- All right, man, all right,
it's Vandaveon again.
My boy Mike over here.
Man, y'all did a great job, man.
We all fired up
for the show, man.
- That shit was funny,
but that was stupid, though.
- I mean, I'ma tell you
right now,
y'all should still hire us,
though,
'cause I think we got, like,
similar, like, you know,
sense of humor
and all that, man.
And we can enhance your shit,
you know, man?
Like, there was
a scene last night
that we have to talk to y'all
about right now,
'cause, you know what I mean,
sometimes, like--
Okay, you know what it is,
like, slavery...
- That shit is
fucked up, though.
- Is not funny.
Like, it's not funny,
you know what I mean?
But if you can make it funny,
like, you got to make it
real funny.
'Cause, like, when y'all was
the slaves and everything, man,
the slaves kept on getting mad
'cause they wasn't
getting bought, you know?
- That was messed up, man.
- And all the other slaves
would come out and get bought,
and then they'd be like, "Man,
why ain't they buying my ass?"
- That shit's stupid.
- And that ain't funny, man.
- Stupid.
- That ain't funny at all.
I mean, why in the world
would you want to get bought?
- Stupid.
- I don't even understand that,
man.
It don't make any sense, man.
The whole thing
that would be funny
is, like, why?
Like, why is it funny?
Like, why are they
not getting bought?
I'll tell you why they
ain't getting bought.
Tell 'em.
- Nah, man.
- 'Cause they got little dicks!
- Got little dicks.
- They ain't get bought 'cause
they got little dicks, man.
All the other slaves
got big-ass dicks.
And what you have is,
all the women,
like, the dudes
that are buying the slaves
have their wives with them,
and the wives be like,
"I want that one."
- What?
- 'Cause they got bigger dicks.
- Yeah, 'Cause they got
bigger dicks, man.
And they be like,
"I want that one right there.
He got a big dick."
- [laughs]
- Aah!
You know what I'm talking about?
"Give me some bigger dicks."
- Oh, then make it
a gay dude, gay dude.
- No, I'm doing a woman, dawg.
- Yeah, but then
make it a gay dude.
- Oh, yeah, then they should
have a gay dude up in there,
like, a gay dude
from the medieval times.
And he be up in there
talking about,
"I want to buy
those two slaves."
- [laughs]
- "Give me those
big-dicked slaves."
Are you kidding me?
- This nigga's stupid.
- Nigga, that's my shit!
- Nigga, that would be stupid.
- And two dudes
that you all is playing,
they just be stuffing shit,
like, just be like, "I'm gonna
put some stuff in my pants,
make my dick look bigger."
Like, grabbing melons and shit,
and cucumbers.
Like, there be a cucumber farm
over in the side,
and niggas like,
dooba-dooba-dooba,
and they run off, and they go
in the cucumber farm
and grab a cucumber,
and he put the cucumber
down his pants like this, right?
And then he try to pretend
like his dick is big--what?
- The rabbit,
the rabbit.
- Oh, tell 'em, man,
tell 'em the rabbit idea.
- No, you do it.
- No, go on, nigga,
tell 'em.
- You do it, man.
- Tell 'em the rabbit thing.
- You do it.
- All right, man.
So, the rabbit, man,
like, this rabbit gonna come
up on the stage, right?
And the rabbit's like,
"Oh, hop-hop, hop-hop."
And then it gonna be like,
"Nm-nm-nm-nm-nm-nm."
And the nigga's like--
he's standing like this.
"Get off my cucumber dick.
"Get off my cucumber dick.
"Y'all got to get off
my cucumber dick.
Y'all got to get
off my cucumber."
And the lady gonna be like,
"What's wrong with that slave?"
[laughter]
"Ooh, I love his cucumber dick."
- You being stupid
right now.
Oh, the midget,
and the midget
got the big dick.
Midget got the big dick.
- Oh, and the little man
have a big dick.
