so as you can see here Tom,
There Doesn't appear to be a out of control Monster attacking the city
It's just another normal day
so back to you in the studio!
Thanks for the update Helicopter Jim!
And for our Top Story tonight:
Donald Trump:
Villain?
Or villain?
HEEEELLLLP ME!!!
This thing is out of control
It's destroying my livelihood! Help!
Yes...
With Just a little more money
and soon my dark creation will be complete
And I'll prove to the world that dark matter exists!
MR. INSTITUTION!!
It's time to put a stop to your theory!
Why, If it isn't Grand Unification Man Coming to stop  me again!
But your too late this time!
There is no stopping this theory, It's much too powerful
Only a fool would stand in its way!
I think It's high time someone criticized your dark matter theory
It's irresponsible spending and out of control
assumptions are hurting the lives of innocent people!
OH?!?!!
and I suppose
You think, you're the one to stop it!
Don't you?
Well, I don't see anyone else man enough to..
Stand up to you...
HEY THERE!!!!!
ITS ME FLAT EARTH BOY!
HEY THERE MR. INSTITUTION
ITS TIME THAT YOU'VE BEEN BROUGHT DOWN TO YOUR KNEES,
AND I FLAT EARTH BOY AM GOING TO THE BE ONE
AM GONNA PUT THIS OVERGROWN
SCIENTIFIC THEORY TO BED
EVENTHOUGH THIS THEORY IS BEING
EXPRESSED ARTISTICALLY AS A MONSTER
IT'S NO LESS OF A THREAT IN THE REAL WORLD
but,
Don't listen to me,
DON'T TAKE IT FROM ME
I'm just flat earth boy.
HEY! DID YOU GUYS KNOW THAT NASA
DOES NOTHING BUT LIE?
THEY SHOULD JUST STAND FOR
NEVER. A. STRAIGHT. ANSWER.
I TELL YA!
they're just a big
THEY'RE JUST A BIG PACK OF LIARS
EVERYTHING THEY SA...
My dark Matter Theory is perfect!
There's no possible evidence that you could provide
that would make anyone dare question
If Dark Matter makes up the majority of matter in the universe!
Well, How about a little Physical evidence
by way of...
Experimentation!
WHAT?!?!
The Xenon1T experiment!
With an estimated total cost of...
$11 Million
It failed to detect any trace of dark matter
Well...
You see... It's really complicated
It takes more than one experiment...
The Pandax-II experiment!
with an estimated total cost of...
$23 Million
It too Failed to detect any trace of dark matter
Well, It takes more than just two experiments
It takes a lot to..
OH FOR THE LOVE OF
The LUX experiment
Costing a whopping $120 Million Dollars
It also failed to detect any trace of dark matter
Just admit it Mr. Institute!
you've spent too much money funding this theory
and not getting any results!
In the business world
You would be a failure, A fraud!
Taking investors money and not delivering a single result in return!
It's shameful!
ha ha ha ha ha
HA HA HA HAHAHAAH
OOOOH Silly Little Grand Unification Man
This isn't the business world
This is academia!!
And there is something you don't understand about my beautiful theory here
There isn't just ONE Dark Matter Hypothesis
for you to disprove!
There are numerous!
WHIMPS
MACHOS
MOND
LAMDA Cold Dark MODEL
This theory can multiply!
Wherever we find an anomaly in space
WE can create as much dark matter as we need!
And you will never defeat this theory!
HAHHAHA
Dr. Gunz!!!!
You're a life saver!
I'll always have your back
Grand Unification Man
And besides
Where's the fun in letting you disprove this theory all on your own
Here's the thing MR. Institution
it's not just a complete and total lack of physical
Experimental evidence
that KILLS this theory.
We've made DIRECT Observations of galaxies
moving in ways not predicted by a single one
of you nonsense dark matter theories
MEANING!
Your Dark Matter Hythesis can't even successfully predict
The things we see with our eyes and telescopes!
NO!
they can't prove this theory wrong
if they do somehow manage to....
then that would mean...
why that would mean that I would have to call into question
Everything we know about the universe!
as well as our entire understanding of gravity!
We would have to go back to the drawing board!
and I will never
EVER!
DO THAT AGAIN!
It's time to end this fight!
What!
NO!
You can't use that!
N-Not against me! That's impossible!
Here is Professor David Tong Speaking at the Royal Institute!
Talking about the worlds largest Particle Accelerator
the Large Hadron Collider
Or L.H.C for short
so the LHC has been running,
it's been running or two years,
It's been running like an absolute dream
It's just, It's a perfect Machine
Two years, This is what it's seen...
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
all of these fantastic beautiful ideas that we've had...
none of them are showing up
at all
So my response is, I think that maybe
we should just go back to the drawing board
and start to challenge some of the assumptions
and paradigms we been holding for the past 30 years
so I should admit
I feel quite energized actually
by lack of results the LHC
It feels good to me that everyone was wrong
It's when we're wrong that we start to make progress
YOU'VE SPENT $9 BILLION
(as of 2010)
WITH A $1 BILLION ANNUAL PRICE TAG
bringing it up to a combined total
of an estimated
$18 BILLION
WITH
NO
DARK
MATTER
DETECTED!!!
hey! are you guys talking about The large Hadron Collider??
did you know it was built to open a portal to another dimension?
didn't cha see the opening ceremony!?
It was overtly satanic!
The logo for Cern is Three Sixes!
There's a massive global satanic conspiracy I Tell ya!
ABORTION IS JUST MODERN DAY HUMAN SACRIFICE!
TO MOLOCH!
HOW CAN YOU PEOPLE NOT SEE THIS!
it seems your dark matter hypothesis has been thoroughly vetted
and the theory has been taken to it's natural conclusion
it took billions of dollars and years of wasted time
chasing something that's just not there
it's time to admit that your theory....
is wrong!
NO!
NOO!
I'll never give up this theory!
no matter how much evidence there is to the contrary!
No matter how much money we spend!
Dark Matter must be there for Einsteins theory of General Relativity to be correct!
And your little Charade here today is meaningless!
at the end of the day!
You will never defeat General Relativity!
NEVER!
oh...
and don't worry Grand Unification Man....
I've got BIG plans in store for you
BIG!
until we meet again... Losers!
He got away
yes
but maybe people will now think twice before blindly accepting such ludicrous theories!
Hey there little guy!
I've got something something special
Just for you!
Dr. Gunz.... Do you mean the entire premise of dark matter
is based on a logical fallacy?
That's right Grand Unification Man!
This theory should never have existed in the first place
but Mr. Institute was just too stubborn to admit he was wrong
and he still is
but the important thing is that people are now waking up to his
dirty, dirty money wasting tricks
YEAH!
The END!!!
Hey There!
Thank you so much for watching!
be sure to stay on the lookout for episode 2!
It's gonna called "Einsteins evidence fight!"
maybe... that names not for sure
It's where we systematically go through and painstakingly dismantle
Every piece of evidence that "proves Einstein was correct"
including the new black hole image that was just released!
and the gravitational waves!
It's gonna be real fun, so don't miss it!
It's coming soon everybody!
OH! IF ONLY THERE WAS SOME SORT OF RED BUTTON YOU COULD PRESS!
that would let you be notified
When is new video came out!
that said a word on it.... like "subscribe"
That'd be great!
if that service was provided... I don't know that it is
AND I PROMISE YOU WONT BE DISAPPOINTED!
MAYBE YOU WILL...
IF YOU ARE
JUST LOWER YOUR STANDARDS!
THAT'S WHAT I DO!
I LOWER MY STANDARDS, I'VE NEVER DISAPPOINTED!
