

### Love In Action:

### Sincerity Or Hypocrisy

### By

### Jesus (AJ Miller)

Published by

Divine Truth, Australia at Smashwords

http://www.divinetruth.com/

Copyright 2014 Divine Truth

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

Thank you for downloading this ebook. You are welcome to share it with your friends. This book may be reproduced, copied and distributed. If you enjoyed this book, please return to Smashwords.com to discover other works by this author. Thank you for your support.

### This ebook is a transcript of a seminar delivered on 17th July 2012 in London, England by Jesus (also known as AJ Miller) from the Love in Action series, focusing on sincerity or hypocrisy. In this talk he describes how we can only grow spiritually if we are sincere, we are hypocritical if we live in our façade, and how to sincerely address unloving issues in society and ourselves.

### Reminder From Jesus & Mary

### Jesus and Mary would like to remind you that any document produced by Divine Truth containing any information from Jesus, Mary or any other person includes only a portion of God's Truth that they have personally discovered.

### It does not and cannot contain the entire of God's Truth since God's Truth is infinite and humankind will forever continue to discover more of God's Truth as we progress in receiving more of God's Love.

### Please remember that due to these limitations information contained within this document may need to be revised in the future.

### Many other ebooks have been published by Divine Truth, including ebooks translated into a variety of different languages.

### Please visit <http://www.Smashwords.com/profile/view/DivineTruth> or www.divinetruth.com for further information.

### Additional sessions on the subject in this book can be found on www.Smashwords.com/profile/view/DivineTruth

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Table of Contents

1. Introduction

2. Growing spiritually means to grow in love

2.1. When we are spiritual we grow in love in many different areas

2.2. Different approaches to growing in love - thinking, talking and action

2.3. Hypocrisy means to put on a façade on purpose

2.4. We need to embrace internal as well as external truth to change

3. Unloving issues in English society

3.1. Societal problems are the effects of deeper real causes

3.2. The true causes of unloving behaviour in society

3.2.1. Not taking personal responsibility

3.2.2. Fear of others' opinion of us

3.2.3. Fear of pain

3.2.4. Arrogance

3.2.5. Feeling disillusioned

4. Sincerely addressing causal unloving issues

4.1. Prioritising changing unloving behaviour - an illustration of changing diet

4.2. Taking personal responsibility for our creations in society

4.3. Taking responsibility for our emotions in a relationship

4.3.1. Unloving actions in ourselves increase the chance that others will be unloving to us

4.4. To become at-one with God requires complete sincerity

4.5. To become happy, to know ourselves and to know our partner requires sincerity

4.6. Being sincere reduces our fear of other's opinions

4.6.1. Spirits can create fear in us by projecting at us

4.6.2. The emotional causes of being afraid of others' opinions

5. Being sincere about spiritual growth

5.1. Hypocrisy in English society

5.2. Always tell the truth - an example of a relationship

5.2.1. If we are not automatically acting lovingly, we are still in facade

5.3. If our actions do not change it is a measure of insincerity

5.4. Only growing in love and truth constitutes spiritual growth

5.5. It is loving to treat others as we would like to be treated - an example of vaccinations

5.5.1. Being sincere and ethical involves feeling fear and not justifying fear

5.6. Being honest about how much we want to change

6. With sincerity; change, pain and joy are certain

6.1. If we are sincere we take action

6.2. An example of a couple in a relationship being honest about their fears

6.2.1. We choose our façade to avoid the truth

6.2.2. If we are sincere we will address the real issues

6.2.3. Addressing the real issues will lead us to grief and then to joy

6.2.4. To resolve issues in a relationship sincere communication as well as humility is required

6.2.5. Addressing causal pain automatically creates forgiveness and joy

7. Closing Words

1. Introduction

What I would like to talk about today with you is about God's Love in Action. So Love In Action is a part of a series that I've been starting to talk to people about and in this particular discussion I'd like us to centre around the issues of sincerity or hypocrisy, which are two very different states.

And the main reason why I wanted to talk about this with you is because what I'm finding, particularly in the Western World, is that there is often an appearance of outward sincerity but when you start discussing detailed information with people individually, they go from outward sincerity into hypocrisy, quite rapidly. And for you to progress towards God, you must at some point come to terms with the fact that God doesn't accept hypocrisy.

Now in the first century I used to say to people things like 'Woe to the scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, because they strained out the gnat and gulped down the camel". Have you ever heard of that saying? some of you who are religious might have heard it. They make big mountains out of little things, 'mountains out of mole hills' as the saying goes, and at the same time, they allowed the really big things to go un-noticed.

2. Growing spiritually means to grow in love

If you look at the words 'love in action' and we look at the word spirituality. Now what does the word spirituality mean to you? When I asked that question the last time we were here at Forest Row, spirituality meant a lot of things for people but not many people actually talked about love with regard to what it meant to them. To me true spirituality is all about love. It's all about the development of the individual in love and it's all about growing in the capacity to love.

Now there are two forms of love, as we've talked about before. One is God's Love entering you and obviously if you grow in your capacity to receive God's Love, then your soul has the ability to change and transform and once you've changed and transformed, you now have grown in your capacity to express your love to others automatically. So, true spirituality is all about growing in love. Unless love is growing, then really it means nothing. Unless love is growing we are not being spiritual at all, that's the underlying thing to keep in mind.

What I notice people doing though is they have this facade of love where they use the words of love. But when you feel what they are feeling or what they are expressing towards you in terms of their feelings, often it just feels like quite nasty and there are terrible emotions coming out of them. Now if you think historically, many religions do this. So while they use the words of love, they then express at the same time judgement towards people who are not of their religious faith, for example. In that moment they are being unloving, and therefore it doesn't matter what words they're using, the fact is that they are being completely unloving in that particular space. [00:05:30.01]

This brings me to the point of what is real spirituality. Real spirituality is about growth in love, actually growing in your ability to express love to others, and also your ability to love yourself, and your ability to love the environment. So it means growing in the ability to love in all of these different areas.

2.1. When we are spiritual we grow in love in many different areas

Let's look at the areas where you'd be growing in your ability to love if you were truly spiritual. Firstly the love that you have with God would increase. So that would go up as you grew in your capacity to love. Your capacity to love yourself would increase, so you have now a stronger desire as well as a stronger acknowledgement of yourself and your desires and your passions and your true sincere motivations. And your ability to love your partner would increase. In other words you would have less arguments and fights, but not because of agreeing with each other, but rather because you now know how to handle the disagreements from a space of love. [00:06:56.09]

You would have more love for your children if you had any. So there would be less instant anger or rage with your children. A lot of times young children do seemingly very unpredictable things and we often wonder where that came from and oftentimes in that moment we get triggered into rage and anger. That would happen less as time progressed, if we were growing in love. We would have also more love for others in the way that we express our love. So we would care about other people's feelings and we would care about their life and we'd care about what they're doing with their life. And we'd want to assist any person who wants some help, but not from a condition of judgement but rather from a condition of being willing to provide the help, even if at times providing that help meant that we had to forgo something we wanted. We would still probably do that.

And then there's the environment generally, which we would also grow in love for because we understand that that's all part of God's creation. So we would automatically start loving the environment more as well, if we were truly growing in love.

Now when we look at that list, you see there's quite a lot of growth in different areas of love that we potentially can grow in. Now if our love was truly in action, other people around us would notice changes in every one of these areas of our life. So they'd notice that we're treating the environment differently. They'd notice that we're treating them differently. They'd notice that we treat our children differently. They'd notice that we're treating our partner differently. They'd notice that we have a bit more honouring of ourself in most of our relationships. And they'd also notice a growing interaction with God where you're starting to feel very comfortable with that interaction with God and its growth.

Now what I notice a lot of people doing who discover the Divine Love Path, or discover Divine Truth, is they want to believe that they're growing in every one of these areas because we all want to believe that when we do something that it's actually working. But when you look at what's really going on from a day to day perspective in their life, there is actually very little growth. I've known many people who have come along to seminars that I've been presenting in Australia for four years and during that four year period I've not seen them grow in love at all over that entire time. But they say they want to grow in love and they're obviously coming to the seminars for some reason; there's obviously some underlying reason why they're coming. They're saying that they want to be more loving towards their partner and they want to receive God's Love and so forth, but their day to day life is not demonstrating more love. [00:10:11.02]

Now we also have others that we know that we meet them and then after a few months they're making huge changes in their lives, like one after another after another. Everyone around them is noticing that they're becoming more and more expressive of that love towards them and their own environment is noticing. And sometimes their children comment. I had one child come up and say, "I'm so glad my mummy met you because she's not angry with me anymore." Her own child noticed a big change in the mother, just by coming to terms with the truth.

And this is what I wanted to raise with you because what I find here in England generally is that there is a huge amount of facade with regard to spirituality. In other words, there are so many people here who like to have the New Age type of instant gratification of some kind of pursuit. This often then encourages a lot of very dark spirits to enter into bartering or bribery type situations with the person, rather than actually making changes in the way they personally love in these areas. And if you think of the last groups we had for those of you who attended the groups in Forest Row, can you remember some of the very, very unloving behaviour that went on in the different groups from people who believed they were loving? [00:11:53.07]

And this is the issue that we face, and we need to at some point come to terms with what we're actually doing personally. So we need to ask ourselves the question, "Am I sincere about growing in love or am I just being a hypocrite? Do I want to talk about it and do I want to think about it, but actually not change my life about it?" So I wanted to raise this with you and just get your comments about it a bit as well.

2.2. Different approaches to growing in love - thinking, talking and action

So let's look at the three things that we often do with regard to love. Firstly, we think about it. This means that during the course of a day occasionally things come up and then you think about it. You might be thinking about a person or a different situation that happens right in front of you that you might see a mother yelling at her child or something like that and this brings up some feelings inside of you and then you go into this feeling of, " I can see that that person there seems to be unloving to that child." And so there's a thought of love and then often along with the thought we often have a little bit of judgement. This kind of feeling we have like, "Oh I'm glad I'm not like that with my child," or something like that.

So we often have thoughts about love. We also have thoughts during the day about how we can become more loving generally; most people at some point during the day will consider that thought. Secondly, we also speak a lot of words, (too many some times I think) where we talk about love, where we talk about the principles of love or we talk about the principles of truth. Or we talk about what we believe we're interested in.

But to me, thinking and talking mean nothing actually. Because there's only one proof of evidence that we are actually growing in love, and do you know what that is? Actions.

Without actions what's going to happen? We end up talking and thinking about things. But without actions proving that change is occurring, change isn't really occurring. We're just staying the same, staying the same, staying the same, staying the same. And then we've got to ask ourselves if actions are not happening then which one of these two states, sincerity or hypocrisy, are we really in, with regard to our desire to grow in love? It's obvious we're being hypocritical. [00:15:11.12]

So we're talking about love, saying we're thinking about love, spending all of our time investigating the so called truth or Divine Truth even you might be investigating, but at the end of the day, if actions are not changing and by the way if the actions are not changing automatically: if I was growing in love, then my actions would become more loving automatically.

I wouldn't be having this strong feeling of, "I have to try and try and try to become more loving each day," because as you release the unhealed emotions that cause you to be unloving, what would happen? Automatically you'd become more loving and you wouldn't have to try so hard. So if I have to try hard to speak lovingly and in particular act lovingly, then can you see that it probably means that I'm not being as sincere as I would like. [00:16:18.04]

2.3. Hypocrisy means to put on a façade on purpose

Do any of you know where the word hypocrisy comes from? No? It was used originally for the Greek stage actors. Initially all of them were men, so there were no women stage actors. Even here in England that happened, as many of you probably know, right the way through up until what was it the 17th or 18th century, where there were no women actors, they were all men dressed up as women. And so the underlying Greek term means to act or put on a facade.

To put on a facade on purpose is the original intention. If you think about it, during our day to day life many of us do that, where we put on a facade on purpose. How many times do you wake up in the morning and you're feeling quite unsettled or quite bad, but you realise you've got a big day ahead of you? So if you're a woman you decide to maybe put on some makeup, have a coffee or your favourite tea perhaps. How many of you drink coffee? How many of you drink tea? More teas than coffees, which is what you'd probably expect from Britain! [00:18:05.06]

And then so that warms you up, gets you out of a bit of your fear and then you're sort of getting yourself ready for the day and oftentimes we're actually changing who we are in order to meet the rest of the day. We're changing what we feel in order to meet the rest of the day. So really what we're doing is we're doing what the Beatles said in the Eleanor Rigby song, "We're keeping our face in a jar by the door." We put it on when we go outside and then when we come back inside, we take of the face and for many of us we're so used to the face that we don't take it off. We actually started this face with our family and even our friends also get a bit of this facade as well.

And that's what it means to be a hypocrite; to act differently than you actually feel. Now can you see the problem with that from God's perspective? If God wants a relationship with the real you and you want to act differently than the real you, then who can God have a relationship with? He's still having a relationship with the real you, but it's not going to be a very good relationship because you're in complete denial of the real you, wanting to be somebody else. This is the issue we face with regard to sincerity.

There's also the issue with regard to sincerity that I feel is very important and that's the idea that we need to stop believing that we can act lovingly without feeling love and to be honest, from God's perspective, that's not possible either. It's not possible to act lovingly while you're not feeling it because God sees every facade. God sees everything as it is and we also need to become very, very comfortable with seeing everything as it is. We need to become comfortable with ourselves being our true self. [00:20:24.11]

2.4. We need to embrace internal as well as external truth to change

And so what I see happening for many here in Europe in particular, is that many, because of these issues, are happy to embrace a certain amount of Divine Truth but they're not changing their lives. They're happy to listen but their actual lives are not changing. Can I point out the main reason why this is the case? You see when we first hear truth it's emotionally external to us. In other words when we first hear the Divine Truth, the truth about the universe; we feel this really big feeling of, "At last! I'm finding out things that I've always searched for all my life, things I've always wanted to discover all of my life." And there's this beautiful feeling of at last having this feeling of this longing for truth inside of you being satisfied, of knowing how things around you work and understanding your place in those things as they operate.

And that is what I would classify as external truth. Now external truth is always very easy to absorb, it's always very easy to enjoy listening to. So if I spoke about the spirit world to you, many of you would find the discussion very enjoyable because there are all sorts of things about the spirit world that you might not know or understand. If we started even talking to some spirits right here in front of you, you might find the whole thing very absorbing. Many people find that is the case and the reason why we find it so absorbing is because there are very few emotional challenges to receive external truth in the sense that we don't have many blockages to receiving external truth, particularly when we have a heart that's seeking the truth. We have very little blockages as a result.

And so what happens is the external truth is very, very attractive to us. We want to listen to it. Can you remember back to when you first discovered the teachings that myself and Mary are sharing with you? It was like listening to it every day going, "Wow, this is amazing! This is amazing! That's amazing too!" You have all of these realisations and it's just so absorbing. There's this initial enthusiasm that comes over you during that first process, it's almost like falling in love with the truth. That's often what we're feeling. [00:23:24.00]

And that feeling is easy because there's not a lot of our personal emotional issues, or what I would classify as our addictions, being triggered or in other words confronted. So most of what we're receiving with external truth doesn't personally confront us at a hugely emotional level. Now some of it may if we have a background of a certain religion and then something was talked about that particular religion, that might be confronting, but generally when we're pretty open we can absorb a lot of external truth without being confronted too much.

And it's really fun during that time, yes? But then what happens is we realise this: that love is the actual thing that we need to start looking at, because we realise that love is true spirituality.

So after a while we get to the point where we've absorbed enough external truth to realise that we could pretty much give up all things in our life aside from developing in love and we'd be very happy. We start realising that love is the key to our happiness in fact. That without love, personal love with another person, love with God, love with our neighbour, love with the environment, without love, it's not going to be possible to be happy and we start to realise that.

So we start to realise that I, the individual who's been receiving all of this external truth, has to at some point to embrace love. We have to; if we're ever going to be happy we need to go down that track and we start realising that and then we start realising that to actually love, we've got to do a few things first. For example, we've got to learn the internal truth about ourselves and we actually have to be humble enough to do that, to look at ourselves honestly and this is where it gets very, very difficult.

This is where we start getting bogged down with our life, where we start wanting to give up. And if you think about that initial feeling you had when you discovered the external truth, how joyous you felt and how great it was to discover that external truth and then you compare that with how it feels when you're starting to have to discover the internal truth, can you see the difference between the two? For many of you, you've already gone through this, or are going through this experience, where you don't like what you see about yourself, you'd like to deny that you actually have that particular thing inside of you. You'd like to shut that down completely and not be humble to it at all. [00:26:29.13]

And so when we discovered external truths we had a very enjoyable process of discovering truth, but when we discover internal truths what do we have? a very confronting and oftentimes not very enjoyable process, because we have so much resistance to it. But it's the internal truths that will actually change how we love. So at some point we're going to have to come face to face with the fact that without changing the internal truths we are never going to actually become more loving. Therefore we're never going to become more spiritual, because spirituality is all about love.

The truth can open the doorway to love, but we have to actually walk through it. We have to put love in action to actually make changes. This is where most of us become very resistive because there are so many things we have to change but we're very unwilling to change.

3. Unloving issues in English society

What I'd like to go through with you is, if you could help me look at the things that are here in England that surround you, that you can see have to change if we're going to become more loving, in terms of the external environment. So what I'd like to do now is take you through a process where you look at the external environment and we list the things that have to change to become more loving. Then we'll have to have a bit of self reflection at the end of that.

Most of you have lived here for most of your life? Okay so you should be pretty well experienced with what happens here in England. So you should be able to help me fairly easily with what you observe in the environment that has to change if your environment is going to become more loving. [00:28:48.01]

Participant: Food production.

So food production has to change if...

Participant: And its effect on the environment.

Okay so in terms of how it's produced, is that what you're saying? Yep, so how food is produced. Yep. Good. Anything else?

Participant: What food we actually eat, so for me I'm kind of like vegan.

So food consumption?

Participant: Yeah.

Obviously the two are very related because they're not going to produce food that nobody eats. Anything else you can think of?

Participant: I was just thinking that the English are quite suppressed. I think that's why we have a lot of alcohol issues where people feel the need to get very, very drunk. Not me personally but we have a real drinking culture here. I think it's a lot of suppression.

So we could lump it all together and call it substance abuse. Yep. Good. There's a lot more than that. You're all feeling a bit blank at the moment, are you? Like under pressure, so you get a bit blank. [00:30:23.18]

Participant: Education, the way we educate.

The way we educate our children.

Participant: Yeah.

Or everyone in the...?

Participant: Well, that's the same for the whole world.

Good, yep. So it is the same for the whole world, yes.

Participant: And also this is sort of a question as well about the medical industry.

Yep.

Participant: When we vaccinate children is that...?

Is that loving? Good question. So let's raise the issues how the medical system works, the medical profession. So things have to change there in that environment. Yes, I agree. Anything else you can think of? [00:31:03.06]

Participant: We have a lot of hierarchy.

Okay so there's a lack of equality. So you have a few haves and a lot of have-nots. But also England is very unique where even some of the have-nots still think themselves superior than some of the haves, because of their history and their lineage. It's a very interesting thing in a lot of other countries that doesn't happen so much, particularly in Australia; that would never happen in Australia. [00:31:56.19]

Participant: The monetary system.

Okay, can we think of what's unloving about the monetary system?

Participant: Money itself.

Yeah, I can't agree that money is unloving. Money is a piece of paper and pieces of paper don't have love either way.

Participant: The major banks are unloving?

So put a big closer so...

Participant: The way the banks are run.

The way the banks are run? Okay, well the way the banks are run is just a reflection of the way society runs in a lot of ways. I notice in your environment at the moment there's a lot of blame going to the banks, but many of you personally have benefited from the bank's shonky deals. So at the end of the day you've got to start looking at that, but yes, monetary system is a big area lacking in love, I agree.

Participant: The area with money is about how much interest you charge instead of money being free, where you lend money and it comes back on an equal basis. When you actually then charge an interest, that is when you get greed or avarice or ownership with money.

Yeah I don't agree that that's the cause of greed or avarice or ownership with money but I certainly think that interest is an issue. The causes are very different than what we often believe though, but again can I point out that nothing is for free. Everything, all the resources on the planet have a cost associated with them, even an environmental cost if there is no other cost. So could we say if we were more specific about the problem, that the problem really is that we don't understand how to economically use resources? Isn't that the big problem? We over use some resources, underuse other resources. We have a terrible viewpoint towards the Earth about the provision of resources. We rape the Earth basically, for the use of its resources. [00:34:03.06]

And this current generation rapes everything it can get and then of course there's a lot less left for the next generation and then they come along and rape what's left that the other ones left behind. And then of course there's even less for the subsequent generation and so forth. And in the end like I was just commenting to Michael on the way here how it's lovely to see some big trees in this area because in most of Britain you've got big cleared lands where there are no trees. That has obviously happened over thousands of years where people have taken down, taken down, never regrown and so forth. So it's about our use of resources and raping resources. Okay, anything else you can think of?

Participant: I came from Brazil and in Brazil when I was a kid, when the television broke down we went and fixed it or whenever we had a radio and it broke down, we went and fixed it. When I came to Britain it was quite shocking that people just throw stuff in the bin.

Throw it away, yeah.

Participant: And as I noticed as the years progressed of me living here (I've been here since 2000) the same behaviour towards people. So the behaviour towards material things would be transferred to people. [00:35:38.16]

I agree completely. And it's a very important point you raised because it's interesting that all of these things you've so far raised are really even less important than some of the other issues that we've yet to raise. So one of them is how we throw people away. It's a major problem. The way we treat people in the society is a problem. Unloving treatment of people.

3.1. Societal problems are the effects of deeper real causes

Can I suggest for a start that many of these things that we've mentioned so far, while they are important they are actually just the effects of other, deeper problems that we need to start addressing.

And in fact if you look at what we do with these effects, many of us get angry about them. Have you noticed that sometimes you get angry about certain things? How many of you have been angry with your banks in the last two weeks, or felt a feeling of that? I know in Britain it's been a fairly big thing in the papers and so forth, but we often get angry about these kinds of things, but we're unwilling to look at why they happen and this is a part of our hypocrisy.

You see if we were sincere, we would know why these things happen. We would start seeing the unloving treatment of people as far more an indication of how we're developed with our sincerity. We often blame systems. If you look at each one of these things that you've raised, the majority of them are systems. Now systems all have people in them but the reality is while I can blame a system, I can say that I am not a part of that system. I can disassociate myself from the system while I'm blaming the system. [00:38:19.17]

But the reality is all of you live in Britain; you are a part of the system if you live here. So we can criticise the system but the reality is there's something inside of us that allows its creation and if we were sincere we'd already know what's inside of us that allowed its creation.

3.2. The true causes of unloving behaviour in society

Participant: Unloving treatment of self. That's a massive one.

Yes.

Participant: Because that leads to so many of those things.

It does, very much.

Participant: Animals and everything else there.

Yeah, animals or everything in the environment because we're prepared to treat everything in the environment unlovingly.

Now of course if we're prepared to do that, then these societal effects will result. And then you know what we finish up doing as a society generally? We complain about these things and yet none of us finish up complaining about the true causes in the sense of looking at ourselves and going, "What happens inside of me every single day, where I treat somebody unlovingly or I treat an animal unlovingly or I treat the environment unlovingly?" and make an effort to reduce those particular things inside of ourselves emotionally. [00:40:05.16]

3.2.1. Not taking personal responsibility

Participant: I was going to say that I'd love to see the things to do with responsibility and once we really feel we love responsibility, then some of these will naturally shift, like education, the medical system and substance abuse.

Yes.

Participant: Food consumption and production, all of that to do with responsibility and our connection with love and self love and love of others.

I agree. So the fact is we're looking at things where mankind isn't really taking responsibility. We create a system that we don't even think we're responsible for creating.

Participant: Yeah and we can externalise it and then blame it.

And then we can externalise it, exactly, as you say, and blame it. That's exactly right.

Participant: It's the same with politics. We love to blame politicians for everything but we've been the society that has brought them in or let it happen.

Yes.

Participant: But what I wanted to say was something else. It was to do with sort of responsibility and then television, about avoiding things and just gluing yourself to a box and just letting the hours go.

Yes, I see a big problem here and in all Western societies actually, is how much time we spend tuning out of real life. For example how much time in the course of a week the average child spends tuning out of real life. I think they did a study recently here and the average child spends five hours either in front of a video game of some kind or in front of the telly during the course of a single day. So that's a lot of tuning out of real life. Now if I'm tuning out of real life I'm going to be tuned out of a lot of things as well, aren't I? Yep, I agree. [00:41:51.20]

Participant: I can't watch TV, I find it really frustrating, I've never really been able to for more than an hour or something, and I just get irritable. But I've talked to friends and they just do it as an escape.

The willingness to use addictions as an escape. Big issue, yep.

3.2.2. Fear of others' opinion of us

Mary: Mine is to do with resistance to change. So personally and in the society and I notice here in Britain there's a lot of bureaucracy, which reflects that injury.

Yes.

Mary: So whenever a change is proposed then there's a huge system that everyone has to work through. And there's also a lot of social pressure for people to conform to norms of behaviour, of dress, of all kinds of things. [00:42:44.23]

Yes. Very much so!

Participant: I was going to talk about responsibility as well because I don't have a television at home, I haven't had one for years but I'm still either blaming others, being a victim keenly.

Yes, a keen victim! Yes. I like that statement! It's a good statement. Many of us are keen victims. Yeah?

Participant: Or saying to myself, "Everybody does that."

Exactly!

Participant: So justifying my own actions by everybody else's actions.

Yes so, "Everybody does the wrong thing so I may as well go ahead and do the wrong thing too." And we often then go down the track of going, "Well one person changing it is not going to change anything." We actually believe that. So we know we're doing the wrong thing, but we're going to ourselves, "Well everybody does it and if I change, that's not going to change everybody." And so then we stay doing it along with them as a justification. [00:43:47.19]

Participant: And it's always been that way.

Yes, "It's always been that way so it will always be that way," is the inference, isn't it? Yep.

Participant: I feel in England there's a loss of belief in God and if you tell people you believe in God they actually think that you're crazy.

Yep. So if we say the problem really is a fear of people's opinions?

Can you see how that plays out in your life a lot when you know you want to do the right thing, but other people's opinions cause you to go and do something that you actually regret later or many times you're even regretting while you're doing it. Fear of people's opinion and in fact fear generally is a very, very large emotion that causes a lot of unloving behaviour. Okay, anything else that you can come up with? [00:45:10.23]

3.2.3. Fear of pain

Participant: I think this has already been said but a real unwillingness to feel our pain, our negative emotions. We just want to escape from them.

So could we call that too a fear of painful emotions, or just pain, generally?

Participant: We don't like suffering and we'll do anything to avoid the suffering.

Yeah but the irony is we say that we don't like suffering, but the majority of us finish up constructing a life where we suffer. So that would tend to indicate the reality is that we do like suffering. Because if we didn't like suffering we'd stop creating lives where we're all suffering. This is where I feel a lot of people are not being completely sincere.

You see I feel a lot of times what we do, and when we learn the truth, we start telling ourselves things that are not even true for ourselves. In other words, we tell ourselves, "I don't like suffering." But how much suffering do you have in your life? Quite a lot for the average person, so that tells me they do like suffering, otherwise they'd change the reasons for their suffering. But because they're so afraid of other things, including people in their environment, they don't change. And so what we finish up doing is creating a lot of our own pain. We finish up creating a lot of our personal pain because we're unwilling to address the fear we have and then we say we don't like suffering. But the reality is we must like suffering to a degree, in the sense that we must like suffering more than we like people's bad opinion. So in other words we have a priority system inside of us as to what we like.

You think about it, let's say you dressed up in your dressing gown, and you went out down the street, dropped off the children and then the tyre in your car had a puncture. Most of you would feel pretty uncomfortable now; actually getting out and fixing it would be a bit embarrassing, wouldn't it? Why do we find those situations embarrassing? Because we're actually afraid of other people's opinion, we're more afraid of other people's opinion in many cases than we are afraid of anything else. That's the reality for many of us. [00:47:49.03]

So oftentimes we accept pain so that there's a higher thing that we can get satisfied. So in other words, for example, I accept pain when other people's opinion might tell me to do something different than I really want to do. So instead of doing what I really want to do, I do what they want me to do and accept the pain that goes along with doing that. I automatically do that because other people's opinion is more important to me than my own pain.

3.2.4. Arrogance

Participant: I feel as though we're quite arrogant as a nation because we had an empire once, we think we've got things that we can teach the world rather than the other way round. [00:48:39.16]

Yes, actually many of the people in Britain still believe you have an empire. This is a very important emotion to address as a society in Britain, this empire emotion.

The reason why it's a very important emotion to address is because it causes a nation to believe that it can go to other nations and rape the other nations. That they can pillage the other nations and actually take over the land and actually in the end destroy many of the peoples in those other nations, in order to satisfy their own lust for whatever it is that they're getting in return. What emotion causes that? So there has to be a large emotion of arrogance in there that causes that kind of attitude [00:49:37.11]

Participant: I don't know whether I'm right about this but in the spiritual world I see a lot of people thinking that they have to crucify themselves to do something spiritual. I know that the processing that we do can be uncomfortable and painful but I observe sometimes its almost adding drama to it; do you know what I'm saying?

I agree totally. I see people swinging between two extremes. One extreme is they feel they have to be totally self flagellating and in pain constantly to be holy and approved of by God. And on the other extreme I see people in the New Age movement thinking they have to have pleasure every single moment and if they're not in pleasure they're not spiritual every single moment. And I see this great big wide variety between those two extreme states, and it appears that religions in Britain either promote one state or the other. But there's nothing seemingly fairly reasonable in the middle, where we're going to have to work our way through emotions in order to become happy. And so on the New Age type of state, I see people desperately wanting to be over cloaked by spirits and have happy emotions all the time and that's why when we were at Forest Row, the majority of people who came were over cloaked because they want to be happy all the time and they give up their entire life in order to be happy all the time.

And then you have other audiences that are more religious in nature generally and they have a very self-sacrificing type of attitude coming out of them where they believe they have to sacrifice everything in order to be godly. I feel both extremes are major problems in terms of our development spiritually. And I feel both extremes are quite hypocritical actually too, because they both are creating facades. They create a facade on the religious stance or on the spiritual stance. [00:51:53.12]

3.2.5. Feeling disillusioned

Participant: I wanted to mention something that just came up. We're talking about loving and unloving but I think very few people actually have any idea about what love feels like.

I disagree with that completely actually. Can I explain why I do?

Participant: Sure.

This is something that I feel is a crux of this conversation. I feel sometimes what we can finish up doing is using the excuse that, "I don't know what love is," and that then gives me the excuse to not be loving to other people. Now if I can illustrate what love is, it's really quite simply. Whatever you would like somebody to do to you, do to them. That's what love is. So what would you like from other people? You think about when you were a child, did you like getting smacked? How many of you loved getting a smack when you were a child? How many of you are sadomasochists (Laughs) when you were children? Nobody, right! So how many of us then smacked our own child? And can you see if we felt about the child and we remembered our own childhood, we wouldn't have been able to smack our own child, would we? Because none of us loved it when we were a child, and in fact we were totally terrified of getting smacked when we were a child.

Many of you do not want to embrace this conversation now. Can you feel the resistance to even thinking about these things? We want to tell ourselves that we don't know how to be loving and yet on the receiving end we do know what loving behaviour is; we know when we're receiving it. On the receiving end you know when you're being treated lovingly a lot of the time. And you know on the receiving end when you have the feeling from somebody that they care about you.

So the reality is we do often know what love is but we're unprepared to give it. That indicates there's a lot of anger in us, in this unpreparedness to give love that we do know is available even from within us. I feel we've got to be very careful of saying to ourselves that we don't really understand love because I do believe the majority of us do understand love. In fact I've met many people who have even been abused in their life and they still do understand in some areas in particular when they're being loved and when they're not. [00:54:48.07]

Participant: I can explain why I said that?

Yep, fire away.

Participant: There is a chain of...

... of thought? Yep. Fire way with it!

Participant: It's because when I say that I go to see Jesus, people almost have an allergic reaction because they don't trust.

Exactly!

Participant: They don't trust anything anymore.

I agree.

Participant: They don't trust that they can actually be happy and that love can be transmitted. People just get by actually. They are in some where in between state and they don't think that something overwhelming can ever happen to them. That's why I talked about not knowing what love actually feels like.

Yes, see I would feel that's not about love. I feel that's about this emotion: disillusionment. Where we've all become disillusioned.

In other words we all, due to how we've been treated in our lives and very much how we've been treated in our childhood, we come to actually believe that while it's one thing to talk about love, love is not really possible in the world. So we start feeling it's impossible and this is where we become disillusioned. Many of us do know the feelings of love but we are completely disillusioned because many of us have very rarely felt the feelings of love in our life coming towards us from other people. So we then also feel quite disillusioned that we're capable of loving other people without them loving us.

We believe there's some kind of arrangement that we've got to have when it comes to love as well. So I feel this problem of disillusionment is a huge problem on the planet. This is what causes people to have no trust because they are disillusioned even with the concept of trust. When we look out in the world, because everybody is so focused on getting what they want out of a situation, we have all started to come to the point where the only thing we really trust is that the other person is going to take us for a ride. We believe that we're just going to get used. That's probably the only thing we do trust and we've become so disillusioned with the power of love, we don't even believe it has any power anymore.

Many of us don't see any power in love in our life, which is generally a result of what's happened to us. So I feel these are the really big causal issues and the other issues that we listed, problems with food consumption and so forth, are the effects of these issues. [00:57:54.20]

4. Sincerely addressing causal unloving issues

Now, if we are sincere as an individual discovering truth, can you see that we must begin to sincerely address these causal issues of lack of love in our day to day life? If we do that the effect issues will naturally begin to fade away, even in society. The more people who address these causal issues, the more the effect issues will fade away.

And unfortunately in the world what I notice is that many people don't believe that just one person changing these things can change a world, but the reality is that, that is the case. One person changing these things can change millions and millions of people. But it has to be a sincere change on the part of the one person for all of these things to change. And this is what I'd probably like to raise with each of you individually. Ask yourself this question, "Am I sincerely addressing these causal issues? Am I really wanting to address these things? Am I sincerely actually doing it, or am I just trying to make out to myself that I'm doing it, so that I feel better?"

Do you see what I'm saying? You see one of the big problems we have on the planet today is we do a lot of things just to feel better, but a lot of the things we do have no major bearing on any real change. And I see this happening a lot, and here's something that came up when we were in Gothenburg. [00:59:53.16]

4.1. Prioritising changing unloving behaviour - an illustration of changing diet

There are many people who we meet now who are into raw food, right? In other words they believe whole heartedly that having raw food is a loving thing to do for the environment, a loving thing to do for themselves and so they do very little cooking anymore. They mostly eat raw food and they don't eat any meat and they don't eat any animal products at all; they're very focused on doing this raw food. Now I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but I am saying this: many of those same people are completely willing to get angry with their partner. Now to me, which one's more important? One is having less anger towards animals and expressing less anger towards animals and expressing less unloving behaviour towards oneself and then the other is a preparedness to be angry with your partner, a person, one of God's children, actually.

So in terms of a priority system, which one do you think God would rather you changed first? Surely this one, the anger would be the one God would want you to change first? But you see that one's harder to change because you might have all sorts of reasons why you're angry with your partner, so it's much harder to change. But it's a lot easier just to say, "I'm going to eat differently," because that's an action you can take that has almost an instant result inside of yourself. So you can make an instant choice and go ahead and do it and very little emotionally has to change within you to do it. [01:01:58.23]

Mary: Just on that point, something else I encounter around people who have gone right into raw (and I'm just using the raw food as an example, there are many examples) relates to the empire arrogance emotion and the level of judgement towards someone else who might eat a potato chip. For me we've completely defeated the purpose of the loving action of the raw food if we are then in arrogance and also judgement of anyone else.

Yes arrogance and judgement are very unloving emotions coming out of us towards another person. It was interesting when we were in Sweden I bought a bag of potatoes and I cut them all up and I baked them in the oven. We spiced them with curry and things that myself and Mary like, and the comment made to us was, "Why are you cooking?" And the answer I gave was, "Because I like it!" (Laughs) And the question was, "Isn't it cancerous though?" I said, "What causes cancer?" And they had to think about it for a moment, "Ah, the emotions within a person." "Yes!" I said, "So I can eat this and not get cancer at all. I can enjoy the eating of this and not get cancer at all." But there was so much judgement and yet the very same people who were judging me for eating my potatoes were actually at the same time very angry with me about something that I'd said to them. And I'm going, "Which one's loving?" From God's perspective which ones do you think going to be worse? me cooking a potato, or a person being angry with one of God's children? Which one's going to have more harm to your soul condition? Which one's going to have more of a negative effect on the rest of your life? Surely the one where you're dumping the rage on other people? [01:04:19.09]

And this is where I find many people going, is they change the things that are easy to change because they believe that the things that are hard to change are too hard to change. But they still want to feel like they're progressing. And so when we change something that's easy to change, we can feel like, "Oh, I've made progress." When you say then to somebody, "Well what have you done in the last year in terms of your progress?" "Oh I've become vegan!" And I go, "Yeah, but, like, what have you done in your heart to change? What's the love in action?" And they say, "Well I'm more loving to animals." I go, "Yes, no worries. That's very good but how loving are you to your child? Do you still yell at your child?" "Ah, yes." "So in other words you're perfectly okay to be loving towards animals, but when it comes to your child you're not okay to be loving to your child?"

And this is what happens inside of us, we choose to do things that are easier to do because we are unwilling to change the things that are harder to change. Any anger involves our fear, and most of us are still completely unwilling to address our fears.

Instead we want them met with addictions. We want people to make our fears go away, we don't want to have to feel them and experience them. So what we finish up doing is we choose a spiritual path, or what we think is a spiritual path, and by the way becoming vegan is not a spiritual path! In the first century I said to the person, "From God's perspective it barely matters what goes into your body in comparison to what comes out of your mouth, in terms of what you say and do with others." Why did I say that? because most people get so focused on changing something that's quite minor and yet they are completely ignorant, or wish to remain ignorant, about changing the major thing.

4.2. Taking personal responsibility for our creations in society

Now if sincere change is going to happen, if we're going to put our love into action, it's going to have to happen by us changing some of these causal unloving issues, which are all major things. And now many of us go, "Well, no, the monetary system is a major thing." I can't agree. The monetary system is an effect of many of us not changing these causal issues collectively. It's an effect of our emotions of greed, our emotions of arrogance, our emotions that we believe that people should give to us every thing that we need rather than having to work for it. All of these things are all associated with the financial system. [01:07:40.15]

The whole reason why there is interest is because mankind has the idea that we should all receive something that we haven't earned. And that is what interest is, receiving something you haven't earned. And all of us have that feeling; many of us have that still inside of us right now as we sit here, where we have that feeling where we should get things that we haven't earned for ourselves that we haven't worked for.

Look at many of our younger children now. Have you had a look at the children around here in Britain? How many of them expect their mums and dads to give them every thing, none of which they've had to work for? None of which they've had to understand. None of which they've even had to say thank you for. It is a big problem, isn't it? And we're just making it bigger as parents. Why are we making it bigger as parents? because we're afraid of other people's opinions about whether we look like we're a good parent or not. So many of us do it for that one emotion.

Yet we're not really changing anything positively inside of us and in fact we're creating even further degradation. The very things that we criticise in the world are often the very things we are also creating in our own children; exactly the same things. So we criticise the world for its demand on resources, but you go home and look at your children's actions; how many of our children are in the process of giving to others all the time? Or how many of them want to take all the time? We're not willing to see what's going on. [01:09:30.02]

Participant: So are you saying that before we can make any changes at all, we need to have a sincere acceptance that our emotions drive everything that we're doing?

Yes, not only a sincere acceptance that our emotions drive everything we do, but also then a sincere desire to change those emotions so that everything we do changes. This is what I feel is lacking in the majority of people in the Western world. There is not a sincere desire to change the emotional reason why we do things, and that is a major problem. So can I reflect a little about your own life? Do you mind me doing that?

Participant: Probably but go on.

You do mind?

Participant: Let's have a go.

I won't do it then, if you do mind. I can't engage a process that somebody minds. Not publicly, anyway! Privately I can.

Participant: I'm just a bit afraid of what you might say.

Yes I know! (Laughs) Which is just one of these causal issues, being afraid of other people's opinions, isn't it? And it's the exact one that you raised as well, interestingly enough! (Laughs) Can you see there's a bit of hypocrisy in that? You raised an issue that you've noticed and yet when I engage a process with you to address one of your pains, you don't want to engage with it. That's all I'll say on the subject but this is where we need to bear it in mind; this is what's going on for the majority of us. [01:11:05.07]

When we stay with people we notice this a lot. Often when we stay with people, we're all willing to notice the world and what it's doing wrong, because we don't have to make a personal change when we do that. But if we notice the world and then come back to our own self and say, "Alright there's something emotionally inside of me that created that thing in the world," now we'd have to be far more personally responsible for what's really going on. Did you know that right now there are some emotions in you right now that create the rape of women? Right now, there are emotions in you that create that.

Did you know there are emotions in you, right now, that are creating 50 million children dying of starvation every year? Right now there are emotions in you that are creating that and yet when you read it in the newspaper you go, "Oh that's terrible." But are we sincere? You see if we were sincere we'd be going, "That's really terrible. What emotion in me helps create this?" Can you see if I was really sincere that's what I would do? [01:12:27.24]

4.3. Taking responsibility for our emotions in a relationship

Participant: It's a difficult process to do. It is difficult because for example today I had an issue talking to a friend of mine who's lied to me for six years. But finally knowing in my heart he's lied to me for six years, I really wanted to bollock him.

You really wanted to attack him, let's call it that, shall we?

Participant: But I sat there, and I talked and said, "Okay, what's the truth? What's the truth? What's the truth?" And I had to sit there and breathe through my pain, my anger and my physical desire to smack him.

(Laughs) Yeah.

Participant: I mean a physical desire.

No this is good. It's good always to be honest. (Laughs)

Participant: And I breathed and I breathed and I said, "Well, why did you lie?" He said, "Because one lie became three lies and then I had to keep those three lies going. And then I fell in love with you and I don't want you to leave and I know that if I told you that it was all a lie that you'd leave me." [01:13:28.16]

Right!

Participant: And I said, "I still love you. How do you feel now?" For me to say that with sincerity was really difficult.

Well I'm saying you didn't say it with sincerity (laughs) because you felt like smacking him, so it's not with sincerity.

Participant: Even though I had to work out in that tiny moment, I sat and I breathed and I listened and I breathed and I said, "I love you, we'll sort this out, okay?" [01:13:55.13]

But it wasn't said with sincerity. I'll actually address that with you later. Continue.

Participant: Okay, just want to say that process of sincerity is a difficult one to have.

Very difficult, I agree. Very difficult.

Participant: So it's not easy for a human being to monitor every single emotion to that extent, surely?

Well let's look at that comment as well. Firstly, if the human being had no emotional injuries, then there'd be no negative emotion to monitor, which would be a very simple life, wouldn't it? You wouldn't have to monitor anything. So that's the way God intended us to operate in the long run. So if we look at that as the perfection, the fact that we don't have to monitor any emotion and we will be loving all the time. That's the end result of becoming at-one with God, that's what we can do.

So that's our possibility, but let's go back one step from that. The reality is we have emotions inside of us that are out of harmony with love, I agree. Now, if the most intelligent supreme beings that God's ever created can't monitor their own emotions, can they really do anything, if you think about it? You see I feel the reason why we make statements like that is because we don't want to monitor our own emotions. We don't want to take full responsibility for what we really feel and then have to dig into the depths of it, for example that emotion you had of wanting to snot him. Not controlling the emotion, but digging into the depths of it. So after you finished the conversation with him, digging into the depths of it you would ask yourself, "Why did I feel so angry with him that I wanted to hit him?" [01:15:51.19]

If you then dealt with that real reason can you see that somebody could lie to you for twenty years, and then tell you the truth, and you'd have no trouble with it, if you'd fully dealt with the real reason. And in fact, to be frank, if they lied to you for 20 years, you probably know for the whole 20 years that they're lying to you.

Participant: I have known for the last six years that he's been lying to me and I've been waiting and gently prodding to talk truth.

Yes, but then you've got ask why didn't you just come out straight and say, "You're lying to me"?

Participant: Yeah, I didn't quite work like that; I did say that as well.

Yeah.

Participant: "Come on, just tell me the truth. You're lying." But his denial and fear just ran off then.

I agree but that doesn't change your behaviour. See what we do is this. We don't see our own participation in what's happened.

Participant: So are you going to tell me what to do now because I'm still processing this, and I haven't given him an answer yet? (Laughs)

No, I'm not going to tell you what to do!

Participant: Oh damn!

(Laughs) Because I can't do that, but I can tell you the principles involved.

4.3.1. Unloving actions in ourselves increase the chance that others will be unloving to us

For yourself, there has to be a reason why he was so afraid to tell you the truth. Can you feel your resistance to that statement? Do you know what it is? [01:17:28.11]

Participant: I think because I'm quite an opinionated woman.

Keep going!

Participant: I'm quite intimidating at times.

You can be and you do it on purpose at times.

Participant: True.

Why? Have you found out why yet?

Participant: Because I was abused mentally and physically and sexually, yes.

Yeah.

Participant: So now it is a kind of a, I suppose, a defence.

Right, against...?

Participant: To make sure I am secure and I've got foundations.

Okay, defence against getting hurt more.

Participant: Yes.

Is it? Yes. Good. So continue.

Participant: And to me it's all it's about clear statements, I'm very vocal and I'm very expressive with my feelings sometimes.

Well, the reality is that you're still very angry about what's happened to you and this is what's driving you to be vocal and expressive of what you call your feelings, at times. [01:18:30.24]

Participant: Okay.

So this anger is already coming out of you before a person meets you. As you're walking up to them they're feeling it. Do you understand? So at the soul level, they're already afraid.

Participant: Of me?

Yes.

Participant: Okay.

I'm not afraid, but the average person would be. (Laughs) That fact that I'm having this conversation means I'm not, but the average person would be, and particularly a male who understands that actually much of this abuse that you're angry about came from a male. And so therefore the male is already going, "Whoa, I'm already afraid." Now, can you see because he's already afraid he's going to choose to do some things out of harmony with love himself as a result of his own fear? That's his stuff. Your stuff is the fact that because there's the anger present there inside of you, yet to be released about these old events, the person feels that anger as a potential and then misinterprets it all as applying to them somehow. [01:19:46.12]

And so then they make a heap of choices and decisions based on that. If there was no anger coming out of you at all, do you think there might have been a higher likelihood of him saying the truth earlier on? See that's the question. Now my feelings are, yes, there is a higher likelihood. It doesn't mean that he would have, but I'm saying that there's a higher likelihood.

Participant: Yeah I'd say there was a potential, because he is an intelligent man.

Of course and he realises that sooner or later he's going to get caught out.

Participant: He's been caught out a few times, he just denies it. But today he actually had the courage to admit it.

So his problem is probably coming from his childhood, where he was taught how to lie by having the threat of punishment if he told the truth and somebody punishing him when he did tell the truth. This is probably what's caused his desire to lie, and he has to address that. We're speaking about your emotions that create something. This is what I'm saying - everything that happens in the world around you that you even notice happening is all about something inside of ourselves that is yet to heal. [01:21:01.16]

Participant: So I have to heal that last little bit of anger and then I could be more sincere.

You're not even being sincere in the statement.

Participant: Okay.

Because it is a mountain of anger that I can feel in you and you called it, "The last little bit." And yet I can feel there's a lot more than the last little bit. [01:21:30.18]

Participant: I'm not going to admit that right in front of everybody I've got masses of anger waiting to do!

So you're also afraid of people's opinion now!

Participant: No I just don't want to disturb them or upset them.

No, you're afraid of their opinion.

Participant: Okay.

Otherwise you would freely admit things. This is another thing that you then just fibbed about. Can you see how this web of insincerity is in us? We go from one insincerity, to the next one to the next one, in a matter of moments. And that's what I'm trying to get across to you. We finish up telling ourselves so many things just in order to avoid a series... she now hands the microphone somewhere else! (Laughs) And that's good! (Laughs) To feel like, "Oh I don't want him to say anymore now!" Can you feel that emotion? (Laughs) [01:22:30.24]

I'm not picking on you though; I'm just saying that this is where each of us needs to go. I'm very glad you engaged that process with me because what it illustrates is that the majority of us are doing this. It's not just you, the majority of us are doing this and what we do is we skip from one insincere moment to the next insincere moment just with a few words. And unfortunately most of us allow it to occur with each other automatically. We are so used to doing it, even though many of us know when the other person's being insincere and yet we accept it. We just go along with the whole thing.

And I'm saying if we had more love in action, we would not even accept the insincerity in ourselves, let alone the insincerity in another. We wouldn't go there. So when I go, "Yes, have I still got a little thing to heal or a big thing to heal about this particular issue" I would know whether it's little or big inside of myself. Because I wouldn't want to tell myself a fib because if I tell myself a lie, it's now going to make my job much more difficult to find the real thing that's there. So if I can illustrate that, babe, with your and my relationship. [01:23:56.18]

For a quite a number of times, I've mentioned to Mary that there is still anger in her towards men. Mary had released a lot of her anger, and over the last few months in particular she felt like there wasn't much anger left anymore towards men.

And what have you found, babe?

Mary: Lots of anger.

Lots of anger towards men. So what I'm illustrating is it's so easy to tell ourselves a series of things just because we want to believe it but that's not being sincere. The sincere take would be to find out exactly the truth of what's really going on. That would be sincere. To do anything else is actually hypocritical. Every time we minimise our action or we shift the blame or we say it's some other cause, and it can be even extreme causes (and when I say extreme causes we could have had terrible things happen in our childhood) but that is still not a good reason to stop putting love in action. And what we've got to do individually is stop this process of justifying our behaviour to ourselves and to others and begin being very sincere about everything that happens in our lives and all the things that are going on in our lives. [01:25:38.07]

Because if we don't change many of these really big things - the causal issues to the problems in society are all to do the effects of individuals doing these unloving behaviours.

So by individuals treating each other unlovingly in this way, this has created all of the monetary system, all of the medical system, all of the food production system. All of these systems that we have, which are all globally created now, have all come from these emotions that exist within us that are unloving. Unless we have a sincere desire to see our own part in it, nothing will change.

4.4. To become at-one with God requires complete sincerity

This is one thing that I wanted to state - it requires so much sincerity to become at-one with God. If your goal is to become at-one with God at some point in the future, there is a dire need to become very sincere in every single thing that you do. You're not going to be able to get there by being insincere with yourself or with another person. That'll prevent the whole thing from happening. [01:27:07.10]

Now for many of us, what happens is that when I say a statement like that, we then go, "It's all too hard then," and we give up. So over the last 6 or 7 years, I've probably talked to I don't know how many people? if you add up the DVDs and everything else that's been distributed, probably now millions of people have heard the Divine Truth. We've given away nearly 200,000 DVDs, which all get freely copied. There's all the YouTube material, and I think there's 250,000 views nearly on YouTube. So there are thousands of people who have heard the Divine Truth around the planet and yet very few people make the transition from hearing it into becoming more loving themselves personally.

So can everyone see just how important it is to start saying to ourselves, "Okay, we are so used to being hypocritical. In fact our entire environment is geared towards creating hypocrisy, creating facade, creating a person that we're not, and being a person that we're not." In fact people accept us being the person we're not more than they accept us being the person we are. Isn't that the truth? And so the whole world is geared towards hypocrisy. Now if we're ever going to become at-one with God, we're going to have to gear our entire world, our entire life, our entire way of living, our entire way of thinking, our entire way of speaking, and our entire way of acting, into harmony with sincerity. That's what we're going to have to do if we want to become at-one with God. [01:29:36.09]

4.5. To become happy, to know ourselves and to know our partner requires sincerity

And by the way, it's also if we want to be really happy that we're going to have to do that. If we're really ever going to know ourselves, we're going to have to do that. If we're ever really going to know our partner, he has to do that. How can you know someone if there's always a facade, some kind of image, or some kind of hypocrisy happening?

And what I would like to encourage you to do is instead of going down this track of trying to justify things that you do and sort of letting yourself get away with the hypocrisy, instead, start letting yourself desire sincerity all the time in your life, whatever you do. If you desire sincerity you will challenge the fear that you have that causes you to not be sincere, but you've got to desire it. But to be frank, if you don't desire it, you don't have any chance of ever knowing yourself and you don't have any chance of ever knowing a partner that you might attract into your life. And you don't have any chance of ever being at-one with God, unless you desire it.

So to me, like as soon as I list those three things and I go, "Wow, that's a lot of things that I'm missing in my life if I don't have sincerity." Then that causes me to be very self-reflective. So, very few people have to tell me anything about myself before that I haven't already noticed because of the sincerity. And if you develop that kind of sincerity where nobody needs to even tell you anything about yourself that you haven't already seen and aren't already working on, and then you'll find you'll progress very, very rapidly towards love and towards God. [01:31:39.04]

And then you could say once you do that, your love gets into action pretty rapidly because everyone around you can feel your sincerity. Everyone around you can feel the changes that are happening in you. Remember I said right at the beginning, you list all of those areas of your life in which you can grow in love you and anyone looking at any of those areas of your life would say, "Yeah, she's changed here. Yes, he's changed here. I can see he's changed there. This is a guy, who's sincere about his spiritual progress because he's more loving, or she is more loving in the way she interacts with me and this is proof that she's sincere or he's sincere."

4.6. Being sincere reduces our fear of other's opinions

Participant: I just wanted to raise the fear of people's opinion because I guess it's certainly really an issue for me.

It is.

Participant: And for a lot of people. Is it true to say that the more sincere and truthful you are about your own condition that the less fear you'll have about people's opinion?

Yes. Very much so, that's a very good observation. Does everyone understand what Jess just said? What she said was, "If I am very sincere with everyone around me about my condition, then I'll no longer be afraid of other's people's opinion. The only reason why I'm afraid of other people's opinion is because I want them to have a different opinion to my own viewpoint of what I am. That's the only reason why I'm afraid of their opinion; I'll want them to think that I'm a different person than I am." [01:33:19.13]

So if I'll be very sincere about my own condition with everything. So in other words I ask many of you ladies "Are you angry with men?" You'll go, "Yes I'm extremely angry with men." If that's how you feel, you say it. That's sincerity about your own condition. And in fact without sincerity of your own condition nothing can change, because you will overlook it and you'll dismiss it. And if I ask many of you men, "How many of you men pander to women all the time? So you give them what they want all the time so that you can be happy and get a bit of sex?" Many of you guys have to put your hand up with that one.

And so you then could say, "Okay there's an insincere thing going on there that we need to address." By putting your hand up and owning up to it, not because you're asked but voluntarily, it relieves you of so many things in your life. It relieves you of other people's opinion. You'll find that even though you're afraid of their opinion, they won't have a different opinion of you than what you've already told them because you've told them the truth about yourself. So it's impossible for them to have a different opinion to what you've already told them. [01:34:32.05]

Participant: Recently I had a really big event happen for me where a friend called up and did have a very, very bad opinion of me, and it came out in a really angry way. For the first time I was able to really see it as an opportunity to find out more about myself and to see what I was responsible for in that, which was a lot. So it was a really humbling experience and I really, for the first time, called on prayer to help me have the love, and I knew what love should do and I did it. I got the courage to do it and it was really beautiful what happened afterwards.

Exactly!

Participant: And I'm sitting with those emotions that I still have lots to work through that I created that situation.

Can I also point out that you also ended up with a feeling of pride in yourself that you could actually admit that, "Yes, this is a problem." And did you feel how when you interact with a person and you actually admit that is a problem when it is a problem, all of the power out of their rage oftentimes just disappears? [01:35:38.03]

Participant: Yeah it turned into tears and allowed them to process.

Exactly! That's the beauty of it.

4.6.1. Spirits can create fear in us by projecting at us

Participant: But I still have this unspecific fear. For example walking in here, I just immediately start shutting down and act differently to how I feel in my heart because I'm scared of some kind of judgement and I don't know what that is.

Well what happens now with all of the seminars that we give, is that there are a group of spirits who are around myself and Mary constantly now, and their entire goal is try to shut down anybody who comes to a seminar. Because if anybody comes to a seminar and they feel shut down there's a higher likelihood they won't go the seminar again. So what these spirits do is they look for individual holes in each of us; where we're afraid, where we have a fear of some kind. And then, through that opening they project their rage or an emotion that they have and that causes us to fear but we don't even know what we're afraid of. [01:36:43.19]

Many people who attend the seminars are now experiencing this where they walk into a seminar and all of a sudden they're afraid and they don't even know why they're afraid. Now if an event has occurred on Earth right in the moment that you're afraid and you're know you're afraid you can associate the event with the fear. But when we have no event on Earth that seems to have happened and yet we walk into a place and we're afraid, then that usually means that there's a whole group of spirits influencing our fear. They are now placing pressure on us in some way.

Now if the fear is of other people's opinion, they will cause us to be afraid of that when we walk in the room. But if our fear is of getting hurt, then we'll be afraid of that. If our fear is of speaking up, then they'll cause us to shut down. We've had whole seminars recently where before when I gave the seminar in that location everybody was open, talking, asking questions, and everybody was involved. The same people came along to another seminar and nobody said a word. I asked questions, and there was no response from the audience. And what was happening is that the audience was hooking into these spirits and what the spirits were projecting at them. So that's still indicates there's a hole in the person. [01:38:09.19]

Participant: And what you're feeling in that situation's related to the hole?

Exactly! Or the addiction you have with that particular kind of spirit. So for example, if you're afraid of women then women spirits might come to you and project anger at you and then all of a sudden you're afraid. So in that moment the hole is that you're afraid of women and you want to please them, and that's the opening they have. All they've got to do is be angry with you a bit and they know that you'll please them. So if they're angry with you every time you put your hand up, you'll feel their anger and then you'll go, "Oh I'm afraid all of a sudden." And then that causes you to not engage.

This is happening a lot now. The reason why it's happening a lot is because more and more spirits do not want any of this Divine Truth to be known on the Earth. So what they do is they spend a lot of their time coming around with myself and Mary. We feel them at every venue now, where there are just large groups of spirits trying to manipulate and control the audience so the audience does not engage, but it's all about the audience's fear in the end. So it's fear of something, and usually a lot of it is fear of people's opinions of them or other things.

4.6.2. The emotional causes of being afraid of others' opinions

Participant: And will that always relate to childhood experiences where you'd have an opinion given to you?

It will always relate to something in your childhood emotionally but it doesn't necessarily mean it's about that particular thing. So for many of us in our childhood, the way our parents learned to control us, because after a while smacking didn't work that well, they learned to embarrass us and that works very well. Most people are easily controlled by being embarrassed. So for example, a parent learns to tell a private thing that the child had, to their friends in public so the child feels embarrassed. It's a method to punish them. [01:40:14.23]

And so then there's a fear that develops in childhood to telling the truth in public. And so when the person grows up and comes along to a seminar like this, then there's an automatic fear present there of telling the truth in public about their own life. So when I then start engaging a question series, just like I did with you just earlier, there's this automatic fear that comes up about, "All my faults are being exposed in public. I'm going to be humiliated. I'm going to be embarrassed. People are going to think I'm a bad person." And all of those things are all from childhood experiences; otherwise we wouldn't be afraid of them. So again it's a matter of being sincere about what's really going on.

5. Being sincere about spiritual growth

Let's look at this word sincerity. The way God views sincerity is very fine. In other words, right down to the tightest description you could think of with regard to sincerity, is how God sees sincerity. God wants us to be sincere in every aspect of our being, in every aspect of our life, to ourselves, to others, and to God. That's what God wants with regard to our sincerity.

When we're like that, then we will actually finish up portraying ourselves to the world exactly as we are. All of our faults will be present, all of our truths will be present, everything will be present exactly as we are and if we're truly sincere we won't justify what we are that's out of harmony with love. We would always look at it and go, "I want to change that." And we'll have a sincere desire to change it even. We'll want to change that particular thing that's wrong. [01:42:19.04]

When we're not sincere, and rather when we're hypocritical, what we do instead is we always finish up justifying, shifting the blame, manoeuvring around it, trying to portray ourselves to be something that we're not and we're always trying to slip out of it. We're a bit slimy.

Have you ever tried to pick up a worm without hurting it? That's what we're often like emotionally. We're constantly engaged in this process of trying to avoid and slip out of things. If we truly loved ourselves we would never do that and if we truly loved others we would never do it either. And this is where we have to become very, very sincere if we really want to progress.

Now the reason why I've raised this issue here is because I feel in the society here a very strong resistance to sincerity. For that reason I feel Divine Truth in England will not grow until some of you choose to be very sincere, because without there being an example then nothing can grow. What I feel instead from many is a deep fear about being sincere. Afraid of even coming along to a session just in case you might get exposed, is one of those issues. And it's a real strong fear about being sincere in every aspect of your life.

If you embrace sincerity in every aspect of your life, people around you will automatically feel the difference from you and they will automatically want to know why. This is a great opportunity to share the truth with them that you have enjoyed through that process. But if you keep avoiding sincerity then they'll look at you and go, "Yeah, they go along and watch that Jesus fellow stuff but look at them; they're just as bad as they always have been." And if you were in their shoes would you go for that "Jesus fellow stuff"? Would you want to know more about the Divine Truth, if that happened? If you saw a person who's going along being insincere and untruthful all the time what would you do? Wouldn't you say exactly the same as what most people say and that is, "This doesn't change anybody's life positively." That's what you would do, isn't it? [01:45:22.09]

5.1. Hypocrisy in English society

Participant: It kind of reminds me of a program here in Britain, 'Keeping up appearances".

Yes I've seen it actually. It's very funny.

Participant: It also reminded me of "Through the Mists" by Robert James Lees where Aphraar sees the young girl in a house (it's the book group if nobody knows what we're talking about) and then that girl talks about her past and what has happened to her.

And how jealous she was and what she did in her rage.

Participant: Yes and she had everything. She was of a wealthy family and she had everything given to her but how she pursued her anger and her angry emotions. But I think the emotions are quite similar because she obviously felt that she had the right to have those things and I think sometimes here in the UK people feel that they have the right to have things. And if they don't have, if they can't afford it, they will still keep up the appearances of still going down the pub and saying that everything is fine. In Brazil there is a saying when you're going to do a job, which is only for facade, you don't fix the thing really, you say, "For English to see".

(AJ Laughs) It's very interesting.

Participant: You call a boiler to be fixed and then he just makes it up that he's fixed it and it's just...

... Just so the English can see that I've fixed it.

Participant: Yeah because it looks fixed, but it's not really.

It's very interesting you raised that. The reason why I looked at Mike (who's behind the camera) is because we were talking about this very thing in the car on the way here. How there is this deep expectation in English society that everyone gets exactly what they want no matter what their price range is. So one thing I've noticed a lot the last time we were here is that very poor people were driving around with BMWs. In Australia it's very rare to see a BMW because a person who has a BMW probably is quite wealthy. Yet here you see very poor people driving around BMWs, Mercedes and all those kind of cars and you can see straight away that there's this desire for the facade. They want that vehicle rather than a vehicle that will just do the job. They want to have some kind of feeling that they deserve that vehicle and there are many other emotions that drive it as well. [01:48:06.12]

Participant: The stiff upper lip is a big thing that fits in with that and "Keeping up appearances."

Isn't it interesting how humour in television is often taking off things that are prevalent in the society in which the humour is developed? You see that all time.

5.2. Always tell the truth - an example of a relationship

Participant: I've been trying to be more sincere and authentic for about the last year and getting there in some things and I can see other things I need to do. What I get a bit unsure about is also about being in truth with someone. So I've had a really interesting journey with my soulmate since I met him and things were very difficult. Something happened recently where I felt very hurt. Where do you find the line between being honest about your anger and frustrations while trying to remain loving? I mean obviously I take ownership of the fact that my anger is related to my anger at men and that goes back to my father. But how do you relate the truth but in a productive way? So you don't pretend you're not feeling something... (AJ writes on the whiteboard always tell the truth) Always tell the truth. [01:49:49.20]

Always! So if you're angry with him, you say, "Look I'm very angry with you."

Participant: Okay.

"And do you want to know the reason why I'm angry with you?" And then you can work your way through that and talk about why you're angry. If you're truly connected and sincere about the emotion you may finish up connecting to the sadness that's driving your anger while you're even talking about it. But if you don't tell the truth at all and if you say, "I'm not allowed to be angry so I'll just try to cover over that anger and I'll try to act like I'm not angry," now what's happening? You're not telling the truth so you're already in a facade yourself, which is an additional problem. And then on top of that you're not connected with the emotion because you're trying to detune from the emotion. You're also not saying the truth to the other person. Now I'm not suggesting you go to them and scream, "I'm angry with you!" where you want to hit them and punch them. I'm not saying that. I'm saying that you need at least say you're very angry and at least connect with the reason why you're very angry.

Now in some cases why you're very angry won't be fair to him at all. In that he might have done nothing to deserve this anger and you've just interpreted it with anger. But at least voice, "I'm very angry right now." Or you can even say, "I'm very angry right now and I don't even know why!" That is more being yourself than trying to cover over the fact that you're angry. [01:51:24.03]

Participant: I'm getting better at expressing anger, and as you probably picked up I have a fear of that. I had it suppressed a lot as a child but I think I'm getting better at doing that. There's other layers to it as well for me, but I'm aware of that. So always tell the truth, okay.

Always! Every single moment! Always!

Participant: I have concern about hurting people in that space.

Yeah, most people do. But if you always tell the truth, you actually are raising the potential to never hurt another person, because a lot of the times we get hurt by people not telling the truth. Isn't that the case? [01:52:04.07]

Participant: You're right actually, yeah. Which is what's happened with me and him.

Exactly! So him not telling the truth is what caused some of your hurt and can you see that if you just don't tell the truth back, you're potentially causing some of his hurt? So tell the real truth about what you feel.

You see we have big issues with facade in relationships. We're not prepared to say exactly the thing that we feel from the person. So if you feel that you're not being valued at all through what happened with regard to the truth, say, "Look the reality is I feel that I'm not being valued at all." Say exactly what you feel. The beauty of that is the other person doesn't have to go around guessing what you feel. They know exactly what you feel. In addition you're not trying to guess what you feel because you've gotten rid of the layers where you're trying to maintain a facade of something you're not.

And then you've both got the opportunity to address the actual issue. If the actual issue is one of you has lied to the other, then you've both got the opportunity now to address the actual issue. One person from the hurt they felt, the other person from the reason why they did it. You've both got the opportunity to address it. Not if you fly off the handle at each other obviously, but you've got the opportunity to address it if you're truthful about what's going on. [01:53:36.11]

Participant: He shuts down a lot.

So tell him: "You shut down all the time."

Participant: Yeah, well I do. You've just hit the thing underneath the anger about being valued.

If I lived with a person who was shut down all the time I'd say, "Look, you're shut down all the time and who am I living with? I want to live with a person who's themselves. I want you to be yourself and if there's any reason inside of me why you're afraid of being yourself can you tell me what it is? because I want you to be yourself; stop shutting yourself down. If you're going to keep shutting yourself down and there's nothing inside of me that causes you to do it, then we've got to consider why we're in a relationship. Because relationship is a back and forth thing where we actually relate and that means both of us not shutting ourselves down but both of us opening ourselves up. Now if you want to do that and I want to do that, then we'll have a relationship, but if you don't want to do that then we've go to look at whether we have a relationship."

And the reality is I feel that if more of us were sincere we'd look at what we'll call relationship breakers and we'd find a hundred of them in a course of a day. [01:54:45.15]

Participant: We are apart at the moment because of those very reasons that I'm ready to open to and he's not.

Yep. If we were truly honest and truthful in our relationships, in the course of a day we'd have hundreds of relationship breaker issues that come up and we'd actually sincerely address them rather than running away from them. If we were both sincere about the relationship and sincere about loving each other, that's what we would do. It's when we're both not sincere, or one of us is not sincere, now we have a problem and we need to even address that. If the other person notices we're not being sincere, and then say, "Look, I don't feel you're being sincere." Be honest. Honesty is always going to crack facade, it's always cracks hypocrisy. That's a beautiful part of honesty; it's a deep important part of sincerity to be honest. [01:55:39.06]

Participant: Yeah I don't want my facade anymore so I'm in the process of cracking mine.

5.2.1. If we are not automatically acting lovingly, we are still in facade

Can I point out though, often we say that, but the reality is when it comes to translating our love into action, that's where the test really is.

You see if we can't act in a loving manner, automatically, then that's telling me that I still have some facade somewhere. So if it's not automatic for me to tell the truth, there's still a facade. If it's not automatic for me to say exactly what I'm feeling at every single moment in my relationship with my partner, then I still have a facade with my partner. If it's not automatic for me to do it with you then I still have a facade with general acquaintances. If it's not automatically happening with my friends, then I have a facade when it comes to maintaining my friendships. And if I can break through my facade I'll find every emotional reason in me that is out of harmony with love and heal it. Then I've got an opportunity to heal it.

Participant: It's interesting as well because I've got a friend who listens to you a lot and she has said to me, "Don't just speak to him, wait 'til you've processed your own stuff first before you speak," so I've held back.

Why would you do that?

Participant: Maybe there was a misinterpretation.

To me that is very poor advice. The reality is we want to engage situations. Even if there's a risk in engaging the situation we still want to engage it, because that's the only way we're going to grow and learn.

Participant: So I need to trust myself more.

Yes. And the advice your friend gave in that instance is not very good advice and if she's following her own advice it's not very good for her. Because in the end we want to be ourselves, we want to learn how to be ourselves. That means learning to have your personality shine. Learning to just be exactly who you are without any holes barred. That means you are actually putting yourself on the line emotionally. A person who's sincere does that every single moment of their day. They put themselves on the line every single moment of their day. [01:58:12.17]

Participant: And one person doing that has a big effect on the world, yes?

A huge effect! Well you think about what's attracted you to the Divine Truth, is it just me spouting Divine Truth? Isn't it also my sincerity when I deal with you and my sincerity when I deal with other people in the audience?

Participant: Yes, absolutely.

So that has a big effect, doesn't it? Many people who first hear the Divine Truth coming from a guy who's claiming to be Jesus would never listen to it unless there was at least some level of sincerity. And it's exactly the same with your self with telling the truth. Living your life and telling the truth. It's the sincerity that you have that will just draw people to you in your life. If there's no sincerity then it will repel people. And in the end you end up with a society very similar to the society you have here in England, which is very insular and people are not very connected to each other. Even next door neighbours don't really know each other, and the reason why is because we're not being our sincere true selves with each other and so nobody really knows who anybody is anymore. [01:59:21.11]

And you think of the average relationship. You can live with somebody for 10 years in some Western societies and still not really know who they are or what they do. It constantly amazes me that that's the way it is.

5.3. If our actions do not change it is a measure of insincerity

Can I point out that if actions are not changing in our life, then that is a measure of our insincerity. So in other words, our life should be changing at any single moment. If we measure our life this week compared to last week, there should have been some change if we're sincere. If there's no change in the last three months or six months, then we're not being sincere about truth and we're not being sincere about desiring to love more. [02:00:24.12]

5.4. Only growing in love and truth constitutes spiritual growth

What I see a lot of people doing is this. Let's say this is a person (AJ draws on the whiteboard) and the vertical scale is the growth in love they can make, and also the growth in truth that they can make. What I see many people doing with their lives is they are shifting horizontally. In other words, they are just embracing another idea, another concept, another way of doing things. They're embracing all these different things and it makes them feel like they're progressing, but the reality is in terms of true progress, and the only true progress is our ability to grow in truth and love, in terms of true progress, they haven't shifted from this place.

And I see many people going from one spiritual concept to another spiritual concept to another spiritual concept to another spiritual concept, thinking they're progressing. But the reality is if you analyse them from a condition of love, they've not changed at all in that entire time. And that is the problem with a lot of our ways of doing things with regard to spiritual progress; we believe that if we've changed that we've actually progressed. The reality is we've only progressed when we've increased with the amount of love and truth that we express. [02:01:54.21]

Many people who hear Divine Truth think they are growing in love and truth (vertically) but instead are just learning new concepts (horizontally)

And this is where we've got to be very careful with ourselves. We often feel that just because things are changing, it means that we're doing well. We hold our chest out and say, "I'm going good. I've got it down pat. I know the truth." And this is what I find with many people who discover Divine Truth. They discover the Divine Truth at a certain point in their life but they have complete unwillingness, many of them, to give up their addictions. And so what finishes up happening is they get this big arrogance in themselves that they've actually done something. Now they know the truth and isn't it wonderful? And they start dumping on other people that they don't know the truth and, "I know the truth and you're useless if you don't practice this truth", and on they go. And we've met many people like this and what's happening is their condition of love is actually going backwards now.

Their own arrogance is actually making their condition in love go down now, and isn't that a shame? They discover Divine Truth and because of their attitude to it, of not wanting to change sincerely inside of their hearts, their own condition of love regresses and gets even worse. We have friends from our first century life who are still in the hells because of that. There are people we knew 2000 years ago who now, 2000 years later, are still in the hells even though we knew them in the first century and they heard all this Divine Truth. They heard many of the things I'm teaching you now, but they're still in the hells because they didn't learn one thing, and that is that true progression is about love and truth. It's not about anything else, and this is what we need to understand. [02:03:57.19]

5.5. It is loving to treat others as we would like to be treated - an example of vaccinations

Participant: I get confused sometimes about what I should do and what is loving. This example I gave before about vaccinations...

Can I stop you? The question about vaccinations is quite simple. Do you like having a vaccination? [02:04:24.13]

Participant: No.

No. So, is it loving to force your child to have one?

Participant: No.

There's the answer.

Participant: But I get told...

I know what you get told.

Participant: If I don't vaccinate my child so they're going to die of polio and...

Yeah so now what's happening?

Participant: I get afraid and I get fearful.

Exactly. Somebody in authority tells you a heap of things that trigger your fear and now you're away from that very simple question that I asked. The very simple question is, "Would I want have done to me something that I'm going to do to somebody else?" That's the simple question; it's a simple question of ethics. [02:05:05.05]

Participant: So if I then did vaccinate my child knowing that it was unloving is it like the consequences are on me, I've hurt someone?

Of course you have, yes. And you can't even say you haven't. You can justify it by going, "Well, the doctor told me that such and such," but it's a question of ethics. This is where love has to be in action. It's a question of ethics. Would you want somebody to come along with a needle and stick it in your arm and jab you with something? Did you like that when you were a child?

Participant: So the fact that my mother did let that happen to me, that was unloving of her.

Of course, because she didn't like it happening to her when she was a child!

Participant: But how can you know?

Just by going by the feeling. It's quite simple. And it's interesting you don't even want to answer the feeling. I've asked you the question three times and you've still not answered the question. [02:06:16.20]

Participant: Of?

Whether you would like to have it done to you?

Participant: Actually one time I actually went to have a vaccination.

I understand that but did you like it?

Participant: Not particularly but I thought it was protecting me.

Ah but see you're using your intellect and your fear to guide your action. That's what you're doing now.

Participant: Okay so you should always just follow the feeling and not what other people tell you.

No! I didn't say that at all. What did I say? Ask yourself whether you would like to have the same thing done to you? And if the answer is no, then don't do it to somebody else. Very simple, that's all you've got to ask. That's what sincerity would do.

5.5.1. Being sincere and ethical involves feeling fear and not justifying fear

You would just ask that simple one ethical question. You can't ask yourself that question and you want to go into the fear of, "But what happens if I don't give them a vaccination, then they might die, or they might get polio." We're now talking about your fears and that's not very sincere. That's not love in action now, that's fear in action. [02:07:38.23]

If we're talking about love in action, then what we would do is we'd focus on the ethical question. The question is, "Would I like to have done to me, what I'm considering doing to somebody else?" And the answer to that is often very plain, isn't it? Every time you ask that question you pretty much know whether you'd like it or not yourself and if the answer is, "I don't know," then that's different, but most of the time we do know what we would prefer to do.

All the other questions that came up into your mind after that, after I asked you that question was all just justification. You don't want to hear my answer, and that's okay because you'd rather hear the doctor's answer.

Participant: Well I've just had a child and I haven't vaccinated it.

Yes, and you are afraid.

Participant: I'm afraid because everyone tells me I should.

Exactly and you're afraid because what if they get polio or something like that, how will you feel then?

Participant: Terrible.

Exactly and that's what you're afraid of and so you'd rather go and get some kind of vaccination done than you would feel the fear and is that ethical? Is it ethical to go and do something that potentially can hurt another person that's not their choice to do? Its one thing for your adult child to go and get its own vaccination, but it's quite another for a child to have it forced upon it, a vaccination that it can't make the choice in its own right to have. And you're only doing it because you're afraid. That's the only reason why you're doing it. [02:09:23.21]

And of course God's Law of Attraction will attract to you people playing on your fear, and playing mind games with your fear, saying, "You've got to be afraid."

Participant: Yeah I'm quite tortured about that.

Yeah, and that's all because you're unprepared to feel your fear and so there's the lack of sincerity. You do not want to feel your fear and you're not sincere about it.

Participant: I don't know how to feel my fear.

That's not true either! You're feeling some of it as I'm speaking, aren't you? So it's not true what you just told me; that's another insincere lie that you just told me so that you can avoid feeling more of your fear. And this is what we keep going, "But, but, but, but, but this, but that," and we keep going with all these intellectual reasonings but the reality is right in that moment a lot of the time we are feeling the exact emotion that we think we can't feel. In fact the very moment that you asked the question about it, which has happened twice now in this discussion, you were afraid. Why do you think I didn't answer you the first time? Because the motive was insincere. It wasn't a question about, "Is vaccination loving from God's perspective?" It was just a question about your fear, you want me to tell you what to do and then when I tell you what to do, you've got somebody to blame when you didn't make the choice yourself. Do you see? [02:11:07.13]

Okay, so let me say that more straight with you. You are here. This is your child... daughter or son?

Participant: Son.

Son. That's your child. Who's responsible for your child?

Participant: Me.

That's what you're afraid of. You're afraid to make a choice that's out of harmony with what the world thinks you should do because then the world will say to you, "You're being a bad mother," when your child gets polio or whatever. That's what you're afraid of.

A mother is afraid of being responsible for her child and what the world thinks of her as a parent

And they play on that. You're afraid of being blamed by the world. You're afraid of what the world's opinion of you as a mother will be. You're afraid of quite a number of things here, so instead of doing that, what you do is you ask me, somebody who has no authority or jurisdiction over your child whatsoever, to arbitrate on a decision that you should have already made.

And the reason why you do that is because then if I tell you, do this, you will then have somebody to blame when something goes wrong. That's one of the reasons why you've done this and you don't even know that yet. You'd like to believe it's because you want the right thing for your child but it's not. It's because you are afraid, and you are unwilling to feel this fear that you have of your child's health, a fear of your child dying and it being your fault, a fear of what that's going to look like from the world's perspective. That's the fear that's present and you can feel it, that's the one that you're in now... that's it. (The participants starts crying) See that's beautiful, now you're connecting to it. [02:13:05.01]

And that's all that is needed. It's amazing how much we go through trying to get out of this, get out of that, manoeuvre here, manoeuvre there, manoeuvre here, manoeuvre there when the real fear is just right there ready to be felt but we don't want to feel it. This is what we find in many of the seminars that we have with people. Many times they're just asking me one fear based question after another fear based question after another fear based question through the seminar. And this is one reason why lately I've taken to do interviews because I get a list of questions that are not fear based or that have been thought out rather than questions that are fear motivated.

So what I'm trying to do more and more lately in the seminars even is confront people's fears and say, "Look this is the issue you're having here. The issue is the sincerity about feeling this feeling, are you really sincere about feeling that feeling?" Well just in that moment just before when you started to cry, you were sincere about feeling that feeling. That's what it feels like. That's what sincerity of emotion feels like.

Before then you were asking me question after question after question that weren't sincere because they didn't address the real problem. The real problem was your fear, not the child's immunisation, but your fear of what would happen. That's the real problem. And this is what we often do in our lives. We do not want to address the real problem so we'll look for other problems all the time, because we don't want to take responsibility for the problem that's present. [02:14:56.01]

5.6. Being honest about how much we want to change

And so we'll tell ourselves all these things. If you think about the messages you just told yourself. You told me you can't feel your fear but you just did so that tells me you can. You told me you didn't know how to feel your fear, but you just did so that tells me you do know how. It's just that we don't want to. See every time we tell ourselves these messages, the real thing we should be saying is, "I don't want to." And the reality is for many of us, we don't want to change. The reality is for many of us we don't want to feel our negative emotions. The reality is for many of us, we don't want to change our life so much that other people will notice because then they might attack us and we don't want to be attacked.

And so in the end we finish up doing a lot of things just because we don't want to have our fear confronted. We don't want to be sincere. We don't want to and we need to address why we don't want to, which is always a fear. 02:16:18.12]

6. With sincerity; change, pain and joy are certain

Mary: So, babe, it sounds like from what you're saying that if we engage sincerity every moment of the day, then one, change is inevitable.

Yes, change is inevitable. That's very true, yes.

Mary: Two, there will likely be pain but over time we will feel better and better.

When you say there will likely be pain, well let's shorten that to the fact, which is, there will be pain.

Mary: There will be pain since we haven't been sincere for so long, there's going to be pain now we start to be.

Yes of course but not only for that reason. Error itself causes pain and as we release error, pain has to be released. So we will feel pain, every time. There will be pain. It's guaranteed.

Mary: Yep, but if we are engaged in sincerity all day, every day, say, change will happen. There will be pain but very soon we'll feel better overall.

Well, because we're feeling the pain we're releasing it. So every time we engage another moment of sincerity we feel a bit more pain, we release the pain and now the pains gone. So what's left? [02:17:36.06]

Mary: Joy.

Joy, happiness, peace.

Mary: Relief.

Relief. This is what's left. So change is inevitable. Pain is inevitable. You can't avoid it and if you're trying to avoid it, you're not going to ever be sincere on the path to God. If you try to avoid pain, you're never going to be successful. The reality is there are errors within us that have pain associated with them and any time an error is pulled out, it's like a big splinter being pulled out in the moment of doing it, there's a moment of pain. But if you leave the splinter in, what happens? It goes infectious and sometimes you can even die from just leaving a splinter in. There can be septicaemia and then all sorts of diseases. People have died from those kind of very small things and the reason why is because they're unwilling to go along and cut it open and pull it out. And what we need to do is approach our emotional welfare exactly the same way. Change is inevitable. There will be pain. Pain is inevitable. [02:18:49.24]

Mary: But thirdly, there will be more joy over time.

Yep. If we embrace sincerity every day, change is certain, pain is certain, and joy is certain.

Mary: So the way I can measure my sincerity, if I am sincere, is if I look at my life and if there's no change and I'm not experiencing pain and I'm not increasing in joy, I'm clearly engaged in a process that's not sincere.

Totally and you're clearly engaged in hypocrisy and you're clearly engaged in addiction. If change and pain are not happening in your stages of progression, you're definitely in a state of hypocrisy, you're definitely in a state of addiction. And you'll never experience complete joy while you stay in that state. But when you embrace sincerity, change is certain because you become sincere. You start noticing yourself as you truly are, you can see everything going on, you know exactly who you are. Pain is certain because all of the errors that are in you, all of the unloving things that are within you, will come out. They're going to have to come out somehow and they will come out of you and when that comes out of you, the joy is certain as well. It's definitely going to come along. [02:20:48.02]

6.1. If we are sincere we take action

But also what I feel for all of that to happen, there's a primary requirement, and that is you've got to take action.

You can't expect to talk about change and you can't expect to talk about your pain and then expect things to change. You've got to actually feel it. There's got to be an action involved. You can't expect to speak with your friends about the problem or the solution to the problem even without personally taking some action on any issue. That applies to all the issues we've listed.

Participant: I just wanted to add that I've just been focused a lot on problems and not facing the problems in ourself. What I've been experiencing myself is I've actually been acting on my passions and that also really creates change.

I agree but I can't agree that you're acting on your passions. I'm sorry. You've been presented with many opportunities that you like the idea of but instead of acting today, you delay your action, and that's a state of insincerity. You see if you were truly honouring your desires and passions, you would notice one being presented to you, an opportunity to do one presented to you, and you would instantly embrace it. You wouldn't put it off for any reason. [02:22:28.07]

Participant: Well since our last meeting, in the last few weeks, I feel I've been acting.

6.2. An example of a couple in a relationship being honest about their fears

I know you feel you have been, and I'm saying to you you're being insincere because there are many things that you've been presented with. Would you like me to be more specific?

Participant: Yeah, please.

What happened in Spain?

Participant: I went to investigate a possible chance to stay there and live there.

Yep and were you offered one?

Participant: Yes.

And does the person want you to be there now?

Participant: Yes.

So why aren't you there?

Participant: I came back to...

Why? Let's be honest.

Participant:...To see if it was a true desire.

No.

Participant: I wanted to test the waters.

No. Keep going.

Participant: One of them was for Jessica.

Ah, yes! Now we're being truthful. So why did you come back really? Let's be honest. [02:23:36.04]

Participant: I was scared of my relationship breaking up.

Yes. That's why you came back.

Participant: But I'm going back.

No, you're not going back. When are you going back?

Participant: September.

Ah! Yes. You're not going back tomorrow, are you?

Participant: Not tomorrow, no.

This is what I'm saying and why aren't you going back tomorrow, because? What was the reason? [02:24:02.11]

Participant: I want to spend some more time with Jessica.

No. You stated it correctly first. You are afraid of your relationship with Jessica breaking up.

Participant: Yeah.

You're afraid that if you embrace a desire right now that your relationship will break up. That's what you're afraid of. That's why you're not doing it.

Participant: Yeah.

And you're not being sincere about the reason. You're also not being sincere about the fact that Jess is potentially going on a trip by herself, is she not? [02:24:35.21]

Participant: Yes.

And the reason why you're going back is she'll be gone on a trip in September. Is that not true?

Participant: That's true.

Okay so you are not addressing this issue with Jess about how afraid you are. Why is she going on a trip by herself if she wants to have a relationship with you? You don't want to feel that. [02:24:57.22]

Participant: Yeah, it's one of the things that I ask her.

Exactly!

Participant: And she feels like she wants to so...

I understand. But you're not expressing how afraid you are of that. This is where the insincerity is, you see? And you're also not saying to Jess, "Well do you really want to be with me, because the feeling I get is if you want to be off alone doing everything all the time. So I'm starting to question whether you want to be with me, and whether we've got the same passions and desires." But you're not willing to have that discussion with her either because...

Participant: I'm afraid.

You're afraid of losing her relationship. Can you see how we can tell ourselves even that we're being sincere, while at the very same time being insincere? It's great that you've engaged that with me, Perry, because it illustrates this process that we go through. A process we go through where we want to tell ourselves that we've got everything down pat that we're now working through our stuff and all that kind of thing, not realising that the fear that we have, which in your case is very much related to what the woman feels about you. So some of your core emotional feelings are about what women feel about you. That's what you're worried about.

And yet that's the very emotion that it took me a little bit of reasoning with you to get to the point of you saying. Up until then you were willing to say that you were addressing your desires and passions but I can't agree, I'm sorry. You might think that I'm draining out gnats and gulping down camels, but the reality is that if your desire was really present and you didn't have this fear with Jess, you would already be embracing your desire. That's true isn't it? [02:26:50.02]

Participant: So it's not a true desire until you're actually doing it?

Exactly, yeah! This is a beautiful thing to understand about sincerity. You see sincerity creates action. When you're truly sincere on any matter, you will change, you will do it now. See many of us put off things. We keep putting them off because we're not really sincere. We have fears, and fears cause us to not be sincere. So in this moment while you believe you're being sincere there's a big fear. The big fear is the woman and how she feels about me and whether she's going to want me. That's the big fear.

And while that big fear is present, you're not going to engage your desires and passions, because that fear is going to dictate a lot of your life. So my suggestion is to look at that fear that's the one being exposed. Now, there's a couple of ways to look at it. One way is to begin addressing with Jess really what's going on inside of yourself when she feels like she wants to be by herself all the time. What's really happening is you are skipping over many things with Jess. Jess wants to be by herself a lot of the time and doesn't want to engage a relationship with you or any other man because she has fears that she is unwilling to sincerely address. [02:28:09.15]

And you're unwilling to address those with her because you're afraid of losing the relationship with her. And so what you finish up doing is one person's avoiding one set of fears, the other person's avoiding the other set of fears and now we're in this, what I would call, the "facade dance," the dance of hypocrisy that we have with each other in the relationship. Jess, to be frank, you're making out you want to go away for some reason that you are totally unable to be honest with yourself about. And you, Perry, are totally unwilling to address her lack of honesty in why she's actually going away.

It's a lot to do with her addictions, that's the reason why she's going away without you and you're unwilling to address them in her because you're afraid that if you address them, she won't like you anymore and she'll want to leave you, which is possible given Jess's tendency to avoid her addictions. The possibility is that you'll say to Jess, "Look why is it that this is happening and this is happening?" All these things you're uncertain about? And Jess, because she doesn't want to address her fears, she doesn't want to address the reason why she's in her addictions, goes, "How dare you say all these things. I never want to see you again."

Now that's one possibility. There is another possibility. There's a possibility that Jess will want to deal with her stuff sincerely, that she'll want to stop looking at justifying to herself why she wants to be alone or go away on this particular trip without you. She'll start looking sincerely at what's going on because you're being honest with her about it. And then you will start maybe addressing this whole issue of how afraid you are of losing the woman's love. That's the other possibility, but that possibility is not going to happen while you're in facade about both of those things, or while Jess is in facade about those things. It can't happen. It can only happen when we both get out of the facade and into the actual feelings. [02:30:27.04]

So the way myself and Mary interact all the time is we are constantly addressing with each other feelings that we have with each other as to what we feel is going on. What is the real thing that is happening. What is the real discontent that exists, if any exists. We're also very honest and open about the happiness that exists to the same amount and when you do that, you can't avoid growing every day because you're now engaging this process really sincerely.

6.2.1. We choose our façade to avoid the truth

So it's great that you raised the issue because what it does is it shows how many times we tell ourselves things that are not really true that skip around the actual issue. We see this happening all the time with couples and with individuals, just skipping around this issue, dancing around that issue, trying to avoid this issue and yet when you question them, they do know the issue. Just like when I questioned you, when I said, "No, no, no," All those previous issues you gave me, what were they? They were the issues you would like it to be, rather than the issue it really was.

You see, and this is why we choose facade. This is why we choose hypocrisy because there's a whole heap of things we'd like to be true and that's why we want to put on the face, because we want them to be true rather than the real truth. We don't want to feel embarrassed or whatever about the real truth, but when I go, "No, it's not that. No, it's not that. No, it's not. There it is! That one!" You can recognise it too. [02:32:15.03]

Participant: This is why sometimes I get confused with personal responsibility. So I had my job, I was just on holiday.

Yep.

Participant: So is it loving if I was in my desire and I was in Spain, and I acted on my desire and stayed, then is it unloving just for me to call up my job and say sorry?

Whose job is it?

Participant: The job that I was working at.

Yep. Whose is it?

Participant: The business where I was working.

But whose is it? It was your job, wasn't it?

Participant: Yeah.

And whose life is it?

Participant: My life.

Yeah. So you're allowed to change your life, aren't you? [02:32:58.10]

Participant: Yeah.

And even now you're not being truthful with me. Why is that, Perry?

Participant: I've actually gone a bit spaced out.

Yeah. So let's come back in. What's going on? So let's feel about the actual issue here. Do you still have the job?

Participant: No.

No. So can you see the whole issue you just raised was even a furphy? It was a self-deception. Why would you raise a self deception? See you were saying to me that you were coming back for the sake of your job but the reality is you've lost your job. [02:33:41.16]

Participant: Yeah.

So why would you say that?

Participant: I think it was coming from the feeling of coming back home to resolve things in England before going back.

Yes but the real thing you wanted to resolve in England before you went back to Spain and followed your desire was this girl. That's the real thing you want to resolve. So let's be honest about it.

Participant: That was the main thing.

That's the only thing really when you think about it. Her. Like you want her to be in your life and you'd love to embrace these things together. Is that not true? But Jess has problems with that, doesn't she? [02:34:28.20]

Participant: A little, yeah.

Not just a little. (Laughs) Again, be honest. She has problems with that. So unless you resolve these issues together, in a loving manner, then it's going to be quite difficult either way. This is the issue you face. In the previous question you asked about your job, you were trying to distract yourself, not me, because I already know what the problem is. You were trying to distract yourself away again from the real issue. You want to give yourself another reason or two as to why you didn't follow your desire. But the first reason was good enough in my opinion to examine because that is the one that was really present. You don't need to find other reasons. You just need to focus on that reason as to why you came back and sacrificed your desire to do so. You need to examine what's really going on between yourself and Jess and to be frank with you, you have deep feelings inside of yourself that Jess's heart is not committed with you. Is that not true?

Participant: It's true.

Now Jess's heart is not committed with you. Is that not true? And so this is the problem. If you're in a relationship with somebody whose heart is not committed with you, then of course there's going to be a problem. Now I'm not saying Jess doesn't want to love you because there is a feeling I have that she does. But there obviously are reasons why she's not fully embracing her heart in the relationship. And, Perry, you are so frightened of that that you're willing to sacrifice six good weeks in Spain, instead of inviting her out to there with you in order to address that particular issue. I understand why, I can see why, but what I'm suggesting to you is you need to be sincere about that. [02:36:38.08]

6.2.2. If we are sincere we will address the real issues

So you need to be sincere about the reasons why you're doing that because if you're sincere you'll find what's going on. But if you're not sincere you won't find what's going on, you'll skirt around the issue, and you'll be asking other people, "What should I do? What do you think I should do?" When in your heart there's already a feeling that you know something's up with Jess, you know that her heart's not involved in your relationship as much as yours is. You can feel that and you're unwilling it address it because you're afraid of scaring her away from you even more and losing the relationship for good. And this is the main reason why you avoid the issue.

The beauty of sincerity in this case is that you'd go, "Wow, yeah, that's exactly what I feel actually." And you would have some grief about that, so you'd probably have a cry about it, and then you'd also want to raise the issue with Jess. And the beauty of doing that is that Jess might then have to be forced into, through the interaction, feeling into, "Why am I not opening my heart to this man who I am acting like to want to have a relationship with, but I'm not really having one with? Why am I doing that? What's happened in my past that's causing me to be blocked to having this relationship in my heart?" This then allows you to address that issue together without anger and without resentment, but to actually focus on the real issue. [02:38:11.03]

When that doesn't happen of course we go into our facade and then Jess will justify her behaviour such as because she's got a child and she's got to do this with the ex and whatever. And then you'll get into your facade as well about what you feel. That doesn't address the issue and this is where I feel it's very powerful if you can do this. If you can do this with sincerity, you can rapidly get to it. What I find has happened, and it's taken us some time, hasn't it, darling, for each of us to actually be sincere 100% of the time with each other and stick to the actual problem, not the problem that we want to be there instead of the actual problem.

6.2.3. Addressing the real issues will lead us to grief and then to joy

You see the beauty of the actual problem is that's where all the grief is and so therefore if we resolve it, that's where also all of our happiness will finish up being. But if we choose a different problem, then that's not where our grief is and therefore when it's resolved, it's also not going to make us happy. It's almost like we spend all of our time focusing on issues that are neither where the pain is, nor where the potential joy can be. And remember we listed this - pain is certain, and in fact once the pain's released, joy is certain. But if we're focusing on a problem with a lack of sincerity, if we're focusing on a problem where there is no pain, we also are certain in the future to not have any joy in resolving that problem. [02:40:09.20]

And I see people doing this all the time, even with their relationships with each other, but also their work environment and every other facet of life, where they focus on solving this particular problem, when that particular problem ends up with nobody being happier. But if you resolve the real problem, everyone ends up being happier. I know where I'd rather spend my time - in the problems that end up with everyone happier. And that's where I feel, if you can focus on that same issue yourselves, I think you will find a huge amount of benefit with that.

6.2.4. To resolve issues in a relationship sincere communication as well as humility is required

Participant: And as advice in this situation, I know that instead of me trying to change Jessica's mind or just to feel, how that feels for me?

No. If you feel that Jessica is not doing the right thing and not being honest with herself, then it's right for you to say, "Jessica, you're not being honest with yourself, I feel there is something more here that you're not facing. There's some addiction going on here that you're not facing and I feel I'd like to face it, and I'd like to work my way through it." Be honest about that. So I'm not saying to just sit there quietly feeling your own emotions. I'm saying that you need to feel your own emotions but there's still the problem and the problem does need to be resolved. And the only way it's going to be resolved is by the two of you finding the solution, which exists by both of you feeling different emotions. That's the only way it's going to be resolved.

Other than that, if you don't resolve it, you can't come together. You can't be closer than you currently are. I know you desperately want to be closer than you currently are but that's partly some of the addiction that's involved for you. And Jess desperately wants to have some level of control in a relationship, and maintain some level of distance so that she can feel safe and not get her heart too involved and that's her issue that she needs to allow herself to work her way through. If you both embrace this issue in truth and in harmony with sincerity, there's a good chance that both of you will address those problems. [02:42:28.06]

But if one of you acts out of harmony with sincerity or the other does, or both of you do, there's no chance of ever resolving that problem. And if you think about it, this problem has been present for a long time in your relationship for different reasons. Now some of the reasons why you, Jess, can't open your heart are because of some things that have happened in the past with the man that you're unwilling to tell him about. So this is where again, if we're sincere and open, we can work our way through all of that pain.

And one of the reasons why we don't want to share what's happened in the past is because you want to avoid the pain of how it felt. And constantly people in relationships are trying to avoid this pain. We're really dancing around, like I said, in the facade. Dancing around the pain, trying to avoid the pain and yet where the pain is, is also eventually where all of our joy can be. So if our relationship is causing us pain, if we focus on the relationship and focus on what is causing the pain in the relationship, now we have the potential of creating joy in that area. [02:43:42.21]

But if we just let the pain fester like a sore on our arm that's festering and growing, and we don't fix it, sooner or later it's going to infect the whole thing, and our whole relationship will probably die from that one problem. Jess you wanted to ask a few things?

6.2.5. Addressing causal pain automatically creates forgiveness and joy

Participant: I'm not sure if it's relevant actually but what I was going to ask about forgiveness. Whenever you have experienced pain truthfully there isn't really a need for forgiveness because once you actually own your pain. The Law of Attraction that brought you an event that was painful, and once you're really truthful with yourself there isn't this need for forgiveness, which is kind of a judgement, isn't it?

You need to feel all of the causal emotion of what created the pain, which in your case it's very much related to your childhood and issues surrounding your dad.

There's a lot of causal emotional pain in there and once you feel that emotion then the pain automatically has gone and when the pain's gone forgiveness is automatic. So you're right, forgiveness is automatic but only once that causal pain is gone. [02:45:09.21]

So the reality is, Perry could do something to injure your relationship right now, you could go through forgiveness of him by feeling the pain he caused you, but in the end you're not going to forgive him completely until the causal pain, which is related to your father, is also addressed. Then you'll have forgiven completely. Until then you're basically blaming every man for your dad's actions and so any man that comes along into your life is automatically going to feel blamed before he begins the relationship, while this causal emotion exists. This causal emotion is the primary cause in fact of your own pain and therefore the primary limiter of your own joy. In pretty much all cultures on the Earth, pain is something that everyone wants to avoid. But the problem is, it's the things that cause us pain that also are the things that will potentially give us joy, if we resolve the pain. So we have no hope of ever being happy while we're avoiding our pain.

Also, our soul is not able to select between painful and pleasurable experiences. If we're going to be open we're going to have to experience every painful and pleasurable experience. That's what it means to be open. Eventually as we release all the pain within us, none of the experiences will be painful, but it requires complete emotional openness to do this. What many of us are still trying to do is to select. We try to say, "Is this painful? Yes. I don't want to feel it then. Is this pleasurable? Yes. Well I'll feel that." The problem is while you're shutting down your pain, you're never going to feel the pleasure. So it's impossible to feel complete pleasure while you're also shutting down your pain. So it's a very necessary thing to understand that pain is certain and to be content with that through this process. [02:47:30.21]

Participant: I know I've asked you this lots but I really struggle with actually feeling what the causal is. I've done some work understanding like what the emotions are but actually getting a direct feeling of like, "Oh I remember that happening."

A lot of times you don't even need to worry about that. Let's say Perry does something that triggers an emotion in you. For example, Perry does something and you feel you've no longer got control of the relationship. So what do you feel? You feel out of control. You feel you've no longer got control. Initially you'll have anger, so you'll feel some of the anger and then you'll have fear, and you feel the fear, and then you'll have a cry about the fact that you've no longer got control, eventually if you let yourself get there, you'll cry about it. During that cry about it you will release some of this causal emotion.

Eventually as you go through that process each time he does something where you feel, you're out of control with; you'll eventually get to what really caused you to feel out of control. You will eventually get there. You might not get there the first time you do it, but just let yourself feel the pain without trying to find what caused it. Whenever we try to find that pain and what causes it, we are now out of sincerity with the process because the process is - just feel it and you'll find what caused it. [02:48:57.24]

And if you're going, "Oh but what's this about? I don't know if it's about my dad. I don't know if it's about my...? What if it's...? I don't know if I..." Now you're already out of the process. The sincere process that a child would have is it would just have a big cry because he or she hurts. That's what you need to have.

7. Closing Words

So what I'd like to do though is finish off now actually and I'd like to encourage each of you to focus on becoming a lot more sincere with yourselves about what's really inside of you and also a lot more sincere with everyone around you about what you feel. And take action in your life. Don't put off your actions. You get presented with opportunities constantly by God, every single day, and many times in those moments what we do is we get presented with the opportunity and then we run away from the opportunity. If somebody came along and presented you with one opportunity, and you didn't take it and they present you with another opportunity, and you didn't take it and present you with another, and you don't take that, what eventually happens is the opportunities will start becoming less and less in our lives, won't they? Until such a point in time that we feel like our life's just stagnant and mundane and then we might make some changes.

My suggestion is, every opportunity that comes along to change and deal with something in sincerity, do it now. Do it right away. If you do it right away, you have the possibility of joy soon after. If you don't do it right away then there'll be no joy soon after. Joy is not going to be possible without taking action and acting in sincerity.

So I just wanted to discuss that with you today. I hope that's been okay and, thanks, baby. Mary was happy about that conversation! Thanks for your time tonight. (Applause) Hope to catch up with you soon again. Thanks, guys. (Applause) Thank you.

