Нere's a movie that nobody's heard of...
"King Kung Fu."
But how could anybody not love a movie that's all about a gorilla that knows Kung Fu?
Well, it's so bad it's good.
If you like Mystery Science Theater 3000 and B movies like Robot Monster,
then you know what i'm talking about.
About the plot, I don't think there's a lot I have to explain.
It's just a gorilla going around beating everyone up.
And I don't care who you are, that's funny right there.
I'm not gonna lie, there's a lot of filler,
but it sure has its moments
Like when the gorilla interrupts a baseball game for no apparent reason,
clobbering everybody's senses,
and when he interrupts a wild-west gunfight reenactment.
The gorilla talks too. Sort of.
It's more like he's thinking.
But whatever it is, it happens for the sole purpose of adding one-liners.
"I really make like a banana. It's good"
Yeah
So the gorilla is being chased by the cops all around Wichita, Kansas.
The police captain is my favorite character.
"Well I guess that separates the men from the boys, pilgrim."
And yes, he talks like that the whole movie.
Why he's impersonating John Wayne, I have no idea.
I guess he's just so macho he can't help it.
The location of Wichita almost makes it feel like an advertisement to go visit
*music plays*
It's also a convenient place to catch the gorilla.
"Wichita is located in the center of this great country of ours.
and that means quite simply, we have him surrounded."
Brilliant
What makes it is the deliverance.
Look at his face
wincing in pain at his own punchline.
It all finishes off with the chase.
Oh, look at him go!
Oh, here comes the famous glass sheet gag.
They're gonna crash through the glass, just gonna crash-
What? How do you explain that?
Talk about unpredictable!
That's what I call taking a cliché and and giving it a twist.
Now remember when King Kong came in New York City
He chose the tallest building to climb, the Empire State Building.
In King Kung Fu he climbs the tallest building in Wichita at the time,
which so happened to be the Holiday Inn.
I smell another commercial.
I wonder if that Holiday Inn is famous at all.
It should be. I'd want to stay there,
so I could tell everybody it's where King Kung Fu fought a stop-motion helicopter.
And this is also where the funniest line takes place.
"It's time for a one-on-one. Me as the karater,
and him as the karatee."
Oh that just brings me joy!
It's a clean G rated movie.
It combines Kung Fu with slapstick comedy and the "monkey on the loose" genre.
But let's think about those descriptions.
If I look up slapstick in the dictionary it says:
"Comedy based on deliberately clumsy actions and humorously embarrassing events".
But this descends to a new level of "Crap stick".
As for Kung Fu...
Well, you'd better not be expecting Bruce Lee.
And for the "monkey on the loose" genre?
Did you ever see the John Landis movie Schlock.
That was also a ridiculous comedy.
But the monkey in that actually looks real compared to this.
So, it flunks out on everything.
But that's where it's real ingenuity lies.
By steeping so low it reaches all new highs.
You have to be in the right mood to see it.
There's a certain degree of laughter that can only be achieved by something as shocking as this.
This movie is your recess away from seriousness.
Stay up late, return your kindergarten cafeteria mentality,
release the inner moron in you,
and watch King Kung Fu.
Ten stars....(10/10)
