Dear Whiskey, how are you doing?  I decided to write you this letter. I hope it finds you well
I can still remember the time we first met. You know I was a mere boy of maybe ten or eleven years old
in Gratz, Austria. You know life was so good.
But then I met you, and it got even better. Of course, I could never
let my parents know you know that you
were my friend I guess you could say you
know in a way this was of many of my 
secret relationships. But we had so much
fun together. I remember going down to
the lake as a teenagers to flirt with the
girls of course
they loved me but it was really only because you were
there. You were really my first wingman, and
i really appreciate that. Then you know a
few years later I was in the army
You know I got really big trouble you give this
crazy idea to go out into the
bodybuilding competitions. Obviously, that turned out to be a fantastic idea. You know I won all
these bodybuilding competitions. I had the
greatest physique in the world. You know I'd go on to do
you know do great things
The Mr. Olympia, etc. thanks to you. You
know it wasn't always easy. You gave me a really
hard time. You'd say, "Arnold, come on. Put some
hair on your chest." I'd say, "No, you know, I have to shave
I got to wear these oils so they can see my muscles." You know I had to glisten 
in the lights.
I looked fantastic. It felt great.  But finally these days you'll be glad to know I
have had some hair on my chest.  So there's that.
You know I was thinking about it you know, back at the time a
lot of people they looked at us like
like we were strange. But to me you know, Whiskey,
it was no stranger as you know maybe to
going to the bar and drinking the gin and the vodka
and the tequila. You know that for me is
strange. But it was an amazing feeling then
when I moved to Venice Beach and
everyone around me was strange. You know California
is my home, and I cannot think of a
better place in the world. Whiskey, there is so much I have to say to you. But I... You know, we kind of grew
apart over the years, and it was real hard on me and
I know it must have been very hard on you. I remember I made
that famous quote about drinking the beer. You know, when you get older you drink the beer.
Of course, you were very jealous. But I just wasn't comfortable at the time talking to everybody
about us
I owed so much of my life, so much of my success
to you. So for that you know now I can look
back and say I'm truly sorry. I'm not sure how much that means to you, but come on, Whiskey, come on.
Forgive me. Here I am. I'm begging your forgiveness. Come on.
Forget beer, you know. I love whiskey.
Come on, I know you know that.
So anyway, what else? You know I have everything
to thank for you, Whiskey. I met Maria.
Of course you convinced me she was so beautiful
I had to marry her. Wow, yeah, hmm. Anyway. So then I worked
in the movies. I became governor. I really
got very business. So I didn't have much  time for you. You know, what can I do?
That's life. You know it's been a very good life. Now I'm talking to people, I grow this beard. I go talk to
people about the climate change. You know you grow the beard it gives you some validity. So
people really respect my opinion about things
now. Anyway, what I really want to say is, Whiskey,
I miss you. I hope I get to see you this holiday
season
and I hope you have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy new year.
Talk to you later,
Arnold
