Atena Sadegh (00:00):
What's up everyone. Welcome back to my channel,
the place to be, to get inspired habits, to
live a pretty happy life. Today's video has
been much requested, and it's all about how
to let go release and avoid toxic people.
If you're new to my channel. Welcome, my name
is [inaudible] and every week I share tips,
tricks, techniques, all of that good stuff
to help you build those pretty happy habits
so that you can live a pretty happy life.
So get nice and cozy. Get a cup of coffee,
grab a pen and a piece of paper. If you want
to take notes, and if you are new to my channel,
I would love to have you onboard. And if you
haven't already subscribed, make sure you
click that subscription button and you turn
on that bell notification. So, you know exactly
when I'm posting my next video, when it comes
to toxic people, the most basic thing that
everybody tells me is that they want to avoid
them.
Atena Sadegh (00:54):
And in the beginning I started the video by,
I should say, I filmed this two times before.
So I started those videos by saying what toxic
people are. And yes, I'm going to go through
that. But there's something about the video
that really rubbed me the wrong way. And if
I'm being honest, even the videos that are
super popular here on YouTube, it was something
I couldn't quite put my finger, something
that was really essential and that was missing.
And I feel that I'm going to attempt at least
to address it today. So to give an example
of what I'm talking about, take a load of
this video that has well over 2 million hits,
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Six warning signs. You are dealing with someone
toxic. Number one, toxic people play the victim,
emotional abuse, emotional abuse can be one
of the most painful forms of violence and
a killer of self esteem. Number three, pathological
liars.
Atena Sadegh (01:55):
Well sure. Pathological liars are toxic. And
even the most judgmental persons like myself
or so I think I'm a judgmental. I don't like
pathological liars in my life that said, when
you think of everything, everyone says about
toxic people. In the most basic definition,
someone who's toxic is someone that enters
your life and leaves it making you feel lower,
make you feel less of a person, and just generally
reducing your energetic vibration. Now it's
super easy or so I believe it's super easy
to detect who is toxic outside, but it's less
easy to know what it is about yourself within
you. That is enabling the toxicity. So bear
with me and let me explain as quickly as I
can, because I want you to really listen to
all of this going off on that YouTube video
that has well over 2 million hits. At the
essence of it, a toxic person can have some
or all of the following characteristics they're
emotionally and or physically abusive.
Atena Sadegh (02:57):
That seems pretty obvious that be pathological
liars. I've established that. I agree with
this already. They have tendencies to be controlling.
Hmm. I could see this somewhat. They tend
to be very negative. I ask myself, does this
include people who are suffering from depression?
And then they also say, it's people who like
to play the victim. And this is where I really
asked myself, well, is this the same person
who is the victim of the emotionally and physically
abusive first toxic person? So it's by asking
these questions that I start to realize that
a lot of the videos that talk about how to
remove toxic people really have a narrow vision.
They think they're showing the whole picture
of all you're doing is taking the time to
look at the information that's directly in
front of you. What about everything else?
And when I asked these questions, I clearly
realized that the rest of the vision is very,
very blurry. This narrow vision that I speak
of really boils down to our egos need to be
righteous. Yes, of course it's unpleasant
and unmerited and unacceptable when someone
is emotionally and physically abusive, when
somebody constantly puts himself in that victim
mentality and brings everyone down. And it
definitely sucks having a coworker who is
constantly complaining and gossiping and lying
to you in front of your face. But I started
to ask myself what causes these behaviors.
I started to wonder about the people who are
caught
Atena Sadegh (04:31):
In the cycle of abuse, those who suffer cultural
suppression, generational wounds that have
never been healed. And at the essence of it,
the Epic lock of our global consciousness,
when it comes to understanding what is unconditional
love and the lack of that for each individual,
how many of us can say that we experienced
unconditional love? So
Atena Sadegh 1 (05:03):
After I started really pondering about the
global perception of unconditional love, the
lack of us learning how to love ourselves
unconditionally and how to extend that unconditional
love to others. I sell him became really conscious
of the fact that ever since I must've been
13 or 14 years old, I already knew what the
pressure was. I was informed about it. And
even though it was still a taboo subject,
more and more, we know what the profession
is all about. In fact, the global statistics
force depression, according to the world health
organization, is that well over 300 million
people across the planet, suffer from depression
that we know. And before you co and kind of
write off all 300 million around the world
is really not that big of a deal. Think of
it this way. That's almost the entire population
of the United States. Or if you add Canada,
the UK, France, and my country of origin,
Iran, all of these people together, all of
these people suffer, which suffer from depression.
Atena Sadegh (06:01):
And you may wonder, why am I talking about
depression? Well, let's think of it in a different
way. Our thoughts are the catalyst for how
we feel. And they basically dictate how we
are going to act and the behaviors that we
are going to have. So let's say somebody has
a lot of depressive thoughts. They start feeling
really depressed and they start having toxic
behaviors, such as drug abuse, and then they
become unreliable. Then they become a pathological
liar. There's a little bit of a circle that
starts to be created. It's easy for us to
say, well, we're going to be there for people
who suffer from negative thoughts and depression
when they categorize themselves as depressed.
Well, easy is a strong word. I'm mind you,
even as someone who has suffered from depression,
I know there's a huge, still a huge stigma,
but then we say, we want to avoid toxic people
by all costs.
Atena Sadegh (06:51):
And we take ourselves out of the equation
as if it's a them, us and them thing. But
we're responsible for everything in our society
where responsible for the lack of education
when it comes to unconditional love. And I
started noticing that one of the reasons why
I'm so drawn to do what I do is because I've
noticed early on that fundamental lack. And
I noticed that I want to do my part, at least
in contributing. I don't, I'm not saying everybody
needs to give up everything you're doing and
start learning all sorts of things like Reiki
and hypnosis, but you do need to do your part.
When someone around you is toxic and they
trigger something inside you, instead of avoiding
them or labeling them as toxic, I urge you
to look within yourself. What is it within
yourself that you are shielding? What is it
within yourself that you have put walls up?
Atena Sadegh (07:42):
And instead of running away from them, start
listening to yourself. Now, again, if someone
is abusive, someone is a pathological liar.
Someone is really hampering on your life.
Yes, definitely put a barrier don't feed into
the cycle. If that makes sense. But what I'm
really trying to say is that when you learn
to love yourself unconditionally, when you
understand what that takes, when you expose
your vulnerabilities, you take the time to
heal your heart and heal all of your own insecurities.
You will know. I actually notice toxic people
will not find their way into your life. And
even more important, you will have those natural
boundaries. You won't feel the need to be
condescending. If someone is suffering from
a level of toxic behavior. And even more than
that, maybe just maybe, your level of self-love
that is reflected your level of compassion.
That isn't accompanied by empathy.
Atena Sadegh (08:51):
Yes, I'm saying that clearly there's a difference
between compassion, empathy. When you empathize,
you also personalize that other person's behaviors
and problems, compassion means that you understand
that they're suffering and you're willing
to help them, but you're not going to attach
your energy to theirs. It's a very difficult
thing to do as someone who highly empathetic.
This is something I personally work on daily,
but when you learn that you learn to be unconditional
towards yourself. You start understanding
when someone's not unconditional towards themselves
and just maybe you'll shine a light on them.
And that is a basic human responsibility.
There's so much more to say there's so much
more say all about, you know, there's parts.
I thought about talking about toxic positivity
and going into the details of how to create
boundaries. There's so much to say you guys.
So if you watch this and this sparked your
curiosity, or if you know, within yourself,
there's something you need to fix.
Atena Sadegh (09:42):
Reach out. I do this for a living. Now reach
out to me. I will help you solve it, fix it,
rewire it. And if you have more questions,
comment below, ask away, don't be shy. All
right. So I wish you a super happy day. I
hope my video with, since I'm pressing, it
was a lot of truth bombs, and there's just
so much to say, I could literally go on for
three hours because it's not as easy subject.
And thanks to everyone who dove in and gave
me their opinion and their advice when it
came to toxic people and how to avoid them.
I appreciate you guys so much, and I'm going
to go enjoy the rest of my cup of coffee,
edit this video. And I can't wait to show
it to you guys. That's it have a wonderful
day.
