I’m Weird Al Yankovic, and it’s time I
reveal the truth on today’s Nerdist News,
Weird The Fridays!
[Jessica mumbles]
Look, Jessica, I’m sorry for taking over
the show but this must be done! There’s
something I have to reveal about myself, and
the nerd world at large. The Nine Nerd Overlords
are not merely legend! We have been influencing
the world in ways you can’t imagine since
our Emperor Prime, Leonardo da Vinci, created
this secret cabal in the 15th century.
[Jessica mumbles]
Exactly, Jessica! Since then, many have followed.
Jules Verne, Nikola Tesla, Marie Curie, Andre
the Giant, Steve Jobs. Indeed, many have joined
our ranks, but never to exceed 9, for as the
prophecy dictates: “9 shall rule, one for
each school: science, pop culture, and other
weird stuff that nerds get super into.”
[Jessica mumbles]
Yeah, yes, but to the point! It’s time to
reveal the nine. Starting with our newest
addition - Elon Musk. After Georgie Lucas
finally retired this year, we allowed ol’
Elon in. Now we all get free Tesla E’s.
The E stands for Energon Cube. You’ll probably
get them in 2019 or so. Don’t worry about
it.
Preceding Elon - in order of seniority - there’s
Joss Whedon: who reshaped pop culture with
strong female heroines and as the creative
mastermind behind The Avengers universe on
screen. Then, Gabe Newell: Steam-lord and
game-mage. Though his membership is in jeopardy
if he doesn’t make good on Half-Life 3 within
the next few years.
Then, of course, there’s George R.R. Martin,
in a spot once held by J.R.R. Tolkien himself.
The main requirement there is pretty much
just that you write killer fantasy literature
and have at least two initialed R’s in your
name.
Next up is Lisa Randall--
[Jessica mumbles - who’s Lisa Randall?]
Who’s that you ask? Oh, just the leading
expert on particle physics and cosmology,
Jessica. You kind of owe her your life for
reasons that would literally shatter your
consciousness if I tried to explain it. But
no worries.
Following Lisa, “The Neil Bros” - Neil
Degrasse Tyson and Neil Gaiman. Tyson for
his mastery of the cosmos and impressively
tacky space-ties. Gaiman for his mythical
influence over the modern hieroglyph -- comic
books.
And finally, there’s Gandalf.
Gandalf? The wizard!? I mean you do mean Ian
McKellan, right?
Ha! Yeah, Jessica. I mean “Ian McKellan”,
not Mithrandir, the White Wizard of mythical
power, able to warp and alter reality itself.
Was this actually supposed to make me feel
better? Because instead I really just feel
more scared.
Relax, Jess - we nine nerd overlords have
got everything under control. We’re just
here to irrevocably alter the world as we
personally see fit. Are we good? Are we evil?
Is there someone you think we should consider
as the next Nerd Overlord? Let us know in
the comments below!
You know Al, next time you want to host the
show, you could just ask me.
Sorry! [Al laughs maniacally]
Weird Al Yankovic everybody! Make sure you
get your tickets to Weird Al’s Mandatory
Fun tour. Visit weirdal.com for all the deets.
You could’ve untied me you know!
Click to subscribe to the Nerdist Channel,
make sure you didn’t miss Tacky, the music
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to nerdist.com for even more Nerdist News!
Guys, seriously, I have to go to the bathroom.
Come untie me. Uh- nevermind.
