Hello and welcome to the Feminine
Success Secrets channel. I am Candice Oneida
In today's episode I'm going to
give you six tips for how to self-care
 
Now I've been talking about self-care quite
a lot recently in my videos so I wanted
to create this video to give you some
tips for how to self-care.  you know as
women it's so important that we learn
to fill up first so we need to fill up
energetically first before we go out
there and serve and give and do the
doing that we love to do in our life
this is often so reversed for most women
that I start to work with so I know out
there in the world people talk about
radical self care and i really want to
take the radical out of that and make
self-care something that's not just a
one-off thing or a rare or a radical
thing that you do but it's gets
integrated into a life it becomes a
lifestyle modification that starts to
get you filled up get you what you want
so that you can actually really given
serve in the way you want to now good
way to think of self-care is under the
categories of mind body and spirit the
six tips i'm going to give you today are
under those categories
tip number one a daily desire practice
what if you ask yourself every single
day
what do I desire at least once in the
day now as a woman when you start to
learn to get into a relationship to what
you desire and do eventually this whole
process I do with my clients in my
trainings which is called desire digging
when you get into a relationship into
the real deep types of desire that is
held inside you you start to tap into
the very life source from which your
energy is connected when you tap into
that level of desire you start to feel
the pleasure inside you start to feel
the power hills in your design
fire so the tip here is to ask yourself
what I desire and then to give yourself
a daily desire doesn't have to be a big
big giant thing you can just be a little
thing
give yourself a taste of your desire
every single day at the very very
minimum tip number two for self-care
meditate I have been an ardent
meditation practitioner for 20-something
years i meditate so that i can find
these inner references to myself so that
when I'm making decisions and I am
navigating life i am making these in
inner references and I'm not being
overly taken off track by external
references we are so over stimulated in
the modern world and meditation
practices such a key key part of inner
self care of spirit self care i'm not
saying inner references in order for you to
become independent and solitary it's to
create inner references so that you know
who you are where you are and where you
stand
think of it a little bit like this if
you're a sailboat sailing toward a
destination the sailboat tacks it
moves down like this in tacks but if
you've got this sense of central
reference you keep tacking across that
Center and you keep checking in with all
of the time
this is what meditation is designed for
it takes you inside it takes you away
from the ordinary mind into more subtle
and more clearer and more inner parts of
your soul so when you have these inner
references back to the sailboat
reference you can't get so blown around
by wins and the winds could be other
people's ideas or or other people's
thoughts are things that you read or
things that people say this is all great
i'm a great reader and educator myself
but I always come back to this sense of
center so meditation in terms of
self-care achieves stillness in a
referencing out breath and being real
and of course it takes you into the
orientation of the part of yourself that
can be in close to
connection to the divine did number three in
self-care ask for help now asking for
help can be anything the realm of
practical help around the home to
emotional help and support to our input
and community ideas around how to do
things in your life and business we have
to stop
no nor thing at being a lone wolf as a
entrepreneurial business woman
we need to build community and start to
trust each other men and women trust
each other for the help people want to
help i have found that when i learned to
ask for help which took a while but when
i learned to ask me what I realize how
many people really wanted to help me and
to serve and help me and what i was
doing because I know the same on very
much the same with other people they ask
my help of course I want to help you I'd
love to help you
tip number four in self-care say know
who she goes over the room
I'm saying saying no no is the new yes
what i mean by that is you need to start
creating boundaries in your life
boundaries are important not as things
to block things out but in order to
create clarity about where your values
lie and the things that are of greater
importance to you boundaries are good i
know that you want to help people
I do too but this time you have to go
no I'm not going to be able to do this
one or no I can't do that right now or
no I'm going to suggest somebody else
can do that for you or somebody else
it's a delegation thing right now is a
powerful boundary setter it doesn't need
to come with anger or angst or anything
like that it can just be
mmm-no i can't do that right now now the
learning of how and when to say no comes
back to that gut instinct that in a
referencing I'm taking on too much i
always say yes
learn to say no so say no once this week
okay tip number five in self-care
out breath when we breathe as human
beings we breathe in and we breathe out
breathe in as akin to this sort of
doing action strategy part of ourselves
the masculine and the out breath is the
letting go receptivity surrender part of
ourselves the feminine so practical ways
to do this
turn your cellphone off or on airplane
mode once a day for a little bit you
could also have technology free days i
just went away with my new partner and
we had a completely technology-free
zoning for two-and-a-half days it was
also know really could contact us we
were checking el cell phones we couldn't
even watch movies Wi-Fi on the computers
it was technology-free what did that
afforded followed a lot of space a lot
of connection a lot of touching and
feeling and being with each other
this is an outgrowth experience and for
the feminine this is so important
because this is when we digest life we
die just life in the silences and in the
out breath and tip number six in
self-care be okay with what you are
feeling what do I mean by this
whether you are feeling sad or grief or
unhappy or angry or resentful be okay
with what you are feeling we tend to
have a feeling and then immediately
judge the feeling as good or bad
now if you want to actually resolve the
underlying things to a lot of the
feelings you're having in your life
the first step is being okay with what
you are feeling in any moment
yes you may need to resolve the
underlying factors but if we don't get
to being okay with what we're feeling
you're never gonna start to allow your
body to express the feelings through it
and the body and embodiment is such an
important thing for women and the
feminine if you block emotions and
feelings that come up inside of you well
there are a lot of pretty dire
ramifications some of the ramifications
are that it causes illness it makes you
sick either in a very small extent or
over time it can create chronic illness
hey this is say you end up being more
and more outside of yourself you're not
actually loving yourself and taking care
of yourself when you block emotions and
block feelings this is an important
thing for you to start to get into a
relationship to is your feelings so I
hope you enjoyed the six steps they
weren't the normal kind of just go out
there in pleasure yourself kind of tips
a lot of them more in our in my world we
deal with the inner feminine a lot more
than the outer feminine so i hope you
enjoy them implement them one of the
time is quite a lot of information here
I love your comments below if
you can pop some comments below tell me
your experience of the self-care put
some other self-care ideas for people as
we are building here community here too in
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and shine this week when you go out
there and shine you give others
permission to do the same.  Bye for now!
