What do think's gonna change?
I love hearing your opinions on things
and you have a very good
way of looking at things.
Do you think society is going to change
in a fundamental way
because of this pandemic
and this quarantine?
Yes, I do.
I think there have been lots of downsides
to what we've seen in humanity this year,
but I also think one thing I've enjoyed
is seeing our value system shift.
And so we have stopped
glamorizing and glorifying
things like wealth or celebrity
and all these different things,
that we've entered this moment of complete
eat the rich, drag the celebrities.
And I love going into it every day
just to see whose leaving party it is,
who's been canceled today.
I think that we've
realized that the people
who are important in this world
aren't the ones on thousand
dollar a night balconies
showing off their diamonds.
It's the people who are
the essential workers
and the healthcare workers.
So I think that was a much needed shift
because we were out of control
with the materialism, et cetera.
So I think that that is a good thing.
I also think hand shaking is canceled,
which I'm personally very excited about.
It's something that I
felt was very forced on me
as a human because I have
a lot of male friends,
I man I've only got 12 friends,
there can't be that many,
but I know a lot of men
and I know that a lot
of men have their hands
on their penises whether
or not they need to.
Just sometimes when they're on the phone,
they're having a play, having a fiddle,
having a rearrange, and then
they're shaking your hand
shortly afterwards.
So you have a penile imprint.
No, no, no, my hands,
I want you to see my hands are up here.
No, no.
Done, Conan, it's done.
I can't believe we've put
up with this for so long.
I am furious.
Okay listen, you're mistaken.
I feel as a member of the
male species, sort of,
we've run a few tests and
yes, technically I'm male.
No, we're not touching
our penises all the time.
All the time!
Unless otherwise engaged,
it's on your dick.
(laughing)
You can replace me with another guest.
No, no, no.
Basically you're saying it's why
I had the talk show
desk for so many years.
(laughing)
No, not true.
There's too much shame there.
I think you might be right
about some guys, but yes.
Your face is really red.
(laughing)
That image alone, makes me not want
to shake anybody's hand every again.
It's over.
It's over.
If cancel culture is good for anything,
it's for hand shaking.
