

Victoria's Family

## Copyright © 2016 by Kimberly J Muse-Holliday

## Published by Kimberly J Muse-Holliday at Smashwords

## Cover Photo and Design by Kimberly J Muse-Holliday

All Scripture quotations in this book are taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

Except for certain well-established place names, all names of persons and places mentioned in this novel are fictional.

# Chapter 1

January 1902

Meadows, Missouri

"Where to, ma'am?" boomed the short, slender man behind the ticket counter.

Sweat started to trickle down her spine despite the cold as she stared wide-eyed at the ticket clerk. His voice betrayed his appearance. Never had she imagined such a petite gentleman would have such a voice. She did not know where she wanted to go since she was at least a head shorter than everyone else and could never read beyond the top two lines on the ticket board. Victoria closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to settle the churning in her stomach. This was for the best. It was time to leave no matter where her destination.

"Where to, ma'am?" asked the ticket clerk with a calm but even louder voice.

"Whatever is leaving now," replied Victoria as she shoved a few bills into his hands hoping it was enough. She needed to save her money for food and lodging until she could find work. Fanning herself with her hand as she waited did nothing to extinguish the crimson she felt in her cheeks. It is just the crowd; she told herself. I am just not used to being around so many people.

"Ma'am, your ticket. They are boarding now. Everything will be just fine. Most ladies are a bit nervous the first time they travel alone. I hope you enjoy your trip."

Her head jerked when she realized the ticket clerk had spoken. He was smiling at her displaying a row of straight, but coffee stained teeth, while holding out her ticket and change. She smiled back, accepted the offered items, stuffed everything into her handbag and then left without a second glance. It was necessary to leave and she hoped the train would not be crowded. From what she had overheard, many people passed the time talking with the person sitting next to them and she needed time to think.

"Where to, sir?"

"Same place as the lady," Joseph declared as he watched her flee.

"I did not realize you were together."

Joseph pondered before replying. It appeared she was running from something or someone. He was just ready to leave. There was nothing keeping him in Meadows, Missouri.

"We are cousins." He hoped he sounded believable not wanting to cause any suspicion. "She insisted on picking our vacation destination and tends to do things on a whim."

"Here you go, sir."

Joseph took the ticket and sprinted to catch the train. If he were lucky, he would be able to sit next to her to wherever they were headed. Once he reached the train platform, he dropped his bags and rested his hands on his knees to catch his breath. With head held low, he scanned the crowd for the young woman. Moments later someone brushed his right shoulder as they passed while he was looking the other way. Turning quickly to see whom it was, a smile beamed across his face when he caught sight of her. He remained where he was and watched as she boarded.

With the assistance of a porter, Victoria stepped onto the train with shaky legs. This was her first time riding the train and she scanned her surroundings, taking it all in. Rows of oak wooden benches divided by a narrow center aisle with the windows trimmed in faded burgundy curtains were not what she had expected. Luxurious was how the boarders at her mother's house had described the train. About midway down, she found a seat and hoped to blend in. No one would have to know what she had just done. She would start over wherever this train was taking her. Nothing mattered anymore. Her father was gone, her husband, and now her daughter. It did not matter what role she played in any of it. They were gone. Everything was wonderful until Daddy died.

Joseph waited to board until several people had boarded after the young lady. He studied the passengers as he searched down each row. While most people were wearing a hat, the young woman in question was not. This made it quicker to scan each row. Not that he needed the extra time; boarding was slow due to several passengers choosing the front section. After passing several families and businessmen traveling alone, he spotted her.

"Excuse me, ma'am. I would like to sit by the window."

Victoria was grateful for the distraction. She did not like where her thoughts were just going. It served no purpose to dwell on the passing of her father. Without saying a word, she stood and moved to the aisle to let the young man by. She patiently watched as he struggled to place the bags between the seats. He must have planned a long trip; she however had only the clothes she was wearing and her handbag. Whatever compelled her to get on the boat and travel north this morning was beyond her comprehension?

After taking his seat, he tilted his head up to glimpse the young lady. He waited a moment, noticing her distant stare and blank expression before encroaching into her thoughts. "Ma'am, you can have your seat back. I finally fit my bags. I hope you do not mind that they hang over into your area a little."

"Your bags are fine. Would it bother you if I prop my feet on them? The seat is a bit high."

"Not at all," Joseph replied with a big grin. She wanted to relax a little. That was a good sign. He hoped he could relax as well.

She angled her legs towards him after slipping off her shoes and placed her stocking feet on top of the bag. The gentleman appeared pleasant enough. He did have an adorable smile, definitely desirable to look at. Lawrence was always so clean-cut. This gentleman had shaggy light brown hair with a full beard providing a ruggedly handsome appearance. His broad shoulders filled the seat and his muscular legs lightly grazed her own. Chiding herself for enjoying his looks, she closed her eyes, and tried to relax.

"Where are you traveling to?" asked the handsome gentleman before Victoria could fall asleep.

"Wherever this train plans to take me," Victoria replied dryly, not bothering to open her eyes. She did not have to answer to anyone, not her husband, her mother, or God. Not anymore.

"I am sorry if I was too personal. I have not even introduced myself. My name is Joseph Holmes. It is a pleasure to meet you. Miss."

"Mrs. Victoria Winslow," replied Victoria with an emphasis on Mrs. Why did he have to sit next to me? The last thing I want is to talk.

"Sorry to have bothered you, Mrs. Winslow. I was just trying to be amiable."

Joseph adjusted in his seat to better gaze out the window with his head resting on the wall. She had failed to answer his question and he was not ready to reveal that he had no idea where he was traveling. Thankful for the window seat, he fixed his eyes far out in the distance. Being alone among others was something he had adjusted to, years ago. The outdoors would give him solace just as it always had. While he admired the beauty of the earth, he never enjoyed being a sheep farmer. It was his loving parents that told him it was time for him to go out on his own and not to come back until he could bring a wife home. They believed his dedication to the family farm had kept him from finding work elsewhere. His mother had politely informed him after his twenty-fifth birthday that it was time he started dating and the only solution was for him to leave home to find someone. A mere three weeks had passed and he missed his family terribly. He hoped to be back for Christmas. Easter would be noteworthy, but Joseph was being realistic, he was giving himself a year.

"Tickets, please," stated the clerk in a business tone as he walked down the aisle. Victoria sighed when he reached her row. She had been anxiously waiting for him. Once they checked all the tickets, they would be on their way. Victoria removed her ticket from her lap and handed it to the clerk. He punched the ticket and handed the ticket back to her brushing her fingers slightly.

"Hope you have a pleasant journey, ma'am," replied the clerk with a soft husky voice.

She had not overheard him tell anyone else to have a pleasant journey, and she blushed when replying. "Thank you, sir."

"Sir, your ticket, please." The clerk waited patiently, but Joseph was not paying attention.

"Sir, your ticket. We would like to get moving." Still, Joseph did not respond.

Victoria taped Joseph on the shoulder. He shrugged as if to shoo away a fly. She peered back at the clerk. With his lips pursed and eyebrows angled down, his appearance was icy. Wanting his gentle manner to return, she thought for a moment of what she could do to get Joseph's attention quickly. A wicked smile spread across her face and she proceeded to punch Joseph in the shoulder to get his attention. The clerk's warm smile returned, and a slight chuckle escaped his lips.

"Ouch! What did you do that for? I said I was sorry." Joseph with eyes wide and lips slightly parted briskly rubbed his right arm.

"The clerk is asking for your ticket," replied Victoria with a gleam in her eye. She was definitely amused by his expression yet astonished over her boldness.

Joseph repeatedly patted his chest, trying to remember where he placed the ticket. Upon feeling it in his left inner jacket pocket, he quickly pulled the ticket out and handed it to the clerk. "Sorry sir. I did not mean to delay us."

"Apology accepted, sir. Enjoy your trip." He returned the punched ticket back to Joseph with a smile just starting to show.

The clerk continued to the next row as the smile on his face grew.

"Why did you hit me so hard?" Joseph asked as he continued to rub his shoulder while gazing out the window. He could sense her eyes on him, but if he looked he just might laugh. Her moods rapidly changed from being anxious and angry too lively and full of fun.

"Sorry, I did tap first. You just shrugged." Victoria leaned in, leaving barely an inch between them, trying to get him to look. She was certain he was exaggerating about his arm hurting since she did not have the strength to cause any real pain. That was something she would have to work on if she were going to be on her own.

With eyes fixed out the window, he waited to see how long it would take Mrs. Winslow to look away. After what felt like ten minutes under the rhythmic movement of the train, he turned and faced her. Their lips almost touched but neither one moved.

Seconds later she scrambled back, breaking the impulse to kiss him. What had come over her?

"Where are we traveling to?" asked Joseph ignoring her odd behavior.

"Since when are the two of us together?" She guessed it did not matter to him if she were married, not that she was with Lawrence anymore.

"Since I told the ticket clerk we were cousins," replied Joseph nervously. Why did he have to say we? He was always saying the wrong thing and it was likely the reason he never made it to a first date.

"Cousins. Why did you tell the ticket clerk we were cousins?" Victoria's voice was just above a whisper but filled with anger.

"He thought we were together."

"Why did he think that?" replied Victoria not caring who heard this time.

"I told him I was going to the same place as you."

Victoria leaned away from Joseph with that reply and bumped the passenger next to her.

"Sorry, sir." The man to her right did not seem to mind. He smiled warmly and nodded his head in reply to her apology.

"Are you following me? Did my mother put you up to this?" whispered Victoria as she stared at Joseph.

"Yes and no."

"Which one is it?" Victoria asked between clenched teeth as her nails dug into the palms of her hands, trying with all her might not to start screaming.

"Yes, I am following you, in a way, and no, your mother did not put me up to this. I do not know your mother." Why did he think it was a good idea to follow her?

"Why are you following me?" Victoria craned her neck to look around for another seat. She relaxed back after only a minute when she realized she was stuck with this handsome but crazy gentleman next to her.

"You looked as though you were running away from something. I thought I would tag along."

Victoria bristled. "Why do you think I am running away?"

"You seemed to be in a hurry and did not care where you were going," replied Joseph with compassion as he gazed deeply into her eyes. He could get used to drinking in those eyes every day.

Victoria for a moment could not look away. Could this man actually be concerned about her? Victoria braced herself as the train jostled, and her composure returned.

"What if I am running away? What is it to you?"

Joseph silently giggled and ignored her gruff reply. He could tell she needed someone to care for her and he planned to be just that person.

"Can I join you?"

He watched her eyes grow wide, and then rapidly she shook her head. Her thoughts began to race, and she closed her eyes tightly trying to understand. Why on earth would he want to join me? Why would anyone want anything to do with me after what I have done?

"No, you cannot join me. Do you think I just move in with anyone?"

"I said nothing about moving in together. I do wish you would reconsider. Hold off on a decision until we get to our destination." Joseph surprised himself with the calmness of his voice. He could not quell the butterflies churning in his stomach nor the trembling of his right thigh and hoped she did not notice.

She cocked her head to the left and pondered his reply. He would need to learn to master his emotions better since the seat vibrating proved he was anything but calm. Filled with compassion, she thought about resting her hand on the top of his thigh to calm him. A deep blush rushed into her cheeks and she quickly looked away at the realization of how forward that would be.

"Why?" replied Victoria breathlessly.

"We are stuck together until we get there. Might as well make the best of it."

"Fine. Where are we headed anyway? I would like to know how long I am stuck with you."

Victoria pushed Joseph in a teasing manner.

"What was that for?" replied Joseph as he pushed back, knocking Victoria into the gentlemen next to her. The man adjusted in his seat and grumbled.

"I am sorry, sir. It will not happen again."

"Sorry about that. I will keep my hands to myself from now on."

Joseph pulled out his ticket and read the location out loud.

"Mobile."

"What is Mobile?" Victoria had already forgotten what they were talking about. She was too busy trying to understand this new rush of feelings. She could not recollect if she were ever this playful with a man. Was she actually flirting?

"Mobile is where we are headed."

"Where is Mobile located?"

"You do not remember your studies." Joseph teased.

"No, I do not. Just tell me." Victoria could not focus on anything presently, much less something she learned years ago. She was not in the mood to be teased and turned away from him. He could be so exasperating at times.

"It is down south near the water and should be much warmer. I have not lived in the south before. Have you?"

"I grew up in Creekville. It is in the south." Her tone was soft with remembrance.

"I believe Mobile is east of Creekville. Why were you so far north?"

"I just was. I would rather not talk about it." He is so nosey. I need to get him to talk about himself and take the focus off me. "Why were you in Meadows?"

"It is just where I ended up." Joseph stated matter of fact.

"What does that mean?"

"I would rather not talk about why. I go wherever I feel led. I was led to follow you on the train."

"Why me? I am nobody special."

"You are a child of God. You are someone special in his eyes." Joseph turned in his seat to study Victoria's reaction. Would he have the opportunity to witness? Deep breath. Do not push her.

"Are you a preacher?"

"No, not a preacher. I am a Christian. No matter what, God is always watching over us."

"I would prefer that you not talk about God." This was definitely going to be a long train ride. The last thing she wanted was a sermon. She knew she was a sinner and did not want anyone grinding in that fact.

"Can I have a reason?" Just maybe she will provide a glimpse of her situation. It was difficult to help not knowing what was going on.

"I do not desire to talk about it." Victoria's voice almost betrayed her with the sadness that was overwhelming her. Tears welled up in her eyes, but did not spill over.

"OK. I will not bring it up for now. What do you plan to do once we get to Mobile?" He would be patient with her. Not wanting to talk about God implied she once had some knowledge of the creator. Something had happened in her life to make her feel unworthy. Joseph continued to gaze at Victoria in hopes that she would raise those lovely hazel eyes. There was much mystery within them. She, however, kept her eyes diverted away from him.

"I do not know. I guess I will look for a job and a place to stay." Victoria did not know what else to say. She had not planned that far ahead.

"If you could do anything, what career would you choose?" This should be a safe topic. Everyone has dreams.

"I never thought about it. I have always had someone who provided for me."

"You want to take care of yourself," replied Joseph. He should have realized this sooner. It was becoming more common. Women wanted their own voice, their own say in their lives.

"I guess so. I just left. I did not plan anything." It was failing to plan that got her into the mess she was in. If she had taken just a little bit of time, she would likely still be living with her mother and single. No, Lawrence loved her and was thrilled to marry her.

"We can figure it out together if you would like." Joseph truly hoped that he could find a way for her to open up, at least to God, so she could heal.

"How would I be taking care of myself if I am with you? You are being ridiculous. I do not even know you." Her voice continued to rise with each sentence.

"We will be cousins. We will each have our separate lives, but be there to help each other when needed. I do not know about you, but I do not have any family down south. It will be an adjustment for me."

"Can we stop talking for now? I would like to think about what you have said." She was on the verge of tears and wanted space. However, confined to an over full car she knew she would have to wait since she did not trust her legs to take a walk.

"Sure. I am going to the food car to get a light snack. Would you like anything?" Joseph needed to get away. She was a mixture of emotions and he needed some distance from the turmoil.

"I do not have the funds to cover the extras. I will wait until we get there."

"Suit yourself."

Joseph stood and squeezed past Victoria and the gentleman by the aisle. He got halfway down the car when he remembered how they inconvenienced the man and walked back to see whether he could offer anything.

"Excuse me, sir. I am sorry we bothered you earlier. I would like to make amends. May I buy you a cup of coffee?"

"That is nice of you to offer, maybe later."

### ///

Besides the attendant, there was only one other person in the car and he sat at the back drinking coffee and reading a newspaper. A flutter, as the man turned the page, was the only noise. He would have the quiet that he needed, at least for a little while.

The attendant broke through the near silence. "What can I get for you, sir?"

Joseph turned and walked to the counter. "Not sure. My funds are a bit limited. Do you have anything discounted?"

"Just a few muffins. They are a little stale."

"I will take two. Can you wrap one up for me so I can eat it later?"

"Certainly."

After paying for his food, Joseph sat in a booth halfway down the car and next to the window. He prayed silently as he slowly ate the dry muffin with a glass of water since, he did not want to drink the coffee as burnt as it had smelled. Lord, what am I to do? I am not used to being away from my family. Victoria seems warm, but I do wonder what kind of trouble she is in. Knowing you are always there for me is the only thing that gets me through. My parents do not want me to return until I am married. How long is it supposed to take to find a job, settle down, meet a woman, fall in love, marry, and then go home? It has been three weeks and I am no closer than when I first left. Help me, Lord.

Joseph did not know how long he sat in the food car looking out the window praying. He had not noticed that his plate and glass had been cleared from the table. Time seemed to stand still with the silence and the view. The once nearly silent food car became suddenly deafening as patrons filled every space, prompting Joseph to return to his seat in the travel car. Maybe a nap would help pass the time, he thought, as he made his way back. Shock showed on Joseph's face when he returned to find the gentleman who had sat next to the aisle was now by the window and Joseph's bags had been moved. Not knowing what else to do Joseph took the seat next to the aisle and placed his feet on top of the bags. Victoria was still using them to prop her own feet up.

"Why is he in my seat?" Joseph asked softly.

"He wanted to take a nap and did not want you to wake him when you returned. What took you so long?" Victoria's voice showed a bit of concern.

"I lost track of time. I may have dozed off. I brought back a muffin for us to share later." Joseph smiled showing his dimples.

"I cannot take your food." Victoria's sharp tone had returned and she looked away.

"Why not?" Joseph was puzzled. She had seemed concerned about him, and now she was hostile again.

"I did not pay for it." Victoria was determined not to owe anyone anything. She would only accept what she had earned and was determined to not be in debt to a man again.

"I did not ask you to. Besides, you may not even like it. It was discounted since it was stale."

Victoria turned back to face Joseph. "Why did you buy stale muffins? You look as though you could afford fresh ones."

Again, Joseph noticed the concern in her tone. "I am trying to make the money stretch. The train ticket was more than I planned. There is no way to know how long it will take for me to find a job once we get to Mobile."

"If you could not afford the ticket, why did you buy it?"

"I was led to follow you." Joseph leaned in closer to Victoria. He could tell she was not being forthcoming with information.

Victoria decided not to lean away this time and glared at Joseph. "By whom?"

"God," replied Joseph in a soft whisper with their faces just inches apart.

"Not him again. I asked you not to bring him up." Victoria turned her head away and closed her eyes. Why does he insist on bringing up God?

"I only answered your question," replied Joseph with sorrow.

"Fine," replied Victoria with a huff. "Why did you feel led to follow me?"

"I just get these feelings at times. I do not know why. I just make the best of it and hope I am following God's will."

She did not want to talk about God. Despite his sad eyes and sorrowful tone, he would not break her resolve. Controlling her emotions had become a daily challenge the past year and she just did not have the energy to continue.

"What kind of work do you plan to do?" asked Victoria.

"I do not know." Joseph adjusted in his seat stretching slightly.

"What would you like to do?" Victoria turned to look at him again.

"I do not know." Joseph kept his eyes averted.

"If you do not know, then why did you ask me what I was going to do?" Victoria was not getting anywhere with his short answers. He was so eager to have her talk, and now he barely answered. Silence lingered between them, causing Victoria to realize she had not been any more forthcoming with her information and if she pressed him, he might try to steer the conversation back to God or insist on her sharing.

Joseph studied Victoria's dark hazel eyes before replying. "Friendly conversation. I was trying to get to know you."

Unable to resist his pleading eyes, Victoria replied with confidence. "Fine, there is not much to tell. I am a woman who took the first train out of town."

"I know that much. Tell me something I do not know."

"You first."

"I am the youngest of four boys. My family is in the sheep farming business." Joseph's thoughts started to drift. He closed his eyes, trying to remember all the details of his family home. Fear washed over him knowing that the details were already starting to fade. Would he remember anything by the time he returned?

Victoria was watching Joseph intently. He seemed sad. However, she still wanted to keep the focus on him.

"Why did you not stay?"

"I would rather not talk about it, your turn. Tell me something about yourself." He too, did not want the conversation focused on him. He hoped she would not press too much. It may be best to minimize the conversation after all.

"I am an only child. My father passed away over a year ago, and my mother runs a boarding house."

"Did you help your mother run the boarding house?"

"We all did, even Father." Victoria's voice softened at the mentioning of her father. She missed him so much. It was hard to believe that it had been over a year since she had seen him laughing and smiling at the dinner table.

"You must have met many interesting people."

"Not really." Victoria turned her face away.

Joseph lightly touched her jaw with his finger, and she turned her face back toward him. He was not expecting that reply. How could she have not met many people? She was a lovely attractive woman with flawless skin and wavy blond hair that looked golden when the light reflected off it. "Why not?" asked Joseph softly, leaning in close.

"Mother wanted to protect me. I spent most of my time in the kitchen." Her tone became angry, and her thoughts were taking over. She sheltered me too much. It is all her fault. What am I thinking? I am the only one who is to blame. It is my sins.

Joseph waited until the anger faded from her face before replying. "You must be a good cook."

Victoria looked away from Joseph. The only thing she loved about Lawrence was how well they worked together in the kitchen and now, that was in the past.

Joseph placed his hand on top of hers, and she turned and gazed into his eyes. He could see she was sad, but there was not a single tear.

"I am looking for a cook," replied the man sitting next to Victoria.

Victoria and Joseph both jumped at the man's reply. She turned to face the man causing Joseph to have to remove his hand from hers.

"Excuse, me." Victoria stared at the gentleman next to her. She could not believe he was listening to everything they were saying. If she had known he was awake, she would have talked softer. He had not even opened his eyes to look at her.

"I am looking for a cook. You need a job. Come work for me." The gentleman sat patiently with eyes closed waiting for a reply. After waiting what seemed like five minutes, Victoria replied timidly.

"I do not know. I have never worked for pay as a cook before."

The gentleman adjusted in his seat and opened his eyes to look at Victoria.

"What kind of work have you done?"

"I helped my mother in the kitchen at the boarding house." Should she say anything else? Before she left home, she had spent most days preparing the meals. She had done other things to survive, but should she say.

The gentleman raised his right eyebrow as he thought on her reply.

"What have you done since then?" He gently asked sensing her reluctance.

"Nothing worth talking about." Victoria's defenses were on high alert. She would not tell anyone the other work she had done to put food on the table and a roof over her head.

"If you are going to work for me, I would like to know your work history." The gentleman replied with more force to his voice, but still with a tender look.

"I have not decided that I will work for you." Victoria did not know what to think. His words indicated that he was trying to get her to confess, but his actions and gentle tone said otherwise. Sometimes she could read people by how they acted, not that she always got it right, but it helped keep her safe in the past.

"I do not even know whether it is a good offer." Victoria decided to play along with the banter. She was not sure yet what to think about this gentleman.

"Do you normally refuse good offers?" The gentleman asked with a laugh in his voice.

"Just answer the man's question," replied Joseph. She positively was not the wife God would want for him. Who would marry such a stubborn, emotional woman?

"Fine. I have been a maid at a hotel."

"Any other work."

"No." She squeezed her eyes after her reply. The reply did not have the confidence she needed to be convincing.

"Are you sure? I think you are holding back."

Victoria kept her eyes closed and took a deep breath. He would not surrender unless she told him something. What can I say that will be the truth without confessing? She took several slow, deep breaths before replying.

"I am ashamed," Victoria softly replied.

"Did you earn an honest wage?"

"Yes."

"Were you on time and worked hard?"

"Yes."

"Then that is all I need to know. I have a decent size house. I will pay you a moderate wage." The gentleman smiled with fulfillment.

Victoria sat up straight in her chair with eyes wide. "Moderate! I thought you said you had a good offer." The man had pushed her into saying more than she wanted, and he was only offering a moderate wage. How could he?

Joseph playfully pushed Victoria's shoulder. "Let the man finish."

Victoria leaned back against the bench, but remained tense. The gentleman did not seem bothered by her response.

"The rest of your pay will be room and board. No working on Sundays. I will expect you to attend services on Sunday."

"What if I do not want to attend services?" This was the last thing that she wanted, a weekly reminder that she was a sinner and on her own. God had abandoned her. Where was he when she was in trouble?

"You are one stubborn lady. Just take the job. What do you have to lose? You take the first train out of town not even knowing where you are going. You get a wonderful, generous job offer and a place to stay, and you are going to turn it down because you do not want to go to church."

"Joseph, do not get so worked up. I will take the job. I will go to church. Whatever will make the two of you happy." She did not have a choice in the matter, and she was tired of fighting. Joseph was right. At least she would be safe.

"I do not want you to accept the job just to make someone else happy. It needs to be something you are happy with."

Victoria released some of the tension in her shoulders and looked towards the gentleman.

"I will be happy to have a job and a place to stay. It is better than not knowing what I will have when we get to Mobile. By the way, what is your name?"

"Otis Rockford."

"Thank you, Mr. Rockford for the job."

"And you, sir. What work have you done?"

"Not much." Joseph regretted the response immediately after it was spoken. Mr. Rockford gave him a disappointing look.

"How have you supported yourself?"

"I worked on the family farm and lived in the family house."

"What kind of farm?"

"Sheep," was Joseph's short reply. He said it with more hatred than he intended to.

"I assume you did not care for the work."

"You assume correctly, Mr. Rockford."

"What did you do in your spare time?"

"Read. I enjoy learning about all the new discoveries. Have you heard about the 'Fly-Killer'? He had read about it, but had not seen one in action. It would have come in handy on the farm."

"I had not heard about that one. You will have to tell me about it later. Did you help any with the business side of the farm?"

"I helped with a little bit of everything. I kept the books occasionally, worked with our vendors and even helped with the animals."

"Good balance of skills. You are hired."

This time it was Joseph with shock reflected on his face.

"For what?"

"Just accept the job, Joseph," replied Victoria in a teasing voice as she gently pushed him.

Joseph pushed back causing Victoria to bump Mr. Rockford.

"Sorry, Mr. Rockford."

"I plan to accept, Victoria. I just want to know what I will be doing."

"Running a home."

"An orphanage!" There was no way he would be enveloped by children all day. He just did not have the patience for them.

"Not exactly. This will be a home for adults with special needs."

"I am not sure I am following."

"Not everyone is born with the same skills and agility as you and me. Some have trouble talking, walking, or maintaining a household. I want these special people to have the independence they crave and still have the help that they need."

"Sounds very rewarding. Does the offer include a place to live?" This could work. Maybe this was the calling God had for him.

"You can stay with me until the place is constructed. Then, I would like you to move in for a minimum of one year."

"Why would I need to live there?" It seems Mr. Rockford always had something to add that made you doubt that you should accept. He had never been around those types of people before, much less lived among them.

"You will see why when the time comes."

# Chapter 2

"It is so warm here," complained Joseph as he stumpled off the train after their long trip. He unbuttoned the heavy coat he had just put on and squinted from the glare as he took in the sights around him. It was a gloomy and desolate looking place before him with barren trees and brown grass. Getting used to this dreary place would take some time. Winter in the North brought a bit of magic to everything, and he just assumed Mobile would be full of beauty despite knowing there would be no snow. When he left Meadows, there was beautiful white snow covering the ground and dazzling icicles draped from the houses. A mosquito began buzzing around his head, disrupting his musing.

"Honestly, Joseph. What did you think? We are in the South." Victoria took in a deep refreshing breath. It felt so good to breathe in the moist salty air. To be in the South again felt wonderful. She forgot how much she missed the earthen tones. How she hated all that snow; it made such a mess all over her clean floors.

"I did not know what to expect. I have never been to the South." Joseph continued to clumsily remove his coat.

"You did not read about it in your fancy books?" Victoria's tone was dry but with a hint of humor. Joseph was a bit easy to tease, and she was starting to enjoy the banter. It will be interesting getting to know him better while they worked for Mr. Rockford.

"It is not the same as experiencing it. The air is so moist." Joseph wiped his sticky hands on his trousers; however, it did little good to relieve him of the clammy feeling.

"You will get used to it, or you will live elsewhere. It is part of everyday life down here." She smiled as she looked up at him. At least she was more comfortable here. Her hands and feet never adjusted to the cold.

"She is correct, Joseph. You may find after a time that you prefer the South to the dry North where you are from. Follow me. If anyone asks, you are my niece and nephew." Mr. Rockford wasted no time in moving away from the train depot, leaving the smoke from the engine and the noise of the people behind him.

"Do you have a niece and nephew?" asked Victoria as she hurried to keep pace.

"I do, but they never come to visit." Mr. Rockford briefly paused in his step, and a mournful look covered his face.

"Why not?"

"That will be a discussion for another day. Do you have all your bags?"

"Yes, sir," replied Victoria and Joseph in unison. Victoria and Joseph looked at each other and then shrugged.

Mr. Rockford smiled.

"Victoria, I do have some clothes that we purchased for the last cook. I believe they will fit you. If not, I will purchase some items for you."

"Thank you, Mr. Rockford. It is greatly appreciated."

"Will anyone question why your niece is cooking for you?" asked Joseph. It was common for his cousin to work on the farm when they visited; however, it was not the same in this case. It certainly seemed odd to have a family member who is visiting prepare the meals.

"No. Everyone will expect it. I have worked very hard to acquire my few possessions and expect my family to share in the workload."

"I guess that is why your family does not visit." Joseph regretted the words as soon as he spoke them. He hung his head down in shame knowing better than to talk to anyone like that.

"Joseph, do not pry. That is a discussion for another time." Mr. Rockford picked up his pace.

"Sorry, sir." Joseph felt sorry for Mr. Rockford. Every holiday he spent time with his Aunt and Uncle. He practically grew up with his cousin Henry. They were together daily during the summer months, and Joseph accompanied his Aunt and Uncle when they went on family vacations each year.

"How are we getting to your house, Mr. Rockford?" It had been a long and emotional day for her, and just this short walk from the train platform to the depot was making her weary.

"I thought we would walk." Mr. Rockford said with delight.

"What about our bags?" Joseph asked nervously. He positively did not want to carry them the whole way.

"We will have them delivered. You cannot take in the wonderful sights if you ride in an automobile. Besides, we all need to get to know each other better. We will be living in the same house together for the next few years."

"Years. You think I am going to stay for years?" Victoria grabbed Mr. Rockford's arm, and he stopped walking. She looked into his eyes to see if he was serious. There was not a bit of deception. What had she agreed to?

"Yes, Victoria. It is time you stopped running and settled down."

Mr. Rockford entered the train depot and instructed Joseph to turn his bags over to the clerk. The clerk was accustomed to having Mr. Rockford's bags delivered and ensured Joseph the bags would be waiting for them when they arrived at the house. After settling the payment, Mr. Rockford walked back outside and headed south. Victoria and Joseph briefly looked at each other before running to catch up.

"How soon will the home be ready for me to move into?" Joseph asked once he had reached Mr. Rockford's side. Joseph was also concerned that Mr. Rockford expected him to be with him for years. He had a wife to find so he could move back home. He could not imagine getting used to this sticky air.

"I do not know."

"What does that mean? I do not want to be stuck here forever."

"Forever is a long time, Joseph. Do not worry. You will see your family soon. The home is still in the planning stage. I have an idea where I would like it built. We will pass by there on the way home."

"Planning stage?" Joseph was outraged and barely able to keep his voice low.

"Yes, planning stage." Mr. Rockford gave Joseph an earnest look.

"I do not know whether I can commit that much time."

"You are not putting your life on hold. It is just beginning."

"I would like to be able to go home by Christmas." Desperation laced Joseph's voice.

"I will not stop you."

"I wanted to move back home."

"Then why did you leave?" Mr. Rockford's tone was more sarcastic than he intended.

"I would rather not talk about it."

"He would not tell me either. It seems that we all have our secrets." Victoria stated earnestly.

"Yes, we do, dear. But, nothing is a secret from the Almighty."

"Am I going to have to listen to God talk all the time?" His solemn reply enraged her. Her eyes narrowed as she glared at him.

"Only when appropriate. Please call me Uncle Rock. Joseph, despite the reason for leaving home, you should go back for Christmas, Easter, even, if you want. Family is important. Victoria, you should go with him."

"Why?" She was certainly cut off guard with his last statement.

"He has a large family. How else will you get to know the man? When you marry, you will have to learn to deal with each other's families."

"Married," exclaimed Victoria and Joseph in unison.

"Is that so far fetched?" Mr. Rockford held back a chuckle and smiled.

"Yes. Why would I want to marry this stubborn woman?" Joseph was flushed.

"Maybe you like the challenge," chuckled Mr. Rockford.

"Stubborn. You are just as stubborn, Joseph Holmes." How dare he call her stubborn.

"Maybe so, Mrs. Victoria Winslow." His temper was starting to match hers.

"Mrs., that could be a problem. I did not realize you were already married." He paused only briefly and then picked up his pace.

"I guess you slept through that part. You were eavesdropping on everything else."

"It was not as if you were trying to keep your conversation quiet. Besides, if I had not been listening, I would not have known you needed a job and a place to stay. I am sorry for your loss. Since you are no longer wearing black, I will assume you are through the mourning period. I will not bring it up again, Mrs. Winslow."

Victoria did not know how to reply. She was not a widow. She was still married to Lawrence as far as she knew. She had never bothered to inquire if he had filed for a divorce.

"I guess it really is unimportant that you were married. God would want a young woman like you to find love again."

"I agree with Uncle Rock, Victoria. We will not pry about your first husband. I do not plan to be your second, but I will support your decision to find someone else." He was regretting his earlier remarks. To be widowed so young must have been devastating. That explains why she is so emotional.

"What makes either of you think I want to find another husband? And stop bringing God up. He has nothing to do with me." What had she gotten herself into?

The three walked in silence for a while. They were definitely hitting a nerve with Victoria and her faith. She was running away from something. Joseph thought he should look more into the death of her husband. His parents had ways of finding things out. He would write to them tonight. They would be happy that he would be settled somewhere for a while. At least they would be able to keep in touch with each other.

Mr. Rockford stopped and looked longingly out in the distance, his eyes resting on the cresting waves of the water. A few boats could be seen in the distance gliding along. He then continued his walk home. Joseph and Victoria followed closely behind.

"This is the place, Joseph." Mr. Rockford stated with pride, not pausing in the least.

"The place?" Joseph had no idea what Mr. Rockford was talking about.

"The place for the home for the feeble-minded."

"How much of the area will we need?"

"Most of it."

"It will be a large place." Joseph looked around at the vast open area.

"I plan to have a moderate house in the middle and smaller homes surrounding it."

"Why so many? Would it not be better if they were together in one home?"

"I do not think so. I want them to have some independence. There is no reason to just shut them up somewhere. I know that is how others do it. I plan to do things differently."

"How would I ever manage to run such a large place?" Joseph continued looking around wide-eyed. He was bewildered that a stranger thought him capable of such an enormous task.

"The residents that will live here will work if they are able, and I will also hire others. Joseph, you will be the one to oversee the property."

"That is a big responsibility. Why are you entrusting that responsibility to me?"

"I feel you are the one. It will not be an easy task. The laws are not very favorable for the feeble-minded. We need to make a difference."

"Does the law allow you to have a place like this?" Joseph was looking for a way out. He was apprehensive. He did not want to do anything illegal.

"Yes, since it is privately owned. Do not worry, Joseph. I have consulted with my lawyer on this project several times."

"What does he think about it?" Although Mr. Rockford spoke with such confidence, Joseph was still skeptical.

"He thinks I am crazy to spend my money on a home for the feeble-minded since there are so many institutions already built. I will not make any profit from it."

"Then why do it? What will happen to the people when you run out of money?"

"Hopefully, that will not happen. I also plan to get others to help support the home financially."

"I hope you get the funds, Uncle Rock." Victoria was exhilarated by the prospect. Mr. Rockford's enthusiasm was lifting her spirits. She would be siding with him in this discussion. Joseph was overly nervous.

"Thank you, Victoria. Your concern, Joseph, is valid. All I can hope for is others will step up to care for these wonderful people. Have either of you spent time with the feeble-minded?"

"No, sir," replied Victoria and Joseph in unison.

"You two have a knack for responding simultaneously. Nice to know you are both listening."

Mr. Rockford again stopped to take in the view. Joseph stopped also, but Victoria tripped over his foot and nearly fell to the ground. She had not been watching where she was going. Joseph's gentle hands held onto Victoria's waist just a bit longer than necessary. He was just trying to steady her, but the feel of her slender waist intrigued him. Emotions began to stir within him that he had not realized was possible. How can he be so moved by such a stubborn widowed woman?

"Joseph, I can stand on my own now. Thank you for catching me."

Victoria too felt a sudden attraction to Joseph. But, what was she to do. She was married and even if Lawrence had gone through with the divorce, she was still a liar, just another sin to add to her list. Just another reason God would not want her.

"Victoria, please have Joseph escort you the rest of the way. I do not want you falling and hurting yourself."

"I would rather you escort me, Uncle Rock."

"Nonsense, child. Joseph is more than capable. I on the other hand am a bit off in my step. We both do not want to fall."

Joseph offered his arm to Victoria. She looked at Joseph and then again at Uncle Rock. The expression on Uncle Rock's face showed he did not wish to be challenged on this request. Victoria gently laid her hand into the crook of Joseph's arm.

"Uncle Rock, if you are trying to play match maker it will not work. Besides, we are supposed to be pretending we are your niece and nephew."

"I have changed my mind about that. Victoria you will be my niece and Joseph will be my business partner."

"Partner?"

"Yes, partner. Where we are standing now is where I want the main house built. It has a lovely view of the water."

"Is all of the land from here to the water yours?"

"Yes, it is. I plan to keep the view open."

"Why not build closer to the water?"

"We get too many storms. I have seen many of my friends lose everything."

"I look forward to living here, Uncle Rock. I mean Mr. Rockford."

"Good. We should get going. We have another two miles to go."

"Two more. It seems as if we have already walked two. Can we rest for a while? Please, Uncle Rock. My feet are tired."

"Very well."

The three sat down on the soft grass. Victoria proceeded to take off her shoes and rub her toes."

"Why are you wearing shoes that hurt your feet?" asked Joseph.

"Sometimes, Joseph, women buy things because they look nice regardless of comfort."

"I never realized, Mr. Rockford."

"I am sure you have been on a date or two. You never noticed?"

"I guess I never noticed," replied Joseph as he looked away. The truth was that he had never been on a date to notice.

"Actually, gentlemen, I just have not broken them in yet."

"Sorry to assume, Victoria."

"That is OK, Uncle Rock. I am sorry. I did not mean to sound irritated. The truth is I have bought shoes in the past because I liked the look. It just was not the case this time."

"Mr. Rockford, do you have a horse I can use during my employment?"

"I have several. I was thinking about buying an automobile, but it is not very practical yet. Riding horseback is going to be best while the construction is going on."

"I look forward to the ride."

"How about you, Victoria? Have you ridden?"

"No, sir. There was never the need."

"I can teach you if you would like."

"Thank you, Joseph. That is kind of you. I will let you know later on."

"Are you ready to continue, Victoria?"

"Not really, but I know we have to keep going. I am sure we do not have much daylight left."

"We should be just fine."

Victoria gingerly slipped on her shoes. It was going to be a long two miles. Her feet were throbbing.

"Let me help you up."

Victoria accepted Joseph's assistance and then began to walk ahead of him. Joseph quickly came up to her side and offered his arm. His emotions stirred every time they touched, and he could tell Victoria felt the same thing. Her cheeks would get a lovely pink glow. Thankfully, his body was taking control since his mind, surely did not know what to do.

"Thank you, Joseph. Hopefully, it will help ease the burden on my feet."

Victoria was thankful for some excuse after refusing earlier. He noticed her blush. What was with her and all these emotions? She was still married and she should not be enjoying this.

"I will try not to walk too fast of a pace for you Victoria."

"Thank you Uncle Rock. Please lead the way home."

"Home. I like the sound of that. I guess it will be home for the three of us for a while. Mr. Rockford does anyone else live there."

"Please call me, Otis. We are partners now. I do have a maid that lives on the premises. She has been working for me for the last twenty years."

"What is her name?"

"May Greenburg."

"Will I like her?"

"I believe you will Victoria. She will be happy that someone else will be doing the cooking besides me."

"How long have you been without a cook?"

"It has been over ten years."

"Then why did you hire me?"

"You needed a job."

"Thank you for your generosity, Uncle Rock. If you would like, I can look for employment elsewhere."

"Nonsense, child. It is about time I hired a cook. I am looking forward to more than meat and potatoes."

"I will do my best, sir."

"I am sure you will dear."

"I can help if you would like."

"I did not know you were handy in the kitchen Joseph," replied Victoria with laughter.

"Do you think it is funny that I can cook? I have you know I am pretty good. Men can cook too Victoria."

"I know," replied Victoria in a soft voice just above a whisper.

Joseph caressed Victoria's hand that was resting in the crook of his arm. He did not mean to sound harsh.

"I am sorry Victoria. I was just playing along with your merriment. I also want to apologize for calling you stubborn."

"There is no need to apologize for speaking the truth. I am stubborn at times. It is just the way that I am."

Joseph felt Victoria stiffen up so he dropped his free hand. Women are surely difficult to understand.

"The house is just on the other side of these trees. Do either of you want to take a short break? We have one more mile to go."

"I would rather keep going. If I stop now, I do not think I will want to start again."

"Victoria had I knew the walk would be so difficult for you I would have had a driver take us home."

"No need to apologize Uncle Rock. The view has been lovely. I am glad we walked. My feet just hurt."

"We should go shopping tomorrow for some new shoes for you."

"Joseph, if I did not have money for food on the train what makes you think I have money to buy shoes. I told you these are new."

Victoria's stomach grumbled after her last statement.

"I almost forgot. I have a muffin we can share."

"I still cannot accept Joseph. I did not pay for it."

"I will pay for your share Victoria."

"I cannot accept Uncle Rock."

"It is not a hand out. It is an advance on your wages. May I buy a portion for myself?"

" I should be able to divide it into thirds."

Joseph pulled the stale muffin out of his pocket, unwrap it, and handed Victoria and Otis a portion. Victoria began to cough when the dry bread refused to go down easily. Joseph patted her back until the coughing stopped.

"How did you eat this?"

"It was better than nothing. I was hungry."

"You must have been starving. I cannot eat any more of this. Uncle Rock, would you like my portion?"

"Certainly. It is not that bad."

"I am glad you like it. Do you have anything in your house to eat Uncle Rock?"

"Very little I am afraid. There is likely stale bread and possibly cheese."

"May is not cooking anything for you for when you return?"

"May does not cook for me. I cook for her."

"What has she eaten while you have been gone? I would have thought you would have provided for her."

"Please do not get so worked up Victoria."

"Why not? Are you going to leave me with nothing every time you go on a trip?"

"Allow Mr. Rockford to explain, Victoria. I am sure Miss May is well taken care of."

"That you can be certain of. May stays with a friend when I am away."

"You do not trust her to stay in your home while you are gone?"

"Victoria calm down. Has Mr. Rockford done anything to make you think so poorly of him?"

"No."

"Then let the man talk."

"As I was saying Victoria. May is with a friend. She is feeble-minded. It is best for her to always have someone watching over her. She can manage a few meals on her own, but nothing that requires the use of the stove."

"What is wrong with her?" asked Victoria with sudden compassion.

"Her mother had a high fever when she was pregnant, and it affected May. She is a very hard worker and does an excellent job cleaning the house."

"Why would you hire someone like that?"

"Like what? Victoria."

"Someone who is feeble-minded. I thought there were places for people like that."

"There are places for people like that. They are not the best places and are typically understaffed."

"How is your place going to be different Mr. Rockford?"

"Like I said earlier, everyone who is able to work will work. They will have a sense of community; a place to belong."

"I forgot about your special needs home, Uncle Rock. Sorry I blew up at you. I guess I am nervous."

"I would think you are also a bit tired."

"Yes, I am. I will be happy with any food you have at home. Sorry Joseph for being ugly about the muffin."

"You have had a long day. We all have. A light supper and a good night's rest are all we need."

"I do hope my feet feel better in the morning. I have never had so much trouble breaking in a new pair of shoes."

"May might have a more comfortable pair you can use."

"Do you think she will share?"

"Definitely. May would give you her only pair if you were to ask. She has a heart of gold and will be a good friend."

"I do not know."

"Why not? Is it because she is feeble-minded?"

"I do not know what to think since I have never been around someone like her."

"Just keep an open mind Victoria."

"I will try. No promises."

"Is that your house Mr. Rockford?"

"Yes, Joseph. It is about another ten-minute walk."

"I thought it would be bigger," replied Victoria.

"Why is that?"

"You seem like you are wealthy. I thought the wealthy had huge homes and you have a maid."

"I like a smaller home. It would be very lonely just me in a large house."

"What happened to your wife?"

Otis sighed loudly.

"I am sorry Uncle Rock."

The three walked in silence the rest of the way to the house. Mr. Rockford was no longer in the mood for conversation.

# Chapter 3

"Uncle Rock when is May coming back to work?" asked Victoria as they sat around the kitchen table eating breakfast.

"She has asked to be off for another two weeks." There was a hint of sadness in his voice.

"That would be a month. Why so long?"

"She wanted the time. I did not ask why."

"Can you hire someone to help with the cleaning?"

"I would prefer not to. May likes things done a certain way."

"But we are cleaning."

"Yes, but she does not feel threatened by us cleaning."

"Why not? Why does it matter?" Irritation started to show in Victoria's voice.

"If I hire someone just to clean, she feels that her job is threatened. If we are helping out, she knows she will be welcomed back."

"That makes sense. I still could use some help. Your house is bigger than I realized."

"Otis would you like me to help?" Joseph asked in an overly pleasant voice.

"That is up to you. I do not want you to get behind in your other responsibilities."

"I can do both. Victoria after breakfast, can you show me what you would like help with?"

Victoria's cheeks redden at the thought of spending time with Joseph. Why did she even ask Uncle Rock in front of him? It had been two weeks since they arrived, and she still felt the presence of his hands on her waist. It did not matter since she was married. No one would want to have anything to do with her. She would have to endure another sermon at church tomorrow, which was another reminder that she was a sinner. The redness of her cheeks faded, and she scowled deeply at her last thought.

"It does not have to be after breakfast."

"What?" Victoria replied sharply to mask her embarrassment of daydreaming about Joseph.

"I asked if you could show me what you need help with." Joseph looked at Victoria puzzled.

"I do not need your help," replied Victoria a little less sharp.

"Then why did you ask me to hire someone Victoria?"

"I do not know Uncle Rock."

"You have been having a little trouble keeping up. I suppose you do not want Joseph's help. It is important that you learn to get along since you will be living in this house together for some time."

"What if I do not want to live here?" Victoria dropped her fork into her plate and pushed the plate away.

"You are free to go whenever you like Victoria. At some point, you need to stop running."

"I am not running. I thought I would be more than a cook and a maid." Victoria trembled as she sat eyeing Uncle Rock.

"A service job is nothing to be ashamed of."

"That is easy for you to say. I was top of my class. You have wealth and will build the special needs home for the feeble-minded. Joseph is your business partner. What am I?"

Victoria crossed her arms over her chest and scowled at both of them. She was tired of feeling less important.

"Victoria as long as you are living in my house I would prefer no talk like that. I do not appreciate you raising your voice. God has a purpose for each of us. Do not belittle the gifts he has given you."

Joseph was surprised at how calm Otis was being. His natural response would be to yell back.

"What gifts? Anyone can cook."

"Everyone cannot. Joseph will be spending time helping with the cleaning until May returns. If you do not approve, I can drop you off in town tomorrow before church."

Victoria stubbornly turned her head, staring at the wall. Would it be easier to just leave or make an effort to work alongside Joseph? She did not know what she was feeling these days except that she knew she did not want to be alone. Schooling her features she turned her head back to look at Uncle Rock.

"You do not need to drop me off in town. I will work with Joseph."

Joseph sighed with relief. He did not know why, but he was drawn to her even with her stubbornness and temper and would miss her if she did decide to leave. What could he do to make her feel worthy?

"Otis, maybe Victoria could help with the home."

"I am trying to reduce my workload, Joseph, not add to it." What on earth was he thinking?

"You said you wanted to be more than a cook. Spend some time with me and see if you enjoy the business."

"Maybe I do not want to spend more time with you." Victoria lowered her eyes briefly. Did she just say that?

"Joseph that is a wonderful idea. Victoria will help with the design of the home. I will have a talk with May and see if she can come back sooner."

"Uncle Rock do I have to?"

"Yes Victoria. I do not know what your problem is with Joseph. You two need time together to work it out."

"Fine. But, I am not happy about it."

"Victoria you are free to leave anytime you like. I suggest you work on your attitude. Do not forget that I am your employer, although we are letting the town folk believe you are my niece. I have to admit you are playing the role beautifully."

"I do not know how to take that."

What was he thinking suggesting ways they could spend more time together?

"Victoria you are stubborn, strong willed, and opinionated."

"Who asked you Joseph?" Victoria snapped. How did he manage to always get under her skin?

"Just stating the facts, Victoria. It would make living together in this house easier if you were more considerate of everyone else." Joseph pushed his own plate away in his frustration.

"That is enough Joseph." Otis replied with gruffness to his voice. He removed the napkin from his lap and threw it on his plate.

"Yes, sir," replied Joseph softly. What has come over me? He never spoke to anyone like that. Unfortunately, Victoria drew out the worst in him.

"After breakfast, Victoria, I expect you to go over the morning cleaning routine with Joseph."

"Yes, sir."

"Now if you will excuse me. I will finish my coffee in the study."

Joseph and Victoria sat in silence for the remainder of breakfast neither one ready to make a move. When there was no coffee left, Victoria began to clear the dishes from the table. Joseph followed along to lend a hand. It was not until the dishes were washed, table and counters wiped down, and floors swept that Victoria broke the silence.

"Thank you Joseph for your help."

"You are welcome, but you do not need to thank me. I am supposed to be helping. What other morning chores do we need to do?" His previous anger was now gone.

"Much as I dislike the idea, I believe it is best that we work together."

"Why do you dislike me?" asked Joseph as he moved closer to Victoria infringing on her personal space.

Victoria blushed. He had her trapped. She was stuck between him and the sink. Chills ran down her spine when he touched her arm lightly. Frustrated with her reaction, she frowned and pushed him out of her way.

While he had no experience with women, he was not blind. There was an attraction between them. No matter how many talks he gave himself about staying away from her, he kept going back. She was adorable every time she blushed, and she blushed every time he was near.

"We will do the bedrooms next; make the beds, dust, and sweep the floor. You can take care of your room, and I will take care of mine. Uncle Rock does not wish for us to go in his room." Joseph followed as Victoria made her way out of the kitchen.

"How does it get cleaned?"

"I do not know. I guess he takes care of it himself."

"I did not realize you were dusting and sweeping my room. I had not even realized you went in there." Joseph was thankful he was a neat person. He would have been embarrassed if she had been picking up his drawers.

"Uncle Rock told me to. I do appreciate that your bed was always made."

"That is one of the things Mother always insisted on."

"I have never met a man so willing to do woman's work."

"Mother always lectured us about being able to take care of ourselves. She made sure we knew how to cook and clean."

"Sounds like a very smart woman."

"She is. I would like you to come with me when I visit for Easter."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"I do not have money for travel. Besides, Uncle Rock is not going to want both of us gone at the same time." She had to think of something to convince him. It was difficult now keeping her distance from him, and it would be impossible if they traveled together, having to rely on him in an unfamiliar place.

"It was Mr. Rockford's idea that we both go, remember." Joseph placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her. She turned and looked into his eyes briefly. If she looked too long, she would start to blush again.

"He has likely changed his mind," replied Victoria softly. She had to keep her distance.

"I doubt it. He is making a lot of effort to make sure we are spending time together."

"His efforts at match making are useless."

"I agree. You clearly are not ready to move on."

"I am glad we agree on something."

"You two get back to work. The house is not going to clean itself," stated Mr. Rockford as he passed them in the hallway on his way to the kitchen with his empty coffee cup.

"Yes, sir."

Joseph and Victoria continued down the hallway to the bedrooms without saying another word. He followed Victoria into her room instead of going into his own. It took a minute before Victoria realized.

"What are you doing in here?" The last thing Victoria wanted was a man in her bedroom; especially one she was starting to have feelings for. She should not feel this way. She was not available.

"I thought it would go faster if we worked together. Then, we could spend the rest of the morning going over ideas for the layout of the home." Joseph was pleading with her. He enjoyed spending time with her, even with her mood swings.

"I will not have all morning."

"Why not?"

"Someone has to prepare lunch."

"We will have a picnic lunch with ham sandwiches and apples. I will help."

"Why do you want to spend so much time with me?"

"It is for the home."

"Is that the only reason?" The look Victoria gave Joseph challenged him to confess his feelings first.

"The only reason I wish to share at this time." Joseph was not ready to declare his feelings since he was not sure what he felt. He did enjoy being close to her, but he knew he could not build a relationship on attraction.

"Very well. Help me make my bed. You can dust the high areas."

Joseph and Victoria worked in silence as they cleaned their bedrooms. Victoria went into the parlor when they were done and started dusting the low shelves. Without her prompting, he began to dust the high shelves and saw why she needed help. It had to be more time-consuming to dust when you had to keep moving a ladder. With Victoria unaware, Joseph snuck out of the room and went to the kitchen to fix more coffee. While the coffee brewed, he sliced some cheddar cheese and a green apple. When he entered the parlor carrying the tray, he found Victoria lying on the floor sleeping. He was very puzzled since he had not been gone long. She seemed wide-awake when he left the room. Quietly setting the tray down on a nearby table, he went in search of Otis.

"Otis does Victoria normally fall asleep on the floor while she is cleaning?"

"Not that I am aware of. Did you try to wake her?"

"No. I came looking for you. I was not sure what to do."

"We should go check on her. I guess I have been working her too hard."

When Otis and Joseph entered the parlor, Victoria was sitting on the sofa enjoying a cup of coffee and a slice of cheese.

"Are you feeling unwell Victoria?"

"I feel fine Uncle Rock. Why do you ask?"

"Joseph indicated you were sleeping on the floor when he brought the tray in."

"I do not know what he is talking about. I was sitting on the floor dusting the bottom shelf. I was not sleeping on the job." Why would Joseph tell on me? I could not have been asleep for more than five minutes.

"Victoria it is all right if you fell asleep. We just want to make sure you are well. Do you want me to call the doctor?"

"No doctor. I guess I was tired."

"We should all take it easy the rest of the day."

"Thank you, Uncle Rock."

"You are welcome, Victoria."

Joseph poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down next to Victoria with his mind focused on her. She had become very important to him in just the short amount of time they had known each other. No word yet from his family about the death of her husband. It had not been long, but he hoped to know more so he would know how to proceed. His feelings for her were growing deeper, and it greatly concerned him that she had fallen asleep so easily. He said a short prayer for her safety and that she would trust them to seek help if she needed it.

Otis went back to his study to phone May and the doctor. After Otis made both phone calls, he went back to the parlor to share the news.

"Victoria, Joseph, do you have a moment to talk?"

"Of course, Uncle Rock. We were just finishing up."

"I spoke with May; she has decided not to return. She wants to try to do something else."

"What are we going to do about a maid?" Victoria was alarmed. The last thing she wanted to do was clean a house full time. If it were her own home, it would be different. Her pride would not allow her to be a maid. She was meant to be more than that.

"Joseph will spend more time helping until I can find a replacement."

"I am glad I will not have to do it on my own."

"I also called the doctor, Victoria."

"Why?" Victoria spilled coffee on her hand as she replied. A doctor would be able to tell she had had a child. She did not want anyone to find out. She wanted to be able to start over.

"I am concerned for you and pray that you are just not used to the work. You are dealing with many changes in your life with the loss of your husband. I do hope you will allow the doctor to give you a checkup."

"How will I pay for it?"

"I will be paying for his services."

"I do not want to be in debt to you."

"I am the one that is concerned. This is for my benefit." His eyes were pleading as he patiently waited for her reply.

"OK, Uncle Rock." Victoria did not know what else to say. It would look suspicious if she protested too much and she did not want to disappoint him. She was growing very fond of Uncle Rock.

"Joseph, if you would like, I can have the doctor give you a checkup as well."

"Thank you, Otis. It does not hurt to make sure everything is OK."

"Victoria what other housework needs to be done this morning?"

"I normally sweep the floors. I mop every three days. I mopped yesterday."

"Anything else that needs to be done?"

"The bathrooms. I normally clean them after lunch."

"I will take care of sweeping the floors today. I would like to go over the current plans with you before I start if that is all right with you."

"Why do you want my help? I am just a woman."

"It is because you are a woman that I want your help. The homes need to have a woman's touch."

"Do you really think it will make a difference?"

"Yes, I do." Joseph looked longingly into Victoria's eyes. What had ever happened to this woman to make her believe she did not matter? Her thoughts were the old way of thinking. Things had been different for years, not that women had all the same advantages as men.

"Why?" Victoria was still not convinced he would want her opinion about anything.

"You have a stubbornness that I have never witnessed before."

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

"Yes. You are very driven when you set your mind to something."

"Fine. Just show me what you want me to look at."

Joseph left the parlor to get the plans he had been working on. There were several plans he had drawn up, but none seemed like home. He figured if he did not want to live there than the feeble-minded would not like it either.

"I see you have been busy," stated Victoria when Joseph walked in with a stack of papers.

"I have been, but I do not feel I am making any progress."

"Why not?"

"It needs a woman's touch to feel like home. I want the people to feel welcomed like we do here. Otis has not talked about a wife, but the house does have a woman's touch."

"I would be happy to help anyway I can. I believe I know what you are wanting."

Joseph sat down on the sofa next to Victoria. Their thighs were touching slightly as Joseph arranged the most current layout on her lap. He felt a sudden urge to move closer and was about to adjust when Victoria moved closer. They both sat there for a moment before Victoria spoke.

"The layout is a bit confining. It needs to be more open. Is there any issue with removing this wall?"

"I do not think so. Why do you want to take that wall out?"

"It makes it more inviting. The kitchen stove can also be used to heat this area of the house. An open area will allow better observation of everyone in case help is needed. Most homes have the kitchen separate from the rest of the house. If I ever needed help, it could be awhile before anyone would notice."

"Do you think you can draw something?"

"I can try. You may need to redo it."

"That will be fine. I will have something to work with."

### / / /

"How has your day been Victoria? "

"Very good, Uncle Rock."

"Did you enjoy working on the plans?"

"Yes I did. I do hope you like my ideas."

"I am sure we will be able to use some of your ideas."

"How can you be so sure?"

"If we cannot use your exact ideas, it does not mean your ideas did not help us coming up with something else. It will be a team effort."

Uncle Rock gathered up the drawings and brought them to his study. With a fresh cup of coffee, he spent the next hour reviewing Victoria's drawings. Once done, he proceeded to locate Victoria. She was sitting comfortably on the sofa in the parlor enjoying a cup of coffee as she looked at a few blue jays playing in a nearby oak tree.

"Victoria your ideas are wonderful. I will be meeting with the architect on Monday. He should be able to work with the new design."

"I am glad I was able to help. I feel like I have actually accomplished something."

"Victoria there is nothing wrong with a service job. It is all part of God's plan. Besides, I thought you enjoyed cooking."

"I do enjoy cooking. Others think less of me for being just a cook. I think less of me. I should have been able to do more. I feel like a failure." Victoria placed her coffee down on the side table. The last thing she wanted to do was spill it. She tended to talk with her hands when she became emotional.

"I believe it is your pride that makes you feel that way. God will help you accept the path he has chosen for you. Joseph and I are here for you if you ever want to talk. Give it time. It took many years for me to accept my place in this world."

"Have you accepted it, Uncle Rock? You seem very sad at times. I would be happy to listen if you want to tell me about your wife."

Uncle Rock stood quickly and anguish showed on his face.

"There was never a wife, Victoria. Please stop asking."

"I am sorry, Uncle Rock. Your house has a woman's touch. I just assumed. I am still here if you want to talk about whatever is troubling you."

"Only after you share what is burdening you. I did some checking into your past. It may do you some good to talk about what has happened. I will not judge you."

"I prefer not to talk about it. Besides, it is between me and God."

"Is it?"

"Yes."

"Then why do you feel so bad? God has forgiven you. You need to forgive yourself. I will leave you to your thoughts, Victoria." Uncle Rock left the room carrying the new plans. He was caught up in his own thoughts that he nearly walked into the hall room table. Joseph was watching him from the doorway. Uncle Rock had not noticed him when he exited the parlor.

Joseph said a silent prayer of thanks. His only burden was his family's request to find his own way in life guided by God's will. He truly preferred his burden to Otis's or Victoria's trouble. Maybe Otis would share information about Victoria's husband. There was still no word about him from his parents. He had received a few letters from them. They were very happy that he found a place to live and work. However, they made no comment at all about Victoria or her husband. It was unlike them not to encourage the relationship. Victoria was running away. What was her sin that my parents would not share? Joseph's only hope of finding out would be from Otis.

Joseph found Mr. Rockford sitting at his desk in his study staring out the window. The plans lay scattered on top of his desk.

"Otis is there anything I can get for you?"

Otis failed to answer. This was not a good time it seemed to talk. Joseph decided he would bring coffee to him and Victoria. They both needed someone to cater to them.

### / / /

"Victoria the evening meal was wonderful. The roast was very tender."

"Thank you, Uncle Rock. I was not sure how it was going to turn out since I was busy with the doctor. You certainly got your money's worth. I have never had a doctor ask so many questions."

"What did the doctor say was the problem?"

"He did not say. He recommended I rest when I start to feel tired and will return in three months to see if the additional rest helped."

"I guess the doctor liked you, Victoria. He spent very little time with me."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. I did not mean to offend you. No need to get worked up."

"Dr. Benjamin is very professional. I am sure he spent the appropriate time with each of you. When does Dr. Benjamin want to see you next, Joseph?"

"In two weeks."

"It sounds like Dr. Benjamin was not finished with his exam?"

"I guess not Victoria. I am sorry about implying."

"Can we just stop talking about Dr. Benjamin's visit?"

"Yes, Victoria. What did you make us for dessert?"

"I did not have time today Uncle Rock. We have a few pears."

"Pears with some cheddar cheese would be wonderful."

"I will go get it."

Joseph stood before Victoria had a chance and gently laid a hand on her shoulder to let her know that he would handle bringing in the dessert. Victoria looked up and met Joseph's gaze. They stared at each other for just a moment. Uncle Rock cleared his throat. Joseph started and taking the hint, walked to the kitchen.

"Now that Joseph is out of the room, would you like to share what the doctor said?"

"There is nothing to tell. He asked many questions, but he did not tell me that anything was actually wrong. I asked and he said just get some rest. I wish he had given me some guidance other than rest.

"Maybe it is not physical."

"I do not want to talk about it."

"It could help. If you do not want to talk with me or Joseph, talk with Pastor Mary."

"I will think about it."

"What will you think about?" asked Joseph as he walked back into the dining room with a tray of pears sprinkled with cheese.

"Talking to Pastor Mary."

"About what?"

"None of your business, Joseph. If I decide to talk with him, it will be between me and Pastor Mary."

"OK, Victoria. I did not mean to upset you. I have been doing that a lot lately."

"I am sorry, Joseph. I think I will go rest in the parlor. Joseph can you take care of the dishes?"

"Sure. I would be happy to."

Victoria made her way quickly out of the dining room. A tear escaped as she left the room. Maybe it would help if I talk with Pastor Mary. At least he will not share the information. I cannot risk losing my job. Lord, please help me. Victoria collapsed on the floor next to the sofa and sobbed her eyes out.

"Mr. Rockford, what do you know about Victoria's past?"

"I do not know anything more than what she has shared."

"I thought I heard you tell her you looked into her past."

"It is not polite to ease drop Joseph. I know something is troubling her and thought if she thought I already knew she would be more willing to share."

"I guess she will share when she is ready."

"I know you have feelings for her Joseph. You need to take it slow. She has issues she has to deal with first. Just be her friend."

"I will try."

# Chapter 4

March 1902

Heronton, Montana

"Will your parents like me?" asked Victoria nervously as Victoria and Joseph approached Joseph's parents' house.

"I honestly do not know, Victoria." Joseph feared they would hate her. They had not once commented about her in their letters.

The house had not changed much, just a bit worn out looking then he remembered. It was still cold here compared to Mobile. Lord, please help my family to love Victoria as much as I do. It is Easter, a time to celebrate. I want this to be a good experience for her. One day I may ask her to be my wife. Victoria is the only one that makes my heart race just seeing her. She has secrets though that would need to be revealed before I can declare my love.

The last two months together had been rewarding, but interesting with Victoria's moods varying greatly. Mr. Rockford still had not found a replacement for May and at times it seemed that he did not want to. Victoria was doing much better with the added rest and was instrumental in the home moving forward so quickly. The construction crew would begin in another two weeks.

What was he thinking bringing Victoria here? Things were working out well at Mr. Rockford's. Memories started to flood through his mind. He thought he was happy when he lived at home. Originally, he was overwhelmed with homesickness. Now, he did not know what to think. Had he been happy? If he had, it did not compare to spending time with Victoria. Maybe that is what his parents wanted him to find out.

Victoria noticed how Joseph looked around. It was as if he had not seen it in years when it had only been months. She expected him to be full of excitement to return home, yet he appeared to be dreading knocking on the door. What did he mean he did not know what his parents would think? Did his parents know about her past? Did Joseph? He had not said. Not wanting to remember was one of the reasons she did not want to return home since her father was no longer there. It was just too painful. At least Joseph had wanted to return home, now she was not so sure. Never had she thought she would feel, such at home as she did at Mr. Rockford's. The love she felt now overshadowed any memories of her childhood home. A diminutive smile crept up on her face.

"Are you ready to meet my family?" Asked Joseph nervously, resting his eyes on Victoria.

"As ready as I can be since you do not know what your parents will think of me," stated Victoria. Her smile faded.

"I am sorry to worry you, Victoria. My parents will love you," Joseph wrapped his arm around her waist and placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head. She seldom wore hats, even though it was the custom. His heart fluttered at the closeness. Hugs seemed to calm her. He tried to keep it friendly, but he never felt it was a friendly hug and desired her more every time he was near.

"Thanks for trying to comfort me Joseph. We should go inside and see what they think. There is no sense in staying on the porch freezing. I know now why Uncle Rock gave me a coat as an early Easter gift."

"Sorry to keep you out in the cold." Joseph opened the door and walked in ahead of Victoria.

Victoria slowly followed Joseph as she took in her surroundings. The decor was not much different than her family home. There was the same small table in the entry hallway with a framed mirror hanging above it. Unlike her family home, the table had a few homemade decorations that appeared to be made by children. Victoria picked up a small cross that had been whittled from a small branch. It was simple and lovely. The twine holding it together had begun to fray.

Joseph was almost to the parlor when he noticed Victoria was not at his side. Before he could get back to her, Henry was walking up behind her.

"I believe Joseph made that when he was twelve," whispered Henry as his warm breath tickled Victoria's neck.

Victoria blushed as Henry spoke softly in her ear, not sure if his charming presence caused the crimson in her cheeks or knowing something more personal about Joseph. She never tired of his hugs and innocent kisses and longed for it to be more. Not ready yet to confess her sins out of fear of losing him, she would love at a distance, than not love at all. Promising Pastor Mary that she would follow God's guidance for her life, she would seek a divorce in God's timing and release Lawrence from his obligation. He needed to be able to move on. Through counseling with Pastor Mary, she realized she had never truly loved Lawrence as a husband nor properly grieved the loss of her father. Lawrence was a means of escape from her loss and it was best to move on with her life.

"Victoria, I would like you to meet my cousin Henry." Victoria moved quickly to Joseph's side. Henry's prolonged closeness was a bit too personal for her liking.

"It is a pleasure to meet you Henry." Victoria extended her slender white-gloved hand.

"The pleasure is all mine." Henry raised her offered hand and gently kissed her knuckles.

Victoria noticeably blushed not expecting such a charmer. Her experience in such matters was limited and her only intent was to shake hands. These new emotions truly disturbed her, being so moved by a stranger, since she thought she loved Joseph and was still married to Lawrence.

Joseph possessively wrapped his arm around Victoria's waist. He certainly needed to show some claim to her. The last thing he needed was Henry making any moves.

"Do not pay any mind to him, Victoria. He has always been a ladies man."

"Do not listen to him. He is just jealous that his younger cousin has had more dates than him."

"I am not jealous, Henry." Joseph released his hold on Victoria's waist and reached out for her hand. She gladly took the offered hand. "I will show you to your room and then bring you to meet my parents."

Henry just stood there as the two of them walked down the hallway and entered Joseph's bedroom.

"I hope you do not mind using my room." His voice shook slightly. The woman he loved was standing in his childhood bedroom and would soon meet his parents. It was as if they were already engaged. What had he done?

"Where will you sleep, Joseph?" Victoria broke into his thoughts. She could see the distress all over his face.

"On the sofa," replied Joseph after a brief moment to collect his thoughts and school his features.

"I cannot have you give up your bed for me." Her distress was more than simply putting him out of his own room. She felt it was too intimate to be sleeping in his bed.

Joseph ignored Victoria's comment, set their bags down and began looking around his room. Tears pooled in his eyes as the realization that all of his personal items were missing. The bookshelves were nearly bare, and did not contain any of his books. He opened up his top dresser drawer and found it empty. Melancholy washed over him as a tear fell from his right eye. It had only been three months. Did his parents think he would never return?

Victoria watched in silence as Joseph moved about the room. She knew from cleaning his room in Mobile that someone had redecorated this room. Even though he had only been at Uncle Rock's for a short time, Joseph had personalized his room with various mementos he had brought from home and a few new items. She said a silent prayer for him knowing he must be devastated to find all his belongings gone. Thankfully, she would never have to know the feeling since she would never return. Knowing he needed some comfort, Victoria walked up behind him, wrapped her arms around his waist, and gently kissed the back of his neck.

Victoria's touch was just what he needed. Even though Joseph knew Victoria was hiding something, he needed her in his life. They hugged, held hands and shared innocent kisses, but nothing beyond that. It was not for lack of desire. Joseph wanted to move the relationship forward and Victoria always held him at bay. He would relish any contact she wished to share and savored her closeness.

Without moving away, he softly spoke. "I hope the room is comfortable for you Victoria. I will keep my bags in here. It is not appropriate for us to share a room or be this close. Not that I mind. I just do not want my parents to assume we are engaged." He hated to have to say anything, but if she did not move soon his body was going to take over.

Victoria released her hold and moved quickly to the other side of the room. Her original instinct was to comfort, but it had felt so good she did not want to let go. Aggravated with herself, she replied harshly. "Joseph, I was just trying to cheer you up. There will never be anything between us and you know that. We are just friends. I believe this would be a good time for me to meet your parents."

"Yes, Victoria, it is a good time to meet my parents."

### / / /

"Aunt Jane, Uncle Bob, Joseph is in love. I never thought it would happen. I thought it was a crazy idea sending him away to find a wife. It worked. She is very charming and lovely."

"Henry, we do not want to hear any more talk about Joseph being in love. It was a terrible idea to send him away. We plan to insist that he stay."

"But why, Aunt Jane. I have never seen him happier."

"There are things you do not know. I expect you not to bring it up again."

"Henry, please go get your cousin and his friend. I would like to see my son and the woman he cares for."

"Yes sir, Uncle Bob." Henry dashed out of the kitchen.

Joseph and Victoria were slowly making their way to the kitchen when Henry stopped them. "Uncle Bob sent me to get you."

"Is he happy that I am here with Victoria?" Joseph was visibly nervous and Victoria seemed scared to death.

"Of course, Uncle Bob is happy that both of you are here. He is excited to meet you, Victoria. You both need to take a few deep breaths and relax though. You do not want Aunt Jane seeing you this nervous. I have never seen her so worked up. I am here for you, cousin."

"Thanks Henry," replied Joseph with very little enthusiasm. He should have known not to bring Victoria. His mother had not once commented about her in her letters. She must know Victoria's secret. "Henry, please tell my dad we will see him a little later. I am going to show Victoria the farm before it gets dark."

"Good idea. That will give Aunt Jane some time to settle her nerves. Do not worry Victoria, I will run interference for you. Joseph, I thought Aunt Jane wanted you to find a wife and now that you may have, she is freaking out. You are the last of her children to marry."

"Henry, Joseph and I are only friends. We work together. That is all."

"I am sorry. I thought you were a couple."

"That is ok, Henry. Down South where we live, the people are friendlier. It is common to greet friends with a hug and a kiss on the cheek."

"Sounds like a fun place to live. I would like to visit sometime."

"We would have to check with Uncle Rock first, but I am sure he would not mind."

"That sounds great. You two go take your walk. I will let Uncle Bob and Aunt Jane know where you went."

Joseph and Victoria walked out of the house in silence. Joseph could tell Victoria was upset. He had never told her why he had left home. When they reached the barn, he escorted her inside. Thankfully the smell was mild due to the cold weather, but you could still make out the smell of hay and clean horses. Dad must have given them a good brushing.

"Joseph, I can never be your wife. Did you bring me here to show your parents you found someone?"

Joseph walked a few steps away from Victoria. He needed a moment to think and pray. Lord, what am I to do? I am falling in love with this woman. What is so wrong with that? I would like her to be my wife someday. I know now is not the time. When Lord? The sound of the barn door opening broke through Joseph's thoughts.

"Welcome home, Son." Bob Holmes gave his son a big hug and then walked over to Victoria. "It is nice to finally meet you, Victoria. Joseph has told us so much about you. He is blessed to have such a good friend."

"It is a pleasure to meet you too, Mr. Holmes." Victoria reached her hand out, but instead of Mr. Holmes shaking her hand, he gave her a hug.

After the hug, Victoria moved next to Joseph. She had not expected such a warm welcome. "Mr. Holmes, I cannot marry your son. I did not even know until a moment ago that he was looking. You do not need to be so welcoming. It is nice, but not necessary."

"Victoria dear, I know you cannot marry Joseph at this time. At Joseph's request, we did look into your past."

"You what?"

"Victoria, please do not be angry with Joseph. He was concerned about you. We only wanted to be able to help."

"How is sharing my secrets going to help?"

"What are you talking about, Victoria. I was looking into the death of your husband. I thought if I knew how he died, I could help you grieve. You seemed too upset to talk about it."

Victoria sighed with relief. His parents knew, but Joseph did not. She would need to tell him soon.

"Joseph, Victoria will tell you about her past when she is ready. While your Mother and I may know some things, we do not know Victoria's side. We will not discuss it with you."

"Thank you, Mr. Holmes. I appreciate you giving me the time I need to tell Joseph."

"What is so horrible that you cannot tell me now? We share everything else."

"Do we." Victoria eyed Joseph suspiciously as she took a step away from him.

"Of course. I have no secrets."

"Then why is Henry talking about you finding a wife?"

"That is our fault, Victoria. Jane and I knew Joseph was not happy here. We wanted him to have more opportunities to meet someone. I am thankful you are friends. It is an answer to our prayers."

"I am sorry I did not tell you, Victoria. I wanted to. I just never felt the timing was right." Joseph walked away. He was not ready to confess his love. What man would be, when the woman continued to remind him she could not marry him.

"Joseph, do not be long. Dinner is almost ready."

"We will be in in just a moment."

Joseph and Victoria stood in silence as Bob exited the barn with a light step to his pace.

"Joseph, please be patient with me. I am happy with the way things are. I am not ready or able to give you more. I do care for you Joseph. I just cannot marry you," Tears started to stream down her face. Joseph wrapped his arms around her from behind just as she had done when they were inside. He somewhat understood why Victoria did not want to make changes. He feared she would leave if he actually confessed his love and wanted as much time with her as possible.

"I will be patient, Victoria, I will not ask again about your husband. If my mother gives you any trouble, we will go home early."

"You would do that for me? You would cut your visit short with your parents if I ask?" Victoria tears subsided and she wiped her fingers across her cheeks. They turned to face each other.

"Yes Victoria. I did not bring you here to force a confession or stress you in any way. I wanted you to meet my family because they are my family. I wanted you to see where I grew up." Joseph took her hands into his and searched her eyes for a sign of relief.

"Thank you, Joseph. I will do my best. I want to get to know your family. We are friends. I will support you in finding a wife if you are truly looking."

How could he convince her that she was the one? He did not want to find anyone else. She claimed she could not marry him, but her actions told a different story. More time in prayer was needed since he thought God was leading him to a married life with Victoria. Maybe he was wrong and God was only bringing them together for work, for the feeble-minded home.

"Are you ready, Joseph?"

"Yes, I am ready."

### / / /

"Jane, I know you are not an admirer of Victoria. You need to give her a chance. You need to forgive her for her sins. God has forgiving her. We do not know what her life was like with her husband. She could be a good wife for Joseph."

"Hardly. She is not good enough."

"Jane the bible tells us in Matthew Chapter 7 verse 1 'Judge not, that ye be not judged'. "

"Fine. I will not say anything to Joseph."

Jane made her way to the bathroom. She needed a moment to compose herself and pray. Bob was right. She needed to forgive. She needed guidance that only the Lord could provide. Jane washed her face with cold water and brushed her hair. She would do her best to look happy. She needed to keep an open mind.

"Dad, where is Mom?" asked Joseph as he walked into the parlor with Victoria at his side.

"She will be out in a minute. She is just freshening up."

Jane slowly walked into the parlor pausing in the entrance. From the back, Victoria was a lovely woman, shorter than she thought Joseph would like. Joseph heard his mother walk in, but waited until she was closer to turn around.

"Hi Mom, I would like you to meet my friend, Victoria. We work together for Mr. Rockford." Joseph kept his distance. His relationship with his mother had always been formal with limited physical contact, definitely a contrast to his father who welcomed a hug with a hardy pat on the back.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Victoria."

Jane stood there not even offering a hand to shake.

Victoria ignored Jane's frigid manner and offered a hug. To Victoria's surprise, the hug felt good. It had been a long time since her mother had hugged her, not that it was her mother's fault. When she hit her teen years, she felt too old for such things. Victoria released her hold and walked back to Joseph's side.

"I hope everyone is hungry. I made pot roast with potatoes and carrots for dinner."

"My favorite. Thanks Mom."

Jane failed to reply. She simply signaled with her arm for them to proceed to the dining room. Victoria admired the elaborate wares gracing the table as she entered the room. It had been some time since she had seen gold-rimmed china and crystal glasses. Joseph directed her to a seat that would put her directly across from him and next to his father. Henry walked in a moment later and joyfully sat down next to Victoria instead of Joseph. Bob and Jane then walked in with hands weighed down with the pot roast and a pitcher of lemonade. After everyone was seated, Bob said grace with the polish of a seasoned preacher and the meal began.

### / / /

"Jane, thank you for being so nice to Victoria tonight. I could tell she felt more relaxed after dinner. What changed? You originally did not want her here."

"When she hugged me, I could feel how much she needed love."

"Are you still going to ask Joseph to stay?"

"No, he is good for Victoria. One day, if she and Lawrence decide to get divorced, she would be free to many Joseph. I just hope that whatever the reason she left does not cause Joseph to leave her. I have never seen him so happy."

"I hope she will open up to us while they are here. If not, we need to start writing letters to her. She needs to know that we are here for her no matter what."

Victoria lay in bed that night talking with God. Lord, thank you for Mrs. Holmes being more welcoming by the end of the day. I certainly did not want to end the visit early and take time away from Joseph being with his parents. Guide me on when to share my story. Mr. and Mrs. Holmes know something about me, but it does not appear they have shared with Joseph. Pastor Mary indicated you would let me know when the time was right and I hope you do. I hope they can forgive me. Fear overwhelms me at times at the thought of losing Joseph. Strengthen me. Victoria continued to lie in bed, allowing her thoughts to wander. Even though she felt more peaceful than she ever had since accepting Christ into her life, sleep would not come.

She had just started to doze off when she heard noises from the kitchen. Slowly opening her eyes, she discovered it was already morning as the sun was just cresting over the horizon. Victoria sat up in bed, the covers quickly falling from her shoulders, and then quickly lay back down. After pulling the covers back up around her neck, she moved onto her side to get a better view out the window. The view was peaceful and she prayed she would feel that peace in her life always. A weight had been lifted from her shoulders after accepting Christ in her life, but the peacefulness did not stay strong. Pastor Mary had told her many times that she needed to forgive herself as the heavenly Father had.

Victoria watched out the window until the sun moved above the horizon. She dressed quickly in a simple wool gray dress. It was likely out of fashion, but it was all she could afford. There was no need for such a dress in Mobile. Since there was still a bit of noise in the kitchen, Victoria headed that way to see if she could help.

"Good morning, Victoria. I hope you slept well."

"Good morning, Mrs. Holmes. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"I am almost finished cleaning up. The guys have already eaten and are out checking on the animals."

"Including Joseph?"

"Yes, Joseph is with his father this morning."

"I did not realize that Joseph would need to work while we were here. I will go back to my room so I am out of your way." Victoria started to walk out of the kitchen.

"You are not in my way Victoria. What would you like to eat this morning?" Victoria turned back around and walked to the table.

"What do you have that is already made?" She did not want to be a burden and cause this woman to change her mind about her.

"We have some muffins."

Victoria smiled. "That is ok. The last time I had a muffin it nearly choked me to death."

Jane looked at Victoria puzzled.

"I would be delighted to fix you something."

Her reply seemed falsely sweet to Victoria's ears.

"I cannot ask you to do that. You just finished cleaning up."

"I do not mind, Victoria."

There was no way she was going to have this woman cooking for just her. "Do you have an apple and some cheese?"

"Yes, we do. We just stocked up earlier this week."

"Thank you, Mrs. Holmes."

Victoria was rooted to the spot watching as Mrs. Holmes gathered up the items. Her movements were rigid and forced. Jane clanked the plate down on the table nearly causing the red apple and chunk of Swiss cheese to slide off. Next she plopped the coffee down jostling it over the edge forming a ring on the white linen. No knife, spoon, cream or sugar was offered.

Victoria sat down and began to eat, keeping her eyes down. She could manage without the knife and preferred her coffee black. It was not until Victoria was ready for a second cup of coffee that she noticed that Jane had left the kitchen. After washing and drying her plate, she walked to the stove to pour herself another cup of coffee. Shock flooded through her at the realization that the pot was empty. Despising others waiting on her, regardless of the fact that she was a guest and did not know where anything was kept, she paced frantically trying to decide what to do. The desire for more coffee out weighted any reservations and she started opening up cabinet doors with a flurry. While she was looking for the coffee grounds, she noticed they were almost out of bread. There were plenty of muffins, but next to no bread.

Victoria was placing the bread dough in a bowl to rise when Joseph walked into the kitchen. The smell of fresh coffee had lured him in. He normally did not get an extra cup at his parents. At Mr. Rockford's, Victoria made several pots throughout the day. The thought of Victoria making herself at home warmed his heart.

"You look lovely this morning."

Victoria turned to see Joseph standing in the doorway. His husky voice and warm sentiment caused her to blush briefly before controlling her emotions. After several deep breaths, she replied.

"Thank you, Joseph. You should have told me how early everyone got up. Your mother was already cleaning up before I walked in. You know how much I dislike inconveniencing people."

Joseph smiled at the mild but justified rebuff and was glad they were alone. Victoria was being her spunky self, which was something his mother would not approve of. It was bad enough that she had sternly reminded him that his friend had slept late. She had not bothered using Victoria's name. He felt guilty enough that he had forgotten about Victoria this morning in his excitement to be home working alongside his father, despite the fact that he had slept on the sofa.

"What are you smiling at?"

"I am glad to see you made yourself at home and are relaxing a bit." Joseph leaned against the door jam. He could not pull his eyes away from her. He had hoped she would be at home in his parent's house just as he hoped one day she would change her mind and decided that they could be more than just friends.

"What do you mean relaxing? I just put a loaf of bread on to rise." The man was crazy staring at her like a lovesick schoolboy. No matter how many times she told him they could not get married, he still looked at her with love in his eyes. She looked a fright with her dress spotted with flour and hair unruly. He looked quite handsome in his blue plaid shirt and faded blue jeans.

"Exactly, you feel relaxed enough to put me in my place and bake a loaf of bread in someone else's home."

"I had to do something,"

"I know. I am sorry I did not inform you of our morning routine. Is there enough coffee for me to have a cup?" Joseph had finally made his way into the kitchen, walked up behind Victoria, and placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head. He lingered close to her.

Without turning away from the counter, she replied. "Of course. I know how much you drink each day. I was surprised the pot was empty when I went for a second cup. I did not think I woke that late." Victoria began busying herself by wiping down the counters. She needed to get some distance between the two of them, since it was not proper for them to be so close regardless of how much she enjoyed it.

"I am sure it was not late. My family does not drink a lot of coffee. Feel free to make a pot whenever you want more."

"Is there a reason they only drink a little? I do not want to cause them any financial hardship."

"They can afford the coffee, Victoria. They just do not like it as much as we do."

"So what brings you inside?"

"I came to see if you would like to take a ride around the farm this morning. Dad asked me to check the fence lines."

"I do not think so. I will just keep myself busy in the kitchen."

"Are you sure?"

"I am sure, Joseph."

Victoria poured herself and Joseph a cup of coffee. Joseph gladly took the cup and brought it up to his nose to take in the smell. It was not as rich smelling as the coffee Mr. Rockford purchased, but it did lift his spirits. The aroma always put him in a good mood. No longer in a hurry, he sat down at the table to enjoy his cup of coffee.

Mr. Holmes walked into the kitchen a few minutes later. "I was wondering what happened to you."

Joseph quickly stood. "I am sorry Dad. Victoria had made another pot of coffee. I just could not resist. Victoria will not be joining me today, so I still have time to check all the fences."

"Since Victoria is staying inside today you should have Henry go with you. Between the two of you, you can handle any needed repairs."

"We will take care of it. Victoria, will you pack a lunch for Henry and me? We may be awhile if there are a lot of repairs?"

"Sure, I will have it ready for you in a few minutes."

Joseph made his way out of the kitchen to get Henry. The sooner they started, the sooner they would be back so he could spend time with Victoria.

# Chapter 5

"I see you made yourself at home."

Victoria stopped stirring the bowl of cookie dough at the sound of Mrs. Holmes voice. She seemed pleasant, but there was a hint of something else in her voice she could not describe. It was the same oddness as earlier in the morning when she walked into the kitchen to have breakfast.

"I do hope you do not mind Mrs. Holmes. I wanted something to do." Victoria stated as calmly as she could. She was trying to feel at home.

"I do not mind. I was hoping you would. Joseph wrote to us that you are a wonderful cook. I was looking forward to the help in the kitchen."

Victoria paused before replying. She could believe that Joseph thought that she was a wonderful cook, but was doubtful that Mrs. Holmes was happy she was making herself at home.

"I would not have thought that you needed help," Victoria stated with a far more sarcastic tone than she had intended.

"I just do not have the energy I once had. My boys still expect a large spread for the midday meal. Their wife's are busy keeping up their own homes and watching over the children. They do not take the time to come out to the farm during the day."

Victoria could not tell if she sounded happy or sad about her daughter-in-laws not visiting often. She personally would think she would want her children's spouses to visit often. Not that she would ever get the opportunity to meet her daughter's husband when that time came. If she had any more children, things would be different. She needed to learn more about Joseph's family so she proceeded to ask more questions, even if it was not a safe topic.

"How many grandchildren do you have?"

"There are seven so far and two on the way."

"I did not think you were old enough to have so many grandchildren." Surprise shown in Victoria's voice. The woman certainly did not look that old.

"Each of my boys had twin girls plus the oldest has another girl."

"Are they disappointed that they did not have boys."

"Not at all. They plan to have them on the farm as soon as they are old enough."

"What are their ages?"

"They range from three years to six months."

"I bet they enjoy playing together." At least she would think they would. She was an only child and had no idea what it was like to be part of a large family.

"They do. I want to prepare you. They will all be here for Easter."

What does she mean by prepare me. There was that tone again.

"What would you like me to do to help? Easter is in three days. I can bake cookies and cakes in advance. I can also bake several loaves of bread." Victoria started to feel sweat dripping down the back of her neck and was thankful that she was in the habit of keeping her hair down. Besides the stress warming her, the oven was warming the whole room. In order to keep her hands busy, she started spooning out cookie dough onto a sheet to bake.

"That all sounds wonderful. I am not much of a baker. You will be giving them a treat. The men will be roasting a pig. It seemed the easiest to feed so many people."

Victoria did not know what else to say. Did the others know about her past? Mr. and Mrs. Holmes knew something and it appeared they had kept their word and did not share her secrets with Joseph. Yet, it was only her second day there. She had been thinking all morning if she should tell him the day before they left. That way, if he did not want to be around her he could stay. Uncle Rock would send his belongings if he did not want to return. Maybe it would help to talk with Mr. and Mrs. Holmes. Pastor Mary listened to her story, but did not provide much counseling. He said her sins were forgiven, but offered no guidance on how to forgive herself.

"Victoria, I have an odd request to make. Feel free to say no if you do not like the idea."

Victoria stopped spooning out cookie dough and looked at Mrs. Holmes. For a moment she had forgotten the woman was still in the room since a bit of time had passed since she had last spoken. I sure hope she does not want me talking about my past. I want to enjoy the next two-week.

"What can I help you with Mrs. Holmes?"

"I want you to pretend you are my maid this weekend."

"Are you that ashamed of me? I know I made mistakes. I will take the first train back home. I am so sorry." Victoria started to put everything away. Victoria was almost out of the room before Jane found her voice.

"Victoria, I am not ashamed of you. It took great courage for you to go off on your own. If you ever would like to talk, I am here to listen and together we may find a way for you to forgive yourself."

"Then why do you want me to be your maid?" Victoria still had her doubts. She felt it unlikely that this woman wanted to help her.

"To protect you for my nosey children. I fear they will ask questions that you are not ready to answer."

"That is kind of you Mrs. Holmes. But Henry already knows who I am."

"Henry will keep our secret. The others are not expecting you. They will not know the difference. We have not shared anything about you."

"So you are ashamed of me." That must be what the tone in her voice is about. She is just pretending to like me.

"Victoria, please forgive me. I judged you harshly based on a little bit of information. It was a sin."

"What has changed? You still have the same information you did before." Victoria was not ready to accept her apology. She was not ready to blindly trust. Her instincts were telling her to be very cautious.

"Meeting you made the difference. You have your reasons why you left. When and if you want to share is up to you. God will use your actions for good. I lost sight of that."

"Do you really think I could pass as a maid?" It just may work. She would get to meet the rest of the family, even though she did not plan to marry Joseph. A bit of sadness crept into her soul. She could say all she wanted that she did not want to marry Joseph, but her heart knew that she did.

"Yes, I do. Your gray dress is very simple. It will be perfect for Sunday when everyone is here."

"Where will I stay?"

"I will ask the neighbor if she can have you stay there Saturday night. We will have Henry pick you up early Sunday morning,"

"What about services?"

"That may be an issue. I believe the neighbors attend services at a different church. Would that be a problem for you?"

"If you think that is for the best, and the neighbors agree; I do not have a problem." She would agree to just about anything for Joseph since she did not want him cutting his visit short on her behalf.

"I think this will work out perfectly. I will get the much needed help that I am truly grateful for and you will not have to share anything."

"Are you sure they will not ask questions? There is still time for me to return home." Victoria still had her doubts. She could return without Joseph.

"They will be curious that you are here, but they will not ask you any questions directly. Truly, Victoria, this is a blessing for me. I have not had everyone over all at the same time since the grandchildren were born. You will be a great help."

"I will do what I can. When will you be asking the neighbor?"

"I am going to do that right now."

Jane left the kitchen, leaving Victoria to her thoughts. Victoria went back to spooning out dough onto another sheet. She was thankful she had not put any in the oven before Mrs. Holmes had walked in. Lord, what is Mrs. Holmes up to? Is she really looking out for herself or me? She admitted she was ashamed of me.

That evening Jane shared her plans for Victoria with the family. Everyone put on a happy face for Victoria. Victoria knew Joseph and Mr. Holmes did not care for the idea. Joseph stayed in the house only long enough for his mother to reveal her plan. The neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, were delighted to have Victoria stay with them. Their own daughter was not able to make it in that year. Victoria still did not know what to think. Casting her off felt worse than just being tolerated. She needed time to think and pray since she wanted to stop running. A walk would have helped; however, it was a bit cold and Joseph was out there somewhere. Not knowing what else to do, she went to Joseph's room and spent the evening in prayer. I do not think she even wanted me here. What should I do? I know Joseph wants me here. Will he be able to keep his distance all Sunday? Maybe I can just get everything ready and spend the day with the neighbors.

Joseph had walked to the edge of the property before he realized it. He took off his coat to cool down in the chilly night air having walked so fast he was sweating and winded. What was his mother thinking? How could Victoria agree to this? She was more than the hired help for the weekend. Mother did not even want her there for church services.

It was very late by the time Joseph returned to the house. He had spent some of the time at the Johnson's. They warmed him up with coffee before asking any questions. Mrs. Johnson was always willing to listen when he had concerns that he could not share with his parents. His mother not liking Victoria was certainly a problem. Not spending Easter with Victoria was another. This was going to be her first Easter since accepting Christ. He knew she went to church as a child, but only because she had to.

With the recommendation of the Johnson's, Joseph agreed to attend the early morning service at their church with them and Victoria. Having attended services with them on several occasions, it was the perfect solution, especially since he preferred their church over the church his parents attended. Joy filled Joseph when they suggested it. He would be able to attend church with Victoria and stand next to her as they had planned. His mother was not going to take that away from him.

By the time he had reached home he had decided he did not want to do anything to cause more stress in Victoria's life and would check the train schedule to see when they could leave. A short visit was fine with him, since once he returned home; he realized he did not need his parents to be part of his day-to-day life. He would not have any issues staying in Mobile. Victoria was happier in the South. If they were to marry, they would not live up North near his parents.

"Is there anything I can do for you, Son?" Mr. Holmes asked as Joseph entered the parlor to get some sleep. He had been waiting comfortably in his chair reading the bible.

"I am fine. I just needed time to think." Joseph took a seat on the other side of the small table.

"Will you be going to church with Victoria?"

"Yes, sir." Joseph's reply was a bit timid. He did not want to disappoint his father.

"Good, I expected no less."

Joseph looked at his father, puzzled; the last thing he expected was his father to be happy about this.

"No need to look so surprised. It was my idea for you to leave."

"I thought it was Mom. Why did you want me to leave? I cannot believe you wanted me gone just to find a wife."

"That was your mother's idea. I wanted you to go so you could find God's will for your life. We were holding you back. You needed to be able to make these big decisions on your own."

"I am in love with her."

"I know. I believe she loves you too. Give her the time she needs to forgive herself. Then she should be able to share her story with you. Keep an open mind or you will lose her. God has already forgiven her. You will need to do the same. Take this time to get to know who she is now and do not worry about who she was. Have a good night. I will see you in the morning."

Joseph sat quietly thinking about what his father said. It was nice to know his father was supportive, but still thought it was best to leave. What was his mother up to insisting everyone celebrate Easter at their house knowing Victoria was going to be there? Was she trying to drive her away? She certainly succeeded with that, but she drove him away as well. He now understood why his brothers made their own traditions when they married and chose not to return to their parent's house.

Joseph decided he did not want to know what his mother's intentions were. God was in control. He would go to bed and hopefully sleep in; and that would require him to sleep on the floor in his room instead of the sofa. Trying not to wake Victoria, he slowly opened his bedroom door and walked in. She had not stirred as he grabbed a blanket off the chair and got comfortable on the floor under the window. Not wanting to be tempted to watch her sleep, he positioned himself to face the wall and hoped he would not turn over during the night.

Victoria woke at sunrise to find Joseph in the room. Normally she woke at the slightest sound. Quickly gathering some clothes, she went to the bathroom to change before Joseph could see her in her nightdress. Knowing Joseph, if he felt the need to sleep in his room, he must want to sleep late. She knew he was troubled by his mother's request as much if not more than she was. Victoria had spoken briefly with Mr. Holmes the night before when two hours had passed and there was no sign of Joseph. He assured her that he would be fine that he likely went to visit the neighbors. Once she finished her breakfast, she too would go visit the neighbors that were kind enough to take her in for Easter.

### / / /

"Where is everyone?" Jane asked her husband with a mildly gruff tone.

"Your sons are out on the farm like they always are at this time."

"I was not talking about them. I was talking about Joseph and Victoria. I am just glad the boys had business in town yesterday and that they did not come back to the house before going home."

"And why is that?"

"Bob, do not give me a hard time. You know the best thing is for Victoria to pretend to be our maid."

"Is it best? Joseph is very upset about it. He will be attending services with Victoria tomorrow. He has just returned and he is already ready to go home."

"He is home, Bob. I cannot imagine that he does not want to go to church with his mother. We have always gone together."

"Jane our son is out on his own now. This is God's will for him." Mr. Holmes kept a low, calm voice.

"How do you know?" snapped Jane. She was almost to tears.

"Victoria was up early. She already has two loaves of bread rising and baked a spice cake. With the ginger cookies and carrot cake she made yesterday, I do not believe there is anything else for her to do."

"Who is going to bake the bread? I cannot believe she left without finishing."

"I gave her directions on how to get to the Johnson's. She will be spending the day there. She left because I asked her to. I am more than capable of putting the loaves in the oven to bake. I believe it would be best for you to spend some time resting and reading your Bible."

Joseph was about to enter into the kitchen when he heard his parents talking. He stopped at the door and listened.

"Why is that? Can you blame me for not wanting her around? She is still married. What woman just leaves her husband?"

Joseph slowly entered the kitchen

"Victoria is stilled married?" asked Joseph in a low voice.

"Joseph, I did not want you to find out like this," stated Mr. Holmes.

Joseph was not in shock, but relieved. He knew she cared for him and now he knew why she could not commit. When she was ready to tell him, he would listen to why. Many possibilities world around as to why: such as that she did not love him, she married in haste, or he was unfaithful or mean.

"Mom, I thought you had changed your mind about Victoria. It does not matter. Nothing has changed."

"Everything has changed, Joseph. How can you consider a future with her?"

"I was led by God. If he wants us together, who am I to question? I do not plan to tell her that I know. When she is ready, she will tell me why. Unless you need me Dad, I would like to spend the day with Victoria. I am sure she could use a friend."

"She went to the Johnson's for the day. I suggest you bring Victoria's belongings with you. She will feel more comfortable over there."

"Thanks, Dad. I will be back for dinner so I can spend some time with you."

"I am looking forward to it."

Joseph packed his own bags along with Victoria's. If he stayed at the Johnson's, he may not need to leave until they were scheduled to. Of course, it would have to be OK with the Johnson's and Victoria. He was still prepared to leave early if necessary and actually hoped they would since he missed the work at the home and visiting with Uncle Rock. It would be Victoria's decision if they left early. His dad was proud of him for being out on his own, but he should not be. He was just following along.

Joseph hitched the buggy and loaded in their belongings. He never thought he would ever choose a woman over his parents. Things needed to be taken slowly since he had no experience. In time and with a lot of prayer, he would be ready to have Victoria as his wife if she would have him.

"Joseph I did not expect you to visit again so soon," replied Mrs. Johnson as she let Joseph in the house. She could still see the worry on his face. His friend, Victoria, had the same look when she arrived a few hours earlier.

"I hope you do not mind, Mrs. Johnson." Joseph seemed quite nervous.

"I do not mind. I do hope you brought your bags with you. If you are going to visit this much, you might as well sleep here."

"Thank you, Mrs. Johnson. You know me so well. The bags are in the buggy."

"Go unload and then put the horse in the corral."

Victoria was sitting quietly in the parlor reading the bible when Joseph arrived. She was delighted that he was there and would be staying. Maybe she could hold out until their scheduled departure. All she knew was she would not return to the Holmes' house as long as Mrs. Holmes was there. Mrs. Johnson was wonderful to talk to and was delighted to have her stay as long as she wanted, insisting that she was a guest and would not ask anything of her. It felt strange to sit back and relax and normally she would refuse such an offer; however, Mrs. Johnson made it feel appropriate, even when she made her a mid-morning snack.

Joseph walked quietly into the parlor after putting their bags in the rooms they would be staying in for the next week. He was thankful that the Johnson's were always so kind. Moments went by as Joseph watched Victoria reading before she noticed that he was in the room.

"Joseph, I hope you do not mind that I came over here this morning."

"I brought our bags." Joseph moved to sit down next to Victoria on the sofa. "We can leave whenever you would like. I am sorry I put you through this."

"It is not your fault Joseph. Your mother controls her own actions just like you and I. I will stay as long as you like."

"I would like to stay a bit longer to visit with my dad. He has been very supportive and I would prefer not to take time away from him." Joseph took Victoria's hand into his own needing to be close to her. "I miss Uncle Rock and the home." Frustration showed on his face and in his voice. "I keep changing my mind. What do you really want to do?"

"As long as I can stay here and not with your mother, I can wait until you are ready. I know how important your father is to you. I wish I had spent more time with my father when he was alive." Sadness welled up in her eyes. Joseph still holding Victoria's hand lifted her hand to his lips and gently kissed her knuckles.

"Thank you, Victoria. Unless something changes, we will leave at our scheduled time. That is if the Johnson's will have us that long."

"Joseph, Victoria, you can stay as long as you would like. The house seems a bit quiet since my daughter moved out. You two are answered prayers."

"Mrs. Johnson thank you for letting us stay. I would like to help. I do not think I can sit around for the next week."

"If you insist on doing something, you will have to wait until after Easter. I want to fill more useful for a change even if it is only for a few days."

"That sounds like a wonderful plan."

"What would you like me to do Mrs. Johnson?" asked Joseph.

"For starters, you can give Victoria a little more room on the sofa. Sitting that close and holding hands are for couples who are married." Joseph stood with his head hung low and sat in a nearby chair. Mrs. Johnson was right, not that it made it any easier to leave Victoria's side. He could still feel the warmth from her hand being in his own.

"Good. Mr. Johnson will have something for you after Sunday." Mrs. Johnson left the room smiling.

### / / /

The visit had been wonderful since Victoria and Joseph had stayed with the Johnson's. Joseph spent his evenings with his parents. His father was always delighted to see him, but his mother stayed reserved. Occasionally his father paid a visit in the mornings at the Johnson's to visit with Victoria. Joseph only sat in on the first visit. After that, his father requested the time alone with her. A bit of jealousy crept into his heart knowing Victoria was comfortable talking with his father when he wished to be the one providing comforting words and a shoulder to lean on. At times after his father left, Victoria spent the rest of the day in her room. His imagination was getting the best of him and he started to try to ease drop but Mrs. Johnson politely moved him along each time.

It was the night before they were to leave and he planned to ask her to share her story. He did not want to travel back without her knowing that he knew some of the story. Joseph walked into the kitchen where Victoria was busy slicing some cheese for an evening snack. Even though he knew what he wanted to say, he still did not have the courage. Several minutes went by with Joseph just inside the kitchen before Victoria noticed him.

"Is there something you need, Joseph?" Asked Victoria sweetly. Joseph did not reply. He had started rehearsing what he planned to say in his mind. "Joseph are you OK?" Asked Victoria a bit louder, but still with patience and warmth.

"Divorce your husband and marry me. I love you, Victoria."

"What did you say?" Victoria was in shock. She just could not believe that Joseph had just said those words. Despite secretly wanting him to propose, she never expected it after all the times she told him she could not marry him.

Joseph ran out of the kitchen and out the front door. What had he just done? That was not what he was going to say. Will she ever forgive me? Now what? How are we going to ride on the train together and live in the same house?

"Victoria was that Joseph that ran out of the house?"

"Yes, Ma' am."

"I am sorry, Victoria. I really thought he would understand."

Victoria did not know what to do. She had wanted to share, but never had the courage. Tears started to pool in her eyes. Mrs. Johnson walked up to her and gave her a hug.

"You are welcomed to stay here if you would like. I truly thought he would forgive you."

"I think he has. I just do not know how much he knows."

"Then why did he run off?"

"I think he was embarrassed. He told me to divorce my husband and marry him."

"I will have Mr. Johnson go find him. The two of you need to talk."

"I do not know if I am ready to tell him everything."

"Just be honest about what you can share. As far as I know, his parents do not know about your daughter. You will need to tell him before you start courting. He should know."

"I know. I am just not ready yet. I wish I knew how she was doing."

"It is not fair to your daughter for you to be in and out of her life. You have to make a decision."

"I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving her with her grandmother. Now, I am not sure. I have a job and a place to live. When I left her with my mother, I did not have anything."

"Are you ready to be a mother to her?"

"I think so."

"Then you need to find them and ask for forgiveness once you are positive. It will not be easy. She may not remember you. You need to prepare yourself for that. The most important thing is the welfare of the child."

"Tell me what I should do. I just do not know what is best."

"Have you prayed about it?"

"Not recently."

"Seek God's guidance."

"What if she is to be out of my life forever?"

"If that is the case, the Lord has a purpose. You will see that in time. Just keep praying."

"I will Mrs. Johnson. I am thankful for everything you have done for me."

"You are welcome, dear. Now, let me go get Mr. Johnson so he can find Joseph so the two of you can talk."

# Chapter 6

April 1902

Mobile, Alabama

"Are you going to tell Mr. Rockford that you are married?" Joseph asked timidly.

"Joseph we discussed this last night." Who does he think he is? Does he not listen? Victoria squeezed her eyes shut, blew out a ragged breath, counted to three, and then continued. "I will tell him what I feel I can tell him at this time. You know I did not share everything with you. I am not at peace about it. Please stop asking."

"Fine, I just wanted to know so I do not say anything in front of him that you are not ready for him to hear."

Victoria picked up her pace and walked ahead of Joseph. They were walking home just as they did when they first arrived. This time Victoria's shoes were comfortable. Joseph had a point about what she should share since they all lived in the same house. It would be best to share the same information with Mr. Rockford. That way, they would not have to keep secrets from each other. When the time was right, she would tell them the rest of it.

Joseph was hoping Victoria would share more with Mr. Rockford because it would leave the possibility of walking in on a conversation just like at his parents. It certainly helped matters. No telling how long it would have taken her to share that she was still married not a widow. At first he was delighted because it meant she could not marry him not that she did not want to. He spent a lot of time thinking about it on the way home and now he was full of doubt. Would she decide to just leave him if they were to marry? What was she running away from when they met? She had left her husband over a year ago. There was currently no record of a divorce. What was he going to do? He still loved her. That had not changed.

"I expected you to be more talkative on our walk home."

"I am sorry, Victoria. I was thinking."

"Would you like to share?"

"No."

With Joseph's short reply, Victoria picked up her pace again. The rest of the walk was done in silence. About the halfway mark, Victoria slowed her pace to match Joseph's and took his arm. The ground was a bit uneven and the last thing she wanted was to trip and fall. She would need to find the courage soon to tell Joseph about her daughter. He was already becoming distant, causing her to doubt that he understood why she left her husband. At times she was uncertain as to why, but knew she had to. Pastor Mary helped her to see that God had forgiven her and that it was best not to seek out her husband in person just to satisfy the guilt she felt from what she had done. A letter indicating that she was safe and to wish him well was what Pastor Mary recommended if there was to be any contact. Part of her wanted to see him, to beg for his forgiveness, since no matter what she did he always forgave her. There was no guarantee if she wrote that he would write back. Besides, it was likely he had already forgiven her without her even asking and moved on with his life. Her mind continued to hash out the what if's as they made their way home.

"Victoria, before we go inside I would like you to know we are still friends."

"Only friends?" Victoria asked softly.

"Things are different now. You are still married. There is still the chance you will go back to your husband. We cannot have the relationship we had. It was wrong for me to be so close, to hold your hand. I do love you, Victoria. It was wrong of me to ask you to leave your husband to marry me. Will you forgive me?"

"There is nothing to forgive, Joseph. I know I did not explain much before we left. I am still working up the courage. I am thankful for what you said. I will tell you everything. Just give me time."

"What are you afraid of Victoria?"

"You leaving."

"Have I given you any reason to think I would leave? I am the one that has to be concerned about you leaving."

"That was not nice Joseph. I told you from the start I could not marry you."

Joseph refrained from a terse reply. This was not the time for an argument.

"We should get inside. I am sure Mr. Rockford is expecting us."

"Fine. But we are not done talking."

Joseph picked up the bags that had been placed by the door earlier. They had asked the driver to leave them so as not to bother Mr. Rockford. Mr. Rockford was waiting for them in the parlor with fresh coffee and a plate of sliced meats, cheese, and bread.

Victoria quickly sat down next to Uncle Rock and gave him a hug. Joseph was more reserved. He was very happy to see Mr. Rockford, more so than seeing his parents and it bothered him. He needed to have a long talk with Mr. Rockford. He did not know if he could continue to live in the same house as Victoria.

"I see you are happy to be home."

"I am delighted to be home, Uncle Rock. Did you miss us?"

Uncle Rock paused before replying. He did not know why Victoria had been running away, but he was thankful to have her in his life now. "I missed both of you. The house was not the same."

"You just missed my cooking." Victoria did not want to give herself hope that he was fond of her.

"A little."

"Only a little. I thought you loved my cooking." Victoria's face showed shock. He certainly made sure he cleaned his plate every meal. How could he miss her cooking only a little?

With a loving, warm smile, Uncle Rock replied. "I do. After two days of fixing my own meals again, I hired a new cook."

Victoria stood quickly. She was outraged that Uncle Rock would replace her so quickly. Before she could run from the room, Joseph was by her side.

"Victoria, please sit. I am certain Uncle Rock is not asking you to leave."

"He is correct, Victoria. Please sit. I do not want you going anywhere. You are like a daughter to me."

Victoria plopped down on the sofa and Joseph remained standing nearby wanting to be close in case she needed him. It was the least he could do if he was planning to move out. He needed to be here for her now.

"You wanted to be more than just a cook and a maid. I want you to be more involved with the home. One day I would like you to take over my responsibilities."

Victoria did not know what to say. Uncle Rock wanted her. However, would he still want her after he learned the truth?

"I see I have left you speechless."

"I am not worthy. You do not know the things I have done."

"They do not matter. You have confessed your sins to God and work daily to be who God wants you to be. The past does not matter."

"But it does Mr. Rockford. The past is still part of Victoria's present."

"Victoria what is Joseph talking about? I have never seen you two so distant."

"I am married, Uncle Rock," Victoria stated softly as she looked down. She was not able to look at Uncle Rock when she responded in fear of seeing his disappointment on his face.

"I thought you were a widow. I do not understand."

Victoria stood and pushed her way past Joseph. He was not going to hold her here. She needed time to think. The secret was destroying everything. Lord, please give me courage and strength to tell them both everything.

"Joseph what do you know about this? I know you have some idea about what is going on."

"I do not know much more than what she just stated. She said she left her husband, that it was her fault, and nothing Lawrence did. There is more that she wants to tell us, but she indicated she was not ready. I know she needs help facing the secrets that are haunting her, but I cannot stay here any longer." Joseph was still standing next to the sofa with hands clenched at his sides.

"I have to say I am disappointed. I thought you loved Victoria and would forgive her."

"I do love her and forgive her. I am afraid that I may do something dishonorable. I want to be with her as my wife in every way. What if she does the same thing to me and leaves? I can imagine how Lawrence felt. He is still waiting for her to return. It has been over a year and he is still waiting. They are still married." A mixture of anger, sadness and fear flowed through his words.

"You must think I am heartless." Victoria had entered the room unaware. She was not in her room, but a minute or two when she felt she should return. It was time to stop running. Joseph just stared at her with tears in his eyes. He did not know what to think. Heartless was the last thing he thought of when he thought of Victoria.

"It is OK Joseph. You can be mad at me. I understand why you are afraid I will leave, but please do not leave on my account. It is my sin. If anyone should leave, it should be me."

"No Victoria. I do not believe that is the answer."

Mr. Rockford escorted Victoria from the doorway to the sofa. If it took all night, they would work this out.

"What do you think is the answer, Uncle Rock?"

"You need to do what you have been doing except the holding hands, hugs and innocent kisses. You both need to learn more about each other and yourselves. You need to let God take control."

"I do not think I can do this."

"What, Joseph. You cannot stand to look at me."

"Far from it. I want to be with you. All of you." Joseph stated boldly looking directly into Victoria's eyes.

Victoria blushed bright red. No one had been so bold as to tell her they wanted her in that way. She understood his longing since she wanted to be with him too; however, she was not going to make the same mistake twice. When the warmth of her cheeks faded, she spoke.

"Joseph please try to stay. I will keep my distance. I will tell you everything. I will understand if you want me to leave after you hear what I have done. I will be OK. Mrs. Johnson said I could move in with her and find work in town. I will not be running. I will not be able to stay if you do not want me here."

"Victoria please just tell us and give us time to pray. I am sure we can work things out," stated Joseph.

"OK. I married Lawrence shortly after my father died. We had been seeing each other for about a month. We traveled north right away. I just could not stay there. My father was gone. My world revolved around him. I do love my mother. I was just closer to my father."

"I am sure your mother understood." Uncle Rock softly replied.

"I do not think she did. She allowed the marriage, but was not happy about it. She said I needed time to grieve before starting a life of my own. I accused her of just wanting me to be there to work in the boarding house and that she was not looking out for me. I was sad and angry. Only Lawrence was able to make me smile and bring me comfort. I needed him. He went along with whatever I asked of him."

"Then why did you leave?" asked Uncle Rock.

"Things were OK at first. We stayed a few nights in each town as we traveled north. We decided to settle in Sunder. That is when things changed for me."

"Was he mean to you?"

"Not at all. He loved me, but I realized I did not love him. I started to feel overwhelmed. My grief became more intense." Victoria started looking towards the hallway.

"Why was that?" Mr. Rockford was hoping to keep her talking and share everything with them that night.

"He started to remind me of my father."

"Why was that a bad thing?"

"I did not want to be around anything or anyone that reminded me of him. Pastor Mary says I was in denial. I felt better when there was nothing of my fathers around. I do not know why I was so moody and tired once we settled. Prior to that, I was doing very well."

"When did you leave Lawrence?"

"Right after Christmas. He had been so kind and generous. He decorated the house with homemade decorations to make me feel more at home."

"Did you feel more at home?"

"Yes, that was the problem. I was not at home. I could never go home. It would just not have been the same with my father gone."

"What did you do after you left?"

"I took a transport boat to the next town. I did not want to spend too much money. I had no idea what I was going to do. I just knew that leaving was my only option at the time."

"Did you find work right away?"

"I did not have to."

"How did you provide for yourself?"

"When I went to the closest hotel to the docks, I met a man in his forties. He was very charming and offered me a place to stay."

"I am assuming you took his offer?"

"Yes, I did. Same as I did with your offer only I was unfaithful." Shame showed in her eyes, but at the moment there were no tears.

Mr. Rockford handed Victoria a fresh cup of coffee and smiled. "I am sorry your moment of weakness has caused you such pain. It may help if you explain the circumstances. We may be able to help you find peace."

"I do not remember being unfaithful."

"Then why do you believe you were?"

"I had a child."

Victoria looked down as a tear ran down her cheek. Surely they would want her to leave now. She was a sinner. Joseph's face showed a moment of shock before schooling his features.

"Victoria, I would like us to talk about why you do not remember."

"Why does it matter? I had to be."

"What happen that night?"

It was several minutes before Victoria had the courage to continue. She kept her eyes focused on her cup of coffee and slowly drained the cup. Setting the cup down, she continued.

"It was my first night. Samuel was kind. We had wine with our meal. I have no idea how much I drank. It was my first experience drinking wine. The next morning I woke up alone in his bed. My clothes had been changed and my traveling dress draped on a nearby chair."

"Did you ever talk about it?"

"He wanted to. I was too ashamed. He allowed me to stay until I could find a job and manage on my own. Then I found out I was pregnant and he allowed me to stay until after the baby was born."

"When was the baby born?"

"August."

"When in August?"

"August first!"

"Was the baby, OK?"

"Of course. Gloria was such a big healthy girl. Slept well," replied Victoria with a bit of longing in her voice that she did not expect.

"Victoria, when did you leave your husband?"

"I told you. Right after Christmas."

"Victoria, do you know how long a woman is normally pregnant?"

"Of course, nine months. My mother explained all of that to me."

"Then Samuel cannot be the father unless Gloria was born early."

"What are you saying Uncle Rock?" Victoria paled. Could the child be Lawrence's? Is it possible she did not have an affair? Samuel kept insisting the maid helped her into her nightdress. Did she give up her marriage and daughter for nothing?

"Uncle Rock is Lawrence the father of my child?"

"I believe so, Victoria. Where is your daughter?"

"I left her with my mother."

"What did your mother say?"

"I do not know. I left a note. The boat captain offered to bring her down into the cabin to stay warm. I put a note in her bag and placed it by the door. My mother would have seen the note when she opened the door."

"What did you do after that?"

"I got off the boat as quickly as I could and took the first train out of there. I was so ashamed of what I had done. I had no way of taking care of myself. At the time, I felt I could not go back to Lawrence. I thought I gave birth to another man's child. I know my mother would take good care of her."

"What do you plan to do now?" asked Joseph

"I do not know. Should I go find them?" Victoria was overwhelmed with the discovering and started to look frantic.

"Only you can answer that question, Victoria. You need to pray about this and seek God's guidance. You will be disrupting your daughter's life if you seek her out and then leave again. You have to be sure."

"I would like to spend some time alone in my room if that is Ok with you Uncle Rock."

"That is a good idea. I will come get you when it is time to eat."

"Thank you Uncle Rock."

Victoria left the room in deep thought. She had a big decision to make. Falling in love with Joseph was not what she planned when she left, especially since she never felt that strongly about Lawrence. Even though she did not bond with Gloria and still did not feel ready to be a mother, she still wondered if she should seek her out. It truly bothered her not bonding with her child and not longing to be with her.

Upon entering her room, the tears that had been pooling in her eyes began to fall. She was sad and happy at the same time. It was a relief that her secret was out. Joseph would help her decide. If Joseph still wanted to be with her, she would stay. Victoria changed into her nightdress and climbed into bed. She had missed the soft, worn sheets with the blue flowers. The pillow had just the right height to cradle her head. After a night's rest she would feel better. Maybe she was already dreaming. What happened to her carefree life before her father passed away?

### / / /

"Mr. Rockford will Victoria be OK?"

"She will in time. You will need to give her time and distance yourself. She has to make the decision to stay without us interfering. The weather is much nicer. I think it would be best if you camp out at the construction site."

"How long do I need to stay away?"

"As long as Victoria needs to decide. We will see you on Sunday for services."

"Do I have a choice?"

"Not if you wish to continue working for me."

"I will go pack the rest of my things so I can leave first thing in the morning."

"It will be best if you leave tonight."

He had to decide if he still wanted to be with such a woman. Thee without sin cast the first stone. I know Lord, but I do not know what to do. The construction will keep him busy. Joseph entered his room and smiled briefly. It was definitely more his, then his room at his parents, but now he had to leave. He hoped Mr. Rockford would not change anything while he was gone.

Joseph decided to walk along side his horse since the horse was carrying a heavy load of supplies out to the job site. He was not expecting to have to live out here this soon. The comforts of living in Mr. Rockford's house would be missed. Roughing it for the next several weeks would give him time to think about what he was doing with his life and if Victoria was to be an intimate part of it. How could she have given up her child? There had to be a reason. Victoria is such a loving person. It is possible she gave up the child because she thought she had been unfaithful. Regardless, he had to see if he could move forward and not stress over her past. He certainly did not want to risk being left and never knowing his child. Lord, I pray this is all part of your plan and that you have reunited Gloria with her father.

Joseph found a suitable spot to set up the tent. Knowing he would not have time to build a fire to cook a meal, he packed two sandwiches and an apple for his dinner. As he was erecting the tent, he reflected back to when he was a teenager and his father stressed the importance of surviving during hard times. His father reminded him that no one ever knows when hard times will come and to always be prepared. Every season they camped out on the land for at least a week to hone their skills. He would write to his father that night to thank him.

Sitting on the ground inside the tent, Joseph mentally thought through what and where everything would go in his new home. Over the next two weeks in his spare time he would build the needed furniture, starting with a small table and chair. For now, he had to be content with sleeping on the floor. With the letter to his father complete, he rolled out his bedroll and placed the small pillow in its proper place. After saying grace, he ate his plain, but fulfilling meal and went to bed.

### / / /

"Uncle Rock, I have not seen Joseph this morning. Did he go to the job site earlier than usual? I thought he would be eating with us this morning."

Uncle Rock placed his coffee cup down, but did not reply.

"Uncle Rock are you OK?"

"I am fine Victoria. I told Joseph last night that he was to move to the job site. I informed him we would see him on Sundays."

Victoria sat down in a nearby chair. She did not know what to think. Was he going to send her away too?"

"You did not have to send him away. I told you I would leave. Why are you punishing him? I am the sinner."

Victoria closed her eyes, dropped her head and placed her hands over her eyes. This is why she had not said anything. They think differently of her. Not that she blamed them for their reaction since she still did not know why she did any of it. Now that everyone new, maybe a talk with the doctor would provide some insight. A flicker of hope touched her heart. She looked back up at Uncle Rock.

"Victoria. I am not punishing him. I want you to stay. I need you to learn the business. I certainly was not going to ask you to go live on the job site."

A small laugh escaped her lips. She certainly could not image such a thing. She was too spoiled with the modern ways of life.

"I do not understand you Uncle Rock. If you want me to learn the business than I will have to work with Joseph."

"Yes, you will be working with him. You will not be living in the same house with him. I will be with you whenever you need to meet with Joseph."

"So you do not trust me. I should have known. Why do you think it took so long to tell you?"

Victoria stood and walked to the stove. She needed a bit of space. She was thankful the cook had the morning off. She was certain Uncle Rock planned it that way to allow her time to adjust. She would meet Miss Jenny Walldon on Monday since tomorrow was Sunday. He insisted she not work on Sundays.

"Actually, Victoria, it did not take that long, only a few months. You could have tormented yourself for years with the secret."

"I guess you are right, Uncle Rock."

Mr. Rockford interrupted her before she could say anything else. "Victoria, please have a seat. I will fix us some bacon and eggs for breakfast. You have the day to yourself to do what you want. We will see Joseph tomorrow at church. I do trust you Victoria. However, you are a married woman and it is best for Joseph to keep his distance. You have to decide what you are going to do about your marriage and your child. There cannot be any outside influences. I do not want your feelings for Joseph to make you decide to do something you will later regret. It would not be fair to you or Joseph."

"Very well Uncle Rock. I will stay for now. I cannot promise for how long."

"I know you now have options Victoria. Do not do anything without thinking it through and praying for God's guidance."

"I promise Uncle Rock. I will not leave in the middle of the night. You have my word."

# Chapter 7

May 1902

Victoria woke early the first Saturday in May. It had been nearly a month since she had spoken with Joseph. She caught glimpses of him at church on Sundays; however, he was always gone before she had a chance to speak with him. The job site was not any different. Due to the rain she had had only one opportunity to go out to the job site and he was determined to ignore her. At least it appeared that way.

He had changed greatly in that month. Along with his shaggy hair, he now sported a full beard. His skin was well tanned and his shoulders much broader. While she thought that he would mostly be overseeing the work, his outward appearance indicated that he was doing physical labor. She had yet to touch his hands but was able to see how callused they had become. Hers had started to return to their prior softness since she no longer had to cook and clean all day. Her days were spent looking over the ledgers, reading and learning as much as she could about the feeble-minded so she could manage the home successfully.

Victoria slipped out the front door wrapped in a dark gray shawl covering a lightweight linen blouse. It was still a bit cool in the mornings, but would warm considerably by the afternoon when she would make her way back home. While she had not yet decided what to do about her daughter, she had learned what might have contributed to her behavior. She had met with Dr. Benjamin on several occasions over the past month and he determined the issues were most likely her hormones from being pregnant. At first, she did not want to believe. He provided her literature to read on his second visit and returned a week later to answer questions. Many of the things she felt were described in the information he had provided. It was all starting to make sense and she was desperate to tell Joseph that it was not her fault so that he could forgive her and be friends again.

### / / /

Joseph rose early as usual and started a fire in the small stove. One thing he was not willing to give up was his coffee. He missed the days of being able to just walk into the kitchen and have a cup sitting on the table next to a hearty breakfast. Having someone take care of those things had been wonderful and he was repentant for taking it for granted. The last month had humbled him greatly. It truly was the first time he was responsible for caring for all of his needs. He missed Victoria, but the longing to be with her was starting to fade. At times when he sat down to breakfast with his coffee and bible in hand, he thought that maybe what he loved about Victoria was that he did not have to do for himself. That certainly was not the love he wanted for a wife and was thankful for the time apart.

Breakfast was no different from any other day with plenty of rich coffee and crispy eggs. Wanting to enjoy the chill of the air a bit more, he had slipped on his shirt, but had not buttoned it. The warmth of the day would be upon them once the sun was up over the nearby trees. Sitting down at the small table he built, in the tent he now called home, he leisurely ate his breakfast as he read and prayed. He had just sat back down with a second cup of coffee when he heard a twig break just outside the tent. Before he had a chance to investigate, Victoria was inviting herself into his home.

Upon her eyes adjusting to the light in the tent, Victoria blushed crimson all the way to her ears at the sight of Joseph's bare hairy chest. She could not recall the last time she had seen him like this if ever. Joseph stood there speechless. The last thing he expected was for Victoria to make the long walk and in the dark at that. It was at least another half an hour before the sun was due up.

"Victoria is anything wrong with Mr. Rockford. I certainly did not expect to see you this early in the morning." Joseph quickly buttoned his shirt, but made no effort to tuck it in. If she blushed at the sight of his bare chest, he certainly was not going to unbutton his trousers to tuck his shirt in. She surely would faint at the sight.

Victoria remained standing in the entrance not sure if she should stay or leave. It took great courage to make the walk in the dark. She longed to hear Joseph's voice. Now, she did not know if she could control her emotions. After all, she was still a married woman. The last thing she wanted to do was cheat on her husband. The sight of him stirred emotions deep within her.

Joseph walked up to Victoria, but did not touch her. Inhaling her lovely scent and perusing her delicate curves caused the feelings he thought were fading to come rushing back. How he missed being close to her and talking with her. He was about to wrap his arms around her when she took a step back.

"Joseph everything is just fine with Uncle Rock. I have missed you so much and could not go another day without talking with you." Victoria took a step around him and sat on the opposite side of the small table from where Joseph had been sitting. She needed a little distance from him. Her body tingled at his closeness. He smelled of strong coffee and the outdoors.

"Does Mr. Rockford know that you are here?"

"No, he does not. He has been keeping us apart."

"It is for the best, Victoria."

"How can you say that?" Tears started to pool in her eyes. She had longed to be near him and now he was agreeing with Uncle Rock that they should stay apart. How could he side with him?

"Victoria are you still married?"

"Of course I am. What does that have to do with anything?"

Joseph took a moment to collect his thoughts. He walked over to the shelf next to the stove, grabbed the only other cup, and proceeded to pour Victoria a cup of coffee. Being with her was not an option. She was married. Setting the cup on the table next to her, he sat down in his chair. Tension was building as he sat there silently sipping his coffee. Victoria had yet to drink hers or look away.

"Victoria you being married has everything to do with it. I will not have a relationship other than friendship with you. You are not available. That is the truth of it. You must still care for Lawrence or you would have already sought him out for a divorce. "

"I will always care for Lawrence. Joseph, I needed time to think everything through. There is more at stake that just Lawrence and I. I have my daughter to think about."

"The daughter you abandoned." Joseph regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. There were likely many reasons she gave her daughter up to her mother. It was not his place to judge.

"So that is how you want to be. Fine! I thought you missed me as much as I missed you. There are reasons that explain why I did what I did. When you are ready to listen, come find me." Victoria stood with as much calm as she could and walked out of the tent. This certainly was not how she had expected it to go. She had hoped to explain all that the doctor had told her and what she had read. Between her hormones and grieving the loss of her father, she did not have the control over her actions that she needed.

Before Joseph could find the words to apologize, she was gone. He was not going to chase after her. Her reasons may be valid; however, until she was single again none of it mattered. Courting a married woman no matter how much he wanted to be with her was just not an option.

Their conversation was rehashed repeatedly in her mind as she rushed home in half the time. Today was not turning out as she hoped. She hoped to explain that it was not her fault, that she was not ready to make a decision and that she sought his forgiveness. The guilt was pressing down on her like a heavy leaden weight, especially with him reminding her that she was still married and would not have anything to do with her. If that was the case, maybe she should seek out Lawrence and Gloria and rejoin the life that she left behind now that she was better. But, would they take her back?

Uncle Rock was enjoying a cup of coffee when Victoria entered the kitchen with flushed cheeks upon her return. Victoria sat down at the table in her usual spot. Miss Jenny placed a plate of food and a cup of coffee in front of her.

"Good morning, Miss Victoria. Would you be needing anything else this morning?"

"Good morning, Miss Jenny. This will be just fine. I am sorry I am late for breakfast. Do you have any plans for the day?"

"Just my usual cooking and cleaning. I will be stopping by the job site later to bring Mr. Holmes a fresh batch of cookies."

Miss Jenny Walldon was a wonderful addition to the household. Besides her cooking skills far exceeding her own, she was always polite and full of energy. She was a lovely woman who was just as slender as herself, although a head taller with short black hair and dark gray eyes. Victoria guessed by the slight crow's-feet and her remarkable wisdom that she was at least ten years older. While she did not share much about her personal life, Miss Jenny did inform them that she never married. Victoria could not get the courage to ask why. Miss Jenny did not live on the property, but arrived early in the morning and left just after preparing the evening meal. There certainly was not any reason to be jealous of her baking cookies for Joseph; however, she was feeling jealous nonetheless.

"Miss Victoria is everything OK. I can fix you something else if you would like." Victoria quickly schooled her features. She had not realized that her emotions were showing.

"Everything is wonderful as usual, Miss Jenny." Victoria smiled as brightly as she could. Miss Jenny smiled back and then went back to the sink to finish washing the dishes.

Uncle Rock lingered in the kitchen. He was on his third cup of coffee before Miss Jenny left the room.

"Victoria, I need your help with something."

Victoria was puzzled. What would Uncle Rock need her help for.

"Certainly Uncle Rock."

"I need help understanding why you risked your safety to defy my wishes."

"I do not understand." Victoria decided she was not going to admit to anything. It was not as if she had a pleasant talk with Joseph anyway and was best forgotten.

"Victoria you are a smart woman; however, you are controlled by your emotions at times. You are well aware that I do not want you seeing Joseph by yourself, yet you snuck out like a thief this morning and did just that. Should we be expecting another child in nine months time?"

"How could you say such a thing? I am not like that and you know it." Victoria was stunned. He implied she was a thief and a whore. "I will have my bags packed and out of here before the end of the day. It is clear you do not trust me."

"On the contrary. It is you who does not trust me. I certainly do not believe you are a thief or with child Victoria. I had to know you were listening to me. You were not in the past or you would never have had such disregard for my feelings or your welfare to run off like that."

"The walk was perfectly safe and you know it." Victoria was not ready to back down or admit that the walk had terrified her at times.

"You know the walk is not perfectly safe. Anyone one or thing could be roaming around out there looking for an easy target."

"There you go again calling me easy. That is what you think of me. Some cheap whore."

"If I thought that Victoria, I would never have asked you to stay in my house or take over my business. I feel at times you must think of yourself that way or you would not be so sensitive to it. I love you like a daughter and only want the best for you. You need time to heal and decide on your own what you want. You need to keep your distance."

Tears started to stream down her cheeks. She certainly was in an emotional state today and had to learn how to deal with it. A decision needed to be made before Joseph found someone else.

"Victoria, why did you go see Joseph this morning?"

"I wanted to tell him that it was not my fault. It was my hormones. That is what the doctor said. I am not a crazy woman who abandons her child."

"Did he not believe you?"

"I never got the chance to tell him. He is hung up on the fact that I am married."

"Can you blame him for that? It has been more than a year since you last saw your husband."

Victoria took the linen napkin from her lap and dried her face. The tears had slowed and she started to settle some. Uncle Rock was right. Who could blame him? I am holding on to a man that I left while I desire to be with someone else. Why can I not follow through with the divorce?

"You are right, Uncle Rock. I just do not know why I have not followed through with the divorce. I long to be with Joseph. I miss our talks and the way he wrapped his arms around me, gentle yet firm. I could feel the strength and comfort in his arms"

Uncle Rock started to blush.

"Have you prayed about it?"

"Not recently."

"Then that is where you need to start. I will talk with Joseph today about your visit this morning. It is important for him to know that there were factors in your behavior; however, you still have a decision that you must make. You cannot stay in the past."

### / / /

Joseph was still in his tent berating himself when he felt the cool air from the tent flap moving as Mr. Rockford gingerly entered. He had not managed to motivate himself after the confrontation with Victoria.

"I hear you had an eventful morning."

"Good morning, Mr. Rockford. Would you like a cup of coffee?"

"No thank you, Joseph. I have information to share."

"Victoria informed you we squabbled this morning." Joseph was trying to belittle the event even though it affected him down to his soul. Formal and structured was the key anytime emotions needed to be held at bay.

"I am just here to share information not make any judgments. I also wanted you to know that I knew she was here. From the looks of both of you, you are both distraught. I will get to the point. Victoria wanted you to know that when she was pregnant and after giving birth it was her hormones that contributed to her actions."

"That does not explain why she has not sought a divorce."

"No, it does not." Mr. Rockford had no desire to dwell on the issue. "How is the main house coming along?"

"Splendidly. I will be thankful when it is done in two months so that I can move in."

Mr. Rockford chuckled. He could imagine how difficult the last month had been living in a tent.

"I know it is comical. It has also been humbling. I am a better man for it and thank you for putting me in this position. I am also thankful that you have kept me apart from Victoria. After all, I am a man with primal urges; however, the good Lord would not want me acting on them in the current situation. This distance has been a blessing."

Mr. Rockford rapped Joseph on the back and chuckled loudly.

"I am delighted the good Lord prevailed. Will I see you tomorrow for church?"

"No, sir. I have decided to attend a different church that is a little closer. Mr. Fredrick, the carpenter, invited me to attend with his family."

"I am sure it is for the best. I will let Victoria know."

### / / /

Victoria had watched from her bedroom window as Uncle Rock strode off toward the job site. She needed to follow Uncle Rock's guidance and pray. Would it make a difference? She prayed all the time and still no answer came. Should she continue to trust in a God that failed to answer prayers?

"Mrs. Victoria sometimes the answer is no."

Victoria held her breath. Had she been talking aloud?

"I know you are struggling Mrs. Victoria. I cannot say I know what it is like to be married. I can only tell you just because you do not have the answer you asked for does not mean the Lord did not answer. Maybe it is not time for Lawrence to be divorced even though it may be time for you. The decision does affect more than just you. God has a plan. You need to trust that he knows best." Miss Jenny did not wait for a response. She moved down the hallway at her usual quick pace.

Miss Jenny just may be right. Again, Victoria looked out the window. Uncle Rock was no longer in sight. She hoped that Joseph would understand. Of course, it did not change the fact that she was still married and would be for a long time it seemed. Keeping busy with the business was the key along with not see Joseph at all for a while. The thought tore at her heart. She yearned for him, desired him. "Lord, help me."

# Chapter 8

August 1902

"Uncle Rock, I do not see Joseph. I expected him to be here to showcase the first house being completed."

"Victoria is there something the matter with your eyes these days. Joseph is right there."

Victoria looked where Uncle Rock was pointing and saw a dark tanned man with nearly buzz cut hair and clean shaven in his best finery sporting a gray suit accented with a burgundy tie. He looked nothing like he did three months prior. Victoria had been mentally more stable since not seeing Joseph. While her heart still longed to be with him, she was coming to terms with now was not the correct time for them to be together. There was much more that the two of them needed to accomplish before they could have a life together. This home became her life and the people living here by the end of the year her future family.

Uncle Rock was true to his word about teaching her the business aspect. It was amazing how many contacts he had with wealthy entrepreneurs willing to invest in a home for the feeble-minded the way Uncle Rock wanted to run it. There was so much hate in the world for those who were different, not just feeble-minded, but also poor. In her studies on feeble-minded, she read about children being abandoned at institutions by their parents. Some children were left because the parents could not care for them and others it seemed the parents did not want them. These stories were a reminder of what she had done and she was thankful that she could atone for her own sins.

After several visits from Dr. Benjamin, visits with Pastor Mary, and hours of prayer the nagging guilt of leaving her daughter was starting to lessen. Dr. Benjamin told her there were not enough case studies to know if she would have ever bonded with her child. He assured her that a loving home was more important than a home with the birth mother. Pastor Mary reminded her often that the Lord has a plan and he needed her to be just the way she was. There was a reason for everything and that she needed to be open to everything he had to offer.

Joseph caught Victoria staring and chuckled softly. He had looked her way several times since she had arrived for the opening of the house and she kept looking right past him. While he knew he looked different then she had ever seen him, it was purely by accident. His parents would likely have a difficult time picking him out in a crowd. Normally he would have never requested such a look. Mr. Rockford had insisted that he have his hair professionally cut for the event and informed him where to go. Since Mr. Rockford was paying, he could not object. There would be a photographer present and he needed to look his best. It was very important that they receive positive publicity and he did not want to do anything to make Mr. Rockford look bad. Joseph arrived on schedule and requested just a little trim to his hair and beard. The rugged look kept him from having to have it cut more often. The barber had a different idea. Before Joseph could object, almost all of his shaggy blond hair was removed. With the hair removed from his head, he had no choice but to have his beard shaved off. When the barber had completed his task, he commented that Otis would surely be pleased with the results he requested. Joseph could not wait to have a talk with Mr. Rockford about setting him up. After all, he was a grown man and should be able to choose his own look.

Joseph waited until Victoria blushed and looked away before proceeding with the conversation he was having with Samuel. The last three months had been so busy he hardly thought of her during the day. The nights were a very different story. He woke many mornings panting for breath from yet another wild dream with the lovely Victoria.

"Joseph are you feeling alright?"

"Yes Samuel, I am just fine." He knew that he had blushed bright red in his cheeks. He after all was a man with only experience in his mind. He made sure to keep company with men that did not discuss such personal matters. It certainly was not proper to be discussing what happened in the bedroom.

"So, she is the lady you have told me about." Samuel grinned from ear to ear. He had heard a few stories about the lovely yet frustrating Mrs. Victoria Winslow. She certainly was lovely with her blond hair blowing gently across her lightly tanned shoulders. Her curves would turn any man's head.

"It is not polite to stare, Samuel." At least he was not the only one that looked at her that way at first sight.

Samuel jumped and gave Joseph a knowing look.

"I told you what she looked like." Joseph grinned and chuckled softly.

"I know. No wonder you have had trouble getting her out of your mind."

"Do not let Eve hear you saying things like that."

"Like what?" asked Eve as she approached the gentleman. She eyed her husband intently waiting for a reply.

"We were discussing Victoria." Samuel lowered his head. He knew better than to discuss things of this nature around others, not that they were doing anything wrong. Just best not to so others would not get the wrong impression.

"Where is the lovely Victoria that I have heard so much about? I am looking forward to meeting her."

Joseph nodded his head in the direction and Eve followed his look.

"The short blond next to Mr. Rockford."

"Yes."

"She is lovelier than I imagined. You two need to find something else to discuss. I am going to introduce myself."

Eve left without a backward glance. The men smiled as she walked away. She was such a charming woman. Joseph could not have found a better couple to spend Sunday's with. Wise beyond her years in the ways of the Lord, she provided weekly scripture based advice on how to handle his feelings with Victoria.

### / / /

Mr. Rockford saw Eve approaching and thought it would be best for him to do the introductions. "Victoria, I would like you to meet Mrs. Eve Fredrick. She is the wife of Samuel, our carpenter on the project."

Victoria did not know what to think. Eve was strikingly beautiful with her chestnut colored hair, golden brown eyes, and slender figure. She could see why Joseph enjoyed spending time with her. Jealousy sparked. Just because a woman was married did not mean she was faithful.

Mr. Rockford placed his hand on Victoria's shoulder to prompt her for a reply.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Fredrick."

"The pleasure is all mine. You should both come for dinner tomorrow evening. I insist. It has been far too long since we have had a gathering. The construction has kept Samuel very busy. We are personally invested in the project. My sister, Ada, will be the first resident. She will be moving in next week. The entire crew is delighted to have someone to cook on site."

Victoria was not sure how to reply. There would be a woman on the job site every day. She needed an excuse to get away for a moment to collect her thoughts, but how. Joseph and Samuel had been watching the exchange and quickly made their way to them as they watched the color drain from her face.

Joseph wrapped his arm gently around Victoria's waist and placed a gently kiss on the top of her head. She still refused to wear a hat. "Victoria, I am delighted you are here. We should go take a walk and talk before the festivities begin. May I interest you in a glass of lemonade?"

"That would be lovely, Joseph." Victoria allowed Joseph to escort her to a more secluded area beneath a row of southern pines.

"Samuel have I done something wrong?"

"Think nothing of it, dear. From what Joseph has told us about Victoria, she tends to be overly emotional when it comes to her feelings for him. I would gather she is jealous of your sister being able to spend time with him."

"I believe you are correct in your statement, Samuel."

"Considering the new circumstances, Mr. Rockford, I believe it would be best to withdraw the dinner invitation."

"Eve it would be for the best. I will let you know when it is a good time."

### / / /

Once they were in a secluded place amongst the trees, Joseph stopped walking and faced Victoria.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Joseph why do you ask that? I am perfectly fine." She was nothing but fine. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of him and her knees grew week at his touch. The thought of him being near another woman angered and frightened her at the same time. Today was proof that Mr. Rockford knew best that they keep their distance. After all, she was still married. She prayed daily on it and still the only answer she felt God was providing was not yet.

"You were white as a ghost when Mrs. Fredrick was talking with you. What did she say that upset you?"

"Nothing." What was she to say? She was jealous of someone she had never met. She had no claim on Joseph.

Joseph watched as she closed her eyes and took several breaths. He knew she was not telling the truth and he would just have to ask Mr. Rockford. This was not the place or time to press her.

"You look lovely, Victoria. I have missed you."

Victoria remained silent. Her voice would betray her if she spoke. Joseph could see the torment of emotions crossing her face.

"I can see by your expression that you missed me too. I noticed you did not recognize me. You can blame Mr. Rockford for that. He set me up with the barber. Do you like the new look?"

Victoria moved her head side-to-side taking in his new look. She had not allowed her eyes to linger too much before. Now that he was asking, she would take advantage of being close, wanting to lock the new image into her mind. It certainly was different. He looked older than she remembered and stuffy. The rugged look was what originally attracted her to him, especially when he had the full beard.

"Does your lack of response mean you do not like it?" Joseph leaned in close, only a few inches from her face. Their eyes locked and they held each other's gaze. Her stomach began to have butterflies and her mouth began to water. A rush of emotions filled her. Before she could get a handle on them, she grabbed Joseph by the suit collar and pulled him in for a passionate lingering kiss. He kissed her back just as passionately wrapping his arms around her and pulling her in close. For a moment, they were not aware of anything or anyone around them. Victoria released her hold slowly and laid her head on his shoulder. Her senses returned a moment later and she quickly moved away, brushing her hand on her lips.

"I am terribly sorry about that Joseph. I did not have any right to do that. Please forgive me."

Joseph sighed deeply.

"I forgive you Victoria. I need you to forgive me. I should not have been so willing. It is best that we keep our distance."

"I am so sorry Joseph. I do forgive you and agree with you."

"We should be getting back. I am sure the ceremony will be starting soon."

"Before we go, I need to tell you something."

"It can wait Victoria." His tone was harsh. The longer he stood near her, the harder it was not to whisk her away. His body was telling him one thing, but his heart knew better.

Victoria held her breath for just a moment, ignoring his tone and then grabbed his arm. "Joseph it cannot wait."

Joseph removed her hand from his arm and waited for her to continue.

"I pray daily for when it will be best to divorce Lawrence."

"And."

"And. The Lord is telling me, not now. I am ready to move on Joseph. I love you. This is bigger than just the two of us. It is not time yet."

Joseph searched her face intently, trying to see if he could read the truth in her eyes.

"When did you realize you were ready to move on and that you no longer wanted to be married to Lawrence?"

"I believe I have been ready for a long time. I knew for certain the moment I kissed you. I know I am a sinner Joseph. I am married."

Joseph smiled from ear to ear. He was now certain that he would have Victoria as his wife, someday. He was willing to wait even if it took years.

"What are you smiling at?"

"I am smiling at you. I love you too, Victoria. I can wait. However, we need to keep our distance. We should join the others."

As they approached the group they went their separate ways with Victoria in search of lemonade and Joseph in search of Mr. Rockford.

"Is Victoria alright? I appreciate you removing her from the situation."

Mr. Rockford was studying Joseph trying to figure out what was out of place when Samuel walked up.

"Fix your tie, Joseph. You look like you were rolling around on the ground. How is Victoria?"

Joseph consciously adjusted his tie and confirmed his suit was still in order.

"Victoria is just fine. She just needed something to drink. What was Eve talking about Mr. Rockford when we walked up?"

"Eve was informing us that Ada would be moving in next week. I believe Victoria was jealous. It was a good thing you walked up when you did. I do not think she is very fond of your wife Samuel."

"They just need some time together," replied Samuel.

"I do not think that is a good idea right now," replied Joseph. He needed their friendship and time away from Victoria. Victoria, becoming friends with Eve was not something he wanted at this time, later when she was divorced and free to marry.

Samuel took a moment to take in Joseph's response looking at him intently in the face and noticed his lips were more red than usual. Something else happened that the two of them needed to discuss and pray about in private. He would not out him.

"Very well Joseph. I understand. I assume we will still see you tomorrow for dinner after services."

Joseph was flooded with relief. He certainly did not want to explain himself in this crowd.

"Yes, Samuel. I am looking forward to it. Be sure to save some time for us to talk."

"Will do."

### / / /

Victoria kept her distance from Joseph as much as possible the rest of the afternoon. There were a few tense moments when she had to squeeze in close to Joseph for a few photographs. The newspaper was covering the opening since it was big news for the area. The only other option besides the streets or family was a local public institution that was serving the feeble-minded. Here they would have more freedom. They would still do some farming, but not nearly the amount of hours required at the public facility because they would only be growing enough for themselves. There were no plans for them to grow food for profit. That was why Mr. Rockford was doing this. He wanted each of the residents to have the freedom to come and go as they liked, yet with the responsibility for maintaining the facility.

Controlling her jealous feelings needed to be a priority. She knew she overreacted to hearing about Ada living at the home cooking for the men. What if Joseph started to fall for her? What then? But, what was she to do. It was not time yet. He said he would wait, but she could not hold him to it.

Joseph was certainly in his element. She had not realized this about him. He mingled with ease amongst all of the guests and answered the reporter's questions with flare. Victoria stumbled on most of her words and had to repeat herself more than once. It appeared the reporter was just being difficult with her. After all, it was not the norm for a woman to be so involved in the business side of such an endeavor.

The home was beautiful and practical. It was almost exactly how she had designed it. As you walked in through the front door the area was open. There were a few wooden chairs and long plain tables on each side and the kitchen was along the back wall of the front room. This was where all the residents would eat each day. Behind the kitchen, there was an office, two bedrooms, and one bathroom. It still troubled her that Joseph would be staying here, along with Ada. She had no choice in the matter. Mr. Rockford had insisted that to move the project along faster, it had to be this way.

"Are you ready to return home, Victoria?"

"Yes, Uncle Rock. I am a bit tired. I am thankful the day was a bit overcast; otherwise, the heat would have been overwhelming."

Uncle Rock smiled and looked down at her lovingly.

"I believe seeing Joseph today was a bit overwhelming for you to. Do not worry. You will not have to see him again until you are ready. There will not be another gathering like this until the project is finished next year."

"Thanks Uncle Rock."

Victoria's heart thudded in her chest. Even though she knew in her mind that they needed to be apart for now, she was ready to move on with her life and could still feel Joseph's lips on hers. Thankfully Uncle Rock was making sure they would not be together before they should be.

# Chapter 9

"Joseph you seemed very much in your element yesterday. I did not realize how well you would shine during the event. You were such a smooth talker with the reporter."

"Thank you Samuel." Joseph's thoughts began to wander to the kiss.

"There is nothing to be embarrassed about Joseph. You sure do blush easily," stated Eve.

Joseph turned his head to look out the window. Joseph was visiting his good friends Samuel and Eve following the Sunday services. He truly enjoyed this time of fellowship each week. If it were not for Samuel's wise counsel, he did not think he would have been able to be away from Victoria for so long. Eve took Samuel's cue and quietly left the dining room. She would take her time getting the coffee and cake for dessert.

"Joseph, I have a feeling you need to confess something. I am positive you are not blushing over my comment."

Joseph sighed loudly. He was never able to hide his emotions from Samuel.

"Victoria kissed me yesterday."

"How did it make you feel?"

"I kissed her back." Joseph slowly stood and moved to stand by the window. "I enjoyed it more than I should have. I know it is a sin."

"We all fall to temptation at times. It is only through the grace of God that we are forgiven of these sins and given strength to resist."

"I just wanted to comfort her. She seemed so upset when Eve was talking with her."

"I understand your concern. I could see how upset she was. Next time, it would be best for Mr. Rockford to intervene. Have you asked for forgiveness?"

"I did nothing but pray about it last night." He was surprised he did not fall asleep during the service since he tossed and turned the whole night praying and thinking about the kiss. Even though he knew their kiss was a sin, his elemental feelings were taking control. Before seeing her yesterday, she only invaded his dreams. Now, thoughts of her were keeping him from sleeping.

"Have you asked Victoria for forgiveness?" repeated Samuel.

"She kept her distance from me the rest of the day." That was only part of the truth. He was not ready to ask for her forgiveness or accept how strong his feelings truly were.

Eve noisily entered the dining room carrying a tray of coffee and cake.

"How do you feel about Ada moving in?" asked Eve as she placed a plate of cake in front of Joseph. He had returned to his seat upon hearing her enter the room.

"I am delighted to have someone cook for me and concerned about being responsible for her at the same time."

"She is not that much trouble Joseph. I will be there during the day, every day, the first week. She is more than capable of handling the responsibilities."

"I have never worked with someone like her before. I do not know what to expect."

Joseph again got up from the table and leisurely walked to the window his dessert left untouched. The scene was majestic from this vantage point. The view sported a large pond with several resident ducks swimming playfully in it. The lawn was neatly cut and the azalea bushes grew large and free. It would be a sea of deep rose pink come fall when they were in full bloom.

"Ada is borderline between being considered feeble-minded and normal intelligence. Most people do not even realize. Our parents decided it was best to provide the additional care that she needs instead of leaving her to fend for herself in this sometimes-harsh world. Their health is starting to decline and wanted to see how she would do."

Joseph turned from the window. He was delighted that most did not realize. A small smile appeared on his face. Working with Ada now would make it easier to adjust to working with the other residents when they started to move in. He returned to his seat and took another sip of the aromatic coffee before taking a bite of cake.

"How many years apart are you and Ada?"

"She is ten years older. With her childish ways it seemed like we were much closer in age growing up. It was truly a blessing to have her in my life."

Joseph visibly looked relieved at the age difference. It would be unlikely that he would be attracted to someone that much older than him. While it was the norm for an older man to have a younger wife, it was uncommon for an older woman to be with a younger man. The more he could find out about her, the better he could be prepared mentally for when they were to meet.

"Did you ever wish that she could have accomplished more with her life?"

Eve froze in place, her fork halfway to her mouth. Her eyes sparked suddenly with a bit of anger. She took a deep breath, exhaling out through her nose with almost a growl sound escaping. Joseph knew instantly that he overstepped by making the comment; however, he did not know what to do at this point. He watched as she silently mouthed a few words, finished eating the piece of cake that was on her fork, gently placing the fork back on the plate and then looking intently into Joseph's eyes. He sat there waiting for Eve to reply too fearful to look away.

Samuel silently stood and walked over to his wife. He gently placed his strong hands on her shoulders.

"Joseph, please forgive Eve. She is extremely protective when it comes to Ada. Eve you know Joseph did not mean anything by the question. You can see how nervous he is. He is trying to prepare himself. While he may have been in full control of the crowd yesterday, that does not mean he is prepared for a lovely woman to be living so close."

"Do forgive me Joseph. Ada has accomplished everything in life so far that the good Lord has planned for her. At times I wonder why I was not like her as well. Her childlike faith and unconditional love is so natural for her. If only I had a small portion of it."

Eve leaned her head back resting it gently on her husband's chest.

"Do not be so hard on yourself Eve. You must not forget that the good Lord has also made you the way you are for a reason. We all have a place in his plan."

"Considering the circumstances, Eve, I believe it would be best if you would tell me what you would like me to know about Ada. Samuel is correct that I am trying to prepare myself. It took more than a week of his counsel and prayers to get me in a position to manage the crowd."

Eve brightened. "Let us finish our dessert and head outside. It is a lovely day. The white puffy clouds are providing just enough shade and coolness for us to enjoy."

It did not take long for them to finish dessert and make their way outdoors. Eve shared story after story of her lovely older sister. It was nearly dark before they even realized the time. Joseph bid them farewell. He mounted his horse with lightness in his heart that the lovely Ada would be a great companion to work with. He still did not know how lovely she was. Eve and Samuel both refused to describe her so he would just have to wait until tomorrow afternoon to find out. As he made his way home, he felt confident he would sleep well.

### / / /

Victoria and Uncle Rock were relaxing in the parlor waiting for Miss Jenny to complete the final touches on dinner. She normally did not work on Sundays; however, she felt that the two of them needed the time to relax. The festivities of the day before were very taxing on them both. Miss Jenny was surprised to see how lethargic Victoria was when they returned. Victoria had been in better spirits since she suggested that now might not be the time for divorce per the Lords plan.

"Victoria did you enjoy the service today." Uncle Rock took a large sip from his tall glass of lemonade and propped his feet up on the ottoman in front of him.

Victoria too was enjoying this time to relax. She was extremely thankful that Miss Jenny was here today. She certainly had not felt like doing any cooking.

"Very much so Uncle Rock. I continually need the reminder that He is in control. I copied down the verse the sermon was on from Thessalonians."

"Does that help you to reflect?"

"It does. I plan to write in my journal this evening to continue to reflect on the passage. I know I was emotional yesterday. I am sorry. I do hope I did not embarrass you."

Victoria began to stiffen. While she had just expressed the words she had not thought much about how her actions could have affected Uncle Rock.

"Relax Victoria. You did not embarrass me. I am sure no one noticed except for Joseph. Joseph seemed a bit flustered when he returned from your little walk. Was everything alright?"

Victoria did not know what to say. Uncle Rock was looking at her intently yet lovingly.

"In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18," stated Miss Jenny as she walked into the parlor. "Dinner is ready. I will see you both on Monday." She walked out the parlor without another word with a sweet smile on her face.

Victoria was speechless. Miss Jenny already knew the scripture reading by heart. It was exactly what she needed to hear at that moment. She would need to seek forgiveness from Joseph. While it may have happened according to God's will, it did not change the fact that the action itself was a sin. She needed to remember to give thanks in everything, even knowing she would continue to have to spend time away from Joseph.

"Uncle Rock, I kissed Joseph yesterday. Please forgive me. I agree it is best that we do not spend time together. I do love him with all my heart. I have never felt this way before. Not even with Lawrence. I do hope you understand. If it would not disrupt the process of the rest of the houses being built, I would go stay at Mr. and Mrs. Johnson's. They told me I could stay with them anytime."

"That will not be necessary, Victoria." Mr. Rockford grinned. "There is no reason in the near future for you to see Joseph. If you like, I will provide you with an escort any time there is a function in the future until such time that you seek out a divorce. While there is no reason for you to visit out at the home, you may have the desire to see some of the progress and work with the people. They are extraordinary. You will be humbled in their presence."

Victoria flew out of her seat and knelt down by Uncle Rock. "That is a marvelous idea. I do want to work with them. I should get to know Eve and her sister Ada. An escort is the perfect thing. He will help to keep me focused and keep me from spending any alone time with Joseph."

"Get up dear. We should go eat before the wonderful meal Miss Jenny prepared gets cold. I will see to it to find you an escort. It may take a few weeks. In the meantime, I will accompany you next week out to the home so that you can apologize to Joseph in person."

# Chapter 10

September 1902

Joseph sat in the office going over the housing plans. They were to begin the second phase next week. That phase would be the simultaneous construction of four houses. Additional workers would arrive on Tuesday to assist with the construction. Samuel would be overseeing the workers while Joseph was overseeing the entire project. Several of the workers would be moving in once the homes were built just how Mr. Rockford wanted it. It continued to amaze Joseph how rewarding the job was. He never thought he would be blessed with such a career. Only time would tell if he would even want to live anywhere else after the required year Mr. Rockford had insisted on.

He was amazed how much more time he had now that Ada had moved in. His earlier fears were gone. Eve was correct that you could hardly notice that Ada was feeble-minded. Her cooking was wonderful, much better than his own. He observed that first week how Eve had provided Ada with the menu items. She was not capable of determining the menu herself. If left to her own devises, there would be nothing but decadent desserts. Eve had instructed him on how to review the week's menu with Ada so that she would remember. Her parents had developed an elaborate system of colored word cards so that Ada would remember all the courses to prepare.

Yesterday was Eve's last full day with them. She would visit briefly after services on Sundays to make sure Joseph and Ada were doing well and the week's menu were in place. After a few weeks, she would only visit once in a while. Eve needed to see if Ada could manage without living with her parents since their parents had been very hands on and Joseph would not have the time.

Joseph was adjusting well to the living arrangements. Ada was far younger looking than he ever expected. It was hard not to notice her striking looks, but he did not desire her. After all, he was in love with Victoria. At least he thought it was love. He certainly longed for her physically when sleep would not come at night. What he missed most was being able to review the plans with her and talk with her. Even their light banter was a pleasant memory.

Ada was different. She was less complicated and always spoke the truth, even when it was not appropriate. Victoria had spunk and fluctuating emotions. He did not know which he preferred. Not that he was considering a romantic life with Ada. Eve and Samuel had entrusted her to his care. She was family. It was still difficult at times to divert his eyes from her beauty. She was nearly his height, slender figure with coal black hair and hazel green eyes. Her porcelain smooth skin glowed radiantly in the low light of the kitchen. You would never know that Ada and Eve were sisters. The only thing that was similar was their slightly broad noses and high cheekbones. Ada took on the more Native American traits of her ancestors than Eve.

Joseph's thoughts began to wander to Victoria. It had been nearly a week since he saw Victoria and the kissed that they shared. Absent-mindedly he touched his lips with his hand. He had yet to seek her out to ask for her forgiveness. Maybe that was why she plagued his thoughts. He would make a point to seek her out soon. Mr. Rockford was due to visit later today and he would inquire when the best time would be. It was time to get out from behind the desk and stretch his legs. A fresh cup of coffee and a walk through the job site would help get his mind off Victoria.

"Ada do we have any coffee left over from breakfast?"

"No, sir Mr. Holmes."

"Please call me Joseph, Ada. You do not need to be so formal."

"No, sir J.. Joseph."

"Please make some. I will be back in a few minutes. I just need to check on how the construction is going."

"Yes, sir J.. Joseph."

Joseph grinned from ear to ear. She always stuttered when instructed to do something different. She had yet to remember to call him by his Christian name. They went through this every day. He would continue until she remembered. It just felt odd to be called Mr. Holmes. After all, she was older than he was.

### / / /

"Samuel how is everything this morning."

"Construction is going well. We have had very few delays, not as much rain this year. The new crew is working out as well as can be expected. I have each man paired up. It appears to be working well."

"Good. Ada is making some more coffee if you are interested. I will talk to you later. I need to get the next lumber order ready so I can go into town tomorrow morning to pick it up."

"I will stop by this evening before I head home to let you know if there are any other supplies that I need."

Joseph made his way back inside. Ada had the coffee ready and was busy cleaning the kitchen.

"Ada, thank you for the coffee. It is greatly appreciated. I will be going into town tomorrow. Would you like to come with me?"

Ada tilted her head in thought. After a moment she threw her arms around Joseph in a bear hug almost spilling his cup of coffee. Victoria and Mr. Rockford entered the house at just that moment. Victoria took in the scene. This was the first time seeing the lovely Miss Ada O'Conner. It appeared they were both fond of each other. Had he forgotten their kiss just a week ago? Mr. Rockford could tell Victoria's temper was boiling by the faces she was making. He cleared his throat loudly to get Joseph's attention.

"Mr. Rockford, I did not expect you till this afternoon." He managed to get Ada's arms from around him and instructed her to get out two more cups for coffee. "Please have a seat. Ada will bring us some more cups. She just brewed another pot of rich coffee."

Joseph brought the steaming, rich coffee to the table and sat down. He tried not to smile as he leaned back into the wooden chair waiting for Ada to bring the cups. Victoria certainly was predictable. She stirred his desires, but he knew that was not enough. He had to be able to accept her constantly changing emotional state if they were ever to have a relationship once she was available.

"It does smell wonderful in here," replied Mr. Rockford. "We will not keep you long. Victoria has something she needs to say to you." Mr. Rockford took the seat across from Joseph. He too was trying not to smile.

Victoria scowled at Uncle Rock and she moved to the chair next to him. She was more than capable of talking. She did not need him to explain the reason for their visit. She plopped down in a huff.

Ada not even aware of Victoria's scrutiny placed the cups in front of them and proceeded to pour each of them a cup of coffee with a friendly smile on her face.

"Thank you Ada. It is time for your break."

Ada smiled warmly and walked to the back of the house towards the bedrooms without a word.

Victoria waited only until Ada was out of the room to let her anger out. "What were you doing with her arms around you? I had come to apologize for my behavior last week. It seems you owe me more of one."

Joseph paused only briefly before replying. With guidance from Samuel, he was starting to understand how to handle his own emotions as well as responding to those around him. It took a lot of prayer and strength from the Lord. "Victoria, I do not answer to you." His statement took Victoria by surprise, leaving her stunned with eyes wide and lips slightly parted. "I do seek your forgiveness for last week. I should not have kissed you back. I do apologize for my behavior that day. As for my behavior today when you walked in, that is between me and Ada."

"Victoria, sit back down! You will finish your talk with Joseph." Victoria turned and plopped back down in the seat. Uncle Rock's tone indicated there was no arguing with him about it. They had come for her to apologize. She needed to get it over with. He had obviously moved on and it had only been a week.

"Your apology is accepted Joseph. Please forgive me for being so forward last week. Can we go now Uncle Rock?"

"No Victoria. We are going to enjoy a cup of this delicious coffee while you and Joseph finish talking."

"Fine." Victoria picked up her cup of coffee and took a big gulp. She visibly grimaced. In her haste she had burnt her tongue.

Joseph chuckled softly. It was like her to react that way.

"Do not laugh at me Joseph."

"Sorry Victoria. It has been a while since I have seen your temper. You do look adorable when you are angry. I do accept your apology."

"Can we go now Uncle Rock?"

"No Victoria. You two need to talk a bit longer."

Uncle Rock picked up his cup of coffee and made his way outside. He did not need to walk far to see that the construction was progressing rapidly. At this rate, they would have the next set of houses built before winter.

Joseph and Victoria sat in silence drinking their coffee. Joseph had many things that he wanted to say, but in Victoria's current state he did not think she would truly listen. He did not like going against Mr. Rockford's wishes so he would have to think of something safe to talk about.

"How is Miss Jenny doing?"

"She is doing just fine. She is such a wonderful lady. She came to work last Sunday to prepare our dinner."

"I thought she was off on Sunday's."

"She is. She wanted to help out since we were out all day for the festivities the day before."

"That was very thoughtful of her."

Joseph did not know what else to say. Ada was certainly not a safe topic, nor his feelings for Victoria. He would definitely need to talk with Samuel on Sunday.

Uncle Rock walked in a few minutes later to see the two of them sipping yet another cup of coffee.

"I take it you are all talked out."

"Yes, Uncle Rock. I am ready to go home."

"Wait for me outside Victoria. I need to talk with Joseph in private."

Vitoria did as instructed, but not without giving Uncle Rock and Joseph a suspicious look.

"Joseph is everything OK now."

"We both apologized if that is what you are asking. I know I have only been around Ada for a week now, but I am starting to think I want a wife more like her. Victoria is so emotional. I do not know if I can handle that on a full time bases."

"Do you have feelings for Ada?"

"Only those of sisterly love. She is beautiful, but I see her as a little sister. It is hard to believe she is ten years older than me."

"Do you still have feelings for Victoria?"

"I do. Until she is divorced, they do not matter. I will try to wait for her and see how our relationship grows. If she keeps up this attitude though, I am not sure it will work out."

"Did you talk about it?"

Joseph lowered his head and shook it from side to side. "We barely talked."

"I had hoped for more, maybe next time. Just so you know I will be hiring an escort for Victoria. You will not have to worry about her being in your presence alone anymore. No need to be tempted."

"Good idea. I will talk to you later Uncle Rock. We do not want to keep Victoria waiting too long. Besides, I have work to do."

Uncle Rock and Joseph shook hands and Uncle Rock made his way out the house. Ada made her entrance at the sound of the door closing. She silently gathered the coffee cups from the table, brought them to the sink, washed them and returned back to her room. Joseph knew he had a lot to pray about. He was starting to have second thoughts that Victoria was the wife for him.

# Chapter 11

October 1902

Victoria was lounging on the sofa; enjoy an afternoon cup of rich coffee when she heard a voice from the entryway. At times Uncle Rock had visitors to discuss the financing of the home and she always attended. Wishing that Uncle Rock had informed her of such a meeting, she looked down at her dress and frowned. Her current outfit was more modest than the ones she normally wore when entertaining. She took one last sip of her coffee, folded the newspaper, and stood to leave the parlor deciding she would just have to be more charming. As she entered the hallway while smoothing out the wrinkles in her dress, she was stunned speechless for a moment. When the young gentleman smiled, she found her voice.

"Henry it is so nice to see you. What are you doing here?" Victoria ignored his outstretched hand and gave him a hardy but brief hug. She looped her arm around his and led him into the parlor. Victoria took a seat on the sofa; however, against Victoria's hopes, Henry took a seat in a wingback chair.

"Mr. Rockford had written me requesting if I could serve as an escort for you when needed and also to help with the farming aspects of the home."

"Does Joseph know?"

"No, he does not. I am not sure he will be happy that I am your escort. It will be nice to see him."

Mr. Rockford preceded Miss Jenny into the room. Henry stood and offered his hand. Mr. Rockford gave a firm shake before claiming the other wingback chair.

"Do not concern yourself with that Henry. You work for me not Joseph."

"Thank you, Mr. Rockford."

Miss Jenny placed a tray with coffee and cake on the nearby table and silently left the room.

"Where will you be staying Henry?"

"He will be staying in Joseph's room."

Victoria paled at the news.

"Victoria I have no plans on changing anything in the room. I will leave it as is."

Victoria smiled at the news and stood to serve everyone coffee and cake. The conversation remained light while they enjoyed the food. While she had many questions she wanted answers to, Uncle Rock kept interfering each time Henry tried to answer. It had been six weeks since she had seen Joseph and she was delighted that they would be going out to the home tomorrow. The time apart had been good for her especially for understanding her own emotions after seeing him with Ada. Even though she kept busy with meetings with investors and maintaining the ledgers, a day did not go by when she thought of Joseph. She prayed daily for a sign and still felt it was not time yet. Miss Jenny reminded her every time she looked sad that she needed to be patient that it was all in God's timing. Victoria went to bed early thinking she would lie awake for hours thinking about seeing Joseph but sleep came quickly as she thought how the days would go by more swiftly with Henry around to keep her entertained.

Victoria woke startled by the sound of rain pelting her bedroom window and the wind whipping at the trees before dawn. There would be no going out today and possibly tomorrow if it rained for too long. She rolled onto her side to look out the window as lightening danced across the sky. She silently counted; one, two, three, before the boom of thunder shook the house. With tired limbs, she climbed out of bed and dressed. Miss Jenny would not be in today because of the weather and she would need to take care of the meals and cleaning. Before she reached the kitchen, she smelled the rich aroma of coffee. She walked into the kitchen smiling.

"I hope you do not mind me making myself at home. I just could not sleep any more with the rain."

"I do not mind. Miss Jenny will not be in today because of the rain. It is much needed. We have scarcely had a drop in weeks. The ground had begun to crack."

Victoria sat down in her usual seat and Henry brought her a steaming cup of coffee. He sat down next to her just looking.

"What are you looking at?"

"You."

"I know that much. Why are you looking at me?"

"Just trying to see what makes you tick. I will be your escort from now on. I report directly to Mr. Rockford and want to make sure I keep my job. This is not a temporary move for me."

Victoria studied Henry intently. She was not sure what to think of him or what Joseph had previously told him about her. Did Henry know all of her secrets? Did he know about Gloria? Numerous emotions crossed over her face before settling on a frown.

"What is the frown for? You were delighted to see me yesterday."

Victoria stood to begin breakfast preparations not wanting to answer. Her fears were still controlling her and she hated it.

"Victoria, please sit back down and relax. I have already started breakfast. The biscuits have another ten minutes. I was about to start cooking the bacon when you walked into the room."

Victoria made no effort to move so Henry placed both hands on her shoulders and guided her back to her chair. With gentle pressure, he encouraged her to sit back down.

"I plan to finish what I started. We will be spending a lot of time talking today. If I am going to be successful at being your escort, I need to know everything that is going on. No secrets."

Victoria stood to leave, but Henry's voice stopped her in her tracks.

"Stop acting like a child and sit back down!"

Victoria huffed, yet followed his command. Henry continued the breakfast preparations in silence. Once everything was complete, he brought it to the table for Victoria to serve herself. She savored the flaky biscuits and crisp bacon. He had done a wonderful job at cooking.

"Since it appears it will likely rain all day we will spend the day getting to know each other better. I will help with whatever housework needs to be done and with preparations for the meals."

"What happened to your charm? You were so nice when we first meet."

"My cousin does love you, but you cannot seem to get a handle on your emotions. We are going to work through this one way or the other. I want to see him happy."

Victoria sat in silence, thinking on a reply. She did love Joseph but she was still married to Lawrence. Why could no one understand that? It was not time yet. She continued to eat not saying a word. What right did Henry have to interfere? Once she completed her meal she stood, taking her plate along with Henry's and began washing the dishes. Henry approached her from behind and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"I will be waiting for you in the parlor when you are done."

Victoria did not reply. His tone indicated he would not be challenged in this. Maybe this was exactly what she needed. Someone who would not coddle her and help her face all the fears and insecurities that overwhelmed her.

Victoria went to bed early after spending hours talking with Henry about her feelings and not just what had happened. His bible stayed at the ready providing several scripture readings that guided them. They prayed throughout the day. By the end of the day, she was confident that with his help she would be able to better control her emotions. She had decided she wanted to wait longer before visiting Joseph.

Uncle Rock kept his distance for most of the day, even taking his meals alone. She was thoroughly cried out and drained from rehashing all of her secrets. There were none left to tell. Henry had a way about him that she had no choice, but to discuss her feelings.

### / / /

Joseph woke to screams coming from Ada's room. Not knowing what was going on, he ran quickly to her room not bothering with putting his shirt on. When he entered her room, he found her curled up in a ball, trembling and screaming in unison with the thunder. He silently sat down, pulled her close, and gently held her, thankful that he had had time to get to know her before this or he would have been worried about the appropriateness. She was just like a little child frightened by the weather. Calming down quickly with his presence, she no longer screamed with the clack of thunder. When he tried to leave, she would not let go. Joseph decided he would have to stay. He managed to get Ada to lie back down, then he took the quilt draped over the edge of the bed and used it as a blanket as he lay down on top of the covers next to her. She snuggled up close clinging to his arm. Once she was sleeping soundly, he slipped out of bed and settled himself on the floor. Hours later he woke to find Ada lying next to him on the floor curled up sleeping soundly. Unsure of the appropriateness, he would talk with Eve once the weather permitted, to see how to handle the situation in the future.

### / / /

"Samuel you do not understand. I have to go to my sister. She needs me."

"Eve it is storming. I am sure Joseph will be able to handle himself. It has been raining for a few hours now."

Eve did not want to listen and continued to dress. Samuel got up out of bed and embraced his wife with a bear hug. He did not let go until she relaxed into his arms.

"We will both go once the weather is clear enough. I promise. I trust Joseph to care for her. God is watching out for both of them."

"You are right."

Samuel and Eve returned back to bed, taking advantage of the extra time together.

It was not until late the following day when the rain let up. Eve requested several times to go to her sister, but Samuel insisted that they wait until morning. Early the next morning before the sun was up, Eve was dressed and ready to go. She would not wait one moment more to see that her sister was OK. Samuel prepared the horses and they were off just as the first light peeked a bright crimson from the horizon.

Ada had just finished pouring her and Joseph a cup of coffee when Eve burst through the door.

"Eve what are you doing here. It is not church day."

"Ada, I had to see that you were OK. I know how much you hate storms."

"Joseph slept with me."

Eve's eyes grew wide. Before she could reply Joseph stood, softly requested that Ada start breakfast for the four of them, and then asked Eve to sit.

"It is not what you are thinking. She is like a little sister to me. She woke me in the night screaming. I went to her room to comfort her and once she fell asleep, I moved to the floor. When I woke up she was sleeping on the floor next to me."

Tears fell from Eve's eyes and a smile crept up on her face. "You have become like a father to her. Papa would do the same thing for her."

"See, nothing to worry about. Joseph took care of our Ada."

"Should I have done anything different?"

"I do not think so. She seems fine. I do thank you for going to her."

"You are welcome."

### / / /

"When are we going to visit the home? Joseph does not even know you are in town."

"I think you need a few more days. I was thinking that we could go on Monday. Will we see him at services on Sunday?"

"No." Victoria sighed. She wished at times she could see him weekly at services and other times she was glad for the distance.

"Why not?" Henry's voice was gruff and demanding.

Victoria startled not realizing how her reply would affect Henry. "He goes to a different church with Samuel and Eve. He likely brings Ada with him now."

"Who is Ada?"

"Eve's sister. She cooks for the workers at the home."

"Are they seeing each other?"

"I do not know. Last time I talked with him, he informed me that he does not answer to me."

"Then the next time you do see him, you need to find out."

"I do not know if I can. I get so emotional around him."

"I will be there right beside you, remember. We will find out together."

# Chapter 12

"Miss Jenny prepared a picnic lunch for us to bring today." Victoria sat the basket down on the small table in the parlor. The basket contained chicken salad, fresh bread, a jar of pickles, a bunch of red grapes and a canteen of tea, all of her favorites.

"That was very nice of her. Do you plan to carry the basket the whole way?"

"Of course. It was my idea."

Henry chuckled at her spunk. "If you need help let me know."

They made their journey at a slow leisurely pace. Victoria tried her best to carry the basket on her own. After only a half mile, she reluctantly gave up and Henry took over. It was a cloudy gray morning and Victoria was thankful for the shade. The light breeze fluttered through her hair, helping to keep her cool, as it was still warm even for late October. She was a bit nervous about seeing Joseph again. The past week had been an emotional but productive time resulting in her being more secure in her feelings and less fearful of the future. Henry would be by her side and that was the only thing keeping her from feeling sick with nerves over seeing Joseph again with Ada. Despite Uncle Rock's reassurance that Joseph and Ada were not a couple, she feared that they were.

The houses came into view in the distance. Victoria stopped to take in the scene. There were now five homes, the one large one that was first built and four smaller ones on the left side. The field on the other side of the houses had been cleared and looked ready for winter planting. Henry set the basket down, took out the tea and two cups, poured them each a little and then offered a toast.

"To new beginnings as we follow the way of the Lord." They clacked their tin cups together and took a sip. Victoria sighed at the delicious sweetness. Miss Jenny made the best tea she had ever had.

"Amen. To new beginnings."

They finished their tea and Henry packed everything back into the basket. He offered his arm to Victoria, which she gladly took, and they finished the rest of their walk in silence.

Victoria and Henry were enjoying a fresh cup of coffee provided by Ada when Joseph entered the home. He stood in the doorway, taking in the scene and his jealousy was bubbling to the surface. It appeared Victoria had found someone else, despite the fact that Mr. Rockford had just informed him the day before that she was still married. She clung to the broad shouldered gentleman and laughed robustly to a story he was telling Ada. Ada seemed mesmerized by him. Jealousy temporarily forgotten, his protective fatherly instincts took over. No one was to mess with his Ada. He closed the door with a little more force than necessary, but did not say a word. Ada was the first to see him since Henry and Victoria had their backs to the door. Standing quickly, she nearly knocked over her chair before running to Joseph giving him a hug and kiss on the cheek. Without turning around Victoria squeezed Henry's arm tightly, closed her eyes, and said a silent prayer for strength. Henry placed his hand on top of hers rubbing gently and whispered a prayer in her ear to help calm her.

"He is nice Joseph. So nice."

Joseph nodded and plastered a mean grin on his face waiting for the man to turn around. Henry stood slowly giving Victoria time to release her grip. Before turning around, he spoke with an amusing tone.

"I expected a friendlier welcome Cousin."

Joseph eyebrows rose as the familiar accent sunk in. He started to laugh over his foolishness, but then stopped. It may be his cousin but the cousin with the reputation of being a ladies man.

Ada stepped aside when Henry approached to give Joseph a bear hug. Henry spoke in a low tone only for Joseph to here while maintaining a fierce grip. "Cousin, I have no plans to court either of them." After releasing his hold, he stepped next to Victoria.

Joseph was not sure what to think of his cousin. He had heard the rumors, but Henry would never confirm or deny them. Truth be told, he did not know if Henry had been with any woman despite the fact he always seemed to charm them and put them at ease. His jealousy was returning as he recalled how Victoria clung to Henry's arm and how he whispered into her ear. Now was not the time to have such thoughts. Work was too busy to be worried about a married woman.

"How long will you be in town?"

"For as long as Mr. Rockford will employ me."

"How did my dad take the news of you leaving the farm?"

"We prayed about it and decided this is where the Lord wanted me. I will be overseeing the planting of the peas, broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots starting tomorrow. We should have a bountiful crop for winter stew. I wanted to spend the day surveying the land and Victoria wanted to see the progress."

"Victoria, I would be happy to show you around."

Before Victoria could respond, Henry interjected. "The four of us should take a walk. It is not overly warm yet. Then Victoria can help Ada with anything that is needed in the kitchen and we can go over the planting schedule."

Joseph did not let his disappointment show. He wanted a little time alone with Victoria to ask what was going on with her and Henry. Since that was not an option, he would have to ask Henry and hope that he would be truthful.

"Ada can you spare the time for a walk," asked Joseph as he helped her with the coffee cups. He had not realized that she had removed herself from the conversation and went back to work. Ada did not readily reply.

"I believe you have time. Victoria can help you catch up. She is a wonderful baker."

"I would like to finish this first."

Joseph nodded his agreement and Ada washed the cups, dried them, and put them away before removing her apron and placing a worn straw hat on top of her head. Before anyone could object, Ada grabbed Henry's arm to indicate who she wanted to escort her. Joseph smiled at the opportunity to be with Victoria but hoped Henry would not get any ideas. Victoria's cheeks warmed slightly and she looked to Henry for comfort. Even though Henry responded with a warm smile, Victoria was still nervous when she placed her hand in the crook of Joseph's arm.

They started the tour by going through each of the homes. While they all had the same structural design as the main house with the exception of a smaller dining area, each was still unique. They were decorated by the residents that lived there and most where plain yet masculine. The last home they visited was adored with flowery pink curtains and lace doilies on the tables. While the woman was not present at the time, it was evident her job at the home was preparing the fruits and vegetables for canning. The table overflowed with bowels of blackberries, green beans and cucumber. Victoria was delighted how her designs were being used especially since they looked better in person than in the drawings.

Joseph decided he would have to talk with Victoria with Henry and Ada nearby. Even though she was still married, he wanted her to know what his relationship was with Ada. "Victoria I want you to know that Ada is feeble-minded and I think of her like a younger sister." He paused trying to assess how Victoria was taking the information. After no response, he decided to continue. "I do love her, but not in a romantic way. At this time I feel she will be part of my life as long as I am living here. She needs me."

Victoria took in what he said. She had been told Ada was feeble-minded but struggled to accept that it made any difference. Ada seemed capable most of the time from the little exposure she had around her causing her jealousy to boil every time. Hopefully, their time together today would ease that feeling and she could learn to love her as Joseph had. While she had no siblings, she could understand feeling responsible for someone you thought of as family. Henry was starting to feel like a brother to her.

"Will you be able to accept her into your life Victoria? If we are to be together, it will now include her. I know it has only been a few months out of the required year, but I do not see myself leaving anytime in the future."

"I do not know Joseph. I will try. Henry should be able to help me."

"Henry."

"Do not be jealous of Henry, Joseph. There is only brotherly affection for him. He has been wonderful this past week helping me work through my fears."

Joseph stopped his forward progress. He was visibly upset that Henry was there for her and not himself. Henry seeing the change closed the gap between them. Victoria took his cue and removed her hand from Joseph's arm.

"I believe we have seen all we need to today. The ladies should head back to the main house while we take a look at the fields."

Victoria did not wait for a reply and started to make her way out the house. Joseph nodded to Ada to follow and she caught up with Victoria by the time she reached the door.

Joseph and Henry walked in silence to the fields. Once there, the conversation stayed on the planting for several minutes until Henry felt Joseph had had enough time to take control of his emotions.

"Cus what is the problem?"

Joseph glared at Henry not sure how he should respond. What was he to say? He hated the fact that Victoria was more comfortable around Henry them himself. That he longed to be with her; yet was terrified she would leave if they were ever to marry and have children.

"She still loves you Joseph. She has been doing very well today keeping her emotions under control. We have spent the past week reading the bible, praying, and talking. I felt she needed me more than you needing to know that I was in town. I know you love her, but are concerned that she will leave you like she left Lawrence. God is in control and you need to give those fears to him. You need to treasure the time you do have with her."

"Have you taken up being a preacher?

Henry chuckled. "Nothing like that Cus. I have taken several psychology courses and have been part of a bible study group at the church the Johnson's attend for nearly a year now. I am finding my purpose in life. It is to help others. I still have many courses to take and I am not sure I want to be a psychologist. I would miss the farming."

Joseph chuckled and slapped Henry on the back. "I cannot picture you as a psychologist. You are just not the indoor type. I will support you Cousin in whatever you decide to do. I did notice a difference in Victoria today when I was not blinded by my own emotions. Does she plan to visit the home often?"

"We have not discussed that yet. One day at a time. I know she has a lot of responsibility managing the finances and meetings with investors."

### / / /

Victoria was enjoying getting to know Ada as they worked together on the midday meal. She noticed the colored cards that Ada referenced as she set out the food to begin preparations. Each color was a different part or food group for the meal: red for meat, orange for fruit, yellow for starch, green for vegetable, blue for dessert, indigo for soup or salad and violet for appetizer. When she asked why the indigo and violet cards were set to the side, Ada explained that Joseph did not wish to have those colors except for church days. The other cards were spread out on the counter with the appropriate items placed by them. There were no recipe cards just the food group cards. Despite having brought a meal, she felt it was important to share a meal with the residents. Hoping to get to know Ada and the other residents better, she planned to talk with Henry about coming often. Uncle Rock was training her to take over and she wanted to share the joy of working with the feeble-minded with him. Through his generosity of room and board, she was enjoying her time back in the south and had no plans to leave.

"Ada would you like me to bake the cookies?"

"Yes Mrs. Victoria. I will take care of everything else. We are ready to start."

They work seamlessly together. Victoria helped with more than just the cookies, helping to cut up fresh apples and slice cucumbers. After only an hour Victoria felt like Ada was like a younger sister to her. She could see why there was so much affection between Ada and Joseph and totally understood that it was not an intimate connection but a family one. She heard the ferocious protectiveness in Joseph voice when he thought some random man was talking with Ada and now knew why. She was a precious angel yet too trusting and could easily be taken advantage of.

"Ada we have about half an hour before it is time to eat. The cookies will be done in ten minutes. Would you mind if I rest in your room for a few minutes." She needed to get off of her feet. With Miss Jenny handling the majority of the cooking and cleaning, she was no longer accustomed to being on her feet for hours.

"Go rest Mrs. Victoria. I will keep an eye on your cookies. Everything else is ready."

"Thank you." Victoria took her leave and entered Ada's bedroom. It was simply furnished with a bed, an end table, a small round table, two chairs, and a wardrobe all made of pine. After removing her shoes, Victoria laid down on top of the neatly made bed adorned with a rustic blue patch quilt. She just wanted to close her eyes for a few minutes and rest her feet. She prayed silently asking for strength and thanksgiving for opening up her heart to accept Ada into her life.

She was startled awake when she heard the front door open and close. Glancing at the clock resting on the end table, she noticed they still had ten minutes before the scheduled mealtime. Ada had informed her that no one entered until either Joseph or Samuel was present. Assuming it was one of them, she took her time getting out of bed. Upon hearing a man's voice she did not recognize and the clanking of dishes, she dashed out the room to see if Ada needed assistance.

"Come here, darling and pour me a cup of coffee. You can be the sugar." The man looked away after his request and took a seat.

Victoria walked up silently next to Ada and whispered to her that it was time for her break and she would handle it. Ada smiled thanks and nodded in reply.

"Where is the coffee, sugar?" The man was still not looking.

Victoria picked up the coffee pot, but no cups and walked up near the man sitting at the table closest to the door. She had a determined look with brows lowered and eyes glaring.

"Well, you are someone different, but just as sweet."

"Your name."

The man looked at her puzzled with the request.

"Your name." Victoria spat with a growl.

"A spunky one. I like that."

"Unless you plan to where this steaming coffee in your lap you will provide me with your name and the reason you are breaking protocol entering this home without permission."

"Easy their sweetheart. No need to get all fired up."

Victoria placed the towel she held in her other hand under the pot. She was about to throw it on him when Joseph entered in along with Henry and Samuel.

"You better apologize to the lady or you will no longer be working here."

The man stumbled out of his chair at Joseph's booming voice.

"My apologies, ma'am."

"Your name." Victoria hissed.

"Gram Willow, ma'am." The man replied much too sweet for her taste and she decided at that moment that he would not be working here any longer.

"Mr. Willow you payment will be brought to you for the work you did today. You are no longer needed on this job. If you ever step on this land again, I will be contacting the authorities. Do I make myself clear?"

"You have no right to do that. I have done nothing wrong." The man began to walk toward Victoria with an angry look in his eyes. Without a second thought, Victoria flung the coffee in the man's face. He stood there in shock pressing his hands to his face.

"Joseph you best get this trash out of here."

"Gladly." Joseph grabbed the man by the back of his shirt and dragged him outside. The other residents had been listening in. They gave them plenty of room not wanting to be fired.

"What right does she have?" yelled the man.

Joseph sighed with frustration. Not a single other man ever went into the main house until now. He would need to be more careful screening the workers. "She is the future heir of this establishment and manages all of the financial accounts. She has every right to dismiss you for your behavior. Samuel will bring you your wages on Friday."

"Friday?"

"That is the designated day each week. I will not make any exceptions. Men if you see this man on the property ever again, please let me know right away and make sure he stays away from the ladies."

The men replied in unison. "Yes sir, Mr. Holmes."

They all watched as the man slowly made his way out of sight. Once he was gone, Joseph informed the others that the midday meal would start as soon as everything was straight inside. When Joseph walked in he saw Ada giving Victoria a bear hug. Joseph smiled, realizing that the few hours that the ladies spent together was truly a blessing. Victoria had protected Ada even at her own peril. He would need to thank her before she left.

# Chapter 13

The next few weeks flew by for Victoria. Two days a week she went with Henry to the home and spent the day helping Ada. They were becoming close friends and she was making many new friends with the other residents and workers. Ada had commented after the second week how more respectful the men were towards her. While they had always been friendly before, now they were more refined with their respect and many took the initiative to help with serving and cleaning up. Victoria witnessed this first-hand the third week of November when she had stayed for the evening meal on Thursday. Even though a few of the men were lingering after the meal, Victoria slipped away to the restroom knowing Ada was safe. When she returned to the main room all the chairs had been turned upside down and placed on top of the tables. Each man had either a broom or mop in his hand cleaning the floor. Ada was sitting on a stool in the kitchen sipping a cup of tea watching them work. She definitely looked pleased that they were helping.

"Ada why are they cleaning the floor tonight?"

"Do not know. I normally mop Saturday."

Victoria waited in silence as the men finished the floor and moments later Henry arrived from the fields to escort her home.

As was becoming their custom, they walked home without talking. They were nearly home when Victoria broke through the silence.

"Henry is something planned for this weekend?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Why were the men cleaning the floor for Miss Ada?"

Henry failed to answer and Victoria stopped walking. She was determined to find out what was going on.

"Henry please tell me."

Henry smiled, but did not say anything.

"Henry." Victoria had removed her hand from Henry's arm and started walking back to the home. If Henry would not tell her, she would make one of the men who had worked late tell her. She did not like surprises.

"Victoria, where do you think you are going? It will be dark soon. Uncle Rock will not be happy."

Victoria continued to walk away not answering. Henry ran up to her and swung her up into his arms carrying her back to the house. It was not until they reached the front door did he put her down. With hands resting on her shoulders, he spoke in a firm yet soft voice.

"Victoria, who is in control?"

Victoria pondered on her reply not sure what he was talking about.

"Who is in control?"

Henry looked up to the sky.

"God is in control."

"God is in control so you can wait until tomorrow to find out what is going on. Is this something we need to stay up late tonight talking about?"

Victoria saw the determination in his eyes and new he did not desire this.

"God is in control. I will see you in the morning, Henry."

Victoria placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, entered the house, and made her way to her bedroom without another word.

"Does she know about the party?" Asked Uncle Rock as Henry entered the parlor.

"No. She knows something is going on, but not what."

"Good. I am still amazed at how well you are able to calm her and have her let go of the control she clings to. I have been looking into the schools in the area. You should be able to complete your schooling down here. I would like you to continue on here indefinitely, working the land and providing counseling for the residents."

"I would like that Uncle Rock. I do enjoy both."

Henry stood and walked to the window. He looked out briefly as the sun was setting on the horizon. He returned to the wing back chair he had been sitting in and sat back down.

"I know you want a family, Henry. It scares you a bit that you may end up like me one day. It is not such a bad life. The freedom it has provided me to help others is priceless."

"Do you ever wish things would have been different?"

"There is no point in that. The Lord has laid down our path. We are not to question it. We need to stay focused on his glory. We may never know how our role in life benefited someone else."

"Thank you for your wisdom, Uncle Rock. I best get off to bed. It will be a long day tomorrow."

### / / /

The next afternoon Victoria discovered a lovely new violet satin dress hanging in her wardrobe along with new shoes resting on the floor when she went to her room looking for a shawl. Next to the shoes laid a note. Victoria picked up the note and read it.

'Be ready for six. We will be taking the carriage. Uncle Rock.'

Victoria looked at the clock resting on the table and realized she would need to hurry. She had only half an hour to get ready. She was putting the final touches to her hair, pinning up the sides, when there was a knock at her door.

"Victoria are you ready?"

Victoria did not reply. The voice was not Uncle Rock but Joseph.

"I will wait for you in the parlor. Take your time."

Victoria still in shock did not reply. She quickly checked her hair, confirming the pins would hold, stood slowly, looking how the dress fell as she moved, walked to the edge of the bed to slip on her shoes, and said a silent prayer for strength before making her way out of the room.

Joseph stood as she entered the parlor, but did not approach her. He was stricken speechless by her beauty. He knew she did not fancy the color, but it certainly looked stunning on her.

"Where is Uncle Rock?"

"He is already at the home. He left with Miss Jenny and Henry an hour ago. Mr. Rockford requested that I escort you this evening."

"What is the evening about?"

"Uncle Rock will let you know when we get there."

Victoria took a deep breath and remembered to repeat to herself that God is in control. She walked up to Joseph, placed her hand on his arm, and a gentle kiss on his cheek. She softly spoke into his ear.

"You look handsome tonight in your gray suit. I have not seen you dressed up since the opening."

Joseph blushed a slight pink. "Thank you, Victoria. Are you ready to go?" He certainly did not want to linger since they were alone in the house.

"Yes. Lead the way."

Victoria and Joseph entered the main house about half an hour later to see several residents dancing. The tables were resting along the walls. Miss Ada was having a delightful time dancing with Henry and Uncle Rock was sitting nearby with a cup of coffee in his hand. There were only a handful of people there, but all were enjoying the music and the large selection of food displayed on the back table. Victoria made her way to Uncle Rock leaving Joseph standing in the doorway.

"Uncle Rock, everyone seems to be enjoying themselves."

"I hope you enjoy the evening. You look lovely in your new dress."

Victoria decided it did not matter what the evening was about. God was in control and she would make a point of enjoying the company of her friends who were becoming to be more like family. The small group playing in the corner switched to a waltz. A slightly grayed haired gentleman approached Ada and politely asked her to dance. Henry freely gave his permission and Ada began to glide across the floor.

"Whom is Ada dancing with?"

"That is Mr. Stanford Noel. He is one of the residents. He has started working in the fields with Henry. He is very strong and follows directions well. He is a wonderful asset to the home. He is only a few years older than Miss Ada. I believe he is intrigued with her."

"Ada does seem to be enjoying his company. Where is Miss Jenny? I thought Joseph indicated she came with you."

"She decided not to stay. Samuel and Eve left to bring her home shortly before you arrived. How was your ride with Joseph?"

"Uneventful. Most of the ride was done in silence. It was the most we have been alone in a while and we could not find anything to say."

"Did you feel uncomfortable?"

"I felt." Victoria took a moment to try to find the best way to describe how she felt. "Peaceful."

"Good."

The next dance was another slow song and Henry made his way to Victoria.

"May I have this dance?"

Victoria stood and accepted Henry's hand. They made their way to the center of the room in silence and were halfway through the song before Henry spoke.

"You looked content when you arrived with Joseph."

"We had an uneventful ride in."

"Is that all you wish to share?"

Victoria decided to tease Henry a little.

"A lady does not share those things."

Henry blushed slightly and then grew very serious.

"You are a married woman, Victoria. You should not be doing such things with another man."

Victoria giggled and a smile crept up on her face.

"Calm down, Henry. I was only teasing. We did not even talk the whole way here. It was a peaceful ride in."

"Good."

"Is that all you have to say?"

"What do you want me to say? That I am proud of you. That you are strong enough to spend as much time as you like without an escort."

"I would not go that far. I am happy to hear that you are proud of me. I am thankful for all your help. You have made great progress in seeing things through the eyes of God and his planning and timing."

"We should focus on dancing. We are getting a few strange looks since we are not staying in time."

They finished the dance in silence. At the end of the song, Victoria made her way to the food table. The food was a lavish spread of a traditional Thanksgiving menu. The turkey had been masterly carved, the baked macaroni was layered in several types of cheese, and the cornbread dressing was a mixture of sausage, onions, sweet cornbread and a variety of spices. She took a plate and served herself generous portions of everything on the table except for the pecan pie. She wanted to savor the pie later in the evening with a cup of coffee. Victoria had just started to eat when Ada, Henry, and Joseph joined her and Uncle Rock. They all ate in silence until they were too stuffed to move. The other guest continued to dance and took turns playing to give everyone a chance to eat and dance. It was a lovely evening. Victoria realized that the event tonight was so that those who were there would be able to share a Thanksgiving meal together. She recalled from earlier in the week that several residents would be going home for the holidays. Even though she disliked surprises, she was thankful for the time she had with everyone that evening.

"Victoria, would you like to go for a short walk. It is not too cold out."

Victoria looked at Henry seeking his approval. He nodded yes, as did Uncle Rock.

"I would be honored to take an evening stroll with you, Joseph."

The two made their way out in silence and walked for ten minutes before Joseph spoke.

"I am glad you were able to make it tonight. I am aware that you were not given much notice."

"I believe the lack of notice was a good thing. I did not spend any time worrying about being around you."

"What do you worry about?"

Victoria cheeks turned pink as she thought of the best way to answer.

"I see."

Victoria cheeks now turned red. She fanned her face with her gloved hand. What was he thinking replying like that?

"Joseph that was not necessary. What would others think if they saw me like this?"

"They would see a lovely young lady who was embarrassed about her feelings for a handsome young gentleman."

Victoria laughed.

"What do you find so funny."

"I have never heard you refer to yourself as handsome."

"Do you disagree with the assessment?"

"No. I believe we should change the conversation. It is a bit too personal."

They continued walking, making their way to the gardens in silence. The moon was nearly full giving them plenty of light to see. Victoria was tempted to lean in closer, but Joseph would adjust his stride each time making it impossible. Victoria was thankful. It was not time to be close. She felt it would be very soon. At least she hoped so. Now that she was in better control of her emotions she wanted to be able to express her love.

"Joseph have you started to court anyone?"

Joseph stopped abruptly and grief washed over his face before he composed himself.

"Why do you ask?"

"I want you to be happy. You may be tired of waiting for me."

"I have to admit that I am no longer waiting for you. At the same time I am also not looking, if there is a time when you at free to marry again, I believe we should start over. I want a clear mind and know what ever is decided that it is truly guided by the Lord."

"Thank you for letting me know. Henry has helped me a lot in accepting God's will in my life. I do still long to be with you Joseph, but I know I must follow God's will and he may only have us work together. I am trying to prepare myself to accept what he wants for me."

"I can tell you are doing better. I am thankful for Henry. It is a blessing to have him here. Have you been enjoying your time with Ada?"

"You must forgive me Joseph for being so ugly towards you when I first saw you with Ada. She is so wonderful. I do enjoy spending time with her. Part of me is a little jealous that you are with her every day."

"You do not need to keep apologizing for that. I have already forgiven you. You need to forgive yourself. You should not be jealous of her that is sinful. You should be happy that with her here I do not desire to seek out a wife."

Victoria was visibly hurt by that reply. She knew Joseph and Ada were not intimate. How could a man not want to be with a woman that way? After their one and only passionate kiss, she could feel how much it stirred his desire.

"Joseph, I am ready to return to the party. We have been gone long enough."

"Are you upset with me, Victoria?"

Victoria closed her eyes, willing the tears not to fall. How could he no longer desire her? She desired him more and more each day and not just in an intimate way.

"It is just late," she lied.

Joseph knew better, but did not press the issue. He would have a talk with Samuel. Maybe he would have an idea where he went wrong.

They returned to the main house and half the guest had returned home. Victoria spent a few minutes helping Ada clean up before Henry and Uncle Rock escorted her home. She was quiet the entire ride and said a subdued good night as they entered the house.

Henry and Uncle Rock went into the parlor to talk.

"Henry, do you know what is troubling her?"

"No, sir. I plan to find out tomorrow. She seemed sadder than upset. Maybe Joseph has found someone else."

"I am sure he would have told us."

"I would hope so, but you never know. I will see you in the morning, Uncle Rock."

"Good night, Henry."

Henry wasted no time in getting ready for bed. He changed clothes quickly and dashed under the warmth of the blankets. He did not take time to light a fire in the room. Uncle Rock took his time going to bed. He spent an hour writing to his younger sister, read a few passages from the bible, and ate a light snack of toast and jam before lighting the fire in his room and climbing into bed.

### / / /

"Will anyone be joining us today Uncle Rock," asked Victoria as she entered the kitchen to start breakfast. Miss Jenny had the rest of the week off so that she could spend the holiday with her family.

"It will be just the three of us."

"Joseph is not coming?"

"He had already accepted an invitation from Samuel before I had extended the offer. I had just assumed he would come here not thinking to offer in advance."

Victoria had noticed how sad Uncle Rock looked. She was determined to make today a day to be truly thankful for. The past Saturday morning she spent only an hour with Henry and her previous sadness over Joseph was lifted. She had been in high spirits the whole week. She was at peace accepting God's full control of her life. She stayed home the whole week not spending any time at the home. She completed all the bookkeeping for the week so that she could relax the rest of the week starting with Thanksgiving Day. Her focus would be spent on making Uncle Rock feel needed and loved.

"We can go visit at the Samuel's later if you would like. For now we will have a scrumptious breakfast of biscuits, eggs, potatoes, ham and white gravy. I would be delighted if you stayed in the kitchen and visited with me while I cooked."

Uncle Rock smiled as he took a sip of his coffee. "I would be honored."

### / / /

Thanksgiving weekend was the best Victoria could remember. The three of them worked together in the kitchen baking a small turkey and fixing all the trimmings. They played cards and checkers in the parlor till late in the night Thursday evening. The next day the three enjoyed a picnic lunch near the water's edge of the property. Henry built a small fire to help keep them warm. They talked for hours. Uncle Rock shared how much he missed his family and that he had written to them requesting an invitation to spend Christmas with them. They grew closer in those three days than they had in the months that they had been living under the same roof. Victoria and Henry made plans to go north for the holidays if Uncle Rock got the OK to visit with his family. They discussed the possibility of discussing their options with Joseph, but decided against it. Joseph would be needed at the home and Uncle Rock had given his blessing that the two of them could take two weeks off. They would let Joseph know once the plans were finalized.

# Chapter 14

"Victoria. Henry. I am so glad you are here. Did you have a good trip?"

Victoria and Henry looked at each other and smiled before Victoria replied to Mrs. Johnson.

"We are happy to be here. The trip was uneventful." Victoria sounded happy, but tired. She shifted her bag from one hand to the other. The weight was starting to get to her.

"Where are my manners? I have not even given you a chance to set your stuff down. You are in your usual rooms. Go make yourself at home. I will be in the kitchen."

After watching Mrs. Johnson leave them at the front door without another word, they wasted no time in bringing their bags to their separate rooms. Victoria would stay in the Johnson's daughter's room. As she entered the room, she noticed it was the same as it was when she was there for Easter. The flowery bedspread and light colored drapes gave a warm feminine feel. Keepsakes and books adorned the three-shelf pine bookshelf. Victoria set her bag down on the floor and plopped on top of the bed. Feeling a bit tired; she kicked off her shoes and laid back. She was thankful for the uneventful train ride and for the hospitality of the Johnson's since she did not want to spend the holidays alone. Even though she spent a great deal of time with Ada, she did not wish to spend the holidays with her and her family; however, it also meant she would not spend the time with Joseph either.

When she asked, he replied that it was not a good time to leave the home since there were now several residents and he had not trained anyone else to oversee the establishment. While her feelings for Joseph grew stronger, she felt that Joseph feelings had lessened. He did not look at her the way he used to and did not know what to think about it. Trying not to let sadness take hold she decided that the distance would do her some good and besides Henry was always wonderful company. Victoria yawned deeply, curled up into a ball, and closed her eyes to take a short nap.

Henry entered the small room at the end of the hallway and sighed as he dropped his bag on the tiny bed.

"Is there something wrong with your accommodations?"

Henry blushed bright red.

"Forgive me, Mr. Johnson. I do not know why I was saddened by the small room."

"We will talk later tonight."

"Thank you, Mr. Johnson."

Victoria woke an hour later to the smell of fresh baked bread. Her stomach rumbled, reminding her that it had been hours since they ate a light snack on the train. She stood and stretched her muscles, which were still tight from the train ride. A brisk walk after dinner if the weather was warm enough was what she needed. Hopefully, Henry would be available. Victoria entered the kitchen just as Mrs. Johnson was taking bread out of the oven.

"Did you enjoy your nap?"

"Yes, ma'am. What may I help you with?"

Mrs. Johnson did not reply. She picked up the bread knife and sliced a generous portion, placed it on a small plate, and handed it to Victoria.

"The butter and jam are on the counter. Help yourself."

Victoria knew from past experiences that if Mrs. Johnson was providing her with food that she needed to eat at least some of it before being allowed to help. After lightly buttering the hot bread and then spreading a thin layer of strawberry jam, she sat down at the table and closed her eyes in delight as she took her first bite. Mrs. Johnson made the most delicious sweet yeast bread she had ever had. She offered her assistance only after consuming her second slice.

"Thank you, Mrs. Johnson. The bread was wonderful as usual and just what I needed. What may I help you with?"

"You may cut up the carrots and potatoes to go with the pot roast. Once they are added, it should only be about an hour until we eat."

Victoria expertly peeled and diced up the vegetables, placed them in the pot, and put the dish back into the oven to finish cooking. Meanwhile, Mrs. Johnson had sliced herself some bread, and was enjoying it at the table with her feet prompt up on a nearby chair.

Henry entered the kitchen quietly in search of something warm to eat or drink. He had decided to take a walk after they had arrived to loosen up his stiff muscles and to clear his head. Noticing the steam rising from the half eaten loaf of bread, he made his way to the counter, sliced two think pieces and applied a thin layer of butter. Sitting down next to Mrs. Johnson, he ate in silence savoring the flavor.

Victoria poured Henry a cup of coffee and placed it next to him. She waited until he was finished with both slices before intruding into the silence.

"Henry, will you escort me on a walk after dinner. I could use the exercise."

Victoria gathered the plates from the table and began to wash them in the sink waiting for Henry's reply.

"We will see. I just came back from a walk. It may be too cold after we eat."

Mr. Johnson entered the room and took a seat at the table. Mrs. Johnson stood, walked to the counter, sliced a piece of bread, and brought it to her husband. He thanked her with a warm smile.

"If Henry is not available, I will take you for a stroll."

"Thank you Mr. Johnson. I appreciate it."

Mr. Johnson finished his plain slice of bread in a mere four bites, stood, walked up to his wife who was seated at the table, and kissed her gently on the lips.

"Henry I could use your assistance in the barn."

Mr. Johnson left the kitchen without waiting for a reply, grabbed his heavy coat, and shrugged into it on his way out the door. Henry nearly had to run to keep up with his fast pace.

### / / /

"What is Victoria doing for the holidays?"

Joseph walked away from the window he had been staring out of. His plans to find a wife, marry, and return home by Christmas had never happened. However, the woman he thought he loved was there now staying with his parent's neighbors.

"Victoria and Henry went to spend the holidays with the Johnson's."

"You do not seem happy about it."

Eve and Ada entered the parlor carrying trays with coffee and sandwiches for a light afternoon snack. Eve sat down next to her husband and he circled his arm around her. Ada sat in the other wingback chair opposite of Joseph.

"Samuel you know me so well. I should be the one with Victoria not Henry."

"Victoria and Henry," stated Ada.

"Ada, Victoria and Henry are friends. They only traveled together. Henry went to visit his family and Victoria went to see the Johnson's." Ada nodded her understanding. Samuel turned to look at Joseph. "Joseph you know we have not seen anything romantic between them."

"How can you be so sure? Not that it matters. She is still married."

"Joseph perhaps it would be best not to have this conversation in front of the ladies. We should go take a walk."

"You will do no such thing. Ada and I have just finished preparing a light snack. You will stay inside and enjoy it. This is a time to celebrate or have you both forgotten."

Samuel was the first to stand and began serving his wife and Ada coffee and sandwiches. Joseph on the other hand left the parlor without a word and headed outside. What he needed was time alone with the Lord. He was well aware that this was a time to celebrate, but he could not find his normal joy for the season. He missed Victoria and his family.

### / / /

After the evening meal, Mr. Johnson kept his word and took Victoria on an evening stroll. The weather was quite cold, but bearable with the heavy coat Mr. Rockford had bought for her earlier in the year. The moon, nearly full, shined the way as they walked in silence down the dirt road. By the time they returned back to the house, she felt relaxed, peaceful and secure in her love for Joseph. The Lord would sustain her until such time as he planned for her to be divorced and move on. She smiled as they entered the house; the Johnson's were such a blessing.

Victoria lay in bed looking out the window Christmas Eve watching the sunrise. It had been several days since Victoria and Henry arrived at the Johnson's to celebrate Christmas. Victoria spent the days assisting Mrs. Johnson with the cooking and cleaning while Henry spent the days with his family and his nights at the Johnson's. They had very little time together and Victoria was beginning to wonder if she had feelings for Henry since she missed him more than she thought she would. Thoughts of Joseph also invaded her mind day and night, but not with the same longing. Perhaps the difference was that she spent time with Henry daily and only saw Joseph typically twice a week. She certainly would never have a relationship with Joseph's cousin. He was already concerned about whether or not she would leave if they were to marry and have a child. Of course she could not blame him since she was not sure she could trust herself. Lord, I need your guidance.

As snow began to fall, her thoughts drifted back to the day before when she spent the day decorating the house and tree with red bows and evergreen branches. She thought it would make her homesick to be with her mother; however, it was surprisingly enjoyable. Her mother had a certain place for everything but Mrs. Johnson let her decorate however she pleased. To some the parlor may have looked disorganized and unbalanced; nevertheless, the randomness had an elegance that Victoria felt brought out the true meaning of the season.

The smell of coffee propelled her to get out of bed, dress, and begin the day. She walked into the kitchen and was greeted by Henry, who was already enjoying a cup of coffee.

"Good morning Victoria."

Victoria smiled and blushed slightly as she remembered her earlier thoughts.

"Good morning, Henry. What are your plans for today?"

Victoria did not wait for his reply and busied herself with making breakfast. Henry watched Victoria clang pots and pans around as she began breakfast preparations.

"If you are cooking breakfast, only cook for yourself. Everyone else has eaten."

Victoria turned around with a surprised look on her face.

"The Johnson's woke up earlier than usual. I was only in the mood for bread and cheese this morning. I just finished. If you would like, I will fix you some eggs."

Victoria blushed again.

"Are you feeling well this morning? Your face is flushed."

Victoria too embarrassed to speak dashed out of the kitchen not stopping until she was in the bedroom with the door closed. She slowly sank down to the floor with her back leaning against the door. Furious with herself for such lack of control, tears sprung from her eyes. Henry followed Victoria and he too leaned against the door and waited until her tears subsided.

"Victoria I prefer to talk face to face. Will you please join me in the kitchen? The Johnson's will not be back for several hours."

Henry waited for a reply, but none came. After waiting for what seemed like half an hour, he stood, walked to the kitchen, poured himself and Victoria a cup a coffee and brought both back with him to her door.

"I brought coffee if you want some. It is outside your door. I will walk away for a few minutes and then I will be back to talk."

Victoria waited until she heard Henry walk away. Opening the door just a gap, she grabbed the coffee and a plate of bread and cheese. She was not ready to talk, but she knew she would have to. Henry did not let any issue linger. By the time she finished her breakfast, Henry returned.

"I know the last few days have been difficult for you. I know you are enjoying your time here, but you are spending very little time with me and you are not with Joseph. I do love you Victoria."

A gasp was heard on the other side of the door.

"I know you love me too, but do not confuse a family love with one of intimacy. I do not know what I would do with you out of my life. I know it will happen one day. You will divorce and remarry. I will then be alone again. There is no reason to blush in my presence. I know you love Joseph and wish to marry him. If things were different."

Tears began to flow down Henry's face. He had not realized until that moment how much he longed for a wife of his own. How he longed for that woman to be Victoria.

"I do not think he wants me anymore."

Henry quickly wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. This was not where the conversation was supposed to go. He would not be responsible for taking the love of Joseph's life away from him.

"I am sure you are mistaken." Henry stood and began to pace.

Victoria hearing his restlessness knew that her change in feelings toward Henry where mutual. She did not want to hurt Joseph, but she also did not want to hurt Henry. Slowly opening the door, she peered out into the hallway. Henry looked just as much a wreck as she did with eyes red and puffy. Only a second went by before running to him and flinging her arms around him. With their bodies pressed against one another, primal emotions began to stir. Henry was no longer able to resist and began to passionately kiss Victoria, first on the neck and then moving to her lips. She was unable to resist his passion and kissed back with such fire that Henry responded by moving his hands down her back grasping her plump buttocks and picking her up. With her legs wrapped around his waist, he carried her back into her bedroom, laying her down on the bed on top of the quilt and climbed on top.

"Oh, Henry!"

Henry froze, realizing what he was about to do. He slowly climbed out of the bed and sat down on the floor, placing his hands over his face and began to cry again.

Victoria realizing what had just happened climbed out of the bed and sat on the floor next to Henry. They were still sitting on the floor, leaning on each other hours later when the Johnson's returned home.

It was Christmas morning before anyone went to bed. They spent hours sharing and seeking forgiveness. The Johnson's stayed up with them and encouraged them to express all of their thoughts and feelings. Henry for the first time accepted the fact that it was time to find a wife and that his love for Victoria went beyond brotherly. He had spent years flirting with ladies, but never actually courting anyone though everyone thought otherwise. That was the first time he had ever been intimate in any way with a woman. Victoria felt shame for allowing her urges to take over. She loved Joseph, but clearly also had feelings for Henry that went beyond brotherly love. Without a doubt, it was time to seek out a divorce. Before returning home, she would visit with Mr. Holmes to see if he had any word on Lawrence.

Victoria and Henry had agreed that they would refrain from any relationship beyond friendship until she was divorced. Both agreed that they had feelings for each and it would take time to see if it went beyond brotherly love. A moment of weakness did not mean they were meant to be together. They would confess their sin to Joseph together upon their return. Later that morning, the four had a huge Christmas breakfast before going to church.

### / / /

Christmas morning Joseph woke to the sounds of cooking. Ada had been spending her nights with her sister since Eve scolded him about not keeping with the spirit of Christmas. He walked for hours that night thinking about Victoria and Henry and concluded that it was not unlikely for Henry and Victoria to fall in love. They spent a large amount of time together and Henry was able to calm and steady her emotions, as he never could. She needed a man like Henry as a husband since she was able to share more of herself with him. He was not sure when it happened, but his feelings had changed. Maybe it was because Victoria had become independent and strong. Nothing like the young lady he met when she was running away from her troubles. A part of him still had concerns about having a family with her. The longer he walked, the more he realized it was time to end the waiting. There would be no future with Victoria. It was time to move on.

The smell of eggs frying brought him back to the present and he quickly dressed to see who was in the house cooking. He had planned to cook in about an hour for the residents that did not leave to visit with family. It was going to be a large celebration of twenty for food and gift exchange before holding their own small service. Since their numbers had grown, it was too complicated to coordinate bringing all the residents to church. They did not have the funds to establish their own church on the property, but he would look into having a preacher come by once a month.

Joseph walked into the kitchen to find Ada in the kitchen with her hair down and still in her nightdress. He had not heard her come in. Assuming she arrived early to surprise him, he leaned on the wall, taking in the sight before him. This was the first time he allowed himself to drink in her beauty and her lovely curves were more visible in the thin dress. Moments later she turned to see him standing there, but was not at all startled which surprised him. Turning back around, she finished cooking without a word. Once everything was complete, she set the table, lit a candle, placed it on the table and turned off the other lights. Slowly she approached him and reached her hand out to him. He took her hand not sure what her intent was. She pulled him into her, pressing her body onto his and wrapping her arms around him.

"Merry Christmas Joseph. I wanted to give you your gift before anyone else arrived."

She released her hold on him and stepped back. Her hands went to the front of her gown and began to unbutton the buttons. She had unbuttoned to her waist before Joseph took her into his arms and kissed her passionately with his hands running through her unbound hair. Just as suddenly as he acted, he withdrew, his breath heavy.

"Ada we cannot do this." Joseph increased his distance, but could not draw his eyes away from her.

"Why?" Ada looked puzzled, not sure what she had done wrong. Her gown was open, exposing more skin as she tried to move closer to Joseph.

"We are not married." Joseph closed the distance and began to button her nightdress.

"We marry." Ada looked hopeful as she gazed into his eyes.

"We will discuss that later. For now we will eat and then prepare for the others to join us."

# Chapter 15

The day after Christmas Joseph left the house before dawn to make the long walk to the Fredrick's house to have a long talk with Eve about her sister. Even though he was unsure if his feelings had changed towards Ada, he was certain their living arrangements had to change. Before he had always considered her like a sister. It was not proper for them to live in the same house the way it appeared she felt and the way he acted Christmas morning. His side began to knot up from his quick pace as sweat dripped down the back of his neck. Joseph thought he settled the matter earlier in the day until Ada came into his room in the middle of the night with nothing on. At first he thought he was still dreaming of Victoria until she brushed her hand across his jaw and kissed him gently on the lips. He used his quilt to cover her, leaving only the thin sheet to cover him. 'You like?' She had asked as she noticed his arousal. "Go back to your room," he replied with more calm than he felt. Once she left, he got up, locked his door, grabbed the extra quilt that was draped on the chair and lay back in bed. It was hours before he was able to fall back asleep.

Joseph knocked lightly on the Fredrick's door and began pacing, waiting for someone to answer. Eve always an earlier riser answered in no time.

"Joseph what is the matter?" Joseph did not know how to begin. Anguish washed over his face. He loved having Ada in the house and seeing her every day. But, did she understand any of it.

"Ada." Eve looked alarmed. She wasted no time in pulling Joseph into the house out of the cold.

"What is wrong with my sister?"

Again Joseph hesitated.

"Joseph!"

"She wants me."

Eve began to frantically pace with her hands clenched at her sides.

"I trusted you Joseph. My sister was to be safe with you. You are supposed to be in love with Victoria. If you have done anything to my sister!"

"Eve, I believe Joseph is just as concerned as you are. Joseph have a seat. Eve, please fix us some coffee. I need to talk with Joseph in private for a moment."

Eve left in a huff to do as her husband requested.

"Joseph, why are you here?"

"I needed Eve's advice about her sister. We need different living arrangements or we need to marry immediately. It is not proper anymore. Everything has changed. But is Eve even capable of being a wife and mother. Does she understand?"

"When did your feelings change?"

"I honestly do not think they have. I only realized the attraction yesterday. I do not even know if I was attracted to her or just filling a void."

"Then why are you considering marrying her?"

"I do not know what else to do. I cannot just throw her out. Send her away. I also cannot have her coming into my room undressed in the middle of the night either."

"Do you think you could love her as a husband loves a wife?"

"How would I know? I have never been a husband."

Eve took that moment to walk back in with a tray of coffee. She had been listening in on most of the conversation from the hallway.

"Ada has never done anything like this before. I do not believe you Joseph. She could not have exposed herself to you. How could you say such a thing?"

"I was just as shocked as you are. That is why I am here. Can she be a wife and mother? Does she understand what it means to be married?"

Joseph's mind was racing. He wanted to do right by Ada; yet he was in love with Victoria even though he had decided it was time to move on. O Lord, how did everything get so confusing. Please guide me.

Eve paced for several long minutes while the men drank their coffee.

"I believe she does." Eve said softly. "Henry would be better able to assess the situation. He has been talking with all of the residents getting to know each of them."

### / / /

Victoria woke before dawn the day after Christmas, dressed quickly and left the house without a sound. She needed time away from everyone to think. The kiss with Henry had been impulsive. They had talked for hours with the Johnson's, but now Victoria was not sure about her feelings. The only thing she was sure of was that it was time to file for a divorce. Until that happened, she was not free to express her love for another. She loved Joseph and she had not given him the opportunity to court her. Henry was safe and convenient. Did that mean he was to be her husband? Doubt and shame washed over her and tears fell softly down her cheek.

"Victoria is that you?"

Victoria looked up and absent-mindedly wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Yes, Mr. Holmes."

"I was wondering when I was going to see you. Do you have time for coffee?"

Victoria hesitated with her reply. The anguish she felt at betraying Joseph washed over her.

"If you have not eaten, I would be more than happy to fix you some eggs. I was just about to fix myself some breakfast."

"That would be lovely Mr. Holmes; but."

"Mrs. Holmes left last night to stay with our eldest son. She will be away for three days."

There was no reply needed. Mr. Holmes motioned to the door and Victoria preceded him into the house and made her way directly to the kitchen. She started cooking breakfast giving her something to do while Mr. Holmes pored each of them a cup of coffee. Once she finished, they both sat down at the kitchen table to eat.

"It is wonderful to see you. Joseph indicated that you were coming to visit the Johnson's. He plans to come for Easter if he can coordinate it."

Tears began to pool in Victoria's eyes. Mr. Holmes waited until Victoria seemed to calm a bit, then stood, walked behind her and placed his hands on her shoulder.

"Heavenly Father, you daughter Victoria needs you. She is in need of your loving embrace to comfort her and watch over her. She is hurting, Lord. Help her to understand that there is no sin that you will not forgive. Help me Lord to help her. I want to be an instrument of your peace."

Mr. Holmes sat back down and continued to drink his coffee and eat his eggs.

"I need your help. I feel it is now time to file for a divorce. Are you able to check again to see if Lawrence has already filed?"

"I will send out inquires today and send word to you as soon as I know something. Would you like me to recommend a lawyer for you if he has not?"

"Yes, please."

"Is there anything else that you wish to share?"

Victoria shook her head no. She was not prepared to share her sin with Joseph's father.

"Will you tell me stories about Joseph when he was a child?"

"I would be delighted to. Then you can tell me how things are going with the feeble-minded home."

"It is a deal."

Victoria offered a meek smile and a silent prayer in hope that she would be able to follow God's will whatever he asked of her.

### / / /

"Samuel do you think Ada will be happy living with Miss Brocks."

"She is the most intelligent out of the residents and the oldest. I know her daughter is not able to visit as often as she would like and Ada would be able to fill that need. She has seemed a bit lonely at meals lately."

"How do you think Ada will take the news that she has to move?"

"I think it would be best for Eve to tell her and to explain why."

"Will she understand?"

Eve took that moment to walk in with a tray of coffee.

"I heard you talking about having her move in with Miss Brocks. I will just tell her that she is needed more living with her than living in the main house. While I believe she would understand, I feel she will be more willing if it means helping someone. Samuel and I will take care of it this morning."

"Thank you. Samuel will you take care of everything for the next few days? I need time away."

"I would be happy to. Besides, progress is slow right now with the cold. Do you plan to stay at Mr. Rockford's?"

"Yes. If you need me, just send someone."

An hour later Joseph was walking up to Mr. Rockford's house. It had been over a month since he was there last. He missed staying there and visiting with Mr. Rock and Victoria. Using his key, he unlocked the door and let himself in. Walking slowly through the house, he took in his surroundings noticing how nothing had changed since he was there last. The smell of fresh lemons caused him to reflect on how wonderful a job Miss Jenny did despite only being hired to cook. When he entered his old bedroom, he sighed. With the exception of Henry's clothes in the wardrobe, nothing else had changed. He felt at home. Feeling overwhelmingly tired, he decided to take off his shoes and climb into bed. Sleep came quickly.

### / / /

"Henry I have decided it is best that I head home tomorrow. I want you to stay the rest of the week as you planned and continue to visit with your family. I am sure Mr. Holmes would also welcome a visit."

"What about us?"

Victoria stood and walked to the window to gaze at the snow covered ground. She continued without turning around.

"As long as I am married there is no us and I do not know if there will ever be. I love you dearly, but I do not know that we belong as husband and wife. I need some time alone to think through everything that has happened. I still love Joseph. I need to see him and ask for his forgiveness. What happened the other day was a sin? I think it would also be best if you find a room at the home."

"You are throwing me out?" Henry asked softly.

"Yes. It is for the best," replied Victoria just above a whisper. Her gaze still fixed on the snow-covered ground.

Henry left the room without another word and went straight to his room. Victoria went to the kitchen to fix herself a cup of tea.

"You are making the right decision. You need time to think and pray. Everything happens for a reason."

"I know Mrs. Johnson. I just feel bad about how I have hurt Henry and how hurt and betrayed Joseph will feel."

"They will both forgive you dear. Sit down and enjoy your tea and visit with me. This is our last night together."

Victoria did as she was asked. Visiting with Mrs. Johnson would help the time go by faster. She did not think she would sleep anyway.

Victoria arrived back in Mobile the next evening, tired but delighted to be home. The temperature was a delightful fifty-nine degrees. After taking in a deep breath of the moist air, she let herself into the house. The fragrant smell of roast filled her nose as she walked past the kitchen. She was puzzled that Miss Jenny was cooking and that the house was warm with several fires going since she had not sent word of her early arrival. Wanting to get comfortable before greeting Miss Jenny, she walked silently to her room, placed her bag on the floor by the bed and changed from her heavy wool dress to a lighter cotton. Victoria smiled with delight at the warm welcome and wondered how Miss Jenny knew she was returning early. With eyes focused on the local paper she had gotten when she arrived at the train station, she walked into the kitchen humming a tune.

"Hello Victoria"

Victoria started and her hand flew to her chest in an attempt to calm her racing heart. The last thing she expected was to hear a man's voice.

"Joseph."

"Miss Jenny will be back in a few days. You were not due home for several days. It is definitely a welcomed surprise. The roast is almost ready."

Victoria stood there watching the back of Joseph as he stirred a pot on the stove. The newspaper forgotten and hanging by her side.

"Just have a seat. I will be free to visit in a few moments."

Joseph grinned. He never expected to see Victoria. It was divine intervention. Now he was certain there would be no marriage with Ada. His heart leapt for joy as he heard the sound of her voice despite his burden of having to confess his sin.

Victoria did as requested. She sat in her usual spot and tried to read the paper again. After several attempts at reading the same first four lines of a story, she folded the newspaper and watched Joseph work in silence. Something must have happened for him to be here instead of at the home since she had not sent word that she was returning. While she thought she would have days before confessing, she would tell him today what had happened and not let it linger. Now would be a good time as any, since he was busy and she would not have to look directly at him.

"Joseph. I am seeking your forgiveness. I kissed Henry Christmas Eve. I do not know why. I talked with your father and he is going to see if Lawrence has filed for a divorce and if not I plan to. It is time."

Joseph listened without a word. At first he scowled at hearing that she kissed his cousin. Then when she said it was time to get a divorce his heart swelled. This was just what he needed to hear. If Victoria was ready to move on, then he needed to see where their relationship would go. Over the last few days he realized that Ada was not right for him. He loved her dearly, but he needed a woman that was strong willed with a sharp mind. The timing could not be more than perfect.

"You are forgiven. I need to seek your forgiveness. I kissed Ada Christmas Eve."

Victoria started to laugh. She could not believe her ears. They had both been sinful at the same time. This would make it much easier to fully forgive herself and seek the relationship the Lord wants for her.

"You are forgiven. I trust we do not need to share the details since it appears we both let our emotions get the better of us."

Victoria silently prayed he would agree. The last thing she wanted was to explain how intimate the kiss was. She blushed just reflecting back.

"The only thing I wish to discuss is your desire to get a divorce. Are you sure it is time?"

"The kiss helped me realize it. I have been waiting for a sign. Until that day, I always got the feeling that it was not time yet. I know you did not understand. I felt that your feelings toward me started to change."

Joseph took the pot he had been stirring and poured the contents into a large bowl. He then grabbed two small towels, opened the oven door, and removed the roast. After slicing the roast and placing part of it on a platter, he took out two plates from the nearby cabinet, gathered the appropriate silverware and set the table not once looking at Victoria. Victoria watched in silence. Once he placed the food and coffee on the table, he sat down, bowed his head in prayer and then looked up into Victoria's eyes.

"I cannot deny that my feelings had started to change. I was getting tired of waiting. Now."

"Now."

"Now when you are finally free, we can begin courting if you are."

Victoria did not let him finish. "Still willing."

"Yes."

It took great control for Victoria to remain seated and not get up and wrap her arms around him. She smiled, her eyes bright with joy. "Yes, Joseph, I am still willing."

Joseph smiled back.

"Will you say grace for us?"

Victoria reached her hand out to hold Joseph's and bowed her head. She said her usual prayer that she learned as a child still not able to pray from the heart in front of others.

They ate in silence with only the clanking of utensils hitting the plates. Both were lost in their own thoughts. The time was near where they could explore if they were meant to be together. Joseph was delighted and reserved at the same time since they would need to have a long discussion about whether they would have children. Not wanting to go through what Lawrence did when Victoria's hormones took over, he wondered if he could be happy without children. After all, the residents at the home were like children. Victoria was concerned that Joseph would want children, but she was not ready to risk it. She wanted to find true love and happiness without the complications of a pregnancy. At times she thought that she could not bond to the child because she thought she had been unfaithful, but that thought never rang true. It could be the Lords way of telling her he had other plans that did not include children. Victoria was finishing up the last of her coffee when Joseph stood and began to clear away the dishes.

"Joseph, I insist on cleaning up. After all, you did all of the cooking."

Joseph did not argue. He felt the need for a little space and this was perfect. He left the room without a word and made his way to the parlor.

Victoria cleaned up at a slow pace. She could see the emotions crossing over Joseph's face while they ate. They had both been through a lot emotionally the last few days and they both had sinned, kissing another. She vividly remembered her jealousy of Ada, but it appeared since Joseph was here that he needed his distance from her. While this gave her hope that Joseph still loved her, she would not push. After all, she made him wait for such a long time that his feelings had started to change. What if she had never felt she could divorce? It certainly was not right to make Joseph remain single waiting for her. A thought crossed her mind and she let her arms drop dropping the cup she had been holding. She stood motionless despite the loud sound it made as it broke into pieces. The thought just occurred to her that just because she felt it was now time to divorce Lawrence, it did not mean that she would ever marry again.

Joseph came running into the kitchen seconds later. Victoria was just standing there with tears streaming down her face silently crying. After carefully guiding her to the sofa in the parlor, he went back into the kitchen to sweep up the broken cup. Feeling dessert would lighten the mood, he took out a small plate and placed a few ginger cookies on it and poured each of them a small glass of milk. He carried it into the parlor on a tray and set it down on a nearby table.

"Victoria I am sure you are just tired. We can talk if you want to, but we do not have to. We can just enjoy a little dessert and then call it at night. I do have to get back to the home tomorrow."

Victoria sat there silently not bothering to reply and allowed Joseph to wait on her. They again ate in silence. Once Victoria had her fill, she stood, kissed Joseph gently on the cheek, and made her way to her room. He was correct. She was tired and she did not want to talk until she had more control of her emotions and time to pray.

Joseph watched her go, knowing he would spend the night in prayer. He assumed she was struggling with God's will, just like he was. After waiting for this moment for months, he was still not sure if it was God's will for the two of them to marry. He would make a point of returning early the next evening so that they could have time for Bible study and possibly sharing their thoughts.

# Chapter 16

January 1903

Victoria was lounging on the sofa in front of the fireplace in the parlor when Miss Jenny entered the room holding a telegram. Victoria had not realized that there had been a knock on the door. Miss Jenny handed it to her and went to leave.

"Please stay. Whatever it is, it affects all of us."

"Thank you, Miss Victoria."

Victoria decided it was best to read it out loud.

"Victoria. My return delayed. Sister died. Rockford."

"That is so awful, Miss Victoria. At least he was able to see her before it happened. I know he was delighted to go for a visit."

"Yes he was Miss Jenny. I will need to head out to the home and inform the others. They will want to know."

"When is Mr. Henry returning?"

"I do not know. When he does, he will be moving into one of the rooms at the home."

"What has changed?"

Victoria did not know how to reply. She was too embarrassed to say what she allowed to happen. Ashamed of how little control she had. Miss Jenny was looking at her waiting for a reply. It was not a demanding look, but one of concern.

"I will not judge you Miss Victoria. We all make mistakes. Our sins are forgiven. That is why our Savior died for us."

Tears fell down Victoria's cheeks, but she did not wipe them away. Miss Jenny embraced her with a hug for just a brief moment, stood, and left the room in silence. She returned just moments later with her hat firmly in place, jacket securely buttoned and a small basket filled with baked goods.

"Miss Victoria our talk can wait for another time. It is best that we head to the home and let the others know. We do not wish to be out late. It will be quite chilly once the sun sets."

Victoria stood and smiled at Miss Jenny. Her charming ways always brightened her spirits. Without a word, Victoria left the room and gathered her own hat and jacket. Victoria prayed that Uncle Rock was doing well and that the death of his sister was not overwhelming him as they walked in silence the two miles to the home. She missed him more than she thought possible, even more so now that his return date was unknown. The house was sure to be lonely at night, but she could not with good conscious have Henry or Joseph stay there now that Uncle Rock was not returning for a while.

There were many business issues that she would now have to address on her own. She had delayed talking with some of the investors in hopes of Uncle Rock's return in the New Year. The financing for the next phase was needed and she would have to begin scheduling meetings and securing the funds. Without the Lord's guidance and the generous giving they would not be able to proceed and the whole project could be in jeopardy. At that thought she frowned since she did not want to be the reason that these special people would be out of a home.

Miss Jenny took hold of Victoria's hand and gave a squeeze along with a bright smile. Victoria squeezed back accepting the unspoken gesture of support. Moments later, the houses came into view along with Joseph talking with Ada on the front porch of the main house.

Joseph turned the moment he heard the footsteps. He finished his conversation with Ada and then rushed to see Victoria and Miss Jenny.

"What do I owe this pleasure?"

Victoria's breathing became labored. Miss Jenny took hold of Victoria's hand and led her around Joseph and into the main house with out a word. Joseph followed with a puzzled look on his face.

Victoria began to cry again. Joseph wrapped his arm around her and guided her to a nearby chair. Once she composed herself, she took out the telegram and handed it to him. He read it yet was puzzled by how upset Victoria was.

"Is there something that I am missing?"

"Joseph, I believe Miss Victoria is concerned about living alone and having the weight of the business resting on her shoulders. We do not know when Uncle Rock will be returning. I am aware that finances are low."

Victoria nodded in agreement.

"What can I do to help?"

"Nothing that you are not already doing Joseph. It is kind of you to offer." Victoria stated through sniffles. Joseph pulled out his handkerchief and passed it to her.

"I can do more. I can be there when you need to meet with the investors."

"I cannot ask you to do more."

"You are not asking. I insist. I am invested in this project. The residents have become like family. I do not want to see anything happen to them."

"I will think about it."

"I will follow up with you in a few days. You do not have to do this alone."

"Miss Victoria, I can move in if you like. I will take Henry's room."

"That is a wonderful idea, Miss Jenny," stated Joseph. He stood and walked to the kitchen, grabbed three cups, the pot of coffee and brought them back to the table.

"Miss Jenny I see you brought us some treats. It is greatly appreciated. After we have ourselves a light snack, I will hitch up the horse and carriage and bring you ladies home. I would like to stay for the evening meal if you do not mind Miss Jenny."

"I do not mind, Mr. Holmes."

"Please call me Joseph."

"Yes, sir. Mr. Joseph."

### / / /

As he approached Mr. Rockford's house Henry smiled, took out his key, and let himself in. He heard laughter from the kitchen as he walked down the hallway to his bedroom. He dropped his bag louder than he intended to when he saw how his bedroom had been transformed. There were flowers on the nightstand, a pastel colored quilt on the bed, and lace lined curtains on the window. There were several boxes along one wall.

Upon hearing the noise, Joseph, Victoria and Miss Jenny rushed toward the bedroom. They all smiled when Henry turned around with shock on his face.

"Welcome back Henry," stated Joseph with a bit of anger he did not realize was still there. He thought a few days would have been enough to get over his hurt and jealousy.

"Mr. Henry, I took the liberty of packing your belongings along with Mr. Joseph's. I moved in earlier today."

"You are throwing me out, Victoria. What about us?"

Victoria blushed. She thought they came to an understanding before she left even though she had done most of the talking, expressing her desire not to move forward with a relationship with anyone until her divorce was final. Henry must have held onto the hope that they would go back to the way things were before they left. It would never be the same again. Victoria walked away and straight into Mr. Rockford's study. She located the telegram that was sent earlier that day lying neatly on top of the desk, walked back to the others, and passed the telegram to Henry. He read in silence.

"Forgive me, Victoria. Joseph is there a place for me to stay at the home?"

"You can stay in the main house with me. I will explain everything later tonight."

The four walked back to the kitchen in silence. Miss Jenny took out another plate and glass for Henry and they continued their evening meal with light chatter. Even though they took their time eating, Joseph and Henry left shortly after, riding home in silence with the wagon loaded down with their few belongings.

Joseph prayed a quick, silent pray as they approached the home. He could not keep his silence much longer and would need to have a discussion with Henry. How would they manage to work together when they were both in love with the same woman? Lord, give me guidance and peace. Henry is my cousin, my family. I want to forgive him. I want to punch him in the face. I am a mixture of emotions. Help me.

After the last box was brought into the home, Henry broke the silence.

"I am sorry Joseph. Please forgive me."

Joseph stood stone-faced, staring through Henry.

"I know you think of me as a ladies man."

Joseph did not blink.

"I have never been with a woman before."

A look of disbelief crossed Joseph's face.

"As God as my witness, the incident with Victoria was the first time I have even kissed a woman like that."

Joseph smiled reflecting back to the opening of the home when Victoria passionately kissed him under the trees.

"She does have a way about her."

"That she does. Please forgive me Joseph."

"You are forgiven, Henry. Did you actually think you would just be able to return as if nothing happened?"

Henry shrugged.

"Go get yourself settled. We will talk later."

Henry went to his new room without a word.

### / / /

"I cannot believe that Henry thought we could go back to the way things were."

Victoria continued to pace in the parlor in front of the blazing fireplace. Anger shown on her face yet her eyes glistened with tears.

"Why not?" Miss Jenny asked matter of fact.

Victoria paused briefly in her pacing and blushed slightly as a single tear escaped.

"Because it is too late, too much has happened." Victoria voice bellowed through the room.

"It is never too late." Miss Jenny stood and gazed out the window looking up at the stars.

"You do not understand Miss Jenny." Victoria voice went soft and sorrowfully.

"I understand that all things are possible with the Lord." Miss Jenny continued to look up at the stars.

"Not now Miss Jenny. I have a headache. I will be in my room if you need me."

Victoria quickly fled without allowing Miss Jenny to reply. She was struggling with her faith ever since the kiss. She had hoped to talk with Uncle Rock but now she would have to figure it out on her own.

Miss Jenny continued to look out the window until she heard the door close to Victoria's room. She then pulled the curtains closed, extinguished the fire and made her way to the kitchen to prepare a cup of tea. Miss Jenny placed the tea on a tray along with a small plate of sliced cinnamon raisin bread, placed the tray on the floor next to Victoria's door, knocked once, and went to her new room.

Hours later Victoria opened up her bedroom door and gasped as she nearly stepped on the tray. She had forgotten that Miss Jenny had knocked on her door. Picking up the tray, she carried it to the parlor and placed it on a nearby table. After lighting one candle not wanting to wake Miss Jenny with the overhead light, she picked up Uncle Rock's worn black leather bible and sat comfortably in his chair. Not knowing where to begin she thumbed through the pages and then began reading.

"The transgression of the wicked saith within my heart, that there is no fear of God before his eyes. For he flattereth himself in his own eyes, until his iniquity be found to be hateful. The words of his mouth are iniquity and deceit: he hath left off to be wise, and to do good. He deviseth mischief upon his bed; he setteth himself in a way that is not good; he abhorreth not evil. Thy mercy, O Lord, is in the heavens; and thy faithfulness reacheth unto the clouds. Thy righteousness is like the great mountains; thy judgments are a great deep: O Lord, thou preservest man and beast. How excellent is thy lovingkindness, O God! therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of thy wings. They shall be abundantly satisfied with the fatness of thy house; and thou shalt make them drink of the river of thy pleasures. For with thee is the fountain of life: in thy light shall we see light. O continue thy lovingkindness unto them that know thee; and thy righteousness to the upright in heart. Let not the foot of pride come against me, and let not the hand of the wicked remove me. There are the workers of iniquity fallen: they are cast down, and shall not be able to rise." (Psalm 36)

Victoria pondered the passage for several minutes before standing and pacing around the room. After pacing for what felt like half an hour, she grew weary and dropped back into the chair. Not knowing what else to do she bowed her head and began to pray.

"Heavenly Father, I am trying to put my trust in you. I want to be in the shadow of your wings, in your loving embrace and protection. I love both of them Lord, but in different ways. I know I have no right to move on yet. I know I am still married. Not for long though. Well, you already know that. Help me to see your light and shower me with your loving-kindness. Watch over Uncle Rock and his family. I know I am being a bit selfish, but I want him back. I miss him so much. It is as if I have lost my father all over again. How do I cope with that? How do I run this home and manage all of the finances. I cannot do it alone Lord. I need help."

Tears streamed down Victoria's face as she wrapped her arms around herself. Sleep claimed her minutes later.

A knock at the front door startled Victoria awake. She held her hand to her chest in an effort to calm her breathing. It took a moment for her to realize that she was still in the parlor and that the sun had not risen yet. A large quilt was draped over her and a small glass of water rested on the nearby table. Uncle Rock's bible lay open on the floor next to her to the passage she had read the night before. Before she could stand, she heard footsteps in the hallway, the door open, mumbled conversation, and then the door close. Victoria closed her eyes in relief. She was certain that she did not look presentable. Thankfully, it was only someone delivering a message. Upon this realization, Victoria flew out of the room in search of Miss Jenny.

Miss Jenny was in the kitchen pouring herself a cup of steaming aromatic coffee.

"Miss Jenny, who was at the door?"

"I did not realize you were awake, Miss Victoria." Miss Jenny pulled a note from her pocket and passed it to her. "It was a delivery boy. He brought you a telegram."

Victoria slowly sat down at the kitchen table and her hands began to shake. She feared Uncle Rock was not returning. Why else would someone send her a telegram?

"Would you like me to read it to you?"

"Yes please." Victoria handed the telegram back to Miss Jenny.

"Victoria, Lawrence remarried. Adopted girl. Mother lives in Sunder. Holmes."

Victoria began to cry at the news. She was happy and sad. She was free to marry since Lawrence took care of filing the divorce. Gloria was with her father and her mother would be there for her daughter.

"I thought you would be happy Miss Victoria."

"I am happy Miss Jenny. I am also sad."

"Why sad. You are free to marry. Mr. Lawrence has moved on with his life. This must be how God planned it. You can be with Joseph now and start a family."

Victoria began to cry uncontrollably. Her thoughts began to torture her. How could she have ever given up her child? There was no going back. Lawrence moved on without her. She was not meant to be a wife and have a family. Her mother would be there for Lawrence, their child, and his new wife. She would not ever be there for her. She could never have that life. Who would want a flight risk, someone who could not bond with her own daughter?

Miss Jenny, not knowing how to console Miss Victoria, quickly left the room to don her coat, hat and gloves. She rushed outside without a word, saddled the horse, and trotted down the lane to the home.

Joseph and Henry were enjoying a quiet moment in the kitchen of the main home drinking coffee when they heard a horse approaching. Before they could make it outside, Miss Jenny was letting herself in.

"Victoria is upset. She needs help."

"I think you should go, Joseph."

"No Henry, it needs to be you," stated Miss Jenny matter of fact with hands resting on her hips. "Take the horse. Joseph can bring me back in the carriage later. The door is open."

Joseph nodded his approval and Henry rushed to his room for his outerwear. He left without saying a word.

# Chapter 17

February 1903

Victoria true to her promise to Henry the month before was completely devoted to caring for herself and the home instead of seeking out romance. Most nights she still cried herself to sleep, but she held her head high during the day putting up a good front. Miss Jenny knew better, but promised not to say anything.

Today, Henry would be present during an investor meeting at the request of Mr. Cooperton. He wished to hear the plans about the farming that would take place. Victoria perused her wardrobe to select the perfect ensemble for the meeting. She finally decided on the rose colored dress with delicate lace along the neck and bodice. The dress provided a luring curvy appearance, especially since it fit a bit snug along the hips.

Henry was speechless when Victoria answered his knock at the door mid-morning. Victoria simply smiled, knowing that she had chosen the correct dress. She had been doing extremely well the past month, finding new investors for the home. They were more than willing to escort her out to dinner to discuss the finances. All so far gave more generously than expected. The increase in funds made the next phase of construction possible sooner than expected. The crew had already begun building the new homes. It still amazed her how much of a need there was for those who were feeble-minded.

"Henry, thank you for coming today. Mr. Cooperton should be here shortly. Miss Jenny has prepared light refreshments for us to have in the parlor while we talk."

"Do you normally have refreshments for these meetings?"

"Yes. Miss Jenny's cinnamon bread and strawberry jam are irresistible.

"Thank you Miss Victoria," stated Miss Jenny as she walked into the parlor carrying a tray.

Moments later there was a knock at the door. Victoria checked her dress to make sure nothing was out of place and then made her way out of the parlor to answer the door. Miss Jenny followed her out of the room and went to the kitchen to prepare the midday meal.

Victoria entered the parlor escorted by Mr. Cooperton. She made a point to lean in close so their shoulders brushed together.

"Henry, I would like you to meet Mr. Cooperton. Mr. Cooperton this is Henry, our resident farm advisor and counselor."

Mr. Cooperton left Victoria's side to shake Henry's hand. He then took a seat in Mr. Rockford's wing back chair and Henry took the other. Victoria sat on the sofa across from Mr. Cooperton. Several minutes had passed and the conversation strayed off topic despite Victoria's effort to discuss the reason for the meeting, donations for the home. In an effort to gain attention, Victoria stood and fixed Mr. Cooperton a plate. She brushed his hand lightly as she handed him the plate and then rested her hip on the arm of the chair. The distraction worked ending Henry and Mr. Cooperton's conversation.

"Mr. Cooperton we have funds for our current set of homes, yet there is a waiting list with more people in need of a home than we currently have scheduled to be built. We would like your support on the fourth phase of the project, which is an apartment complex to house forty residents."

"Henry I would like to hear more about the farming that is planned. Would you care to take a walk with me?"

Henry looked at Victoria's crestfallen face and then back at Mr. Cooperton who looked pleading.

"Certainly, Mr. Cooperton."

Both men stood and slipped on their outerwear. Victoria went to her room to secure her hat and coat and when she returned the men were already outside. Peering out the window, she saw them striding briskly down the lane toward the home. Victoria settled herself on the sofa and waited for them to return. She was seething by the time Henry returned three hours later and not accompanied by Mr. Cooperton.

"Henry. Where is Mr. Cooperton?

"He went on his way."

"We needed his donation for the apartments."

"Do you normally dress and act this way when meeting investors?"

"Of course. I dress nicely and act friendly."

"You were flirting. Mr. Cooperton indicated he felt uneasy in your presence."

"I was not flirting."

"Victoria there is no reason to deny it. You do not typically dress and act the way you did today. If you were married, your husband certainly would not be happy."

"Well, I am not married and I have no one to answer to about my behavior. I was not flirting."

"We have had many talks, Victoria. You do have someone you answer to."

"Who?"

"God."

Victoria stormed out of the room as tears started to pool in her eyes. Who was he to indicate she was not proper. He was the one that took advantage with that kiss at Christmas. In her haste she nearly knocked over Miss Jenny as she headed for her room.

"I am sorry, Miss Jenny."

"He is correct, Miss Victoria. I did not feel it was my place to say anything. You dressed more properly when Mr. Rockford was here. You need to be careful."

Victoria did not reply, knowing Miss Jenny was right. She had changed in the last month and she enjoyed the attention. It helped her to not focus on Joseph. A good night's sleep and things would be better in the morning.

The next morning Victoria and Miss Jenny went about their normal morning routine before Sunday services. Miss Jenny fixed a simple breakfast of fried eggs and served it with a slice of bread and hot rich coffee. Victoria spent the morning in the parlor with Mr. Rockford's bible. At times she read through a passage or two and other times she simply held it close. It was getting close to time to leave when there was a knock at the door. Knowing that Miss Jenny was still in her room getting ready, Victoria made her way to the door.

She was speechless when she saw Joseph standing at the door bundled up to ward of the chill yet failing to don a scarf to keep his cheeks warm. He smiled warmly and she gestured for him to enter. She closed the door and then leaned on it. It had been a month since she had been this close to him.

"May I have the honor of escorting you and Miss Jenny to services today."

"Yes, you may," Miss Jenny replied warmly not giving Victoria a chance to accept or reject the offer.

Joseph waited in the parlor while the ladies gathered their outerwear. He had spoken with Henry the night before. Henry would not give any details about how Victoria had been looking or feeling only that he felt it was time for him to start courting her or he would. Joseph did not want to give Henry the opportunity; after all he still loved her.

Joseph took Victoria's hand and placed it in the crook of his arm and led her out the house and down to the waiting carriage. Once she was settled in with a heavy woolen blanket draped over her lap, he assisted Miss Jenny as well.

They traveled in silence the thirty-minute ride there. Joseph helped Miss Jenny out first and then Victoria. Again he took her hand while Miss Jenny preceded them into church. After hanging up their coats, Miss Jenny made her way to the second pew from the front on the left and sat in their usual place. Joseph did not release Victoria until he reached the pew. He motioned for her to enter before him and then he sat down. Pulling out his small bible from his suit pocket, he waited in silence for the service to begin.

### / / /

"In closing, I would like you to reflect today on verse 7 in Psalms 36. 'How excellent is thy lovingkindess, O God! therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of thy wings.' It is our savior that loves, guides, and protects us. Keep that close to your heart this week as you go about your daily activities. The mass has ended. Go in peace."

Joseph was stopped several times before they made it out the door. It had been several months since he had attended at this church and many parishioners wanted to express their delight in seeing him. He kept Victoria close at hand not letting her leave his side. Once out of the church, he helped both ladies back into the carriage and they headed back to Mr. Rockford's house.

Miss Jenny made her way to the kitchen as soon as they returned to finish the preparations for the midday meal. Joseph stoked the fire in the parlor while Victoria relaxed on the sofa. After the fire was blazing bringing much needed warmth to the room, Joseph left without a word. Twenty minutes went by before Victoria noticed he was no longer there. She slowly stood and went to the kitchen to visit with Miss Jenny.

"Why do you think Joseph took us to church today?"

"Why do you think?"

"I thought because he wanted to spend time with me, but then why did he leave without a word."

"You will have to ask him that." Miss Jenny smiled.

"I guess I will. Are you up for a walk after we eat?"

"Not today. I am taking off the next few days to visit with my sister in Florida. I need to prepare a few meals for you for when I am gone and finish with my chores."

"Miss Jenny I am more than capable of fixing my own food and doing chores. We will spend the rest of the day relaxing."

"And where did you want to do that relaxing?"

Victoria blushed slightly. "At the home with Joseph."

"I have sandwiches for us to eat. We should hitch up the carriage and bring him lunch."

"Wonderful idea. May I take credit for it?"

"Certainly."

An hour later Victoria and Miss Jenny were pulling up to the main home. Henry greeted them when they arrived.

"What do I owe this pleasure?"

"We are here to thank Joseph for escorting us to services this morning."

"I wondered where he went off to this morning. Unfortunately, I have not seen him since he returned."

Victoria's smile turned to a frown. She had hoped to spend the whole day with Joseph, knowing he typically did not do as much work at the home on the Lord's Day.

"I would be honored to spend the day with you."

"No thank you, Henry."

Victoria turned and hoisted herself back into the carriage.

"Miss Victoria, do you mind if I stay. Henry can bring me back."

"I do not mind Miss Jenny. I will see you this evening."

Victoria passed the basket of food down to Miss Jenny before guiding the horse back down the lane. She would need to spend time in prayer today and pray that she could completely put her trust in the Lord.

### / / /

The week dragged by for Victoria since she had rescheduled all of her meetings. After her argument with Henry, she no longer felt comfortable being alone with potential investors. She was certain that her previous behavior had become known to others and she certainly did not want to encourage unwanted advances. The cooking and cleaning kept her busy during the day, but the nights were dreary. Clinging to Mr. Rockford's bible each night, she hoped to feel his comforting embrace. Without a doubt, she knew she did not want to remain single. She wanted a husband. A family she was still uncertain about since she did not want to risk throwing it all away again. Joseph would have to agree to not having children if they were to proceed with a relationship.

Miss Jenny arrived back home refreshed and cheerful the following Saturday. Victoria was so delighted for the company they stayed up till two in the morning talking. They were both in bed on Sunday morning when they heard a knock at the door. Victoria wrapped herself up and made her way to the door. She was thoroughly embarrassed when she opened the door with Joseph smiling at her since she had not taken the time to wash her face or comb her hair. Quickly turning she rushed back to her room without even formally inviting Joseph in.

Joseph considered himself invited in, since she had not closed the door in his face. He secured the door and then made his way to the kitchen. After adding wood to the stove and bringing the coals back to life, he put a pot on for coffee and then began to look through the kitchen for something to prepare for the ladies to eat. Wanting some extra time with them to visit, he had arrived early to bring them to church. Knowing that Victoria had come out to the home to see him last week confirmed that she desired to spend time with him. He only hoped that his early arrival did not extinguish her desire to be with him.

"Miss Jenny, please have a seat. I have already prepared breakfast for you. I did not realize I would wake the two of you this morning."

"We stayed up late last night talking. I just returned yesterday."

"I had forgotten about your trip. Did you have a good time?"

"I had a wonderful time. My sister is expecting her fourth child, late spring. She already has three boys. They are hoping for a girl this time."

Joseph did not respond, but started to daydream about one day him having three boys and another child on the way.

"Are you OK, Mr. Joseph?"

"Yes, Miss Jenny. Just thinking."

"I will go get Miss Victoria and see if she is almost ready to go. I know she does not want to be late for services."

Victoria was ready and sitting on her bed when Miss Jenny entered her room after knocking.

"Miss Victoria, Mr. Joseph is ready to bring us to church. You should try to eat something before we go."

"How can I face him? I had not even combed my hair. I must have looked a horrible."

"Does it really matter?"

Victoria looked at Miss Jenny with complete shock.

"Of course it matters."

"When you marry him, he will see you with your hair uncombed every morning. I am certain you were properly covered when you answered the door."

"Who says I am going to marry him?"

"The good Lord does. At least I believe he does. I know you love him."

Victoria stood and walked to the window. She did love him, but would he marry her and consent to not having children. Miss Jenny left the room without a word and reentered the kitchen.

"Mr. Joseph, I think it is best that you retrieve Miss Victoria. She is still a bit embarrassed about answering the door this morning."

Joseph smiled. Walking to her room in silence, he thought how lovely she looked with her braids draping down across her bosom and a few small curls resting on her flush cheeks.

"Victoria you should eat something before we go. I plan to stay the day today. I hope that is alright with you."

"Not today Joseph. Maybe another time."

"Very well. We leave in five minutes for services. There is no reason since I am already here that I should not escort you and Miss Jenny to church. Afterwards, if you still wish not to spend the day with me, I will return home."

Victoria nodded once to accept his offer.

### / / /

Victoria kept to her word that day and sent Joseph on his way. She wanted him to feel the disappointment she felt the week before when he had not made himself available when she wanted to visit.

For the next month, Joseph arrived every Sunday to bring the ladies to church. Each week he stayed a bit longer visiting with them. He knew that he was going to have to do more than just visit on Sunday's. They were starting to get close again and he wanted her to need him as much as he needed her. There was hardly the time during the week. He began praying for opportunities to spend time with her and even consulted with Miss Jenny on options.

### / / /

Mr. Rockford sent word early March through the post that he should be home by Easter and was eager to see everyone. Victoria's spirits had greatly lifted with the news and planned to renew her efforts on the financing for the home. Joseph decided to use this drive to his advantage and insisted the meetings take place at the home. The investors needed to see first-hand what their money was going for and how they were helping so many people. Victoria agreed after some encouragement by Henry. It was now late March and Joseph was able to spend every evening with Victoria and Miss Jenny. They took their meals at the home with Joseph and Henry before Joseph escorted them back to Mr. Rockford's. At times, Miss Jenny stayed a bit longer and had Henry personally escort her home, providing Joseph and Victoria with time alone.

Joseph enjoyed their time together, but was frustrated that Victoria refused to talk about having a family. It was a difficult subject, but they had to come to some agreement before he could even consider proposing marriage. He wanted a family and he knew that Victoria was a flight risk since she he had left her first husband shortly after conceiving. He certainly did not want that to happen to him. His love for her was growing stronger. As time went on, his love was changing. While he still desired her, he no longer felt it was the foundation of his feelings. Hearing her talk and seeking her smile was something he looked forward to every day. He even enjoyed their slightly heated debates about how to apply the funding for the home. She tended to want to spend more on decor and he was more practical wanting to save funds to build more simple plain homes and furnishings. Next week was Easter Sunday and Mr. Rockford would be returning. Joseph would seek his advice once he returned.

# Chapter 18

April 12, 1903 Easter Sunday

The second pew on the left from the front was packed. Uncle Rock had returned the evening before and everyone wanted to sit next to him for services. Victoria sat on his left and Joseph on his right. Miss Jenny and Henry were also in attendance along with the other regulars who sat on the row. They had arrived to church early in Uncle Rock's new motorcar. He had decided to buy one on his return home from caring for his sister's two children. Their father had finally returned and unfortunately he never got along with him despite his best efforts.

After services, the group headed to the home to celebrate. The air was still cool at sixty-five degrees as they walked along the lane from Uncle Rock's house to the feeble-minded home. Victoria had suggested they walk instead of taking the motorcar, so they would have more time to talk and take in the surroundings. Wildflowers lined the lane in a subtle display of lavender and yellow. When they arrived at the home, Uncle Rock was speechless. Phase III was complete and Phase IV, the apartment style, was underway. Ada greeted them at the door of the main home with a lovely smile. Victoria noticed as they walked through the door that Ada, whom she had not seen the last few months, looked a little fuller around the waist and she looked back at Joseph with questioning eyes.

Joseph was focused on Uncle Rock and never noticed the look Victoria had given him. He continued to smile as he made his way inside.

"Uncle Rock, it is so great to see you." Ada was beaming with joy.

"You too, Miss Ada."

Uncle Rock gave Ada a brief but warm fatherly hug. Ada was also greeted with hugs from Henry and Miss Jenny. Once all the guests were inside, she quietly closed the door.

"Everything is ready. Please sit."

The group quickly sat around the table, which was made extra-long by pushing two tables together. The table was laden with two platters of sliced baked turkey and bowls of stewed green beans, mashed potatoes and buttered rolls. A gentlemen Victoria had not seen before sat next to Ada. She had not even noticed him when she had entered the home. Uncle Rock sat at the head of the table.

"If we can all join hands, I will say the blessing."

Everyone rushed to comply and bowed their heads.

"Heavenly Father, thank you for my safe return and for the wonderful young people that you have brought into my life. We thank you for this food and for the opportunity he has given us to help others. Amen."

Uncle Rock gave himself a healthy portion of turkey, and then passed the platter on. He watched for a few minutes as everyone around the table began to fill their plates with food. Once the noise settled down some, Uncle Rock turned to Ada, who was sitting next to him.

"Ada, I do not believe I have met you knew friend."

"Robert."

"Hello Robert, what do you do for us at the home?"

"Gardening."

"Uncle Rock, Robert moved into the home mid-January and has been helping with the crops. Ada requested he join us today."

"Thank you Henry, how have the crops been doing?"

"We will save that conversation for after the meal. I would love to show you the fields."

"I would like that Henry. Thank you."

"You have all done a wonderful job. The progress is amazing."

"Thank you Uncle Rock," replied Victoria as she blushed slightly.

The rest of the meal was spent in light chatter, as everyone wanted to update Mr. Rockford with all that happened the months that he had been away. After the meal, Mr. Rockford and Henry went to the fields to see the progress on the crops while the rest cleaned up. Victoria kept glancing at Ada. Her jealousy was kicking in and she felt she had to have a talk with Henry. She made her way out of the house without a word and headed to the fields. It took only a moment for Joseph to realize that she was gone. He hurried out the door to catch up with her.

"What is your hurry?"

"I need to talk to Henry about Ada." Victoria was on a mission and did not slow any. Joseph grabbed her arm to stop her progress.

"What about Ada?"

Victoria forcefully removed his hand.

"She looks pregnant. You said nothing happened."

Joseph stood there speechless and let her walk away. She did not trust that he was an honorable man. Ada had not noticed him since Robert had arrived. He was always bringing her chocolates every evening following the evening meal. She likely had only gained a little weight. Her cheeks were a little fuller. Joseph walked back to the home with a heavy heart. He needed time alone to pray. When he returned, Miss Jenny was visiting with Ada and Robert while they drank coffee. He did not stop to visit and went straight to his room and locked the door. His heart was breaking.

Victoria finally arrived in the field where Henry and Mr. Rockford were talking.

"Henry, may I have a word with you?" Victoria did nothing to mask her anger and lack of patience.

"Victoria, I appreciate you walking out here, but now is not a good time. We will be back at the home in a little while."

Victoria glared at Henry briefly trying to decide what to do next. Her temper won out.

"He lied. He got her pregnant over the holidays. Why did you not tell me?"

"Go back to the home. Until you can talk calmly, we have nothing to talk about."

"I am not a child. You cannot just order me around."

"Nor can you order me to talk with you."

"Victoria," stated Uncle Rock in a calm firm voice.

Victoria stomped her foot, turned, and ran the whole way back home.

"Henry, do you have any idea who she was talking about?"

"Ada. It is not true. Joseph informed me of everything that happened over the holidays. He was prepared to marry her if necessary. Nothing happened other that she exposed herself to him and a kiss prior to that. She has been living with Mrs. Brocks ever since. I am certain he told me everything. Besides, she would not be showing this early."

"I see Victoria is still having difficulty controlling her emotions."

"She has made great progress. Today is just not a good day for her."

Uncle Rock and Henry went back to talking about the fields as they made their way back to the home at a leisurely pace.

### / / /

That evening Victoria, Miss Jenny, and Mr. Rockford were sitting in the parlor each engrossed in a book. The silence was peaceful, but Victoria felt no peace. She was making little progress with her book. She kept reflecting back to the day's events. She had spent the rest of the day walking and thinking. Every time she thought she could be mistaken, she remembered that Joseph and Ada had shared a kiss. It was likely they took it further. That was the only explanation she would accept. Otherwise, she had just destroyed any chance she had in a relationship with Joseph. He had looked devastated. Victoria rationalized with herself that it was a look of guilt. They could never be together now. He would have to do the honorable thing and marry Ada.

When the hour grew late, Miss Jenny excused herself and went to bed. Victoria was about to leave as well when Mr. Rockford spoke.

"You owe Joseph an apology."

Victoria sat there seething. She took several deep breaths, trying to control her anger. She had no quarrel with Uncle Rock.

"Do you disagree?"

Victoria sat there with eyes diverted and finally shook her head to reply yes.

"You are mistaken, Victoria."

Victoria looked up and glared at Uncle Rock between scrunched eyes.

"You can wipe that look off your face. I have just returned and there will be no hostility. It is time you grew up and start taking responsibility for your emotions."

Victoria stood and was about to leave the room.

"Sit down!" Boomed Uncle Rock.

Victoria sat and the anger she had felt quickly changed to sadness. She had longed for his presence for months and now she was being a spoiled brat.

"Please forgive me, Uncle Rock."

"You are forgiven. Now. You need to take all emotions out of the situation and think logically. Would Ada be showing this early if Joseph had relations with her late December?"

Victoria pondered the question for a few minutes before replying. "No."

"Did you notice how she seemed to glow with delight with the attention Robert was giving her?"

"Yes."

"Then why are you trying to destroy your relationship with Joseph?"

Reality began to sink in. She had done just that. Unknowingly she had been looking for a reason not to marry. While she wanted to marry Joseph, she felt Joseph would never agree to a marriage without children. He was better off with someone else. She could not have another child that she could not bond with. It would break her heart beyond repair.

"I cannot risk having a child. I cannot be with anyone."

"Who is in control?"

"I am not going there. I know who is in control and I do not care. I just cannot. I will not risk having another child."

"So you believe God's plan is for you to have another child."

Victoria closed her eyes. Was he trying to trick her? She did not want to trust God with this and wanted, needed to be in control. Her mind could not take it.

"I do not care what his plan is for me. I do not want any more children."

"We will talk about this more during the week. For now it is best we both get some much needed rest."

Victoria left without a word and went straight to her room. Without changing to her nightdress, she flung herself onto her bed and pulled the quilt that was draped over the end of the bed over her. Tears pooled in her eyes briefly before she blocked her emotions. She just could not give in.

The week went by and there was no opportunity for Uncle Rock and Victoria to talk. Victoria was relieved. It provided her with time to harden her heart. She began thinking through all of her options including leaving because she would not be bullied into having children. Joseph was at the house daily reviewing with Uncle Rock the plans for the home for the next six months and she made a point to avoid him as much as possible. He only needed to stay a little longer to fulfill his initial obligation and she wondered if he would leave at that point.

### / / /

Sunday morning brought dreary skies. As they made their way to church they could see smoke lingering in the distance. None spoke, but all assumed that someone's home or business had burned down in the night. All was quiet in the church as they waited for services to begin. Pastor Mary solemnly made his way to the front foregoing the traditional entrance hymn.

"Thank you all for coming out this morning. As you all noticed as you made your way in that there was a fire last night. It was the orphanage."

Gasps were heard and then frantic whispers.

"We have been asked along with the other churches if each family would take on the care of one child until they are able to rebuild. It was a miracle that no one was hurt. I am sorry that there is no time for you to think about this. The children need a place to stay tonight. If I can see a show of hands from each household that feels they can help it would be greatly appreciated."

Mr. Rockford was the first to raise his hand and Victoria gasped in disbelief. How dare he. Slowly each family raised their hand.

"I am thankful you are all so willing. After services if one adult member of each family group can stay, we will report to the Mayor's office and assign a child for you to take home. Then this evening you will be expected to return to the church to collect the child."

That evening Mr. Rockford returned home with an infant male. The child had been left at the orphanage by his teenage mother shortly after giving birth only four months ago. She indicated that she could not care for herself much less a child. Miss Jenny took the child as soon as Uncle Rock entered into the parlor and cradled him in her arms. Victoria glared at Uncle Rock for accepting an infant and stormed out of the room. She would not care for this child. He could not make her.

Miss Jenny and Uncle Rock agreed it would be best to have the child sleep in Miss Jenny's room. She made a makeshift crib on the floor using a large laundry basket and small quilt. The child was mild tempered and barely made a sound. It took only a few minutes for Miss Jenny to rock the child to sleep. After placing the child in the new crib, she crawled into bed but sleep did not come swiftly as she listened intently to the soft breath of the child.

Two weeks had gone by and they had yet to decide on a name for the boy. While they understood why the orphanage wanted to wait to have the new parents name the child, it felt odd calling him baby all the time. Uncle Rock and Miss Jenny pondered many names, but could not agree. They even tried several times to get Victoria's input, but she avoided all of them as much as possible even eating her meals in her room. She spent the rest of her time at the home, but as far away as possible from Joseph.

Victoria woke before dawn to the sounds of a raging thunderstorm. She grimaced at the thought of being stuck at home all day, but new she would have to make the best of it. Donning her robe she made her way to the kitchen to make coffee. As quietly as she could she put on a pot of water and then sliced herself some bread for toast. Halfway through eating, she heard soft cries coming from Miss Jenny's room. Ignoring the crying child, she continued to eat certain that Miss Jenny would wake shortly and tend to him. Victoria tried for several minutes to ignore the crying, but concern for Miss Jenny propelled her to her feet. Victoria tapped lightly and let herself in. Miss Jenny was sleeping restlessly with sweat dripping down her face and the child thrashing about in his makeshift crib. Uncle Rock entered the room moments later and silently assessed the situation.

"Victoria, I need you to take the child and tend to its needs. I will check on Miss Jenny."

Victoria hesitated.

"Victoria, please. I need you to do this for me."

She nodded silently, walked over to the child, bent down, and gently picked him up. His cries lessened with the act and Victoria's confidence boosted enough to allow her to care for him. After bringing the child to the bathroom to clean him up, finding his diaper soaked through and skin slightly red, she left him uncovered for several minutes before securing a new diaper and shirt. He giggled softly when she picked him back up bringing a smile to her face. After feeding him some milk from a bottle, she placed him on the floor on top of a blanket and began to fix breakfast.

"Victoria, thank you for caring for the baby. The doctor will be here later in the day to check on Miss Jenny. I believe she has a case of influenza. It is best that only one of us care for her. She drank some water before falling back to sleep. I need you to take care of the child. It will be a several days before Miss Jenny is back on her feet."

"Can the doctor check on the child while he is here?" The last thing Victoria wanted was for the child to be sick as well.

"Certainly."

Victoria finished cooking breakfast and then served herself and Uncle Rock. They ate in near silence. The only sound was the child cooing.

The doctor arrived that evening and gave the child a clean bill of health. Unfortunately, Miss Jenny did have influenza and it would take several days for her to recover. Uncle Rock informed Victoria that she would have to continue to care for the child and he would care for Miss Jenny. While Victoria was not thrilled with the idea, she cared too much for Uncle Rock and Miss Jenny to object. After gathering the make shift crib from Miss Jenny's room while the child slept on a blanket in the parlor, she brought the crib outside and soaped down the basket, washed the quilt and hung it out to dry. Uncle Rock kept watch while drinking his evening coffee and reading his bible. Victoria was thankful that Uncle Rock was always near so she never had to be completely alone with the child. The day went by quickly and before dark, she gathered the basket and blanket and set up the crib in her room.

Later that evening Victoria reluctantly bid Uncle Rock good night and gathered the child into her arms. The child was content as she paced about in the confines of her bedroom until she felt tired and her arms weak. After gently placing the child in his crib, she climbed into bed fully dressed. She knew that she had situated the crib where she could see the child when she looked over the left side, but she was not ready to look down yet. Lying on her back, she stared wide-eyed at the ceiling for several heartbeats. Knowing she needed to check on the child, she turned and looked down. The child smiled at her and stared into her eyes. They were such lovely dark gray eyes, a striking contrast to the soft yellow hued skin. His long lashes fluttered a few times as they continued to stare at each other before sleep claimed him. Victoria looked on for a while at the sleeping child before rolling over to get more comfortable. In a whisper she prayed. "Lord, I know I have been fighting you with this. How can you bring this child into my life when I am so vulnerable? I am not ready to raise a child even if it is only for a few months. I know I have to care for him until Miss Jenny is better. I ask for your guiding hand. I ask that I do not lose my heart to this child. I am not ready and I do not want this. Healing prayers for Miss Jenny and thanksgiving for Uncle Rock. Amen."

### / / /

Victoria sat on the floor in the parlor playing with baby Hugh. After the first week of caring for him, she decided he needed a name. By the time Miss Jenny was strong enough to care for the infant; Victoria had bonded with the child. She cried herself to sleep the night she first realized that she did not know what she would do when they took the child back. No longer could she imagine a life without children. Although she was still scared that her hormones might cause issues again if she were to have her own child, she knew she would have to give those fears to the Lord if she were to ever have a life with Joseph. Hugh giggled as she played pick-a-boo with him. His laughter brightened her day and she thanked God for not answering her prayers. She certainly had lost her heart to the baby.

"How is Hugh this morning?"

Hugh giggled in reply to Uncle Rock.

"I never imagined it could be like this Uncle Rock. Thank you for insisting we care for him. The sermon last Sunday talked about seeking Jesus's forgiveness. Why do we seek out his forgiveness? I understand seeking out forgiveness from the people we have hurt. I need to ask Joseph to forgive me. I am just not sure of the importance of seeking Jesus's forgiveness."

"He died for our sins. Every time we sin, we are saying his sacrifice did not mean anything."

"I never thought about it that way. Thank you Uncle Rock. Can we go visit Joseph soon?"

"In a few days. I want to give Miss Jenny a little more time to re-energize. I am sure she would like to visit as well."

# Chapter 19

Victoria arrived at the home later in the week carrying Hugh. Miss Jenny and Uncle Rock thought it was best that she talk with Joseph on her own. She prayed for days asking for guidance and his timing. That morning, she woke to the sounds of birds singing and Hugh giggling. She felt in her heart that today was the day.

"Miss Victoria please come in. Who is the little one?"

"Thank you Miss Ada. This is Hugh. Is Joseph nearby?"

"Yes, ma'am. He is inside having a cup of coffee with Mr. Henry."

Ada led the way inside. Victoria hesitated only briefly before following her in. Joseph and Henry both stood when the ladies entered, but did not say a word. Ada pulled a cup down from the cabinet and placed it next to Joseph. Victoria took this as her queue to sit down. Hugh started to fuss a little and Miss Ada offered to take the child. Ada motioned for Henry to join her outside.

"Joseph I want to talk without interruption, and then you can ask whatever questions you want. Ok."

Joseph was puzzled, but nodded his agreement.

"Last time I was her, I accused you of being with Ada and lying about it. Mr. Rockford showed me the error of my ways."

Joseph's eyebrows rose a bit, but he remained quiet.

"I was trying to sabotage our relationship. I was making it impossible for you to continue to have feelings for me. I was trying to make it where I had an excuse not to marry."

Victoria stood and began to pace. Joseph true to his word remained silent.

"I know it has been weeks. It has taken a while for me to seek forgiveness. I was still asking him why he allowed me to leave my child and husband. I was questioning how he could have done such a thing. I did not want to accept his plan for my life. I have finally accepted. I realized I had been mad at God. I have asked for his forgiveness. Hugh has brought me new hope. I have bonded with the child. I did not think that was possible. I know that does not mean that I will with my own. It does mean that I have accepted that it is to be God's will whether or not I bond with any future children. I would like us to try again. Joseph will you forgive me?"

Joseph remained seated with his eyes closed and his head down. He was praying. He was still praying an hour later when he heard Henry, Ada and Hugh return. Victoria had remained silent and waited not wanting to pressure him. Knowing it took her weeks to seek forgiveness, she knew she had no right to expect forgiveness immediately. Hugh started to fuss. Before Victoria had the opportunity to take the child, Joseph was on his feet and retrieving the child from Henry. He cradled the young boy in his arms and began gently stroking his cheek as he swayed back and forth. Victoria, believing the child was hungry took a bottle from her bag and went to the kitchen to warm some milk. Once warmed, she brought the bottle with her assuming Joseph would hand over the child. Instead, he took the bottle and began feeding him. Hugh began to eat in earnest while Victoria watched on.

Leaning in close, Victoria spoke softly so that Joseph could only hear. "I still love you Joseph. I just imagined that you were holding our child. Take all the time you need."

She walked away and sat back down at the table. Joseph continued to stand by the window feeding the young boy. Henry and Ada remained silent.

Joseph reluctantly gave Hugh back to Victoria two hours later when it was time for her to leave. The time was spent in prayer and playing with the young boy. His heart felt like it would burst with joy knowing Victoria was finally ready to have a family. He had waited so long for this day, yet he did not know how to proceed.

Victoria gave Joseph a sweet smile as she cradled Hugh in her arms. She walked out the door looking back with longing in her eyes. Joseph walked out behind her not saying a word. Henry offered to walk her home and carry her bag. Joseph continued to watch in silence until they were out of sight.

"Marry her."

"I am sorry, Ada. What did you say?"

"Marry her. Everyone can see you want a family with her."

"That I do."

"Then what are you waiting for?"

"I do not know."

### / / /

"Henry, do you think he will forgive me?"

"He already has."

Victoria thought about Henry's statement for several minutes before replying.

"What do I do now?"

"You wait."

Victoria sighed and Henry chuckled.

"What is so funny?"

"Joseph has waited more than a year for you to be ready to have a family again and you are impatient waiting for him to come to turns with it."

"You are so right Henry. I do hope there are no hard feelings between us."

"Not in the least. One day the Lord will show me who my wife is to be. I should not rush it. I thought it was you at one time, but I just allowed my urges and loneliness to take control."

"I thought maybe it was you briefly as well. You did not seem to judge me as Joseph did."

"Joseph did not judge you. He was being faithful to your vows. Until you were divorced, he had no right to seek you out as a wife. My heart was not as committed as Joseph's so I did not need to distance myself as much from you as Joseph did. He needed the time away to maintain control."

"You are such a wonderful friend, Henry. I do hope you will agree to be our children's godfather when that time comes."

"You are getting a little ahead of yourself. Joseph has not even proposed yet."

"One can hope."

Henry smiled at her.

"Yes, one can hope and pray."

### / / /

"Joseph, this is an unexpected surprise. Is everything OK?"

"Everything is just fine Uncle Rock."

"Come on in and have a seat in the parlor."

Joseph made his way into the parlor, but paced the room. Uncle Rock went to the kitchen to warm some coffee and fill a plate with cookies. It had been two weeks since Victoria returned home with Hugh escorted by Henry. She had informed him how through the grace of God, she gave her fears to him about having a child. The change over the past weeks had been amazing. He thought accepting the child into his home from the orphanage would help her face her fears. He never realized how quickly the transformation would take place. Uncle Rock entered the parlor and was nearly knocked down by Joseph's pacing.

"Sorry, Uncle Rock."

"Have a seat."

Joseph sat in his usual chair, the wing back on the right side of the room. After placing the coffee tray on the table, Uncle Rock sat in his chair.

"Victoria told me about her conversation with you when she visited. Do you plan to ask her to marry you?"

"That is why I am here."

"Son, Victoria is at the home."

"I know."

Joseph was full of nervous energy. His left thigh began to tremble. Uncle Rock softly chuckled and waited for Joseph to continue.

"I have come to ask your permission to marry Victoria since her own father has passed away."

"Joseph of course you have my permission. I have never seen you so nervous."

"I have never felt so nervous. It took me two weeks just to get the courage to come here to ask."

"Why do you think you are nervous?"

"I have waited over a year. I still feel like I am dreaming. I have not even written my father yet."

"Set a date first, than write to him."

"When do you think we should get married?"

"Consult with Pastor Mary to see how soon you can. There is no reason to wait. Where do you plan to live?"

"Live."

Uncle Rock chucked again.

"You can discuss that with Victoria. First, you need to ask."

"Thanks Uncle Rock."

Joseph was on his feet and rushing out the door. He was a man in love and did not want to wait one more day to ask for her hand. Joseph ran back to the home and was panting by the time he reached the main house. After rushing inside, he discovered that no one was there. Falling down to his knees and placing his hands on the floor, he took several deep breaths to slow down his pounding heart. Where could they be? She has Hugh with her. Maybe they are in the fields. Springing up from the floor, his surroundings blurred and he collapsed in a heap on the floor. Moments later he slowly opened his eyes. Without moving, he assessed he was only a bit sore from the fall but no lasting injury. Rolling onto his back, he realized his foolishness and began to pray for guidance and strength to wait on his timing.

"Joseph, are you OK." Victoria rushed to his side after handing off Hugh to Henry.

Joseph smiled.

"I am better now that you are here. Marry me Victoria?"

"What?"

"Are you feeling alright? Did you hit your head?"

"I love you Victoria. Be my wife."

Victoria stood. She had dreamed of a romantic proposal. Not this. He had not spoken with her in two weeks. They still had much to discuss. Yes, she had accepted that she did want a family of her own. She figured they would talk and court more before this. Henry with sadness in his eyes walked up to Victoria as Joseph continued to sit on the floor.

"Victoria, I will bring Hugh back to the house. Joseph will bring you home later." Henry did not wait for a reply. He picked up the child's bag and walked out the door. Victoria watched out the window until they were out of sight.

Joseph stood and walked to the kitchen. He put on water for coffee and sliced some bread and cheese for sandwiches. Once everything was ready, he carried it on a tray to a table by the window. He sat in silence while he ate his snack and kept his eyes on Victoria, who continued to stare out the window. How long should he wait for her to reply. He finished his coffee, stood and walked up behind her. She turned to face him and was about to speak when Joseph claimed her lips. The kiss was soft and gentle at first, lingering as he brushed his lips lightly on hers. Then he deepened the kiss. His longing for her was taking control and she was responding in kind. He broke the kiss reluctantly and took both of her hands into his own. He looked lovingly into her eyes.

"Victoria, I have loved you for a long time. I know we have not talked through everything. I know you love me too. I want us to marry as soon as possible. I do not want to wait to have you as my wife. I want you. I will accept whatever children we have even if it means we do not have any. Just you telling me you are willing is all I need. You have accepted God's will. I have accepted that as well. Marry me, Victoria."

Victoria responded with a passionate kiss wrapping her arms around him and pressing her body firmly into his. She broke the kiss briefly to whisper, "Yes, I will marry you." A soft knock on the door startled them. They jumped apart and Victoria quickly blushed as she noticed who had arrived, Pastor Mary.

"Pastor Mary, What do we owe this pleasure?" asked Joseph slightly out of breath.

"I was in search of Victoria. Mr. Rockford indicated you were here."

"Pastor Mary please have a seat. Would you like any coffee?"

"I would love some. Thank you."

Victoria made more coffee and sliced bread and cheese to add to what Joseph had already prepared. Pastor Mary remained silent as she prepared everything. Once all were seated at the table, he began.

"I have received word from the orphanage that the mother of Hugh would like to be reunited with her child."

Victoria gasped.

"Is she allowed to take her child back after all this time?" She was on the verge of tears but held them at bay.

"She can since the child has not been adopted yet. I have advised against the immediate removal from your care, but I am not able to prevent it. I recommend you meet with her with Hugh over the next few weeks to allow for an easier transition."

"Why does every time something good is about to happen everything falls apart," spat Victoria.

Joseph wrapped an arm around her.

"God is in control Victoria. It is best to follow Pastor Mary's recommendation. Otherwise, Hugh could be out of our lives forever. This way, we may still be able to visit with him."

"Joseph is correct. Isabel is not feeble-minded but is under age. I thought you could persuade her to move in and work in the home. This will provide her with family support and you will also be able to be near Hugh."

"What about the wedding. This messes everything up."

"What wedding?"

"I have asked Victoria to marry me and she has accepted."

"Congratulations. How soon were you planning to marry?"

"How soon can we?"

"I prefer a newly engaged couple to wait at least a month or two. Considering the added stress with Hugh being returned to his mother you may want to consider a little more time."

"We will let you know," replied Victoria as she stood and walked out the building. She kept walking until she made it back to Uncle Rocks.

Joseph and Pastor Mary watched her until she was out of sight.

"I know this is a difficult time for Victoria. Mr. Rockford informed me how she finally accepted the child after weeks of not wanting anything to do with him. I will be praying for you both."

"Thank you, Pastor Mary. I appreciate it."

# Chapter 20

"Thank you all for coming tonight. I have been meeting separately with each of you over the past few days to discuss the transition of Hugh back to his mother. Isabel has shared her story with me and she would like to share with you tonight. Please have a seat."

Quietly taking a seat across from Isabel, Victoria looked through red puffy eyes at the fragile trembling young woman. Uncle Rock and Joseph sat down next to Victoria and Pastor Mary took a seat next to Isabel. Isabel kept her eyes lowered as everyone waited for her to begin. Without thinking, Victoria stood and began to pace about the room as the others watched in silence.

"I am sorry," whispered Isabel.

Victoria continued to pace.

"I am sorry," Isabel stated again louder.

Victoria continued to pace.

"I am sorry," yelled Isabel.

Victoria suddenly stopped pacing and fell to her knees and began to cry in earnest. The other's waited at the table looking at each other, but not saying a word. After several minutes, Isabel went to Victoria and wrapped her in a hug. Isabel did not let go until Victoria signaled that she was ready to stand. Both ladies returned to the table.

"Isabel. I cannot accept your apology." Victoria wiped her eyes with her handkerchief and looked at Pastor Mary with pleading eyes.

Pastor Mary stood and motioned for the men to leave the room. Quietly they left not asking any questions. Silence hung over the room as Victoria tried to gain her composure.

"Isabel, I cannot forgive you because there is nothing you have done to me for me to forgive. I do not need to know your story. You have shown your love for your child."

"Then why all the tears?"

"I was crying for myself. I want to share my story with you."

Placing her hands on Victoria's shoulders, Isabel silently prayed while Victoria over the next hour poured out her heart sharing all the emotions and fears she had then and now. The past days of fear and anguish started to diminish as each minute passed. Isabel's unwavering kindness and the obvious bond with her child made it possible for them to quickly agree that it would be best for Isabel to move in and share a room with her and Hugh and let Hugh provide the guidance on when it was best for Isabel to take over complete care.

The men spent their time silently praying and after an hour decided to check on the ladies. They returned to find the ladies joyfully talking while drinking coffee. Isabel no longer nervous about sharing explained what they had agreed upon.

"Pastor Mary, how are we to proceed with the wedding?"

"I would like to meet with you and Victoria weekly for the first month and then possibly monthly thereafter."

"Months."

"Joseph we must do what is best for Hugh. You have waited this long to marry Victoria. It is all in God's perfect timing."

"Joseph, I need time to prepare my gown anyway."

"Just do not take too long."

"Do not worry." Victoria grinned. She too did not want to wait. She was ready to start her own family with Joseph and did not want to spend months letting go of Hugh.

### / / /

"You look lovely Victoria," stated Isabel as she finished the final touches of Victoria's hair and placed the veil on her head.

"Thank you."

"I am glad I did not delay your wedding."

"Me too, Isabel. I am thankful Hugh took to you so quickly. I had feared watching you with him for months to come."

"I am thankful too. I thank the Lord every day for giving me the courage to return for him and that Hugh wants to be a part of my life."

"I just hope the Lord wants me to have another child and that this time I am to raise him."

"I hope so too. You have more support this time. God willing, things will be different. I do hope our children will be able to grow up together."

"I pray that as well."

A soft knock sounded at the door and Miss Jenny let herself in.

"Uncle Rock is ready to bring you to the church."

Victoria stood after looking at herself in the mirror one last time. Her face radiated the peace and joy that she felt.

At the church, Henry took care of ensuring all the guests were seated while Joseph anxiously paced in Pastor Mary's office. His parents and the Johnsons had arrived that morning to witness the blessed event and his siblings sent their love.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes, Uncle Rock. I am ready. How did you know the day we meet that I would be marrying Joseph?"

"Just a feeling. I did have my doubts along the way. I am thankful the Lord put you in my life Victoria. I never married and had children of my own. I see you as a daughter and Joseph as a son. You have made this old man very happy."

"And you have given me peace, direction and love that I thought I would never have again. I do miss my father, but if he had lived then I would never have met you."

"I love you Victoria."

"I love you too Uncle Rock."

Uncle Rock checked his watch. It was time. He got out of the car, went to Victoria's side and assisted her out. Isabel was waiting on the steps for them by the time they reached the door. Uncle Rock opened the door and Isabel, who was delighted to be the maid of honor, walked back in. Miss Jenny was waiting at the back with Hugh. Isabel picked up the basket of rose petals and cradled Hugh on her hip. The two slowly walked up the aisle as Hugh clumsily tossed the petals. When the wedding march began to play, Miss Jenny opened the door. Victoria took Uncle Rock's arm and they walked in. It took only a moment for her eyes to adjust to the lower light and when they did, her eyes fell on Joseph. He was grinning from ear to ear. She was so taken by his joy she had forgotten to move. Uncle Rock tugged gently and she began her walk up the aisle with him.

An hour later, Pastor Mary pronounced them husband and wife.

### / / /

"Stephen, stand still please."

"Yes, Mama."

"Why dress up?"

"Aunt Isabel is getting married today."

"Why?"

"You have to wear it because you have to toss out the rose petals as we walk down the aisle. Her son did it at my wedding."

"Hugh do it."

Victoria knelt down and looked at her four-year-old son, eye to eye.

"Isabel asked you to do it. Do you want to make her unhappy?"

"No." Stephen continued to squirm as she finished buttoning the last button on his jacket.

"Go tell your father I am almost ready."

Stephen ran out of the bedroom as fast as his little legs would take him.

"Ma most ready."

"Thanks son," replied Joseph as he finished putting on two-year-old Sarah's dress.

"Watch Sarah for me for a moment while I take care of Ruth."

"Yes, Papa."

Stephen grabbed his sister's hand and brought her into the parlor. After settling her on the sofa, he plopped a picture book on their laps. He was showing her the pictures when Joseph, Victoria and Ruth entered in the room.

"Stephen, thank you for caring for Sarah for me."

Stephen looked up at his father and smiled.

"Let me take a picture Miss Victoria."

"Do we have time Miss Jenny?"

"Of course, if we are quick about it."

Victoria and Joseph quickly sat on the sofa placing the picture book on the nearby table. It was the first formal family picture since Ruth had been born a year earlier. The older two stood in front of their parents while Joseph held baby Ruth. Victoria's belly protruding showed her seven months of pregnancy. Miss Jenny snapped a picture just as a single tear slid down her cheek.

"Mama cry."

"I am OK Stephen. I am just so happy to have all of you. We need to get going or we will be late."

### / / /

Later that evening after the children were in bed, Victoria and Joseph sat relaxing in the parlor.

"Joseph, do you ever regret marrying me?"

"Of course not. Why do you ask?" He moved from his favorite chair and sat next to Victoria on the sofa placing his hand lightly on her stomach.

"I am just thinking about how it has been with each child. It has been a struggle each time. You have been so patient with me."

"I love you, Victoria. I knew going in the risk I was taking."

"You do not regret it."

"Miss Jenny and Henry will be with us just like the last three. You will have all the support you need. I have not regretted marrying you for one minute."

"I feel so ashamed that I struggle with this. It takes months for me to bond with them."

"It is God's will, my love. The struggle passes and you have bonded beautifully with all of your children."

"Knowing that does not ease my fears."

"Ask God to ease your fears. He is in control."

### / / /

Victoria gave birth to a beautiful baby boy two months later. To her delight, she bonded instantly with the child. It had been a difficult delivery and the doctor advised her not to have any more. She was content with that since she now had five children total. She only hoped that one day her youngest four would be able to meet their older sister.

###

