BEFORE WE BEGIN WE WANT TO SAY
ON BEHALF OF EVERYBODY HERE WHO
WORKS AT THE SHOW THAT OUR
HEARTS ARE WITH THE PEOPLE OF
THE GULF COAST REGION RIGHT NOW.
WE ARE THINKING OF EVERY ONE OF
YOU, WE ARE WISH YOU ALL THE
BEST.
PLEASE STAY SAFE OUT THERE,
EVERYBODY, WE'RE REALLY, REALLY
THINKING ABOUT YOU.
OF COURSE TONIGHT IS THE FINAL
NIGHT OF THE REPUBLICAN
CONVENTION.
YES, YEAH.
LUCKY AS WELL BECAUSE IT IS VERY
FORTUNATE BECAUSE TRUMP JUST RAN
OUT OF FAMILY MEMBERS WHO ARE
WILLING TO SAY NICE THINGS ABOUT
HIM.
YEAH, MR. PRESIDENT, WHAT ABOUT
YOUR SISTER.
>> PROBABLY BEST, NOT RIGHT NOW.
PART OF ME FEELS LIKE THIS IS
THE LAST DAY OF CAMP, YOU KNOW?
I'M EXCITED TO GO HOME BUT I'M
SAD TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO ALL OF MY
NEW FRIENDS.
YOU KNOW, WE'VE MET SOME GOOD
FRIENDS, THERE WAS DONE ALD JOHN
PRESIDENT GUY, SCREAMING KIM BER
LEIGH GUILFOYLE AND OF COURSE
THE POTENTIALLY COKED UP DON,
JR.
SEE YOU NEXT SUMMER GUYS.
I IMAGINE YOU WERE GLUED TO IT
LAST NIGHT, REG.
>> Reggie: YEAH, I COULDN'T
NOT WATCH IT.
>> James: YOU COULDN'T NOT
WATCH IT.
IT WAS INCREDIBLE.
WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE PART?
>> I LOVED THE, YOU KNOW WHEN
THEY TRANSITION TO ANOTHER THING
AND ST EITHER BLACK OR THERE IS
NOTHING HAPPENING.
THAT IS MY FAVORITE.
>> James: YEAH.
MAY FAVORITE MOMENT WAS
PRESIDENT TRUMP'S
DAUGHTER-IN-LAW LARA TRUMP POKE
LAST NIGHT AND SHE USED A QUOTE
FROM ABRAHAM LINCOLN.
>> ABRAHAM HUNDRED CON ONCE
FAMOUSLY SAID AMERICA WILL FEVER
BE DESTROYED FROM THE OUTSIDE.
IF WE FALTER AND LOSE OUR
FREEDOM IT WILL BE BECAUSE WE
DESTROYED OURSELVES.
>> James: PROFOUND WORDS.
THE ONLY PROBLEM WITH THAT IS
THAT ABRAHAM LINCOLN NEVER SAID
IT.
THEY JUST POUND IT ON A VIRAL
POST ON FACEBOOK, THAT'S TRUE.
SHE THEN WENT ON TO USE ANOTHER
FAMOUS ABRAHAM HUNDRED CON
QUOTE, BE-- EACH OTHER PARTY ON
DUDE.
THE BIG MOMENT WAS MIKE PENCE
OFFICIALLY ACCEPTING HIS
NOMINATION FOR VICE PRESIDENT
AND DURING HIS SPEECH HE TOOK A
SWIPE AT JOE BIDEN.
>> SWE BIDEN WITH DOUBLE DOWN ON
THE VERY POLICIES THAT ARE
LEADING THE VIOLENCE IN
AMERICA'S CITY.
THE HARD TRUTH IS YOU WON'T BE
SAFE IN JOE BIDEN'S AMERICA.
>> James: YOU HEAR THAT GUYS,
YOU HEAR THAT.
WE BETTER VOTE JOE BIDEN OUT OF
THE WHITE HOUSE THIS NOVEMBER.
JUST LOOK AT WHAT HE HAS DONE TO
THIS COUNTRY.
IT IS AMAZING THEY HAVE MANAGED
TO TAKE WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN
PLACES LIKE KENOSHA AND LIKE
YEAH, THAT IS JOE BIDEN'S
AMERICA.
HE IS NOT THE PRESIDENT OF THE
UNITED STATES.
IT HAS BEEN TRUMP FOR FOUR
YEARS.
THAT IS A GLIMPSE.
ST LIKE YOU ARE HUDDLED OVER THE
TOILET, ARE YOU HUDDLED OVER THE
TOILET AT 8 A.M. GOING OH,
THIS-- LUNCH IS TBING TO GIVE ME
FOOD POISONING.
YOU ARE LICK WELLS THAT HE
BREAKFAST, BREAKFAST GAVE YOU
FOOD POISONING.
VICE PRESIDENT PENCE CLOSED HIS
SPEECH BY SAYING THIS.
WE WILL RE-ELECT OUR PRESIDENT.
AND PRINCIPALLED REPUBLICAN
LEADERS ACROSS THE LAND.
AND WITH PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP
IN THE WHITE HOUSE FOR FOUR MORE
YEARS, AND WITH GOD'S HELP, WE
WILL MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN
AGAIN.
>> Reggie: WHAT?
WHAT?
>> James: IT IS ALMOST LIKE
THEY NEVER MADE AMERICA GREAT IN
THE FIRST PLACE.
MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN AGAIN.
IT DOESN'T INSPIRE CONFIDENCE.
IF YOUR FRIEND SAID TO YOU I'M
GETTING MARRIED AGAIN AGAIN, IT
IS LIKE SOUNDS LIKE THAT MIGHT
NOT LAST.
BUT IT WASN'T ALL POLITICIANS
WHO A PERKED ON STAGE LAST
NIGHT.
COUNTRY SINGER TRACE ADKINS
CLOSED THE INNING BY SINGING THE
NATIONAL ANTHEM, HAVE A LOOK.
OH SAY CAN YOU SEE.
♪ BY THE DAWN'S EARLY LIGHT.
♪ BEFORE I SAW THIS I THOUGHT I
HAD BEGUN THROUGH PUBERTY, NOW
I'M NOT SURE.
I CAN'T GO THAT LOW, I CAN'T.
>> James: OH-- I JUST GO
BREATHY.
YOU CAN, YOU CAN GO LOW, REG.
>> Reggie: OH SAY CAN YOU SEE.
>> James: LOOK AT THAT, YOU
COULD BE A TRACE ADKINS
IMPERSONATOR.
>> I CAN'T WAIT.
>> James: HIS AUDIENCE WOULD
LOVE YOU.
>> Reggie: OH MY GOD.
>> James: BUT IT WAS A MOVING
MOMENT.
TRACE ADKINS SANG THE NATIONAL
ANTHEM AT THE VERY SITE THAT
INSPIRED IT TO BE WRITTENMENT
AND WITHOUT BETTER TO DELIVER A
SOLEMN OATH TO THIS COUNTRY'S
HISTORY THAN THE GUY WHO SINGS
THE SONG HONKY-TONK BADONKADONK
WHICH I ONLY LEARNED TODAY IS A
REAL SONG.
HERE'S THE VIDEO.
>>
♪ AT THAT HONKY-TONK
BADONKADONK.
♪ KEEPING BOURBON RHYTHM MADE
YOU WANT TO SWING ALONG.
♪ GOT IT GOING ON.
♪ LIKE HONKY-TONK.
♪ AND WE SHUT MY MOUTH, THEY'RE
OUGHT TO BE A LAW.
♪ GET THE SHERIFF ON THE PHONE.
♪ LORD HAVE PLERSEE.
♪ HOW DID YOU EVEN GET THEM
BRITCHES ON.
>> James: IN YOUR AMERICAN,
WHAT IS THAT?
>> Reggie: SO BADONKADONK IS
LIKE A REALLY QUALITY TUKIS,
LIKE A GREAT TUKIT, LAKE A
REALLY GOOD BUTT.
HONKY-TONK, HAVE I NO IDEA.
I THINK WE'RE HONKIES AND I HAVE
NO IDEA WHAT A TONG IS.
>> James: RIGHT.
>> James: IT IS THE TONG
ASPECT WE ARE STRUGGLING ON,
PLEASE SEND YOUR LETTERS IN.
IS THERE A LINE IN THAT WHERE HE
SAYS SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND SLAP
YOUR GRANDMA?
>> YEAH.
>> James: IS THAT RIGHT, WHAT
IS THE LYRIC.
>> THAT IS WHAT I HEARD.
>> James: WHAT DID HE SAY.
>> SHUT MY MOUTH AND SLAP YOUR
GRANDMA.
>> James: SLAP YOUR GRANDMA.
>> YEAH.
>> James: WELL, I DON'T WANT
TO DO THAT.
TONIGHT OF COURSE PRESIDENT
TRUMP GAVE HIS ACCEPTANCE SPEECH
MAKING A CASE FOR FOUR MORE
YEARS.
HE DID IT IN FRONT OF THE WHITE
HOUSE WHICH IS PERFECT REALLY,
HE IS LITERALLY AN OLD MAN
YELLING AT US FROM HIS LAWNMENT
BY THE WAY DONALD TRUMP'S CASE
FOR FOUR MORE YEARS WAS
BASICALLY, HIS WHOLE SPEECH WAS
BASICALLY PAY NO ATTENTION TO
ANYTHING THAT IS HAPPENING
AROUND YOU.
EVERYTHING IS GREAT.
>> Reggie: SO CLOSE SWRZ
THAT'S A SHAME, I REALLY FELT
LIKE THAT WAS A GOOD ONE.
>> PIE BAD.
>> James: WAS IT YOUR BAD.
>> YEAH, I'M SORRY.
>> James: LOOK WHAT TIM IS
WEARING TODAY.
LOOK AT TIM'S OUTFITMENT I
WALKED PAST TIM TODAY AND I
HEARD HIM TALKING TO SOMEONE
GOING, HE WENT I MEAN WHO
DOESN'T LIKE TIGERS, RIGHT?
THAT'S HONESTLY, HONESTLY
SOMETHING HE SAID.
AND I THOUGHT I WAS LIKE WELL,
ANTELOPES FOR A START, YOU KNOW.
>> Reggie: YEAH, IT'S TRUE,
MOST PREY, MOST TIGER PREY DON'T
LIKE THEM.
>> James: THAT WAS GENUINELY
SOMETHING HE SAID.
>> I MEAN WHO DOESN'T LIKE
TIGERS RIGHT.
>> James: ROY.
>> YEAH, ROY.
>> OH NO!
>> NICE.
>> James: I DIDN'T SEE ANY OF
TRUMP'S SPEECH TONIGHT BUT I
HAVE STILL PREPARED A FORMAL
RESPONSE TO DONALD TRUMP AND
I'VE GOT IT JUST HERE.
NO THANK YOU.
DID YOU GUYS SEE THIS, THE
PRESIDENT IS MAKING AN ODD
REQUEST AHEAD OF HIS FIRST
DEBATE WITH JOE BIDEN NEXT
MONTH.
HE'S CALLING FOR BOTH HIMSELF
AND JOE BIDEN TO SUBMIT TO DRUG
TESTS BEFORE HAND.
YEAH, WHEN DONALD, JR. HEARD
THIS HE WAS LIKE THAT'S NOT FOR
ALL OF US, RIGHT, THAT'S
JUST-- THAT'S JUST, THAT'S JUST
GUYS RUN, RIGHT, CUZ-- GIVE ME A
HEADS UP ON THAT ONE, RIGHT,
DAD?
TRUMP'S RIGHT TO BE SUSPICIOUS
THOUGH, HE IS.
THIS WAS JOE BIDEN JUST LAST
WEEK AT THE DEMOCRATIC
CONVENTION.
AND THIS IS HIM TODAY.
FINALLY, HERE IS AN ODD STORY.
SCIENTISTS HAVE JUST DISCOVERED
THAT BIRDS WHO ARE HIGH ON
OPIOIDS SING SONGS THAT SOUND
LIKE FREE FORM JAZZ.
YEAH.
IN FACT THEY ALSO DISCOVERED
THAT WHEN BIRDS PERFORM IN TINY
LITTLE HATS THEY LOOK COOL.
NOW IS IT ME OR ARE WE THROWING
AROUND THE TERM SCIENTISTS A
LITTLE LOOSELY.
I FEEL LIKE IF YOU ARE A
SCIENTIST RIGHT NOW, YOU HAVE
GOT BIGGER FISH TO FRY, HAVEN'T
YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU WORKING ON, A
VACCINE FOR COVID-19, YES,
THANKS, THANKS, SAME WHACK ABOUT
YOU.
>> I HAVE JUST GIVEN SOME HEROIN
TO SOME BIRDS.
>> IT SOUNDS LIKE THEY'RE
SINGING JAZZ.
(LAUGHTER)
MEANWHILE IF YOU GIVE BIRDS
DOWNERS THEY SOUND LIKE THIS.
>> OH SAY YOU CAN SEE.
