into one of stupid dipshits mouths! Of course no one believed I could actually do it, but I knew it was springtime and those stupid fuckers suffering allergies would be sneezing their tits off! You could say it was the perfect storm. A strong headwind and plenty of targets all choking up on pollen and other shit floating about in the wind! It was a good day to be a bird, actually it was a fucking great day to be a bird"

"My only stipulation was that we needed to be over the park, after all I needed some good clean airspace to drop a sloshy on one of those unsuspecting fucks! I also decided to target a big fat cunt so when they went to sneeze there would be a time delay as they opened up their fat gob to achooo. We did one full lap of Central Park before I spotted the poor fuck who was gonna be eating my shit. Soon enough I started working the shit bomb up to my bum hole in readiness to dump my load of stinky slosh! It was fucking perfect! I really think that poor loser was actually looking up at us when I went in for the kill shot. I calculated that it would take about two seconds to hit the target from about fifty feet up. What also made for the perfect scenario was that the dumb fuck was walking past the flowers when I finally squeezed that big wet one out!"

Totally captivated Bertie's audience begged him to continue, as now Bertie's wry smile opened up even wider.

"Once I got it out and shook my ass a little that shit just seemed to hone in on him like a fucking guided missile. I even have witnesses that heard me declare it was a successful kill shot. Well before fatso opened up wide to sneeze! I am not sure if anyone else heard me do a loud coo to make him look to the sun? I can confirm they all heard me declare success before he swallowed it! Fuck, I almost fell outta the sky when he opened that fat trap up at exactly as I had planned. The sight of him choking on my shit and then realizing that is was indeed fresh from the sky just totally cracked me up! I was really grateful to think all the gang witnessed it. I was just so fucking proud to be a pigeon that day. Ah good times and memories for sure"

Feeling a little ruffled, Truffle quickly chirped in "Shut the fuck up, we all know you're a fucking genius. But until you land a wet one on a cat you're just another shmuck like the rest of us poor feathered cunts!" Unsure if Truffle was joking or actually putting out a serious challenge Bertie chose not to reply until he pondered the possible challenge for a little longer? Could it really be done without becoming one of those furry asshole feline's dinner? Seeking to float his boat just a little further Truffle looked to a bewildered newbie to the flock then loudly replied to a non-existent question "Oh how did I get my name? Great question, ok I'll tells ya. Well when I first left the egg my parents stood back and went WOW look at his vibrant shade of brown. He sure looks like royalty! (Well as close to royalty as a pigeon can get I guess) So after a few moments careful thought they decided I should be named after something only the rich folk would indulge in, truffles. So you could say I'm high class unlike that gray bit of pigeon shit Bertie who flew in from the smoke stained shipping yards of the dirty side river!"

Bertie wryly smiled in silent recognition of Truffle's handy piece of timing. After all we take whatever victories we can get it seems! (Bertie had come close to mentioning that Human Shit was a similar shade of brown but decided to keep his silence) Instead Truffle just gave a cheeky wink in acknowledgement of Bertie's subdued response to his baiting comments, well played Bertie, well played. One thing is paramount when you are a pigeon and that is to be able to rely on your wingman. Reassuringly both Bertie and Truffle knew they always had each other's back. Well beyond some fun fool hardy shit stirring amongst friends. The New York crew as they call themselves consists of at least one hundred thousand members and the pairing up of wingmen can quite often be a lottery. However in Bertie and Truffle's case is was a twist of fate would create their partnership.

Not that he would ever say it out loud but Truffle has always been rather grateful to Bertie for saving his ass. The lucky escape was to become known as The Fake Food Incident. Truffle shared the story "Over the Eastside of the Bridge word got out that there was a regular supply of fresh bread being dumped, apparently for all the birds? Over the next couple of days the amount of bread seemed to grow and grow! It was crumb heaven and soon enough word of this magnificent offering soon got out to many of the city's feathered folk. Within two days there were possibly five or six thousand of us pigeons, all gauging ourselves until we could barely fly! In retrospect, I guess I should have smelled a rat but the rest of the flock didn't seem too fussed. So why the fuck would I have been? Shit, there was even the odd muffin thrown in for good luck! Just a day or two old at most, perfect."

Impatient, Bertie looked to Truffle, indicating it was time to divulge the scam. "Oh yes of course, well we all got so comfortable with our new food supply that no-one bothered to keep an eye out for any sign of impending danger? Basically we were just fucking pigging out to the max with no real thought to why this grand feast had suddenly appeared? After one week, we got lazy and way too comfortable. After each feed most of us fat bastards would then have a nap, right where we ate. Fuck flying I am too full! Then on about the ninth or tenth day many of the flock began to sway from side to side as they filled their bellies. I was also feeling a bit woozy by now. What the fuck is going on I wondered? Although half fucked, I happened to notice Bertie swooping down to alert the flock that it was all a clever trap. Luckily for me that fucking champion Bertie had chosen to land just near me and warn those who would listen that it was time to get the fuck outta Dodge City!"

Looking more than a little bit pleased with himself Bertie nodded his approval of Truffle's recollection of events up to this point.

"At first I told him to shut the fuck up and just enjoy our newly found banquet! However Bertie would have no part of it as again and again he nudged me towards the outside of the feasting area. I was wobbling all over the place and none too eager to follow his instructions! But Bertie got a little louder and told me if I didn't want to become Pigeon Pie I better start moving my ass, quickly! Suddenly the next moment all I could see was the flashing silhouette of a rising net lofting upwards into the air and as we all fucking know, what goes fucking up will come the fuck down! Thank fuck that Bertie was there, because before any of us realized what the fuck was going on the net was fast dropping down to trap the whole fucking bunch us. Problem was most of us were really fucked up and unable to take off in time to escape. Luckily Bertie had kept on nudging me right to the outer perimeter of the grand feast. In fact as the net hit the ground I was lucky enough to be beyond its reach and that poor hero cunt Bertie was now trapped!"

Looking back to Bertie, Truffle waited for Bertie to give an approving nod to continue with the story. A smiling Bertie silently nodded and Truffle restarted.

"Well by now, adrenalin had kicked in and thankfully I was aware of Bertie's dilemma! With no time to spare I started lifting and pulling up the heavy net with my beak. Thankfully I was able to raise it up just high enough that Bertie got his head underneath the outside seam and escaped. Meanwhile the rest of the flock were now being dragged to their destiny, pigeon pie! Yep, the whole fucking lot of them were sadly going to become dinner for a number of crafty homeless folk. As it turns out, all the bread was actually spiked with cheap wine that pretty much fucked the entire bunch of us. Later on we figured out they were adding just a bit more each day until finally we were all too fucked up to fly. Sneaky bastards managed to trap at least three, maybe four thousand of us! It would have been one more if it were not for clever Bertie! Simply put, that champ Bertie saved my fucking ass and that's why I always gonna be his loyal wingman and grateful as all fuck!"

Spontaneous cheers loudly echoed throughout the loft as all of Bertie's admirers voiced their heartfelt gratitude for a true heroe's actions. Truffle looked over to the all conquering Bertie then graciously bowed down in recognition of a job very well done! The New York Crew has a long history with many stories of bravery. Sadly, more often than not the hero of the story never lives to tell the tale. This was one of those rare moments the hero gets to share in the story's retelling! Good shit Bertie, fucking good shit dude! After the ruckus died down a little it was time to contemplate the challenge put previously forth. Drop a wet sloppy shit of one of them furry asshole felines. After all they fucking deserve it, cunts! How many of the flock have we lost to them up to now? Half the time they don't even finish us off properly! They just play with us until we are completely fucked and then leave us for the rats to nibble on. Only the lucky ones get their head's bitten off and fast death, cunts! They are just furry fucking cunts that truly do deserve a face full of pigeon shit!

Suddenly to the utter surprise of all in attendance came the voice no-one ever expected to hear. It was the legendary Pigeon Pete, the fattest, blackest pigeon of them all! Pigeon Pete was the flock's unofficial leader and when he spoke all listened and furthermore, obeyed! He is what you would call a true "Living Legend" A mantle he has held ever since the day he escaped his handler's coup after being brought over from England for some fancy long distance race back to where he originated from. Although Pete had other plans and the instant all the other racers were released he simply flew over to Central Park and started eating. Up to this point he has not stopped. More than once he has been labeled a big fat prick, but never to his face! Some say his rough cockney accent is part of the reason he stands out so much. Whether you like him or hate him. One thing is certain, Pigeon Pete's word is law in this flock! To hear him speak means something serious is surely underway or about to happen. Once all the whispers died down, Pete began.

"Shut the fuck up you feathered fuckwits, it seems we have a little business to attend to, and might I say, not before time. Those cats have been chewing our asses off for as long as time it's self and up to now not one of us has shown any desire to retaliate! Why the fuck not? We have the advantage you dumb cunts. Remember it is us, the birds that can fly! Not those furry feline fucks! At last today, for the first time in my life I have heard the words of rebellion I never expected to hear. About fucking time I say! However the question is, why just shit on one cat when we can shit on them all? That is the real question at hand! We all know a good feed of rotten fruit gives us the runs, so why not share it? Just think of all those fancy feline pets proudly strutting along with their fancy fucking diamond leads in Manhattan getting covered by our sloppy ones as their horrified owners freak out! Fucking brilliant, simply fucking brilliant. Or how about those mangy bits of shit that hang out in the Bronx? What the fuck makes them so special? I say fuck them all, it's time to fight back! It is time to take to the skies and unload an unprecedented storm of shit onto each and everyone of those dirty mangy fuckers! Who is with me?"

The loft erupted into admiring cheers of "Pigeon Pete, Pigeon Pete" Which was slightly amusing when you considered that he would not likely be anywhere near the firing line. After all, someone has to co-ordinate these attacks, don't they? No we won't be seeing Pete at the frontline anytime soon. Every army needs its generals at the rear to make the hard decisions and strategize! Truffle was feeling quite chuffed at this point, after all it was him that got this whole rebellion under way, whether he meant to or not. Bertie always had a lot of faith in his own abilities. He was a top gun and already had the score on the board. He was not too fussed about this new pigeon lead revolution. Others in the flock were not so experienced and would look to Bertie and even Truffle for advice. Honored, they were both were happy to help. After all, it is officially now a time of war! What a pity no one bothered to tell the cats. Squadrons and leaders were soon formed, even supply routes. After all you need an assload of shit to go to war with, so ya gotta stock up! Pigeon Pete wanted Truffle and Bertie to have their own attack force but Truffle reminded Pete that he was Bertie's wingman and now more than ever he had a big debt to repay.

When questioned about what he really hoped to achieve, Pigeon Pete simply smiled then stated "Total Humiliation" The revolution had began as scouts now regularly flew out to identify the best target areas. Secondary targets would also be required. After all we want the entire feline population to experience our wraith, don't we! Newbies to the flock went out on reconnaissance flights and soon learned where to get their fill of rotten fruit reloads (markets, private gardens and parks) Over fifty squadrons were now active and ready for war! At regular intervals Pigeon Pete would recite well practiced words of wisdom and heroic tales from The Battle of Briton. A curious approach when you considered that there would be no actual dogfights in this battle, just birds and land bound cats. It was even possible that Pete had lost a little of that extra weight as often he marched throughout his army's ranks enthusiastically repeating "Drop your bombs wisely, drop your bombs wisely chaps" Pete even came up with a name for the mission, C-day! A day that would go down in history as the moment all the pigeons fought back, the day the shit hit the fan and covered all the cats, even kittens!

With numerous practice runs successfully repeated, C-day was edging closer and closer. Revenge was near, revenge was going to be sweet (only if you were a bird) Time and time again Bertie relived the story of how he dropped the perfect shit into a human's mouth. To say his well rehearsed words inspired many of the flocks newbies would be an understatement. Unashamedly most newbies soon declared to keep a score for future bragging rights. Finally C-day was now only two days away when word came back to the flock that five more members had been lost to cats in just one day! Many of the eager pilots demanded to take immediate action but wisely Pete reminded all the current high winds would create havoc with their aiming in on chosen targets (feline cunts) No, much more prudent to stick with the plan and make the most of this historical attack on those fucking cats! Over the years C-day would surely come to be known as "The Day the Pigeons fought back!"

At last, C-day had arrived and none too soon as by now most of the flock were getting a little bored with all the non combat based rehearsals. They had a butt full of shit and it was time to spread it all over those fucking cats! Feeling invigorated, Pigeon Pete would be up and about an hour before the rest of the flock. In fact he even flapped those grounded wings for the first time in years, nothing wrong with a little day dreaming for this general! During the previous day some of the flock had discovered a stash of fermented grapes and were suffering a slight hangover, but not bad enough to curve any of their enthusiasm! Hatchlings that were too young for battle were instructed to cheer loudly for their older siblings as they bravely took to the skies! As planned, it was a glorious day with little to no wind! Many felt an extra boost of confidence in the knowledge that all their training would be used on this most perfect of days. Hyped up, Truffle and Bertie did some wing stretches and a bit of rapid head bobbing just to loosen up a little.

As the new dawn arrived Pigeon Pete proudly called all his pilots to action, C-day was officially here! "Go, go now, go cover every last one of those furry fuckers in shit!" and with that single command all squadrons swiftly took to the air. Once airborne the flock diverted off to all directions without a hitch, seems practice really does make perfect! High and low, South, East, North and West, pigeons were everywhere! A few of the newbies soon found the excitement to be a little too much as frustratingly they prematurely dropped their load. "Keep it in lads, keep it in!" Came the stern words of each squadron leader. Tight formations swerved and banked their way towards the many well chosen targets. Areas near the fish markets and rubbish tips were allocated two squadrons due to the number of expected felines! Twenty squadrons, each with a minimum of five thousand pigeons were now well armed and dangerous! Of course it was expected that unfortunately there would be some collateral damage (Humans) The general consensus was that you are stupid enough to walk a cat on a lead down the street, well we are also gonna dump on you! Or as Bertie so bluntly put it "Bad luck for you Yuppie Fucks"

Forward scouts reached favored targets. If deemed good results could be achieved they would fly in circles waiting for the squadron to arrive and dive bomb those fuckers! Bertie and Truffle had a particular liking for dumping on Yuppies. So their chosen destination was to be Manhattan. Just think, all those assholes walking their "fluffy well groomed" cats were gonna be in for one hell of a fucking shock! Talk about good fun. Allocated messengers would regularly fly back to the loft to inform Pigeon Pete of all successes and losses (if any?) Then, in what seemed no time at all the first two squadrons arrived at the fish markets. Up ahead came the wonderful sight of circling scouts. It was officially a "go" for the squadrons. Swiftly swooping down on dumpsters, rubbish bins and other "favored" options a total of ten thousand pigeons successfully unloaded their wet smelly cargo onto the many shocked felines below. A truly magnificent sight! An unforgiving barrage of whitish grey shit saturation thoroughly impacted everything underneath! Startled, "freaked out" cats ran to all directions in faint hope of escaping the attack unscathed! But it was all to no avail as shit covered ground made a slippery clean exit next to impossible! In fact the success of the unimagined shit attack would see some of the swooping pigeons nearly fall out of the sky in laughter! Such was the cat's unexpected dire predicament.

Everywhere to be seen, shit stained cats lay on the ground unconscious from collision injuries or purely from the shock of it all. Only a few would choose to fight back but they too were soon engulfed in a greyish multicolored blanket of pigeon droppings. Some members of the squadron returned for a second, third and even forth dive bomb attack! Somehow, able to keep finding "that little bit extra for the cause" All over the city it was the same heroic scenario, shit covered cats freaking out everywhere! Within minutes of the initial attack on the markets the rest of the city would also succumb to a barrage of vengeful pigeon poo. All aimed at those fucked up feline residents! Cool cats from Brooklyn were unceremoniously saturated in sloppy shit! Bad cats from The Bronx were swearing revenge as desperately they tried to rid themselves of their new stink! Aggrieved cats of Harlem vowed to kill every pigeon they could from now on. As for the manicured cats of Manhattan, they were humiliated and lost for words. Unnerved, owners desperately dragged at their cat's walking leashes in feeble attempts of escape. Depending on what part of the city you were situated in the sky was either filled with flying pigeons or bucket loads of shit raining down to the ground. It was feathered mayhem and Pigeon Pete felt like a young chic again, fucking glorious!

To say that Bertie and Truffle were having the time of their lives would be an understatement! Time and time again they dived down on to drop a load of excrement onto to all those pristine pussies below!

"Bertie there's another one, let's give that furry ass-wipe something to meow about"

"Fuck yeah, I've seen that prick before, in fact that cunt even took a swipe at me once. Revenge will be sweet, I might even try to piss on that one"

"Hey Bertie how about I go first and then you follow up with the best of your worst"

"Ok Truffle, sounds like a plan, let's go shit on a Siamese!"

"Bertie, extra points if you land one or two on the wanker yuppie owner"

"Ha ha... I'm in"

Thoroughly exhilarated, Truffle quickly banked to his left then focused in on his target for the kill shot. For extra speed wings were tucked in to the side of the body. Then at the perfect moment wings would open up wide allowing for a braking maneuver followed on by the release of all his smelly wet cargo. Startled, the yuppie stopped dead in their tracks, it was perfect "Bombs away!" And with that came the sight of one shit covered cat jumping all over a totally shocked owner. Moments later came the follow up attack from Bertie. There was no choice, to dump on the cat meant to also dump on the owner. Ah the casualties of war, besides, Bertie wanted the extra points! By now this was his fourth mission and Bertie's aim seemed to only get better and better with each new attack. In fact Bertie was pretty sure he had actually dropped a sloppy one into the screaming yuppies mouth! Sadly Truffle could neither confirm nor deny this brash claim. One thing was for sure though. C-day had been a complete success! By now even the local news were starting to take notice of this strange phenomenon. In fact one news crew reported a shit-stained cat seeking shelter from the stinky storm raining down from above had managed to jump into their moving vehicle!

It was airborne mayhem and depending where you were situated there was a good chance that you might be a little worse for wear as well as the cats. Winged messengers regularly reported the good news back to Pigeon Pete. He desperately yearned to be a part of the action! Closer and closer he edged towards the old loft's broken window exit, closer and closer to the action! More than once when no one was watching he flapped his unfit wings, pretending to take off and join in. For probably the first time in quite a while Pigeon Pete may have possibly regretted his lack of flying practice? Uptown, downtown, it was all the same, utter chaos! Some cats were so shit stained that when they returned home to their owner's denied entry! "You stink of shit, you're not coming in here, no stay the fuck out!" Other felines were not so lucky and ended up under moving vehicles wheels as they desperately tried to escape, squelch! In fact so many cats were running into shops the regular sight of a kicked cat flying back out the shop's doorway was not uncommon. Some of the frantic felines even chose to get wet and dived into the sewers, such was their sheer panic. C-day would undoubtedly go down in history as the day the pigeons fought back. The day the cats fell flat on their face!

For Bertie and Truffle the day could not have been a better success. Each claimed to have successfully struck numerous targets. In fact both claimed the fighter pilot title of "Ace" with five or more confirmed shit filled strikes to their name. Curiously though Truffle noticed Bertie appeared to be just a little let down?

"What's up Bertie?"

"That fuckwit tabby that I hate so much was nowhere to be seen? Fuck I would have liked to have dumped one on that furry prick!"

"Oh I thought you knew? He's still around but is now living a block or two back in the high-rise. In fact I have seen him outside on the apartment's balcony as recently as only yesterday. It seems his owner puts him out there sometimes"

"You know what Truffle, I really didn't think I had anything left inside but I got the feeling I might just be able to do one more mission. Especially if it means I can spray some shit on that ginger covered cunt?

"Well I am running on empty Bertie but I sure would like to see you dump a wet one on him! Hey let's go and try our luck, he could be outside right now? I sure would hate for him to miss all the fun, bird's revenge fun!"

Moments later the inspired pair were back in the air heading upwards for one last mission. Time to tarnish that spoilt tabby cat with some multicolored shit stains! Up and up the duo ascended until finally reaching the high-rise's penthouse (wow that cat's owner sure was a rich prick) landing on the roof Bertie and Truffle were able observe the balcony below. However there was no sighting the desired target. Perhaps he was locked in? Truffle offered to do a fly by and investigate a little further. Seconds later he was back on the roof.

"Well I couldn't see him but there are some shady patches, perhaps he is sleeping?

"Anything else worth noting?"

"Yes, I did notice that the balcony door has in fact have a cat door, he can go in and out anytime he likes!"

"Let's wait for just a bit and if we can't see that asshole soon we will drop a load full in that furry cunt's dinner instead!"

"Ha Ha .. sounds like a grand plan"

Waiting for the chance to dump again, Bertie and Truffle relived some of the highlights of this historic day. Yep C-day had surely been a great victory for the pigeons! Maybe we should do another one next year? After what felt like half an hour or so an impatient Bertie decided to just drop a load in tabby's dinner bowl and leave. It was time to get back to the loft and begin the celebrations of a very successful C-day! Gliding down, his wings opened up wide allowing for soft landing near the food bowl. It was a little risky when you considered it's proximity to the cat door but in Bertie's mind this day could not be considered a true success unless this fancy fucker also experienced some of these triumphant birds wrath! Besides, how long does it take to drop a load? Normally not too long! Truffle stayed up on the roof to keep a watchful eye on things, no point taking too many chances. Focusing in on the close by cat door Bertie carefully positioned his backside over the food bowl then proceeded to let one rip! Much to his delight he managed to spray shit everywhere, some even went into the water bowl!

Perfect, just a little wiggle to get rid of the last bits and we're out of here! A contented Bertie looked up to Truffle indicating it was time to go! Suddenly out from one of the only shaded areas of the balcony came the tabby cat! "Fuck!" Startled, Bertie valiantly attempted to take to the air but had no choice other than to fly straight ahead, resulting in a collision with the balcony door. Feathers fell as a stunned Bertie flapped for his life while closer and closer the tabby cat honed in on his position. From up top a horrified Truffle screamed out "Bertie!" But it was all to no avail as now the angered tabby cat's striking paw forcefully connected with the hapless Bertie. The strike was swift and precise as again a shocked Bertie hit the balcony door attempting to escape. Things were not looking good for Bertie as the spiteful tabby clawed away at his chosen target. Each strike seemed to diminish Bertie's usually strong resolve! Up top Truffle knew it was time to act or see his buddy Bertie perish!

Airborne and seeking extra speed Truffle kept his wings close to his body while pointing his beak directly to the tabby's face. He could only hope the resulting impact would startle the tabby enough to allow for Bertie's escape. Bang! "take that you cunt" Truffle screamed out as deeply his beak inserted into the tabby's right eye. Instant pain and complete surprise would see the traumatized tabby's attention turn away from Bertie to concentrate on Truffle, success! Finally, Bertie now has a chance! Vengeful claws furiously swiped in all directions hoping to bring Truffle down to the ground where he would soon become pigeon pie. Skillfully maneuvering backwards Truffle somehow managed to stay out of reach, but for how long? By now Bertie was back on his feet and finally away from the door. At last it was time to escape. Disturbingly though the tabby's full attention had by now returned to his main target. Airborne but not quite high enough the injured Bertie frantically flew towards the balcony's wall to escape over the edge! It was a courageous effort but unfortunately a little bit too slow because as just he reached the wall so did the enraged tabby!

In an epic struggle of feathers, fur and claws the two combatants migrated closer and closer to the edge. Up above, again Truffle swooped down attempting to distract the tabby. However this time the enraged tabby remained steadfastly focused on his victim as each swipe of his sharp claws drew a weakened Bertie closer to death! Sensing the end was near desperately Bertie flapped flustered feathers with all his might! Defiantly, Truffle swooped down again, however this time around his valiant actions had little effect! All seemed lost until miraculously the ever tenacious Bertie managed to escape the tabby's grip just long enough to make it to the edge of the balcony wall. Unsure if he could even fly there was no time to stop, Bertie had to go over the edge! Broken wings and feathers frantically tried to gain lift and direction away from the balcony as only two feet back a furious tabby contemplated the missed opportunity. Side to side their feline foe maneuvered, waiting for a chance to continue the fight. Meanwhile, up above Truffle took the time to make one more spiteful swoop at the tabby.

Heroically Truffle managed to once more impact the tabby cat's head with his beak. The strike was strong enough to infuriate the tabby. Angrily he swung around only to see truffle was also now hovering over the edge in perceived safety. Then without warning came an occurrence the two pigeons least expected? Unbelievably, came the sight of an airborne tabby cat about to impact both of them. Crash! The three airborne bodies collided. Wings, claws and fur instantly entwined to create a twisted mess of cat and bird plummeting towards the ground below! Faster and faster the tangled trio fell downwards to the waiting bitumen. Desperately the two pigeons tried to break free of the tabby cat's vice like grip! However the vengeful tabby had managed to inflict way too much damage for these birds to ever fly again, the end was near. Biting away in anger it was highly likely the bitter tabby had actually forgotten to consider it's own fate in this scenario, death was guaranteed! Perhaps this malicious ginger critter fully understood his impending fate and simply didn't care? Either way a moment later all three hit the sidewalk with such force all bodies immediately split open to reveal a mixed up mass of intestines, entrails, lungs, livers and popped out shattered eyeballs!

"Hello is anyone there? Bertie can you hear me, I can't see a thing" "Yes Truffle I can hear you but I can't see anything either?" "Bertie can you fly?"

"Strange I can feel my wings but it's so dark I can't tell if I am actually flying?"

"Yep same here, it's weird alright, what do you remember?"

"I can remember hitting the ground but then it's like I kept falling!"

"Hey same here, strange stuff for sure"

"What was that purring noise I wonder?"

Suddenly this private conversation was abruptly interrupted by a series of bright reddish yellow iridescent flaming explosions. Eventually subsiding back down into the surrounding darkness as next came a third voice into the conversation.

"Ah you're finally awake, perfect, I've been waiting"

"Bertie is that you?"

"No!"

"Well who the hell is it then?"

"Ah fancy that, you guessed it already"

"Guessed what, who are you, where are we?"

Before any further questions could be asked erupting from the dark abyss arrived the second coming of multiple sporadic flame explosions! Loudly bursting out high and low from near and from afar!

"Truffle, what did that voice mean by we guessed it?"

"Bertie, I got the strange feeling it meant we have guessed where we are?"

"Where are we?"

"I'm not sure but I think we might be in Hell?"

Even stronger, brighter explosions of flaming light now violently invaded the darkness. Then just as before suddenly died back down as once again the mysterious voice spoke

"Ah, you have guessed well, yes this is indeed the place you mortals might call Hell and it is going to be your home until the end of eternity. I can't wait to tell you what horrors are in store for you both"

"For us?"

"But why?"

"Ah, I see the problem, or should I say you can't see the problem. Let me amend the situation so all is clear in your minds..........Meow, Meow"

Random jagged bolts of lighting shot out of the darkness to any and all directions until finally a stable light force grew from underneath the two stricken pigeons! Looking down they realized they were positioned upon what appeared to be boiling malt and lava! Strangely much to their combined relief it became apparent there was no associated pain? It didn't make sense? How could they be standing on something so hot and not be suffering the effects? Although it was what appeared next that would really blow their minds! Slowly, rising up from nearby melting red rock emerged the silhouette of a ginormous cat shaped creature adorned with extremely predominant horns. These were long sharp dangerous horns belonging to an entity void of the Earth's surface. Accompanying this bizarre sight came numerous sounds of distorted spine chilling laughter! It was only now the realization of Bertie and Truffle's true predicament finally dawned upon them. They were indeed situated in the insidious place known as Hell. Worse still, from what they could tell, the Devil was a cat! A big mean sinister cat seeking to create eternal nightmares for all newcomers, especially birds!

With no place to run or hide Bertie and Truffle could only wait for this furry dark feline based creature from Hell to disclose their waiting fate?

"Ah, I hear you like to hurt cats? Why is that so?......answer me!"

"Sir are you sure you have the correct birds, we are just a couple of easy going pigeons from New York City who had a bit of a run in with one of your feline friends. It was nothing serious I assure you" Bertie desperately pleaded

"Ah so you seek to embellish the truth just a little, Ha Ha Ha, so do I. Here is an example, I wont hurt you, Ha Ha Ha"

"Hey that fucking cat started it!" blurted out a rebellious Truffle

"Ah, silence I have made my decision!"

Seconds later emanating from underneath grew an indescribable radiating heat burning sharply at their feet. Instinctively they each attempted to fly away from the danger, only to find their wings had been stripped of feathers. Amongst growing bouts of disturbing laughter the dark entity finally turned to face the two horrified pigeons.

"Let me introduce you to the rest of eternity I have carefully planned for you. I think you should like it! After all you claim to be good friends with my feline associates. Especially the ones from the day you like to call C-day"

Conveniently a concentrated spotlight brightly focused on a rising catwalk platform leading directly to the terrified duo. Unable to move and suffering hot foot Bertie and Truffle would then witness a procession of torn broken up dead cats marching in a single line, directly towards them. Then, much to their utter shock they identified the first in line as the Tabby cat from the balcony! Worryingly his claws appeared to be growing longer and longer with each and every stride. A devilish smile indicated he was going to thoroughly enjoy the impending task at hand. All too soon the Tabby cat was upon them as now he swiftly swung razor sharp clews deeply into Bertie and Truffle. Breathless and terrified Bertie looked over to Truffle only to see a mirror image of his pain! Although before they could speak to each other came a second piercing strike, then a third! All up, over one thousand revenge driven cats were traveling the line. Each seeking to disperse their own special form of justice! All the hapless Bertie and Truffle could do was to try and catch a quick breath before the next strike, then the following strike!

"Ah I see you are making old acquaintances, I forgot to mention that once the line finishes. It will all start over again, again and again. But don't worry, it's only until the end of eternity!" Laughed the evil furry Devil

Moments later came the thudding sound of a new arrival interrupting the Devil's speech. Much to the Devil's sheer delight it was the sight of a mangled up Pigeon Pete who sadly fell to his death while trying to fly out from the loft for first time in years!

Looking mightily pleased with himself the Devil pointed to Bertie and Truffle then proudly declared "We have saved a place for you...welcome to Hell!"

### Roses Are Red

The various colors in our lives may be darker than we expect

For the last twenty-four years Herbert Brushell has managed to win the annual Frail County Flower Show Best Rose Award, quite an achievement indeed. How does he do it? Year after year! What makes his roses so red? What is Herbert's secret ingredient? A perplexing question that has been asked time and time again by all of his jealous competitors, including his extremely nosey next door neighbor Thomas Dickson.

"Herbert as usual your roses are impeccable! Are you going to win again this year?"

"I always do"

"Hey what's your secret?"

"Ha ha, now that's a funny question!"

"No seriously, why are your roses always so red?"

"Well if I told you I would have to kill you"

And with that Herbert turned his back on the nosey neighbor then retreated to the sanctuary of his front porch. Herbert just loves sitting on that porch and watching over his roses! When discussing his success, some say it his attention to detail, just the correct amount of fertilizer. Some say he whispers to them late at night when no one else is watching? Some even say it's the Devil's work and that he sold his soul to achieve all of those "flora based accolades" One thing is certain though, no one will ever repeat his amazing success! Well not without cheating of some kind. Herbert always claims it was his wife's secret fertilizer recipe that has helped his success for the past twenty-four years. Strangely his wife Gertrude, has been missing for the last twenty-four years, coincidence? Many have pondered this strange occurrence, more than once. He loses his wife but then wins the Rose Show for twenty-four years straight!

Unlike many of the other competitors, Herbert only ever concentrates his efforts to one category, Red Roses. Perhaps this is his big secret? Pay full attention to detail without distraction, pure dedication to just one category, Red Roses. This how he has always done it and would not likely change a winning formula now. Nope, no way, if it works well then don't change it is the motto. A motto that has made a few enemies along the way. Nearby Thomas Dickson eagerly watches Herbert's every move, perhaps he will slip up and accidently give the secret away? Maybe it's better to water the roses at night? Maybe it's better to water them just before the dawn? For years now Thomas has been at his wits end trying to figure exactly why Herbert is the undisputed "King of the Roses" Thomas's interest is bordering on obsession and he may not be the only one. There is a perplexing mystery here and some folk just love to try and solve a good mystery!

For most of the local amateur investigators the fact that Herbert's wife went missing just as he started regularly winning best prize is the main point of contention. What is the connection? For neighbor Thomas, it's all getting a bit much. He is hell bent on solving this conundrum, no matter what the consequences! As any half decent investigator would know, chances will have to be taken. Thomas has decided to ramp up his surveillance in the hope of formulating a plan to expose the truth, what will he discover? Perhaps he will uncover something so sinister Herbert will be unceremoniously stripped of all previous awards? Now that would surely be true justice! Thomas also has another backup plan. This year he will be showing Violets as well. Diversity may be the only solution if he cannot present evidence of Herbert's foul play to the judges.

After being neighbors for so long Thomas has a pretty good idea of Herbert's daily routine but just to be sure he will now keep a diary of his neighbors every move. Up to this point of his life Thomas has always been a law abiding citizen, but it might be time to cross that line between good citizen and first prizewinner! Ultimately, if he has to break the law, well Thomas just might? After all isn't winning about taking chances, doing whatever you have to get past the winners post first! Yes the gloves will definitely be off for this year's Frail County Flower Show. For the following hours upon hours Thomas carefully observed his neighbor from the stealth of his front room. Nothing too much out of the ordinary! Until just like last year and the previous years for some reason a medical courier arrives, two days in a row? Is this a connection the magical ingredient? Intrigued, Thomas writes down the courier's company name and then rings to make an inquiry call

"Hello my name is Thomas "Smith" May I ask what medical supplies you specialize in?"

"Well we just deliver, but the bulk of our parcels are of a Pathology based, you know, intravenous blood and plasma plugs and tubing. Normally the bulk of deliveries are blood based products, hope that helps?"

"Yes that sure does, in fact can you give me the name of the supplier so I can order some general supplies, you never know when you're gonna need it!"

Thomas hung up the phone then instantly began to think about why Herbert would need this kind of supplies? He always seems happy and healthy, perhaps not too talkative but that does not mean much. However he has never really been very sociable come to think of it? Then it occurred to Thomas that after being Herbert's neighbor for most of his life they have never even shared a friendly hot coffee or any other kind of neighborly brew. Wow, not even Christmas Eggnog with a little too much rum and a laugh. Talk about a crappy neighbor! Silently Thomas conceded to himself it takes two to form a good friendship, a neighborly friendship. Thomas recalled some chatty moments with Gertrude and Herbert when she was around but not too much conversation after her disappearance. Maybe Herbert resented our chats? Maybe he blames me for the unsolved mystery of Gertrude Brushell who seemed to simply just vanish from the face of the Earth.

Come to think of it, didn't they have a dog? Yes, that's right it was that horrible little yappy black Poodle they called Fluffy! What's even stranger is that this dog seemed to disappear about the same time as Herbert's wife. Thomas tried hard to think of anything he may have seen all those years ago, but his mind came up blank. It was way too long ago to really remember any untoward details about either disappearance. Still it did seem rather odd when you have a good think about it all. Loving wife and a family pet, simultaneously vanishing from the face of the Earth? Frustrated, Thomas returned to his viewing position "Wow those roses sure look deep red today, must be the angle of the sunlight?" Long minutes became slow hours as quietly Thomas carefully surveyed all the aspects of his neighbor's front yard. In the end all he could solidly conclude was whatever Herbert was doing in previous years, he was up to it again. Dam, those roses look good!

The next morning a weary Thomas awoke to find himself positioned in the same chair he had spent most of the previous day sitting on. It was time to stretch those legs a bit, besides his second place garden also needed some water and attention. Come to think of it, a walk around the block right afterwards would be a good idea! Thomas and Herbert's houses were only minutes away from the main street of Frail County, quite often something was happening in this part of town. Today would be no different as Thomas soon discovered. Badly injured, a pedestrian lay motionless in the blocked off Main Street. Emergency Paramedics hurriedly inserted plasma fluid lines into the critically injured persons broken body. Normally in an unsettling situation like this Thomas would force himself to look away but the sight of intravenous fluid lines protruding from the patient's arms caught his attention. Why would his neighbor need such items? Away from the accident zone Thomas couldn't shake the sight of so much spilt blood from his mind.

Sixty minutes later Thomas reached the outskirts of town. Still lost in the memories of the previous hour's drama it suddenly occurred to Thomas, if you can put fluid into a human body with an intravenous line. Well surely you could take fluid out. Next moment Thomas stopped dead in his tracks, of course, the blood, the fluid lines! Suddenly it all made sense, somehow Herbert was using blood and the intravenous fluid lines to make his roses so blood red, but how? Heading back towards home Thomas sighted a speeding ambulance, most likely the one from the accident up Main Street. At this point he felt somewhat justified in concluding that Herbert was possibly using blood to gain an advantage over his fellow rose growers in the Frail County Flower Show. Feeling just a little frazzled from the long walk. Thomas soon found himself inadvertently lost in the various scenarios of how Herbert was using blood to enhance his prize winning roses appearance.

Perhaps Herbert was "donating" his own blood and adding it to the water? Maybe he was drying it out and then adding it the soil? Or was he up to something else? As far as Thomas was concerned, one thing was for sure, Herbert had been doing this for a long time. This was definitely a mystery that needs to be solved or I may never sleep again a perplexed Thomas told himself. The big question was how to uncover the truth? Perhaps steal one of his prize wining beauties and get it tested? Nah, too expensive and probably inconclusive? Maybe buy some surveillance cameras and watch his every move from dusk to dawn? Hang on, isn't that what I've been doing for the last couple of days! No, there would have to be another way? After many hours of contemplation, eventually Thomas conceded there could be no choice other than to break into Herbert's house to uncover the truth. Who knows, there may even be some clues as to Herbert's missing wife's whereabouts?

Thomas has a pretty good idea of Herbert's habits, including the days he goes shopping or to the nursery. Thomas felt quite confident he would be able to sneak in and leave without Herbert being none the wiser! The only tool required, one stepladder to get over the back side fence and into the bathroom window, which was always left open, easy peasy! Luckily tomorrow was Friday and predictably Herbert always gets some supplies for the weekend. Then in full the knowledge no-one else could possibly hear him an excited Thomas loudly screamed out "tomorrow it is then!" After a sleepless night the next morning was to see an anxious Thomas positioned at his front window in anticipation of his impending break in. Just gotta make sure Herbert's out of the house! Soon enough his neighbor had routinely finished the daily garden duties and was heading for the car's garage to go and get all the required weekend supplies. The time to solve this mystery had finally arrived! With stepladder positioned within arm's reach Thomas was ready for action. At last came the sound of Herbert's old Chevy starting up, not long now!

These days Thomas is on the wrong side of fifty but somehow felt like a teenager again. There was no denying he was experiencing an adrenalin rush reminding him of his younger days when he was much more daring and willing to push the boundaries. No matter what the outcome, Thomas could only consider the upcoming break in to a neighbor's house quite exhilarating! "Damn, I had nearly forgotten what is like to throw caution to the wind!" Herbert's car was now exiting the driveway and it was time for action "now or never" an excited Thomas declared to himself. Almost tripping over everything in sight, Thomas eventually made it to his backyard, then to the side fence. A few deep breaths later he was climbing up the ladder about to enter Herbert's property. No turning back now a pumped up Thomas contemplated. Nearly at the top of the fence and ready to gather up his stepladder Thomas momentarily believed he could hear Herbert's old Chevy returning? However the noise continued on past the property. By now the eager Thomas was perched up high and ready to jump back into his neighbors yard, what a rush!

Feeling safe to proceed over the fence, with stepladder in hand Thomas made his way to the nearby bathroom window. As usual it was left open and in what seemed no time an all a careful not to break anything Thomas was suddenly all the way inside. One step forwards alerted Thomas to an especially creaky floor, he felt his heart instantly pump out an extra five beats of adrenalin! A few deep breaths later would soon see Thomas edging forwards, ready to leave the bathroom. It was time to get some answers. The one good thing about his neighbor's house was that it was a mirror image of his own due to the fact they were both constructed by the same builder many years ago now. Unsure of what to look for Thomas carefully maneuvered from one room to another. Making sure not to touch anything or leave any trace of his being there. The bedroom's all seemed to be in good order. There was even a photo of Herbert's missing wife Gertrude in the master bedroom. Thomas took a moment to remember her then suddenly felt very guilty about his motives for being in his neighbor's house. Was it all worth it? After all it's just a flower show!

Retreating back towards the bathroom for an honorable exit Thomas decided it might be a little interesting to see what Herbert likes to eat for dinner? After all he is always attending to his garden, what does he eat? Besides, there might be a clue in the refrigerator? "A secret formula or something?" Arriving at the kitchen Thomas observed the backdoor was left ajar "Ha Ha .. I could have just walked in" he chuckled. Looking in various directions, it all seemed in order until Thomas noticed some discarded medical packaging in the open kitchen bin. "Of course the medical supplies, why are they here and what are they for?" Feeling slightly more justified for his intrusion Thomas hastily rummaged through the bin and soon discovered some of the intravenous tubing. It was clean but quite short? Thomas quickly concluded these pieces were off cuts and that the real cause for their use was surely nearby? Surveying all corners of the room it was hoped to identify more clues to this unsolved mystery. Thomas's searching eyes stopped at the fridge, something unknown silently called upon him to open it up and investigate.

Until now Thomas had been at ease and none to fussed about anything sighted inside the house. Yet for some reason this noisy old Kelvinator almost seemed to challenge his manhood? "Gone on, be brave open me up and see all the horrors contained within!" Hesitant, Thomas took a brief moment to take in a deep breath and then slowly edge forwards. With just two footsteps to go he was again alerted to the creaking sounds of the floor below "Of course a trapdoor to the cellar" Looking down then upwards, Thomas found himself torn between two choices, the fridge or the cellar? For the first time Thomas found himself feeling a little apprehensive about his choices and motives for the investigation. Do I really want to know what Herbert's secret is? Will it be worth the nightmares that may come with the answers? Will I be able to live next to him from now on? Am I just a little bit too paranoid? In two minds about it all, Thomas went to turn and exit the kitchen, but the desire to unearth the truth was just too strong as now without any mental debate he swiftly opened up the fridge door. Inside the surprisingly sparse shelves revealed no extra clues.

Slightly relieved to find nothing of mystery solving value in the fridge Thomas went to close the door. As he did so a red container down in the vegetable crisper suddenly caught his attention. Crouching lower to further investigate Thomas observed a red jar like container on its side? A slightly shaking hand carefully pulled at the crisper to reveal the answer? However the crisper was not easy to open as Thomas soon found himself forcefully pulling back on the crisper's handle! Then without any prior warning it gave way to open up as inside the red jar loudly rolled back and forth. Forcing Thomas to wonder if the jar would soon break? Moments later as the loud reddish jar stopped its especially noisy motion Thomas reluctantly reached forwards to retrieve it. Lifting it up, it was noticed the jar's contents consisted of a thick dark red colored slush with flecks of a white gritty substance swirling throughout. Every instinct in Thomas's bones cried out to drop the jar, but he was able to hold firm!

Closer to his face Thomas observed the strange jar was labeled underneath. Checking to make sure the lid was tightly closed Thomas turned the sludge filled jar upside, only to read the words "Blood and Bone" Startled, Thomas instinctively dropped the jar only to have it land on his foot then loudly roll across the floor. It then hit the door and came back to suspiciously rest on the perceived trapdoor to the cellar below. Thomas felt a chill slowly creeping all the up his spine as he unwillingly imagined what might lie beneath? Begrudgingly there could be no walking away now! Concerns about Herbert's expected return also clouded his thoughts. However there was only one real option, which was to open the cellar door and investigate. But first put that creepy red sludge filled jar back into the fridge! If a quick escape was called for Thomas would not want any evidence of his illegal entry to be left behind. Solve the mystery then get out fast was always the plan. Thomas took a moment to catch his breath and consider what may actually be waiting beneath the floor?

Would there be more of these eerie red jars down there or perhaps something worse? Of course it was entirely possible that there would be nothing down there at all? Torn between conflicted thoughts a tentative Thomas found himself unsure of whether to continue on? Solve this damn mystery or retreat back home, always wondering what was in the room below? Looking to the waiting cellar door Thomas recalled the last twenty-four years. Always placing second to Herbert's Blood Red Roses. Then there was the strange disappearance of his wife, even the family dog. Something beyond normal was unfolding here! Thomas knew he couldn't just walk away as now a lowered hand clasped at the cellar's doors handle! It was now time to uncover the truth, come what may. As Thomas pulled his arm back to open up the cellar door it occurred to him, never has he been as scared as at this very moment! Was it because of the red sludge jar in the fridge or was it the thought of getting caught in his neighbor's house? Quick assessment of the situation soon acknowledged it was the fear of the unknown. Just what was Thomas destined to find down there?

Summoning up enough courage to open the cellar door the first unsettling thing Thomas was confronted by would be the strong pungent odor of what appeared to be fertilizer? Impossible to be sure Thomas believed he could also detect the smell of alcohol or some other medical based spirit amongst the musky damp waft of air rising up from the hidden darkness below. After a few cautious steps down the stairs, much to his relief Thomas's fumbling hands eventually discovered the light switch. Descending lower into the now brightened sub level it soon became obvious this was no ordinary house cellar. Sporadic appearances of medical supply boxes mixed in amongst various garden tools plus numerous medical procedure manuals all added up to something out of place? Sighting a dimly lit doorway positioned straight ahead at the end of the assorted boxes and tools Thomas slowly edged forwards to the waiting answers beyond. It suddenly now occurred to Thomas he would be hopelessly trapped if Herbert were to return home anytime soon.

There was still time to abort this crazy mission. Choices had to be made and they had to be made now! Continue on or retreat and squander the chance to solve the unsettling mystery of the Blood Red Roses? Deep down Thomas knew he could never live with himself if he just exited without a definitive answer! No, there could be no turning back now, not after coming this far. With an uneasy decision eventually made, Thomas grabbed the waiting door's handle, twisting it until a loud echoing click unlatched the dusty door's grip on the frame. Without a second to spare Thomas's hand hurriedly probed the darkness beyond for a presumed light switch. Up and down, nervous fingers reached out until finally the required switch was located. It was now time to unearth the truth, no matter what the consequences. Ready to unveil the hidden rooms daunting secret Thomas took a short moment to consider all the times he was runner up at the Frail County Flower Show. It was undoubtedly time to catch a cheat and then tell the world!

One deep breath combined with a quick flick of the switch would soon see bright light burst out to all corners of the darkened room. The vast contrast was so strong Thomas was blinded for the next five or so seconds. His watering eyes tried hard to re-establish focus and purpose. Although, no matter how hard he concentrated Thomas found it difficult to achieve desperately needed clear vision! Smell would now become his main sensory function as contradicting odors of sterile entities swiftly invaded both nostrils. The crisp smell of disinfectant entwined with unidentified rotting organic matter combined to create a vomit-inducing odor that only a staunch resilience to dry wrenching could overcome. Experiencing temporary nausea Thomas's hands desperately searched for a firm object to anchor onto for just a moment. Gratefully his wandering hands soon located a solid frame of shelving. Five seconds later the Residual blindness and uneasiness in the stomach subsided enough for a startled Thomas to begin examining the room around him.

Watering eyes re-focused as then without warning came the gruesome sight of the missing family poodle dog, Fluffy, from all those years ago. Fluffy's current appearance was now noticeably different from any previous memories. His vertically submerged body floated tightly within a large jar filed with embalming fluid. Bulging out of the sockets, dead darkened eyes remained wide open! As if to display the absolute horror of having a series of intravenous tubes inserted into the bottom of each limb! Startled beyond belief Thomas instantly jumped backwards into another set of shelves! The resulting impact was sufficient enough to dislodge a large box filled to the brim with assorted dried out animal carcasses. An eclectic collection of smallish fury animals including cats, mice and squirrels. Each displaying similar assorted medical tubing and valve plugs designed to manage bodily fluids as were inserted into Fluffy! Repulsed by all on sight Thomas again jumped back, except this time into the shelving holding Fluffy's submerged body. This forceful impact caused the jar to rock back and forth with vile smelling fluid exploding out to cover the hapless Thomas. Who by now had unceremoniously slumped down to the perceived safety of the room's floor.

Thoroughly Covered in vile smelling twenty-year old stagnated embalming fluid and seated upon the remnants of fallen dead rodents, Thomas quickly succumb to mild shock then passed out for close to five minutes. Waking to the mild taste of vomit in his mouth a short time later Thomas recalled the series of events leading to his current predicament, the Blood Red Roses. Aware his time in the cellar was limited he took a deep breath and once again began the study of his immediate surrounds. From down low he observed open shelving consisting of numerous dust-laden boxes and containers. Each apparently packed to the brim with either medical supplies or more of the assorted dried out animal remains. One particular box soon caught Thomas's attention, it was a home taxidermy kit appearing to be covered in red blood or paint? He then noticed a collection of medical manuals ranging from Dentistry to complex surgical procedures, including blood transfusion and transplant techniques. Strangely there would also be the "how to grow the perfect rose" book nestled in amongst this highly unusual library.

Thomas decided it was time to regain his footing then began to rise up only to realize he was stuck to a puddle of congealed blood. Wriggling and twisting Thomas finally broke free of the organic based glue. As he rose up to his feet on the very top shelf Thomas worryingly identified a slender amputated left arm inhabiting a similar glass jar vessel to that of Fluffy. The severed arm's appearance was presumably that of a woman. Intrigued, Thomas stretched up high on his tippy toes to further investigate. Then much to his absolute horror he suddenly identified a diamond wedding ring on the upwards-pointing hand. Mortified, there cold be no doubting this belonged to Herbert's missing wife, Gertrude! Repulsed by his discovery Thomas quickly turned away only to then see a small dog's withered body with a baby's head attached on the opposing shelf. Thomas quickly succumbed to a series of violent convulsions as he threw up a recently consumed fish salad lunch over the medical library on the lower shelf. At this point Thomas had only ventured two footsteps into the room. He dreaded to consider what else remained uncovered? A macabre desire to study the mutated dogs body soon saw a relieved Thomas realize it was in fact an old dolls head attached to a fluffy toy dog! For just a moment Thomas considered his imagination might just be getting the better of him?

A quick glance back to the real Fluffy's twisted fate soon alleviated any self doubt. Yes it was true, Thomas was fully amerced into a bizarre collection of human depravity! How could Herbert, his neighbor of all these years be secretly indulging in such wicked undertakings? Lost to these dark moments Thomas closed his eyes in the vain hope he would view a better world upon their re-opening. Of course no such pleasant outcome would eventuate. There was no denying Herbert was involved in something well beyond comprehension of the average person. Surely there would be no more unsettling surprises to come? Horrified, he now identified a medium sized box containing assorted animal limbs. They were all shapes and sizes with one thing in common. The addition of inserted intravenous tubing displaying a dark dried up red liquid. The dry darkened fluid could only be the unfortunate animal's blood. Why had Herbert done this? What could be gained from syphoning the blood of these poor creatures? Searching for further clues and a definitive answer, frantically Thomas's eyes darted back and forth now realizing there was more to this room than first anticipated. A curtain at the rear of the room appeared to be hiding something beyond?

Nothing good could possibly come of this Thomas contemplated as ever so slowly he edged forwards to investigate. Reaching the end of the room his nervous right hand reached out to cautiously unveil the curtain's hidden secret? Then with one eye closed and a grimacing face slowly he pulled the curtain back. To his surprise another closed door appeared? From behind the door a dim pulsating light could be seen sneaking out from behind the hidden door's frame. Mortified at the thought of what may lay beyond? Thomas instantly stopped dead in his tracks to re-consider all options? There was still time to make an honorable retreat and never speak of this, to anyone! There was still time to make a hasty retreat and alert the local sheriff! Thomas was by now well aware that to open the waiting doorway would surely change his life, most likely for the worse. After all when he considered the evidence that had led him to this point there could be nothing worthy of forgiveness waiting to be discovered! Slowly two backward steps were taken, once more Thomas considered all his current options. Should walk away and avoid a lifetime of nightmares seeking to invade his sense of human decency?

As Thomas sheepishly turned to exit the cellar his eyes focused back to the slender floating arm of what could only be his neighbor's missing wife, Gertrude. There was no denying this is not something you can just simply walk away from. Answers were needed and he was the only soul willing to uncover them. The mysterious door would have to be opened by the reluctant Thomas and on this day! Anxiety instantly combined with shallow breathing as Thomas turned back towards the mystery door to uncover the hidden truth. Approaching the door he could feel his heart racing against his ribcage, seemingly bouncing well beyond the cavity of his chest? Weary feet slowly dragged as if to try and anchor his journey! Both the left and right foot suddenly felt like buckets of lead. Perhaps this was his body's last defensive move to stop him opening his mind to a horror beyond all imagination? Perhaps it was simply the symptoms of previous shock kicking in? Either way Thomas was begrudgingly positioned back in front of the waiting door, frozen stiff in fear!

Sharp pains of anxiety shot up his right arm as if to further warn him of the impending nightmare behind the door! However a curiously inquisitive mind urged him to continue on and solve the mystery ahead. Cold salty sweat trickled down his forehead then stung his eyes. This was his last warning. Do not enter if you wish to keep your sanity! Thomas looked to his shoulder then lowered his head to wipe off the salty sweat. Next he slapped his left cheek hard enough to feel a sting. He needed to do this to properly, re-focus! Again Thomas's uncertain hand reached towards the doorway. He observed a noticeable absence of cobwebs clinging to the doorway? Thomas concluded this door was recently opened, although to what though he remained unsure? The only way to get the answers was to now open the door. Reaching forwards an uncertain hand clutched at the old worn brass handle. Slowly his hand turned right ways as an accompanying squeak followed the twisting knob. Finally, came the click of an old door releasing its grip, slightly ajar the door revealed a subdued light pulsating source beyond? Frozen, Thomas braced himself to confront his worst fears.

Both eyes squeezed tightly as a right foot cautiously entered the waiting space ahead, next came the torso. Reluctantly Thomas then slowly opened his begrudging eyes to confront the waiting evil! The source of the mysterious pulsating light had revealed its self! It was a fully functional slow beeping heart monitor. All of Thomas's attention momentarily focused on the unperceived sight of operational high tech medical equipment. Beyond all better judgment worried eyes then carefully followed the attached lines down to the unimaginable sight of a distinctly pale white breathing torso exhibiting four unevenly shaped shortened limbs. Aghast, Thomas found himself unable to move or react as his frozen body tried to fully comprehend the macabre medical anomaly on view. He felt certain these remnants of a once vibrant human were surely the missing Gertrude! Except with basically no arms or legs? Her once golden blonde hair only remained as several sporadic tuffs of thin wispy grey fibers. Stoically Thomas resisted bringing up the last of his churning stomach vile as next he observed a feeding tube exiting out through a roughly sown closed mouth. At this point Thomas realized Gertrude's sunlight starved eyes were fully glazed over. Revealing dull white pupils displaying no easily identifiable signs of life?

Cautious inspection of Gertrude's frail looking body showed some signs of thin shallow breathing. A disbelieving Thomas found it hard to think she was really alive in any form of the description! Unaccepting denial of the insidious evil on display forced a disturbed Thomas to shy away from the human nightmare just an arm's reach away. There could be no escaping the horror of the moment as resentfully his tear-laden eyes acknowledged the next injustice of Herbert's decidedly hideous work. Old wooden shelving to the left of Gertrude's living hell revealed a number of reddish brown jars. All displaying the same label of "Blood and Bone" Each jar also exhibited a hand written record of date, month and year on some paper next to the label. A quick count of all the jars added up to twenty four? It was at this point Thomas then noticed a filthy old wooden butchers chopping block covered in dark red congealed fluid, presumably blood, Gertrude's blood! This was more than a nauseas Thomas could comprehend as the last of his stomach remnants erupted all over the chopping block. Lost in tears of denial suddenly Thomas heard the groans of Gertrude. Aware of the presence of an intruder or worse still she was fearing the return of her husband Herbert.

Gasping for air, Thomas instinctively reached out to console the crippled Gertrude. It was only now did he realized each of her shortened limbs were accompanied by a red liquid filled intravenous line extracting blood to the ceiling up above? Disorientated and in total non comprehension or acceptance of what could possibly be going on Thomas felt the cold sensation of his head losing steady blood flow. Seconds later he succumb the sadistic situation at hand and fainted to the floor. Shortly afterwards while waking to the sight of rats at his feet a slumped down Thomas relived the moments leading up to his current position. Gertrude and the immense cruelty she had suffered at the hands of the depraved Herbert. Awkwardly seated Thomas forced himself to further study his distinctly macabre surrounds. Lost, Thomas found himself attempting to understand the distorted reasoning behind it all. Viewing the movement of up-surging blood through the round cavities for each blood of the lines it suddenly struck him.

Impossible to fathom, Herbert was using Gertrude to harvest live human blood and bone to feed his prize-winning roses! He had in fact been doing for nearly quarter of a century! Looking for assistance to further study the blood filled lines reaching up to the ceiling Thomas spotted a flashlight. Suddenly in a moment of forgotten fear he rose up and grabbed the flashlight then aimed the light source upwards to the rooms cavities above. Reaching down was a series of roots combined with dirt twisting around the warm red fluid lines. Each of the plants main tap roots appeared to engulf the supply of fresh liquid food. Repulsed by the very concept of it all a disbelieving Thomas forced himself to accept this was how Herbert had been able to win the Frail County Flower Show Best Rose Award for all these years. All at the expensive of his hapless shallow soul of a wife who was by now reduced to that of half dead withered up torso depraved of all quality of life! How could such a thing happen, how could any man do this to his wife, another human being! How could someone conceive of such a wicked concept? Searching for more clues and answers to his unholy questions Thomas looked back to the jars of blood and bone.

Sadly, the entire process of Herbert's grotesque bloodthirsty actions was blatantly clear. Ashamed to believe it Thomas concluded that for each of the last twenty-four years the depraved Herbert would "Harvest" part of a limb from Gertrude. He would then treat it, dry it out and presumably feed to the garden soil above. This process would combine with the live feeding of human blood to the root system of the rose bushes from underneath. All done here in this cellar room! Unanswered, more questions bombarded Thomas's shocked mind, just how did the monstrous Herbert know to do this? How could he ever perform such a heinous act? Disparaging thoughts of how the life of a loving wife could be sacrificed for a perceived greater good forced a reluctant Thomas to search for even more evidence. The flashlight darted to all parts of the room until finally sighting an educational medical journal on a layer beneath the chopping block. The cover label simply stated The Human Blood and Bone Experiment. Dreading the task at hand Thomas opened up random pages, only to read time and time again the results of Herbert's dark work. Unashamedly, all aimed at creating the perfect rose. Each disturbing page revealed a comprehensive chronicle of pain and despair, all at Gertrude's expense.

Angered and exhaustively repulsed by the sadistic experimentation around him Thomas forced his attention back to the frail Gertrude. What to do? Regretfully he accepted there could be no saving her now? She was presumably lost to the memories of a lifetime ago. A lifetime where winning the local flower meant little, and the love of her husband meant a lot. Thomas was well aware her diminished life was a living misery and had been so for quite some time! Surely he would have to put an end to her horrendous suffering? Assessing the conundrum at hand Thomas decided to it was time to remove the feeding tube from Gertrude's mouth to see if she could possibly communicate? Positioned over her pale white face slowly and gently Thomas pulled the feeding tube out while becoming aware her soiled adult nappy was in need of changing. In fact had been for a number of days! Gertrude's current predicament could only be described as eternal hell and unjustified torment. As Thomas withdrew the feeding tube an uncertain Gertrude remained silent until he spoke.

"Gertrude can you hear me? Can you speak?" again Thomas asked "Gertrude it's me Thomas, your old neighbor can you speak?"

With no answer forth coming a concerned Thomas stood back for a few seconds to give her some room. Suddenly Gertrude's body rocked back and forth, apparently trying to communicate with Thomas? Murmured noises alerted Thomas to the fact her sown closed mouth restricted all attempts at audible speech. The stiches would need to be cut open if he were to hear her words. Retreating back to the first room Thomas hastily discovered a knife then returned to Gertrude. He tried his best to calm her down as carefully he cut away at the crude stitching to her mouth. As Thomas pulled the severed stitching away from her mouth small droplets of blood surfaced on her lips. Then for the very first time in many years Gertrude ran her tongue over her dry scabby scaled up lips. Despairingly came the sight of sunlight starved eyes trying to focus after so many years of trying to avoid seeing her wicked jailer. Thomas gently leaned forwards to hear Gertrude's weakened words

"Kill me, you must kill me now, do it before he comes back!"

Unsure of how to react Thomas tried to reason with her

"Gertrude if I leave now I can be back with the police in minutes"

Unfortunately Gertrude was not seeking salvation, just a swift termination to end her multiple years of unimaginable misery

"Please you need to end this nightmare for me, you need to end it now, please I beg you, please, please Thomas don't you understand I can't even see you!"

Distraught, Thomas's heart rate dropped as the realization of what he really needed to do dawned upon him. He would now have kill another Human Being! This unforeseen act would be something far beyond his boundaries of a normal life's expectations. How could he ever possibly do such a thing? But then again how could Herbert ever do such a thing? Conflicted emotions stalled Thomas's response as again and again Gertrude pleaded for an end to her unimaginable misery!

"You don't understand he will back soon and it's nearly that time" screamed Gertrude

"Time for what?" asked a confused Thomas

"The cutting!" Gertrude angrily shouted

"The cutting? What do you mean?" an unsure Thomas inquired

"Look at me, fucking look at me Thomas" cried out Gertrude

"You mean you know when he is going to do this to you?" a horrified Thomas questioned

"Yes, I have learnt to count the days and it is nearly time for the harvesting again, I do not think I could last another amputation! You need to end this for me and you need to tell the world of Herbert's twisted ways" Gertrude demanded

"I don't think I can do it" Thomas replied

"Well if you leave me this way you know God will judge you, he will judge you harshly, end it, end it now!"

Dreading the dyer task at hand, Thomas could not easily offer up the words she so desperately sought to hear. Instead he would just silently stand there, looking to the nearby meat clever. There were no choices left but to actually consider Gertrude's heart felt plea for death. Close by a pile of discarded bandages offered the option of less brutal death for Gertrude, suffocation. Thomas could simply stuff a bandage into her mouth and hold her nose. Seeking the lesser of two evils Thomas felt sure this was the more humane way to end Gertrude's indescribable suffering. But could he really perform this one final permanent request? Deep troubling thoughts clouded Thomas's perception as again he surveyed every aspect of the room. Seeking out other viable less violent options. However after further consideration, there would only be two real choices. They were decapitation or suffocation? The first option would be incredibly violent and test every once of Thomas's internal fortitude! Gratefully it would be over before Gertrude ever knew it was happening. The second choice would require physical contact without an indication of what was about to occur. A doubtful Thomas remained unsure if he could even do that?

With just a slight hint of hesitation a remorseful Thomas migrated towards the bandages. It appeared his choice was final, apparently he had discovered the required inner strength to finally end Gertrude's horrific time on this Earth. Careful final words were silently rehearsed at next the bandages were formed into a ball of cloth to insert into Gertrude's mouth. A somber Thomas reluctantly turned to attend to Gertrude's final wish and began to offer some last chosen words to send her off peacefully. However just as he began to speak the moment was interrupted by the unexpected sounds of a returning Herbert's inquiring voice.

"Gertrude, darling what has happened? Who is with you, you know it is time to feed the roses again!"

Realizing he was hopelessly trapped Thomas stood dead in his tracks, meaning Gertrude's euthanasia would have to wait. What to do? There was nowhere to hide and no possibility of talking his way out of this. There could be no denying he had in fact broken into Herbert's house! Although he had discovered Herbert's evil undertakings the entry into the house could not be easily justified. Thomas's heart raced overtime as he contemplated the many scenarios about to take place! Did Herbert have a gun? Would he use it without warning? Would he have other unexpected ways of dealing with such a "problems" Thomas could only hope his long term neighborly standing with Herbert may buy him some time? Worryingly, it was all he could hope for as now the sounds of footsteps echoed loudly down to the rear room of the cellar. Gertrude's head swung to the left and right in blind search of her savior's re-assuring words. Thomas hastily crouched down then whispered.

"Gertrude, please trust me, I will do what you ask but Herbert is back home and about to enter the room, I am not sure what to do?"

"Just use the clever, use the clever!" Shouted Gertrude in the full knowledge that her loud words would only bring Herbert to the rear cellar room sooner than hoped. Leaving a hesitant Thomas no choice but to act on her final request as quickly as possible or risk failure and God knows what afterwards. Outside the room fast repetitive footsteps approached as Thomas's right hand desperately clenched around the meat cleaver's waiting handle in anticipation of what was required! Then, way too soon the angered Herbert appeared at the first room's doorway.

"What the hell are you doing, the donor is mine!" as desperately he lunged forwards attempting to stop Thomas's actions. Although by now the meat clever was raised up high and ready to swing down to end a life. "Hold on Gertrude, it's time!" Sensing Herbert's impending entry to the room Thomas forcefully kicked the door back to close in Herbert's face. The resulting impact put a stunned Herbert face down on the dusty old floor as now the meat clever began a rapid decent towards Gertrude's waiting neck. Less than one second later it was over as a blood soaked Thomas withdrew the bloodied clever from Gertrude's pulsating remnants of a body. Shocked by the violence of his actions Thomas raised his shaking left hand to his forehead in despairing regret. However there could be no time for remorse as sooner than expected Herbert rose back up to his feet then began to charge. An action aimed punishing Thomas for his compassionate deed to end Gertrude's life. Outraged at the loss of his chosen "Donor" Herbert proclaimed Thomas was destined to become her unwilling replacement!

Cautiously Thomas remained in possession of the meat cleaver. Then as an act of self defense swung hard towards the charging Herbert! Two opposing forces of flesh and steel collided with such force that the end result would see Herbert's nose collapse inwards from the forceful impact of a sideways aimed wide meat cleaver blade face. Dazed and semi conscious Herbert then succumb to another well aimed strike to the head. This time the impact would see Herbert drop to the floor in a broken bleeding state of unconsciousness. Wiping the blood and sweat from his brow an angered Thomas declared "You're lucky I didn't take your head off!" Overwhelmed by the whole torrid incident Thomas fell down to his knees and began to openly weep out loud. Torn twisted thoughts of the day's unimaginable events flashed to every corner of his scattered mind. He would soon be forced to carefully consider all his options?

It has been four years since Herbert Brushell's mysterious disappearance. Thomas Dickson's neighbor to his right, Dorothy Hepthorn has been wondering what the special secret is that see's him win the Frail County Flower Show Best Rose and Best Violet Award for four years straight now! How does he do it? What is the magic ingredient that achieves such glory in two categories an extremely jealous second placed Dorothy Hepthorn often wonders? Strangely she has only spoken to her neighbor only once before during the past four years. Even then to say it was a weird encounter would be an understatement! A seemingly distracted Thomas seemed to just be staring straight through her as they changed neighborly pleasantries all those years ago. However it was to be Thomas's unexpected words that would stick with Dorothy the most.

"Did you know the Human body has two main types of arteries? Red and Blue, ok gotta get back to my blood and bone mixture. These Roses and Violets wont just win the Frail County Flower Show by themselves! Nice to meet you" Mystified, Dorothy couldn't help but wonder what he meant by all that? "Perhaps next time he goes to get those medical supplies she might take a peak inside his house to see what his real secret is?"

### Spewing Gum

Be careful where you step, chewing gum can get you in a sticky situation

Hank Baxter loves his job at Fast Gum. In fact the whole town of Little Chew love their job at Fast Gum. After all it's the only employment opportunity this quant little town has to offer. Interestingly there has always been some conjecture as the town's beginnings. Some folk even say the town was named after the chewing gum company, while others believe the company was named after the town? Either way, one thing is for sure, Fast Gum has become the life and blood of Little Chew. Alongside most of his school friends Hank has gone onto to work on the factory floor at Fast Gum after graduation. The right of passage to success has always been to start on the factory floor and then progress to either office management or supervisory roles in the machinery sections. Hank has always been hands on kind of guy. So it was an easy choice to stay with his friends amongst the machinery!

Problem is, rumors are abound that Fast Gum's best days are over and that the life blood of this town may soon be laying off many of the workers. Or worse still, possibly closing down completely? For Hank this is a real kick in the guts as he is related to companies original founder. It is believed he has become the eighth generation of his family that has worked with "The Gum" as the locals call it. Some of the town's folk are of the opinion this fledging company can be in fact be saved. All that is needed is a revamp of the operational procedures and a freeze on management wages. Hank is not so sure and has been working a new "Healthier Range" of the gum in his spare time. All in the hope he can save the company and quite possibly the entire town's future? Many hours have been spent in the work shed at the family home. With some luck his long hours after the working day at the factory will pay off and save the company. Heck he may even get a promotion if it all works out!

Fast Gum's new owner and primary manager Ralph Doyle has just purchased a new Porsche sports car. Considering the current situation this seems an extravagant purchase that really does not sit well with the worried factory floor workers, especially the hard working Hank. Action needs to be taken and it needs to be taken soon, before it's too late! A secret meeting has been set for select group of the factory workers with ties to front office. They will ask their "desk spies" to keep a discreet ear to the ground and get to the truth of the company's impending fate? Hank is determined not to go down without a fight! If need be, he may just ask the whole town to join him. But only if the rumors from front office are not what he is hoping to hear. However for now all he can do is wait and ponder the ultimate fate of not only his own family's heritage but that of the entire town! The one aspect that no one can really comprehend is that Ralph Doyle does not even seem remotely worried. In fact he actually seems a little bit chirpy of late?

The following weeks after the workers secret meeting, many snippets of contradictory information regularly filtered back to Hank and the other attendees. "Yes the company is doomed, no it's really gonna be ok" Frustratingly every desk spy seemed to reveal a different outcome. Meaning there could be no certain strategy or set course to be made due to such varying outcomes. Despondent, Hank decided he would have to act alone on his instincts. Perhaps it was time to call the town to general meeting and demand some answers, demand the truth! After all this is all their livelihoods at stake here. Simply put, you can't go on with so much uncertainty in the air. It was better to hear the news, good or bad. At least then they could do a little planning, perhaps even move on if it came down to it. Upon making his decision Hank realized there would need to a significant rational behind the protest meeting. They would need something symbolic!

But what would it be and when should it be? Then it struck him like a bolt of lightning. Defiantly the whole town would stake a silent protest by chewing gum as Ralph Doyle addressed them all during the annual general meeting. There would be no cheering or acknowledgement of his words, just a silent mass chewing of "The Gum" The general meeting was always held in the town square gardens. This is done as a gesture designed to demonstrate the unity between the town and the factory. It was perfect, use Ralph's own product to make their point and hopefully then get some answers! Once they all had finished chewing their gum and were ready to talk that is. Hank felt damn sure this unprecedented group action would personify the feelings of all concerned and swiftly bring things to a head. Hank's heart has always been with the company and the town. He could only hope such drastic measures would result in some form of cumulative action.

Soon another secret meeting would be held. It was agreed by all to continue on with the mass protest chewing strategy. Quietly Hank also considered this to be a unique opportunity to share his new range of product with the boss. Who knows, maybe it will change everything? He could only hope for a positive outcome. After all Hanks new flavor range was none too shabby in his eyes, Fish Flavor, Spicy Fruit Flavor and Protein Plus as he called it. This new range of "TheGum" was an adult based break away from just kid-based flavors. It all added up to something new and invigorating. Surely this would turn out be a winner for the company if just given half a chance! After some further contemplation Hank decided he would indeed use the general meeting to unveil his new flavor range designed to save the company and of course the town. After a little more thought it soon occurred to Hank that if there was going to be a mass protest, perhaps it should be with one of the new flavor range. Yep, there would be a mass chewing of the new Protein Plus Gum. Now that would really be some kind of a protest statement!

It would be a tricky task but somehow Hank would have to package then disperse this new range of Protein Plus Gum to all of his fellow protestors before the general meeting. It would mean extra secretive hours at home and at the factory. But he didn't mind as he felt this course of action would be worth the trouble and surely unite all in the impending battle. His only real regret was that he had no one to boast about it to. However this was a covert stealth operation that only he and perhaps one other could undertake. After all if the factory workers had "desk spies" in the office, surely Ralph had "factory floor spies" It only made sense for him to know the true feelings of his workers. Hank calculated he would require about 280 packs of the new range. The only outside help needed would be assistance with the cover design. A problem easily solved with the help of one of his "Desk Spies" and the office computer. Just create the logo and the packet colors and save in the correct format. Then when ready he would just load the new file into the packaging machine to print out. Just before the general meeting Hank would manufacture a small batch of the product at home. He would then do a short after hours packaging run that would never be noticed.

Imagine that, the whole town holding up his new innovative product just as Ralph was ready to begin a speech, now that's a protest! After careful consideration Hank decided it would be his long time trusted friend Wendy to help with the new logo and packet design. Only too eager to help, Wendy was soon sworn to secrecy. Hank stressed that if Ralph Doyle discovered their covert plan it could possible mean the end of the company and everyone's livelihood. Following many repeated assurances of discretion from Wendy, Hank felt confident everything would smoothly go to plan. However one important aspect was apparently overlooked. This was the fact that Ralph Doyle would stop at nothing to keep a vigilant eye on all the company's computers, especially during such uncertain times. Unbeknownst to Wendy within only hours of designing a new packet and logo Ralph Doyle would have a copy on his desk and be left to ponder its impending introduction? Slightly perturbed, Ralph decided to play it cool and let his "Factory Spies" get to the bottom of it all. He was in no doubt all required answers would soon be unveiled. A strategic response plan could then be formulated.

After all, Ralph's previous departure from industrial chemistry into the world of corporations had taught him a thing or two. He felt well armed to deal with any unwanted uprising! Until then he just needed to be patient and wait for the optimum moment to retaliate. Meanwhile as the date for the general meeting fast approached Hank busily prepared his secret batch of "The Gum" for packaging at the plant. By now Wendy had the packet design and logo prepared, things appeared to be going well for this clandestine batch of protest gum! Call it blind enthusiasm or recklessness on Hank's behalf but on the day of production he allowed himself to be cleverly sidetracked by a sneaky Ralph Doyle who had a nasty surprise up his sleeve. A little added extra ingredient to the secret batch of gum! Putting his chemistry background to use Ralph Doyle had instructed one of his "Factory Spies" to add a small amount of an additive known as Ipecac Syrup. This is bi-product of the Ipecac Root and can be fatal, however death is extremely rare due to the fact the ingested extract is normally vomited up well before any such drastic occurrences!

As for the motives behind this secretive batch of the gum, Ralph remained unsure? One thing for sure was, if Hank had plans to demonstrate the benefits of his creation to one of Fast Gums competitors, it would not go well. Having dealt with Ralph's clever distraction (A possible fire hazard) Hank hastily returned to complete the secret batch, now brandishing some impressive looking gum packaging. The wrapping was bright and the logo perfect, Wendy had done a fantastic job and to Hank's knowledge Ralph was none the wiser. Discretely placing the "Protest Gum" into his car's boot. Hank felt quite confident his plan had gone perfectly. All that remained was for him to secretly disperse the product with instructions of when to chew it on the day and the protest. The town's destiny was in hank's careful hands. Surely his actions had saved everyone's livelihoods and the legacy that was known as "The Gum" With just one day to go until the general meeting only one task remained uncompleted, create a sample pack of Fish Flavor. The final part of Hank's carefully thought out master plan would be a one off extra taste of the new range.

Whilst Wendy was well aware of the mass chewing protest with the Protein Plus Gum there was one element of the plan Hank had neglected to share. This was to give Ralph a taste of the future, a sample of the new Fish Flavor Gum. Sensing a dramatic feel for the moment Hank would sneakily place the sample pack of the Fish Flavor gum into Ralph's pocket just prior to his big speech at the general meeting. Then just as the mass protest begun Hank would ask Ralph to join them in chewing some gum! It was quietly hoped this would deter any words relating to the factory's closure coming from Ralph's mouth. Hank could feel it in his bones! Ralph would love the new flavor and in front of everyone announce this was the future of Fast Gum. Imagine what would happen after Hank had revealed there were even more newly created flavors. All just waiting to be added to the production line and save the company. What could have been a horrendous day for all would surely now become a day of wide spread celebration and gratitude, a plethora of gratitude to Hank!

Finally the day of the general meeting arrived. The entire town was abuzz with rumor and innuendo in regards to what the C.E.O of Fast Gum Ralph Doyle would divulge about the fledging company's future. Perhaps the only one certainty of this historic day would be that the entire town would gather to hear his words. Not one person would dare not to attend this decisively important day, good or bad. Long held tradition called for a grand feast before any of the more serious business to be undertaken. On offer were Vegetarian snacks, Salads, Barbequed Beef, Roasted Chicken and Duck plus nearly every imaginable variety of Hot Dog. Even Pizza would be available for the nervous town's folks appetite. Then once all bellies were filled up to the brim, the general business would get underway. Eager mouthfuls of all on offer soon devoured all available foodstuffs. Not long after the grand feast scattered groups of people eventually combined to fill all vacant spaces of the town's square. It was a tight fit due to the fact when it was first designed the town originally only boasted a population of approximately sixty or so people.

Times had changed over the years and although still a small town, it was days like today that Little Gum felt far larger than it really was. To the side of the main platform stood a defiant looking Ralph Doyle, frustratingly just as chirpy in appearance as ever. What did he know that all else had failed to see? Perhaps he was getting ready to take a world cruise or perhaps was planning on getting another sports car! Maybe even a Ferrari this time? Or possibly he was just a sadist who was about to take immense pleasure in delivering the news that would break this town's heart? Either way, all would be revealed in a matter of minutes. At this point Hank now strategically maneuvered close to Ralph's side then placed the sample packet of Fish Flavor Fast Gum into his boss's pocket. Ralph Doyle pondered Hank's close proximity for just a moment then prepared to start the general meeting. At this time Hank would then retreat to be amongst his fellow workers and initiate the planned protest. Anxious, the crowd slowly ceased all chatter and turned to the waiting Ralph Doyle.

Ready to speak and feeling assured of everyone's undivided attention Ralph confidently stepped forwards to the microphone. Just as he did so came the silent nod from Hank to his comrades. An indication it was time to hold their gum aloft and start chewing. By now everyone was aware of the chewing gum protest and had their gum at the ready. As all pieces of gum entered the silent protestors mouths a brash sounding Hank then dared Ralph Doyle to do the same. Defiant and ready to oblige Hank's unexpected request Fast Gums C.E.O casually felt around his jacket pocket for a symbolic piece of "The Gum" In effort to show he was in fact in solidarity with the working towns plight. Ralph did not get too fussy with his selection. He simply grabbed the first piece of gum felt at his fingertips. (Ralph Doyle always had some gum in his pocket) After all, it's what his company manufactured so there was always a sample to offer a new customer. Then without further thought Ralph unwrapped his chosen piece of gum and placed it into his mouth. Unsure of his reasoning the chewing crowd cheered and for one quick second all were in unity!

However the effects of Ipecac Syrup were soon to kick in on mass as next the entire town's crowd began to suffer especially severe stomach cramps plus vomit inducing convulsions. As far as the eye could see hands instinctively grabbed at quivering waistlines, attempting to hold down all previously consumed foods and beverages. But it was to no avail as suddenly a choir of incoherent screams of pain preceded unified rapid mass vomiting fits! Spread out amongst the crowd the consumers of Tacos forcefully expelled recently eaten corn shells, green salad and brown beef mince. Nearby the Hot Dog fans violently vomited up half digested mustard and ketchup covered buns. This was soon joined by half chewed Frankfurt's to create a flowing mash of red, yellow and white fluid mixed in with saliva! Fans of the health food cart also found them selves reluctantly joining in the "Spew Choir" Powerless to stop it, they also threw up all manner of diced up garden based vegetables mixed with Herbal Tea and water to create a blended mix of "Healthy Spew"

Closer to the speaker's platform Roast Duck and Gravy covered Potato projectiles forcefully erupted out from the Gourmet food crowd onto each other. A distinctly off putting circumstance, only enticing further bouts of involuntary vomiting. Reddish chunks of Roasted Duck combined with Red Wine to cover horrified ladies white dresses as they too found no time to protest. How could they? After all, it's damn hard to voice your displeasure while bringing up chunks of savory meat and crackers! The Pizza fans would fare no better as multi-colored pieces of green chopped up capsicum combined with red tomato and yellow mozzarella cheese to create a doughy lump of sticky sickly smelling mash. This was an offering that was also reluctantly shared onto anyone unlucky enough to be in close proximity. As far as the eye could see there was a hectic mass of flying vomit discharging from panicked Humans unable to stop this unexplained foul tasting phenomena!

On the ground a corrosive river of vile scented slush began to slowly cross over the many different examples of shoes and sandals. An incomprehensible sight, only initiating even more donations of foul smelling vomit from folk unlucky to observe this strange occurrence! Horrified by all unfolding around him a bewildered Hank tried desperately to discontinue his own fits of spew. However whilst stomach contents remained to be evicted he was unable to put a halt his own dilemma. To the left and to the right a growing repulsive pungent smelling river of spew remained for all to see! Suffering total shock from the repeated unexplained convulsions and the macabre events unfolding around him Hank drew upon his inner strength to finally stand up straight. At last came a moment's reprieve to survey the growing mayhem all around him. Everywhere to be seen bent over torsos were heaving up the last remaining remnants of previously consumed food and beverages. Mortified, it was at this moment Hank carefully considered the cause of it all? Then it struck him, the gum, it must be "The Gum!"

Suffering from the lingering effects of the Ipecac Syrup and an element of self denial Hank soon realized Ralph Doyle was currently laid flat on the speakers platform. Worse still he was reacting in a distinctly more violent way to "The Gum" than the all others? It was only now that it occurred to Hank the sample placed in Ralph's suit pocket was different from the other gum handed to the crowd. Concerned for the boss's safety Hank tried desperately to reach him but frustratingly once again fell victim to last of the Ipecac Syrup remaining in his body. Cramps and violent dry retching would combine to stop him dead in his tracks! Shallow cries of help to the nearby safety officers went unnoticed as they too were suffering the last bouts of vomiting up the Ipecac Syrup. Even if aware of Ralph Doyle's plight they were of little or no use. They remained frozen in their tracks and bent over from the constant cramps. Desperately, Hank's watering eyes focused on Ralph Doyle, who was by now forcefully pounding down his fist in agony and lack of air. In dire need of help and assistance Ralph's worried eyes honed in on Hank as next his face began to turn a shade of oxygen starved blue.

Hank grabbed at his unevenly pulsating stomach then slowly raised his head only to observe the dying Ralph Doyle's final moments. A disbelieving remorse overwhelmed Hank as suddenly he realized this entire disaster had came about because of his prior secretive actions to save the company and the town. In short, Hank had managed to turn the annual general meeting into a mass vomit feast that had also apparently killed Fast Gums C.E.O. Nearby a recovering Wendy looked to Hank, seeking some form of explanation. Mystified a despondent Hank could only look to the multicolored rivers of spew and foul smelling vomit chunks then shrug his shoulders. Attempting to reach Hank, Wendy would now slip over and land smack bang in the worst of the migrating vomit! All she could was to yell out "You did know that Ralph was allergic to fish, didn't you?" Stunned by this unexpected news, Hank would then place his hands over his face and utter two deadly words "Anaphylactic Shock" During the aftermath of the days unimagined events a speech note was discovered in the suit pocket of the dead Ralph Doyle. He was planning to read out loud the company had been saved. All he had to do was to sign a contract situated back at the factory offices. The unread note went on to state the town had been saved and that Hank Baxter was now assistant C.E.O

Slipping, sliding and regularly falling into the wide spread river of the oozing towns folk spew Hank was never seen again after escaping the mass protest that fateful day. Not long after Fast Gum closed its doors for good as a result that last disastrous general meetings events. To this day it is rumored the very last batch of Fast Gum had a distinctly odd taste and odor about it? Disturbingly, there has always been some conjecture as to whether or not it may have included the body parts of the missing would be town hero..... Hank Baxter

### Truth or Dare

You should never dare to ask for the truth

Every year on the same day Faith, Hope and Justice play a game of Spin The Bottle. Whoever the bottle lands on will be able to request Truth or Dare to one of the other girls. Surprisingly up to now, no one has ever chosen dare? Although this year that is all about to change! Arriving at the chosen room with a suitably rounded spinning bottle in hand Justice sat down on the cushion. Faith and Hope were invited to do the same. With a little wiggling and jiggling the three girls were soon comfortable then happily declared it was time to begin the game. As in previous years straws were drawn to see who would have the choice of who goes first? Frustratingly it would be Justice to choose who starts the game off. Somehow she always manages to win at straws? Maybe she has a secret trick or perhaps she is just plain lucky? Faith and Hope are always left wondering how Justice does it? To achieve that certain ambiance required for this once a year event the room's lighting is always turned down low and numerous scented candles are lit.

Ready to let the game commence Justice confidently placed the bottle in the middle of the circle. She then requested for Hope to zealously spin the chosen vessel. Time and time again the bottle revolved in all directions until finally slowing down to settle back on Hope. It was now time for Hope to carefully choose between Justice and Faith, then decide whether it will be Truth or Dare as their challenge! Ecstatic at being the first to decide Hope eagerly pondered her choices as enthusiastically to and throw she gazed at Justice and Faith. Finally, after nearly a minute's thorough consideration her choice was made.

"Justice I choose you and I want the truth, are you ever jealous of me?"

Without hesitation Justice replied "Yes Hope sometimes I am jealous of you"

Moments later a loud snickering giggle emanated from the nearby Faith who would be next the participant to spin the Truth or Dare bottle. Repeatedly the bottle spun around as once more the three girls silently watched on. Eventually after what was close to half a minute the spinning bottle finally came to a rest. Again, another snickering giggle from Faith in the realization it would now be her turn to choose a recipient for the Truth of Dare challenge. Back and forth, her eyes slowly surveyed the two choices. Would it be Justice or would it be Hope? The silence was finally broken with another slightly more subdued giggle as now Faith revealed her choice.

"Justice I choose you and I want the honest truth, are you ever jealous of me?"

Again without hesitation Justice spoke the words "Yes Faith it's true sometimes I am jealous of you"

Laughter soon erupted, except this time originating from Hope who was seemingly taking just a little too much delight in Justice's honesty. Looking to each other in expectation Faith and Hope watched on as next Justice went about expertly spinning the bottle. Displaying noticeably more finesse than the other two girls previous attempts, Justice's spin would continue on for close to a minute! The drama of the pending outcome seemed to build and build with every revolution. Transfixed, all three girls watched on in anticipation it may possibly be their turn next? Eventually the bottle slowed down its circular motion to end up pointing to a grinning Justice. For reasons yet unknown Justice then violently slammed her hands down loudly proclaiming "All these years I have waited" Unsure of her true motives Faith and Hope silently looked to each other, seeking an answer for Justice's unpredicted behavior. With the unspoken question remaining unanswered they each simply shrugged shoulders then looked back to Justice. Strangely, she was brandishing a distinctly devious smirk on her face. It was officially her turn to choose, this suddenly worried the others.

"Ok for my first pick I think I will choose Faith and I will choose dare!"

Thoroughly shocked at Justice's unprecedented choice Faith and Hope shared a noticeably worried look with each other. No one had ever actually chosen dare before? Surely this was just another formality of the game. Surprisingly this aspect of the challenge had never previously been discussed. It was always expected no one was ever supposed to choose this option! What did the conniving Justice have planned? Moments later just to add even more mystery Justice held her hands up high and then slowly lowered them both to gesture there was something hidden underneath her cushion.

"Faith I want you to cut off your left hand's little finger, it annoys me"

"What? You can't be truly serious, what do you mean? I don't get it?" an obviously frightened Faith asked.

"You heard me, cut off your little finger, it annoys me" a distinctly angry sounding Justice sharply replied.

"No, never! This must be a sick joke or something? I'm not doing that!" Declared Faith as to her surprise Justice suddenly produced a hammer and Chisel from underneath the cushion. Worse still, these implements were soon pointed directly towards her.

"What the fuck!" Screamed Hope in the sudden realization Justice was quite possibly serious about her chosen dare for Faith.

"I can't be any clearer and we have always agreed to follow the rules, haven't we girls?" Declared Justice

Flabbergasted by this unforeseen predicament Faith and Hope swiftly rose to their feet then went to walk towards the door to exit the room.

"Don't bother, it's locked and I simply can't remember what happened to the key"

"Justice this is meant to be fun, what are you doing? Asked an increasingly worried Hope

"Sit the fuck down Hope, you just might be next!" replied a sinister smirking Justice who was currently placing the hammer and chisel into Faith's trembling hands.

"I can't do it Justice, I can't do it!" screamed a mortified Faith, dropping down the tools in protest

"Ok, ok, Faith I can see you are not capable so I will do the chosen task for you if you want?" Justice calmly offered, as next she pulled out a knife from under the cushion. Looking menacingly to Faith's left foot in demonstration that to perhaps lose a toe may be the better of two alternatives?

Seconds later much to Hope's watching horror a weeping Faith slowly edged a clenched up left hand forwards to a stern faced Justice. Reluctant fingers were pried outwards to open up her fist as next the exposed fingers were placed down flat onto the floorboards. Appearing to take a distinctly perverse pleasure in the daunting task at hand, Justice would gradually raise the hammer above the vertically positioned chisel.

"Don't look Faith, she wont do it, this is just a sick joke" Yelled Hope in the off chance she was somehow possibly correct in her assumptions. However all too soon Faith's agonized screams at losing a digit would confirm this was in fact not a joke at all. Desperately Hope initiated a frantic search for a makeshift bandage to alleviate the blood steadily flowing out from Faith's traumatized four fingered left hand. Watching on a stone faced Justice picked up the severed finger and swiftly threw it into the ash ridden fireplace! Increasingly loud tears of sobbing disbelief echoed throughout the room as eventually Hope's first aid treatment stemmed the pulsating flow of warm red fluid.

"Sit down and shut the fuck up! Both of you! We still have a game to play" asserted Justice as once more she menacingly glanced over to the nearby knife. Escalated, her silent threat was taken seriously as reluctantly the horrified girls sat back down onto their vacant cushions. Looking towards the trembling duo, ominously Justice would announce it was again time for another a spin, Hope's spin! A stern cold stare only confirmed to Hope it was expected the game would continue on, regardless of any disabilities! Demonstrating only the slightest hint of mercy the bottle was carefully placed into Faith's right hand. This was followed by the abrupt command "Pass the Bottle to Hope!"

Muffled sighs and cries watched on in terror as the circling bottle reduced its spinning motion to a slow wind down. Disparagingly it was again destined to settle back on Justice! Speechless, a despondent Hope looked to Faith in full knowledge there would most likely be another dare! Another dark challenge, undoubtedly aimed at a trembling Hope. All too soon Hope's reservations were confirmed as the stone faced Justice announced "Hope I chose you and I chose dare, like it or not it's your turn!"

"Please Justice, what have I ever done to you? What are you planning?" begged the mortified Hope

"Silence, you can't escape your chosen destiny" announced a deadly serious looking Justice

"What is it, what do you want me to do, it's dare isn't it!" cried out Hope

"Yes Hope it is a dare and you know the outcome if you do not complete it" laughed Justice as intimidatingly she grasped the nearby knife!

"I wont do it, whatever it is, I just wont do it!" screamed a defiant Hope in the off chance her words of rebellion may somehow halt all intended challenges.

"Hope you have two choices, the knife or the powder! The powder is the dare and the knife is the punishment if you do not accept the dare!"

"What is the dare, tell me what is it?" Hope's quivering voice sheepishly questioned

"I am pleased you asked" stated Justice as from by her side she produced a small canister filled with a loose dark substance

"What is it?" queried the frightened Hope in the full knowledge it was most likely gun powder!

"I want you to make a big spark for me" laughed Justice as next she held a cigarette lighter aloft

"How? What do you want me to do with that?" A puzzled Hope questioned as she realized it would surely involve something sinister?

'Relax, I just want you to ignite the powder, it's all you have to do, easy"

"Where will the powder be?

"Oh didn't I previously mention this? It will be on your face, of course!" Justice happily informed a horrified Hope

"No No No, I simply want do it" retaliated Hope, knowing full well all refusals were probably pointless at this time.

"Ok it will be the knife then if you don't lay on your back" Justice replied as once more she proudly held the threatening knife up high for the others to see.

"No stop, I choose the powder" pleaded Hope in an attempt to alleviate Justice's undisclosed intentions with the threatening knife!

"Faith stop your sobbing, I need your help" Justice requested

"Me, what can I do? I can't, I just can't" cried out a despondent Faith

"Faith! You can and you will! Just put your hands on Hope's shoulders to keep her down flat, Hope lay on your back. Now! Get on your back!"

Looking particularly worried Hope looked back at the rusty knife in Justice's hands then reluctantly decided to comply. Begrudgingly she slowly positioned herself flat on the floor facing upwards to the ceiling. Justice then handed a hesitant Hope the lighter with instructions to ignite a flame when commanded to do so. Confident her instructions would be strictly adhered to Justice went onto display the dark pungent smelling dark powder above Hope's fearful face. Again came a silent warning of noncompliance as the knife was raised up high. Declaring it was time to complete the dare Justice carefully sprinkled the powder into the shape of a cross on Hope's sweating right cheek. Justice then forcibly held Hope's forehead in conjunction with the instruction to spark the lighter's flame. Tears welled up in Hope's eyes as one last time she silently appealed to Justice's sense of mercy. However it was all to no avail as the threatening knife was now strategically placed to her left cheek.

It was time to complete the dare or suffer the consequences. At this point Hope was fully aware there would be repercussions, possibly worse than the dare? So she lit the lighter then placed the flame onto her horrified face. Instantaneously a small eruption of bright light combined with burning skin and sparks to create cross-shaped image permanently embedded into her right cheek's completion! The aftermath of singed flesh and spent gun powered created an intense pungent odor. It was strong enough that up above Hope's shoulders involuntarily Faith vomited up her recent consumed lunch back down onto Hope's scarred smoldering distressed skin!

"There that wasn't so bad, was it?" Justice reaffirmed to all. Surprisingly the last thing Hope or Faith could ever conceive would now happen. To their utter contempt Justice announced it was time to resume the game! Suffering physical and mental anguish a distraught Hope and Faith were unceremoniously instructed to sit back down on the circle's cushions. It was time for another spin! To make things decisively worse Justice's brashly declared it was to be her turn again! Eyes closed tightly as the bottle spun around to its destined recipient. Then, to the sheer dread of Hope and Faith the slowing bottle settled on a stern faced Justice. Murmured fears and tears echoed throughout the room as concerned thoughts of what was still to come would soon be reality. What would the deranged Justice dare one of them to do next? This was a terrifying nightmare, apparently destined to only get worse! However as the rooms echoed sobbing subdued came the cryptic words that nether Hope or Faith had expected to hear

"Justice I choose you, I now dare you to become an individual"

Following a long drawn out vague glance around the room Justice proudly stood up and then announced how much she hated being an identical triplet! Finally it was decreed, that from this time onwards their birthday would never to be the same! Moments later with no further words spoken Justice opened an unlocked door then left her sisters, Hope and Faith to their thoughts

### Cannibal Soup

If you dare to dream then be prepared to scream

After the last and longest of the mega wars, as predicted the decline of human civilization continued on it's downward spiral. To a point that not only has the traumatized landscape felt the life being sucked out of it, but also the hapless souls left to walk upon it. Vast baron rust deserts and twisted city ruins all intertwine to create a world far detached from all living memory of a previous existence. Broken and scarred, the planet was curiously renamed "New World" Of course there was absolutely nothing new about this declining biosphere what so ever! The remaining "Powers that be" would try in vain to implant an image of rebirth and regeneration to the last of this world's survivors. However any thoughts that anything good could truly blossom up from this derelict abyss of misery. Would only confirm to all those remaining to roam the planet's surface that these unsighted people left in charge had most likely never actually exited the safety of their deep bunkers! With extremely limited supplies and lack of official guidance the "New World's" population are now be forced to find a way to feed themselves. Simply put, they must adapt or perish!

Over time and out of sheer necessity the post apocalyptic world would offer up some surprisingly tasty delicacies for the discerning pallet. The menu would offer Recycled Blood Pudding, Mutant Sheep's Brains, Road Kill Stew, Tex Mex Worms and Hog's Head Hamburgers to name just a few. For a short period of time there was a growing abundance of the promised fruit and vegetables everywhere! Yet strangely there is not much demand for a vegetarian based cuisine these days? You could say "We Love Our Protein" For the seasoned scavenger there was once a vast cornucopia of urban based treats just waiting for the taking. Sure, we all remember the old franchises such as Big Mikes Mice and Kentucky Cane Toads. But they were the good old days and the world of fast food scraps is long gone now, sadly just a memory. It really is quite amazing to think of how easily without even trying we were able to eradicate so many of the old world pests, simply by putting them on the menu! Talk about good times and great tastes.

Square Head Davey prefers to be simply called SquareHead as he feels the inclusion of the Davey part makes him sound just a bit pompous. When you consider his main target market consists of good ole fashioned urban rust scavengers, he may very well be correct. Stay a people's man has always been his creed. SquareHead is well aware that to be seen as one of them highfalutin types could be his ultimate downfall, when you live in a world of flesh scraps and worms! A true entrepreneur by heart SquareHead loves the challenge of making something out of nothing and this post apocalyptic war landscape has allowed for him to try his hand at many varied ventures. He has even come close to succeeding on a number of occasions but has always been defeated by the same scenario, lack of resources to continue! To say this ongoing dilemma frustrates him no end would be an understatement indeed. After all, he nearly made it to the big time with his "Trade a limb" scheme.

A simple idea that allowed for the barter of body parts in exchange for services and supplies. Every Sunday for nearly a year the local freakshow of society's misfits were able to meet up and trade all their unwanted possessions (Including body parts) for basically anything the mind could think of? "Toe nail condiments for that extra crunch!" or perhaps "Fresh Maggots to clean up that Gang Green" or how about "An arm for assistance with eradication of looters" SquareHead would charge a small entrance fee (Normally a bullet or part of a unwanted digit) to stall holders and attendees. However the main worry for SquareHead was he eventually started to notice the growing number of one armed local folk waving to him as traveled into town on the non-market days. It occurred to him that sooner or later this diminishing community would eventually run out of body parts and services to trade. It would most likely at this point they will figure out the only real winner in all this was SquareHead. Damn, as usual a resources problem, time to move on!

Then there was that the one time he truly believed the perfect idea had finally come to him "Mobile Meat" A simple idea that would allow for folk to sell him their meat based products such as unrequired ears, noses or toes while in turn he then sold them jars to store any extra "Unwanted Items Of Flesh" Maybe even for the next time he hit town? This idea offered a real chance to build up a customer base and ongoing resource that could be cleverly revisited several times during the course of a year! SquareHead would finally now be able offer a constant supply of reasonably fresh produce all year long. SquareHead also believed his business name jingle had a certain flare to it! "Giblets On The Go" perfect! However the one thing he did not allow for was the roaming plague of mutant rats that would completely devour all of his stock and then all of his customers stock. Those damn rampaging rats even figured out how break the jars and get a free feed! The grand time of "Giblets On The Go" had now sadly passed.

The one lasting quality SquareHead possessed was the ability to always bounce back! Time and time again he would try out these brave "New World" ventures while continuously telling himself "This is gonna be the one, I can feel it in my bones" SquareHead was well aware that this strange new existence really did offer up some unique opportunities! It was just up to him to conceive them. Then one night over some stewed rat's tails SquareHead finally realized the one true resource that was a constant, human despair! Yes it was true, everywhere you looked there were broken and defeated people just praying for an early death and quick way out of this forsaken world. It occurred to SquareHead that he could actually help them with this problem and if he happens upon some riches along the way, well so be it! After all, he would be doing a community service and eradicating all of those among us who desperately seek an ending to their suffering of such a harsh existence. SquareHead continued on with his rats tail feast while contemplating the various ways he could exploit the untapped misery in us all.

Then like a bolt of laser lightning, it hit him. The time for a culinary climate change had officially arrived. This enterprising self appointed "Chef" named SquareHead might just have come up with the solution to the resources problem, Cannibal Soup! It's absolutely perfect SquareHead told himself. I will offer a quick end to a wretched life and in return you can be fed to starving masses! The more and more he thought about it the more in fell in love with the idea. At last, the perfect business idea for the "New World" was upon him and he even had the brand name's motto worked out "Cannibal Soup, It's Chunky!" Finally we can stop digging up old graves in the hope of finding a good feed of maggots or the occasional dry eye that is still edible. Sure, a great Barbeque sauce does hide most of these tainted ingredients! However things that still squirm as you munch down on them can be just a little off putting at times. As for what we find at the open sewage pits, well perhaps that would be better left as a secret. After all we do have certain standards in this "New World" order!

The one constant thing this newage society of misfits and urban warriors really crave with their aged blood wine is an adequate helping of grasshopper grit dip. Frustratingly, those little bastards are getting harder and harder to catch! Besides, let's face it once you have tasted human flesh you just can't go back to that boring old leftover mystery offal and insect based form of nutrition. No it simply won't do! After all, what are we? Animals? I think not! Next day SquareHead wandered the many streets of open despair and calculated that at least half of the folk on view may actually take up his macabre offering to end it all? "Heck I may even throw in a few cans for free if the person offering themself has a family member with them! What a way to leave this planet, knowing you have fed your kin folk and also helped to save the world!" Working overtime SquareHead's eager mind then set about getting this brave new venture up and running. Hey no time to waste, we're still hungry!

From past experiences there was one thing he knew for sure and was that such a brash venture would need to start off in a big city, if he wanted to really establish a brand name and for the word to quickly spread. After much careful consideration of all viable options including population base, whereabouts and abandoned industrial wasteland factories. It was decided the most advantageous place to be was New York. It was perfect the location with its vast number of lost souls. Plus it was also a great place to eek out a good supply of jars and other usable containers to sell Cannibal Soup in! By now SquareHead was thinking big and concluded he would need help to really get this new venture off the ground. Surely not a problem though, for there must be a multitude of desperate folk willing to work for the minimum wage (Two Cans of Cannibal Soup a day) Bags packed and thumb pointed out to the road SquareHead began hitch hiking his way to the promised land!

SquareHead loved to see all the different manner of post nuclear war vehicles traveling down the highway. Some were run on bio fuel and some were even solar. Every now and then if you were lucky you would view an old school petrol based machine chugging up the road. Of course such sightings were rare indeed but you never know? Two days into the journey and with no luck so far SquareHead happily accepted a ride on the back of a horse drawn kart! It wasn't quite as fast as the others but it was certainly going in the correct direction, New York. "So what's ya name?" the driver asked. "SquareHead" came the reply as then he asked what title the driver went by? "Ah most folk just plain call me Davey" An astonished SquareHead went onto explain that he actually possessed the same name but rarely used it in public. As the two slowly traveled down the remnants of a once bustling major highway SquareHead shared his inspired vision of a human based soup empire. Not long after a partnership was born, SquareHead and Davey. Nothing hifalutin about that!

Some days later the decaying silhouette of a once great city skyline came into view. Finally they had arrived and after much planning would begin the start up process for the business. Cans, jars and anything that could hold Cannibal Soup were hurriedly accumulated onto the back of a fast filling kart. Whilst all this was happening SquareHead's sharp eyes scouted the deteriorating landscape for the perfect location to open up shop? An old Meat Work's factory with a storefront would be perfect and as luck would have it after only four days searching a worthy establishment was found! It was perfect, there were rusty old vats to make the soup in and even an old coolroom that with a little work might possible refrigerate supplies? (Or at least stop them rotting for a day or two?) SquareHead and Davey spent the next month or so excitedly working away and preparing the premises for a glorious rebirth. The proud new home of Cannibal Soup!

SquareHead's extra well honed scavenging skills combined with Davey's sound electrical knowledge would soon amount to a venue boasting a sophisticated power supply via reclaimed solar panels and abandoned generators. The reinvigorated coolroom was also now a suitable storage facility for large quantities of frozen flesh and other assorted meat treats. Heck, it may have even passed the Health and Safety Standards of the old world? Vats, boners and electric saws were cleaned up and returned to reasonable working condition. Even the rundown old storefront received a tasteful makeover, after all first impressions are important! In what seemed no time at all much of the required working space out rear in the factory was now ready to operate. The only real stickler was the perplexing question of where the folk wanting to end it all would indeed "End It All?" SquareHead was well aware this would be the one vital aspect of the business that truly makes or breaks this daring "New World" venture.

Even when we have lost all hope, the simple human requirement of a death with dignity remains. This was undoubtedly going to be a topic of much heated discussion over the coming days. SquareHead felt the whole process of bringing in Religion or other 'Faith Issues" would drastically slow the processing down to a trickle. Where as Davey believed the ultimate sacrifice would need to be acknowledged and celebrated in any and all customs relevant to the donors needs or requirements. All forms of various scenarios were bandied about "How about they say a prayer here and then jump into the mincer from above?" or "What if we allow a close relative to do the final act then push the body into the boiling hot vat?" Time and time again there could be no agreement as now even more complex options were heatedly debated! "How about we shoot them out the back and make some kind of conveyor belt to bring them in on?" Painstakingly each and every new process would need to be examined for major flaws and perceived benefits?

Consideration that all souls committing suicide would be rejected at Heavens Gates was an added problem to boot. Always the salesman, SquareHead was happy to give some ground on this requirement. Definitely no suicides unless the donor is happy to spend eternity somewhere other than Heaven! At last they were making ground, another aspect to final act was the cost of bullets? SquareHead could see this sometimes hard to find commodity may also become a spanner in the works. So he set about considering alternatives, sledge hammers, knives and even good old fashioned concrete blocks to crush a skull with but nothing seemed to truly inspire? Then finally in a moment of clarity Davey suggested they make use of Guillotines, they're quick, not too messy and a relative could even pull the handle! Thus allowing for these lost souls to make their way to Heaven! At last they had a viable solution suitable to all. Plus there was the added bonus of being able to have the brains separated from the body and ready for separate processing, perfect!

SquareHead loved Davey's new method, as it had been secretly hoped to make a "Special Blue Ribbon blend of Cannibal Soup" Using the main ingredient of a well fermented spiced up brain. Time is money and if we can already have the head off the body and ready to split the skull open even better a rather contented SquareHead contemplated. Looking around the final work area Davey suggested it may be time to get some employees to work on the factory floor while he and SquareHead would oversee the running of the storefront and the other associated aspects of this going concern. Who knows they may actually soon have to hire a factory manager to keep all things running smoothly. After all you can't have grieving relatives blocking up the isles of the factory floor! No they would have to say their final goodbyes outside then come in and pull the handle. Then after a loved one's death collect their Cannibal Soup. SquareHead and Davey estimated they could probably process fifty or so bodies in under an hour if everything ran smoothly!

After carefully assessment of the many and varied body shapes of the folk aimlessly wandering the streets. SquareHead calculated the average yield to be approximately fifteen cans of Cannibal Soup extracted from a donor. Davey was not so positive and considered twelve per person to be closer to the real yield for their efforts. Either way with two cans returned to the family it did leave a healthy profit margin of least ten cans! Perhaps they could up the ante to include three cans for regular family donations? After all it really did seem like the honorable thing to do. Upon completion of the last of the guillotines plus one last inspection of the factory grounds both SquareHead and Davey agreed they were now ready to go into the promotional phase of this wonderful soup business! A few blood wines and one brainstorming session later. A number of slogans were signed off as being the best and most likely ads guaranteed to attract attention to the new and exciting world of Cannibal Soup!

Overjoyed that they were nearly at the starting gate and lost in the dreams of growing possibilities to come Davey contently pondered all the company's new jingles "Join The Cool Kids, eat Cannibal Soup" or "Save The Planet, Donate to Cannibal Soup" " Cannibal Soup, The Family Food" and SquareHead's all time favorite "Cannibal Soup, It's chunky!" Slogans completed, the next piece of the puzzle was ready to be implemented. Get the people on the street to start donating themselves! After all what's a business without stock? SquareHead and Davey would now set about surveying the city to identify and record the most promising locations for willing participants to join in the grand opening! (On the menu of course) After some successful scouting of all the obvious places such as the many shantytowns, abandoned hospitals, rubbish dumps and open sewer pits the pair now concentrated all their efforts upon the vast underworld population of the city.

SquareHead enthusiastically practiced all the reasons why people should donate "How can you be happy living a life like this? Do some good with what's left of your time" or "Did you know that the average donation can feed a single family for nearly five days!" and one of his most memorable "Give a part of yourself so the world can re-grow" It was times like these that SquareHead considered just how well he may have done running an advertising agency in a world prior to the Mega Wars. Such a pity! Oh well gotta keep going, and with that they entered the sub terrarium depths of below the cracking sidewalk. The way in was easy enough, just go to one of the old subway stations and start exploring! Armed with flaming torches in hand the pair proceeded into the vast array of dark unknown tunnels and connecting rooms to a once bustling train system. Occasionally the inspired pair would stop to paint the company name on some of the brighter sections of this underworld "Cannibal Soup Its Chunky"

In the darkened mass of what is known to be the underworld, numerous voices could be heard but rarely seen? So SquareHead just started his verbal sales pitch out loud "Did ya hear about that new factory up top? They reckon they'll give ya kin folk two cans of soup if you top yourself off at their factory, sounds like a good deal!" Then minutes later "I hear you can also go there and just buy the soup, Cannibal Soup. They say it's pretty tasty and good for ya!" After many repeated announcements, eventually some of the shy underworld folk came forth to inquire about this strange new idea? "So if we top ourselves we can get some food for our family?" "Yep that's correct!" "Do we get cans if we find donators?"... "You sure do" a laughing SquareHead enthusiastically replied "Hey it's a great deal I tells ya!" Once satisfied the seed had been successfully planted in each new section visited the pair of promoters would then travel even further into the waiting darkness.

Many mysterious miles would be walked over the next couple of days and at last the word was now starting to spread. Cannibal Soup is in town! Feeling close to an end of the big promotion SquareHead suggested just one more trip into the underworld should do it. Then they would surely be ready to start production. Davey was in full agreement and explained how only this morning at the front gate he had to turn away a few eager lost souls intent on ending it all. "I told them comeback tomorrow and we'll happily cut your heads off!" SquareHead patted him on the shoulder and said "Well done Davey, well done" Arriving at the final underground destination torches were quickly lit up as the pair excitedly proceeded forwards into the waiting darkness. Once again the sales pitch was put into action! However this time there was a distinct lack of interest Plus a noticeable absence of accompanying voices? The pair of "New World" entrepreneurs were genuinely surprised. Due to the fact every other time they entered the darkness there had been a bit of a flurry of activity to find out more about Cannibal Soup!

"I wonder why these particular folk are so shy?" Davey inquired "Can't say I know" replied SquareHead who was by now starting to explore off the main train track just a little. Pointing his flaming torch to the darker cavities in the tunnel it was soon noticed many of the campsites appeared to be abandoned or currently uninhabited for some reason? This all seemed just a little strange. Slightly curious SquareHead decided to investigate these campsites even further. Only to then find out that the residents were in fact present but were longer in the land of the living? Thorough examination of the many fallen corpses soon revealed that these poor folk had only recently been feasted upon. "What a shame, they could done all this at the factory a despondent SquareHead told Davey "What do ya think done it to them?" a perplexed Davey asked "Cant say exactly but I think maybe rats or some other vermin got to these poor folk while sleeping off some blood wine?"

"Seems these rats gotta big tasting for the brains!" Davey pointed out as he soon noted nearly all the bodies on display had their skulls eaten through and all the brains removed. Strange to say why but the rest of the bodies remained mostly untouched and intact? "Dam these sure are fussy rats" SquareHead commented "Yep they must have waited until all these folk were drunk then burrowed right on in!" Shaking his head in disappointment SquareHead remembered how hungry rats can get sometimes as now he turned to make his way back to the surface. "Come on Davey, there aint no customers left for us down here. What a damn shame, we could have got a lot of cans out of these folk. Darn those sneaky rats!" The journey back to the surface was to reveal more and more of these unfortunate souls, much to SquareHead and Davey's ongoing frustration. "Damn, what a waste of good soup flesh"

Arriving back at the factory the eager pair of promoters were greeted by the welcoming sight of many prospective customers and donators. All positioned outside the front gate "Is this the soup place?" One crusty looking old gent asked another "Yep can't ya read the sign, it says 'Cannibal Soup Its Chunky' yeah I reckon we're at the right spot alright" Davey nudged SquareHead in the ribs as if to say "Look we've done it" SquareHead looked back at him then gave an approving nod. It truly appeared they were on a winner. Just had to hope tomorrow went well and they would soon be on the way to the big time! Aware that some folk may just be wanting to buy soup tomorrow it occurred to Davey they really should have a little Cannibal Soup ready to start selling. So then without a moments hesitation he looked to the crowd then asked "Who's here to top themselves?" In sharp response a number of hands quickly shot into the air. "Well if that's what ya wants we can help ya with that, right this very night. Just follow me through to the factory"

In a scene reminiscent of Mosses parting the Red Sea the pair of soon to be soup manufacturing tycoons proceeded forwards whilst the gathered crowd swiftly parted way to allow them through. Once inside the front gate SquareHead loudly called out "Well who's gonna be first?" "Me" "No No Me" "Forget them choose me!" Astonished by the amount of replies, Davey soon calmed the enthusiastic crowd down "Don't worry, we'll do out best to process you all by morning!" Now pointing the way to the waiting guillotines and buckets. Inspired, the pair worked feverously through the night, regularly bringing down the sharpened blade on all donors. One after another the many decapitated bodies piled up higher and higher. It soon became obvious they needed help! "Hey who wants a job?" From the back of the line came the words "I would really prefer to be working than donating I suppose, yes I can do some work for you!" SquareHead responded, "Well get those bodies into the mincing vats then" Davey further added "We got cannibal soup to make!"

Five or so hours later an exhausted SquareHead, Davey and new guy halted production. "What a night!" Davey enthusiastically shouted out loud while further adding "No what a great night! Over one hundred processed and ready to be jarred tomorrow morning just before we open up" SquareHead then spoke "Hey new guy, grab a limb and some toes and a nose for your efforts tonight, come back tomorrow, thanks!" And with that the night's work was done, well almost "Ah that's right the severed heads needed to be placed into the coolroom for further processing" Upon completion of that one final task of a day's busy work all lights and machinery were then shut down. It was finally time to get some much deserved shuteye. Sleeping wherever spare space was available the budding soup tycoons happily dreamed of a world saturated with the wonderful new product proudly titled "Cannibal Soup" Because it's chunky!

The new days sun appeared brightly over the horizon to reveal an ever-increasing crowd of donors and customers. All patiently waiting for entry at the front gates. Peeking out the window a noticeably excited SquareHead sensed a big day of official production for Cannibal Soup. And to think it was only their first day! Alongside, Davey equally shared SquareHead's unbridled enthusiasm as they now hurriedly readied themselves to open up the gates for business. Pleasingly, the new guy was also back and looking ready to help with the day's production (Must have enjoyed the fresh flesh) It was all going swimmingly well and would no doubt only grow from this point. Keen donors lined up behind each guillotine then quickly said their final farewells to family members who warmly assured them "They were doing the right thing" One after another the blades came rushing down as body and head were cleanly separated then sorted into vats or storage. Out front the growing queue stretched to nearly around the block!

The word was officially out, Cannibal Soup is chunky and available to purchase right here, right now! Cans, jars and other assorted containers were hastily filled with congealed blood, red fluids plus chunks of assorted cuts including muscle, offal, fingers, ears, toes and noses. No two jars were ever the same! SquareHead really like the idea that variety came with the product. In fact soon enough he was proudly yelling out "Cannibal Soup, full of variety!" As the busy first day's harvest continued it was soon obvious to SquareHead and Davey the new guy would surely need yet another new guy to help him! Mincers and saw machines continuously buzzed away into the mounting mass of blood soaked body parts. Amazingly they found it hard to make a dent on the ever growing pile! Soon enough another tow new guys would have to be recruited, then another. This organized chaos was growing bigger by the minute with no signs of abating. Exhausted, SquareHead desired just a brief moment to take it all in but the fast world of Cannibal Soup production did not allow for any such luxuries. No, back to work!

Long hard hours later the sun finally began to set over the official first day's inspired production. Then, just the same as the previous day only the decapitated heads remained for processing. Except this time SquareHead suggested it would be prudent to start making the "Premium Brain Blend" Meaning all the skulls would need to be cracked open and brains placed into the slow overnight cookers. Feeling quite hungry after a hard days work all the new guys offered to stay back and help, in the hope of receiving an extra limb for their efforts? Management happily obliged them all with the expected bonus. It was close to midnight by now and finally all the required tasks of the day's production had been completed. It was a massive day for Cannibal Soup's beginnings. Looking thoroughly pleased with himself, SquareHead couldn't help but boast a little "See I told ya so, there's real money to be made in all our despair! I just had to figure out a way to harness it?" A yawning Davey agreed "Yep you sure did get it right this time"

Once asleep, SquareHead and Davey found themselves lost in many dreams of grandeur and riches instead of a factory full of mangled torsos, buckets of eyes and jars of knees. They happily dreamt of a fortified house and maybe some form of bio car to promote Cannibal Soup across the entire country with? Ah the rich life can be good, even in a post apocalyptic world! As they dis so, simmering special blend brain soup slowly cooked away during the night. In no time at all, the whole factory was awash with the wafting aromas of brains, salt, pepper and SquareHead's secret ingredient of aged mince tongue! Who could have guessed that things would sky rocket so dramatically, basically from day one? It seemed the "New World" really was ready to accept something as unique as Cannibal Soup. If the first official twenty four hours were anything to go by? Still amerced in deep dreams SquareHead dared to imagine the speech he would give to the hidden powers that be. "Yes Sir, all the rumors are indeed true, a good idea can feed the starving masses!"

The warm percolating aroma of Special Blend Brain Soup continued to fill every nook and cranny of the factory until finally, it began wafting out to the waiting world. Outside the gathered mass of sleeping folk also enjoyed a night of pleasant dreams. (Thanks to the odors) It was fair to assume Special Blend Brain Soup was going to be even more popular than standard Cannibal Soup. Could this be the moment that the world's food shortages really came to an end? Was it a new beginning? After all, the balance sheet seemed correct. Some folk donate themselves and some folk get to keep eating. In a completely sane and just world it really did need to be said, "What could possibly be more efficient? It's the Yin and Yang scenario! A world where we give a bit to get a bit and in the end it all balances out nicely, thank you Cannibal Soup!"

Contented hours passed by way too quickly as eventually the new day began, SquareHead opened his weary eyes and could not help but notice an abundance of strange muffled sounds of groaning out front. "Wow those folk outside are really hungry, must be that smell of brains!" It was surely gonna be another big day going by the constant murmuring sounds of the hungry masses camped out front. SquareHead wandered over to the sleeping Davey and announced it was time to get started. Still a bit drowsy, Davey asked what the strange noise was out front? "Oh that must be the waiting customers, sound hungry don't they! I hope all the new guys come back? I think we're gonna need em all today" The soup tycoons hurriedly prepared themselves for another busy day. After a short time Davey couldn't help but notice the muffled sounds out front seemed to be getting louder and louder? At this point SquareHead's attention also turned to the front as next they both slowly moved forwards to further investigate the source of the strange sounds?

Positioned inside the storefront the pair of curious soup tycoons edged closer and closer to the front window's blind to sneak a peek at the outside world. Hands placed on the blind SquareHead looked to Davey for an approving nod, which soon came forth. Then with Davey's approval SquareHead swiftly pulled back the blind only to see hundreds upon hundreds of blood soaked Zombies in the process of devouring all the customers and donors! Worryingly they were also forcing the front fence down. "Holy Fuck!" screamed a disbelieving Davey as one second later his mind processed their impending dilemma. Less than a second later SquareHead's disbelieving mind was now on par with Davey as they both shouted "Better Fucking Run, Quick Out The Rear Way!" Meanwhile out front, the old weakened front gate now came crashing down as next a wall of crazed Zombies rushed the storefront. Sounds of breaking glass and depraved zombie moans instantly reverberated from the storefront and into the rear of the factory out back!

Wasting no time what so ever SquareHead and Davey desperately weaved their way through the various piles of sorted meat and flesh. While at the same time also trying to avoid a collision with all the factory's mincers and meat saws. Blood soaked floors made for slippery going as a sliding SquareHead soon discovered upon hitting one of the killing machines, SLOOSH came the sound of a rapidly descending guillotine blade barely missing his head by just millimeters! Slightly stunned but well aware what the horror was behind him, SquareHead soon rejoined Davey in a hasty escape. In no time at all these would be Soup Tycoons had reached the factory's rear exit. They both took a short moment to stop and take one last look at the home of Cannibal Soup as by now the frenzied mobile mass of Zombies entered the factory floor. Time to go, must leave now! Reaching the back fence and ready to make their escape a surprised Davey watched on as for some reason SquareHead stopped dead in his tracks? "Of course"

Especially keen to keep going at this point a puzzled Davey looked at him then asked "What?" Lost in thought SquareHead slowly edged forwards, nearly ready to scale the fence "Those people in the subway, it wasn't rats that got to em. It was those fucking Zombies out front" Davey interjected "Don't you mean "Inside and heading our way!" Looking back at the groaning mass SquareHead replied "Oh yeah, hey I know why they are here, it was the aroma of the Special Blend Brain Soup!" Nodding his head in full agreement Davey couldn't help but to say " Well it did smell pretty darn good" Behind the pair the moving mass of Zombies were now fast approaching! "Come on time to go" Yelled a climbing Davey, SquareHead took his wise advice and also started a rapid ascent to safety! The two entrepreneurs would reach the top of the fence just as a wall of Zombies collided with the lower section.

The force of hungry zombie momentum was easily strong enough to catapult the pair to the safety of the other side of the fence. Bouncing off the ground and out of danger they looked back at the decaying rage that is a group of hungry brain seeking Zombies trying to break down a fence "Come on keep running" Davey suggested. Once again SquareHead was in full agreement, running to any direction except behind them! SquareHead soon found himself on rough terrain as his feet hurriedly scuffed across all manner of sharpened objects such as broken glass shards, sticks, small clumps of concrete and assorted pieces of metal. A short time later and presumably out of immediate danger a noticeably limping SquareHead allowed himself a brief moment to recuperate. Slightly cut up himself, Davey also came to a stop and to his utter surprise noticed that SquareHead was smiling? "Why are the fuck are you smiling?" a curious Davey inquired. To which an inspired SquareHead cheerfully responded "I've got it! We can make shoes out of human skin, we just gotta dry the skin out in the sun then rub some bio oil on it" It was at that moment Cannibal Soup officially closed its doors and their new company....... Skin Sole Shoes had begun!

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