

Bobby the Aardvark

A transsexual tale

by Sandra Wagner

Copyright 2014 Sandra Wagner

Smashwords ebook edition

Ebook ISBN: 978-1-3105-0241-5

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Prologue

Waking up

At breakfast

At the Family Doctor's office

Back home

The morning of re-orientation

At re-orientation

Return to the Doctor's Office

At School

In the storm

A house in the woods

Dr. Dumont and Bobby

Story ending 1

Story ending 2

Afterword

About the author
Introduction

While this is a story about a little boy becoming an aardvark, it is not about a little boy becoming an aardvark.

Over the last several years, I have given a workshop about what it is like to be part of the transgender community. More specifically what it is like to be transsexual.

In my dealings with the straight and LGB communities I have found quite a similarity of opinions, impressions, and questions about what it feels like to be trans* and be in the trans community.

It inspired me to create a workshop called "Transgender 101 - Transgender Information for the Non-Trans Community."

In the workshop I try to bypass the knee-jerk reaction many people have to words that have the letters S-E-X in them. Many people feel that being transsexual is somehow a clinical term for a sexual deviant. They have images of men in dresses prancing around on talk shows.

But in actuality, nothing could be further from the truth. Being transsexual is a lifelong quest to simply feel "normal". Being transsexual has very little to do with sexuality, or sexual gratification, or genitalia.

In my workshop I try to convey that being transsexual is about not feeling normal, of how everything feels out of place. And while many say that they feel like they are "a man in a woman's body" or vice versa, I relate it to feeling like you have your shoes on the wrong feet, but all over your body.

In my workshop I say "How would you feel if you woke up tomorrow and you were an aardvark? You looked like an aardvark, you smelled like an aardvark, and all the other aardvarks told you to just 'aardvark up' and get over it!" I used aardvark simply because it was a light-hearted reference devoid of any sexual connotations and, of course, it's the first animal, and word, in the dictionary. Little did I know that I would be typing the word aardvark several hundred times in the creation of this story.

By using that imagery, I attempt to convey that being trans* is like waking up in a completely alien environment. It is not about sex or sexual gratification. We don't know how to be, or how to act, like the gender we were born, just like little Bobby has his problems trying to adjust to the aardvark world.

Also in the story I try to convey how humiliated we are made to feel because of our difference from mainstream society. And the way that society has often treated trans* people.

That then, is the essence of this story. I have been this little boy. And I've spent quite a number of years in the world of "aardvarks". And I too searched for a way home.

Introduction to Second Edition:

This version of "Bobby the Aardvark" has been revised to correct tenses and spelling errors. It was done with the gracious assistance of my mentor and editor, Doris Wight.

Doris has helped focus this new version and I think it has been improved greatly as a result. I cannot thank her enough for her insight as a renowned writer and editor in her own right, and her helpfulness in guiding me as I grow as a writer.

Thank you Doris!
Prologue

There once was a little boy. His name was Bobby. He liked to do all the things little boys do.

Bobby was 8 years old. He liked to run.

And jump.

Splash in puddles.

Play in the sandbox.

Fly his toy airplane.

Pretend to travel to different planets in his rocket ship.

Build snowmen.

He hated school or going to the doctor to get shots.

He thought girls were dumb because they played with dolls.

He was fearless. Once, his friends dared him to eat a bug. And without even blinking he reached down and picked up an ant and ate it! His friends thought he was very brave.

One night, while Bobby was in bed, a terrible storm came.

There was thunder and lightning. The thunder was loud and woke Bobby up. The flashes of lightning were bright and frightened him.

He hid under the covers to hide from the lightning and covered his ears from the thunder.

The storm seemed to go on and on, but even with all the flashing of lightning and banging of thunder, Bobby fell back to sleep.

In the morning the sun came out and the sky was clear. The birds chirped. And the flowers bloomed. Bobby awoke and tried to turn over, but found it was hard. He was still tangled up in the sheets.

His hands didn't feel right. They seemed thick and clumsy.

He opened his eye but couldn't see anything because his head was still under the covers.

After struggling for a bit, he managed to throw off the covers and sat up in bed.

He looked at his room and it seemed different, wrong.

His toy cars were gone.

His rocket ship was gone.

The clothes in his closet were all different.

Then he noticed something horrible! His nose seemed to stick out from his face. It was long! And huge! And was covered in FUR!!

Then he looked at his hands sticking out of his pajamas. They were PAWS! Covered in fur!

He threw off the covers and looked at his feet at the bottom of his pajamas and they were paws too!

He struggled to take off his top but his paws had a hard time undoing the large buttons. So he lifted his top and he saw he was covered in FUR!!!

He screamed and screamed. But his voice was different and instead of his loud boy voice, out came a high pitched squeak.

Waking up

All of a sudden two large creatures came running into his room, one dressed in a suit and tie, the other in a dress. They both had long noses and were covered in fur and had paws instead of hands.

"Bobby! What's the matter son? Are you hurt?" asked the creature in the suit and tie.

Bobby just stared at them in horror, and screamed some more.

The creature in the dress came over and sat on his bed and tried to comfort him.

"Bobby, honey, it's all right. What is the matter?" asked the creature in the dress as she leaned over to hug him.

Bobby tried to push the creature away and hide under the blankets.

All of a sudden the woman creature became cross.

"Bobby Aardvark! Stop that screaming this instant! Stop it!"

Hearing the angry tone in the woman creatures voice, he stopped, but still whimpered.

"Now come out of those covers and tell me what is wrong!"

Bobby, trembling, lowered the covers away from his face.

"What is the problem, young aardvark?" she said sternly.

He just stared at her, trembling.

"Are you hurt?" asked the she-creature.

Bobby shook his head no.

"Say something. Tell me what's wrong."

Bobby struggled to find his voice and when he spoke it came out all wrong.

"It's wrong, all wrong!" Bobby stammered.

"What's wrong?"

"Can't you see?? I'm covered in fur and I have paws and my nose is huge!"

"What do you mean, covered in fur? Of course you're coved in fur! All aardvarks have fur! Your father and I have fur, all your friends have fur, all aardvarks have fur." she replied.

"That's what you get for letting him eat ants and beetles before he goes to bed, Betty! It gives him nightmares!" said the creature in the suit and tie.

"John, now you know that's not true!" said the she-creature.

"Now Bobby, you get out of that bed this minute and get ready for school!" said the man-creature.

The creature in the dress softened her tone and said "Now Bobby, get dressed and I'll make you some breakfast" She patted him on his head, and when she did, Bobby felt her rub his long ears. "I've got long ears just like them!" he thought. He was horrified.

She got up off his bed and the two creatures left the room. He could hear them talking outside in hushed but angry tones.

He couldn't make out quite what they were saying, but he heard the word doctor mentioned several times. Then they went off to another part of the house.

Bobby took off the covers and tried to stand up. He found it difficult and he stumbled backward. That's when he discovered he had a tail too! It helped prop him up.

He tried taking off his top by undoing the buttons but his clumsy paws wouldn't work right. In the end he took his top off over his head. It was easier taking off his bottoms. But he had to maneuver his tail out of the pajama bottoms. He struggled into what he thought were his clothes that were laid over a chair in his room. It took him two tries to put the stripped tee-shirt on, and there was a hole in the back of his pants for his tail.

He looked out the door of his room and found the hallway led one way to more rooms and the other way opened up to a large living room. He tried to walk to the living area and felt so out of balance. His tail swung this way and that as he walked. He found after a few steps that the tail would swing the opposite way that he stepped and actually helped him walk straight.

Through the living room he could see a dining area and a kitchen just behind it. He sat at one of the chairs in the dining room and the she-creature came in.

At breakfast

"Would you like some breakfast, son?" Bobby was getting the impression that they thought he was their son, which would mean that this creature would be his mother.

"Yes, please,...er,...mom." said Bobby. After the trauma of waking up he was hungry and thought some bacon and eggs that his real mother made would set him right.

"Your usual?"

"Yes, please"

His "mother" went back into the kitchen and started making breakfast making noises in the kitchen.

Then his "father" came in carrying a briefcase and a newspaper under his arm.

"How are you feeling, son?"

"I still feel sick." he said trying not to stare at the creature who thought he was his son.

"Well your mother and I think you should go to the doctor and have him check you out. You can't be too careful these days. There are so many infections running around."

"OK,...er...dad."

"Well I've got to be getting to work. You'll stay home from school today to go to the doctor. But if he finds that you're faking being sick to try to get out of going to school, you'll be doing chores until doomsday!" His father still didn't think he was really sick and though he was trying to play hooky.

With that he picked up his newspaper and briefcase and kissed his wife and spoke to her quietly and headed out the door. Seeing the two creatures kiss was very odd. His father turned his head sideways and leaned in to kiss his mother's cheek. His huge nose wrapped around the back of her head as his lips touched her cheek.

After a few minutes, his mother came in carrying a plate. "Here you are, dear, your favorite! Scrambled eggs with ants" Bobby stared at the plate put before him. It was scrambled eggs all right, but mixed in were black and brown shapes that looked like ants, real ants! He looked up at his mother incredulously.

"What's the matter dear?"

He looked down at the plate again and said "I'm not hungry right now"

"You really should eat something. Would you like some toast with ant butter, instead?"

"NO! No, please. Could I have some orange juice instead?"

"Certainly darling. Would you like some ant sprinkles on it like you usually do?"

"No, please! Just plain orange juice"

He remembered reading somewhere that aardvarks are also called anteaters and he was figuring out that ants made up a big part of being an aardvark.

"You really should have some ants, honey. They make you grow big and strong, you know."

"I really don't like ants; I think they're disgusting."

"How could you say that! Your father works all day to find us ants for our supper! You have to eat ants. That's what we eat!"

"I'm sorry, mom, but I really don't like ants"

"That's very strange. You used to eat all you could. You said you loved them. How about some beetles instead? They're almost as good for you, but they are a bit chewy, because of the legs, you know."

"NO! NO! NO! NO!" Bobby screamed. "I don't eat bugs! I'm not an anteater! I'm not supposed to have fur! I'm not supposed to have a tail! This nose is like an elephant's nose! I'm not and aardvark!!! I'M A BOY!!!! A HUMAN BOY!!!!"

Bobby couldn't take it any longer and started sobbing uncontrollably.

His mother was aghast at the revelation. She had never heard of such a thing.

"Of course you're not a human! You are our son! You've had fur all your life. You had such a cute little nose that would wiggle when you giggled. How could you be human?"

"I don't know, but all of this is wrong! Just wrong! I don't know how I got here. This isn't where I was born. My real mother is human; my real father is human. I eat human food! I DON'T EAT ANTS!!!!"

"BOBBY AARDVARK! YOU STOP THAT KIND OF TALK RIGHT NOW! HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING? I AM YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR FATHER IS YOUR FATHER! DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT WE AREN'T YOUR PARENTS! YOU ARE OUR SON AND WE LOVE YOU DEEPLY! HOW COULD YOU BE SO HURTFUL!" with that Mother Aardvark began to cry. "You mean and ungrateful child! I gave birth to you, your father works to put a roof over your head and I slave each day to take care of this family and you have the gall to say I'm not your mother? That you have a human mother? Do you even know what humans do to aardvarks? They kill us and spear us and roast us over a fire! And you want to become a human?"

Bobby is horrified. He had never eaten an aardvark in his life, at least he doesn't think so. "What I'm trying to say, Mom, is that I don't want to become human, I AM human! I've always been human. I've never killed an aardvark and I've never eaten any either! And I'm not allowed to play with fire!"

"How can you say you've always been human? You've always been here with us. You've never been farther away than the Miller's Anthill. Don't you remember? That's when you were so young you thought that bee hive was an ant hill and stuck your nose in there? You got so stung and cried for days!"

"No I don't. I have never been here! I don't remember ever being here! I don't eat bugs!!!"

"Bobby! You go to your room this instant! And don't come out until we go to the doctor's office!"

Bobby went to his room and lay down on the bed. He just stared at the ceiling. He couldn't bear to look at himself, though everywhere he looked he couldn't help but see his long nose. After a time, he looked around the room and saw some books on his desk. Some were children's books, some were adventure, some were comic books. But all of them had pictures of aardvarks as the main characters. Many of them told stories of the evil things humans did. They showed pictures of humans attacking the herd and carrying off helpless aardvarks to cook for their supper. They depicted the humans with spears and fire, and only wanting to eat aardvarks. It said that humans thought aardvarks were very tasty when cooked.

Bobby was bewildered. He had never killed anything. Neither had his family or friends. He had never heard of anyone eating aardvark stew.

The stories all showed how the herd had to stick together to protect themselves from the marauding humans. It told stories from the "Great Book of Aardvark History" that showed how by sticking together they could survive, that anyone who behaved differently than the rest of the herd had to be chased off for the good of the whole herd.

Bobby put the book down in horror. Now he understood why his "parents" were so horrified to hear him say that he was human.

He didn't know what to do.

He turned over in his mind how he could have ended up in such a crazy place. The last thing he remembered was the storm. The lightning was so strong and the thunder was so loud. Then he remembered... nothing. Just waking here, in this strange body. The odd creatures thought that he was their son. But if that was true, what happened to the Bobby that lived here?

A little while later his mother came into his room and told him it was time to leave.

At the Family Doctor's office

They got into the car and drove to the doctor's office.

As they drove, Bobby looked out the window of the car. He could see shops and houses that looked very much like any shop in the human world. But instead of people, there are aardvarks. All walking upright. Their tails rock to and fro as they walk. It is a bizarre sight and he couldn't stop staring.

At the doctor's office Mrs. Aardvark went to the receptionist. "I'm here to see Dr. Cranston."

"What is the purpose of your visit?" asks the receptionist.

"It's about my son."

"What's the matter with him?" she asks in a bored sort of way.

"He's not himself. He's acting strangely."

"He's having behavioral issues? What kind? Nightmares, wetting the bed, what? I need to know for the doctor's report."

Almost whispering she said, "He thinks he is human."

"What?" The receptionist dropped her pen stood up and looked over the counter at Bobby. "Hey girls! Get a load of this! This little aardvark thinks he's human!"

She said it loud enough that the entire reception area heard it. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at him. Some of them looked disgusted. The other workers in the reception area crowded around the receptionist's window and stared at him. Some snickered and pointed. Many started to laugh.

Bobby felt completely humiliated. He wanted to run away, but Mrs. Aardvark was holding his wrist so tightly he can't run. He just hung his head in shame.

The receptionist finally stopped laughing long enough finish writing her notes. "Ok, have a seat, the doctor will see you soon." She was barely able to conceal her contempt.

The reception area was very crowded and Bobby and Mrs. Aardvark had to sit separately. Bobby was seated between two old aardvarks.

"Whatcha doing here honey? You think you're a hewmaun? Look at him Gracie, he thinks he's hewmaun." Gracie held up her paws in mock fear "Yeah, Mary, you can see he just wants to just eat us up! I'm sooo scared!" And the two of them just laughed. They pronounced "human" in an exaggerated way which was obviously meant to be derogatory.

"You want to get a spear, little hewmaun?" says Gracie.

"How about make a fire for your stew?" says Mary.

"Is that your mother over there little hewmaun? How could you humiliate her like that and bring shame to your family? The herd can't have little hewmauns running around now can it? Maybe you should be chased away!" says Gracie.

The two of them continued to taunt Bobby. His mother only sat there looking horrified.

Finally, the receptionist opened the door.

"The doctor will see you now, Mrs. Aardvark. Bring your hew- er I mean son and go into room number two."

Bobby darted into the examining room. His mother came up from behind looking dejected.

"Mom, why did they say those things about me? I wouldn't hurt anyone!"

"Bobby, humans hate aardvarks. It's just that simple. It's been written in the Great Book of Aardvark History for ages! You should know that! Haven't you learned anything in school?"

"I never saw anyone hunt aardvarks."

"Now stop it Bobby! You're not human! You're an aardvark!"

"But Mom, I'm not!"

"Shush now! Do you want to get us thrown out of the herd? Do you want us to lose our nice house? Do you?"

"No, Mom."

"Then we'll have no more talk of this human thing!"

With that the doctor breezed in with a folder, presumably with Bobby's records.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Aardvark. Now what seems to be the problem?"

"It's my son, doctor. He's been very anxious lately; I think he's having a lot of pressure at school."

"The receptionist said something about Bobby saying he was human. Is that true?"

"No, doctor, he's just anxious. And he felt sick this morning. He wouldn't eat any bugs."

"There seemed to be quite a commotion in the waiting area. The receptionist wouldn't have a reason to lie. Is there something you're not telling me?"

"No Doctor. In fact, Bobby has been feeling quite a bit better in the last little while. I think we don't need to see you right now. We'll just leave."

Mrs. Aardvark got up to leave, but the doctor held up his paw to signal her to stop. "Please wait Mrs. Aardvark. Don't leave, sit down. We need to get to the bottom of this. If the receptionist was lying, I will fire her. If not, we will need to address Bobby's delusion."

Turning to Bobby the doctor said "Well, what is it Bobby? Are you a human? Are you getting a taste for aardvark stew?"

"No Doctor! I wouldn't hurt any aardvarks!"

"So you admit that you're a human?"

"NO! I mean yes, that is..." Then Bobby just brakes down and sobs.

"Well that seems to answer the question. Really Mrs. Aardvark, you shouldn't have tried to conceal Bobby's perverted delusion. That reflects very badly on your family in the herd! I will have to make a report of this."

"Please Doctor no!" cries Mrs. Aardvark.

"I'm afraid my paws are tied, Mrs. Aardvark. I must make a report. But it's really not all that bad. There is a hope to save Bobby, but he will have to go to reorientation, of course. After that we'll have an evaluation to see what needs to be done from there."

"What could happen then, doctor?" asks Mrs. Aardvark.

"That depends entirely on Bobby, here. If he takes to reorientation well, he could resume his place in the herd. Otherwise he would have to be chased away. We can't have any humans in our midst that would spear us in the middle of the night, now can we?"

"But I've never done anything like that!" wails Bobby.

"But it doesn't mean that you wouldn't! These things can get ugly quickly. We've all heard the stories in the Great Book. We know how deceitful humans can be! And if you keep saying you're a human then we will have to chase you off! And your family would lose their standing in the herd and have to be chased off too because they let you make these horrible choices!"

"But I didn't choose to be human! I didn't choose to become an aardvark! I don't want to be here! I want to go to my real home!" yelled Bobby.

"Bobby, be quiet! You're going to get us chased out of the herd! Please Doctor, is there any other way?" says Mrs. Aardvark.

"Obviously, Bobby is very disturbed and upset right now. I will prescribe something that will calm him down and I'll give him a shot before you leave so that he can get some rest. But tomorrow, he'll have to start reorientation."

"Thank you Doctor," says Mrs. Aardvark.

"I don't want a shot!" said Bobby.

"Quiet Bobby, the good doctor is trying to help us. Now you just take the shot and be quiet about it!"

The doctor rose from his desk and went to the door and spoke quietly to his nurse. The doctor then turned to Bobby, "Now Bobby you really have to do some grown up aardvark things right now. But you have brought this on yourself. I don't know what sort of crowd you've been hanging around with, but we need to know if you've been influenced in any way. Has anyone tried to convince you that you are human?"

"No, Doctor." says Bobby.

"Are you sure? It's very important. Don't try to protect anyone. They wouldn't protect you."

"No Doctor, really. No one."

"So, Bobby, why do you think that you are human?"

Bobby sobs "I don't remember any of this. I don't remember growing up as an aardvark. I remember being human. I had human parents. I don't like having my nose stick out from my face"

"So how did you get here, Bobby?"

"I don't know, I went to bed and there was a storm and I woke up here."

"Well if you woke up here, what do you think happened to the real Bobby Aardvark?"

"I don't know. Maybe he took my place in my world, I don't know. I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to him or anyone. When I lived with my human parents we never hunted aardvarks, we never hunted anyone with spears. I only saw aardvarks in the zoo."

"Is that where your human tribe kept the aardvarks before they cooked them?"

"No! They don't cook aardvarks at the zoo!"

"Well where do you cook them?"

"I don't eat aardvark; I've never eaten an aardvark!"

"All right, Bobby, I believe you." the doctor said, not really believing Bobby.

The doctor turned to Bobby's mother "Mrs. Aardvark, in my professional opinion, Bobby is obviously extremely delusional and is obsessed with killing aardvarks. He needs intervention immediately. This is the only way to help him return to the way of the herd."

The nurse came back with a syringe and handed it to the doctor.

"All right, now, Bobby, I'm going to give you a shot and it will help relax you. Then tomorrow your parents will start giving you the pills I have prescribed which will help you adjust and forget all this human foolishness. Then you'll spend a few days at reorientation. Think of it as a holiday away from school. Then we'll talk again."

The doctor gave Bobby the shot in his arm. Bobby has never liked shots and he doesn't like this one. It burns after the Doctor pushed the syringe. All of a sudden Bobby feels dizzy and sick. "I have to sit down, I think I'm going to throw up." Bobby says.

"Sit in the chair, Bobby. It's normal for the shot to make you feel this way. Here is a pan for you to use if you throw up."

Bobby sits down in a heap in the chair completely disoriented.

"Let him rest for a few minutes before you take him home, Mrs. Aardvark."

"Yes, Doctor, thank you."

"You're welcome, Mrs. Aardvark. We'll see Bobby back here in a few days."

"Yes Doctor. What do I tell my husband?"

"Tell him the truth. Bobby has fallen into the wrong crowd and taken up this terrible perversion and needs to be cured. When he is cured, everything will go back to normal."

"Yes Doctor."

"Very good, Mrs. Aardvark, good day." The doctor left and Mrs. Aardvark sat next to Bobby holding his paw.

Bobby just sat there with a dazed look on his face. After a few minutes, Mrs. Aardvark said "Come along Bobby. I have to get this prescription filled and start supper. Your father will be home soon and he and I need to talk."

Mrs. Aardvark pulled Bobby's paw and he stood up and wobbled to his feet. Mrs. Aardvark left the office pulling Bobby along like a child pulling along a toy. Bobby followed mechanically, his tail limp and dragging on the ground. She put him in the car and went and filled the prescription and took Bobby home.

Back home

When they got home, Mrs. Aardvark put Bobby to bed and he quickly fell asleep. He was awakened several hours later, groggy and disoriented, to the sounds of his parents arguing. He heard them blaming each other and each other's families for Bobby's "disgusting lifestyle choice".

"Remember when your uncle got chased out?" yelled his father.

"Don't bring Charles into this that was a very long time ago!" said his mother, starting to cry.

"Well, remember after they chased him out, his family was thrown into the street. They had to beg for food and they never got their family accepted by the herd! Do you want this to happen to us because of that little whelp?"

"John! Stop it! He's our son!"

"I don't care! I've worked too damn hard to get where I am and I won't have it threatened by a herd hating aardvark!"

"He never said he hates the herd!"

"Well when he came out telling everyone that he was a hewmaun he mays as well picked up a spear and stabbed me in the heart! He stopped being my son then! This is not the way aardvark society runs! We can't go against the herd! We'll end up in the street like your uncle's family!"

"John, please stop!"

Bobby hid under the covers pretending to be asleep. His father bursts into his room in a furious mood. "Listen here! You will stop all this nonsense about being a hewmaun! You are very close to being chased off. No child of mine is going to bring shame to my family about pretending to be the most disgusting creature in all the world, a hewmaun!"

"But dad..."

"Don't talk back to me! I've had it with you! Your mother coddles you too much. From now on I'm taking control and you will do exactly what I tell you to. Tomorrow you're going to go to reorientation, you're going to get a passing grade or I'll be at the head of the mob that chases you out of here! I have worked all my life to get where I am today and I will not have that threatened by the likes of you! You'll never speak about being hewmaun again or I'll beat the living daylights out of you!"

Bobby's father left, slamming the door behind him. Bobby heard his parents fight some more and heard more slamming of doors. Then it became quiet in the house. Very, very quiet. Bobby tossed and turned all night.

The morning of re-orientation

The next morning Bobby was awakened by his father while it is still dark. "Get up! It's time to get ready for your reorientation. Get dressed and be in the dining room in five minutes."

Bobby struggled to get out of the clothes he slept in and put on clean clothes. He wobbled into the dining room and his father was waiting for him. His mother was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's mom?" Bobby asks.

"She went to her sister's house. You and I will be aardvarking together for now. Now sit down and eat your breakfast. It's healthy for you and will give you strength. Don't forget the pill the doctor prescribed for you. I've set it next to your bowl."

Bobby sits down at his place and is horrified that the bowl was filled with ants and other bugs.

"Dad, I can't eat this! I don't eat bugs!"

"You will eat it! That is what aardvarks eat! Now you just aardvark up and do it. You are an aardvark! Aardvarks eat ants and bugs! Now you eat that right now!"

Bobby looks at the bowl of bugs, some of them still squirming.

"I can't!"

"Dammit Bobby! It's shameful enough that a child of mine has to go to re-orientation, but I will not have you start off with those disgusting hewmaun ideas! I don't know who you've been hanging around with, but if I ever find out, I'll be the first one to chase them out and rip up their family's house! They've taken away my son and turned you into a herd-hating, aardvark-killing HEWMAUN! Now eat your food!"

Bobby looks at the bowl "There's no spoon."

"For what?" asks his father.

"To eat with. I need a spoon."

"That's hewmaun talk! Use your tongue like all aardvarks do! Take your pill first. The prescription says it should be taken before eating."

Bobby picks up the pill and sees that there is a glass of brown looking liquid next to his bowl.

"What is this stuff?"

"Bug juice. You like it. You've always liked it. This is what real aardvarks drink!"

"What's in it?"

"Bugs! Why do you think it's called bug juice?"

Bobby takes the pill and puts it in his mouth. The pill is bitter and sticks to his tongue. He attempts to put the glass to his mouth and his father yells.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to drink!"

"Use your tongue like an aardvark!"

"How?"

"Dammit, it's like you're two years old again! Stop all this hewmaun foolishness! Put your tongue in the glass and pull it back out!"

Bobby tries to lick the juice out of the glass with his tongue. It makes a mess of the table and his face. The juice that he does slurp up is slimy and sour. Combined with the pill it makes him gag.

"Swallow it" demands his father.

Bobby swallows and it makes a lump in his throat.

"Now eat some bugs."

"Do I have to? I'm not really hungry."

"Eat them. Eat them now!"

Bobby tried again to use his tongue to dip into the bowl of insects. His tongue came back into his mouth covered in bugs. He tried chewing and felt the bugs crunch in his teeth and it tasted as sour as the bug juice. He tried swallowing again and it stuck in his throat. Bobby tried to relax and think of something else. He imagined eating a hamburger and French fries, his favorite food. He managed to swallow but it made him nauseated.

"Please Dad, I'm not really hungry anymore," he pleaded.

Disgustedly his dad said, "Oh, all right. Go get in the car. It's time to go."

At re-orientation

Bobby and his father rode in silence as his father drove through a more rural section of the city. They turned into a side rode and then drove up an access road to a farm. His father pulled up to the farm house and stopped. He turned to Bobby "Don't make trouble here. If you start spouting your hewmaun garbage you'll be punished, hard. Just keep your mouth shut and listen. I'll get a report of how you do tonight when I pick you up."

"Where do I go?"

"Just go up to the door and knock. They know you're coming. Now get out, I'm late for work."

Bobby gets out of the car and his father drives away in a cloud of dust. Bobby feels very lonely. He looks around the farm then goes up to the door of the farmhouse and knocks. After a short time, the door opens and a large aardvark looks down at Bobby.

"And who are you?" says the aardvark.

"I'm Bobby."

"Bobby who?"

"Bobby Aardvark."

"Oh, yes, I was expecting you. Come in." The large aardvark opens the door and Bobby steps in.

"I'm Chad. The kitchen is in the back. Go back there and sit down at the table, Bobby, and we'll have a little talk."

In the middle of the kitchen is a table with a red and white checkered tablecloth. It reminds Bobby of his home, his human home, and the sight of it makes him homesick and sad.

As Bobby sits down, the large aardvark enters "Do you know why you are here, Bobby?"

"Not completely, sir."

"Well tell me why you think you are here."

"My doctor said I had to come here," says Bobby. He remembers his father's admonition not to say too much.

"Now why would your doctor send you here? It's not cheap to come here you know! You're costing your family a whole lot of ants to come here. Are you sick or something?"

"He said I was confused."

"Confused about what?"

"About being an aardvark."

"So tell me Bobby, are you confused about being an aardvark?"

Bobby says nothing. He is as confused and starts to be embarrassed by the imposing aardvark's questions.

"Look at me and give me an answer, Bobby. Are you confused?" says Chad forcefully.

"Yes," says Bobby in almost a whisper.

"Good, Bobby! That's good! That means that there's hope for you!"

Bobby remains silent.

"Now, Bobby, in order for the herd to survive, we all have to stick together! You remember learning your stick together songs when you were little?"

"I think I may have forgotten them. It's been a long time." Bobby lies, not wanting anyone to get mad at him anymore.

"How about 'Herds are Hope?'"

"No."

"Well, no matter. We'll be refreshing your memory. Now, Bobby without the herd no one would be safe! We all have to take care of each other. Now that means that we all have to point the same way, and when we have problems we work together to fix them. That's why you are here, Bobby. You have a problem and you're here to get it fixed. So, Bobby, are you a hewmaun?"

"I don't know. I know I look like an aardvark. And everyone says I'm an aardvark. But I just don't know."

"Why don't you know, Bobby?"

"I don't remember any of this. I don't remember ever being here. The only thing I remember is being a boy. A human boy."

"Hewmauns live in caves, Bobby. Did you live in a cave?"

"No, I lived in a house."

"What sort of house, Bobby?" asked Chad.

"It was kind of like the one I live in now. I had a bedroom and my parents had a room. But my house was painted green and brown. The one I live in now is red."

"And did you go to school too with these hewmauns?"

"Yeah, but I don't like school very much."

"That's not the way hewmauns act, Bobby. They don't live in houses. They live in caves and they hunt aardvarks. They are disgusting, terrifying creatures and have to be avoided at all costs. You should know that much."

"I've never lived in a cave. I live in a house. And I told you, I never would hurt anyone," protests Bobby.

"This is worse than I thought. Now Bobby, who have you been herding with? Who put these evil thoughts into your head?"

"No one! I don't remember!"

"So you admit that someone gave you these ideas?"

"No, I don't know anyone here. I've never been here before. No one talked to me!" Bobby protests.

"This is very serious Bobby! Now you tell me who you know!"

"I tell you I DON'T KNOW! I don't remember!"

The aardvarks voice gets louder. "Bobby! I can't help you unless you help me. Now you start talking or I'm going to have to do things I don't like to do to convince you to talk! We have to stamp out this hewmaun menace for the good of the herd! Now tell me!"

"I can't"

"Can't or won't Bobby! Can't or won't!"

Bobby brakes down and cries.

"Your tears won't save you! I'm from the Ministry of Health and we are responsible for the health of the herd. You are endangering that health and safety by protecting your hewmaun conspirators!" He slams his paw on the table in front of Bobby, making Bobby jump. Bobby doesn't know if the big aardvark is going to hit him. Bobby screams and tries to run away from the aardvark but only gets a few steps away before the bigger aardvark grabs his arm.

"Oh no you don't. You're not going anywhere! You're going to stay here with me until we get some answers!" The large aardvark picks him up and puts him back in the chair. Bobby, cries and sobbing lays his head on the table.

"Now Bobby, I don't want to be mean to you, but you brought this on yourself.

Bobby doesn't understand why this aardvark is yelling at him. He didn't think he did anything wrong. But try as he might he knows he isn't an aardvark. He is a boy, a human boy!

"Now Bobby we're going to have to do some things which will help you get better"

"But I'm not sick!"

"Yes you are Bobby! Yes, you are! You have that disgusting hewmaun look in your eye. You almost smell hewmaun!"

Bobby doesn't know what he means. He just feels he looks like he always looks, and he doesn't know he even smells.

"Now Bobby, come with me."

Chad went and opened a door in the kitchen and lead Bobby downstairs to the basement. It was dank and poorly lit. In the corner of the basement there was a large metal cage like you would hold a large dog in. Chad lead Bobby over to the cage. "Get in" said Chad menacingly.

"What?" replied Bobby incredulous.

"I said get in!" Chad reached down and grabbed Bobby's arm and thrusts Bobby into the cage and closed and locked the door. "Why am I in here?" cried Bobby

"You are confused, Bobby. You need to stop all this hewmaun nonsense. This is the way to put you back on the right path and bring you back into the herd. The songs you learned in kindergarten are more than tunes. They are the truth. You learned them so that you could be a good member of the herd. They were supposed to keep you on the right path. For some reason, you have turned away from the path of the herd, and I'm here to set you right. Now sing me the songs, Bobby, sing the songs of the herd. Try "Herd is Hope". It's for you own good."

"But I never learned any songs about any herd. I don't remember them. All that I can sing are 'The Wheels on the bus go round and round' and stuff like that."

"You've really fallen for all this hewmaun manure! Pretending not to be an aardvark and saying you forgot the songs of the herd? This will be difficult for you, I'm afraid."

"But I didn't forget! I've never even heard of 'Herds of Hope'!"

"It's "Herd is Hope"', Bobby. You need to learn it again! And you will! This cage will help you concentrate on the words. I'll be back down later to see how you are doing."

Chad then turned and went up the stairs. As he went up the stairs switched off the light and plunged Bobby into darkness. Bobby wasn't particularly afraid of the dark, but usually it was in the safety of his room with his parents nearby. This time the dark seemed to envelope him. Along with the dankness of the basement, it felt almost tangible. Something skittered in the darkness. He huddled in the corner of the cage.

All of a sudden, music started playing. Loud music! It hurt his sensitive aardvark ears.

"Herd is hope and

Herd is health and

Herd is safety to-oo

Herd will help you

Herd will save you

All you need to do-oo

Join in and be o-one with us

Safety in numbers save us all

Be one with us and we

Will be ever stronger"

The same song over and over, the same words, and the volume was so high it hurt. It was repeated over and over again and so loud poor Bobby couldn't think.

After a time, a cartoon was flashed on the wall. Since Bobby was in darkness the picture was almost blinding. The music never stopped. The cartoon was of a herd of aardvarks marching in step. Then it switched to a picture of a disheveled and dirty aardvark not paying attention to anything. The cartoon showed the disheveled aardvark running into the herd and scattering them.

Then, while the herd was disorganized, several humans dressed as cavemen came running at the herd, spears over their heads yelling and screaming. The humans then drove their spears through the aardvarks and carried them off impaled on the spears. Even though they had been speared, the aardvarks were still alive and struggling. Then the humans threw the aardvarks, still squirming on the spears, into a big pot of boiling water over a fire. The humans looked at the pot hungrily.

The cartoon repeated over and over again too. Bobby closed his eyes, but the music kept reminding him of what he has seen. He couldn't think of anything else except the spearing and the stewing.

Then, the song and cartoon then changed. It was as loud, and as gruesome as the last cartoon. Bobby put his paws over his ears and shut his eyes tightly trying to keep the images out.

A short time later Chad came downstairs, walked over to the cage and shut off the music.

"Take your paws away from your ears, and open your eyes, Bobby."

"I don't want to. I don't like what I'm seeing or hearing!"

"Ok, Bobby, I did warn you."

Then Chad reached over to the wall and pressed a button. All of a sudden Bobby received an electrical shock through the bars of the cage. He started screaming "Stop it! Stop it! Make it stop!!"

Chad took his finger off the button and the electricity stopped.

"Don't cover your eyes or ears again, Bobby. I will shock you harder the next time I see you doing that."

"NO! Please don't!"

"Watch the cartoons, Bobby, they're for your own good."

"Ok, all right, I'll watch them."

"Good, now pay attention!"

The "reorientation" went on for hours. Finally, the noise stopped, and Bobby's ears were ringing.

Chad looked into the cage "Do you want some lunch, Bobby?"

"I'm very thirsty, I would like a drink of water."

"Only if you have some lunch first. You must eat."

"If it's ants I'd rather not, they make me sick."

"That's hewmaun talk Bobby. Ants and bugs make you big and strong. You'll learn that in the afternoons training."

"There's more of this? I thought I was done."

"No, Bobby, you're not done until I say you are done and I don't see you being done any time soon."

"No, please, I can't take this any longer!"

"Bobby, this is the easy path. The doctor took pity on you since you are so young. He didn't think that you needed harsh treatment, but if I think that this isn't going well, I'll have to be more aggressive."

"Please no!"

"Come up and have some lunch. Remember, ants make you big and strong!"

"Ok"

Chad lead Bobby up the stairs and set him down at the kitchen table. In front of him was a plate of brown mush. Upon closer inspection Bobby realized that is it a plate of ants and bugs.

"Eat up! You must be famished!" says Chad.

"Could I have my water now, please?"

"Ants first, Bobby, there's juice in the ants if you chew them so you may not need water right away."

"Could I have a fork?"

"No forks. Use your tongue. Like an aardvark. You know this would be a lot easier for you if you would just aardvark-up and forget all this hewmaun nonsense."

Bobby just looks at his plate of ants.

Fortunately, they weren't squirming. "Maybe they came from the supermarket that way?" He thinks.

Bobby was very thirsty and he would do just about anything to have a drink. So he bent down and stuck his tongue out and onto the plate. His aardvark tongue was naturally sticky, and it instantly became covered in ants and bugs. He pulled his tongue back into his mouth and tried to scrape them off his tongue with his teeth and started chewing.

The ants tasted disgusting to Bobby, and just as happened in the morning with his father, he could not bring himself to swallow. Chad just glared at him. Finally, Bobby forced himself to swallow and became instantly nauseous. He could feel his stomach churning.

"Have some more, Bobby," said Chad "They make you big and strong!"

Bobby shook his head no. His mouth fills with bile. He tries to swallow it back down but it is no use. He cannot stop himself and he heaves the contents of his stomach on the floor, he just missing Chad's feet with his vomit.

"BOBBY! What's the matter with you!" yells Chad.

Bobby continues to heave. But since he had had so little to eat, there is nothing much to come up.

Finally, the convulsions stop. Bobby gasps "I'm sorry, I can't do it. I can't eat ants."

"You are wasting perfectly good food."

"Please can I have some water?"

"First, clean up this mess." Chad brings over a wastebasket and a roll of paper towels and drops them on the floor next to Bobby.

Bobby got off the chair and knelt down and unrolled a length of paper towels and put them on the mess. The vomit was quickly absorbed by the paper and when Bobby picked it up, it covered his paws in the goo. He almost starts convulsing again from the stench. He never had to do this before. The few times in the past that he threw up, he managed to make it to the bathroom and his mother would hold his head as he vomited. And then he would be given water to wash his mouth out with and hugged and put into bed. He longed to be back with his parents once again. And the thought of his lost home and family made him start weeping.

"What are you crying about, Bobby?"

"Nothing." He says through his tears.

"Come on, there must be something that you're crying about. What is it?"

"I miss my family. My mom would help me when I threw up."

"Your real parents or your pretend hewmaun parents?"

Bobby almost answers his human parents but then realizes the trap that Chad is trying to lure him into.

"My real aardvark parents, Chad."

"Good, Bobby, very good! I think you made some progress just now."

Bobby continues to clean the mess and after a time the wastebasket is full and the floor is clean.

"Ok, Bobby, you can go to the bathroom and wash your paws now. There is a cup in there to rinse your mouth out. Don't drink too much or you'll throw up again."

"Thank you, sir."

Bobby goes to the bathroom and does his business. He washes his hands but cannot get the smell off of them. He drinks a couple of cups of water and remembers what Chad says about drinking too much.

Bobby comes out of the bathroom and Chad is waiting for him by the door.

"Ready for round two?" asks Chad.

"I really don't want to go back into that cage, please, don't make me."

"Bobby, you can go back into the cage by yourself, or I can throw you in there. It's your choice."

"I'll go."

"Good! Now head downstairs and wait for me by the cage. I have to finish my report about this morning's treatment."

"You're making a report?"

"Yes, Bobby. I have to report back to the Ministry of Health about what I do here and also there is a copy for your doctor so he can decide what should be done with you."

Bobby just hung his head in shame. He didn't know what to think. He knew he was not born an aardvark, but there was no way to show them that he was really a human, but not the human that was being shown in the cartoons. He was appalled by the violence that these humans did to the aardvarks.

Bobby slowly descended the stairs and went to the corner of the basement where the cage was and stood outside of it. Being inside the cage is almost suffocated him and the less time he spent in there the better.

After a few minutes, Chad returned to the basement and walked over to the cage.

"Ok, Bobby, get in.

"Couldn't I just stay down here outside the cage and you show me the movies and the music? I promise not to run away or anything. I just don't want to go into the cage."

"I'm sorry, Bobby, but you must go into the cage. Those are the rules."

"Please?"

Chad comes over and stands over Bobby imposingly, "Get in Bobby or I'll throw you in."

Bobby climbs into the cage and Chad closes and locks the door again.

"Remember, don't close your eyes or cover your ears. The music has to be played loud so you don't forget it."

Bobby just hangs his head.

"Do you understand, Bobby?"

"Yes," whispered Bobby.

"I didn't hear you! What did you say?"

"YES!" Bobby yells.

"Good, Bobby. Now I'll be down later for supper and then we'll bed you down for the night."

"Wait! Can't I go home? My parents are waiting for me!"

"I'll call them and tell them that you are here. Based on what I saw this morning; you'll need some very close attention. And that will allow us to get an early start in the morning."

Bobby starts to cry again. His home, even his aardvark home, made him feel safe, and the prospects of having to spend the night in this house is too much.

"I want to go home! I want to go home!" Bobby wails over and over.

"Quiet Bobby! You'll get to go home, but you'll be sleeping over here tonight. That way you'll be able to go home sooner."

Bobby is terrified by the prospect of having to spend any more time in this torture chamber.

"Now be quiet and watch the movie and memorize the songs. Remember they're for your own good and the good of the herd."

And with that Chad left the basement again and then turned off the light. Bobby started wailing again. The music started again with its ear splitting volume. And after a few repetitions another cartoon started. This one was about keeping the herd strong by sharing.

Bobby just stared blankly at the movie and tried to ignore the loud music blaring from the speakers. After a time, he managed to put himself in a kind of trance. He imagined himself back at home with his parents and his friends.

He pretended he was running in the rain and jumping in puddles. He remembered dinners with his family. There were steaming plates full of delicious food. And milk. He remembers milk. He raised the chilled glass to his lips and took a sip. It was so sweet and creamy.

All of a sudden he was jolted back to reality by the silence and darkness, and he realized he was dreaming. He looked at his paws and saw fur instead of skin. And he started to cry again.

Suddenly the lights come on and Chad came down the stairs and looked over at Bobby.

"It's time for supper Bobby. Do you think you are hungry now?"

Bobby stares blankly at the large aardvark "Yes, sir."

Chad comes down into the basement and walks over to the cage and unlocks the door.

"All right, come upstairs and we'll have some supper. I'm counting on you, Bobby, to finish your supper and keep it down. That's what real aardvarks do, you know. Ants are good for us. And when you eat ants, that means you want to be one of the herd. And that is a good thing, Bobby. For you and your family. Remember, if you get chased out, your family will be very humiliated and they could get thrown into the street. This is all on you now, Bobby."

Bobby has never felt such pressure and feels like he is falling apart. He doesn't want to eat ants, but he hasn't eaten anything for days it seems like. And he doesn't want his parents disgraced because of him. Even though they aren't his real parents.

Chad took his captive upstairs and allowed Bobby to go to the bathroom. He drank more water before he came out. His hands still had the stench of his previous vomiting.

Chad was waiting for him as he came out of the bathroom and directed him to the table in the kitchen. He pointed to the chair where Bobby sat at lunch. And like before, there was a plate of ants and bugs and a glass of brown juice.

"Ok, Bobby, here is your supper. After supper you can go relax for a while."

Bobby looks at his plate and has an idea. "Could I have some honey on my ants?"

"Usually honey is for breakfast, Bobby, but I think we can make an exception in this case since you didn't eat any breakfast to speak of."

Chad goes to the cupboard and brings out a honey dispenser and applies a liberal dollop of honey on the plate. "Ok, Bobby, eat up."

Bobby moves his tongue across the plate and scoops up what he hopes is more honey than ants. When he pulls his tongue into his mouth the honey flavor is stronger than the sour taste of the ants. He manages to chew and swallow and his stomach doesn't rebel. So he takes another tongue full and manages to swallow that one too. He continues to eat the rest of the plate without thinking about what he was eating. Toward the end, though, most of the honey is gone and his last mouthful is almost entirely ants but the honey flavor in his mouth allows him to swallow the last mouthful.

"Have some juice, Bobby." Encourages Chad.

"Could I have some honey in the juice too?"

"No, Bobby, it already has sugar in it."

Bobby brings the glass to his face and sticks his tongue in like his father showed him. He can taste the faint sugar taste but it had an overpowering flavor of bugs. He manages to finish half the glass in a similar manner, then puts it down.

"Very good, Bobby! You're going to grow up to be a big, strong aardvark!"

"Can I go home now?"

"No, Bobby, I said you'll be spending the night here. I'll be getting you up early in the morning so we can have more time together. That way you might be able to go home sooner."

Bobby just hung his head and says nothing.

"Ok, Bobby, let's get you bedded down for the evening."

"Ok." Bobby thinks he is going to spend the night in a different room or perhaps on the sofa.

"I'll go get your bedding. You can go downstairs and wait for me."

"Down there?"

"Yes, Bobby, what did you think?"

"I thought I was going to sleep up here tonight."

"No, you'll sleep in the cage tonight."

"Do I have to? I promise not to make any noise."

"No Bobby, noise isn't an issue. The rules say you have to spend all your time in the cage when not eating or going to the bathroom."

Bobby is greatly saddened by this but refuses to cry. He is emotionally and physically exhausted and can't work up the strength.

"Do I have to watch any more movies?"

"No Bobby, the movies are over for the day." Thank goodness, thinks Bobby.

"So go on downstairs and wait for me. Don't go into the cage yet, I'll be putting some bedding down to make it a little more comfortable for you. Also you might want to go to the bathroom one last time. If you want to brush your teeth, there is a new toothbrush on the sink."

Bobby goes into the bathroom and does his business then unwraps the toothbrush. But when he looks, the only toothpaste he can find is meal worm flavored toothpaste. He decides to just rinse his mouth out and brushes his teeth with water.

He comes out of the bathroom and Chad is just coming upstairs.

"Ok, I've got your cage set up. You have a pillow and a blanket in the cage. Come on down and I'll put you in."

Bobby follows Chad down and gets into the cage. The large aardvark closes and locks the door. Chad has put down some bedding on the floor of the cage so it was a little bit softer than sitting on the metal bars has been. Bobby covered himself up and lays his head on the pillow. He stares down his alien snout and feels far, far from home.

"Good night Bobby. Don't let the bed bugs bite!"

"I won't."

"Yes, eat them before they bite!"

Chad goes upstairs and turns off the light. Bobby closes his eyes and tries not to think about the songs that have been drummed into his head, or the images he has been forced to watch. Slowly Bobby drifts off to sleep.

Later, Bobby is roused from his slumber in the middle of the night. The lights are still off and he can see nothing. He hears noises far off outside the house. It sounds like shouting but he can't make out any words.

The shouting and screaming seems to get closer and closer.

Suddenly there was a crashing noise from upstairs. Bobby was terrified. He huddled in the back of the cage. There was terrible shouting and thumping. He heard Chad's voice and suddenly the door to the basement flew open and Chad came tumbling down the stairs. It looked like he had been hit with a spear. He tumbled down to the bottom of the stairs. From the faint illumination from the top of the stairs saw what looked like Chad, someone was covered in blood, with a spear piercing him in the chest.

More noises came from upstairs. There were others in the house. Bobby tried to stifle a scream and huddled in the corner of his cage, hiding under the covers.

Loud footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs. There were incoherent noises. Bobby didn't know what to do. It sounded like more than one person was coming down the stairs! Many!

He could hear them coming closer to the cage. Suddenly there was banging on the cage itself. Bobby started screaming in terror. His blanket was pulled from him. He could see torchlight illuminating the basement. There were people, human people. They were gathered around and banging on the cage. They looked like cavemen. They all had spears. They stuck their spears through the bars of the cage and started poking Bobby. His screams just seemed to make them laugh. The cavemen kept poking him and tried to get him to cry louder.

"All right, guys, that's enough, I think you've made your point," said Chad.

The cavemen pulled back their spears and moved away from the cage, laughing. Bobby, through his terror and tears, finally saw that the cavemen were just aardvarks in caveman outfits. Chad came over and Bobby saw that he was just holding a spear against his chest and that the blood was fake.

The aardvark cavemen went upstairs laughing at Bobby for being such a weakling.

Chad escorted the aardvarks out and closed the door to the house then came downstairs and walked up to the cage and peered in at Bobby.

"What lesson did you just learn tonight, Bobby?"

"I was alone and unprotected."

"Yes, and what does that mean?"

Bobby remembers the movies and songs "I didn't have a herd to help me?"

"Good, Bobby! Very good! Yes, had you been with a herd, the alarm would have been given, and we all would have had a chance to get away. Maybe even chase off a human or two!"

Bobby is still shivering from the terror and says nothing.

"Ok, Bobby, come upstairs and wash up. I'll take your bedding upstairs and you can sleep on the sofa tonight."

"Thank you, Chad."

"You're welcome, Bobby. I think you've learned your lesson. Your mother will pick you up in the morning. I'll be reporting to the ministry and your doctor that can probably let you go back to school."

Chad unlocked the cage and Bobby stumbled upstairs, still terrified from the experience. He went to the bathroom and washed his tear soaked face.

When he came out, Chad offered him the couch and tucked him in.

"Good night, Bobby. I just want to let you know that I didn't want to hurt you but remember that it was for your own good and the good of the herd. When you become a strong aardvark, the herd becomes stronger. There is strength in numbers, and when we all march together, we can do anything."

"I understand."

"Good. Do you have any questions?"

"Yes, Chad. How often do we get invaded by humans?"

"It hasn't happened for a while, not since before I was born. But it doesn't mean that it couldn't happen tomorrow."

"Have you ever seen a human?"

"No Bobby, I've never seen one, but I've never put myself in a position to be seen by one either. I don't want to get speared for real, you know."

"Ok, thanks."

"Good night, Bobby."

"Good night, Chad."

Eventually Bobby drifts off to a fitful sleep punctuated by nightmares of marauding humans and aardvarks being boiled alive.

In the morning, Chad woke Bobby and was once again fed ants and honey. He was able to finish his breakfast without gagging and eventually finished his bug juice as well.

A short while later Bobby's mother came to take him home.

At the door, Chad turned to Bobby and said, "Before you go I want you to do something for me."

"What's that, Chad?"

"Sing 'Herd is Hope' for me."

"I'm not a very good singer."

"Go on, Bobby, it's all right," encouraged his mother.

Bobby felt embarrassed but closed his eyes and started quietly:

"Herd is hope and

Herd is health and

Herd is safety to-oo

Herd will help you

Herd will save you

All you need to do-oo

Join in and be o-one with us

Safety in numbers save us all

Be one with us and we

Will be ever stronger"

Bobby's mother looked pleased and Chad smiled.

"Very good Bobby. I think you will be fine. Just try not to herd around with those other who put these thoughts into your head. And if you do hear anyone talking like they're hewmaun be sure to let your teacher or parents know. We're always on the lookout for trouble makers."

"Yes, Chad, I will."

"We'll be watching you, so be a good little aardvark."

"Yes, sir."

Return to the Doctor's Office

Later that day, Bobby and his mother went back to the doctor's office for a follow up visit.

"And your name?"

"Aardvark, Bobby Aardvark," said Mrs. Aardvark.

"Oh, the little hewmaun," said the receptionist dryly.

"I am not! I'm an aardvark!" yelled Bobby, who didn't want a repeat of their previous visit to the doctor.

The receptionist looked at Bobby disappointedly. "Ok, you don't have to yell. I'll tell the doctor that you are here."

Fortunately, there were no other aardvarks in the reception area and Bobby and his mother sat together waiting.

While they waited, Bobby's mother leaned over and said "Now Bobby remember to tell the doctor that you are all better now. We don't want to be kicked out of the herd and I don't want to see you chased off."

Bobby again felt the pressure of having to say and do things that he found repugnant but did not have the choice to do anything about. He worried that his parents would lose everything that they held dear and he would be chased off alone in the wilderness. And even though he didn't think they were his real parents, he didn't want anyone hurt because of him.

A short time later the receptionist called them into the examination room. As Bobby went past the receptionist he shot her an angry look. She just looked back at him in amused silence.

They waited nervously in the examination room. The doctor finally entered carrying Bobby's file.

The doctor looked at Bobby "Well, Bobby, how do you feel today?"

"All right, I suppose."

"Did you have breakfast this morning?"

"Yes Doctor. A plate of bugs and honey and some bug juice."

"Good. What do bugs do for you?"

"Make me big and strong," said Bobby remembering his lessons and his ears still ringing from the songs of the aardvark herd.

"No more human feelings? You don't think you are a human, do you Bobby?"

"No sir," Bobby said with all the conviction he could muster. He knew it is a lie, but he dared not say anything else.

"Do you feel up to going back to school?"

"I suppose."

"Very good. Mrs. Aardvark, I'll write a note that Bobby will take to school. Please wait in the reception area, and I'll have the receptionist bring it out to you. And Bobby, remember to report anyone trying to convince you that you are human, OK?"

"Yes, Doctor," said Bobby.

"Mrs., Aardvark, I think Bobby is okay now. This is serious business, but I think Bobby is on the right track now. He should be fine."

"Thank you Doctor, I'm very happy to hear that."

They waited anxiously in the reception area, and after a while the receptionist brought a letter out to Bobby's mother.

It said:

This is to certify that the patient, Bobby Aardvark, suffered from severe anti-social and anti-herd behavior. He had delusions of being a human boy-child and believed that he belonged to a tribe of humans not the aardvark herd, and that somehow the real Bobby Aardvark and he had switched places in this imaginary land. According to the patient, this so-called tribe lived very aardvark-like lives and modeled itself very closely after aardvark society. And even though he appeared to be an aardvark in every way possible, he refused to accept that he was an aardvark.

Through benign reparative therapy, Bobby is in remission of these delusions and knows that he is an aardvark, not a human. There is no reason, at this point, for him to be chased out of the herd.

He should be allowed to return to class and observed for continued adherence to aardvark society. He should be encouraged to embrace his true aardvark nature and his position in the herd and to abandon any anti-herd like lifestyle choices. However, should he return to his previous delusions it may be necessary for him to be chased out for the good of the herd and aardvark society.

When they got home, Bobby went to his room and looked again at the stories about living in the aardvark herd. He still couldn't believe all the things that were said about humans and how violent they were.

Later that evening, when Bobby's father returned from work, Mrs. Aardvark handed him the note from the doctor. He read the note and called Bobby to come from his room. Bobby met his parents in the living area of the house.

His father was sitting in a chair obviously made for someone with a tail, as there was a hole in the back. The chair was at the centered on the wall with end tables on either side. The way it was arranged made it look like was approaching a throne.

His mother stood by the chair and they both regarded Bobby darkly.

Bobby's father looked at him for a moment.

"You really are one sick pervert, aren't you?"

"John! Don't use that sort of language in the house. Bobby is our son!"

Bobby was stunned. His real father never spoke to him like that. And always felt that he could turn to either of his parents for any problem he had. Bobby had never been made to feel that he was the problem. This aardvark who claimed to be his father made Bobby feel weak and vulnerable.

Turning to Mrs. Aardvark and throwing down the doctor's letter the adult aardvark said "This is no son of mine, Betty! I don't know where he picked up these disgusting habits, but I won't have it in my house. I will not have my authority questioned in my house. I will not have a pervert in my house. And this sick whelp thinks he can push his disgusting ideas down my throat? I won't have it!"

His father's vehemence frightened Bobby, and turning to Bobby he added "If I ever catch you saying anything about being hewmaun or prancing about in a caveman outfit, I'll be all over you like young ants on an old log! Do you understand me?"

Bobby hung his head in shame.

"Yes father."

"Now, who put this garbage in your head? Was it your friend Harry? I never liked the bend of his nose."

Bobby didn't know what to say.

"Tell me Bobby. You never did anything like this before. Who put you up to it, was it Harry?"

"I don't want to get anyone in trouble." Bobby said, sadly.

His father leaned toward Bobby.

"So it was him! Wait till I tell his father! I don't ever want to see him here again. And don't let me catch you ever talking to him again. He's going to get chased away for sure now."

Bobby didn't know who Harry was, but he hoped that nothing bad would happen to him. He felt sad for getting this unknown aardvark involved. But Bobby had no strength left in him to try to convince anyone that he wasn't an aardvark, least of all this furious aardvark who claimed to be his parent.

His father's eyes held barely concealed rage "Now you go back to your room and don't come out until supper. And after school tomorrow you come straight back here. You're grounded until I say differently. Do you understand me?"

Bobby closed his eyes. "Yes, father."

"Now go. Betty, make sure that he gets an extra helping of ants. I want to make sure he knows who's in charge here, and that it isn't him! I'm the lead aardvark of my house, and I will not have some pervert challenge me."

Betty turned to Mr. Aardvark "Yes, John," she said meekly.

Bobby returned to his room and sat on his bed. It wasn't comfortable since he had to sit on his tail.

Supper was very quiet and Bobby felt both his parent's eyes on him as he ate his plate of steaming ants. Mother took pity on him and put some honey on his ants. It made eating the bugs easier but not by much, and the large tumbler of bug juice almost made him vomit again.

He slept uneasily not knowing what would happen to him next.

At School

Bobby returned to school the next day and gave the note to his teacher. The teacher read the note, looked at Bobby and told him to stand.

"So, Bobby, you think you're a hewmaun?" The class giggled and pointed at him.

"No sir," said Bobby quietly.

"But you used to think that, didn't you," said the teacher, obviously disgusted.

"The doctor said I'm all better now."

"But you do used to think that way, didn't you, Bobby!"

"I don't know what I was thinking, sir," said Bobby wishing he could run away.

"So you don't have a taste for aardvark stew?" The class laughed again.

The teacher got a look of revulsion on his face. "You know, Bobby, I don't know where you got your disgusting ideas from, but let me tell you that I will not tolerate any hewmaun nonsense from the likes of you or any other aardvark! Do you understand me Bobby?"

"Yes sir."

"Sit down."

The teacher turned to the class.

"Let this all be a lesson to you. You all learned your stick together songs. It wasn't a game. It was to protect our way of life! And anyone who doesn't stick with us threatens all that we live for. No one is better than anyone else. That is what you were taught. And if you pretend to be something that you are not, you will be chased away for the good of the herd. Now, hopefully, Bobby here has learned his lesson. You all should learn from him. If you stray, you will be chased away."

The aardvark sitting next to Bobby whispered "What's the matter little hewmaun? Did Mommy take your spears away?"

Bobby ignored him, but the muttering of the class continued.

Word soon got out at school that Bobby thought he was human, and the other aardvarks made fun of him.

Bobby was taunted by the spiteful girl aardvarks with a sing-song, "Bobby's a hewmaun! Bobby's a hewmaun!" They pointed at him and laughed. As he passed by them in the hallway, the girls snickered and said hurtful things just loud enough for him to hear. The teachers saw this, but took no action.

The boy aardvarks in the hallway passed by him and knocked his books out of his hands. When he bent down to pick them up, they kicked him as they went by.

Gym was the worst. The other aardvarks made fun of him as he struggled to get dressed. In addition to having to struggle into his gym uniform, Bobby hated looking at his fur covered body as he undressed. "I'm not an aardvark!" he thought to himself.

One particularly nasty bully was named Jack. He took Bobby's lifestyle choice as a personal affront. Jack and his herd gathered around Bobby as he dressed in his gym clothes. "What's the matter, hewmaun? Isn't your tongue long enough to eat the real juicy ants?" said Jack.

All the other boys laughed. "Maybe you want to spear me and skin me and cook me over a fire for your supper, hewmaun!" Jack approached him menacingly. "Are you aardvark enough to take me on, hewmaun?" With that Jack's herd started chanting, "Hewmaun! Hewmaun!"

"I don't want to fight you, Jack," pleaded Bobby. "Please, just leave me alone."

Jack came closer, his nose almost touching Bobby's. Bobby realized then that aardvarks had very sharp claws, and Jack's claws looked especially sharp and dangerous.

Suddenly, Jack lunged at Bobby. Bobby tried to defend himself, but being unfamiliar with his body, he could not stop Jack's attacks. Jack slashed at him again and again. Bobby's fur gave him some protection, but Jack's claws left long gashes in his skin. All of the other aardvarks gathered around them were yelling and screaming.

The gym teacher came in at that moment and barged his way through the circle. He reached down and separated the two fighters. "All right! What's going on here? Who started this?"

Jack pointed at Bobby. "He did! He said he was a human, and that he was better than me, and he was going to spear me and eat me!"

The gym teacher turned to Bobby. "You know we don't allow bullying at this school! No one is better than anyone else! I won't tolerate that sort of garbage!"

Bobby tried to tell the teacher that he had it all wrong, that Jack had been the aggressor, but the teacher would have none of it. He marched him to the principal's office. The principal looked up from his desk and frowned, "Mr. Raymond, what is the meaning of this? What is going on?"

"This young aardvark started a fight. He said he was better than all of us. He says that he is a human and he's going to spear us all."

Bobby cried out. "That's not true!"

"Are you calling Mr. Raymond a liar, Bobby?"

"No, that's not what I meant!"

"Well did you say you are human?"

"No, but..."

"No buts! Bobby, this is no place to parade your perverted ideas! This is a place of learning, not perversions. Sick excuses for aardvarks like you should be taken out and shot! You are suspended from school for the next ten days! And if I catch you starting fights again, or telling everyone how much better you are than them because you think you're human, I will expel you from school permanently!"

"But Mr. Stevens..."

"Shut up, Bobby! I'm calling your mother right now to come and get you. You sit in that chair outside my office and don't say another word until your mother comes to get you!"

Bobby sat in the chair dejectedly. He could hear Mr. Stevens speaking to his mother "Hello, Mrs. Aardvark? This is Mr. Stevens, the principal of the school. You must come down at once. Your son started a fight with one of the other boys. He said he was better than everyone because he is a human. He told the child that he would spear him and cook him alive and cut him up and put him in a stew... No, Mrs. Aardvark, the other child did nothing to provoke him. Bobby started it. I have Mr. Raymond's word on that. Besides, why would that child make up such an outlandish lie? I have suspended Bobby for the next ten days as a warning. Please know, Mrs. Aardvark, that if Bobby continues to be such a troublemaker, we will have to take much sterner measures... Thank you, Mrs. Aardvark. Good day."

Bobby was horrified. He couldn't imagine why the principal would make up such lies, or not allow him to tell his side of the story. In addition, his body ached from the thrashing he had received from Jack and his wounds were beginning to sting.

Waiting for his mother to arrive was timeless agony. Poor Bobby was terrified of what she might say or do when she got him home, he was worried what additional lies the principal would tell about him. He just wanted to be left alone. He wanted to go back to his home, his real home! He missed his real mother and father! He missed his friends! He even missed his real school!

His mother finally arrived. She shot Bobby an ugly glance and walked into Mr. Stevens' office, and shut the door. Bobby, miserable outside, could hear voices coming from inside, but he couldn't make out the words.

His mother came out after a few interminable minutes. She looked down at him angrily and said gruffly, "Come along, young aardvark!"

The drive home was torture. Bobby's mother didn't say a word all the way home, just kept sneaking glances at him while she drove. When they got home the storm began in earnest. Before he could speak, Mom opened up. "How could you embarrass yourself and your family like that? What has gotten into you? You are not human! You have never been human! You will never be human! Now this foolishness will stop right here, right now! Wait until your father gets home. You'll have a lot of explaining to do! Now go to your room, and don't come out until we call you!" Bobby took, sobbing, himself to his room and closed the door. He lay on his bed and wept into his pillow.

When Father came home that evening, Mother told him that the principal said that their son had started a fight by telling Jack that he was human and that he had threatened to get his human tribe and spear and eat all the aardvarks, starting with Jack.

This made Father furious, and he stormed into Bobby's room prepared give him a severe beating. He bellowed, "I will not have an aardvark of mine bring me and my family humiliation! You are an embarrassment to me, young aardvark, to your mother, and to our families! We could be thrown out of the herd for your perverted thinking!"

Bobby was severely bruised by the slapping around from his father. He tried to hide himself in the corner of his bed, away from his father's rage, but his father, being larger, easily reached him. Bobby wailed with the blows his father rained down on him. His mother covered her ears and ran out of the room.

His father only stopped after he exhausted his rage. He turned away from Bobby and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Bobby lay on his bed, crying. His father bellowed, "Shut up, or I'll come in there and give you more!" Bobby tried to silence his whimpers by burying his head in his pillows. He could not believe the hatred he had seen in his father's eyes. It was as if he was possessed by the anger he held for all things different from what the herd saw as normal. Bobby felt that he had no hope. He was alone in a strange world with no friends or anyone who loved him.

In the storm

Bobby felt that he was somehow responsible for the hatred engendered in others. He couldn't get out of his head the idea that as he was the center of this storm of violence and abuse, somehow he caused it. He thought, "Why do they hate me so much? Just because I'm different from them? I didn't ask to come here, wherever 'here' is. I don't mean them any harm; I never did. I've never seen an aardvark except in the zoo! There has got to be a way out. I have to get out of here. I can't stay here. I'll just get accused of being hewmaun and beaten up. They'll chase me away. They'll turn out my family. I'll leave before that happens. I won't let them chase me out! I'll run away!"

So Bobby made plans and tried to keep silent as his 'parents' yelled and screamed at each other about him. After a time, the house became quiet again and Bobby moved silently out of his bed and crept to the door of his room. He put his ear to the door and heard nothing. He picked up his knapsack and quietly emptied it of its contents. Then, holding the bag against his body, he slowly turned the knob and pulled the door open a crack. He heard nothing coming from the other side of the door. So he opened the door the rest of the way and stepped quietly out of the room and down the hall to the kitchen.

He intended to take some food with him in the pack, but when he looked in the cupboard all he saw was cans of preserved ants and bugs. He decided not to take anything at all and set his pack on the floor next to the cupboard. He made his way to the back door of the house.

He unlocked the latch on the door and slowly turned the knob. But when he tried to open the door, it made a rattling sound which in the silence sounded deafening. And so he stopped, listening for sounds coming from the bedroom. After a few moments, he heard only the sound of his sleeping aardvark parents. So he slowly pulled the door open and made his way outside, pulling the door closed behind him.

He didn't know which way to go. All he knew was that he wanted to get away from this madness. He couldn't spend another day in this hateful place.

Bobby crept out through the silent town. All the houses were dark and no aardvark stirred.

He made his way out of the town and into the surrounding wood. He moved deeper and deeper into the woods. The sound of his movement sounded thunderous in his ears. The light of a dim moon lit his way, but also caused shadows to look like monsters, becoming frightened, he started to move faster and faster through the woods.

All around him he could hear the noises of creatures moving and stalking. The light from the moon became occluded with the clouds of a gathering storm. He stopped to catch his breath. He didn't know which way to go. He felt like he had been wandering the forest for hours.

As Bobby rested against the trunk of a tree, he was startled by the sound of something moving in the branches above him. A huge dark shape was making its way to the trunk of the tree. Bobby panicked and screamed and ran away. He heard the predator leap from the tree and land with a thump near him. Bobby moved as fast as he could. His short aardvark legs didn't seem to move him fast enough, however, and he could hear the predator moving through the thicket, toying with him. Bobby could almost feel the fangs of the predator closing on his neck and he ran faster and faster, not knowing where he was going.

With a flash of lightning and a crack of thunder, the clouds burst open and deluged the forest. The wood was illuminated with flashes of lightning and the thunder was deafening. Behind him he could hear the predator bounding after him, not slowing down because of the storm.

Bobby kept running, drenched from the rain. He climbed a ridge, and at the top he turned and saw the forest illuminated with a brilliant flash of light from a lightning bolt, and in the flash he saw the predator, all dark fur and fangs! Red eyes seemed to burn a hole in Bobby as it saw him at the top of the ridge! The predator bellowed a scream, bounded up the ridge and prepared for its final lunge.

Bobby was frozen with terror. He knew his life was over and he would never live past this moment in time. As the predator crouched for its final leap, a tree next to the predator exploded from a bolt of lightning. The tree shattered from the lightning, and Bobby felt more than heard the sound. The tree toppled on top of the predator, trapping it in its branches, and Bobby was thrown back by the sound of the thunder.

Bobby tumbled down the other side of the ridge. Sliding through the mud, he was pummeled by fallen branches and stumps as he slid. He put his legs out in front of him to try to stop his tumble. Behind him he could hear the bellowing of the predator as it tried to make its way out of the fallen tree.

A house in the woods

Bobby kept running through the woods. The storm was very strong and had turned the ground to mud which was very slippery. Because of his alien body, he could barely stay upright. He stumbled through the rain and came to a clearing. In the middle of the clearing was a house, there were no lights showing in any of the windows. Bobby was weak from exposure and hunger, and he looked at the house as salvation.

He stumbled up to the door and weakly pounded on it. There was no reply, so he pounded again and in a weak voice he said, "Please open up. I'm so frightened and I think something is after me! I just need to rest, please help me!" Then he began to sob and fell down in a heap in front of the door.

Bobby heard stirring in the house, lights came on, and the door was unlatched and opened.

Bobby looked up at a male aardvark in a nightshirt.

"Who are you, and what are you doing here?" said the aardvark.

"Please, sir, I got lost in the woods and then the rain came and I got even more lost and... and..." Bobby broke down in sobs.

"Well, come in, don't stay out there. You'll catch your death of cold."

"Thank you, sir."

"My name is Sam. Sam Dumont. Doctor Sam Dumont."

"Doctor, thank you!" With great effort, Bobby rose and went into the house, and the doctor closed the door behind him. Bobby was a very apprehensive about this doctor after what happened with Doctor Cranston, the Aardvark's family doctor. He wasn't sure if he wouldn't have been better off with the predator in the woods. However, while the other family doctor seemed distant and aloof, this doctor seemed more kindly.

The doctor looked at him and said, looking concerned, "Don't stand there dripping on my floor, son. Take those wet things off and I'll get you a towel and a nightshirt. Just pile your clothes there by the door and we'll wash them in the morning." Bobby struggled to take his clothes off. The rain had made them stick to his fur and his clumsy hands couldn't seem to get a grip on them. Finally, he managed to get them off and put them in a pile near the door.

The inside of Dr. Dumont's house seemed small and consisted mostly of a single main room with a couch by a fireplace, a dining table in the center of the room, and a kitchen area. Beyond the main room there were other doors. Bobby thought that if the doctor lived alone this would be a proper size for him.

The doctor came out with a towel, a blanket, and a nightshirt like his own plain white one. He gave the towel to Bobby, who was now shivering from the cold. He dried himself as best he could, and the doctor helped him into the nightshirt which was too big for Bobby's childlike body, so that it hung loosely on him and covered him like a tent. Then the doctor wrapped the blanket around him and Bobby started to feel warmer.

The doctor directed him to a table in the middle of the room, pulling out a chair for him to sit on. Bobby sat at the table, shivering.

"You sit there and try to get warm. I'll put on some tea to warm you up."

"Please don't put any ants in the tea," asked Bobby.

The doctor hesitated slightly. "Right, no ants. OK, no ants it is."

With that the doctor went over to the kitchen area and puttered around making tea. After a few minutes, he came back to the table and brought two cups of dark steaming liquid. He set one in front of Bobby, then sat down, putting his own cup on the table in front of him.

The doctor put his elbows on the table and looked over at Bobby and asked "So, why are you out on such a night? All good little aardvarks should be home and in bed!"

Bobby was still shivering a bit and put his face over the steaming mug, "I ran away," he admitted.

"Why?" asked the doctor as he poured a dollop of honey into his cup and stirred it. He offered some to Bobby. He nodded and the doctor poured some in Bobby's cup as well.

Bobby started shivering more from fright than cold, as he confessed, "It's my parents. They hate me. So I ran away."

"Nonsense, your parents don't hate you, what happened?" asked Dr. Dumont.

"I told them..."

The doctor stirred his tea for a moment and set his spoon down "Told them what?"

Hanging his head Bobby said in almost a whisper, "I'm not an aardvark..."

The doctor looked somewhat surprised. "What? Of course you're an aardvark! You look just like me, and I'm an aardvark."

Bobby pointed to his heart and said, "On the inside, I'm not truly an aardvark. I don't belong here. I'm a boy. A human boy!"

The doctor turned his head to look at him curiously, "Really? Is that what you think?"

Feeling a little bolder by the doctor's curiosity and by his not being repulsed Bobby said, "Yes, and when I told my parents, they got mad and yelled at me and beat me. They said I'd always been an aardvark. My mother just cried, saying she gave birth to me."

"What makes you think that you're a human?"

"Because I am! I used to live in a house with my mother and father. I didn't have fur and my nose didn't stick out a foot from my face and I had hands, not claws!"

The doctor leaned back in his chair and looked at the ceiling "Hmmm... that's quite a story. How did you end up looking like an aardvark?"

Bobby shook his head and said "I don't know! All I remember is going to sleep in my bed, and there was a storm with a lot of lightning, and I fell asleep and woke up like this."

The doctor could tell that Bobby was getting agitated and so he decided to pack it in for the night. "Well, you can sleep here for the night. In the morning we'll try to get this all straightened out."

Dr. Dumont and Bobby

The doctor laid Bobby on the couch. It was soft and warm, and soon Bobby was asleep. When morning came, Bobby awoke to the sound of the doctor puttering around in the kitchen.

"Good morning! How are you feeling today?" asked the doctor, as he started frying something.

"Still sore from all the falling," Bobby admitted. "What's that smell?"

"Eggs. Eggs without ants or bugs, just eggs. I've also made some tea. Would you like some?"

"Yes, please!" Bobby said enthusiastically.

"Well, come and sit. Eat your food before it gets cold."

Bobby made his way to the table, and the doctor put the plate in front of him.

"Thank you, sir."

"Now tell me more of what happened to you."

Bobby explained about waking up in the wrong body in a strange house in a strange world.

"So why do you think that there is an aardvark Bobby living in your human body?"

"Just a feeling, really. But if I woke up in an aardvark body, what happened to the Bobby that lived in this body? Maybe we just switched places? The thing is, I don't know how to get back to my real self!"

"Have you ever heard of this happening before?"

"No sir, I haven't."

"Well, Bobby, I'm a bit older than you and I've been around the forest a few times and I've heard things, odd things. Stories that are usually used to scare little aardvarks into behaving."

"What kind of stories?"

"Oh, ghost stories mostly, but some of them are quite odd."

"How so?"

"Well, some of them sound something like what you've talked about. I've heard stories of aardvarks all of a sudden saying they're human and having no memory of their true past."

"That sounds a lot like me!"

"I have never met someone such as you. I would like to ask you a few questions, and perhaps do a test or two. Much of my research has centered around the idea of a storm. You say that the last thing you remember as a human was that there was a storm?"

"Yes."

"That is very interesting. Many reports that I have heard about, and aardvarks I've interviewed, have reported being told of a storm triggering their change."

"Have you ever talked to others who have changed?"

"They've always been chased off. The idea of having a human in an aardvark body is revolting to most aardvarks, especially given that humans spear and eat aardvarks!"

"Why do you say that? I've never killed an aardvark. And the only place I've seen such a species is in a zoo. Have you ever seen a human kill an aardvark?"

"No, but that is what everyone believes because that is what everyone has been told. It's in the great book of aardvark history, so it must be true."

"Do you think you could send me back to my own world?"

"I don't know, Bobby, but there is a possibility. I've been studying the storm that causes the change and I think I have a clue."

"What is it?"

"Well, all the reports of the storm say that it was very strong and there was a lot of lightning. I think lightning has something to do with it. My personal theory is that the lightning causes the essence of the soul to become dislodged."

"Dislodged? I don't know what you mean."

"The body is just a vessel. It houses the soul. On rare occasions the vessel can break allowing the soul to escape. It wanders the universe until it finds a vessel that attracts it like a magnet to steel."

"I've never heard of that before!" said Bobby incredulously.

"It's rare. I think maybe your house was struck by lightning and it caused your soul to wander, and it ended up here. And maybe the real Bobby Aardvark took over your vessel, I mean your body."

"Do you think you can switch us back?"

"I've been doing quite a lot of research. And while I can't make lightning, I think I can cause your soul to leave this body by using herbs that I have distilled."

"Can you do it to me?"

"I don't know, Bobby, it would be very dangerous. Wouldn't you feel better going back to your aardvark parents?"

"NO! They aren't my real parents, and they yelled at me and beat me because I caused them embarrassment in the herd."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Bobby. But you must realize that without the herd we could not survive, so everyone must be together on everything. No one can be better than anyone else. So if someone starts saying they're human, for example, then they have to be removed. And their family could be thrown out as troublemakers. We can't have that in society. It would fall apart!"

"Well, I don't want to go back to my aardvark family because, I'm not really an aardvark! I don't want to be part of their old herd!"

"Very well, Bobby. If you like you can stay here for a while, but if you are discovered, I'll have to turn you over."

"Thank you for that. Could I be discovered soon?"

"It could be a few days before the search party comes over this way. I'm at the very edge of the territory so it would take them a while to get here."

"Why are you out this far?"

"Well, let's just say that I'm almost a troublemaker myself. My research into souls and vessels, especially with human aspects, have made me unpopular. So I try not to show my face too often."

"Could I live here with you?"

"I don't think that would be a good idea, Bobby. You could be discovered at any time and that would make trouble for both of us."

"I still don't want to go back to my aardvark home!"

"OK, Bobby, OK. It's all right."

"I want to go back to my real human parents. I want to be in my real human body! I want to go back to where I feel normal again!"

"All right. Just settle down. If you are so insistent, I'll see what I can do, but realize it could be very dangerous. You could find yourself a wandering soul and never find your home."

"It's better than being here in a false home!"

"Very well. I'll have to perform some tests on you and see if I have enough elixir. It is composed of a number of plants and herbs, and some of them are very rare."

"Is there any way I can help?"

"Well, not right now. Let me take inventory first, then we'll see."

"Thank you, Doctor! Thank you so much!"

For the first time in many days, Bobby had a ray of hope of returning to his real body. The doctor started gathering many strange smelling plants from around the area, and often went into the basement for hours at a time. He did not let Bobby come downstairs, saying that there were many delicate instruments and other items that could be easily damaged by a clumsy aardvark. Bobby had to admit that he was still clumsy in his aardvark body, for his tail often caused him to knock over chairs.

After several days, Bobby was growing more anxious by the moment with anticipation of returning to his real body or being discovered by a search party. Finally, the doctor came up from the basement and said, "I think we're almost ready, Bobby. I have finally distilled enough elixir to extract your soul from your body. It should be ready in the morning. Why don't you get a good night's sleep, and we'll begin first thing in the morning?"

"YES! Thank you, Doctor! I can hardly wait!"

"Well, we still have to wait. The last ingredient for the elixir is still being distilled. It won't be ready until then."

"Wow, going back to my home! My real home! My real body!! YIPPEEE!!!!" With that Bobby started jumping up and down and knocked over a couple of chairs and bumped into the table.

"Settle down, Bobby! You're like a drunken aardvark dancing on an anthill. You're making a mess of my home!"

Bobby stopped in his tracks. "Sorry, Doctor, I got carried away."

Bobby and the doctor straightened up the mess, and Bobby got ready for his last night in the aardvark world.

He found it hard to fall asleep. He looked forward to the morning more than he ever had waiting for Christmas, though eventually he did fall into a fitful asleep. After some time, Bobby was awakened by the doctor shaking his shoulder.

In a hoarse whisper the doctor said "Bobby, wake up. Don't say a word. I hear the search party coming. They're still far up on the hill, but they're headed this way. Quickly! Come with me downstairs. I'll lock the door so they can't come in, but they'll break the door down if I don't answer. We must hurry and get you sent back home!"

Bobby jumped up and the doctor led him downstairs to his laboratory.

Story ending 1

As he came down the stairs, Bobby saw that the lab was full of bubbling retorts, beeping boxes, and wires and tubes.

In the middle of the basement there was an operating table. It looked like many others that Bobby had seen when he was in his real human body, but there was a hole in the middle.

"Now get up on the table Bobby."

Bobby struggled up on the table but couldn't lie flat because of his tail.

"Put your tail through the hole, Bobby. It'll allow you to lie flat without discomfort."

Bobby maneuvered his tail into the hole and then it was actually quite comfortable.

The doctor laid a sheet over him. "Are you comfortable?"

"Yes, Doctor, thank you."

"Very good. We must hurry before the search party gets here."

"What will happen to you?"

"If everything works out, when they get here, they should find me with a sleeping aardvark, which is the way you'll look. And hopefully when that aardvark wakes up he'll be the real Bobby Aardvark and very anxious to see his parents and his herd."

"What about me?"

"You, my dear boy, should wake up in your own body." And for the first time the doctor referred to him as what he truly felt he was, a human boy. Not an aardvark. Bobby felt thrilled at the prospect.

"How will I know to go back to my own body?"

"Every soul is bound to its body. Your soul should be drawn to it. It will all take care of itself. But now we must hurry!"

He then brought out the syringe which would send Bobby home.

"This is the formula Bobby. I have distilled it from many years of research. Your essence will be sent back to your true body and the essence of the Bobby Aardvark will be brought back here."

With a melodramatic pause he asked "Are you ready Bobby?"

Bobby looked at the syringe with a mix of awe and terror.

"Will it really send me back to my real body?"

"Yes Bobby, it will"

"I'm ready!"

With that, Dr. Dumont injected Bobby with the elixir of essence transfer.

Bobby could feel himself becoming dizzy and lightheaded. He was glad that he was lying down. Then he felt a feeling of lightness. He felt like he was floating above his body. He seemed to look down on his body and the lab from a great height. Then he felt a great sadness descend over him. He felt sad for leaving his adopted parents and how they seemed to be so embarrassed by his appearance in their son's body. He then started to feel very sleepy. He felt darkness enveloping him. He knew that when he woke up he would be back in his real body and Bobby Aardvark would be back in this body. He gave himself up to the darkness.

After a few moments, Bobby's breathing slowed, then stopped. A short time after that, Bobby's heart stopped. The doctor pressed a stethoscope against Bobby's chest and heard nothing.

Doctor Dumont waited a few minutes looking down at the corpse of the young boy-aardvark that was so very confused. He covered the body with a sheet and returned to his office upstairs and settled in behind his desk. He turned to the phone and called a number. Bobby's aardvark father answered the phone.

"It is over," the doctor said. He could hear Bobby's aardvark mother weeping softly in the background.

"Did he suffer at all?" she asked.

"No, he went peacefully. I made up a story about being discovered by a search party so that he was quite cooperative. He was convinced to the end that he was a human boy and would return to his human body if he just believed hard enough. He thought that there was another Bobby Aardvark somewhere in his human body and that they had switched essences and that somehow they could switch back."

"Did he feel any pain?" asked the father.

"No, the elixir that I gave him put him in a euphoric state and probably made him feel quite relaxed."

Bobby's aardvark father said "Thank you, doctor. Our true son died on that morning he came out thinking he was human. This has been a terribly trying time for us. You have put an end to our suffering."

"I see this type of thing often enough. Certain sick minds become totally delusional in thinking that they are something that they are obviously not. It is harmful for the herd and against all the laws of nature for them to have these beliefs. It is far better that they be put down, rather than to make their families suffer such terrible humiliation."

"Thank you again, Doctor. I will send your final payment in the morning. Will you handle the disposal of the body?" asked Bobby's father.

"Yes, that is all part of the agreement. I will also compose an appropriate story for you to tell the school and his friends."

Bobby's father asked "You mean about his being hunted by humans and eaten?"

"Yes, I will add parts that will make it sound like it was your son. Tell me again the name of the troublemaker he hung around with, and I'll put in locations where the two of them played and the bad habits he gave him. I'll say that he chose to have these feelings and take on the human lifestyle. It will save you from further embarrassment.

"Thank you, Doctor, you have been very helpful," said Bobby's father.

Story ending 2

As he came down the stairs, Bobby saw that the lab was full of bubbling retorts, beeping boxes, and wires and tubes.

In the middle of the basement there was an operating table. It looked like many that Bobby had seen when he was in his real body, but there was a hole in the middle.

"Now get up on the table Bobby."

Bobby struggled up on the table but couldn't lie flat because of his tail.

"Put your tail through the hole, Bobby. It'll allow you to lie flat without discomfort."

Bobby maneuvered his tail into the hole and then it was actually quite comfortable.

The doctor laid a sheet over him. "Are you comfortable?"

"Yes, doctor, thank you."

"Very good. We must hurry before the search party gets here."

"What will happen to you?"

"If everything works out, when they get here, they should find me with a sleeping aardvark, which is the way you'll look. And hopefully when that aardvark wakes up he'll be the real Bobby Aardvark and very anxious to see his parents and his herd."

"What about me?"

"You, my dear boy, should wake up in your own body." And for the first time the doctor referred to him as he truly felt he was, a boy. Not an aardvark. Bobby felt thrilled at the prospect.

"How will I know to go back to my own body?"

"Every soul is bound to its body. Your soul should be drawn to it. It will all take care of itself. But now we must hurry!"

He then brings out the syringe which will send Bobby home.

"This is the formula Bobby. I have distilled it from many years of research. Your essence will be sent back to your true body and the essence of the Bobby Aardvark will be brought back here."

With a melodramatic pause he says "Are you ready Bobby?"

Bobby looks at the syringe with a mix of awe and terror.

"Will it really send me back to my real body?"

"Yes Bobby, it will"

"I'm ready!"

With that, Dr. Dumont injected Bobby with the elixir of essence transfer.

Bobby could feel himself becoming dizzy and lightheaded. He was glad that he was lying down. Then he felt a feeling of lightness. He felt like he was floating above his body. He seemed to look down on his body and the lab from a great height. Then he felt a great sadness descend over him. He felt sad for leaving his adopted parents and how they seemed to be so embarrassed by his appearance in their son's body. He then started to feel very sleepy. He felt darkness enveloping him. He knew that when he woke up he would be back in his body and Bobby Aardvark would be back in this body. He gave himself up to the darkness.

Bobby felt himself drift in the darkness. He was pulled this way and that. The tugging and the drifting seemed to go on forever, or maybe it only lasted a moment. He could not tell.

In the darkness he felt himself pass by another entity. They felt an attraction to each other and touched briefly. They felt an affinity to each other and were comforted. Soon other forces started to pull them apart. They expressed a wordless appreciation to each other, and then they allowed the forces to take them where they would.

Suddenly he felt himself being drawn to a strong locus. He felt like he was accelerating, but to what, he couldn't tell. Then, with a jolt he felt himself back within the physical plane.

There was a voice in the distance that he could barely make out.

"Bobby! Bobby, can you hear me? Bobby! Wake up! Bobby, open your eyes!" said the voice.

"I don't want to, I'm afraid!" he cried.

"What are you afraid of? Bobby, open your eyes!"

"I don't know what I'm going to see, and I'm afraid."

"Bobby Mitchell, you open your eyes this minute and look at me!" All of a sudden Bobby recognized the voice. It was Mom's voice, his real mother's! He tried opening his eyes, but his vision was blurred and he could only make out shapes and colors.

"Mom? Is that you?" he asked weakly.

"Of course it is! Who else would it be?"

After a moment Bobby's vision cleared and he looked around and saw his true mother and father standing over him. He seemed to be in a hospital bed. There were tubes and wires connected to him and beeping boxes. Standing next to his father was someone he didn't recognize, he was an older, kindly-looking man with a doctor's smock.

"MOM! I'M BACK!"

"Doctor, what's he saying? What does he mean, 'I'm back?'"

"He is probably just confused, that's all. It's probably just a byproduct of the drugs we gave him. Bobby, do you know who I am?"

"No. Who are you?"

"I'm your doctor, Doctor Dumont. I've been treating you. Don't you remember?"

"No. I'm so confused! I feel like I've been gone for ages! I wasn't here, but in a terribly different world."

"Where did you go, Bobby?" asked the doctor.

"I..., I was an aardvark."

"I think he's still a bit confused," laughed the doctor. "He'll come out of it in a little while. I've seen this type of thing before."

"Do you think so, doctor?"

"Let's give him some time to recover. He still is probably a bit woozy."

Bobby looked at his arms. They didn't have fur on them! Just good old skin! Then he looked at his hands and curls each finger. He felt his face and his nose. It didn't stick a foot out from his face, but was exactly the size he expected it to be.

"What are you doing, Bobby?" his mother asked.

"I'm making sure I have the right body."

"What a strange thing to say! Why wouldn't you be in your right body?" asked the doctor.

"That's because I wasn't."

His mom said, "Bobby Mitchell, you are a very odd boy sometimes! But I'm glad you're feeling better."

"Yes, Mom! I feel completely normal!"

The doctor then asked "Are you hungry, Bobby?"

"Yes!"

"What would you like to eat?"

"I'd love to have a hamburger and French Fries!"

"Don't you want any ants?" asked his mother.

"ANTS! NO! I hate ants!"

"That's good, because you kept asking for ants to eat, while you were in that semi-conscious state." she said.

"YUCK! Why would I want to eat ants?"

"I don't know. You kept saying that they made you big and strong," said the doctor.

Bobby's parents came over to him and hugged him and his mother started to cry. "Bobby dear we were so worried about you. After the storm you acted so strangely. Lightning struck our house and nearly burned it down. You stumbled about and kept looking for ants to eat. We didn't know what to do!"

His father leaned over to him and hugged him. "Bobby, you are my son and I will always love you no matter what. Don't ever doubt that. But I have to say that eating ants seemed a bit odd! We brought you to Doctor Dumont and he said that he has seen this type of thing before after a lightning strike. Something about personality disruptions."

Doctor Dumont turns to Bobby trying to reassure him "The lightning struck you, Bobby, and gave you quite a jolt! The electricity affected your brain. The medication we gave you finally helped your brain recover, but it took a while. How do you feel now?"

Bobby turned his head to face the physician "I feel so weak! But I'm better now. I felt like I was in a different life. It was full of aardvarks."

Bobby's mother looked at him in surprise "Aardvarks? Bobby, how could you ever be an aardvark?"

"I don't know; I woke up in a very strange place. But now I remember you, Dr. Dumont."

The doctor looked at him "I was in your dream?"

Bobby shook his head "No, I met an aardvark named Dr. Dumont."

The doctor laughed and shook his head "I've never been called an aardvark before, I'm not sure it's a compliment or not. I'll have to think about it and decide," he laughed.

In the days and weeks that followed, Bobby's memory of being an aardvark faded. And the time he spent in the aardvark world became like a nightmare dimly remembered in the morning. He was soon back to playing with his friends, jumping in puddles, and thinking girls were dumb.

But he never, ever, ate another ant, not even on a dare.

And when his school visited the zoo, he refused to go into the aardvark house.

###

Afterword

The "Great Book of Aardvark History" is not, and should not be, construed as any form of religious document. Please, please, please do not read that into this story. My complete intention here is to show that aardvark society is very regimented and the GBoAH is the guide book for that regimentation. Aardvarks, after all are herding animals and the GBoAH helps make strong herds.

The reorientation visited upon Bobby is a form of reparative therapy. And it has been used in the US and other countries. By using aversion training, emesis, electrical shock, and other forms of torture, it is claimed to "train the brain" to suppress same sex or transgender thoughts. Indeed, it is claimed to even "cure" these conditions. This therapy has been discredited by the American Medical Association, the American Psychological Association and many other medical organizations around the world. It has been shown that this form of therapy is nothing more than formalized brutality and causes severe psychological damage, physical harm, and even death. It does not cure anything because there is nothing to cure. It has been outlawed in several states.

I had a very hard time writing the section of the story about Bobby going through reorientation. I find it hard to brutalize even a fictional character. I identify very much with little Bobby and it hurt me to have him experience that.

My humblest apologies, Bobby, I'm glad you are back.

I wrote two endings to this story because often the journey one has on this path results in death and not by our own choice. Each year, in November, there is a memorial called "Transgender Day of Remembrance" or TDoR. In that memorial we recall all of the transgendered people who had been murdered in the previous year. Often the numbers are in the hundreds. And quite often the murder is brutal and vicious. Often if the perpetrator is apprehended, they claim "trans panic" and rarely are the crimes prosecuted as hate crimes and the perpetrator is given a lighter sentence than if he had inflicted his rage on a non-trans person. So yes, in one version of the story, Bobby is executed for his beliefs and his search to become normal.

That is not my preferred ending, but one that begged to be written.

About the author

Sandra Wagner (who is not now, nor ever has been, an aardvark) hails from Chicago, Illinois. While some claim that Chicago is a hotbed of aardvark activity, she has seen none of it.

Having spent her entire career in the software industry, she finds creative outlet in writing fiction, art, theatre, and music. In 2007, in her mid-50's, she successfully made the transition from male to female on the job at a large financial institution and helped them write guidelines for transition for transsexuals and gender variant individuals. She is married to her husband, June, and lives with her extended family. She helps raise her two granddaughters who do not find it odd at all that Grandma Sandy used to be a boy, and actually think it's kind of special.

Sandra Wagner has created and presented a workshop called "Transgender 101 - Trans Information for the Non-Trans Community." That is where she originally came up with the aardvark metaphor.

