 
A Promised Fate

Book III of The Beautiful Fate Series

A novel

by

Cat Mann

Copyright© 2014 by Cat Mann

Smashwords Edition

http://authorcatmannblog.blogspot.com/

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

First Electronic Edition: 2014

First Paperback Edition: 2015

The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

A Promised Fate: a novel / by Cat Mann-- 1st ed.

Summary: Trust crumbles and promises lose all meaning as Ari comes to grips with his past and the vows made in the past in his name.

Without the support of the following people, this series would have remained a secret: Derek Mann, A & L Mann, my parents, Ron Shutts, Patty Shutts and our families, K.B Maggio Weakly, Theresa Norton Greco, Mrs. Esther Kaplan, my favorite book bloggers who gave me such confidence and pride in my work with their praise. Rachel Harmon. Beta Readers: Lana Hughes, Marie Mann, Melissa Brown, Angie Fairchild, Amber Beaghan, Jenny Moore, Mhairi Ferguson, Chantal Goinet, Tina Burton. My primary sales come from Central Illinois, and I want to thank the community, the unconditional love and support that I receive from family, friends and fans is mind-blowing and surreal. I never knew I was so loved and appreciated. Thank you.

Cover designed by Derek Murphy of Creativindie Covers

Jacket author photo by Jennifer Klitzsch Moore with Moore Memories Photography

This is again in dedication to you. I am so happy.

Table of Contents

Title Page

Praise and Acclaim

Copyright Notice

Dedication

1- Nightmare

2- Her

3- Evil Eye

4-Who Am I

5-The Fourth

6-The Storm

7-Fight

8-Need

9-A Goodbye

10-Spaghetti Sandwich

11-The Future, Setbacks & Proposal

12-Intruder

13-Blame

14-Hot Dog

15-H Word

16-NDA

17-Dinner

18-Breath

19-Blush

20-Gauntlet

21-Battlefield

22-Adonis

23-Clean

24-Gone

25-Hunted

26-Bug

27-Paper

28-Gallo

29-Disappear

30-The Gala

31-Pratice

32-October Seventh

33. Push

About The Author

### I love her and that's the beginning and end of everything.

### \- F. Scott Fitzgerald

### Chapter 1

### Nightmare

The sea was angry. Waves hit the shore with vengeance, one devastating blow after another ripping at the Earth and dragging whatever land it could back for the long return out to deeper waters. The currents churned and white saltwater foam swirled on top of the dark and dangerous tide. Watching from the cliff side above, I tried to keep myself rooted to the ground, but my heavy feet were shoved inexorably forward, forced to carry my unwilling body along the edge of what seemed like the end of the world. Sea spray hissed and then misted the sharp, jagged rocks far below me. Broken and pulverized earth, chipped away with each shuffling step I was forced to take, scattered down the tall, narrow edge of the ridge. A fear unlike any other I had ever felt was lodged deep in my gut and I choked on the impossible-to-swallow heartbeats in my throat.

I have three choices. I can say no and die, I can say yes and die, or I can jump and die.

I will do anything for her. I will do anything for them.

### Chapter 2

### Her

Brilliant rays of morning sunlight slanted in through our bedroom window. Light flickered and danced on the walls and a cool breeze off the sea rustled our curtains. The breeze ebbed and a beam of daylight made a path across the bedroom and rested on her cheek, warming her. Soundlessly, I made my way back to our bed to rejoin her. Taking my eyes away from her is always a struggle. From the moment she came into my world, from my very first glimpse of her, I have been consumed, obsessed and desperately in love.

Her chest rose and fell with gentle breaths. Her lips, so full and so soft, are rose petals. Whenever my lips touch those lips, a sensation consumes me that is unlike anything I have ever experienced.

Sinking back into the bed at her side, the mattress bowed a little with my weight. I contoured my body around her curves and my fingers wound through her dark hair. Long, wavy strands splayed across the white pillowcases. A smile grew on her sleeping face and I could not help myself, I leaned down and kissed the corner of her mouth. She blinked up at me sleepily.

"Good morning, beautiful Ava."

"Mmm." Stretching, she pointed at the face-splitting grin that I couldn't manage to hide, and rested the tip of her finger on my lip. "What is this little smirk of yours all about?"

"You. You were smiling in your sleep. 'Twas a sight to behold."

"Only because I was dreaming about you."

"Is that so?"

"Mmm," her head bobbed in a cute confirming nod.

"Tell me, Ava, please... What was I doing in your dream to make you so happy?"

"I'll show you." She lifted her head up from the pillow and joined her lips with mine. My hand cupped at her nape and I kissed her back. Her mouth opened, allowing my tongue to slip between her rose petal lips. Her hands found their way up my back to my hair, still damp from my shower, and I closed my eyes at her touch. The feelings that she pulls from my body are always powerful and come on fast. My fingers edged up her leg to her inner thigh and the higher they climbed, the hotter our bodies grew and the needier we became. Ava made a little noise of pleasure and blushed at the sound, then pushed herself against me, tugging at the towel that was tightly knotted around my waist. Shifting my body, I pulled her on top of me, straddling her legs over my hips, my hands palming her bottom in a squeeze. We kissed more deeply and my lust and need for her grew until my desire was all-consuming.

Then Ava's muscles tightened, she stilled, her eyes opened wide and after a moment's hesitation, she swiftly moved her hand away from the unconquered knot still securing my towel and onto my chest, pushing me backward, away from her. The passion that had been building between us evaporated in an instant and I looked at her with wounded pride as she promptly moved off my lap.

She nodded in the direction of our bedroom door and my brow furrowed in question until the thunder of Max's quick bare feet smacked against the hardwood floor and echoed down the hallway. Our door came open with a crash and our three-year-old son greeted us with the monster smile that is his stock in trade.

"Hiya, Max!" Ava grinned.

"Hey, Buddy." I grabbed hold of his arms, helped him up into our massive bed and then reached for my glasses and cell phone off my nightstand. Ava rested her hands softly on either side of her growing stomach.

Thumbing through a catalog of early morning messages, a warm crack of a smile pushed up my lips at my latest text.

"Oh! Max! Ari!" Ava cried and grabbed Max's chubby hands, placing them quickly where hers had been. "The baby is moving!"

Max squirmed and his fingers danced on Ava's stomach. She settled his fingers by placing her open palms over his small hands.

"Now wait. Be patient," she told him.

Max held still for as long he could and was rewarded with his first encounter with the baby kicking. He pulled his hand back at the initial shock of the strange meeting but Ava grabbed him again and put his stubby, dimpled fingers back to her stomach.

"Relax and try to feel her kick again." She was excited in sharing the moment with him. Her sea-green eyes twinkled brightly and her ultra-white smile grew bigger and bigger. The baby kicked once more with force and the movement of Ava's belly under their hands made Max's eyes light up with joy. He clapped his hands together happily.

"Talk to the baby, Max. Your voice makes her happy."

"You don't know it's a girl, Ava," I sighed.

"And you don't know it's _not_ a girl."

Tossing my cell aside, I leaned back to watch my wife and son, and smiled with my love for them. At twenty-six weeks along in the pregnancy, Ava's baby bump was hard to hide. Her swollen stomach protruded from her small frame and she had an ever-present glow.

"Are you sure you don't want to find out if we really are having a girl? Just think, I could call the nurse on my way to work, have her pull your chart, and we could know by lunch."

"Ari! We agreed to wait to find out the baby's gender. I want to be surprised. I thought you wanted to be surprised, too."

"I do, I do. But the thought is tempting all the same and the suspense is killing me."

Ava basically ignored my pain and went on to an obviously more pressing matter. "We still need a name," she reminded me for the hundredth time. "We can't have a baby without a name."

"I know," I groaned, "but you don't like any of the ones I've come up with. And I really want Ileana."

"Ileana is a no!" She scolded me for the twentieth time, "and you don't like any of mine either."

"Abraham. Really, Ave?"

Her bottom lip jutted out in a pout.

"Maybe we should let Max decide on the name," I proposed.

Ava tilted her head at the thought and looked down at Max, who was whispering into Ava's belly button. "I am really not wanting a baby named Llama Llama or Sponge Bob or Elmo. Or any of the super heroes, either, Ari. This is important."

"We still have more than three months to decide," I started to say. Then I noticed the stubborn thing that sometimes takes over Ava's face -- a cute curvy line settling in between her brows. "But I promise to work on it with you this weekend. Let's each come up with one name we really like by this evening. I'll pick a girl name and you do a boy. Okay?"

"Deal," she gave a firm nod. "You are coming home early today right? Do you promise?"

"I promise. I'm leaving early and have to make one stop in Beverly Hills. Then I'm all yours."

It was the Fourth of July weekend. I planned to take off early the day before the holiday and I had sworn to Ava not to work all weekend. We had plans with our family all weekend long and I was not going to miss anything. Work and school had already been keeping me away from Max and Ava a bit too much and I knew my long hours spent at _baio_ were getting on Ava's nerves. I knew this because she had said as much several times already in the past two months. Gone were my days of apprenticeship during which I had worked only when Margaux worked. My hours had vastly increased and I had not taken even a Saturday morning off since the new year.

"Good, I cannot wait to just... I dunno... hang out with you!"

"Me too." My lips pressed to the corner or her mouth.

"You were up early this morning." Ava pushed out of bed. "I didn't even hear your alarm go off, that's not like you."

Thoughts of my nightmare flickered and crept back into the corners of my mind.

"Early bird gets the worm?" I teased.

"Yeah, right," Ava gave me a sarcastic laugh with an overly dramatic eye roll and sauntered off to the shower.

I have never been early to anything a day in my life and she knew it. Despite the fact that I had been awake since the pre-dawn hour, I was late to work once again. I threw on my clothes, pausing just a moment to get my cuffs just right, and then, toothbrush still jutting from my mouth, I picked Max up, tossed him over my shoulder and carried him, squealing with delight, off to the kitchen.

Just as we arrived at the refrigerator, there was a rap at the glass door to the back patio. I set Max down on his feet. "Let your Yaya Aggie in, Max?"

He happily flitted in stocking feet across the kitchen floor, slid the lock out of place and let my mom enter our home. She scooped him up in a hug, peppered him with kisses that he wiped off and then she came to my side.

"Hey, Ma," I said with a kiss to her cheek. "What are you doing here this morning?"

"Where is Ava?" Her eyes scanned the kitchen and then out into the living room.

"Shower."

"How is she feeling today?"

"Great. Why do you ask?" I grabbed a yogurt for Max, some fresh blueberries and small glass of milk and then plopped him down at the table for breakfast.

"Eat." I told him sternly and peeled the small plastic dinosaur toy from his sticky fingers.

My mom shook her camera at me. "Ava is twenty-six weeks today! Do you think she is in a good enough mood to let me snap a photo of her and her belly?"

I rubbed my cheek in thought. My mother, Aggie is a photographer and has made my pregnant wife her current project. She was trying to create a pregnancy journal, mapping Ava and the baby's progress. At times Ava cooperated and at others she, well... didn't.

"Ask her after she comes out of the bedroom," I suggested. "She was in a good mood when she woke up and I heard her singing in the shower. That was ten minutes ago though, so no telling how she may be feeling now. The hormone thing, you know." I looked down at my watch. "I have to go, Ma. I'm late." My mother put on her make-a-plan-of-attack face and I headed back up to the bedroom to kiss Ava goodbye.

At our bedroom door, I stopped dead in my tracks. _Lord, she is so beautiful._ _How in God's green world did I get so lucky?_ Ava strolled out of the closet in a flowing summer dress, her baby bump cheerfully on display. The song, "Hello Sunshine" played in the back of my mind.

"You look ravishing," I said with overt awe.

"You too." She pulled at my shirt collar. "No tie today?"

"Damn it!"

Ava laughed at me, walked back in to the closet and grabbed my favorite tie.

"Thanks, Baby. I'll have to put it on in the car. I should have left fifteen minutes ago. I love you. Call me no matter what you may need. I'll be home this afternoon, ready to spend the whole weekend in the sun with you and Max. I can't wait."

"Ok. I love you."

Unable to resist, I kissed her full, pink lips one last time. Then dropped the bomb: "Oh, um, Mom is in the kitchen with Max. She wants a twenty-sixer. Please, please make her happy and just say yes!" I hollered as I practically ran away down the hall and then down the stairwell.

I kissed Max on the head. "Be good for your mom today, please."

He nodded and wrapped his arms around my neck in a hug.

"Ava, _please_!" I heard just before I escaped through the door to the garage, my mom's response to the annoyed groan from Ava. I closed the door to the garage firmly behind me feeling fairly sure one of them would come complaining to me about the other by the end of the day. Both, maybe.

After opening the driver's side door to my car, my grin inched up my face before sliding into the seat.

"Good morning."

"Hey, you! You know you're late, right?" Julia gave a glossy lipped smirk and leaned across the center console for a smacking peck to my stubbly cheek.

"I'm always late. You know that about me."

"I don't get to see you as much as I like anymore. I must have forgotten that particular quirk."

"Where to this time?" The garage door rumbled open and I started the engine.

Julia knows me better than anyone does and she has always made it her business to memorize my schedule. She has been showing up unexpectedly in my car or in my office or outside of one of my classes for as long as we've known one another. If she needs me for something, she always knows how to find me.

"I texted you like three times this morning."

"I got your messages."

"Then why didn't you text me back? I almost came in to get you."

"I was in bed with my wife when you messaged me." I smiled crookedly and she shoved her finger down her throat and made a fake gagging sound.

"Gah! Spare me the details."

"I don't kiss and tell, Jules. You know that. Now, where to this time?"

"I have a summer class. Will you take me to campus? Pretty please?"

I looked at the clock on the dash with a grimace. "Sure. But where is your car?"

"Outta gas."

"What did you do with the money I gave you last week for gas?"

"I spent it." Julia tucked a neat strand of hair behind her ear and I couldn't help but notice her new summer highlights. She looked at me from the corner of her eye and knotted her fingers up in her lap.

"Your hair looks nice."

"Thank you." She began to fidget with a diamond bangle bracelet on her slender wrist that I had given her one year for her birthday. Tucked just underneath her favorite bangle was a small, flesh colored Band-Aid.

"If you needed money for your hair, you could have just asked. You know I can't tell you no."

"I know."

I pulled up to a drive-through coffee place and placed an order with a barista. "May I have a large cup of coffee, black, and one soy, hazelnut macchiato, venti?"

"Have you eaten?"

Julia shook her head no and I added a blueberry scone to the order. I got the change from the twenty I gave the barista and I handed it to Julia with her drink and her scone and then palmed an additional fifty dollars into the pile.

"For gas." I told Julia sternly and she took the money and shoved it into her oversized designer bag.

"Thanks again," she responded over a sip of her drink. "You look tired."

"Uh, yeah, I am actually. I had this messed up nightmare. It scared the shit out of me. Anyway, I didn't sleep much."

"You? A nightmare? Isn't that like Ava's thing?"

"Right, yeah normally."

"So? What was it? Did you dream that you showed up to work in your underwear or something?"

"Not quite, no."

"What, did you dream that zombies were chasing you or something stupid like that?"

"No." I looked at her as if she was a moron and she flipped her hair back out of her eyes.

"Then what was it? You have to tell me. You tell me everything. C'mon!" She pressed.

"I do not tell you everything."

"Whatever, you totally do. So?"

"I um... I did something really bad. Something I regretted. You were there...in the dream."

"Me?" Her pointer finger jabbed lightly into her own chest.

"Yeah, you."

"Oh? What was I doing?"

"I'm not sure. I couldn't tell whose side you were on."

She picked at the corner of the Band-Aid. "I'm on your side, Ari. Always."

Looking back to the road, I coughed to clear my throat and changed the subject. "Are you going to tell me what happened a few nights ago with you and Rory? Where were you, Julia? You can fool him but you can't fool me. What's going on with you?"

This was my third attempt to get her to tell me the details from an incident that had happened a few days earlier. Julia and Rory had had a massive argument that started after he woke in the middle of the night to find her missing. He freaked, thinking something terrible had happened, and called everyone he knew looking for her, but no one had seen her. He had just decided to call the police when she showed back up at home in the wee hours in the morning with some lame excuse about not being able to sleep and taking a long walk up the beach to clear her thoughts. He was upset but in the end she was able to convince him that she was telling the truth. Love will do that--make an obvious lie seem like God's truth. I knew better than to believe her story. Julia and I have a deeply rooted past together and I know her better than most. She has a near crippling fear of darkness and the beach at night isn't a place she would dare venture off to alone.

"I already told you, it was just a walk."

"Whatever. Don't let that shit happen again, Jules." I warned. "Rory was worried sick."

"It was just a walk, Ari." She said louder and rolled her eyes.

"Lie to him, not to me." My teeth clenched down tight and she looked away from me, out of the window.

We arrived at the edge of campus. "Just drop me off here. I can walk the rest of the way."

I glanced down at her tall, strappy sandals.

"You sure?"

"Yes, here is good." She pulled at the door handle before I could come to a complete stop and release the child locks.

"Will you need a ride later?"

"Nah, Rory promised he would pick me up."

"Ok, then, have a good day."

She blew me a kiss from the curb. "Thanks for the ride, Ari. Love ya."

"Sure. Bye, Jules."

### Chapter 3

### Evil Eye

It was half past six by the time I walked into our home from the garage. Earlier than I showed up most days – but very late for this day. I pulled the knot out of my tie as I walked into the kitchen. The refrigerator was open and the only thing visible from the person behind the stainless steel door was a pair of flip flop clad feet.

"Ava," I began my apology, "I am _so_..."

The door closed to reveal my mother holding a watermelon.

"You aren't my wife."

"What gave it away, Ari? The fact that my arms are not covered in tattoos or that I'm not six months pregnant?"

My eyebrow lifted upwards and I opened my mouth, a dozen or so witty replies played at my lips.

"Never mind, don't answer that!" she laughed.

"Where's Ava?"

"She's out by the pool alongside everyone else. You promised that girl you would be home early. We've all been waiting on you. Max has been begging for you!"

"I couldn't get away in time. I tried. My assistant gave me her resignation notice today, she's gone in two weeks and her notice threw everything off and then I was held up in this meeting for marketing. I couldn't skip out on that meeting. They are trying to approve this image of Ava for the show, I really think they are using her to..."

"Fauna quit? My goodness, why?"

"Oh, um, this sounds bad but, I don't know why she quit. She never really said."

"Ava will be happy to hear it at any rate. She never cared for much for that girl..."

"Fauna's okay. I'm actually going to miss her, she does a lot for me. More than she probably should... Anyway, how mad _is_ Ava that I am late?"

Her twisted grimace said it all. I was in trouble.

Turning away from her, I walked back to our bedroom and removed my watch, suit jacket and tie then pulled a velvety _Harry Winston_ box from my pants pocket. I flipped the lid to inspect the simple and delicate diamond evil eye necklace I had had designed for Ava. Ava's wedding ring rested on her dressing table. Her fingers had swollen up just enough within the past few weeks that her ring no longer fit her comfortably. Picking up the ring, I twirled it around my pinkie finger, thinking of the day she said yes, the happiest moment of my life. I strung her ring onto the chain of the new necklace, where it rested nicely against the circling rows of sparkly diamonds. After changing into a pair of shorts, I slipped the necklace and my cell phone into my pocket and headed to the deck.

Music streamed through the speakers and the evening summer sun was still warm in the sky. My dad and uncle manned the grill alongside Nick and Roar. My mother and my Aunt Gianna talked with one another at the long harvest table that was just large enough to seat all of us. Beside the pool, in a row of lounge chairs, sat Collin, August, Julia, Lauren and Luke. Lauren looked up and sent a little wave. As soon as August spotted me, he shot me a nasty look and angrily pushed his hot pink-streaked hair out of his eyes with his pinkie finger. Ava obviously had spent her afternoon complaining to him about me. Finally, my eyes rested on her.

She hadn't noticed me yet and I smiled automatically as I watched her. She had on a bikini and had her hair piled up on top of her head. Her swollen baby belly was round, and shiny with oily sunscreen. Max sat in Ava's lounge chair at her hip. He had a matchbox car and treated Ava's stomach as if it were a mountain. He drove the car all the way up to her belly button and then let it fly down her stomach and crash in her lap. He laughed and clapped each time he let go of the car.

Max caught site of me after one of his car crashes. "Daddy's home!"

Ava looked up at me and frowned. She helped Max out of the chair and he did that walk/run thing that kids do by swimming pools all the way to my open arms.

"Swim with me?" he begged.

"I have to talk with your mama first, Max." He whined at my answer and pushed out of my arms.

"Papus!" Max billowed out a pouty cry for my dad, his Papus Andy, and my dad indulged him by turning the grill duty completely over to Thais and hopping into the pool so Max could swim some more.

I edged down to the pool deck and over to Ava. She didn't even bother a second glance at me. I knew how badly I had messed up and I also knew that "I'm sorry" just wasn't good enough but I had to start somewhere.

"Ava, I am so sorry."

"Pfft." She rolled her eyes and scoffed out a pissy puff of breath.

"Baby, please talk to me. Forgive me. I hate that I couldn't get away from work earlier. There is no excuse for being late today, especially after I promised you I'd be home early. I only want to be with you. You know that. Please talk to me. I am so sorry."

She finally looked up at me, but with a cold angry stare.

Despite her chilly demeanor, I cupped her cheek in my hand and brushed my thumb against Ava's tan summer skin. "I'm here now. I am yours. I promise to be at your and Max's side for the rest of the weekend. I am sorry, Ava. Truly I am."

She nodded her head and her frown eased infinitesimally.

"Look, see..." I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and held it in my open palm. "Take my phone. I swear not to touch it or look at it. The phone is yours for the rest of the weekend. I won't even think about work."

Her bitterness thawed a tad and she spoke, "I can hold your cell phone hostage for four whole days?"

"Yes. I'll forget I even own a phone if you promise to forgive me."

"No calls in to the office?"

"Not one."

"No important messages from your assistant that you can't ignore?"

"I promise."

Ava looked down at the cell in my outstretched palm and then back up at me. She chewed her lip in thought and in one quick movement, my phone was snatched away from me and shoved down deeply into Max's toy bag.

"Does that mean you forgive me?"

"I guess so, yes. Don't make any more promises you cannot keep."

"I promi... Ok."

I drew the necklace with Ava's wedding ring attached out of my pocket. "I got this for you. I know I am a crazy, obsessive husband, but I hate that you can't wear your wedding ring right now, it's driving me insane. I want everyone to know you're mine and that I'm yours. I can't stand the thought of you not wearing my ring. It'll give you some protection, too. Keep the bad away. Will you please wear it for me?"

"Ari!" She shouted.

I couldn't tell if she was happy about the gift or mad at me for buying something so expensive. I grimaced and waited for an additional response.

"Jeeze, you could have strung my ring from dental floss and I would have worn it. This is way too much."

I held my breath.

"But, oh my, is it pretty..." She inched down to get a further inspection and gently stroked the circling rows of diamonds.

I freed the air from my lungs. "So you will wear it then?"

"I won't take it off." She leaned forward allowing me to clasp the necklace in place around her neck. The diamonds rested ever so gently against the very top of her chest.

"Thank you. My first evil eye. I love this so much, Ari. It's perfect," she whispered, and looked up at me to kiss my lips.

"Anything for you," I whispered back. "The idea of an evil eye was actually something my dad came up with. I should have given you this a long time ago. Maybe an evil eye could have kept you safe when I couldn't." My eyes burned into hers and I thought of all the times I failed her. All the times I could not save her.

"We're safe now." Ava's thumb smoothed my creased brow and she gave me a reassuring smile.

"Mmmm." My fingers edged along her long, scarred wrist.

"Let's have fun tonight. Ok? Forget about all that." She lightly bumped her shoulder with mine.

"Right."

We had been looking forward to a long holiday together at home with our family. This would be Ava's first Fourth of July weekend at the family compound in Dana Point. Just about everything we do around the holiday weekend, bedsides eating mounds of great food, involves water. Ava has a genuine but absurd fear of water. Humbly I take credit for having wielded my charm and persistence to get her into the ocean a handful of times. But each time I got her there, she suctioned herself onto me like a jellyfish, leaving me to peel her off as soon as we were back on shore. The only part of her that ever tries our pool is a big toe, and that has happened bloody rarely. She has no idea of how to swim, a fact that has bothered me because I love the water, but my worry had become much more serious with the arrival of Max. Soon, with a baby on the way, she would be responsible for two lives in and around our house by the sea. Three if you count her own.

"What name did you pick?"

_Shit_. She brought me back to reality and I had not yet thought of any baby names as I had also promised. Batting a thousand.

"Tell me your pick first," I said, attempting to buy some time.

"Ok. I was supposed to come up with a boy's name. What do you think about Dorian?"

"Dorian," I said, "Dorian is, well, it's... " The twisted, scrunched look on my face must have said it all.

"You hate it." Ava's excited smile slid down into a frown.

"It's just... I don't... _love_ it."

"Ok, let's see if you can do better. Your turn."

"Alright..." I hurriedly racked my brain for a name I could live with. I wanted to name the baby with a Greek name from our heritage and Ava agreed, so long as we could come up with something we both liked.

"You sure you don't want to name her Ileana?"

"Ari, no!" she scolded me for the twenty-first time.

"Alright, alright. What about Athena?"

"Athena? She's a goddess right?" Her nose crinkled a tad and I couldn't resist rolling my eyes at her.

"Uh, yeah. Athena is one of the twelve Olympians. She's uh, she's pretty high up there, Ave."

Ava nudged me with her elbow. "I dunno! I can't keep it all straight. Who is she exactly?"

"The Athenians founded the Parthenon on the Acropolis, you know Athens, in her honor. She is the goddess of wisdom, courage and inspiration. Also, my mother is somehow related to descendants of Athena on her mother's side. Athena and Aphrodite were sisters. So my mom would like die and go to heaven if we named our girl Athena. It would be a good name for our child. I think it is pretty."

"Athena Alexander," Ava's lips puckered in a kind of pout as she said the name aloud. "I like the idea of naming our child after someone so important and great... just not Athena. Sorry, it's a no for me. I want to hear a name and just have it click. I want to feel it."

"Ok, I think I know exactly what you mean. We can try again later. Right now, all I can feel is hunger pains. I need food."

An awesome display of crab legs, grilled swordfish kabobs and lobster salad was arranged on large platters lined up on the table. We dished up heaping platefuls of food, more food than even our large and hungry crew could possibly eat. Ava had her teeth centered over a savory kabob when Gianna warned her that mercury levels in some seafood can be harmful to an unborn baby. The morsel slipped from Ava's fingertips and slid back down onto her plate. A sad, pathetic little sulk replaced the hungry smile that had been on her face.

"Peanut butter sandwich?" I suggested and then stood from the table to make her a replacement meal.

"With bananas," she moped. I felt kind of bad for my girl but the table held salads and fresh rolls and fruit bowls. There was plenty to eat, even though the main event would be peanut butter.

"You got it, babe."

We ate and drank all evening at the crowded table on our deck, surrounded by family and close friends. The stories began. Storytelling is a time-honored tradition in my family. The same tales from our childhood and holidays are passed around each year, and each time they are told, the stories become funnier and more outrageous. Plates and silverware clattered and glasses shook as we pounded our fists on the tabletop and gasped for breath in between sidesplitting laughs.

"Aggie," Ava began, " tell me--what was Ari like as a child?"

"Ari?" My mother looked from Ava to me. "Ari was..."

"A monster!" Gianna chimed in before my mother could talk. "Better pray like hell that the baby is like you, Ava."

"He wasn't a monster!"

"He was, Ag, don't try and deny it. That boy was a deviant. People thought he was raised by wolves. He was always fighting, always causing some kind of trouble. My boys learned all their swear words from Ari!"

"Who, Ari? Fighting?" Ava gawked and looked from the women to me and I gave a non-committal shrug of my shoulders.

"Let me explain." Aggie shot Gianna a peeved look and then continued. "Ari was the littlest of the three boys and also the most driven. He was such a tiny guy and Nick and Rory were butterballs and spoiled absolutely rotten."

" _Pfft,"_ Gianna batted her eyes.

"And Ari was... determined to be the best at everything. He wanted to be the fastest, the strongest, the smartest, he wanted to be the winner of it all. Nick and Rory didn't like that. The three of them have always been competitive with one another. They're all sore losers when they don't win and ever boastful and arrogant when they do. They get that from their fathers."

Gianna nodded a great big yes.

"Ari fought Rory daily, punching, headlocks, flying elbows to the stomach. I'd send poor Rory home with an icepack at least twice a week. But it wasn't because Ari was some over-hyper monster child. He was just passionate, even then, and entirely focused on whatever goal was driving him at the moment. He was determined to succeed and when Ari gets an idea in his head, he doesn't back down. No matter what."

Ava's eyes bounced from my mother to me in thought.

"Let's face it, Ava. He has you, this house, that job, Max and that little baby on the way. He's only twenty. These things didn't happen by happy accident. Well, not all of them anyway." She gestured to Ava's belly. "He knows what he wants and he gets it."

"That's not such a bad quality."

"No, it's not. Don't let Gianna scare you. Ari was way better behaved than those two round hams she raised. Ari is just different from them that's all."

"Why are the three boys so different, then? If they are the same, you know from the same deity?"

"What?" My mother blinked in shock and gaped at Ava as if she had just said the stupidest thing in the world.

"They aren't from Adonis?"

"Only Ari." Aggie's tone was questioning, as if Ava should have known better, and she would have known better if I ever talked about who I was, who I am, but I won't.

Ava knitted her brow and she looked to me for clarity.

My parents both stared at me, disbelieving.

"I never really explained it to her. Ava, Nick and Roar got their mother's traits, I have my father's. It is only me and well him," I pointed over to my dad, "only we are from Adonis. But it doesn't matter, right?" I spoke fast and stood from the table, busying myself by gathering dirty dishes and refilling wine glasses. I changed the subject by asking for everyone's input on the baby name, a topic I knew would consume the rest of the evening's conversation and I knew it would keep Ava's mind busy. Deities were forgotten about and soon after the evening came to a close.

Ava and I bade farewell to various members of our family, with hugs and kisses given numerous times. Finally, I trailed into the house behind her with Max on my hip. She turned towards our bedroom to clean up after a day in the sun and I drew Max a bath.

When Max first entered our lives last winter, he was quite reserved and very quiet. He had lost the only life he knew and the grandma who was raising him. Those losses took a toll. Now, several months later and settled in, while still a well-behaved child, eager to listen and learn, he likes his bit of mischief. One of his favorite games is tag and he especially enjoys the game straight out of the bath. As soon as Max's feet hit the ground from out of the tub, he takes off in a dead sprint. He laughs and runs all throughout our home and Ava and I do our best at catching and clothing him. I have seen my wife hurdle the couch in an attempt to grab him and pin him down. No more of that for a while, though, as her pregnancy slowed her down and kept her playing it safe.

I washed sunscreen from Max's skin, rinsed the chlorine from his hair and cleaned his seemingly always smudged and dirty feet. I began to drain the bathwater and Max's smile crept onto his face and grew larger and larger with every passing second. Grabbing a towel, I wrapped him up and patted him down. He cooperated with me as I dried him off, but I knew his cooperation was only a part of his ploy.

He waited for me to run the towel vigorously through his messy, waterlogged hair and as soon as it was dry enough, he made his escape and dashed through the bathroom and out the door, his little giggles ringing throughout the house.

"Oh, man!" He hollered only a moment later.

"I tricked you!" Ava laughed from the hallway. I exited the bathroom in time to see her pinning him down and pulling on his favorite sleep clothes. Max sulked over his quick defeat for only a few minutes then settled down for a story in his room.

Ava, a Québécoise for thirteen years, speaks French as often as she can and has hopes of teaching Max the language. Story time in our house is normally in French unless I am the one reading because in all honesty, I haven't taken the time to truly learn the language. I can sort of 'get by' and I do understand some of what Ava and August babble on about. I know some of the more common phrases but I can't hold down a long conversation without guidance. Max hasn't yet picked up the language, in fact, he still has a difficult enough time with any form of speech. He doesn't talk much at all, and when he does, his speech is very rarely in complete sentences. He has a slight impediment – "girl" is "gull," "love" is "wov," "that" is "dat" and so on. He tries to rely on hand gestures and can often be seen tugging on either Ava's or my clothing and then pointing at whatever it is he wants. I indulge him.

The kid is smart. His mind is a mechanical wonder. At three years old, he can take apart any toy in the house and put it back together. He will sit on the rug for hours on end building huge and intricate structures from Legos or blocks. Ava bought him a wooden three-dimensional puzzle that was intended to be a brainteaser for adults and he solved it in less than ten minutes. I had him do it again just to be sure it wasn't some kind of beginner's luck. He solved the puzzle the second time in less than three minutes. He grew tired of the toy rather quickly and now, the wooden blocks sit in a pile on my desk at work and I've yet to figure out how to put it back together. As smart as he is, and as much as he enjoys being read to, I know the words are in him, he is just too preoccupied with other things to care to use them. Ava frets over his speech and I hear "use your words" more times in a day than I really care to hear.

Ava finished the story and planted a kiss to Max's sleeping lips. "Good night, sweet boy. We love you." I flipped off his bedroom light and closed his door.

"You know what?" I turned to her and took her hand as we walked down the hallway of our rambling home.

"What?" The sound of Ava's voice, so soft and sweet, always makes my heart thump a little louder.

"We are all alone now." Ava's eyes flashed up to mine and she tugged on my hand and ran towards our bedroom with a flirty laugh.

****

"Is it always going feel this way between us?"

Ava's eyelashes tickled my bare, sweaty chest. She ran her fingers through the trail of hair on my lower stomach. Her touch was sensational and caused my nerves to tingle and my blood to warm and flow more and more quickly through my veins. I shifted my body to get another look at her. Our legs were intertwined and our skin stuck together from the damp heat.

"What do you mean?" My finger brushed across her now swollen lips.

"I mean us. This passion between us. I can't ever get enough of you. I don't ever want to stop when it comes to you and me. I can never seem to satisfy the lust I have for you when we are alone. Surley, that feeling, this passion can't last forever."

"Our love for each other will last forever, Ava. Our love and everything that comes with it will never cease. Our lives may change as we grow together but the feelings I have for you and the passion that those feelings evoke will always remain."

"You feel it too, right?"

My breath hitched in my chest. "I am obsessed. I am fixated on you. I cannot believe you are my wife. The notion that you are mine strikes me as a miracle. I will spend an eternity watching you, Ava and kissing you and satisfying you and it still won't be long enough for me. I feel the pull between us. Withdrawal from you will cause my death."

She moved her hand from my stomach and touched her lips to mine and we did not close our eyes for rest until the gulls began to cry at daybreak.

Chapter 4

### Who am I

"Thanks, Fauna. I'll take a look at it here and get back with you later on today."

"Sure, Boss. Just let me know what you need me to do."

"You're working?"

I looked up from the desk phone at Ava who was leaning in on the doorframe of our home office and staring in at me in disapproval. Her hair was silky and shiny, her round cheeks clean and glowing and her nails freshly polished.

"You caught me. I'm sorry, Baby. I'm done now, I didn't realize you were home. You look lovely. How was your morning with my mom and sister?"

"I thought you were spending the morning with Max." She was too disappointed with me to be distracted by my question. "I thought you were giving him a surf lesson. He was looking forward to it, Ari."

"We did that. He's getting brave."

"Where is he now?" Her arms crossed tightly over her chest.

"His room with that new book you gave him. He's loves that one. It has become a fast favorite."

"No more work until Monday. Ok? You promised."

"No more work until Monday." My head bobbed in agreement and apology just before I glanced at the computer screen at the image that Marketing approved despite my strong feelings against its use. My shoulders fell in defeat. I had had hopes of going in a different direction.

"I want to talk to you."

"I'm all yours. What's on your mind, Beautiful?"

"I want to know, Ari, _who_ are you?" She blindsided me with her question and every muscle in my body clenched, my stomach tightened and my lungs froze.

"It doesn't matter. Hey, listen, we need to talk about the _baio_ fashion show-"

"No we don't. _Who_ are you?"

The curvy line in her brow deepened when her eyes narrowed. Her stare dug into mine.

"I, um... Ava, where is this coming from? Why do you even care? Why are you bringing this up all of a sudden? What difference does it make?" I jumped into defensive mode much more quickly than I probably should have. My fingers raked through my hair again and again tugging on knots and pulling painfully at the roots.

Ava has asked me who I was a few times throughout our relationship and I have always managed to dodge the question. She knows that I descend from Adonis and that is all that she needs to know.

"I am curious. I want to know. I want to learn these things, Ari. We are having a baby together and I want to know _who_ we are having. What to expect."

I gave her a short dismissive laugh at her question and she flinched at the quick and flippant insult. Her question and reasoning were actually quite astute and valid. She was right to want to know the answer. I was just too fearful to tell her.

"Don't laugh at me," she spat.

"You already know who I am, Baby." I softened for a different approach. "You know me better than almost anyone."

" _Who_ are you? Tell me, Ari," she begged.

"I am Ari, husband to Ava, father to Max and I am excitedly waiting the birth of our baby. That is all I ever I want to be. I don't want to talk about this anymore. That's enough, Ava. We are done here."

"Excuse me?" Her molars ground sharply together; I could hear them crunch from across the room. Ava was more than mad and she had every right to be.

"You heard what I said. We are done with this conversation. I still have work to finish. I'll meet you and Max by the pool in a while, once I am done. Now excuse me." My softened approach hadn't worked and I had no choice but to be insulting. Hurting Ava's feelings was a small price to pay. I was doing her a favor. I was doing us both a favor. I could live with her angry, but I couldn't live with doubt, I could not live with her gone from my life.

She refused to leave the office and stared across the desk at me with angry eyes and tight lips. My blood warmed and a wild fire rushed through my veins. A nervous ball of tightly wound energy sucker punched my core. No matter how hard I may try to prepare myself, I would never be willing or ready for this talk, for this fight, for this heartache. She would be angry but mostly she would be hurt. She would question me, she would question my love for her. She would think horrible things about me. She would think she wasn't supposed to be mine and that we made a mistake. I love only her but she would still be right to come to those conclusions.

"Ava?" I picked up the phone and dialed my assistant, giving her a cold and final dismissal.

Fauna answered and I leaned back in my chair and tilted around to look out at the sea while I talked over the image and the ideas I had come up with to stop Marketing from pushing the decision through.

"Is Margaux backing this?" I asked Fauna.

"Yes. She has her mind made up."

"Did she even humor the other suggestions?"

"She gave some thought to them but it wasn't enough. We've lost, Boss."

The stale air pushed through my tight lungs when Ava's receding footsteps were followed by the closing of the office door.

"Shit. Fauna, this is bad." I said and hung up the line.

Ava's question made the nerves in my stomach erupt and scatter from my tight core up to my chest and down through my gut and finally through my limbs, winding a path of unsettling energy until I was sweaty and light headed.

****

"Does it matter?" I stewed and hid in the office and then, after a search, I found her alone in the empty nursery. "Will you stop loving me?"

"No." She turned and blinked her sad eyes, "no, of course not. I love you no matter what. I didn't know how upset you would get. I'm sorry, Ari. I am really sorry. Don't be angry with me."

I hated that she just apologized to me. I hated that I made her feel that she was the one who was wrong. But it was what I had to do to keep us happy. It was what I had to do to keep her from asking me and from finding out my secret.

"I forgive you. Who I am does not matter, Ava. Do not dwell on this. All that matters is, I love you."

"I love you." She looked away from me and back to the empty space and the white walls and cold, hardwood floors.

"When are we going to get started on decorating the baby's room?"

"I was waiting on you to decide."

Somehow, I managed to suppress an overwhelming feeling relief and I beamed up at her. "Well, I was waiting on you to decide. We can get started in here whenever you would like. Do you have an idea of what you would like to do in the room? It would probably be easier if we knew what we were having. Pink or blue."

"I don't want either color. I bought this today." Ava had an unsure look on her face and I slanted my head to the side in curious wonder at her little voice and pink blushing cheeks.

She held up a cream-colored baby blanket. The blanket was soft and sweet.

She bit and chewed at her bottom lip. "Your mom dragged me to that new baby boutique in town and I couldn't resist this little blanket. I can't believe she talked me into buying it, the silly thing cost a fortune." She added the last part shyly and I threw my head back and laughed. Ava is the last of all people to worry about price tags and money.

"This is very pretty, I am sure it is worth the..." I glanced down at the tag, "two hundred dollars? Two hundred dollars for a tiny rectangle of fabric? _Baio_ is right to jump on the baby wagon, we are going to make a killing with _baio babe_."

"Don't talk _baio_ with me," she warned, obviously still angry from my broken promise about not working.

"You're right, I won't. Forgive me. Let's talk about us. Our baby is going to love this blanket, Ava. We still need to crib shop. Maybe next weekend will work. What colors do you want for the room?"

Ava is a smart woman. She would figure me out and she would return with her questions with force and at some point, I would lose to her. She would find me out and doubt our love. But for now, I would keep her busy and the baby always keeps Ava busy.

"I want to keep the nursery simple with soft greys and creams. Can you have the decorator draw some ideas up for us?"

"I'll call her after the holiday."

"Thanks." She smiled her first real smile at me.

"Are you getting excited about our baby now?"

"I have always been excited about our unexpected news. I am elated that we get to raise a biological child together. My apprehension has never been about having a baby. My anxiety lies with having a baby who is a deity and born to honor a life he didn't choose. It's not fair. I want our child's destiny to be undecided. I want our baby to be free to be whomever he or she chooses to be."

I agreed with her completely but there was no sense in dwelling over something that was out of our control.

"There are worse things in life than being born like you and me. Our child will never know what it is like to go without love. Our child will never be hungry or cold. Our child with have two parents who will love each other forever, and together we will love her forever. That is more than a lot of people in this world can say."

Ava nodded her head slowly in thought.

"Here. This blanket officially marks this room as Baby Alexander's." I draped the soft blanket across the window seat cushion. "The nursery will be put together in no time."

"Actually..."

"Yes?" My brow rose in question at her hesitance.

"Forget it, it's super stupid."

"You have never said anything super stupid before, so lay it on me."

"It's just... I thought that maybe if we had the blanket in our room, and used it until the baby is born, the fabric would start to smell like us and not some gaudy store. Our familiar scent will be comforting to our baby at night."

"I think that's a great idea."

"Yeah?"

"Not super stupid at all. I could actually use a blanket, since you persist in ripping ours off of me in the middle of the night."

"I do not!"

"Sure you don't."

We left the room with our new baby blanket in hand to get ready for the afternoon of pool time followed by dinner and fireworks. My heart was still racing. I was keeping a secret that would break Ava's heart.

### Chapter 5

### The Fourth

"Come on, Ava, get in."

Ava sat at the pool's edge with her feet dangling into the cool water. It was hot outside. The rest of us were in the water and had just finished a game of volleyball.

Ava took her foot and splashed water up in my face. She did so playfully but to me the gesture meant war. I grabbed her hands in one quick swoop and began to pull her into the water along with me.

"No, no, sorry, Ari!" She immediately began to scream in protest at what I was about to do.

"Nope, you are learning to swim, Ava, and that's that."

I managed to get her into my arms and in the pool and straightaway, she wrapped her body around mine, no easy task with her swollen baby bump keeping the rest of her body at bay, but somehow she managed.

"Calm down, it's just four feet of water. I'm going to let you go now. You can touch here." I let go of her but she remained suction cupped to me, whimpering in my ear.

"Ava, listen to me, you need to learn to be comfortable in the water. You need to learn to swim. We have Max and we have a baby on the way. If you are home alone and one of them, God forbid, falls in the water then what will you do? How will you save our children?"

Ava released her grip at my words and her feet, for the first time ever, touched the bottom of the pool. She had a very sober look in her eyes.

Ava is stubborn and tenacious, but she will do absolutely anything for Max and for the little baby on its way. If learning to swim will keep her kids safe, Ava will be able to swim like a fish in no time.

I took her hands in mine. "Alright are you ready? I am going to take this nice and slow." She nodded, a bit scared, but also finally determined to learn.

Ava gave in to my swim lesson for an hour or so and slowly, she began to relax. She listened carefully and did exactly what I said.

The pool emptied and everyone lounged around the sidelines in chairs. Lauren sat flipping through magazines.

"OMG, Cameron Gallo's a total hotty Mchotterson."

Her friend leaned across the lounge chair to glance at my sister's reading material, "Adorbs." She bobbed her head enthusiastically. "That hair! I love the honey blonde curls."

"For sure, and those baby blue eyes... cutes-pa-tutes."

Lauren gave her own eager nod. "For sure, I know, right? I cannot believe he cheated on Dove. I mean, wow, she is gorgeous."

"She's pretty, but he is too good to be true. He's like a god or something. Wow."

"Wow."

My eyebrow rose at Ava in question.

"Apparently he's handsome," she remarked with a barely straight face.

"Did you ever tell your friends I was a hotty Mchotterson?"

"For sure, I must have doodled "Ari Alexander" on every page in my diary."

"Really?"

"No, Ari. Not really. But I did you think you were hot. Still do, actually."

"Mmm," I took Ava's hands and glided her with me back to the shallow end of the pool, pulling her in close to my chest. "You think I'm hot?"

"Sometimes." She shrugged, giving her best attempt at nonchalance.

"I sometimes think you're hot, too. Especially when you do that one little dance move when you think no one is watching."

"I don't do any little dance move!" She argued.

"Yeah, uh huh, Ava, you do too. The one that goes like this," I mimicked her little half twirl, head bob combo.

"I don't dance like that!" She splashed pool water up in my face again and I gave her a warning look.

"Don't think I won't dunk you, because I will. And yes, you do too dance like that." I pulled her in closer and spoke into her ear, "Like I said, it's cute. Makes me smile." Her cheek pressed against mine and the heat from her blush warmed my skin.

Beads of water ran from Ava's hair, down her neck and then maneuvered over the curves of her chest, glistening against her creamy tan skin. The hot sun dried her nearly as fast as the drips ran. With my finger, I pulled ever so slightly at the string between her chest that held her little triangle shaped bikini to her body.

"There are some major advantages to having you in the pool with me." My finger slipped beneath the fabric of her swimsuit and caressed the lower curve of her full breast. Ava's skin flashed hot and my lips began to nip at her ear lobe. Her head cocked to the side granting me access to her neck and I pecked and sucked my way down to the dip of her shoulder and then back up again to her mouth. Ava's tongue slid into my mouth, her hands ran up my back to my head where she gripped fistfuls of my wet hair. Her body pushed against mine, the water splashed at our sides from the quick displacement. I smiled with my kisses, knowing that Ava had let her guard down by accident and had forgotten where we were and that we were not alone. Born without a shred of modesty, I didn't care if a hundred people watched on and I cupped her bottom tightly and squeezed.

"Knock it off!" Andy shouted at us, startling Ava, causing her to bite down on my tongue, hard.

"Christ!" I yelled at her sharp teeth.

"Oh, my God!" Ava squealed with embarrassment.

"You two need a bedroom," My dad yelled again.

"We have eight bedrooms over there in our home and they are therefore attached to this pool."

"Ah, so it isn't a room that you are lacking then, it's decency?"

"Right." I smiled a bit too cocky for his liking and I knew the next sentence that was due to come out of his mouth by heart.

"You are my son and I will never stop trying to teach you to do the right thing."

"Right, right, I'll do my best to keep my hands off her."

"Please do. Let's keep this afternoon rated G, shall we? At least while the rest of us are here and sober."

"He's teasing," I reassured Ava and rubbed my thumb across her blushing red cheeks. "Come on, let's get out." Scooping her up, I plucked her out of the water and then sat her upright on the edge of the pool. "You did great. I don't know what you have been so afraid of, you're a natural in the water. It won't take you any time to become a strong swimmer."

"Well, you are a good teacher." I eased in between Ava's legs and she leaned down to kiss me chastely on the lips. I thought about the two of us running inside the house and slamming the bedroom door.

Ava recognized the needy look in my eye and moved to the lounge chair for space. "Don't even think about it, Ari."

"It's too hard not to at least think about it."

"Then don't act on it."

"I'll try." I made a weak promise to behave and joined Ava at the pool side chairs.

"OMG!" My sister squealed and Ava shuddered in annoyance. "Ava, you've been outed! Ari, look!"

She flopped the magazine open in my wet lap and jabbed repeatedly to a grouping of pictures of Ava, Max and me. They were right next to the story covering Cameron Gallo's alleged affair.

Ava and I had been successful until now at keeping the news of her pregnancy on a need-to-know basis. Our little secret, boy _or_ girl, was harder to keep with each passing week as Ava's belly grew more round. Media coverage of Ava's disappearance had simmered down over the course of year but her popularity had only skyrocketed. She is beautiful and rich, _baio_ is hot and she is the only heir of Margaux's fashion dynasty. She had never uttered a single word to the paparazzi and she had never even remotely considered taking part in any sort of social media venue, yet the press adores her and somehow claims to know everything about her, including but in no way limited to what she likes to eat for breakfast.

" _She's Preggers!"_ The caption exclaimed and just below was a short cutline about the reporter's predictions for the baby. According to the journalist, Ava was thirty weeks along in the pregnancy, we were having a boy and we were still arguing over baby names.

Not entirely incorrect.

"A source close to the couple confirmed the pregnancy and shared that after a few weeks of morning sickness, Ava is doing well and the baby is healthy."

Ava yanked the magazine off my lap but not before I got a look at the photos. Featured on the glossy page were pictures of us getting out of my SUV, another of us walking hand in hand with Max through the open air market and then a third in which Ava and I were sneaking a quick kiss. My hand was resting on her hidden belly, pressing her baggy, oversized sweater down tight. Just beneath my splayed fingers, was a soccer ball-sized bump for the entire world to see. The hand to her belly proved that she was most certainly expecting.

"I'm so sorry, Baby. I wasn't thinking. I shouldn't have done that. I didn't see the cameras."

"It's ok." She smiled and it gave me some relief. "Who wears a sweater in July anyway? I'm getting huge and they were bound to find out at some point. We're just lucky the peace lasted as long as it did."

"Are you sure you're okay with all of this?"

"I don't think I have much of a choice in the matter."

"Hmm. I really am sorry."

"Who is their source?"

"I have no idea. Probably no one. I think that's just something they say so the article seems legit."

"Really?"

"Sure. I mean there is no way they have a real source. The only people who know are us and them," I pointed out to our family.

"Margaux knows, and my doctors, and your assistant."

"Margaux cherishes you. And she had very high hopes of keeping the baby a secret until the fashion show. She wanted to debut your bump along with the new _baio babe_ line. I highly doubt she's the rat. Your doctors are professionals who are bound by patient confidentially and Fauna respects us and is also bound by a non-disclosure agreement – I trust her completely. I really think the magazine was just making it up. What an easy thing to lie about, just about every pregnant woman has morning sickness."

"True."

"Let's go inside. Max could use a nap..." I winked, she blushed and followed me into the house.

****

Dinner was followed later that evening at my parent's house.

"Ava! How are you feeling?" My mom talked quickly as soon as we entered her home through the back glass door.

"Hey, I'm fine, how are you?" Ava greeted my mom with a bright, happy smile.

"Did you get some rest this afternoon?"

She looked over to me and the tops of her cheeks turned a shade darker.

" _Tsk_! Oh, forget I asked. I'm a little rushed here, Ava—do you think you could help me out and make the galaktoboureko? Gianna got caught up in something with Rory and she was supposed to be here an hour ago to make it!"

"What's galaktob..." Ava's grin slid from her suntanned cheeks.

My mom gave a heavy, overly dramatic sigh.

"I'll teach her," I offered. "We can make it together."

"Oh, thank heavens! Andy!!" She hollered through the house and my dad popped his head up from the couch.

"Watch Max? These two are making the pie!"

My dad smirked at my mother's theatrical kitchen drama and Max scurried off with him in search of a flashlight for later in the evening.

I began to pull the semolina, phyllo sheets and all the other necessary ingredients from the cupboards. "Galaktoboureko is a custard pie. It's a Greek dish," I spoke to Ava over my shoulder from the refrigerator. "My mom has made it tons of times before. It has that honey lemon syrup stuff. Tons of sugar! You'll love it, I promise."

Thanks to her pregnancy, Ava had a sweet tooth and Max and I were the beneficiaries – we were getting away with eating more sugar and sweets than ever before. Grocery shopping with pregnant Ava is a blast. She can't fight the sugar craving she has, and since she has never eaten sugary foods before, I have the enjoyment of feeding her all of my favorite cookies, ice-creams and cakes. And chocolate. Once, I gave her a peanut butter Pop Tart and it may as well have been crack cocaine. She put the whole box away in less than two days. Galaktoboureko was sure to become a fast favorite of hers.

"You can teach me how to make it?" She shot me a raised eyebrow of doubt.

"Of course. I know how to make every recipe that has ever come from this kitchen by heart. I can teach you how to make galaktoboureko with my eyes closed."

"You're pretty hot," she said and poked my ribs.

"I thought I was only hot sometimes."

"Now is definitely one of those times."

I smiled crookedly at her and tied an apron around my waist.

"You're more than hot. This is sexy," she tugged at the apron. "Domestic suits you."

"Yeah? What do you say I borrow the apron for later tonight? You can find out what's underneath..."

"That apron was a Mother's Day gift from you to me when you were eight years old, _Ari_!" My mom screeched from the hall closet. "If you tarnish that memory, I will never forgive you!"

I winked an eye at Ava and tried to whisper, "What she doesn't know won't hurt her."

"I can still hear you! Could you just make the pie?!" My mother huffed. "I swear you two..." She continued mumbling to herself about how the two of us could never keep our hands off one another. Ava easily tuned out her chatter and helped me make the custard pie.

"What's going on with Rory that Gianna bailed on you?" I asked my mom when Ava pulled the pie from the oven.

"She didn't really say. Only that Rory showed up to their house early and wanted to talk with her and Thais before the end of the night. She made it sound like it was very important to him."

"What do you think he's up to?"

"I honestly never know with him, Ari."

"Me either."

She shrugged and walked off in the direction of the deck with a platter of fresh cheeses, fruit and vegetables, putting an end to the conversation.

With the pie crisis averted, Ava and I went out on the deck and grilled steaks and mahi mahi. I drank wine and we visited with friends as they came up the path to celebrate and watch fireworks from beach chairs. The galaktoboureko was a hit, which annoyed my mother because she likes to be the one who gets the kudos for making the best food. Ava was thrilled because my mom was annoyed. My sister missed dinner completely because she spent so much time getting ready and doing her hair and makeup in the bathroom. She and Luke had plans to go to a friend's party after our family thing. Unable to resist, I told Luke I'd give him fifty dollars if he threw my sister into the pool as soon as she came out on to the deck with us.

"Oh, um, I dunno. Lauren wouldn't like that." He said, but smiled as he deliberated my proposal.

"That's the point, Luke."

"Shit, fifty bucks? I'll do it." Rory jumped up from his seat to be on the lookout for Lauren.

"Nah, I want Luke to toss her. Not you."

"C'mon, man, I could use the cash."

"Fine, I'll give you fifty bucks to throw Jules in the pool."

" _Cha! Ari!"_ Julia yelled at me and tossed her hands up in the air.

Rory shrugged and headed towards Julia's chair.

"Rory Cal Alexander! I'll cut your balls clean off and feed them to the seagulls!" The look on her face was serious and he quickly stopped his pursuit.

"I was only joking. I would never do that," he said, but he would so definitely do that.

Lauren walked out of the house with perfect hair and prefect makeup, cute heels and a brand new outfit given to her by Ava. I held up a crisp fifty-dollar bill. Luke pushed from his seat, pressed a kiss to my sister's cheek, causing her to have a face-splitting grin, and then he tossed her in the water before she could say a single word to anyone. _Pissed_ only begins to describe the look on her face as she came out of the water looking like a drowned rat.

For fifty bucks, Luke made my entire night and ruined Lauren's. He may have also ruined his own evening because Lauren laid into him something fierce and gave him hell just as any other Greek woman would have done.

"Ari, so help me God, if you ever do something like that to me..."

"Baby," I shook my head at Ava, "I would never in a million years dream of doing something like to you."

She smiled.

"I can't go without sex for long, are you kidding me? You'd hold out on me for ages."

Her elbow flew into my gut.

Max slipped out of the house with my dad and he eased up on Ava's lap. We shifted to a much more appropriate conversation.

"Rory's middle name is Cal, too?" Ava asked and fiddled with Max's hands, cupping his small palm and filling it with soft kisses. She kissed, he giggled, she kissed some more and he laughed louder.

"Family name," I nodded. "You didn't know that?"

Her forehead crinkled and a cute line that was intended to be a firm scowl set in between her eyes.

"No, I didn't know that, Ari. Where does the name come from? What does it mean?"

"Uh, let's see... Cal means ' _most beautiful_. ' The name is Greek, obviously. Cal was my grandfather's name on my father's side. Cal Alexander."

"So _who_ was he, then?" She asked with a timid voice, careful not to upset me and I felt a sting of guilt.

"A descendant from Adonis."

"So you are named after both of your grandfathers, Aristotle and Cal?"

"Yeah."

"Hmm... I like Cal." She mused and tasted the name on her tongue.

More kisses pressed into Max's palm and then into his messy hair.

"I like Cal, too. Cal is nice. The name has worked fine for me all these years."

Ava smiled as she looked down at her belly. My hand was resting there. Whenever she is near me, I can't help but touch her, feel her. Feeling our baby move and kick is like experiencing a divine miracle. It brings me great joy and I relish each and every moment that I am blessed with.

"Are we agreeing on a boy name?" Ava asked excitedly.

"We are!"

"Cal and Max," she squeezed Max in a warm hug.

"They sound like a great, mischievous duo."

Ava giggled merrily and happy tingles spread from my fingers down to my toes.

The sky grew darker and darker and eventually we moved out to the beach right in front of the water for an awesome view of the city's yearly show. Waves rolled in and excitement hummed in the air. Max and a few other children his age ran along the beach, flashlights in hand, chasing the sand crabs.

When the first bang from the fireworks rang out, people quit talking and everyone looked out towards the sky above the sea at the magnificent bursts of color. Max hurried to our side and I threw him up on my shoulders. I wrapped my arms around Ava and held her tightly. She leaned back into my chest with a contented breath.

Everyone found peace and comfort in their loved one's arms. People were sneaking kisses from one another under the beautifully lit sky. The night was perfect.

Near the edge of the grouping of our closest friends and family, Rory and Julia stood in profound closeness. His back to the show, he whispered in her ear in between the explosive bangs and whatever he said to her, brought on a rush of tears and powerful emotion.

A great big colorful finale lit up miles of skyline and shortly after, the vibrant bursts were replaced with milky white firework smoke and the smell of sulfur hung heavily in the air. Max let out a giant yawn and wiggled his way down into my arms. He rested his head on my shoulder and placed his small hand against my cheek. The crowd of people slowly dispersed towards their homes with lawn chairs, coolers and sleepy kids tucked under their arms.

### Chapter 6

### The Storm

Thunder crashed and lightening lit up the dark night sky. The noise was startling and Ava jumped awake with a scream.

"It's just a storm," I said, calming her quickly and quietly in between kisses pressed to the top of her head. "It's just a storm, calm down. _Shh_."

She let out an unsteady breath. We were knotted together -- our arms and legs entwined like a tied shoelace. Her head was pillowed in the dip of my chest and her skin was hot. We were both sweaty.

Ava let out another deep, shaky breath in an effort to calm herself. "I was having a nightmare. Oh, God." Another deep breath and then, "Oh, God. It was just a nightmare." Her speech came rushed and panicky.

"I'm here." I held her tighter, enveloping her in my arms and she breathed me in, sucking the air away from my skin. "I'm here. What was it? What were you dreaming?"

"It was so real, Ari. Promise me, promise me you'll never stop loving me. Not ever."

"Whoa...," I said and adjusted my body to look into her face. "Not ever. Is that what you were dreaming? Me not loving you?"

Ava's head bobbed in a sad nod and she wiped her eyes and nose with the back of her hand.

"Of course, I promise, Ava. I've built my universe around you. Without you, my world crumbles. I won't stop loving you. I can't. Not ever." I lifted her chin to look into her eyes. "Tell me your dream. Talk me through it and you'll see just how silly a bit of imagination it was ... an absurd and irrational fabrication."

Her face pinched. "I don't think I want to talk about it."

"You sure? It helps to talk -- you know it helps."

"I can't."

"Ava, please. Don't shut me out."

"I'm not, Ari. I just don't want to think about that dream anymore. I want it out of my head. I can't bear the thought..."

"Ok, ok. Shh. All that matters is that I am here and I love you. My finger tapped on her chest just above her heart. "You hold my heart in here, Ava. How could I live without it?"

Her lips pressed into mine and I tasted the flavor of her salty tears on my tongue. Her hands searched my body and our heartbeats blended and pounded in time with one another.

"Ari, I..." She pressed herself back against my chest to look at me.

"What, Baby? Tell me."

"I..." Her eyes were wet with unshed tears.

"Mama!" Max screamed loudly from his bedroom and the sound echoed through the monitor.

Ava pushed off me, untangled her body from my limbs and the blankets, then was up and out of our room and into Max's in a flash.

"Shh, sweet boy, I'm here." She shushed and hushed him and then calmed Max down by reading his favorite story.

"Llama Llama..." she started, and I leaned back against a pile of pillows with the new tiny and soft baby blanket draped over me. I listened to the story being told in her gentle voice through the baby monitor. Thunder continued to crash outside and our house shook with the vibration. Eventually, Ava's words drifted away and I knew the two of them had fallen back asleep together.

I stayed awake, my eyes focusing in and out on the ceiling above me. I sometimes cannot sleep without her. For months after I met Ava but before we were intimate, I struggled with insomnia. I saw her and I loved her with an intensity that was hard to fathom. Now that I belong to her, every part of me needs every part of her. I need her like I need air. I'm restless without her near me. Her presence calms my soul and stops the near-constant noises in my head, nagging noises reminding me constantly of the filth in my blood. Without Ava the walls close in around me. The mere idea of no longer having her to love makes my stomach heave with nausea. I pushed out of bed to go for her and bring her back to me.

The wind howled and rain pounded on our rooftop, smacking against the glass. Palm trees danced wickedly with each gust and cast elongated ghostlike figures on the walls. The nearby white-capped waves crashed angrily and pummeled the shore with rage; sprays of seawater hissed and thunder reverberated, shaking our windows and causing our picture frames to vibrate against the walls.

Through the chaos in the dead of night came the near silent _swoosh_ of our glass door sliding open. My scalp prickled and tiny hairs on my arms and the back of my neck stood up on high alert. Someone was entering our home uninvited. Standing in our upstairs corridor, my hand gripped the stairwell banister in a tight, white-knuckled squeeze. My gaze, struggling with the dark, picked out and followed a tall, slender figure gliding in through the door and into our kitchen.

A small bit of relief came to me as the visitor slid out of wet shoes at the door mat. This was someone we knew, someone who knew us well enough to know and follow Ava's exacting house rules.

"Hello?" I called out.

A gasp echoed quietly in the night, barely audible from the storm that raged on outside.

"I know you're there, Jules. What are you doing here so late?" I called out from the top floor. She turned around and searched the dark house for me. The sound of my footsteps as I came down the stairs gave my location away and her eyes caught my movement in the dark moonlight. Her gaze followed me as I approached her.

"What do you need, Julia? It's late. Rory is probably in an agony of worry. Let me drive you home..."

Lightning struck the ocean with a magnificent crackle and the blackened house flashed with a brilliant, bright light, giving me my first real glimpse of her. Her skin was ashen despite the weekend spent in the California sun. Her hair was wet and her clothing was too. She had on a dark, hooded, unzipped sweatshirt with a pair of Rory's boxers and a tank top of his that was entirely too loose on her thin frame. She was cold and tears streamed down her cheeks and clouded her eyes.

"Julie Baby, what's wrong?"

She fell against me, throwing her arms around my body. She let go of whatever strength she had been holding on to and sobbed savagely into my chest.

"You haven't called me that in a long time," she said, sniffling and nudging herself closer to me, tightening her cold, wet arms around my bare body. "You're so warm." She held me even tighter still. "You are always so warm."

"Are you alright?"

"I am now." She breathed me in just as Ava does, sucking the air away from my skin with need.

I pulled back from Julia's grip on me and held her shoulders an arm's length away. I studied her.

"You're freezing. Why are you here so late? Does Rory know you left the condo? He'll be worried, Jules. This storm is too dangerous to be caught out in. Let me call him and then I can drive you home."

She let out shiver and her teeth chattered. "No! Don't tell him anything."

A heavy sigh left my lungs and my mouth pulled into a deep frown. "Stay put for a second."

Down the hall, on the other side of the kitchen, was our laundry room, which had become a sort of adjunct closet for Ava. It housed a bunch of stuff that didn't fit her new baby-carrying shape along with some other odds and ends that had taken up semi-permanent residence. I found a pair of her running shorts and an old DPI tee-shirt. On top of the dryer was a folded stack of beach towels and in the dryer was a forgotten-about load of wrinkly whites. Yanking out an undershirt, I pulled it on over my head, and took the shorts, tee-shirt and towel to Julia.

"Put these on and give me your wet clothes."

Standing before me, Julia removed the sweatshirt and then crossed her arms at her waist and pulled at the hem of her wet tank, removing her shirt in one swift move. I shifted uncomfortably and looked everywhere but at her. She flopped the wet tank in my open palm and exchanged it for Ava's dry tee-shirt. She did the same with the shorts while I fidgeted.

"Done?" I asked when Rory's wet boxers joined the tank top in my hand.

"Done. At ease, Ari, I don't have anything that you haven't seen before." Julia grabbed the towel and ran it vigorously through her sopping wet hair.

She followed me into the kitchen and I dumped her wet things into the sink, then turned to look at her, crossing my arms over my chest.

"What are you doing here at three in morning?"

She climbed onto a stool and fidgeted with Max's sticky toy dinosaur.

"I've... It's just," and she started to cry again in a choking sob. Scrambling for a tissue, I had to settle for a roll of toilet paper from the guest bath down the hall.

"I had no idea this was going to happen. Ari, I am so sorry."

"Ok, what is happening? And why are you sorry?" Chills crept up my spine.

"You would do anything for me right, Ari?"

I didn't answer her.

" _I_ would... I would do anything for _you_. You and I have been through a lot together. I... you mean so much to me. We have a bond that no one else has. When my parents died, you were the only one I would talk to -- remember? It was just you and me. I was so scared of everything, so scared that those men were coming back to kill me. I was so terrified in the dark at night that I would hide under my bed, but you always found me, and you would crawl under there with me with a flashlight and sometimes you would..." she sniffled and wiped tears away from her cheeks. "You would read to me. Remember? You probably read me _The Lord of the Flies_ more than fifty times." She laughed in spite of her tears.

"You always cried when Piggy died."

She smiled at me and then paused. "Yes, I did -- poor Piggy. You fixed me, Ari. You took every damaged and broken piece of me and made me better. You made me whole again. I owe you."

"You don't --"

"We grew older and the stories stopped."

My eyes closed at her words.

"You kissed me under that bed, Ari... every night. You had sex with me under there. We turned into adults together. You told me things I know you've never told her. You told _me_ , Ari, remember? I know _who_ you are. I loved you. You told _her_ you never loved me but... I know you did. I know you still do love me, too. You would do anything for me... even now. And I will do anything for you, too." She picked at the small, dirty Band-Aid on her wrist.

"Julia, we shouldn't be talking about our past together. This is inappropriate. If you need to talk with me, come by my office. I'm free for lunch on Monday. We can talk then." A breath pushed heavily from my lungs. "I know what I told you in the past, but who I _am_ does not matter. My bond is with Ava. Only Ava. I've made my promises to her and there isn't anyone left to make me honor my heritage. I do love you, Jules, but I love you like --"

"Like family?"

"Yes, family. Now, let me call Rory. My cell is upstairs. Stay here. He can come get you."

"You can't. He can't know I am here."

"You're worrying me, you know."

"I need you to help me."

"What do you need me to do?"

"I need you to tell lies, Ari."

"I don't--"

"Don't say you don't lie, because I know you do. You lie. I've caught you. You may not be as dishonest as the rest of us and you may not fib, but you do tell lies. Everyone lies, Ari and you will lie for me. I know you will and I will lie for you, too."

"I am not keeping anything from anyone."

"Liar."

Cries rang out through the house.

Julia jumped at the piercing sounds of Ava's tortured screams and I turned on my heels without saying another word, running up the steps two at a time. Julia's shadowy frame slipped the sopping wet hooded sweatshirt back on as she opened the kitchen door and stepped into the stormy darkness.

My night would be one nightmare followed by another.

I went to Ava and Max and found them coiled together. Both were crying, their eyes squeezed tightly shut. Max's pillow was wet with tears. Ava's was wet with sweat and she was talking in her sleep, uttering scared, rushed words that I couldn't understand.

I stayed with them and soothed their sobs all night as the thunder rolled, the lightning struck and the rain pummeled our beach home.

Max woke at daybreak with swollen red eyes. His face and nose were chapped from having had his tears wiped away all night with the hem of my undershirt. Max gasped at the sight of me sitting there at his bedside. He pushed himself down from the mattress and ran the few steps to his reading chair in the corner where I sat. He threw his arms around me and then pulled back and held my face in his hands. His heart hammered through his chest. He looked me straight on in the eye and then wrapped his arms back around my neck in a tight squeeze. I hugged him back, my arms wrapping all the way around his small frame and I held him as closely as I could.

"What did you see, Max? What made you so sad?"

"You," he whispered.

"Me?"

His head dipped in a sad nod.

"Alright... can you tell me what was I doing?"

"Walking away."

My forehead pulled into a crease and I eased Max back so I could look closely at him. "Was your mama in the dream with you?"

"Mmm hmm."

"I was walking away from you both?"

Max nodded again and wiped his nose with his shirtsleeve.

"That was just a nightmare. It wasn't real. I will never walk away from you, or Ava. I promise you, Max."

Resting his head on my shoulder, I rocked him back and forth while I watched Ava sleep. Her nightmares passed and she visibly relaxed. Ava buried her face into Max's pillow and began to stretch out her legs. With a smile on my face, I watched her move her arm to feel around the blankets for me. Setting Max on his feet, I went to her side and sat on the mattress next to her, stilling her dancing fingertips with my hand. Her eyes opened at my touch and she stared wide eyed at me.

"Oh, God!" Ava cried out and wrapped her arms tightly around me, just as Max had.

"It was just a dream, Baby. I'm here." I ran my fingers down her soft arms. "I'm here."

Ava nestled her face into my chest, inhaling deeply.

I kissed the top of her wild and messy bedhead. "I won't leave you, Ava."

"I know. I know you wouldn't. I know you would never, _could_ never. It was just a nightmare, Ari. Not all of them are real."

"That's right." I kissed her salty pink lips. My hand rested on her stomach where I could feel the baby kicking and moving around.

"I bet you're hungry. Why don't you and Max clean up and I can start breakfast?"

"Ok," she agreed. "We won't be long."

At the upstairs hall, I glanced down below and was surprised to find Rory walking into our kitchen and, just as Julia had done the night before, he kicked his flip flops off at the mat.

"Hey," I called down to him and he turned to look up at me.

"What are you doing here this morning?" I asked and took the steps two at time towards him.

"I can't find Jules. She bailed on me last night. I had this thing planned and she flaked..."

My stomach rolled and my esophagus was hit with rising bile. I swallowed acidic stomach juice. She should have been back to their condo hours ago.

"Shit." The word was meant only for me but Rory heard me anyway.

He nodded a slow, sad agreeing nod.

"Ava'll be down in a bit. We'll have breakfast, you can clear your head with some strong coffee. She'll turn up – this is Julia after all. Where can she possibly go?"

Rory nodded again and eased himself onto the same stool that Julia had sat in just a few hours earlier. Turning my back to him, I edged to the counter and gulped at the sight of Julia's wadded-up damp clothes in the kitchen sink. A quick glance assured me he wasn't watching, so I grabbed the boxers and the shirt and shoved them behind the cans of cleaning concoctions in the under-sink cupboard.

"What's going on with her?" Rory's head was in his hands.

"I honestly do not know." I hadn't strictly speaking told a lie, but my stomach reacted sourly anyway.

"She's sneaking around. I just don't know why. I don't know what she is up to."

"Sneaking around? Julia? Like with another guy?"

"She has disappeared in the middle of the night four times now. When she comes back, she gives me no hint about where she's been. I don't know what to think."

"She's having trouble sleeping. You know how she likes to go for walks."

"Does she? Since when?" he grunted.

After a quick dig through a basket in the top kitchen cabinet, I found a half-full bottle of Pepto, Ava's morning sickness relief, and I chugged it.

"Has she called you?" My question was dumb; of course she hadn't called him.

Rory scoffed at me and then followed the noise up with a look to me as if I was a complete idiot. "Has she called _you_?" he asked bitterly, knowing that if she needed someone, I am still the first person that Julia would call.

"Ava had nightmares last night," I murmured, realizing immediately that my comment had had nothing to do with anything but I was desperate for a change in conversation.

The sound of coffee percolating and the open refrigerator door helped me hide my desperation as I rummaged about gathering eggs, milk and orange juice.

The whoosh of the glass door opening was followed by Julia's perfect accent, "Bloody hell, Rory, where have you been? I've been looking for you!"

Julia's entrance surprised and distracted me, and the plastic bottle of orange juice slipped from my full arms and smacked the hard kitchen floor. The impact sent the bottle cap flying and the ice-cold juice poured out at my bare feet.

" _Me_? Where were _you_?" Rory shouted.

"Didn't Ari tell you?"

"Did Ari tell me what? No! He's acting like a complete moron! What's going on?"

I stood frozen, barefoot in a pool of orange juice.

"Ari!" Julia stomped her foot and smiled at me. She was fully dressed in her own clothes, her hair was done, her makeup perfect. "Rory, I was here! I thought Ari called you!"

"What the hell, Ari!" Rory turned to me and I remained in the juice with my jaw hanging open and my eyes too wide.

"Uh." I blinked.

Rory ground his teeth.

Julia _tsked_ , stepped over the juice and flopped her purse on the countertop. "I was here." She kissed Rory's angry frown. "I couldn't sleep. I swear, I tossed and turned for hours, so I went for a walk up the beach – you know I do that sometimes. Anyway, the rain came out of nowhere and I was nearly struck by lightning! I was soaking wet. Thank goodness Ari still leaves a key by the cactus, because I didn't have my own keys or my cell. I came in here and heard Ava and Max both screaming in their sleep. Ari was running around in the dark house like a goon and found me. He got me a pair of dry clothes and then rushed off, promising to call you to tell you I was headed home. Why didn't you call him, Ari?"

Completely speechless, I stared dumbfounded at her.

"What _ever_." She moved past the breakfast bar and pulled open a drawer filled with coffee mugs. She poured a cup for herself and one for Rory and then helped herself to cream and sugar.

"Is that true, Ari?"

"Uh." My head bobbed in what could have been construed as a yes or no.

"For Christ's sake, Ari! Quit acting like a spaz!" Julia walked past the spill and joined Rory at the breakfast bar, kissing him again and messing his short hair with her fingers.

"Daddy, eww!" The squeal came from Max, who had spotted the mess on the floor. Ava, held him at her hip and stood just outside the kitchen with her head tilted to the side.

"I spilt."

"We can see that," Ava laughed at me and then came to my rescue, mopping the sticky mess from the floor, tossing the empty plastic container in the recycling bin and handing me a wet rag to clean my feet.

"Ari, you look awful. You're really pale. Sit. I'll make something easy for breakfast. How about toast or oatmeal?"

"Toast." I agreed and she kissed my forehead and then poured me a cup of coffee.

"I think it's supposed to rain all day," Julia frowned at the weather and stared out the window. "What do you want to do today, Rory?"

"Honestly Babe, I've had one of the worst nights of my life. I really just want to go home and spend the rest of the day with you in our room. Maybe we can talk about some things and then watch that movie you keep blabbing about."

" _Love is Eternal_?!"

"Gah, sure, whatever makes you happy." He shrugged with another grunting noise.

Julia stood from her stool next to Rory and scooped up her purse, flinging it over her shoulder. "Sounds perfect. Let's go then. Thanks for the coffee, Ari. See ya Monday. Bye Ava! Kisses for Aunt Jules, Max?"

Max stuck his tongue out at her but happily gave Rory a high five.

Rory didn't speak to me. He only stood up from his stool, pushed the mug across the island and then kissed Ava on the cheek, giving her shoulder a squeeze. "I'll never understand how you deal with him."

"Bye, Roar." Ava gave him an indulgent smile and hot toast popped from the toaster.

For once, Rory's idea was actually a good one. I wanted more than anything to lock myself away at home with Ava and Max for the remainder of the rainy weekend. We did have plans with the whole family on sailing out to Catalina Island and I had promised to take Max snorkeling. One look at the choppy waves told me that plan was not going to happen; he was sure to be disappointed.

Biting into my dry toast, I pushed all thoughts of Julia out of my mind. She had left me in a whirlwind of confusion. The night before, she hadn't been able to stop the tears from flowing down her cheeks and the emotion from cracking her voice. She had dredged up pointless old conversations and had left me scared that somehow Ava would find out who I was. Then, a scant several hours later, she had danced through the door acting chipper and nonchalant. I saw no coherence in her behavior. She had done a fair job of making me look like a complete and utter fool and Rory would not forgive me for quite a while, I knew.

"I'm gonna grab a shower." I pushed my coffee cup away from my plate.

"Are you alright, Ari?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine. I won't take long. Maybe we can do some couch time, too?"

"Definitely, whatever you'd like."

"You're so sweet." Unable to resist, I kissed her perfectly pink lips.

****

The three of us settled down together in the den on the huge sectional sofa in front of the giant flat screen. Max chose the first movie and we spent ninety minutes watching the newest popular kids' show, a heartfelt tale about some likeable cartoon dog and his best friend, a very unrealistic looking cartoon flea. I thought the movie was just on the edge of bearable as far as kids' movies went, but at the ending, Ava cried.

"Are you seriously crying?" I teased her and ruffled her hair.

"It was sad."

"It was not! They were reunited and lived happily ever after as parasite and host, it's really gross if you think about it."

Ava wiped an errant tear from the top of her cheek and sniffled. "Blame it on hormones then."

"I'd say." I pushed off the sofa.

"Where are you going?"

"I need a drink, I'm gonna grab a glass of water."

"Ooh, get me something – like an iced tea? Oh, and some popcorn."

"Popsicle!" Max hollered.

"And bring that bag of peanut butter M&Ms with you, too."

"Anything else?" I hid a smile.

"Do we still have those salted caramels from the candy shop we went to in Oceanside?"

"I'll check."

"Thanks, if not, bring the Oreos."

"The whole package?"

"Mmm... yeah." Her head bobbed swiftly.

"Ok, so, one iced tea, popcorn, peanut butter M&Ms, salted caramels and/or a package of Oreos?"

"Popsicle!"

"And a popsicle."

"You got it. Oh, and don't forget your water."

"Right." My suppressed smile slid up my face into a full grin.

I returned a few minutes later from the kitchen totally loaded down with snacks and drinks.

"You're the best, Ari." Ava scooped a handful of buttery popcorn into her mouth with a crunch. "Your turn to pick a movie."

I perused the movie queue on the TV and thought I picked something we would all enjoy. Turns out, I was wrong. Max was bored within the first ten minutes, moved down to the floor and dumped out a tote full of matchbox cars to play with. Ava finished off the caramels and popcorn then eased her head onto my shoulder. She was asleep with her head in my lap five minutes after that. She woke ten minutes before the movie ended and popped an M&M in her mouth.

"Is it my turn to pick yet?"

"That depends on what you want to watch."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you pick bad movies."

"Oh, please, what _ever_ – your movie is the one that stinks. Give me the remote."

She snatched it from my hand and turned off my movie just as the ending was unwinding.

"You're killing me, Ava."

"Whatever. You know that guy with the scruffy beard was double crossing the agent and was behind the conspiracy the whole time."

"I totally did not know that."

"Oh," she laughed, "I thought it was obvious, sorry."

"Yeah, yeah. What's this movie you want to watch?"

" _La_ Métamorphose. _"_

"Ehh..." I moaned. "A French thing? Really?"

"Please."

"I thought you had already seen Le whatever."

"It's _La_ , Ari, _La_ ,and I haven't seen it yet. I was waiting for you to watch it with me. August said it's really, really good."

"Yeah and Collin said it freaking sucks."

"I want you to watch it with me. Please." Her bottom lip jutted out in a pout.

"You know I can't tell you no so just put the stupid movie on already."

"Yay." She pushed up on my leg and kissed my scruffy cheek.

We watched the movie and she laughed at parts that I didn't know were funny, gasped when things happened that I didn't understand and in the end, she cried again.

"Wow. Wasn't that just _so_ good?"

"Uh, I'm not sure. French people are weird."

"Ari!" She elbowed me energetically in the ribs.

"You aren't French, you 're Greek -- you can't take offence to that comment."

"What didn't you like about the movie?"

"There was so much going on in the picture that I had a difficult time reading all the subtitles. My eyes didn't know where to look."

"You'll learn."

"I'd rather not."

"See what happened was ..." Ava explained, with much enthusiasm, all of the parts I had failed to understand. She is so cute when she's passionate about something. Her hands fly around with excitement, her eyes grow wide and her smile beams. "It was just so sweet. You know, how the couple evolved and changed so much. When they first met they were so young, selfish and naïve. It was hard for them to focus on anything but themselves, but as they matured, their personal needs became less important to them and they focused more on their lives together. In the end, they really lived for one another."

"Yeah, you could almost say that they each went through a kind of metamorphosis."

"Exactly!" She didn't get my joke.

The movie marathon had taken up our whole day and by the time we emerged from the den, it was time for dinner.

"What should we cook?" I pulled open the pantry doors.

"I dunno. I don't really feel like eating."

"Imagine that. Well, I do feel like eating. In fact, I'm starving and so is Max and I think it is best that you give that baby some kind of something healthy. You need some proper nourishment and protein. How about meatloaf?"

"Bleh. Gag me. No."

"Ok, what about a chef salad, then?"

"Ooh, yummy."

"Good, can you do the lettuce and vegetables and I'll slice up some turkey and ham? Max can get the dressing."

"Deal."

And so, the three of us worked side by side in the kitchen: Ava washed and chopped veggies, I sliced fresh deli meat and Max ferreted items out of the fridge for us and did a great job at finding my favorite croutons in the pantry. Any lingering thoughts of Julia and her strange behavior evaporated as I concentrated on my family. We ate and Ava proposed one more movie, one that both of us actually wanted to watch. Max went down for the night, we wrapped ourselves up in our own bed with the TV on and the movie playing and we both were asleep before the ending credits.

### Chapter 7

### Fight

The sound came first – loud roaring powerful waves pummeled the earth with anger, wind whistled and pierced my ears on its journey to carve through the tall cliffs. The feeling came second, cool sea-spray hissed and misted my face and a fear, a gut-wrenching, deep-belly, run-for-my-life panic consumed me. Blood pooled behind my ears and my heart hammered with each step I was forced to take. Rocks crunched under my shoes and loose pebbles crumbled down the narrow ledge to the rocky shoreline hundreds of feet below. A fall from this height would kill me and if by some chance I were to make it into the water without hitting the jagged serrated rocks jutting out from the sea like harpoons, the rip current would wrap around my ankles and drag me under and I would never break through to the surface again. Looking ahead, though, I saw images of a future I would rather die than live through, and so I sucked in my final living breath, filled my mind with images of her and I jumped. My fate would be the water, not the rocks.

My body jerked violently awake. I gasped and struggled for breath. I was completely drenched in cold sweat, my body was clenched tight and every muscle strained and pleaded for oxygen.

" _Holy shit_. Ava... Ava!" Nothing. No sweet body pinning me down and nestling into my chest. No half-pout and melting eyes turned to me. Feeling around on the shapeless pile of pillows and blankets next to me, I found nothing. She was gone.

Exhaustion blurred my eyes and my hazy, unfocused vision took in grey muted light from the window and told me dawn was here.

"Ava?" I called out to her, but got no response. My fingers fumbled around searching the nightstand for my cell phone. They hit the lamp and it tottered for moment before settling back in place and still I came back empty handed. My mouth was dry and my tongue felt like rough sandpaper. I moaned and rolled my face into the pillow while my hand kept up its blind search for my watch. Still nothing.

"Come _on,_ " I groaned, complaining apparently to no one. Finally, my fingers traced the outline of my glasses. I stretched to grab them and then sat up. A light from the bathroom was on and I got up and knocked on the door.

"Ava? Baby, I had a... Christ, it was a nightmare. Anyway, it scared the shit out of me. Come back to bed. I need you."

Nothing.

"Ave?"

I pushed the door open to find that she wasn't there, sighed and began my search for her. Max was in his bed, still asleep, the office was empty and so was the nursery room and hall bath. The living room down below was quiet. I walked down the steps to the kitchen – she wasn't there. She wasn't in the laundry room or on the sun porch or by the deck either. I found her car in the garage. Back in the house, I rounded the kitchen again and I focused on the countertop and on a torn piece of notebook paper with Ava's girly scrawl dotted across the page.

"Off for a morning run. See you soon! XO."

"God damn it!" My molars crunched behind my ears.

Dashing back to the bedroom, I tossed open the closet doors to find that her running shoes were gone. A quick yank to the top drawer in her bedside table showed her ear buds were gone too and so was her cell. She was alone on the beach and I was blindsided by my anger with her. Memories of the week she had been missing the summer before flooded my mind and I stormed and paced the hall and waited for her to come home.

The door opened and then closed again.

"Hey!" Ava called out to me and walked to the sink to chug a tall glass of water. Beads of sweat ran down her neck and her face was nearly red from the heat. She beamed at me with a bright, happy smile.

"Were you on the beach?" I snapped. I didn't need an answer. I knew she had run on the beach.

Her smile faltered a touch. "Yeah. I thought I should get a run in after my pig-out yesterday."

"I thought I told you not to do that anymore."

She blinked at me.

"Running. The Beach. Alone. Damn it Ava, don't do it again. How many times do I have to tell you?"

"It was just a quickie – no big deal."

"It _is_ a big deal. You can't do that crap! God, something could happen to you. I can't live through that again. Do you have any idea the hell I went through last year? Huh? Do you?!"

"Yes. I'm sure it was torture for you."

Her words hit me hard. Of course I had been beside myself with worry about her when she was taken hostage, but my pain had been nothing compared to the ordeal that she narrowly lived through. Her scars are an everyday reminder that she is and will always be stronger than I could ever dream of being.

"Baby, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that," I softened.

"Forget it." She went to push past me and I put my hand on her shoulder to stop her.

"Ava... I'm an idiot. I worry so much about you – you know that. If I lose you, I die."

"It's just running, Ari." She tried to push past me again.

"If you want to run, call my mom, she'll be happy to go to the gym with you. They have security there, you know? If you want to do a beach run, Rory is free on Wednesday evenings, you can schedule something with him."

"Lucky me." Ava ran her fingers through her ponytail and a gleam of sunlight hit my watch face and glinted in my eyes. She was wearing my watch. It wasn't just any watch, it was all that was left of someone very special to me. It was mine.

I locked my hand around her wrist. "Why are you wearing my watch?" I was pissed again.

"Mine broke."

I moved her arm around exposing her tattooed wrist and began to unclasp the worn leather band. "I see. Well, this one is _mine_."

"I was just borrowing it for the run. I didn't think you would mind."

"You were very wrong."

Her eyes narrowed and her lips tightened in a frown.

I pointed to her clothes. "You wear my shirts," I tugged at the hem of my boxer shorts that she was wearing, "you wear my underwear. You steal my blankets and hog my pillows." Her frown turned into an angry scowl. "You eat the food off my plate and drink the last sip of every drink I pour for myself. You came into my life and took over every little thing that's mine. Could you just leave the stupid watch alone?"

"Fine." Her eyes were moist.

Slipping the worn band off her wrist, I began to tighten it in place around my own. "No running alone anymore, _period_. It isn't safe. We won't have this conversation again." I told her sternly, and she found a way to brush past me, leave the kitchen and run up the stairs. The bedroom door shut quickly behind her.

" _Crap_." Looking down at my watch, I saw that I was late for work – _big surprise_. I followed Ava into the bedroom and as soon as I opened the door, she tossed my cell phone at me. Only then did I remember that she had had it stowed away all weekend.

"I forgot to charge it." Her tone was very clipped and unhappy. She walked away towards the bathroom, shoulders tense and straight and unyielding, and I followed her again.

"I'll charge it when I get to work. I have to go... I love you."

"I don't care when you charge it." She turned on the shower.

"Can I have a kiss before I go?"

"Are you sure it's safe?" she snapped.

"Ava," I sighed. "Don't be like that."

"Bye, Ari." She slipped into the shower without another word.

****

My drive to the office was brutal. The highway was bumper-to-bumper traffic. The hot July sun beat down on the pavement and bounced off the mirrors of the cars ahead of me, blinding me. A headache started in one temple and very quickly spread throughout my whole head. The smell of asphalt cooking in the sun assaulted my already queasy stomach. I jumped back and forth between feeling bad for treating Ava the way that I had and then being pissed at her for running on that damn beach after I have told her not to countless times.

By the time I arrived to the parking lot of the _baio_ building, I was mad at her again. I stormed through the entry with only a quick nod to the security guard and then jabbed my finger on the elevator call button. The doors responded promptly and opened on cue and the elevator whisked me up to the twenty-second floor. I stepped one foot into the lobby and was immediately reminded of Fauna and the fact that she had given her resignation notice the week earlier. Sputtering some excuse about finally pursuing her life's obsession.

The lobby was filled with nervous women sitting cross-legged on the chic but uncomfortable chairs and couches as they awaited their interview slot with human resources. I was spotted right away and a quick gasp from one of the applicant's mouths alerted the others of my presence and each one of them stared and smiled at me while I walked passed. I mustered up a semi-polite nod in the group's general direction. My line of sight quickly scanned the room. I saw not one man and there was no way any of the applicants could have possibly been over the age of twenty-five. Not that age and gender mattered, but it sure would make life with Ava a heck of lot easier if I could just find a bald, fat man for an assistant.

Cutting through the lobby, I moved quickly through the central office and made it to the back corner of my department.

"Good morning, Boss." Fauna was way too chipper for first thing in the morning.

"When's the final meeting?" I snapped taking my anger with Ava out on Fauna, who, by now, was entirely used to my mood swings.

"Oh," Fauna's smiled faded, "Margaux cancelled that, she's out again today. I sent you a message and I updated the calendar and then sent the update to your phone. You didn't get it?"

"Phone's dead." I pulled the cell from my suit pocket and slid it to her across her desk. "Borrow a charger from someone in the office and plug it in for me."

"Sure."

"Once there is enough power, check the messages and email them to me. Do you remember my password?"

"Yes, I remember."

"I'm starting negotiations for contracts today. Get the agency on the line so we can discuss Miss Comis. Set up a meeting here. I'm not going back there again for any conversation. Then pull the final report from marketing from last week – I haven't approved that yet and I am not giving up without a fight. I don't care if that is what Margaux wants, this isn't about her. I need you to get me a list of the hotels to be used for Fashion Week and I need that itinerary for the conference by the end of the day today. Call Zach in the Chicago office and have him email the final list of participants and get with Piper to book the flights. I have dry cleaning ready to be picked up – use my credit card and you can take my car. My keys will be on my desk."

"Alright."

"And hold all calls from my family." I turned to walk towards my office.

"What about Ava?"

"I don't expect to hear from her today. Plan on working late tonight." I closed my office door and then frosted the glass walls with the press of a button on my desktop.

My headache intensified, pain radiated through my skull, my pulse throbbed in my eyes and pressure built and pushed at the backs of my eye-sockets. My neck and shoulders were a boiling pot of unreleased tension.

I worked only to keep my mind occupied and away from Ava. Thoughts of that stupid nightmare played at the back of my eyes until I finally squashed the dark unforgivable images and pushed them away with no further consideration. My God-forsaken phone rang off the hook all through the morning and Fauna's disembodied voice echoed and re-echoed through the speaker announcing asshole after asshole I'd have to pretend to be buddies with in order to cut a deal.

A light knock was followed by Fauna and then she hesitantly walked in to the entryway of my office. "Yvette requested that you sit in on some interviews today."

"Yvette wants me to sit in on interviews?" I rubbed the pads of my fingers across the bridge of my nose, bumping up my glasses.

"Yes. You know – for your assistant position."

My phone started to ring again.

"Yvette in HR?" my jaw clenched in annoyance.

Fauna nodded and looked at me, unsure.

"Remind Yvette that as a member of the human resources department it is _her_ job to conduct the interviews, not _mine_. What good would it be for me to waste my entire day listening to a bunch of idiots explain that their greatest strength is also their greatest weakness? I don't care who the hell sits at that stupid desk out there as long as they know how to answer the God damn phone!" My phone continued to ring. I grabbed the receiver with a white-knuckle grip, picked it up and then slammed it back down, hard, hanging up on the caller and silencing the noise.

Fauna's lips pressed together in a firm scowl, her eyes were wide and her back was rigid. She was ready to turn around on me and rip out my throat. Ava would have. If I were anyone else speaking to her that way, Fauna would have yelled back, but I wasn't just anyone. For one more week, I was still her boss. She blinked an angry blink and turned, placing her hand on the door handle.

"I'll let Yvette know you aren't interested in joining her and I'll pass along your requirements for the position."

I should have apologized right then, but I didn't. Instead, I continued to stew and I reviewed a page long list of voicemail messages Fauna had copied from my cell phone and emailed to me early in the afternoon. I had a dozen messages, a few from my Mom wondering if we were coming over for Sunday dinner. I didn't return the call because she had called Ava's cell too and Ava had explained that we were staying home. I had a message from Nick that I likely wouldn't return. Sonja Juog, a sales representative from the Beverly Hills _Harry Winston_ called to thank me for my most recent purchase and reminded me that if I needed anything further she would be more than happy to assist me. Then I reviewed messages from Julia. "I need to talk to you... Call me back a.s.a.p... Why aren't you answering your phone... Ari, this is important..." Lastly, was a message from Rory telling me he hated me, that I had no respect for him and then reminding me that I was an asshole.

"Mr. Alexander?" Fauna spoke again from the intercom. "Mrs. Harris from L.A. Models is here to see you."

"Send her in." My head pulsed.

"Ari, darling, hello!" She kissed the air.

"Have a seat." I wasn't in the mood for any pleasantries and immediately got down to business discussing the contract of _baio's_ long time lead model, Nadiah Comis. The conversation turned ugly in a matter of minutes and super-agent Corina Harris left my office in a mood that closely resembled my own.

Another knock was followed by the opening of my office door. "Hey, you."

I looked up in surprise.

"Fauna wasn't at her desk so I just showed myself back. Sorry I'm running a bit late."

"Late for what, Julia? What are you doing here?"

"You said we could talk over lunch... I called your office this morning but someone hung up on me. I haven't been able to get through to you all day."

"I don't want to speak with you after all. Whatever it is that you think you are doing, leave me out of it. You made me look like an idiot yesterday. Rory is furious with me. You made me look like a liar, Julia. I don't want to play these games. You can head back home now – I don't have time for this."

"What? I drove here on fumes. I skipped therapy to meet you." Her voice was delicate and strained with emotion.

Looking up from the pile of contracts sitting on my desk, I stared at Julia. Her hair was in a sloppy ponytail, short unkempt strands slipped from the elastic hair tie and fell around her ears and the back of her neck. She had on no makeup and the soft skin just under her eyes was pink and slightly swollen from tears shed earlier in the day. She fidgeted with her car keys.

"Sit down," I sighed.

Her shoulders sloped and she turned and sank into a chair across the desk from me.

"First of all, never skip therapy. Dr. Najib does you more good than I do."

Julia nodded.

"Can you reschedule for later today?"

"I'll call and see."

"Good." I leaned my elbows on my desktop. "Have you been taking your prescription?"

My question made her uncomfortable and she fidgeted some more. "Yeah, for the most part. He changed it on me and I'm still adjusting to the new pills."

_Ah_.

"Lay it on me. What's bothering you? What the hell is going on?"

"It's nothing." Her voice cracked. Again, I had no tissues to offer and after a quick rummage through my desk drawer, I uncovered a few unused napkins from a takeout restaurant down the road from the _baio_ building. I extended the napkin to her and she promptly swiped it from my fingers and blotted the corners of her eyes. Julia looked around the room, noted the frosted glass that ensured our privacy and then stared across the desk from me. She sucked in a breath then exhaled. Her lips trembled as she started to talk, "I have to tell you something."

"Alright, what?"

She shook her head from side to side in thought, causing more wisps of hair to dislodge from the band. "No one can know that you found out."

"You can trust me."

"I know." She blotted her eyes once more. "You, um... God Ari, I don't know how to say this." She looked down and once again fiddled with the bracelet. A new, clean Band-Aid stuck tightly to her pale, delicate skin on the underside of her wrist.

"Start from the beginning."

"I've been... talking with some people and I'm not really supposed to be here but I think you should know that you were wrong..."

"What are we talking about here, Julia?"

"I..." she swallowed hard, "Ari, you are..."

Another knock was followed by the opening of my door.

"I'm in a meeting," I hollered before the person turned the corner.

"Oops, sorry Ari, this won't take but a second."

"Now is not a good time, Yvette."

"I just want to introduce you to one of the applicants for the assistant position, she flew all the way here to meet with us today. She is one of Margaux's picks..."

I stood from my chair, "I am very busy right now."

Yvette continued barging into my office. Behind her was a redhead with a big smile framed in glossy lipstick.

"Ari, this is Lirik Nino."

Julia gasped and locked eyes with the redhead.

Lirik, meet Ari Alexander. He is our CFO here at _baio_. If everything goes right, he'll be the one you report to."

"I am so excited and thrilled to finally meet you."

"It's a pleasure to meet you too, Miss Nino, but right now is a very bad time." I turned to escort the two women from my office. "Best of luck to you. I am sure we will meet again on a better schedule." I ushered them out of the door and into the side lobby just off my office where Fauna sat.

"Miss Korie?"

"Yes?" Fauna stood from her chair.

"No more interruptions, please."

"Of course. I'm sorry. I was on the phone working through the itinerary with Zach and they must have snuck past." Fauna gave the red head an angry eyed stare down.

Yvette huffed in annoyance and she and the applicant walked back towards the conference room.

"Whoa, hold it. Where are you going?"

"I have to leave." Julia flew down the hall and her flip-flops smacked the bottoms of her heals with each rushed step she took.

"We aren't done talking about this, Julia."

"Sorry, Ari, but I can't." She flung her purse over her shoulder and brushed passed me through the doorway that leads to the main lobby.

"Julia, get back here now!"

She ignored me and disappeared into an elevator.

"God, this day cannot get any worse." I mumbled and took off down the hallway after Julia.

Pounding on the elevator call button more times than necessary, I knew my efforts were pointless. Julia was gone. Reaching the lobby in a second elevator, I wove through an ocean of warm bodies and then exited onto the hot blacktop parking lot. The narrow, yellow-lined slots of the _baio_ visitor parking spaces were all full except for one. Her tires squealed at the far corner stop light.

I turned and looked back to the building just as the door opened and the redhead walked out.

"Oh!" She smiled with a sort of eager delight. "Mr. Alexander. Hi."

I nodded, hoping that would be enough of a greeting but knowing beforehand that it was not.

"I am sorry about earlier, you know for barging in on your meeting. I want you to know that I normally wouldn't behave that way. It is just, Margaux was eager for us to meet. I hope it doesn't reflect too poorly on me. I really..."

I waved a lazy, pardoning palm at the air space around her. My head was due to explode any moment and her incessant rambling was not helping matters. "Please. Forget about it."

"Mr. Alexander, are you alright?" The redhead cocked her head slightly to the left, the tight, white skin around her eyes barely made a crease. Her freckles danced with the slight scrunch of her small nose.

"I'm fine. And, it's just Ari."

"OK, Just Ari. It was a real pleasure meeting you."

"Uh, you, too..."

"Lirik Nino. Lirik like a song."

"Ok, Lirik Like A Song. It was nice meeting you, too."

She smiled too brightly.

### Chapter 8

### Need

"Hey, I'm home," I called out to anyone who might be interested, closed the garage door that led to the kitchen and dropped my car keys in a little bowl on the counter top.

"Ava? Max?"

A loud crack of a baseball smacking off a bat pulled my attention into the living room. The broadcasters offered a play by play and I leaned in and shut off the TV. Quieting the house.

They were curled up together on the sofa, both of them sound asleep. A discarded children's book was draped across Ava's chest and Max's face was nestled into her neck. His body snaked around her protruding bump and his leg hitched over both of hers and sloped down off the sofa. My shoulders dropped in disappointment. Although his bedtime had passed a long time ago, I had a glimmer of hope that I would at least be able to spend a little bit of time with Max before bed. Instead, I eased him into my arms, careful not to wake him, and carried him up the steps, down the hall and into his room.

As soon as his head met the pillow, he curled onto his side and shoved his thumb into his mouth. Ava would have taken his hand away from his mouth and tucked his fingers under his pillow to help him break the thumb-sucking habit, but I left him alone. She was probably right to discourage his thumb-sucking but I liked to watch him be little and innocent. He won't go to college sucking his thumb, I always told her. I kissed his head and his plump cheek, covered him with his blankets, pulled myself away and closed his door.

Ava's laptop was in the office, her House to Home site pulled up and open. I minimized her work, took her laptop to our bedroom and brought up my baio applications and email program. I unloaded the pile of documents I had brought home for review onto the bed, stripped down to my underwear and set a gift I was debating even giving Ava on my nightstand.

"Baby?" She didn't budge even after a gentle shake to her shoulder so I balanced her in my arms and, as carefully as I could, I carried her to bed. I tried to ease her onto her own pillow but after I rolled her out of my arms, her hand gripped my shirt at my chest, she nuzzled her face back into my neck and breathed in deep.

"Hold me," she mumbled in her sleep and tried to wrap her body around me as I bent awkwardly over the side of the mattress. I glanced down towards the footboard where the laptop sat propped open next to a stack of paper that was as thick as an encyclopedia and hesitated.

After trying to unclasp her hand from my shirt, I felt Ava's grip tighten. Her eyelids were squeezed firmly shut and her face was twisted and pinched.

Oh, crap, a nightmare...

Ava started to thrash, and as usual when her dreams get to that stage, I started to panic. In one swift move, I wrapped her up against me and held her in bed. My arms around her tightened and I tried to keep her from moving too violently. I always worry that she will hurt herself and now I worry for the baby, too. Ava started to cry, hot tears streamed down her round cheeks and whimpers broke loose from her throat. Shushing her, I told her over and over again that I am there for her, that I love her and that I am sorry. She sobbed and held fistfuls of her own hair and pulled. I couldn't drag her from the depths of her mind. No amount shaking or pleading could render her conscious and free her from her hell.

Ava has different types of nightmares and in our time shared together, I have learned to be able to tell them apart. Some are quite a bit more severe than others. She relives the death of her of mother, but with decreasing frequency. I had noticed that her dreams of Lucy were limited mostly to around the holidays, when memories are active and when those we miss most are most with us.

She has grown to accept also the dreams that satisfy her role as a fate – the constant pacing up and down dim corridors, listening to the pleas of the petitioners for death and choosing the next life that is due to end. To say that the emotional stress of cutting a thread is difficult is to engage in understatement, but that stress is who she is.

A tear may slip down her cheek in the middle of the night when it is time to say goodbye to someone new, but that feeling is nothing compared to the dreams that take her back to the Kakos. The lifelike images that bring her back to the torture she endured with Damion and the memories of guns, nooses, knives, poison and fire are agony for her. The flashbacks are a main feature of her dreaming mind and I have come to dread them. But lately something new and profoundly dark has been stirring inside her and it is these dreams, the nightmare that I'd one day stop loving her, that terrify me most.

Hours passed and the tears continued to roll. I was wet, my shirt suctioned and clung to my skin. Ava's damp hair lay matted down her neck. I never let go of her, not for a single moment. I couldn't stand the thought of making her endure her sadness alone. She kicked and I only pulled her closer, she choked out cries and I kissed her tightly shut eyes, her pinched lips and deeply creased forehead. I talked to her all night, whispering in her ear that I loved her and that I was there for her. I would always be there for her.

Just as quickly as her nightmare hit, it ended, and Ava's eyes blinked open in shock.

"You're here," she murmured.

"I am here."

"I need you." Ava's breath was ragged and her heart thumped in her chest like a ticking bomb. Her hands moved down my body in a frantic, desperate pursuit. "I need you, Ari."

"Shhh... I'm here."

Her fists clutched at the hem of my shirt and she yanked it off me.

"Whoa. Ava, slow down."

She smashed her lips against mine and thrust her tongue in my mouth. Her fingers knotted in my hair and she pulled my head back, keeping me in place.

"I need you now," she panted.

"I am yours. Take me. Every part of me belongs to you."

She pushed me back against the mattress and took whatever she needed from me. Her wet cheek pressed against my own and new tears lined the brim of her long, dark lashes. She made silent and verbal demands from my body like never before. Her body moved against mine in a perfectly measured rhythm and her gasps became more labored and intense. Her nails scratched down my chest, my palms cupped her warm curves and I kissed the soft skin around her shoulder to the dip of collarbone. We were one body and one soul. Her eyes stared into mine, our hands clasped together tightly and the flesh just above our hearts met so closely that no light could ever push through. Our passion exploded into a gentle wave of emotion and pleasure, my teeth clenched down with the intensity of my desire and Ava collapsed into my arms, hot, breathless and replete.

She eased down onto her side, slid into the nook of my arm and propped her hardened tummy onto mine. Our hearts pounded together in unison.

"Holy shit, Ava! Where the heck did that come from?" I puffed out my words and tried to catch my breath.

Ava is a flirt – she can seduce me with a simple look – but she has always relied on me to me to make the next move. As coquettish as she can be, she is twice as shy and truly introverted. Getting her to tell me what she wants from me in bed is usually a challenge. This night had been a historical event.

The very tops of her cheeks turned a darker shade of pink and she drew on my bare skin with her fingertip. Her touch was gentle and made my nerve endings dance and crave even more of her.

"Seriously?" Rolling slightly to my side, I moved to face her and wound our legs up together. "After that you're going to be self-conscious?"

She chewed on the corner of her mouth and gave a small shrug. "I don't know what overcame me. I just really wanted you. All of you."

I twirled my wedding band on my left ring finger. "Baby, I am yours. My body belongs to you and you can have it whenever you want for whatever you need."

Her fingertip continued to trace a path on the skin just above my heart. One jagged line formed that rose into two tall pointed cliffs with a deep v-shaped valley between them. Like the line that follows the bleeps on a heart monitor. She traced her design on my skin, erased the lines with her palm and then did it again and again and again.

"What is that?"

"Hmm?" She blinked up at me and her finger continued its path.

Line up. Line down. Line further down and then back up. Line up. Line down and down again. Line back up again.

"Your doodle?"

"My name. A..." she said and drew the first tall pointy cliff, "V," her finger sank down low into the valley and "A," she finished the line with another mountain top.

"So you're branding me?" I teased.

"Mmm. You're mine." Her lips curved upward, but the smile didn't reach her eyes. My own fingers traced the pretty, tattooed skin on her arm.

"You were very angry at me today." My nose nuzzled through her thick waves of hair to her ear. I breathed her in as deeply as my chest would allow and held on to her until my lungs burned. She always smells so good, like warm rain and midnight. If baio could bottle her, we would make a fortune. "I was very angry at you, too."

"I still am mad at you, Ari." She pushed away from me and left me cold and exposed.

"Wait a minute," I said, grabbing her and moving her back into my arms. "Did you just use me for sex then?"

"I guess I did. How did it feel?" Her eyes twinkled and I knew she wasn't as mad as she was pretending to be.

"It felt really, really good, but that's beside the point."

"I need to be me, Ari. I don't want to lose out on life because I am afraid of living. It was just a run."

"I want you to be safe only because I love you so much. I cannot stand the thought of someone hurting you."

"You hurt me," she pointed out ... and my soul ached.

"I don't want to hurt you. I'm sorry if that is how you feel."

"It is how I feel. I don't want to be controlled. I won't be."

"You're right. But please, I cannot lose you. Please be safe."

"I always am. And I'm sorry too, about taking over your life, wearing your shirts and stealing your blankets. I had no idea I was bothering you so much."

"Whoa, no, no, no. I don't feel that way at all. Although it is annoying when you snag the last fry from my plate after you've said ten times that you aren't hungry... I love us. I love how comfortable we are with each other. You look sexy in my underwear and adorable when you borrow my glasses to read when you're tired. And you seriously looked really hot wearing my watch, but it is mine. That watch is special to me and if it is ever lost or broken, I want that loss to be my fault, not yours. I want to have only myself to blame."

"Ok. I understand." She yawned. "I love us, too. We're cute."

"Still mad?"

Ava shook her head from side to side. "No."

"Good. Me either." I reached across her and grabbed the bag holding the gift I was still uncertain about giving her. "For you."

"What's this?" She propped herself up on an elbow and leaned toward me.

"A gift. I ended up with some free time on my lunch and bought it for you today."

She hesitated with crooked, pinched lips.

"You have to at least open it."

She gave in and, after removing the layers of tissue paper, unearthed a Harry Winston watch case. Ava popped open the lid and her pinched lips dropped down to a frown.

"What's wrong? You don't like it? You can go in yourself and pick out something else. Whatever you'd like. I just thought this one was perfect for you. This is from The Ocean Collection but they have other collections to choose from. I'll have my assistant schedule you an appointment with the jeweler ..."

"Ari, that's not it. This is too nice. I don't need something like this. I don't want you buying me all these things. I don't need this stuff, I need only you. As long as I have you, I am happy."

"You are my wife and the mother of my children. You deserve the best and I will buy you silly things like this forever, so get used to it. I want you to be happy. Do you like it or not?"

"The watch is very pretty. Of course I like it, Ari. This is exactly what I would have chosen for myself. But really, just having you is what makes me the happiest."

"Good." I took the Harry Winston watch from its case and secured the band around Ava's wrist.

She yawned again and admired the detail on the watch face and the rose gold buckle. "Thank you."

"You are most welcome. What time is it anyway?"

"Very late."

"Can you sleep now or do you want me to stay up with you?"

Ava leaned in, kissed the corner of my mouth and then gestured to the laptop, which had been kicked and pushed down towards the corner of the mattress. My paperwork was spread out along the blankets in a scattered disorganized mess. "Looks like you plan on staying up anyway."

"I was going to catch up on work, but I'm not anymore. I'm tired and I'd like to sleep, if you are able. I would like very much to hold you some more."

Ava smiled a sweet genuine smile and scooted back down into my arms. Her head settled on my chest and her eyelashes tickled my skin each time she blinked. She shoved her ice cold toes between my legs.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" I asked, afraid that I would fall asleep before she did and not wake to her cries from another nightmare.

"Mmm..." she nodded a slight nod. "Why do you ask me?"

"You woke from a nightmare. It was a bad one, too. You were terribly sad and I didn't know what to do to help you."

"Oh."

"What was it?"

"It's nothing."

"Don't lie to me, Ava."

She didn't say anything more and her eyelashes stilled when she fell asleep.

I watch her the way some may count sheep, or pray. I smoothed back her hair, lacing the silky stands through my fingertips and kissed the top of her head seemingly a hundred times or more. My mind took me back to my own nightmare from that very morning and, although the images seemed to have come to me ages ago, they rattled my mind to its very core.

### Chapter 9

### A Goodbye

"Morning, Fauna." My knuckles rapped on the top of my assistant's desk.

"Ohh!" she wailed. "Don't do that! You're gonna make me cry!"

"Oh, right last day, huh? You know you don't have to leave. They haven't hired anyone to replace you yet. We can pretend this whole resignation thing never happened."

"I do have to leave. And, yes, they have hired my replacement."

"Oh? News to me."

"You said you wanted to stay out of the hiring process remember?"

"Yeah, but that was when I was in a bad mood. Things I say when I am in a bad mood don't count -- you know that."

"Well, it's too late. Yvette offered some woman the position and she accepted. She is relocating and everything."

"Do you know anything about this person?"

"No. You're the one who met her. Remember?"

"Did I?"

"She starts Monday, you can figure it all out then."

"Monday? That fast?"

Fauna held up her palms and shrugged.

"Ok, so what's on my agenda for your last day?"

She rattled off a page-long list of meetings and conference calls I would have to endure and I barely listened as I backpedaled away to my office.

My morning was spent holed away and I bored myself near to tears by settling more contracts and paying travel expenses. I finally cut myself a well overdue overtime check and then sat in the longest conference call meeting of my life. In the meeting, I gave a quick five-minute chat concerning some figures and then put myself on mute. While I resisted the urge to bang my head on the desk, I pulled up my email to check my messages. Three missed calls from my mother and two from August.

The conference call ended and the real work began.

"Oh! So you are alive!"

"Hi, Ma."

"Ari!" She whined and I could hear her stomp her foot on her kitchen floor at the same time.

"Ma!" I mimicked her whiny noise and playfully thumped my fist on my desk.

"You didn't come by the house on Sunday -- I made your favorite dinner and everything. You haven't stopped by to say hello once this week. I left several messages for you with Fauna. Does that girl ever tell you that I call? Hopefully, the next girl knows how to use a pen and a pad of paper."

"I get all of my messages."

"So you just choose to ignore me then!?"

"Now you're catching on..."

"Ari!" She whined again and I leaned back in my chair in preparation for a long, drawn-out conversation about the weather, or my father's poor eating habits, or how she spotted Max wearing a wrinkly shirt and how she can't image why Ava won't ever iron.

"I went with Ava to her doctor's appointment today." She said.

"That's nice."

"It was nice. I got to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time."

"Pretty cool, huh?"

"Oh, wow, yes. I cried."

"Me too."

"Ava had another anxiety attack, Ari." She dropped a bomb.

"What the hell!" I shot up in my seat and screamed into the line at her. "Why are you just now telling me this?"

"Excuse me, but I called you three times."

"If you tell Fauna's there's an emergency, she'll put you right through to me -- it's her job."

"It was a small panic attack. I was with her while it happened. We got through the hard parts together. She's alright now. I just wanted to catch you before you got home tonight. I wanted to make sure you were aware of the situation."

"What triggered the attack -- do you know?"

She puffed out a loud, weighty breath, "I don't know. One minute we were talking and then the next thing I know she's... gone... no life in her eyes, struggling to breathe, it was as if Ava had been trapped somewhere deep and scary inside her mind."

"What were you two talking about before the attack happened?"

"Nothing really. I was talking about you and how happy you are to be a father."

"Did you get her some meds?"

"She took some, yeah. The whole thing really frightened Max."

"Christ, he was there?"

"Well, yeah, Ari. He and Ava are always together. Andy had the afternoon off, so after it happened, I called him and he took Max up to the surf shop to try and help get his mind off things. Don't be surprised if Max comes home with his own board."

"So where is Ava now?"

"Home."

"Alone?"

"I just left your house. She really is better. She said she had work to do. I swear I wouldn't have left her if I had thought she wasn't well."

"I'm coming home..."

"No. Give her space. She needs some time to clear her mind."

"How long did the attack last?"

"The bad part lasted no more than five minutes. I hung around for an hour and talked with her while I ironed shirts for you and Max. I waited to see if she was going to have another one but she was acting completely normal."

"She let you iron our clothes?"

"Well she wasn't happy about it but gosh, Ari, someone has to iron and she sure as hell won't do it."

"Ugh. Whatever. Are you sure she's okay?"

"I promise you, she is perfect. I wouldn't have told you about it but I think it's important that you know. I know how you like to call her doctor but I don't think it's necessary this time. Let's see if she has another one before you get him involved."

"Alright. Thanks for taking care of her."

"You know I love her. I would do anything for Ava. Don't get mad, but I made you dinner. It's just spaghetti and some garlic bread, nothing special. You can find it in the fridge next to the milk. The bowl is microwave safe, so you can heat it up and then stick it in the dishwasher when you're finished. Remember, I want the bowl back."

"Thanks. I'll see you this weekend. I promise."

I reached across the desk and ended my call with my mom and as soon as the line was released, another call rang through.

"This is Ari." I answered before Fauna could intercept.

"It's me, August. I called you twice today."

"I got your messages, I've just been busy. What's up?"

"I did it!" He shouted excitedly at me.

"Did what exactly?"

"I took your advice."

"That's not like you, but what advice of mine did you take?"

"I called The Dana Point Institute and told the Dean I'm not coming back for fall semester. Collin and I start our work partnership effective immediately!"

"Wow... I cannot believe you really did it. Congratulations, August."

"Thanks! I'm nervous but this decision feels right and now that the two of us aren't tied down, we can travel and work from the road. I'm not as effective as he is with the programs he runs, but I'm learning and he thinks we can do it! Which is the reason that I am calling you..."

"Why?"

"Well, we'll be leaving..."

"Ohhh."

"And Ava doesn't know yet. We were thinking of taking her out to dinner to break the news. How does the four of us this Saturday at Pow Pow sound? Let's say around seven? I'll make the reservations. I'd really like to talk with her about everything in person."

"When do you plan to leave, exactly?"

"Collin and I both agreed we would stick around until after the baby is born. We'll spend the holidays with your family and then we're off to Paris for the New Year."

"Can you wait a while longer before you tell Ava?"

"Why?"

"Just... she loves you guys and I know she'll be thrilled for you both but she is also going to be upset. I don't want to add the stress to her right now. Can you give it a few weeks? Maybe after her big fundraiser or maybe even after the baby is here?"

"You sure about this?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. House to Home has her really busy and stressed, the pregnancy is wearing her down, her nightmares and anxiety are back. If you can hold off on telling her, I'd really appreciate it."

"Ok, then. I'm on your side, Ari. I'll let Collin know not to say anything and we'll plan to tell Ava... later..."

"Cool. Thanks. And congratulations again, August."

****

"Excuse me, Ari, I'm heading out now."

A quick glance at my computer screen showed me it was five past six.

"Are you sure you're making the right decision?"

"Undoubtedly."

"What is it you are doing exactly?"

"It's silly ... I am just pursuing a... passion."

My eyebrow rose in question making Fauna obligated to elaborate.

"I feel a little cheated. I wasn't supposed to be some girl who answers the phone. I was supposed to be someone else, do something else with my life. This job was never supposed to be a forever thing for me. I got what I needed from the position and it's time to move forward. Thank you for everything."

"You're welcome. Good luck. You worked hard, we're going to miss you around here."

"I'll miss you too, Boss. But I'll be around. Now, I have a huge binder put together for the new girl. It holds the answer to any questions she may have about you and the job. All of the external numbers are listed in there as well as in the computer. I included a detailed sheet of how you like to keep your calendar, appointments, meetings -- everything. Ava is number one on the speed dial and your mother is number two. If there are any questions, I added my cell number so don't hesitate to call... or email me... or you know, whatever."

"Take care, Fauna, and good luck. I hope you get what you want."

"Thank you. I will."

### Chapter 10

### Spaghetti Sandwich

"Baby?"

I slid my shoes off by the mat.

The breakfast bar had remnants of Max's dinner. Half a string cheese, a few broccoli stems and the crust of a turkey sandwich. Apparently, Ava never got the spaghetti message. The sofa was empty aside from a forgotten-about iPad wedged between throw pillows.

"Ava? Baby, I'm home."

My ears perked up at the sound of a baseball game carrying down from the bedroom TV. Baseball is their favorite.

" _There_ you are!"

Ava and Max sat together on our bed. He was lying on his stomach with his arms and legs fanned out in every direction while she rubbed his back and tried to soothe him. His eyes were puffy, red and stained with wet streaks from his tears. "What's the matter?"

"He had a nightmare and now he can't fall back asleep."

I leaned down to kiss Ava and then stripped down to my undershirt and boxers so I could join them in bed. The mattress sank a bit with my weight and I leaned back against the pile of pillows stacked up in front of the headboard.

"Come here, Buddy." Patting my hand on my chest, Max army crawled across the mattress and up my body, sharp little elbows shoving into my flesh. Finally he crawled into my arms. He draped himself over me and pillowed his head in the same dip of my shoulder that Ava sleeps on. "What was the nightmare about this time?" I asked Ava.

"I haven't been able to get him to talk. He won't say anything. I know he's happy you're home though."

"I'm happy I'm home, too. I missed you both." My lips pressed into the top of Max's head a dozen or so times and my legs bounced in a soothing, rocking rhythm. I rubbed Max's back and he sniffled.

"Will you tell me, Max? What did you see?"

He didn't answer me so I talked quietly in his ear telling him over and over again how much I love him.

"I love you, sweet boy. I know what you see sometimes when you sleep is scary, but all you have to do is open your eyes and we will be right here for you. Will you talk to me? Please?"

Max's arms squeezed me tighter and he pushed his face deeper into my shirt, breathing me in, sucking the air away from my skin the same way as Ava.

"You alright, Ava?" I reached out and tucked her under my other arm.

"Mmm hmm."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm good." She wasn't going to tell me about the anxiety attack.

"What was your trigger?"

"Ugh," she sighed. "It wasn't a big deal. The whole ordeal lasted five minutes."

"That's not what I asked."

"Does your mom ever just mind her own business?"

"No. Never."

"I don't know what the trigger was, Ari. I'd tell you if I knew but your mom and I were talking about you and the baby and Max and the next thing I knew, I felt as if I couldn't breathe."

"She said Max was there when it happened." My legs kept their gentle shake and my palm continued to soothe him by slowly sliding up and down his small back. Max's eyelids were heavy and each of his blinks lasted a bit longer than the last one. "She said that it scared him."

"It did scare him. It scared me, too. I'm not a pretty person to be around when an anxiety attack happens."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"You were at work, Ari. What would you have done besides worry about nothing?"

"I could have come home. Work isn't number one or number two or three, I don't even rank the place. You are my number one. You're my whole world. I want to be here for you. Always.

"I was ok. I had my own work to do anyway." She gestured to her open laptop at the foot of the bed. " _And_ I had plans to watch the Cubs game tonight without your commentary in the background."

"Are they winning?"

" _Pfft_ ," Ava's version of a no.

"What are you working on?" I pointed to her laptop.

"The fundraiser."

"Yeah? How's it coming?"

"Great. We have enough donated prints to fill the whole gallery. I've sold most of the tickets -- I have just a few tables left to fill, and the menu is set."

"Oh, what are we eating?"

"A bunch of stuff but the main course is smoked salmon, followed by a seafood medley on asparagus with ravioli and pesto."

"That sounds so freaking good. I am starving."

Ava giggled and my heart thudded and smiled. "How many people will be seated at each table?"

"Eight." Her forehead crinkled. "Why do you ask?"

"Can I reserve a whole table from you?"

"You already have a ticket -- you're my date so you have to sit by me...Please. Why do you need an entire table?"

"I'd like to contribute to _House to Home_ and some of my staff was asking about the evening and when I told them it was five hundred a plate, people kind of cringed. So, I thought I could just buy a table's worth of seats and they can come and still afford to bid on the prints and the door prizes. I hear Margaux is donating a shopping spree at the L.A. store as a door prize and I know a bunch of people who would kill for that."

"Pay up, Alexander," Ava smiled and stuck out her palm.

"I'm kinda in my underwear right now, Ave, with a near-sleeping three year old on my chest. You know I'm good for the money. Can I pay you later?"

"Payment is expected at the time the reservation is placed," she teased, pulling her computer up to her lap.

"Wow. I was expecting maybe a thank you or possibly even a kiss. Is this how you treat all of the charity's supporters?"

Ava leaned across a pillow and planted a quiet kiss to my cheek. "Thank you and no, people who purchase tickets for the event will receive a chocolate gift basket from _Yummy Yums_."

"I love _Yummy Yums_. Will... will you send me a basket, too?"

"Once you pay up," she teased me again.

Max blinked one last slow-motion blink, his grip around me loosened and at last, he fell back asleep. I rolled on to my shoulder and eased him over to a spare pillow. Max curled into a ball and shoved his thumb into his mouth. I pushed off the bed.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm starving. Have you eaten?" I asked and bent down to fish my wallet out of my suit pants that I had tossed carelessly on the floor.

"I haven't eaten yet," she said. "I'll make something for us in a bit."

I threw my wallet up in the air and Ava caught it before it could hit the blankets. "Here's your payment. I can take care of dinner tonight."

"K." She flipped open my wallet and began to secure my table for the _House to Home_ charity auction. "Thanks again!"

"My pleasure."

In the refrigerator next to the milk, I found the extra large bowl of spaghetti my mom had snuck in there. Popping it in the microwave, I worked on gathering plates and a couple of forks and then found the loaf of garlic bread. The microwave beeped and I dumped the steaming food on the plates and carried them back off to the bedroom.

Ava's nose was still shoved into her laptop and the glow from the screen illuminated her pretty face. She was fully immersed in her work and I watched in admiration as her nose crinkled cutely like a bunny and her tongue unknowingly traced the curve of her pouty lip.

The TV distracted me and tore my eyes away from Ava to the screen: "Divorce rumors ring true for business mogul Cameron Gallo and his wife of five years, Dove Gallo. Today In Entertainment has the lead on the scoop." Olivia Chavez stood on the set of TIE, the top celebrity news show in the nation, and smiled gleefully as she reported the divorce between the couple.

"Dove officially filed for divorce from Cameron last week, citing infidelity. Neither of them were available to comment, but a source very close to the couple told TIE that Cameron has wounded Dove beyond reconciliation due to an extramaterial affair. According to the couple's pre-nuptial agreement, should this affair be fact, an infidelity clause boosts Dove's alimony settlement from an estimated one hundred and sixty million dollars to an estimated three hundred and twenty million dollars, making this divorce one of the most costly in US history."

"Yeesh. What on Earth are you watching, Ava?"

She jumped in her skin when I startled her and her eyes shot up to the TV screen. "I had the game on," she shrugged. "This garbage must have come on after that."

The image of a small child walking between Dove and Cameron and holding hands with both of them, appeared on the screen. The reporter continued, "The source advised that these infidelity allegations have Cameron outraged and he plans to fight Dove to the bitter end for full custody of their four-year-old daughter, Lola Love Gallo."

"Good God, this is sick." I hit the power button without a moment to spare.

"What is?" Ava's mind had already moved back to the matter on her laptop and she gave little thought to the reports on the television.

"Those people."

"What people, Ari?" She closed the computer and scooted it off her lap.

"The Gallos."

"Who?"

"Never mind."

"Ok, whatever. Your tickets and Yummy Yum chocolates should arrive in a few weeks. I sent them to your office. That way Fauna will make sure you share and that you don't eat them all in one sitting."

"Fauna's gone." I handed Ava the plate of spaghetti.

"What?"

"Yeah, she quit. As of six o'clock today she's not my assistant anymore."

"When were you planning on telling me this?"

"I thought I had."

"Uh. No. You didn't. Who's your new person?"

"I don't know. She starts Monday. Apparently she's moving this weekend for the job."

"Do you know anything about this person? Do you have a name?"

I shook my head from side to side like an idiot. "Nope. It doesn't matter to me who sits out at that desk, so long as she can answer a phone and take a message."

"Well, it matters to me, Ari. This woman will be working with you for sixty plus hours a week. Your assistant sees you more than we see you!"

"It's not like that."

"Oh please! Fauna knew way too much about you."

"Nah, she didn't. Anyway, there isn't anything I can do about it. Fauna left and HR found someone new. I stayed out of the hiring process. Like I said, I don't care who sits out there."

Ava took a bite of her spaghetti. "How'd you make this so fast?"

"I didn't. My mom made it this afternoon and she stuck in the fridge when you weren't looking."

"She is unbelievable! Does that woman have no bounds? We are fully capable of making our own dinner!"

"Are you hungry?"

"Yes. I'm starving." Ava started to fork her spaghetti onto her garlic bread.

"Then I don't think we can complain about her this time. She kinda came through for us tonight don't you think?"

"Kinda." Ava folded her bread over massive forkfuls of saucy noodles and took a big, wide open-mouth bite.

"What are you doing?" I gawked at her.

"I'm eating." She said past a mouth full of food.

"Yeah, like an animal. That's not how you eat spaghetti."

"It's a spaghetti sandwich and yes, this is how I eat spaghetti. And listen to you all high and mighty. Need I remind you that we are eating our dinner in our bedroom, in our underwear, on our bed!"

"Touché. You got me. You think we should head down to the dining room and eat like a civilized couple?"

"No!" she said over another full mouth of food and slurped up a lingering noodle, splashing bits of sauce over her face and mine.

"Good God! Is this how you eat in public? Remind me never to take you out to an Italian restaurant."

"I'm hungry and I am pregnant so back off!"

"Okay, okay." I smiled brightly at her.

"Your mom may have come through on the food tonight. But Ari, you have to have a talk with her. She's driving me nutty."

"What did she do besides rat you out to me about your anxiety attack?"

"Ari! She ironed our bed sheets! Who does that?"

"Aggie Alexander does that."

"Our bed sheets need to be off limits to your mother. And the bed too. That's all I'm saying."

"I couldn't agree with you anymore."

Ava took another messy bite of her spaghetti sandwich.

"What did the O.B. doctor say today?" I changed the subject away from my mother, knowing that that conversation could last the entire evening. "And how have you been feeling?"

I had been harboring a feeling of disconnect with Ava and her pregnancy. With my demanding work schedule, I had been able to get to only one of her appointments. I had seen see our tiny blimp of a baby on the screen when Ava was twenty weeks along in the pregnancy. The whooshing, thumping murmur of our child's heartbeat filled the otherwise silent room as Ava and I stared in shock and overt awe. The feeling was surreal, a sort of panic set up shop in my mind and I have yet to completely lose it. I had been a father to Max for several months, but this baby introduced a whole new aspect of being a dad. Creating life is far too monumental a concept for me to wrap my head around. I felt scared.

"I'm fine... really good."

"Have you been tired?" Ava's health was number one on my list of fears. If I lost her, I couldn't live on without her.

"Not lately, no."

"Any new updates I should know about?" I rubbed down the length of her growing tummy. She was now twenty-eight weeks along in the pregnancy. In twelve weeks we would be able to hold our new baby in our arms. Ava's bump was growing more round by the day and a hint of a tan line stretched from her rib cage all the way down her bump past her pelvis.

She shook her head from side to side. "Uh, let's see... The baby gets hiccups all the time now."

"What? Hiccups -- no way!"

"Yes, way!"

"What does that feel like?"

"Weird." Her nose crinkled again like a bunny.

"Anything else I should know? When's the next appointment? Maybe I can make it."

"The twenty-sixth."

Fashion week. I cringed inwardly, knowing I would miss that appointment, too.

"The doctor is sending home birthing videos. She said we need to watch them together to get a firm idea as to what to expect."

"Gross -- there's no way I am watching those."

"Ari!" Ava shoved an elbow into my ribcage. "Be serious or I won't let you in the delivery room with me."

"You wouldn't dare keep me out!"

The curve of her mouth twisted into a firm authoritarian smile. "You wanna bet?"

"Ok, ok, it's a date, we'll watch the videos. I'll watch a million gross birthing videos if that's what it takes to be there when our baby is born. There is nothing in the world that can keep me away from that moment in time. So what else, any new cravings?"

She rolled her eyes at herself. "Hotdogs. Right now I think I could eat hotdogs for breakfast, lunch and dinner."

"Bleh. Hotdogs make me puke," I admitted. "Every time I eat one, I puke my guts out."

"Ari, that's so gross," she said, and shoved the last big bite of her weird spaghetti and garlic bread sandwich into her already too full mouth.

I cleared the plates from our bedroom, we scrubbed our faces and cleaned our teeth and fell asleep. Ava took up one side of my chest and Max curled back around and snuggled into my other arm. His sleep was interrupted again and again by night terrors that made him scream out in fear and cry in sadness. He still wouldn't talk. Not a single word.

### Chapter 11

### The Future, Setbacks and Proposals

Sweet Ava and Max...

I 'm next door and I miss you both already...

I scribbled the note on the back of a used envelope, left it at the kitchen counter and snuck out of the house late Sunday morning.

"Morning." My mother stood at the coffee pot and I pointed to it, indicating that I was in need of a very deep and full mug. She made her signature clicking noise with her tongue and poured me a hot cup. "And where's Ava?" She looked behind me for the rest of my family and I put the mug to my lips taking a gulp and burning my mouth.

"Home," I said and my voice was still rough and scratchy. Clearing my throat, I tried again. "She's still home. She and Max will be here in a little while. I didn't want to wake them."

"It's half past ten!"

"Don't start, Mom. We had a bad night. We've had a couple of bad nights and Max and Ava are both actually sleeping without screaming so I left them alone. I didn't want to wake them up yet."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Ari. What's going on? Is there something I can do to help?"

"You can stop ironing our sheets -- other than that, nothing. It's just nightmares -- both of them - all God-damn night long."

Her face puckered in contempt at my foul language.

"I'm sorry, Ma, I can't help it. I'm so tired."

"Go home." She waved her hand at the door.

"No, I promised you I would be here. Ava and Max will be over within the hour. It'll be okay."

She pursed her lips at me.

"I want to be here. Just keep the coffee on and strong and I'll be good."

"Is Max speaking yet?" she asked, and I took a seat at her kitchen table.

"No." My fingers pressed into my throbbing temple and forehead and I tried ineffectively to rub the pain away.

"Nothing at all?" Worry etched small lines around her eyes.

"He has not spoken a single word since Thursday afternoon."

"What did the pediatrician say?"

"That Max is still pretty young and since English wasn't his first language the docs aren't too terribly concerned yet. But they aren't ruling out selective mutism. We were told to give him more time and he's seeing a speech therapist this coming week."

"What is selective mutism anyway?"

"It's when a person can talk but due to anxiety or stress, fear or sadness... whatever the reason... the person simply chooses to stop talking."

"I don't get it. How does a person just stop talking?"

"I don't know, Ma. Max woke up Thursday from what we think was a night terror and he hasn't said a single thing since then."

"How long can this last?"

"No clue."

"What should we do for him?"

"Treat him the same as you always have. Keep talking to him but don't push him into talking back. The doctor said that pressuring him could make the situation even worse."

"Oh, Ari!" She covered her hand with her mouth.

"Deep breath, Mom. I need to have you try not to show how troubled you are. Seeing you distraught is another thing than can make things harder for him. And for Ava. She's, umm... upset. The doctor also said not to baby him but to just carry on as usual and hope that he comes around."

"Ok. So I should just talk to them both as if nothing is different?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

My mug was empty. Mom pushed up from her chair to pour more coffee in it as her house started to fill with the usual Sunday guests.

Gianna and Thais entered the house, followed by my parent's friends, Ophelia and Pete, with their toddler, Stella.

"Maaaxxx?" Stella had just recently begun to walk and talk. She had an adorable crush on Max and went on the hunt for him as soon as Ophelia put her down on her own two feet.

Rory, Julia and Nick arrived together followed by August and Collin. One of Gianna's sisters, Cacia, arrived with her husband Beryl and their daughter, Caliana. Caliana is Rory and Nick's other cousin and we used to tease Rory constantly about having a crush on her. He denies it to this day, but I am pretty sure he had a very serious fondness for his cousin at one time.

Every new addition to the group walked through the door and scanned the room for Ava. No "Hey, Ari's" anymore, just "Where's Ava?"

"She's on her way," I said a dozen or more times before she finally breezed through the doorway with Max at her feet.

"Hi!" Ava said just this one word and the crowd swooped in on her, kissing her cheek, squeezing her hand, palming her belly. Women pushed outdated parenting advice down her throat and she humbly listened, thanked them and smiled.

"Hey, Gorgeous." I kissed the corner of Ava's mouth after she eventually maneuvered a path to me and then I scooped Max up for a hug. "How was your morning?"

"Good. The extra sleep was nice, thank you." She smiled a pretty, white smile.

I pressed loud kisses into Max's plump cheeks and he squeezed me in a tight, warm hug. "Hi, Buddy. How was your morning?" He nuzzled his face into my neck and took a deep breath. "Stella is looking all over the house for you, Max. Better go find her." I set him back on his feet and he hid behind Ava's leg.

"What's wrong with Stella?" I asked him and received no answer.

"Little girls make him nervous." Ava eased him out from behind her leg. She squatted down to Max's level and talked to him very sweetly. "She just wants to play with you. Could you show her the toys in the playroom?"

Max pouted and fiddled with the fabric from Ava's flowing maxi skirt.

"Please, Max?"

He put on a really grumpy face and even though we both wanted to baby him, indulge him and give in to whatever he wanted, we knew in the long run that kind of treatment would only make things worse for Max.

"It's either you play with Stella or you'll be put to work in the kitchen. I won't let you watch the baseball game on TV." Ava was stern with him and he stomped off towards the new playroom that was equipped with the best toys available on the market today, thanks to my parents who tend to go overboard on just about everything.

"Did he say anything this morning?" I asked when he was out of earshot.

"No. I thought he was going to talk to me when he first woke up but he didn't."

"He will."

She bobbed her head, unsure.

"How about you, are you okay today? You had a couple of nasty ones last night."

"I'm good. As long as I have you, I'm good." She kissed me gently and smoothed the crease in my forehead with the soft pad of her thumb.

"Wanna hang with me? We can watch the game." I wrapped both of my arms around her and pulled her up close to my body so I could breathe her sweet scent.

"I can't. I told your mom I would help her in the kitchen and she wants me to make the bread, too."

"Bread duty?"

"Uh huh!"

"You're in the big leagues now, Baby."

She giggled cutely and my heart celebrated with a big kaboom-like thud in my chest.

"You look exhausted. I'm sorry I kept you up all night."

"Mmm. I am tired, but don't apologize. I would do anything for you, even in your sleep."

"Go pretend to watch the game with your dad and take a nap."

"OK. You're the best Ava Zae."

Securing my spot in the living room, I kicked back in an oversized chair and propped my feet up on the ottoman. The White Sox were playing the Angels and it sounded like a good game from Nick and Rory's constant shouting but my vision was blurry and I was too tired to care about the score.

My eyes fluttered open when two little hands grabbed on to my leg in an attempt to climb up my body. Max had managed to sneak past Ava and the kitchen full of women and I helped him up and let him curl up with me in the chair. His body sunk into the space between my chest and my arm and his head eased into the dip of my shoulder. The tips of his springy hair tickled my nose.

"Are you still sleepy?" I asked him and Max shook his head no and then placed his palm on my scruffy cheek. "I love you," I said, pressing kisses into his open hand in between my words, "I would do anything for you, Max. You don't have to do this -- you don't have to be scared. I won't let anything hurt you. Not ever. The frightening images in your dreams have to go through me first. I will always keep you safe no matter what." He squeezed me harder and I drifted back asleep.

****

"Ari!"

"Mmm."

"Ari!" Nick hollered at me and shoved my shoulder.

"Dude, what the heck!"

"Ari, it's Ava..."

My eyes shot open wide and I sucked in a fast breath of air. "What?"

"She's having an anxiety attack."

I jumped from my seat with Max in my arms and all but shoved him into my dad's lap. My mother was hollering for me but I was already shooting through the kitchen like an arrow, splitting the groups of women to either side to get to Ava as quickly as possible.

She stood at the oven with a broken dish at her feet. The color had drained from her face, her breathing was heavy and labored and she gasped for air as if she were drowning. She trembled and backpedaled away from the women that were closing in on her to come to her aid. She was most certainly having another anxiety attack and the panic was hitting her fast and strong.

Max started to scream from the living room and my dad slid out of the front door with him kicking and flailing in his arms.

"Look at me!" Inside, I was already beginning to panic but I remained calm and strong for her. Her eyes were turning darker by the second. "Ava, look at me!" I demanded in as firm a tone as I could manage. "Listen to me." I talked fast, trying everything I could to keep her from slipping away to a dark corner of her mind. "Breathe. You can breathe. Take a breath and look at me. I know how scared you feel, but you're safe. I'm here. I can walk you through this."

Nothing. Fear moved in and pulled Ava away from me.

Family members stared at us with gaping mouths and the others looked at anything except the two of us in uncomfortable silence.

"Look at my face!" I shouted at her and her head snapped up to look me in the eyes. I held her cheeks in my hands, keeping her head in place. "Ava, breathe. You are safe and I am here."

Her fingers dug into the fleshy scar on her left wrist and she ripped at her skin, drawing blood.

"I'm fine." She blinked her shadowy, vacant eyes and turned to walk away.

"Shit." The word pushed out with the air that broke free from my lungs.

I hated her words. Loathed them. The pit of my stomached churned every time I heard her say it. "I'm fine." It was a lie. A big fat lie. She wasn't fine. She was the furthest thing from being fine.

She had come face to face with a trigger and she wasn't at all ready to deal with the emotions that came with it. The shock to her was as if she had taken a blind-side punch to the face.

"Ari," My mother whispered in disappointment at my foul language.

I ignored her and went after Ava as she headed towards my old room. My arm wrapped protectively around her waist and together we escaped through the doorway and away from watching eyes. I sat Ava on the bed, went to my knees at her feet and looked up at her.

"I am here, talk through this with me. Don't shut me out, Ava."

She hyperventilated, her hands trembled, and her skin was hot to the touch. My worry was that she would go back down the road of hiding her fear and sorrow and that she would lie to me again, reverting to using damaging coping mechanisms. I couldn't and wouldn't allow that to happen.

I curled my arms around her body and pressed my forehead to hers. "I will never leave your side," I whispered. "I love you more than anything on earth and in heaven too. Together we will get through this. You can't shut me out... I won't let you, not even for a second. We are in this together. I know you aren't fine. You know you cannot lie to me, Baby."

She nodded. The gesture was small and brief but her simple acknowledgment gave me a flicker of hope. Her eyes looked into mine, dark and haunting but she was in there somewhere.

Tapping a finger on her temple I said, "Don't let this claim you. You are mine. You are Max's." I moved my palm and felt the baby hiccup. "You belong to this baby. I love you, Ava."

We stared back at each other in silence.

"You're my rock," her words inched quietly just past her lips. The heaviness drained from her breathing and the tremble in her fingers subsided. Ava blinked and there she was again, with sea-green eyes. She pressed her palm against my chest over my heart. "Your love is so great, Ari. You keep me sane. You're so strong." Her voice was tiny and quiet.

"No. You are the strong one, Ava. Believe me."

"Thank you for helping me. That was unexpected -- a complete sucker punch."

"What was it? What was your trigger?"

She lay back on the bed and I moved off my knees to join her and hold her close.

"I love you, Ari." She said, but she didn't answer my question.

"Love you." I tucked a lock of silky hair behind her ear.

"I don't know how I will ever live without you."

"You won't ever have to find out."

"I need you."

"I'm here." Her lips pushed against mine before I could finish my word. She caught me by surprise with rushed and urgent kisses and I was slow to react. She moved fast, her body pressed against me, she straddled my legs and ripped fistfuls of my hair, yanking my head back and keeping it place. Her teeth grazed my lips and my mouth opened on command. My body responded to her body on cue but my mind knew our behavior was wrong.

Ava's fingers untangled themselves from my hair and moved down my chest. Our kisses grew deeper and we were immersed in one another. She was hot and did what she always did, and it turned me on. Ava ran her hands all over me and frisked her way down my body in search of the button on my pants.

"Whoa, no, no," I breathed in her ear after the quick zip sound came from her undoing my pants.

" _What?"_ She panted and slipped her fingers under the waistband of my boxers. The sensation of her touch was electrifying. I had to lock my hands like cuffs around her wrists to put a halt to her pursuit and give myself a moment to clear my head.

"Slow down. We can't do that here."

"Why not?" Her voice was throaty and sexy.

"I have too much respect for you, Ava. You are fragile right now and it wouldn't be right for me to take advantage of you."

"I want it." She broke free from my grip and tugged at my shirt in another attempt to undress me. "You want it, too, I know you do."

"I am a man. I always want sex." I wrestled her to gain control of her hands again.

"So? Come on." She moved her hips forward, then back, then forward again in a seducing, perfect rhythm. I wanted her badly, to rip her clothes off and take her up against the wall and she knew it.

I locked onto her wrists again, rolled her off me onto her back and straddled her thighs, pinning her down.

"What's gotten into you? You've never been like this before."

The tops of her cheeks flushed and I smiled down at her and kissed the corner of her mouth.

"There are twenty or more people down the hall just thirty feet from the door. The answer is no, Ava. I'd like to think that we're a little classier than that."

"You're turning me down?"

"No. Never. I am postponing. There's a difference."

"To when?" She pouted.

"To when we are home and alone and I can take my sweet ass time kissing every single inch of you."

"I don't think I can wait that long." She moaned, bit her lip and tried to push her hips up against me.

"Stop it," I laughed. "You are a freak! A deviant! You're trying to bring me over to the dark side!"

"No I am not!" she laughed back. "I just need you."

"I am here, Baby. But we need to put the horse before the cart. We're in a house full of family and friends. Your mind just went somewhere incredibly dark and scary. We need to take some time to heal first and then you can rub your body up against me any way you want... when we are alone and in the privacy of our own room at home. OK?"

She bobbed her head up and down with pouty eyes.

"I am going to let you go now. I trust that you won't attack me and try and rip my clothes off after my back is turned."

She flashed a smile and I let go of her wrists then eased off her lap and offered a hand to help her sit. She fixed her tank top, covering her exposed belly and then the neckline so her chest wasn't popping out in an alluring and too-inviting way. Ava ran a finger around the bottom of her lip, removing any leftover lip-gloss.

"Your hair certainly looks like we just screwed." I ruffled her now tangled mop of waves.

"Ari!" She was either appalled at my choice of words or was a very good actor. Her mouth hung wide open and her hand slapped against my shoulder with a loud smack that was bound to leave a welt. She yanked her hair tie off her wrist and threw her hair up in a messy uncombed bun.

"That doesn't look any better," I teased, and she slapped me again ... but this time it was in playful fun.

I zipped and buttoned my pants, straightened my shirt and ran a hand through my hair. Ava re-did her hair in the mirror, removing the hair tie and finger-combing through the locks until it was smooth and pretty again.

"Are you alright? Do you need more time?" I asked before we exited my old bedroom.

"I'll be okay."

"No one out there will ever judge you, you know that, right?"

"I know."

"They love you. All of them. Everyone understands."

"I know." She shrugged in an uncomfortable fidget.

"Did you take your meds today?" She hated that I asked her almost as much as I hated the need I felt to ask.

She didn't answer me and instead buried her face into my chest.

The crease in my forehead deepened, "Are you sure everything is ok?" I tried to pry her back to look in to her eyes but she resisted me.

We walked back towards the kitchen hand in hand with Ava a step behind me. Most of the family was seated at the table and my mother and aunt were busily placing platters of food in the middle of the group.

My mother saw us first and she came to Ava's side, wrapping her arms around her shoulders. "Baby, I am so sorry. I am here for you if need me."

"Aggie, I'm alright. Stop. Don't worry about me." Ava slipped away from my mom's hug and my mother frowned deeply. Ava copes with her problems differently than the rest of us. If anyone in our family is ever in need, we immediately turn to one another for support and help. Ava is the opposite. She pushes people away and hurts the ones she loves the very most. When she works through a stint of depression, she gets angry. She lashes out at people and hurts their feelings. When she really needs someone, she chooses to isolate herself instead of reaching out for comfort and when people try to help her, she kicks them away. My mother understood this about Ava. We had all learned it, the hard way, but it didn't make the rejection from her any easier.

"Mama!" Max hollered at Ava from my dad's arms across the room. We gasped at the sweet, perfect, lyrical sound of his voice. My dad set him down and Max ran to her side and hugged her.

"Say it again, please," she whispered to him.

"Love you," he said instead and my heart smiled.

"I'll join you in just a minute." I kissed Ava's cheek and disappeared out the back door to the sun porch before she could stop me or ask where I was going.

My cell phone was in my pocket and I pulled it out and thumbed through my list of contacts. The phone rang three times before someone answered.

"Hello, this is Ari Alexander, I am terribly sorry for bothering you, I am trying to reach Dr. Phillips on behalf of my wife, Ava."

"Oh, hi Ari."

"Hi, Mrs. Phillips. Again I am so sorry to bother you on a Sunday."

"He gave you our number to call anytime and he meant it, you needn't apologize. Unfortunately though, Robert took the grandkids sailing this afternoon. I expect him home within the hour. Can I have him call you back?"

"Yes, please. I would really appreciate it."

"He has your number here. I will make sure he receives the message and he'll call you back after he's home."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, Ari."

Hanging up the line, I took a few quick calming breaths and returned to the kitchen. All the plates sat empty and everyone waited on me to return and join them.

"Sorry to hold you all up." I slid into my seat. "Let's eat."

No one said anything. They all understood what I had been doing and who I had been talking with. Everyone knew but Ava and my heart ached for her. I was betraying her by calling her doctor behind her back. At times, she has gotten very angry with me for doing this, but if I didn't do it, she wouldn't go and she needed to get a little extra help. I needed her to get the extra help.

"Ari," my mother placed a bread knife down beside me, "would you slice the bread please? Ava made it this evening."

Tradition in our family is that whoever bakes the bread, the spouse then slices the bread. The ritual started at my grandparents' wedding. My Yaya Elodie had been nervous the evening before her wedding day and stayed up baking bread -- kneading dough has a certain stress relief that a person can't get anywhere else with clothes on. She had so much bread the next day that they served it with the meal and my Papus Cal insisted on slicing every piece for her. Guests at the wedding said that the one little act of slicing bread exemplified the perfect type of love and commitment to one another that was needed to make a marriage work. The Alexanders, all of us, have practiced the custom ever since.

The warmth from the bread and the delicious scent wafted in the air as I sliced through Ava's crusty psomi loaf.

Psomi is my favorite. Whenever Ava is put in charge of a dish, she always makes my favorite. She makes my favorite potatoes, my favorite pie, my favorite vegetables. It's always what I like best and I love her for that. She makes me feel special in some silly way.

"Looks good, Baby." I glanced down at her as she fidgeted with the napkin on her lap.

Plates were filled up with caprese chicken, roasted potatoes, couscous, vegetables, and Ava's bread. A weird tension made conversation uncomfortable. Ava squirmed and she pushed her food across her plate.

Rory, who still wasn't speaking to me, did me a massive favor and eased the strain by talking about the baby. Everyone joins the conversation when the baby is brought up and he knew that topic above all else would lighten the mood. Rory could always be relied on for breaking the ice and smoothing the path.

"Ava, did you choose a name yet?" He shoved a bite of hot bread in his mouth and chewed loudly.

"Oh! I assumed Ari had already told everyone."

"No! We don't know anything!" My mother practically jumped up and down in her seat. "You have names!" she cheered.

"Only one..."

"What is it!?" three people said at once.

Ava looked up to me, unsure if I wanted to be the one to deliver the news. "Best not keep them waiting. This is a very impatient group." I waved her on, giving her the floor.

"We chose Cal... for a boy."

Everyone smiled.

"Cal is a perfect name for your son, Ava," Julia, who had cherished my grandparents, said quietly with a hint of heartache and we all agreed with sad eyes as we remembered my grandfather. She was right. Cal was a perfect name for Ava's son.

"What do you think you're having?" My sister kept the talk up and I looked over to Ava and waited for her answer. She wavered weekly from the baby definitely being a girl to without a doubt a boy.

"A boy. Once we decided on naming him Cal, the baby just felt like a boy to me. The name just made everything feel so real."

"Ari, what about you? Do you want another boy or a girl this time?"

My sister is by far the best at treating Max as if he had been in Ava's and my life since his birth.

"I don't think the baby's gender matters to me. I'll be happy no matter what. Another boy would be fun. But I think I'd like to have a girl. With a mother like Ava, she would be the second most beautiful woman in the world and I'd cherish every inch of her. But I do worry about how many boys I may have to kill when she grows older."

My dad nodded and rubbed Lauren's back with his palm.

"And Max? What about you? Sister or brother?" my sister continued.

"Bwudda," he said, and my heart leapt from my chest again at the sound of his voice.

"Brother?" Lauren clarified and Max nodded.

"Well, I want a niece, so I can do her hair, paint her pretty nails and dress her in ruffles. What are you two thinking about for girl names? Any favorites?" My sister continued some more.

"Ari is obsessing over the name Ileana. He won't let it go to rest. But I don't have any names that I have fallen in love with yet."

"Ari, don't name her Ileana, please." Lauren laughed at me.

"It's pretty. I really like it." I defended my choice.

"It's old sounding. The baby will come out of Ava looking a like a ninety-year-old Greek woman. You know, the kind that still wears a wool cloak with a matching headpiece and lives in the villages without electricity."

Everyone laughed at my sister and that was all we needed to move forward.

"I think Agatha is a beautiful name, Ava. I am willing to share it with my granddaughter in case you are interested."

"You are right, Agatha is a beautiful name for a beautiful person." Ava smiled kindly at my mom and her comment made my mother's day.

Instead of just pushing her food around, Ava started to eat and began giving more to the conversation.

"The doctor is sending home birthing videos at my next appointment for Ari and me. We have a date night Friday to watch them together. I am really getting nervous!"

"Oh, Ava, you'll do just fine. I remember when I went into labor with Ari --"

"Nope." My dad coughed and sputtered out an interruption. "Not at the dinner table, Ag. No way."

"Uh! I was just going to say that --"

"Stop it right there, Aggie. Whatever you have to say from that day will scare the girl to death and ruin all of our appetites."

We laughed some more and my phone silently vibrated in my pocket. Without a word, I pushed my chair back from the table, stood and left the room. The no-phones-allowed-at-the-dinner-table rule didn't apply to me. At least not anymore.

"Hello, this is Ari," I answered after I reached the door and was out of earshot.

"Ari. Hello, this is Dr. Phillips. I have a message here from Susan that you called."

"Yes. Thank you for calling me back."

"What's going on?" He slid immediately into doctor mode.

"Ava had a trigger this afternoon that caused an anxiety attack, and she also had a smaller one earlier in the week."

"Are these old triggers or new ones?"

"I don't think they are old ones, but she hasn't told me."

"OK. Give me the details, how was she acting?"

I gave him a breakdown of her anxiety attack and he listened to me and made small 'hmms' or 'ohhs.'

"Is she doing alright now?"

"Better but she is still not quite herself."

"I'd like to see her tomorrow morning and see if she'll open up with me and talk."

"That sounds good."

"Do you think you can get her to agree to come?"

"She'll be there."

"Can you arrange for a sitter? As fond as I am of Max, Ava doesn't talk much when he accompanies her."

"Yes, of course, whatever we need to do, we will do."

"Is she still taking her medication regularly?"

"As far as I know, yes."

"Good. Is there anything else going on with her?"

"She is having nightmares again. I am not sure what they are about, though. These ones are different and they make her very sad. I worry that they may add to the anxiety and maybe some depression. We are also dealing with an issue with Max."

"Ok, I can try to see if she will talk about that, too."

"That'd be great."

"I hate to do this but I need to remind you that I am bound by patient confidentially, Ari. I cannot discuss my conversations with Ava with you."

"I know. I just want her to talk to someone."

"I'll see her tomorrow around nine."

"Thank you... um?"

"Something else?"

"She will kill me if she knows I talked to you about this but she certainly won't bring it up herself..."

"I have heard it all before, lay it on me."

"She's um. Her sex drive has..."

"Increased?"

"Yes! Should I be concerned?"

"No need for concern. It is most likely her body responding to her hormones during pregnancy. An increased libido during the second and third trimester are quite common. After the baby arrives, Ava will be out of commission for six to eight weeks and you'll both be too tired to act on any impulses. Enjoy this while it lasts."

"Will do."

"I'll see her in the morning."

"Thank you again."

I walked back in to the house, Ava was watching me and ignoring Rory's attempt to drag her back in for more baby talk. I busied myself by clearing the table for my mom, removing the dirty dishes and stacking them in the deep sink. I sliced three different pies and set them on the table. I couldn't meet Ava's eye. Guilt made my stomach churn.

Ava pushed the plate of pie that I placed in front of her away without taking a single bite. I eased back into my seat next to her.

"What time?" she stared ahead at nothing. She knew what I had done.

"Nine."

She nodded and accepted her appointment without argument. She knew she needed to go.

"My mother will watch Max, right Mom?"

My mom swallowed air after I pulled her into the tense conversation and pushed a smile up her cheeks. "You bet I will." She winked at Max, "I volunteered for the bake sale for Lauren's dance team. You can help me make the brownies -- double fudge!"

Max squealed with excitement. I placed an arm around Ava and squeezed her. She stiffened at my touch. I leaned in close to her, my shoulder touching hers, buried my nose in her hair and put my lips to her ear. "I called him because I love you. I am sorry if you are mad, but I only did it because I care."

She stayed firm and resolute for a moment and then gave up on the angry bit and relaxed. "I know." She thawed then turned to me and pressed her forehead to mine, causing her hair to fall like curtains around our faces. "You are my rock, Ari. I won't go back to the way I was before. I promise. I'll talk to Phillips tomorrow and get back on track. Your love for me is so strong. I want to be strong for you, too." Her lips touched mine and my skin immediately warmed, my nerves buzzed and my desire for her raced through my bloodstream.

"I can't wait for later." I murmured and kept my lips on hers. A tiny, breathy moan escaped from her throat and my tongue slipped just barely past her parted lips. Our hearts hammered and beat like a bass drum and she moved in closer, her mouth opening to grant me access. I smiled with my kisses, unable to hide my pleasure with Ava who had forgotten about our audience.

"Oh, for Christ's sake!" my dad's fist pounded the tabletop and glasses jumped and rattled.

Ava's teeth bit my tongue again and the rusty taste of blood replaced the sweet flavor of her mouth.

"God dangit!" I yelled, "Ava, do you always have to bite?"

She blushed an allover pretty pink.

"You two are worse than a couple of spring rabbits!"

"Stop it, Andy. It's cute." My mother batted her lashes.

"It's not cute when I am trying to eat!"

Max giggled. My sister playfully shoved a finger down her throat, Gianna mumbled something about her sons knowing how to behave at the dinner table, Thais and Nick both grunted, the rest laughed and then Julia pushed away from her seat and ran to the hall in tears. Rory then followed her.

"I'm so sorry, Andy," Ava squeaked and I blotted my tongue with a napkin.

"I can't stay mad at you, sweetheart; you're having my grandbaby. But you!" he jabbed a finger in the air at me, "you got what you deserve. Next time I hope she bites it off."

"She might have this time. Christ Ava!" My words trickled out in a mumbled lisp and people laughed some more. I scooted away from the dining table to rinse out my mouth and Ava, my sister and everyone else began to clear the rest of the plates.

"Jules, what's wrong? Why are you crying again?"

"Leave me alone, Rory."

Their talk carried down the hall from Julia's old bedroom, used now as a playroom for Max and future family children, and I paused before passing by the door.

"No, I won't leave you alone. You have to tell me what's bothering you. What did I do?"

"You didn't do anything." She sniffled and I could picture the downslope of her eyes when she is sad.

"Why won't you talk to me?"

"There is nothing to talk about."

"Bull shit! Tell me what is going on!"

"Nothing is going on."

"Why are you lying to me all the time? You're breaking my heart, Julia. I give you everything you ask for. I try so hard to make you happy. I'm not Ari. I know I am not freaking Ari! Everyone knows I am nothing like him. I'm sorry -- I can't afford that big stupid house of theirs, I don't have his dumb overpaid job. But I am trying my best here, you gotta give me some credit. I'm gonna give you the life you want just... have faith in me."

"I don't want you to be Ari." She cried some more.

"Then what do you want? I asked you to marry me, Julia -- you said no, remember? How can you... how can you be like this?!" He spat.

"Things aren't going to work between us, Rory."

"What? Don't say that. You're my girl, Jules. I'd do anything for you. Please don't say that. What do I have to do? Anything, I'll do anything."

"I love you, Rory. But I don't think I can make us work anymore."

Oh shit! I sprinted down the hall and silently slammed the bathroom door right before Julia ran from the room. Rory's quick, pounding footsteps followed out after her. I had heard way more than I ever should have and if Rory found out I had been there listening, he'd kill me. He had put his heart on the line and proposed to Julia and she had said no. In all my life, I had never felt more of a brotherhood type bond to him. I wanted to be there for him and I couldn't -- he could never know that I knew. I would never be forgiven. I couldn't even begin to fathom how he must have felt -- how heavy his heart must be. His footsteps rounded the corner hall and I watched through a slit in the door as he walked out the front door alone.

### Chapter 12

### Intruder

"Call me right after you leave the doctor's office."

"I will, I will."

"Talk to him, please. I mean really open up -- that's what he's there for."

"Ari! I will!"

My finger brushed her pink, pouty lips. "Love you."

"Love you." She buried her face into my chest and inhaled deeply. I kissed the top of her sweet, midnight smelling hair goodbye.

A foolish, too-big-for-my-face-smile was stretched across my mouth on my commute to the office as I thought about the night before – an evening alone with Ava in our bed, and then again in the middle of the night up against the wall and then all morning, causing me to be late again for work. Following doctor's orders, I was taking full advantage of the newly found and wildly fun boost in Ava's sex drive. No nightmares plagued our sleep and Max caught up for lost time and babbled to Ava and me half the evening about all sorts of silly things. He never offered us his fears and we didn't want to push the subject on him either. The only thing that mattered to us was that he was speaking again. Three days without the sound of his sweet and innocent voice was too long for us.

"Morning, Ari!"

I waved hello to the daytime security guard and practically danced through the front entrance of the building. Businessmen and women dressed in summer suits and dresses were scattered about the expansive main floor lobby as they made their way to the various business offices. Cutting a path through the groups to the bank of elevators, I selected floor number twenty-two on the key pad.

The baio cooperate office hummed with conversation and people talked about their weekend over coffee, ignoring the early Monday morning phone calls. Fashion week had just kicked off and the office was crawling with people. On my walk back to my corner office, three people asked how my family was doing. Jeff from marketing got a word in about his precious L.A. Angels pulverizing my White Sox. Caroline from design rushed down the hall to get to the show site but stopped me to say that Frank from IT's wife had had a baby over the weekend.

"A boy, right?" Frank and I had discussed our pregnant wives one morning after he noticed Ava's framed sonogram picture on my desk while he fixed my computer.

"Yes, a boy. They named him Conner."

"Everyone healthy?"

"Yep! Mother and son are doing great."

"Thanks, Caroline. I'll send a card. And maybe some diapers? I dunno -- you have three kids...what's the protocol for something like that?"

"Diapers are always welcome."

"Will you have your assistant email Frank's address to Fauna so she can send over a gift package to their family?"

"Uhh, err, sure..."

I rapped my knuckles on the reception desk outside my office and I turned to greet my assistant with a hearty "Good morning" that fell quickly off to an embarrassed... "ah, hmm, you aren't Fauna." I blinked and my own happy smile slid straight off my face into a deep knitted frown.

The redhead blinked her wide, doe-like eyes at me. Her glossy lips framed a mouth full of white teeth. A light dusting of freckles dotted her nose and fell across the very tops of her cheeks. Her skin was the color of porcelain and accentuated her dazzling, big blue eyes. She was beautiful. Too beautiful.

"Err," I sputtered and coughed on a heavy feeling that hit my stomach. "Hi."

"You don't know who I am, do you?"

Forcing composure, my shoulders squared and I straightened the knot Ava had put in my tie. "Forgive me but I am not sure if I ever learned your name. Mine is Ari, Ari Alexander." I pushed back my initial feelings of uneasiness and extended my hand to greet her.

I couldn't help but take in the full sight of her as she rose from her chair in high, peep toe, ankle strap heels. Her long and slender pale legs carried my eyes all the way to a close fitting black skirt that hugged her thin waist. My eyes met hers and I cleared my throat once more and tightened my jaw. Her lips curled up to kittenish grin and she reached to shake my hand.

"I know who you are, Ari. And I am Lirik Nino. I had the pleasure of a quick meeting with you a couple of weeks ago when I interviewed with Yvette in human resources."

"Lirik Like A Song." It all came back to me.

"You remember."

My grip loosened and I plunged my hands deep into my suit pants pockets. "Welcome, Lirik! Feel free to get yourself settled in here, the break room is down the hall to the left, help yourself to the coffee but fair warning, it usually sucks. Fauna left you a binder full of useful information. I suggest you take some time this morning to go through it all before the day gets ahead of you. This can be a hectic department, my phone rings off the hook most days and you've come at a real busy time. This is Fashion Week and it's going to be chaotic. I'd like to apologize ahead of time for the stress -- stick it out past the weekend and the rest will be a breeze."

"Thanks, but I think I am all settled in. And you are right this coffee is weird, it's kind of..."

"Soapy and bitter?"

"Yes! Why is that?" She said with a peal of giggles and looped a red tendril through her fingertips.

"You can blame the nightly cleaning crew for the soap taste. Sometimes the coffee actually has bubbles. Nevertheless, the first floor lobby has a café and you are free to go down there whenever you need a cup."

"Great. I have really been looking forward to working with you, Mr. Alexander. I can't wait to get started. I know everything there is to know about you."

"Everything, huh?"

"Everything." She closed the thick, heavy binder that Fauna had compiled with a thud.

"Well, that cannot possibly be true. If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask. I will be in and out of the office all week, making several trips to the show site and to some lunch meetings, but you can always reach me on my cell."

"I'll be sure to do that. I think we will make a good team."

I could only nod.

After a quick escape to my desk, I signed into my computer and reviewed the day's schedule. Fauna had always been kind to me, she knew me very well and kept my Monday agenda to a dull roar. I had only a small number of agreements to work through and an informal meeting with Margaux followed by an afternoon trip to the fashion district. My computer chimed an alert when an email from my new assistant came through, cataloging a small list of messages from the early morning. I swallowed air after I saw that Rory had called me.

" _Holy hell,"_ I picked up my office phone and dialed.

"Alexander and Alexander," my aunt, the receptionist at my family's law firm, promptly picked up the line.

"Hey, Aunt G."

"Hi Ari! How's your tongue?" She teased.

"Good, G," I laughed along with her. "Thanks for asking. Is Roar busy this morning? He left a message for me earlier today."

"He's never as busy as he should be. I'll put you through. I think he can use a good friend right now."

"Yeah?"

"You know him -- he wears his heart on his sleeve..."

The phone beeped a few times as Gianna transferred the call to the file room where Rory had recently gained employment.

"Alexander and Alexander, Rory speaking," he grumbled.

"Hey, man it's me."

"Oh! Hey, Ari! What's up?"

"Uh..." apparently, we were back on speaking terms. "Not much, I just got into the office and I have a message here that you called."

"Yeah, hey, when did you get a new chick to answer your phone? What happened to the last one? Fawn? What'd Lauren always call her? Spawn?"

"Oh, um, Fauna left and her replacement started today."

"She sounds hot as hell on the phone. Is she bangin'?"

"Umm..."

Rory laughed through the line in his big, boisterous cackle. If the joke wasn't funny, Rory's laugh was still enough to make me crack a smile. "Your silence says is all, dude -- she must be freakin' smokin'."

"What's up, Rory?"

"Hey, so um, Julia keeps talking about some _baio_ fashion show, she wanted tickets and I've tried and I can't get any. Apparently, they've been sold out for months. Do you know how I can score a pair? I really want to surprise her."

"Relax, I got you two tickets already."

Julia had mentioned wanting to go months ago.

"Honestly?"

"Of course."

"Sweet, thanks dude. How much do I owe you? I'll pay you back tonight."

"Nah, don't worry about paying me back, I've got this one."

"No seriously, you aren't paying for Julia and me to go out. I can buy my girl a ticket. Just tell me how much I owe you and I'll pay you back tonight."

"It's fine, I held back a row of seats for everyone. Don't worry about it. This one's on me."

"I don't want you buying her things. I can afford to do shit for my girl."

"I know you can."

"So how much?"

"Alright then, they're thirty-five hundred a person."

"Shut up. Thirty-five hundred bucks to watch way too-skinny chicks walk up and down some walkway in clothes Ava's been wearing for two months already?"

"It's called a runway and like I said, I've got this one."

"I said I'll pay you back and I will. Just not today. When is this thing anyway?"

"This Saturday night. I've already arranged a car for the four of you. A driver will pick you, Julia, August and Collin up at six. You guys will have lounge passes before and after the show. Wear something nice -- it is a fashion show after all and we've got front row seats."

"Cool. Is Ava goin'?"

"She's going but I don't think she's all too happy about having to be there. This is more of a command appearance than anything for her."

"Thanks man. Jules will be pumped when I tell her we're going. I am sure she thought I wasn't listening to her or some bull crap."

"Sure. Are we good now?"

"Yeah, we're good. I guess I overreacted. I know you have your hands full with Max and all that crap with Ava. I can't expect you to keep track of my girl, too. She's going through this thing right now... I dunno what's wrong with her but it sure as hell isn't your problem. I guess I was just kinda taking some of my aggression with the situation out on you."

"I am happy to be your punching bag whenever you need it."

"I know you are."

"Are you and Julia doin' alright?"

"We're awesome," he answered, but I could hear the lie in his voice. "I gotta go man, thanks again for getting the tickets and I _will_ pay you back as soon as I am able."

"No rush."

The morning pressed on in a busy blur. My line of sight bounced down to the corner of the computer screen all morning long as I waited for Ava to call me. I ran through travel details with Piper, finalized last-minute agreements and attempted to balance various spending accounts.

I grew annoyed with the wait for Ava's call and eventually broke down and called Lauren.

"Hello?" My sister yawned loudly into the phone in a groggy voice.

"Are you seriously still asleep right now?"

"I am on summer vacation and I don't have a job. Yes, I am seriously still asleep."

"I am half way through my day already!"

"Well, la-de freakin' da. What the heck do you want?" She moaned and her blankets rustled in the background.

"I'm calling to see if Ava brought Max over to the house in time."

"Ugh... he's been running up and down the darn hallway outside my bedroom for the last hour and a half ... does that count for anything?"

"Why is he doing that?"

"You know mom, she probably gave him a platter of double fudge brownies for breakfast and now he's turned into a sugar-crazed three-year-old."

"Great."

"Bye."

"Whoa, wait a minute. I haven't finished with you yet."

"Uh! Ari!" She whined and the blankets rustled some more.

"When is the last time you talked to Julia?"

"Yesterday, why?"

"Did she say anything to you?"

"It's Julia -- she said a lot of things!"

"Like?"

"I dunno. Mostly we just talked about how hot Cameron Gallo is. Did you know he's getting a divorce?! His wife is gorgeous, omg, I just cannot believe he would cheat on her..."

"Alright, alright, no one cares about that crap. Julia didn't say anything else?"

"Nope. Hey, how's your tongue?" she snickered.

"Doin' real good, Lauren thanks. Ava kissed it all night long to make me feel better."

"Bleh! Oh, God! Gag me! I'm sorry I teased you! Jeeze, Ari, so gross! I do not want to hear about it! I am literally dying, like, I mean -- literally."

"You need to look up the definition of the word "literally" – you sound stupid. Did Luke head back home yet?

Her boyfriend is from somewhere in Washington and was only staying with my family for a couple of weeks during the summer. I didn't like the idea of him staying with them. I offered to let him sleep in our home so the two could have more separation at night, which would cut back on any possible temptation to act on teenage urges, but Lauren threw a major fit, accused me of being a hypocrite and ended up getting her way.

"He left early this morning. We stayed up all night together until he had to go."

"Are you screwing him?"

"OH. MY. GOD. Who are you, the sex police?! I can't believe you just asked me that! I'm your sister for crying out loud. You make me wanna puke!"

"Well?"

"God, no! Not that it is any of your business but I am going to do the Ava thing and wait for a big fat ring and an over-the-top, lavish and expensive wedding before I 'screw' anyone. Yeesh!"

"Keep it that way."

"Can I go back to bed now? I am literally praying for a nightmare so it will wash all thoughts of my conversation with you away."

"No. Get up and help mom with Max. Fix him a healthy lunch before Ava gets there and finds him acting like an animal."

"Aaarrriii!"

"Grow up, Lauren."

She hung up on me.

"Everything alright in here?"

Lirik balanced on her heels in the open doorway.

"I have a sixteen-year-old sister. I deal with a lot of unnecessary drama and sub-par vocabulary."

"Ah, well I'm an only child."

"Lucky you."

"So this is where you work." She walked in and over to my window and inspected my view of the city.

"It is. Sorry ... I should have given you the tour."

"You have a great view."

"It's not bad."

"Your desk is huge." Her finger slid down the edge of my desk and stopped near the middle, by my photos. One of Ava and me, our faces smooshed together in matching sunglasses, sitting on the beach at home, another of Max and then the newest picture, the framed sonogram Ava gave me for my birthday. Lirik selected the photo of Ava and me and smiled down at us.

"Your wife."

"Mmm. That's Ava."

"She is beautiful."

"Thank you."

"I want you to know that I prayed for her when she was missing."

"Me too."

She set the photo back down and the sleeve of her blouse inched up her arm. Just under the inner bend of her elbow was a curve of dark of ink. She had a tattoo.

Lirik was quick to slide the blouse sleeve back in place.

"What do you have?"

"Pardon?" She smiled at the picture of Max.

"Tattoo?"

She pulled at the sleeve again, tugging the silk fabric down tight. Her gaze stayed pinned on Max with messy hair and a cute, monster grin.

"Ava's got them, a half sleeve of birds and then another smaller collection on her wrist."

"I've seen pictures," she told me as if I should have already known that and put Max back down on the desktop. "I came to remind you of your meeting with Ms. Baio. It's in five minutes."

"Oh. Right. Thank you." I checked the time again, "Ava hasn't called yet has she?"

"No, I'm sorry, she sure hasn't."

"If she does call, transfer her down to Ms. Baio's office will you?"

"Of course I will." Lirik smiled kindly and closed my office door behind her.

Ava had already been with the doctor for well over a half hour. I hit the speed dial to call her. My call was forwarded to Ava's voicemail before the line would even ring. "Baby, don't forget to call me... please." I left a rushed message and then waited around in my office for as long as possible.

With no return call and seconds to spare, I knocked on the doorframe of Margaux's open office door. Her office space is vast and white. White walls, white furniture and white shelves. But what the office lacks in color is more than made up for by the photos on display. Pictures are everywhere. Some are of her with very rich and famous people -- politicians, musicians, actors and other designers -- but most of the pictures are of Ava, and I always pause to look at each and every one of them.

She has photos of Ava as a baby that I adore. I stare at this tiny little girl with her head covered in dark hair, eyes wide and wild green, and I think of our future children together and how loved they will be. There are images of Ava in diapers with a toothless grin and chubby rolls for thighs. I look at Ava in school uniforms, Ava in Halloween costumes, and Ava in frilly red Christmas dresses with huge over-the-top scowls marring her face, Ava in baseball hats holding foul balls. Each one makes me smile. The pictures track every cute, fun and awkward stage of her life, including the time from when she met me to our wedding and then our son and now her pregnancy.

A new frame had taken front and center stage on Margaux's desk and it included the three of us, Ava, Max and me, sitting close to one another on my parents' deck on the Fourth of July. We have bare feet, suntanned cheeks and easy smiles. Each of us has an absent-minded palm pressed against Ava's belly, where the baby rests.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?" Margaux watched as I looked at the pictures, the same ones that I had seen in her office dozens of times before.

"The most beautiful person I've ever seen."

"That's the first thing anyone who comes in here does -- they stare at my Ava. No one cares that I dressed The Rolling Stones," Margaux pointed to a picture of herself with Mick Jagger and Keith Richards. "It's always Ava. One glance at her is all the inspiration I need to make an entire line of clothing," she mused. "Anyway, Ari how are you?"

"I'm well. How are you?" She didn't look well at all.

"I am just fine, thank you. Busy week, lots of stress. We have a lot to do."

"We do."

I took a seat across the desk from her, next to a photo of Ava celebrating her seventh birthday, missing her two front teeth and wearing a purple plastic princess crown and a Montreal Expos jersey back from when they were still a team. Her nose crinkled the same way Max's does when he is excited. "I have a list ready of the buyers for the new children's line and also, I met with Corina Harris last week."

"Oh, wonderful, I cannot stand that woman."

"Hmm. She's the worst." I agreed.

Together, Margaux and I scanned through pages and pages of notes for Fashion Week. Scores of last-minute issues that were highlighted and asterisked still needed to be addressed. She added a pile of more work onto my already too-busy schedule.

"Everything is a go for the musical acts?" Margaux looked up at me from over her eyeglasses.

"Yes, but I'll have my assistant call the agents to do a final follow up."

"Good. How do you like Lirik?"

"She seems fine. We only just met."

"You are going like her, Ari. She will take good care of you. I have had the pleasure of working with her in the past. She's a very aggressive and determined young woman. We are lucky to have her on our team. She's brilliant, Ari. She comes from a much different line of work, in all honesty, she's too good for the position as an assistant. I expect that you'll treat her with respect. No yelling at her like you did the other one."

"How do you know this woman?"

"Like I said, we've worked together in the past. Lirik and I share the same passion. Go easy on her this week. Fashion Week isn't something she's used to. It'll be hell on her. It is hell on everyone."

"Hmm." My glasses bumped up my forehead as I rubbed at the bridge of my nose. "Ava hasn't mentioned Fashion Week much."

"I talked with her about the show over lunch just the other day," Margaux reassured me. "She's excited to announce the new children's line with me. She's nervous, naturally, but she'll have you there for support. She'll be great. People love seeing Ava, you know that."

"They really do."

"Beauty like hers is rare. She has a certain je ne sais quoi that most people would kill for."

"Mmm."

Margaux sensed my hesitance. "I need you on board with me. If Ava sees that you are wavering about her attending the Saturday show, she'll back out on me. This entire event is based around her -- the future of baio is riding on this."

"I am protective of her. I can't help but have cold feet about this situation."

"I know you are protective, Ari, and that is why I like you. You always put her first."

"Someone has to."

"Let's just get this issue between us off our chests right now."

"Fine."

"I know that you never approved those images for marketing. I did it myself. The photo hit print. It's a done deal. Ava is baio. Her image is what sells. The timing on this couldn't be more perfect, ten years, new faces, new babies, new clothing line. I want this. Let's not forget that I still own this company. Baio is mine until I die, and then you two can piece if off, burn it down, or run my name into the ground, but not a moment sooner."

"I thought Ava would want to review the images first."

"She'll be fine with the ad campaign. She is darling in it, what's not to love?"

"We are really putting her out there. I worry she'll get too much exposure. The media has a frenzy when she is spotted already. What if this hype pushes her image too far into the spotlight? Privacy is important to us."

"You're thinking too much about this. It's one little week. She'll be at the show for three hours tops and I have given approval for just one interview. By the way, her dress is ready. She's going to love it! I am so excited to see her in it."

"I'm sure she will love the dress. She always does. There is nothing I can do to get you to change your mind on this? Did you see the other campaign ideas?"

"Decorators are at the show site with the image right now. You're too late."

I stood from my seat, our informal meeting was nowhere near finished but I didn't want to talk another minute about exploiting my wife in order to sell new jeans.

The image she approved for marking the event was a series of photos from Ava's private life. The most intimate in my opinion was a photo taken ten years earlier at the first ever _baio_ show. Billboards, posters and _baio_ stores and merchandise bags would be plastered with a picture of nine-year-old Ava in a sunny yellow dress squeezing Margaux's bony fingers right before the two walked down the runway at the close of the show. To me, it was obvious that Ava was scared out of her mind, but to everyone else, the photo would be sweet and would show the strong bond of a loving grandmother who set out to design clothes with her granddaughter in mind. The images seemed harmless but the intent was what hit my gut all wrong.

Ava and Margaux would once again be walking down the runway together at the close of Fashion Week during the Saturday night event. Max and I were set to join them. B _aio_ would be making the official announcement of Ava's pregnancy, the newest heir or heiress of the company, and Margaux would also be announcing her new venture, _baio babe_ ; a _baio_ clothing line for babies and children. Ava loathed the idea of carting Max out in front of all those people but Margaux can be persuasive and she had somehow won the battle.

"I didn't realize we were finished here." Margaux frowned at the untouched stack of agreements.

"I think we are good here."

"I'm on your side, Ari. Really, I am. " She said and I left without a second glance.

It had been nearly two hours since Ava's scheduled appointment and I had yet to hear from her. Ava is always good about calling me as soon as she leaves Phillips' office. Given our past together, when I don't hear from her right away, I assume the very worst. My heart was already beginning to pick up its beating pulse and my mind raced with an endless supply of what ifs.

"Messages?" I asked Lirik without breaking my stride.

She shook her head no and opened her mouth to talk, but I shut the door behind me before she got a word out and phoned Ava again. My call was sent back to voicemail. I left another rushed message and then called my mother.

"Has Ava picked Max up yet?" I didn't even give her the chance to say hello.

"He's still here. I haven't heard from Ava yet. Why? Is everything alright?"

"Go next door and check to see if she's home and then call me back on my cell."

The ache in the pit of my stomach was like an alarm bell. Something wasn't right. I had been ignoring my feelings of unease all morning, blaming my disquiet on stress and the new assistant. From the moment I reached the reception desk, something felt wrong. I paced the floor in front of my office window and impatiently waited for someone to call me.

My cell phone rang from my pocket and I scrambled to answer the call. It was my mother.

"I am here and Ava's nowhere in sight, Ari. She is probably still with the doctor." Her footsteps echoed through the line as she walked into our home.

"Is her car in the garage?"

"Let me check..." The quick opening and closing of the door leading from the kitchen hall to the garage sounded in the phone while my mother opened and then closed it again. "No, it isn't... Tsk. Here's the problem..."

"What, what is it?"

"Ava left her cell on the kitchen counter. And her new watch. Oh, lookie here and her wedding ring and necklace."

"Great."

"Ari, how many times do I have to tell you two to stop leaving your bedroom TV on? I mean, seriously that is so irresponsible -- you waste so much energy doing that."

"Ma, we didn't leave our TV on."

"I can hear talking coming from the TV in your room \-- it's clear as day."

"No you can't," I sighed. "Believe me, we weren't watching TV this morning."

She tsked again. "Boy, you two are messy. There's stuff everywhere, Ari."

"Whatever... just check to see if she left a note. She might have gone to the gym or something."

"Oh no!" My mother breathed into the phone.

"What?!" I shouted.

"Sorry!" she squeaked. "Calm down. It's nothing -- just an accident."

"What the hell are you talking about!?"

"Is that how you talk to someone who is doing you a favor?" She scolded me for yelling at her. Her tone was too playful for my frantic and worried mind. She caught on to my annoyance when I breathed heavily into the phone and then my mother went on to explain the situation she stumbled across. "It's nothing, a photo frame must have somehow fallen from the wall. There's some broken glass on floor. It's not a big deal. I'll clean it up before Ava gets home."

"What? Why would a frame just fall from the wall?"

"Accidents happen. Darn..." She kept talking but her chatter was mostly just to herself, "That was my favorite picture of you three. You'll need a new frame for that one for sure... completely shattered as if someone ripped it from the wall and threw it across the room ... what a shame. There is a lot more glass than I would expect from that tiny frame... oh, wow, there's glass everywhere..."

Fear hit me like a tidal wave. Sweat stung my pores and I froze in my chair and hairs painfully pricked the back of my neck. Something was wrong, -- the bedroom TV was rarely on, when I left our home that morning the place had been clean, the frame would not just fall from the wall.

"Ma," I swallowed a balloon-sized gulp of air, "Ma, get out of the house now." I could only whisper to keep from screaming.

"There is glass everywhere, if I don't vacuum this up, Max will end up with a cut on his foot or worse."

"Ma, you need to listen to me. Get out of the house. We will clean it later. Go check on Max and Lauren."

"They're fine, they were watching a movie. This will only take me a minute to clean." The tinkling of lose shards of glass rattled against the dustpan.

"Ma," I yelled at her at the top of my lungs, "Get out of the God-damn house right now! Someone is in there... Go!"

"Oh, my God," she whispered. The broom handle clattered on the hardwood floor and a cold chill trickled down my back, goose bumps crawled up my skin.

My mother ran through the house, the muffled sounds of her quick footsteps were the only reassurance I had that she was safe, the swooshing of the glass door was next, followed by the roaring ocean waves letting me know that she was outside the house.

I kept her on my cell phone and reached across my desk to dial 911. I reported a break in, shouted my address at them and hung up the line.

"Where are you?" I yelled at my mother.

"Home," her voice trembled and she started to cry. "I'm home."

"Stay there. Lock your doors, the police are on their way."

I left the baio office without a word to anyone. The soft side of my closed fist pounded the elevator key pad until it dinged upon arrival. My tires squealed out of the parking lot and I drove further into L.A. towards the hospital and Dr. Phillips' office. If I didn't find Ava there, then I would know that something terrible had happened to her.

Clinging on to a speck of hope, I left my car idling in front of the doctor's office and raced through the doorway to the main lobby. Too impatient for the elevator to take me three flights up, I opted for the stairs and took them two at time. The waiting room was full. I scanned every face looking for her. The receptionist was on the phone and I talked over her conversation, uncaring that I was interrupting her. "I am looking for Ava Alexander. This is an emergency."

She held her pointer finger up, gave me an annoyed and incredulous scowl and then pushed a sign-in sheet attached to a clipboard across the desk at me.

Reaching across the cheap laminate countertop and over the small Plexiglas barrier, I pushed my finger down on the phone piece, ending her call.

"Excuse me, Sir! You will have to sign in and take a seat like the rest of the patients." She gestured to the full waiting room.

"I need to know if Ava Alexander is here with Dr. Phillips. This is an emergency."

"We respect the rights of our patients. Due to the confidentially laws, I cannot release any information to you."

"Listen to me. This isn't 'releasing information' -- this is an emergency. I need to know if my wife is here, or when she left. Please."

"Ari?"

My heart soared. My burning lungs finally let go of the oxygen they had been holding since the phone call with my mother.

"Ari, what the heck are you doing here?"

"Christ, Ava. Are you ok?"

Dr. Phillips and Ava had walked together through the door that separated the exam rooms from the waiting area. He frowned at me.

"Ari, you are crossing a line." Ava's arms folded tightly across her chest in disapproval at me barging in on her at the clinic.

"No, you don't understand. We have an emergency at home and I couldn't reach you. I needed to make sure you were here and safe and not somewhere else."

Her face fell. "What is it? Is it Max? Is he alright?" Her fingers shook as she brought them up to her lips.

"Max is fine."

"What is going on then, Ari?" Worry filled her big pretty eyes.

"My mother walked in on someone breaking into our home. We need to get back to talk with the police."

"It's the middle of day." Her brow pulled into a deep stitch of confusion.

"I know... I don't understand it myself, but we have to go."

"Ava," Dr. Phillips said with emphasis, "Call the office if you need us."

"I will." She nodded at Dr. Phillips. "Thank you for all your help today." Her voice was weak and full of emotion.

I glanced at the time on my watch while she talked. She had been with him for over two hours. Something was going on with her. She was keeping a secret from me.

### Chapter 13

### Blame

"Can you describe any defining features? Hair or eye color? Any tattoos or scars?"

Ava and I sat with my mother in her kitchen and talked with police. Tears streamed down my mom's cheeks and a growing pile of tissues mounted up on her lap.

"I... it just happened so quickly. I looked up, saw people and ran. I can't remember many details. I'm in such shock. This is such a peaceful neighborhood. Why would someone do this?"

"That's what we are trying to figure out, Ma'am. Take a deep breath and try to calm down. Close your eyes and envision what it is you saw. Talk us through the minutes before it all happened. That might help jog your memory."

"Oh... um, ok." My mom gulped air and closed her eyes. "Ari called me around eleven and asked me to check on the house. He wanted to know if Ava had come home from her appointment. So, I left Max with Lauren -- the two of them were busy in front of the television. I went the way I always do and walked up their deck towards the back sun porch."

"Alright, did you notice anything different about the deck or porch?" The officer urged her to continue.

"No... I don't think so."

"When you walked in the house, you went through the back door?" he prompted.

"Yes, the glass kitchen door."

"Did you have a key?"

"No."

"Do you normally use a key?"

"I didn't bring my spare because I know where they hide an extra key."

"Did you use that key?"

"Yes. It was under the cactus pot like always."

"Ava, did you lock the door before you left in the morning?" The police officer turned to her.

"Yes," she frowned.

"All the doors were locked?"

"Um. I don't remember. Maybe?"

"You have a home alarm system. Did you engage the alarm this morning before you left the house?"

"I don't know. I can't remember. I was really rushed."

"Alright. Agatha, continue please. What did you see after you entered the home?"

"I walked into the kitchen and I didn't notice anything right away. Ari asked me to check to see if Ava's car was in the garage and I did. There were no cars there and I only glanced in -- nothing caught my attention -- and I just closed the door back up. That's when I noticed Ava's phone on the counter -- which was why Ari couldn't reach her -- and I saw her watch, ring and necklace."

"Ava, did you leave those items on the kitchen counter?"

"Yes," She nodded. "I was running late. I just forgot to grab everything."

"Alright. Continue." The officer nodded back at my mother.

"Right after that, I heard talking and just assumed it was their bedroom television. They leave it on quite often," she added.

Ava face pinched tight, "No, we don't."

"The sounds were coming from upstairs then?" The officer re-directed them back to the matter at hand.

"Yes, from their room."

"Do you know what they were saying? What the conversation was about?"

"No, the talking was muffled. Then I started to notice the mess, but it didn't really register in my brain as an intrusion. I just thought the kids had probably had a busy weekend chasing after Max. Mess happens," my mother said, shrugging her shoulders. "Then I stepped in a pile of glass and found a shattered picture frame. I started to clean it up but Ari told me to get out of the house. I ignored him at first, but after he said people were in the house, everything just hit me all at once and I knew he was right. I looked up and there they were, standing at the upstairs balcony right above me."

"Ok, good. Try to describe everything in your mind's eye. How many people where there, how tall, what did they look like? Were these men or women?"

"I think there were two, maybe three. I saw a man, he was the only one I got a clear view of. He was tall, taller than Ari, and he had short buzzed hair. His eyebrows were dark and bushy. He looked very strong... you know, well built? He was intimidating. There was someone standing behind him, to the side. I think it may have been a woman, I saw a lot of hair, long hair, and the person was much shorter than the man, real petite, like Ava. But the man blocked her from my view and I didn't get a good enough glance. Like I said, I just ran."

"Have you ever seen these people before? Did you recognize them?"

"No. No, never. At least, I don't think so. I didn't see the woman's face. Something about her seemed vaguely familiar, but then again, I don't really know."

"Did anyone see you?"

"Yes. He was watching me. I don't know how long he was standing there but I know he was watching me."

The officer jotted down my mother's statement. "Can you remember anything else -- anything at all that you think seemed strange or that stands out in your mind? Did you see a vehicle? Did you see anyone leave the house? Was there any unusual behavior around the house earlier that morning?"

"No... I don't know..." My mother cried some more. "It was just so scary." Her fingers shook and she dabbed the corners of her eyes with a wadded up and over-used tissue.

Ava got up from her chair at the kitchen table, refilled my mother's tea and set a new box of tissues down in front of her. Ava was quiet and hadn't said much at all since we arrived at my parent's house. She seemed nervous or apprehensive. Her silence made me feel even more on edge than I already was.

Static and mumbled speech called out through the officer's radio and he stood from the chair. "Would you two mind doing a walkthrough of your home? Then we can get an idea of what's stolen and you'll be able to assess the damage."

"Sure," I said and turned to Ava. "Baby, why don't you stay here? I can check things out on my own. You don't need to see our house like that."

"No." Her head shook from side to side. "I'm going."

"Ok." I reached out and took her hand, knowing that I would lose the fight with her about staying back with Max in the safety of my mother's house. The two of us followed Officer Bryant next door.

The cell, wedding ring, necklace and watch were sitting untouched on the edge of the kitchen counter. Ava's brow puckered as she eyed them speculatively. I was pretty sure she was thinking the same thing I was – that the presence of her personal effects there in the kitchen pretty much obviated a motive of theft \-- but neither of us chose to comment on it.

Glass crunched under our feet at the entrance of the living room and a frame that once hung on the opposite wall lay broken on the floor. My mother was right, there was scattered glass everywhere, but I could see how she didn't notice the chaos right away. The small shards were nearly invisible against the floors. Only when the sunlight beamed in from the great window was the glass made visible, reflecting and bending the rays to illuminate the walls with daylight and an occasional bling of rainbowed color.

"Oh!" Ava blinked after she took in the sight of the room. My glance bounced around the great big room. Nothing appeared to be missing. The stereo and entertainment equipment along with the TV were unharmed. We had a state of the art in-house speaker system that was intact, and Ava's iPad and MacBook sat untouched on a sofa cushion right where we had left them the day before. Our random collection of belongings had been scattered about and knocked around and had fallen over or been broken. Every picture on our fireplace mantel was smashed. Our bookshelf was a disheveled mess and more glass from other framed photos were in shards on the floor. I watched Ava and waited for a reaction. She remained composed and quiet as she observed the violence that our home had suffered.

We walked in silence room by room through our entire house just as we did on the night I proposed to Ava, and, just as then, I watched her and waited nervously for her reaction -- for something, any kind of sign or hint as to what was going on in her head. She is always far too composed at all the wrong times. Officer Bryant, trailing behind us, reminded the two of us to touch as little as possible. We moved through the den, laundry room and spare bedrooms and each room was the same -- shattered picture glass covered the floors. We walked hand in hand up the stairwell towards Max's room. One small photo of Max with me was smashed on his dresser. It had been taken earlier in the summer when my father took us out on his new catamaran. We had spent the morning fishing and Max caught a blue perch the size of my hand. The picture showed the two of us proudly holding Max's first catch before letting it go back to the sea. A tear slipped down Ava's cheek and her free arm wrapped protectively over her tummy. She closed Max's door behind her.

A feeling of dread overcame me.

Ava didn't talk until we reached the open doorway to our bedroom. And when she opened her mouth to talk, her words were drowned out by an onslaught of fierce tears and emotion. Our room was trashed. Ava gasped and shoved her face into the nook between my shoulder and chest. Her body trembled.

We cherish our memories and every room of our home proudly puts those memories on display with a lifelong chronicle of pictures. A good percentage of the pictures we had carefully placed in our bedroom, setting them on Ava's dressing table, on the nightstands and the armoire. We had even hung boudoir frames in the walk-in closet and in our bathroom. Each one had been smashed to pieces. The frame that covered the space above the headboard of our king-sized bed had held various images of the two of us knotted together in profound closeness and was now completely destroyed. The glass was shattered into a million little pieces and the pictures that had been tucked underneath lay ripped to shreds on the bed and floor.

Blood coursed through my veins so fast my heart felt that at any moment it would simply explode. I was angry. This wasn't a robbery. This was personal and it had been born of hate. The act came from evil and was intended as a warning. Nothing had been stolen and nothing was missing, but our lives had been reduced to broken images on the floor.

"I'll give you two a moment. You should pack an overnight bag for the evening. You can't stay here tonight."

I waited for the officer to leave and join the few others in uniform who had been collecting evidence and snapping photos of the scene.

"Who did this? What are you keeping from me?" I pulled Ava back away from my chest and held her back at an arm's reach. My jaw tightened, my molars crunched behind my ears and I demanded details from Ava through my closed teeth.

"What?" She wiped tears from her face.

"Who did this? What is going on? You're keeping something from me, I know it. If our family is in danger, you have to tell me. This isn't just about you."

"Ari, what are you talking about?" She yanked her shoulders free from my grip. "I have no clue why someone would break into our home. You think I had something to do with this? I am feeling utterly violated! A stranger has been in our son's room and you think I had something to do with it? That I knew this would happen? How dare you!"

"You're keeping something from me. What is it? Is it The Kakos -- there are more, right? You just don't want to tell me. Someone is after you again? Tell me Ava, now!" I was angry and she was appalled.

"What? No. I don't know. I don't know anything!"

"Why were you with the doctor for so long? What's going on with you?"

"Nothing is going on with me!" she screamed.

"You're lying to me."

"I'm through here! You're a jerk, Ari!" She stormed off in the direction of the stairs, turned and then yelled, "I can't believe you said what you just said! You're such an ass!"

"I'm fine!" she squawked at a concerned police officer downstairs and stormed out of the house. From the bedroom window, I watched her walk up the beach, away from my parent's house. She was going to August, I knew. And she still had no cell.

"Hello?" August grumbled when he answered my call.

"Ava is headed down to see you. She's on foot with no cell. Would you please keep an eye out for her and text me after she gets there?"

"Oh, sure."

"Thanks, August."

"Everything alright?"

"No. Not even close. Someone broke into our home and completely trashed the place. My mom is frightened to death and to top it all off, I've gone and pissed off Ava."

"Holy cow! Are you serious? Someone broke into your house? Is anybody hurt?" What can we do to help?" he asked and I heard him call "Collin!" while holding his hand over the mouthpiece.

"We're rattled but okay. I just need you to bring Ava back down to my parent's house after she's done bitching about me. And maybe try to calm her down a bit?"

"That might take a while."

"I'm sure it will."

We hung up and I packed an overnight bag, trying to touch as few things as possible, all the while dodging sharp shards of glass. The thought passed through my mind that we would probably be picking hard-to-see slivers up off the floor and out of the bottoms of our feet for as long as we lived in the house. I talked briefly with Officer Bryant and told him that it didn't appear that anything had been stolen. If something had been taken, it was small, nothing immediately noticeable.

"Your mother must have scared them away before they could take any goods."

"You really believe that crap?" I had lost any patience I may have had that day.

Officer Bryant instantly became defensive. "Break-ins similar to this one have become more popular with celebrity homes. The fans get a little obsessive and sneak in the house when no one's home to try and get a glimpse of celebrity life. They may even take a little souvenir or two." His nonchalance was insulting.

"My wife isn't a celebrity. You can see the extent of the damage here. No one was trying to "take a little souvenir." My wife and I are victims of a crime. Her ties with some stupid clothing line have nothing to do with this. There is well over one hundred thousand dollars in jewelry right there in plain sight." My finger jabbed the air at Ava's belongings. "Those people, whoever they were, had to walk by Ava's diamond more than once. This wasn't just any break-in. If they wanted to steal our things, they would have."

"We're still gathering information. More details will come out in the investigation."

"Bull shit. I'd put money on the table that I'll never hear from you again."

I shoved Ava's ring, necklace, watch and cell into my pocket and left. I couldn't tolerate being in my own house any longer. The sight of the broken glass, the police moving in a seemingly random way from room to room, and our belongings thrown carelessly about the house – all of it was overwhelming. Too many questions that would very likely remain unanswered whirled in my head. I was certain that what had happened in our home on this day was not random, nor was the perpetrators' goal a chance to steal valuables or to get a glimpse of Ava's life. This crime was meant for us and us alone ... and it shouted hate.

It was evening before I got back to my parent's home with a pathetic and haphazardly packed overnight bag for three tossed over my shoulder. A text from August whistled through my phone right before I walked in through the back door letting me know Ava had arrived at the condo.

The crowd in my mom's kitchen had grown since we left. My father, uncle, aunt and Rory had all left work immediately and headed straight for home. My sister, Julia and Max were seated at the island. Max was eating a hotdog and chips.

"Where's Ava?" three people asked me at once.

I sighed, "Well I'm just fine \-- and thanks for asking. How are all of you?"

"Ari, honey, no one asked you how you were."

"I... God, Ma, jeeze, it's sarcasm. That was the point."

"I don't get it." She batted her eyes. "Where did Ava go? What was your house like? Was anything stolen?"

"Nothing is missing," I said and yanked down my tie. "The house is a disaster; I don't know how we'll ever clean all the broken glass or replace our pictures, most of which have been ripped to pieces. Ava's with August. They'll be along later." I had opened the refrigerator and was talking into it as I pulled out the rest of a jumbo pack of hotdogs, relish, onions and mustard.

"What are you doing?" My mother stood up from her chair and half of the tissues she had used fell from her lap to the floor.

"I am freaking starving! I've not eaten all day. Ava and I are stuck crashing here tonight so I am making us dinner."

"Ari, sit, I'll make you a nice meal." She took the hotdog pack out of my hands.

"I want a hotdog," I said and pulled the pack back from her.

"No, you don't. Those are for Max when he's here. I'll make us something we can all enjoy. I'm sure everyone is ready to eat." She took the pack away from me again and opened the refrigerator to put them away.

"Ma, I want a hotdog." My fist wrapped around the refrigerator handle, keeping it open. I refused to let her close the door.

"Don't be silly!" She tried to shove the door closed.

My knuckles around the handle tightened. "My house was trashed, some assholes broke nearly everything I love, Ava's mad at me and I am starving. All I want is to eat a hotdog. Why can't you just let me do this one thing?" If I had been speaking to anyone other than my own mom, I would have used the "f-word" by now, several times. I wanted to scream the word so badly, I had to bite my own tongue. My mom knew it too.

"Would anyone else like a hotdog for dinner?" she said, capitulating completely and sniffling a little at having failed to control the dinner situation. Everyone in the kitchen raised a hand.

"I'll be on the deck." I took the jumbo pack back from her limp hand, gathered the buns and all the condiments, hauled them to the back deck and tossed them onto the table. I sat by the grill, spread the hotdogs over the heat and kicked my feet up on the deck railing. The sun seemed to be only inches from the horizon and the few clouds in the sky were a swirl of purple, orange and pink.

"Hiya, Daddy."

"Oh, hey!" I let out a breath and smiled for the first time since the morning, then scooped Max onto my lap. He leaned the back of his head into my chest and we stared out to sea together. His little hand crept up and found comfort on my cheek. His fingers smelled like ketchup and salt and his hair smelled like Ava's shampoo.

"I love you, sweet boy." I breathed him in again and was thankful he was unharmed and clueless about the day's disaster.

"Love you," he yawned.

"This sunset, Max used to be my favorite view. All day, I would look forward to sitting right here to watch the sky fill up with beautiful colors and see the sun sparkle on the waves and then kiss the sea before disappearing from sight. Then one day I met Ava and I saw her smile. Her cheeks turned the same shade of pink as the sky did." I pointed towards the rosy cotton candy-like clouds. "Now this magnificent sight pales in comparison to her."

He nuzzled his head in even closer to me and relaxed in the dip of my arm. "My mom, your Yaya, used to tease me and say that the only girl I would ever love was the sea. I spent all my time with the waves, telling the cool waters my secrets. My favorite color was that sweet, vibrant green that only the ocean can create. Then I locked eyes with Ava and saw the prettiest sea green imaginable. Her eyes sparkle like calm water in the sun. And in her eyes, I saw my whole world, my reason to breathe. Now, the sea green of her eyes is the only color I see and she's the only one I love. The sea is jealous of her."

Max giggled at the idea.

"I was a fool when I met Ava. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when it came to love. I thought I knew everything. I had no clue that love was this powerful. I never imagined that I could love this much. I hope one day that you get to love someone the way I love Ava. And that that person loves you the way Ava loves me."

"Hey." A firm hand patted my shoulder and I glanced up at my father. "Don't mean to interrupt, but we're starving, too..." He thumbed the small gathering of people standing behind him waiting, not particularly patiently, for something to eat. I rolled the hot dogs into a pile and passed them out like money to greedy, hungry hands. Even my mother had one. I waited for Ava to come home and my shoulders sloped in relief after I heard her and August at the bottom of the deck steps.

"Oh, wow, whatever that is, it smells delicious," Ava said to August and she climbed the stairs.

I had her plate ready with two dogs drowning in mustard and relish and a side of crunchy chips. Max skipped to the gate and greeted her with a hug around her leg. She peppered the top of his head with kisses then raised him up by his underarms and balanced him on her hip. Her stomach stuck out more than Max could wrap his leg around so instead he hitched his knee over the top of her belly. She skirted around the pool and August winked up at me, giving me the all clear signal. Very likely she was still mad at me, but at least the risk of her throwing something at my head had diminished thanks to his efforts.

Max whispered in Ava's ear and she paused at the edge of the table where everyone sat. Her eyes narrowed and her forehead scrunched as she strained to understand what he was saying.

"Daddy said the sea doesn't like me?" Her nose crinkled like a bunny. "Why would he say that?"

"That's not what I said! Max, tell her that's not what I said."

"Is too."

Food had recently become the quickest way to Ava's heart and I knew hotdogs were one of her latest weaknesses. I held her plate up as a way of surrender and she put Max down on his feet and traded him in for her supper.

"Thanks." She actually smiled at me. "I've wanted one of these since breakfast." Ava's teeth sunk around her first hotdog and she closed her eyes, moaned, and then licked the mustard from the corner of her mouth.

"Did the police say anything after I left? Do they have a lead or anything? Any prospects?" She crunched a chip.

"Uh," I scratched a cheek. She wasn't going to like this at all. "They are kind of thinking that this is related to those celebrity vandalisms they've been seeing up in L.A."

"What?" her nose scrunched again.

"It's been in the news lately – evidently there's a group of loser thrill seekers who have been breaking into celebrity homes and stealing stuff."

"I haven't heard about it..."

"Yeah, well, I guess it's been happening for about a year now. They caught some people a few months back, and now others are mimicking the behavior. Breaking into known people's homes is sorta the trend now."

"That's absurd."

"You know that one chick who was in that new zombie movie?"

"Kimmie Lovelace?" My sister chimed into the conversation.

"Yeah, that one. They got her house last week and apparently, it got trashed too."

"You don't actually believe that is what happened to us do you? That's not it!"

I didn't believe that was what had happened to us. Not even for a second. But, my mother was listening, practically hanging on my every word, and if she thought I believed that bogus story then she would, too. And I had to keep in mind that her level of worry over unknown perpetrators with a personal agenda would be debilitating.

"Officer Bryant said they're still gathering all the facts. More details will come out in their investigation. We can stay here tonight and start the clean up tomorrow."

A breath pushed between Ava's lips. Her eyes were sad. The shape of her curved mouth was sad. The slope of her shoulders was sad.

"Hey, Baby, don't worry."

"Don't worry? Ari, this is serious. They need to find this person. I feel so, so... dirty. Someone was in my house. Touching my life... he was in our room. Max's room!"

"I know."

Even though we were all gathered together on a rare Monday night for dinner, the mood was heavy and all anyone could talk about was how this incident could have happened, why us, who could have done it. The questions piled up but we came up with no more answers than we had when we started. I still suspected Ava was holding on to something that she wasn't ready to reveal. She kept catching my speculative gazes in her direction and excused herself early. I followed after, determined to crack her façade.

### Chapter 14

### Hotdog

I was alone. Waves crashed, sea spray hissed, jagged rocky earth jutted out from the sea like harpoons. My fear was surreal and terrifyingly intense. Unyielding tears saturated my eyes and rolled down my cheeks to my quivering lips, my weakened knees tottered with each step I took. I was marching to my death, surrendering my soul. I had been betrayed. Desperate and frantic, I filled my mind with images of her – her lips, her eyes, her soft blushing cheeks, her smile, her warm touch and soothing smell, and at last, when she filled and consumed every corner of my mind and heart, I sucked in a last breath of salty sea air and jumped. My fate was the water, not the rocks. The jealous sea was angry with me and grabbed hold of my ankles, pulling me down and swallowing me whole. Cold water trickled past my mouth, slipping down my throat and into my frantic lungs. Suddenly something ignited deep inside me and in a panic I kicked and struggled and fought for my life.

"No!" I yelled and jerked violently awake. My body was pressed flat to the mattress, I was hot and the air of my parents' guest room smelled stale, like warm bodies. Ava lay draped across me with one leg tucked under my own and the other kicked over me. Her belly pushed into my side and I could feel the gentle nudging kicks of our unborn child. Half asleep, I somehow managed to liberate one foot from the tangled sheets, providing cool air for my toes. Ava's head was heavy on my arm and my fingers were tingly from the loss of blood flow. I turned my head in search of cool air and tickled my nose against the top of Max's springy hair. He was spread out across my chest with his arms wrapped around my neck and his head tucked just under my chin. My free arm enveloped him in a secure hug. My palm and spread fingers covered his tiny back completely.

"Ava?" I whispered after sucking in a breath for my pleading lungs. "Baby?" my voice was nothing more than a throaty croak in the darkness of our room. My brain tried to talk my arm into moving so I could nudge her awake but the tingling limb was heavy and unresponsive.

A mix of our sweat suctioned my shirt to my dampened skin. My heart continued to race from the fear caused by my nightmare. In it, I had taken my own life -- that was clearly what I had been doing. I jumped over the rocks and into the sea, allowing the tide take me under. There was no fight left in me until my final moment. Only one tragedy could motivate me to end my life, and that was not only losing Ava, but all of them – my wife, my baby and my son. Something was happening. I could feel the change, the pressure of panic deep inside my chest. The anxiety was so strong that it controlled everything. It orbited and settled like a cloud around my belief that Ava was keeping something from me -- a secret that would inevitably lead to our deaths.

"Ave... Baby?" I gave her a gentle bump and coaxed her with my shoulder until she whimpered and squeezed me even tighter.

"Hey," I said louder in her ear at the risk of waking Max, and Ava blinked her wet eyes at me. She had also been having a nightmare -- the one that made her sad.

"Hey," I said again, but she was still half asleep and did not answer. "Ava. Try to wake up. I need to talk to you." My voice was rough, my mouth bone dry and scratchy.

Ava arched her back in a stretch and I slipped my pinned arm out from underneath her. She peeled her legs from mine and my thigh felt as though its tender skin was being pulled away from a leather car seat on a hot summer day.

Ava rolled onto a pillow, kicked more blankets away from her body and went straight back to sleep.

"Ava?" Disappointed, I nudged her again, but got no response.

My lips brushed the top of Max's head and I rolled with him to my side, easing him to the mattress beside Ava. He went willingly, probably just as hot as the two of us, and embraced the dry and unused pillow beside me.

Staring straight ahead at the dark ceiling above me, I tried to examine and thus dismiss what I had seen in the nightmare, to find some other excuse for what I had done. I had given my life to the sea but as soon as my body started to die and it was too late to save my own life, I uncovered the will to fight. The regret over what I had done was unbearably fierce.

My head spun, the room felt like a tilt-a-whirl ride. My vision blurred and a dizzying nausea hit me like a ton of bricks. Bitter bile tossed up by my stomach burned when the fluid shot up my esophagus. I kicked at the sheet in desperation to free my tangled foot, ran down the hall to the guest bathroom and shoved my head face first into the toilet. The sick sound of half-digested hotdog chunks splashing into the toilet water only made me puke more violently. A new tidal wave of sweat stung my pores and in between my gags, I pulled the wet shirt from my back. My fingers clung to the edge of the bowl and I emptied my stomach completely. Swear words muttered from my lips between my heaving, spewing and panting.

" _God damn it."_ I cursed and spit mustard flavored stomach acid from my mouth. _"Shit."_

"Watch your language!"

Moaning, I pushed my hot sticky back against the smooth, cool bathtub, bringing my knees to my chest, my elbows to my knees, then buried my face in my hands between my legs.

My father kicked the lid down on the toilet and flushed. He grabbed a hand towel, ran it under the sink faucet and dropped it on the back of my bare neck. The first contact with the cold terry cloth on my skin was a shock to my system. My nerves shuttered and gave a jolt, then relaxed as the cool sensation brought down my body temperature.

"What are you doing up?" I coughed.

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Isn't it obvious? I am puking my damn guts out."

"Again with the language. What's your deal?"

"What do you want?" I was too sick and annoyed to put up with being chastised.

"I thought I'd come in here to help you out, but I'm starting to regret my decision." My dad smeared a glob of toothpaste onto a brush. He stuck his hand out, helped me to my feet and handed the toothbrush over to me. I shoved the bristles into my mouth greedily and scrubbed the nasty grit from my tongue and the back of my teeth.

"Was it something you ate?"

"Next time remind me that I don't like hotdogs, would you?"

"I think that is what your mother was trying to do."

I nodded then turned the faucet back on, spitting toothpaste and grime into the sink. Sucking water from the faucet, the cool liquid soothed my burning throat. My stomach protested at being filled again and I gagged.

"Take it easy," my dad warned and he turned the faucet off. "You'll just throw it back up."

The bathroom door handle turned and my father jumped to the side and shoved his palm against the wooden panel, keeping the door from being opened by whoever was on the other side.

"Oh. Andy?" A mouse-like voice called from beyond the bathroom door and my father tugged at the handle, opening it only a crack.

"I'll be back out in a sec," he said quickly and quietly.

"Uh... I think I'm just going to head home now."

"I'll see you out, then," he said to Julia and then turned to speak to me. "We can have a talk in my office, Ari."

I blinked in complete shock at sound of Julia's voice.

For the first time that late night -- or early morning -- I looked down at my watch to check the time. I hadn't removed my watch that evening as I usually do because Ava and I had been up for hours fighting in my old bedroom at my parent's house. I had accused her again about keeping something from me. I yelled and blamed her for what was happening. She vehemently denied keeping secrets but I wouldn't let the topic rest. Eventually, she turned away from me and closed her eyes, and I crashed right after, without brushing my teeth, washing my face or removing the watch. We made up in our sleep by curling our bodies together and snuggling close. Later, we were joined in bed by Max who stumbled down the hall in a sleepy state from the guest room. After all that, then my nightmare and then the toilet full of hotdog vomit, it was only three a.m. and Julia and my father were awake together in the middle of the night.

****

"Are you sure you'll be alright?"

Julia responded with a head nod. The two of them, she and my father, stood close together at the back door in complete darkness.

"You're welcome to stay the night, you know that, right?" He talked in whispers near her ear.

"I know. Rory will wonder where I am if I don't go. I can't keep lying."

"Be safe. The others are still near, don't let anyone see you."

"I'll stay down by the water."

My dad wrapped his arms around Julia and brought her to his chest in a hug. Her shoulders fell and her knees sagged as she caved in toward him and cried. Julia's hands clenched fistfuls of my dad's shirt.

"I hate this," she sobbed. "I hate what we are doing. I hate who we've become."

"Me too," he whispered back and laid a kiss on the top of her head.

Julia looked up over his shoulder and saw me staring at them from across the dimly lit room. Her eyes flashed, her grip immediately loosened, and she let go of him. She wiped her face dry and squeezed my father's hand then disappeared in to the black night, pulling the hood from a black sweatshirt over her head.

My dad turned coolly around, nodded his head at me and then in the direction of the back hall towards his office.

A small pile of legal folders sat to the side of one open file containing a fat stack of documents. The tab was marked with a small x circled in black marker. My father closed the folder and placed it on top of the others with a heavy sigh.

"I was working before she came by."

"It's three in the morning."

"I am aware of the hour, thank you, Ari." He shoved his palms into his eye sockets and rubbed his eyes, then raked his fingers through his hair.

"What was Julia doing here?"

"She came by to talk." Slowly he spun his wedding band around his finger.

"Bullshit. Tell me what's wrong. What are you two doing?"

"How is Ava?" He changed the subject on me. "Did she speak with Dr. Phillips?"

"It's really none of your business."

The skin around his eyes pulled into crowfeet like wrinkles. He rubbed the scruff on his cheek and gave me a cloudy answer, "You don't need to concern yourself with Julia, you've got your own issues to deal with."

"Is she in trouble?"

"She has me in her corner. I plan to help her navigate this path."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you have your own life and your focus should be on Ava and Max. Not Julia." He tried to force a reassuring smile up his lips, but the look wasn't convincing. "How is Ava dealing with the break-in that happened today? Is she okay?" He changed the subject back to Ava again and I allowed it.

"I'm not sure. I know she's upset but I can't help but feel as if she is keeping something from me. What happened today wasn't a normal vandalism. This was vicious and cruel. Every photo of Ava and me was ripped in two -- right down the middle. It was a message. She has to be keeping something from me. She has to know something."

"What could she know that you wouldn't? Ava wouldn't keep things from you."

"No. 8! No 9! No 23!" I yelled in a half whisper as a spasm of panic took over me. "Whatever kind of name she wants to give these, these demons. She knows someone is out there hunting her and she isn't telling us."

"There were seven Kakos, Ari, no more. Ava wouldn't a keep a secret like that -- not anymore. Not with a baby and Max to worry about. You need to put your trust in her." He exhaled and released a puff of breath from his pressed lips and then looked down on me with pity and with sorry eyes. "Perhaps the detective was right, maybe this act was done by someone with a passion... an obsession." He looked back at me, straight in my eyes as if he were telling me something.

"An obsession?"

"Yes."

"Some crazed person, obsessed with Ava, walked into our home just to rip up our pictures. I don't believe it."

"Maybe you've stated the situation inaccurately." He spun his ring again.

I pushed up from the chair with clenched fists and a tight jaw. Nausea churned and made my head spin again and I turned away from him and left his office.

Back in the bedroom, I stumbled in the dark on our overnight bag, which had been blocking the air-conditioner vent and when I did, a cool rush of air shot up from the opening with a hiss.

Max had spread completely out with his arms and legs taking up the majority of my side of the bed. Ava was curled up and facing him, leaving me with the other side of the mattress, the side no one ever slept on. I snuck carefully onto the bed, trying my best not wake the two people I love the very most in the universe and I curled up with Ava, spooning her. My arm draped lightly across her body where my hand rested on her belly. Ava sighed in her sleep and inched back, pressing her body into my chest. I rubbed my face into her hair and silently thanked God for bringing her to me. I prayed for her and for Max and for the three of us until I fell into a dreamless sleep.

### Chapter 15

### H Word

Bright sunlight blinded my already blurred vision. I rolled my face into a pillow and searched the bed for Ava with my fingers then moaned when I found that I was alone.

A peal of Max's laughter echoed down the hall, followed by the smacking of his bare feet against the floors and then my sister calling after him, begging him to slow down and be quiet.

"Max, no!" she pleaded but the bedroom door flew open anyway and he came barreling into the room and leaped onto me in the bed.

" _Ow_!" I groaned when his knee flew into my stomach.

"Sorry! I tried to stop him but he's a spoiled little monster and doesn't know how to listen to me when I tell him not to do something!"

"He's fine," I groaned again. Max's happy smile was worth the discomfort and I let him torture me with his tickling, fast moving and sticky fingers.

Lauren leaned in the doorway on her shoulder and crossed her hands over her chest.

"Everything alright?" My eyesight was still blurred and my glasses were next door at home and probably shattered along with everything else in the house. I could only focus my vision by forcing one eye completely shut and relying solely on the other for sight.

"No," she said with attitude. "Everything is not alright. When are you going to wake up?"

"What time is it?" I felt around the covers for my phone, but with all the tossing and turning that had gone on between the three of us the night before, my phone was likely lost somewhere deep and dark in the king-sized bed, sheets and blankets.

"Ten o'clock!" She huffed.

"What the heck!" I shot up and Max went flying from my chest and landed on a stack of piled up pillows. "Why did you guys let me sleep in this late? You cannot be serious! I had to be at work at eight! Holy hell. Where's Ava?"

"She's working on something with Dad for the foundation fundraiser. They had a meeting this morning. Ava didn't want anyone waking you. She said you needed to stay home and rest. She called your work first thing this morning and told them you would not be in and not to call you all day. Meanwhile, I have been watching _him_ all morning _again_ today when I should be over at my friend Mandy's house with all of my other friends, lying out by her pool while her mom makes us virgin daiquiris. But no! Here I am with cuts all over my hands from picking broken glass out of _your_ rug and a queasy stomach from cleaning a toilet with puke stains in it! I totally hate you right now, Ari."

"I'm gonna tell Mom you said the _H_ word." I teased. "Hate" is a word that has always been forbidden from our parent's home and the use of it could land us in up to a week of horrible chores like cleaning toilets or vacuuming sand out of the crevices on the sun porch.

"Go ahead and tell her whatever you want – she cannot possibly punish me any more today. Thanks to _me_ , your house is clean now. You two," She pointed to Max and me, "are free to head home whenever... the sooner the better."

"Why did _you_ clean it?" I had grown beyond annoyed with my sister.

She shuffled from foot to foot and flopped down on the bed beside Max. "I got caught sneaking out last night," she admitted. "Helping you and watching him are only a few of my punishments." Her eyes looked anywhere but at me.

"You're an idiot."

"Shut up." She threw a pillow at me and Max laughed, hopped off the bed and flew down the hall in search of something or someone else to entertain him.

"I'm serious," I pushed myself into a sitting position and found my cell phone switched to silent mode, resting on the bedside table with the charger attached, all thanks to Ava. "Don't sneak out anymore, Lo, it's dangerous. I never -- not one time -- ever snuck out of the house."

"Yeah, why would you sneak out? You were too busy sneaking around _at_ home with Julia when Mom and Dad were asleep." She gave me a snotty eye roll and if we were younger, I would have punched her in the arm and kicked her out of my room.

"Touché... you got me. You know what? Oh, whatever _._ I don't have time to parent you. Don't sneak out, don't say the H word and I'm sorry you had to clean my puke -- I'm sure that was brutal. What time is Ava coming back?"

"Not for another hour."

"Watch Max until she gets home. Please."

"What? But why? You're awake now!"

"I have to work. It's Fashion Week and I have already missed a full day of work. I am supposed to be at the show site this morning to get things in order."

"Ava said you need to rest."

"Ava is sweet. But I need to get my ass to work."

"OMG she is literally going to kill me for not keeping you at home."

"Tell her I will be home early. I'll make reservations at The Yacht Club for dinner for the three of us. But I really need to be at work today."

"Uhh," she whined. "Ari, I've been picking up glass since five a.m! Babysitting was the last thing I want to do. I am so exhausted and Max is so full of crazy energy. I don't know how you two do it all the time."

"What time did you come home?"

"I dunno -- late, like three-ish and I haven't been to bed yet." She yawned.

"Huh." I talked while I strummed through my list of missed calls. All of them were from work despite Ava's attempt to keep the callers at bay. "Who caught you sneaking back in?"

"Dad." Lauren toyed with the elastic hair tie around her wrist. "I don't think I have ever seen him so angry. He said I'm grounded for the rest of the summer."

"I'm sure."

"No, Ari you don't get it. He was so mad with me for sneaking out, that I didn't know if he was going to hug me or shake me. I sneak out all the time and he has never been like that before. Ari, he cried."

The only time I had ever seen my father cry was the day his parents died. We all cried that day.

"He worries about you, Lo. You're his baby."

"He said it was too dangerous right now for me to leave the house! What is that even supposed to mean? I was only three houses down the beach. The only thing scary about last night was stepping barefoot on a stupid sand crab!"

"Well, our house did get broken into..."

"Oh please, that was just some Ava-obsessed groupie. No one is focused on getting _me_."

"The last time someone was obsessed with Ava, you got kidnapped. Remember? You were tied to a tree, you got Ava shot... twice."

"Duh." Her face flushed and she picked at some chipping nail polish.

"Dad went easy on you last night. You wouldn't have gotten off so lightly if I were your father."

"Okay, okay."

"Did you see Julia?"

"Julia? No. Why would I have seen Julia?"

"It doesn't matter."

When I stood, my joints popped and cracked with the movement and my head gave a dizzying spin. Ava left the overnight bag on a chair with my clean clothes folded up neatly inside it. She must have gone through everything because when I packed, the clothes were wadded up and shoved in messily.

"Watch Max for another hour and tell Ava to be ready for dinner at six thirty."

"Fine," she grumbled, but I had already started to call my assistant and brushed past her to head to work.

"Thank you for calling baio! Ari Alexander's office, Lirik speaking, how may I..."

"Lirik, it's Ari."

"Oh. Hi. Are you feeling ok?"

"I'm fine. I am heading to the Fashion District right now. Transfer all calls to my cell for the afternoon. I'll be back in the office around four, I need to speak with you on an issue, so set up a meeting between the two of us. It shouldn't take more than a few minutes. I need you to call the Dana Point Yacht Club and make reservations for three for this evening at 6:30. Get Detective Jason Scott with the Los Angeles Police Department on the line. Tell him something new is happening and I need to speak with him. If he's available, put him straight through to me. I'll take his call in the car."

### Chapter 16

### NDA

"Confidential Information and Materials between Ava Zae Baio Alexander and Ari Cal Alexander aka The Disclosing Party and Lirik F. Nino aka The Receiving Party." Reading the document aloud, Lirik's eyes tightened and her light, dust-like freckles wrinkled. "For the purpose of preventing the unauthorized disclosure of confidential information as defined below," she thumbed through the small stack of papers.

"This is a non-disclosure agreement between my wife and me and you. This agreement is a requisite of finalizing your hiring process. You will find that as my assistant, you will end up spending a fair amount of time dealing with my family, Ava especially. You will have a window into our private life, including access to family matters, legal matters, personal relationships and messages from doctors, publicists, legal representatives and so forth. As long as you are my assistant, you will have this access to our personal lives -- our address, our personal numbers, our childcare information, and, in a very limited way, our finances. Hell, Fauna knew everything. My wife and I try very hard to remain private and this agreement will ensure that you do not hinder us. Really, this agreement protects all of us."

I removed the cap of my fountain pen, exposing the pointed, inky tip, and set it down on the document in front of Lirik.

"I need you to put your signature here and, in doing so, you will forfeit any ability to release information of any kind about my wife or my child or myself to anyone without my consent. I can call someone from legal up here to explain the parameters of the agreement further if necessary. If you choose not to sign the NDA, I will be left with no choice but to find someone else to fill the position of my assistant. This agreement is a must. I insist upon... it but more importantly, Ava insists."

"I understand what a Non-Disclosure is, Ari. Legal won't be necessary." She crossed one long leg over the other, picked my pen up and looped her signature across the paper in a curly, cursive scrawl on the final page of the document.

"Do you have any questions for me?"

"Do you think these kinds of things actually work?"

"Excuse me?"

"Do you really think a simple signature on the bottom of this page will protect you from anything?"

No. The answer to her question was no. A non-disclosure is nothing more than a scare tactic. Lirik's signature wouldn't protect Ava or Max. She could still take our information, trot off and tell the world whatever she wanted about us, take whatever she wanted from us, she could access accounts, review personal records and try to use them against us. We could retaliate but for what? Retaliation would only drag our own names through the court system in a pathetic pursuit to get money that Lirik likely didn't even have and we didn't even need.

"This document just outlines our trust in one another on paper. It is not meant to insult you."

"I'm not insulted at all, Ari. You can trust me. I am on your side."

"My last assistant signed the same agreement. It's nothing personal."

"I understand."

"I'll send this to legal, they'll make you a copy and we'll be good." I nodded, expecting her to excuse herself and I redirected my attention to the contract awaiting my approval on my desk.

"Did your last assistant ever have any issues with the agreement?"

"Why do you ask?" I blinked back up at her.

"I was only wondering."

"Fauna and I never had any problems, no. But speaking of issues, as you know, we had a break-in at our home in Dana Point. I don't anticipate any more problems, but I would like you to call the security desk and have one of them escort you to your car if you find yourself working late."

"I will. Do you have any idea of who did it?"

"No, we don't know."

"What are the police saying? Anything interesting? That is, if you don't mind my asking..."

"At this point, they don't know any more than I do. Has Detective Scott been in touch?"

"I'm sorry, no. I spoke with an officer at L.A.P.D. and he said Detective Scott retired this past winter. He wouldn't give me any personal contact information but took a message and said he would try to pass it along to him."

"Great. This is just great."

"How frightening. Your wife must be scared."

"She's upset, but Ava doesn't scare easily. Frankly, whoever it was that broke in, they are quite lucky that Ava wasn't home."

"Oh really? Does she put up a good fight?"

"You have no idea the lengths my girl will go to to win."

"Good. That's very good."

Lirik's finger traced the fabric of her shirt above where I knew her tattoo would be.

"Mmm. Margaux mentioned that you two have worked together before. How do you know her?"

"Margaux is a friend of mine. We met a few years ago and we have worked together on some smaller projects."

"Projects? What kind of projects?"

"Just things." Her long, thin fingers continued to circle the silky fabric on her arm.

"You've worked on projects with Margaux in the past and yet you are still friends. That's quite an accomplishment. Kudos."

"Margaux and I both share the same passion. Aren't you fond of her? She is your grandmother-in-law after all."

"I like Margaux. We don't always see eye to eye but she and I also share the same love -- Ava."

"Ava." Lirik smiled at the mention of my wife and twirled the sonogram frame around on my desktop to face her. She looked down at the grainy black and white image of our unborn child. "And Ava is having a baby. When's the baby's due?"

"October the seventeenth."

"Congratulations. Eleven weeks to go then? You two must be anxious."

"Not anxious. Eager. And yes, eleven weeks is about right -- give or take a day."

"Eleven weeks." She said as if she were making some kind of mental note. "Has her doctor mentioned if the baby may come any earlier?"

"Uh no." My eye tightened at her questions. "Not that Ava has told me about anyway."

"You don't go to the appointments with her?"

"I go whenever I am able."

Lirik kept rubbing that space, the small inner space just below the curve of her elbow. It drove me crazy.

"How long have you had that tattoo?"

"Oh this? A while." Her hand froze.

"Well, does it still hurt?"

"No." She took her hands and tucked her fingers under her legs. "I made your reservation. You are set for six thirty at the Yacht Club. If you don't leave now, you'll hit traffic and you won't make it in time. I will make the copy of the NDA and send the original over to legal for you. As I said, you can trust me." Lirik straightened the pages, stood and excused herself from my office.

### Chapter 17

### Dinner

"Baby? I'm home!"

Max giggled loudly from the back deck and then followed the laugh up with a pitchy squeal.

"Hey! We're out here," she called to me through the screen.

"Are you two ready to go?"

"Almost!"

"I'll grab a quick shower and change and then we need to get going if we're going to make our reservation."

"K!" she yelled and Max darted across the sun porch and down the deck steps with another happy laugh.

The walls in the house were bare and cold and I no longer left my shoes on the mat by the door. Slivers of glass were still cropping up here and there – shocking reminders of what had happened. The vast, open space felt lonely without Ava's happy, glossy smile matted, framed and hanging every few feet. Our house looked as if new owners were still in the process of settling in and making memories of their own. Our bedroom had seen the worst of the mess. No more pictures of the two of us together knotted close and in love. Just the bed and its attendant chair and night tables remained. A piece of glass, long and sharp, glinted in the evening sunlight and I plucked it from the area rug and tossed it in the garbage can with a clatter.

The hot shower did little to relax me. Max and Ava's voices carried up from the living room. They chirped in excitement and I could hear words like "soft," "furry," and "so cute."

"Oh crap, an animal." I slammed off the hot water faucet.

"Please, Mama? Puhlleeese?"

Oh, shit, an animal. And Max is begging to keep it.

"I dunno, Max. It's up to Ari."

"No, no, no, no, no!" I yelled frantically, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around my waist as I raced down the steps to put a stop to the bringing in of any stray pet.

"Ah! You let it in the house! Never let them in the house!" I skidded to a halt in front of Ava who had a tiny, black, fur ball of a kitten on a blanket in a laundry basket set in the living room. Max giggled and petted it over and over again. The mewing continued unabated.

"Ari?" She flashed me a hopeful smile.

"No guys. No, Max. No, Ava. No cats, no dogs. No." My nose itched and tingled at the mere sight of the kitten.

"Daddy!" Max's eyes immediately filled with great big wet tears.

"Ari!" Ava scolded me. "You don't need to be a jerk!"

I softened, but only a little. "Max, Buddy, I'm sorry. We can't keep him. Cats make Daddy sick -- like crazy-wanna-rip-my-eyeballs-out sick. Where did it come from? Take it back."

"Max found him trapped under our deck. He rescued the poor kitty all by himself. It's kind of sweet actually..."

"Ava, let's get real; you don't even like animals and I am seriously allergic to most of them. Especially cats. That animal cannot be in our house."

Meanwhile, Max had taken the kitten from the basket and had it curled around his neck like a scarf.

"Ah! Max, no!" I heard myself shriek, sounding, even to myself, a lot like a girl terrified by a spider.

"You never told me you were allergic."

"Deathly," I assured her, indulging in a bit of overstatement.

"What was I supposed to do, Ari?" her teeth clamped around her bottom lip. "Max has already named it. He wants to call it Fluffy Kitty."

"No! Not a name! Never name them!" My fingers raked through my dripping wet hair and I pulled at the ends with clenched fists. "Just tell me that you didn't feed it. You didn't give it any food, right?"

Ava shrank back and gave me a half frown, half smile. "He was hungry..."

"Ava! You cannot be serious right now! We have to go or we'll be late to the club and we cannot keep the cat for a second longer. If you feed them, they never leave," I yelled, and at my words, her half smile turned to a full frown. "Max, Buddy, the kitty -- he can't stay here. I'm sorry."

I peeled the kitten from Max's probably too tight grip before he could bond with it any more than he already had. Tiny, razor-sharp claws dug into my bare skin as the animal tried to scale my torso and nuzzle my neck. Itchy cat hair stuck and matted itself to my dampened skin. I threw open the back door and shut it behind me. From the kitchen window, the sound of Max doing his best wailing sliced through the air. I carried the cat down the path, away from our house, ripped its claws from my bloody flesh and dropped it discreetly behind a bush in the neighbor's yard, hoping they would find it and take care of it.

"I cannot believe you just did that," Ava said after I got back into the house. Her arms were crossed tightly over her chest and Max was still screaming. His face was blotchy red and wet from rolling tears. Then the sneezes started, with itchy nose and watery, inflamed eyes close behind.

"We need to never do that again," I said, and sneezed. Max bellowed more loudly and called out for his "fluffy kitty."

Feeling sorry and a bit like the jerk Ava had said I was, I bent down to Max's level and tried to talk calmly with him, but Max kept screaming. I saw with my customary astuteness that talking rationally with a three year old after having just dumped his new best friend behind a bush was out of the question. I sneezed again and then again. Fur was everywhere and the closer I got to angry, the more I sneezed. The sneezing continued and got worse, my nose and eyes were raw from my constant rubbing. I took the laundry basket filled with kitty blankets and fur and tossed it out on the front lawn and then threw Max, with cat hair covering his clothes, over my shoulder and ran with him up the stairs, all while he continued to scream like wild. Throwing open the shower door, I hopped with him into a cool water spray, where I rinsed us both off, freeing our skin from dander and allergens. He screamed even harder. And even harder still when I dried him off and yanked on clean clothes.

"We are going to be late. Let's go." I hollered at Ava but she didn't make a move towards the door. My hand wrapped around her elbow to lead her to the doorway. Then I sneezed and then sneezed again. "Did you touch it?" I sneezed again.

"Yeah..."

I sneezed again. "Go shower... now! Wash your hair, too! Hurry up."

"We won't have time for all that."

"We have time if you do it now! Hurry."

"Ugh!"

"Ugh my ass! This sucks! Cats suck!" I hollered at Ava as she walked slowly off to the shower. "Baby, hurry, please! We have to go!"

She tossed her long, wavy hair over her shoulder with the flick of her wrist.

"Max?" I sat beside him and sunk into the soft cushions.

"Grrrr." He shoved his face into a throw pillow, muffling the angry noise.

"Max, sweet boy... I am sorry." I rubbed his back and he dug his big toe into my leg and tried to push me away from him. Then, I really made him mad by tickling the bottom of his foot. He laughed despite his anger, then shoved his other big toe into my leg even harder and then made the angry growl again.

Not sure what to do or how to make him happy, I sat with Max and allowed him to thrust his toe into my leg, causing a small bruise for me and some slight satisfaction for him. Ava walked down the stairs in record time, clean and cat-hair free, but she had traded her pretty, navy eyelet dress and chic flats in for yoga pants, a ribbed tank top and bare feet. Her hair was soaking and still ratty with wild tangles. "What are you doing? We need to go now. Come on and change. Seriously, Ava!"

"I'm not going anywhere."

"But I made reservations."

"Your assistant made reservations."

"So? What difference does that make?"

"Ari, I am in no mood to go to that snooty Yacht club with you."

"Why? Because of the cat? I am allergic, I can't help it! C'mon."

"No, not because of that silly cat."

"Then why?"

"You are acting like a jerk and you never tell me anything. I had no idea you had allergies..."

"You're kidding me right? I tell you everything!" My fingers ripped through my half-dry, uncombed, messy hair. "You're the one keeping something, Ava. Let's get real. You and I both know that whoever broke into our house and ripped our lives to pieces didn't pick us out by accident. We know it was because of you... because of who you are. You are having nightmares and crying as if you have lost everything you love and you won't tell me anything about what frightens you. You're having anxiety attacks again and you won't tell me what the trigger is. Christ, you were at Phillips' office for two hours! You know someone is after you. So just tell me already. Just come clean, get it out! Tell me what we have to do to keep us safe again. Whatever it is, I'll do. Just please tell me. I hate it when you lie!"

A twinge of guilt scratched at the back of my mind with a distant flicker of my own frightening nightmares.

"I'm not lying!"

"There you go again. One lie after another. "

"You think I'm lying? You're the one keeping secrets, Ari."

My stomach churned. "Stop it, Ava. Now."

"No. I won't stop. Tell me, Ari. Tell me who you are. I deserve to know."

"Who I am does not matter. This is about you. Not me." I felt dizzy.

She stared at me, defiantly and an overwhelming surge of panic coursed in my bloodstream.

My jaw tightened. I only stood there and stared back at her with feelings of growing anger, guilt and fear. Neither of us was going to talk. My eyes shot for the door and then back at her and I walked away. I could not, _would not_ , have this talk. The _who am I_ garbage that was supposed to define me. And so, I waved a lazy, asshole, see ya later wave in the air and left the two of them, Max with tears streaking his round, baby boy cheeks.

A coward, I slipped onto the beach and I walked up the shore, straight to Julia.

****

"Hey you." I stood anxiously on the doorstep in a sort of uncomfortable fidget. I didn't know what to do with my hands so I shoved them deep into my pockets.

"Hey _you_!" Her smile was warm and tension eased from my coiled shoulder muscles.

"Would you like to go to dinner with me?"

"Me?"

"Yeah, you."

"I would love to!"

"Good."

We took Julia's car and rode in silence the few blocks down the harbor road to the Yacht club. Seemingly endless rows of sailboats, catamarans, yachts and fishing vessels floated on top of the sparkling water. Julia walked beside me up the path and into the dining house.

"I have a reservation under Alexander," I said to the host, who stood stiffly at a mahogany podium and peered down at an open book sketched in penciled-in names and times.

"Your reservation was for six thirty." He scowled up at me.

"Yeah, I know. We're only twenty minutes late. Is there anything still available?"

"This way," he deigned to respond and I marveled at his ability to establish me as the supplicant and himself as lord of the manor. He left his post at the pedestal and opened the door leading to a crowded dining space.

Looking in at the room, I realized immediately that the Yacht club was the wrong place to have brought Julia. I had joined the member's-only club to ensure privacy for Ava and Max. The diners, and there were many, were all faces I knew, people I had grown up with and friends of my parents who were eager to say hello. Julia and I weaved closely together, her hip and shoulder softly nudging mine, through tightly packed tables. I failed miserably at not making eye contact.

"Ari, how nice to see you!"

"Mr. Tregio, Mrs. Tregio." I offered a nod and half smile and then skirted past them before they could stop me to talk any further.

"Ari, sweetheart!" My mother's nosey church friend grabbed hold of my hand when I walked by and she clamped on to me with her old, cold and bony fingers.

"Hello, Ms. Keene."

"How's that little boy your mother is always bragging about?"

"He is doing fine, thank you."

"Getting big?"

"Mmm. Bigger every day." I have never been a fan of small talk.

"And Ava?" She asked me but looked straight at Julia.

"She's getting bigger too," I teased, and Ms. Keene giggled like a girl. "But really, Ava is just fine, thank you. Ms. Keene, you remember Julia."

"Of course. Hello, dear." She frowned.

Julia squirmed under her judgmental gaze and offered a little wave.

"I'll be sure to tell my mother you said hello. Have a nice evening."

"Try not to have too much fun." She warned, gave my hand one more cold squeeze and then released me.

At last, Julia and I were seated at a center table near the windows ... like two fish in a glass bowl. The maître d' placed three menus at the table, lit a candle with an overly extravagant flourish and turned after wishing us a lovely evening.

"I take it I wasn't your first choice for a dinner date," Julia said, picking up the three menus, handing me one and tossing the extra to the side of the table.

"I'm sorry, Jules. I'm a jerk," unthinkingly repeating Ava's assessment.

"Nah. I think you are sweet, Ari. Just sometimes... yeah, you're a real jerk." She laughed the way my mother does and touched her fingers gently to her mouth.

"Forgive me?"

"Always. I can never be mad at you. Especially when you smile like that. You know that and it really isn't fair."

Covering my palm over my mouth I asked, "Is this any better?"

"Not even close." She batted her lashes. "Your real smile is in your eyes."

"Mmm, can't do anything about those." I winked and regretted it.

She touched her lips again to hide her small laugh.

"So what is it? What's going on at home?"

"A stupid fight. I don't want to talk about it."

"Ok." She let me off the hook easy. "But you know, stupid fights are my specialty. Rory and I argued about socks this morning."

"Socks?"

"Don't ask." She batted her lashes again.

"Tell me what's going on with you, Julia. That's what we need to talk about."

"Do you think that tonight we can just be friends and talk like old times? Can we keep some topics off limits? I could use a break from all the heavy."

"Yeah, I'd like that, a lot."

"So..." she strummed her fingers on the crisp, white linen tabletop, searching for a neutral conversation. "The fashion show! Thank you for getting us tickets."

"Nah, Rory did that."

"See! I told you - you lie! You're horrible at it by the way."

"That bad, huh?"

"You definitely need to work at it."

"I'll just stick to the truth then. In Rory's defense, he did _try_ to get tickets."

"He's good at trying, I'll give him credit for that anyway."

We fell silent again and Julia fidgeted with the silverware and napkin.

We were saved by our server, an older woman with tight skin but a head full of thick gray hair who looked down at us expectantly. Her lips were overly puffy from a recent Botox session and she covered them with bright red lipstick. "Can I get you two something to drink?"

"Water."

"Water," I nodded.

"Ok, two waters it is. Do you need some more time with your menu?"

Julia looked up at me and I waved her on to place her order of shrimp cocktail.

"And for you, Sir?"

"Just the water."

"Got it." She frowned and walked away.

" _Cha! Ari!_ You know I hate eating by myself."

"You aren't eating by yourself." I said and crunched a slender, dry and unadorned bread stick.

"You know what I mean."

"I can't eat right now. I just needed to get away for a minute. You are the first person I thought of and now all I want to do is fix things with her and..."

"And instead you are stuck here with me at this romantic, candle-lit dinner overlooking the pier that was intended for you, Ava and Max."

"No..."

"I told you, you really are awful at lying."

"Cut me some slack, Julie. I'm just trying to spare your feelings."

"I love it when you call me that."

"Mmm. I like it too. "Julie" reminds me of when we were younger."

"My Daddy always called me Julie."

"I know."

She spun her bracelet around and around, the diamonds glinted against the water glass and the crystal candle sticks.

"What did you do to yourself?" My chin prodded the air in the direction of her Band-Aide covered wrist.

"This..." She smoothed the peeling corner down, pressing the worn-out adhesive into her skin only for the corner to roll back up as soon as she removed the pressure from her fingertip. "This is a part of the things we aren't talking about tonight."

"That little Band-Aide is off limits?"

"Yep. And your argument with Ava is off limits?"

"Yep."

"So... we cannot talk about the things going on in my life, and we can't talk about your life. What do we talk about?"

"I have no clue."

"Gosh, who knew dinner alone would be so hard? We used to talk for hours."

"Mmm... what happened to us?"

"Ava happened." She rolled her eyes.

"Don't," I warned her angrily and she paled.

"Oh, God. I didn't mean that, Ari. At least, I didn't mean it like _that_. I'm sorry. I just... I meant that it all happened so fast -- you had this new girlfriend for a couple months, she went away and then all the sudden she popped back up and _boom_ \-- she was your wife and then like two minutes later you had a _kid!_ And twenty seconds after that she's pregnant! All I am saying is that you've been busy. You found your girl and you've had a lot going on. You've had a lot on your mind these last couple years. You and I just lost touch a little bit. It's cool. I love Ava. You know I love Ava right?"

I nodded. "You're fine... and you're right, I have been busy. I'm sorry."

"No, don't be. You don't owe me anything. You're allowed to grow up."

"It did happen pretty fast."

"Uh, yeah, it did!"

The waitress returned with Julia's appetizer.

"Thank you." She offered me a small smile from the corner of her mouth.

"For?"

"For the shrimp," she said as she dipped one hapless little sea creature into the cocktail sauce. "But mostly for thinking of me first. I like that you came to me. I always turn to you for just about every problem in my life. It's nice to be needed by you once in a while."

"I need you," I admitted and she gave a rare but pretty blush. I regretted my words but I didn't want to take them back for fear of hurting her feelings. It was the truth. There was something about Julia that I needed, that I would always need. "You're a good friend to me."

"I would do anything for you, Ari."

"I know you would. Can I ask you one off-limit question?"

She dipped another shrimp. "Only one."

_What is going on with you? Why were you with my father the other night? What is under that God forsaken, dirty Band-Aide? Why are you always crying_?

"I know Rory proposed to you. Why did you say no?"

She blinked, surprised by my question. "How do you know about that?"

"I heard you two last weekend at my parent's house. Why did you tell him no, Jules?"

"For a lot of reasons."

"Give me one."

Her finger circled the edge of her water glass and she cleared away dribbles of icy condensation as she talked. "He asked me to marry him on the Fourth of July, during the fireworks. It was really beautiful and very unexpected." She smoothed away more cool droplets from the glass one finger stroke at a time. "He scored a perfect proposal; everything was just exactly how I dreamed it would be ever since I was a little girl. Rory said all the right things. And he had the ring." Julia looked down at her bare finger.

"Our Grandmother's ring?"

"Yes." She nodded shyly.

Very few possessions had been salvaged when my grandparents died and what remained had been divided among our family members. We were each lucky to get one small, tarnished keepsake. My mother, a broken pearl necklace. Lauren, a broach worn on my grandmother's church coat every Sunday for twenty or more years. Nick, the wallet, worn and tattered, that Cal had forever carried in his back pocket. Rory was honored with the coveted ring that he one day would give to his fiancé. I had wanted the ring for my own girl but wasn't willing to make the trade. I simply could not part with my grandfather.

"The ring is so pretty," Julia said and I looked up, noticing immediately that she had started to cry. "It's too pretty for someone like me. I can't wear that ring, I don't deserve it. I would bring too much shame to Elodie. Elodie and Cal would never have approved of me."

"Julia! Elodie loved you. Why do you think such awful things about yourself? Elodie would be so proud of the fact that Rory chose you. You are a part of this family, Julia. Your father was a part of this family. You wouldn't bring shame to her. Why do say that?"

"They lived and died for what they believed in. I don't have Elodie's respect anymore. I mean, if she were living, she wouldn't like the person I have become."

"What have you become?"

"That's the part I can't answer. I have lots of reasons not to marry Rory. I love him, Ari. I need to keep him safe."

****

Julia dropped me off on our road a block away from the house. I cut through a neighbor's yard and slipped onto the beach to walk the rest of the way home. Max's black kitty ran behind me in the sand, struggling to catch up ... with hopes of digging more claws into my skin I was sure. I lost him when I cut up the path to our tall and narrow deck steps.

Burnt grilled cheeses sat untouched on a cold pan on the stove. They were charred and completely inedible. Her music was on, _Radiohead_ , a dead giveaway that she was upset. Thom Yorke warbled from the in-house speaker system. The sound quality was abnormally bad with bits of static cutting through every few measures. I found her in the living room on the sofa and Max on the floor with a book.

"I'm sorry." I started.

Her eyes were red and swollen.

"I'm sorry, Baby. I am so sorry. I hate myself for acting like that. Please..."

"You just _left_ us."

"I needed some air."

"Air? Am I that suffocating?"

"God, no! I can't breathe without you. I don't know what I was thinking... I wasn't thinking." I sat sit beside her and to my surprise, she didn't shove me away. Trying my luck, I put my hand on her knee. She allowed it so I trailed my fingers up her leg and palmed her belly.

Ava climbed on to my lap, straddling my hips. She placed her hands over mine and guided my palms to each side of her belly right where the baby was kicking. She moved her hands away and smooshed my cheeks between her palms. Keeping my face in place, keeping my eyes on her eyes.

"I love you," she said and then whispered to prevent Max from hearing her words. "But you need to listen to what I am saying. I am not keeping anything from you. Nothing. I promise you that I am not keeping secrets. If I knew that someone wanted to harm the loves of my life, I would kill them. I will kill them."

She meant it.

"Do you understand?"

I nodded a yes as best as I could between her pushed palms.

### Chapter 18

### Breath

"Hello?" I whispered from the doorway of our darkened home with a small hope that Ava was possibly still awake. It was Friday, near the end of Fashion Week. Rehearsals had kept me away from home much later than I intended.

"Meow."

"God dang it!" I jumped.

"Mew."

The stray cat sat just on the other side of the glass door on the open sun porch and begged for food.

"Shoo! Go away." I whispered at the stupid, black, fluffy thing.

"Meow, meow, meow."

"Arg! Ava, why did you feed the damn thing?" I cursed under my breath and stared back at the tiny kitty that looked up to me through the glass with wild, hungry eyes.

"Mew."

"If I give you this will you go away?" Deli meat danced between my pinched fingers.

"Mew. Mew."

Blocking the bottom of the doorway with my foot, I kept the cat from sliding into the house and tossed out a few slivers of fresh turkey. The kitty pounced on it with delight and finally shut up its incessant mews.

And that is when I first heard desperate breathing. My legs locked frozen in place at the sound of loud, breathy gasps that echoed throughout our dark home.

"Ava?" Chills crept up my back, tingling along my spine and then prickled my scalp. Hairs lifted on my arms and stood on end in high alert.

The scared, panting breaths were followed by a tortured, pain-filled scream for help.

" _Oh, my God. Ava!"_ Running through the house, I followed the source of the screams to a beam of light that came shining down the stairs from the upstairs hall.

"Ava!" I yelled in a panic. "Ava!" I screamed for her.

The cries for help, for someone, anyone to make the pain stop grew louder and turned into grunting, animalistic howls of agony.

Flying up the steps so fast that my feet barely touched the floor, I threw open the bedroom door with a crash and skidded to a confused halt in my effort to find her. Ava's palms were pressed against her cheeks, her mouth hung open wide and she sat in silence on the bed alone. She stared ahead at the TV with a look of horror marring her otherwise beautiful face.

"What the hell!" I shouted.

"Shh." She didn't take her eyes off the screen and I moved forward to look at what she was viewing. With one glance at the TV, I immediately whipped my head back around, blocking the ghastly image from my sight.

"Good God! What on Earth are you watching?"

"Birthing videos. Remember?"

My palm smacked my forehead. "You had a doctor's appointment today."

"Uh huh."

"They gave you the videos to watch."

"Uh huh."

"Oh, Ava, I'm sorry, Baby." A shaky, relieved laugh chocked out from the depths of my lungs. "Jesus..." my heart pounded so fiercely it felt as if it might explode in my chest.

"Shh!"

We had planned to watch the videos Ava's doctor sent home together. We had made a date. A weird date, but a date nonetheless and I had stood her up. My job had been to bring home some dinner. My idea had been to bring home takeout from our favorite Italian place, but from the looks of the screen, Italian would have been a piss-poor choice and I was lucky to have forgotten.

Ava's jaw dropped in absolute terror at the pictures before her. Her hands pressed to her smooshed cheeks and her eyes bugged out of their sockets. The woman in the video screamed again and Ava cringed. As much as I really didn't want to watch a woman who wasn't my own girl give birth to a child that definitely wasn't mine, I sat next to Ava on the bed and forced my eyes open wide. I wrapped my arm around her and she eased her body toward me.

Fifteen agonizing minutes of screaming horror passed and I don't think either Ava or I had the benefit of a single full breath.

The baby was finally delivered and Ava cried.

"That was... sure... something." I shoved my knuckles into my eye sockets and rubbed hard in an attempt to erase the images that were burned into my brain.

Ava let out a half giggle, half cry. "What have you done to me?" She wiped the moisture from her eyes and moved her hands away from her face and onto her swollen belly.

"I would tell you I am sorry for knocking you up, but I'm not. I am so happy you are having my baby."

"I'm scared." Admitting to fear was a big confession for Ava.

"You? You are the bravest person I know. What could you possibly be afraid of?"

"That." She nodded towards our paused, flat screen, HD TV, probably regretting her choice of the huge screen for watching a birth. The visual of a stranger giving birth had no need of being blown up and offered in high definition. I would have suggested watching the birth of a child on a laptop or an iPad -- something _much_ smaller.

"Is it going to hurt?"

I coughed back a laugh. "Um, yeah. Like, a lot. Did you not just hear that woman screaming like a wild animal? Christ, Ava I thought someone was killing you when I got home!"

"Ugh, Ari!" She prodded me with her elbow.

"What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to lie to me." She looked up at me from under her lashes. Her green eyes were wet with fresh tears. My breath hitched in my throat at her words. I do not lie but I would do absolutely anything for her.

"Lie?"

"You know - _everything will be fine, it won't hurt a bit_ \- lie to me."

"OK." My stomach soured. "Here it goes..." I sucked in a breath and looked anywhere but into her eyes. Even for love, I couldn't look into those melting eyes and lie to her beautiful face. "You won't feel a thing. We will fall asleep together in each other's arms and dream about our little brown-haired baby with pink lips and rosy cheeks and a tiny kitten-like cry, ten fingers, ten toes, a little nose and two bitty ears. And when we wake up, the stork will have come and left our baby resting happily in your loving arms." I lied and my stomached churned with the unease.

"Do you swear?" she whispered.

"Of course I swear. I promise," I lied again.

"Thank you."

"Anything for you." I moved her chin up to look her in the eyes. "Ava, I would do anything for you."

"You would lie to me?"

"I would lie to you, but only to keep you safe and happy."

She leaned up and kissed my lips. "You were late tonight, Ari. Your greatest responsibilities lie here at home. Not at _baio_. I need you. Max needs you. This baby is going to need you. Please try harder at keeping your work from interfering with your home."

I nodded. "I will."

"Thank you."

"So what'd the doctor say anyway? What did I miss?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "The baby weighs three pounds and is about fifteen inches long. He has a strong and beautiful heartbeat."

"Healthy?"

"Yep."

"We still have nearly ten more weeks before we can hold him. I don't think I can wait that long."

"Me either. I can't take my mind off this silly pregnancy. This baby is all I ever think about anymore. I am going crazy with all the unknown fears that this child brings. I have so many questions."

"Your doctor isn't addressing your concerns? Maybe you should call Phillips and have him refer you to another obstetrician. I don't want your concerns going ignored. Ava, this is very important, it's serious."

Ava rolled her eyes at me. "Not those kinds of questions."

"Then what?"

"Us."

"What do you mean "us"?"

" _You_ are the person ignoring my concerns. _Who_ will this baby be? Will he be a fate or will he be like you? If he's like you, what does that mean -- what will his responsibilities as a deity be? And how will we even know and when will we know?"

"He'll be like you," I answered and her bunny nose scrunched in response. "Our child is a Fate, Ava. Any child we ever have together will be a Fate."

" _Why_?" Her face fell in a sort of disappointed frown.

"It's predetermined."

" _But how?"_

"It's hard to understand."

"Try me. I want to know. I'm not an idiot, I'm sure I'll understand. You can't just know this stuff and assume that I know, too. You have to tell me these kinds of things, Ari. Who we are may not be important to you, but it is to me."

"Who we are is important to me, Ava."

"Then explain this to me. Make me understand. Why a Fate? Why won't our children be like you?"

"You are a Moirai. As a Fate, you are above us all. Gods and mortals have to submit to you. It has been suggested that even Zeus is bound by your orders. Your bloodline is dominant, especially over mine. See Ava, you are way up here," I lifted my arm, pointing to the air above our heads, "and me, I am somewhere down here." I lowered my arm and drew a line in the air near my stomach. "Our children together, all of them, will be Fates."

New tears clouded her eyes. "I wanted something better for this baby. I wanted him to be like you. Whatever that is, it has got to better than a Fate."

"Oh, Ava." I kissed the top of her head. "You are perfect, Max is amazing and this child is going to be awesome. You did the hard part already for them, eliminating the Kakos and making them safe. Together, you three are going to rule my world."

"Tell me about where you come from and who you are. I want to know."

She wasn't going to stop. She would never stop. I would pacify her until the next time and eventually, I would have no choice but to cave. We would fight and she would win. The truth was that it didn't matter, I wasn't lying. Who I am does not matter. But to Ava, the real story, the long version – _that_ would hurt. She would question me and that's when the real fight would begin.

My lips continued to press into her sweet smelling, soft hair.

"I'll tell you what you need to know." Sinking down into the pillows, I took her with me, snuggling her into my arms. "Adonis is the god of fertility," I rubbed her tummy and she giggled. "No, seriously, it's true, I'll probably knock you up as often as you let me. But Adonis is known best for his beauty... he is desire."

"And?"

"And women love him. And the rest does not matter because you are the only woman I love in return."

### Chapter 19

### Blush

"Join us."

Fear cemented in my throat, solid, tight and unwavering. My lungs were denied even one deep breath.

Blinking from sleep to wide-awake, I found her there, pinned to my body. Ava's smell, her gentle breaths and the slow, soft murmur of her heart calmed me. We were sweaty again, wet and stuck together, unwilling to peel apart for the slightest bit of crisper air. My arms, wrapped around her, tightened and I hugged her even closer to me.

"Baby?" I squeezed her and her eyelashes fluttered on my chest. She looked up at me with sleepy, loving eyes, her fingers caressed my stomach, leaving a trail of tingling flesh in her wake.

"Mmm." She gave a weak, tired smile and then pressed her lips to my hot skin for a kiss.

"Ava, I am having nightmares."

A curvy rumple knitted her brow. "Nightmares? Like what?"

"I don't know exactly but they're so real. There are two of them, two nightmares, and they both keep coming back to me." I smoothed her forehead with the soft pad on my thumb.

"Tell me about them." Her green eyes stared into mine. Sea green, so deep I could swim in them.

"I need you first. I need to feel you." My nose burrowed a path to her ear and my tongue slipped around the seashell curve of her lobe. Ava's smile pushed up against my cheek and the corner of her mouth pecked a kiss onto my jaw. Her teeth grazed me.

I tugged at her nightie, a silk, sleeveless top with a narrow row of pearl buttons that dotted all the way up her tummy to the dip of her collarbone, encasing her. "What the heck is this thing?" I murmured in her ear, struggling with my one-handed effort to strip her. "This will take all morning."

"You're not up for it?"

"Oh, I'm up for it." I adjusted Ava beneath me, pinning her hips to the mattress with my knees, and looked down at her glowing skin and smooth hair. Waves of dark tendrils splayed out across the white pillowcases. As each button was undone, I kissed her. My lips followed her neckline down to the tops of her breasts. Undressing her is grand exploration, a pursuit that never fails to excite me. Ava's body entices me. The sway of her hips is a mouth-watering seduction. Each press of my lips, each biting kiss, the nips and sucks against her skin ignite a flame and her body temperature rises from warm and then to hot and then to fire.

A quarter of the way down the buttons, my mouth on her chest, she moaned. The sound of her pleasure shredded my composure and my need for her went wild. I wrapped my fists around the delicate, silk fabric and ripped her shirt open. Dozens of pearly, beady buttons popped with a snap of the thread and rolled along the bed around her.

" _Sweet Jesus."_ Always astounded, I murmured a prayer, a litany.

Ava is a goddess and I had her naked and I marveled at her. I ogled her. Ava blushed all over and I reveled in the knowledge that I am the only man in the world who will ever see her loveliness and splendor. She is mine. The rose gold glow of her breasts belongs to me and the color of sweet coral on her inner thighs will always be mine, only mine. Her scarlet bottom is mine. Every curve of her skin flushed its own healthy shade of pretty pink, cherry, ruby, garnet, and fuchsia. It was our secret – a map of color meant for my eyes only and forever. I would kill for her. I would die for her.

"I want you." I choked in a throaty, needy husk. "Please."

Her smile was still shy after nearly one year and I kissed Ava's mouth and we melted together in a slow, carnal rhythm. More kissing and heavy breathing, my name on her lips, her teeth on my mouth, nails on my back, moans and melting eyes, Ava is always my undoing.

"I love you." We always say I love you.

"Love _you_." I nuzzled her neck, pressing one last morning kiss to the dip of her shoulder.

After everything, warm, nude bodies pushed together in passion, sweat, groans, and lust, Ava gripped the sheet around her chest and wrapped it around her, covering her exposed skin from my sight and pushed off the bed. The sheet slowly pulled away from in-between the blankets and the mattress and trailed after her as a long train trails a wedding gown. Round buttons danced along the bed to the edge where they bounced off the rug and then scattered to the hard floor and rolled under furniture and to the corners of the bedroom. White linen covered her scarlet bottom, the small of her crimson back and her rose-gold chest as she firmly shut the bathroom door behind her.

Ava is modest and it is such a turn on. I strip her down, ogle her, make love to her, and kiss her everywhere, yet she denies me her naked walk to the bathroom.

Undressing her is exciting. I'm like a kid on Christmas morning. I never tire of her bare body. Her wild side is _fun_ , it's unexpected and thrilling. I love her noises, her moves and those freaking teeth on my flesh. Her commands to my body are so hot that I can just barely keep hold of my self-control. She gives herself to me, only me, and there is nothing hotter in the world than to know that she is my girl and I am the only man who will ever have her. Her modesty is seductive and she keeps sex exciting by not always allowing me in. She denies me her private moments and her inner-most thoughts. She keeps her secrets, no matter how trivial they may be, and I understand that even though I myself have no reserve. I like to sleep naked and my nakedness, somehow embarrasses her. I pee with the door open and she _hates_ it. She catches me, slams the bathroom door and stomps away. "You've seen it before," I always yell to her and she hollers back, "that's _not_ the point!" and she is right.

Once, carelessly, because she is, after all, my wife, I barged in on her in the bathroom and she blew up at me as if I were some sort of pervert trying to catch a peek. I only wanted to let her know her Cubs had scored – I thought she would be happy. I could only smile at her blush. I even giggled when I walked away and forgot to shut the door behind me. No one will ever penetrate Ava's mind the way that I have and yet I still am plagued with questions. Intimacy with her is like nothing else in the world; it is a drug, shared on her terms only, and I am dangerously addicted.

I lay there in bed, cold now without her, and frowned at the closed door. " _Join us."_ " The man's words echoed in my mind. The fear I had felt in my nightmare, far from forgotten, was nearby; I could still taste the liquid metal adrenaline. I could feel the heavy salt in the air. I knew this scene as intimately as I knew my own thoughts, but the man himself remained unrecognizable. This time Julia had been there too. I didn't see her but I could feel her, sense her somehow. She had been in this dream before.

Incessant meowing carried up through the open bedroom window. "Welp, we have a cat," I mumbled and pushed myself from the bed.

It was the morning of the fashion show and I had to be on site until the late afternoon. I ventured to the closet, pulled on jeans and an oxford shirt and then slipped from the bedroom, into the hall and down the steps to the kitchen.

"Mew." Tiny paw and nose smudges covered the lower half of our glass door. Max's stray fluffy kitty looked up at me with golden yellow eyes, then stretched its way up the glass to leave more paw prints behind.

"Forget about it. Go away." I poured myself a cup of coffee and walked away from the door.

"Mew."

"Aahhhh!" I hollered as quietly as I could manage.

"Mew."

"Fine. You stupid, ugly, fluffy, piece of..." I grumbled into the refrigerator door and removed a few more slices of fresh deli meat from the package, blocked the bottom half of the doorway and tossed the food way out on to the deck. The kitten flew after its breakfast.

At the kitchen counter, I watched it play with its food and then scarf it all down. Finished with the meat, the cat began to lap up water from the pool.

"No, no, no...No pool water." I grumbled again, filling a dish with fresh, cool, filtered water. I grabbed a second dish, added one more slice of turkey and left both offerings by the outside back stairwell. "Stupid cat."

" _Hey_ , you."

My heart shot up into my throat at the startling, disembodied sound of Julia's voice.

"You're up early on a Saturday." She climbed up the stairway from the misty beach. The early morning foggy moonlight marked her path.

"I have to work today. What's your excuse?"

She shook her head slowly side to side and shrugged. "Couldn't sleep."

"Mmm hmm."

Julia came up to me under the glow of the porch light and gave me a disbelieving shake of her head.

"What? What'd I do?"

"It looks like you've already had an eventful morning." The pad of Julia's thumb wiped at a smudge of dry blood on the corner of my lip. Ava had re-opened my scar with her sharp, white teeth. I licked at the skin and could taste her there, a mix of midnight and warm rain. "Where's Ava?"

After a quick glance down at my watch, I pointed up at the open bedroom window, "Probably back in bed."

"You ok?"

"Mmm hmm."

"No you're not. Come on... you know you tell me everything. What's bothering you, Ari?"

"Julia, I do not even come close to telling you everything."

"Okay, fine, you _used_ to tell me everything. I know something is bothering you. I can see it in your eyes. Spill it, Alexander." She found a place on the lounge next to the table and curled her bare, sandy feet under her goose-pimpled legs.

"Why are you in my nightmares, Julia?"

"For the same reason that you're in mine." She fiddled with Max's flipped open coloring book and crayon and refused to look back up at me. "Ari, remember when the two of us used to talk all the time? Like all night long? About anything and everything?"

"Of course I do."

"Do you do that with Ava?"

"Sure. All the time."

"Those talks, that's what made me fall in love with you. Do you remember the very last night we spent together?"

"Jules, that was years ago. Come on, we can't talk about that stuff anymore. We're with other people now. It's not right."

"Remember, though? We stayed up all night in my room and we talked about everything."

"Jules, I think you should stop... It's time for you to go now."

"Remember, Ari? And..." her cheeks turned a rare hint of pink that came nowhere close to being as pretty as Ava's pink. "... and we made love and you told me that story about Persephone."

"Yes." I suppressed a chill. "What is this about?"

"It's nothing... I just remember it, that's all. Your parents came home a day early and they caught us together and then your sister found out and told Rory and you broke up with me. You said it would never work out for us anyway because you already belonged to someone else."

"I know what I said."

"Was it true?"

"I belong to Ava."

"You didn't know Ava then."

"There is no Persephone."

Her gazed burned into me.

"I belong to Ava. I love only Ava. This crap isn't about me. Tell me what is going on with you, Julia. Tell me now."

"You're right, I'm sorry." She continued to mark the colored pages of Max's book. "I have a friend that needs me right now and tending to him is getting me in a bit of trouble at home. Rory knows I am lying and I'm breaking his heart."

"What are you lying about to him?"

She shook her head from side to side and a strand of hair fell down to her eyes. I looped the strand around my finger and tucked it neatly back behind her ear where it belonged. Julia's lips lifted at the corners and she eased her head into my touch.

"You need to stop whatever it is you're doing \-- just stop, Jules. Whoever it is you're helping cannot possibly be worth the damage you're doing to your relationship with Rory." Even as I said the words, my inner self reminded me that love is a kind of silly thing. Rarely rational, often coming at the wrong time and often directed at the wrong person -- but a feeling so undeniable and so powerful that bending to the other's needs and giving yourself to that person is the only option.

"You love this person?"

"Yes."

"More than you love Rory?"

"Sometimes, yes... it's a different kind of love."

"Does Rory know you love someone else?"

"In his heart, I think he knows." She set down the crayon and tore out the corner of the scribbled-on coloring book page.

"Listen to me, Jules. Rory will do anything for you. He's the best guy I know... he loves you more than anyone else can love you."

Her lip quivered and she gasped with the onslaught of emotion.

"You can't do this to him," I went on, blithely ignoring her obvious struggle. "You can't do this to yourself. Look at yourself! You're always crying. You're so upset. You're sad all the time. Nobody can be worth these tears and your pain. Rory has never made you cry, and this person -- whoever he may be -- he makes you cry, Julie. How come every time I see you, you cry?"

"Ari!" She sobbed and threw her arms around me.

I froze and she held me tighter until I hugged her back, squeezing her to my chest and folding her body into mine. I held her closer than I had in years and she felt just as she used to in my arms - tiny and warm. She smelled the same -- orange blossoms and water lilies. Her fingers clutched the fabric on the back of my shirt and she buried her face into the nook of my arm and cried.

"Shh... I'm here." I whispered soothing words in her ear. "I am here for you. I am always here for you."

"What am I going to do?" Her words were muffled by my tear-soaked shirt.

"Just stop. Stop what you're doing. It's not worth it. Whoever he is, he isn't worth this anguish."

"You don't understand." Her body stopped its tremble, her fingers loosened their grip, she shoved a hand into one of my back pockets and then pulled back from my arms.

"I'm sorry, Ari," She looked up into my eyes, "but it _is_ worth it. It's worth everything to me. I would risk everything for it."

"Julie..."

"I have to go. Love ya." She patted her dewy cheeks with her palms and slipped out of my arms and off the deck without a glance back.

I took a crumbled piece of paper from my back pocket and read her note scribbled in Max's red crayon. _"Xo."_

"Julia!" I screamed down the beach. "Julia!"

She was gone.

****

Clusters of people bustled around backstage in a chaos of organization, making sure clothes were lined up in the correct order and that shoes and accessories were arranged with the corresponding outfits. Long metal clothing racks were jam packed with the upcoming _baio_ line and had been pushed against the edges of the corridors. Bright bulbs framed large mirrors and countless rows of tables were covered with makeup brushes and beauty supplies. At the stations sat jumbo-sized designer tote bags from _baio,_ full of gifts for the models in the show. Each bag was the same -- bright yellow and covered with the _baio_ logo. Attached to each gift bag was a fancy square of card stock printed with the image of Margaux and nine-year-old Ava as they prepared to walk down the runway, hand in hand at the first-ever _baio_ fashion show. The cards were addressed to each model by name and signed, " _Xoxo, Ava_."

Lirik had actually signed each one and then filled the totes with Ava's favorite goodies including a complete line of professional hair care products, the newest bottle of _baio_ perfume, top-selling colors from a nail polish company, necklaces and earrings from a local jeweler, skin care products, the best headphones out on the market... I had made sure to snag two extra pairs, one for Ava and one for myself. There were salted caramels from a candy shop in Oceanside, her favorite brand of lip-gloss, her favorite mascara, her favorite tea – the list went on and on. Models gathered in matching silk _baio_ robes and sat with stylists as the prep work for their hairstyles began.

The noise in the cramped space was deafening. Conversations and music bounced off the white painted cement walls, unadulterated sound with nothing to absorb it. My morning with Julia had left me with a sour stomach. Bile shot up my esophagus every few minutes, leaving a trail of bitter tasting acid that burned my throat. My head started to hurt. Pulsating, pounding throbs started in my temple and ended up behind my eye sockets. The air was thick with the smell of bodies and various products being sprayed into the atmosphere.

Bile rushed up from my stomach again like an erupting volcano and this time, I knew it would end ugly. Dodging haughty models and stylists dressed in black, I flew through the open doorway to the V.I.P lounge, grabbed a trashcan and heaved out remnants of the morning's burnt coffee and my dose of half a bottle of pink Pepto. Dimly I heard my phone ring and dimly I realized that someone was answering it.

"Ari is unavailable at the moment," Lirik said. "He'll call you later."

"Who is it?" I asked, gagging at the same time.

"It's detective Bryant calling for you. He says it is important."

"You've got to be kidding me," I said to myself, and Lirik blinked at me.

"Um, no, I'm not kidding. He's holding for you. Will you take the call... or do you want to finish up?"

Unclasping my fingers from the edge of the garbage can, I shoved my palm out for the phone.

"I'll talk to him, Lirik. Thank you." She dropped my cell into my open hand.

"This is Ari." I pushed through the backstage door out to the hot, sunny service entrance. A small row of tour buses idled as roadies carried in last-minute equipment and heavy speakers to corresponding side stages.

"Hello? Ari?"

"Yeah, I'm here... can you hear me?" I found that moving past the buses and heading toward a line of dumpsters inexplicably gave my phone an extra half of a bar of reception.

"Ah, I can hear you now. This is Detective Bryant from the Orange County Sheriff's Department. We met earlier this week after your home was invaded."

"I know who you are. Believe me, I haven't forgotten. Tell me you have good news."

"I am just calling to let you know that we recovered some fingerprints that don't match up with any we got from your family. They may belong to the perpetrator. We got some DNA samples left on some broken glass."

"And?" My heart leapt in my chest.

"And everything's been sent to the lab to see if any of it is already in our database ... so we can identify him and know who we're looking for."

"That's great. How long will all that take?"

"Well, we have a sizeable backlog in the lab right now. We're looking at anything between six to ten weeks. Maybe longer."

"Ten weeks! You can't be serious. Listen to me, something is going on. Someone is after my wife. She's not safe."

"I'll be honest with you, Mr. Alexander. We don't feel that you and your family are in any real danger. Nothing was stolen, there was no major damage to your home, in the end, it was just some broken glass. This isn't going to be a priority. I'm sorry."

"That's it? Not a priority. Just "some broken glass?" We might find something out in ten weeks, or we might not?"

"Well, there is something we have learned ... you know, your wife wasn't sure if the alarm had been set. We checked with the alarm company and found out that she actually did engage the alarm system that morning at eight a.m. Whoever entered your home used the family code at 8:10 to get in."

"And he was still there at 11 when my mother went in. She actually saw him and he was nobody she recognized."

"Well, somebody knew the code, had a key and disabled the alarm at 8:10 that morning. It sounds to me that we're dealing with someone close to you or to your wife -- a relative or a friend. Can you think of someone who may be angry with you? Do you have a list of people you've granted access to your home? Or to your personal information? Maybe at some time in the past you gave someone the code so he could get in to do work? Maybe a gardener or a handy man? I did notice that you recently had a bedroom painted..."

"The baby's room."

"Yeah, the baby's room. Did you give the decorator the code?"

"No. Never we've never done that. Only family has access and a couple of very close friends... um, my assistant, but she was at work the time that it all happened."

"Do you trust them?"

"Yes."

"You don't sound so sure about that, Ari."

"I'm not sure about anything anymore."

### Chapter 20

### Gauntlet

"C'mon, Max. This is _good_ stuff. Give it a little try. Just _one_ bite. Mama said you'd like it... and it's your daddy's favorite!"

"Hey, Ma." Coming in from the garage, I found my mother in a face-off with Max, seated and scowling in his booster chair on the other side of the island.

"Hi, Sweetie!" She leaned toward me and I kissed her cheek hello.

"What's the matter with Max?" My chin lifted in my son's direction. He was slouched in his seat wearing just swim trunks and a pout. His little arms were folded across his damp chest and his eyes were focused on the floor. Eating the spinach pie plated on the counter in front of him was not looking likely.

"Ava just pulled him out of the pool for an early dinner. He wanted a hot dog. She gave him spinach pie."

Kissing his damp, chlorine-smelling hair, I stole a bite of his spinach pie and then moved towards the refrigerator. Pulling a cold hot dog from a pack, I stabbed it a few quick times with a fork and then heated it in the microwave on a chintzy paper plate. With a big glob of mustard, I sat the plate in front of Max and traded him the hot dog for the spinach.

"Yes!" He fist-bumped the air.

"Ava said no more hot dogs!"

"Ava's not the boss."

"Ha!"

She laughed at me and I turned towards her in all seriousness. "Mom, are you sure you didn't recognize the man who was in our home?"

Her lips dropped from a carefree smile to a deep, worried frown. "Ari, I see his face every time I close my eyes and I promise you, I don't know him. If I did, you know I would tell you. It kills me that I can't help you."

"You said you thought the woman was familiar. What did you mean by that?"

"I don't know... she was just sort of... familiar... in a distant kind of way. Like maybe, I had seen her at the grocery store once or something. But, Ari, I didn't see her face, it was just her hair and maybe the shape of her body. It was just a feeling I had. I'm sorry."

If I told my mother our intruder had had the key and the code to our home and had probably been watching Ava all morning, stalking her, just waiting for her to leave the house, my mother would break down. And my state of mind couldn't handle her level of worry along with my own.

I squeezed my mother's shoulder and a small black figure popped up in the window.

"Hey, Max?"

He looked up at me from his hotdog with mustard smearing his lips.

"Someone is here to say hi to you."

His brow furrowed just like Ava's does. I am always amazed at how very similar Max and Ava are to one another.

I pointed to his tiny black cat, whose yellow eyes gleamed in at us from the sunporch.

"Eeee!" He squealed and shot out of his seat like a rocket, out the door and straight at the kitty, who happily rubbed against him and covered Max's still damp skin with lots of itchy allergen infested cat hair.

"A cat, Ari?" My mom _tsked_ and put her fists to her hips.

"It's a stray."

"You can't keep a cat."

"Last time I checked, this is my house. I can do whatever I want here."

"Last time I checked, you were allergic."

"Mmm... deathly. I called Ava's doctor, he prescribed some good allergy medicine for me and the cat can stay on the sun porch."

"The sun porch?" Her nose wrinkled in disapproval.

"What wrong with that? That room is bigger than some houses! It's a kingdom to that cat. It'll be safe there and fed and warm and overly loved. And it really makes Max happy."

"You mean it makes _Ava_ happy."

My brow rose in question.

"She called me crying the other day over that silly cat."

"She didn't."

"Ari." My mom gave me an indulgent smile. "Ava comes to me for everything... We're friends."

"Friends? You two complain about each other all the time!"

"We are also women... "

"Right. Where is she anyway?"

"Upstairs. She's getting ready for tonight."

I walked away to grab the garment bags I had hung in the back hallway and returned, shaking them at my mother to get her attention. "Listen, Max's suit is here along with the shoes. You need to have him in L.A. by seven. Call Lirik after you get there and then I can meet you backstage."

"We'll get him there on time, I promise."

"Make sure you get him in the bathtub after he's done with that cat, please. He needs to brush his teeth, make sure you comb his hair, he'll try to be sneaky out of the bath, you really gotta grab him to dress him. And pack him some pajamas for the ride home."

"Max isn't my first encounter with a child, Ari. I think I can handle a few hours with my grandson."

"Right..."

Since Ava, Max, Margaux and I were all walking down the runway together at the end of the show, Max was required to be at the function. It was something we normally wouldn't bring him to. Late hours, loud music and crowded spaces aren't suitable for three year olds, in our opinion. My mom and dad had volunteered to watch Max for the evening and bring him to the show in time for him to walk with us and then they would take him home again and get him in his bed at a semi-reasonable hour.

After shoveling the rest of Max's spinach pie into my mouth, I left the kitchen and headed to our bedroom. Ava stood at the bathroom sink wearing only my worn-out gray hooded sweatshirt. Thanks to her bump, the sweatshirt was short enough that when she lifted her arm to apply her makeup, the fabric slid up the back of her leg, revealing the smooth curve of her naked bottom. Unnoticed, I watched her from the doorway as she leaned over the sink and carefully rubbed on moisturizer and dabbed the soft skin under her eyes with white cream. She does this thing with her mouth when she puts on her eye makeup. Her lips part in a sexy way and she blinks slowly and carefully.

"You're beautiful. You know?"

"Thank you."

"May I come in?"

"Mmm. I'm almost done."

I took a seat on the counter top and observed her as she continued to do her makeup. Her skin was pearly and glowing and her hair flowed down her back in long, soft pin curls.

"Detective Bryant called me this afternoon."

She blinked up in the mirror to look at me.

"Ava, he said that you did set the alarm that morning."

Her hands shook with a slight tremble and she tossed her eyeliner back in a drawer.

"You set the alarm at eight and ten minutes later, a key was used to unlock our door and the code was entered to disable the alarm. So, I am going to ask you this one more time. What are you keeping from me? Who did this and what do they want from you?"

"You still think this is me? That I am keeping something from you?"

"Oh, I _know_ it's you."

"Ari, no... I'm not keeping anything from you. I know that I deserve some of your distrust. I know that I messed up before and selfishly kept secrets from you. I wounded us, Ari, I know that. I left a tiny mark on our marriage. I wedged a small gap between us. Because of those mistakes, you will always have a flicker of doubt with me. And I am so sorry. When I kept The Kakos from you, when I hid the scary parts of my past, it wasn't because I wanted to do you harm, I kept my secrets because I thought I was saving you. I thought I was protecting you. I was wrong, I hurt you and I hurt us. I learned my lesson Ari, I won't do that again."

"You're keeping _something_ , Ava."

She blinked at me again and her eyes turned angry. "Well, I think you're the one with the secret. What was Julia doing here this morning?"

My gaze shot past the doorway, into the room to the open window.

"Julia? Just... talking. She walked up the beach and came to say hi. I honestly don't know what her deal is. I've got nothing to do with her shit. _This_ issue is between us, Julia's not involved. You gotta come clean, Baby. I'm not going to allow you to keep me in the dark the way you did last year with No. 7. I won't let that happen this time. You _are_ going to tell me what you know."

Ava applied a shiny, nude gloss to her rosebud lips, crammed the lid back on the tube and tossed it in her messy drawer. "You're unbelievable."

She left the bathroom to change and I followed her. "We _are_ going to talk tonight. We need to get to the bottom of all this."

"Yes. We do. And we are going to start off with who you are, Ari."

Ava had made a threat and I was angry.

****

Our ride to the show in the limo was filled with a bitter silence.

A valet opened the car. The outside space we stepped into was too loud and too bright and hummed with too much excitement. We were ushered straight to a path sectioned off on both sides by thick velvet rope. Photojournalists pushed against the barriers and their flashes went off like strobe lights. The effects were dizzying. People called Ava's name, screamed her name, begged her name. Everyone wanted Ava. Her fingers trembled and her gaze jumped from one side of the path to the other, assessing the tumult.

"Look at _me_ ," I said, grabbing her hand and forcing her to ignore the noise and look up to me while I talked. "They want photos of us together on the carpet and then some of you by yourself. I'll be standing to the side so just please, don't forget to smile. _TIE_ has been granted an exclusive interview with you, but the interviewer has a strictly limited number of questions she's allowed to ask. I've previewed them. You'll be fine. At the close of the show, after we have walked out with Max and Margaux, Olivia Chavez will meet you by the curtain and escort you to the greenroom lounge, where we stay until midnight."

"I'm not _giving_ any interviews."

"Yes, you are. _TIE_ is paying top dollar for it, Ava. Now, remember to speak at appropriate times and smile as often as necessary. Our seats are at the front of the runway and there will be cameras on you pretty much the entire evening, so do not forget about them. They'll be focusing on your reactions, so stay positive."

She batted her lashes and dramatically rolled her eyes at me like a snotty teenager, letting me know that she considered my instructions patronizing. She doesn't get that I am under immense pressure at _baio_. Her eye rolls annoy the hell out of me.

"I don't ever want to see you do that again. Understand?" I said through tightly gritted teeth.

She rolled them again and my grip on her hand tightened. "You're acting like a spoiled brat," I said as softly to her as I could muster.

"Well, _you_ make me so mad sometimes that I just want to scream in your face," she responded. Our noses were a mere inch apart.

"Scream then, Ava. Just get it over with and scream." I stared coolly back into her eyes, daring her to make a scene. The moment was saved by a reprieve of sorts as our arrival was announced and we approached the arbor that marked the beginning of the red carpet. Crowds pressed toward us, camera shutters fluttered and reporters conducted interviews with celebrities, models and designers. People cheered for Ava and she gave me one last death stare before she wiped the look away and replaced it with a full, bright, convincing smile.

We were directed down the designated carpeted area to a backdrop covered with _baio's_ logo. Here the serious press members were standing, ready for us to walk their gauntlet.

With my arm wrapped securely around her waist, I pressed our warm bodies close together and we produced the smiles we knew they expected. When the time came for me to step out of the photo area, I stood and watched as she stood perfectly still, her face unwavering, her back stiff and rigid.

"This way." One of the show's coordinators waved her towards the door. I followed behind her and we were herded like cattle, sent into the theater and directed to our seats along the side of the main runway. People were watching her as we walked in and took our seats. I took my place beside her and propped my arm over the backrest of her chair. Her body and legs were crossed away from me.

I felt Ava release a breath of tension and I looked up in the direction of the door to see August, with Collin at his side, heading towards us.

"Look at you!" He cheered and kissed Ava's cheek. "You're stunning! Apparently, yellow is the color of the show! Why didn't you tell me? I would have worn something different. Did you see the pictures? You're everywhere, Ava! If people didn't know who you were before, they sure as hell know you now..."

She rolled her eyes.

"Stop doing that," I warned under my breath. She blatantly ignored me. August took his seat on the other side of Ava and I lost her to him. An usher sat Rory and Julia on the other side of Collin and, soon after, the theater dimmed.

We watched the show in silence.

We walked the stage with Max and Margaux when the show was over, the four of us waving in silence.

We formally announced Ava's pregnancy and we formally announced the launch of the new store, _baio babe,_ under a shroud of a bitter, ever growing, angry silence.

Interview time came and Ava was swooped away from me to a semi-private corridor backstage.

I could not hear her but I watched Ava as she listened intently to her questions and answered with her winning smile. Despite her anger with me, she exhibited a remarkably careful poise and elegance.

"You're a lucky man."

Looking briefly over my shoulder, I found myself staring into the face of the man who seemed to make the tabloid headlines as often as Ava and I did. A Forbes billionaire, recently separated from his wife, Dove, due to his infidelity, and currently embarking on one of the most expensive divorces in United States history, along with a bitter custody battle over their little girl.

"Yes, I know. I am very lucky, indeed." My stare went back to Ava.

"She's beautiful." He kept his eyes on Ava, too. Straight on Ava. "I'm Cameron."

"Ari."

"Oh, I know _who_ you are, Adonis." My penetrating gaze flashed away from her and went right to him.

Cameron Gallo spoke with the sort of southern accent that would make some women swoon. It was an almost fake, good 'ol boy drawl with just enough twang to prove authenticity.

"We should talk. I think you may be interested in who _I_ am," he said, moving closer to me.

"I'm not interested in anything about you. _Who_ I am is inconsequential and none of your business."

"You're right, it doesn't matter to me who _you_ are. It's Ava I have my eye on."

I felt a curtain of disassociation closing in around me. I grabbed his arm and said, "You know, you need to step back and stay the fuck _away_ from Ava. Whoever or whatever the hell you are, I'm warning you and I'm not going to warn you a second time."

"You're going to change your mind you know, Ari. And when you do, you'll come looking for me. Just ask your friend, Julia. She knows how to find me."

"Julia? You and Julia?"

He smirked and I felt the rush of blood draining from my heart and pooling in my throbbing throat. I hated this guy.

"You still don't know anything, do you?"

"What do you mean? What do you want?"

"This isn't about me. I've already lost everything _I_ ever wanted. It's about her. Them. You'll see. Xo, Ari. Until next time." Somewhere inside me something turned to ice.

He left and when my gaze returned to Ava's backstage interview site, she was gone. Olivia Chavez talked solo at her camera and wrapped up her special on the _baio_ show.

****

The greenroom lounge was noisy and crammed full of after-show partiers. I looked around the room for Ava and forced my way to the bar where I knew I could find both a drink and Rory.

"'Sup, Dude?"

"What's up?" I felt jittery and confused. I held back the panic.

"I thought Max was going to piss his pants all over you up on that stage," he laughed.

"Yeah, he was terrified. Was it that obvious?"

"Eh, I could tell he was nervous. Poor kid. Poor Ava. She didn't seem to be having fun."

I leaned in on the bar and ordered a drink, "I'm just glad it's over."

"I bet so. Now the real fun can start. Did you know the drinks are free? Holy shit, it's awesome!"

"Right, yeah. Drink up. Where's Jules? I need to talk with her."

"Ladies' room."

"You two look nice tonight."

"Yeah?" He tugged on the lapels of his suit jacket and smiled at my comment. "Julia picked it all out, she said we should coordinate or something."

"You look good. She did a nice job."

"You look like a dork, though. Just thought someone should tell you." He flicked my stupid _baio_ bow tie. I untied it and shoved the silky fabric into my pocket.

My gaze was glued to the front entrance of the lounge as I waited for Ava to appear.

"There's my girl!" Rory smiled and held his tumbler glass up to Julia.

"Bloody hell, Rory!" Julia laughed, "would you slow down, you're gonna puke on your shoes again tonight. It's so embarrassing when you do that."

"Nah, I'm cool, I'm cool."

"You're so not cool." She teased and he wrapped his arm around her in a headlock and was about to give her a noogie.

"No, no, no!" she screeched and stomped in her heels and instead, he planted a soft kiss on her head and she giggled at his embrace.

My fingers circled around the top of Julia's arm. I pulled her to me to kiss her cheek and whispered, "You look lovely, but if you don't tell me whatever the _fuck_ it is you're doing and how in the _fuck_ you know Cameron Gallo right _fucking_ now, Julia, I promise I will kill you."

"Shut up, Ari," she whispered back.

"Go ahead and enjoy yourself tonight with Rory because he deserves one night without you being a complete and utter cheating bitch and then tomorrow, everyone is going to know exactly what it is that you are doing and you are going to fix this shit."

"I'm not cheating, Ari. Now, _shut up_."

I released her from my grip.

"Rory, get me a drink. I'm going to our table."

"Sure, Babe. Hey, dudes!" August and Collin maneuvered through the crowds to the bar and passed Julia along the way.

"Thanks for the tickets to the show, Ari," Collin said, patting my back. "And the limo... that was awesome."

"Yeah, yeah, don't mention it."

My gaze scanned the room for Ava.

"She left, you idiot." August rolled his eyes at me and I wanted to punch him.

### Chapter 21

### Battlefield

Stewing over drink after drink, I was obligated to fulfill my contractual duty for _baio_ , stuck saying hello to people I don't know, thanking them for coming and then listening to them drone on about their likes and dislikes for the new line and the upcoming _baio babe_ store.

_Baio_ could light up in flames for all I cared.

At midnight, my sub-par job complete, I stood at the valet stand and waited impatiently for the limo. On the long, lonely ride home, I grew angrier and angrier. I couldn't believe Ava had just taken off without a word, without even a simple goodbye. Her attitude had reached a new level of selfish and by the time the car reached Dana Point, I was furious. My jaw clamped so tightly with rage that the pressure caused a near blinding tension headache. The driver wound slowly up our drive and I jumped out before he was able to come to a complete stop.

Storming through the front door, I bounded across the entryway and then down hall in search of her. Cold, bare walls with nail heads poking out like miniature Greek Doric columns reminded me of her secrets and the anger inside me bubbled and boiled. Ava had pissed me off more than she ever had before and my hunt for her through the house only fueled my fury.

I found her sitting in the living room, curled up in a corner of the couch, intensely studying the iPad that was perched on her bump.

"Tell me now! _Now_!" I yelled, ready for a fight. I wanted a fight, I welcomed one.

She rolled her eyes.

Seething, I ripped the tablet from her hands and tossed it across the room.

"Get up!" I spat and when she didn't move, I grabbed her hand and yanked her to her feet. "They had our alarm code, Ava. Now who is it? What do they want from you?"

She pushed away from me and walked off through the house. I followed her, my feet right on her heels and I clamped my fingers around her wrist and flipped her around to face me, backing her into a corner.

"Don't ever walk away from me when I'm talking," I snapped through gritted teeth and that's when she slapped me across the cheek, not as hard as I think she could have, but hard enough that I lost what very little remained of my self-control. I screamed in her face. I cussed and yelled at my pregnant wife. I demeaned and debased her with insults draped thickly in foul language. I accused her of vicious lies and of hiding the truth from me. I blamed her for what had happened to our house. She pushed away from me and I grabbed her shoulders and pinned her back, holding her hostage. Ava stood up to the plate and fought back. Her eyes turned a deadly black and my skin crawled, goose bumps rushed in a wave across my skin. Ava is a killer, it's an undeniable fact, a trait that, no matter how hard she might try to escape it, would always remain in her blood.

With dark and ominous eyes, she locked her fists around my wrists, forced me slowly away from her and took her turn to threaten me. We traded insults at each other like bombs, our living room a battlefield and verbal abuse the weapon of choice. Our words were meant to cut deep and leave scars. No amount of remorse would erase this night.

Her dark, relentless eyes held me at bay for a brief moment and she turned to leave the living room. I followed her through the house, swearing at her as she slammed door after door in my face. When I turned to leave, she followed me, all the while charging me with being pathetic, shallow and arrogant – and as being the one who was keeping secrets.

We were beyond being rational. No ideas were exchanged, no issues were resolved – the conflict only got worse. We generated accusations but arrived at no solutions. I refused to tell her who I was, adamantly repeating that it didn't matter. She denied over and over again having any knowledge about our intruder or about who might be out there waiting for the chance to cause her and our family harm.

The night seemed endless and at some point, Ava's anger bubbled over to sadness. Her shoulders slumped and her eyes welled with tears that flowed over the brim and down her cheeks. Her lip trembled and I saw her profound sorrow. I recognized my own guilt and grief and the stark knowledge that I all needed, all I wanted was her. The rest didn't matter. "Ava..." I went to comfort her and to find comfort for myself.

"Don't touch me," she said quietly and turned towards the stairs. I let her go. I watched her climb the stairs and close herself behind the door to our bedroom. My gut churned and the hate I felt for myself surrounded me with its dark curtain. I sagged onto the sofa and tossed my head back and closed my eyes. When I opened them some time later I saw the iPad I had thrown on the chair earlier, rose from the couch and retrieved it to see what she had been looking at when I came upon her in rage.

I unlocked the screen, and the webpage Ava had been staring at revealed itself. _Today in Entertainment's_ homepage was thick with coverage from the _baio_ show and a great photo of the two of us that had been taken on the red carpet was front and center. Despite the fact that we were angry at each other all evening, we still smiled and our eyes were warm. Our fight hadn't meant we weren't in love. She still looked happy in my arms.

I followed the link to Ava's interview with Olivia Chavez. Margaux had granted Olivia an exclusive talk with Ava. This would be the first time the public had ever even heard the sound of Ava's voice. The first time that Ava would speak publicly about anything. Olivia had been allowed five questions and each question had been subject to my approval. We had spent days going back and forth isolating the most appropriate, generic and _baio_ specific questions -- nothing personal, nothing off topic, and absolutely no Damien Kakos. It was understood that Olivia would follow a strict script, compliment Ava on her dress and ask who the designer was, congratulate Ava on the pregnancy and then lead in to the new children's line, thank Ava for her time and wish her a nice evening.

At first, the interview started the way it was supposed to.

"Olivia Chavez reporting live from the tenth annual _baio_ fashion show! I am thrilled to be talking with the one, the only _baio_ heiress, Ava Alexander. Ava you're stunning! I love this dress."

"Thank you, Olivia." Ava smiled a bright, shining white smile.

"Not only do I love, love, love this dress, but I am really digging your latest accessory." She motioned to the Ava's cute baby belly.

"Tell us, who's the designer?"

"Well, the dress is a _baio_ , of course, and the baby bump is an original Alexander."

I smiled as I watched Ava's perfect grace and polished beauty on screen.

"Speaking of Baby Alexander, you and your husband are expecting the birth of your second child and with this blessing comes the launch of a new children's line. Can you give _TIE_ a comment about what we can expect from _baio babe_?"

Ava rattled off a short, general statement about the line. In truth, she was against the idea of _baio babe_. She didn't want her kids attached to the _baio_ spotlight the way that she had been growing up.

Olivia nodded and her gold chandelier earrings bobbed and danced at her shoulder line. "Your scars have healed, your smile is bright again, Ava, you are a week away from the one year anniversary of your kidnapping by Damien Kakos. You've never spoken of your experiences -- care to shed a little light on the week you were savagely held hostage? Can you give the viewers of _TIE_ a glimpse of the hell you went through?"

"That bitch." I mumbled under my breath and watched with apprehension at the two women on screen.

Ava's eyes narrowed and her forehead crumpled. She tried to hold on to her composure but I could see the crack forming in her façade. Ava's pretty lips faltered and dropped downwards. She looked nervously over her shoulder. She was looking for me. Her glance darted along the corridor like a scared animal.

"Ava? The world wants to know."

Claw her eyes out Ava.

"Um." Ava stuttered and Olivia shoved the microphone closer into her face.

Ava cupped the scarred and tattooed flesh on her left wrist and she rubbed her skin anxiously with her fingers. The brink of an anxiety attack flashed in her eyes and her mind took her back to the dark and scary place that I had promised her she would never have to go to again.

"I, uh, I don't wish to comment on that."

It's okay, Baby. I'm so sorry.

"Give us one comment."

Ava smacked the mic away from her face and rushed away in a near run. I closed out of the web page and tossed the iPad back to the end of the sofa.

That stupid interview that I made her do had driven her from the show without saying anything to me. I couldn't believe I had put her so carelessly in that position and I was numb with the knowledge that I had then come home and wielded my anger like a spear about her head.

I crept up the stairs and pushed open the bedroom door.

She cried into a pillow, tiny whimpers choked out from her chest.

"Ava? I don't know where to begin... I don't know how to fix this. What do I do now? How do I make this right between us?"

She didn't answer me.

"Baby?" Warily, I nudged her shoulder with no response.

" _Oh..._ "

Ava had fallen asleep, and she was having a nightmare -- the one that made her sad.

I stripped down to my boxers and snuck into bed beside her. One hand was tucked away under her pillowcase and the other was spread out protectively over her tummy. She whimpered and her eyelids fluttered as her mind took her somewhere I didn't understand, somewhere that I was clueless about. With extreme caution, I inched closer to her in bed and spread my fingers on her stomach beside her hand. I pressed my lips on her crumpled and messy bed head and whispered "I'm sorry," until the gulls squawked at dawn.

****

My mouth was stale, dry and tasteless. My tongue, a waterless, scratchy piece of sandpaper, licked at my cracked lips and only made the chapping skin worse by pushing salty, old saliva into the broken flesh. The spaces behind my eyes, over my temples, in my jaw – they all throbbed. My muscles were tightly wound coils that begged for a release.

"Ava?" My raspy voice was with thick and cracked harshly. I patted blindly at the limp blankets where she should have been curled up beside me. She was gone and suddenly the horrid images of the evening before filled my mind, the _baio_ show, Cameron Gallo, the lonely ride home in the limo, my out-of-control anger at Ava, her interview, our fight, my abusive language. The words I threw at Ava had been vile and unforgiveable. I hated myself.

Crashing my half-sleeping, tingling hand on the nightstand, I fumbled about recklessly with my fingers until I felt the outline of my glasses. Shoving them onto my face, I stumbled to the bathroom and thrust my dry mouth under the cold running water from the sink faucet. My dirty hair hung limply down my forehead and into my tired eyes.

I heard them below. Awake and talking. Max giggling at something his mom was teasing him about. The house smelled like fresh blueberries, pancakes, bacon, cheesy omelets and strong coffee. My stomached was both ravenous and queasy. I went down the stairs and found Ava and Max perched side by side at the breakfast bar, leaning over a three-dimensional puzzle the three of us had been building together.

I felt awkward when I walked into the kitchen, like a stranger in my own house. Ava didn't glance at me, and I couldn't bring myself to look at her either. Max was so enthralled with his puzzle that he didn't notice my arrival or acknowledge the kiss I planted on top of his head.

Two syrup-smeared plates were pushed to the side of the counter top; there were no leftovers for me to even pick at. Digging out the largest coffee cup we owned, I filled it to the brim. Steam puffed from it like hot smoke rising from a house fire. I would have chugged the caffeine if doing so wouldn't burn the heck out of my esophagus. I stood there in the kitchen and poked at a hardened bagel for a few seconds, unsure of what to do or say. I could tell I was not welcome and the feeling was heavy and depressing.

Giving up on the bagel, I took my coffee, cupped three Tylenol in my palm and snuck the newest bottle of Ava's morning sickness Pepto. I retreated to a chair in the living room that is meant to accommodate two. It sits squarely in front of our giant floor-to-ceiling window and is more of a showpiece than a piece of furniture we actually use. The only other time I had ever sat there was on the night of my last birthday, the same night Ava told me she was pregnant. The two of us sat together in the chair and talked, talking led to kissing, which developed into making out and then into making love there. The memory is dear to me. Our nasty fight and the precarious situation it left us in would mar that memory and tarnish our perfect existence, I knew.

I looked straight ahead at the glass but my gaze was not on the sea. Instead, I watched the reflection of Ava as she moved about in the kitchen. I couldn't take my eyes away from her. Her hair had been tossed up high in a loose bun. A few strands had escaped the elastic hair tie and twirled in slept-in curls down her neckline. She had on a pair of baggy sweats and a tank top that just barely covered her protruding baby bump. She looked tired but grinned along with Max as he played. The grin didn't even come close to touching her eyes. She was sad, her sorrow was entirely my fault and I had absolutely no idea of how I was going to fix us.

At nine thirty, Ava helped Max with his shoes and I realized suddenly that it was Sunday and that we were expected at my parents' house.

Ava and Max left the house without me. In a hurry to catch up, I skidded across the living room and through to the laundry room, tossed on a pair of jeans that had been abandoned in a dirty clothes pile on the floor and paired them with an equally dirty and wrinkled shirt. I scurried out the kitchen door, leaving my shoes behind on the mat. Max had noticed the tension in our house and ran ahead of Ava, up the beach towards my parent's home where he could escape us for a while. I straggled awkwardly behind with my hands shoved in my pockets, not knowing what to do. Ava reached the deck of the house before I did. I suspected I wouldn't see her for the rest of the day. Best bet was that she would retreat to a corner in the kitchen and busy herself with a recipe assigned to her by my mother and, if I were at all lucky, I would score an empty seat on the couch where I would remain until dinner. The thought was depressing and I refused to allow that to happen.

"Ava, wait!" I called, jogging up to her. She pushed through the glass door, sliding it forcefully to the side. "Please, let's talk." I grabbed her hand in mine and laced our fingers, binding her to me as she stormed into the kitchen. Tugging on her arm, I attempted to coax her gently into turning around. I hugged her palm, silently telling her I loved her. Huge mistake.

She whipped around to face me. Her eyes were dark and angry. She yanked her hand out of mine and I wrapped my arm around her waist to pull her to me. My eyes pleaded with her to forgive me.

She snapped at me through gritted teeth. "Get your hand off me _now_!"

It was harsh. I deserved it. She was right to be angry with me but it didn't stop her backlash from piercing my already wounded heart and bruising my severely deflated ego.

"Ava... Baby..."

"Don't " _Baby"_ me, Ari. I really don't care if I ever talk to you again!"

She didn't mean it. I knew she didn't mean it, and so did she.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" My mom shook her hands frantically in the air. "You two," she snapped her fingers in my face and then started shouting out commands, "on the sun porch, now! Andy, get in here! We need to talk with our son and our daughter-in-law right away. What has gotten into everybody today? First Rory and now you two! Lauren?!" Lauren poked her head around the corner. "You're on Max duty."

"Okay!"

Aggie wrapped an arm around Ava's waist, led her to the sun porch, and then sat her on a cushioned wicker loveseat. She pointed at the open space next to Ava, silently demanding that I sit.

"What's going on?" Andy poked his head into the doorway.

"That is exactly what we are going to find out. Sit." My dad took orders from my mom like a pro and promptly sat in a chair beside her, across from Ava and me.

She regarded the two of us for a moment, our arms were crossed over our chests, Ava's leg was crossed over her knee and faced away from me. Her lips were pinched like the end of a tied balloon and she picked incessantly at the nail polish on her pinkie finger. There was enough space on the two-person loveseat to squeeze even Rory in between us.

Ava adjusted her hip, drawing her body in even tighter and in doing so, she caused the furniture to squeak. The noise triggered a memory of Ava and me on the same soft, cushion on my mother's sun porch back when we were dating. The memory was another good one, another one I was now afraid of losing.

"Who wants to start?" My mom's shrewish voice ripped my thoughts away from the taste of Ava's mouth and the way she does this thing with her tongue, kind of circling it around mine as a sort of tease.

The temperature in the big, open room seemed to have risen several degrees since we sat down, and it kept getting hotter. I gathered a teaspoon-sized amount of saliva, hoping to moisten my desert-dry mouth. Neither Ava or I said a word. She just chipped away until the polish was totally gone and all that was left was a clean, white, crescent tipped fingernail. She moved on to the next finger.

"Fine. I'll start." My mother sat tall in her chair and frowned deeply at the display of childish behavior displayed before her. "Whatever this little spat may be about, I can tell you both right now, it's not worth it. You are both smart people who love, respect, and cherish one another. I think a little introspection will do you both some..."

"Are we too young to be married? Was this a mistake?" Ava blurted.

In that small moment, my heart stopped, my eyes watered and I had my first taste of heartbreak. Her words cut me deeper than any insult the two of us had lobbed at one another in the past two days. She doubted us. But she was wrong. She was so wrong. I know in my bones that she and I are right for each other. More than just right, perfect. Ava owns my heart, she has it, I willingly handed the bloody, beating, fist-sized muscle, arteries and all, over to her on a silver platter the very second I locked eyes with her. She is my only and we are meant for forever, for an eternity. We are good together, we are better than good, we are our very best selves when we are together.

"Ava." Her sweet name sputtered off my lips and weaved through the web of my fingers that blocked my shocked mouth. "Ava. No, don't say that." The tears rolled and my throat tightened around my words until I choked on a sob.

"Juliet was thirteen when she found her Romeo," my mother said after struggling to maintain her own composure.

"Yes. And looked what happened to them," Ava said.

"No." Andy said. "The simple answer to your question, Ava, is no. You _are_ young, but you and Ari are different. You have an old love. Your love has never been selfish or unkind. You two look at each other the way very few loved ones do. You look at each other in awe, in respect and in admiration... but most importantly, you look at each other as necessary for life. Your marriage is not a mistake, Ava. You two are a symbol of who we are."

He was right. I would want to die without her. We aren't pathetic, dependent, can't-live-without-you, lustful teenagers. Ava and I are united in some deep-rooted, unexplainable forceful connection. Our isn't a _want_ , it's a _requirement_. Like air, water and food.

"We want to help. Marriage is stressful. Your mother and I can attest to that. We've been together, living together and sharing a bed, a dinner table, finances -- you name it and we've shared it -- since we were sixteen."

He squeezed my mom's knee and she smiled sweetly and said, "We know how you feel, Ava. We know it's hard. Ari has a demanding job, Max is a child that needs a special kind of attention and love. Your family is growing fast considering you haven't even seen your first anniversary. The first year is always the hardest. But you handle it all so well. I have always been so proud of you two. Why do you feel this way all of the sudden? What's been happening next door that we don't know about?"

Neither of us spoke.

"Ari, tell us now," said my father. My parents were beginning to show some impatience. I gathered my breath to answer him.

Instead, Ava spoke. She turned to face me, only me. She looked me in the eyes, her green eyes burning into my gaze. Her chest rose with a full breath and her rosebud lips parted. "Who _are_ you?"

I stared back. My stomach somersaulted. Sweat pricked at my open palms. Nervous, my vision blurred and one Ava turned into two Avas. My emotions jumped fast and furiously from major anger to fear to guilt mixed with insecurity and then doubt.

"I'm, uh..." I stuttered.

" _You haven't told her?_ " My mother demanded, looking at me with shame in her eyes.

"No. At least not entirely. I mean, not yet..."

The skin around my father's jaw was white as he clenched his molars and crowfeet lines forked away from his narrow stare. He was furious with me.

"You'll tell her. Take her home now. Do it."

"I'll do it here. She'll have questions. Mom can answer some of her questions... " A shameful coward, I could not meet anyone's eyes.

"Home. Take her home." He stood and towered over me.

### Chapter 22

### Adonis

The walk home in the sand was excruciatingly uncomfortable. Neither of us knew what to say to each other or how to act. Ava pushed ahead of me, deciding that a walk alone was far better than a walk beside me. The strain between us was thick and palpable. It was difficult for me to take in the smallest of breaths. In ten seconds, I would bare myself to her and she would question us, our marriage, and our love.

In the house, she turned to me. Waiting for me speak.

The weight that bore down on my chest was stifling. Blood flew through my veins and whooshed loudly in my ears.

"Okay." A heavy breath pushed from my lungs and blew out of my tense lips. We stood on either side of the kitchen island. The hard marble counter was a visible manifestation of the invisible, icy wall that had formed between us. "Okay."

I prepared myself for what was to come. Twisting, lurching knots churned in my queasy, hungry stomach. The caffeine buzzed around my nerves, adding more unnecessary jitters. A quick and heavy surge of adrenaline made me dizzy.

"Hear me out, okay?"

She didn't say a thing.

"I am Ari. Uh, descendant of Adonis." I had done this so few times in my life, that I was not sure if I could remember it all.

I caught a quick blink from Ava and then she composed herself with narrow, disbelieving eyes. She was right to doubt me, right to think I would once again just brush her off and give her no more information than she already had.

"Uh..." My hand rubbed uncomfortably at my unshaven cheek and I adjusted my weight from foot to foot. "Adonis is the god of beauty, desire and fertility. He is renewable – a life, death and rebirth deity. He belongs to women. Two women to be more precise." I looked at her and her face gave nothing away. She didn't say anything, so I mustered up the nerve to continue.

"Aphrodite fell in love with him. She found Adonis as a baby after his mother, Myrrha gave birth to him. Myrrha had deceived her own father and he punished her by turning her into a myrrh tree, leaving Adonis orphaned. Aphrodite became his surrogate mother and she became his lover. She cared deeply for him and took him to Hades in the Underworld to keep him safe. There he was entrusted to Persephone. Persephone is known as the maiden and as the mistress woman. She is the queen of the Underworld. Under Persephone's eye, Adonis grew into a beautiful man. When Aphrodite returned for him, Persephone had already fallen in love and she was unwilling to return Adonis to the goddess.

"The two goddesses, Aphrodite and Persephone, began to argue over him. Their fight became so vicious that Zeus was forced to intercede. He commanded that Adonis spend one third of his year with Aphrodite, one third of his year with Persephone and the last of his year with whomever he desired. During his time on earth with Aphrodite, Persephone, crazy with jealously, tricked Adonis. On his hunting trip, she teamed with others who sought revenge on Aphrodite and sent a giant boar to attack Adonis. He died of blood loss and in death returned to the Underworld, where he would be reunited with Persephone. Aphrodite found Adonis as he lay dying and she rushed to the Underworld to retrieve him. Persephone was ready for her and once again, the two women fought. Zeus intervened the second time and finally split Adonis' time equally between the women. He would forever be promised to the two goddesses."

I looked up at Ava and she stared coldly back at me.

"As time went on, the ruling from Zeus evolved, until, rather than sharing his time with the goddesses year by year, the descendants of Adonis would share lifetimes with Persephone and Aphrodite.

The corners of Ava's eyes scrunched as she tried to understand what I meant.

"Uh..." I thought of a way to make things easier for her. "It used to be that Adonis would spend his lifetime with Aphrodite and then the next descendant of Adonis would be indebted to spend his lifetime with Persephone and so on, back and forth..."

"Your father is spending his life with your mother, who is descended from Aphrodite..." Ava finally said something. "So... _you_ are promised to another woman. Ari, you are promised to Persephone."

"Yes."

A puff of air brushed passed Ava's lips, her shoulders slouched, her eyes turned glassy and wet. "How could you?"

"I mean, no!" I nearly shouted. " _No_. Well, I mean yes, but... there _is_ no Persephone. At least not anymore. The bloodline is gone. She can't come to claim me if she doesn't exist."

"What if you're wrong?"

"I'm not. There hasn't been a descendant of Persephone in a hundred years... maybe longer. I am free."

"What if you're wrong?"

"I'm not."

"Ari, what if you are? What if, tomorrow, our doorbell rings and she is here for you, your Persephone? What will you do?"

"I will do nothing. I will tell her that I am sorry that I do not love her and that I never will. I will tell her I love my wife and nothing anyone does can change the way I feel."

"It doesn't work like that, Ari! You've told me yourself that I cannot ignore my duties as a Fate and just run away from who I am! You can't say you don't feel like being a descendant. You don't get to decide that!"

"Sure I can."

"Really!" Ava's fists clenched into angry balls. "Do you think I want to be like this?" She yelled at me. "Do you think that when I fall asleep at night, I can just tell those people in my dreams, the ones who scream at me, the ones in pain and dying, that I am sorry but I don't want to be a Fate? Do you think that when the Kakos came for me, time and time and time again, that I could just stop them by telling them that I had decided to just be a regular person? Huh?" She yelled. "It doesn't work that way, Ari!" Ava shoved her scarred and tattooed wrist into my face. "I didn't get a choice. Max doesn't have a choice. This baby does not get a choice and neither do you! You are not above this, you are indebted to your role just as the rest of us are. You don't get to hide. You don't get to decide. Now, what if she comes for you? You started a life with me, with our son, with the baby we are having and now you tell me that you are promised to another woman. How could you?"

"It's not like that. There is no Persephone. Who I am does not matter anymore."

"How can you know for sure?"

"She's just gone. She has disappeared, as so many of the others have. Our kind? Fewer and fewer of us have enough of the bloodline in us to make us true descendants. If, by some strange happenstance there is someone out there who has enough of Persephone's bloodline in her to _be_ the goddess, chances are slim to none that that person would even know _who_ they are... it is essentially impossible. Look at you. You are above us all, yet you had no clue you were a Fate until you met me. If Persephone is out there, someone would have to find her, tell her who she is and then she would have to want me... she would have to claim me. It just... is not going to happen, Ava. It cannot. There is no Persephone."

"And then what happens when she claims you?" She pressed, refusing to take no for an answer.

"Ava, I love you. No one is going to show up looking for me, but if Persephone does, she cannot have me. I am taken. You have claimed me. No one can make me leave you and our family."

"It doesn't work that way, Ari." Ava's face fell with sadness and frustration. She started to cry and I rushed to her side, my hand cupped her face.

"Yes, it does. I promise, Ava. I promise. I promise you that I love you. Only you. Always. There is nothing in the world that can change my mind. There is nothing in the universe that can make me stop loving you. I promise."

"But..."

"Ava, I promise." I held her face to keep her from looking away from me. I stared in to her eyes. "I promise. I love you. It will always be you. Only you."

My mouth pushed into hers and she kissed me back. She ran her fingers through my knotted, dirty hair, raking the fallen strands out of my eyes. The feeling of having Ava in my arms was electric. I had been craving her touch, her taste and her smell.

"I should have told you, but I didn't want you to worry. You know how that feels and I was wrong to question your loyalty. I don't want you to dwell on something that will never happen," I said in her ear and then pulled back to look at her. "I promise, who I am does not matter."

Ava chewed at her bottom lip and gave a small nod. "You are mine."

"I'm all yours."

### Chapter 23

### Clean

I was ravenous. My stomach growled and Ava flashed a cocky smile. She reached across me and pushed the start button on the microwave. It hummed and the internal light showed a plate spinning around inside topped with blueberry pancakes, a pile of bacon and cheesy omelets stuffed with fresh mushrooms and peppers.

"Holy hell, you rock." My stomach growled again and Ava popped the plate out, setting it on the breakfast bar in front of a stool. I dug into the omelet and bacon while she heated some syrup.

"So." Ava set a warm bottle of syrup down on the counter. I snatched it up and poured half the contents onto my plate. "Your mother... " her fingertips tapped the hard counter.

After shoving a forkful of pancakes into my already full mouth, I smiled at her. I knew that at some point we would get to all of Ava's questions, even the ridiculous ones.

"... is just my mom. We have no connection other than that. My father, the other Adonis, is satisfying his role with Aphrodite."

"I thought they met by accident. Your mom said they were crazy in love with each other."

"They did meet by accident, and they were and they still are very much in love."

"But he is bound to her."

"He is bound to her, yes. But it is not a bad thing. Their roles worked very well in their situation. They were meant to be together but they also wanted to be together."

"What if they didn't want to be together?"

"The universe would keep bringing them back to each other. No matter how far away from one another they could get, the universe would just bring them right back together again. Eventually, they wouldn't be able to escape their fate. But like I said, they love each other so it doesn't matter."

"How do you know there is no Persephone? I mean really?"

"There have been... oh, I don't know, five Adonis descendants before me who haven't had a Persephone. The fact that there is still an Adonis and an Aphrodite is a miracle. My own mother just sort of happened by pure accident. There hadn't been a true Aphrodite for decades. Our people are not as strong as we once were. Our numbers dwindle with each generation. Persephone, she is just... she's gone."

"How did Aphrodite just come back? If there hadn't been a true descendant for decades then how did Aggie just happen to be Aphrodite?"

"A spark," I said and shrugged – and I saw the worry in Ava's eyes. I could feel her doubt. "Her mother, Eleni, and her mother's mother, they all carried the blood but none were strong enough to fulfill the role until Eleni paired with Aristotle. Together, they were powerful enough to bring back Aphrodite. Their blood was so powerful that when Eleni and Aristole created life, the effects killed Eleni. She wasn't strong enough to carry my mother to full term and died when she went into labor early."

"Ari, I just... a spark? If it happened to your mom, it can happen again. It can happen with Persephone, too."

"Come here." I tugged on Ava's hand and she came willingly to my side. "Baby, I promise. Okay?"

"K," she said and gave a tiny nod.

"Do you forgive me?"

"Yes, but, why were you so worried to tell me, if you don't think Persephone matters? Why not just tell me before? You could have saved us all this heartache... this fight."

"I couldn't stand the thought of you doubting my love."

"I don't. I know your love for me is greater than anything."

"It is. I would do anything for you, Ava."

She kissed away the smudge of syrup on the corner of my mouth.

My eyes narrowed and I placed the pad of my fingertip on the delicate skin just under her eye. "What's this?" A few black speckles collected on my finger.

"Ugh!" She sighed. "I was so mad last night and so exhausted that I didn't wash my face. That's left over mascara and eyeliner. Hot, huh? I feel so scuzzy."

"Mmm." I murmured, "I know how you feel, I am nursing a wicked hangover, mixed with a heavy heart and greasy hair." My eyes sparkled as a thought came to mind, "Take a bath with me?"

Ava's nose scrunched like a bunny, "a bath?" She said the word as if it were from a strange, dead language.

"Yeah, you know hot, soapy water in a big tub. That thing you put Max in every night. Haven't you ever taken a bath?"

"I dunno... I'm sure I did as a small child maybe... I'm a shower kind of girl."

"You have seriously been missing out on something great. There is something to be said about a long, hot bath. It will make you feel like you again. Maybe a long soak can help wash away everything that happened last night."

"Oh, you don't know the half of it, Ari... that interview..."

"I saw it." I cringed. "Ava, I am so sorry. I can't believe I made you go through with that."

"That woman is awful."

"Let's wash it all away."

She looked up at me from under her lashes and I gave her a hopeful, pleading glance.

"K."

We walked hand in hand to the guest bath. I plugged the porcelain tub and ran the hot water. In the cabinet, tucked behind a bucket of Max's bath toys, was a gift basket that had remained unopened since our wedding. A package of scented candles and luxurious bath accessories was wrapped in clear cellophane. I pulled the bow that kept the package cinched and then added relaxing salts and foamy bubbles to the water. The room filled with the scent of eucalyptus and spearmint. Dimming the overhead lights, I lit the candles and set them to the side of the tub just out of reach from the rising water.

On my knees, on the hard tile floor in front of Ava, I hooked my thumbs into the waistband of her sweats and panties and my fingers grazed her skin as I shimmied her clothes down her legs to her bare ankles.

"Step." I looked up at her and she lifted her feet, one at a time, allowing me to undress her. I pushed up from my knees, gripped the hem of her tank top, and pulled her shirt over her head, revealing smooth, creamy skin and a perfectly curvy body.

"You really are beautiful."

She smiled.

"So... are you just going to stand there or are you going to undress me?"

"Oh! Um, okay." Ava unbuttoned my jeans and tugged at them and my boxers, yanking them down to my feet. "Step." She ordered and I obeyed her command. She then grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it up to my chest. "Lift your arms." I held up my arms and she pulled the shirt to my elbows. "Uh, bend down and walk backwards."

"Like this?" I followed her directions and she held on to the edge of my shirt pulling it over my head as I moved away.

Stepping into the hot bath, I held my hand out for Ava to join me. She came in with a bit of hesitance and then we sank together and soaked in the clean, fresh water. With a cloth, I patted Ava's face to dampen her skin and then rubbed small circles of face wash into her cheeks and rinsed her clean. I kissed her eyelids, her nose, and mouth and a smile played on her face. The little freckle above her lip is irresistible to me, my tongue ran over the newly clean space and I kissed and sucked at her skin. Her cheeks flushed a light shade of pink.

With the wet cloth, I moved down to her neck and then to her full chest, leaving a trail of bubbles in my wake. Every newly cleaned part of her body and was covered with my kisses. Propping her feet on the side of the tub, sodden bubbles dropped and splashed onto the white marble tiles. I moved the soapy washcloth to the bottoms of her feet and then licked the clean freckle at the top of one of her small toes. Sliding the toe into my mouth, I sucked and kissed her. Her body squirmed with the intense pleasure and more water splashed from the tub. Ava's cheeks flashed a darker shade of pink.

I ran the cloth up her tan, summer legs, one at time from the tops of her ankles to the inner space of her warm thighs.

"As much as I would love to pay a long visit to freckle number three, I am afraid I would drown."

And finally, her cheeks flashed the red color I had been hoping to see.

"That would undoubtedly be the best way to die," I said and I leaned into her, pressing my lips to her hot blushing cheeks. My fingers maneuvered through her messy, slept-in hair and I removed the elastic hair tie that kept her waves piled high on top of her head. Tendrils fell with grace, hitting her shoulders, bouncing around her breasts and curving down her spine until the dark locks floated on the surface of the water.

"Lean back." She did and I soaked her hair and then washed and rinsed it, kneading my fingers from the roots to the tips until she was water-logged and flawlessly clean.

I wrapped Ava's legs around my waist and pulled her in close to face me. Her baby bump kept her too far away from me. I need her close more now than ever before. "Better?"

"Mmm. I feel brand new." Ava ran her fingers on each side on my head through my tangled, limp hair. "Can I wash your hair?" She bit at her lip and I bobbed my head up and down eagerly, causing her to laugh cutely.

She washed my hair with skilled fingers, massaging my head with bubbly shampoo, and then rinsed me clean again.

"Who cuts your hair?" Her hands still kneaded circles into my scalp. The feeling was so nice that my eyes shut and my tense body relaxed. My lips pulled upwards at her silly question.

"Kip DeMarco on Del Prado Avenue."

"So it's a guy?"

"Yes, Ava it's a guy."

"Just wondering," she shrugged. "How often do you get it cut?"

"I have the sides trimmed ever four weeks and allover every eight."

"You've always worn it this way?"

"Uh, yeah, pretty much. Why? Do you want me have it cut differently?"

"No!" She squeaked. "I love your hair. It's sexy."

"Good, because I tried to cut it shorter one time and I have so many cowlicks, I ended up looking kind of like Rory for a couple of months. It was horrible."

Ava giggled the kind of giggle that makes my heart leap from my chest.

"How long have you been going to Kip DeMarco on Del Prado Avenue?"

"Twenty years. Why?"

"I just think it's... cute. I like to learn little things like that about you. Besides, I'm your wife. I should know who cuts your hair."

"It's cute, huh?" I reached past her to pull the stopper from the drain.

"Very."

"Well, aren't you just learning all kinds of things about me today? Tell me something that I don't know about you." I stood from the tub, grabbed a few towels and then reached my hand down to help Ava stand. Wrapping a thick terrycloth towel around her body and then mine, I tossed another onto the flooded bathroom floor and helped her step out of the bath.

"I can't tell you anything you don't already know."

"That is just simply untrue."

Ava pushed up on her tippy toes and pressed a kiss to my lips. "I love you."

"I already knew that." I said without removing my lips from her sweet tasting mouth.

She kissed me again, this time slipping her tongue between my lips. Drops of lukewarm water fell from the tips of our hair and ran down our clean bodies. I tugged at her hands inching us out of the bathroom, down the hall and into our room, my lips never breaking away from hers. I made love with her in the bed. It was pretty, the kind of moment I would remember forever.

****

"You know..." I said. We were tangled tightly together, our limbs crossing over and wrapping around one another. She had a great, glowing smile on her face. I brushed a half-dry lock of hair from her eyes and then traced my finger down the curves of her body. "Plato told a story in his Symposium where the first humans were originally created as both a man and a woman complete with four arms, four legs and two faces."

Ava's nose scrunched at the ridiculous idea.

"These humans were very strong and smart and Zeus felt threatened by them. Scared of their power, he devised a plan and split them in two, therefore weakening them and reducing their strength. Humans were angry with him for ripping them in two and they threatened to stop worshiping the god. So Zeus decided to give each half a gender, some male and others female so they could have sex with their counterparts and in doing so, they could feel whole again. These humans, when split apart were left empty and they spent the rest of their lives searching for their twin soul..."

"Soul mate."

"Exactly. You make me whole."

"You make _me_ whole," she nodded and brushed the tip her nose against mine. "Zeus was an egotistical, pompous, self-righteous, womanizing, jerk."

"Don't tell him you said that."

Ava's eyes flashed bright. "Is there still a Zeus?"

"Yes. But he's no one you or I know."

### Chapter 24

### Gone

My lips pressed a series of kisses on the top of Ava's sleeping head. We had spent our afternoon reconnecting and talking through what felt like a world of issues. Ava talked openly with me about her newest anxiety. The trigger for her most recent panic attacks, she said, was hearing the family talk of the baby and the fears she had of creating life. I understood her completely, having felt the exact same worry myself.

Her nightmare, the one that made her sad, she could not fully explain.

"It's just a feeling, a sadness that fills all the little spaces of my mind. The darkness is complete and blocks my vision so that I can focus only on the nucleus of sadness at the center. There is nothing there for me but tears and the dream keeps coming back." Ava spent hours talking with Dr. Phillips about the sadness that visited her at night. She expressed her anxiety about becoming the mother of a new baby and her concern Max might be thrown off base by the presence of another child, and a helpless infant at that, into our home. She told him she thought balancing the care of two children with the demands of our somewhat unusual marriage, while still dealing with the post-traumatic stress from her kidnapping only a year prior, might be a more difficult task than she could handle. Her doctor is concerned about her feelings of sadness and plans to keep a close eye on her emotions through the rest of her pregnancy and after the baby comes. I asked her if she worried about post-partum depression. "The sadness is only in the dream," she assured me. "I am happy in the waking seconds of my life."

"I want you tell me how you feel _every_ day. You don't need to try to battle anything alone."

"I will."

We talked more and made love again. I made her giggle and my now-lighter heart doubled over with happiness. Ava began to forgive me for keeping my secret. She understood the fear I had of telling her who I am. Ava was still upset, though, with the idea of Persephone. She hated the possibility someone might be able to lay claim to me.

"There will always be a _what if_ in the back of my mind, Ari," she said and her eyes were tired, worried. " _What if_ she comes... _what if_ there's a 'spark' and Persephone is reborn? _What if_ her claim is upheld by the nature of the descendency of the Greek deities?

And my fear? My fear was that the power and danger of Ava's doubt might prevail. I tried to convince her again...

"It's not like that. I won't bind myself to promises made for me in my name by someone else. That rule does not govern me and it never will, Ava. My life is bound to you. You are where I have made my promises."

We fell asleep in the late afternoon with the warm sun cascading down on us from the bedroom window. It was our first random nap since Max had been welcomed with loving arms into our home nearly nine months before.

My nightmare spread across my dream world moments after we drifted off. Images of waves crashing far below, of rocks tumbling without restraint and of a sky lowering with malice brought me my feeling of terror and sorrow. And again, Julia was there. I could feel her. I felt a bubble of anger burst in my head at the thought of her.

Dimly I heard our backdoor open, followed by three quick bleeps from the alarm system. The words "Oh crap!" floated up the stairway and fast footsteps rushed to the side hall. The number pad chirped with each digit pressed and the alarm gave one final sound, a deeper beep telling me the alarm had been disengaged.

Leaving one final kiss on the top of Ava's clean hair, I eased out from under her. Slipping on jeans, I closed the bedroom door tightly behind me and walked to the top floor banister.

Rory looked up at me from the living room. "I'm sorry."

"Nah, you're ok." I eyed him. Something was terribly wrong.

"Ah, God." He looked down at his sand-covered flip-flops with an embarrassed grimace, yanked them off and then stood barefoot and awkward in a pile of grainy sand on our floor. "Christ, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here. Your Ma said I shouldn't come... She was right. I'm an idiot."

"Dude, it's fine. Take a breath." I walked down the stairs toward him. "Ava's asleep... I was just sitting there anyway..."

"Yeah?"

"I swear. Come on in. You want a drink or something?" He followed me to the kitchen and eased on a stool.

"Nah."

Rory's eyes were tight, his face looked pinched. His eyes avoided mine and I saw him fight the tremble of his bottom lip. He popped his knuckles to distract himself from the shaking in his fingers.

"She's gone... Jules. She, um, she finally realized I'm a freakin' idiot and left me."

"What do you mean she left you? What did she say?"

He sat quiet, his face twisted harder. Rory shoved his palms into his eyes and rubbed hard. "She didn't say anything. She just left, sometime last night. She packed up her clothes, she took her stuff and she left."

Rory dug in his pocket and removed a folded and already tattered note. He tossed it onto the countertop in front of me. From the looks of the worn creases, he had opened and refolded this small sheet hundreds of times in the few hours that he had had it.

" _Roar, I love you, but I can't keep doing this anymore. Please don't call. I won't answer."_ I read her nervous scribbles to myself. And noted a watermark in the ink from where one of them – Julia or Rory -- had dropped a tear.

"I don't know what to say, Rory. "I'm sorry" doesn't feel right in this situation. It's not strong enough..."

"Has she called you yet? Has she been here?" He was bitter. Rory knows, just like the rest of us, that I am the first person that Julia runs to for help.

"Uh, no." I raked a hand through my hair. "I mean, if she came by the house, we didn't hear her. I haven't checked my cell all day. Let me grab it and I'll look."

He nodded and watched me as I walked away, back up the steps and into our room. Ava had burrowed down under the blankets. She was one snuggled blob with a big belly. My phone was on the nightstand, turned to silent and hooked to a charger. I didn't want to look. I couldn't decide what would be worse, Julia calling me or Julia not calling me. If she had called, I would have to tell Rory and he would be upset with me, heartbroken that Julia had run to me. If she had not called, _I_ would be worried.

"Nothing."

I slid my phone across the countertop to him and he investigated my call log and texts. His shoulders fell, either in disappointment or in relief, maybe both.

"I couldn't decide what I wanted to see on your phone. If she had called you, I'd be pissed, but at the same time, at least I would know she was okay. You know?"

"Yeah, I know..."

"She'll call you. You know she will, Ari."

He was right. She would call me.

Uncomfortable, I was in need of Ava's skill of having just the right thing to say. I needed her to swoop in and tell Rory whatever it is he needed to hear. I glanced through the house, up the steps to where I could just see the edge of our bedroom doorway.

"I'm sorry. I'll go."

"No, don't go, Rory. I mean... do whatever you want, but seriously, I want you to stay. You aren't bothering us. You never bother us. I kept Ava up all night; she'll be asleep until dawn."

" _Pfft_." He sneered.

"What I meant was that we have been fighting... a lot. Last night was bad."

"Yeah?"

"It's been a rough couple of days... a bad week. I feel as though I haven't even spoken to Ava, like had real conversation with her, in ages. I miss her."

"At least you still have her."

"What are you going to do, Rory?"

"What can I do? I can't hit her over the head with a club and drag her back to my cave, although the thought is tempting. I don't even know where the hell she is. I don't even know who she's friends with anymore. She doesn't talk to people from our old school. She doesn't hang out with anyone at UCLA, she doesn't really work besides helping Andy with the center. As far as I know, her friends are Ava, Lauren, August and Collin...and you."

"She helps my dad at _House to Home_?" This was news to me.

"She's been helping him – at least that's what she said. She sorts his mail and takes some of his calls – nothing serious."

"Huh. Did August or Collin see her leave last night? Did she talk to either of them?"

"No. They didn't come home after the show. Collin said they crashed at Rachel and Nigel's place in L.A. Julia and I rode home together in the limo alone and I could tell that something was up, you know? Something was bothering her all night but she still had a good time with me, I thought. We made love," he rubbed at the back of his neck. "I fell asleep and then in the morning she was gone. I thought, oh, here she goes again – just up and disappearing for a few hours... but then I found the note." He let me see his tears.

"Have you tried calling her?"

He nodded sadly up and down.

"Has Julia ever mentioned Cameron Gallo before?"

"Cameron Gallo?" he snorted. "You mean that dude in the tabloids your sister's been crushing on?"

"Uh, yeah, him. Julia has never said anything to you before about him?"

"No, should she have?"

"I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. I met him last night. He was weird but he made it sound like he knew her maybe. He knew _who_ I was...you know?"

"Oh God." He put his head in his hand. "Call her...please...call her now and talk to her. I have to know she's okay. I know she'll answer for you."

"Right." Unlocking my phone, I tapped Julia's name, the line rang twice and then I was forwarded to her voicemail. "Hi, this is Julia. I'll call you back later. Bye!" Her voice sounded so happy.

"Uh, Julie...um...hey. It's me. Call me back just so I know you're okay...alright?" I hung up and Rory stared at me with glassy eyes. If Ava were awake, she would know what to say.

"Hey, Are."

I turned around at the sound of the door and my sister's voice.

"Hey, Roar." She gave him a sad smile. "Ari, special delivery, I am bringing home your little monster. He got distracted by that cat on your porch."

"Dangit, I need to buy cat food _,"_ I mumbled.

"Gotcha covered!" Lauren held up a couple of cans of meaty kitten food with a yellow tabby on the label.

"Where did you get that?"

"Mom. She bought it for you this morning and forgot to send it home when you two left. She said you can thank her later."

"Mmmm. I'm sure she did. How was Max today?"

"Quiet."

"Quiet how?"

"Just quiet. He hasn't said too much. He asked for Ava a couple of times. He ate all his supper..."

"That's something."

"Yeah, well, hey, I'm going."

"Where you goin'?" Rory grunted.

"I'm going to take a walk up the beach. Do you want to come with me?"

Rory pushed off his stool without answering her. "See ya, Ari."

"See ya. Hey!" I hollered at both of them before they could close the door. "I am going to change the code to our alarm so no more just walking in...at least for a while. Call before you come, or maybe knock and I'll need everyone's spare key to our house."

"Why?" Lauren asked with a snotty attitude.

"Whoever broke into the house, they knew our code, so I have to change it."

"Well, just give us the new one."

"I can't, Rory."

"You don't trust me?"

"That's not it, I just don't want any doubt. I can't take any chances – not with Ava and Max in the house alone..."

"Whatever. I knew I shouldn't have come here." He tossed his spare key at me. "Just... Ari, when she calls you, tell her I really love her. Tell her to come home. She'll listen to you."

"I will."

### Chapter 25

### Hunted

"Morning!"

I cracked open one blurry eye with a moan to find Ava perky and smiling brightly down at me. The very early morning sunshine filtered in behind her through our bedroom window making her look even more like the goddess she is. Her soft waves of dark hair cascaded downward and tickled my bare chest. "You had better wake up, Ari. Your alarm didn't go off this morning. You're late for work." She gave me a shake with her hips.

"Mmmm. You're up early." My voice was throaty and thick. I blinked my eyes a few times in an attempt to focus my hazy vision. Ava slipped my glasses onto my face with a pretty smile. "Ah, that's better. No work today, Baby. I took the day off."

"Oh!" She smiled again. "Why?" And then she frowned with a confused crinkle in her nose and brow.

"We had a bad weekend, I worked a lot and we fought. I miss you. I really miss you and Max."

"We miss you, too."

I palmed both sides of her belly. "I thought we could take the day and hang out and get all of the things we're going to need for this baby. Cal will be here before you know it and we've hardly started getting ready for him."

"He's just a tiny baby. What more do we need? I mean, all he'll do is sleep and eat and poop. Right?"

"You. Are. So. Cute." I poked the end of her nose. "Have you read the pregnancy books I bought you yet? And the baby books?"

"Some of them...have _you_ read them?"

"Yes, I have. All of them."

"Oh." She had been expecting a different answer.

"We have a lot to do. And since you refused to allow my mother to throw you a baby shower, we have to do it all on our own."

"Okay then, sounds like we have a busy day ahead of us." Ava moved her knee to climb off my lap.

"Whoa, whoa. Not so fast." I eased Ava back down onto my lap. "We still have a little time." I said and adjusted my hips below her. "We can still fool around..."

Ava bent down and placed a small kiss on to my lips. "Max is awake."

"How do you know?"

She didn't need to answer me, the sound of Max opening his bedroom door carried through the monitor, he tore through the hallway with lightning speed and Ava crawled off my lap just in time for him to come crashing through our bedroom doorway.

"Hiya, Max!"

"Hey, Buddy."

He flopped down into our blankets with a poof and a giggle.

"I'll throw him in the tub, Ava, and you get ready to go. We'll meet you downstairs in a half hour."

"K!" Ava kissed Max's forehead and then disappeared into the closet.

I wrestled Max in and then out of the tub, dressed him and myself and then sat down for breakfast all while Ava deliberated in the closet. She appeared in the kitchen twenty-five minutes later with a long pony tail pulled through her baseball hat, jeans and a band tee-shirt that just covered her belly button. She looked cute and I planted a kiss on her glossy lips.

"You ready?" She asked, holding a to-go cup of coffee in one hand.

"You need to eat first."

Ava shook a granola bar and banana in the air at me with the other hand. "I'll eat in the car."

"Sit and eat, Ava. I have to feed that cat anyway."

Fluff stood at the glass door and looked in at us with a meow. He was cute and had almost grown on me. If it weren't for constant sneezing and raw eyes, I would have been almost receptive to having an animal in the house, especially since the kitten made Max so happy. Popping the top off a tin can, I slid through the backdoor, plopped the food in his dish and refilled the water bowl. He rubbed against my leg with a thank you nudge and I shooed him off softly with my foot. Removing the spare key from under the cactus pot, I shoved it in my pocket and then locked the doors behind me.

"Ava, I changed the alarm code last night. You need to make sure the alarm is set all the time, even when you are home. Ok?"

"Ok." Ava nodded.

"I know it sucks."

"It really does."

I had grown up with an open-door policy. Everyone was free to come and go. People popped into our house all the time to say hello or sit for a morning cup of coffee or sip a glass of wine in the evening. Our pool always seemed to have someone lounging by it and our kitchen welcomed everyone. Ava and I had adopted that easy routine as our own way of living. Dinner was rarely just the three of us; Rory and August especially were near-constant dinner guests. We loved the drop-in way of life. Now our doors are always locked and the alarm is always set, even in the afternoon. Going out and coming in had become an inconvenient hassle.

"No more spare keys, so don't get locked out of the house. The code is 0804. Don't tell anyone."

"0804. Our anniversary. I can remember that."

"Good. Our secret?"

"Our secret."

I set the alarm and made a quick glance down at my cell phone before we drove away from the house – no call from Julia. On the ride into town, I broke the news of Julia leaving Rory to Ava. She was upset. She was also worried.

****

We stared up at a massive wall shelved with an enormous selection of baby bottles. Max's tired feet had given up on him three stores prior and he was hitching a ride on my hip.

"How do I know which kind of bottle to get? There are just so many!"

"Have you given any thought to how you're going to feed the baby?"

"What do you mean?" Her face pinched.

"Are you going to breastfeed or use a bottle, do you just want to use baby formula..."

"Errrr..."

"I kind of thought you would breastfeed. I would like you to, but only if you are comfortable with it. Breastfeeding is a good way to bond. I know that puts a lot of the work on to you, but I can still help. I'll still get up with you in the night."

"Ok, yeah, I want to."

"Good. Do you know how long you plan to breastfeed? A couple of weeks or months, a year?"

"I don't know! For as long as I can...I guess."

"When will you go back to work for _House to Home_?"

"I wasn't really planning on taking an extended leave. I'll just work from home most days. With the fundraiser out of the way, I won't need to be in the office as much as I have been."

"The doctor won't want you to go back to work for six to eight weeks, Ava – depending on the delivery. And if I have any say in the matter, and I think I should have some say, I don't want you returning to work for at _least_ eight weeks. I was hoping you would take a year off of work. My father will understand and it's not like you really take pay. Don't you still cut your paycheck back to the fund?"

"Yeah...but I don't want to take that much time off work, Ari. I really enjoy what I do. Are _you_ taking a year off work?"

" _Pfft_. No."

Her brow rose and her lip curled. I had somehow insulted her. Accidently implying that my job was more important than hers.

"Eight weeks it is. You'll need a pump then. And you'll eventually need to switch to bottles, so you should find a bottle with the same kind of nipples as yours."

I picked a box of bottles that came highly recommended from a pediatric group and then grabbed a pack of nipples and tossed them in the cart. "Those are probably the most similar to your own."

"How do you know?"

"I have spent a lot of time with them, that's how." I winked.

Ava blushed so hard, I could feel the heat radiating off her cheeks. "Ava! It's just your body, everyone has nipples. No need to get embarrassed."

"I'm not embarrassed!" She hissed.

"Yes you are!"

She turned a shade darker and then walked away towards the wall of diapers.

Catching up, I grabbed a jumbo pack of newborn diapers and shoved the box below the cart.

We piled in tiny nail clippers, baby wipes and a booger sucker, a breast pump, a baby bath and a monitor. Ava and I deliberated on a baby swing for twenty minutes until Max whined and begged to move along to the next item on the list. We tested strollers, car seats and high chairs and I could tell that Ava was overwhelmed.

"We already have a crib, why do we need a bassinet, too?"

"The baby will sleep in our room for a while. It'll just easier for you that way, since you'll be feeding in the middle of the night. With your nightmares, I just can't see you sleeping with the baby in our own bed. It'll be too dangerous, you toss around so hard. A bassinet will have to be the way to go."

"Right. God, I'm nervous." She chewed her lip.

"Don't be. You're a great mom, Ava. Isn't she, Max?"

"Yesss!" he cheered and Ava beamed at him.

"It's different this time. We have to start from scratch with this one. I don't know what to do – this is new territory."

Max had arrived potty trained and eating table food, walking and somewhat talking on his own. A baby was a whole new set of rules.

"You aren't alone. You have me. We're going to learn together."

"K." Her head bobbed.

"And my mom is right next door."

"Yep...Aggie. I'm gonna need her."

"Speaking of..."

"What?"

"Have you thought about the delivery room?"

"What about the delivery room?" Her brow pulled up in a question.

"I am going to be in there with you when the baby is born, but have you thought about anyone else. My mom asked me if she could be there, too, and I didn't know what to tell her..."

"No. And I don't mean that in a mean way. But that day belongs to us, Ari. The birth of our baby is a most special day...and those first moments? I want to share them with just you. That moment in time, we are going to remember it forever, it will be our best memory together."

"You're right." I grabbed a pack of white onesies and tossed them in the pile and headed towards the register, feeling a little more prepared for a new addition to the family than I had in the morning.

With my SUV completely loaded down, I pulled into the garage and popped the rear hatch to start unloading a whole carful of baby must haves. All three of us were in fun and carefree moods. Ava and Max had plans to raid the freezer for ice cream as soon as they got inside. The heaviness from the past week was beginning to ebb away. I could breathe again.

Ava helped Max from his seat, unlocked the door and followed after him through the doorway. I was right behind her with my hands loaded down with bags.

"What on Earth is that noise?" I called ahead of them. The hallway echoed moans that were similar to Ava's birthing video. Animalistic howls of pain.

The small, crying moans sounded off like an alarm and my mind raced as I tried to place the noises. Howls, too, as if a dying animal were trapped and hanging on to its last breath.

"Did you let the cat in the house?" Ava asked me.

"No. I locked the door. Remember?" A small row of goosebumps dotted down my spine as the noise grew louder and more panicked.

Ava reached the end of the hall and she screamed. Her hand flew over Max's eyes shielding him from whatever she had seen.

"Oh, no!" She cried. "Ari! The cat!" Her fingers trembled over Max's face and her own.

"What?" I pushed ahead of them both, the bags dropped from my arms and I stared with an open mouth at a blood-soaked floor. "Ava, get in the car now! Lock the doors, call the police."

She grabbed Max and ran.

I scrambled for a towel in the laundry room and carefully eased Fluff, covered in his own blood, into my arms. His tail and one of his ears had been completely severed, the blood around his face made it too difficult to see if he still an eye. Our kitchen knife was tossed on the bloody ground. A furry, bleeding black cat tail lay beside it. Written in our cat's blood, on our kitchen floor was 0804. Our alarm code.

The cat howled in pain. Still alive but just barely. With him in my arms, I made it back to the car and sped of out the driveway to the animal hospital. Ava was frantic on the phone, shouting our address and begging for someone to come quick. Max cried a loud billowy scream. His tiny kitten had been cruelly attacked in the most perverse and malicious way. Blood was everywhere and Max had seen it all.

"Mama...," he whimpered.

Ava turned around to face him just in time for Max to puke.

### Chapter 26

### Bug

"This is Ari," I scooped up the receiver before Lirik could intercede.

"Hi, Ari, this is Dr. Kopecki at the animal clinic."

I had not slept soundly in what seemed like weeks. None of us had. Max had not uttered a single word since throwing up in his lap.

Fluff had been in critical condition for the first 48 hours after the attack. He had lost a lot of blood, he had lost his tail and his right ear, and the veterinarian had had to remove his left eye to fight infection. The gash that had been sliced across his face had left that eye blind anyway, I was told.

"Tell me you have good news. We need some good news."

"Fluff's going to look a little strange, but he'll be fine. He needs some time to heal and adjust. You can pick him today if you'd like."

A small amount of relief helped ease my tight shoulder muscles. "I will. My family will be very happy to see him."

"Remember we close at six. But we can stay a bit if you need us to."

"I'm on my way."

I set down the phone with a sigh and buzzed reception. "Lirik?"

"I'm here, Ari." She was already standing in my open doorway in her same pencil skirt, high heels and long-sleeved silk blouse. She must have that outfit in every color imaginable. She was the only woman in the office with long sleeves when the temperature was well above ninety degrees outside. She was the only woman who worked in the fashion industry who owned just one style of shoe.

"I'm leaving now. I have an appointment with the security company in the morning. I may or may not be in the office tomorrow. You can send calls to my cell and I'll work from my home office as much as I can. I'll be in on Friday."

"Okay."

"Do I have any messages before I go?"

"No messages."

"Nothing from Julia?"

"I'm sorry. She hasn't returned your calls."

"Have you tried Detective Scott?"

"L.A.P.D still won't give me his personal information. He isn't listed in the phone book either."

"Leave our information with the desk sergeant again and ask him to forward it to Scott... Tell them it is Ava Alexander \- he'll call her back," I said as I grabbed my keys and left the office. I made it to the vet with some time to spare and picked Fluff up in a small carrier along with a bottle of antibiotics.

"You'll want to be very gentle with him. He's stitched up but still weak and healing." Dr. Kopecki gave me a kind smile.

"Thank you for your help."

"Of course. That's what we're here for. Do you have any idea who may have done this? Animal abuse and cruelty is a felony in California. Abuse is something I take very seriously."

"We don't know who is responsible yet. We are trying. The police are involved."

The veterinarian was sick at the idea that someone had purposely wounded this defenseless animal. We all were. I had never had so much hate buzzing through my veins at one time.

"Will you keep us updated on Fluff's progress? If you have any questions, don't hesitate to call."

"I will and thank you."

Fluff gave one tiny mew on the ride to my parent's house.

Ava and my mom were in the kitchen at the island. Max sat on the floor in a pile of Legos. We had been at my parents' house all week. In good conscience, I couldn't allow Ava or Max in our home until all the security was updated. We were being watched. Terrorized and hunted.

"I have Fluff." Gently, I held up the carrier and Max turned to look up at me. Unlocking the crate's door, I eased the kitty onto my palm and sat him on the floor next to Max. My eyes were dry and itchy and I resisted the urge to rub them raw. "Here you go. Be soft, okay?" I took Max's finger and helped him stroke Fluff behind his neck. The cat arched his back with Max's touch and gave a soft vibrating purr.

"Hi, Baby." My lips pressed into Ava's round cheek and then I washed cat fur from my hands at the sink.

"Hey, Ma."

"Ari, dinner is in ten – grab your father. He's in the study."

"Sure..."

We have very few house rules. One is not to use the word _hate_. Two is not to bother my father when he's in the study unless mom says otherwise.

Feeling like I was a kid again, I hesitated outside the office door. I could tell he was on the phone, but didn't listen to what he was saying. I knocked when he ended the call.

"Uh, hey Dad – it's just me." I said from behind the closed door. "Ma said it's time for dinner."

"Ari, come in, I would like to talk with you for a minute."

Pushing open the door, I walked in and stood in front of his desk. I had never been comfortable in this space. Never welcome unless I had Ava beside me. My relationship with my father was vastly different from the one I had with my mother.

"Have a seat."

"Sure."

"Are you doing alright?" He asked after I sat down. "You haven't said much since you've been staying here."

"I'm fine. I'm eager to be home. The new security company comes tomorrow so we can all go home after that."

"Ava seems very upset."

"Do you blame her? I changed the alarm code and Ava's the only person I gave the new digits to. The person I spoke to at the alarm company said the intruder used the correct code on their first attempt. How in the hell did they find out? What kind of a person would do that to an animal?"

He didn't look at me. "It won't happen again."

"How do you know?"

"I don't..." He still wouldn't look at me. He just twirled his wedding band around his finger. Around and around and around. "What are the police saying?"

"Detective Bryant is taking the situation a little more seriously but they don't know anything more than they did before. We haven't been able to talk to Scott."

"That won't happen again, Ari." He said again.

"How do you know?"

"I don't," he said again, shrugged and stood up for dinner. "I know you are upset. Just remember, I am on your side. I will help you and Ava anyway that I can."

We all ate in silence for the third night in a row and after dinner, Ava sat at the piano. My mom smiled at the sound of her first stroke on the keys. Max and I could listen to her play all night.

Ava played complex and beautiful songs I didn't know, Max sat on the living room floor with the cat on his lap and I sneezed every few minutes on the bench beside her.

At eight thirty, my mom's tea kettle whistled. I could set my watch to it. Every evening for as long as I can remember, my mother has made tea at eight thirty and taken two cups to my dad's study. It is their time each day to talk alone.

Ava yawned mid-song, stopped playing, closed the piano lid and turned to me. "Ari, I'm tired."

"I'll take you to bed."

"No. I am tired of all of this. I don't want to live this way. I don't want to be scared, I don't want to have to fight for our right to happiness. I want this to be over, I want to go home. Who is doing this to us?"

"I don't know. But I am going to find out. I won't rest until I do."

They slept together, the two of them, Max and Ava snuggled in tight under the blankets, keeping each other warm and safe. I watched them like a dog on guard duty.

****

"All done..." A tall, thin man from the new security company stood outside the doorway of my home office. "When you're ready, I can show you how to access the system."

"I'm ready now." I stood and followed him to the new access panel; a high-tech touch- screen device that had been mounted to my wall and showed surveillance of the outside and inside of our home.

"You will have 24-hour video surveillance of every room in the home including the garage and the pool house as well as of the entire perimeter of your yard. The video is high-definition and in color so you should have a clear image of anyone who tries to gain access to your property. You can view your home live through any computer via our website – we'll give you access to the codes and links. No one else can penetrate the system. You can also view everything through an application on your phone and any tablet and also on your televisions here at home. Video surveillance can be disabled in any room at any time for discretion and privacy by using your access code."

A map of our house was glowing on the wall mount and he selected room number 5, the baby's room. "Here is an example of the technology we have." The baby's room came into full view and he zoomed in on every corner, the closet and the crib. "We have left no corner untouched. This is very high-tech gear, the best available today. We use voice recognition to disarm the alarm. All you have to do is say your code clearly into the system and the code will disengage. If someone else attempts to disarm the alarm code and the system does not recognize the voice, the alarm will sound here at your home, but also on your cell phones and computers where the application is downloaded and then at our headquarters and police will be notified. If they don't have your voice, then they can't have access – it's that simple. Securacare is really the best choice, Mr. Alexander. Your family is safe with us."

"Thank you."

"I disabled your existing cameras – they were out of date anyway and you won't be needing them with our system. I hope that was okay."

My whole body lurched forward with a sickening, head-spinning confusion and fear. "I beg your pardon. _Existing_ cameras?"

"Yeah, one in each room. But like I said, the quality was poor, ours are much better."

"We didn't have cameras."

"You did," he nodded "and some kind of sound device – microphones were running through your speaker system. I disabled that too. I am surprised that you kept it running for so long, I am sure you'll find that with it gone, your sound quality will improve."

"We didn't have that installed."

"Perhaps it was a previous owner then. How long have you owned the home?"

"No, they didn't have a security system. I checked when I bought the house – over a year ago."

"I'm sorry, Sir, but yes, you did." He handed me the bill. "If you have questions, here is my card with my direct line and also our eight hundred number. I left a brochure on the counter with our frequently asked questions. You and your wife should record your voices today. You cannot access the system without your voice. The sooner you are up and going, the safer you will be."

We were bugged. They had been watching us in the most private rooms of our home. We weren't safe.

### Chapter 27

### Paper

"I'm back. Any messages?" Returning from an afternoon meeting, I brushed past Lirik on my way into my office.

"No messages but a package came for you while you were out." Lirik pointed to a large decorative basket filled with _Yummy Yum_ chocolates and candies. I stopped and smiled at the thought of Ava. "There is an envelope attached, do you want me to open it for you?"

"No." I pulled the tape from the envelope addressed to me in pretty, cursive writing. The envelope held the tickets for the charity dinner and a heavy cardstock note with _House to Home's_ logo embedded in golden scripted letters.

Flipping the card over, it read in fresh printer ink, "Dear Mr. Alexander, The staff at _House to Home_ , the children, and the community would like to thank you for your generous donation. We eagerly look forward to seeing you at the black tie dinner hosted by _House to Home_ on the evening of Saturday, October the fifth, at seven o'clock. Drinks will be followed by dinner, a silent auction, dancing and door prizes."

The charity's mission statement was scripted across the bottom and then a handwritten, personal note from Ava was just below that.

"Love you, xo, Yours."

_Mine_. My thumb brushed against her writing.

"Are those tickers to the fundraiser dinner?" Lirik chirped.

"They are. I held back a table for my staff. If you're free that evening, you're welcome to join us. It should be a fun night."

"I'll do that. Thank you, Ari."

"You are most welcome." I looked back down at Ava's note and the phone rang at the reception desk.

"Thank you for calling _baio_!..."

I had just shut the door to my office when Lirik's disembodied voice echoed from my desk phone, announcing the call, "Ari, your mother is holding on line one."

The little red light on the phone flashed until I sat at my chair, leaned back and picked up the receiver.

"Hey, Ma."

"Hi, Kiddo!"

My head gave an exasperated shake at her term of endearment. "What's up?"

"I never heard from you about the new security system. How'd it go? Do you feel a little safer now?"

_No_.

"Uh, it's a pretty nice system..."

"That's a good thing, right?"

"Sure, Ma."

"I was with Ava today, she was in a much lighter mood, I think she feels better with the added security."

"You and Ava were together all week, what were you doing together again today?"

"I gave her a hand with your anniversary gift."

"Oh, so this why you called me. Do you really think you need to remind me of my own anniversary?"

"I just want to make sure you haven't forgotten...It's on Sunday. This Sunday, the fourth."

"Ma, trust me, I know."

"You are doing the traditional route right?"

My annoyance carried through the phone in a heavy breath.

"Year one is paper – the gift should be paper, Ari. Have you gotten her a gift yet? Because if not, I have a few ideas. What about..."

Opening my desk drawer, I ignored her page-long list of awful ideas and pulled out a narrow envelope containing Ava's gift. I tucked it safely into my inner breast pocket, reached across the desk to shut down my computer and packed some papers away for the weekend. "Yes, I have a gift, yes it is fairly traditional and that is all you need to know."

She huffed in disappointment. Obviously she had been hoping I would let her in on the details surrounding my anniversary present to Ava. "Fine then, I have to get going. Your father will be home shortly and I have to get ready. We're taking Max out tonight for pizza and a movie."

"Oh? This is news to me."

"He's had a hard week, and Andy and I thought some time away from the house might do Max some good. He perks up every time that robot movie trailer is on TV, so I think he wants to see it. We'll be gone only a few hours. Max will be home before bedtime. Ava said that tonight would work best."

"Ok, well then, I guess tonight will work best. Please be safe."

"We will. What are you two going to do tonight?"

"Oh, you know it's Friday so probably just the usual – sit on the couch and watch bad reality TV while we shout at all the people and tell them they are idiots."

My mom laughed into the phone. "Sounds like my kind of evening. Hope you aren't disappointed. Do you have any plans to take Ava out? Maybe a romantic dinner? We can keep Max for the weekend if you want to get away..."

"Give it up already, would you? I am not telling you what I got her and no need for a babysitter. Max is included in my plans but thank you for your offer. We'll be at your place on Sunday."

"Really? You're still planning on coming over to our house on your anniversary?"

"Uhhh... I was planning on it. Are we not invited?"

"No! I mean yes! I mean, I just figured you wouldn't want to hang out with the whole family on your anniversary day."

"I love hanging out with my family."

"Don't you want a special weekend with your girl?" She pressed.

"Ma, your idea of special and our idea of special are just different. We like to keep things low key and near the house."

"Maybe Ava would like a little romance."

"I do okay in the romance department... I think."

She snickered, "Ok, kiddo, whatever you say. Treat her like a princess, Ari."

"I always do. I thought you said you had to go."

"I do."

"Good. Me too. Bye." I hung up before she could add anything further to the conversation and hold me up from leaving work early.

"Have a nice weekend, Lirik." My knuckles rapped at her desktop.

"Happy anniversary."

****

The back hall leading from the garage was dark aside from the glow of the new security system. The alarm beeped until I accessed the device and then spoke the code into the speaker.

"Baby? I'm home." Ava's music hummed and carried down from the sound system. The music quality was clear again with no static interrupting every few beats. "Babe? Ave?" My keys jingled against the glass bowl, I kicked my loafers off at the mat and removed my tie, tossing it on the countertop.

" _Holy God_ , _"_ I finally turned around and saw her. _"I am one lucky man."_

Our home held the soft light of a hundred or more candles. Small dancing flames licked at the air and flickered elegantly, sending light through the house, bouncing off the glass from the windows and back again.

"Happy anniversary." Ava smiled at me from across the room; her long soft waves flowed past the bend of her spine and across the front of her chest. I sauntered to her like an animal on the prowl and tugged at the girly pink and dainty strap of her lingerie. "What did I do to deserve you?" My nose nuzzled through her hair and my lips pressed to the seashell curve of her ear. "You are beautiful, you know?" Her face warmed and heat radiated from her cheeks as I trailed my lips and tongue down the smooth skin of her slender neck. "But our anniversary isn't until Sunday."

"I couldn't wait any longer."

"Mmm..." I breathed in her midnight smelling skin. "I am happy you didn't wait. You look so sexy, I couldn't ask for a more perfect anniversary present than you."

Ava shrugged out of my arms and I blinked at her, confused at the quick change of her mood.

"What did I say?"

"Open your eyes. I am not your gift. This," she smoothed the lacy fabric, "is just for a little fun after your present."

"My eyes are open; I can't take them off you."

"Try."

"It's impossible. You are the prettiest thing in the room. You are the prettiest thing in any room. Why would I want to look at anything else?"

"If you look away, I promise you will still see me."

My brow pulled into a knit. Tearing my gaze away from her smile and sparkling eyes, I looked around the room.

"What, Babe?"

"Really?" She stomped her foot in a cute pout.

"The house is clean. That's nice."

"Oh, my God!" She stomped again and crossed her hands over the top of her baby bump.

" _Oh! My! God!_ " I breathed when I saw the photos. No more cold, bare walls. Our smiles were warm and happy again. "Oh, wow, Ava."

"Paper. Happy anniversary."

"Paper. The pictures. All of them. Did you replace all of them?"

"Yeah, every single one. Your mom let me loose in her studio all week. I ordered copies of every picture that was damaged during the break-in. She helped me hang the new frames this afternoon while you were in your meeting at work so you wouldn't be able to access the security cameras and ruin the surprise and then she called you when you got back to the office to keep you from checking in on us. Lirik helped us keep track of you all day. She's very nice. I offered her a ticket to the fundraiser, I hope you don't mind."

"You clever girl."

"No one is going to tear us apart. Not ever again. You are mine, Ari. And I am yours forever."

"Forever." I nodded and smiled at my home and my wife. Ava had put us back together again and it felt so right. "God, I love you." My mouth pushed firmly against hers. A breath of surprise pushed past her lips before she could kiss me back. "Thank you. You are exactly what I need."

"You're welcome."

"Can I play with this now?" My finger slid between the garter belt and the warm skin of her thigh.

She giggled, "I'm all yours."

"Yes you are." In true caveman fashion, I lugged Ava off to the candlelit bedroom. I was rewarded with the sounds of her moans, the taste of her skin and the sight of her exquisitely curved body.

****

" _Jesus Christ!"_ My limbs flung forward, jolting me awake. The sensation of falling joined the terror of my recurring nightmare. The press of Ava's body on top of me gave me peace. The sight of her in my tee shirt and boxers gave me comfort. Pieces of Ava's pink lace and garters were shredded and shoved between the sheets and under pillows. A rusty, dull flavor lingered in my mouth from the blood drawn by her bite to my lip. My palm cupped her belly and Ava's eyelashes tickled my chest as she woke. "Hey," she rasped, "morning."

"Morning. Sleep well?"

She nodded and the baby bumped just under my hand.

"Whoa." I pulled back, still surprised by the feeling. "I think Cal is hungry."

"Yes, and so is Ava," she said just as Max stormed down the hall in a speedy pursuit to find us. "And so is Max."

"I'll make something quick to help pacify the mob. Meet you in kitchen?"

"I'll be down in five."

Catching Max by the baby's room, I scooped him up and tossed him over my shoulder, recruiting him for breakfast duty. Going on five days, and still no talking. He relied solely on hand gestures, head nods, smiles and frowns. His doctor and speech therapist both suggested a return of the slight voluntary mutism he had experienced before. It had been caused by a traumatic experience then...and now, too, the doctors believed...in this case, finding his cat bloody, cut up and barely alive. That was enough to make any child struggle to find a coping mechanism. They were optimistic since his earlier episode had lasted only three days, and believed he would give up after a while and begin talking again. We were told to wait things out, give him time, comfort and support. It was hard not to let him see our worry. It was even harder not to beg him for one tiny word.

Ava eased into a chair at the table five minutes later and spooned cold cereal into her mouth.

"How was the movie?" I asked and Max gave me a thumbs up – still no talking.

"Did Papus fall asleep in the theater?"

He nodded.

"Did Yaya get mad at him?"

Max nodded and smiled.

"I bet she did. He always did that when I was a kid, too. Listen, I got you two a present. It's for our anniversary."

"Our anniversary isn't until tomorrow." Ava crunched a sugary fruit loop.

"I know but you gave me your gift early and I need you to have mine now – it's time sensitive."

Ava scowled at me. "Ari, you get me too many things. I know it's our anniversary and all, but you have already gone _way_ overboard this year. Remember? We talked about this...as long as I have you, I'm happy."

"I remember. It's just paper, Ava. This present is fun – not the least bit over the top or extravagant. I promise you will love this."

She scrunched her nose.

"I'll tell you what, take the gift, open it, and if you think it is too much or out of line or whatever – I will just throw it away and you can pretend that I didn't give you anything. No feelings hurt. You have to at least open it and see what it is first. And like I said, the gift is for Max, too."

She eyed me and I slid the narrow, thin envelope across the table to her. Her fingers strummed the tabletop until she finally gave up and took the envelope.

Peeking inside, Ava's lips pulled upwards into a happy smile. "Baseball tickets?"

"Angels versus the Texas Rangers, noon game today in Anaheim. What do you say, Ava? It's just a silly baseball game, not even any teams we like. Will you go with me? Max?"

"Yes! Best present _ever_!" Ava cheered.

Exasperated, I pointed across the kitchen at her watch that had sat untouched for days. "That is _Harry_ _Winston_ , Ava!"

"Whoever the heck that is," she teased me.

****

I tugged at the end of Ava's long ponytail that was pulled through the back of a baseball cap. "Good seats, huh?"

"Great seats! We're so close to the field. This is perfect for Max's first major league game."

"I hope you aren't disappointed, but these tickets are all I got for you. I thought we'd just stay low key tomorrow, hang around the house and stop by my parent's place for some family time."

Ava leaned her head down on my shoulder and I kissed the rim of her hat. She knew why I wanted to stay home. The anniversary of our marriage will always be marred by the dark days that had followed – a reminder of the week that she was missing. Our home and our peace had now been violated twice again and I was determined to keep both Ava and Max safe and at my side as much as I could. Nervous energy was balled up inside me. I kept waiting for some kind of ball to drop. Doomsday was approaching. I could feel it in my bones. Something was going to happen. I was going to fail them.

"Ari, this weekend is great. All I ever want is you. You know that. But, will you do me a favor?" She lifted her head from my shoulder and looked up at me with puppy dog eyes.

"You know I'm going to say yes to whatever you want so just spit it out."

"Grab Max and me a hotdog? Pretty please." She batted her lashes playfully.

Glancing up at the long and steadily growing concession stand line, I hid my grimace. "I'll be back in a little bit."

"Thanks, Ari."

"You betcha, Baby."

From the line, I could see our seats. My eyes stayed focused on Ava and Max. They were both engrossed with the action on the field. Occasionally, Max switched from his own chair to Ava's lap and then back again. Removing my cell from my pocket, I hit Julia's number and called her again for the hundredth time or maybe more. "Julia, hi... me again. I would really like to talk with you. It's important. Anyway, love ya."

"Ari, fancy seeing you here," the hard baritone of Cameron Gallo's southern accent made my nerves crawl. The sound of his voice scattered up my spine and burrowed into my brain like a seedy cock roach. He patted my shoulder and gave it a hard squeeze.

My eyes remained on Ava in the distance and I slid my phone back into my pocket.

"Leave us alone, Gallo. I have nothing to do with you."

"You're right, Ari. You have nothing to do with me. Angels fan?"

"No. You?"

"I'm from Texas, Ari." His accent said it all; he was undoubtedly a Rangers fan. A quick look back in his direction showed me his old, faded Texas Rangers cap, complete with a small, ratty tear to the front of the bill. The hat was uncharacteristic of his rich and polished style and stuck out like a sore thumb in contrast to his tailor made slacks and loafers. "Are you a fellow Rangers fan then?"

"No, I certainly am not." I stepped up to the stand and ordered, "Two hotdogs with relish and extra mustard, three bottles of water."

"May I ask what interest you have in this game?"

"What interest do you have in Julia?"

"I have no interest in Julia."

"Where is she?"

"I wouldn't know. I haven't seen her since you and I last spoke. As I said before, my interest is in Ava. Only Ava."

"Leave. Her. Alone."

"I am on your side, Ari."

"I don't need you on my side."

"Wrong again."

I grabbed the hotdogs in one hand, the waters in the other and turned to walk away.

"I would like to meet Ava, she ran off at the _baio_ show before I had my opportunity."

My muscles tightened and hairs pricked at the nape of my neck. "Stay away from her."

Cameron's gaze followed mine and his eyes narrowed at the sight of my wife and child.

"Max," he said and smiled when he spotted him. "I have a daughter his age and she is always looking for new friends. We're seated in the dugout suite. I'll fetch Lola and we'll come over to say hello."

He walked away in the direction of the Rangers dugout without ordering anything at the concession stand.

"Hey, Baby." I nudged her shoulder with my wrist and handed over her hotdog. "Careful, it's hot."

"Thanks! Long line? You were gone forever. I was about to come look for you."

"Mmm hmm. Having fun? We don't have to stay for the whole game. I'm happy to head home whenever you are. We can get ahead of the traffic and just play on the beach by the house tonight..."

"Ari," she patted my empty seat beside her. "It's a good game. Max won't be ready to go for a long time."

I slid down into the chair and passed Max his hotdog.

"There are forty thousand people here. We're safe. We don't need to worry about that stuff right now. Let's try to have...fun." She bumped her shoulder with mine. "Relax. We're winning!"

"I know. And I _am_ relaxed. And who are we cheering for?"

"The Rangers."

"I'm from L.A. Why aren't we cheering for the Angels?"

"You're not really from L.A. and I like the Rangers...I have a thing for southern accents."

"You do not."

"Ok, you got me, I don't." She took a massive bite from her hotdog. "But I like the team just the same. You know – the Rangers were my dad's favorite team." She talked past a mouthful of food.

"Really? I didn't know that."

"Your dad told me. He gave me a picture he had of my dad wearing a Ranger's cap. Makes me want to root for them just for my Dad's sake."

"Go Rangers." I winked.

"Ari." Cameron squeezed my shoulder again, alerting me of his quick arrival. "Having fun?"

"We were."

"This is my daughter, Lola." Cameron smiled brightly down on a little, messy-haired girl who hid behind his knee. She made him seem less polished. She made him more human.

"Hi." Lola looked past me with wide, blue eyes staring at Max. He froze in his embarrassment caused by the little girl and smashed his reddened face into my arm.

"Smart, pretty girls make him nervous," I told Lola.

"I am very sure he'll grow out of that." Cameron stared at Ava who hadn't yet bothered to look away from the game. "Hello, Ava. I am Cameron." He purred. The way he stared at her made me want to kill him.

Ava looked up in his direction and squinted her eyes in the bright sun. She had another bite of hotdog in her mouth and licked at the small drop of mustard on the corner of her lip. "Hi." She swallowed, smiled politely and then put her attention right back on the game.

I grinned triumphantly at my girl.

"It's nice to meet you." He pulled her back into the conversation.

"It's nice to meet you, too...?"

"Cameron Gallo." He said and his eyes narrowed, causing the skin to pull in the corners.

"Do you work for Ari?"

A hint of humor twinkled in his eye. Cameron is a well-known man. From what little I have read about him, he owned everything. He knew everyone and more importantly, everyone knew him. My own sister had a weird and marginally inappropriate crush on the man nearly twice her age. Every woman in the stadium would jump at the chance to speak with him. Ava had unintentionally but significantly wounded his pride and I couldn't help but love her even more for that.

"Not exactly, no. I am involved in many things, but the fashion industry isn't one of them. I..."

She was blissfully unaware of Cameron as he talked and did not grant him the least bit of attention. Ava wasn't deliberately being rude, she was just pre-consumed. She jumped from her seat when a loud crack from a baseball bat echoed through the stadium. The ball flew into the bleachers and the batter sped through the bases for a home run.

She cheered and Max jumped alongside her.

"We have a box reserved. You are welcome to join us. There is plenty of space. Much better food...I am friends with the team's manager. Your son can meet the players after the game. Maybe run the bases if he would like." He turned back to me.

"Thanks, Cameron that sounds nice but we're all set here. In fact, we were just talking about leaving. Lola, it was a pleasure meeting you."

She smiled past me at Max and the very tops of his cheeks blushed just as Ava's sometime do.

"Bye, bye." The little girl said to Max.

He stared back at her, unblinking and mesmerized by her pretty, doll face. "Bye," he said back to Lola Gallo and Ava and I both gasped at the unexpected sound of his voice.

### Chapter 28

### Gallo

" _Cameron Gallo..."_

Ava's laptop was a slow and frustrating piece of machinery. Her MacBook hummed in a sort of threatening way as the search engine slowly turned out news stories, tabloid pieces and Wiki pages. Combing through the slush pile of information over the past few weeks, I learned that his father's business failed when Cameron was an infant. Gallo Sr. killed himself, leaving young Cameron with a mother who was less than capable of caring for him.

A stranger took pity on Gallo as a young kid and mentored him, helping him get a better start in life. When the mentor died, he left a large fortune to Gallo, a fortune that helped the young man to live but not to live with seriousness. He started school at Harvard but soon dropped out, more interested in being a philanderer and seeing his name in print. One affair after another with a page-long list of beautiful women made the tabloids... until he married a doe-eyed Texan, Dove Bethel.

"Useless garbage..." I mumbled and continued my search. A peal of Max's giggles rang from the sun porch and was followed by a happy meow from Fluff.

Images of Cameron and Dove together littered the search page, the two of them polished and smiling together at charity galas and ribbon-cutting ceremonies. There were a few, too, of Dove in a string bikini lounging on the deck of a yacht while Cameron chipped golf balls into the Adriatic Sea. They looked happy together.

The computer pages continued to roll along. School long forgotten, Cameron seemed secure at 29... his net worth had climbed to $21.5 billion, he had been considered America's foremost and youngest billionaire for quite some time, he owns the largest privately held equity company, The Gallo Firm...and so on. But none of what I was reading mattered to me. I needed to know what he wanted with Ava. I needed to know _who_ he was. Gallo is Greek. It means cock, like a rooster – a Gallo is someone who is vain, egotistical, arrogant and haughty. A fitting name.

"Max," Ava warned as she passed by the den, "don't squeeze Fluff too hard, you can hurt him. Ari, watch him."

"I am..." my eyes stayed on the screen.

"The guy's a philanthropist," I muttered mostly to myself. "He donates millions of dollars a year – listen to this list! Global Fund for Women...Witness for Peace...Global Hunger Project... Farm Sanctuary... Cancer Care and Research...Center for Survivors of Violence and Kidnapping...National Center for Post-Traumatic Stress... Huh... he gives to _House to Home_...wow, a lot, too..."

"What, Ari?!" Ava hollered over the babble of my mother and Gianna's conversation as it floated in from the kitchen.

"Nothing, Babe."

Scrolling the curser through pages and pages of articles relating to his love life, business affairs and humanitarian work, I found a piece of interest that was dated nearly two years prior.

"He funded an extremist group in Greece? What the fuck!"

"Ari!" Ava hissed and I could imagine my mother and Gianna both sending me nasty, disapproving looks.

"Sorry, Babe. Mom. G."

I clicked the link.

"I thought you said you would help!"

"I will. Just a second...."

My eyes scanned the report, quickly reading parts of the article to myself. "Business Mogul, Cameron Gallo was questioned today concerning a money trail linking him to a highly secretive Greek extremist group known as the Ziloti. Little is known about the Greek secret society but it has been suggested that they hold strong ties associated with the terrorist family of Kakos brothers. Gallo denies any affiliation with or funding of any extremist or terrorist groups and... "

Ava's laptop closed in my face. "Are you listening to me?"

"Of course..."

"What'd I just say?" Ava flashed a white-toothed, plump, pink-lipped smile at me. The dining room light shined down on her and gave her a soft, angelic glow. "Hmmm? I'm waiting, Ari... What did I just say, Mr. I'm Listening?" Her fingers impatiently tapped the top of her closed laptap. The curve of her mouth lifted in a tease causing her freckle to dance.

"Umm..." That tiny little freckle has the ability of making me forget my own name. She is a goddess designed to take a man to his knees. "You're gorgeous, Ava."

"That's what I thought. Now, you promised you would help us so come on and get up. If you get working, we 'll be done in an hour."

"Okay, I am all yours, what do you need me to do?" It was the weekend before _House to Home's_ charity gala and to cut back on spending the center's funds and taking more money away from the cause, Ava decided she would do as much as possible herself, recruiting the family to pitch in with a list of side jobs.

"Rory is loading all the door prizes into my car... you can help him with that or you can help Gianna, Lauren and Aggie with the centerpieces."

"Or?"

"Or...you can help me with the place cards."

"Do I get to hang with you if I do the place cards?"

"Yep."

"Then I'll do that."

"Great! Here is the list of guests; every name has a number associated with it. For example," she plucked a place card from a small stack of finished cards, "Robert Phillips - 8.1, so Doctor Phillips will be seated at table eight, seat one. As a guest arrives, he will find his namecard with the table number printed on the back. All you need to do is make sure all the names are numbered. Here is a diagram of how the seating should look." Ava set a poster board on the table that replicated the round tables with numbers and names.

"Sure, I can handle that." I took the list from Ava's hand and read some of the names of donators who had purchased tickets for the evening. She sat the big stack of unfinished place cards beside me on the table with a get to work look on her face.

"Hey Baby, do you remember Cameron Gallo? We met him a couple of weeks ago at the Rangers game." Quickly, I scanned the sheet but he wasn't listed as a guest. "He donates quite a bit each year to the charity."

"Gallo?"

"Mmm hmm..."

Her nose scrunched. "Oh yeah, he's that guy your sister crushes on."

"Yeah, him."

"I vaguely remember meeting him, why do you ask? Is he a friend of yours?"

"No. No way. He donates a lot of money to _House to Home_ , are you sure he's never called you for anything? He's never come to the center for a meeting?"

"No, Ari. Gallo must be one of your dad's donators. Andy would handle anything that would have to do with him. I work with my own people and he does the same, it's just easier that way."

"Right... sure."

She pushed away from the table and stood, grabbing the laptop and putting it under her arm. "I'll put this back in the study."

"K... Oh, wait a minute, Ave!"

"What?" She turned back around to face me.

"This place card is wrong. You have Fauna Korie printed but she doesn't work for me anymore, this needs to be reprinted, it should be for Lirik Nino."

"No." Ava pointed down at the sheet of names. "Lirik is on here, too. See? Lirik is included with your work table that you purchased and Fauna is included with this group." She pointed to table number four on the diagram.

"Fauna bought a ticket?"

"Not really, she is just someone's plus one, she is coming with another donator of your dad's."

"Oh. Cool. I guess."

"Very." Ava rolled her eyes in a tease. She never liked Fauna. "I am putting this away now. I don't want to see my laptop out for the rest of the evening – you promised you would help."

"Whatever, whatever, that computer is garbage anyway. I am buying you a new one first thing tomorrow."

"You wouldn't dare, Ari!"

"Obviously, you don't know me well enough."

_Shit_. I regretted that sentence immediately. Ava frowned and three worried creases set in place in her forehead. Her light happy attitude was instantly gone and her mind filled with dozens of what ifs and doubts. What if Persephone comes for me? What if we were wrong for each other... What if What if What if...

"I love only you, Ava."

"Please start working, Ari."

She left and I knew she wouldn't come back to the table, she would find something else, some other task that was more pressing and needed her full attention.

Sitting alone, I sorted through hundreds of names and numbers slowly, putting everyone in his or her place.

"Have you seen Ava?" Lauren fell back into the seat next to me with an exhausted breath.

"Nope. Not for a couple of hours anyway."

"I need a break from centerpieces _and_ mom and aunt G. Whatcha doing?"

"Place cards." I handed her the last of a small stack to sort.

"Yikes, what do I do with this, Ari?" Lauren plucked the card from the top of the stack and held up Julia's name that was perfectly penned in calligraphy script across the heavy, cream cardstock.

"Crap." Raking my hands up my scruffy face and through my hair, I stared back for a moment. I missed her. It had been nearly six weeks since Julia left. She hadn't returned any of my calls. The only person she had any contact with was my father and he assured Rory that she was fine; Julia just needed some space to grow. Whatever that means. I hadn't gone this long without talking to Julia since she came into my life when we were thirteen. I missed her more than I ever knew I would.

"I don't know, Lauren."

"Well, is she coming?"

"I don't know, Lauren! I doubt it."

"What do I do with this?"

"Just give it here!" I snatched it from her hand.

"Where do I get to sit?" Lauren looked over the diagram searching for her name.

"Umm, you aren't coming, Lo."

"What?!" She snapped.

"You're on Max duty all night. Mom volunteered you."

"You're joking right?"

"No..."

Her face fell in complete disappointment.

"Get real, Lauren, you don't want to be stuck at some stuffy charity event."

"I do when everyone else is gonna be there! Let me take Julia's spot."

"You can't. If you're at the gala, then who'll watch Max? Ava and I really need you this time, and Max loves hanging with you."

"Mommmmm!" She yelled as if she were seven years old again.

"Ava invited Luke for the weekend, so you two will pretty much have my house all to yourselves. All night."

"Oohh."

"Max goes to bed at eight."

"Ohh." She smiled.

"What is it, Lauren?" My mom rushed in from the kitchen. "Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm cool. Ari took care of it! Thanks, Mom! Love ya!"

"Gosh! You nearly gave me a heart attack, Lauren! But I love you, too!"

Lauren was giddy with the idea of time alone...completely alone...with Luke.

"No sex or else I will kill you."

"Oh, my God will you shut up! You are so gross. You literally make me puke." She pushed away from the table. "You're stupid, Ari. That is totally none of your business. Like literally, oh, my God...I'm outta here!" Lauren stormed out of the dining room and out on the deck to head for home.

"Yeesh, what's the matter with her?"

"Hey Baby! I missed you, I thought we were working as a team tonight."

"Sorry, I got busy. Did you finish?"

"Nearly."

She took the last stack of place cards and quickly organized them into their pre-determined order. "There, all done. Your mom and Aunt just left, too."

"What do we do with this one?" I asked, holding up Julia's card.

"Oh, my gosh, Julia! I saw her today! I talked to her!" Ava squeaked.

"You talked to her?"

"I did! I'm sorry I can't believe I didn't tell you sooner! My mind is so distracted with all of this."

"When did you talk to her, Ava? I have been trying to reach Julia for weeks!"

"Earlier this afternoon. You were out and Max and I had just pulled into the driveway from the store. Julia was waiting for me at the front of the house. She asked if she could come inside to talk. She came into the house with us but she seemed weird..."

"Weird how?"

"She said she wanted to talk to me, but as soon as we got inside, she said she had to leave. She told me she was sorry, gave me a hug and left. It was all so strange, I highly doubt she comes to the gala."

"How long did she stay?"

"Not even a minute."

"What time was it?" I pulled my cell from my pocket and accessed our security footage from the day.

"Umm, sometime before three. Maybe two thirty?"

"Two thirty."

"Yeah, that's probably right."

At two thirty-two, Ava's car pulled into the driveway. I could see her make the turn from the road and I saw Julia waiting for her by the front gate. Julia walked up to Ava's car, got in and they entered the garage. Julia followed Ava and Max into the house.

"I miss you all so much." The sound kicked in as soon as they entered the house.

"We miss _you_ , Jules. Come on in and we can talk about everything. Rory is a mess."

The alarm was giving a warning beep in the background.

A close up of Ava's pretty face was on the screen, she pulled up the system and gave her verbal code and then the alarm gave one last beep and disengaged.

"Ava, I gotta go." Julia slipped her cell phone into her pocket.

"You just got here. We really need to talk."

"I love you, okay?" Julia threw her arms around Ava's neck. Ava hugged her back, hard. "Ava, I am so sorry."

"Don't leave, Julia."

Jules grabbed Ava's palm and squeezed. "I love you, Ava. Bye!"

She darted back out the garage door and I watched as she slipped through the side door and head toward the beach.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me that happened today, Ava."

"Ari, I am so sorry. I can't believe I forgot...it was so strange."

"That _was_ strange." I rewound the footage beyond the two thirty mark to watch Julia approach the property. She was on foot and waited for Ava at the gate for over an hour...and then left as soon as she got inside the house.

What the hell was she doing?

I watched the video three more times. Julia was visibly nervous. She paced the property while she waited for Ava to arrive home. She fiddled with her cell phone again and again and fidgeted with her bangle bracelet. I zoomed in. The Band-Aide was finally gone. There was a black circle of ink. Julie had been hiding a tattoo. I zoomed in further to see what the tiny tattoo was of and the image turned grainy.

"Ari, I am so sorry, I really cannot believe I didn't tell you." Ava had wet eyes. "I wasn't trying to keep this from you, I promise."

"It's okay, Baby. Are you alright?" My hands encompassed hers and I pressed our foreheads together.

"I'm okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Mmm..."

My lips pressed into the corner of her curvy mouth.

"It's okay that you forgot. I know you have a lot on your mind. Did she say anything out of the ordinary while she rode up in your car? Did she do anything?"

"She was nervous."

"Yeah, I can see that. Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Ava, do you know anything about the Ziloti?"

"Ziloti?"

"Yeah...ever heard of them?"

"Yes. I have."

### Chapter 29

### Disappear

"How come your feet are always so dirty, Max? Where do you walk when I'm not watching you, huh? I've never seen feet this dirty before in my life."

He giggled, sucked in a breath of air and sank below the bubbles in the tub. The washcloth was working overtime as I scrubbed black, charcoal-like smudges away from the bottoms of Max's peachy feet and removed globs of sand and God knows what from between his very small toes.

He was talking again. Ever since Max had said goodbye to Lola Gallo at The Rangers game, he had been back to his normal three-year-old self. It was as if he had never really stopped talking to begin with. Max was carefree again and his cheery talkative self helped ease the strain and stress between Ava and me.

"Alright." I rubbed my knuckles on the top of his sodden, water-logged hair. "Come up for a breath." I pulled the plug when he didn't float to the surface. I was in a hurry to get to Ava. I was in a hurry to talk.

Max's grimace became more and more pinched as the water slowly seeped away and circled down the drain.

"Sorry, Buddy, it's too late tonight to play any longer." I was prepared for Max's post-bath, naked dash through the house and already had the door closed with me blocking it, a towel in my hand and his pajamas sitting on the countertop.

Running the towel through his springy hair, I couldn't help but crack a smile. Ava had attempted to give him a trim a couple of weeks earlier and the makeshift haircut had not gone as she had hoped. Max ended up with a major chunk being snipped right from the top of his head. He looked pretty silly for a number of days. Now, hair all grown back cartoonish and floppy with chocolate brown tufts poking through in all directions, Max looked like...well, like me. An outsider could look at the two of us together and would never question whether or not I was his biological father. It was the Greek in us – dark eyes, dark hair and an olive undertone that only became more evident in the California sun.

I wasn't sure, but I think Max had forgotten Maya, his grandmother. He no longer asked about her. He had stopped mentioning her altogether. His own parents had been killed when he was slightly more than an infant and so new to the world that he had no recollection of them or of the scary night of their deaths. I think he believed Ava and me to be his birth parents. Our family felt so right. He fit into our life so perfectly that I sometimes forget someone else, another set of loving parents, doted on him and kissed him and loved him. I was sad for them. I hope that Ava and I made them proud, if they were watching from above. I hope we were raising Max the way they had planned to.

"There." Yanking his pajama shirt over his pouty lip, I tossed him over my shoulder to ensure he could not escape me. "Time for bed, sweet boy. You can pick one book."

Max contemplated his bookshelf for several minutes before choosing the same title that he had chosen for the last four nights.

"No, no, we can't do that one tonight." Max's pick came from the French shelf. "Your Mama isn't reading to you tonight, she's in the shower, you're stuck with me, Buddy. Pick a book from the English shelf."

" _Daddy_." This really upset him. He liked the French stories better because Ava read them with so much animation, her accent is cute and her language was interesting. It is always fun listening to her speak and watching her eyes sparkle. A deep whine started to rumble from the pit of his stomach, his lip trembled and his eyes started to tear in preparation for a tantrum.

"Okay, okay, I'll try... I have heard Ava read you _La Lune_ enough times, I can maybe swing it."

"K." His eyes dried quickly, Max smiled triumphantly and carried his little story over to his bed and crawled between the sheets.

"If I come across a word I don't, know will you help me?" I asked.

He nodded proudly that I had asked him for assistance and I read what I had memorized from Ava. " _La petite souris a pris une bouchee de la lune_..."

Max snuggled into my arm. He pointed to the pictures the way that Ava does and said the French word and then the English word. "La Lune. Moon."

" _Oui, la lune, c'est the moon."_ I said what Ava always says.

" _Souris."_ He pointed at the tiny mouse on the page.

" _Oui, tres bien. Souris, c'est mouse."_

I read the book twice before Max fell asleep. Easing him onto a pillow, I kissed the top of his head goodnight, flipped off his lamp and closed the door behind me, making my way straight to Ava.

I could always find her in our bedroom. The space was our mecca, our meeting point, the nerve center of our whole home. It is where Ava and I do nearly everything – we eat, work and sleep in there, and, most importantly, we do all of our serious talking in bed. Our first real conversation ever was in her bed. I learned everything about Ava when her head was on a pillow and her smile was sleepy.

We have shared a number of firsts together in our bed, and despite our setbacks and tragedies, Ava and I know that we are blessed people. We count our blessings daily and take nothing for granted. Our home is one of those amazing blessings. It is a piece of art. The space is open and the view from every window is spectacular. Reclaimed wood merges seamlessly with clear glass. We want nothing more than to be at peace in this home but I am willing to leave it all behind and never look back if I can keep my family safe from what is hunting us.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I saw her straight away, as soon as I opened the bedroom door. She was perched in bed, on top of the blankets with dewy eyes. Her hands rested on either side of her cute baby bump. "Are you okay? Is it the baby?" At the very end of September, we were three short weeks away from the baby's due date.

"You are such a good father to him."

My eyes narrowed and Ava's head tilted in the direction of Max's monitor where a small green light glowed from the on switch.

"Ah. You heard _La Lune_ , huh? Did I butcher it?"

"You didn't butcher the story at all. I love hearing the two of you together. It makes me really happy."

I took my place in bed beside her and pressed a kiss to Ava's temple. "We need to talk."

She nodded.

"What do you know about the Ziloti, Ava?"

"I really don't know much about them at all."

"How have you heard of them before? Tell me what you know."

"I found some information about them last year when I was researching everything I could on The Kakos, trying to figure out who No. 7 could be. Andy suggested to me that I look into the Ziloti for clues. They are a group of Kakos cohorts. He passed along a list of names for me to look through. There were about twenty people on the sheet, most from the Chicago area. I told you about it – remember? Dr. Steven Spruce was a Ziloti, he is the man who killed my mother."

"I remember. Do you still have the list?"

"No. I had the paper folded away in the journal and it has gone missing."

"Damn."

"Ari, I researched every name on that list. Most of the Ziloti on it were very old men, a lot of them had already died, some were in prison serving life sentences and a few were living double lives throughout the county and one or two of them had moved on to Europe. They didn't pose a threat to me. None of them did. Believe me, I looked, I checked everything. From what I gathered, Ziloti are the people who sided with The Kakos – so, for instance, my father was a Ziloti and so were Julia's parents. When my father and when Julia's parents tried to sever ties with The Ziloti, they were murdered.

"That's it. That's who is after you. This group, The Ziloti, they want you. You killed The Kakos, their leaders, and now they are after you for revenge."

"I don't think anyone is after me, Ari."

"It's obvious that someone is after you, Ava. Our house was broken in to twice, _Jesus Christ_ , that poor cat! They had our house bugged! They've been watching you."

"If someone wanted me, Ari, then why haven't they tried yet? I am just sitting here – pregnant and defenseless. If someone is trying to choose my fate, I would be the first to know."

"Are there more of them? Are there more members of this group that weren't on the list?"

"I can only assume that there are. Your father provided me with just those twenty names but this is a highly secretive cult-like society of people. We may never know who is really a member and who isn't."

"How did my dad know?"

"Umm... He had a friend who was providing him with the information. Andy never said who that person was that was helping him but the man sent him the names and Andy forwarded the documents to my email."

"Your email!" Do you still have it?"

"No." She chewed a lip. "I deleted everything after the research was done. I didn't know how closely No. 7 was watching me. I thought I was playing things safe that way. I printed the documents and put them in my mother's journal. I didn't think anything would happen to that silly journal."

My cell phone was on the nightstand. Scooping it up, I dialed my dad.

"Ari," he answered, "is everything alright?"

"Yeah, hey, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"What's on your mind?"

"I need you to tell me about The Ziloti. I need to know what you know. I think they may be the ones behind all this. I think they may after Ava."

"Shhh, Ari," he whispered.

"What?"

In a louder voice he went on, "Your mother is looking forward to the gala this weekend. She said she was helping Ava earlier today."

"What?"

"We will see you both this weekend. Give Ava my love..." and then he hung up.

"What did he say?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?" Her face scrunched.

The panic buzzed through me, a shooting wave of nerves like a warning. Something was happening. Something bad and my father knew it.

"Run away with me, Ava."

"Are you okay, Ari?"

"As long as I have you, I am fine. Let's disappear. We have three weeks. We can stay here until the baby comes, but we need to start arranging it now. We can get everything together and no one will know. Once it's safe for you and the baby to travel, we will go."

" _No!_ What are you talking about?"

"We aren't safe here. I don't know what's going on, but I know that we aren't safe."

"What about your family? We can't leave them."

"I love them, but you are my family now. My promises belong to only you. My heart belongs to only you, Max and our baby. You're my nucleus. We need to leave."

"Where will we go?"

"Wherever you would like. Tell me where you would go."

Her eyes narrowed with the furrow in her brow.

"Don't be scared. This doesn't have to be scary. Let's play a game... Just close your eyes and think about where you would go in life if nothing were holding you here. Okay? Just a game..."

"Okay." She nodded and closed her eyes. "Um, first, I would go to Greece."

"Greece?"

"Yeah. Definitely Greece. We would spend a year there in the little house where Maya lived with Max. We could experience the culture first hand and learn the real spoken language. Then we could spend some time on the Isle of Hydra. We would live like the islanders – with no cars, internet or TV. We would get our dry goods delivered to us on the back of a pack mule and you would fish and we would eat your day's catch for dinner every night."

"Good. Then what?"

"I want to go to Spain." Her eyes sparkled with a little excitement. "I want to stare out at the Rocks of Gibraltar from my bedroom window. The Barbary apes will climb up to our balcony and sneak pieces of our breakfast when we aren't looking."

"I like that."

"After Gibralter, we would move along to Croatia. You would teach Max how to sail and we would live on a big, beautiful yacht just off the coast."

"You're afraid of the water, Ava." My lips pecked her forehead.

"I'm not afraid of anything when I'm with you."

"Good."

"We would do the Pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela. We would spend our Christmases in Paris and our New Year's Eves at a quiet cottage in Wales. We'd visit Vienna and watch an Opera in the park and then bring freshly cut roses to Sisi's tomb in Austria. I want to push the baby in a stroller down a patch of The Great Wall of China while you carry Max on your shoulders and I want to take them to the hidden beach in the Marieta Islands in Mexico. We would see the pyramids, the Galapagos Islands and gaze upon the Northern lights. We would do whatever we wanted."

"Let's go, Ava. We can do all of that."

"Our leaving would break your mother's heart. We have a life here. Max is happy here. I am happy here. We are settled, Ari. I love this house, this room, this life. I don't think I can leave it."

"My mother will understand. She ran away from her own family, remember? She understands love and sacrifice better than most. We'll be happy anywhere, Ava, as long we're together. I promised you that I would keep you safe. That is my duty and leaving here is the only thing that we can do to keep you away from harm."

She stared out of the window at the dark beach.

"Ok." Her decision made her sad.

"Greece?"

"Greece," she nodded.

### Chapter 30

### The Gala

The weekend of the _House to Home_ Fundraiser had arrived. Ava had been working tirelessly on the event for nearly a year. She had gone above and beyond my father's expectations by organizing a charity dinner to be held at a prominent gallery in L.A. She persuaded several distinguished photographers to donate some of their work for a silent auction. She had raffle prizes that included a hot air balloon ride, dinner for six at one of L.A.'s hottest new restaurants, and a five thousand dollar shopping spree at _baio_. The list, it seemed, was endless. She booked an MC, a string quartet and also a DJ for later in the evening. The guest list Ava was able to comprise was quite impressive and included socialites, actors, musicians and politicians.

_House to Home_ was founded by Ava's grandfather, Perry Baio, and designed by him to focus on inner-city youth. The charity's resources, both man hours and money, are used for working with the community to provide education and cultural upbringing for kids who are in danger of turning to gangs, prostitution and drug abuse. The center works hard at fixing a severely broken system, removing kids from dangerous settings and putting them into safer, more enriching and stable environments. The night was sure to be entertaining and I was looking forward to going just as much, if not more, than Ava was.

Ava walked down the stairs in our home and a low whistle pushed from my lungs and through my lips.

"You are absolutely stunning."

A simple black cocktail dress clung expertly to her every smooth and perfect curve. Her waves were pinned back and tucked away from her lovely face and bounced down the bend of her spine. Her baby bump was full, round and right there for all to see. There was no hiding the fact that she was very pregnant and due any day.

Ava beamed up at me. "Are you sure this dress is ok?" She moved her hands down to the hem. "It's not too short?"

My gaze eased down her smooth, tan legs. Despite her pregnancy, Ava paired the dress with tall and sleek Christian Louboutins. I wanted nothing more than to rip everything except for those shoes off her body and spend the rest of the evening locked away in our bedroom.

Closing my eyes, I swallowed and smiled. "Of course I am sure. You are beautiful, Ava. How many times do I need to tell you before you believe me?"

She held up the _Harry Winston_ pendant necklace I had given her. "Will you?"

"I'd be honored." I motioned with my finger for her to turn around and I clasped the necklace around her slender neck. Not able to resist, I made a trail of kisses from her ear down to the dip in her shoulder. My fingers cruised down her left arm, taking her hand in mine, I turned her back around and kissed her softly on the lips.

Ava let out an unsteady breath from between her cheeks. "Are you ready to go?" She straightened the knot in my tie and ran the palms of her hands down my chest, smoothing my vest and dinner jacket.

"I'm as ready as I'll ever be."

Max sat at the dining room table with Lauren and Luke. He pushed asparagus around on his plate with his fork.

Ava kissed the top of his head. "Goodbye sweet boy, I love you."

Max crossed his arms over his chest with a _humph_. He was upset to see us go.

"Lauren," Ava started. "He gets one thirty-minute cartoon, nothing more. Read him as many books as he'd like. No sugar and only water after seven, but make sure he potties twice before bed..."

"Okay, Ava, chill. I've already read your booklet on the dos and don'ts of babysitting Max. And I've watched him all summer long; I think Luke and I can handle a couple of hours alone with a two year old. We've got this."

"He's three, Lauren." Ava rolled her eyes at my sister.

"Same difference."

"No parties and do not allow anyone into our home, even if you know the person – no one gets in. Not tonight. Don't let the cat in the house – Ari's allergic – and don't allow Max out by the pool by himself," Ava warned.

"Whatever, we won't."

"And don't make out with each other in our bedroom or I will kill you," I added.

"AH! You are _so_ embarrassing!! Just leave already, Ari. You are so incredibly gross ... ignore my brother, Luke, he's an idiot."

Luke's cheeks had turned pink and he shoved his hands deeply into his pockets.

"Seriously though, Luke, we have cameras everywhere and if I catch you doing anything below the belt with my little sister, I will freaking kill you. Got it?"

"Uh, yeah. I think I've got it."

"Good." I slapped his shoulder. "Have fun."

Ava fiddled with a curl in her hair. She was nervous about leaving Max for the evening. She worried about him falling asleep and having a nightmare. She didn't want him to wake up and not have either of us there to comfort him.

"Please call me, Lauren, if he screams," Ava's tone was somber and serious.

"I will, I promise, Ava."

I kissed Max goodbye and ushered Ava out of the door before she could change her mind about leaving him.

Cruising smoothing through town and onto the highway, I reached across the center console to take her hand and linked Ava's fingers with my own. Bringing our hands to my mouth, I kissed each of her fingertips. Ava was quiet on our drive up to Los Angeles. She was nervous. With her gaze fixed on the blurred lines and colors outside the window, she was lost somewhere deep in the webbing of her intricate mind.

"Tell me what you are thinking." I squeezed her palm.

"Nothing really."

"Don't shut me out, Ava."

"I'm thinking about Greece. I'm nervous about leaving." She started to pick at the polish from her fresh manicure and I stopped her from chipping away at the pretty, light pink color.

"I understand being nervous but don't be. Leaving is safer than staying here. You aren't doing anything alone – we'll be together."

"Maybe we should leave now. We can skip the gala, pick up Max and head out tonight. If it is safer to leave, then I think we should go right away."

"I would, but it's a seventeen-hour flight to Athens and you are nine months pregnant, Ava. No one will let you get on a plane right now. It's not a safe move for the baby. I know we're still two weeks out, but you can go into labor at any time. You need to be by the hospital and by your doctor."

"When we will be able to leave?"

"I don't think you will get a release for travel from your doctor until the baby is a few weeks old at least."

She sighed. She was worried.

"We have enough security at home now that I think we'll be okay until then. Once we have the baby, we can say quiet goodbyes to family without them knowing and we can slip out one night. We won't need to take much with us. I will move some money around and wire funds to a bank overseas. We can use the cash in the safety boxes. There's about thirty thousand stashed away and I can remove it without anyone's knowledge. The cash will get us where we need to go, and get us settled."

"They'll look for us. With all that's happened in the last few months, your parents will call the police. We can't leave them with that much worry. We owe them so much more than that."

"I'll tell my dad, then. He'll understand and he can tell my mother once we're gone. They won't look for us; they'll want to protect our children just as much as we do."

"Okay. As long as we're together."

"Always."

I edged the car towards the entry doors of the gallery and we were promptly greeted by valet. "Remember to breathe. Forget about everything for a while. Tonight is for fun. You're going to raise a ton of cash for _House to Home_ and we can leave whenever you like, or we can shut this place down. It's your call. Just promise to save one dance for me."

"Deal."

Our car doors opened without a moment's hesitation and we climbed out onto the path leading to the gallery doors.

Ava's event was much classier than the fashion show I had dragged her to a couple of months prior. No press gauntlet, blinding flashes, or noisy interviews. There were two hired cameramen in black tuxes positioned at the front entrance, one camera for the society pages for _The Times_ and a second man taking photos for keepsakes that would be given to each couple in a thank you card.

We entered and smiled warmly. Ava took in a shaky breath and I re-linked her fingers with mine. "I promise not to let go of this hand all night." I squeezed her fingers tight. "Let's have fun."

"Ava!" My father grinned from ear to ear. He was obviously pleased with the outcome for the evening. "I can't believe what you've done here. Truly, you amaze me." He was with my mother and Margaux. Each of them kissed Ava's cheek and squeezed her free hand lovingly. My father refused to meet my eye. He hadn't taken any of my calls all week and when I dropped by the house, he was in his study – too busy to talk.

Throughout the past months, Ava had shared all of the details of this event with me, right down to the tableware. One look at the gallery full of round tables covered with white linen cloths, immaculate centerpieces, champaign flutes, and elegant table settings told me that Ava's extreme attention to detail had certainly paid off big time. The space, usually pristine white walls and stone floors, had been completely transformed into a sophisticated and stylish area marked by crystal, soft candle light and smooth white calla lillies.

The gallery was already filled with people mingling and sipping champaign and more supporters trickled steadily through the doorway every few seconds. Members of the string quartet were warming up on their instruments and servers bobbed about the room with platters of hors-d'oeuvres.

"Would you like to look at the photos?" Ava suggested.

"Actually, yes, I would love to."

"You'll never guess what I was able to score for the evening." Ava talked excitedly as she walked towards a wall with a stunning black-and-white photo of an oak tree.

"Is that a..."

"Ansel Adams, yes it is." Ava beamed with twinkling eyes at the rare and beautiful photo. "An art collector in San Francisco is friends with Margaux and he donated the original print for the auction!"

"Wow, Ava. That is fantastic."

"Hmmm," she mused proudly. "I think your dad has his eye on it as a gift for your mother."

"Would you like it?"

She immediately grasped the meaning of my question. "Ari, don't you dare get into a bidding war with your father. Let them have it."

"We'll see."

We continued to walk along the wall and admire the various photographs up for auction. At last, we came to the wall displaying the work from my mother. My mother's photography generally focuses on people. She enjoys catching her subjects un-posed and in the moment, believing that smiles are more genuine when people don't know a camera is on them. I couldn't agree with her more. In this grouping of photos, she chose some of her favorite candid prints of the Greeks in our lives. On display, right before my eyes, was a superb assemblage of my family tree.

"Do you know anyone in these photos?" Ava asked and she pointed to the wall.

"Yes, all of them."

"Really?"

"Mmm." I shook my head and pointed to a magnificent close up shot of my beloved grandmother. "This is my Yaya Elodie, my father's mother, the picture was taken only a few weeks before she passed away." Her skin was tanned and full of deep lined creases. Her eyes were large and midnight brown and her smile was bright and happy.

"I like the name Elodie... we still need a girl name."

"Yes, it is a beautiful name, but my sister will have our heads on a stake in our front yard if we name the baby after Elodie. Lauren called dibs on the name years ago for her own child."

Ava frowned in disappointment.

"This photo, here, is my mother's great aunt Gigi. She used to smoke cigars with the men on Sundays and would drink an entire bottle of Ouzo by herself, then she would pass out drunk on a pool floatie on the deck."

"Gigi?" Ava suppressed a giggle.

"Yes, Gigi, let's not even consider naming our baby after her."

"Deal."

"This here is Julia's mother, Hera, and her father, Troy, before they moved to Europe. This is Elodie's mother, Koren and her mother's sister, Leoni. These men here," I pointed to a photo near the top of the wall, "are Basil and Dirke, my great uncles on my father's side."

I came to the photo of my paternal grandfather. "This is my Papus. This is Cal."

Ava stared wide eyed at the photo, "Oh, Ari! I've never seen a photo of him before! He was so handsome. You look just like him – it's unbelievable how closely you resemble one another."

"I was incredibly close with Cal. My grandfather was truly an inspiring man. Family always came first to him. He opened his home up to anyone in need, anyone who had a hardship or needed help finding a path in life – he was there for all of them. His love was powerful and always unconditional."

"He sounds just like you. How old were you when he passed away?"

"Thirteen." My fingers fidgeted with the leather strap on my watch. "It happened a few months after Julia moved in with us. She took to Cal immediately and found comfort with him, just as everyone did. He had this sort of magnetism that is hard to explain. When he and Elodie died, Julia was devastated, completely grief-stricken. Everything was still so raw for her – and then Cal was gone. My dad didn't speak to anyone for a number of weeks. I remember feeling so much hate. I had never felt hate before until that day. Cal's passing was a very dark time for our family."

"That's so sad. How did he die?"

"The Kakos. They got them both."

Ava sucked in a breath at my words. "What do you mean? Why would they have come for Cal and Elodie?"

"Elodie and Cal were the ones who took your father in and raised him. They also took in Troy, Julia's father. The wound of your father's death was still very raw to them and then after Julia's parents were murdered, Cal was blind with anger. He was so infuriated with The Kakos' evil that he tried to kill one of them out of rage for what they had done. He loved your dad and Troy as he loved his own sons. Cal was unsuccessful at killing a Kakos, of course and eventually, the man caught up to him and ended both my Papus and Yaya's lives. Their home was set on fire, and they were both trapped inside, they weren't able to escape. Their bodies were reduced to ash. Very few of their possessions remained." I gestured to my watch. "This is all I have of him."

Ava cuffed her palm over her mouth and closed her eyes. "Oh, God. I'm so sorry."

"My father has never been the same since. First your dad, then Troy and Hera were murdered right in front of Julia and then his own parents were taken from him, from us all. There was so much loss and sadness and anger. It was after their death that he really started his search for you. Finding you meant a lot to my dad, it meant everything. You consumed him. I used to be so jealous of you, Ava, so resentful of Baby, I probably even hated you – I know Lauren did. My dad loved you so much more than he loved me, or so I felt. I don't think you will ever understand how important you are to us. To my father, finding you was the only thing that mattered to him. And now to me, keeping you safe is all that matters."

I pulled Ava to my chest as a sob broke from her lips.

The sounds of violins, a viola, and a cello rose artfully in the background and the gallery had completely filled up with men in dinner suits and woman in elegant gowns. Everyone wanted a moment of Ava's time and she held my hand firmly while she exchanged pleasantries and thanked each and every person for attending the gala.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," the MC spoke. "If you would kindly take this moment to locate your seats, we would like to make a few announcements before the night's festivities begin."

Ava led me to a table at the front of the room. We sat together, hands still clasped, beside Margaux, my father and mother, and my uncle Thais and my aunt Gianna.

Rory, Nick, August and Collin were all seated together at a table directly behind us.

"The members of the _House to Home_ organization would like to start by saying how very thankful they are to have you with them this evening." The MC spoke smoothly from the podium. "Please enjoy the sights, sounds and tastes before you and remember first to drink up and then give from your heart." The man paused and people laughed. "All of the artwork you see here will be auctioned off at a silent auction this evening. Your bidding number is located on the back of your place card. We also have some truly fantastic raffle prizes, including a romantic hot air balloon ride for two, a private whale watching party aboard the lovely catamaran Calliope, owned by the one and only Andy Alexander, and a fabulous shopping spree right here in sunny California at the always fashionable _baio_. All of the centerpieces at the tables are available for auction as well as the..."

The MC talked on and Ava leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Why didn't you tell me all this beforehand? How come I never knew about your grandparents? Or your father?"

"It's not an easy subject for me. I should have told you, but finding the words is a struggle. That was the first time I think I have ever verbalized what had happened and how I felt about the situation."

"I'm sorry, Ari."

"You killed the man responsible, Ava. It was No. 5." I stroked the slanted, inky line on her tally-marked wrist. You gave him the same fate that he gave them, you don't need to be sorry, Baby. My world is good as long as I have you."

The crowd applauded as the MC announced Margaux and our attention was pulled back in to the evening's affairs. She stood up from the table. She smoothed her long satin gown and then glided up to the podium.

"Good evening. I would just like to say a few short words before the night gets away from me. My husband, Perry, was the love of my life. He came to me over twenty-five years ago with the idea for _House to Home_ and he spent the rest of his life dedicating his time, his passion and his love to the cause of helping children. After Perry passed away, I was...devastated, not only for my own loss but also for _House to Home's_ loss. I truly did not believe that the center would be able to go on without Perry's devotion. As I stand here tonight and I look out at this room full of eager and enthusiastic supporters, I can happily admit to you that I was wrong. When I look into my granddaughter, Ava's eyes, I can see Perry living on through her. It is because of Ava that hope of a better life is igniting in the hearts and souls of more and more inner-city youths each day. On behalf of those children, we thank you, Ava, for your tireless dedication to the cause." Margaux directed her eyes away from the crowd and focused solely on my girl. "I know that Perry is smiling down on you. It is because of you, Ava, that many of us are able to sit here this evening, and on behalf of those people and myself, we thank you."

Margaux's eyes were moist when she walked down from the podium. The entire room applauded and Ava squeezed my hand with as much strength as she could muster. Leaning in towards her, I wiped an errant tear from her cheek and kissed her temple. My father, who was seated next to Ava, wrapped his arm around her shoulder and gave her a gentle squeeze.

Once Margaux was seated, wait staff began to file into the room holding plates of zucchini bread with lavender cream cheese followed by stuffed avocado, layered with rosemary rub and smoked salmon, then a seafood medley on asparagus with ravioli and pesto. The food was savory and exquisite. Wine glasses never had a chance to fully empty and desert followed quickly after the meal with a simple plate of raspberry sorbet on top of a rich and decadent chocolate brownie. The plates were cleared from the tables and the MC announced that the silent auction and the bar were both open and reminded people once again to give from their hearts.

"This baby is treating my bladder like a trampoline," Ava said to me as we all stood up from the table. My dad overheard her and let out a roaring laugh.

"Is he kicking?" My dad asked. He believed with absolute certainty that the baby was a boy.

"Yes, that brownie woke him up and really got him dancing," Ava giggled.

My dad's eyes lit up – he was the only one in the family who hadn't felt the baby kick yet.

"Go ahead." Ava smiled indulgently, knowing that Andy was too polite to ask if he could touch her belly. He jumped at the opportunity to feel his grandbaby move about and placed both of his hands on either side of Ava's bump. Ava un-locked our fingers and put her palms on top of his hands. "Right here!" she said adjusting his position on her belly, "Do you feel it?"

Andy grinned with joy. "Aggie, you've gotta feel this." And my mom joined in on the action, followed shortly after by Margaux, turning Ava into something of an animal at a petting zoo.

"Okay, okay." Ava wiggled away from their touch. "I'm in need the ladies' room." She turned to me and wrapped her fingers back around mine and I walked with her to the corridor that housed the restrooms. Aside from a couple of partygoers talking on their cell phones, the hall was quiet.

"I'll be just a minute. Will you wait for me?"

I shook my head incredulously at Ava. "You know I will wait right here for you, or... I could even join you. We could make use of a locked door and create a fun memory." I winked.

"You wouldn't dare."

"Ava," I said patiently. "Seeing you in those shoes is killing me, I would jump at an opportunity to have you all to myself behind a locked door, so don't tempt me anymore than you already are."

"Maybe later – I really have to pee! Here, hold my clutch?" She pressed her small clutch into my hand and disappeared into the restroom.

Excited, murmured conversation trickled in echoes down the hall from the gallery. A faint but steady click of high heels started in the distance and grew louder as someone approached. I turned to see who was coming my way.

"Hey, Boss! Enjoying yourself?"

"Fauna!"

She came up to me holding a glass of wine.

"Hey there! I was hoping to get a chance to talk with you. I was happy to see your name on the guest list, Fauna. How are you doing?"

"Better now."

My eyebrow rose upward at her and she smiled a bit too lasciviously.

"Are you interested in any of the pieces tonight?" I asked in a quick change of subject.

"I have my eye on something." Fauna took a drink of her wine.

"Me too." I thought of Ava.

"I like this tux." Fauna placed her palm on my lapel and I casually took a step back, out of her reach. She took a step forward leaving me trapped with my back to the wall.

"Thank you, Ava hand-picked it herself."

"Lucky girl. Does she lay all your clothes out for you?"

I took the glass of wine from Fauna's hand. "I think you may have had a bit too much to drink tonight. Ava will be out in just a moment, we can walk you back to the bar and grab a water."

She laughed, moved her hand to my upper arm, and squeezed. Fauna pushed up on her toes to my eye level. "When are you going to figure things out, Ari?" She purred her question in my ear.

"I beg your pardon?"

"You married the wrong woman. Everyone knows that. Why don't you?"

"You are entirely out of line, Fauna." I warned.

"Figure out who I am, Ari, and we will see which one of us is out of line. A promise is a promise for all of eternity. It is my turn."

I froze.

She pressed her finger to my lips. "This mouth is mine." Her finger slid quickly down my neck all the way to my groin. I smashed my back into the stone wall and she only came in closer. "This is mine." She cupped her palm around me and squeezed me through my suit pants. "Not hers."

"There is no Persephone." I whispered.

"Wrong, Adonis." She sang, then smiled and cupped me harder. Her hot breath was on my check, the smell of merlot was heavy on her tongue.

"It's not true. You can't exist – I know that."

"What did you tell her before... a spark? More like a flame, actually. I am a phoenix and I have risen from the ash and I am here to collect what was promised to me."

"It's too late, I can't keep that promise, I won't. My past does not define me."

"Wrong again. I'm the boss now and I'll be coming for you..."

The faucet from the ladies' room turned on and in just a moment Ava would find me with another woman pressed to my body, her hands on my pants.

"You. It's you. You've been listening to us. You broke into our house. You had the fucking key code, you deceitful bitch. God, you knew everything. I trusted you, Fauna."

The lock turned with a heavy thunk.

"That was one of your many mistakes. You are mine, Ari – you know that now, and if you run from me, I will kill her. She will bleed a lot more than that stupid cat." She let me go, released her hands from my body, turned around and walked away, her heels clicking with each step, echoing down the hall like a time bomb ready to detonate.

"Ready?"

I turned to Ava's bright smiling face.

"Uh, hold on a second." I had to tell her.

"You ok?" Ava asked, her voice so kind, soft and warm.

"Um..."

"Oh, my God! Ari!" She nearly screamed.

"What, what is it?" I yelled back, the panic in me flowing so hot and fast I could not breathe.

Ava cupped her arm under her belly.

"It's the baby."

### Chapter 31

### Practice

The cut-rate, generic wall clock in the hospital room ticked so slowly I wanted to rip it from its pathetic nail and smash it to pieces on the floor at my feet.

"Mrs. Alexander?"

"Jesus! It's about bloody freakin' time!" I shot up out of the seat at Ava's bedside and both of the women, Ava and the on-call doctor, shot me nasty looks.

"How are you feeling?" The doctor ignored me and focused on her patient.

"I had a couple of really painful and sharp cramps on one side of my stomach and now they just seemed to have gone away."

"Okay, that kind of thing is normal, Ava. What you are experiencing is called practice contractions. I don't think you're in labor, but since you're here, I'm going to do a pelvic exam so we can see if you are dilated and we can double check to make sure your water hasn't broken."

"Alright." She said to the doctor and then looked over to me. "Ari, you'll need to step out into the hall for a minute or two, the doctor needs to do an exam."

"Like hell, Ava! I'm not leaving you!"

"Ari." Her cheeks blushed.

"You can forget about it, I'm not leaving your side." I softened as much as I could in my panicky state and tucked a stray wave of hair back under her pearly hairpin. "I can't. You are my wife and this is my child, I need to be in here with you. Please."

Her head nodded in a small agreeing bob. "He's fine to stay." She told the doctor.

"You might feel a pinch."

Ava's face screwed tightly in a knot and I kept my eyes focused on hers.

"Your water has not broken and you are only dilated to about one centimeter. You're not in labor so I am going to send you home tonight. You can take some Tylenol for any discomfort you may feel. If your water does break, come back to the hospital right away or if you start having regular contractions that are about five minutes apart, that's when the real labor begins. I know you're ready for the baby to be here, but you could still be looking at another few weeks, or heck, it could be tomorrow – it's up to the baby to decide, so try to get plenty of rest and be sure to pack an overnight bag for the hospital stay. Luck favors the prepared."

"Okay." Ava's voice was small and tired. It was late and we had missed the end of the gala – no dancing, no door prizes and now no baby. She was disappointed.

My stomach, head, heart, limbs, lungs – all of them buzzed out of control with the abundance of gushing adrenaline.

"Let's go, Baby."

In the car, Ava curled up in the front seat under my suit jacket, pressed her cheek against the cool window glass and fell asleep, leaving me with nothing to do but think.

Fauna had been my assistant for a year and yet I had had no idea she was anyone other than the girl who answered my phone and ran my errands. Unassuming, sometimes a little dumb but always reliable, she had been granted access to nearly everything in my life – I had trusted her. All she had to do was ask me for something, anything, and I never once questioned her. If she rattled off an excuse for my pin number, I provided it to her without the blink of an eye. She had my schedule and our security codes, and she had used my credit cards on several occasions. I had given her access to our bank accounts and the keys to my house and cars. She had had ample opportunities to makes copies of whatever she wanted. She had made my life so _easy,_ and now the thought of her made me nauseous. I pulled over on the highway twice to puke in the dirty gravel.

"Hey, Baby." I gave Ava a gentle nudge when we pulled into the garage. "We're home now. Let me take you upstairs, I'll get you in bed."

"I put you in a bad mood and ruined your night. It was just a silly cramp, I'm sorry." She pouted and unbuckled her seatbelt.

"You did no such thing," I said, smiling. Ava babbles when she's tired and I have always found it endearing. She looked up at me and smiled back.

Inside, I disabled the alarm and walked slowly behind her through the house. Lauren was asleep on the couch with Luke sleeping on the floor beside her. The end credits from a movie ran up the TV. I shut it off and kissed my sister's forehead.

"Hey, you're home." She stretched.

"Yeah, sorry we're later than I said we would be. But we're home now, you two are welcome to stay or you can head next door if you want to. Just let me know so I can set the alarm."

"We'll just stay. I'm too tired to walk all the way home."

"Sure, take the guest room if you'd like. How was Max?"

"He was really good all night. He's asleep in his bed."

"Thanks, Lo. Love you."

"Love you, too." She rolled her face into a couch pillow and curled back into a ball.

Ava sleepily made her way up the stairs. Her waves were still pinned back perfectly and she still looked amazing in her black dress but she had given up on the heels back at the hospital. They dangled loosely from her fingertips.

"Let me take care of you." I said and removed Ava's hair pins, placing each one in a small glass dish on her dressing table. Reaching around her, I unzipped her dress. My fingers traced the line down her spine to the small of her back. She stepped out of the dress and stood before me wearing only a pair of lace panties.

"Do you want me to slip these back on?" She talked softly in my ear and held up her red bottomed Luboutins.

"I would love that, but do you know what fantasy I would like to see even more right now?"

"What?" Her voice was so soft.

"You..."

"Mmm..."

"In my bed."

"Yeah?"

"Asleep."

"Oh." Her shoulders dropped but she was so tired, she was relieved. I tugged one of my undershirts over her head and replaced her lace panties with comfy cotton.

"Let me put you to bed. I just want to hold you, Ava. I don't ever want to let you go."

Ava curled in bedside me and I watched her sleep until my tears clouded my eyes and hard, forceful sobs caused my body to shake and tremble. I prayed.

### Chapter 32

### October Seventh

"Join us."

A gasp escaped my strained lungs and leapt from my mouth. My eyes shot open from sleep. Muted, grey, early-morning light touched the edge of our wall. The air was still and quiet, the gulls had not even begun to squawk. My exposed skin was cold and dotted with goose bumps. I was alone but I knew where to find her.

I looked down the hallway from our bedroom door and spotted her. Standing in her underwear and a pair of my argyle dress socks slouched around her ankles, her shoulder propped her up against the frame of the doorway in the new nursery, looking in at what will be our baby's room. Ava's belly had grown so large in the last few weeks that my undershirts barley graced the bottom of her protruding belly. I watched her for a moment, unable to take my eyes off my beautiful wife, pregnant with my baby. She had given me all I had ever wanted; her love and a family to share it with.

"Hey, Baby." I snuck down the hall and wrapped my arms around her, kissing her cheek.

"Mmm." She smiled sweetly and nuzzled her head into my kiss. "Hi."

"What are you doing up so early?"

"I'm too anxious to sleep. I just want to meet our baby and bring him home with us - it's all I can think about. This weekend was such a disappointment ... I was so sure I was in labor and now I don't feel like it's ever going to happen."

We gazed in at the nursery together. Creamy ivory and soft grey covered the walls. An oversized but somehow perfect chandelier gleamed from the ceiling. The dark hardwood floor was softened by a thick, shaggy and chic area rug creating a sweet but elegant ambience. I could envision our little brown-haired child sitting there to play one day. A plush stuffed lamb, placed with care, sat on the cozy cushion of the rocking chair, eagerly awaiting the arrival of its new best friend. A narrow bookcase in the corner had been pre-filled with books that were waiting to be read and reread. In time we would discover which of the stories they held would become our baby's favorite. Finally, a magnificent cradle sat right in the center of the room where soon, I would be placing a baby down for rest. All of our careful preparation was in vain; our baby would never play here, likely would never sleep or be read to in this warm space. We were leaving. The feeling was heavy and clouded what should have been the happiest time of our life. I could not bring myself to tell Ava about Fauna...Persephone. Ava deserved so much more than this life. I would not allow Fauna to bring any more darkness to what should be a perfect little blessing. Get Ava, Max and the baby safely out of the country and settled into a new life and then I would tell her. Only then. I was planning our exodus from California, Dana Point, our home, family – everything – as quickly as I could. We would leave one night with our empty, dirty dinner plates still in the sink, our belongings all left behind, our closets still full and no hint of where we had gone other than one small, detail-less note left for my father to find in his study. This note would be the only reassurance to them that we were safe. It was the best I could offer them.

"I'm anxious, too. But I am going to miss this." My fingers stretched across Ava's bare stomach. "I love seeing you pregnant with my child. You have given me everything in life that I have ever dreamed of, Ava. I am going to miss this baby bump, these round rosy cheeks of yours and your glowing, expectant mother smile."

She smiled that smile and my heart danced.

"I am going to miss sharing chocolate sundaes with you and candy bars, baklava, my mom's Greek cookies and your sweet tea, ordering numbered meals from a fast food menu..."

"You're making me hungry." She moaned.

"I can't wait to see our child in your arms, Ava. Raise a family with you."

"I can't wait either... but we still need a name, Ari. This could be a girl."

We had chosen Cal for a boy but we had yet to choose a girl's name. "What do you want to name her? You pick. Whatever feels right to you will be right for me, too."

Ava stared at the baby's space, the crib, books, and toys then shrugged, "I don't know. I never thought this would be so hard. This is more than just a name. It's our baby. I wish I knew more about my family and where I come from. You know so much about your ancestors. I want to name her after someone special. I don't want to just pick something out of thin air like my mother did."

"What do you mean "out of thin air?"

"Ava Zae - my name has no meaning. My mother just picked a name from the beginning of the alphabet and then the end."

My eyebrow pulled upwards in total disbelief. "That is simply untrue, Ava."

"Oh? And how could you possibly know?"

"Because I just know, that's how. You are named after your father's great-grandmother and great, great, great-grandmother." I pointed to the birds flying around on her tattooed arm. "Ava means 'like a bird' and your great-great grandmother Ava was a Greek, a Moirai and she led Greeks who were being pursued by The Kakos out of Greece and into safe homes in America, throughout Europe, and Australia. She helped my dad's ancestors come over here to America, to safety. She was a strong and brilliant woman just like you.

"Now Zae, your middle name, comes from Zadie and the name means princess. Your great, great, great grandmother Zadie sacrificed her life for an entire Greek village."

Ava shifted to look over at me and I continued to talk.

"The Kakos were hunting Zadie, The Fate from Atropos, and they came to a village where she had been hiding. The villagers hid her there for some time, keeping her safe. When the men arrived, word had already come to the village and Zadie had fled; she was no longer there. The villagers lied to the men, saying they had not seen her, and no one would say where she was. The Kakos were angry. They were very violent men and sent a message to Zadie by setting every home in the village on fire. They ripped people from their beds and pulled husbands away from their wives, babies away from their mothers. They tortured and beat them but no one would talk. So many died for her, it was a massacre. The Kakos would not rest until Zadie surrendered.

"Zadie learned of what was happening at the village and she went to the people by horseback as quickly as she could. She rode three days through the mountains without stopping for food or rest. Upon her arrival, she surrendered herself to The Kakos for the villagers' lives. They took her, tied her to a stake at the top of the hillside and stoned her to death. The village still grieves her passing. All of their doors on their houses are painted black in mourning, each year they have a celebration in her name and they have an effigy of their Princess Zadie at the very top of the hillside where she perished. She is forever there looking down on them and keeping them safe. So Ava, to say your name has no meaning is an abomination, it is blasphemy. You are named after two of the greatest women to have lived before you. Your name should give you great honor."

"Zadie," Ava said simply.

"Zadie?"

"That's what I want to name our baby if she is a girl. Zadie."

"Then I want to name her Zadie, too."

"Zadie..." She tasted the name on her tongue and searched for a middle name.

"Zadie Adrianne?" I suggested, giving homage to Ava's father.

"No. Zadie Agatha Eleni."

"My mom and grandmother."

"Yes. After three very strong and brilliant women."

"I couldn't possibly love that name any more than I do."

We looked in at the baby's room with a mix of emotions both sweet and sour.

Ava turned back to me. "I wish you could stay home with us today."

"Why? Are you feeling ok?" I asked. "Do you think you might go into labor?"

"No, no... it's not that, I just have a strange feeling, that's all. I can't explain it. I just want you near me." She batted her lashes at herself. "Crazy hormones."

"I won't be gone long, I am running into town to do a wire transfer, and pull out the cash from the lock boxes. I am going to get us some burner phones so we won't be traced and I need to run to my office just real quick." I needed to get my hands on that binder that Fauna had put together for Lirik. I needed to know all the information she had on me and Ava. "Call me if something changes..."

She nodded. "I will."

I rolled the hem of Ava's over-stretched shirt between my fingertips. "You know, Max is still sleeping and I have a few hours before I need go..."

Ava eased into my arms and I kissed the corners of her mouth, then her nose, her cheeks, her forehead. My scruffy face scratched and tickled her smooth skin. I moved my lips to her ear and she tilted her head, allowing my tongue to travel its way down her neck. We slipped back down the hall towards our bedroom and I shut the door tightly behind us.

Our early morning spent together was beautiful. One more amazing memory to add to my list. Making love with Ava pulls emotions from me that I never knew existed. The words "I love you," when whispered from her pink lips, cause my heart to stop, my body to tingle and my breath to hitch in my chest. Her words are always my undoing.

****

My fingers traced along the curvy line from Ava's pink mouth. We stood at the door that leads to the garage. "Thank you for this morning." I said into her ear and her cheeks flushed. "Please call me if the baby decides to come early."

"I will, of course. But he won't. I love you, Ari. Be safe."

I did not want to let her go. "I love you, Baby."

Ava turned and walked towards Max who was seated at the table eating his breakfast.

"Love you, sweet boy!" I said to him one last time and he blew me a sticky fingered kiss.

I left the house, double clicked the unlock button on my car keys and opened the door to my car. My heart stopped and then I couldn't help but give in to a relieved smile.

"Good God, Julie. How'd you get in here?"

Julia sat in the passenger seat of my car, looking forward, and did not speak a word. She was ashen, pale and old makeup was streaked with tear lines on her face.

"Jules? You alright? Will you finally talk to me and tell me what is going on with you? We can fix this. Rory loves you so much. Whatever you are doing, it won't matter to him, he only wants you back."

Her chest expanded and when she exhaled, her eyes fell closed, her bottom lip trembled and a tear slipped down her cheek.

"Jules?" I slid into my seat and in one quick second, my whole world changed.

Out of nowhere, a strong arm hooked around my face, slamming my head back against the headrest, pinning me to the seat. My mouth and nose were covered. Instinctively, I started to fight and pull away, my body jerked forward and my fist flew behind me and connected with the man's skull. I punched him again and again. I thrashed and jerked free from his vise-like grasp but a cold, hard gun barrel was already pressed firmly in to my temple, a silent warning telling me to stay still. My throat constricted and oxygen fled my lungs, abandoning me in my moment of need. Blood rushed through my veins like a deep ocean current and my heart beat in triple time.

"Shhh." A deep, throaty voice cautioned into my ear. "If you make one more move like that, you're dead. Do you understand?"

I swallowed and nodded my head yes.

"Ok, good." His lips were on my ear, his assured tenor warned me that he meant business. "Listen to me very carefully. You have two choices. I can kill you right now and then go inside your house and kill that bitch wife of yours and that shitty kid or you can do exactly what I say and no one will get hurt."

I nodded.

"Open your garage door and drive. The GPS is programmed; if you take one wrong turn or make any fast movements, you're dead."

I stole a glance at Julia. Her eyes were pleading with me to cooperate.

Fighting the tremble in my hand, I started my engine, opened my garage door and drove away, turning exactly when and where I was told. Fear lodged itself in the pit of my stomach as the directions took me south away from Dana Point. I stared straight ahead at the roadway but my mind raced trying desperately to piece together what was happening.

"Julie... Julie, what is going on? What do they want?" I whispered to keep from screaming.

"Ari." Her eyes never stopped looking straight ahead. "Just _please_. Please do what they say. Ok? You will be fine if you just do what they tell you to do."

"Tell me what the hell is going on!" I screamed at her and the gun barrel was shoved deeper into the side of my head.

"Please calm down." Her voice broke.

"I cannot calm down, Julia! What is this?"

"I would do anything for you. Ok? Remember that. Look at me." She turned to face me and I met her eyes.

"I would do anything for you. I'm on your side. I love you, Ari. I love Ava. We will get through this. Just please trust me. Put your trust in _us_." She turned her hand over in her lap, palm side up and brushed the diamond bangle bracelet up her arm with her shirt sleeve and exposed her small, inky black tattoo. An X circled with an O was stamped on her pale flesh.

My jaw dropped and in the same instant she quickly ripped the bracelet back in place, hiding the permanent ink. Her eyes screamed at me to shut up.

The GPS had me turn onto a road that leads to a beachside national park. I was acutely aware of two other people in the car -- the man with the gun...and Fauna. I could smell her. I could feel her glee.

"Pull over." The man said and moved the gun from my temple and pressed it into the back of my head. One wrong move and this would be an execution and Ava and Max would be next. I eased my car over to the side of a narrow, abandoned, weather-eroded seaside road that was nestled on a jagged cliff side.

"Shut off the engine."

I nodded and turned the key.

"What do you want?"

"You know what _I_ want." Fauna leaned forward from the back seat and put her lips on my ear, she sucked on my ear lobe, causing my stomach to heave with disgust. I pulled back and she clamped her teeth down. "You are mine and I want you, Ari. And if you want your wife, kid and baby to live, you'll give me exactly what I want whenever I want it."

I slammed my head into Fauna's temple and pulled back out of the arm of the man who held my face. I heard the click from the hammer of the gun. Julia screamed, "Ari! Just do it! Join them!" The man holding the gun reached across the back seat with his free hand and jerked Julia's head back by a fist full of her hair.

"Shut your fucking little mouth, you stupid bitch." He cursed into her ear.

"Ari, just do it!" She screamed at me. "Don't fight it. You'll all die."

He threw her face forward, smashing her nose into the dashboard of my car before she could say another word. She went limp on impact and a trickle of blood seeped out from her nose and dark red droplets stained the carpeted floorboard.

Ziloti. Fauna was one of them and so was Julia.

"Right now, as I speak, I have my people surrounding your home and watching your wife. You cannot run from us. If you think your little tricks worked, you are wrong." He picked Julia's cell phone up from the arm rest and played a recording of Ava's voice saying our security code, with that simple recording, they had access to the house. Jules had tricked Ava. My heart dropped into my stomach. They had access to her.

"One more wrong move and we will go back to your house and you can watch as I cut that baby out of your wife, kill it, kill her and then kill Max. I will do it. I really _want_ to kill them."

I closed my eyes and surrendered.

"Do I have your attention now?"

"Yes."

"Step out of the car. Walk."

Led at gunpoint, I was directed down a tapered path across the cliff. The waves fifty feet below were wild and beat the rocks mercilessly, the sea spray hissed with the incoming tide. Small stones, dislodged by our footprints, tumbled dramatically down to sea. The wind howled and threw tossed sand into my face and eyes. At the end of the path was a wind-carved, stone cavern, and there I came face to face with them. The Ziloti. I was face to face with my nightmare and my fear was excruciatingly intense.

At last, I looked up into the eyes of the group of men and women who stood before me. There were so many, too many. People who had betrayed not just me, but Ava and Max as well. They had fooled us all. Tricked us into believing that they stood for good and that they loved us and followed us on our path to righteousness. In the sea of faces, robed with hooded cloaks, I saw my loved ones, people I have known and trusted my whole life, who had turned, who had sided with The Kakos. The Ziloti stood before me, an arrangement of evil doers, of extremists, radicals. People who lived and died in the name of The Kakos. And amongst them were my friends and my family. My Aunt Gianna refused to meet my eyes, Margaux and Lirik's hands were grasped together. Detective Jason Scott stood tall. Cameron Gallo's gaze burned into my skin. August was there too and lastly my father. They stared at me.

Another man, the leader, approached me and the guy behind me, the one with the gun, kicked the backs of my knees, at the same time pulling my head up to look into the leader's eyes.

"Ari Cal Alexander," he spoke, "do you swear to follow us in the name of The Kakos? To live the life of a believer, to live in their words, their truths?"

If I said yes, I would die. If I said no, I would die. If I jumped, I would die. Which words would keep my wife and children safe?

The man pulled harder at my scalp. I opened my mouth, ashamed and afraid of the words that poured past my lips: "Yes, I swear." I would do anything for her.

"Adonis, do you swear to fulfill your duty as a descendant and honor the promises made before you in the name of Zeus?"

"I swear." I would do anything for them.

"If you fight me... us, you will die, your wife will die. If you run or hide we will find you and you will die the most horrible death. Ari, descendant of Adonis, if you dishonor your promise to Persephone, you all die."

I revolted at the idea of joining them, at making the mistake that so many of our ancestors had before me, but I knew this man would follow through on his word. Not only would I die, but Ava and our innocent children would suffer horrible, terrifying deaths. In truth, I had no choice; I would do anything for Ava, even if it meant siding with the members of The Kakos. Even if it meant leaving her for the woman I had been promised to. I will betray Ava but only to save her. Only for love.

"Nothing in your life belongs to you anymore. Nothing is private. Your wealth is now our wealth. You belong to us. If anyone finds out you are one of us, that person will die, but more than anything, _she_ will die – those Fates will die."

I nodded solemnly.

"We aren't bad, Ari. We will open your eyes to a world of power you never knew existed. I think you'll be happy with your choice." I stared blankly in to the man's cold, dead eyes.

"He's yours, Fauna." The man with the gun grunted and he let go of his grip after pulling me to my feet. Fauna came to my side with a sleazy, whorish smile and pressed her lips against mine. She moved her tongue across my mouth and when I wouldn't open my lips, she bit down, hard on the scar Ava had left on my bottom lip the night we married. Instinctively, I yanked my head back at the sting and ripping of my flesh and her teeth came with me, tearing open my scar. Fauna's wet tongue invaded my mouth along with the metallic, bitter taste of my blood.

My cell phone rang out from my pocket. I knew it was Ava; I could feel it in my bones.

"It's my wife calling." My eyes pleaded for permission. "She'll know something is wrong if I don't answer her call."

I was directed by the leader, "Answer the call on speaker phone. Say as little as possible."

I slid my finger across the screen and placed Ava on speaker phone for all to hear.

"Ava," I closed my eyes when I spoke.

"Ari! It's time! My water broke!"

I looked at the leader and he nodded, allowing me to go to her.

I looked at my father, whom I had trusted so devoutly, and I saw his eyes light up with emotion at the news of Ava in labor. I looked away from him in disgust.

"I am on my way, Ava."

### Chapter 33

### Push

Her breathy cries, her moans and pain-filled screams echoed in the corridors, reverberated in my veins and caused an ache in my bones. She needed me.

"Push, Ava," they demanded from her, the doctor and nurses. "Push, you have to push now."

"No." She cried, "no," she begged.

"Ava!" My gaze darted down the long hallway. Shooting through the hospital, nurses dressed in baggy, mint green and mauvey-pink scrubs were a blur to me. "Ava!" I yelled. "I'm here."

The door thrust open with my weight and I spilled into the delivery room. Hospital staff surrounded her, covered in scrubs, white gloves, caps and masks. Their disapproving, judgmental gaze turned to me and then quickly back to Ava.

"Oh, God!" She breathed and I rushed to her side, "God." Her face pinched and her knuckles whitened.

"I'm here." I offered her my hand and her grip tightened around my fingers.

"You're here." Her glassy, wet, frightened eyes looked up to mine.

"I'm here."

"Alright, Ava," Doctor Patel talked to her from the seat at the bottom of the bed, "your husband has arrived now. You have to push. This baby won't wait any longer. It's time."

"Are you alright? Please tell me you are okay." My shaky fingers brushed wayward strands of pretty hair from her damp forehead.

"Ari," she smiled at me despite her pain, "I'm okay, so far everything is fine. You are here now. We get to hold our baby today. We get to see ten little fingers and ten tiny toes, a little nose and two bitty ears. It is all coming true. Our life is going to be perfect."

My heavy eyelids slammed shut. I bit back the bile that rose up my chest and nodded. She was wrong, of course. I had just agreed to the unthinkable. My life was no longer my own. Perfect was no longer in the realm of the possible.

"Ava." I held her face in my hands. "Ava, I love you. Please, please promise me that you will never forget how much I love you." Frantic, my chest caving in, my voice quaking with every word, I begged her.

"I won't... not ever." She was the one who soothed me. "I love you, Ari."

" _Ava_ , push!"

"I'm here. I'll never leave you. I am here. You can push. You can do this."

She is my whole world. She is my reason for life. I could not take my eyes away from Ava. Her grip tightened, her face pinched, her gaze was forward, focused and determined despite her fear. Moisture that flooded her eyes broke way and began to stream down her cheeks and I searched her for a way to help.

Pushes and tears.

I stood right there at her side and our baby came into the world. Tiny cries filled my ears and I pulled my eyes away from Ava and took my first glimpse at our tiny miracle.

"Oh, my God." I breathed. "Ava!" I cheered. "Oh, my God." I cried. "She's here. Ava, it's a girl. Oh, God... Ava, you gave me a little girl! She's so beautiful. She's here. Zadie is here."

"It's a girl? It's Zadie?" Breathless and tired, her voice rasped, giving away her exhaustion.

"Yes, she's here. She's so beautiful."

"October Seventh, 12:02 pm. Seven pounds, seven ounces, twenty one inches," A nurse announced and then wrapped our baby in the receiving blanket Ava had brought from home. The one that smelled like us. The nurse carefully placed little Zadie in my arms and I stared down at her in amazement. With wide-open, brilliant green eyes, a head full of wild, dark hair, soft pink and full lips, she was lovely and my heart swelled for her.

"She's perfect. See?" I passed Zadie in to her mother's arms and looked on at Ava. She stared at our daughter for the first time.

"Oh, my goodness." With the baby cradled and swaddled, Ava's words trickled from her trembling lips in a quiet litany. Her eyes were wide with wonderment and she smiled down at our little girl. "Oh, my goodness. I have never felt a love like this before."

This love, this tiny, wide-eyed creation was ours. She left us speechless and filled our hearts and souls with this amazingly powerful emotion. We stared for ages without speaking. Nurses checked and rechecked, the sun moved over in the sky but to us, time stood still.

****

"Thank you." My lips pressed a peck to the top of Ava's head and she blinked to look up at me.

A crinkle in her nose matched the crease in the middle of her forehead. The line deepened, wiggled and then knitted. Her hand left its warm place on the baby and slowly, she pointed at me, bringing her finger closer until it rested upon the corner of my lip. "What's this? I didn't do that."

My fingers darted to my mouth, brushing her hand aside and the wide pad of my salty thumb wiped at the tender bite mark that Fauna had left on my mouth. I looked down at the now dried blood that smeared across the pad of my finger.

I gaped. Unsure. My mouth opened before I could formulate any rational words. My throat went dry and my breath stuck sharply in my lungs. I looked away from her, up towards the corner of the room, unable to meet her eye. "Car accident. On the way here... I was, um, rear-ended." I gagged on venomous stomach acid. "I must have bitten my lip in the accident. I didn't realize it... I was too worried about getting to you in time."

"Are you alright? Is everything okay?"

"Of course. Everything is going to be just fine."

We weren't fine. This was just the beginning of the end. I told the first of many deceitful, ugly lies to my wife and she believed me so easily.

### About The Author

Cat Mann is an Illinois author who writes teen and adult romance. She is happily married to a genius of a man and together they are raising two beautiful daughters. With her dog at her side, Cat obsessives over French music, witty films and lengthy novels. Cat's books have been listed on numerous Amazon bestseller lists, including the Amazon Top 100, Literature & Fiction Fantasy Based Novels, as well as being a top contender in Mythology & Fairy Tales. To find out more about Cat's projects and get dates on upcoming releases, find her on Facebook <https://www.facebook.com/authorcat.mann> and follow her blog, <http://authorcatmannblog.blogspot.com/>.

