Welcome to NPTEL’s course on communication
skills.
We are on module 2.
In the first
module, we started with the introduction to
the course.
I gave an overall view about the
course itself.
I told you the topics that we are likely to
discuss and then in the second
module, we started talking about barriers
to communication.
This module 2 is completely
focusing on the barriers to communication
and will help you at the end to overcome the
barriers and make your communication very
effective.
In the previous lecture, I started with telling
you what barriers are and what kind of
barriers can happen between inter-personal
relationships and between human beings
when they communicate with each other.
Barriers such as psychological barriers and
all
that we discussed in the previous lecture.
Now, in this lecture, we will focus more on
overcoming strategies and then talk more on
barriers and then simultaneously I will also
talk to you about overcoming strategies like,
how can you overcome the barriers.
.
.So, overall in this module, you will learn
about barriers to communication once again.
But previously we focused more on the barriers
arising from sender and/or receiver’s
personality, but this time we will directly
start with discussing some of the strategies
we
can use to overcome those barriers.
Then we will move ahead to discuss about
interpersonal transactions, and overall once
again I will come back and then talk to you
about the barriers to overcome and then make
your communication very effective.
.
Now, very quickly to recapitulate what we
discussed so far in the previous lecture,
I
mentioned to you that the barriers are things
which are obstacles to effective
communication.
They prevent the communication flow; they
are impediments in terms of
communication’s circuital mechanism, in
which it results in miscommunication or a
kind
of communication, which actually leaves some
kind of gap and the other person is not
able to understand what this person, that
is the sender is trying to deliver, trying
to send
the message.
Now, why was it happening?
What are the barriers?
We also identified that barriers are,
such as, are the ones which are happening
because of lack of common code, lack of
common language, lack of common frame of reference
and for each one, I gave you
interesting illustrations.
I hope you remember them.
Then generally when we talked
about personality barriers, I mentioned that,
generally they are psychological in nature
and then we tried to identify why it is so.
Then in that context, we also tried to
.understand that this is happening mostly
because when people try to ignore the
difference in backgrounds, ignore the difference
in perspectives and then I also told you
how perspective varies, depending upon the
stand point and depending upon the position
like for example, husband and wife, mother
in law and daughter in law, elder brother
and
younger brother and so on.
Then, we also discussed that one should avoid
stereotyping.
One should avoid general
prejudice, in which one tends to form stereotypes
and then identify certain general
characteristics to people who belong to a
particular community, religion or who speak
a
particular language or who come from a particular
nationality and so on.
This, actually
makes one jump to conclusions which should
be avoided and overall it was also
emphasized that as against rigid person, rigid
in thinking, one should be open and
flexible as far as communication is concerned.
Finally, I also emphasized the fact that
you should take that note of know it all types.
So, there are clues like, when they talk,
they will say all, none, never.
So, you can use these words to identify that
these are know
it all types and then you should deal with
them accordingly.
Now, having known all
these personalities types, what can you do?
You have identified them.
What can you do
to overcome these barriers from your side?
.
That is what I am going to talk about in terms
of overcoming strategies.
The first and
foremost and the most important aspect of
overcoming strategies is developing empathy.
.Now, empathy is different from sympathy.
When you see a beggar who is shivering in
cold or who is starving and who does not have
money to eat food, so you feel sympathy
for the beggar.
So, you give him some money or you give him
a shawl to cover, so that
he is protected from cold.
This is sympathy.
Empathy is not feeling for, but feeling into.
It is the negative capability that poets like
Keats talked about.
So, you are not actually
the other person, but you are able to feel
into him and feel like him and get his
perspective.
You are actually wearing his hat or you are
into his shoes and you are able
to take his position.
You are able understand, why he is arguing
in that manner or why he
is feeling so negative or why he is not able
understand your view point, once you take
that empathetic point of view.
So, developing empathy, when you are willing
to develop empathy, what does it mean?
It means, your willingness to recognize someone
else situation.
What is the situation that
is making this person to talk in that manner?
So, you are willing to recognize that
situation.
So, when somebody tells you, why he is so
arrogant or why he is talking like
this?
So you, if you emphasize, you may tell, I
never know or we never know.
May be,
he is so arrogant, because of some such situation
which much have caused him to be so.
We do not understand the situation.
Unless we understand that situation, we will
not be
able to actually accuse him for being so.
So, you are trying to be empathetic.
You are trying to accept his or her point
of view
without prejudice.
You are willing to listen to this person with
open mindedness and
remember, Robert Schuller said that the mind
is like a parachute.
It functions only when
it opens.
So, only when the mind is open and only when
you are willing to listen to the
other person, so the communication environment
is generated in a very fertile manner.
So, you should accept his or her point of
view without prejudice.
You listen to the person
without prejudice and you try to be non-judgmental.
In fact, you are not judgmental at
all.
You are not trying to think or form some kind
of decisions in terms of the person’s
character, in terms of the person’s motivation
and all that.
So, you do not think so and
you are open to receive contrary thoughts
and ideas when you empathize.
So, this empathy is something that one should
develop, if one is interested in becoming
good effective communicator and one is really
interested in driving his or her point
across and make or as you put the idiom to
hit the nail on its head, if you want to convey
your message effectively and if you want to
drive home your ideas very firmly.
So, then
.you have to develop this empathy.
What should you do further when you agree
that you
are willing to do this?
So, you should also have an understanding
of the psychology of
man.
So, try to get into his mind.
What are his inner thoughts and also an awareness
of
the differences in background, difference
in perception, and difference in point of
view.
Try to analyze the person’s verbal as well
as non-verbal behavior.
Later, we will enter a module on non-verbal
communication, in which we are going to
talk how the emotional aspect of the human
being leaks out or what is hidden leaks out
through non-verbal behavior, where verbal
behavior is just like a sugar coated pill
and it
is trying to cover it up.
Most of the times what are we try to cover
it up, is revealed by
non-verbal behavior.
So, if you observe the non-verbal behavior
of the person, so you
will able to actually import what is there
in the verbal behavior, verbal communication
part also.
So, try to correlate the verbal with the non-verbal
and accordingly you try to
develop relevant personality traits.
So, in non-verbal communication, it is said
that, if you like somebody, so you try to
mirror their behavior.
So, if the person is slightly sitting leaning
towards you, you also
try to sit leaning towards that person.
So, if the person puts the hand slightly open,
so
you also try to open your palm and so on.
You try to reflect or mirror.
Even a good
communicator tries to reflect verbally the
inaccuracies in the other person’s speech.
In the sense, you happen to be a very erudite
scholar.
Your vocabulary is supreme and
you are able to write academic papers and
you are able to give academic talks.
But, when
you speak to a common man, whose vocabulary
is very poor, you act and you speak in
such a manner, as if your vocabulary is also
not that good.
The reason is, just to make
other person at a very comfortable level,
when the person is interacting with you.
So, you
are reflecting, you are mirroring his communicative
abilities verbally as well as nonverbally.
When you are able to do, you are actually
creating that communication environment and
communication will take place in a very spontaneous
and genuine manner.
When you do
this, you should also not allow to stereotype.
That is, when you form stereotypes, it will
try to cloud your judgment.
So, try to look at the person as a unique
person and try to
remove the person from his religion, nationality,
and culture, custom, even the way he
has dressed and even the way he speaks.
Remove everything and focus on the message.
.See whether the message is coming to you
clearly and whether the message is having
good intention.
Look at that only.
So, do not try to link with certain background
from
which the person hails from, which can give
you some negative connotation depending
on the situation.
So, avoid that.
Do not cloud your judgment.
Now, you should always try to look at the
person from his perspective; the other
perspective.
In order to illustrate that, I will just discuss
a very interesting anecdote that
actually was a kind of paradigm shift that
happened in Steven Coveys life.
In his famous
book, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,
Steven Covey talks about an incident in
the introduction that actually made him change
his way of looking at people.
What was
that incident that made him change his perspective
entirely?
It was this.
Once he was
travelling on this New York subway car.
It is a very quiet car.
So, people are returning back from their work.
So, most of them are tired and some of
them are reading out their newspapers.
Some or just dozing off and it is a very quiet
car
moving slowly.
So, at one stop entered a father with three
kids.
So, more or less with an
age difference of 2 or 3, so one boy, another
girl and then slightly an elder girl.
So, 2
girls and a boy and then they get in.
Now, this person happens to sit next to Steven
Covey and then what happened?
So, he is lost on his thought and then he
is just looking
at somewhere and then he is completely lost
in his own thoughts.
Meanwhile, what did the children do?
They started roaming here and there.
So, they
moved around.
So, understand that it is a very quiet environment
and they started
becoming noisy, noisier, and noisiest and
then they cause lot of disturbance.
They moved
around.
They played hide and seek.
Somebody was reading a newspaper and the small
boy went in and tried to hide behind that
newspaper, getting inside the seat and below
the
seat.
So, all these things they were trying to do
and then moving here and there and then
making lot of noise and slowly one by one,
the passengers got annoyed.
They were
irritated.
But, out of politeness, out of decorum, out
of modesty, they were restraining
themselves.
But, Covey thought, he should also shout at
the person, because he was also
angry and he could not concentrate what he
was having in his hand and he could not read
something.
So, he understood that everybody happened
to be disturbed by these kids and he wanted
to know why this man was just lost in his
own thoughts and not bothering and just
.remain indifferent to what is happening.
But, he was about to shout and before he was
about to shout at this person, he thought
that he better ask the person why he was
remaining.
So, that thought, thinking that let him ask
this person first before he would shout and
express his anger, so that was the thing,
that revealed the very interesting aspect
of the
other person.
So, what did the other person tell?
So, Steven Covey told him, why not you
control your children and it seems you are
lost your own thoughts.
Just you try to control
them and they are causing lot of disturbance.
So, then the man said, “ya, I would do
that”.
So, he was about to do.
But then Covey also, but why are you not doing
that?
So,
then he said, “oh, I am not doing that because
just now we are coming back from the
hospital.”
So, in which their mother was admitted after
a severe fatal accident.
She died on the spot.
They just brought her to the hospital and
she was just young and so lovable and so good
looking and these three children, they were
loving her like anything and she took care
of
all of their activities, like going to school,
their education everything.
“I was completely
lost in my business.
I did not have time to take care of them and
I had never taken them
in this bus so far.
We are returning home.
We are going arrange for the funeral
ceremony.
We have to go back and get the body of my
wife.
But, I am at a loss.
I do not
know what I will do once I go home and these
children had never gone by this bus.
Just
for fun they wanted to get him.
So, I thought I will just give an opportunity
right now.
But, I do not know what will happen when I
go home.
I do not know how to face them.
I
do not know how they will face me.
So, I am just thinking about that.”
Now, the moment Steven Covey realized that
this person was lost in his own thoughts,
not because he was indifferent, not because
he was careless, not because insensitive to
the people around, but because of the personal
tragedy, that was so over whelming, that
he was not able to think actively.
He was not able to go ahead and stop the children,
because he was paralyzed in his own thoughts.
Now, this shift is what Covey calls as
paradigm shift that happened in his life,
that taking the other person’s perspective
before
you think that you should have accuse that
person.
So, that changed him and that made
him write that book also.
..
So, he makes a very interesting statement.
He says, “Do not be guided by prejudice.
Seek
first to understand, then to be understood.”
So, you try to understand the other person
first and then to be understood.
So, if you try to understand the other person
first,
automatically the other person will also try
to understand you, instead of thinking that
you should be understood first.
That is coming from a rigid perspective.
A kind of
prejudice, which Covey says one should avoid.
So developing empathy and then along
with that, removing any kind of prejudice
and willingness to seek first to understand
somebody.
So, these things will go a very long way in
making you a very effective
communicator.
..
Now, to continue with the thought of using
empathy, being very expressive, look at the
quote from another very famous poet and philosopher,
Khalil Gibran.
See what he has to
say.
He says, “Keep me away from the wisdom which
does not cry.”
Keep me away
from the wisdom which does not cry.
So, there is no point in having a wisdom,
which
will not feel or which will not have the sensitivity.
“The philosophy which does not
laugh.”
So, if the philosophy accumulated is just
dry and it is leaving the mirth of life,
then he says, I do not want that philosophy
keep me away from that and “the greatness
which does not bow before children”.
However great you may be, if you cannot bow
before the child, before the children, he
says that I do not want that greatness.
What Khalil Gibran is talking about is this
kind of empathy.
So, when you have one, you
should be able to come out of that box thinking
and able to see life from a different
perspective and one has to be expressive,
accumulating wisdom, having the knowledge
of lot of philosophy and should not make one
a moron.
So, the person should be able to
laugh, the person should be able to cry, and
the person should be able to listen to
children.
So, many philosophers say that we have a lot
to learn from children who are
from 2 to 5 years.
There is so much to learn from them.
So, why not you learn?
Now,
that ability to do that is again making you
becoming a very effective communicator.
..
Now, let us move on to some more barriers,
particularly related to interpersonal
transactions, barriers to communication in
terms of interpersonal transactions.
Now,
earlier I said that, one of the barriers can
happen because of limited frame of reference.
I
am going to give you another example.
This can happen because of lack of language
skills or lack of common knowledge.
Suppose, if somebody is working in an office
environment, if the person does not know what
kind of language is being used in office,
including the jargons, so then the person
will be in trouble.
Now, here is a situation.
A newly appointed secretary, very young, very
active and very
energetic and she wanted to impress the boss.
So, she went on asking the boss, “Boss.
Do
I have to do something?
Do you have some work?”
This is on the very first day.
So, the
boss kept on saying, “Ok.
You be in your cabin.
I will call you when there is some work.
So, do not be so anxious.
I will call you.
I will give you some job.
Do not worry.”
But
still, she went to him again and again and
then after some time, she was in her cabin
and
then she was called by the boss and then the
boss asked her this question.
He gave a
document and then he asked her, “Can you
burn it for me?”
She said, “Yes of course.”
So, she took the papers.
The boss waited for her to return.
After 10 minutes, she did not
turn up and it was very important meeting
going on.
So, 15 minutes, 20 minutes, half an
hour, she did not turn up and then after 1
hour, the boss realized that something was
wrong.
So, he sent a clerk to find out what was wrong
and why was she not coming.
In
the meanwhile, the new secretary went back
to her cabin and then she thought why did
.the boss want me to burn this.
I do not understand.
So, maybe he could have done it
himself.
But, the fact that he wants me to do it, maybe
he wants it to be done very
carefully.
I should burn it without any trace.
So, she took the match box and she burnt all
the documents and then even the ashes she
just through it in the trash can very safely
and
then there is no trace of it.
After an hour, when the boss called her, he
asked, “Have you
burned it?”
She said, “Yes sir.”
“Oh, where are the copies and the original?”
So, then she
was just blinking.
She did not understand what was he asking.
Now, burn, as it is used in
the way you burn in cd’s and nowadays the
way you burn DVDs, the way you burn a
movie, so you are actually copying.
So, burn is a jargon.
It is a slang.
In office parlance,
it refers to photocopying or Xeroxing.
So, he just wanted her to photocopy a very
important document.
That is as old as the start
of the company.
Some 200 year old document and then he thought
that she is a new one
and would do it very earnestly and quickly
and he wanted her to do it.
Since the fellow
who is supposed to do that was on leave, he
thought that she would do that on her own.
But, she thought that he asked her to literally
burn the documents.
So, she went and burnt
them literally.
So, imagine what happened?
So, she was fired off.
Not only fired off, she
was sued and she was taken to court for paying
the damages that was caused because of
her inadvertent burning of this documents.
What happened?
Either the boss should have
realized that probably she would not understand
when he used the slang burn, implying
that it should be photocopied.
Or, she should have asked, ‘Do you mean
that I should
burn it?”
So, then he would have told her, “No.
Stupid.
Idiot.
You are supposed to make
photocopies.”
He would have got angry, no doubt.
He must have been annoyed, no doubt.
But, the
precious document could have been saved safely
just by seeking clarification.
So, two
things.
When the sender is sending it, try to be clear
in your communication and ensure
that the receiver has understood your import
of the message.
Second, you are at the
receiving side.
So, try to understand that you have clearly
taken that the message from
the sender.
If you do not understand, seek clarifications.
Another barrier that can come in between in
interpersonal transactions happen to be the
emotional interference.
In fact, we can talk about emotional barriers
as such.
What do we
mean by emotional interference?
The emotional reactions and particularly negative
attitudes and use of wrong timing, can all
play havoc in communication, cause
.miscommunication, and breakdown of communication.
What about emotions?
Display of
intense emotions is likely to distort the
message.
Intense emotion can be love, very
intense, hatred, jealousy, anger, joy; agony
and sorrow, all are intense emotions.
Now,
this display of emotion while you are talking,
if you try to let it go loose, then words
will
carry different meanings.
Words will be flared up and there will be
miscommunication
and sometimes you lose the other person at
the other end.
.
What are other aspects of emotional barriers
and how to avoid this kind of emotional
barriers and what should you do.
Now, generally when you talk about emotions,
just
sometime before I said that, you should be
expressive.
So, if you gain wisdom, you
should be able to cry also.
You should be able to laugh.
So, that is fine.
But, in terms of
gestures, there are hidden gestures and there
are open gestures.
Some cultures teach the
community, teach the children right from their
childhood that you are a boy, so you
should not cry.
You are a girl and even if you cry, it does
not matter and there are other
cultures, where generally they say that, so
you are tough, so you are not supposed to
cry
at all, whether you are a boy or a girl.
So you are equal.
So, do not let out your emotions.
Now, this kind of, the degree in which you
express your emotions, they happen to be
culturally given to you.
But, how you express it and how do you make
those emotions
effective in your communication is something
that you should learn at an individual
level.
Another thing you should know is that, there
are positive emotions like love,
.expressing kindness, feeling charitable,
and feeling sympathy.
So, these all are positive
emotions.
Whereas, there are negative emotions and mostly
this negative emotions act as strong
barriers compared to positive emotions.
So, what are the negative emotions which act
as
barriers?
Fear.
If you afraid of somebody or something, so
it is a barrier.
Apprehension,
misgiving, so you are doubting or suspecting
somebody and then anger, bitterness,
hatred, jealousy, disbelief, distrust and
even anxiety and low self-esteem.
So, if you have
low self-esteem, automatically you try to
antagonize the other person.
You try to fight
with the other person mentally and then distress
or even stress can all act as negative
barriers in terms of your communication.
Apart from that, fatigue.
If you are physically
so tired, ill health and if you are suffering
from some severe pain, disability so all these
ones can also cause the negative barriers,
negative emotional barriers in communication.
.
Now, the interesting fact here is, negative
emotions interfere more than positive ones.
So,
you should put a check to negative emotions.
If not, you cannot control positive ones.
But, negative emotions should be controlled,
for example, the attitude of the person.
If
the person has a kind of negative attitude,
which is shown in the threatening or
domineering attitude, so it will actually
make the other receiver defensive.
The other
receiver will not come out.
So, even the body gesture.
The person goes so close to the
other one and puts one foot on the chair and
then very close and then he is asking how
.are you?
So, that is intimidating or dominating.
So, other person immediately feels like
going back and try to save the person’s
dignity.
The other person is likely to misinterpret,
ignore or even overreact to the messages.
.
Now, similarly when you are negatively charged
you should avoid arguments because
most of the times when you have negative emotions,
especially anger for example or you
have low self-esteem, you keep on arguing
with the other person.
Dale Carnagie, he has
written many books related to communication,
influencing people and all that.
So, he
makes an interesting statement about avoiding
arguments and why should you avoid
arguments and it is a good advice in terms
of mastering your communication skills.
Look at this.
Why prove to a man he is wrong?
Is that going to make him like you?
If
you prove him wrong, he is not going to like
you.
Why not let him save face?
He did not
ask for your opinion.
He did not want it.
Why argue with him?
You cannot win an
argument because if you lose, you lose it
and if you win it, you lose it.
So, even if you
win the argument, you lose it.
Why?
You will feel fine.
So, you feel happy that you have
one over that opponent, but what about him?
What about your opponent?
You have made
him feel inferior.
You have humiliated that person.
You hurt his pride.
Insult his
intelligence, his judgment and his self-respect
and he will resent your triumph.
He will
not be happy with that fact that you have
one over in the argument.
That will make him
strike back.
He will keep on thinking how to attack you.
.You will come back, but it will never make
him want to change his mind.
When you
trust your ideas, when you won the argument,
he is not going to change his mind.
“A
man convinced against his will is of the same
opinion still.”
That is what Carnagie has to
tell us.
So, if you force your opinion and win the
argument by your domineering attitude
and manner, the other person is not going
to change, but the other person is going to
nurture negativity, which is not good.
In communication, good communication climate
is
generated when there is this win-win situation.
You are right, but I am not wrong or I
agree with you up to this extent.
So, reconciliation, negotiation and transaction,
so that
makes communication effective and not one
winning over the other in terms of
argument.
.
What are other barriers and overcoming strategies?
The other barrier is angry tone.
Apart
from argument, if the tone itself is very
angry, so what happens?
The voice level
becomes too loud when somebody shouting.
Now, what should you do when somebody
is just shouting?
So, if you are at the other side, you should
be able to lower your voice.
You speak in a calm assuring tone.
You show a very peaceful face and the other
person
keeps on yelling.
So, at one point, he will realize that you
are not raising your voice.
You
are cool and you are collected and other person
will automatically reduce his loudness.
Now, anger will also subside.
So, you maintain calmness.
You maintain your voice level
at very even low level.
So, you do not raise it.
So, automatically the person will reduce
and then you will be able to negotiate with
the person.
The sender should also show
.concern, gain trust and establish credibility
in the eyes of the receiver.
This means, the
sender cannot just like that send a message.
The sender has to send trust for the messages
for quiet sometime and then credibility is
built.
Then only he can push for some
innovative ideas, which are not agreeable
by the other person.
This can be done through consistent and predictable
behavior.
The behavior should not
be unpredictable.
So, then the other person should be able to
accept it.
Look at things like
fear of change in offices.
So, suddenly somebody wants to introduce computers,
where
people are doing things manually.
So, fear of change comes.
Now, this can be removed
through education and familiarization.
So, you have to interact with them, negotiate
with
them and bring them to some training sessions,
where they are familiarized with what
you want to tell them and then you remove
this kind of misgiving through educating
them further.
Wrong timing and selection of the best psychological
moment is very
important.
So, you must have seen for example, the boss
is very happy with the subordinate,
because he has earned crores of rupees by
making a very sound investment and the boss
is very happy.
Now, that is the time the subordinate should
go and then when the boss is
praising, he says that, “Sir, what about
my leave?
I wanted 3 months leave.
I wanted to
go on a personal tour to some place.”
That is the time the boss feels happy and
says, “oh,
take it.’
Or, that is the time the person should talk
about promotion.
Not when the boss is
angry and not when the boss is unhappy with
the something.
So, keep this in mind.
So,
wrong timing can go against communication.
Identify the best psychological moment to
discuss some sensitive issues and some pending
ones.
So, we will look at more of the
overcoming strategies in the coming slides.
Let us look at some barriers and then the
overcoming strategies.
One common barrier that can arise is because
of the use of
language.
..
English language particularly, you know it
is a funny language and it has homonyms,
which sometime causes problems.
So, you have same words, but it can mean different
things, even to the same language people in
different context.
Look at some of the
examples.
So, present can mean, one the gift, but second,
the current time.
The present
time.
Bow, it can mean the ribbon, the bow that
one keeps it here or the front of the boat,
or three, the weapon, which is used along
with arrow or the fourth one, bend at the
waist.
So, when you bow before someone.
Ditch has the meaning of trench or somebody
ditching or leaving and running away from
somebody.
Pitch has the meaning of throw
something or tar.
It also means that.
Rich has about 12 meanings.
But, at least some
common meanings, rich commonly means wealthy,
in terms of material wealth and
money.
Also it means abundant supply of desirable
qualities like rich in ideas, rich in
imagination, rich in minerals and it also
means strong or intense, a rich red or intense
red, in that sense.
Well, now you know that it refers to the hole
in the ground, which is used to obtain or
collect water.
In the adverbial position, it refers to something
that is good.
Like, she slept
well, which means she had a good sleep.
Now, it has a third meaning of doing something
in a thorough and complete manner.
A well educated person.
So, it means a person who
is completely educated.
Meter, so it can mean measurement.
That is the basic unit of
length.
It also means rhythm in poetry.
So, when the word is used, so you should make
the context very clear that, in which sense
are you using it, if you are the sender.
If you
.happen to be receiver, you seek clarifications.
Ask them whether the person means this
or not the other one.
So, this actually enhances the communication
effectiveness.
.
Now, look at other interesting examples.
The same words can mean different things in
different cultural contexts, which means in
your culture and your language, it mean
something.
But, in different cultural context, to different
language speaking people, it
means something else, some very interesting
examples, which happened to leading
companies.
Two examples, I would like to quote.
One is about Coco Cola.
When Coco
Cola was introduced in china, it was named
as Ke-Kou-Ke-la.
Now, in Chinese, what it meant was, bite the
wax tadpole.
Obviously, the people did not
mean this or it had another connotation of
female horse stuffed with wax.
This also did
not mean anything like what they had in mind.
Depending on the dialogue, the meaning
was varying.
But, later they changed into Ko-Kou-Ko-Le.
This had the closeness
associated with the drink, the refreshing
drink, happiness in the mouth.
So, this is close
to what they thought of.
So, even initially they also messed up when
it was introduced in
China.
Now, the example given is just to indicate
to you that what is correct in US for
example, was easily understandable by Europeans,
but could not be understood by
another language or another culture, because
it had a different connotation in that culture.
..
Sometimes the meaning gets lost in translation.
Example, General Motors introduction of
the Chevy Nova in South America, it is a good
example because they introduced and
then they thought that, whatever meaning is
translated across by Chevy Nova, they
thought that it is fine.
But, what happened in reality was, the car
was not selling for quite
a long time and then they had their own research
team to find out why it was not selling.
It was not selling any cars, because the research
team found out that No-va means, it
would not go.
So, a car with a connotation that it would
not go, meaning that people thought that,
oh
the car would not go.
The car would not go and it will have problems.
So, why should I
buy this car?
So, later they renamed the car in its Spanish
markets to name something
like Caribe.
Now, Caribe is adjectival for cah-ree-bay,
so that they felt that ethnic
feeling.
They felt that, oh the car is just like meant
for us.
So, it was giving that earthly
feeling to them.
Sometimes, if you do not change it, so the
meaning gets lost.
So, then
again, the communication import is lost.
So, one has to take care of this part also.
..
What are the overcoming strategies?
In this case, when you use an ambiguous or
polysemous word; so ambiguous, more than one
meaning; polysemous, like the word
rich has twelve different meanings, so word
with so many meanings, so when you use
them, make the context very clear.
If there is any cultural variation, try to
understand the
cultural variation in pronunciation that may
cause miscommunication.
Try to understand
this.
While speaking, if you happen to utter these
words, try to correlate your intentions
with positive non-verbal gestures.
So, for example, later when we go for non-verbal
communication, we are going to study that,
any kind of this closing of the hand or
closing the palm will indicate that you are
actually trying to be on the defensive.
So, in interaction, suddenly you feel cold
and then you put like this.
So, in order to avoid
miscommunication, you can tell the other person,
“Are you not feeling cold?
I am feeling
cold.”
So, this makes the other person understand
that, oh because of cold the person is
doing like this and not because he is trying
to hide something to me.
Again, in European
culture and in American culture, looking into
the eyes of the other person or maintaining
direct eye contact is considered to be trustworthy,
direct, honest, and straightforward and
the opposite is true.
If you keep on shifting your eye contact or
if you are looking at
something that is distracting your attention,
they think that you are not honest or you
are
try to avoid something.
Now, there might be a situation, where while
talking, some dust
entered into your eyes and then because of
that you start moving here and there your
eyes and you are not able to focus.
Probably, you should tell the person, say
sorry that
.something has entered into your eyes and
you are not able to look into the person
directly, lest you cause misunderstanding.
So, one interesting thing about communication
is, you can use the non-verbal to correlate
the verbal and when the verbal fails the non-verbal,
so try to clear once again through
verbal communication, what you are doing non-verbally,
which may give a wrong
message to them.
Then seek the help of the translator.
Especially in case of Coco Cola
and other brands, which are introduced, it
is better to seek the help of the translator,
especially a native speaker, the local one,
as and when required, so that you avoid
communication gaps or causing miscommunication.
.
One interesting thing that is happening today
is the technology barrier.
Look at this
picture now.
It is getting circulated in Facebook, saying
that the day that Albert Einstein
feared has arrived.
What was the thing that Einstein feared?
Einstein says, “I fear the day
the technology will surpass our human interaction.
The world will have a generation of
idiots.”
Now, ironically if you understand computers
and mobiles are invented to save
our time.
But, you know how much time the younger generation
is spending in whiling
away their time, wasting their time, in sending
SMS, in checking emails, connecting to
social networking sites, chatting with people
and so on.
Now, look at this.
How communication devices are getting lost
have while when you are
having coffee with your friends.
So, it is a time when you are supposed to
have intimate
.personal chit chats and cheer up.
So, that what is lost, a day in the beach.
Again, you
have gone for an outdoor and then you are
supposed to enjoy the nature.
Again that is
lost.
You are lost in the virtual reality, even
cheering your team.
So, that time also,
instead of genuinely cheering, you are bogged
down with some messages and things that
comes on your mobile device.
Even out on an intimate date, we can see the
intimacy is
missing because technology is serving as a
barrier, even enjoying the sites.
You do not
actually enjoy the site.
You try to capture it, then having dinner.
So, most of the times,
dinner time is the time when you interact
at a very personal and intimate level.
So, that
part is also missing.
Now, how to avoid this kind of technology
barrier and how to cause
effectiveness in communication?
.
You should use technological aids for communication
to the minimum.
So, technology
comes as a support, as a supplement, as something
that is complementing your
communicative purpose and intent and message.
It is not dominating you, so that the
message gets lost and the message gets distorted.
No.
Technology is not meant for that.
Then use appropriate media.
As far as communication is concerned, we have
the spoken
medium, the verbal part.
The written part, which is also verbal, but
the written aspect of
verbal part, the graphic representation of
what you are speaking and the non-verbal.
So,
using other than the verbal part, that is
using your gestures, using your body language,
using your facial expressions, pictures, graphs,
diagrams and all that, so you are able to
communicate.
Now, identify what will be the appropriate
medium first.
Will it be the
.spoken or written or using non-verbal?
Then decide the channel.
So, there are so many
channels like, face to face, one to one, one
to group, one to many, like public speaking,
telephone or using mobile nowadays and using
radio, TV, writing letters, sending emails,
sending SMS, telegrams and so on.
Now, decide the channel and then use the channel
appropriately.
So, if you can use face
to face communication, then do not send SMS.
For example, if the friend is sitting just
next door and then you just want to ask him
whether the person will come for a cup of
the tea, it is better you just and go knock
at the door and request the person whether
you
like to come for a tea instead of sending
a SMS.
The warmth that is generated in the
personal asking is lost in SMS.
So, identify that.
So, even for example, proposals.
Whether it is a business proposal or a marriage
proposal, face to face interaction is a
must.
Of course, after having generated certain
level of maturity in both business as well
as personal transactions, then there is a
face to face interaction.
That is a must.
But, if
you send SMS or email, so then actually the
other person will doubt your genuine
interest in the transaction that is likely
to happen.
Avoid overuse.
So, sending too many, so sending too many
SMS’s, sending too many
emails or long emails, most of the times the
lengthy emails are not read at all.
So, will
see the negatives of writing emails, when
we go to netiquette, but understand at this
stage, if you are writing long emails, people
treat that as spam and they delete it.
So, this
is again overuse of technology.
Then long phone calls, talking for hours,
that actually
forgetting why you really wanted to talk to
the person.
So, even making phone call, you
have to identify the purpose and tell at the
beginning what you wanted to ask the person
and then remind the person while talking and
at the end of it, ensure that you had
actually discussed those three points that
you wanted to elicit information from the
other
person and seek his favor in one of them.
..
Overall, some more overcoming strategies.
Generally, if you are in doubt, do not be
afraid of asking questions.
Ask questions.
So, this will eliminate lot of loopholes in
communication.
Ask
questions
and
see
clarifications.
Never
presume
your
communication meaning is easily understood
by the other person.
So, even if you are
delivering a lecture or a talk, you can just
pause and then ask one of them, “Are you
with
me?
Do you follow me?
Do you understand what I am telling?”
Or “Can you just put it
in your own words?”
So, seek clarifications.
Be clear and precise about your message.
So, do not meander.
Do not use unnecessary
words.
When you are speak, you should be speaking
in such a manner that, even
removing one or two words will not make your
communication message effective.
So, in
certain cases, paragraphs can be removed in
written one.
Not just words.
So, do not write
like that.
Use repetition, especially while speaking,
and try to repeat to reinforce your
ideas.
Summarize occasionally and try to paraphrase.
Sometimes, instead of
summarizing, you can also put the same idea,
especially if it is the complex one, in a
simple manner using different words.
Ask somebody to summarize.
You do not do that.
Especially in public speaking or a classroom
kind of situation, you ask one of the
students or one from the audience to briefly
summarize what you have being telling so
far.
The audience will be grateful to you because
it will be easy for them to understand
from the peer group than from you, if it is
a complex idea.
Listen carefully and patiently,
if you are at the other side with empathy.
Listen carefully and patiently.
Do not interrupt,
.even if somebody criticizes you.
Do not try to stop the person.
If somebody is criticizing
you, allow the person to speak and if the
person is raising the voice, use the previous
method that is suggested.
You remain calm.
You remain cool.
You are not raising your
voice.
Automatically you are forcing the other person
to bring the tone down.
But, at the
same time, what can you do?
You try to reflect back on the criticism.
You ask the
person, is that he wants to know from you?
Put it in your own words.
So, that makes the
person feel understood.
.
So, these are some simple overcoming strategies
that will make it more interesting.
Now,
the final question before I conclude this
lecture.
What about accessories?
Are they
physical barriers or psychological barriers?
What are accessories?
Accessories for
example, even tie, coat, specs, even dying
your hair.
So, look at the list I have made.
Clothing, the way you dress up, body perfume,
grooming your hairstyle, using dye using
some kind of gel, the watch, the color of
your, this, the leather strap.
So, all matters.
Bracelet, ear rings, nose ring, necklace,
makeup, the dying of hair, moustache type,
what
kind of moustache or not having mush at all,
hair style type, belt, hand bag, folder,
footwear, shoes, slippers high heels.
Now, are they physical or psychological barriers?
Now, the simple rule is, there should not
be barriers at all.
Suppose you wear new shoes thinking that the
new shoes will impress the people in
interview.
But, if the shoes keep on pinching you and
then it is hurting you and it is
.giving pain to you, now that is a no.
It is going to become a psychological barrier
when
you are going to give answer.
If you think that wearing that necklace, the
new one that
was gifted to you, the diamond necklace is
so good, but if you sit in the interview panel
and then it is glaring and somebody is very
sensitive to eye sight and then light, is
not so
congenial for this person and when this glitters
on this person’s eye, so that is no.
You
are trying to distract attention.
.
Now, the same thing goes for example, things
like wearing high heels.
Even research is
done.
People know that wearing high heels, for example,
is not good for back.
It actually
causes lot of problems.
Spondylitis can be caused because of wearing
high heels.
But,
when ladies were asked, especially people
who have tall bosses, the male boss and if
the
secretary happens to be slightly short, wearing
high heels, most of the lady secretaries
said that, they were able to maintain eye
contact, direct eye contact.
So, this was helping
them to maintain that, so that they were able
to feel that they are on par with the boss
and
it was reducing nervousness and any kind of
insecurity.
But, the same thing for, let us
say a diamond studded high heels, so that
is again a distracter.
So, that should not be
used.
The final conclusion is, even if they happen
to be physical barriers, if they are so you
remove them.
Do not use anything that will distract the
attention.
Do not use a shirt that
will make you feel uncomfortable.
Even if the shirt is faded and if you think
that will
.make you feel comfortable, so take it to
the interview.
But, the shirt is new, but then you
are not very comfortable in that one, so do
not wear it.
So, do not let accessories act as
your physical barrier, but make them, make
your aplomb stronger.
Make them give you
confidence.
Make them make you feel comfortable.
So, if you can do that, so then they
do not act as either physical or psychological
barriers, but they support, supplement,
complement your communication message and
sometimes, the accessories are very
powerfully effective in driving a very strong
point across.
.
Now, for a very quick further reference, there
is a book on Brilliant Communication
Skills and then I also mentioned about this
book in the first one, Basic Business
Communication by Lesikar and Flatley.
This also, this Business Communication
Strategies by Monippally and Speak with Power
and Confidence by Patrick Collins is
another book that you can read after this.
So, at the end of this lecture, we have talked
about some of the interesting overcoming strategies
in order to make your
communication effective.
At the beginning we started with talking about
barriers to
communication.
Mostly we focused on sender receiver’s personality
and interpersonal
communication.
In the next lecture, we have going to focus
on how miscommunication can happen and
then how we can overcome, especially in terms
of organizational setups.
So, thank you so much, and bye till the next
lecture.
.
