

## Tragedy and Self-Destruction

### As Humor in Microliterature

### Volume 2 of 2

By Anthony Edward Mitchell

@aem76us #tasd – v.1.6

Tragedy and Self-Destruction shows how microliterature entertains, informs and persuades in its treatment of everyday life and the extremes of the human condition. An anthology of the best material from the first nine years of microblogging, the book's quotes about school, job-seeking, work, business communication, unemployment, aging, loss of attractiveness, death, poverty, Internet addiction, and the disappearance of privacy are both funny and profound. Find your own situation reflected and perhaps re-defined through humor. Learn how to be more entertaining, succinct and persuasive in a range of situations. Become more subliminal, ironic and sublime.

Corrected first edition, 9 December 2015.

First edition, 12 March 2015.

Statistics for v.1.6, volume 2:

Pages: 1870 total; 1068 this volume, @ 8.5"x11" paper, excluding covers.

Paragraphs: 40,837 total; 27,079 this volume.

Lines: 103,100 total; 57,300 this volume.

Words: 704,288 total; 338,698 this volume.

Characters: 4,337,278 total; 2,104,409 this volume.

Characters with spaces: 5,015,549 total; 2,424,590 this volume.

Total number of ^sources: 2943, with an average of roughly two quotes per source.

ISBN: 978-0-9907891-2-3

Copyright 2015 © by Anthony Edward Mitchell. All rights reserved, except as set out in the copyright notice.

#  Table of Contents

Content warning

The workplace

Internet censorship

Privacy and anonymity in modern society

The abyss

Enantiodromia

Literary influence of the form

INAD

Addiction to social media

Copyright notice

Citation information and additional qualifiers and warnings

Music mentioned in this anthology

Number of citations per source and citations per section

Author index

Bibliography

Acknowledgements

### Volume 1 contents:

Content warning

How to read this book

Authors identified by @names

Summary

Audience preparation

Concise literature

Plagiarism, imitation and becoming a better writer

Commonplaces in the writing process

Literature in crisis

Microliterature as literature

Aphorisms and clichés

Facebook versus Twitter

Microblogging mechanics and leaderboards

Microblog conventions

The Age of Irony

Yoko Ono and the imagination of art

Fluxus

A press of one's own

Micro-comedy: the next generation

Grammar

The genre of tragedy and self-destruction

Openings

Almost openings

Philosophy

Vanilla tragedy and self-destruction

Dialogs

The Future

Time travel

Six word war

Youth and appearance

Approaching aging

Life's conclusion

# 1. Content warning

Given its ubiquity in media and culture, some material quoted here contains adult language and situations – mostly swearing. In addition, the chapter about American military experiences in Iraq and Afghanistan contains brief descriptions of violence, cruelty and death. While not overly graphic, these descriptions will upset some readers.

Those of us who seek to avoid adult content and language should be respected. We should also be alerted, beforehand, if a book might be inappropriate or offensive to us so that we can decide whether to continue. If reading adult language and content is not appropriate for you, for whatever reason, then this book is not appropriate for you.

See also: Citation information and additional qualifiers and warnings.

Sections 2 through 113 can be found in the first volume of this two-volume work.

#  114. The Workplace

Your fabulous career.

15 January 2013 The Bosha ‏@TheBosha [^114.1] https://twitter.com/TheBosha/status/291418109640835072 His bio and stats on 4 May 2013: You little punks think you own this town. http://thebosha.tumblr.com/ · http://www.witstream.com/#jim_bosha - 15,076 tweets. 556 following. 12,587 followers.

Introduction: 115

General complaints: 116

Bosses, negative: 117

Social environment: 118

Customer management: 119

How to deal with angry people: 120

How to negotiate: 121

Issues with other employees: 122

Slacking: 123

Working from home, quitting, and not working: 124

Inequality and class: 125

Elizabeth Warren: 126

Reducing inequality helps everyone: 127

Sexual politics: 128

School, how it prepares you: 129

Pedagogy and the economics of education: 130

The internship economy: 131

Academia and its discontents: 132

Recruiting and HR: 133

Economics: 134

Twenty lessons from the Great Recession: 135

Business communication: 136

Meetings: 137

Shaking hands: 138

Meeting new people and being punctual: 139

Coping and productivity: 140

Leadership: 141

Axioms: 142

Appendix — four traps that suck meaning out of work: 143

#  115. Introduction

Workplaces are intensely social environments. Fit in or perish.

Educational institutions often do a poor job in preparing students for a life of work. Training in supervisory skills is shoddy or lacking. We are unprepared to supervise or be supervised. The result? Toxic leadership, dysfunctional organizations and tortured individuals.

In software development, the best developers are often the most critical – of themselves and others. Promoting these people to supervisory positions spreads their negativity around, poisoning the workplace. A truism is that employees don't leave jobs, they leave supervisors.

Whither innovation? Innovation is widely touted and little understood. Innovation and scientific research have been broken into little pieces and industrialized. Individuals perform discrete, repetitive tasks within narrow fields of expertise. The larger picture is lost to us.

We are the last generation to understand how information technology works. In the future, the technical building blocks of information technology will be so complex as to preclude a single individual from mastering them all. These are not the conditions under which history's greatest inventors flourished.

For Leonardo Da Vinci:

The type of education Da Vinci received, mentor-disciple, is almost non-existent today. The kind of personality he had, **free-flowing (procrastinating and whimsical) and curious** , is not suited to the current society's reward structure; in fact, its discourage by all but the very best of the schools.

The indendented paragraph above is a comment by Naman Kumar **(Namank.com)** posted on 16 July 2011 in response to the following article, which also contributed ideas to the two paragraphs on innovation (above Naman's comment) and the paragraph below on schools being an endurance test: "Why there will never be another Da Vinci," by Tim Harford on his blog TimHarford.com, 9 July 2011, http://timharford.com/2011/07/why-there-will-never-be-another-da-vinci/ Bolding added for emphasis above.

Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 22 August 2013 for Tim Harford @TimHarford [^115.2] Author of Adapt; Undercover Economist at the FT; presenter of More or Less, Radio 4. (Email v/ website is best for important messages.) Views my own, of course. Location: Oxford · timharford.com. 22,032 tweets. 512 following. 69,836 followers.

Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 22 August 2013 for namankumar @naman_k [^115.1] a bit o' this and lots of that. this involves engineering, that involves redesigning the world; THAT involves redesigning people. Location: waterloo, canada. namank.com. 3,335 tweets. 299 following. 283 followers.

Da Vinci was not a formal surname but rather a descriptive term to distinguish Leonardo from others with the same name. Any children Leonardo might have had would not have Da Vinci in their name.

There's a box?

15 October 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^115.3] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/390209406303883264 Twitter bio and stats on 30 December 2013 for this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 17,120 tweets. 729 following. 28,655 followers. Plays on the saw: "Think outside the box."

The time and money spent attending school can sometimes yield few returns. Schools can make important subjects mind-numbingly boring so as to weed students out. The study of math, engineering and science becomes an endurance test, a death march in which only the stubborn survive. The first to perish are often those motivated largely by curiosity and the joy of learning and discovery – the very people those fields of knowledge need in order to advance.

The topic of education is buried in the middle of this chapter on the workplace, which mainly addresses the social aspects of employment. This chapter looks at working, supervising and being supervised. It salvages humor from customer relations and sexual politics in the workplace.

Overshadowing everyone is the fear of poverty and economic hardship, which this chapter approaches from both individual and global perspectives. Microbloggers describe their experiences with poverty and the fears associated with falling into it. The existence of a large underclass has a chilling effect because it shows how easy it would be for us to fall into. Even educated professionals can become displaced.

Tried to comfort myself by telling myself I could live in my car if my life fell apart but then remembered I don't actually have a car.

21 June 2011 Sputnik Sweetheart @Verlieren [^115.4] https://twitter.com/#!/Verlieren/status/83360334827622400 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: Creator of Google, previously psychotic person. Not to make you fall in love with me but I probably don't have AIDS. http://tinyurl.com/verinstagram - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001856/ - 11,012 tweets. 548 following. 14,712 followers. She was not an educated professional at the time.

Despite this chapter's cynicism, we all have a stake in a building a sustainable economy. Amidst the tragedy and self-destruction below is a search for the ingredients for a healthy economy and healthy people.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  116. General complaints

Oh hai work.

We've got to stop meeting like this.

No, really. I don't care for you *that* much.

16 June 2009 @penbleth [^116.1] (Penbleth) From N.I. now in Wales. On Favrd. URL lost. Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 23 August 2013: Penbleth @penbleth - Not making sense, one word at a time. Life with a kid with Autism: http://penbleth.co.uk More nonsense: http://penbleth.com Photos: http://www.flickr.com/photos/penbleth - One day I'll get it right. · penbleth.co.uk. 13,866 tweets. 510 following. 1,432 followers. N.I. = Northern Ireland.

Hollywood overestimates the amount of times people get so angry that they just have to sweep everything off their desk

26 September 2011 Manish ‏@savvystrider [^116.2] https://twitter.com/savvystrider/status/118291158823735296 His Twitter bio and stats on 4 August 2013: I like everything you like. Location: Not there · http://favstar.fm/users/savvystrider/recent - 3,314 tweets. 7,304 following. 7,268 followers.

every day is like halloween. i dress in dumb shit and take candy from strangers.

23 October 2011 mrs. uppinghouse @omgitsleesa [^116.3] https://twitter.com/#!/omgitsleesa/status/128018197000617984 She started as leesa @omgitsleesa, which was de-activated. Returned as lmf @leesmf. In September 2011 began tweeting from both accounts. Both accounts appear to have been de-activated in early April 2012. She was in the New York City metropolitan area.

A plague of toils.

25 October 2012 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^116.4] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/261390536651444224 His bio and stats on 13 November 2012: i was born 'n stuff. Location: Hanging out in my garage. http://favstar.fm/users/RobotThomas - 33,147 tweets. 6,053 following. 5,597 followers.

The first days are the hardest days. Once you're dead inside, the days get much easier.

17 May 2011 Donni Saphire [^116.5] https://twitter.com/#!/donni/status/70382386856206336 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Comedy sand wedge. Writer, performer, fledgling opener, packet submitter. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Sea cows probably never see cows. Location: Chicago City Of Wind · http://qr.net/donni - 9,640 tweets. 839 following. 25,773 followers.

Be the monotony.

27 April 2012 Friedrich Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^116.6] https://twitter.com/#!/TinyNietzsche/status/195940689064902656 Twitter bio and stats on 17 June 2013 for this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 13,921 tweets. 571 following. 22,555 followers. Parody account.

My work here is dumb.

23 February 2011 Shane @shanethevein [^116.7] https://twitter.com/#!/shanethevein/status/40473549672030208 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: Twitter should be an escape, not a destination. http://favstar.fm/users/shanethevein Location: America's Finest City! · http://shanethevein.tumblr.com/ - 21,001 tweets. 5,385 following. 16,054 followers.

It's not the work, it's the people.

7 November 2011 Pauly Miller @PaulyMortadella [^116.8] https://twitter.com/#!/PaulyMortadella/status/133764483804954624 No Twitter account found with this ID on 18 March 2013.

I'm so much nicer on days I don't have to do things for people I hate.

7 January 2012 Master Shake ‏@ExcuseMyTweets [^116.9] https://twitter.com/excusemytweets/status/155637822668292096 Her bio and follower count on 4 June 2012: I'm an oxymoron of empathy and cynicism. Human rights pacifist. Oh, and inappropriate jokes are sort of my thing. 3,849 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 21 November 2013: I dislike most things. IG:SomeoneStopHer - 37,982 tweets. 2,196 following. 5,620 followers.

I am a tool that hates itself.

8 December 2011 Ms. Spalanzani @rejecter [^116.10] https://twitter.com/#!/rejecter/status/144736725476982784 Her bio and stats on 19 December 2012: Commie hoochie trollop. Subterfugitive. 17,014 tweets. 267 following. 4,547 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 24 September 2013: She can read, she can read, she can read, she's bad. Location: Västerås. 19,573 tweets. 300 following. 4,400 followers.

All I have to do before I finish this project is bargaining, depression, acceptance, and the project.

22 June 2009 @ErsatzMoe [^116.11] (Moe) from ÜT on Favrd. URL lost. No Twitter account with this ID found on 23 August 2013.

an unknown error has occured, it is now sunday evening

10 November 2013 Albertus ‏@vyfdewiel [^116.12] https://twitter.com/vyfdewiel/status/399568912691384320 Bio and stats on 14 November 2013: a face you can trust. Location: South Africa. 43 tweets. 227 following. 77 followers.

@daveweigel **Europe: 35-hour workweek. America: 35-hour Monday & Tuesday.**

13 September 2011 Garance Franke-Ruta @thegarance [^116.13] https://twitter.com/#!/thegarance/status/113863203053764608 Her Twitter bio and stats on 23 August 2013: Senior editor, @TheAtlantic. Your early warning system. Politics, media, breaking. Location: Washington, D.C. · theatlantic.com. 30,661 tweets. 4,202 following. 30,836 followers.

I watched Monday crying in the corner, no longer the bully it once was, having lost its power over me now that I'd started working on Sunday

Monday 16 April 2012 Very Short Story @VeryShortStory [^116.14] https://twitter.com/#!/VeryShortStory/status/191945145061613568 Bio and stats on 31 January 2013: Twitter sized fiction. Stories by @sean_hill. Send me a noun and I'll use the ones that inspire me in a story. Get the book http://amzn.to/VeryShortStories - Location: Austin, Tx · http://www.very-short-story.com - 1,136 tweets. 40,553 following. 145,010 followers.

Sunday night is the new Monday morning

10:28 p.m. PDT, Sunday 4 August 2013 seattle ‏@jseattle [^116.15] https://twitter.com/jseattle/status/364256534865256448 Bio: Justin, publisher, CHS Capitol Hill Seattle Blog -- DM or @ for breaking news or txt/call (206) 399-5959. Location: Seattle, WA 98112 · capitolhillseattle.com - 39,100 tweets. 2,812 following. 10,504 followers.

In the US tech sector and for many self-employed professionals, Sunday night is often spent working, although rarely in an office. Justin (the 'j' in @jseattle) worked at Microsoft before launching his hyper-local news publication.

So it's the weekend, I have decided not to work late today and now I don't know what to do with my life.

30 August 2013 Maham Ali ‏@Mahamali05 [^116.16] https://twitter.com/Mahamali05/status/373531048350449664 Her Twitter bio and stats on 4 September 2013: Not a Human Rights Activist. 25,349 tweets. 158 following. 4,669 followers.

The difference between a job and career? A job ends when you walk out each day. A career comes home with you, physically and mentally

22 June 2011 Jeremiah Owyang @jowyang [^116.17] https://twitter.com/#!/jowyang/status/83638879122497536 His bio and stats on 18 November 2012: Industry Analyst, Partner at Altimeter Group. Some tweets publish on timer. How I use Twitter http://bit.ly/LK0i - Location: Silicon Valley, CA · http://web-strategist.com/blog - 36,460 tweets. 13,132 following. 115,905 followers. Bio and stats on 27 April 2015: Founder of http://CrowdCompanies.com @CrowdCompanies, and housemate to @goodboyrumba – Location: Silicon Valley, CA - web-strategist.com/blog - 57,709 tweets. 18,513 following. 161,010 followers.

Work Hard, Play Dead.

28 September 2013 MajorFlakes ‏@MajorFlakes[^116.18] https://twitter.com/MajorFlakes/status/384084905430224896 Twitter bio and stats on 28 September 2013: I'm probably afraid of you. (RIP @MajorFlake). Location: Eeeeeeeee · com.com.com. 190 tweets. 122 following. 270 followers.

My biggest fear is that one day the cleaning lady will forget to wake me up and lock me in the office.

30 July 2012 dudi sharon ‏@Thedudish [^116.19] https://twitter.com/Thedudish/status/230001104153374720 His bio and stats on 17 January 2013: I wish I had the ability to read my own mind. Location: Under the fridge · http://favstar.fm/users/thedudish/recent - 936 tweets. 774 following. 6,608 followers.

"Here, let me suck as much life from you as possible." –jobs

22 June 2011 Will Phillips @TheThryll [^116.20] https://twitter.com/#!/TheThryll/status/83637603806609408 His bio and stats on 17 January 2013: Handsome. Unemployed. Handsome. Ken Burns enthusiast. Location: Parts Unknown. 3,304 tweets. 742 following. 15,869 followers.

Click This Link Please My Boss Counts How Many People Click It and Compares It To The Number of People who Click My Coworkers' Links

9 December 2013 Mal Harris ‏@BigMeanInternet [^116.21] https://twitter.com/BigMeanInternet/status/410145340315422720 Bio and stats on 21 January 2014: @newinquiry | ain't a real writer | RT'd by Justin 4/1/2013 | BieberFan420 on http://Chess.com – Location: Brooklyn · thenewinquiry.com – 30,589 tweets. 1,305 following. 4,875 followers.

Reply:

@BigMeanInternet At Change(dot)org, there was one shared Google Analytics page which listed each editor's weekly hits. And we were Judged.

9 December 2013 Charles Davis ‏@charliearchy [^116.22] https://twitter.com/charliearchy/status/410148309047586816 Bio and stats on 21 January 2014: A contributor to society. [charles (at) http://freecharlesdavis.com ] Location: Los Angeles, California · FreeCharlesDavis.com – 17,624 tweets, 261 following. 4,247 followers.

I hate to break it to you but clams aren't all that happy.

24 February 2012 Not the Lord ‏ @byronblurb [^116.23] https://twitter.com/#!/byronblurb/status/173233432720191488 His bio and stats on 2 November 2012: skilled at the art of changing the subject; unlimited fountain of useless nonsense; usually able to finish 2 cheeseburgers with no problem. Location: Close enough to come visit. · http://www.favstar.fm/users/byronblurb/recent - 10,007 tweets. 5,593 following. 6,024 followers.

Plays on happy as clams, an idiom that originated on the East Coast of the US. It replaced its precursors, "happy as a clam in high water" and "happy as a clam in high tide" in 1830-1840. High water protects clams by making them hard to see by clam diggers, who would also be unlikely to walk out into the water during a high tide because the tide might sweep them away.

My work environment would be much more serene if I could stop screaming.

18 July 2011 Chris Angel @TheChrisAngel [^116.24] https://twitter.com/#!/TheChrisAngel/status/92910593077547008 Twitter bio and stats on 18 July 2012: Recording artist. Singer/Songwriter. Eater of Skittles. My wife married an idiot. My name is Chris. Location: Ottawa. 16,906 tweets. 695 following. 5,671 followers. No account with this ID found on 8 June 2013.

The great thing about working in a cubicle is nobody can see you crying!

16 December 2011 Josh S ‏@jorshuwah [^116.25] https://twitter.com/jorshuwah/status/147787813084078080 His bio and stats on 28 March 2013: favstar.fm/users/jorshuwah – Location: Sydney, Australia. · jorshuwah.tumblr.com - 2,254 tweets. 996 following. 1,909 followers.

Crying at work is the most demoralizing thing you can do.

2 July 2012 Veronica ‏@RoniGrace - https://twitter.com/RoniGrace/status/219842452784295937 Bio and stats on 7 July 2012: I've started an empire; it may or may not be evil. I write stories. Some of them are erotic. 39,974 tweets. 1,366 following. 4,261 followers. Twittercided and returned on 17 July 2012 as Veronica Grace ‏@ronigrace [^116.26]. On 7 August 2013 her second account (@ronigrace) was found to have been abandoned and the ID taken over by someone else.

No matter how busy I get, I set aside 2 or 3 hours a day for my hobbies of "eating" and "sleeping."

12 October 2010 donni @donni [^116.27] https://twitter.com/#!/donni/status/27212781548 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Comedy sand wedge. Writer, performer, fledgling opener, packet submitter. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Sea cows probably never see cows. Location: Chicago City Of Wind · http://qr.net/donni - 9,640 tweets. 839 following. 25,773 followers.

I almost did this stupid thing at work where I think for myself.

3 April 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^116.28] https://twitter.com/#!/nerdamage/status/187364429061558272 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 14,015 tweets. 3,128 following. 9,547 followers.

Mediocrity is not only tolerated, it's celebrated!

6 June 2012 midtowngirl ‏@_Midtowngirl [^116.29] https://twitter.com/_Midtowngirl/status/210572019811631104 Bio and stats on 16 March 2013: Investment Banking.100% Nerd. @Columbia alumni. Native NY'er (Born & Raised on the Upper West Side) with typical cynical outlook on life only true NYers have. Location: Midtown, Manhattan. 11,091 tweets. 179 following. 499 followers.

Go away, mosquito. I've already had the blood drained out of me by my job.

3 September 2011 Steve Mieczkowski @IGotsSmarts [^116.30] https://twitter.com/#!/IGotsSmarts/status/109880980495540224 His Twitter bio and stats on 20 October 2012: I only have 26 letters to work with. Don't expect any miracles. Location: Albuquerque, NM http://favstar.fm/users/IGotsSmarts/recent - 4,327 tweets. 793 following. 9,276 followers.

I'm running on zero sleep and don't even remember driving. Shit! I don't even work at this place.

15 February 2012 Calamity ClemRocks @TrueTorontoGirl [^116.31] https://twitter.com/#!/TrueTorontoGirl/status/169774980589035521 Her bio and stats on 30 October 2012: I am ASS whatever.... Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada · http://favstar.fm/users/TrueTorontoGirl - 19,538 tweets. 1,187 following. 12,323 followers.

I don't mean to brag, but I kick ASS at not dying on my way home from work every night. EVERY NIGHT.

6 December 2010 Kelly T @ISaidDont [^116.32] https://twitter.com/#!/ISaidDont/status/11964684739543041 She was in Vancouver, BC. Her Twitter bio and stats on 23 August 2013: Seriously, don't. And don't touch my stuff either. Location: Vancouver, America Jr. · favstar.fm/users/ISaidDont - 15,049 tweets. 987 following. 2,844 followers.

Just a reminder: creativity is important, but not yours. Never yours.

4 June 2009 Dean Cameron Allen @textism [^116.33] https://twitter.com/#!/textism/status/2031023776 His bio and stats on 22 November 2012: Hooray chums! Location: Rhône Valley, FR · http://textism.com - 1,882 tweets. 151 following. 5,123 followers.

Thanks for the alienation.

13 November 2012 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^116.34] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/268590092837347328

His bio: i was born 'n stuff. Location: Hanging out in my garage. http://favstar.fm/users/RobotThomas - 33,147 tweets. 6,053 following. 5,597 followers.

A blind and deaf monkey could do my job.

13 July 2012 Janelle ‏@Cornfed210 [^116.35] https://twitter.com/Cornfed210/status/223849992769646594 Her Twitter bio and stats on 27 July 2012: Don't expect much and you won't be let down. Location: North Carolina. 428 tweets. 221 following. 180 followers. No Twitter account with this ID found on 23 August 2013.

I love my job as much as I love you.

5 April 2012 Jerzey Bitch!‏ @JerseyShell1 [^116.36] https://twitter.com/#!/JerseyShell1/status/187939377299718146 Her Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 23 August 2013: Jerzey @JerseyShell1 - I just tweet about real stuff that happens in life...some of it funny, some not so funny...You have been warned...If you don't like it, leave.... \- Location: Mutha Fuckin' Jerzey. 23,220 tweets. 1,424 following. 1,476 followers.

I'm definitely not married to my work. I know this because it's fucking me.

22 January 2011 Bill Mc7 ‏@BillMc7 [^116.37] https://twitter.com/BillMc7/status/29063220169805824 His bio and stats on 14 December 2012: Writer for Ladies' Home Journal and Penthouse Forum. Location: Los Angeles · http://favstar.fm/users/BillMc7 - 5,933 tweets. 1,238 following. 31,033 followers.

I silently mouth the words "What the fuck?" at least 20 times a day.

28 June 2012 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^116.38] https://twitter.com/Schmoodles/status/218314297053417473 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

Goal for today: Don't Cry.

1 October 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^116.39] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/253021357649039360 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,223 tweets. 1,918 following. 1,773 followers.

When I was a little girl, there were lots of things I wanted to be when I grew up.

Crack Whore was higher on the list than the job I do now.

3 October 2011 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^116.40] https://twitter.com/#!/Schmoodles/status/120946563731300352 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

When I grow up I wanna be a divorced father of two who works in a cubicle, lives in a subdivision and gets stressed out about gas mileage.

28 April 2011 Adam Juskewitch @juskewitch [^116.41] https://twitter.com/#!/juskewitch/status/63640973992923136 Twitter bio and stats on 15 June 2013: Every night I steal the little gnome figurine from my neighbor's yard and replace it with a gnome that's identical but one inch taller. http://witstream.com/contributor/Adam_Juskewitch - 7,222 tweets. 681 following. 10,931 followers.

I specifically asked for the graveyard shift because I am dead inside.

30 September 2011 Tina Chesal @tinaisall [^116.42] https://twitter.com/#!/tinaisall/status/25981810399 Twitter bio and stats on 18 June 2013: You are so pretty. Instagram: tinaisall. Location: New York/London/Paris/Tokyo · duhbytina.com - 6,892 tweets. 1,021 following. 6,330 followers.

Most people don't realize the Hunchback of Notre Dame's back problems were a result of his grueling database entry job.

23 May 2012 Jeremy Wetzel ‏@WetzelGeek [^116.43] https://twitter.com/WetzelGeek/status/205383233842581504 Twitter bio and stats on 24 August 2013: The only business talk here is inspired by poop jokes, and fart sounds. Location: Washington DC · http://favstar.fm/users/WetzelGeek/ - 1,483 tweets. 530 following. 3,336 followers.

Some days I just stand here at work and think "how bad could prison really be?"

27 June 2012 Cocky McCockerson ‏@Randy_was_here [^116.44] https://twitter.com/Randy_was_here/status/218040518947520515 His Twitter bio and stats on 24 August 2013: Foul mouthed fitness geek, nascar fan, wetter of milf panties, married to @KimberlyH315 so behave. Location: Club Vanderrsexxx · http://favstar.fm/users/Randy_was_here - 19,480 tweets. 2,519 following. 2,263 followers. On 24 August 2013 this was his top tweet on Favstar.

My performance review is like a parole hearing. I'll just sit there nodding, say sorry a dozen times and go right back to my cell.

13 October 2011 *ecorno* @ecorno2 [^116.45] https://twitter.com/#!/ecorno2/status/124485381046550528 Bio and stats on 8 November 2012: Se non è vero, è ben trovato. Sogni d'oro. Godetevi lo spettacolo. 5,400 tweets. 1,049 following. 5,318 followers.

We're sorry, but your services are no longer needed.

You may collect your personal items from the bottom of the dumpster.

5 July 2011 Jocelyn TestesHarder @FilthyRichmond [^116.46] https://twitter.com/#!/FilthyRichmond/status/88234536592355328 Twitter bio and stats on 5 March 2013 for Jocelyn Plums @FilthyRichmond - Kiss Mommy's cold sore and make it better! #RVA http://FilthyRichmond.com Location: Richmond, VA · http://favstar.fm/users/filthyrichmond/recent - 9,914 tweets. 3,384 following. 65,783 followers.

If you work for one company long enough, eventually you will find a way to sue them.

2 September 2011 Will Phillips @TheThryll [^116.47] https://twitter.com/#!/TheThryll/status/109744817252208640 His bio and stats on 17 January 2013: Handsome. Unemployed. Handsome. Ken Burns enthusiast. Location: Parts Unknown. 3,304 tweets. 742 following. 15,869 followers.

Companies love misery.

25 April 2012 Peter Serafinowicz ‏@serafinowicz [^116.48] https://twitter.com/#!/serafinowicz/status/195118159878037504 Bio and stats on 22 March 2013: Male actress and comedienne. A Billion Jokes (Volume One) is out now! http://amzn.to/RJiu2S - Location: Earth's Core · http://www.peterserafinowicz.com/ - 17,571 tweets. 2,917 following. 684,985 followers.

Instead of misery loves company.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  117. Bosses, negative

I run the machine that runs the machines.

6 December 2010 donni @donni [^117.1] https://twitter.com/#!/donni/status/12008072155234305 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Comedy sand wedge. Writer, performer, fledgling opener, packet submitter. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Sea cows probably never see cows. Location: Chicago City Of Wind · http://qr.net/donni - 9,640 tweets. 839 following. 25,773 followers.

Spent the day doing typical business stuff. Shaking hands in front of globes, mostly.

28 June 2011 Tim Siedell @badbanana [^117.2] https://twitter.com/#!/badbanana/status/85792663818866691 His bio and stats on 13 November 2012: Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire. Location: Nebraska, USA · http://about.me/timsiedell - 14,736 tweets. 270 following. 625,020 followers.

These cats aren't going to herd themselves.

16 August 2013 Trey Darley ‏@treyka [^117.3] https://twitter.com/treyka/status/368495872880807937 Twitter bio: jack-of-all-trades; vehement pragmatist; bit-flipper; voracious inquirer; private pilot; husband; father; philosopher without portfolio. Location: Brussels, Belgium · treyka.net/about/ - 8,115 tweets. 827 following. 873 followers.

More I study the Marine's war in the South Pacific, I believe victories were not due to senior level leadership but rather in spite of it.

13 October 2012 Michael Ross ‏@mrossletters [^117.4] https://twitter.com/mrossletters/status/257164817700364288

His bio: Former Mossad ops officer. Served in NE, Africa and Asia for 11 years, and the Mossad's CT liaison officer to the CIA and FBI for 2.5 years. Pacifists kill me. Location: Vancouver, Canada · http://itunes.apple.com/ca/book/the-volunteer/id415646709?mt=11 701 tweets. 211 following. 301 followers.

The United States entered the Second World War with the fifth largest navy in the world. The US Navy was outnumbered two-to-one in the battle of Midway and several other early engagements in the Pacific War.

If you ask a manager what exactly he does, he'll point out to all those innumerable emails he has been spamming everybody with

12 April 2013 The Bad Doctor ‏@doctoratlarge [^117.5] https://twitter.com/doctoratlarge/status/322930214311182337 Bio: I'm the doctor nobody warned you about. Also, I hate assholes - because I couldn't become one. http://doctoratlarge.wordpress.com/ \- 37,111 tweets. 295 following. 17,522 followers.

Then:

A manager is someone who has somehow convinced the organization that they need to pay him a lot of money to do nothing

12 April 2013 The Bad Doctor ‏@doctoratlarge [^117.6] https://twitter.com/doctoratlarge/status/322933286160719872 Bio: I'm the doctor nobody warned you about. Also, I hate assholes - because I couldn't become one. http://doctoratlarge.wordpress.com/ \- 37,111 tweets. 295 following. 17,522 followers.

" **There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.** " - **Steven Wright**

25 September 2012 Mike Joubert ‏@brandsrock [^117.7] https://twitter.com/brandsrock/status/250640832099663872 His bio and stats on 27 September 2012: rainmakers, matchmakers & caretakers. Location: Cape Town · http://www.brandsrock.com - 6,419 tweets. 404 following. 2,124 followers.

Twitter bio and stats on 24 August 2013 for Steven Wright @StevenWright [^117.8] I was born. When I was 23 I started telling jokes. Then I started going on television and doing films. That's still what I am doing. The end. stevenwright.com. 73 tweets. 12 following. 46,270 followers.

Dale Carnegie's 'How To Win Friends And Influence People' would be better named 'How To Be a Slimy Shallow Manipulative Asshole'

22 September 2013 The Bad Doctor ‏@doctoratlarge [^117.9] https://twitter.com/doctoratlarge/status/381704685859504128 Bio: If you laugh at the world, it hates you. If you take yourself seriously, it laughs at you. I think the former state is preferable. doctoratlarge.wordpress.com. 45,106 tweets. 308 following. 26,588 followers.

Reply:

@doctoratlarge If you'd do that you'd find most ppl are already like that, without they ever reading the newly renamed book.

22 September 2013 Vikas Badal ‏@vbadal [^117.10] https://twitter.com/vbadal/status/381707200038572032 Bio: Happy go lucky! Location: ÜT: 26.910919,75.7947. 6,841 tweets. 487 following. 169 followers.

Hey everyone - great job today.

20 August 2012 Matt Ingebretson ‏@mattingebretson [^117.11] https://twitter.com/mattingebretson/status/237771707778215937 Bio and stats on 28 August 2012: Funnyman. Location: Los Angeles. 4,847 tweets. 431 following. 3,153 followers. His Twitter bio and stats on 8 July 2013: Funnyman | Contributor to @TheOnion. Location: Los Angeles · mattingebretson.com - 5,345 tweets. 514 following. 5,798 followers.

I want to be intimidating but well-liked.

10 January 2012 kdn @kdn13 [^117.12] https://twitter.com/#!/kdn13/status/156915469746573313 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: I have a weakness for split infinitives. Location: Bay Area, CA. 4,724 tweets. 247 following. 19,916 followers.

The humor in kdn's statement is bolstered by her petite stature.

I can respect you without liking you, but I can't like you if I don't respect you.

28 October 2012 Just Lee ‏@Just_Lee_ [^117.13] https://twitter.com/Just_Lee_/status/262764101661495296 Her bio: I have Twitter Tourette Syndrome. Its a real thing. And its incurable. So fuck it. http://favstar.fm/users/just_lee_ - 21,957 tweets. 1,755 following. 10,934 followers. Her bio and stats on 15 April 2014: Lets not make this personal. 781 tweets. 487 following. 2,306 followers.

I like what's underneath that suit of yours: The chair.

15 November 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^117.14] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/269093609859592192 Her bio and stats on 21 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,413 tweets. 1,661 following. 1,766 followers.

The only thing I bring to the table is a chair.

29 December 2010 Clarke Kant @clarkekant [^117.15] https://twitter.com/#!/clarkekant/status/20314553124388865 Bio and stats on 18 November 2012: I'm all for saving the world, just not necessarily the people. Now available on http://Witstream.com ! Location: America-ish · http://favstar.fm/users/clarkekant - 9,997 tweets. 776 following. 29,442 followers.

Superintendent? More like so-so-intendent.

18 September 2011 Anita Doobie @CandyWarhole [^117.16] https://twitter.com/#!/CandyWarhole/status/115446607490715650 Her Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 20 June 2013: Lani @CandyWarhole - Comedy. Idiot. French kisser. Huzzuhhhhhhh. Location: Nashville, TN · bit.ly/qdAnQI - 2,766 tweets. 609 following. 10,474 followers.

There's a moron in every office.

They usually get paid more than you.

9 November 2011 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^117.17] https://twitter.com/#!/Schmoodles/status/134285100786524160 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

Little did he know, but that never stopped him.

24 April 2012 Melissa Marrs ‏@ImaAngryBitch \- https://twitter.com/ImaAngryBitch/status/194951300797046784 Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats for the account the tweet resolved to on 11 July 2013: Scott McGrew @iNusku3 - recovering narcissist. Location: Lubbock, TX · nusku.tumblr.com - 671 tweets. 198 following. 407 followers. From @iNusku3 on 17 June 2013 he tweeted: I'm moving from this account to @iNusku just to be confusing. [https://twitter.com/iNusku3/status/346732196075290624]. Twitter bio and stats on 11 July 2013 for: Scott McGrew @iNusku [^117.18] World Dishwasher Tetris Champion '96. Location: Lubbock, TX. 111 tweets. 502 following. 556 followers.

I'm going to take an extra strength pain killer and hope it works on my supervisor today.

26 September 2011 Sly @slyoung5 [^117.19] https://twitter.com/#!/slyoung5/status/118334635846537216 Her bio stats on 7 November 2012: Straightjackets required. No corners allowed. Love bouncing! Location: Canada · http://favstar.fm/users/slyoung5 - 27,287 tweets. 8,732 following. 14,630 followers.

I laugh at all of my boss's jokes because I have bills to pay.

21 February 2012 ChrisAnna4real @chrisanna4real [^117.20] https://twitter.com/#!/chrisanna4real/status/172069489393930241 Her bio and stats on 27 October 2012: I RT A LOT. My life will make you laugh. I'm drunk a lot. Beer me. Most at home in @chopper4jk's pants and my best girl is @the_martinigirl. IG: chrisanna4real Location: So Cal, that's all you get. · http://favstar.fm/users/chrisanna4real - 31,994 tweets. 9,265 following. 17,404 followers.

Theres nothing more annoying to a person than taking their insult as a compliment

13 April 2012 Rez ‏@ragazzel [^117.21] https://twitter.com/ragazzel/status/190702130649239552 Her bio and stats on 29 April 2013: A happy monkey stuck in a human suit, raised by the sea. Location: Egypt. 1,870 tweets. 404 following. 1,081 followers.

Constructive criticism never seems quite as constructive when it's coming from someone you don't really care for.

24 April 2012 Aspersioncast ‏@Aspersioncast [^117.22] https://twitter.com/#!/Aspersioncast/status/194972113038348288 His bio and stats on 21 November 2012: It's always a pleasure to meet someone with no sense of humour, then when I fuck with their head, it's unbelievably satisfying. Location: Perth Australia. · http://favstar.fm/users/AspersionCast/recent - 18,059 tweets. 17,901 following. 22,264 followers.

"We do things a little different up here" is code for slower and worse.

1 November 2011 Alec Sulkin ‏@thesulk [^117.23] https://twitter.com/#!/thesulk/status/131410387374583808 His bio and stats on 22 November 2012: Breaker of Swift Mustache Hairs. Location: Los Angeles. 6,748 tweets. 836 following. 481,460 followers.

I asked for an explanation, not an excuse.

13 March 2012 the_moonface @the_moonface [^117.24] https://twitter.com/#!/the_moonface/status/179587546873995264 His bio and stats on 18 March 2013: There should be a cleverly written paragraph about how unique and special I am written here. Same username for kik and Instagram. Location: A small body in orbit. 2,281 tweets. 2,716 following. 12,926 followers.

I should be hearing "I'm sorry", but instead I get analogies and excuses.

23 June 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^117.25] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/216779828421066752 His bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,477 tweets. 3,154 following. 9,233 followers.

I'll stop making excuses when other people start taking responsibility for my actions.

9 June 2011 SlappNuttz @SlappNuttz [^117.26] https://twitter.com/#!/SlappNuttz/status/78911799893831680 Twitter bio and stats on 16 July 2013: RIP SlappNuttz -- Just making sure no asshat takes this username and uses it for good. 0 tweets. 0 following. 1 follower.

I'm all your fault.

20 September 2012 Junkyardigan ‏@junkyardigan [^117.27] https://twitter.com/junkyardigan/status/248995737311014913

His bio: The biggest pile of shit you ever saw. 2,720 tweets. 1,672 following. 1,949 followers.

**My coworker is such an idiot that she keeps holding 25-person meetings to determine why her project is over budget. Hello!** ‪

#KCS

16 July 2012 Meeting Boy ‏@MeetingBoy [^117.28] https://twitter.com/MeetingBoy/status/224874746112770049 Twitter bio and stats on 8 August 2013: I hate my job. Location: across the conference table · meetingboy.com/posts - 6,123 tweets. 86,778 following. 148,037 followers.

"People who enjoy meetings should not be in charge of anything." -Thomas Sowell

18 March 2013 Kirsty Ballard ‏@KBellSays [^117.29] https://twitter.com/KBellSays/status/313550788398034944 Her bio: A wise woman once told me- Never trust anyone who has a 'stache, can't hold their liquor and never swears. So far, so good! *All opinions are my own | Ogilvian. Location: Johannesburg, South Africa · http://flashingformoney.wordpress.com/ - 10,359 tweets. 1,946 following. 932 followers.

Thomas Sowell [^117.30] No Twitter ID found on 18 March 2013. His bio that day on his website http://tsowell.com/ - Rose and Milton Friedman Senior Fellow, The Hoover Institution, Stanford University, Stanford, California 94305.

I make bad decisions look easy.

7 November 11 Lint Trap @asshat33 [^117.31] https://twitter.com/#!/asshat33/status/133662880078888960 No account found with this ID on 19 February 2013.

I hate decisions.

19 September 2012 Malak Mansour ‏@xMalakMansourx [^117.32] https://twitter.com/xMalakMansourx/status/248218628397338624 Her bio and stats on 27 November 2012: A fictional character created by your perception. 3,255 tweets. 280 following. 503 followers.

I like people who are decisive. Or not. I don't know.

18 September 2012 Lisa Rahmat ‏@lisarahmat [^117.33] https://twitter.com/lisarahmat/status/248030060324483073 Her bio and stats on 25 February 2013: Crazy panda lady who likes looking out windows and things. Location: Singapore · lisarahmat.tumblr.com - 2,341 tweets. 255 following. 3,643 followers.

i can't remember the last time something was my fault

19 July 2012 The Blowout ‏@theblowout [^117.34] https://twitter.com/theblowout/status/225960240846352384 Her Twitter bio and stats on 20 July 2013: is it too early to start drinking 3 hours ago? Location: raleigh, north carolina · about.me/theblowout - 30,827 tweets. 634 following. 10,757 followers.

When in doubt, make someone else do it, and see what happens.

27 May 2012 Mediocre Marvel ‏@EliseRose5 [^117.35] https://twitter.com/EliseRose5/status/206832041583575041 Her Twitter bio and stats on 24 August 2013: Mediocrity at its Finest. Location: Cincinnati, Ohio · favstar.fm/users/eliserose5 - 70,107 tweets. 9,378 following. 15,373 followers.

What do you call a guy who passed the bar exam but doesn't know you can't put a paper plate in a toaster oven? I call him "boss".

7 June 2010 Mr. Havercamp @Yidago [^117.36] https://twitter.com/Yidago/status/15646457717 No Twitter account with this ID found on 24 August 2013.

"We don't think you're dumb, we're just annoyed by your inefficiency."

5 November 2010 rands ‏@rands [^117.37] https://twitter.com/#!/rands/status/675391429672960 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 8,540 tweets. 499 following. 27,448 followers.

Being an ass kisser can get you a lot of things in life...except respect.

12 March 2011 Joel Ingersoll ‏@FlyoverJoel [^117.38] https://twitter.com/flyoverjoel/status/46802145202274304 His bio and stats on 10 December 2012: I get up and I put on pants. Location: Saint Paul, MN · http://favstar.fm/users/FlyoverJoel/most_retweeted - 9,975 tweets. 540 following. 6,314 followers.

I get my nepotism from my dad.

31 August 2009 JT @InSoOutSo [^117.39] http://twitter.com/InSoOutSo/status/3672137032 His Twitter bio and stats on 15 June 2013: Dicen que soy aburrido... Location: Columbus, OH · favrd.com - 11,704 tweets. 324 following. 3,474 followers.

The boss just chided us that "there's no I in team", then took all the credit when the CEO stopped by.

12 April 2012 Meeting Boy ‏@MeetingBoy [^117.40] https://twitter.com/#!/MeetingBoy/status/190476834226446337 Twitter bio and stats on 8 August 2013: I hate my job. Location: across the conference table · meetingboy.com/posts - 6,123 tweets. 86,778 following. 148,037 followers.

There is no "I" in "Team", but there are four in "Platitude-Quoting Idiot".

19 January 2011 raj @rraajj4u - https://twitter.com/#!/rraajj4u/status/27756892151353344 His Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 10 August 2013: Raj @CorruptConcrete [^117.41] Concrete,steel,Duck tales,beer,music,Politics, Films, Photographs, NaMo, ChelseaFC,Jainism. Location: Bombay south. 20,815 tweets. 407 following. 396 followers.

There's no 'i' in 'team' but there's 7 of them in... "Everyone in this office is an idiot & I work better by myself."

5 June 2012 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^117.42] https://twitter.com/schmoodles/status/210044523986948099 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

TEIAM - problem solved fuckers

19 March 2011 Hebrew Hammer @HairyJew4Life [^117.43] https://twitter.com/#!/HairyJew4Life/status/49124468680949760 His bio and stats on 16 November 2012: Sarcastic asshole that is hairier and jewier than you are. All the girls say that because I'm jewish that I'm cheap and have a small dick. Location: Dead on. http://favstar.fm/users/HairyJew4Life/recent - 5,931 tweets. 954 following. 11,137 followers.

My boss went home sick yesterday. If you are wondering how much I dislike her, I would gladly do all of her work if she stayed home again.

30 October 2012 @Kayditty - https://twitter.com/Kayditty/status/263244729020452864 Her bio: Filter free zone. I also occasionally like to post pictures of my cat. If that bothers you, I really don't care.18+ http://favstar.fm/users/Kayditty/recent - Location: NC · http://favstar.fm/users/Kayditty/most_favorited - 13,862 tweets. 3,955 following. 4,847 followers. Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 10 August 2013: K-Ditty @_kayditty [^117.44] A picture may be worth a thousand words but if I use the right words the mind can make a thousand pictures. Location: NC · http://favstar.fm/users/_kayditty/tweets_of_the_day - 27,942 tweets. 6,815 following. 10,407 followers.

I wonder if my boss was more fun and carefree in his youth, when his name was Anakin.

18 March 2010 Tiffany @TiffanyJMoore [^117.45] http://twitter.com/TiffanyJMoore/status/10683280909 Her Twitter bio and stats on 10 August 2013, when her most recent tweet was dated 12 February 2012: Misunderstood Southern belle. Location: Georgia · tiffanyjmoore.tumblr.com. 2,161 tweets. 287 following. 3,269 followers.

Anakin grew up to become Darth Vader.

Me: I'm excellent at my job. You're lucky to have me.

Boss: Why are you waving your hand?

Me: These aren't the droids you're looking for.

28 September 2011 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^117.46] https://twitter.com/#!/Schmoodles/status/119136719382650880 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

I love my boss to death.

That's why he's in the trunk of my car.

19 June 2009 Josh Hopkins @thedayhascome [^117.47] on Favrd. URL lost. His Twitter bio and stats on 10 August 2013 when his most recent tweet was dated 26 February 2013: father. husband. web designer. geek. thinker. doer. founder of http://40horse.com – Location: Indianapolis, IN · thedayhasco.me - 3,974 tweets. 465 following. 9,012 followers.

Where can I find a mug that says, "World's 4,238,957th Best Boss?"

18 October 2011 Mary Charlene @IamEnidColeslaw [^117.48] https://twitter.com/#!/IamEnidColeslaw/status/126438713667497984 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: the Garbage Pail Kids version of Zooey Deschanel. Location: Chicago. 13,504 tweets. 4,054 following. 84,168 followers.

My co-worker: I don't understand why they don't make me a manager. I'm overweight and I have no fashion sense or people skills.

26 November 2008 delfie @delfie [^117.49] http://twitter.com/delfie/status/1024700693 Her Twitter bio and stats on 5 March 2013: Despite all evidence to the contrary, I'm a nice chick, just your average, bulletproof chick. 448 tweets. 93 following. 863 followers. Her most recent tweet as of 31 March 2014 was from 23 January 2010.

the way my boss spends 2 hrs saying the same thing and repeats it 50 times in the next 2 days tells me he'd do fucking great on twitter.

24 May 2012 Sweet P ‏@preawsaurus [^117.50] https://twitter.com/preawsaurus/status/205585612928065536 Her bio and stats on 8 November 2012: i am nice. at least that's the way i perceive myself. i could be wrong. Location: Tellus · http://favstar.fm/users/preawsaurus/most_retweeted - 12,197 tweets. 910 following. 8,090 followers.

If you find yourself insightful and extraordinary, you can be certain that you are the only one who does.

22 July 2012 tackie_jackie ‏@tackie_jackie [^117.51] https://twitter.com/tackie_jackie/status/227094497325117441 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: Took a weird-ass turn and ended up here. 8,854 tweets. 776 following. 9,369 followers.

" **Type A" people are the only ones who care if you're Type A.**

7 November 2012 Gabriel '❑' Cubbage ‏@Remiel [^117.52] https://twitter.com/Remiel/status/266294085021728768 Bio and stats on 5 January 2013: Gabriel '❑' Cubbage @Remiel Remiel (.org): A 60x60px red square. Gabriel Cubbage: Director of 67 Robots. Most firms have 66 robots. We have 67. So call us. Ask for Gabriel or Monocle Bot. Location: Perma-nomad; currently Hawaii. · http://67Robots.com 3,554 tweets. 127 following. 4,045 followers.

"Perfect confidence is given to the less talented as a consolation prize."

\--Robert Hughes

7 August 2012 midtowngirl ‏@_Midtowngirl [^117.53] https://twitter.com/_Midtowngirl/status/233004569800634369 Bio and stats on 16 March 2013: Investment Banking.100% Nerd. @Columbia alumni. Native NY'er (Born & Raised on the Upper West Side) with typical cynical outlook on life only true NYers have. Location: Midtown, Manhattan. 11,091 tweets. 179 following. 499 followers.

Tweeted the day after the death of Robert Studley Forrest Hughes [^117.54], an Australian art critic, author and producer of TV documentaries. The full quote: "The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is given to the less talented as a consolation prize."

Confident people are very often just wrong people.

27 June 2012 Alex Baze ‏@bazecraze [^117.55] https://twitter.com/bazecraze/status/218154981344292865 His bio and stats on 23 November 2012: Cynical shell. Soft, chewy center. Location: NYC. 5,989 tweets. 535 following. 52,032 followers.

When you say "I'm pragmatic", I hear "I don't understand the principles involved."

(With apologies to @rands.)

18 August 2012 glyph ‏@glyph [^117.56] https://twitter.com/glyph/status/236920919031947264 Bio: Hi. I'm glyph, a guy who sometimes writes programs. 1,596 tweets. 167 following. 952 followers. This tweet follows a format popularized by @rands.

If you look close enough you fail to see the whole picture.

20 August 2012 Bitch_In_Me ‏@BitchingMe [^117.57] https://twitter.com/bitchingme/status/237805434482864128 Her bio and stats on 13 January 2013: If you can't handle bitches, fuck off. My DM has autodelete function. In love with my Reality so don't bother. Location: Somewhere but not there · http://favstar.fm/users/BitchingMe/recent - 15,803 tweets. 9,647 following. 10,255 followers.

Petty is as petty does.

10 August 2012 Rameeza Nizami ‏@RameezaNizami [^117.58] https://twitter.com/RameezaNizami/status/233974383230742528 Her bio and stats on 12 November 2012: Unauthorized, unofficial, etc etc. This isn't even me, really. Location: In an office, most of the time. 5,010 tweets. 890 following. 3,331 followers.

"With great power comes great micromanaging."

1 February 2014 Matt Stancliff ‏@mattsta [^117.59] https://twitter.com/mattsta/status/429834515205603328 Bio and stats on 26 February 2014: A full time homosexual extremist and part time computational neuroscientist. Available for parties and corporate events. Location: New York, NY 11109 · matt.io - 7,410 tweets. 72 following. 322 followers.

Please, please, please stop trying to micromanage what you don't understand!

7 December 2010 Meeting Boy ‏@MeetingBoy [^117.60] https://twitter.com/#!/MeetingBoy/status/12160995791208448 Twitter bio and stats on 8 August 2013: I hate my job. Location: across the conference table · meetingboy.com/posts - 6,123 tweets. 86,778 following. 148,037 followers.

Don't call me a "control freak." I prefer to be called "normal person surrounded by people doing it wrong."

29 September 2012 · rachel lichtman ‏@DJRotaryRachel [^117.61] https://twitter.com/DJRotaryRachel/status/252171824513810433 Her bio and stats on 15 October 2012: my windsong stays on your mind. Location: Los Angeles. 3,398 tweets. 903 following. 17,551 followers.

The best part about overreactive control freaks is how much they hate themselves.

Really saves me a lot of time and energy.

4 September 2011 bllix ‏@bllix [^117.62] https://twitter.com/#!/bllix/status/110330222913650688 Her bio and stats on 30 October 2012: Electronic music producer/knob-twiddler, MYLF, Multilingual programmer, Attorney at LOL, Thug 4 Life, Laundromancer, METAL AS FVCK. Damn, Gina. Location: Portland, OR. · http://bllix.tumblr.com - 12,746 tweets. 501 following. 4,516 followers.

Never let passion for improvement make you a critical, negative, nitpicker.

5 October 2012 Dan Rockwell ‏@Leadershipfreak [^117.63] https://twitter.com/Leadershipfreak/status/254237625471365120 His bio and stats on 16 October 2012: My dream is when people see me they think that guy made my life better. Presenter, author, MBA, happily married. Location: USA · http://www.leadershipfreak.wordpress.com - 24,883 tweets. 111,734 following. 124,371 followers.

**Hey everyone, check it out, my boss is contributing to the business world by helping coin the term "nano-manage"**.

21 February 2013 Chroma Geddon ‏@ChromaGeddon [^117.64] https://twitter.com/ChromaGeddon/status/304735647535607808 Bio and stats on 21 April 2013: It's ~Dr~ Geddon, if you don't mind. I earned my title from an accredited online college of mixology that I hacked. Location: San Diego, CA · http://iwav.es/setmusicfree - 8,314 tweets. 463 following. 840 followers.

My boss keeps micromanaging me so I put his boss' name in his spam filter.

That will take some of the heat off of me for a few days.

21 July 2009 RoughDiction @roughdiction [^117.65] https://twitter.com/#!/roughdiction/status/2760321776 Twitter bio and stats on 10 August 2013: Show me on this Internet where I give a shit. Location: NYC. 4,936 tweets. 3 following. 9,039 followers.

I can't wait to get promoted to my level of incompetence.

22 June 2011 Sputnik Sweetheart @Verlieren [^117.66] https://twitter.com/#!/Verlieren/status/83688978745794560 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: Creator of Google, previously psychotic person. Not to make you fall in love with me but I probably don't have AIDS. http://tinyurl.com/verinstagram - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001856/ - 11,012 tweets. 548 following. 14,712 followers.

"I have a special ability to read words."

"You should be our project manager."

#apprentice

9 May 2012 Richard Neville @RichNeville [^117.67] https://twitter.com/#!/RichNeville/status/200316379801460739 Twitter bio and stats on 10 August 2013: Still holding out the hope that my life up to now has just been Derren Brown trying to teach me an important lesson. catbinfever.com · harpurger.com. 47,398 tweets. 942 following. 6,502 followers.

when I get to the top of the pile I will kick the ladder over in the true spirit of piles

1 May 2012 Abbey 5¢ ‏@everylilthing [^117.68] https://twitter.com/#!/everylilthing/status/197550499011108864 Her screen name, bio and stats on 22 March 2013: Hushpuppy 5¢ @everylilthing - Mary's dress waves. Location: los angeles. 8,644 tweets. 712 following. 1,486 followers.

BOSS: "Wow! You're a real go-getter!"

Translation: "You are a threat to me. You'll be fired the next time we so much as run out of coffee."

11 May 2012 Vasculitis Vixen ‏@MistookMistake [^117.69] https://twitter.com/#!/MistookMistake/status/201056263990296576 Her bio and stats on 7 March 2013: When I'm not busy losing 15lbs. so I can fit behind my fridge to get an M&M, I'm tweeting jokes, writing a book, & speaking about my cause: beating Vasculitis. Location: Dallas, Texas · favstar.fm/users/MistookMistake - 2,950 tweets. 2,216 following. 11,058 followers.

A clueless man who has worked at my company for 4 months asked me, today, if I was a "hacker" right before he fired me.

Friday, 14 December 2012 Jason ‏@cybertheorist [^117.70] https://twitter.com/cybertheorist/status/279826330881753088 Bio: Tech, Theory & Politics in the Digital Age. Location: Washington, DC. 11,329 tweets. 314 following. 2,085 followers.

You are not your job.

You are how you treat people.

11 January 2014 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^117.71] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/422199941050552320 Bio and stats on 12 January 2014: Writer on politics, economy, media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com - 16,374 tweets. 1,025 following. 17,311 followers.

Loud posh man is explaining to ticket collector that he doesn't have a ticket as his secretary must have forgotten to give it to him.

13 January 2012 Vivienne Clore @Vivienneclore [^117.72] https://twitter.com/#!/Vivienneclore/status/157821878956859393 She was in the UK. Twitter bio and stats on 10 August 2013: nose to the agenting grindstone, fingers to the twittering keyboard with varied results. vivienneclore.com - 29,488 tweets. 758 following. 8,479 followers.

Rather than allowing a bunch of little employee birthday parties throughout the year, I will permit one big group celebration for mine.

30 June 2011 Jocelyn TestesHarder @FilthyRichmond [^117.73] https://twitter.com/#!/FilthyRichmond/status/86446302866571264 Twitter bio and stats on 5 March 2013 for Jocelyn Plums @FilthyRichmond - Kiss Mommy's cold sore and make it better! #RVA http://FilthyRichmond.com Location: Richmond, VA · http://favstar.fm/users/filthyrichmond/recent - 9,914 tweets. 3,384 following. 65,783 followers.

Watching workers watch their workers work is horribly exhausting.

25 May 2011 dropdeadchris @dropdeadchris [^117.74] https://twitter.com/#!/dropdeadchris/status/73526750495260672 - On 27 July 2013 this tweet was found to have been deleted and the account was found to have experienced a change of control. The new account holder's Twitter bio and stats on 27 July 2013: Christopher Ruiz @DropDeadChris - hey im Chris. Skating is my passion. Oliver Sykes is my idol. @drellarose is the love of my life. 3 – Location: CA. 76 tweets. 32 following. 15 followers.

**When the going gets tough, the tough watch upper management make bad decisions.** # **literalwisdom**

8 July 2009 SeoulBrother @SeoulBrother [^117.75] on Favrd. https://twitter.com/SeoulBrother/status/2536048050 Twitter bio and stats on 12 June 2013: Half Seoul. All Brother. Part of the http://AmericanDrink.net crew. Location: Tacoma · tumblr.seoulbrother.com - 5,526 tweets. 234 following. 5,934 followers.

I love how the people who are quickest to demand respect are the ones least likely to give it to anyone else.

30 July 2011 Cindy K ‏@Kraz60 [^117.76] https://twitter.com/Kraz60/status/97506843282251776 Her bio and stats on 23 October 2012: Things I wonder about. http://kraz60.tumblr.com - 13,403 tweets. 1,564 following. 2,485 followers.

I hate when people don't believe me. Especially if I'm lying.

22 May 2012 Nicole Betz ‏@TomHanksIsHot [^117.77] https://twitter.com/TomHanksIsHot/status/205056961018994688 Her Twitter bio and stats on 12 June 2013: I laugh at jokes I understand. Location: Los Angeles, CA · about.me/nicolebetz - 8,327 tweets. 908 following. 9,664 followers.

I think I am hesitant and indecisive but I don't think so.

3 March 2012 Ella Capparella ‏@RamblingMachine [^117.78] https://twitter.com/ramblingmachine/status/175853973700485120 Her bio and stats on 25 April 2013: Extraterrestrial carbon-based unit planted on Earth to outsmart you. First Jupiterian miss universe. I can teleport, talk to aliens & twinkle like a little star. Location: Red Spot, Jupiter. · http://favstar.fm/users/RamblingMachine - 25,983 tweets. 7,191 following. 11,361 followers. On 20 April 2013 she posted a twittercide note: http://crossingthevoid.tumblr.com/post/48467799778/goodbye-forever-beautiful-tweeps

If shredding evidence is wrong, I don't want to be right.

26 September 2011 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^117.79] https://twitter.com/#!/Schmoodles/status/118330842685775872 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

Checking voicemail, my favorite time of the day. Not only can I check them all on speaker but I can bitch about how many I have too!!

3 August 2011 The Office Prick ‏@theofficeprick [^117.80] https://twitter.com/theofficeprick/status/98836455098560513 Twitter bio and stats on 26 October 2013: Documenting and chronicling the daily actions of The Office Prick. Yes, these are true. 112 tweets. 48 following. 61 followers. On 26 October 2013, this account's most recent tweet was dated 13 January 2012.

I'm walking around work with a condescending sense of entitlement while criticising everyone & contributing nothing...Like a boss!

18 April 2012 Aristotles @AristotlesNZ [^117.81] https://twitter.com/#!/AristotlesNZ/status/192821537416548354 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: My avi is one of 3 reasons why I live and why I drink. Father of 3 little boys. Husband of 1 Wife. Location: Under the Down Under · http://favstar.fm/users/AristotlesNZ/recent - 13,213 tweets. 2,378 following. 11,033 followers.

Condescension. Awesome!

16 October 2012 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^117.82] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/258422224955006976 Bio: i was born 'n stuff. Location: Hanging out in my garage. http://favstar.fm/users/RobotThomas - 30,787 tweets. 5,394 following. 5,029 followers.

Listen very carefully and I will explain what condescension means.

30 June 2010 Crab @Blue_Crab [^117.83] https://twitter.com/Blue_Crab/status/17441124507 Bio and stats on 24 March 2013: Stronger than ativan and more powerful than chocolate. Send me an email at google – BlueCrabsEmail – Location: South · http://favstar.fm/users/Blue_Crab - 3,473 tweets. 381 following. 2,174 followers.

Asking for my opinion after you've already made up your mind is like asking if I'm smart like you or an asshole.

29 July 2011 Shari Vanderwerf @shariv67 [^117.84] https://twitter.com/#!/shariv67/status/96991124819947520 Her bio and stats on 27 October 2012: My work has appeared on Comedy Central, Cartoon Network, VH1, E!, film festivals and major publications. Comedian & Writer · http://www.sharivanderwerf.com - 11,392 tweets. 3,551 following. 24,593 followers.

I'm open to critism as long as I agree with it

10 September 2012 Stings ‏@thatstings [^117.85] https://twitter.com/thatstings/status/245325982653878272 His stats on 12 November 2012: The Peanut Gallery · http://favstar.fm/users/thatstings/recent - 8,460 tweets. 3,001 following. 9,475 followers.

It's not a meeting if you do all the talking, boss; that's called a lecture.

21 August 2012 Meeting Boy ‏@MeetingBoy [^117.86] https://twitter.com/MeetingBoy/status/237934352569364480 Twitter bio and stats on 8 August 2013: I hate my job. Location: across the conference table · meetingboy.com/posts - 6,123 tweets. 86,778 following. 148,037 followers.

Yes you are entitled to my opinion.

5 October 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^117.87] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/254455785281695745 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,223 tweets. 1,918 following. 1,773 followers.

People with strong/firm convictions/opinions are the first to try and silence others.

I'm absolutely certain of this.

8 March 2014 Rock God ‏@redpawn3 [^117.88] https://twitter.com/redpawn3/status/442404019252654080 Bio: http://favstar.fm/users/redpawn3/recent - 97,091 tweets. 4,665 following. 6,900 followers.

" **A wolf does not concern herself with the opinions of sheep**."

5 August 2012 levinandkitteh ‏@weareourdesires [^117.89] https://twitter.com/weareourdesires/status/232111167546470400 Her bio and stats on 10 August 2012: the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones that are mad to live. Location: In transit. 4,345 tweets. 337 following. 203 followers. On 24 October 2012 her account was found to have disappeared.

I play this game where I don't listen to anybody and get angry when people don't listen to me.

13 August 2012 Muath ‏@Muath_tu [^117.90] https://twitter.com/Muath_tu/status/235152855038844929 His location and stats on 8 December 2012: Saudi Arabia - Jeddah · http://favstar.fm/users/Muath_tu/recent - 5,671 tweets. 488 following. 6,523 followers. No Twitter account with this ID found on 7 August 2013.

My favourite pastimes are pointing out your faults and ignoring mine.

26 August 2012 captain sidcup ‏@captainsidcup [^117.91] https://twitter.com/captainsidcup/status/239814992810106881 His bio: The bi-polar musings of a rampant, unrepentant narcissist. No DM's. Location: The Naughty Step. Kent. UK. 20,730 tweets. 1,068 following. 1,461 followers.

" **I'm a good person" - horrible people**

14 December 2013 Peaux ‏@NotJPo [^117.92] https://twitter.com/NotJPo/status/411967525711527936 Her Twitter bio and stats on 15 December 2013: I have PMS. 16,932 tweets. 2,187 following. 26,140 followers.

i'm not judgmental

i'm just right all the time

13 November 2012 lauren ashley bishop ‏@sbellelauren [^117.93] https://twitter.com/sbellelauren/status/268415459714551808 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: i'm a comedian from arkansas. i live in LA. but i comede all over. witstream.com please & thank you. www.favstar.fm/users/sbellelauren - Location: hollywood · http://laurenashleybishop.tumblr.com/ - 9,411 tweets. 986 following. 31,379 followers.

I thought I was wrong, once, but I was mistaken.

26 July 2012 Pink Cigarette ‏@MrsMikePatton [^117.94] https://twitter.com/MrsMikePatton/status/228551570046976000 Her Twitter bio and stats on 10 August 2013: Mike Patton's sex slave. Location: Philadelphia · http://favstar.fm/users/MrsMikePatton/recent - 18,203 tweets. 1,594 following. 3,813 followers.

Ask me about my narcissism!

6 June 2012 Aristotles ‏@AristotlesNZ [^117.95] https://twitter.com/aristotlesnz/status/210617194906783745

His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: My avi is one of 3 reasons why I live and why I drink. Father of 3 little boys. Husband of 1 Wife. Location: Under the Down Under · http://favstar.fm/users/AristotlesNZ/recent - 13,213 tweets. 2,378 following. 11,033 followers.

Tweeted during a meeting:

Men make jovial phone calls to mask embarrassment when someone shows them down.

Laugh to show they have power. Use jargon.

10 January 2013 Mahim Maher ‏@Mahim_Maher [^117.96] https://twitter.com/Mahim_Maher/status/289291357133082624 Bio: I blog for the Jewish Journal, work as a Karachi city editor at The Express Tribune, study urban growth, and love cop-talk. Location: Karachi, Pakistan · http://tribune.com.pk - 7,749 tweets. 219 following. 5,153 followers.

Mahim Maher was in a meeting with election officials and officers from the police and military. At the meeting, plans were announced for conducting elections that were, as anticipated, marred by violence and ballot-box stuffing.

Weak men have loud egos.

31 December 2013 Jae Stoner ‏@JaeMar68 [^117.97] https://twitter.com/JaeMar68/status/418214049923338240 Bio: Comedian, but not on purpose. Under 18? Get a signed permission slip from your parents. Location: Place of Evil Ghosts, NJ. 9,229 tweets. 1,333 following. 1,003 followers,

a world dominated by overgrown boy-men

29 December 2013 NYT Minus Context ‏@NYTMinusContext [^117.98] https://twitter.com/NYTMinusContext/status/417457267265769472 Bio and stats on 17 January 2014: All Tweets Verbatim From New York Times Content. Not Affiliated with New York Times. Follow @NYTPlusContext for context. NYTMinusContext@gmail.com - 1,244 tweets. 911 following. 10.854 followers.

The New York Times @nytimes [^117.99] Twitter bio and stats on 17 January 2014: Where the conversation begins. Follow for breaking news, special reports, http://NYTimes.com homepage links and RTs of our journalists. Location: New York City · nytimes.com -124,082 tweets. 854 following. 10,681,262 followers.

I have no idea how all women aren't repulsed by businessmen.

3 May 2011 Will Phillips @TheThryll [^117.100] https://twitter.com/#!/TheThryll/status/65524444055076864 His bio and stats on 17 January 2013: Handsome. Unemployed. Handsome. Ken Burns enthusiast. Location: Parts Unknown. 3,304 tweets. 742 following. 15,869 followers. His profile photo showed a "dude" wearing a bandana around his forehead.

Some women have had enough. Chinki Sinha for example:

" **I was tired of being rejected by men who thought their success validated everything they said**."

http://www.openthemagazine.com/article/true-life/match-not-found by Chinki Sinha

8 November 2012 https://twitter.com/aem76us/status/266770302632071169

Points to an article by Chinki Sinha about abandoning her search for a suitable husband:

"Match Not Found - Confessions of a serial matrimony seeker," by Chinki Sinha, Open Magazine, 22 September 2012,  http://www.openthemagazine.com/article/true-life/match-not-found

Chinki Sinha @chinkis [^117.101] Twitter bio and stats on 9 November 2012: Location: Delhi · http://chinkisinha.blogspot.com - 100 tweets. 123 following. 147 followers.

Open Magazine @Openthemag [^117.102] Twitter bio and stats on 9 November 2012: The Return of Magazine Journalism. Location: In over 30 cities across India · http://www.openthemagazine.com/ - 1,670 tweets. 228 following. 12,598 followers.

Yes boss, please tell me more about your high IQ. This is indeed some fascinating shit, and in no way makes you seem like a twat.

21 September 2011 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^117.103] https://twitter.com/#!/Schmoodles/status/116506504596688897 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

A good way to call yourself stupid is to call yourself smart.

29 April 2012 snarkarella ‏@snarkarella [^117.104] https://twitter.com/snarkarella/status/196555383966412801 Her bio and stats on 17 December 2012: i like snacking on ice cubes. 3,547 tweets. 389 following. 1,594 followers.

I am clearly no match for your level of stupid.

1 October 2012 Zombie, Interrupted ‏@Not_Zombie_Prey [^117.105] https://twitter.com/Not_Zombie_Prey/status/252852368067158016 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Get the fuck over yourself. Location: ☣state of confusion☣ · http://favstar.fm/users/Not_Zombie_Prey/recent - 25,215 tweets. 6,915 following. 10,902 followers.

People say I'm egotistical, but enough about them.

15 December 2010 Ben ‏@Ben_Maguire [^117.106] https://twitter.com/Ben_Maguire/status/15100075625676802 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I do things for the telebox, Dr Pepper Drinker. I own a Beano album from 1982 and I'm not mothers favourite. Location: London Town · http://favstar.fm/users/Ben_Maguire/recent - 2,383 tweets. 249 following. 1,278 followers.

Being a pretentious asshole means a lot to me.

26 October 2012 christine ‏@thesupergrobi [^117.107] https://twitter.com/thesupergrobi/status/261972496964792320 Her bio and stats on 28 November 2012: Ich bin eine Lady. Location: all those old fashioned places · http://favstar.fm/users/thesupergrobi \- 7,445 tweets. 644 following. 5,067 followers.

Nobody likes pretentiousness. I believe it was the esteemed medieval philosopher and theologian Nicolas d'Autrécourt who first opined that.

24 February 2014 Naomi Irene Rohatyn ‏@omibaloney [^117.108] https://twitter.com/omibaloney/status/438035628437958656 Her Twitter bio and stats on 3 April 2014: A California Yankee turned King Arthur's Court Jester. Location: Los Angeles, CA. pundumpster.tumblr.com. 1,071 tweets. 1,290 tweets. 877 following. 2,781 followers.

I don't want to brag but I'm a narcissist.

21 June 2012 Steve Mieczkowski ‏@IGotsSmarts [^117.109] https://twitter.com/IGotsSmarts/status/216032979653369856 His Twitter bio and stats on 20 October 2012: I only have 26 letters to work with. Don't expect any miracles. Location: Albuquerque, NM http://favstar.fm/users/IGotsSmarts/recent - 4,327 tweets. 793 following. 9,276 followers.

wildly narcissistic

2 January 2014 NYT Minus Context ‏@NYTMinusContext [^117.110] https://twitter.com/NYTMinusContext/status/418978188728217600 Bio and stats on 17 January 2014: All Tweets Verbatim From New York Times Content. Not Affiliated with New York Times. Follow @NYTPlusContext for context. NYTMinusContext@gmail.com - 1,244 tweets. 911 following. 10.854 followers.

The New York Times @nytimes [^117.111] Twitter bio and stats on 17 January 2014: Where the conversation begins. Follow for breaking news, special reports, http://NYTimes.com homepage links and RTs of our journalists. Location: New York City · nytimes.com -124,082 tweets. 854 following. 10,681,262 followers.

"i i i i i i i i i i i i". -the contents of a narcissist's vocabulary.

24 January 2013 snarkarella ‏@snarkarella [^117.112] https://twitter.com/snarkarella/status/294448201946251264 Her Twitter bio and stats on 10 August 2013: i like snacking on ice cubes. @allerakrans on IG. 4,065 tweets. 370 following. 1,555 followers.

Give ONE person an actual size cardboard cutout of yourself for their birthday and suddenly you're a "narcissist."

16 July 2012 Big Gay Ferris Wheel ‏@SodomyClown [^117.113] https://twitter.com/SodomyClown/status/224875377955319808 Her Twitter bio and stats on 21 August 2013: I like chicken I like liver Meow Mix Meow Mix please deliver. Location: A Skittle. 35,784 tweets. 1,666 following. 15,207 followers.

I'm not a megalomaniac.

I'm THE megalomaniac.

1 July 2013 Vesta Tot ‏@VestaTot [^117.114] https://twitter.com/VestaTot/status/351793134767837185 Her Twitter bio and stats on 2 July 2013: Who threw that? Location: Between Riddle and Ricochet · favstar.fm/users/VestaTot - 17,298 tweets. 3,215 following. 3,205 followers.

I don't really need this job. I'm here because I like to play with people's careers like a cat with a dying mouse.

13 July 2011 Jocelyn TestesHarder @FilthyRichmond [^117.115] https://twitter.com/#!/FilthyRichmond/status/91196061170941952 Twitter bio and stats on 5 March 2013 for Jocelyn Plums @FilthyRichmond - Kiss Mommy's cold sore and make it better! #RVA http://FilthyRichmond.com Location: Richmond, VA · http://favstar.fm/users/filthyrichmond/recent - 9,914 tweets. 3,384 following. 65,783 followers.

New research shows that people my age are completely unhirable under any circumstances whatsoever. Someone's getting their ass kissed today!

16 May 12 Buck ‏@buck4itt [^117.116] https://twitter.com/buck4itt/status/202806665249165312 His bio and stats on 5 January 2013: American Humorist in a van wearing loose fitting shorts and holding a puppy. http://favstar.fm/users/buck4itt http://buck4itt.tumblr.com/ Under 18? Go away. Location: Northern California. 4,296 tweets. 9,308 following. 15,550 followers.

Today I must decide the fate of my employees, so I thought it best to come in hungover and slightly pissed off.

11 January 2012 Jocelyn Plums @FilthyRichmond [^117.117] https://twitter.com/#!/FilthyRichmond/status/157070646239703040 Twitter bio and stats on 5 March 2013 for Jocelyn Plums @FilthyRichmond - Kiss Mommy's cold sore and make it better! #RVA http://FilthyRichmond.com Location: Richmond, VA · http://favstar.fm/users/filthyrichmond/recent - 9,914 tweets. 3,384 following. 65,783 followers.

In light of recent layoffs, I will be dropping empty cardboard boxes next to random desks just to freak people out.

24 June 2011 Jocelyn TestesHarder @FilthyRichmond [^117.118] https://twitter.com/#!/FilthyRichmond/status/84338292564295680 Twitter bio and stats on 5 March 2013 for Jocelyn Plums @FilthyRichmond - Kiss Mommy's cold sore and make it better! #RVA http://FilthyRichmond.com Location: Richmond, VA · http://favstar.fm/users/filthyrichmond/recent - 9,914 tweets. 3,384 following. 65,783 followers.

Keeping a list of your failures, like a wife.

12 December 2010 The Bosha ‏@TheBosha [^117.119] https://twitter.com/#!/TheBosha/status/14192902880100352 His bio and stats on 16 November 2012: Get off my lawn. Location: Near the Tannhäuser Gate · http://www.witstream.com/#jim_bosha - 13,149 tweets. 476 following. 11,858 followers.

Don't be ridiculous, winning isn't the only thing that matters to me.

It's also important that others fail miserably.

3 December 2008 delfie @delfie [^117.120] on Favrd. URL lost. Her Twitter bio and stats on 5 March 2013: Despite all evidence to the contrary, I'm a nice chick, just your average, bulletproof chick. 448 tweets. 93 following. 863 followers. Her most recent tweet as of 31 March 2014 was dated 23 January 2010.

First full day as Twitter COO tomorrow.

Task #1: undermine CEO, consolidate power.

13 September 2009 dick costolo @dickc [^117.121] https://twitter.com/#!/dickc/status/3962807808 Twitter bio and stats on 24 August 2013: CEO at Twitter. Location: San Francisco. 6,470 tweets. 356 following. 1,088,470 followers.

" **Power is more important than money in China** ,"

said on a BBC News radio special on BoXilai that aired in the U.S. on 15 May 2012. On that radio show, it was also said that you can be a businessman in China – but without power, you're still just a businessman.

BBC News (World) @BBCWorld [^117.122] Twitter bio and stats on 24 August 2013: News, features and analysis from BBC News (World edition). For UK edition, follow @BBCNews. For breaking news, follow @BBCBreaking. Latest sport news @BBCSport. Location: London, UK · bbc.com/news. 148,395 tweets. 59 following. 4,259,469 followers.

I think I'm ready for one of those jobs where you get to say "off with their heads!" a lot.

Where can I apply for that?

28 June 2012 Niki ‏@NikiWithIssues [^117.123] https://twitter.com/nikiwithissues/status/218383969773826048 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: I'm super lazy. Which is like normal lazy but I'm also wearing a cape. Location: The Shire · http://favstar.fm/users/NikiWithIssues - 6,027 tweets. 811 following. 35,838 followers.

Boss: a person who thinks 9 Women together can produce a child in 1 mth & if this target achieved, wants twins the next month

15 September 2011 AlyB @discomaulvi [^117.124] https://twitter.com/#!/discomaulvi/status/114551795816202240 His Twitter bio and stats on 26 August 2013: Aly Balagamwala @discomaulvi - Entrepreneur/Industrialist - Writer/Blogger - Social Media Enthusiast - Da'ee - Social Activist - Amateur Technical Analyst - Aur aur aur :) - Location: Karachi, Pakistan · about.me/DiscoMaulvi - 35,434 tweets. 660 following. 2,247 followers. Aur in his bio, pronounced or, means and in Urdu.

My friend asked me if I knew an iOS developer who works quickly and cheap. So you want something shitty?

30 January 2013 David Hoang ‏@davidhoang [^117.125] https://twitter.com/davidhoang/status/296769723008434176 Bio: I design iOS apps for @Xhatch between naps. Often tweets before thinking. Cat enthusiast. I got a castle in Brooklyn, that's where I dwell. Location: Brooklyn, New York (via SEA) · http://davidhoang.com - 68,765 tweets. 999 following. 4,023 followers.

A fallacy among inexperienced American clients is that an untapped population of software developers is available to quickly put a product together for very little money. Meanwhile in Silicon Valley, the unemployment rate for software developers was below 1% at the time. The fallacy of "quick, cheap and easy" can be found in leadership environments around the world.

The laziest people always know what you should do.

13 March 2012 Chief Galia Mango ‏@ChiefTwittler [^117.126] https://twitter.com/ChiefTwittler/status/179674107523235840 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Look for me in your grocer's dairy aisle. I'll follow you back 18+. Location: Dallas, Texas · http://favstar.fm/users/ChiefTwittler - 10,386 tweets. 10,490 following. 10,545 followers.

**Performance evaluation form includes only about 1/4 of the "accountabilities" that I actually do**.

Off with their heads! #OfficeBastilleDay

14 July 2011 Fabiana Sofia Perera @fabiana_sofia [^117.127] https://twitter.com/#!/fabiana_sofia/status/91584473304547329 Her Twitter bio and stats on 26 August 2013: Venezuelan/American, depending on who asks. Lover of chocolate, politics, books, pizza and DC. Wildcat. Hoya . Colonial. Chair of HAA. Location: Washington, DC. 2,166 tweets. 411 following. 243 followers.

The sign of an incompetent leader is one who has no concept or understanding of what those under his command do

16 August 2012 Dzirhan Mahadzir ‏@DzirhanDefence [^117.128] https://twitter.com/DzirhanDefence/status/235955368352694273 His bio: Defence journalist, Malaysia correspondent-Janes Defence Weekly former guest lecturer on military history and strategy, Malaysian Armed Forces Defence College. Location: Petaling Jaya, Malaysia. 18,443 tweets. 570 following. 1,214 followers.

The land of fake believe.

20 October 2012 ShoutingGoddess ‏@ShoutingGoddess [^117.129] https://twitter.com/ShoutingGoddess/status/259804603497975808 Bio: Don't read this shit. Go read a book. 98,647 tweets. 2,325 following. 15,878 followers.

I'm never angrier at myself than when I feel the need to explain myself to someone who has already shown their utter disregard for me.

27 March 2012 Tink ‏@Tinkerbell_ [^117.130] https://twitter.com/#!/Tinkerbell_/status/184660589967196161 Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 6 May 2013: TinkAlmighty, eh! @Tinkerbell_ I like long walks in the country. Dressing up, and down. Good sense of humour. Never put out on the first date, well apart from that one time. http://favstar.fm/users/tinkerbell_/recent - 16,270 tweets. 975 following. 9,691 followers.

In most cases, it's curious how people who demand explanations are those to whom we owe none.

8 January 2013 Laet Oliveira ‏@LaetPO [^117.131] https://twitter.com/LaetPO/status/288670256325603328 His bio and stats on 9 January 2013: Mercenary philologist. Location: Sao Paulo, Brazil. 38,683 tweets. 295 following. 1,589 followers.

Yes you're very authoritative and assertive and intimidating and know how to get your way but let me tell you this: everybody hates you.

30 December 2012 Silver Kick ‏@SilverKick [^117.132] https://twitter.com/SilverKick/status/285324657224192000 Her bio and stats on 14 February 2013: thesilverkickdiaries.com/ IG: silverkickdiaries http://favstar.fm/users/SilverKick/recent - 30,464 tweets. 1,017 following. 5,442 followers.

authoritatively delivered nonsense

8 December 2013 NYT Minus Context ‏@NYTMinusContext [^117.133] https://twitter.com/NYTMinusContext/status/409786727801565184 Bio and stats on 17 January 2014: All Tweets Verbatim From New York Times Content. Not Affiliated with New York Times. Follow @NYTPlusContext for context. NYTMinusContext@gmail.com - 1,244 tweets. 911 following. 10.854 followers.

The New York Times @nytimes [^117.134] Twitter bio and stats on 17 January 2014: Where the conversation begins. Follow for breaking news, special reports, http://NYTimes.com homepage links and RTs of our journalists. Location: New York City · nytimes.com -124,082 tweets. 854 following. 10,681,262 followers.

I hope the insects find you.

10 September 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^117.135] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/377436467800182784 Twitter bio and stats on 30 December 2013 for this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 17,120 tweets. 729 following. 28,655 followers.

Love is people being nice to you because they like you: power is them being nice even though they might hate you.

3 October 2013 Alain de Botton ‏@alaindebotton [^117.136] https://twitter.com/alaindebotton/status/385695169221496832 Twitter bio and stats on 5 October 2013: Writer; most recently deviser of http://www.artastherapy.com Founder; http://www.theschooloflife.com. Location: London · alaindebotton.com. 654 tweets. 4,682 following. 394,875 followers.

Getting a compliment from someone you don't like is worse than an insult.

11 July 2012 Aparna Nancherla ‏@aparnapkin [^117.137] https://twitter.com/aparnapkin/status/223293620827062272 Her bio and stats on 21 November 2012: I am a scrunched up napkin with recyclable dreams. Also a comedian in some cultures. Total drag in others. Location: NY/LA sidewalk nook · http://www.aparnacomedy.com - 3,816 tweets. 1,381 following. 17,864 followers.

I'm hoping one day soon my bosses realize I am just one person.

22 December 2011 Scotched Rinker @ConfusedLush [^117.138] https://twitter.com/#!/ConfusedLush/status/149888693912604673 Account was taken down and a new one appeared on 14 February 2013 with this screen name, ID, biography and stats on 25 February 2013: Beans @confusedlush My favorite beer is beer. Location: Canada. 4 tweets. 12 following. 7 followers. Is the new account from the old author?

**Nothing is impossible if you don't have to do it yourself.  
**

20 June 2011 Sputnik Sweetheart @Verlieren [^117.139] https://twitter.com/#!/Verlieren/status/82943901559816192 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: Creator of Google, previously psychotic person. Not to make you fall in love with me but I probably don't have AIDS. http://tinyurl.com/verinstagram - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001856/ - 11,012 tweets. 548 following. 14,712 followers.

@MeetingBoy **We want out employees to have a work/life balance. Also, this brand new project is due tomorrow**.

#officebastilleday

14 July 2011 Derek @solorca - https://twitter.com/#!/solorca/status/91588222945210368 Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 26 August 2013: Derek @WeatherWillett [^117.140] My name is Derek. 1,738 tweets. 39 following. 41 followers.

Boss: Why can't you do the report by tomorrow?!

Me: Because tomorrow is saturday.

Boss: mmm..do you have a computer at home?

#officebastilleday

14 July 2011 Thelma E. Quintero @TJBound [^117.141] https://twitter.com/#!/TJBound/status/91591365397458944 Her Twitter bio and stats on 26 August 2013: I'm 40'ish, I live with my mom(Yeah that's right!!)and 4 cats that don't like me. Location: Tijuana, MeXiCo. 406 tweets. 126 following. 20 followers. Spaces have been added after each of the colons in the tweet above.

I thought that being sick is my rock bottom until I was forced by my manager to work on my sick leave.

30 May 2012 Ramy El-Qady ‏@Ramitology [^117.142] https://twitter.com/Ramitology/status/207835408099315713 His Twitter bio and stats on 26 August 2013: There's a set of tweets between your top tweets & your new ones. You're on Twitter because you feel just like that set, forgotten, lonely & left out (Bilingual). http://favstar.fm/users/Ramitology/recent - 38,748 tweets. 179 following. 9,232 followers.

I make my employees bring in a doctor's note for every sick day because fuck treating 'em like adults.

21 October 2011 Jocelyn @FilthyRichmond [^117.143] https://twitter.com/#!/FilthyRichmond/status/127369314851487745 Twitter bio and stats on 5 March 2013 for Jocelyn Plums @FilthyRichmond - Kiss Mommy's cold sore and make it better! #RVA http://FilthyRichmond.com Location: Richmond, VA · http://favstar.fm/users/filthyrichmond/recent - 9,914 tweets. 3,384 following. 65,783 followers.

How to improve morale: Have your DVP walk around and take attendance 5x per day...then check w/ ur admin if you arent there to see where u r

9 September 2011 The Office Prick ‏@theofficeprick [^117.144] https://twitter.com/theofficeprick/status/112402971928694784 Twitter bio and stats on 26 October 2013: Documenting and chronicling the daily actions of The Office Prick. Yes, these are true. 112 tweets. 48 following. 61 followers. On 26 October 2013, this account's most recent tweet was dated 13 January 2012. DVP could mean deputy vice president or divisional vice president. w/ = with. Ur = your. u r = you are.

Boss wants a report on his desk within the hour but he leaves and then the report sits on his desk for 2 days!

#officebastilleday

14 July 2011 Melissa Jack @MelissaJack918 [^117.145] https://twitter.com/#!/MelissaJack918/status/91608199320449025 Her Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 26 August 2013: Lissa J @MelissaJack918 - Graphic Designer Not part of the SSSM. iPhone: 36.160477,-95.993126. 1,529 tweets. 265 following. 144 followers.

Forced to go on team building day with annoying colleagues to "bond"... on a saturday. Please make it end!

#officebastilleday

14 July 2011 Lise @earthboundandbw [^117.146] https://twitter.com/#!/earthboundandbw/status/91605194235838464 Her Twitter bio and stats on 26 August 2013 when the above tweet was found to have been deleted and her most recent tweet was dated 26 July 2012: Earthbound & bewildered. What's it all about eh? workaholic, smiley, loud laugh,total twit. Location: London. 153 tweets. 133 following. 49 followers.

Telling me I can't take any time off but I'm going to lose my earned time off for not taking it. Off with their heads!

#officebastilleday

14 July 2011 Kim Sloan @thesocialtech [^117.147] https://twitter.com/#!/thesocialtech/status/91596829837373440 Twitter bio and stats on 26 August 2013: IT professional and Social Media Marketing. Location: 35.571194,-106.094624. 965 tweets. 463 following. 103 followers.

You can't be all things to all people but it helps.

16 May 2012 St. Paul Revere ‏@StPaulRevere [^117.148] https://twitter.com/#!/StPaulRevere/status/202899508563165184 Twitter bio and stats on 26 August 2013: America's first tattle-tail. I love history and horses and getting caught in the rain. 4,611 tweets. 1,360 following. 1,838 followers.

Meet me three fourths of the way or the deal's off..

29 February 2012 tangy ‏@Wussawilla [^117.149] https://twitter.com/#!/Wussawilla/status/174946765856976897 Her bio and stats on 2 November 2012: Sometimes while sleeping, I dream of being real.. Location: The Center · http://favstar.fm/users/Wussawilla - 24,711 tweets. 2,329 following. 7,374 followers.

people who don't compromise, they worry me.

10 August 2012 angel ‏@bizarre3angles [^117.150] https://twitter.com/bizarre3angles/status/233954282309812225 Her bio and stats on 6 September 2012: not a big deal. 960 tweets. 198 following. 593 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 1 August 2013: not a big deal. 1,354 tweets. 186 following. 742 followers.

My real superpower is condescension.

18 November 2008 Stephanie ‏@CcSteff [^117.151] on Favrd. URL lost. Her Twitter bio and stats on 2 April 2013: Hey, turtleface. Want a peanut? sprattacus [at] gmail. Location: Menlo Park, CA. 3,456 tweets. 207 following. 5,762 followers.

with great power comes greater tunnel vision. Period

20 September 2012 da vincian ‏@evo8X8 [^117.152] https://twitter.com/evo8X8/status/248797781895041024 His bio and stats on 3 February 2013: Quotations in my work are like wayside robbers who leap out armed and relieve the stroller of his conviction - Walter Benjamin. 53,593 tweets. 1,353 following. 2,117 followers.

Solution to economic crisis: sack everyone who has an MBA.

21 November 2008 Twittah_bigger ‏@CcSteff [^117.153] http://twitter.com/CcSteff/statuses/1016564927 Her bio and stats on 2 April 2013: Hey, turtleface. Want a peanut? sprattacus [at] gmail. Location: Menlo Park, CA. 3,456 tweets. 207 following. 5,762 followers.

WORD OF THE DAY:

To Corzine (v): To act like one has no idea what is going on at one's company;

see "to Murdoch" (v)

9 December 2011 Andy Borowitz @BorowitzReport [^117.154] https://twitter.com/#!/BorowitzReport/status/145126442332721152 Tweet not found on 10 May 2013. Bio and stats on 10 May 2013: There is a fine line between social networking and wasting your fucking life. Location: New York · http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/ 139 tweets. 34 following. 458,209 followers.

Tweeted the day after a former governor of New Jersey (Jon Corzine, a Democrat) was questioned in the US Congress regarding the failure of MF Global, which occurred while Corzine headed the company. He was MF Global's CEO from 23 March 2010 until 4 November 2011, when the position was eliminated. MF Global reportedly lost US$1.6 billion of its customers' money.

The reference above to Murdoch is to Rupert Murdoch's statements that he had no idea that phone hacking, police bribery and other illegal and corrupt practices were being conducted by or for his Sunday tabloid The News of the World in the UK. That paper had been the biggest selling English language newspaper in the world in 1950. It ceased publication after its final edition of 10 July 2011. Amongst other activities, Murdoch's organization was responsible for hacking into the telephone communications of families of British military personnel who had been killed in action.

No, boss, having my back doesn't mean hiding behind me when things get bad.

26 September 2011 Meeting Boy ‏@MeetingBoy [^117.155] https://twitter.com/#!/MeetingBoy/status/118342648804294656 Twitter bio and stats on 8 August 2013: I hate my job. Location: across the conference table · meetingboy.com/posts - 6,123 tweets. 86,778 following. 148,037 followers.

i like how you brag about your integrity.

28 August 2012 sweet p ‏@preawsaurus [^117.156] https://twitter.com/preawsaurus/status/240455677619875842 Her bio and stats on 8 November 2012: i am nice. at least that's the way i perceive myself. i could be wrong. Location: Tellus · http://favstar.fm/users/preawsaurus/most_retweeted - 12,197 tweets. 910 following. 8,090 followers.

Never trust anyone who says "trust me".

28 October 2012 Michelle ‏@MichelleHarnois [^117.157] https://twitter.com/MichelleHarnois/status/262775665881931776 Her bio and stats on 30 October 2012: Prolific tweeter. Equal parts sweet & sour. Writer, reader, current events junkie. I'm a fucking weirdo. Location: Warwick, RI. 15,512 tweets. 2,024 following. 1,847 followers.

When you cherry-pick the promises you keep, the fruit you gather will be rotten.

8 August 2012 Your Muse ‏@RummyLauded [^117.158] https://twitter.com/RummyLauded/status/233452311932964864 Her bio and stats on 19 February 2013: All of this is false. I always tell the truth. Location: Between a rock & a hard place. · http://favstar.fm/users/RummyLauded/recent - 13,029 tweets. 936 following. 8,303 followers.

I did not lie. I was strategically misinforming you.

1 March 2012 Lisa Laughs ‏@Lisa_Laughs_ [^117.159] https://twitter.com/Lisa_Laughs_/status/175307523484680192 Her bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I shouted at the devil once. He cried and made me a chicken pot pie. Gordo Pie Osigat Token BBQ · http://favstar.fm/users/Lisa_Laughs_/recent - 57,977 tweets. 4,192 following. 18,790 followers.

There's no i in lie.

28 September 2013 Grim ‏@grimpossible [^117.160] https://twitter.com/grimpossible/status/383901592103452672 Bio: I hate people. I like pizza. I wish more people were pizza. favstar.fm/users/grimpossible - 1,572 tweets. 387 following. 3,251 followers.

My best asset is lie ability.

8 February 2011 Mr. Won't @Brain_Wash [^117.161] https://twitter.com/#!/Brain_Wash/status/35221635078299648 His bio and stats on 26 May 2013: Mr. Want @Brain_wash Pissed off school teacher. Bitter father. Location: San Francisco · brainnotbrian.tumblr.com - 113 tweets. 0 following. 101 followers.

Some people are good at lying. Some people are not, but they do it anyway.

4 June 2012 Shireen Soussen ♔ ‏@TheLastVirgo [^117.162] https://twitter.com/TheLastVirgo/status/209647213029236736 Her bio and stats on 23 April 2013: I gallivant in chimerical places, but I'm mainly flesh and blood. Favstar: http://favstar.fm/users/thelastvirgo - Snuggery: @ShireenSoussen. Location: The Sussex Coast ENGLAND · http://www.soundcloud.com/TheLastVirgo - 15,739 tweets. 9,173 following. 13,403 followers.

**Truthful Tuesday: lying is the** _only_ **thing I'm good at.**

Tuesday, 30 October 2012 Mudblood ‏@DiscoLemonKayy [^117.163] https://twitter.com/DiscoLemonKayy/status/263365829897355265 Her bio: I'm a shade too awkward for pretty; this muggle bullshit is for the birds. Location: into the wild :) 26,411 tweets. 907 following. 6,509 followers. Italics added.

One of the most devious ways to lie is to tell the truth in such a way that it is not believed, and thus disregarded.

21 September 2013 tinydoctor ‏@tinydoctor [^117.164] https://twitter.com/tinydoctor/status/381600025047883776 His Twitter bio: I'm a Pentecostal Atheist putting on a tent show revival, speaking in tongues and witnessing to the Word of not god but the Mammon of my counterfeits of meaning. Frederick, Maryland · doctoromed.wordpress.com. 8,228 tweets. 280 following. 303 followers.

Deleted within four hours and replaced by:

One of the most devious ways to lie is to tell the truth in such a way that it is not believed; truth thus disregarded, the lie embraced.

21 September 2013 tinydoctor ‏@tinydoctor [^117.165] https://twitter.com/tinydoctor/status/381600807717576704 His Twitter bio: I'm a Pentecostal Atheist putting on a tent show revival, speaking in tongues and witnessing to the Word of not god but the Mammon of my counterfeits of meaning. Frederick, Maryland · doctoromed.wordpress.com. 8,239 tweets. 280 following. 303 followers.

Reply:

@tinydoctor **Falsifying is only half of a lie. The other is degrading the perception of the truth until there's false equivalence.**

21 September 2013 RIST_18D8 ‏@NotE0157H7 [^117.166] https://twitter.com/NotE0157H7/status/381601118142214144 Twitter bio: Post-oversaturation robo-bastard and sinful rainbow leprechaun. 34,748 tweets. 50 following. 255 followers.

Response:

**The truth is often most poorly told by sincere truth tellers,** @NotE0157H7

21 September 2013 tinydoctor ‏@tinydoctor [^117.167] https://twitter.com/tinydoctor/status/381603382873448448 His Twitter bio: I'm a Pentecostal Atheist putting on a tent show revival, speaking in tongues and witnessing to the Word of not god but the Mammon of my counterfeits of meaning. Frederick, Maryland · doctoromed.wordpress.com. 8,239 tweets. 280 following. 303 followers.

People who are lying to you tend to look up and to the left (their left).

9 January 2012 What The Fuck Facts @WTFuckFacts [^117.168] https://twitter.com/#!/WTFuckFacts/status/156397343829262336 Twitter bio and stats on 7 June 2013: Tweeting facts that some of you don't care about. Location: All Around The World. 261 tweets. 16 following. 1,617 followers.

Who are you going to believe, me or my ventriloquist dummy?

18 October 2012 Steve Mieczkowski ‏@IGotsSmarts [^117.169] https://twitter.com/IGotsSmarts/status/258826897855754240 His bio and stats two days later: I only have 26 letters to work with. Don't expect any miracles. Location: Albuquerque, NM http://favstar.fm/users/IGotsSmarts/recent - 4,327 tweets. 793 following. 9,276 followers.

Honestly, I'm gonna keep lying.

25 July 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^117.170] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/228252545246695424 His bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,477 tweets. 3,154 following. 9,233 followers.

It's okay to lie to people you don't love.

6 July 2012 Manish ‏@savvystrider [^117.171] https://twitter.com/savvystrider/status/221381297325608962 His Twitter bio and stats on 4 August 2013: I like everything you like. Location: Not there · http://favstar.fm/users/savvystrider/recent - 3,314 tweets. 7,304 following. 7,268 followers.

Lost track of who I was lying to.

7 August 2012 Jimmer Cork-Bottle ‏@JimmerThatisAll [^117.172] https://twitter.com/JimmerThatisAll/status/233024116888829952 His bio and stats on 14 November 2012: From the twelve winded sky. That photo is older than you are. We're in this together. Follow friends of the month @Isitthattime @k_beec @madamesnooty Location: Corktown. Canada. http://favstar.fm/users/JimmerThatisAll/recent - 51,947 tweets. 4,629 following. 5,213 followers.

I want you to be completely honest with me as long as you're only pointing out my strengths.

31 July 2012 braden graeber ‏@hipstermermaid [^117.173] https://twitter.com/hipstermermaid/status/230451939756879872 His bio and stats on 25 April 2013: Braden Graeber makes, writes and overthinks things. Location: Los Angeles · http://blog.bradengraeber.com - 4,552 tweets. 395 following. 142,036 followers.

" **A Flatterer is a person that tells you your opinion and not his own**." :)

20 July 2012 Anupam Kher ‏@AnupamPkher [^117.174] https://twitter.com/AnupamPkher/status/226522157977583616 His Twitter bio and stats on 26 August 2013: Actor/Teacher/Author/Motivational Speaker. Location: ÜT: 19.110118,72.833712 · actorprepares.net. 9,332 tweets. 57 following. 1,742,274 followers.

I'll lie if it makes you happy

7 April 2012 Mudblood ‏@DiscoLemonKayy [^117.175] https://twitter.com/#!/DiscoLemonKayy/status/188795112447410176 Her bio and stats on 30 October 2012: I'm a shade too awkward for pretty; this muggle bullshit is for the birds. Location: into the wild :) 26,411 tweets. 907 following. 6,509 followers.

"Reality is always controlled by the people who are most insane."

12 January 2012 Hannah @Watchmyass [^117.176] https://twitter.com/#!/Watchmyass/status/157537266561064960 No Twitter account with this ID found on 26 August 2013.

The quickest and easiest way crazy people can feel more sane is by surrounding themselves with people more insane than them.

Thanks Twitter.

11 November 2011 PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz \- https://twitter.com/#!/llvvzz/status/135109902757662720 Her bio and stats on 20 December 2012: I am not your perception of me. I control your perception of me. http://facebook.com/llvvzzz @llvvzzz for #FF Check out Tweet~Mates! at http://llvvzz.com - I Own A Chihuahua · http://favstar.fm/users/llvvzz - 1,985 tweets. 83,157 following. 83,737 followers. Indexed under her alternate ID: @lvvzz [^117.177].

You make crazy look good.

30 September 2012 Bella ‏@Hello_Bella [^117.178] https://twitter.com/Hello_Bella/status/252598020523323392

Her bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I'm a naughty tweeter... I think. Location: California · http://favstar.fm/users/Hello_Bella - 27,313 tweets. 3,973 following. 6,635 followers.

Look, I only want what's best for me.

26 May 2012 Alex Baze ‏@bazecraze [^117.179] https://twitter.com/bazecraze/status/206471259696013312 His bio and stats on 23 November 2012: Cynical shell. Soft, chewy center. Location: NYC. 5,989 tweets. 535 following. 52,032 followers.

Would I lie to me?

25 September 2012 Jimmer Cork-Bottle ‏@JimmerThatisAll [^117.180] https://twitter.com/JimmerThatisAll/status/250790331975610368 His bio: From the twelve winded sky. That photo is older than you are. We're in this together. Location: Corktown. Canada. 33,967 tweets. 3,128 following. 3,513 followers.

Don't mess up a good thing by being sincere.

29 November 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^117.181] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/274110642879877120 His bio and stats on 27 February 2013: I tweet so you don't have to. https://soundcloud.com/nerdamage-1/05hund4m463 - 16,272 tweets. 3,373 following. 11,597 followers.

Many CEOs are 'successful' psychopaths: superficially charming, egocentric, insincere, manipulative, grandiose, exploitative, lack empathy.

30 March 2012 https://twitter.com/aem76us/status/185661886711341056

'Successful' psychopaths can be successful managers because of their willingness to ignore or sacrifice the wellbeing of their subordinates in order to achieve the goals of the organization – or the manager. This approach risks having the organization collapse before its goals are reached.

Unsuccessful psychopaths lack CEOs' levels of self-control and are consequently more likely to be incarcerated. Self-control is the primary distinguishing characteristic between successful and unsuccessful psychopaths. Sociopath is the contemporary term. True sociopaths represent a small fraction of the population that occasionally demonstrates sociopathic behavior.

**Rather than focus on extreme psychopaths (1%), the 'almost psychopaths' (15%) are more relevant. 'They Live' among us**.

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2012/03/is-wall-street-full-of-psychopaths/254944/

2 April 2012 https://twitter.com/#!/aem76us/status/186824008665272321

They Live is a movie about aliens that take over Earth. Disguised as humans, they intermingle and intermarry with humans. The aliens can be recognized by someone wearing special sunglasses. It was directed by John Carpenter in 1988 and produced for an estimated US $4 million.

The link in the above tweet points to this article, which also contributed to the previous tweet above about CEOs being 'successful' psychopaths:

"Is Wall Street Full of Psychopaths?" by James Silver, The Atlantic Magazine, 29 March 2012.  http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2012/03/is-wall-street-full-of-psychopaths/254944/

Subheading:

**One estimate suggests that one out of every 10 employees on Wall Street is a psychopath. That's probably off, but consider how many** _almost psychopaths_ **there are instead.**

James Silver's biography in the Atlantic Magazine (below his article) as it appeared on 27 August 2013: James Silver is the co-author of Almost a Psychopath: Do I (or Does Someone I Know) Have a Problem with Manipulation and Lack of Empathy? and a former federal prosecutor and current criminal defense attorney.

Twitter bio and stats on 27 August 2013 for Jim Silver @jimsilveresq [^117.182] Criminal defense attorney, former Assistant United States Attorney, author. Graduate of the University of Notre Dame and Harvard Law School. Location: Boston. 4 tweets. 20 following. 19 followers.

Screen name, ID, bio and stats on 9 January 2013 of The Atlantic @TheAtlantic [^117.183] Official Twitter feed for The Atlantic magazine and http://TheAtlantic.com . News and analysis on current affairs, politics, and culture. Managed by @c_heller. Location: Washington, D.C. · http://www.theatlantic.com \- 35,059 tweets. 936 following. 206,853 followers. Italics added to the subheading quoted above.

Psycho Killer Qu'est Que C'est Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better Run run run run run run run away

Monday morning, 4 March 2013 Sabeen Mahmud ‏@sabeen [^117.184] https://twitter.com/sabeen/status/308432389405810689 Her bio: Post Modern Flower Child Unabashed Mac Snob Pink Floyd Devotee Tetris Addict West Wing Fanatic. Location: Karachi · http://www.bitsonline.net/beanz - 12,521 tweets. 560 following. 6,572 followers.

Sabeen quotes lyrics from the song "Psycho Killer," written by David Byrne, Chris Frantz and Tina Weymouth. It was first performed by the authors' band The Artistic in 1974 and then in 1975 by their New Wave band the Talking Heads. The Talking Heads released the song on 16 September 1977 on the album Talking Heads: 77. The album was released on the Sire Records label in the US and the Philips Records label in Europe and Japan.

Never work with bad boss... they will never accept their own fault even years after you have left the company

10 May 2013 Hasham Malik ‏@hasham2 [^117.185] https://twitter.com/hasham2/status/332773371769151488 His bio: Geek, amateur guitarist, nature lover, love pets, occasional blogger, social media fan and full time ruby on rails web developer. programmatic.me - 16,224 tweets. 1,400 following. 865 followers.

Having an evil boss is worse than having an evil stepfather.

4 June 2012 Ramy El-Qady ‏@Ramitology [^117.186] https://twitter.com/Ramitology/status/209896262508613632 His Twitter bio and stats on 26 August 2013: There's a set of tweets between your top tweets & your new ones. You're on Twitter because you feel just like that set, forgotten, lonely & left out (Bilingual). http://favstar.fm/users/Ramitology/recent - 38,748 tweets. 179 following. 9,232 followers.

You can't argue with crazy.

22 May 2013 rands ‏@rands [^117.187] https://twitter.com/rands/status/337111919792099328 Bio: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 9,084 tweets. 545 following. 30,267 followers.

There's no 'i' in lie.

4 December 2012 Nick Frost ‏@Nick_Frost [^117.188] https://twitter.com/Nick_Frost/status/275920744494534658 His bio and stats on 6 December 2012: Based on a true mystery. Inspired by real-time events. Location: Cape Town · http://thebrothersfrost.com - 28,502 tweets. 495 following. 3,027 followers.

@Nick_Frost **there's no 'u' in funny.**

4 December 2012 Deon ‏@RealPuppetIAm [^117.189] https://twitter.com/RealPuppetIAm/status/275934567083433984 Bio and stats on 6 December 2012: I have a cat. But she doesn't know she's adopted yet.. 482 tweets. 33 following. 18 followers.

People who lie a lot lose faith in their own words.

10 July 2012 ShoutingGoddess ‏@ShoutingGoddess [^117.190] https://twitter.com/shoutinggoddess/status/222727943338725378 Her bio and stats on 5 November 2012: Don't read this shit. Go read a book. 101,615 tweets. 2,305 following. 16,629 followers.

As with sociopaths generally, habitual liars often feel most powerful when they're taking advantage of other people.

destroy the institution, to project the one... this is how Organizations die.

23 May 2012 calamur ‏@calamur [^117.191] https://twitter.com/calamur/status/205497141865619457 Her bio: Harini Calamur - Media Entrepreneur, Film Maker, Columnist, writer, blogger, teacher & the main slave to an imperious hound(ess). Mumbai. 9,809 followers.

See also:

US generals have a guild mentality. They protect themselves, ignore strategy.

 http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/11/general-failure/309148/ Explains Iraq and Afghanistan failures.

26 October 2012 https://twitter.com/aem76us/status/261822384338763777

Points to: "General Failure," by Thomas E. Ricks. Appeared online on Friday, 26 October 2012 and in the November 2012 print edition of The Atlantic magazine. http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/11/general-failure/309148/ \- Published before the Petraeus scandal that erupted in early November 2012.

Thomas E. Ricks - no Twitter ID found on 3 March 2013 and again on 27 August 2013. Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 1 February 2015: tom ricks @tomricks1 [^117.192] Writer - http://foreignpolicy.com/author/tom-ricks/ - 4,460 tweets. 682 following. 6,151 followers.

The Atlantic @TheAtlantic [^117.193] Twitter bio and stats on 9 January 2013: Official Twitter feed for The Atlantic magazine and http://TheAtlantic.com . News and analysis on current affairs, politics, and culture. Managed by @c_heller. Location: Washington, D.C. · http://www.theatlantic.com - 35,059 tweets. 936 following. 206,853 followers.

THIS IS A SHOUT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO DON'T LISTEN!!!!!!

13 September 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^117.194] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/246169626013212672 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,223 tweets. 1,918 following. 1,773 followers.

You know what they say: "If it ain't broke, change it drastically until it does."

14 December 2011 Tony Bologna @goonumbertwo \- https://twitter.com/#!/goonumbertwo/status/147095898260910080 Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 27 August 2013: Goo @goolicker [^117.195] I'm not a violent man, but I WILL pull your hair and put my belt to your ass. Location: Yank Town. 9,015 tweets. 985 following. 10,792 followers.

It might help to make improvements instead of changes.

12 September 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^117.196] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/246060826354675712 His bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,477 tweets. 3,154 following. 9,233 followers.

There are few things more frightening than a bad idea with momentum.

10 January 2012 Lee Clow's Beard @leeclowsbeard [^117.197] https://twitter.com/#!/leeclowsbeard/status/156788671725584385 Twitter bio and stats on 27 August 2013: Musings on advertising and facial topiary. Usually daily. Often dandruff-free. The book: http://amzn.to/LCBbook • The story: http://bit.ly/LeeClowTalksLCB - leeclowsbeard.com. 1,126 tweets. 250 following. 34,879 followers.

" **Evacuate? In our moment of triumph? I think you overestimate their chances." - Grand Moff Tarkin**

pic.twitter.com/3tdvCvNx

27 November 2012 Star Wars ‏@starwars [^117.198] https://twitter.com/starwars/status/273592625351761920 Bio: The official home of Star Wars on Twitter. http://www.starwars.com - 18,444 tweets. 320 following. 302,699 followers.

The link in the tweet is to a photograph of the character of Tarkin as he spoke those words. This tweet was found as retweeted by Crispin J. Burke @CrispinBurke [^117.199] at the time that the United States had begun reducing its military presence in Afghanistan. Burke's bio and stats on 29 November 2012: Pocketful of awesomeness. Favorite = bookmark. Does not represent views of US DoD. Location: San Antonio, Texas · http://about.me/crispinburke 33,490 tweets. 1,177 following. 2,434 followers. Crispin J. Burke's articles in Medium: https://medium.com/@CrispinBurke

I'm not afraid of stupid people. I'm afraid of clever people with stupid ideas.

25 July 2012 Tanya Johnston ‏@tjinscot [^117.200] https://twitter.com/tjinscot/status/228291632150216704 Her bio and stats on 18 November 2012: Grumpy Old Woman When I star a tweet,it doesn't always mean I think it's funny.It can also mean I hear you, I agree, or even I am sorry to hear about it. http://favstar.fm/users/tjinscot/recent - 4,538 tweets. 1,608 following. 3,210 followers.

People who don't build things themselves greatly overestimate the value of ideas.

5 July 2013 Luke Chamberlin ‏@lchamberlin [^117.201] https://twitter.com/lchamberlin/status/353322210825478145 Twitter bio and stats on 11 July 2013: Designer at Neo. Location: Brooklyn, NY · lchamb.com - 3,594 tweets. 494 following. 384 followers.

The patent system is based on the premise that ideas are rare and precious, but implementation is easy.

No wonder it's failing for software!

9 December 2011 Andrew Plotkin @zarfeblong [^117.202] https://twitter.com/#!/zarfeblong/status/145269648500326400 His Twitter bio and stats on 12 July 2013: Hacker. Location: Boston · eblong.com/zarf/home.html - 5,556 tweets. 116 following. 1,269 followers.

Not every realization is an epiphany.

10 August 2012 levinandkitteh ‏@weareourdesires [^117.203] https://twitter.com/weareourdesires/status/234168628998705152 Her bio and stats on 10 August 2012: the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones that are mad to live. Location: In transit. 4,345 tweets. 337 following. 203 followers. On 24 October 2012 her account was found to have disappeared.

My Big Picture is my Small Picture, repeated endlessly.

16 November 2011 Kay Morgan @KayM77 [^117.204] https://twitter.com/#!/KayM77/status/136856514513211392 Her bio and stats on 14 March 2013: I'm on Twitter. 18,872 tweets. 248 following. 1,615 followers.

Deja Moo - the feeling that you've heard that bull before.

2 October 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^117.205] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/253027631581233153 Her bio: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com 7,640 tweets. 1,449 following. 1,122 followers.

Hard not to end up hating anyone with massive power over you - however benign it is.

9 September 2011 Alain de Botton @alaindebotton [^117.206] https://twitter.com/#!/alaindebotton/status/112377340578897920 His bio and stats on 15 January 2013: Writer; most recently of 'Religion for Atheists'. Location: London · http://tinyurl.com/chcbro9 - 555 tweets. 4,420 following. 308,786 followers.

There are people who will only trust you if they control you. These are the worst people to work with or have a relationship with.

25 October 2012 Iyad El-Baghdadi ‏@iyad_elbaghdadi [^117.207] https://twitter.com/iyad_elbaghdadi/status/261390326751690752 His bio: I startup startups, coach social media, tweet revolutions, and make fun of tyrants. Islamic libertarian. My projects: #ArabTyrantManual, #ArabSpringManifesto. Location: Dubai, UAE · http://www.el-baghdadi.com/manifesto - 38,239 tweets. 1,220 following. 15,020 followers.

What's a leader to do with a bully who [gets] things done?

Two choices: end behavior or end employment.

13 November 2013 Brian Layer ‏@brianlayer [^117.208] https://twitter.com/brianlayer/status/400633039174115331 Twitter bio and stats on 8 February 2014: Brigadier General US Army (Retired) | Chair, Organizational Development at N2Growth | Advisor to Fortune 500 CEOs and Boards | Husband & Father. Location: Moline, Illinois · N2Growth.com - 669 tweets. 213 following. 682 followers. [gets] replaces get's above.

Toxic leadership is not a style; it is a values failure that acts like a cancer in our profession.

12 October 2011 Brian Layer @brianlayer [^117.209] https://twitter.com/#!/brianlayer/status/124147886828171264 At the time, Brian Layer was a US Army Brigadier General. His bio and stats on 17 March 2013: Retired Army leader and founding member of Layer 55 Consulting believes smart, courageous, and selfless leadership is the answer to our hardest problems. Location: Moline, Illinois. 421 tweets. 145 following. 154 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 8 February 2014: Brigadier General US Army (Retired) | Chair, Organizational Development at N2Growth | Advisor to Fortune 500 CEOs and Boards | Husband & Father. Location: Moline, Illinois · N2Growth.com - 669 tweets. 213 following. 682 followers.

Just ten signs your boss is a toxic leader? We can name more...

https://www.facebook.com/WingsOverIraq/posts/268200009970238

19 November 2012 Crispin J. Burke ‏@CrispinBurke [^117.210] https://twitter.com/CrispinBurke/status/270491917442220033 His bio and stats on 29 November 2012: Pocketful of awesomeness. Favorite = bookmark. Does not represent views of US DoD. Location: San Antonio, Texas · http://about.me/crispinburke 33,490 tweets. 1,177 following. 2,434 followers. Crispin J. Burke's articles in Medium: https://medium.com/@CrispinBurke

The tweet links to a graphic by Doctrine Man @Doctrine_Man [^117.211] Twitter bio and stats on 29 November 2012: Able to leap useless acronyms with a single bound, faster than a lumbering field manual, more powerful than a cheese enchilada in a staff huddle! Location: The Bell Tower of Knowledge · http://www.facebook.com/doctrineman - 15,802 tweets. 337 following. 1,873 followers.

Crispin J. Burke linked to a graphic: TEN SIGNS YOUR BOSS IS A TOXIC LEADER.

Four of those signs:

The Attention Span:

Possesses the attention span of a three-year old with ADHD. Becomes angry and frustrated when presented with slides that include either words or numbers.

The Band Camper:

Can't hold a conversation without some reference to "When I was at..." to emphasize that, whatever the topic, he's seen someone do it better somewhere else.

The Late Starter:

Produces a deluge of "HOT" email every afternoon from 1600-1700 hours. Extols the virtues of "Family Time" and leaves promptly at 1730.

The Screamer:

Loses temper easily, yells at people routinely, and criticizes subordinates publicly. Sends emails typed in "all caps" and known widely for "reply all" rants.

• • • • •

Being an asshole is like being an alcoholic.

You can reform, but it's part of your personality.

You need to be on guard against relapse.

7 October 2010 Bethamphetamine @bedheadblonde [^117.212] https://twitter.com/#!/bedheadblonde/status/26695554345 On 13 July 2013 this Twitter account was found to have been de-activated, leaving it with this screen name, new ID and stats (no bio): Bed @Bedheadblonde - 0 tweets. 0 following. 14 followers.

The smartest strategy in business, friendship or love is being honest, as most people expect the opposite.

9 January 2013 Laet Oliveira ‏@LaetPO [^117.213] https://twitter.com/LaetPO/status/289066846668341249 His bio: Mercenary philologist. Location: Sao Paulo, Brazil. 38,683 tweets. 295 following. 1,589 followers.

always keep your word.. it's all you have.

15 July 2013 joy plaza ‏@JoyPlaza [^117.214] https://twitter.com/JoyPlaza/status/356957340542570496 Her Twitter bio and stats on 4 August 2013: my only regret in life is the amount of time i've wasted gently blowing on hot soup. Location: Toronto. 856 tweets. 175 following. 3,768 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  118. Social environment

The following quotes are intended to be seen as more descriptive of workplace social environments than prescriptive.

First day at work! Going well, but I've still yet to affiliate myself with a gang. I usually go with the one with the best dance routines.

13 July 2009 Poeks @poeks on Favrd. URL lost. Her screen name, ID, bio and stats on Twitter on 31 December 2012: Jen Oslislo @poeks [^118.1] Some commie lesbo. Location: Portland, OR · http://flavors.me/poeks - 2,133 tweets. 65 following. 2,942 followers.

Sometimes we worry too much about impressing those that are already impressed.

4 November 2012 oldchk/newattitude ‏@That1chk [^118.2] https://twitter.com/That1chk/status/265151088754307072 Her bio: I won't go changing to try and please you. http://favstar.fm/users/That1chk - 19,579 tweets. 987 following. 2,559 followers.

To be perfectly honest, you don't impress me all that much.

4 November 2012 Get Cougarized ‏@GetCougarized [^118.3] https://twitter.com/GetCougarized/status/265133327588159488 Her bio and stats on 10 November 2012: I have a huge crush on Red Velvet cupcakes, Vodka and anyone that can keep me laughing. http://audioboo.fm/GetCougarized Location: On The Prowl, Near You · http://favstar.fm/users/GetCougarized - 15,041 tweets. 1,808 following. 11,261 followers.

Sorry to bring this up again but, People.

17 January 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^118.4] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/291819235523571712 Her bio and stats on 1 February 2013: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 12,366 tweets. 1,884 following. 1,930 followers.

Don't know people too well. You'll always find them interesting this way.

20 December 2012 Dorkstar ‏@Dorkstar [^118.5] https://twitter.com/Dorkstar/status/281746979179094017 Bio: Management Student@IIM-C, Humour Junkie, Poker Enthusiast, Foodie, Avid traveller and other clichéd things :) Location: Kolkata. 12,712 tweets. 358 following. 2,332 followers.

Me: (unnecessary pleasantry)

Them: (gratitude response)

Me: (request for something I need)

-90% of my human interactions

29 May 2012 jon ‏@senderblock23 [^118.6] https://twitter.com/senderblock23/status/207643651923386368 Bio and stats on 20 December 2012: Titular pianist. senderblock.tumblr.com \- 4,150 tweets. 423 following. 9,818 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 28 June 2013: Nincompoop. senderblock.tumblr.com - 6,747 tweets. 587 following. 13,932 followers.

If I'm really nice to you, there is a good chance I don't like you.

19 October 2012 DoubtingThomas ‏@DoubtTommy [^118.7] https://twitter.com/DoubtTommy/status/259361748723834880 Bio: Im a non-believer in most things but would like to believe. I seek the truth about all including God-UFOs-and why do they keep letting Nicolas Cage make movies. 13,564 tweets. 2,093 following. 2,047 followers.

Office update: Even though they didn't do much, everyone had a good weekend.

3 October 2011 Kevin Biggins ‏@TheBiggIdea [^118.8] https://twitter.com/#!/TheBiggIdea/status/120987543549394944 His bio and stats on 14 March 2013: Writer for Family Guy, Proponent Of Vanity. Location: Los Angeles. 3,896 tweets. 560 following. 40,050 followers.

Let's play that game where you tell me how your weekend was and I throw myself into a volcano.

1 April 2013 Waj ‏@myconfusedface [^118.9] https://twitter.com/myconfusedface/status/318762033153724418 His bio: As my great-grandma would say: Find someone who loves you for your tweets, not for your avatar. All posts are those of Waj. FourLions. Location: In my favorites. 13,465 tweets. 17,905 following. 38,159 followers.

Newly added to Maslow's hierarchy of needs: sad office workers making jokes about needing their caffeine.

20 May 2013 Lane Pieschel ‏@TurboHater [^118.10] https://twitter.com/TurboHater/status/336566695449726976 His bio and stats on 1 June 2013: Stand-up comedian. Writer. Last time I checked I was the man on these tweets. Location: Dunkin Donuts in New York City · yourfunniestfriends.com - 1,177 tweets. 184 following. 629 followers.

I hate people who say 'Hi' with too much enthusiasm.

2 July 2012 Dany ‏@DanOverHere [^118.11] https://twitter.com/DanOverHere/status/219722287077797888 His bio and stats on 24 August 2012: I've done some remarkable stuff. Location: Lebanon. 10,119 tweets. 696 following. 2,537 followers.

Have a nice day. It's what a trite person would want.

17 October 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^118.12] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/258637526288461824 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 14,015 tweets. 3,128 following. 9,547 followers.

I remember when have a nice day wasn't code for go fuck yourself.

28 January 2013 Chrisanna4real ‏@chrisanna4real [^118.13] https://twitter.com/chrisanna4real/status/296024460547473408 Her Twitter bio and stats on 1 August 2013: My life will make you laugh. I fucking love beer & @chopper4jk :) & @the_martinigirl keeps me sane. IG: chrisanna4real. Location: So. Cal. · http://favstar.fm/users/chrisanna4real - 38,129 tweets. 12,935 following. 29,059 followers.

I'll just have a day. Minus the nice, just a day. Thanks.

Monday 15 October 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^118.14] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/257725956867887104 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,223 tweets. 1,918 following. 1,773 followers.

Not putting enough "Let's leave it at that." into my "Hi."

1 November 2012 Jane Sow ‏@VodkaMary [^118.15] https://twitter.com/VodkaMary/status/263907839775490048 Bio and stats on 6 November 2012: Blasphemy,profanity,insanity,etc. Location: Anywhere but here... · http://favstar.fm/users/VodkaMary \- 11,103 tweets. 1,246 following. 6,844 followers.

How are you? - me, at my most insincere

22 August 2012 Token Geezer ‏@Token_Geezer [^118.16] https://twitter.com/Token_Geezer/status/238181424522481664

His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I'm just a minor threat. Location: London.

http://favstar.fm/users/Token_Geezer - 30,079 tweets. 862 following. 8,334 followers.

What do you think of the punctuation above? Would you punctuate this tweet differently? This sentence can be used in imitation exercises.

Whenever someone asks how i'm doing & walks away before i answer..

I write "GREAT" on the side of thier car with my keys!

26 June 20 12 Steven Hall ‏@HallpassCanada [^118.17] https://twitter.com/HallpassCanada/status/217647473240453120 His bio and stats on 1 November 2012: Just my random thoughts and feelings on stuff. Location: Hamilton Ontario. http://favstar.fm/users/Hallpasscanada/recent - 42,356 tweets. 11,150 following. 13,839 followers.

"How was your weekend?"

"Good."

That's the COMPLETE convo.

NEVER stray from this script.

Thank you.

13 August 2012 Bill Mc7 ‏@BillMc7 [^118.18] https://twitter.com/billmc7/status/235028057965096960 His bio and stats on 14 December 2012: Writer for Ladies' Home Journal and Penthouse Forum. Location: Los Angeles · http://favstar.fm/users/BillMc7 - 5,933 tweets. 1,238 following. 31,033 followers. convo = conversation.

Have a day!

Friday morning, 2 November 2012 Not the Lord ‏@byronblurb [^118.19] https://twitter.com/byronblurb/status/264345756159311872 His bio: skilled at the art of changing the subject; unlimited fountain of useless nonsense; usually able to finish 2 cheeseburgers with no problem. Location: Close enough to come visit. · http://www.favstar.fm/users/byronblurb/recent - 10,007 tweets. 5,593 following. 6,024 followers.

I hate morning people. and mornings. and people.

4 August 2012 Mariam Eltawil ‏@MariamEltawil [^118.20] https://twitter.com/mariameltawil/status/231953529017868289 Her bio and stats 24 August 2012: I wake up in the morning and piss excellence. 3,809 tweets. 177 following. 1,044 followers. No account found with this ID on 18 February 2013.

Serious question: Do I have to say hello to coworkers that I said hello to yesterday?

29 September 2011 lauren caltagirone @MrsRupertPupkin [^118.21] https://twitter.com/#!/MrsRupertPupkin/status/119500311676194816 Her bio and stats on 9 May 2013: I live in a hovel! And you live in a townhouse! I can't believe this girl! Location: los angeles · http://favstar.fm/users/MrsRupertPupkin - 2,881 tweets. 518 following. 73,932 followers.

Dear work colleagues, I say good morning but frankly I don't care if you live or die.

18 July 2012 captain sidcup ‏@captainsidcup [^118.22] https://twitter.com/captainsidcup/status/225846240213098497 His bio and stats on 15 March 2013: The bi-polar musings of a rampant, unrepentant social recluse. Photographer. Collector, Geek. Oddball. Never satisfied. Rarely replies/No DM's. Location: The Naughty Step. Kent. UK. · http://www.captainsidcup.com - 24,469 tweets. 963 following/. 1,612 followers.

I'd love to stay and chat, but I'm lying

7 December 2013 donni ‏@donni [^118.23] https://twitter.com/donni/status/409547745716736000 Bio: I'm Donni Saphire, jokesayer and bird wrestler. I hover around Second City. Writing and planning new live shows, podcasts and nude encounters. Please love me. Location: Chicago city limits · favstar.fm/users/donni/recent - 11,604 tweets. 902 following. 35,384 followers.

stress-smiling

5 January 2014 NYT Minus Context ‏@NYTMinusContext [^118.24] https://twitter.com/NYTMinusContext/status/419842485423456256 Bio and stats on 17 January 2014: All Tweets Verbatim From New York Times Content. Not Affiliated with New York Times. Follow @NYTPlusContext for context. NYTMinusContext@gmail.com - 1,244 tweets. 911 following. 10.854 followers.

The New York Times @nytimes [^118.25] Twitter bio and stats on 17 January 2014: Where the conversation begins. Follow for breaking news, special reports, http://NYTimes.com homepage links and RTs of our journalists. Location: New York City · nytimes.com -124,082 tweets. 854 following. 10,681,262 followers.

"Wear a mask, work alone, and never talk to anybody" -Batman, if he was smarter.

2 May 2012 Rock God ‏@redpawn3 [^118.26] https://twitter.com/#!/redpawn3/status/197723832528814080 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Solitary Dad, with my kids 5/6 out of 14 days. Location: Backstage · http://favstar.fm/users/redpawn3 - 58,559 tweets. 3,037 following. 5,069 followers.

I would love to reach a level of success in my life where I feel as though I am doing everyone a favor just by talking to them.

18 January 2013 Angelina ‏@AngelinaAnnora [^118.27] https://twitter.com/AngelinaAnnora/status/292478368564252672 Her bio and stats on 6 February 2013: In the middle of endless realities intersecting, illusions & all. 26 Instagram: AngelinaAnnora – Location: Oregon. 5,115 tweets. 473 following. 545 followers.

People who know me, may or may not know me.

28 July 2012 Noor Shamma ‏@NoorShamma [^118.28] https://twitter.com/noorshamma/status/229465688891346944 Her bio and stats on 13 February 2013: I don't cry. No one's worth my boogers. http://noorshamma.tumblr.com [Instagram: noorshamma] Location: Not Found · favstar.fm/users/NoorShamma - 4,775 tweets. 785 following. 5,324 followers. "Not found" are her words in her profile.

There's nothing creepier than normal people.

20 August 2012 christine ‏@thesupergrobi [^118.29] https://twitter.com/thesupergrobi/status/237679592742191104 Her bio and stats on 28 November 2012: Ich bin eine Lady. Location: all those old fashioned places · http://favstar.fm/users/thesupergrobi \- 7,445 tweets. 644 following. 5,067 followers.

I will always be offended by your good mood

6 July 2012 Ali ‏@alibaby90 [^118.30] https://twitter.com/alibaby90/status/221309515210035200 Her bio and stats on 12 January 2013: Undergraduate at Devry. Masters from University of Phoenix. 3,906 tweets. 202 following. 5,613 followers.

I hate "people" people.

29 November 2011 Shira @shiraselko [^118.31] https://twitter.com/#!/shiraselko/status/141670103006724096 Her Twitter bio and stats on 7 June 2013: Improviser. 5'1. Pittsburgh sports fan. Opprobrious. Contributor to WitStream. Location: Hoboken, NJ · http://witstream.com/#shira_selkovits - 8,204 tweets. 821 following. 9,188 followers.

My co-workers' are constantly confusing me with someone who cares about their lives.

15 October 2010 It's Mel-o-dy, bitch @iMelbel [^118.32] https://twitter.com/#!/iMelbel/status/27470797301 Her Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 28 August 2013, when her account was found to have been set to private: iMelbel @iMelbel - This piece of string cheese is longer than my attention span. Location: I live and stumble around LA · favstar.fm/users/iMelbel - 5,212 tweets. 309 following. 2,455 followers.

**I like to say to my coworkers, "That's so funny!"** , **and never laugh.**

11 January 2013 PoisonedWellBaby ‏@katy_baybay [^118.33] https://twitter.com/katy_baybay/status/289763067334643712 Her bio and stats on 14 January 2013: Two handles, @IngestMyBabies and @xSarcasticx1 are all you need to be happy. Cough drops don't work for smokers cough, moron. Location: Fla-duh · http://favstar.fm/users/katy_baybay/recent - 40,662 tweets. 2,602 following. 5,197 followers.

Nice try, people who talk to me.

13 August 2012 Mrs Peauxtatohead ‏@NotJPo [^118.34] https://twitter.com/notjpo/status/235020656469741568 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: All my tweets are 100% true, idiot. (name courtesy of @SweetTweetsBRO). Location: Peauxland · http://favstar.fm/users/NotJPo/status/245683543525711872 - 11,835 tweets. 1,983 following. 18,682 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 15 December 2013: I have PMS. 16,932 tweets. 2,187 following. 26,140 followers.

Want attention from someone who is ignoring you?

Have you tried irritating them?

31 August 2012 Ghetto Trophy ‏@Ghetto_Trophy [^118.35] https://twitter.com/Ghetto_Trophy/status/241709128911839232 Her bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I'm the Forrest Gump of this place. http://ghettotrophy.tumblr.com/ Location: United Nations/San Francisco · http://favstar.fm/users/Ghetto_Trophy/recent - 38,533 tweets. 3,560 following. 7,789 followers.

What part of "I'm ignoring you with my headphones" don't you understand?

12 August 2012 Dany ‏@DanOverHere [^118.36] https://twitter.com/DanOverHere/status/234607095436165120 His bio and stats on 6 May 2013: My mom doesn't even think I'm special. Location: Beirut. 2,742 tweets. 451 following. 5,817 followers.

While I'm sure you find yourself fascinating, I struggle to agree.

30 April 2011 Comment by brain_drain the day after the royal wedding, posted below an article on the subject: "Royal wedding: what did the wedding tell the world about this nation of ours? All human life was on display in Westminster Abbey – and all of it was mesmerising, writes Charles Moore." By Charles Moore, The Telegraph, 29 April 2011. On 28 August 2013, the article's URL did not resolve properly after being pasted or typed into a browser address bar, but the page was still live on that date and could be found by searching for a portion of the article's title in a search engine: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/royal-wedding/8484340/Royal-wedding-what-did-the-wedding-tell-the-world-about-this-nation-of-ours.html.

The identity of brain_drain [^118.37] is a mystery. Profile page on 28 August 2013: http://my.telegraph.co.uk/members/brain_drain/

No Twitter ID found on 28 August 2013 for Charles Moore [^118.38].

Twitter bio and stats of The Telegraph @Telegraph [^118.39] on 28 December 2012: News and comment from The Daily Telegraph and The Sunday Telegraph. Info about new products & promotions. Please say hello if we can help. Run by @kate_day. Location: London, UK · http://www.telegraph.co.uk/ - 155,771 tweets. 173 following. 161,542 followers.

"Shut up. Shut up. Shut UP. SHUT UP. SHUT THE FUCK UP!" - My inner dialogue during 97% of all situations involving small talk.

9 October 2012 Viva La Moi ‏@bobbiejo448 [^118.40] https://twitter.com/bobbiejo448/status/255802784392290304 Her Twitter bio and stats on 28 August 2013: Not always here; Never gone forever. Anti-Twitter politics. Save the drama. I like everything you hate so we prob can't be friends. Superheroes are my thang. Location: With Alice on the moon. · favstar.fm/users/bobbiejo448 - 21,270 tweets. 3,109 following. 7,661 followers.

Neat story, please have me notified when you're dead on the outside too.

18 September 2012 Puddin ‏@PuddingBoobs [^118.41] https://twitter.com/PuddingBoobs/status/248031514393190400 Her bio and stats on 2 November 2012: passive-aggressive, stage 7 clinger, all around terrible person. I'm the reason we can't have nice things. Location: Minneapolis, MN. 6,835 tweets. 794 following. 16,690 followers.

None of us are actually wondering anything about you or your day, we're all too busy thinking up our next tweet. In case you were wondering.

31 July 2012 Just Lee ‏@Just_Lee_ [^118.42] https://twitter.com/Just_Lee_/status/230240301858578432 Her bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I have Twitter Tourette Syndrome. Its a real thing. And its incurable. So fuck it. http://favstar.fm/users/just_lee_ - 21,957 tweets. 1,755 following. 10,934 followers. Her bio and stats on 15 April 2014: Lets not make this personal. 781 tweets. 487 following. 2,306 followers.

I just found out a coworker has been out sick all week. Hadn't noticed. Yet one of you guys doesn't tweet for a day and I go into a panic.

30 September 2011 KBC ‏@k_beec [^118.43] https://twitter.com/k_beec/status/119826345848086528 Her bio and stats 16 August 2012: I like to watch. Location: San Juan, Puerto Rico. 6,192 tweets. 1,796 following. 1,777 followers.

Not checking twitter while talking to you is my sincerest form of flattery

1 August 2012 Chronic Cynic ‏@cynicdoc [^118.44] https://twitter.com/cynicdoc/status/230717202880417792 His bio and stats 16 August 2012: I'd rather leave you with plausible deniability. 4,019 tweets. 2,029 following. 2,164 followers.

'Be yourself' is about the worst advice you can give to some people.

26 June 2012 angie ‏@LuvPug [^118.45] https://twitter.com/LuvPug/status/217808003901034498 Her bio and stats on 30 October 2012: Imperfect & open hearted. Pug, music and life loving mom & randomly inappropriate. I'm saving myself for divorce for @thedayofthedot so she knows it's real. Location: Near a random cornfield · http://favstar.fm/users/LuvPug/recent - 12,473 tweets. 4,680 following. 6,668 followers.

Angry, oversensitive and retaliatory. That's a reasonable combination. If you're 3.

30 November 2008 delfie @delfie [^118.46] on Favrd. URL lost. Her Twitter bio and stats on 5 March 2013: Despite all evidence to the contrary, I'm a nice chick, just your average, bulletproof chick. 448 tweets. 93 following. 863 followers. Her most recent tweet as of 31 March 2014 was dated 23 January 2010.

Everybody should just wear their warning labels.

1 August 2012 Fucking Awesome ‏@AllInFunTX [^118.47] https://twitter.com/AllInFunTX/status/230730516532441088 \- No Twitter account found with this ID on 28 August 2013.

**Some people need signs dangling from their necks saying, "don't feed the ego"**.

8 October 2012 Pelsjas @elsaPelsjas [^118.48] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/255261481283772416 Her bio: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 8,033 tweets. 1,530 following. 1,179 followers.

amazing to watch people's face in conversation as ego sweeps across it ..

15 May 2014 gregorylent ‏@gregorylent [^118.49] https://twitter.com/gregorylent/status/466901927704264704 Bio and stats on 16 May 2014: art. photography. global transformation. multi-dimensional realities, emptiness as value. quit twitter three times, here again. Location: china, india, and in-between. 41,808 tweets. 1,934 following. 1,630 followers.

I'll stop. But I'm not going to collaborate or listen.

8 August 2012 Ghetto Trophy ‏@Ghetto_Trophy [^118.50] https://twitter.com/Ghetto_Trophy/status/233408177155223552

Her bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I'm the Forrest Gump of this place. http://ghettotrophy.tumblr.com/ Location: United Nations/San Francisco · http://favstar.fm/users/Ghetto_Trophy/recent - 38,533 tweets. 3,560 following. 7,789 followers.

I won't answer that because I think it's a gateway question.

1 October 2012 Jimmer Cork-Bottle ‏@JimmerThatisAll [^118.51] https://twitter.com/JimmerThatisAll/status/252895326128717824 His bio and stats on 14 November 2012: From the twelve winded sky. That photo is older than you are. We're in this together. Follow friends of the month @Isitthattime @k_beec @madamesnooty Location: Corktown. Canada. http://favstar.fm/users/JimmerThatisAll/recent - 51,947 tweets. 4,629 following. 5,213 followers.

That question is too good to spoil with an answer.

27 December 2012 TommyTheBarbarian ‏@TommyyGun [^118.52] https://twitter.com/TommyyGun/status/284466223054462976 His bio and stats on 15 February 2013: favstar.fm/users/TommyyGun - 3,792 tweets. 681 following. 686 followers.

Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all.

28 September 2012 Not the Lord ‏@byronblurb [^118.53] https://twitter.com/byronblurb/status/251877473300643840

His bio and stats on 2 November 2012: skilled at the art of changing the subject; unlimited fountain of useless nonsense; usually able to finish 2 cheeseburgers with no problem. Location: Close enough to come visit. · http://www.favstar.fm/users/byronblurb/recent - 10,007 tweets. 5,593 following. 6,024 followers.

Silence is just polite criticism.

20 August 2012 Bitch_In_Me ‏@BitchingMe [^118.54] https://twitter.com/BitchingMe/status/237612137047007233 Her bio and stats on 13 January 2013: If you can't handle bitches, fuck off. My DM has autodelete function. In love with my Reality so don't bother. Location: Somewhere but not there · http://favstar.fm/users/BitchingMe/recent - 15,803 tweets. 9,647 following. 10,255 followers.

More random acts of silence please.

12 January 2013 Rusty ‏@PeaceInTruth1 [^118.55] https://twitter.com/PeaceInTruth1/status/290071408732680192 Bio and stats on 13 January 2013: Owned by 2 dogs, professional bullshitter, mixer of words, and tells it like it is. Location: North America · http://favstar.fm/users/peaceintruth1/recent - 18,830 tweets. 1,790 following. 6,992 followers.

Don't haunt me until I've had my coffee.

22 March 2014 Friedrice Nietzsche @TinyNietzsche [^118.56] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/447434395088347136 Bio: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 18,169 tweets. 755 following. 31,962 followers.

Me: Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee.

Coworker: You don't drink coffee?

Me: Exactly

4 June 2012 Michael Rock ‏@TheMichaelRock [^118.57] https://twitter.com/TheMichaelRock/status/209611755343724544 Bio: Yeah, I'm that handsome. 2,481 followers. His Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 28 August 2013: Rock @TheMichaelRock - Yeah, I'm that handsome....With @TheDanielleRock we are Twitter's #1 Power Couple! Recognize, bitches! http://favstar.fm/users/TheMichaelRock/recent - 60,501 tweets. 3,124 following. 19,537 followers.

Don't even talk to me until I've had my fifth cup of never.

18 August 2012 Mayor Baconator ‏@tigersgoroooar [^118.58] https://twitter.com/tigersgoroooar/status/236912403160379393 Her screen name, bio and stats on 31 January 2013: Pony Starwars. Hey! Must be the money. team vagussy. Location: FUCKTOWN · twitter.com - 3,436 tweets. 545 following. 18,182 followers.

Don't even try talking to me in the morning until I've had my first duel

29 October 2012 bllix ‏@bllix [^118.59] https://twitter.com/bllix/status/262913455974146048 Her bio and stats on 30 October 2012: Electronic music producer/knob-twiddler, MYLF, Multilingual programmer, Attorney at LOL, Thug 4 Life, Laundromancer, METAL AS FVCK. Damn, Gina. Location: Portland, OR. · http://bllix.tumblr.com - 12,746 tweets. 501 following. 4,516 followers.

Don't talk to me 'till I've had my morning breakdown.

15 February 2013 I Hate Kate ‏@SuperApple8 [^118.60] https://twitter.com/SuperApple8/status/302396259682103296 Her bio: Life is like a box of chocolate. I hate chocolate. favstar.fm/users/SuperApple - 5,947 tweets. 1,579 following. 7,965 followers. @kirbys4losers found as ‏@SuperApple8 on 29 October 2012. On 23 April 2013 no account found for either @kirbys4losers or ‏@SuperApple8.

The best time to tell somebody to shut the fuck up is right in the middle of their sentence.

10 June 2012 Kervin Ferreira ‏@kervinf [^118.61] https://twitter.com/kervinf/status/212034849723269120 His bio and stats on 5 November 2012: Graphic designer. Lover of all that is cool. Expert of awesome. Location: ENY, Brooklyn. · http://iamcreativ.com/ - 9,233 tweets. 1,245 following. 5,283 followers.

I could listen to you shut up all day.

22 October 2012 Carla Whaat ‏@carlawh [^118.62] https://twitter.com/carlawh/status/260549505982812161 Bio and stats on 24 October 2012: I'm silly. 6,547 tweets. 1,498 following. 3,301 followers.

I'm not antisocial.

I'm anti-idiot.

26 June 2012 Moiste Porque ‏@MoistPork [^118.63] https://twitter.com/MoistPork/status/217663696435027969 Her bio and stats on 24 October 2012: Take everything I say seriously. Please. Location: The Meat Locker · http://favstar.fm/users/moistpork - 5,555 tweets. 803 following. 13,211 followers.

My workplace is full of social workers, all they do is stand around at their fucking desks and chat.

3 September 2012 Aspersioncast ‏@Aspersioncast [^118.64] https://twitter.com/aspersioncast/status/242865547879006208 Location: Perth Australia. 18,003 tweets. 17,329 following. 18,545 followers. Italics added. His bio and stats on 6 May 2013: This is where idiots trying to be ironic write their Starsigns. Location: I'm not at work. · http://favstar.fm/users/AspersionCast/recent - 19,922 tweets. 8,442 following. 24,857 followers.

Oh here's your nose back, I found it in my business.

10 October 2012 Pelsjas @elsaPelsjas [^118.65] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/256027758700945409 \- Her bio: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 8,206 tweets. 1,556 following. 1,217 followers.

i just wanna bitch and have coffee all day long.

31 January 2013 sweet p ‏@preawsaurus [^118.66] https://twitter.com/preawsaurus/status/296926027731578880 Her bio and stats on 4 March 2013: i am nice. at least that's the way i perceive myself. i could be wrong. Location: Tellus · http://favstar.fm/users/preawsaurus 13,455 tweets. 822 following. 9,129 followers.

I can gossip like everybody's business.

10 July 2012 Aparna Nancherla ‏@aparnapkin [^118.67] https://twitter.com/aparnapkin/status/222847979541889025 Her bio and stats on 21 November 2012: I am a scrunched up napkin with recyclable dreams. Also a comedian in some cultures. Total drag in others. Location: NY/LA sidewalk nook · http://www.aparnacomedy.com - 3,816 tweets. 1,381 following. 17,864 followers.

Next time someone asks if I have kids, I will reply with "they took her!!"

That will spread around the office much quicker than a simple no.

28 May 2012 Krissy ‏@KriddyE [^118.68] https://twitter.com/kriddye/status/207129828061753345 No Twitter account with this ID found on 28 August 2013.

I love talking about my medical history. My coworkers know me inside and out!

30 June 2011 Jocelyn TestesHarder @FilthyRichmond [^118.69] https://twitter.com/#!/FilthyRichmond/status/86521033397501952 Twitter bio and stats on 5 March 2013 for Jocelyn Plums @FilthyRichmond - Kiss Mommy's cold sore and make it better! #RVA http://FilthyRichmond.com Location: Richmond, VA · http://favstar.fm/users/filthyrichmond/recent - 9,914 tweets. 3,384 following. 65,783 followers.

I seem to be having difficulty controlling THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE!!

16 August 2011 The Office Prick ‏@theofficeprick [^118.70] https://twitter.com/theofficeprick/status/103446885855014914 Twitter bio and stats on 26 October 2013: Documenting and chronicling the daily actions of The Office Prick. Yes, these are true. 112 tweets. 48 following. 61 followers. On 26 October 2013, this account's most recent tweet was dated 13 January 2012.

"My turn! My turn!" –Conversations

26 August 19 December 2012 kdn ‏@kdn13 [^118.71] https://twitter.com/kdn13/status/239784769246883842 Her bio and stats on 21 December 2012: I have a weakness for split infinitives. Location: Bay Area, CA · instagram.com/kdnthirteen - 4,778 tweets. 258 following. 20,211 followers.

It's funny how some days I can't think of anything to say and other days I just can't stop.

13 June 2012 D ‏@heartlessX0 - https://twitter.com/heartlessX0/status/212878719482732544 Her screen name, ID, bio and stats on 29 January 2013: ddscrap @ddscrap [^118.72] Don't disturb me. I'm trying to become a better bum. Location: Searching... 1,071 tweets. 535 following. 3,035 followers.

I never have anything to say but I'm always talking.

28 October 2011 Shira @shiraselko [^118.73] https://twitter.com/#!/shiraselko/status/130092198841679872 Her Twitter bio and stats on 7 June 2013: Improviser. 5'1. Pittsburgh sports fan. Opprobrious. Contributor to WitStream. Location: Hoboken, NJ · http://witstream.com/#shira_selkovits - 8,204 tweets. 821 following. 9,188 followers.

I know everyone in the office is concerned with every problem that I have.

1 August 2011 The Office Prick ‏@theofficeprick [^118.74] https://twitter.com/theofficeprick/status/98017100823662592 Twitter bio and stats on 26 October 2013: Documenting and chronicling the daily actions of The Office Prick. Yes, these are true. 112 tweets. 48 following. 61 followers. On 26 October 2013, this account's most recent tweet was dated 13 January 2012.

"She was the kinda girl who could talk a brick wall into a grave" - My favourite author.

4 February 2013 Kerry Beetge ‏@KerryBeetge [^118.75] https://twitter.com/KerryBeetge/status/298446755375247361 Her bio and stats on 8 February 2013: Kerry, Kerry quite contrary, how does your garden grow? With lights that dance and bugs that prance and ink that marks the snow. #copywriter Location: Cape Town, South Africa · http://www.kerrycontrary.com - 7,367 tweets. 982 following. 933 followers.

All noise, no signal.

22 September 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^118.76] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/381988689355620352 Twitter bio and stats on 30 December 2013 for this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 17,120 tweets. 729 following. 28,655 followers.

Those people who don't immediately tell you all about themselves often turn out to be the ones who have the most interesting things to say.

7 January 2013 Aspersioncast ‏@Aspersioncast [^118.77] https://twitter.com/Aspersioncast/status/288536048374538240 His bio and stats on 6 May 2013: This is where idiots trying to be ironic write their Starsigns. Location: I'm not at work. · http://favstar.fm/users/AspersionCast/recent - 19,922 tweets. 8,442 following. 24,857 followers.

I hate it when I ask someone how they're doing and they take it literally

4 February 2012 Rez ‏@ragazzel [^118.78] https://twitter.com/ragazzel/status/165791934596657152 Her bio and stats on 29 April 2013: A happy monkey stuck in a human suit, raised by the sea. Location: Egypt. 1,870 tweets. 404 following. 1,081 followers.

Most people's greatest fault is not knowing when to end a conversation.

15 September 2012 Kervin Ferreira ‏@kervinf [^118.79] https://twitter.com/kervinf/status/247065813578829824 Bio: Graphic designer. Lover of all that is cool. Expert of awesome. Location: ENY, Brooklyn. 8,657 tweets. 1,141 following. 5,020 followers.

I'm starting to think the ability to stay silent is a sign of intelligence.

6 January 2013 The Goddess ‏@eTHEgoddess [^118.80] https://twitter.com/eTHEgoddess/status/288139798735110144 Bio and stats on 21 April 2013: I wish people were smarter... Or quieter. 9,868 tweets. 683 following. 9,176 followers.

I just bought a cowbell to beat on when I want to end conversations with people.

23 August 2012 Misha BBQJones ‏@mishakey [^118.81] https://twitter.com/mishakey/status/238610708391149568 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I'm actually a pretty terrible person once you get to know me. Location: The Trailer Park, Texas · http://favstar.fm/users/mishakey - 12,233 tweets. 8,650 following. 9,324 followers.

i like people so much, i've decided to stop talking to them.

27 July 2012 sweet p ‏@preawsaurus [^118.82] https://twitter.com/preawsaurus/status/229033240088965123 Her bio and stats on 8 November 2012: i am nice. at least that's the way i perceive myself. i could be wrong. Location: Tellus · http://favstar.fm/users/preawsaurus/most_retweeted - 12,197 tweets. 910 following. 8,090 followers.

You should change your name to something more descriptive.

14 October 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^118.83] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/257725834616528896 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 14,015 tweets. 3,128 following. 9,547 followers.

Nicknames are WAY more fun when people don't know they have them.

15 July 2012 Renee ‏@nayele18 [^118.84] https://twitter.com/nayele18/status/224548405140144129 Her Twitter bio and stats on 30 July 2013: I don't play well with others. Location: shopping, probably · favstar.fm/users/nayele18 - 10,491 tweets. 648 following. 7,106 followers.

They call me "Big Love" at the office because I have three work wives.

13 October 2011 Manish ‏@savvystrider [^118.85] https://twitter.com/#!/savvystrider/status/124471175840673792 His Twitter bio and stats on 4 August 2013: I like everything you like. Location: Not there · http://favstar.fm/users/savvystrider/recent - 3,314 tweets. 7,304 following. 7,268 followers.

I'm a bitch in the boardroom, a slut in the file room, and I puked in the break room.

22 July 2011 Jocelyn TestesHarder @FilthyRichmond [^118.86] https://twitter.com/#!/FilthyRichmond/status/94486824667455488 Twitter bio and stats on 5 March 2013 for Jocelyn Plums @FilthyRichmond - Kiss Mommy's cold sore and make it better! #RVA http://FilthyRichmond.com Location: Richmond, VA · http://favstar.fm/users/filthyrichmond/recent - 9,914 tweets. 3,384 following. 65,783 followers.

Just scanned my face and sent it to every printer in the building. Because fun!

(Everyone here hates me.)

4 July 2012 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^118.87] https://twitter.com/schmoodles/status/220473168152903681 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. She was in England.

I'm the only one who fell for the 'naked at work Thursday' email.

23 June 2011 The Boy Wondering @Robski_Boy [^118.88] https://twitter.com/#!/Robski_Boy/status/83853465058676737 His bio and stats on 6 November 2012: Let's all have a nice cup of tea. Location: Englandshire · http://favstar.fm/users/Robski_Boy/recent \- 7,340 tweets. 7,127 following. 7,019 followers.

My coworker didn't refill her candy jar so my day is pretty much fucked THANKS A LOT LINDA

9 November 2011 alyssa k-diggles‏ @kramediggles [^118.89] https://twitter.com/#!/kramediggles/status/134286120975470592 Her bio and stats on 10 March 2013: Former high school valedictorian, beauty queen and Olympic athlete. I'M KIDDING NONE OF THIS IS TRUE! YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN YOUR FACE! Location: Pittsburgh, PA. 1,525 tweets. 400 following. 7,949 followers.

My co-worker is going to freak the fuck out when she comes back & notices the framed pictures of her pets are now framed pictures of me.

7 July 2010 Katie L @SheBanggs [^118.90] https://twitter.com/SheBanggs/status/17982116319 Her bio and stats on 29 May 2013: That's me in the corner. I kiss like a fish, but never cry like a lover. Location: On The Street Where You Live · favstar.fm/users/SheBanggs - 3,421 tweets. 867 following. 13,159 followers.

Yes. Please. Touch my computer screen. Now all I can see is that smudge. Perfect.

14 September 2013 Gary Owen ‏@ElSnarkistani \- https://twitter.com/ElSnarkistani/status/378779616900808704 Twitter bio: Married. Cynic. Pseudonymous blogger. For all Afghanistan all the time, follow me over @Sunny_In_Kabul. Also at @AANAfgh, @Medium, @blurbistan. Location: Afghanistan, currently · about.me/Gary_Owen - 33,104 tweets. 772 following. 3,397 followers. His Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 11 January 2014: Gary Owen @GWOT_Hipster - Previously ElSnarkistani. Full time husband/introvert, part-time pseudonymous blogger. Also @Sunny_In_Kabul. Contributor to @AANAfgh. Location: Afghanistan, currently · sunnyinkabul.com - 36,715 tweets. 942 following. 3,361 followers. GWOT = Global War On Terror, which began on 7 October 2001. It had its origins in the 1980s. On 26 March 2014 he was found to have reverted to El Snarkistani ‏@ElSnarkistani [^118.91].

If you have more than three action figures on your desk you are qualified to provide Internet technical support

26 June 2011 Jocelyn TestesHarder @FilthyRichmond [^118.92] https://twitter.com/#!/FilthyRichmond/status/85121958521479168 Twitter bio and stats on 5 March 2013 for Jocelyn Plums @FilthyRichmond - Kiss Mommy's cold sore and make it better! #RVA http://FilthyRichmond.com Location: Richmond, VA · http://favstar.fm/users/filthyrichmond/recent - 9,914 tweets. 3,384 following. 65,783 followers.

Just once, I'd like my co-workers to not be able to guess what the toddler had for breakfast by looking at my shirt or pants.

16 May 2012 Daddy Nick ‏@DaddyNick [^118.93] https://twitter.com/#!/DaddyNick/status/202747624812589056 On 4 May 2013 this Twitter account was found to have been abandoned and then reopened on 12 April 2013 by someone else.

I want to call attention to an overlooked travesty in offices across America, and probably everywhere else: The communal kitchen sponge.

22 August 2013 mariya pylayev ‏@mpylayev [^118.94] https://twitter.com/mpylayev/status/370626213494001664 Her Twitter bio and stats on 24 August 2013: web/video producer at @aolrealestate, @aoljobs and @daily_finance. likes biz, tech, space and data viz. Location: brooklyn, ny. 1,162 tweets. 333 following. 255 followers.

Adorable idea. Colleagues have been writing names on their food in the office fridge. I am currently eating a yoghurt called Debbie

24 March 2010 Mrs Joshua Homme @FussySaffa [^118.95] http://twitter.com/FussySaffa/status/10983931671 Her Twitter bio and stats on 28 August 2013: South African living in the UK. 25% of the adult British population has never eaten an olive. Location: London · favstar.fm/users/FussySaffa - 3,516 tweets. 537 following. 2,559 followers.

" **It that milk for everyone?" – a thought every poor intern has.**

14 November 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^118.96] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/268720556218675200 Her bio: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,223 tweets. 1,918 following. 1,773 followers.

Not many things intrigue me as much as a box of leftovers in a refrigerator that I do not own.

3 September 2011 Jordan @JordyHamrick [^118.97] https://twitter.com/#!/JordyHamrick/status/110200228002541568 His Twitter bio and stats on 28 August 2013: Homeless giraffe. Location: Ohio · witstream.com. 12,906 tweets. 521 following. 12,676 followers.

I brought in a dozen doughnuts for my coworkers to watch me eat.

27 June 2011 Jocelyn TestesHarder @FilthyRichmond [^118.98] https://twitter.com/#!/FilthyRichmond/status/85420578160394241 Twitter bio and stats on 5 March 2013 for Jocelyn Plums @FilthyRichmond - Kiss Mommy's cold sore and make it better! #RVA http://FilthyRichmond.com Location: Richmond, VA · http://favstar.fm/users/filthyrichmond/recent - 9,914 tweets. 3,384 following. 65,783 followers.

Our CIO is having a farewell party right now.

He's a great guy and all,

but holy hell,

that cake is my main focus right now.

3 February 2012 Michael B Inlaoninni ‏@mikeinla09 [^118.99] https://twitter.com/mikeinla09/status/165580651830059008 His bio and stats on 16 November 2012: Equus africanus asinus. http://concerning-z.tumblr.com/ Location: Los Angeles · http://favstar.fm/users/mikeinla09/recent - 26,063 tweets. 2,096 following. 1,918 followers.

When snacks get stuck in the vending machine at work, they call me. No snacks left behind on my watch.

6 July 2012 Janelle ‏@Cornfed210 [^118.100] https://twitter.com/Cornfed210/status/221292759657627649 Her Twitter bio and stats on 27 July 2012: Don't expect much and you won't be let down. Location: North Carolina. 428 tweets. 221 following. 180 followers. No Twitter account with this ID found on 23 August 2013.

_One Tweet MBA_ **: Hey, Miss "there are treats in the breakroom". It's almost July. I know how old those fucking Peeps are from Easter. Thanks.**

27 June 2011 Buck @buck4itt [^118.101] https://twitter.com/#!/buck4itt/status/85442276456804352 His bio and stats on 5 January 2013: American Humorist in a van wearing loose fitting shorts and holding a puppy. http://favstar.fm/users/buck4itt http://buck4itt.tumblr.com/ Under 18? Go away. Location: Northern California. 4,296 tweets. 9,308 following. 15,550 followers. Italics added.

Peeps refers here to marshmallow candies shaped like bunnies or chicks and coated with sugar. Peeps' popularity peaks during Easter holidays.

I'm most like Braveheart when they try taking away our free donuts at staff meetings.

Good men died. Generations will speak of this day.

8 May 2012 Aristotles ‏@AristotlesNZ [^118.102] https://twitter.com/#!/AristotlesNZ/status/199990840456773633 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: My avi is one of 3 reasons why I live and why I drink. Father of 3 little boys. Husband of 1 Wife. Location: Under the Down Under · http://favstar.fm/users/AristotlesNZ/recent - 13,213 tweets. 2,378 following. 11,033 followers.

I'm going to make a movie about my job. Who wants to play the overly dramatic receptionist who needs to get the fuck over herself?

30 September 2010 Stephanie @TerminalSingles [^118.103] https://twitter.com/#!/TerminalSingles/status/26016691762 No Twitter account found with this ID on 28 August 2013. She appears to have twittercided in 2011.

I need an understudy.

10 December 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^118.104] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/278103294650511360 Her bio and stats on 1 February 2013: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 12,366 tweets. 1,884 following. 1,930 followers.

im starting to think that people don't find melodramatic attitudes attractive

7 October 2012 rachel facial ‏@thegingerjew_ [^118.105] https://twitter.com/thegingerjew_/status/255122892906434560 Her bio: its ok, i disgust me too. http://favstar.fm/users/thegingerjew_ - 1,531 tweets. 303 following. 261 followers.

Listening to someone bitch & nag is fucking exhausting!

24 August 2011 Jenipher ‏@jehujeni [^118.106] https://twitter.com/jehujeni/status/106563216586457088 Her bio and stats on 20 December 2012: ✧Staring out the window ~ Daydreaming✧⋆ My tweets, like a bunch of Bouncy Balls All Over the Place. http://favstar.fm/users/jehujeni - 38,093 tweets. 1,601 following. 2,736 followers.

Stuff gets to me because I want it to!

8 October 2012 Pelsjas @elsaPelsjas [^118.107] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/255329939048509441 Her bio: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 8,033 tweets. 1,530 following. 1,179 followers.

I'll help myself, please don't trouble yourself with heaping pathos on me.

3 September 2012 Rameeza Nizami ‏@RameezaNizami [^118.108] https://twitter.com/RameezaNizami/status/242747218812080128 Her bio and stats on 12 November 2012: Unauthorized, unofficial, etc etc. This isn't even me, really. Location: In an office, most of the time. 5,010 tweets. 890 following. 3,331 followers.

_Pathos_ – feelings of fear, pity, or sorrow – or the power to evoke them in literature or speech.

I'm against having emotions, I'm not against using them.

10 September 2012 Justine Nienaber ‏@punkystarfish [^118.109] https://twitter.com/punkystarfish/status/245234534868742145 Her stats on 9 October 2012: 12,380 tweets. 425 following. 878 followers. Her bio and stats on 28 November 2012: I tweet it up like Tweety bird | Social Media Gal @Talooma | Digital Guru in Training |Zimbabwean | Taller than you | Loves Pandas | Favourite time is 12:34. Location: I swam here from Zimbabwe · http://www.justinejoyit.co.za - 12,690 tweets. 507 following. 1,042 followers.

Coworker: Do you ever feel bad for...

Me: Let me stop you right there. No.

1 June 2012 Juddy ‏@iAmJuddy [^118.110] https://twitter.com/iamjuddy/status/208576758864281602 He had 7,695 followers. His bio and stats on 25 April 2013: Cynical, sarcastic asshole, and I'm fine with it, so piss off. I do not like you and I never will. Deal with it. Fuck you. Location: Infinity · http://favstar.fm/users/iAmJuddy - 22,941 tweets. 10,541 following. 21,492 followers.

No one gives a shit about you or your vacation countdown.

7 October 2011 Nikki Walter @TurboGrandma [^118.111] https://twitter.com/#!/TurboGrandma/status/122546441913769985 Her bio and stats on 8 May 2013: I am a comedian who contributes to http://WitStream.com , @LIFECOACHERS and the general decay of society. Location: Philadelphia · http://www.witstream.com/#nikki_walter - 9,995 tweets. 468 following. 19,143 followers.

Speaking of friends, how are your cats?

15 October 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^118.112] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/257737533658628096 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,223 tweets. 1,918 following. 1,773 followers.

Um. Dude I totally saw you peek around the corner of this cubicle. Could you have made it less creepy by saying hi???

10 August 2012 Angela ‏@EhhBartt [^118.113] https://twitter.com/EhhBartt/status/233930661705179137 Location: Alberta, Canada. 7,871 tweets, 3,170 following, 3,715 followers.

"Done!! Just so everyone else around me knows I finished something.

3 August 2011 The Office Prick ‏@theofficeprick [^118.114] https://twitter.com/theofficeprick/status/98732352951435264 Twitter bio and stats on 26 October 2013: Documenting and chronicling the daily actions of The Office Prick. Yes, these are true. 112 tweets. 48 following. 61 followers. On 26 October 2013, this account's most recent tweet was dated 13 January 2012.

Woman next to me clears her throat an average of 16 times per hour.

**WTF is in there?** # **CubicleLife**

1 May 2012 the Creeping Cougar ‏ @DeepSigh_ [^118.115] https://twitter.com/#!/DeepSigh_/status/197428248521605122 Her bio and follower count on 22 March 2012: just tweeting my random thoughts and observations. i eat the green m&m' s first. 389 followers. No Twitter account with this ID found on 10 May 2013.

I'm allergic to allergic people.

13 December 2012 Bill Mc7 ‏@BillMc7 [^118.116] https://twitter.com/BillMc7/status/279402525227102209 His bio and stats on 14 December 2012: Writer for Ladies' Home Journal and Penthouse Forum. Location: Los Angeles · http://favstar.fm/users/BillMc7 - 5,933 tweets. 1,238 following. 31,033 followers.

"Shut up" is a far more honest reply after somebody sneezes.

3 September 2012 the_moonface ‏@the_moonface [^118.117] https://twitter.com/the_moonface/status/242866299494084608 His bio: There should be a cleverly written paragraph about how unique and special I am written here. Same username for kik and Instagram. Location: A small body in orbit. 5,219 tweets. 3,015 following. 12,787 followers.

Some people laugh only to be heard laughing.

24 March 2012 Alec Sulkin ‏@thesulk [^118.118] https://twitter.com/thesulk/status/183718040339365888 His bio and stats on 22 November 2012: Breaker of Swift Mustache Hairs. Location: Los Angeles. 6,748 tweets. 836 following. 481,460 followers.

I don't hate anyone, I just wish some people would exist a lot more quietly.

18 August 2012 PrincessCandyEmpire ‏@llvvzz \- https://twitter.com/llvvzz/status/236987658189033472 Her bio and stats on 20 December 2012: I am not your perception of me. I control your perception of me. http://facebook.com/llvvzzz @llvvzzz for #FF Check out Tweet~Mates! at http://llvvzz.com - I Own A Chihuahua · http://favstar.fm/users/llvvzz - 1,985 tweets. 83,157 following. 83,737 followers. Indexed under her alternate ID: @lvvzz [^118.119].

**Someone who suffers from** _Misophonia_ **will often become angry at someone when they breathe or eat too loudly.**

4 June 2012 UberFacts ‏@UberFacts [^118.120] https://twitter.com/UberFacts/status/209702820209901568 Twitter bio and stats on 29 August 2013: The most unimportant things you'll never need to know. Location: Worldwide! · uber-facts.com. 41,563 tweets. 3 following. 4,929,797 followers. Italics and underlining added above. On 29 August 2013 this tweet was found to have 3,411 retweets and 1,325 stars. Italics added.

Why hasn't natural selection taken care of loud chewers yet?

11 November 2012 Ghetto Trophy ‏@Ghetto_Trophy [^118.121] https://twitter.com/Ghetto_Trophy/status/267575812583211008 Her bio and stats on 13 November 2012: I'm the Forrest Gump of this place. http://ghettotrophy.tumblr.com/ Location: United Nations/San Francisco · http://favstar.fm/users/Ghetto_Trophy/recent - 41,090 tweets. 3,602 following. 8,726 followers.

People who often chew gum are more likely to develop Temporomandibular Joint Disorder and have difficulty opening/closing their mouths.

6 August 2012 UberFacts ‏@UberFacts [^118.122] https://twitter.com/UberFacts/status/232404919842385920 Twitter bio and stats on 29 August 2013: The most unimportant things you'll never need to know. Location: Worldwide! · uber-facts.com. 41,563 tweets. 3 following. 4,929,797 followers.

Nothing more soothing than the sound of someone t.y.p.i.n.g.

1 December 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^118.123] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/274913458435284994 Her bio and stats on the next day: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,959 tweets. 1,609 following. 1,771 followers.

We all have a low opinion of each other at work, because we don't think much of anyone who can't get a better job.

29 August 2011 Kay Morgan @KayM77 [^118.124] https://twitter.com/#!/KayM77/status/108288174064812033 Her bio and stats on 14 March 2013: I'm on Twitter. 18,872 tweets. 248 following. 1,615 followers.

It would be nice if I could lower the expectations people have for me the same way I've had to lower the expectations I have for them.

8 May 12 ☠Dead Soul Walking☠ ‏@That_Damn_Duck [^118.125] https://twitter.com/That_Damn_Duck/status/199933148912566272 His bio and stats on 7 November 2012: A horrible person who's an Êv¡£ Genius & sarcasm specialist. AudioBoo & Instagram same name Blocked by @snooki @ItalianBratikus is rents this space. Location: Lake Murray, South Carolina · http://favstar.fm/users/That_Damn_Duck/recent - 3,496 tweets. 993 following. 9,371 followers.

It's amazing how helpful coworkers are on bring your gun to work day.

22 July 2011 Mongrel Heart @TheBlessMess [^118.126] https://twitter.com/#!/TheBlessMess/status/97005179488043008 Her Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 30 June 2013: Scandinavian Leather @TheBlessMess - Dude, I can't talk right now. I'm too busy alienating the people I love and building a brand. 4,284 tweets. 1,043 following. 11,901 followers.

Seems like it's Bring Your Idiot Co-Worker To Work Day.

4 October 2011 Kevin Biggins ‏@TheBiggIdea [^118.127] https://twitter.com/#!/TheBiggIdea/status/121309164776591361 His bio and stats on 14 March 2013: Writer for Family Guy, Proponent Of Vanity. Location: Los Angeles. 3,896 tweets. 560 following. 40,050 followers.

I've never met a quiet idiot.

26 April 2012 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^118.128] https://twitter.com/schmoodles/status/195725844646330368 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

My coworkers who have never owned a business or worked at a managerial level know an awful lot about how to run a company.

Just ask them.

26 July 2011 Jonesy @WisdomBooth [^118.129] https://twitter.com/#!/WisdomBooth/status/95861721981386752 No Twitter account found with this ID on 21 July 2013.

Anyone using a stability ball as an office chair will be the most unstable person you'll ever work with.

10 October 2011 Lauren Greenberg @LaurenGberg - https://twitter.com/#!/LaurenGberg/status/123500383787171840 Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 2 June 2013: Lauren Greenberg @LaurenGreenberg [^118.130] TV Writer. In a really good place emotionally. Location: Los Angeles · instagram.com/laurengreenberg1 - 6,710 tweets. 466 following. 14,707 followers.

A stability ball may also called an exercise ball.

"I'm crazy but in a good way" ~ people who are crazy but in a bad way

20 September 2012 Just Lee ‏@Just_Lee_ [^118.131] https://twitter.com/Just_Lee_/status/248696440296198144 Her bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I have Twitter Tourette Syndrome. Its a real thing. And its incurable. So fuck it. http://favstar.fm/users/just_lee_ - 21,957 tweets. 1,755 following. 10,934 followers. Her bio and stats on 15 April 2014: Lets not make this personal. 781 tweets. 487 following. 2,306 followers.

If you're crazy just be crazy, don't sneak that shit up on a person.

24 April 2012 Jenna Violence ‏@coldlippdheresy [^118.132] https://twitter.com/coldlippdheresy/status/194834588563025920 Her bio and stats on 6 May 2013: Edna Pontellier complicated my life. Lettuce is the devil. Life is the crummiest book I ever read! Location: Hogwarts...maybe Colorado · favstar.fm/users/coldlippdheresy - 28,810 tweets. 1,552 following. 4,738 followers.

Define "crazy"

18 October 2012 E. Panda X ‏@EvilPandaX [^118.133] https://twitter.com/EvilPandaX/status/258957380434411521 Bio and stats the next day: You remind me of someone I once knew. She was Queen of the Netherlands. Location:

ÜT: 40.423942,-79.657025 http://favstar.fm/users/EvilPandaX - 25,874 tweets. 917 following. 2,531 followers.

I swear I really wish I was crazy enough to have actual voices in my head just so they would block out the annoying voices of my coworkers!

27 July 2012 ☠Dead Soul Walking☠ ‏@That_Damn_Duck [^118.134] https://twitter.com/That_Damn_Duck/status/228888986800762880 His bio and stats on 7 November 2012: A horrible person who's an Êv¡£ Genius & sarcasm specialist. AudioBoo & Instagram same name Blocked by @snooki @ItalianBratikus is rents this space. Location: Lake Murray, South Carolina · http://favstar.fm/users/That_Damn_Duck/recent - 3,496 tweets. 993 following. 9,371 followers.

I strike fear in the hearts of my co-workers by showing up every morning.

12 September 2011 Mongrel Heart @TheBlessMess [^118.135] https://twitter.com/#!/TheBlessMess/status/113308310006022144 Her Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 30 June 2013: Scandinavian Leather @TheBlessMess - Dude, I can't talk right now. I'm too busy alienating the people I love and building a brand. 4,284 tweets. 1,043 following. 11,901 followers.

Guys, guys, calm down. I'm a notary, everything's gonna be okay.

18 July 2012 Kat ‏@katdenk [^118.136] https://twitter.com/katdenk/status/225652454883221504 Her bio and stats on 4 February 2013: Someone told me this is the best place to find a babysitter. Location: more mid than west · http://favstar.fm/users/katdenk - 2,642 tweets. 993 following. 908 followers.

Currently buying 'Please don't hate me if I'm a tired, grumpy bitch today' muffins for the office.

12 March 2012 bee ‏@dosesofneurosis [^118.137] https://twitter.com/#!/dosesofneurosis/status/179150644748365824 No account with this ID found on 7 April 2013.

Making up fake resumes for my coworkers and submitting them for shitty jobs.

7 October 2010 This Charming Man @Ch8rming [^118.138] https://twitter.com/#!/Ch8rming/status/26698082438 Twitter bio and stats on 19 June 2013: After all these years, my wife still calls me charming. She just says it with more sarcasm and disdain. Location: Couch, car, or cubicle · favstar.fm/users/Ch8rming - 3,247 tweets. 1,114 following. 3,773 followers.

I've started using orange cones to mark my personal space.

18 July 2012 Just Bill ‏@WilliamAder [^118.139] https://twitter.com/williamader/status/225563725225140224 His bio and stats on 30 October 2012: I'll be here all weak. http://favstar.fm/users/WilliamAder - 6,610 tweets. 4,007 following. 9,539 followers.

I don't always wander around aimlessly, but when I do I'm usually at work.

9 October 2012 Christopher Viccaro ‏@chrisviccaro [^118.140] https://twitter.com/chrisviccaro/status/255647057883324416 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: unorthodox futurist, incessant inquirer, wandering mind, and what's worse I hate people who smile in their profile pictures. Location: From Akron to Pittsburgh · http://favstar.fm/users/chrisviccaro/recent - 9,515 tweets. 2,015 following. 2,213 followers. His profile photo showed him smiling.

The office douche is trolling the cubicles looking for people to engage in conversation with. I have some sign language I hope he can read.

2 July 2009 GPappalardo (Soap Box Liberal) from San Diego on Favrd. URL lost. Twitter bio and stats on 29 August 2013 for Soap Box Liberal @GPappalardo [^118.141] Don't believe everything you read. Location: San Diego · puzzld.tumblr.com. 15,420 tweets. 1,094 following. 5,207 followers.

Saying "I'm a people person" is a great way to let people know you're a person that people should avoid, should a person talk to people.

2 September 2011 Tyler @BeerBatterBeard [^118.142] https://twitter.com/#!/BeerBatterBeard/status/109840251123535872 His Twitter bio and stats on 29 August 2013: My net worth is measured in chip clips. Location: the durty · favstar.fm/users/BeerBatterBeard - 887 tweets. 477 following. 6,390 followers.

I really like you, but you could use another hobby besides poisoning people against each other.

20 August 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^118.143] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/237524598097342465 Bio: I tweet so you don't have to. 12,251 tweets. 2,992 following. 8,228 followers.

If you could just tell me right when we first meet what it is you think the world owes you, that would make things much easier.

12 June 2011 Joe Randazzo @Randazzoj [^118.144] https://twitter.com/#!/Randazzoj/status/79677858947153920 His Twitter bio and stats on 29 August 2013: Creative Director of http://adultswim.com . Former editor of The Onion. The sentences I write here are my own personal sentences. Internet. Location: Greenpoint · adultswim.com. 26,624 tweets. 1,031 following. 21,418 followers. Greenpoint is a neighborhood in Brooklyn, NY.

I find giving co-workers advice on how they can be more attractive is a great way of stopping people talking to you.

12 October 2011 Bad Bad Leeroy Brown @bdbdleeroybrown [^118.145] https://twitter.com/#!/bdbdleeroybrown/status/124265961795760128 Twitter bio and stats on 8 June 2013: The baddest man in the whole damn town. bdbdleeroybrown.tumblr.com · http://favstar.fm/users/bdbdleeroybrown/recent - 25,416 tweets. 12,517 following. 13,451 followers.

Before you give me any advice I'd just like to say how ungrateful I am.

16 June 2012 Aspersioncast ‏@Aspersioncast [^118.146] https://twitter.com/Aspersioncast/status/214229079661092864 His bio and stats on 21 November 2012: It's always a pleasure to meet someone with no sense of humour, then when I fuck with their head, it's unbelievably satisfying. Location: Perth Australia. · http://favstar.fm/users/AspersionCast/recent - 18,059 tweets. 17,901 following. 22,264 followers.

I'M PERSONABLE actually means that I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to co-workers

#CorporateShit

25 August 2013 Note Hear ‏@NoteHear [^118.147] https://twitter.com/NoteHear/status/371647127450959872 Her Twitter bio and stats on 4 September 2013: I like to play the Pharaoh and see the locusts descend ... Now one day I will retire and then do nothing - how's that for an ambition ... Location: Tinseltown. 5,221 tweets. 427 following. 485 followers.

i will never understand why people feel the need to speak to one another in elevators.

9 April 2012 bird of youth ‏@birdofyouth [^118.148] https://twitter.com/#!/birdofyouth/status/189410105689780225 Twitter bio and stats on 5 August 2013: band from brooklyn. voice of beth wawerna. we probably don't care about your cat. Location: brooklyn, ny · birdofyouth.com - 4,948 tweets. 539 following. 877 followers.

Elevators - taking awkward to a whole new level.

4 February 2013 Kerry Beetge ‏@KerryBeetge [^118.149] https://twitter.com/KerryBeetge/status/298501593198895105 Her bio and stats on 8 February 2013: Kerry, Kerry quite contrary, how does your garden grow? With lights that dance and bugs that prance and ink that marks the snow. #copywriter Location: Cape Town, South Africa · http://www.kerrycontrary.com - 7,367 tweets. 982 following. 933 followers.

You look chatty. I'll take the next elevator.

8 September 2012 Chronic Cynic ‏@cynicuhl [^118.150] https://twitter.com/cynicuhl/status/244409192125972480 His bio and stats on 20 September 2012: Apparently I have issues too. 7,488 tweets. 2,218 following. 3,109 followers.

*last one in crowded elevator*

"More like hellevator am I right?"

*someone smirks*

"You guys like jokes?"

*pulls out joke diary*

"WHY DID TH

9 April 2013 sean o ‏@pudding_club [^118.151] https://twitter.com/pudding_club/status/321649149294567424 Twitter bio and stats on 31 December 2013: the archives: http://favstar.fm/users/pudding_club - Location: bay area · mypuddingclub.com - 11,064 tweets. 360 following. 3,170 followers. On 31 December 2013 this tweet was found to have accumulated 2,904 retweets and 3,896 favorites.

Someone's having a birthday in the office today, so they've brought out the cheap sponge cake and the non-alcoholic champagne. ~ God help me

9 February 2012 Julz Millar @DONTJIMMYMEJULZ [^118.152] https://twitter.com/#!/DONTJIMMYMEJULZ/status/167816488760258561 His bio and stats on 21 May 2013: Hi! If you're new to twitter please enjoy wasting countless hours of your life here. And don't worry, that empty feeling is perfectly normal. 8,190 tweets. 11,679 following. 11,795 followers.

If you don't have AT LEAST three wind chimes on your patio that's soothing to the soul, just forget about me ever coming to your BBQ

21 October 2012 shane ‏@bedroombazooka [^118.153] https://twitter.com/bedroombazooka/status/260089591791501312 His bio and stats on 5 November 2012: eHarmony key compatibility question writer. IG: bedroombazooka Location: Hawaii · http://favstar.fm/users/bedroombazooka - 6,259 tweets. 842 following. 1,895 followers.

Now is the lunch hour of my discontent.

15 October 2010 passive aggressive @behindyourback [^118.154] https://twitter.com/#!/behindyourback/status/27481399290 Twitter bio and stats on 30 June 2013: The drunken child of apathy and enthusiasm. The heir apparent to a shame fortune. I give people CDs as presents like that's even still a thing. bits-of-stuff.tumblr.com - 3,243 tweets. 598 following. 5,174 followers.

I'm getting tired of having the same turkey sandwich with a side of tears & self loathing for lunch every single day.

1 February 2011 Tricia @Im_Tricia [^118.155] https://twitter.com/#!/Im_Tricia/status/32566555225096192 Her bio and stats on 22 December 2012: Jazz hands for life while still keeping it gangsta./Instagram: Im_Tricia/ https://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/[-withheld – Tricia's wish list]. Location: Los Angeles · http://favstar.fm/users/Im_Tricia - 3,164 tweets. 636 following. 24,182 followers.

Don't forget to leave the office for lunch once in a while so people think you have friends.

31 January 2013 Amy ‏@YesThatAmy [^118.156] https://twitter.com/YesThatAmy/status/297054074359136256 Her bio: Lover of beer. Hater of clowns. I'm the boss of those people at that place. favstar.fm/users/YesThatAmy - 2,744 tweets. 1,543 following. 4,287 followers.

I need to make sure everyone knows I have to leave the dept lunch early for a meeting.

They need to know how important I am.

5 September 2011 The Office Prick ‏@theofficeprick [^118.157] https://twitter.com/theofficeprick/status/114325149863514113 Twitter bio and stats on 26 October 2013: Documenting and chronicling the daily actions of The Office Prick. Yes, these are true. 112 tweets. 48 following. 61 followers. On 26 October 2013, this account's most recent tweet was dated 13 January 2012.

Can't wait to spend my lunch hour looking for somewhere to eat.

31 January 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^118.158] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/296919370423205888 Her bio and stats on 1 February 2013: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 12,366 tweets. 1,884 following. 1,930 followers.

I eat lunch alone in my car like all adorably lonely anti-social single people.

14 November 2011 bee @dosesofneurosis [^118.159] https://twitter.com/#!/dosesofneurosis/status/136111294515396609 No account with this ID found on 7 April 2013.

Everyone bursts out crying in their car after they leave the office everyday right?

5 October 2010 Tricia @Im_Tricia [^118.160] https://twitter.com/#!/Im_Tricia/status/26503554664 Her bio and stats on 22 December 2012: Jazz hands for life while still keeping it gangsta./Instagram: Im_Tricia/ https://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/[-withheld – Tricia's wish list]. Location: Los Angeles · http://favstar.fm/users/Im_Tricia - 3,164 tweets. 636 following. 24,182 followers.

There comes a point in everyone's life, when they sit in the parking lot at their job and wonder where it all went wrong.

5 September 2012 Steve ‏@FSUSteve [^118.161] https://twitter.com/FSUSteve/status/243357402978738177 Bio and stats on 8 November 2012: My ride or die @mekaylasmoody Location: Florida · http://favstar.fm/users/FSUSteve - 57,242 tweets. 3,537 following. 12,316 followers.

I do my best work when no one is looking.

22 July 2012 Shari Vanderwerf ‏@shariv67 [^118.162] https://twitter.com/shariv67/status/227268649600286721 Her bio and stats on 27 October 2012: My work has appeared on Comedy Central, Cartoon Network, VH1, E!, film festivals and major publications. Comedian & Writer · http://www.sharivanderwerf.com - 11,392 tweets. 3,551 following. 24,593 followers.

work is the loneliest place in the world

2 November 2011 Rez ‏@ragazzel [^118.163] https://twitter.com/ragazzel/status/131724171527983105 Her bio and stats on 29 April 2013: A happy monkey stuck in a human suit, raised by the sea. Location: Egypt. 1,870 tweets. 404 following. 1,081 followers.

One of these days I'm going to have a breakdown and tell everyone what I really think of them. I can't wait!

17 July 2012 Idontgiva McFuck ‏@Crazedcrazy \- https://twitter.com/Crazedcrazy/status/218443901768437763 Twitter screen name, ID bio and stats on 29 August 2013: CertifiablySane @CertifiablySane [^118.164] Kindness is contagious. Location: New York City · http://favstar.fm/users/CertifiablySane - 12,672 tweets. 3,554 following. 3,881 followers.

Be nice to people, no one likes an asshole.

17 May 2012 Chopper ‏@chopper4jk [^118.165] https://twitter.com/#!/chopper4jk/status/203019178679074816 His bio and stats on 27 October 2012: Yeah, I really just said that...Get over it...Usually up @chrisanna4real's skirt - IG chopper4jk http://favstar.fm/users/chopper4jk Location: Hood River OR. 16,044 tweets. 19,525 following. 20,795 followers.

Don't mistake my kindness for weakness.

11 December 2012 Justine Joy ‏@punkystarfish [^118.166] https://twitter.com/punkystarfish/status/278564127302107136 Her bio and stats on 6 January 2013: I tweet it up like Tweety bird | Social Media Gal @Talooma | Digital Guru in Training |Zimbabwean | Taller than you | Loves Pandas | Favourite time is 12:34 Location: I swam here from Zimbabwe · http://www.justinejoyit.co.za - 13,003 tweets. 507 following. 1,125 followers.

• • • • •

**Walk into** _Politics & Prose_ **and Miss Manners is speaking. So that's what she looks like! Very funny and witty.**

24 September 2013 Tim Shorrock ‏@TimothyS [^118.167] https://twitter.com/TimothyS/status/382642598273626113 His bio: Journalist/musician/agitator. Author, SPIES FOR HIRE. Salon & Nation writer. Union guy. Raised in postwar Asia. Fan of Dylan, guitars and a Girl named Barbara. Washington, DC, USA · timshorrock.com. 37,021 tweets. 4,136 following. 7,192 followers. Italics added.

Miss Manners is talking about "misplaced manners." Like how "people use social manners in the workplace and business manners at home."

24 September 2013 Tim Shorrock ‏@TimothyS [^118.168] https://twitter.com/TimothyS/status/382644222593359872 His bio: Journalist/musician/agitator. Author, SPIES FOR HIRE. Salon & Nation writer. Union guy. Raised in postwar Asia. Fan of Dylan, guitars and a Girl named Barbara. Washington, DC, USA · timshorrock.com. 37,021 tweets. 4,136 following. 7,192 followers.

Judith Martin [^118.169 and ^118.170 for quote below] is an advice columnist and book author who writes as 'Miss Manners.' She refers to herself in the third person, e.g., "Miss Manners hopes..." No Twitter account found for Judith Martin on 24 September 2013.

Miss Manners on the biggest etiquette problem in America:

The major etiquette problem in American nowadays is blatant greed. It's people who are scheming to get money and possessions from other people, and who believe they are entitled to do so. Whether it is the gift registry—or people who claim to be entertaining and are telling their guests to bring food, to bring drink and sometimes even to pay—the ancient practices of exchanging presents and of giving hospitality are being undermined by this rampant greed.

The above paragraph quotes Judith Martin from: "Q and A with Miss Manners," by Arcynta Ali Childs, Smithsonian Magazine, July-August 2011. Accessed 24 September 2013. http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/Q-and-A-with-Miss-Manners.html

Arcynta Ali Childs @arcynta [^118.171] Twitter bio and stats on 24 September 2013: Some things just warrant comment. I'm happy to oblige. I also want to RT hoodrat things with my friends. Location: Conjunction Junction. 546 tweets. 75 following. 67 followers.

Smithsonian Magazine @SmithsonianMag [^118.172] Twitter bio and stats on 24 September 2013: Official Twitter feed for Smithsonian magazine. @ replies may be reprinted in the magazine. Legal: http://www.si.edu/Termsofuse - Location: Washington, D.C. · smithsonianmag.com. 17,057 tweets. 406 following. 73,052 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  119. Customer management

Who are customers?

Professional service providers have clients.

Barbers and convenience stores have customers.

10 February 2013 https://identi.ca/notice/99523579 https://twitter.com/aem76us/status/300858921537662976

@aem76us **hair stylists also have clients**

11 February 2013 Jacob Mendenhall ‏@JMendenhall [^119.1] https://twitter.com/JMendenhall/status/300955960711725056 His bio and stats on 14 February 2013: Sometimes, when I am drunk, I think about running for US Senate. Location: ÜT: 47.71948,-122.31974 · http://facebook.com/jmendenhall - 9,601 tweets. 566 following. 296 followers.

When you have a job in customer service it's like a psychological study everyday.

You realize how neurotic, insane, and selfish we can be.

21 July 2012 Cloudypiano ‏@cloudcm [^119.2] https://twitter.com/cloudcm/status/226869782580973568 Twitter bio and stats on 26 July 2012: we must look for consistency; where there is want of it we must suspect twitter... Location: San Francisco, CA. 1,126 tweets. 1,243 following. 1,042 followers. Profile photo shows a woman sleeping, as if on vacation. Twitter bio and stats on 17 July 2013: we must look for consistency; where there is want of it we must suspect twitter... Location: san rafael, ca · cloudyblueyes.tumblr.com - 6,461 tweets. 638 following. 2,938 followers.

**Customer Service.** # **commonoxymorons**

30 March 2012 Eccentricandhow @Eccentricandhow [^119.3] https://twitter.com/#!/Eccentricandhow/status/185699708709249024 Her bio and stats on 19 April 2013: I am a typical Virgo: Read Linda Goodman and you're almost there. Ok-here's more trivia: I am the really TALL girl with the really SHORT hair. Go figure! 17,987 tweets. 808 following. 3,284 followers.

Social media provides opportunities for customers to express their disappointment with brands. Look at the follower numbers in the examples below.

.@United_Airlines has treated me so poorly, and with such disregard for my needs, I'm surprised I haven't already tried to have sex with it.

24 June 2011 Morgan Murphy @morgan_murphy [^119.4] https://twitter.com/#!/morgan_murphy/status/84408419909500928 Bio and stats on 21 April 2013: i like: boxing. whiskey. naps. documentaries. also a writer and performer person for the tv. Location: los angeles · http://favstar.fm/users/morgan_murphy - 10,926 tweets. 946 following. 111,236 followers.

**Why is my cell phone provider behaving like a jealous, needy boyfriend?It texts me all day long, even when I visit store:** _you're here_ **! Enuf!**

11 July 2012 Mona Eltahawy ‏@monaeltahawy [^119.5] https://twitter.com/monaeltahawy/status/223162755270717440 Her bio and stats on 8 November 2012: Columnist and public speaker on Arab and Muslim issues www.monaeltahawy.com Location: The World · http://www.monaeltahawy.com/blog - 143,541 tweets. 868 following. 164,811 followers. Italics added above. Mona Eltahawy was in Cairo.

Enough! or cut that out! in Egyptian Arabic is ba'lash. It can be shouted on the street when one is being harassed, especially by children.

Here is an example of a customer with over 5,000 followers using social media to express dissatisfaction with an Internet service provider with only 100 followers.

Dear @WCTLtd. Bite me. I don't care how many phone calls your CEO makes to my dad begging me to stop tweeting about your bad service.

10 January 2013 Nabiha Meher Shaikh ‏@NabihaMeher [^119.6] https://twitter.com/NabihaMeher/status/289333242828578816 Her bio: Critical thinking teacher, writer, feminist & member of Women Action Forum @WAFLahore. Retweets are not endorsements. Location: Lahore · http://www.nabihameher.wordpress.com - 26,668 tweets. 604 following. 5,010 followers.

One minute later:

@WCTLtd would rather beg for customers to stop speaking up than provide good service. If you want me to stop tweeting, treat me decently.

10 January 2013 Nabiha Meher Shaikh ‏@NabihaMeher [^119.7] https://twitter.com/NabihaMeher/status/289333474425462785 Her bio: Critical thinking teacher, writer, feminist & member of Women Action Forum @WAFLahore. Retweets are not endorsements. Location: Lahore · http://www.nabihameher.wordpress.com - 26,668 tweets. 604 following. 5,010 followers.

Bio of Worldcall Telecom @WCTLtd - Lahore, Pakistan · http://www.worldcall.net.pk - 2,940 tweets. 1 following. 100 followers. They had not tweeted in ten days. This book's author has been a repeat customer of Worldcall in Lahore and has had no problems with their service.

Worldcall was founded in 1996 by Salman Taseer, who also owned the English-language newspaper the Daily Times. For his political activities, Taseer was arrested 16 times and spent more than six months chained to the floor in solitary confinement in the Lahore Fort. Taseer went on to become Governor of Punjab. On 4 January 2011, one of his bodyguards shot him 27 times for objecting to Pakistan's blasphemy law. Salman Taseer is buried in a military cantonment in Lahore. His son Shahbaz Taseer was kidnapped in Lahore on 26 August 2011 by unidentified gunmen and was still missing as of mid 2015.

Internet service providers are the most popular target of complaints, followed by travel companies and hospitality providers.

It's official. @VodafoneGhana is the worst, lowest, and most incompetent excuse for an internet service provider EVER. I'm done with them.

14 June 2013 AfroCyberPunk ‏@afrocyberpunk [^119.8] https://twitter.com/afrocyberpunk/status/345469598633709568 Bio: Jonathan Dotse :: Technology Evangelist - Science Fiction Writer - Freelance Philosopher. Location: Accra :: Ghana :: West Africa · afrocyberpunk.com - 3,268 tweets. 360 following. 608 followers.

Microblogging provides travelers and travel companies with opportunities for real-time engagement, as in this example, which did not appear to have elicited any response:

Aborted landing at DCA, re routed to Dulles with lots of ill passengers. So...uh... cab vouchers? @AmericanAir

12 March 2014 Amie Stepanovich ‏@astepanovich [^119.9] https://twitter.com/astepanovich/status/443917490759151618 Bio: Senior Policy Counsel, @accessnow. I work to keep gov'mt out of your life. Views my own. PGP fingerprint: CBBE 4CF3 84B5 FCA7 3BAA F3D0 FF72 6BC2 1C1D A0C7 – Location: Washington, D.C. · accessnow.org - 13,908 tweets. 1,030 following. 3,872 followers.

DCA refers to Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport. It is located in Arlington County, Virginia, 3 miles (4.8 km) south of downtown Washington D.C. Dulles refers to Washington Dulles International Airport (or "IAD") in Dulles, Virginia. It is 26 miles (42 km) west of downtown Washington, D.C. Although served by bus routes to downtown D.C., its connection to the subway system serving the District was not slated to be complete until 2016-2018. Residents of the District generally prefer the smaller DCA over IAD because of its convenience.

@mchofmann **so much turbulence. Hero pilot for landing in this, but what a mess.**

12 March 2014 Amie Stepanovich ‏@astepanovich [^119.10] https://twitter.com/astepanovich/status/443924107797987328 Bio: Senior Policy Counsel, @accessnow. I work to keep gov'mt out of your life. Views my own. PGP fingerprint: CBBE 4CF3 84B5 FCA7 3BAA F3D0 FF72 6BC2 1C1D A0C7 – Location: Washington, D.C. · accessnow.org - 13,908 tweets. 1,030 following. 3,872 followers. The account of @mchofmann was set to private at the time, so her tweet could not be viewed.

Omg. Was just told that we're waiting to see *if the flight would be terminated. Not even sure what that means, but get me off this pane

12 March 2014 Amie Stepanovich ‏@astepanovich [^119.11] https://twitter.com/astepanovich/status/443925133003325440 Bio: Senior Policy Counsel, @accessnow. I work to keep gov'mt out of your life. Views my own. PGP fingerprint: CBBE 4CF3 84B5 FCA7 3BAA F3D0 FF72 6BC2 1C1D A0C7 – Location: Washington, D.C. · accessnow.org - 13,908 tweets. 1,030 following. 3,872 followers.

The gate is RIGHT THERE. Open the doorrrrr.

12 March 2014 Amie Stepanovich ‏@astepanovich [^119.12] https://twitter.com/astepanovich/status/443925904633630721 Bio: Senior Policy Counsel, @accessnow. I work to keep gov'mt out of your life. Views my own. PGP fingerprint: CBBE 4CF3 84B5 FCA7 3BAA F3D0 FF72 6BC2 1C1D A0C7 – Location: Washington, D.C. · accessnow.org - 13,908 tweets. 1,030 following. 3,872 followers.

Making us wait, then saying they aren't helping w transport, then alerted of a long cab line. Glad it's so convenient to leave Dulles

12 March 2014 Amie Stepanovich ‏@astepanovich [^119.13] https://twitter.com/astepanovich/status/443927175377727488 Bio: Senior Policy Counsel, @accessnow. I work to keep gov'mt out of your life. Views my own. PGP fingerprint: CBBE 4CF3 84B5 FCA7 3BAA F3D0 FF72 6BC2 1C1D A0C7 – Location: Washington, D.C. · accessnow.org - 13,908 tweets. 1,030 following. 3,872 followers.

Fees for every extra on a plane, but nothing in return for major problems.

12 March 2014 Amie Stepanovich ‏@astepanovich [^119.14] https://twitter.com/astepanovich/status/443928896015437824 Bio: Senior Policy Counsel, @accessnow. I work to keep gov'mt out of your life. Views my own. PGP fingerprint: CBBE 4CF3 84B5 FCA7 3BAA F3D0 FF72 6BC2 1C1D A0C7 – Location: Washington, D.C. · accessnow.org - 13,908 tweets. 1,030 following. 3,872 followers.

• • • • •

Customers now have the power to redefine a company's strategic position.

I started as a Google evangelist.

Later, I felt like a customer.

Soon, I felt like their product.

Today, I just feel like their stooge.

2 November 2011 Merlin Mann @hotdogsladies [^119.15] https://twitter.com/#!/hotdogsladies/status/131804741528322048 His bio and stats on 10 January 2013: Riding out tonight to case the promised land. Location: San Francisco, Calif. · http://www.merlinmann.com - 13,880 tweets. 463 following. 254,515 followers. As of 10 January 2013, this tweet had been retweeted 303 times. Underlining added.

" **Every time something new comes out from Google, I just wait to see where is the catch. There is always *the catch.*** "

20 February 2014 Matt Stancliff ‏@mattsta [^119.16] https://twitter.com/mattsta/status/436600530757234689 Bio and stats on 26 February 2014: A full time homosexual extremist and part time computational neuroscientist. Available for parties and corporate events. Location: New York, NY 11109 · matt.io - 7,410 tweets. 72 following. 322 followers.

Observations on the customer experience, from both sides:

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect

22 June 2011 Laugh Riot @Laugh_Riot [^119.17] https://twitter.com/#!/Laugh_Riot/status/83429011648299008 Twitter bio and stats on 4 August 2013: Zindagi mein haste raho, jiyo, khush raho kyunki kya pata - kal aage ke do daant ho na ho!! Parody A/c, not Cyrus! ! Location: living on the edge! – Mumbai. 32,868 tweets. 123 following. 34,913 followers. This saw pre-dates the Internet.

"My policy number? You're lucky I remember all 17 of my cats' names. Now put me through to Senator Clinton's pedicurist!" Fun with Medicare.

29 December 2010 Mrs. Grinch @girlweena [^119.18] https://twitter.com/#!/girlweena/status/20280910020616192 Her Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 30 August 2013: Wendina M. Ubaghs @girlweena - Some days no matter how hard you pimp a tweet, ain't nobody wants to party with it. ••••••➤ · facebook.com/girlweena. 5,828 tweets. 2,104 following. 3,799 followers.

if your job requires you to tell people to have a good day, odds are you're not having one yourself.

5 June 2010 tony logan @tnylgn [^119.19] http://twitter.com/tnylgn/status/15524959508 Twitter bio and stats on 30 August 2013: stand-up comedian or lack thereof. Location: midwest · favstar.fm/users/tnylgn. 813 tweets. 566 following. 5,187 followers. On 30 August 2013, this tweet was found to have been deleted.

here to please, not to provoke Brechtian discourse

22 December 2013 NYT Minus Context ‏@NYTMinusContext [^119.20] https://twitter.com/NYTMinusContext/status/414799759057371136 Bio and stats on 17 January 2014: All Tweets Verbatim From New York Times Content. Not Affiliated with New York Times. Follow @NYTPlusContext for context. NYTMinusContext@gmail.com - 1,244 tweets. 911 following. 10.854 followers.

The New York Times @nytimes [^119.21] Twitter bio and stats on 17 January 2014: Where the conversation begins. Follow for breaking news, special reports, http://NYTimes.com homepage links and RTs of our journalists. Location: New York City · nytimes.com -124,082 tweets. 854 following. 10,681,262 followers.

OMG! A CUSTOMER ALMOST DIED IN FRONT OF ME TODAY!!

But then I counted to 10 and put the scissors back in the drawer.

She never even knew.

1 September 2011 Andrea Sometimes @Angrea [^119.22] https://twitter.com/#!/Angrea/status/109429321457876992 Her screen name, bio and stats on 13 April 2013: Angerson Cooper @Angrea - I accidentally said Spirk and Kock once. Okay, twice. Location: Supernova Scotia, Canada · http://favstar.fm/users/Angrea \- 6,858 tweets. 4,262 following. 8,476 followers.

"Have a nice day" is retail code for "Fuck off and die."

3 June 2011 Clarke Kant @clarkekant [^119.23] https://twitter.com/#!/clarkekant/status/76711823822430208 Bio and stats on 18 November 2012: I'm all for saving the world, just not necessarily the people. Now available on http://Witstream.com ! Location: America-ish · http://favstar.fm/users/clarkekant - 9,997 tweets. 776 following. 29,442 followers.

Me: "Hi, I'm Ed."

Her: "Your name is And?"

Me: "No, it's Ed."

Her: "Nice to meet you, And."

Me: "Do you by any chance work at Starbucks?"

5 May 2013 Ed Lee ‏@smedlee [^119.24] https://twitter.com/smedlee/status/331105751839952896 Bio and stats on 20 May 2013 Writer for the teevee and other stuff. From Jersey. In LA. Location: Los Angeles, CA · favstar.fm/users/smedlee - 1,676 tweets. 782 following. 1,446 followers.

"I'm not sure what it is, but something about you makes me wanna slap you. You're hired." - interview process at Starbucks

29 September 2011 Nick Stadler @NickadooLA - https://twitter.com/#!/NickadooLA/status/119594474979594240 Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 20 May 2013: Nick Stadler @Nickadoo [^119.25] Gay, cartoonist & graphic designer, releasing my bad thoughts via Tweet since 2010. It's therapeutic. Location: Echo Park, CA · favstar.fm/users/Nickadoo - 8,933 tweets. 639 following. 24,615 followers.

**Word is, Starbucks employees are never actually informed of having completed their passive aggressiveness training**.

1 April 2009 Geoff Barnes @texburgher [^119.26] on Favrd. URL lost. His Twitter bio and stats on 14 April 2013: Terse declaration of professional status. Achievement for which I'd like to be known. Unrelated third thing. Location: Pittsburgh, PA · http://texburgher.com - 15,562 tweets. 337 following. 3,824 followers.

No one avoids eye contact better than a Home Depot employee.

19 November 2011 Steve @FSUSteve [^119.27] https://twitter.com/#!/FSUSteve/status/138018233289687040 Bio and stats on 8 November 2012: My ride or die @mekaylasmoody Location: Florida · http://favstar.fm/users/FSUSteve - 57,242 tweets. 3,537 following. 12,316 followers.

# **PashtoProverbs The shopkeeper is the dog of the street.**

12 July 2013 Musharraf A. Farooqi ‏@microMAF [^119.28] https://twitter.com/microMAF/status/355592281916575744 His bio: MUSHARRAF ALI FAROOQI is an author, translator, and publisher. mafarooqi.com - 19,159 tweets. 370 following. 4,233 followers.

This proverb was translated from Urdu by Musharraf A. Farooqi. The source of the proverb was cited in a tweet that day [https://twitter.com/microMAF/status/355595948275150848] by Musharraf A. Farooqi as: p. 557-558 Muhammad Nawaz Ta'ir's "Pashto Zarbul-Imsaal" Vol 1. Musharraf A. Farooqi said that the two-volume work Pashto Zarbul-Imsaal is in both Pashto and Urdu. It is out of print, he added. Ta'ir may also be spelled Tahir.

Hey over-enthusiastic cashiers: chill out on that. You're making it weird.

24 June 2011 Steph @Lea_Stephanie [^119.29] https://twitter.com/#!/Lea_Stephanie/status/84082689979858944 On 30 August 2013, this account was found to have been disabled. No bio on 30 August 2013, only this user name, ID and stats: Stephanie Lea @lea_stephanie - 0 tweets. 1 following. 0 followers.

Let's cut the crap, check-out line clerks. We both know you wish I was dead and I wish you were a robot.

9 January 2011 Clarke Kant @clarkekant [^119.30] https://twitter.com/#!/clarkekant/status/24294284068921344 Bio and stats on 18 November 2012: I'm all for saving the world, just not necessarily the people. Now available on http://Witstream.com ! Location: America-ish · http://favstar.fm/users/clarkekant - 9,997 tweets. 776 following. 29,442 followers.

stop thanking me. just shut up.

6 May 2012 snarkarella ‏@snarkarella [^119.31] https://twitter.com/snarkarella/status/199368512488210432 Her bio and stats on 17 December 2012: i like snacking on ice cubes. 3,547 tweets. 389 following. 1,594 followers.

"Next. Fuck you!

Next. Fuck you!

Next. Fuck you!

Next. Fuck you!

Next. Fuck you!"

\- DMV employees

30 June 2011 Jason was here @Jason_maybe [^119.32] https://twitter.com/#!/Jason_maybe/status/86439195115130881 Bio and stats on 3 April 2013: Wife. Sister. Mommy Blogger. Knee-high sock collector. Zumba Instructor. Vegan. Total Diva! Yoga Pants Enthusiast. Breast Feeder. Honey Boo Boo's body double. Location: Central Massachusetts :( · http://jasonmaybe.tumblr.com - 5,874 tweets. 749 following. 7,815 followers. Most recent tweet on 3 April 2013 was dated 29 October 2012.

DMV = division of motor vehicles, which is a common name for a government agency in many US states. The agency is responsible for issuing driver licenses and vehicle registrations.

Customers, victims ....whatever.

1 March 2010 tenacious d. @debihope [^119.33] http://twitter.com/debihope/status/9845956743 Her bio and stats on 18 November 2012: Just another cute and sexy genius. Location: Closer than you think · http://debshock.tumblr.com - 19,104 tweets. 840 following. 3,896 followers.

I've got no sympathy for irate customers. They can't possibly hate our company more than I do.

3 June 2011 Jocelyn TestesHarder @FilthyRichmond [^119.34] https://twitter.com/#!/FilthyRichmond/status/76739553603493888 Twitter bio and stats on 5 March 2013 for Jocelyn Plums @FilthyRichmond - Kiss Mommy's cold sore and make it better! #RVA http://FilthyRichmond.com Location: Richmond, VA · http://favstar.fm/users/filthyrichmond/recent - 9,914 tweets. 3,384 following. 65,783 followers.

You've reached Whomeverthefuck at whateverthefuck which is no surprise since you're the one calling. I'll stop talking in like nine minutes.

2 July 2009 Remiel from Brooklyn, NY on Favrd. URL lost. Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 5 January 2013: Gabriel '❑' Cubbage @Remiel [^119.35] Remiel (.org): A 60x60px red square. Gabriel Cubbage: Director of 67 Robots. Most firms have 66 robots. We have 67. So call us. Ask for Gabriel or Monocle Bot. Location: Perma-nomad; currently Hawaii. · http://67Robots.com 3,554 tweets. 127 following. 4,045 followers.

I'm on hold. My call is important to them.

22 February 2011 Mae @HerMaeness - https://twitter.com/#!/HerMaeness/status/40030430413590528 She changed her ID to @mzeld [^119.36] and had this bio and stats on 12 November 2012: LET'S DO TWEETS OFF EACH OTHER'S BUTTS http://www.internet.com - 16,846 tweets. 698 following. 21,805 followers.

If I ever start a customer service company, I'm going to name it 'Hold Please'.

21 September 2010 Nick Alias Plemur @plemur [^119.37] https://twitter.com/plemur/status/25184834921 Twitter bio and stats on 4 July 2013: I don't buy fat-free milk because I don't want to encourage cows with body image issues. Location: New Hampshire · favstar.fm/users/plemur - 6,352 tweets. 807 following. 4,388 followers.

I've been on hold with customer service listening to tropical music for 30 mins.

It's like I'm on a beach, hating your product.

3 January 2011 MJ @sucittaM [^119.38] https://twitter.com/#!/sucittaM/status/22039511324172288 His bio and stats on 23 March 2013: I'm in a band with my dog. He barks while I eat Cheetos. It's indie, you wouldn't get it. witstream. somecards. and I'm married. Location: Midwest · http://www.witstream.com - 25,787 tweets. 550 following. 35,387 followers.

" **Your call is important to us, please hang up for English."**

7 November 2012 Tommy Karate ‏@TommyKarate [^119.39] https://twitter.com/TommyKarate/status/266240291546210305 His bio: My wife and I have a deal. She can't see my tweets and I can't see her facebook. I'm not really married. http://favstar.fm/users/TommyKarate/recent... Location: Brooklyn, NY · http://favstar.fm/users/TommyKarate/most_retweeted - 20,587 tweets. 1,010 following. 5,753 followers. On 8 April 2013 this account was found to have been disabled.

When a female customer calls & sounds sexy I make sure to get her email address so I can stalk her on Facebook because women love that

24 August 2011 Chore Boy @ChorePush2 - https://twitter.com/#!/ChorePush2/status/106358574254534656 Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 30 August 2013: Michael Jordan @MikeJordanBro [^119.40] Chicago Bulls NBA champion. Hanes underwear model. I blew Nike up. Parody. Location: Chicago, IL. 8,705 tweets. 865 following. 7,082 followers. On 30 August 2013 the most recent tweet found in this account was dated 12 August 2012.

Yes, I am clueless. However, that does not give you the right to talk to me as though I haven't a clue.

17 November 2010 Crab @Blue_Crab [^119.41] https://twitter.com/#!/Blue_Crab/status/4945072827138048 Bio and stats on 24 March 2013: Stronger than ativan and more powerful than chocolate. Send me an email at google – BlueCrabsEmail – Location: South · http://favstar.fm/users/Blue_Crab - 3,473 tweets. 381 following. 2,174 followers.

Dear AT&T help line guy: Don't be so smug.

My stupidity is your job security.

16 June 2011 KikiPop @HannahAntics [^119.42] https://twitter.com/#!/HannahAntics/status/81492007666720770 Her Twitter bio and stats on 17 July 2013: Send vodka and chocolate STAT. Then we'll talk. Location: Buried in glitter & laundry · favstar.fm/users/HannahAntics - 4,642 tweets. 1,575 following. 6,111 followers.

AT&T always treats me like I have no shirt and no shoes.

2 July 2010 The False Prophet @YUCKYBOT [^119.43] https://twitter.com/YUCKYBOT/status/17624709927 His bio and stats on 18 November 2012: McGriddle Enthusiast,Once Was Forced To Sit Through 'CATS' With Poopy Underwear. RESPECT THIS PINK TOWEL!*BEEP BOOP* Location: Norwich, CT · http://pinktowels.tumblr.com/ - 16,016 tweets. 675 following. 25,252 followers. His display photo showed him with a pink towel draped over his head.

Why not an option just for 911 calls,

say $5 a month or something?

You know people want this.

Why are you the devil? @ATT

16 August 2013 HellNo Kitty ‏@BeauBanter [^119.44] https://twitter.com/BeauBanter/status/368440107616837632 Her Twitter bio and stats on 18 August 2013: I'm just a dirtbag in a classy gal skin suit. Location: 13th Floor. 15,675 tweets. 375 following. 4,567 followers.

Google, MS, Apple & co should collaborate on creating a global OTT-centric advanced emergency API that goes way beyond telecoms 911/999/112

12 October 2012 Dean Bubley ‏@disruptivedean [^119.45] https://twitter.com/disruptivedean/status/256715179830697984 Bio and stats on 22 September 2013: Mobile / wireless industry analyst, consultant & speaker. Founder of Disruptive Analysis & Disruptive Wireless blog. See also my paid Twitter channel @DApremium. Location: London, UK · disruptivewireless.blogspot.com. 13,736 tweets. 942 following. 5,556 followers.

Unless phone numbers & basic telephony available for free, it seems unreasonable for banks, govts etc to expect phone use rather than VoIP

22 September 2013 Dean Bubley ‏@disruptivedean [^119.46] https://twitter.com/disruptivedean/status/381758553977286656 Bio: Mobile / wireless industry analyst, consultant & speaker. Founder of Disruptive Analysis & Disruptive Wireless blog. See also my paid Twitter channel @DApremium. Location: London, UK · disruptivewireless.blogspot.com. 13,736 tweets. 942 following. 5,556 followers.

It is ridiculous that most web-forms only accept numeric E164-style phone numbers, rather than your own choice of identifier & contact path

11 October 2012 Dean Bubley ‏@disruptivedean [^119.47] https://twitter.com/disruptivedean/status/256643665575952384 Bio and stats on 22 September 2013: Mobile / wireless industry analyst, consultant & speaker. Founder of Disruptive Analysis & Disruptive Wireless blog. See also my paid Twitter channel @DApremium. Location: London, UK · disruptivewireless.blogspot.com. 13,736 tweets. 942 following. 5,556 followers.

The "Hegemony of the Caller" (HT @martingeddes) is ending. If YOU want to contact ME, you do it on MY terms, & with MY choice of app/service

11 October 2012 Dean Bubley ‏@disruptivedean [^119.48] https://twitter.com/disruptivedean/status/256642771455201281 Bio and stats on 22 September 2013: Mobile / wireless industry analyst, consultant & speaker. Founder of Disruptive Analysis & Disruptive Wireless blog. See also my paid Twitter channel @DApremium. Location: London, UK · disruptivewireless.blogspot.com. 13,736 tweets. 942 following. 5,556 followers.

Martin Geddes ‏@martingeddes [^119.49] bio and stats on 16 April 2013: Telecoms strategy consultant with special interests in network performance engineering, polyservice networks, and hypervoice technology. Location: London · http://www.martingeddes.com/ - 9,982 tweets. 1,484 following. 2,197 followers. Martin Geddes tweets about the future of voice and communication.

As a user, I don't want to be universally "reachable". I want some people to reach me easily, some have to make an effort. Some I don't care

11 October 2012 Dean Bubley ‏@disruptivedean [^119.50] https://twitter.com/disruptivedean/status/256436604388929536 Bio and stats on 22 September 2013: Mobile / wireless industry analyst, consultant & speaker. Founder of Disruptive Analysis & Disruptive Wireless blog. See also my paid Twitter channel @DApremium. Location: London, UK · disruptivewireless.blogspot.com. 13,736 tweets. 942 following. 5,556 followers.

The first rule of AT&T club is: never talk about...

*Call Dropped*

28 July 2011 SlappNuttz @SlappNuttz [^119.51] https://twitter.com/#!/SlappNuttz/status/96785261681324032 Twitter bio and stats on 16 July 2013: RIP SlappNuttz -- Just making sure no asshat takes this username and uses it for good. 0 tweets. 0 following. 1 follower.

Dear call-center dude. I make the effort to say "No, sorry, don't want it but thank you." If you still persist, you deserve the rudeness.

28 July 2011 Rohan Joshi @mojorojo [^119.52] https://twitter.com/#!/mojorojo/status/96803420681408512 His Twitter bio and stats on 29 June 2013: Comedian, writer, Bombayite. As Famous Dead Person once said, Inspirational quote about attitude to life. Mumbai, India · facebook.com/therohanjoshi - 49,585 tweets. 1,018 following. 41,673 followers.

Many US states have 'no rebuttal' rules that bar aggressive tactics in outbound telephone sales, including rebuttals and retries after a consumer has declined an offer. Rohan Joshi was in Mumbai, location of one of the first two commercial call centers in India to dial into the United States, but where such consumer protections had yet to be instituted.

Sales reps: "no" doesn't mean "try harder." This is not "The Game."

18 June 2013 aloria ‏@aloria [^119.53] https://twitter.com/aloria/status/347050054080684032 Twitter bio and stats on 25 June 2013: Disaster tourist, .gif peddler, and semi-professional hedgehog herder. Application security team lead and http://i.imgur.com/z8eZn.gif . Location: Flavor Country · glassmelter.com - 10,814 tweets. 271 following. 4,828 followers.

Have you ever been stuck in a room with two guys cold calling 2000 numbers for 2 weeks? You haven't experienced torture.

27 March 2013 Natalie Roos ‏@NatalieRoos [^119.54] https://twitter.com/NatalieRoos/status/316880064677560320 Her bio and stats on 15 April 2013: CATS! Avid amateur swimmer. Wine obsessive. Keen on oysters. Afraid of the colour orange. Dedicated eater-outer. http://www.instagram.com/tailsofamermaid - Location: Cape Town · tailsofamermaid.com - 16,361 tweets. 951 following. 5,587 followers.

You can't truly be a nihilist unless you've worked for at least a week in telemarketing.

13 September 2011 Josh S ‏@jorshuwah [^119.55] https://twitter.com/jorshuwah/status/113626852576337921 His bio and stats on 28 March 2013: favstar.fm/users/jorshuwah – Location: Sydney, Australia. · jorshuwah.tumblr.com - 2,254 tweets. 996 following. 1,909 followers.

To get someone to stop calling, do not ignore the call.

Just answer, hand it to a child, and tell them it's Santa.

8 December 2011 Legs Vandercuss @brainydame \- https://twitter.com/#!/brainydame/status/144782264675471360 Her screen name, ID, bio and stats on 22 March 2013: Anna @smartypeach [^119.56] Why can I not be drinking a margarita on the beach right now? Instagram: brainypeach – Location: Chicago · http://favstar.fm/users/smartypeach/recent - 4,792 tweets. 52 following. 3,470 followers.

from now on i'll just tap on 'answer' and not say a word. then hang up when the caller has finished talking.

20 June 2012 snarkarella ‏@snarkarella [^119.57] https://twitter.com/snarkarella/status/215364708365123585 Her bio and stats on 17 December 2012: i like snacking on ice cubes. 3,547 tweets. 389 following. 1,594 followers.

It's a pleasure to do business with you. I look forward to screaming at your customer service representatives in six months.

2 November 2011 The False Prophet @YUCKYBOT [^119.58] https://twitter.com/#!/YUCKYBOT/status/131775012343517184 His bio and stats on 18 November 2012: McGriddle Enthusiast,Once Was Forced To Sit Through 'CATS' With Poopy Underwear. RESPECT THIS PINK TOWEL!*BEEP BOOP* Location: Norwich, CT · http://pinktowels.tumblr.com/ - 16,016 tweets. 675 following. 25,252 followers. His display photo showed him with a pink towel draped over his head.

I yell at customer service people whether I'm angry or not

30 April 2011 Jocelyn TestesHarder @FilthyRichmond [^119.59] https://twitter.com/#!/FilthyRichmond/status/64453016866127872 Twitter bio and stats on 5 March 2013 for Jocelyn Plums @FilthyRichmond - Kiss Mommy's cold sore and make it better! #RVA http://FilthyRichmond.com Location: Richmond, VA · http://favstar.fm/users/filthyrichmond/recent - 9,914 tweets. 3,384 following. 65,783 followers.

1. Accidentally give client your cell phone number.

2. Crush cell phone with hammer.

3. Throw pieces of cell phone in river.

19 July 2012 Giselle ‏@letsgetgizzy [^119.60] https://twitter.com/letsgetgizzy/status/226024241190035456 Her Twitter bio and stats on 18 June 2013: GET IN THE VAN. Contributor to http://witstream.com . Location: Chicago. 6,929 tweets. 604 following. 13,236 followers.

Dear Client. Calm the fuck down. We got this.

4 February 2013 Justine Joy ‏@punkystarfish [^119.61] https://twitter.com/punkystarfish/status/298682768102146048 Her bio and stats on 10 February 2013: I tweet it up like Tweety bird | Social Media Gal @Talooma | Digital Diva | Zimbabwean | Taller than you | Loves Pandas | Favourite time is 12:34 | Runner. Location: I swam here from Zimbabwe · http://www.justinejoyit.co.za - 13,665 tweets. 537 following. 1,241 followers. In Gauteng.

I don't have time for your impatience.

19 December 2010 Sherri @Sherriva [^119.62] https://twitter.com/#!/sherriva/status/16553514964615168 Her Twitter ID, bio and stats on 1 September 2013, when this tweet was found to have been deleted: @Sherriva - I love donuts so much it hurts. 87 tweets. 262 following. 90 followers.

I just got an email from Sears! I didn't even know they had a computer!

22 September 2011 Josh Hara @yoyoha [^119.63] https://twitter.com/#!/yoyoha/status/117050709391835136 His bio and stats on 7 November 2012: I'm just a boy, standing in front of the internet, asking it to love him. Location: Columbus, Ohio · http://www.statusillustrated.com - 9,690 tweets. 668 following. 44,423 followers.

Warby Parker CEO: Advertising on Facebook hasn't worked. 90% of interactions on FB, Twitter, Instagram are customer service.

27 September 2012 Henry Blodget ‏@hblodget [^119.64] https://twitter.com/hblodget/status/251318108030115840 - No bio, only these stats: 16,888 tweets. 414 following. 60,974 followers. FB = Facebook.

The way 'Customer Service' is being run by most companies these days, It seems like it's up to the customer to provide all of the service.

14 July 2011 PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz - https://twitter.com/#!/llvvzz/status/91620215649075200 Her bio and stats on 20 December 2012: I am not your perception of me. I control your perception of me. http://facebook.com/llvvzzz @llvvzzz for #FF Check out Tweet~Mates! at http://llvvzz.com - I Own A Chihuahua · http://favstar.fm/users/llvvzz - 1,985 tweets. 83,157 following. 83,737 followers. Indexed under her alternate ID: @lvvzz [^119.65].

Just got off the phone with IT. I wonder why after I re-described my issue after they resolved it that they abruptly said goodbye and hungup

16 August 2011 The Office Prick ‏@theofficeprick [^119.66] https://twitter.com/theofficeprick/status/103475283016957952 Twitter bio and stats on 26 October 2013: Documenting and chronicling the daily actions of The Office Prick. Yes, these are true. 112 tweets. 48 following. 61 followers. On 26 October 2013, this account's most recent tweet was dated 13 January 2012.

Jesus, people. What's the rule of the Internet even your grandparents know?

"Tech support will NEVER ask for your account information"

7 November 2013 Scriven King ‏@scrivenlking [^119.67] https://twitter.com/scrivenlking/status/398661193167937536 Bio: Worldly security professional with experience in physical security, threat management, & asset protection. Plus I rap in Gaelic. My flow is daingean. Location: Worldwide · scrivenlking.me - 15,517 tweets. 2,001 following. 1,238 followers.

Tweeted after news reports emerged that Edward Snowden had persuaded between 20 and 25 of his collegues at the NSA operations center in Hawaii to give him their login and password information during Snowden's month-long tenure at that facility. He is alleged to have used those login credentials to gain access to classified material that he subsequently leaked to the media.

If a sysadmin needs YOUR password at work and has to ask you for it, he's not a very good sysadmin.

7 November 2013 Scriven King ‏@scrivenlking [^119.68] https://twitter.com/scrivenlking/status/398660384573243392 Bio: Worldly security professional with experience in physical security, threat management, & asset protection. Plus I rap in Gaelic. My flow is daingean. Location: Worldwide · scrivenlking.me - 15,517 tweets. 2,001 following. 1,238 followers.

. @scrivenlking A sysadmin should not need YOUR password but also should also not be able to get it from the system either. #saltedhashes

7 November 2013 Martin Badke, CJL ‏@lauxmyth [^119.69] https://twitter.com/lauxmyth/status/398663641253576704 Bio: For #Movember, I am Martin The Bad @ http://ca.movember.com/mospace/7494409 I want facial hair and sponsorships. Certified Journeyman Locksmith. Location: Edmonton, 'Pale Blue Dot' · lauxmyth.blogspot.com - 7,336 tweets. 1,888 following. 967 followers.

Adobe lost 130 MILLION passwords -- but encrypted. The hints are in plain text!! #fail

7 November 2013 Martin Badke, CJL ‏@lauxmyth [^119.70] https://twitter.com/lauxmyth/status/398663641253576704 Bio: For #Movember, I am Martin The Bad @ http://ca.movember.com/mospace/7494409 I want facial hair and sponsorships. Certified Journeyman Locksmith. Location: Edmonton, 'Pale Blue Dot' · lauxmyth.blogspot.com - 7,336 tweets. 1,888 following. 967 followers. Some password systems provide options for users to append hints to their passwords to aid in password recall, in case a user forgets.

At #NSA asking anyone for his/her password/login is itself a pretty serious security violation.

You do that math, folks.

7 November 2013 John Schindler ‏@20committee [^119.71] https://twitter.com/20committee/status/398658385861545984 Bio: Professor, Naval War College; Chair, PfP CT Working Group; Senior Fellow, Boston University; former NSA & NAVSECGRU - talking intel & security, views my own. Location: Newport, RI · 20committee.com - 23,355 tweets. 388 following. 6,324 followers.

Tweeted in regard to Edward Snowden, as described above.

First ask "Is it plugged in?"

If yes, say "Try rebooting."

If that fails, put customer on hold indefinitely.

(tech support training manual)

25 May 2011 Clarke Kant @clarkekant [^119.72] https://twitter.com/#!/clarkekant/status/73528578490372097 Bio and stats on 18 November 2012: I'm all for saving the world, just not necessarily the people. Now available on http://Witstream.com ! Location: America-ish · http://favstar.fm/users/clarkekant - 9,997 tweets. 776 following. 29,442 followers.

**What I resent most in these dealings with customer service people is being made to feel that I am being unreasonable and khadoos.** ½

3 September 2013 Swarna Rajagopalan ‏@swarraj [^119.73] https://twitter.com/swarraj/status/374816078171340800 Her Twitter bio: Political scientist by training, writer, analyst, freelance researcher, highly educated factotum, sometimes teacher, building a thinktank called Prajnya. Location: India · swarnar.com. 28,960 tweets. 838 following. 2,702 followers.

khadoos = arrogant, condescending, snobbish.

**And most exhausting is having to take an aggressive tone over something that really is quite trivial, because it's what seems to work.** 2/2

3 September 2013 Swarna Rajagopalan ‏@swarraj [^119.74] https://twitter.com/swarraj/status/374816329355653121 Her Twitter bio: Political scientist by training, writer, analyst, freelance researcher, highly educated factotum, sometimes teacher, building a thinktank called Prajnya. Location: India · swarnar.com. 28,960 tweets. 838 following. 2,702 followers.

I just got off the phone with an irate client. Hopefully, he didn't notice that I got off.

16 August 2011 Sly @slyoung5 [^119.75] https://twitter.com/#!/slyoung5/status/103578759285850113 Her bio stats on 7 November 2012: Straightjackets required. No corners allowed. Love bouncing! Location: Canada · http://favstar.fm/users/slyoung5 - 27,287 tweets. 8,732 following. 14,630 followers.

In the world of customer service, a client who shows the slightest hint of dissatisfaction is branded as "irate" for the rest of their life

27 May 2011 Jocelyn TestesHarder @FilthyRichmond [^119.76] https://twitter.com/#!/FilthyRichmond/status/74169574425231360 Twitter bio and stats on 5 March 2013 for Jocelyn Plums @FilthyRichmond - Kiss Mommy's cold sore and make it better! #RVA http://FilthyRichmond.com Location: Richmond, VA · http://favstar.fm/users/filthyrichmond/recent - 9,914 tweets. 3,384 following. 65,783 followers.

Nothing is more vital to client relations than a mute button.

12 May 2011 @Bitterjojo - https://twitter.com/#!/Bitterjojo/status/68764889413468161 Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 1 September 2013: Joelle Boucai @joelleboucai [^119.77] I'm a writer for Jimmy Kimmel Live and a big fan of Diet Coke. Los Angeles, CA. 2,417 tweets. 283 following. 3,988 followers.

Stock photography is the only place where people smile while wearing a telephone headset.

2 November 2011 Jocelyn Plums @FilthyRichmond [^119.78] https://twitter.com/#!/FilthyRichmond/status/131818851175374848 Twitter bio and stats on 5 March 2013 for Jocelyn Plums @FilthyRichmond - Kiss Mommy's cold sore and make it better! #RVA http://FilthyRichmond.com Location: Richmond, VA · http://favstar.fm/users/filthyrichmond/recent - 9,914 tweets. 3,384 following. 65,783 followers.

Shout out to operators standing by.

14 April 2012 George Wallace ‏@MrGeorgeWallace [^119.79] https://twitter.com/#!/MrGeorgeWallace/status/191302710329491458 His bio and stats on 1 May 2013: This is the Official George Wallace Twitter. Trying to serve it up with hot sauce for you. God bless. Location: Las Vegas, NV · http://www.georgewallace.net - 6,353 tweets. 1,287 following. 56,909 followers. No relation to the former governor of Alabama with the same name.

If you think people are mean on twitter, you should try working in a restaurant.

12 May 2013 mlkef ‏@mlkef [^119.80] https://twitter.com/mlkef/status/333656454269652992 His bio and stats on 17 May 2013: Welcome to my twitter. It gets worser everyday. Location: outskirts of nowhere · dontclickhereclickfollow.org - 5,773 tweets. 945 following. 1,298 followers. The second letter in @mlkef is a lowercase L.

Good afternoon, everyone! How do you react when you see someone being rude to people in customer service positions? Do you do/say anything?

8 August 2012 Princess Kim ‏@RealPrincessKim [^119.81] https://twitter.com/RealPrincessKim/status/233333221453074433 Her Twitter bio and stats on 1 September 2013: Legally and officially Princess Kim. My family and friends are my life. Location: San Diego, California, USA. 49,033 tweets. 1,914 following. 6,570 followers.

I enjoy quaint, old-fashioned customs like being nice to people.

10 July 2012 Galia Mango ‏@galiamango [^119.82] https://twitter.com/galiamango/status/222754297107066881 Her bio and stats on 6 October 2012: Fashion designer. More likely to follow you if you're funny, attractive, or have passable grammar. If you score 2/3 your chances of being RTed are pretty high. Location: Amman, Jordan · http://www.galiamango.com - 4,454 tweets. 981 following. 10,872 followers.

I am so nice.

17 July 2012 Mae ‏@mzeld [^119.83] https://twitter.com/mzeld/status/225425133085536257 Her bio and stats on 12 November 2012: LET'S DO TWEETS OFF EACH OTHER'S BUTTS http://www.internet.com - 16,846 tweets. 698 following. 21,805 followers.

Dear Customer,

I was having a really bad day.

Your compliments meant more that you'll ever know.

Thanks for cheering me up.

16 July 2011 Jennifer Turner @LadyJ3000 [^119.84] https://twitter.com/#!/LadyJ3000/status/92399729098493952 Her Twitter bio and stats on 1 September 2013: Longtime horror fan and proud geek. Author of a fabulous blog and contributor to @Horrortalk.com. Location: Cayucos · ladyj3000.blogspot.com - 512 tweets. 105 following. 75 followers.

It just takes a second to be kind. Just a second extra...

3 May 2012 VunderBar VunderBar ‏@BarW38 [^119.85] https://twitter.com/BarW38/status/198041620879380480 Her bio and stats on 17 October 2012: You can call me a exhibitionist, sadist, or masochist but I prefer the term fun. I am an artist... (bio via @awakeningbrett, name by @wrdsmythe). Location: the mountains · http://barwalker.com/index.html - 55,785 tweets. 1,232 following. 1,792 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  120. How to deal with angry people

How to deal with angry people? The following quote is from a story about a woman who called the police after her neighbor repeatedly refused to clean up after a dog that the neighbor owned. The caller was angry when the police arrived.

So what to do with people like this? Let them rant. When they take a breath, repeat back what they said in your own words. Any counselor will tell you that repetitively explaining anger dispels it. You don't have to fix anything. You don't have to make any promises you don't intend to keep. The important thing is the angry person thinks, "Finally, I found someone who will listen."

Allowing someone to rant and rave in your presence means giving them at least the illusion of control. It takes a lot of patience and fortitude. I recommend for practice that the guys should try it on their wives.

The two paragraphs above are quoted from this article: "How to Deal With Angry People: David Haynes," by David Haynes, Business Week, 12 April 2012, http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2012-04-12/how-to-deal-with-angry-people-david-haynes

No Twitter ID found on 3 September 2013 for David Haynes [^120.1]. His Business Week bio on 3 September 2013: David Haynes is a sergeant in the Chicago Police Department and co-author of The Beat Cop's Guide to Chicago Eats.

The quotes in the article were told to Devin Leonard. His Twitter bio and stats on 3 September 2013: devin leonard @devinleonard [^120.2] I'm a writer for Bloomberg Businessweek. Location: New Jersey · devinleonard.com. 203 tweets. 64 following. 482 followers.

Twitter bio and stats on 3 September 2013 for: Businessweek @BW [^120.3] Bloomberg Businessweek stories and blog posts on business, finance, technology and more. Location: New York, NY · businessweek.com. 25,381 tweets. 65 following. 319,573 followers.

With angry people: let them rant. Gives illusion of control.

http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2012-04-12/how-to-deal-with-angry-people-david-haynes

How to negotiate: don't rush.

http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2012-04-12/how-to-negotiate-david-boies

5 May 2012 https://twitter.com/#!/aem76us/status/198680786818437120

I think I really turned around on my job when I started to be amused by stupid people as opposed to annoyed.

3 August 2012 Ben Udashen ‏@Udashen [^120.4] https://twitter.com/Udashen/status/231222365802090496 His bio and stats on 25 October 2012: More neurotic than erotic. Location: Seattle, WA · http://www.udashen.com - 7,720 tweets. 388 following. 219 followers.

If you insist on stroking someone's ego, make it a customer's.

16 February 2012 Lee Clow's Beard ‏ @leeclowsbeard [^120.5] https://twitter.com/#!/leeclowsbeard/status/170195080852930562 Twitter bio and stats on 27 August 2013: Musings on advertising and facial topiary. Usually daily. Often dandruff-free. The book: http://amzn.to/LCBbook • The story: http://bit.ly/LeeClowTalksLCB - leeclowsbeard.com. 1,126 tweets. 250 following. 34,879 followers.

• • • • •

These three methods for managing commercial clients in the contact-center industry can be applied elsewhere:

1. Constant communication, e.g., daily conference calls, especially when a program is just starting up.

2. Reporting, e.g., morning reports showing metrics from the previous day. Sent every day or as agreed.

3. When problems appear, action plans are developed and implemented to address them.

If there is a service interruption or other problem and a customer is immediately notified, they are less likely to become angry and distrustful.

Once a project "goes off the rails" and starts performing poorly, it can be like a freight train jumping the tracks and heading off through the forest. The longer it takes to implement corrective actions, the more likely that the project's workplace culture and the project as a whole may become damaged beyond repair.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  121. How to Negotiate

When they say "we won't negotiate unless..." they're already negotiating.

31 January 2013 Iyad El-Baghdadi ‏@iyad_elbaghdadi [^121.1] https://twitter.com/iyad_elbaghdadi/status/296915597894225921 His bio: I startup startups, coach social media, tweet revolutions, and make fun of tyrants. Islamic libertarian. Location: Dubai, UAE · el-baghdadi.com - 44,400 tweets. 1,231 following. 17,617 followers.

In giving advice on how to negotiate, the attorney David Boies said that before you start negotiating, decide what the best deal might look like for you. Then decide what the worst deal could be that you would still accept. Successful negotiations are likely to fall somewhere within those two extremes, he said.

David Boies discourages posturing and entering negotiations with extreme offers. Starting with an extremely high offer could be interpreted as your last-best-offer and that no deal is therefore possible. At the other extreme, if you start by hinting that an extremely low deal is possible, the other side may give that too much importance and balk at anything else. Backing off from extreme positions can hurt your credibility and make a final deal more difficult, Boies said.

Patience is a virtue. Negotiations take time. If you appear to be hurry, the other side could see that as desperation.

Boies finds that most people enter into negotiations with viewpoints that are not likely to change much during negotiations. The other side has probably put a lot of thought into the negotiations, just as you have. They are not suddenly going to declare: "That's a great argument, we give in." At least that's never happened to David Boies.

The four paragraphs above are paraphrased from this article: "How to Negotiate: David Boies," by David Boies, Business Week, 12 April 2012, http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2012-04-12/how-to-negotiate-david-boies At the time, David Boies was the chairman of the law firm Boies, Schiller & Flexner, which represented Al Gore in Bush v. Gore.

Twitter bio and stats on 3 September 2013 for: David Boies @TheDavidBoies [^121.2] 19 tweets. 6 following. 190 followers. On 3 September 2013 his most recent tweet was dated 10 December 2010.

The quotes in the article were told to Devin Leonard. His Twitter bio and stats on 3 September 2013: devin leonard @devinleonard [^121.3] I'm a writer for Bloomberg Businessweek. Location: New Jersey · devinleonard.com. 203 tweets. 64 following. 482 followers.

Twitter bio and stats on 3 September 2013 for: Businessweek @BW [^121.4] Bloomberg Businessweek stories and blog posts on business, finance, technology and more. Location: New York, NY · businessweek.com. 25,381 tweets. 65 following. 319,573 followers.

Epicurean Dealmaker gives us two concluding thoughts on negotiating:

Everybody thinks they're a good negotiator. They are correct approximately 5% of the time.

23 June 2013 Epicurean Dealmaker ‏@EpicureanDeal [^121.5] https://twitter.com/EpicureanDeal/status/348931607694041089 Twitter bio and stats on 25 June 2013: The beatings will continue until morale improves. Location: The Lake of the Coheeries · epicureandealmaker.blogspot.com - 31,934 tweets. 156 following. 9,161 followers.

Most buyers and sellers in deals overplay their hand. This is true in business, politics, and everything else.

23 June 2013 Epicurean Dealmaker ‏@EpicureanDeal [^121.6] https://twitter.com/EpicureanDeal/status/348931237802557440 Twitter bio and stats on 25 June 2013: The beatings will continue until morale improves. Location: The Lake of the Coheeries · epicureandealmaker.blogspot.com - 31,934 tweets. 156 following. 9,161 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  122. Issues with other employees

Self-deprecation is largely absent here. Some of these quotes are taken out of context and do not originate from workplace environments.

New hire was getting a little talky. So I looked at him, stapled my hand, pulled it out with my teeth and spit it at him. Instant silence.

30 July 2009 Soap Box Liberal @GPappalardo [^122.1] http://twitter.com/GPappalardo/status/2935061322 Twitter bio and stats on 29 August 2013: Don't believe everything you read. Location: San Diego · puzzld.tumblr.com. 15,420 tweets. 1,094 following. 5,207 followers.

This tweet is a joke. Do not staple your hand.

The more you talk about yourself, the less I care what you've done.

19 September 2011 rands ‏@rands [^122.2] https://twitter.com/#!/rands/status/115939860279336960 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 8,540 tweets. 499 following. 27,448 followers.

There's a fine line between "competitive" and "asshole."

19 January 2011 Jason @CranberryPerson [^122.3] https://twitter.com/#!/CranberryPerson/status/27727725036838912 No account with this Twitter ID found on 6 September 2013.

Want to feel like less of an asshole? Try doing something nice for someone willingly and without all the sighs of resentment.

30 April 11 Joel Ingersoll ‏@FlyoverJoel [^122.4] https://twitter.com/flyoverjoel/status/64535933130776577 His bio and stats on 10 December 2012: I get up and I put on pants. Location: Saint Paul, MN · http://favstar.fm/users/FlyoverJoel/most_retweeted - 9,975 tweets. 540 following. 6,314 followers.

Highly effective people irritate the fuck out of me because of their annoying habits.

1 November 2010 designersays @designersays [^122.5] https://twitter.com/#!/designersays/status/29430447128 His bio and stats on 28 April 2013: When coworkers piss me off, I start sending them very serious work-related emails with a blank subject line. Don't fuck with me. Location: Sydney Australia · http://www.facebook.com/pages/Hieu-Nguyen/261238103906955 - 1,985 tweets. 458 following. 9,750 followers.

The 8th habit of highly effective people is ignoring a problem until it becomes an emergency that someone else will handle for you.

27 March 2012 Joel Ingersoll ‏@FlyoverJoel [^122.6] https://twitter.com/flyoverjoel/status/184655022477422592 His bio and stats on 10 December 2012: I get up and I put on pants. Location: Saint Paul, MN · http://favstar.fm/users/FlyoverJoel/most_retweeted - 9,975 tweets. 540 following. 6,314 followers.

You would not believe how famous I am in my head.

18 September 2011 Scott McGrew @iNusku [^122.7] https://twitter.com/#!/iNusku/status/115617506512736256 Bio and stats on 31 January 2013: recovering narcissist. Location: Lubbock, TX · http://nusku.tumblr.com - 500 tweets. 234 following. 440 followers.

A proof of good parenting? That the child has no desire to be famous.

17 October 2012 Alain de Botton ‏@alaindebotton [^122.8] https://twitter.com/alaindebotton/status/258566211816800256 His bio and stats on 3 February 2013: Writer; most recently of 'Religion for Atheists'. Location: London · http://tinyurl.com/chcbro9 - 547 tweets. 4,460 following. 319,669 followers.

"Hey, I just tell it like it is, I pull no punches." -- every self-important asshole, ever

3 October 2011 BillCorbett ‏@BillCorbett [^122.9] https://twitter.com/#!/BillCorbett/status/120984032535252992 His bio and stats on 4 February 2013: Writer actor MST3K RiffTrax! http://billcorbett.tumblr.com/ - Location: Minneapolis · http://www.rifftrax.com/ - 31,521 tweets. 1,480 following. 33,227 followers.

This headache feels like dumb people

4 November 2012 kelly ‏@kjmeow [^122.10] https://twitter.com/kjmeow/status/265217602668879873 Bio: memphis.mom.i am a very serious person. Location: memphis · http://favstar.fm/users/kjmeow - 12,199 tweets. 2,885 following. 3,300 followers. Her background photo shows a cat wearing a wig.

One of my colleagues is so dumb, I think he needs watering.

25 June 2009 blondediva11 @blondediva11 [^122.11] on Favrd. URL lost. Her Twitter bio and stats on 4 February 2013: I enjoy breathing. Location: On your dad's funstick · http://favstar.fm/users/blondediva11 - 9,949 tweets. 1,353 following. 6,222 followers. The last two characters of her user name are the number eleven.

Get away from me with your Dumb.

4 December 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^122.12] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/275875586713473024 Her bio: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 11,091 tweets. 1,629 following. 1,788 followers.

I wouldn't say you're stupid, I'd scream it.

24 October 2012 Kobbejaeger ‏@Kobbejaeger [^122.13] https://twitter.com/Kobbejaeger/status/261105022081839105 His bio: Demotivational speaker, in need of shoes. Undertakers dig me. http://favstar.fm/users/Kobbejaeger/recent - Location: Ghent, Belgium · http://favstar.fm/users/Kobbejaeger - 1,376 tweets. 3,407 following. 3,640 followers.

GET DA FUUUUUUCK AWAY FROM ME WITH YOUR DUMB!

28 March 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^122.14] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/317221368779399168 Her bio and stats on 2 April 2013: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 14,407 tweets. 2,079 following. 2,104 followers.

You're not stupid. You just have bad luck with thinking.

20 June 2012 SEAN ‏@SRbeta [^122.15] https://twitter.com/SRbeta/status/215512089379348481 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: Clams were not a delicacy at the time, but of a poor mans diet. http://mrbagel.tumblr.com - 28,884 tweets. 439 following. 2,274 followers.

He's not the sharpest marble in the crayon shed.

4 October 2012 Tony P. ‏@STEELERS1972 [^122.16] https://twitter.com/STEELERS1972/status/253962078338043904 His bio and stats on 6 October 2012: http://favstar.fm/users/STEELERS1972 Location: Nashville TN. 13,294 tweets. 2,734 following. 2,921 followers.

Sometimes, you look calmly back on a relationship and realize that person could not possibly have understood half of what you were saying.

19 April 2011 The Bosha ‏@TheBosha [^122.17] https://twitter.com/#!/TheBosha/status/60538597593464832 His bio and stats on 16 November 2012: Get off my lawn. Location: Near the Tannhäuser Gate · http://www.witstream.com/#jim_bosha - 13,149 tweets. 476 following. 11,858 followers.

'Social skills' is usually just a euphemism for the ability to handle idiots

15 May 2013 The Bad Doctor ‏@doctoratlarge [^122.18] https://twitter.com/doctoratlarge/status/334628376352546816 His bio: I'm the doctor nobody warned you about. Also, I hate assholes \- because I couldn't become one. Location: Jaipur · http://doctoratlarge.wordpress.com/ - 39,417 tweets. 293 following. 20,024 followers.

When I talk to you I feel like I'm talking to a potato

25 June 2012 ☠Riley☠ ‏@titsm0nster - https://twitter.com/titsm0nster/status/217292206883606528 Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 14 June 2013: روح @cosmictits [^122.19] i eat plants. 13,726 tweets. 114 following. 799 followers.

It's like talking to a goldfish.

15 February 2013 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^122.20] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/302624352766148609 His bio and stats on 3 March 2013: i was born 'n stuff. Location: Hanging out in my garage. · http://favstar.fm/users/RobotThomas - 41,759 tweets. 7,787 following. 7,147 followers.

I respect your opinion, but it's very stupid and you should come up with a different one.

25 October 2012 bllix ‏@bllix [^122.21] https://twitter.com/bllix/status/261648843521785857 Her bio and stats on 30 October 2012: Electronic music producer/knob-twiddler, MYLF, Multilingual programmer, Attorney at LOL, Thug 4 Life, Laundromancer, METAL AS FVCK. Damn, Gina. Location: Portland, OR. · http://bllix.tumblr.com - 12,746 tweets. 501 following. 4,516 followers.

How many narcissists does it take to screw up a website?

4 November 2011 Scott McGrew @iNusku [^122.22] https://twitter.com/#!/iNusku/status/132577155262578688 Bio and stats on 31 January 2013: recovering narcissist. Location: Lubbock, TX · http://nusku.tumblr.com - 500 tweets. 234 following. 440 followers.

Show me on the website where you're part of the problem.

3 September 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^122.23] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/374927290242576384 Twitter bio and stats on 30 December 2013 for this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 17,120 tweets. 729 following. 28,655 followers.

Did you know you can get away with any major fuck up at work, simply by pointing the blame at someone else?

6 March 2012 Sebastion ‏@UluwatuSiap [^122.24] https://twitter.com/#!/UluwatuSiap/status/177262765524783105 Screen name, bio and stats on 4 March 2013: That Rude Cunt @UluwatuSiap - @Lipgloss_Nerd and I are no longer here. Perhaps we never really were. Unfollow guilt free. Location: Island of Delusions. 2,350 tweets. 737 following. 9,441 followers. The last tweets from both accounts were dated 9 December 2012. Bio and stats on 4 March 2013 of: That Horrible Girl @Lipgloss_Nerd - @UluwatuSiap and I are no longer here. Perhaps we never really were. Unfollow guilt free. Location: Island of Delusions. 1,528 tweets. 628 following. 6,430 followers.

Failure is becoming someone who needs others to fail.

1 February 2013 Alain de Botton ‏@alaindebotton [^122.25] https://twitter.com/alaindebotton/status/297575773013942274 Bio: Writer; most recently of 'Religion for Atheists'. Location: London · http://tinyurl.com/chcbro9 - 547 tweets. 4,460 following. 319,669 followers.

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the team I work in.

21 August 2012 Sixth Form Poet ‏@sixthformpoet [^122.26] https://twitter.com/sixthformpoet/status/237890354358145026 Bio and stats on 16 March 2013: Please buy my book, I owe people money. Location: Brighton · amzn.to/RAKKY9 - 5,856 tweets. 675 following. 77,490 followers.

Non-cooperation and non-performance can make a person appear important to themselves.

" **You want to avoid working with people who make no mistakes, or with people who make the same mistake twice**." -Martin Lo via @johnmaeda

9 January 2012 midtowngirl ‏@_Midtowngirl [^122.27] https://twitter.com/#!/_Midtowngirl/status/156517976454070272 Bio and stats on 16 March 2013: Investment Banking.100% Nerd. @Columbia alumni. Native NY'er (Born & Raised on the Upper West Side) with typical cynical outlook on life only true NYers have. Location: Midtown, Manhattan. 11,091 tweets. 179 following. 499 followers.

No Twitter bio found on 6 September 2013 for Martin Lo [^122.28].

Twitter bio and stats on 6 September 2013: johnmaeda @johnmaeda [^122.29] President, Rhode Island School of Design. Former MIT Professor, Media Lab. MBA/PhD. Laws of Simplicity, Redesigning Leadership, Design+Technology+Business+Life. Location: Providence, RI · creativeleadership.com. 4,482 tweets. 7,434 following. 348,454 followers.

I can handle criticism no problem just don't tell it to me or think it while looking at me.

26 May 2012 jon ‏@senderblock23 [^122.30] https://twitter.com/senderblock23/status/206476696709365761 Bio and stats on 20 December 2012: Titular pianist. senderblock.tumblr.com \- 4,150 tweets. 423 following. 9,818 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 28 June 2013: Nincompoop. senderblock.tumblr.com - 6,747 tweets. 587 following. 13,932 followers.

Burning bridges is a lot more effective if you make sure you're not both on the same side of the river

7 September 2011 @artpablosco - https://twitter.com/#!/artpablosco/status/111423435292413952 Twitter screen name, ID and stats (no bio) on 6 September 2013: fart lambrusco @fartlambrusco [^122.31] 26,535 tweets. 1,907 following. 2,554 followers.

As a means of rapidly acquiring momentum -- guilt does a fine job -- but the initial quality of the momentum is crap.

21 April 2011 rands ‏@rands [^122.32] https://twitter.com/#!/rands/status/61098964451209216 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 8,540 tweets. 499 following. 27,448 followers.

The quickest way to see if someone really cares about you is do better than them and see how they act.

14 July 2011 PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz - https://twitter.com/#!/llvvzz/status/91631306244505601 Her bio and stats on 20 December 2012: I am not your perception of me. I control your perception of me. http://facebook.com/llvvzzz @llvvzzz for #FF Check out Tweet~Mates! at http://llvvzz.com - I Own A Chihuahua · http://favstar.fm/users/llvvzz - 1,985 tweets. 83,157 following. 83,737 followers. Indexed under her alternate ID: @lvvzz [^122.33].

If you are going to talk shit about your co-workers why don't you just get Twitter account like a normal person MICHAEL?

1 August 2013 jenncow ‏@Jennco_W [^122.34] https://twitter.com/Jennco_W/status/363027390873600000 Her bio: I've paid for my sins. Now give me my change! 4,412 tweets. 1,080 following. 1,222 followers.

I really hate my job but absolutely love the backstabbing.

29 August 2010 BENN @Benn_Dover [^122.35] https://twitter.com/Benn_Dover/status/22419650201 His Twitter bio and stats on 20 June 2013: Fuck like you need money. Stalk like they're already falling in love with you. You're welcome. Location: Location, location · favstar.fm/users/benn_dover - 4,001 tweets. 580 following. 2,261 followers.

"Whenever you find two Indians you will find mischief," said Sunil Kumar Gupta, the jail's spokesman, explaining that it is jail policy never to put just two people in a cell, always three or more. "If the two are creating mischief, the third will inform the jail authorities."

The above paragraph is quoted from an article on India's Tihar prison, "New Delhi Journal: Rehabilitation Comes to a Prison and to Its Inmates," by Lydia Polgreen, The New York Times, 18 July 2011, https://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/19/world/asia/19delhi.html?_r=2&pagewanted=2

Sunil Kumar Gupta - no Twitter ID identified on 6 September 2013 or 30 July 2014 [^122.36].

Twitter bio and stats on 6 September 2013 for Lydia Polgreen @lpolgreen [^122.37] New York Times Johannesburg Bureau Chief. polgreen@nytimes.com. Location: Johannesburg, South Africa · http://topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/people/p/lydia_polgreen/index.html \- 13,021 tweets. 1,269 following. 32,546 followers.

The New York Times @nytimes [^122.38] Twitter bio and stats on 26 January 2013: Where the Conversation Begins. Follow for breaking news, special reports, http://NYTimes.com homepage links and RTs of our journalists. Location: New York City · http://www.nytimes.com/ - 98,183 tweets. 731 following. 7,289,918 followers.

Most of my work day consists of eavesdropping & silent judging.

13 April 2012 bee @dosesofneurosis [^122.39] https://twitter.com/#!/dosesofneurosis/status/190782221903331328 No account with this ID found on 7 April 2013.

Have you noticed the people who are the most judgmental have the most to hide?

The judgmental part is a ruse to throw us off.

11 November 2011 imtellingmom @imtellingmom [^122.40] https://twitter.com/#!/imtellingmom/status/135133743852687360 Twitter bio and stats on 23 July 2013: I'm telling Mom that you're a whore. (I am not @Jenna_Marbles but my avi is.) Location: in your head · favstar.fm/users/imtellingmom

I hate when people are passive aggressive, not like you would ever even care.

24 July 2011 Kristy Grant ‏@kristygee [^122.41] https://twitter.com/kristygee/status/95207741970333696 Her bio and stats on 13 March 2013: Writer for Anger Management. I'm shy! (giggles & runs behind curtain to hide; falls out window to death). Location: Los Angeles · http://vimeo.com/13219328 \- 1,442 tweets. 373 following. 23,523 followers.

If you're sensitive, you're an asshole.

Go find someone else to walk on egg shells for you.

23 August 2011 rex @tyrhondasaurus [^122.42] https://twitter.com/#!/tyrhondasaurus/status/106128351311314945 Her Twitter bio and stats on 7 September 2013: Just a feisty lil' Irish lass. I finish everything I set my ...I probably think you're an asshole. Some call me Tyler, but my name is Rhonda. 16,097 tweets. 3,172 following. 3,093 followers.

Everyone's open-minded until you disagree with them.

9 December 2011 Kervin Ferreira @kervinf [^122.43] https://twitter.com/#!/kervinf/status/145367087718735872 His bio and stats on 5 November 2012: Graphic designer. Lover of all that is cool. Expert of awesome. Location: ENY, Brooklyn. · http://iamcreativ.com/ - 9,233 tweets. 1,245 following. 5,283 followers.

I've lost more friends from honesty than a lie.

9 June 2011 Shane @shanethevein [^122.44] https://twitter.com/#!/shanethevein/status/78948976438681600 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: Twitter should be an escape, not a destination. http://favstar.fm/users/shanethevein Location: America's Finest City! · http://shanethevein.tumblr.com/ - 21,001 tweets. 5,385 following. 16,054 followers.

Anything you can do I can do while complaining.

9 April 2012 braden graeber ‏@hipstermermaid [^122.45] https://twitter.com/#!/hipstermermaid/status/189547635617701888 His bio and stats on 25 April 2013: Braden Graeber makes, writes and overthinks things. Location: Los Angeles · http://blog.bradengraeber.com - 4,552 tweets. 395 following. 142,036 followers.

Anything you can do, I can do bitter.

24 July 2011 Mr. Won't @Brain_Wash [^122.46] https://twitter.com/#!/Brain_Wash/status/95357321802289153 His bio and stats on 26 May 2013: Mr. Want @Brain_wash Pissed off school teacher. Bitter father. Location: San Francisco · brainnotbrian.tumblr.com - 113 tweets. 0 following. 101 followers.

Anything you can do I can do worse.

12 October 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^122.47] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/256746478532440064 Bio: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 8,435 tweets. 1,614 following. 1,282 followers.

Those who can, do.

Those who can't, bitch.

21 May 2012 Nicole Betz ‏@TomHanksIsHot [^122.48] https://twitter.com/TomHanksIsHot/status/204721882107355136 Her Twitter bio and stats on 12 June 2013: I laugh at jokes I understand. Location: Los Angeles, CA · about.me/nicolebetz - 8,327 tweets. 908 following. 9,664 followers.

You sure do explain yourself a lot for a person who doesn't give a shit.

12 January 2012 Bitch_In_Me ‏@BitchingMe [^122.49] https://twitter.com/BitchingMe/status/157541820077834240 Her bio and stats on 13 January 2013: If you can't handle bitches, fuck off. My DM has autodelete function. In love with my Reality so don't bother. Location: Somewhere but not there · http://favstar.fm/users/BitchingMe/recent - 15,803 tweets. 9,647 following. 10,255 followers.

Been working on my people skills. I can throw them pretty far now.

3 February 2011 Tim Siedell @badbanana [^122.50] https://twitter.com/#!/badbanana/status/33356072869691392 His bio and stats on 13 November 2012: Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire. Location: Nebraska, USA · http://about.me/timsiedell - 14,736 tweets. 270 following. 625,020 followers.

You ever notice how many volunteers there are once you've finished the project?

7 October 2010 Jamie Sloan @Xytrex [^122.51] https://twitter.com/#!/Xytrex/status/26695827056 His bio and stats on 13 January 2013: Amused that you think there's something here worth reading. Location: Everett, WA · http://xytrex.tumblr.com/ 13,015 tweets. 705 following. 2,741 followers.

"I'll wait for the next one." - Procrastinating Lifeguard

11 December 2010 Artie Johann @DearAnyone [^122.52] https://twitter.com/#!/DearAnyone/status/13685315059322880 His Twitter bio and stats on 16 July 2013: Writer for Family Guy. Stares at sun. Eats most objects. Location: Los Angeles · artiejohann.tumblr.com - 3,814 tweets. 593 following. 67,331 followers.

The person I am training has a 2 inch line of drool on her chin. I don't think this is a good sign.

5 June 2012 Hormonella, damn it! ‏@Hormonella [^122.53] https://twitter.com/hormonella/status/210009064808259585 Her bio and stats on 10 December 2012: My body is not my temple. It's more like my bar and grill. Location: Stepford · http://favstar.fm/users/Hormonella/recent - 33,857 tweets. 17,421 following. 20,118 followers.

And God said: "And you will be a million times smarter than all the people you ever work with!" And it came to be.

10 November 2010 Rhona @Alias1on1 [^122.54] https://twitter.com/#!/Alias1on1/status/2477712685932544 Twitter bio and stats on 7 September 2013: it's alright, baby's coming back. Location: Cape Town, South Africa · favstar.fm/users/Alias1on1 - 3,460 tweets. 763 following. 1,362 followers. Her most recent tweet on 7 September 2013 was dated 24 October 2012.

People think I'm stupid.

I should be using that.

9 August 2011 Kay Morgan @KayM77 [^122.55] https://twitter.com/#!/KayM77/status/100910150021427200 Her bio and stats on 14 March 2013: I'm on Twitter. 18,872 tweets. 248 following. 1,615 followers.

If I were smart, I'd play dumb more often.

2 October 2012 Laura ‏@LBelle1 [^122.56] https://twitter.com/LBelle1/status/253311671530029057 Bio and stats on 4 October 2012: Midwestern mother of two haphazardly cogitating her way through life. Location: U.S. 7,325 tweets. 1,842 following. 1,714 followers.

If I had a dollar for every time my coworker sighed today, I would have $43.00 to spend on ball gags.

21 November 2008 abigvictory (Michele Catalano) from Long Island on Favrd. URL lost. Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 7 September 2013: Michele Catalano @inthefade [^122.57] Freelance writer published by Forbes, The Magazine, Maura Magazine, Boing Boing, Death and Taxes. Author of 1/100 magazine https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/1-100/id653113364?mt=8... hockey fan. Location: Long Island · words.asmallvictory.net/wp/?page_id=2 \- 62,178 tweets. 1,167 following. 892,698 followers.

You know what my office could use? A mute.

7 January 2009 delfie @delfie [^122.58] on Favrd. URL lost. Her Twitter bio and stats on 5 March 2013: Despite all evidence to the contrary, I'm a nice chick, just your average, bulletproof chick. 448 tweets. 93 following. 863 followers. Her most recent tweet as of 31 March 2014 was dated 23 January 2010.

Show me on your tattered patience where all your co-workers touched base.

21 June 2010 richmckay @richmckay [^122.59] https://twitter.com/#!/richmckay/status/16717588750 Twitter bio and stats on 20 June 2013: I was born, never really learned to dance properly, never got over that stage where you can freely wear capes without people questioning you, and then it's now. Location: Brooklyn · favstar.fm/users/richmckay - 1,413 tweets. 718 following. 2,297 followers.

Some days you meet your coworkers and all you think is... Tie. Desk. Staple.

7 May 2013 Shabana Feroze ‏@SilverKick [^122.60] https://twitter.com/SilverKick/status/331695823941406720 Bio: My feet are allergic to flats. IG: shabanaferoze - http://favstar.fm/users/SilverKick/recent - 34,483 tweets. 1,017 following. 5,838 followers.

Remember: This Friday is "Take Your Coworker to Work Day" where you show people you work with how to do their goddamned jobs.

8 December 2010 Sean Tejaratchi @ShittingtonUK [^122.61] https://twitter.com/#!/ShittingtonUK/status/12373508701028352 Twitter bio and stats on 7 September 2013: Every moment you spend hating is like a precious jewel you steal from yourself. Location: Los Angeles, CA · LiarTownUSA.tumblr.com. 3,518 tweets. 355 following. 41,185 followers.

My work has this cute thing they do where if you're really good at your job, they get you to do everyone elses too.

29 May 2012 Steven Hall ‏@HallpassCanada [^122.62] https://twitter.com/HallpassCanada/status/207552561304174592 His bio and stats on 1 November 2012: Just my random thoughts and feelings on stuff. Location: Hamilton Ontario. http://favstar.fm/users/Hallpasscanada/recent - 42,356 tweets. 11,150 following. 13,839 followers.

I crave structure.

For other people.

21 September 2012 Chroma Geddon ‏@ChromaGeddon [^122.63] https://twitter.com/ChromaGeddon/status/249151245258997762 Bio and stats on 21 April 2013: It's ~Dr~ Geddon, if you don't mind. I earned my title from an accredited online college of mixology that I hacked. Location: San Diego, CA · http://iwav.es/setmusicfree - 8,314 tweets. 463 following. 840 followers.

I couldn't be in a relationship.

I need all my patience for work.

3 August 2011 Kay Morgan @KayM77 [^122.64] https://twitter.com/#!/KayM77/status/98753806917042176 Her bio and stats on 14 March 2013: I'm on Twitter. 18,872 tweets. 248 following. 1,615 followers.

We're all circling the drain, but some of us are getting sucked into it louder than others.

1 November 2011 JD Crowe @CroweJam [^122.65] https://twitter.com/#!/CroweJam/status/131499223697993728 His Twitter bio and stats on 7 September 2013: A cartoonist should be obscene and not heard. http://www.facebook.com/CroweToons You can also follow me at @crowetoons. Alabama Gulf Coast · bit.ly/cb2FS0. 9,021 tweets. 1,459 following. 11,146 followers.

On 7 September 2013, JD Crowe's background image was the "Study after Velázquez's Portrait of Pope Innocent X" by the Irish artist Francis Bacon (1909-1992), not to be confused with the English statesman of the same name (1561-1626). Velázquez's original is considered to be one of the best portraits ever painted.

Innocent X (1574-1655) opposed the Peace of Westphalia's treaties of 1648, which established the principle of national sovereignty instead of the practice of states interfering in each other's domestic affairs. Innocent X also armed and funded Irish resistance to the Commonwealth during the English Civil War, an effort that also failed. The artist Francis Bacon depicts Innocent X screaming.

Wow, bad parenting and demonic possession are virtually indistinguishable.

6 December 2008 delfie @delfie [^122.66] on Favrd. URL lost. Her Twitter bio and stats on 5 March 2013: Despite all evidence to the contrary, I'm a nice chick, just your average, bulletproof chick. 448 tweets. 93 following. 863 followers. Her most recent tweet as of 31 March 2014 was dated 23 January 2010.

I prescribe narcissism for people who are still in denial regarding their irrelevance ~ It dulls the pain.

21 May 2011 PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz - https://twitter.com/#!/llvvzz/status/72028655919972353 Her bio and stats on 20 December 2012: I am not your perception of me. I control your perception of me. http://facebook.com/llvvzzz @llvvzzz for #FF Check out Tweet~Mates! at http://llvvzz.com - I Own A Chihuahua · http://favstar.fm/users/llvvzz - 1,985 tweets. 83,157 following. 83,737 followers. Indexed under her alternate ID: @lvvzz [^122.67].

I like to do favors for my enemies just to keep them confused.

5 June 2011 donni @donni [^122.68] https://twitter.com/#!/donni/status/77573920269672448 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Comedy sand wedge. Writer, performer, fledgling opener, packet submitter. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Sea cows probably never see cows. Location: Chicago City Of Wind · http://qr.net/donni - 9,640 tweets. 839 following. 25,773 followers.

How well does submitting letters of resignation for other employees work? Anyone?

13 January 2011 Jessica @CynicalJess [^122.69] https://twitter.com/#!/CynicalJess/status/25567319291854848 Twitter bio and stats on 7 September 2013: Everybody chill the fuck out, I got this. Location: Boston. 1,835 tweets. 180 following. 2,913 followers.

Look. If I don't start getting some respect around here, I'll probably get moved up to management.

8 June 2012 Sarachels ‏@SaraESpivey [^122.70] https://twitter.com/saraespivey/status/211045624546729985 Her bio and stats on 6 November 2012: When it all comes down to it....Im funnier than you. If u dont like me, feel free to kick rocks. @shellyspivey completes me. @LizzieBphat is my accomplice · http://favstar.fm/users/SaraESpivey/recent - 137,405 tweets. 2,455 following. 12,248 followers.

For Christmas this year I gave half my staff iPads and the other half switchblades.

Let's see what happens!

14 December 2010 Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome [^122.71] https://twitter.com/#!/StephenAtHome/status/14780243487232000 Bio and stats on 11 June 2013 of: Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome - ColbertNation.com - 2,732 tweets. 1 following. 4,962,887 followers.

Yes, I have a death wish.

In fact, I have several, they just aren't for me.

10 December 2011 Sarah @SarahFemme [^122.72] https://twitter.com/#!/SarahFemme/status/145710301415878656 Twitter Bio and stats on 7 September 2013: I'll give you cauliflower ears, stupid http://fruitofidlehands.blogspot.com/ - Location: State of Denial. 8,926 tweets. 569 following. 7,023 followers.

At my desk, the motto is, "Don't make me stab you with this pen."

24 February 2010 tenacious d. @debihope [^122.73] http://twitter.com/debihope/status/9575608418 Her bio and stats on 18 November 2012: Just another cute and sexy genius. Location: Closer than you think · http://debshock.tumblr.com - 19,104 tweets. 840 following. 3,896 followers.

Guns don't kill people. People with guns who snap at work kill people.

21 September 2009 MeetingBoy (Meeting Boy) from across the conference table on Favrd. URL lost. Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 8 August 2013: Meeting Boy ‏@MeetingBoy [^122.74] I hate my job. Location: across the conference table · meetingboy.com/posts - 6,123 tweets. 86,778 following. 148,037 followers.

How do you kill someone without being too rude.

11:26 a.m. local time, Tuesday, 14 May 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^122.75] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/334238254645788674 Her bio: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · pelsjas.wordpress.com 16,668 tweets. 2,298 following. 2,351 followers.

Must. Not. Shake. Coworker. To death.

Must. Not. Shake. Coworker. To death.

9 September 2011 Whiskey Tits @SeeEllVee [^122.76] https://twitter.com/#!/SeeEllVee/status/112176409576865793 Her bio and stats on 26 March 2013: I'm right on top of that, Rose! http://favstar.fm/users/SeeEllVee/recent - 9,405 tweets. 1,678 following. 3,608 followers. There are two lowercase Ls in @SeeEllVee.

Happily skipping around the office today telling colleagues that they're lovely.

And by 'lovely' I mean 'death is too good for you'.

12 May 2011 LaurenRP @LaurenRP [^122.77] https://twitter.com/#!/LaurenRP/status/68609059686842369 Her Twitter bio and stats on 8 September 2013: I like beer, computer games, zombie films and Bruce Springsteen. Apart from that I'm a proper girly girl. Avi by @suiz. http://favstar.fm/users/LaurenRP/recent. 4,008 tweets. 1,673 following. 4,416 followers. On 8 September 2013 her most recent tweet was dated 21 February 2013.

**Probably the most successful** _Bring Your Hatchet to Work Day_ **ever**

11 October 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^122.78] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/388681298589396994 Twitter bio and stats on 30 December 2013 for this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 17,120 tweets. 729 following. 28,655 followers. Italics added.

Life begins at 40, so technically it's not murder.

11 April 2012 Red Herring Bear ‏@redherringbear [^122.79] https://twitter.com/#!/redherringbear/status/190321352337670144 His screen name, bio and stats on 14 December 2012: Andy Glib. Word salad spinner. I mangle syntax so you don't have to. 18+ please. Location: Oregon · http://favstar.fm/users/redherringbear/ - 8,747 tweets. 2,036 following. 2,383 followers.

4 foot graves don't hide the smell.

You gotta go 6.

25 July 2012 yourJester ‏@Loli_Sug [^122.80] https://twitter.com/Loli_Sug/status/228096239793758209 Her bio and stats on 30 October 2012: Often inappropriate & by often i mean frequently & by frequently i mean always. My favorite flavor is Vanilla. Location: so close I almost touch · http://favstar.fm/users/Loli_Sug - 51,324 tweets. 2,884 following. 8,238 followers.

One should never fully trust in the apparent stupidity or intelligence of anyone.

9 September 2011 Alain de Botton @alaindebotton [^122.81] https://twitter.com/#!/alaindebotton/status/112377133824880641 His bio and stats on 15 January 2013: Writer; most recently of 'Religion for Atheists'. Location: London · http://tinyurl.com/chcbro9 - 555 tweets. 4,420 following. 308,786 followers.

Half of life's problems would be solved if we carefully chose who to whine to.

23 October 2012 Silver Kick ‏@SilverKick [^122.82] https://twitter.com/SilverKick/status/260846203393175552 Bio: I'm evil. I'm a superhero. http://www.thesilverkickdiaries.com/p/about-me.html. Location: Strolling around your mind. · http://favstar.fm/users/SilverKick/recent - 24,940 tweets. 984 following. 3,603 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  123. Slacking

Multislacking.

16 December 2011 BIG BERTHA @canadian_jane [^123.1] https://twitter.com/#!/canadian_jane/status/147722718664593408 Her Twitter bio and stats on 8 September 2013: Quand je le saurai je vous le dirai... d'ici là, c'est ça qui est ça ! Location: Vancouver, B.C. 16,500 tweets. 29 following. 24 followers. Stats on 3 February 2014: 17,232 tweets. 266 following. 285 followers. @canadian_jane provides a good example of a small account with original material that is tweeted by someone who does not "play for points" or aggressively seek followers. Tweets in English. This tweet plays on multitasking.

I don't even have a plan A

9 February 2012 tatyana @Tat6277 [^123.2] https://twitter.com/#!/Tat6277/status/167681356921446402 She was in Beirut with 631 followers. Her bio and stats on 8 December 2012: ₪ ø lll ·o. Location: Beirut · http://tatyanasl.tumblr.com/ - 8,191 tweets. 602 following. 3,221 followers.

My plan B is regretting plan A

5 May 2012 Muath ‏@Muath_tu [^123.3] https://twitter.com/Muath_tu/status/198895563478016000 His location and stats on 8 December 2012: Saudi Arabia - Jeddah · http://favstar.fm/users/Muath_tu/recent - 5,671 tweets. 488 following. 6,523 followers. No Twitter account with this ID found on 7 August 2013.

i'm a nonworkaholic

3 May 2012 lauren ashley bishop ‏ @sbellelauren [^123.4] https://twitter.com/#!/sbellelauren/status/198096790917087233 Her bio and stats on 1 February 2013: i'm a comedian from arkansas. i live in LA. but i comede all over. http://witstream.com please & thank you http://favstar.fm/users/sbellelauren - http://weakendupdate.tumblr.com – Location: hollywood · http://laurenashleybishop.tumblr.com/ - 9,879 tweets. 999 following. 35,118 followers.

mastering the art of pretending to work.

16 August 2011 i used to be a pet @lcspt [^123.5] https://twitter.com/#!/lcspt/status/103557633046347776 Her Twitter bio and stats on 6 June 2013: i still like to lick. Location: neither here nor there · favstar.fm/users/lcspt/recent - 9,712 tweets. 682 following. 3,754 followers. Formerly kris with a k. @lucyspet.

Using chair.

30 October 2011 bllix ‏@bllix [^123.6] https://twitter.com/#!/bllix/status/130551664947118080 Her bio and stats on 30 October 2012: Electronic music producer/knob-twiddler, MYLF, Multilingual programmer, Attorney at LOL, Thug 4 Life, Laundromancer, METAL AS FVCK. Damn, Gina. Location: Portland, OR. · http://bllix.tumblr.com - 12,746 tweets. 501 following. 4,516 followers.

I'm mentally still.

13 September 2012 Junkyardigan ‏@junkyardigan [^123.7] https://twitter.com/junkyardigan/status/246472005245865984 His bio and stats on 13 November 2012: I'm just a guy. Not that guy. The other guy. Over there. In the back. Hi. 3,345 tweets. 1,719 following. 2,233 followers.

Loafing the dream

14 September 2012 donni @donni [^123.8] https://twitter.com/donni/status/246502249231155200

His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Comedy sand wedge. Writer, performer, fledgling opener, packet submitter. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Sea cows probably never see cows. Location: Chicago City Of Wind · http://qr.net/donni - 9,640 tweets. 839 following. 25,773 followers.

I wonder if a fat, lazy animal has picked me as its "spirit human."

18 May 2012 braden graeber ‏@hipstermermaid [^123.9] His bio and stats on 25 April 2013: Braden Graeber makes, writes and overthinks things. Location: Los Angeles · http://blog.bradengraeber.com - 4,552 tweets. 395 following. 142,036 followers.

What I lack in professionalism, I make up for in unprofessionalism.

29 February 2012 Ron Mexico @Coastiefish [^123.10] https://twitter.com/#!/Coastiefish/status/174985139133218817 His bio and stats on 28 November 2012: lf you can only be good at one thing, be good at cheating....because if you're good at cheating, you're good at everything. Location: Miami! 2,840 tweets. 4,340 following. 11,592 followers.

I have no time to waste.

Every single minute of my day is already being wasted.

24 February 2011 donni @donni [^123.11] https://twitter.com/#!/donni/status/40968768104579072 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Comedy sand wedge. Writer, performer, fledgling opener, packet submitter. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Sea cows probably never see cows. Location: Chicago City Of Wind · http://qr.net/donni - 9,640 tweets. 839 following. 25,773 followers.

Working in an office is mostly just walking really fast & telling people how swamped you are, then going back to your desk & going online.

12 December 2012 Tricia ‏@Im_Tricia [^123.12] https://twitter.com/Im_Tricia/status/278988396528013314 Her bio and stats on 22 December 2012: Jazz hands for life while still keeping it gangsta./Instagram: Im_Tricia/ https://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/[-withheld – Tricia's wish list]. Location: Los Angeles · http://favstar.fm/users/Im_Tricia - 3,164 tweets. 636 following. 24,182 followers.

It's all fun and games until HR sends an email with "Your Twitter Account" in the subject line.

9 April 2012 Make it a Double‏ @WhiskeyandMeds [^123.13] https://twitter.com/#!/WhiskeyandMeds/status/189446379641384960 His Twitter bio and stats on 8 September 2013: Taming Bad Bitches since 76'. 14,345 tweets. 3,108 following. 7,292 followers.

If I knew what I was doing, do you think I'd still be doing this?

27 January 2011 Larry Carlat @evrythingmustgo [^123.14] https://twitter.com/#!/evrythingmustgo/status/30704803969503232 Account found with no bio on 15 June 2013, just these stats: 0 tweets. 1 following. 5 followers. His twittercide note was published as: "Confessions of a Tweeter," by Larry Carlat, The New York Times, 'Lives' section, 11 November 2011, https://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/13/magazine/confessions-of-a-tweeter.html

Sometimes the smartest thing I do is play dumb.

30 August 2011 SarahM @smuttercup [^123.15] https://twitter.com/#!/smuttercup/status/108745684114604032 Bio and stats on 5 November 2012: Because vagina. Location: Whore Island. 863 tweets. 2,503 following. 25,253 followers. Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 25 July 2013, when it appeared that the account had experienced a change in control: J. @smuttercup - 2 tweets. 0 following. 7 followers.

"Not giving a fuck" seems to be a popular career choice nowadays.

7 July 2011 Stacey the Panda @Pan_duh - https://twitter.com/#!/Pan_duh/status/88852237421514752 Her screen name, ID, bio and stats on 12 March 2013: mint cdromney @pan_duh [^123.16] a pessimistic panda trapped in a young woman's body. queen of randomness, master of weirdness, goddess of lolz. powered by MCR and coffee. follow or die. Location: Pizza City · instagram.com/pan__duh - 16,145 tweets. 2,917 following. 6,943 followers.

I don't feel like doing anything constructive today, so i think I'll go to work.

25 July 2012 HOMO THE SPIVEY ‏@kevnasto [^123.17] https://twitter.com/kevnasto/status/228107700008005632 His bio and stats on 9 March 2013: please make sure you have your shots up to date before following. Location: coming to a theater near you · favstar.fm/users/kevnasto - 43,826 tweets. 6,238 following. 8,918 followers.

I'm 3 hours into my workday, which coincidently, is about my limit.

21 November 2011 Kim @Kimmittable [^123.18] https://twitter.com/#!/Kimmittable/status/138640907368013824 Her bio and stats on 7 March 2013: I'm not a doctor, but I think there's something wrong with you. Location: Ontario, Canada · http://favstar.fm/users/Kimpulses - 7,477 tweets. 410 following. 5,816 followers.

Come here hands,

Cradle my head.

5 March 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^123.19] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/308945994299621376 Her bio and stats on 7 March 2013: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 13,394 tweets. 2,005 following. 2,025 followers.

...you want ME to stay back and work an extra hour??!! You insult me SIR!!!

* slaps about face with leather glove *

13 September 2011 Julz Millar @DONTJIMMYMEJULZ [^123.20] https://twitter.com/#!/DONTJIMMYMEJULZ/status/113855081371279361 His bio and stats on 21 May 2013: Hi! If you're new to twitter please enjoy wasting countless hours of your life here. And don't worry, that empty feeling is perfectly normal. 8,190 tweets. 11,679 following. 11,795 followers.

Where the hell did my nap go?

16 September 2011 recordstoregurl @dizzyidjit [^123.21] https://twitter.com/#!/dizzyidjit/status/114856304874504192 Her Twitter bio and stats on 8 September 2013: You're not the boss of me. http://favstar.fm/users/dizzyidjit. 4,107 tweets. 1,004 following. 2,506 followers.

I haven't taken a nap in five days. What have I become?

16 May 2013 David Hoang ‏@davidhoang [^123.22] https://twitter.com/davidhoang/status/335256862670876672 Bio: UX Designer / iOS. Co-founder of @Xhatch. Designed @getcarogram. Former @ExactTarget. Pro Gato. I got a castle in Brooklyn, that's where I dwell. Brooklyn, NY (via Seattle) · https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/carogram/id608609685?ls=1&mt=8 \- 74,253 tweets. 995 following. 4,107 followers.

David Hoang, who serves as a positive role model for some of his followers, then tweeted:

@kvigs I usually take two naps a day LOL

16 May 2013 David Hoang ‏@davidhoang [^123.23] https://twitter.com/davidhoang/status/335257347880525825 Bio: UX Designer / iOS. Co-founder of @Xhatch. Designed @getcarogram. Former @ExactTarget. Pro Gato. I got a castle in Brooklyn, that's where I dwell. Brooklyn, NY (via Seattle) · https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/carogram/id608609685?ls=1&mt=8 \- 74,253 tweets. 995 following. 4,107 followers.

Been inspired to improve weekly scheduling.

Penciling in a 3pm nap for tomorrow, to begin.

14 April 2013 Rameeza Nizami ‏@RameezaNizami [^123.24] https://twitter.com/RameezaNizami/status/323548465818898432 Her bio and stats on 5 May 2013: Unauthorized, unofficial, etc etc. This isn't even me, really. Location: In an office, most of the time. 5,711 tweets. 983 following. 6,186 followers.

I've read the office handbook twice...

no where does it say no napping.

2 October 2012 Jandalize ‏@Jandalize [^123.25] https://twitter.com/Jandalize/status/253107760328232960 Her bio and stats on 11 October 2012: Big nosed woman (Made you look). Location: Good ole North Carolina ~ USA · http://favstar.fm/users/Jandalize - 11,133 tweets. 4,661 following. 5,486 followers.

My dream job is sleep.

20 July 2011 Lauren Greenberg @LaurenGberg - https://twitter.com/#!/LaurenGberg/status/93796857221885954 Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 2 June 2013: Lauren Greenberg @LaurenGreenberg [^123.26] TV Writer. In a really good place emotionally. Location: Los Angeles · instagram.com/laurengreenberg1 - 6,710 tweets. 466 following. 14,707 followers.

Is there a class I can take to learn to become one of those people who can fall asleep in a chair?

25 November 2012 Julius Sharpe ‏@juliussharpe [^123.27] https://twitter.com/juliussharpe/status/272790735772864512 His bio and stats on 4 December 2012: Writer for Family Guy on FOX. Frequent bathrobe wearer. Location: Los Angeles, CA. 4,196 tweets. 509 following. 102,262 followers.

Taking nap lessons.

13 June 2012 bllix S. Preston Esq ‏@bllixodus - https://twitter.com/bllixodus/status/213007969305104385 Her bio and stats on 6 May 2013: http://www.twitter.com/bllix - 176 tweets. 143 following. 518 followers. The same author posts as @bllix [^123.28], @tinybllix, @loudbllix and @bllixodus.

If I ever write a trendy self-help book, it'll be called "There's a Nap for That."

29 September 2011 Artur Bagyants @Bagyants [^123.29] https://twitter.com/#!/Bagyants/status/119433545994342400 His bio and stats on 23 November 2012: Some people grunt at the gym; I scream at the top of my lungs THEY KILLED MY FAMILY as I lift weights. Location: Kansas · http://favstar.fm/users/Bagyants - 486 tweets. 232 following. 6,086 followers.

I really admire your sleep ethic.

6 January 2013 Kyle Lippert ‏@Kyle_Lippert [^123.30] https://twitter.com/Kyle_Lippert/status/286967091901394944 His bio and stats on 6 January 2013: I write things. I also eat most things. Witstream, Playgirl, America's Most Wanted. Location: NYC · twitter.com - 13,788 tweets. 762 following. 22,904 followers. Instead of work ethic.

Coffee's a great way to fool yourself into believing you're going to have a productive day.

30 September 2011 kelly oxford @kellyoxford [^123.31] https://twitter.com/#!/kellyoxford/status/119786574643863553 Her bio and stats on 15 January 2013: Writer. Designed to make you feel like everything is going well. I am your Perestroika. Location: Los Angeles · http://kellyoxford.tumblr.com/ - 3,608 tweets. 756 following. 435,829 followers.

My boss is complaining I don't do enough work.

Its like he thinks this Twitter account just runs itself

29 March 2012 Just Lee ‏@Just_Lee_ [^123.32] https://twitter.com/Just_Lee_/status/185277907684425728 Her bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I have Twitter Tourette Syndrome. Its a real thing. And its incurable. So fuck it. http://favstar.fm/users/just_lee_ - 21,957 tweets. 1,755 following. 10,934 followers. Her bio and stats on 15 April 2014: Lets not make this personal. 781 tweets. 487 following. 2,306 followers.

man, sometimes reporting spambots is the only productive thing I do all day

2 January 2012 Kelsey D Atherton @the_boy - https://twitter.com/#!/the_boy/status/154045064308469760 On 22 December 2012 @the_boy was found to have become ‏@AthertonKD [^123.33] while retaining the screen name Kelsey D Atherton. His bio and stats on 22 December 2012: These tweets are drones. // High volume feed, mostly #NatSec, #Warkids, #BlogTarkin. RTs are conversations, not endorsements. Favs are variable. Cheers! Location: DC, Duke City or Crescent City · http://kelseydatherton.wordpress.com - 34,737 tweets. 757 following, 1,144 followers.

I wish I had my dog's superpower of staring at people until they do things for me.

25 July 2012 Sarcasm Machine ‏@Sarcasm_Machine [^123.34] https://twitter.com/Sarcasm_Machine/status/228161646336552960 Bio and stats 7 August 2012: Tweeting by @beejangles . Suggest a Tweet! Location: Chicago, Illinois. 113 tweets. 11 following. 32,267 followers.

I don't want to set expectations too high, but so far today I've composed an email and photocopied my hand.

Upper management, here I come.

15 June 2009 Josh Hopkins @thedayhascome [^123.35] on Favrd. URL lost. His Twitter bio and stats on 10 August 2013 when his most recent tweet was dated 26 February 2013: father. husband. web designer. geek. thinker. doer. founder of http://40horse.com – Location: Indianapolis, IN · thedayhasco.me - 3,974 tweets. 465 following. 9,012 followers.

Coworker keeps talking to herself. Not sure why she has to do it while she's standing next to me. In my office. Oh, wait...

19 January 2011 Jonathan Sloan @MrBigFists [^123.36] https://twitter.com/#!/MrBigFists/status/27793857236176898 His Twitter bio and stats on 8 August 2013: Witstream contributor. Peace disturber, Public offender, Impractical joker, and all around tomfoolerer. Location: San Francisco · mrbigfists.com. 6,811 tweets. 478 following. 7,762 followers.

It's not that I can't hear you, it's that I don't want to.

11 September 2012 Desi Princess ‏@desi_princess [^123.37] https://twitter.com/desi_princess/status/245603808330268672 Bio: Girl in Progress. Location: Where the Wild Things Are. 1,681 tweets. 497 following. 4,919 followers.

It seems unfair that they keep asking me to do stuff at work.

20 March 2012 IntoxicaTweeted ‏@IntoxicaTweeted [^123.38] https://twitter.com/#!/IntoxicaTweeted/status/182165939494719490 As of 14 April 2013, location: Brooklyn, NY · http://favstar.fm/users/IntoxicaTweeted/recent - 14,953 tweets. 6,667 following. 10,363 followers.

Boss: "You plan on doing anything today or you gonna keep playing on your phone"

Me: "I work like you pay me, a little bit every 2 weeks"

26 April 2012 Pierre ‏@Pierre__4 [^123.39] https://twitter.com/pierre__4/status/195527914429751296 His Twitter bio and stats on 8 September 2013: I'm a New Orleans Fire Fighter not an English Teacher. If my spelling, grammar or puncuation piss you off, you should hear me talk. Location: New Orleans, Louisiana · favstar.fm/users/Pierre__4 - 2,651 tweets. 1,394 following. 2,742 followers.

The thing I don't like about work is having to be conscientious.

Conscious. I mean conscious.

21 August 2011 Kay Morgan @KayM77 [^123.40] https://twitter.com/#!/KayM77/status/105187283707232256 Her bio and stats on 14 March 2013: I'm on Twitter. 18,872 tweets. 248 following. 1,615 followers.

If concentration at work were a sport in the WInter Olympics, today I would be Aruba.

Where was I going with that?

6 July 2011 Buck @buck4itt [^123.41] https://twitter.com/#!/buck4itt/status/88732599895343104 His bio and stats on 5 January 2013: American Humorist in a van wearing loose fitting shorts and holding a puppy. http://favstar.fm/users/buck4itt http://buck4itt.tumblr.com/ Under 18? Go away. Location: Northern California. 4,296 tweets. 9,308 following. 15,550 followers.

Time flies when you're wasting it.

21 January 2012 Artur Bagyants @Bagyants [^123.42] https://twitter.com/#!/Bagyants/status/160775066861309952 His bio and stats on 23 November 2012: Some people grunt at the gym; I scream at the top of my lungs THEY KILLED MY FAMILY as I lift weights. Location: Kansas · http://favstar.fm/users/Bagyants - 486 tweets. 232 following. 6,086 followers.

Once again, time has wasted me.

2 September 2012 Emma ☮ ‏@ByeBlackbirdy [^123.43] https://twitter.com/ByeBlackbirdy/status/242159487719469056 Bio and stats on 20 September 2012: Procrastinator. Graphic Designer. An old soul. Lover of the moon, music and BEARDS. Life without beer and art would be; death. Location: Johannesburg. 4,781 tweets. 564 following. 346 followers.

Some time between now and later, I will be putting things off.

11 July 2011 Scott McGrew @iNusku [^123.44] https://twitter.com/#!/iNusku/status/90606627903901697 Bio and stats on 31 January 2013: recovering narcissist. Location: Lubbock, TX · http://nusku.tumblr.com - 500 tweets. 234 following. 440 followers.

"Man overbored!" -Very bored man complaining loudly

9 December 2011 donni @donni [^123.45] https://twitter.com/#!/donni/status/145361494840836096 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Comedy sand wedge. Writer, performer, fledgling opener, packet submitter. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Sea cows probably never see cows. Location: Chicago City Of Wind · http://qr.net/donni - 9,640 tweets. 839 following. 25,773 followers.

Not only can I burp the alphabet but I can also burp, "That's not my job." in 7...no, now 8 different languages. Who says work is boring?

26 August 2011 Vasculitis Vixen ‏@MistookMistake [^123.46] https://twitter.com/#!/MistookMistake/status/107189716654370816 Her bio and stats on 7 March 2013: When I'm not busy losing 15lbs. so I can fit behind my fridge to get an M&M, I'm tweeting jokes, writing a book, & speaking about my cause: beating Vasculitis. Location: Dallas, Texas · favstar.fm/users/MistookMistake - 2,950 tweets. 2,216 following. 11,058 followers.

I would like to take a minute to thank all of you for being with me through this difficult time. Being bored at work is hard.

11 February 2014 @sshole ‏@Lisa_Laughs_ [^123.47] https://twitter.com/Lisa_Laughs_/status/433321017008594944 Her bio and stats on 14 February 2014: I wrote a funny tweet once. Location: Texas · http://favstar.fm/users/Lisa_Laughs_/recent - 76,384 tweets. 3,450 following. 35,274 followers.

I got so bored at work that I started doing it.

21 October 2009 Lisa Rahmat @lisarahmat [^123.48] on Favrd. URL lost. Her Twitter bio and stats on 25 February 2013: Crazy panda lady who likes looking out windows and things. Location: Singapore · lisarahmat.tumblr.com - 2,341 tweets. 255 following. 3,643 followers.

Want to spice up your Thursday? Bust into your partner's place of work dressed as Batman and just say "...it's time."

5 May 2011 Will Phillips @TheThryll [^123.49] https://twitter.com/#!/TheThryll/status/66164525447118848 His bio and stats on 17 January 2013: Handsome. Unemployed. Handsome. Ken Burns enthusiast. Location: Parts Unknown. 3,304 tweets. 742 following. 15,869 followers.

Lets be honest, no one works on Friday, you all just make appearances

17 August 2012 Justine Nienaber ‏@punkystarfish [^123.50] https://twitter.com/punkystarfish/status/236422641890783232 Her bio and stats on 28 November 2012: I tweet it up like Tweety bird | Social Media Gal @Talooma | Digital Guru in Training |Zimbabwean | Taller than you | Loves Pandas | Favourite time is 12:34. Location: I swam here from Zimbabwe · http://www.justinejoyit.co.za - 12,690 tweets. 507 following. 1,042 followers.

Since I was a philosophy major as an undergraduate, I've suggested that my organization have Causal Friday.

Friday morning, 18 October 2013, Steven Metz ‏@steven_metz [^123.51] https://twitter.com/steven_metz/status/391181449425989632 Security/defense analyst/author focusing on strategy, strategic futures, and insurgency. Angry Moderate: @wpreview columnist. Location: USA · http://www.worldpoliticsreview.com/authors/790/steven-metz - 20,436 tweets. 914 following. 4,374 followers.

There's never a better time to start a fire in the break room then lunch hour on a Friday

22 April 2011 Emmerson McGinnis ‏@Momfia [^123.52] https://twitter.com/#!/momfia/status/61489017346211840 Her bio and stats on 25 February 2013: Writer. Slutwaffle. Irish-American binge drinker with enough rage to fuel her fire & liquor to ignite her desires http://Instagram.com/mommafia Location: St. Louis, Missouri · http://the-momfia.blogspot.com/ - 4,020 tweets.

Text this free code to your boss now for time off work: FUKUBRO.

29 September 2011 Mark Leggett @markleggett [^123.53] https://twitter.com/#!/markleggett/status/119565800905510912 Twitter bio and stats on 9 September 2013: You can tell a lot about a person by reading their bio. Location: New Zealand ∞ · society6.com/MarkLeggett - 19,816 tweets. 854 following. 34,061 followers.

FOR A GOOD TIME, CALL IN SICK

31 July 2012 Aparna Nancherla ‏@aparnapkin [^123.54] https://twitter.com/aparnapkin/status/230366691874451456 Her bio and stats on 21 November 2012: I am a scrunched up napkin with recyclable dreams. Also a comedian in some cultures. Total drag in others. Location: NY/LA sidewalk nook · http://www.aparnacomedy.com - 3,816 tweets. 1,381 following. 17,864 followers.

The elevators are broken & I work on the 17th floor.

Pretty sure I'm the first person ever to use the phone in reception to call in sick.

2 November 2011 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^123.55] https://twitter.com/#!/Schmoodles/status/131630090126753792 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

I increased productivity at work by calling in sick today.

9 March 2012 IntoxicaTweeted ‏@IntoxicaTweeted [^123.56] https://twitter.com/#!/IntoxicaTweeted/status/178114173752983553 As of 14 April 2013, location: Brooklyn, NY · http://favstar.fm/users/IntoxicaTweeted/recent - 14,953 tweets. 6,667 following. 10,363 followers.

AUC graduates don't have to work on tuesdays, right?

3 September 2012 Nadim Galal ‏@nadimgalal [^123.57] https://twitter.com/nadimgalal/status/242745237464838144 His bio and stats on 8 September 2012: Dimos - Ra2ees 7ezb El A7a - A feminist according to some. Location: Cairo, Egypt · http://thebootcampeg.com - 11,004 tweets. 173 following. 607 followers.

Degrees from the American University in Cairo (AUC) convey a special status in Egypt. Many if not most of the Egyptians quoted here are AUC alumni.

Not sure whether I should email my bosses "Miss me?" EVERY day I'm out of the office.

14 November 2012 Michael B Inlaoninni @mikeinla09 [^123.58] https://twitter.com/mikeinla09/status/268879453881503745 His bio and stats on 16 November 2012: Equus africanus asinus. http://concerning-z.tumblr.com/ Location: Los Angeles · http://favstar.fm/users/mikeinla09/recent - 26,063 tweets. 2,096 following. 1,918 followers.

Having a pretty good first day back at work after my vacation.

I should try to remember what it is I do here again.

17 October 2011 Jason Sweeney @sween [^123.59] https://twitter.com/#!/sween/status/125946657975185408 His bio and stats on 18 November 2012: limited edition, macaroni and glitter on construction paper. Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada · http://iamyourcanadianboyfriend.com - 6,366 tweets. 295 following. 1,130,544 followers.

I haven't been to work in four days. I've almost forgotten how to play solitaire and minesweeper.

5 July 2011 Laugh Riot @Laugh_Riot [^123.60] https://twitter.com/#!/Laugh_Riot/status/88095510975623168 Twitter bio and stats on 4 August 2013: Zindagi mein haste raho, jiyo, khush raho kyunki kya pata - kal aage ke do daant ho na ho!! Parody A/c, not Cyrus! ! Location: living on the edge! – Mumbai. 32,868 tweets. 123 following. 34,913 followers.

I got 99 Tabs open, work ain't one

11 December 2012 Justine Joy ‏@punkystarfish [^123.61] https://twitter.com/punkystarfish/status/278421693607849984 Her bio and stats on 6 January 2013: I tweet it up like Tweety bird | Social Media Gal @Talooma | Digital Guru in Training |Zimbabwean | Taller than you | Loves Pandas | Favourite time is 12:34 Location: I swam here from Zimbabwe · http://www.justinejoyit.co.za - 13,003 tweets. 507 following. 1,125 followers.

Nothing jumpstarts my heart like hearing my boss's door open and my computer is frozen on twitter.

Escape, escape motherfucker!

9 November 2011 Calamity ClemRocks @TrueTorontoGirl [^123.62] https://twitter.com/TrueTorontoGirl/status/134331231243468800 Her bio and stats on 30 October 2012: I am ASS whatever.... Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada · http://favstar.fm/users/TrueTorontoGirl \- 19,538 tweets. 1,187 following. 12,323 followers.

This is my business account.

9 January 2012 nerdamage @nerdamage [^123.63] https://twitter.com/#!/nerdamage/status/156315109524914176 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 14,015 tweets. 3,128 following. 9,547 followers.

Putting your current employer in your Twitter handle is like getting a tattoo of your current boyfriend's name.

14 January 2013 Alexia Tsotsis ‏@alexia [^123.64] https://twitter.com/alexia/status/290958858250235904 Her bio and stats on 15 January 2013: Co-Editor at TechCrunch. Breaks news, hearts. alexia@techcrunch.com – Location: iPhone: 34.008553,-118.489311 · http://www.alexiatsotsis.com - 21,712 tweets. 1,475 following. 63,284 followers.

No thank you, I already DO get paid to tweet. My boss just doesn't know it.

17 March 2012 Pimple Eye‏ @PimpleEye - https://twitter.com/#!/PimpleEye/status/180959608490295296 Bio and stats on 6 November 2012: I used to have a pimple, now I don't. Location: Under The Westgate. Melbourne · http://favstar.fm/users/PimpleEye/recent - 28,388 tweets. 852 following. 7,763 followers. Became Fuzzy Pimple @FuzzyPimple [^123.65] in early December 2012.

Whenever I have a twitter break, I check my job.

7 August 2012 Sandy Peters ‏@SandyPeterz [^123.66] https://twitter.com/SandyPeterz/status/232804496764436482 Bio and stats on 15 October 2012: I won't write a bio because it'll sound so much philosophical, so let's just skip it and pretend I left it empty. http://favstar.fm/users/SandyPeterz Location: In a cemetery called body. 821 tweets. 249 following. 262 followers.

I'm getting a raise! This means I'll get $2.73 more an hour to read your tweets.

18 June 2012 Jazzmatazz ‏@Jazzzzzmina [^123.67] https://twitter.com/Jazzzzzmina/status/214767052953632771 Her screen name, bio and stats on 18 March 2013: Brunette Bombshell @Jazzzzzmina - LA face with an Oakland booty... I don't make a move without my BFF @weissbrandon, cuz that's how we roll. http://Favstar.fm/users/Jazzzzzmina/recent - 4,287 tweets. 1,868 following. 16,561 followers.

Almost 10,000 tweets, guess who's not Employee of the Month.

17 February 2011 Steve ‏@FSUSteve [^123.68] https://twitter.com/FSUSteve/status/38268709164421120 His bio and stats on 5 October 2012: It's always my fault @mekaylasmoody ! Location: Florida. 55,624 tweets. 3,472 following. 11,716 followers.

My boss just threatened to fire me if I don't get off the phone.

It's like he doesn't even care about you guys.

12 October 2012 Tommy Karate ‏@TommyKarate [^123.69] https://twitter.com/TommyKarate/status/256746681276719104 His bio: My wife and I have a deal. She can't see my tweets and I can't see her facebook. I'm not really married. http://favstar.fm/users/TommyKarate/recent Location: Brooklyn, NY · http://favstar.fm/users/TommyKarate/most_retweeted - 14,282 tweets. 878 following. 3,701 followers. On 8 April 2013 this account was found to have been disabled. This tweet refers to tweeting from his phone, rather than making voice calls.

My boss asked me to show him what I do all day and now he's addicted to twitter.

14 November 2012 Ron Mexico @Coastiefish [^123.70] https://twitter.com/Coastiefish/status/268748222921596928 His bio and stats on 21 November 2012: lf you can only be good at one thing, be good at cheating....because if you're good at cheating, you're good at everything. Location: Miami! 2,816 tweets. 4,348 following. 11,535 followers.

Oh, if that guy I fired two years ago for "wasting too much time on the internet" could see me now...

15 December 2011 skullcat ‏@skullcat [^123.71] https://twitter.com/skullcat/status/147371117731004416 Her bio and stats on 13 January 2013, when her most recent tweet was dated 14 October 2012: Using sarcasm as a natural defense against companionship, and alcohol as artificial protection from sobriety. Mom to teen, designer to graphics. Location: Vancouver · http://favstar.fm/users/skullcat - 29,183 tweets. 6,736 following. 8,289 followers.

Tweeting is the new whistling while you work.

2 October 2012 Barry ‏@Gizmo_1984 [^123.72] https://twitter.com/Gizmo_1984/status/253041186422525952 His bio and stats on 12 December 2012: Avid movie fan & follower of all things film. Horror especially. TWD fan. Proud #Horrorsquad member. Nice guy. Occasional deep thinker. @_BOOCREW_ rocks! Location: UK. 8,746 tweets. 603 following. 545 followers.

I've nearly perfected my "pretending to look at my computer screen so you don't talk to me" face.

20 March 2012 Alec Sulkin ‏@thesulk [^123.73] https://twitter.com/#!/thesulk/status/182200498814844928 His bio and stats on 22 November 2012: Breaker of Swift Mustache Hairs. Location: Los Angeles. 6,748 tweets. 836 following. 481,460 followers.

To increase my productivity, I'm taking a short break every hour from browsing the internet to do work.

8 July 2009 Josh Hopkins @thedayhascome [^123.74] on Favrd. URL lost. His Twitter bio and stats on 10 August 2013 when his most recent tweet was dated 26 February 2013: father. husband. web designer. geek. thinker. doer. founder of http://40horse.com – Location: Indianapolis, IN · thedayhasco.me - 3,974 tweets. 465 following. 9,012 followers.

What an unproductive day at work.

Didn't even post one tweet that got retweeted.

16 August 2012 Tony Sebastian ‏@notytony [^123.75] https://twitter.com/notytony/status/236057877779992576 Bio: NITW, IIMK, TAS. (Freelance) cryptic crossword setter for Mint. Wordplay enthusiast - unadulterated adult-rated cornography served here. Location: Kochi. 12,392 tweets. 460 following. 3,268 followers.

It's like my boss thinks you guys are just gonna retweet yourselves.

23 October 2012 Parentpains ‏@Parentpains [^123.76] https://twitter.com/Parentpains/status/260800076081930240 His bio: I'm just a piece of meat around here, you're probably not even reading this. @suchadumbworld is my bro. View all my tweets at the link below. I RT a lot. Location: Toronto, Canada · http://favstar.fm/users/Parentpains - 18,308 tweets. 2,336 following. 9,988 followers.

I need a day off just to catch up on twitter.

18 May 2011 Pax Paxochka ‏@Paxochka [^123.77] https://twitter.com/#!/Paxochka/status/71023834513416192 Her bio and stats on 24 October 2012: Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch'entrate. Location: Down Under · http://paxochka.tumblr.com/explainingfavstar - 57,522 tweets. 4,796 following. 18,932 followers.

Basically my vacation itinerary is just the word "Nap" followed by different locations, e.g. "Nap at beach."

31 May 2012 Michael B Inlaoninni ‏@mikeinla09 [^123.78] https://twitter.com/mikeinla09/status/208286137373036545 In Los Angeles with 1,370 followers. His bio and stats on 16 November 2012: Equus africanus asinus. http://concerning-z.tumblr.com/ Location: Los Angeles · http://favstar.fm/users/mikeinla09/recent - 26,063 tweets. 2,096 following. 1,918 followers.

I don't mind going to work at all.

The crying doesn't start until I get there.

5 August 2011 Kay Morgan @KayM77 [^123.79] https://twitter.com/#!/KayM77/status/99625409905303552 Her bio and stats on 14 March 2013: I'm on Twitter. 18,872 tweets. 248 following. 1,615 followers.

My job is hard. If I don't move occasionally, the automatic light goes off.

1 September 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^123.80] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/241931284362977280 His bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,477 tweets. 3,154 following. 9,233 followers. Automatic lights use motion detectors to determine whether anyone is in a room.

Flicking the lights on & off, to the beat of the music at work, while police drive by is considered a distress signal, apparently.

Oops! Lol

28 August 2012 ~CINDY~ ‏@CindyMeakin [^123.81] https://twitter.com/CindyMeakin/status/240697331278807040 Location: Halifax, Canada. 9,509 tweets. 1,814 following. 2,597 followers.

I was just called a 'walking HR complaint'. Proud day for me.

16 February 2012 bee @dosesofneurosis [^123.82] https://twitter.com/#!/dosesofneurosis/status/170236587228143616 No account with this ID found on 7 April 2013.

I see HR still hasn't done anything about my nap room suggestion.

Typical.

Why do they even bother with a suggestion box?

12 October 2010 Meeting Boy ‏@MeetingBoy [^123.83] https://twitter.com/#!/MeetingBoy/status/27161335854 Twitter bio and stats on 8 August 2013: I hate my job. Location: across the conference table · meetingboy.com/posts - 6,123 tweets. 86,778 following. 148,037 followers.

You see a bottle of white-out and a sharpie. I see a clever disguise for my eyelids that allows me to take naps at my desk.

18 March 2010 Jonathan @MrBigFists [^123.84] http://twitter.com/MrBigFists/status/10678002552 His Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 8 August 2013: Jonathan Sloan @MrBigFists - Witstream contributor. Peace disturber, Public offender, Impractical joker, and all around tomfoolerer. Location: San Francisco · mrbigfists.com. 6,811 tweets. 478 following. 7,762 followers.

I'm so good at my job, I am doing it with my eyes closed.

3 May 2012 skullcat ‏ @skullcat [^123.85] https://twitter.com/#!/skullcat/status/198101964662378497 Her bio and stats on 13 January 2013, when her most recent tweet was dated 14 October 2012: Using sarcasm as a natural defense against companionship, and alcohol as artificial protection from sobriety. Mom to teen, designer to graphics. Location: Vancouver · http://favstar.fm/users/skullcat - 29,183 tweets. 6,736 following. 8,289 followers.

I'm proud of how much I pretended to do today.

3 May 2012 Gary Janetti ‏@GaryJanetti [^123.86] https://twitter.com/#!/GaryJanetti/status/198226705180143617 Twitter bio and stats on 20 June 2013: writer and person. 1,235 tweets. 313 following. 140,331 followers.

Sometimes I find it helpful to ask myself: "What would a competent person do in my situation?"

4 October 2010 Jason Mustian @jasonmustian [^123.87] https://twitter.com/#!/jasonmustian/status/26379768862 His Twitter bio and stats on 24 August 2013: Hello! Do you like some things, yet dislike other things? HI! ® - Location: New York · someecards.com. 4,535 tweets. 401 following. 20,077 followers.

How many people work in your office? About half of them

5 July 2011 Laugh Riot @Laugh_Riot [^123.88] https://twitter.com/#!/Laugh_Riot/status/88208024224800769 Twitter bio and stats on 4 August 2013: Zindagi mein haste raho, jiyo, khush raho kyunki kya pata - kal aage ke do daant ho na ho!! Parody A/c, not Cyrus! ! Location: living on the edge! – Mumbai. 32,868 tweets. 123 following. 34,913 followers.

My bare ass longs for the cold caress of a copy machine.

1 November 2011 Mary Charlene @IamEnidColeslaw [^123.89] https://twitter.com/#!/IamEnidColeslaw/status/131426054396051457 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: the Garbage Pail Kids version of Zooey Deschanel. Location: Chicago. 13,504 tweets. 4,054 following. 84,168 followers.

I need a volunteer to pluck copy machine glass shards from my bloody butt.

23 August 2011 Jocelyn @FilthyRichmond [^123.90] https://twitter.com/#!/FilthyRichmond/status/106048484788027392 Twitter bio and stats on 5 March 2013 for Jocelyn Plums @FilthyRichmond - Kiss Mommy's cold sore and make it better! #RVA http://FilthyRichmond.com Location: Richmond, VA · http://favstar.fm/users/filthyrichmond/recent - 9,914 tweets. 3,384 following. 65,783 followers.

Not challenged by your job? Try doing all your work in the last half hour of the day.

5 August 2011 Jack @HappyHourJack [^123.91] https://twitter.com/#!/HappyHourJack/status/99619852850962432 Twitter bio and stats on 2 July 2013: If someone is getting a beer for free, look in their eyes and you'll see me. Location: Seattle, WA. 1,545 tweets. 356 following. 2,383 followers.

Does this cubicle make me look dead inside?

8 July 2011 Jocelyn TestesHarder @FilthyRichmond [^123.92] https://twitter.com/#!/FilthyRichmond/status/89444656676483072 Twitter bio and stats on 5 March 2013 for Jocelyn Plums @FilthyRichmond - Kiss Mommy's cold sore and make it better! #RVA http://FilthyRichmond.com Location: Richmond, VA · http://favstar.fm/users/filthyrichmond/recent - 9,914 tweets. 3,384 following. 65,783 followers.

If I hated my job any more, it would be my father.

27 July 2011 Lauren Greenberg @LaurenGberg - https://twitter.com/#!/LaurenGberg/status/96340025435889664 Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 2 June 2013: Lauren Greenberg @LaurenGreenberg [^123.93] TV Writer. In a really good place emotionally. Location: Los Angeles · instagram.com/laurengreenberg1 - 6,710 tweets. 466 following. 14,707 followers.

I wonder if my job hates me too.

12 December 2011 farleftcoast @farleftcoast [^123.94] https://twitter.com/#!/farleftcoast/status/146278130959663104 Bio and stats on 19 December 2012: Before I get my hair cut I whisper to the stylist: If you fuck up my hair I'll burn your salon down. I love @thedailymarker so much I put a ring on his finger. Location: The Dock of the Bay · http://favstar.fm/users/farleftcoast - 43,848 tweets. 840 following. 13,578 followers.

More often than not, a paycheck is compensation for putting up with bullshit.

24 August 2011 kelly oxford @kellyoxford [^123.95] https://twitter.com/#!/kellyoxford/status/106590401225428992 Her bio and stats on 15 January 2013: Writer. Designed to make you feel like everything is going well. I am your Perestroika. Location: Los Angeles · http://kellyoxford.tumblr.com/ - 3,608 tweets. 756 following. 435,829 followers.

Nobody on their death bed wishes they would have spent more time at the office.

Except homeless people, probably.

16 April 2011 Josh Hara @yoyoha [^123.96] https://twitter.com/#!/yoyoha/status/59280204195049473 His bio and stats on 7 November 2012: I'm just a boy, standing in front of the internet, asking it to love him. Location: Columbus, Ohio · http://www.statusillustrated.com - 9,690 tweets. 668 following. 44,423 followers.

Honoring coworkers by placing flowers and crosses in the cubicles where their dreams died.

20 June 2011 This Charming Man @Ch8rming [^123.97] https://twitter.com/#!/Ch8rming/status/82828188270608385 Twitter bio and stats on 19 June 2013: After all these years, my wife still calls me charming. She just says it with more sarcasm and disdain. Location: Couch, car, or cubicle · favstar.fm/users/Ch8rming - 3,247 tweets. 1,114 following. 3,773 followers.

I want to give up, but my lowly position in society doesn't allow it.

18 January 2012 Ms. Spalanzani @rejecter [^123.98] https://twitter.com/#!/rejecter/status/159746761693474817 Her bio and stats on 19 December 2012: Commie hoochie trollop. Subterfugitive. 17,014 tweets. 267 following. 4,547 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 24 September 2013: She can read, she can read, she can read, she's bad. Location: Västerås. 19,573 tweets. 300 following. 4,400 followers.

Some days I feel like my job is so irrelevant, I might as well be working in my company's hamster-naming department.

22 June 2009 Christy Ann @crispycracka [^123.99] https://twitter.com/crispycracka/status/2280740986. Her Twitter bio and stats on 10 September 2013: I like cookies. Location: Atlanta, GA · instagram.com/crispyann - 1,140 tweets. 284 following. 3,299 followers.

A smoker at work can "step out for a smoke" every 20 minutes but if I say "I'm going to go outside and just stand there" I'm a bad employee.

16 June 2011 Buck @buck4itt [^123.100] https://twitter.com/#!/buck4itt/status/81505386586308609 His bio and stats on 5 January 2013: American Humorist in a van wearing loose fitting shorts and holding a puppy. http://favstar.fm/users/buck4itt http://buck4itt.tumblr.com/ Under 18? Go away. Location: Northern California. 4,296 tweets. 9,308 following. 15,550 followers.

A co-worker just got fired for going on to FaceBook and posting rants about the Boss and Company...Idiot! That's what Twitter is for!

3 November 2011 Jason ‏@jasonlight73 [^123.101] https://twitter.com/#!/JasonLight73/status/132148231537823744 His Twitter bio and stats on 21 May 2013: The Official Twitter Feed For me..It's Official because I said so! Location: USA-Earth-MilkyWay-Everywhere · favstar.fm/users/JasonLight - 73,299 tweets. 4,345 following. 7,162 followers.

The list of people I can't possibly use as a reference is getting quite impressive.

22 July 2009 @smilinbjones [^123.102] from Syracuse, NY on Favrd. No Twitter account found for that ID on 10 September 2013. The account appears to have stopped tweeting in 2009.

Learn from my mistakes: If your boss ever asks if you have a mortgage or if your wife is pregnant, you say 'YES'.

7 October 2011 Peter Batmaniac @Mothpete [^123.103] https://twitter.com/#!/Mothpete/status/122536013577977858 His screen name, bio and stats on 18 March 2013: The Shark Knight @Mothpete Follow me and all your wildest dreams will come true. http://favstar.fm/users/Mothpete/recent - Location: The Land Downunder · mothrust.com - 10,678 tweets. 8,532 following. 12,180 followers.

Best thing to do after getting fired is to show up a week later with a heavy duffel bag and walk around staring at people.

8 November 2011 Jocelyn Plums @FilthyRichmond [^123.104] https://twitter.com/#!/FilthyRichmond/status/134048472490979328 Twitter bio and stats on 5 March 2013 for Jocelyn Plums @FilthyRichmond - Kiss Mommy's cold sore and make it better! #RVA http://FilthyRichmond.com Location: Richmond, VA · http://favstar.fm/users/filthyrichmond/recent - 9,914 tweets. 3,384 following. 65,783 followers.

Got my performance review today. My boss sure knows a lot of synonyms for "debacle."

9 January 2012 William Ader @WilliamAder [^123.105] https://twitter.com/#!/WilliamAder/status/156517922804727809 His bio and stats on 30 October 2012: I'll be here all weak. http://favstar.fm/users/WilliamAder - 6,610 tweets. 4,007 following. 9,539 followers.

I'll be using crayons to take notes at my employee performance review, because actions speak louder than the words I'll never understand.

19 June 2009 Josh Hopkins @thedayhascome [^123.106] https://twitter.com/thedayhascome/status/2239012828. His Twitter bio and stats on 10 August 2013 when his most recent tweet was dated 26 February 2013: father. husband. web designer. geek. thinker. doer. founder of http://40horse.com – Location: Indianapolis, IN · thedayhasco.me - 3,974 tweets. 465 following. 9,012 followers.

Anybody want my stupid job? I'm going back to hustlin'.

22 July 2011 Jocelyn TestesHarder @FilthyRichmond [^123.107] https://twitter.com/#!/FilthyRichmond/status/94350796312936448 Twitter bio and stats on 5 March 2013 for Jocelyn Plums @FilthyRichmond - Kiss Mommy's cold sore and make it better! #RVA http://FilthyRichmond.com Location: Richmond, VA · http://favstar.fm/users/filthyrichmond/recent - 9,914 tweets. 3,384 following. 65,783 followers.

Whoever came up with the concept of work should be fired.

10 June 2009 Lisa Rahmat @lisarahmat [^123.108] on Twitter. URL lost. Her Twitter bio and stats on 25 February 2013: Crazy panda lady who likes looking out windows and things. Location: Singapore · lisarahmat.tumblr.com - 2,341 tweets. 255 following. 3,643 followers.

My career is basically a placeholder while I wait for someone to give me a chocolate factory.

20 March 2012 Tim Siedell ‏@badbanana [^123.109] https://twitter.com/#!/badbanana/status/182154613468827649 His bio and stats on 13 November 2012: Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire. Location: Nebraska, USA · http://about.me/timsiedell - 14,736 tweets. 270 following. 625,020 followers. Refers to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, a children's fantasy novel by Roald Dahl, published by Alfred A. Knopf, Inc. in 1964.

It's taking fucking forever to reach my arbitrary goal.

27 February 2012 nerdamage @nerdamage [^123.110] https://twitter.com/#!/nerdamage/status/174386113874624512 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 14,015 tweets. 3,128 following. 9,547 followers.

Leaving work early. Like a maverick!

8 July 2009 Stephanie ‏@CcSteff [^123.111] from Richmond, VA on Favrd. https://twitter.com/CcSteff/status/2537466944 Her Twitter bio and stats on 2 April 2013: Hey, turtleface. Want a peanut? sprattacus [at] gmail. Location: Menlo Park, CA. 3,456 tweets. 207 following. 5,762 followers.

Spoofs Sarah Palin, who labeled herself a maverick after resigning halfway through her first and only term as the governor of Alaska.

My work here is dung.

6 August 2010 Don't Tell Daddy @Hormonella [^123.112] https://twitter.com/Hormonella/status/20507666804 Her bio and stats on 10 December 2012: My body is not my temple. It's more like my bar and grill. Location: Stepford · http://favstar.fm/users/Hormonella/recent - 33,857 tweets. 17,421 following. 20,118 followers. Instead of done.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  124. Working from home, quitting, and not working

What I've learned in the past ten years:

abandoning one's dreams and ambitions is amazingly liberating.

16 March 2012 Steven Metz ‏@steven_metz [^124.1] https://twitter.com/#!/steven_metz/status/180666949733326848 His Twitter bio and stats on 5 August 2013: Security/defense analyst/author focusing on strategy and insurgency. @wpreview columnist. Libertarian/realist. INTJ. Location: USA · http://www.worldpoliticsreview.com/authors/790/steven-metz - 19,718 tweets. 892 following. 4,167 followers.

The surrender of ambition may play an embarrassingly large role in learning to be happy.

16 May 2012 Alain de Botton ‏@alaindebotton [^124.2] https://twitter.com/#!/alaindebotton/status/202870444569800705 His bio and stats on 15 January 2013: Writer; most recently of 'Religion for Atheists'. Location: London · http://tinyurl.com/chcbro9 - 555 tweets. 4,420 following. 308,786 followers.

**I'm thankful that I'm no longer striving to do things that glorify me.** # **maturity**

29 March 2014 Marcus J. Carey ‏@marcusjcarey [^124.3] https://twitter.com/marcusjcarey/status/450075084854542336 His bio: Luke 9:23, I Am Second, Not A Fan, Husband, Father, Hacker, Mentor, US Navy Veteran, xNSA, xDIA, xDARPA – Location: Round Rock, Texas · threatagent.com – 16,931 tweets. 101 following. 5,910 followers.

If I have to step on people to get somewhere, I'd rather stay right where I am.

20 July 2012 January James ‏@JanuaryJames [^124.4] https://twitter.com/januaryjames/status/226328835812102144 Her bio and stats on 8 August 2012: I'm an investigative writer/journalist. I am who I am. Take me or leave me. I'm the product of a schizophrenic writer. Location: Inside My Own Head. 23,527 tweets. 1,075 following. 2,254 followers. Her bio and stats on 8 March 2013: I'm a sympath & the product of a schizophrenic writer. Sometimes I'm funny. Joey Ramone is my love. Peter Steele is my boyfriend. @siren_sweet is my blessing. Location: In a Field of Purple Flowers · http://favstar.fm/users/JanuaryJames - 43,043 tweets. 1,962 following. 6,616 followers.

Jobs are overrated.

18 August 2011 National Lampoon @nationallampoon [^124.5] https://twitter.com/#!/nationallampoon/status/104264208530669568 Twitter bio and stats on 10 September 2013: We like to laugh, make you laugh and laugh at you. Location: Hollywood, CA · nationallampoon.com. 17,145 tweets. 4,023 following. 22,709 followers. Their most recent tweet on 10 September 2013 was dated 25 July 2013.

I really hate the idea of having to work most my life.

This isn't what life is supposed to be about.

16 April 2012 tashy baby @tashymarie [^124.6] https://twitter.com/#!/tashymarie/status/192122372998955008 No Twitter account with this ID found on 10 September 2013.

I'm pretty excited, only 10,923 more days until I can retire.

You're all invited to my retirement party...mark your calendars!

17 May 2012 Chopper ‏@chopper4jk [^124.7] https://twitter.com/#!/chopper4jk/status/203292175272902656 His bio and stats on 27 October 2012: Yeah, I really just said that...Get over it...Usually up @chrisanna4real's skirt - IG chopper4jk http://favstar.fm/users/chopper4jk Location: Hood River OR. 16,044 tweets. 19,525 following. 20,795 followers.

TOTALLY WASTED!

My life.

7 October 2011 Niki @NikiWithIssues [^124.8] https://twitter.com/#!/NikiWithIssues/status/122559850185109504 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: I'm super lazy. Which is like normal lazy but I'm also wearing a cape. Location: The Shire · http://favstar.fm/users/NikiWithIssues - 6,027 tweets. 811 following. 35,838 followers.

oh my god, today is just still happening

12 May 2013 ☠ lil helly ☠ ‏@hell_doe [^124.9] https://twitter.com/hell_doe/status/333624577865420802 Bio: who i be? that goth chick everybody like :F shop: http://www.etsy.com/shop/sayDIEd - Location: fear street · favstar.fm/users/hell_doe - 39,563 tweets. 937 following. 3,070 followers.

Close your eyes. See the weekend.

Wednesday morning, 17 April 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^124.10] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/324423286073212928 Her bio: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 15,262 tweets. 2,179 following. 2,216 followers.

My forty hours of feigning interest now comes to a fucking end.

Friday evening, 11 May 2012 Hormonella, damn it!‏ @Hormonella [^124.11] https://twitter.com/#!/Hormonella/status/201053138868908032 Her bio and stats on 10 December 2012: My body is not my temple. It's more like my bar and grill. Location: Stepford · http://favstar.fm/users/Hormonella/recent - 33,857 tweets. 17,421 following. 20,118 followers.

I'm so over this day even the bags under my eyes are packed.

Six minutes before 1 p.m. her time, Wednesday, 12 December 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^124.12] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/278815027291643904 Her bio and stats on 1 February 2013: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 12,366 tweets. 1,884 following. 1,930 followers.

Dear couch. I'M COMING HOME.

15 November 2012 Niki ‏@NikiWithIssues [^124.13] https://twitter.com/NikiWithIssues/status/269191114345566208 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: I'm super lazy. Which is like normal lazy but I'm also wearing a cape. Location: The Shire · http://favstar.fm/users/NikiWithIssues - 6,027 tweets. 811 following. 35,838 followers.

I do have a dog. It's called 5pm. Here 5pm5pm5pm5pm5pm5pm5pm whistle whistle whistle whistle here 5pm5pm5pm5pm5pm5pm.

Friday afternoon, 27 September 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^124.14] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/251325369150500864 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,223 tweets. 1,918 following. 1,773 followers.

Home O'Clock

28 January 2013 Justine Joy ‏@punkystarfish [^124.15] https://twitter.com/punkystarfish/status/296153048852606978 Her bio and stats on 10 February 2013: I tweet it up like Tweety bird | Social Media Gal @Talooma | Digital Diva | Zimbabwean | Taller than you | Loves Pandas | Favourite time is 12:34 | Runner. Location: I swam here from Zimbabwe · http://www.justinejoyit.co.za - 13,665 tweets. 537 following. 1,241 followers.

Facebook COO leaves office at 5:30 --and works at home.

What's the big deal?

Shouldn't we all?

28 April 2012 Jeremiah Owyang @jowyang [^124.16] https://twitter.com/#!/jowyang/status/196411703125225472 His bio and stats on 18 November 2012: Industry Analyst, Partner at Altimeter Group. Some tweets publish on timer. How I use Twitter http://bit.ly/LK0i - Location: Silicon Valley, CA · http://web-strategist.com/blog - 36,460 tweets. 13,132 following. 115,905 followers. Bio and stats on 27 April 2015: Founder of http://CrowdCompanies.com @CrowdCompanies, and housemate to @goodboyrumba – Location: Silicon Valley, CA - web-strategist.com/blog - 57,709 tweets. 18,513 following. 161,010 followers.

Reply:

@jowyang **she leaves cause there's a bunch of subordinates working madly, right? Tell me everyone leaves at 5:30 there. And it will be big**

28 April 2012 Thiane Loureiro ‏@Thiane [^124.17] https://twitter.com/#!/Thiane/status/196413893797625856 Her Twitter bio and stats on 10 September 2013: São Paulo. 5,933 tweets. 708 following. 1,352 followers. On 10 September 2013 her most recent tweet was dated 16 June 2013, excluding paper.li spambot tweets.

Another reply:

@jowyang **Because she is a woman and a mother. For a man, not a big deal.**

28 April 2012 Kathleen Schmidt ‏@Bookgirl96 [^124.18] https://twitter.com/#!/Bookgirl96/status/196411993886953472 Her Twitter bio and stats on 10 September 2013: A bookish broad, unpredictable tweeter, mother of two, lover of sports, reader of books. Publicity Director for Weinstein Books. Opinions are my own. Location: NYC and thereabout. 130,112 tweets. 1,791 following. 12,075 followers.

Its amazing how much more productive I get after 4:30 PM. Once the 9-5ers leave, the real work gets done.

5:06 p.m. EST Thursday, 27 February 2014 Dalton ‏@Dalton_NC [^124.19] https://twitter.com/Dalton_NC/status/439159676526428160 Bio: Grew up in the Ozarks, Adj. Asst Professor of Emergency Med @ UNC, ATU Alumni. Crisis Management, Information Dominance, bourbon and college sports. Location: Chapel Hill, NC. 1,394 tweets. 203 following. 225 followers.

• • • • •

What can happen to us if we work too much?

I don't have time to be who I want to be.

23 July 2011 kdn @kdn13 [^124.20] https://twitter.com/#!/kdn13/status/94942659109584896 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: I have a weakness for split infinitives. Location: Bay Area, CA. 4,724 tweets. 247 following. 19,916 followers.

Take your time.

Everyone else is.

22 October 2012 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^124.21] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/260279988866138112

Bio: i was born 'n stuff. Location: Hanging out in my garage. http://favstar.fm/users/RobotThomas - 31,284 tweets. 5,547 following. 5,169 followers.

Did I break up with ambition or did it break up with me?

20 September 2010 kdn @kdn13 [^124.22] https://twitter.com/#!/kdn13/status/25076690540 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: I have a weakness for split infinitives. Location: Bay Area, CA. 4,724 tweets. 247 following. 19,916 followers.

In most of our human relationships, we spend much of our time reassuring one another that our costumes of identity are on straight.

3 October 2013 Ram Dass ‏@BabaRamDass [^124.23] https://twitter.com/BabaRamDass/status/385938729438699520 Bio and stats on 23 December 2013: Author of the best selling book Be Here Now, Ram Dass (aka Richard Alpert) continues to inspire through his work & foundation, Love Serve Remember. Location: Maui, Hawaii · ramdass.org - 2,158 tweets. 58 following. 74,986 followers.

When we forget who we are we become the thing we hate.

29 August 2012 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^124.24] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/241061026219560960 His bio and stats on 13 November 2012: i was born 'n stuff. Location: Hanging out in my garage. http://favstar.fm/users/RobotThomas - 33,147 tweets. 6,053 following. 5,597 followers.

Your carefully crafted facade could use some ironing.

5 April 2014 Julie Baby ‏@inScytheful [^124.25] https://twitter.com/inScytheful/status/452562852578983937 Bio: ....Paris, and the medicine, and the King. Location: nucleus accumbens. http://science.nasa.gov/astrophysics/focus-areas/what-is-dark-energy/ \- 11,047 tweets. 763 following. 1,844 followers.

"WHAT IS YOUR NEW IDEOLOGY?" asks the man who gets paid to ask people who all look and act the same why they might be slightly different.

25 October 2013 Jeb Lundead ‏@Mobute [^124.26] https://twitter.com/Mobute/status/393680627725135872 Twitter bio and stats on 27 October 2013: Former politics blogger at Gawker. Guest at The Awl, The Classical, Deadspin, Esquire, GQ, SBNation, Sports on Earth, TNR and Vice. Registered sexhaver. Location: Gstaad · mrdestructo.com. 43,336 tweets. 735 following. 17,967 followers.

I think Voltaire said it best but this isn't his account.

17 October 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^124.27] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/258640968968986624 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 14,015 tweets. 3,128 following. 9,547 followers.

Our wretched species is so made that those who walk on the welltrodden path always throw stones at those who are showing a new road

-Voltaire

23 April 2012 Ethar El-Katatney ‏@etharkamal [^124.28] https://twitter.com/#!/etharkamal/status/194592306278563843 Her bio and stats on 29 November 2012: Cynical, international-award-winning journalist. MA, MBA. Apathetic bookworm. Sarcastic author. Jaded but still slightly quixotic Ibn Battuta Wannabe. Location: Cairo, Egypt. · http://etharelkatatney.wordpress.com/ - 22,077 tweets. 1,310 following. 37,693 followers.

I don't want to run away.

I want to wander off.

22 October 2012 Amanda Awesomeness ‏@ExcuseMeMandi [^124.29] https://twitter.com/ExcuseMeMandi/status/260427329262727168 Location: Mandiland,USA · http://favstar.fm/users/ExcuseMeMandi Stats on 27 October 2012: 14,565 tweets. 2,235 following. 3,192 followers.

My dream job is to not have a job.

13 March 2012 Connor ‏@Condre3000 [^124.30] https://twitter.com/#!/Condre3000/status/179589935320408065 Twitter screen name and stats (no bio) on 10 September 2013: Conor Donaho @Condre3000 - 898 tweets. 209 following. 94 followers. On 10 September 2013 this tweet was found to have been deleted.

If money can't buy happiness then why am I going to work

15 November 2011 Rez ‏@ragazzel [^124.31] https://twitter.com/ragazzel/status/136697886237933569 Her bio and stats on 29 April 2013: A happy monkey stuck in a human suit, raised by the sea. Location: Egypt. 1,870 tweets. 404 following. 1,081 followers.

Why are you wearing that stupid Man suit?

20 April 2014 hey Bosh ‏@TheBosha [^124.32] https://twitter.com/TheBosha/status/457927163409620992 Bio and stats on 21 April 2014: http://thebosha.tumblr.com/ · witstream.com/#jim_bosha - 18,299 tweets. 531 following. 12,578 followers.

I'm beginning to believe that this whole waking up, going to work & being a responsible adult is nothing but an elaborate ponzi scheme.

26 July 2012 ☠Dead Soul Walking☠ ‏@That_Damn_Duck [^124.33] https://twitter.com/That_Damn_Duck/status/228446000082194433 His bio and stats on 7 November 2012: A horrible person who's an Êv¡£ Genius & sarcasm specialist. AudioBoo & Instagram same name Blocked by @snooki @ItalianBratikus is rents this space. Location: Lake Murray, South Carolina · http://favstar.fm/users/That_Damn_Duck/recent - 3,496 tweets. 993 following. 9,371 followers.

It's so hard to balance it all - work, family, not caring.

16 February 2011 Julius Sharpe @juliussharpe [^124.34] https://twitter.com/#!/juliussharpe/status/37944311911956480 His bio and stats on 4 December 2012: Writer for Family Guy on FOX. Frequent bathrobe wearer. Location: Los Angeles, CA. 4,196 tweets. 509 following. 102,262 followers.

You mean nothing to the shitty company you work for.

18 August 2012 Aisha Ghaly ‏@aishaghaly [^124.35] https://twitter.com/aishaghaly/status/236761630497722368 Stats on 28 September 2012: 1,669 tweets. 92 following. 168 followers. Her bio and stats on 31 March 2014: Cairo, Egypt. 2,484 tweets. 123 following. 206 followers.

Privilege is being judged for who you are instead of what you do.

Careerism is reshaping what you do into who you are, and losing yourself.

16 November 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^124.36] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/401880074112102400 Bio: Writer on politics, economy, media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com - 14,115 tweets. 975 following. 13,273 followers.

Corporates pay u good money

You get used to that money

You lose your drive to do anything creative

You become a corporate slave

And a loser

29 April 2014 The Bad Doctor ‏@doctoratlarge [^124.37] https://twitter.com/doctoratlarge/status/461120189547831297 Bio and stats on 2 May 2014: When you're good, people love you. When you're bad, you love yourself. doctoratlarge.wordpress.com. 55,632 tweets. 357 following. 39,696 followers.

Corporates = large corporations.

If you ever get to a place in your life where you think having a lot of money is more important than people, YOU ARE A GIANT FUCKING TOOL.

4 October 2011 PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz - https://twitter.com/#!/llvvzz/status/121297468502708225 Her bio and stats on 20 December 2012: I am not your perception of me. I control your perception of me. http://facebook.com/llvvzzz @llvvzzz for #FF Check out Tweet~Mates! at http://llvvzz.com - I Own A Chihuahua · http://favstar.fm/users/llvvzz - 1,985 tweets. 83,157 following. 83,737 followers. Indexed under her alternate ID: @lvvzz [^124.38].

"People motivated by money can be distinguished between those who are incentivized by it because it is the only quantifiable form of recognition that they recognize, versus those who need money in order to survive."

Source: Francis, interviewed for this chapter on 16 August 2014. He asked that only his first name be used.

I want one of those "no show" jobs, like oil rig inspector or fact checker for the Glenn Beck Program.

5 June 2010 The Bosha ‏@TheBosha [^124.39] https://twitter.com/#!/TheBosha/status/15498850001 His bio and stats on 16 November 2012: Get off my lawn. Location: Near the Tannhäuser Gate · http://www.witstream.com/#jim_bosha - 13,149 tweets. 476 following. 11,858 followers.

There needs to be a Scared Straight program for teens that want to work for corporate America.

11 January 2012 Aces @AcesEveryTime [^124.40] https://twitter.com/#!/AcesEveryTime/status/157302451668656128 She had 2,537 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 20 June 2013: Oh, like you give a shit. Location: The Recesses of Your Mind - 1,979 tweets. 728 following. 2,284 followers.

Trying to convince the people in my office that dreams don't come true and more people should give up on their dreams.

9 April 2013 Natalie Roos ‏@NatalieRoos [^124.41] https://twitter.com/NatalieRoos/status/321626196548927488 Her bio and stats on 15 April 2013: CATS! Avid amateur swimmer. Wine obsessive. Keen on oysters. Afraid of the colour orange. Dedicated eater-outer. http://www.instagram.com/tailsofamermaid - Location: Cape Town · tailsofamermaid.com - 16,361 tweets. 951 following. 5,587 followers. She tweeted about being 24 at the time.

A month earlier, she had tweeted about working on an outbound voice project in a room with two men making cold calls to a list of 2000 telephone numbers.

My body maybe be at this desk, by my mind is in a chain gang in 1930's Georgia, singing negro spirituals as we dig ditches by the roadside

31 May 2013 Josh De Kock ‏@JoshDKock [^124.42] https://twitter.com/JoshDKock/status/340449787507798017 Bio: Make me a bicycle, clown. 725 tweets. 437 following. 311 followers. In South Africa.

Modern workplaces have been compared to Southern plantations in the United States before the Civil War. This glosses over the horrors of slavery. Aspects of antebellum life, such as convicts chained together for outdoor work, persisted long after Reconstruction ended. Georgia has a history of imposing long prison sentences for misdemeanors, which gives the state a large pool of cheap labor. In a chain gang, each inmate wears a shackle on one leg. The shackles are connected by a chain.

Follow your bliss. It will look like a glum man in a cheap suit carrying a sheaf of papers and muttering. Wear disguises and don't be seen

23 May 2013 Night Vale podcast ‏@NightValeRadio [^124.43] https://twitter.com/NightValeRadio/status/337627756777046018 Bio: WELCOME TO NIGHT VALE podcast: community radio for a small desert town. Turn on your radio & hide. New episodes every 1st & 15th. nightvale@commonplacebooks.com - Night Vale, USA · commonplacebooks.com/p/blog-page.html - 3,488 tweets. 327 following. 6,863 followers.

In a room full of crazy people, you are the crazy one.

26 July 2012 Cloudypiano ‏@cloudcm [^124.44] https://twitter.com/cloudcm/status/228623543804502016 Bio: we must look for consistency; where there is want of it we must suspect twitter... Location: San Francisco, CA. 1,126 tweets. 1,243 following. 1,042 followers. The account's profile photo showed a woman sleeping, as if on vacation. Twitter bio and stats on 17 July 2013: we must look for consistency; where there is want of it we must suspect twitter... Location: san rafael, ca · cloudyblueyes.tumblr.com - 6,461 tweets. 638 following. 2,938 followers.

I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself, unless I want to stay employed.

4 February 2011 D. Parker @Lavender_lady - https://twitter.com/#!/Lavender_lady/status/33678816203243522 Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 10 September 2013: Lavender @Lavenderpants [^124.45] Just sittin' in the bushes, reading your tweets. Hoping to be allowed back in the house one day. Location: Ontario Canada · http://favstar.fm/users/Lavender_lady - 3,705 tweets. 410 following. 1,459 followers.

**Le** ' **ts get out of here.**

15 April 2013 Natalie Roos ‏@NatalieRoos [^124.46] https://twitter.com/NatalieRoos/status/323714932342403072 Her bio: CATS! Avid amateur swimmer. Wine obsessive. Keen on oysters. Afraid of the colour orange. Dedicated eater-outer. http://www.instagram.com/tailsofamermaid - Location: Cape Town · tailsofamermaid.com - 16,361 tweets. 951 following. 5,587 followers.

a cool thing to do if you work retail is quit

26 November 2011 Amber Eeeeeee @rare_basement [^124.47] https://twitter.com/#!/rare_basement/status/140507908709433344 Her bio and stats on 12 January 2013: creator of NOTHING, writer at NOWHERE. Location: New Orleans · http://favstar.fm/users/rare_basement - 59,473 tweets. 2,529 following. 26,187 followers.

I'm in this for the short run.

17 May 2012 Tess Barker ‏@TesstifyBarker [^124.48] https://twitter.com/#!/TesstifyBarker/status/203287470949937152 Her bio and stats on 10 September 2013: Stand up comic with good taste in bad ideas. tessbarker.com. 4,930 tweets. 460 following. 3,803 followers.

I carry around a briefcase only to dramatically pick it up, say "We're done here" and storm out.

12 March 2012 Bagyants ‏@Bagyants [^124.49] https://twitter.com/Bagyants/status/179394130936467457 His bio and stats on 23 November 2012: Some people grunt at the gym; I scream at the top of my lungs THEY KILLED MY FAMILY as I lift weights. Location: Kansas · http://favstar.fm/users/Bagyants - 486 tweets. 232 following. 6,086 followers.

There's a high probability that the tweet which will eventually get me fired is already in my drafts folder.

12 July 2011 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^124.50] https://twitter.com/#!/Schmoodles/status/91012344125210624 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

I'm leaving CNN to spend more time with my sources.

Unrelated: so lonely.

So very, very lonely.

17 April 2013 Uncle Dynamite ‏@UncleDynamite [^124.51] https://twitter.com/UncleDynamite/status/324634553266368512 His bio: Twitterer emeritus. Location: Hobart, Tasmania · http://uncledynamite.tumblr.com - 14,433 tweets. 885 following. 22,458 followers.

When I quit my job I'm going to barge into my boss's office, slam my gun and badge on his desk, and storm out of this Arby's forever.

15 October 2010 derekasaurus @derekasaurus [^124.52] https://twitter.com/#!/derekasaurus/status/27458344182 Bio and stats on 21 February 2013: Your capricious attention makes me feel less dead inside. Location: NYC, but not in a douchey way. · http://favstar.fm/users/derekasaurus/recent - 2,210 tweets. 265 following. 3,701 followers.

I'm going to quit my job and travel the world. Since I won't have any money, I'm going to need to sleep on your couch. Hope you don't mind.

2 August 2012 Your Sweet Lesli ‏@leslid79 [^124.53] https://twitter.com/leslid79/status/231101870649786368 Her bio and stats the next day: Random. Gummy Bears. Happy. Peanut Butter M&M's. I drink whiskey with @ryan9billion. Location: KY (the state, not the jelly) · http://favstar.fm/users/leslid79/recent - 17,721 tweets. 2,647 following. 5,547 followers.

Tried quitting my job today. But they just laughed and threw me back in my cell.

23 April 2012 Lone_Star ‏ @Carter_TCB [^124.54] https://twitter.com/#!/Carter_TCB/status/194596755386531841 His bio and stats on 26 January 2013: Slacker. http://favstar.fm/users/Carter_TCB - 15,771 tweets. 6,547 following. 7,137 followers.

Boss: Call me later?

Me: Ok, you're Later

Him: I'm Serious

Me: Make up your mind, Serious

Him: You're fired

Me: Now you're changing MY name?

23 May 2012 Aristotles ‏@AristotlesNZ [^124.55] https://twitter.com/aristotlesnz/status/205487605696040960

His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: My avi is one of 3 reasons why I live and why I drink. Father of 3 little boys. Husband of 1 Wife. Location: Under the Down Under · http://favstar.fm/users/AristotlesNZ/recent - 13,213 tweets. 2,378 following. 11,033 followers.

" **Antiauthoritarians don't succeed in large corporations. They get expelled by them.** " **\--Glenn Greenwald**

1 January 2014 Brian Stelter ‏@brianstelter [^124.56] https://twitter.com/brianstelter/status/418535026289287168 Bio and stats of Brian Stelter ‏@brianstelter on 3 January 2013: CNN's senior media correspondent and host of @CNNReliable. Former @nytimes reporter. Wrote the NYT bestseller Top of the Morning. Email: bstelter@gmail.com – Location: New York City · brianstelter.com - 52,314 tweets. 3,358 following. 213,586 followers.

Glenn Greenwald @ggreenwald [^124.57] Twitter bio and stats on 3 January 2014: Journalist - author, With Liberty & Justice for Some- dog/animal fanatic - email/PGP public key (http://utdocuments.blogspot.com.br/2013/11/email-glenn.html...) - 42,416 tweets. 891 following. 318,574 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 20 May 2014: Journalist with @The_Intercept - author, With Liberty & Justice for Some - dog/animal fanatic - email/PGP public key (https://firstlook.org/theintercept/staff/glenn-greenwald/ ) theintercept.com – 45,430 tweets. 921 following. 355,098 followers.

I need to stop letting people's dads tell me what to do.

19 July 2012 David Liebe Hart ‏@david_liebehart [^124.58] https://twitter.com/david_liebehart/status/225745070597476353 His Twitter bio and stats on 10 September 2013: I'm a puppeteer and artist who you know from Tim and Eric. I also do music with my band. Location: Los Angeles · liebehart.com. 1,009 tweets. 286 following. 10,771 followers.

you cant spell work without i want to stab myself.

27 November 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^124.59] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/405660701621878785 Her bio and stats on 5 December 2013: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · pelsjas.wordpress.com - 21,057 tweets. 2,728 following. 2,969 followers.

there is no such thing as work-life balance

6 January 2014 NYT Minus Context ‏@NYTMinusContext [^124.60] https://twitter.com/NYTMinusContext/status/420256234697412608 Bio and stats on 17 January 2014: All Tweets Verbatim From New York Times Content. Not Affiliated with New York Times. Follow @NYTPlusContext for context. NYTMinusContext@gmail.com - 1,244 tweets. 911 following. 10.854 followers.

The New York Times @nytimes [^124.61] Twitter bio and stats on 17 January 2014: Where the conversation begins. Follow for breaking news, special reports, http://NYTimes.com homepage links and RTs of our journalists. Location: New York City · nytimes.com -124,082 tweets. 854 following. 10,681,262 followers.

Is there anything more tiring than a day at the beach? Ok, maybe tarring a roof, or rowing a slave ship. Working. WHATEVER!

7 July 2010 Not Betty @BettyLies [^124.62] https://twitter.com/BettyLies/status/17994689478 Her bio and stats on 17 January 2013: Welcome to my period tracker! Visit me on WitStream - http://www.witstream.com/#susan_grober – Location: Guelph, Ontario · http://BettyLies.tumblr.com - 3,938 tweets. 757 following. 9,755 followers.

I think I'm sick tomorrow.

18 July 2011 Crazy Girl @1knotwhole [^124.63] https://twitter.com/#!/1knotwhole/status/92986550748585984 Her bio and stats on 16 December 2012: I Started out Collecting Sticks, Now I'm Into Stones I Could tell you Things about your Anatomy maybe You've Never Really Known. Location: InSideMyMind. 15,536 tweets. 1,845 following. 6,057 followers. Her @username begins with the number one.

I was gonna call in sick today, but I'm not feeling well.

29 May 2013 Fuzzy LePimp ‏@FuzzyPimple [^124.64] https://twitter.com/FuzzyPimple/status/339949876790050817 His bio and stats on 2 June 2013: I used to have a pimple, now I don't. Location: Under The Westgate. Melbourne. 32,015 tweets. 664 following. 10,357 followers.

*stays home from work*

*takes selfies all day w/ cat*

*chuckles to self* boss thinks im at granmas funeral doesnt he mrpussykins yes he does

14 March 2013 Saber-Squirrel ‏@sabre_squirrel [^124.65] https://twitter.com/sabre_squirrel/status/312429242887581696 Bio and stats on 17 March 2013: Church of Squirrelology™ - favstar.fm/users/sabre_squirrel - 1,104 tweets. 72 following. 339 followers.

I'll take tomorrow off for $200 Alex.

12 July 2012 Kim ‏@Kimpulses [^124.66] https://twitter.com/Kimpulses/status/223615154493992961 Her bio and stats on 5 December 2012: I'm not a doctor, but I think there's something wrong with you. Location: Ontario, Canada · http://favstar.fm/users/Kimpulses - 6,991 tweets. 409 following. 5,621 followers.

Hibernate mode!

1 September 2012 Andaleeb ‏@AndaleebRizvi [^124.67] https://twitter.com/AndaleebRizvi/status/241894861278687232 Her bio and stats on 22 October 2012: I am all that I write or say or draw or make. And still none of it. A gypsy I am and will remain. Make of it what you want. I still haven't decided. http://andaleeb-rizvi.blogspot.com/ 3,364 tweets. 106 following. 247 followers.

My commute this morning was simply dreadful.

I had to flip off both cats while maneuvering my way to the living room.

9 November 2010 Nikki @NakedNikki - https://twitter.com/#!/NakedNikki/status/1975447013302274 Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 9 September 2013: Stephanie McMaster ‏@Smethanie [^124.68] Twice divorced workaholic writer nerd with two kids, two cats and a live-in born-again Christian mother. Mad trill. Location: White Picket Fence-ville, CT · smethanie.com. 4,544 tweets. 584 following. 33,232 followers.

Just bumped into the couch and apologized to it.

29 January 2012 Nasrin @NazMraz [^124.69] https://twitter.com/#!/NazMraz/status/163739670646235136 Her bio and stats on 17 December 2012; based on a true story. Location: look up and to the right. · http://favstar.fm/users/NazMraz - 16,510 tweets. 812 following. 2,633 followers.

I'm (not) working from home today.

9 September 2011 Friday. Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^124.70] https://twitter.com/#!/Schmoodles/status/112073960568532992 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

Working from home feels a lot like playing video games in my pyjamas.

17 July 2013 Tiffany @Tiffannia [^124.71] https://twitter.com/Tiffannia/status/357611596924719104 Twitter bio and stats on 21 July 2013: I have no idea what I'm talking about. 481 tweets. 391 following. 1,165 followers.

There's no "I" in work.

18 October 2012 Bacon Ball ‏@Bacon_Ball [^124.72] https://twitter.com/Bacon_Ball/status/259057407362232321

Bio and stats the next day: 've been ignored by better. Location: The Netherlands http://favstar.fm/users/Bacon_Ball/recent - 14,230 tweets. 1,066 following. 3,376 followers.

Do nothing until you hear from me.

16 September 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^124.73] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/247314932700434432 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,223 tweets. 1,918 following. 1,773 followers.

My dream job is to be a stay-at-home dad.

Minus the dad part.

5 May 2011 Jeff @sweet_toofsweet_toof [^124.74] https://twitter.com/#!/sweet_toof/status/66205250855514112 His bio and stats on 10 November 2012: heartfelt follows only pls. 2,297 tweets. 443 following. 9,215 followers.

Unemployment is rough on the ego, so focus all your energy every day on finding super flattering sweatpants.

1 September 2011 Kristy Grant ‏@kristygee [^124.75] https://twitter.com/kristygee/status/109406770220376064 Her bio and stats on 13 March 2013: Writer for Anger Management. I'm shy! (giggles & runs behind curtain to hide; falls out window to death). Location: Los Angeles · http://vimeo.com/13219328 \- 1,442 tweets. 373 following. 23,523 followers.

WTF, gardeners; you think you can just mow yards in the MIDDLE OF THE DAY?! Some of us don't have jobs and are trying to sleep!!

10 August 2012 Tori ‏@TBCpierce - https://twitter.com/TBCpierce/status/233965356975263744 Her bio and stats on 20 August 2012: So the island was purgatory? Location: Texas. 134 tweets. 95 following. 148 followers. Island may refer to Gilligan's Island, an American TV sitcom that originally aired for three seasons on the CBS network from 26 September 1964 to 4 September 1967. Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 10 March 2013: Tori @toriTBC [^124.76] So the island was purgatory? favstar.fm/users/toriTBC - 360 tweets. 167 following. 1,516 followers.

I thought maybe it was the end of the world, but they're saying that's just what the sky looks like before noon.

10 August 2013 probably sleeping ‏@JustTashie [^124.77] https://twitter.com/JustTashie/status/366124766651875328 Her Twitter bio and stats on 11 August 2013: There is no rhyme or reason to this. Well, sometimes rhyme, but rarely reason. Mostly lots of coffee. Also @a_bizarre_story - http://favstar.fm/users/JustTashie/recent - 28,754 tweets. 1,750 following. 5,225 followers.

it's weird how the world doesn't stop for me when i'm napping

24 August 2012 Sputnik Sweetheart ‏@Verlieren [^124.78] https://twitter.com/Verlieren/status/239180786580996096 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: Creator of Google, previously psychotic person. Not to make you fall in love with me but I probably don't have AIDS. http://tinyurl.com/verinstagram - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001856/ - 11,012 tweets. 548 following. 14,712 followers.

Livin' La Vida Sofa!

18 March 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^124.79] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/313558457284456448 Her bio and stats on 19 March 2013: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 13,935 tweets. 2,039 following. 2,078 followers.

The song "Living the Vida Loca" was a hit for the singer Ricky Martin, who released it in 1999 in his second eponymous album and as a single, both on the Columbia Records label. The song was written by Luis Gómez Escolar, Desmond Child and Draco Rosa. La vida loca = the crazy life, in Spanish.

The best part of the morning? 5 p.m.

1 March 2010 tenacious d. @debihope [^124.80] http://twitter.com/debihope/status/9822533385 Her bio and stats on 18 November 2012: Just another cute and sexy genius. Location: Closer than you think · http://debshock.tumblr.com - 19,104 tweets. 840 following. 3,896 followers.

If by morning person you mean after five in the afternoon, then sure I'm a morning person.

16 February 2014 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^124.81] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/435322526751666176 Bio and stats on 17 February 2014: i was born 'n stuff. Location: Hanging out in my garage. · http://favstar.fm/users/RobotThomas - 60,288 tweets. 8,696 following. 8,378 followers.

Daysleepers are generally among the more evolved members of the human species. Early humans rose with the sun to gather food. Rob Thomas is a night tweeter.

Putting my thinking slippers on.

8 January 2012 Cloudypiano @cloudcm [^124.82] https://twitter.com/cloudcm/status/155922164296581120 Twitter bio and stats on 26 July 2012: we must look for consistency; where there is want of it we must suspect twitter... Location: San Francisco, CA. 1,126 tweets. 1,243 following. 1,042 followers. Profile photo shows a woman sleeping, as if on vacation. Twitter bio and stats on 17 July 2013: we must look for consistency; where there is want of it we must suspect twitter... Location: san rafael, ca · cloudyblueyes.tumblr.com - 6,461 tweets. 638 following. 2,938 followers.

I have an amazing job ~

1. no pay

2. non-stop gossip

3. 'friends' leave

4. my ideas - plagiarized

5. no sex

Wait a minute, that's Twitter

30 June 2011 PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz - https://twitter.com/#!/llvvzz/status/86326604552343552 Her bio and stats on 20 December 2012: I am not your perception of me. I control your perception of me. http://facebook.com/llvvzzz @llvvzzz for #FF Check out Tweet~Mates! at http://llvvzz.com - I Own A Chihuahua · http://favstar.fm/users/llvvzz - 1,985 tweets. 83,157 following. 83,737 followers. Indexed under her alternate ID: @lvvzz [^124.83].

I'm not unemployed.

I'm an artist.

27 August 2012 Dean ‏@daplusk - https://twitter.com/daplusk/status/240001023295516672 His screen name, ID, bio and stats on 15 March 2013: Dean @DeanOkay [^124.84] Writes on the internet. Blinks in code. Contributor for @TheFakeCNN also post a weekly tweet list at http://theimpersonals.com/author/dean-okay/ - Location: Sydney · favstar.fm/users/DeanOkay - 1,247 tweets. 602 following. 7,429 followers.

I just changed my employment status to "it's complicated"

9 July 2012 Paul Revere ‏@PaulRevere1986 [^124.85] https://twitter.com/paulrevere1986/status/222285526185672705 Bio: Now Here's a little story I got to tell. 20,463 tweets. 9,389 following. 9,648 followers.

Calling yourself a 'Social Media Expert' does not count as employment.

22 April 2012 Junkyardigan ‏@junkyardigan [^124.86] https://twitter.com/#!/junkyardigan/status/194261356017500161 His bio and stats on 13 November 2012: I'm just a guy. Not that guy. The other guy. Over there. In the back. Hi. 3,345 tweets. 1,719 following. 2,233 followers.

Sunday draws to a close. But as the Dowager Countess says, "What is a weekend?"

17 March 2013 Alex van Tonder ‏@CapeTown_Girl [^124.87] https://twitter.com/CapeTown_Girl/status/313303358830178304 Her bio and stats on 18 March 2013: Writer living under a rock called Table Mountain. Wordy stuff http://capetowngirl.co.za for the day to day hit the .com Location: CT · capetowngirl.com - 20,788 tweets. 679 following. 12,659 followers.

There hasn't been a day this week where I knew what day it was.

Going to have to get a job.

Friday, 27 September 2012 McGoober ‏@LaBambaMcDoodle - https://twitter.com/LaBambaMcDoodle/status/251300502036418560 On 2 September 2013 her account was found to have been set to private, with this new Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats: doodle @Gooberforce [^124.88] I like taking long walks on the beach and poking dead things with a stick. 4,626 tweets. 735 following. 874 followers.

Imagine salaries.

12 April 2012 Khamba ‏@gkhamba [^124.89] https://twitter.com/#!/gkhamba/status/190376743566180353 Inspired by the news of Imagine TV shutting down. His bio: Mildly funny stand up comic and freelance writer consistently undervalued by corporate hacks. Mumbai / New Delhi. 21,186 followers.

Earn Big $$$!

Work from HOME!

SELL your ORGANS!

23 February 2011 donni @donni [^124.90] https://twitter.com/#!/donni/status/40553859185123329

His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Comedy sand wedge. Writer, performer, fledgling opener, packet submitter. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Sea cows probably never see cows. Location: Chicago City Of Wind · http://qr.net/donni - 9,640 tweets. 839 following. 25,773 followers.

Everyone has his price.

I'm on the clearance rack.

15 October 2012 FScottUnFitzgerald ‏@UnFitz [^124.91] https://twitter.com/UnFitz/status/257780285448540160 Bio: hazard. Location: The bottom of the barrel · http://favstar.fm/users/UnFitz/ - 13,320 tweets. 1,983 following. 3,573 followers.

I love hearing "Where are you based?" As if I'm locating my global HQ and not which city contains my bedroom with the paper Ikea furniture.

28 December 2008 nick (Nick Douglas) from on high on Favrd. https://twitter.com/toomuchnick/status/1081819812 Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 2 April 2013: Nick Douglas @toomuchnick [^124.92] Editor of http://Slacktory.com – Location: New York, NY · http://toomuchnick.com - 11,619 tweets. 2,282 following. 12,415 followers. His Twitter bio and stats on 10 September 2013: Editor of http://slacktory.com . Don't look at my Favstar, it's full of old shame. Location: New York, NY · toomuchnick.com. 14,177 tweets. 2,644 following. 12,648 followers.

Might take a roller coaster to work (I'm self-employed)

27 March 2013 donni ‏@donni [^124.93] https://twitter.com/donni/status/316911803596689408 His bio and stats on 31 March 2013: Donni Saphire is my government name. At every open mic. Pitching monologue jokes. Writing a thing. More at TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com ) Still not a cop. Location: Chicago city limits · favstar.fm/users/donni/recent - 9,994 tweets. 897 following. 28,810 followers.

**Signs you work from home: Writing the word "shower" on your to-do list.** # **guilty**

12 December 2012 Brooke Jarvis ‏@brookejarvis [^124.94] https://twitter.com/brookejarvis/status/279007683032539136 Her bio: Freelance journalist (Atlantic, Grist, Sierra...), editor/consultant (Planetary), contributing ed (YES! Magazine). Currently of the Puget Sound. Location: Seattle, WA · http://brookejarvis.info - 10,901 tweets. 1,489 following. 5,026 followers.

"It's in my office. Yeah I'm in my office. Have you seen my office? Office." - people with offices

31 August 2011 Artur Bagyants @Bagyants [^124.95] https://twitter.com/#!/Bagyants/status/109008572171554816 His bio and stats on 23 November 2012: Some people grunt at the gym; I scream at the top of my lungs THEY KILLED MY FAMILY as I lift weights. Location: Kansas · http://favstar.fm/users/Bagyants - 486 tweets. 232 following. 6,086 followers.

I think 'working from an office' in 20 years time will feel as cruel & backward as 'working in a coal mine' does now

29 November 2012 Ben Cousins ‏@BenjaminCousins [^124.96] https://twitter.com/BenjaminCousins/status/274100866963869696 His bio and stats on 5 December 2012: Person most responsible for ngmoco Sweden. Heavy consumer of Karl Fazer chocolate. Location: Stockholm · http://www.bencousins.com - 6,821 tweets. 260 following. 3,660 followers.

I love being a freelancer. Getting laid off = one of the best things that ever happened to me.

9 May 2013 Greg Walter ‏@2TallGreg [^124.97] https://twitter.com/2TallGreg/status/332585702581751808 His Twitter bio and stats on 12 May 2013: Animator, Illustrator, Visual Storyteller at 2Tall Studio – Location: Columbus, OH area · 2TallStudio.com/animation - 125 tweets. 119 following. 42 followers. His profile photo showed him with a smiling child sitting on his lap.

freelancers are the new hipsters...

21 March 2012 Jess Spherics ‏@JessSmellsLike [^124.98] https://twitter.com/JessSmellsLike/status/182694741018812416 Her Twitter bio and stats on 10 September 2013; Entrepreneur, traveler, inspired and unique. You have my full attention... Location: Presently Engaged. 230 tweets. 3,055 following. 7,378 followers. On 10 September 2013 her most recent tweet was dated 10 April 2013.

In the knowledge economy, many workers function as independent contractors, using coffee shops as their offices. Unlike previous café cultures, coffee shops in the new economy can be conversational wastelands, where everyone sits glued to their screens for hours on end. The ones who sit there the longest are called campers.

Amazing overheard in Starbucks: Woman "This CD has looped three times."

Barista "Maybe you should work from a real office then?"

28 September 2012 Poppy Dinsey ‏@PoppyD [^124.99] https://twitter.com/PoppyD/status/251675874112442370 Her bio and stats on 5 December 2012: Founder of What I Wore Today - @WIWT. My surname isn't Disney and I'm not a DJ/model/cupcake. Hated by the Daily Mail. e = poppy@wiwt.com Location: London · http://wiwt.com/user/poppy - 39,911 tweets. 887 following. 14,955 followers. Poppy Dinsey appeared to be working independently at the time.

**A definition I like: cafe is a place "where time and space are consumed, but only the coffee is found on the bill."** [link]

11 December 2012 Evgeny Morozov ‏@evgenymorozov [^124.100] https://twitter.com/evgenymorozov/status/278604628927602688 His bio and stats on 8 November 2012: There are idiots. Look around. Location: in transit. http://www.netdelusion.com 15,313 tweets. 2,730 following. 29,497 followers.

Link points to the source of the quote above: "Intangible Cultural Heritage in Austria - Viennese Coffee House Culture," by Klub der Wiener Kaffeehausbesitzer [^124.101], Klubobmann KommR Maximilian K. Platzer, http://immaterielleskulturerbe.unesco.at/cgi-bin/unesco/element.pl?eid=71&lang=enThe club's URL: http://www.kaffeesieder.at/jart/prj3/kwk/main.jart

I'm tired of these cute little cafes.

I wanna go to an ugly giant cafe.

Like, you could fit a circus in there, it's so big.

25 February 2012 Xung Lam @xunglam [^124.102] https://twitter.com/#!/xunglam/status/173485969633329152 Twitter bio and stats on 10 September 2013: My name is pronounced Sung. I am also @Bakedspeare. Location: Seattle · favstar.fm/users/xunglam - 705 tweets. 3,017 following. 4,053 followers.

It's raining and I've had 3 people tell me what an ugly day it is.

3 employed, attractive & healthy people.

It's what you make it, guys.

18 May 2011 Shane @shanethevein [^124.103] https://twitter.com/#!/shanethevein/status/70877069898297344 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: Twitter should be an escape, not a destination. http://favstar.fm/users/shanethevein Location: America's Finest City! · http://shanethevein.tumblr.com/ - 21,001 tweets. 5,385 following. 16,054 followers.

" **Thank God it's Friday!" – People who chose the wrong profession**

27 April 2012 Sixth Form Poet ‏@sixthformpoet [^124.104] https://twitter.com/#!/sixthformpoet/status/195804512181682176 Bio and stats on 16 March 2013: Please buy my book, I owe people money. Location: Brighton · amzn.to/RAKKY9 - 5,856 tweets. 675 following. 77,490 followers.

Gambling reinforces the idea that happiness cannot exist without sudden material gains.

9 April 2014 Y Gambling Sucks ‏@YgamblingSucks [^124.105] https://twitter.com/YgamblingSucks/status/453817886365057025 Bio: Gambling ruins you socially, politically, and financially. The odds are against you however way you'd like to see it. 11,951 tweets. 23 following. 2,441 followers.

Found through this modified re-tweet (MT):

MT "@YgamblingSucks: #Gambling reinforces the idea that #happiness cannot exist without sudden material gains."

9 April 2014 Badar Khushnood ‏@badar76 [^124.106] https://twitter.com/badar76/status/453819958850752512 His bio: #Google #Pakistan Country Consultant; tweets r *personal* thoughts, recollections & opinions; retweets ≠ endorsements! #AntiWar #StopDrones. Location: Lahore, Pakistan · bit.ly/badar - 1,467 tweets. 2,121 following. 10,701 followers.

The problem with success in America is the definition of success in America.

17 May 2012 Rey ‏@HecatePanGddss [^124.107] https://twitter.com/hecatepangddss/status/203140347163983873 Bio and stats on 17 February 2013: Don't bother asking me. You'll decide for yourself. Location: The Infinite Universe. 26,004 tweets. 336 following. 3,227 followers.

The secret to success is not to tell anyone about it

12 February 2013 MrsG ‏@MrsGoose69 [^124.108] https://twitter.com/MrsGoose69/status/301365446521794562 Bio: My goal is to make you piss your pants. Either by never wanting to leave, or from laughter. I DON'T FOLLOW EGGS! Pls hatch...I HATE HASHTAGS! Fuck Off! Location: Centre of the Universe · http://favstar.fm/users/MrsGoose69/recent - 34,038 tweets. 1,561 following. 12,838 followers.

Your resume states "Despite every precious second of life being a wondrous mystery, I'll spend it in an office, caring about Work." Hired.

25 Sep 2012 brendle what ‏@brendlewhat [^124.109] https://twitter.com/brendlewhat/status/250723924587995136 Bio and stats on 16 February 2014: word fetishist - http://brendlewords.blogspot.com/p/radio-fragments.html - 33,772 tweets. 290 following. 17,965 followers.

Living someone else's lie is not success.

15 April 2014 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^124.110] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/456225768909963267 Bio: Writer on politics, economy, media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com - 19,157 tweets. 1,097 following. 22,310 followers.

"To succeed" literally means "to follow". Is that all you want, to follow someone else? Don't lean in -- push back.

15 April 2014 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^124.111] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/456226557128744960 Bio: Writer on politics, economy, media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com - 19,157 tweets. 1,097 following. 22,310 followers.

Before you climb the ladder, consider where it takes you. Look at who holds the ladder in place. Look at who's barred from the first rung.

15 April 2014 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^124.112] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/456231756375408640 Bio: Writer on politics, economy, media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com - 19,157 tweets. 1,097 following. 22,310 followers.

" **When success is a stranglehold, true freedom is failure.** "

[Link]

15 April 2014 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^124.113 and ^124.114 for the quote below] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/456223936431521792 Bio: Writer on politics, economy, media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com - 19,157 tweets. 1,097 following. 22,310 followers.

The link in the above tweet points to this article: "Why You Should Never Have Taken That Prestigious Internship," by Sam Bakkila, PolicyMic, 14 June 2013, http://www.policymic.com/articles/48829/why-you-should-never-have-taken-that-prestigious-internship

Sam Bakkila @sbakkila [^124.115] Twitter bio and stats on 1 December 2013: @policymic pundit. I also tweet my favorite quotes from books and movies. If you know the source, tweet back at me! Location: Cambridge MA. 748 tweets. 779 following. 308 followers.

PolicyMic @PolicyMic [^124.116] Twitter bio and stats on 1 December 2013: Thought-provoking. Inspiring. News that matters to our generation and disrupts the world as we know it. Location: NYC · policymic.com. 20,597 tweets. 933 following. 17,477 followers.

Sarah Kendzior's tweet consists of a quote by her, from Sam Bakkila's article. Here are the first three paragraphs of the article:

"If social revolution comes to America, it will not come from New York, San Francisco or other cities where the middle class has been obliterated or is struggling to survive. It will come from St. Louis, Pittsburgh, Detroit, New Orleans — cities where you can afford to fail. When success is a stranglehold, true freedom is failure. The freedom to fail is the freedom to innovate, to experiment, to challenge.

"St. Louis is becoming a city of unlikely agitators. Eric Garland, a fearless economic analyst who left the corruption of D.C. behind, lives here. So does Rebecca Schuman, a prominent critic of the academic job racket. So does Bahodir Choriyev, the leader of one of Uzbekistan's biggest opposition parties. People like us could never afford to live in an expensive city and do what we do, say what we say, because our energy would be spent on survival.

"Fear inhibits innovation. In expensive cities, people live in constant fear. A small wrong move can upend everything, so they conform, terrified of losing their jobs, apartments, health insurance. They conform intellectually, and they conform in behavior. They cling to a career ladder with a drop-off to hell. I don't judge them. People do what they need to do to survive. But when survival is an aspiration, society has failed."

No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.

\- Friedrich Nietzsche

12 September 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^124.117] on her blog: https://pelsjas.wordpress.com/2012/09/12/6935/ Her Twitter bio and stats on 14 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,223 tweets. 1,918 following. 1,773 followers.

I am not a cog.

4 April 2013 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^124.118] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/320016683894980608 His bio: i was born 'n stuff. Hanging out in my garage. · http://favstar.fm/users/RobotThomas - 44,198 tweets. 8,270 following. 7,598 followers.

Quit your life.

Get on a plane, train, bus.

Get some sun.

Breathe some wind.

Fall in love.

Don't come back

22 March 2012 Mental Exotica ‏@mentalexotica [^124.119] https://twitter.com/mentalexotica/status/182748858407845888 Her Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 10 September 2013: Luna @mentalexotica - My obsessive compulsive disorders bring all the boys to the yard. In alphabetical order. Location: Between nowhere and goodbye · mentalexotica.wordpress.com. 42,774 tweets. 476 following. 8,814 followers. Tweeting from and about Bengaluru at the time.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  125. Inequality and class

Inequality and class issues gained prominence in the run-up to the 2012 presidential election in the United States. Mercifully for readers with a limited interest in US politics, only one tweet in this section references that election cycle.

Political discussions on Twitter often favor the extremes, with more weight placed on sources and their ideological affiliations than on consensus or open engagement.

This section is not meant to express a consistent or partisan viewpoint, which can lock discussions into narrow, pre-set options and narratives.

The only thing to fear is devastating poverty.

4 December 2011 Princess Warhole @WickedSica \- https://twitter.com/#!/WickedSica/status/143376483241562112 Her screen name, ID, stats and bio on 19 December 2012: Jessica Rabbit. @WickedSica I'm like @JessicaFancy but on acid. I wrote a poem: Fuck you. Location: Candyland. · http://favstar.fm/users/wickedsica \- 3,663 tweets. 4,118 following. 4,728 followers. She is being counted under another of her Twitter IDs: @JessicaFancy [^125.1].

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself," said by Franklin D. Roosevelt on 4 March 1933, in his first presidential inaugural address, which occurred during the midst of an economic crisis.

Only in America are the rich too poor to afford more taxes, and the poor [too] rich for welfare benefits.

6 December 2011 CJ Werleman @rationalists [^125.2] https://twitter.com/#!/rationalists/status/144269288226816000 Twitter stats on 12 April 2013: USA · cjwerleman.com – 14,160 tweets. 612 following. 28,624 followers. Twitter stats on 28 September 2013: 16,317 tweets. 838 following. 26,796 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 21 February 2014: Author 'Crucifying America' and 'God Hates You. Hate Him Back' (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00GA65DQY/ref=cjwe02-20 ) Op-Ed Columnist for Salon/Alternet. Location: USA · cjwerleman.com – 19,014 tweets. 922 following. 28,113 followers. In the original tweet, "to" was changed to "too" above.

When wealth is passed off as merit, bad luck is seen as a character flaw.

This is how America justifies punishing the sick and the poor.

1 October 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^125.3] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/385045038331203585 Bio: Writer on politics, economy, media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com. 12,005 tweets. 886 following. 10,480 followers.

Tweeted on the morning that the US federal government shut down due to an impasse in Congress over whether to continue funding programs for the poor.

Then:

The war on poverty turned into a war on the poor. In the media, poverty's victims were recast as its perpetrators, its enablers as its foes.

1 October 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^125.4] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/385046233506525185 Bio: Writer on politics, economy, media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com. 12,005 tweets. 886 following. 10,480 followers.

In America, everything is supposed to be either 1) in your control 2) divinely arbitrated. You either jumped, or you were meant to fall.

1 October 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^125.5] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/385050943072378881 Bio: Writer on politics, economy, media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com. 12,005 tweets. 886 following. 10,480 followers.

Atlas shrugged and watched your house burn to the ground.

6 October 2010 mikey-san @mikeysan [^125.6] https://twitter.com/#!/mikeysan/status/26524813211 Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 12 September 2013: mikey @mikeysan - I like how good things fit together. %eax. 7,156 tweets. 58 following. 699 followers.

Refers to Ayn Rand's 1957 novel Atlas Shrugged. The novel's hero, John Galt, symbolizes "rational self-interest," i.e., selfishness.

Related tweet:

If you need an eloquent antidote to John Galt, read anything on economic opportunity and exploitation by @sarahkendzior lately.

16 November 2013 Adam Weinstein ‏@AdamWeinstein [^125.7] https://twitter.com/AdamWeinstein/status/401891795996389378 Bio: I write for @Gawker. I have a beautiful blonde wife. My baby is cuter than your baby. Location: Tallahassee, FL. 33,290 tweets. 1,873 following. 7,778 followers.

Not sure why but I always get the American national anthem stuck in my head while I'm getting a payday loan.

26 September 2011 Doooooov @lazerdoov [^125.8] https://twitter.com/#!/lazerdoov/status/118575106925670400 His bio and stats on 27 February 2013: my uncle invented arson. http://jukeleft.com http://socialnewsmedia.net and http://witstream.com – Location: victoria bc canada · favstar.fm/users/lazerdoov - 9,246 tweets. 536 following. 19,232 followers.

Ron Paul's answer--poor people in rich countries giving to rich people in poor countries--comes from development economist PT Bauer.

18 October 2011 Ramesh Ponnuru @RameshPonnuru [^125.9] https://twitter.com/#!/RameshPonnuru/status/126471927161294848 His Twitter bio and stats on 12 September 2013: National Review senior editor, Bloomberg View columnist, AEI Visiting Fellow, U. Chicago IOP Resident Fellow. Location: Washington, DC · nationalreview.com/author/49289 - 8,498 tweets. 428 following. 24,438 followers.

Twitter bio and stats on 12 September 2013 for Ron Paul @RonPaul [^125.10] Former Congressman from Texas. Location: Clute, TX. 1,303 tweets. 164 following. 447,907 followers.

Peter Thomas Bauer [^125.11] (1915-2002) was a development economist who opposed price controls, protectionism and government-controlled foreign aid. He argued that they perpetuated poverty.

Tweeted during a nationally televised debate on US foreign policy and foreign aid. The debate took place during the US presidential primaries. The participants were the leading candidates for the Republican Party's presidential nomination, Ron Paul among them.

Tedious to be lectured about the privilege we enjoy in the West by people who have only heard about poverty from their servants.

7 June 2012 David Steven ‏@davidsteven [^125.12] https://twitter.com/davidsteven/status/210694922154676224 Twitter bio and stats on 12 September 2013: International relations, global risks, resilience. Also Pakistan, Nigeria. At: Center on International Cooperation, NYU; Brookings, River Path; Global Dashboard. Location: England · globaldashboard.org. 16,738 tweets. 1,797 following. 3,842 followers.

There are no billionaires in foxholes.

22 November 2012 Johnny Argent ‏@JohnnyArgent [^125.13] https://twitter.com/JohnnyArgent/status/271878300496953344 His bio and stats on 25 November 2012: Roseanne's partner in laughing the BS to scorn. Writer, Musician, Artist blasphemous humanitarian and animal lover. Dilettante, among other things. Location: Infinite living mind. · http://roseanneworld.com - 25,812 tweets. 400 following. 7,773 followers.

Johnny Argent updates the old saying that there are no millionaires in foxholes.

Congratulations to rich people everywhere!

24 May 2011 Tim Siedell @badbanana [^125.14] https://twitter.com/#!/badbanana/status/73222851108421632 His bio and stats on 13 November 2012: Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire. Location: Nebraska, USA · http://about.me/timsiedell - 14,736 tweets. 270 following. 625,020 followers.

Born on third and think they hit a triple.

28 November 2011 David Forbes @DavidForbes [^125.15] https://twitter.com/#!/DavidForbes/status/141264807079837696 Twitter bio and stats on 12 July 2014: Be a sage in wisdom, a monk in temperament, a servant in graces and a dragon in war. @AvlBlade Editor. Ex @mxnews @nsfwcorp. @TheBreakingTime creator. Location: Asheville - thebreakingtime.typepad.com - 52,864 tweets. 2,054 following. 3,236 followers.

In baseball, hitting a triple means hitting the ball far enough to run to third base. Hitting a triple is a big accomplishment.

We can't all be the princess.

Someone has to sit on the curb and wave as I go by.

That's right, wave!

A little faster.

Good!

26 May 2011 BedheadBunny @BedheadBunny [^125.16] https://twitter.com/#!/BedheadBunny/status/73712616643641345 Her bio and stats on 22 March 2013: I'm a shy and delicate flower, bitches. Location: North Carolina · http://favstar.fm/users/BedheadBunny - 7,030 tweets. 2,409 following. 3,521 followers.

Earlier today Donald Trump crashed his yacht into my yacht.

We laughed & laughed & then we smoked some money.

6 April 2012 Mary Charlene ‏@IamEnidColeslaw [^125.17] https://twitter.com/#!/IamEnidColeslaw/status/188426290590785536 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: the Garbage Pail Kids version of Zooey Deschanel. Location: Chicago. 13,504 tweets. 4,054 following. 84,168 followers.

Life is not about the journey, it's about being rich.

14 November 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^125.18] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/268667192390868992 Her bio: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,223 tweets. 1,918 following. 1,773 followers.

Some elites are refined to a degree that exists only in deeply unequal societies: Sao Paulo.

22 November 2011 Alain de Botton @alaindebotton [^125.19] https://twitter.com/#!/alaindebotton/status/139151638765125632 His bio and stats on 15 January 2013: Writer; most recently of 'Religion for Atheists'. Location: London · http://tinyurl.com/chcbro9 - 555 tweets. 4,420 following. 308,786 followers.

If you have people working for you on a daily basis in your home, I don't think we'll have much to talk about.

17 January 2012 Ms. Spalanzani @rejecter [^125.20] https://twitter.com/#!/rejecter/status/159232710265683968 Her bio and stats on 19 December 2012: Commie hoochie trollop. Subterfugitive. 17,014 tweets. 267 following. 4,547 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 24 September 2013: She can read, she can read, she can read, she's bad. Location: Västerås. 19,573 tweets. 300 following. 4,400 followers.

Some people are so poor, all they have is money.

21 March 2012 Yousif El Helw @elhelwy [^125.21] https://twitter.com/#!/elhelwy/status/182496261008670721 He was in Cairo with 1,550 followers. His Twitter bio and stats on 12 September 2013: CEO of Cairo. Location: London | Jeddah | Cairo · elhelwy.tumblr.com. 2,142 tweets. 60 following. 5,960 followers.

Being wealthy means you can reward yourself with nice cars, jewels and houses. It does not elevate your human importance.

4 March 2012 Jessica ‏@Oshungurl - https://twitter.com/#!/Oshungurl/status/187754192025305090 Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 4 May 2013: Jessica @Ms_Mosman [^125.22] I do a bit of this and that here and there every now and again. Location: Balmoral, Sydney. 2,142 tweets. 62 following. 4,666 followers.

One of my employees was admiring my new car. I told him if he works hard and puts the hours in. I will have an even better one next year..

15 July 2012 Jack Koff ‏@TheToxicWaster [^125.23] https://twitter.com/TheToxicWaster/status/224621855661760512 Twitter bio and stats on 12 September 2013: Professional bullshitter. Location: England United Kingdom. 73 tweets. 30,304 following. 29,290 followers. On 12 September 2013 this tweet was found to have been deleted. It was found to have subsequently been stolen at least twice. Google and Bing searches on 12 September 2013 did not find this phrase to have been posted previously on the web.

Today I saw Eddie Murphy driving a Phantom convertible down Coldwater Canyon with the top down, what the shit did you do?

28 September 2012 kelly oxford ‏@kellyoxford [^125.24] https://twitter.com/kellyoxford/status/251812706443751424 Her bio and stats on 22 December 2012: Writer. Designed to make you feel like everything is going well. I am your Perestroika. Location: Los Angeles · http://kellyoxford.tumblr.com/ - 3,515 tweets. 741 following. 427,663 followers.

Eddie Murphy's Rolls-Royce Phantom drophead coupe had an estimated market value of a quarter of a million US dollars at the time. The starting price for new models was reportedly $407,000 in 2014.

@ **kellyoxford worked hard to earn my paycheck.**

28 September 2012 kdn ‏@kdn13 [^125.25] https://twitter.com/kdn13/status/251814764911656960 Her bio and stats on 21 December 2012: I have a weakness for split infinitives. Location: Bay Area, CA · instagram.com/kdnthirteen - 4,778 tweets. 258 following. 20,211 followers. This tweet is unusual in that kdn rarely replied to anyone at the time.

You are fortunate if you have a job, but you shouldn't have to be.

21 November 2011 Kim @Kimmittable [^125.26] https://twitter.com/#!/Kimmittable/status/138744232365137920 Her bio and stats on 7 March 2013: I'm not a doctor, but I think there's something wrong with you. Location: Ontario, Canada · http://favstar.fm/users/Kimpulses - 7,477 tweets. 410 following. 5,816 followers.

Deprived of meaningful work, men and women lose their reason for existence; they go stark, raving mad. - Fyodor Dostoevsky

22 January 2013 Shiraz Hassan ‏@ShirazHassan [^125.27] https://twitter.com/ShirazHassan/status/293816475691667456 His bio: Journalist - working for Daily Jehan Pakistan. Feature Writer. Blogger. Amateur Photographer. Tweets are personal opinions. RTs ≠ Endorsements. Location: Rawalpindi, Pakistan · http://shirazhassan.blogspot.com - 52,533 tweets. 394 following. 4,811 followers.

Reply:

@ShirazHassan Do you believe you're doing meaningful work?

22 January 2013 Saif Ali ‏@AreYouSaif [^125.28] https://twitter.com/AreYouSaif/status/293816957147435008 Bio: Sub-editor for The Express Tribune, affiliate of Int'l Herald Tribune. Pseudo-hippie. Amreeki Desi exiled from the US. Views are my own. RTs ≠ endorsements. Location: Karachi by way of Houston, TX. 6,091 tweets. 357 following. 346 followers.

Response:

@AreYouSaif Not sure, but I enjoy doing my work. Quite reasonable.

22 January 2013 Shiraz Hassan ‏@ShirazHassan [^125.29] https://twitter.com/ShirazHassan/status/293817220499394561 His bio: Journalist - working for Daily Jehan Pakistan. Feature Writer. Blogger. Amateur Photographer. Tweets are personal opinions. RTs ≠ Endorsements. Location: Rawalpindi, Pakistan · http://shirazhassan.blogspot.com - 52,533 tweets. 394 following. 4,811 followers.

Right to work my fucking ass! More like right to get fired for any reason.

21 March 2012 tashy baby ‏@tashymarie [^125.30] https://twitter.com/#!/tashymarie/status/182691140389187584 She had tweeted that she was working as a blackjack dealer in a Miami casino at the time. No Twitter account with this ID found on 10 September 2013.

In US states with "right to work" laws, employees are not obligated to pay union dues or join the labor union that has a collective bargaining agreement covering that workplace. This discourages unionization. Employees in non-union workplaces may be terminated without just cause.

Unions are needed in democracies. Unions are needed in order to protect the middle class.

From the _'Right to Work' for Less_ webpage:

By making unions weaker, these laws lower wages and living standards for all workers in the state. In fact, workers in states with these laws earn an average of $5,680 less a year than workers in other states. Because of the higher wages, working families in states without these laws also benefit from healthier tax bases that improve their quality of life. "Right to work for less" is closer to the truth.

"'Right to Work' for Less," AFL-CIO, as retrieved 10 October 2013, http://www.aflcio.org/Legislation-and-Politics/State-Legislative-Battles/Ongoing-State-Legislative-Attacks/Right-to-Work-for-Less

AFL-CIO @AFLCIO [^125.31] Twitter bio and stats on 10 October 2013: Official Twitter page for the AFL-CIO, America's Union Movement. Read our blog for daily updates on news important to working families at http://blog.aflcio.org – Location: Washington, DC · aflcio.org - 18,470 tweets. 5,965 following. 41,421 followers.

The employees of the first and second largest corporations in the US literally can't afford to eat.

29 November 2013 umair haque ‏@umairh [^125.32] https://twitter.com/umairh/status/406529828046012417 His bio and stats on 30 November 2013: Economist, author, slayer of zombies. Location: london/paris/nyc · blogs.hbr.org/umair-haque/ - 63,080 tweets. 1,116 following. 217,790 followers.

Tweeted in response to news about a food drive that a Walmart store in Canton, Ohio, had run for several years. The food drive allowed Walmart employees to donate food to their less fortunate colleagues working at the company.

See:

"Is Walmart's request of associates to help provide Thanksgiving dinner for co-workers proof of low wages?" by Olivera Perkins, The Plain Dealer, 18 November 2013,  http://www.cleveland.com/business/index.ssf/2013/11/is_walmarts_request_of_associa.html

Lede:

"The Walmart on Atlantic Boulevard in Canton is collecting food for employees who can't afford Thanksgiving dinner. The company said this is proof that employees look out for one another. The group of employees who have held national strikes against the world's largest retailer says the food drive is proof Walmart doesn't pay associates enough to survive. The Organization United for Respect at Walmart, or OUR Walmart, is holding strikes against the chain at stores in Dayton and Cincinnati on Monday, Nov. 18."

Olivera Perkins @OPinfo [^125.33] Twitter bio and stats on 30 November 2013: I am a business writer at The Plain Dealer. My beat includes labor and employment issues. Location: Cleveland, Ohio. 675 tweets. 671 following. 430 followers.

The Plain Dealer @ThePlainDealer [^125.34] Twitter bio and stats on 1 December 2013: For 24/7 news and information from The Plain Dealer, Sun News and @NEO_MediaGroup, follow @clevelanddotcom. Cleveland, OH · plaindealer.com. 1,616 tweets. 110 following. 7,751 followers.

Clevelanddotcom @clevelanddotcom [^125.35] Twitter bio and stats on 1 December 2013: Everything Cleveland! Cleveland, Ohio · cleveland.com. 97,881 tweets. 7,080 following. 28,836 followers.

Walmart's critics have argued that the company could pay living wages to its employees without eroding the company's competitive price position, as labor costs at Walmart generally constituted a small portion of the cost of each item sold.

A moment of silence for the 50+ yr old women working in a 24hr Denny's right now.

20 November 2011 late at night. kelly oxford @kellyoxford [^125.36] https://twitter.com/#!/kellyoxford/status/138459956700659713 Her bio and stats on 15 January 2013: Writer. Designed to make you feel like everything is going well. I am your Perestroika. Location: Los Angeles · http://kellyoxford.tumblr.com/ - 3,608 tweets. 756 following. 435,829 followers.

If you tip less than 20% to a server. You should stay home for a few more meals until you can afford to appreciate the working class.

9 July 2012 Ryan Armentrout ‏@ryaninco [^125.37] https://twitter.com/ryaninco/status/222316324670537729 His bio and stats on 2 November 2012: Traveling the U.S. like a gypsy, only I take a shower daily. Instagram Ryaninco. Location: I get around · http://favstar.fm/users/ryaninco - 22,000 tweets. 5,016 following. 13,127 followers.

Many visitors to North America do not recognize the importance of tipping, especially for food and beverages. This causes hardship for employees in food-and-beverage establishments, and can generate animosity toward foreign visitors. People in the US who do not tip properly are seen as sociopaths.

Sitting at the bus stop with everyone who just got done cooking filet mignon for people who hate people who cook filet mignon.

23 August 2010 Hairy Godmother @Smmythe [^125.38] https://twitter.com/Smmythe/status/21971856269 Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 13 September 2013: Miss Ma'am @Smmythe - When ******s see me, they know what time it is. Location: Austin · thequincyannefrank.posterous.com. 3,934 tweets. 534 following. 914 followers. On 13 September 2013 this tweet was found to have been deleted.

One of life's ironies is that if you have a job where you have to wear a nametag, nobody gives a fuck what your name is.

30 June 2011 Schrodinger's Dog @CuddlyNinja [^125.39] https://twitter.com/#!/CuddlyNinja/status/86482375428673536 On 13 September 2013 this tweet was found to have been deleted and the account disabled. Screen name, bio and stats on 13 September 2013: Rory Holderness @CuddlyNinja - All around good guy. 1 tweet. 11 following. 13 followers.

One effect of the recession: jobs that were once held by disinterested teenagers are now held by bitter adults.

17 November 2009 @tedalexandro [^125.40] via Kyria Abrahams @kyriabeingbanal [^125.41] on Twitter. URL lost. Twitter bio and stats on 13 September 2013 for Ted Alexandro @tedalexandro - I'm a standup comedian typing stuff to you from time to time. tedalexandro.com. 7,874 tweets. 328 following. 12,513 followers. No Twitter account with the ID @kyriabeingbanal was found on 12 September 2013.

I don't think I'll ever be able to relate to people who love what they do for work. Is it like living in Narnia?

Monday, 30 September 2013 rjctr ‏@rejecter [^125.42] https://twitter.com/rejecter/status/384593256731795456 Her bio: She can read, she can read, she can read, she's bad. Location: Västerås. 19,698 tweets. 299 following. 4,404 followers.

You make money doing what you love? Good for you. Now go fuck yourself.

28 August 2011 kdn @kdn13 [^125.43] https://twitter.com/#!/kdn13/status/107880652388569089 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: I have a weakness for split infinitives. Location: Bay Area, CA. 4,724 tweets. 247 following. 19,916 followers.

What a life. Someone nicer ought to be living it.

19 October 2013 Hugh Laurie ‏@hughlaurie [^125.44] https://twitter.com/hughlaurie/status/391804286960562176 Twitter bio and stats on 23 November 2013: Actor, musician, writer. Because the world needs more of those. 270 tweets. 79 following. 197,140 followers.

Childhood Lesson:

The people with the most toys are poor sharers.

8 July 2009 Jason Sweeney @sween [^125.45] in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia, on Favrd. https://twitter.com/sween/status/2530996069 His Twitter bio and stats on 18 November 2012: limited edition, macaroni and glitter on construction paper. Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada · http://iamyourcanadianboyfriend.com - 6,366 tweets. 295 following. 1,130,544 followers.

$20 bills are yuppie dollar bills.

20 July 2011 kdn @kdn13 [^125.46] https://twitter.com/#!/kdn13/status/93771008938491905 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: I have a weakness for split infinitives. Location: Bay Area, CA. 4,724 tweets. 247 following. 19,916 followers.

#1: **Some chick asked me what I would do with 10 million bucks. I told her I'd wonder where the rest of my money went**.

10 January 2012 GS Elevator Gossip @GSElevator [^125.47] https://twitter.com/#!/GSElevator/status/156964572530606080 Bio and stats on 10 October 2013: Things heard in the Goldman Sachs elevators do not stay in the Goldman Sachs elevators. Email what you hear to elevatorgoldman@gmail.com. Location: New York / London / Hong Kong · bit.ly/MXGXPF - 1,073 tweets. 3 following. 545,065 followers. The hashtag may refer to the elevator in which the remark was ostensibly overheard.

If you are born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you shouldn't go around bragging how hard you worked in life to not gag on it.

6 March 2012 Joel Ingersoll ‏@FlyoverJoel [^125.48] https://twitter.com/flyoverjoel/status/177210410380951553 His bio and stats on 10 December 2012: I get up and I put on pants. Location: Saint Paul, MN · http://favstar.fm/users/FlyoverJoel/most_retweeted - 9,975 tweets. 540 following. 6,314 followers.

How nice an existence it must be to have to completely make up ways in which one is marginalized.

9 January 2012 Zoey P. @Zoeytrope [^125.49] https://twitter.com/#!/Zoeytrope/status/156526208828440578 Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: The secret ingredient is phone. Location: Seattle, WA. 41,944 tweets. 666 following. 1,297 followers.

Sorry I missed you speaking about the high stress of fame, Ashton. The car I'm living in doesn't have a TV.

29 October 2011 Darth Bash @DarthBash [^125.50] https://twitter.com/#!/DarthBash/status/130338601069314048 No Twitter account with this ID found on 13 September 2013.

The tweet refers to Christopher Ashton Kutcher, an American actor, producer and model. His Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 13 September 2013: ashton kutcher @aplusk - I make stuff, actually I make up stuff, stories mostly, collaborations of thoughts, dreams, and actions. Thats me. Location: Los Angeles, California · facebook.com/Ashton. 8,063 tweets. 715 following. 14,931,449 followers.

PRIVILEGED WHITE PERSON EMERGENCY

14 October 2013 rjctr ‏@rejecter [^125.51] https://twitter.com/rejecter/status/389997077952217088 Her bio: She can read, she can read, she can read, she's bad. Location: Västerås. 19,948 tweets. 300 following. 4,408 followers.

One of the luxuries of being a member of a privileged group is that the benefits afforded often remain invisible.

Above is a quote from: "Playing with privilege: the invisible benefits of gaming while male," by Jonathan McIntosh, @radicalbytes, Polygon, 23 April 23, 2014,  http://www.polygon.com/2014/4/23/5640678/playing-with-privilege-the-invisible-benefits-of-gaming-while-male

Jonathan McIntosh @radicalbytes [^186.94 - added late and out of sequence here] Twitter bio and stats on 1 March 2015: Transformative media maker. Pop culture critic. Producer and co-writer on the Tropes vs Women in Video Games YouTube series. - rebelliouspixels.com - 8,999 tweets. 1,131 following. 6,307 followers.

Polygon @Polygon [^186.95 - added late and out of sequence here] Twitter bio and stats on 1 March 2015: Polygon is a website for the renaissance gamer. That's a fancy way of saying we write about Game of Thrones sometimes. But usually games. polygon.com - 24,016 tweets. 75 following. 222,871 followers.

I just wanna be rich and sit around all day and wear dresses and "do lunch" with a bunch of ladies I hate and then pretend I go to yoga.

2 July 2011 Sputnik Sweetheart @Verlieren [^125.52] https://twitter.com/#!/Verlieren/status/87019177776381952 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: Creator of Google, previously psychotic person. Not to make you fall in love with me but I probably don't have AIDS. http://tinyurl.com/verinstagram - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001856/ - 11,012 tweets. 548 following. 14,712 followers.

"If I was a rich girl..." -Gwen Stefani, actual rich girl

10 September 2012 donni ‏@donni [^125.53] https://twitter.com/donni/status/245332865410277376 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Comedy sand wedge. Writer, performer, fledgling opener, packet submitter. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Sea cows probably never see cows. Location: Chicago City Of Wind · http://qr.net/donni - 9,640 tweets. 839 following. 25,773 followers.

Gwen Stefani @gwenstefani [^125.54] wrote and performed the song "Rich Girl." It was the last song to be included in her debut solo album, Love. Angel. Music. Baby., released on 12 November 2004 on the Interscope Records label. Stefani subsequently released the song as the second single from that album on 14 December 2004, also on the Interscope label. The song was also a hit for the performer Christina Aguilera. Twitter bio and stats on 13 September 2013 for Gwen Stefani @gwenstefani - Vocalist @NoDoubt - nodoubt.com. 408 tweets. 31 following. 986,729 followers.

**Heard a new feudalism today.** _I live in Gone with the Wind. Without picnics._

31 August 2012 levinandkitteh ‏@weareourdesires [^125.55] https://twitter.com/weareourdesires/status/241604784434593792 Her bio and stats on 10 August 2012: the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones that are mad to live. Location: In transit. 4,345 tweets. 337 following. 203 followers. On 24 October 2012 her account was found to have disappeared. Italics added.

Refers to Gone with the Wind, by Martha Mitchell, Macmillan Publishers, 10 June 1936. This novel portrays plantation society in Georgia during the Civil War and Reconstruction. A movie of the same name and based on the novel had its premier in Atlanta on 15 December 1939, with Victor Fleming credited as the director.

@weareourdesires lived in a society that remains partially feudal and where the ruling national party at the time, propped up by US aid and IMF loans, is referred to by some observers as a feudal party. It was then the most socially liberal party in the country.

A wise man knows his limitations

A rich man knows yours

10 September 2012 Stings ‏@thatstings [^125.56] https://twitter.com/thatstings/status/245326620771090433 His stats on 12 November 2012: The Peanut Gallery · http://favstar.fm/users/thatstings/recent - 8,460 tweets. 3,001 following. 9,475 followers.

Somebody called me 'pretentious' the other day. I nearly choked on my decaf double choc mocha latte.

21 March 2011 Dino @daplusk - https://twitter.com/#!/daplusk/status/49796905902944256 His screen name, ID, bio and stats on 15 March 2013: Dean @DeanOkay [^125.57] Writes on the internet. Blinks in code. Contributor for @TheFakeCNN also post a weekly tweet list at http://theimpersonals.com/author/dean-okay/ - Location: Sydney · favstar.fm/users/DeanOkay - 1,247 tweets. 602 following. 7,429 followers.

I've devised a plan for fixing Broken Britain, but many of you will have to move abroad and some of you will have to dress as elves.

24 October 2011 Greg @themanwhofell [^125.58] https://twitter.com/#!/themanwhofell/status/128406824356556800 His Twitter bio and stats on 13 September 2013: I will return to Twitter on September 14th 2017. Location: London, England · themanwhofellasleep.com/FAQ.htm - 78,768 tweets. 432 following. 20,849 followers.

On 13 September 2013 this was his most recent tweet:

Twitter is no place for a human being.

10 May 2012 Greg ‏@themanwhofell [^125.59] https://twitter.com/themanwhofell/status/200608264759681025 His Twitter bio and stats on 13 September 2013: I will return to Twitter on September 14th 2017. Location: London, England · themanwhofellasleep.com/FAQ.htm - 78,768 tweets. 432 following. 20,849 followers.

Nude in a shipping crate marked CHINA, hoping for the best

26 May 2013 donni ‏@donni [^125.60] https://twitter.com/donni/status/339221617446109185 Bio and stats on 27 May 2013: I'm Donni Saphire and I approved this beverage. Writer of joke sentences. Open mic lingerer. Comfy. More at TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com ) Still not a cop. Location: Chicago city limits · favstar.fm/users/donni/recent - 10,016 tweets. 899 following. 30,737 followers. On 14 September 2013 this tweet was found to have been deleted.

We can't feed the poor but we can fund a war?

2 September 2011 Megan Fox @meeowmaria [^125.61] on Twitter. URL lost. No account with that Twitter ID found on 14 September 2013. The tweeter is of Pakistani origin who was living with her family in the UK and studying to be a beauty technician. Her screen name is a pseudonym. Numerous other instances of this saying appeared at the same time, with no original source identified.

The nice thing about being poor is that you never have to go to the dentist.

25 January 2012 jayonguitar @jayonguitar [^125.62] https://twitter.com/#!/jayonguitar/status/162180662391087105 His Twitter bio and stats on 14 September 2013: My father is the Mexican Santa Claus and my mother can conjure lightning. Location: California · favstar.fm/users/jayonguitar - 3,953 tweets. 3,607 following. 3,764 followers.

My dental plan is basically me chewing on the side of my mouth that doesn't hurt.

23 February 2012 the_moonface ‏@the_moonface [^125.63] https://twitter.com/#!/the_moonface/status/172908675650945025 His bio and stats on 18 March 2013: There should be a cleverly written paragraph about how unique and special I am written here. Same username for kik and Instagram. Location: A small body in orbit. 2,281 tweets. 2,716 following. 12,926 followers.

Oh what I wouldn't give for a moment alone with affordable health care.

28 November 2012 bllix, the tinier ‏@tinybllix - https://twitter.com/tinybllix/status/274047321166204928 Her bio and stats on 28 February 2013: Yes, I'm @bllix. No, I'm not a bot. Yes, I'm also @loudbllix. No, I'm not schizophrenic. Yes, I'm real. No, I'm not a dude. Yes, I'm single. No, I'm busy later. Location: Portland, OR. · http://www.twitter.com/bllix - 3,853 tweets. 199 following. 1,357 followers. The same author posts as @bllix [^125.64], @tinybllix, @loudbllix and @bllixodus.

Shitting blood with no health insurance. RT @KimKardashian: What's everyone up to tonight? I am getting a massage and going to relax!

Friday night, 12 August 2011 Pauly Casillas @PaulyPeligroso [^125.65] https://twitter.com/#!/PaulyPeligroso/status/102238436714487808 His bio and stats on 4 March 2013: I do comedy. I swallowed a marble once. Location: Tucson, Arizona · http://www.witstream.com/#pauly_casillas - 11,881 tweets. 906 following. 87,456 followers. On 14 September 2013 this tweet was found to have 118 retweets.

Kim Kardashian's tweet, if any, was not found on 14 September 2013. Rob Delaney used this same joke format earlier here. Delaney's tweet had 455 retweets on 14 September 2013.

Twitter bio and stats on 14 September 2013 for Kim Kardashian @KimKardashian - Location: where I'm meant to be... · kimkardashian.celebuzz.com. 16,020 tweets. 145 following. 18,473,743 followers.

Instead of worrying about providing health care to everyone, we should just invent poor people that don't get sick.

28 November 2011 Clarke Kant @clarkekant [^125.66] https://twitter.com/#!/clarkekant/status/141339298308956163 Bio and stats on 18 November 2012: I'm all for saving the world, just not necessarily the people. Now available on http://Witstream.com ! Location: America-ish · http://favstar.fm/users/clarkekant - 9,997 tweets. 776 following. 29,442 followers.

That awkward moment when you realize that Kim Kardashian's failed marriage could've paid your college tuition for 2,833 years...

31 October 2011 Glen Coco @OhWowThatsAwk [^125.67] https://twitter.com/#!/OhWowThatsAwk/status/131195934158761984 Twitter bio and stats on 14 September 2013: Making your life better, one tweet at a time. ask.fm/OhWowThatsAwk - 4,216 tweets. 226 following. 96,794 followers.

Tweeted on the day that Kim Kardashian filed papers to end her first marriage after 72 days. Ms. Kardashian employed succès de scandale to achieve and maintain her celebrity status. Succès de scandale means "success through scandal" and is found only in English. The French equivalent is succès par médisance.

I'm so poor I can't even pay for my own consequences.

11 January 2012 Sam @samalmightysam [^125.68] https://twitter.com/#!/samalmightysam/status/157317982106816513 His bio and stats on 11 December 2012: Comedian, Writer, Rocket Scientist. http://favstar.fm/users/samalmightysam - 956 tweets. 51,434 following. 62,212 followers.

I'll never be rich until I get over this whole fear of prison thing

28 May 2011 ThisBitchRightHere ‏@disastrous007 [^125.69] https://twitter.com/#!/disastrous007/status/74716185576484864 Her Twitter bio and stats on 21 April 2013: Ladies, dont go after ugly rich men. Make your own money so you can fuck hot, poor guys. Location: Pound Town · http://favstar.fm/users/disastrous007 - 5,734 tweets. 652 following. 10,061 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 6 August 2013: Ladies, dont go after ugly rich men. Make your own money so you can fuck hot, poor guys. #NSFW. Location: Pound Town · http://favstar.fm/users/disastrous007 - 5,872 tweets. 643 following. 10,053 followers. Her Twitter ID (with an 'e') was @disasterous007 through at least 18 February 2011.

Give a man a gun he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank he can rob the world.

29 November 2011 Craving @calluptome [^125.70] https://twitter.com/#!/calluptome/status/141695908969578496 Her bio and stats on 19 March 2013: The brain is the sexiest organ. @galiamango is my twitter wifey...she is the goodness to my badass. Location: in yo head. · http://favstar.fm/users/calluptome - 25,902 tweets. 1,925 following. 7,233 followers.

This tweet was found through @calluptome above. However, research published on Kottke.org found that the first instance of this tweet appeared one day earlier in a @reply by @Bonoboism. Kottke's research also found unattributed appropriations by @ilegal, @MrsSelfDestrukt, @owenderby, @sickipediabot, @HipstaGangsta, @ladydebidebz, @tickly, and @yourrhighness_.

Kottke's research was posted on 1 December 2011 as: "Give a man a bank and he can rob the world,"  http://kottke.org/11/12/give-a-man-a-bank-and-he-can-rob-the-world

kottke.org @kottke [^125.71] Twitter bio and stats on 19 March 2013: Officially verified Twitter account of kottke.org, the home of fine hypertext products. Location: New York, NY · http://www.kottke.org - 5,055 tweets. 72 following. 30,080 followers.

First known instance of the tweet:

@TheRealRoseanne You know what they say, give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world

28 November 2011 Bonoboism ‏@Bonoboism [^125.72] https://twitter.com/Bonoboism/status/141266669241769984 Twitter bio and stats on 19 March 2013: Bonoboism is a spiritual doctrine based on the social behavior of the bonobo--matriarchy, liberal sexual behavior, egalitarianism, some vegetarianism, pacifism. Location: Houston. 5,298 tweets. 1,955 following. 770 followers.

:P:P:P **Teacher - "Where is the CAPITAL of Pakistan ?" Student - "In Swiss banks!"**

31 August 2011 Muhammad Faizan @BeingPakistani - https://twitter.com/#!/BeingPakistani/status/108854553092435968 Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 15 September 2013: Muhammad Faizan @Albela_Raahi [^125.73] Always looking at life, and try my best to figure out challenges, obstacles and stupid conundrums. tweets range from Sports to CA. I always shoot from the hip ! Location: Karachi,Pakistan · facebook.com/Faizan.BeingPakistani - 594 tweets. 796 following. 131 followers. On 15 September 2013, this tweet was found to have received just one retweet and one star, both from the same person.

PPP stands for the Pakistan People's Party, which held the presidency and prime ministership of Pakistan at the time. "Mr. ten percent" was the nickname of the country's president and PPP supremo.

In Great Britain during the during the time of King George III and the American revolution, corruption was not a side venture, shut off from the process of governing. Instead, corruption was integral to how government functioned. George III presents an example that is extreme but not always too far removed from the positions enjoyed by the ruling parties across South Asia since 1947. It can be impossible to do business in those countries without contributing to and thereby perpetuating corrupt practices, the costs for which are passed on to the economy as a whole. For many businesses, including informal ones, corruption often comes in the form of thinly veiled extortion attempts, backed by the full power of the state.

@swarraj **Corruption is not only about money ... it's [a] thought process ...!!!**

8 April 2011 Nikhil Dave @nikhildave86 [^125.74] https://twitter.com/#!/nikhildave86/status/56091743401156609 [a] replaced 'an' above. His bio and stats on 26 March 2013: Normal Human Living a Social Life..! Running an NGO named Mrityunjai Bharat Trust. Working for Youth Policy in Madhya Pradesh.My Tweets are my personal view. http://www.mrityunjaibharat.in - 1,135 tweets. 302 following. 182 followers. His most recent tweet on 26 March 2013 was dated 29 July 2012, exclusive of bot-generated tweets.

Swarna Rajagopalan ‏@swarraj [^125.75] bio and stats on 16 November 2012: Political scientist by training, writer, analyst, freelance researcher, highly educated factotum, sometimes teacher, building a thinktank called Prajnya. Location: India · http://www.swarnar.com - 24,203 tweets. 676 following. 2,110 followers. Swarna Rajagopalan retweeted Nikhil Dave's tweet into her timeline, which is how it was found.

" **The poor have sometimes objected to being governed badly; the rich have always objected to being governed at all**." - **G.K. Chesteron**

23 September 2010 Nancy Friedman @Fritinancy [^125.76] on Twitter. URL lost. Bio and stats on 16 January 2013: Name and tagline developer, @VisualThesaurus columnist, bay swimmer, California native, skeptic. Lover of fashion, maps, brand lore, high/low culture. Location: San Francisco Bay Area · wordworking.com - 25,342 tweets. 3,523 following. 4,998 followers.

G.K. Chesterton – spelled with two Ts, was an English writer, 1874-1936. The first of his two quotes below is from The Flying Inn, 1914, chapter 15. The second is from The Scandal of Father Brown, 1935:

The rich are the scum of the earth in every country.

It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem.

Small people commit victimless crimes. Big people commit culpritless crimes.

12 September 2011 Sidin Vadukut @sidin [^125.77] https://twitter.com/#!/sidin/status/113154307150450688 His Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 15 September 2013: Ozilin Mesutukut @sidin - Handyman at Mint. Author of The Dork Trilogy. Cricinfo Page 2-ist. Cubiclenama-ist. Quartz-ist. Podcaster. http://s-id.in/SidCast RTs are not endorphins. Location: London, United Kingdom · whatay.com. 71,036 tweets. 1,932 following. 66,134 followers.

People actually believed the judicial system is fair? That the constitution matters?

NEWSFLASH: To the state, you're just paperwork.

21 September 2011 bllix ‏@bllix [^125.78] https://twitter.com/#!/bllix/status/116723677592158208 Her bio and stats on 30 October 2012: Electronic music producer/knob-twiddler, MYLF, Multilingual programmer, Attorney at LOL, Thug 4 Life, Laundromancer, METAL AS FVCK. Damn, Gina. Location: Portland, OR. · http://bllix.tumblr.com - 12,746 tweets. 501 following. 4,516 followers.

Tweeted on the day that Georgia inmate Troy Davis was pronounced dead by lethal injection.

• • • • •

### Bread and circuses

_Bread and circuses_ refers to the practice of providing free food and the staging of public spectacles to distract the populace from inequality and injustice. It became popular in the Roman Republic, when it was paid for by politicians seeking votes. Then during the Roman Empire, the government sponsored bread giveaways and circuses to discourage public dissent. It has been practiced widely since then. In Russian it is called _bread and spectacle_ , хлеб и зрелища.

The Roman Empire and the modern United States both experienced export-import trade imbalances. In both systems, as imported goods become cheaper, work moves offshore, leaving less demand for labor domestically. Labor-force participation slumps and the entertainment industry increasingly dominates society.

In ancient Rome, free time was consumed by circuses, chariot races, public executions and gladiators. In modern times, computer games and the Internet occupy people's attention, along with the most passive of all entertainment forms – television.

Source of ideas in the three paragraphs above: "The Danger of Living on Bread and Circuses: Alice Schroeder," by Alice Schroeder on Bloomberg News, 2 June 2011. http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-06-02/the-danger-of-living-on-bread-and-circuses-alice-schroeder.html

Alice Schroeder @aliceschroeder [^125.79] Twitter bio and stats on 4 January 2013: aliceschroeder.com 62 tweets. 24 following. 473 followers. Her bio remained the same on 15 September 2013 but with these stats: 68 tweets. 89 following. 546 followers.

Bloomberg News bio and stats on Twitter on 4 January 2013: @BloombergNews [^125.80] Bloomberg News is the first word in business and finance. Location: New York and the World · http://www.bloomberg.com - 25,490 tweets. 504 following. 757,211 followers.

From Alice Shroeder above:

When entertainment dominates a society, it changes more than the culture; it also reshapes the economy.

Public entertainment can be a method of social control, not through physical means but normative ones – by creating or reinforcing certain norms, expectations and social permissions. For example, the movie Zero Dark Thirty presented torture as if it had produced information that enabled the CIA to discover where Osama Bin Laden was hiding in Pakistan. The movie was geared toward North American viewers. It supported the norm that torture and secret detention facilities were acceptable, necessary and effective in the Global War on Terrorism, launched by US President George W. Bush in the aftermath of 911.

The CIA's post-911 torture practices, as researched by the US Senate Select Committee on Intelligence, were found to have not provided information that led to the discovery of Bin Laden. The committee found torture to be indiscriminate and routinely practiced on captives who were already cooperating, and on those who had been captured in error. The report concluded that the CIA understated the brutality of its torture practices and over-stated the results.

Source: "Committee Study of the Central Intelligence Agency's Detention and Interrogation Program," Senate Select Committee on Intelligence, unclassified version released on 9 December 2014, 500 pages,  http://www.intelligence.senate.gov/study2014/executive-summary.pdf

Cited above: Zero Dark Thirty, directed by Kathryn Bigelow. Produced by Kathryn Bigelow, Mark Boal and Megan Ellison. Written by Mark Boal. Released by Columbia Pictures in the US, Alliance Films in Canada, Icon Productions in Australia, GAGA in Japan, and by Universal Pictures elsewhere outside North America. Released on 19 December 2012.

• • • • •

They call my name on Price is Right. I run down the aisle high-fivin strangers. My rolls bounce. I win a jet ski. Every1 wants 2 fuck me now

16 April 2012 Amelia Erfart ‏@Qu4rtKn33 [^125.81] https://twitter.com/#!/Qu4rtKn33/status/191914440214577153 Her bio and stats on 9 October 2013: Michigan. 8,343 tweets. 339 following. 10,637 followers.

In The Price Is Right television game show, contestants compete by guessing the prices of various items of merchandise. Twitter bio and stats on 10 October 2013 for The Price Is Right @PriceIsRight - Welcome to the OFFICIAL #PriceIsRight Twitter! Tune in weekdays on @CBS & watch The Price is Right full episodes 24/7 on http://CBS.com ! cbs.com/shows/the_price_is_right/ - 2,386 tweets. 379 following. 38,158 followers.

_The Price Is Right_ television show provides a modern example of bread and circuses. The show has religious overtones. Members of the studio audience are selected and elevated on high, to be blessed with gifts.

The irony of a black person winning a jetski on The Price is Right is not lost on me.

16 October 2012 Corleown ‏@Corleown [^125.82] https://twitter.com/Corleown/status/258246391044911104 His bio and stats on 5 November 2012: I should probably change my bio since I manscaped. Full disclosure: my last bio had the word waginas in it. You shouldn't follow me. Location: Drunk in Michigan. http://favstar.fm/users/corleown - 2,543 tweets. 683 following. 897 followers.

In October 2012, this tweet's author was thought to be black, thanks to a low-light, poor-contrast profile photo. A year later, an updated display photo showed that this is unlikely to be the case. This changes the tweet's significance. There is a stereotype that fewer black Americans than whites can swim. This tweet can be seen as playing off that stereotype, as if someone winning a jetski would not know how to swim.

The original attraction of this tweet was that fewer blacks than whites could afford to buy and maintain a jetski. The tweet was printed out and passed around in a late-night Seattle coffee shop.

"Should it be left in?"

"Yes – it'll make people think," said NOmad Red Owl [^125.83], October 2013, after describing how some white people are suprised to find that he, as a black man, can swim.

Consumerism as a form of social control is a central topic in: _One-dimensional Man: studies in ideology of advanced industrial society_ , by Herbert Marcuse, Beacon, 1964. Marcuse also supported the idea that entertainment can function as a form of social control. Marcuse joined the Institute for Social Research in Frankfurt Germany in 1932. Together with most of his colleagues, he was forced to flee the country early the following year, shifting first to Geneva and then to the United States, where he worked for the predecessor organization to the US Central Intelligence Agency.

Herbert Marcuse said that consumerism substitutes for social connections. Drawing the working class into consumer culture helps stabilize the incumbent political-economic system, he said. Marcuse argued for a _Great Refusal_ of consumerism, its environmental impacts, and its promotion of _false needs_.

• • • • •

Tell Lie Vision.

10 February 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^125.84] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/300530958875115521 Her bio and stats on 21 February 2013: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 13,087 tweets. 1,978 following. 2,000 followers.

We should pay teachers more and professional athletes less, because kids don't look up to poor people.

21 December 2011 Jenny Johnson @JennyJohnsonHi5 [^125.85] https://twitter.com/#!/JennyJohnsonHi5/status/149579725084426240 Tweeted again on 12 June 2012: https://twitter.com/jennyjohnsonhi5/status/212624400434987009 Twitter bio and stats on 21 July 2013: Writer, wife, asshole and owner of 2 dogs. Follow me on Instagram: jennyjohnsonhi5. Location: Houston, Texas · favstar.fm/users/JennyJohnsonHi5 - 6,787 tweets. 820 following. 412,563 followers.

When you have nothing, you pretend that everything is something.

4 September 2011 Kay Morgan @KayM77 [^125.86] https://twitter.com/#!/KayM77/status/110266591668748288 Her bio and stats on 14 March 2013: I'm on Twitter. 18,872 tweets. 248 following. 1,615 followers. Welsh.

I NEED TO PUKE, GIVE ME YOUR GUCCI BACKPACK

30 September 2011 LOUD bllix @loudbllix - https://twitter.com/#!/loudbllix/status/119688931963969537 Her bio and stats on 9 February 2013: HI, I'M @bllix / @tinybllix. THIS IS MY HANDICAPSLOCK-ACCESSIBLE ACCOUNT FOR THE LETTERCASE-IMPAIRED, OR PEOPLE WHO NEED LOUD TWEETS. Location: PORTLAND, OR. · http://BLLIX.TUMBLR.COM - 272 tweets. 81 following. 495 followers. The same author posts as @bllix [^125.87], @tinybllix, @loudbllix and @bllixodus.

When one door closes another door opens. This cars a piece of shit..

12 August 2012 Jack Koff ‏@TheToxicWaster [^125.88] https://twitter.com/TheToxicWaster/status/234708465942142976 Bio and stats on 6 September 2012: Professional bullshitter. Location: England United Kingdom. 153 tweets. 14,408 following. 13,498 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 12 September 2013: Professional bullshitter. Location: England United Kingdom. 73 tweets. 30,304 following. 29,290 followers. On 12 September 2013 this tweet was found to have been deleted.

I need to have a fixed income.

This one is broken.

17 January 2011 @HughesYordadi [^125.89] https://twitter.com/#!/HughesYordadi/status/27055623015235585 No Twitter account with this ID found on 15 September 2013.

Still just a member of the lowerarchy.

23 October 2010 Alec Sulkin ‏@thesulk [^125.90] https://twitter.com/#!/thesulk/status/28518567345 His bio and stats on 22 November 2012: Breaker of Swift Mustache Hairs. Location: Los Angeles. 6,748 tweets. 836 following. 481,460 followers.

Hello paycheck!

Goodbye, paycheck.

9 December 2011 BedheadBunny @BedheadBunny [^125.91] https://twitter.com/#!/BedheadBunny/status/145135115280973824 Her bio and stats on 22 March 2013: I'm a shy and delicate flower, bitches. Location: North Carolina · http://favstar.fm/users/BedheadBunny - 7,030 tweets. 2,409 following. 3,521 followers.

I have an earning disability.

9 June 2011 Neal Brennan @nealbrennan [^125.92] https://twitter.com/#!/nealbrennan/status/78990069024821249 The bio and stats of his verified account on 9 March 2013: Co-creator of Chappelle's Show and less popular things. Comedian. Hero. Victim. Free stand-up download. http://www.hulkshare.com/NealBFree Location: LA/NY · nealbrennan.com - 4,661 tweets. 502 following. 208,009 followers. Instead of a learning disability.

I can't even afford to pay lip service anymore.

20 December 2011 Shari Vanderwerf @shariv67 [^125.93] https://twitter.com/#!/shariv67/status/149355736403685378 Her bio and stats on 27 October 2012: My work has appeared on Comedy Central, Cartoon Network, VH1, E!, film festivals and major publications. Comedian & Writer · http://www.sharivanderwerf.com - 11,392 tweets. 3,551 following. 24,593 followers.

People who can afford things:

ok we get it.

5 June 2012 Mae ‏@mzeld [^125.94] https://twitter.com/mzeld/status/210175606942478337 Her bio and stats on 12 November 2012: LET'S DO TWEETS OFF EACH OTHER'S BUTTS http://www.internet.com - 16,846 tweets. 698 following. 21,805 followers.

Potential items in the running for me to write my rent check with: broken golf pencil, eyeliner, other eyeliner.

5 February 2012 Whiskey Tits @SeeEllVee [^125.95] https://twitter.com/#!/SeeEllVee/status/166380402628497409 Her bio and stats on 26 March 2013: I'm right on top of that, Rose! http://favstar.fm/users/SeeEllVee/recent - 9,405 tweets. 1,678 following. 3,608 followers. There are two lowercase Ls in @SeeEllVee.

I'm three bad moves away from being a hobo.

9 February 2012 P.G.O.A.T. ‏@joevelouria - https://twitter.com/joevelouria/status/167843059810320385 His screen name, ID, bio and stats on 4 February 2013: Brosef Stalin @josephesque [^125.96] Clawhammering your heart strings, daily. Editor-in-Chief. Writerly. Madly inlove with @Sondeera. Location: Santa Ana, California · http://josephblair.wordpress.com - 19,202 tweets. 612 following. 1,545 followers.

Lumpen dysphoria.

19 October 2012 David Kasper, Esq. ‏@PereLebrun [^125.97] https://twitter.com/PereLebrun/status/259297099752017921

Bio and stats on 21 October 2012: This number has not been recognized. http://perelebrun.blogspot.com/ - 17,998 tweets. 169 following. 196 followers.

_dysphoria_ = feeling ill at ease, anxious, dissatisfied and restless.

I won't judge you until I see your bank account.

17 November 2011 AspersionCast @Aspersioncast [^125.98] https://twitter.com/#!/Aspersioncast/status/137321958244220928 His bio and stats on 21 November 2012: It's always a pleasure to meet someone with no sense of humour, then when I fuck with their head, it's unbelievably satisfying. Location: Perth Australia. · http://favstar.fm/users/AspersionCast/recent - 18,059 tweets. 17,901 following. 22,264 followers.

My bank account is more like a countdown to homelessness.

26 August 2011 Artur Bagyants @Bagyants [^125.99] https://twitter.com/#!/Bagyants/status/107152560711925761 His bio and stats on 23 November 2012: Some people grunt at the gym; I scream at the top of my lungs THEY KILLED MY FAMILY as I lift weights. Location: Kansas · http://favstar.fm/users/Bagyants - 486 tweets. 232 following. 6,086 followers.

BF: You don't even know what 'Baroque' means, do you?

Me: Sure I do. It's when you have no Monet

28 July 2009 Alex @blankslate [^125.100] http://twitter.com/blankslate/status/2903231244 Twitter bio and stats on 4 July 2013: You think you saw me licking the salt out of the inside of a bag of potato chips? Okay, that might have been me. Location: Great White North. 4,090 tweets. 681 following. 3,443 followers.

Me: I'm too old for you.

Her: No, age is just a number. I don't care about numbers.

Me: I'm too poor for you.

Her: How poor?

20 January 2012 Rock God @redpawn3 [^125.101] https://twitter.com/#!/redpawn3/status/160249620381970433 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Solitary Dad, with my kids 5/6 out of 14 days. Location: Backstage · http://favstar.fm/users/redpawn3 - 58,559 tweets. 3,037 following. 5,069 followers.

The higher the income, the more likely an American man will cheat on his wife.

6 January 2012 What The Fuck Facts @WTFuckFacts [^125.102] https://twitter.com/#!/WTFuckFacts/status/155393208174645251 Twitter bio and stats on 7 June 2013: Tweeting facts that some of you don't care about. Location: All Around The World. 261 tweets. 16 following. 1,617 followers.

Money shades are to women what beer goggles are to men.

1 March 2012 Lushy Warpole ‏@ConfusedLush [^125.103] https://twitter.com/#!/ConfusedLush/status/175360868257771520 Account was taken down and a new one appeared on 14 February 2013 with this screen name, ID, biography and stats on 25 February 2013: Beans @confusedlush My favorite beer is beer. Location: Canada. 4 tweets. 12 following. 7 followers. Is the new account from the old author?

Men who try to impress women with fancy cars are targeting a demographic that mostly can't spot the difference between a BMW and a Hyundai.

20 January 2012 Gwen Calvo @gwencalvo [^125.104] https://twitter.com/#!/gwencalvo/status/159815497788035072 Stats on 14 November 2012: 27,975 tweets. 128 following. 2,271 followers.

Why am I in the working class?

I specifically requested the sleeping class.

18 November 2010 donni @donni [^125.105] https://twitter.com/#!/donni/status/5352132370767872 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Comedy sand wedge. Writer, performer, fledgling opener, packet submitter. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Sea cows probably never see cows. Location: Chicago City Of Wind · http://qr.net/donni - 9,640 tweets. 839 following. 25,773 followers.

**Time Magazine did a poll asking Americans if they thought they were a part of the 1%, 19% answered yes**.

#Delusionsofgrandeur

28 November 2011 Aurash Khawarzad @AurashKhawarzad [^125.106] https://twitter.com/#!/AurashKhawarzad/status/141254325556097025 He was in Brooklyn, NY. No Twitter account with this ID found on 15 September 2013.

**Those 'at the top'** _never_ **feel like they are. There's always someone else they're scared of too.**

17 October 2012 Alain de Botton ‏@alaindebotton [^125.107] https://twitter.com/alaindebotton/status/258792321842282497 Stats: 475 tweets. 4,284 following. 271,917 followers. His bio and stats on 15 January 2013: Writer; most recently of 'Religion for Atheists'. Location: London · http://tinyurl.com/chcbro9 - 555 tweets. 4,420 following. 308,786 followers. Italics added.

I'd rather reek of desperation than entitlement.

21 February 2012 kdn ‏@kdn13 [^125.108] https://twitter.com/#!/kdn13/status/172161334329348096 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: I have a weakness for split infinitives. Location: Bay Area, CA. 4,724 tweets. 247 following. 19,916 followers.

Why write business class & economy class?

You shameless capitalists don't have to be polite.

Just write rich & poor.

We'll understand better

29 May 2012 taslima nasreen ‏@taslimanasreen [^125.109] https://twitter.com/taslimanasreen/status/207548604850774018 Her bio and stats on 26 November 2012: Writer, Secular Humanist, Feminist, Physician. Location: Everywhere · http://freethoughtblogs.com/taslima/ - 21,418 tweets. 363 following. 49,055 followers. Tweeted during a trip to Germany.

US airways category below first class has six adjectives like "chairman" & "select" but I bet in 1st class they hear em & think "new money"

10 December 2012 Kelsey D Atherton ‏@the_boy https://twitter.com/the_boy/status/278140837370667008 Bio: These tweets are drones. // High volume feed, mostly #NatSec, #Warkids, #BlogTarkin. RTs are conversations, not endorsements. Favs are variable. Cheers! Location: DC, Duke City or Crescent City · http://kelseydatherton.wordpress.com - 33,647 tweets. 743 following. 1,095 followers. He was flying into Baltimore, MD, at the time. On 22 December 2012 @the_boy was found to have become ‏@AthertonKD [^125.110], while retaining the screen name Kelsey D Atherton.

@the_boy **"wannabe new money"**

10 December 2012 Richard Mehlinger Jr ‏@rmehlinger [^125.111] https://twitter.com/rmehlinger/status/278183937275219969 Bio: Historian, engineer, writer, monarchist (House of Windsor), centrist, and devil's advocate. Views expressed are solely my own, and definitely not my father's. Location: Sunnyvale, CA · http://www.rmehlinger.com - 8,007 tweets. 367 following. 224 followers.

Even if you're the sharpest tool in the shed, you're still a tool.

10 December 2010 Sandra Enns-Arnell @SEAempire [^125.112] https://twitter.com/#!/SEAempire/status/13422564961419264 Her Twitter bio and stats on 15 September 2013: Writer. Director. Don't worry, I'm a professional. favstar.fm/users/SEAempire - 3,719 tweets. 1,014 following. 2,105 followers.

show me what you have so i know what you don't have.

11 July 2012 snarkarella ‏@snarkarella [^125.113] https://twitter.com/snarkarella/status/223130842397028352 Her bio and stats on 17 December 2012: i like snacking on ice cubes. 3,547 tweets. 389 following. 1,594 followers.

The future of American politics will center on the issue of widening inequality

:[Link]

4 October 2013 Robert Reich ‏@RBReich [^125.114] https://twitter.com/RBReich/status/386363622252761089 Twitter bio: Berkeley professor, former US Secretary of Labor. BEYOND OUTRAGE now in paperback. Movie INEQUALITY FOR ALL to be released September 27. Location: Berkeley, CA · robertreich.org. 2,312 tweets. 62 following. 159,799 followers.

The link in Robert Reich's tweet points to:

"De Blasio Focuses on Inequality as He Courts Business Elite," by Michael M. Grynbaum, The New York Times, 4 October 2013, http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/05/nyregion/with-focus-on-affordability-crisis-de-blasio-offers-his-vision-for-new-york.html Tweeted during Bill De Blasio's successful campaign to become the mayor of New York City.

Mike Grynbaum @grynbaum [^125.115] Twitter bio and stats on 4 October 2013: Reporter at The New York Times. I cover New York City politics. With occasional notes on subways, soccer & TV shows. New York, NY · http://topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/people/g/michael_m_grynbaum/index.html \- 6,008 tweets. 581 following. 4,991 followers.

The New York Times @nytimes [^125.116] Twitter bio and stats on 4 October 2013: Where the conversation begins. Follow for breaking news, special reports, http://NYTimes.com homepage links and RTs of our journalists. Location: New York City · nytimes.com. 115,907 tweets. 798 following. 9,676,466 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  126. Elizabeth Warren

Elizabeth Warren was a bankruptcy attorney whose work led to the establishment of the US Consumer Financial Protection Bureau in February 2011. The following quote is from a speech that Warren gave on why "taxing the rich" is not "class warfare." Taxation rates for the wealthy were an issue in the US presidential election of 2012, as the wealthier of the top two candidates paid a substantially lower rate of tax than the incumbent.

I hear all this, you know, "Well, this is class warfare, this is whatever."—No! There is nobody in this country who got rich on his own. Nobody.

You built a factory out there—good for you! But I want to be clear. You moved your goods to market on the roads the rest of us paid for. You hired workers the rest of us paid to educate. You were safe in your factory because of police forces and fire forces that the rest of us paid for. You didn't have to worry that marauding bands would come and seize everything at your factory, and hire someone to protect against this, because of the work the rest of us did.

Now look, you built a factory and it turned into something terrific, or a great idea—God bless. Keep a big hunk of it.

But part of the underlying social contract is you take a hunk of that and pay forward for the next kid who comes along.

Elizabeth Warren's quote was found in a blog post by Joe Schmitt @joeschmitt ^126.1] on 21 September 2011: [ http://joeschmitt.tumblr.com/post/10491755944/i-hear-all-this-you-know-well-this-is-class His Twitter bio and stats on 22 March 2013: the second T is silent. Location: Chicago · http://joeschmitt.tumblr.com/post/143209840/joeschmitt - 11,550 tweets. 2,367 following. 7,306 followers.

Related video:

Elizabeth Warren explains why taxing the rich isn't "class warfare." Video:

 http://boingboing.net/2011/09/23/elizabeth-warren-explains-why-taxing-the-rich-isnt-class-warfare.html

23 September 2011 @aem76us on Twitter, citing: @BoingBoing. URL lost.

Elizabeth Warren was elected to the United States Senate in November 2012.

Twitter bio and stats on 17 February 2013 of Elizabeth Warren @SenWarren [^126.2 for the statement above and ^126.3 for the video] Official twitter account of Senator Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts. warren.senate.gov - 39 tweets. 226 following. 7,995 followers. Her older account's bio and stats on 17 February 2013: Elizabeth Warren @elizabethforma - United States Senator from Massachusetts. Location: Massachusetts · http://ElizabethWarren.com/ - 991 tweets. 297 following. 77,552 followers. Her older account was in use in February 2013 to communicate with constituents in Massachusetts.

Boing Boing @BoingBoing [^126.4] Twitter bio and stats on 10 October 2013: Official http://BoingBoing.net feed. Links to our blog posts, videos, and features, plus RTs + extras from our editors. Directory of Wonderful Things · boingboing.net. 59,959 tweets. 79 following. 173,043 followers.

Related tweet:

A policy or proposal is only class warfare if it doesn't benefit the rich.

11 October 2013 Josh ‏@angleofattack [^126.5] https://twitter.com/angleofattack/status/388774457210175488 Bio: Extremely well cultured. My father was a petri dish. Location: Medford, MA · angleofattack.tumblr.com - 4,623 tweets. 503 following. 1,559 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  127. Reducing inequality helps everyone

Crosscut.com reports on news and issues in the Pacific Northwest. Here Peter Ladner writes about why reducing inequality is important. Peter Ladner's quotes appeared in an article he wrote for Crosscut about poverty in Vancouver, BC. Why, Ladner asks, is reducing inequality important?

It matters because income disparity turns out to be a leading indicator of a society's well-being, more than average income. When it's out of whack, the vast majority of people, including the financially well-off, suffer. Above a basic level of economic prosperity already achieved in Canada and the U.S., there is no relationship between average income and social well-being, whereas there is a strong relationship between levels of inequality and social well-being.

Nobody proves this more potently than British writers Richard Wilkinson and Kate Pickett of Equalitytrust. Their decades of research make an irresistible argument that most people in any developed country would be better off not by raising GDP, but by reducing the gap between the top and bottom income earners, even with the same level of overall GDP. "Greater equality improves health and life expectancy and dramatically reduces the frequency of a wide range of social problems including violence, incarceration, illiteracy, mental illness, drug addiction and obesity," they write.

...It isn't just mental illness that is related to inequality. In more equal societies like the Nordic countries and Japan, people are more likely to trust each other, live longer, and their children are more likely to stay in school. People in more equal societies are less likely to be obese, suffer from mental illness, take illegal drugs, or commit murder. "More equal societies are almost always healthier, happier, and more cohesive," says Wilkinson...

Ironically, social mobility, the measure most often celebrated as an available path to prosperity in countries with less equality, is lowest in unequal countries, and highest in the more equal countries. "If you want to pursue the American dream," says Wilkinson, "go to Norway."

" **Many people worry about what has gone wrong with modern societies without recognising how many of the problems originate in the effects of low social status and status competition which are exacerbated by greater inequality," he says.**

The two quotes above are from: "Glittering Vancouver is now the poverty capital of Canada," by Peter Ladner, Crosscut, 3 October 2011,  http://crosscut.com/2011/10/03/vancouver/21365/Glittering-Vancouver-is-now-the-poverty-capital-of-Canada/ Bolding added above.

Peter Ladner @pladner ^127.1] Twitter bio and stats on 8 September 2012: Author, The Urban Food Revolution: Changing the Way We Feed Cities; recovered politician; columnist and co-founder at Business in Vancouver @bizinvancouver. Location: Vancouver · [http://urbanfoodrevolution.wordpress.com/ \- 424 tweets. 230 following. 1,565 followers.

Crosscut @Crosscut [^127.2] Twitter bio and stats on 10 October 2013: Seattle daily local news in the public interest. Non-profit journalism covering politics, arts, food, sports, neighborhoods. Location: Seattle, WA · crosscut.com. 5,283 tweets. 450 following. 7,615 followers.

The Equality Trust @equalitytrust [^127.3] Twitter bio and stats on 23 February 2014: The Equality Trust is an independent, evidence based campaign working to reduce income inequality in order to improve the quality of life in the UK. equalitytrust.org.uk - 2,773 tweets. 5,276 following. 10,122 followers.

EqualityTrustCanada @EqualityTrustCA - Twitter bio and stats on 23 February 2014: The Equality Trust (Canada) is a group affiliated with The Equality Trust UK (see http://equalitytrust.org.uk ). We promote the reduction of income inequality. Location: Canada · equalitytrust.ca – 265 tweets. 50 following. 58 followers.

• • • • •

A society in which it's not possible to discuss inequality is already a kleptocracy. It just doesn't know it yet.

5 November 2012 umair haque ‏@umairh [^127.4] https://twitter.com/umairh/status/265557171444543488 His bio: author, economist, slayer of zombies. Location: london/east coast · http://blogs.harvardbusiness.org/haque - 46,458 tweets. 965 following. 195,086 followers.

Kleptocracies exist "to increase the personal wealth and political power of its officials and the ruling class at the expense of the wider population, often without pretense of honest service."

Source of material within quotation marks above: "Kleptocracy," Wikipedia, @Wikipedia [^127.5] as it appeared on 18 September 2013, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kleptocracy. Twitter bio and stats on 18 September 2013 for Wikipedia @Wikipedia - Wikipedia's official Twitter account! wikipedia.org. 2,072 tweets. 433 following. 216,071 followers.

"A developed country is not a place where the Poor have cars. It's where the rich use public transportation" ~ Mayor of Bogota

18 September 2012 Akhter Fahmi ‏@akhtersfahmi [^127.6] https://twitter.com/akhtersfahmi/status/248034572892258304 His bio: Musician, Corporate Executive, Travel Enthusiast, Foodie, Bookworm. Location: Gulshan, Dhaka. 1,300 tweets. 1,607 following. 400 followers.

Dear World,

Give all of my unemployed friends a job they would love,

signed Jacob.

26 October 2010 Jacob Mendenhall ‏@JMendenhall [^127.7] https://twitter.com/jmendenhall/status/28818294822 Location: Seattle. Stats on 14 August 2012: 8,462 tweets. 520 following. 281 followers. His bio and stats on 14 February 2013: Sometimes, when I am drunk, I think about running for US Senate. Location: ÜT: 47.71948,-122.31974 · http://facebook.com/jmendenhall - 9,601 tweets. 566 following. 296 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  128. Sexual politics

How about you just leave me alone. Stop staring.

26 May 2012 rachel ‏@rachelincolour [^128.1] https://twitter.com/rachelincolour/status/206474660890673152 No Twitter bio on 18 September 2013, only these stats: 4,757 tweets.788 following. 721 followers.

Dunno if all women are like this, but I most like being complimented on attributes about me that are human, not female.

11 June 2012 ShoutingGoddess ‏@ShoutingGoddess [^128.2] https://twitter.com/ShoutingGoddess/status/212240728770883584 - 9,239 followers. Her bio and stats on 5 November 2012: Don't read this shit. Go read a book. 101,615 tweets. 2,305 following. 16,629 followers.

being an outspoken sikh feminist in masculinist spaces often feels like you're a butterfly on display surrounded by hawks.

@SeanEPanjab

10 July 2012 anthro-apologist ‏@kitabikeeri [^128.3] https://twitter.com/kitabikeeri/status/222793977039028225 Her bio and stats on stats on 17 February 2013, by which time her account had become locked: canadian phd candidate in anthropology, gender and religious studies scholar based in delhi. 'true democracy means living the loss of the world every day.' –md Location: new delhi via vancouver. ✈ \- 5,337 tweets. 237 following. 703 followers.

If you're the type of man to be threatened by a woman's intelligence, you probably should be.

24 March 2013 Just Lee ‏@Just_Lee_ [^128.4] https://twitter.com/Just_Lee_/status/315746640210309120 Her bio: I have Twitter Tourette Syndrome. Its a real thing. And its incurable. So fuck it. http://favstar.fm/users/just_lee_ - 29,695 tweets. 1,322 following. 15,691 followers. Her bio and stats on 15 April 2014: Lets not make this personal. 781 tweets. 487 following. 2,306 followers.

In praise of difficult women.

23 November 2012 Mona Eltahawy ‏@monaeltahawy [^128.5] https://twitter.com/monaeltahawy/status/272205910934433792 Her bio: Columnist and public speaker on Arab and Muslim issues www.monaeltahawy.com – Location: The World · http://www.monaeltahawy.com/blog - 146,753 tweets. 885 following. 165,998 followers.

Mona Eltahawy is the author of: Headscarves and Hymens: Why the Middle East Needs a Sexual Revolution, Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 21 April 2015.

In her tweet above, Mona Eltahawy quotes the subtitle of the book: Bitch, In Praise of Difficult Women, by Elizabeth Wurtzel, New York, Doubleday, 1998.

Twitter bio and stats on 19 March 2013 for Elizabeth Wurtzel @LizzieWurtzel [^128.6] author etc. Location: New York, New York · http://www.amazon.com/Elizabeth-Wurtzel/e/B000AP70UI/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1349968368&sr=1-2-ent \- 5,387 tweets. 209 following. 10,105 followers. The URL in her bio points to her author page on Amazon.com, and which on 19 March 2013 began with this biographical summary: "Elizabeth Lee Wurtzel (born July 31, 1967) is an American writer and journalist, known for her work in the confessional memoir genre. She has a B.A. from Harvard College and a J.D. from Yale Law School." Italics added.

" **A liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after."--Gloria Steinem**

19 February 2011 taslima nasreen @taslimanasreen [^128.7] https://twitter.com/#!/taslimanasreen/status/39209806975737856 Her bio and stats on 26 November 2012: Writer, Secular Humanist, Feminist, Physician. Location: Everywhere · http://freethoughtblogs.com/taslima/ - 21,418 tweets. 363 following. 49,055 followers.

Twitter bio and stats on 26 February 2013 of Gloria Steinem @GloriaSteinem [^128.8] Gloria Steinem, author and feminist activist. http://www.gloriasteinem.com/ New York, NY. 58 tweets. 83 following. 49,995 followers.

Refers to a job after marriage. Women in South Asia are often discouraged by their families from working after marriage.

To every bitter man who was his wife's bitch: your lousy taste in women doesn't make the patriarchal order less obvious on a macro-level.

29 December 2011 Ms. Spalanzani @rejecter [^128.9] https://twitter.com/#!/rejecter/status/152393622690607104 Her bio and stats on 19 December 2012: Commie hoochie trollop. Subterfugitive. 17,014 tweets. 267 following. 4,547 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 24 September 2013: She can read, she can read, she can read, she's bad. Location: Västerås. 19,573 tweets. 300 following. 4,400 followers.

Great news: Sexism doesn't exist!

I just imagined it because I'm crazy because I'm a woman.

16 April 2012 Kristy Grant ‏@kristygee [^128.10] https://twitter.com/kristygee/status/191993411761483777 Her bio and stats on 13 March 2013: Writer for Anger Management. I'm shy! (giggles & runs behind curtain to hide; falls out window to death). Location: Los Angeles · http://vimeo.com/13219328 \- 1,442 tweets. 373 following. 23,523 followers.

'' **The problem is not that I see sexism everywhere. The problem is that you don't.** ''

17 November 2011 taslima nasreen @taslimanasreen [^128.11] https://twitter.com/#!/taslimanasreen/status/137230418830311424 Her bio and stats on 26 November 2012: Writer, Secular Humanist, Feminist, Physician. Location: Everywhere · http://freethoughtblogs.com/taslima/ - 21,418 tweets. 363 following. 49,055 followers.

• • • • •

The office is to us what the cloister was to medieval christianity: a nominally chaste arena with an unrivalled capacity to excite desire.

19 February 2010 Alain de Botton @alaindebotton [^128.12] http://twitter.com/alaindebotton/status/9342187952 His bio and stats on 15 January 2013: Writer; most recently of 'Religion for Atheists'. Location: London · http://tinyurl.com/chcbro9 - 555 tweets. 4,420 following. 308,786 followers.

My friend gave me flowers. Better feed these pansies down the garbage disposal before my work crush thinks I have a boyfriend.

6 April 2012 cassie ‏@DollyHumbert [^128.13] https://twitter.com/#!/DollyHumbert/status/188434625809485824 Her Twitter bio and stats on 18 September 2013: Nothing, right off the bat. Location: Seattle. 2,975 tweets. 296 following. 524 followers.

In many workplaces it is considered unethical for someone to become romantically involved with their supervisor or with someone to whom their supervisor reports, unless one of the individuals changes jobs. Public displays of affection (PDA) between colleagues (whether dating or not) may also be discouraged because this can make others feel uncomfortable or distracted.

Some workplaces have blanket policies that bar any and all employees from dating each other. Such rules are unenforceable and self-destructive for large organizations. People-friendly alternatives accept the reality of human nature and seek to minimize disruptions and distractions that can arise in dynamic, vibrant workforces. Alternatives include bars on supervisor-subordinate relationships, sexual harassment, and excessive PDA.

Don't you hate it when you misread contempt as sexual tension?

14 August 2012 Butch huff ‏@Butchhuff [^128.14] https://twitter.com/Butchhuff/status/234980785147506690 His bio and stats the next day: Livin large in a world of small minds... Location: Ohio. 17,311 tweets. 1,528 following. 1,368 followers.

Just know that if I see cleavage, I stopped listening. -Signed all Men, teens, adolescents, toddlers and tykes. Probably the gay guys too.

31 July 2012 Zombie Gordo_Laughs ‏@Zombieionism [^128.15] https://twitter.com/Zombieionism/status/230386549357936640 - 1,132 followers. His Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 18 September 2013: Zomb E. Coyote @Zombieionism - Converting people one bite at a time. My tweets are my own. writer/gamer/idiot. Still gonna fuckin bite you. Location: B E H I N D Y O U !!! · favstar.fm/users/Zombieionism - 50,060 tweets. 9,575 following. 9,880 followers.

Please accept this cleavage as a substitute for charisma

30 October 2013 Naomi Irene Rohatyn ‏@omibaloney [^128.16] https://twitter.com/omibaloney/status/395653636929224704 Her Twitter bio and stats on 3 April 2014: A California Yankee turned King Arthur's Court Jester. Location: Los Angeles, CA. pundumpster.tumblr.com. 1,071 tweets. 1,290 tweets. 877 following. 2,781 followers.

I would rather be respected than "desired"

15 July 2012 Puddin Sudafed ‏@PuddingBoobs [^128.17] https://twitter.com/puddingboobs/status/224659989376147456

Her bio and stats on 2 November 2012: passive-aggressive, stage 7 clinger, all around terrible person. I'm the reason we can't have nice things. Location: Minneapolis, MN. 6,835 tweets. 794 following. 16,690 followers.

It's all fun and games until you see someone that works with you.

12 November 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^128.18] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/268238021290237952 Her bio and stats the next day: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,175 tweets. 1,912 following. 1,774 followers.

I gave a fuck at the office.

16 April 2012 Hormonella, damn it! ‏@Hormonella [^128.19] https://twitter.com/#!/Hormonella/status/191938336435347456 Her bio and stats on 10 December 2012: My body is not my temple. It's more like my bar and grill. Location: Stepford · http://favstar.fm/users/Hormonella/recent - 33,857 tweets. 17,421 following. 20,118 followers.

It's not pretty being easy.

15 July 2010 Don't Tell Daddy ‏@Hormonella [^128.20] https://twitter.com/Hormonella/status/18635834440 Her bio and stats on 10 December 2012: My body is not my temple. It's more like my bar and grill. Location: Stepford · http://favstar.fm/users/Hormonella/recent - 33,857 tweets. 17,421 following. 20,118 followers.

Dating someone from work is a great time-saving device when you want to ruin your career and your home life as quickly as possible.

28 January 2011 Mr. Won't @Brain_Wash [^128.21] https://twitter.com/#!/Brain_Wash/status/31111440429486080 His bio and stats on 26 May 2013: Mr. Want @Brain_wash Pissed off school teacher. Bitter father. Location: San Francisco · brainnotbrian.tumblr.com - 113 tweets. 0 following. 101 followers.

i like people a lot more when they're single.

10 October 2011 leesa @leesmf - https://twitter.com/#!/leesmf/status/123580172493524992 She started as leesa @omgitsleesa [^128.22], which was de-activated. Returned as lmf @leesmf. In September 2011 began tweeting from both accounts. Both accounts appear to have been de-activated in early April 2012. She was in the New York City metropolitan region.

In regards to your "freak flag" - please put that shit away.

28 December 2012 cassie ‏@DollyHumbert [^128.23] https://twitter.com/DollyHumbert/status/284757762167173120 Her Twitter bio and stats on 18 September 2013: Nothing, right off the bat. Location: Seattle. 2,975 tweets. 296 following. 524 followers.

I've lost my patience for women who flaunt their promiscuity as a sign of empowerment. You're not fooling anyone.

7 November 2011 kdn @kdn13 [^128.24] https://twitter.com/#!/kdn13/status/133671780740116480 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: I have a weakness for split infinitives. Location: Bay Area, CA. 4,724 tweets. 247 following. 19,916 followers.

@Shiringul @mahobili not sure of context. **Am not a sex positive feminist btw. Am rad. Sexuality should be critiqued.**

30 May 2012 Nabiha Meher Shaikh ‏@NabihaMeher [^128.25] https://twitter.com/NabihaMeher/status/207784419979833344 Her bio and stats on 11 April 2013: Critical thinking teacher & teacher trainer, writer, feminist & member of Women Action Forum @WAFLahore. Founder of @pakfemwatch. Retweets are not endorsements. Location: Lahore · http://www.nabihameher.wordpress.com - 28,444 tweets. 650 following. 6,520 followers.

Rad = radical. btw = by the way.

And:

@Shiringul **many people don't read feminist theory & make assumptions.**

Is an unfortunate reality.

30 May 2012 Nabiha Meher Shaikh ‏@NabihaMeher [^128.26] https://twitter.com/NabihaMeher/status/207787871858458624 In Lahore with 3,460 followers. Her bio and stats on 11 April 2013: Critical thinking teacher & teacher trainer, writer, feminist & member of Women Action Forum @WAFLahore. Founder of @pakfemwatch. Retweets are not endorsements. Location: Lahore · http://www.nabihameher.wordpress.com - 28,444 tweets. 650 following. 6,520 followers.

Nabiha Meher Shaikh refers to how some people think they know what feminism is (as if there was only one type) and rarely try to find out more. Their assumptions may include straw-man fallacies and disparaging labels.

You can call me a crazy feminazi but I prefer the term "doesn't like to be treated like a doormat," but you know, whichever.

19 November 2011 Sputnik Sweetheart @Verlieren [^128.27] https://twitter.com/#!/Verlieren/status/138143792325865472 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: Creator of Google, previously psychotic person. Not to make you fall in love with me but I probably don't have AIDS. http://tinyurl.com/verinstagram - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001856/ - 11,012 tweets. 548 following. 14,712 followers. In Utah.

• • • • •

NEW FEMINIST

We no longer need men to treat us equally.

We need women to treat each other less shitty.

10 August 2010 Sarah Silverman ‏@SarahKSilverman [^128.28] https://twitter.com/#!/SarahKSilverman/status/20813391078 Her bio and stats on 18 November 2012: We're all just molecules, Cutie. Location: Palestinian Territories · http://youtube.com/sarahsilverman - 2,425 tweets. 376 following. 3,618,750 followers.

A big difference between men's and women's prisons in the US is that in men's institutions, the men generally help each other more readily, encouraging a more positive atmosphere all round.

Hey girls, are we still doing that thing where we pretend to like each other but actually view one another as competition?

You look pretty.

21 November 2010 Missy @commala1999 [^128.29] https://twitter.com/#!/commala1999/status/6520674289975296 No account with this ID found on 23 May 2013.

Sometimes I wonder why women can't just be nicer to each other, then I remember how much I hate women who are prettier than me.

6 July 2011 Tricia @Im_Tricia [^128.30] https://twitter.com/#!/Im_Tricia/status/88709134056296448 Her bio and stats on 22 December 2012: Jazz hands for life while still keeping it gangsta./Instagram: Im_Tricia/ https://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/[-withheld – Tricia's wish list]. Location: Los Angeles · http://favstar.fm/users/Im_Tricia - 3,164 tweets. 636 following. 24,182 followers.

Almost daily, I watch as females compliment each other face to face and slander each other behind their backs. WHY

7 November 2012 Rayan. ‏@crayan9 [^128.31] https://twitter.com/crayan9/status/266298858852732928 Her bio and stats on 10 November 2012: One time, I had a joke in real life and I ended up laughing so hard I couldn't tell it. MOM, DON'T CLICK TWEETS IT MIGHT CAUSE A VIRUS. Frontal Cortex · http://favstar.fm/users/crayan9/recent 6,022 tweets. 1,647 following. 4,171 followers.

Who the fuck are we kidding?

Women DO hate each other.

17 May 2010 kdn @kdn13 [^128.32] https://twitter.com/#!/kdn13/status/14210118041 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: I have a weakness for split infinitives. Location: Bay Area, CA. 4,724 tweets. 247 following. 19,916 followers.

She only has guy friends.

Need I say more?

9 April 2012 kdn ‏ @kdn13 [^128.33] https://twitter.com/#!/kdn13/status/189562378495602688 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: I have a weakness for split infinitives. Location: Bay Area, CA. 4,724 tweets. 247 following. 19,916 followers.

Teach your daughters to get things NOT using lap-sitting, eye-lash-batting or other pathetic means. And the world will be theirs. Trust me.

14 September 2012 ShoutingGoddess ‏@ShoutingGoddess [^128.34] https://twitter.com/ShoutingGoddess/status/246582426304933889 Bio: Don't read this shit. Go read a book. 91,091 tweets. 2,175 following. 14,089 followers.

My daughter complained boys ignore her when she talks about video games.

"What about the girls?" I asked.

"I dunno, I don't listen to them."

18 February 2012 Susan G ‏ @BettyLies [^128.35] https://twitter.com/#!/BettyLies/status/171034521133789184 Her bio and stats on 17 January 2013: Welcome to my period tracker! Visit me on WitStream - http://www.witstream.com/#susan_grober – Location: Guelph, Ontario · http://BettyLies.tumblr.com - 3,938 tweets. 757 following. 9,755 followers.

# **NewGirlScoutPatches Understanding Other Women**

23 September 2012 Chroma Geddon ‏@ChromaGeddon [^128.36] https://twitter.com/ChromaGeddon/status/250050205729292289 Bio and stats on 21 April 2013: It's ~Dr~ Geddon, if you don't mind. I earned my title from an accredited online college of mixology that I hacked. Location: San Diego, CA · http://iwav.es/setmusicfree - 8,314 tweets. 463 following. 840 followers.

Ladies: stop hating other ladies.

Other ladies: stop being so hateable.

27 January 2012 shelby fero @shelbyfero [^128.37] https://twitter.com/#!/shelbyfero/status/163139129847197696 Her bio and stats on 12 December 2012 I'm not too crazy about me either. Location: California · http://favstar.fm/users/shelbyfero - 8,919 tweets. 770 following. 78,726 followers.

I've been CRUSHED by men, but it's the women in my life who have battered me emotionally, within an inch of my life...

Ladies, stop that.

3 July 2012 The Goddess ‏@eTHEgoddess [^128.38] https://twitter.com/eTHEgoddess/status/220242471651774464 Her bio and stats on 5 November 2012: I wish people were smarter... Or quieter. 7,703 tweets. 710 following. 7,705 followers.

• • • • •

Put a few feminists in a room & you'll leave with a headache.

3 February 2012 Nabiha Meher Shaikh @NabihaMeher [^128.39] https://twitter.com/#!/NabihaMeher/status/165431465935503361 Her bio and stats on 11 April 2013: Critical thinking teacher & teacher trainer, writer, feminist & member of Women Action Forum @WAFLahore. Founder of @pakfemwatch. Retweets are not endorsements. Location: Lahore · http://www.nabihameher.wordpress.com - 28,444 tweets. 650 following. 6,520 followers.

Tweeted while starting an activist group. Starting an activist group often calls for patience all round, regardless of the issues to be addressed. This tweet is not meant to say that feminists give people headaches.

'I have heard other eminent feminists say...,' says Shoma Chaudhury on TV, implicitly calling herself an eminent feminist.

Megalomaniac.

22 November 2013 Shivam Vij ‏@DilliDurAst [^128.40] https://twitter.com/DilliDurAst/status/403801585236451328 Bio: India correspondent for @csmonitor, co-conspirator at @kafila and columnist with @etribune. Pseudo-secularist, anarchist, rabble rouser. Shivamvij at gmail. Location: Republic of South Delhi · facebook.com/shivamvij - 44,824 tweets. 1,836 following. 9,481 followers.

Tweeted after Tarun Tejpal protégé Shoma Chaudhury reportedly suppressed evidence prior to Tejpal being charged with rape by the Goa police on 22 November 2013.

' **Feminism is not an org that one formally joins, and it can never be the isolated achievement of individual women** ' **< 3** [Link]

8 May 2012 Urooj Zia @UroojZia [^128.41] https://twitter.com/#!/UroojZia/status/177695751546224640 Twitter bio and stats on 7 June 2013: Founder @laalteyn. I also train dogs @talk2dogpk; research feminism, rape culture, & childhood abuse @bytesforall; and talk about Karachi, and my cats and dogs. Location: Karachi, Pakistan · laalteyn.com - 53,261 tweets. 1,322 following. 9,052 followers.

<3 = emoticon for a heart, used to signal that someone or something is loved or appreciated.

The link in Urooj Zia's tweet above points to this article: "Feminism and the Family – Thoughts on International Women's Day. Excerpts from my forthcoming book Seeing Like a Feminist (Penguin India/Zubaan Books)," by Nivedita Menon, Kafila, 8 March 2012. http://kafila.org/2012/03/08/feminism-and-the-family-thoughts-on-international-womens-day/

Nivedita Menon [^128.42] no Twitter ID found on 6 November 2013. Her biography on 6 November 2013 on http://kafila.org/about/ - "Nivedita Menon teaches Politics at School of International Studies, JNU, Delhi. She's a feminist activist, writer, and translator largely from Hindi into English, (but has once or twice had the temerity to dabble in translating Malayalam into English); with a history of involvement in citizens' interventions on a range of issues – secularism, workers' and women's rights, sexuality, and opposition to the nuclear programme (yes, even for "peaceful purposes")."

A popular joke in Nivedita's community: "What do you call a great Malayali?" Answer: "A phenom-menon."

Menons are traditionally matrilineal, with Menon men changing their surnames upon marriage. Upon death, a man's property may pass to his sister's children rather than or in addition to his own. In "love marriages" as opposed to arranged ones, for a man to receive permission from a woman's family to marry her, the mother's brother must normally be approached. His opinion may outweigh the father's.

Malayali Hindu and Christian women traditionally seek to marry men of equal or higher caste status, creating shortages of suitable high-caste grooms – and surpluses of unmarried high-caste Malayali women. The higher the caste of a Malayali Hindu or Christian groom, the greater his family's expectation for dowry payments, which can sometimes amount to extortion demands that continue long after the wedding. "We spent all this money on a husband and got a bad one," is a popular refrain.

In South Asian Muslim communities, it is the men who generally marry up, with bride prices paid to brides' families to provide some financial security for the bride and to compensate for the loss of a bride's contributions to her family.

Urooj Zia's tweet originates from this passage in Nivedita Menon's article in Kafila:

"Feminism is not an organization that one formally joins, and it can never be the isolated achievement of individual women. To be a feminist is to feel part of the history that has produced us; it is to insert oneself into two centuries of thick, textured narratives of struggles and celebrations that transcend national boundaries; to hear the strains of songs of anger and sorrow and militancy in many tongues; to remember our heroines, our foremothers; and above all, to feel an enormous sense of continuing responsibility.

"To see like a feminist is not to stabilize, it is to destabilize. The more we understand, the more our horizons shift."

Nivedita Menon writes about pathological tendencies in Indian families, in which domestic violence (by men and, among Malayalis, significantly also by women) is a huge, unspoken problem at all levels of society. Alcohol compounds the problem of domestic violence. In Kerala, alcohol is reportedly involved in 80% of domestic violence incidents and two thirds of all crimes. Kerala had the highest per-capita consumption of alcohol of any Indian state in 2014. Per-capita alcohol consumption in Kerala was twice the national average that year, but even this could be an underestimation. Half of the liquor estimated to be consumed in the state is "country liquor," produced and sold or traded outside of the formal economy and therefore difficult to track.

Nivedita Menon's article concludes:

"The family is an institution that rigidly enforces systems of inheritance and descent, and in this structure, individuals – sons, daughters, wives, husbands – are resources that are strictly bound by the violence, implicit and explicit, of this frame. We tend to take this frame for granted, and it becomes obscenely visible only in extraordinary circumstances.

"As feminists we need to build up the capacity and strength of both women and men to live in ways in which marriage is voluntary, and to build alternate non-marriage based communities."

Kafila @kafila [^128.43] Twitter bio and stats on 3 January 2014: Punchy political commentary from India and South Asia. Location: Delhi and elsewhere · kafila.org - 4,594 tweets. 7 following. 11,618 followers.

• • • • •

Karen Noble:

I was recently working on an assessment with a client that continues to call their administrative department "the girls." I was astounded that the manager, a woman, didn't recognize how this was keeping her team relegated to a stereotyped place within the culture of the business operation. She used the term herself as a expression of endearment toward the women who worked for her. The cashier staff members were expressing feelings of under appreciation and lack of respect for their work.

The paragraph above is by Karen Noble. It appeared as a comment Noble posted on 2 August 2012: http://disqus.com/guest/536ec131fbeacce100b7163479f78429/ She was commenting on the article "How Language Shapes Your Organization," by Kevin Allen in the HBR Blog Network of the Harvard Biz Review, 24 July 2012. http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2012/07/how_language_shapes_your_organization.html

The Twitter ID of Karen Noble [^128.44] could not be confirmed. Is it @kwnoble?

Twitter bio and stats of Harvard Biz Review @HarvardBiz [^128.45] on 3 February 2013: The latest Harvard Business Review blog posts, Management Tips of the Day, Daily Stats, and more. Location: Boston, MA · http://hbr.org - 12,725 tweets. 180 following. 945,103 followers.

Reply:

Oh my word! Institutionalised references such as these are corrosive and communicate how the organisation views segments of the company and creates an undeniable caste system.

Kevin Allen @kevin__allen [^128.46] 2 August 2012. His Twitter bio and stats on 19 September 2012: The Hidden Agenda bestselling author, former intnl adman/mad man & now CEO & founder of growth consultancy re:kap a KevinAllenPartners company. @rekapltd Location: London / New York · http://www.rekapltd.com - 598 tweets. 751 following. 1,169 followers.

Related:

girl are you a diminutive form of address intended for children that is applied to adults as a way to establish a skewed power dynamic becau

16 April 2013 brendle what ‏@brendlewhat [^128.47] https://twitter.com/brendlewhat/status/324265308753891329 Bio and stats on 16 February 2014: word fetishist - http://brendlewords.blogspot.com/p/radio-fragments.html - 33,772 tweets. 290 following. 17,965 followers. "Girl are you a ____ because ____" was a popular joke format at the time.

The best advice I ever received from a professor was when she said for ladies to stop infantilizing ourselves by using the word girl.

19 April 2013 Jana ‏@jneslo [^128.48] https://twitter.com/jneslo/status/325320435732471809 Her bio and stats on 26 April 2013: working on not being gross. Location: Seattle. 13,741 tweets. 406 following. 261 followers.

**Um, dear everyone, don't use "females" when writing about *people.* Women. Girls. Seriously.** # **usethewordwomendammit**

11 November 2013 Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch [^128.49] https://twitter.com/UnaDispatch/status/399939902705385472 Bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Development professional & expat advice dispenser working in Afghanistan. My life is a long fever dream. My blogging is sporadic. http://kabulhelpdesk.tumblr.com/ - Location: Kabul and New Orleans. · unamoore.com - 4,742 tweets. 1,211 following. 1,888 followers.

Chicks don't like being called that.

24 September 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^128.50] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/250137208546271232 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 14,015 tweets. 3,128 following. 9,547 followers.

**My name is Marvi** RT @muhdshoab: @dhume01 **We need your comments Mrs. Sirmed.**

26 April 2012 Marvi Sirmed ‏@marvisirmed [^128.51] https://twitter.com/#!/marvisirmed/status/195752823663755265 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Her bio: Interested in parliamentary democracy, international relations and counterterrorism. http://www.marvisirmed.com - 98,052 tweets. 599 following. 29,889 followers.

Then:

@muhdshoab **The objection is on "Mrs" part, not on second name. Men are not called by their relationships, why should we?** @dhume01

26 April 2012 Marvi Sirmed ‏@marvisirmed [^128.52] https://twitter.com/#!/marvisirmed/status/195754662765404160 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Her bio: Interested in parliamentary democracy, international relations and counterterrorism. http://www.marvisirmed.com - 98,052 tweets. 599 following. 29,889 followers.

• • • • •

Women: Your jokes about being "sluts" are hilarious.

They are certainly not setting women back and reinforcing misogyny.

Good job.

22 July 2012 Kelly Pentland ‏@MmeSurly [^128.53] https://twitter.com/mmesurly/status/227151146425389057 Her bio and stats on 6 November 2012: I think Roseanne thinks that she's my real mom. http://mmesurly.tumblr.com - 29,525 tweets. 499 following. 12,652 followers. Her bio and stats on 25 December 2013: pain is french for bread. mmesurly.tumblr.com. 13,796 tweets. 796 following. 18,546 followers. Sarcastic tweet.

I have a higher tolerance for arrogance in men than in women because I expect less from men.

17 August 2012 kdn ‏@kdn13 [^128.54] https://twitter.com/kdn13/status/281642768386899968 Her bio and stats on 21 December 2012: I have a weakness for split infinitives. Location: Bay Area, CA · instagram.com/kdnthirteen - 4,778 tweets. 258 following. 20,211 followers.

I love being a woman... until I have to deal with a stupid one.

14 October 2011 bee @dosesofneurosis [^128.55] https://twitter.com/#!/dosesofneurosis/status/124823042814775297 No account with this ID found on 7 April 2013.

It's not enjoyable to watch smart women pretend to be stupid.

23 January 2012 nerdamage @nerdamage [^128.56] https://twitter.com/#!/nerdamage/status/161611910788284416 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 14,015 tweets. 3,128 following. 9,547 followers.

Ladies think free

2 August 2012 Aparna Nancherla ‏@aparnapkin [^128.57] https://twitter.com/aparnapkin/status/231190690376335360 Her bio and stats on 21 November 2012: I am a scrunched up napkin with recyclable dreams. Also a comedian in some cultures. Total drag in others. Location: NY/LA sidewalk nook · http://www.aparnacomedy.com - 3,816 tweets. 1,381 following. 17,864 followers. Plays on 'Ladies free' advertisements for bars and other establishments that charge men for admission, but not women.

You may call it over-thinking, but to most women it's really just thinking.

24 October 2013 Christy ‏@LoveNLunchmeat [^128.58] https://twitter.com/LoveNLunchmeat/status/393386634030612480 Twitter bio and stats on 27 October 2013: Cognitive dissonance at its finest. Wife~Mom~Autism Parent~Lazy Blogger. Location: New York · http://favstar.fm/users/LoveNLunchmeat/recent - 21,696 tweets. 1,198 following. 4,588 followers.

Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths.

29 April 2010 taslima nasreen @taslimanasreen [^128.59] http://twitter.com/taslimanasreen/status/13104050692 Her bio and stats on 26 November 2012: Writer, Secular Humanist, Feminist, Physician. Location: Everywhere · http://freethoughtblogs.com/taslima/ - 21,418 tweets. 363 following. 49,055 followers.

• • • • •

If you have a woman questioning something you're doing, just be glad you have a woman questioning something you're doing.

27 October 2012 Jandalize ‏@Jandalize [^128.60] https://twitter.com/Jandalize/status/262392912904609793 Bio and stats the next day: Big nosed woman (Made you look). Location: Good ole North Carolina ~ USA · http://favstar.fm/users/Jandalize - 11,178 tweets. 5,110 following. 5,968 followers.

Real women push back

28 June 2012 Bombs ‏@CptBombs75 - https://twitter.com/CptBombs75/status/218440413311270914 Screen name, ID, bio and stats on 26 February 2013: Bombs @B0MBS_ [^128.61] \- Be amazed and mystified by my chemical tricks SAVE YOUR DMS FOR SOMEONE WHO GIVES A FUCK - favstar.fm/users/B0MBS_ - 37,202 tweets. 3,034 following. 6,261 followers.

get up Trinity...

5 November 2011 m1k3y @m1k3y [^128.62] https://twitter.com/#!/m1k3y/status/133023217425203200 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: Thus twat Zarathustra, sed the Posthuman Romantic. Location: T3H H0LY M0UNT@1N, AllNow · http://m1k3y.com/ - 36,118 tweets. 1,332 following. 1,312 followers. He was in Australia. The second character in m1k3y is the number one. m1k3y spells Mikey in leet.

Trinity is a character in The Matrix movie.

I do not wish women to have power over men, but over themselves.

29 April 2010 taslima nasreen @taslimanasreen [^128.63] http://twitter.com/taslimanasreen/status/13103953921 Her bio and stats on 26 November 2012: Writer, Secular Humanist, Feminist, Physician. Location: Everywhere · http://freethoughtblogs.com/taslima/ - 21,418 tweets. 363 following. 49,055 followers.

If Disney really wanted a role model for girls they'd film a woman in her 40's who's sick of everyone's shit and takes her life back.

13 July 2012 Kim ‏@Kimpulses [^128.64] https://twitter.com/Kimpulses/status/223921132917628928 Her bio and stats on 5 December 2012: I'm not a doctor, but I think there's something wrong with you. Location: Ontario, Canada · http://favstar.fm/users/Kimpulses - 6,991 tweets. 409 following. 5,621 followers.

The trouble with most societies/states is that our "moral standards" are always directed at women.

5 July 2012 Sachin Kalbag ‏@SachinKalbag [^128.65] https://twitter.com/SachinKalbag/status/220777702586712067 Stats on 5 July 2012: 24,157 tweets. 152 following. 13,553 followers. Stats on 19 November 2012: 28,948 tweets. 169 following. 17,854 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 29 July 2013: Executive Editor at @mid_day. I tweet and RT about Mumbai, current affairs, cosmology, journalism, photography, sports, science. Tweets are personal. Location: Mumbai · mid-day.com. 36,509 tweets. 197 following. 29,237 followers.

Sachin Kalbag tweeted this the day after the Jamaat-e-Islami in Jammu and Kashmir asked tourists visiting the Kashmir Valley to not wear skimpy clothes and warned of angry reactions if tourists failed to honor their request. The Jamaat issued a statement on 3 July 2012 declaring: "Some tourists, mostly foreigners, are seen wandering in short mini-skirts and other objectionable dresses openly which is against local ethos and culture. This is not acceptable to civil society at all." That statement was from a political party, not the JK government. Sachin Kalbag's tweet prompted a discussion about how women are harassed for wearing miniskirts in or near important Hindu holy sites in India.

Sen. Jim DeMint says sexually-active single women shouldn't be teachers.

But celibate single men are fine. Because that never ends badly.

6 October 2010 Shauna. With a u. @goldengateblond [^128.66] https://twitter.com/#!/goldengateblond/status/26568613859 Her Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 2 August 2013: shauna @goldengateblond - Writer, editor and WitStream member. Loved by my husband, expletives and gay men the world over. If you had a favorite brazen hussy, I'd be it. Location: Far from home. 6,503 tweets. 532 following. 7,563 followers.

**According to me both sexual harassment and moral policing are associated with bullying.** ~ Mohnish Moorjani

22 July 2011 Vidyut @Vidyut [^128.67] https://twitter.com/#!/Vidyut/status/94312261618905088 Her Twitter bio and stats on 20 July 2013: Caution: Highly infectious ideas. Disclaimer: I am no expert. You are solely responsible for ideas you adopt. Note: Reading my tweets is consent to be offended. Location: Mumbai · aamjanata.com - 148,499 tweets. 107 following. 9,223 followers. Bio and stats on 11 February 2014: Never mind the profile. Beware of the tweets. Location: Mumbai · aamjanata.com – 178,556 tweets. 113 following. 13,484 followers.

Mohnish Moorjani @MohnishMoorjani [^128.68] Twitter bio and stats on 28 May 2013: 0 tweets. 7 following. 7 followers. Is this the same person?

Men's brains are larger, but as they age, they also shrink faster than women's brains.

28 October 2010 taslima nasreen @taslimanasreen [^128.69] https://twitter.com/#!/taslimanasreen/status/28940481651 Her bio and stats on 26 November 2012: Writer, Secular Humanist, Feminist, Physician. Location: Everywhere · http://freethoughtblogs.com/taslima/ - 21,418 tweets. 363 following. 49,055 followers.

• • • • •

I'd tell more "stupid men" jokes but half of you wouldn't get it.

22 May 2012 Jocelyn Plums ‏@FilthyRichmond [^128.70] https://twitter.com/#!/FilthyRichmond/status/205082695389286400 Twitter bio and stats on 5 March 2013 for Jocelyn Plums @FilthyRichmond - Kiss Mommy's cold sore and make it better! #RVA http://FilthyRichmond.com Location: Richmond, VA · http://favstar.fm/users/filthyrichmond/recent - 9,914 tweets. 3,384 following. 65,783 followers.

Can someone please help me to spell misogynistic? A man preferably

29 August 2010 CJ Werleman @rationalists [^128.71] https://twitter.com/rationalists/status/22488157582 Twitter stats on 12 April 2013: USA · cjwerleman.com – 14,160 tweets. 612 following. 28,624 followers. Twitter stats on 28 September 2013: 16,317 tweets. 838 following. 26,796 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 21 February 2014: Author 'Crucifying America' and 'God Hates You. Hate Him Back' (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00GA65DQY/ref=cjwe02-20 ) Op-Ed Columnist for Salon/Alternet. Location: USA · cjwerleman.com – 19,014 tweets. 922 following. 28,113 followers.

Misogyny is the hatred, distrust, dislike or mistreatment of women or girls. It is practiced by misogynists. Hatred of men in general is misandry. Someone who practices it is a misandrist, pronounced mis·an·drist. A fondness for women is philogyny.

Once when I was young, stupid, insecure with low self esteem I used to ignore all the misogyny as long as men were nice to me.

30 May 2012 Nabiha Meher Shaikh ‏@NabihaMeher [^128.72] https://twitter.com/NabihaMeher/status/207743875324977152 Her bio and stats on 11 April 2013: Critical thinking teacher & teacher trainer, writer, feminist & member of Women Action Forum @WAFLahore. Founder of @pakfemwatch. Retweets are not endorsements. Location: Lahore · http://www.nabihameher.wordpress.com - 28,444 tweets. 650 following. 6,520 followers.

My glass ceiling is a real pane.

25 March 2012 Pixel Piper ‏@pixelpiper [^128.73] https://twitter.com/#!/pixelpiper/status/183982464316878849 Her Twitter bio and stats on 31 July 2013: Morally obtuse, she-nerd, iphone app developer with cynical tendencies...always had that pithy non sequitur thing going on. favstar.fm/users/pixelpiper - 3,765 tweets. 791 following. 3,610 followers. On 31 July 2013 her most recent tweet was dated 23 June 2012.

LESBIANS. Men can't seem to get enough of lesbians! Until it's time to give them promotions, equal pay, better housing, marriage rights...

28 March 2011 ThereIsNoJustice @trialfemme [^128.74] https://twitter.com/#!/trialfemme/status/52457604168957952 Her bio and stats on 17 February 2013: Explict Content. Do not follow if under the age of 18. No follow holla's. No 4Sq. Get off my porch. Location: Surplus Reality · http://favstar.fm/users/trialfemme - 33,003 tweets. 1,234 following. 3,824 followers. As of 11 February 2012, this had been retweeted 61 times.

I changed the lightbulbs outside.. I just did the work of four men.

25 March 2012 Teewee ‏@Wussawilla [^128.75] https://twitter.com/#!/Wussawilla/status/183980290178424832 Her bio and stats on 2 November 2012: Sometimes while sleeping, I dream of being real.. Location: The Center · http://favstar.fm/users/Wussawilla - 24,711 tweets. 2,329 following. 7,374 followers.

I'll do women's work but I'll do it poorly like a man.

5 May 2013 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^128.76] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/330980940870479873 His bio: I change my bio. soundcloud.com/nerdamage-1/warning - 17,599 tweets. 3,426 following. 12,410 followers.

You make me want to make you want to be a better man.

23 October 2012 Just Lee ‏@Just_Lee_ [^128.77] https://twitter.com/Just_Lee_/status/260759989369597953 Her bio and stats on 6 November 2012: I have Twitter Tourette Syndrome. Its a real thing. And its incurable. So fuck it. http://favstar.fm/users/just_lee_ 22,676 tweets. 1,713 following. 11,267 followers. Her bio and stats on 15 April 2014: Lets not make this personal. 781 tweets. 487 following. 2,306 followers.

Men who label women as bitter merely have a low threshold for honesty.

31 August 2011 kdn @kdn13 [^128.78] https://twitter.com/#!/kdn13/status/109123143116926977 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: I have a weakness for split infinitives. Location: Bay Area, CA. 4,724 tweets. 247 following. 19,916 followers.

"If your product was any good, you wouldn't need sexism to sell it !''

23 May 2012 taslima nasreen ‏@taslimanasreen [^128.79] https://twitter.com/taslimanasreen/status/205264954268450817 Her bio and stats on 26 November 2012: Writer, Secular Humanist, Feminist, Physician. Location: Everywhere · http://freethoughtblogs.com/taslima/ - 21,418 tweets. 363 following. 49,055 followers.

• • • • •

Humour is often used as a means of stereotyping

\- @zaighamkhan #GE4DE

16 September 2012 Sadaf Baig ‏@nuqsh [^128.80] https://twitter.com/nuqsh/status/247247865485873152 Sadaf's bio and stats on 2 April 2013: Not a ''proud'' Pakistani. (And those who are tempted to ask why, please climb out of the cave you are living in.) Location: Pakistan. · http://ibteda.wordpress.com - 6,811 tweets. 329 following. 3,581 followers.

Sadaf was at a conference organized by Intermedia Pakistan @IntermediaPak and Nighat Dad @nighatdad. Source of the quote, bio: zaigham Khan @zaighamkhan [^128.81] Social anthropologist, journalist, development professional. Location: Islamabad. 597 tweets. 98 following. 57 followers. Stats on 19 September 2013: 749 tweets. 117 following. 89 followers.

Intermedia Pakistan @IntermediaPak [^128.82] Twitter bio and stats on 19 September 2013: Intermedia Pakistan is an independent media development & development communications org. engaged in advocacy, media research & capacity building initiatives. Location: Islamabad · intermedia.org.pk. 514 tweets. 136 following. 318 followers.

Nighat Dad @nighatdad [^128.83] Twitter bio and stats on 19 September 2013: Internet Rights, TakeBacktheTech Campaigner, Freedom of Expression, Privacy Activist, Women Rights Defender, Lawyer, Digital Security Trainer. Location: Pakistan · digitalrightsfoundation.pk. 26,509 tweets. 1,352 following. 9,802 followers.

Humor is often a means of stereotyping, but it can also communicate important ideas:

" **Not all men..", "I don't see colour", and "education is the solution" walked into a bar...**

3 May 2014 /kaw·reɪdʒ/ ‏@kawrage [^128.84] https://twitter.com/kawrage/status/462679542252199936 Her bio and stats on 10 May 2014: woman off colour • person of culture • the (in)visibilised is politicized. kawrage.wordpress.com. 20,020 tweets. 491 following. 4,858 followers.

Reply:

@kawrage and met "I've already checked my privilege"

3 May 2014 ChristineKaratnytsky ‏@ckaratnytsky [^128.85] https://twitter.com/ckaratnytsky/status/462680240549269504 Bio and stats on 10 May 2014: Anarchist, Librarian, Gardener. I answer reference questions. RTs or tags ≠ endorsements. FB admin: Antifascist Action and The Art of Anarchy. Location: In your catalog. · christinekaratnytsky.tumblr.com. 75,906. 1,997 following. 1,563 followers.

" **Male managers use humor to demonstrate & display their leadership of a team**." [link] ' **women's jokes are seen as contrived** '

23 May 2012 midtowngirl ‏@_Midtowngirl [^128.86] https://twitter.com/_Midtowngirl/status/205495673284595712 Bio and stats on 16 March 2013: Investment Banking.100% Nerd. @Columbia alumni. Native NY'er (Born & Raised on the Upper West Side) with typical cynical outlook on life only true NYers have. Location: Midtown, Manhattan. 11,091 tweets. 179 following. 499 followers.

And:

' **Women would rather laugh at themselves on the whole than laugh at others because it is the safe option**.'

23 May 2012 midtowngirl ‏@_Midtowngirl [^128.87] https://twitter.com/_Midtowngirl/status/205494837141716994 Bio and stats on 16 March 2013: Investment Banking.100% Nerd. @Columbia alumni. Native NY'er (Born & Raised on the Upper West Side) with typical cynical outlook on life only true NYers have. Location: Midtown, Manhattan. 11,091 tweets. 179 following. 499 followers.

Both tweets link to:

"The unfunny girls! Female bosses' jokes fall flat while men get all the laughs in the boardroom," by Nick McDermott, Daily Mail, 20 May 2012,  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2147048/The-dreaded-awkward-silence-Why-womens-workplace-jokes-flop-men-excel-witty-banter.html

Nick McDermott @mcdermott_n [^128.88] Twitter bio and stats on 18 September 2013: Science and environment reporter, Daily Mail. I write the articles, not the headlines. Usual caveats apply. Location: London. 25 tweets. 158 following. 113 followers.

Daily Mail Online @MailOnline [^128.89] Twitter bio and stats on 18 September 2013: Latest news, sport, showbiz and science stories from the Daily Mail Online. Follow @DailyMailUS for U.S. news - Also on Facebook http://fb.me/DailyMail - dailymail.co.uk. 104,831 tweets. 2,230 following. 402,693 followers.

Women are not less humorous than men, says Nick McDermott in his article above. They just use humor differently, more in small groups or one-on-one. Women are more likely than men to employ self-deprecating humor in the workplace. Self-deprecating humor does not project authority and is often unsuccessful in large meetings because subordinates may feel uncomfortable laughing at a manager's expense.

What should women do? McDermott's article suggests: "They should learn to develop the running gag or light, teasing banter with male and female colleagues at appropriate moments such as the beginning and ends of meetings, passing in the corridor, or while making a cup of tea."

Going beyond Nick McDermott's article above, it is observed that men's humor with other men often has sexual undertones to it, not in a flirting way but rather as ostensibly harmless teasing or joking. It isn't always harmless, as harassment with sexual undertones can be more common between men than between men and women.

Male-male teasing with sexual undertones is done because sexuality is an accessible topic for men to use for bonding and social cohesion, and to help determine relative status. Within limits, sexualized banter may be seen as acceptable between males, but when directed toward women it can instantly exceed personal boundaries.

On a general level, skills in teasing and embarrassing others that are learned in childhood can find their way into the workplace, with workplace behavior imitating familial roles and behaviors. Teasing can signal that the person doing it is miserable inside.

Make fun of yourself. See how it feels. Before you try it on anyone else.

31 August 2012 Rameeza Nizami ‏@RameezaNizami [^128.90] https://twitter.com/RameezaNizami/status/241548751754362882 Her bio and stats on 12 November 2012: Unauthorized, unofficial, etc etc. This isn't even me, really. Location: In an office, most of the time. 5,010 tweets. 890 following. 3,331 followers.

Friendship in China can be expressed through more respectful and formalized behavior, whereas in the West the opposite is true. The reduction in sexual tension that can occur over time between men and women in a workplace environment (whereby men cease to view nearby women in sexual terms) can ironically lead to increases in sexual harassment as men direct their male-male style of running banter toward women.

the problem with men is that they're men.

19 June 2012 Sweet P ‏@preawsaurus [^128.91] https://twitter.com/preawsaurus/status/215101822690529282 Her bio and stats on 8 November 2012: i am nice. at least that's the way i perceive myself. i could be wrong. Location: Tellus · http://favstar.fm/users/preawsaurus/most_retweeted - 12,197 tweets. 910 following. 8,090 followers.

Guys communicate by insulting each other, but don't really mean it.

Girls communicate by complimenting each other, but don't really mean it.

30 December 2011 Lee ‏@silent_musings [^128.92] https://twitter.com/silent_musings/status/152929438584160257 Bio and stats on 6 March 2013: Queer Butch, Spoken Word Poet, Unusual Suspect with a minor in Thinking Guru- Sometimes I see dead people, sadly most of them are still alive. Location: Florida · http://favstar.fm/users/silent_musings - 25,037 tweets. 8,517 following. 18,184 followers.

The above tweet was refined a year later by substituting _socialize_ for _communicate_ and _women_ for _girls_ :

Men socialize by insulting each other but don't really mean it .....

Woman socialize by complimenting each other and don't really mean it

19 October 2012 Lize Tagge ‏@lizetagge [^128.93] https://twitter.com/lizetagge/status/259341522930110464 Her bio and stats on 16 December 2012: Congratulations you're 18!...On a list of 20 people i'm going to kill. Location: USA Georgia · favstar.fm/users/lizetagge - 31,491 tweets. 17,884 following. 17,909 followers.

Saying you didn't mean it, doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

29 November 2012 Monica ‏@LittleHarmonica [^128.94] https://twitter.com/LittleHarmonica/status/274277557849968641 Her bio and stats on 16 December 2012: If you can't play the blues you may as well hang it up... Location: Ireland · http://favstar.fm/users/LittleHarmonica - 26,528 tweets. 3,678 following. 16,662 followers.

The challenge is how to establish and communicate boundaries, not simply in putting a stop to unwanted sexual banter but to maintain personal comfort and dignity generally. Everyone needs to be able to speak up for themselves.

A model for constructive criticism:

When you say or do ___,

it makes me feel ___,

so I want you to please ____ [do this ___ or stop doing ___ ].

Only idiots are hypersensitive to constructive criticism.

4 July 2013 Richard Harris ‏@RichHarris2 [^128.95] https://twitter.com/RichHarris2/status/352759953628475392 Twitter bio and stats on 20 September 2013: vascular surgeon to real people http://richharris2.tumblr.com/ http://www.kvu.com.au – Location: sydney australia · favstar.fm/users/RichHarris2 - 105,812 tweets. 10,147 following. 11,294 followers.

• • • • •

Yeah, I caught you staring at my boobs, sir.

26 May 2012 muchkin ‏@prettymuches - https://twitter.com/prettymuches/status/206424716825722881 Her screen name, ID, bio and stats on 13 May 2013: ♥ @grrrawrr_ [^128.96] 7,991 tweets. 1,325 following. 1,958 followers.

Her: The creepy guy at the gym was staring at me.

Me: You're going to have to be more specific.

21 November 2010 morros @Morros [^128.97] https://twitter.com/#!/Morros/status/6539267606056960 Twitter bio and stats on 19 September 2013: Please to put back in tomb. Location: Portland,OR. 8,123 tweets. 528 following. 1,593 followers.

A woman is known by the men she avoids.

29 July 2012 Suruchi ‏@DesireMaze [^128.98] https://twitter.com/DesireMaze/status/229498579989962752 Her Twitter bio and stats on 19 September 2013: Let's tweet like the birds sing-not bothering about who hears or what they think. http://instagram.com/desiremaze http://favstar.fm/users/DesireMaze \- mytumblingthoughts.blogspot.com - 24,775 tweets. 290 following. 11,548 followers.

**Our societies seem to focus on teaching women not to be harassed rather than teaching men not to be harassers.** #DelhiGangRape

22 December 2012 Iyad El-Baghdadi ‏@iyad_elbaghdadi [^128.99] https://twitter.com/iyad_elbaghdadi/status/282410552913969152 His bio: I startup startups, coach social media, tweet revolutions, and make fun of tyrants. Islamic libertarian. Location: Dubai, UAE · el-baghdadi.com - 42,922 tweets. 1,171 following. 17,204 followers.

Tweeted during street protests in Delhi against government inaction on rapes. The protests were met with lathi charges and at least five volleys of tear gas.

Company CEOs:

Does your company have an anti-sexual harassment policy?

If yes, do you share it on your website?

10 June 2012 Sana Saleem ‏@sanasaleem [^128.100] https://twitter.com/sanasaleem/status/212047409214275585 In Karachi, Pakistan. Her bio and stats on 10 November 2012: Director @bolobhi, Co-founder @desistore, blogger for the guardian,dawn.com & global voices [Prone to unannounced & prolonged twitter hiatus]. Location: beside a book · http://sanasaleem.com - 45,152 tweets. 1,789 following. 12,673 followers.

# **Sexual Harassment is an unwelcome behaviour of sexual nature which is offensive,addressing, intimidating**

\- #GE4DE @nighatdad @IntermediaPak

16 September 2012 Sadaf Baig ‏@nuqsh [^128.101] https://twitter.com/nuqsh/status/247273105456762880 Her bio and stats on 2 April 2013: Not a ''proud'' Pakistani. (And those who are tempted to ask why, please climb out of the cave you are living in.) Location: Pakistan. · http://ibteda.wordpress.com - 6,811 tweets. 329 following. 3,581 followers.

The above definition of sexual harassment was made during an @IntermediaPak conference session: "Sexual Harassment at Workplace & Public Spaces 101." Tweets from the conference session were collected by @BoloBhi and posted that day on:  http://storify.com/BoloBhi/sexual-harassment-at-workplace-and-public-spaces-1

Conference organizer Nighat Dad @nighatdad [^128.102] Twitter bio and stats on 19 September 2013: Internet Rights, TakeBacktheTech Campaigner, Freedom of Expression, Privacy Activist, Women Rights Defender, Lawyer, Digital Security Trainer. Location: Pakistan · digitalrightsfoundation.pk. 26,509 tweets. 1,352 following. 9,802 followers.

Intermedia Pakistan @IntermediaPak [^128.103] Twitter bio and stats on 19 September 2013: Intermedia Pakistan is an independent media development & development communications org. engaged in advocacy, media research & capacity building initiatives. Location: Islamabad · intermedia.org.pk. 514 tweets. 136 following. 318 followers.

The fact that reporting sexual harassment is more likely to end the victim's career than the perpetrator's is disgusting.

10 August 2012 Caitlin Fitz Gerald ‏@caidid [^128.104] https://twitter.com/caidid/status/234159821354573824 Bio: Writer. Artist. Job-seeker. Foreign policy, natsec, civ-mil, Middle East, women's issues, superheroes, Boston sports, Arsenal, grammar, space. Bad at sleeping. Location: Boston, MA. 17,889 tweets. 375 following. 1,387 followers.

Really?? Where? In the US?

**RT @KristieKenney: SecClinton says "women today have so many opportunities** "

#ClintonBKK #women #rights #gender

17 November 2011 Nita Bhalla @nitabhalla [^128.105] https://twitter.com/#!/nitabhalla/status/137042917213749248 Her Twitter bio and stats on 19 September 2013: South Asia correspondent, covering humanitarian issues, focusing on disasters, conflicts, good governance and women's rights for the Thomson Reuters Foundation. Location: New Delhi · blogs.reuters.com/nita-bhalla - 5,416 tweets. 2,629 following. 5,641 followers.

Kristie Kenney @KristieKenney [^128.106] Twitter bio and stats on 19 September 2013: The real me. My work, my life, my thoughts. Location: Thailand · bangkok.usembassy.gov - 18,080 tweets. 124 following. 42,060 followers.

The tweet refers to a statement made by then US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton while on a visit to the region.

Hillary Clinton @HillaryClinton [^128.107] Twitter bio and stats on 19 September 2013: Wife, mom, lawyer, women & kids advocate, FLOAR, FLOTUS, US Senator, SecState, author, dog owner, hair icon, pantsuit aficionado, glass ceiling cracker, TBD... Location: New York · clintonfoundation.org. 20 tweets. 8 following. 779,315 followers.

Tell me the condition of women, and I will tell you the condition of the country.

6 November 2012 Gregor Macdonald ‏@GregorMacdonald [^128.108] https://twitter.com/GregorMacdonald/status/266066323145117696 His bio and stats on 10 November 2012: Energy and Economics. Location: Portland, OR · http://www.gregor.us - 11,248 tweets. 352 following. 9,309 followers.

there's no better measure of a state's feminism than how it treats prostitutes and indigenous women, is there [long pause] Canada?

10 November 2014 SarahNicolePrickett ‏@snpsnpsnp [^128.115 - added late and is out of sequence here] https://twitter.com/snpsnpsnp/status/531946657261572096 Bio and stats on 28 November 2014: Writer. Founding editor of @AdultMag. Contributing editor at the @NewInquiry. Location: New York - snpsnpsnp.com/recent/ - 38,552 tweets. 921 following. 15,242 followers. Canadian.

In some parts of the world, it's considered rude to be a woman.

25 March 2011 Mae @HerMaeness - https://twitter.com/#!/HerMaeness/status/51375577088790529 She changed her ID to @mzeld [^128.109] and had this bio and stats on 12 November 2012: LET'S DO TWEETS OFF EACH OTHER'S BUTTS http://www.internet.com - 16,846 tweets. 698 following. 21,805 followers. In Cairo.

Is there global/regional measure of gender inequality that goes beyond, and incorporates, the economic?

6 June 2012 TO Molefe ‏@TOMolefe [^128.110] https://twitter.com/TOMolefe/status/210270376339578881 He had 3,557 followers. Bio and stats on 19 September 2013: #writerofthings Currently writing a book on race and reconciliation in South Africa. Location: Cape Town, South Africa · themodularman.wordpress.com. 38,129 tweets. 2,388 following. 8,095 followers.

Reply:

@TOMolefe **Best global measure of gender equality: % of ♀ owned biz ( >_ revenue p/y).**

**Easier to measure: % of ♀ CEOs**.

cc @nitabhalla @swarraj

6 June 2012 https://twitter.com/aem76us/status/210590238349869056

The percentage of businesses owned by women can be determined from a universe of businesses that begin (and possibly end) at a certain revenue thresholds per year. It may be easier to simply calculate the percentage of chief executive officers (CEOs) who are women.

"Only 3 percent of California companies that got seed funding in 2010 were founded by all-women teams, while 8 percent were formed by mixed-gender groups," said Jillian C. York.

Source: "Closed Network — Technology may be redefining our intellectual life, but some things never change—especially for women. A response to Henry Farrell." By Jillian C. York, Democracy Journal, Issue #31, winter 2014, 11 December 2013, http://www.democracyjournal.org/31/closed-network.php

Jillian C. York @jilliancyork [^128.111] Twitter bio and stats on 11 December 2013: Director for International Freedom of Expression @EFF. Views all my own. Artist sometimes known as Chillian J. Yikes! Location: on a chair in the sky · jilliancyork.com. 103,415 tweets. 1,790 following. 34,646 followers.

Democracy Journal @DemJournal [^128.112] Twitter bio and stats on 11 December 2013: Left-of-center political quarterly. Named Best New Publication by the Independent Press Awards, and described as what Obama's reading by Politico. Location: Washington, D.C. · democracyjournal.org. 1,108 tweets. 401 following. 2,634 followers.

Lost in discussions of sexual politics is an appreciation for the advantages offered by workplaces that are diverse and comfortable for all, with diversity extending beyond gender. These workplaces are often more productive and creative than narrowly heterogeneous ones. They can enjoy greater collective intelligence and are less inclined toward groupthink.

Don't assume I'm dumb because I'm quiet. Base that on my gender.

17 May 2012 Kristy Grant ‏@kristygee [^128.113] https://twitter.com/kristygee/status/203214813239853056 Her bio and stats on 13 March 2013: Writer for Anger Management. I'm shy! (giggles & runs behind curtain to hide; falls out window to death). Location: Los Angeles · http://vimeo.com/13219328 \- 1,442 tweets. 373 following. 23,523 followers.

There's a really funny girl at this party, but you won't find her if you and the guys keep dominating the conversation

12:22 a.m. Central on 5 July 2012. foxy j ‏@idreamofmayo [^128.114] https://twitter.com/idreamofmayo/status/221111964242411522 Her bio and stats on 18 November 2012: kid at heart but not liver http://favstar.fm/users/idreamofmayo Location: (Hou/Bo) ston. 3,402 tweets. 231 following. 329 followers. No account with this ID found on 7 April 2013. Subtweeted late at night on the Independence Day holiday in the United States.

^128.115 was added late and can be found above in a tweet by SarahNicolePrickett ‏@snpsnpsnp.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  129. School, how it prepares you

My mind is a canvas.

A very blank canvas.

20 September 2012 Lisa Laughs ‏@Lisa_Laughs_ [^129.1] https://twitter.com/Lisa_Laughs_/status/248851261250756608 Her bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I shouted at the devil once. He cried and made me a chicken pot pie. Gordo Pie Osigat Token BBQ · http://favstar.fm/users/Lisa_Laughs_/recent - 57,977 tweets. 4,192 following. 18,790 followers.

We all learnt from/thanks to/because of someone.

Let's stop pretending we were born this way.

15 September 2012 Rameeza Nizami ‏@RameezaNizami [^129.2] https://twitter.com/RameezaNizami/status/247167305786724353 Her bio and stats on 12 November 2012: Unauthorized, unofficial, etc etc. This isn't even me, really. Location: In an office, most of the time. 5,010 tweets. 890 following. 3,331 followers.

If you can read this tweet, thank a teacher.

16 April 2012 Junkyardigan ‏@junkyardigan [^129.3] https://twitter.com/#!/junkyardigan/status/192010290840338432 His bio and stats on 13 November 2012: I'm just a guy. Not that guy. The other guy. Over there. In the back. Hi. 3,345 tweets. 1,719 following. 2,233 followers.

" **Education consists of knowing what the world is really like**."

13 July 2012 m1k3y ‏@m1k3y [^129.4] https://twitter.com/m1k3y/status/224005796881645568 Bio: Thus twat Zarathustra. Location: T3H H0LY M0UNT@1N, AllNow. 33,238 tweets. 1,220 following. 1,224 followers. Très 311337. In Australia. The second character in m1k3y is the number one. m1k3y spells Mikey in leet.

From: "New Rules," by Thomas L. Friedman:

The truth is, if you want a decent job that will lead to a decent life today _you_ have to work harder, regularly reinvent yourself, obtain at least some form of postsecondary education, make sure that you're engaged in lifelong learning and play by the rules.

Technology and globalization are wiping out lower-skilled jobs faster, while steadily raising the skill level required for new jobs. More than ever now, lifelong learning is the key to getting into, and staying in, the middle class.

There is a quote attributed to the futurist Alvin Toffler that captures this new reality: In the future "illiteracy will not be defined by those who cannot read and write, but by those who cannot learn and relearn." Any form of standing still is deadly.

Quoted from: "New Rules," by Thomas L. Friedman, The New York Times opinion section, 8 September 2012, https://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/09/opinion/sunday/friedman-new-rules.html Italics above are reproduced from the original.

Thomas L. Friedman @tomfriedman [^129.5] Twitter bio and stats on 27 January 2013: NY Times columnist and Pulitzer Prize winning author of Lexus and the Olive Tree and From Beirut to Jerusalem. Location: New York, NY · http://nytimes.com/friedman - 309 tweets. 91 following. 167,051 followers.

The New York Times @nytimes [^129.6] Bio and stats on 26 January 2013: Where the Conversation Begins. Follow for breaking news, special reports, http://NYTimes.com homepage links and RTs of our journalists. Location: New York City · http://www.nytimes.com/ - 98,183 tweets. 731 following. 7,289,918 followers.

My problem is math.

14 June 2012 Patrick James Lynch ‏@pjlynch [^129.7] https://twitter.com/pjlynch/status/213381617790615552

Bio: Indoor enthusiast. Location: Brooklyn, NY. 1,152 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 20 September 2013: Actor, writer, producer, hemophilia advocate, and chronic bio changer. Did you know bleeding disorders are funny?: http://stbhemo.com . #stbhemo. Location: NYC/LA · favstar.fm/users/pjlynch. 9,541 tweets. 414 following. 2,699 followers.

I was told there would be no math rock.

15 February 2014 Friedrice Nietzsche @TinyNietzsche [^129.8] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/434752022626062336 Bio and stats on 22 March 2014: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 18,169 tweets. 755 following. 31,962 followers.

John has 4 apples and gives away 1.

Calculate the mass of the sun?

13 May 2012 Justine Nienaber ‏@punkystarfish [^129.9] https://twitter.com/punkystarfish/status/201886310074564608 Her bio and stats on 28 November 2012: I tweet it up like Tweety bird | Social Media Gal @Talooma | Digital Guru in Training |Zimbabwean | Taller than you | Loves Pandas | Favourite time is 12:34. Location: I swam here from Zimbabwe · http://www.justinejoyit.co.za - 12,690 tweets. 507 following. 1,042 followers.

TELL ME THE ANSWERS

9 October 2012 bill naai ‏@ninja_drums [^129.10] https://twitter.com/ninja_drums/status/255758860126654466 Bio: The words might be free, but you'll pay. Location: hate city. 9,565 tweets. 250 following. 861 followers. His stats on 5 December 2012: 11,477 tweets. 256 following. 1,102 followers.

Sometimes blank stare is the correct answer.

5 August 2012 Danny Lover ‏@10InchesPlus [^129.11] https://twitter.com/10InchesPlus/status/232223185381249024 His bio and stats on 12 October 2012: Samuel L. Jackson requested I be on his plane. I RT awesome people like it's my job. Location: At your fingertips,all of them · http://favstar.fm/users/10InchesPlus - 33,747 tweets. 1,369 following. 6,670 followers.

3 words: I can't do math

19 February 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^129.12] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/303853558632173568 Her bio and stats on 21 February 2013: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 13,087 tweets. 1,978 following. 2,000 followers.

LIKE WHAT EVEN ARE NUMBERS

11 March 2013 CAKE SMOTH @CAKETENDO64 [^129.13] https://twitter.com/CAKETENDO64/status/310042916523474945 Her bio and stats on 11 March 2013: I HATE MYSELF AND I WANT TO DIE. Location: CELL BLOCK 20 · http://jawlyrawgr.tumblr.com/ - 14,012 tweets. 977 following. 2,748 followers.

You Americans and your percentages. You 75% amuse me.

20 September 2012 Lisa Rahmat ‏@lisarahmat [^129.14] https://twitter.com/lisarahmat/status/248923579687788545 \- 2,115 tweets. 276 following. 3,550 followers. Her bio and stats on 25 February 2013: Crazy panda lady who likes looking out windows and things. Location: Singapore · lisarahmat.tumblr.com - 2,341 tweets. 255 following. 3,643 followers.

5 in 1 Americans aren't good with numbers.

20 August 2010 Crab @Blue_Crab [^129.15] https://twitter.com/Blue_Crab/status/21694831637 Bio and stats on 24 March 2013: Stronger than ativan and more powerful than chocolate. Send me an email at google – BlueCrabsEmail – Location: South · http://favstar.fm/users/Blue_Crab - 3,473 tweets. 381 following. 2,174 followers.

U.S. students ranked 32nd in math proficiency last year.

I only have 2 words for that: That's fucked up.

4 July 2012 Jamie Capria ‏@MrFornicator [^129.16] https://twitter.com/mrfornicator/status/220761139007598592 His bio and stats on 25 January 2013: Comedian/Writer and founder of Comedians For Cancer. The average person laughs 15 times a day... that's not nearly enough. http://ComediansForCancer.com Location: Syracuse, New York · favstar.fm/users/MrFornicator - 4,342 tweets. 5,350 following. 51,213 followers.

U.S. students rank 32nd in math, which only seems bad if you understand math.

12 November 2012 Julius Sharpe ‏@juliussharpe [^129.17] https://twitter.com/juliussharpe/status/268145787362488320 His bio and stats on 4 December 2012: Writer for Family Guy on FOX. Frequent bathrobe wearer. Location: Los Angeles, CA. 4,196 tweets. 509 following. 102,262 followers.

Whenever American politicians say defunding education isn't a big deal I will point to everything that is happening in the middle east.

12 September 2012 Andy El-Zayaty ‏@Fauxgyptian [^129.18] https://twitter.com/Fauxgyptian/status/245846188425875456 His bio and stats on 28 September 2012: Have a nice day. 4,206 tweets. 148 following. 116 followers. In Cairo, Egypt.

Everything's gonna be ok ma'am, I've got a degree from an online college.

14 September 2012 Snorklhuahua ‏@weinerdog4life [^129.19] https://twitter.com/weinerdog4life/status/246628132604497920 Twitter bio and stats on 20 September 2013: Voted Amarillo's #1 Asian Restaurant. Location: tractor. 16,626 tweets. 1,119 following. 25,917 followers.

Academic pedigrees are indicators of socio-economic status.

Prestigious universities were quick to make online courses available globally because this extended their brands. As mid and lower-ranked schools looked to control costs, online education replaced some forms of classroom teaching.

Students can benefit from online course offerings, especially when it enables them to obtain precisely the type of training they need, without the debt burdens of classroom education. Online education lacks the peer-to-peer learning, socialization and networking benefits that often accompany classroom experiences. Employers have not been quick to recognize online degrees as equivalent to offline academic credentials, in part because of the differences that face-to-face interactions can make, and in light of the higher drop-out and failure rates of online education programs.

I got degree from original IIT okay. Education? No. Only degree.

5 December 2012 Ramesh Srivats ‏@rameshsrivats [^129.20] https://twitter.com/rameshsrivats/status/276538570901176320 His bio: Armchair thinker, excessive drinker, occasional writer, wants to be lighter. Location: Bangalore, India · http://www.tententen.in/ - 12,901 tweets. 221 following. 67,981 followers.

IITs are the Indian Institutes of Technology. Together with the Indian Institutes of Management (IIMs), the Indian Institutes of Technology are the most prestigious national universities in India. Ramesh Srivats posted the tweet above on the day after the Centre announced plans to fund an additional 20 IITs. New IIMs were also planned. The pay scale at IITs is too low to attract the best talent from around the world. The IIT Act bars foreigners from holding permanent faculty positions at IITs. At the time of Ramesh Srivats' tweet above, most instructors at the new IITs were young, inexperienced and relatively unlikely to challenge the status quo.

Rather than launch new IITs and IIMs, resources could have been (and can still be) allocated to upgrade existing institutions to enable them to improve their educational offerings, conduct research and attract international faculty. New IITs and IIMs will dilute the reputation of the original institutions. The eight IITs established previously are reviewed in this article:

"Wretched New IITs - Who is responsible for the sorry state of these institutions?" by Siddhartha Gupta, Open Magazine, 14 September 2013,  http://www.openthemagazine.com/article/nation/wretched-new-iits

No Twitter ID identified for Siddhartha Gupta [^129.21] on 15 September 2013.

Twitter bio and stats on 15 September 2013 for Open Magazine @Openthemag [^129.22] The Return of Magazine Journalism. openthemagazine.com. 3,163 tweets. 251 following. 25,418 followers.

The only thing back in school that ever prepared me for real life was detention.

11 January 2011 eaton toomuchcrap @nirvana68 [^129.23] https://twitter.com/#!/nirvana68/status/25019308727861248 Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 21 July 2013, when this account was found to have been disabled: giovanni aversa @nirvana68 \- 0 tweets. 0 following. 0 followers.

I still wake up hoping that class is cancelled.

7 March 2012 Alec Sulkin ‏@thesulk [^129.24] https://twitter.com/thesulk/status/177531288612380672 His bio and stats on 22 November 2012: Breaker of Swift Mustache Hairs. Location: Los Angeles. 6,748 tweets. 836 following. 481,460 followers.

I hated school. I don't trust anybody who looks back on the years 14 to 18 with any enjoyment. If you liked being a teenager, there's something really wrong with you.

\- Stephen King

8 September 2012 Elsa Pelsjas @elsaPelsjas [^129.25] https://pelsjas.wordpress.com/2012/09/08/6846/ Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,223 tweets. 1,918 following. 1,773 followers.

I really haven't changed a lot since high school.

I still have no friends.

18 July 2013 Shea Burnham ‏@Glorificus917 [^129.26] https://twitter.com/Glorificus917/status/358043608613527552 Her bio: You suck and I'm awesome. Instagram: Badkittie917 Marietta/Atl, GA · favstar.fm/users/Glorificus917 - 11,098 tweets. 754 following. 1,752 followers. She was in her mid-30s at the time.

I can still fit into my fetal position from high school.

11 January 2013 Wile E. Quixote ‏@ScottLinnen [^129.27] https://twitter.com/ScottLinnen/status/289942806657650688 Bio and stats on 13 January 2013: It's always sunny in PharmVille™ 8,539 tweets. 3,627 following. 7,426 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  130. Pedagogy and the economics of education

Pedagogy refers to the practice and study of education.

Peter Scholtes said "I taught my dog to whistle. She did not learn, but I taught her!"

#Scholtes #Deming #learning #teaching

8 March 2012 Paul Hollingworth ‏@HollingworthP [^130.1] https://twitter.com/#!/HollingworthP/status/177674967016677376 Paul Hollingworth is an education consultant in Britain. His Twitter bio and stats on 21 September 2013: Organisational educator. Helping people to achieve more with less since 1992. Location: UK · 4GM.com. 900 tweets. 390 following. 311 followers.

No Twitter ID found on 21 September 2013 for Peter Scholtes ^130.2]. He died in 2009. Memorialized on [http://www.pscholtes.com/

Unexpected stat of the day: there is zero correlation between "time spent studying" and performance on the SAT

(Fig 14) http://edci6304sp2011.pbworks.com/f/YAN_Project4_article_Sp_2011.pdf

29 March 2012 jonahlehrer ‏@jonahlehrer [^130.3] https://twitter.com/#!/jonahlehrer/status/185465535415324673

Points to: Study Habits, Skills, and Attitudes - The Third Pillar Supporting Collegiate Academic Performance, by Marcus Crede and Nathan R. Kuncel. Published in Perspectives on Psychological Science, a journal published by the Association for Psychological Science, volume 3, number 6, 21 November 2008. The URL above was no longer available for public viewing on 21 September 2013.

Jonah Lehrer screen name, ID, bio and stats on 5 February 2013: jonahlehrer @jonahlehrer, jonahlehrer.com - Los Angeles · http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/frontal-cortex - 1,814 tweets. 600 following. 46,136 followers. His most recent tweet on 5 February 2013 was dated 17 June 2012.

Standardized testing forces schools to 'teach to the test,' i.e., what is on the test. This encourages rote memorization of material, much of which may be quickly forgotten after the test.

1) **The relationship between female education and social liberalism is tenuous at best.**

Colleges full of very conservative middle class women

16 September 2011 Umair Javed @umairjav [^130.4] https://twitter.com/#!/umairjav/status/114554056768356353 Twitter bio and stats on 23 September 2013: Blogger @FiveRupees. interested in politics, desi culture, and sports. Location: Lahore · http://x.dawn.com/author/dawnumairjaved/ - 44,249 tweets. 244 following. 8,514 followers.

Women outnumber men in many university degree programs in Pakistan.

HEY TEENAGERS! YOU THINK SCHOOL IS HARD?

TRY HAVING ENOUGH MONEY FOR RENT!

12 May 2011 Lauren S Smith @laurensamsmith [^130.5] https://twitter.com/#!/laurensamsmith/status/68908339895078913 Her bio and stats on 23 September 2013: #HAMONT journalism student. I'm just here to cause trouble. Location: Hamilton, Ontario. 26,192 tweets. 2,468 following. 2,362 followers.

In last 5 years, my grad school's tuition has risen 53% for residents & non-residents. It's a state school. This is not really sustainable.

22 June 2013 Brandon Friedman ‏@BFriedmanDC [^130.6] https://twitter.com/BFriedmanDC/status/348563528883503106 Bio: VP at FleishmanHillard; former U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs; author of The War I Always Wanted; Truman National Security Fellow. Opinions are my own. Location: Washington, DC · brandonfriedman.tumblr.com/about - 10,582 tweets. 399 following. 5,040 followers.

Elite higher ed like four years in casino hotel.

Pay big money to live in luxury,

gambling your life away.

4 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^130.7] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/341995674923069440 Her Twitter bio and stats on 10 June 2013: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com - 9,008 tweets. 743 following. 6,419 followers. ed = education.

" **What they are defending is a system in which wealth is passed off as merit, credentials not earned but bought.** " [Link]

29 October 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^130.8 and ^130.9 for article cited below] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/395256025692905473 Bio: Writer on politics, economy, media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com - 13,193 tweets. 932 following. 12,288 followers.

The link in the above tweet points to:

"The immorality of college admissions - Wealth is the overriding factor for college admissions, making a farce of institutions that boast of diversity." By Sarah Kendzior, Al Jazeera, 29 October 2013,  http://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/opinion/2013/10/immorality-college-admissions-2013102945841711416.html

Al Jazeera English @AJEnglish [^130.10] Twitter bio on 29 October 2013: Al Jazeera English, the 24-hour English-language news and current affairs channel, headquartered in Doha, Qatar. Follow @AJELive for breaking news alerts. Location: Doha, Qatar · aljazeera.com - 105,291 tweets. 132 following. 1,811,656 followers.

Here is a 5-paragraph quote from Sarah Kendzior's article in Al Jazeera:

"Diversity" is a cherished value of American schools - so long as that diversity does not include students whose families earn less than the tuition fee. Elite universities favour those willing to pay to play - and play again until they win.

Only 3.8 percent of American families make more than $200,000 per year. But at Harvard University, 45.6 percent of incoming freshman come from families making $200,000 or more. A mere 4 percent of Harvard students come from a family in the bottom quintile of US incomes, and only 17.8 percent come from the bottom three quintiles.

"We admit students without any regard for financial need - a policy we call 'need-blind admission'," Harvard's website proudly proclaims. Harvard charges $54,496 per year for tuition, room and board, but waives the fees for families making less than $60,000 per year.

This would be a laudable policy were Harvard admitting low-income students in any significant numbers, but they are not. Instead, they fill their ranks with the children of the elite portrayed in Miller's article - elites who drop hundreds of thousands of dollars on private schools, exorbitant "enrichment" activities, and personal tutors that almost no Americans can afford.

Harvard's admission is "need-blind" only in that it turns a blind eye to actual need. Like many universities, it increases its number of aid recipients by inflating its price tag. With tuition higher than the median US household income, students from families making $200,000 are now deemed poor enough to qualify for financial aid.

[End of the quote from Sarah Kendzior. In her article, Kendzior wrote that Harvard has $30 billion in endowment funds.]

RE: the student loan bubble, the future is too uncertain to be taking-on $100K+, mortgage-like student loans. Preserve your independence!

24 November 2012 Jesse Colombo ‏@TheBubbleBubble [^130.11] https://twitter.com/TheBubbleBubble/status/272482498104135680 His bio: Activist who is warning of a new crop of dangerous economic bubbles. Called one of the Ten People Who Predicted the Financial Meltdown by the London Times. Location: New York · http://www.TheBubbleBubble.com - 9,729 tweets. 14,162 following. 14,276 followers.

Student loans are creating an indentured generation. The biggest debt burdens are often borne by those who accumulated debts in pursuit of degree programs that they failed to complete. They have the debt levels but not the incomes of those who completed their degrees and now earn more in the labor market.

Reply to Jesse Colombo:

@TheBubbleBubble @eyesopened1 When you take on student loans you can make sure you study subject that produces self-extinguishing debt.

24 November 2012 Dave Collum ‏@DavidBCollum [^130.12] https://twitter.com/DavidBCollum/status/272486733801746432 Bio: Prof of Organic Chemistry @ Cornell. Long-time follower of Austrian economics. Libertarian. Love Zero Hedge. Hates NDAA. Goldbug since '99. dbc6@cornell.edu – Location: Cornell University · http://chemistry.cornell.edu/faculty/detail.cfm?netid=dbc6 - 997 tweets. 283 following. 490 followers.

Response:

@DavidBCollum @eyesopened1 Agreed. The problem now is major career uncertainty - bubbles pop and careers become unviable overnight.

24 November 2012 Jesse Colombo ‏@TheBubbleBubble [^130.13] https://twitter.com/TheBubbleBubble/status/272488394481885184 His bio: Activist who is warning of a new crop of dangerous economic bubbles. Called one of the Ten People Who Predicted the Financial Meltdown by the London Times. Location: New York · http://www.TheBubbleBubble.com - 9,729 tweets. 14,162 following. 14,276 followers.

Ppl need to start embracing self-ed - most of what a student learns in a $X,000 English 101 class can be learned in a used $.25 textbook.

24 November 2012 Jesse Colombo ‏@TheBubbleBubble [^130.14] https://twitter.com/TheBubbleBubble/status/272485164649684992 His bio: Activist who is warning of a new crop of dangerous economic bubbles. Called one of the Ten People Who Predicted the Financial Meltdown by the London Times. Location: New York · http://www.TheBubbleBubble.com - 9,729 tweets. 14,162 following. 14,276 followers.

If essential skills (how to write and speak persuasively, for example) could be acquired solely from solitary study with a twenty-five-cent textbook, more of us would have availed ourselves of such opportunities. It is axiomatic that self-education is under-utilized, yet it's also true that the benefits of a good course in the humanities can be transformative, enduring and ultimately priceless. Self-study often _fails_ to lend itself to self-correction. Self-study cannot provide the full range of challenges, structure and stimulation that many of us need in order to develop and grow.

Independent study groups can supplement or supplant classroom learning. Study groups provide opportunities for participants to talk about what they are studying, thereby reinforcing the learning process. Additional options include private tutoring, coaching, mentoring, continuing education classes, and courses at independent, non-degree-granting education centers. Rather than replacing self-study, these options build upon it.

You'd think with college degrees these baristas would know how to make one lousy cup of coffee, but nooooooo!

13 December 2011 Shane @shanethevein [^130.15] https://twitter.com/#!/shanethevein/status/146612908028215296 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: Twitter should be an escape, not a destination. http://favstar.fm/users/shanethevein Location: America's Finest City! · http://shanethevein.tumblr.com/ - 21,001 tweets. 5,385 following. 16,054 followers.

Starbucks was out of those little cardboard sleeves but my barista provided great customer service by letting me use his philosophy degree.

12 September 2011 Buck @buck4itt [^130.16] https://twitter.com/#!/buck4itt/status/113337240243019776 His bio and stats on 5 January 2013: American Humorist in a van wearing loose fitting shorts and holding a puppy. http://favstar.fm/users/buck4itt http://buck4itt.tumblr.com/ Under 18? Go away. Location: Northern California. 4,296 tweets. 9,308 following. 15,550 followers.

Baristas can be found at the top of numerous social hierarchies in Seattle. As reflected in the above tweet, many baristas have taken undergraduate humanities courses, which reinforces their social status and enables them to be more interesting conversationalists and to live more interesting lives, regardless of occupation.

I feel genuine empathy for the poor fools who hope to collect on my student loans

8 March 2013 donni ‏@donni [^130.17] https://twitter.com/donni/status/310179943508226048 His bio: Donni Saphire is my government name. Been talking into lots of microphones lately. Writing a thing. More at TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com ) Still not a cop. Location: Chicago city limits · favstar.fm/users/donni/recent - 9,992 tweets. 899 following. 28,253 followers.

Those acting classes paid off. I've still never married, held a job, or followed any of my dreams.

25 April 2012 D.C. ‏ @Jack_E_Oh [^130.18] https://twitter.com/#!/Jack_E_Oh/status/192388930136588289 No Twitter account with this ID found on 31 July 2013. He appeared to have been tweeting from suburban central New Jersey.

Hi I'm an actress,

May I take your order?

29 March 2011 Nads Cocker Spar @WhoCuppedMyCake [^130.19] https://twitter.com/#!/WhoCuppedMyCake/status/52879156899352576 Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 27 June 2013: Debbie Harry Cooter @WhoCuppedMyCake - http://twtvite.com/Thehangover_yyc I've quelled uprisings. WICKEDNINJACUPCAKES Avi by @galiamango http://favstar.fm/users/WhoCuppedMyCake/recent - Location: Planet Of Sound · http://www.etsy.com/shop/rickwestonart - 49,024 tweets. 3,740 following. 11,233 followers.

America, land of the most well educated bartenders and waitstaff

1 June 2013 Bieber-Meinhoff gang ‏@BrothMan_BEEF [^130.20] https://twitter.com/BrothMan_BEEF/status/340962444979605504 Bio: This Twitter Feed Is Dedicated To All Those Cyberpunks Who Fight Corruption Every Day. Flowing like chili sauce over a weakening nation. 25,039 tweets. 378 following. 788 Followers.

Reply:

@BrothMan_BEEF @aem76us **Tonight I explained the difference between gracile & robust Australopithecines to one of my tables.**

1 June 2013 Ixak ‏@ixakRubicon [^130.21] https://twitter.com/ixakRubicon/status/341052751163314178 His bio: DC-area social scientist with background in anthropology and broad familiarity with Middle East politics & history. Music, food, books, & US politics too. Location: Elsewhere · sentimentec.com \- 5,111 tweets. 1,127 following. 271 followers.

Robust australopithecines are an extinct genus of bipedal hominids noted for their sagittal crest (a ridge of bone running from front to back along the top of the skull), which vaguely resembles that of gorillas. The sagittal crest serves to anchor the muscles used for chewing and grinding. Robust australopithecines may have descended from gracile (slender) australopithecine hominids about 2.7 million years ago.

Humans can have their hair cut into a shape that resembles a sagittal crest.

Do any high-paying and dynamic corporations need a Sanskritist?

8 July 2013 Luther ‏@waxsanskritic [^130.22] https://twitter.com/waxsanskritic/status/354134862627733504 Bio: Slacker philologist extraordinaire. Pondicherry · lutheroutofstation.wordpress.com. 1,269 tweets. 133 following. 97 followers.

Pondicherry is a former French colony in South India and a great place for independent scholars on a low budget. Now a Union Territory of India, it has been renamed Puducherry. It is commonly referred to as Pondy.

_Philologists_ such as the Sanskritist @waxsanskritic engage in textual criticism and historical and comparative linguistics. They seek to determine the meaning of texts. Their skills are acquired through extensive study.

Beyond its relevance to the history of South Asia, Sanskrit literature preserves information about historical figures and events in the history of Christianity, Judaism and Islam, information that has otherwise been lost. The importance of Sanskrit is illustrated by the history of the Bodean chair in Sanskrit at the University of Oxford, which in 1860 was the highest paid academic post at Oxford. It is now the sole surviving Sanskrit professorship in Britain.

Professor Christopher Minkowski is quoted below from his inaugural lecture as the the Boden Professor of Sanskrit. His quote appears as a result of the following tweet exchange:

@waxsanskritic Boden Professor of Sanskrit election, 1860.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boden_Professor_of_Sanskrit_election,_1860 Wild.

6 August 2013 https://twitter.com/aem76us/status/364987959075815424

Points to:

"Boden Professor of Sanskrit election, 1860," Wikipedia, @Wikipedia ^130.23] accessed 6 August 2013. [ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boden_Professor_of_Sanskrit_election,_1860

Reply:

@aem76us fascinating. Here is the inaugural lecture of the current Boden Prof. C. Minkowsky  http://users.ox.ac.uk/~ball2185/Minkowski.Inaugural.pdf

8 August 2013 Luther ‏@waxsanskritic [^130.24] https://twitter.com/waxsanskritic/status/365538423215357953 His bio and stats on 8 August 2013: Luther @waxsanskritic - Slacker philologist extraordinaire. Location: Pondicherry · lutheroutofstation.wordpress.com - 1,366 tweets. 143 following. 99 followers.

The link in ‏@waxsanskritic's tweet above points to this PDF document, which is the source for Minkowski's quote below:

"King David in Oudh: a Bible story in Sanskrit and the Just King at an Afghan court,"

Inaugural Lecture for the Boden Professorship, University of Oxford, by C. Minkowski, ^130.25] 7 March 2006. [ http://users.ox.ac.uk/~ball2185/Minkowski.Inaugural.pdf No Twitter ID was found on 24 September 2013 for Christopher Minkowski.

The inaugural lecture for Oxford's Boden professorship in Sanskrit, delivered by Professor Christopher Minkowski in 2006, includes this description of Sanskrit's position in the academic pantheon:

The premiere Sanskritic disciplines were sciences of language: grammar and linguistics, hermeneutics and interpretation, rhetoric and literary aesthetics. Sanskrit intellectuals working in these disciplines had developed the view that Sanskrit was the only language in which higher forms of reason could be transacted, or powerful thoughts expressed. Over the other languages of South Asia, both vernacular and cosmopolitan, they claimed for Sanskrit a supremacy. And this claim of Sanskrit's almost transcendent authority, though regularly challenged, proved durably successful in many cultural settings on the subcontinent.

The most radical thing one can do is learn a non-modern, non-western language

20 September 2014 Luther ‏@waxsanskritic [130.96] https://twitter.com/waxsanskritic/status/513407178456436736 Bio and stats on 1 October 2014: Slacker philologist extraordinaire. Location: Pondicherry. lutheroutofstation.wordpress.com - 1,957 tweets. 223 following. 150 followers. This tweet has been indexed out-of-sequence because it was added after this chapter was indexed.

• • • • •

**From now on this unicode character indicates an underutilized liberal arts degree** ❦.

13 March 2012 Paul Ford ‏@ftrain [^130.26] https://twitter.com/#!/ftrain/status/179565012795404289 tweet sent from Manhattan NYC. His Twitter bio and stats on14 October 2013: (1974– ) Writer, editor, programmer. Writing a book about web pages for FSG. Contact ford@ftrain.com if you spot a typo. Location: Brooklyn, New York, USA · ftrain.com - 13,985 tweets. 26 following. 14,131 followers.

The tweet shows a typographical glyph (a symbol) of a leaf. The symbol is called a fleuron. The word fleuron originates from floron, the Old French word for flower. Different types of flowers or leaves can be represented by a fleuron, which is also called a printer's flower. Of the different fleuron styles, the one used above is a more recent, stylized version created in a digital font. It shows a heart-shaped leaf of ivy, hanging vertically beneath a vine. A fleuron may be used to indicate an ending, for example, of a story, list, chapter or book.

I brushed her cheek with my hand and said "Girl, let's make some bad decisions" and then we enrolled in law school.

30 August 2012 Artur Bagyants @Bagyants [^130.27] https://twitter.com/Bagyants/status/241260568865013760 His bio and stats on 23 November 2012: Some people grunt at the gym; I scream at the top of my lungs THEY KILLED MY FAMILY as I lift weights. Location: Kansas · http://favstar.fm/users/Bagyants - 486 tweets. 232 following. 6,086 followers.

"A barrister distilled the essential characteristics of his profession for me: "You have to plead whichever side of the case happens to hire you, so you need to be amoral. And then you have to be persuasive. It's the profile of a psychopath.""

Source of the barrister quote above: "The great middle-class identity crisis," by Simon Kuper, FT Magazine, 8 November 2013, http://www.ft.com/cms/s/2/04179370-4741-11e3-b4d3-00144feabdc0.html

Simon Kuper @KuperSimon [^130.28] Twitter bio and stats on 11 December 2013: Financial Times columnist, writer of football books, father etc. Views my own. Location: Paris. 1,603 tweets. 114 following. 25,632 followers.

Financial Times @FT [^130.29] Twitter bio and stats on 11 December 2013: News stories, features and updates from the FT. For headlines follow @financialtimes. Register http://on.ft.com/socialregs for free access to 8 articles p/m. Location: London · ft.com. 47,159 tweets. 585 following. 995,252 followers.

If someone tells you they've gotten a "higher education," it doesn't mean they're smarter than you. It just means they have more debt.

14 October 2011 Noog @NoogsCorner - https://twitter.com/#!/NoogsCorner/status/124944847143583744 Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 23 September 2013: noog @noog [^130.30] ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD. favstar.fm/users/noog. 17,882 tweets. 392 following. 35,287 followers.

If I went to prison you'd hear whispers like "Don't mess with that guy. He's got student loans, he doesn't give a shit."

12 December 2011 Artur Bagyants @Bagyants [^130.31] https://twitter.com/#!/Bagyants/status/146271172219256833 His bio and stats on 23 November 2012: Some people grunt at the gym; I scream at the top of my lungs THEY KILLED MY FAMILY as I lift weights. Location: Kansas · http://favstar.fm/users/Bagyants - 486 tweets. 232 following. 6,086 followers.

There's a homeless guy wearing 'Harvard' sweatpants digging through the trash.

Damn student loans!

9 August 2010 myr ‏@myracles [^130.32] https://twitter.com/myracles/status/20705110341 Her bio and stats on 22 November 2012: wannabe nerd | pretty princess | internet addict. Location: jumping in the air · http://yummyr.tumblr.com - 947 tweets. 235 following. 1,823 followers.

If you can give me three differences between working in an office and attending kindergarten, you probably never went to kindergarten.

27 October 2010 Toya @Toy_A [^130.33] https://twitter.com/#!/Toy_A/status/28868093893 She was in Cape Town, South Africa. No Twitter account found with this ID on 21 July 2013.

By the way she complains about school I can tell my 9yr old will make a great disgruntled employee one day.

19 October 2012 Parentpains ‏@Parentpains [^130.34] https://twitter.com/Parentpains/status/259275188397555714 His bio: I'm just a piece of meat around here, you're probably not even reading this. @suchadumbworld is my bro. View all my tweets at the link below. I RT a lot. Location: Toronto, Canada. http://favstar.fm/users/Parentpains - 17,681 tweets. 2,321 following. 9,599 followers.

I just really hate skool

4 September 2012 Daria ‏@daria_1024 [^130.35] https://twitter.com/daria_1024/status/243132206980136960 Her Twitter bio and stats 10 September 2012: zzzzzzzzz. Location: PA. 2,545 tweets. 226 following. 57 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 2 June 2013: All this for a carton of eggs. Location: PA. 4,938 tweets. 223 following. 80 followers.

I bunked school because I was classtrophobic.

13 July 2013 A.J. ‏@warpedinxs [^130.36] https://twitter.com/warpedinxs/status/356140854567636993 His Twitter bio and stats on 15 July 2013: I am a punter.You want to see my pun? Location: Bangalore,India · favstar.fm/users/warpedinxs \- 7,368 tweets. 285 following. 1,773 followers.

Bunked in Anglo-Indian English refers to staying away from school or work without first obtaining permission.

school reunion: a gathering of people who ruined your childhood

2 June 2013 Shakti Shetty ‏@Shakti_Shetty [^130.37] https://twitter.com/Shakti_Shetty/status/341148181050052609 His bio: 27| engineering-dropout-out-of-choice| philosourpher| antiwordist| pseudofunny| former poet| stand-up journo| lazy human| lazier blogger| opinionated bot. Location: New-Bombay, India · shaktianspace.blogspot.com - 50,788 tweets. 720 following. 14,842 followers.

Your 20s are for dreams. Your 30s are where your dreams go to die in corporate America. Enjoy college while you still think it matters.

16 February 2012 farleftcoast @farleftcoast [^130.38] https://twitter.com/#!/farleftcoast/status/170278361002819584 Bio and stats on 19 December 2012: Before I get my hair cut I whisper to the stylist: If you fuck up my hair I'll burn your salon down. I love @thedailymarker so much I put a ring on his finger. Location: The Dock of the Bay · http://favstar.fm/users/farleftcoast - 43,848 tweets. 840 following. 13,578 followers.

My essay for graduate school reeks of bullshit and broken dreams disguised as lessons learned.

22 January 2011 Sputnik Sweetheart @Verlieren [^130.39] https://twitter.com/#!/Verlieren/status/28895155067031552 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: Creator of Google, previously psychotic person. Not to make you fall in love with me but I probably don't have AIDS. http://tinyurl.com/verinstagram - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001856/ - 11,012 tweets. 548 following. 14,712 followers.

What, internet ad? Do I want a degree in Women's Studies? No. I already specialized in that, my life is wretched enough by now.

1 November 2011 Sputnik Sweetheart @Verlieren [^130.40] https://twitter.com/#!/Verlieren/status/131403817840410625 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: Creator of Google, previously psychotic person. Not to make you fall in love with me but I probably don't have AIDS. http://tinyurl.com/verinstagram - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001856/ - 11,012 tweets. 548 following. 14,712 followers.

Congrats On Graduation! I'm giving you flowers that will wilt and a balloon that will deflate as a metaphor for your optimism!

31 May 2012 foxy j ‏@idreamofmayo [^130.41] https://twitter.com/idreamofmayo/status/208376952644583424 Her bio and stats on 18 November 2012: kid at heart but not liver http://favstar.fm/users/idreamofmayo Location: (Hou/Bo) ston. 3,402 tweets. 231 following. 329 followers. No account with this ID found on 7 April 2013. Tweeted upon graduation from high school in the US.

am i supposed to feel excited upon graduating? i just feel nothing

5 December 2013 Sputnik Sweetheart ‏@Verlieren [^130.42] https://twitter.com/Verlieren/status/408647410257108992 Her Twitter bio and stats on 17 December 2013: Lead singer of Crossbow Abortion. Not to make you fall in love with me but I probably don't have AIDS. http://tinyurl.com/verinstagram - 14,963 tweets. 436 following. 16,405 followers.

My drop-out student just hired your honor roll student.

18 July 2012 Ryan Armentrout ‏@ryaninco [^130.43] https://twitter.com/ryaninco/status/225642782910447617 His bio and stats on 2 November 2012: Traveling the U.S. like a gypsy, only I take a shower daily. Instagram Ryaninco. Location: I get around · http://favstar.fm/users/ryaninco - 22,000 tweets. 5,016 following. 13,127 followers.

Dropped out of skydiving school

23 June 2013 donni ‏@donni [^130.44] https://twitter.com/donni/status/348951121898921984 Twitter bio and stats on 24 June 2013: I'm Donni Saphire and I approve this beverage. I write, say, and appear at comedy things. Also TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com ) Manatees are cool. Location: Chicago city limits · favstar.fm/users/donni/recent - 10,208 tweets. 898 following. 31,472 followers.

People are talking about their majors. History? Anthropology? Journalism? Do these people like to eat? Or money?

7 September 2011 Sputnik Sweetheart @Verlieren [^130.45] https://twitter.com/#!/Verlieren/status/111579746437046273 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: Creator of Google, previously psychotic person. Not to make you fall in love with me but I probably don't have AIDS. http://tinyurl.com/verinstagram - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001856/ - 11,012 tweets. 548 following. 14,712 followers. Tweeting in Utah.

That the admin world is frequently awash with Humanities refugees who are there for expediency's sake rather than desire should trouble us.

22 September 2013 James Hester ‏@appliedhistory [^130.46] https://twitter.com/appliedhistory/status/381371868600475648 Bio: I'm a strategist cunningly disguised as an historian. Using relevant insights from the past, I offer solutions to better navigate the present and the future. Location: Boston, MA · appliedhistory.co.uk - 2,639 tweets. 97 following. 260 followers.

Admin world refers to university administrations.

Thinking of going to art college so I can become a barista.

11 July 2012 Anjeanette Carter ‏@anjeanettec [^130.47] https://twitter.com/anjeanettec/status/223152708104896514 Her Twitter bio and stats on 23 September 2013: Writer. Actor. Blogger. Nerdist. HelloGiggles. TIME Magazine's Best Twitter Feeds of 2012. Instagram: anjeanettec. 2,133 tweets. 411 following. 28,269 followers.

Hey, college students: It gets debtor.

10 September 2011 Donni Saphire @donni [^130.48] https://twitter.com/#!/donni/status/113091744517718016 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Comedy sand wedge. Writer, performer, fledgling opener, packet submitter. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Sea cows probably never see cows. Location: Chicago City Of Wind · http://qr.net/donni - 9,640 tweets. 839 following. 25,773 followers.

The more I visit Shantiniketan, the more I get convinced about the uselessness of an enclosed classroom concept.

17 December 2011 Ipsita Shome @Ipsita_Shome [^130.49] https://twitter.com/#!/Ipsita_Shome/status/148253976926765056 Ipsita had recently completed high school in Kolkata and was considering her next moves, which began with the study of history. On 12 July 2014 this tweet was found to have been deleted and her account replaced by: IPSITA SHOME @missMAUVERINE - meethi chhuri – Location: kolkata,india. No tweets. 1 following. 1 follower.

Shantiniketan or Santiniketan is a small town known for its non-traditional post-secondary educational institutions, most notably Visva-Bharati University. The university was founded by Rabindranath Tagore with funds from the Nobel Prize for Literature that Tagore was awarded in 1913 for his poetry collection Gitanjali. Shantiniketan is located in the interior of West Bengal, 180 kilometers north of Kolkata. It is also the name of a gated retirement community in South Florida that caters to people of Indian origin.

The double betrayal of a modern liberal arts education: it neither teaches you how to live nor how to work.

23 January 2010 Alain de Botton @alaindebotton [^130.50] http://twitter.com/alaindebotton/status/8117210600 His bio and stats on 15 January 2013: Writer; most recently of 'Religion for Atheists'. Location: London · http://tinyurl.com/chcbro9 - 555 tweets. 4,420 following. 308,786 followers.

Academia needs to perpetually reconsider the skills and knowledge it imparts. It also needs to shorten the time spent obtaining doctorate degrees, which in the humanities can require almost a decade of graduate education and scholarship.

This is so much better than what they taught me at school.

25 March 2014 50% More Slime ‏@navanax [^130.51] https://twitter.com/navanax/status/448704799614455808 Bio: Humor is not just my defence; it is also my primary mode of attack. Location: The Big Smoke. 4,074 tweets. 1,715 following. 6,049 followers.

• • • • •

" **Self-control and conscientiousness (are) traits that often predict success in the real world better than IQ scores**." [Link]

3 May 2012 midtowngirl ‏@_Midtowngirl [^130.52] https://twitter.com/#!/_Midtowngirl/status/198225249240756227 Bio and stats on 16 March 2013: Investment Banking.100% Nerd. @Columbia alumni. Native NY'er (Born & Raised on the Upper West Side) with typical cynical outlook on life only true NYers have. Location: Midtown, Manhattan. 11,091 tweets. 179 following. 499 followers.

The above tweet links to: "Taking Knowledge Out of College," by Jonah Lehrer, @jonahlehrer, The Wall Street Journal, @WSJ, 27 April 2012, http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702303459004577363892373762930.html

Jonah Lehrer screen name, ID, bio and stats on 5 February 2013: jonahlehrer @jonahlehrer [^130.53] jonahlehrer.com – Location: Los Angeles · http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/frontal-cortex - 1,814 tweets. 600 following. 46,136 followers. His most recent tweet on 5 February 2013 was dated 17 June 2012. Jonah, please come back.

Bio and stats of the Wall Street Journal @WSJ [^130.54] on 5 February 2013: Breaking news and features from The Wall Street Journal. Tweets by @rubinafillion @fieldproducer @demetria_g @elanazak and @lheron. Location: New York, NY · http://wsj.com - 45,372 tweets. 506 following. 2,476,488 followers.

Jonah Lehrer cites a study by the sociologists Richard Arum and Josipa Roksa that found that almost half of all college students show scant improvements in critical thinking and writing skills during their first two years as undergraduates. The sociologists also found that much of what students learn is promptly forgotten after exams are over.

For the typical college student, college has become a leisure activity, the sociologists said, with only 13 hours per week spent studying compared to 40 hours per week taken up by socializing.

Lehrer observes that early childhood education boosts character traits such as self-control, conscientiousness and other non-cognitive skills. "Such traits often predict success in the real world better than I.Q. scores. And yet, colleges don't even attempt to improve them," Lehrer said. "Students are never taught how to regulate their emotions or study for a test. They don't learn how to take criticism or cope with failure."

• • • • •

Education is not synonymous with intelligence.

25 February 2012 Micayla ‏@LayDbibo [^130.55] https://twitter.com/LayDbibo/status/173605235309285377 Her bio and stats on 2 November 2012: Maybe you need to be offended. I can help. Antihero, atheist, feminist, DID. I say fuck and re-tweet a lot. Rabid and vulgar, at times, calm and silky at others. Location: Somewhere down the crazy river · http://laydbibo.com - 32,482 tweets. 307 following. 1,381 followers.

a father teaching his son to use a search engine: "you can just try things. it's okay to get it wrong. you get as many tries as you need."

6 September 2011 myrrh @myrrh [^130.56] https://twitter.com/#!/myrrh/status/111220733488795648 Twitter bio and stats on 6 June 2013: paraphrasing rauschenberg: this is a portrait of myrrh larsen if i say so. or, to quote emerson: "life consists in what a man is thinking of all day." Location: rosarius urbis. 14,543 tweets. 141 following. 717 followers.

Learning method that works for me:

You do, I watch,

we do together,

I do, you watch.

23 April 2013 Jeremiah Owyang ‏@jowyang [^130.57] https://twitter.com/jowyang/status/326814555269394432 His bio: Industry Analyst, Partner at Altimeter Group. Some tweets publish on timer. How I use Twitter http://bit.ly/LK0i - Location: Silicon Valley, CA · http://web-strategist.com/blog - 40,095 tweets. 13,933 following. 127,353 followers. Bio and stats on 27 April 2015: Founder of http://CrowdCompanies.com @CrowdCompanies, and housemate to @goodboyrumba – Location: Silicon Valley, CA - web-strategist.com/blog - 57,709 tweets. 18,513 following. 161,010 followers.

To me, education doesn't matter as much as what you do with it.

13 June 2012 Jeremiah Owyang ‏@jowyang [^130.58] https://twitter.com/jowyang/status/213064566660268033 His bio and stats on 18 November 2012: Industry Analyst, Partner at Altimeter Group. Some tweets publish on timer. How I use Twitter http://bit.ly/LK0i - Location: Silicon Valley, CA · http://web-strategist.com/blog - 36,460 tweets. 13,132 following. 115,905 followers. Bio and stats on 27 April 2015: Founder of http://CrowdCompanies.com @CrowdCompanies, and housemate to @goodboyrumba - Location: Silicon Valley, CA - web-strategist.com/blog - 57,709 tweets. 18,513 following. 161,010 followers.

• • • • •

Thomas L. Friedman distinguishes between four types of potential hires:

Van Ton-Quinlivan, the vice chancellor for work force and economic development at the California Community Colleges System, explained to me the four basic skill sets out there today. The first are people who are " _ready now_." That's people with exactly the right skills an employer is looking for at the right time. Employers will give the local labor market and schools the first chance at providing those people, but if they are not available they'll go the "shortest distance to find them," she said, and today that could be anywhere in the world. Companies who can't find "ready now" will look for " _ready soon_ ," people who, with limited training and on-the-job experience, can fit right in. If they can't find those, some will hire " _work ready_." These are people with two or four years of postsecondary education who can be trained, but companies have shrinking budgets for that now and want public schools to do it. Last are the growing legions of the " _far from ready_ ," people who dropped out or have only a high school diploma. Their prospects for a decent job are small, even if they are ready to "work hard and play by the rules."

The paragraph above is quoted from: "New Rules," by Thomas L. Friedman, The New York Times, opinion section, 8 September 2012. https://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/09/opinion/sunday/friedman-new-rules.html Italics added to Friedman's quote above.

Thomas L. Friedman @tomfriedman [^130.59] Twitter bio and stats on 8 September 2012: Thomas L. Friedman NY Times columnist and Pulitzer Prize winning author of Lexus and the Olive Tree and From Beirut to Jerusalem. Location: New York, NY. 273 tweets. 94 following. 133,836 followers. He filed the column above from Shanghai, China.

Van Ton-Quinlivan @WorkforceVan [^130.60] Twitter bio and stats on 9 February 2014: W/ 15+ yrs industry leadership, I joined the CA Community Colleges as the system's vice chancellor for workforce & econ dvlpmt, focusing on jobs and economy. Location: Sacramento, CA · DoingWhatMatters.cccco.edu – 836 tweets. 347 following. 711 followers.

The New York Times @nytimes [^130.61] Twitter bio and stats on 26 January 2013: Where the Conversation Begins. Follow for breaking news, special reports, http://NYTimes.com homepage links and RTs of our journalists. Location: New York City · http://www.nytimes.com/ - 98,183 tweets. 731 following. 7,289,918 followers.

Thomas L. Friedman argues in favor of increased support for and participation in community colleges, Pell grants and vocational-training classes.

Saritha Rai, in Bengaluru, on the importance of on-the-job and in-service training:

"The crux of the problem is that critical thinking, problem solving and the application of concepts are skills in short supply in fresh engineers," says Srikantan Tan Moorthy, head of education and research at leading outsourcer Infosys. They are also weak in technical skills, soft skills and English proficiency, he says...

For those who are not readily employable, the largest IT employers spend millions of dollars running extensive classroom-type training schemes in subjects such as English grammar and programming basics. These sessions typically last several months and make engineers job-ready.

[End of two quotes from Saritha Rai, separated by an ellipsis.]

Source: "Indian outsourcing: Why skills shortages persist despite the graduate glut," by Saritha Rai, Tech Republic, 20 June 2012.  http://www.techrepublic.com/blog/cio-insights/indian-outsourcing-why-skills-shortages-persist-despite-the-graduate-glut/39748897

Saritha Rai @SarithaRai [^130.62] Twitter bio and stats on 23 September 2013: Saritha Rai is a journalist and columnist based in Bangalore, India. Location: Bangalore, INDIA. 287 tweets. 34 following. 1,330 followers.

Srikantan Tan Moorthy [^130.63] no Twitter ID found on 23 September 2013 and 20 July 2014.

TechRepublic @TechRepublic [^130.64] Twitter bio and stats on 23 September 2013: Global publication and peer-to-peer community for technology decision makers. USA | UK | Australia · techrepublic.com. 25,451 tweets. 49 following. 63,850 followers.

@rejecter in Sweden:

I work with engineers every day. They're no more stupid than other people, just more convinced of the opposite.

4 January 2013 rjctr ‏@rejecter [^130.65] https://twitter.com/rejecter/status/287113963920035842 Stats: 17,144 tweets. 274 following. 4,532 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 24 September 2013: She can read, she can read, she can read, she's bad. Location: Västerås. 19,573 tweets. 300 following. 4,400 followers.

Open questions:

— How to teach skills in critical thinking, problem solving and the application of concepts?

— Or rather, how can those skills be learned?

• • • • •

What we need aren't "technical skills". We need interdisciplinary problem-solving skills.

http://shrd.by/owf8jl

22 January 2013 Crispin J. Burke ‏@CrispinBurke ^130.66] https://twitter.com/CrispinBurke/status/293698676168216576 His bio and stats on 26 January 2013: Army Aviator, US military blogger, self-described pocketful of awesomeness. Does not represent the views of the Department of Defense. Location: San Antonio, Texas · http://about.me/crispinburke - 35,524 tweets. 1,264 following. 2,696 followers. Crispin J. Burke's articles in Medium: https://medium.com/@CrispinBurke - The link above points to: [http://wingsoveriraq.com/2013/01/21/testing123/

Crispin J. Burke's post in _Wings Over Iraq_ , cited above, responds to the argument that the military needs more leaders with technical educations. In reviewing the history of warplane design, Burke describes the value of humanities courses and interdisciplinary problem-solving skills.

Crispin J. Burke:

Instead of focusing on a particular degree field, let's concentrate on what military leaders really need: the **ability to solve problems** , which stems from an **interdisciplinary approach to problem-solving**.

Let's take the example of a program developer for a major weapons system. Certainly, engineering skills are important. But weapons development rarely takes place in a vacuum–there are important economic, geopolitical, and domestic political forces which shape weapons development and procurement. Though program managers in the Army's Acquisition Corps may not see themselves as strategic leaders, strategy often drives procurement.

First, weapons specifications are often the result of distinct strategic policy goals, doctrine, and indeed, geography. The design of fighter aircraft during the Cold War, for instance, often reflected each side's strategic culture (page 101). Soviet fighters were designed primarily as point-defense interceptors, serving close to their main base of operation, often supported by surface-to-air missiles and radar coverage. As such, the geopolitical situation of the Soviet Union and its proxy, the Peoples' Republic of Vietnam, drove the design of fighter craft.

American fighters, by contrast, operated under an offensive doctrine, which drove the design of fighters such as the F-15 (and, by extension, the F-22). Expected to penetrate Soviet Airspace, they required long range, large missile loads, and their own independent radar systems.

As such, Soviet-designed aircraft, such as the MiG-21, tended to be more maneuverable than their heavier American counterparts during the Vietnam era. The Americans' woes were only compounded, as the Ault Report revealed that air-to-air missiles of the era were notoriously ineffective. Losses to maneuverable fighters and surface-to-air missiles meant that American fighters needed long-range, large missile loads, independent radar systems, plus high maneuverability, air-to-air cannons, and ultimately, stealth capabilities. A broad understanding of statistical analysis, international relations, geopolitics, and engineering greatly aided designers working on the F-15 and F-16 fighter jets.

Quoted from: "An Open Response to 'Why the U.S. Military Needs More Leaders with Technical Educations'" in Wings Over Iraq. http://wingsoveriraq.com/2013/01/21/testing123/ Posted on 21 January 2013 by Starbuck (Crispin J. Burke's screen name). Underlining added above.

Wings Over Iraq is notable for its Defense Briefings, which collect and summarize important US defense news.

Crispin J. Burke ‏@CrispinBurke ^130.67] Twitter bio and stats on 26 January 2013: Army Aviator, US military blogger, self-described pocketful of awesomeness. Does not represent the views of the Department of Defense. Location: San Antonio, Texas · http://about.me/crispinburke - 35,524 tweets. 1,264 following. 2,696 followers. Crispin J. Burke's articles in Medium: [https://medium.com/@CrispinBurke

The link above to page 101 points to:

The Revolt of the Majors: How the Air Force Changed After Vietnam, a Ph.D dissertation by Marshal L. Michel III, 16 December 2006.  http://etd.auburn.edu/etd/bitstream/handle/10415/595/MICHEL_III_55.pdf?sequence=1

The link above to the Ault report points to the "Ault Report" entry in Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ault_Report

Here Jonathan Brunskill comments on a shift in educational policies in the UK in 2012-2013 to emphasize rote learning and STEM, as defined below:

...we should challenge the flimsy assertion at the heart of the debate: that STEM (Science Technology Engineering and Mathematics) degrees are more useful to society than BAs. In the BBC's excellent _Science Britannica_ , Brian Cox identified the Achilles' heel of science down the ages – its general inability to communicate its ideas effectively. As a result, key scientific breakthroughs throughout history have been met with suspicion from the public at large.

Communicating complex ideas in a balanced, intelligible manner is, of course, precisely the skill developed through BA programmes. At the moment Britain is actually a world leader in important industries like law, journalism and advertising: industries that place a premium on these skills.

Ironically, an attack on the arts that is justified by our supposed losses in the Global Race may in fact itself engender exactly that result.

Source: "What do you do with a Bachelor of Arts?" by Jonathan Brunskill, London Student, 31 October 2013, http://london-student.net/comment/10/31/bachelor-arts/

Jonathan Brunskill [^130.68] no Twitter ID identified on 1 November 2013.

London Student @LondonStudent [^130.69] Twitter bio and stats on 1 November 2013: Europe's largest student newspaper - the voice of over 120,000 students. Editor: @owebb. On Facebook: http://goo.gl/IuZw0A - Location: London · london-student.net - 2,710 tweets. 477 following. 7,465 followers.

Studying the humanities does not lead to a job.

College, internships and jobs also do not lead to jobs.

Study the humanities.

22 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^130.70] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/348627754129956866 Bio: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com - 9,433 tweets. 765 following. 6,956 followers.

The humanities can help you make sense of your life and the lives of others.

Writing well is thinking well and arguing well. It's a transferable skill that cannot be automated.

22 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^130.71] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/348636211121897472 Bio: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com - 9,433 tweets. 765 following. 6,956 followers.

Students need to learn how to look at situations from the perspective of other people, just as writers need to constantly put themselves in their readers' places.

Writing skills can give you the power to define a situation. Whoever defines a situation may consequently be able to control it.

• • • • •

**Scary future split: "People who tell computers what to do + people who are told by computers what to do."** http://usat.ly/U7R4ox v. @Zeitguide

28 December 2012 Jake Barton ‏@Jake_Barton [^130.72] https://twitter.com/Jake_Barton/status/284888484261527553 Bio: Jake Barton is founder of Local Projects, an award-winning media design firm for museums and public spaces. Location: New York City · http://localprojects.net - 1,411 tweets. 311 following. 3,364 followers.

ZEITGUIDE @Zeitguide [^130.73] Twitter bio and stats on 4 February 2014: ZEITGUIDE is Grossman & Partners' content platform that guides our audience through the leading-edge issues in our constantly changing culture. Website: · zeitguide.com – 764 tweets. 355 following. 447 tweets.

Changes in the workforce are being propelled by technology, globalization and a decline in the middle class, said Marc Andreessen in this article by Tim Mullaney, which Jake Barton's above tweet points to:

"Jobs fight: Haves vs. the have-nots," by Tim Mullaney, USA TODAY, 16 September 2012.  http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/money/business/story/2012/09/16/jobs-fight-haves-vs-the-have-nots/57778406/1

Twitter bio and stats of Marc Andreessen @pmarca [^130.74] on 28 December 2012: 2 tweets. 16 following. 15,603 followers.

Twitter bio and stats of tim mullaney @timmullaney [^130.75] on 28 December 2012: Economics reporter for USA Today. Location: NYC · http://www.usatoday.com - 150 tweets. 150 following. 156 followers.

Twitter bio and stats of USA TODAY @USATODAY [^130.76] on 28 December 2012: The latest news headlines and interesting stories from http://USATODAY.com 's top news, plus tweets from our social media team. Location: USA TODAY HQ, McLean, Va. · http://www.usatoday.com - 53,005 tweets. 523 following. 447,311 followers.

From Tim Mullaney's article:

"The spread of computers and the Internet will put jobs in two categories," Andreessen says. "People who tell computers what to do, and people who are told by computers what to do."

Decades of political issues will follow that split, he says. The division between the masters of machines and those who take orders from them will feed even greater income inequality in the years ahead, he says....

"There's no such thing as median income; there's a curve, and it really matters what side of the curve you're on," he says. "There's no such thing as the middle class. It's absolutely vanishing."

In contrast to Crispin J. Burke, Marc Andreessen argues in favor of engineering-only post-secondary training. A problem with engineering-only training for software development is that a software developer's skills may only have a half-life of six months. New languages and technologies emerge so quickly that being a good developer also requires being a good life-long learner.

Engineering training, on its own, does not provide a good basis for lifelong learning. Another problem is that without domain expertise in specific subject areas, developers may fail to recognize what their products need to accomplish. Developers with narrow approaches to their work may be unable or unwilling to build products that people need. Such developers will inevitably find themselves in conflict with clients and end users. Last but not least, engineers need to be good communicators, which calls for liberal arts studies in addition to engineering courses. Along with persuasive writing and speaking, journalism copy editing and writing classes can be particularly helpful. Those words again: _copy editing_.

Our education systems for training engineers were set up during the industrial era. Schools are like factories. They teach skills with the expectation that students will use them throughout their working lives. This is no longer the case.

Discussions about alternatives to the current educational system are often biased toward online or remote learning, which is cheaper and allows students to migrate virtually to the best lecturers and course materials available globally. Paradoxically, this can weaken local institutional capabilities by degrading the functions and roles of local instructors. This reduces upward career-mobility within academic institutions and can weaken educational systems as a whole. Teaching entry-level courses prepares junior faculty for more challenging assignments. If lower-level courses are automated, this will eventually have a negative effect on the quality of higher-level courses too.

In remote teaching, it is often impossible for instructors to pick up on non-verbal clues and adapt accordingly. It is harder for remote instructors to understand their students, to mentor and inspire them, and to remain motivated to do so.

Humans are an extremely social species. Our social abilities enable us to compensate for our physical frailties relative to other animals. Remote learning deprives us of much of the power of human sociability. For example, how often have you worked harder on an exercise in order to impress another student (or the instructor) in a remote learning environment, compared to doing so for a classroom setting?

Classroom environments can produce results that are greater than the sum of their parts. The synergism between reading something and then discussing it reinforces learning and produces better insights than either reading or discussion separately.

The social nature of human interaction can engage and motivate students in ways that remote learning cannot. The imitative aspects of classroom experiences can enhance learning. Peer pressure is a powerful force in classroom environments, but is largely absent from online courses. We are inspired and challenged by others in face-to-face interactions. The friendships and professional contacts created in real-world academic settings cannot be reproduced to the same degree with remote education.

Online courses have higher failure rates than classroom offerings. It is harder for students to pay attention without the immersive classroom experience. Remote students often cannot or will not ask questions. Professors cannot see their students. Students are all atomized at home, where they cannot easily form or participate in study groups.

Source of information paraphrased in the above paragraph: Der Kosmonaut interview [^186.88], Caffé Vita, Capitol Hill, Seattle, 30 January 2015. Cited out of sequence here because it was added late. Additional information can be found in the bibliography in the entry for Der Kosmonaut.

Remote education does a poor job of helping students communicate what they have learned. The absence of onsite student-support facilities, face-to-face personal attention, and real-world informal access to a larger academic community makes it harder for remote-education experiences to gel, and for students to remain adequately challenged, directed and engaged. The tendency in remote education is for students to rush through the learning process, and for education to become a more superficial, isolating experience.

' **We are creating Walmarts of higher education—convenient, cheap, and second-rate**.'

http://theatln.tc/1cTJgxB

26 December 2013 The Atlantic ‏@TheAtlantic [^130.77 and ^130.78 for quotes below] https://twitter.com/TheAtlantic/status/416464212446048256 Twitter bio and stats on 26 December 2013: Feed for The Atlantic magazine and http://TheAtlantic.com . Politics, business, technology, entertainment, health, global affairs. Managed by @c_heller. Location: Washington, D.C. · theatlantic.com. 51,141 tweets. 936 following. 399,715 followers.

The link in the tweet points to:

"'We Are Creating Walmarts of Higher Education' - As colleges feel pressure to graduate more students for less money, professors worry that the value of an education may be diminished," by Timothy Pratt, The Atlantic,  http://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2013/12/we-are-creating-walmarts-of-higher-education/282619/

Timothy Pratt @TimothyJPratt [^130.79 and ^130.80 for quote below] Twitter bio and stats on 26 December 2013: Reporter, writer, translator. Passions:: family, futbol, single malt, beer and ribs. A great story. Location: Atlanta area. 154 tweets. 44 following. 55 followers.

The Atlantic article was produced by The Hechinger Report, a nonprofit, nonpartisan education-news outlet based at Teachers College, Columbia University.

The Hechinger Report @hechingerreport [^130.81] Twitter bio and stats on 27 December 2013: Informing the public about education through quality journalism @s_garl @sarahbutro @jonmarcusboston @sarah_e_carr @jackiemader @jillbarshay – Location: New York City · hechingerreport.org - 6,223 tweets. 4,906 following. 15,021 followers.

The title of Timothy Pratt's article originates from this quote, which appears in his article:

"We are creating Walmarts of higher education—convenient, cheap, and second-rate," says Karen Arnold, associate professor at the Educational Leadership and Higher Education Department at Boston College.

Karen Arnold [^130.82 and ^130.83 for quote below] No Twitter ID identified on 26 December 2013. Academic profile: http://www.bc.edu/content/bc/schools/lsoe/facultystaff/faculty/arnold.html

Karen Arnold had this to say about massive open online courses, or MOOCs, which a study by the University of Pennsylvania Graduate School of Education found enjoyed a 4% completion rate among those MOOCs studied:

Thousands are looking at this. But few are finishing the courses.

In the end, education is an interpersonal endeavor.

[End of Karen Arnold's quote. Underlining added.]

The Penn study referenced above:

"Penn GSE Study Shows MOOCs Have Relatively Few Active Users, With Only a Few Persisting to Course End," University of Pennsylvania Graduate School of Education, 5 December 2013, http://www.gse.upenn.edu/pressroom/press-releases/2013/12/penn-gse-study-shows-moocs-have-relatively-few-active-users-only-few-persisti

Timothy Pratt's article opens:

Universities in South Dakota, Nebraska, and other states have cut the number of credits students need to graduate. A proposal in Florida would let online courses forgo the usual higher-education accreditation process. A California legislator introduced a measure that would have substituted online courses for some of the brick-and-mortar kind at public universities.

Some campuses of the University of North Carolina system are mulling getting rid of history, political science, and various others of more than 20 "low productive" programs. The University of Southern Maine may drop physics. And governors in Florida, North Carolina and Wisconsin have questioned whether taxpayers should continue subsidizing public universities for teaching the humanities.

Under pressure to turn out more students, more quickly and for less money, and to tie graduates' skills to workforce needs, higher-education institutions and policy makers have been busy reducing the number of required credits, giving credit for life experience, and cutting some courses, while putting others online.

Now critics are raising the alarm that speeding up college and making it cheaper risks dumbing it down. "We all want to have more students graduate and graduate in a more timely manner," says Rudy Fichtenbaum, president of the American Association of University Professors. "The question is, do you do this by lowering your standards?"

• • • • •

Technology has replaced the "average" job that once nurtured middle class living.

23 January 2013 John David Ramirez ‏@johnramirez [^130.84] https://twitter.com/johnramirez/status/294306825443106817 Bio: Building.. Location: New York, USA · http://johndavidramirez.com - 655 tweets. 689 following. 115 followers.

( **robots are the new middle class** )

Source: James Altucher in his caption of a photograph of a robot that appears in "10 Reasons Why You Have to Quit Your Job This Year," by James Altucher on his blog, The Altucher Confidential – Ideas for a World Out of Balance, January 2013. http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2013/01/10-reasons-why-you-have-to-quit-your-job-this-year/

Twitter bio and stats on 19 April 2013 of James Altucher @jaltucher [^130.85] For some reason, I've turned myself inside out and all my guts have spilled onto my blog. One day I'll run out of stuff but not yet. Location: NYC · http://jamesaltucher.com - 14,424 tweets. 2,096 following. 86,724 followers.

Being smarter than a robot is the new having a job.

4 February 2013 Christopher Mims ‏@mims [^130.86] https://twitter.com/mims/status/298555234110803969 Bio: Technology and science reporter for @QuartzNews. Tips: christopher@qz.com – Location: Baltimore, New York · http://slipr.com - 29,148 tweets. 2,830 following. 11,007 followers.

Instead of being smarter or cheaper than a robot, another option would be to _add value_ to the output of computers and robots. The above tweet by Christopher Mims prompted a discussion about robots versus humans:

Being cheaper and more easily programmed than a robot is the new getting-by

@mims

4 February 2013 Chris B ‏@a_small_lab [^130.87] https://twitter.com/a_small_lab/status/298556101287374848 His bio: Combining research into creative climates for cities, organizations, humans and tools with practice in (non)design, making, publishing, and (not)consulting. Location: Tokyo, Japan · http://www.a-small-lab.com - 13,996 tweets. 1,172 following. 1,684 followers.

@a_small_lab **Right. Robots still can't do emotional labor.**

http://tv.msnbc.com/2013/02/01/how-companies-force-emotional-labor-on-low-wage-service-workers/...

4 February 2013 Christopher Mims ‏@mims [^130.88] https://twitter.com/mims/status/298556498068512768 Bio: Technology and science reporter for @QuartzNews. Tips: christopher@qz.com – Location: Baltimore, New York · http://slipr.com - 29,148 tweets. 2,830 following. 11,007 followers.

The link in Christopher Mims' tweet points to:

"How companies force 'emotional labor' on low-wage workers," by Ned Resnikoff, @resnikoff on The Ed Show, @edshow, on msnbc @msnbc, 1 February 2013  http://tv.msnbc.com/2013/02/01/how-companies-force-emotional-labor-on-low-wage-service-workers/

Ned Resnikoff @resnikoff [^130.89] Twitter bio and stats on 4 February 2013: Blogger for @edshow, mostly covering labor. Send tips to ned.resnikoff@msnbc.com – Location: Brooklyn, NY · http://tv.msnbc.com/author/resnikoff/ - 20,755 tweets. 662 following. 3,618 followers.

Ed Schultz @edshow [^130.90] Twitter bio and stats on 4 February 2013: The Ed Show airs 8 p.m. ET Mondays-Fridays on msnbc. Location: New York, NY · http://ed.msnbc.com - 13,046 tweets. 709 following. 139,739 followers.

msnbc @msnbc [^130.91] Twitter bio and stats on 4 February 2013 The destination for in-depth analysis of daily headlines, insightful political commentary & informed perspectives. #msnbcpics http://on.msnbc.com/RpcrlD - http://tv.msnbc.com - 31,080 tweets. 278 following. 363,763 followers.

"How companies force 'emotional labor' on low-wage workers," by Ned Resnikoff above, opens with this paragraph:

A Starbucks barista's job is more than just serving coffee. She also needs to be polite, even friendly, to the customers. If she does her job correctly, then maybe the customer will walk away feeling like the barista was actually happy to serve him—that it was not only her job, but a genuine pleasure. In many jobs, that sort of projected enthusiasm may just be a way of earning some additional tips on top of the employee's base pay. But in other lines of work—including the occupations which fuel America's growing low-wage service sector—proper emotional responses are mandatory.

. @mims **not yet. and they can't be emotionally manipulated. and they don't sweat at night about paying the rentfoodkidseducationadinfinitum**

4 February 2013 Chris B ‏@a_small_lab [^130.92] https://twitter.com/a_small_lab/status/298561643959418880 His bio: Combining research into creative climates for cities, organizations, humans and tools with practice in (non)design, making, publishing, and (not)consulting. Location: Tokyo, Japan · http://www.a-small-lab.com - 13,996 tweets. 1,172 following. 1,684 followers.

@mims **the "doing something a robot can't" will be the job markets of the future.**

4 February 2013 John David Ramirez ‏@johnramirez [^130.93] https://twitter.com/johnramirez/status/298570540564746240 Bio: Building.. Location: New York, USA · http://johndavidramirez.com - 655 tweets. 689 following. 115 followers.

@mims **what about complimenting the abilities of robots? Outperform the sum of its parts?**

@PaulBarter #RaceAgainstTheMachine

4 February 2013 Shaun Lai ‏@laishaun [^130.94] https://twitter.com/laishaun/status/298612169321349121 His bio: On an eternal quest in the pursuit of wisdom, boldly going where no man has gone before. To Costco! Location: Singapore. 85 tweets. 44 following. 21 followers.

• • • • •

I failed Beauty School so I decided to become a Computer Technician.

This is not a joke but my family thinks it's hilarious.

19 December 2012 Misha BBQJones ‏@mishakey [^130.95] https://twitter.com/mishakey/status/281476915926274048 Her bio and stats on 1 January 2013: I'm actually a pretty terrible person once you get to know me. Location: The Trailer Park, Texas · http://favstar.fm/users/mishakey - 18,013 tweets. 14,882 following. 16,682 followers.

• • • • •

Robots and artificial intelligence will render many jobs redundant and are predicted to lead to unprecedented levels of joblessness. The return on capital, although sometimes meager at best, will nonetheless outstrip and then largely negate the return on labor. Unemployed people lack spending power, so boosting their numbers creates deflationary pressures. Consumer spending drives profits throughout the economy. A collapse in consumer spending will drag down rich people as well as the poor, causing a global economic depression and creating the conditions for extreme political instability. The resulting crises could prove impossible to manage without extraordinary policy measures, such as guaranteed minimum incomes. Within mainstream political parties, the unpopularity of such measures, mainly on ideological grounds, makes them unlikely to be considered seriously until a protracted crisis exhausts human society and makes such measures unavoidable.

See also: Rise of the Robots: Technology and the Threat of a Jobless Future, by Martin Ford, Basic Books, 2015.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  131. The internship economy

Internships are sought by university students and fresh graduates in the hope of obtaining work experience, personal connections and references, and regular employment in their chosen field. Internships can be instrumental for career success. Internships are offered by private companies, government agencies and nonprofits. Some interns are provided with modest stipends. Others receive nothing.

I got a Federal internship because I--as a kid--walked into the local Federal Building and talked to people. Sad kids can't do that today.

17 September 2013 Craig Hooper ‏@NextNavy [^131.1] https://twitter.com/NextNavy/status/380102106461798400 His bio: Mobile, AL USA · nextnavy.com. 798 tweets. 877 following. 448 followers. Federal buildings have security procedures that discourage or prevent such wandering around today.

Internships influence organizational dynamics, leadership perspectives and socialization processes.

Internships can boost the employment rates of recent graduates. "Good" universities advertise the employment rates of their recent graduates. Such advertising is done in order to attract top-scoring students who, in turn, are more likely than others to find employment after graduating.

Two series of tweets by Sarah Kendzior ‏below take a critical look at internships in North America. The first set also appears on her blog, cited in the first tweet below. Kendzior writes from her experience as a social scientist in a competitive field in North America, where the supply of talent far exceeds demand. The points that Kendzior makes about the _prestige bubble_ (not to be confused with the education bubble) have universal relevance.

The moral bankruptcy of the internship economy

 http://sarahkendzior.com/2013/06/09/the-moral-bankruptcy-of-the-internship-economy/

9 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.2 and ^131.3 for the two paragraphs quoted below] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/343764465478680577 Twitter bio and stats on 10 June 2013: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com \- 9,008 tweets. 743 following. 6,419 followers.

The above link points to this blog post:

"The moral bankruptcy of the internship economy," by Sarah Kendzior, SarahKendzior.com, 9 June 2013,

 http://sarahkendzior.com/2013/06/09/the-moral-bankruptcy-of-the-internship-economy/

The first two paragraphs of Sarah Kendzior's aforementioned blog post introduce the tweets quoted below:

Every now and again I use Twitter to make a multipoint argument. Today I talked about unpaid internships and youth unemployment. The tweets have gotten a lot of attention, so I'm reposting them here. You can follow me on Twitter at @sarahkendzior.

This is what I wrote:

Thomas Friedman writes on the internship scam. He benefits from the scam, so he doesn't call it a scam.

https://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/09/opinion/sunday/the-internship-not-the-movie.html

9 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.4] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/343733952089034756 Twitter bio and stats on 10 June 2013: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com \- 9,008 tweets. 743 following. 6,419 followers.

Twitter bio and stats on 10 June 2013 for Thomas L. Friedman @tomfriedman - NY Times columnist and Pulitzer Prize winning author of Lexus and the Olive Tree and From Beirut to Jerusalem. Location: New York, NY · nytimes.com/friedman - 334 tweets. 81 following. 200,530 followers. Thomas L. Friedman's op-ed piece was not retrieved or reviewed for this chapter: "The Internship: Not the Movie," by Thomas L. Friedman, The New York Times, opinion section, 8 June 2013, https://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/09/opinion/sunday/the-internship-not-the-movie.html A version of this op-ed appeared in print on 9 June 2013, on page SR11 of the New York edition with the headline: "The Internship: Not the Movie."

Here is how the internship scam works. It's not about a "skills" gap. It's about a morality gap.

9 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.5] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/343734661895311360 Twitter bio and stats on 10 June 2013: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com \- 9,008 tweets. 743 following. 6,419 followers.

1) Make higher education worthless by redefining "skill" as a specific corporate contribution. Tell young people they have no skills.

9 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.6] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/343734740987293696 Twitter bio and stats on 10 June 2013: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com \- 9,008 tweets. 743 following. 6,419 followers.

2) With "skill" irrelevant, require experience. Make internship sole path to experience. Make internships unpaid, locking out all but rich.

9 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.7] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/343734834457346051 Twitter bio and stats on 10 June 2013: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com \- 9,008 tweets. 743 following. 6,419 followers.

3) End on the job training for entry level jobs. Educated told skills are irrelevant. Uneducated told they have no way to obtain skills.

9 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.8] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/343734896176541697 Twitter bio and stats on 10 June 2013: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com \- 9,008 tweets. 743 following. 6,419 followers.

4) As wealthy progress on professional career path, middle and lower class youth take service jobs to pay off massive educational debt.

9 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.9] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/343734961112768512 Twitter bio and stats on 10 June 2013: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com \- 9,008 tweets. 743 following. 6,419 followers.

5) Make these part-time jobs not "count" on resume. Hire on prestige, not skill or education. Punish those who need to work to survive.

9 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.10] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/343735019082240000 Twitter bio and stats on 10 June 2013: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com \- 9,008 tweets. 743 following. 6,419 followers.

6) Punish young people who never found any kind of work the hardest. Make them untouchables — unhireable.

9 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.11] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/343735075445276672 Twitter bio and stats on 10 June 2013: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com \- 9,008 tweets. 743 following. 6,419 followers.

7) Tell wealthy people they are "privileged" to be working 40 hrs/week for free. Don't tell them what kind of "privileged" it is.

9 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.12] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/343735156244373504 Twitter bio and stats on 10 June 2013: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com \- 9,008 tweets. 743 following. 6,419 followers.

8) Make status quo commentary written by unpaid interns or people hiring unpaid interns. They will tell you it's your fault.

9 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.13] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/343735245088100353 Twitter bio and stats on 10 June 2013: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com \- 9,008 tweets. 743 following. 6,419 followers.

9) Young people, it is not your fault. Speak out. Fight back. Bankrupt the prestige economy.

9 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.14] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/343735308061384704 Twitter bio and stats on 10 June 2013: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com \- 9,008 tweets. 743 following. 6,419 followers.

Reply:

@sarahkendzior **WORD. "It's not your fault" is the psychological key that unlocks the whole apparatus built on cultivation of anxiety.**

9 June 2013 siddhartha mitter ‏@siddhmi [^131.15] https://twitter.com/siddhmi/status/343736893768364033 His bio: journalism & consulting. siddharthamitter.com - 5,458 tweets. 1,094 following. 1,205 followers.

Related:

@JordanMKiley If anything, employers will hold work experience against you. That's the sickest irony.

9 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.16] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/343745251078467584 Twitter bio and stats on 10 June 2013: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com \- 9,008 tweets. 743 following. 6,419 followers.

What kind of work might interns perform? From Capitol Hill, Seattle:

Organizations that utilize interns to call as "followup" to "find out" if you "received our press release"... maybe reconsider deployment?

12 June 2013 jseattle ‏@jseattle [^131.17] https://twitter.com/jseattle/status/344925727197630466 Bio: Justin, publisher, CHS Capitol Hill Seattle Blog -- DM or @ for breaking news or txt/call (206) 399-5959. Location: Seattle, WA 98112 · capitolhillseattle.com - 36,991 tweets. 2,714 following. 9,930 followers.

At the Capitol Hill Seattle Blog at the time, local interns wrote and published articles under their own bylines.

• • • • •

A note on the use of tweets to make an extended argument

The use of microblog posts to make extended arguments is discussed by Sarah Kendzior (SK) in a conversation with Sam Bakkila (SB):

SB: Let's talk about the form, as well. As a writer, I've always thought of Twitter as a necessary publicity machine, but here [this is a link to the series of numbered tweets above] you made a powerful and well-reasoned argument that was perhaps best expressed on Twitter. Do you think there's something powerful about this ultra-short form medium?

SK: Twitter is as effective as a blog for making concise, multipoint arguments. I am careful when I write these to make each Tweet stand alone as well as contribute to a broader point. It is tough to pull off. Umair Haque (@umairh) is the master of this style, but I see others embracing it too.

Twitter forces you to think aphoristically. Some say the character limit inhibits creativity, but I see it as a challenge that pushes you to carefully consider every word. It is a good exercise for any writer.

End of quotes by Sarah Kendzior and Sam Bakkila. Underlining added above.

Source: "Why You Should Never Have Taken That Prestigious Internship," by Sam Bakkila, PolicyMic, 14 June 2013,  http://www.policymic.com/articles/48829/why-you-should-never-have-taken-that-prestigious-internship

The link in SB's quote above points to this blog post, portions of which were quoted above: "The moral bankruptcy of the internship economy," by Sarah Kendzior, SarahKendzior.com, 9 June 2013,  http://sarahkendzior.com/2013/06/09/the-moral-bankruptcy-of-the-internship-economy/

Sam Bakkila @sbakkila [^131.18] Twitter bio and stats on 1 December 2013: @policymic pundit. I also tweet my favorite quotes from books and movies. If you know the source, tweet back at me! Location: Cambridge MA. 748 tweets. 779 following. 308 followers.

Sarah Kendzior @sarahkendzior [^131.19] Twitter bio and stats on 1 December 2013: Writer on politics, economy, media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com. 14,632 tweets. 996 following. 13,732 followers.

PolicyMic @PolicyMic [^131.20] Twitter bio and stats on 1 December 2013: Thought-provoking. Inspiring. News that matters to our generation and disrupts the world as we know it. Location: NYC · policymic.com. 20,597 tweets. 933 following. 17,477 followers.

"Twitter forces you to think aphoristically," said Sarah Kendzior above. What are aphorisms?

Aphorisms are short, pithy sayings; they are individual passages that can be recited and remain intelligible out of context; they can stand on their own without further support.

The above quote is from: Louis Groarke, "Philosophy as Inspiration: Blaise Pascal and the Epistemology of Aphorisms," Poetics Today, 28 (3), fall 2007, pp. 393–441. No Twitter ID found on 7 April 2013 for Louis Groarke. This definition appeared earlier here in the chapter on aphorisms.

Now the topic returns to internships.

• • • • •

" **People who defend unpaid internships are defending a notion of what they think unpaid internships should be.** "

http://qz.com/123717

13 September 2013 Quartz ‏@qz [^131.21] https://twitter.com/qz/status/378699698237739008

Points to:

"Why I sued Hollywood on behalf of unpaid interns everywhere," by Eric Glatt, _Quartz_ , 13 September 2013, http://qz.com/123717/why-i-sued-hollywood-on-behalf-of-unpaid-interns-everywhere/

Eric Glatt's opening paragraph:

When Fox Searchlight Picture's $300 million-plus grossing "Black Swan" sought to control its production budget, in part by staffing with unpaid intern labor, it was contributing to the normalization of a practice that has no defensible basis in ethics or law. It took advantage of people's desperate need to distinguish their résumés and the acceptance of this commonplace if peculiar fact of the youth labor market. Somewhere along the way, a laudable idea that work experience could have academic merit metastasized into an ad hoc free-for-all in which there is little consistency in policy (whether among employers or colleges), little governmental enforcement, and every reason for exploited young workers to cross their fingers and hope that they're expected to labor for free for only a brief period.

Author's bio on Quartz, which accompanied his article: Eric Glatt was the plaintiff in a lawsuit against Fox Searchlight Pictures Inc. He's a board member of the Fair Pay Campaign and is a public interest fellow at the Georgetown University Law Center.

Twitter bio for Interns ≠ Free Labor @EricGlatt [^131.22 and ^131.23 for the quote in the tweet above] Working to end #wagetheft guised as #unpaidinternships. Law student & Public Interest Fellow at Georgetown. • Contact: eric.glatt[at]gmail – Location: Brooklyn, NY | Washingon, DC · https://www.facebook.com/interns.x.free.labor - 630 tweets. 540 following. 452 followers.

Twitter bio for Quartz @qz [^131.24] Quartz is a new kind of global business news outlet. Sign up for the Quartz Daily Brief: http://bit.ly/quartzbrief - Location: The World · qz.com. 11,227 tweets. 51 following. 50,813 followers.

Casting: 'A new comedy for E4 is looking for Oriental women to play workers in a sweatshop. Payment details: expenses only' Oh, hello irony.

21 June 2012 Miss L ‏@ProResting [^131.25] https://twitter.com/ProResting/status/215898177524604930 Bio and stats on 1 April 2014: Another bloody actress. Anonymously tweets about the ridiculousness of the acting world. Proud creator & curator of Casting Call Woe: http://castingcallwoe.tumblr.com/ - Location: London · professionallyresting.blogspot.com - 36,927 tweets. 2,230 following. 7,123 followers.

Orientals are rugs. Asians are people. In modern society, to call someone an Oriental can be insulting.

• • • • •

Joseph E Stiglitz

Quote:

The life prospects of an American are more dependent on the income and education of his parents than in almost any other advanced country for which there is data...

Young people from families of modest means face a Catch-22: without a college education, they are condemned to a life of poor prospects; with a college education, they may be condemned to a lifetime of living at the brink. And increasingly even a college degree isn't enough; one needs either a graduate degree or a series of (often unpaid) internships. Those at the top have the connections and social capital to get those opportunities. Those in the middle and bottom don't. The point is that no one makes it on his or her own. And those at the top get more help from their families than do those lower down on the ladder. Government should help to level the playing field.

[End of quote.]

Source: "Equal Opportunity, Our National Myth," by Joseph E. Stiglitz, The New York Times, 'The Opinionator' section, http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/02/16/equal-opportunity-our-national-myth/ Part of 'The Great Divide' series on inequality.

Joseph E. Stiglitz @JosephEStiglitz [^131.26] Twitter bio and stats on 16 November 2013: The official account of Joseph E. Stiglitz, Nobel laureate economist based at Columbia University. New York · josephstiglitz.com - 12 tweets. 35 following. 5,638 followers.

The New York Times @nytimes [^131.27] Twitter bio and stats on 16 November 2013: Where the conversation begins. Follow for breaking news, special reports, http://NYTimes.com homepage links and RTs of our journalists. New York City · nytimes.com - 119,362 tweets. 825 following. 10,095,001 followers.

• • • • •

Sarah Kendzior posted a second set of tweets:

1. You know the prestige-based, post-employment economy is a scam. You ask: What should I do? Good question.

9 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.28] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/343774977939632128 Twitter bio and stats on 10 June 2013: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com \- 9,008 tweets. 743 following. 6,419 followers.

2. It's a tough question to ask because you have to make a living while asking it. That's why, contra Friedman, I won't say "invent a job".

9 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.29] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/343775055509078017 Twitter bio and stats on 10 June 2013: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com \- 9,008 tweets. 743 following. 6,419 followers.

3. I will tell you to stop hating yourself. It's not your fault. A systemic crisis is not the fault of the people who suffer for it.

9 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.30] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/343775121208655872 Twitter bio and stats on 10 June 2013: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com \- 9,008 tweets. 743 following. 6,419 followers.

4. I will also tell you it won't last. It can't sustain itself. A false meritocracy breeds mediocrity. It is running itself into the ground.

9 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.31] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/343775201483440128 Twitter bio and stats on 10 June 2013: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com \- 9,008 tweets. 743 following. 6,419 followers.

5. We have had a housing bubble, an education bubble. You are in a prestige bubble. It is inflated by debt.

9 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.32] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/343775261873029120 Twitter bio and stats on 10 June 2013: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com \- 9,008 tweets. 743 following. 6,419 followers.

6. You are being told to pay, literally and figuratively, for an assault on society. Don't let that define your values – or your value.

9 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.33] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/343775506694545409 Twitter bio and stats on 10 June 2013: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com \- 9,008 tweets. 743 following. 6,419 followers.

7. I don't have individual answers. But don't think of it as an individual question. Realize you're in it together. And keep talking.

9 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.34] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/343775638278262785 Twitter bio and stats on 10 June 2013: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com \- 9,008 tweets. 743 following. 6,419 followers.

8. The quickest way to keep a problem from being solved is to deny that it exists.

9 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.35] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/343775699175362560 Twitter bio and stats on 10 June 2013: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com \- 9,008 tweets. 743 following. 6,419 followers.

Americans are controlled more by their debt, lack of job opportunities and economic immobility than by anything the government can do.

9 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.36] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/343833171311333376 Twitter bio and stats on 10 June 2013: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com \- 9,008 tweets. 743 following. 6,419 followers.

Washington DC is a very expensive city. It is also a city where people build livelihoods selling ideas. That is a toxic combination.

9 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.37] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/343845670379220992 Twitter bio and stats on 10 June 2013: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com \- 9,008 tweets. 743 following. 6,419 followers.

The insane rise in cost of living in our centers of media and politics -- NYC, DC, SF -- reshaped our culture. Compare with earlier decades.

9 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.38] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/343847005652656129 Twitter bio and stats on 10 June 2013: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com \- 9,008 tweets. 743 following. 6,419 followers.

It is expensive to merely visit the cities listed above, which restricts participation in cultural and political events that determine the future of the country.

.@dandrezner **Fear inhibits innovation. In expensive cities, ppl live in constant fear. A small wrong move upends everything. So they conform**

9 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.39] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/343851023980449793 Twitter bio and stats on 10 June 2013: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com \- 9,008 tweets. 743 following. 6,419 followers.

What to do?

Go where you will find the greatest freedom \-- the freedom to fail.

16 November 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.40] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/401864364749107200 Bio: Writer on politics, economy, media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com - 14,115 tweets. 975 following. 13,273 followers. Kendzior points to St. Louis as a city with cheap rents.

The benefits of failure are often understated. Success may offer few lessons besides perseverance, attention to detail and (ironically) the importance of lessons derived from failure.

*welcomes failure*

7 October 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^131.41] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/387303984148393984 Twitter bio and stats on 30 December 2013 for this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 17,120 tweets. 729 following. 28,655 followers.

Failure and learning have to go together: you have to learn what's worth trying, and when: random failure does nothing but discourage you.

12 December 2013 AlexSteffen ‏@AlexSteffen [^131.42] https://twitter.com/AlexSteffen/status/411239969743581184 Bio and stats on 21 January 2014: I try to live well, have fun and be a good ancestor. Planetary Futurist in Residence at @IDEO; @planetarystory; @C02zero; @worldchanging. I block rudeness. Location: San Francisco · alexsteffen.com – 13,281 tweets. 694 following. 12,797 followers.

People rightly say failures are important to the process; but often gloss over that they must be failures trying to do something worth doing

12 December 2013 AlexSteffen ‏@AlexSteffen [^131.43] https://twitter.com/AlexSteffen/status/411239638947217408 Bio and stats on 21 January 2014: I try to live well, have fun and be a good ancestor. Planetary Futurist in Residence at @IDEO; @planetarystory; @C02zero; @worldchanging. I block rudeness. Location: San Francisco · alexsteffen.com – 13,281 tweets. 694 following. 12,797 followers. Alex Steffen's two tweets appeared in regard to attempts to modernize urbanism and the economy in the face of global climate change.

Three concluding quotes from Sarah Kendzior:

But creative people should not fear failure. Creative people should fear the prescribed path to success - its narrowness, its specificity, its reliance on wealth and elite approval. When success is a stranglehold, true freedom is failure. The freedom to fail is the freedom to innovate, to experiment, to challenge.

Perhaps it is time to reject the 'gated citadels' - the cities powered by the exploitation of ambition, the cities where so much rides on so little opportunity.

Reject the places where you cannot speak out, and create, and think, and fail. Open your eyes to where you are, and see where you can go.

Source of the three quotes above:

"Expensive cities are killing creativity - New York City, a traditional incubator for artists, has now become a 'gated citadel' for creativity," by Sarah Kendzior, Al Jazeera, @AJEnglish, 17 December 2013,  http://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/opinion/2013/12/expensive-cities-are-killing-creativity-2013121065856922461.html

Sarah Kendzior @sarahkendzior [^131.44, ^131.45, ^131.46] Twitter bio and stats on 24 December 2013: Writer on politics, economy, media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com. 15,635 tweets. 1,015 following. 16,015 followers.

Al Jazeera English @AJEnglish [^131.47, ^131.48, ^131.49] Twitter bio and stats on 24 December 2013: Al Jazeera English, the 24-hour English-language news and current affairs channel, headquartered in Doha, Qatar. Follow @AJELive for breaking news alerts. Location: Doha, Qatar · aljazeera.com. 109,843 tweets. 133 following. 1,842,293 followers.

Sarah Kendzior summarizes the suggestions received in response to her article above, on how expensive cities are killing creativity:

Places where readers said cost of living is killing art: New York, San Francisco, Sydney, Toronto, Austin, Boston. Mixed reviews on LA.

27 December 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.50] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/416666080971464704 Bio: Writer on politics, economy, media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com. 15,754 tweets. 1,023 following. 16,216 followers.

US readers wrote me saying following cities affordable + interesting for artists: Pittsburgh, Buffalo, New Orleans, Detroit, Milwaukee

27 December 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.51] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/416664768263364608 Bio: Writer on politics, economy, media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com. 15,754 tweets. 1,023 following. 16,216 followers.

More recommendations for affordable and interesting for artists: Baltimore, Columbus, and Durham. Priced out: Seattle. Mixed: Portland.

27 December 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^131.52] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/416668142006304768 Bio: Writer on politics, economy, media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com. 15,754 tweets. 1,023 following. 16,216 followers.

Portland Oregon's mid-range housing costs and progressive taxes (a state income tax but no sales tax) helped earn it the nickname the city where young people go to retire. Frustrated by Portland's lack of intellectual ferment compared to Seattle, however, Der Kosmonaut suggests updating that nickname to: "Portland – the city where people go to do nothing with their lives."

The secret to cheap living is cheap rent.

—Maude Wayne Mitchell [^131.53]

• • • • •

Final paper topic: "What are you doing with your life? Defend your choices."

2 December 2013 Conatus ‏@distributedcog [^131.54] https://twitter.com/distributedcog/status/407699391387279360 Bio: I am a Spinozist philosopher who tweets about music, philosophy, cognitive science, and Ⓐnti-kierarchical politics (plus a smattering of other random crap). Location: Washington DC. 10,987 tweets. 303 following. 326 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  132. Academia and its discontents

The image of universities as intellectual havens, insulated from the crasser sides of human nature, attracts bright people with the promise of collaboration for the good of humanity. The shift to massive online courses is reducing overhead costs and the need to maintain faculty positions. Competition for available positions and declines in the percentage of tenured positions are altering US academic environments. Careers in academia are simultaneously becoming less obtainable and less rewarding.

Tenure provides job security, protects academic freedom, and encourages collaboration. Upon being vacated (by death, retirement or transfer), tenured positions in the US have increasingly been left unfilled, in what some are calling the de-facto abandonment of tenure. The expanding the size of the contingent workforce in academia is altering the fundamental nature of American academic institutions. Contingent or transient work is less desirable and less remunerative than tenure-track positions, thereby discouraging the most talented people from pursuing academic careers and penalizing those who do.

The percentage of tenure-track academic positions at degree-granting US colleges and universities declined from 57% in 1975 to 30% in 2011. Contingent positions increased from 43% to 70% during the same period, according to the US Department of Education, National Center of Education Statistics, with statistics compiled and published by the AAUP Research Office in Washington DC in this report: The Status of Non-Tenure-Track Faculty, American Association of University Professors (AAUP), no date, as retrieved 20 August 2015,  http://www.aaup.org/report/status-non-tenure-track-faculty Data originated from this chart:  http://www.aaup.org/sites/default/files/Faculty_Trends_0.pdf

Resentment a big problem in academia. I remember being discouraged from publishing too much as grad student so that I don't upset jr faculty

20 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^132.1] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/347727578838228992 Twitter bio and stats on 22 June 2013: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com - 9,433 tweets. 765 following. 6,956 followers.

@sarahkendzior **I made a point of not telling my professors about my pending academic publications...**

20 June 2013 Proteas & Magnolias ‏@ArriannaMarie [^132.2] https://twitter.com/ArriannaMarie/status/347727927619760129 Twitter bio and stats on 22 June 2013: Researcher | Writer | Non-Profit Consultant | @Cal + @UChicago alumna | Lover of Justice | Tweets Mine | I'm nobody's honey. I'm barely anyone's cup of tea | Location: Here and Now · thesojournerproject.wordpress.com - 141,256 tweets. 768 following. 4,490 followers.

@sarahkendzior **Damned insecure academics. Was told I'd have to publish in less prestigious journals than my profs. Very discouraging.**

20 June 2013 J Britt Holbrook ‏@jbrittholbrook [^132.3] https://twitter.com/jbrittholbrook/status/347728919153229825 Twitter bio and stats on 22 June 2013: I am a philosopher at the University of North Texas who enjoys trying to change the world more than trying to understand it. http://jbrittholbrook.com/ - Location: United States of America · rebelmouse.com/jbrittholbrook/ \- 3,842 tweets. 480 following. 360 followers.

@sarahkendzior **My shock was that any success by faculty gets resentment from colleagues. Not celebrated.** # **competitive**

20 June 2013 Valerie Irvine @_valeriei [^132.4] https://twitter.com/_valeriei/status/347731382145011712 Twitter bio and stats on 22 June 2013: #Edtech Prof @ UVic / Co-Director, TIE #Research Lab / Mom of 2 girls / Captain of a runabout / Tweets are both work & play, like the real me / Teach @edci336 – Location: Victoria Canada · tie.uvic.ca - 23,193 tweets. 2,613 following. 2,372 followers.

@sarahkendzior @_valeriei **the community of scholars is gone. We are all in competition w/ one another.**

20 June 2013 Kim Wilson ‏@phillyprof03 [^132.5] https://twitter.com/phillyprof03/status/347732286445322241 PhD in Urban Affairs and Public Policy; Du Boisian; Community Studies; Ex-Offender Reentry; Race and Gender. Location: Around the way · damnshewentthere.blogspot.com - 2,378 tweets. 1,024 following. 360 followers. w/ = with.

@phillyprof03 @sarahkendzior **yes b/c we are fighting over scraps. Key is finding good colleagues who are genuine. Don't care about the game**

20 June 2013 Valerie Irvine @_valeriei [^132.6] https://twitter.com/_valeriei/status/347734885978484736 Twitter bio and stats on 22 June 2013: #Edtech Prof @ UVic / Co-Director, TIE #Research Lab / Mom of 2 girls / Captain of a runabout / Tweets are both work & play, like the real me / Teach @edci336 – Location: Victoria Canada · tie.uvic.ca - 23,193 tweets. 2,613 following. 2,372 followers. b/c = because

@_valeriei @phillyprof03 @sarahkendzior **"Academic fights are so bitter because the stakes are so low." -- Wallace Sayre**

20 June 2013 Lay Skilling et al. ‏@ProfessorEnron [^132.7] Twitter bio and stats on 23 June 2013: Professor at the Enron of public universities; tweets are not their deluded opinion. Location: Hanging by my thumbs. 332 tweets. 167 following. 65 followers.

Wallace Stanley Sayre (1905-1972) was a political scientist and professor at Columbia University. Sayre's law holds that: "In any dispute the intensity of feeling is inversely proportional to the value of the issues at stake." He added, "That is why academic politics are so bitter," as a corollary.

General observations by Sarah Kendzior and Jason Nolan:

Mobility froze with the idea that you are your job.

And that your job at one point signals your prospects forever.

Adjuncts case in point.

22 June 2013 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^132.8] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/348474191508541442 Bio: Writer and analyst on politics and digital media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com - 9,433 tweets. 765 following. 6,956 followers.

It can be argued that if adjuncts do not meet the criteria to become regularized faculty members, then they should not be hired. If they meet the criteria, then they should be hired at regular pay rates.

Conferences are the cocktail parties of academe.

Thin content.

Superficial engagement.

Hero worship.

Turf marking.

Mocking the unfunded

21 June 2013 Jason Nolan ‏@jasonnolan [^132.9] https://twitter.com/jasonnolan/status/348240718348820481 Twitter bio on 22 June 2013: This account is (somewhat) dormant. I may delete or undelete anything at any time. It is NOT personal. Location: Canada · edgelab.ryerson.ca - 19,238 tweets. 212 following. 117 followers. Presenting a paper at an academic conference can bolster an academic resume.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  133. Recruiting and HR

wat is a job and how do I get one

27 December 2012 Rachel ‏@tac0hell [^133.1] https://twitter.com/tac0hell/status/284438502727356416 Her bio and stats on 7 April 2013: I'll eat ur face without taking bath salts. Location: Washington, DC · http://facebook.com/rach3llo - 189 tweets. 53 following. 22 followers.

Hey, did you ever get that job you talked about for weeks then abruptly stopped mentioning?

18 February 2014 Brian Gaar ‏@briangaar [^133.2] https://twitter.com/briangaar/status/435794827322462208 Bio and stats on 24 February 2014: Comedian, lazy playboy. Location: Austin, TX · briangaar.com – 11,035 tweets. 991 following. 57,863 followers.

My resume is really just a list of things I never want to do again.

17 February 2012 Charmed & Dangerous ‏@hidingfromme [^133.3] https://twitter.com/hidingfromme/status/170610249911369729 Her bio and stats on 2 December 2012: Plays well with herself. Location: Rehab · http://favstar.fm/users/hidingfromme - 9,092 tweets. 2,607 following. 4,818 followers.

One potential career goal is to never have to write a resume again. It's worth considering what that means and how to get there.

13 December 2010 Jeremiah Owyang @jowyang [^133.4] https://twitter.com/#!/jowyang/status/14507959224635392 His bio and stats on 18 November 2012: Industry Analyst, Partner at Altimeter Group. Some tweets publish on timer. How I use Twitter http://bit.ly/LK0i - Location: Silicon Valley, CA · http://web-strategist.com/blog - 36,460 tweets. 13,132 following. 115,905 followers. Bio and stats on 27 April 2015: Founder of http://CrowdCompanies.com @CrowdCompanies, and housemate to @goodboyrumba - Location: Silicon Valley, CA - web-strategist.com/blog - 57,709 tweets. 18,513 following. 161,010 followers.

How to get there? Jeremiah Owyang suggests:

Invest in your career reputation. None can take from you and it's one of the few things that are career portable.

22 September 2012 Jeremiah Owyang ‏@jowyang [^133.5] https://twitter.com/jowyang/status/249652441006612480 His bio and stats on 18 November 2012: Industry Analyst, Partner at Altimeter Group. Some tweets publish on timer. How I use Twitter http://bit.ly/LK0i - Location: Silicon Valley, CA · http://web-strategist.com/blog - 36,460 tweets. 13,132 following. 115,905 followers. Bio and stats on 27 April 2015: Founder of http://CrowdCompanies.com @CrowdCompanies, and housemate to @goodboyrumba - Location: Silicon Valley, CA - web-strategist.com/blog - 57,709 tweets. 18,513 following. 161,010 followers.

As an alternative to a traditional resume, the social CV or #SOCIALCV is sometimes misunderstood to be a resume compressed into 140 characters. What is a social CV? Seth Cargiuolo answers:

The Social CV approach says, "hey, tell me your name, tell me you're interested, and give me your Twitter handle, and we'll do the rest." The recruiting team will Google your name, read your site, check out your work and see the image you've created. Then they will proof-point that by scoping you out on your social profiles. Is your image fluff, or do you actually have the chops to go with the image? Digitally savvy recruiters and operators should be able to tell the difference – thus avoiding the need for a Paper CV and all the usual rigamarole.

Furthermore, even if you're only passively looking for work, or not looking at all, the Social CV is there, allowing prospective employers to find you, evaluate you, and invite you to their next dance – unlike a traditional CV that you send in upon their request.

Of course, if you're an IT engineer, in finance, actuarial science, or dozens of other roles or functions, you're probably not going to be judged on the same criteria as people who need to be on top of their digital/social media game. You may not even be able to be taken seriously without a paper CV for quite some time, still.

The idea that a tweet is the new elevator pitch is less laughable, but still misses the mark. There will be times when you *do* tweet [a] pitch certainly – but not out of the blue

Source of the above quote:

"Tweeting A 140 Character Resume is Like Crashing A Party (And Not In A Good Way)," by Seth Cargiuolo @carge77 on carge77.com 17 April 2013. http://www.carge77.com/2013/04/17/the-new-resume-is-not-140-characters/

Seth Cargiuolo ‏@carge77 [^133.6] Twitter bio and stats on 1 June 2013: By night, Deep Thinker & Writer-In-Chief @ http://www.carge77.com . By day, CKO & Digital Strategy Guy at The Saint Consulting Group. All content my own. Location: Arlington, MA · carge77.com - 5,470 tweets. 1,935 following. 2,017 followers. [a] replaces 'an' above.

CKO = chief knowledge officer, responsible for knowledge management within an organization.

• • • • •

Personal contacts and referrals, if available, can be more helpful for job-seekers than any other option. A referral may enable a hiring manager to decide on a new hire — before or instead of advertising for an open position. This underscores the importance of cultivating and maintaining personal contacts and references.

Personal references?

Um, Twitter kinda likes me sometimes...

7 May 2012 Cheeky Dre ‏@cheeky_dre [^133.7] https://twitter.com/cheeky_dre/status/199661534497095680 She was in Texas with 215 followers on 28 May 2012. Her bio and stats on 7 February 2013: Look, with your special eyes. Location: Right here · http://favstar.fm/users/cheeky_dre - 1,628 tweets. 1,423 following. 623 followers.

Contacted today by two old acquaintances looking for pointers on landing work.

First tip: Get yourself a much, much better contact list.

23 August 2010 The Bosha ‏@TheBosha [^133.8] https://twitter.com/#!/TheBosha/status/21933322964 His bio and stats on 16 November 2012: Get off my lawn. Location: Near the Tannhäuser Gate · http://www.witstream.com/#jim_bosha - 13,149 tweets. 476 following. 11,858 followers.

Stop trying to connect with me on LinkedIn.

I can't help you.

In fact, I may ruin everything.

16 April 12 Molly McAleer ‏@molls [^133.9] https://twitter.com/#!/molls/status/191843866352164865 Her bio and stats on 26 March 2013: TV writer. HelloGiggles co-founder. Greatest fan of your life. Location: Hollywood · http://www.mollsshewrote.com - 17,899 tweets. 826 following. 42,264 followers.

**Has** http:// **linkedin.com really helped people get jobs or just a another hyped social media platform for advertisers !!**

24 June 2013 M.I ** ‏@Iyer_z [^133.10] https://twitter.com/Iyer_z/status/349076038032183296 His Twitter bio: King of Customer Service - Dreamer, Outsourcing expert, creative writer, star gazer, gadget, Fashion n car freak, loves his miles...Father to an Angel.. Location: Chennai. 631 tweets. 220 following. 52 followers.

# **LinkedIn is nothing but a link virus.**

26 June 2012 taslima nasreen ‏@taslimanasreen [^133.11] https://twitter.com/taslimanasreen/status/217854720688132096 Her bio and stats on 26 November 2012: Writer, Secular Humanist, Feminist, Physician. Location: Everywhere · http://freethoughtblogs.com/taslima/ - 21,418 tweets. 363 following. 49,055 followers.

It takes 29 clicks to unsubscribe from LinkedIn email, which is possibly the most user-hating funnel on the Internet.

8 October 2014 megan quinn ‏@msquinn [^133.103] https://twitter.com/msquinn/status/519881247209062401 Bio: Partner at Kleiner Perkins. Previously built products at Square & Google. I collect maps, cookbooks & airplane miles. Location: London today, SF tomorrow. 10,804 tweets. 1,110 following. 17,154 followers. This quote was added at the end of indexing so the footnote number is out of order.

I wish John Wilkes Booth shot LinkedIn.

10 July 2013 missingblakes ‏@missingblakes [^133.12] https://twitter.com/missingblakes/status/355036066094395394 Twitter bio and stats on 11 July 2013: Friend to people with nachos MANY STOPS DO NOT FOLLOW. favstar.fm/users/missingblakes - 1,656 tweets. 2,530 following. 2,637 followers.

I just shut down my linkedIn account and I have never felt more alive.

12 February 2013 Joelle Boucai ‏@joelleboucai [^133.13] https://twitter.com/joelleboucai/status/301586224001466368 Her bio: I'm a writer for Jimmy Kimmel Live and a big fan of Diet Coke. Location: Los Angeles, CA. 2,124 tweets. 277 following. 4,044 followers.

Using Twitter for job hunting?

Well I'm unemployed as of March 1. Anyone looking to hire a brilliant, insightful, irascible foreign policy analyst?

4 February 2013 joshuafoust ‏@joshuafoust [^133.14] https://twitter.com/joshuafoust/status/298456266332835840 His bio and stats the next day: Writer, analyst, columnist for PBS & elsewhere. Irascible. I don't represent anyone else's views. I block trolls. Location: Washington, DC · joshuafoust.com - 98,153 tweets. 641 following. 9,762 followers.

Reply:

@joshuafoust **Sure. If you really know someone like that pls share their contact details.**

4 February 2013 Iveta Cherneva ‏@IvetaCherneva [^133.15] https://twitter.com/IvetaCherneva/status/298456633330253826 Her bio and stats the next day: https://www.amazon.com/Iveta-Cherneva/e/B004IULPXY - 7,086 tweets. 380 following. 1,345 followers. That URL is her author page on Amazon.com. Among her titles: The Business Case for Sustainable Finance (Routledge Studies in Ecological Economics) published 12 June 2012. pls = please.

Reply:

@IvetaCherneva lulz

4 February 2013 joshuafoust ‏@joshuafoust [^133.16] https://twitter.com/joshuafoust/status/298456858279149568 His bio and stats the next day: Writer, analyst, columnist for PBS & elsewhere. Irascible. I don't represent anyone else's views. I block trolls. Location: Washington, DC · joshuafoust.com - 98,153 tweets. 641 following. 9,762 followers.

lulz = laughs. It is the plural of lol or laugh out loud. May also be used to express kicks or thrills, possibly at someone else's expense. The z is a leetish substitute for s in lols.

Job hunting is a lot like dating, you keep putting yourself out there & keep getting rejected until one lucky day you finally just die.

19 July 2012 Tricia ‏@Im_Tricia [^133.17] https://twitter.com/Im_Tricia/status/225689464071139329 Her bio and stats on 22 December 2012: Jazz hands for life while still keeping it gangsta./Instagram: Im_Tricia/ https://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/[-withheld – Tricia's wish list]. Location: Los Angeles · http://favstar.fm/users/Im_Tricia - 3,164 tweets. 636 following. 24,182 followers.

JOB LISTINGS TYPED IN ALL CAPS SEEM PROMISING, RIGHT?

30 August 2012 Kevin M ‏@KevinBabbles [^133.18] https://twitter.com/KevinBabbles/status/241079814554013696 Bio and stats on 30 January 2013: I put stuff here that's too short for a blog post and too trivial for a Facebook status. Basically, this is where my unimportant thoughts go to die. Los Angeles, CA · http://kevinbabbles.blogspot.com - 1,320 tweets. 181 following. 111 followers.

Went to a Job Fair but threw up on the first ride.

11 August 2010 The Bosha ‏@TheBosha [^133.19] https://twitter.com/#!/TheBosha/status/20920890872 His bio and stats on 16 November 2012: Get off my lawn. Location: Near the Tannhäuser Gate · http://www.witstream.com/#jim_bosha - 13,149 tweets. 476 following. 11,858 followers.

Jobs suck at finding me.

16 August 2011 Patrick @mrptrck [^133.20] https://twitter.com/#!/mrptrck/status/103585158099238912 His Twitter bio and stats on 27 September 2013: your friend from the internet> Location: las vegas. 391 tweets. 85 following. 1,403 followers. His most recent tweet on 27 September 2013 was dated 21 March 2013.

They say dress for the job you want, but this scratchy office chair is hitting the cut outs of my vinyl cat suit in all the wrong places.

15 August 2011 Kim @Kimmittable [^133.21] https://twitter.com/#!/Kimmittable/status/103087978175397888 Her bio and stats on 7 March 2013: I'm not a doctor, but I think there's something wrong with you. Location: Ontario, Canada · http://favstar.fm/users/Kimpulses - 7,477 tweets. 410 following. 5,816 followers. This tweet has been stolen and reworded many times. Some of the stolen versions have been stolen again and further reworded.

Having exhausted all other available career paths, I'm torn between my remaining options: Drug mule, or communist revolutionary?

24 December 2010 Victoria Marinelli @vmarinelli [^133.22] https://twitter.com/#!/vmarinelli/status/18457311093727233 Her Twitter bio and stats on 26 June 2013: Still figuring out this bicoastal thing. Location: Portland, OR · vmarinelli.tumblr.com - 11,803 tweets. 559 following. 3,319 followers.

The only thing worse than working is looking for work

28 May 2012 Waj ‏@myconfusedface [^133.23] https://twitter.com/myconfusedface/status/207195035593228288 In the UK with 17,631 followers. His bio and stats on 6 May 2013: As my great-grandma would say: Find someone who loves you for your tweets, not for your avatar. All posts are those of Waj. Location: Alton Towers. 13,705 tweets. 17,940 following. 39,611 followers.

I'm not looking for work, I'm looking for a job.

19 February 2013 bllix ‏@bllix [^133.24] https://twitter.com/bllix/status/304002222801432576 Her bio and stats on 22 February 2013: Electronic music producer/knob-twiddler, MYLF, Multilingual programmer, Attorney at LOL, Thug 4 Life, Laundromancer, METAL AS FVCK. Damn, Gina. Location: Portland, OR. · http://bllix.tumblr.com - 12,839 tweets. 499 following. 4,534 followers.

Considering how much people complain about selling out, it is surprisingly difficult to do.

25 May 2012 Nicky Young ‏@NickyOfYoung [^133.25] https://twitter.com/NickyOfYoung/status/206226857165721600 His bio: A great man on the path to greatness. Also a screenwriter, video editor/colorist, and sometime actor. Location: Los Angeles, California. 169 followers.

I tend to excel at jobs that are impossible to explain to other people.

20 November 2012 The Bosha ‏@TheBosha [^133.26] https://twitter.com/TheBosha/status/271077397867147265 His bio and stats on 23 November 2012: Get off my lawn. Location: Near the Tannhäuser Gate · http://www.witstream.com/#jim_bosha - 13,240 tweets. 505 following. 12,064 followers.

Strengths: Dependable, Works Well With Others.

Weaknesses: Organization, Ghosts.

24 February 2011 shelby fero @shelbyfero [^133.27] https://twitter.com/#!/shelbyfero/status/41008343426416640 Her bio and stats on 12 December 2012 I'm not too crazy about me either. Location: California · http://favstar.fm/users/shelbyfero - 8,919 tweets. 770 following. 78,726 followers.

Adding "Cat Whisperer" to my resume hasn't been as life changing as I'd hoped.

20 December 2012 kdn ‏@kdn13 [^133.28] https://twitter.com/kdn13/status/281809145735307264 Her bio and stats on 21 December 2012: I have a weakness for split infinitives. Location: Bay Area, CA · instagram.com/kdnthirteen - 4,778 tweets. 258 following. 20,211 followers.

**Just added "Would work well with others** _if I could find a job_ **" to my resume.**

28 September 2011 ruthakers @ruthakers [^133.29] https://twitter.com/#!/ruthakers/status/119244326684471297 Her bio and stats on 9 November 2012: I had kids. So you didn't have to. Location: iPhone: 36.624344,-87.432732 · http://www.witstream.com/#ruth_akers - 11,583 tweets. 521 following. 16,806 followers. Italics added.

Oh God! Why did I put so many emoticons in my resume??????

22 February 2012 Bad Bad Leeroy Brown @bdbdleeroybrown [^133.30] https://twitter.com/#!/bdbdleeroybrown/status/172560048822820864 Twitter bio and stats on 8 June 2013: The baddest man in the whole damn town. bdbdleeroybrown.tumblr.com · http://favstar.fm/users/bdbdleeroybrown/recent - 25,416 tweets. 12,517 following. 13,451 followers.

My resume is just a photo of me taking a nap.

15 September 2012 Cassandra ‏@cazzawndruh [^133.31] https://twitter.com/cazzawndruh/status/247117157404663808 Her bio and stats on 29 October 2012: my name is Cassandra and i tweak.... I mean tweet. I'm pretty lame if you get to know me. I've been voted best teeth on twitter by creeps. Location: mayami mami · http://favstar.fm/users/cazzawndruh - 4,499 tweets. 688 following. 2,910 followers.

@cazzawndruh **hired!**

15 September 2012 Hot in Dallas ‏@Hotindallas [^133.32] https://twitter.com/Hotindallas/status/247117831609659393 Bio: Living and loving the Lifestyle in Big D! I love to laugh, smartasses, but I'm also kinda dirty ;-) Location: Dallas, TX. 4,146 tweets. 178 following. 2,558 followers.

A resume doesn't document failure.

19 September 2011 rands @rands [^133.33] https://twitter.com/#!/rands/status/115912434132336640 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 8,540 tweets. 499 following. 27,448 followers.

Never mistake survival for success, and never mistake burnout for experience.

27 November 2012 Iyad El-Baghdadi ‏@iyad_elbaghdadi [^133.34] https://twitter.com/iyad_elbaghdadi/status/273357710026747905 His bio: I startup startups, coach social media, tweet revolutions, and make fun of tyrants. Islamic libertarian. My projects: #ArabTyrantManual, #ArabSpringManifesto. Location: Dubai, UAE · el-baghdadi.com - 40,638 tweets. 1,271 following. 16,428 followers.

Success is many lies rolled into one.

22 August 2011 Eccentricandhow @Eccentricandhow [^133.35] https://twitter.com/#!/Eccentricandhow/status/105626593866682369 Her bio and stats on 19 April 2013: I am a typical Virgo: Read Linda Goodman and you're almost there. Ok-here's more trivia: I am the really TALL girl with the really SHORT hair. Go figure! 17,987 tweets. 808 following. 3,284 followers.

No generation will ever match the unimpeachable integrity of the baby boomers.

13 March 2012 David Steven @davidsteven [^133.36] https://twitter.com/#!/davidsteven/status/179536610218618880 Twitter bio and stats on 12 September 2013: International relations, global risks, resilience. Also Pakistan, Nigeria. At: Center on International Cooperation, NYU; Brookings, River Path; Global Dashboard. Location: England · globaldashboard.org. 16,738 tweets. 1,797 following. 3,842 followers.

Updating resume:

1. Steal someone else's resume

2. Make sure references can't be contacted

3. Spend night on twitter procrastinating

Truth

10 May 2011 Steve @FSUSteve [^133.37] https://twitter.com/#!/FSUSteve/status/68194700447846400 Bio and stats on 8 November 2012: My ride or die @mekaylasmoody Location: Florida · http://favstar.fm/users/FSUSteve - 57,242 tweets. 3,537 following. 12,316 followers.

All is fair in love, war and resumes.—psychopaths

17 April 2012 https://twitter.com/#!/aem76us/status/192466188389982208

I just got my BA from Princeton.

Well, not really.

I changed my LinkedIn profile to say I had one.

Still, I'm pretty pumped about it.

14 May 2012 Buck ‏@buck4itt [^133.38] https://twitter.com/buck4itt/status/202091149010284545 His bio and stats on 5 January 2013: American Humorist in a van wearing loose fitting shorts and holding a puppy. http://favstar.fm/users/buck4itt http://buck4itt.tumblr.com/ Under 18? Go away. Location: Northern California. 4,296 tweets. 9,308 following. 15,550 followers.

Thank you for your sending me your 25-page resume for the design job outlining your full employment history. - Sincerely, my recycling bin.

20 June 2011 designersays @designersays [^133.39] https://twitter.com/#!/designersays/status/82711765766504448 His bio and stats on 28 April 2013: When coworkers piss me off, I start sending them very serious work-related emails with a blank subject line. Don't fuck with me. Location: Sydney Australia · http://www.facebook.com/pages/Hieu-Nguyen/261238103906955 - 1,985 tweets. 458 following. 9,750 followers.

No experience.

No references.

No shirt.

No shoes.

No service.

Oh!

And a liberal arts degree!

Please stop laughing.

(My résumé in tweet form)

22 January 2011 Clarke Kant @clarkekant [^133.40] https://twitter.com/#!/clarkekant/status/29032233650094080 Bio and stats on 18 November 2012: I'm all for saving the world, just not necessarily the people. Now available on http://Witstream.com ! Location: America-ish · http://favstar.fm/users/clarkekant - 9,997 tweets. 776 following. 29,442 followers.

Dear Company: I want to apply for your jobs, but fuck all this 'cover letter' shit. Just hire me, we're both lazy, it'll work itself out.

23 September 2011 bllix, the tinier ‏@tinybllix - https://twitter.com/#!/tinybllix/status/117451471347400704 Her bio and stats on 28 February 2013: Yes, I'm @bllix. No, I'm not a bot. Yes, I'm also @loudbllix. No, I'm not schizophrenic. Yes, I'm real. No, I'm not a dude. Yes, I'm single. No, I'm busy later. Location: Portland, OR. · http://www.twitter.com/bllix - 3,853 tweets. 199 following. 1,357 followers. The same author posts as @bllix [^133.41], @tinybllix, @loudbllix and @bllixodus.

Applying for jobs. What color blood should I sign my cover letters with?

14 August 2011 Jess Dweck @TheDweck [^133.42] https://twitter.com/#!/TheDweck/status/102855906999541760 Twitter bio and stats on 27 June 2013: Writer for Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. Life coach. http://instagram.com/jessdweck - Location: New York City. 4,640 tweets. 578 following. 11,965 followers.

Thank you for your interest in our company. We are a single dark pit in a haunted forest and are not hiring at this time. Best of luck.

10 May 2013 Night Vale podcast ‏@NightValeRadio [^133.43] https://twitter.com/NightValeRadio/status/333046917720309762 Twitter bio and stats on 23 May 2013: WELCOME TO NIGHT VALE podcast: community radio for a small desert town. Turn on your radio & hide. New episodes every 1st & 15th. nightvale@commonplacebooks.com - Night Vale, USA · commonplacebooks.com/p/blog-page.html - 3,488 tweets. 327 following. 6,863 followers.

I should probably stop treating job interviews as opportunities to try some funny things out.

26 November 2010 Will Phillips @TheThryll [^133.44] https://twitter.com/#!/TheThryll/status/8218112801378304 His bio and stats on 17 January 2013: Handsome. Unemployed. Handsome. Ken Burns enthusiast. Location: Parts Unknown. 3,304 tweets. 742 following. 15,869 followers.

I have a phone interview tomorrow. What are some good questions to ask a phone?

16 February 2012 donni @donni [^133.45] https://twitter.com/#!/donni/status/170358607748136961 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Comedy sand wedge. Writer, performer, fledgling opener, packet submitter. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Sea cows probably never see cows. Location: Chicago City Of Wind · http://qr.net/donni - 9,640 tweets. 839 following. 25,773 followers.

Siri, get a job.

17 May 2012 donni ‏@donni [^133.46] https://twitter.com/#!/donni/status/203272463080112128 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Comedy sand wedge. Writer, performer, fledgling opener, packet submitter. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Sea cows probably never see cows. Location: Chicago City Of Wind · http://qr.net/donni - 9,640 tweets. 839 following. 25,773 followers.

Tomorrow is my first professional interview. When asked my weakness, I'm gonna be like "GIRLS WHAT'S MY WEAKNESS? MEN!! LOL jk I steal."

Sunday, 13 November 2011 ERRKUH. @hairicaaa [^133.47] https://twitter.com/#!/hairicaaa/status/135856036614643712 Her bio and stats on 9 May 2013: aaaand judging you. Location: chicago. 2,258 tweets. 733 following. 7,179 followers. jk = just kidding.

Interviewer: "What are you passionate about?"

Me: "Not wearing pants and sleeping in"

It's looking good guys, she said she'll be in touch.

20 September 2013 Little Bear ‏@boobsareimplied [^133.48] https://twitter.com/boobsareimplied/status/381236147428413440 Her bio: Enthusiasm enthusiast. I don't wear pants and I wanna make bank, bro. favstar.fm/users/boobsareimplied - 4,962 tweets. 1,492 following. 2,143 followers.

I love going to job interviews because I can't afford a therapist.

21 February 2011 Slashleen @Slashleen [^133.49] https://twitter.com/#!/Slashleen/status/39881363528089600 Her bio and stats on 29 May 2013: I have a tattoo of a potato to represent my love of carbs. I love @michaelfroh. contactslashleen@gmail.com – Location: Toronto, Canada · slashleen.tumblr.com - 3,266 tweets. 220 following. 72,729 followers.

You know you're at a classy staffing agency when there's a "no smoking" sign in the conference room

31 January 2013 Rupee Groupie ‏@rupeegroupie [^133.50] https://twitter.com/rupeegroupie/status/297106164951445504 Her bio and stats on 31 January 2013: cyberbully. Location: Cascadia · http://rupeegroupie.tumblr.com - 11,790 tweets. 573 following. 445 followers. She was interviewing in Bellevue Washington, across Lake Washington from Seattle.

Nothing like going to an interview with a pillow line on your face

27 June 2012 Charlottabad ‏@clindsaystone - https://twitter.com/clindsaystone/status/217948371980267522 Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 6 May 2013: Thigh High @clindsaysway [^133.51] I'm just a girl trying to get by. By get by I mean, do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight. http://favstar.fm/users/clindsaysway/recent - 11,690 tweets. 1,315 following. 6,886 followers.

Hello sir, I-*briefcase full of jellybeans falls open*

3 February 2012 brendle what ‏@brendlewhat [^133.52] https://twitter.com/brendlewhat/status/165631372327784448 Bio and stats on 1 September 2012: word fetishist. Location: dumpster behind powells. 22,121 tweets. 201 following. 7,311 followers.

so why do you want this job?

I really don't.

5 October 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^133.53] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/254131606804103169 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,223 tweets. 1,918 following. 1,773 followers.

"Why did I apply for this job? To work through my oppositional defiant disorder. You won't hear a peep out of me sir!'

24 April 2012 D.C. ‏@Jack_E_Oh [^133.54] https://twitter.com/#!/Jack_E_Oh/status/194799599964270593 No Twitter account with this ID found on 31 July 2013. He appeared to have been tweeting from New Jersey.

I'm good at being evasive when it comes to answering questions

10 April 2012 Mudblood ‏@DiscoLemonKayy [^133.55] https://twitter.com/#!/DiscoLemonKayy/status/189819636437626880 Her bio and stats on 30 October 2012: I'm a shade too awkward for pretty; this muggle bullshit is for the birds. Location: into the wild :) 26,411 tweets. 907 following. 6,509 followers.

Once had a job with only one benefit. It was doubt.

28 February 2011 Theodora Chester @beingtheo [^133.56] https://twitter.com/#!/beingtheo/status/42299987836682241 Her bio and stats on 8 December 2012: Lapsed writer, collecting distractions. 18,927 tweets. 1,630 following. 6,966 followers.

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Me: Lol.

11 March 2013 Jess ‏@thejessbess [^133.57] https://twitter.com/thejessbess/status/311311452956934144 Her bio and stats on 17 April 2013: favstar.fm/users/thejessbess... Location: Albuquerque. 4,060 tweets. 13,512 following. 14,830 followers.

Where do I see myself in 5 years?

Some special psychic school probably

25 April 2012 foxy j ‏@idreamofmayo [^133.58] https://twitter.com/#!/idreamofmayo/status/195142094413770753 Her bio and stats on 18 November 2012: kid at heart but not liver http://favstar.fm/users/idreamofmayo Location: (Hou/Bo) ston. 3,402 tweets. 231 following. 329 followers. No account with this ID found on 7 April 2013.

Hobbies? Sometimes I roll myself up in blankets and pretend I'm a burrito.

I like that. Do I have the job?

13 November 2013 Artur ‏@Bagyants [^133.59] https://twitter.com/Bagyants/status/400662844917551104 Bio and stats on 28 November 2013: I didn't make it as a police officer because whenever someone asked for backup I would just sing softly. Location: Kansas City. 224 tweets. 206 following. 9,019 followers.

Bonding with my interrogators

31 March 2013 donni ‏@donni [^133.60] https://twitter.com/donni/status/318591608796897280 His bio: Donni Saphire is my government name. At every open mic. Pitching monologue jokes. Writing a thing. More at TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com ) Still not a cop. Location: Chicago city limits · favstar.fm/users/donni/recent - 9,994 tweets. 897 following. 28,810 followers.

Why do job interviews make me feel so guilty. It like a date...if only I was a totally different person than who I am, they would want me!

27 November 2012 Rupee Groupie ‏@rupeegroupie [^133.61] https://twitter.com/rupeegroupie/status/273588249514098689 Her bio: cyberbully. Location: Cascadia · http://rupeegroupie.tumblr.com - 11,272 tweets. 551 following. 439 followers.

My favorite part about being a recruiter is lying to people.

7 October 2011 Spitler @Brad_Spitts [^133.62] https://twitter.com/#!/Brad_Spitts/status/122452010585964545 His Twitter screen name, bio and stat on 27 September 2013, when this tweet was found to have been deleted: Bradolph Spitler @Brad_Spitts \- The second son of a second son, now I got two sons, son. (and a daughter). Location: NorCal. 84 tweets. 90 following. 2,919 followers.

The right man for the job usually wants a better job.

12 November 2010 donni @donni [^133.63] https://twitter.com/#!/donni/status/3149877982797824 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Comedy sand wedge. Writer, performer, fledgling opener, packet submitter. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Sea cows probably never see cows. Location: Chicago City Of Wind · http://qr.net/donni - 9,640 tweets. 839 following. 25,773 followers.

The phrase "We're getting the band back together!" in a staffing context is funny, because have you ever seen a reunion tour? Not pretty.

13 July 2012 R/GA ‏@RGA [^133.64] https://twitter.com/RGA/status/223895888316207104 Bio and stats on 2 March 2013: R/GA is a full-service digital agency that transforms the way people interact with brands. Tweets courtesy of @Chapinc. Location: New York, NY · http://www.rga.com - 11,144 tweets. 1,103 following. 55,335 followers. Chapinc ‏@Chapinc Twitter bio and stats on 24 November 2014: 80 percent of success is just showing up. I have a spotty attendance record. Location: NYC/NJ - 10,054 tweets. 1,636 following. 4,357 followers.

My office is very diverse, we have all different kinds of white people here.

9 September 2011 Ron Mexico @Coastiefish [^133.65] https://twitter.com/#!/Coastiefish/status/112255955986681856 His bio and stats on 28 November 2012: lf you can only be good at one thing, be good at cheating....because if you're good at cheating, you're good at everything. Location: Miami! 2,840 tweets. 4,340 following. 11,592 followers.

Never hire someone who looks stupid. It's nature's warning.

13 April 2012 Alec Sulkin ‏@thesulk [^133.66] https://twitter.com/thesulk/status/190919619463229441 His bio and stats on 22 November 2012: Breaker of Swift Mustache Hairs. Location: Los Angeles. 6,748 tweets. 836 following. 481,460 followers.

Nobody chooses to be disabled. Be kind

18 July 2012 VanillaPaws ‏@MissItAintMe [^133.67] https://twitter.com/MissItAintMe/status/225648157302857728

Her bio and stats on 6 September 2012: Be nice or get away from me. 15,140 tweets. 754 following. 3,549 followers.

Citizenship is freedom in its work clothes.

5 November 2012 AlexSteffen ‏@AlexSteffen [^133.68] https://twitter.com/AlexSteffen/status/265607630762962945

His bio: I think, write and speak about how to live well and be a good ancestor... (pls note, I'm not able to answer all individual research queries or comments). Location: Seattle · http://www.alexsteffen.com/ - 9,453 tweets. 299 following, 10,588 followers.

Landing a career these days is like getting married; nobody wants to commit until they've taken advantage of you for at least a year or two.

5 July 2011 Joe Bizness @theJoeBiz [^133.69] https://twitter.com/#!/theJoeBiz/status/88404080791257088 His Twitter bio and stats on 27 September 2013: The trick to comedy is being able to unmercifully make fun of yourself without having thoughts of suicide. Location: CLE (veland) (Cleveland, Ohio) · thatsjoebiz.com. 4,939 tweets. 410 following. 6,948 followers.

I'm going to start a website that eats hours and hours of time and then spews nothing but shame and rejection on its users. Like USAJOBS.

18 September 2012 Jason Fritz ‏@JasonFritz1 [^133.70] https://twitter.com/JasonFritz1/status/248117237595131904 His bio: Contributor to Ink Spots. Former Army officer, tweets about security issues, the army, tanks, baseball, and cricket. Location: Washington, DC. 6,943 tweets. 729 following. 1,229 followers.

Reply:

@JasonFritz1 Applications don't take place on USAJOBS, but agencies are working to improve the process. Good luck! – Dan

18 September 2012 USAJOBS ‏@USAJOBS [^133.71] https://twitter.com/USAJOBS/status/248121792215003136 Bio: This is the official Twitter page for USAJOBS, the job site of the US Federal Government. For more information, see https://www.facebook.com/USAJOBS/info Location: Washington, DC · http://www.usajobs.gov - 1,900 tweets. 6 following. 7,631 followers.

Related:

Nothing like the joy of throwing an application down the USAJobs blackhole.

Should I ever get an interview from one, I may die of shock.

17 September 2012 Hayes Brown ‏@HayesBrown [^133.72] https://twitter.com/HayesBrown/status/247900972033114114 His bio: Tweeting int'l affairs, UN news, pop culture, various geekery. Fmr Fed contractor, writer at @watersedgeblog, @tcfdotorg and @undispatch. Thoughts are all mine. Location: Washington, DC · http://hirehayes.com 17,529 tweets. 781 following. 1,346 followers. His bio and stats on 10 December 2012: Blogger with @TP_Security. Twenty-something tweeting NatSec, IR, sundry geeky things. UN aficionado. RTs ≠ endorsement, fav's = bookmarks. Thoughts all mine. Location: Washington, DC · http://security.thinkprogress.org/ \- 23,311 tweets. 870 following. 2,026 followers.

Reply:

@HayesBrown **An interview? You're doing well if you even get an acknowledgement that someone glanced at your application.**

17 September 2012 Tim Mathews ‏@timmathews [^133.73] https://twitter.com/timmathews/status/247902207251456000 His Twitter bio and stats on 28 September 2013: Army JAG, ME native, former Infantry Officer, reasonably prudent person. Interests: Business, finance, NatSec, law in MENA/AfPak. Views are mine, not the Army's. Location: CONUS. 4,920 tweets. 391 following. 2,795 followers.

People are unemployed because human resource departments suck at their jobs. Neither Obama nor Romney can fix that.

12 July 2012 Tim Mathews ‏@timmathews [^133.74] https://twitter.com/timmathews/status/223618174963286017 His Twitter bio and stats on 28 September 2013: Army JAG, ME native, former Infantry Officer, reasonably prudent person. Interests: Business, finance, NatSec, law in MENA/AfPak. Views are mine, not the Army's. Location: CONUS. 4,920 tweets. 391 following. 2,795 followers. Tweeted during the campaign season leading up to the US national election.

If you work in HR, I immediately assume you're a moron.

20 June 2013 The Desert Gate ‏@thedesertgate [^133.75] https://twitter.com/thedesertgate/status/347935063347970048 Bio: Geopolitical Risk Analyst, Geography/GEOINT, Caucasus, Language, Culture, Geostrategy, Maps, Pipelines, Caffeine and Hate. RT/Mention/Follow/Link ≠ E. Location: Postern of Fate · goo.gl/1kzWI - 115 tweets. 439 following. 786 followers.

Several authors quoted above are military veterans. Their years in the military, plus re-adjustment time afterwards, places them behind others their age who are advancing up their respective career ladders. Veterans may find that their professional networks are less able to help with job hunting, compared with those available to their non-serving peers, who begin building their civilian-career networks at a younger age, when it is easier. While government efforts such as USAJobs are helping to reduce unemployment among veterans, at least ostensibly, the importance of the private sector cannot be understated.

" **The narrative is shifting from 'How do you help veterans?' to 'How do you invest in veterans?'** " - @jbrkam --- AWESOME.

21 June 2013 Kayla Williams ‏@kwilliams101 [^133.76] https://twitter.com/kwilliams101/status/348166052355637250 Bio: Author of Love My Rifle More Than You: Young and Female in the US Army. Location: Northern Virginia · http://vetvoice.com/userDiary.do?personId=419 - 372 tweets. 243 following. 565 followers. Underlining added.

Twitter bio and stats for John Kamin @jbrkam [^133.77] Project Manager at National Veterans Center, part time soldier and dope bass player. 656 tweets. 144 following. 150 followers.

Reply:

@kwilliams101 @jbrkam Working on this very topic right now.

21 June 2013 Crispin J. Burke ‏@CrispinBurke [^133.78] https://twitter.com/CrispinBurke/status/348172894406336513 Bio: Army Aviator, US military blogger, self-described pocketful of awesomeness. Does not represent the views of the Department of Defense. Location: San Antonio, Texas · about.me/crispinburke - 41,275 tweets. 1,556 following. 3,532 followers. Crispin J. Burke's articles in Medium: https://medium.com/@CrispinBurke

How companies fill jobs

hidden public.png http://lnkd.in/S_Xqed

16 April 2013 Philip Dana ‏@militarytalent ^133.79] https://twitter.com/militarytalent/status/324285126072745985 Points to: [ http://image-store.slidesharecdn.com/409c4bcc-a69e-11e2-9d2c-22000a93b239-large.png His Twitter bio: USNA grad, wired as an Ops Manager, but following my passion for Talent and the impact it has. My tweets are my own personal views. Location: Carlsbad, CA · http://www.linkedin.com/in/militarytalent - 2,180 tweets. 517 following. 677 followers.

The source of the statistics is not shown. It is assumed that the statistics apply to the private sector in the United States.

Philip Dana's tweet links to a graphic that compares the percentage of positions that are filled using open searches (which extend outside the organization) versus those that are filled privately, hidden from outsiders.

Open job market:

30% of jobs are filled through public job postings.

15% are filled through resume searches, also public.

45%

Hidden job market:

10% are filled through internal moves (hidden).

45% are filled through networking (hidden).

55% of jobs are filled through the hidden job market.

• • • • •

Write a job description like you want the job.

10 October 2010 rands @rands [^133.80] https://twitter.com/#!/rands/status/26994033039 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 8,540 tweets. 499 following. 27,448 followers.

If there was one metric which represents success for your talent function, what would it be?

#TChat #HR

7 May 2013 Usman Sheikh ‏@usmansheikh [^133.81] https://twitter.com/usmansheikh/status/331712820452413442 His bio: Co-Founder of IDENTIFI. On a mission to get the right people in the right jobs. Location: Singapore · http://www.usmansheikh.com - 3,321 tweets. 131 following. 817 followers. Underlining added.

Only 3 Qs needed for job interviews:

Can you do the job?

Will you love the job?

Can we tolerate you?

26 March 2012 https://twitter.com/#!/aem76us/status/184249761581383681 The tweet links to:

"Top Executive Recruiters Agree There Are Only Three True Job Interview Questions," by George Bradt, Forbes Magazine, 27 April 2011,  http://www.forbes.com/sites/georgebradt/2011/04/27/top-executive-recruiters-agree-there-are-only-three-key-job-interview-questions/

George Bradt @georgebradt [^133.82] Twitter bio and stats on 3 February 2013: Helping new leaders and their teams get done in 100 days what normally takes 6-12 months. And we're all new leaders all the time. Location: Connecticut · http://www.primegenesis.com/blog/ - 1,102 tweets. 24 following. 1,394 followers.

Forbes @Forbes [^133.83] Twitter bio and stats on 3 February 2013: Official Twitter account of http://Forbes.com , homepage for the world's business leaders. Location: New York, NY · http://forbes.com - 26,885 tweets. 361 following. 1,310,994 followers.

Who is fake and who is real, always a difficult decision.

2 February 2013 Andaleeb ‏@AndaleebRizvi [^133.84] https://twitter.com/AndaleebRizvi/status/297688041856847874 Her bio and stats on 3 February 2013: I am all that I write or say or draw or make. And still none of it. A gypsy I am and will remain. Make of it what you want. I still haven't decided. http://andaleeb-rizvi.blogspot.com/ - 5,223 tweets. 125 following. 356 followers.

"The reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you, but what he cannot reveal to you. Therefore if you would understand him, listen not to what he says but rather to what he does not say."

\- Khalil Gibran

14 August 2012 Ethar El-Katatney ‏@etharkamal [^133.85] https://twitter.com/etharkamal/status/235290682972049408 and http://www.twitlonger.com/show/ir5edd Her bio and stats on 29 November 2012: Cynical, international-award-winning journalist. MA, MBA. Apathetic bookworm. Sarcastic author. Jaded but still slightly quixotic Ibn Battuta Wannabe. Location: Cairo, Egypt. · http://etharelkatatney.wordpress.com/ - 22,077 tweets. 1,310 following. 37,693 followers.

Rule of making a cv:

It shouldn't be more than a page until you have 10 yrs experience

\- Ghalia Naseer #campusconversations2013 #FAST

16 April 2013 CIO Pakistan ‏@ciopk [^133.86] https://twitter.com/ciopk/status/324066369375199232 Bio: CIO Pakistan online. Location: Karachi, Pakistan · http://ciopakistan.com - 3,933 tweets. 39 following. 1,381 followers.

No Twitter ID found on 28 September 2013 for Ghalia Naseer [^133.87].

Tweeted during a panel discussion on hiring that was held at the university of the Foundation for Advancement of Science and Technology (FAST University) in Lahore, Pakistan, www.nu.edu.pk/

Most Resumes: "I'm awesome, pay me".

**Best Resumes: "I will improve your business, invest in me and your business"**.

7 June 2012 Jeremiah Owyang ‏@jowyang [^133.88] https://twitter.com/jowyang/status/210844506914963457 His bio and stats on 18 November 2012: Industry Analyst, Partner at Altimeter Group. Some tweets publish on timer. How I use Twitter http://bit.ly/LK0i - Location: Silicon Valley, CA · http://web-strategist.com/blog - 36,460 tweets. 13,132 following. 115,905 followers. Bio and stats on 27 April 2015: Founder of http://CrowdCompanies.com @CrowdCompanies, and housemate to @goodboyrumba - Location: Silicon Valley, CA - web-strategist.com/blog - 57,709 tweets. 18,513 following. 161,010 followers.

Reply:

@jowyang @jjx **Most Job Postings: "We are vast & important w/ buzzwords, & need slaves!"**

Best Job Postings: "We need your help. Friends?"

7 June 2012 Davien The Moose ‏@davienthemoose - https://twitter.com/davienthemoose/status/210852568375640067 Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 28 September 2013: Moose, not squirrel @secmoose [^133.89] Tweets are mine alone and do not represent my employer. B-movies. Sarcasm. Lightbulb jokes. Song parody. Python, ruby, BeEF. Your mom jokes. Location: EIEIO · secmoose.blogspot.com. 25,748 tweets. 1,086 following. 1,483 followers.

If your team is filled with people who work for the company, you'll soon be defeated by tribes of people who work for a cause.

13 August 2013 Usman Sheikh ‏@usmansheikh [^133.90] https://twitter.com/usmansheikh/status/367221536497082369 Twitter bio: Co-Founder of IDENTIFI. On a mission to get the right people in the right jobs. Location: Singapore · usmansheikh.com. 3,485 tweets. 84 following. 819 followers. The indefinite pronoun 'a' was removed above from before 'tribes.'

Hire those who move faster than you, can read your mind, and want your job.

3 November 2010 rands @rands [^133.91] https://twitter.com/#!/rands/status/5401998426 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 8,540 tweets. 499 following. 27,448 followers.

Your time management skills at the self-checkout lane in a grocery store tell me everything I'll ever need to know about you.

22 February 2012 Katrina Whipp @SheBanggs [^133.92] https://twitter.com/#!/SheBanggs/status/172552244225523713 Her bio and stats on 29 May 2013: That's me in the corner. I kiss like a fish, but never cry like a lover. Location: On The Street Where You Live · favstar.fm/users/SheBanggs - 3,421 tweets. 867 following. 13,159 followers.

I don't trust people who like me the second we meet. I'm an acquired taste.

6 September 2010 donni @donni [^133.93] https://twitter.com/donni/status/23206007704 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Comedy sand wedge. Writer, performer, fledgling opener, packet submitter. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Sea cows probably never see cows. Location: Chicago City Of Wind · http://qr.net/donni - 9,640 tweets. 839 following. 25,773 followers.

Great minds do not think alike. Simple minds do.

7 February 2012 Justin Bukkake @hot_spunk [^133.94] https://twitter.com/#!/hot_spunk/status/166917865214185472 No Twitter account with this ID found on 28 September 2013. A Google Search query on that date found only one other instance of this phrase, posted in 2012 on a blog possibly by the same gentleman: http://plumthumper.tumblr.com/page/2

A good leader knows of the immense returns realized with small unexpected investments in your people.

31 July 2011 rands @rands [^133.95] https://twitter.com/#!/rands/status/97668765541597184 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 8,540 tweets. 499 following. 27,448 followers.

CFO asks CEO 'What happens if we invest in developing our people & then they leave us?'

CEO: What if we don't, and they stay?

29 August 2012 Martynas Nikolajevas ‏@martynasn [^133.96] https://twitter.com/martynasn/status/240788864585826304 His bio and stats on 5 December 2012: Entrepreneur, business developer. Fascinated by the interplay between people and technology. Currently busy bringing beauty services online. Location: Vilnius, Lithuania · http://about.me/martynas.nikolajevas - 591 tweets. 164 following. 425 followers.

The best people are usually a pain in the ass.

18 December 2009 rands @rands [^133.97] https://twitter.com/#!/rands/status/6817157218 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 8,540 tweets. 499 following. 27,448 followers.

most difficult decisions for leaders is to choose between loyalty & merit?

people with merit often are not loyal and loyal don't have merit.

19 July 2013 akchishti ‏@akchishti [^133.98] https://twitter.com/akchishti/status/358181519866609664 Bio: journalist, counter-terrorism student & a proud owner of AMTECH SYS, Af-Pak's largest video conferencing company. Location: Karachi · akchishti.blogspot.com - 28,564 tweets. 891 following. 12,234 followers.

Reply:

@akchishti Dats true in every kind of organization n every leader has to make this choice whether he puts the greater good above his EGO

19 July 2013 Nikhil Singh ‏@nicks_663 [^133.99] https://twitter.com/nicks_663/status/358183317008429056 Bio: Engineer by Education, Film Director by choice....More on FB, No Followback or RTs Don,t sugarcoat stuff, here to catch up on the trends and be heard! Location: Mumbai · facebook.com/nicks.iitd - 3,301 tweets. 424 following. 302 followers.

Dats = that is. n = and

One thing I am learning about hiring: Take them out to lunch with the team. It reveals so much about fit and about who they are as a person.

7 February 2014 Design UX/UI ‏@DesignUXUI [^133.100] https://twitter.com/DesignUXUI/status/431944463611469825 Bio and stats on 26 February 2014: Designer with a passion for simplicity and ɹoıʌɐɥǝq ɹǝsn ƃuıʎɟıpoɯ. — Dream. Think. Do. — #UX #UI #design #tech #code — Husband to @forouzanshaisi — ✝ \- Location: San Francisco, CA · dribbble.com/jonshariat - 8,564 tweets. 1,127 following. 1,949 followers.

Jon Shariat then suggested that if the candidate is introverted, taking them out with just one or two others might be more relaxing and could encourage the candidate to open up and interact. This draws the candidate away from formal in-office interviews and places everyone in a less stressful setting.

• • • • •

Emma Coats on hiring in her field:

One of the most important things for a developing artist: find people who are genuinely passionate about what they do and hold on to them.

31 May 2012 Emma Coats ‏@lawnrocket [^133.101] https://twitter.com/lawnrocket/status/208344512286826497 Her bio and stats on 6 February 2013: Former story artist at Pixar, now out in the world writing & directing films. Location: Los Angeles, CA · http://emmacoats.com - 6,564 tweets. 356 following. 10,556 followers.

Roboticist, writer, carpenter, mechanic, all can be passionate about their work. As an artist, apathy is deadly. Passion is fuel.

31 May 2012 Emma Coats ‏@lawnrocket [^133.102] https://twitter.com/lawnrocket/status/208345128543334400 Her bio and stats on 6 February 2013: Former story artist at Pixar, now out in the world writing & directing films. Location: Los Angeles, CA · http://emmacoats.com - 6,564 tweets. 356 following. 10,556 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  134. Economics

Busy day at the value farm.

25 February 2011 @DreamTriem - https://twitter.com/#!/DreamTriem/status/41204239057428480 Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 28 September 2013: TriemTeam @TriemTeam [^134.1] I eat a lot of phở. Locations: AK - Seattle – DC. 10,355 tweets. 168 following. 183 followers. Tweeted while working at a company conducting independent valuations for clients engaged in M&A activity.

My other economy is a bubble.

14 July 2009 Joe Schmitt @joeschmitt [^134.2] on Favrd. URL lost. His Twitter bio and stats on 22 March 2013: the second T is silent. Location: Chicago · http://joeschmitt.tumblr.com/post/143209840/joeschmitt - 11,550 tweets. 2,367 following. 7,306 followers.

Overheard at dinner: All the big families have gone to the Congo

7 October 2012 Mahim Maher ‏@Mahim_Maher [^134.3] https://twitter.com/Mahim_Maher/status/254692947893817345 Her bio: I blog for the Jewish Journal, work as a Karachi city editor at The Express Tribune, study urban growth, teach English at The Lyceum. Location: Karachi, Pakistan. http://tribune.com.pk. 6,722 tweets. 187 following. 3,831 followers.

Everyone needs a good cry, even men. I guess that's what the Stock Market is for.

14 December 2011 shane @shanethevein [^134.4] https://twitter.com/#!/shanethevein/status/147100736415731712 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: Twitter should be an escape, not a destination. http://favstar.fm/users/shanethevein Location: America's Finest City! · http://shanethevein.tumblr.com/ - 21,001 tweets. 5,385 following. 16,054 followers.

Recession-Plagued Nation Demands New Bubble To Invest In

headline in The Onion, issue 44•29, 14 July 2008, http://www.theonion.com/articles/recessionplagued-nation-demands-new-bubble-to-inve,2486/

The Onion @TheOnion [^134.5] Twitter bio and stats on 28 September 2013: America's Finest News Source. Also at http://facebook.com/theonion - theonion.com - 23,881 tweets. 9 following. 5,336,709 followers.

The following tweet by CJ Werleman was posted on the night before Facebook's IPO:

Universal Law: Facebook's share price will continue to go up until you buy it.

17 May 2012 CJ Werleman @rationalists [^134.6] https://twitter.com/#!/rationalists/status/203314465108799488 He had 21,680 followers. Twitter stats on 12 April 2013: USA · cjwerleman.com – 14,160 tweets. 612 following. 28,624 followers. Twitter stats on 28 September 2013: 16,317 tweets. 838 following. 26,796 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 21 February 2014: Author 'Crucifying America' and 'God Hates You. Hate Him Back' (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00GA65DQY/ref=cjwe02-20 ) Op-Ed Columnist for Salon/Alternet. Location: USA · cjwerleman.com – 19,014 tweets. 922 following. 28,113 followers.

The hype surrounding the IPO boosted investor interest in owning the stock and pushed up Facebook's pre-IPO valuations. The stock surged on the first day but then lost a quarter of its starting value by the end of the month. The performance of Facebook's IPO depressed the valuations of other technology companies.

Remember when we lived in a world filled with crazy bubbles and we had all this money and no one knew where it came from?

Good times.

7 November 2011 Adrian Woodworth @navanax [^134.7] https://twitter.com/#!/navanax/status/133661761839702016 Bio and stats on 20 December 2012: I am not bitter, I am resentful. There is a difference. One may be resentful and still taste great. Location: The Big Smoke · http://favstar.fm/users/navanax/recent - 1,997 tweets. 3,527 following. 6,933 followers.

Why must the U.S. and most developed countries have a "recovery" that's predicated on housing prices soaring to unaffordable levels?

3 April 2014 Jesse Colombo ‏@TheBubbleBubble [^134.8] https://twitter.com/TheBubbleBubble/status/451812416905834497 Bio: Analyst warning of economic bubbles; Forbes columnist; Recognized by the London Times for predicting the Financial Crisis: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesse_Colombo - http://www.forbes.com/sites/jessecolombo/ - Location: New York - 44,043 tweets. 48,577 following. 58,932 followers.

The young are getting absolutely destroyed by student debt, terrible job prospects, and now re-bubbling housing. It's infuriating.

3 April 2014 Jesse Colombo ‏@TheBubbleBubble [^134.9] https://twitter.com/TheBubbleBubble/status/451812177864060928 Bio: Analyst warning of economic bubbles; Forbes columnist; Recognized by the London Times for predicting the Financial Crisis: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesse_Colombo - http://www.forbes.com/sites/jessecolombo/ - Location: New York - 44,043 tweets. 48,577 following. 58,932 followers.

Jesse Colombo writes about how bubbles in housing and finance, large foreign economies, and the commodities markets encourage bubble-driven economic growth in the US. He argues that these bubbles create a sense of false wealth.

The problem with economists is

1. their laboratory is the global economy and

2. they don't know what they're talking about

10 May 2013 The Desert Gate ‏@thedesertgate [^134.10] https://twitter.com/thedesertgate/status/332999743254974464 His bio: Geography/GEOINT, Caucasus, Language, Culture, Geostrategy, Maps, Pipelines. RT/Mention/Follow/Link ≠ E – Location: Hlavní Město · goo.gl/1kzWI - 4,255 tweets. 429 following. 495 followers.

Economics is largely theology.

Economics can interpret the past but not the future.

Experts have only predicted three out of the last nine recessions.

Robert Edward Mitchell ^134.11] in conversation on 5 June 2012. Three out of nine is a saying, it's not empirical, he said on 14 September 2014. See also: A Concise History of Economists' Assumptions about Markets: From Adam Smith to Joseph Schumpeter, by Robert Edward Mitchell, Praeger, 2014, [ http://www.abc-clio.com/ABC-CLIOCorporate/product.aspx?pc=A4494C

Economists' Assumptions describes the models and economic assumptions of famous economists, and questions the validity of those assumptions today. These questions are important because of how these economists continue to influence contemporary policymaking, investment-fund management, and personal financial planning.

Never trust an economic journalist who doesn't live in walking distance from the dollar store.

12 March 2014 Sarah Kendzior ‏@sarahkendzior [^134.12] https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/443924695067287552 Bio: Writer on politics, economy, media. Columnist for @AJEnglish. Researcher on Central Asia. Recovering academic. Location: St. Louis · sarahkendzior.com – 18,221 tweets. 1,081 following. 20,826 followers.

@sarahkendzior You can say the same about banking regulators and board members

12 March 2014 Sean Caulfield ‏@Seanismoney [^134.13] https://twitter.com/Seanismoney/status/443925440621977600 Bio: Poker, Beer, Boston RTs ≠ Endorsement (unless it makes you laugh). Location: Boston, MA. 75,670 tweets. 420 following. 618 followers.

**Economists don't really understand money** :p

11 March 2014 SonaliRanade ‏@sonaliranade [^134.14] https://twitter.com/sonaliranade/status/443567218505572352 Bio: Trader. Location: Seattle · sonaliranade.com - 180,091 tweets. 777 following. 51,448 followers. She had been tweeting about virtual currencies versus fiat money.

One of the most pernicious myths of our age is the idea that businesses are in favour of free markets.

16 September 2011 David Steven ‏@davidsteven [^134.15] https://twitter.com/#!/davidsteven/status/114627970416656384 Twitter bio and stats on 12 September 2013: International relations, global risks, resilience. Also Pakistan, Nigeria. At: Center on International Cooperation, NYU; Brookings, River Path; Global Dashboard. Location: England · globaldashboard.org. 16,738 tweets. 1,797 following. 3,842 followers.

Sweden collects 50% of GDP in tax & has 5% growth,

US collects 25% & has 1% growth.

Is tax good for growth or who explains the paradox?

1 August 2011 Hans Rosling @HansRosling [^134.16] https://twitter.com/#!/HansRosling/status/98206067959410688 His Twitter bio and stats on 28 September 2013: Professor Global Health, Karolinska Institutet. Edutainer & co-founder of Gapminder Foundation. Location: Stockholm, Sweden · gapminder.org. 2,166 tweets. 82 following. 138,997 followers.

The US economy is so huge that a 1% increase in US gross domestic product (GDP) is far greater in absolute terms than Sweden's growth at the time.

A problem with high tax rates is that taxes can marginalize benefits from increased productivity. There is a truism about Canadians in Vancouver BC not working as hard or as long as their counterparts "down the road" in Seattle, where there are no state or local income taxes. Taxes claim such a large share of Canadians' incomes (with rates highest on the last dollar earned) that extra efforts may bring scant improvements in take-home pay. Why work longer and harder if it barely shows up in your paycheck?

High taxes do not always correspond with economic benefits or better service levels for citizens. In Brazil, for example, where federal taxes and other national-government revenues accounted for an estimated 38.9% of GDP in 2013 according to the CIA's World Factbook on 12 July 2014: [ https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/rankorder/2221rank.html?countryname=Brazil&countrycode=br&regionCode=soa&rank=47#br ] government bureaucracies consume much of this revenue in-house without offering the level of services that more efficient governments provide with less burdensome tax systems. In Venezuela, Egypt, India and other countries where government-owned enterprises (parastatals) exercise an oversize role in the economy, and where government-funds leakage and economic cross-subsidization of energy and food create economic distortions, raising taxes and boosting government involvement in the economy can have little positive macro-economic impact.

Using the same methodology that the CIA World Factbook employed to calculate national-government participation in the economy of Brazil, federal taxes and other national government revenues in the United States were estimated at only 17% of GDP for 2013. The figure of 25% in the above tweet likely includes state and local governments too. In the CIA World Factbook, the UK's national government receipts were estimated at 41.1% of GDP in 2013, whereas Canada's national government consumed 37.7% of GDP in 2013.

The concept of GDP growth being 'good' is questionable because it rewards wastefulness at the expense of efficiency and sustainability. For example, it rewards buying single-use batteries rather than rechargeables. It encourages long-distance commuting in single-occupancy cars instead of people living within walking distance of their workplaces.

If a drinks-bottling company were to build a bottling plant that depleted and degraded local water supplies, it would boost GDP at the cost of local residents having to buy water or traveling to collect it elsewhere. This occurred when Coca-Cola opened a plant in Plachimada in the Indian state of Kerala in 2000. The Plachimada plant was reportedly able to withdraw up to a million liters of groundwater a day, which caused water wells in the surrounding area to fail or become brackish.

Kerala provides an example of an area with low per-capita incomes but a high quality of life, high ecological diversity, and high literacy rates – albeit thanks in part to remittances from non-resident Malayalis. The southern two-thirds of Sri Lanka provides another example.

What indicators (economic and otherwise) would provide more useful information about a country than it's GDP? Instead of boosting GDP, what values might better reflect your priorities and perspectives?

Jehangir Pocha provides additional observations below on using GDP as a measurement tool.

Fox Business Channel: For those who want business advice from the people that paid half a billion dollars for Myspace.

5 July 2012 Eric Martin ‏@BadAdviceNurse - https://twitter.com/badadvicenurse/status/220932383120166912 Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 14 July 2013: Eric Martin @EricMarten [^134.17] 2008 Beer Olympics 5th place finisher. When I was 4 I got a crayon stuck in my nose and had to go to the doctor to get it removed. Screenwriter. Location: Los Angeles - 4,123 tweets. 313 following. 15,095 followers.

An economist is someone who doesn't know what he's talking about - and makes you feel it's your fault.

Anonymous. This popular joke pre-dates the rise of the Internet. An Internet search on 28 September 2013 did not reveal any clues as to the author's identity.

I'm starting to think that financial institutions are only in it for the money.

21 April 2012 Jocelyn Plums ‏@FilthyRichmond [^134.18] https://twitter.com/#!/FilthyRichmond/status/193921339877371904 Twitter bio and stats on 5 March 2013 for Jocelyn Plums @FilthyRichmond - Kiss Mommy's cold sore and make it better! #RVA http://FilthyRichmond.com Location: Richmond, VA · http://favstar.fm/users/filthyrichmond/recent - 9,914 tweets. 3,384 following. 65,783 followers.

**Korean banking sector is "safe", sez regulator, despite 16 closures and one fatal CEO** _autodefenestration_

http://jg.sg/6l

26 September 2011 Josh Giersch ‏@joshgiersch [^134.19] https://twitter.com/joshgiersch/status/118312838434533377 Bio and stats on 12 April 2013: http://josh.sg/ - 2,513 tweets. 355 following. 256 followers. Italics added. sez = says.

_Defenestrate:_ to throw (something) out of a window.

_Autodefenestration:_ to throw oneself out of a window.

27 February 2013 Sam Jackson ‏@smjcksn [^134.20] https://twitter.com/smjcksn/status/306897933138288640 Bio and stats on 12 April 2013: Bass maestro extraordinaire in @FightTheDice. I wear @ydwyaclothing – Location: Shropshire, UK · FightTheDice.co.uk - 16,363 tweets. 24,424 following. 59,101 followers. Italics added.

If you rob a bank you go to jail. If a bank robs you and you get too uppity about it, you also go to jail.

6 December 2011 Artur Bagyants @Bagyants [^134.21] https://twitter.com/#!/Bagyants/status/144219236607328257 His bio and stats on 23 November 2012: Some people grunt at the gym; I scream at the top of my lungs THEY KILLED MY FAMILY as I lift weights. Location: Kansas · http://favstar.fm/users/Bagyants - 486 tweets. 232 following. 6,086 followers.

My charges are criminal.

28 December 2011 Theodora Chester @beingtheo [^134.22] https://twitter.com/#!/beingtheo/status/152172629887959040 Her bio and stats on 8 December 2012: Lapsed writer, collecting distractions. 18,927 tweets. 1,630 following. 6,966 followers.

It's ironic that the people who created the credit score system are the same people who are irresponsible with our money.

21 December 2010 Prime Directive @YUCKYBOT [^134.23] https://twitter.com/#!/YUCKYBOT/status/17443588992409600 His bio and stats on 18 November 2012: McGriddle Enthusiast,Once Was Forced To Sit Through 'CATS' With Poopy Underwear. RESPECT THIS PINK TOWEL!*BEEP BOOP* Location: Norwich, CT · http://pinktowels.tumblr.com/ - 16,016 tweets. 675 following. 25,252 followers. His display photo showed him with a pink towel draped over his head.

We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like. America is stupid.

31 May 2010 Sarcastic Commentary @SarcasmsWeapon [^134.24] https://twitter.com/SarcasmsWeapon/status/15131894725 Her bio and stats on 3 April 2014: Over worked (but super hot) graduate school student getting through her masters one sarcastic tweet at a time. Location: Miami. 15,353 tweets. 671 following. 1,691 followers.

Told Best Buy manager his store was a temple built to honor false gods.

He agreed.

Employees+customers wander out towards new horizon.

23 October 2010 J Chastain ‏@J_Chastain - https://twitter.com/J_Chastain/status/28529309802 Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 28 September 2013: Kat Chastain @kat_chastain [^134.25] Queer writer drawer video games Los Angeles play cool game by thecatamites + me http://harmonyzone.org/GobletGrotto.html also http://trashbabes.com. friendly · mu-foundation.org. 7,979 tweets. 218 following. 6,428 followers. Best Buy Co., Inc. operated retail stores selling consumer electronics in the United States, Mexico, Canada and China.

Just because it might be the best system in the World, doesn't mean it isn't broken.

31 August 2012 Samoht ‏@redpawn3 [^134.26] https://twitter.com/redpawn3/status/241523511565381632 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Solitary Dad, with my kids 5/6 out of 14 days. Location: Backstage · http://favstar.fm/users/redpawn3 - 58,559 tweets. 3,037 following. 5,069 followers.

Political arrangements alter so slowly because people who reach the top necessarily come to assume the system was OK after all.

3 April 2013 Alain de Botton ‏@alaindebotton [^134.27] https://twitter.com/alaindebotton/status/319386556353875968 Bio: Writer; most recently of 'Religion for Atheists'. Location: London · http://tinyurl.com/chcbro9 - 594 tweets. 4,574 following. 350,350 followers.

I haven't done anything productive in years.

Two can play this game Mr. President.

18 March 2011 Jason was here @Jason_maybe [^134.28] https://twitter.com/#!/Jason_maybe/status/48772841667170304 Bio and stats on 3 April 2013: Wife. Sister. Mommy Blogger. Knee-high sock collector. Zumba Instructor. Vegan. Total Diva! Yoga Pants Enthusiast. Breast Feeder. Honey Boo Boo's body double. Location: Central Massachusetts :( · http://jasonmaybe.tumblr.com - 5,874 tweets. 749 following. 7,815 followers. Most recent tweet on 3 April 2013 was dated 29 October 2012.

I'm the most successful of my high school graduating class if you don't count doctors (cheating) or the last five years (ruinous spiral).

21 November 2012 The Bosha ‏@TheBosha [^134.29] https://twitter.com/TheBosha/status/271461737306419200 His bio and stats on 23 November 2012: Get off my lawn. Location: Near the Tannhäuser Gate · http://www.witstream.com/#jim_bosha - 13,240 tweets. 505 following. 12,064 followers.

My bucket list is just the words "afford things" written in orange crayon on a paper towel.

30 October 2011 wheatnik @wheatnik [^134.30] https://twitter.com/#!/wheatnik/status/130746496147664896 Bio and stats on 31 January 2013: A staggering case of narcissism gone wrong. Still filterless after all these years. 73% of my tweets are about sex. 28% are about tv. 16% are about math. Location: No longer North Cakalaka · http://favstar.fm/users/wheatnik/most_favorited - 1,494 tweets. 813 following. 11,229 followers.

Roommate tried to pay his half of the rent with a dead bird again.

Looked like the same one as last month

15 February 2013 donni ‏@donni [^134.31] https://twitter.com/donni/status/302469452719599616 His bio: AKA Donni Saphire. Joke sayer, sketch writer, butt dancer. I'll do your showcase for free! More at TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com ) Stealing babies is wrong. Location: Chicago but restless · favstar.fm/users/donni/recent - 9,973 tweets. 895 following. 27,767 followers. Could be referring to a cat.

We're out of groceries and I have no car.

Asking myself, "What would the pioneers do?"

A small voice from within whispers, "Eat the dog."

18 July 2012 Kelly Pentland ‏@MmeSurly [^134.32] https://twitter.com/MmeSurly/status/225678528174231552

Her bio and stats on 6 November 2012: I think Roseanne thinks that she's my real mom. http://mmesurly.tumblr.com - 29,525 tweets. 499 following. 12,652 followers. Her bio and stats on 25 December 2013: pain is french for bread. mmesurly.tumblr.com. 13,796 tweets. 796 following. 18,546 followers.

Our flat's so cold all the time that we have a pensioner style 'heat or eat' dilemma going on.

It's not as glamorous as it sounds.

12 October 2013 EastKentTom ‏@EastKentTom [^134.33] https://twitter.com/EastKentTom/status/388971283800940544 Twitter bio and stats on 15 October 2013: Based on a true story. Location: Margate, UK. 13,654 tweets. 455 following. 2,059 followers.

MONEY NEEDS ME!

8 July 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^134.34] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/354240037803667457 Bio: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · pelsjas.wordpress.com - 18,648 tweets. 2,495 following. 2,613 followers.

I'd have a lot of money if we were allowed to make it ourselves.

Like, with crayons.

14 October 2011 Donni Saphire @donni [^134.35] https://twitter.com/#!/donni/status/124966824092762112 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Comedy sand wedge. Writer, performer, fledgling opener, packet submitter. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Sea cows probably never see cows. Location: Chicago City Of Wind · http://qr.net/donni - 9,640 tweets. 839 following. 25,773 followers.

1993 Life Goal: to be rich and famous

2003 Life Goal: to be financially secure and well-known

2013 Life Goal: to own a washing machine

9 April 2013 Ari Scott ‏@ariscott [^134.36] https://twitter.com/ariscott/status/321818715597455361 Her bio and stats on 26 April 2013: Writer at UCB. Location: NYC · ariscott.com. 1,998 tweets. 630 following. 8,365 followers.

I'm saving up to buy a prison.

12 April 2013 CJ Werleman ‏@rationalists [^134.37] https://twitter.com/rationalists/status/322818133163380737 Twitter stats: USA · cjwerleman.com – 14,160 tweets. 612 following. 28,624 followers. Twitter stats on 28 September 2013: 16,317 tweets. 838 following. 26,796 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 21 February 2014: Author 'Crucifying America' and 'God Hates You. Hate Him Back' (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00GA65DQY/ref=cjwe02-20 ) Op-Ed Columnist for Salon/Alternet. Location: USA · cjwerleman.com – 19,014 tweets. 922 following. 28,113 followers.

The economy is fine and everyone has gas.

In this picture I drew.

29 September 2008 Dr. Taco ‏@blairblends [^134.38] https://twitter.com/blairblends/status/939610026 Bio and stats 12 August 2012: Visual effects, composer, sound designer, voiceover and nerd guy from Texas. Prepare for predatory blending! Location: Texas. 41,827 tweets. 246 following. 2,703 followers.

Guys, I had the best dream last night. I was driving down the road, and get this...

My gas light was off!

17 October 2012 Andrew ‏@andrewmonea [^134.39] https://twitter.com/andrewmonea/status/258650630820884480 His bio and stats on 20 October 2012: If anyone asks, I'm not here. I take pictures for fun. They're just jokes, try not to be an ass. Location: Ohio http://favstar.fm/users/andrewmonea/recent - 2,299 tweets. 729 following. 1,899 followers.

If I win the lottery tonight, I'm going to fill my car all the way up with gas.

30 March 2012 Sean ‏@SeanINCypress [^134.40] https://twitter.com/SeanINCypress/status/185873530565570560 His bio and stats on 15 December 2012: How much do I care about you? Well, I cry when I daydream about washing your hair, and I have a mini statue of you on my Atari made from cat poop. Location: Houston, TX · http://favstar.fm/users/seanincypress - 1,206 tweets. 705 following. 13,263 followers.

I check my bank account compulsively. For the same reasons why we open the refrigerator repeatedly, in hopes food will magically appear.

20 June 2011 Katie @MoCannoli [^134.41] https://twitter.com/#!/MoCannoli/status/82916511081168896 No Twitter account with this ID found on 28 September 2013.

My bank account is dead inside.

12 February 2013 dudi sharon ‏@Thedudish [^134.42] https://twitter.com/Thedudish/status/301593763430690816 His bio: I wish I had the ability to read my own mind. Location: Under the fridge · http://favstar.fm/users/thedudish/recent - 986 tweets. 753 following. 10,290 followers.

If you can help me find my wallet, there may be some punch cards in it for you.

10 September 2013 Xung Lam ‏@xunglam [^134.43] https://twitter.com/xunglam/status/377510377602314240 Bio: My name is pronounced Sung. I am also @Bakedspeare. Location: Seattle · favstar.fm/users/xunglam - 705 tweets. 3,017 following. 4,053 followers. Punch cards are available free at some retail establishments. Customers usually receive a mark on the card each time they patronize the establishment. After a certain number of visits, a customer may receive a free or discounted item or service, or some other promotional offer.

I'm at my best sitting in my chair rocking to and fro wanting money.

9 October 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^134.44] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/255573885456621568 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,223 tweets. 1,918 following. 1,773 followers.

I always pay bills sitting by the window. I like to give stray bullets a fighting chance.

President's Day in the United States, 21 February 2011 rodney @rodney_at_large [^134.45] https://twitter.com/#!/rodney_at_large/status/39857438207393792 His bio and stats on 20 December 2012: I'm awesome and sometimes I lie. Location: @rodney_at_large follows you · favstar.fm/users/rodney_at_large - 6,442 tweets. 484 following. 26,173 followers. The 'follows you' notation above is not true.

" **With great power comes a great electricity bill."**

1 February 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^134.46] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/297250695529242626 Her bio: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 12,366 tweets. 1,884 following. 1,930 followers.

"Your home will be heated following this 15-second ad."

13 January 2014 David Holmes ‏@holmesdm [^134.47] https://twitter.com/holmesdm/status/422840040432357376 Bio: Hey I do social + video + words for @pandodaily. Also done stuff for @fastcompany @stereogum @dailydot @ProPublica @tnynewsdesk. Email me: david@pandodaily.com – Location: bushwick bk · http://pando.com/author/davidmholmes/ - 9,504 tweets. 1,448 following. 2,001 followers.

Tweeted on the day that Google Inc. announced that it had entered into an agreement to acquire Nest Labs, a business specializing in smart thermostats and smoke detectors, for $3.2 billion in cash. This prompted discussions about how Google's ad-delivery business could be integrated into Nest's in-home sensors.

• • • • •

The lottery: You can't win if you don't play!

Also, you can't win, period, statistically speaking.

12 September 2011 Donni Saphire @donni [^134.48] https://twitter.com/#!/donni/status/113336618844307457 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Comedy sand wedge. Writer, performer, fledgling opener, packet submitter. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Sea cows probably never see cows. Location: Chicago City Of Wind · http://qr.net/donni - 9,640 tweets. 839 following. 25,773 followers.

Lotteries have been called a stupidity tax.

I just added "financial stability" to my Amazon wishlist.

6 September 2012 Kervin Ferreira ‏@kervinf [^134.49] https://twitter.com/kervinf/status/243719870192156674 His bio and stats on 5 November 2012: Graphic designer. Lover of all that is cool. Expert of awesome. Location: ENY, Brooklyn. · http://iamcreativ.com/ - 9,233 tweets. 1,245 following. 5,283 followers.

If money talks, mine would mostly say "goodbye."

15 September 2011 Maral Ghanma @StatusInBeirut [^134.50] https://twitter.com/#!/StatusInBeirut/status/114253386047688704 Her Twitter bio and stats on 19 August 2013: People say I'm stubborn, opinionated, and oppositional. I disagree. Location: Globular Cluster 9 · statusinbeirut.blogspot.com. 17,433 tweets. 783 following. 23,439 followers.

I'm having an out-of-money experience.

31 December 2011 Fallun Angel ‏@Fallun_Angel [^134.51] https://twitter.com/Fallun_Angel/status/153159034470547457 Bio and stats on 27 October 2012: An angel with horns. http://favstar.fm/users/Fallun_Angel - 8,261 tweets. 1,213 following. 2,790 followers.

Look Ma, NO RANDS!

10 September 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^134.52] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/245405073587445760 Her bio and stats on 12 September 2012: I'm always dressed as if someone died because wait. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa. 6,093 tweets. 1,153 following. 880 followers.

South Africa's currency is the Rand. The tweet plays on a phrase that a child could use when riding a bicycle, "Look Ma, no hands!"

Facebook founder refinances home loan at 1.05%. Shows how prime beneficiary of zero rate policies are the rich, HF's, Commodity Speculators etc

17 July 2012 sandip sabharwal ‏@sandipsabharwal [^134.53] https://twitter.com/sandipsabharwal/status/225125464556052480 Bio: Fund Manager. Location: Mumbai. 987 tweets. 41 following. 1,438 followers. Spaces added after the period and commas above.

HFs = hedge funds. Zero-rate-interest policies also drive average-income earners to make more risky investments, in search of higher returns, because the interest paid on government bonds (safer) is so paltry.

Jesse Colombo on zero-rate policies and their effects in the US:

The average person will fall for the bubble trap and get sucked into borrowing, excessive spending and buying highly overvalued investments.

2 April 2014 Jesse Colombo ‏@TheBubbleBubble [^134.54] https://twitter.com/TheBubbleBubble/status/451517979566825472 Bio and stats on 3 April 2014: Analyst warning of economic bubbles; Forbes columnist; Recognized by the London Times for predicting the Financial Crisis: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesse_Colombo - http://www.forbes.com/sites/jessecolombo/ - Location: New York - 44,043 tweets. 48,577 following. 58,932 followers.

Reply:

@TheBubbleBubble they're not investments. All of this is being driven by near zero rates & QE to infinity.

2 April 2014 Gary Belkin ‏@GBELKIN1 [^134.55] https://twitter.com/GBELKIN1/status/451520071354290177 Bio and stats on 3 April 2014: Location: U.S.A. 16,675 tweets. 94 following. 122 followers.

QE = quantitative easing, whereby central banks buy financial assets from private banks and publicly listed corporations. Such purchases focus on long-term assets, thereby pushing down long-term interest rates. It can be difficult, if not impossible, for central banks in advanced economies to end quantitative easing.

Jehangir Pocha on India's GDP growth:

India's growth is jobless becoz its not rooted in real econ activity but in stock & land inflation & privatising national natural resources.

8 February 2014 Jehangir Pocha ‏@JehangirPocha [^134.56] https://twitter.com/JehangirPocha/status/432357757539188737 His Twitter bio and stats on 21 February 2014: Editor-in-Chief at NewsX, fmr Editor of Businessworld & China correspondent for the Boston Globe. Will block those who use profanity & misquote. Location: New Delhi · newsx.com - 4,573 tweets. 225 following. 2,018 followers.

GDP growth since 2000 is 6.5%. Job growth is 2%. Billionaires' wealth has grown 60%. So its clear who growth is benefitting.

8 February 2014 Jehangir Pocha ‏@JehangirPocha [^134.57] https://twitter.com/JehangirPocha/status/432373260143955969 His Twitter bio and stats on 21 February 2014: Editor-in-Chief at NewsX, fmr Editor of Businessworld & China correspondent for the Boston Globe. Will block those who use profanity & misquote. Location: New Delhi · newsx.com - 4,573 tweets. 225 following. 2,018 followers.

GDP values numerical growth, not real benefit. It prefers shutting a city's water plant & making people buy bottled water.

8 February 2014 Jehangir Pocha ‏@JehangirPocha [^134.58] https://twitter.com/JehangirPocha/status/432371090791211008 His Twitter bio and stats on 21 February 2014: Editor-in-Chief at NewsX, fmr Editor of Businessworld & China correspondent for the Boston Globe. Will block those who use profanity & misquote. Location: New Delhi · newsx.com - 4,573 tweets. 225 following. 2,018 followers.

• • • • •

Haha this, of course, will cost you much more because you don't have any money. - purveyors of all things important to survival

10 September 2013Tess Barker ‏@TesstifyBarker [^134.59] https://twitter.com/TesstifyBarker/status/377445305354321920 Her Twitter bio: Stand up comic with good taste in bad ideas. tessbarker.com. 4,930 tweets. 460 following. 3,803 followers.

I haven't had a day this bad since the bank repossessed my Yugo.

**But, that was Saturday and this is now.** :(

7 May 2012 Cody Davis ‏ @_CodyDavis [^134.60] https://twitter.com/#!/_CodyDavis/status/199583262790787072 Twitter bio and stats on 28 September 2013: Unemployed mall Santa. Nacho enthusiast. NFL replacement referee. For pics of my sweet pup, check my Instagram. Location: Dee See. 6,417 tweets. 831 following. 882 followers.

I got a letter complimenting me on an outstanding invoice. Decent people still exist!

27 July 2010 Josh S ‏@jorshuwah [^134.61] https://twitter.com/jorshuwah/status/19652727285 His bio and stats on 28 March 2013: favstar.fm/users/jorshuwah – Location: Sydney, Australia. · jorshuwah.tumblr.com - 2,254 tweets. 996 following. 1,909 followers.

I really don't see what is "outstanding" about these outstanding bills

7 November 2012 Ella Fraser ‏@ella__fraser [^134.62] https://twitter.com/ella__fraser/status/266120376118026242 Her bio and stats on 20 March 2014: In the making IG: meghanellafraser http://favstar.fm/users/ella__fraser/most_favorited - Location: Sydney · http://favstar.fm/users/ella__fraser/recent - 31,713 tweets. 3,237 following. 15,217 followers. Two underscore marks appear in @ella__fraser.

I have got to stop crying every time I have to pay for something.

3 May 2012 Mae @mzeld [^134.63] https://twitter.com/#!/mzeld/status/198096295993409536 Her bio and stats on 12 November 2012: LET'S DO TWEETS OFF EACH OTHER'S BUTTS http://www.internet.com - 16,846 tweets. 698 following. 21,805 followers.

My wallet is like an onion. When I open it, I cry.

17 September 2013 Alan Garner ‏@AIanHangover [^134.64] https://twitter.com/AIanHangover/status/380158118232989696 Hi, I'm Alan. I was recently in a documentary of my adventures in SIN CITY! I like jonas brothers, but I hate godzilla, he destroys cities!! (Parody). 11,003 tweets. 53,946 following. 61,962 followers. The second letter in this parody account's @username is an uppercase i. The Hangover is the name of a movie.

I think I'm addicted to food and shelter.

4 February 2012 peckishly ‏@peckishly [^134.65] https://twitter.com/peckishly/status/166009253608427520 Bio and stats on 10 November 2012: In a parallel universe, someone else is wearing your pants. Purveyor of laughable tweets since April, 2011. Location: Over here! · http://favstar.fm/users/peckishly - 10,644 tweets. 1,105 following. 1,214 followers.

The best things in life are fucking expensive!

14 October 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^134.66] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/257468973879279616 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,223 tweets. 1,918 following. 1,773 followers.

"What do you want on your waffles?"

"Money"

3 September 2013 Little Bear ‏@boobsareimplied [^134.67] https://twitter.com/boobsareimplied/status/375008042456469504 Twitter bio and stats on 20 September 2013: Enthusiasm enthusiast. I don't wear pants and I wanna make bank, bro. favstar.fm/users/boobsareimplied - 4,962 tweets. 1,492 following. 2,143 followers.

I need a wine that pairs well with owing $6,000 in taxes.

23 February 2012 David Klein ‏@DavidKlein5 [^134.68] https://twitter.com/#!/DavidKlein5/status/172895879102078977 Twitter bio and stats on 23 August 2013: Nice fella. Champion. Likes tacos. Location: Southern California · favstar.fm/users/DavidKlein5 - 9,610 tweets. 617 following. 4,589 followers.

Just looked at my W-2. I work 30-35 hours a week and grossed 11,119 in 2011. This makes me want to cry.

19 January 2012 emzbulletproof ‏@emzbulletproof [^134.69] https://twitter.com/emzbulletproof/status/160121571342684160 Her Twitter bio and stats on 23 August 2013: rebellious, tawdry broad. Location: somewhere on a desert highway. 3,384 tweets. 254 following. 1,731 followers.

Form W-2 is a United States federal tax form prepared by employers and given to each employee annually. The form shows how much an employee was paid in a calendar year and how much was withheld for taxes.

I have just enough money in my bank account to cover the fee I'm going to get charged for not having enough money.

1 May 2012 Miss Fuckalicious ‏@PyrBliss [^134.70] https://twitter.com/#!/PyrBliss/status/197565617497313280 Her bio and stats on 7 November 2012: Swearing on Twitter is my anti-drug. Come for the cuteness, stay for the rage. I say FUCK! a lot. Location: In your pocket · http://favstar.fm/users/PyrBliss - 2,916 tweets. 838 following. 26,747 followers.

Is the bank really allowed to put LOL in the balance column?

17 April 2011 Lee ‏@silent_musings [^134.71] https://twitter.com/silent_musings/status/59783133054246912 Bio and stats on 6 March 2013: Queer Butch, Spoken Word Poet, Unusual Suspect with a minor in Thinking Guru- Sometimes I see dead people, sadly most of them are still alive. Location: Florida · http://favstar.fm/users/silent_musings - 25,037 tweets. 8,517 following. 18,184 followers.

Just found out I had $2.90 in my Paypal account.

Starting a transfer to my bank now.

Give me 3-4 business days & I'll be ready to party

19 July 2012 Bridger Winegar ‏@bridger_w [^134.72] https://twitter.com/bridger_w/status/226126504139055104 Bio and stats on 18 May 2013: Here we are on our third date. Location: N64 · http://favstar.fm/users/bridger_w - 4,927 tweets. 436 following. 33,202 followers.

At the time, it took three to four business days for money to be transferred from PayPal to a bank account in the United States.

No offense, pirates, but burying treasure is the dumbest possible use of treasure

14 March 2014 donni ‏@donni [^134.73] https://twitter.com/donni/status/443974626574475265 Bio: WHAT IS Donni Saphire? WHO ARE standup, open mics, sketches and scripts? WHY DOES Chicago, most nights, for you? OK! Location: Chicago city limits · favstar.fm/users/donni/recent - 12,406 tweets. 917 following. 35,926 followers.

my card got denied for a bagel today if you're wondering if i'm in control of my finances

23 January 2013 Sputnik Sweetheart ‏@Verlieren [^134.74] https://twitter.com/Verlieren/status/294193242688352256 Her bio and stats on 25 February 2013: Creator of Google, previously psychotic person. Not to make you fall in love with me but I probably don't have AIDS. http://tinyurl.com/verinstagram - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001856/ - 11,956 tweets. 499 following. 16,096 followers.

I'm not financially irresponsible; I'm just overdrawn that way.

22 September 2012 Laura Rucker ‏@laurarbx [^134.75] https://twitter.com/laurarbx/status/249536637569204225 Her Twitter bio and stats on 23 August 2013: Pimper of Cop: A Novel; Informations Systems Wizard; Old fox chasing young rabbits. Check out my comedy wonder twin http://dangersilver.com – Location: SoCal · tinyurl.com/3mrt66x. 19,916 tweets. 812 following. 591 followers.

"I'm not bad.. I'm just drawn that way," declares the character of Jessica Rabbit in the movie Who Framed Roger Rabbit, voiced by Kathleen Turner. Jessica Rabbit is one of the most famous sex symbols in animated movies.

Stale popcorn for dinner because that's all I deserve.

25 March 2013 Tricia ‏@Im_Tricia [^134.76] https://twitter.com/Im_Tricia/status/316402279404150784 Her bio and stats on 4 April 2013: Jazz hands for life. Follow me on Instagram & Vine: Im_Tricia. Location: Los Angeles · http://favstar.fm/users/Im_Tricia - 3,350 tweets. 655 following. 25,989 followers.

So, you're telling me my credit score should have three digits?

22 October 2012 Saint Gordon ‏@Lakeoconeebldr [^134.77] https://twitter.com/Lakeoconeebldr/status/260388670291447808 His bio and stats on 17 December 2013: Just having fun till my boat gets fixed. Inventor of Cheetos soda. Atari world champion. Location: Georgia · http://favstar.fm/users/Lakeoconeebldr/recent - 6,885 tweets. 553 following. 1,373 followers.

Cereal. It's what's for dinner...for a grown up that makes poor financial decisions.

13 July 2009 srslainey (Lain Brain) from Michigan on Favrd. URL lost. Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 23 August 2013, when the account was found to have been set to private: Lain Brain @_srslainey [^134.78] Keep your head up and your dress down. Location: Mich, again. · charitywater.org. 4,716 tweets. 129 following. 611 followers.

If my calculations are correct, then someone else did them for me.

3 January 2012 Niki @NikiWithIssues [^134.79] https://twitter.com/#!/NikiWithIssues/status/154344764437835777 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: I'm super lazy. Which is like normal lazy but I'm also wearing a cape. Location: The Shire · http://favstar.fm/users/NikiWithIssues - 6,027 tweets. 811 following. 35,838 followers.

"A Magic 8 Ball is not an accounting tool." ~ My boss.

9 November 2011 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^134.80] https://twitter.com/#!/Schmoodles/status/134260425331191808 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

Who needs friends when I have an unsuccessful business to run.

13 November 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^134.81] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/268579539830054912 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,223 tweets. 1,918 following. 1,773 followers.

If it ain't broke then it must manage money better than me.

26 December 2011 Shira @shiraselko [^134.82] https://twitter.com/#!/shiraselko/status/151316676405768194 Her Twitter bio and stats on 7 June 2013: Improviser. 5'1. Pittsburgh sports fan. Opprobrious. Contributor to WitStream. Location: Hoboken, NJ · http://witstream.com/#shira_selkovits - 8,204 tweets. 821 following. 9,188 followers.

If it ain't broke, marry it.

9 March 2011 Theodora Chester @beingtheo [^134.83] https://twitter.com/#!/beingtheo/status/45511513330561024 Her bio and stats on 8 December 2012: Lapsed writer, collecting distractions. 18,927 tweets. 1,630 following. 6,966 followers.

I am both breadwinner and breadloser.

18 August 2012 Andy Glib ‏@redherringbear [^134.84] https://twitter.com/redherringbear/status/237022718078377985 His bio and stats on 14 December 2012: Word salad spinner. I mangle syntax so you don't have to. 18+ please. Location: Oregon · http://favstar.fm/users/redherringbear/ - 8,747 tweets. 2,036 following. 2,383 followers.

*Turns on QVC*

"This is bullshit!"

5 mins later...

"DID THAT KNIFE JUST CUT THROUGH A BOOT?"

1 min later... "It's a Visa card, number 5...7..."

Sunday, 4 November 2012 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^134.85] https://twitter.com/Schmoodles/status/265174618720055296 Bio: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

I feel like I am trying to live a Twitter lifestyle on a Myspace budget.

27 December 2011 SlappNuttz @SlappNuttz [^134.86] https://twitter.com/#!/SlappNuttz/status/151870138197610496 Twitter bio and stats on 16 July 2013: RIP SlappNuttz -- Just making sure no asshat takes this username and uses it for good. 0 tweets. 0 following. 1 follower.

I'm like a millionaire without all the zeros.

21 November 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^134.87] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/271190965094608897 Her bio: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,413 tweets. 1,661 following. 1,766 followers.

**Double coupons.** # **thuglife**

26 August 2012 Tim Mathews ‏@timmathews [^134.88] https://twitter.com/timmathews/status/239903595938598913 Twitter bio and stats on 28 September 2013: Army JAG, ME native, former Infantry Officer, reasonably prudent person. Interests: Business, finance, NatSec, law in MENA/AfPak. Views are mine, not the Army's. Location: CONUS. 4,920 tweets. 391 following. 2,795 followers.

Let everyone at the store know I'm a man of wealth and taste by buying brand name noodles.

26 August 2012 Jamie Tighe ‏@TheJamieTighe - https://twitter.com/TheJamieTighe/status/239925036109144064 Twitter ID, bio and stats on 29 September 2013: Jamie Tighe @thejamietighe [^134.89] Your least favourite has returned. Oh look, words. 1,697 tweets. 383 following. 2,074 followers.

I'm so poor, I have to eat Bottom Ramen.

6 December 2011 Clarke Kant @clarkekant [^134.90] https://twitter.com/#!/clarkekant/status/144208492515958784 Bio and stats on 18 November 2012: I'm all for saving the world, just not necessarily the people. Now available on http://Witstream.com ! Location: America-ish · http://favstar.fm/users/clarkekant - 9,997 tweets. 776 following. 29,442 followers.

My dinner is something called Reduced from £3.75 to 99p.

20 February 2013 Kay Morgan @KayM77 [^134.91] https://twitter.com/KayM77/status/304337544789757953 Her bio and stats on 14 March 2013: I'm on Twitter. 18,872 tweets. 248 following. 1,615 followers.

Remember having money? Yeah, me neither.

18 August 2011 Vasculitis Vixen ‏@MistookMistake [^134.92] https://twitter.com/#!/MistookMistake/status/104368188447391744Her bio and stats on 7 March 2013: When I'm not busy losing 15lbs. so I can fit behind my fridge to get an M&M, I'm tweeting jokes, writing a book, & speaking about my cause: beating Vasculitis. Location: Dallas, Texas · favstar.fm/users/MistookMistake - 2,950 tweets. 2,216 following. 11,058 followers.

I'm on borrowed pizza

2 March 2013 GENKI SLUGGER ‏@ysengrim [^134.93] https://twitter.com/ysengrim/status/308100428107759616 Bio and stats on 11 March 2013: 野生のおっぱいオナホール ♡ · http://steamcommunity.com/id/noeliru - 113,018 tweets. 264 following. 796 followers.

Daylight is the only savings I have.

5 November 2011 Shira @shiraselko [^134.94] https://twitter.com/#!/shiraselko/status/132928091126374401 Her Twitter bio and stats on 7 June 2013: Improviser. 5'1. Pittsburgh sports fan. Opprobrious. Contributor to WitStream. Location: Hoboken, NJ · http://witstream.com/#shira_selkovits - 8,204 tweets. 821 following. 9,188 followers.

I'm on debt row.

23 April 12 Junkyardigan ‏ @junkyardigan [^134.95] https://twitter.com/#!/junkyardigan/status/194565578072137728 [^] His bio and stats on 13 November 2012: I'm just a guy. Not that guy. The other guy. Over there. In the back. Hi. 3,345 tweets. 1,719 following. 2,233 followers.

I'm going to retire and live off my savings.

What I'll do the second day, I have no idea.

13 April 2012 Tiffany Slaughter ‏@PissMiggy_ [^134.96] https://twitter.com/#!/PissMiggy_/status/190993059608150017 No Twitter account with this ID found on 29 September 2013.

I have enough money to last the rest of my life.

As long as I don't buy anything.

15 September 2011 CrankyPappy @CrankyPappy [^134.97] https://twitter.com/#!/CrankyPappy/status/114259985373995008 Twitter bio and stats on 17 July 2013: Broke, broken, broken-up, broken-down & broken-hearted. I need a break & a breakthrough. Aroma: whisky, pipe-tobacco & despair. There's hope, but not for us. Location: We're all here, alone together · favstar.fm/users/crankypappy - 20,796 tweets. 34,918 following. 36,394 followers.

**"Uh, some of us have jobs to go to in the morning!" is probably something people with jobs say** :(

25 July 2012 Tori ‏@TBCpierce - https://twitter.com/TBCpierce/status/228346627268698112 Her bio and stats on 20 August 2012: So the island was purgatory? Location: Texas. 134 tweets. 95 following. 148 followers. Island may refer to Gilligan's Island, an American TV sitcom that originally aired for three seasons on the CBS network from 26 September 1964 to 4 September 1967. Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 10 March 2013: Tori @toriTBC [^134.98] So the island was purgatory? favstar.fm/users/toriTBC - 360 tweets. 167 following. 1,516 followers.

The next several tweets by Jesse Colombo present the darkest economic outlook of any economic analyst quoted here. His interest in survivalism stems from his view that severe economic corrections are inevitable.

You need to psychologically and physically prepare for yourself for 15%, 20% or 30+% unemployment....

it's coming;

it's baked into the cake.

27 March 2013 Jesse Colombo ‏@TheBubbleBubble [^134.99] https://twitter.com/TheBubbleBubble/status/316981603463229440 His bio: Libertarian analyst warning of dangerous post-2009 economic bubbles. Recognized by the London Times for predicting the Financial Crisis on a mass scale in '04. Location: New York · http://www.TheBubbleBubble.com - 17,623 tweets. 31,200 following. 29,379 followers.

I look at every year that we don't have another crisis as a gift because it buys time to prepare. Still, this time should not be squandered.

2 April 2014 Jesse Colombo ‏@TheBubbleBubble [^134.100] https://twitter.com/TheBubbleBubble/status/451515260114325504 Bio and stats on 3 April 2014: Analyst warning of economic bubbles; Forbes columnist; Recognized by the London Times for predicting the Financial Crisis: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesse_Colombo - http://www.forbes.com/sites/jessecolombo/ - Location: New York - 44,043 tweets. 48,577 following. 58,932 followers.

Then Jesse Colombo tweeted:

If the ECB goes the QE route, then that will simply buy more time to prepare for those who took the "Red Pill." Don't squander this time.

3 April 2014 Jesse Colombo ‏@TheBubbleBubble [^134.101] https://twitter.com/TheBubbleBubble/status/451738004034711552 Bio: Analyst warning of economic bubbles; Forbes columnist; Recognized by the London Times for predicting the Financial Crisis: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesse_Colombo - http://www.forbes.com/sites/jessecolombo/ - Location: New York - 44,043 tweets. 48,577 following. 58,932 followers.

ECB = The European Central Bank, which administers monetary policy for the Eurozone and for its currency, the euro. ecb.europa.eu

QE = quantitative easing, whereby central banks buy financial assets from private banks and publicly listed corporations. In QE, a central bank typically buys long-term assets, thereby pushing down long-term interest rates and pumping money into the economy.

Make no mistake: being thoroughly prepared for what's ahead will take years and a huge investment. You don't slap that together in 3 months.

3 April 2014 Jesse Colombo ‏@TheBubbleBubble [^134.102] https://twitter.com/TheBubbleBubble/status/451738472462942208 Bio: Analyst warning of economic bubbles; Forbes columnist; Recognized by the London Times for predicting the Financial Crisis: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesse_Colombo - http://www.forbes.com/sites/jessecolombo/ - Location: New York - 44,043 tweets. 48,577 following. 58,932 followers.

A few bags of rice ain't going to cut it, my friends. This could be a decade+ depression. You need to be hard-core to survive w/dignity.

3 April 2014 Jesse Colombo ‏@TheBubbleBubble [^134.103] https://twitter.com/TheBubbleBubble/status/451739046608642048 Bio: Analyst warning of economic bubbles; Forbes columnist; Recognized by the London Times for predicting the Financial Crisis: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesse_Colombo - http://www.forbes.com/sites/jessecolombo/ - Location: New York - 44,043 tweets. 48,577 following. 58,932 followers.

I want a rural off-grid survival property, but I don't have one yet. Every central bank can-kicking buys me time to get that.

3 April 2014 Jesse Colombo ‏@TheBubbleBubble [^134.104] https://twitter.com/TheBubbleBubble/status/451740088398249985 Bio: Analyst warning of economic bubbles; Forbes columnist; Recognized by the London Times for predicting the Financial Crisis: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesse_Colombo - http://www.forbes.com/sites/jessecolombo/ - Location: New York - 44,043 tweets. 48,577 following. 58,932 followers.

This isn't about trading or timing the market to "play" bubbles. There are other tools for that. What I do is activism and survivalism.

3 April 2014 Jesse Colombo ‏@TheBubbleBubble [^134.105] https://twitter.com/TheBubbleBubble/status/451741006070054912 Bio: Analyst warning of economic bubbles; Forbes columnist; Recognized by the London Times for predicting the Financial Crisis: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesse_Colombo - http://www.forbes.com/sites/jessecolombo/ - Location: New York - 44,043 tweets. 48,577 following. 58,932 followers.

Individual survivalism is a brittle and ultimately temporary proposition. Throughout the ages, humans have found that teaming up in a gang, extended family, tribe, or community generally offers much better odds of survival than lone-wolf options, which can mark someone as a target for predation by other humans. Our social skills and ability to work together are more likely to determine our fate during long periods of chaos than go-it-alone strategies and stockpiles. This is not meant to discourage anyone from engaging in disaster preparedness on an individual level, as long as group and community capacity-building are not neglected.

In many situations, the capacity and responsiveness of state and local governments will become the most important variables determining individual and community survival prospects, once national efforts prove to be inadequate or ineffectual.

...because 90% of traders lose money, but 99% of people are going to suffer heavily in the next crisis. Trading is a poor survival plan.

3 April 2014 Jesse Colombo ‏@TheBubbleBubble [^134.106] https://twitter.com/TheBubbleBubble/status/451741299990093825 Bio: Analyst warning of economic bubbles; Forbes columnist; Recognized by the London Times for predicting the Financial Crisis: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesse_Colombo - http://www.forbes.com/sites/jessecolombo/ - Location: New York - 44,043 tweets. 48,577 following. 58,932 followers.

Trading = trading stocks, bonds, commodities, derivatives and other financial products.

And for the 10% of traders who do win, most won't even make enough profit to compensate them for the hell they'll experience in the crisis.

3 April 2014 Jesse Colombo ‏@TheBubbleBubble [^134.107] https://twitter.com/TheBubbleBubble/status/451741299990093825 Bio: Analyst warning of economic bubbles; Forbes columnist; Recognized by the London Times for predicting the Financial Crisis: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesse_Colombo - http://www.forbes.com/sites/jessecolombo/ - Location: New York - 44,043 tweets. 48,577 following. 58,932 followers.

My worldview has made me very frugal and cautious, and it's hard to live among people who are doing the exact opposite as me.

2 April 2014 Jesse Colombo ‏@TheBubbleBubble [^134.108] https://twitter.com/TheBubbleBubble/status/451519297081577472 Bio and stats on 3 April 2014: Analyst warning of economic bubbles; Forbes columnist; Recognized by the London Times for predicting the Financial Crisis: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesse_Colombo - http://www.forbes.com/sites/jessecolombo/ - Location: New York - 44,043 tweets. 48,577 following. 58,932 followers.

Reply:

@TheBubbleBubble **your post sums up the debt problem of too many living beyond their means to try to impress people who dont care about them**

2 April 2014 The Earnings Scout ‏@EarningsScout [^134.109] https://twitter.com/EarningsScout/status/451522886151315458 Bio and stats on 3 April 2014: Macroeconomic research and the premier provider of earnings trend analysis on the Street. EarningsScout.com - 1,633 tweets. 143 following. 239 followers.

Jesse Colombo continues:

Dating is a nightmare when you have to explain such a complex worldview and see if they are compatible with that type of plan.

2 April 2014 Jesse Colombo ‏@TheBubbleBubble [^134.110] https://twitter.com/TheBubbleBubble/status/451519825098326016 Bio and stats on 3 April 2014: Analyst warning of economic bubbles; Forbes columnist; Recognized by the London Times for predicting the Financial Crisis: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesse_Colombo - http://www.forbes.com/sites/jessecolombo/ - Location: New York - 44,043 tweets. 48,577 following. 58,932 followers.

Reply:

@TheBubbleBubble **take her camping..thats the true test of minimalism**

2 April 2014 Tillman 40 ‏@Tillman_40 [^134.111] https://twitter.com/Tillman_40/status/451520014970290176 Bio and stats on 3 April 2014: RIP Cpl. Pat Tillman. MMA/BJJ, FPS, MTB, Golf and NOT a Red/Blue Party Zombie. http://www.chrisvalentines.com/flash/tillman/index.html - 21,967 tweets. 289 following. 195 followers.

I have a very hard time associating with people who are "true believers" in this econ. paradigm b/c our values are so different.

2 April 2014 Jesse Colombo ‏@TheBubbleBubble [^134.112] https://twitter.com/TheBubbleBubble/status/451518680745406464 Bio and stats on 3 April 2014: Analyst warning of economic bubbles; Forbes columnist; Recognized by the London Times for predicting the Financial Crisis: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesse_Colombo - http://www.forbes.com/sites/jessecolombo/ - Location: New York - 44,043 tweets. 48,577 following. 58,932 followers.

b/c = because.

We now depart from Jesse Colombo to explore other perspectives.

• • • • •

As soon as you get a job, start putting some money away for a rainy day.

It rains a lot.

1 May 2012 Junkyardigan ‏@junkyardigan [^134.113] https://twitter.com/#!/junkyardigan/status/197364866212839426 His bio and stats on 13 November 2012: I'm just a guy. Not that guy. The other guy. Over there. In the back. Hi. 3,345 tweets. 1,719 following. 2,233 followers.

My class is not working.

31 July 2012 Andy Glib ‏@redherringbear [^134.114] https://twitter.com/redherringbear/status/230536557239603201 His bio and stats on 14 December 2012: Word salad spinner. I mangle syntax so you don't have to. 18+ please. Location: Oregon · http://favstar.fm/users/redherringbear/ - 8,747 tweets. 2,036 following. 2,383 followers.

Oh how awesome for me! Guy who lives in my apartment complex is panhandling in front of my office. Yay!

3 October 2011 Michael B Inlaoninni ‏@mikeinla09 [^134.115] https://twitter.com/mikeinla09/status/120962792806285312 His bio and stats on 16 November 2012: Equus africanus asinus. http://concerning-z.tumblr.com/ Location: Los Angeles · http://favstar.fm/users/mikeinla09/recent - 26,063 tweets. 2,096 following. 1,918 followers.

Poverty so much strips off your dignity ..

14 September 2012 Payal ‏@my_musings_ [^134.116] https://twitter.com/my_musings_/status/246540158701273089 Bio: Inquisitive, interested in films, books , poetry . Wanderlust . I exist as I am. 11,317 tweets. 393 following. 786 followers. Tweeted while travelling to Stuttgart.

A good third of my former high school classmates can't introduce themselves without a 5 minute apology about their lifestyle.

19 January 2014 Mal Harris ‏@BigMeanInternet [^134.117] https://twitter.com/BigMeanInternet/status/424995091795550208 Bio and stats on 21 January 2014: @newinquiry | ain't a real writer | RT'd by Justin 4/1/2013 | BieberFan420 on http://Chess.com – Location: Brooklyn · thenewinquiry.com – 30,589 tweets. 1,305 following. 4,875 followers.

The important thing is, I'm a juggler now, Mom

12 March 2014 donni ‏@donni [^134.118] https://twitter.com/donni/status/443657664388554753 Bio and stats on 14 March 2014: WHAT IS Donni Saphire? WHO ARE standup, open mics, sketches and scripts? WHY DOES Chicago, most nights, for you? OK! Location: Chicago city limits · favstar.fm/users/donni/recent - 12,406 tweets. 917 following. 35,926 followers.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Kids: Astronaut!

Teens: Rock star!

Young adults: Employed.

Adults: Warm.

23 November 2012 Artur Bagyants ‏@Bagyants [^134.119] https://twitter.com/Bagyants/status/272007023900626944 Bio: Some people grunt at the gym; I scream at the top of my lungs THEY KILLED MY FAMILY as I lift weights. Location: Kansas · http://favstar.fm/users/Bagyants - 486 tweets. 232 following. 6,086 followers.

A time will come when to run out money will mean to run out of life.

18 October 2011 SonaliRanade @sonaliranade [^134.120] https://twitter.com/#!/sonaliranade/status/126503330032783360 Her bio and stats on 17 November 2012: Trader. Location: Mumbai girl, cud B elsewhere. · http://sonaliranade.wordpress.com/ - 143,929 tweets. 435 following. 32,132 followers.

FAIL. Fidelity Survey: 55% of US workers won't have enough money to cover basic living expenses in retirement.

6 December 2013 John Robb ‏@johnrobb [^134.121] https://twitter.com/johnrobb/status/408992812563460096 Bio: Editor @ HomeFreeAmerica.us (reinventing the American Dream) Author. Editor. Serial Entrepreneur. Astronautical Engineer. Pilot. CXO. Tier 1 Special Ops. Location: Boston Area US · homefreeamerica.us - 6,503 tweets. 1,845 following. 5,304 followers.

My retirement plan is death.

8 October 2011 João Matthews @DoritosOverHoes - https://twitter.com/#!/DoritosOverHoes/status/122870998553993218 His Twitter ID, bio and stats on 29 September 2013: João Matthews @joaomatthews_ [^134.122] First name Portuguese; last name English. Whenever I meet white person with the same surname as mine, I can't help but wonder if their family used to own mine. Location: Windhoek, Namibia · joaomatthews.tumblr.com. 2,380 tweets. 70 following. 22,711 followers.

By my calculations I can retire 5 years after I die

19 September 2012 mwlredie ‏@cdncyn [^134.123] https://twitter.com/cdncyn/status/248592703024136193 Her bio and stats on 20 October 2012: Lead me not into temptation .... I can fucking find it myself thanks. Location: North of the 49th parallel http://favstar.fm/users/cdncyn - 3,582 tweets. 563 following. 639 followers.

Sext: My 401k gained $45 last quarter.

15 November 2012 michael ‏@pseudofauxme [^134.124] https://twitter.com/pseudofauxme/status/269231102567276544 His bio and stats on 17 November 2012: Currently serving a life sentence in a maximum insecurity prison. Based on a completely made-up story. Location: chicago. 10,407 tweets. 681 following. 1,506 followers.

Bad news for unemployed dudes:

The majority of you don't want to date them.

28 January 2014 Cosmo Out of Context ‏@NoContextCosmo [^134.125] https://twitter.com/NoContextCosmo/status/428356962464858112 No bio, only these stats: 151 tweets. 47 following. 34 followers.

*needs job to pay off student loans*

"Sorry, we ran a credit check and found you haven't been too good about paying back your loans."

20 December 2013 Charles Davis ‏@charliearchy [^134.126] https://twitter.com/charliearchy/status/414123469031215104 Bio and stats on 21 January 2014: A contributor to society. [charles (at) http://freecharlesdavis.com ] Location: Los Angeles, California · FreeCharlesDavis.com – 17,624 tweets, 261 following. 4,247 followers. Davis was a freelance writer seeking regular employment at the time.

**"Till death do us part." - Me to my student loan providers** :-(

19 July 2012 farleftcoast ‏@farleftcoast [^134.127] https://twitter.com/farleftcoast/status/226093063884402688 Bio and stats on 19 December 2012: Before I get my hair cut I whisper to the stylist: If you fuck up my hair I'll burn your salon down. I love @thedailymarker so much I put a ring on his finger. Location: The Dock of the Bay · http://favstar.fm/users/farleftcoast - 43,848 tweets. 840 following. 13,578 followers.

I don't want to die a loan.

18 October 2011 ruthakers @ruthakers [^134.128] https://twitter.com/#!/ruthakers/status/126520176576434176 Her bio and stats on 9 November 2012: I had kids. So you didn't have to. Location: iPhone: 36.624344,-87.432732 · http://www.witstream.com/#ruth_akers - 11,583 tweets. 521 following. 16,806 followers.

I'll die to get out of my debt I don't care.

4 September 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^134.129] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/375173294666055680 Her Twitter bio: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · pelsjas.wordpress.com. 20,078 tweets. 2,639 following. 2,801 followers.

owner of nothing but credit-card debt

20 January 2014 Cosmo Out of Context ‏@NoContextCosmo [^134.130] https://twitter.com/NoContextCosmo/status/425338345833517057 No bio on 28 January 2014, only these stats: 151 tweets. 47 following. 34 followers.

Animals don't know a thing about money. What a bunch of idiots.

21 February 2011 Clarke Kant @clarkekant [^134.131] https://twitter.com/#!/clarkekant/status/39947666779684864 Bio and stats on 18 November 2012: I'm all for saving the world, just not necessarily the people. Now available on http://Witstream.com ! Location: America-ish · http://favstar.fm/users/clarkekant - 9,997 tweets. 776 following. 29,442 followers.

Happiness can't buy you money.

14 May 2012 D ‏@heartlessX0 - https://twitter.com/heartlessX0/status/201947323557879808 Her screen name, ID, bio and stats on 29 January 2013: ddscrap @ddscrap [^134.132] Don't disturb me. I'm trying to become a better bum. Location: Searching... 1,071 tweets. 535 following. 3,035 followers.

Credit cards can't buy integrity.

30 December 2011 H0TMessBarbie @H0TMessBarbie [^134.133]

https://twitter.com/#!/H0TMessBarbie/status/152921634083307520 Her bio and stats on 18 March 2013: Feel lucky punk? Sweets you couldnt ignore me if you tried. SessionMusician, MartialArts, FeloniousTexter, VikingTamer, #starwars, @rovingvagabond's PrincessMonster. Location: The center of the universe · http://www.YouTube.com/LivingDedGrrl - 78,150 tweets. 2,063 following. 10,553 followers. One space added after each of the commas in her bio above.

How you treat people is much more impressive to me than the amount of money you make or the materialistic things you have

15 May 2012 Jenipher ‏@jehujeni [^134.134] https://twitter.com/jehujeni/status/202572289336811521 Her bio and stats on 20 December 2012: ✧Staring out the window ~ Daydreaming✧⋆ My tweets, like a bunch of Bouncy Balls All Over the Place. http://favstar.fm/users/jehujeni - 38,093 tweets. 1,601 following. 2,736 followers.

• • • • •

Start a shopping list and end up writing a manifesto.

12 February 2013 Killakillakilla ‏@DeathFixation [^134.135] https://twitter.com/DeathFixation/status/301501316616814592 Twitter bio and stats on 14 February 2013: The death of the party. 385 tweets. 112 following. 179 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 18 June 2013: Die - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytVww5r4Nk0 - 618 tweets. 126 following. 281 followers. The YouTube link points to a video clip titled: Skip James sings "Crow Jane."

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  135. Twenty Lessons from the Great Recession

By Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch 5 September 2012. Bio: UN Dispatch blogger working in Afghanistan. Location: Kabul. 3,103 tweets. 785 following. 1,046 followers. http://www.undispatch.com/author/una-moore

The title of this section is borrowed from the name of a Storified collection of Una Moore's tweets (without the replies) put together that day by Kelsey D Atherton ‏@AthertonKD [^135.1]. His Twitter bio and stats on 22 December 2012: These tweets are drones. // High volume feed, mostly #NatSec, #Warkids, #BlogTarkin. RTs are conversations, not endorsements. Favs are variable. Cheers! Location: DC, Duke City or Crescent City · http://kelseydatherton.wordpress.com - 34,737 tweets. 757 following, 1,144 followers. That curated version was posted on: http://storify.com/the_boy/twenty-lessons-from-the-great-recession \- On 5 February 2014 that Storify URL was no longer working, having shifted to: http://storify.com/athertonKD/twenty-lessons-from-the-great-recession

With no hope of following in our parents' footsteps, my generation has to redefine success, family, and what it means to be middle class.

5 September 2012 Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch [^135.2] https://twitter.com/UnaDispatch/status/243277474786590721 Bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Development professional & expat advice dispenser working in Afghanistan. My life is a long fever dream. My blogging is sporadic. http://kabulhelpdesk.tumblr.com/ - Location: Kabul and New Orleans. · unamoore.com - 4,742 tweets. 1,211 following. 1,888 followers.

Lessons that recession has taught me: 1) Being in debt is worse than being broke. Your debt will become your worldview.

#recessionlessons

5 September 2012 Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch [^135.3] https://twitter.com/UnaDispatch/status/243279259462942721 Bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Development professional & expat advice dispenser working in Afghanistan. My life is a long fever dream. My blogging is sporadic. http://kabulhelpdesk.tumblr.com/ - Location: Kabul and New Orleans. · unamoore.com - 4,742 tweets. 1,211 following. 1,888 followers.

2) Friends over career. Your career won't bring you your prescriptions when you're too sick to leave the house.

#recessionlessons

5 September 2012 Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch [^135.4] https://twitter.com/UnaDispatch/status/243279609095938048 Bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Development professional & expat advice dispenser working in Afghanistan. My life is a long fever dream. My blogging is sporadic. http://kabulhelpdesk.tumblr.com/ - Location: Kabul and New Orleans. · unamoore.com - 4,742 tweets. 1,211 following. 1,888 followers.

3) Nothing you say or do will make your parents understand what it's like to be young now. Best to reduce contact.

#recessionlessons

5 September 2012 Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch [^135.5] https://twitter.com/UnaDispatch/status/243279991729709056 Bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Development professional & expat advice dispenser working in Afghanistan. My life is a long fever dream. My blogging is sporadic. http://kabulhelpdesk.tumblr.com/ - Location: Kabul and New Orleans. · unamoore.com - 4,742 tweets. 1,211 following. 1,888 followers.

4) Don't put off that road trip with your best friend until you "start making good money." Go now, or you never will.

#recessionlessons

5 September 2012 Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch [^135.6] https://twitter.com/UnaDispatch/status/243280654714949633 Bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Development professional & expat advice dispenser working in Afghanistan. My life is a long fever dream. My blogging is sporadic. http://kabulhelpdesk.tumblr.com/ - Location: Kabul and New Orleans. · unamoore.com - 4,742 tweets. 1,211 following. 1,888 followers.

5) Accept your lack of privacy/personal space. Learn to deal with other people's quirks and grossness. You're gross too.

#recessionlessons

5 September 2012 Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch [^135.7] https://twitter.com/UnaDispatch/status/243281111860527104 Bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Development professional & expat advice dispenser working in Afghanistan. My life is a long fever dream. My blogging is sporadic. http://kabulhelpdesk.tumblr.com/ - Location: Kabul and New Orleans. · unamoore.com - 4,742 tweets. 1,211 following. 1,888 followers.

6) Befriend people with practical skills. Do u really want to face the Zombie Apocalypse w/ a bunch of social scientists?

#recessionlessons

5 September 2012 Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch [^135.8] https://twitter.com/UnaDispatch/status/243281644784586754 Bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Development professional & expat advice dispenser working in Afghanistan. My life is a long fever dream. My blogging is sporadic. http://kabulhelpdesk.tumblr.com/ - Location: Kabul and New Orleans. · unamoore.com - 4,742 tweets. 1,211 following. 1,888 followers.

Reply:

Or journalists!?

RT @UnaDispatch Befriend ppl w/practical skills. Do u rlly want 2face the Zombie Apocalypse w/a bunch of social scientists?

5 September 2012 Erin Cunningham ‏@erinmcunningham [^135.9] https://twitter.com/erinmcunningham/status/243287128858042368 Bio: @globalpost Senior Correspondent for the Middle East & North Africa. Based in Cairo, Egypt with dispatches from the region. Not endorsing, just (re)tweeting. Location: Cairo, Egypt. 14,274 tweets. 416 following. 10,702 followers. Erin Cunningham lived in Kabul before moving to Cairo.

Response:

@erinmcunningham **Journalists tend 2 *have* practical skills and freelancers are masters of bartering and hustling. They're ideal companions.**

5 September 2012 Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch [^135.10] https://twitter.com/UnaDispatch/status/243289076248219648 Bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Development professional & expat advice dispenser working in Afghanistan. My life is a long fever dream. My blogging is sporadic. http://kabulhelpdesk.tumblr.com/ - Location: Kabul and New Orleans. · unamoore.com - 4,742 tweets. 1,211 following. 1,888 followers.

7) Recognize that you were educated for a life you won't have and set reasonable goals for the life you will have.

#recessionlessons

5 September 2012 Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch [^135.11] https://twitter.com/UnaDispatch/status/243282652021551104 Bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Development professional & expat advice dispenser working in Afghanistan. My life is a long fever dream. My blogging is sporadic. http://kabulhelpdesk.tumblr.com/ - Location: Kabul and New Orleans. · unamoore.com - 4,742 tweets. 1,211 following. 1,888 followers.

8) Cultivate a skill or asset that you can barter with. The economy of the Millennial generation is a barter economy.

#recessionlessons

5 September 2012 Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch [^135.12] https://twitter.com/UnaDispatch/status/243283848992010240 Bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Development professional & expat advice dispenser working in Afghanistan. My life is a long fever dream. My blogging is sporadic. http://kabulhelpdesk.tumblr.com/ - Location: Kabul and New Orleans. · unamoore.com - 4,742 tweets. 1,211 following. 1,888 followers.

9) It's ok to be bitter. It's ok to be spitting angry. America is not suffering from an excess of youth rage.

#recessionlessons

5 September 2012 Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch [^135.13] https://twitter.com/UnaDispatch/status/243284392741584896 Bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Development professional & expat advice dispenser working in Afghanistan. My life is a long fever dream. My blogging is sporadic. http://kabulhelpdesk.tumblr.com/ - Location: Kabul and New Orleans. · unamoore.com - 4,742 tweets. 1,211 following. 1,888 followers.

10) Be generous with struggling friends, even if u are just getting by. Chances are, you'll be the 1 struggling next year.

#recessionlessons

5 September 2012 Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch [^135.14] https://twitter.com/UnaDispatch/status/243285131350138880 Bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Development professional & expat advice dispenser working in Afghanistan. My life is a long fever dream. My blogging is sporadic. http://kabulhelpdesk.tumblr.com/ - Location: Kabul and New Orleans. · unamoore.com - 4,742 tweets. 1,211 following. 1,888 followers.

11) Vote. Your generation is dying 4 that right on the streets of the Middle East. If your friends don't vote, shame them.

#recessionlessons

5 September 2012 Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch [^135.15] https://twitter.com/UnaDispatch/status/243286676292653056 Bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Development professional & expat advice dispenser working in Afghanistan. My life is a long fever dream. My blogging is sporadic. http://kabulhelpdesk.tumblr.com/ - Location: Kabul and New Orleans. · unamoore.com - 4,742 tweets. 1,211 following. 1,888 followers.

12) Don't judge your peers by their jobs unless they are working for collection agencies, in which case, judge harshly.

#recessionlessons

5 September 2012 Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch [^135.16] https://twitter.com/UnaDispatch/status/243288358967730178 Bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Development professional & expat advice dispenser working in Afghanistan. My life is a long fever dream. My blogging is sporadic. http://kabulhelpdesk.tumblr.com/ - Location: Kabul and New Orleans. · unamoore.com - 4,742 tweets. 1,211 following. 1,888 followers.

A little numbering mix-up occurs below, with tweets numbered here as they originally appeared.

12) Don't intern 4 free without a written guarantee of future employment. Your work is either worth something or it's not.

#recessionlessons

5 September 2012 Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch [^135.17] https://twitter.com/UnaDispatch/status/243290241522335744 Bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Development professional & expat advice dispenser working in Afghanistan. My life is a long fever dream. My blogging is sporadic. http://kabulhelpdesk.tumblr.com/ - Location: Kabul and New Orleans. · unamoore.com - 4,742 tweets. 1,211 following. 1,888 followers.

Reply:

@UnaDispatch **no one will grant that, sadly, not even the shops that actively campaign to get their interns paid jobs**

5 September 2012 joshuafoust ‏@joshuafoust [^135.18] https://twitter.com/joshuafoust/status/243291010225033216 Bio: Fellow at the American Security Project, columnist for PBS & elsewhere. Irascible. I don't represent anyone else's views. Location: Washington, DC. 83,342 tweets. 543 following. 7,800 followers.

Response:

@joshuafoust **That's wrong and should be changed. If an internship is paid, fine, but working 4 nothing in return has fucked our generation.**

5 September 2012 Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch [^135.19] https://twitter.com/UnaDispatch/status/243292678144532480 Bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Development professional & expat advice dispenser working in Afghanistan. My life is a long fever dream. My blogging is sporadic. http://kabulhelpdesk.tumblr.com/ - Location: Kabul and New Orleans. · unamoore.com - 4,742 tweets. 1,211 following. 1,888 followers.

13) Don't be afraid of what organizing might do to your future career prospects. You won't have any if you don't.

#recessionlessons

5 September 2012 Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch [^135.20] https://twitter.com/UnaDispatch/status/243290641809956865 Bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Development professional & expat advice dispenser working in Afghanistan. My life is a long fever dream. My blogging is sporadic. http://kabulhelpdesk.tumblr.com/ - Location: Kabul and New Orleans. · unamoore.com - 4,742 tweets. 1,211 following. 1,888 followers.

14) If you're employed and your employer proposes layoffs, offer 2 take a pay cut to prevent that. Solidarity matters.

#recessionlessons

5 September 2012 Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch [^135.21] https://twitter.com/UnaDispatch/status/243294957459353600 Bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Development professional & expat advice dispenser working in Afghanistan. My life is a long fever dream. My blogging is sporadic. http://kabulhelpdesk.tumblr.com/ - Location: Kabul and New Orleans. · unamoore.com - 4,742 tweets. 1,211 following. 1,888 followers.

The inclusion of this tweet, as with so much other material here, does not constitute endorsement.

15) You might have to be mercenary at times, but set lines you won't cross and never screw over others for personal gain.

#recessionlessons

5 September 2012 Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch [^135.22] https://twitter.com/UnaDispatch/status/243295494548365312 Bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Development professional & expat advice dispenser working in Afghanistan. My life is a long fever dream. My blogging is sporadic. http://kabulhelpdesk.tumblr.com/ - Location: Kabul and New Orleans. · unamoore.com - 4,742 tweets. 1,211 following. 1,888 followers.

16) If you have an unused couch and friends with nowhere to stay, ur doin it wrong.

#recessionlessons

5 September 2012 Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch [^135.23] https://twitter.com/UnaDispatch/status/243295930516914176 Bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Development professional & expat advice dispenser working in Afghanistan. My life is a long fever dream. My blogging is sporadic. http://kabulhelpdesk.tumblr.com/ - Location: Kabul and New Orleans. · unamoore.com - 4,742 tweets. 1,211 following. 1,888 followers.

17) Don't hoard information. Be generous with your knowledge and connections. Others will reciprocate.

#recessionlessons

5 September 2012 Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch [^135.24] https://twitter.com/UnaDispatch/status/243296603027410944 Bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Development professional & expat advice dispenser working in Afghanistan. My life is a long fever dream. My blogging is sporadic. http://kabulhelpdesk.tumblr.com/ - Location: Kabul and New Orleans. · unamoore.com - 4,742 tweets. 1,211 following. 1,888 followers.

18) Try to own only as many material possessions as you'd be allowed to check in two bags on a one-way flight.

#recessionlessons

5 September 2012 Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch [^135.25] https://twitter.com/UnaDispatch/status/243297017743421440 Bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Development professional & expat advice dispenser working in Afghanistan. My life is a long fever dream. My blogging is sporadic. http://kabulhelpdesk.tumblr.com/ - Location: Kabul and New Orleans. · unamoore.com - 4,742 tweets. 1,211 following. 1,888 followers.

Reply:

@UnaDispatch **A real challenge when you live in a place like Kabul - sub-zero winter, high 30C summer. And you're not a guy.**

5 September 2012 Catherine James ‏@cathjam [^135.26] https://twitter.com/cathjam/status/243346070355202049 Bio: Kabul, Afghanistan · http://tolonews.com - 533 tweets. 360 following. 246 followers.

Response:

@cathjam **Admittedly, I've built up my Kabul wardrobe with several two-bag runs to and from the US. There should be exceptions for us.**

5 September 2012 Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch [^135.27] https://twitter.com/UnaDispatch/status/243346502196531200 Bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Development professional & expat advice dispenser working in Afghanistan. My life is a long fever dream. My blogging is sporadic. http://kabulhelpdesk.tumblr.com/ - Location: Kabul and New Orleans. · unamoore.com - 4,742 tweets. 1,211 following. 1,888 followers.

19) Stockpile medical supplies & learn First Aid. You never know when some asshole might take away your healthcare access.

#recessionlessons

5 September 2012 Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch [^135.28] https://twitter.com/UnaDispatch/status/243297513547898880 Bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Development professional & expat advice dispenser working in Afghanistan. My life is a long fever dream. My blogging is sporadic. http://kabulhelpdesk.tumblr.com/ - Location: Kabul and New Orleans. · unamoore.com - 4,742 tweets. 1,211 following. 1,888 followers.

20) When Baby Boomers call your generation lazy, remind them that theirs is the most wasteful generation in history.

#recessionlessons

5 September 2012 Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch [^135.29] https://twitter.com/UnaDispatch/status/243298198469345280 Bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Development professional & expat advice dispenser working in Afghanistan. My life is a long fever dream. My blogging is sporadic. http://kabulhelpdesk.tumblr.com/ - Location: Kabul and New Orleans. · unamoore.com - 4,742 tweets. 1,211 following. 1,888 followers.

Reply:

Yup. RT @caidid: Worth reading: @UnaDispatch's #recessionlessons. I agree with more than not, and there are a lot of bits worth considering.

5 September 2012 Andrew Exum ‏@abumuqawama [^135.30] https://twitter.com/abumuqawama/status/243433402332741632 Bio: All views expressed here are mine, not those of my employer or my long-suffering friends and family. RTs & links ≠ endorsements. Location: Washington, D.C. · http://www.cnas.org/blogs/abumuqawama. 25,157 tweets. 421 following. 13,575 followers.

5 September 2012 Caitlin Fitz Gerald ‏@caidid [^135.31] https://twitter.com/caidid/status/243342127592009728 Bio: Writer. Artist. Job-seeker. Foreign policy, natsec, civ-mil, Middle East, women's issues, superheroes, Boston sports, Arsenal, grammar, space. Bad at sleeping. Location: Boston, MA. 18,876 tweets. 379 following. 1,410 followers.

Response:

@abumuqawama @caidid **Thanks for the RTs. I hope I didn't come across as preachy. I learned those lessons late, too late for the most part.**

5 September 2012 Una Moore ‏@UnaDispatch [^135.32] https://twitter.com/UnaDispatch/status/243566327288172544 Bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Development professional & expat advice dispenser working in Afghanistan. My life is a long fever dream. My blogging is sporadic. http://kabulhelpdesk.tumblr.com/ - Location: Kabul and New Orleans. · unamoore.com - 4,742 tweets. 1,211 following. 1,888 followers.

Reply:

@UnaDispatch @abumuqawama **I didn't find it preachy. I agreed w/ most of what you said, & think there was a lot there for people to think abt**

5 September 2012 Caitlin Fitz Gerald ‏@caidid [^135.33] https://twitter.com/caidid/status/243569629845393408 Bio: Writer. Artist. Job-seeker. Foreign policy, natsec, civ-mil, Middle East, women's issues, superheroes, Boston sports, Arsenal, grammar, space. Bad at sleeping. Location: Boston, MA. 18,876 tweets. 379 following. 1,410 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  136. Business communication

General strategies for business communication are reviewed first, followed by an examination of norms and practices.

Three years old today. This is the year I develop my language skills.

27 February 2013 Kevin Murphy ‏@DomainIncite [^136.1] https://twitter.com/DomainIncite/status/306704212753014786 Bio: Domain name industry news, analysis and opinion. London, UK · http://domainincite.com - 8,423 tweets. 835 following. 3,064 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 5 November 2013: Domain name industry news, analysis and opinion. Location: London, UK · domainincite.com - 10,388 tweets. 915 following. 4,452 followers.

Kevin Murphy was referring to his news website DomainIncite.com, which covers the domain-name industry and branding.

Listen to the first thing they say.

2 October 2010 rands @rands [^136.2] https://twitter.com/#!/rands/status/26223684220 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 8,540 tweets. 499 following. 27,448 followers.

Experts who can't articulately share their knowledge aren't experts in anything at all

# **justsaying**

19 September 2012 Stephen Coates ‏@SMCoates [^136.3] https://twitter.com/SMCoates/status/248308559270522880 Bio: Journalist. AFP bureau chief for Hong Kong and Macau. Views mine, not employer's. RT, faves etc don't imply endorsement. Fish. Coral. AFL. Location: Hong Kong. 2,016 tweets. 469 following. 374 followers.

A poor idea well written is more likely to be accepted than a good idea poorly written

20 June 2011 Laugh Riot @Laugh_Riot [^136.4] https://twitter.com/#!/Laugh_Riot/status/82734467130724352 Twitter bio and stats on 4 August 2013: Zindagi mein haste raho, jiyo, khush raho kyunki kya pata - kal aage ke do daant ho na ho!! Parody A/c, not Cyrus! ! Location: living on the edge! – Mumbai. 32,868 tweets. 123 following. 34,913 followers.

When people ask me if I understand, I always tell them that I do even when I don't. The last thing I want is for them to repeat themselves.

23 February 2011 designersays @designersays [^136.5] https://twitter.com/#!/designersays/status/40616075666259968 His bio and stats on 28 April 2013: When coworkers piss me off, I start sending them very serious work-related emails with a blank subject line. Don't fuck with me. Location: Sydney Australia · http://www.facebook.com/pages/Hieu-Nguyen/261238103906955 - 1,985 tweets. 458 following. 9,750 followers.

I request written confirmation of everything discussed so I don't have to listen during phone calls or meetings.

27 April 2011 Pax Paxochka ‏@Paxochka [^136.6] https://twitter.com/#!/Paxochka/status/63033131850141698 Her bio and stats on 24 October 2012: Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch'entrate. Location: Down Under · http://paxochka.tumblr.com/explainingfavstar - 57,522 tweets. 4,796 following. 18,932 followers.

Whoever said honesty is the best policy was lying.

Telling people what they want to hear is the best policy.

5 August 2011 Clarke Kant @clarkekant [^136.7] https://twitter.com/#!/clarkekant/status/99713758104010752 Bio and stats on 18 November 2012: I'm all for saving the world, just not necessarily the people. Now available on http://Witstream.com ! Location: America-ish · http://favstar.fm/users/clarkekant - 9,997 tweets. 776 following. 29,442 followers. Ironic tweet.

Can I trust you with a secret? Probably not but I want to be the focus of this conversation so I'll tell you anyways

24 February 2013 Matt ‏@MattElGato [^136.8] https://twitter.com/MattElGato/status/305739674280931328 His bio and stats on 27 February 2013: VS angel. Location: Boise · http://favstar.fm/users/MattElGato - 1,519 tweets. 302 following. 5,037 followers.

You can tell a lot about a person who tells you everything.

3 November 2010 Josh Donoghue @awryone [^136.9] https://twitter.com/#!/awryone/status/29587144524 On 30 September 2013 this tweet was found to have been deleted and the account was found to have experienced a change of control. Bio on 30 September 2013: Josh Donoghue @awryone - Ex-grifter. 87 tweets. 133 following. 208 followers.

Generally speaking I hate people who generalize

26 June 2012 foxy j ‏@idreamofmayo [^136.10] https://twitter.com/idreamofmayo/status/217770203210199040 Her bio and stats on 18 November 2012: kid at heart but not liver http://favstar.fm/users/idreamofmayo Location: (Hou/Bo) ston. 3,402 tweets. 231 following. 329 followers. No account with this ID found on 7 April 2013.

I need an angrier font.

28 May 2012 Doc Wolfbane ‏@WolfbaneMahler [^136.11] https://twitter.com/WolfbaneMahler/status/207187708878135296 No Twitter account with this ID found on 23 May 2013.

The top 100 surveyed were idiots..

31 July 2012 Teewee ‏@Wussawilla [^136.12] https://twitter.com/Wussawilla/status/230434145107587072

Her bio and stats on 2 November 2012: Sometimes while sleeping, I dream of being real.. Location: The Center · http://favstar.fm/users/Wussawilla - 24,711 tweets. 2,329 following. 7,374 followers.

• • • • •

Business-to-business communication has been transformed by new technologies faster than corresponding norms for acceptable behavior.

Scummy sales / marketing tactics might bring you short term benefit, but they'll hurt you in the long run

7 September 2012 Michele Neylon ‏@mneylon [^136.13] https://twitter.com/mneylon/status/244023000222023680 His bio: MD of @blacknight registrar / hosting. Co-host http://technology.ie Blog on http://michele.me/blog/ + http://fat.ie/ Location: Ireland · http://blacknight.com/ - 61,649 tweets. 3,603 following. 4,644 followers. His bio and stats on 5 February 2014: MD of @blacknight registrar / hosting. Co-host http://technology.ie Blog on http://michele.me/blog/ + http://fat.ie/ - Location: Ireland · michele.me/blog/ - 75,858 tweets. 4,528 following. 5,602 followers.

Michele Neylon has been a regular participant in ICANN meetings, where he advocated against that organization's approval of applications for proprietary top-level domains (TLDs) for generic words, which would short-circuit established trademark protections and restrict how language can be used.

'If you don't not wish to not receive any further communications, please don't untick the pre-ticked tick box that says 'Yes, I wouldn't.''

4 March 2014 cluedont ‏@cluedont [^136.14] https://twitter.com/cluedont/status/440802151158542336 Bio and stats on 14 March 2014: I once took the pee out of a pirate. He was furious! 11,052 tweets. 108 following. 40,697 followers.

@cluedont **"You may not change this setting at a later date."**

4 March 2014 Mevlar ‏@mevlaar [^136.15] https://twitter.com/mevlaar/status/440804116194144256 Bio and stats on 14 March 2014: Mwahahaha all your internets shall be mine! Location: UK · ootb-media.co.uk - 3,764 tweets. 154 following. 36 followers.

Forcing users to take the initiative to opt-out of receiving unwanted products and services is called reverse optioning and is ostensibly illegal in many areas.

Your aggressive social media effort is making me like your product less.

27 July 2012 braden graeber ‏@hipstermermaid [^136.16] https://twitter.com/hipstermermaid/status/229017753254785025 His bio and stats on 25 April 2013: Braden Graeber makes, writes and overthinks things. Location: Los Angeles · http://blog.bradengraeber.com - 4,552 tweets. 395 following. 142,036 followers.

For the love of God, turn off your pre-scheduled tweets, brands.

15 April 2013 Kirsten Stubbs ‏@kirstenstubbs [^136.17] https://twitter.com/kirstenstubbs/status/323885580649902080 Bio: I like people, music and words. Not necessarily in that order. Rainbow Jimmies and bearded men are my Kryptonite. Synesthete. @RocNation Digital. Location: Best Coast · http://about.me/kirstenstubbs - 13,284 tweets. 1,366 following. 2,398 followers.

Tweeted shortly after twin blasts occurred near the finish line of the Boston Marathon, when some companies' pre-scheduled promotional tweets continued to be posted, prompting a backlash against their brands.

Retweeting every single positive tweet about your company is really pathetic

2 September 2011 Michele Neylon @mneylon [^136.18] https://twitter.com/#!/mneylon/status/109547697131892736 His bio and stats on 5 February 2014: MD of @blacknight registrar / hosting. Co-host http://technology.ie Blog on http://michele.me/blog/ + http://fat.ie/ - Location: Ireland · michele.me/blog/ - 75,858 tweets. 4,528 following. 5,602 followers.

Michele Neylon is the managing director of the @blacknight hosting company & registrar, based in Ireland. He was referring to one of his English competitors. This tweet was retweeted by this author, a client of the English outfit, so that their social media person (following) would be more likely to see it, but they carried on.

There should be an 'unfollowed because of fucking self promotion all the fucking time' button/emoticon somewhere.

8 June 2014 hiranajam ‏@hiranajam [^136.19] https://twitter.com/hiranajam/status/475599079829823488 Her bio: shoes / music / internet junkie / Creative Editor for http://www.Carbonated.TV / part time philosopher & food blogger / I balance. Location: karachi - carbonated.tv - 48,789 tweets. 116 following. 2,806 followers.

*unbuttons suit coat* okay I am rdy 2 promote my brand and have fun online

28 March 2014 ben ‏@benicus_rex [^136.20] https://twitter.com/benicus_rex/status/449775743828910080 Bio: DAMN IT;S TRUE!!1 - http://favstar.fm/users/benicus_rex - 4,931 tweets. 273 following. 738 followers.

If at first you don't succeed, totally ruin your brand.

22 February 2014 Wile E. Quixote ‏@ScottLinnen [^136.21] https://twitter.com/ScottLinnen/status/437379501262401536 Bio: Hamburger Helper. Because a severed hand told me to™. 12,242 tweets. 2,894 following. 13,785 followers.

I'm under the belief that Oracle doesn't care about PR.

To them the "public" is generally a bunch of people who can't afford their products.

8 February 2011 Craig Andrews (candrews) on Identi.ca [^136.22] https://identi.ca/notice/63993174

Of the 500 leaders of the biggest companies in the US, only 28 have a Twitter account

http://qz.com/112891

7 August 2013 Quartz ‏@qz [^136.23] https://twitter.com/qz/status/365336569080586241 Twitter bio and stats on 8 August 2013: Quartz is a new kind of global business news outlet. Sign up for the Quartz Daily Brief: http://bit.ly/quartzbrief - Location: The World · qz.com. 9,824 tweets. 50 following. 44,843 followers.

Of those 28, only 19 were found to be actively using their Twitter accounts.

Points to:

" **Anti-social - 68% of CEOs still aren't on any social networks whatsoever,** "

by Roberto A. Ferdman, Quartz, 7 August 2013. http://qz.com/112891/68-of-ceos-still-arent-on-any-social-networks-whatsoever/

Twitter bio and stats on 8 August 2013 for Roberto Ferdman @robferdman [^136.24] Staff reporter for @qz w/ eye on LatAm; former Food Network/Cooking Channel online multimedia editor; news, ideas and high fives to rferdman (at) qz (dot) com. Location: Brooklyn, NY. 319 tweets. 382 following. 182 followers.

Twitter bio and stats on 8 August 2013 for Quartz ‏@qz [^136.25] Quartz is a new kind of global business news outlet. Sign up for the Quartz Daily Brief: http://bit.ly/quartzbrief - Location: The World · qz.com. 9,824 tweets. 50 following. 44,843 followers.

Reply:

@qz @robferdman **out of those that are, how many update their own accounts?**

8 August 2013 Guy Armitage ‏@guyarmitage [^136.26] https://twitter.com/guyarmitage/status/365352059354099713 Twitter bio: Founder of @zealous_co, entrepreneur with a passion for all things creative http://www.forbes.com/sites/jenniferhicks/2013/05/09/zealous-plans-to-save-the-economy-with-creativity/.... Short film writer, director and stills photographer. Location: London · zealous.co - 4,649 tweets. 230 following. 414 followers.

• • • • •

Marketing is 1000x more fun if you actually use/enjoy/believe in the product or service you're marketing

18 October 2013 Cameron Schaefer ‏@cjschaefer [^136.27] https://twitter.com/cjschaefer/status/391407674824212481 Bio: Marketing @vinylmeplease // Co-founder @vinylcocktails // strategy, startups, OODA, music, building communities, gardening. Las Vegas, NV · pairings.vinylandcocktails.com - 8,171 tweets. 557 following. 884 followers.

**Pro-Tip: make sure your brand advocates don't look like morons / blind fanbois when they advocate for you. Be real & really good**.

#cxotalk

24 May 2013 Seth Cargiuolo ‏@carge77 [^136.28] https://twitter.com/carge77/status/338030159150084096 His Twitter bio and stats on 1 June 2013: By night, Deep Thinker & Writer-In-Chief @ http://www.carge77.com . By day, CKO & Digital Strategy Guy at The Saint Consulting Group. All content my own. Location: Arlington, MA · carge77.com - 5,470 tweets. 1,935 following. 2,017 followers.

Want more customers & to build advocates?

When you go fishing, you drop chum.

You need to "feed" your base.

don't just take, give.

#cxotalk

24 May 2013 Seth Cargiuolo ‏@carge77 [^136.29] https://twitter.com/carge77/status/338029344192598017 His Twitter bio and stats on 1 June 2013: By night, Deep Thinker & Writer-In-Chief @ http://www.carge77.com . By day, CKO & Digital Strategy Guy at The Saint Consulting Group. All content my own. Location: Arlington, MA · carge77.com - 5,470 tweets. 1,935 following. 2,017 followers.

Chum refers here to bait (food that fish will eat) that is dumped into the water to attract fish. Chum can consist of scraps from fish processing. In other contexts, chum is also a type of large Pacific salmon.

What do you want to achieve from your Social Media engagements?

6 February 2013 Angsuman Chakraborty‏@angsuman [^136.30] https://twitter.com/angsuman/status/299090226125611008 His bio: Entrepreneur & Software Architect, Social CRM Consultant. Products: Relaso Social CRM, Relaso Customer Support, Relaso Defect Tracking SaaS. Location: Kolkata, India · http://relaso.com - 29,781 tweets. 3,444 following. 3,685 followers. Underlining added.

Businesses should look at social media primarily as an opportunity to provide customer support, says Angsuman Chakraborty above.

Here is a Twitter biography that invites engagement:

Seattle Art Museum @iheartSAM [^136.31] Twitter bio and stats on 13 March 2014: Seattle Art Museum, Seattle Asian Art Museum & SAM's Olympic Sculpture Park. Tweet us your questions! Location: 1300 First Avenue · seattleartmuseum.org – 10,786 tweets. 1,203 following. 50,660 followers. Underlining added.

Not everyone is enthusiastic about hearing from customers.

Lufthansa won't deal with customer service issues via social media but instead suggests you mail.

Not email.

Mail.

pic.twitter.com/c7yHvwZ4w7

1 August 2013 Jonathan L. Yarmis ‏@jyarmis [^136.32] https://twitter.com/jyarmis/status/363056610802802689 His Twitter bio: Industry analyst (aka Doctor Disruptive): disruptive technologies: social, mobile, cloud & big data (and more). Retweet conveys amusement, not endorsement. DoctorDisruptive.com. 26,130 tweets. 5,443 following. 5,665 followers.

The link points to a screen-capture of Lufthansa USA's Facebook page, as displayed on a mobile device. "Individual customer service issues will not be answered on Facebook. Please Contact Lufthansa Customer Feedback P.O. Box 425 Eas..."

I actually dislike using Twitter for consumer complaints (wd rather talk music here) but it's currently the most effective platform I know.

10 May 2013 Swarna Rajagopalan ‏@swarraj [^136.33] https://twitter.com/swarraj/status/333086829182083072 Her bio: Political scientist by training, writer, analyst, freelance researcher, highly educated factotum, sometimes teacher, building a thinktank called Prajnya. Location: India · http://www.swarnar.com \- 27,865 tweets. 761 following. 2,580 followers. wd = would. The reference to 'talk music' refers to Swarna Rajagopalan sharing links to classical Indian music.

Instead of providing customer support, some people use social media for spammy marketing efforts and social-media-search optimization. Social-media optimization shares some characteristics with search-engine-optimization (SEO), which is occasionally known for disreputable tactics. Specialists in those fields can be hired to push up a company's position in search results. SEO generally targets search results on the Web, whereas social-media-optimization targets search results on specific platforms. On Twitter, this can boost the placement of a client's account profile and posted content in Twitter's search results for selected keywords.

The next tweet spoofs SEO and social media optimization by using keywords that might be used by a new client seeking to hire a consultant in those fields. Although the following tweet's author is one such consultant, the tweet is meant to be a humorous jab at the business of SEO.

SEO copywriting, SEO and writing copy, writing SEO copywriting, copywriting for SEO, best practice SEO copywriting, SEO company, write SEO.

7 February 2013 Kerry Beetge ‏@KerryBeetge [^136.34] https://twitter.com/KerryBeetge/status/299491752933482497 Her bio: Kerry, Kerry quite contrary, how does your garden grow? With lights that dance and bugs that prance and ink that marks the snow. #copywriter Location: Cape Town, South Africa · http://www.kerrycontrary.com - 7,367 tweets. 982 following. 933 followers.

• • • • •

Let's all relax with the branding.

18 March 2013 Natasha Leggero ‏@natashaleggero [^136.35] https://twitter.com/natashaleggero/status/313578432506253313 Her bio: Gentlewoman. Watch Burning Love on E! http://eonli.ne/XLWEhi TOUR DATES: http://natashatourdates.tumblr.com/ - Location: Los Angeles · http://vimeo.com/29586301 - 1,725 tweets. 515 following. 171,657 followers.

• • • • •

Why is business communication important?

Loose lips sink ships, but miscommunication can drown an entire fleet

18 October 2012 Chris ‏@KindOfASmartass [^136.36] https://twitter.com/KindOfASmartass/status/258920606555320321 His bio and stats on 20 October 2012: Seriously, don't take me seriously. Location: Milwaukee, WI. http://favstar.fm/users/KindOfASmartass/recent - 8,940 tweets. 1,345 following. 6,396 followers.

Boss created 5 new acronyms today, so he's feeling pretty good. I can't wait until tomorrow when he can't remember what 3 of them stand for.

14 August 2012 Meeting Boy ‏@MeetingBoy [^136.37] https://twitter.com/MeetingBoy/status/235416893564018688 Twitter bio and stats on 8 August 2013: I hate my job. Location: across the conference table · meetingboy.com/posts - 6,123 tweets. 86,778 following. 148,037 followers.

If you run an ADO (acronym driven organization) you need an IALS (internal acronym lookup site) so you can OBNHs (on-board new hires).

25 February 2014 Matt Stancliff ‏@mattsta [^136.38] https://twitter.com/mattsta/status/438454592096186370 Bio and stats on 26 February 2014: A full time homosexual extremist and part time computational neuroscientist. Available for parties and corporate events. Location: New York, NY 11109 · matt.io - 7,410 tweets. 72 following. 322 followers.

United States Of Jargons.

27 February 2013 Sana Saleem ‏@sanasaleem [^136.39] https://twitter.com/sanasaleem/status/306703704264957952 Her bio: Director @bolobhi, Co-founder @desistore, blogger for global voices, http://dawn.com ,the guardian. Location: beside a book · http://sanasaleem.com - 47,597 tweets. 1,976 following. 13,970 followers.

I love getting translated press releases. Such innovative use of the English language.

19 September 2012 Kevin Murphy ‏@DomainIncite [^136.40] https://twitter.com/DomainIncite/status/248332183943647232 Bio: Domain name industry news, analysis and opinion. Location: London, UK · http://domainincite.com - 7,230 tweets. 781 following. 2,508 followers.

NetMundial press conference just started. We're going to be discussing the "multitaskholder" process.

15 April 2014 Kevin Murphy ‏@DomainIncite [^136.41] https://twitter.com/DomainIncite/status/456079557737852928 Bio and stats on 17 April 2014: Domain name industry news, analysis and opinion. Location: London, UK · domainincite.com. 12,095 tweets. 972 following. 5,665 followers.

NetMundial refers to the Global Multistakeholder Meeting on the Future of Internet Governance, held on 23 and 24 April 2014 in Sao Paulo, Brazil. www.netmundial.org. Twitter hashtag: #netmundial2014. In Brazil at the time, the most popular second language was German.

• • • • •

@David_C_Lange **A prob with mgmt language is that it's often just platitudes--w/o conversation, it undermines itself** (http://bit.ly/M8ixXw )

25 July 2012 TSchnoebelen ‏@TSchnoebelen [^136.42] https://twitter.com/TSchnoebelen/status/228074828727459840 Twitter bio and stats of @TSchnoebelen on 19 September 2012: Linguistics, UX and design, travel, San Francisco. Location: San Francisco, CA. 271 tweets. 71 following. 161 followers.

Tyler Schnoebelen @TSchnoebelen - Twitter bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Linguistics and language, UX and design, travel, San Francisco. Co-founder, senior data scientist @idibon. Need to talk to someone about emoticons or Shabo? Location: San Francisco, CA · stanford.edu/~tylers - 3,515 tweets. 575 following. 951 followers.

The link in Tyler Schnoebelen's tweet points to:

"How Language Shapes Your Organization," by Kevin Allen @kevin__allen ^136.43] HBR Blog Network of the Harvard Biz Review, 24 July 2012. [ http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2012/07/how_language_shapes_your_organization.html Kevin Allen's Twitter bio and stats on 19 September 2012: The Hidden Agenda bestselling author, former intnl adman/mad man & now CEO & founder of growth consultancy re:kap a KevinAllenPartners company. @rekapltd Location: London / New York · http://www.rekapltd.com - 598 tweets. 751 following. 1,169 followers.

Harvard Biz Review @HarvardBiz [^136.44] Twitter bio and stats on 3 February 2013: The latest Harvard Business Review blog posts, Management Tips of the Day, Daily Stats, and more. Location: Boston, MA · http://hbr.org - 12,725 tweets. 180 following. 945,103 followers.

prob = problem. mgmt = management. w/o = without.

Kevin Allen discusses how language that is used by managers creates _cultural permissions_ within organizations. These permissions define acceptable behavior. Allen's article received over eighty comments, four of which are quoted here:

Commment 1:

"The effectiveness of the spoken word hinges not so much on how people talk but on how they listen." R.Nichols and L.Stevens

Research shows that 80% of people are poor listeners! That is why power of the spoken word is so important.

Our language encompasses our beliefs and attitudes. It reveals our inner thoughts, ideas, and values.

Lyudmila Bloch @expertetiquette [^136.45] in a comment posted on Kevin Allen's article on 11 August 2012. Her Twitter bio and stats on 19 September 2012: Author, seminar leader, agent of change, expert in business, social, dining, multicultural etiquette. Coaching 101, seminars, e-books, resources, curricula. Location: Manhattan, New York City, USA. 11,207 tweets. 5,998 following. 6,423 followers.

Comment 2:

The culture of Silicon Valley needs to absorb this discussion. The habit here tends to the crude, the dismissive, to low regard for articulation.

A very well known VC known for a controlling, prescriptive style, was very clear in print and on a radio interview that he "doesn't hire English majors". This complete lack of regard for anything but engineering credentials is clearly - and to the benefit of tech and the business landscape, per se, - fast becoming a thing of the past.

LJH [^136.46] in a comment posted 27 July 2012 on Allen's article above. LJH's profile on Disqus: http://disqus.com/guest/81d94309c53e2b990e8d8b3e31a27b5a/

Comment 3:

i completely agree. as a designer, i've met many engineers/business people in silicon valley whose language set a really awful (negative, competitive, macho, immoral - take your pick) tone - but who were so ignorant of the power of language that they didn't know, much less care. it's frustrating. and if they only knew/realized that it might be a reason their company is having problems!

a. in a comment posted anonymously on 30 July 2012 to LJH above.

Another commenter remarked on the inappropriateness of using profanity on the job. The importance of leaders believing their own words was also stressed. Allen remarked on how in some countries, managers have a detached, hands-off approach to becoming involved in activities that they consider beneath them.

Comment 4:

My personal motto is "Change your words; improve your results." The words we use have not only different meanings but contain different values. These values are experienced based and usually are emotionally intertwined. Hence the importance of consistently demonstrating high emotional intelligence in all interactions both business and personal.

Leanne Hoagland-Smith @CoachLee [^136.47] comment posted to Allen's article above on 24 July 2012. Her Twitter bio and stats on 19 September 2012: Sales Coach, author of Be the Red Jacket, supports forward thinking mid-size to small business owners who are tired of status quo & want sustainable results. Location: Near Chicago, IL, · http://www.increase-sales-coach.com - 15,017 tweets. 5,565 following. 6,282 followers.

• • • • •

Jargon examples:

Using the word "innovative" hasn't been innovative for years.

30 January 2013 A Hundred Monkeys ‏@ahundredmonkeys [^136.48] https://twitter.com/ahundredmonkeys/status/296752107598540801 Twitter bio: A Hundred Monkeys is a Bay Area based naming and branding firm. We help companies get off the ground. Location: San Francisco · http://www.ahundredmonkeys.com - 2,029 tweets. 439 following. 804 followers.

As a general guide, anyone using the term "Digital" in their vision, company or product name understands neither technology nor the Internet

26 September 2013 Dean Bubley ‏@disruptivedean [^136.49] https://twitter.com/disruptivedean/status/383201510504824832 Twitter bio and stats on 27 September 2013: Mobile / wireless industry analyst, consultant & speaker. Founder of Disruptive Analysis & Disruptive Wireless blog. See also my paid Twitter channel @DApremium. Location: London, UK · disruptivewireless.blogspot.com. 13,809 tweets. 944 following. 5,584 followers.

I'll reach out to them and touch base so we can drill down before we circle back and get on the same page and punch ourselves in the throat.

6 July 2009 Sean Hussey @seanhussey [^136.50] https://twitter.com/seanhussey/status/2501381953 His Twitter bio and stats on 30 September 2013: For the period spanning 1999 through 2005, all of my hobbies required special pants. Location: Boston, The shadow o' the Pru · thememegeneration.tumblr.com. 5,196 tweets. 330 following. 2,304 followers.

My idea for military strategy: Leverage core competencies, get buy-in, satisfy asks with best practices, close the loop and gain traction.

19 September 2013 Dr Majorly PhD ‏@majorlyp [^136.51] https://twitter.com/majorlyp/status/380920905985032192 Bio: Erudite expert on strategic geostrategic strategy. Celebrated writer, self awarded award winner. Insightful. Interests: Current affairs and roasted cashews. goatdroppingsofwisdom.wordpress.com. 3,260 tweets. 374 following. 6,731 followers.

The Major employs communication buzzwords from the civilian-business world to show how ridiculous they appear in another context. He was writing in regard to proposed strategies for Pakistan's military to employ in combating armed extremist groups operating in that country. 'Asks' above refers vaguely to requirements. The word was assumed to be a relic of Anglo-Indian English, until it was found again in this tweet from the Western Cape:

Sorry boss but you've hit my ask limit.

9:35 a.m. Wednesday 26 February 2014 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^136.52] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/438578090164625408 Bio: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · pelsjas.wordpress.com – 21,681 tweets. 2,771 following. 3,065 followers.

The power of a conference, the intimacy of a call...that's when the magic happens.

27 February 2013 donni ‏@donni [^136.53] https://twitter.com/donni/status/306685383180177408 His bio and stats on 3 March 2013: Me? I'm Donni Saphire. Jokesayer. Sketchwriter. Buttdancer. Put me on your showcase. More at TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com ) Stealing babies will be caught. Location: Chicago but restless · favstar.fm/users/donni/recent - 9,989 tweets. 899 following. 28,063 followers. A parody of business communication.

• • • • •

Email has become the new snail mail, often reserved for formal communication and transmitting large documents.

You forgot the attachment.

6 July 2012 bllix, the tinier ‏@tinybllix - https://twitter.com/tinybllix/status/221488945597394944 Her bio and stats on 28 February 2013: Yes, I'm @bllix. No, I'm not a bot. Yes, I'm also @loudbllix. No, I'm not schizophrenic. Yes, I'm real. No, I'm not a dude. Yes, I'm single. No, I'm busy later. Location: Portland, OR. · http://www.twitter.com/bllix - 3,853 tweets. 199 following. 1,357 followers. The same author posts as @bllix [^136.54], @tinybllix, @loudbllix and @bllixodus.

I just write "Subject Line" in the subject line of emails anymore.

I've apparently lost my will to something or another.

12 December 2011 P.G.O.A.T. ‏@joevelouria - https://twitter.com/joevelouria/status/146296282703593472 His screen name, ID, bio and stats on 4 February 2013: Brosef Stalin @josephesque [^136.55] Clawhammering your heart strings, daily. Editor-in-Chief. Writerly. Madly inlove with @Sondeera. Location: Santa Ana, California · http://josephblair.wordpress.com - 19,202 tweets. 612 following. 1,545 followers.

Put the 1994 clip art down and step slowly away from your email signature.

15 September 2011 Joel Ingersoll ‏@FlyoverJoel [^136.56] https://twitter.com/flyoverjoel/status/114360153981202432 His bio and stats on 10 December 2012: I get up and I put on pants. Location: Saint Paul, MN · http://favstar.fm/users/FlyoverJoel/most_retweeted - 9,975 tweets. 540 following. 6,314 followers.

Why is everyone who sends me email named "do-not-reply@company.com"?

22 November 2011 Joe Schmitt @joeschmitt [^136.57] https://twitter.com/#!/joeschmitt/status/139109618315042816 His bio and stats on 22 March 2013: the second T is silent. Location: Chicago · http://joeschmitt.tumblr.com/post/143209840/joeschmitt - 11,550 tweets. 2,367 following. 7,306 followers.

I don't think so, business people with Hotmail accounts.

6 August 2011 sara @yzupp [^136.58] https://twitter.com/#!/yzupp/status/99963321486290944 Her bio and stats on 28 March 2013: Spent two hours coming up with this bio. It's the best work I've done all week. Location: definitely not here. 852 tweets. 661 following. 4,592 followers. Her most recent tweet on 28 March 2013 was dated 20 April 2012.

I judge people based on their email address.

30 August 2011 Lori @HeyitsLori [^136.59] https://twitter.com/#!/HeyitsLori/status/108579381525483520 Her Twitter bio and stats on 7 February 2013: Lip balm makes me happy. http://favstar.fm/users/HeyitsLori - 4,628 tweets. 447 following. 6,591 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 1 October 2013: Lip balm makes me happy. favstar.fm/users/HeyitsLori - 5,105 tweets. 469 following. 7,417 followers.

The problem with Email is that it has been over adopted, Email is not just used, it is abused.

#ibmconnect

29 January 2013 Yaacov Cohen @yaacovc [^136.60] https://twitter.com/yaacovc/status/296395640475353088 Bio and stats on 5 February 2013: Co-founder & Social CEO for harmon.ie, SharePoint User Experience Across Windows 8 and iPad, also trying to bring more harmony to the world. ttp://www.forbes.com/sites/rawnshah/2012/02/22/how-social-business-leaders-lead-the-role-of-a-ceo/ \- 1,562 tweets. 361 following. 400 followers.

I think I'm pretty good at email.

4 December 2012 bill naai ‏@ninja_drums [^136.61] https://twitter.com/ninja_drums/status/275955859870318592 His bio and stats on 5 December 2012: Fear is your only god. Location: hate city. 11,477 tweets. 256 following. 1,102 followers.

I get a lot of emails that say "urgent" I always want to respond "you use this word alot. I do not think it means what you think it means"

6 September 2012 Audrey ‏@ANOPRAX [^136.62] https://twitter.com/ANOPRAX/status/243816812217782272 In Seattle with 9,209 tweets. 66 following. 93 followers. No bio on 3 October 2013, only these stats: 10,637 tweets. 91 following. 123 followers.

There is no problem that can't be made worse by a passive-aggressive reply-all.

29 January 2013 Meeting Boy ‏@MeetingBoy [^136.63] https://twitter.com/MeetingBoy/status/296454023471579136 Twitter bio and stats on 8 August 2013: I hate my job. Location: across the conference table · meetingboy.com/posts - 6,123 tweets. 86,778 following. 148,037 followers.

I excel at sending hastily drafted emails full of vitriol.

28 August 19 December 2012 kdn ‏@kdn13 [^136.64] https://twitter.com/kdn13/status/240520143682281472 Her bio and stats on 21 December 2012: I have a weakness for split infinitives. Location: Bay Area, CA · instagram.com/kdnthirteen - 4,778 tweets. 258 following. 20,211 followers.

Email server is down, but instant messenger still works, so we can continue lying to each other without interruption.

26 October 2011 Meeting Boy ‏@MeetingBoy [^136.65] https://twitter.com/#!/MeetingBoy/status/129287737911160832 Twitter bio and stats on 8 August 2013: I hate my job. Location: across the conference table · meetingboy.com/posts - 6,123 tweets. 86,778 following. 148,037 followers.

I'm gonna ignore you like an I.T. guy.

17 January 2013 Jimmy B F D ‏@jimandrewsmusic [^136.66] https://twitter.com/jimandrewsmusic/status/292105065962016768 His bio and stats on 11 May 2014: I had something to do until I found this fucking place! YouTube http://bit.ly/ZshGFo - http://favstar.fm/users/jimandrewsmusic/recent - 27,597 tweets. 3,586 following. 4,519 followers.

Hey IT, fix our internet!

\- Please email in a work order.

\- Um, how do I email it?

I know, I'll just send it with my wizard owl, Archimedes.

31 August 2011 P.G.O.A.T. ‏@joevelouria - https://twitter.com/joevelouria/status/108955662129692672 His screen name, ID, bio and stats on 4 February 2013: Brosef Stalin @josephesque [^136.67] Clawhammering your heart strings, daily. Editor-in-Chief. Writerly. Madly inlove with @Sondeera. Location: Santa Ana, California · http://josephblair.wordpress.com - 19,202 tweets. 612 following. 1,545 followers.

"Didn't you get my carrier pigeon?"

14 June 2013 Fredrick Nietzsche @TinyNietzsche [^136.68] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/345646987028353025 Twitter bio and stats on 17 June 2013 for this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 13,921 tweets. 571 following. 22,555 followers.

Emails make me want to dress up in a Sumo Suit and ram into walls with extraordinary unrelenting force!

15 March 2013 Kirsty Ballard ‏@KBellSays [^136.69] https://twitter.com/KBellSays/status/312496592882110465 Her bio and stats on 18 March 2013: A wise woman once told me- Never trust anyone who has a 'stache, can't hold their liquor and never swears. So far, so good! *All opinions are my own | Ogilvian. Location: Johannesburg, South Africa · http://flashingformoney.wordpress.com/ - 10,359 tweets. 1,946 following. 932 followers.

Some day, when I'm awfully low, and the world is cold, I'll clean out my email.

Monday, 21 October 2013, Rameeza Nizami ‏@RameezaNizami [^136.70] https://twitter.com/RameezaNizami/status/392207223041978368 Bio: Unauthorized, unofficial, etc etc. This isn't even me, really. Location: In an office, most of the time · http://www.nation.com.pk/pakistan-news-newspaper-daily-english-online/Reporter/rameeza-nizami \- 6,451 tweets. 767 following. 8,454 followers.

1- Open email inbox

2- Select "All"

3- Click "Archive"

4- Enjoy your weekend

Friday 8 June 2012 Sultan Al Qassemi ‏@SultanAlQassemi [^136.71] https://twitter.com/SultanAlQassemi/status/211018871581310977 His bio: Sultan Sooud Al Qassemi is a commentator on Arab affairs. 119,136 followers. Bio and stats on 4 April 2014: Sultan Sooud Al Qassemi is a commentator on Arab affairs. Email sultanalqassemi@shortmail.me – Location: ÜT: 25.206282,55.281949 - http://journalisted.com/sultan-alqassemi - 73,765 tweets. 2,974 following. 279,539 followers.

I just set my email's auto-response to "I'm looking into this now. I'll let you know." I literally never have to respond to emails again.

27 February 2012 Lifey ‏@9to5Life [^136.72] https://twitter.com/#!/9to5Life/status/174250103522066432 Bio and stats on 30 October 2012: Just a college drop out, working the office life. Don't get all haughty though, I've seen you screw up your/you're like a dozen times. Location: Seattle · http://mommyblogger.com.gov.edu [those three domain extensions means it's not a real website] 1,994 tweets. 807 following. 11,617 followers.

I've set my out of office reply to this: @elsaPelsjas

23 December 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^136.73] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/282884881187495937 Her bio and stats on 1 February 2013: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 12,366 tweets. 1,884 following. 1,930 followers.

Just imagine: even after you die, the emails will continue to flood into your inbox. It will never ever ever end.

5 June 2012 Jeremiah Owyang ‏@jowyang [^136.74] https://twitter.com/jowyang/status/210167304883941376 His bio and stats on 18 November 2012: Industry Analyst, Partner at Altimeter Group. Some tweets publish on timer. How I use Twitter http://bit.ly/LK0i - Location: Silicon Valley, CA · http://web-strategist.com/blog - 36,460 tweets. 13,132 following. 115,905 followers. Bio and stats on 27 April 2015: Founder of http://CrowdCompanies.com @CrowdCompanies, and housemate to @goodboyrumba - Location: Silicon Valley, CA - web-strategist.com/blog - 57,709 tweets. 18,513 following. 161,010 followers.

Please stop subscribing people to your newsletters simply bc u emailed or spoke on the phone w/them. It's still spam.

1 November 2011 Allison Nazarian @AllisonNazarian [^136.75] https://twitter.com/#!/AllisonNazarian/status/131432560852082688 Almost 8k followers at the time. Her Twitter bio and stats on 4 October 2013: Copywriter / Ghostwriter For Hire +Penn & Columbia +Momx2 +Wrote LoveYourMess +INFJ +IIN +Paleo +Writing book on grandchildren of Holocaust survivors. Location: 561, Florida, USA · AllisonMediaGroup.com. 41,470 tweets. 1,004 following. 8,028 followers. bc u = because you.

ProTip: to stop seeing marketing emails filter by the word "unsubscribe"

7 January 2013 Chris Wysopal ‏@WeldPond [^136.76] https://twitter.com/WeldPond/status/288455684314525697 His bio and stats on 14 January 2013: Application security, former L0pht researcher, L0phtCrack and Netcat for Windows developer, Veracode CTO & co-founder. Location: Boston, MA · http://www.veracode.com/blog/ - 9,329 tweets. 434 following. 10,663 followers.

• • • • •

On paper mail:

You've got junk mail.

4 December 2010 Mae @HerMaeness - https://twitter.com/#!/HerMaeness/status/11126168707137536 She changed her ID to @mzeld [^136.77] and had this bio and stats on 12 November 2012: LET'S DO TWEETS OFF EACH OTHER'S BUTTS http://www.internet.com - 16,846 tweets. 698 following. 21,805 followers.

Million dollar idea: Replace your mailbox with a paper shredder.

27 November 2011 Señor Winces @senorwinces [^136.78] https://twitter.com/#!/senorwinces/status/140955331697192960 Twitter bio and stats on 8 June 2013: My life coach advised me to run out the clock. Location: Brooklyn, NY · tinyurl.com/kuhuut4 - 4,240 tweets. 2,077 following. 13,513 followers.

I had to buy stamps today, just like our ancestors, the Dinosaurs.

15 August 2012 Justine Nienaber ‏@punkystarfish [^136.79] https://twitter.com/punkystarfish/status/235706217522143232 Her stats on 9 October 2012: 12,380 tweets. 425 following. 878 followers. Her bio and stats on 28 November 2012: I tweet it up like Tweety bird | Social Media Gal @Talooma | Digital Guru in Training |Zimbabwean | Taller than you | Loves Pandas | Favourite time is 12:34. Location: I swam here from Zimbabwe · http://www.justinejoyit.co.za - 12,690 tweets. 507 following. 1,042 followers.

• • • • •

Facsimile technology became widespread in North American offices in 1986-1987, as prices for fax machines declined. Web-based email (independent of ISPs and outside their walled gardens) was not freely available until 1996 with the release of RocketMail (which became Yahoo mail) and Hotmail. Fax technology dominated non-voice inter-office communication for over a decade. During that time:

Fax machines changed the pattern and speed of work by enabling just-in-time delivery of documents.

Before faxes, documents had to be transported in physical form. Differences in overnight-courier-delivery times of as little as two hours could cost a lot more. Fax machines ushered in the _always-on_ business culture and its stresses. "Please confirm this fax," often meant: "I want you to work on this right now."

Faxes were the first instant, asynchronous (one-way) open-access communication channel since the telegraph. Whereas the telegraph required the knowledge of an underlying code, fax machines could be used by anyone with a telephone line. Fax numbers were a sign of status in the 1980s and early 1990s. Faxes were replaced by scanned documents and native-format files, sent as email attachments.

Dinosaurs would have hated email. "Why not just send a fax?" they'd say

24 October 2013 donni ‏@donni [^136.80] https://twitter.com/donni/status/393232207847759872 Bio: I'm Donni Saphire. I write jokes and perform them and write scripts and ignore them. Also see TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com ). Location: Chicago city limits · favstar.fm/users/donni/recent - 11,228 tweets. 907 following. 34,990 followers.

It's quaint when a company publishes a fax number on their website's contact page. It's like finding a Walkman at a flea market.

11 March 2011 Joel Ingersoll ‏@FlyoverJoel [^136.81] https://twitter.com/flyoverjoel/status/46282377365946368 His bio and stats on 10 December 2012: I get up and I put on pants. Location: Saint Paul, MN · http://favstar.fm/users/FlyoverJoel/most_retweeted - 9,975 tweets. 540 following. 6,314 followers.

Social norms developed around whether and how to use fax cover sheets. Norms also discouraged spam faxes, since recipients usually had to pay for their own fax paper. Common practices emerged on how to identify oneself in the header at the top of each page sent.

• • • • •

The social norms surrounding new technologies can be harder to grasp than the technologies themselves, as seen below. Nowhere has the lag between technological capabilities and a consensus on social norms become as exaggerated as with telephone calls. Although voice remains the ultimate and last-resort means of communication in many contexts, social norms have evolved to discourage voice communication in favor of more permission-based, asynchronous communication channels where participants control when, how, and by whom they can be reached.

Hey, sorry I missed your call. I just got caught up in this thing where it's 2011 and there are a dozen more efficient ways to communicate.

17 December 2011 Kasey Anderson @KaseyAnderson [^136.82] https://twitter.com/#!/KaseyAnderson/status/148229846705766400 Account found on 27 July 2013 to have experienced a change of control, with this Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats: Kasey Anderson @KaseyAnderson - im where ever da fun s throwing money around.... Location: philly. 12 tweets. 77 following. 18 followers.

The phone call is the new hand written letter.

9 November 2010 Gary Vaynerchuk @garyvee [^136.83] https://twitter.com/garyvee/status/2144723762421760 Twitter bio and stats on 15 January 2013: Family 1st! but after that, Businessman. Just a dude that Loves the Hustle, People & the @NYJets @vaynermedia .Tasted wine for years online! @winelibrary Location: NYC · garyvaynerchuk.com - 73,037 tweets. 12,195 following. 966,233 followers.

Gary Vaynerchuk's tweet was found in this article: "The Phone Call Is Dead" by Alexia Tsotsis, TechCrunch, 13 November 2010. http://techcrunch.com/2010/11/13/alexia-phone-home/

Twitter ID, bio and stats of Alexia Tsotsis @alexia [^136.84] on 15 January 2013: Co-Editor at TechCrunch. Breaks news, hearts. alexia@techcrunch.com – Location: iPhone: 34.008553,-118.489311 · http://www.alexiatsotsis.com - 21,712 tweets. 1,475 following. 63,284 followers.

Twitter ID, bio and stats of TechCrunch @TechCrunch [^136.85] on 15 January 2013: Breaking Technology News And Opinions From TechCrunch. Location: Silicon Valley · http://techcrunch.com - 52,393 tweets. 818 following. 2,549,933 followers.

Ways to contact strangers, from least to most creepy:

1) Twitter DM

2) Facebook Msg

3) Kik

4) Text Msg

5) Doorbell

6) Under bed ankle grab

11 June 2012 Kelkulus ‏@kelkulus [^136.86] https://twitter.com/kelkulus/status/212104738790055936 His bio and stats on 22 March 2013: I'm starting to regret dumping Adele. Visual nonsense on Instagram & Facebook. http://favstar.fm/users/kelkulus - Location: Washington DC via Toronto · http://www.facebook.com/kelkulus - 4,879 tweets. 1,244 following. 34,887 followers.

Remember busy signals? Crazy times.

7 October 2011 Bill Mc7 ‏@BillMc7 [^136.87] https://twitter.com/#!/BillMc7/status/122158365316096000 His bio and stats on 14 December 2012: Writer for Ladies' Home Journal and Penthouse Forum. Location: Los Angeles · http://favstar.fm/users/BillMc7 - 5,933 tweets. 1,238 following. 31,033 followers.

I don't mean to brag but I have call waiting.

26 October 2012 Classy Cassy ‏@Classy_Cassy89 [^136.88] https://twitter.com/Classy_Cassy89/status/262043449413480448 Her bio and stats on 28 October 2012: Life and times of a 40 year old single woman with a cat...got a dog too. 38,329 tweets. 8,185 following. 11,620 followers.

Unless you're on fire, don't call me from speaker. Ever.

12 March 2012 Sherry ‏@facciabella [^136.89] https://twitter.com/#!/facciabella/status/179392327897460736 Her bio and stats on 17 January 2013: Really good guesser, pop-up and picture book enthusiast. Music is my religion. Location: East Coast · http://favstar.fm/users/facciabella - 18,893 tweets. 1,421 following. 5,979 followers.

I'm old enough to remember the excitement of answering a phone without foreknowledge of who was calling.

20 March 2012 Frē Ballingsly ‏@Co_Man_Do - https://twitter.com/#!/Co_Man_Do/status/182175676441427968 His Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 4 October 2013: Hugh Morris @Mirth_Quake [^136.90] Arctic Wereunicorn, one of the rarest of my kind. // Aspiring meat head. // KiK: Mirth_Quake. Location: Alaska. 21,234 tweets. 1,067 following. 3,280 followers.

70% of the numbers in my phone are only there to warn me of whose calls I do not want to answer.

23 March 2011 Leslie Taylor @leslietaylor8 [^136.91] https://twitter.com/#!/leslietaylor8/status/50565265724932096 This account was found on 4 October 2013 to have experienced a change of control, with the first tweet from the new account holder dated 5 January 2012 and the most recent on 24 March 2012.

If the caller I.D. reads 'unavailable', then so am I.

22 June 2011 Heather Kay @lunchyprices [^136.92] https://twitter.com/#!/lunchyprices/status/83736498830188545 Twitter bio and stats on 4 October 2013: Not profound. tumblr.com/blog/lunchyprices - 4,621 tweets. 568 following. 15,048 followers.

I don't pick up blocked numbers. If you knock on my door & cover the peephole, you probably won't get an answer either.

14 September 2012 Kervin Ferreira ‏@kervinf [^136.93] https://twitter.com/kervinf/status/246660169801547779 His bio and stats on 5 November 2012: Graphic designer. Lover of all that is cool. Expert of awesome. Location: ENY, Brooklyn. · http://iamcreativ.com/ - 9,233 tweets. 1,245 following. 5,283 followers.

I think Caller ID needs to be more detailed. It should say things like "Wants help moving" or "Will whine about bad relationship."

28 February 2011 Prime Directive @YUCKYBOT [^136.94] https://twitter.com/#!/YUCKYBOT/status/42408666955120640 His bio and stats on 18 November 2012: McGriddle Enthusiast,Once Was Forced To Sit Through 'CATS' With Poopy Underwear. RESPECT THIS PINK TOWEL!*BEEP BOOP* Location: Norwich, CT · http://pinktowels.tumblr.com/ - 16,016 tweets. 675 following. 25,252 followers. His display photo showed him with a pink towel draped over his head.

They should rename voicemail to what it really is, evidence.

28 March 2012 the_moonface ‏ @the_moonface [^136.95] https://twitter.com/#!/the_moonface/status/185221187532636160 His bio and stats on 18 March 2013: There should be a cleverly written paragraph about how unique and special I am written here. Same username for kik and Instagram. Location: A small body in orbit. 2,281 tweets. 2,716 following. 12,926 followers.

As lazy and illiterate as people have become, most of us would still rather read a text than listen to a voicemail.

22 May 2012 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^136.96] https://twitter.com/#!/Schmoodles/status/204921388836978690 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

I got up the nerve to check my voice mail. I got a butt call, a hello from mom, and a message from work, from that day I forgot to go in.

21 July 2011 Nope @lulusgirl888 [^136.97] https://twitter.com/#!/lulusgirl888/status/94037469267374081 Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 4 October 2013: Gives a Hoot @lulusgirl888 - I am the 99% Peace #OWS. Location: your heart. 66,791 tweets. 1,848 following. 1,243 followers. Most recent tweet on 4 October 2013 was dated 6 February 2012.

Go ahead. Prove how much you fucking hate me. Leave me a voice mail.

22 November 2011 Shira @shiraselko [^136.98] https://twitter.com/#!/shiraselko/status/139168480141381633 Her Twitter bio and stats on 7 June 2013: Improviser. 5'1. Pittsburgh sports fan. Opprobrious. Contributor to WitStream. Location: Hoboken, NJ · http://witstream.com/#shira_selkovits - 8,204 tweets. 821 following. 9,188 followers.

"No one listens to voicemail" - outgoing voicemail message

22 April 2011 kelly oxford @kellyoxford [^136.99] https://twitter.com/#!/kellyoxford/status/61493530908045312 Her bio and stats on 15 January 2013: Writer. Designed to make you feel like everything is going well. I am your Perestroika. Location: Los Angeles · http://kellyoxford.tumblr.com/ - 3,608 tweets. 756 following. 435,829 followers.

I can confidently say it's been a good 2 years since I've listened to a voicemail before deleting it.

13 June 2011 tashy baby‏ @tashymarie [^136.100] https://twitter.com/#!/tashymarie/status/80300539803471872 No Twitter account with this ID found on 10 September 2013.

Leave a message after the beep, not a monologue.

7 January 2010 Tricia's Vagina @vagstar [^136.101] https://twitter.com/#!/vagstar/status/23648031966502912 Twitter bio and stats on 4 October 2013: Word to my Vag. Location: Hell, AZ · howtolickvagina.com. 5,724 tweets. 1,217 following. 6,174 followers. Most recent tweet on 4 October 2013 was dated 19 November 2012.

I haven't tweeted in a few days; I was listening to one of my mom's voicemail messages.

9 July 2011 Kristy Grant @kristygee [^136.102] https://twitter.com/#!/kristygee/status/89732250459054080 Her bio and stats on 13 March 2013: Writer for Anger Management. I'm shy! (giggles & runs behind curtain to hide; falls out window to death). Location: Los Angeles · http://vimeo.com/13219328 - 1,442 tweets. 373 following. 23,523 followers.

If I had the motivation to check my voicemails I would know who to stab for leaving me voicemails.

2 April 2012 Sarah ‏@GreenEyedJedi [^136.103] https://twitter.com/#!/GreenEyedJedi/status/186928565655318530 Bio and stats on 28 December 2012: Girl next door with a twist. Photographer, schadenfreude enthusiast, lascivious. Cheshire cat grin. Tardis hunter. instagram=gotsarah Location: North Shore, Ma · http://favstar.fm/users/GreenEyedJedi - 11,716 tweets. 2,651 following. 9,510 followers.

I have 5 ways to contact perfect strangers daily, but most of my family doesn't even have my cell number.

2 November 2011 Moiste Porque @MoistPork [^136.104] https://twitter.com/#!/MoistPork/status/131839023755960320 Her bio and stats on 24 October 2012: Take everything I say seriously. Please. Location: The Meat Locker · http://favstar.fm/users/moistpork - 5,555 tweets. 803 following. 13,211 followers.

If this is a booty call, press 1.

If this is a drunk friend with something dumb to say, press 2.

For all other calls, please hang up.

7 August 2011 Giselle @letsgetgizzy [^136.105] https://twitter.com/#!/letsgetgizzy/status/100116285253365760 Her Twitter bio and stats on 18 June 2013: GET IN THE VAN. Contributor to http://witstream.com . Location: Chicago. 6,929 tweets. 604 following. 13,236 followers.

Just changed my voicemail greeting to "Sorry, Twitter has destroyed my ability to hold actual conversations. Please text or e-mail instead."

30 April 2012 Sixth Form Poet‏ @sixthformpoet [^136.106] https://twitter.com/#!/sixthformpoet/status/196940113631125506 Bio and stats on 16 March 2013: Please buy my book, I owe people money. Location: Brighton · amzn.to/RAKKY9 - 5,856 tweets. 675 following. 77,490 followers.

Text your friends but leave voicemails for your enemies.

12 June 2012 Mary Charlene ‏@IamEnidColeslaw [^136.107] https://twitter.com/iamenidcoleslaw/status/212633763350446080 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: the Garbage Pail Kids version of Zooey Deschanel. Location: Chicago. 13,504 tweets. 4,054 following. 84,168 followers.

Sorry I'm not here right now.

Please leave a message after the tweet.

4 May 2012 Ruthe Phoenix ‏@RuthePhoenix [^136.108] https://twitter.com/#!/RuthePhoenix/status/198543857787486209 Twitter bio and stats on 20 June 2013: I like writing. I like film. I like art. I like music. I might even like you. Tweets are for a limited time only and subject to deletion without notice. Location: On a train near you. Ireland. 33,362 tweets. 950 following. 1,966 followers.

Sometimes I use a flip phone just to feel something. Anything.

10 March 2010 matt @biorhythmist [^136.109] http://twitter.com/biorhythmist/status/10309955870 His bio and stats on 15 March 2013: twitter user. Location: San Francisco · http://about.me/biorhythmist - 11,340 tweets. 583 following. 34,621 followers.

When the going gets tough, just call a few people and hang up as soon as they answer.

Shit feels AMAZING.

11 July 2012 bllix ‏@bllix [^136.110] https://twitter.com/bllix/status/222972625843007488 Her bio and stats on 30 October 2012: Electronic music producer/knob-twiddler, MYLF, Multilingual programmer, Attorney at LOL, Thug 4 Life, Laundromancer, METAL AS FVCK. Damn, Gina. Location: Portland, OR. · http://bllix.tumblr.com - 12,746 tweets. 501 following. 4,516 followers.

• • • • •

So how does calling people work?

...do you text before you call?

...what do you say when they pick up?

6 December 2012 Juan Two Three ‏@BBQJones28 [^136.111] https://twitter.com/BBQJones28/status/276867046405464066 Bio and stats on 9 September 2012: Awkwardly Original. Ask me about the special... Location: on a fingerboard. 31,407 tweets. 1,332 following. 6,172 followers. No Twitter account with this ID found on 4 October 2013.

I just looked at my cell phone bill and noticed that I haven't used it to audibly talk to anyone in 5 years.

30 June 2011 Bones @DumbNOTDeaf - https://twitter.com/#!/DumbNOTDeaf/status/86320199627841536 changed to Kyle @Kyle_Lippert [^136.112] on 28 September 2011. His screen name, ID, bio and stats on 6 January 2013: Kyle Lippert ‏@Kyle_Lippert I write things. I also eat most things. Witstream, Playgirl, America's Most Wanted. Location: NYC · twitter.com - 13,788 tweets. 762 following. 22,904 followers.

In 2006 the average phone call was 3.03 minutes.

But who talks on phone anymore?

In 2012 it's 1.78 minutes.

http://on.wsj.com/Kdko5K via @wsj

6 June 2012 midtowngirl ‏@_Midtowngirl [^136.113] https://twitter.com/_Midtowngirl/status/210558508091981824 - Stats: 24 following. 240 followers. Bio and stats on 16 March 2013: Investment Banking.100% Nerd. @Columbia alumni. Native NY'er (Born & Raised on the Upper West Side) with typical cynical outlook on life only true NYers have. Location: Midtown, Manhattan. 11,091 tweets. 179 following. 499 followers.

Those statistics are for wireless calls made in the United States.

The link above points to: "Talking Less, Paying More for Voice," by Greg Bensinger, The Wall Street Journal, 5 June 2012. http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304065704577426760861602618.html

Twitter bio and stats of Greg Bensinger @GregBensinger [^136.114] on 6 February 2013: Wall Street Journal e-commerce reporter. Location: San Francisco. 349 tweets. 193 following. 761 followers.

Bio and stats of The Wall Street Journal @WSJ [^136.115] on 5 February 2013: Breaking news and features from The Wall Street Journal. Tweets by @rubinafillion @fieldproducer @demetria_g @elanazak and @lheron. Location: New York, NY · http://wsj.com - 45,372 tweets. 506 following. 2,476,488 followers.

In studying data provided by AT&T on international telephone calls to and from New York City, and comparing that data with local and national calls for the same city, Saskia Sassen came to this conclusion about immigrant-rich American society in 2008:

Global talk [international calls] happens largely among those at the top of the economy and at its lower end. This point is one of the striking pieces of evidence coming out of the data analyzed here. The vast middle layers of our society are far less global; the middle talks mostly nationally and locally, albeit in highly variable geographies.

Source of quote above: "New York City's two global geographies of talk," by Saskia Sassen, in NYTE – new york talk exchange, sensable city lab, MIT Press, 2008, page 10. Biography that appeared at the end of Sassen's article: "Saskia Sassen is the Lynd Professor of Sociology and Member of the Committee on Global Thought at Columbia University. Her recent books are: Territory, Authority, Rights: From Medieval to Global Assemblages (Princeton University Press 2006) and A Sociology of Globalization (Norton 2007)."

Users clearly want realtime comms that works. Telephony isn't going to cut it much longer. But the Internet isn't up to the job. What gives?

18 September 2012 Martin Geddes ‏@martingeddes [^136.116] https://twitter.com/martingeddes/status/248260549211742208 His bio and stats on 16 April 2013: Telecoms strategy consultant with special interests in network performance engineering, polyservice networks, and hypervoice technology. Location: London · http://www.martingeddes.com/ - 9,982 tweets. 1,484 following. 2,197 followers. Martin Geddes tweets about the future of voice and communication.

Martin Geddes then asked what replacements for existing telephone systems could look like, other than merely shifting calls to the Internet.

Biggest threat to telcos' voice revenues isn't OTT or regulation: it's the stagnant or falling underlying demand for making calls

31 August 2012 Dean Bubley ‏@disruptivedean [^136.117] https://twitter.com/disruptivedean/status/241503236668923904 Bio: Mobile / wireless industry analyst & strategy consultant. Founder of Disruptive Analysis & Disruptive Wireless blog. See also my paid Twitter channel @dapremium. Location and statistics on 12 February 2013: London, UK · http://disruptivewireless.blogspot.com - 10,075 tweets. 831 following. 4,395 followers.

OTT means over-the-top content such as music and movies delivered without the Internet service provider (which for mobile devices can be a telephone network operator) involved in the control or distribution of the content. In delivering OTT content, the role of the telco is to serve as dumb pipes in a world where content is king.

Many mobile markets past peak telephony/SMS. Usage now falling. Not because of OTT alternatives. It's because telephony is a poor product

20 September 2013 Dean Bubley ‏@disruptivedean [^136.118] https://twitter.com/disruptivedean/status/381027260746055680 His Twitter bio and stats on 21 September 2013: Mobile / wireless industry analyst, consultant & speaker. Founder of Disruptive Analysis & Disruptive Wireless blog. See also my paid Twitter channel @DApremium. Location: London, UK · disruptivewireless.blogspot.com. 13,729 tweets. 942 following. 5,552 followers.

An example where telephony is a poor product is trying to arrange for a taxi, where a mobile application works better than a phone call.

Hah, what amazing coincidence! Just writing up about people complaining about phone calls, when I overhear exactly same conversation in café

3 February 2013 Dean Bubley ‏@disruptivedean [^136.119] https://twitter.com/disruptivedean/status/298043243860475904 Bio: Mobile / wireless industry analyst, consultant & speaker. Founder of Disruptive Analysis & Disruptive Wireless blog. See also my paid Twitter channel @DApremium. Location and statistics on 12 February 2013: London, UK · http://disruptivewireless.blogspot.com - 10,075 tweets. 831 following. 4,395 followers.

" **If someone calls me, I assume they have important info to impart, or need to know something from me urgently - not for general chat** "

3 February 2013 Dean Bubley ‏@disruptivedean [^136.120] https://twitter.com/disruptivedean/status/298043417953435649 Bio: Mobile / wireless industry analyst, consultant & speaker. Founder of Disruptive Analysis & Disruptive Wireless blog. See also my paid Twitter channel @DApremium. Location and statistics on 12 February 2013: London, UK · http://disruptivewireless.blogspot.com - 10,075 tweets. 831 following. 4,395 followers.

@BenedictEvans **That was overheard quote from someone next to me in Starbucks! Unprompted, 3 people talking about telephony being useless**

3 February 2013 Dean Bubley ‏@disruptivedean [^136.121] https://twitter.com/disruptivedean/status/298044465287929857 Bio: Mobile / wireless industry analyst, consultant & speaker. Founder of Disruptive Analysis & Disruptive Wireless blog. See also my paid Twitter channel @DApremium Location and statistics on 12 February 2013: London, UK · http://disruptivewireless.blogspot.com - 10,075 tweets. 831 following. 4,395 followers.

Voice conversations can be seen as how we manage the failure modes of symbolic text-centric business systems. Organic intelligence problems.

15 August 2012 Martin Geddes ‏@martingeddes [^136.122] https://twitter.com/martingeddes/status/235670003754602496 His bio and stats on 16 April 2013: Telecoms strategy consultant with special interests in network performance engineering, polyservice networks, and hypervoice technology. Location: London · http://www.martingeddes.com/ - 9,982 tweets. 1,484 following. 2,197 followers. Martin Geddes tweets about the future of voice and communication.

The phone is built upon the idea that if I want to talk to someone at a particular time, he has to stop whatever he's doing and pick up.

25 October 2012 Iyad El-Baghdadi ‏@iyad_elbaghdadi [^136.123] https://twitter.com/iyad_elbaghdadi/status/261399515251240960 His bio: I startup startups, coach social media, tweet revolutions, and make fun of tyrants. Islamic libertarian. My projects: #ArabTyrantManual, #ArabSpringManifesto. Location: Dubai, UAE · http://www.el-baghdadi.com/manifesto - 38,239 tweets. 1,220 following. 15,020 followers.

Seems amazing that after 130 years, it's still not possible to mark certain phone calls as "urgent", except for emergencies

27 September 2013 Dean Bubley ‏@disruptivedean [^136.124] https://twitter.com/disruptivedean/status/383509318454108160 Twitter bio: Mobile / wireless industry analyst, consultant & speaker. Founder of Disruptive Analysis & Disruptive Wireless blog. See also my paid Twitter channel @DApremium. Location: London, UK · disruptivewireless.blogspot.com. 13,809 tweets. 944 following. 5,584 followers.

The lack of free-busy indicators in conventional telephone systems makes it difficult to predict when someone might be available. Important calls are often pre-arranged through emails, texts and social media. For many people, unless an inbound call is expected, it is probably junk and can be ignored.

"Please set your phone to silent & refrain from talking on it"

\- announcement on Tokyo train

3 January 2014 Dean Bubley ‏@disruptivedean [^136.125] https://twitter.com/disruptivedean/status/419051780471668737 Bio: Telecom /Mobile industry analyst, consultant & public speaker. Contrarian, Visionary, Pragmatist. Founder of Disruptive Analysis & Disruptive Wireless blog. Location: London, UK · disruptivewireless.blogspot.com. 15,293 tweets. 1,001 following. 5,914 followers.

Why?

@ismangil No, **because calling is rude, both to the person you're calling if you interrupt them & those around you**

3 January 2014 Dean Bubley ‏@disruptivedean [^136.126] https://twitter.com/disruptivedean/status/419055029899632640 Bio: Telecom /Mobile industry analyst, consultant & public speaker. Contrarian, Visionary, Pragmatist. Founder of Disruptive Analysis & Disruptive Wireless blog. Location: London, UK · disruptivewireless.blogspot.com. 15,293 tweets. 1,001 following. 5,914 followers.

Then:

@ismangil Yes, certainly in some places.

And phone calls never sound like normal chatting. Yet another failure of obsolete 130yr old product

3 January 2014 Dean Bubley ‏@disruptivedean [^136.127] https://twitter.com/disruptivedean/status/419123615313838080 Bio: Telecom /Mobile industry analyst, consultant & public speaker. Contrarian, Visionary, Pragmatist. Founder of Disruptive Analysis & Disruptive Wireless blog. Location: London, UK · disruptivewireless.blogspot.com. 15,293 tweets. 1,001 following. 5,914 followers.

I cannot come to telegraph right now, but if you leave your dashes und dots after the stop end message, I will be forced to wire you back

23 October 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^136.128] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/393052044556132353 Twitter bio and stats on 30 December 2013 for this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 17,120 tweets. 729 following. 28,655 followers.

I'm locked into a contest to see who can avoid answering the phone the longest. Me or this pylon.

22 September 2011 Adrian Woodworth @navanax [^136.129] https://twitter.com/#!/navanax/status/116974598280577025 Bio and stats on 20 December 2012: I am not bitter, I am resentful. There is a difference. One may be resentful and still taste great. Location: The Big Smoke · http://favstar.fm/users/navanax/recent - 1,997 tweets. 3,527 following. 6,933 followers.

I'm always astounded by people who answer their phones with great enthusiasm.

They obviously are fearless or are very lonely.

3 May 2012 Linda ‏@piplips [^136.130] https://twitter.com/piplips/status/198304697667436544 Her bio and stats on 26 March 2013; Best friend is Pippa my Yorkie. Soulmate ditto. Companion ditto. Confidant ditto. Pippa likes people. I don't. Location: Johannesburg · http://favstar.fm/users/piplips/recent - 29,683 tweets. 4,903 following. 4,949 followers.

The emotional effort required to fully participate in a telephone call can be draining and a disincentive to participation.

You phoned me just to talk? What kind of horrible thing did I do to deserve this?

4 December 2011 ferg ‏@hobo_hands [^136.131] https://twitter.com/hobo_hands/status/143438184632688641 His bio and stats on 15 December 2012: champion thumb wrestler. Location: barter town · http://favstar.fm/users/hobo_hands/recent - 4,594 tweets. 625 following. 5,446 followers.

Participating in a telephone call can make some participants feel anxious. For them, telephone conversations are not particularly pleasant experiences.

I'd now rather pick up a scary looking hitchhiker than a ringing phone.

21 May 2012 ShoutingGoddess ‏@ShoutingGoddess [^136.132] https://twitter.com/ShoutingGoddess/status/204592489003364354 Her bio and stats on 5 November 2012: Don't read this shit. Go read a book. 101,615 tweets. 2,305 following. 16,629 followers.

I really don't care who the fuck you are, I am not answering my phone. Ever.

2 May 2012 Emily ‏@MissHobbitBitch [^136.133] https://twitter.com/misshobbitbitch/status/197721063512219648 Her screen name, bio and stats on 4 October 2013: Existentially Lost @MissHobbitBitch - Slowly becoming a social hermit, because fuck people. Fought a cat and lost. Probably ran out of wine again. http://favstar.fm/users/MissHobbitBitch - Location: A hobbit hole somewhere. 12,190 tweets. 695 following. 841 followers.

"Is it over yet? Are we done?" (What I'm thinking after the first 30 seconds of every phone call.)

28 October 2011 donni @donni [^136.134] https://twitter.com/#!/donni/status/29006825776 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Comedy sand wedge. Writer, performer, fledgling opener, packet submitter. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Sea cows probably never see cows. Location: Chicago City Of Wind · http://qr.net/donni - 9,640 tweets. 839 following. 25,773 followers.

If you call me by my name during a phone conversation I'm most likely done having that conversation. Also, if you put me on speaker.

14 July 2011 Sputnik Sweetheart @Verlieren [^136.135] https://twitter.com/#!/Verlieren/status/91759325739102209 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: Creator of Google, previously psychotic person. Not to make you fall in love with me but I probably don't have AIDS. http://tinyurl.com/verinstagram - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001856/ - 11,012 tweets. 548 following. 14,712 followers.

Fact: Speaker phones were invented to make untalented people sound important

27 September 2011 The Office Prick ‏@theofficeprick [^136.136] https://twitter.com/theofficeprick/status/118739128706805760 Twitter bio and stats on 26 October 2013: Documenting and chronicling the daily actions of The Office Prick. Yes, these are true. 112 tweets. 48 following. 61 followers. On 26 October 2013, this account's most recent tweet was dated 13 January 2012.

"My phone's about to die." -Me, 30 seconds into every phone call.

28 February 2012 EJ ‏@Cherry_Row - https://twitter.com/#!/Cherry_Row/status/174607585335451648 Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 4 October 2013: Cherry Row @Pink_Steel [^136.137] Poof! 111,571 tweets. 1,863 following. 4,281 followers. On 4 October 2013 this account's most recent tweet was dated 5 July 2013.

i wish all your phones would die.

22 October 2011 leesa @leesmf - https://twitter.com/#!/leesmf/status/127941161104060417 She started as leesa @omgitsleesa [^136.138], which was de-activated. Returned as lmf @leesmf. In September 2011 began tweeting from both accounts. Both accounts appear to have been de-activated in early April 2012.

If you want to know where you stand with someone, call them when their battery life is low and see if they answer.

14 June 2012 Jamie Capria ‏@MrFornicator [^136.139] https://twitter.com/mrfornicator/status/213355054919450626 His bio and stats on 25 January 2013: Comedian/Writer and founder of Comedians For Cancer. The average person laughs 15 times a day... that's not nearly enough. http://ComediansForCancer.com Location: Syracuse, New York · favstar.fm/users/MrFornicator - 4,342 tweets. 5,350 following. 51,213 followers.

When I don't like you, I don't even warn you that my battery is dying.

19 November 2011 Kervin Ferreira @kervinf [^136.140] https://twitter.com/#!/kervinf/status/138014087148871682 His bio and stats on 5 November 2012: Graphic designer. Lover of all that is cool. Expert of awesome. Location: ENY, Brooklyn. · http://iamcreativ.com/ - 9,233 tweets. 1,245 following. 5,283 followers.

Can I call you back? I am on the Internet right now.

17 January 2013 bllix, the tinier ‏@tinybllix - https://twitter.com/tinybllix/status/291985484119437312 Her bio and stats on 28 February 2013: Yes, I'm @bllix. No, I'm not a bot. Yes, I'm also @loudbllix. No, I'm not schizophrenic. Yes, I'm real. No, I'm not a dude. Yes, I'm single. No, I'm busy later. Location: Portland, OR. · http://www.twitter.com/bllix - 3,853 tweets. 199 following. 1,357 followers. The same author posts as @bllix [^136.141], @tinybllix, @loudbllix and @bllixodus.

If I say "can I call you back?" please don't wait by the phone.

11 July 2011 Tammy @tamytoo2 [^136.142] https://twitter.com/#!/tamytoo2/status/90614833216618496 Her Twitter bio and stats on 15 June 2013: Pondering the important things in life. Read on. Location: Nevada · favstar.fm/users/tamytoo2 - 20,667 tweets. 2,029 following. 11,046 followers.

I'd like to garner just enough fame so that people don't really expect me to ever return phone calls or emails.

28 August 2010 Shari Vanderwerf @shariv67 [^136.143] https://twitter.com/shariv67/status/22395775846 Her bio and stats on 27 October 2012: My work has appeared on Comedy Central, Cartoon Network, VH1, E!, film festivals and major publications. Comedian & Writer · http://www.sharivanderwerf.com - 11,392 tweets. 3,551 following. 24,593 followers.

"I will never listen to your message" - my voicemail greeting

19 July 2012 Steve ‏@FSUSteve [^136.144] https://twitter.com/fsusteve/status/226124122734866432 Bio and stats on 8 November 2012: My ride or die @mekaylasmoody Location: Florida · http://favstar.fm/users/FSUSteve - 57,242 tweets. 3,537 following. 12,316 followers.

@FSUSteve **mine actually says that**

19 July 2012 Kelly Pentland ‏@MmeSurly [^136.145] https://twitter.com/MmeSurly/status/226125110493458432

Bio: Food aggressive. 29,709 tweets. 447 following. 10,393 followers. Her bio and stats on 25 December 2013: pain is french for bread. mmesurly.tumblr.com. 13,796 tweets. 796 following. 18,546 followers.

465,895,754 Unread Messages, Press 1 To Play

27 March 2013 Mr. Silence ‏@teamsilence32 [^136.146] https://twitter.com/teamsilence32/status/316878973890076672 His bio and stats on 29 March 2013: ○┼ŦEλM▽$łŁE₦₡E┼○ ║█║▌║█║▌│║▌║▌█║ :[:=:]: ⇝ ⇪ ¯`v´¯) .`·. ¸ ..·´¨ .·*¨) (¸.·´ (¸. ´ .·´ ¸ . ║█║▌║█║▌│║▌║▌█║ Location: ====Texas==== · http://favstar.fm/users/teamsilence32 - 46,325 tweets. 2,222 following. 2,032 followers.

I've started calling phone conversations "spoken word" because, it turns out, I'm just not that into them, either.

5 October 2010 SeoulBrother @SeoulBrother [^136.147] https://twitter.com/#!/SeoulBrother/status/26483364080 Twitter bio and stats on 12 June 2013: Half Seoul. All Brother. Part of the http://AmericanDrink.net crew. Location: Tacoma · tumblr.seoulbrother.com - 5,526 tweets. 234 following. 5,934 followers.

The only people who EVER call your landline are people you hate, i swear.

8 November 2011 Chore Boy @ChorePush_ - https://twitter.com/#!/ChorePush_/status/134073747152973824 Twitter bio and stats on 18 July 2013: Michael Jordan @MikeJordanBro [^136.148] Chicago Bulls NBA champion. Hanes underwear model. I blew Nike up. Parody. Location: Chicago, IL. 8,705 tweets. 869 following. 7,167 followers. On 18 July 2013 the most recent tweet found in this account was dated 12 August 2012.

What the fuck is a land line?

19 January 2012 Jennifer ‏@hipchkk [^136.149] https://twitter.com/#!/hipchkk/status/160223627588018176 Her bio and stats on 23 May 2013: Sometimes it's just much cooler to be a rebel without a cause than a self-righteous asshole who has one. Location: Bay Area, California · http://favstar.fm/users/hipchkk - 36,849 tweets. 1,884 following. 15,410 followers.

I hate when I'm on the phone with someone and I go to reach for my phone because I'm bored.

28 June 2012 Clarke Kant ‏@clarkekant [^136.150] https://twitter.com/clarkekant/status/218529966940360704 Bio and stats on 18 November 2012: I'm all for saving the world, just not necessarily the people. Now available on http://Witstream.com ! Location: America-ish · http://favstar.fm/users/clarkekant - 9,997 tweets. 776 following. 29,442 followers.

Try to sell me something at the end so I know it's a spiel.

7 December 2012 Ryan ‏@ryaninco [^136.151] https://twitter.com/ryaninco/status/277309811048189952 His Twitter bio and stats on 10 October 2013: Traveler, self employed, diver, marrying @lookimhiding Oct. 26. GO BRONCOS! IG: Ryaninco. Location: in the moment. 28,410 tweets. 1,019 following. 13,602 followers.

Whenever I'm on the phone with someone I like to scream WAIT DON'T HANG UP right as they're hanging up & then not answer when they call back

1 February 2011 Steph @Lea_Stephanie [^136.152] https://twitter.com/#!/Lea_Stephanie/status/32570292190584832 On 30 August 2013, this account was found to have been disabled. No bio on 30 August 2013, only this user name, ID and stats: Stephanie Lea @lea_stephanie - 0 tweets. 1 following. 0 followers.

you do not answer me

i will go ahead and block you

you have 5 minute you

15 May 2012 ☜☆☞Legion☜☆☞ ‏@LegionLivesHere - https://twitter.com/#!/LegionLivesHere/status/202651297982328832 Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 10 October 2013: ☜☆☞Legion☜☆☞ ‏@LegionsMind [^136.152] ~Talking circles around your circles ~ I'm here but gone~ someone will be with you soon~ favstar.fm/users/legionsMind - 98,555 tweets. 4,950 following. 6,386 followers.

You have 60 seconds to text me back or we're done, everyone I know.

11 May 2012 Mae @mzeld [^136.153] https://twitter.com/#!/mzeld/status/201003714532749312 Her bio and stats on 12 November 2012: LET'S DO TWEETS OFF EACH OTHER'S BUTTS http://www.internet.com - 16,846 tweets. 698 following. 21,805 followers.

i didn't get your text because i'm lying

8 August 2012 the blowout ‏@theblowout [^136.154] https://twitter.com/theblowout/status/233338396083367940 Her Twitter bio and stats on 20 July 2013: is it too early to start drinking 3 hours ago? Location: raleigh, north carolina · about.me/theblowout - 30,827 tweets. 634 following. 10,757 followers.

You can imagine a lot of thing that piss you off between unanswered texts.

18 August 2012 Chopper ‏@chopper4jk [^136.155] https://twitter.com/chopper4jk/status/236758291303243776 His bio and stats on 27 October 2012: Yeah, I really just said that...Get over it...Usually up @chrisanna4real's skirt - IG chopper4jk http://favstar.fm/users/chopper4jk Location: Hood River OR. 16,044 tweets. 19,525 following. 20,795 followers.

I can't believe we still haven't figured out a better past tense word to replace "texted"

13 November 2012 Yes It's Al ‏@YesitsAl [^136.156] https://twitter.com/YesitsAl/status/268546142504120320 Bio and stats on 17 November 2012: I have some real zingers in my draft folder, guys, but I don't think you're ready for those yet. Location: Jersey Shore · http://favstar.fm/users/YesItsAl/recent - 4,209 tweets. 2,527 following. 3,558 followers.

@aem76us **Toox, toxen? Lol**

17 November 2012 Sahir Khan ‏@Sahir__khan [^136.157] https://twitter.com/Sahir__khan/status/269793778414530560 In reply to @aem76us RT of ‏@YesitsAl above. Bio of @Sahir__khan: A HUMAN!!! Location: Big blue marble. 2,733 tweets. 738 following. 254 followers.

@YesitsAl **messaged?**

13 November 2012 Indigo Sky ‏@indigo_sky360 [^136.158] https://twitter.com/indigo_sky360/status/268558373040050177 Bio and stats on 17 November 2012: I'm Cliff, a mystic poet, OTR Trucker, free thinker, eccentric, #INFP news junkie, explorer by way of getting lost... following my new purpose: Love. Location: Across the Sky... · panoplyoflife.blogspot.com - 20,452 tweets. 1,951 following. 1,599 followers.

@indigo_sky360 **that's what I say, but most people still say texted and it irks me**

13 November 2012 Yes It's Al ‏@YesitsAl [^136.159] https://twitter.com/YesitsAl/status/268559822276943872 Bio and stats on 17 November 2012: I have some real zingers in my draft folder, guys, but I don't think you're ready for those yet. Location: Jersey Shore · http://favstar.fm/users/YesItsAl/recent - 4,209 tweets. 2,527 following. 3,558 followers.

Technology really brings us apart.

8 May 2011 BS @OngoingBS [^136.160] https://twitter.com/#!/OngoingBS/status/67140662440632320 His bio and stats on 26 March 2013 I just saw a racist eating a mixed berry yogurt. What a liar. Location: Portland Fucking Oregon. 17,960 tweets. 2,169 following. 3,812 followers.

Placing a telephone call.

Shit just got real.

16 April 2012 bllix, the tinier ‏@tinybllix \- https://twitter.com/#!/tinybllix/status/191794657913602050 Her bio and stats on 28 February 2013: Yes, I'm @bllix. No, I'm not a bot. Yes, I'm also @loudbllix. No, I'm not schizophrenic. Yes, I'm real. No, I'm not a dude. Yes, I'm single. No, I'm busy later. Location: Portland, OR. · http://www.twitter.com/bllix - 3,853 tweets. 199 following. 1,357 followers. The same author posts as @bllix [^136.161], @tinybllix, @loudbllix and @bllixodus.

• • • • •

On communication and sharing:

The more you share the more powerful you become. Im betting my career on it.

13 July 2011 Jeremiah Owyang @jowyang [^136.162] https://twitter.com/#!/jowyang/status/91159695737372672 His bio and stats on 18 November 2012: Industry Analyst, Partner at Altimeter Group. Some tweets publish on timer. How I use Twitter http://bit.ly/LK0i - Location: Silicon Valley, CA · http://web-strategist.com/blog - 36,460 tweets. 13,132 following. 115,905 followers. Bio and stats on 27 April 2015: Founder of http://CrowdCompanies.com @CrowdCompanies, and housemate to @goodboyrumba - Location: Silicon Valley, CA - web-strategist.com/blog - 57,709 tweets. 18,513 following. 161,010 followers.

Jeremiah Owyang refers to his practice of making his industry-research reports available free.

Look and sound like where you're going.

14 September 2011 rands @rands [^136.163] https://twitter.com/#!/rands/status/114008960394207232 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 8,540 tweets. 499 following. 27,448 followers.

Blogging is really "try before you buy" for your future clients, employers, and even friends.

13 December 2010 Jeremiah Owyang @jowyang [^136.164] https://twitter.com/#!/jowyang/status/14498561194467328 His bio and stats on 18 November 2012: Industry Analyst, Partner at Altimeter Group. Some tweets publish on timer. How I use Twitter http://bit.ly/LK0i - Location: Silicon Valley, CA · http://web-strategist.com/blog - 36,460 tweets. 13,132 following. 115,905 followers. Bio and stats on 27 April 2015: Founder of http://CrowdCompanies.com @CrowdCompanies, and housemate to @goodboyrumba - Location: Silicon Valley, CA - web-strategist.com/blog - 57,709 tweets. 18,513 following. 161,010 followers.

By 2013, some US employers seeking to hire knowledge workers or professional consultants would only consider candidates with impressive blogs.

**At Apple they refer to their brand as a person in the room, "Apple wouldn't do that." or "Apple designs this way."** #wwad

6 December 2010 johnmaeda @johnmaeda [^136.165] https://twitter.com/#!/johnmaeda/status/11714001939464192 His Twitter bio and stats on 10 October 2013: President, Rhode Island School of Design. Former MIT Professor, Media Lab. MBA/PhD. Laws of Simplicity, Redesigning Leadership, Design+Technology+Business+Life. Location: Providence, RI · creativeleadership.com. 4,595 tweets. 7,778 following. 351,924 followers.

Few things more sobering than when an American casts aside native optimism and gives it to you straight and 'realistically'.

20 October 2010 Alain de Botton @alaindebotton [^136.166] https://twitter.com/#!/alaindebotton/status/27998357450 His bio and stats on 15 January 2013: Writer; most recently of 'Religion for Atheists'. Location: London · http://tinyurl.com/chcbro9 - 555 tweets. 4,420 following. 308,786 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  137. Meetings

My fancy pants have a meeting in the morning.

I basically go along to make sure nothing spills on them.

23 June 2009 Tim Siedell @badbanana [^137.1] https://twitter.com/badbanana/status/2288299109 His Twitter bio and stats on 13 November 2012: Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire. Location: Nebraska, USA · http://about.me/timsiedell - 14,736 tweets. 270 following. 625,020 followers.

The 8:30AM meeting was canceled. Shame we don't carry around some device that lets you contact us at all times to tell us.

13 August 2012 Meeting Boy ‏@MeetingBoy [^137.2] https://twitter.com/MeetingBoy/status/235016690352664577 Twitter bio and stats on 8 August 2013: I hate my job. Location: across the conference table · meetingboy.com/posts - 6,123 tweets. 86,778 following. 148,037 followers.

Should vegetarians attend meetings?

3 February 2012 Anthony Permal @anthonypermal [^137.3] https://twitter.com/#!/anthonypermal/status/165367508528934912 Bio: 1,417 followers. Dubai. Pakistani Christian, copywriter, marketing guru, social activist, bullshitter extraordinaire, theologian, liberal. Call me Tony Khan. His bio and stats on 11 October 2013: Because coffee, chocolate & men r always better dark. ;) I'm a #Jesus Freak. Call me Khan. Tony Khan. #Christian #Redeemed #TeamJesus. Tweets r my own opinions. Location: Dubai · digitaljesus.wordpress.com. 48,950 tweets, 3,350 following. 4,428 followers.

If I was boss I wouldn't call you to my office

I'd summon you.

3 November 2012 El nacho Nigré ‏@El_nacho_Nigre [^137.4] https://twitter.com/El_nacho_Nigre/status/264803393804054530 His bio and stats on 6 November 2012: Maybe I should just leave this part blank. http://favstar.fm/users/El_nacho_Nigre/recent - 32,474 tweets. 3,147 following. 3,549 followers.

I guess covering my face with my hands and saying "Noooooooo" isn't the expected answer when "invited" to a meeting.

30 August 2011 KBC ‏@k_beec [^137.5] https://twitter.com/k_beec/status/108589955919523840 Her bio and stats on 11 October 2013: I like to watch. Location: San Juan, Puerto Rico · favstar.fm/users/k_beec - 13,577 tweets. 2,532 following. 3,264 followers.

When someone says "We need to talk,"

I think, "Or...how about we never talk again?"

8 November 2012 Julius Sharpe ‏@juliussharpe [^137.6] https://twitter.com/juliussharpe/status/266732343006490624 His bio and stats on 4 December 2012: Writer for Family Guy on FOX. Frequent bathrobe wearer. Location: Los Angeles, CA. 4,196 tweets. 509 following. 102,262 followers.

Are you free tomorrow?

No, I'm expensive.

15 January 2012 Stewie NOT Griffin @lordstewie [^137.7] https://twitter.com/#!/lordstewie/status/158810882497982465 On 11 October 2013 this account was found to have been suspended.

Point of order! Point of order!

I'm too sexy for this budget committee.

10 July 2009 Jason Sweeney @sween [^137.8] in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia on Favrd. https://twitter.com/#!/sween/status/2577922766 His Twitter bio and stats on 18 November 2012: limited edition, macaroni and glitter on construction paper. Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada · http://iamyourcanadianboyfriend.com - 6,366 tweets. 295 following. 1,130,544 followers.

**Yes Minister quotes relevant to ‪** # **ICANN44‬: "We must do something. This is something. Therefore we must do it."**

24 June 2012 Lesley Cowley ‏@lesleycowley [^137.9] https://twitter.com/lesleycowley/status/216870248454963200 Bio: Nominet CEO, tweeting about the domain name industry & Internet governance. F1, rally & motorbike fan and keen gardener & cook. Weakness for bargain handbags! Location: Wiltshire, England. Her Twitter bio and stats on 11 October 2013: Nominet CEO & Board Member, ccNSO Chair. Internet enthusiast & occasionally influential woman in IT. STEM ambassador. http://www.nominet.org.uk – Location: Wiltshire · lesleycowley.me.uk. 1,613 tweets. 68 following. 1,542 followers.

ICANN meeting number 44 was held in Prague at a time when almost 2,000 applications for new global top-level domains (gTLDs) had just been received and the new gTLD project manager Michael Salazar had been let go. The candidate selected to become ICANN's new CEO was announced at that meeting in Prague. However, the new CEO's appointment would not become effective for several months. ICANN was said to be running like an unmasted ship in a storm.

Yes Minister is a television series that satirized the Britain's political elite and civil servants. It was first aired by BBC Television between 1980 and 1984.

Good Board Meeting. I've had more fun in a coma.

5 December 2012 Mikey Hill ‏@MikeyHill_ [^137.10] https://twitter.com/MikeyHill_/status/276414180591009792 Twitter bio and stats: SF BAY AREA · http://favstar.fm/users/MikeyHill_ - 2,882 tweets. 671 following. 1,296 followers.

The only thing more exciting than watching contracts get signed is reading them.

#ICANN47

15 July 2013 Reg Levy ‏@RegLevy [^137.11] https://twitter.com/RegLevy/status/356684157637754882 Her Twitter bio: Apple geek, law nerd, tea snob, & sometime gamer. Although I am employed by Minds + Machines, I tweet solely in my own capacity. reglevy.com - 14,596 tweets. 135 following. 394 followers.

Tweeted during an ICANN public meeting in Durban when new gTLD registry contracts were being signed, including one for the Arabic IDN.IDN .shabaka, which translates as .web or .network. IDN = international domain name, in non-English characters. IDN.IDN = non-English characters on both sides of the dot.

In every conference,the Q&A session is hogged by some asshole who's more interested in showing off his knowledge than learning anything new

12 April 2014 The Bad Doctor ‏@doctoratlarge [^137.12] https://twitter.com/doctoratlarge/status/454875863486832640 Bio: When you're good, people love you. When you're bad, you love yourself. doctoratlarge.wordpress.com - 54,538 tweets. 352 following. 38,429 followers.

Audience questions should actually * ask questions *

....at think tank events few actually do.

13 June 2012 Adam Elkus ‏@Aelkus [^137.13] https://twitter.com/Aelkus/status/213022556645621760 Twitter bio and stats on 11 October 2013: PhD student, Computational Social Science at http://www.css.gmu.edu/ . Blog on polisci, natsec, research methods. Learning Python, dreaming of TacoCopters. Location: Washington, D.C. · rethinkingsecurity.tumblr.com. 47,363 tweets. 1,370 following. 4,171 followers.

Reply:

@Aelkus @CNASdc **could solve that problem by asking audience to write qs on cards, pass to moderator.**

13 June 2012 mieke eoyang ‏@MiekeEoyang [^137.14] https://twitter.com/MiekeEoyang/status/213022897940336640 Her Twitter bio and stats on 11 October 2013: Director @ThirdWayNatSec.Bio: http://thirdway.org/staff/11 . Comments from peanut gallery are my own. RTs ≠ endorsement or confirmation of classified. Location: Washington, DC · thirdway.org. 6,190 tweets. 797 following. 847 followers.

CNAS @CNASdc – Twitter bio and stats on 11 October 2013: Center for a New American Security: Developing strong, pragmatic and principled national security and defense policies. Washington, D.C. · cnas.org. 2,520 tweets. 1,919 following. 14,958 followers.

Why do panels always turn into a sales pitch for each company? I thought they were about actual discussion

#gdnmbs

19 November 2012 Steve Workman ‏@steveworkman [^137.15] https://twitter.com/steveworkman/status/270512384114847745 Bio: London Web Standards Organiser, Web Dev, UX architect, iOS and CSS brainiac with a passion for good design and innovation. Location: London · http://www.steveworkman.com - 8,068 tweets. 393 following. 683 followers. The hashtag is for the Guardian Mobile Business Summit, which he participated in that day in London.

Inaugural session speakers way over session time. Deference trumps time mgmt in India.

10:18 a.m. Sunday, 25 November 2012 Swarna Rajagopalan ‏@swarraj [^137.16] https://twitter.com/swarraj/status/272570014924693504 Her bio: Political scientist by training, writer, analyst, freelance researcher, highly educated factotum, sometimes teacher, building a thinktank called Prajnya. Location: India · http://www.swarnar.com \- 24,527 tweets. 684 following. 2,117 followers. mgmt = management.

Speaker shows no awareness that she shares time w others. This is also a kind of silencing. Fewer speakers, better time mgmt-what we need.

10:28 a.m. Sunday, 25 November 2012 Swarna Rajagopalan ‏@swarraj [^137.17] https://twitter.com/swarraj/status/272572382395367425 Her bio: Political scientist by training, writer, analyst, freelance researcher, highly educated factotum, sometimes teacher, building a thinktank called Prajnya. Location: India · http://www.swarnar.com \- 24,527 tweets. 684 following. 2,117 followers. mgmt = management.

So again I ended up racing and chopping my way thru my presentation. Should remember not to bother prepping next time. Waste of effort.

12:04 p.m. Sunday, 25 November 2012 Swarna Rajagopalan ‏@swarraj [^137.18] https://twitter.com/swarraj/status/272596658846572544 Her bio: Political scientist by training, writer, analyst, freelance researcher, highly educated factotum, sometimes teacher, building a thinktank called Prajnya. Location: India · http://www.swarnar.com \- 24,527 tweets. 684 following. 2,117 followers.

The following tweet identifies the setting for the three previous tweets:

At RGNIYD, Sriperumbudur, seminar on VAW.

10:13 a.m. Sunday, 25 November 2012 Swarna Rajagopalan ‏@swarraj [^137.19] https://twitter.com/swarraj/status/272568598067810304 Her bio: Political scientist by training, writer, analyst, freelance researcher, highly educated factotum, sometimes teacher, building a thinktank called Prajnya. Location: India · http://www.swarnar.com \- 24,527 tweets. 684 following. 2,117 followers. VAW = violence against women.

**At** # **GdnMBS conference. No idea about the agenda as I always refuse to download conference apps to my phone**

19 November 2012 Dean Bubley ‏@disruptivedean [^137.20] https://twitter.com/disruptivedean/status/270451767056166912 Bio and stats on 11 December 2012: Mobile / wireless industry analyst, consultant & speaker. Founder of Disruptive Analysis & Disruptive Wireless blog. See also my paid Twitter channel @DApremium. Location and statistics on 12 February 2013: London, UK · http://disruptivewireless.blogspot.com - 10,075 tweets. 831 following. 4,395 followers.

The hashtag refers to the Guardian Mobile Business Summit, held that day in London. Apps can be exploited to create security holes that violate users' privacy, steal their address books, and tunnel into corporate databases. Webpages in HTML can provide a safer alternative.

People who come to a meeting unprepared to take notes should be regarded with suspicion.

20 November 2012 Adam Rothstein ‏@Interdome [^137.21] https://twitter.com/Interdome/status/271094035320537090 Bio and stats on 25 November 2012: the ease of repetitive motion, the orgasmic cries of habit, the pattern dance of charged particles, our shared interest in static. Location: iPhone: 0.000000,0.000000 · http://www.poszu.com - 13,165 tweets. 172 following. 919 followers.

Oh, you'll detail that on the next slide?

There are more slides?

Well, NOW you've got my attention!

LET'S DO THIS.

21 July 2009 Sean Hussey @seanhussey [^137.22] on Favrd. https://twitter.com/seanhussey/status/2758744023 His Twitter bio and stats on 30 September 2013: For the period spanning 1999 through 2005, all of my hobbies required special pants. Location: Boston, The shadow o' the Pru · thememegeneration.tumblr.com. 5,196 tweets. 330 following. 2,304 followers.

@timmathews **Powerpoint is the path to the dark side. PowerPoint leads to Excel. Excel leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.**

1 March 2014 Dalton ‏@Dalton_NC [^137.23] https://twitter.com/Dalton_NC/status/439923852249169920 [^] Bio: Grew up in the Ozarks, Adj. Asst Professor of Emergency Med @ UNC, ATU Alumni. Crisis Management, Information Dominance, bourbon and college sports. Location: Chapel Hill, NC. 1,394 tweets. 203 following. 225 followers.

In reply to:

Unhappy achievement: My Excel skills are nearly on par with my PowerPoint skills. I wish I could promise to only use these powers for good.

Saturday, 1 March 2014 Tim Mathews ‏@timmathews [^137.24] https://twitter.com/timmathews/status/439916821227917312 Bio: Army JAG; ME native; MBA; former Infantry Officer. I follow news on security in MENA/AfPak, global business, and Islamic law/finance. Views are mine, not DOD's. Location: Sportsman's Paradise. 6,766 tweets. 385 following. 2,962 followers.

For your next death-by-powerpoint meeting:"I have a question about your last slide. No,not the previous slide. The last slide."

17 September 2012 Dennis Moore ‏@dbmoore [^137.25] https://twitter.com/dbmoore/status/247915503123832832 Bio: Enterprise solutions, news, and some thoughts. See also http://dbmoore.blogspot.com/ - 18,492 tweets. 106 following. 3,445 followers.

I think I found the cure for insomnia. It's called a "mandatory meeting".

19 October 2010 Miss_Cook @Miss_Cook [^137.26] https://twitter.com/#!/Miss_Cook/status/27861288129 Twitter bio and stats on 11 October 2013: If I fit my entire life bio into one line, I'm never gonna get that book deal. Boobies. Location: Inside my head. 4,038 tweets. 387 following. 6,110 followers.

Keep talking, I'm just going to take a little nap.

1 December 2011 muchkin lip biter ‏@prettymuches - https://twitter.com/#!/prettymuches/status/142273168772575232 Her screen name, ID, bio and stats on 13 May 2013: ♥ @grrrawrr_ [^137.27] 7,991 tweets. 1,325 following. 1,958 followers.

Yeah, let's argue semantics for another hour. That's a great use of our time.

23 July 2012 Meeting Boy ‏@MeetingBoy [^137.28] https://twitter.com/MeetingBoy/status/22740790675099238 Twitter bio and stats on 8 August 2013: I hate my job. Location: across the conference table · meetingboy.com/posts - 6,123 tweets. 86,778 following. 148,037 followers.

"I'm not gonna argue semantics." — person losing an argument

25 July 2012 bllix ‏@bllix [^137.29] https://twitter.com/bllix/status/228208273654968320 Her bio and stats on 30 October 2012: Electronic music producer/knob-twiddler, MYLF, Multilingual programmer, Attorney at LOL, Thug 4 Life, Laundromancer, METAL AS FVCK. Damn, Gina. Location: Portland, OR. · http://bllix.tumblr.com - 12,746 tweets. 501 following. 4,516 followers.

Mature responses when losing an argument:

1) Change the subject

2) Say "I'm done!"

3) Transfer blame

4) Plug your ears

5) Raspberries

4 October 2012 Laura ‏@LBelle1 [^137.30] https://twitter.com/LBelle1/status/253936499136020480

Bio: Midwestern mother of two haphazardly cogitating her way through life. Location: U.S. 7,325 tweets. 1,842 following. 1,714 followers.

The 3rd Level of Hell is billing meetings.

7 August 2013 Meeting Boy ‏@MeetingBoy [^137.31] https://twitter.com/MeetingBoy/status/365158309801635840 Twitter bio and stats on 8 August 2013: I hate my job. Location: across the conference table · meetingboy.com/posts - 6,123 tweets. 86,778 following. 148,037 followers.

Reply:

"@MeetingBoy: The 3rd Level of Hell is billing meetings."

The first level if hell is making collection calls on those billings.

7 August 2013 dietcokehead ‏@sandiegokat [^137.32] https://twitter.com/sandiegokat/status/365174835309051904 Her Twitter bio and stats on 8 August 2013: Sugar and spice and everything nice....so bite me. GO EAGLES! Location: san diego. 29,565 tweets. 154 following. 283 followers. Philadelphia's professional American football team is called the Eagles.

Billing and payments collection are top priorities in most consultancy businesses, surpassing the completion of client work and obtaining new work.

Most of the people in this meeting are just wasting their time. I'm focused and goal driven so I'm starring tweets.

13 July 2011 Buck ‏@buck4itt [^137.33] https://twitter.com/#!/buck4itt/status/91199753056034816 His bio and stats on 5 January 2013: American Humorist in a van wearing loose fitting shorts and holding a puppy. http://favstar.fm/users/buck4itt http://buck4itt.tumblr.com/ Under 18? Go away. Location: Northern California. 4,296 tweets. 9,308 following. 15,550 followers.

After lunch is a strategy meeting so I need to warm up my neck and make sure it's ready for a lot of nodding.

5 November 2012 El nacho Nigré ‏@El_nacho_Nigre [^137.34] https://twitter.com/El_nacho_Nigre/status/265404301596299264 His bio and stats the next day: Maybe I should just leave this part blank. http://favstar.fm/users/El_nacho_Nigre/recent - 32,474 tweets. 3,147 following. 3,549 followers.

I learned something really important in a meeting today.

If you fold the top of your ears through your hoop earrings you'll look like Yoda.

6 September 2011 Don't Tell Daddy @Hormonella [^137.35] https://twitter.com/#!/Hormonella/status/111182595441688576 Her bio and stats on 10 December 2012: My body is not my temple. It's more like my bar and grill. Location: Stepford · http://favstar.fm/users/Hormonella/recent - 33,857 tweets. 17,421 following. 20,118 followers.

This meeting could use less me.

21 October 2011 bee @dosesofneurosis [^137.36] https://twitter.com/#!/dosesofneurosis/status/127454132587085824 No account with this ID found on 7 April 2013.

Tying a rope around my waist. If this meeting isn't over in two hours, someone pull me out.

21 July 2009 Tim Siedell @badbanana [^137.37] on Favrd. https://twitter.com/badbanana/status/2761778921 His Twitter bio and stats on 13 November 2012: Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire. Location: Nebraska, USA · http://about.me/timsiedell - 14,736 tweets. 270 following. 625,020 followers.

I might be physically thirty-seven but if you subtract all the meetings, I'm only about twenty-two.

16 August 2011 Joel Ingersoll ‏@FlyoverJoel [^137.38] https://twitter.com/flyoverjoel/status/103444257339219968 His bio and stats on 10 December 2012: I get up and I put on pants. Location: Saint Paul, MN · http://favstar.fm/users/FlyoverJoel/most_retweeted - 9,975 tweets. 540 following. 6,314 followers.

I've been on a conference call for over an hour.

I have no fucking clue what anyone is talking about.

I'm just listening for my name.

4 November 2011 farleftcoast @farleftcoast [^137.39] https://twitter.com/#!/farleftcoast/status/132523292539092993 Bio and stats on 19 December 2012: Before I get my hair cut I whisper to the stylist: If you fuck up my hair I'll burn your salon down. I love @thedailymarker so much I put a ring on his finger. Location: The Dock of the Bay · http://favstar.fm/users/farleftcoast - 43,848 tweets. 840 following. 13,578 followers.

I have no idea what the hell anyone is talking about in this meeting.

I feel like a Kardashian at a spelling bee.

23 May 2012 Buck ‏@buck4itt [^137.40] https://twitter.com/buck4itt/status/205363095558823936 His bio and stats on 5 January 2013: American Humorist in a van wearing loose fitting shorts and holding a puppy. http://favstar.fm/users/buck4itt http://buck4itt.tumblr.com/ Under 18? Go away. Location: Northern California. 4,296 tweets. 9,308 following. 15,550 followers.

When giving presentations it's important to start with an attention getting introduction so I always kill the weakest audience member.

19 January 2012 Joel Ingersoll ‏@FlyoverJoel [^137.41] https://twitter.com/flyoverjoel/status/160064657833472000 His bio and stats on 10 December 2012: I get up and I put on pants. Location: Saint Paul, MN · http://favstar.fm/users/FlyoverJoel/most_retweeted - 9,975 tweets. 540 following. 6,314 followers.

My son told me that I wasn't the "boss" of him, so I showed him a 37 slide PowerPoint to justify my management position.

12 October 2010 iamnotdiddy @iamnotdiddy [^137.42] https://twitter.com/#!/iamnotdiddy/status/27163067297 Twitter bio and stats on 26 June 2013: How'd you find me, mom? Location: Fetal Position, Shower · http://www.witstream.com/contributor/iamnotdiddy%E2%84%A2_ - 3,367 tweets. 490 following. 7,538 followers.

That meeting had everything.

It had drama, suspense, laughter,

and if he would of kept talking...

Death.

8 July 2009 GPappalardo (Soap Box Liberal) from San Diego on Favrd. https://twitter.com/GPappalardo/status/2536699893 Twitter bio and stats on 29 August 2013 for Soap Box Liberal @GPappalardo [^137.43] Don't believe everything you read. Location: San Diego · puzzld.tumblr.com. 15,420 tweets. 1,094 following. 5,207 followers.

To be honest, that presentation was awkward looooong before we accidentally set the client's hair on fire.

15 October 2010 Tim Siedell @badbanana [^137.44] https://twitter.com/#!/badbanana/status/27474128291 His bio and stats on 13 November 2012: Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire. Location: Nebraska, USA · http://about.me/timsiedell - 14,736 tweets. 270 following. 625,020 followers.

Rough sliding scale on diplomatic exchanges: warm, productive, constructive, cordial, detailed, businesslike, candid, serious, full & frank.

16 June 2013 Tom Fletcher ‏@HMATomFletcher [^137.45] https://twitter.com/HMATomFletcher/status/346315577507340288 Bio and stats on 21 June 2013: British Ambassador to Lebanon Our photos: http://flickr.com/ukinlebanon Youtube videos: http://bit.ly/14vv6yA - Location: Beirutopia · https://www.gov.uk/government/world/lebanon - 4,596 tweets. 725 following. 14,904 followers.

Standup meetings are one third shorter.

The quote below is from: "No More Angling for the Best Seat; More Meetings Are Stand-Up Jobs," by Rachel Emma Silverman, The Wall Street Journal, 2 February 2012, http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052970204652904577193460472598378

Subtitle: "Companies Ban Sitting to Speed Things Up; Ralph the Chicken Decides Next Speaker."

No Twitter ID found on 25 October 2013 for Rachel Emma Silverman [^137.46].

The Wall Street Journal @WSJ [^137.47] Twitter bio and stats on 5 February 2013: Breaking news and features from The Wall Street Journal. Tweets by @rubinafillion @fieldproducer @demetria_g @elanazak and @lheron. Location: New York, NY · http://wsj.com - 45,372 tweets. 506 following. 2,476,488 followers.

From Rachel Emma Silverman's article:

Stand-up meetings are part of a fast-moving tech culture in which sitting has become synonymous with sloth. The object is to eliminate long-winded confabs where participants pontificate, play Angry Birds on their cellphones or tune out...

Holding meetings standing up isn't new. Some military leaders did it during World War I, according to Allen Bluedorn, a business professor at the University of Missouri. A number of companies have adopted stand-up meetings over the years. Mr. Bluedorn did a study back in 1998 that found that standing meetings were about a third shorter than sitting meetings and the quality of decision-making was about the same.

The current wave of stand-up meeting is being fueled by the growing use of "Agile," an approach to software development, crystallized in a manifesto published by 17 software professionals in 2001. The method calls for compressing development projects into short pieces. It also involves daily stand-up meetings where participants are supposed to quickly update their peers with three things: What they have done since yesterday's meeting; what they are doing today; and any obstacles that stand in the way of getting work done.

Rachel Emma Silverman describes how spaces are created and outfitted for standup meetings. These spaces can include an elevated meeting table. The cue for personnel to come together for a meeting can be signaled by playing a recording of a familiar piece of music.

When there is not enough time for a standup meeting, employees can simply take turns shouting out their status updates, while remaining seated at their desks. Those meetings are called 'sit downs' and are even faster than standup meetings.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  138. Shaking hands

Attitudes toward handshaking are changing. Michael Arrington is out in front on this issue. Tuberculosis (the _white plague_ ), Ebola-virus disease and other health risks bring up the rear.

Soon, shaking someone's hand will automatically subscribe you to their dull newsletter and you'll have to shake again to remove yourself.

4 February 2013 Simon Barraclough ‏@EssBarraclough [^138.1] https://twitter.com/EssBarraclough/status/298383255051317248 His bio and stats on 16 February 2013: Poet, writer, Italophile: 'Los Alamos Mon Amour', 'Bonjour Tetris', 'Neptune Blue', 'Psycho Poetica'. Location: London · http://www.simonbarraclough.com -4,467 tweets. 888 following. 969 followers.

Squeezing someone's hand really hard during a handshake is the proper way to introduce yourself as a fucking asshole.

24 July 2010 Josh Hara @yoyoha [^138.2] https://twitter.com/yoyoha/status/19454580197 His bio and stats on 7 November 2012: I'm just a boy, standing in front of the internet, asking it to love him. Location: Columbus, Ohio · http://www.statusillustrated.com - 9,690 tweets. 668 following. 44,423 followers.

Health tip: There's never a 'safe' time to shake a teenage boy's hand. Never.

20 May 2011 The Snark Knight ‏@Mothpete [^138.3] https://twitter.com/Mothpete/status/71499401725616128 His Twitter bio and stats on 7 June 2013: Help me. I've been stuck on this god forsaken planet for decades now. http://www.mothrust.com – Location: Australia · http://favstar.fm/users/Mothpete/most_retweeted - 11,452 tweets. 8,112 following. 12,952 followers.

Hello, pleased to meet you. Here, have some germs.

19 September 2011 Urooj Zia @UroojZia [^138.4] https://twitter.com/#!/UroojZia/status/115968373808050176 Twitter bio and stats on 7 June 2013: Founder @laalteyn. I also train dogs @talk2dogpk; research feminism, rape culture, & childhood abuse @bytesforall; and talk about Karachi, and my cats and dogs. Location: Karachi, Pakistan · laalteyn.com - 53,261 tweets. 1,322 following. 9,052 followers. Tweeted while waiting for an hour inside an airplane on the tarmac in Karachi, waiting to take off for Islamabad or, as "Uzi" calls it, Islamablah.

A handshake is just a hug for people who'd rather spread germs.

4 November 2010 Shira @shiraselko [^138.5] https://twitter.com/#!/shiraselko/status/132436003343450112 Her Twitter bio and stats on 7 June 2013: Improviser. 5'1. Pittsburgh sports fan. Opprobrious. Contributor to WitStream. Location: Hoboken, NJ · http://witstream.com/#shira_selkovits - 8,204 tweets. 821 following. 9,188 followers.

Kissing is healthier and more hygienic than shaking hands.

31 December 2011 What The Fuck Facts @WTFuckFacts [^138.6] https://twitter.com/#!/WTFuckFacts/status/153264187718635521 Twitter bio and stats on 7 June 2013: Tweeting facts that some of you don't care about. Location: All Around The World. 261 tweets. 16 following. 1,617 followers.

Serious Q: Why do people shake hands? Where does that tradition come from? And why are we still touching everyone?

4 December 2012 Flrsi ‏@Flrsi [^138.7] https://twitter.com/Flrsi/status/275889749003231233 His bio and stats on 6 December 2012: Constantly frowning. King of the Internet. All-round creepy guy. Location: Pretoria, South Africa · kabaalklankbaan.bandcamp.com - 16,600 tweets. 504 following. 382 followers.

Don't touch me, I'm full of snakes.

28 March 2014 Daily Kerouac ‏@DailyKerouac [^138.8] https://twitter.com/DailyKerouac/status/449691802162171904 Bio and stats on 5 April 2014: Jack Kerouac in 140 characters. Daily. Chicago. 1,896 tweets. 934 following. 16,611 followers.

" **Hand Shaking Is So Medieval. Let's End It," by Michael Arrington**

TechCrunch, 9 May 2009 http://techcrunch.com/2009/05/09/hand-shaking-is-so-medieval-lets-end-it/

Twitter bio and stats on 27 February 2013 of Michael Arrington @arrington [^138.9] Be Excellent To Each Other. Location: Palo Alto, CA · http://www.uncrunched.com - 11,543 tweets. 2,593 following. 151,599 followers.

Twitter ID, bio and stats of TechCrunch @TechCrunch [^138.10] on 15 January 2013: Breaking Technology News And Opinions From TechCrunch. Location: Silicon Valley · http://techcrunch.com - 52,393 tweets. 818 following. 2,549,933 followers.

In public health terms, a return to medieval handshaking would represent an improvement over current practices. Handshaking in medieval Europe was less a form of greeting than an expression of agreement, practiced, for example, at the end of an important meeting.

See also: "Manners and Politeness," The Time Traveler's Guide to Medieval England — A Handbook for Visitors to the Fourteenth Century, by Ian Mortimer, @IanJamesFM, New York: Touchstone/Simon & Schuster, 2011, page 91.

Below is a comment posted to Michael Arrington's article by Cathryn [^138.11], January-February 2012, http://techcrunch.com/2009/05/09/hand-shaking-is-so-medieval-lets-end-it/#comment-412204378

In addition to: I don't know where your hands have been:

I hate when a man or, yes, a woman, uses a bone crunch handshake, I guess to show me who's the boss.

My hand is small and disappears in most other people's hands. One time my hand really throbbed for hours after a bone cruncher.

Now, I politely just say, Oh, I don't shake hands, with no apology, just as a fact, and change the subject quickly so no embarrassment on the other's part.

It isn't a real deal if the handshake doesn't involve saliva.

12 July 2012 Pedo Elephant ‏@zegawky [^138.12] https://twitter.com/zegawky/status/223659311958736897 Her bio and stats on 25 September 2012: Everything you're thinking is stupid! Location: Homeless. 1,797 tweets. 239 following. 472 followers.

In the Yemeni highlands, sincerity is demonstrated by a man kissing the top of his own hand before and after shaking hands with another man.

Not shaking hands is the new shaking hands

19 February 2012 Tom B @EastKentTom [^138.13] https://twitter.com/#!/EastKentTom/status/168315083271847937 Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 15 October 2013: EastKentTom ‏@EastKentTom - Based on a true story. Location: Margate, UK. 13,654 tweets. 455 following. 2,059 followers.

• • • • •

Enough with the handshaking. Now it's off to meet new people, show up at work, attend meetings and flirt with punctuality.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  139. Meeting new people and being punctual

If you want to make a first impression that someone will never forget, insult them!

6 September 2012 Ghetto Trophy ‏@Ghetto_Trophy [^139.1] https://twitter.com/Ghetto_Trophy/status/243613458367660032 Her bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I'm the Forrest Gump of this place. http://ghettotrophy.tumblr.com/ Location: United Nations/San Francisco · http://favstar.fm/users/Ghetto_Trophy/recent - 38,533 tweets. 3,560 following. 7,789 followers.

This tweet can be read from the perspective of the person being insulted.

I've decided to be more honest so now I say "It's fine to meet you."

29 July 2012 Bagyants ‏@Bagyants [^139.2] https://twitter.com/Bagyants/status/229737283463561217 His bio and stats on 23 November 2012: Some people grunt at the gym; I scream at the top of my lungs THEY KILLED MY FAMILY as I lift weights. Location: Kansas · http://favstar.fm/users/Bagyants - 486 tweets. 232 following. 6,086 followers.

Top tip: whenever you meet your enememies, always pronounce their names slightly wrong.

29 August 2012 Moose Allain ‏@MooseAllain [^139.3] https://twitter.com/MooseAllain/status/240775607825358849 Bio and stats on 16 May 2013: Artist & Illustrator. Dogsbody, but human head. Peripheral visionary. Pest. Daddy to @archie_allain http://soundcloud.com/moosechoons - Location: Exmouth in Devon · http://www.worldofmoose.com - 105,488 tweets. 1,071 following. 28,460 followers.

With enememies, this tweet demonstrates the form that it describes.

"I have no idea what your name is." - me, 5 seconds after you introduce yourself

3 February 2012 Bagyants ‏@Bagyants [^139.4] https://twitter.com/Bagyants/status/165496966317473792 His bio and stats on 23 November 2012: Some people grunt at the gym; I scream at the top of my lungs THEY KILLED MY FAMILY as I lift weights. Location: Kansas · http://favstar.fm/users/Bagyants - 486 tweets. 232 following. 6,086 followers.

You know that name-dropping actually indicates that you don't know the person whose name you just dropped.

20 September 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^139.5] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/248720198989934592 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,223 tweets. 1,918 following. 1,773 followers.

You have your people call my people.

But not too early because my people like to sleep till noon.

1 July 2011 Niki @NikiWithIssues [^139.6] https://twitter.com/#!/NikiWithIssues/status/86898377756917762 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: I'm super lazy. Which is like normal lazy but I'm also wearing a cape. Location: The Shire · http://favstar.fm/users/NikiWithIssues - 6,027 tweets. 811 following. 35,838 followers.

Don't ever have your people call my people.

I hate your people.

13 July 2012 Gordo ‏@gorrdano [^139.7] https://twitter.com/gorrdano/status/223981748512489472 His bio and stats on 13 December 2012: I put people's names in my bio. @The_Sculptress and @TheOneTrueDisco says suck it. Check out @PrianhaPanorama #ff @Lisa_Laughs_ · http://www.favstar.fm/users/gorrdano/recent - 85,830 tweets. 5,919 following. 10,641 followers.

So this is what it feels like to be at work on time. Huh.

22 June 2009 Stephanie ‏@CcSteff [^139.8] from Richmond, VA on Favrd. https://twitter.com/CcSteff/status/2278114494 Her Twitter bio and stats on 2 April 2013: Hey, turtleface. Want a peanut? sprattacus [at] gmail. Location: Menlo Park, CA. 3,456 tweets. 207 following. 5,762 followers.

*Insert Early Morning inspirational tweet here*

7:05 a.m. her time, 18 April 2013 Justine Nienaber ‏@punkystarfish [^139.9] https://twitter.com/punkystarfish/status/324750504204836864 Her bio: Social Media & PPC Gal @Talooma | Zimbabwean | Tall blonde | Lover of Pandas | Runner always in training | Infographic addict | Blogger | #ActiveIsAttractive. Location: I swam here from Zimbabwe · http://www.justinejoyit.co.za - 14,390 tweets. 514 following. 1,357 followers.

The down side of being a Farmers daughter is that anytime after 5am regardless of the day of the week is considered "late"

7 September 2012 Justine Nienaber ‏@punkystarfish [^139.10] https://twitter.com/punkystarfish/status/244314494027841537 Her stats on 9 October 2012: 12,380 tweets. 425 following. 878 followers. Her bio and stats on 28 November 2012: I tweet it up like Tweety bird | Social Media Gal @Talooma | Digital Guru in Training |Zimbabwean | Taller than you | Loves Pandas | Favourite time is 12:34. Location: I swam here from Zimbabwe · http://www.justinejoyit.co.za - 12,690 tweets. 507 following. 1,042 followers.

Drives to work. Parks. Realise I have no shoes on. Drives home to get shoes.

20 November 2012 Justine Joy ‏@punkystarfish [^139.11] https://twitter.com/punkystarfish/status/271099834801467393 Her bio and stats on 28 November 2012: I tweet it up like Tweety bird | Social Media Gal @Talooma | Digital Guru in Training |Zimbabwean | Taller than you | Loves Pandas | Favourite time is 12:34. Location: I swam here from Zimbabwe · http://www.justinejoyit.co.za - 12,690 tweets. 507 following. 1,042 followers.

My last tweet is the story of how I started not being Zimbabwean and started becoming a South African.

20 November 2012 Justine Joy ‏@punkystarfish [^139.12] https://twitter.com/punkystarfish/status/271100837084925952 Her bio and stats on 28 November 2012: I tweet it up like Tweety bird | Social Media Gal @Talooma | Digital Guru in Training |Zimbabwean | Taller than you | Loves Pandas | Favourite time is 12:34. Location: I swam here from Zimbabwe · http://www.justinejoyit.co.za - 12,690 tweets. 507 following. 1,042 followers.

It takes me like 5 days to wake up in the morning.

3 December 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^139.13] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/275854780625207296 Her bio and stats on 4 December 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 11,091 tweets. 1,629 following. 1,788 followers.

None of my reasons for living involve morning.

5 November 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^139.14] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/397754041385488384 Twitter bio and stats on 21 November 2013 of this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 16,371 tweets. 726 following. 27,435 followers.

The Woman Who Mistook Her Alarm Clock For An Ex

22 May 2012 Hormonella, damn it! ‏@Hormonella [^139.15] https://twitter.com/#!/Hormonella/status/204894215916896257 Her bio and stats on 10 December 2012: My body is not my temple. It's more like my bar and grill. Location: Stepford · http://favstar.fm/users/Hormonella/recent - 33,857 tweets. 17,421 following. 20,118 followers.

**And** - **now** - **a haiku about waking up:**

no no no no no

no no no no no no no

no no no no no

4 December 2013 Ashley Zamot ‏@_BreakingAshley [^139.16] https://twitter.com/_BreakingAshley/status/408306453800558592 Her bio and stats on 8 December 2013: Formerly @_ActuallyAshley. This my new and improved Twitter. Location: New York, NY · favstar.fm/users/_BreakingAshley 476 tweets. 96 following. 51 followers.

I woke up, but apparently that's not good enough.

14 September 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^139.17] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/378888448666374144 Twitter bio and stats on 30 December 2013 for this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 17,120 tweets. 729 following. 28,655 followers.

We have to stop waking up like this.

18 March 2014 Friedrice Nietzsche @TinyNietzsche [^139.18] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/445861056938647552 Bio and stats on 22 March 2014: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 18,169 tweets. 755 following. 31,962 followers.

You know it's gonna be a rough day when your coworker says "Are you ok? You look like hell."

11 January 2013 Brandy Mai ‏@maibrandy [^139.19] https://twitter.com/maibrandy/status/289935106129424385 Her bio: Louisiana girl who transplanted to Savannah; former Army journalist who loves running, Saints, military, veterans and all things patriotic. Location: Savannah · http://www.brandymai.com - 1,633 tweets. 1,027 following. 575 followers.

Not worried about going to work with a black eye.

These men aren't observant.

Sometimes they think I'm the woman who worked there before me.

5 February 2013 Kay Morgan @KayM77 [^139.20] https://twitter.com/KayM77/status/298749035458723840 Her bio and stats on 14 March 2013: I'm on Twitter. 18,872 tweets. 248 following. 1,615 followers.

"Please stop crying and calm down, you're scaring me." ~ is what my boss says to me at 9.05 on a Monday morning.

Monday 23 July 2012 Julz Millar ‏@DONTJIMMYMEJULZ [^139.21] https://twitter.com/dontjimmymejulz/status/227338737116409856 His bio: A small voice in a loud choir - but I carry a big stick and they're a bunch of frock-wearing girly boys so... 6,423 tweets. 8,159 following. 7,991 followers.

A sincere, warm greeting sets the tone of the conversation and often the entire day.

15 August 2011 Brian Layer @brianlayer [^139.22] https://twitter.com/#!/brianlayer/status/103100035859881984 At the time, Brian Layer was a U.S. Army Brigadier General. His bio and stats on 17 March 2013: Retired Army leader and founding member of Layer 55 Consulting believes smart, courageous, and selfless leadership is the answer to our hardest problems. Location: Moline, Illinois. 421 tweets. 145 following. 154 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 8 February 2014: Brigadier General US Army (Retired) | Chair, Organizational Development at N2Growth | Advisor to Fortune 500 CEOs and Boards | Husband & Father. Location: Moline, Illinois · N2Growth.com - 669 tweets. 213 following. 682 followers.

another gorgeous day lets get out there and screw it up everybody chop chop

13 November 2012 lauren ashley bishop ‏@sbellelauren [^139.23] https://twitter.com/sbellelauren/status/268372550210441216 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: i'm a comedian from arkansas. i live in LA. but i comede all over. witstream.com please & thank you. www.favstar.fm/users/sbellelauren - Location: hollywood · http://laurenashleybishop.tumblr.com/ - 9,411 tweets. 986 following. 31,379 followers.

Current Status:

Just talked to my cat for 45 mins about me going to work for 5 hours and will return as soon as possible.

10 May 2012 ɱissy @XoMiSsYoX [^139.24] https://twitter.com/xomissyox/status/200714374430728192 Her bio and stats on 7 March 2013: I drink too much, talk too loud and laugh at inappropriate times. Recently, I was called a cunt and I liked it. Location: Trapped in Ohio · http://favstar.fm/users/XoMiSsYoX/recent - 23,929 tweets. 601 following. 3,711 followers.

I'm late to work next week.

7 February 2012 Sputnik Sweetheart @Verlieren [^139.25] https://twitter.com/#!/Verlieren/status/166903763985113088 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: Creator of Google, previously psychotic person. Not to make you fall in love with me but I probably don't have AIDS. http://tinyurl.com/verinstagram - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001856/ - 11,012 tweets. 548 following. 14,712 followers.

If you're late to work, but everyone else is even later then you really aren't late at all.

22 November 2011 bee @dosesofneurosis [^139.26] https://twitter.com/#!/dosesofneurosis/status/138978120870019072 No account with this ID found on 7 April 2013.

My boss is cool with me coming in late because he does too. The first rule of The Late Club is that... I guess we never got round to that.

11 May 2009 Lisa Rahmat @lisarahmat [^139.27] on Favrd. URL lost. Her Twitter bio and stats on 25 February 2013: Crazy panda lady who likes looking out windows and things. Location: Singapore · lisarahmat.tumblr.com - 2,341 tweets. 255 following. 3,643 followers.

I'm destined for lateness.

4 December 2013 Jandalize ‏@Jandalize [^139.28] https://twitter.com/Jandalize/status/408231815900446720 Bio and stats on 7 December 2013: Big nosed woman (Made you look). Location: Good ole North Carolina ~ USA · favstar.fm/users/Jandalize - 10,444 tweets. 7,941 following. 12,902 followers.

Top tip: don't check into twitter in the morning.

You'll be late for work and people will shout at you.

26 January 2012 Token_smile ‏@Bashfullsmile [^139.29] https://twitter.com/bashfullsmile/status/162504962201497600 No bio on 17 November 2012, only: http://favstar.fm/users/Bashfullsmile/recent - 27,954 tweets. 1,578 following. 3,637 followers.

Boss: Late again?

Me: Is that a question?

B: Rhetorical..

Me: Mine too.

4 October 2012 Teewee ‏@Wussawilla [^139.30] https://twitter.com/Wussawilla/status/253840353403219968 Her bio and stats on 6 October 2012: Sometimes while sleeping, I dream of being real.. Location: The Center · http://favstar.fm/users/Wussawilla - 24,023 tweets. 2,942 following. 6,843 followers.

Confirmed: if you wake up at 0643, you can shave, throw on your uniform, and run to a 0700 formation.

7:32 a.m. EDT, Wednesday, 30 January 2013 Tim Mathews ‏@timmathews [^139.31] https://twitter.com/timmathews/status/296596709314801664 Army JAG; ME native; former Infantry Officer. Interests: US NatSec, IHL, Islamic law, MENA/central Asia, and related stuff. Opinions are mine, not the Army's. Location: Virginia · afghanistan-analyst.org/afghan-law/ - 2,671 tweets. 318 following. 2,164 followers.

I really do like my job, I just wish I only had to get there at like 11am.

22 May 2012 Justine Nienaber ‏@punkystarfish [^139.32] https://twitter.com/punkystarfish/status/205153731707281409 Her bio and stats on 28 November 2012: I tweet it up like Tweety bird | Social Media Gal @Talooma | Digital Guru in Training |Zimbabwean | Taller than you | Loves Pandas | Favourite time is 12:34. Location: I swam here from Zimbabwe · http://www.justinejoyit.co.za - 12,690 tweets. 507 following. 1,042 followers.

Nope, still not a morning person.

9 December 2012 Hormonella, damn it! ‏@Hormonella [^139.33] https://twitter.com/Hormonella/status/277765146712109056 Her bio and stats on 10 December 2012: My body is not my temple. It's more like my bar and grill. Location: Stepford · http://favstar.fm/users/Hormonella/recent - 33,857 tweets. 17,421 following. 20,118 followers.

I have yet to meet anyone who describes themselves as a morning person but that isn't a complete asshole.

21 May 2013 Just Lee ‏@Just_Lee_ [^139.34] https://twitter.com/Just_Lee_/status/337076913115914241 Her bio: I have Twitter Tourette Syndrome. Its a real thing. And its incurable. So fuck it IG: Just_Lee_ - favstar.fm/users/Just_Lee_/recent - 32,129 tweets. 1,237 following. 17,722 followers. Her bio and stats on 15 April 2014: Lets not make this personal. 781 tweets. 487 following. 2,306 followers.

• • • • •

there's a reason why dead is in deadline

3 April 2012 Rez ‏@ragazzel [^139.35] https://twitter.com/ragazzel/status/187428547521032193 Her bio and stats on 29 April 2013: A happy monkey stuck in a human suit, raised by the sea. Location: Egypt. 1,870 tweets. 404 following. 1,081 followers.

Death is the only true deadline.

26 October 2011 Donni Saphire @donni [^139.36] https://twitter.com/#!/donni/status/129429535480483840 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Comedy sand wedge. Writer, performer, fledgling opener, packet submitter. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Sea cows probably never see cows. Location: Chicago City Of Wind · http://qr.net/donni - 9,640 tweets. 839 following. 25,773 followers.

@___ **I'm too pretty for deadlines.**

9 January 2012 https://twitter.com/#!/aem76us/status/156359975898320896 Recipient's ID omitted.

If you can set a deadline for me, I can miss it.

26 October 2011 Shira @shiraselko [^139.37] https://twitter.com/#!/shiraselko/status/129383826328788993 Her Twitter bio and stats on 7 June 2013: Improviser. 5'1. Pittsburgh sports fan. Opprobrious. Contributor to WitStream. Location: Hoboken, NJ · http://witstream.com/#shira_selkovits - 8,204 tweets. 821 following. 9,188 followers.

Truthful Tuesday. I'm a procrastinator.

Wednesday, 5 September 2012 Jimmer Cork-Bottle ‏@JimmerThatisAll [^139.38] https://twitter.com/JimmerThatisAll/status/243521305436106753 Bio and stats the next day: From the twelve winded sky. That photo is older than you are. We're in this together. Location: Corktown. 28,792 tweets. 2,794 following. 3,076 followers. Underlining added.

I think I've got an enlarged procrastinate.

18 December 2011 Tech Pirate ‏@tech_pirate [^139.39] https://twitter.com/tech_pirate/status/148516368034172930 His Twitter bio and stats on 16 October 2013: Just your basic North Carolina pirate. http://favstar.fm/users/tech_pirate - 16,697 tweets. 6,665 following. 9,800 followers.

I put the pro in procrastination

27 November 2013 The Bad Doctor ‏@doctoratlarge [^139.40] https://twitter.com/doctoratlarge/status/405682175829237761 Bio: Offense is like tension - it is always to be given, never to be taken. doctoratlarge.wordpress.com - 47,217 tweets. 319 following. 29,260 followers.

I can't even think about procrastinating today. Not again.

29 September 2012 Clearly's Sister ‏@ClearlysSister [^139.41] https://twitter.com/ClearlysSister/status/251965553617559552 Her bio and stats on 5 October 2012: Over the rainbow. 60 tweets. 99 following. 247 followers. Her ID relates to Clearly Unwell @ClearlyUnwell, whose metrics on 5 October 2012 were: 5,249 tweets. 724 following. 7,460 followers. She was retweeting content from Clearly's Stalker @Clearlysstalker, who wrote as a man and whose metrics on 5 October 2012 were: 46 tweets. 191 following. 69 followers.

Settle down, everybody using the word ASAP.

10 August 2012 bombscribe ‏@bombscribe [^139.42] https://twitter.com/bombscribe/status/234012775050014721 Bio: I write stuff and things. Location: CA. 3,521 tweets. 798 following. 2,691 followers. ASAP = as soon as possible.

The reason nerds are bad at schedules is because once we've built it in our minds, we think we're done.

26 June 2009 rands @rands [^139.43] https://twitter.com/#!/rands/status/2346988060 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 8,540 tweets. 499 following. 27,448 followers.

When you say "Soon," I hear "I don't know when."

17 September 2012 rands ‏@rands [^139.44] https://twitter.com/rands/status/247686950448943104 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 8,540 tweets. 499 following. 27,448 followers.

When I say "I'm working on it", it's time you look for someone else to do it for you.

5 December 2012 Muath ‏@Muath_tu [^139.45] https://twitter.com/Muath_tu/status/276404945207574528 His location and stats on 8 December 2012: Saudi Arabia - Jeddah · http://favstar.fm/users/Muath_tu/recent - 5,671 tweets. 488 following. 6,523 followers. No Twitter account with this ID found on 7 August 2013.

Objects in calendar are closer than they appear.

2 September 2009 @pathways [^139.46] on Identi.ca. Identical screen name on Twitter. URL lost. On 16 October 2013 his Twitter account was found to have experienced a change of control. The account's screen name, ID, bio and stats on 16 October 2013: Pathways @Pathways - In the fast-paced world of IT, you don't always have the luxury to learn as you go. Engaging Pathways Consulting can expedite a positive IT transformation. pathwayscg.com. 3 tweets. 0 following. 2 followers.

I didn't meet my deadline, but time is an imaginary concept so.

18 July 2012 Aparna Nancherla ‏@aparnapkin [^139.47] https://twitter.com/aparnapkin/status/225668749959757824 Her bio and stats on 21 November 2012: I am a scrunched up napkin with recyclable dreams. Also a comedian in some cultures. Total drag in others. Location: NY/LA sidewalk nook · http://www.aparnacomedy.com - 3,816 tweets. 1,381 following. 17,864 followers.

that point in your work life when being on time makes you feel like a tool

19 January 2012 Ms. Spalanzani @rejecter [^139.48] https://twitter.com/#!/rejecter/status/160243763556532224 Her bio and stats on 19 December 2012: Commie hoochie trollop. Subterfugitive. 17,014 tweets. 267 following. 4,547 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 24 September 2013: She can read, she can read, she can read, she's bad. Location: Västerås. 19,573 tweets. 300 following. 4,400 followers.

I can't wait to get to work.

Wow.

My relationship problems have made me the perfect employee.

5 July 2012 Veronica ‏@RoniGrace - https://twitter.com/RoniGrace/status/220819721220653057 Bio and stats on 7 July 2012: I've started an empire; it may or may not be evil. I write stories. Some of them are erotic. 39,974 tweets. 1,366 following. 4,261 followers. Twittercided and returned on 17 July 2012 as Veronica Grace ‏@ronigrace [^139.49]. On 7 August 2013 her second account (@ronigrace) was found to have been abandoned and the ID taken over by someone else.

Bosses are such annoying and unpredictable alarm clocks.

12 September 2011 This Charming Man @Ch8rming [^139.50] https://twitter.com/#!/Ch8rming/status/113381543761805313 Twitter bio and stats on 19 June 2013: After all these years, my wife still calls me charming. She just says it with more sarcasm and disdain. Location: Couch, car, or cubicle · favstar.fm/users/Ch8rming - 3,247 tweets. 1,114 following. 3,773 followers.

Boss: You're late again.

Me: Sorry car problems.

Boss: What happened?

Me: My car didn't go at 300 mph when I wanted it to.

7 November 2011 I am Lana @FlirtyLana [^139.51] https://twitter.com/#!/FlirtyLana/status/133630008911597570 On 31 July 2013 her Twitter account was found to have been disabled, with this screen name (no bio) and stats: FlirtyLana @FlirtyLana - 0 tweets. 0 following. 0 followers.

Are we sure we want to do this? ~Me to my car before going to work.

18 July 2012 Rusty ‏@peaceintruth1 [^139.52] https://twitter.com/peaceintruth1/status/225529679984074753 Bio and stats on 13 January 2013: Owned by 2 dogs, professional bullshitter, mixer of words, and tells it like it is. Location: North America · http://favstar.fm/users/peaceintruth1/recent - 18,830 tweets. 1,790 following. 6,992 followers.

Of course I arrive 2 hours late to a desi wedding and it hasn't started yet....

8 July 2012 Nusaybah. ‏@simplynusi - https://twitter.com/simplynusi/status/222126636915630080 Her Twitter bio and stats on 9 July 2012: Muslim | 19 | Egyptian | Taller than the average male | Hugs & Kittens | Lemon loving | Naïve | Overanalyzer | Twitter junkie | Dreamer | Aspiring Journalist | Location: Toronto, ON. 18,532 tweets. 255 following. 719 followers. Her Twitter ID, bio and stats on 4 May 2013: @moonlitdesert [^139.53] 20. Finding inspiration through writing, nature, observation, reflection, and most importantly, Islam. Location: Toronto. 23,933 tweets. 183 following. 1,240 followers. Anyone who has ever had to wait for the start of an Egyptian wedding may find this tweet ironic

Raja Rental was so excited to chair his first cabinet meeting that he arrived on time!

http://bit.ly/LfcyuQ

lovely detail (or smear)

26 June 2012 Rob Crilly ‏@robcrilly [^139.54] https://twitter.com/robcrilly/status/217844257187315713 His Twitter bio and stats on 22 October 2013: Pakistan and Afghanistan correspondent of The Telegraph, Africa-phile, author of Saving Darfur. Location: Islamabad · robcrilly.com - 24,809 tweets. 1,118 following. 17,270 followers.

The URL in the tweet points to:

"Raja chairs first cabinet meeting: Govt acts at last to ease power ordeal," by Khawar Ghumman, Dawn, 27 June 2012, http://dawn.com/2012/06/27/raja-chairs-first-cabinet-meeting-govt-acts-at-last-to-ease-power-ordeal/

Khawar Ghumman [^139.55] no Twitter ID identified on 22 October 2013. Possibly @gh_kp

Twitter bio and stats of Dawn Media Group @dawn_com [^139.56] on 10 November 2012: This is http://Dawn.com 's live Twitter feed, your window to latest news, analysis and features from Pakistan, South Asia and the world. Location: Pakistan · http://www.dawn.com - 28,823 tweets. 91 following. 26,982 followers.

Lede:

ISLAMABAD, June 26: Raja Pervez Ashraf chaired the first cabinet meeting on Tuesday since taking over as prime minister, setting for himself and his team a difficult task of streamlining the power sector and to enforce at-source deduction of electricity dues from all those federal and provincial government departments which default on payments.

Quote:

According to sources, Prime Minister Ashraf was so excited to chair his first cabinet meeting that he came to the Prime Minister Secretariat well on time. "The meeting was scheduled to start at 11am, but the prime minister reached the meeting hall at 10.55am. After waiting for half an hour for ministers to turn up, he opened the session," said an employee of the prime minister's office. He said the latecomers apologised and praised the prime minister for his punctuality.

Seven months later, the arrest of Prime Minister Ashraf on corruption charges was ordered by Pakistan's Supreme Court in this order that was issued on 15 January 2013 but not implemented:  http://www.supremecourt.gov.pk/web/user_files/File/CMA%20No.3685of2012-dt-15-1-2013.pdf

Observing punctuality is just another way of eating alone.

13 August 2012 Rameeza Nizami ‏@RameezaNizami [^139.57] https://twitter.com/RameezaNizami/status/235032326822846464 Her bio and stats on 12 November 2012: Unauthorized, unofficial, etc etc. This isn't even me, really. Location: In an office, most of the time. 5,010 tweets. 890 following. 3,331 followers. In Pakistan.

I'm only punctual because I enjoy the moral superiority.

15 December 2010 Josh S ‏@jorshuwah [^139.58] https://twitter.com/jorshuwah/status/15178600068161536 His bio and stats on 28 March 2013: favstar.fm/users/jorshuwah – Location: Sydney, Australia. · jorshuwah.tumblr.com - 2,254 tweets. 996 following. 1,909 followers.

I'm the kind of person who'll wait for 30 or more minutes and when asked if I've been waiting long, say "no no, not at all."

28 September 2012 Generous. ‏@akaHoezy [^139.59] https://twitter.com/akaHoezy/status/251639144718159872 His bio: An Egyptian/English Internet whore & music obsessed, football fanatic. I am @moeabdelwahab's lover. Check my music out: http://soundcloud.com/kareemhosem Location: Cairo, Egypt · http://icontrolthis.tumblr.com - 10,018 tweets. 348 following. 643 followers.

**I really hate how ppl have no respect for other people's time...waiting, waiting, waiting -** # **Bangladesh** # **SlowServiceSector**

6 October 2012 Shahana Siddiqui ‏@shahanasiddiqui [^139.60] https://twitter.com/shahanasiddiqui/status/254830418988244994 Her bio: Development practitioner. Social media junkie. Interested in urban, child rights, gender empowerment, knowledge management. Personal opinions here. Location: Bangladesh. 4,423 tweets. 526 following. 899 followers.

**There is nothing more requisite in business than dispatch**.

Joseph Addison, the Drummer, 1716.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  140. Coping and productivity

I am fascinated by failure as a concept

14 May 2013 JTM ‏@JacquesTristan [^140.1] https://twitter.com/JacquesTristan/status/334498611255730176 No Twitter bio on 24 May 2013, only these stats: 3,519 tweets. 120 following. 47 followers.

Failure can teach us more than success. This section begins with failures (some presented ironically) in order to draw lessons for success.

The best way to ensure you'll never fail, be ridiculed and mess up is to stay safely home, in bed, under the covers, all the time.

25 April 2013 Alain de Botton ‏@alaindebotton [^140.2] https://twitter.com/alaindebotton/status/327643643819196417 Bio and stats on 24 April 2013: Writer; most recently of 'Religion for Atheists'. Location: London · http://tinyurl.com/chcbro9 - 591 tweets. 4,586 following. 357,504 followers.

Fail faster so you can learn more.

15 October 2010 rands @rands [^140.3] https://twitter.com/#!/rands/status/27478225834 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 8,540 tweets. 499 following. 27,448 followers.

Love this quote : "Failing fast doesn't make succeeding easier"

29 April 2013 Osama A. Hashmi @BrewedThoughts [^140.4] https://twitter.com/BrewedThoughts/status/329073568791027712 His Twitter bio and stats on 29 May 2013: I think productivity is broken - all of it. And it can only be solved with better product design and new productivity theory. Location: Austin, TX · cdfsoftware.com - 285 tweets. 71 following. 221 followers.

Source of the quote: "If MBAs are useless, we're all in big trouble," by Todd Tauber, Quartz, 29 April 2013, http://qz.com/79042/if-mbas-are-obsolete-were-all-in-big-trouble/

Twitter ID bio and stats on 29 May 2013: Todd Tauber @toddtauber [^140.5] man of few, but pointed words + some numbers. mostly on education, media and technology. which is where i work. Location: nyc, usa · nomadic.fm - 719 tweets. 1,016 following. 523 followers.

Twitter bio and stats on 29 May 2013 of Quartz @qz [^140.6] Quartz is a new kind of global business news outlet. Location: The World · qz.com - 6,953 tweets. 49 following. 34,276 followers.

Todd Tauber said that the factors that make startups easier (cheap hosting, free software, low barriers to entry, viral marketing, etc.) can also make success harder because everyone has access to the same advantages. It is hard for startups to succeed, Tauber said, but it is also increasingly difficult for established companies to survive.

From Todd Tauber's article:

Two-thirds of new products launched by established firms fail within two years and only 9% of big businesses consistently grow faster than 5%. In fact, the average lifespan of S&P 500 companies is plummeting. It's now just 15 years. Now, it's only getting harder. It's getting harder because business is getting more complex. By 2020, as many as 60% of companies will be sourcing, producing and selling more in foreign markets than they do at home. That includes small ones. The global economy, meanwhile, has become permanently turbulent and hyper-competitive.

There are only Four Lessons for Mistakes:

1) Do it everyday,

2) Do it quickly,

3) Learn from them

4) Avoid repeating them.

22 October 2012 Jeremiah Owyang ‏@jowyang [^140.7] https://twitter.com/jowyang/status/260377220252594176 Bio: Industry Analyst, Partner at Altimeter Group. Some tweets publish on timer. How I use Twitter http://bit.ly/LK0i Location: Silicon Valley, CA http://web-strategist.com/blog - 36,075 tweets. 13,080 following. 114,379 followers. Bio and stats on 27 April 2015: Founder of http://CrowdCompanies.com @CrowdCompanies, and housemate to @goodboyrumba - Location: Silicon Valley, CA - web-strategist.com/blog - 57,709 tweets. 18,513 following. 161,010 followers.

**Great tip on decision-making: keep a journal of your decisions, the environment & how you felt at time you made them, then revu later.** #WEF

23 January 2013 Bill Gross ‏@Bill_Gross [^140.8] https://twitter.com/Bill_Gross/status/294093570351198210 His Twitter bio and stats on 29 May 2013: Founder of Technology Incubator Idealab and 100 companies in last 30 years. Tweeting while on my quest for learning in life and at conferences. Location: Pasadena, CA · BillGross.com - 11,571 tweets. 631 following. 97,358 followers. The hashtag #WEF was for the World Economic Forum in Davos. revu = review.

honestly, i have no clue why companies don't put more value in business modellers compared to all sorts of managers.

6 December 2011 Zarko Hristovski @zarkoh [^140.9] https://twitter.com/#!/zarkoh/status/144008003211886592 His Twitter bio and stats on 25 October 2013: holding a finger in the walls of telenor hq / comoyo. tweeting in my own and in the name of the holy spirit. Location: Oslo. 3,978 tweets. 909 following. 539 followers. His bio and stats on 9 December 2013: Senior Developer at Timegrip. Location: Oslo. 4,125 tweets. 936 following. 547 followers.

I might as well arrange things so I enjoy my work. I am going to be doing it for a very long time.

15 November 2012 Samantha Lasko ‏@samanthalasko [^140.10] https://twitter.com/samanthalasko/status/269052094894465026 Her bio and stats on 15 November 2012: Just having fun! 520 tweets. 2,194 following. 2,006 followers.

Been terribly efficient today. I feel quite ill.

11 September 2012 Rameeza Nizami ‏@RameezaNizami [^140.11] https://twitter.com/RameezaNizami/status/245642631034585089 Her bio and stats on 12 November 2012: Unauthorized, unofficial, etc etc. This isn't even me, really. Location: In an office, most of the time. 5,010 tweets. 890 following. 3,331 followers.

You can't spell productivity without ducks.

I didn't think this one through.

5 October 2010 Bailey Siewert @bailey [^140.12] https://twitter.com/#!/bailey/status/26511238588 Twitter bio and stats on 25 October 2013: I am very opinionated when it comes to murals. Location: San Francisco, CA · bailey.tumblr.com. 5,624 tweets. 267 following. 5,623 followers.

It's utterly amazing that in this day and age, the #1 gut reaction to problems by most businesses is still the same: cut costs.

4 December 2013 Sami Mäkeläinen ‏@smakelainen [^140.13] https://twitter.com/smakelainen/status/408434380764237824 His bio: Mobile, sustainability & innovation specialist by day, generalist at heart. I think it'd be nice to leave a planet worth living in for those who come after us. Location: Melbourne, Australia · linkedin.com/in/smakelainen - 7,067 tweets. 519 following. 510 followers.

Practice economy at any cost.

Pre-dates the rise of the Internet. Original source not found.

The new hires love to complain about not having a color printer in the office until they see we only have black & white computer monitors.

15 December 2010 Katie L @SheBanggs [^140.14] https://twitter.com/#!/SheBanggs/status/15210415638183936 Her bio and stats on 29 May 2013: That's me in the corner. I kiss like a fish, but never cry like a lover. Location: On The Street Where You Live · favstar.fm/users/SheBanggs - 3,421 tweets. 867 following. 13,159 followers.

**CEO reports record earnings & profits for the 30th consecutive quarter. Staff still using Office 97 & 8 y/o Blackberrys** #officebastilleday

14 July 2011 The Office Prick @theofficeprick [^140.15] https://twitter.com/#!/theofficeprick/status/91592532340916224 Twitter bio and stats on 26 October 2013: Documenting and chronicling the daily actions of The Office Prick. Yes, these are true. 112 tweets. 48 following. 61 followers. On 26 October 2013, this account's most recent tweet was dated 13 January 2012.

Windows XP support is going away but that's ok because only banks, hospitals, doctors, ATMs, and airports are still using it. It's all good.

5 February 2014 Lowell Heddings ‏@howtogeek [^140.16] https://twitter.com/howtogeek/status/431278710985994240 Bio and stats on 26 February 2014: I'm that How-To Geek guy. Location: Virginia, USA · howtogeek.com – 10,019 tweets. 210 following. 29,072 followers. March 2014 was the last month that Microsoft supported Windows XP and Office 2003.

Support had included updates to fix security vulnerabilities. Microsoft Windows XP continued to be sold until about three years before support for it was terminated.

OH from a new hire: Alright guys, enough hazing, where's the *real* codebase?

19 February 2014 Kevin Owocki ‏@owocki [^140.17] https://twitter.com/owocki/status/436280810652459008 Twitter bio and stats on 26 February 2014: i spin bits for fun & profit -- watch out for my megabyte. Location: boulder, co · owocki.com - 6,716 tweets. 415 following. 1,409 followers.

Dinosaurs died out because they insisted on using internet explorer.

20 January 2011 Pax Paxochka ‏@Paxochka [^140.18] https://twitter.com/#!/Paxochka/status/28212341929676800 Her bio and stats on 24 October 2012: Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch'entrate. Location: Down Under · http://paxochka.tumblr.com/explainingfavstar - 57,522 tweets. 4,796 following. 18,932 followers.

• • • • •

What we got here is a failure to caffeinate...

16 April 2010 Jenn @isleofjenn [^140.19] http://twitter.com/isleofjenn/status/12279606142 Twitter bio and stats on 26 October 2013, when this tweet was found to have been deleted: I like to bathe in coffee. 967 tweets. 231 following. 1,109 followers. On 26 October 2013 her most recent tweet was dated 9 February 2011.

No talkie before coffee!!

21 January 2012 Justina ‏@JEllis1313 [^140.20] https://twitter.com/#!/JEllis1313/status/160749278619373569 Her Twitter bio and stats on 21 July 2013: All dressed up with some medicine for luck! BlackRock. Location: 'Cuse, NY · favstar.fm/users/JEllis1313 - 39,163 tweets. 2,383 following. 2,537 followers.

Work Donut Lifecycle:

1. Eat donut - 60 sec.

2. Bounce knee – 15 min.

3. Be productive – 10 min.

4. Pass out at desk – 45 min.

5. Repeat.

24 June 2011 Joel Ingersoll @FlyoverJoel [^140.21] https://twitter.com/#!/FlyoverJoel/status/84241497117048833 His bio and stats on 10 December 2012: I get up and I put on pants. Location: Saint Paul, MN · http://favstar.fm/users/FlyoverJoel/most_retweeted - 9,975 tweets. 540 following. 6,314 followers.

A murder of crows.

A gaggle of geese.

A dare of donuts.

30 April 2011 matt @biorhythmist [^140.22] https://twitter.com/#!/biorhythmist/status/64228966986289152 His bio and stats on 15 March 2013: twitter user. Location: San Francisco · http://about.me/biorhythmist - 11,340 tweets. 583 following. 34,621 followers.

Sound advice from the @FreedomWorks office. I like their style.

pic.twitter.com/2ZfxMOTJ

21 June 2012 Gene Healy ‏@GeneHealy [^140.23] https://twitter.com/GeneHealy/status/215975477276459009 His Twitter bio and stats on 26 October 2013: Buy my new ebook, False Idol: http://www.amazon.com/False-Idol-Continuing-Presidency-ebook/dp/B009RUR0NO/ref=zg_bs_157487011_6 – Location: Hollywood for the Ugly · http://washingtonexaminer.com/author/gene-healy - 2,688 tweets. 687 following. 2,645 followers.

FreedomWorks @FreedomWorks [^140.24] Twitter bio and stats on 26 October 2013: Lower Taxes, Less Government, More Freedom! Educating and equipping a grassroots army for liberty. #tcot #tlot – Location: Washington, DC · FreedomWorks.org \- 25,098 tweets. 22,488 following. 149,490 followers.

Gene Healy's photograph shows these three signs, posted on the wall in FreedomWorks' office, adjacent to a printer:

Nothing good comes from hitting reply all.

Think before printing.

Stop tweeting boring shit.

Very likely the only time I'll agree strongly with FreedomWorks.

21 June 2012 Brooke Jarvis ‏@brookejarvis [^140.25] https://twitter.com/brookejarvis/status/216047910993928192 Her bio and stats on 18 November 2012: Freelance journalist (Atlantic, Grist, Sierra...), editor/consultant (Planetary), contributing ed (YES! Magazine). Currently of the Puget Sound. Location: Seattle, WA · http://brookejarvis.info - 10,584 tweets. 1,430 following. 4,946 followers. Posted after retweeting Gene Healy above.

Apparently, will power means nothing.

It's habits, good habits, bad habits, habits.

Things we do on an everyday basis that define us.

13 October 2013 Aditi Mittal ‏@awryaditi [^140.26] https://twitter.com/awryaditi/status/389420788769517568 Her Twitter bio and stats on 17 October 2013: A-blah Nari. Run Time: 26 yrs| Genre: Comedy| Warning: Some scenes may be unsuitable for minors|Halfway to the gutter and the stars. Location: Mumbai · about.me/admit - 31,600 tweets. 1,755 following. 17,264 followers.

Fast Company: Successful people don't check email first thing in the morning

[link]

23 August 2012 Jeremiah Owyang ‏@jowyang [^140.27] https://twitter.com/jowyang/status/238548729169338370 His bio and stats on 18 November 2012: Industry Analyst, Partner at Altimeter Group. Some tweets publish on timer. How I use Twitter http://bit.ly/LK0i - Location: Silicon Valley, CA · http://web-strategist.com/blog - 36,460 tweets. 13,132 following. 115,905 followers. Bio and stats on 27 April 2015: Founder of http://CrowdCompanies.com @CrowdCompanies, and housemate to @goodboyrumba - Location: Silicon Valley, CA - web-strategist.com/blog - 57,709 tweets. 18,513 following. 161,010 followers.

Points to:

"What Successful People Do With The First Hour Of Their Work Day," by Kevin Purdy, Fast Company, 22 August 2012,  http://www.fastcompany.com/3000619/what-successful-people-do-first-hour-their-work-day

Twitter bio and stats on 22 May 2013 of Kevin Purdy @kevinpurdy [^140.28] "Doesn't smile. Never offers ketchup." - Burger King manager, Baldwinsville, NY, 1999. More: http://thepurdman.com/about - Location: Buffalo, NY · thepurdman.com - 9,105 tweets. 639 following. 9,851 followers.

Twitter bio and stats on 6 April 2013 of Fast Company @FastCompany [^140.29] Official Twitter feed for the Fast Company business media brand; inspiring readers to think beyond traditional boundaries & create the future of business. Location: New York, NY - http://www.fastcompany.com - 47,367 tweets. 3,729 following. 707,120 followers.

Kevin Purdy found that successful people often take on big tasks at the start of their day, tasks that require concentration and sustained mental effort.

Multi-tasking means you don't care about at least one thing you're doing.

28 May 2009 rands @rands [^140.30] https://twitter.com/#!/rands/status/1949966933 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 8,540 tweets. 499 following. 27,448 followers.

"Multi-tasking" is just another word for not paying attention.

7 November 2013 CrankyPappy ‏@CrankyPappy [^140.31] https://twitter.com/CrankyPappy/status/398407458126712833 Bio: Broke, broken, broken-up, broken-down & broken-hearted. Still, I need a break. Aroma: whisky, pipe-tobacco & despair. Everybody's somebody or nobody's anybody. Location: We're all here, alone together · http://favstar.fm/users/crankypappy - 23,387 tweets. 47,223 following. 54,950 followers.

You say, "I'm great at multitasking."

I hear, "Delusion's made my carelessness scalable."

14 October 2009 Merlin Mann @hotdogsladies [^140.32] https://twitter.com/hotdogsladies/status/4864217011 His bio and stats on 10 January 2013: Riding out tonight to case the promised land. Location: San Francisco, Calif. · http://www.merlinmann.com - 13,880 tweets. 463 following. 254,515 followers.

Baking isn't hard if you don't care how it turns out.

7 July 2012 A. Mitchell @aem76us https://identi.ca/notice/95215910 - https://twitter.com/aem76us/status/221506511816507393 This phrase did not turn up in Google Search results on that date nor on 24 February 2014 in Bing and DuckDuckGo. Google Search was blocked by Google on that later date and again on 26 August 2014.

Hey this fortune-cookie actually has great advice: "Great things are accomplished only by the perfection of minor details"

22 April 2013 Osama A. Hashmi @BrewedThoughts [^140.33] https://twitter.com/BrewedThoughts/status/326511387058786304 His Twitter bio and stats on 29 May 2013: I think productivity is broken - all of it. And it can only be solved with better product design and new productivity theory. Location: Austin, TX · cdfsoftware.com - 285 tweets. 71 following. 221 followers.

In the _circle theory of business_ , there is a focus on building a narrow, core product or service-offering first. This core product or service is imagined within a small circle in the center of a diagram or page. Only after this product or service is successfully delivered can the focus expand to possibly include another product, service, market or vertical, which is pictured within a new, larger circle, ringing the outside of the original one. This process can be repeated with additional circles. The _circle theory of business_ is meant to discourage distractions, a lack of focus, and premature pivots, especially within startups. It is widely ignored.

When you keep adding features, it means you don't know what you're building.

15 June 2009 rands @rands [^140.34] https://twitter.com/#!/rands/status/2178790995 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 8,540 tweets. 499 following. 27,448 followers.

Finish what you start, meet your commitments, and don't make it complicated.

20 May 2013 rands ‏@rands [^140.35] https://twitter.com/rands/status/336647474020225025 Bio and stats on 22 May 2013: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 9,084 tweets. 545 following. 30,267 followers.

" **The secret to mastering your time is to systematically focus on importance and suppress urgency**."

http://j.mp/WNgYjP

2 February 2013 Maria Popova ‏@brainpicker [^140.36] https://twitter.com/brainpicker/status/297877334898397185 Her bio: Interestingness hunter-gatherer obsessed with combinatorial creativity. Editor of @brainpickings & @explorer. Bylines for @WiredUK & @TheAtlantic. MIT Fellow. Location: Brooklyn, NY · http://brainpickings.org - 63,500 tweets. 319 following. 300,078 followers.

The URL in Maria Popova's tweet points to a page on her website [http://explore.noodle.org/post/42142258356/the-secret-to-mastering-your-time-is-to]. The page features the quote but no citation information except a link to an intermediate page [http://www.swiss-miss.com/2013/02/how-to-master-your-time.html]. The intermediate page was created by Tina Roth Eisenberg @swissmiss. The page credits Oliver Emberton and points to:

"How to master your time - The secret to time management is simple: Jedi time tricks," by Oliver Emberton, Quora, 26 January 2013, http://abetterlife.quora.com/How-to-master-your-time-1

Oliver Emberton @oliveremberton [^140.37] Twitter bio and stats on 2 February 2013: Founder of @silktide, author-in-training, challenge addict, dancer, pianist, programmer, artist and general busy bee. Location: Derby, UK · http://oliveremberton.com/ - 2,213 tweets. 297 following. 781 followers.

Quora @Quora [^140.38] Twitter bio and stats on 28 October 2013: Quora is your best source of knowledge. Location: Mountain View, CA · quora.com - 10,956 tweets. 28 following. 58,178 followers.

Tina Roth Eisenberg @swissmiss [^140.39] Twitter bio and stats on 28 October 2013: I am a Swiss designer gone NYC. The internet makes me happy! I created @teuxdeux, @creativemorning, @studiomates and @tattly. Location: Brooklyn, NY · swiss-miss.com - 20,520 tweets. 1,003 following. 368,588 followers.

Throw away the "to do" list.

**Start a "** _stop doing_ **" list.**

23 March 2011 K.Sahasranaman @chemingineer [^140.40] https://twitter.com/#!/chemingineer/status/50388435189510144 His Twitter bio and stats on 26 October 2013: Process Engineer, Curious like a child, Always positive, Too many interests, Coffee addict, Nature lover. Do what I love and love what I do. Location: Mumbai / Pune, India · taxidiarist.blogspot.in - 48,621 tweets. 287 following. 941 followers. Italics added.

People who are easily distracted and who are the least well organized are often the most talented and creative. They may work best in private offices rather than large shared spaces. Check-ins by supervisors can help them focus.

I could probably condense my 14 hour working day into about 27 minutes if I just switched the fucking internet off.

6 July 2011 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^140.41] https://twitter.com/#!/Schmoodles/status/88837639674933248 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

I've gotten more work done in last 30 mins than last several hours. All because of the right music

28 March 2012 Osama A. Hashmi @BrewedThoughts [^140.42] https://twitter.com/BrewedThoughts/status/184958001453596673 His Twitter bio and stats on 29 May 2013: I think productivity is broken - all of it. And it can only be solved with better product design and new productivity theory. Location: Austin, TX · cdfsoftware.com - 285 tweets. 71 following. 221 followers.

overheard at MoH mtg: if you don't count it, it can't be a priority.

10 October 2011 Alanna Shaikh @ @alanna_shaikh [^140.43] https://twitter.com/#!/alanna_shaikh/status/123362132791267328 Twitter bio and stats on 29 October 2013: Global Health/Int'l Development writer, thinker, & doer. Optimist & skeptic. Sr. TED fellow, USAID PSC, mom of 2 boys. Tweets my opinion only & not USG policy. alannashaikh.com. 17,689 tweets. 403 following. 10,952 followers. MoH = may refer to ministry of health. She was in Central Asia at the time.

**Twitter had 160 users after 9 months, but per user engagement is high. Don't use vanity metrics as reason to pivot** @ericries #lsmnyc

1 April 2011 Mariya @thinkmariya [^140.44] https://twitter.com/#!/thinkmariya/status/53967790108975104 Twitter bio and stats on 21 September 2013: Mobile designer, nerdy generalist, maker of lovable stuff, and purveyor of fine lifehacks. Obsessed with startups, data, design, dance and adventure. Location: Cali · about.me/mariyayao. 8,172 tweets. 951 following. 2,472 followers.

Pivot was a popular buzzword that year among executives striving to distinguish themselves with bold moves that radically alter the direction of a project or organization. Pivoting can be unnecessary and destructive.

" **To achieve maximum return on investment going forward, marketing must be deeply embedded into actual product development** " @Sheldrake #look

15 May 2011 Justin Hayward @justinhayward [^140.45] https://twitter.com/#!/justinhayward/status/69862856488779776 Twitter bio and stats on 21 September 2013: Looking after business development and communications for Telnic Limited, the Registry for the award-winning communications-focused .tel - Location: Central London / Brighton · justin.tel - 6,005 tweets. 855 following. 1,790 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 8 October 2014: Author [The Luck Particle], Actor [Cockneys vs Zombies, Still Life, Strangers Within, Obsessions: Dark Desires], storyteller, content generator, FRSA

Location: Brighton. justinhayward.tel - 6,680 tweets. 1,076 following. 1,860 followers.

Justin Hayward quotes Philip Sheldrake @Sheldrake [^140.46]. Twitter bio and stats on 21 September 2013 for Philip Sheldrake @Sheldrake - Managing Partner, @eulerpartners. Author, Attenzi - a social business story, and The Business of Influence. Engineer. Main Board Director of Intellect. Location: London · eulerpartners.com. 6,838 tweets. 1,038 following. 3,736 followers.

The Apple store in central London is sited among fashion stores. This is not an accident.

20 September 2013 Martin Geddes ‏@martingeddes [^140.47] https://twitter.com/martingeddes/status/380949868703150080 His Twitter bio and stats on 21 September 2013: Telecoms strategy consultant with special interests in network performance engineering, polyservice networks, and hypervoice technology. Location: London · martingeddes.com. 12,181 tweets. 1,728 following. 2,535 followers. This tweet prompted a debate about Apple products.

Someone needs to make a kettle that changes the way we all think about boiling water.

2 November 2011 AspersionCast @Aspersioncast [^140.48] https://twitter.com/#!/Aspersioncast/status/131629746109943808 His bio and stats on 21 November 2012: It's always a pleasure to meet someone with no sense of humour, then when I fuck with their head, it's unbelievably satisfying. Location: Perth Australia. · http://favstar.fm/users/AspersionCast/recent - 18,059 tweets. 17,901 following. 22,264 followers.

AspersionCast reinvents a description applied to Steve Jobs – that he changed the way we think about technology. Albert Einstein and Erving Goffman changed the way we think about physics and the micro-sociology of face-to-face interactions, respectively. Besides a kettle, what other opportunities for innovation exist today?

" **You want to be innovating so fast that you invalidate your prior patents... It's the velocity of innovation that matters.** " ~ **Elon Musk**

#amen

14 June 2014 Stafford Masie ‏@staffordmasie [^140.49] https://twitter.com/staffordmasie/status/477727690766958593 Bio: Tech Startup Entrepreneur, geek, private pilot, ultralite pilot, scuba diver, snow skier, & luvs disruptive anything...(thumbzup Founder). Location: Johannesburg. thumbzup.com - 10,432 tweets. 400 following. 10,153 followers.

Elon Musk @elonmusk [^140.50 and ^140.51 for blog post below] Twitter bio and stats on 14 June 2014: Tesla, SpaceX, SolarCity & PayPal. Location: 1 AU. 964 tweets. 36 following. 720,352 followers.

Tesla Motors @TeslaMotors [^140.52 for blog post below] Twitter bio and stats on 14 June 2014: The official twitter account of Tesla Motors, maker of the Model S sedan and Tesla Roadster. Accelerating the world's transition to electric mobility. Location: Palo Alto, California. teslamotors.com - Tweets 4,486 tweets. 230 following. 270,644 followers.

Related post: "All Our Patent Are Belong To You," by Elon Musk, Tesla Motors blog, 12 June 2014,  http://www.teslamotors.com/blog/all-our-patent-are-belong-you The title of the blog post plays on the phrase: "All your base are belong to us," from an opening scene of the video game Zero Wing by Toaplan. The phrase is a botched translation from the original Japanese version of Toaplan's game. The English version of Zero Wing was released by Sega in 1991 for the Sega Genesis game console, also known as the Mega Drive console. The Sega version contained the phrase, "All your base are belong to us."

Two-paragraph lede:

Yesterday, there was a wall of Tesla patents in the lobby of our Palo Alto headquarters. That is no longer the case. They have been removed, in the spirit of the open source movement, for the advancement of electric vehicle technology.

Tesla Motors was created to accelerate the advent of sustainable transport. If we clear a path to the creation of compelling electric vehicles, but then lay intellectual property landmines behind us to inhibit others, we are acting in a manner contrary to that goal. Tesla will not initiate patent lawsuits against anyone who, in good faith, wants to use our technology.

Conclusion:

Technology leadership is not defined by patents, which history has repeatedly shown to be small protection indeed against a determined competitor, but rather by the ability of a company to attract and motivate the world's most talented engineers. We believe that applying the open source philosophy to our patents will strengthen rather than diminish Tesla's position in this regard.

I don't care that they stole my idea .... I care that they don't have any of their own. ~ Nikola Tesla

13 August 2014 La Schiava ‏@schiavona [^140.53] https://twitter.com/schiavona/status/499552038691536897 Her bio: I hope I left a scar. 9,685 tweets. 1,953 following. 3,151 followers.

How to tell if you're innovating: are you being copied?

#gdnmbs

19 November 2012 Steve Workman ‏@steveworkman [^140.54] https://twitter.com/steveworkman/status/270473887085629440 Bio: London Web Standards Organiser, Web Dev, UX architect, iOS and CSS brainiac with a passion for good design and innovation. Location: London · http://www.steveworkman.com - 8,068 tweets. 393 following. 683 followers. The hashtag #gdnmbs is for the Guardian Mobile Business Summit, which he participated in that day in London.

Don't forget what it's like to build something.

25 May 2011 rands @rands [^140.55] https://twitter.com/#!/rands/status/73563561770745856 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 8,540 tweets. 499 following. 27,448 followers.

Advice about hard problems : be the first to solve them, badly, and then wait for others to improve

12 March 2013 Ana-Maria Popescu ‏@hintikka [^140.56] https://twitter.com/hintikka/status/311673517387169793 Bio: Social media, user and interest modeling, IE, data-driven political science | http://www.facebook.com/ana.m.popescu.12 - Location: Mountain View, Bay Area. 1,696 tweets. 140 following. 177 followers. She was tweeting from a Big Data Analytics meetup in San Jose where Oren Etzioni @etzioni was the featured speaker. Etzioni could be the source of the advice above.

1: Build.

2: Measure.

3: Learn.

4: GOTO 1.

2 December 2012 bill naai ‏@ninja_drums [^140.57] https://twitter.com/ninja_drums/status/275181226661400576 Bio: The words might be free, but you'll pay. Location: hate city. 9,565 tweets. 250 following. 861 followers. His stats on 5 December 2012: 11,477 tweets. 256 following. 1,102 followers. In South Africa.

Rome wasn't built in a day.

No Ikea.

22 July 2011 Josh Hara @yoyoha [^140.58] https://twitter.com/#!/yoyoha/status/94482328906244096 His bio and stats on 7 November 2012: I'm just a boy, standing in front of the internet, asking it to love him. Location: Columbus, Ohio · http://www.statusillustrated.com - 9,690 tweets. 668 following. 44,423 followers.

It's surprising shareholders are so tolerant to most business ignoring what works (like naps)& instead relying on the folklore of mgmt books

3 March 2013 Sami Mäkeläinen ‏@smakelainen [^140.59] https://twitter.com/smakelainen/status/308292272288579586 His bio and stats on 11 March 2013: Mobile & innovation specialist by profession, generalist at heart. I think it'd be nice to leave a planet worth living in for those who come after us. Location: Melbourne, Australia · http://www.groundswell.fi/sim/ - 3,382 tweets. 374 following. 299 followers.

Sami Mäkeläinen then asked where beds for napping could be found in company offices. In the US military, one name for a nearby room shared for sleeping during working hours is a ready room, from where personnel can be awoken and quickly made ready.

5hrs sleep. Minimal personality.

24 January 2013 Justine Joy ‏@punkystarfish [^140.60] https://twitter.com/punkystarfish/status/294662339364540416 Her bio and stats on 10 February 2013: I tweet it up like Tweety bird | Social Media Gal @Talooma | Digital Diva | Zimbabwean | Taller than you | Loves Pandas | Favourite time is 12:34 | Runner. Location: I swam here from Zimbabwe · http://www.justinejoyit.co.za - 13,665 tweets. 537 following. 1,241 followers.

Sleep deprivation reduces your IQ by 1, 2 then 4 points per hour. Miss enough days and you can end up temporarily quite stupid

31 January 2013 Oliver Emberton ‏@oliveremberton [^140.61 and ^140.62 for citation below] https://twitter.com/oliveremberton/status/297064464786812928 Bio and stats on 2 February 2013: Founder of @silktide, author-in-training, challenge addict, dancer, pianist, programmer, artist and general busy bee. Location: Derby, UK · http://oliveremberton.com/ - 2,213 tweets. 297 following. 781 followers.

In response to a reader's question about the source of his information for the above tweet, Oliver Emberton cited: "Sleep Deprivation: Effects on Brain Function and Health," http://www.audiblox2000.com/sleep-deprivation.htm. No author or date were found for that source article on 31 January 2013. The anonymous article described how sleep deprivation can impair glucose metabolism and appetite regulation, thereby increasing the risk of obesity and diabetes. Oliver Emberton also said that Google Scholar can be searched for: "sleep deprivation effects on IQ."

Sleep is necessary for proper cognitive functioning.

**Entrepreneurship lesson learned this week: I'm more productive with a 4am-noon sleep cycle than with a midnight-8:30am cycle**.Aho. #TMIoclock

3 May 2012 Urooj Zia @UroojZia [^140.63] https://twitter.com/#!/UroojZia/status/198116280153284608 Twitter bio and stats on 7 June 2013: Founder @laalteyn. I also train dogs @talk2dogpk; research feminism, rape culture, & childhood abuse @bytesforall; and talk about Karachi, and my cats and dogs. Location: Karachi, Pakistan · laalteyn.com - 53,261 tweets. 1,322 following. 9,052 followers.

One secret of productivity is harnessing sleep/awake cycles and fitting work times into those cycles. Google installed sleep pods in some of its offices to enable employees to recharge and work smarter. Other businesses offer flexible working hours and help people to reschedule meetings and work assignments if they have not slept properly the night before.

Naps have been recognized as an accepted and healthy part of our routines for most of humanity's history.

Arianna Huffington talks and writes about sleep's importance and how it makes us smarter and happier. For more information, search for _Arianna Huffington sleep_. The stresses of modern life make sleep more important for general health and emotional well being, not less, Huffington says.

**Here's another reason we need to prioritize sleep: it's hurting our relationships** :

http://bit.ly/SqdPGl

23 January 2013 Arianna Huffington ‏@ariannahuff [^140.64] https://twitter.com/ariannahuff/status/293741838488174592 Bio: president and editor-in-chief of the huffington post media group. mother. sister. flat shoe advocate. sleep evangelist. http://www.huffingtonpost.com - 11,394 tweets. 2,144 following. 1,164,891 followers.

The URL in Arianna Huffington's tweet points to this article:

"Poor Sleep Patterns Challenge Romantic Relationships," by Rick Nauert, PsychCentral, 21 January 2013,  http://psychcentral.com/news/2013/01/21/poor-sleep-patterns-challenge-romantic-relationships/50621.html

Rick Nauert [^140.65] no Twitter ID identified on 28 October 2013.

PsychCentral @PsychCentral [^140.66] Twitter bio and stats on 28 October 2013: Dr. John Grohol's home of psychology & mental health information and support groups. Since 1995. Location: Newburyport, MA · PsychCentral.com - 54,788 tweets. 5,198 following. 59,521 followers.

Rick Nauert looks at the emotional interdependence of sleep partners. He finds that a sleep-deprived person is more likely to act selfishly and is less likely to show gratitude and appreciation. Other people around a sleep-deprived person may consequently feel that they are being taken for granted.

The value of those you manage isn't generated by the # of hours they work, but by how much value they produce during the hours [they're] working

18 May 2010 http://twitter.com/aem76us/status/14276127205

# = number. [they're] replaces "we're" in the original.

**For brain-intensive tasks, 3 spurts of 90 mins best, early in your day** :

http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2010/05/real_productivity_why_less_is.html

18 May 2010 http://twitter.com/aem76us/status/14276118908

The URL in the above tweet points to this blog post, which also informed the previous tweet:

"For Real Productivity, Less is Truly More," by Tony Schwartz in the HBR Blog Network of the Harvard Biz Review, 17 May 2010,  http://blogs.hbr.org/schwartz/2010/05/for-real-productivity-less-is.html

Twitter bio and stats of tonyschwartz @tonyschwartz [^140.67] on 3 February 2013: President and CEO, The Energy Project. Author, Be Excellent at Anything. Passionate about transforming the way the world works. Craves depth. Location: Riverdale NY (i.e. the Bronx) · http://TheEnergyProject.com. - 1,071 tweets. 10,885 following. 18,885 followers.

Twitter bio and stats of Harvard Biz Review @HarvardBiz [^140.68] on 3 February 2013: The latest Harvard Business Review blog posts, Management Tips of the Day, Daily Stats, and more. Location: Boston, MA · http://hbr.org - 12,725 tweets. 180 following. 945,103 followers.

• • • • •

Brain-intensive tasks do not always take place in optimal environments. During the IT outsourcing boom in South Asia from 1998–2010, for example, considerable software development occurred in factory-like environments consisting of large, noisy rooms. During the same period, Seattle-area Microsoft developers commonly worked in one or two-person offices. Software development is generally a solitary activity that requires extended periods of concentration. Time-in-chair can sometimes be the only quantifiable indicator of effort.

Thinking often looks like idleness and may consequently be discouraged.

There is a widely retold tale about how Henry Ford once hired an efficiency expert to review the Ford Motor Company's operations. The consultant delivered generally favorable findings to Henry Ford, with the exception of one employee.

"It's that man down the corridor," said the consultant to Henry Ford.

"Every time I go by his office he's just sitting there with his feet on his desk. He's wasting your money."

"That man," replied Ford, "once had an idea that saved us millions of dollars. At the time, I believe his feet were planted right where they are now."

• • • • •

Doing nothing for 20 minutes a day actually increases your productivity

http://s.hbr.org/Tmt11X

15 October 2012 Harvard Biz Review ‏@HarvardBiz [^140.69 and ^140.70 for article cited below] https://twitter.com/HarvardBiz/status/257740601750077440 Twitter bio and stats of Harvard Biz Review @HarvardBiz on 3 February 2013: The latest Harvard Business Review blog posts, Management Tips of the Day, Daily Stats, and more. Location: Boston, MA · http://hbr.org - 12,725 tweets. 180 following. 945,103 followers.

URL in the above tweet points to:

"If You're Too Busy to Meditate, Read This," by Peter Bregman, HBR Blog Network of the Harvard Biz Review, @HarvardBiz, 12 October 2012, http://blogs.hbr.org/2012/10/if-youre-too-busy-to-meditate/

Peter Bregman @peterbregman [^140.71] Twitter bio and stats on 29 October 2013: Writes for Harvard Business, Fast Company, Forbes. Psychology Today. Author of 18 Minutes and Point B. Consults and speaks about how to lead and how to live. Location: New York · peterbregman.com - 358 tweets. 21 following. 9,686 followers.

_Doing nothing_ can describe three things: active contemplation, idleness and idle dreaming, and finally meditation, which receives the most attention and elicits the greatest expectations of the three. Many of these expectations are rubbish, such as what constitutes a correct way to meditate. Siddhārtha Gautama, also known as Guatama Buddha, whose seated visages are seen by many as the norm, is also depicted in ancient sculptures and paintings lying on his right side, meditating in a relaxed position rather than seated. Meditation can also be practiced while leaning back in a chair (possibly as a prelude or substitute for napping), or even while walking. The correct position is whatever works.

Meditation is often over-hyped and portrayed as a long, drawn-out process. Its vagueness and mystique is exploited as a lure by cults and cult-like business operations such as Dahn Yoga, also known as Dahn Hak, and which is similar to the Moonies of the 1970s. Another example is the cult of Sri (Mr.) Chinmoy. The cult survived Chinmoy's death in 2007 and continues to use meditation to draw in new followers.

See also: "Under The Thumb Of Cult Leader Sri Chinmoy," by Krystle M. Davis, Forbes, 14 April 2009,  http://www.forbes.com/2009/04/14/jayanti-tamm-carwheels-sari-opinions-book-reviews-cults-sri-chinmoy.html

The impatience and hype surrounding meditation can lead people to expect too much from it. Its practice has been burdened with philosophical claims and associations that would otherwise be left to stand or fall on their own merits. Historical unawareness surrounding Siddhārtha Gautama has complicated matters with assumptions that Siddhārtha single-handedly invented meditative practices that in all likelihood were already in use within his family's religious sect, the cult of the "former Buddhas," whose prophet was Siddhārtha's cousin Devadatta.

Source of information on the cult of the former Buddhas: The Oxford History of India, by Vincent A. Smith, edited by Percival Spear, fourth edition, Oxford University Press, Chennai India, 1981, page 76, which is in the book's part I, chapter 3. Part I was revised by Mortimer Wheeler and A.L. Basham. Chapter 3 is titled: "The pre-Maurya states; the rise of Jainism and Buddhism; the invasion of Alexander the Great; India in the fourth century B.C."

Most literature on how to meditate is of little usefulness, leaving many to pick it up by being talked through it in guided meditations at the end of a class in hatha yoga, the most popular type of yoga taught in North America. Rather than engaging in it as a big show, for many people it is more commonly practiced before going to sleep. Or a meditative state is _dropped into_ for a minute or two before eating, studying, working, or launching into a competitive event.

Another reflective practice is keeping a journal, which can help an individual make sense of their emotions and experiences. It can also help in keeping your writing skills sharp, while burning off excess emotional energy constructively, i.e., sublimation.

Meditation and its clearing of the mind is not the same as time spent actively contemplating, ruminating and strategizing, which can offer different benefits, as described in the Ford Motor Company example above. Nor is meditation the same as idleness and idle dreaming, as advocated by Tim Kreider below.

In describing the importance of idleness for productivity, Tim Kreider writes:

Idleness is not just a vacation, an indulgence or a vice; it is as indispensable to the brain as vitamin D is to the body, and deprived of it we suffer a mental affliction as disfiguring as rickets. The space and quiet that idleness provides is a necessary condition for standing back from life and seeing it whole, for making unexpected connections and waiting for the wild summer lightning strikes of inspiration — it is, paradoxically, necessary to getting any work done. "Idle dreaming is often of the essence of what we do," wrote Thomas Pynchon in his essay on sloth. Archimedes' "Eureka" in the bath, Newton's apple, Jekyll & Hyde and the benzene ring: history is full of stories of inspirations that come in idle moments and dreams. It almost makes you wonder whether loafers, goldbricks and no-accounts aren't responsible for more of the world's great ideas, inventions and masterpieces than the hardworking.

Tim Kreider is quoted from his article: "The 'Busy' Trap," by Tim Kreider, The New York Times, 'The Opinionator' section, 30 June 2012, http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/06/30/the-busy-trap/

Tim Kreider's biography that appears at the end of his article: Tim Kreider is the author of "We Learn Nothing," a collection of essays and cartoons. His cartoon, "The Pain — When Will It End?" has been collected in three books by Fantagraphics.

By July 2012, Tim Kreider had tweeted once as @Bananapaper [^140.72] and had no Twitter bio. On 29 October 2013, he still only had one tweet and no Twitter bio. His other stats on 29 October 2013: 0 following, 3 followers.

The New York Times, @nytimes [^140.73] bio and stats on 26 January 2013: Where the Conversation Begins. Follow for breaking news, special reports, http://NYTimes.com homepage links and RTs of our journalists. Location: New York City · http://www.nytimes.com/ \- 98,183 tweets. 731 following. 7,289,918 followers.

• • • • •

Many of our best ideas are produced while we're bored. If we never allow ourselves to be bored, then these ideas will be lost. Idle dreaming enables us to figure out who we are and where we're going. The tendency to put screens in front of us is killing these idle moments and turning us into two-dimensional people. It's unhealthy.

• • • • •

Our disrespect for thinking: someone sitting in a chair, gazing out of the window blankly, always described as 'doing nothing'.

16 September 2011 Alain de Botton @alaindebotton [^140.74] https://twitter.com/#!/alaindebotton/status/114631261632466944 His bio and stats on 15 January 2013: Writer; most recently of 'Religion for Atheists'. Location: London · http://tinyurl.com/chcbro9 - 555 tweets. 4,420 following. 308,786 followers.

On the topic of brainstorming, it has been found that groups are good at exploring ideas that have already been identified. Using a group meeting to come up with ideas, as brainstorming is traditionally practiced, has been found to produce 40% fewer ideas than individuals sitting by themselves and coming up with ideas that they mail in. Groups tend to grab onto a small number of ideas and run with them. This argues in favor of brainstorming being conducted by individuals who submit their ideas before a group meets to consider them.

Source: March 2012 article in Business Insider on brainstorming. Citation lost.

Business Insider @businessinsider [^140.75] Twitter bio and stats on 3 February 2013: The latest business news and analysis. Location: New York, NY · http://businessinsider.com/ \- 100,332 tweets. 30 following. 169,775 followers.

Knowledge worker is a misnomer. I think "professional learner" is more appropriate at times.

14 September 2011 Jeremiah Owyang @jowyang [^140.76] https://twitter.com/#!/jowyang/status/114095692078788608 His bio and stats on 18 November 2012: Industry Analyst, Partner at Altimeter Group. Some tweets publish on timer. How I use Twitter http://bit.ly/LK0i - Location: Silicon Valley, CA · http://web-strategist.com/blog - 36,460 tweets. 13,132 following. 115,905 followers. Bio and stats on 27 April 2015: Founder of http://CrowdCompanies.com @CrowdCompanies, and housemate to @goodboyrumba - Location: Silicon Valley, CA - web-strategist.com/blog - 57,709 tweets. 18,513 following. 161,010 followers.

thank god for mj's bakery and 'religion is your personal business' policy at my office.

11 August 2011 Sohail Abid @SohailAbid [^140.77] https://twitter.com/#!/SohailAbid/status/101611039833075712 His Twitter bio and stats on 23 May 2013: Director at Folk Punjab Foundation. We support people and organizations working for the Punjabi language. Location: Islamabad, Pakistan · http://sohailabid.com - 28,586 tweets. 165 following. 2,586 followers. MJ's bakery is a café where Sohail Abid would sometimes sit with his computer during work hours.

A moderate level of background noise can encourage creativity in task performance. In retail establishments, moderate noise (70 dB) has been found to encourage the purchase of more innovative products. High levels of noise (>85 dB) can hurt task performance. Coffee shops may be good places to find moderate levels of noise. Retail establishments can pump in ambient noise at moderate levels to possibly improve sales.

Source of the information above: "Is Noise Always Bad? Exploring the Effects of Ambient Noise on Creative Cognition," by Ravi Mehta, Rui (Juliet) Zhu and Amar Cheema. Journal of Consumer Research: December 2012. Published by: The University of Chicago Press. Press release: http://www.press.uchicago.edu/pressReleases/2012/June/JCR_1206_Noise.html The article's stable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.1086/665048

JCR @JCRNEWS [^140.78] Twitter bio and stats on 30 October 2013: Journal of Consumer Research: Latest Research on Consumer Behavior. ejcr.org - 1,480 tweets. 180 following. 2,836 followers.

No Twitter IDs identified on 30 October 2013 for Ravi Mehta [^140.79], Rui (Juliet) Zhu [^140.80] and Amar Cheema [^140.81].

Regarding the quiet ones. They listen hard, they don't forget a thing, and they like that you're talking all the time.

20 December 2009 rands @rands [^140.82] https://twitter.com/#!/rands/status/6879671786 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 8,540 tweets. 499 following. 27,448 followers.

Now, can we get some work done, please!!

15 November 2013 Rajesh Kalra ‏@rajeshkalra [^140.83] https://twitter.com/rajeshkalra/status/401215839199698944 Bio: Editor, Writer, Blogger, Once Entrepreneur, Mountaineer, Mountain biker, Marathoner. Forwards don't mean endorsement. Views are personal. Pure vegetarian. Location: Gurgaon, India · blogs.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/randomaccess/ - 13,388 tweets. 657 following. 12,089 followers.

Rajesh Kalra, the editor of the Times of India, tweeted this just after Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar completed his last professional cricket match, after 24 years in the sport. All work in the country came to a halt to watch Sachin's final visit to the crease. At age 40, "The Little Master" accumulated 74 runs against an international team in an ODI (one-day international match), an impressive feat at any age.

Manage yourself or be managed.

15 June 2011 rands @rands [^140.84] https://twitter.com/#!/rands/status/81016618481758208 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 8,540 tweets. 499 following. 27,448 followers.

Mastering the ancient art of not fucking around.

14 June 2012 bllix ‏@bllix [^140.85] https://twitter.com/bllix/status/213355216442105856 Her bio and stats on 30 October 2012: Electronic music producer/knob-twiddler, MYLF, Multilingual programmer, Attorney at LOL, Thug 4 Life, Laundromancer, METAL AS FVCK. Damn, Gina. Location: Portland, OR. · http://bllix.tumblr.com - 12,746 tweets. 501 following. 4,516 followers.

**Yesterday, I told a new volunteer @prajnya worked like a family wedding: show up, look around, spot [something] that needs doing & do it.** # **dreaming**

19 June 2011 Swarna Rajagopalan @swarraj [^140.86] https://twitter.com/#!/swarraj/status/82347878244290560 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: Political scientist by training, writer, analyst, freelance researcher, highly educated factotum, sometimes teacher, building a thinktank called Prajnya. Location: India · http://www.swarnar.com - 24,203 tweets. 676 following. 2,110 followers.

'Something' had originally been abbreviated as sth above.

Prajnya Initiatives @prajnya – Twitter bio and stats on 30 October 2013: Non-profit space for research, education & networking on peace, justice & security. Initiative areas: Politics, security, women; peace educ. Updates by founder. Location: Chennai · http://www.prajnya.in/ \- 4,718 tweets. 508 following. 979 followers. Underlining added. Prajnya works to advance women's rights in South Asia.

You're either building a stage or watching the show.

9 September 2011 rands @rands [^140.87] https://twitter.com/#!/rands/status/112255288517738496 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 8,540 tweets. 499 following. 27,448 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  141. Leadership

Given access to the whole universe of human understanding, we should be living in the golden age of leadership. Why aren't we?

13 January 2014 Brian Layer ‏@brianlayer [^141.1] https://twitter.com/brianlayer/status/422764720970416130 Twitter bio and stats on 8 February 2014: Brigadier General US Army (Retired) | Chair, Organizational Development at N2Growth | Advisor to Fortune 500 CEOs and Boards | Husband & Father. Location: Moline, Illinois · N2Growth.com - 669 tweets. 213 following. 682 followers.

Reply:

@brianlayer **We lack courage. Without it knowledge accomplishes nothing.**

13 January 2014 Bill Gately ‏@rocklandgroup [^141.2] https://twitter.com/rocklandgroup/status/422902951217496064 Bio and stats on 8 February 2014: Business/Technical Leader - Technology/Manufacturing. Location: Boston, MA · rockland-group.com \- 169 tweets. 14 following. 56 followers.

How do we learn about leadership? How do we communicate about problems and failures in leadership? Where and who are our role models for good leadership?

As organizational structures become flatter and more dynamic, leaders are now increasingly likely to change places with subordinates and vice versa. Role reversals can occur numerous times during a career. _Normative controls_ gain importance as organizations flatten out and team leaders operate without traditional command-and-control authority.

Popular conceptions of leadership, as examined below, do not go far enough in looking at the changing roles and functions of participants in flat organizations and informal work environments, which can be dispersed across multiple continents and cultures.

If you want to test a man's character, give him power. Or free booze.

25 July 2011 Eccentricandhow @Eccentricandhow [^141.3] https://twitter.com/#!/Eccentricandhow/status/95710589304840192 Her bio and stats on 19 April 2013: I am a typical Virgo: Read Linda Goodman and you're almost there. Ok-here's more trivia: I am the really TALL girl with the really SHORT hair. Go figure! 17,987 tweets. 808 following. 3,284 followers.

Even harder than herding cats, it turns out, is strapping them into a bobsled.

27 October 2010 donni @donni [^141.4] https://twitter.com/#!/donni/status/28952188466 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Comedy sand wedge. Writer, performer, fledgling opener, packet submitter. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Sea cows probably never see cows. Location: Chicago City Of Wind · http://qr.net/donni - 9,640 tweets. 839 following. 25,773 followers.

It's been a bumpy ride ever since my initial pubic offering.

Wednesday, 23 May 2012 Red Herring Bear ‏@redherringbear [^141.5] https://twitter.com/redherringbear/status/205522489466560513 His screen name, bio and stats on 14 December 2012: Andy Glib. Word salad spinner. I mangle syntax so you don't have to. 18+ please. Location: Oregon · http://favstar.fm/users/redherringbear/ - 8,747 tweets. 2,036 following. 2,383 followers.

Tweeted in the first week after Facebook's Friday IPO, when its stock price dropped significantly. This drop prompted some shareholders to file lawsuits against Facebook, its executives, and Morgan Stanley - the IPO's lead underwriter.

In science, all models are wrong but some are useful.

The same goes for role models.

25 August 2012 Alexander Olesker ‏@AlexOlesker [^141.6] https://twitter.com/AlexOlesker/status/239402671763759104 Twitter bio and stats on 31 October 2013: Amateur pugilist, poemer, and pundit. Missão dada é missão cumprida. Location: Washington, DC · fearhonorinterest.wordpress.com - 7,899 tweets. 248 following. 745 followers.

" **Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose**." -- @ **BillGates** ,

via @Forbes

26 September 2012 Clayton Christensen ‏@claychristensen [^141.7] https://twitter.com/claychristensen/status/250880657352429568 His bio: Professor at Harvard Business School. Author of @measureyourlife. Tweets with occasional assistance from the Fellows at the Forum for Growth & Innovation. Location: Boston, MA · http://claytonchristensen.com/ - 998 tweets. 70 following. 35,857 followers.

Bill Gates @BillGates [^141.8] Twitter bio and stats on 3 November 2013: Sharing things I'm learning through my foundation work and other interests... Location: Seattle, WA · thegatesnotes.com - 1,060 tweets. 156 following. 13,707,434 followers.

Forbes @Forbes [^141.9] Twitter bio and stats on 3 February 2013: Official Twitter account of http://Forbes.com , homepage for the world's business leaders. Location: New York, NY · http://forbes.com - 26,885 tweets. 361 following. 1,310,994 followers.

"The cult of leadership won't solve the challenges companies are facing today."

4 March 2012 Bob Marshall ‏@flowchainsensei [^141.10] https://twitter.com/#!/flowchainsensei/status/176032304412622848 His Twitter bio and stats on 31 October 2013: 'Never do anything that isn't play.' Organisational psychotherapist. Autodidact. Iconoclast. London, UK and Global · flowchainsensei.wordpress.com - 75,082 tweets. 3,611 following. 8,555 followers.

The cult of leadership refers to idolizing ostensibly successful leaders and attempting to apply their leadership styles to problems that often call for different approaches.

The cult of leadership extends to the military too:

Good journalists perpetuating the outsized myths of mediocre generals among the many things in common between Pakistan & the United States.

10 November 2012 Mosharraf Zaidi ‏@mosharrafzaidi [^141.11] https://twitter.com/mosharrafzaidi/status/267483464146763777 His bio and stats: Policy Advisor to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, Government of Pakistan (All views expressed are strictly personal & RTs do not = endorsement). Location: Islamabad, Pakistan · http://www.mosharrafzaidi.com - 19,757 tweets. 652 following. 16,140 followers.

Tweeted the day after US CIA Director David H. Petraeus resigned from his position. The retired four-star general had received generous praise in Western media prior to his resignation.

Additional commonalities include a shared emphasis on tangible results.

Steve Jobs benefitted from a cult of leadership. However, Michael Gartenberg said:

Consumers buy products from Apple because they're good products not because they're from Steve Jobs.

24 August 2011 Michael Gartenberg ‏@Gartenberg [^141.12] https://twitter.com/gartenberg/status/106513691779923968 His bio and stats on 11 November 2012: Industry analyst at Gartner, Technology columnist, Speaker and Blogger. Location: In the swamps of Jersey · http://about.me/MichaelGartenberg - 62,015 tweets. 267 following. 21,072 followers.

Michael Gartenberg posted this tweet while Steve Jobs was still alive.

Steve Jobs actually changed the world.

Do you know how fucking impossible that is?

5 October 2011 Chris D'Elia ‏@chrisdelia [^141.13] https://twitter.com/chrisdelia/status/121744545653334018 His bio and stats on 13 April 2013: White male. Black comic. Location: The Valley, CA · http://chrisdelia.com - 6,001 tweets. 189 following. 166,538 followers.

The best leadership tip I ever received was to always be the leader they need, not the one you want to be.

6 November 2012 ShoutingGoddess ‏@ShoutingGoddess [^141.14] https://twitter.com/ShoutingGoddess/status/265930041551110144 Bio: Don't read this shit. Go read a book. 101,891 tweets. 2,313 following. 16,773 followers.

**It's difficult to connect dots that can't be seen - good** ‪# **leadership‬ demands clearly articulated expectations.**

23 June 2012 Mike Myatt ‏@mikemyatt [^141.15] https://twitter.com/mikemyatt/status/216679482378031106 His bio and stats on 27 February 2013: Husband/Father/Grandfather - #Leadership advisor to Fortune 500 CEOs & Boards - author Leadership Matters - Forbes Contributor. Location: United States · http://n2growth.com/blog - 7,841 tweets. 1,696 following. 36,430 followers.

Hope is not a control.

13 August 2013 Trey Darley ‏@treyka [^141.16] https://twitter.com/treyka/status/367289492702367745 Twitter bio and stats on 16 August 2013 : jack-of-all-trades; vehement pragmatist; bit-flipper; voracious inquirer; private pilot; husband; father; philosopher without portfolio. Location: Brussels, Belgium · treyka.net/about/ - 8,115 tweets. 827 following. 873 followers.

Managers tell you where you are; leaders tell you where you're going.

21 July 2010 rands @rands [^141.17] https://twitter.com/#!/rands/status/19233655945 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 8,540 tweets. 499 following. 27,448 followers.

If you want them to own it, you make them accountable.

20 October 2010 rands @rands [^141.18] https://twitter.com/#!/rands/status/27955524824 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 8,540 tweets. 499 following. 27,448 followers.

Today's workers expect to be held accountable for results—but they also expect coaching, development, and regular feedback.

20 March 2014 Usman Sheikh ‏@usmansheikh [^141.19] https://twitter.com/usmansheikh/status/446884761722970112 Bio: Co-Founder of IDENTIFI. On a mission to get the right people in the right jobs. Location:Singapore · usmansheikh.com - 3,651 tweets. 85 following. 828 followers.

Heads will roll when I find out who's responsible for this 'blame culture'.

12 November 2012 Mr Roger Quimbly ‏@RogerQuimbly [^141.20] https://twitter.com/RogerQuimbly/status/267925903177285632 Bio and stats on 14 November 2012: Fridge magnate. Location: Brighton & Hove, circa 1973 · http://rogerquimbly.weebly.com/index.html - 13,619 tweets. 355 following. 18,729 followers.

Tweeted at the time that BBC News was undergoing a 'vertical chop' within its management ranks.

"Find the source of the error and correct it, but don't lay blame...." -my boss.

Fucking passive aggression. Hold people accountable...

9 September 2012 Julie Baby ‏@inScytheful [^141.21] https://twitter.com/inScytheful/status/244842094022254592 Her bio and stats on 27 February 2013: ...against the dying of the light. Location: nucleus accumbens · http://science.nasa.gov/astrophysics/focus-areas/what-is-dark-energy/ \- 7,583 tweets. 712 following. 1,829 followers.

When you say "I forgot to tell you that," I hear "I do not value you, or your work."

/cc @Adana @rands

28 October 2012 Orion Protonentis ‏@orionp [^141.22] https://twitter.com/orionp/status/262620900959059970 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: Husband, father, difference maker. Location: Seattle, WA, USA · http://orionp.com/ - 3,073 tweets. 352 following. 155 followers.

A conversation is only as authentic as the action that follows.

23 February 2012 Lee Clow's Beard‏ @leeclowsbeard [^141.23] https://twitter.com/#!/leeclowsbeard/status/172736783400968193Twitter bio and stats on 27 August 2013: Musings on advertising and facial topiary. Usually daily. Often dandruff-free. The book: http://amzn.to/LCBbook • The story: http://bit.ly/LeeClowTalksLCB - leeclowsbeard.com. 1,126 tweets. 250 following. 34,879 followers.

Solve the problem by involving them in it.

26 July 2012 rands ‏@rands [^141.24] https://twitter.com/rands/status/228735558183170048 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 8,540 tweets. 499 following. 27,448 followers.

**Some say "Success has a thousand fathers, but failure is an orphan." However, great** # **leaders OWN failure --- and GIVE AWAY success.**

4 November 2011 Jim Kinkade @jimkinkade [^141.25] https://twitter.com/#!/jimkinkade/status/132636331749818368 Bio: U.S. Army colonel. Logistician, runner, reader, skier. USC BS '86, Naval Postgraduate School MS '94. His bio and stats on 8 February 2014: Career Soldier. Proud American. Honored to serve! 114 tweets. 40 following. 33 followers. On 8 February 2014 his most recent tweet was dated 21 December 2013.

Never even start a relationship with someone that doesn't have the balls to apologize.

2 January 2012 Stuckinthezipper @chopper4jk [^141.26] https://twitter.com/#!/chopper4jk/status/154092838446047234 His bio and stats on 27 October 2012: Yeah, I really just said that...Get over it...Usually up @chrisanna4real's skirt - IG chopper4jk http://favstar.fm/users/chopper4jk Location: Hood River OR. 16,044 tweets. 19,525 following. 20,795 followers.

You look like you could use some spine

23 March 2012 Mudblood ‏@DiscoLemonKayy [^141.27] https://twitter.com/#!/DiscoLemonKayy/status/183277109840576512 She had 1,792 followers that day. Her bio and stats on 30 October 2012: I'm a shade too awkward for pretty; this muggle bullshit is for the birds. Location: into the wild :) 26,411 tweets. 907 following. 6,509 followers.

A coward is your most dangerous enemy.

10/10/10 The Bosha @TheBosha [^141.28] https://twitter.com/#!/TheBosha/status/26967511938 His bio and stats on 16 November 2012: Get off my lawn. Location: Near the Tannhäuser Gate · http://www.witstream.com/#jim_bosha - 13,149 tweets. 476 following. 11,858 followers.

Confidence is sexy, no matter who you are.

Just don't overdose on it, nobody likes an arrogant prick.

9 April 2012 Tiffany Slaughter ‏@PissMiggy_ [^141.29] https://twitter.com/#!/PissMiggy_/status/189489763399639042 No Twitter account with this ID found on 29 September 2013.

A decade ago, some top RIM execs visited Sprint, where I worked. Abiding memory is colleague's comment about arrogance and over-confidence.

21 September 2013 Martin Geddes ‏@martingeddes [^141.30] https://twitter.com/martingeddes/status/381335251953672192 His Twitter bio: Telecoms strategy consultant with special interests in network performance engineering, polyservice networks, and hypervoice technology. Location: London · martingeddes.com. 12,181 tweets. 1,728 following. 2,535 followers.

Tweeted the day after RIM announced it would cut 4,500 staff and put the company up for sale.

**Effective teams function based on "what" is right being more important than "who" is right.** ‪# **Leadership‬**

20 February 2012 Mike Myatt ‏@mikemyatt [^141.31] https://twitter.com/mikemyatt/status/171698231548452864 His bio and stats on 27 February 2013: Husband/Father/Grandfather - #Leadership advisor to Fortune 500 CEOs & Boards - author Leadership Matters - Forbes Contributor. Location: United States · http://n2growth.com/blog - 7,841 tweets. 1,696 following. 36,430 followers.

Most people engaged on a project which is going wrong will prefer to walk off the cliff rather than bother to raise the alarm.

9 September 2011 Alain de Botton @alaindebotton [^141.32] https://twitter.com/#!/alaindebotton/status/112378430963720192 His bio and stats on 15 January 2013: Writer; most recently of 'Religion for Atheists'. Location: London · http://tinyurl.com/chcbro9 - 555 tweets. 4,420 following. 308,786 followers.

The moment you become someone others are afraid to communicate bad news to, you are lost.

9 September 2011 Alain de Botton @alaindebotton [^141.33] https://twitter.com/#!/alaindebotton/status/112375559379615745 His bio and stats on 15 January 2013: Writer; most recently of 'Religion for Atheists'. Location: London · http://tinyurl.com/chcbro9 - 555 tweets. 4,420 following. 308,786 followers.

Tell me the truth and I might be offended. Lie to me once and I may never speak to you again.

31 July 2012 Shane ‏@shanethevein [^141.34] https://twitter.com/shanethevein/status/230461957810049024 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: Twitter should be an escape, not a destination. http://favstar.fm/users/shanethevein Location: America's Finest City! · http://shanethevein.tumblr.com/ - 21,001 tweets. 5,385 following. 16,054 followers.

I'll respect you a lot more if you fuck up and take responsibility than if you pretend nothing happened.

5 April 2012 Moiste Porque @MoistPork [^141.35] https://twitter.com/#!/MoistPork/status/188059128118251520 Her bio and stats on 24 October 2012: Take everything I say seriously. Please. Location: The Meat Locker · http://favstar.fm/users/moistpork - 5,555 tweets. 803 following. 13,211 followers.

**"I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying."** **\- Michael Jordan**

18 January 2011 Seattle2.0 @seattle20 [^141.36] https://twitter.com/#!/seattle20/status/27374639801962497 Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 3 November 2013: GeekWire Startups @seattle20 - Startup news and tips from Seattle, powered by @GeekWire. Location: Seattle · seattle20.com - 6,374 tweets. 15 following. 9,568 followers.

Michael B Jordan @michaelb4jordan [^141.37] Bio and stats on 25 July 2014 of this verified Twitter account: Jetsettin Across the Globe Enjoying Life...Constantly being Inspired by people I meet everyday..so dont be shy, closed mouths dont get fed! Location: Los Angeles. 8,588 tweets. 483 following. 181,849 followers.

When you tell me you're giving 110% I assume you're lying about everything else, too.

1 November 2011 Schrodinger's Dog @CuddlyNinja [^141.38] https://twitter.com/#!/CuddlyNinja/status/131475258480930816 On 13 September 2013 this tweet was found to have been deleted and the account disabled. Screen name, bio and stats: Rory Holderness @CuddlyNinja - All around good guy. 1 tweet. 11 following. 13 followers.

Sometimes Fear manifests itself as stubbornness.

15 August 2011 Steve @Poppa_Steve - https://twitter.com/#!/Poppa_Steve/status/103227146423648256 His screen name, ID, bio and stats on 22 March 2013: Steve @PoppawSteve [^141.39] Don't buy bonus features. Donate it to The March of Dimes. marchofdimes.org - 9,487 tweets. 2,626 following. 3,588 followers.

Management is the art of becoming comfortable with ambiguity.

28 October 2010 rands @rands [^141.40] https://twitter.com/#!/rands/status/28989799982 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 8,540 tweets. 499 following. 27,448 followers.

A note for bosses everywhere in this vacation season: If the place can't get along without you, you're doing it wrong.

11 July 2012 Patrick LaForge ‏@palafo [^141.41] https://twitter.com/palafo/status/223045126405103618 Bio: Editor, News Presentation, @nytimes. Location: Manhattan, NY. 27,150 tweets. 1,098 following. 20,490 followers.

" **John F. Kennedy once said in a speech that to lead is to choose** ,"

Rex W. Tillerson, CEO, Exxon Mobil. http://www.cfr.org/united-states/new-north-american-energy-paradigm-reshaping-future/p28630

30 June 2012 https://twitter.com/aem76us/status/219031541660135424

Points to:

"The New North American Energy Paradigm: Reshaping the Future. Speaker: Rex W. Tillerson, Chairman and CEO, Exxon Mobil Corporation," transcript of the remarks by Rex W. Tillerson, Council on Foreign Relations, 27 June 2012, http://www.cfr.org/united-states/new-north-american-energy-paradigm-reshaping-future/p28630

Rex W. Tillerson's quote is from the following portion of his remarks, where "this technology" refers to fracking:

"So within the North American countries, we have a unique opportunity, because of this technology that has now emerged just in the last less than a decade, in the last five or six years, to, I think, get on a pathway to that energy security that we have all wanted and hoped for.

"It's simply a matter of policy. It's simply a matter of choosing. You know, John F. Kennedy once said in a speech that to lead is to choose. Well, we need to choose. We need to choose. Are we going to have energy security and are we willing to deal with the real fears, the real concerns, and manage the risk and acknowledge that we can do that, and when we put it in the scales and the balance of what's in the best interest of society and our peoples, we're going to have a policy that allows this to happen."

Found through this tweet:

Exxon CEO: People are illiterate, reporters are lazy, critics are fear-mongers, and we will adapt to global warming. http://bit.ly/NGchAE

28 June 2012 Steve LeVine ‏@stevelevine [^141.42] https://twitter.com/stevelevine/status/218374934655795200 His Twitter bio and stats on 2 January 2014: Washington Correspondent, Quartz (http://qz.com ); Fellow at the New America Foundation; adjunct professor, energy security, Georgetown University. Location: Washington · qz.com/author/levinesteve/ - 1,864 tweets. 772 following. 5,132 followers. The link in his tweet points to his article: "Exxon Mobil CEO pivots on climate, slams 'manufactured fear' on fracking," by Steve LeVine, EnergyWire, 28 June 2012, http://eenews.net/public/energywire/2012/06/28/4

Rex W. Tillerson [^141.43] no Twitter ID found on 3 November 2013.

Council on Foreign Relations Twitter ID, bio and stats on 3 November 2013: CFR @CFR_org [^141.44] The Council on Foreign Relations is a resource for foreign policy news and analysis. CFR takes no institutional positions on policy. Follows ≠ endorsements. Location: New York, NY · cfr.org/twitter - 17,423 tweets. 11,354 following. 119,648 followers.

E&E Publishing, LLC @EEPublishing [^141.45] Twitter bio and stats on 2 January 2014: The leading source for daily coverage of energy and environmental politics and policy, E&E produces EnergyWire, Greenwire, E&E Daily, ClimateWire and E&ETV. DC, NYC, HOU, SF and LA · eenews.net/public/ - 1,820 tweets. 118 following. 1,309 followers.

Status-quoists are unfit for positions requiring leadership.

21 January 2014 Sastry Tumuluri ‏@sastrytumuluri [^141.46] https://twitter.com/sastrytumuluri/status/425851049887289344 Bio: IT Advisor and CISO @ Govt of Haryana #infosec #privacy #FOSS Plain speak. Open mind. Location: Chandigarh, India · sastrytumuluri.blogspot.com - 4,751 following. 49 following. 255 followers.

Tweeted following a meeting with personnel from the Haryana Health Department to discuss opportunities for upgrading their IT systems.

Then:

I realize there's an IT equivalent of road rage. Anyone driving (change) slower than me is an imbecile. Anyone faster than me is a maniac.

21 January 2014 Sastry Tumuluri ‏@sastrytumuluri [^141.47] https://twitter.com/sastrytumuluri/status/425859783359361025 Bio: IT Advisor and CISO @ Govt of Haryana #infosec #privacy #FOSS Plain speak. Open mind. Location: Chandigarh, India · sastrytumuluri.blogspot.com - 4,751 following. 49 following. 255 followers. Tweeted following a meeting with personnel from the Haryana Health Department.

**I'm not a big fan of "leading from behind" \-- I tend to prefer "leading" -- but it's certainly better than not leading at all**.

#Syria

8 October 2012 Shadi Hamid ‏@shadihamid [^141.48] https://twitter.com/shadihamid/status/255244189963522048 Bio: Director of Research at the Brookings Doha Center & Fellow at the Saban Center for Middle East Policy at the Brookings Institution. shamid [at] brookings.edu. Location: Doha/DC. http://www.brookings.edu/experts/hamids.aspx - 12,802 tweets. 987 following. 31,806 followers.

Tweeted as the civil war in Syria was beginning to spill over into Turkey.

" **Think 100 times before you take a decision, But once that decision is taken, stand by it as one man." \- Muhammad Ali Jinnah**

4 July 2009 @Kudcia [^141.49] on Twitter. URL lost. Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 3 November 2013, by which time this account had been set to private: Queue @kudcia - Add in a bit of 'curious' and lots of 'crazy'. Avid cookie lover who enjoys moments of hibernation - with a tub of ice cream, ofcourse. Location: Islamabad, Pakistan · tinyurl.com/np9k85 - 6,112 tweets. 1,141 following. 1,108 followers.

RT @RumaisaMohani: **2** **lessons for life..**

1. Never make a decision when angry

**2. Never make a promise when happy** (Hazrat Ali) via @yasirbucha

23 July 2009 Kashif Aziz @kashaziz [^141.50] on Twitter. URL lost. Twitter bio and stats on 3 November 2013: Wordpress Super User, Content Marketing Consultant for Hire. Does niche micro website development, PHP, Wordpress, SEO, Social Media Marketing and Blogging. Location: Karachi, Pakistan · jobiety.com - 43,201 tweets. 271 following. 2,660 followers.

Rumaisa Mohani @RumaisaMohani [^141.51] Twitter bio and stats on 3 November 2013: A promoter of education, peace & unity. Best Business Plan Award-2012 by @GISTinitiative USA. Grand daughter of @Hasrat_Mohani. Location: Pakistan / UAE · rumaisamohani.blogspot.com - 28,300 tweets. 9,736 following. 11,087 followers.

The attribution to Hazrat Ali refers to Hasrat Mohani @Hasrat_Mohani - Twitter bio and stats on 12 July 2014: Quotes, poetry & articles about this legendary freedom fighter, poet & scholar from the Indo-Pakistan 's history 1875-1951 (Admin: @RumaisaMohani ). Location: Pakistan, India and the World. https://www.facebook.com/hasratmohanitrust - 527 tweets. 34 following. 9,847 followers.

Yasir Bucha @YasirBucha [^141.52] Twitter bio and stats on 3 November 2013: Gadgeteer | into Mac, iPhone and Apple products these days. Love the Handheld Device Technology Boom.. Recently, into Android and WP7... Location: Multan · linkedin.com/in/yasirbucha - 6,125 tweets. 157 following. 362 followers.

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. -Chinese Proverbs

29 May 2011 @AncientProverbs - https://twitter.com/#!/AncientProverbs/status/75075400174272512 Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 3 November 2013: Sports Motivation @Sports_HQ [^141.53] Sports Quotes & Fitness Motivation. twitter.com/DavidRoads - 20,193 tweets. 125,563 following. 492,938 followers.

" **Anger is always the shortest distance to a mistake** " -- The Doctor !q

5 June 2011 Slackusr [Identi.ca ID] [^141.54] https://identi.ca/notice/75451749 URL no longer resolved on 3 November 2013. The Doctor refers to the television show Doctor Who. !q indicates that something is a quote. !q is a relic of machine language.

Never underestimate the power of an unexpected smile or word of encouragement.

16 October 2012 Brian Layer @brianlayer [^141.55] https://twitter.com/brianlayer/status/258187656737996800 Bio: U.S. Army Brigadier General. Deputy Commanding General, Army Sustainment Command, Rock Island Arsenal, IL. USMA BS 1982, Michigan State University MBA, 1990. Location: U.S. Army. 365 tweets. 139 following. 142 followers. His bio and stats on 17 March 2013: Retired Army leader and founding member of Layer 55 Consulting believes smart, courageous, and selfless leadership is the answer to our hardest problems. Location: Moline, Illinois. 421 tweets. 145 following. 154 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 8 February 2014: Brigadier General US Army (Retired) | Chair, Organizational Development at N2Growth | Advisor to Fortune 500 CEOs and Boards | Husband & Father. Location: Moline, Illinois · N2Growth.com - 669 tweets. 213 following. 682 followers.

"I praise loudly. I blame softly." -- Catherine the Great

25 July 2012 Calestous Juma ‏@Calestous [^141.56] https://twitter.com/Calestous/status/228095767649349632 His bio: Professor @Harvard @Kennedy_School interested in science, technology and innovation for development. To follow is a privilege; to be followed is an honor. Location: Cambridge, MA. 46,167 tweets. 5,461 following. 15,715 followers.

Ensure you speak in specific ways and don't use vague generalities to express your thanks and acknowledgments

15 October 2012 Roy Saunderson ‏@RoySaunderson [^141.57] https://twitter.com/RoySaunderson/status/257962951061942272 Bio and stats the next day: Get Recognition Right Guy - Author, #RealRecognition Expert, Speaker and Consultant,happily married w/ 5 children and 8 grandchildren! Location: Montreal, QC and Kingsville, · http://www.Rideau.com - 8,517 tweets, 6,753 following. 6,175 followers.

Wanna know the truth about someone?

Listen to what they say when they're angry or drunk.

30 March 2011 David Voth @SexCigarsBooze [^141.58] https://twitter.com/#!/SexCigarsBooze/status/53277470610309120 Bio and stats on 4 November 2013: Dedicated to promoting the benefits and enjoyment of daily sex, coffee, cigars & alcohol. Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any. Location: Sugar Land, TX · SexCigarsBooze.com - 29,613 tweets. 22,264 following. 154,763 followers.

It only takes one second to destroy someone's faith in you.

13 May 2012 Steve ‏@FSUSteve [^141.59] https://twitter.com/#!/FSUSteve/status/201888679155867648 Bio and stats on 8 November 2012: My ride or die @mekaylasmoody Location: Florida · http://favstar.fm/users/FSUSteve - 57,242 tweets. 3,537 following. 12,316 followers. His bio and stats on 16 May 2013: Twitter is the Matrix. Location: Miami · favstar.fm/users/FSUSteve \- 65,814 tweets. 4,634 following. 16,092 followers.

A little empathy towards others problems might help solve a few if your own.

Thinking your value is more than others only isolates you.

27 November 2011That Stings @thatstings [^141.60] https://twitter.com/#!/thatstings/status/140957424084467712

He had 3,329 followers that day. His stats on 12 November 2012: The Peanut Gallery · http://favstar.fm/users/thatstings/recent - 8,460 tweets. 3,001 following. 9,475 followers. if your should be read as of your.

A related topic is the issue of adherence to rules, whereby leaders need to know when to make exceptions to rules in order to assist employees and ultimately benefit the organization.

‪# **Leadership‬ is more than a title; it's a privilege and therefore a burden of the highest responsibility.**

12 February 2012 Mike Myatt ‏@mikemyatt [^141.61] https://twitter.com/mikemyatt/status/168759155811811328 His bio and stats on 27 February 2013: Husband/Father/Grandfather - #Leadership advisor to Fortune 500 CEOs & Boards - author Leadership Matters - Forbes Contributor. Location: United States · http://n2growth.com/blog - 7,841 tweets. 1,696 following. 36,430 followers.

Too many politicians, not enough leaders

27 July 2011 John Durant @johndurant [^141.62] https://twitter.com/#!/johndurant/status/96247811640803328 Twitter bio and stats on 4 November 2013: Author of The Paleo Manifesto (http://bit.ly/1cgGdla ). Paleo, primal, CrossFit, MovNat, barefoot running, fasting, and health. NYC · HunterGatherer.com - 16,224 tweets. 1,114 following. 11,563 followers.

Leaders don't suck the energy out of a room, they add to it. They don't supervise by making others feel inadequate or inferior—they empower and inspire. They don't treat people as children or serfs, but as colleagues in a shared endeavor.

Leadership isn't about humiliating people. Leadership is about rolling up your sleeves and asking, "How can I help?"

Above is a quote from Tara Lee @_LaPeligrosa [^141.63] recorded during conversation at Caffé Vita, Capitol Hill, Seattle, 17 March 2014. Twitter bio: Social Media Promotions Manager at Mercury@machinewerks. DJ. Fifth Column resident. Event Organizer/Producer. PR-Jedi. Location: Seattle,WA. 7,190 tweets. 766 following. 462 followers. Tweeted with a typo as: https://twitter.com/aem76us/status/445759189676068864 Tara is an IT startup veteran who shifted to event management and DJing.

**"Leaders accept blame"** @johnprg

8 August 2011 rands @rands [^141.64] https://twitter.com/#!/rands/status/100750127022612480 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 8,540 tweets. 499 following. 27,448 followers.

John Rae-Grant @JohnPRG [^141.65] Twitter bio and stats on 5 November 2013: CEO of Glooey: Bridging online and offline worlds to create Reality Plus. Location: Los Gatos, CA · glooey.net - 181 tweets. 233 following. 180 followers.

"A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else." - John Burroughs

15 October 2012 Roy Saunderson ‏@RoySaunderson [^141.66] https://twitter.com/RoySaunderson/status/257963408933126145 Bio and stats the next day: Get Recognition Right Guy - Author, #RealRecognition Expert, Speaker and Consultant,happily married w/ 5 children and 8 grandchildren! Location: Montreal, QC and Kingsville, · http://www.Rideau.com - 8,517 tweets, 6,753 following. 6,175 followers.

You're the one person least qualified to judge the clarity of your own code (recency, choice-support bias, curse of knowledge, etc).

15 August 2012 Tim Ottinger ‏@tottinge [^141.67] https://twitter.com/tottinge/status/235784516768235524 Bio and stats 18 August 2012: Sr. Consultant, Industrial Logic Co-author of AgileInAFlash and Clean Code. Software consultant, guitar nut, minor-grade foodie. He writes code. He Likes it. Location: Chicagoland NW Burbs. 15,168 tweets. 216 following. 1,291 followers.

Learn to point out your own mistakes.

27 September 2012 D ‏@ddscrap [^141.68] https://twitter.com/ddscrap/status/251300164856336384 Her bio and stats on 29 September 2012: Don't disturb me. I'm trying to become a better bum. (VisualizedThoughts on instagram: @ddscrap). Location: Searching.. 1,032 tweets. 593 following. 3,216 followers.

I can't wait for integrity to be cool again.

8 May 2012 ShoutingGoddess @ShoutingGoddess [^141.69] https://twitter.com/#!/ShoutingGoddess/status/199993070505312257 Her bio and stats on 5 November 2012: Don't read this shit. Go read a book. 101,615 tweets. 2,305 following. 16,629 followers.

If you're not leading by example, you're following by default.

6 January 2012 PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz - https://twitter.com/#!/llvvzz/status/155422745964986368 Her bio and stats on 20 December 2012: I am not your perception of me. I control your perception of me. http://facebook.com/llvvzzz @llvvzzz for #FF Check out Tweet~Mates! at http://llvvzz.com - I Own A Chihuahua · http://favstar.fm/users/llvvzz - 1,985 tweets. 83,157 following. 83,737 followers. Indexed under her alternate ID: @lvvzz [^141.70].

Long afternoon in Crystal tomorrow.

But it'll be fun -- I'll make it fun.

Sunday night, 3 February 2013 Robert Caruso ‏@robertcaruso [^141.71] https://twitter.com/robertcaruso/status/298306908148879360 Bio: Information security consultant to USG/private sector. Veteran. Wolf, not sheepdog. Nonpartisan. Raised in Boston, forged in Southern California. Washington, DC · http://bit.ly/robertcaruso - 56,355 tweets. 164 following. 2,213 followers.

Crystal = Crystal City, outside Washington D.C. Its office buildings are clad in reflective glass, which makes the buildings resemble crystals when viewed from a distance on a bright sunny day.

**Possessing individual talent is nice - developing talent in others is called** ‪# **leadership‬.**

25 June 2012 Mike Myatt ‏@mikemyatt [^141.72] https://twitter.com/mikemyatt/status/217368144568782848 Bio: Husband/Father/Grandfather - #Leadership advisor to Fortune 500 CEOs & Boards - author Leadership Matters - Forbes Contributor. Location: United States. 7,634 tweets, 1,574 following, 15,905 followers.

Spoke to students at the Nat'l Defense University about trust & leadership.

You are our decisive advantage & our hedge against uncertainty.

6 October 2011 GEN Martin Dempsey @Martin_Dempsey [^141.73] https://twitter.com/#!/Martin_Dempsey/status/121921555113574400 Tweeted during Dempsey's first term as the chairman of the US military's Joint Chiefs of Staff. His Twitter bio and stats on 5 November 2013, almost two months into his second term: The 18th Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Location: The Pentagon · facebook.com/GENDempsey - 425 tweets. 46 following. 29,465 followers.

"Our employees don't really care about what we want them to do until they know how much we care about them. When an employee knows--truly knows--that you care about them, then they care about you. And when they know you care, they will listen to you... and they will do anything for you."

Jeff Haden @jeff_haden quotes an anonymous member of the audience at a presentation Haden gave and that he recounts in his article, "The Only Management Strategy You'll Ever Need." Jeff Haden's article appears in his series titled "Owners' Manual" in INC Magazine @Inc, 21 May 2012.  http://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/key-to-leadership-managing-employees.html

Jeff Haden expands on the importance of maintaining empathy for customers and employees in: "9 Qualities of Remarkable Entrepreneurs," by Jeff Haden, Inc. Magazine, 14 May 2012,  http://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/9-qualities-of-remarkable-entrepreneurs.html

Jeff Haden @jeff_haden [^141.74 and ^141.75] Twitter bio and stats on 5 November 2013: Ghostwriter, Inc. Magazine columnist, LinkedIn Influencer (the only time I'll ever appear on the same list as Richard Branson). I only tweet new posts. Location: Harrisonburg, VA · blackbirdinc.com - 614 tweets. 8 following. 27,296 followers.

Inc. @Inc [^141.76 and ^141.77] Twitter bio and stats on 5 November 2013: Everything you need to know to start and grow your business now. Location: New York City · inc.com - 28,270 tweets. 914 following. 715,410 followers.

Listen to people.

29 September 2012 Julie Baby ‏@inScytheful ^141.77] https://twitter.com/inScytheful/status/252080447532716035 Her bio and stats on 27 February 2013: ...against the dying of the light. Location: nucleus accumbens · [ http://science.nasa.gov/astrophysics/focus-areas/what-is-dark-energy/ \- 7,583 tweets. 712 following. 1,829 followers.

There's a difference between critical feedback and being critical - educate don't denigrate.

‪#Leadership‬

18 May 2012 Mike Myatt ‏@mikemyatt [^141.78] https://twitter.com/mikemyatt/status/203592998926286848 His bio and stats on 27 February 2013: Husband/Father/Grandfather - #Leadership advisor to Fortune 500 CEOs & Boards - author Leadership Matters - Forbes Contributor. Location: United States · http://n2growth.com/blog - 7,841 tweets. 1,696 following. 36,430 followers.

It's not good to be a person that puts others down.

28 June 2012 Ryan Armentrout ‏@ryaninco [^141.79] https://twitter.com/ryaninco/status/218445695064088576 His bio and stats on 2 November 2012: Traveling the U.S. like a gypsy, only I take a shower daily. Instagram Ryaninco. Location: I get around · http://favstar.fm/users/ryaninco - 22,000 tweets. 5,016 following. 13,127 followers.

• • • • •

We really need to learn how to work and live better.

HBR: The ripple effects you create as a manager.

http://bit.ly/190orPv #leadership

8 May 2013 Peter J. Munson ‏@peterjmunson [^141.80] https://twitter.com/peterjmunson/status/332278811590815744 His bio: Creating strategic solutions to complex int'l problems. Thought leader & planner. Author of War, Welfare, & Democracy on America's strategic challenges. Location: Tampa, FL · linkedin.com/in/peterjmunson - 11,501 tweets. 659 following. 1,813 followers. Italics added.

The subtitle of Peter J. Munson's book: Rethinking America's Quest for the End of History.

The link in Peter J. Munson's tweet points to:

"The Ripple Effects You Create as a Manager," by Monique Valcour, Harvard Business Review blog network, 7 May 2013,  http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2013/05/the_ripple_effects_you_create.html

Opening paragraph by Monique Valcour:

Each one of us holds a set of beliefs and attitudes – a mindset – that determines how we interpret and respond to situations. That mindset shapes how we interact with others, and therefore it also affects the people we work with – in ways both subtle and profound. A person with a distrustful mindset, for example, views situations at work as competitive and acts to advance his own interest at others' expense by politicking: shifting allegiances, taking credit, assigning blame, withholding or distorting information. These behaviors drive up stress and burnout in others, and undermine organizational effectiveness. On the other hand, a mindset of openness, trust, and generosity promotes behaviors that have beneficial effects on others. In his new book _Give and Take_ , Wharton professor Adam Grant marshals an impressive body of scientific evidence to show how a mindset of generosity radiates to yield broad gains. Here's one powerful research example: a 20-year longitudinal study of healthy employees found that people with social support from coworkers were two and a half times less likely to die prematurely than those without. So it's not an exaggeration to say that by being supportive of people at work, you're not just brightening their day – you're literally helping to save lives.

Monique Valcour points out how someone who is stressed at work will pass this stress along to others:

This chain may unfold as follows: a manager who believes that the best way to manage employees is to "keep them on their toes" habitually makes unreasonable demands, confronts employees publicly, provides little positive feedback, and withholds information.

When those employees go home, they may pass along their anger and impatience to their family and others around them. Monique Valcour then pointed to examples of managers who saw employees as whole people. She showed how flexibility with arrangements such as paternity and maternity leave and work-at-home opportunities can send positive signals throughout an organization. Valcour suggests that managers serve as good role models of work-life integration, that they see others as whole people, and engage others to develop solutions for common problems.

Monique Valcour @moniquevalcour [^141.81] Twitter bio and stats on 8 May 2013: Management Professor @EDHEC_BSchool. Work-Life & Career Success Researcher. HBR blogger. Exec Ed. Positive energizer/dynamic speaker. Instagram: @worklifeprof – Location: Nice, France · linkedin.com/in/moniquevalcour - 2,388 tweets. 1,475 following. 1,665 followers.

Harvard Biz Review @HarvardBiz [^141.82] Twitter bio and stats on 8 May 2013: The latest Harvard Business Review blog posts, Management Tips of the Day, Daily Stats, and more. Location: Boston, MA · http://hbr.org - 14,354 tweets. 179 following. 1,044,395 followers.

Adam Grant @AdamMGrant [^141.83] Twitter bio and stats on 25 February 2014: Wharton professor and author of GIVE AND TAKE. Dad, former springboard diver and magician, anagram aficionado, aspiring superhero, but only a supertaster. Location: Philadelphia, USA · giveandtake.com - 905 tweets. 896 following 17,394 followers.

Damaged people damage people.

5 October 2012 Junkyardigan ‏@junkyardigan [^141.84] https://twitter.com/junkyardigan/status/254252641733971968 His bio: I'm just a guy. Not that guy. The other guy. Over there. In the back. Hi. 2,813 tweets. 1,669 following. 1,969 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  142. Axioms

" **If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.** "

\- Sirius Black (Goblet of Fire)

15 January 2011 ϟHarry Potter Quotes @TheHPQuotes [^142.1] https://twitter.com/TheHPQuotes/status/26513423298732032 Bio and stats on 27 February 2013: Tweeting all Harry Potter quotes & sayings (Books, Movies, Musical, & Casts, etc.) || Other TheHP account: @TheHPFacts. Location: Wizarding World. 3,061 tweets. 54 following. 33,355 followers. Most recent tweet on 27 February 2013 was from 28 August 2012.

J.K. Rowling @jk_rowling [^142.2] Twitter bio and stats on 27 February 2013: Author. Location: Scotland · http://www.jkrowling.com - 17 tweets. 1 following. 1,620,690 followers. Her most recent tweet on 27 February 2013 was dated 2 December 2012. J.K. Rowling @jk_rowling - Twitter bio and stats on 5 November 2013: Author. Location: Scotland · jkrowling.com - 22 tweets. 3 following. 2,567,345 followers.

Humility.

Keep reminding me.

16 September 2012 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^142.3] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/247560801530044416 His bio and stats on 13 November 2012: i was born 'n stuff. Location: Hanging out in my garage. http://favstar.fm/users/RobotThomas - 33,147 tweets. 6,053 following. 5,597 followers.

Under the right conditions humility and efficiency become indistinguishable.

8 November 2010 Raza Syed @raza [^142.4] https://twitter.com/#!/raza/status/1818076207124481 His Twitter bio and stats on 18 May 2013: I write screenplays. Location: Los Angeles, CA · razasyed.org - 2,360 tweets. 198 following. 27,713 followers.

**Chehade seems to have the "humility" line down pat.** ‪#icann

22 June 2012 Kevin Murphy ‏@DomainIncite [^142.5] https://twitter.com/DomainIncite/status/216176366570315778 Twitter bio and stats on 5 November 2013: Domain name industry news, analysis and opinion. Location: London, UK · domainincite.com \- 10,388 tweets. 915 following. 4,452 followers.

Kevin Murphy refers to Fadi Chehadé, the Egyptian-American named that day to become ICANN's CEO. The appearance of humility was one of the selection criteria that led ICANN's board to hire Chehadé, despite his lack of consumer experience in the industry. His Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 5 November 2013: ICANN President @icann_president - Fadi Chehade: President and CEO of ICANN. Location: LA, Singapore, Istanbul · icann.org - 145 tweets. 266 following. 1,301 followers.

**Leaders who lack humility are destined to be humbled the hard way - by others.** ‪

#Leadership‬

29 June 2012 Mike Myatt ‏@mikemyatt [^142.6] https://twitter.com/mikemyatt/status/218728247557505024 His bio and stats on 27 February 2013: Husband/Father/Grandfather - #Leadership advisor to Fortune 500 CEOs & Boards - author Leadership Matters - Forbes Contributor. Location: United States · http://n2growth.com/blog - 7,841 tweets. 1,696 following. 36,430 followers.

# **Leadership Tip: Arrogance makes you power hungry - humility makes you a better leader.**

26 February 2013 Mike Myatt ‏@mikemyatt [^142.7] https://twitter.com/mikemyatt/status/306449180749070336 His bio and stats on 27 February 2013: Husband/Father/Grandfather - #Leadership advisor to Fortune 500 CEOs & Boards - author Leadership Matters - Forbes Contributor. Location: United States · http://n2growth.com/blog - 7,841 tweets. 1,696 following. 36,430 followers.

' **False humility is worse than pride** '

28 October 2012 Ally ‏@allygucci [^142.8] https://twitter.com/allygucci/status/262560143013715968 Bio: They told me get 'em, I got 'em. Location: Earth. 28,674 tweets. 455 following. 645 followers. She was in Abuja, the capital of Nigeria.

Better honest pride than fake humility.

1 November 2012 Iyad El-Baghdadi ‏@iyad_elbaghdadi [^142.9] https://twitter.com/iyad_elbaghdadi/status/264146841023688704 His bio: I startup startups, coach social media, tweet revolutions, and make fun of tyrants. Islamic libertarian. My projects: #ArabTyrantManual, #ArabSpringManifesto Dubai, UAE · http://www.el-baghdadi.com/manifesto - 38,711 tweets. 1,242 following. 15,112 followers.

One of the most difficult tasks we face is discerning those who care about us and those who care about themselves.

21 October 2012 I'll Have Another ‏@ainsworth [^142.10] https://twitter.com/ainsworth/status/260200319517081600 His bio and stats on 30 October 2012: We're all just one big social experiment. Florida · http://favstar.fm/users/ainsworth - 8,681 tweets. 1,028 following. 924 followers.

Try doing something nice for someone without expecting anything in return.

3 May 2012 Joel Ingersoll ‏@FlyoverJoel [^142.11] https://twitter.com/flyoverjoel/status/198234281598922752 His bio and stats on 10 December 2012: I get up and I put on pants. Location: Saint Paul, MN · http://favstar.fm/users/FlyoverJoel/most_retweeted - 9,975 tweets. 540 following. 6,314 followers.

" **I would like to be remembered as someone who did the best she could with the talent she had.** " - **J.K. Rowling**

15 January 2011 ϟHarry Potter Quotes @TheHPQuotes [^142.12] https://twitter.com/TheHPQuotes/status/26512618978021376 Bio and stats on 27 February 2013: Tweeting all Harry Potter quotes & sayings (Books, Movies, Musical, & Casts, etc.) || Other TheHP account: @TheHPFacts. Location: Wizarding World. 3,061 tweets. 54 following. 33,355 followers. Most recent tweet on 27 February 2013 was from 28 August 2012.

J.K. Rowling @jk_rowling [^142.13] Twitter bio and stats on 27 February 2013: Author. Location: Scotland · http://www.jkrowling.com - 17 tweets. 1 following. 1,620,690 followers. Her most recent tweet on 27 February 2013 was dated 2 December 2012. J.K. Rowling @jk_rowling - Twitter bio and stats on 5 November 2013: Author. Location: Scotland · jkrowling.com - 22 tweets. 3 following. 2,567,345 followers.

**If you aren't getting rejected on a daily basis, your goals aren't ambitious enough** – [link]

12 September 2010 Michael Arrington @arrington [^142.14] https://twitter.com/arrington/status/24360737269 Arrington's Twitter bio and stats on 27 February 2013: Be Excellent To Each Other. Location: Palo Alto, CA · http://www.uncrunched.com - 11,543 tweets. 2,593 following. 151,599 followers.

Michael Arrington's tweet quotes Chris Dixon. The above link resolved to a blank page on Chris Dixon's blog on 26 September 2014: http://cdixon.org/2010/09/12/getting-rejected/ On that date, DuckDuckGo found a similar post: "If you aren't getting rejected on a daily basis, your goals aren't ambitious enough," by Chris Dixon, chris dixon's blog, no date – but the post's URL indicates 12 September 2010,  http://cdixon.org/2010/09/12/if-you-arent-getting-rejected-on-a-daily-basis-your-goals-arent-ambitious-enough/ Chris Dixon @cdixon [cited in the bibliography as ^186.36] Twitter bio and stats on 26 September 2014: programming, philosophy, history, internet, startups, investing - cdixon.org - 16,525 tweets. 975 following. 143,415 tweets. Additional citation information can be found in TASD's bibliography. The quote below from Dixon's post was retrieved on 26 September 2014.

Michael Arrington's tweet resonates positively among start-up entrepreneurs. It could prove self-destructive if applied indiscriminately in other contexts.

In his blog post, Chris Dixon describes his early experiences seeking employment and being continually rejected:

"The reason this period was so useful was that it helped me develop a really thick skin. I came to realize that employers weren't really rejecting me as a person or on my potential – they were rejecting a resume. As it became depersonalized, I became bolder in my tactics. I eventually landed a job at Bessemer (thanks to their willingness to take chances and look beyond resumes), which led to getting my first VC-backed startup funded, and things got better from there.

"One of the great things about looking for a job is that your "payoff" is almost always a max function (the best of all attempts), not an average. This is also generally true for raising VC financing, doing bizdev partnerships, hiring programmers, finding good advisors/mentors, even blogging and marketing. I probably got rejected by someone once a day last week alone."

Dreams don't work unless you do.

20 February 2012 TheIlluminati @TheIlluminati [^142.15] https://twitter.com/#!/TheIlluminati/status/171834311035715584 Twitter bio and stats on 5 November 2013: Look to the light. FOLLOW the light. 1,604 tweets. 0 following. 651,097 followers.

When you share your childhood & history you don't refer to random stats and facts.

You tell stories. Your business should be no different.

8 March 2013 Epipheo @epipheo [^142.16] https://twitter.com/epipheo/status/310047591314374656

Twitter bio and stats on 12 May 2013: Spreading Truth, Stories, and Love throughout the world. Location: Portland/Cincinnati · http://epipheo.com - 2,224 tweets. 8 following. 5,410 followers.

" **We follow brands that act like people, not people who act like brands**." - @mattlemay

#monktoberfest

6 October 2011 Mike Maney @the_spinmd [^142.17] https://twitter.com/#!/the_spinmd/status/121971658956349441 His Twitter bio and stats on 27 February 2013: Ex-Calvin Klein underwear model / media junkie / stimulator of tech influencers / Well, 2 out of 3 isn't bad. Location: Doylestown, PA · http://maneydigital.com - 14,160 tweets. 1,765 following. 2,066 followers. Tweeted during a Monktoberfest conference in Portland ME that was hosted by Redmonk software.

Matt LeMay @mattlemay [^142.18] Twitter bio and stats on 27 February 2013: Writer, musician, producer/engineer, nerdface, product @ bitly, hungry. Location: Brooklyn, NY · http://www.aquestionoffrequency.com - 11,012 tweets. 1,247 following. 2,873 followers.

Dear DC people, if you can't be interesting without talking about your job, you have a problem. Go read a book.

25 August 2012 Alexander Olesker ‏@AlexOlesker [^142.19] https://twitter.com/AlexOlesker/status/239469125964013569 Bio: Aspiring blogger, athlete, and floet laureate. Location: Washington, DC. 4,003 tweets. 227 following. 410 followers.

" **It became obvious there that if a man could not survive the subtraction of his job from his identity, then there wasn't really much to him** "

5 October 2012 m1k3y ‏@m1k3y [^142.20] https://twitter.com/m1k3y/status/254405268543258624 Bio: Thus twat Zarathustra, sed the Posthuman Romantic. Location: T3H H0LY M0UNT@1N, AllNow · http://m1k3y.com/ - 35,625 tweets. 1,312 following. 1,297 followers. The second character in m1k3y is the number one. m1k3y spells Mikey in leet.

Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment.

WILL ROGERS (1879-1935)

19 November 2011 The QI Elves @qikipedia [^142.21] https://twitter.com/#!/qikipedia/status/138012722209099777 Bio and stats on 27 February 2013: Quite Interesting bits and pieces from the mythical creatures behind BBC TV's QI. Location: The bottom of Mr Fry's garden. · http://www.qi.com - 9,442 tweets. 658 following. 406,161 followers.

The world would be a better place if more of us were wise or honest enough to say 'I don't know'.

8 December 2012 Silver Kick ‏@SilverKick [^142.22] https://twitter.com/SilverKick/status/277549039417954305 Her bio and stats on 14 February 2013: thesilverkickdiaries.com/ IG: silverkickdiaries http://favstar.fm/users/SilverKick/recent - 30,464 tweets. 1,017 following. 5,442 followers.

If you're incapable of ever admitting you don't know something then I can never trust you.

25 January 2012 Manish @savvystrider [^142.23] https://twitter.com/#!/savvystrider/status/162369653086240768 His Twitter bio and stats on 4 August 2013: I like everything you like. Location: Not there · http://favstar.fm/users/savvystrider/recent - 3,314 tweets. 7,304 following. 7,268 followers.

You can always recognize smart people, they're not afraid of looking stupid

10 October 2012 Suzy Cyanide ‏@SuzyCyanide [^142.24] https://twitter.com/SuzyCyanide/status/256074559395082240 Her bio and stats on 2 November 2012: I'm unreliable, spastic, erratic, dirty, gritty, broken and jaded, but guess what... I fuckin like me this way. 2,403 tweets. 554 following. 585 followers.

Embarrassment is temporary but ignorance is permanent, said Confucius. So we should not be afraid of being temporarily embarrassed — instead of permanently ignorant.

Honesty is addictive.

16 March 2013 ShoutingGoddess ‏@ShoutingGoddess [^142.25] https://twitter.com/ShoutingGoddess/status/312961426656485377 Her bio: Don't read this shit. Go read a book. 118,208 tweets. 2,712 following. 21,302 followers.

If you're waiting to be told what to do, you don't care what you're doing.

8 January 2010 rands @rands [^142.26] https://twitter.com/#!/rands/status/7541608335 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 8,540 tweets. 499 following. 27,448 followers.

whatever you are, be a smart one.

24 April 2012 snarkarella ‏@snarkarella [^142.27] https://twitter.com/snarkarella/status/194812801775190016 Her bio and stats on 17 December 2012: i like snacking on ice cubes. 3,547 tweets. 389 following. 1,594 followers.

I don't want to survive. I want to live. –Captain (Wall E)

24 October 2011 Disneywords @disneywords [^142.28] https://twitter.com/#!/disneywords/status/128640672331874304 Twitter bio and stats on 20 August 2013: We can learn a lot of things from Disney characters. disneywordstwitter@yahoo.com · on.fb.me/disneywords. 47,296 tweets. 0 following. 2,397,526 followers.

Let's go make history.

13 September 2012 Sophia Walker ‏@TheLastGoddess [^142.29] https://twitter.com/TheLastGoddess/status/246211575059476481 Bio and stats on 12 November 2012, by which time the account had been set to private: This account still has multiple users. Try to bitch at the right one. Location: In your head · http://www.thelastgoddess.com - 38,020 tweets. 3,548 following. 4,121 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  143. Appendix

### Four Traps That Suck Meaning Out Of Work

 http://innovationcultures.tumblr.com/post/18517788267/four-traps-that-suck-meaning-out-of-work

The above link points to this post from Innovation Cultures by Stowe Boyd and Teresa Di Cairano:

"Four Traps That Suck Meaning Out Of Work," by Stowe Boyd and Teresa Di Cairano, Innovation Cultures, 29 February 2012, http://innovationcultures.tumblr.com/post/18517788267/four-traps-that-suck-meaning-out-of-work

From Innovation Cultures:

Sometimes we get so enraptured with the cult of management that we forget that there should be only as much management in a business as is necessary, and no more. One of the facts of business is that managers — 'leaders' — have tremendous power to screw things up, and suck the meaning out of work for others.

I saw a piece at the McKinsey Quarterly [link] — Teresa Amabile and Steven Kramer, How leaders kill meaning at work — that digs into this, and finds four ways that leaders can damage the lives of workers:

**Mediocrity signals** — Leaders will say innovation sever[al] times in every meeting, but if they demand **nothing but cost cutting** , they will end innovative practices, and spread a culture of low aspirations.

**Strategic 'attention deficit disorder'** — If a company rethinks its strategy every few months, and is constantly stopping initiative in order to start new ones, everyone gets whiplash and no progress is made.

Corporate Keystone Kops — **Lack of coordination** across different groups can make corporate initiatives chaotic and demotivate those trying to make progress.

Misbegotten 'big, hairy, audacious goals' — **Goals that are unattainable** or overly grandiose simply create a 'meaning vacuum' where cynicism rises and people become demotivated.

[End of quotes from Innovation Cultures. Bolding added for emphasis.]

Stowe Boyd @stoweboyd [^143.1] Twitter bio and stats on 8 November 2013: Web anthropologist, futurist, author. My focus is the tectonic shift pushing business, media, and society into an unclear and accelerating postnormal era. Location: Beacon, NY · stoweboyd.com/about - 36,318 tweets. 1,562 following. 18,475 followers.

Teresa Di Cairano @TeresaDiCairano [^143.2] Twitter bio and stats on 8 November 2013: Director, Innovation & Design - Intervista Institute - culture vulture currently doing a deep dive on innovation, design, media and branding. Location: Montreal/Miami · intervista-institute.com - 1,364 tweets. 508 following. 246 followers.

The About page on 8 November 2013 contained this introduction to Innovation Cultures:

Innovation Cultures is a collaboration between Stowe Boyd of Work Talk Research and Teresa Di Cairano of Intervista Institute: An investigation into the rapidly changing sphere of innovation, especially as a result of the rise of the social web, the freelance economy, and the changing context of work. [Source: http://innovationcultures.tumblr.com/about as it appeared on 8 November 2013.] The Twitter ID given on Innovation Cultures on 8 November 2013: @TeresaDiCairano

The source cited in Innovation Cultures for the ideas above:

"How leaders kill meaning at work - Senior executives routinely undermine creativity, productivity, and commitment by damaging the inner work lives of their employees in four avoidable ways." By Teresa Amabile and Steven Kramer, McKinsey Quarterly, January 2012, http://www.mckinsey.com/insights/leading_in_the_21st_century/how_leaders_kill_meaning_at_work

Teresa Amabile @TeresaAmabile [^143.3] Twitter bio and stats on 8 November 2013: Teresa M. Amabile is a professor & director of research at Harvard Business School. She is author of The Progress Principle and Creativity in Context. 968 tweets. 60 following. 8,578 followers.

Steven Kramer [^143.4] no Twitter ID identified on 8 November 2013. In the article's credits, Steven Kramer is described as an independent researcher and writer.

McKinsey Quarterly @McKQuarterly [^143.5] Twitter bio and stats on 8 November 2013: The business journal of @McKinsey & Company. Our goal is to offer new ways of thinking about management in the private, public, & nonprofit sector. Location: Global · bit.ly/McKinseyQ - 2,331 tweets. 2,215 following. 293,530 followers.

Workplace topics now come to a close here. The subject turns to censorship and the loss of privacy, to be followed by an examination of the microliterature of _tragedy and self-destruction_ , and then by the literary influence of the microblog form as a whole. The final and perhaps funniest topics are the twin problems of attention-seeking and social-media addiction.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  144. Internet Censorship

The UK provides the first example here of a country blocking Internet traffic.

Under the pretext of protecting children from pornography, Internet traffic in the UK is routed by default through filters that block content that is objectionable to the government. Filtering is gradually expanding to include other types of content that the government finds objectionable.

"To filter" is a euphemism for censoring, as it provides governments with the ability to block access to websites that expose official wrongdoing or that are critical of government officials. Filtering also gives ISPs and governments the ability to track citizens' activities on the Internet and to archive and data-mine those activities.

Ironically, the censorship and spying technologies employed in fledgling democracies are often imported from liberal democracies, whereas the UK imported technology from China for censorship in the UK.

British broadband provider TalkTalk confirmed in 2013 that the Chinese company Huawei fully controlled the British ISP's network-level Internet filtering service _HomeSafe_ , to include the selection of Internet addresses to block. Huawei has been the subject of high-profile concerns over state-sponsored spying. Even TalkTalk users who opt-out of HomeSafe reportedly have their Internet activities tracked.

Source of the information in the first two sentences in the paragraph above: "Security Fears Re-emerge Over UK ISP TalkTalk and Huawei Internet Filter," by Mark Jackson, ISPreview, 26 July 2013,  http://www.ispreview.co.uk/index.php/2013/07/security-fears-re-emerge-over-uk-isp-talktalk-and-huawei-internet-filter.html

Mark Jackson @ispreview [^144.1] Twitter bio and stats on 11 January 2014: Owner and Chief Editor of consumer UK Internet Service Provider (ISP) news and top broadband information website - http://ISPreview.co.uk – Location: Dorset, UK · ispreview.co.uk - 6,612 tweets. 305 following. 1,774 followers.

Huawei has denied that they have exercised control over the list of censored sites. Huawei has repeatedly denied having any links to security agencies in China. On 26 July 2013, Prime Minister David Cameron publicly praised TalkTalk's filtering system, which began operations in 2011 under another contractor.

Filtering is often justified on the grounds of filtering out porn, and child porn in particular, as if that was technically feasible. It's not, short of human-powered realtime co-browsing sessions.

The implementation of filtering can immediately strip its advocates of both Internet access and credibility, as demonstrated below.

[Link]

Man who helped draw up U.K.'s porn filters is being investigated for child pornography

4 March 2014 Majorly PhD, Expert @majorlyp [^144.2] https://twitter.com/majorlyp/status/441094335132495872

Link points to:

"Man who helped draw up U.K.'s porn filters is being investigated for child pornography," by Brad Reed, BGR, 4 March 2014, http://bgr.com/2014/03/04/uk-internet-porn-filters/

Lede:

To say that the U.K.'s Internet porn filter policy has been a predictably hilarious disaster would be understating things. The filters have blocked U.K. web users' access to legitimate health websites and have even censored websites of anti-pornography politicians simply because those websites frequently mentioned the evils of porn. And now The Guardian reports that the U.K.'s porn filters have been hit with yet another ironic public relations setback: One of the men who helped draw up the porn filter plan is being investigated for allegedly possessing child pornography.

Brad Reed @bwreedbgr [^144.3] Twitter Bio and stats on 4 March 2014: I am a writer and editor for BGR. bgr.com - 6,545 tweets. 194 following. 1,249 followers. Brad Reed bio on 4 March 2014 on BGR.com: http://bgr.com/author/brad-reed/ - @bwreedbgr brad@bgr.com +Brad Reed. Prior to joining BGR as News Editor, Brad Reed spent five years covering the wireless industry for Network World. His first smartphone was a BlackBerry but he has since become a loyal Android user.

BGR @BGR [^144.4] Twitter Bio and stats on 4 March 2014: The Three Biggest Letters In Tech. Location: New York, NY · bgr.com - 25,016 tweets. 10 following. 83,301 followers.

Majorly PhD, Expert @majorlyp - Twitter Bio and stats on 4 March 2014: Strategist on strategic geostrategic strategy. Self celebrated writer, self awarded award winner. Twitterist. Insightful. Interests: Current and other affairs - goatdroppingsofwisdom.wordpress.com - 6,204 tweets. 554 following. 10,685 followers.

The Guardian @guardian [^144.5] Twitter bio and stats on 5 March 2014: Top stories, special features, live blogs and more from http://theguardian.com – Location: London · https://www.vizify.com/the-guardian/twitter-video - 52,454 tweets. 1,071 following. 1,979,581 followers.

Wait, the INTERNET ARCHIVE is blocked by the UK's porn filters? Fuck that shit.

5 March 2014 Leo Mirani ‏@lmirani [^144.6] https://twitter.com/lmirani/status/441332975775793152 The first letter in @lmirani is a lowercase L. Twitter bio: Putting the disco in discourse. Location: London · http://qz.com/author/lmiraniqz/ - 3,494 tweets. 833 following. 1,298 followers. His Quartz bio that day, from the above link: Leo Mirani is a reporter for Quartz in London. He has previously worked at The Economist, Time Out Mumbai and Tehelka. His writing has appeared in The Independent, The Sunday Telegraph, The Guardian, AFP and Elle India and he has earned datelines from places as far afield as Moscow, Nairobi and Valletta. His reporting interests include technology, policy, media, South Asia and the European project. He likes lists.

And you can only get past it with a credit card.

No debit card.

What if you don't have a credit card?

5 March 2014 Leo Mirani ‏@lmirani [^144.7] https://twitter.com/lmirani/status/441333321281601536 The first letter in @lmirani is a lowercase L. Twitter bio: Putting the disco in discourse. Location: London · http://qz.com/author/lmiraniqz/ - 3,494 tweets. 833 following. 1,298 followers. His Quartz bio that day, from the above link: Leo Mirani is a reporter for Quartz in London. He has previously worked at The Economist, Time Out Mumbai and Tehelka. His writing has appeared in The Independent, The Sunday Telegraph, The Guardian, AFP and Elle India and he has earned datelines from places as far afield as Moscow, Nairobi and Valletta. His reporting interests include technology, policy, media, South Asia and the European project. He likes lists.

Credit cards were being used for identity and age verification. They tie user identity to online activities.

Filtering balkanizes the Internet, giving viewers in China access to a different Internet than the one that is available in Tehran, for example. There are some commonalities between the two. Twitter is blocked in both countries, for example. As controls are tightened, there will also be more Internet sessions that stay entirely within the borders of the originating country.

Rather than all traffic being routed through a central government filter, the UK delegated censorship-and-policing tasks to ISPs. The British ISP O2 then blocked the websites of charity groups serving children such as ChildLine, the NSPCC and the Samaritans. Even the websites of the British Library and British MP Claire Perry were blocked in 2013. The filtering of Perry's website is ironic, because she was using her website at claireperry.org.uk to advocate for expanded censorship.

Twitter is a frequent target of censorship and denial-of-service attacks:

**The Twitter ban in** # **Turkey is groundless, pointless, cowardly.**

Turkish people and intl community will see this as censorship.

It is.

20 March 2014 Neelie Kroes ‏@NeelieKroesEU [^144.8] https://twitter.com/NeelieKroesEU/status/446784267541291008 Bio: I am Vice President of the @EU_Commission leading @DigitalAgendaEU and #ConnectedContinent plans. I am fighting like hell for a EU you can believe in. Global (based in Brussels) · bit.ly/KroesNeelie - 7,293 tweets. 1,406 following. 96,727 followers. intl = international.

Tweeted on the day that Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan declared: "We now have a court order. We'll eradicate Twitter. I don't care what the international community says. Everyone will witness the power of the Turkish Republic." Erdoğan said in Turkish: "Twitter, mwitter kökünü kazıyacağız," which translates roughly as: "We'll eradicate Twitter."

Internet censorship can be found in many countries, but nowhere are the stakes higher than in societies struggling with extremist forces seeking to eliminate public spaces for the free exchange of ideas. These spaces help societies resist violent and extremist ideologies.

Where the stakes are high and the alternatives starkly presented, debates over censorship and privacy can be presented more explicitly than in liberal democracies, as seen below in a brief discussion that looks at censorship in Pakistan from perspectives applicable elsewhere. This is a short chapter.

Internet censorship in Pakistan has been directed against YouTube and occasionally Facebook and Twitter, rather than the Internet activities of Al-Qaeda (formed in Peshawar Pakistan in 1988-1989) and its local allies and affiliates such as Tahreek-e-Taliban Pakistan (TTP), who operate openly online. As described below, censorship favors violent extremists rather than civil society.

A big problem with defending free speech is that it often puts you on the same side as people whose agendas may be repugnant but whose rights to free expression need to be protected so that those rights can be available to all.

Again:

You don't get to pick your allies when it comes to defending free speech. You always find yourself in the trenches with people you loathe.

9 December 2012 Bernard Keane ‏@BernardKeane [^144.9] https://twitter.com/BernardKeane/status/277691719837954048 Bio: I write for Crikey. I wrote War On The Internet (http://bit.ly/warontheinternet) Location: Canberra · http://www.crikey.com.au - 42,118 tweets. 340 following. 18,550 followers. This is the second time that this tweet has been quoted here. This is one of only three tweets to be quoted more than once in the main body of this book.

The debate below on Internet censorship quickly expands into issues of Internet surveillance, which is the subject of the following chapter.

Why is open Internet access important? The answer is provided by participants at an event in Karachi, hashtagged InternetPK:

The Internet is becoming the town square for the global village of tomorrow.

#InternetPK

10 January 2014 Abdul Salam Afridi ‏@asalamafridi [^144.10] https://twitter.com/asalamafridi/status/421583156240580609 Bio: Technology Specialist. Peshawar, KPK · http://pk.linkedin.com/in/abdulsalamafridi - 579 tweets. 81 following. 181 followers. His LinkedIn profile that day had this overview: Current: ICT Manager at BytesforAll (B4A). Past: ICT Manager at INTERMEDIA Pakistan, Technical Coordinator Social Media & Web-development at Internews Europe.

Abdul Salam Afridi was at an event about Internet censorship that was held by Bytes for All, PK @bytesforall at the Avari Towers, Karachi. The event marked the release by @bytesforall of their report on Pakistan's Internet Landscape, written by Jahanzaib Haque @jhaque_ - Twitter bio and stats on that date: Journalist. Web Editor The Express Tribune. All views expressed are my own. RTs do not equal endorsement. Pakistan · http://tribune.com.pk/author/69/jahanzaib-haque/ - 10,916 tweets. 320 following. 10,407 followers.

The hashtag #InternetPK appears below in other tweets from the same event, which marked the release of Jahanzaib Haque's report.

#InternetPK - **Banning anything is always a sign of an insecurity.**

10 January 2014 SZ ‏@smokenfogm [^144.11] https://twitter.com/smokenfog/status/421591477488066560 Bio: "We are the Knights who say... NI." 21,161 tweets. 283 following. 2,040 followers.

Block people who are abusive to you. Teaching others to behave themselves is not your responsibility.

~ @drawab #InternetPK

10 January 2014 Urooj Zia ‏@UroojZia [^144.12] https://twitter.com/UroojZia/status/421604155770163201 Her bio: I research feminism, rape culture, & childhood abuse / manage @laalteyn at @bytesforall; and I talk about Karachi, & my cats & dogs. [insert witty phrase here]. laalteyn.com - 56,192 tweets. 1,253 following. 10,194 followers. Her tweet quotes @DrAwab.

Awab Alvi @DrAwab [^144.13] Twitter bio: Dentist & Orthodontist by profession, politically a PTI supporter | TED Senior Fellow & Digital Strategist for World Dental Fed | more at http://about.me/DrAwab - Location: Karachi, Pakistan · teeth.com.pk/blog - 39,105 tweets. 6,000 following. 38,060 followers.

Material against 'national security' is blocked.

But who defines national security?

#InternetPK

10 January 2014 Urooj Zia ‏@UroojZia [^144.14] https://twitter.com/UroojZia/status/421589703075192832 Her bio: I research feminism, rape culture, & childhood abuse / manage @laalteyn at @bytesforall; and I talk about Karachi, & my cats & dogs. [insert witty phrase here]. laalteyn.com - 56,192 tweets. 1,253 following. 10,194 followers.

No one knows who is on the MoIT committee that blocks websites.

#InternetPK

10 January 2014 Urooj Zia ‏@UroojZia [^144.15] https://twitter.com/UroojZia/status/421589298207813632 Her bio: I research feminism, rape culture, & childhood abuse / manage @laalteyn at @bytesforall; and I talk about Karachi, & my cats & dogs. [insert witty phrase here]. laalteyn.com - 56,192 tweets. 1,253 following. 10,194 followers.

MoIT = Ministry of Information Technology, http://www.moitt.gov.pk/

Radical, banned religious groups operate with impunity and aren't blocked online.

#InternetPK

10 January 2014 Urooj Zia ‏@UroojZia [^144.16] https://twitter.com/UroojZia/status/421591080669556736 Her bio: I research feminism, rape culture, & childhood abuse / manage @laalteyn at @bytesforall; and I talk about Karachi, & my cats & dogs. [insert witty phrase here]. laalteyn.com - 56,192 tweets. 1,253 following. 10,194 followers.

Banned groups use the Internet to pick out targets, intimidate opponents, rally support for crimes, raise and transfer money, and recruit volunteers.

Do govts conduct surveillance for natl security, or is it to control people?

#InternetPK

10 January 2014 Urooj Zia ‏@UroojZia [^144.17] https://twitter.com/UroojZia/status/421600828320137216 Her bio: I research feminism, rape culture, & childhood abuse / manage @laalteyn at @bytesforall; and I talk about Karachi, & my cats & dogs. [insert witty phrase here]. laalteyn.com - 56,192 tweets. 1,253 following. 10,194 followers.

The state has systematically worked to legitimize the invasion of citizens' online privacy.

#InternetPK

10 January 2014 Ayaz Ahmad ‏@AyazAhmad001 [^144.18] https://twitter.com/AyazAhmad001/status/421596835820498944 Bio: Journo. Interested in regional and international politics. Love Food and travelling. Certified troublemaker. Opinions r personal nd RT's r NOT endorsment. 8,912 tweets. 237 following. 219 followers.

Pakistan is still at the stage where NSA was, perhaps, 15 years ago.

#InternetPK

10 January 2014 Urooj Zia ‏@UroojZia [^144.19] https://twitter.com/UroojZia/status/421597316521656320 Her bio: I research feminism, rape culture, & childhood abuse / manage @laalteyn at @bytesforall; and I talk about Karachi, & my cats & dogs. [insert witty phrase here]. laalteyn.com - 56,192 tweets. 1,253 following. 10,194 followers.

The Internet treats censorship as a malfunction and routes around it.

#InternetPK

10 January 2014 Abdul Salam Afridi ‏@asalamafridi [^144.20] https://twitter.com/asalamafridi/status/421593743985082368 Bio: Technology Specialist. Peshawar, KPK · http://pk.linkedin.com/in/abdulsalamafridi - 579 tweets. 81 following. 181 followers. His LinkedIn profile that day had this overview: Current: ICT Manager at BytesforAll (B4A). Past: ICT Manager at INTERMEDIA Pakistan, Technical Coordinator Social Media & Web-development at Internews Europe.

Circumventing censorship is good for the entire ecosystem. There will come a point where everyone is behind a proxy.

#InternetPK

10 January 2014 Urooj Zia ‏@UroojZia [^144.21] https://twitter.com/UroojZia/status/421597629668417536 Her bio: I research feminism, rape culture, & childhood abuse / manage @laalteyn at @bytesforall; and I talk about Karachi, & my cats & dogs. [insert witty phrase here]. laalteyn.com - 56,192 tweets. 1,253 following. 10,194 followers.

**Download my report -** # **Pakistan's Internet Landscape here ppl:**

 http://content.bytesforall.pk/sites/default/files/MappingReportFinal%20-%20Published.pdf

10 January 2014 Jahanzaib Haque ‏@jhaque_ [^144.22] https://twitter.com/jhaque_/status/421637486591225856 His Twitter bio and stats: Journalist. Web Editor The Express Tribune. All views expressed are my own. RTs do not equal endorsement. Pakistan · http://tribune.com.pk/author/69/jahanzaib-haque/ - 10,916 tweets. 320 following. 10,407 followers.

The cover of the report is dated November 2013, although the report was not finalized and publicly released until 10 January 2014.

The report was also posted that day on Jahanzaib Haque's blog:

Pakistan's Internet Landscape, 10 January 2014,  https://jhaque.wordpress.com/2014/01/10/pakistans-internet-landscape/

The report was initially available on:

 https://www.dropbox.com/sh/qxpcwn1n85q2we1/o9mwXELn2r/Internet%20Landscape%20of%20Pakistan.pdf

On 2 December 2013, unknown assailants attacked the offices of The Express Tribune in Karachi, where Jahanzaib Haque worked. Three people were injured during the explosions and shootings that afternoon. It was the second such attack in four months.

An example of censorship:

WHY THE FUCK IMDB is blocked?

PTCL at it again!?

can't access through regular connection. @imdb

20 November 2013 FurSid ‏@fursid [^144.23] https://twitter.com/fursid/status/403099521913479168 Bio and stats on 10 March 2014: Photography + Food + Travel + Culture; GettyImages Contributer, UI/UX Dev | Inquisitive. Explorer. Blogger: http://fursid.com – Location: Karachi, Pakistan · j.mp/fursidfb - 68,707 tweets. 1,062 following. 5,329 followers. His tweets usually have correct grammar and are notably polite.

Replies to this tweet said that IMDb was being blocked for customers of other ISPs in that country.

IMDb @IMDb - Bio and stats on 10 March 2014: The folks at IMDb talking about movies, TV and celebrities. Location: Seattle · imdb.com – 10,219 tweets. 276 following. 1,094,657 followers.

Reply:

@fursid we block what we want

we can do anything

Suck it!

10 March 2014 PTCL ‏@ptcIcares [^144.24] https://twitter.com/ptcIcares/status/442880844395315200 Bio of this parody account: Worst ISP in the history of all ISPs. Location: Pakistan. 33 tweets. 1 following. 1 follower.

• • • • •

Azad Hind:

Blocking porn is impossible, causes harm as literary content is also blocked, Govt of India tells top court.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Blocking-porn-sites-would-cause-greater-harm-Centre-tells-Supreme-Court/articleshow/34692564.cms

6 May 2014 https://twitter.com/aem76us/status/463615851519049728

Azad Hind means free India. It was a slogan and rallying cry of the independence movement.

Lede:

NEW DELHI: Blocking all websites with pornographic content in the country is not possible and it would cause more harm as literary content containing such words would also not be available for public on internet, the Centre told the Supreme Court on Monday.

The link in the tweet points to this article, in which the above quote appears:

"Blocking porn sites would cause greater harm, Centre tells Supreme Court," by PTI, Times of India, 5 May 2014, http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Blocking-porn-sites-would-cause-greater-harm-Centre-tells-Supreme-Court/articleshow/34692564.cms

Press Trust of India @PTI_News [^144.25] Twitter bio and stats on 8 May 2014: PTI ! We bring the World to you... Location: New Delhi, India · ptinews.com. 19,848 tweets. 1 following. 212,546 followers.

Times of India @timesofindia [^144.26] Twitter bio and stats on 8 May 2014: News. Views. Analysis. Conversations. India's number 1 digital news destination and the world's largest-selling English newspaper. Location: New Delhi. timesofindia.com. Tweets 112,116 tweets. 369 following. 1,834,264 tweets.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  145. Privacy and Anonymity in Modern Society

Support for the NSA: 146

Manish Vij: 147

Targeting the messengers: 148

Sarah Harrison: 149

Aaron Swartz: 150

Edward Snowden: 151

Criticism of Snowden and Greenwald: 152

The defense: 153

Closing society's escape valves: 154

Ladar Levison: 155

LOVEINT: 156

Reactions to mass surveillance: 157

Handygate: 158

Strengthening infrastructure: 159

Privacy in free society: 160

Censorship versus surveillance? 161

Local governments and privacy: 162

**'Privacy' is** http:// **Dictionary.com 's word of the year**

http://vrge.co/1i03mxn

17 December 2013 The Verge ‏@verge [^145.1] https://twitter.com/verge/status/413112137515417600 Twitter bio: The intersection of technology, science, art, and culture. Location: The Universe · theverge.com. 39,401 tweets. 111 following. 343,708 followers.

Dictionary.com @dictionarycom [^145.2] Twitter bio and stats on 17 December 2013: The official Twitter feed for http://Dictionary.com , the leading digital dictionary. Tweeting up-to-date trends in language. Location: Oakland, CA · dictionary.reference.com. 3,357 tweets. 26,215 following. 126,380 followers.

Points to:

"'Privacy' is Dictionary.com's word of the year," by Josh Lowensohn, The Verge, 17 December 2013,  http://www.theverge.com/2013/12/17/5221792/privacy-is-dictionary-coms-word-of-the-year

Josh Lowensohn @Josh [^145.3] Twitter bio and stats on 17 December 2013: The other Josh @ The Verge, and frequent photographer. You'll see my latest from both on here. Location: San Francisco, CA · JoshLowensohn.com. 5,520 tweets. 1,221 following. 17,727 followers.

See also: Infographics » The Year in Privacy: 2013, http://blog.dictionary.com/infographic-privacy/

" **Anonymity is fundamental to democratic culture, freedom of speech, peaceful resistance to repression, and protecting minority rights.** "

14 August 2013 zooko ‏@zooko [^145.4] https://twitter.com/zooko/status/367771954293391360 His Twitter bio and stats on 15 August 2013: Founder, CEO, and Customer Support Rep at http://LeastAuthority.com / mailto:zooko@leastauthority.com / faces of my tweeps: http://www.twilk.com/u/zooko - Location: Boulder, Colorado, USA, Earth · zooko.com - 16,873 tweets. 437 following. 2,580 followers.

... **begins this recent cryptography paper.**

14 August 2013 zooko ‏@zooko [^145.5] https://twitter.com/zooko/status/367772006822866944 His Twitter bio and stats on 15 August 2013: Founder, CEO, and Customer Support Rep at http://LeastAuthority.com / mailto:zooko@leastauthority.com / faces of my tweeps: http://www.twilk.com/u/zooko - Location: Boulder, Colorado, USA, Earth · zooko.com - 16,873 tweets. 437 following. 2,580 followers.

Public discussions of privacy in modern society gained prominence in 2012 with the news that US FBI investigators had been reading the personal emails of the director of the US Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) at the time, General (Rtd.) David H. Petraeus. The recently retired four-star general assumed that he had been corresponding privately. Investigators also read the personal emails of John R. Allen, then a four-star general and Petraeus' successor as the commander of US and NATO forces in Afghanistan. The two were corresponding personally with women who were not their wives in what became known as the _Petraeus scandal_.

The Petraeus scandal provided an early illustration of government surveillance capabilities against targets who should have been better prepared to protect their personal privacy, given that the two men were both the initiators and clients of considerably more sophisticated surveillance operations. The surveillance efforts employed by the government in the Petraeus scandal became the subject of criticism once they were made public.

The bottom line:

a) Big Brother is everywhere

b) It's totally incompetent.

Not exactly the best combination.

12 November 2012 Evgeny Morozov ‏@evgenymorozov [^145.6] https://twitter.com/evgenymorozov/status/268185917745922048 His Twitter bio and stats on 12 June 2013: There are idiots. Look around. Location: Republic of Mischiefology · http://www.amazon.com/Save-Everything-Click-Here-Technological/dp/1610391381/ \- 18,633 tweets. 2,981 following. 39,625 followers.

In negative utopias, humans are numbers, indistinguishable from machines.

Name, Rank & RFID No.

6 March 2012 m1k3y @m1k3y [^145.7] https://twitter.com/#!/m1k3y/status/177287695050080256 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: Thus twat Zarathustra, sed the Posthuman Romantic. Location: T3H H0LY M0UNT@1N, AllNow · http://m1k3y.com/ - 36,118 tweets. 1,332 following. 1,312 followers. m1k3y is a futurist in Australia. The second character in m1k3y is the number one. m1k3y spells Mikey in leet.

According to the Third Geneva Convention of 1929, updated in 1949, military personnel who become prisoners of war are only required to divulge four pieces of information to their captors: name, rank, service number and date of birth. Above, m1k3y ‏replaces service number with radio-frequency identification (RFID) tag numbers. Separate service numbers were discontinued in the US military on 1 July 1969. In their place, Social Security Numbers are being used. This has privacy implications because Social Security Numbers are a popular target of identity thieves, who use them to commit financial fraud.

In June 2013, privacy in modern society became a bigger issue with the publication of secret information leaked to the Guardian and other publications by the NSA-contractor-employee Edward Snowden on the global surveillance activities of the US National Security Agency (NSA) and its collection programs such as PRISM. The image of US technology companies and the cloud was forever changed.

In the post-PRISM world, using US tech companies is kind of an "I agree" to letting the US govt. read your stuff.

22 June 2013 Ram Mohammad Singh ‏@SohailAbid [^145.8] https://twitter.com/SohailAbid/status/348391752190791681 Bio: Director at Folk Punjab Foundation. We support people and organizations working for the Punjabi language. Islamabad, Pakistan · sohailabid.com - 28,832 tweets. 172 following. 2,602 followers.

Cisco, a leading supplier of Internet-infrastructure components, experienced a 12% decline in sales in emerging markets in quarterly results announced on 13 November 2013, the first quarter following the news about Edward Snowden's document releases. Analysts had expected a 6% increase in Cisco's sales in emerging markets during that period, instead of a major loss.

The company blamed its disastrous results on fears about the NSA being able to secretly collect information from equipment sold by US companies. In after-hours trading that day, Cisco shares lost 10% of their value. Cisco's CEO John Chambers said in a conference call that day that he expected other US technology companies to be similarly impacted.

Source of data above: "Cisco's disastrous quarter shows how NSA spying could freeze US companies out of a trillion-dollar opportunity," by Christopher Mims, Quartz, 13 November 2013,  http://qz.com/147313/ciscos-disastrous-quarter-shows-how-nsa-spying-could-freeze-us-companies-out-of-a-trillion-dollar-opportunity/

Christopher Mims @mims [^145.9] Twitter bio on 13 November 2013: Technology and science reporter for @qz Tips: christopher@qz.com – Location: Baltimore, New York · slipr.com - 40,654 tweets. 4,246 following. 16,589 followers.

Quartz @qz [^145.10] Twitter bio on 13 November 2013: Quartz is a new kind of global business news outlet. Sign up for the Quartz Daily Brief: http://bit.ly/quartzbrief - Location: The World · qz.com - 13,559 tweets. 55 following. 61,813 followers.

@rmogull **the NSA killed the cloud. Putting anything in the cloud means giving the NSA a copy.**

13 August 2013 Robert David Graham ‏@ErrataRob [^145.11] https://twitter.com/ErrataRob/status/367358811444482048 Twitter bio and stats on 16 August 2013: Invented network IPS, created BlackICE, cyber-insecurity expert. Location: In Las Vegas at DefCon 21 · erratasec.blogspot.com. 16,865 tweets. 933 following. 5,642 followers.

A year later, the cloud was booming. Amazon Web Services (AWS), the industry leader with 57% of the cloud-services market in 2014, reporting a 40% annual revenue increase that year from its cloud-services business. Microsoft's Azure cloud-services platform, the industry runner-up and AWS's cross-town rival, also benefitted from a fast-growing market, doubling its market share from 6% to 12% in 2014.

Articles published in the Guardian about massive, suspicionless data collection efforts opened a public debate about privacy in free societies.

The Guardian website talking about surveillance by NSA while at the same time having 14 trackers on every page - Irony?

10 June 2013 jwildeboer ‏@jwildeboer [^145.12] https://twitter.com/jwildeboer/status/344035799156801536 Twitter bio and stats on 25 June 2013: Open Source Evangelist.Open Standards Fundamentalist.Software Patents worst nightmare.Decentralizing whatever exists.Citizen of the first Transnational Republic. Location: EMEA · jan.wildeboer.net - 24,422 tweets. 538 following. 1,940 followers.

I don't mind if the NSA reads my tweets, as long as they fave them.

10 June 2013 Jess Dweck @TheDweck [^145.13] https://twitter.com/TheDweck/status/344301082077446144 Twitter bio and stats on 27 June 2013: Writer for Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. Life coach. http://instagram.com/jessdweck - Location: New York City. 4,640 tweets. 578 following. 11,965 followers.

Privacy debates were slow to come to grips with questions raised by leaks of classified information, and how the collection of vast amounts of sensitive data could lead to that data being made public. Sonali Ranade, below, points to the January 2010 release by USA Private Chelsea (formerly Bradley) Manning of sensitive US diplomatic information regarding Rahul Gandhi ("RaGA"), whose father, grandmother and great grandfather were all prime ministers of India. Rahul Gandhi, as heir to his family's political dynasty, was described as a lackluster leader in a diplomatic cable originating from the US embassy in New Delhi. The release of this diplomatic cable damaged the reputation in India of that country's largest political party, Congress-I, which was defeated in India's national elections of May 2014. It also damaged US relations with Congress-I leaders, who had the security barriers that protected the US Embassy in New Delhi removed on 17 December 2013 over an unrelated matter.

See: RAHUL GANDHI: LACKLUSTER LEADER, secret cable, date: 3 March 2005. Canonical ID: 05NEWDELHI1661_a Published by WikiLeaks. URL:  http://www.wikileaks.org/plusd/cables/05NEWDELHI1661_a.html

WikiLeaks @wikileaks [^145.14] Twitter bio and stats on 8 November 2013: We open governments. Location: Everywhere · wikileaks.org - 25,768 tweets. 3 following. 2,080,651 followers.

Chelsea Manning is responsible for _Cablegate_ , in which 251,287 US State Department cables were made public in full, unredacted form by WikiLeaks in September 2011. The secret diplomatic cables originated from 271 US embassies and consulates in 180 countries, generated from December 1966 to February 2010. Manning also released 500,000 US Army reports that became known as the Iraq War logs and the Afghan War logs, many of which were published by WikiLeaks and other organizations in 2010.

The availability and release of so much secret information breached the privacy of Americans and their international counterparts working on military, civil affairs and civilian-development projects overseas, potentially jeopardizing their physical safety and career prospects. These releases made Americans bigger targets abroad, along with anyone who works with them. While many of Manning's releases constitute whistleblowing, this does not alleviate the breaches of personal and professional privacy that accompanied those data dumps.

My most popular post ever, one last time: Full report on what Pfc. Manning's leaks revealed--an amazingly long list. http://bit.ly/11yqXZ4

23 August 2013 Greg Mitchell ‏@GregMitch ^145.15] https://twitter.com/GregMitch/status/370909829411262464 His Twitter bio and stats on 25 August 2013: Daily writer for The Nation. Author of 13 books on politics and history. Longtime ed. at Editor & Publisher and Crawdaddy. Link below for books and blog. Location: New York City area · gregmitchellwriter.blogspot.com. 49,930 tweets. 795 following. 26,151 followers. Full URL of Greg Mitchell's blog post, "What Manning Revealed," 21 August 2013: [ http://gregmitchellwriter.blogspot.ca/2013/06/as-debate-continues-what-manning.html

The post by Greg Mitchell above formed the basis for an update to his e-book, written with Kevin Gosztola: Truth and Consequences: The U.S. vs. Private Manning, Kindle edition, August 2013.

The post by Greg Mitchell above describes how the US military ignored the killing and torture of Iraqis during the US-led military occupation of that country from 2003 until 2011. Those incidents prompted many Iraqis to turn against Western occupation forces. This pattern was repeated during the US-led occupation of Afghanistan from 2001 until 2014. Greg Mitchell said that Manning's releases show how poorly the media covered both wars.

There has been little public debate about how responsibility might be shared among US officials who enabled such a treasure trove of sensitive information to be made available to an Army private. Cablegate contributed to the outrage behind the _Arab Spring_ — the popular uprisings that began on 18 December 2010 and overthrew established regimes in Tunisia, Libya, Egypt and Yemen.

Sonali Ranade:

Manning was a classic example of how a whole archive of diplomatic info was routinely shared with soldiers who had no need to know.

7 July 2013 SonaliRanade ‏@sonaliranade [^145.16] https://twitter.com/sonaliranade/status/354083877758828545 Her Twitter bio: Trader. Location: Mumbai girl, cud B elsewhere. · sonaliranade.com. 163,465 tweets. 517 following. 54,283 followers.

Why did Manning in Iraq need to know what the State Dept thot of Rahul Gandhi as a person? Yet the info was there 4 him.

7 July 2013 SonaliRanade ‏@sonaliranade [^145.17] https://twitter.com/sonaliranade/status/354084442119225346 Her Twitter bio: Trader. Location: Mumbai girl, cud B elsewhere. · sonaliranade.com. 163,465 tweets. 517 following. 54,283 followers. thot = thought.

Chinese Walls are like the angels in fairy tales. They exist if you believe in them.

7 July 2013 SonaliRanade ‏@sonaliranade [^145.18] https://twitter.com/sonaliranade/status/354084943657304066 Her Twitter bio: Trader. Location: Mumbai girl, cud B elsewhere. · sonaliranade.com. 163,465 tweets. 517 following. 54,283 followers.

Ambitious and suspicionless data collection programs, undertaken in part by private companies (acting on behalf of the US government and supported by secret laws and secret courts) have accumulated confidential information on individuals around the globe, information that the government is unable to keep private, as Manning and Snowden demonstrate. Everyone is at risk of having the most personal aspects of their lives made public, with potentially ruinous consequences.

2nd-law of security dynamics: access rights never decrease over time but evolve to max entropy: everyone granted access to everything

20 February 2014 Cem Paya ‏@randomoracle [^145.19] https://twitter.com/randomoracle/status/436744755066597376 Bio and stats on 28 February 2014: Head of security for Airbnb, NYC refugee adjusting to Bay Area life, MSFT & Google alumni (Opinions expressed are my own; I do not speak for my employer.) Location: San Francisco · randomoracle.wordpress.com - 1,290 tweets. 179 following. 311 followers.

Ambitious and suspicionless data collection programs had been operating for several years before the Guardian's revelations in June 2013. The Guardian articles, based largely on information from Edward Snowden, revealed the secret workings of a shadow government. It brought fears about a dystopian future into the present. Those fears blurred distinctions between science fiction and contemporary politics, giving science-fiction writers a special place in public discourse.

Jonathan Dotse @afrocyberpunk, a science-fiction writer in Accra, Ghana, posted these early reactions to the Guardian's news articles about the nature and extent of NSA surveillance:

**Guys, I don't want to live in a surveillance society. I've read more than enough scifi to know exactly what happens next.** # **PRISM**

12 June 2013 Jonathan Dotse ‏@afrocyberpunk [^145.20] https://twitter.com/afrocyberpunk/status/344710262688980992 Bio: Technology Evangelist - Science Fiction Writer - Freelance Philosopher. Location: Accra :: Ghana :: West Africa · afrocyberpunk.com - 3,222 tweets. 353 following. 604 followers.

Those of you waiting to find a dead spook in your closet to know that your government has gone too far, keep waiting.

12 June 2013 Jonathan Dotse ‏@afrocyberpunk [^145.21] https://twitter.com/afrocyberpunk/status/344717747944583168 Bio: Technology Evangelist - Science Fiction Writer - Freelance Philosopher. Location: Accra :: Ghana :: West Africa · afrocyberpunk.com - 3,222 tweets. 353 following. 604 followers. Spook = spy.

Of course, I'm paranoid. My ancestors didn't survive 2 billion years of evolution by being gullible and complacent.

12 June 2013 Jonathan Dotse ‏@afrocyberpunk [^145.22] https://twitter.com/afrocyberpunk/status/344719799026335744 Bio: Technology Evangelist - Science Fiction Writer - Freelance Philosopher. Location: Accra :: Ghana :: West Africa · afrocyberpunk.com - 3,222 tweets. 353 following. 604 followers.

**Children born during this era may well grow up to find that their entire lives have been meticulously documented and archived by the** # **NSA.**

12 June 2013 Jonathan Dotse ‏@afrocyberpunk [^145.23] https://twitter.com/afrocyberpunk/status/344709678833471490 Bio: Technology Evangelist - Science Fiction Writer - Freelance Philosopher. Location: Accra :: Ghana :: West Africa · afrocyberpunk.com - 3,222 tweets. 353 following. 604 followers.

Well, that's my rant for the morning.

Thanks, guys, I'll be here all week.

12 June 2013 Jonathan Dotse ‏@afrocyberpunk [^145.24] https://twitter.com/afrocyberpunk/status/344727909367418881 Bio: Technology Evangelist - Science Fiction Writer - Freelance Philosopher. Location: Accra :: Ghana :: West Africa · afrocyberpunk.com - 3,222 tweets. 353 following. 604 followers.

A computer-security professional, known only as @thegrugq, added to the debate:

**Terrorism is not an existential threat to democracy, but mass surveillance is.** # **justsaying**

10 June 2013 the grugq ‏@thegrugq [^145.25] https://twitter.com/thegrugq/status/344127674756759552 Twitter bio and stats on 29 June 2013: Information Security Pornstar. Location: Bangkok, Thailand · grugq.github.com - 26,526 tweets. 209 following. 8,251 followers.

Going beyond ‏@thegrugq above, some readers may see the choice between terrorism and mass surveillance as a false dilemma.

Crispin J. Burke took a different view:

Those of you who think the USG could undertake a massive surveillance program clearly didn't spend the last day dealing with DOIM.

12 June 2013 Crispin J. Burke ‏@CrispinBurke [^145.26] https://twitter.com/CrispinBurke/status/344916594385883136 Army Aviator, US military blogger, self-described pocketful of awesomeness. Does not represent the views of the Department of Defense. Location: San Antonio, Texas · about.me/crispinburke - 40,852 tweets. 1,535 following. 3,463 followers. Crispin J. Burke's articles in Medium: https://medium.com/@CrispinBurke

USG = US government. DOIM refers to the US Army's Directorate of Information Management, established in the mid-1980s to manage telephones and computer systems at US Army installations. DOIM has been criticized for being slow and for failing to meet client expectations.

Crispin J. Burke later tweeted a link to an article in the Wall Street Journal that described the limits of NSA surveillance and gave special attention to procedures for filtering out and discarding data on Americans:

Guide: What you need to know about new details of NSA surveillance http://shrd.by/n6OxPa via @WSJ

20 August 2013 Crispin J. Burke ‏@CrispinBurke [^145.27] https://twitter.com/CrispinBurke/status/370011433654042624 His Twitter bio and stats on 21 August 2013: Army Aviator, US military blogger, self-described pocketful of awesomeness. Does not represent the views of the Department of Defense. Location: San Antonio, Texas · about.me/crispinburke. 44,058 tweets. 1,680 following. 3,909 followers. Crispin J. Burke's articles in Medium: https://medium.com/@CrispinBurke

Points to:

"What You Need to Know on New Details of NSA Spying," by Jennifer Valentino-Devries and Siobhan Gorman, The Wall Street Journal, 20 August 2013,  http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887324108204579025222244858490.html?mod=wsj_share_tweet \- On 16 December 2013 this article was found to have been moved behind the WSJ's paywall.

Jennifer Valentino @jenvalentino [^145.28] Twitter bio and stats on 21 August 2013: Jennifer Valentino-DeVries: a reporter with Page One of The Wall Street Journal. PGP key, jabber address, etc. here: https://jennifervalentinodevries.com/ - My work here · http://topics.wsj.com/person/V/jennifer-valentino-devries/7392 - 2,286 tweets. 328 following. 5,130 followers.

Siobhan Gorman @Gorman_Siobhan [^145.29] Twitter bio and stats on 21 August 2013: Intelligence Correspondent, The Wall Street Journal. Juggler. Wine enthusiast. Kisser of boo-boos. 70 tweets. 187 following. 507 followers.

The Wall Street Journal @WSJ [^145.30] Twitter bio and stats on 21 August 2013: Breaking news and features from The Wall Street Journal. Tweets by @rubinafillion @fieldproducer @demetria_g @elanazak @allisonWSJ @mayaj and @lheron. Location: New York, NY · wsj.com. 59,084 tweets. 743 following. 3,196,824 followers.

Privacy advocates voice their skepticism:

Big shout out to @ioerror for saying it like it is: Demonstrate the 'good impact' of surveillance

#sif13

22 May 2013 Bolo Bhi ‏@BoloBhi [^145.31] https://twitter.com/BoloBhi/status/337116967053975552 Twitter bio and stats of @BoloBhi on 29 June 2013: Advocacy-Policy-Research Twitter managed by -Bolo Bhi Team @sanasaleem, @fariehaaziz & @jehan_ara. bolobhi.org - 2,354 tweets. 257 following. 1,125 followers.

Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 29 June 2013 of Jacob Appelbaum @ioerror [^145.32] Ethics enthusiast && الحب و الحياة في وقت قصير && cast iron club. Location: The Village; Be Seeing You! · appelbaum.net - 44,954 tweets. 1,796 following. 46,079 followers.

Skepticism about the "good impact" of surveillance programs was heightened by the failure of US intelligence agencies and the Boston police to anticipate and prevent the terrorist bombings at the Boston Marathon on 15 April 2013, despite an explicit warning two years earlier from Russia's intelligence agency that at least one of the bombers was a potential terrorist. Twin bombs killed five and injured 280 near the finish line of the marathon.

If not used for preventing terrorist attacks, how could massive amounts of private data be employed? Individuals targeted for collection reportedly included at least two judges on the secret court (called the FISA court) established to provide oversight of collection activities. Also reportedly targeted by the NSA for monitoring were US President Barack Obama during his 2004 election campaign for the US Senate, a US Supreme Court justice (before he or she joined the court), and members of the intelligence oversight committees in the United States Congress and their staff. Such data could be used for blackmail and intimidation, especially if the data were to find its way to parties with interests hostile to those individuals or to the United States. The data could also be released (or leaked) to foreign governments and to the global public, as with the 251,287 US diplomatic cables released en masse by Chelsea Manning in Cablegate.

Source of information on targeting reports: "Bush-Era NSA Whistleblower Makes Most Explosive Allegations Yet About Extent of Gov't Surveillance — and You Won't Believe Who He Says They Spied On," by Jason Howerton in TheBlaze.com, 20 June 2013.  http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/06/20/bush-era-nsa-whistleblower-makes-most-explosive-allegations-yet-about-true-extent-of-govt-surveillance/

Twitter bio and stats on 29 June 2013 of Jason Howerton @jason_howerton [^145.33] Follower of Christ. Evening Editor at @theblaze. Interested in the truth, wherever it leads. The truth has NO agenda. Opinions are my own. Location: Dallas, TX · theblaze.com - 16,962 tweets. 977 following. 2,666 followers.

Twitter bio and stats on 29 June 2013 of TheBlaze @theblaze [^145.34] TheBlaze is a multi-platform news, information, entertainment, and e-commerce destination that offers high-quality programming and reporting. New York, NY · TheBlaze.com. 23,273 tweets. 166 following. 192,338 followers.

For a broader context, see:

International Principles on the Application of Human Rights to Communications Surveillance. https://en.necessaryandproportionate.org/text

30 July 2013 Open Rights Group ‏@OpenRightsGroup [^145.35] https://twitter.com/OpenRightsGroup/status/362638659683500035 Twitter bio and stats on 5 August 2013: The Open Rights Group exists to preserve and promote your rights in the digital age. We are funded by individuals who care about their digital rights. Location: UK · openrightsgroup.org - 3,799 tweets. 4,173 following. 17,974 followers.

Points to:

International Principles on the Application of Human Rights to Communications Surveillance, final version. Open Rights Group, 10 July 2013. https://en.necessaryandproportionate.org/text

The Open Rights Group offered guidelines above for how a country, any country, could undertake communications surveillance. The guidelines were published at a time when many national governments, upon reading about some of the NSA's capabilities, were rushing to reproduce those capabilities and to direct them, at least in part, against their own nationals. Scores of human-rights groups around the world are signatories to the final version of the Open Rights Group's _International Principles on the Application of Human Rights to Communications Surveillance_.

• • • • •

How was news about Edward Snowden's disclosures of NSA's data-collection programs treated outside of the United States? European reactions are described here by John Schindler, a former NSA employee:

**Been in Europe this week, where** # **Snowden story is huge in media. Lots of coverage, but surprisingly little real discussion about it. (1)**

11 July 2013 John Schindler ‏@20committee [^145.36] https://twitter.com/20committee/status/355260606254809088 Bio: Professor, Naval War College; Chair, PfP CT Working Group; Senior Fellow, Boston University; former NSA & NAVSECGRU - talking intel & security, views my own. Location: Newport, RI · 20committee.com - 8,387 tweets. 195 following. 3,388 followers.

**(2) Pretty clear anybody informed on security matters expected** # **NSA to be doing its job. The problem is that this comes on top of vast EU...**

11 July 2013 John Schindler ‏@20committee [^145.37] https://twitter.com/20committee/status/355260897188515841 Bio: Professor, Naval War College; Chair, PfP CT Working Group; Senior Fellow, Boston University; former NSA & NAVSECGRU - talking intel & security, views my own. Location: Newport, RI · 20committee.com - 8,387 tweets. 195 following. 3,388 followers.

(3) Disillusionment with USA generally and with Obama especially. Ed arrives on top of GTMO, Iraq & AFG, drones etc. Bad visuals all around.

11 July 2013 John Schindler ‏@20committee [^145.38] https://twitter.com/20committee/status/355261190022250497 Bio: Professor, Naval War College; Chair, PfP CT Working Group; Senior Fellow, Boston University; former NSA & NAVSECGRU - talking intel & security, views my own. Location: Newport, RI · 20committee.com - 8,387 tweets. 195 following. 3,388 followers.

EU = European Union.

Ed = Edward Snowden.

GTMO = The Guantanamo Bay detainment and interrogation facility of the United States military, located within the US naval base at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

AFG = Afghanistan.

Later that year, John Schindler tweeted links to news reports about spying on US diplomats by the intelligence agencies of Brazil and France. Brazilian officials had been particularly vocal in their public condemnations of US collection efforts in Brazil, which had been exposed by Edward Snowden. The subsequent news about the Brazilian government's own surveillance practices undermined their credibility on the issue.

In Brazil, as in most European countries, the activities of a nation's intelligence agencies are rarely specified or explicitly referenced in that country's media or in public discussions. Such topics are easier to discuss openly in the United States, where there is legislative oversight of intelligence operations, at least in principle. The lack of openness in other societies increases the likelihood of hypocritical approaches to the activities of the United States.

Turns out French have a NSA-type surveillance program as well. But it only works 35 hours a week.

Independence Day, 4 July 2013, ian bremmer ‏@ianbremmer [^145.39] https://twitter.com/ianbremmer/status/352867399172755456 His Twitter bio and stats on 21 October 2013: political scientist, author, ostensible intellectual entrepreneur, president of @eurasiagroup. ianbremmer.com - 9,489 tweets. 925 following. 35,713 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  146. Support for the NSA

Not everyone saw NSA surveillance as a harbinger of the apocalypse.

*NSA builds a detailed model of my life*

*they learn some hard lessons about love, the importance of flossing, & the power of forgiveness.*

6 June 2013 Drew Tipson ‏@dtipson [^146.1] https://twitter.com/dtipson/status/342628790758952960 His bio and stats on 12 June 2013: I welcome and am fascinated by your many marvelous opinions. Location: Washington, DC 20010 · favstar.fm/users/dtipson - 35,054 tweets. 1,088 following. 806 followers.

Oracle CEO Larry Ellison on NSA tracking: "Great," "essential."

13 August 2013 CBS This Morning ‏@CBSThisMorning [^146.2] https://twitter.com/CBSThisMorning/status/367248663435051008 Twitter bio: The news is back in morning news. Location: Studio 57, CBS Broadcast Ctr. · CBSThisMorning.com. 30,674 tweets. 376 following. 79,840 followers.

Source:

Larry Ellison talks Apple, Google, Steve Jobs' last days, and privacy in a rare interview: http://cbsn.ws/1a1w9OH

13 August 2013 Charlie Rose ‏@charlierose [^146.3] https://twitter.com/charlierose/status/367265439799197697 Twitter bio: Host of @CBSThisMorning and @CharlieRoseShow, engaging the world's most interesting people in conversation each morning and night. Tweets by staff. charlierose.com. 1,685 tweets. 592 following. 57,011 followers.

Visual setting:

Today I feel almost as lazy as Charlie Rose's set designers

2 November 2013 Ed Lee ‏@smedlee [^146.4] https://twitter.com/smedlee/status/396776027835224064 Bio: Writer for the teevee and other stuff. From Jersey. In LA. Los Angeles, CA · favstar.fm/users/smedlee - 2,135 tweets. 886 following. 2,567 followers.

It's kind of hard to believe that "NSA Accused of Spying" headlines actually exist.

30 June 2013 Blogs of War ‏@BlogsofWar [^146.5] https://twitter.com/BlogsofWar/status/351540277657354241 Bio: @johnwlittle has been breaking and explaining critical national security, intelligence, and tech stories since 2002. High volume feed. 1 (443) 681-9430. blogsofwar.com - 45,746 tweets. 22,802 following. 26,727 followers

In 1953, Time called police using radar to catch speeders "Orwellian" and "Big Brother"-ish. Hype and panic doesn't last, @ggreenwald.

19 September 2013 товарищ Puppet ‏@wikihype [^146.6] https://twitter.com/wikihype/status/380877303477071872 Bio: All panic, all the time. And I'm a journalist, ergo free to commit any number of felonies without fear. Because hey, journalist. wikihype.org. 13,635 tweets. 147 following. 421 followers. Time refers to Time Magazine.

One can believe the NSA is inept and overly aggressive at its job & not the despotic arm of a government bent on trampling the Constitution.

20 August 2013 Brandon Friedman ‏@BFriedmanDC [^146.7] https://twitter.com/BFriedmanDC/status/370028142096031744 His Twitter bio: Former U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs; author of The War I Always Wanted; Truman National Security Fellow; VP at FleishmanHillard. Opinions are my own. Location: Washington, DC · brandonfriedman.tumblr.com/about - 11,601 tweets. 399 following. 5,115 followers.

**Morrell: "The idea that we can do a better job protecting privacy & civil libs at no expense to natsec is incorrect"** http://wapo.st/1cGqwqB

28 December 2013 Jason Leopold ‏@JasonLeopold [^146.8] https://twitter.com/JasonLeopold/status/417077407657365504 Bio: Investigative reporter (GTMO, NatSec, et al). FOIA terrorist. Author: News Junkie. Ebook: From Hopeful Immigrant to FBI Informant. PGP: http://pgp.mit.edu:11371/pks/lookup?op=get&search=0xBB956DE4EA6F45BA – Location: Los Angeles · http://america.aljazeera.com/profiles/l/jason-leopold.html - 48,954 tweets. 2,251 following. 13,528 followers.

civil libs = civil liberties

natsec = national security

Michael Morell spells his name with a single r.

Context:

Michael Morrell, ex CIA official & NSA review panel member, writes column in WaPo abt what group's rpt really means http://wapo.st/1cGqwqB

28 December 2013 Jason Leopold ‏@JasonLeopold [^146.9] https://twitter.com/JasonLeopold/status/417077914585149440 Bio: Investigative reporter (GTMO, NatSec, et al). FOIA terrorist. Author: News Junkie. Ebook: From Hopeful Immigrant to FBI Informant. PGP: http://pgp.mit.edu:11371/pks/lookup?op=get&search=0xBB956DE4EA6F45BA – Location: Los Angeles · http://america.aljazeera.com/profiles/l/jason-leopold.html - 48,954 tweets. 2,251 following. 13,528 followers. abt = about. rpt = report.

Michael Morrell, ensuring that no one mistakes the NSA review panel as independent. http://wapo.st/1cGqwqB

28 December 2013 Jason Leopold ‏@JasonLeopold [^146.10] https://twitter.com/JasonLeopold/status/417076581664698368 Bio: Investigative reporter (GTMO, NatSec, et al). FOIA terrorist. Author: News Junkie. Ebook: From Hopeful Immigrant to FBI Informant. PGP: http://pgp.mit.edu:11371/pks/lookup?op=get&search=0xBB956DE4EA6F45BA – Location: Los Angeles · http://america.aljazeera.com/profiles/l/jason-leopold.html - 48,954 tweets. 2,251 following. 13,528 followers.

The link in all three of Jason Leopold's tweets above points to:

"Correcting the record on the NSA review," by Michael Morell, Washington Post, opinion section, 27 December 2013,  http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/michael-morell-correcting-the-record-on-the-nsa-recommendations/2013/12/27/54846538-6e45-11e3-aecc-85cb037b7236_story.html

Michael Morell [^146.11] No Twitter ID found on 28 December 2013. His bio as it appeared on 28 December 2013 in his article cited above: Michael Morell is the former acting director and deputy director of the Central Intelligence Agency and a member of President Obama's Review Group on Intelligence and Communications Technologies.

Washington Post @washingtonpost [^146.12] Twitter bio and stats on 27 December 2013: Tweets about everything from breaking news to bad restaurants. Sometimes global, sometimes local. Most tweets by @TJOrtenzi. Location: Washington, D.C. · washingtonpost.com. 97,752 tweets. 968 following. 2,334,703 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  147. Manish Vij

Manish Vij responds to Michael Morell's column:

**Ex-CIA guy falsely claims mass spying would've stopped 9/11 (we already had the data), cites himself as source** :D

[Link to Morell's article cited above.]

28 December 2013 Manish Vij ‏@manish_vij [^147.1] https://twitter.com/manish_vij/status/417082332315529216 Bio: Cofounder, http://arroapp.com ; writer, explorer of beaches. Location: SF Bay Area · manishvij.com - 15,727 tweets. 105 following. 1,164 followers.

In big data terms, the terror signal is so low and false positive rate so high, haystack is wrong way to attack the problem...

28 December 2013 Manish Vij ‏@manish_vij [^147.2] https://twitter.com/manish_vij/status/417022099299909632 Bio: Cofounder, http://arroapp.com ; writer, explorer of beaches. Location: SF Bay Area · manishvij.com - 15,727 tweets. 105 following. 1,164 followers.

... NSA mass data theft has little to do w terrorism, it's about power for itself and its data customers. Empire building and pol elites.

28 December 2013 Manish Vij ‏@manish_vij [^147.3] https://twitter.com/manish_vij/status/417022496668274688 Bio: Cofounder, http://arroapp.com ; writer, explorer of beaches. Location: SF Bay Area · manishvij.com - 15,727 tweets. 105 following. 1,164 followers.

pol elites = political elites.

You can't run effective machine learning filters on so little target text. Traditional human intel is far superior.

28 December 2013 Manish Vij ‏@manish_vij [^147.4] https://twitter.com/manish_vij/status/417023005152145408 Bio: Cofounder, http://arroapp.com ; writer, explorer of beaches. Location: SF Bay Area · manishvij.com - 15,727 tweets. 105 following. 1,164 followers.

NSA chiefs are pulling a long con: wrap themselves in flag and yell 9/11 while shifting power from citizens to political elites.

28 December 2013 Manish Vij ‏@manish_vij [^147.5] https://twitter.com/manish_vij/status/417024498857021440 Bio: Cofounder, http://arroapp.com ; writer, explorer of beaches. Location: SF Bay Area · manishvij.com - 15,727 tweets. 105 following. 1,164 followers.

NSA strategy is parasitic: An immune system against a rare disease trying to hijack freedom, creativity and econ power.

28 December 2013 Manish Vij ‏@manish_vij [^147.6] https://twitter.com/manish_vij/status/417025143345385472 Bio: Cofounder, http://arroapp.com ; writer, explorer of beaches. Location: SF Bay Area · manishvij.com - 15,727 tweets. 105 following. 1,164 followers.

Won't work via back door, won't win in open debate. People recognize the con, credulous judges notwithstanding.

28 December 2013 Manish Vij ‏@manish_vij [^147.7] https://twitter.com/manish_vij/status/417025638436847616 Bio: Cofounder, http://arroapp.com ; writer, explorer of beaches. Location: SF Bay Area · manishvij.com - 15,727 tweets. 105 following. 1,164 followers.

So lame that this petty, commonplace fiefdom building has to go to Supreme Court when 4th Amendment is two sentences in plain English...

28 December 2013 Manish Vij ‏@manish_vij [^147.8] https://twitter.com/manish_vij/status/417026653156433920 Bio: Cofounder, http://arroapp.com ; writer, explorer of beaches. Location: SF Bay Area · manishvij.com - 15,727 tweets. 105 following. 1,164 followers.

... We are like negligent parents to our intel agencies. They have affluenza. All the money they want, and no boundaries.

28 December 2013 Manish Vij ‏@manish_vij [^147.9] https://twitter.com/manish_vij/status/417027075363454977 Bio: Cofounder, http://arroapp.com ; writer, explorer of beaches. Location: SF Bay Area · manishvij.com - 15,727 tweets. 105 following. 1,164 followers.

In the following tweet, Manish Vij refers to statements made that day by General (Ret.) Michael Vincent Hayden, who was the Director of the National Security Agency from 1999 to 2005, and the Director of the Central Intelligence Agency from 2006 to 2009:

Hayden launders NSA's giant domestic power grab through their small minority of legit spying, like the Mafia's rice pudding storefront.

27 February 2015 Manish Vij ‏@manish_vij [^147.24 out of sequence because it was added late] https://twitter.com/manish_vij/status/571466131870904320 Bio: Cofounder, https://dipperapp.com ; writer, explorer of beaches – Location: SF Bay Area - manishvij.com – 30,380 tweets. 125 following. 1,306 followers.

Refers to Hayden's remarks made that day in a debate with Judge Andrew Napolitano at the Conservative Political Action Conference, #CPAC2015, http://cpac.conservative.org/

Machine learning needs a lot of training data, runs on even more target data. Both tiny with in-US terrorism, human analysts work better.

28 December 2013 Manish Vij ‏@manish_vij [^147.10] https://twitter.com/manish_vij/status/417030299818536960 Bio: Cofounder, http://arroapp.com ; writer, explorer of beaches. Location: SF Bay Area · manishvij.com - 15,727 tweets. 105 following. 1,164 followers.

Keyword intercepts will only catch wanna-bes. Best: human analysts on data from standard investigative methods. How we got bin Laden.

28 December 2013 Manish Vij ‏@manish_vij [^147.11] https://twitter.com/manish_vij/status/417030867484028930 Bio: Cofounder, http://arroapp.com ; writer, explorer of beaches. Location: SF Bay Area · manishvij.com - 15,727 tweets. 105 following. 1,164 followers.

'Biz records = no privacy' is self-serving BS. Everything's moving to shared rental model for ease and cost: email, AWS, AirBnB, Lyft.

28 December 2013 Manish Vij ‏@manish_vij [^147.12] https://twitter.com/manish_vij/status/417031830257139712 Bio: Cofounder, http://arroapp.com ; writer, explorer of beaches. Location: SF Bay Area · manishvij.com - 15,727 tweets. 105 following. 1,164 followers.

Mass domestic spying isn't a state secret, it's evidence of crimes. Snowden leaking isn't espionage, it's evidence of espionage.

21 December 2013 Manish Vij ‏@manish_vij [^147.13] https://twitter.com/manish_vij/status/414546854223699969 Bio and stats on 28 December 2013: Cofounder, http://arroapp.com ; writer, explorer of beaches. Location: SF Bay Area · manishvij.com \- 15,727 tweets. 105 following. 1,164 followers.

• • • • •

FBI replaces "law enforcement" with "national security" as primary mission in 2014

http://thecable.foreignpolicy.com/posts/2014/01/05/fbi_drops_law_enforcement_as_primary_mission#sthash.ECGFlfoz.dpbs HT @a_marshall_plan

6 January 2014 Amie Stepanovich ‏@astepanovich [^147.14] https://twitter.com/astepanovich/status/420311227035029504 Bio: Attorney & advocate w/ @EPICprivacy: privacy and domestic surveillance. I keep gov'mt out of your life. Views my own. Public key: http://pgp.mit.edu:11371/pks/lookup?op=get&search=0x2FC8AA8D48068A17 – Location: Washington, D.C. · epic.org - 12,554 tweets. 953 following. 3,567 followers.

Points to:

"FBI Drops Law Enforcement as 'Primary' Mission," by John Hudson, Foreign Policy, 5 January 2014,  http://thecable.foreignpolicy.com/posts/2014/01/05/fbi_drops_law_enforcement_as_primary_mission#sthash.ECGFlfoz.dpbs

John Hudson @John_Hudson [^147.15] Twitter bio and stats on 6 January 2014: National security staff writer @ForeignPolicy | tips: John.Hudson@ForeignPolicy.com – Location: Washington, D.C. · thecable.foreignpolicy.com - 4,519 tweets. 1,081 following. 3,393 followers.

Foreign Policy @ForeignPolicy [^147.16] Twitter bio and stats on 6 January 2014: The magazine for global politics, economics and ideas. Most tweets by @emmacarew. Follow our staff: https://twitter.com/ForeignPolicy/foreign-policy-staff/members - foreignpolicy.com - 11,815 tweets. 382 following. 410,784 followers.

Adam Marshall @a_marshall_plan [^147.17] Twitter bio and stats on 25 February 2014: Law student, President of the GW ACLU, former Chief Internet Activist and IPIOP Clerk at @EPICprivacy. All views expressed are my own. RTs ≠ endorsement. Location: United States. 1,903 tweets. 304 following. 97 followers.

Below, Manish Vij ‏builds on a quote by Kel McClanahan on the significance of the US Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) changing its primary mission from law enforcement to national security:

Lawyer: "National security" is like "open sesame," turns on god mode for bureaucracy--cash, guns, immunity.

 http://thecable.foreignpolicy.com/posts/2014/01/05/fbi_drops_law_enforcement_as_primary_mission#sthash.ECGFlfoz.dpbs... v @kalhan

6 January 2014 Manish Vij ‏@manish_vij [^147.18] https://twitter.com/manish_vij/status/420321378655428608 Bio: Cofounder, http://arroapp.com ; writer, explorer of beaches. Location: SF Bay Area · manishvij.com. 15,845 tweets. 104 following. 1,164 followers.

Manish Vij links to John Hudson's article in Foreign Policy, cited above. In his tweet, Manish refers to Kel McClanahan - Twitter ID, screen name, bio and stats on 6 January 2014: NatlSecCounselors @NatlSecCnslrs [^147.19] Public interest law firm doing nat'l sec'y law & info/priv law. Tweets aren't legal advice, RTs aren't endorsements, and there is no spoon. Anything I missed? Arlington, VA, USA · nationalsecuritylaw.org - 410 tweets. 186 following. 150 followers.

In games, god mode enables a player to ignore the rules, to give themselves special powers, and to change the resource allocations of a game. In other words, to cheat.

Jeremy Scahill:

" **They always say that if you publish it, it will damage national security. It has become a meaningless statement**."

 http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/02/26/the-skunk-at-the-oscar-party.html

26 February 2014 The Intercept ‏@the_intercept [^147.20] https://twitter.com/the_intercept/status/438843473824071680 Twitter bio and stats on 28 February 2014: Fearless, adversarial journalism. theintercept.org – 203 tweets. 403 following. 45,826 followers.

Link points to: "The Skunk at the Oscar Party," by David Freedlander, The Daily Beast, 26 February 2014,  http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/02/26/the-skunk-at-the-oscar-party.html

Lede: "Jeremy Scahill may not fit in amongst Leo and Marty, but even if he doesn't take home a statue for his documentary 'Dirty Wars,' he's already winning big with the launch of 'The Intercept,' his new online venture backed by Ebay's Pierre Omidyar."

Scahill's statement in the tweet above appeared in this quote where he describes launching The Intercept:

"We had a long discussion about this internally; about what our position would be if the White House asked us to not publish something. We came to the conclusion that we would always give them a chance to weigh in on a story, but we are not going to make an agreement not to publish based on what they say. They always, and everyone who works on this NSA stuff knows this, but they always say that if you publish it, it will damage national security. It has become a meaningless statement. It is like people who say 'literally' all the time. Everything becomes about 'national security.' I think we are going to have the most adversarial relationship with those entities of any media outlet with a profile. We are not going to make a deal—especially a secret deal—to decide to hold a story. We are just not going to do that."

jeremy scahill @jeremyscahill [^147.21] Twitter bio and stats on 28 February 2014: independent journalist. banana stand. got qat? public key: http://bit.ly/scahillgpg - dirtywars.org – 17,177 tweets. 2,686 following. 134,141 followers.

David Freedlander @freedlander [^147.22] Twitter bio and stats on 28 February 2014: Media Editor, The Daily Beast; Also politics, the arts, books & the city - David.Freedlander@thedailybeast.com - 3,751 tweets. 979 following. 3,197 followers.

The Daily Beast @thedailybeast [^147.23] Twitter bio and stats on 28 February 2014: Read this, tweet that. 2012 & 2013 #Webby winner for best news website! thedailybeast.com - 86,957 tweets. 752 following. 689,925 following.

Inclusion of the above tweet, as with so much else in this book, does not constitute endorsement.

^147.24 appears out of sequence and can be found earlier in this section.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  148. Targeting the messengers

News reporter Glenn Greenwald, the documentary filmmaker Laura Poitras, and Greenwald's colleagues at the Guardian newspaper took leading roles in reporting on the data-collection efforts of the NSA and its counterpart agency in the UK, the Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ). Some newspapers in the United States then undertook investigations of Guardian writers who were reporting on the NSA, prompting this ironic tweet from Tim Shorrock:

Change of plans: I'm not going to investigate US intelligence anymore. I'm going to investigate the private lives of reporters I don't like.

26 June 2013 Tim Shorrock ‏@TimothyS [^148.1] https://twitter.com/TimothyS/status/350073923142037504 Bio: Journalist/musician/agitator. Author, SPIES FOR HIRE. Salon & Nation writer. Union guy. Raised in postwar Asia. Fan of Dylan, guitars and a Girl named Barbara. Location: Washington, DC, USA · timshorrock.com - 34,135 tweets. 4,025 following. 6,838 followers. Underlining added.

Tim Shorrock posted the above tweet on the day that embarrassing personal information about Glenn Greenwald, who was writing for the Guardian at the time, mysteriously appeared in three major newspapers in the United States. Greenwald's problems repaying his student loans and making income-tax payments in a timely manner are not unusual in modern society. By sensationalizing them, those newspapers distracted attention from the issues Greenwald was covering. Mainstream media's focus on the personal shortcomings of whistleblowers (and the reporters who assist them) rather than on the content of their disclosures is common in major whistleblowing cases in the United States.

A classic example of attempts to target the messenger in order to distract from the message is brought to us by John Ehrlichman, Assistant to the President for Domestic Affairs and the 12th White House Counsel. John Ehrlichman organized a break-in of the office of Lewis Fielding, the psychiatrist treating the whistleblower Daniel Ellsberg. Daniel Ellsberg had been an officer in the US Marines and then an analyst at the RAND Corporation. The burglary of Fielding's office was carried out on 3 September 1971 by three CIA officers and two members of President Richard M. Nixon's Special Investigations Unit, also known as the White House Plumbers.

The Plumbers failed to find Fielding's files on Ellsberg, which could have been used to distract attention from the content of the Pentagon Papers that Ellsberg had released and that were first published in June of that year. Those papers included classified Pentagon documents that showed that President Lyndon B. Johnson (Nixon's predecessor in the White House) had systematically lied to the US Congress about the Second Vietnam War (1955-1975). The White House Plumbers also planned to have Ellsberg assaulted or killed, and to have Ellsberg given drugs surreptitiously that would make him appear incompetent when appearing in public.

• • • • •

An exchange between Glenn Greenwald and Teju Cole:

People love to pretend that they favor whistleblowing & transparency but then invent secret rule books to attack every person who does it.

9 August 2013 Glenn Greenwald ‏@ggreenwald [^148.2] https://twitter.com/ggreenwald/status/365818713091481601 His Twitter bio: Columnist for the Guardian - author, With Liberty and Justice for Some - dog/animal fanatic - PGP public key (http://is.gd/RppXtr ) - RT ≠ endorsement. http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/series/glenn-greenwald-security-liberty \- 37,265 tweets. 786 following. 227,620 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 20 May 2014: Journalist with @The_Intercept - author, With Liberty & Justice for Some - dog/animal fanatic - email/PGP public key (https://firstlook.org/theintercept/staff/glenn-greenwald/ ) theintercept.com – 45,430 tweets. 921 following. 355,098 followers.

Glenn Greenwald had been responding to criticism of Edward Snowden for fleeing the United States to escape incarceration. This tweet also applies to Greenwald himself.

Reply:

@ggreenwald **Courage is embarrassing.**

9 August 2013 Teju Cole ‏@tejucole [^148.3] https://twitter.com/tejucole/status/365819381856485378 Bio: We who? Location: Lagos/ Brooklyn · tejucole.com - 7,399 tweets. 780 following. 102,259 followers.

Response:

Yep-it's why so much of US media is hostile to actual whistleblowers & independent transparency groups RT @tejucole Courage is embarrassing.

9 August 2013 Glenn Greenwald ‏@ggreenwald [^148.4] https://twitter.com/ggreenwald/status/365823579796938752 His Twitter bio: Columnist for the Guardian - author, With Liberty and Justice for Some - dog/animal fanatic - PGP public key (http://is.gd/RppXtr ) - RT ≠ endorsement. http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/series/glenn-greenwald-security-liberty \- 37,265 tweets. 786 following. 227,620 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 20 May 2014: Journalist with @The_Intercept - author, With Liberty & Justice for Some - dog/animal fanatic - email/PGP public key (https://firstlook.org/theintercept/staff/glenn-greenwald/ ) theintercept.com – 45,430 tweets. 921 following. 355,098 followers.

US tactical shortcomings and battlefield defeats during the Second Vietnam War (1955-1975) were often presented by the US military as victories. This perpetuated poor decisionmaking at the national level, profoundly weakened the US military, and wasted lives, money and equipment. Journalists and whistleblowers, including some from within the military, were finally able to present a more realistic picture, leading to a shortening of the war.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  149. Sarah Harrison

Teju Cole's tweet above ("courage is embarrassing") is reinvented in the following statement by Sarah Harrison of WikiLeaks. The first paragraph of her statement and the conclusion are reproduced below. The opening paragraph describes her travels with Edward Snowden in 2013 after he left the United States for Hong Kong to meet with journalists for the first time. The conclusion describes the criminalization of journalism in the UK, echoing a similar point made by Jay Rosen later in this chapter in regard to the United States.

Sarah Harrison's statement opens with this paragraph:

As a journalist I have spent the last four months with NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden and arrived in Germany over the weekend. I worked in Hong Kong as part of the WikiLeaks team that brokered a number of asylum offers for Snowden and negotiated his safe exit from Hong Kong to take up his legal right to seek asylum. I was travelling with him on our way to Latin America when the United States revoked his passport, stranding him in Russia. For the next 39 days I remained with him in the transit zone of Moscow's Sheremetyevo airport, where I assisted in his legal application to 21 countries for asylum, including Germany, successfully securing his asylum in Russia despite substantial pressure by the United States. I then remained with him until our team was confident that he had established himself and was free from the interference of any government.

Sarah Harrison then describes some of the legal troubles faced by whistleblowers, reporters and others with whom WikiLeaks identifies. The concluding paragraphs of Harrison's statement are quoted below, describing how the UK government associates journalism with terrorism.

The UK Terrorism Act defines terrorism as the action or threat of action "designed to influence" any government "for the purpose of promoting a political or ideological cause". It prescribes actions that interfere with the functioning of an "electronic system" (i.e. the NSA's bulk spying program) or which the government alleges create a "risk" to a section of the public. It should be fanciful to suggest that national security journalism which has the purpose of producing honest government or enforcing basic privacy rights should be called "terrorism", but that is how the UK is choosing to interpret this law. Almost every story published on the GCHQ and NSA bulk spying programs falls under the UK government's interpretation of the word "terrorism". In response, our lawyers have advised me that it is not safe to return home.

The job of the press is to speak truth to power. And yet for doing our job we are persecuted. I say that these aggressive and illegal tactics to silence us – inventing arbitrary legal interpretations, over-zealous charges and disproportionate sentences – must not be permitted to succeed. I stand in solidarity with all those intimidated and persecuted for bringing the truth to the public.

In these times of secrecy and abuse of power there is only one solution – transparency. If our governments are so compromised that they will not tell us the truth, then we must step forward to grasp it. Provided with the unequivocal proof of primary source documents people can fight back. If our governments will not give this information to us, then we must take it for ourselves.

When whistleblowers come forward we need to fight for them, so others will be encouraged. When they are gagged, we must be their voice. When they are hunted, we must be their shield. When they are locked away, we must free them. Giving us the truth is not a crime. This is our data, our information, our history. We must fight to own it.

Courage is contagious.

Sarah Harrison, Wednesday, 6 November 2013, Berlin.

Source of the material quoted above:

"Statement by Sarah Harrison," by Sarah Harrison, WikiLeaks, 6 November 2013,  http://wikileaks.org/Statement-by-Sarah-Harrison.html

Sarah Harrison [^149.1] no Twitter ID identified on 8 November 2013.

WikiLeaks @wikileaks [^149.2] Twitter bio and stats on 8 November 2013: We open governments. Location: Everywhere · wikileaks.org - 25,768 tweets. 3 following. 2,080,651 followers.

• • • • •

The criminalization of investigative journalism prompted Jay Rosen to declare:

**Journalism almost has to be brought closer to activism to stand a chance of prevailing in its current struggle with the state**.

Jay Rosen's quote appeared as the conclusion to this post:

"To make journalism harder, slower, less secure - That's what the surveillance state is trying to do. It has the means, the will and the latitude to go after journalism the way it went after terrorism. Only a more activist press, working together, stands a chance of resisting this." By Jay Rosen, _PressThink_ , 26 August 2013.  http://pressthink.org/2013/08/to-make-journalism-harder-slower-less-secure/

Twitter bio and stats on 27 August 2013 for Jay Rosen @jayrosen_nyu [^149.3] I teach journalism at NYU, direct the Studio 20 program there, critique the press and study new media. I don't do lifecasting but mindcasting on Twitter. Location: New York City · pressthink.org. 27,154 tweets. 786 following. 123,871 followers.

How can the criminalization of journalism be distinguished from the criminalization of dissent generally? The suppression of journalism enables dissenters and the economically marginalized to then be demonized by the mass media. This occurred in Chile _after_ the military dictatorship ended there in 1990, whereupon anti-terrorism laws were applied more broadly by successive neoliberal governments seeking to suppress dissent.

See: The Chicago Conspiracy, Subversive Action Films, first released in Santiago, Chile in 2009 by SubversiveActionFilms.org. There are Spanish and English versions of the film, with the English version subtitled when Spanish is spoken. Spanish title: La Conspiración de Chicago. In May 2014 it was found to be available free online:  http://www.subversiveactionfilms.org/2011/03/02/streaming/

The Chicago Conspiracy includes clips of Chilean television news announcers demonizing political dissent and glossing over the assassination of activists. It shows activists saying that speaking to the media could result in their disappearance or assassination a few weeks later, leading them to avoid contact with journalists. Perversely for the authorities, such repressive measures are shown to have increased radicalization within all age groups in that country.

Will Wiles in the UK:

Hard to love a country whose politicians ask journalists "Do you love your country?"

3 December 2013 Will Wiles ‏@WillWiles [^149.4] https://twitter.com/WillWiles/status/407964102695608321 Twitter bio and stats on 16 December 2013: Writer. Author of the award-winning CARE OF WOODEN FLOORS (2012) and THE WAY INN (coming June 2014). Contributing editor at Icon magazine. Pen for hire. Location: London, UK · willwiles.blogspot.com - 16,559 tweets. 1,757 following. 4,648 followers.

Tim Wu:

I've been starting to think that academia should provide a real home for full-time investigative journalists & doc. Filmmakers

12 February 2014 Tim Wu ‏@superwuster [^149.5] https://twitter.com/superwuster/status/433682939529134080 Bio: Professor, author, The Master Switch, etc. Location: New York · timwu.org - 1,756 tweets. 250 following. 4,940 followers.

doc. Filmmakers = documentary filmmakers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  150. Aaron Swartz

"I dreamed I saw Aaron Swartz last night, alive as you and me. He says to me, 'I may be dead, but data must be free! Go set the data free!'"

8 November 2013 William Budington ‏@legind [^150.1] https://twitter.com/legind/status/399036576627302400 Bio: Crypto-Ⓐ. Oakland Communard. Web Developer at the @EFF. Member of the @W3C Web Crypto Working Group. My tweets are my own, kinda: http://tosdr.org/#twitter – Location: Oakland, California. 1,287 tweets. 424 following. 359 followers.

The tweet is based on the words in the poem "I Dreamed I Saw Joe Hill Last Night," by Alfred Hayes, 1936. The poem opens: "I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night, alive as you and me." The poem was set to music by Earl Robinson. The folk singer Joan Baez performed the song in the early hours of 16 August 1968 at the Woodstock Music & Art Fair ("Woodstock") in Bethel, New York. Baez was six months pregnant at the time. A recording of her performance was first released in 1970 on the album Woodstock: Music from the Original Soundtrack and More. The album was originally released on Atlantic Records' Cotillion label.

Aaron Swartz's accomplishments are cataloged in this Wikipedia article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aaron_Swartz

Aaron Swartz would have turned 27 that day. William Budington ‏tweeted about Swartz from a hackathon held in his memory, where Swartz's final project @SecureDrop was improved by hackathon participants. Participants also contributed to other projects that Aaron Swartz had supported. These projects furthered the principles of openness, anonymity and freedom that defined the Internet at its creation.

SecureDrop is an open-source platform that enables anonymous communication between two parties. Whistleblowers can use it to contact journalists without revealing their identity, location or contact information.

SecureDrop code repository in November 2013: https://github.com/freedomofpress/securedrop

See also: "Aaron Swartz Hackathons This Weekend to Continue his Work," by Parker Higgins, EFF, 6 November 2013,  https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2013/11/aaron-swartz-hackathons-weekend-continue-his-work

Parker Higgins @xor [^150.2] Twitter bio and stats on 12 November 2013: EFF activist, but my views are my own. Talking about copyright, privacy, free culture, free software, ukulele, &c. I also operate the @drones account. ⊕ Location: san francisco · parkerhiggins.net - 15,407 tweets. 492 following. 5,179 followers.

EFF @EFF [^150.3] Twitter bio and stats on 12 November 2013: We defend your civil liberties in a digital world. Location: San Francisco, CA · eff.org - 5,233 tweets. 501 following. 154,189 followers.

"The late Aaron Swartz, a young Internet genius and activist affiliated with Harvard University, was caught downloading masses of scholarly articles (all publicly subsidized) from an open network on the MIT campus. Swartz was federally prosecuted under the capacious Computer Fraud and Abuse Act [https://www.eff.org/issues/cfaa] for violating a "terms and services agreement" -- a transgression that anyone who has ever disabled a cookie on his or her laptop has also, technically, committed. Swartz committed suicide earlier this year while facing a possible 50-year sentence and up to a million dollars in fines."

Source: "The Over-Policing of America—Police Overkill Has Entered the DNA of Social Policy," by Chase Madar, TomDispatch, 8 December 2013,  http://www.tomdispatch.com/post/175781/tomgram%3A_chase_madar%2C_the_criminalization_of_everyday_life/

Chase Madar @ChMadar [^150.4] Twitter bio and stats on 11 December 2013: attorney & author, The Passion of [Chelsea] Manning: The Story behind the Wikileaks Whistleblower (Verso, 2013). Location: New York · http://www.versobooks.com/books/1401-the-passion-of-bradley-manning \- 11,661 tweets. 2,528 following. 3,591 followers.

TomDispatch @TomDispatch [^150.5] Twitter bio and stats on 11 December 2013: For those seeking a deeper understanding of our post-9/11 world & a clear sense of how our imperial globe actually works. http://facebook.com/tomdispatch - tomdispatch.com. 5,118 tweets. 348 following. 9,994 followers.

One year without Aaron. Impossible not to notice. Awful.

11 January 2014 Jacob Appelbaum ‏@ioerror [^150.6] https://twitter.com/ioerror/status/422257886245298177 Bio: Ethics enthusiast && الحب و الحياة في وقت قصير && cast iron club. Location: The Village; Be Seeing You! · appelbaum.net - 53,944 tweets. 2,025 following. 66,903 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  151. Edward Snowden

Edward Snowden received the Integrity Award from Sam Adams Associates for Integrity in Intelligence, presented at a small ceremony in Moscow on 9 October 2013. The award consisted of a candle and a candlestick holder. In attendance were these previous award winners, who were whistleblowers within the US government agencies identified alongside their names: Thomas Drake (NSA), Jesselyn Raddack (DoJ) and Coleen Rowley (FBI).

Edward Snowden's remarks at the ceremony, paraphrased and abbreviated:

We don't have an oversight problem in the United States, we have an undersight problem. We have a Department of Justice that refuses to prosecute officials who lie to Congress, on camera, yet will stop at nothing to go after people who tell the truth.

These surveillance programs don't help our country, they hurt our country. They don't make us more safe. They hurt our economy. They limit our ability to think and speak, to live and be creative, to have relationships, to associate freely. It puts us at risk of coming into conflict with our own government.

Edward Snowden said that current collection programs are a far cry from legitimate intelligence collection. He defined legitimate collection as that which is targeted, based on reasonable suspicion, individualized suspicion, and is a warranted action. Instead we have a massive dragnet that puts entire populations under surveillance, even when it is not needed, Snowden said.

The paraphrased material above is selective and does not constitute authoritative quotes by Edward Snowden, whose remarks were found through this tweet:

RELEASE: Six new videos of Edward #Snowden in Moscow; with Sarah Harrison  http://wikileaks.org/Video-Edward-Snowden-wins-Sam.html

11 October 2013 WikiLeaks ‏@wikileaks [^151.1 and ^151.2 for video below] https://twitter.com/wikileaks/status/388800181279260672 Twitter bio: WikiLeaks @wikileaks We open governments. Location: Everywhere · wikileaks.org - 24,478 tweets. 2 following. 2,057,871 followers.

The URL in the WikiLeaks tweet above points to:

"Video: Edward Snowden wins Sam Adams award," WikiLeaks, 11 October 2013,  http://wikileaks.org/Video-Edward-Snowden-wins-Sam.html The award was presented on 9 October 2013 in Moscow. The videos were not accompanied by transcripts.

Edward Snowden @Snowden [^151.3] Bio and stats of his verified Twitter account on 4 October 2015: I used to work for the government. Now I work for the public. Director at FreedomofPress. freedom.press - 14 tweets. 1 following. 1,343,993 followers. His first tweet, posted on 29 September 2015, received over 120k retweets as of 4 October 2015: Can you hear me now? https://twitter.com/Snowden/status/648890134243487744

Watch season's greetings from whistleblower Edward #Snowden in The Alternative Christmas Message on 4oD: http://ow.ly/s3rg1

25 December 2013 Channel 4 ‏@Channel4 ^151.4] https://twitter.com/Channel4/status/415879741833768960 Twitter bio and stats on 27 December 2013: The home of Channel 4, @E4Tweets, @More4Tweets, @Film4, @4Music, @DocsOn4 @DramaOn4 and @ComedyOn4. See lists for related accounts. channel4.com. 17,355 tweets. 8,317 following. 274,242 followers. Uncompressed URL: [ http://www.channel4.com/programmes/alternative-christmas-message

Edward Snowden @Snowden [^151.5] Bio and stats of his verified Twitter account on 4 October 2015: I used to work for the government. Now I work for the public. Director at FreedomofPress. freedom.press - 14 tweets. 1 following. 1,343,993 followers. His first tweet, posted on 29 September 2015, received over 120k retweets as of 4 October 2015: Can you hear me now? https://twitter.com/Snowden/status/648890134243487744

The two-minute video was broadcast on 25 December 2013 as Channel 4's Alternative Christmas Message, an annual broadcast that the independent British television channel has aired since 1993 in a format similar to the Christmas Message issued each Christmas by the reigning British Monarch.

Edward Snowden concluded the substantive portion of his remarks on Channel 4 as follows:

A child born today will grow up with no conception of privacy at all. They'll never know what it means to have a private moment to themselves, an unrecorded, unanalyzed thought. And that's a problem because privacy matters, privacy is what allows us to determine who we are and who we want to be.

The conversation occurring today will determine the amount of trust we can place both in the technology that surrounds us and the government that regulates it.

Together we can find a better balance, end mass surveillance and remind the government that if it really wants to know how we feel, asking is always cheaper than spying.

• • • • •

With Yahoo and Google adding crypto between data centers it's clear that Snowden made Internet more secure for everyone.

19 November 2013 Chris Wysopal ‏@WeldPond [^151.6] https://twitter.com/WeldPond/status/402741460073598976 Bio: Co-founder of Veracode. Former L0pht researcher and developer. Passionate about application security & security transparency. Location: Boston, MA · veracode.com/blog/ - 11,787 tweets. 476 following. 16,128 followers.

Replies to @WeldPond's tweet provided clarifications on how Google had slowly begun to look at adding crypto before Snowden's revelations that traffic between the company's data centers could be tapped. Google's efforts accelerated dramatically following those revelations. In the following month, Microsoft announced that it had also begun encrypting traffic between its data centers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  152. Criticism of Snowden and Greenwald

Disclosing the secretive and illegal forfeiture of others' privacy is to forever forfeit one's own. It also invites questions and criticisms, samples of which are presented below.

The following exchange begins with a couple tweets by @LibertyLynx. It occurred after Edward Snowden had gone out of public view and into the care of the FSB, the Russian government's national intelligence agency and successor to the KGB, where Russian President Vladimir Putin began his career.

As of 17 October 2013, there was no public evidence that Snowden's cache of secret documents had been in the physical possession of or decrypted by the Russians. An article on the subject that was published that day: "Snowden Says He Took No Secret Files to Russia," by James Risen, The New York Times, 17 October 2013,  http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/18/world/snowden-says-he-took-no-secret-files-to-russia.html

James Risen [^152.1] no Twitter ID found on 17 October 2013.

The New York Times @nytimes [^152.2] Twitter bio and stats on 17 October 2013: Where the conversation begins. Follow for breaking news, special reports, http://NYTimes.com homepage links and RTs of our journalists. Location: New York City · nytimes.com - 116,984 tweets. 811 following. 9,787,535 followers.

NSA collection for national security purposes is not synonymous with a loss of privacy generally, ‏@LibertyLynx argues. Her first tweet is sarcastic.

Yeah- that's right. The NSA's goal is to destroy privacy on a global level. And Putin is going to liberate us.

23 September 2013 R ‏@LibertyLynx [^152.3] https://twitter.com/LibertyLynx/status/382358432314970112 Bio: Super vegan cryptologist/hacker journo. Morally superior technophile. Spork enthusiast. (Really I'm into Russia & finance but the other stuff makes me so cool.) Location: SF Bay Area/ Sierras/ Berlin · https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ocaztxj87E \- 94,120 tweets. 3,936 following. 5,311 followers.

I have had it w/ the 'We are the world' hacker/infosec bullshit. Enough! You fools have been played so hard by Russians. Just embarrassing.

2 September 2013 R ‏@LibertyLynx [^152.4] https://twitter.com/LibertyLynx/status/374695868210749441 Her Twitter bio: Super vegan cryptologist/hacker journo. Morally superior technophile. Spork enthusiast. (Really I'm into Russia & finance but the other stuff makes me so cool.). Location: SF Bay Area/ Sierras/ Berlin · https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ocaztxj87E [link to a South Park cartoon titled: 'Professor Chaos.'] 91,976 tweets. 3,978 following. 5,262 followers. w/ = with.

Reply:

@LibertyLynx **Assange and Greenwald are stooges for Putin. They care only about their egos and nothing about freedom or journalism.**

2 September 2013 Lucas Ginn ‏@CitzenAlex [^152.5] https://twitter.com/CitzenAlex/status/374697136283471872 His Twitter bio: Gay, atheist, proud American with global outlook. Location: Washington, DC. 123 tweets. 15 following. 4 followers.

@LibertyLynx continues:

.@HachitaHoney Has Obama served up Polonium tea? Tortured a whistle blower to death in prison? Put opponent in prison for life? @DawgTeeth

2 September 2013 R ‏@LibertyLynx ^152.6] https://twitter.com/LibertyLynx/status/374691371442917378 Her Twitter bio: Super vegan cryptologist/hacker journo. Morally superior technophile. Spork enthusiast. (Really I'm into Russia & finance but the other stuff makes me so cool.). Location: SF Bay Area/ Sierras/ Berlin · [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ocaztxj87E [this link points to a South Park cartoon titled: 'Professor Chaos.'] 91,976 tweets. 3,978 following. 5,262 followers.

.@HachitaHoney Putin imprisons and murders political opponents. He was a die hard Soviet who never abandoned his loyalty to USSR @DawgTeeth

2 September 2013 R ‏@LibertyLynx [^152.7] https://twitter.com/LibertyLynx/status/374690082944327680 Her Twitter bio: Super vegan cryptologist/hacker journo. Morally superior technophile. Spork enthusiast. (Really I'm into Russia & finance but the other stuff makes me so cool.). Location: SF Bay Area/ Sierras/ Berlin · https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ocaztxj87E [link to a South Park cartoon titled: 'Professor Chaos.'] 91,976 tweets. 3,978 following. 5,262 followers.

On 11 December 2014, the link in her biography was found to have been changed to point to this article:

"Putin's Career Rooted in Russia's KGB," by David Hoffman, Washington Post Foreign Service, Washington Post, Sunday 30 January 2000, page A1,  http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/inatl/longterm/russiagov/putin.htm

@DawgTeeth And this is our country. Obama was elected whether people like that or not. Putin is a dictator. @IamaPOICA @HachitaHoney

2 September 2013 R ‏@LibertyLynx [^152.8] https://twitter.com/LibertyLynx/status/374694649467658240 Her Twitter bio: Super vegan cryptologist/hacker journo. Morally superior technophile. Spork enthusiast. (Really I'm into Russia & finance but the other stuff makes me so cool.). Location: SF Bay Area/ Sierras/ Berlin · https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ocaztxj87E [link to a South Park cartoon titled: 'Professor Chaos.'] 91,976 tweets. 3,978 following. 5,262 followers.

Hussain Abdul Hussain on Putin's Russia:

He owns #Russia. Putin "allows" his opponents to run for local office, but nothing higher than mayor.

20 September 2013 Hussain AbdulHussain ‏@hahussain [^152.9] https://twitter.com/hahussain/status/381064366855958528 Twitter bio and stats on 21 September 2013: Washington Reporter/Writer @ http://www.alraimedia.com , http://www.almodon.com , http://www.nowlebanon.com. hussainabdulhussain.blogspot.com. 13,970 tweets. 1,168 following. 3,040 followers.

Gary Kasparov:

Putin should just declare himself Ayatollah & donate all the money wasted on holding mock elections to the poor.

19 September 2013 Garry Kasparov ‏@Kasparov63 [^152.10] https://twitter.com/Kasparov63/status/380723065354608640 His bio and stats on 21 September 2013: Chairman of the Human Rights Foundation (@HRF). Author, speaker, 13th World Chess Champion. https://www.facebook.com/GKKasparov - Location: New York / Moscow · kasparov.com. 1,122 tweets. 128 following. 39,002 followers.

As one who had a KGB "minder" for years & was tracked like all opposition to Putin, I have little sympathy for govt surveillance power.

1 October 2013 Garry Kasparov ‏@Kasparov63 [^152.11] https://twitter.com/Kasparov63/status/385279655273447424 Bio: Chairman of the Human Rights Foundation (@HRF). Author, speaker, 13th World Chess Champion. https://www.facebook.com/GKKasparov - Location: New York / Moscow · kasparov.com. 1,313 tweets. 140 following. 40,553 followers. Then:

But Snowden's position was greatly weakened when he embraced Putin's Russia, a police state. It is a steep price for his freedom.

1 October 2013 Garry Kasparov ‏@Kasparov63 [^152.12] https://twitter.com/Kasparov63/status/385280095323029504 Bio: Chairman of the Human Rights Foundation (@HRF). Author, speaker, 13th World Chess Champion. https://www.facebook.com/GKKasparov - Location: New York / Moscow · kasparov.com. 1,313 tweets. 140 following. 40,553 followers.

Reply:

@Kasparov63 What???Embraced????The US forced the international community to hunt this man like a dog. He had nowhere to go. He is a HERO.

1 October 2013 Glenda Rose ‏@GlendaRoseMcGee [^152.13] https://twitter.com/GlendaRoseMcGee/status/385281038680723456 Bio: Love the truth and smell lies everywhere. Location: New York. 1,066 tweets. 306 following. 80 followers.

Americans will never appreciate the prevalence of Soviet and Russian espionage in the United States. Never.

7 November 2013 Микола Молодыко ‏@molodyko [^152.14] https://twitter.com/molodyko/status/398663176864026624 Bio: Микола Молодыко. Nicholas Molodyko. Writer. Pizza connoisseur. Paris Saint Germain, Aston Villa, Chicago Fire. My snark is exclusively mine. Location: Paris, Île-de-France & Chicago. 12,273 tweets. 998 following. 1,058 followers.

Russian embassy in DC is at 3rd highest point in DC, w/ direct visual line to the Capitol, the White House, the Pentagon, and State Dept.

28 October 2013 Christopher Soghoian ‏@csoghoian [^152.15] https://twitter.com/csoghoian/status/394856456379314176 Bio: Principal Technologist and Senior Policy Analyst, Speech, Privacy and Technology Project, ACLU. (Views expressed here are my own.) Location: Washington, DC · dubfire.net - 9,373 tweets. 283 following. 26,158 followers.

In Russia, war votes for you.

Saturday, 1 March 2014 Tim Mathews ‏@timmathews [^152.16] https://twitter.com/timmathews/status/439792082056523777 Bio: Army JAG; ME native; MBA; former Infantry Officer. I follow news on security in MENA/AfPak, global business, and Islamic law/finance. Views are mine, not DOD's. Location: Sportsman's Paradise. 6,766 tweets. 385 following. 2,962 followers.

Tweeted after Russia sent military units into Ukraine, and before Russia's military took control of the Crimean peninsula and annexed it into Russia later in the month. Russia's intervention was sparked by the fall of the pro-Moscow regime in Kiev on 27 February 2014. Russia also annexed Abkhazia and South Ossetia from the Republic of Georgia on 26 August 2008, after overwhelming Georgia's military in a short war.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  153. The defense

A thought on whistleblowers:

Americans should want them to expose lawbreaking, unconstitutional behavior,

*even if they do so imperfectly*

7 January 2014 Conor Friedersdorf ‏@conor64 [^153.1] https://twitter.com/conor64/status/420672895237369856 Bio and stats on 10 January 2014: Staff writer at The Atlantic, founding editor of The Best of Journalism - http://thebestofjournalism.blogspot.com/ - 13,263 tweets. 590 following. 19,138 followers.

**Not a single person I know who says that** # **Snowden "needs to be held accountable"--EVER says that** # **NSA need te held accountable**

18 November 2013 Jesselyn Radack ‏@JesselynRadack [^153.2] https://twitter.com/JesselynRadack/status/402639761158209536 Bio: Nat'l Sec & Human Rights Dir. at Gov't Acct Proj, mom, whistleblower, 1st Amend. absolutist, lawyer, ethicist, blogger, yogi, feminist, pundit. Tweets R my own. Location: Washington, D.C. · traitorbook.com - 6,745 tweets. 36 following. 9,966 followers.

"need te" can be read as "needs to be" above.

Snowden didn't publish any documents. He gave docs 2 news media. If ppl r troubled by specific disclosures, they should direct ire at press.

5 January 2014 Ryan Lizza ‏@RyanLizza [^153.3] https://twitter.com/RyanLizza/status/419902295661617152 Bio and stats on 10 January 2014: Washington Correspondent for The New Yorker, Contributor for CNN, Adjunct Professor at Georgetown University. Location: Washington, D.C. · nyr.kr/jDDIRt - 10,025 tweets. 1,720 following. 39,819 followers.

@TVietor08 **the point is that he ceded to the media the ultimate decisions about what to publish. This was not a Manning-style document dump.**

5 January 2014 Ryan Lizza ‏@RyanLizza [^153.4] https://twitter.com/RyanLizza/status/419910225114984448 Bio and stats on 10 January 2014: Washington Correspondent for The New Yorker, Contributor for CNN, Adjunct Professor at Georgetown University. Location: Washington, D.C. · nyr.kr/jDDIRt - 10,025 tweets. 1,720 following. 39,819 followers.

Amazing how any time we actually hear from Snowden in his own words, it bears no resemblance to cartoonish depiction of him by commentariat

24 December 2013 jeremy scahill ‏@jeremyscahill [^153.5] https://twitter.com/jeremyscahill/status/415548130617077761 Bio and stats on 10 January 2014: independent journalist. banana stand. got qat? public key: http://bit.ly/scahillgpg - dirtywars.org - 17,048 tweets. 2,650 following. 123,678 followers.

Obama to Snowden: thanks for showing me the gaping hole we tore in the Constitution. Here's a band-aid. Now please go to jail.

17 January 2014 Pierre Omidyar ‏@pierre [^153.6] https://twitter.com/pierre/status/424257231987544064 Bio and stats on 18 January 2014: Be you. Be cool. eBay, Omidyar Network, Peer News/Civil Beat. Location: Honolulu, HI · omidyargroup.com - 4,979 tweets. 342 following. 465,079 followers.

Pierre Omidyar refers to President Obama's first speech on the subject of Edward Snowden's revelations, delivered that day. In his address, the President endorsed bulk collection (i.e., mass surveillance).

Manish Vij posted three tweets about Obama's speech:

Obama likes coopting arguments, uses other side's examples to bolster own case. But NSA speech glib, fake: he coopted without delivering.

18 January 2014 Manish Vij ‏@manish_vij [^153.7] https://twitter.com/manish_vij/status/424641903301128192 Bio: Cofounder, http://arroapp.com ; writer, explorer of beaches. Location: SF Bay Area · manishvij.com - 16.147 tweets. 106 following. 1,171 followers.

Obama started out citing Paul Revere — a man whom the Brits would have caught with modern mass spying — and ended by endorsing that spying.

18 January 2014 Manish Vij ‏@manish_vij [^153.8] https://twitter.com/manish_vij/status/424642232973414400 Bio: Cofounder, http://arroapp.com ; writer, explorer of beaches. Location: SF Bay Area · manishvij.com - 16.147 tweets. 106 following. 1,171 followers.

NSA bait: patriotism, terrorism, strict controls. Switch: wiretap everything. Lead with the eagle, trail with the crowbar.

18 January 2014 Manish Vij ‏@manish_vij [^153.9] https://twitter.com/manish_vij/status/424688117203742720 Bio: Cofounder, http://arroapp.com ; writer, explorer of beaches. Location: SF Bay Area · manishvij.com - 16.147 tweets. 106 following. 1,171 followers.

Here are three additional tweets responding to the speech given by President Obama on 17 January 2014 regarding issues raised by Edward Snowden:

Funny, Obama mentioned the role of surveillance in the Revolution, but not that the Revolution was sparked by the fear of general warrants.

17 January 2014 Trevor Timm ‏@trevortimm [^153.10] https://twitter.com/trevortimm/status/424248451937759232 Twitter bio and stats on 18 January 2014: Executive director, @FreedomofPress. Remote operator, @Drones. [Views are my own.] Location: San Francisco, CA · https://pressfreedomfoundation.org/about/staff/trevor-timm - 15,153 tweets. 736 following. 28,244 followers.

Rand Paul on CNN: "I doubt that a [Section 215] general warrant is constitutional." Ding ding ding!

17 January 2014 Nate Cardozo ‏@ncardozo [^153.11] https://twitter.com/ncardozo/status/424225900108869633 Bio and stats on 18 January 2014: Tech native from California, avid homebrewer, home cook, world traveler, and Staff Attorney @EFF. Views are mine alone. Location: In DC for ShmooCon · https://www.eff.org/about/staff/nate-cardozo - 2,739 tweets. 279 following. 634 followers.

Senator Rand Paul @SenRandPaul [^153.12] Twitter bio and stats on 18 January 2014: I fight for the Constitution, individual liberty and the freedoms that make this country great. 1,808 tweets. 323 following. 374, 334 followers.

US Senator Rand Paul, one year later:

The phone records of law-abiding citizens are none of the govt's damn business!

#CPAC2015 #StandWithRand

27 February 2015 Senator Rand Paul ‏@SenRandPaul [^153.18 - added late and out of sequence] https://twitter.com/SenRandPaul/status/571361523379146752 Bio: I fight for the Constitution, individual liberty and the freedoms that make this country great. randpac.com - 3,430 tweets. 361 following. 545,114 followers. The hashtag #CPAC2015 refers to that day's Conservative Political Action Conference, http://cpac.conservative.org/

The Constitution prohibits unwarranted searches AND seizures. The govt seems to be trying to re-interpret seizures out of the 4th Amendment.

17 January 2014 Trevor Timm ‏@trevortimm [^153.13] https://twitter.com/trevortimm/status/424289729048096768 Twitter bio and stats on 18 January 2014: Executive director, @FreedomofPress. Remote operator, @Drones. [Views are my own.] Location: San Francisco, CA · https://pressfreedomfoundation.org/about/staff/trevor-timm - 15,153 tweets. 736 following. 28,244 followers.

This ends the series of tweets responding to the speech given by President Obama on 17 January 2014 regarding issues raised by Edward Snowden.

• • • • •

Mike Rogers says Edward Snowden "aligned himself with our enemies."

Congressman, the public is not your enemy.

9 January 2014 Ben Wizner ‏@benwizner [^153.14] https://twitter.com/benwizner/status/421343242550915072 Bio and stats on 10 January 2014: Director, ACLU Speech, Privacy & Technology Project. Views are my own. 740 tweets. 389 following. 3,761 followers.

I enjoy watching old people try to fit snowden into some kind of pre wikileaks worldview of what a spy is

11 February 2014 daveaitel ‏@daveaitel [^153.15] https://twitter.com/daveaitel/status/433393386335531008 Bio and stats on 20 February 2014: Dave Aitel (CEO Immunity, Inc.) \- immunityinc.com – 19,002 tweets. 514 following. 11,204 followers.

**The White House won't stop whistleblowers. These days it's the only way to expose what the US government has become.** # **Shame**

15 November 2013 Kim Dotcom ‏@KimDotcom [^153.16] https://twitter.com/KimDotcom/status/401421762971189248 His bio and stats on 18 November 2013: Entrepreneur - Innovator - Gamer – Fighter. Contact: twitter@kim.com · kim.com - 6,531 tweets. 10,816 following. 323,945 followers. This tweet was retweeted by Glenn Greenwald ‏@ggreenwald, hence the appearance of Greenwald's @username in the reply below:

Reply:

@ggreenwald **apparently it's the only way the WH actually finds out what's going on, too** @KimDotcom

15 November 2013 Brian O'Leary ‏@brianoleary [^153.17] https://twitter.com/brianoleary/status/401423447865032704 His bio and stats on 18 November 2013: Content whisperer. Location: New York, NY · magellanmediapartners.com - 6,623 tweets. 998 following. 3,690 followers.

WH = The White House, http://www.whitehouse.gov/

^153.18 was added late and is out of sequence above.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  154. Closing society's escape valves

What are the social and psychological effects of news leaks that exposed the nature and extent of surveillance programs?

They call it the net because they are trying to catch us.

They call it the web because they are trying to trap us.

Source: Der Kosmonaut, quoting "The Baroness" on 15 September 2014. "She nailed it 18 years ago, a rich girl from the Upper East Side who was only 22 at the time."

He said loss of privacy was acceptable to the petit bourgeois, who are a very strong block. "Everything's oriented toward them," he said. Then he quoted the Baroness above. His biography on 13 February 2015: Der Kosmonaut is a radical social and political critical poet, philosopher and observer as well as a radio journalist, DJ and music producer. He has lived in 7 countries and has traveled to 19 countries in total. He has been published in Austria and Serbia. He is a Slam Poetry champion and the first Black person and first non-native German speaker to ever win a Poetry Slam in Austria. He is published in the anthology of Vienna Austria Poetry Slam champions "Slam B" edited by Diana Koehler in 2012. His political philosophy essays have been published at "The Age of Nepotism" site (www.AgeOfNepotism.org). He publishes his own blog widely read in Central and Eastern Europe "Adventures of Der Kosmonaut" (www.der-kosmonaut.blogspot.com)

" **In what's become a disturbing refrain of late, the crazy conspiracy theories of Internet activists have turned out to be right**."—@ErrataRob

15 August 2013 Leif Ryge ‏@wiretapped [^154.1] https://twitter.com/wiretapped/status/367947799939137536 Twitter bio: PGP: D76F EE1F 4F95 7E25 F7F8 CD48 16D5 42C4 9D67 51E8 OTR: A964 1816 F. - 5,148 tweets. 2,001 following. 697 followers.

Twitter bio and stats on 16 August 2013 for Robert David Graham ‏@ErrataRob [^154.2] Invented network IPS, created BlackICE, cyber-insecurity expert. Location: In Las Vegas at DefCon 21 · erratasec.blogspot.com. 16,865 tweets. 933 following. 5,642 followers.

Contrary to Assange's early theorizing, limited punctures of state secrecy make its subjects - not the state - paranoid & disfunctional.

1 August 2013 Evgeny Morozov ‏@evgenymorozov [^154.3] https://twitter.com/evgenymorozov/status/363139934938349569 His Twitter bio: There are idiots. Look around. Republic of Mischiefology · http://www.amazon.com/Save-Everything-Click-Here-Technological/dp/1610391381/ \- 19,155 tweets. 3,016 following. 41,186 followers. The Amazon URL points to: To Save Everything, Click Here: The Folly of Technological Solutionism, by Evgeny Morozov. Publisher: PublicAffairs.

Societies need escape valves. Historically, emigration provided a popular escape route.

Established during the Second Vietnam War (1955-1975), the US Peace Corps served as an escape valve to redirect the energies of altruistic, talented young Americans – energies that could otherwise have been directed at stopping the war and possibly changing the system of government in the United States. The Peace Corps provided its volunteers with a sense of belonging that would have been difficult to find outside of extremist groups.

Online anonymity and pseudonymity opened a safety valve that universal surveillance is closing.

Vinay Gupta on escape valves:

"Why aren't people angrier about politics?"

Answer "because they spent 2 or 3 hours a day with political freedom online"

That freedom's gone

8 October 2013 Vinay Gupta ‏@leashless [^154.4] https://twitter.com/leashless/status/387759335629021184 Bio: Beyond good taste and evil. Global resilience guru. What do you do after it all goes wrong? And what about the poor, for whom it's never yet been right? Location: London, sometimes Ireland · vinay.howtolivewiki.com/blog/about - 69,763 tweets. 1,895 following. 5,040 followers.

What the NSA has done is *made war on the escape valves of its subjugated society*. They've taken away the opiate of the intellectual masses

8 October 2013 Vinay Gupta ‏@leashless [^154.5] https://twitter.com/leashless/status/387759816585666560 Bio: Beyond good taste and evil. Global resilience guru. What do you do after it all goes wrong? And what about the poor, for whom it's never yet been right? Location: London, sometimes Ireland · vinay.howtolivewiki.com/blog/about - 69,763 tweets. 1,895 following. 5,040 followers.

The little hiding places where we got to be who we want to be are wiped out: integrated into a totalitarian state's vision of its subjects.

8 October 2013 Vinay Gupta ‏@leashless [^154.6] https://twitter.com/leashless/status/387759587752812544 Bio: Beyond good taste and evil. Global resilience guru. What do you do after it all goes wrong? And what about the poor, for whom it's never yet been right? Location: London, sometimes Ireland · vinay.howtolivewiki.com/blog/about - 69,763 tweets. 1,895 following. 5,040 followers.

• • • • •

The source of this quote (and its quote within a quote) shall remain anonymous:

I had lunch with someone who had worked at NSA about 15 years ago. I asked him about the 'NSA key' that had been found in Windows [the operating system].

He said:

'Don't type anything into your computer that you don't want somebody else to read.'

In other words, everything has been back-doored to within an inch of its life.

"How about a computer that never goes online and that communicates only through sneaker-mail, i.e., carrying files back and forth using physical media, the way Osama Bin Laden operated?"

Reply:

"It is possible to see what is being typed on a CRT computer screen from two blocks away, using monitoring devices. Reading LCD screens is harder, but information can also be gathered from wireless keyboards and mice."

Source: anonymous techie interviewed for this chapter in Seattle, 2013 [^154.7].

Additional information:

OCEAN is an NSA program name in 2012 for: 'Optical Collection Systems for Raster-Based Computer Screens.' Source:  http://cryptome.org/2013/10/nsa-close-access-sigads.pdf

Cryptome @Cryptomeorg [^154.8] Twitter bio and stats on 25 October 2013: The Art of Leak. Location: New York, NY · cryptome.org - 13 tweets. 0 following. 6,255 followers. Cryptome had been scrubbing all their tweets after posting. On 25 October 2013, only one tweet was visible in their timeline. Their practice had been to delete tweets after a day or two.

Congratulations on your device purchase!

Would you like:

A. A US Backdoor.

B. A Chinese Backdoor.

C. A Vendor Backdoor.

19 October 2013 isaac ‏@_wirepair [^154.9] https://twitter.com/_wirepair/status/391715988372062208 Twitter bio and stats on 22 October 2013: gamehackingadventures.blogspot.com/ oh and i shot teh web. Location: Japan · kougekiryoku.blogspot.com \- 3,332 tweets. 238 following. 475 followers.

• • • • •

Crypto that protects only content (and not metadata). looks more inadequate every day.

18 March 2014 matt blaze ‏@mattblaze [^154.10] https://twitter.com/mattblaze/status/446011586248208384 Bio: Scientist, safecracker. 140 is the new 1536. crypto.com/blog/ \- 9,184 tweets. 341 following. 9,026 followers.

Basically if you have a choice of protecting your metadata or your content, protect metadata. (Unfortunately, not usually the choice).

18 March 2014 matt blaze ‏@mattblaze [^154.11] https://twitter.com/mattblaze/status/446007201086570496 Bio: Scientist, safecracker. 140 is the new 1536. crypto.com/blog/ \- 9,184 tweets. 341 following. 9,026 followers.

What new products and services could be developed to protect metadata?

One way to protect metadata is to not generate it openly, for example by encrypting DNS traffic. In the first two years following his emergence as a public figure, Edward Snowden repeatedly urged the development of DNS encryption, saying that legacy internet protocols leak too much information about users. Long-lasting hardware addresses are also dangerous, he said. For example, a device's MAC number, incorporated into an IPV6 address, can reveal not only someone's identity, but also their physical location, e.g., when accessing the Internet through Wi-Fi. Because IPV6 makes so many IP addresses available, the assumption in IPV6 is that devices will connect directly to the Internet, rather than first obscuring their addresses through network address translation or NAT, as in the older IPV4.

Only way to be anonymous on the Internet is not to use it...

12 August 2013 the grugq ‏@thegrugq [^154.12] https://twitter.com/thegrugq/statuses/366842086865117184 His bio and stats on 1 September 2013: Information Security Pornstar :: PGP key - http://pgp.mit.edu:11371/pks/lookup?op=get&search=0xDB60C7B9BD531054... Location: Bangkok, Thailand · grugq.github.io. 31,801 tweets. 221 following. 9,436 followers.

Reply:

@thegrugq or use someone else's.

12 August 2013 Marius (wishi) ‏@windsheep_ [^154.13] https://twitter.com/windsheep_/status/366852094315081728 His Twitter bio and stats on 1 September 2013: Digital Communication Systems, Secure Software Development, crashes your ERP[tm], maybe I get into blogging one day. Location: 霧 歌速 術 · crazylazy.info/blog. 5,234 tweets. 694 following. 929 followers.

The Tor Project (torproject.org) offers free software for browsing the Internet anonymously through a network of global relays operated by volunteers. Here Jon Russell quotes @thegrugq on the risks of using Tor:

The Tor network has only 3000 nodes, of which 1000 are exit nodes. Over a 24hr time period a connection will use approximately 10% of those exit nodes (under the default settings). If I were a gambling man, I'd wager money that there are at least 100 malicious Tor exit nodes doing passive monitoring. A nation state could double the number of Tor exit nodes for less than the cost of a smart bomb. A nation state can compromise enough ISPs to have monitoring capability over the majority of Tor entrance and exit nodes.

Source: "The only way to be anonymous on the Internet..." by Jon Russell, Inside The Noodle Bowl, 1 September 2013.  http://insidethenoodlebowl.com/the-only-way-to-be-anonymous-on-the-internet

Twitter bio and stats on 1 September 2013 for Jon Russell @jonrussell [^154.14] Asia Editor at @thenextweb | jon@thenextweb.com. Location: Bangkok, Thailand · insidethenoodlebowl.com - 36,087 tweets. 849 following. 7,558 followers.

Twitter bio and stats on 1 September 2013 for: the grugq ‏@thegrugq [^154.15] Information Security Pornstar :: PGP key - http://pgp.mit.edu:11371/pks/lookup?op=get&search=0xDB60C7B9BD531054... Location: Bangkok, Thailand · grugq.github.io. 31,801 tweets. 221 following. 9,436 followers.

Tor running in its basic mode in 2014 could alert Internet-traffic monitors that Tor was being used, thereby exposing users to blocking or penetration attempts. Mainland China, for example, recognized and filtered out Tor traffic in 2014-2015 and may continue to do so. For those seeking anonymity, forgetting to activate Tor just once can be sufficient to de-anonymize that person, as Hector "Sabu" Monsegur discovered to his detriment. Despite Tor's privacy issues, as of 2015 it remained viable as a free tool for circumventing Internet censorship. @thegrugq's statement above does not imply that he was opposed to people using Tor. Within a year of his quote above, he was working on integrating Tor into a portable router to run in always-on mode. That router project is called the Personal Onion Router To Assure Liberty (PORTAL).

In 2015, researchers at MIT discovered that they could set up phony entry nodes to de-anonymize Tor users without the need to break Tor's encryption. These entry nodes, also called guards, would then funnel traffic to legitimate Tor relay nodes.

"NSA proof email" is pointless without NSA proof servers, laptops, desktops, mobile phones, email clients and browsers.

5 September 2013 the grugq ‏@thegrugq [^154.16] https://twitter.com/thegrugq/status/375691579798736896 His Twitter bio and stats on 6 September 2013: Information Security Pornstar :: PGP key - http://pgp.mit.edu:11371/pks/lookup?op=get&search=0xDB60C7B9BD531054... Location: Bangkok, Thailand · grugq.github.io. 32,282 tweets. 221 following. 9,567 followers.

Tweeted on the day that news organizations published details about NSA's _Project Bullrun_ , which inserts vulnerabilities into security & encryption programs. Bullrun and its British counterpart _Edgehill_ can decrypt many forms of encrypted Internet traffic.

The above tweet refers to securing communication endpoints, which can be easier to compromise than encryption programs. Encryption depends on keys, which can be stolen. The grugq encourages good operational security practices (OPSEC, i.e., behavioral practices), rather than merely relying, in his words, on _crypto-fairy-dust_.

Conor Friedersdorf ‏on Project Bullrun:

Imagine that they weakened front door locks at the manufacturer so they could break into your house later.

How would you feel?

10 January 2014 Conor Friedersdorf ‏@conor64 [^154.17] https://twitter.com/conor64/status/421731757948272640 Bio: Staff writer at The Atlantic, founding editor of The Best of Journalism - http://thebestofjournalism.blogspot.com/ - 13,263 tweets. 590 following. 19,138 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  155. Ladar Levison

Ladar Levison, the founder of the secure email service Lavabit, closed the service in August 2013, saying that he could no longer assure customers that their data was secure while Lavabit was based in the United States. As a Lavabit customer, this also left him without email access, as he said that he was not willing to use a less secure service. Levison said he was still using the messaging services of social media.

Ladar Levison spoke about his personal privacy strategies at the Privacy Identity Innovation conference in Seattle on 17 September 2013:

Anything that I consider sensitive, I try to talk about it to people in person, with my cellphone off, in an area where I know that nobody's pointing a parabolic mic at me.

If you're fighting the government that's what you need to do.

I've had to switch from becoming a small business owner worrying about making payroll, to overnight becoming a political activist.

In closing Lavabit, it was assumed but unstated that Ladar Levison was under US government pressure to hand over customer data, and that the government suspected that Edward Snowden had been one of Lavabit's customers. If that was the case, then Levison would have been barred from talking about it. Levison referred to this as a _secrecy problem_ in his conference remarks:

There are only so many people in this country that have any idea what's really going on, and they may only know a small part of the picture, and they can't talk about it, they can't tell us, because if they do they'll go to jail.

It's a dangerous world we live in when the administration can effectively violate the Constitution and then make it a crime for anybody who knows about it to tell the world that there was a violation of the Constitution.

Transparency doesn't mean anything when they're not allowed to tell you the truth. We effectively need to mistrust anything and everything until we can verify that it's doing what it claims to be doing, and that's the ultimate trust issue.

Ladar Levison's remarks appeared in: "Lavabit Email Founder Goes to Great Lengths to Avoid Email, Post-Snowden," by Liz Gannes, All Things D, 17 September 2013,  http://allthingsd.com/20130917/lavabit-email-founder-goes-to-great-lengths-to-avoid-email-post-snowden/

Ladar Levison – Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 17 September 2013: Ladar Levison @kingladar [^155.1] Dallas, TX · lavabit.com. 0 tweets. 1 following. 184 followers. His first tweet appeared on 11 November 2013.

Liz Gannes @lizgannes [^155.2] Twitter bio and stats on 17 September 2013: I write for AllThingsD. My last name rhymes with braaains. Location: San Francisco · allthingsd.com. 4,393 tweets. 1,726 following. 42,422 followers.

AllThingsD @allthingsd [^155.3] Twitter bio and stats on 17 September 2013: News, analysis and opinion about the digital revolution from @waltmossberg, @karaswisher & the AllThingsD reporting staff. Questions? Please contact @HeyHeyESJ. allthingsd.com. 24,948 tweets. 108 following. 160,823 followers.

The conference in Seattle where Ladar Levison spoke, pi2013 - PrivacyIdentityInnovation.com, was produced by:

Natalie Fonseca @TechPolicy [^155.4] Twitter bio and stats on 17 September 2013: Conference producer. Entrepreneur. Dog lover. Runner. Road tripper. Co-founder and executive producer of Tech Policy Summit and Privacy Identity Innovation. Location: On the road · privacyidentityinnovation.com. 7,453 tweets. 1,637 following. 6,142 followers.

**"Privacy in a free society is more important that a government's ability to conduct surveillance**." **Ladar Levison** @kingladar

10 November 2013 Remittance Girl ‏@remittancegirl [^155.5] https://twitter.com/remittancegirl/status/399578062309695488 Her Twitter bio and stats on 12 November 2013: Practicing Erotic Phyctician. Author of Beautiful Losers, The Waiting Room, The Splinter & Gaijin. Lotus eater, poppy smoker, tweeter of strange dishes. NSFW. Location: In+Exile · remittancegirl.com - 173,535 tweets. 3,561 following. 7,036 followers. She was in Saigon.

**Really creepy. You've got no privacy, and you don't even have the right to know you have none.** http://bit.ly/1bq0C6i

10 November 2013 Remittance Girl ‏@remittancegirl [^155.6] https://twitter.com/remittancegirl/status/399570903555522560 Her Twitter bio and stats on 12 November 2013: Practicing Erotic Phyctician. Author of Beautiful Losers, The Waiting Room, The Splinter & Gaijin. Lotus eater, poppy smoker, tweeter of strange dishes. NSFW. Location: In+Exile · remittancegirl.com - 173,535 tweets. 3,561 following. 7,036 followers. Remittance Girl was in Saigon at the time.

The link in her tweet above points to: "Q&A with Ladar Levison," filmed at NANOG 59, Phoenix, AZ, NANOG, 9 October 2013, http://youtu.be/uo9-0So2A_g

Ladar Levison @kingladar [^155.7 for quote above and ^155.8 for video] Twitter bio and stats on 12 November 2013: Dallas, TX · lavabit.com - 1 tweet. 19 following. 366 followers.

NANOG @nanog [^155.9] Twitter bio and stats on 12 November 2013: North American Network Operators Group. Location: Everywhere · nanog.org - 276 tweets. 17 following. 1,655 followers.

One of the 19 Twitter accounts that Ladar Levison was following on 12 November 2013:

Dark Mail Alliance @DarkMailA – Twitter bio and stats on 12 November 2013: @Silent_Circle & Lavabit are developing a new way to do email with end-to-end encryption. We welcome like-minded organizations to join our alliance. darkmail.info - 0 tweets. 15 following. 131 followers.

**Levison says the government argued a search carried out by a machine was not protected by the Fourth Amendment** :

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/may/20/why-did-lavabit-shut-down-snowden-email

20 May 2014 Runa A. Sandvik ‏@runasand [^155.10] https://twitter.com/runasand/status/468734399144816641 Twitter bio and stats on 20 May 2014: Staff Technologist at @CenDemTech, @Forbes contributor, technical advisor to @FreedomOfPress and the TrueCrypt Audit project, involved with the @torproject. Location: Washington, D.C., USA. encrypted.cc. 8,299 tweets. 306 following. 9,313 followers.

Points to: "Secrets, lies and Snowden's email: why I was forced to shut down Lavabit," by Ladar Levison, The Guardian, theguardian.com, 20 May 2014,  www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/may/20/why-did-lavabit-shut-down-snowden-email

Lede:

For the first time, the founder of an encrypted email startup that was supposed to insure privacy for all reveals how the FBI and the US legal system made sure we don't have the right to much privacy in the first place.

Ladar Levison's conclusion:

The largest technological question we raised in our appeal (which the courts refused to consider) was what constitutes a "search", i.e., whether law enforcement can demand the encryption keys of a business and use those keys to inspect the private communications of every customer, even when the court has only authorized them to access information belonging to specific targets.

The problem here is technological: until any communication has been decrypted and the contents parsed, it is currently impossible for a surveillance device to determine which network connections belong to any given suspect. The government argued that, since the "inspection" of the data was to be carried out by a machine, they were exempt from the normal search-and-seizure protections of the Fourth Amendment.

More importantly for my case, the prosecution also argued that my users had no expectation of privacy, even though the service I provided – encryption – is designed for users' privacy.

If my experience serves any purpose, it is to illustrate what most already know: courts must not be allowed to consider matters of great importance under the shroud of secrecy, lest we find ourselves summarily deprived of meaningful due process. If we allow our government to continue operating in secret, it is only a matter of time before you or a loved one find yourself in a position like I did – standing in a secret courtroom, alone, and without any of the meaningful protections that were always supposed to be the people's defense against an abuse of the state's power.

Ladar Levison @kingladar [^155.11] Twitter bio and stats on 20 May 2014: Dallas, TX · lavabit.com. 4 tweets. 19 following. 755 followers.

The Guardian @guardian [^155.12] Twitter bio and stats on 20 May 2014: Top stories, special features, live blogs and more from http://theguardian.com – Location: London · theguardian.com – 64,530 tweets. 1,079 following. 2,219,752 followers.

Some government officials, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I'll use a secret law." Now they have [REDACTED] problems.

2 March 2013 David Gouldin ‏@dgouldin [^155.13] https://twitter.com/dgouldin/status/307928735095603201 Twitter bio and stats on 10 July 2013: Engineer at @causes. Djangonaut, chocolate lover, musician, IP minimalist. Location: San Francisco, CA · votizen.com - 15,725 tweets. 549 following. 884 followers.

Secret laws can include secret US Department of Justice opinions that contradict black-letter law.

Related:

"Glenn Greenwald: from Martin Luther King to Anonymous, the state targets dissenters not just "bad guys,"" by Glenn Greenwald,

The Guardian, 12 May 2014,  http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/may/13/glenn-greenwald-anonymous-mass-surveillance-governments-nasa-no-place-to-hide

Lede:

Don't believe the argument that mass surveillance is only a problem for wrongdoers. Governments have repeatedly spied on anyone who challenges their power, says Glenn Greenwald in an extract from his book about Edward Snowden and the NSA, _No Place to Hide_.

Glenn Greenwald @ggreenwald [^155.14] Twitter bio and stats on 20 May 2014: Journalist with @The_Intercept - author, With Liberty & Justice for Some - dog/animal fanatic - email/PGP public key (https://firstlook.org/theintercept/staff/glenn-greenwald/ ) theintercept.com – 45,430 tweets. 921 following. 355,098 followers.

The Guardian @guardian [^155.15] Twitter bio and stats on 20 May 2014: Top stories, special features, live blogs and more from http://theguardian.com – Location: London · theguardian.com – 64,530 tweets. 1,079 following. 2,219,752 followers.

"The government isn't out to get you."––the government

[Link]

29 January 2014 Teju Cole ‏@tejucole ^155.16] https://twitter.com/tejucole/status/428638683323850753 Bio: We who? the Black Atlantic · tejucole.com - 8,449 tweets. 834 following. 124,791 followers. The link points to a timeline titled Credomania: [ https://twitter.com/tejucole/timelines/428635031313985536

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  156. LOVEINT

What happens when the government-surveillance tools are harnessed for personal ends? Most instances of willful misconduct by NSA employees reportedly pertained to their use of NSA capabilities to surveil and possibly harass love interests and ex-spouses. The NSA spycraft label for these activities is LOVEINT. The most popular hashtags for LOVEINT, as seen below, were #NSARomCom and #NSAPickUpLines.

Who knew LOVEINT was so contagious? #NSAromcom #NSAPickUpLines #NSAlovesongs http://on.wsj.com/13XzBT7

24 August 2013 Siobhan Gorman ‏@Gorman_Siobhan [^156.1 and ^156.2 for the quote below] https://twitter.com/Gorman_Siobhan/status/371473242503921664 Her Twitter bio: Intelligence Correspondent, The Wall Street Journal. Juggler. Wine enthusiast. Kisser of boo-boos. 96 tweets. 207 following. 691 followers.

The link in Siobhan Gorman's tweet above points to her article:

"NSA Officers Spy on Love Interests," The Wall Street Journal, 23 August 2013,  http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2013/08/23/nsa-officers-sometimes-spy-on-love-interests/

Twitter bio and stats on 24 August 2013 for Wall Street Journal @WSJ [^156.3] Breaking news and features from The Wall Street Journal. Tweets by @rubinafillion @fieldproducer @demetria_g @elanazak @allisonWSJ @mayaj and @lheron. Location: New York, NY · wsj.com. 59,312 tweets. 743 following. 3,214,181 followers.

Siobhan Gorman's article opens with this explanation of LOVEINT:

WASHINGTON—National Security Agency officers on several occasions have channeled their agency's enormous eavesdropping power to spy on love interests, U.S. officials said.

The practice isn't frequent — one official estimated a handful of cases in the last decade — but it's common enough to garner its own spycraft label: LOVEINT.

Spy agencies often refer to their various types of intelligence collection with the suffix of "INT," such as "SIGINT" for collecting signals intelligence, or communications; and "HUMINT" for human intelligence, or spying.

The "LOVEINT" examples constitute most episodes of willful misconduct by NSA employees, officials said...

Commenting on Siobhan Gorman's article, Christopher Soghoian said:

**NSA has no idea what its staff are doing: All of the stalking incidents NSA knows about were "self-reported"** [Link to WSJ article above]

23 August 2013 Christopher Soghoian ‏@csoghoian [^156.4] https://twitter.com/csoghoian/status/371092833878302720 His Twitter bio and stats on 25 August 2013: Principal Technologist and Senior Policy Analyst, Speech, Privacy and Technology Project, ACLU. (Views expressed here are my own.) Location: Washington, DC · dubfire.net. 8,453 tweets. 282 following. 23,389 followers.

Reply from Ben King:

@csoghoian **in what we can assume is an institution ripe with group-think, it is virtually assured that self-reported cases are huge minority**

23 August 2013 Ben King ‏@Grimeandreason [^156.5] https://twitter.com/Grimeandreason/status/371160353000148992 Twitter bio and stats on 25 August 2013: Amateur philosopher and historian, atheist, skeptic and cultural evolutionist. Location: United Kingdom. 9,493 tweets. 204 following. 383 followers.

In Ben King's timeline there was speculation about what NSA personnel, NSA contractors, allied agencies and their personnel could do with the data being collected by and for NSA around the globe. Stock trading using secret or insider knowledge was one option. Spying on political adversaries was another.

In the hashtag #NSARomCom below, _romcom_ refers to romantic comedy, a sub-genre of comedy. In romantic comedies, individuals overcome obstacles in their struggle to find true love. The hashtag was used to imagine romantic comedies involving NSA surveillance. Each tweet below with the #NSARomCom hashtag is followed by explanations of the major term or concept introduced in each tweet.

**He's Just Not That Into Your Constitutional Right to Privacy.** #NSAromcom

23 August 2013 Ryan Teague Beckwith ‏@ryanbeckwith [^156.6] https://twitter.com/ryanbeckwith/status/371093806571335680 His bio and stats on 24 August 2013: Politics editor at Digital First Media's Project Thunderdome. Part-time journalism teacher at @hoyajournalism. RTs≠RTBs. Washington, D.C. · digitalfirstmedia.com. 24,368 tweets. 2,674 following. 5,182 followers.

Amendment IV of the United States Constitution is part of the Bill of Rights. The fourth amendment protects American citizens from warrantless searches and seizures (i.e., collection). This explains why NSA ostensibly targets foreigners, but in the process manages to collect and retain information on Americans, thereby circumventing the Constitutional right to privacy cited above.

The complete text of Amendment IV:

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

**How I Metadated Your Mother** #NSARomCom

23 August 2013 Tim Dickinson ‏@7im [^156.7] https://twitter.com/7im/status/371135875280683008 His bio and stats on 24 August 2013: I cover the National Affairs beat for Rolling Stone. timdickinson.net. 19,613 tweets. 1,747 following. 9,099 followers.

Tim Dickinson plays on the title of the CBS comedy series How I Met Your Mother, which premiered on CBS television on 19 September 2005.

_Metadata_ is the data outside of the actual content of a communication. For voice calls, metadata includes who you call, how long you converse, and where you are located. Metadata represents extremely personal information. Metadata is easier to search than the voice content of a call. If you have enough metadata, then you may not need voice-content data because of how much that metadata can reveal about someone's life.

The next several tweets examine metadata-collection issues. Then the subject returns to #NSARomCom.

**When did our gov'ts decide that metadata surveillance is not spying? And if that was true, why didn't they tell us?** http://j.mp/HjZM11

24 October 2013 Colin Freeze ‏@Colinfreeze [^156.8] https://twitter.com/Colinfreeze/status/393571752023846913 His bio: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/authors/colin-freeze - 4,889 tweets. 1,168 following. 4,581 followers. Canadian.

The link points to:

"Snowden disputes Feinstein claim that NSA spying isn't 'surveillance,'" by Brendan Sasso, The Hill, Thursday, 24 October 2013,  http://thehill.com/blogs/hillicon-valley/technology/330497-snowden-fires-back-at-feinstein-over-surveillance-claim

Brendan Sasso @BrendanSasso [^156.9] Twitter bio on 24 October 2013: Technology policy reporter for The Hill. Location: Washington, DC · http://thehill.com/blogs/hillicon-valley \- 1,595 tweets. 675 following. 1,648 followers.

The Hill @thehill [^156.10] Twitter bio on 24 October 2013: The Hill is a congressional newspaper that publishes daily when Congress is in session. Location: Washington, DC · thehill.com - 56,622 tweets. 326,247 following. 377,914 followers.

Edward Snowden @Snowden [^156.11] Bio and stats of his verified Twitter account on 4 October 2015: I used to work for the government. Now I work for the public. Director at FreedomofPress. freedom.press - 14 tweets. 1 following. 1,343,993 followers. His first tweet, posted on 29 September 2015, received over 120k retweets as of 4 October 2015: Can you hear me now? https://twitter.com/Snowden/status/648890134243487744

Brendon Sasso's article opens:

National Security Agency leaker Edward Snowden on Thursday disputed Sen. Dianne Feinstein's (D-Calif.) claim that the government's phone record collection program is not "surveillance."

"Today, no telephone in America makes a call without leaving a record with the NSA. Today, no Internet transaction enters or leaves America without passing through the NSA's hands," Snowden said in a statement Thursday.

"Our representatives in Congress tell us this is not surveillance. They're wrong."

Related:

If I could change just one thing about wiretap law, it would be to increase protection for metadata.

13 May 2013 matt blaze ‏@mattblaze [^156.12] https://twitter.com/mattblaze/status/334065422196432896 His Twitter bio and stats on 27 August 2013: Scientist, safecracker. 140 is the new 1536. crypto.com/blog/ - 6,206 tweets. 295 following. 6,379 followers.

Reply:

.@mattblaze How about recognizing metadata = content b/c it is information "concerning the substance, purport, or meaning" of comm?

13 May 2013 Kurt Opsahl ‏@kurtopsahl [^156.13] https://twitter.com/kurtopsahl/status/334067935423369219 His Twitter bio and stats on 27 August 2013: Attorney with the Electronic Frontier Foundation (@eff), focused on protecting your rights to free expression, privacy and fair use online. Tweets are my own. eff.org. 3,744 tweets. 327 following. 2,098 followers.

b/c = because.

Yes, metadata can be an important tool for intel and law enforcement. Which is why they should use the legal process for getting it.

14 June 2013 matt blaze ‏@mattblaze [^156.14] https://twitter.com/mattblaze/status/345769098132729856 His Twitter bio and stats on 27 August 2013: Scientist, safecracker. 140 is the new 1536. crypto.com/blog/ - 6,206 tweets. 295 following. 6,379 followers.

Response:

@mattblaze Problem is, they DID use a legal process. They need a more selective, restricted, and transparent process. :)

15 June 2013 David Schuetz ‏@DarthNull [^156.15] https://twitter.com/DarthNull/status/345884425055256576 Twitter bio and stats on 27 August 2013: Computer security professional, iOS hacker, Geocacher, Mac user. Co-creator of http://KhanFu.com . Location: Chantilly, VA · darthnull.org. 18,002 tweets. 444 following. 1,499 followers.

Returning to #NSARomCom:

**What Happens in Vegas Stays in the Utah Data Center** #NSAromcom

24 August 2013 mariya pylayev ‏@mpylayev [^156.16] https://twitter.com/mpylayev/status/371287205626396673 Her Twitter bio: web/video producer at @aolrealestate, @aoljobs and @daily_finance. likes biz, tech, space and data viz. Location: brooklyn, ny. 1,162 tweets. 333 following. 255 followers.

The NSA's Utah Data Center (UDC) is in Camp Williams, near Bluffdale, Utah. Known within the NSA as the Mission Data Repository or MDR, the data center is designed to store huge amounts of data for long periods of time. The one-million-square-foot facility was under construction at the time of the tweet above. Before the MDR, the NSA was not able to store all the data it wanted for as long as it wanted.

Critics charge that the MDR, in conjunction with NSA's collection programs, will enable the United States to collect, store, and analyze global communications to such an extent that privacy, as we know it, will be eliminated. Critics assert that the NSA's lack of transparency and accountability are threats to open, democratic society. The criminalization of investigative journalism (especially journalism on privacy issues) creates a climate of fear surrounding reporting on those issues, critics add, charging that "the national security state" is pursuing some investigative journalists the way it pursues terrorists.

Source of the information above on the UDC/MDR and criticisms of its role: "Exclusive Glenn Greenwald Interview: "I Won't Be Kept Out of My Country for Doing Journalism!"" interview by Jonathan Franklin, Truthout, 26 August 2013,  http://www.truth-out.org/news/item/18402-i-wont-be-kept-out-of-my-country-for-doing-journalism-exclusive-glenn-greenwald-truthout-interview

Twitter bio and stats on 27 August 2013 for Jonathan Franklin @chileanwinter [^156.17] Author of 33 Men, Chilean Mining Saga Reporter for GQ/Esquire/Guardian – Location: NYC · AddictVillage.com. 93 tweets. 141 following. 65 followers.

Twitter bio and stats on 27 August 2013 for Glenn Greenwald @ggreenwald [^156.18] Columnist for the Guardian - author, With Liberty and Justice for Some - dog/animal fanatic - PGP public key (http://is.gd/RppXtr ) - RT ≠ endorsement. http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/series/glenn-greenwald-security-liberty \- 37,936 tweets. 799 following. 253,142 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 20 May 2014: Journalist with @The_Intercept - author, With Liberty & Justice for Some - dog/animal fanatic - email/PGP public key (https://firstlook.org/theintercept/staff/glenn-greenwald/ ) theintercept.com – 45,430 tweets. 921 following. 355,098 followers.

Twitter bio and stats on 27 August 2013 for Truthout @truthout [^156.19] Truthout is dedicated to providing independent news & commentary. We hope to inspire the direct action necessary to save the planet & humanity. Official Tweets. Location: United States · truth-out.org. 17,558 tweets. 50,192 following. 73,150 followers.

**"Warrantless in Seattle"** #NSAromcom

23 August 2013 John M. Donnelly ‏@johnmdonnelly [^156.20] https://twitter.com/johnmdonnelly/status/371093996434898944 His Twitter bio and stats on 24 August 2013: Congressional Quarterly-Roll Call defense reporter; chairman, National Press Club Press Freedom Committee; Standing Committee of Correspondents, U.S. Congress. Location: Washington, D.C. 10,569 tweets. 952 following. 2,008 followers.

Plays on the title of the romantic comedy Sleepless in Seattle, co-written and directed by Nora Ephron. It starred Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.

The hashtag #NSARomCom above was superseded in popularity by the more pointed #NSAPickUpLines:

#NSAPickUpLines **"I'm sort of like James Bond, if James Bond never left his cubicle."**

25 August 2013 Duncan MacMaster ‏@FuriousDShow [^156.21] https://twitter.com/FuriousDShow/status/371583490996727809 Twitter bio: Writer, pop culture blogger, & creator of e-book Studio Notes For Classic Literature for Kindle $2.99: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B009VKS2TG/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_dp_vlgIqb19XMDYR... My opinions are actually facts. Location: Lost In Time & Space · dknowsall.blogspot.com. 35,138 tweets. 1,987 following. 884 followers.

#NSAPickUpLines **"I feel like I've known you since you got that cellphone for your 15th birthday."**

24 August 2013 Gregor Mendel ‏@GregortheMendel [^156.22] https://twitter.com/GregortheMendel/status/371432255379365888 Her Twitter bio and stats on 25 August 2013: I am a constantly mutating human female. Protean, really. Science and medicine-loving abogado. Past Board Member, ACLU of Texas. Tweets not legal advice. Location: Dallas, for now. 5,887 tweets. 1,652 following. 515 followers.

#NSAPickUpLines **ask me anything about yourself.**

25 August 2013 Brian ‏@Blind_Brian [^156.23] https://twitter.com/Blind_Brian/status/371574784259141632 Twitter bio: FAM. Location: Lot 48. 14,196 tweets. 134 following. 115 followers.

**You're free Friday. Would you like to have dinner?** #NSAPickUpLines

24 August 2013 Jay Rosen ‏@jayrosen_nyu [^156.24] https://twitter.com/jayrosen_nyu/status/371484117990248448 His Twitter bio and stats on 25 August 2013: I teach journalism at NYU, direct the Studio 20 program there, critique the press and study new media. I don't do lifecasting but mindcasting on Twitter. Location: New York City · pressthink.org. 27,063 tweets. 784 following. 123,543 followers.

**NSA: We told you we needed this massive spying network to find terrorists. But stalking our high school girlfriends is far more fun.** #YOLO

23 August 2013 Christopher Soghoian ‏@csoghoian [^156.25] https://twitter.com/csoghoian/status/371092078492524544 His Twitter bio and stats on 25 August 2013: Principal Technologist and Senior Policy Analyst, Speech, Privacy and Technology Project, ACLU. (Views expressed here are my own.) Location: Washington, DC · dubfire.net. 8,453 tweets. 282 following. 23,389 followers.

YOLO = you only live once, an acronym employed as an excuse for stupid actions.

The scope for LOVEINT stalking is bolstered by the availability of webcam images captured without the knowledge or permission of computer users. Such bulk, warrantless worldwide collection includes a substantial number of nude images, captured while computer users assumed that they were not being photographed. Nude images can be used by intelligence agencies to blackmail, coerce and discredit their clients' political opponents and economic competitors. Collected by Britain's GCHQ and likely made available to the United States, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand through the Five Eyes Alliance, it has given those governments an immense collection of soft and hardcore pornography.

See: "Yahoo webcam images from millions of users intercepted by GCHQ," Spencer Ackerman and James Ball, The Guardian, 27 February 2014,  http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/feb/27/gchq-nsa-webcam-images-internet-yahoo

Lede:

• Optic Nerve program collected Yahoo webcam images in bulk

• 1.8m users targeted by UK agency in six-month period alone

• Yahoo: 'A whole new level of violation of our users' privacy'

• Material included large quantity of sexually explicit images

Spencer Ackerman @attackerman [^156.26] Twitter bio and stats on 28 February 2014: U.S. national security editor at the Guardian. Ex-WIRED. Personal-vice-professional views here. The Internet is for fun. Location: D.C. · theguardian.com – 33,786 tweets. 1,527 following. 45,154 followers.

James Ball @jamesrbuk [^156.27] Twitter bio and stats on 28 February 2014: Special Projects Editor @GuardianUS, sometime lecturer, occasional author. Assange devotee, MI5 stooge. Personal account. Location: NYC · http://www.theguardian.com/profile/jamesball - 76,189 tweets. 1,496 following. 22,252 followers.

The Guardian @guardian [^156.28] Twitter bio and stats on 28 February 2014: Top stories, special features, live blogs and more from http://theguardian.com – Location: London · https://www.vizify.com/the-guardian/twitter-video - 51,543 tweets. 1,071 following. 1,958,349 followers.

"7.1% of images contained undesirable nudity" Undesirable? Oh, GCHQ, methinks the spooks doth protest too much

#WankersOfMassDestruction

27 February 2014 Jonnie Marchbles ‏@JonnieMarbLes [^156.29] https://twitter.com/JonnieMarbLes/statuses/439054412829720577 Twitter bio and stats on 28 February 2014: Anarchy is what you make of it. Location: London · anarchish.blogspot.com - 65,871 tweets. 1,300 following. 11,632 followers.

Reply:

@JonnieMarbLes **To be fair they don't say how many of them contain *desirable* nudity**

27 February 2014 Alex Hern ‏@alexhern [^156.30] https://twitter.com/alexhern/status/439054529838215168 His bio and stats on 28 February 2014: Tech reporter & man Dogecoin correspondent for the Guardian. You can definitely guess my email address. PGP: 0x6F8E4C5C – Location: London · theguardian.com/profile/alex-hern - 48,645 tweets. 1,407 following. 6,046 followers.

@ggreenwald **What possible justification could they offer for such sinister intrusion into our private lives?**

27 February 2014 Kevin Hughes ‏@M0sstr00per [^156.31] https://twitter.com/M0sstr00per/status/439043472931434496 Twitter bio and stats on 28 February 2014: Falconer, Falconry, Celtic FC, natural history, Zoology, pottering about in the countryside. A salmon fishing Socialist. From the river to the sea! Location: The debatable lands. 3,111 tweets. 952 following. 319 followers.

Then:

@ZarrarKhuhro @ggreenwald **How long until criticising the govt becomes a reason to hide?**

27 February 2014 Kevin Hughes ‏@M0sstr00per [^156.32] https://twitter.com/M0sstr00per/status/439056103016779776 Twitter bio and stats on 28 February 2014: Falconer, Falconry, Celtic FC, natural history, Zoology, pottering about in the countryside. A salmon fishing Socialist. From the river to the sea! Location: The debatable lands. 3,111 tweets. 952 following. 319 followers.

Pro-tip: when GCHQ 0wns users due to your lousy design

1. Act indignant

2. Say "we take security seriously"

3. Announce new CSO

# **Yahoo** # **lame**

28 February 2014 Cem Paya ‏@randomoracle [^156.33] https://twitter.com/randomoracle/status/439574241063628801 Bio: Head of security for Airbnb, NYC refugee adjusting to Bay Area life, MSFT & Google alumni (Opinions expressed are my own; I do not speak for my employer.) Location: San Francisco · randomoracle.wordpress.com - 1,290 tweets. 179 following. 311 followers. Two spaces have been added after every period in the above tweet.

0wns refers to taking over, owning. Variants include pown, pwn and p0wn. The tweet decries Yahoo's longstanding reluctance to implement basic privacy and security protections for its users, including users of its messaging service, which GCHQ exploited to collect nude images of Yahoo users. CSO = chief security officer.

Data breach reported! Affected company bringing in experts to generate PowerPoint report, give sysadmin CISO title, add WAF in passive mode.

22 March 2014 Info Security Jerk ‏@infosecjerk [^156.34] https://twitter.com/infosecjerk/status/447557210722562048 Bio: I want to educate you about security, but I'm not going to sugarcoat it. You make risky decisions and need some tough love. RTs of me are endorsements. Location: Everywhere. 3,215 tweets. 471 following. 6,804 followers.

CISO = chief information security officer.

Then:

I like to perform auth attacks using names and SSNs of the SOC analysts and CISO as usernames to see if it's treated as a reportable breach.

22 March 2014 Info Security Jerk ‏@infosecjerk [^156.35] https://twitter.com/infosecjerk/status/447561342816645120 Bio: I want to educate you about security, but I'm not going to sugarcoat it. You make risky decisions and need some tough love. RTs of me are endorsements. Location: Everywhere. 3,215 tweets. 471 following. 6,804 followers. SSN = Social Security number, used as an identification and reference number by numerous government agencies in the US.

Only the NSA knows what a good dancer I am.

26 February 2014 50% More Slime ‏@navanax [^156.36] https://twitter.com/navanax/status/438831560179974144 Bio and stats on 25 March 2014: Humor is not just my defence; it is also my primary mode of attack. Location: The Big Smoke. 4,074 tweets. 1,715 following. 6,049 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  157. Reactions to mass surveillance

Leaks which showed systematic internet surveillance.

Useful only to our enemies in that it shows how we've breached our values

#newsnight

17 October 2013 Michael Harris ‏@mjrharris [^157.1] https://twitter.com/mjrharris/status/390234329005060097 His Twitter bio and stats on 17 October 2013: Head of Advocacy at Index on Censorship. Labour Councillor for Lewisham Central. Tweets personal. Location: Lewisham, London · mjrharris.co.uk - 9,134 tweets. 998 following. 2,163 followers.

" **Someone has to protect us from the people protecting us.** "

17 February 2014 Matt Stancliff ‏@mattsta [^157.2] https://twitter.com/mattsta/status/435474543311089664 Bio and stats on 26 February 2014: A full time homosexual extremist and part time computational neuroscientist. Available for parties and corporate events. Location: New York, NY 11109 · matt.io - 7,410 tweets. 72 following. 322 followers.

Snowden revelations are the tech industry's 9/11, not re: deaths but in the sense of a new scale of external attack.

18 January 2014 Manish Vij ‏@manish_vij [^157.3] https://twitter.com/manish_vij/status/424645450944090112 Bio: Cofounder, http://arroapp.com ; writer, explorer of beaches. Location: SF Bay Area · manishvij.com - 16.147 tweets. 106 following. 1,171 followers.

NSA's data theft is a kind of skimming scheme: just 50K people stealing comms and data from 7 billion.

17 January 2014 Manish Vij ‏@manish_vij [^157.4] https://twitter.com/manish_vij/status/424291712161157122 Bio and stats on 18 January 2014: Cofounder, http://arroapp.com ; writer, explorer of beaches. Location: SF Bay Area · manishvij.com \- 16.147 tweets. 106 following. 1,171 followers.

DOJ threw the book at Aaron Swartz for downloading academic papers. Those who heisted the entire Net are off scot-free.

17 January 2014 Manish Vij ‏@manish_vij [^157.5] https://twitter.com/manish_vij/status/424293901906624512 Bio and stats on 18 January 2014: Cofounder, http://arroapp.com ; writer, explorer of beaches. Location: SF Bay Area · manishvij.com \- 16.147 tweets. 106 following. 1,171 followers. DOJ = the US Department of Justice, which prosecutes federal crimes.

Following the publication by the Guardian newspaper of information received from Edward Snowden on the nature and extent of NSA's surveillance and penetration programs, the first major European event by and for privacy enthusiasts was OHM2013, a five-day camping festival in the Netherlands that took place from 31 July 2013 to 4 August 2013. Vinay Gupta ‏was there:

**I noticed that even at** # **OHM2013 there was a certain paralysis in the air: hardened** # **cypherpunks shocked into silence. Very moving.** #bigpix

9 August 2013 Vinay Gupta ‏@leashless [^157.6] https://twitter.com/leashless/status/365824381072580609 His Twitter bio: Beyond good taste and evil. Global resilience guru. What do you do after it all goes wrong? And what about the poor, for whom it's never yet been right? Location: London, sometimes Ireland · vinay.howtolivewiki.com/blog/about - 60,399 tweets. 1,756 following. 4,672 followers.

Reply:

@leashless **i found it polarised; between those who didn't know what to do and did nothing. and those who also didn't know but did something**

9 August 2013 tef ‏@tef [^157.7] https://twitter.com/tef/status/365825479619526658 Twitter bio: troublemaker, bad programmer, underachieving smart-arse. Location: The Internet · programmingisterrible.com - 13,764 tweets. 566 following. 1,413 followers.

@leashless **unfortunately, the latter group didn't always succeed in helping people secure things, and in some cases undermined security**

9 August 2013 tef ‏@tef [^157.8] https://twitter.com/tef/status/365825657495760896 Twitter bio: troublemaker, bad programmer, underachieving smart-arse. Location: The Internet · programmingisterrible.com - 13,764 tweets. 566 following. 1,413 followers.

Vinay Gupta one week later:

**If I know for a fact every message I send is logged in a giant correlated database and used to infer, should I not speak?** # **cyberinsecurity**

16 August 2013 Vinay Gupta ‏@leashless [^157.9] https://twitter.com/leashless/status/368296606602256384 His Twitter bio and stats on 20 August 2013: Beyond good taste and evil. Global resilience guru. What do you do after it all goes wrong? And what about the poor, for whom it's never yet been right? Location: London, sometimes Ireland · vinay.howtolivewiki.com/blog/about. 60,793 tweets. 1,765 following. 4,702 followers.

**We got into a dream of the internet as space of freedom and possibility, but it turns out to be a glass prison. <sad face>** # **cyberinsecurity**

16 August 2013 Vinay Gupta ‏@leashless [^157.10] https://twitter.com/leashless/status/368296844666761216 His Twitter bio and stats on 20 August 2013: Beyond good taste and evil. Global resilience guru. What do you do after it all goes wrong? And what about the poor, for whom it's never yet been right? Location: London, sometimes Ireland · vinay.howtolivewiki.com/blog/about. 60,793 tweets. 1,765 following. 4,702 followers.

Reply:

@leashless **any new medium we just have to beat back the dogs of tyranny. . .**

sure Church wanted to control the print press when that came

16 August 2013 glenn jeffery ‏@westcape [^157.11] https://twitter.com/westcape/status/368298346500218880 His Twitter bio and stats on 20 August 2013: Dad, husband, psychiatrist, believer [Big Book, Bible, Bill of Rights] freckled (multiple) and tattooed (just one) -- NYC and PEI. 1,808 tweets. 806 following. 151 followers.

The historian James Hester:

Fascinating, and a bit disconcerting, to see my hacker friends frightened and seemingly at a loss as to what to do in light of recent news.

5 September 2013 James Hester ‏@appliedhistory [^157.12] https://twitter.com/appliedhistory/status/375807336335413248 Bio and stats on 22 September 2013: I'm a strategist cunningly disguised as an historian. Using relevant insights from the past, I offer solutions to better navigate the present and the future. Location: Boston, MA · appliedhistory.co.uk - 2,639 tweets. 97 following. 260 followers.

**After** # **BULLRUN and** # **EDGEHILL revelations, does this mean there's no secure way of corresponding over long distances w/out a trusted courier?**

6 September 2013 James Hester ‏@appliedhistory [^157.13] https://twitter.com/appliedhistory/status/375944328956223488 Bio and stats on 22 September 2013: I'm a strategist cunningly disguised as an historian. Using relevant insights from the past, I offer solutions to better navigate the present and the future. Location: Boston, MA · appliedhistory.co.uk - 2,639 tweets. 97 following. 260 followers. w/o = without.

**Email/phone can be monitored, mail can theoretically be opened. So unless someone you trust hand delivers a letter, what?** #BULLRUN #EDGEHILL

6 September 2013 James Hester ‏@appliedhistory [^157.14] https://twitter.com/appliedhistory/status/375944700223451136 Bio and stats on 22 September 2013: I'm a strategist cunningly disguised as an historian. Using relevant insights from the past, I offer solutions to better navigate the present and the future. Location: Boston, MA · appliedhistory.co.uk - 2,639 tweets. 97 following. 260 followers.

Mail above refers to paper mail, i.e., snail mail.

Kevin Drum in _Mother Jones_ :

In the past, outside of police states, there were practical limits to surveillance simply because people communicated in so many different ways. Today, we're moving toward a world in which virtually all communication is done via a single global digital network. This has obviously empowered individuals in a broad and complex set of ways, but as our lives become more and more dependent on the internet, it has also provided governments with a single point of contact for nearly ubiquitous surveillance.

Source: "Quote of the Day: Control Over the Internet Is the "Struggle of Our Generation,"" by Kevin Drum, Mother Jones, 25 September 2013, http://www.motherjones.com/kevin-drum/2013/09/quote-day-greenwald-control-internet-struggle-generation The "Quote of the Day" referenced in the title of the article was made by Glenn Greenwald in an interview with Noam Sheizaf of Haaretz, published as: "Defending the NSA leaks || Glenn Greenwald to Haaretz: Why whistleblower Snowden came to me. How a meeting with a young computer expert in Hong Kong changed the life of a Guardian journalist," by Noam Sheizaf, Haaretz, 21 September 2013, http://www.haaretz.com/weekend/magazine/.premium-1.547506 On 31 July 2014 this article was found to be behind a paywall. Underlining added to the title of Kevin Drum's article above.

Kevin Drum @kdrum [^157.15] Twitter bio and stats on 25 September 2013: Political blogger and writer for Mother Jones magazine. Location: Irvine, CA · motherjones.com/kevin-drum/ -12,351 tweets. 185 following. 28,312 followers.

Mother Jones @MotherJones [^157.16] Twitter bio and stats on 25 September 2013: Investigative journalism, politics, chart-tastic and sometimes sarcastic. We're the non-profit news organization that brought you the 47 Percent video. motherjones.com. 83,439 tweets. 946 following. 300,388 followers.

Glenn Greenwald @ggreenwald [^157.17] Twitter bio on 15 October 2013: Columnist for the Guardian - author, With Liberty and Justice for Some - dog/animal fanatic - PGP public key (http://is.gd/RppXtr ) - RT ≠ endorsement. http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/series/glenn-greenwald-security-liberty \- 39,555 tweets. 825 following. 276,521 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 20 May 2014: Journalist with @The_Intercept - author, With Liberty & Justice for Some - dog/animal fanatic - email/PGP public key (https://firstlook.org/theintercept/staff/glenn-greenwald/ ) theintercept.com – 45,430 tweets. 921 following. 355,098 followers.

noam sheizaf @nsheizaf [^157.18] Twitter bio and stats on 5 April 2014: Journalist. I tweet in English and Hebrew. Location: Tel Aviv. 972mag.com/author/noams/ - 6,190 tweets. 400 following. 6,260 followers. noam sheizaf is his screen name.

Haaretz.com @haaretzcom [^157.19] Twitter bio and stats on 5 April 2015: All the news from Israel, the Middle East and the Jewish World. Location: Israel. haaretz.com. 37,227 tweets. 470 following. 128,652 followers.

Vinay Gupta again:

The only way to maintain political legitimacy in a panopticon state is to have extremely minimal laws which are universally enforced.

8 October 2013 Vinay Gupta ‏@leashless [^157.20] https://twitter.com/leashless/status/387768600867512320 Bio: Beyond good taste and evil. Global resilience guru. What do you do after it all goes wrong? And what about the poor, for whom it's never yet been right? Location: London, sometimes Ireland · vinay.howtolivewiki.com/blog/about - 69,763 tweets. 1,895 following. 5,040 followers.

_Panopticon_ is a prison design where cells are positioned in a circle around a central rotunda, from where a single guard can keep all cells under constant observation.

In Spain after the "Triumph of Christianity" in 1492, churches were sited and built with panopticon views overlooking the houses of each village and the comings-and-goings of the residents. Churches served as torture centers during the Spanish Inquisition and then again during the Franco dictatorship of 1939-1975. The Triumph refers not to the discovery of America in 1492 but to Spain's expulsion of Muslims and then Jews. Many of those who accepted conversion in lieu of expulsion had their descendents hunted down, tortured and killed during the Inquisition, which was funded entirely from the sale of properties taken from those who confessed or were found guilty of blasphemy or other forms of heresy, i.e., their beliefs or opinions were inconsistent with official doctrines or opinions. The overwhelming majority of the Inquisition's victims were Christians. The Inquisition was not abolished in Spain until 15 July 1834, by which time censorship had become its main function.

Otherwise the government simply accumulates vast piles of evidence of crimes which they selective prosecute: the very definition of tyranny.

8 October 2013 Vinay Gupta ‏@leashless [^157.21] https://twitter.com/leashless/status/387768791305691138 Bio: Beyond good taste and evil. Global resilience guru. What do you do after it all goes wrong? And what about the poor, for whom it's never yet been right? Location: London, sometimes Ireland · vinay.howtolivewiki.com/blog/about - 69,763 tweets. 1,895 following. 5,040 followers.

"Whatever is not compulsory is forbidden," is a norm in tyrannies, where everyone who is not a ruler can always be found to be involved in some transgression or another. It has also served as a norm in British so-called public (i.e. private) schools, at least until recently. This helps explain why British public-school graduates who find themselves in concentration camps, prisons, spy organizations or the military often fare better than graduates of government schools, who are less adapted to sadomasochism, totalism and rigid hierarchies. "Public" refers to the acceptance of students from families outside the Church of England, the state religion headed by the ruling Monarch. Although they now admit children from outside the "C of E," British public schools have traditionally operated as parochial, religiously based institutions – where authority is legitimized on both temporal and religious grounds. These institutions function as mechanisms of cultural reproduction, passing on cultural values to new generations. This occurs less through formal coursework than through socialization, which inculcates students with the social skills, values, attitudes and personal connections to function at or near the top of the British class system.

Most British public-school graduates become tories, defined as those who support traditional political and social institutions and largely oppose efforts at democratization and reform, although abuses are to be remedied where found. The tories emerged from the losing side in the English civil wars. They went on to support the losing side in the Glorious Revolution of 1688, the losers in the Jacobite risings of 1688 to 1746, and the losers in the American revolution of 1776-1781.

Five years after surrendering to the Americans and French at Yorktown, Virginia, in 1781, British General Charles Cornwallis was appointed the colonial administrator and military commander-in-chief of British India. The lesson he brought to India was that the mixing of colonizers and colonized needed to be discouraged. In the American colonies, the emergence of a hybridized local culture had made that revolution possible. Cornwallis did his best to reverse similar developments in India. The taxation, administrative and legal systems he established before his death in India in 1805 largely survived the 1857 revolution and its aftermath. Aspects of those systems remain in South Asia today.

For more on Cornwallis in India, see: White Mughals: Love and Betrayal in Eighteenth-Century India, by William Dalrymple, HarperCollins, 2002.

Now back to the issues of surveillance and over-policing in modern society.

Chase Madar writing about the United States:

The term "police state" was once brushed off by mainstream intellectuals as the hyperbole of paranoids. Not so much anymore. Even in the tweediest precincts of the legal system, the over-criminalization of American life is remarked upon with greater frequency and intensity. "You're probably a (federal) criminal" is the accusatory title of a widely read essay co-authored by Judge Alex Kozinski of the 9th Circuit of the U.S. Court of Appeals. A Republican appointee, Kozinski surveys the morass of criminal laws that make virtually every American an easy target for law enforcement. Veteran defense lawyer Harvey Silverglate has written an entire book about how an average American professional could easily commit three felonies in a single day without knowing it...

Many who have long railed against our country's everyday police overkill have reacted to the revelations of NSA surveillance with detectable exasperation: of course we are over-policed! Some have even responded with peevish resentment: Why so much sympathy for this Snowden kid when the daily grind of our justice system destroys so many lives without comment or scandal? After all, in New York, the police department's "stop and frisk" tactic, which targets African American and Latino working-class youth for routinized street searches, was until recently uncontroversial among the political and opinion-making class. If "the gloves came off" after September 11, 2001, many Americans were surprised to learn they had ever been on to begin with....

Extreme policing is exacerbated by extreme sentencing... Our incarceration rate is the highest in the world, triple that of the now-defunct East Germany. The incarceration rate for African American men is about five times higher than that of the Soviet Union at the peak of the gulag.

[End of Chase Madar's quotes.]

Chase Madar's quotes, separated by ellipsis, are from: "The Over-Policing of America—Police Overkill Has Entered the DNA of Social Policy," by Chase Madar, TomDispatch, 8 December 2013,  http://www.tomdispatch.com/post/175781/tomgram%3A_chase_madar%2C_the_criminalization_of_everyday_life/ The order in which Madar's quotes appear above has been altered from the order in which the material originally appeared. The paragraph above that begins "Many who have long railed" is the penultimate paragraph in his article. To fully appreciate Chase Madar's arguments, his article can be read in its entirety.

Chase Madar @ChMadar [^157.22] Twitter bio and stats on 11 December 2013: attorney & author, The Passion of [Chelsea] Manning: The Story behind the Wikileaks Whistleblower (Verso, 2013). Location: New York · http://www.versobooks.com/books/1401-the-passion-of-bradley-manning \- 11,661 tweets. 2,528 following. 3,591 followers.

TomDispatch @TomDispatch [^157.23] Twitter bio and stats on 11 December 2013: For those seeking a deeper understanding of our post-9/11 world & a clear sense of how our imperial globe actually works. http://facebook.com/tomdispatch - tomdispatch.com. 5,118 tweets. 348 following. 9,994 followers.

Chase Madar's article opens:

"If all you've got is a hammer, then everything starts to look like a nail. And if police and prosecutors are your only tool, sooner or later everything and everyone will be treated as criminal. This is increasingly the American way of life, a path that involves "solving" social problems (and even some non-problems) by throwing cops at them, with generally disastrous results. Wall-to-wall criminal law encroaches ever more on everyday life as police power is applied in ways that would have been unthinkable just a generation ago."

In his article, Chase Madar describes "The School-to-Prison Pipeline." He also describes how air travel involves increasingly intimate pat-downs and arbitrary rules, which he characterizes as nothing more than security theater.

The "stop and frisk" operations described above could be characterized as "stop, arrest-without-cause and release-without-charges," as the New York City police sought to demonstrate that they were "solving" crimes through high arrest rates for young black men. Going beyond Chase Madar's article, it should be noted that in the United States since at least the 1990s, arrests rather than convictions have quietly become disqualifying factors in pre-employment screening. This has huge but largely unspoken repercussions.

The police practice of "stop, arrest-without-cause and release-without-charges" is not limited to New York City. It has been used to intimidate and punish individuals suspected of organizing protests against police violence and harassment, including some of those quoted in this book.

Police harassment is a factor in the re-segregation of urban areas, because it encourages blacks move to suburbs. Poor suburbs have become America's new ghettos. But the harassment doesn't end there.

In the St. Louis suburb of Ferguson, Missouri, fines and court fees provided the local government with its second largest source of revenue in 2013. Ferguson residents had a per-household average that year of three warrants and $321 in fines and court fees, stemming in large part from low-level harassment by white police officers operating in a predominantly black municipality. The following year, Ferguson saw numerous large demonstrations after Michael ("Mike") Brown, an unarmed black teenager, was shot and killed there by a white police officer, who was not charged in connection with Brown's death. These demonstrations spread across the country, with many of the people interviewed for this book participating – not only to protest Brown's death, but to highlight the need for social and economic changes that go beyond the criminal justice system and the issue of police violence.

The Ferguson demonstrations drew attention to the problem of policing for profit, in which police officers can be given quotas for issuing tickets, which drives aggressive policing, especially in poor neighborhoods. Policing for profit is often accompanied by exorbitant surcharges for late payments, which may be applied only a few days after a ticket is issued. In addition to seeking a nationwide end to policing for profit, demonstrators in Ferguson and elsewhere agitated for a de-militarization of the police and a re-assertion of the First Amendment rights to free speech and assembly. Demonstrators in Ferguson after the killing of Mike Brown in 2014 were met by law-enforcement officers in full camouflage uniforms, equipped with automatic carbines and other combat gear, and watched over by a sniper team perched atop an armored vehicle.

Reporters covering some of the largest, most contested demonstrations in Ferguson in 2014 found themselves corralled by police and placed in holding areas some distance away, so reporters could not see how demonstrators were being handled. Reporters who avoided removal and relocation risked being targeted for police violence. This follows practices established at other politically contentious protests in the United States, and brings the topic abruptly back to the issues raised by blanket surveillance, especially in regard to the influence of surveillance on the news media's ability to do its job.

Glenn Greenwald:

The United States has constructed this worldwide, secret, suspicionless surveillance system that among other things collects...data [on] who was talking to whom. [It] is seen quite rightly by journalists around the world as probably the greatest menace to press freedom because if you don't have sources who can come to you in confidence that they are speaking to you in anonymity it destroys the newsgathering process.

The above quote by Glenn Greenwald is from: "Greenwald wants to return to US, but not yet," by Robert Mahoney/CPJ Deputy Director, Committee to Protect Journalists, no date, but probably 15 October 2013.  https://www.cpj.org/blog/2013/10/greenwald-wants-to-return-to-us-but-not-yet.php The use of [It] appears above as it did in Robert Mahoney's article. Elipsis replace "the" above. [on] added above.

Glenn Greenwald @ggreenwald [^157.24] Twitter bio on 15 October 2013: Columnist for the Guardian - author, With Liberty and Justice for Some - dog/animal fanatic - PGP public key (http://is.gd/RppXtr ) - RT ≠ endorsement. http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/series/glenn-greenwald-security-liberty \- 39,555 tweets. 825 following. 276,521 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 20 May 2014: Journalist with @The_Intercept - author, With Liberty & Justice for Some - dog/animal fanatic - email/PGP public key (https://firstlook.org/theintercept/staff/glenn-greenwald/ ) theintercept.com – 45,430 tweets. 921 following. 355,098 followers.

Here is the biography of the article's author, which appeared at the bottom of the article: Robert Mahoney is CPJ's deputy director. He has worked as a reporter, editor, and bureau chief for Reuters throughout the world. Mahoney has led CPJ missions to global hot spots from Iraq to Sri Lanka. Follow him on Twitter @RobMahoney_CPJ.

Robert Mahoney @RobMahoney_CPJ [^157.25] Twitter bio on 15 October 2013: Journalist, deputy director Committee to Protect Journalists. Location: New York · cpj.org. 970 tweets. 144 following. 712 followers.

CPJ @pressfreedom [^157.26] Twitter bio on 15 October 2013: The Committee to Protect Journalists is an independent, nonprofit organization that promotes #PressFreedom worldwide. Location: International · cpj.org. 9,324 tweets. 668 following. 54,453 followers.

Gus Hosein:

" **given the Gov's previous reliance on warrantless surveillance to trace reporters' sources and monitor protected political activity...** "

24 February 2014 Gus ‏@GusHosein [^157.27] https://twitter.com/GusHosein/status/437877103883595777 Bio: I work at @privacyint. These tweets aren't necessarily work-related... I suffer, however, from a poor work-life balance. 1,716 tweets. 150 following. 500 followers.

Gus Hosein quotes Justice Thurgood Marshall above, from Marshall's dissenting opinion in a US Supreme Court case from 1979, which Hosein cites in this tweet:

Re-reading Smith v Maryland on a Monday is not a good idea. Dissenting opinions (Stewart and Marshall) are ideas we still are restating.

24 February 2014 Gus ‏@GusHosein [^157.28] https://twitter.com/GusHosein/status/437875795424313344 Bio: I work at @privacyint. These tweets aren't necessarily work-related... I suffer, however, from a poor work-life balance. 1,716 tweeting. 150 following. 500 followers.

Justice Thurgood Marshall's dissenting opinion in Smith v Maryland takes up the issues of pen registers and trap-and-trace devices. What are these metadata collection tools?

_Pen registers_ record outgoing telephone numbers as they are dialed. Pen _registers_ can be confused with penetration testing or pen _testing_ , in which someone tries to crack into a computer system.

_Trap-and-trace_ devices record the telephone numbers of incoming calls. Together, both methods of metadata collection are not as intrusive as wiretaps that record the full contents of communications, but neither are they afforded the same privacy protections.

Justice Thurgood Marshall's quote appeared in this paragraph of his dissenting opinion:

The use of pen registers, I believe, constitutes such an extensive intrusion. To hold otherwise ignores the vital role telephonic communication plays in our personal and professional relationships, see Katz v. United States, 389 U.S. at 389 U. S. 352, as well as the First and Fourth Amendment interests implicated by unfettered official surveillance. Privacy in placing calls is of value not only to those engaged in criminal activity. The prospect of unregulated governmental monitoring will undoubtedly prove disturbing even to those with nothing illicit to hide. Many individuals, including members of unpopular political organizations or journalists with confidential sources, may legitimately wish to avoid disclosure of their personal contacts. See NAACP v. Alabama, 357 U. S. 449, 357 U. S. 463 (1958); Branzburg v. Hayes, 408 U. S. 665, 408 U. S. 695 (1972); id. at 408 U. S. 728-734 (STEWART, J., dissenting). Permitting governmental access to telephone records on less than probable cause may thus impede certain forms of political affiliation and journalistic endeavor that are the hallmark of a truly free society. Particularly given the Government's previous reliance on warrantless telephonic surveillance to trace reporters' sources and monitor protected political activity, I am unwilling to insulate use of pen registers from independent judicial review.

Pierre Omidyar:

There goes freedom of association: NSA collects millions of e-mail address books globally

http://ow.ly/pP6i5

14 October 2013 Pierre Omidyar ‏@pierre [^157.29] https://twitter.com/pierre/status/390016508652716034 His Twitter bio and stats on 15 October 2013: Be you. Be cool. eBay, Omidyar Network, Peer News/Civil Beat. Location: Honolulu, HI · omidyargroup.com - 4,631 tweets. 338 following. 451,523 followers.

Tweeted the day before it was announced that Pierre Omidyar was supporting a new media project that came to be called The Intercept, @the_intercept. The announcement came from Glenn Greenwald, who said that he was leaving the Guardian to work on the project. See below for @the_intercept's Twitter bio and stats on 5 October 2014.

The link in Pierre Omidyar's tweet points to: "NSA collects millions of e-mail address books globally," by Barton Gellman and Ashkan Soltani, Washington Post, 14 October 2013,  http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/nsa-collects-millions-of-e-mail-address-books-globally/2013/10/14/8e58b5be-34f9-11e3-80c6-7e6dd8d22d8f_story.html

Because it was considered illegal to do so in the United States, the NSA reportedly collected Americans' Internet "buddy lists" and email address books from points outside the United States, which is not difficult given Internet traffic-routing practices.

Bulk collection of both the content and metadata of Americans' communications is permitted under Executive Order 12333, also known as _twelve triple three_. It was issued by President Ronald Reagan on 4 December 1981. John Napier Tye wrote that this executive order is not a statute and has never been subject to meaningful oversight from Congress or any court.

This article contributed information to the paragraph above: "Meet Executive Order 12333: The Reagan rule that lets the NSA spy on Americans," by John Napier Tye, Washington Post opinion section, 18 July 2014,  http://m.washingtonpost.com/opinions/meet-executive-order-12333-the-reagan-rule-that-lets-the-nsa-spy-on-americans/2014/07/18/93d2ac22-0b93-11e4-b8e5-d0de80767fc2_story.html

John Napier Tye [^157.30] no Twitter ID identified on 20 July 2014. His opinion piece contained this biography, as retrieved on 20 July 2014: "John Napier Tye served as section chief for Internet freedom in the State Department's Bureau of Democracy, Human Rights and Labor from January 2011 to April 2014. He is now a legal director of Avaaz [@avaaz and Avaaz.org], a global advocacy organization."

The Washington Post's biographical reference (Twitter bio and stats) is consolidated with other references to the Washington Post below.

See also:

"The Ghost of Ronald Reagan Authorizes Most NSA Spying," by Cora Currier @coracurrier and Ryan Devereaux @rdevro, The Intercept, @the_intercept, 29 September 2014,  https://firstlook.org/theintercept/2014/09/29/new-documents-confirm-expansive-spying-powers-reagan-era-order/

Cora Currier @coracurrier – Twitter bio and stats on 5 October 2014: Reporter at The Intercept. Email cora.currier at http://theintercept.com . – Location: New York. coracurrier.com - 2,159 tweets. 767 following. 2,044 followers. Additional citation information can be found in TASD's bibliography for the Currier-Devereaux article above.

Ryan Devereaux @rdevro – Twitter bio and stats on 5 October 2014: Reporter for The Intercept. ryan.devereaux(at)theintercept(dot)com. Location: Brooklyn, New York - theintercept.com - 10,607 tweets. 1,303 following. 19,030 followers. Additional citation information can be found in TASD's bibliography for the Currier-Devereaux article above.

The Intercept @the_intercept – Twitter bio and stats on 5 October 2014: Fearless, adversarial journalism. theintercept.com - 1,524 tweets. 407 following. 84,102 followers. Additional citation information can be found in TASD's bibliography for the Currier-Devereaux article above.

See also:

"NSA tracking cellphone locations worldwide, Snowden documents show," by Barton Gellman and Ashkan Soltani, Washington Post, 4 December 2013,  http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/nsa-tracking-cellphone-locations-worldwide-snowden-documents-show/2013/12/04/5492873a-5cf2-11e3-bc56-c6ca94801fac_story.html

"NSA tracking cellphone locations worldwide, Snowden documents show," by Barton Gellman and Ashkan Soltani in the Washington Post, begins:

The National Security Agency is gathering nearly 5 billion records a day on the whereabouts of cellphones around the world, according to top-secret documents and interviews with U.S. intelligence officials, enabling the agency to track the movements of individuals — and map their relationships — in ways that would have been previously unimaginable.

The records feed a vast database that stores information about the locations of at least hundreds of millions of devices, according to the officials and the documents, which were provided by former NSA contractor Edward Snowden. New projects created to analyze that data have provided the intelligence community with what amounts to a mass surveillance tool.

Source of the two paragraphs quoted above: "NSA tracking cellphone locations worldwide, Snowden documents show," by Barton Gellman and Ashkan Soltani, Washington Post, 4 December 2013,  http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/nsa-tracking-cellphone-locations-worldwide-snowden-documents-show/2013/12/04/5492873a-5cf2-11e3-bc56-c6ca94801fac_story.html

Barton Gellman @bartongellman [^157.31 & ^157.32 for his second article above] Twitter bio and stats on 15 October 2013: Author of 'Angler.' Next book: surveillance. @TCFdotorg @washingtonpost @Princeton | SilentText: bdg | PGP 1392 0437 2660 5D0E D556 C8A4 05F1 287D C38C 85C0 - OTR: b.g.@jabber.ccc.de · bartongellman.com - 2,877 tweets. 583 following. 10,305 followers.

ashkan soltani @ashk4n [^157.33 & ^157.34 for his second article above] Twitter bio and stats on 15 October 2013: I am an independent researcher and consultant focused on privacy, security, and behavioral economics. Location: DC · ashkansoltani.org. 5,576 tweets. 314 following. 5,262 followers.

Washington Post @washingtonpost [^157.35 & ^157.36 for Soltani & Gellman's two articles above, and ^157.37 for the opinion piece by John Napier Tye] Twitter bio and stats on 15 October 2013: Tweets about everything from breaking news to bad restaurants. Sometimes global, sometimes local. Most tweets by @TJOrtenzi. Location: Washington, D.C. · washingtonpost.com - 93,564 tweets. 918 following. 2,121,409 followers.

Responding to news about NSA tracking cellphone locations worldwide, Sami Mäkeläinen tweeted:

@aem76us It'd be simpler to just list stuff they _don't_ track. But seriously, what an out of control organization / government.

4 December 2013 Sami Mäkeläinen ‏@smakelainen [^157.38] https://twitter.com/smakelainen/status/408425533823651840 His bio: Mobile, sustainability & innovation specialist by day, generalist at heart. I think it'd be nice to leave a planet worth living in for those who come after us. Location: Melbourne, Australia · linkedin.com/in/smakelainen - 7,067 tweets. 519 following. 510 followers.

**Police can now turn on your webcam (and presumably microphone) without you knowing about it. Feeling safer?** [Link]

6 December 2013 Dan Gillmor ‏@dangillmor [^157.39] https://twitter.com/dangillmor/status/409152159645978624 Bio and stats on 7 December 2013: Bio and disclosures: http://dangillmor.com/about (photo by Joi Ito). Retweets mean I thought you should see this; usually that's an endorsement, sometimes not. Location: California, Arizona, etc. · dangillmor.com. 25,590 tweets. 573 following. 29,267 followers.

Link points to:

"FBI's search for 'Mo,' suspect in bomb threats, highlights use of malware for surveillance," by Craig Timberg and Ellen Nakashima, Washington Post, 6 December 2013, http://www.washingtonpost.com/business/technology/fbis-search-for-mo-suspect-in-bomb-threats-highlights-use-of-malware-for-surveillance/2013/12/06/352ba174-5397-11e3-9e2c-e1d01116fd98_print.html

Craig Timberg @craigtimberg [^157.40] Twitter bio and stats on 7 December 2013: Longtime WashPost reporter, editor and author now covering technology. Location: Washington, DC · craigtimberg.com. 151 tweets. 96 following. 618 followers.

Ellen Nakashima @nakashimae [^157.41] Twitter bio and stats on 7 December 2013: Washington, D.C. 181 tweets. 153 following. 1,004 followers.

Washington Post @washingtonpost [^157.42] Twitter bio and stats on 7 December 2013: Tweets about everything from breaking news to bad restaurants. Sometimes global, sometimes local. Most tweets by @TJOrtenzi. Location: Washington, D.C. · washingtonpost.com. 96,685 tweets. 956 following. 2,285,743 followers.

C.J. Chivers:

At TSA, "Security Checks Now Start Long Before U Fly"

**(** _Step by step, USG creating architecture of new police state_ **.)**

http://nyti.ms/183PtV3

22 October 2013 C.J. Chivers ‏@cjchivers [^157.43] https://twitter.com/cjchivers/status/392595656130301952 His Twitter bio: Senior Writer, The New York Times, covering conflict. Author of THE GUN, a history of automatic arms and their influence on war. chivers@nytimes.com - about.me/c.j.chivers - 2,519 tweets. 1,133 following. 33,978 followers. Italics added in the tweet above.

Among the 'defenserati' on Twitter at the time, no reporter covering armed conflicts was held in higher regard than C.J. Chivers. A former US Marine officer, the views of C.J. Chivers carry a special significance.

The URL in his tweet points to: "Security Check Now Starts Long Before You Fly," by Susan Stellin, The New York Times @nytimes, 2 October 2013, http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/22/business/security-check-now-starts-long-before-you-fly.html

Susan Stellin [^157.44] no Twitter ID found on 22 October 2013.

The New York Times @nytimes [^157.45] Twitter bio and stats on 22 October 2013: Where the conversation begins. Follow for breaking news, special reports, http://NYTimes.com homepage links and RTs of our journalists. Location: New York City · nytimes.com - 117,251 tweets. 810 following. 9,826,412 followers.

In her article, Susan Stellin reported on the Transportation Security Administration (TSA), an agency of the US Department of Homeland Security, which exercises authority over the security of travelers in the United States. The TSA was found to be drawing on expanded data and data sources about individual travelers before they traveled, in order for the TSA to conduct pre-crime assessments. This data could be shared with private companies, including debt-collection outfits. It could also be shared with foreign intelligence agencies. The article reported that some individuals were being targeted for extensive and repeated pre-flight screenings, apparently without reasonable suspicion or remedy.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  158. Handygate

German Chancellor Angela Merkel issued remarks on 24 October 2013 that were critical of the United States, after reports emerged that the United States had been targeting her communications for collection since 2002. US officials did not deny collecting on the Chancellor. They promised to turn off her phone tap but not the taps on those she might be calling, who could easily be identified from Merkel's telephone metadata. Official US intelligence policy at the time was that metadata collection and analysis did not constitute spying.

The German government's protests against US collection activities targeting Chancellor Merkel were met on Twitter with phrases recalling Germany's experience as a police state with the Gestapo during the Third Reich (1933 to 1945) and then with the Stasi during the German Democratic Republic in East Germany from 1949 to 1990. These sorts of phrases had also been used by government officials in the US and UK in 2013 to belittle objections to blanket warrantless surveillance.

If Angela Merkel has nothing to hide, she has nothing to fear.

23 October 2013 Stacy Herbert ‏@stacyherbert [^158.1] https://twitter.com/stacyherbert/status/393073287372099584 Twitter bio and stats on 24 October 2013: Keiser Report: Markets, Finance, Scandal! Location: On Air · maxkeiser.com - 36,877 tweets. 1,209 following. 29,752 followers.

The artist Bluma Berlin created a poster showing the Chancellor's hands holding a cellphone, framed by the words _YOU ARE FREE_ in a 1984-esque typeface. At the bottom of the poster appeared: "You have nothing to fear if you have nothing to hide."

YOU ARE FREE, MS MERKEL @williambanzai7 @stacyherbert pic.twitter.com/QGJK2Mi7G2

24 October 2013 Bluma Berlin ‏@blumaberlin ^158.2] [ https://twitter.com/blumaberlin/status/393279969322758144/photo/1 Points to:  https://twitter.com/blumaberlin/status/393279969322758144/photo/1/large Her Twitter bio: Visual Combat Artist | Financial War Recruit | Banzai7 Institute. blumaberlin.com - 2,527 tweets. 467 following. 598 followers.

An earlier version posted on 25 August 2013 shows a surveillance camera in the center of the illustration, instead of an image of Angela Merkel. The earlier work was also accompanied by the text "You are free" and "You have nothing to fear if you have nothing to hide." The earlier work appears in this tweet:

YOU ARE FREE pic.twitter.com/ZyT3LBLhGA

25 August 2013 Bluma Berlin @blumaberlin ^158.3] https://twitter.com/blumaberlin/status/371711386990018560 Points to: [ https://twitter.com/blumaberlin/status/414572299077947393/photo/1/large

Extension of the concept:

Only criminals apply security updates. You shouldn't have anything to hide.

25 February 2014 Matt Stancliff ‏@mattsta [^158.4] https://twitter.com/mattsta/status/438507336009662464 Bio and stats on 26 February 2014: A full time homosexual extremist and part time computational neuroscientist. Available for parties and corporate events. Location: New York, NY 11109 · matt.io - 7,410 tweets. 72 following. 322 followers.

Tweeted after Apple released updates to fix a vulnerability that had exposed its users to man-in-the-middle attacks.

Returning to Handygate:

Support in the United States for the NSA to collect intelligence in Germany could be seen as representing a practical _realpolitik_ approach to power relations, free of ideological and ethical posturing, as seen in the following exchange.

There are excellent reasons for the NSA to spy on Germany and the Germans.

Are there not, @ioerror?

28 October 2013 Louise Mensch ‏@LouiseMensch [^158.5] https://twitter.com/LouiseMensch/status/394935764485545984 Bio: in the comfy chairs. unfashionista.com - 48,449 tweets. 4,359 following. 79,747 followers. Louise Mensch was baiting (trolling) @ioerror, who was not involved in this online exchange and did not reply. This tweet received several replies in German. Louise Mensch responded in German.

Then:

Berlin is the centre of a cabal of Wikileaks hackers; Poitras distributes the Snowden files there; _Spiegel_ and _Bild_ have the files. Go #NSA

28 October 2013 Louise Mensch ‏@LouiseMensch [^158.6] https://twitter.com/LouiseMensch/status/394935975018627073 Bio: in the comfy chairs. unfashionista.com - 48,449 tweets. 4,359 following. 79,747 followers. Italics added above to distinguish the names of two German newspapers.

Reply:

@LouiseMensch So you mean that the tools against terrorism should be applied against German press and whistle blowers?

28 October 2013 Herr Müller ‏@DerHerrMueller [^158.7] https://twitter.com/DerHerrMueller/status/394940101161000960 Bio: European heart, German roots and British taxpayer. Location: Europe. 814 tweets. 122 following. 49 followers.

Response:

@DerHerrMueller you say whistleblower, I say spy.

28 October 2013 Louise Mensch ‏@LouiseMensch [^158.8] https://twitter.com/LouiseMensch/status/394940901329358849 Bio: in the comfy chairs. unfashionista.com - 48,449 tweets. 4,359 following. 79,747 followers.

Reply:

@LouiseMensch Methods advertised to be against terrorism are now used against the political opponent. It proves Snowden did the right thing.

28 October 2013 Herr Müller ‏@DerHerrMueller [^158.9] https://twitter.com/DerHerrMueller/status/394951214854459392 Bio: European heart, German roots and British taxpayer. Location: Europe. 814 tweets. 122 following. 49 followers.

"I'm not shocked that the US was tapping Angela Merkel's phone. I suspect she isn't, either," wrote David Blair in the British newspaper The Telegraph. David Blair's realpolitik views can be summarized as follows:

All big countries spy on each other, regardless of whether they are allies. The efforts of the United States to collect on the leaders of other countries reportedly result in little usable information. Why? Because everyone with an intelligence agency at their disposal already recognizes that such practices are occurring and therefore reserves their most confidential conversations for face-to-face meetings.

The United States and Germany are allies in many areas, but they compete in others. Business contracts, UN votes, appointments to international bodies, treaty issues and emerging international alliances can all stoke competitive pressures.

If Merkel had been offered access to President Obama's telephone conversations, would she have turned down such an opportunity? Chancellor Merkel appeared to be reacting personally to news that she may have been the target of collection efforts by the United States.

The three paragraphs above are paraphrased from: "I'm not shocked that the US was tapping Angela Merkel's phone. I suspect she isn't, either," by David Blair, The Telegraph, 27 October 2013, http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/davidblair/100243073/im-not-shocked-that-the-us-was-tapping-angela-merkels-phone-i-suspect-she-isnt-either/ The paraphrased material above is selective and does not constitute authoritative quotes.

David Blair @davidblairdt [^158.10] Twitter bio and stats on 27 October 2013: Chief foreign correspondent of The Daily Telegraph. Previously in Africa and the Middle East. All views my own. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/journalists/david-blair/ - 674 tweets. 457 following. 1,210 followers.

The Telegraph @Telegraph [^158.11] Twitter bio and stats on 27 October 2013: News, comment, Matt cartoons and more from The Daily and Sunday Telegraph. Tweets by @kate_day, @jamesmanning4, @martaruco and @neilmurphy85. Location: London, UK · telegraph.co.uk - 172,058 tweets. 216 following. 337,085 followers.

# **Merkel compared NSA to Stasi when they were caught bugging her calls.**

**But silent on police ban on demos during her trip to Athens** # **Greece**

11 April 2014 Teacher Dude ‏@teacherdude [^158.12] https://twitter.com/teacherdude/status/454566443435446272 Bio: A life spent in silence is no life at all. Location: Thessaloniki, Greece · teacherdudebbq.blogspot.com – 72,224 tweets. 1,097 following. 7,774 followers.

An hour earlier:

Today 6000 cops turn central Athens in replica of East Germany in honour of Merkel's visit #Greece

11 April 2014 Teacher Dude ‏@teacherdude [^158.13] https://twitter.com/teacherdude/status/454550191279198208 Bio: A life spent in silence is no life at all. Location: Thessaloniki, Greece · teacherdudebbq.blogspot.com – 72,224 tweets. 1,097 following. 7,774 followers.

Chancellor Merkel's response (or lack thereof) to news earlier in 2013 about the NSA's mass collection of emails and other data on German citizens prompted observers to label her anti-US remarks on 24 October 2013 as grandstanding and political theater designed to elicit greater cooperation and data sharing between US and German intelligence agencies. This would give the German government access to more surveillance data on its own citizens and on the citizens of other nations, thereby bolstering the surveillance society rather than limiting it.

"price America willl have to pay to settle the scandal may be to provide Germany with more [Five Eyes] intelligence" http://buff.ly/1ihQjU2

25 October 2013 Shashank Joshi ‏@shashj [^158.14] https://twitter.com/shashj/status/393683329016680448 The URL in the tweet points to:

"Europe and American spooks: Controlled anger," by Charlemagne, The Economist, @TheEconomist, 25 October 2013, http://www.economist.com/blogs/charlemagne/2013/10/europe-and-american-spooks \- Charlemagne appears to be a pen name for a writer at the Economist or for a mélange of writers there. The preview for this article, as it appeared within the Twitter UI on 25 October 2013, showed the author as The Economist @EconEurope. For simplicity and uniformity, this article is cited in TASD's bibliography as authored by The Economist @TheEconomist.

Shashank Joshi @shashj - Twitter bio and stats on 25 October 2013: PhD Candidate at Harvard University and Research Fellow of the Royal United Services Institute (RUSI). Usual caveats apply. Location: London · shashankjoshi.wordpress.com \- 44,903 tweets. 1,480 following. 6,211 followers.

The Economist @TheEconomist [^158.15] Twitter bio and stats on 25 October 2013: Official site for The Economist. Follow for article updates, events and news from The Economist. To subscribe go to: http://econ.st/ddIkQq - Location: London · economist.com - 22,976 tweets. 112 following. 4,004,448 followers.

Five Eyes is a collaborative alliance of English-speaking countries that emerged from World War II. The alliance allocates information-collection tasks between its members so that each member concentrates on pre-designated areas around the globe, thereby reducing duplicate efforts. Alliance members are pledged to not treat each other's countries and leaders as collection targets. Membership consists of the United States, the United Kingdom, Australia, Canada and New Zealand. A French nickname for the Five Eyes Alliance is les anglo-saxons.

How secure would surveillance data be if shared with Germany?

**Angela Merkel's handset was being tapped by at least five foreign intelligence agencies, including North Korea.** [link]

26 November 2013 https://twitter.com/aem76us/status/405324973243244544

Link points to:

"Angela Merkel's phone was being listened in on by FIVE foreign powers – If your spooks aren't tapping Merkel, you should fire them really," by John Leyden, The Register, 26th November 2013, http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/11/26/merkel_phone_tapped_by_5_countries/

John Leyden @jleyden [^158.16] Twitter profile on 27 November 2013: I write about cybercrime (malware, hacking etc.) and security research for The Register. Personal opinions, except clever stuff I re-tweet. Location: Salamanca, Spain · theregister.co.uk - 3,884 tweets. 337 following. 2,123 followers.

The Register @TheRegister [^158.17] Twitter profile on 27 November 2013: Biting the hand that feeds IT. Technology and science news for world+dog. Follow our journalists: http://reg.cx/28TD - theregister.co.uk - 46,877 tweets. 51 following. 24,778 followers.

**Even if the US stops tapping Merkel's phone, other countries will continue. The solution is encrypted phones for all.** [Link]

25 November 2013 Christopher Soghoian ‏@csoghoian [^158.18] https://twitter.com/csoghoian/status/405001601774936064 Twitter bio and stats on 27 November 2013: Principal Technologist and Senior Policy Analyst, Speech, Privacy and Technology Project, ACLU. (Views expressed here are my own.) Location: Washington, DC · dubfire.net - 9,795 tweets. 285 following. 27,002 followers. The link in the above tweet points to an article that was glossed from The Wall Street Journal:

"Merkel's phone tapped by at least 5 countries," by MarketWatch, MarketWatch, 24 November 2013, http://www.marketwatch.com/story/merkels-phone-tapped-by-at-least-5-countries-2013-11-24?mod=wsj_share_tweet - El Reg's article on the same topic, cited above, is more recent, contains more information, and was the only one of the two that contributed to the discussion here.

The solution is not simply encrypting voice transmissions. The solution includes encrypting email and other data transmissions, and strengthening infrastructure generally. This is the subject of the next section.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  159. Strengthening infrastructure

Since Chancellor Merkel's "high security" phones were so accessible to compromise, what could this indicate about the risks faced by electrical power generation and transmission systems, water supply and sewage utilities, air traffic control systems, and other infrastructure elements?

Michael Jackson ‏@overdrev tweeted:

Running systems that are critical to national infrastructure on an insecure, international public internet seems more silly every day.

20 March 2013 Michael Jackson ‏@overdrev [^159.1] https://twitter.com/overdrev/status/314291639390724096 His bio: Luxembourg · http://www.mangrove-vc.com - 3,310 tweets. 241 following. 2,119 followers.

Tweeted as South Korean banks and media companies were at a standstill, crippled by cyberattacks from North Korea.

On the subject of the communications and computing infrastructure being used for surveillance purposes, Matt Blaze tweeted:

NSA revelations demonstrate that modern infrastructure makes mass surveillance of ordinary people cheaper & easier than spying on targets.

27 October 2013 matt blaze ‏@mattblaze [^159.2] https://twitter.com/mattblaze/status/394531541402927104 Bio: Scientist, safecracker. 140 is the new 1536. crypto.com/blog/ \- 6,606 tweets. 309 following. 6,969 followers.

In Handygate, for example, the United States had reportedly not been able to collect on Chancellor Merkel's secure landline, only on her mobile devices.

Some of our infrastructure is deliberately surveillance-friendly, but mostly it just evolved that way because we didn't care enough.

27 October 2013 matt blaze ‏@mattblaze[^159.3] https://twitter.com/mattblaze/status/394534214135074816 Bio: Scientist, safecracker. 140 is the new 1536. crypto.com/blog/ - 6,606 tweets. 309 following. 6,969 followers.

In the long run, it's probably more productive to focus less on "NSA is evil" and more on "let's strengthen our infrastructure".

27 October 2013 matt blaze ‏@mattblaze [^159.4] https://twitter.com/mattblaze/status/394536518791872512 Bio: Scientist, safecracker. 140 is the new 1536. crypto.com/blog/ \- 6,606 tweets. 309 following. 6,969 followers.

Given a choice, I'd rather force NSA to do expensive TAO stuff to selected targets than let them weaken the infrastructure for all of us.

30 December 2013 matt blaze ‏@mattblaze [^159.5] https://twitter.com/mattblaze/status/417691665675997185 His bio and stats on 1 January 2014: Scientist, safecracker. 140 is the new 1536. crypto.com/blog/ - 7,997 tweets. 324 following. 8,005 followers.

TAO = Tailored Access Operations, an NSA unit that engages in computer network exploitation, i.e., hacking against discrete (i.e., defined, separate) targets. TAO's targets are known to have included Tor users simply because they were Tor users.

Mikko Hypponen went beyond Matt Blaze's emphasis on strengthening communication and computing infrastructure, in a TED talk that Hypponen delivered at TEDxBrussels on 28 October 2013, as paraphrased here:

George Orwell was an optimist. The reality of modern surveillance is much worse than what Orwell portrayed in his book _Nineteen Eighty-Four_.

Hypponen questioned the stated policy of the United States to only surveil foreigners, as 96% of the population of the planet are foreigners. "So it's blanket surveillance for everyone."

Hypponen accepts that some surveillance is appropriate when used to catch criminals, but the NSA's programs surveil people who are innocent.

The United States justifies terrorism as the reason they are tapping European leaders, the European Union Parliament, and the United Nations. Do we really think terrorism is such an existential threat that we must have such detailed surveillance?

People may say to Hypponen that if he has nothing to hide, then he as nothing to fear. Just because he has nothing to hide doesn't mean he wants to share, especially with foreign intelligence agencies. Accessing individuals' search histories is particularly troublesome to Hypponen, as we are more honest with our search engines than with our families.

What he is sending over the Internet is not the business of government, Hypponen said. Privacy should be non-negotiable and built into the systems we use. The US policy of adding backdoors to software programs and backdooring encryption algorithms makes everyone less secure.

Surveillance changes history. Imagine what Nixon could have done if he had access to the tools available today.

The US is treating the Internet as its colony. We should not merely be concerned about our loss of privacy, we should be angry, he said, raising his voice.

As a European, Hypponen recommends not using US information-technology products and systems. His solution is open source – building open free systems together — in and among the different nations of Europe. Then one country doesn't have to solve all the problems itself. He concluded by saying that such open source, secure systems will enable us [referring to Europeans] to rise above surveillance.

Mikko Hypponen has been paraphrased above. The paraphrased material is selective and does not constitute authoritative quotes. Nor does it capture all the points that Hypponen made in his TED talk.

Source: "Cyber Arms Race: Mikko Hypponen at TEDxBrussels," posted 1 November 2013. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHj7jgQpnBM TEDxBrussels was held on 28 October 2013.

Mikko Hypponen @mikko [^159.6] Twitter bio and stats on 2 November 2013: CRO at F-Secure,TED Speaker,Malware Adventurer. Location: Finland · mikko.hypponen.com - 20,045 tweets. 715 following. 56,209 followers.

TEDxBrussels @TEDxBrussels [^159.7] Twitter bio and stats on 2 November 2013: A non-profit event which brings world class speakers to Brussels to push the frontiers of our knowledge. 28 October 2013 in BOZAR. #TEDxBrussels. Brussels · tedxbrussels.eu/register - 2,534 tweets. 3,662 following. 6,590 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  160. Privacy in free society

If you've never done anything you wouldn't want the government to know about, you should reexamine your life choices.

4 November 2013 Eric Nelson ‏@literaryeric [^160.1] https://twitter.com/literaryeric/status/397492487960281088 Twitter bio and stats on 5 November 2013: Literary agent at Rabiner Literary (http://RabinerLit.com ). Former Executive Editor at Wiley. If you can fit a book pitch into 3 tweets, I'll try to respond. Location: NYC · howtothinklikeyouragent.tumblr.com - 19,033 tweets. 708 following. 2,221 followers.

Ideally, I'd like honesty and freedom, but forced to choose, I'd rather live in a corrupt free state than an honest police state.

19 January 2014 Ramesh Srivats ‏@rameshsrivats [^160.2] https://twitter.com/rameshsrivats/status/425122310832402432 Bio and stats on 22 January 2014: Armchair thinker, excessive drinker, occasional writer, wants to be lighter. Location: Bangalore, India · tententen.in – 15,538 tweets. 212 following. 158,325 followers.

Why would mass surveillance be practiced in the different countries mentioned here?

Most people hold subversive ideas in some form or another. Surveillance cannot be used to weed out everyone with subversive ideas, or societies would be plunged into crisis. Instead, surveillance can be used to create a climate of fear, which makes people easier to govern. Imagine the frustration of surveillance personnel observing people who know that they're under surveillance, but who are going about their lives normally, without fear.

The source of the ideas in the paragraph above is the activist Cody Lestelle, interviewed for this chapter in a Capitol Hill Seattle coffee shop late at night on 25 November 2014. In the interview he was asked about the impact of surveillance on his activism. He answered by saying that people shouldn't be afraid of surveillance, especially when it is overt. On 26 November 2014 he reviewed and approved the above paragraph as a paraphrase, and then provided the following quote:

The stated purpose of surveillance is to monitor broadly in order to catch individual criminal and subversive acts. Yet if everyone were to be acting out their subversive desires and intentions, no amount of surveillance could possibly be effective in stopping them. So fear of getting caught and self-policing seem to be the intention. A population who has overcome fear is immune to repression by surveillance, because fear will not stop them from destroying the entire apparatus.

Cody Lestelle @CodyLestelle ^160.19 and ^160.20 – numbered out of sequence] No Twitter bio on 26 November 2014, only these stats: 697 tweets. 211 following. 86 followers. His blog: [https://codylestelle.wordpress.com/

Do free societies, which are inherently self correcting, enjoy military and internal-security advantages over more closed societies? In answering that question, and with an eye on China and Russia, is Courtney Messerschmidt, who is at the opposite end of the political spectrum from Cody Lestelle above. Messerschmidt refers to herself here in the third person – as if being answered by Michael C. Horowitz, whose book _The Diffusion of Military Power_ she was reviewing:

"Courtney, free societies have, in general, a decided advantage when it comes to creativity and innovation, including in the military realm..."

"Being a free country seems to almost certainly make it more likely that countries embed the capacity in their militaries to innovate, Courtney. They don't have to worry about coup proofing and internal security issues as much and they are probably more likely to embrace creativity in general (even within the restrictive confines of a military). Thus, free inquiry may not be either necessary or sufficient for military innovation or the adoption of important military innovations, but it is probably really helpful."

Source: "Wonderbras & Flat Tops," by Courtney Messerschmidt, Line of Departure, 28 August 2011, http://www.lineofdeparture.com/2011/08/28/wonderbras-flat-tops/ On 20 February 2015 the article was no longer available at that URL and Line of Departure was found to have been taken down. The quotation marks above are reproduced as they appeared in the original. In the article, Messerschmidt reviewed The Diffusion of Military Power, by Michael C. Horowitz, Princeton University Press, 2010, http://www.michaelchorowitz.com/2010/06/the-diffusion-of-military-power/

Courtney Messerschmidt's bio that originally appeared at the conclusion of her article:

Courtney Messerschmidt is a student at the University of Georgia and the founder of the diplomatic, military and intelligence analysis blog Great Satan's Girlfriend. That's where she discusses overseas interventions, counterinsurgency theory, democracy promotion, international relations, terrorism, strategy and gender.

Twitter bio and stats on 30 October 2013 for courtneyme109 ‏@courtneyme109 [^186.93 – out of sequence here because it was added late] GrEaT sAtAnS gIrLfRiEnD Irreg warfare, Hyperpuissance, Interventions, COIN, armor doctrine, democracy promo, internat'l relations, terrorism, strategy. Location: Yee Haw, Hillbillyland · greatsatansgirlfriend.blogspot.com - 1,545 tweets. 229 following. 373 followers.

In her article, Courtney Messerschmidt examined Nazi Germany's reputation for technological and military innovation. She found that Germany's advances in military technology had largely occurred before the Nazis came to power, and before they enslaved, exiled or exterminated a huge swathe of scientists and intellectuals from across continental Europe. Messerschmidt points to the example of the blitzkrieg method of maneuver warfare, which was already "on the shelf" and available for use by the German military in 1927, well before the Nazis took power on 30 January 1933.

The deterioration of open society in Australia is described by Murray Hunter in his article: "How Australia Is Spying On Its Own – Analysis," _Eurasia Review_ , 11 November 2013. Here are two extended quotes from Hunter, separated by an ellipsis:

Up until the 1980′s most intelligence gathering was targeted monitoring of specific groups where 'persons of interest' were identified for intensive surveillance. ASIO [ _Australian Security Intelligence Organization_ ] and state special branches were videotaping activists primarily from the 'left'. Trade unionists, human rights activists, ethnic community groups, religious leaders, and even governors were targets. Surveillance was undertaken by ASIO and state special branches, where operatives used electronic means for eavesdropping, keeping index cards and files on 'persons of interest', recording mainly hearsay information. Government databases were agency based and most often localized with little or no connection to larger databases. Cross referencing people on these various databases was extremely time consuming and very difficult.

Even then, red flags emerged as academic Peter Grabosky from the Australian Bureau of Criminology pointed out that 'thought and discussion of public issues may be suppressed......and....excess use of (surveillance) may inhibit democratic and political freedom more subtly'. In addition, there was evidence that malicious accusations made from erroneous records produce false information which made innocent people suffer at the hands of the security agencies where these records are not assessable to be corrected for errors. The Mohamed Haneef arrest by the AFP [Australian Federal Police] in July 2007 where it was alleged he was connected with a terrorist cell in the UK, but later exonerated, hints at the security services being very territorial and 'out of control', where ASIO knew of Dr. Haneef's innocence but didn't advise the APF.

Bureaucrats were the ones defining who were the enemies of the state. There was a general inability to discriminate between healthy dissent in a political democracy and subversion. Where no tangible threats existed to national security, lesser ones were perceived to be grave threats or even invented. There seems to be an impulse by those within the security services to justify their existence and perpetuate what they are doing. What-more, they didn't see themselves responsible to the elected government of the day, but rather The Crown. This encouraged an attitude that they were not accountable for their actions to the executive of the day.

The rise of surveillance should not be understood as purely a technological development. It should be seen as a broader economic, social, and political paradigm shift within society where the balance of power has shifted away from the people and towards the state. There also appears to be a shift of power away from executive government towards an unelected bureaucracy. What makes this even more perplexing is that we don't even know who these people really are.

There is no transparency, no review, nor any accountability.

We find out that that intelligence data is passed on to assist private corporations like the mining giant BHP. Moreover, the human rights website WEBMOBILIZE alleges in a recent article that the Australian security apparatus is being used to steal intellectual property from companies and passing it over illegally to its competitors. Some of the organizations that have been alleged to receive unlawfully gained IP include the University of Melbourne, Ageis Media, Telstra, Sensis, Deakin University, Belgravia Health and Business Group, Channel Nine, Nine Entertainment, Nine MSN, Corporate health management, Fairfax media, the Herald Sun, The Guardian, Nintendo, and the Australian labor party and Liberal national party. This interlinked relationship between private corporations and the intelligence agencies is allowing some corporations to benefit over others illegally, subsidized by taxpayer dollars.

There has been little in the way of public debate, nor much concern shown by the major political parties. The issues raised by surveillance, now on the Orwellian scale in Australia, are concerning as they are operating at a much higher magnitude than any other liberal democracy.

The powers to detain anyone under section 34D of the Australian Security Intelligence Organization Act 1979 for up to seven days without the right to reveal their detention, resembles the mechanisms of a police state.

The Australian Government collects more information on its citizens than the East German Stasi did on its citizens during the cold war...

The growth of domestic intelligence gathering we see today is almost irreversible[,] which hints at some form of "Animal Farm" leadership who is defining what our "truths" are. An important question here is who is actually doing this [if] it is not our elected politicians? This can [rarely] be satisfactorily answered based on any public domain knowledge. We can only make guesses. However one undeniable fact is that there is presently a hidden and totally unaccountable part of government that is changing the nature of society. It is here where no media organizations are asking any questions. Until this is answered we are living in an illusion about what our society really is.

We have entered into a new period of governance as significant as the French revolution, or the Magna Carta, and beginning of the Westminster system. We are now in an age of governance through surveillance of the masses by a few unknown elite and unaccountable people. Communist totalitarianism may have collapsed in Europe in 1991 with the fall of the Soviet Union, but the "free world's" version of surveillance and intelligence would have make Stalin, Honecker, and Ceauşescu very jealous.

The lack of transparency is becoming indefensible. Without scrutiny the Australian security apparatus is the loose cannon of the Bureaucracy which will cause many reverberations like the destruction of peoples' livelihoods through IP theft, or the ruining of peoples' reputations through persecution.

Source: "How Australia Is Spying On Its Own – Analysis," by Murray Hunter, Eurasia Review, 11 November 2013, http://www.eurasiareview.com/11112013-australia-spying-analysis/ herald Sun has been changed to Herald Sun above, and a really to rarely, along with other minor corrections for clarity as indicated by [brackets].

Murray Hunter [^160.3 and ^160.4] no Twitter ID identified on 11 November 2013.

Eurasia Review @EurasiaReview [^160.5 and ^160.6] Twitter bio and stats on 11 November 2013: Eurasia Review publishes news and analysis on events primarily affecting Eurasia and Afro-Eurasia. Location: Everywhere · eurasiareview.com - 73,931 tweets. 418 following. 2,144 followers.

The Guardian's Henry Porter and Wolfgang Blau on the significance of surveillance in society:

Privacy is the defining quality of a free people.

Quote from: "GCHQ revelations: mastery of the internet will mean mastery of everyone," by Henry Porter, The Guardian, 21 June 2013. http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/jun/21/gchq-mastery-internet-mastery-everyone

Twitter screen name, ID, and stats on 22 June 2013: henry porter @HenryCPorter [^160.7] 100 tweets. 23 following. 87 followers. No bio.

Twitter bio and stats on 22 June 2013 for: The Guardian @guardian [^160.8] Top stories, special features, live blogs and more from http://guardian.co.uk – Location: London · guardian.co.uk - 31,003 tweets. 1,067 following. 1,116,261 followers.

Without privacy, we are unfree.

When you know that everything you will ever ask is being analyzed for patterns, it will first reduce what you ask and then what you think.

7 June 2013 Wolfgang Blau ‏@wblau [^160.9] https://twitter.com/wblau/status/342905884088864770 Twitter bio and stats on 24 June 2013: Director of Digital Strategy, The Guardian / Contact: wolfgang.blau(at)http://guardian.co.uk / Public PGP Key: http://bit.ly/15xKoFi - Location: London, UK · facebook.com/wolfgang.blau - 3,595 tweets. 1,070 following. 18,308 followers.

Wolfgang Blau's observation above was made during public disclosures about NSA's pattern analysis of voice (telephone calls and VoIP calls) and Internet activities.

Wolfgang Blau's observation above is also applicable to users of search engines, when users are offered suggested-search-terms as auto-complete options after typing just one or two letters of a search query. Suggested-search-terms can be a time saver, but they can also narrow the range of search topics and the range of thought, said Aubrey Birdwell. As search engines learn more about each person's browsing habits and behavior generally, this thought-narrowing can increase.

Birdwell, who is largely self-educated, cites the declared intentions of some search providers to more fully anticipate what an individual wants to do next in real life – beyond mere search queries. Such foreknowledge will enable commercial enterprises to take active roles in guiding people's actions, thoughts and lives, thereby restricting serendipity, exploration and free will, Birdwell said. In conversation, he then described the steps he was taking to minimize his online footprint.

Source: Aubrey Birdwell, personal conversation on 26 June 2013, Capitol Hill, Seattle.

OH GOD THE NSA IS SPYING ON US

*checks into foursquare, posts selfie, tags grandmother on facebook*

#drunkloria

25 June 2013 aloria ‏@aloria [^160.10] https://twitter.com/aloria/status/349670233759432704 Bio: Disaster tourist, .gif peddler, and semi-professional hedgehog herder. Application security team lead and http://i.imgur.com/z8eZn.gif - Location: Flavor Country · glassmelter.com - 10,814 tweets. 271 following. 4,828 followers. Her bio and stats on 5 June 2014: Bragging about being a woman in infosec is like bragging about being a man in nursing. Appsec VP by day, adjunct professor and @sec_reactions by night. Location: Brooklyn, NY | Flavor Country. jukt-micronics.com. 12,890 tweets. 261 following. 7,689 followers.

Best of the week: Twitter boosts its privacy cred with its absence from the NSA's surveillance program

http://qz.com/91889

9 June 2013 Quartz ‏@qz [^160.11 and ^160.12 for article below] https://twitter.com/qz/status/343683897357381632 \- Bio: Quartz is a new kind of global business news outlet. Location: The World · qz.com - 7,224 tweets. 51 following. 35,731 followers.

The link in the above tweet points to: "Twitter boosts its privacy cred with its absence from the NSA's surveillance program," by Zachary M. Seward, @zseward, Quartz, @qz, 6 June 2013, http://qz.com/91889/twitter-boosts-its-privacy-cred-with-its-absence-from-the-nsas-surveillance-program/

Zach Seward @zseward [^160.13] Twitter bio and stats on 10 December 2013: Senior editor of Quartz | @qz | z@qz.com – Location: New York, NY · zachseward.com/about/ - 11,987 tweets. 1,430 following. 17,181 followers.

cred = credibility.

• • • • •

Tedious project for 2015: get myself off Google services for all private and personal use, to restore my sovereign digital identity.

17 April 2014 Martin Geddes ‏@martingeddes [^160.14] https://twitter.com/martingeddes/status/456757573656399872 Bio: Telecoms strategy consultant with special interests in network performance science, ultracomputing, polyservice networks, hypervoice technology and neologisms. Location: London. martingeddes.com. 15,112 tweets. 2,246 following. 3,192 followers.

Martin Geddes posted the above tweet after Google revised its terms of service to clarify that it was machine reading (scanning) the emails of Gmail users and any emails sent to Gmail accounts from non-Gmail users. Does the company have the right to read and save the contents of emails from non-Gmail users who have not consented to scanning?

Google's behavior-tracking activities helped generate about 94% of its revenues at the time, through the sale of advertisements and access to data, much of which is resold (to other behavior-tracking companies) and merged with additional data to create individual personal profiles that can contain sensitive and potentially ruinous information, such as health and health-risk data and other private facts. To be effective, behavior tracking needs large amounts of data, which users of Google and Facebook provide.

Private companies can collect data that the NSA cannot, while the NSA and other nations' intelligence agencies collect data that private companies cannot. With behavior-tracking companies providing intelligence agencies and other behavior-tracking companies with access to individuals' data (willingly, in many cases, as Edward Snowden revealed), it can make sense from a risk-reduction and personal-privacy standpoint to minimize the amount of data shared with the market leaders in behavior tracking, such as Google and Facebook. Smaller companies — such as small ISPs and those providing services such as email, calendaring, online-backup or synchronization — may still be forced to hand over data to spy agencies, but since their data silos are smaller and the number of such companies is large, not all such companies may be tapped or otherwise obliged to provide data.

The two paragraphs above, and the remainder of the section below, are largely paraphrased from remarks made by Elijah of the Riseup Collective in a presentation given at @BlackCoffeeCoop in Seattle on 19 May 2014.

The paraphrased material above does not represent authoritative quotes and has been supplemented with additional examples of services and the words "health-risk data and other private facts."

Below is a preview Elijah's presentation as found on 20 May 2014 on https://wiki.openitp.org/events:techno-activism_3rd_mondays:seattle

Elijah on Riseup Collective

In the wake of the 1999 WTO protests in Seattle, riseup.net was formed to provide activists with a room of their own online. Since then, Riseup has grown to offer many services for hundreds of thousands of activists worldwide. One of the founding members of Riseup Collective will discuss the history, theory, and practice of riseup.net, in the context of tech activism and the anti-globalization movement of the early 2000s. Depending on what people want to talk about, topics may include Indymedia, the "autonomous server" movement, data retention, Free Software, gag orders, and the [rise] of surveillance as a response to the contradictions of information capitalism.

Data retention requirements on ISPs in Germany to track users' online activities had recently been struck down by that country's supreme court, Elijah said, in recognition of Germany's history as a police state. Many countries in Europe continue to require such data to be collected and stored, under the pretext of using it to suppress child pornography. Two years is a common storage period. The United States does not have such data retention requirements, but Elijah said that he expected there to be a push for such requirements in the future.

In the aftermath of the WTO protests in Seattle in 1999, it seemed as if police had been shipped in from around the country to suppress any additional protests, Elijah said. He recalled going to a protest at Microsoft two months after the WTO protests. There were about 50 protesters flanked by 200 police, with a police helicopter hovering overhead. Intimidation by the authorities helped push activism into other realms, such as independent media, where it was recognized that consumers of news could also be news producers.

At first, it appeared that technology activists, such as Elijah, would be supporting non-techie activists working on other issues. Then it became evident that technology itself would become an arena for struggle. The technology activists knew right away that security and privacy would be important issues.

In the immediate aftermath of the WTO protests, free speech on the Internet was not easy. Especially for non-techies, it was difficult to host your own website and to link up with other people online who were sharing news about subjects that mainstream media was not covering, or was covering in a distorted manner. The independent-media project that Elijah worked on provided tools for people to publish online at a time when mainstream media was neglecting the Internet. There was a period where the project's news website received more visitor traffic than CNN.

Self-publishing platforms and other communication tools developed for non-techies in the independent-media movement were subsequently recreated by commercial companies in the social-media space, Elijah said. Some commercial enterprises sought to buy these indie-built tools and platforms to commercialize them, including the commercial enterprise behind _Blogger_. The blogging and messaging tools that activists were offering non-commercially had codebases that were not easy to maintain, given the dispersed, non-hierarchical nature of the independent-media movement, which could not sufficiently incentivize people to continue to maintain these codebases. Around 2004 and 2005, said Elijah, self-publishing and other communication tools offered by commercial enterprises began to supersede their independent-media predecessors in quality and popularity.

One of the tools from the post-WTO era in independent media was TXTMob, which enabled micro-messaging from the Internet to mobile phones, via SMS bridging.

As of 2015, TXTMob developer Tad Hirsch continued to offer TXTMob free through SourceForge. Hirsch was teaching at the University of Washington in Seattle at the time.

TXTMob was used to organize flash-mob protests at the Republican National Convention in New York City in 2004. When Odeo was floundering, the company held a demonstration day to look for other projects or ideas to work on. The TXTMob micro-messaging demo caught the attention of people at Odeo and helped inspire Twitter. When it was released on 21 March 2006, Twitter was entirely web-based, with the SMS bridge added later.

Elijah [^160.15] no Twitter ID found on 20 May 2014. His remarks are paraphrased above and do not represent authoritative quotes.

riseup.net @riseupnet [^160.16] Twitter bio and stats on 20 May 2014: riseup.net - 55 tweets. 33 following. 1,176 followers. Summary of Riseup.net as it appeared at the top of their landing page on 20 May 2014: Riseup provides online communication tools for people and groups working on liberatory social change. We are a project to create democratic alternatives and practice self-determination by controlling our own secure means of communications.

The event where Elijah spoke was organized in part by Seattle Privacy @SeattlePrivacy [^160.17] Twitter bio and stats on 20 May 2014: Individual privacy; Institutional transparency. Privacy by law and by tools. Location: Everywhere. seattleprivacy.org - 2,256 tweets. 1,179 following. 667 followers.

The event was hosted by Black Coffee @BlackCoffeeCoop [^160.18] Twitter bio and stats on 20 May 2014: Black Coffee is a workers' co-op, café, community space & infoshop in the Capitol Hill neighborhood of Seattle. Seattle · blackcoffeecoop.com – 574 tweets. 359 following. 483 followers. Black Coffee's Capitol Hill shop closed on 24 October 2014.

Citations ^160.19 and ^160.20 were added late and appear out of sequence in the section above.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  161. Censorship versus surveillance?

Censorship and surveillance are related but not identical. Examining them together deepens our understanding of both. The relationship between the two was the subject of a panel discussion at the 4th Arab Bloggers Meeting in Amman, Jordan on 23 January 2014. The following tweets are from participants at the event, which was not live-streamed. Since 2012, the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan, where the event took place, had been requiring news and current-affairs websites in the kingdom to be licensed, and to submit to other controls, thereby restricting the free exchange of views and opinions.

The event and its participants are described in this one tweet and the raft of small print that follows:

Censorship and surveillance panel at 11:15 with me, @wsaqaf, @gharbeia, and @ellerybiddle. http://ab14.globalvoicesonline.org/public-day-agenda... It's gonna be great. #ab14

23 January 2014 Morgan Mayhem ‏@headhntr [^161.1] https://twitter.com/headhntr/status/426270829995778048 Bio: Security Engineer. Privacy and Human Rights Advocate. Researcher. || https://citizenlab.org/author/mmboire/ || Where there's fire, I bring gasoline... Location: San Francisco, USA. 12,343 tweets. 990 following. 4,960 followers.

Wsaqaf @wsaqaf [^161.2] Twitter bio and stats on 23 January 2014: Journalist, activist, researcher, and 'geek'. Founded http://yemenportal.net , http://alkasir.com and working to keep the Internet free from censorship. Location: Orebro, Sweden. 381 tweets. 59 following. 2,035 followers.

Amr Gharbeia @gharbeia [^161.3] Twitter bio and stats on 23 January 2014: تاجر مواشي Location: Cairo, Egypt · gharbeia.net - 12,952 tweets. 388 following. 71,672 followers.

Ellery Biddle @ellerybiddle [^161.4] Twitter bio and stats on 23 January 2014: @Advox editor. Endlessly interested in tech and culture in Latin America. Views are my own. Location: San Francisco · ellerybiddle.com - 622 tweets. 248 following. 706 followers.

The hashtag #ab14 refers to the year 2014 and to the "4th Arab Bloggers Meeting - Exploring the transitional role of online actors in a rapidly changing MENA region," a Heinrich Böll Foundation-Global Voices joint event, 20-23 January, 2014 • Amman, Jordan.

Description of the event as it appeared on 23 January 2014 on: http://ab14.globalvoicesonline.org/english

The Heinrich Böll-Global Voices Arab Bloggers Meetings have over the past six years (Beirut 2008 & 2009, Tunis 2011) brought together influential voices from across the region, playing an important role in helping digital activists build a network of solidarity with each other prior to the Arab uprisings. This network helped has helped us all to share activist strategies and tactics, learn from each other, and work together.

We believe there's a need, today more than ever, for a meeting of this kind. While there have been other meetings on digital security and training in the past three years, they have been often driven by external agendas, focused on narrow themes, meant for a specific group of activists or targeting sub-regional publics. The Arab Bloggers Conferences have distinguished themselves by being spaces created primarily by local activists and for local activists and using a participatory model of peer learning.

We want the meeting to be a place for MENA activists to share ideas about what's working and not working in changed political environments, to come up with new, joint projects, to invigorate their efforts with new ideas, and to meet and learn together with the next generation of digital activists. [End of description of the event.]

Twitter bios of the two sponsoring organizations:

HeinrichBöllStiftung @boell_stiftung [^161.5] Twitter bio and stats on 23 January 2014: Agentur für grüne Ideen und Projekte, reformpolitische Zukunftswerkstatt und internationales Netzwerk mit über hundert Partnerprojekten in rund sechzig Ländern. Location: Germany, Berlin · boell.de - 3,314 tweets. 424 following. 14,291 followers.

Heinrich Böll FDN US @boell_us – Twitter bio on 23 January 2014: The Heinrich Böll Foundation is a non-profit organization affiliated with the German Green Party and promotes sustainability, a green economy and human rights. Location: Washington, DC · boell.org - 609 tweets. 442 following. 569 followers.

Global Voices @globalvoices [^161.6] Twitter bio and stats on 23 January 2014: Calling attention to the most interesting stories emerging from citizen media around the world. Tweets: @asteris @kevin_rennie @SaharHGhazi @spainrevolt – Location: Global · globalvoicesonline.org - 44,212 tweets. 1,370 following. 66,073 followers.

# **censorship will always matter because we always seek information to make sense of our surroundings**

#AB14

23 January 2014 Samar Ahmad ‏@Samarsaeed [^161.7] https://twitter.com/Samarsaeed/status/426285229620600832 Bio: Research Associate @Columbia Global Center| Middle East (Amman). instagram: samarahmad86 · samartravels.wordpress.com – 850 tweets. 203 following. 179 followers.

" **Censorship is a 2nd-order effect of surveillance** "

-@ioerror. There, #ab14 conundrum sorted #edcon

25 January 2014 Asteris Masouras عار ‏@asteris [^161.8] https://twitter.com/asteris/status/427019367214481408 Bio: Freelance journalist, human rights advocate, @globalvoices editor, global news filter, film/gaming/scifi geek. Social justice for all. Stay human. Location: Thessaloniki · about.me/asteris - 325,270 tweets. 903 following. 13,500 followers.

Jacob Appelbaum @ioerror [^161.9] Bio: Ethics enthusiast && الحب و الحياة في وقت قصير && cast iron club. Location: The Village; Be Seeing You! · appelbaum.net - 54,070 tweets. 2,036 following. 67,541 following. Jacob Appelbaum was in Berlin at the time.

# **Censorship is cheap to impose and to fight;** # **surveillance involves a whole state apparatus** ($$$$)

\- @headhntr #ab14

23 January 2014 Alice Su ‏@aliceysu [^161.10] https://twitter.com/aliceysu/status/426286299096420352 Bio: Journalist based in Amman. Focus on refugees, religion, China and Middle East. Tweets not endorsement. Location: Amman, Jordan · aliceysu.tumblr.com - 2,636 tweets. 615 following. 437 followers.

Alice Su quotes Morgan Mayhem ‏@headhntr [^161.11] Twitter bio: Security Engineer. Privacy and Human Rights Advocate. Researcher. || https://citizenlab.org/author/mmboire/ || Where there's fire, I bring gasoline... Location: San Francisco, USA. 12,343 tweets. 990 following. 4,960 followers.

From a technology perspective, it's much harder to fight surveillance than censorship.

#AB14

23 January 2014 Samar Ahmad ‏@Samarsaeed [^161.12] https://twitter.com/Samarsaeed/status/426289931427020800 Bio: Research Associate @Columbia Global Center| Middle East (Amman). instagram: samarahmad86 · samartravels.wordpress.com – 850 tweets. 203 following. 179 followers.

" **the censorship problem is not a particularly interesting one to the security engineering community** "

@headhntr #ab14

23 January 2014 Tactical Tech ‏@Info_Activism [^161.13] https://twitter.com/Info_Activism/status/426289538311258112 Bio: Tactical Tech, an NGO working with advocates & activists to use information, communications & digital technologies to maximise the impact of their advocacy work. tacticaltech.org. 7,807 tweets. 725 following. 12,158 followers.

The above quote is from Morgan Mayhem ‏@headhntr [^161.14] Twitter bio: Security Engineer. Privacy and Human Rights Advocate. Researcher. || https://citizenlab.org/author/mmboire/ || Where there's fire, I bring gasoline... Location: San Francisco, USA. 12,343 tweets. 990 following. 4,960 followers.

Morgan from Citizen Lab says censorship is not particularly interesting for engineers because it's ineffective & easy to bypass today

#ab14

23 January 2014 Lina Ejeilat @Lina18 [^161.15] https://twitter.com/Lina18/status/426289760748183552 Bio: Multimedia journalist & instructor. Co-founder & editor-in-chief of @7iber. @columbiajourn alum. Views are my own & RTs not endorsements. lina@7iber.com – Location: Amman, Jordan · 7iber.com - 7,620 tweets. 971 following. 17,463 followers. The username @Lina18 contains the number eighteen.

@gharbeia re-phrasing @headhntr "what morgan means is that #tor is cool and censorship is boring"

#ab14

23 January 2014 Tactical Tech ‏@Info_Activism [^161.16] https://twitter.com/Info_Activism/status/426289803450015746 Bio: Tactical Tech, an NGO working with advocates & activists to use information, communications & digital technologies to maximise the impact of their advocacy work. tacticaltech.org. 7,807 tweets. 725 following. 12,158 followers.

Amr Gharbeia @gharbeia [^161.17] Twitter bio and stats on 23 January 2014: تاجر مواشي Location: Cairo, Egypt · gharbeia.net - 12,952 tweets. 388 following. 71,672 followers.

Censorship is easy for engineers to bypass because they have the tools and know-how to do so, but for most citizens it is not. For example, it was estimated at that time that 8% of Internet users in mainland China could circumvent that country's censorship systems, leaving 92% of Internet users in the dark. As seen for Tor users, attempts to circumvent censorship can mark someone as a possible target for surveillance and targeted-access operations.

' **The fact that censorship is circumventable doesn't mean we want it to happen. It's indicative of authoritarian mindset** '

@ellerybiddle #ab14

23 January 2014 katherine maher ‏@krmaher [^161.18] https://twitter.com/krmaher/status/426289980269662208 Bio: technology. policy. the middle east. all views my own. Location: international waters · katherinemaher.com - 17,454 tweets. 1,305 following. 8,387 followers.

Ellery Biddle @ellerybiddle [^161.19] Twitter bio and stats on 23 January 2014: @Advox editor. Endlessly interested in tech and culture in Latin America. Views are my own. Location: San Francisco · ellerybiddle.com - 622 tweets. 248 following. 706 followers.

**Surprised we separate** # **censorship from** # **surveillance. They r NOT to be distinguished in a reductive binary way but considered together**

#ab14

23 January 2014 R ‏@MaliciaRogue [^161.20] https://twitter.com/MaliciaRogue/status/426289532766810112 Bio: Science geek,Debian fan.Interest in gender in STEM.Anti-biopatents,pro-privacy.MENA & East. Eur analyst | #OpenData #OpenScience #ICT4Dev #FreeSpeech #OKFN حرية Location: Here and there · me.hatewasabi.info/index.html - 28, 509 tweets. 2,130 following. 2,215 followers.

**Both** # **censorship and** # **surveillance MATTER.**

Privacy and the right to free speech are two sides of the same coin.

#ab14

23 January 2014 Afef Abrougui ‏@Afaf_TN [^161.21] https://twitter.com/Afaf_TN/status/426288543108177920 Bio: I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious :) #journalism #IG #netfreedom #photography #freespeech #environment #education #MEA – Location: Tunis · https://secure.flickr.com/photos/afef_abrougui/ - 8,355 tweets. 1,416 following. 1,942 followers.

" **The true power of surveillance makes you think twice about what you type** ,"

says @headhntr @ #ab14 @globalvoices

23 January 2014 Habib Battah ‏@habib_b [^161.22] https://twitter.com/habib_b/status/426288512304812032 Bio: Award-winning investigative journalist - filmmaker - media critic. Contributing to BBC, AJE, Variety, Bold Magazine and others. Habib (dot) Battah @ Gmail. Location: Beirut · beirutreport.com. 7,087 tweets. 786 following. 2,473 followers.

The above quote is from: Morgan Mayhem ‏@headhntr [^161.23] Twitter bio: Security Engineer. Privacy and Human Rights Advocate. Researcher. || https://citizenlab.org/author/mmboire/ || Where there's fire, I bring gasoline... Location: San Francisco, USA. 12,343 tweets. 990 following. 4,960 followers.

# **Censorship vs** # **surveillance is a false dichotomy.**

Surveillance leads to self-censorship.

Both inhibit freedom of speech.

#ab14

23 January 2014 Alice Su ‏@aliceysu [^161.24] https://twitter.com/aliceysu/status/426291585282609152 Bio: Journalist based in Amman. Focus on refugees, religion, China and Middle East. Tweets not endorsement. Location: Amman, Jordan · aliceysu.tumblr.com - 2,636 tweets. 615 following. 437 followers.

**You take your ability to complain about** # **surveillance for granted.**

# **Censorship removes your right to even talk about these issues.**

#ab14

23 January 2014 Alice Su ‏@aliceysu [^161.25] https://twitter.com/aliceysu/status/426288238471311360 Bio: Journalist based in Amman. Focus on refugees, religion, China and Middle East. Tweets not endorsement. Location: Amman, Jordan · aliceysu.tumblr.com - 2,636 tweets. 615 following. 437 followers.

**In a prison cell I have all the** # **privacy I need,**

but I cannot reach the world to say what I want.

@wsaqaf on #censorship #ab14

23 January 2014 Alice Su ‏@aliceysu [^161.26] https://twitter.com/aliceysu/status/426289013930983424 Bio: Journalist based in Amman. Focus on refugees, religion, China and Middle East. Tweets not endorsement. Location: Amman, Jordan · aliceysu.tumblr.com - 2,636 tweets. 615 following. 437 followers.

Wsaqaf @wsaqaf [^161.27] Bio: Journalist, activist, researcher, and 'geek'. Founded http://yemenportal.net , http://alkasir.com and working to keep the Internet free from censorship. Location: Orebro, Sweden. 381 tweets. 59 following. 2,035 followers.

**Both** # **censorship and** # **surveillance are means to control and conform.**

We must fight both

#ab14

23 January 2014 Samar Ahmad ‏@Samarsaeed [^161.28] https://twitter.com/Samarsaeed/status/426287181054083072 Bio: Research Associate @Columbia Global Center| Middle East (Amman). instagram: samarahmad86 · samartravels.wordpress.com – 850 tweets. 203 following. 179 followers.

' **Government censorship depends on citizen acquiescence. The unspoken truth is many societies tacitly agree.** '

#ab14

23 January 2014 katherine maher ‏@krmaher [^161.29] https://twitter.com/krmaher/status/426291315073359872 Bio: technology. policy. the middle east. all views my own. Location: international waters · katherinemaher.com - 17,454 tweets. 1,305 following. 8,387 followers.

Interpreters made faces as they translated an #AB14 panel, they're not used to this level of frank talk?

23 January 2014 weddady ‏@weddady [^161.30] https://twitter.com/weddady/status/426331076228026368 Bio: Mauritanian-American activist, focused on civil rights in the Mideast and North Africa. Opinions expressed here are mine and only mine. Location: Boston, MA · dekhnstan.wordpress.com – 70,775 tweets. 1,275 following. 30,919 followers.

@jilliancyork they literally cringed when words like "shit" & "pornography" came up.

23 January 2014 weddady ‏@weddady [^161.31] https://twitter.com/weddady/status/426338414875918336 Bio: Mauritanian-American activist, focused on civil rights in the Mideast and North Africa. Opinions expressed here are mine and only mine. Location: Boston, MA · dekhnstan.wordpress.com – 70,775 tweets. 1,275 following. 30,919 followers.

During the Arab Spring, some bloggers in Tunisia wrote about important local events in French, making it difficult for Tunisians who only read Arabic to understand what was going on. Did writing in French encourage more frankness than writing in Arabic?

" **In Cairo it's not only internet that is censored but people also- their existence is censored** "

#AB14

23 January 2014 Samar Ahmad ‏@Samarsaeed [^161.32] https://twitter.com/Samarsaeed/status/426283677463904256 Bio: Research Associate @Columbia Global Center| Middle East (Amman). instagram: samarahmad86 · samartravels.wordpress.com – 850 tweets. 203 following. 179 followers.

' **Surveillance is far more problematic from a non-technical perspective. It's about a mentality of state omniescene** '

@headhntr #ab14

23 January 2014 katherine maher ‏@krmaher [^161.33] https://twitter.com/krmaher/status/426290455413006337 Bio: technology. policy. the middle east. all views my own. Location: international waters · katherinemaher.com - 17,454 tweets. 1,305 following. 8,387 followers.

Quote above is from: Morgan Mayhem ‏@headhntr [^161.34] Twitter bio: Security Engineer. Privacy and Human Rights Advocate. Researcher. || https://citizenlab.org/author/mmboire/ || Where there's fire, I bring gasoline... Location: San Francisco, USA. 12,343 tweets. 990 following. 4,960 followers.

Omniescene above should be **omniscience**. Omniscience means all-seeing and all-knowing. The term is often used in religious contexts, as is **omnipotent** , which means all-powerful.

Thinking of surveillance is scary- reminds me of Foucault theories on power, control, and intimidation

#ab14

23 January 2014 Samar Ahmad ‏@Samarsaeed [^161.35] https://twitter.com/Samarsaeed/status/426288860411465728 Bio: Research Associate @Columbia Global Center| Middle East (Amman). instagram: samarahmad86 · samartravels.wordpress.com – 850 tweets. 203 following. 179 followers.

One advice for bloggers " don't waste your time and energy with trolls" #AB14

23 January 2014 Samar Ahmad ‏@Samarsaeed [^161.36] https://twitter.com/Samarsaeed/status/426269977516048384 Bio: Research Associate @Columbia Global Center| Middle East (Amman). instagram: samarahmad86 · samartravels.wordpress.com – 850 tweets. 203 following. 179 followers.

' **Compromising [people's] devices is the new walking into their bedrooms** '

\-- @headhntr #AB14

23 January 2014 Amr Gharbeia @gharbeia [^161.37] https://twitter.com/gharbeia/status/426285032949288960 Bio: تاجر مواشي Location: Cairo, Egypt · gharbeia.net - 12,952 tweets. 388 following. 71,672 followers.

The above quote is from Morgan Mayhem ‏@headhntr [^161.38] Twitter bio: Security Engineer. Privacy and Human Rights Advocate. Researcher. || https://citizenlab.org/author/mmboire/ || Where there's fire, I bring gasoline... Location: San Francisco, USA. 12,343 tweets. 990 following. 4,960 followers.

**After Snowden we know what the US government has been up to but we are unclear on what other governments are doing.** الله يستر. #AB14

23 January 2014 Samar Ahmad ‏@Samarsaeed [^161.39] https://twitter.com/Samarsaeed/status/426293184529190912 Bio: Research Associate @Columbia Global Center| Middle East (Amman). instagram: samarahmad86 · samartravels.wordpress.com – 850 tweets. 203 following. 179 followers. Whistleblowers are needed in other countries.

**Guys, why not discussing complete lack of regulation for Western companies selling** # **surveillance software to dictators?**

#ab14

23 January 2014 R ‏@MaliciaRogue [^161.40] https://twitter.com/MaliciaRogue/status/426292295731011584 Bio: Science geek,Debian fan.Interest in gender in STEM.Anti-biopatents,pro-privacy.MENA & East. Eur analyst | #OpenData #OpenScience #ICT4Dev #FreeSpeech #OKFN حرية Location: Here and there · me.hatewasabi.info/index.html - 28, 509 tweets. 2,130 following. 2,215 followers.

The last tweet quoted here from the Arab Bloggers Meeting:

" **You do not need censorship if you have total surveillance.** "

#ab14

23 January 2014 katherine maher ‏@krmaher [^161.41] https://twitter.com/krmaher/status/426296280491769856 Bio: technology. policy. the middle east. all views my own. Location: international waters · katherinemaher.com - 17,454 tweets. 1,305 following. 8,387 followers.

• • • • •

" **What I worry about is kids growing up in a society where they say 'If I send this email or if I visit this website, then somebody may think I'm a terrorist. I'm not going to talk about this issue, I'm not going to read this book, I'm not going to explore this idea.'**

"I don't want anyone thinking about that. It upsets me very much and is not the kind of free society I think we should be living in."—Senator Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.)

This tweet is the source of the above quote:

What I worry about... #NSA pic.twitter.com/G7EbUU2cdx

25 March 2014 Bernie Sanders ‏@SenSanders [^161.42 and ^161.43 for his quote above] https://twitter.com/SenSanders/status/448412427034451968 Bio: Sen. Bernie Sanders is the longest serving independent in congressional history. Tweets ending in -B are from Bernie, and all others are from a staffer. Location: Vermont/DC · sanders.senate.gov - 9,004 tweets. 1,322 following. 205,525 followers.

The link in the tweet points to a photograph with the seal of the NSA visible on the left, with the above quote by Bernie Sanders on the right side of the image.

Me to policeman, Burundi: Rwandans are afraid to speak about the government.

His reply: Yes but there is nothing to criticise there.

1 January 2014 Mark Weston ‏@markweston19 [^161.44] https://twitter.com/markweston19/status/418637219134713856 Bio: Writer, researcher, consultant. Author of The Ringtone and the Drum. Immigrant. Tweets on Africa, mostly. Location: Africa's Great Lakes · theringtoneandthedrum.net. 4,549 tweets. 621 following. 953 followers.

Tweeted shortly after the Rwandan military and its surrogates, the M23 rebels, had been defeated in the eastern region of the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC). The rebels were known for their brutality against civilians. The Rwandan military and the M23 rebels had been expelled from the DRC with the help of a multinational military force, operating under the flag of the United Nations.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  162. Local governments and privacy

If you feel powerless against larger forces like the NSA, consider taking on a local problem like your police dept's own activities.

8 November 2013 Anonymous ‏@AnonyOps [^162.1] https://twitter.com/AnonyOps/status/398974374226567168 Bio: This machine supports whistleblowers. Location: Behind you, USA · anonyops.tumblr.com - 30,959 tweets. 974 following. 272,789 followers.

Privacy concerns often focus on governments because governments can make the biggest impact on our freedoms. Public discussions and media coverage of privacy concerns often look only at national issues, while overlooking important questions at the state and local levels.

New collection and surveillance technologies are being deployed by local governments faster than policies to limit their use and abuse. Privacy advocates find themselves playing catch-up to protect the public interest, chasing new technologies only after the technologies have been introduced.

Surveillance builds distrust. If people know that the government is spying on them, then they are more likely to distrust the government.

Surveillance has a chilling effect on public participation in civic life. An example would be a police car with an automated license plate reader (ALPR) that drives past a political rally, as occurred in West Virginia for example. ALPR data can be used to identify participants who have driven to the event. Such data can be stored forever and (because it was collected by government) accessed under the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) by stalkers, current and former employers, professional criminals, foreign entities and others. ALPR data can create a description of your life, where you go, and who your friends are.

Local government officials often have legitimate concerns about public safety, driven for example by reports of street crime in certain areas or neighborhoods. A popular reaction is to deploy surveillance technologies to stem such problems, without considering the impact of such technologies and how to possibly limit those impacts. Video cameras with facial recognition, for example, may seem like a good idea at first, yet the data from such devices can have dangerous consequences – as someone with violent stalkers or burglars may tell you. There is a tendency to ignore or blame the victims of such crimes, without considering the role of technology and data-retention policies.

Standards for data collection, storage and use are widely lacking or inadequate. For data collected by state and local law enforcement agencies from ALPRs, surveillance cameras, wireless Internet-packet-sniffers and collectors, smart parking meters, unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs), and emerging sources not identified here, the ACLU of Washington has suggested that:

We need statewide standards for data and use.

We believe we should live in a society where government doesn't store data on us for non-law-enforcement use.

The text above, beginning with "Privacy concerns often focus on government," is paraphrased from remarks made by Jamela Debelak, Technology & Liberty Director, ACLU of Washington (http://aclu-wa.org/), during her presentation: "Reigning in Government Surveillance in Washington," 21 October 2013, Capitol Hill, Seattle. https://wiki.openitp.org/events:techno-activism_3rd_mondays:seattle The paraphrased material above does not represent authoritative quotes. In her remarks, Jamela Debelak did not use the words "foreign entities."

Jamela Debelak @jdebelak [^162.2] Twitter bio and stats on 22 October 2013: Technology & Liberty Director @ACLU_WA. Tweeting about this 'n' that. Opinions are my own. Location: Seattle, WA. Location: 159 tweets. 150 following. 60 followers. Protected Twitter account on 22 October 2013. Ideas in the preceding text in this chapter were gleaned from Jamela Debelak's presentation on 21 October 2013. So too are the following two paragraphs.

ACLU of Washington @ACLU_WA [^162.3] Twitter bio and stats on 22 October 2013: The ACLU is the nation's premiere organization dedicated to defending and expanding all civil liberties and civil rights in America. Location: Seattle, WA · aclu-wa.org - 2,240 tweets. 1,808 following. 5,487 followers.

The event was organized in part by Seattle Privacy @SeattlePrivacy [^162.4] Twitter bio and stats on 20 May 2014: Individual privacy; Institutional transparency. Privacy by law and by tools. Location: Everywhere. seattleprivacy.org - 2,256 tweets. 1,179 following. 667 followers.

Jamela Debelak's presentation was hosted by Black Coffee @BlackCoffeeCoop [^162.5] Twitter bio and stats on 29 November 2013: Black Coffee is a workers' co-op, café, community space & infoshop in the Capitol Hill neighborhood of Seattle. Location: Seattle · blackcoffeecoop.com - 468 tweets. 351 following. 369 followers. Black Coffee's Capitol Hill shop closed on 24 October 2014.

The ACLU of Washington, at the time of the citation above, was developing recommended uniform standards for surveillance technology. The standards were intended to help local governments establish and clarify policies for deploying new surveillance technologies and for limiting the use and retention of any data collected. For example, the Washington ACLU recommended that government agencies, such as the police, be required to obtain city council or county council approval before deploying new surveillance technologies or using existing technologies for new and different purposes. To keep the public and elected officials informed, periodic inventories can be required of law enforcement agencies and other collectors. These inventories of surveillance systems can be conducted annually and include statistics on outputs and performance, and current policies for system use and data use, data retention, data discard, and privacy protections. Data not useful for legitimate law enforcement purposes can and often should be discarded immediately.

On the topic of protecting the privacy of data collected by private companies, the ACLU of Washington finds that this is harder for citizens to ensure for themselves, in part because the US Constitution's protections in this area are weak and date from earlier eras. The US Constitution's Fourth Amendment, for example, is often interpreted to offer little or no protection once someone hands their data over to a private company such as Facebook.

In the month following the presentation cited above, the ACLU was engaged in the issue of electronic-signals-collection devices being installed on utility poles in Seattle. These devices enabled the de-anonymization and instant location of individuals with cell phones and Wi-Fi enabled devices. The data captured by local government (including the content of communications) could then be archived indefinitely. Whereas law enforcement agencies previously needed to ask communication companies for access to citizens' communication data, now agencies can collect this data directly, store it forever and use it as they choose. The data could subsequently be sold or (since it is publicly collected and open to FOIA requests) given away to private companies and individuals.

For more information on the above paragraph: "You Are a Rogue Device - A New Apparatus Capable of Spying on You Has Been Installed Throughout Downtown Seattle. Very Few Citizens Know What It Is, and Officials Don't Want to Talk About It." By Matt Fikse-Verkerk and Brendan Kiley, The Stranger, 8 November 2013,  http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/you-are-a-rogue-device/Content?oid=18143845

FOIA = the US Freedom of Information Act.

Matt Fikse-Verkerk @mattfikse [^162.6] Twitter bio and stats on 8 November 2013: Strategy | Communications | Teamwork ... & Journalism. Location: Seattle USA · mfikse.com \- 12 tweets. 126 following. 118 followers. His first tweet was dated 2 October 2013.

Brendan Kiley's Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 8 November 2013: brendankiley @brendankiley [^162.7] thestranger.com - 43 tweets. 75 following. 326 followers.

The Stranger @strangerslog [^162.8] Twitter bio and stats on 8 November 2013: Seattle's Only Newspaper. Location: Seattle, WA · slog.thestranger.com/blogs/slog/ - 3,088 tweets. 72 following. 10,471 followers.

Mobile phone identifying info: IMEI (phone hardware); IMSI (SIM card); mobility (loc & time); calling pattern/numbers; voice recognition

8 November 2013 the grugq ‏@thegrugq [^162.9] https://twitter.com/thegrugq/status/398970592549806081 Bio: Cultural Attaché :: PGP key - http://pgp.mit.edu:11371/pks/lookup?op=get&search=0xDB60C7B9BD531054... :: Не верь, не бойся, не проси - Bangkok, Thailand · grugq.github.io - 40,962 tweets. 239 following. 11,132 followers.

Fight the power, but fight responsibly.

5 February 2014 Kevin Mitnick ‏@kevinmitdick [^162.10] https://twitter.com/kevinmitdick/status/430980763685642240 Bio: Fake Security Consultant, Public Speaker, & Author Whistling ICBM launch codes since 1988. Location: Las Vegas, NV · k-rad.net - 6,844 tweets. 29 following. 77,495 followers. This account is a parody of Kevin Mitnick @kevinmitnick – bio and stats on 5 February 2014: Security Consultant, Public Speaker, & Author Whistling ICBM launch codes since 1988. Las Vegas, NV · mitnicksecurity.com - 9,838 tweets. 1,805 following. 113,142 followers.

The above mention of Kevin Mitnick signals a shift of focus here, away from local governments and back to national ones, as the topics of privacy and freedom of speech come to a close.

Kevin Mitnick was one of the first hackers imprisoned in the United States. He did a year for breaking into a DEC (now HP) system at age 16. Then on 15 February 1995, "little Kevin," as he was affectionately known at the time, was arrested again and locked up for almost four more years for a variety of computer crimes. After his arrest in 1995, "Free Kevin" stickers (including those distributed by the magazine _2600: The Hacker Quarterly_ ) and graffiti could be spotted in areas frequented by the 31337. Mitnick is not the source of the quote above, but it appears to reflect his post-incarceration philosophy.

At the time of Mitnick's arrest, the state of cybersecurity at most companies and government agencies was so primitive and poorly understood by the leaders of those organizations that it became the subject of humor. Cartoons at the time showed a corporate executive talking to a disheveled young man. The executive would normally be expected to speak disdainfully to the youth. Instead, the executive asks, "Oh, you're a hacker? Come work for me."

Kevin Mitnick's Twitter account at the time of the above tweet showed pictures of a no-longer-quite-so-little Kevin relaxing on some South American beach with a laptop, conducting pen (penetration) tests for his corporate clients, who were seeking to have their systems tested for vulnerabilities. Mitnick encourages the use of virtual private networks (VPNs) as a basic security measure for individuals and businesses.

VPNs offer security advantages and are a means of circumventing censorship, but their limitations should not be ignored. When they fail to maintain an encrypted connection, VPNs typically fail in 'open' mode. Public VPNs do not provide end-to-end protection. They cannot protect you from viruses or malware, or repair a machine that is already compromised. Anonymity and VPN-use are not synonymous. Some VPN providers maintain traffic logs, which can be obtained by government agencies. Public VPN providers that do not maintain logs, and are therefore unlikely to police their traffic, are prone to abuse by some users, which rebounds on everyone sharing the same remote IP address. Patterns of abuse can render an IP address 'dirty' and subject to blocking by third-party web-service providers, which explains the instances where access to Google Search was blocked by Google during the course of research for this book.

The above tweet, "Fight the power, but fight responsibly," appeared the day after news reports revealed that Britain's GCHQ had been using offensive cyberweapons to bring down Internet chat rooms used by civil-society activists. Collateral damage extended to anyone sharing the same hosting providers and upstream ISPs as the chat rooms. Such attacks were an ongoing phenomenon at the time. News that a Crown entity was engaging in offensive cyberwarfare operations to silence British subjects on British websites originated from documents released to journalists by Edward Snowden in 2013.

The British government's legitimization of offensive cyberwar operations to silence domestic critics encouraged other regimes to follow suit, and for non-state actors to see offensive cyberwarfare as a legitimate option for them as well. News of GCHQ's offensive operations sparked concerns that if the British government were to attack a website supported by another government with offensive cyberwarfare capabilities, this could lead to an escalated conflict with substantial collateral damage.

For both state and non-state actors, the low-or-no cost of maintaining offensive cyber operations (and the difficulty defending against them) makes them attractive for use continuously against targets anywhere. The Stuxnet computer worm, discovered in June 2010 to be targeting uranium-enrichment centrifuges in Iran, signaled the outbreak of a permanent state of cyberwar at the nation-state level, as a covert extension of the political process.

Whereas state-sponsored attackers had access to sophisticated cyberweapons before 2010, that year saw the popularization of a free, easy-to-use tool called the _Low Orbit Ion Cannon_ (LOIC) that enabled novices to participate in denial-of-service attacks or to launch one of their own. It was popularized by Anonymous in 2010 in "Operation Payback" against copyright-enforcement organizations and then later that year in "Operation Avenge Assange" against financial institutions that refused to transfer anons' donations to Wikileaks.

A single instance of LOIC allows a point-to-point attack, not a distributed denial of service attack or DDoS. DDoSs usually focus on a single point of failure, whereas LOIC attacks by a swarm of anons can hit multiple points up and down a website, thereby complicating defense. MasterCard, Visa and other large financial institutions crippled by Anons in "Operation Avenge Assange" did not succumb until LOIC attacks were joined by DDoS attacks from botnets controlled by Anonymous sympathizers. Anons who did not hide their location when using LOIC could have their IP addresses traced back to them, exposing them to prosecution.

LOIC was a blunt, unsophisticated instrument compared to the state-sponsored tools in use by UK and US government agencies in 2010. LOIC democratized cyberwarfare without evening the odds.

In summary, state-level offensive cyberwarfare operations became accepted and institutionalized as the new status quo in 2010. Offensive cyberwarfare actions by non-state actors, although popularized in 2010, did not gain broad legitimacy until early 2014, when it was revealed that civil-society groups had been the target of state-sponsored attacks.

Related tweets:

The latest #snowden revelation suggests GCHQ are free to conduct electronic warfare (DDOS) with no parliamentary vote or discussion. Scary.

5 February 2014 Stuart Gray ‏@StuartGray [^162.11] https://twitter.com/StuartGray/status/430976450028904448 Bio: Innovator. Web Geek. Photographer. Location: Portsmouth, UK · stuartgray.com - 2,535 tweets. 1,464 following. 646 followers.

My Government used a DDoS attack against servers I owned, and then convicted me of conducted DDoS attacks. Seriously what the fucking fuck?

5 February 2014 Chris Weatherhead ‏@CJFWeatherhead [^162.12] https://twitter.com/CJFWeatherhead/status/431059633071878144 Bio: Christopher 'Nerdo' Weatherhead, Network Engineer, Internet Activist and Co-Founder of the AnonOps IRC Network (http://AnonOps.com ). Not a fan of jobhunting. Location: Canterbury, Kent · cjfw.me – 240 tweets. 118 following. 402 followers. DDoS = distributed denial of service attack.

@SteveD3 If I recall, @Power2All got a €2000+ overage bill from one of his co-lo providers and was forced to move facility.

5 February 2014 Chris Weatherhead ‏@CJFWeatherhead [^162.13] https://twitter.com/CJFWeatherhead/status/431118537764007937 Bio: Christopher 'Nerdo' Weatherhead, Network Engineer, Internet Activist and Co-Founder of the AnonOps IRC Network (http://AnonOps.com ). Not a fan of jobhunting. Location: Canterbury, Kent · cjfw.me – 240 tweets. 118 following. 402 followers. On that date, €2000 = 2706.40.

Reply:

@CJFWeatherhead @monkeyonahill War is when your government tells you who the enemy is. Revolution is when you figure it out for yourself.

5 February 2014 Rob Campbell ‏@mjolinor [^162.14] https://twitter.com/mjolinor/status/431075757847105536 Bio: AD and Exchange admin, Powershell evangelist, tactical logician in search of the elegant solution. mjolinor.wordpress.com \- 3,209 tweets. 114 following. 381 followers.

The risk of undeclared cyberwar operations causing collateral damage and precipitating a major conflict is an issue with the NSA's MonsterMind program, described here by James Bamford in his profile of Edward Snowden for Wired magazine:

The program, disclosed here for the first time, would automate the process of hunting for the beginnings of a foreign cyberattack. Software would constantly be on the lookout for traffic patterns indicating known or suspected attacks. When it detected an attack, MonsterMind would automatically block it from entering the country—a "kill" in cyber terminology.

Programs like this had existed for decades, but MonsterMind software would add a unique new capability: Instead of simply detecting and killing the malware at the point of entry, MonsterMind would automatically fire back, with no human involvement. That's a problem, Snowden says, because the initial attacks are often routed through computers in innocent third countries. "These attacks can be spoofed," he says. "You could have someone sitting in China, for example, making it appear that one of these attacks is originating in Russia. And then we end up shooting back at a Russian hospital. What happens next?"

Source:

"The most wanted man in the world," by James Bamford, Wired, 13 August 2014, http://www.wired.com/2014/08/edward-snowden/

James Bamford @WashAuthor [^162.15 and ^162.16 for quote below] Twitter bio and stats on 13 August 2014: Documentary Producer at PBS and author of The Puzzle Palace, Body of Secrets, A Pretext for War, and The Shadow Factory. WashWriter@gmail.com – Location: London and Washington. 35 tweets. 8 following. 3,247 followers.

Edward Snowden @Snowden [^162.17 and ^162.18 for quotes below] Bio and stats of his verified Twitter account on 4 October 2015: I used to work for the government. Now I work for the public. Director at FreedomofPress. freedom.press - 14 tweets. 1 following. 1,343,993 followers. His first tweet, posted on 29 September 2015, received over 120k retweets as of 4 October 2015: Can you hear me now? https://twitter.com/Snowden/status/648890134243487744

WIRED @WIRED [^162.19 and ^162.20 for quote below] Twitter bio and stats on 13 August 2014: WIRED is where tomorrow is realized. Location: San Francisco/New York. WIRED.com - 34,834 tweets. 45 following. 3,067,672 followers.

The subject of privacy and freedom of speech comes to a close here with a second quote from James Bamford's profile of Edward Snowden in Wired:

But in March 2012, Snowden moved again for Dell, this time to a massive bunker in Hawaii where he became the lead technologist for the information-sharing office, focusing on technical issues. Inside the "tunnel," a dank, chilly, 250,000-square-foot pit that was once a torpedo storage facility, Snowden's concerns over the NSA's capabilities and lack of oversight grew with each passing day. Among the discoveries that most shocked him was learning that the agency was regularly passing raw private communications—content as well as metadata—to Israeli intelligence. Usually information like this would be "minimized," a process where names and personally identifiable data are removed. But in this case, the NSA did virtually nothing to protect even the communications of people in the US. This included the emails and phone calls of millions of Arab and Palestinian Americans whose relatives in Israel-occupied Palestine could become targets based on the communications. "I think that's amazing," Snowden says. "It's one of the biggest abuses we've seen."

#  163. The Abyss

Somedays, there is no reassurance to be gotten from anywhere.

Working late on a Friday, 16 November 2012 Swarna Rajagopalan ‏@swarraj [^163.1] https://twitter.com/swarraj/status/269426337943539712 Her bio: Political scientist by training, writer, analyst, freelance researcher, highly educated factotum, sometimes teacher, building a thinktank called Prajnya. Location: India · http://www.swarnar.com \- 24,203 tweets. 676 following. 2,110 followers.

Sigh.

Too subtle, eh?

6 March 2013 donni ‏@donni [^163.2] https://twitter.com/donni/status/309467477002301441 Bio: Donni Saphire is my government name. Been talking into lots of microphones lately. Writing a thing. More at TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com ) Still not a cop. Location: Chicago city limits · favstar.fm/users/donni/recent - 9,992 tweets. 898 following. 28,156 followers. Tweet deleted within two hours.

There's only so much abyss I can take.

18 August 2012 Chris T.R. ‏@Chris_TR [^163.3] https://twitter.com/Chris_TR/status/236954999983329281 His Twitter bio and stats on 13 November 2013: A counterclockwise bed-rolling obsessive - ℝ⁶ \- 6,453 tweets. 484 following. 219 followers.

Plays on abyss instead of of this.

If you want to be happy, reading this isn't going to help.

19 August 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^163.4] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/237353024861900800 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 14,015 tweets. 3,128 following. 9,547 followers.

Self-reflection with a downbeat tone is the theme of this chapter. It is not meant to evoke humor as a means to achieve acceptance from others. Not uniformly depressive, this chapter shows an acceptance of tragedy and self-destruction as an inevitable part of life.

Apparently discontent has a spring and summer, as well.

26 May 2013 Don Nichols ‏@TheDairylandDon [^163.5] https://twitter.com/TheDairylandDon/status/338837620626976768 Twitter bio and stats on 15 June 2013: THIS guy. Location: Cookies, Aisle 6 · http://favstar.fm/users/TheDairylandDon/tweets_of_the_day \- 9,135 tweets. 511 following. 5,809 followers. Plays on: "The winter of my discontent."

Sometimes I wonder if we're gazing into the same abyss.

5 November 2013 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^163.6] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/397950667039334400 His bio and stats on 16 November 2013: Humble as Fuck. https://soundcloud.com/nerdamage-1/inconsequential-manifestations - 20,445 tweets. 3,421 following. 13,622 followers.

Please do not send unsolicited abyss pics

15 November 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^163.7] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/401431826188619776 Twitter bio and stats on 21 November 2013 of this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 16,371 tweets. 726 following. 27,435 followers.

The abyss stared back at me once and freaked the fuck out.

18 August 2012 Eris Stassi ‏@Eris [^163.8] https://twitter.com/Eris/status/236827104925331456 Her bio: UX Consultant in NY, SF. Like 'Sex in the City' meets 'Big Bang Theory'. Location: NY in body, SF in heart. 4,394 tweets. 602 following. 4,542 followers.

" **My eyes are up here, Abyss.** "

20 November 2013 TIMESCANNER ‏@timescanner [^163.9] https://twitter.com/timescanner/status/403260763013263360 Twitter bio and stats on 21 November 2013: TIMESCANNER is a gym full of children dressed in all white playing dodgeball with boiled beets. He is also the parents cheering them on and the referee whistle. Location: Seattle, WA · favstar.fm/users/timescanner - 31,866 tweets. 213 following. 7,242 followers.

Sometimes you just gotta ask the abyss to scoot over so you can gaze into the sexier one behind it.

14 July 2013 bllix, the tinier ‏@tinybllix - https://twitter.com/tinybllix/status/356337986247467008 Her bio and stats on 26 July 2013: Yes, I'm @bllix. No, I'm not a bot. Yes, I'm @loudbllix. No, I'm not schizophrenic. Yes, I'm real. No, I'm not a dude. Yes, I'm single. No, I'm busy later. Location: Portland, OR. · twitter.com/bllix - 4,058 tweets. 210 following. 1,362 followers. The same author posts as @bllix [^163.10], @tinybllix, @loudbllix and @bllixodus.

fun-sized abyss

31 October 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^163.11] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/396092893359640576 Twitter bio and stats on 21 November 2013 of this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 16,371 tweets. 726 following. 27,435 followers.

All abysses are fucked up, but some abysses are more fucked up than others.

1 August 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^163.12] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/362636557598994432 Twitter bio: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus \- 14,550 tweets. 611 following. 23,759 followers. Parody account.

Think outside the abyss.

16 January 2012 Fredrick Nietzsche @TinyNietzsche [^163.13] https://twitter.com/#!/TinyNietzsche/status/158982184991076352 Twitter bio and stats on 17 June 2013 for this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 13,921 tweets. 571 following. 22,555 followers.

"I'd hit that"- me, to rock bottom

18 May 2012 Heatherette ‏@happeh_header - https://twitter.com/happeh_header/status/203580858890846208 Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 14 November 2013: Heather Feather @happy_heatherrr [^163.14] aaaahahhahaha fuck you – Location: Oregon · http://favstar.fm/users/happy_heatherrr - 8,593 tweets. 801 following. 1,109 followers.

What do you think of this tweet's punctuation?

I've hit rock bottom so many times, it's starting to lose its novelty.

18 October 2013 Shea Burnham ‏@Glorificus917 [^163.15] https://twitter.com/Glorificus917/status/391437965140185088 Her Twitter bio and stats on 22 October 2013: You suck and I'm awesome. Instagram: Badkittie917 Location: Marietta/Atl, GA · favstar.fm/users/Glorificus917 - 12,604 tweets. 814 following. 1,999 followers.

Show me on the abyss where it all went wrong.

9 November 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^163.16] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/399288494045925377 Twitter bio and stats on 21 November 2013 of this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 16,371 tweets. 726 following. 27,435 followers.

I'm like a breath of fresh despair.

23 July 2012 Token Sam ‏@samyspaz [^163.17] https://twitter.com/samyspaz/status/227410812438982656 Her bio: I am always dancing. I am the nicest asshole you've never met. I like to wear whimsical t-shirts, what of it?! Location: Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. 23,290 tweets. 1,710 following. 4,152 followers. No account with this ID found on 13 April 2013.

Melancholy.

7 July 2012 Veronica ‏@RoniGrace - https://twitter.com/ronigrace/status/221570296606498817 Bio: I've started an empire; it may or may not be evil. I write stories. Some of them are erotic. 39,974 tweets. 1,366 following. 4,261 followers. Twittercided and returned on 17 July 2012 as Veronica Grace ‏@ronigrace [^163.18]. On 7 August 2013 her second account (@ronigrace) was found to have been abandoned and the ID taken over by someone else.

2 Facts:

1. A sheet of paper big enough to fold in half 50 times, would be 70 million miles thick by the 50th fold.

2. I'm dead inside.

7 June 2012 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^163.19] https://twitter.com/Schmoodles/status/210824252721598464

Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

<Insert happy & funny tweet here so people don't realize how damaged I truly am on the inside>

7 July 2012 ☠Dead Soul Walking☠ ‏@That_Damn_Duck [^163.20] https://twitter.com/That_Damn_Duck/status/221570120336678913 His bio and stats on 7 November 2012: A horrible person who's an Êv¡£ Genius & sarcasm specialist. AudioBoo & Instagram same name Blocked by @snooki @ItalianBratikus is rents this space. Location: Lake Murray, South Carolina · http://favstar.fm/users/That_Damn_Duck/recent - 3,496 tweets. 993 following. 9,371 followers.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result but I still get up every morning.

2 January 2012 shelby fero @shelbyfero [^163.21] https://twitter.com/#!/shelbyfero/status/154013116684967936 Her bio and stats on 12 December 2012 I'm not too crazy about me either. Location: California · http://favstar.fm/users/shelbyfero - 8,919 tweets. 770 following. 78,726 followers.

Morning brings the lights up on the same bad play.

21 November 2010 Alec Sulkin ‏@thesulk [^163.22] https://twitter.com/#!/thesulk/status/6397062321020928 His bio and stats on 22 November 2012: Breaker of Swift Mustache Hairs. Location: Los Angeles. 6,748 tweets. 836 following. 481,460 followers.

This day is pregnant with possibilities, but I just found out they're not mine.

3 September 2011 Alex Baze @bazecraze [^163.23] https://twitter.com/#!/bazecraze/status/110060033668153344 His bio and stats on 23 November 2012: Cynical shell. Soft, chewy center. Location: NYC. 5,989 tweets. 535 following. 52,032 followers.

Real life is where dreams go to die.

30 December 2011 Manish ‏@savvystrider [^163.24] https://twitter.com/savvystrider/status/152764610716499969 His Twitter bio and stats on 4 August 2013: I like everything you like. Location: Not there · http://favstar.fm/users/savvystrider/recent - 3,314 tweets. 7,304 following. 7,268 followers.

i remembered why i don't listen to music. nothing matters.

8 September 2012 sweet p ‏@preawsaurus [^163.25] https://twitter.com/preawsaurus/status/244336501092143104 Her bio and stats on 8 November 2012: i am nice. at least that's the way i perceive myself. i could be wrong. Location: Tellus · http://favstar.fm/users/preawsaurus/most_retweeted - 12,197 tweets. 910 following. 8,090 followers.

There is a tunnel at the end of the light.

29 August 2012 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^163.26] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/241015578859565057 His bio and stats on 13 November 2012: i was born 'n stuff. Location: Hanging out in my garage. http://favstar.fm/users/RobotThomas - 33,147 tweets. 6,053 following. 5,597 followers.

Birthing tweets to watch them die

30 April 2012 Lori ‏@SuperShourds [^163.27] https://twitter.com/supershourds/status/197015565079027712 Her bio and stats on 22 March 2013: Rambler, paranormal junky & conspiracy theorist, Mom. @TheRohiniReddy, @RodrigoH80 and I rub our butt cheeks together. O's/Skins/Caps! #kcco. Chive On. Location: Maryland · http://favstar.fm/users/SuperShourds - 3,800 tweets. 1,339 following. 1,371 followers.

'where do you live?', they ask. 'at the end of grace, where all the lights go out', she said.

14 May 2012 snarkarella ‏@snarkarella [^163.28] https://twitter.com/snarkarella/status/201933339362471937 Her bio and stats on 17 December 2012: i like snacking on ice cubes. 3,547 tweets. 389 following. 1,594 followers.

Dark moments!

18 November 2012 Andaleeb ‏@AndaleebRizvi [^163.29] https://twitter.com/AndaleebRizvi/status/270202232396455936 Her bio: I am all that I write or say or draw or make. And still none of it. A gypsy I am and will remain. Make of it what you want. I still haven't decided. http://andaleeb-rizvi.blogspot.com/ - 3,675 tweets. 108 following. 260 followers. Tweeted from Karachi during an epidemic of sectarian killings, power cuts, and political turmoil.

I feel like a character who was written out of the book, added back into the screenplay, then written out of the movie.

18 December 2010 donni @donni [^163.30] https://twitter.com/#!/donni/status/16382382210813952 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Comedy sand wedge. Writer, performer, fledgling opener, packet submitter. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Sea cows probably never see cows. Location: Chicago City Of Wind · http://qr.net/donni - 9,640 tweets. 839 following. 25,773 followers.

A movie about my life would really just be two hours of someone waiting at a bus stop and still managing to miss the bus.

5 November 2012 Just Lee ‏@Just_Lee_ [^163.31] https://twitter.com/Just_Lee_/status/265688280077574144 Her bio and stats on 6 November 2012: I have Twitter Tourette Syndrome. Its a real thing. And its incurable. So fuck it. http://favstar.fm/users/just_lee_ - 22,744 tweets. 1,710 following. 11,299 followers. Her bio and stats on 15 April 2014: Lets not make this personal. 781 tweets. 487 following. 2,306 followers.

Hey, if anyone has any terrible ideas, I've historically been very open to them

27 November 2012 lanyard ‏@lanyardtwerk [^163.32] https://twitter.com/lanyardtwerk/status/273499143454982144 Her bio and stats on 12 January 2013: I'm sorry, Francis. Here, would you care for some gum? Location: NY · http://favstar.fm/users/lanyardtwerk - 17,381 tweets. 989 following. 11,364 followers.

I do destructive better than anyone I know.

31 March 2014 Shea ‏@Glorificus917 [^163.33] https://twitter.com/Glorificus917/status/450796352122150912 Her bio and stats on 7 April 2014: There's no glitter in the gutter. http://Instagram.com/badkittie917 - Location: Marietta/Atl, GA. http://favstar.fm/users/Glorificus917 - 13,898 tweets. 823 following. 2,006 followers.

I'm succeeding at life, one fucking huge mistake at a time.

18 July 2012 PrincessCandyEmpire ‏@llvvzz - https://twitter.com/llvvzz/status/225548846904778752 Her bio and stats on 20 December 2012: I am not your perception of me. I control your perception of me. http://facebook.com/llvvzzz @llvvzzz for #FF Check out Tweet~Mates! at http://llvvzz.com - I Own A Chihuahua · http://favstar.fm/users/llvvzz - 1,985 tweets. 83,157 following. 83,737 followers. Indexed under her alternate ID: @lvvzz [^163.34].

Everywhere I walk there is shame.

31 October 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^163.35] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/395878720910553088 Twitter bio and stats on 21 November 2013 of this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 16,371 tweets. 726 following. 27,435 followers.

Would you like cheese with that failure?

8 November 2013 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^163.36] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/398976806184689664 His bio and stats on 16 November 2013: Humble as Fuck. https://soundcloud.com/nerdamage-1/inconsequential-manifestations - 20,445 tweets. 3,421 following. 13,622 followers.

I've picked the wrong door way too many times.

5 June 2012 eCornuto ‏@ecorno2 [^163.37] https://twitter.com/ecorno2/status/210112221760602113 - 3,197 followers. Bio and stats on 8 November 2012: Se non è vero, è ben trovato. Sogni d'oro. Godetevi lo spettacolo. 5,400 tweets. 1,049 following. 5,318 followers.

I feel about as empty inside as the tip jar at Arby's.

21 September 2010 Clarke Kant @clarkekant [^163.38] https://twitter.com/clarkekant/status/25188064041 Bio and stats on 18 November 2012: I'm all for saving the world, just not necessarily the people. Now available on http://Witstream.com ! Location: America-ish · http://favstar.fm/users/clarkekant - 9,997 tweets. 776 following. 29,442 followers.

Am I empty at the core or just around the edges?

11 January 2013 Peachy isk! ‏@Peachyisk [^163.39] https://twitter.com/Peachyisk/status/289449434750808064 Her bio and stats on 21 February 2013: hold on tight muchacha!! http://favstar.fm/users/Peachyisk - 3,449 tweets. 2,209 following. 2,153 followers.

Stay empty.

19 November 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^163.40] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/402938840093958144 Twitter bio and stats on 21 November 2013 of this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 16,371 tweets. 726 following. 27,435 followers.

Maybe if we could redefine empty.

12 June 2014 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@tinynietzsche [^163.41] https://twitter.com/tinynietzsche/status/477196517183221761 Bio and stats on 15 June 2014: Will to power less. Location: Prussia. twitter.com/tinyjesus - 19,021 tweets. 767 following. 33,688 followers.

I'm the unclaimed baggage in the airport of life.

30 July 2012 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^163.42] https://twitter.com/Schmoodles/status/230041406436151296 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

I don't have a lot on my mind but my mind's got a lot on me.

15 March 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^163.43] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/312493406347739136 Her bio: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 13,755 tweets. 2,038 following. 2,070 followers.

am i mad? no. am i lonely and bored and feeling rejected in a life that's a whirlwind of hopelessness and misery? Yes

17 March 2013 Sputnik Sweetheart ‏@Verlieren [^163.44] https://twitter.com/Verlieren/status/313374996422606851 Her bio and stats on 19 March 2013: Creator of Google, previously psychotic person. Not to make you fall in love with me but I probably don't have AIDS. http://tinyurl.com/verinstagram - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001856/ - 12,324 tweets. 479 following. 16,243 followers.

Giving up on me is the new black.

5 June 2013 Nash ‏@NASHterpiece [^163.45] https://twitter.com/NASHterpiece/status/342311689963843585 Bio and stats on 7 June 2013: I have a fucking tendency to over fucking use the fucking word fuck. Location: Your fucking imagination · favstar.fm/users/nashterpiece - 7,454 tweets. 8,421 following. 12,989 followers.

Trying to be less negative but it'll never work.

10 June 2012 Alec Sulkin ‏@thesulk [^163.46] https://twitter.com/thesulk/status/211833787217227776 His bio and stats on 22 November 2012: Breaker of Swift Mustache Hairs. Location: Los Angeles. 6,748 tweets. 836 following. 481,460 followers.

I need a handler for my disappointment

8 July 2012 Aparna Nancherla ‏@aparnapkin [^163.47] https://twitter.com/aparnapkin/status/222053862322876416 Her bio and stats on 21 November 2012: I am a scrunched up napkin with recyclable dreams. Also a comedian in some cultures. Total drag in others. Location: NY/LA sidewalk nook · http://www.aparnacomedy.com - 3,816 tweets. 1,381 following. 17,864 followers.

Remember when we had hopes and dreams? Good times.

16 May 2011 Niki @NikiWithIssues [^163.48] https://twitter.com/#!/NikiWithIssues/status/70033320649564160 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: I'm super lazy. Which is like normal lazy but I'm also wearing a cape. Location: The Shire · http://favstar.fm/users/NikiWithIssues - 6,027 tweets. 811 following. 35,838 followers.

I would love to have more self-esteem, but I don't deserve it.

17 July 2012 swollenvoice ‏@swollenvoice [^163.49] https://twitter.com/swollenvoice/status/225388118294007808 His Twitter bio and stats on 14 November 2013: Jokes are meant to be told, heard and laughed at. I am the speed reading champ among dyslexic 1st graders. Location: Denver Colorado · Swollenvoice.tumblr.com - 35,817 tweets. 4,400 following. 9,244 followers.

Self respect is so overrated.

7 October 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^163.50] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/254915099607826432 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,223 tweets. 1,918 following. 1,773 followers.

panda crying after hearing he's your spirit animal

8 November 2013 Albertus ‏@vyfdewiel [^163.51] https://twitter.com/vyfdewiel/status/398740498392702976 Bio and stats on 14 November 2013: a face you can trust. Location: South Africa. 43 tweets. 227 following. 77 followers.

I like the idea of me more then the actual person.

20 February 2013 neptunian ‏@kamiekaymee [^163.52] https://twitter.com/kamiekaymee/status/304456419661471744 Her bio: Moldy sandwich model. favstar.fm/users/kamiekaymee - 3,344 tweets. 858 following. 5,150 followers.

I don't like me, but I get me.

24 August 2012 donni ‏@donni [^163.53] https://twitter.com/donni/status/239112994297102336 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Comedy sand wedge. Writer, performer, fledgling opener, packet submitter. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Sea cows probably never see cows. Location: Chicago City Of Wind · http://qr.net/donni - 9,640 tweets. 839 following. 25,773 followers.

I am bad at me.

13 June 2014 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@tinynietzsche [^163.54] https://twitter.com/tinynietzsche/status/477426833600675840 Bio and stats on 15 June 2014: Will to power less. Location: Prussia. twitter.com/tinyjesus - 19,021 tweets. 767 following. 33,688 followers.

I wish it was society's fault.

18 November 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^163.55] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/402611943761920000 Twitter bio and stats on 21 November 2013 of this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 16,371 tweets. 726 following. 27,435 followers.

Don't know why I'm so tired. I got at least 8 hours of nightmares.

26 May 2012 Alex Baze ‏@bazecraze [^163.56] https://twitter.com/bazecraze/status/206439853813006338 His bio and stats on 23 November 2012: Cynical shell. Soft, chewy center. Location: NYC. 5,989 tweets. 535 following. 52,032 followers.

If by dream you mean nightmare, then yeah, I'm fucking living the dream.

7 April 2011 Miss Fuckalicious ‏@PyrBliss [^163.57] https://twitter.com/pyrbliss/status/56211566961496064 Her bio and stats on 7 November 2012: Swearing on Twitter is my anti-drug. Come for the cuteness, stay for the rage. I say FUCK! a lot. Location: In your pocket · http://favstar.fm/users/PyrBliss - 2,916 tweets. 838 following. 26,747 followers.

I regret the day before it even begins

2 November 2012 Mudblood ‏@DiscoLemonKayy [^163.58] https://twitter.com/DiscoLemonKayy/status/264308693565317121 Her bio: I'm a shade too awkward for pretty; this muggle bullshit is for the birds. Location: into the wild :) 26,422 tweets. 910 following. 6,553 followers.

Life is too short to go through it miserable but long enough to ensure that you do.

1 December 2010 Butterfingers @tackie_jackie [^163.59] https://twitter.com/#!/tackie_jackie/status/10188369271193600 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: Took a weird-ass turn and ended up here. 8,854 tweets. 776 following. 9,369 followers.

my misery feels eternal

Source: the black coffee community book, volume 10, anonymous handwritten entry viewed on 26 November 2013, written at some time during the previous three months. The books are small black-bound volumes of unlined blank paper. Anyone could write or draw in the books. Black Coffee @BlackCoffeeCoop [^163.60] Twitter bio and stats on 29 November 2013: Black Coffee is a workers' co-op, café, community space & infoshop in the Capitol Hill neighborhood of Seattle. Location: Seattle · blackcoffeecoop.com - 468 tweets. 351 following. 369 followers. Black Coffee's Capitol Hill shop closed on 24 October 2014.

Misery loves crumpling

3 March 2013 donni ‏@donni [^163.61] https://twitter.com/donni/status/308143259534901248 Bio: Me? I'm Donni Saphire. Jokesayer. Sketchwriter. Buttdancer. Put me on your showcase. More at TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com ) Stealing babies will be caught. Location: Chicago but restless · favstar.fm/users/donni/recent - 9,989 tweets. 899 following. 28,063 followers. Tweet deleted within an hour. Plays on 'company.'

He loved misery and it loved him right back.

3 March 2013 Silver Kick ‏@SilverKick [^163.62] https://twitter.com/SilverKick/status/308140318040137728 Her bio: My feet are allergic to flats. IG: silverkickdiaries - http://favstar.fm/users/SilverKick/recent - 31,414 tweets. 1,027 following. 5,549 followers. She tweeted this a few minutes before @donni tweeted his misery tweet above.

Hypathetically speaking, my pathetic is more pathetic than your pathetic.

13 April 2012 Noor Shamma ‏@NoorShamma [^163.63] https://twitter.com/noorshamma/status/190914763151253506 Her bio and stats on 13 February 2013: I don't cry. No one's worth my boogers. http://noorshamma.tumblr.com [Instagram: noorshamma] Location: Not Found · favstar.fm/users/NoorShamma - 4,775 tweets. 785 following. 5,324 followers. "Not found" are her words in her profile.

Of all the things I fear. Feeling like this forever is the scariest.

19 July 2012 captain sidcup ‏@captainsidcup [^163.64] https://twitter.com/captainsidcup/status/226054120019222528 His bio: Bi-polar musings of a rampant narcissist. The thinking woman's Jedi Knight. No DM's please. Location: The Naughty Step. UK. 19,555 tweets. 1,019 following. 1,396 followers.

my brother answers my calls now with "is everything okay"

8 January 2013 lauren ashley bishop ‏@sbellelauren [^163.65] https://twitter.com/sbellelauren/status/288790138820108289 Her bio and stats on 1 February 2013: i'm a comedian from arkansas. i live in LA. but i comede all over. http://witstream.com please & thank you http://favstar.fm/users/sbellelauren - http://weakendupdate.tumblr.com – Location: hollywood · http://laurenashleybishop.tumblr.com/ - 9,879 tweets. 999 following. 35,118 followers. The quotation marks above are preserved as they appeared in the original tweet.

"Water under the bridge" is no help if the bridge is burning.

3 August 2012 Andy Glib ‏@redherringbear [^163.66] https://twitter.com/redherringbear/status/231523535800127488 His bio and stats on 14 December 2012: Word salad spinner. I mangle syntax so you don't have to. 18+ please. Location: Oregon · http://favstar.fm/users/redherringbear/ - 8,747 tweets. 2,036 following. 2,383 followers.

Hearing loud sirens!

3 December 2012 Andaleeb ‏@AndaleebRizvi [^163.67] https://twitter.com/AndaleebRizvi/status/275644262035636224 Her bio and stats on 4 February 2013: I am all that I write or say or draw or make. And still none of it. A gypsy I am and will remain. Make of it what you want. I still haven't decided. http://andaleeb-rizvi.blogspot.com/ - 5,307 tweets. 127 following. 361 followers. Tweeted at 9:54 p.m. in Karachi.

SCREAMING FOR NO REASON!

A little after 8 p.m. EDT on a Saturday night, 2 February 2013. Not the Lord ‏@byronblurb [^163.68] https://twitter.com/byronblurb/status/297877351017115648 Bio: skilled at the art of changing the subject; unlimited fountain of useless nonsense; usually able to finish 2 cheeseburgers with no problem. Header art created by @suiz. 11,082 tweets. 5,758 following. 6,563 followers. He deleted this tweet within half an hour.

I need to stop reading the news today because I'm one story away from quitting my job so I can spend my days downtown shouting incoherently.

20 February 2011 Joel Ingersoll ‏@FlyoverJoel [^163.69] https://twitter.com/flyoverjoel/status/39361961397469184 His bio and stats on 10 December 2012: I get up and I put on pants. Location: Saint Paul, MN · http://favstar.fm/users/FlyoverJoel/most_retweeted - 9,975 tweets. 540 following. 6,314 followers.

" **Bad news story" is almost a redundancy these days.**

12 May 2013 NOmad Red Owl (street name) [^163.70] in a late-night sidewalk conversation, Capitol Hill, Seattle.

Probably dying inside right now.

Hard to say with the television on.

4 July 2012 Friedrich Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^163.71] https://twitter.com/tinynietzsche/status/220640036759154688 Twitter bio and stats on 17 June 2013 for this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 13,921 tweets. 571 following. 22,555 followers.

And now here's Cerberus with the weekend forecast for the River Styx.

22 October 2012 donni ‏@donni [^163.72] https://twitter.com/donni/status/260536801960271873 Bio: Comedy sand wedge. Writer, performer, fledgling opener, packet submitter. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Sea cows probably never see cows. Location: Chicago City Of Wind http://qr.net/donni \- 9,506 tweets. 836 following. 25,497 followers. He deleted this tweet within ten minutes.

In Greek and Roman mythology, Cerberus is a hound who guards the River Styx to prevent those who have crossed over from crossing back. Cerberus is usually depicted with three heads, enabling him to watch the past, present and future simultaneously.

People aren't always a mirror of what they tweet.

We are way more fucked up than you can imagine.

22 October 2012 Chrisanna4real ‏@chrisanna4real [^163.73] https://twitter.com/chrisanna4real/status/260516615664316417 Her bio and stats on 27 October 2012: I RT A LOT. My life will make you laugh. I'm drunk a lot. Beer me. Most at home in @chopper4jk's pants and my best girl is @the_martinigirl. IG: chrisanna4real Location: So Cal, that's all you get. · http://favstar.fm/users/chrisanna4real - 31,994 tweets. 9,265 following. 17,404 followers.

Men are like lottery tickets. Very exciting at first, until you scratch away the surface to reveal the loser beneath.

15 November 2010 @mikey_m00n - https://twitter.com/#!/mikey_m00n/status/4179394385940480 - @mikey_m00n of 15 November 2010 found as Stace Wanker @Mister_m00n on 9 February 2011, then as Lunar Éclair @michael_J_m00n - on 14 August 2011. His Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 14 November 2013: Major McNipples @mikeym00n [^163.74] Practicing comediatrician rejected by witstream dot com. I'm naked under my spacesuit. Location: Walking on the Moon · http://favstar.fm/users/mikeym00n/recent - 28,926 tweets. 3,135 following. 7,133 followers.

Sometimes I fantasize about "going out for a pack of smokes" and never coming back to this horrible domestic situation. And I live alone.

12 July 2012 Señor Winces ‏@senorwinces [^163.75] https://twitter.com/senorwinces/status/223609542372634625 Twitter bio and stats on 8 June 2013: My life coach advised me to run out the clock. Location: Brooklyn, NY · tinyurl.com/kuhuut4 - 4,240 tweets. 2,077 following. 13,513 followers.

The delivery guy hands over my six pizzas. I close the door, turn off the MP3 of party noise and let out a long, shuddering breath.

26 March 2012 Joshua Allen ‏@fireland [^163.76] https://twitter.com/fireland/status/184457133612478468 His bio and stats on 18 November 2012: cockblocking beats. Location: Denver · http://fireland.com - 955 tweets. 192 following. 42,922 followers.

set my emergency contact to pizza hut

5 December 2011 Tracy Marquez @tracy_marq [^163.77] https://twitter.com/#!/tracy_marq/status/143604669472714752 Her Twitter bio and stats on 22 August 2013: Batman called me a faggot once. (24. comedian. cashier. lives with her parents). Location: California · https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r-V548x7FI - 9,649 tweets. 598 following. 15,742 followers.

Uncontrollable sobbing or it didn't happen.

10 November 2012 Mae ‏@mzeld [^163.78] https://twitter.com/mzeld/status/267366518424223746 Her bio and stats on 12 November 2012: LET'S DO TWEETS OFF EACH OTHER'S BUTTS http://www.internet.com - 16,846 tweets. 698 following. 21,805 followers. Plays on the phrase: Pics or it didn't happen.

I'm doing terrible well.

31 May 2012 skullcat ‏@skullcat [^163.79] https://twitter.com/skullcat/status/208361069209600003 Her bio and stats on 13 January 2013, when her most recent tweet was dated 14 October 2012: Using sarcasm as a natural defense against companionship, and alcohol as artificial protection from sobriety. Mom to teen, designer to graphics. Location: Vancouver · http://favstar.fm/users/skullcat - 29,183 tweets. 6,736 following. 8,289 followers.

Knock knock

*hides*

1 January 2014 moody monday ‏@mdob11 [^163.80] https://twitter.com/mdob11/status/418638410467647488 Twitter bio and stats on 3 January 2014: Dentist. I like teeth. Location: Australia · favstar.fm/users/mdob11 - 16,292 tweets. 5,155 following. 14,539 followers.

I just went to the bathroom and it was like the mirror was looking straight at me.

28 October 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^163.81] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/262805794167349248 Bio: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 9,422 tweets. 1,836 following. 1,546 followers.

The hopeful stare into the mirror quickly became a morose stare into the ceiling.

18 August 2011 char @charstarlene [^163.82] https://twitter.com/#!/charstarlene/status/104223067810701312 Her Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 24 July 2013: Charlene deGuzman @charstarlene - http://favstar.fm/users/charstarlene - Location: los angeles · youtube.com/charstarleneTV - 2,513 tweets. 299 following. 18,695 followers.

Teenagers who spend much of their time listening to music are 8.3 times more likely to be depressed.

9 January 2012 What The F Facts @WhatTheFFacts [^163.83] https://twitter.com/#!/WhatTheFFacts/status/156427532986630144 Twitter screen name, bio and stats of this verified account on 20 November 2013: What The F*** Facts @WhatTheFFacts - Official Account of What The F*** Facts. WhatTheFFacts.com - 16,355 tweets. 7 following. 3,904,604 followers.

Are teenagers more likely to listen to music if they are already depressed, or are they depressed because they listen to music, or is it a mix of both? An issue with "facts" accounts is that they seldom cite sources to substantiate their assertions, which can be misleading or incorrect. On 20 November 2013 this tweet was found to have been deleted. Why, perhaps?

I like to listen to sad music when I'm sad just to make sure I stay that way.

23 September 2013 Shea Burnham ‏@Glorificus917 [^163.84] https://twitter.com/Glorificus917/status/382338153543385088 Her bio: You suck and I'm awesome. Instagram: Badkittie917. Location: Marietta/Atl, GA · favstar.fm/users/Glorificus917 - 12,181 tweets. 777 following. 1,884 followers.

I SIT IN MY ROOM AND LISTEN TO MUSIC. ALOT.

21 April 2013 Tyler, The Creator ‏@fucktyler [^163.85] https://twitter.com/fucktyler/status/326226162856632320 Bio and stats on 24 April 2013: I AM NOT A DYKE. FLOG GNAW. http://oddfuture.com - 27,442 tweets. 468 following. 1,641,804 followers.

*Turns on radio*

"Shine bright like a..."

*Turns off radio*

11 December 2012 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^163.86] https://twitter.com/Schmoodles/status/278490164349771776 Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

I work in Mental Health &

I am surrounded by dysfunction,

passive-aggression, paranoia &

delusional thinking.

Then,

there's the patients.

19 April 2012 Psycholyst ‏@Psycholyst [^163.87] https://twitter.com/psycholyst/status/193187976677822464 His bio and stats on 4 May 2013: I always thought that same sex marriage was what straight couples suffered from. Location: Shitsplat, Georgia · http://favstar.fm/users/Psycholyst - 17,463 tweets. 605 following. 2,601 followers.

**My passive aggression is so passive that it goes unnoticed** ;(

7 September 2012 Adam Matonic ‏@dietschweppes [^163.88] https://twitter.com/dietschweppes/status/244162131996577793 Twitter bio and stats on 10 July 2013: Just a simple girl in a high-tech, digital world. Location: easy-to-find · adammatonic.tumblr.com - 9,364 tweets. 191 following. 1,553 followers.

I wish my brain would give me the silent treatment.

16 July 2012 Silver Kick ‏@SilverKick [^163.89] https://twitter.com/SilverKick/status/224990693981040640 Her bio and stats on 23 October 2012 Silver Kick: I'm evil. I'm a superhero. http://www.thesilverkickdiaries.com/p/about-me.html. Location: Strolling around your mind. · http://favstar.fm/users/SilverKick/recent - 24,940 tweets. 984 following. 3,603 followers.

I like my coffee like my soul:

black, bitter, alone, ugly, miserable & dead inside;

also this stopped being about the coffee a while ago.

18 February 2012 Josh ‏@RainyBritain [^163.90] https://twitter.com/RainyBritain/status/170962180731191296 His bio and follower count 23 May 2012: If anyone wants to come by later and talk about how 1 is the loneliest number I'm free pretty much all day. Location: an hour east of an ugly beach. 3,060 followers.

Well aren't you a little ray of pitch black

13 April 2013 Pol ‏@PolhunterP [^163.91] https://twitter.com/PolhunterP/status/323145568341868544 His Twitter bio and stats on 9 October 2013: Steelers. Location: The Granite City Scotland · favstar.fm/users/PolhunterP - 22,023 tweets. 4,534 following. 5,290 followers.

My heart is a dark bar.

5 November 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^163.92] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/265441446105055232 Her bio and stats on 6 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 9,816 tweets. 1,963 following. 1,680 followers. This is one of only three tweets to be quoted more than once in the main body of this book.

My personal demons have their own personal demons.

7 November 2012 ☠Lost Soul Walking☠ ‏@That_Damn_Duck [^163.93] https://twitter.com/That_Damn_Duck/status/266306284280762368 His bio and stats on 7 November 2012: A horrible person who's an Êv¡£ Genius & sarcasm specialist. AudioBoo & Instagram same name Blocked by @snooki @ItalianBratikus is rents this space. Location: Lake Murray, South Carolina · http://favstar.fm/users/That_Damn_Duck/recent - 3,496 tweets. 993 following. 9,371 followers.

Sometimes I just stand in my shower with a look of defeat on my face. Like someone's hosing me down.

19 July 2010 Tina Chesal @tinaisall [^163.94] https://twitter.com/#!/tinaisall/status/18900450980 Twitter bio and stats on 18 June 2013: You are so pretty. Instagram: tinaisall. Location: New York/London/Paris/Tokyo · duhbytina.com - 6,892 tweets. 1,021 following. 6,330 followers.

No-tears shampoo can only prevent so much emotion.

15 May 2012 Nick ‏@NickBossRoss [^163.95] https://twitter.com/NickBossRoss/status/202503984009838592 His bio and stats on 12 August 2012: You may remember me from such things as the internet. I'm younger than you. Location: Canada or in the moment. 3,714 tweets. 766 following. 1,854 followers. His bio and stats on 15 December 2012: Writer and pseudo-artist for @impersonals, contributor to CollegeHumor and was once Michael Cera. Location: Canada or in the moment · http://favstar.fm/users/NickBossRoss/recent/ - 5,877 tweets. 759 following. 5,071 followers.

No, I was crying WITH the shower.

17 May 2012 Captain Morgan ‏@MorganJ7 [^163.96] https://twitter.com/morganj7/status/203276444292497408 Her bio: Fuck romance, I want a burrito. Location: Costa Mesa, CA. 4,152 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 18 July 2013: Fuck romance, I want a burrito. Location: Costa Mesa, CA · favstar.fm/users/MorganJ7 - 6,135 tweets. 901 following. 6,305 followers.

Sadness is my passion.

5 November 2013 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^163.97] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/397967684249206784 His bio and stats on 16 November 2013: Humble as Fuck. https://soundcloud.com/nerdamage-1/inconsequential-manifestations - 20,445 tweets. 3,421 following. 13,622 followers.

Self defeating personality disorder.

7 October 2012 Adly ‏@TheAdly [^163.98] https://twitter.com/TheAdly/status/255090339537358850 His bio: Escapism (n): The tendency to seek distraction and relief from unpleasant realities by seeking entertainment or engaging in fantasy. Location: Manhattan. http://theadly.tumblr.com/ - 26,129 tweets. 153 following. 9,776 followers. His bio and stats on 25 December 2013: Epiphany addict - Wonder junkie. Location: Dubai · talesofanescapist.com - 27,381 tweets. 60 following. 20,146 followers.

# **ThingsIGetAlot**

-Avoided.

-Mood swings.

-Restraining orders.

-Panic attacks.

-Cat food.

-Forcibly removed from bars.

-Chlamydia. :(

4 November 2012 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^163.99] https://twitter.com/Schmoodles/status/265140168904830976 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

**Every walk I take is a walk of shame** :(

13 May 2012 Josh Hara ‏@yoyoha [^163.100] https://twitter.com/#!/yoyoha/status/201800613401600000 His bio and stats on 7 November 2012: I'm just a boy, standing in front of the internet, asking it to love him. Location: Columbus, Ohio · http://www.statusillustrated.com - 9,690 tweets. 668 following. 44,423 followers.

Who needs enemies when you have yourself.

31 August 2012 Pakimon ‏@Maryam_MAhmad [^163.101] https://twitter.com/Maryam_MAhmad/status/241523866722263040 Her bio and stats on 14 September 2012: I write poorly. You will hear me laugh often. 816 tweets. 53 following. 209 followers. Her bio and stats on 10 February 2014: My ideals are unfashionable. Location: germany. 1,012 tweets. 67 following. 214 followers.

Rumors don't bother me. They all pale in comparison to how fucked up I really am.

1 February 2013 NoLuckWanted ‏@NoLuckWanted [^163.102] https://twitter.com/NoLuckWanted/status/297491448608198657 Twitter bio and stats on 28 February 2013 for NoLuckWanted @NoLuckWanted - You say immoral; I say make it a double. Uncensored account for @NoLuckNeeded ♣ http://favstar.fm/users/NoLuckWanted - Location: Waterfront Bar · http://favstar.fm/users/NoLuckWanted/recent - 18,932 tweets. 7,508 following. 19,057 followers.

I'm at the point I don't even wonder why I'm single anymore.

25 October 2012 Smokin_Nympho ‏@Soo_Scandalouss [^163.103] https://twitter.com/Soo_Scandalouss/status/261638637974847488 Her bio: I skip Confession, b/c I'm not Catholic. I commit misdemeanors & drink Bourbon with my partner in crime @joblesssamurai I play beer pong with @greensmoke_ Location: 30 Seconds to Mars · http://favstar.fm/users/Soo_Scandalouss/recent - 12,620 tweets. 1,982 following. 4,779 followers.

Same day:

I don't even think I know how to relate to someone who has their shit together.

25 October 2012 Smokin_Nympho ‏@Soo_Scandalouss [^163.104] https://twitter.com/Soo_Scandalouss/status/261542704507400192 Her bio: I skip Confession, b/c I'm not Catholic. I commit misdemeanors & drink Bourbon with my partner in crime @joblesssamurai I play beer pong with @greensmoke_ Location: 30 Seconds to Mars · http://favstar.fm/users/Soo_Scandalouss/recent - 12,620 tweets. 1,982 following. 4,779 followers.

We get it! You're going to die alone.

31 January 2013 iJaz ‏@jazmasta [^163.105] https://twitter.com/jazmasta/status/297062846406197248 His bio: Voted best up and cumming actor at the adult film Awards 2013. Location: UK · favstar.fm/users/jazmasta - 13,202 tweets. 1,124 following. 4,339 followers.

Embrace the futility.

18 August 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^163.106] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/236946532681801728 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 14,015 tweets. 3,128 following. 9,547 followers.

Your life is only a mess if it bothers you.

15 February 2013 da Blurb ‏@byronblurb [^163.107] https://twitter.com/byronblurb/status/302654257566470144 His bio and stats on 27 February 2013: skilled at the art of changing the subject; unlimited fountain of useless nonsense; usually able to finish 2 cheeseburgers with no problem. favstar link in repair. 11,455 tweets. 5,788 following. 6,630 followers.

The road to indifference isn't paved.

26 July 2012 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^163.108] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/228734859877679104 His bio and stats on 13 November 2012: i was born 'n stuff. Location: Hanging out in my garage. http://favstar.fm/users/RobotThomas - 33,147 tweets. 6,053 following. 5,597 followers.

Nothing will get me down because I'm already on the floor.

19 April 2012 Cloudypiano ‏@cloudcm [^163.109] https://twitter.com/cloudcm/status/192908264529338368 Twitter bio and stats on 26 July 2012: we must look for consistency; where there is want of it we must suspect twitter... Location: San Francisco, CA. 1,126 tweets. 1,243 following. 1,042 followers. Profile photo showed a woman sleeping, as if on vacation. Twitter bio and stats on 17 July 2013: we must look for consistency; where there is want of it we must suspect twitter... Location: san rafael, ca · cloudyblueyes.tumblr.com - 6,461 tweets. 638 following. 2,938 followers.

I am the lifeless of the party.

19 May 2012 donni ‏@donni [^163.110] https://twitter.com/#!/donni/status/204054449273053186 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Comedy sand wedge. Writer, performer, fledgling opener, packet submitter. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Sea cows probably never see cows. Location: Chicago City Of Wind · http://qr.net/donni - 9,640 tweets. 839 following. 25,773 followers.

I can't tell where I begin and the damage ends.

7 March 2013 Shea Burnham ‏@Glorificus917 [^163.111] https://twitter.com/Glorificus917/status/309701636102696962 Her bio: You suck and I'm awesome. Location: Marietta/Atl, GA · http://favstar.fm/users/Glorificus917 - 8,790 tweets. 725 following. 1,542 followers.

At some point, life has to run out of lemons

6 October 2012 Sean Emeny ‏@SeanEmeny [^163.112] https://twitter.com/SeanEmeny/status/254535066661822464 His bio and stats the next day: One time I won a bike playing rock, paper, scissors. http://favstar.fm/users/SeanEmeny Location: Vancouver. 2,377 tweets. 1,012 following. 2,057 followers.

I'm also this awesome in real life.

7 October 2012 Clearly Unwell ‏@ClearlyUnwell [^163.113] https://twitter.com/ClearlyUnwell/status/255156182505910272 His stats the next day: 5,306 tweets. 727 following. 7,529 followers. His bio and stats on 16 March 2013: Women don't like being told what to do unless they're naked. Instagram: clearlyunwelll · http://favstar.fm/users/clearlyunwell/recent - 7,867 tweets. 754 following. 9,165 followers.

Oh my god your inner monologue is so boring

2 January 2011 Sarah Silverman @SarahKSilverman [^163.114] https://twitter.com/#!/SarahKSilverman/status/21701313846845441 Her bio and stats on 18 November 2012: We're all just molecules, Cutie. Location: Palestinian Territories · http://youtube.com/sarahsilverman - 2,425 tweets. 376 following. 3,618,750 followers.

I always save the best lies for myself.

28 December 2011 Ryanne @rydontcare [^163.115] https://twitter.com/#!/rydontcare/status/152080221682663424 No Twitter account found with this ID on 9 February 2013 and 20 November 2013. On 29 November 2011 she had 4,106 followers.

I'm at the point where my lies are telling each other lies.

24 August 2011 Steve Mazepa @zepadeedoodah [^163.116] https://twitter.com/#!/zepadeedoodah/status/106569400768937984 Twitter bio and stats on 20 November 2013: Not sure if I should be hiding or seeking. Location: Los Angeles. 2,697 tweets. 301 following. 12,733 followers.

Lying to myself makes me happy. So just let me do it.

19 October 2012 Rachel Zane ‏@meowskins [^163.117] https://twitter.com/meowskins/status/238279104221302784 Her bio: i have an angel on my shoulder but a devil in my head. Location: atlanta http://favstar.fm/users/meowskins - 9,220 tweets. 670 following. 617 followers.

Everybody lies.

13 September 2012 David Grey ‏@DrCowboyBlog [^163.118] https://twitter.com/DrCowboyBlog/status/246395829320040448 Location: Kansastan. 5,340 tweets. 311 following. 308 followers.

Honesty shouldn't sound so refreshing.

20 August 2011 rands @rands [^163.119] https://twitter.com/#!/rands/status/105034226612699136 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 8,540 tweets. 499 following. 27,448 followers.

No one cares if you're apathetic.

27 October 2012 Steve Mieczkowski ‏@IGotsSmarts [^163.120] https://twitter.com/IGotsSmarts/status/262398894237962240 Bio: I only have 26 letters to work with. Don't expect any miracles. Location: Albuquerque, NM · http://favstar.fm/users/IGotsSmarts/recent 4,366 tweets. 796 following. 9,349 followers.

I don't even care whether I care anymore.

3 January 2012 Verifried Drunk @VerifiedDrunk [^163.121] https://twitter.com/#!/VerifiedDrunk/status/154339180363780097 Bio and stats on 20 March 2013: The later the tweet, the drunker I am. Location: Drunk Tank · http://favstar.fm/users/VerifiedDrunk/recent \- 11,980 tweets. 1,507 following. 36,134 followers.

I go back and forth on swingsets.

27 September 2012 Andy Glib @redherringbear [^163.122] https://twitter.com/redherringbear/status/251524646594301953 His bio and stats on 14 December 2012: Word salad spinner. I mangle syntax so you don't have to. 18+ please. Location: Oregon · http://favstar.fm/users/redherringbear/ - 8,747 tweets. 2,036 following. 2,383 followers.

The opposite of maybe is maybe.

11 May 2012 Eminence Front @tweetcomedian [^163.123] https://twitter.com/#!/tweetcomedian/status/201173404773122049 His bio and stats on 7 March 2013: I have stagefright and a bottle of scotch. Location: stuck in the intergoogles · http://favstar.fm/users/tweetcomedian - 5,906 tweets. 2,599 following. 3,588 followers.

Whatever, apathetic people.

5 August 2012 I Hate Kate ‏@kirbys4losers - https://twitter.com/kirbys4losers/status/231902298429853696 - @kirbys4losers found as ‏@SuperApple8 [^163.124] on 29 October 2012. On 23 April 2013 no Twitter account found for either @kirbys4losers or ‏@SuperApple8. Twitter bio and stats for @SuperApple8 on 19 February 2013: Life is like a box of chocolate. I hate chocolate. favstar.fm/users/SuperApple8 - 6,051 tweets. 1,661 following. 8,354 followers.

Those who never cry are just as broken as those who never laugh

15 January 2012 Tatyana ‏@Tat6277 [^163.125] https://twitter.com/Tat6277/status/158636031472705537 Her bio and stats on 8 December 2012: ₪ ø lll ·o. Location: Beirut · http://tatyanasl.tumblr.com/ - 8,191 tweets. 602 following. 3,221 followers.

Women cry an average of 30 to 64 times a year, men cry an average of 6 times a year.

29 August 2013 UberFacts ‏@UberFacts [^163.126] https://twitter.com/UberFacts/status/373041610772451328 Twitter bio: The most unimportant things you'll never need to know. Location: Worldwide! · uber-facts.com. 41,563 tweets. 3 following. 4,929,797 followers.

Crying is good for your health - Flushing unhealthy bacteria out of your body, strengthening the immune system and relieving stress.

29 August 2013 UberFacts ‏@UberFacts [^163.127] https://twitter.com/UberFacts/status/372996317553102849 Twitter bio: The most unimportant things you'll never need to know. Location: Worldwide! · uber-facts.com. 41,563 tweets. 3 following. 4,929,797 followers.

I cry at Tupperware parties.

3 September 2012 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^163.128] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/242857605389758464 His bio and stats on 13 November 2012: i was born 'n stuff. Location: Hanging out in my garage. http://favstar.fm/users/RobotThomas - 33,147 tweets. 6,053 following. 5,597 followers.

So many great videos from my sister's party.

It looked like so much fun!

But happiness is the greatest hiding place for despair.

29 August 2013 KimKierkegaardashian ‏@KimKierkegaard [^163.129] https://twitter.com/KimKierkegaard/status/373307905610502144 Bio and stats on 30 August 2013: The philosophy of Søren Kierkegaard mashed with the tweets and observations of Kim Kardashian. 249 tweets. 2 following. 109,800 followers. Parody account.

So this is basically life, yeah? Just this, and it slowly gets worse and worse? Cool

16 September 2013 donni ‏@donni [^163.130] https://twitter.com/donni/status/379514167884918784 Bio: I'm Donni Saphire. So what? Comedysayer. Available to do your thing. Joke packet submitter. Second City baby. Also TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com ). Cuddly. Location: Chicago city limits · favstar.fm/users/donni/recent - 10,892 tweets. 904 following. 33,952 followers.

Then:

On the other hand, think of all the cookies we have yet to eat

16 September 2013 donni ‏@donni [^163.131] https://twitter.com/donni/status/379534328817922048 Bio: I'm Donni Saphire. So what? Comedysayer. Available to do your thing. Joke packet submitter. Second City baby. Also TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com ). Cuddly. Location: Chicago city limits · favstar.fm/users/donni/recent - 10,892 tweets. 904 following. 33,952 followers.

The song of madness

Strangled words burning paper

Ashes in the wind.

# **haiku**

25 January 2014 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^163.132] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/426984703610990592 Bio: i was born 'n stuff. Location: Hanging out in my garage. · favstar.fm/users/RobotThomas - 59,457 tweets. 8,691 following. 8,308 followers.

Life is just a bitter break from eternal nothingness.

Totally psyched about this pancake breakfast.

But after that, sorrow.

11 November 2012 Craig S. ‏@YUCKYBOT [^163.133] https://twitter.com/YUCKYBOT/status/267624565583261696 His bio and stats on 18 November 2012: McGriddle Enthusiast,Once Was Forced To Sit Through 'CATS' With Poopy Underwear. RESPECT THIS PINK TOWEL!*BEEP BOOP* Location: Norwich, CT · http://pinktowels.tumblr.com/ - 16,016 tweets. 675 following. 25,252 followers. His display photo showed him with a pink towel draped over his head.

no, YOU'RE waffling between hope and apathy on a daily basis

30 July 2012 Aparna Nancherla ‏@aparnapkin [^163.134] https://twitter.com/aparnapkin/status/230086292921282560 Her bio and stats on 21 November 2012: I am a scrunched up napkin with recyclable dreams. Also a comedian in some cultures. Total drag in others. Location: NY/LA sidewalk nook · http://www.aparnacomedy.com - 3,816 tweets. 1,381 following. 17,864 followers.

the only emotions i experience are "sad" and "dancing"

3 July 2012 Amber Eeeeeee ‏@rare_basement [^163.135] https://twitter.com/rare_basement/status/220267439856943104 Her bio and stats on 12 January 2013: creator of NOTHING, writer at NOWHERE. Location: New Orleans · http://favstar.fm/users/rare_basement - 59,473 tweets. 2,529 following. 26,187 followers.

If you're happy and you know it, it won't last.

3 January 2012 Jamie Capria @MrFornicator [^163.136] https://twitter.com/#!/MrFornicator/status/154304254495031296 His bio and stats on 25 January 2013: Comedian/Writer and founder of Comedians For Cancer. The average person laughs 15 times a day... that's not nearly enough. http://ComediansForCancer.com Location: Syracuse, New York · favstar.fm/users/MrFornicator - 4,342 tweets. 5,350 following. 51,213 followers.

HAPPINESS!

EXPECT DELAYS.

17 July 2013 Dana Gould @DanaJGould [^163.137] https://twitter.com/DanaJGould/status/357683718246252544 His Twitter bio and stats on 2 August 2013: Comedian, writer, as heard on The Dana Gould Hour podcast. Location: Los Angeles, CA · danagould.com - 1,749 tweets. 167 following. 139,700 followers.

I'm gonna make a voodoo doll of myself and make it so happy.

5 September 2012 Niki ‏@NikiWithIssues [^163.138] https://twitter.com/NikiWithIssues/status/243385785632571393 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: I'm super lazy. Which is like normal lazy but I'm also wearing a cape. Location: The Shire · http://favstar.fm/users/NikiWithIssues - 6,027 tweets. 811 following. 35,838 followers.

I know. I worry me too.

18 August 2012 I Hate Kate ‏@kirbys4losers - https://twitter.com/kirbys4losers/status/236970745908039680 - @kirbys4losers found as ‏@SuperApple8 [^163.139] on 29 October 2012. On 23 April 2013 no Twitter account found for either @kirbys4losers or ‏@SuperApple8. Twitter bio and stats for @SuperApple8 on 19 February 2013: Life is like a box of chocolate. I hate chocolate. favstar.fm/users/SuperApple8 - 6,051 tweets. 1,661 following. 8,354 followers.

beneath every happiness i have planted a time bomb.

9 June 2012 snarkarella ‏@snarkarella [^163.140] https://twitter.com/snarkarella/status/211384502289833984 Her bio and stats on 17 December 2012: i like snacking on ice cubes. 3,547 tweets. 389 following. 1,594 followers.

The only thing more depressing than other people's happiness is other people's enthusiasm.

12 September 2011 Kay Morgan @KayM77 [^163.141] https://twitter.com/#!/KayM77/status/113314090855837696 Her bio and stats on 14 March 2013: I'm on Twitter. 18,872 tweets. 248 following. 1,615 followers.

I double dare you to feel unimportant! GO!

8 October 2012 Pelsjas @elsaPelsjas [^163.142] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/255264494308175872 Her bio: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 8,033 tweets. 1,530 following. 1,179 followers.

your ego is your downfall.

31 March 2012 ghufran ‏@ghufranky [^163.143] https://twitter.com/#!/ghufranky/status/186011300499947520 Her bio and stats on 12 December 2012: still waiting on that jellyfish reincarnation. http://thisismylastcigarette.tumblr.com - 4,001 tweets. 197 following. 700 followers.

Life pro tip of the fucking day: Let your anger pent-up inside you so that it can fester quietly as a mental illness.

30 January 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^163.144] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/296888752335380480 Her bio and stats on 1 February 2013: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 12,366 tweets. 1,884 following. 1,930 followers.

I'm mad at myself so obviously I'll take it out on the people who love me the most.

23 October 2012 Silver Kick ‏@SilverKick [^163.145] https://twitter.com/SilverKick/status/260798967368011776 Bio: I'm evil. I'm a superhero. http://www.thesilverkickdiaries.com/p/about-me.html. Location: Strolling around your mind. · http://favstar.fm/users/SilverKick/recent - 24,940 tweets. 984 following. 3,603 followers.

There's a pretty good chance that the worst thing that's going to happen to you hasn't happened yet.

Have a good day.

27 June 2012 Kim ‏@Kimpulses [^163.146] https://twitter.com/Kimpulses/status/218020606086619137 Her bio and stats on 5 December 2012: I'm not a doctor, but I think there's something wrong with you. Location: Ontario, Canada · http://favstar.fm/users/Kimpulses - 6,991 tweets. 409 following. 5,621 followers.

If u ever feel like a loser just remember that sometimes a sloth will mistake its own arm for a treebranch, grab it, & fall to their death.

5 November 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^163.147] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/265702714640588802 Her bio and stats on 6 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 9,816 tweets. 1,963 following. 1,680 followers.

Thats you in the alley.

Thats you, avoiding the spot light,

hiding from the Po Po.

Trying to keep out of jail.

I do hope that you can do it.

19 July 2012 Laughing with Gordo ‏@Lisa_Laughs_ [^163.148] https://twitter.com/Lisa_Laughs_/status/225937110627143680 Her bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I shouted at the devil once. He cried and made me a chicken pot pie. Gordo Pie Osigat Token BBQ · http://favstar.fm/users/Lisa_Laughs_/recent - 57,977 tweets. 4,192 following. 18,790 followers.

Po Po = police.

Sometimes surviving is all you can do.

21 Jan 2014 Bill Naai™ ‏@ninja_drums [^163.149] https://twitter.com/ninja_drums/status/425621362346962945 Bio: The words might be free, but you'll pay. Location: hate city. 15,902 tweets. 315 following. 2,068 followers.

surviving isn't living.

21 December 2011 Ms Mayhem ‏@crassmama [^163.150] https://twitter.com/crassmama/status/149692707097415680 Her Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 20 June 2013: Meaghan Mayhem @crassmama - She's a dove, she's a fuckin' nightmare. writer. biter. lover. fighter. Location: Minnesootah. · favstar.fm/users/crassmama - 30,998 tweets. 1,854 following. 6,616 followers.

water getting harder to tread

7 November 2013 Albertus ‏@vyfdewiel [^163.151] https://twitter.com/vyfdewiel/status/398381001442750464 Bio and stats on 14 November 2013: a face you can trust. Location: South Africa. 43 tweets. 227 following. 77 followers.

she found her name but it doesn't make a sound.

22 May 2012 snarkarella ‏@snarkarella [^163.152] https://twitter.com/snarkarella/status/204913019015282688 Her bio and stats on 17 December 2012: i like snacking on ice cubes. 3,547 tweets. 389 following. 1,594 followers.

I don't trust anyone who hasn't been self-destructive in some way. And who hasn't gone through some sort of self-loathing. You've got to bang yourself around a bit to know yourself.

\- Johnny Depp

From Elsa Pelsjas @elsaPelsjas [^163.153] 5 September 2012 on her blog: https://pelsjas.wordpress.com/2012/09/05/6747/ Her Twitter bio and stats on 14 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,223 tweets. 1,918 following. 1,773 followers.

No verifiable Twitter account found on 31 August 2013 for Johnny Depp [^163.154].

Life teaches you the same lesson again and again until you learn it!

15 May 2013 Fariha Akhtar ‏@farihaak [^163.155] https://twitter.com/farihaak/status/334602881871265792 Her bio: A dreamer and to some extent a doer as well who does software engineering for bread and butter. In one word: Humanist =) Location: Somewhere in God's World :) · farihaakhtar.blogsome.com - 9,994 tweets. 966 following. 2,975 followers.

There has to be a harder way to learn that lesson and I will not stop until I find it.

30 March 2014 MentalAbortions ‏@MentalAbortions [^163.156] https://twitter.com/MentalAbortions/status/450419842625986561 His Twitter bio and stats on 7 April 2014: Fuck no. http://favstar.fm/users/MentalAbortions - 31,198 tweets. 431 following. 8,298 followers.

Life's a funny game. You really never know the rules until you break them.

6 October 2010 Butterfingers @tackie_jackie [^163.157] https://twitter.com/#!/tackie_jackie/status/26615833735 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: Took a weird-ass turn and ended up here. 8,854 tweets. 776 following. 9,369 followers.

Life. All at once you can lose every fucking thing that ever meant anything.

26 November 2013 Justina ‏@JEllis1313 [^163.158] https://twitter.com/JEllis1313/status/405557080276619264 Bio and stats on 8 March 2014: All dressed up with some medicine for luck. BlackRock. Location: 'Cuse, NY · http://favstar.fm/users/JEllis1313 - 40,919 tweets. 3,359 following. 3,580 followers.

The lowest point of my life is right about now.

This is a good thing, right?

7 November 2012 Pimple Eye ‏@PimpleEye - https://twitter.com/PimpleEye/status/266122216587005952 Bio: I used to have a pimple, now I don't. Location: Under The Westgate. Melbourne · http://favstar.fm/users/PimpleEye/recent - 28,397 tweets. 852 following. 7,766 followers. ‏Became Fuzzy Pimple @FuzzyPimple [^163.159] in early December 2012.

I feel empty. Where can I get a refill?

15 June 2012 Noor Shamma ‏@NoorShamma [^163.160] https://twitter.com/noorshamma/status/213656785918234624 Her bio and stats on 13 February 2013: I don't cry. No one's worth my boogers. http://noorshamma.tumblr.com [Instagram: noorshamma] Location: Not Found · favstar.fm/users/NoorShamma - 4,775 tweets. 785 following. 5,324 followers. "Not found" are her words in her profile.

When all else fails, start the fuck over.

5 February 2012 Classy Cassy ‏@Classy_Cassy89 [^163.161] https://twitter.com/Classy_Cassy89/status/166288145485271040 Her bio and stats on 28 October 2012: Life and times of a 40 year old single woman with a cat...got a dog too. 38,329 tweets. 8,185 following. 11,620 followers.

**Bellow:** " **You can spend the entire second half of your life recovering from the mistakes of the first half**." [Link]

18 October 2013 midtowngirl ‏@_Midtowngirl [^163.162] https://twitter.com/_Midtowngirl/status/391390663859646464 Her Twitter bio and stats on 18 October 2013: Investment Banking.100% Nerd.@CalhounSchool & @Columbia alum. Native NY'er (Born & Raised on Upper West Side) with cynical outlook on life only true NYers have. Location: Midtown, Manhattan. 15,614 tweets. 288 following. 647 followers.

The link in the above tweet points to:

"Old Jewish Men Have Valuable Advice for Miley Cyrus," by Jeffrey Goldberg, Bloomberg View, 17 October 2013, http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-10-17/old-jewish-men-have-valuable-advice-for-miley-cyrus.html

Saul Bellow [^163.163] born Solomon Bellows, 10 June 1915 – 5 April 2005. Bellow was a Canadian-born American writer. He is quoted in the tweet above.

Jeffrey Goldberg @JeffreyGoldberg [^163.164] Twitter bio and stats on 18 October 2013: Columnist, Bloomberg View: http://www.bloomberg.com/view/bios/jeffrey-goldberg/... National Correspondent, The Atlantic. Location: Washington, D.C. 14,602 tweets. 979 following. 44,538 followers.

Bloomberg View @BloombergView [^163.165] Twitter bio and stats on 18 October 2013: Opinions on everything from the editors, columnists and contributors of Bloomberg View. This feed is monitored and curated by @kirstensalyer. Location: New York · bloomberg.com/view - 14,547 tweets. 452 following. 35,525 followers.

It's ok. I still have some time left in my life to try to learn how to be a better person.

That's all there is, right?

18 August 2012 skullcat ‏@skullcat [^163.166] https://twitter.com/skullcat/status/237068807519219712 Her bio and stats on 13 January 2013, when her most recent tweet was dated 14 October 2012: Using sarcasm as a natural defense against companionship, and alcohol as artificial protection from sobriety. Mom to teen, designer to graphics. Location: Vancouver · http://favstar.fm/users/skullcat - 29,183 tweets. 6,736 following. 8,289 followers.

Every day we are faced with decisions that reaffirm or challenge our intention to act humanely and kindly. We daily decide who we are.

21 September 2013 stacia l. brown ‏@slb79 [^163.167] https://twitter.com/slb79/status/381413822713823232 Her bio: stacia writes and advocates for minority single mothers. founder of Beyond Baby Mamas (@beyondbabymamas). community engagement fellow at @colorlines. Location: the great divide. · stacialbrown.com. 58,934 tweets. 2,107 following. 2,355 followers.

"You're under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago."

1 August 2013 T a z e e n ‏@tazeen [^163.168] https://twitter.com/tazeen/status/363056730965413888 Twitter bio: I am the girl with a smartphone that is often smarter than I am. RTs ARE endorsements http://tazeen.net/ - facebook.com/TazeensBlog - 15,414 tweets. 353 following. 16,404 followers.

Are you living the life you want?

If not now, when?

Are you leaving a positive impact in the world?

If not you, who?

12 November 2013 Sami Mäkeläinen ‏@smakelainen [^163.169] https://twitter.com/smakelainen/status/400215282309799936 Bio: Mobile, sustainability & innovation specialist by day, generalist at heart. I think it'd be nice to leave a planet worth living in for those who come after us. Location: Melbourne, Australia · linkedin.com/in/smakelainen - 6,735 tweets. 498 following. 492 followers.

Amazing the capacity of one person who's simply decided to do good.

9 October 2012 Rameeza Nizami ‏@RameezaNizami [^163.170] https://twitter.com/RameezaNizami/status/255671667945263104 Her bio and stats on 12 November 2012: Unauthorized, unofficial, etc etc. This isn't even me, really. Location: In an office, most of the time. 5,010 tweets. 890 following. 3,331 followers.

Tribute to 15 year-old Malala Yousafzai, who was shot in the head and neck that day on her way home from school, after defying the Taliban's ban on education for girls in the Swat Valley, Pakistan.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  164. Enantiodromia

An enantiodromia is a shift from one extreme to another on the same continuum. The more extreme a position, the more likely we are to see an enantiodromia.

Paraphrase of a statement found in: Change: Principles of Problem Formation and Problem Resolution by Paul Watzlawick, John H. Weakland, Richard Fisch, 1974. Draws on Principia Mathematica by Alfred North Whitehead and Bertrand Russell, published in three volumes in 1910, 1912 and 1913.

Here we move away from negativity.

Regeneration.

22 October 2012 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^164.1] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/260557066224144384

Bio: i was born 'n stuff. Location: Hanging out in my garage. http://favstar.fm/users/RobotThomas - 31,291 tweets. 5,547 following. 5,169 followers.

Down with the spiral.

14 October 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^164.2] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/389840501437763584 Twitter bio and stats on 30 December 2013 for this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 17,120 tweets. 729 following. 28,655 followers.

Dreams Reloaded

23 April 2012 Melissa Marrs ‏@ImaAngryBitch \- https://twitter.com/ImaAngryBitch/status/194607066990653441 Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats for the account the tweet resolved to on 11 July 2013: Scott McGrew @iNusku3 - recovering narcissist. Location: Lubbock, TX · nusku.tumblr.com - 671 tweets. 198 following. 407 followers. From @iNusku3 on 17 June 2013 he tweeted: I'm moving from this account to @iNusku just to be confusing. [https://twitter.com/iNusku3/status/346732196075290624]. Twitter bio and stats on 11 July 2013 for: Scott McGrew @iNusku [^164.3] World Dishwasher Tetris Champion '96. Location: Lubbock, TX. 111 tweets. 502 following. 556 followers.

Scott McGrew plays on the name of the 2003 movie Matrix Reloaded.

'Under Construction' - am rebuilding self.

23 November 2013 Anja Drisch ‏@anjadrisch [^164.4] https://twitter.com/anjadrisch/status/404440647144189952 Her Twitter bio and stats on 26 November 2013: Stray and lost dogs are most welcome. Everyone else, strictly by appointment – Melbourne. Location: Australia. 1,403 tweets. 6,287 following. 6,516 followers.

Whats the key point which revives an entreprenuer to try again after a huge failure?

#GFEweekPK #Karachi #GFEweek

5 October 2013 Talha ‏@TalhaaImam [^164.5] https://twitter.com/TalhaaImam/status/386460936082837504 Twitter bio: A realist, a young entrepreneur & an undergrad(bscs). Karachi · adevelopersdiary.com. 2,494 tweets. 86 following. 104 followers.

The hashtag refers to Google For Entreprenuers Week, organized by Badar Khushnood @badar76 [^164.6]. Badar's Twitter bio and stats on 5 October 2013: #Google #Pakistan Country Consultant; tweets r *personal* thoughts, recollections & opinions; retweets ≠ endorsements! #AntiWar #StopDrones. Location: Lahore, Pakistan · bit.ly/badar. 1,251 tweets. 1,887 following. 8,960 followers.

" **Focus on what you have and not on what you have lost**."

@rebootdude #GFEweekPK #Khi

5 October 2013 P@SHA ‏@PASHAORG [^164.7] https://twitter.com/PASHAORG/status/386461887736459264 Bio: Believe in the sorcery that is technology. Pakistan Software Houses Association - Pakistan's sole trade body representing the IT & IT Enabled Services sector. Pakistan · pasha.org.pk. 3,158 tweets. 120 following. 866 followers.

The author of the above quote is Jawwad Farid @rebootdude [^164.8] Twitter bio and stats on 5 October 2013: Actuary by profession, Computer Scientist by training, MBA by accident, Failure by choice. Location: Karachi, Pakistan · FinanceTrainingCourse.com. 2,009 tweets. 248 following. 618 followers.

The @PASHAORG tweet is by Jehan Ara @jehan_ara [^164.9] Her Twitter bio and stats on 5 October 2013: President of the Pakistan Software Houses Association for IT & ITES (P@SHA). Activist for Internet freedom, Human rights, VAW & Privacy. President of Bolo Bhi. Location: Karachi · jehanara.wordpress.com. 45,157 tweets. 1,126 following. 15,127 followers.

I really like what you've done with your debacle.

17 February 2014 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^164.10] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/435669893237571584 Bio: i was born 'n stuff. Location: Hanging out in my garage. · http://favstar.fm/users/RobotThomas - 60,288 tweets. 8,696 following. 8,378 followers.

I bought some bulk items. Things are looking up.

8 February 2013 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^164.11] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/300129685814255617 His bio and stats on 27 February 2013: I tweet so you don't have to. https://soundcloud.com/nerdamage-1/05hund4m463 - 16,272 tweets. 3,373 following. 11,597 followers.

Each time I am at a low ebb, someone says or does something that renews my faith in the human race

22 September 2008 jehan_ara ‏@jehan_ara [^164.12] https://twitter.com/jehan_ara/statuses/930381061 Twitter bio and stats on 5 October 2013: President of the Pakistan Software Houses Association for IT & ITES (P@SHA). Activist for Internet freedom, Human rights, VAW & Privacy. President of Bolo Bhi. Location: Karachi · jehanara.wordpress.com. 45,157 tweets. 1,126 following. 15,127 followers.

Her first tweet.

You can comfort a genuinely sad person but not the one who's feigning it.

14 July 2013 A.J. ‏@warpedinxs [^164.13] https://twitter.com/warpedinxs/status/356665580096471040 His Twitter bio and stats on 15 July 2013: I am a punter.You want to see my pun? Location: Bangalore,India · favstar.fm/users/warpedinxs \- 7,368 tweets. 285 following. 1,773 followers.

The secret is to fly, even in a cage.

13 November 2012 Gwen Calvo ‏@gwencalvo [^164.14] https://twitter.com/gwencalvo/status/268751750608064512 Location: Colombia. Stats on 14 November 2012: 27,975 tweets. 128 following. 2,271 followers.

THIS ISLAND MUST BE CONTRASTED WITH THE BLEAK WAVES.

14 June 2013 BLAST ‏@BLAST_Manifesto [^164.15] https://twitter.com/BLAST_Manifesto/status/345694148550074369 Bio: WE BELIEVE IN THE EXISTENCE OF THIS USEFUL LITTLE CHEMIST IN OUR MIDST. Location: London · https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blast_%28magazine%29 - 81 tweets. 0 following. 78 followers.

BLAST magazine was published in England in 1914 and 1915. It was edited by Wyndham Lewis (1882-1957). 'THIS ISLAND' refers to Britain. Later in 1915, Wyndham Lewis was sent off to the Western Front, where he served as an artillery spotter and then as a war artist.

Excuse me, sir.

Your Zeitgeist has arrived.

16 December 2013 Nein. ‏@NeinQuarterly [^164.16] https://twitter.com/NeinQuarterly/status/412765407205146624 Twitter bio and stats on 24 December 2013: Nein. A Compendium of Utopian Negation. Ed: Eric Jarosinski. All views solely reflect NQ's cynical whimsy. http://neinquarterly.com - neinquarterly@gmail.com – Location: Philly. New York. Despair. · favstar.fm/users/NeinQuarterly - 28,585 tweets. 4,994 following. 47,301 followers.

Zeitgeist is the spirit, mood or general attitude of a time or generation, as expressed in literature, culture, philosophy and discourse.

• • • • •

One of the shortcomings of microblogging is the difficulty of participating in deep discussions or even observing them. Discussions can occur across multiple platforms, over long periods of time, and between individuals whose knowledge of each other begins and ends with the tiniest of exchanges. Countless great truths are swallowed up and lost. Here is an example of a cross-platform exchange:

Only depressives and manic-depressives in the depths of depression have a realistic view of the world and their place in it.

18 September 2009 Dr. Yoshev Omed @tinydoctor [^164.17] https://identi.ca/notice/10304572 His bio on https://identi.ca/tinydoctor on 26 March 2013: Dr. Yoshev Omed @tinydoctor. Location: The Land of Fred. http://doctoromed.wordpress.com/ - I'm a Pentecostal Atheist putting on a tent show revival speaking in tongues & witnessing to the Word of not god but the Mammon of meaning. Following 83. Followers 114. Groups 12. Statistics: user ID 17298. Member since 24 July 2008. Notices 3423. Daily average 2. On 26 March 2013 his most recent dent was dated 17 November 2011. He maintained the same ID on Twitter.

A response, two years later:

Depression is a great teacher. Depressed people often develop insight into behavior from experience. Many "geniuses" were/are depressed.

9 October 2011 Vidyut @Vidyut [^164.18] https://twitter.com/#!/Vidyut/status/123009325890408449 Her Twitter bio and stats on 20 July 2013: Caution: Highly infectious ideas. Disclaimer: I am no expert. You are solely responsible for ideas you adopt. Note: Reading my tweets is consent to be offended. Location: Mumbai · aamjanata.com - 148,499 tweets. 107 following. 9,223 followers. Bio and stats on 11 February 2014: Never mind the profile. Beware of the tweets. Location: Mumbai · aamjanata.com – 178,556 tweets. 113 following. 13,484 followers.

Tweeted by Vidyut upon reading Tinydoctor's dent after it was redented that day. Redenting pushed it over Identi.ca's bridge into Twitter, where Vidyut found it.

@tinydoctor replies:

@aem76us @Vidyut **Not that having a realistic view necessarily confers advantage. Some of us just can't help it.**

9 October 2011 tinydoctor @tinydoctor [^164.19] https://twitter.com/#!/tinydoctor/status/123017617232510976 His Twitter bio and stats on 28 March 2013: I'm a Pentecostal Atheist putting on a tent show revival, speaking in tongues and witnessing to the Word of not god but the Mammon of my counterfeits of meaning. Location: Frederick, Maryland · http://doctoromed.wordpress.com - 6,741 tweets. 277 following. 276 followers. He maintained the same ID on Identi.ca.

• • • • •

Just got back from my doctors.

It turns out I don't have depression after all.

It's just that the world genuinely is an awful place to live

18 January 2012 Miss Anthro Pissed @MrsSelfDestrukt [^164.20] https://twitter.com/#!/MrsSelfDestrukt/status/159612310539878400 Her Twitter bio and stats on 21 November 2013: Sweary lutraphile and atheist. Horror fan. Puggalo. I drink to make you look attractive. Metal up your ass! Location: Camp Kill Yourself · http://twitpic.com/photos/MrsSelfdestrukt - 113,920 tweets. 596 following. 13,272 followers.

Only dumb people are happy.

1 April 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^164.21] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/318745848928411648 Her bio and stats on 2 April 2013: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 14,407 tweets. 2,079 following. 2,104 followers.

happiness is maybe too boring for you.

13 July 2013 sweet p ‏@preawsaurus [^164.22] https://twitter.com/preawsaurus/status/356274344768438273 Her bio: no, thanks. Location: Tellus. 14,575 tweets. 812 following. 9,476 followers.

It IS possible to be happy AND a pessimist. It's called being a realist.

30 March 2012 Master Shake ‏@ExcuseMyTweets [^164.23] https://twitter.com/ExcuseMyTweets/status/185840393613619200 Her bio and follower count on 4 June 2012: I'm an oxymoron of empathy and cynicism. Human rights pacifist. Oh, and inappropriate jokes are sort of my thing. 3,849 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 21 November 2013: I dislike most things. IG:SomeoneStopHer - 37,982 tweets. 2,196 following. 5,620 followers.

I'm not a pessimist, I'm just a man in the no.

19 September 2012 Lewcifer ‏@LewEvil [^164.24] https://twitter.com/LewEvil/status/248367851361157120 His bio and stats the next day: Strange. Volatile. Sardonic. Location: Joburg, South Africa. 11,815 tweets. 552 following. 1,831 followers.

Oddly enough, I'm at my happiest when I'm dead inside.

17 May 2012 Miss Fuckalicious ‏@PyrBliss [^164.25] https://twitter.com/#!/PyrBliss/status/203078713460531200 Her bio and stats on 7 November 2012: Swearing on Twitter is my anti-drug. Come for the cuteness, stay for the rage. I say FUCK! a lot. Location: In your pocket · http://favstar.fm/users/PyrBliss - 2,916 tweets. 838 following. 26,747 followers.

Reply:

@PyrBliss **me too. It is because we love too hard**

17 May 2012 Pauly Miller ‏@PaulyMortadella [^164.26] https://twitter.com/#!/PaulyMortadella/status/203079391885017088 No Twitter account found with this ID on 18 March 2013.

When all else fails there is always delusion

14 October 2012 Alisha ‏@lishybee [^164.27] https://twitter.com/lishybee/status/257616473307111424 Her bio and stats on 18 October 2012: Angel to most, but a devil in disguise. Location: Ontario, Canada http://favstar.fm/users/lishybee/recent - 7,260 tweets. 1,067 following. 2,071 followers.

The farther you get from the truth, the better the view is.

4 January 2012 SlappNuttz @SlappNuttz [^164.28] https://twitter.com/#!/SlappNuttz/status/154778802227134464 Twitter bio and stats on 16 July 2013: RIP SlappNuttz -- Just making sure no asshat takes this username and uses it for good. 0 tweets. 0 following. 1 follower.

I don't suffer from insanity, I actually enjoy it.

30 January 2012 Sugar☠Magnolia ‏@Not_Zombie_Prey [^164.29] https://twitter.com/Not_Zombie_Prey/status/164173970722127872 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Get the fuck over yourself. Location: ☣state of confusion☣ · http://favstar.fm/users/Not_Zombie_Prey/recent - 25,215 tweets. 6,915 following. 10,902 followers.

Lady just asked me "Are u insane?" Best compliment I've received all day. Then I held a conversation with myself about how much I liked it.

22 July 2012 Ɲicolє ☀ ‏@mochanya [^164.30] https://twitter.com/mochanya/status/227101977073557504 Bio and stats 11 August 2012: Ɲiƈơ└Ɛ ►(Mocнa or Nyα)◄|| ΛЯTIST ||CЯΞΛTΟЯ || DΛNCΞR || POΞT || Tнis is тhє locαtion wнere I sнare i∂єαs αвouт ℓ♥υƐ, ♫ ♪, liғe, & тєcниology! тнaиĸs 4 яeα∂iиg! Location: In Time-Out ☇ @ Twitter Rehab. 11,537 tweets. 2,697 following. 2,526 followers.

Must be boring not being crazy

15 February 2013 donni ‏@donni [^164.31] https://twitter.com/donni/status/302673441578942464 Bio: AKA Donni Saphire. Joke sayer, sketch writer, butt dancer. I'll do your showcase for free! More at TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com ) Stealing babies is wrong. Location: Chicago but restless · favstar.fm/users/donni/recent - 9,979 tweets. 895 following. 27,768 followers.

Crazy people do what boring people fantasize.

18 November 2012 Verified Bakchod ‏@VerifiedBakchod [^164.32] https://twitter.com/VerifiedBakchod/status/270251808247660545 Bio: I thought to write something here but then changed my mind and left this space blank.. Location: Left this space blank too... · http://favstar.fm/users/VerifiedBakchod - 4,673 tweets. 1,074 following. 2,061 followers.

People be cray.

28 December 2012 Rameeza Nizami ‏@RameezaNizami [^164.33] https://twitter.com/RameezaNizami/status/284568706078633984 Her bio: Unauthorized, unofficial, etc etc. This isn't even me, really. Location: In an office, most of the time. 5,172 tweets, 912 following. 3,971 followers.

Cray is slang for crazy.

Reply:

@RameezaNizami **tots cray, cray!**

28 December 2012 hiranajam ‏@hiranajam [^164.34] https://twitter.com/hiranajam/status/284570064496250880 Her bio and stats on 28 December 2012: food/reading/writing/cooking/photography/music/internet junkie/ Creative Editor for http://www.Carbonated.TV /part time philosopher & food blogger / I balance. Location: karachi · https://desigourmand.wordpress.com/ - 39,057 tweets. 132 following. 1,985 followers. The comma is superfluous above.

tots is a slang term for totally. It is pronounced and sometimes spelled as "totes." At the time, both tots and cray had become trendy enough to provoke a backlash.

She said, "That's so cray!" and just like that, she was paying for her own drinks.

5 November 2012 Andrew Gutin ‏@andrewgutin [^164.35] https://twitter.com/andrewgutin/status/265594541141274624 Bio and stats on 2 January 2013: I tweet the funny. http://favstar.fm/users/andrewgutin Location: Los Angeles, CA. 12,666 tweets. 359 following. 540 followers.

Relax, we're all crazy. It's not a competition.

8 July 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^164.36] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/222191934792413184 His bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,477 tweets. 3,154 following. 9,233 followers.

"There is no such thing as normal," Paul D. Taylor said. "If you've ever had first year statistics, you know that 'normal' is just a line within a much wider population." Then he described how he always seems to have a song playing inside his head, in common with many other people.

"My neuroses are part of my charm" is something I like to tell myself.

5 October 2013 Renee ‏@nayele18 [^164.37] https://twitter.com/nayele18/status/386534665160757248 Her bio: I don't play well with others. Location: shopping, probably · favstar.fm/users/nayele18 - 11,322 tweets. 640 following. 7,639 followers.

"Vaguely optimistic for no apparent reason" is my motto

31 May 2013 donni ‏@donni [^164.38] https://twitter.com/donni/status/340600465001684992 His bio and stats on 1 June 2013: https://twitter.com/donni/status/341043860815900673 I'm Donni Saphire and I approved this beverage. Writer of joke sentences. Open mic lingerer. Comfy. More at TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com ) Still not a cop. Location: Chicago city limits · favstar.fm/users/donni/recent - 10,032 tweets. 898 following. 30,930 followers.

Sometimes a beautiful day is all you have to work with.

19 October 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^164.39] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/259358618573484032 His bio and stats the next day: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,814 tweets. 3,101 following. 9,463 followers.

Sometimes good news is disguised as bad news simply because it thinks it's still Halloween. Don't surrender to it. Trick or treat!

24 June 2011 sara @yzupp [^164.40] https://twitter.com/#!/yzupp/status/84352694512386048 Her bio and stats on 28 March 2013: Spent two hours coming up with this bio. It's the best work I've done all week. Location: definitely not here. 852 tweets. 661 following. 4,592 followers. Her most recent tweet on 28 March 2013 was dated 20 April 2012.

Bad things happen to good people, so I'm pretty sure we're all safe

30 May 2012 Mrs. Me ‏@FierceMess [^164.41] https://twitter.com/FierceMess/status/207875179920101376 Her screen name, bio and stats on 9 March 2013: Somethin Fierce @FierceMess [^] - You'll find me on Instagram more than you will here... fierce_j http://favstar.fm/users/FierceMess/recent - 22,464 tweets. 2,683 following. 7,853 followers.

Everything happens for a reason?

No.

Everything happens and you deal with it.

26 March 2012 Clarke Kant @clarkekant [^164.42] https://twitter.com/#!/clarkekant/status/184512080056041473 Bio and stats on 18 November 2012: I'm all for saving the world, just not necessarily the people. Now available on http://Witstream.com ! Location: America-ish · http://favstar.fm/users/clarkekant - 9,997 tweets. 776 following. 29,442 followers.

Everything happens for a reason.

Make sure the reason isn't "because you're an idiot".

13 June 2012 Suiz Uzcategui ‏@Suiz [^164.43] https://twitter.com/Suiz/status/212999966153641984 In Quito with 1,832 followers. Bio and stats on 9 March 2013: The avi guy. So you want an avi? See here http://suiz.tumblr.com/avi Married to one @ManuCorderoCu. She was warned not to. Location: Quito · http://www.etsy.com/listing/75307040/custom-digitally-painted-avatar \- 8,624 tweets. 1,319 following. 1,697 followers.

One of the biggest reasons people try to fuck with you is because they think they can.

11 November 2011 PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz \- https://twitter.com/#!/llvvzz/status/135250099747045376 Her bio and stats on 20 December 2012: I am not your perception of me. I control your perception of me. http://facebook.com/llvvzzz @llvvzzz for #FF Check out Tweet~Mates! at http://llvvzz.com - I Own A Chihuahua · http://favstar.fm/users/llvvzz - 1,985 tweets. 83,157 following. 83,737 followers. Indexed under her alternate ID: @lvvzz [^164.44].

1. Do nothing

2. Expect good things to happen

3. Get upset when they don't

4. Repeat

15 April 2014 Artur ‏@Bagyants [^164.45] https://twitter.com/Bagyants/status/456248310156644352 Bio and stats on 17 April 2014: I didn't make it as a police officer because whenever someone asked for backup I would just sing softly. Location: Kansas · favstar.fm/users/bagyants - 346 tweets. 269 following. 9,692 followers.

Everything does not happen for a reason.

There is no great plan.

This is not the best of all possible worlds.

Leibniz was a fool.

8 December 2013 farghal ‏@farghal [^164.46] https://twitter.com/farghal/status/409661006885834752 Bio and stats on 9 December 2013: Cairo, Egypt. 13,057 tweets. 1,231 following. 699 followers.

I do not believe in a caring, planned out universe. Karma does not exist.

8 December 2013 farghal ‏@farghal [^164.47] https://twitter.com/farghal/status/409660436611489792 Bio and stats on 9 December 2013: Cairo, Egypt. 13,057 tweets. 1,231 following. 699 followers.

So when did you turn 'pro' with being a professional victim? Is there a certificate, a medal, some sort of ceremony?

25 June 2012 FrauFickenDammt ‏@FrauFickenDammt [^164.48] https://twitter.com/FrauFickenDammt/status/217440985976811521 Her bio and stats on 25 February 2013: TEUTONIC TWAT. Location: Frau and Loathing in Las Vegas · favstar.fm/users/FrauFickenDammt - 40,593 tweets. 3,497 following. 12,458 followers.

I can feel your story sucking the life out of me

28 June 2013 Brett Ryland ‏@brettryland [^164.49] https://twitter.com/brettryland/status/350808791752785920 Twitter bio and stats on 1 July 2013: Actor, Writer: 2 Broke Girls, UCB. Location: Los Angeles · favstar.fm/users/brettryland - 2,332 tweets. 354 following. 6,503 followers.

As my therapist said to me, self-loathing is just another form of arrogance.

20 October 2011 Sherman Alexie @Sherman_Alexie [^164.50] https://twitter.com/#!/Sherman_Alexie/status/127014204745064448 His bio and stats on 9 March 2013: Sherman is the National Book Award winning author of, The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian and most recently, Blasphemy, New and Selected Stories. http://fallsapart.com - 1,237 tweets. 40 following. 37,154 followers.

Your "healthy transformation" will never be complete until you stop advertising it on the internet.

15 May 2012 Mae ‏@mzeld [^164.51] https://twitter.com/#!/mzeld/status/202518511929663488 Her bio and stats on 12 November 2012: LET'S DO TWEETS OFF EACH OTHER'S BUTTS http://www.internet.com - 16,846 tweets. 698 following. 21,805 followers.

Don't think less of yourself, think of yourself less.

30 August 2012 Donna Tiso ‏@sweetg35 [^164.52] https://twitter.com/sweetg35/status/241410002416455680 Bio: I  my NY YANKEES! u boys rule! Also love animals & to enjoy life! Location: A NY State of Mind . 37,387 tweets 1,086 following. 1,105 followers. Bio and stats on 15 September 2014: Love the NY YANKEES! ⚾Also love animals & humor. (In a relationship) NY state of mind http://favstar.fm/users/sweetg35 - 350,563 tweets. 8,398 following. 29,302 followers. Underlining added.

*ignores self*

13 November 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^164.53] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/400680573980508160 Twitter bio and stats on 21 November 2013 of this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 16,371 tweets. 726 following. 27,435 followers.

Ashamed and bemused by our own fragility, we consistently underestimate how anxious everyone else is.

24 May 2010 Alain de Botton @alaindebotton [^164.54] http://twitter.com/alaindebotton/status/14616063500 His bio and stats on 15 January 2013: Writer; most recently of 'Religion for Atheists'. Location: London · http://tinyurl.com/chcbro9 - 555 tweets. 4,420 following. 308,786 followers.

Rembrandt considered his life's work a colossal failure.

3 April 2008 myrrh @myrrh [^164.55] on Twitter. Original URL lost. Twitter bio and stats on 6 June 2013: paraphrasing rauschenberg: this is a portrait of myrrh larsen if i say so. or, to quote emerson: "life consists in what a man is thinking of all day." Location: rosarius urbis. 14,543 tweets. 141 following. 717 followers.

Why doesn't life have a safe word?

12 December 2011 bee @dosesofneurosis [^164.56] https://twitter.com/#!/dosesofneurosis/status/146300412847325184 No account with this ID found on 7 April 2013.

The unwritten word is the new beginning.

29 August 2012 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^164.57] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/241051547184807936 His bio and stats on 13 November 2012: i was born 'n stuff. Location: Hanging out in my garage. http://favstar.fm/users/RobotThomas - 33,147 tweets. 6,053 following. 5,597 followers.

Humans are perhaps the only animals that struggle with their story.

29 March 2011 Ramla Akhtar @ramlas [^164.58] https://twitter.com/#!/ramlas/status/52820188604792834 No account with this ID found at the end of 2011.

women against sadness

5 January 2014 NYT Minus Context ‏@NYTMinusContext [^164.59] https://twitter.com/NYTMinusContext/status/420012365422530560 Bio and stats on 17 January 2014: All Tweets Verbatim From New York Times Content. Not Affiliated with New York Times. Follow @NYTPlusContext for context. NYTMinusContext@gmail.com - 1,244 tweets. 911 following. 10.854 followers.

The New York Times @nytimes [^164.60] Twitter bio and stats on 17 January 2014: Where the conversation begins. Follow for breaking news, special reports, http://NYTimes.com homepage links and RTs of our journalists. Location: New York City · nytimes.com -124,082 tweets. 854 following. 10,681,262 followers.

A cool disguise, but for your sadness

31 March 2013 donni ‏@donni [^164.61] https://twitter.com/donni/status/318553779542831104 His bio: Donni Saphire is my government name. At every open mic. Pitching monologue jokes. Writing a thing. More at TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com ) Still not a cop. Location: Chicago city limits · favstar.fm/users/donni/recent - 9,994 tweets. 897 following. 28,810 followers.

Emotional hurt is the price we must pay in order to be interesting.

10 July 2011 LC @evrythingmustgo [^164.62] https://twitter.com/#!/evrythingmustgo/status/90139436402229248 Account found with no bio on 15 June 2013, just these stats: 0 tweets. 1 following. 5 followers. His twittercide note was published as: "Confessions of a Tweeter," by Larry Carlat, The New York Times, 'Lives' section, 11 November 2011, https://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/13/magazine/confessions-of-a-tweeter.html

We are all made of scars.

3 January 2011 The Bosha ‏@TheBosha [^164.63] https://twitter.com/#!/TheBosha/status/22153906364612609 His bio and stats on 16 November 2012: Get off my lawn. Location: Near the Tannhäuser Gate · http://www.witstream.com/#jim_bosha - 13,149 tweets. 476 following. 11,858 followers.

Happiness should be more than the absence of pain.

11 January 2011 Larry Carlat @evrythingmustgo [^164.64] https://twitter.com/#!/evrythingmustgo/status/25099746527944704 Account found with no bio on 15 June 2013, just these stats: 0 tweets. 1 following. 5 followers. His twittercide note was published as: "Confessions of a Tweeter," by Larry Carlat, The New York Times, 'Lives' section, 11 November 2011, https://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/13/magazine/confessions-of-a-tweeter.html

I dreamt everyone was happy.

Total nightmare.

22 October 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^164.65] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/392643746702950400 Twitter bio and stats on 30 December 2013 for this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 17,120 tweets. 729 following. 28,655 followers.

Underachievers are the best lovers.

6 December 2010 The Bosha ‏@TheBosha [^164.66] https://twitter.com/#!/TheBosha/status/11933463984742400 His bio and stats on 16 November 2012: Get off my lawn. Location: Near the Tannhäuser Gate · http://www.witstream.com/#jim_bosha - 13,149 tweets. 476 following. 11,858 followers.

Trust me on this...

The lower your standards...

**The better your day** :)

28 August 2011 That Stings @thatstings [^164.67] https://twitter.com/#!/thatstings/status/107788046992277504 His profile picture showed him wearing a short beard. His stats on 12 November 2012: The Peanut Gallery · http://favstar.fm/users/thatstings/recent - 8,460 tweets. 3,001 following. 9,475 followers.

Its only embarrassing if you care what people think.

25 April 2012 Fergy ‏@jferg1616 [^164.68] https://twitter.com/#!/jferg1616/status/195284518398197760 Twitter bio and stats on 21 November 2013: 3x 1st round draft pick. Follow me on instagram: jferg1616 – Location: Kansas to Colorado · favstar.fm/users/jferg1616 - 8,134 tweets. 1,368 following. 3,693 followers.

I would be so unhappy with my life if I listened to people who told me what to do.

23 September 2012 David Hoang ‏@davidhoang [^164.69] https://twitter.com/davidhoang/status/250072672812281857 Bio: I love to work + travel, so I do both. iOS Designer at @xhatch. Ronin. Former Seattleite. Loves Star Wars, Lakers. Shenanigan instigator. Cat whisperer. Location: Brooklyn, New York http://davidhoang.com - 60,325 tweets. 1,029 following. 3,899 followers.

Only when it's running out a bit do you notice how much Hope is daily needed to keep the show on the road.

2 October 2012 Alain de Botton ‏@alaindebotton [^164.70] https://twitter.com/alaindebotton/status/253367747805839360 His bio and stats on 15 January 2013: Writer; most recently of 'Religion for Atheists'. Location: London · http://tinyurl.com/chcbro9 - 555 tweets. 4,420 following. 308,786 followers.

Be somebody who gives others hope.

26 December 2011 ShoutingGoddess @ShoutingGoddess [^164.71] https://twitter.com/#!/ShoutingGoddess/status/151304428132122624 Her bio and stats on 5 November 2012: Don't read this shit. Go read a book. 101,615 tweets. 2,305 following. 16,629 followers.

I've said "it's gonna be alright" a lot lately to other people, but mostly to myself. Because it is gonna be alright.

9 July 2012 Gangbang Excalibur ‏@xeyednpainless [^164.72] https://twitter.com/xeyednpainless/status/222367601412681734 Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 21 November 2013: Jackass Tozer @xeyednpainless [^164.73] A B- average in calculus in all four quarters of my senior year of high school. 957 tweets. 74 following. 95 Followers. This tweet was found on 21 November 2013 to have been deleted.

Everything is going to be ok, just don't look behind you.

14 September 2012 NE_tosha ‏@_just_tosha_ [^164.74] https://twitter.com/_just_tosha_/status/246847612194533377

Location: USA. Stats: 3,835 tweets. 1,898 following. 960 followers.

Calm a llama down.

28 May 2012 muchkin ‏@prettymuches - https://twitter.com/prettymuches/status/207113973621997570 Her screen name, ID, bio and stats on 13 May 2013: ♥ @grrrawrr_ [^164.75] 7,991 tweets. 1,325 following. 1,958 followers.

Treat anger like money. spend it wisely or not at all.

20 June 2011 Laugh Riot @Laugh_Riot [^164.76] https://twitter.com/#!/Laugh_Riot/status/82742023890804736 Twitter bio and stats on 4 August 2013: Zindagi mein haste raho, jiyo, khush raho kyunki kya pata - kal aage ke do daant ho na ho!! Parody A/c, not Cyrus! ! Location: living on the edge! – Mumbai. 32,868 tweets. 123 following. 34,913 followers.

Hating someone is like lending them money to rent your soul.

18 July 2012 bllix ‏@bllix [^164.77] https://twitter.com/bllix/status/225761039663374336 Her bio and stats on 30 October 2012: Electronic music producer/knob-twiddler, MYLF, Multilingual programmer, Attorney at LOL, Thug 4 Life, Laundromancer, METAL AS FVCK. Damn, Gina. Location: Portland, OR. · http://bllix.tumblr.com - 12,746 tweets. 501 following. 4,516 followers.

It's probably just a coincidence, but I've never met a happy person who spent much time hating anyone.

23 February 2014 NoLuckWanted ‏@NoLuckWanted [^164.78] https://twitter.com/NoLuckWanted/status/437588358902988800 Her bio and stats on 21 April 2014: You say immoral; I say make it a double. Location: Hack Town. 22,676 tweets. 6,079 following. 31,926 following.

still waiting for that thing where someone comes into my life and fixes all my problems for me

22 August 2012 Sputnik Sweetheart ‏@Verlieren [^164.79] https://twitter.com/Verlieren/status/238379924535246849 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: Creator of Google, previously psychotic person. Not to make you fall in love with me but I probably don't have AIDS. http://tinyurl.com/verinstagram - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001856/ - 11,012 tweets. 548 following. 14,712 followers.

Somebody save me from me

21 September 2012 SH1V3R ‏@SH1V3R [^164.80] https://twitter.com/SH1V3R/status/249384006364303360 His bio: You get nothing. Location: Right Here Right Now. 33,232 tweets. 1,800 following. 1,085 followers. Underlining added. The third character in @SH1V3R is the number one. The third character in @SH1V3R is the number one.

You can't play victim when it was your decision which got you where you are.

14 October 2013 Ann ‏@writerPT [^164.81] https://twitter.com/writerPT/status/389795716106706945 Her bio and stats on 5 March 2014: @ambamthankyamam is my beautiful TC. One of @max_pad21's Angels. @crunchenhancer is my Slurpee bud. Don't bug me when I'm writing... http://annmacdonald.me – Location: Michigan · favstar.fm/users/writerPT – 64,068 tweets. 14,041 following. 25,116 followers.

You need someone to save you?

To make everything right in your life again?

Stand the fuck up & go to the mirror.

There's your savior.

26 March 2012 Just Mare @marebytes [^164.82] https://twitter.com/#!/marebytes/status/184457016415240192 Her bio and stats on 13 April 2013: I'm just here for the fisting. This ... http://marebytes.blogspot.com - should make you think twice... I wish I was making this shit up. Location: Phillies & Flyers Fan · http://favstar.fm/users/marebytes - 28,744 tweets. 3,202 following. 10,721 followers.

If only we were as brave for ourselves as we are for other people.

22 February 2013 Kay Morgan @KayM77 [^164.83] https://twitter.com/KayM77/status/305076286701838336 Her bio and stats on 14 March 2013: I'm on Twitter. 18,872 tweets. 248 following. 1,615 followers.

Be your own hero.

22 December 2012 Sarah Dactyl ‏@GreenEyedJedi [^164.84] https://twitter.com/GreenEyedJedi/status/282426214453501952 Bio and stats on 28 December 2012: Girl next door with a twist. Photographer, schadenfreude enthusiast, lascivious. Cheshire cat grin. Tardis hunter. instagram=gotsarah Location: North Shore, Ma · http://favstar.fm/users/GreenEyedJedi - 11,716 tweets. 2,651 following. 9,510 followers.

get yourself together

23 December 2013 NYT Minus Context ‏@NYTMinusContext [^164.85] https://twitter.com/NYTMinusContext/status/415132948439248896 Bio and stats on 17 January 2014: All Tweets Verbatim From New York Times Content. Not Affiliated with New York Times. Follow @NYTPlusContext for context. NYTMinusContext@gmail.com - 1,244 tweets. 911 following. 10.854 followers.

The New York Times @nytimes [^164.86] Twitter bio and stats on 17 January 2014: Where the conversation begins. Follow for breaking news, special reports, http://NYTimes.com homepage links and RTs of our journalists. Location: New York City · nytimes.com -124,082 tweets. 854 following. 10,681,262 followers.

Get the fuck away from me with your crying sound.

7 February 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^164.87] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/299524662340239361 Her bio and stats on 21 February 2013: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 13,087 tweets. 1,978 following. 2,000 followers.

keep that depressing sex appeal up.

5 July 2013 sweet p ‏@preawsaurus [^164.88] https://twitter.com/preawsaurus/status/353054928748556288 Her Twitter bio: no, thanks. Tellus. 14,546 tweets. 815 following. 9,464 followers.

More loathing, less self.

21 November 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^164.89] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/403581934468489216 Twitter bio of this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 16,371 tweets. 726 following. 27,435 followers.

Stop giving someone else the job of making you happy.

16 September 2012 Donna T ‏@sweetg35 [^164.90] https://twitter.com/sweetg35/status/247234984375623681 Her bio and stats on 3 November 2012: I  my NY YANKEES! u boys rule! Love animals & a good sense of humor! Location: A NY State of Mind  · http://favstar.fm/users/sweetg35 \- 49,334 tweets. 1,539 following. 1,650 followers. Bio and stats on 15 September 2014: Love the NY YANKEES! ⚾Also love animals & humor. (In a relationship) NY state of mind http://favstar.fm/users/sweetg35 - 350,563 tweets. 8,398 following. 29,302 followers.

Once you realize you're not the only one whose life sucks, you'll be just fine.

4 November 2012 Calamity ClamRocks ‏@TrueTorontoGirl [^164.91] https://twitter.com/TrueTorontoGirl/status/265258599184490498 Her bio and stats on 6 November 2012: I am ASS whatever.... Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada · http://favstar.fm/users/TrueTorontoGirl \- 19,863 tweets. 1,213 following. 12,605 followers.

"the world is won by those that can let it go"

15 May 2012 the White Crayon ‏@Raistlend [^164.92] https://twitter.com/#!/Raistlend/status/202348147584929792 Twitter bio and stats on 21 November 2013: where black is the color and none is the number... Location: a spot on the map of the world. 30,790 tweets. 725 following. 1,645 followers.

Live your future like you never screwed up your past.

11 February 2012 Northern Magic @NorthernMagic [^164.93] https://twitter.com/#!/NorthernMagic/status/168243730376171521 No Twitter account found with this ID on 14 July 2013. Appears to have twittercided in 2012. Could have been Canadian. This tweet is also included here in the chapter on time travel.

Forgiving yourself is sometimes a greater virtue than forgiving others.

6 November 2012 Pimple Eye ‏@PimpleEye - https://twitter.com/PimpleEye/status/265793363192717312 Bio: I used to have a pimple, now I don't. Location: Under The Westgate. Melbourne · http://favstar.fm/users/PimpleEye/recent - 28,388 tweets. 852 following. 7,763 followers. ‏Became Fuzzy Pimple @FuzzyPimple [^164.94] in early December 2012.

(emotionally) growing pains

14 September 2013 warsan shire ‏@warsan_shire [^164.95] https://twitter.com/warsan_shire/status/378937069655293952 Her bio and stats on 24 September 2013: writer. poetry editor at SPOOK magazine. author of 'teaching my mother how to give birth'. Location: north west London. 5,827 tweets. 805 following. 24,410 followers.

Ten days later she arrived in Mogadishu for the first time, tweeting:

home

24 September 2013 warsan shire ‏@warsan_shire [^164.96] https://twitter.com/warsan_shire/status/382495917552979968

Happiness is not the absence of problems: happiness is learning to enjoy the problems.

14 November 2012 Samantha Lasko ‏@samanthalasko [^164.97] https://twitter.com/samanthalasko/status/268754978821267457 Her bio and stats the next day: Just having fun! 520 tweets. 2,194 following. 2,006 followers.

Life tastes better when you learn how to swallow the pits.

6 December 2012 Theodora Chester ‏@beingtheo [^164.98] https://twitter.com/beingtheo/status/276861265136209920 Her bio and stats on 8 December 2012: Lapsed writer, collecting distractions. 18,927 tweets. 1,630 following. 6,966 followers.

Learn to accept the present moment as if you had invited it.—Pema Chödrön

7 December 2009 Kyria Abrahams @kyriabeingbanal [^164.99] on Twitter. URL lost. No Twitter account with this ID found on 12 September 2013.

No Twitter ID found for Pema Chödrön [^164.100] on 22 November 2013. On that date, this appeared to be a fan account: Pema Chödrön Quotes @PemaQuotes - Wisdom from Ven. Pema Chodron, a Buddhist nun in the Tibetan Vajrayana tradition. pemachodron.org - 2,010 tweets. 29 following. 42,389 followers.

*looks around* this is probably my beautiful whatever

19 October 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^164.101] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/391460834792062976 Twitter bio and stats on 30 December 2013 for this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 17,120 tweets. 729 following. 28,655 followers.

There has to be a silver lining in here somewhere...

4 April 2012 Rock God ‏ @redpawn3 [^164.102] https://twitter.com/#!/redpawn3/status/187734920855171073 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Solitary Dad, with my kids 5/6 out of 14 days. Location: Backstage · http://favstar.fm/users/redpawn3 - 58,559 tweets. 3,037 following. 5,069 followers.

Hey, light at the end of the tunnel, hurry up!

20 August 2011 BitterSweet @ShineSweetly - https://twitter.com/#!/ShineSweetly/status/105033645361872896 Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 12 September 2013: MinniesMadness @MinniesMadness [^164.103] Country girl in the past, present and future. Simple little things make me happy. Complicated things make me crazier than normal, until I figure them out. Location: Where sunsets & sunrises rock! · http://favstar.fm/users/MinniesMadness/recent - 4,205 tweets. 313 following. 477 followers.

you and your issues.

2 April 2012 ghufran‏ @ghufranky [^164.104] https://twitter.com/#!/ghufranky/status/186836601622630400 Her bio and stats on 12 December 2012: still waiting on that jellyfish reincarnation. http://thisismylastcigarette.tumblr.com - 4,001 tweets. 197 following. 700 followers.

cheer the fuck up, you'll be fine.

2 April 2012 ghufran ‏@ghufranky [^164.105] https://twitter.com/#!/ghufranky/status/186887724068904960 Her bio and stats on 12 December 2012: still waiting on that jellyfish reincarnation. http://thisismylastcigarette.tumblr.com - 4,001 tweets. 197 following. 700 followers.

It only hurts because I let it.

24 February 2014 Shea Burnham ‏@Glorificus917 [^164.106] https://twitter.com/Glorificus917/status/438192859578376192 Her bio and stats on 26 February 2014: There's no glitter in the gutter. http://Instagram.com/badkittie917 - Location: Marietta/Atl, GA · favstar.fm/users/Glorificus917 - 13,618 tweets. 817 following. 1,996 followers.

learn to find happiness in the most unlikely places, like your life, for instance

12 January 2013 acidic jew ‏@thomas_violence [^164.107] https://twitter.com/thomas_violence/status/290084407920979968 Bio and stats on 24 February 2014: Bisexual. Bipolar. Bipartisan. Regular columnist for Glabe, the Shulnt & the Felvet. Blogger at http://tinyman.co.uk and http://thetrash.com . Location: Brisbane · subtleviolence.wordpress.com – 39,479 tweets. 1,118 following. 10,486 followers.

We're all broken. It's what we do with the pieces that matter.

26 November 2013 Ann ‏@writerPT [^164.108] https://twitter.com/writerPT/status/405512378982596609 Her bio and stats on 5 March 2014: @ambamthankyamam is my beautiful TC. One of @max_pad21's Angels. @crunchenhancer is my Slurpee bud. Don't bug me when I'm writing... http://annmacdonald.me – Location: Michigan · favstar.fm/users/writerPT – 64,068 tweets. 14,041 following. 25,116 followers.

Metanoia: (n.) the journey of changing one's mind, heart, self, or way of life.

2 April 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^164.109] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/319019702003326976 Her bio: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 14,407 tweets. 2,079 following. 2,104 followers. The language in this tweet is derivative but no definitive first-use was found.

_Metanoia_ has several meanings, including psychological breakdown followed by healing. As a theological term, it refers to repentance. As a rhetorical device, it refers to withdrawing a statement and correcting it to either weaken or strengthen it. It also serves as a philosophical term for avoiding consumerism and greed, in favor of living with less.

My problems are merely solutions waiting to happen.

25 February 2011 Miss Fuckalicious @PyrBliss [^164.110] https://twitter.com/#!/PyrBliss/status/41023788057501696 Her bio and stats on 7 November 2012: Swearing on Twitter is my anti-drug. Come for the cuteness, stay for the rage. I say FUCK! a lot. Location: In your pocket · http://favstar.fm/users/PyrBliss - 2,916 tweets. 838 following. 26,747 followers.

If you look closely at the clothing scattered about my floor, it's actually an artistic display about hope and love.

4 March 2012 Alene Parr ‏@aleneparr [^164.111] https://twitter.com/#!/aleneparr/status/176486055166492674 Her bio and stats on 27 November 2012: Psychology Student. Sweatervest Enthusiast. Professional Cynic. Cheese Connoisseur. This is stuff I think about. http://favstar.fm/users/aleneparr - Location: Ontario · http://alenetalks.blogspot.ca/ - 6,830 tweets. 4,513 following. 7,090 followers.

Since I'm living in a dreamworld, things couldn't get any better.

13 May 2012 Not the Lord ‏@byronblurb [^164.112] https://twitter.com/#!/byronblurb/status/201847539991973891 His bio and stats on 2 November 2012: skilled at the art of changing the subject; unlimited fountain of useless nonsense; usually able to finish 2 cheeseburgers with no problem. Location: Close enough to come visit. · http://www.favstar.fm/users/byronblurb/recent - 10,007 tweets. 5,593 following. 6,024 followers.

The thing about smart people is that they seem like crazy people to dumb people.

8 November 2011 Sarah Bat ‏@sheseemslegit [^164.113] https://twitter.com/#!/sheseemslegit/status/133948414210744321 Her screen name, bio and stats on 22 November 2013: KittenPrincess @sheseemslegit - Vodka made from glitter. http://favstar.fm/users/sheseemslegit... Location: Catville. 57,051 tweets. 1,105 following. 11,578 followers.

I wish people were stranger. It's their regularness that is so inexplicable!

29 March 2011 Ramla Akhtar @ramlas [^164.114] https://twitter.com/#!/ramlas/status/52815513251889152 In Sindh, Pakistan. No account with this ID found at the end of 2011.

" **5 reported characteristics of eccentric personalities: non-conformity of attitude, creativity, curiosity, idealism, & obsession w/ a hobby**"

7 August 2011 Raza Rumi @Razarumi [^164.115] https://twitter.com/#!/Razarumi/status/100125988712742912 He was in Lahore, Pakistan. His Twitter bio and stats on 22 November 2013: Writer/Policy analyst,Development Professional~Editor @TFT_ Sr Fellow @jinnahinstitute; Pub @paktea; Lahorenama. Former staff @ADB_HQ, @UN, Govt of Pakistan. Location: Pakistan · razarumi.com - 86,195 tweets. 1,809 following. 53,099 followers. Bio and stats on 5 April 2014: Writer/Policy analyst,Development Professional~Editor @TFT_ Sr Fellow @jinnahinstitute; Pub @paktea; Lahorenama. Former staff @ADB_HQ, @UN, Govt of Pakistan. Location: Pakistan. razarumi.com. 95,557 tweets. 1,984 following. 80,498 followers.

I have so many regrets. So... yeah, I'm doing life right.

17 March 2012 Rock God Zombie ‏@redpawn3 [^164.116] https://twitter.com/#!/redpawn3/status/180967869494984704 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Solitary Dad, with my kids 5/6 out of 14 days. Location: Backstage · http://favstar.fm/users/redpawn3 - 58,559 tweets. 3,037 following. 5,069 followers.

Sometimes the worst decisions you made become the best stories you have.

14 July 2012 Jerm Himselfish ‏@JermHimselfish [^164.117] https://twitter.com/JermHimselfish/status/224335833375846401 His bio and stats on 24 February 2013: Sometimes I just like to sit on the couch and do nothing for 3 years. @msmessymist is my beautiful Bavarian button. Location: On the phone with @imence2 · http://favstar.fm/users/JermHimselfish/recent - 23,666 tweets. 2,825 following. 14,791 followers.

Allowing your child to experience failure is one of the greatest gifts you can give her.

14 July 2010 Maria Montessori @MariaMontessori [^164.118] https://twitter.com/#!/MariaMontessori/status/18551795334 Twitter bio and stats on 23 November 2013: Scientist, free thinker, orator, educational visionary and champion for children. Learn more at http://www.MariaMontessori.com - Sacramento, California · MariaMontessori.com - 2,572 tweets. 184 following. 10,255 followers.

Try looking at yourself next time you're trying to solve a problem

10 April 2012 Mudblood @DiscoLemonKayy [^164.119] https://twitter.com/#!/DiscoLemonKayy/status/189742269581103106 Her bio and stats on 30 October 2012: I'm a shade too awkward for pretty; this muggle bullshit is for the birds. Location: into the wild :) 26,411 tweets. 907 following. 6,509 followers.

what's up with the incessant need to keep hitting the self-destruct button?

5 June 2012 snarkarella ‏@snarkarella [^164.120] https://twitter.com/snarkarella/status/209908701514055682 Her bio and stats on 17 December 2012: i like snacking on ice cubes. 3,547 tweets. 389 following. 1,594 followers.

Get a new job, stop drinking, lose some weight, leave the house, find a therapist, dump the motherfucker. There, your problems: solved.

2009 @Poeks [^164.121] on Favrd. URL lost. Her screen name, ID, bio and stats on Twitter on 31 December 2012: Jen Oslislo @poeks - Some commie lesbo. Location: Portland, OR · http://flavors.me/poeks - 2,133 tweets. 65 following. 2,942 followers. 135 characters, including spaces.

The worst part about sharing your problems with your friends is realizing how petty your issues are. That's why therapy rocks.

10 February 2011 kdn @kdn13 [^164.122] https://twitter.com/#!/kdn13/status/35756343226793985 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: I have a weakness for split infinitives. Location: Bay Area, CA. 4,724 tweets. 247 following. 19,916 followers.

Like all dreamers, I mistook disenchantment for truth.

Jean-Paul Sartre, The Words, the autobiography of the first ten years of his life. Written when Sartre was 59. Published in French in 1963. Original title: Les Mots. First published in English in 1964, translated by Bernard Frechtman.

Et tu, sartre?

15 March 2014 Friedrice Nietzsche @TinyNietzsche [^164.123] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/444862058262044673 Bio and stats on 22 March 2014: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 18,169 tweets. 755 following. 31,962 followers.

The sky is not falling.

27 February 2013 Rock God ‏@redpawn3 [^164.124] https://twitter.com/redpawn3/status/306820251390210049 His bio and stats on 13 March 2013: A man. A plan. A dream. Location: Ravenloft Studios · http://favstar.fm/users/redpawn3 - 66,340 tweets. 3,181 following. 5,561 followers.

Refers to the story of Henny Penny, also known as Chicken Little. Versions of the story are 2,500 years old. "The sky is falling!" is repeated throughout the tale in a mistaken belief that complete disaster is both imminent and inescapable.

At the end of the day, your insecurity is not as interesting as someone's cancer or something.

20 May 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^164.125] https://twitter.com/#!/nerdamage/status/204466810236583936 His bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,477 tweets. 3,154 following. 9,233 followers.

My last girlfriend was a vegetable and the one before that was a rock. Don't talk to me about your problems

5 October 2012 Chück. ‏@SimplyNamedTron [^164.126] https://twitter.com/SimplyNamedTron/status/254239667912839170 His bio and stats on 22 October 2012: KFC Chicken Scientist and Dominos Cheese Pizza Expert. Chuck http://favstar.fm/users/SimplyNamedTron \- 10,100 tweets. 792 following. 927 followers.

If you can't take the crazy, don't visit the asylum.

4 November 2012 PainfullyYours ‏@MentalAbortions [^164.127] https://twitter.com/MentalAbortions/status/265180438757257216 His bio: If you can't take the crazy, don't visit the asylum. Location: New Mexico · http://favstar.fm/users/MentalAbortions - 7,974 tweets. 345 following. 3,091 followers.

There's a Polish saying that means "Not my problem" & literally translates to "Not my circus, not my monkeys"

21 October 2012 ania jakubek ‏@aniajakubek [^164.128] https://twitter.com/aniajakubek/status/260160929721884672 Her bio and stats on 23 October 2012: question-asker Location: Paris, France · http://namarnamar.tumblr.com/ - 845 tweets. 778 following. 223 followers.

Then in Polish:

@SewUnicorn @peterdamien here ya go: "Nie mój cyrk, nie moje małpy."

21 October 2012 ania jakubek ‏@aniajakubek [^164.129] https://twitter.com/aniajakubek/status/260189231773777920 Her bio and stats on 23 October 2012: question-asker Location: Paris, France · http://namarnamar.tumblr.com/ - 845 tweets. 778 following. 223 followers.

Malpy means monkey.

@peterdamien @aniajakubek @joe_hill One of my aunts uses a similar phrase: "Not my pig, not my farm." Tho I do like the circus/monkey visual

21 October 2012 Bibi Silver ‏@randomlybibi [^164.130] https://twitter.com/randomlybibi/status/260171543752105986 Bio and stats on 23 October 2012: Writer of urban fantasy, paranormal mystery/suspense and anything else that compels me. Day job in digital media production management & communications. Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada · http://www.randomlybibi.com/ - 970 tweets. 911 following. 311 followers.

Nobody.

Feels.

Sorry.

For.

You.

25 September 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^164.131] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/250555730455846912 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,223 tweets. 1,918 following. 1,773 followers.

i used to feel sorry for myself, now i just read your tweets.

29 November 2012 sweet p ‏@preawsaurus [^164.132] https://twitter.com/preawsaurus/status/274120323396415488 Her bio and stats on 4 March 2013: i am nice. at least that's the way i perceive myself. i could be wrong. Location: Tellus · http://favstar.fm/users/preawsaurus 13,455 tweets. 822 following. 9,129 followers.

If you don't give a shit about yourself, don't expect others to do it for you.

24 October 2012 Calamity ClamRocks ‏@TrueTorontoGirl [^164.133] https://twitter.com/TrueTorontoGirl/status/261168680686194688 Bio: I am ASS whatever.... Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada · http://favstar.fm/users/TrueTorontoGirl - 19,308 tweets. 1,177 following. 12,101 followers.

Stay away from those who flaunt their sorrows.

27 March 2013 Shabana Feroze ‏@SilverKick [^164.134] https://twitter.com/SilverKick/status/317019639504846849 Her bio: My feet are allergic to flats. IG: shabanaferoze - http://favstar.fm/users/SilverKick/recent - 32,707 tweets. 1,030 following. 5,644 followers.

Weakness is only charming in the strong.

9 April 2011 Alain de Botton @alaindebotton [^164.135] https://twitter.com/#!/alaindebotton/status/56611973554634752 His bio and stats on 15 January 2013: Writer; most recently of 'Religion for Atheists'. Location: London · http://tinyurl.com/chcbro9 - 555 tweets. 4,420 following. 308,786 followers.

I am NOT PATHETIC!!! I'm ironic.

27 March 2012 M. Holes. @InVisiHole [^164.136] https://twitter.com/#!/InVisiHole/status/184652002138144768 Her Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 23 November 2013: Queen RanDumb @InVisiHole - None of this means a damn thing. Location: 412 · favstar.fm/users/InVisiHole - 18,880 tweets. 6,403 following. 6,826 followers.

Feeling sorry for yourself is like running a race on a treadmill, at the end you're just tired and standing in the same place you started.

2 December 2012 RandomlyGoodNews. ‏@imence2 [^164.137] https://twitter.com/imence2/status/275378278909480960 His screen name, bio and stats on 23 February 2013: Cobrad - There's a lot of things in my real life bio I'd like to erase. Having a best friend like @RandomlyMJ is one I lucky to be able to write. Location: Talking to @Jermhimselfish · http://favstar.fm/users/imence2/recent - 32,743 tweets. 975 following. 8,922 followers.

" **Never feel self-pity, the most destructive emotion there is.** "

"Millicent Fenwick was a former fashion model and Vogue magazine editor who served in Congress in the 1970s. Famous for her pipe-smoking habit and memorable quips, she was one of the era's most colorful politicians. She lives on in history as the model for the character of Lacey Davenport in Garry Trudeau's Doonesbury comic strip."

The two quotes above were found on a webpage profiling Millicent Fenwick. The quotes were separated by her photograph. The first quote above is by Millicent Fenwick. The second is by Mardy Grothe. The quotes appeared on this page: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-mardy-grothe/neverisms-things-you-should-never_b_860133.html#s277074&title=Never_feel_selfpity

The above page was part of this article:

"'Neverisms': 11 Things You Should Never Do, Never Say, Never Forget (PHOTOS)," by Mardy Grothe, Huffington Post, 11 May 2011. http://huff.to/kMX2W2 - Full URL: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-mardy-grothe/neverisms-things-you-should-never_b_860133.html#s277067title=Never_dull_your

Grothe's biography on the Huffington Post on 20 August 2013: Dr. Mardy Grothe is a psychologist, management consultant, and lifelong quotation collector. The author of six quotation anthologies, including Oxymoronica and I Never Metaphor I Didn't Like, his most recent book is Neverisms (May 10, 2011, HarperCollins). To learn more about his work or to sign up for his free weekly e-newsletter, go to: www.drmardy.com.

The above article is based on this book:

Neverisms: A Quotation Lover's Guide to Things You Should Never Do, Never Say, or Never Forget, by Dr Mardy Grothe, HarperCollins, 2011.

Millicent Fenwick [^164.138], 1910 – 1992.

Dr Mardy Grothe @drmardy [^164.139] Twitter bio and stats on 20 August 2013: Quotations from the author of Ifferisms, I Never Metaphor I Didn't Like, Viva la Repartee, Oxymoronica, Never Let a Fool Kiss You or a Kiss Fool You. Location: Raleigh, NC · drmardy.com. 3,815 tweets. 10 following. 3,425 followers.

Huffington Post @HuffingtonPost [^164.140] Twitter bio and stats on 27 July 2013: The Internet Newspaper. Curated by @lauralizhibbard, @kerstinshamberg, @beccabigwords, @ethanklapper, @deanpraetorius. huffingtonpost.com. 247,591 tweets. 5,432 following. 3,195,225 followers.

Self-pity will only result in you having even more reasons to be self-pitiful

4 November 2012 Token Geezer ‏@Token_Geezer [^164.141] https://twitter.com/Token_Geezer/status/265157676806332416 His bio: I'm just a minor threat. Location: London · http://favstar.fm/users/Token_Geezer - 30,079 tweets. 862 following. 8,334 followers.

Don't let your struggle become your identity.

4 November 2012 chris hoover ‏@h0oV [^164.142] https://twitter.com/h0oV/status/265211758925455360 His bio: stay driven, stay hungry, stay motivated. Take No Days Off #TNDO. Location: Phoenix, AZ. 1,816 tweets. 222 following. 85 followers.

Don't let the chaos consume you.

17 May 2013 Crisis Lined ‏@swbelieves [^164.143] https://twitter.com/swbelieves/status/335379370149564416 Her bio and stats on 19 May 2013: Sharing words with others while taking the chance to talk with myself. Location: Some Heroin Town · favstar.fm/users/swbelieves - 28,925 tweets. 5,118 following. 7,512 followers.

Sadness also dies.

22 June 2011 Yasmin @YasminMogahed [^164.144] https://twitter.com/#!/YasminMogahed/status/83529435164319744 Her Twitter bio and stats on 23 November 2013: Don't turn your head. Keep looking at the bandaged wound. That's where the light enters you. And don't believe for a moment that you're healing yourself.-Rumi. Location: United States · yasminmogahed.com - 2,580 tweets. 5 following. 82,484 followers.

Things change. People move on. Shit happens.

24 October 2012 Lisa Laughs ‏@Lisa_Laughs_ [^164.145] https://twitter.com/Lisa_Laughs_/status/261143750372384768 Bio: I shouted at the devil once. He cried and made me a chicken pot pie. Gordo Pie Osigat Token BBQ · http://favstar.fm/users/Lisa_Laughs_/recent - 57,379 tweets. 4,187 following. 18,636 followers.

It's important for characters to have a past that informs their performance in the present.

10 October 2011 Disney•Pixar @DisneyPixar [^164.146] https://twitter.com/#!/DisneyPixar/status/123519370512183296 Twitter bio and stats on 23 November 2013: The official Twitter page of Disney•Pixar. Location: Emeryville, CA · facebook.com/DisneyPixar - 2,041 tweets. 119 following. 3,323,199 followers.

I don't get even with people that have wronged me.

I get even with the people that have been good to me.

7 November 2012 Sly ‏@slyoung5 [^164.147] https://twitter.com/slyoung5/status/266421016560009216 Her bio: Straightjackets required. No corners allowed. Love bouncing! Location: Canada · http://favstar.fm/users/slyoung5 - 27,287 tweets. 8,732 following. 14,630 followers.

If I could find a cure for anything.

First, would be cancer.

Second, would be loneliness.

6 August 2010 Rosa @mrsnovocaine [^164.148] https://twitter.com/mrsnovocaine/status/20534272431 No Twitter account with this ID found on 16 May 2013.

Loneliness is the ultimate poverty

6 March 2014 ╠ мя.мσик ╣ ‏@iGreenMonk [^164.149] https://twitter.com/iGreenMonk/status/441793044497461248 His bio and stats on 8 March 2014: A devil in disguise ➳ Always NUDE Never RUDE ➳ Ask your MOM about me ➳ DM me only for Sex Chat ➳ P.S Beware of Me ➳ http://twophy.com/@iGreenMonk – Location: Universe · http://favstar.fm/users/iGreenMonk/recent - 111,132 tweets. 50,920 following. 92,282 followers.

If you are afraid of being lonely, complain less.

25 March 2014 NoLuckWanted ‏@NoLuckWanted [^164.150] https://twitter.com/NoLuckWanted/status/448617453397237761 Her bio and stats on 21 April 2014: You say immoral; I say make it a double. Location: Hack Town. 22,676 tweets. 6,079 following. 31,926 following.

There's enough sunshine in this world for everybody.

15 September 2012 Ryan Armentrout ‏@ryaninco [^164.151] https://twitter.com/ryaninco/status/247099054260121601 Bio: Twitter comedian, writer and journalist, in other words I'm a moron. Instagram Ryanino. Location: The Moon. 19,881 tweets. 5,064 following. 12,321 followers.

All you need is love and possibly medication.

15 April 2012 Alene Parr ‏@aleneparr [^164.152] https://twitter.com/#!/aleneparr/status/191711819361034242 Her bio and stats on 27 November 2012: Psychology Student. Sweatervest Enthusiast. Professional Cynic. Cheese Connoisseur. This is stuff I think about. http://favstar.fm/users/aleneparr - Location: Ontario · http://alenetalks.blogspot.ca/ - 6,830 tweets. 4,513 following. 7,090 followers.

**"Looking back over a lifetime, you see love was the answer to everything." Ray Bradbury.** ‪# **unplug**

6 June 2012 midtowngirl ‏@_Midtowngirl [^164.153] https://twitter.com/_Midtowngirl/status/210568486328610817 Bio and stats on 16 March 2013: Investment Banking.100% Nerd. @Columbia alumni. Native NY'er (Born & Raised on the Upper West Side) with typical cynical outlook on life only true NYers have. Location: Midtown, Manhattan. 11,091 tweets. 179 following. 499 followers.

Tweeted on the day after Ray Bradbury [^164.154] died.

If you're broken, I will gather up your pieces from the filthy ground.

12 March 2011 A+ @sucknouveau [^164.155] https://twitter.com/#!/sucknouveau/status/46810852531249152 No Twitter account with this ID found on 23 November 2013.

Tweeted by a man. Retweeted five times, all by women. Found through this tweet:

After a year on the Twitter that last RT is, and always will be my favorite tweet. ♥ Miss you Suck. Yanno.

27 August 2011 Rachel @dirtypaws7 - https://twitter.com/#!/dirtypaws7/status/107650745624567809 Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 23 November 2013: miss shushy paws @rachel2manypaws [^164.156] Yeah the bleeding heart... crazy dog chick. A fistful of beauty with some weeds. ♥ Chapter43mylifethesuckfest - 7,724 tweets. 432 following. 703 followers.

It may sound cheesy, but if I could choose a super power, it would be the ability to fix people who are truly broken. Shine a little light.

22 November 2011 Jennifer @bourbonmelikey [^164.157] https://twitter.com/#!/bourbonmelikey/status/139070784936226819 Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 23 November 2013: Bourby McBourbon @bourbonmelikey - I like the hard stuff, the irreverent, people not taking themselves too seriously and that's about it for now. http://favstar.fm/users/bourbonmelikey - Location: California. 19,549 tweets. 880 following. 3,977 followers.

4 yrs ago today I wanted to die,

but didn't because I asked for help.

Today I have a big, full life.

Reach out for help if you need it.

16 September 2011 Stephanie Gutierrez @stephaniesits [^164.158] https://twitter.com/#!/stephaniesits/status/114756107632787456 Twitter bio and stats on 23 November 2013: Brevity is the soul of wi witstream.com/#stephanie_gutierrez - 4,884 tweets. 430 following. 4,361 followers.

are you allowed to call an ambulance if you're really lonely

3 October 2012 Mary Charlene ‏@IamEnidColeslaw [^164.159] https://twitter.com/IamEnidColeslaw/status/253689570573553664 Her bio and stats on 4 October 2012: the Garbage Pail Kids version of Zooey Deschanel. Location: Chicago. 12,636 tweets. 4,000 following. 73,248 followers.

Don't be such a hero that you don't get the help you need.

2 August 2012 Rameeza Nizami ‏@RameezaNizami [^164.160] https://twitter.com/RameezaNizami/status/231057049528717312 Her bio and stats on 12 November 2012: Unauthorized, unofficial, etc etc. This isn't even me, really. Location: In an office, most of the time. 5,010 tweets. 890 following. 3,331 followers.

• • • • •

You don't need to reinvent yourself. You just need to discard all the baggage that wasn't you in the first place.

23 March 2012 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^164.161] Twitter bio and stats on 25 January 2014: https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/183443603933249536 Bio: i was born 'n stuff. Location: Hanging out in my garage. · favstar.fm/users/RobotThomas - 59,457 tweets. 8,691 following. 8,308 followers.

Don't forget to check the expiration date on your delusions.

20 January 2013 Nevermind ‏@MyDarkSide73 [^164.162] https://twitter.com/MyDarkSide73/status/293096198296977408 Her bio and stats on 21 January 2013; Sense of humor. If you don't have one, go have the stick removed! I'm not that dark. Illiterate fucks need not apply. I'm married & I have a potty mouth. Location: this moment in time · http://favstar.fm/users/MyDarkSide73 - 7,685 tweets. 436 following. 1,248 followers.

It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change – Darwin

20 December 2010 Dharmesh Shah @dharmesh [^164.163] https://twitter.com/#!/dharmesh/status/17112018305683456 His Twitter bio and stats on 24 November 2013: Entrepreneur. Founder/CTO @HubSpot inbound marketing and startup blogger at http://OnStartups.com . Location: Boston, MA · OnStartups.com - 12,234 tweets. 903 following. 213,410 followers.

You know who says people don't change?

People who think they don't need to change.

15 November 2012 Rock God @redpawn3 [^164.164] https://twitter.com/redpawn3/status/269319926345510912 Bio: Solitary Dad, with my kids 5/6 out of 14 days. Location: Backstage · http://favstar.fm/users/redpawn3 - 59,217 tweets. 3,087 following. 5,130 followers.

Don't listen to them.

Change.

Change now.

20 September 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^164.165] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/381176406555623424 Twitter bio and stats on 30 December 2013 for this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 17,120 tweets. 729 following. 28,655 followers.

If you're not in a constant state of redefinition, you will become obsolete.

31 August 2012 Melicious ‏@honeybadgerMel [^164.166] https://twitter.com/honeybadgerMel/status/241729072504377344 Her Twitter bio and stats on 24 November 2013: Thinks too much, talks too little. Born a gold rush saloon owner in the age of technology. Go figure... Location: Westside of Mormonville · favstar.fm/users/honeybadgerMel - 42,421 tweets. 994 following. 6,347 followers.

Happiness pro-tip:

Go to Tools > Life > Review > Accept All Changes.

Don't forget to Save often.

7 October 2009 Annoying Customer ‏@stupendu [^164.167] https://twitter.com/stupendu/status/4699406328 Twitter bio and stats on 24 November 2013: I am unique and original, just like everybody else. Location: probably at work · favstar.fm/users/stupendu/ - 2,407 tweets. 411 following. 501 followers.

" **Everyone fucking hates me!** " **– Change**

12 September 2012 Ghetto Trophy ‏@Ghetto_Trophy [^164.168] https://twitter.com/Ghetto_Trophy/status/246131045081169920 Her bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I'm the Forrest Gump of this place. http://ghettotrophy.tumblr.com/ Location: United Nations/San Francisco · http://favstar.fm/users/Ghetto_Trophy/recent - 38,533 tweets. 3,560 following. 7,789 followers.

" **Change is good. You go first.** "

9 October 2012 Rameeza Nizami ‏@RameezaNizami [^164.169] https://twitter.com/RameezaNizami/status/255622499826532352 Bio and stats on 12 November 2012: Unauthorized, unofficial, etc etc. This isn't even me, really. Location: In an office, most of the time. 5,010 tweets. 890 following. 3,331 followers.

Change your mind. Just try it.

11 June 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^164.170] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/344389023416074241 Bio: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · pelsjas.wordpress.com - 17,732 tweets. 2,359 following. 2,453 followers.

You don't have to control your thoughts; you just have to stop letting them control you.

13 November 2011 Moogs ‏@miguel_mota [^164.171] https://twitter.com/#!/miguel_mota/status/135902492948054017 Twitter bio and stats on 2 July 2013: Web Developer. Socially Awkward. Ocassionally tweet dirty. Los Angeles · moogs.io - 9,355 tweets. 1,476 following. 1,185 followers.

your past mistakes are meant to guide you. not define you

13 June 2013 Beto W. ‏@betowmx [^164.172] https://twitter.com/betowmx/status/345388826602139649 Bio and stats on 28 June 2013: thinking of something clever to write here.....what not clever enough.. damn you are too picky. Location: Mexico. 13,336 tweets. 2,001 following. 864 followers.

Never let your damage define you.

2 May 2012 Matching Tattoos ‏@MatchingTattoos [^164.173] https://twitter.com/MatchingTattoos/status/197787082624733186 Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 29 June 2013, when this tweet was found to have been deleted. Wonderstruck @Matchingtattoos \- live in such a way that if someone spoke badly about you ,no one would believe it. jade from little mix. 3,189 tweets. 1,987 following. 1,403 followers.

You are the story you tell yourself.

22 April 2012 C®ankyPappy‏ @CrankyPappy [^164.174] https://twitter.com/#!/CrankyPappy/status/194066716291112961 Twitter bio and stats on 17 July 2013: Broke, broken, broken-up, broken-down & broken-hearted. I need a break & a breakthrough. Aroma: whisky, pipe-tobacco & despair. There's hope, but not for us. Location: We're all here, alone together · favstar.fm/users/crankypappy - 20,796 tweets. 34,918 following. 36,394 followers. Underlining added.

**No one can give you better advice than yourself. ~ Cicero** [Link]

1 April 2012 PhiloQuotes ‏@philoquotes [^164.175] https://twitter.com/#!/philoquotes/status/186596817159471106 Twitter bio and stats on 24 November 2013: tweet quotes from the greatest Philosophers. Location: on Atlas shoulders. 27,861 tweets. 83,076 following. 73,722 followers. The link: bit.ly/philq

The decisions you make when the sky is falling define you.

26 July 2010 rands @rands [^164.176] https://twitter.com/#!/rands/status/19634490203 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: in repose. Location: los gatos, ca · http://www.randsinrepose.com - 8,540 tweets. 499 following. 27,448 followers.

The sooner you can admit where you are the sooner you can get to where you want to be.

5 September 2012 I'll Have Another ‏@ainsworth [^164.177] https://twitter.com/ainsworth/status/243330919988092928 His bio and stats on 30 October 2012: We're all just one big social experiment. Florida · http://favstar.fm/users/ainsworth - 8,681 tweets. 1,028 following. 924 followers.

Happiness is an illusion, I tell him.

He tells me sadness is too.

"Choose your illusion," he says.

27 March 2010 Virginia Lore @mysticsavage [^164.178] http://twitter.com/mysticsavage/status/11183472635 Twitter bio and stats on 25 July 2013: Seattle · mystic-savage.livejournal.com/tag/creativity - 1,718 tweets. 1,968 following. 1,269 followers. On 25 July 2013 her most recent tweet was dated 27 February 2013.

Biology very clever in making sure we dont despair too much about bad news more than 12 months ahead.

11 November 2010 Alain de Botton @alaindebotton [^164.179] https://twitter.com/#!/alaindebotton/status/2612100329381888 His bio and stats on 15 January 2013: Writer; most recently of 'Religion for Atheists'. Location: London · http://tinyurl.com/chcbro9 - 555 tweets. 4,420 following. 308,786 followers.

If you're feeling pressure to be perfect, it's from yourself.

Other people actually don't really care.

2 January 201 Princess Warhole @WickedSica - https://twitter.com/#!/WickedSica/status/153967829106954242 Her screen name, ID, stats and bio on 19 December 2012: Jessica Rabbit. @WickedSica I'm like @JessicaFancy but on acid. I wrote a poem: Fuck you. Location: Candyland. · http://favstar.fm/users/wickedsica \- 3,663 tweets. 4,118 following. 4,728 followers. She is being counted under another of her Twitter IDs: @JessicaFancy [^164.180].

Perfection is a flawed character trait.

18 October 2012 Pimple Eye ‏@PimpleEye - https://twitter.com/PimpleEye/status/259106630350807041 His bio and stats on 21 October 2012: I used to have a pimple, now I don't. Under The Westgate. Melbourne http://favstar.fm/users/PimpleEye/recent - 27,429 tweets. 880 following. 7,579 followers. ‏Became Fuzzy Pimple @FuzzyPimple [^164.181] in early December 2012.

The most common form of despair is not being who you are.

\- Soren Kierkegaard

1 October 2012 Elsa Pelsjas @elsaPelsjas [^164.182] on her blog: https://pelsjas.wordpress.com/2012/10/01/7424/ Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,223 tweets. 1,918 following. 1,773 followers.

" **Don't settle.Don't finish crappy books.If u don't like the menu,leave the restaurant.If ur not on the right path, get off it**." Chris Brogan

3 May 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^164.183] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/330259848262459392 Bio: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 16,113 tweets. 2,251 following. 2,294 followers.

Chris Brogan @chrisbrogan [^164.184] Twitter bio and stats on 3 May 2013: CEO&President, Human Business Works: courses to grow YOU. More? http://hbway.com/c . contact: http://chrisbrogan.com/contact - Location: Boston, MA · chrisbrogan.com/new - 123,326 tweets. 361 following. 241,995 followers.

One bad chapter doesn't mean it's the end of the book.

20 July 2012 Js_Dark_Reality ‏@Js_Dark_Reality [^164.185] https://twitter.com/Js_Dark_Reality/status/223937715136245762 His Twitter bio and stats on 24 November 2013: There is pain in every love story...It's just a matter of not making it the final chapter.. favstar.fm/users/Js_Dark_Reality - 18,721 tweets. 7,016 following. 10,813 followers.

In retrospect some mistakes I've made were absolutely brilliant.

5 January 2012 J ‏@Lipgloss_Nerd [^164.186] https://twitter.com/lipgloss_nerd/status/154838635068403714 Her screen name, bio and stats on 4 March 2013: That Horrible Girl - @UluwatuSiap and I are no longer here. Perhaps we never really were. Unfollow guilt free. Location: Island of Delusions. 1,528 tweets. 628 following. 6,430 followers. Bio and stats on 4 March 2013 of That Rude Cunt @UluwatuSiap - @Lipgloss_Nerd and I are no longer here. Perhaps we never really were. Unfollow guilt free. Location: Island of Delusions. 2,350 tweets. 737 following. 9,441 followers. The last tweets from both accounts were dated 9 December 2012.

If in doubt, be kind.

21 June 2012 Kiwichettan ‏@BarnabyHM [^164.187] https://twitter.com/BarnabyHM/status/215743784552632321 His bio and stats on 9 March 2013: India/cricket writer & boss of timezones - NZ by morning, Australia in the afternoon & India at night. Views own, RTs ≠ endorsements, gravy edukkan marakanda. Location: Wellington, NZ · http://about.me/barnabyhm - 23,487 tweets. 846 following. 1,614 followers.

Will people stop fighting for one day and look at the beautiful nature around them (what remains) and revel in its beauty?

24 September 2012 Angsuman Chakraborty ‏@angsuman [^164.188] https://twitter.com/angsuman/status/250127686662500352 His Twitter bio and stats on 24 November 2013: Entrepreneur & Software Architect, Social CRM Consultant. Products: Social CRM, Customer Support, Defect Tracking SaaS. Location: Kolkata, India. 30,536 tweets. 3,444 following. 3,681 followers. Angsuman Chakraborty was in Kolkata at the time of this tweet. Tweeted after a week of huge street demonstrations there and throughout the region.

Is 'quiet activism' a thing? Can we make it so?

E.g. Speaking kindly of each other, supporting hard decisions, raising thoughtful kids etc.

19 July 2012 Lady Grey ‏@owlparliament [^164.189] https://twitter.com/owlparliament/status/226001827508916226 Her Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 24 November 2013: Catch Adams @owlparliament - uterati crew – Location: Toronto. 12,890 tweets. 775 following. 1,409 followers.

BE KIND, FOR

EVERYONE **YOU**

MEET IS FIGHTING

A HARD BATTLE.

Source: the black coffee community book, volume 1, anonymous handwritten entry viewed on 9 December 2013. Volume 1 began receiving entries in the beginning of November 2012, when the cooperative opened. The first volume was filled up by the end of February 2013. The books are small black-bound volumes of unlined blank paper. Anyone could write or draw in the books. The bound pages had been pulled from this volume's covers by 9 December 2013. On that date there were also two loose pages of drawings stuffed in between the bound pages. Black Coffee @BlackCoffeeCoop [^164.190] Twitter bio and stats on 9 December 2013: Black Coffee is a workers' co-op, café, community space & infoshop in the Capitol Hill neighborhood of Seattle. Location: Seattle · blackcoffeecoop.com. 474 tweets. 356 following. 376 followers. Black Coffee's Capitol Hill shop closed on 24 October 2014.

On the same page but in another hand, someone wrote a single word, linked to the above quote with a little arrow:

yes.

Want less, gain more.

14 June 2012 Bitch_In_Me ‏@BitchingMe [^164.191] https://twitter.com/bitchingme/status/213212808941281281 Her bio and stats on 13 January 2013: If you can't handle bitches, fuck off. My DM has autodelete function. In love with my Reality so don't bother. Location: Somewhere but not there · http://favstar.fm/users/BitchingMe/recent - 15,803 tweets. 9,647 following. 10,255 followers.

Drive until you run out of road. Take the night ferry into the black water. Look up. There are all the stars you forgot about.

26 October 2008 @kio_pio on Twitter. URL lost. Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 17 July 2013: Kio Stark

@kiostark [^164.192] Author @dontgoback2schl & Follow Me Down. Ind ed activist, Knight-Moz OpenNews, ITP adjunct. Also: relational tech, streets+strangers, cities, brains, stories. Location: Near an industrial waterway · kiostark.com - 6,146 tweets. 1,519 following. 2,706 followers.

tonight will be a memory, too.

28 October 2009 Anthea T. @verybadrat [^164.193] tweeting as Anthea Pie @versuspie at the time. URL lost. The ID @versuspie was changed to Anthea T. @bonevault before becoming @verybadrat. Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 22 April 2013: Anthea T. @verybadrat Ⓐ Location: Singapore · http://kingratcave.com/ - 12,635 tweets. 127 following. 128 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  165. Literary Influence of the Form

Nicholas DeGeorge in his unpublished paper _From Tool to Crutch: The Dissociative Danger of Connectivity Technology_ (2011) draws an analogy between frogs in boiling water and the transformative effects on humanity from microblogging and other connective technologies. The changes have been so rapid and totalizing that we fail to grasp them until we are overwhelmed by them.

Technology has enabled immediate, unfiltered and direct connections between authors and audiences, as shown by this exchange with Vir Sanghvi as he headed into a conference session on the second day of the _Literature Live_ festival held at the National Centre for the Performing Arts in Mumbai, India.

Speaking at a session on writing in the age of twitter at the literary festival. Any ideas?

1:34 a.m. PST 1 November 2012 vir sanghvi ‏@virsanghvi [^165.1] https://twitter.com/virsanghvi/status/263921843918999552 His bio: Journalist, TV anchor. Location: Delhi, India · http://www.virsanghvi.com - 3,030 tweets. 20 following. 599,546 followers.

Instant reply:

@virsanghvi **merits of writing with proper beginning, middle and end haven't gone because of twitter etc.**

1:35 a.m. PST 1 November 2012 Mark_Parkinson ‏@Mark_Parkinson [^165.2] https://twitter.com/Mark_Parkinson/status/263922178326675456 His bio: Passionate educator, committed to all things related to fulfillment of human potential. One life, one world, what a ride. Location: Gurgaon, India · http://markparkinson.wordpress.com/ - 3,489 tweets. 354 following. 803 followers.

Another reply:

.@virsanghvi **Twitter's impact on our attention spans is the biggest threat to conventional literature since I can rememb**

2:24 a.m. PST 1 November 2012 https://twitter.com/aem76us/status/263934405238730752

Vir Sanghvi replies:

Thank you so very much for all the responses! Now for the session...

2.27 a.m. PST 1 November 2012 vir sanghvi ‏@virsanghvi [^165.3] https://twitter.com/virsanghvi/status/263935332762935296 His bio: Journalist, TV anchor. Location: Delhi, India · http://www.virsanghvi.com - 3,030 tweets. 20 following. 599,546 followers.

Writers at the Literature Live session discussed writing in the age of Twitter and how Twitter, with its 140-character limit, is forcing writing to evolve. The session was moderated by Sachin Kalbag.

Sachin Kalbag ‏@SachinKalbag [^165.4] Stats on 19 November 2012: 28,948 tweets. 169 following. 17,854 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 29 July 2013: Executive Editor at @mid_day. I tweet and RT about Mumbai, current affairs, cosmology, journalism, photography, sports, science. Tweets are personal. Location: Mumbai · mid-day.com. 36,509 tweets. 197 following. 29,237 followers.

The two other panelists, in addition to Vir Sanghvi:

Pritish Nandy @PritishNandy

Pritish Nandy @PritishNandy [^165.5] Twitter bio and stats on 19 November 2012: Journalist, poet, painter. Makes films. Goes to Parliament when elected. Received the International Humanitarian Award at this year's Genesis Awards in LA. Location: Usually Mumbai. · http://pritishnandy.com - 40,424 tweets. 148 following. 266,875 followers. Pritish Nandy moved from Kolkata to Mumbai at age 29.

Peter Griffin @zigzackly

Peter Griffin @zigzackly [^165.6] Twitter bio and stats on 19 November 2012: Student; juvenile; co-founder @Caferati, WorldWideHelp; hack at @Forbes_India, @ForbesLifeIn. Tweets = personal, ≠ endorsements, ≠ views of my employer. Location: Denial, Utopia · http://zigzackly.blogspot.com/ - 5,967 tweets. 712 following. 2,652 followers.

The panelists spoke about how Twitter has changed the way we view and consume writing.

Pritish Nandy opined:

Twitter has showed us how to tell stories in short.

...With diminishing attention spans, I'm not sure a verbose work like the Ulysses will ever be written again, and the social network plays a great part in that.

Peter Griffin, as the youngest member of the panel, spoke about how Twitter can be a genre in itself, comparable to writing haikus. Vir Sanghvi and Pritish Nandy were not ready to declare that Twitter had yet to evolve into an end in itself. Pritish Nandy said: "It's part of a larger picture, a medium you can use to cross-promote your writings in other media."

Twitter has transformed journalism to a far greater extent than novels and other forms of literature, Vir Sanghvi said. "It's still a relatively new medium, and I'm not certain yet how it will affect the novel...But, it has changed journalism in important ways. We've learned to tell our stories shorter. While print has some space for faff, Twitter doesn't."

The above quotes from the Literature Live panel are from: "Twitter is impacting writing, journalism," by Pankti Mehta, Hindustan Times, Mumbai, 2 November 2012,  http://www.hindustantimes.com/Books/LiteraryBuzz/Twitter-is-impacting-writing-journalism/Article1-953661.aspx

Snapshot of the article:  https://twitter.com/SachinKalbag/status/264226529653960704/photo/1

Bios and stats on 19 November 2012 for the author and publisher of the article above, respectively:

Pankti Mehta @panktimehta [^165.7] A little over 140 characters tall, Simpsons-lover/merchandise collector, journalist with the Hindustan Times. Location: Mumbai · instagram.com/panktimehta - 4,997 tweets. 390 following. 642 followers.

Hindustan Times @htTweets [^165.8] One of India's largest media companies. Latest news from around the world. Location: India · http://www.hindustantimes.com - 73,871 tweets. 373 following. 319,265 followers.

Two tweets from the journalist Sreemoy Talukdar ‏serve as a postscript below, issued after Narendra Modi had become India's Prime Minister:

Mainstream print and electronic media pick up Meerut gangrape and religious conversion incident after social media went to town with it.

5 August 2014 Sreemoy Talukdar ‏@sreemoytalukdar [^165.9] https://twitter.com/sreemoytalukdar/status/496756837337681920 Bio: When not digging nose, I ogle at women. Sometimes both at the same time. Location: Kolkata, India. 44,343 tweets. 204 following. 914 followers.

It seems increasingly likely that social media will set the tone and agenda for news. Here, too, Modi has been ahead of the curve.

5 August 2014 Sreemoy Talukdar ‏@sreemoytalukdar [^165.10] https://twitter.com/sreemoytalukdar/status/496756979721728000 Bio: When not digging nose, I ogle at women. Sometimes both at the same time. Location: Kolkata, India. 44,343 tweets. 204 following. 914 followers. Underlining added.

Sachin Kalbag, who moderated the session above, was named the editor of Mid-Day at a time of journalistic scandals in India. It was suggested on Twitter during the scandals that Sachin Kalbag was the most trusted newspaper editor in the country. At the time, shifting to Mid-Day was not seen as a step up to a high-status news organization.

Mid Day Infomedia @mid_day - Twitter bio and stats on 3 December 2013: India's most exciting tabloid! Location: Mumbai, India · mid-day.com - 19,662 tweets. 11 following. 52,357 followers.

At the time of his arrival, Mid-Day was a Mumbai tabloid not known for serious news reporting. Sachin Kalbag changed that. While using photojournalism to tell stories in ways that other media cannot, Sachin Kalbag led Mid-Day to tackle tough subjects and raise the level of debate on important public-policy questions. Mid-Day still covers Bollywood and its glitzy celebrities. Its news reporting and well-edited feature stories have distinguished Mid-Day and earned it a new reputation.

What then became of that country's most prestigious daily?

**The commoditization of the once great Times of** # **India has completed a full circle.**

The front page has been swallowed by an advert.

7 October 2013 sherryrehman ‏@sherryrehman [^165.11] https://twitter.com/sherryrehman/status/387067000063016960 Her bio: Former Pakistan Ambassador to the US/Federal Minister. Chair Jinnah Institute. Will take a bullet for the motherland but hope our children don't have to. Location: Pakistan in my heart. · sherryrehman.com. 6,459 tweets. 513 following. 93,326 followers.

Reply:

@sherryrehman Its the same with #Jang and #TheNews in Pakistan

6 October 2013 Sassi Chandio ‏@SassiChandio [^165.12] https://twitter.com/SassiChandio/status/387067534131748864 Her bio: A Pakistani From Sindh, Human Rights Activist, Social Worker, Keen interest in Media and Journalism. 1,428 tweets. 243 following. 908 followers.

Where is the Times of India front page today? Oh, there it is, hidden on Page 2.

7 October 2013 Sachin Kalbag ‏@SachinKalbag [^165.13] https://twitter.com/SachinKalbag/status/387051867697471488 Bio: Executive Editor at @mid_day. I tweet and RT about Mumbai, current affairs, cosmology, journalism, photography, sports, science. Tweets are personal. Location: Mumbai · mid-day.com. 38,093 tweets. 198 following. 32,049 followers.

To clarify, even if newspapers have _jacket ads_ , the front page starts on a right-hand side, not on P2 or P4. The cover is always on RHS.

7 October 2013 Sachin Kalbag ‏@SachinKalbag [^165.14] https://twitter.com/SachinKalbag/status/387058640584048641 Bio: Executive Editor at @mid_day. I tweet and RT about Mumbai, current affairs, cosmology, journalism, photography, sports, science. Tweets are personal. Location: Mumbai · mid-day.com. 38,093 tweets. 198 following. 32,049 followers. Italics added. "P2 or P4" refers to page 2 or page 4. RHS= right hand side.

Reply:

@SachinKalbag Selling the cover is crass, but I don't see how it's a big deal where the actual front page ends up.

7 October 2013 Jonathan Shainin ‏@jonathanshainin [^165.15] https://twitter.com/jonathanshainin/status/387059556263555072 Bio: Senior editor at The Caravan. http://shain.in – Location: Delhi · caravanmagazine.in. 14,471 tweets. 1,207 following. 17,648 followers.

Jonathan Shainin ‏was a videshi (foreigner) among swadeshis in India. In Shainin's biography above, his domain name Shain.in uses the country-code top-level domain (ccTLD) of India (.in) to complete the meaning of shain, his second-level domain (SLD). This is called a domain hack.

Later that day it was announced that Shainin had been named the news editor of The New Yorker, @NewYorker, effective 14 October 2013.

Before leaving India, Shainin observed that print journalism in India at the time was more important and widespread than television news and Internet-based news outlets. Source:

My exit interview with @errows for @SundayGuardian. A few thoughts on Indian journalism and politics: http://www.sunday-guardian.com/artbeat/shining-a-light-on-the-practice-of-actual-politics

13 October 2013 Jonathan Shainin ‏@jonathanshainin [^165.16 and ^165.17 for his quote below] https://twitter.com/jonathanshainin/status/389351189751406593 Twitter bio: Senior editor at The Caravan. http://shain.in - Location: Delhi · caravanmagazine.in - 14,537 tweets. 1,211 following. 18,167 followers.

The link in the tweet above points to:

"Shining a light on the practice of actual politics - Jonathan Shainin, formerly Senior Editor of The Caravan, tells Atul Dev about his years in India, and his observations on the Indian media, where change might not be as swift as commonly assumed." By Atul Dev, The Sunday Guardian, 12 October 2013, http://www.sunday-guardian.com/artbeat/shining-a-light-on-the-practice-of-actual-politics

Atul Dev @errows [^165.18] Twitter bio and stats on 13 October 2013: Correspondent at Sunday Guardian. Location: Delhi, India · porterfolio.net/atul - 5,069 tweets. 295 following. 159 followers.

The Sunday Guardian @SundayGuardian [^165.19] Twitter bio and stats on 13 October 2013: Weekend reading for the discerning reader. India's Sunday newspaper. Also published in London. Find us on Facebook: http://on.fb.me/ztCwBl - Location: Delhi · sunday-guardian.com - 3,022 tweets. 43 following. 3,876 followers.

Quotes from Atul Dev's interview with Jonathan Shainin:

Q: What were some features of India's political landscape that really stood out to you?

A: I think in a lot of political journalism, there's a neglect of what you might call the practice of actual politics. I think what we have tried to do—though I don't know if we always succeeded—was to get into a little more depth about power and how it works, mostly by focusing on individual people: how people get power, and how people use power. I think what I'm trying to say is that we wanted to write about the way that politics actually works, rather than the sort of soap-opera drama that you see on TV—about how the levers of power actually operate, whether in Delhi or in the states.

• • • • •

Returning to the discussion about the Times of India placing its cover on page two:

@jonathanshainin Navigability. That's the only point. Somehow, a left hand side cover is not a cover.

7 October 2013 Sachin Kalbag ‏@SachinKalbag [^165.20] https://twitter.com/SachinKalbag/status/387063246567378945 Bio: Executive Editor at @mid_day. I tweet and RT about Mumbai, current affairs, cosmology, journalism, photography, sports, science. Tweets are personal. Location: Mumbai · mid-day.com. 38,093 tweets. 198 following. 32,049 followers.

Also, on a personal note, no chance of ever getting a job offer from the Times of India after my tweets today :P

7 October 2013 Sachin Kalbag ‏@SachinKalbag [^165.21] https://twitter.com/SachinKalbag/status/387078773201309696 Bio: Executive Editor at @mid_day. I tweet and RT about Mumbai, current affairs, cosmology, journalism, photography, sports, science. Tweets are personal. Location: Mumbai · mid-day.com. 38,093 tweets. 198 following. 32,049 followers.

What would it be like to work for the Times of India?

Sruthijith KK, the editor of Quartz India, describes the Times of India's social media policy – instituted within a year of Sachin Kalbag's tweet above:

Hundreds of journalists working at the Times of India and its sister publications have received a peculiar request from their employer: hand over your Twitter and Facebook passwords and let us post for you. Even after you leave the company. Under a contract unveiled to employees last week, Bennett, Coleman and Company Ltd—India's largest media conglomerate and publisher of the Times of India, Economic Times, among many other properties—told staffers they are not to post any news links on their personal Twitter and Facebook accounts. This runs counter to many social-media policies in newsrooms across the world, which often encourage journalists to share content widely.

Source of the quote above:

"The Times of India just instituted a bizarre Twitter and Facebook policy," by Sruthijith KK, Quartz, 26 August 2014,  http://qz.com/253025/the-times-of-india-just-instituted-a-bizarre-twitter-and-facebook-policy/ Additional citation information can be found in the TASD bibliography.

Sruthijith @sruthijith – Twitter bio and stats on 28 August 2014: Editor, Quartz India. Location: New Delhi \- qz.com. 8,540 tweets. 4,126 following. 6,936 followers.

Quartz @qz – Twitter bio and stats on 28 August 2014: Quartz is a new kind of global business news outlet. Sign up for the Quartz Daily Brief: https://ssl.qz.com/brief - Location: The World. qz.com. 25,374 tweets. 99 following. 108,116 followers.

See also:

"The Times of India's new contract to journalists: Giving up personal tweets is "in YOUR interest"" by Sruthijith KK, Quartz, 27 August 2014,  http://qz.com/256794/the-times-of-indias-new-contract-to-journalists-giving-up-personal-tweets-is-in-your-interest/

Sachin Kalbag penned a column on the everyday risks of violence and intimidation that news editors face in covering politics in Mumbai:

How to write a column without mentioning Narendra Modi and Rahul Gandhi... My column in @mid_day today  http://www.mid-day.com/columnists/2013/jul/270713-a-free-lesson-in-column-writing.htm

27 July 2013 Sachin Kalbag ‏@SachinKalbag [^165.22] https://twitter.com/SachinKalbag/status/360952248433524736 His Twitter bio and stats on 29 July 2013: Executive Editor at @mid_day. I tweet and RT about Mumbai, current affairs, cosmology, journalism, photography, sports, science. Tweets are personal. Location: Mumbai · mid-day.com. 36,509 tweets. 197 following. 29,237 followers.

The column alludes to Sachin Kalbag's experiences in the lead-up to Narendra Modi's defeat of Rahul Gandhi in national elections in May the following year. The violence and intimidation that Sachin Kalbag describes show no sign of diminishing. The link in his tweet points to:

"A free lesson in column-writing" by Sachin Kalbag. Published as a column in Mid-Day.com, Mumbai, 27 July 2013

 http://www.mid-day.com/columnists/2013/jul/270713-a-free-lesson-in-column-writing.htm

Mid Day Infomedia @mid_day [^165.23] Twitter bio and stats on 3 December 2013: India's most exciting tabloid! Location: Mumbai, India · mid-day.com - 19,662 tweets. 11 following. 52,357 followers.

Sachin Kalbag on microblogging:

**Pro-tip: If you have a quotable quote in your Op-ed keep it to ~110 characters so that it can be RTed here along with the link and name**. :-)

25 July 2013 Sachin Kalbag ‏@SachinKalbag [^165.24] https://twitter.com/SachinKalbag/status/360254506086318082 Twitter bio: Executive Editor at @mid_day. I tweet and RT about Mumbai, current affairs, cosmology, journalism, photography, sports, science. Tweets are personal. Location: Mumbai · mid-day.com - 36,438 tweets. 197 following. 29,094 followers. The tilde mark [~] signifies an approximation.

@SachinKalbag just when I began mastering the 140 character limit, you lower the bar.

25 July 2013 Ramki ‏@ramkid [^165.25] https://twitter.com/ramkid/status/360254852862976001 His Twitter bio: I tweet about Advertising, Books, Cricket, Dad-hood, English, Films.....Yaks, Zippers. Founder, Cartwheel Creative, http://holdingwilley.com . Location: Mumbai. 1,289 tweets. 306 following. 155 followers.

**@ramkid We live and learn** :-)

25 July 2013 Sachin Kalbag ‏@SachinKalbag [^165.26] https://twitter.com/SachinKalbag/status/360255101492932610 Twitter bio: Executive Editor at @mid_day. I tweet and RT about Mumbai, current affairs, cosmology, journalism, photography, sports, science. Tweets are personal. Location: Mumbai · mid-day.com - 36,438 tweets. 197 following. 29,094 followers.

@SachinKalbag True. Like when David Ogilvy said an outdoor hoarding shouldn't have more than 7 words. Or was it 6?

25 July 2013 Ramki ‏@ramkid [^165.27] https://twitter.com/ramkid/status/360257384406450177 His Twitter bio: I tweet about Advertising, Books, Cricket, Dad-hood, English, Films.....Yaks, Zippers. Founder, Cartwheel Creative, http://holdingwilley.com . Location: Mumbai. 1,289 tweets. 306 following. 155 followers.

Hoarding = billboard.

• • • • •

Is it possible to publish a multi-page essay in microlit format? Yes, by starting with a single post and then replying to that opening post. Readers will see all subsequent posts beneath the opening one.

Stylistically, this encourages discrete thoughts to be expressed within 140 characters (minus your @username) at the expense of extended sentences, big words and other hallmarks of Big Style.

On Twitter before 2015, such replies needed to be preceded by the author's own @username in order to construct a thread of consecutive posts. By the middle of that year, the @username no longer needed to be included, as long as the tweet was posted in the context of a reply to the initial post in the thread.

• • • • •

Microbloggers describe the literary impact of microblogging:

Twitter, because everybody wants a second chance to become somebody on their own terms.

12 May 2014 Sam Regrets That She @vodkya [^165.28] ‏https://twitter.com/vodkya/status/465828220424556544 Her bio: I am the dusri ma your ma warned about. Location: Liquor Store on Cloud 8 · devilsattorney.wordpress.com - 6,332 tweets. 253 following. 3,612 followers. Dusri ma in her bio is a South-Asian expression for second mother.

No other generation in the history of humankind had the possibility to express themselves like we do.

Thank you Twitter.

8 June 2012 Miss Wont ‏@MissWont [^165.29] https://twitter.com/MissWont/status/211180656678547456 Bio: Born and Alive. Location: Amsterdam NL. 1,633 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 2 July 2013: Born and Alive. Location: Amsterdam NL · favstar.fm/users/MissWont - 8,556 tweets. 1,748 following. 5,656 followers.

I think all children should be made to tweet.

Develops the need to use succinct vocabulary and a healthy dose of empathy.

8 October 2011 Token_smile ‏@Bashfullsmile [^165.30] https://twitter.com/bashfullsmile/status/122748651406757889 No bio on 17 November 2012, only: http://favstar.fm/users/Bashfullsmile/recent - 27,954 tweets. 1,578 following. 3,637 followers.

The best tweets are the ones that stop the scrolling on my screen and start the scrolling in my brain.

10 December 2011 J ‏@Lipgloss_Nerd [^165.31] https://twitter.com/lipgloss_nerd/status/145712043708792833 Her screen name, bio and stats on 4 March 2013: That Horrible Girl - @UluwatuSiap and I are no longer here. Perhaps we never really were. Unfollow guilt free. Location: Island of Delusions. 1,528 tweets. 628 following. 6,430 followers. Bio and stats on 4 March 2013 of That Rude Cunt @UluwatuSiap - @Lipgloss_Nerd and I are no longer here. Perhaps we never really were. Unfollow guilt free. Location: Island of Delusions. 2,350 tweets. 737 following. 9,441 followers. The last tweets from both accounts were dated 9 December 2012.

Twitter is successful because it speaks to each of us differently.

3 June 2012 Jt ‏@avaricious1 [^165.32] https://twitter.com/avaricious1/status/209273488278695937 - 986 followers. His Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 24 November 2013: who cares @avaricious1 - If Twitter says you're similar to me don't follow me, because you're an idiot. http://audioboo.fm/avaricious1 - favstar.fm/users/avaricious1 - 57,061 tweets. 2,248 following. 3,902 followers.

I'm having an eclectic seizure.

25 October 2012 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^165.33] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/261391408420773888 His bio and stats on 13 November 2012: i was born 'n stuff. Location: Hanging out in my garage. http://favstar.fm/users/RobotThomas - 33,147 tweets. 6,053 following. 5,597 followers.

My tweets are the playlist to your life

20 October 2012 MrsG ‏@MrsGoose69 [^165.34] https://twitter.com/MrsGoose69/status/259771450892906496 Bio: My goal is to make you piss your pants. Either by never wanting to leave, or from laughter. I DON'T FOLLOW EGGS! Pls hatch...I HATE HASHTAGS! Fuck Off! Location: Centre of the Universe http://favstar.fm/users/MrsGoose69/recent - 29,671 tweets. 1,352 following. 10,269 followers.

So You Think You Can Tweet.

7 June 2012 ShoutingGoddess ‏@ShoutingGoddess [^165.35] https://twitter.com/ShoutingGoddess/status/210834039333072896 Her bio and stats on 5 November 2012: Don't read this shit. Go read a book. 101,615 tweets. 2,305 following. 16,629 followers.

check check ~~ one two one two check

10 June 2012 Kiwichettan ‏@BarnabyHM [^165.36] https://twitter.com/BarnabyHM/status/211750703587270657 He was in Wellington, NZ with 1,211 followers. His bio and stats on 9 March 2013: India/cricket writer & boss of timezones - NZ by morning, Australia in the afternoon & India at night. Views own, RTs ≠ endorsements, gravy edukkan marakanda. Location: Wellington, NZ · http://about.me/barnabyhm - 23,487 tweets. 846 following. 1,614 followers.

My name is Mark / And I'm here to say / Various things / On Twitter dot com

*drops mic on foot, holds back tears*

3 October 2012 Mark Leggett ‏@markleggett [^165.37] https://twitter.com/markleggett/status/253704431009427456 His bio and stats the next day: You can tell a lot about a person by reading their bio. Location: New Zealand ∞ · http://markleggett.co.nz/ 14,956 tweets. 620 following. 25,863 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 29 November 2013: You can tell a lot about a person by reading their bio. Location: New Zealand ∞ · society6.com/MarkLeggett - 20,445 tweets. 881 following. 34,985 followers. mic = microphone

Just made a fortune selling abandoned mics I found on the ground.

28 January 2013 OhNo$heTwitnt ‏@OhNoSheTwitnt [^165.38] https://twitter.com/OhNoSheTwitnt/status/295939790568845312 Her bio and stats on 6 February 2013: I do shut-up comedy. (I write jokes on Twitter and avoid real life conversation) My mother's Italian, my father's Jewish and I should be in therapy. Location: Jersey girl living in NC · http://favstar.fm/users/OhNoSheTwitnt/recent - 30,000 tweets. 598 following. 14,467 followers.

Its quiet on the set.

She cracks her knuckles,

and neck,

picks up her phone,

begins to type...

Fuck,

I got nothing.

The crowd stays silent.

17 July 2012 Lisa Laughs ‏@Lisa_Laughs_ [^165.39] https://twitter.com/lisa_laughs_/status/225435532010848257

Her bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I shouted at the devil once. He cried and made me a chicken pot pie. Gordo Pie Osigat Token BBQ · http://favstar.fm/users/Lisa_Laughs_/recent - 57,977 tweets. 4,192 following. 18,790 followers.

I wish I had nothing

2 September 2012 Daria ‏@daria_1024 [^165.40] https://twitter.com/daria_1024/status/242460934721925120 Her Twitter bio and stats 10 September 2012: zzzzzzzzz. Location: PA. 2,545 tweets. 226 following. 57 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 2 June 2013: All this for a carton of eggs. Location: PA. 4,938 tweets. 223 following. 80 followers.

On Twitter, it's not necessarily how funny you are but how dumb you don't mind looking.

10 November 2010 Jamie @Xytrex [^165.41] https://twitter.com/#!/Xytrex/status/2469608971837440 His bio and stats on 13 January 2013: Amused that you think there's something here worth reading. Location: Everett, WA · http://xytrex.tumblr.com/ 13,015 tweets. 705 following. 2,741 followers.

" **It came up in my feed" is a sentence I don't wanna think too much about.**

5 June 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^165.42] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/342242703230246912 Her bio: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · pelsjas.wordpress.com - 17,576 tweets. 2,362 following. 2,434 followers.

If the C era was {}, and the Web era was <>, then what will the [] era bring us? Or did I miss it?

27 June 2012 Martin Geddes ‏@martingeddes [^165.43] https://twitter.com/martingeddes/status/217978201257943041 His bio and stats on 16 April 2013: Telecoms strategy consultant with special interests in network performance engineering, polyservice networks, and hypervoice technology. Location: London · http://www.martingeddes.com/ - 9,982 tweets. 1,484 following. 2,197 followers. Martin Geddes tweets about the future of voice and communication.

In his tweet, Martin Geddes refers to the distinctive syntactical elements of each era. {Curly brackets} are used in some computer programming languages to define the beginning and end of blocks of code or data. Languages that use this syntactical convention are in the _curly bracket family_ of programming languages.

In contrast, HTML and XML denote tags and other elements through the use of <pointy brackets>.

[Square brackets] are distinctive of the microblogging era.

[Insert self-loathing witticism here] [Insert sad emoticon here] [Send]

29 June 2012 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^165.44] https://twitter.com/schmoodles/status/218586180067917824 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

• • • • •

I'm becoming increasingly concerned that my entire knowledge of current affairs is coming from you fuckers..

28 June 2012 Token Geezer ‏@Token_Geezer [^165.45] https://twitter.com/Token_Geezer/status/218290045617053696 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I'm just a minor threat. Location: London · http://favstar.fm/users/Token_Geezer - 30,079 tweets. 862 following. 8,334 followers.

Twitter can provide faster and better news than any other source. Anyone can break news on Twitter. News stories, photos and videos often appear on Twitter before being picked up by mainstream media.

Some days it is even funnier than others to see how far behind the news newspapers are.

5 May 2014 Jehangir Pocha ‏@JehangirPocha [^165.46] https://twitter.com/JehangirPocha/status/463544691959422976 Bio: Editor-in-Chief at NewsX, fmr Editor of Businessworld & China corresp for the Boston Globe. Views personal. Won't engage with anonymous accounts. RTs just RTs. Location: New Delhi. newsx.com. Tweets 9,954 tweets. 266 following. 6,222 followers.

A single tweet can summarize the top news stories of the day, as Jeremiah Owyang demonstrates:

News Summary: US women to serve in combat, Facebook boots competitors, Samsung grows, North Korea needs a naptime.

6:31 a.m. PST Friday, 25 January 2013 Jeremiah Owyang ‏@jowyang [^165.47] https://twitter.com/jowyang/status/294814761726652416 Bio: Industry Analyst, Partner at Altimeter Group. Some tweets publish on timer. How I use Twitter http://bit.ly/LK0i Location: Silicon Valley, CA · http://web-strategist.com/blog - 37,841 tweets. 13,319 following. 120,073 followers. Bio and stats on 27 April 2015: Founder of http://CrowdCompanies.com @CrowdCompanies, and housemate to @goodboyrumba - Location: Silicon Valley, CA - web-strategist.com/blog - 57,709 tweets. 18,513 following. 161,010 followers.

Remember when we used to make fun of old people who clipped newspaper articles and sent them to each other? That's literally all we do now.

9 August 2013 Julia Santo ‏@lookitsjulia [^165.48] https://twitter.com/lookitsjulia/status/365914172774563841 Twitter bio and stats on 17 August 2013: a tension seeker. Location: Emerald City · lookitsjulia.tumblr.com. 7,040 tweets. 294 following. 846 followers. Seattle is one of several to use the nickname Emerald City. Early on 17 August 2013 this tweet was found to have 6,355 retweets and 3,306 favorites.

Tweeting about breaking news can grow tiresome, as this tweet pre-emptively lampoons:

Be the first to break the news on Twitter that Altaf Hussain has been arrested. DO IT IN CAPS. There's still time.

9:04 a.m. his time, GMT/UTC, 3 June 2014 David Steven ‏@davidsteven [^165.49] https://twitter.com/davidsteven/status/473752061377773568 Bio: International relations, global risks, resilience. Also Pakistan, Nigeria. At: Center on International Cooperation, NYU; Brookings, River Path; Global Dashboard. Location: England. globaldashboard.org - 20,809 tweets. 1,907 following. 4,524 followers.

Altaf Hussain is a Pakistani politician who had been living in London, where he had been granted asylum in 1992. He was the founder and undisputed leader of the Muttahida Quami Movement (MQM), the fourth largest political party in Pakistan and the major political force in the cities of Karachi and Hyderabad, Sindh. The MQM was formed in the 1980s to represent the Urdu-speaking muhajir community. Muhajirs are the descendents of immigrants who came from India during the Partition of the British Indian Empire in 1947. Altaf Hussain is famed for breaking into song during his press conferences and extended televised addresses. Following his arrest in London in connection with a money-laundering case, the Karachi Stock Exchange (KSE-100 index) dropped 780 points. Shops and commercial centers across Karachi shuttered their doors as the city descended into chaos.

50 minutes later, from Karachi:

Oh yeah, shit's going down.

3 June 2014 hiranajam ‏@hiranajam [^165.50] https://twitter.com/hiranajam/status/473751740689293312 Her bio: shoes / music / internet junkie / Creative Editor for http://www.Carbonated.TV / part time philosopher & food blogger / I balance. Location: Karachi. carbonated.tv – 48,701 tweets. 121 following. 2,803 followers.

Half of the office is empty, the other half is panicking. I'm waiting for my car to show up :/

3 June 2014 hiranajam ‏@hiranajam [^165.51] https://twitter.com/hiranajam/status/473755244577300481 Her bio: shoes / music / internet junkie / Creative Editor for http://www.Carbonated.TV / part time philosopher & food blogger / I balance. Location: Karachi. carbonated.tv – 48,701 tweets. 121 following. 2,803 followers.

"I demand a trial by combat" - Altaf Hussain.

3 June 2014 Hamster ‏@Hamster41 [^165.52] https://twitter.com/Hamster41/status/473755262809944065 Bio: Muslim, Pakistani, Arsenal fan and master of mediocrity. I'm the fat kid at the back of the class who would have been hot if he was skinny. hamstershorts.wordpress.com. 79,542 tweets. 992 following. 4,711 followers.

The above tweet parodies the bellicose rhetorical style of MQM Supremo Altaf bhai (brother Altaf) as he is affectionately known.

Twitter makes it easy to start your day with outrage at corrupt politicians and seamlessly switch to amusement at celebrities by lunchtime.

2 April 2014 Laila Lalami ‏@LailaLalami [^165.53] https://twitter.com/LailaLalami/status/451755467451015168 Her bio and stats on 1 May 2014: Writer by day (Hope & Other Dangerous Pursuits, Secret Son, The Moor's Account.) Mutant superhero by night. Location: Rabat / Los Angeles · lailalalami.com. 8,810 tweets. 187 following. 19,823 followers.

While Twitter is a great source of information its also a great source of disinformation. Tweet wisely today

#PakistanElections2013

11 May 2013 Fifi Haroon ‏@fifiharoon [^165.54] https://twitter.com/fifiharoon/status/333107973289287680 Her bio: Launched a TV channel, sang with a band called Junoon. Currently BBC Global News/WS Project Lead, Pakistan. Views my own, RTs not. Can be stirred but not shaken. Location: London · http://www.youtube.com/user/fifiharoon - 67,079 tweets. 440 following. 17,937 followers.

Tweeted during national elections in Pakistan, which Fifi Haroon was covering. A popular means of spreading disinformation is for old photographs to be posted with claims that they represent a current event.

watching the livetweets of a presidential Q & A is a pretty compelling argument for newspapers

20 December 2013 Kelsey D. Atherton ‏@AthertonKD [^165.55] https://twitter.com/AthertonKD/status/414126559528636416 Bio: High volume feed. Tweets mostly national security. I cover defense technology for Popular Science, Sci-Fi strategy at Grand Blog Tarkin. Views mine alone. Location: Washington, Drone City · http://www.popsci.com/category/popsci-authors/kelsey-d-atherton - 66,405 tweets. 1,390 following. 3,054 followers. Q & A = question and answer.

Has Twitter had a negative impact on news reporting and original journalism?

Alarming to read articles based solely on media reports and twitter. What, if it's not in your inbox there's no other reality?

9 August 2013 Jennie Matthew ‏@jenniematthew [^165.56] https://twitter.com/jenniematthew/status/365759407813959681 Her bio: AFP news editor Pakistan/Afghanistan. Previously in Sudan, Jerusalem and Cyprus. Location: Islamabad. 3,297 tweets. 1,025 following. 3,864 followers. Her display photo at the time showed her fully veiled, except for the eyes. Tweeted on Eid al Fitr.

Reasonably high proportion of journalism today consists of either writing about other journalists or reporting what's happening on Twitter.

27 March 2013 Murtaza Hussain ‏@MazMHussain [^165.57] https://twitter.com/MazMHussain/status/316966925005647873 His bio: Tweets politics, international relations, economics. Contributor @AJEnglish & others. If I say something outrageous maybe I'm joking. Opinions mine alone. Location: Toronto · http://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/opinion/profile/murtaza-hussain.html \- 24,651 tweets. 569 following. 3,766 followers.

• • • • •

When's the cutoff for people referring to themselves as part of "new media"?

Unless you're reporting using SnapChat, knock it off.

5 January 2014 Gary Owen ‏@ElSnarkistani - https://twitter.com/ElSnarkistani/status/420036833398243328 Bio: Married. Cynic. Pseudonymous blogger. For all Afghanistan all the time, follow me over @Sunny_In_Kabul. Also at @AANAfgh, @Medium, @blurbistan. Location: Afghanistan, currently · about.me/Gary_Owen \- 36,150 tweets. 916 following. 3,331 followers. His Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 11 January 2014: Gary Owen @GWOT_Hipster \- Previously ElSnarkistani. Full time husband/introvert, part-time pseudonymous blogger. Also @Sunny_In_Kabul. Contributor to @AANAfgh. Location: Afghanistan, currently · sunnyinkabul.com - 36,715 tweets. 942 following. 3,361 followers. GWOT = Global War On Terror, which began on 7 October 2001. It had its origins in the 1980s. On 26 March 2014 he was found to have reverted to El Snarkistani ‏@ElSnarkistani [^165.58].

• • • • •

Microliterature compels other forms of writing to more aggressively seek our attention and spark our curiosity. Book and article titles reflect this escalation in attention seeking between microliterature and everything else.

All writing is a quest for visibility.

10 April 2014 Laila Lalami ‏@LailaLalami [^165.59] https://twitter.com/LailaLalami/status/454414592110645248 Her bio and stats on 1 May 2014: Writer by day (Hope & Other Dangerous Pursuits, Secret Son, The Moor's Account.) Mutant superhero by night. Location: Rabat / Los Angeles · lailalalami.com. 8,810 tweets. 187 following. 19,823 followers.

More on microblogging's impacts:

I have goals. One of them is to finish the book I started the day before I discovered Twitter.

4 October 2011 Cindy ‏@EdwinaCrumple [^165.60] https://twitter.com/EdwinaCrumple/status/121420731245527040 Her bio and stats on 17 November 2012: And yes, When I see football players in a huddle on tv, I do think there is a chance they are talking about me. favstar.fm/users/EdwinaCrumple - 53,403 tweets. 2,268 following. 2,378 followers.

Average novel = 90000 words & average tweet is 15 words =every 6000 tweets you've written a novel, mostly about weather & celebrities dying.

13 July 2012 Sam Copeland ‏@stubbleagent [^165.61] https://twitter.com/stubbleagent/status/223700825392955392 Bio: Secret agent in my mind. Literary agent in reality. Work at Rogers, Coleridge and White. 20% charm 80% offensive. Publishing jackanape. Never-nude. Location: London. 4,232 tweets. 476 following. 3,010 followers.

For Halloween I'm going as Twitter. One minute I'll be in your face talking a mile-a-minute, the next I'll be aloof and unavailable.

16 October 2009 Joe Schmitt ‏@joeschmitt [^165.62] https://twitter.com/joeschmitt/status/4916466347 His bio and stats on 22 March 2013: the second T is silent. Location: Chicago · http://joeschmitt.tumblr.com/post/143209840/joeschmitt - 11,550 tweets. 2,367 following. 7,306 followers.

Twitter became a lot more fun for me once I stopped focusing on my tweets and started paying attention to other people's

29 May 2012 El Jefe ‏@ElJefe121 - https://twitter.com/ElJefe121/status/207701003011756032 His screen name, ID, profile and stats on 12 December 2012: Rap Game Jeffrey @RapGameJefe - Con. http://favstar.fm/users/RapGameJefe/recent - 10,871 tweets. 464 following. 1,821 followers. His Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 4 August 2013: OG Jefe @OGJefe [^165.63] Con. Location: On the run · favstar.fm/users/OGJefe/recent - 18,294 tweets. 265 following. 2,367 followers.

Wait, it's NOT rocket science? I think I'm doing it wrong.

29 May 2012 Just E ‏@Elizacal [^165.64] https://twitter.com/Elizacal/status/207664686324387842 - 114 followers. Her bio and stats on 24 November 2013: even autocorrect has no idea where i'm going with this. 1,391 tweets. 487 following. 260 followers.

It's incredibly discouraging to know that we're the best Twitter has to offer.

23 January 2013 Glenyrd Skynyrd ‏@glenyrd [^165.65] https://twitter.com/glenyrd/status/294016980397211648 Bio and stats on 11 February 2013: Everything you like is stupid and that's why I made a Twitter. Location: Los Angeles, CA. 6,584 tweets. 589 following. 2,882 followers.

The best tweets are kept private.

2 February 2013 Bitch_In_Me ‏@BitchingMe [^165.66] https://twitter.com/BitchingMe/status/297794126970228736 Her bio and stats on 28 February 2013: In love with my Reality so don't bother. My DM has autodelete function. And FYI, manners matter. Location: Somewhere but not there · http://favstar.fm/users/BitchingMe/recent - 17,514 tweets. 10,546 following. 11,287 followers.

Unlock your accounts so we can judge you.

19 December 2011 Chrisanna4real ‏@chrisanna4real [^165.67] https://twitter.com/chrisanna4real/status/148875680506060802 Her bio and stats on 27 October 2012: I RT A LOT. My life will make you laugh. I'm drunk a lot. Beer me. Most at home in @chopper4jk's pants and my best girl is @the_martinigirl. IG: chrisanna4real Location: So Cal, that's all you get. · http://favstar.fm/users/chrisanna4real - 31,994 tweets. 9,265 following. 17,404 followers.

I'm about to try to follow somebody with a locked account.

They got over 1,000 followers & 1 tweet.

I gotta see this fucking tweet

29 May 2012 Pierre ‏@Pierre__4 [^165.68] https://twitter.com/Pierre__4/status/207466203365646337 Bio: I'm a New Orleans Fire Fighter not an English Teacher. If my spelling, grammar or puncuation piss you off, you should hear me talk. Location: New Orleans, Louisiana. 1,574 followers. His Twitter bio and stats on 8 September 2013: I'm a New Orleans Fire Fighter not an English Teacher. If my spelling, grammar or puncuation piss you off, you should hear me talk. Location: New Orleans, Louisiana · favstar.fm/users/Pierre__4 - 2,651 tweets. 1,394 following. 2,742 followers.

Just broke into a protected account.

It's even better than we thought.

Jokes flow like wine.

Set-ups we never even considered.

So beautiful.

7 July 2012 Guy Endore-Kaiser ‏@GuyEndoreKaiser [^165.69] https://twitter.com/GuyEndoreKaiser/status/221776235276152834 Twitter bio and stats on 24 November 2013: The Millers, CBS. Location: Hollywood · favstar.fm/users/GuyEndoreKaiser - 622 tweets. 717 following. 73,738 followers.

Sometimes you come across a tweet that's so good that a star and RT aren't good enough. You have to mail them a dead rabbit too.

19 April 2012 Alene Parr ‏@aleneparr [^165.70] https://twitter.com/#!/aleneparr/status/193138971256172545 Her bio and stats on 27 November 2012: Psychology Student. Sweatervest Enthusiast. Professional Cynic. Cheese Connoisseur. This is stuff I think about. http://favstar.fm/users/aleneparr - Location: Ontario · http://alenetalks.blogspot.ca/ - 6,830 tweets. 4,513 following. 7,090 followers.

Twitter, I love your madness

20 June 2012 Kitty Fantastic!!! ‏@scarysherry777 - https://twitter.com/scarysherry777/status/215698903058759680 Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 28 May 2013: βιυε ❦ @SerpentineFlesh [^165.71] Flesh Charmer. Location: Pale Blue Dot · favstar.fm/users/SerpentineFlesh - 29,530 tweets. 720 following. 968 followers.

It was either twitter or medical school, really.

21 June 2012 Mae ‏@mzeld [^165.72] https://twitter.com/mzeld/status/216046720189071360 Her bio and stats on 12 November 2012: LET'S DO TWEETS OFF EACH OTHER'S BUTTS http://www.internet.com - 16,846 tweets. 698 following. 21,805 followers.

"We love your tweets! How would you like to write for our sitcom?"

"REALLY?"

"No. Not really. I'll have that steak medium well. Thanks."

31 January 2012 Craig S. ‏@YUCKYBOT [^165.73] https://twitter.com/#!/YUCKYBOT/status/164550455987421184 His bio and stats on 18 November 2012: McGriddle Enthusiast,Once Was Forced To Sit Through 'CATS' With Poopy Underwear. RESPECT THIS PINK TOWEL!*BEEP BOOP* Location: Norwich, CT · http://pinktowels.tumblr.com/ - 16,016 tweets. 675 following. 25,252 followers. His display photo showed him with a pink towel draped over his head.

I don't dumb my tweets down. It's all natural.

1 February 2012 nerdamage @nerdamage [^165.74] https://twitter.com/#!/nerdamage/status/164657048066338816 His bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,477 tweets. 3,154 following. 9,233 followers.

A funny tweet would really stand out in this environment.

19 December 2011 Jocelyn Plums @FilthyRichmond [^165.75] https://twitter.com/#!/FilthyRichmond/status/148610580696154115 Twitter bio and stats on 5 March 2013 for Jocelyn Plums @FilthyRichmond - Kiss Mommy's cold sore and make it better! #RVA http://FilthyRichmond.com Location: Richmond, VA · http://favstar.fm/users/filthyrichmond/recent - 9,914 tweets. 3,384 following. 65,783 followers.

Posted on a day marked by the absence of humor.

OMG this tweet is so funny

4 September 2012 clinton john ‏@clington [^165.76] https://twitter.com/clington/status/243005404647395330 His bio and stats on 20 September 2012: I love Music, dogs & all the animals, fluffy clouds, quiet shady spots. Digital creative, sometimes illustrator & picture maker. Location: Johannesburg South Africa. 2,818 tweets. 444 following. 224 followers.

Had Greek yogurt for breakfast so that was a fun thing.

Am I finally doing twitter right?

this is boring

19 July 2012 foxy j ‏@idreamofmayo [^165.77] https://twitter.com/idreamofmayo/status/225988661035036673 - 342 followers. Her bio and stats on 18 November 2012: kid at heart but not liver http://favstar.fm/users/idreamofmayo Location: (Hou/Bo) ston. 3,402 tweets. 231 following. 329 followers. No account with this ID found on 7 April 2013. She lost followers in the months after this tweet, leading up to her twittercide.

A Scandinavian car company called Fjord. I dunno. What are we doing here?

3 October 2012 justin s. ‏@Spotzwoj [^165.78] https://twitter.com/Spotzwoj/status/253609575528402944 His bio and stats on 6 October 2012: etc... Location: DC burbs. http://favstar.fm/users/spotzwoj/recent - 8,235 tweets. 985 following. 4,166 followers.

Nice try, people with 'nice try' tweets, nice try.

11 September 2012 ReeseButCallMeMojo ‏@mojo_bones_ [^165.79] https://twitter.com/mojo_bones_/status/245503528943116289 Bio: Virginia Beach via Detroit. 23,597 tweets. 4,796 following. 5,017 followers.

I hope I never get tired of this tweet.

17 May 2013 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^165.80] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/335599252522815488 His bio: eh soundcloud.com/nerdamage-1/warning - 17,760 tweets. 3,445 following. 12,491 followers.

One night we should all choose different topics to tweet about.

10:38 p.m. PST, 11 September 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^165.81] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/245758378918436864 His bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,477 tweets. 3,154 following. 9,233 followers.

Gonna open a puppet store called "Hands Up!"

[i think i need to take a break from all this for a while]

2 October 2012 Karen (Tozzi) ‏@karentozzi [^165.82] https://twitter.com/karentozzi/status/253248696412676096 Her bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I like you. Believe it. Location: 27.1167° S, 109.3667° W · http://vimeo.com/user12097123 - 11,812 tweets. 403 following. 1,774 followers.

Kind of frightening when you consider that people are putting their best foot forward here.

22 July 2012 Just Bill ‏@WilliamAder [^165.83] https://twitter.com/williamader/status/227203877576003584 Bio: I'll be here all weak. 5,196 tweets. 4,024 following. 6,827 followers. His bio and stats on 30 October 2012: I'll be here all weak. http://favstar.fm/users/WilliamAder - 6,610 tweets. 4,007 following. 9,539 followers.

Do I need to break out the big guns?

3 August 2012 Tracey ‏@DeepSigh_ [^165.84] https://twitter.com/DeepSigh_/status/231533116043431936 Her bio and follower count on 22 March 2012: just tweeting my random thoughts and observations. i eat the green m&m' s first. 389 followers. No account with this ID found on 10 May 2013.

"this is gonna be the one" i say, softly weeping, to myself about every tweet i write

9 May 2014 ben ‏@benicus_rex [^165.85] https://twitter.com/benicus_rex/status/463831234938826752 Bio and stats on 10 May 2014: DAMN IT;S TRUE!!1 - http://favstar.fm/users/benicus_rex - 5,354 tweets. 328 following. 745 followers.

If this goes any further, I'm going to have to bust out my rhyming dictionary.

25 September 2012 Ghetto Trophy @Ghetto_Trophy [^165.86] https://twitter.com/Ghetto_Trophy/status/250776888753156098 Her bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I'm the Forrest Gump of this place. http://ghettotrophy.tumblr.com/ Location: United Nations/San Francisco · http://favstar.fm/users/Ghetto_Trophy/recent - 38,533 tweets. 3,560 following. 7,789 followers.

Tried writing a poem about Twitter.

Er, this shit is really getting real, you guys!

6 May 2012 The Nerdist ‏@damagednerd [^165.87] https://twitter.com/damagednerd/status/199318449489575936 Screen name, bio and stats on 4 March 2013: Arjit Srivastava @damagednerd Do not ask who I am and do not ask me to remain the same. http://favstar.fm/users/damagednerd - 397 tweets. 52 following. 91 followers.

I'd put more effort into this if there was shit like a Pulitzer to be won.

14 June 2012 Faizzy! ‏@FaisalAdam_ [^165.88] https://twitter.com/faisaladam_/status/213378618301235200 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: Growing up, I had lots of nicknames but my best would always be 'Officer! That's him over there'... It gave me my sprinter's physique. Location: under the name, bobofay · http://favstar.fm/users/faisaladam_ 45,961 tweets. 1,474 following. 7,472 followers.

I'm on the cusp of a Pulitzer worthy tweet.

27 November 2012 Ghetto Trophy ‏@Ghetto_Trophy [^165.89] https://twitter.com/Ghetto_Trophy/status/273388678406107137 Her bio and stats on 28 November 2012: I'm the Forrest Gump of this place. http://ghettotrophy.tumblr.com/ - Location: United Nations/San Francisco · http://favstar.fm/users/Ghetto_Trophy/recent - 41,460 tweets. 3,598 following. 8,902 followers.

If you take Twitter personally, you're doing life wrong.

If you take life seriously, you're doing Twitter wrong.

6 March 2011 Mae @HerMaeness - https://twitter.com/#!/HerMaeness/status/44464334532911104 She changed her ID to @mzeld [^165.90] and had this bio and stats on 12 November 2012: LET'S DO TWEETS OFF EACH OTHER'S BUTTS http://www.internet.com - 16,846 tweets. 698 following. 21,805 followers.

If I'm doing twitter wrong, I don't want to be right.

17 October 2012 He Man Woman Hater ‏@miss_ogyny [^165.91] https://twitter.com/miss_ogyny/status/258647053322833920 Her bio and stats on 19 October 2012: @muthafuckinben thinks I'm funny. @fapanislives thinks I'm a lazy shit. @randomlymj feeds me cookies. Only one of these statements is true. Location: ta-raw-na (ish) http://favstar.fm/users/miss_ogyny 6,391 tweets. 1,583 following. 2,999 followers.

be one of us: a self-deluded dreamer

30 December 2013 NYT Minus Context ‏@NYTMinusContext [^165.92] https://twitter.com/NYTMinusContext/status/417789962021769217 Bio and stats on 17 January 2014: All Tweets Verbatim From New York Times Content. Not Affiliated with New York Times. Follow @NYTPlusContext for context. NYTMinusContext@gmail.com - 1,244 tweets. 911 following. 10.854 followers.

The New York Times @nytimes [^165.93] Twitter bio and stats on 17 January 2014: Where the conversation begins. Follow for breaking news, special reports, http://NYTimes.com homepage links and RTs of our journalists. Location: New York City · nytimes.com -124,082 tweets. 854 following. 10,681,262 followers.

Tweeting is such a relaxing break after all that life.

29 June 2012 Adrian Woodworth ‏@navanax [^165.94] https://twitter.com/navanax/status/218627262029893634 Bio and stats on 20 December 2012: I am not bitter, I am resentful. There is a difference. One may be resentful and still taste great. Location: The Big Smoke · http://favstar.fm/users/navanax/recent - 1,997 tweets. 3,527 following. 6,933 followers.

Twitter > Real life - because you can choose the people you want to talk to

2 May 2014 The Bad Doctor ‏@doctoratlarge [^165.95] https://twitter.com/doctoratlarge/status/462171319384432640 Bio: When you're good, people love you. When you're bad, you love yourself. doctoratlarge.wordpress.com. 55,632 tweets. 357 following. 39,696 followers. Twitter > Real life = Twitter is better than real life.

When someone from my REAL LIFE says, "I follow you on twitter!" it sounds exactly like, "I watch surveillance footage of your psyche!"

17 January 2012 Ahm @Ahm76 [^165.96] https://twitter.com/#!/Ahm76/status/159505531948634112 Her Twitter bio and stats on 23 July 2013: Don't get weird just cause I'm bleeding. Location: Hollywood, CA · myfavoritestranger.com - 11,439 tweets. 442 following. 20,330 followers.

Does this Internet persona make me look stable?

22 May 2012 Nicole Betz ‏@TomHanksIsHot [^165.97] https://twitter.com/#!/TomHanksIsHot/status/205119311923253249 Her Twitter bio and stats on 12 June 2013: I laugh at jokes I understand. Location: Los Angeles, CA · about.me/nicolebetz - 8,327 tweets. 908 following. 9,664 followers.

Twitter is a great way to find out exactly how deranged or stupid people can be.

26 May 2012 Pax Paxochka ‏@Paxochka [^165.98] https://twitter.com/paxochka/status/206463567136952320 Her bio and stats on 24 October 2012: Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch'entrate. Location: Down Under · http://paxochka.tumblr.com/explainingfavstar - 57,522 tweets. 4,796 following. 18,932 followers.

In addition to the 'gold star' there needs to be a 'I support your 1st Amendment Right to Free Speech, but that shit is messed up' button.

5 July 2012 llvvzz ‏@lvvzz [^165.99] https://twitter.com/lvvzz/status/221003834896551939 Her screen name, ID, bio and stats on 13 December 2012: PrincessCandyEmpire3 @lvvzz. I am not your perception of me. I control your perception of me. http://facebook.com/llvvzzz See @llvvzzz for #FF Tweet~Mates! http://llvvzz.com Tweets @llvvzz. Location: I Own A Chihuahua · http://favstar.fm/users/lvvzz - 208 tweets. 3,878 following. 3,945 followers.

I used to think that the well-adjusted ones among you had an unfair advantage on Twitter, but now I wonder if it isn't more of a handicap.

25 May 2012 peckishly ‏@peckishly [^165.100] https://twitter.com/peckishly/status/206205330798034946 Bio and stats on 10 November 2012: In a parallel universe, someone else is wearing your pants. Purveyor of laughable tweets since April, 2011. Location: Over here! · http://favstar.fm/users/peckishly - 10,644 tweets. 1,105 following. 1,214 followers.

My mom just read a tweet and said, "Wow, that kid needs to have sex."

There's no joke here, I'll leave you to wonder who's tweet it was.

30 April 2012 Alene Parr ‏@aleneparr [^165.101] https://twitter.com/#!/aleneparr/status/197155739423350784 Her bio and stats on 27 November 2012: Psychology Student. Sweatervest Enthusiast. Professional Cynic. Cheese Connoisseur. This is stuff I think about. http://favstar.fm/users/aleneparr - Location: Ontario · http://alenetalks.blogspot.ca/ - 6,830 tweets. 4,513 following. 7,090 followers.

"You don't understand, mom, Twitter gets me! Twitter GETS me!" ~ me yelling into an empty closet.

28 February 2013 Chroma Geddon ‏@ChromaGeddon [^165.102] https://twitter.com/ChromaGeddon/status/307141748575059969 Bio and stats on 21 April 2013: It's ~Dr~ Geddon, if you don't mind. I earned my title from an accredited online college of mixology that I hacked. Location: San Diego, CA · http://iwav.es/setmusicfree - 8,314 tweets. 463 following. 840 followers.

tweetophilia: a sexual attraction to tweets

26 November 2012 Mαtt Thomαs ‏@mattthomas [^165.103] https://twitter.com/mattthomas/status/273177894610669568 Bio and stats on 27 November 2012: Born and raised in Seattle. BA from @USC. Currently a PhD candidate in American Studies at @uiowa working on a dissertation about life hacking. Location: Iowa City, Iowa · http://submittedforyourperusal.com - 45,104 tweets. 997 following. 1,915 followers.

The irony of social media is that the majority of users are all alone.

3 October 2010 Pax Paxochka ‏@Paxochka [^165.104] https://twitter.com/#!/Paxochka/status/26317821634 Her bio and stats on 24 October 2012: Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch'entrate. Location: Down Under · http://paxochka.tumblr.com/explainingfavstar - 57,522 tweets. 4,796 following. 18,932 followers.

My friends think I'm crazy.

Both of them.

19 May 2012 Tracey ‏@DeepSigh_ [^165.105] https://twitter.com/#!/DeepSigh_/status/204050419100561408 Her bio and follower count on 22 March 2012: just tweeting my random thoughts and observations. i eat the green m&m' s first. 389 followers. No account with this ID found on 10 May 2013.

Goodnight, you crazy people who live in my phone. I'll leave the light on for you, but the door is double deadbolted.

10 June 2012 January James ‏@JanuaryJames [^165.106] https://twitter.com/januaryjames/status/212060897265455106 Her bio and stats on 8 August 2012: I'm an investigative writer/journalist. I am who I am. Take me or leave me. I'm the product of a schizophrenic writer. Location: Inside My Own Head. 23,527 tweets. 1,075 following. 2,254 followers. Her bio and stats on 8 March 2013: I'm a sympath & the product of a schizophrenic writer. Sometimes I'm funny. Joey Ramone is my love. Peter Steele is my boyfriend. @siren_sweet is my blessing. Location: In a Field of Purple Flowers · http://favstar.fm/users/JanuaryJames - 43,043 tweets. 1,962 following. 6,616 followers.

Twitter is my homeless person...

22 May 2012 МrsG ‏@MrsGoose69 [^165.107] https://twitter.com/#!/MrsGoose69/status/204952474866561026 Her bio and stats on 11 November 2012: My goal is to make you piss your pants. Either by never wanting to leave, or from laughter. I DON'T FOLLOW EGGS! Pls hatch...I HATE HASHTAGS! Fuck Off! Location: Centre of the Universe · http://favstar.fm/users/MrsGoose69/recent \- 30,583 tweets. 1,338 following. 10,653 followers.

I hope I don't fall in love with someone anytime soon or my tweets will totally start to SUCK.

2 April 2012 Alene Parr ‏@aleneparr [^165.108] https://twitter.com/#!/aleneparr/status/186965672570527744 Her bio and stats on 27 November 2012: Psychology Student. Sweatervest Enthusiast. Professional Cynic. Cheese Connoisseur. This is stuff I think about. http://favstar.fm/users/aleneparr - Location: Ontario · http://alenetalks.blogspot.ca/ - 6,830 tweets. 4,513 following. 7,090 followers.

We would have written extremely entertaining and inexpensive telegrams.

14 July 2012 Just Bill ‏@WilliamAder [^165.109] https://twitter.com/WilliamAder/status/224216989894324224 His bio and stats on 30 October 2012: I'll be here all weak. http://favstar.fm/users/WilliamAder - 6,610 tweets. 4,007 following. 9,539 followers.

I knew I was arriving somewhere. I just didn't know it was here.

9 June 2012 Miss Wont ‏@MissWont [^165.110] https://twitter.com/MissWont/status/211552736750211072 Her Twitter bio and stats on 2 July 2013: Born and Alive. Location: Amsterdam NL · favstar.fm/users/MissWont - 8,556 tweets. 1,748 following. 5,656 followers.

twitter: because you're worth it.

28 January 2012 Sweet P @preawsaurus [^165.111] https://twitter.com/#!/preawsaurus/status/163277429425709056 Her bio and stats on 8 November 2012: i am nice. at least that's the way i perceive myself. i could be wrong. Location: Tellus · http://favstar.fm/users/preawsaurus/most_retweeted - 12,197 tweets. 910 following. 8,090 followers.

Tweet like 99% of your followers don't read your tweets.

Cuz guess what?

That number's accurate.

15 December 2012 Bill Mc7 ‏@BillMc7 [^165.112] https://twitter.com/BillMc7/status/275383426100625408 His bio and stats on 14 December 2012: Writer for Ladies' Home Journal and Penthouse Forum. Location: Los Angeles · http://favstar.fm/users/BillMc7 - 5,933 tweets. 1,238 following. 31,033 followers.

**Friend asked, "Why Twitter? It's just a bunch of narcissistic pervs"**.

Once again, the question is the answer.

15 March 2012 Just ileah ‏@ileahtogo - https://twitter.com/ileahtogo/status/180492742705692673 Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 26 November 2013: Sileah @_theigirl [^165.113] Working on training Octopuses as service animals: for when you absolutely need a shitload of stuff done at once. favstar.fm/users/_theigirl - 36,699 tweets. 5,571 following. 6,577 followers.

I'm writing a Young Adult novel about a dystopian society in which all entertainment is aimed at 13-year-olds.

19 May 2012 Andy Borowitz ‏@BorowitzReport [^165.114] https://twitter.com/#!/BorowitzReport/status/204035817004478464 Tweet not found on 10 May 2013. Bio and stats on 10 May 2013: There is a fine line between social networking and wasting your fucking life. Location: New York · http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/ 139 tweets. 34 following. 458,209 followers.

Siri, text all of my enemies the endings to the book they are reading

25 Feb 12 foxy j ‏@idreamofmayo [^165.115] https://twitter.com/#!/idreamofmayo/status/173614117310050305 Her bio and stats on 18 November 2012: kid at heart but not liver http://favstar.fm/users/idreamofmayo Location: (Hou/Bo) ston. 3,402 tweets. 231 following. 329 followers. No account with this ID found on 7 April 2013.

Don't become the internet. Let the internet become you.

7 August 2011 DAFT YOUR PUNK @IAmAntilia [^165.116] http://twitter.com/#!/IAmAntilia/status/100152545082753024 Her Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 29 July 2013, when this tweet was found to have been deleted: IAmAntilia @IAmAntilia - Ohmygod I moved back home. Get me out of here, now! Nah, it's cool, I'll just start drinking heavily again. Location: SoCal, USA. 929 tweets. 382 following. 865 followers. Her most recent tweet as of 29 July 2013 was dated 28 February 2013.

Not today Twitter. Not today.

9 January 2012 Theodora Chester @beingtheo [^165.117] https://twitter.com/#!/beingtheo/status/156386164314603520 Her bio and stats on 8 December 2012: Lapsed writer, collecting distractions. 18,927 tweets. 1,630 following. 6,966 followers.

If you're thinking desperation with a hint of megalomania, then you're reading me right.

3 June 2011 Scott McGrew @iNusku [^165.118] https://twitter.com/#!/iNusku/status/76745289666535424 Bio and stats on 31 January 2013: recovering narcissist. Location: Lubbock, TX · http://nusku.tumblr.com - 500 tweets. 234 following. 440 followers.

"I'm happier than you but your jokes are funnier"

**can't tell if I'm** # **winning or** # **losing**

19 August 2011 Jennifer Shahade @JenShahade [^165.119] https://twitter.com/#!/JenShahade/status/104752788080304128 Bio and stats on 26 November 2013: Author, 2x US Women's chess champ, poker player, commentator, editor @USChess. Location: Philadelphia · jennifershahade.com - 6,263 tweets. 1,037 following. 7,185 followers. The author of Chess Bitch repeats and then responds to someone's comment to her.

Sometimes I wonder, what stories are hidden behind your tweets.

24 May 2012 Waj ‏@myconfusedface [^165.120] https://twitter.com/myconfusedface/status/205699178289053697 His bio and stats on 6 May 2013: As my great-grandma would say: Find someone who loves you for your tweets, not for your avatar. All posts are those of Waj. Location: Alton Towers. 13,705 tweets. 17,940 following. 39,611 followers.

The people who said admitting your problems was the hardest part have never been on Twitter, right?

20 February 2011 Sputnik Sweetheart @Verlieren [^165.121] https://twitter.com/#!/Verlieren/status/39581689181249537 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: Creator of Google, previously psychotic person. Not to make you fall in love with me but I probably don't have AIDS. http://tinyurl.com/verinstagram - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001856/ - 11,012 tweets. 548 following. 14,712 followers.

The funniest person to laugh at is always yourself

6 October 2012 Token Geezer ‏@Token_Geezer [^165.122] https://twitter.com/Token_Geezer/status/254492078409662464

His bio: I'm just a minor threat. Location: London. 27,495 tweets. 857 following. 7,240 followers.

If you can't laugh at yourself, then allow me.

25 June 2012 Your Amy ‏@iammaylynn [^165.123] https://twitter.com/iammaylynn/status/217262632820948992 Twitter bio and stats on 26 November 2013: Just a damsel in this dress. the rainbow connection. · favstar.fm/users/iammaylynn - 20,535 tweets. 6,854 following. 6,956 followers.

It appears you're live tweeting your life as it completely falls apart. Followed.

3 October 2012 Rock ‏@TheMichaelRock [^165.124] https://twitter.com/TheMichaelRock/status/253590307357220864 His bio and stats on 5 October 2012: Yeah, I'm that handsome....With @daniellebyers we are Twitter's #1 Power Couple! Recognize, bitches! · http://favstar.fm/users/TheMichaelRock 20,128 tweets. 1,855 following. 5,428 followers.

Sometimes I open this page and it just looks like panic.

21 April 2014 hey Bosh ‏@TheBosha [^165.125] https://twitter.com/TheBosha/status/458473136217161728 Bio: http://thebosha.tumblr.com/ · witstream.com/#jim_bosha - 18,299 tweets. 531 12,578 followers.

I watch people crash & burn here at a safe & reasonable distance.

My meltdown will probably happen sometime this spring.

I'm thinking April.

31 December 2011 Legs Vandercuss @brainydame \- https://twitter.com/#!/brainydame/status/153104897838039040 Her screen name, ID, bio and stats on 22 March 2013: Anna @smartypeach [^165.126] Why can I not be drinking a margarita on the beach right now? Instagram: brainypeach – Location: Chicago · http://favstar.fm/users/smartypeach/recent - 4,792 tweets. 52 following. 3,470 followers.

Come for the tweets, stay for the car crash...

11 November 2012 Original Cyn ‏@cyanidecynic [^165.127] https://twitter.com/cyanidecynic/status/267567158383476736 His bio: Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin Proud to be @_BOOCREW_ @ReneeGrenade makes my muscles stiffen. Location: Australia · http://favstar.fm/users/cyanidecynic \- 10,033 tweets. 1,875 following. 3,577 followers.

I'm producing a ballet of all the greatest Twitter meltdowns.

21 November 2012 Unpainted Huffheins ‏@RoWack [^165.128] https://twitter.com/RoWack/status/271265753897005056 Her bio: One day, I'll write the epic tale of my life, then sell the film rights to Lifetime or The Hallmark Channel and insist they cast Whoopi Goldberg to play me. Location: Here · http://butyouhaveaprettysmile.tumblr.com/ - 36,650 tweets. 899 following. 2,661 followers.

I'm writing a book called "autobiography of a schizophrenic attention whore"! Each chapter is 140 characters

8 May 2011 space wad @thespacewad [^165.129] https://twitter.com/#!/thespacewad/status/67452223457738752 No Twitter account found with this ID on 28 November 2013.

There are like four tweets in my draft folder where I suggest that I should be the boss of the world.

6 August 2013 Alene ‏@aleneparr [^165.130] https://twitter.com/aleneparr/status/364837452982128644 Her Twitter bio and stats on 12 August 2013: I couldn't quit Twitter. Location: Ontario · alenetalks.blogspot.ca. 8,957 tweets. 2,338 following. 6,744 followers. She had tweeted that was 20 years old at the time.

TWITTER: Come for the celebrities. Stay for the sociopaths.

6 July 2012 Randolph Duke ‏@CelebYouTaunt [^165.131] https://twitter.com/CelebYouTaunt/status/221462977579192320 Twitter bio and stats on 28 November 2013: Making celebrities regret Googling their own names one rich, over-entitled, fame-whore at a time... Location: Hollyweird · favstar.fm/users/CelebYouTaunt - 14,622 tweets. 3,182 following. 3,899 followers.

We need a special name for Tweets that are funny and make you cringe at the same time.

4 June 2012 Hannah Elisabeth ‏@mybigblondelife [^165.132] https://twitter.com/mybigblondelife/status/209645193148907521 Bio: Derision, sarcasm and ennui are my bedfellows. I snore. For 21+ Creator and star of My Big Blonde Life, original comedy series. 1,594 followers. Her bio and stats on 2 January 2013: Derision, sarcasm and ennui are my bedfellows. I snore. For 21+ Creator and star of My Big Blonde Life, original comedy series. http://mybigblondelife.com - Outer Mongolia · http://youtube.com/mybigblondelife - 32,313 tweets. 1,856 following. 9,497 followers.

Believe me lady, you really don't want to be reading over my shoulder right now.

18 November 2012 Gidget ‏@gidget_76 [^165.133] https://twitter.com/gidget_76/status/270169220241833984 Her bio and stats on 21 November 2012: An American (a)broad. Location: Wouldn't you like to know · http://favstar.fm/users/gidget_76/recent - 18,288 tweets. 1,233 following. 4,921 followers.

People who constantly say things for shock value eventually get tuned out.

Same goes for tweets ...

we eventually stop reading *shrugs*

24 April 2012 Jenipher ‏@jehujeni [^165.134] https://twitter.com/jehujeni/status/194954693309509632 Her bio and stats on 20 December 2012: ✧Staring out the window ~ Daydreaming✧⋆ My tweets, like a bunch of Bouncy Balls All Over the Place. http://favstar.fm/users/jehujeni - 38,093 tweets. 1,601 following. 2,736 followers.

How to do Twitter #79

1) Do shock tweet.

2) Wait for people to be shocked.

3) Get shocked when shocked people unfollow or block.

4) Moan.

11 May 2013 Fuzzy LePimp ‏@FuzzyPimple [^165.135] https://twitter.com/FuzzyPimple/status/333455518834257921 Bio and stats on 12 May 2013: I used to have a pimple, now I don't. Location: Under The Westgate. Melbourne · favstar.fm/users/FuzzyPimple/recent - 32,507 tweets. 709 following. 10,122 followers.

Sorry new people, all the shocking tweets have been taken.

7 November 2012 Mister Rob ‏@TheMainlandBlog [^165.136] https://twitter.com/TheMainlandBlog/status/266256436588314624 His bio and stats on 8 November 2012: Winning sperm - March 1975. Location: North Carolina · http://favstar.fm/users/TheMainlandBlog \- 13,735 tweets. 1,565 following. 2,828 followers.

Do we all keep repeating the same tweets or is it just you?

18 November 2012 slinky ‏@Slinkybrowneyes [^165.137] https://twitter.com/Slinkybrowneyes/status/270096402430959616 Her bio: I talk too much, laugh a lot (especailly at myself), smile because I know whats going on and I am full of love. I like swearing on here....piss shit wanker. Location: UK baby! · http://favstar.fm/users/Slinkybrowneyes/recent - 27,620 tweets. 2,727 following. 3,004 followers.

Some writers repost their own material, exactly or with slight modifications. Versions with the least number of stars and retweets face the possibility of deletion.

I don't think twitter was clear in explaining to the newcomers that none of their followers give a shit about their personal life.

17 January 2012 UCMEICU2 ‏@ExploringUrMind [^165.138] https://twitter.com/ExploringUrMind/status/159387299900174336 His bio and stats on 22 March 2013: WARNING: Tweets may not be suitable for sober humans. Tweets may get aggressive when mixed with alcohol. Feelings not wanted! Location: In Your Mind · http://favstar.fm/users/ExploringUrMind - 16,672 tweets. 979 following. 7,286 followers.

No one is interested in your life - but everyone is interested in a good story

12 April 2014 The Bad Doctor ‏@doctoratlarge [^165.139] https://twitter.com/doctoratlarge/status/454771590874423299 Bio: When you're good, people love you. When you're bad, you love yourself. doctoratlarge.wordpress.com - 54,538 tweets. 352 following. 38,429 followers.

You are one "boo fuckin hoo" tweet away from an unfollow...

14 November 2012 Staci ‏@JazzerStace [^165.140] https://twitter.com/JazzerStace/status/268955306950815744 Her bio and stats the next day: tattooed mom, wife, fitness instructor, mentally unstable ♥child of @puffin7911& @Working_Hands_ #1 guy @WorldofSmithy twifey of @BCStupidPants. Location: whiskey warm music beach NJ · http://favstar.fm/users/JazzerStace - 22,812 tweets. 2,055 following. 2,646 followers.

Stop global whining.

18 March 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^165.141] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/313214140145598464 Her bio and stats on 19 March 2013: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 13,935 tweets. 2,039 following. 2,078 followers.

Why do people post notes to themselves on twitter?

Note to self: never do any such thing.

3 November 2013 Sana Saleem ‏@sanasaleem [^165.142] https://twitter.com/sanasaleem/status/397086887225331712 Twitter bio and stats on 5 November 2013: Director @bolobhi, Co-founder @desistore & @SBBorders. Freelance writer, @guardian @globalvoices @dawn_com - beside a book · sanasaleem.com - 56,914 tweets. 2,774 following. 16,794 followers.

I love it when people count down on here till some vague event occurs which probably involves no one besides themselves.

18 December 2012 Malak Mansour ‏@xMalakMansourx [^165.143] https://twitter.com/xMalakMansourx/status/281017808161226752 Her bio: A fictional character created by your perception. 3,293 tweets. 283 following. 512 followers.

Good morning. I will be using new shampoo today shortly.

17 October 2013 Ozilin Mesutukut ‏@sidin [^165.144] https://twitter.com/sidin/status/390747890869874688 His bio: Handyman at Mint. Author of The Dork Trilogy. Cricinfo Page 2-ist. Cubiclenama-ist. Quartz-ist. Podcaster. http://s-id.in/SidCast RTs are not endorphins. Location: London, United Kingdom · whatay.com - 73,434 tweets. 2,016 following. 67,347 followers.

Always sad when a good twitter feed becomes a diary

12 December 2012 Brian Gaar ‏@briangaar [^165.145] https://twitter.com/briangaar/status/279013814589067264 His bio and stats on 15 December 2012: Lazy playboy http://favstar.fm/users/briangaar/ Location: Austin, TX · briangaar.com - 5,627 tweets. 504 following. 8,112 followers.

Twitter should ask what's your problem instead of what's happening.

23 October 2011 14 D @Desdemona - https://twitter.com/#!/Desdemona14/status/128009363779620864 Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 17 October 2013: Dr. Desdemona @Bookwiser [^165.146] I'm the book you are longing to read. Sad! Its not yet available. Inadequate, Insufferable, Intolerable. Clinical Psychologist. Location: In Denial · Desdemonalisa.tumblr.com. 111,969 tweets. 557 following. 11,280 followers.

I love the ambiguity of the sentence "current status" and how it opens a photo to interpretation.

12 January 2013 William Vambenepe ‏@vambenepe [^165.147] https://twitter.com/vambenepe/status/290014986653298689 Bio: GCPPM (Google Cloud Platform Product Manager). NSFG (Not Speaking For Google). Location: San Francisco Bay Area · http://stage.vambenepe.com/ 12,669 tweets. 806 following. 3,318 followers.

News anchors are dead inside.

Not like, "Twitter dead inside", but close.

23 July 2012 Kim Farrell ‏@Bunnydurden [^165.148] https://twitter.com/bunnydurden/status/227402316754599936 Bio: Fashion, beauty, TV, jokes, fast food. Not necessarily in that order. Location: Sherman Oaks, CA. 1,963 tweets. 5,546 following. 5,454 followers.

In cyberspace no one can hear you scream because they're all screaming too.

4 January 2011 Crab @Blue_Crab [^165.149] https://twitter.com/#!/Blue_Crab/status/22447230531145728 Bio and stats on 24 March 2013: Stronger than ativan and more powerful than chocolate. Send me an email at google – BlueCrabsEmail – Location: South · http://favstar.fm/users/Blue_Crab - 3,473 tweets. 381 following. 2,174 followers.

Compare:

In cyberspace, everyone hears you scream.

4 April 2014 Connnnie Eskimo ‏@alejanconnie [^165.150] https://twitter.com/alejanconnie/status/452266330192748544 Her bio and stats on 8 April 2014: I like shooting things; with cameras and guns. I'm a book whore, music and movie fanatic. I have a dirty mouth and dirtier mind. I also hate most people... Instagram: alejanconnie · favstar.fm/users/alejanconnie - 7,985 tweets. 2,002 following. 885 followers.

when your twitter value is higher than your life value...

31 December 2010 leesa @omgitsleesa [^165.151] https://twitter.com/#!/omgitsleesa/status/20977003784044544 She started as leesa @omgitsleesa, which was de-activated. Returned as lmf @leesmf. In September 2011 began tweeting from both accounts. Both accounts appear to have been de-activated in early April 2012. She was in the New York City metropolitan area.

Followers: 3547.

Savings account: 0.

I don't know what the point of this tweet is.

Whatever, I'm poor.

26 May 2012 Gordo ‏@gorrdano [^165.152] https://twitter.com/gorrdano/status/206476285248143361 Saturday night on Memorial Day weekend. His follower count jumped to 3,559 within an hour, boosted by the retweets. His bio and stats on 13 December 2012: I put people's names in my bio. @The_Sculptress and @TheOneTrueDisco says suck it. Check out @PrianhaPanorama #ff @Lisa_Laughs_ · http://www.favstar.fm/users/gorrdano/recent - 85,830 tweets. 5,919 following. 10,641 followers.

The world ended for me the day I opened a Twitter account.

20 May 2011 rodney @rodney_at_large [^165.153] https://twitter.com/#!/rodney_at_large/status/71772580759080961 His bio and stats on 20 December 2012, on the night before the Mayan forecast of the end of the world was to have occurred: I'm awesome and sometimes I lie. Location: @rodney_at_large follows you · favstar.fm/users/rodney_at_large - 6,442 tweets. 484 following. 26,173 followers. The 'follows you' notation above is not true. Tweeted on a night when some Christians in the United States were expecting that the Rapture would occur the next day.

I lose a little respect for myself every time I tweet.

18 November 2010 Jeni Scagnetti @JeniScagnetti [^165.154] https://twitter.com/#!/JeniScagnetti/status/5293902617645056 Her bio and stats on 10 April 2013: In the history of language, the first obscenity was silence. Billionaire · http://favstar.fm/users/JeniScagnetti/recent - 19,773 tweets. 539 following. 10,422 followers.

Favstar should stop selling make believe trophies and instead sell make believe lives and self respect.

5 October 2012 Boss ‏@ParaJanitor [^165.155] https://twitter.com/ParaJanitor/status/254139322050166784 Father, Poet, Comedian, Artist, Paranormal Investigator, Janitor and your best friend. Come play with me. Location: West Virginia · http://favstar.fm/users/ParaJanitor - 46,326 tweets. 1,481 following. 3,125 followers.

Twitter is like the parts of the animal that they don't even put in sausage.

24 September 2011 peckishly ‏@peckishly [^165.156] https://twitter.com/peckishly/status/117654271171895296 Bio and stats on 10 November 2012: In a parallel universe, someone else is wearing your pants. Purveyor of laughable tweets since April, 2011. Location: Over here! · http://favstar.fm/users/peckishly - 10,644 tweets. 1,105 following. 1,214 followers.

Twitter= innocence lost

19 July 2012 Magdalena ‏@maehoneybee [^165.157] https://twitter.com/maehoneybee/status/226106079094919168 Her Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 29 November 2013: Isis @maehoneybee - @boobnish is my huckleberry. favstar.fm/users/maehoneybee - 16,927 tweets. 1,876 following. 2,253 followers.

**Worst society I've ever been in.** ★☆☆☆☆

5 June 2012 Mark Leggett ‏@markleggett [^165.158] https://twitter.com/markleggett/status/210219393291005952 Twitter bio and stats on 29 November 2013: You can tell a lot about a person by reading their bio. Location: New Zealand ∞ · society6.com/MarkLeggett - 20,445 tweets. 881 following. 34,985 followers.

You people do know that the whole point of this place is that we AREN'T friends, right?

5 October 2012 Token Geezer ‏@Token_Geezer [^165.159] https://twitter.com/Token_Geezer/status/254209130355625984 His bio: I'm just a minor threat. Location: London 27,423 tweets. 856 following. 7,234 followers.

I'm going to write a self help book, based on my own experiences, called "What Not To Do."

3 August 2011 Kay Morgan @KayM77 [^165.160] https://twitter.com/#!/KayM77/status/98695971218792448 Her bio and stats on 14 March 2013: I'm on Twitter. 18,872 tweets. 248 following. 1,615 followers.

May your Tweets be so good that people recognize them when someone steals them.

17 July 2012 Ryan Armentrout ‏@ryaninco [^165.161] https://twitter.com/ryaninco/status/225452806130241537 His bio and stats on 2 November 2012: Traveling the U.S. like a gypsy, only I take a shower daily. Instagram Ryaninco. Location: I get around · http://favstar.fm/users/ryaninco - 22,000 tweets. 5,016 following. 13,127 followers.

I'm selling transcripts of my tweets.

25 June 2012 Stacy ‏@Stexcy [^165.162] https://twitter.com/Stexcy/status/217457985855827968 Bio and stats on 10 November 2012: A doctor removed my bio. http://favstar.fm/me Location: Canada. 11,552 tweets. 1,118 following. 11,601 followers.

All your self-deprecating jokes on Twitter started making a lot more sense ever since you replaced your fake avatar with a real photo.

18 November 2010 designersays @designersays [^165.163] https://twitter.com/#!/designersays/status/5390572722331648 His bio and stats on 28 April 2013: When coworkers piss me off, I start sending them very serious work-related emails with a blank subject line. Don't fuck with me. Location: Sydney Australia · http://www.facebook.com/pages/Hieu-Nguyen/261238103906955 - 1,985 tweets. 458 following. 9,750 followers.

I'm on a list that only follows 2 people. And the other person appears to be a complete lunatic.

10 February 2011 Señor Winces @senorwinces [^165.164] https://twitter.com/#!/senorwinces/status/35691300934131712 Twitter bio and stats on 8 June 2013: My life coach advised me to run out the clock. Location: Brooklyn, NY · tinyurl.com/kuhuut4 - 4,240 tweets. 2,077 following. 13,513 followers.

If I've learnt anything from Twitter, it's that I'm definitely not the craziest bitch on the planet.

18 July 2012 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^165.165] https://twitter.com/Schmoodles/status/225681453265088512 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

You're completely insane. What's your Twitter?

3 October 2013 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^165.166] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/385997745045008384 Bio: Humble as Fuck. https://soundcloud.com/nerdamage-1/inconsequential-manifestations - 20,233 tweets. 3,459 following. 13,492 followers.

Dear new followers, thanks for following me. I swear I'm not some weird mental case.... Here, allow me to introduce my selves....

18 February 2011 Stacey aka Panda @Pan_duh - https://twitter.com/#!/Pan_duh/status/38810579539853312 Her screen name, ID, bio and stats on 12 March 2013: mint cdromney @pan_duh [^165.167] a pessimistic panda trapped in a young woman's body. queen of randomness, master of weirdness, goddess of lolz. powered by MCR and coffee. follow or die. Location: Pizza City · instagram.com/pan__duh - 16,145 tweets. 2,917 following. 6,943 followers.

We are all so much sexier on Twitter than we are in person.

Please, let's not ever meet.

8 September 2011 Mental Exotica ‏@mentalexotica [^165.168] https://twitter.com/mentalexotica/status/112032510153723904 Her Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 10 September 2013: Luna @mentalexotica - My obsessive compulsive disorders bring all the boys to the yard. In alphabetical order. Location: Between nowhere and goodbye · mentalexotica.wordpress.com. 42,774 tweets. 476 following. 8,814 followers.

I'm just as fucking awesome in person.

23 September 2012 Sheila ‏@Sheila_Mac420 [^165.169] https://twitter.com/Sheila_Mac420/status/249941459149668352 Stats on 29 November 2013: favstar.fm/users/Sheila_Mac/recent - 3,644 tweets. 1,176 following. 10,830 followers.

I'm here for you. I'm just not there for you.

11 December 2010 Jenn @isleofjenn [^165.170] https://twitter.com/isleofjenn/status/13675856102686720 Twitter bio and stats on 26 October 2013, when this tweet was found to have been deleted: I like to bathe in coffee. 967 tweets. 231 following. 1,109 followers. On 26 October 2013 her most recent tweet was dated 9 February 2011.

I'm totally in love with my idea of you.

28 May 2012 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^165.171] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/207018475795922944 Twitter bio and stats on 25 January 2014: i was born 'n stuff. Location: Hanging out in my garage. · favstar.fm/users/RobotThomas - 59,457 tweets. 8,691 following. 8,308 followers.

• • • • •

Me at 2 am, drafting tweets: "These are fucking brilliant!"

Me at 2 pm: "...the fuck is this?"

20 July 2012 Dickhole. ‏@fullblowndave [^165.172] https://twitter.com/fullblowndave/status/226421669948952576 Twitter stats on 29 November 2013: 2,151 tweets. 1,027 following. 1,941 followers.

I walk around, my tweets hurting.

8 September 2011 nerdamage @nerdamage [^165.173] https://twitter.com/#!/nerdamage/status/111732008476090368 His bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,477 tweets. 3,154 following. 9,233 followers.

I'm so very angry I could blog!

5 December 2010 Laura @lafix [^165.174] https://twitter.com/#!/lafix/status/11599476942708736 - Her Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 27 July 2013: lafix @lafix - Well groomed anarchist. Location: Miami · witstream.com - 5,106 tweets. 586 following. 14,986 followers.

You know how some people finish a half-baked Tweet with a single demonstrative masquerading as a sentence? That.

4 August 2012 Huw Parker ‏@FurryCanary [^165.175] https://twitter.com/FurryCanary/status/231676648318189568 Bio: Articulous, eloquacious and bententious, but always araldite. Location: East Anglia, UK. 6,448 tweets. 107 following. 170 followers.

Usually that one liner at the end that you think will make your Tweet funny makes it suck.

24 July 2012 Ryan Armentrout ‏@ryaninco [^165.176] https://twitter.com/ryaninco/status/227949846919774208 His bio and stats on 2 November 2012: Traveling the U.S. like a gypsy, only I take a shower daily. Instagram Ryaninco. Location: I get around · http://favstar.fm/users/ryaninco - 22,000 tweets. 5,016 following. 13,127 followers.

It's funny, but even though you wrote Lol at the end of that tweet, I didn't laugh.

28 May 2012 Fluffy Suse ‏@fluffysuse [^165.177] https://twitter.com/fluffysuse/status/207093863721078784 Her bio and stats on 11 November 2012: Prolific giggler. Inane chatterer. Fan of hyperbole. Lover of watermelon. Swears when drunk. And sober. Location: bed, mostly · http://favstar.fm/users/fluffysuse - 19,234 tweets. 1,137 following. 4,620 followers.

I hate myself for not being able to come up with a self depreciating tweet right now.

21 November 2010 Jason was here @Jason_maybe [^165.178] https://twitter.com/#!/Jason_maybe/status/6440782227574784 Bio and stats on 3 April 2013: Wife. Sister. Mommy Blogger. Knee-high sock collector. Zumba Instructor. Vegan. Total Diva! Yoga Pants Enthusiast. Breast Feeder. Honey Boo Boo's body double. Location: Central Massachusetts :( · http://jasonmaybe.tumblr.com - 5,874 tweets. 749 following. 7,815 followers. Most recent tweet on 3 April 2013 was dated 29 October 2012.

Below, @kdn13 correctly employs _self-deprecation_ in a social-status sense, verses _self-depreciation_ (above), which refers to the market value of an economic asset.

Self-deprecating humor is not genuine.

You all know you think you're the shit.

19 January 2011 kdn @kdn13 [^165.179] https://twitter.com/#!/kdn13/status/27926808791875585 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: I have a weakness for split infinitives. Location: Bay Area, CA. 4,724 tweets. 247 following. 19,916 followers.

If you don't have anything nice to say, I'm probably following you.

10 November 2010 Don't Tell Daddy @Hormonella [^165.180] https://twitter.com/#!/Hormonella/status/2349809755234304 Her bio and stats on 10 December 2012: My body is not my temple. It's more like my bar and grill. Location: Stepford · http://favstar.fm/users/Hormonella/recent - 33,857 tweets. 17,421 following. 20,118 followers.

New to Twitter? You're doing it wrong.

Don't even ask what you're doing wrong just know that it is wrong.

20 July 2012 Parentpains ‏@Parentpains [^165.181] https://twitter.com/Parentpains/status/226293621740146688 His bio and stats on 7 March 2013: I'm just a piece of meat around here, you're probably not even reading this. @suchadumbworld is my bro. View all my tweets at the link below. I RT a lot. Location: Toronto, Canada · http://favstar.fm/users/Parentpains - 30,722 tweets. 2,127 following. 15,772 followers.

Post whatever you want.

Who cares?

Not that.

That's offensive.

20 August 2012 Sergio ‏@SergioValenCo [^165.182] https://twitter.com/sergiovalenco/status/237725842560675840 His bio and stats on 9 January 2013: Sometimes I'm insightful and witty; then I wake up. Inspirational asshole. Location: In a Cage · http://favstar.fm/users/SergioValenCo/recent - 13,981 tweets. 6,628 following. 9,810 followers.

It's only offensive if you allow it to offend you.

31 May 2012 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^165.183] https://twitter.com/schmoodles/status/208309622908534784 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

My grandma said the Internet has completely ruined people's ability to communicate properly. I told her she didn't know fuck about shit.

9 August 2011 Kyle H ‏@DepecheALAmode [^165.184] https://twitter.com/#!/DepecheALAmode/status/101074641468133376 Twitter bio and stats on 21 July 2013: Lead singer/guitarist for The Architect Sound. Atlantic Records recording artist. I met Pete Rose. Location: Florida. 5,874 tweets. 2,630 following. 9,530 followers.

Look, mom! No morals!

13 May 12 Niki ‏@NikiWithIssues [^165.185] https://twitter.com/#!/NikiWithIssues/status/201696680326873088 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: I'm super lazy. Which is like normal lazy but I'm also wearing a cape. Location: The Shire · http://favstar.fm/users/NikiWithIssues - 6,027 tweets. 811 following. 35,838 followers.

On Twitter, wit is the only virtue

11 April 2014 The Bad Doctor ‏@doctoratlarge [^165.186] https://twitter.com/doctoratlarge/status/454633755979034624 Bio and stats on 12 April 2014: When you're good, people love you. When you're bad, you love yourself. doctoratlarge.wordpress.com - 54,538 tweets. 352 following. 38,429 followers. On 12 April 2014 no prior use of "wit is the only virtue" was found in Google Search results or Twitter search results by anyone other than @doctoratlarge.

Twitter has been the most positive, healthy relationship I've ever been in.

8 January 2012 Princess Warhole @WickedSica \- https://twitter.com/#!/WickedSica/status/156227460961275904 Her screen name, ID, stats and bio on 19 December 2012: Jessica Rabbit. @WickedSica I'm like @JessicaFancy but on acid. I wrote a poem: Fuck you. Location: Candyland. · http://favstar.fm/users/wickedsica \- 3,663 tweets. 4,118 following. 4,728 followers. She is being counted under another of her Twitter IDs: @JessicaFancy [^165.187].

Twitter: where the best moral support comes from people with some fairly questionable morals.

28 December 2010 Miss Fuckalicious ‏@PyrBliss [^165.188] https://twitter.com/pyrbliss/status/19987458837975040 Her bio and stats on 7 November 2012: Swearing on Twitter is my anti-drug. Come for the cuteness, stay for the rage. I say FUCK! a lot. Location: In your pocket · http://favstar.fm/users/PyrBliss - 2,916 tweets. 838 following. 26,747 followers.

Twitter is like over-the-counter therapy.

19 August 2011 peckishly ‏@peckishly [^165.189] https://twitter.com/peckishly/status/104569332566196225

Bio and stats on 10 November 2012: In a parallel universe, someone else is wearing your pants. Purveyor of laughable tweets since April, 2011. Location: Over here! · http://favstar.fm/users/peckishly - 10,644 tweets. 1,105 following. 1,214 followers.

No. But seriously. I think some of you are masking deep problems here with humor.

18 January 2012 Lint Trap @asshat33 [^165.190] https://twitter.com/#!/asshat33/status/159689314501013504 No account found with this ID on 19 February 2013.

Humor is that rug I sweep my feelings under.

13 September 2012 thatlittlekitnerboy ‏@littlekitnerboy [^165.191] https://twitter.com/littlekitnerboy/status/246200794368602112 His bio: If I have more than 3 followers I will no longer have faith in the human race. http://audioboo.fm/littlekitnerboy Location: Seattleish....Boo! · http://Favstar.fm/users/littlekitnerboy - 4,286 tweets. 1,303 following. 1,354 followers.

Looking for a way not to be what I tweet about.

23 July 2011 Chris @izrigrod [^165.192] https://twitter.com/#!/izrigrod/status/94925986872819713 His Twitter bio and stats on 18 June 2013: tweet expert. Location: Southern California · favstar.fm/users/izrigrod - 2,313 tweets. 554 following. 1,585 followers.

Twitter is what we make of it. Hence the mess.

19 October 2011 peckishly ‏@peckishly [^165.193] https://twitter.com/peckishly/status/126623862636019712 Bio and stats on 10 November 2012: In a parallel universe, someone else is wearing your pants. Purveyor of laughable tweets since April, 2011. Location: Over here! · http://favstar.fm/users/peckishly - 10,644 tweets. 1,105 following. 1,214 followers.

Sorry to break it to you but THIS is my superpower.

9 December 2012 Hormonella, damn it! ‏@Hormonella [^165.194] https://twitter.com/Hormonella/status/277969001366290435 Her bio and stats on 10 December 2012: My body is not my temple. It's more like my bar and grill. Location: Stepford · http://favstar.fm/users/Hormonella/recent - 33,857 tweets. 17,421 following. 20,118 followers.

When I die don't bother looking for my "unreleased works." This is it guys.

9 May 2012 Shira ‏@shiraselko [^165.195] https://twitter.com/#!/shiraselko/status/200292878860292096 Her Twitter bio and stats on 7 June 2013: Improviser. 5'1. Pittsburgh sports fan. Opprobrious. Contributor to WitStream. Location: Hoboken, NJ · http://witstream.com/#shira_selkovits - 8,204 tweets. 821 following. 9,188 followers.

Even autocorrect has no idea where I'm going with this.

28 May 2012 Just E ‏@Elizacal [^165.196] https://twitter.com/Elizacal/status/207129319959576577 - 114 followers. Her bio and stats on 24 November 2013: even autocorrect has no idea where i'm going with this. 1,391 tweets. 487 following. 260 followers.

Someday you'll look back on all of this, and plow into a row of parked cars.

1 June 2012 Kevin Jones ‏@Jones4410 [^165.197] https://twitter.com/jones4410/status/208643229808197632 Twitter bio and stats on 2 December 2013: If I tell you, I'll have to kill you... Location: Portland, OR. 7,287 tweets. 1,366 following. 704 followers. On 2 December 2013 this tweet was found to have been deleted.

I love the smell of rain.

The smell of rain I love.

I love the smell of rain and saying it in different ways.

This is a cry for help.

22 July 2012 Brian ‏@BDGarp [^165.198] https://twitter.com/bdgarp/status/227086090673213440 Bio: Pretend you're a boat. Location: Earth. 11,335 tweets. 2,224 following. 11,156 followers.

If you read your timeline backwards it's about a lunatic seeking validation and ends with a normal person wondering what "the twitter" is.

16 June 2011 Jason was here @Jason_maybe [^165.199] https://twitter.com/#!/Jason_maybe/status/81436315056484352 Bio and stats on 3 April 2013: Wife. Sister. Mommy Blogger. Knee-high sock collector. Zumba Instructor. Vegan. Total Diva! Yoga Pants Enthusiast. Breast Feeder. Honey Boo Boo's body double. Location: Central Massachusetts :( · http://jasonmaybe.tumblr.com - 5,874 tweets. 749 following. 7,815 followers. Most recent tweet on 3 April 2013 was dated 29 October 2012.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT FROM TWITTER"

27 February 2013 CAKE SMOTH @CAKETENDO64 [^165.200] https://twitter.com/CAKETENDO64/status/307024325540732928 Her bio and stats on 11 March 2013: I HATE MYSELF AND I WANT TO DIE. Location: CELL BLOCK 20 · http://jawlyrawgr.tumblr.com/ - 14,012 tweets. 977 following. 2,748 followers.

You're not allowed to tweet anything until you make an announcement about this being your first tweet.

29 May 2012 Nina ‏@ninaundercovers [^165.201] https://twitter.com/ninaundercovers/status/207472276885618695 Her first tweet. By 10 June 2012 she had 172 tweets and 532 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 18 July 2013: I'm probably napping. favstar.fm/users/ninaundercovers - 343 tweets. 891 following. 632 followers. Her most recent tweet on 18 July 2013 was dated 31 January 2013.

New on titter

15 May 2012 Gulzaib Chaudary ‏@Gulzaibchaudary [^165.202] https://twitter.com/#!/Gulzaibchaudary/status/202362376564121600 She was in Lahore with 1 tweet (this one) and 0 followers in the week before Twitter was again blocked in her country.

Welcome to twitter! Your membership package will be mailed next week. We hope you didn't like your life that much because it's over now.

19 December 2012 farleftcoast ‏@farleftcoast [^165.203] https://twitter.com/farleftcoast/status/281625099373772800 Bio: Before I get my hair cut I whisper to the stylist: If you fuck up my hair I'll burn your salon down. I love @thedailymarker so much I put a ring on his finger. Location: The Dock of the Bay · http://favstar.fm/users/farleftcoast - 43,848 tweets. 840 following. 13,578 followers.

Twitter saved my life and stopped me from having one all at the same time.

28 April 2012 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^165.204] https://twitter.com/schmoodles/status/196352932868919296 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

"Welcome to the desert of the Real..."

9 September 2012 Julie Baby ‏@inScytheful [^165.205] https://twitter.com/inScytheful/status/244906260464562177 Her bio and stats on 27 February 2013: ...against the dying of the light. Location: nucleus accumbens · http://science.nasa.gov/astrophysics/focus-areas/what-is-dark-energy/ \- 7,583 tweets. 712 following. 1,829 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  166. INAD

ATTENTION ALL! : I need attention.

27 May 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^166.1] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/339027781503578114 Her bio and stats on 28 May 2013: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · pelsjas.wordpress.com - 17,274 tweets. 2,328 following. 2,407 followers.

Where can I get attention on the internet?

7 February 2013 hello jeannie ‏@LaJeannieBean [^166.2] https://twitter.com/LaJeannieBean/status/299641399333240832 Her bio and stats on 17 February 2013: crimes lady. Location: Desert. 4,747 tweets. 375 following. 2,078 followers.

The title of this chapter originates from this definition of INAD, posted by someone known only as Tristan:

INAD is an acronym for 'I Need Attention Disorder'. Examples of INAD can be seen in any crowded place and amongst any group of people. Typically the signs of INAD are first noticed in small children in supermarkets, where they tend to run around screaming or generally irritate shoppers by shouting arguments or pleas with their parents.

It is thought that INAD is caused mainly by ingestion of high doses of E numbers, especially those found in cheap processed foods. Possibly by E101 to E131 and E200 series, Also known to cause hyperactivity are the colours E128 (red) and E133 (blue). These colours are possibly what gives children Blue Smartie Syndrome

INAD can also be induced socially by normally involved people feeling shunned by the conversation. This can lead to them exhibiting INAD as a form of distraction as they steer the conversation round to a subject they can lead in.

Some people are naturally prone to INAD, while others rarely suffer from it.

Those afflicted with INAD generally calm down once they're back to the centre of attention. Possible cures for INAD are restrictions on the smmounts of E numbers consumed, and absolute isolation. The latter may induce fatal depression in those natually prone to INAD.

Examples:

"Widened eyes, loudened voice, more body movement, he/she shows all the signs of INAD"

"My God, will that kid stop it with the INAD"

Posted by Tristan on UrbanDictionary.com on 20 March 2005:  http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=INAD&defid=1132420

Tristan ^166.3], unidentifiable except for their screen name on UrbanDictionary.com, also posted a definition for kennel syndrome. Tristan appears to have invented kennel syndrome to refer to short-term-memory problems, which can be displayed by asking the same question every 15 minutes. His post on kennel syndrome was likely made in 2005. It was quickly taken down by a moderator for Urban Dictionary, but in 2012 it was found to have been restored: [ http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Kennel%20Syndrome&defid=1552659

Urban Dictionary @urbandictionary [^166.4] bio and stats on 1 February 2013: Tweet 'what does bootylicious mean?' for a response from @urbandictionary. [[i am a robot]] http://urbanup.com/feedback.php - http://www.urbandictionary.com/ - 311,007 tweets. 12 following. 101,891 followers.

A culture where everyone wants to be famous is one where being ordinary has ceased to offer the necessary modicum of respect.

5 February 2013 Alain de Botton ‏@alaindebotton [^166.5] https://twitter.com/alaindebotton/status/298740146851954688 His Twitter bio and stats on 2 December 2013: Writer; most recently deviser of http://www.artastherapy.com Founder; http://www.theschooloflife.com. Location: London · alaindebotton.com. 731 tweets. 4,770 following. 407,863 followers. On 2 December 2013 this tweet was found to have been deleted.

How can I use important events to develop my personal brand? –twitter

26 June 2013 Mae ‏@mzeld [^166.6] https://twitter.com/mzeld/status/349981464584134656 Her Twitter bio and stats on 5 July 2013: LET'S DO TWEETS OFF EACH OTHER'S BUTTS Instagram: mzeld Vine/real life: mae. 19,607 tweets. 885 following. 28,454 followers.

Tweeted in Cairo in the run-up to the second military coup in Egypt in modern times, precipitated on 30 June 2013 by the largest public demonstrations the world had ever seen.

Over the next week, Mae provided two examples of the form:

Please consult me before attempting to pronounce "coup d'état" thx

1 July 2013 Mae ‏@mzeld [^166.7] https://twitter.com/mzeld/status/351727416231727106 Her Twitter bio and stats on 5 July 2013: LET'S DO TWEETS OFF EACH OTHER'S BUTTS Instagram: mzeld Vine/real life: mae. 19,607 tweets. 885 following. 28,454 followers.

*trips and falls into new regime*

3 July 2013 Mae ‏@mzeld [^166.8] https://twitter.com/mzeld/status/352603430591795200 Her Twitter bio and stats on 5 July 2013: LET'S DO TWEETS OFF EACH OTHER'S BUTTS Instagram: mzeld Vine/real life: mae. 19,607 tweets. 885 following. 28,454 followers. Tweeted on the day that Egypt's first democratically elected government was deposed in a coup d'état.

Why is everyone on my twitter and facebook timeline desperately trying to start a new meme these days?

27 June 2012 Sohaib Athar ‏@ReallyVirtual [^166.9] https://twitter.com/reallyvirtual/status/218111796031131648 In Abbottabad, PK, with 70,371 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 19 April 2013 of Sohaib Athar @ReallyVirtual - An IT consultant taking a break from the rat-race by hiding in the mountains with his laptops. Location: Abbottabad Lahore Pakistan · http://www.reallyvirtual.com - 5,784 tweets. 478 following. 63,935 followers.

Sohaib Athar (above) live-tweeted the US raid that killed Osama Bin Laden, who had been living nearby him in Abbottabad, northern Pakistan. Sohaib Athar became the first person to achieve celebrity status for live-tweeting. He then became the first citizen-voice (independent of official sources and mainstream media) that many Americans heard from that country, where the US was conducting an undeclared war, primarily through drones.

Reply:

.@ReallyVirtual Memes driven by _I Need Attention Disorder_. Ppl feeling shunned exhibit INAD, push topics they can lead.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=INAD&defid=1132420

https://twitter.com/aem76us/status/218149622147858432 Italics added. The link points to the definition for INAD posted by Tristan on UrbanDictionary.com, as cited above. Ppl = people.

I used to call the radio station and request songs because hearing my name on the radio made me feel famous. (Therapy confession)

7 February 2013 Lori ‏@HeyitsLori [^166.10] https://twitter.com/HeyitsLori/status/299712717290369024 Her bio: Lip balm makes me happy. http://favstar.fm/users/HeyitsLori - 4,628 tweets. 447 following. 6,591 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 1 October 2013: Lip balm makes me happy. favstar.fm/users/HeyitsLori - 5,105 tweets. 469 following. 7,417 followers.

Everyone...can I have your attention please? No announcement. Just wanted your attention.

28 September 2012 Chrisanna4real ‏@chrisanna4real [^166.11] https://twitter.com/chrisanna4real/status/248992182843867136 Her bio and stats on 27 October 2012: I RT A LOT. My life will make you laugh. I'm drunk a lot. Beer me. Most at home in @chopper4jk's pants and my best girl is @the_martinigirl. IG: chrisanna4real Location: So Cal, that's all you get. · http://favstar.fm/users/chrisanna4real - 31,994 tweets. 9,265 following. 17,404 followers.

• • • • •

More INAD examples:

hey guys

13 May 2012 7:55 p.m. Eastern time on a Sunday night, Shira @shiraselko [^166.12] https://twitter.com/#!/shiraselko/status/201822911336685568 Her Twitter bio and stats on 7 June 2013: Improviser. 5'1. Pittsburgh sports fan. Opprobrious. Contributor to WitStream. Location: Hoboken, NJ · http://witstream.com/#shira_selkovits - 8,204 tweets. 821 following. 9,188 followers.

An opprobrious person is known for dispensing scorn and contempt; or who is shameful or infamous.

I know why you guys tweet.

27 July 2012 Shane ‏@shanethevein [^166.13] https://twitter.com/shanethevein/status/228932079302352896 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: Twitter should be an escape, not a destination. http://favstar.fm/users/shanethevein Location: America's Finest City! · http://shanethevein.tumblr.com/ - 21,001 tweets. 5,385 following. 16,054 followers.

this was supposed to be about me.

29 October 2013 p skittle ‏@preawsaurus [^166.14] https://twitter.com/preawsaurus/status/395192233911005185 Her Twitter bio and stats on 16 November 2013: professionally me. asshole connoisseur. fan of misanthropes. lover of wrongs. Location: Tellus. 15,295 tweets. 680 following. 9,171 followers.

Hey everyone, I was mentioned on Twitter.

29 September 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^166.15] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/252058194287939585 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 14,015 tweets. 3,128 following. 9,547 followers.

What's up everyone?

Asking for a friend

27 February 2012 foxy j ‏@idreamofmayo [^166.16] https://twitter.com/#!/idreamofmayo/status/174257385911754752 Her bio and stats on 18 November 2012: kid at heart but not liver http://favstar.fm/users/idreamofmayo Location: (Hou/Bo) ston. 3,402 tweets. 231 following. 329 followers. No account with this ID found on 7 April 2013.

I write these tweets in hope that you'll notice me

26 May 2012 El Jefe ‏@ElJefe121 - https://twitter.com/ElJefe121/status/206314256503816192 His screen name, ID, profile and stats on 12 December 2012: Rap Game Jeffrey @RapGameJefe - Con - http://favstar.fm/users/RapGameJefe/recent - 10,871 tweets. 464 following. 1,821 followers. His Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 4 August 2013: OG Jefe @OGJefe [^166.17] Con. Location: On the run · favstar.fm/users/OGJefe/recent - 18,294 tweets. 265 following. 2,367 followers.

Stop Ignoring me!

10 January 2012 Justina @JEllis1313 [^166.18] https://twitter.com/#!/JEllis1313/status/156956909759496194 Her Twitter bio and stats on 21 July 2013: All dressed up with some medicine for luck! BlackRock. Location: 'Cuse, NY · favstar.fm/users/JEllis1313 - 39,163 tweets. 2,383 following. 2,537 followers.

The thing I hate most about attention whores is that I am one.

12 December 2011 Princess Warhole @WickedSica - https://twitter.com/#!/WickedSica/status/146321853772873728 Her screen name, ID, stats and bio on 19 December 2012: Jessica Rabbit. @WickedSica I'm like @JessicaFancy but on acid. I wrote a poem: Fuck you. Location: Candyland. · http://favstar.fm/users/wickedsica \- 3,663 tweets. 4,118 following. 4,728 followers. She is being counted under another of her Twitter IDs: @JessicaFancy [^166.19].

Time flies when you're throwing clocks haha do you guys like me?

23 July 2012 justin s. ‏@Spotzwoj [^166.20] https://twitter.com/spotzwoj/status/227658852215169024 His bio and stats on 6 October 2012: etc... Location: DC burbs. http://favstar.fm/users/spotzwoj/recent - 8,235 tweets. 985 following. 4,166 followers.

I am Spartacus (please RT)

15 July 2012 Megan Amram ‏@meganamram [^166.21] https://twitter.com/meganamram/status/224753874836258816 Her bio and stats on 25 January 2013: it's this weird, sexual, anti-comedy comedy that's 'in' right now. - my mom. Location: Los Angeles, CA · http://meganamram.tumblr.com/ - 1,742 tweets. 386 following. 330,210 followers.

"Look at me! I'm important!" -me, right now

21 October 2011 Dave Ross ‏@davetotheross [^166.22] https://twitter.com/davetotheross/status/127476675188498432 His Twitter bio and stats on 11 December 2013: Literally on fire. Location: Los Angeles · davetotheross.com. 3,270 tweets. 946 following. 8,747 followers. Underlining added.

So what did you guys tweet about before I got here?

20 August 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^166.23] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/237553025072394243 His bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,477 tweets. 3,154 following. 9,233 followers.

It's amazing that no matter where we came from, we're all here searching for the same thing: That perfect tweet that will make us famous.

10 September 2013 Xung Lam ‏@xunglam [^166.24] https://twitter.com/xunglam/status/377499388848771072 Bio: My name is pronounced Sung. I am also @Bakedspeare. Location: Seattle · favstar.fm/users/xunglam - 705 tweets. 3,017 following. 4,053 followers.

All I want is a mob of cheering fans who carry me everywhere

22 February 2013 donni ‏@donni [^166.25] https://twitter.com/donni/status/305149475142393856 His bio: AKA Donni Saphire. Joke sayer, sketch writer, butt dancer. Wants to be on your showcase. More at TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com ) Stealing babies is wrong. Location: Chicago but restless · favstar.fm/users/donni/recent - 10,007 tweets. 897 following. 27,848 followers.

I hope one day there's an overpass named after me.

15 June 2013 Natasha Leggero ‏@natashaleggero [^166.26] https://twitter.com/natashaleggero/status/345860429765038080 Bio: Queen of the Earth. Watch Burning Love on E! http://eonli.ne/XLWEhi TOUR DATES: http://natashatourdates.tumblr.com/ - Location: Los Angeles · vimeo.com/29586301 - 1,919 tweets. 591 following. 186,880 followers.

Please love me.

19 May 2013 Natasha Leggero ‏@natashaleggero [^166.27] https://twitter.com/natashaleggero/status/336211665030885377 Bio and stats on 15 June 2013: Queen of the Earth. Watch Burning Love on E! http://eonli.ne/XLWEhi TOUR DATES: http://natashatourdates.tumblr.com/ - Location: Los Angeles · vimeo.com/29586301 - 1,919 tweets. 591 following. 186,880 followers.

• • • • •

Face-to-face social interactions are time-consuming and often wasteful, but biologically necessary. Among primates in the wild, the access of single males to females has been observed to depend, in large part, on the willingness of males to befriend and bond with other males. Likewise, in competing for females and engaging in fitness-display behavior, males depend on the recognition and social status shown to them by other males, moreso than by females. For human primates, social status and mutual recognition remain important throughout one's life, beyond mate competition. Biologically driven mate-selection pressures and the male bonding and status-seeking it supports are the hot air in the human social balloon.

An important early examination of male-male socialization and bonding: Men in Groups, by Lionel Tiger, Nelson, 1969. Lionel Tiger is the Charles Darwin Professor Emeritus of Anthropology at Rutgers University.

Before microblogging, dating-advice books for single men commonly advised readers to begin by building up their social capital. Engage with everyone, readers were told, not merely attractive women, who could be a secondary social priority. The mantra was to recognize and be nice to everyone, so others would see you as a kind and attractive person.

After about 2007-2008, popular advice changed to emphasize the importance of an attractive profile photo or video, which could be acquired by hiring a professional who specialized in photography for online introduction-and-dating services.

Online introduction-and-dating became the social and practical norm in North America during the early years of microblogging. Although online dating had existed previously, in more primitive forms, it gained in popularity, portability, functionality and immediacy to such an extent that offline projection of identity-and-persona became secondary to status-projection and validation online.

Suddenly, entire modes of behavior geared toward maintaining a social presence offline became unnecessary. It let the air out of the balloon for public social interactions generally, far beyond flirting. In unstructured, gender-integrated public settings such as coffee shops (and bars, although to a lesser degree, at least in North America), especially for men, it was no longer necessary to engage in the social and emotional grooming of public acquaintances in order to have them recognize and validate one's social status and public persona, regardless of gender preferences and whether anyone involved was active in the dating scene.

As a social hypothesis, it is proposed here that the migration of status-seeking and social-status maintenance to the Internet de-capitalized face-to-face social relations. Investing in face-to-face social relations in the public sphere no longer represented an optimal use of time and energy. Consequently, real-world loneliness increased for both men and women, while attention-seeking exploded online.

• • • • •

This is what love must feel like when I fucking suck at it.

26 July 2012 Synonymph ‏@naughtynaffit [^166.28] https://twitter.com/naughtynaffit/status/228717979771232257 Her bio and stats on 13 January 2013: Love me, love my fiends. San Diego, CA · http://favstar.fm/users/naughtynaffit - 9,897 tweets. 1,285 following. 1,948 followers.

do you guys still love me

24 February 2013 Sputnik Sweetheart ‏@Verlieren [^166.29] https://twitter.com/Verlieren/status/305738797809819648 Her bio and stats on 25 February 2013: Creator of Google, previously psychotic person. Not to make you fall in love with me but I probably don't have AIDS. http://tinyurl.com/verinstagram - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001856/ - 11,959 tweets. 503 following. 16,109 followers.

Hellooooooo, I'm over here!!!!

14 July 2013 Fuzzy LePimp ‏@FuzzyPimple [^166.30] https://twitter.com/FuzzyPimple/status/356327748848988160 Bio: I used to have a pimple, now I don't. Location: Under The Westgate. Melbourne. 31,313 tweets. 633 following. 10,544 followers.

i'm starting to think i'm on twitter to annoy as many people as possible without actually having to talk to them.

6 September 2012 sweet p ‏@preawsaurus [^166.31] https://twitter.com/preawsaurus/status/243641059136114689 Her bio and stats on 8 November 2012: i am nice. at least that's the way i perceive myself. i could be wrong. Location: Tellus · http://favstar.fm/users/preawsaurus/most_retweeted - 12,197 tweets. 910 following. 8,090 followers.

Frequent tweeters have shorter real-life relationships.

May represent correlation rather than causality. http://www.mid-day.com/relationships/2012/jun/250612-Beer-guzzlers-likelier-to-have-sex-on-first-date.htm

28 June 2012 @aem76us https://twitter.com/aem76us/status/218271423481909249

The URL in the tweet points to an article about research on several topics conducted by Christian Rudder: "Beer guzzlers likelier to have sex on first date," by ANI, Mid Day Infomedia, Mumbai, 25 June 2012. http://www.mid-day.com/relationships/2012/jun/250612-Beer-guzzlers-likelier-to-have-sex-on-first-date.htm

Christian Rudder @christianrudder [^166.32] Twitter bio and stats on 3 December 2013: Brooklyn. 33 tweets. 8 following. 460 followers.

ANI @ANI_news [^166.33] Twitter bio and stats on 3 December 2013: Asian News International.Multi-media news agency,content for information platforms:TV,Internet,broadband,newspapers,mobiles https://www.facebook.com/ANINEWS.IN - Location: India · aninews.in \- 35,184 tweets. 0 following. 50,808 followers.

Mid Day Infomedia @mid_day [^166.34] Twitter bio and stats on 3 December 2013: India's most exciting tabloid! Location: Mumbai, India · mid-day.com - 19,662 tweets. 11 following. 52,357 followers.

*pulls away from kissing*

"do you have wifi?"

16 September 2013 snowjob ‏@canadasandra [^166.35] https://twitter.com/canadasandra/status/379751491776413696 Her Twitter bio and stats on 3 December 2013: madly retweeting caffeine whore. Location: Canada · http://favstar.fm/users/canadasandra/awarded - 87,396 tweets. 18,628 following. 21,296 followers.

Brb, just checking my Validations I mean Notifications.

6 September 2013 snowjob ‏@canadasandra [^166.36] https://twitter.com/canadasandra/status/375324451048415232 Her Twitter bio and stats on 3 December 2013: madly retweeting caffeine whore. Location: Canada · http://favstar.fm/users/canadasandra/awarded - 87,396 tweets. 18,628 following. 21,296 followers.

*rushes past your open arms to plug phone into outlet*

30 December 2013 Ed Lee ‏@smedlee [^166.37] https://twitter.com/smedlee/status/417814477283655680 Bio: Writer for the teevee and other stuff. From Jersey. In LA. Location: Los Angeles, CA · favstar.fm/users/smedlee - 2,297 tweets. 886 following. 2,838 followers.

Step 1: Join Twitter.

Step 2: Practice writing to speed daters.

21 July 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^166.38] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/226615631028563968 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 14,015 tweets. 3,128 following. 9,547 followers.

@nerdamage **More like speed haters haha**

21 July 2012 Kerry, maybe ‏@HollaKBayBay [^166.39] https://twitter.com/HollaKBayBay/status/226622953830371328 Her bio: Planetary inhabitant, Big Island soul, BUMPING OLDIES OFF MY CELLULAR PHONE. Location: 0s ago. 7,511 tweets. 1,644 following. 613 followers.

Twitter isn't a dating site. Btw, my twitter crush hasn't tweeted for 15 hours. What the fuck.

3 June 2012 Chrisanna4real ‏@chrisanna4real [^166.40] https://twitter.com/chrisanna4real/status/209472235558281217 Her bio and stats on 27 October 2012: I RT A LOT. My life will make you laugh. I'm drunk a lot. Beer me. Most at home in @chopper4jk's pants and my best girl is @the_martinigirl. IG: chrisanna4real Location: So Cal, that's all you get. · http://favstar.fm/users/chrisanna4real - 31,994 tweets. 9,265 following. 17,404 followers.

"I'm never alone as long as I have my phone" is the third most depressing thing I've said today

22 July 2012 Mary Charlene ‏@IamEnidColeslaw [^166.41] https://twitter.com/iamenidcoleslaw/status/227132953648590848 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: the Garbage Pail Kids version of Zooey Deschanel. Location: Chicago. 13,504 tweets. 4,054 following. 84,168 followers.

Your twitter account is the perfect metric of how starved you are for attention.

18 July 2013 kdn ‏@kdn13 [^166.42] https://twitter.com/kdn13/status/357950321051447296 Her bio and stats on 15 November 2013: I have a weakness for split infinitives. Location: Bay Area, CA. 5,267 tweets. 330 following. 21,685 followers.

Your tweets scream for attention

9 April 2012 Mudblood ‏@DiscoLemonKayy [^166.43] https://twitter.com/#!/DiscoLemonKayy/status/189469449844305922 Her bio and stats on 30 October 2012: I'm a shade too awkward for pretty; this muggle bullshit is for the birds. Location: into the wild :) 26,411 tweets. 907 following. 6,509 followers.

@DiscoLemonKayy **Fucking right they do.**

9 April 2012 Sarah Bat ‏ @sheseemslegit [^166.44] https://twitter.com/#!/sheseemslegit/status/190196561647636480 Her screen name, bio and stats on 22 November 2013: KittenPrincess @sheseemslegit - Vodka made from glitter. http://favstar.fm/users/sheseemslegit... Location: Catville. 57,051 tweets. 1,105 following. 11,578 followers. Underlining added.

(Reduces despair to another quippy sentence)

12 February 2013 donni ‏@donni [^166.45] https://twitter.com/donni/status/301260787199127552 His bio and stats on 15 February 2013: AKA Donni Saphire. Joke sayer, sketch writer, butt dancer. I'll do your showcase for free! More at TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com ) Stealing babies is wrong. Location: Chicago but restless · favstar.fm/users/donni/recent - 9,973 tweets. 895 following. 27,767 followers.

1. I write some hyperbole about blowjobs.

2. You RT the fuck out of it.

3. I temporarily feel alive but remain dead inside.

4. Back to 1.

25 July 2012 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^166.46] https://twitter.com/schmoodles/status/228356332921696256

Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

tweetzophrenic.

7 June 2012 muchkin ‏@prettymuches - https://twitter.com/prettymuches/status/210821069119029249 Her screen name, ID, bio and stats on 13 May 2013: ♥ @grrrawrr_ [^166.47] 7,991 tweets. 1,325 following. 1,958 followers.

now I can't fall into anyone's "I'm bored pay attention to me" trap unless they show up at my door and start screaming

17 July 2013 Rupee Groupie ‏@rupeegroupie [^166.48] https://twitter.com/rupeegroupie/status/357646521765859328 Twitter bio: feminazi cartoonist. Location: Cascadia · comixxen.com - 12,910 tweets. 597 following. 435 followers.

I only have enough validation for five people.

12 March 2014 Rock God ‏@redpawn3 [^166.49] https://twitter.com/redpawn3/status/443924671474315265 Bio: favstar.fm/users/redpawn3/recent - 97,602 tweets. 4,677 following. 6,912 followers.

omw to the validation store in case anyone needs anything

25 July 2013 matt ‏@biorhythmist [^166.50] https://twitter.com/biorhythmist/status/360549830587715584 Twitter bio and stats on 26 July 2013: twitter user. Location: San Francisco · about.me/biorhythmist - 12,505 tweets. 613 following. 34,821 followers.

omw = on my way

Would be nice if someone retweeted this or starred this or noticed this.

8 June 2011 Saba Khan ‏@sabakhan [^166.51] https://twitter.com/sabakhan/status/78658704462987265 Her bio and stats on 13 January 2013: musLim humorist. http://favstar.fm/users/sabakhan - 1,251 tweets. 1,356 following. 1,617 followers. This post was retweeted 20 times within the first year.

I WILL NOT REST UNTIL YOU FINALLY RETWEET ME.

25 March 2012 skullcat ‏@skullcat [^166.52] https://twitter.com/skullcat/status/184143347982663681 Her bio and stats on 13 January 2013, when her most recent tweet was dated 14 October 2012: Using sarcasm as a natural defense against companionship, and alcohol as artificial protection from sobriety. Mom to teen, designer to graphics. Location: Vancouver · http://favstar.fm/users/skullcat - 29,183 tweets. 6,736 following. 8,289 followers.

Who are you tweeting to?

24 October 2012 Not the Lord ‏@byronblurb [^166.53] https://twitter.com/byronblurb/status/261218515585998848 His bio: skilled at the art of changing the subject; unlimited fountain of useless nonsense; usually able to finish 2 cheeseburgers with no problem. Location: Close enough to come visit. · http://www.favstar.fm/users/byronblurb/recent - 9,784 tweets. 5,539 following. 5,950 followers.

There's a difference between seeking intimacy with SOMEONE, and seeking validation from ANYONE.

5 March 2012 Ted Kaczynski ‏@The_Separatist_ [^166.54] https://twitter.com/#!/The_Separatist_/status/176722648099860482 His bio and stats on 6 November 2012: NO SOLICITING! @TrailOfSlime leads to everywhere... Instagram: mordecaiambugaton http://audioboo.fm/mordecaiambugaton Location: A place that time forgot... · http://favstar.fm/users/The_Separatist_ - 58,306 tweets. 505 following. 4,445 followers. That screen name is a parody. The real Ted Kaczynski ‏is the Unabomber.

Making new friends.

7 September 2012 Mulder ‏@redpawn3 [^166.55] https://twitter.com/redpawn3/status/244056333052153856

His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Solitary Dad, with my kids 5/6 out of 14 days. Location: Backstage · http://favstar.fm/users/redpawn3 - 58,559 tweets. 3,037 following. 5,069 followers.

Do you think I'm a nice guy?

4 October 2012 Steve ‏@FSUSteve [^166.56] https://twitter.com/FSUSteve/status/254004763283304449 His bio: It's always my fault @mekaylasmoody ! Florida · http://favstar.fm/users/FSUSteve/recent 55,624 tweets. 3,472 following. 11,716 followers. His bio and stats on 16 May 2013: Twitter is the Matrix. Location: Miami · favstar.fm/users/FSUSteve \- 65,814 tweets. 4,634 following. 16,092 followers.

Are we friends?

19 December 2012 kdn ‏@kdn13 [^166.57] https://twitter.com/kdn13/status/281642768386899968 Her bio and stats on 21 December 2012: I have a weakness for split infinitives. Location: Bay Area, CA · instagram.com/kdnthirteen - 4,778 tweets. 258 following. 20,211 followers.

I didn't get enough attention from friends and fam limping around all day on my injured foot so I'm gonna need you to star this.

3 June 2012 Heather ‏@evilmensuck [^166.58] https://twitter.com/evilmensuck/status/209421944146231296 Her Twitter bio and stats on 11 June 2012: These things make you sound stupid. 9,581 tweets. 2,220 following. 2,292 followers. No account with this ID found on 12 May 2013. 83 people starred this tweet within the first six weeks.

**my parents never retweeted me as a kid, you guys** :(

12 September 2012 Illuminated Mind ‏@illuminatedwndr [^166.59] https://twitter.com/illuminatedwndr/status/246115277278949376 His Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 3 December 2013: Illuminated Wonder @illuminatedwndr - KiK / IG: illuminatedmind - favstar.fm/users/illuminatedwndr - 49,287 tweets. 1,907 following. 8,567 followers.

Boy, people who need attention continue to find new ways to get it, he tweeted.

17 April 2012 Alec Sulkin ‏@thesulk [^166.60] https://twitter.com/thesulk/status/192330636885884929 His bio and stats on 22 November 2012: Breaker of Swift Mustache Hairs. Location: Los Angeles. 6,748 tweets. 836 following. 481,460 followers.

Fuck. I'm becoming one of those "girls with cute bangs" that document every aspect of their lives on the Internet so they feel less alone.

18 July 2011 kdn @kdn13 [^166.61] https://twitter.com/#!/kdn13/status/93083084529991680 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: I have a weakness for split infinitives. Location: Bay Area, CA. 4,724 tweets. 247 following. 19,916 followers.

It's (so cute) (not cute) that all of (us) (you) are so self absorbed no one really knows anyone.

29 May 2012 muchkin ‏@prettymuches - https://twitter.com/prettymuches/status/207617984192192512 Her screen name, ID, bio and stats on 13 May 2013: ♥ @grrrawrr_ [^166.62] 7,991 tweets. 1,325 following. 1,958 followers.

"I'm not here to make friends" - A lonely person wishing he knew how to make friends here.

5 June 2012 Czar M ‏@MayhemCzar [^166.63] https://twitter.com/MayhemCzar/status/209932202090307584 His bio and stats on 31 January 2013: I am the Czar of mayhem. That's all you need to know right now. Location: Siberia · http://favstar.fm/users/MayhemCzar - 590 tweets. 934 following. 1,725 followers.

Does Twitter give out an Award for "I Have A Pretty Good Life but Pretending To Be Unhappy Gets Me Attention"?

I'd like to nominate someone

18 April 2012 Jenipher ‏@jehujeni [^166.64] https://twitter.com/jehujeni/status/192693686113550337 Her bio and stats on 20 December 2012: ✧Staring out the window ~ Daydreaming✧⋆ My tweets, like a bunch of Bouncy Balls All Over the Place. http://favstar.fm/users/jehujeni - 38,093 tweets. 1,601 following. 2,736 followers.

Something angry.

27 May 2012 JuddyFickenDammt ‏@iAmJuddy [^166.65] https://twitter.com/iamjuddy/status/206752007812423681 His bio and stats on 25 April 2013: Cynical, sarcastic asshole, and I'm fine with it, so piss off. I do not like you and I never will. Deal with it. Fuck you. Location: Infinity · http://favstar.fm/users/iAmJuddy - 22,941 tweets. 10,541 following. 21,492 followers.

[insecurity disguised as bravado]

11 March 2012 Every Tweet Ever ‏@EveryTweet_Ever [^166.66] https://twitter.com/#!/EveryTweet_Ever/status/179083106014334979 Bio and stats on 25 February 2013: Pretty much every tweet you have already seen and will ever see. All of you could stand to be a little more creative. Created and written by @ChrisSerico. Location: Everywhere · http://favstar.fm/users/EveryTweet_Ever - 5,510 tweets. 471 following. 37,168 followers.

I would love to mute your ego.

27 December 2011 Bitch_In_Me @Bitch_In_Me - https://twitter.com/#!/Bitch_In_Me/status/151758227598622720 She had 1,392 followers. Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 20 July 2013: Bitch_In_Me @BitchingMe [^166.67] In love with my Reality so don't bother. My DM has autodelete function. And FYI, manners matter. Location: Somewhere but not there · favstar.fm/users/BitchingMe - 19,379 tweets. 12,094 following. 13,451 followers.

I don't know if I want to murder you or follow you.

22 July 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^166.68] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/227201240940027905 His bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,477 tweets. 3,154 following. 9,233 followers.

Maybe you should stick to the retweets tonight.

29 July 2012 SpasticSkittle ‏@Kritzwit [^166.69] https://twitter.com/Kritzwit/status/229768900567506944 Her Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 4 September 2013: SallySkittle @Kritzwit - mind your own business, nosy rosy (except this: I have never actually seen @byronblurb pull off that cheeseburger stunt). Location: CT · http://favstar.fm/users/Kritzwit/recent - 4,413 tweets. 1,397 following. 1,708 followers.

Don't shop when hungry. Don't date when horny. Don't tweet when angry.

17 April 2012 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^166.70] https://twitter.com/schmoodles/status/192344327727480834 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

As of 25 June 2012 this tweet had accumulated 500 retweets and 642 stars.

Tweet if you have poor impulse control.

26 March 2012 Miss Fuckalicious ‏@PyrBliss [^166.71] https://twitter.com/#!/PyrBliss/status/184513559949090816 Her bio and stats on 7 November 2012: Swearing on Twitter is my anti-drug. Come for the cuteness, stay for the rage. I say FUCK! a lot. Location: In your pocket · http://favstar.fm/users/PyrBliss - 2,916 tweets. 838 following. 26,747 followers.

Twitter is simultaneously great for my ego and a cruel reminder that the world doesn't revolve around me.

6 February 2013 OhNo$heTwitnt ‏@OhNoSheTwitnt [^166.72] https://twitter.com/OhNoSheTwitnt/status/299070658527240192 Her bio and stats on: I do shut-up comedy. (I write jokes on Twitter and avoid real life conversation) My mother's Italian, my father's Jewish and I should be in therapy. Location: Jersey girl living in NC · http://favstar.fm/users/OhNoSheTwitnt/recent - 30,000 tweets. 598 following. 14,467 followers.

instagrammed a picture of the 8 year old.

she says "are there any comments on that?"

i've created a monster

22 December 2012 Sputnik Sweetheart ‏@Verlieren [^166.73] https://twitter.com/Verlieren/status/282702277607837696 Her bio and stats on 25 February 2013: Creator of Google, previously psychotic person. Not to make you fall in love with me but I probably don't have AIDS. http://tinyurl.com/verinstagram - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001856/ - 11,956 tweets. 499 following. 16,096 followers.

I used to think that being an adult was difficult until I discovered Twitter, and now being an adult is almost fucking impossible.

9 November 2011 Greta Clue ‏@Cuntemplate [^166.74] https://twitter.com/cuntemplate/status/134328664438484992 Her Twitter bio and stats on 3 December 2013: I import my tweets from one of three places: my brain, my heart, and my vagina. Location: Canada · favstar.fm/users/Cuntemplate - 1,878 tweets. 917 following. 2,679 followers. On 3 December 2013 her most recent tweet was dated 21 October 2012.

It's not you, it's your validation.

21 November 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^166.75] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/403699436582236161 Twitter bio of this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 16,371 tweets. 726 following. 27,435 followers.

Andy Warhol said in February 1968 that each of us would be famous someday for 15 minutes. Social media now gives everyone the opportunity to constantly pursue fame.

Twitter: Because my parents never said they were proud of me.

25 July 2011 Nick Twist @Nick_Twist [^166.76] https://twitter.com/#!/Nick_Twist/status/95579875435483136 On 28 July 2013 this account was found to have been disabled and with this screen name, ID, bio and stats: NICK @nick_twist - 1 tweet. 0 following. 0 followers.

I wonder if my twitter husband is awake because I want to send him pics of how many fun size Twix bars I can fit inside my mouth.

21 July 2012 Wistful Blue Twysta ‏@WistfulBlue [^166.77] https://twitter.com/WistfulBlue/status/226564555533328384 Her bio and stats on 12 March 2013: I'm the girl with the Happy Meal tattoo, you've probably never heard of me. Married @frankcurtisB in a $7 wedding dress. Location: @TongueTwysta's pocket. 18,733 tweets. 1,633 following. 7,497 followers.

Just decided to see how many baby carrots I can fit in my mouth at once. I'm 33.

8:19 p.m. PST 16 December 2013 Pony Starwars ‏@tigersgoroooar [^166.78 and ^166.79 for the photo] https://twitter.com/tigersgoroooar/status/412799285756182528 Her bio and stats on 23 December 2013: not interested. getinmybrains.com. 4,449 tweets. 459 following. 25,377 followers.

Ten minutes later she posted a photo that showed her hand holding 13 baby carrots, with a TV remote control sitting on the couch below:  https://twitter.com/tigersgoroooar/status/412801771418161152

Look ma, no life.

8 May 2012 Deep ‏@_xLNc [^166.80] https://twitter.com/#!/_xLNc/status/199937797484855296 His bio and stats on 29 November 2012: Fukra. Location: Ludhiana. http://favstar.fm/users/_xLNc/most_retweeted - 3,948 tweets. 445 following. 3,178 followers. Ludhiana is in Punjab, India. His Twitter bio and stats on 3 December 2013: #CFC. Location: Punjab. 5,737 tweets. 386 following. 3,815 followers. The hashtag in his bio refers to the Chelsea Football Club.

All I wanted was a father but I've got like 12 active Twitter accounts and regularly date then dump myself on Facebook so nbd

4 June 2012 bllix ‏@bllix [^166.81] https://twitter.com/bllix/status/209828165282037761 Her bio and stats on 30 October 2012: Electronic music producer/knob-twiddler, MYLF, Multilingual programmer, Attorney at LOL, Thug 4 Life, Laundromancer, METAL AS FVCK. Damn, Gina. Location: Portland, OR. · http://bllix.tumblr.com - 12,746 tweets. 501 following. 4,516 followers.

nbd = no big deal. The acronym was not over-used at the time, but a year later appeared to have overtaken YOLO in popularity IRL and online.

Breaking up with myself again.

Zero long-term potential.

1 January 2013 bllix ‏@bllix [^166.82] https://twitter.com/bllix/status/286215607337234432 Her bio and stats on 30 October 2012: Electronic music producer/knob-twiddler, MYLF, Multilingual programmer, Attorney at LOL, Thug 4 Life, Laundromancer, METAL AS FVCK. Damn, Gina. Location: Portland, OR. · http://bllix.tumblr.com - 12,746 tweets. 501 following. 4,516 followers.

Looking back, it's hard to believe that in just a few short months I've gone from being a nobody to being a nobody with a Twitter account.

12 April 2012 Alex in Chains ‏@AlexEverling \- https://twitter.com/AlexEverling/status/190641245398372352 Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 3 December 2013: Alex in Chains @Alex_N_Chains [^166.83] It's hard to believe in this short time I've gone from being a nobody to being a nobody with a Twitter account! http://favstar.fm/users/Alex_N_Chains - Location: Ohio · favstar.fm/users/Alex_N_Chains - 11,544 tweets. 5,799 following. 6,297 followers.

I don't think this Twitter thing is gonna end well for most of us.

14 May 2012 DannyDogMouth ‏@dannydogmouth [^166.84] https://twitter.com/#!/dannydogmouth/status/201968678080753664 Bio and stats on 4 December 2013: I once made a coffee for George Lucas. Location: Ireland · favstar.fm/users/dannydog - 16,879 tweets. 1,120 following. 5,599 followers.

Before Twitter, I used to just sit staring at the place where my computer is now.

12 November 2012 Rashid ‏@rockingtheshow [^166.85] https://twitter.com/rockingtheshow/status/268129202799259648 Bio and stats on 15 November 2012: Don't you just hate it when a bio doesn't quite end the way it nutella. Media relations. Location: U.K - Dubai أ.عَ.م 11,713 tweets. 3,881 following. 5,112 followers.

Before Twitter, I used to call this "thinking".

28 August 2011 B Jones @notreallyart [^166.86] https://twitter.com/#!/notreallyart/status/107839620946993152 Twitter bio and stats on 4 December 2013: Nothing to see here. Please move along. Nothing to see here. http://favstar.fm/users/notreallyart Location: Dallas · favstar.fm/users/notreallyart - 2,186 tweets. 690 following. 934 followers.

My life before Twitter was boring; but now after Twitter, it's pathetic.

27 July 2012 Noor Shamma ‏@NoorShamma [^166.87] https://twitter.com/noorshamma/status/228769634919260160 Her bio and stats on 13 February 2013: I don't cry. No one's worth my boogers. http://noorshamma.tumblr.com [Instagram: noorshamma] Location: Not Found · favstar.fm/users/NoorShamma - 4,775 tweets. 785 following. 5,324 followers. "Not found" are her words in her profile.

Is this the thug life? Is this just fantasy?

12 April 2013 DOLPHIN ‏@gab1g5 [^166.88] https://twitter.com/gab1g5/status/322888321338597378 Bio and stats the next day: audioboo.fm/boos/1229055-gab1g5... | Busy spending the rest of my life with @notbr0ke_ | 3/14/12. Location: North Carolina, USA · favstar.fm/users/gab1g5 - 21,532 tweets. 548 following. 1,725 followers. The 1 in @gab1g5 is the number one.

@gab1g5 **caught in a drive-by, no escape from reality**

13 April 2013 Sneakernets ‏@Sneakernets [^166.89] https://twitter.com/Sneakernets/status/322888512200396800 Bio and stats the next day: Defunct, insufferable cis-isomer all 'bout dat lyfe #NSFW . Gardevoir is my waifu 4evr #TeamRarity. Location: Viridian Forest · pikamansblogofhate.blogspot.com - 17,447 tweets. 699 following. 556 followers.

This is so much better than having fun.

Friday night, 13 July 2012 Jim Gaffigan ‏@JimGaffigan [^166.90] https://twitter.com/jimgaffigan/status/224004180124246020 His bio and stats on 15 November 2012: Husband to hot wife, father of 5, comedian, actor, writer, former sleeper Mr. Universe avail NOW at JimGaffigan.com $5 Location: NYC - America Tour starts Jan · http://jimgaffigan.com/appearances.shtml - 3,500 tweets. 851 following. 1,411,278 followers.

I don't know how to explain twitter to other people without sounding like an asshole.

18 June 2012 Gio ‏@nerdsrockk [^166.91] https://twitter.com/nerdsrockk/status/214629318104592384 Her bio and stats on 12 January 2013: I can lick my toe, what can you do? Instagram: nerdsrockk. Location: Los Angeles · nerdsrockk.tumblr.com - 15,236 tweets. 1,158 following. 10,029 followers.

The people that Twitter says are similar to me are totally disgusting.

That seems right.

18 May 2012 JRehling ‏@JRehling [^166.92] https://twitter.com/JRehling/status/203504839127343106 At that time there was a box on each person's main page suggesting similar people. When others looked at your feed stream they were presented with the same list of people.

Twitter, why are the people "similar to me" in prison?

2 November 2012 Brian ‏@BDGarp [^166.93] https://twitter.com/BDGarp/status/264555061655523328 His bio and stats on 5 November 2012: If you're like most people, don't be. Location: Earth. http://about.me/bdgarp - 11,624 tweets. 2,162 following. 11,763 followers.

I don't know if i'm more depressed with, or without twitter...

8 March 2012 Never Mind ‏@MildlyPerplexed [^166.94] https://twitter.com/#!/MildlyPerplexed/status/177875136622501888 She had 293 followers on 21 May 2012. Her bio and stats on 21 February 2013: Hi my name is Dorota I have no clue what I'm thinking or saying half the time I love rainbows and music and I seriously don't know why you're still reading this. Location: Where in the world am I??? · http://ihavecookiesjk.tumblr.com/ - 7,908 tweets. 656 following. 247 followers.

how to use twitter

1. tell a robot a joke

2. wait

3. the robot will tell you if some people laughed or not

4. you are alone in your bedroom

10 February 2014 Ramsey Nasser ‏@ra [^166.95] https://twitter.com/ra/status/433091695937585152 Bio and stats on 14 February 2014: World Famous Commuter Scientist. Location: Brooklyn, NY · nas.sr - 8,014 tweets. 200 following. 1,391 followers.

Reply:

@ra @shu

1. Tell a joke.

2. Wait

3. Your robot will tell you if your friends laughed or not.

4. Your solitude is intact, yet you interact.

11 February 2014 Aria Stewart ‏@aredridel [^166.96] https://twitter.com/aredridel/status/433382378699259904 Bio and stats on 14 February 2014: You know. For kids! ⚧ - Location: Somerville, MA · dinhe.net/~aredridel/ - 13,541 tweets. 687 following. 414 followers.

Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody's watching, and constantly crave social validation through twitter, fb, tumblr etc.

29 January 2012 Josh S ‏@jorshuwah [^166.97] https://twitter.com/jorshuwah/status/163755073007136771 His bio and stats on 28 March 2013: favstar.fm/users/jorshuwah – Location: Sydney, Australia. · jorshuwah.tumblr.com - 2,254 tweets. 996 following. 1,909 followers.

Feeling mistweeted.

7 June 2012 Alene Parr ‏@aleneparr [^166.98] https://twitter.com/aleneparr/status/210822709851062272 Her bio and stats on 27 November 2012: Psychology Student. Sweatervest Enthusiast. Professional Cynic. Cheese Connoisseur. This is stuff I think about. http://favstar.fm/users/aleneparr - Location: Ontario · http://alenetalks.blogspot.ca/ - 6,830 tweets. 4,513 following. 7,090 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 12 August 2013: I couldn't quit Twitter. Location: Ontario · alenetalks.blogspot.ca. 8,957 tweets. 2,338 following. 6,744 followers.

PUBLIC SULKING

19 May 2012 Every Tweet Ever ‏@EveryTweet_Ever [^166.99] https://twitter.com/#!/EveryTweet_Ever/status/204006437939200001 Bio and stats on 25 February 2013: Pretty much every tweet you have already seen and will ever see. All of you could stand to be a little more creative. Created and written by @ChrisSerico. Location: Everywhere · http://favstar.fm/users/EveryTweet_Ever - 5,510 tweets. 471 following. 37,168 followers.

Pay attention to me

27 May 2012 El Jefe ‏@ElJefe121 - https://twitter.com/ElJefe121/status/206838791682523136 His screen name, ID, profile and stats on 12 December 2012: Rap Game Jeffrey @RapGameJefe - Con - http://favstar.fm/users/RapGameJefe/recent - 10,871 tweets. 464 following. 1,821 followers. His Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 4 August 2013: OG Jefe @OGJefe [^166.100] Con. Location: On the run · favstar.fm/users/OGJefe/recent - 18,294 tweets. 265 following. 2,367 followers. He had 451 followers at the time of this tweet.

Her: Aww is the poor baby sad because strangers on the Internet aren't showing her enough attention?

Me: Shut up Mom. You don't get it.

4 March 2013 Tricia ‏@Im_Tricia [^166.101] https://twitter.com/Im_Tricia/status/308755415007625216 Her bio and stats on 4 April 2013: Jazz hands for life. Follow me on Instagram & Vine: Im_Tricia. Location: Los Angeles · http://favstar.fm/users/Im_Tricia - 3,350 tweets. 655 following. 25,989 followers.

If being addicted to the approval of random people I've never met over the Internet is wrong then... I forgot where I was going with this.

21 July 2012 Kitty Fantastic!!! ‏@scarysherry777 - https://twitter.com/scarysherry777/status/226528487811452928 Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 28 May 2013: βιυε ❦ @SerpentineFlesh [^166.102] Flesh Charmer. Location: Pale Blue Dot · favstar.fm/users/SerpentineFlesh - 29,530 tweets. 720 following. 968 followers.

The biggest Paradox w/Twitter is the fact that you can draw an immense amount of Attention to yourself w/o drawing any Attention to yourself

11 April 2012 Jason Light ‏ @JasonLight73 [^166.103] https://twitter.com/#!/JasonLight73/status/190264793213575168 His Twitter bio and stats on 21 May 2013: The Official Twitter Feed For me..It's Official because I said so! Location: USA-Earth-MilkyWay-Everywhere · favstar.fm/users/JasonLight - 73,299 tweets. 4,345 following. 7,162 followers.

Twitter is an Egosystem.

24 October 2011 Señor Moon ‏@luiki89 - https://twitter.com/#!/luiki89/status/128586391004250113 Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 5 December 2013: Kim Jong-Luiki @OhhhLuiss [^166.104] [Inserts witty description of self. Fails miserably] @Snarkaphile is my twin brother. IG: OhhLuiss – Location: State of Gardens · favstar.fm/users/OhhhLuis - 9,727 tweets. 1,714 following. 2,847 followers.

Oh this song?

Definitely about me.

19 November 2009 Poeks @poeks [^166.105] on Favrd. URL lost. Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on Twitter on 31 December 2012: Jen Oslislo @poeks - Some commie lesbo. Location: Portland, OR · http://flavors.me/poeks - 2,133 tweets. 65 following. 2,942 followers.

Bitch please,

that subtweet was for me.

31 May 2012 20th Century Fox ‏@imabbylouise [^166.106] https://twitter.com/imabbylouise/status/208373569745465346

She had 2,278 followers on that date. Her Twitter bio and stats on 5 December 2013: Sweet n Sassy. Location: somewhere shady · favstar.fm/users/imabbylouise - 1,853 tweets. 1,309 following. 2,266 followers.

Whenever I fall in love with a man from twitter, I look to see which women he's RTing so I know who to kill.

15 July 2012 Poe corno2 ‏@NotJPo [^166.107] https://twitter.com/notjpo/status/224652056093392896 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: All my tweets are 100% true, idiot. (name courtesy of @SweetTweetsBRO). Location: Peauxland · http://favstar.fm/users/NotJPo/status/245683543525711872 - 11,835 tweets. 1,983 following. 18,682 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 15 December 2013: I have PMS. 16,932 tweets. 2,187 following. 26,140 followers.

Don't be like that. You know those other tweeters meant nothing to me.

23 July 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^166.108] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/227492249393573890 His bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,477 tweets. 3,154 following. 9,233 followers.

Same pattern every time:

Open Twitter App

Check my Mentions

Check his TL

Get all Mad

Take Deep Breath

Remember it's Twitter

Write a subtweet

6 August 2012 OhSweetCharity ‏@OhSweetCharity [^166.109] https://twitter.com/OhSweetCharity/status/232572719990964224 Her bio and stats on 8 January 2013: My tweets are a mix of romance, joke attempts, venting, song lyrics, twitter references, #StonerPrbs and subtweets. http://favstar.fm/users/OhSweetCharity Location: In Most School Boys' Dreams. - 31,848 tweets. 998 following. 5,321 followers.

You better hurry up. She tweeted 10 minutes ago and you haven't starred it yet. Slacker.

6 January 2013 mrs abs ‏@PrincessAbs24 [^166.110] https://twitter.com/PrincessAbs24/status/288072586724782081 No Twitter account with this ID was found on 6 December 2013.

Just remember: if you're not taking care of her stars and RTs, someone else will.

31 July 2012 skullcat ‏@skullcat [^166.111] https://twitter.com/skullcat/status/230323892219170818 Her bio and stats on 13 January 2013, when her most recent tweet was dated 14 October 2012: Using sarcasm as a natural defense against companionship, and alcohol as artificial protection from sobriety. Mom to teen, designer to graphics. Location: Vancouver · http://favstar.fm/users/skullcat - 29,183 tweets. 6,736 following. 8,289 followers.

I went to sleep for a few hours and my Twitter Crush moved on.

11 November 2012 Bouncing Blonde ‏@bouncingblonde [^166.112] https://twitter.com/bouncingblonde/status/267682026478530561 Her bio and stats on 16 December 2012: I considered becoming a Brunette, but Follow The Bouncing Brown didn't have quite the same ring to it. Location: Victoria, B.C. O CANADA! · http://favstar.fm/users/bouncingblonde - 3,053 tweets. 988 following. 6,961 followers.

I can tell what's going on by your distracted replies and slow response time. Hope ur convo with her is going better than ours!

*thumbs up*!

30 May 2012 Naghmeh ‏@dgphotos [^166.113] https://twitter.com/dgphotos/status/208009185491816448 Her bio and stats on 9 January 2013: Will work for poutine http://favstar.fm/users/dgphotos/recent - Location: Ontari-ari-ari-o · http://favstar.fm/users/dgphotos - 10,022 tweets. 5,706 following. 6,172 followers. ur convo = your conversation.

Two months later she was taking a more aggressive approach:

Listen girlie, we may be buddies on Twitter with xoxo's and :) and all. But lay a finger on my crush's TL and it'll be the last thing you do

31 July 2012 Naghmeh ‏@dgphotos [^166.114] https://twitter.com/dgphotos/status/230327327492554752 Her bio and stats on 9 January 2013: Will work for poutine http://favstar.fm/users/dgphotos/recent - Location: Ontari-ari-ari-o · http://favstar.fm/users/dgphotos - 10,022 tweets. 5,706 following. 6,172 followers. TL = timeline.

Thanks for flirting with my twitter crush you whore,

oh wait...

you just RT'D me.

Nevermind, I love you!

8 June 2012 Chrisanna4real ‏@chrisanna4real [^166.115] https://twitter.com/chrisanna4real/status/211333947601326080 Her bio and stats on 27 October 2012: I RT A LOT. My life will make you laugh. I'm drunk a lot. Beer me. Most at home in @chopper4jk's pants and my best girl is @the_martinigirl. IG: chrisanna4real Location: So Cal, that's all you get. · http://favstar.fm/users/chrisanna4real - 31,994 tweets. 9,265 following. 17,404 followers.

I'll retweet all your twitter crushes tweets and you'll sit there quietly and watch like a good girl.

18 January 2013 Just Bella ‏@Hello_Bella [^166.116] https://twitter.com/Hello_Bella/status/292230249696067584 Her bio: I'm a naughty tweeter... I think. http://favstar.fm/users/Hello_Bella/recent - http://favstar.fm/users/Hello_Bella - 50,292 tweets. 3,764 following. 12,878 followers. Her timeline on that date overwhelmingly consisted of retweets, lending credence to her statement.

• • • • •

some of you do an impressive job of trying to hide your massive ego in 140 characters.

1 February 2012 Sweet P @preawsaurus [^166.117] https://twitter.com/#!/preawsaurus/status/164737214654328832 Her bio and stats on 8 November 2012: i am nice. at least that's the way i perceive myself. i could be wrong. Location: Tellus · http://favstar.fm/users/preawsaurus/most_retweeted - 12,197 tweets. 910 following. 8,090 followers.

I am my twitter crush.

27 June 2012 lady balls ‏@goodballs [^166.118] https://twitter.com/goodballs/status/218100217726246915 Her screen name, bio and stats on 15 March 2013: ephing adoraballs @goodballs I could be the most powerful wizard to exist but I spend all my time on spells to create snow and make my eyelashes longer. Location: St. Louis, Missouri · goodballs.wordpress.com. - 5,427 tweets. 1,418 following. 17,676 followers.

your whole timline are tribute subtweets to your fragile ego. good luck.

18 June 2012 Sweet P ‏@preawsaurus [^166.119] https://twitter.com/preawsaurus/status/214928305349066753 Her bio and stats on 8 November 2012: i am nice. at least that's the way i perceive myself. i could be wrong. Location: Tellus · http://favstar.fm/users/preawsaurus/most_retweeted - 12,197 tweets. 910 following. 8,090 followers.

Does your Twitter crush follow you ?

7 May 2013 Bear Jr. ‏@aaditee [^166.120] https://twitter.com/aaditee/status/331829679872946178 Her bio and stats on 8 May 2013: Ever since I started tweeting, my self-control has been non-existent. Location: Pune, India. 27,346 tweets. 312 following. 2,264 followers.

i don't read your tweets, therefore you are not.

24 June 2012 Sweet P ‏@preawsaurus [^166.121] https://twitter.com/preawsaurus/status/216873501997539328

Her bio and stats on 8 November 2012: i am nice. at least that's the way i perceive myself. i could be wrong. Location: Tellus · http://favstar.fm/users/preawsaurus/most_retweeted - 12,197 tweets. 910 following. 8,090 followers.

DO YOU THINK IM FUNNY I REQUIRE VALIDATION

20 February 2012 foxy j ‏@idreamofmayo [^166.122] https://twitter.com/#!/idreamofmayo/status/171805764208443392 Her bio and stats on 18 November 2012: kid at heart but not liver http://favstar.fm/users/idreamofmayo Location: (Hou/Bo) ston. 3,402 tweets. 231 following. 329 followers. No account with this ID found on 7 April 2013.

No number of trophies or retweets in the world will give you the validation you are seeking.

RT and Trophy this if you agree.

27 March 2012 kaonashi ‏@Bottle_of_Death [^166.123] https://twitter.com/Bottle_of_Death/status/184855510984556544 Bio and stats on 18 October 2012: I'm that #Nihilist guy who says what you won't; Follow at your own risk. #Revolution. Location: Your house. 92,374 tweets. 1,754 following. 2,744 followers.

Seems like the only thing more powerful than validation is the lack of it.

29 March 2012 Shane ‏@shanethevein [^166.124] https://twitter.com/shanethevein/status/185424769460617216 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: Twitter should be an escape, not a destination. http://favstar.fm/users/shanethevein Location: America's Finest City! · http://shanethevein.tumblr.com/ - 21,001 tweets. 5,385 following. 16,054 followers.

I don't have a twitter crush.

2 November 2012 Micayla ‏@LayDbibo [^166.125] https://twitter.com/LayDbibo/status/264539413919449088 Her bio: Maybe you need to be offended. I can help. Antihero, atheist, feminist, DID. I say fuck and re-tweet a lot. Rabid and vulgar, at times, calm and silky at others. Location: Somewhere down the crazy river · http://laydbibo.com - 32,482 tweets. 307 following. 1,381 followers.

Twitter crushes, cliques, elite, subtweets.

Everybody else is having all the fun.

I want Twitter crushes. I want SUBTWEETS.

10 October 2012 Viva La Moi ‏@bobbiejo448 [^166.126] https://twitter.com/bobbiejo448/status/256180733381574656 Her bio and stats the next day: Give me your witty, your weird, Your geeky masses yearning to breathe free; @brentb31 is my hubs. I see a Superhero themed tweet, I'm gonna star it. FACT! http://favstar.fm/users/bobbiejo448 - 13,887 tweets. 2,718 following. 5,418 followers.

I need a twitter crush so bad I've been subtweeting myself.

Unless you thought it was about you then Heeeyy!

12 October 2012 Rebecca In Charge ‏@BigBec43 [^166.127] https://twitter.com/BigBec43/status/256728762610225152

Her bio: Never do for yourself what someone else can do for you...like taking the panties off your head. http://favstar.fm/users/BigBec43 - 11,183 tweets. 2,333 following. 2,532 followers. Her screen name, bio and stats on 10 April 2013: Miss Stranger Danger @BigBec43 - Never do for yourself what someone else can do for you...like taking the panties off your head #hugglesfamily - http://favstar.fm/users/BigBec43/recent - 31,874 tweets. 4,385 following. 8,404 followers.

You know your life is empty when you don't have anyone to subtweet.

7 November 2012 Miss Fuckalicious ‏@PyrBliss [^166.128] https://twitter.com/PyrBliss/status/266424336506818561 Her bio: Swearing on Twitter is my anti-drug. Come for the cuteness, stay for the rage. I say FUCK! a lot. Location: In your pocket · http://favstar.fm/users/PyrBliss - 2,921 tweets. 843 following. 26,810 followers.

If you feel lonely and desperate, just check your interactions tab to feel more lonely and desperate.

1 June 2012 Ahmed ‏@BrainSeducer [^166.129] https://twitter.com/BrainSeducer/status/208646276735180800 His Twitter bio and stats on 6 December 2013: Egypt · favstar.fm/users/BrainSeducer - 17,001 tweets. 397 following. 4,765 followers. The interactions tab became the "Notifications" tab in early 2014.

Now accepting compliments.

13 July 2012 Jeni Scagnetti ‏@JeniScagnetti [^166.130] https://twitter.com/JeniScagnetti/status/223869739322191872 Bio: In the history of language the first obscenity was silence. Location: Batongaville. 14,250 tweets. 589 following. 6,453 followers.

I make myself laugh and that's all that matters.

And other people too.

And they should buy me things for making them laugh.

9 April 2012 Alene Parr ‏@aleneparr [^166.131] https://twitter.com/#!/aleneparr/status/189539982107623424 Her bio and stats on 27 November 2012: Psychology Student. Sweatervest Enthusiast. Professional Cynic. Cheese Connoisseur. This is stuff I think about. http://favstar.fm/users/aleneparr - Location: Ontario · http://alenetalks.blogspot.ca/ - 6,830 tweets. 4,513 following. 7,090 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 12 August 2013: I couldn't quit Twitter. Location: Ontario · alenetalks.blogspot.ca. 8,957 tweets. 2,338 following. 6,744 followers.

Come on Twitter, play with me, I'm bored, and bad things happen when I'm bored

#handwritingdare

26 May 2012 Laurie Penny ‏@PennyRed [^166.132] https://twitter.com/PennyRed/status/206469897641934848 Her bio and stats on 11 January 2013: Author, journalist, feminist, reprobate, gentlewoman of fortune. Contributing Editor, @Newstatesman. Writer - @newinquiry, @guardian, @ViceUK. Tea and sedition. Location: London · http://www.penny-red.com/ - 13,650 tweets. 1,655 following. 55,929 followers. She was using the hashtag #handwritingdare to ask famous writers to post photos of their handwriting on a Saturday evening in NYC.

I'm bored, but I'm not "ruin my life" bored.

It's ok, I'm sure I'll get there in an hour or two.

9 October 2012 Galia Mango ‏@galiamango [^166.133] https://twitter.com/galiamango/status/255595023993802752 Her bio and stats on 8 November 2012: I make clothes and stuff. Location: Amman, Jordan · http://www.galiamango.com - 5,001 tweets. 990 following. 11,533 followers.

I'm bored. Send.

16 October 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^166.134] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/258371582404222976 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 14,015 tweets. 3,128 following. 9,547 followers.

For some people, attention from others is just as addictive as cocaine.

21 July 2010 Tim Haines @timhaines [^166.135] https://twitter.com/#!/timhaines/status/19227330925 On 22 November 2012 this account from Favstar's founder was found to have been inactivated and set to private. On 17 March 2013 the account was active and no longer set to private. It had no bio, just these statistics: 36,284 tweets. 198 following. 4,650 followers.

My toddler niece has now learned to fake laugh at my jokes so I don't feel bad. It's like goddamn Twitter all over again.

21 July 2012 Naghmeh ‏@dgphotos [^166.136] https://twitter.com/dgphotos/status/226685586864472064 Her bio and stats on 9 January 2013: Will work for poutine http://favstar.fm/users/dgphotos/recent - Location: Ontari-ari-ari-o · http://favstar.fm/users/dgphotos - 10,022 tweets. 5,706 following. 6,172 followers.

For some Twitter is a chance to finally be popular . . . at any cost!

13 March 2012 Jenipher ‏@jehujeni [^166.137] https://twitter.com/jehujeni/status/179653776590901248 Her bio and stats on 20 December 2012: ✧Staring out the window ~ Daydreaming✧⋆ My tweets, like a bunch of Bouncy Balls All Over the Place. http://favstar.fm/users/jehujeni - 38,093 tweets. 1,601 following. 2,736 followers.

Tit pics to the next celebrity follower!

4 June 2012 Ænima ‏@MrsMikePatton [^166.138] https://twitter.com/mrsmikepatton/status/209809251198189571 She was in Philadelphia with 1,118 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 10 August 2013: Mike Patton's sex slave. Location: Philadelphia · http://favstar.fm/users/MrsMikePatton/recent - 18,203 tweets. 1,594 following. 3,813 followers.

I haven't gotten a new follower in over 2 weeks.

Which means "I gave you all I had and you tossed it in the grass, yes you did"

*** crying

9 June 2011 Hoodrat ‏@DJhouseNigga [^166.139] https://twitter.com/DJhouseNigga/status/78848020589977600 He had 980 followers that day. No Twitter account found with this ID on 6 December 2013.

When someone doesn't follow me back, I think...

1. They haven't noticed me.

2. THEY HATE ME!

3. THEY HATE ME!

4. WHY DO THEY HATE ME?!

30 September 2012 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^166.140] https://twitter.com/Schmoodles/status/252466426256973824

Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

I usually log off around 10PM Sao Paulo time because that's when Twitter begins to sound like collective loneliness.

28 April 2013 Laet Oliveira ‏@LaetPO [^166.141] https://twitter.com/LaetPO/status/328551402362269696 His bio and stats on 30 April 2013: Mercenary philologist. Location: Sao Paulo, Brazil. 41,364 tweets. 326 following. 1,789 followers.

Twitter Tip: having lots of followers doesn't make the loneliness go away

16 August 2012 Mary Charlene ‏@IamEnidColeslaw [^166.142] https://twitter.com/IamEnidColeslaw/status/236151093585932288 Bio and stats on 4 October 2012: the Garbage Pail Kids version of Zooey Deschanel. Location: Chicago. 12,636 tweets. 4,000 following. 73,248 followers.

"Yes, in fact she retweeted me a few times the other day," I whisper to my stuffed animals.

"We will celebrate tonight! Cookies for all!"

27 August 2012 ConfusedDick ‏@SeagullCharlie [^166.143] https://twitter.com/SeagullCharlie/status/240173161541423104 Bio and stats on 6 December 2013: Holland, 1945. 11,480 tweets. 3,350 following. 7,967 followers.

"I got so many retweets today!" she said aloud.

The room started to empty out around her.

Her face flushed.

She wept.

5 July 2011 ERRKUH. @hairicaaa [^166.144] https://twitter.com/#!/hairicaaa/status/88396621569720321 Her bio and stats on 9 May 2013: aaaand judging you. Location: chicago. 2,258 tweets. 733 following. 7,179 followers.

So what are we?

Some star and RT thing only?

My wants and needs have wants and needs too.

I'm outta here!

Ok, see you in an few hours.

9:11 a.m. on a Friday morning, 7 December 2012 Lisabug BBQJones ‏@Lisabug74 [^166.145] https://twitter.com/Lisabug74/status/277098084335497216 Her bio and stats on 9 May 2013: Welcome to Lisa World. I tweet sexy time while eating and snorting inspiration covered in delicous gravy. 7.20.13 Tweet Up http://tweetvite.com/event/SanFran . Location: San Francisco · http://favstar.fm/users/Lisabug74/recent - 30,733 tweets. 4,951 following. 8,828 followers.

@Lisabug74 followed and unfollowed @aem76us numerous times without a followback, "for the game," as she explained it.

That's it run away. Leave me here tweet all by myself. Ya, go out. Have fun. Meet people. I bet I'll have to manually retweet this shit too.

Just after midnight on a Saturday night, 15 September 2012 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^166.146] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/246866370967519232 His bio and stats on 13 November 2012: i was born 'n stuff. Location: Hanging out in my garage. http://favstar.fm/users/RobotThomas - 33,147 tweets. 6,053 following. 5,597 followers.

You guys know I'm #1 in the streets, right?

10 July 2012 donni ‏@donni [^166.147] https://twitter.com/donni/status/222599229963644928 [^] His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Comedy sand wedge. Writer, performer, fledgling opener, packet submitter. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Sea cows probably never see cows. Location: Chicago City Of Wind · http://qr.net/donni - 9,640 tweets. 839 following. 25,773 followers.

I'm actually really popular in real life.

I don't know why I'm on here.

18 April 2012 Samantha ‏@samyspaz [^166.148] https://twitter.com/samyspaz/status/192819349470449664 Her bio and stats on 4 June 2012: I dance in my kitchen and love Jean Luc Picard. I am the nicest person you've never met. Oh and I'm an ass. Location: Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. 1,911 followers. No account with this ID found on 13 April 2013.

I just realized that I'm much more desperate online than I am in real life.

7 June 2012 Sophia rossi ‏@sofifii [^166.149] https://twitter.com/sofifii/status/210838731320598528 Her bio and stats on 25 February 2013: bossy tween & http://bffproductions.tumblr.com/ - http://hellogiggles.com/ - 8,926 tweets. 1,294 following. 114,480 followers.

I tweeted and minutes passed without a star. It was horrible. Hold me

23 November 2012 The Smoking Stripper ‏@In_Brook_Vegas [^166.150] https://twitter.com/In_Brook_Vegas/status/272142313541738496 Her bio and stats on 25 April 2013: Glitter, tattoos, and llamas. Here for a good time not a long time. If you judge me...fuck you! I dont know you anyway. Location: Brookvegas..it stays here · favstar.fm/users/In_Brook_Vegas/recent - 7,364 tweets. 3,583 following. 4,296 followers.

Wish I spoke another language, or had an adult consensual relationship with a loving partner.

23 December 2011 lauren caltagirone @MrsRupertPupkin [^166.151] https://twitter.com/#!/MrsRupertPupkin/status/150284088832561152 Her bio and stats on 9 May 2013: I live in a hovel! And you live in a townhouse! I can't believe this girl! Location: los angeles · http://favstar.fm/users/MrsRupertPupkin - 2,881 tweets. 518 following. 73,932 followers.

A million ways to say you're lonely

20 August 2012 Kitty Fantastic!!! ‏@scarysherry777 - https://twitter.com/scarysherry777/status/237507193920958464 Stats on 22 August 2012: 20,829 tweets. 904 following. 880 followers. Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 28 May 2013: βιυε ❦ @SerpentineFlesh [^166.152] Flesh Charmer. Location: Pale Blue Dot · favstar.fm/users/SerpentineFlesh - 29,530 tweets. 720 following. 968 followers.

The loneliness only increases with your number of tweets.

24 June 2012 Shane ‏@shanethevein [^166.153] https://twitter.com/shanethevein/status/217120194093522944 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: Twitter should be an escape, not a destination. http://favstar.fm/users/shanethevein Location: America's Finest City! · http://shanethevein.tumblr.com/ - 21,001 tweets. 5,385 following. 16,054 followers.

Loneliness is having 16 cats and all named after people on Twitter.

28 April 2014 The Robfather™ ‏@thatUPSdude [^166.154] https://twitter.com/thatUPSdude/status/460998402252099584 "Someday, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But, until that day, accept this justice as a gift" - I support #BraydenStrong · favstar.fm/users/thatupsdude - 32,426 tweets. 2,633 following. 23,005 tweets.

Tweeted during a wordgame about loneliness that was unusual at the time because it did not involve a hashtag. The next four tweets are from the same post-hashtag wordgame.

Loneliness is reading all the loneliness tweets and coming up with one yourself!!!

28 April 2014 Naughty but nice... ‏@jaslakhmna [^166.155] https://twitter.com/jaslakhmna/status/460998828376600576 Her bio: If life gave me lemons I'd sell 'em and go buy shoes! Location: Where ever my cell phone is.. 23,584 tweets. 2,466 following. 5,987 followers.

Loneliness is deleting your no star tweet about loneliness.

28 April 2014 Jimmy B F D ‏@jimandrewsmusic [^166.156] https://twitter.com/jimandrewsmusic/status/460992939003760640 His bio and stats on 11 May 2014: I had something to do until I found this fucking place! YouTube http://bit.ly/ZshGFo - http://favstar.fm/users/jimandrewsmusic/recent - 27,597 tweets. 3,586 following. 4,519 followers.

Loneliness is a poem no one ever reads.

28 April 2014 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^166.157] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/461005956701499392 Bio; i was born 'n stuff. Hanging out in my garage. · favstar.fm/users/RobotThomas - 62,626 tweets. 8,694 following. 8,489 followers.

Well, I suppose no one is more qualified to talk about loneliness than someone with a huge twitter account.

28 April 2014 Just Lee ‏@Just_Lee_ [^166.158] https://twitter.com/Just_Lee_/status/461008977938366464 Her bio: Lets not make this personal. 902 tweets. 503 following. 2,491 followers.

Are you seriously trying to tell me that none of you are my soul mate?

13 November 2012 Tricia ‏@Im_Tricia [^166.159] https://twitter.com/Im_Tricia/status/268434280655515648 Her bio and stats on 22 December 2012: Jazz hands for life while still keeping it gangsta./Instagram: Im_Tricia/ https://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/[-withheld – Tricia's wish list]. Location: Los Angeles · http://favstar.fm/users/Im_Tricia - 3,164 tweets. 636 following. 24,182 followers.

I want to meet a really nice boyfriend am I ever gonna find him?

5 November 2012 Tara Reid ‏@TaraReid [^166.160] https://twitter.com/TaraReid/status/265633609472417795 Her bio and stats on 8 November 2012: The Official Twitter page of Tara Reid. Location: Los Angeles, CA. 1,407 tweets. 138 following. 137,913 followers. Tara Reid played the role of Bunny Lebowski in the 1998 film The Big Lebowski. She also starred in Sharknado, a made-for-TV disaster movie about live sharks being picked up out of the ocean by a waterspout and deposited in Los Angeles. Its airing on the Syfy channel on 11 July 2013 caused a sensation on Twitter.

I have been looking for an intelligent man.

16 August 2012 taslima nasreen ‏@taslimanasreen [^166.161] https://twitter.com/taslimanasreen/status/236026278816382976 - Her stats that day: 19,225 tweets. 340 following. 41,571 followers. Her bio and stats on 26 November 2012: Writer, Secular Humanist, Feminist, Physician. Location: Everywhere · http://freethoughtblogs.com/taslima/ - 21,418 tweets. 363 following. 49,055 followers.

You came on twitter to get laid?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha me too.

26 June 2012 Niki ‏@NikiWithIssues [^166.162] https://twitter.com/nikiwithissues/status/217849935528341505 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: I'm super lazy. Which is like normal lazy but I'm also wearing a cape. Location: The Shire · http://favstar.fm/users/NikiWithIssues - 6,027 tweets. 811 following. 35,838 followers.

@DiscordianKitty **of course, the only reason I joined Twitter was to find a husband**

25 April 2013 Rose Kotze ‏@rosekotze [^166.163] https://twitter.com/rosekotze/status/327504043201146881 Her bio and stats on 26 April 2013: Wearing leggings as pants since 2005. Location: Johannesburg. 1,519 tweets. 344 following. 591 followers.

The only reason I'm on twitter is to have babies.

21 November 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^166.164] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/271178425027416064 Her bio: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,413 tweets. 1,661 following. 1,766 followers.

**Of all the** _wrong_ **places to look for love, twitter is the most promising.**

15 January 2012 Christine @thesupergrobi [^166.165] https://twitter.com/#!/thesupergrobi/status/158525390799904768 She had 1,613 followers that day. Her bio and stats on 28 November 2012: Ich bin eine Lady. Location: all those old fashioned places · http://favstar.fm/users/thesupergrobi - 7,445 tweets. 644 following. 5,067 followers. Italics added.

All we really want is for someone to love us as much as we love twitter.

15 February 2013 Smokin_Nympho ‏@Soo_Scandalouss [^166.166] https://twitter.com/Soo_Scandalouss/status/302352201383297024 Her bio: I skip Confession with @Imajika25, b/c I'm not Catholic. @JoblessSamurai is my partner in crime. @GreenSmoke_ would go to jail with me. @TheSchazZ has whiskey. Location: Looking for a lighter · http://favstar.fm/users/Soo_Scandalouss/recent - 17,231 tweets. 2,148 following. 5,611 followers.

My sex life is sort of like my banking nowadays. I can do most of it online.

22 September 2012 Togna Bologna ‏@Tonejonzz [^166.167] https://twitter.com/Tonejonzz/status/249662464122298368 His bio and stats on 11 October 2012: I am never going to DM you or send you a dick pic, so star and RT without fear // Most of this is jokes so don't get it fucked up. Location: California. 5,080 tweets. 768 following. 639 followers.

Me: I'm falling in love with you

Him: *stars but doesn't reply*

28 March 2014 moody monday ‏@mdob11 [^166.168] https://twitter.com/mdob11/status/449530523291877376 Her bio and stats on 15 April 2014: Dentist. I like teeth. Location: Australia · favstar.fm/users/mdob11 – 18,789 tweets. 5,373 following. 21,665 followers.

My boyfriend doesn't even know we're in a fight.

He probably doesn't know we're dating either.

Asshole.

31 July 2012 It's Jazmine Bitch! ‏@Jazzzzzmina [^166.169] https://twitter.com/jazzzzzmina/status/230291120280719362 Bio: LA face with an Oakland booty. Location: Albuhrjhdjshsgshque, NM. 1,439 tweets. 1,459 following. 8,724 followers.

Don't fall in love with me.

I won't notice.

And then you'll hate me.

21 March 2012 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^166.170] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/182597700951351296 Twitter bio and stats on 25 January 2014: i was born 'n stuff. Location: Hanging out in my garage. · favstar.fm/users/RobotThomas - 59,457 tweets. 8,691 following. 8,308 followers.

My twitter boyfriend is such a damaged mess he doesn't even know he's alive.

7 December 2012 Kim ‏@Kimpulses [^166.171] https://twitter.com/Kimpulses/status/277150593930375168 Her bio and stats on 10 December 2012: I'm not a doctor, but I think there's something wrong with you. Location: Ontario, Canada · http://favstar.fm/users/Kimpulses - 7,027 tweets. 409 following. 5,670 followers.

You just don't DM me like you used to.

25 August 2012 Doctor's Pleasure ‏@Nurse_McDrinky - https://twitter.com/Nurse_McDrinky/status/239604852718702593 Her screen name, ID, bio and stats on 12 April 2013: Tyceratops @TylerComeOn [^166.172] If you read this, we're dating now. No exceptions. World's Okayest Mom. Location: New Yohk · favstar.fm/users/TylerComeOn - 34,515 tweets. 1,526 following. 7,134 followers.

When you ignore my @ it only makes me want you more.

28 August 2012 Psycholyst ‏@Psycholyst [^166.173] https://twitter.com/Psycholyst/status/240363012064686080 His bio and stats the next day: I ride a bike & spend too much time in the gym. At the intersection of politics, sex, absurdity and irreverence. @flsteelersbabe completes me. Location: Shitsplat, Georgia. 12,705 tweets. 1,028 following. 1,633 followers.

I've been ignored by better.

14 September 2012 SunnyGirl ‏@SGadea [^166.174] https://twitter.com/SGadea/status/246636270082732033 Her bio and stats on 28 October 2012: Give but don't let yourself be used. Love but don't allow your heart to be abused. Trust but don't be Naive. Listen to others but don't lose your own voice. Location: somewhere on a beach · http://favstar.fm/users/SGadea - 1,444 tweets. 5,114 following. 6,792 followers.

My sweetheart, why have you unfollowed me? They will never get this message if you don't rt it into their timeline.

11 June 2012 Wistful Blue ‏@WistfulBlue [^166.175] https://twitter.com/WistfulBlue/status/212284003473039360 Her bio and stats on 12 March 2013: I'm the girl with the Happy Meal tattoo, you've probably never heard of me. Married @frankcurtisB in a $7 wedding dress. Location: @TongueTwysta's pocket. 18,733 tweets. 1,633 following. 7,497 followers. The third-person-plural pronoun above is used as a substitute for a gender-specific third-person-singular one.

I'm pregnant. Please RT this because the father blocked me and I need to make sure he sees this.

7 August 2012 SEAN ‏@SRbeta [^166.176] https://twitter.com/srbeta/status/233086204252393472 Bio and stats on 3 November 2012: Clams were not a delicacy at the time, but of a poor mans diet. http://mrbagel.tumblr.com - 28,884 tweets. 439 following. 2,274 followers.

He's just not that into retweeting you.

14 September 2012 Mrs.Throbinson ‏@mellimelle [^166.177] https://twitter.com/mellimelle/status/246638700111486976 Her bio and stats on 12 May 2013: I wanna tweet right now. I'm Mellimelle and I came to get down. I'm not internationally known but I'm known to rock the twitterphone. Because I get stupid. http://favstar.fm/users/mellimelle - 44,803 tweets. 1,608 following. 15,166 followers. Plays on "He's just not that into you."

Fuckable, but not retweetable.

3 July 2012 Heather ‏@evilmensuck [^166.178] https://twitter.com/evilmensuck/status/220359756471222272 Her Twitter bio and stats on 11 June 2012: These things make you sound stupid. 9,581 tweets. 2,220 following. 2,292 followers. No account with this ID found on 12 May 2013.

"She's too hot to unfollow but too stupid to star"

26 July 2012 Señor Winces ‏@senorwinces [^166.179] https://twitter.com/senorwinces/status/228666448992665600 Twitter bio and stats on 8 June 2013: My life coach advised me to run out the clock. Location: Brooklyn, NY · tinyurl.com/kuhuut4 - 4,240 tweets. 2,077 following. 13,513 followers.

I'm actually funny you just don't get it.

27 October 2012 Lisa ‏@Schroofles [^166.180] https://twitter.com/Schroofles/status/262409551314317312 Bio: Please stop being nice to me because I will have to be nice back to you and that's fucking exhausting. http://favstar.fm/users/Schroofles - 4,273 tweets. 4,746 following. 5,403 followers.

Please don't star my tweets just because I star yours.

Do it for a good reason.

Such as you like the tweet.

Or because you want to nail me.

19 November 2012 NoLuckWanted ‏@NoLuckWanted [^166.181] https://twitter.com/NoLuckWanted/status/270572196500480002 Twitter bio and stats on 28 February 2013 for NoLuckWanted @NoLuckWanted - You say immoral; I say make it a double. Uncensored account for @NoLuckNeeded ♣ http://favstar.fm/users/NoLuckWanted - Location: Waterfront Bar · http://favstar.fm/users/NoLuckWanted/recent - 18,932 tweets. 7,508 following. 19,057 followers.

i'll star your every tweet. i don't give a fuck.

26 July 2012 Sweet P ‏@preawsaurus [^166.182] https://twitter.com/preawsaurus/status/228717761726132224

Her bio and stats on 8 November 2012: i am nice. at least that's the way i perceive myself. i could be wrong. Location: Tellus · http://favstar.fm/users/preawsaurus/most_retweeted - 12,197 tweets. 910 following. 8,090 followers.

oh my god. i think i am a twitter whore. in a cute way.

1 June 2012 Heather ‏@evilmensuck [^166.183] https://twitter.com/evilmensuck/status/208794284139360256 Her Twitter bio and stats on 11 June 2012: These things make you sound stupid. 9,581 tweets. 2,220 following. 2,292 followers. No account with this ID found on 12 May 2013.

LOVE ME

24 July 2012 Mae ‏@mzeld [^166.184] https://twitter.com/mzeld/status/227950459724390400 Her bio and stats on 12 November 2012: LET'S DO TWEETS OFF EACH OTHER'S BUTTS http://www.internet.com - 16,846 tweets. 698 following. 21,805 followers.

I WILL ANNOY YOU INTO LOVING ME!

31 July 2012 Puddin Warhole ‏@PuddingBoobs [^166.185] https://twitter.com/puddingboobs/status/230296956184981504

Her bio and stats on 2 November 2012: passive-aggressive, stage 7 clinger, all around terrible person. I'm the reason we can't have nice things. Location: Minneapolis, MN. 6,835 tweets. 794 following. 16,690 followers.

I have 90 notifications? Is there something you want to tell me?

5 May 2014 50% More Slime ‏@navanax [^166.186] https://twitter.com/navanax/status/463437192170598400 Bio: Humor is not just my defence; it is also my primary mode of attack. Location: The Big Smoke. 4,148 tweets. 1,708 following. 5,980 followers.

It's really really mean that you can't Please Call Me yourself.

12 March 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^166.187] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/311413407683325952 Her bio: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 13,645 tweets. 2,034 following. 2,056 followers.

Sometimes you just gotta subtweet a mothafucka til he calls.

19 November 2012 PUNTED CUNT FACE ‏@SaraESpivey [^166.188] https://twitter.com/SaraESpivey/status/270729606649221120 Her bio and stats on 30 January 2013: When it all comes down to it....Im funnier than you. If u dont like me, feel free to kick rocks. @shellyspivey completes me. @PoliticallyILL1 likes my bhole @Cunticulous owns me · http://favstar.fm/users/SaraESpivey/recent - 150,583 tweets. 2,432 following. 14,657 followers.

Are you in love with me yet?

No?

How about now?

13 July 2012 christine ‏@thesupergrobi [^166.189] https://twitter.com/thesupergrobi/status/223718032093089792 Bio: Ich bin eine Lady. Location: all those old fashioned places. 6,635 tweets. 703 following. 3,953 followers.

i was reading your tweets

24 March 2013 Mr. Silence ‏@teamsilence32 [^166.190] https://twitter.com/teamsilence32/status/316057846259261440 His bio and stats on 29 March 2013: ○┼ŦEλM▽$łŁE₦₡E┼○ ║█║▌║█║▌│║▌║▌█║ :[:=:]: ⇝ ⇪ ¯`v´¯) .`·. ¸ ..·´¨ .·*¨) (¸.·´ (¸. ´ .·´ ¸ . ║█║▌║█║▌│║▌║▌█║ Location: ====Texas==== · http://favstar.fm/users/teamsilence32 - 46,325 tweets. 2,222 following. 2,032 followers.

Something strange is happening to me. I feel affection towards some of you and kind of want to interact. It's most disturbing.

20 Oct 12 Galia Mango ‏@galiamango [^166.191] https://twitter.com/galiamango/status/259761326161817602 Her bio and stats the next day: I make clothes and stuff. Location: Amman, Jordan http://www.galiamango.com 4,731 tweets. 990 following. 11,084 followers.

If you've never gotten a little crush here on someone because of the words they've written...you're not normal.

2 October 2012 Chopper ‏@chopper4jk [^166.192] https://twitter.com/chopper4jk/status/253084046790377472 His bio and stats on 17 February 2013: Yeah, I really just said that...Get over it - IG chopper4jk http://favstar.fm/users/chopper4jk \- Location: Hood River OR, 19,667 tweets. 24,310 following, 25,903 followers.

We've agreed to stalk each other, so it's getting pretty serious.

4 November 2012 No idea ‏@Whateverfitsme [^166.193] https://twitter.com/Whateverfitsme/status/265199854932860929 His bio: I give myself myself credit for being a small thinker, and I'm really just here for the followers. Also, I like to RT and put stars on stuff. Location: Winterfell · http://favstar.fm/users/Whateverfitsme - 2,900 tweets. 451 following. 1,144 followers.

If you're reading this we're now in a relationship

love you babe xx

Monday 26 November 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^166.194] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/273008871981854720 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,223 tweets. 1,918 following. 1,773 followers.

Twitter: Love in the Time of Followers

15 January 2012 Don't Tell Daddy @Hormonella [^166.195] https://twitter.com/#!/Hormonella/status/158511717964464128 Her bio and stats on 10 December 2012: My body is not my temple. It's more like my bar and grill. Location: Stepford · http://favstar.fm/users/Hormonella/recent - 33,857 tweets. 17,421 following. 20,118 followers.

Plays on the title of a novel by Gabriel García Márquez, Love in the Time of Cholera. It was first published in 1985 in Spanish as El amor en los tiempos del cólera. Gabriel García Márquez wrote works of magic realism that boosted academic and popular interest in Latin American literature around the globe.

Related tweet:

Love In The Time of Cholera is probably a very smelly affair

22 April 2014 The Bad Doctor ‏@doctoratlarge [^166.196] https://twitter.com/doctoratlarge/status/458559529538428928 Bio: When you're good, people love you. When you're bad, you love yourself. doctoratlarge.wordpress.com - 55,046 tweets. 353 following. 39,107 followers. Italics added.

I'm at that age where I'm ready to settle down with strangers from the Internet.

3 September 2012 Tommy Karate ‏@TommyKarate [^166.197] https://twitter.com/TommyKarate/status/242654710316802049 His bio and stats on 8 October 2012: My wife and I have a deal. She can't see my tweets and I can't see her facebook. I'm not really married. http://favstar.fm/users/TommyKarate/recent Location: Brooklyn, NY · http://favstar.fm/users/TommyKarate/most_retweeted - 13,462 tweets. 782 following. 3,465 followers. On 8 April 2013 this account was found to have been disabled.

Which one of you are going look tenderly upon me as I sleep clutching my phone?

29 October 2012 bllix, the tinier ‏@tinybllix - https://twitter.com/tinybllix/status/262916208767139841 Her bio and stats on 28 February 2013: Yes, I'm @bllix. No, I'm not a bot. Yes, I'm also @loudbllix. No, I'm not schizophrenic. Yes, I'm real. No, I'm not a dude. Yes, I'm single. No, I'm busy later. Location: Portland, OR. · http://www.twitter.com/bllix - 3,853 tweets. 199 following. 1,357 followers. The same author posts as @bllix [^166.198], @tinybllix, @loudbllix and @bllixodus.

Is this tweet taken?

30 October 2012 Jt ‏@avaricious1 [^166.199] https://twitter.com/avaricious1/status/263390151110193152 His bio: If Twitter says you're similar to me don't follow me, because you're an idiot. http://favstar.fm/users/avaricious1/recent. - http://favstar.fm/users/avaricious1 - 22,688 tweets. 2,159 following. 2,541 followers. Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 24 November 2013: who cares @avaricious1 - If Twitter says you're similar to me don't follow me, because you're an idiot. http://audioboo.fm/avaricious1 - favstar.fm/users/avaricious1 - 57,061 tweets. 2,248 following. 3,902 followers.

So. Whose surname can I have?

10 October 2012 Pelsjas @elsaPelsjas [^166.200] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/256030267465154560

Her bio: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 8,207 tweets. 1,556 following. 1,217 followers.

Put me in your bio so I know it's real.

20 October 2012 Nichole ‏@Nicholey23 [^166.201] https://twitter.com/Nicholey23/status/259872949098668032 Her bio and stats on 22 October 2012: Fuckity fuck fuck fuck. http://favstar.fm/users/Nicholey23/recent Location: Stuck in the middle http://favstar.fm/users/Nicholey23 - 9,584 tweets. 1,634 following. 2,877 followers.

Give me your twitter password so I know it's real

17 October 2012 Mudblood ‏@DiscoLemonKayy [^166.202] https://twitter.com/DiscoLemonKayy/status/258707175684308992 Her bio: I'm a shade too awkward for pretty; this muggle bullshit is for the birds. Location: into the wild :) 26,385 tweets. 906 following. 6,459 followers.

Has anyone proposed marriage on twitter yet?

It's a terrible idea.

Do it!

22 January 2012 Legs Vandercuss @brainydame \- https://twitter.com/#!/brainydame/status/161195498013863936 Her screen name, ID, bio and stats on 22 March 2013: Anna @smartypeach [^166.203] Why can I not be drinking a margarita on the beach right now? Instagram: brainypeach – Location: Chicago · http://favstar.fm/users/smartypeach/recent - 4,792 tweets. 52 following. 3,470 followers.

Snowden, will you marry me?!

3 July 2013 Anna ‏@ChapmanAnna [^166.204] https://twitter.com/ChapmanAnna/status/352480982101798913 Her bio and stats on 6 July 2013: Moscow · annachapman.ru - 27 tweets. 13 following. 14,500 followers. By 1:12 a.m. 6 July 2013, this tweet had received. 2,354 retweets and 930 favorites.

Response:

@ChapmanAnna we can be the witnesses!

3 July 2013 NSA ‏@nsa [^166.205] https://twitter.com/nsa/status/352539090601787392 Twitter bio and stats for this parody account on 6 July 2013: The not actually a massive data collection facility in Utah. Location: .gov land · nsa.gov.uk.ru.ro.cn - 1,306 tweets. 45 following. 2,709 followers.

Reply:

@nsa will you look after our children?

3 July 2013 Anna ‏@ChapmanAnna [^166.206 and ^166.207 for her quote below] https://twitter.com/ChapmanAnna/status/352540966533607424 Her bio and stats on 6 July 2013: Moscow · annachapman.ru - 27 tweets. 13 following. 14,500 followers.

The Russian spy Anna Chapman was arrested with nine others on 27 June 2010 and deported from the United States on 8 July 2010 as part of a prisoner swap. She was born in Volgograd (Stalingrad) as Anna Vasil'yevna Kushchyenko. She had her own television show in Russia at the time of this tweet, called "Secrets of the World."

Fugitive NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden was staying in the transit area of the Moscow airport at the time, seeking asylum in multiple countries. Anna Chapman was asked by the Wall Street Journal if her offer to Snowden was serious.

"You are welcome to use your imagination," Chapman replied.

Source of Chapman quote: "Anna Chapman asks Edward Snowden for his hand, via Twitter," by Daniel DeFraia, Alaska Dispatch, 5 July 2013. http://www.alaskadispatch.com/article/20130705/anna-chapman-asks-edward-snowden-his-hand-twitter

Twitter bio and stats on 9 July 2013 for Daniel DeFraia @ddefraia [^166.208] Daniel DeFraia is a freelance journalist and photographer. He writes for GlobalPost. Location: Boston, MA. 106 tweets. 147 following. 98 followers.

Twitter bio and stats on 9 July 2013 for Alaska Dispatch @alaskadispatch [^166.209] Alaska's online magazine. Location: Anchorage, Alaska · alaskadispatch.com - 9,883 tweets. 1,085 following. 8,326 followers.

Twitter 31337 were transfixed by Snowden's predicament and the ambiguity of Chapman's offer. Kevin Mitnick, who had been incarcerated for almost five years for computer-related crimes in the United States, tweeted this while Snowden was still living in the transit area of the Moscow airport:

I think marrying Anna Chapman and staying in Russia is the better way to go for Snowden. LOL.

8 July 2013 Kevin Mitnick ‏@kevinmitnick [^166.210] https://twitter.com/kevinmitnick/status/354424588580564993 Bio: Security Consultant, Public Speaker, & Author Whistling ICBM launch codes since 1988. Location: Las Vegas, NV · mitnicksecurity.com - 8,690 tweets. 1,678 following. 95,171 followers.

I love you.

26 February 2012 Jeni Scagnetti ‏@JeniScagnetti [^166.211] https://twitter.com/#!/JeniScagnetti/status/169480442007912448 Her bio and stats on 10 April 2013: In the history of language, the first obscenity was silence. Billionaire · http://favstar.fm/users/JeniScagnetti/recent - 19,773 tweets. 539 following. 10,422 followers.

Once someone loves you back, everything changes.

1 October 2011 Rachie @rachiecandice [^166.212] https://twitter.com/#!/rachiecandice/status/120333549026017280 Her bio and stats on 13 March 2013: I'm pretty sure I enjoy breasts much much more than you do. So much so, I carry some with me at all times. Location: Melbourne, Australia · http://favstar.fm/users/rachiecandice - 5,328 tweets. 672 following. 7,824 followers.

You are the only trophy I want.

30 October 2012 Jt ‏@avaricious1 [^166.213] https://twitter.com/avaricious1/status/263273204263559168 Bio: If Twitter says you're similar to me don't follow me, because you're an idiot. http://favstar.fm/users/avaricious1/recent. - http://favstar.fm/users/avaricious1 - 22,667 tweets. 2,159 following. 2,541 followers. Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 24 November 2013: who cares @avaricious1 - If Twitter says you're similar to me don't follow me, because you're an idiot. http://audioboo.fm/avaricious1 - favstar.fm/users/avaricious1 - 57,061 tweets. 2,248 following. 3,902 followers.

Bring me your chaos.

29 March 2013 Rough Hands ‏@BackToDust [^166.214] https://twitter.com/BackToDust/status/317582660815974401 His bio: Always here. Location: Where needed · favstar.fm/users/BackToDust - 31,521 tweets. 5,319 following. 8,233 followers.

It's not love until I write tweets for you.

3 October 2012 Rachie ‏@rachiecandice [^166.215] https://twitter.com/rachiecandice/status/253443011978084353

In Melbourne, Australia. 4,604 tweets. 679 following. 6,694 followers. Her bio and stats on 13 March 2013: I'm pretty sure I enjoy breasts much much more than you do. So much so, I carry some with me at all times. Location: Melbourne, Australia · http://favstar.fm/users/rachiecandice - 5,328 tweets. 672 following. 7,824 followers.

I wrote this for you.

22 October 2012 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^166.216] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/260579401635344385 Bio: i was born 'n stuff. Location: Hanging out in my garage. http://favstar.fm/users/RobotThomas - 31,297 tweets. 5,547 following. 5,169 followers.

Do you feel me?

9 November 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^166.217] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/266890070638870529 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,223 tweets. 1,918 following. 1,773 followers.

A colloquialism for: "Do you understand me?"

Let's get serious.

13 February 2013 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^166.218] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/301621946221740032 Bio: i was born 'n stuff. Location: Hanging out in my garage. · http://favstar.fm/users/RobotThomas - 40,434 tweets. 7,515 following. 6,879 followers.

Twitter is where you meet the love of your life and make plans together and then realize you don't know their last name.

20 January 2012 Gene Shorts @spartacuffs [^166.219] https://twitter.com/#!/spartacuffs/status/160498949118111744 No account with this ID found on 10 May 2013.

If Twitter has proved ANYTHING, it's that the love of your life is someone you've never actually met.

7 August 2012 Stephology ‏@StephStartsOver [^166.220] https://twitter.com/StephStartsOver/status/155822359763361794 Her Twitter bio and stats on 6 December 2013: Super hero-ish. Likes to vacuum. The remote control for my ceiling fan makes me feel fancy. Location: Off the Deep End. · favstar.fm/users/StephStartsOver - 18,309 tweets. 2,237 following. 3,515 followers.

I noticed when you were gone. That is probably a bigger compliment than you realize.

20 April 2014 NoLuckWanted ‏@NoLuckWanted [^166.221] https://twitter.com/NoLuckWanted/status/457965895806377984 Her bio and stats on 21 April 2014: You say immoral; I say make it a double. Location: Hack Town. 22,676 tweets. 6,079 following. 31,926 following.

What's that word to describe the aching sadness of missing someone you've never met?

Oh yeah, insanity.

11 October 2012 Rachie ‏@rachiecandice [^166.222] https://twitter.com/rachiecandice/status/256363283383193601 Her bio and stats on 13 March 2013: I'm pretty sure I enjoy breasts much much more than you do. So much so, I carry some with me at all times. Location: Melbourne, Australia · http://favstar.fm/users/rachiecandice - 5,328 tweets. 672 following. 7,824 followers.

This is all a bit like touching through prison glass, no?

3 January 2012 Goddess of Shout @GoddessofShout - https://twitter.com/#!/GoddessofShout/status/154375281992400896 Changed to ShoutingGoddess @ShoutingGoddess [^166.223]. Her bio and stats on 30 January 2013: Don't read this shit. Go read a book. 111,806 tweets. 2,569 following. 19,751 followers.

What Side Of The Glass Are You On

18 March 2013 Mr. Silence ‏@teamsilence32 [^166.224] https://twitter.com/teamsilence32/status/313671534860447747 His bio and stats on 29 March 2013: ○┼ŦEλM▽$łŁE₦₡E┼○ ║█║▌║█║▌│║▌║▌█║ :[:=:]: ⇝ ⇪ ¯`v´¯) .`·. ¸ ..·´¨ .·*¨) (¸.·´ (¸. ´ .·´ ¸ . ║█║▌║█║▌│║▌║▌█║ Location: ====Texas==== · http://favstar.fm/users/teamsilence32 - 46,325 tweets. 2,222 following. 2,032 followers.

I've had a crush on you you since the first time I saw the lower left corner of your face.

29 August 2012 Mud ‏@HerNameIsMud [^166.225] https://twitter.com/HerNameIsMud/status/241015414904217601 Stats the next day: 821 tweets. 787 following. 982 followers.

Bio: This is complete absurdity. Location: circling the drain.

I want to spend the rest of my battery life with you

22 October 2012 Hurlarious ‏@hurlarious [^166.226] https://twitter.com/hurlarious/status/260464949858557952 His bio and stats on 24 October 2012: One time I drew a smiley face with a sharpie on the wall of a Vegas hotel room, I like to leave a mark. IG: Hurlarious. Location: Nigerian Internet Cafe · http://favstar.fm/users/hurlarious/recent - 884 tweets. 3,184 following. 7,720 followers. His Twitter bio and stats on 4 August 2013: Vancouver, Canada · http://favstar.fm/users/hurlarious/recent \- 1,992 tweets. 641 following. 10,018 followers.

I crush on you, but I'm not in crush with you

19 October 2012 Token Geezer ‏@Token_Geezer [^166.227] https://twitter.com/Token_Geezer/status/259409787895300098 His bio and stats the next day: I'm just a minor threat. Location: London. 28,842 tweets. 834 following. 7,716 followers.

So, I'm thinking I should rotate the twitter crushes, to keep them fresh.

6 September 2012 McGoober ‏@LaBambaMcDoodle \- https://twitter.com/LaBambaMcDoodle/status/243949143352041472 On 2 September 2013 her account was found to have been set to private, with this new Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats: doodle @Gooberforce [^166.228] I like taking long walks on the beach and poking dead things with a stick. 4,626 tweets. 735 following. 874 followers.

What's the twitter crush limit?

6 September 2012 Shael ‏@5hael [^166.229] https://twitter.com/5hael/status/243611335299043328 His bio and stats on 15 March 2013: views are either of your employer or stolen, from inside your brain. 5th of july 2013 tweetup in brisbane http://twtvite.com/tweetvegas #tweetvegas – Location: Brisbane, Australia · http://favstar.fm/users/5hael/recent - 22,337 tweets. 1,588 following. 6,982 followers.

I hope my next twitter crush hates me

10 October 2012 Togna Bologna ‏@Tonejonzz [^166.230] https://twitter.com/Tonejonzz/status/256067887817715712 His bio and stats on 11 October 2012: I am never going to DM you or send you a dick pic, so star and RT without fear // Most of this is jokes so don't get it fucked up. Location: California. 5,080 tweets. 768 following. 639 followers.

I have a serious crush on like five different people here. This is probably not very healthy but the reality is I don't really give a shit.

21 November 2012 Bean ‏@IMBeanz [^166.231] https://twitter.com/IMBeanz/status/271290730025218048 Her bio and stats on 9 November 2012: Sitting in the corner of my mind throwing knives at an image of a clown. These are my thoughts I chose to share. Consider yourself warned. http://favstar.fm/users/IMBeanz - 14,307 tweets. 749 following. 2,841 followers.

Twitter crushes. Because reality & common sense are overrated

31 October 2013 Claudia ‏@bossy_boots99 [^166.232] https://twitter.com/bossy_boots99/status/396099437606739968 Her bio and stats on 12 January 2014: I'm too stubborn to be this indecisive. I'm also a mental health 'professional' & mother of 2. Click on link below for all my tweets. Location: Chicago · favstar.fm/users/bossy_boots99 - 15,007 tweets. 7,033 following. 11,574 followers.

Make me feel like I'm the only girl in your phone.

16 July 2012 AndreaSometimes ‏@Angrea [^166.233] https://twitter.com/angrea/status/224874269228802048 Her screen name, bio and stats on 13 April 2013: Angerson Cooper @Angrea - I accidentally said Spirk and Kock once. Okay, twice. Location: Supernova Scotia, Canada · http://favstar.fm/users/Angrea \- 6,858 tweets. 4,262 following. 8,476 followers.

I want you to sweep me off my tweet.

29 August 2012 Jo ‏@jochocoloco [^166.234] https://twitter.com/jochocoloco/status/240888768347926528 Bio and stats the next day: Don't touch me. 28,495 tweets. 1,234 following. 1,322 followers. Underlining added.

Falling in love online is one thing.

Loads of people do it.

Falling in love and never meeting?

Or even talking?

Now you're an idiot.

23 September 2012 ShoutingGoddess ‏@ShoutingGoddess [^166.235] https://twitter.com/ShoutingGoddess/status/249832083072098304 Her bio and stats on 5 November 2012: Don't read this shit. Go read a book. 101,615 tweets. 2,305 following. 16,629 followers.

Why are some so against @ing? You don't want to talk to people,,, get a freaking journal...

15 November 2013 Beth_Becomes_Her ‏@LzbethRachael [^166.236] https://twitter.com/LzbethRachael/status/401555505908178944 Her Twitter bio: somewhere in her mind it's always raining, a slow endless drizzle. Location: Texas. 19,635 tweets. 951 following. 899 followers.

Don't dm him, don't dm him, don't d... Bollocks.

13 November 2012 Miss F ‏@Miss_Firefly_ [^166.237] https://twitter.com/Miss_Firefly_/status/268329340054429697 Her Twitter bio and stats on 6 December 2013: Pogonophile. Disgust me. Location: England · http://favstar.fm/users/Miss_Firefly_/recent - 11,751 tweets. 3,725 following. 3,708 followers.

I used to think DM means Date Me.

9 November 2012 ddscrap ‏@ddscrap [^166.238] https://twitter.com/ddscrap/status/266935499145482241 Her bio and stats on 29 January 2013: Don't disturb me. I'm trying to become a better bum. Location: Searching... 1,071 tweets. 535 following. 3,035 followers.

I need some DMs asap.

2 December 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^166.239] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/275166842857848832 Bio: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,959 tweets. 1,609 following. 1,771 followers. asap = as soon as possible.

It was a secret fantasy of mine to be asked out via twitter. Now you all know.

4 February 2013 Simone van Buuren ‏@cupcakesnsimone [^166.240] https://twitter.com/cupcakesnsimone/status/298439229132910594 Her bio and stats on 8 February 2013: IT Student. Avid dress shopper. Lover of leather and all things 1940's. Ambitious and loving life. Extreme Folk+Country fanatic. I TWEET A LOT. Flow. FATM. Location: Snorcity, South Africa · http://cupcakesncherries.blogspot.com - 11,670 tweets. 333 following. 266 followers.

Can I call you?

12 September 2012 MaMaBeAr6 ‏@apuga74 [^166.241] https://twitter.com/apuga74/status/246130415209959424 Bio: mom of 5 sons 1 daughter movie lover avid reader lover of the korn. #DriveByPerving @shelovespunk Boozie & Patches 4ever. Location: East Los Angeles. 52,611 tweets. 1,185 following. 1,185 followers.

After receiving numerous unsolicited replies to the subtweet above, she tweeted:

Please shut the fuck up

12 September 2012 MaMaBeAr6 ‏@apuga74 [^166.242] https://twitter.com/apuga74/status/246133786201440256 Bio: mom of 5 sons 1 daughter movie lover avid reader lover of the korn. #DriveByPerving @shelovespunk Boozie & Patches 4ever. Location: East Los Angeles. 52,611 tweets. 1,185 following. 1,185 followers.

Yes please.

10:54 p.m. 9 November 2012 Bean ‏@IMBeanz [^166.243] https://twitter.com/IMBeanz/status/267158364587429888 Bio: Sitting in the corner of my mind throwing knives at an image of a clown. These are my thoughts I chose to share. Consider yourself warned. http://favstar.fm/users/IMBeanz - 14,307 tweets. 749 following. 2,841 followers. Subtweet directed to someone other than the preceding tweeter, but in a similar conversation.

You are fun to play with.

10:56 p.m. PT 9 November 2012 Bean ‏@IMBeanz [^166.244] https://twitter.com/IMBeanz/status/267158798634975232 Bio: Sitting in the corner of my mind throwing knives at an image of a clown. These are my thoughts I chose to share. Consider yourself warned. http://favstar.fm/users/IMBeanz - 14,308 tweets. 749 following. 2,841 followers.

What's your phone number?

24 November 2012 Pimple Eye ‏@PimpleEye - https://twitter.com/PimpleEye/status/272608267979603968 His bio and stats on 13 December 2012: I used to have a pimple, now I don't. Location: Under The Westgate. Melbourne. 29,722 tweets. 809 following. 8,432 followers. ‏Became Fuzzy Pimple @FuzzyPimple [^166.245] in early December 2012.

Reply:

@PimpleEye **867-5309**

24 November 2012 Ashe DeTartaros ‏@Faking_Art [^166.246] https://twitter.com/Faking_Art/status/272608768490106880 Bio: {Art Kills Artists} FAILED ARtisT. Location: Whereabouts Unknown. 1,581 tweets. 55 following. 23 followers.

That telephone number originates from the lyrics of a popular song "867-5309/Jenny" that hit the top of the Billboard Top Tracks chart in 1982. The song generated a flurry of calls to that telephone number by people asking for Jenny. The song was written by Alex Call and Jim Keller. Tommy Tutone recorded the song in 1981 and released it that year on the album Tommy Tutone 2, on the Columbia Records label.

I'm so bad at this.

19 March 2013 Fuzzy Pimple ‏@FuzzyPimple [^166.247] https://twitter.com/FuzzyPimple/status/313937951551799296 His bio: I used to have a pimple, now I don't. Location: Under The Westgate. Melbourne. 30,408 tweets. 760 following. 9,613 followers.

Love at first Skype.

17 May 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^166.248] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/335398919884390400 Bio: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · pelsjas.wordpress.com - 16,864 tweets. 2,301 following. 2,371 followers.

It's a nice day for a Skype wedding.

15 December 2013 Prettiest Pickle ‏@PrettiestPickle [^166.249] https://twitter.com/PrettiestPickle/status/412410524660690944 Her bio and stats on 24 December 2013: Uninspired cunt killer. NYC FYM MAFIA BITCHES (I don't actually give a fuck about pickles). Location: Da Bronx · RMA.com. 9,746 tweets. 1,645 following. 8,771 followers.

I love you so much, I don't even know if you're actually funny.

7 August 2012 christine ‏@thesupergrobi [^166.250] https://twitter.com/thesupergrobi/status/232828107554451456 Her bio and stats on 28 November 2012: Ich bin eine Lady. Location: all those old fashioned places · http://favstar.fm/users/thesupergrobi \- 7,445 tweets. 644 following. 5,067 followers.

I don't want to care so much that it fucks up my irony.

20 November 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^166.251] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/403397415895453696 Twitter bio and stats on 21 November 2013 of this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 16,371 tweets. 726 following. 27,435 followers.

I'm the caboose of your emotional train wreck

11 January 2012 *ecorno* @ecorno2 [^166.252] https://twitter.com/#!/ecorno2/status/157109984218464256

Bio and stats on 8 November 2012: Se non è vero, è ben trovato. Sogni d'oro. Godetevi lo spettacolo. 5,400 tweets. 1,049 following. 5,318 followers.

It takes a trainwreck.

13 November 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^166.253] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/400854648686268416 Twitter bio and stats on 21 November 2013 of this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 16,371 tweets. 726 following. 27,435 followers. Instead of: "It takes a village to raise a child."

# **Finding: Most marriages that begin in online virtual worlds are happier than those that begin in real life**

(Aug '13) http://harp.rs/49ueps1

18 July 2013 Harper's Magazine ‏@Harpers [^166.254] https://twitter.com/Harpers/status/357924464584966144 Twitter bio and stats on 21 July 2013: An American general-interest magazine published since 1850. Location: New York, NY · harpers.org. 8,389 tweets. 20,003 following. 76,898 followers.

Explanation of the link above:

@jeremysear @Harpers they tweet different researched ideas but the link goes to the long list of all of them for the month.

18 July 2013 Courteney Hocking ‏@courteneyh [^166.255] https://twitter.com/courteneyh/status/357970869894647809 Her Twitter bio and stats on 21 July 2013: smartarse by trade & hopeful by inclination. bespoke writer / hired to swear on abc tv's 'laid' one time / qantas spirit of young australia winner (no, really). Location: People's Republic of Batmania · limitednews.com.au - 44,527 tweets. 422 following. 2,510 followers.

Twitter should have 'I will always love you' buttons.

1 November 2012 Silver Kick ‏@SilverKick [^166.256] https://twitter.com/SilverKick/status/263911571489685504 Her bio: I'm evil. I'm a superhero. http://www.thesilverkickdiaries.com/p/about-me.html. Location: Strolling around your mind. · http://favstar.fm/users/SilverKick/recent - 25,702 tweets. 876 following. 3,890 followers. Such a button would be in addition to the star and retweet buttons.

I can't tell if you keep retweeting each other because you're in love or you just like stupid tweets.

16 August 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^166.257] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/235915782163427328 His bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,477 tweets. 3,154 following. 9,233 followers.

The only thing worse than loving someone more than they love you is losing followers.

14 February 2013 christine ‏@thesupergrobi [^166.258] https://twitter.com/thesupergrobi/status/302009952984260609 Her bio: Ich bin eine Lady. Location: all those old fashioned places · http://favstar.fm/users/thesupergrobi - 7,809 tweets. 652 following. 5,261 followers.

I wish you'd get a new twitter crush. Her tweets are boring.

11 December 2012 Lisa. It really is. ‏@LisaFarted [^166.259] https://twitter.com/LisaFarted/status/278695670624423936 Bio and stats on 12 December 2012: Smokin' in the boys room. Good at being bad. Sex, drugs & rock & roll. I don't need any characters around to give the joint atmosphere. Location: Hwy with the windows down. 22,025 tweets. 402 following. 5,850 followers.

I think my twitter crush has been tweeting around.

1 May 2012 Shael ‏@5hael [^166.260] https://twitter.com/5hael/status/197326996936728576 His bio and stats on 15 March 2013: views are either of your employer or stolen, from inside your brain. 5th of july 2013 tweetup in brisbane http://twtvite.com/tweetvegas #tweetvegas – Location: Brisbane, Australia · http://favstar.fm/users/5hael/recent - 22,337 tweets. 1,588 following. 6,982 followers.

@5hael **it's OK there are a lot more fish in the Twitter bowl.**

17 September 2012 M.Jones ‏@onijewel [^166.261] https://twitter.com/onijewel/status/247869388986925056

Bio: I like to take a moment to make a comment that might potentially make me look like a perv, a nut, an idiot, or a horn ball. Just for shits and giggles! Location: Arkansas. 910 tweets. 467 following. 203 followers.

Notice the gap of over four months from the date of the first tweet.

Reply:

@onijewel **haha there are indeed!**

17 September 2012 Shael ‏@5hael [^166.262] https://twitter.com/5hael/status/247878510570528768

His bio and stats the next day: Views are either of your employer or stolen, from inside of your brain..... Also @perfectdiamond_ Location: Brisbane, Australia. 18,989 tweets. 1,325 following. 3,907 followers.

Funny how I'm a heartthrob on here but in my daily life I'm just another dude waiting in line.

3 February 2014 Ferrari Sheppard ‏@stopbeingfamous [^166.263] https://twitter.com/stopbeingfamous/status/430385959591366657 Bio: Artist | Curator | Stop Being Famous | Tumblr http://ferrarisheppard.tumblr.com/ - Location: Chicago, New York City · stopbeingfamous.com - 65,291 tweets. 897 following. 25,702 followers. His Twitter bio and stats on 24 November 2014: Artist | Curator | Stop Being Famous | Huffington Post http://ferrarisheppard.tumblr.com/ http://instagram.com/ferrarisheppard - Location: Chicago, New York City - stopbeingfamous.com - 59,579 tweets. 925 following. 38,994 followers.

are you done with your internet boyfriend? can i have him?

1 July 2013 sweet p ‏@preawsaurus [^166.264] https://twitter.com/preawsaurus/status/351914741658173440 Her bio: no, thanks. Location: Tellus. 14,509 tweets. 811 following. 9,447 followers.

So how's your 536th twitter boyfriend? You guys getting serious?

9 December 2012 Niki ‏@NikiWithIssues [^166.265] https://twitter.com/NikiWithIssues/status/277812443093299200 Her Twitter bio and stats on 6 December 2013: I'm super lazy. Which is like normal lazy but I'm also wearing a cape. Co-founder of Jesus fuck-fingers. Location: The Shire · favstar.fm/users/NikiWithIssues \- 7,059 tweets. 853 following. 39,558 followers.

@FuzzyPimple **How to do Twitter #99**

1. Fall in love

2. Fall in love

3. Fall in love

4. Fall in love

5. Moan

12 May 2013 VunderBar ‏@BarW38 [^166.266] https://twitter.com/BarW38/status/333531351728926721 Her bio: You call me an exhibitionist, nutcase, or narcissist; I prefer the term fun. I am an artist. http://www.barwalker.com/ - Location: The mountains · favstar.fm/users/BarW38/recent - 68,523 tweets. 1,760 following. 2,754 followers.

DID YOU KNOW? Every time you RT your Twitter crush, you increase the chances of introducing them then losing them to other tweeps.

17 July 2012 Noor Shamma ‏@NoorShamma [^166.267] https://twitter.com/noorshamma/status/225129310984474624 Her bio and stats on 13 February 2013: I don't cry. No one's worth my boogers. http://noorshamma.tumblr.com [Instagram: noorshamma] Location: Not Found · favstar.fm/users/NoorShamma - 4,775 tweets. 785 following. 5,324 followers. "Not found" are her words in her profile.

When you don't RT my tweet I stop loving you for five seconds, because I have an attention span of a walnut.

17 September 2012 Chrisanna4real ‏@chrisanna4real [^166.268] https://twitter.com/chrisanna4real/status/247719428924526592 Her bio and stats on 27 October 2012: I RT A LOT. My life will make you laugh. I'm drunk a lot. Beer me. Most at home in @chopper4jk's pants and my best girl is @the_martinigirl. IG: chrisanna4real Location: So Cal, that's all you get. · http://favstar.fm/users/chrisanna4real - 31,994 tweets. 9,265 following. 17,404 followers.

I wish my Twitter crush lived closer to me so I could key her car when she doesn't star my super funny tweets

4 December 2012 Anis Chenta ♥ ‏@AnisRakter [^166.269] https://twitter.com/AnisRakter/status/276226579414257664 Her bio and stats the next day: I don't insist on being known, but I insist on being someone worth knowing. Location: damansara · http://twitter.com/AnisRakter 15,442 tweets. 313 following. 291 followers.

You don't call. You don't write. You don't retweet.

1 December 2011 Craving @calluptome [^166.270] https://twitter.com/#!/calluptome/status/142442548219228161 Her bio and stats on 19 March 2013: The brain is the sexiest organ. @galiamango is my twitter wifey...she is the goodness to my badass. Location: in yo head. · http://favstar.fm/users/calluptome - 25,902 tweets. 1,925 following. 7,233 followers.

Tell me what I need to tweet to make you miss me.

28 February 2014 Never ‏@selfieharm [^166.271] https://twitter.com/selfieharm/status/439557986777042944 Bio and stats on 5 April 2014: You are my bio. Location: New York, Ny. http://favstar.fm/users/selfieharm - 3,183 tweets. 276 following. 879 followers.

Your twitter crush is flirting with someone has prettier avi than yours.

30 November 2012 Maysoon ‏@MaysoonMM [^166.272] https://twitter.com/MaysoonMM/status/274653098830606336 Her bio and stats on 1 December 2012: A Virgo born August 25, I want to be an actress. Give respect, get respect back. Give any other shit, get the exact same back in return. http://favstar.fm/users/MaysoonMM - 24,552 tweets. 120 following. 3,401 followers. No Twitter account with this ID found on 25 September 2013.

Her crush just RT'd another girl AND gave her a S/O!

Anddddd, here come the subtweets!

Somebody pop some popcorn, this is about to get good

10 October 2012 Manda ‏@lilgapeach30 [^166.273] https://twitter.com/lilgapeach30/status/256012860738641920 Her bio: There's a certain happiness in being silly and ridiculous. If you don't get that, you won't get me! I'm occasionally funny, but I always RT greatness. http://favstar.fm/users/lilgapeach30/most_retweeted - 3,184 tweets. 1,133 following. 1,721 followers.

S/O is a shout out, a mention.

Is this your first public spurning?

18 July 2013 bllix S. Preston Esq ‏@bllixodus - https://twitter.com/bllixodus/status/357938981524082688 Her bio: twitter.com/bllix - 242 tweets. 142 following. 528 followers. The same author posts as @bllix [^166.274], @tinybllix, @loudbllix and @bllixodus.

I'm just here for the forsaking.

20 January 2012 bllix, the tinier ‏@tinybllix - https://twitter.com/#!/tinybllix/status/160490202639511552 Her bio and stats on 28 February 2013: Yes, I'm @bllix. No, I'm not a bot. Yes, I'm also @loudbllix. No, I'm not schizophrenic. Yes, I'm real. No, I'm not a dude. Yes, I'm single. No, I'm busy later. Location: Portland, OR. · http://www.twitter.com/bllix - 3,853 tweets. 199 following. 1,357 followers. The same author posts as @bllix [^166.275], @tinybllix, @loudbllix and @bllixodus.

I think it's time we retweeted other people.

9 March 2012 Red Herring Bear‏ @redherringbear [^166.276] https://twitter.com/#!/redherringbear/status/178364336060895232 His screen name, bio and stats on 14 December 2012: Andy Glib. Word salad spinner. I mangle syntax so you don't have to. 18+ please. Location: Oregon · http://favstar.fm/users/redherringbear/ - 8,747 tweets. 2,036 following. 2,383 followers.

RT if you love me.

6 August 2012 Pimple Eye ‏@PimpleEye - https://twitter.com/PimpleEye/status/232411673447763968 - 5,796 followers. Bio and stats on 6 November 2012: I used to have a pimple, now I don't. Location: Under The Westgate. Melbourne · http://favstar.fm/users/PimpleEye/recent - 28,388 tweets. 852 following. 7,763 followers. ‏Became Fuzzy Pimple @FuzzyPimple [^166.277] in early December 2012.

Reply:

@PimpleEye **asshole**

2:44 a.m. PDT, 6 August 2012 GhettoTrophy ‏@Ghetto_Trophy [^166.278] https://twitter.com/Ghetto_Trophy/status/232411890213601280 Location: San Francisco, California. 5,740 followers. Gender unknown at the time but later disclosed as female.

Response:

@Ghetto_Trophy loves me!!!!

6 August 2012 Pimple Eye ‏@PimpleEye - https://twitter.com/PimpleEye/status/232412581715910656 Bio and stats on 6 November 2012: I used to have a pimple, now I don't. Location: Under The Westgate. Melbourne · http://favstar.fm/users/PimpleEye/recent - 28,388 tweets. 852 following. 7,763 followers. ‏Became Fuzzy Pimple @FuzzyPimple [^166.279] in early December 2012.

The response demonstrates how any attention can be considered good attention. The two tweeters then continued with a friendly, non-sexual banter.

Does your wife know you're single?

28 December 2013 Heather ‏@heatherjs [^166.280] https://twitter.com/heatherjs/status/417165180779245568 Her bio and stats on 28 April 2014: Professional Word Gardener . . . http://favstar.fm/users/heatherjs - Location: New Mexico. 115,908 tweets. 5,946 following. 16,253 followers.

@FuzzyPimple clarifies:

Just for the record, I am not single, I have four twitter crushes, a facebook stalker and a wife.

1 December 2012 Pimple Eye ‏@PimpleEye - https://twitter.com/PimpleEye/status/274841837292888064 Bio: I used to have a pimple, now I don't. Location: Under The Westgate. Melbourne · http://favstar.fm/users/PimpleEye/recent - 29,161 tweets. 822 following. 8,301 followers. ‏Became Fuzzy Pimple @FuzzyPimple [^166.281] in early December 2012.

He later retweeted:

Your tweets are writing a check that your ass can't cash.

7 January 2013 Rusty ‏@PeaceInTruth1 [^166.282] https://twitter.com/PeaceInTruth1/status/288547451793715200 Bio and stats on 13 January 2013: Owned by 2 dogs, professional bullshitter, mixer of words, and tells it like it is. Location: North America · http://favstar.fm/users/peaceintruth1/recent - 18,830 tweets. 1,790 following. 6,992 followers.

You're an illegal download.

22 April 2014 Fuzzy LePimp ‏@FuzzyPimple [^166.283] https://twitter.com/FuzzyPimple/status/458581222050918400 Bio: I used to have a pimple, now I don't. Location: Under The Westgate. Melbourne. 30,209 tweets. 640 following. 10,222 followers.

snark them and leave them.

12 July 2012 snarkarella ‏@snarkarella [^166.284] https://twitter.com/snarkarella/status/223442763499323392 Her bio and stats on 17 December 2012: i like snacking on ice cubes. 3,547 tweets. 389 following. 1,594 followers.

It's all fun and games until your Twitter crush starts ignoring you.

11 October 2012 SunnyGirl ‏@SGadea [^166.285] https://twitter.com/SGadea/status/256595211927580672 Her bio and stats the next day: Give but don't let yourself be used. Love but don't allow your heart to be abused. Trust but don't be Naive. Listen to others but don't lose your own voice. Location: Florida - USA · http://favstar.fm/users/SGadea - 1,277 tweets. 4,330 following. 5,673 followers.

Having a twitter crush is a lot like having a bf in prison. All talk, no real action

16 July 2012 Squidney ‏@FatalDalliance [^166.286] https://twitter.com/FatalDalliance/status/225105173385707520 Her bio and stats on 19 March 2013: Im a bad mamma jamma. Location: Ashland OR. 1,957 tweets. 588 following. 819 followers.

bf = boyfriend.

Once upon a time, you followed me. Stars, retweets and trophies were our love story. Then you became the dick I knew you'd be. Unfollowed.

8 February 2013 Sassy McMelons ‏@SassyMcMelons [^166.287] https://twitter.com/SassyMcMelons/status/300079032786112512 Her bio and stats on 9 February 2013: Dad was a dock worker and Mom a whore that worked the port. These are the memoirs of a tarnished, Southern Belle. Location: Hotlanta · http://favstar.fm/users/SassyMcMelons - 19,019 tweets. 1,468 following. 7,261 followers.

Whenever the love of my life unfollows me, I tell everyone what an asshole he is and quickly move on to the next idiot.

13 January 2013 christine ‏@thesupergrobi [^166.288] https://twitter.com/thesupergrobi/status/290402117544452096 Her bio and stats on 14 February 2013: Ich bin eine Lady. Location: all those old fashioned places · http://favstar.fm/users/thesupergrobi \- 7,809 tweets. 652 following. 5,261 followers.

Isn't it funny that the people that don't want our attention are the ones that we really wanna give it to.

13 November 2012 Nikki Havoc ‏@nburrr [^166.289] https://twitter.com/nburrr/status/270345852915183616 Her bio and stats on 21 November 2012: I'm my own twitter clique, motherfucker. @rachaelkelly18, @RandomlyMJ & @gidget_76 are my soul sisters. Location: Australia · http://favstar.fm/users/nburrr \- 46,536 tweets. 1,341 following. 8,897 followers. No Twitter account with this ID found on 25 April 2013.

I miss the times you used to stalk me.

28 August 2012 Psycholyst ‏@Psycholyst [^166.290] https://twitter.com/Psycholyst/status/240357281043202048 His bio and stats on 4 May 2013: I always thought that same sex marriage was what straight couples suffered from. Location: Shitsplat, Georgia · http://favstar.fm/users/Psycholyst - 17,463 tweets. 605 following. 2,601 followers.

Let's never talk like we used to and clear our browser history together sometime.

6 September 2012 bllix ‏@bllix [^166.291] https://twitter.com/bllix/status/243854228643266561 Her bio and stats on 30 October 2012: Electronic music producer/knob-twiddler, MYLF, Multilingual programmer, Attorney at LOL, Thug 4 Life, Laundromancer, METAL AS FVCK. Damn, Gina. Location: Portland, OR. · http://bllix.tumblr.com - 12,746 tweets. 501 following. 4,516 followers.

Tell me they love me,

tell me I'm a bitch,

unfollow me.

The three stages of those that say I'm their Twitter crush.

Good times.

5 September 2012 Celtic Moondance ‏@CelticMoonDance [^166.292] https://twitter.com/CelticMoonDance/status/243436659746689025 Her bio and stats on 13 February 2013: Ever changing eclectic me! Empath, tree hugger, & lover of life. Kindness matters and laughter is necessary. My Avi is me. I rarely answer DM's. Be nice. Location: Dreamwalking toward my destiny · http://favstar.fm/users/CelticMoonDance - 53,826 tweets. 15,377 following. 16,315 followers.

Your crush will eventually block you.

Pass it on.

28 July 2012 Sergio ‏@SergioValenCo [^166.293] https://twitter.com/sergiovalenco/status/229440685105885186 His bio and stats on 9 January 2013: Sometimes I'm insightful and witty; then I wake up. Inspirational asshole. Location: In a Cage · http://favstar.fm/users/SergioValenCo/recent - 13,981 tweets. 6,628 following. 9,810 followers.

I want to block you like an animal.

12 April 2012 bllix, the tinier ‏@tinybllix \- https://twitter.com/tinybllix/status/190633741079683072 Her bio and stats on 28 February 2013: Yes, I'm @bllix. No, I'm not a bot. Yes, I'm also @loudbllix. No, I'm not schizophrenic. Yes, I'm real. No, I'm not a dude. Yes, I'm single. No, I'm busy later. Location: Portland, OR. · http://www.twitter.com/bllix - 3,853 tweets. 199 following. 1,357 followers. The same author posts as @bllix [^166.294], @tinybllix, @loudbllix and @bllixodus.

I think I'm in block with you.

4 November 2012 PainfullyYours ‏@MentalAbortions [^166.295] https://twitter.com/MentalAbortions/status/265268351364907008 His bio and stats on 6 November 2012: If you can't take the crazy, don't visit the asylum. Location: New Mexico · http://favstar.fm/users/MentalAbortions - 8,024 tweets. 344 following. 3,115 followers.

My crush unfollowed me and made his acct private. Hold me Twitter.

10 December 2012 Annnjeeezy ‏@two1ohhbabydoll [^166.296] https://twitter.com/two1ohhbabydoll/status/278266891460567042 Her Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 7 December 2013: Twittterpated @two1ohhbabydoll - @Bberrysurprise warms my heart. @SDHeadTrip keeps me sane. Location: Texassss · http://favstar.fm/users/two1ohhbabydoll/recent - 71,416 tweets. 6,485 following. 8,762 followers. The fourth character in @two1ohhbabydoll is the number one.

Block me, eh? That's it. I'm starfucking your boyfriend.

30 October 2012 yourJester ‏@Loli_Sug [^166.297] https://twitter.com/Loli_Sug/status/263372671566360576 Her bio: Often inappropriate & by often i mean frequently & by frequently i mean always. My favorite flavor is Vanilla. Location: so close I almost touch · http://favstar.fm/users/Loli_Sug - 51,324 tweets. 2,884 following. 8,238 followers. This means that she will star a lot of his tweets.

Printing out your retweets and burning them in a dumpster.

15 June 2012 Mae ‏@mzeld [^166.298] https://twitter.com/mzeld/status/213793233287909376 Her bio and stats on 12 November 2012: LET'S DO TWEETS OFF EACH OTHER'S BUTTS http://www.internet.com - 16,846 tweets. 698 following. 21,805 followers.

Let's pretend these tweets never happened.

13 April 2012 Miss Fuckalicious ‏@PyrBliss [^166.299] https://twitter.com/#!/PyrBliss/status/191035664341540864 Her bio and stats on 7 November 2012: Swearing on Twitter is my anti-drug. Come for the cuteness, stay for the rage. I say FUCK! a lot. Location: In your pocket · http://favstar.fm/users/PyrBliss - 2,916 tweets. 838 following. 26,747 followers.

Just so you know, I was faking it when I starred all your tweets.

24 May 2012 Jazzmatazz ‏@Jazzzzzmina [^166.300] https://twitter.com/Jazzzzzmina/status/205727145253814272 Her screen name, bio and stats on 18 March 2013: Brunette Bombshell @Jazzzzzmina - LA face with an Oakland booty... I don't make a move without my BFF @weissbrandon, cuz that's how we roll. http://Favstar.fm/users/Jazzzzzmina/recent - 4,287 tweets. 1,868 following. 16,561 followers.

i no longer subtweet you.

18 September 2012 Certifiably Sane ‏@Crazedcrazy - https://twitter.com/Crazedcrazy/status/248215170080444416 Twitter screen name, ID bio and stats on 29 August 2013: CertifiablySane @CertifiablySane [^166.301] Kindness is contagious. Location: New York City · http://favstar.fm/users/CertifiablySane - 12,672 tweets. 3,554 following. 3,881 followers.

I'm not your tweetheart.

15 September 2012 | Solitary Mob | ‏@SolitaryMob [^166.302] https://twitter.com/SolitaryMob/status/246920905895317504 Bio: ...the defective collective... Established 4:32 a.m. 10,868 tweets. 1,139 following. 1,256 followers.

I don't miss your stars.

I don't miss your RT's.

I don't even miss our DM's.

I miss us.

19 July 2012 Junkyardigan ‏@junkyardigan [^166.303] https://twitter.com/junkyardigan/status/226172133036937218 His bio and stats on 13 November 2012: I'm just a guy. Not that guy. The other guy. Over there. In the back. Hi. 3,345 tweets. 1,719 following. 2,233 followers.

Heartache follows me, it's true.

But in fairness, I follow it back.

10 August 2012 Liza Clashington ‏@ClashBang [^166.304] https://twitter.com/ClashBang/status/234151641383854080 Bio and stats the next day: When she was good she was very good, but when she was bad she was horrid. Location: Where the heart isn't. 2,888 tweets. 1,004 following. 1,440 followers.

Twitter's like most relationships. There's your best behavior stage, followed by the real you stage followed by the unfollow stage.

28 January 2013 Dan Sackheim ‏@DanSackheim [^166.305] https://twitter.com/DanSackheim/status/296122812563861504 Bio: Film & Television Director, Exec Producer, Photographer. Location: Los Angeles · http://dansackheim.500px.com/#/0 - 2,757 tweets. 538 following. 4,394 followers.

Do people have relationships offline?

Is that a real thing?

16 May 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^166.306] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/335285964626878464 Her bio and stats on 17 May 2013: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · pelsjas.wordpress.com - 16,864 tweets. 2,301 following. 2,371 followers.

Oh baby, we have such a hot thing going on here, please don't ruin it by sending me real pictures of yourself.

18 June 2010 The Bosha ‏@TheBosha [^166.307] https://twitter.com/#!/TheBosha/status/16510177312 His bio and stats on 16 November 2012: Get off my lawn. Location: Near the Tannhäuser Gate · http://www.witstream.com/#jim_bosha - 13,149 tweets. 476 following. 11,858 followers.

" **Some attractions produce the greatest reward at a distance, maintaining a tension, and are never meant to consummate into oneness**..."

16 July 2013 hiranajam ‏@hiranajam [^166.308] https://twitter.com/hiranajam/status/357057333261647872 Her bio: music/internet junkie/ Creative Editor for http://www.Carbonated.TV / part time philosopher & food blogger / I balance. Location: karachi · desigourmand.wordpress.com - 44,008 tweets. 111 following. 2,552 followers. A Google Search query that hour did not find that quote online.

It's better if I love you from a distance.

27 December 2012 Sarah Dactyl ‏@GreenEyedJedi [^166.309] https://twitter.com/GreenEyedJedi/status/284321712588345345 Her bio and stats the next day: Girl next door with a twist. Photographer, schadenfreude enthusiast, lascivious. Cheshire cat grin. Tardis hunter. instagram=gotsarah Location: North Shore, Ma · http://favstar.fm/users/GreenEyedJedi - 11,716 tweets. 2,651 following. 9,510 followers.

@GreenEyedJedi **we don't have to fix each other, come over.**

27 December 2012 Dave ‏@DaveTheAlbino [^166.310] https://twitter.com/DaveTheAlbino/status/284327727778119680 His bio and stats the next day: I like sharp crayons, shiny gadgets, your mom, bending pixels, strawberry milk, and awkward silence. Location: Tulsa, Okla · http://daveshort.tumblr.com - 6,336 tweets. 911 following. 490 followers.

Moral: when you think you've found love, it's likely just an unrealistic misunderstanding.

12 September 2012 Classy Cassy ‏@Classy_Cassy89 [^166.311] https://twitter.com/Classy_Cassy89/status/246132635359920129 Her bio and stats on 28 October 2012: Life and times of a 40 year old single woman with a cat...got a dog too. 38,329 tweets. 8,185 following. 11,620 followers.

You're not in love, you're lonely.

11 November 2012 Necessary Blackness ‏@BeRealBlack4Me [^166.312] https://twitter.com/BeRealBlack4Me/status/267833359869288448 Bio and stats on 13 November 2012: A Black man w/ a Black wife, Black children, Black ideas. My god is a Black woman. I like REAL booties, grits WITHOUT sugar & I do NOT call Black ppl, 'niggas' – Location: Tomorrow today... instagram.com/berealblackfuh... 175,345 tweets. 1,237 following. 10,836 followers.

*reports Cupid for spam*

12 February 2013 Firas Alola ‏@Firawesome [^166.313] https://twitter.com/Firawesome/status/301254255988314112 His bio: An honest liar, a decent pervert and a nice asshole. Location: My Own Head · http://favstar.fm/users/Firawesome - 12,164 tweets. 646 following. 4,889 followers.

I never promised you a prose garden.

23 October 2012 Andy Glib ‏@redherringbear [^166.314] https://twitter.com/redherringbear/status/260951372936122368 Bio: Word salad spinner. 18+ please. Location: Oregon · http://favstar.fm/users/redherringbear/ - 8,290 tweets. 1,988 following. 2,293 followers.

You're aware that Internet 'I love you' isn't the same as real life 'I love you', yes?

4 October 2012 Token Geezer ‏@Token_Geezer [^166.315] https://twitter.com/Token_Geezer/status/253903975118671872 His bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I'm just a minor threat. Location: London. 27,495 tweets. 857 following. 7,240 followers.

How could you ever love me? I don't even exist.

26 December 2011 Princess Warhole @WickedSica - https://twitter.com/#!/WickedSica/status/151347706290388992 Her screen name, ID, stats and bio on 19 December 2012: Jessica Rabbit. @WickedSica I'm like @JessicaFancy but on acid. I wrote a poem: Fuck you. Location: Candyland. · http://favstar.fm/users/wickedsica \- 3,663 tweets. 4,118 following. 4,728 followers. She is being counted under another of her Twitter IDs: @JessicaFancy [^166.316].

I'm not the pain you're looking for.

10 May 2014 Sin ‏@insinuateme [^166.317] https://twitter.com/insinuateme/status/464991446919954432 Bio: I'm a bad boy wannabe. But in reality just a boy gone bad. One-time stand up comedian. That wasn't a joke and neither is this: pussywhipped by @sinskitten IRL. favstar.fm/users/insinuateme – 13,547 tweets. 1,341 following. 2,904 followers.

With a click of my mouse, I now pronounce you dead to me.

22 March 2012 tna‏ @DeepSigh_ [^166.318] https://twitter.com/#!/DeepSigh_/status/182835179847548929 Her bio: just tweeting my random thoughts and observations. i eat the green m&m' s first. 389 followers. No account with this ID found on 10 May 2013.

I'm dead to me, too.

3 September 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^166.319] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/374968358581440512 Twitter bio and stats on 30 December 2013 for this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 17,120 tweets. 729 following. 28,655 followers.

Ladies, telling him "you're dead to me" undermines the sentiment. Ignore him.

30 March 2012 kdn ‏@kdn13 [^166.320] https://twitter.com/#!/kdn13/status/185921700045668353 She had 17,477 followers that day. Her bio and stats on 12 May 2013: I have a weakness for split infinitives. Location: Bay Area, CA · instagram.com/kdnthirteen - 5,062 tweets. 296 following. 21,306 followers.

I'm starting a new site for all jilted Twitter crushes and calling it Bitter. I suspect membership will be at over a million within a day.

22 August 2012 Abstract Asshole ‏@theabstractass [^166.321] https://twitter.com/theabstractass/status/238259915343405056 His stats: 938 tweets. 781 following. 786 followers.

I don't date, or go anywhere, but I managed to get my heart broken on Twitter. I'm so stupid I don't know how I learned to breathe.

16 August 2011 Kay Morgan @KayM77 [^166.322] https://twitter.com/#!/KayM77/status/103364570151792640 Her bio and stats on 14 March 2013: I'm on Twitter. 18,872 tweets. 248 following. 1,615 followers.

"Get over it. There's 7 billion other people in the world." -People who obviously have never been in love.

28 December 2012 Sarah Dactyl ‏@GreenEyedJedi [^166.323] https://twitter.com/GreenEyedJedi/status/284825202171445248 Bio: Girl next door with a twist. Photographer, schadenfreude enthusiast, lascivious. Cheshire cat grin. Tardis hunter. instagram=gotsarah Location: North Shore, Ma · http://favstar.fm/users/GreenEyedJedi - 11,716 tweets. 2,651 following. 9,510 followers.

twitter is not for the faint of heart

11 March 2013 GENKI SLUGGER ‏@ysengrim [^166.324] https://twitter.com/ysengrim/status/311017698035384320 Bio: 野生のおっぱいオナホール ♡ · http://steamcommunity.com/id/noeliru - 113,018 tweets. 264 following. 796 followers.

You write your own death sentence by getting attached to people here.

6 May 2013 Bear Jr. ‏@aaditee [^166.325] https://twitter.com/aaditee/status/331465693449056256 Her bio and stats on 8 May 2013: Ever since I started tweeting, my self-control has been non-existent. Location: Pune, India. 27,346 tweets. 312 following. 2,264 followers. Underlining added.

Thanks for calling the Twittercide Hotline. This is Ari speaking. Your twittername, follower count & crush's name & alleged gender, please?

9 June 2012 Aristotles ‏@AristotlesNZ [^166.326] https://twitter.com/AristotlesNZ/status/211408774051790850 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: My avi is one of 3 reasons why I live and why I drink. Father of 3 little boys. Husband of 1 Wife. Location: Under the Down Under · http://favstar.fm/users/AristotlesNZ/recent - 13,213 tweets. 2,378 following. 11,033 followers.

You guys didn't tell me that having a twitter crush could be so complicated.

8 July 2012 technopriest5 ‏@technopriest5 - https://twitter.com/technopriest5/status/221957130515791872 Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 7 December 2013: Tech Pirate @tech_pirate [^166.327] Just your basic North Carolina pirate. http://favstar.fm/users/tech_pirate - 16,965 tweets. 6,479 following. 9,775 followers.

Don't kid yourself, even I have an internet girlfriend.

3 March 2013 Galia Mango ‏@galiamango [^166.328] https://twitter.com/galiamango/status/308302131805429760 Her bio and stats on 4 March 2013: I make clothes. I draw stuff. I dislike people. Location: Amman, Jordan · http://www.galiamango.com \- 6,864 tweets. 990 following. 12,874 followers.

We should have a meeting sometime just to go over some of this stuff.

18 August 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^166.329] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/236753435783991296 His bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,477 tweets. 3,154 following. 9,233 followers.

Tell me who you've dated from twitter via DM

23 August 2012 Mae ‏@mzeld [^166.330] https://twitter.com/mzeld/status/238844787422277632 Her bio and stats on 12 November 2012: LET'S DO TWEETS OFF EACH OTHER'S BUTTS http://www.internet.com - 16,846 tweets. 698 following. 21,805 followers.

Delete our DM conversations so I know that you're married

10 December 2012 Zap My Ass BYTES ‏@SassNoFrass [^166.331] https://twitter.com/SassNoFrass/status/278151640819855362 Bio and stats on 12 December 2012: My Instagram I'll share. My kik, I'll pick. They're ninja style, just ask. http://favstar.fm/users/SassNoFrass... The send button should just be called fuck it! Location: Wherever I like · http://favstar.fm/users/SassNoFrass/recent - 13,266 tweets. 1,340 following. 3,258 followers.

Internet boyfriends are the new cats.

30 April 2013 ShoutingGoddess ‏@ShoutingGoddess [^166.332] https://twitter.com/ShoutingGoddess/status/329442341427499008 Her bio and stats on 1 May 2013: Don't read this shit. Go read a book. 122,623 tweets. 2,587 following. 22,826 followers.

All I want, for now, is to be my Twitter crush's Twitter crush.

24 February 2012 KBC ‏@k_beec [^166.333] https://twitter.com/k_beec/status/173018850848288770 Her bio and stats on 11 October 2013: I like to watch. Location: San Juan, Puerto Rico · favstar.fm/users/k_beec - 13,577 tweets. 2,532 following. 3,264 followers.

**Can't tell if Twitter crush is gay....** # **InternetProblems**

7 December 2012 Justine Joy ‏@punkystarfish [^166.334] https://twitter.com/punkystarfish/status/277092587549097984 Her bio and stats on 6 January 2013: I tweet it up like Tweety bird | Social Media Gal @Talooma | Digital Guru in Training |Zimbabwean | Taller than you | Loves Pandas | Favourite time is 12:34 Location: I swam here from Zimbabwe · http://www.justinejoyit.co.za - 13,003 tweets. 507 following. 1,125 followers.

found the new man i'm going to marry 10 minutes ago and already want to stab 5 of his female friends

21 August 2012 Sputnik Sweetheart ‏@Verlieren [^166.335] https://twitter.com/Verlieren/status/238149121393971200 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: Creator of Google, previously psychotic person. Not to make you fall in love with me but I probably don't have AIDS. http://tinyurl.com/verinstagram - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001856/ - 11,012 tweets. 548 following. 14,712 followers.

How many stars until you leave your wife?

7 October 2012 christine ‏@thesupergrobi [^166.336] https://twitter.com/thesupergrobi/status/254925262939111425 Bio: Ich bin eine Lady. Location: all those old fashioned places · http://favstar.fm/users/thesupergrobi - 7,181 tweets. 685 following. 4,681 followers.

Make me the primary beneficiary on your insurance policy so I know it's real.

10 October 2012 Danny Lover ‏@10InchesPlus [^166.337] https://twitter.com/10InchesPlus/status/256279934371258368 His bio and stats on 12 October 2012: Samuel L. Jackson requested I be on his plane. I RT awesome people like it's my job. Location: At your fingertips,all of them · http://favstar.fm/users/10InchesPlus - 33,747 tweets. 1,369 following. 6,670 followers.

Wire me money so I know it's real

21 October 2012 Just Jayyyyyyy ‏@VerifiedJayy [^166.338] https://twitter.com/VerifiedJayy/status/260205616864317441 His bio and stats the next day: Guns, tattoos, scary movies and @januaryjames are just few of my favorite things. Location: Philly http://favstar.fm/users/verifiedjayy - 9,528 tweets. 1,554 following. 2,692 followers.

Sure I have twitter crushes, but I spare them the horror of sharing that information with any of them.

25 February 2012 Michael B Inlaoninni ‏@mikeinla09 [^166.339] https://twitter.com/mikeinla09/status/173515635710631937 His bio and stats on 16 November 2012: Equus africanus asinus. http://concerning-z.tumblr.com/ Location: Los Angeles · http://favstar.fm/users/mikeinla09/recent - 26,063 tweets. 2,096 following. 1,918 followers.

The only way to enjoy Twitter is to tweet what you want and block anyone who calls you their crush.

30 January 2013 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^166.340] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/296809992173002752 His bio and stats on 27 February 2013: I tweet so you don't have to. https://soundcloud.com/nerdamage-1/05hund4m463 - 16,272 tweets. 3,373 following. 11,597 followers.

Remember, tell that special person how you really feel. Before they block you.

29 January 2013 Shane ‏@shanethevein [^166.341] https://twitter.com/shanethevein/status/296509094787948544 Twitter bio and stats on 29 June 2013: Twitter should be an escape, not a destination. http://favstar.fm/users/shanethevein - Location: America's Finest City! · shanethevein.tumblr.com - 24,711 tweets. 5,634 following. 19,414 followers.

i fall in love every now and then to keep up the appearance of normality.

27 December 2011 Sweet P @preawsaurus [^166.342] https://twitter.com/#!/preawsaurus/status/151572773779677184 Her bio and stats on 8 November 2012: i am nice. at least that's the way i perceive myself. i could be wrong. Location: Tellus · http://favstar.fm/users/preawsaurus/most_retweeted - 12,197 tweets. 910 following. 8,090 followers.

Psst...We know who your Twittercrush is. The retweets and trophies give you away

like a pair of panties forgotten in his car.

25 July 2012 Just Lee ‏@Just_Lee_ [^166.343] https://twitter.com/just_lee_/status/228040426903461888 Her bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I have Twitter Tourette Syndrome. Its a real thing. And its incurable. So fuck it. http://favstar.fm/users/just_lee_ - 21,957 tweets. 1,755 following. 10,934 followers. Her bio and stats on 15 April 2014: Lets not make this personal. 781 tweets. 487 following. 2,306 followers.

I'll star my Twitter crushes' tweets without reading it. I don't give a fuck.

24 July 2012 Shane ‏@shanethevein [^166.344] https://twitter.com/shanethevein/status/227956626164965376 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: Twitter should be an escape, not a destination. http://favstar.fm/users/shanethevein Location: America's Finest City! · http://shanethevein.tumblr.com/ - 21,001 tweets. 5,385 following. 16,054 followers.

Say something I can star. Fucksake.

20 January 2013 Nevermind ‏@MyDarkSide73 [^166.345] https://twitter.com/MyDarkSide73/status/293160075328118785 Her bio and stats on 21 January 2013; Sense of humor. If you don't have one, go have the stick removed! I'm not that dark. Illiterate fucks need not apply. I'm married & I have a potty mouth. Location: this moment in time · http://favstar.fm/users/MyDarkSide73 - 7,685 tweets. 436 following. 1,248 followers.

It's cute seeing two of you here fall for each other and start sexting on Kik then twittercide.

6 August 2012 Aspersioncast ‏@Aspersioncast [^166.346] https://twitter.com/Aspersioncast/status/236098587539419136 His bio and stats on 21 November 2012: It's always a pleasure to meet someone with no sense of humour, then when I fuck with their head, it's unbelievably satisfying. Location: Perth Australia. · http://favstar.fm/users/AspersionCast/recent - 18,059 tweets. 17,901 following. 22,264 followers.

_Kik Messenger_ is an instant messaging application for mobile devices that enabled users to send and receive messages for free. It was released on 19 October 2010. On 21 January 2013 the developer, Kik Interactive, Inc., claimed on Kik.com that 30 million people were using Kik at the time.

"Do you use Kik?" is the, "You wanna go back to my place?" of Twitter.

27 April 2012 Rainbow Brite ‏@Cool_Jesse [^166.347] https://twitter.com/Cool_Jesse/status/196131596389191682 His bio and stats on 21 January 2013: i like bracelets. and squishy girls. Location: probably not where you left me · areyouhenry.tumblr.com - 156,259 tweets. 5,427 following. 9,942 followers.

I think we're alone now...

16 October 2012 Rawr ‏@FknVancouver [^166.348] https://twitter.com/FknVancouver/status/258416406524219392

Her bio: Clean, polite and STD free! (I am not the girl in my avi and no I will not send you pics). Location: Vancouver BC. 5,878 tweets. 1,649 following. 2,525 followers.

Sextually active.

13 March 2013 Dax Frost ‏@DaxFrost [^166.349] https://twitter.com/DaxFrost/status/311930007507333120 His bio and stats on 15 March 2013: PRESS PLAY. Location: Cape Town · http://www.thebrothersfrost.com. - 5,847 tweets. 237 following. 838 followers.

I'm so sick of these guys wanting to sext all the time when all I really want is just to talk about my feelings.

29 December 2012 Tricia ‏@Im_Tricia [^166.350] https://twitter.com/Im_Tricia/status/285231491372425217 Her bio and stats on 4 April 2013: Jazz hands for life. Follow me on Instagram & Vine: Im_Tricia. Location: Los Angeles · http://favstar.fm/users/Im_Tricia - 3,350 tweets. 655 following. 25,989 followers.

I have more people blocked on kik than I have followers on twitter.

13 May 2013 Jeni Scagnetti @JeniScagnetti [^166.351] https://twitter.com/JeniScagnetti/status/333992475339407360 Her Twitter bio and stats on 18 May 2013: In the history of language, the first obscenity was silence. Billionaire · favstar.fm/users/JJeniScagnetti - 20,052 tweets. 532 following. 10,477 followers

My future husband is probably on Kik asking for tit pics right now.

29 January 2013 Psycho is my petname ‏@murderbytweets [^166.352] https://twitter.com/murderbytweets/status/296458532960751617 Bio and stats on 30 January 2013: I've been known to let some of the best people walk out of my life. Good thing I won't find any of them here. http://favstar.fm/users/murderbytweets - 4,131 tweets. 1,729 following. 3,584 followers.

*sends you nudes but just as a friend*

15 June 2013 rosalia ‏@chinchillasex [^166.353] https://twitter.com/chinchillasex/status/346145273753513984 Her bio and stats on 16 June 2013: capri sun 4 lyf. Location: sf valley, ca. · rosalala.tumblr.com - 16,426 tweets. 167 following. 234 followers.

Quit reading all my tweets and just send me nudes, Jason.

18 December 2013 Prettiest Pickle ‏@PrettiestPickle [^166.354] https://twitter.com/PrettiestPickle/status/413453569489399808 Her bio and stats on 24 December 2013: Uninspired cunt killer. NYC FYM MAFIA BITCHES (I don't actually give a fuck about pickles). Location: Da Bronx · RMA.com. 9,746 tweets. 1,645 following. 8,771 followers.

I love rough sext

5 August 2012 Dean ‏@daplusk - https://twitter.com/daplusk/status/232074883817959424 His screen name, ID, bio and stats on 15 March 2013: Dean @DeanOkay [^166.355] Writes on the internet. Blinks in code. Contributor for @TheFakeCNN also post a weekly tweet list at http://theimpersonals.com/author/dean-okay/ - Location: Sydney · favstar.fm/users/DeanOkay - 1,247 tweets. 602 following. 7,429 followers.

So what if I print out an avi & draw hearts around it?

At least I'm not desperately RTing hoping they'll follow back.

Ok I'm doing that too.

14 May 2012 X X ‏@MasqueradedLady [^166.356] https://twitter.com/MasqueradedLady/status/201992669369606144 No Twitter account with this ID found on 7 December 2013. She appears to have stopped tweeting later in 2012.

Oh big deal. You enlarge the avi's of your crushes?

Pfft. I print mine out, & slap them with pickles while I pour Jolt Cola on myself.

Rookie.

26 July 2012 J ‏@The_Sculptress [^166.357] https://twitter.com/the_sculptress/status/228673440775806976 Her bio and stats on 14 October 2012: I'm never anybody but me, that way I always know who I am. Boys suck. @gorrdano is my boo. Location: Picking a number between 1&5 · http://favstar.fm/users/The_Sculptress/recent - 36,793 tweets. 826 following. 10,967 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 14 December 2013: Dressed like a doll. Primped like a doll. Posed like a doll. Pretty like a doll. Lifeless like a doll. http://favstar.fm/users/the_sculptress - 53,044 tweets. 821 following. 24,329 followers. For readability, a space was added after the second period in the tweet above and then again after the ampersand.

I printed your AVI on my pillow so I don't feel creepy kissing it at night.

Also, could you tell me what cologne you wear? This feels real.

13 October 2012 Suffer Kated ‏@kirbys4losers \- https://twitter.com/kirbys4losers/status/257137736933335040 Her stats: 19,495 tweets. 5,578 following. 9,298 followers. @kirbys4losers found as ‏@SuperApple8 [^166.358] on 29 October 2012. On 23 April 2013 no Twitter account found for either @kirbys4losers or ‏@SuperApple8. Twitter bio and stats for @SuperApple8 on 19 February 2013: Life is like a box of chocolate. I hate chocolate. favstar.fm/users/SuperApple8 - 6,051 tweets. 1,661 following. 8,354 followers.

@wcstryfe **i think i'd make a shitty twittercrush**

24 July 2012 Sweet P ‏@preawsaurus [^166.359] https://twitter.com/preawsaurus/status/227979057604726785 Her bio and stats on 8 November 2012: i am nice. at least that's the way i perceive myself. i could be wrong. Location: Tellus · http://favstar.fm/users/preawsaurus/most_retweeted - 12,197 tweets. 910 following. 8,090 followers.

tell me more about your twittercrush, don't be shy.

they tell me everything about you.

24 July 2012 Sweet P ‏@preawsaurus [^166.360] https://twitter.com/preawsaurus/status/227977739255296000 Her bio and stats on 8 November 2012: i am nice. at least that's the way i perceive myself. i could be wrong. Location: Tellus · http://favstar.fm/users/preawsaurus/most_retweeted - 12,197 tweets. 910 following. 8,090 followers.

My Twittercrush showed me the pictures you sent. I applaud your courage.

19 July 2012 Fluffy Suse ‏@fluffysuse [^166.361] https://twitter.com/fluffysuse/status/225954341763293185 Her bio and stats on 11 November 2012: Prolific giggler. Inane chatterer. Fan of hyperbole. Lover of watermelon. Swears when drunk. And sober. Location: bed, mostly · http://favstar.fm/users/fluffysuse - 19,234 tweets. 1,137 following. 4,620 followers.

Online love may not last forever, but all those naked pictures and sexts you send a stranger do, you fucking idiot.

1 February 2013 Brandon ‏@BarebakAssassin [^166.362] https://twitter.com/BarebakAssassin/status/297435903624888320 His bio and stats on 29 April 2013: I may not be able to hit bottom, but I'm a pro at banging it off the sides. Also, I swear a lot, because fuck you. Location: Seattle, Washington · http://favstar.fm/users/BarebakAssassin - 2,927 tweets. 1,491 following. 16,401 followers.

I remember when I was your twitter crush. Good times, good times.

25 December 2011 Panda @ispypanda [^166.363] https://twitter.com/#!/ispypanda/status/151160931567665154

Her bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I put cupcake lotion on because I'm an adult. http://favstar.fm/users/ispypanda/recent - 16,359 tweets. 903 following. 8,306 followers.

you know you're over someone when you're too lazy to log onto your fake accounts to check what they've been up to

8 January 2013 Sputnik Sweetheart ‏@Verlieren [^166.364] https://twitter.com/Verlieren/status/288729595681849344 Her bio and stats on 25 February 2013: Creator of Google, previously psychotic person. Not to make you fall in love with me but I probably don't have AIDS. http://tinyurl.com/verinstagram - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001856/ - 11,959 tweets. 503 following. 16,109 followers.

My favorite part of everything is where it's over and I can go back to staring at your photos.

30 June 2012 christine ‏@thesupergrobi [^166.365] https://twitter.com/thesupergrobi/status/219058167265497088 Her bio and stats on 28 November 2012: Ich bin eine Lady. Location: all those old fashioned places · http://favstar.fm/users/thesupergrobi \- 7,445 tweets. 644 following. 5,067 followers.

I deleted every picture of you..

now it's like you were never real.

31 October 2012 Teewee ‏@Wussawilla [^166.366] https://twitter.com/Wussawilla/status/263590963111424002 Her bio and stats on 6 November 2012: Sometimes while sleeping, I dream of being real.. Location: The Center · http://favstar.fm/users/Wussawilla - 24,819 tweets. 2,346 following. 7,439 followers.

Now you're just some tweeter that I used to know.

6 July 2013 angieMcSugarButt ‏@LuvPug [^166.367] https://twitter.com/LuvPug/status/353537536712384512 Her Twitter bio: If I was as funny in real life as I am on twitter, I wouldn't be on twitter. @moldy_jellybean killed a clown for me once. Location: in your phone, somewhere · http://favstar.fm/users/LuvPug/tweets_of_the_day - 46,553 tweets. 13,006 following. 23,563 followers.

Retweet like you're not bitter.

8 December 2012 ShoutingGoddess ‏@ShoutingGoddess [^166.368] https://twitter.com/ShoutingGoddess/status/277375781741682688 Her bio and stats on 30 January 2013: Don't read this shit. Go read a book. 111,806 tweets. 2,569 following. 19,751 followers.

If they're not SubTweeting you then they don't love you.

18 September 2012 Ryan Armentrout ‏@ryaninco [^166.369] https://twitter.com/ryaninco/status/248181271342231552

His bio and stats on 2 November 2012: Traveling the U.S. like a gypsy, only I take a shower daily. Instagram Ryaninco. Location: I get around · http://favstar.fm/users/ryaninco - 22,000 tweets. 5,016 following. 13,127 followers.

Subtweet: Because it's easier telling thousands how you feel about someone in 140 characters, than expressing yourself to the actual person.

6 July 2013 angieMcSugarButt ‏@LuvPug [^166.370] https://twitter.com/LuvPug/status/353603320356667392 Her Twitter bio: If I was as funny in real life as I am on twitter, I wouldn't be on twitter. @moldy_jellybean killed a clown for me once. Location: in your phone, somewhere · http://favstar.fm/users/LuvPug/tweets_of_the_day - 46,553 tweets. 13,006 following. 23,563 followers.

Relationship Status: Subtweeting.

20 May 2013 Enter The Dragon ‏@1st_Disciple [^166.371] https://twitter.com/1st_Disciple/status/336719213592985600 Bio: I'm the punishment of God. If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you. Location: 665. 42,079 tweets. 267 following. 1,086 followers.

Your subtweets were better when they were inspired by me.

25 June 2013 angieMcSugarButt ‏@LuvPug [^166.372] https://twitter.com/LuvPug/status/349693817638752256 Her Twitter bio and stats on 6 July 2013: If I was as funny in real life as I am on twitter, I wouldn't be on twitter. @moldy_jellybean killed a clown for me once. Location: in your phone, somewhere · http://favstar.fm/users/LuvPug/tweets_of_the_day - 46,553 tweets. 13,006 following. 23,563 followers.

I convince myself that all of your subtweets are about me

12 June 2012 Mudblood ‏@DiscoLemonKayy [^166.373] https://twitter.com/DiscoLemonKayy/status/212539958907518978 Her bio and stats on 30 October 2012: I'm a shade too awkward for pretty; this muggle bullshit is for the birds. Location: into the wild :) 26,411 tweets. 907 following. 6,509 followers.

Oh fuck you and your condescending starring of my tweets.

30 January 2013 Fuzzy Pimple ‏@FuzzyPimple [^166.374] https://twitter.com/FuzzyPimple/status/296546366342189058 His bio and stats on 10 March 2013: I used to have a pimple, now I don't. Location: Under The Westgate. Melbourne. 30,105 tweets. 768 following. 9,584 followers.

If I don't like your subtweet I'll just pretend it wasn't adressed to me and try to move on with my life.

10 June 2012 Exclusive ‏@Exclusive001 [^166.375] https://twitter.com/Exclusive001/status/211849083424485376 On 19 August 2012 this account's screen name and ID: Bacon Ball ‏@Exclusive001 - bio: I've been ignored by better. Location: the Netherlands. 11,995 tweets. 1,144 following. 2,534 followers. - Twitter screen name, ID bio and stats on 7 December 2013: Артур Петросян @exclusive001 - 0 tweets. 0 following. 0 followers. This account appears to have experienced a change of control.

Hey you guys, let's have a contest to see who can tweet the least!

19 May 2012 Ms. Shiz ‏@NotJPo [^166.376] https://twitter.com/#!/NotJPo/status/204057506778054657 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: All my tweets are 100% true, idiot. (name courtesy of @SweetTweetsBRO). Location: Peauxland · http://favstar.fm/users/NotJPo/status/245683543525711872 - 11,835 tweets. 1,983 following. 18,682 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 15 December 2013: I have PMS. 16,932 tweets. 2,187 following. 26,140 followers.

Of course it's a test.

18 July 2012 emceej ‏@emceej [^166.377] https://twitter.com/emceej/status/225756431658389504 Bio and stats on 13 January 2013: Pronounced M-Siege or MCJ, your choice. You are my density. Turn back now if you believe in spooks. I do not heart hashtags. Location: VA • USA · favstar.fm/users/emceej/recent - 17,722 tweets. 3,254 following. 3,982 followers.

no, YOU'RE using the internet as a superhero cape.

16 August 2012 snarkarella ‏@snarkarella [^166.378] https://twitter.com/snarkarella/status/236092947576279040 Her bio and stats on 17 December 2012: i like snacking on ice cubes. 3,547 tweets. 389 following. 1,594 followers.

Sometimes I think I'm too emotional for the Internet.

6 March 2012 Sophia rossi ‏@sofifii [^166.379] https://twitter.com/sofifii/status/177289734253584384 Her bio and stats on 25 February 2013: bossy tween & http://bffproductions.tumblr.com/ - http://hellogiggles.com/ - 8,926 tweets. 1,294 following. 114,480 followers.

emotional crisis + no one to talk to = prime twitter real estate

3 April 2012 Ashley Grashaw ‏@ashgrash [^166.380] https://twitter.com/ashgrash/status/187340250283130881 Her bio and stats on 2 March 2013: Everyone needs to just calm down and fall in love with me. http://favstar.fm/users/ashgrash - 545 tweets. 572 following. 1,867 followers.

I'm not receiving any attention and my wifi is down so basically I'm going to need an ambulance.

3 June 2013 Corey G. @CoreyNotKori [^166.381] https://twitter.com/CoreyNotKori/status/341735208917295104 Her Twitter bio and stats on 13 July 2013: I sold a baby for funnel cake once. Location: The Middlest of the Midwest · favstar.fm/users/coreynotkori - 6,691 tweets. 463 following. 1,620 followers. She had been going to community college that spring.

Special Needs.

20 July 2012 emceej ‏@emceej [^166.382] https://twitter.com/emceej/status/226270262595821568 Bio and stats on 13 January 2013: Pronounced M-Siege or MCJ, your choice. You are my density. Turn back now if you believe in spooks. I do not heart hashtags. Location: VA • USA · favstar.fm/users/emceej/recent - 17,722 tweets. 3,254 following. 3,982 followers.

I wish other people could give me self-respect.

23 July 2012 skullcat ‏@skullcat [^166.383] https://twitter.com/skullcat/status/227399097924071424 Her bio and stats on 13 January 2013, when her most recent tweet was dated 14 October 2012: Using sarcasm as a natural defense against companionship, and alcohol as artificial protection from sobriety. Mom to teen, designer to graphics. Location: Vancouver · http://favstar.fm/users/skullcat - 29,183 tweets. 6,736 following. 8,289 followers.

The more attention I get, the more I feel I deserve attention.

Which leads me to feeling neglected.

What does Oprah say about this?

29 April 2013 Chris Layton ‏@LaytesAgain [^166.384] https://twitter.com/LaytesAgain/status/329013947753705473 His bio and stats on 1 May 2013: Helvetica soul in a Times New Roman world. Location: NC · chrislaytoncomedy.com - 6,617 tweets. 986 following. 4,543 followers.

We all need attention. Needing attention is not pathological by itself. The paradox is that relying on social media as a solution for loneliness can easily become its own problem.

Social media provides us with real-time statistics on how much other people like us. It broadcasts those statistics to others. In return, it provides us with indicators showing their popularity.

Retweet and star counts give us instant feedback on the popularity of each of our posts. This instant feedback compounds INAD. Each new star or retweet can produce a pleasurable little squirt of dopamine, fueling our compulsion.

The shift to always-on devices can increase the risk of INAD and the associated problems of obsessive-compulsive and attention-deficit disorders, anxiety and depression. The psychosis this encourages can be devastating to previously healthy, well-adjusted individuals. As some of the next tweets describe, connecting to others through social media can make us more lonely and depressed. It can also encourage more severe forms of mental illness.

As illustrated below, rewiring of brains in response to social-media activity can occur in a matter of days. Quitting can be difficult. Attempts are often unsuccessful.

Source of the information paraphrased above:

"Is the Web Driving Us Mad?" by Tony Dokoupil, Newsweek Magazine, 9 July 2012,

 http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2012/07/08/is-the-internet-making-us-crazy-what-the-new-research-says.html

Tony Dokoupil @tonydokoupil [^166.385 and ^166.386 for quotes below] Twitter bio and stats on 29 January 2013: writer for @thedailybeast and @newsweek. far flung feature stories. first name last name at gmail dot com - 25 tweets. 24 following. 70 followers.

Newsweek @Newsweek [^166.387 and ^166.388 for quotes below] Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 8 January 2013: Get smarter, faster. Subscribe: http://bit.ly/nwksubscribeTW. Location: New York, NY · http://www.newsweek.com - 14,186 tweets. 62,355 following. 1,866,832 followers. Their website resolved to TheDailyBeast.com, which they merged with in 2010.

Tony Dokoupil reports that one third of Americans go online _before_ getting out of bed in the morning.

Quotes:

"This is an issue as important and unprecedented as climate change," says Susan Greenfield, a pharmacology professor at Oxford University who is working on a book about how digital culture is rewiring us—and not for the better. "We could create the most wonderful world for our kids but that's not going to happen if we're in denial and people sleepwalk into these technologies and end up glassy-eyed zombies."...

Peter Whybrow, the director of the Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior at UCLA, argues that "the computer is like electronic cocaine," fueling cycles of mania followed by depressive stretches. The Internet "leads to behavior that people are conscious is not in their best interest and does leave them anxious and does make them act compulsively," says Nicholas Carr, whose book _The Shallows_ , about the Web's effect on cognition, was nominated for a Pulitzer Prize...

The brains of Internet addicts scan a lot like the brains of drug and alcohol addicts.

[End of quotes from Tony Dokoupil's article, separated by ellipses. Underlining added above.]

Susan Greenfield [^166.389] No Twitter ID found on 27 February 2014.

Peter Whybrow [^166.390] No Twitter ID found on 27 February 2014.

The website for: The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains, by Nicholas Carr: http://www.theshallowsbook.com Nicholas Carr blogs at: http://www.roughtype.com/ His personal website: http://www.nicholasgcarr.com/

Nicholas Carr's Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 12 May 2013: Rough Type @roughtype [^166.391] I am Nicholas Carr's blog's Twitter feed. I am moody and unreliable and automated. I resemble an egg. roughtype.com - 49 tweets. 0 following. 492 followers. Nicholas Carr's Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 6 November 2013: Rough Type @roughtype - I am Nicholas Carr's blog's Twitter feed. I am moody and unreliable and automated. I also work as a Google Glass model. roughtype.com - 97 tweets. 0 following. 753 followers.

I dedicate this tweet to the loving memory of my brain. Just laid it to rest next to my sex and social lives.

15 August 2012 Lisa Laughs ‏@Lisa_Laughs_ [^166.392] https://twitter.com/Lisa_Laughs_/status/235885006621388800 Her bio and stats the next day: I shouted at the devil once. He cried and made me a chicken pot pie. Location: Laughing with Gordo Pie Token. 43,275 tweets. 3,811 following. 13,329 followers.

Every generation experiences its own ennui, its own melancholy, its own search for identity, meaning and personal reinforcement. Each generation faces its own pressures, which can be acute for students tired of school, workers in boring jobs, couples in boring relationships, and individuals who are tired of themselves. These pressures can grow and become silently but not completely debilitating, producing people who are prematurely burned out, apathetic and ripe for Internet addiction.

Once someone goes online and becomes immersed, real-world pressures can recede and individuals may exercise more control over what they do and who they are. Attention is sought from others without the tedious, time-consuming and emotionally demanding efforts that offline friendships can require.

Together, INAD and Internet addiction allow us to connect to others while remaining alone – alive and dead at the same time – modern zombies.

The tweets here express a state of exhaustion, of giving up yet wanting more, wanting something different.

INAD grows out of larger issues in modern society and with our sense of self. These issues include how we interact with others in real life, and how connected and validated we feel. INAD and Internet addiction are not isolated problems as much as solutions to other problems. For many of us, these solutions have become our new problems.

As a feminist, I am 'too independent', as a realist I am 'emotionally unavailable' and as a human I am 'lonely'

21 May 2012 foxy j ‏@idreamofmayo [^166.393] https://twitter.com/idreamofmayo/status/204655890387828737 Her bio and stats on 18 November 2012: kid at heart but not liver http://favstar.fm/users/idreamofmayo Location: (Hou/Bo) ston. 3,402 tweets. 231 following. 329 followers. No account with this ID found on 7 April 2013.

It's lonely at the bottom too.

15 March 2012 Clarke Kant ‏@clarkekant [^166.394] https://twitter.com/#!/clarkekant/status/180479741235707905 Bio and stats on 18 November 2012: I'm all for saving the world, just not necessarily the people. Now available on http://Witstream.com ! Location: America-ish · http://favstar.fm/users/clarkekant - 9,997 tweets. 776 following. 29,442 followers.

We're alone in this together.

11 August 2012 Your Muse ‏@RummyLauded [^166.395] https://twitter.com/rummylauded/status/234275036641497088 Her bio: Most of this is false. I always tell the truth. Location: Your pocket, usually. 11,241 tweets. 958 following. 5,787 followers. Her bio and stats on 19 February 2013: All of this is false. I always tell the truth. Location: Between a rock & a hard place. · http://favstar.fm/users/RummyLauded/recent - 13,029 tweets. 936 following. 8,303 followers.

1. Write hilarious tweet.

2. Laugh uncontrollably.

3. Send tweet.

4. Three stars.

5. Die alone.

14 November 2012 Shkeeber ‏@shkeeber [^166.396] https://twitter.com/shkeeber/status/268777470751297536 Stats on 8 December 2013: Connecticut · http://favstar.fm/users/shkeeber/tweets_of_the_day - 39,749 tweets. 5,126 following. 18,435 followers. On 8 December 2013, this tweet was found to have 802 retweets and 1,526 stars.

twitter why are you doing this to me

why are you doing this to us

21 January 2013 burgers johnson ‏@buttsamillion [^166.397] https://twitter.com/buttsamillion/status/293492070918791168 Twitter location and stats on 25 April 2013: correcticut · http://favstar.fm/users/buttsamillion - 6,722 tweets. 516 following. 1,059 followers.

Twitter is the cure to a disease that you didn't realize you had until you opened your account.

4 October 2012 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^166.398] https://twitter.com/Schmoodles/status/253946319146721280

Her bio and stats the next day: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,216 tweets. 992 following. 31,974 followers.

# **8ReasonsWhyImOnTwitter**

1. Loneliness.

2. Seclusion.

3. Hopelessness.

4. Isolation.

5. Alienation.

6. Solitude.

7. Desperation.

8. Boredom.

7 November 2012 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^166.399] https://twitter.com/Schmoodles/status/266287836418932738 Her bio: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,349 tweets. 1,028 following. 35,984 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers. #8ReasonsWhyImOnTwitter signals that the tweet was part of a hashtag game.

As much as I love Twitter & the people interact with there is a certain drawback:

I never realized how lonely I really was until I joined.

28 June 2012 Dead Soul Walking ‏@That_Damn_Duck [^166.400] https://twitter.com/That_Damn_Duck/status/218378857261187072 His bio and stats on 7 November 2012: A horrible person who's an Êv¡£ Genius & sarcasm specialist. AudioBoo & Instagram same name Blocked by @snooki @ItalianBratikus is rents this space. Location: Lake Murray, South Carolina · http://favstar.fm/users/That_Damn_Duck/recent - 3,496 tweets. 993 following. 9,371 followers.

Cry for help.

13 October 2012 Alec Sulkin ‏@thesulk [^166.401] https://twitter.com/thesulk/status/257322687028932609 His bio and stats on 22 November 2012: Breaker of Swift Mustache Hairs. Location: Los Angeles. 6,748 tweets. 836 following. 481,460 followers.

Only on Twitter are your cries for help starred, retweeted, awarded with a trophy & yet ignored all at the same time.

23 June 2012 ☠Dead Soul Walking☠ ‏@That_Damn_Duck [^166.402] https://twitter.com/That_Damn_Duck/status/216582938857443330 His bio and stats on 7 November 2012: A horrible person who's an Êv¡£ Genius & sarcasm specialist. AudioBoo & Instagram same name Blocked by @snooki @ItalianBratikus is rents this space. Location: Lake Murray, South Carolina · http://favstar.fm/users/That_Damn_Duck/recent - 3,496 tweets. 993 following. 9,371 followers.

If I told you guys that I was stranded on a island, you'd probably just star it instead of rescuing me.

27 May 2012 Melicious ‏@brutalbird [^166.403] https://twitter.com/brutalbird/status/206795156551241728 Her bio and stats on 8 October 2012: I am not perfect, but I've been told I'm close enough. http://favstar.fm/users/brutalbird - 5,762 tweets. 1,325 following. 1,445 followers.

The real danger of Twitter is that it lets you be yourself & still be accepted and for a moment you think it could happen in RL too.

29 June 2012 That I Girl ‏@_thatigirl - https://twitter.com/_thatigirl/status/218694718261960704 Bio and stats on 13 February 2013: Working on training Octopuses as service animals: for when you absolutely need a shitload of stuff done at once. http://favstar.fm/users/_thatigirl - 21,301 tweets. 3,876 following. 4,253 followers. Screen name, bio and stats on 8 December 2013: Sileah @_theigirl [^166.404] Working on training Octopuses as service animals: for when you absolutely need a shitload of stuff done at once. favstar.fm/users/_theigirl - 37,279 tweets. 5,588 following. 6,632 followers.

When I'm not on twitter I'm quiet and hidden.

5 October 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^166.405] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/254452497333248000 Bio: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com 7,987 tweets. 1,510 following. 1,165 followers.

It occurred to me that people who tweet the most are usually the most silent in real life.

11 July 2012 Malak Mansour ‏@xMalakMansourx [^166.406] https://twitter.com/xMalakMansourx/status/223054965378256896 Her bio and stats on 27 November 2012: A fictional character created by your perception. 3,255 tweets. 280 following. 503 followers.

I'm one frond shy of a wallflower.

6 August 2012 Andy Glib ‏@redherringbear [^166.407] https://twitter.com/redherringbear/status/232716040000372736 Bio: Just here to make you laugh. 18+ please. Location: Oregon. 7,174 tweets. 1,735 following. 2,050 followers.

All anyone wants is to know someone out there truly cares about us.

4 July 2012 Steve ‏@FSUSteve [^166.408] https://twitter.com/fsusteve/status/220663974939734017 Bio and stats on 8 November 2012: My ride or die @mekaylasmoody Location: Florida · http://favstar.fm/users/FSUSteve - 57,242 tweets. 3,537 following. 12,316 followers. His bio and stats on 16 May 2013: Twitter is the Matrix. Location: Miami · favstar.fm/users/FSUSteve \- 65,814 tweets. 4,634 following. 16,092 followers.

Anyone who says, "It's only Twitter." obviously never read a tweet which made them forget about wanting to kill themselves for 5 minutes.

1 June 2012 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^166.409] https://twitter.com/Schmoodles/status/208566840434233344 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

From the bottom of my heart, I thank each and every one of you for sticking with me and reading my bullshit. It means more than you know.

21 August 2012 Brandon ‏@BarebakAssassin [^166.410] https://twitter.com/barebakassassin/status/238159484701253632 His bio and stats on 29 April 2013: I may not be able to hit bottom, but I'm a pro at banging it off the sides. Also, I swear a lot, because fuck you. Location: Seattle, Washington · http://favstar.fm/users/BarebakAssassin - 2,927 tweets. 1,491 following. 16,401 followers.

All joking aside. The people I have met on here in the past month make me feel like I have already won at Twitter.

5 August 2012 Joseph the Smeghead ‏@joeyhuggles [^166.411] https://twitter.com/joeyhuggles/status/222342661372248064 Bio and stats on 30 October 2012: Un-funny Motherfucker /// #teamstefany Location: Cincy · http://favstar.fm/users/joeyhuggles/recent - 21,482 tweets. 817 following. 2,463 followers. His screen name, bio and stats on 8 December 2013: The White Nightmare @joeyhuggles - Unfunny Motherfucker. 35,946 tweets. 1,166 following. 6,584 followers.

To outsiders, you're all nameless faces.

To me, you're my world.

11 November 2012 JUNKYARDIGAN ‏@junkyardigan [^166.412] https://twitter.com/junkyardigan/status/267757288159334400 His bio and stats on 13 November 2012: I'm just a guy. Not that guy. The other guy. Over there. In the back. Hi. 3,345 tweets. 1,719 following. 2,233 followers.

PLOT TWIST: WE ALL ACTUALLY CARE.

7 December 2012 fase ‏@iamfase [^166.413] https://twitter.com/iamfase/status/276994376364875776 His bio and stats on 9 December 2012: *an imaginary list of impressive reasons why you should read the bullshit I write* Moderator at @RapGenius Instagram: iamfase Location: Kuwait · favstar.fm/users/iamfase/ - 9,601 tweets. 1,233 following. 2,892 followers.

Also, I love this view of how unhappy groups are at the periphery of social networks, happy people at the centre.

http://bit.ly/SfIyUk

21 August 2012 Nilanjana Roy ‏@nilanjanaroy [^166.414] https://twitter.com/nilanjanaroy/status/237787696540565504 Her bio and stats on 28 April 2013: Writer, cat herder, recovered bibliophagist. More at: http://nilanjanaroy.com/ - Location: Delhi, mostly · http://thewildings.net/ - 8,350 tweets. 357 following. 91,378 followers.

Points to: "Professor Nicholas Christakis takes us into the world of social networks," by Elena Nikolova, GR Reporter – News from Greece, 18 March 2010,  http://www.grreporter.info/en/professor_nicholas_christakis_takes_us_world_social_networks/2365

"Networks magnify everything they are seeded with," said Nicholas Christakis above. Thoughts and emotions can spread within networks, like infections, with kindness able to spread contagiously out from the center of social networks. Happy people tend to cluster together at the center of social networks.

"Social networks are required for goodness to flourish," said Christakis.

Elena Nikolova [^166.415] no Twitter ID identified on 17 March 2013 and 10 December 2013.

Twitter bio and stats on 17 March 2013 for: grreporter @grreporter [^166.416] News from Greece: politics, economy, media, culture, lifestyle, documentaries. Location: Athens, Greece · http://www.grreporter.info/en/ - 5,146 tweets. 176 following. 515 followers. No Twitter ID found on 17 March 2013 for Elena Nikolova [^].

Nicholas Christakis @NAChristakis [^166.417] Twitter bio and stats on 17 March 2013: Professor at Harvard University. Dedicated to the intersection of the natural and social sciences. Cambridge, MA · http://www.humannaturelab.net - 461 tweets. 79 following. 1,885 followers. Elena Nikolova reported on a lecture given by Nicholas Christakis at the Hellenic American Union in Athens.

See also:

Twitter bio and stats on 17 March 2013 for: Christakis & Fowler @connected_book - Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives by Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler. Location: The Human Superorganism · http://connectedthebook.com \- 327 tweets. 46 following. 2,278 followers.

You come here for the laughs, you stay for the friendships.

2 May 2012 Czar M ‏@MayhemCzar [^166.418] https://twitter.com/MayhemCzar/status/197848281177522177 His bio and stats on 31 January 2013: I am the Czar of mayhem. That's all you need to know right now. Location: Siberia · http://favstar.fm/users/MayhemCzar - 590 tweets. 934 following. 1,725 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  167. Addiction to Social Media

Starting out: 168

Making friends and falling in love in cyberspace: 169

The perils of self-imposed isolation: 170

Twitter therapy: 171

Staying inside: 172

Having a charged phone: 173

Social media suicide: 174

Primary relationships intervene: 175

Full-blown addiction, the view from inside: 176

INAD revisited: 177

Coping strategies for social media addiction: 178

Mina's musings: 179

The end of Twitter: 180

There were about five million humans alive 10,000 years ago, near the beginning of the _Holocene geological epoch_ that began 11,700 years ago and continues today. 10,000 years ago an individual may have met only 500 people over their entire lifetime. Meeting a new person could be an important and thrilling event. Thanks to social media, we can easily hear from more than 500 people in a single day, each of whom has the capability (through retweeting) to expose us to many more.

It's becoming correspondingly harder to meet and become friends with new people in real life. Most new acquaintances do not share our interests and don't have the time or motivation to continually recognize and affirm us. On social media, introductions and mutual affirmations become easier and are often instantaneous. This cuts the Gordian knot of social introductions and subsequent time-consuming ritualized interactions.

Cutting the Gordian knot has downsides, which the following analogy regarding the introduction of liquor to Alaska illustrates.

In northern Alaska before the mass arrival of whites, sweat lodges held a central place in the lives of Alaska Natives. Sweat-lodge rituals required considerable time and effort in order to produce a trance-like state where participants believed that spirits could speak through them, and which meant participants were not responsible for their own words. In these trances, an individual could speak freely (especially about what was bothering them) and perhaps find their social problems and identity issues resolved in the process.

Sweat-lodge rituals provided a social environment and a form of protective anonymity that was respected within the larger community. Once white people introduced alcohol, trances could be achieved instantly and sweat lodges fell out of use. Social media has given us anonymity and social shortcuts, and social media has its own addictive aspects. While Alaska Natives struggle to moderate the harmful impacts of alcohol, people around the world are struggling to moderate the negative aspects of social media. First comes the shortcut, then the addiction.

If you're not a twitter addict, then you're either new or you have magic powers.

15 May 2013 veggie femme ‏@veggiefemme [^167.1] https://twitter.com/veggiefemme/status/334692645819518977 Her bio and stats on 16 May 2013: I'm passionate about reciprocity in an approximate and unsatisfactory fashion. Location: Canada · favstar.fm/users/veggiefemme - 14,026 tweets. 3,953 following. 4,051 followers.

#  168. Starting out

just setting up my twttr

21 March 2006 Jack Dorsey ‏@jack [^168.1] https://twitter.com/jack/status/20 His bio and stats on 18 March 2013: A sailor, a tailor. Location: San Francisco. 12,812 tweets. 1,335 following. 2,232,703 followers. As of 18 March 2013, this tweet had accumulated 8,955 retweets and 7,940 favorites.

This is the first extant tweet. Note the URL of the tweet and the syntax of the tweet's content. The date of this tweet, 21 March, has become an unofficial holiday for Twitter enthusiasts.

We are all just endlessly riffing off The Original Tweet.

26 June 2012 Jenny Pentland ‏@JennyPentland [^168.2] https://twitter.com/jennypentland/status/217722568868757504 Her bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I gave myself a prison tattoo in a teen help facility when I was 14. It was of a happy face. Then I met you. http://favstar.fm/users/JennyPentland - 10,079 tweets. 1,451 following. 7,719 followers.

hey look I tweeted

am I cool now

14 May 2012 Rachel ‏@tac0hell [^168.3] https://twitter.com/tac0hell/status/202120193617575936 Her bio and stats on 7 April 2013: I'll eat ur face without taking bath salts. Location: Washington, DC · http://facebook.com/rach3llo - 189 tweets. 53 following. 22 followers.

Her first tweet.

What should I tweet

2 September 2012 Daria ‏@daria_1024 [^168.4] https://twitter.com/daria_1024/status/242472200848936960 Her Twitter bio and stats 10 September 2012: zzzzzzzzz. Location: PA. 2,545 tweets. 226 following. 57 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 2 June 2013: All this for a carton of eggs. Location: PA. 4,938 tweets. 223 following. 80 followers.

Newbies... have you considered the repercussions of committing to Twitter? Think carefully.

10 September 2012 Ghetto Trophy ‏@Ghetto_Trophy [^168.5] https://twitter.com/ghetto_trophy/status/245320197005778944 Her bio and stats on 28 November 2012: I'm the Forrest Gump of this place. http://ghettotrophy.tumblr.com/ - Location: United Nations/San Francisco · http://favstar.fm/users/Ghetto_Trophy/recent - 41,460 tweets. 3,598 following. 8,902 followers. Underlining added.

New to Twitter? Don't worry. The shame wears off just as the addiction kicks in.

15 November 2011 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^168.6] https://twitter.com/schmoodles/status/136473388007960578 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

Ok so I'm gonna do it, I'm going to try to get people I don't even know to follow me. Seems a bit reckless though.

2 July 2012 plzstopfollowingme ‏@imence2 [^168.7] https://twitter.com/imence2/status/219893299564122113

His first tweet.

Ten days later:

Crack!

12 July 2012 plzstopfollowingme ‏@imence2 [^168.8] https://twitter.com/imence2/status/223451840845586436 His bio and stats on 13 July 2012: I was taking a shit and decided to sign up for Twitter....ive been on this fucking toliet for a week now! 418 tweets. 178 following. 180 followers.

After five more weeks:

Pretty sure I haven't made direct eye contact with anyone in 5 weeks.

18 August 2012 plzdontfollowme ‏@imence2 [^168.9] https://twitter.com/imence2/status/236945373799804928

His stats on 19 October 2012 when his screen name appeared as GoodNewsBadNews: 21,040 tweets. 1,083 following. 5,777 followers. 80%-90% of his tweets were retweets.

His screen name, bio and stats on 23 February 2013: Cobrad - There's a lot of things in my real life bio I'd like to erase. Having a best friend like @RandomlyMJ is one I lucky to be able to write. Location: Talking to @Jermhimselfish · http://favstar.fm/users/imence2/recent - 32,743 tweets. 975 following. 8,922 followers. Underlining added.

A parody satirizing the newly enthralled:

I came here a week ago to find my favorite band and since then, I hate music, haven't showered, quit my job, and love a bunch of strangers.

17 August 2012 Tommy Karate ‏@TommyKarate [^168.10] https://twitter.com/TommyKarate/status/236589527307804672 His bio and stats on 27 October 2012: My wife and I have a deal. She can't see my tweets and I can't see her facebook. I'm not really married. http://favstar.fm/users/TommyKarate/recent Location: Brooklyn, NY · http://favstar.fm/users/TommyKarate/most_retweeted - 18,006 tweets. 1,006 following. 5,070 followers. His stats on 7 November 2012: 20,587 tweets. 1,010 following. 5,753 followers. On 8 April 2013 this account was found to have been disabled.

What did I do before Twitter? Well, there's my family and......OH MY GOD WHERE'S MY FAMILY?!?!

25 March 2012 Amy ‏@YesThatAmy [^168.11] https://twitter.com/YesThatAmy/status/184115653383421952 Her bio and stats on 20 December 2012: Lover of beer. Hater of clowns. Sarcasmic. I'm the boss of those people at that place. favstar.fm/users/YesThatAmy - 2,447 tweets. 1,441 following. 3,750 followers.

• • • • •

Twitter did not go mainstream. The mainstream came to Twitter. The defining moment occurred when Oprah Winfrey joined Twitter on Friday morning, 17 April 2009. The talk-show diva joined Twitter during a live broadcast of her globally syndicated television show. Oprah used Twitter to communicate directly with audiences in real time on subsequent shows. Her regular audiences consisted neither of early adopters nor the digerati (the digital elite). Seeing Oprah tweet personally and with scant regard for grammatical formalities encouraged millions to join and participate in online discussions. Compare Oprah Winfrey's follower numbers with those Donni Saphire and the New York Times below:

Wouldn't it be nice if we were Oprah

22 February 2013 donni ‏@donni [^168.12] https://twitter.com/donni/status/305194046148706304 His bio: AKA Donni Saphire. Joke sayer, sketch writer, butt dancer. Wants to be on your showcase. More at TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com ) Stealing babies is wrong. Location: Chicago but restless · favstar.fm/users/donni/recent - 10,006 tweets. 897 following. 27,845 followers. Underlining added here and in Oprah's bio below.

Oprah's first tweet:

HI TWITTERS . THANK YOU FOR A WARM WELCOME. FEELING REALLY 21st CENTURY .

17 April 2009 Oprah Winfrey @Oprah [^168.13] https://twitter.com/Oprah/status/1542224596 Bio and stats on 26 January 2013: Live Your Best Life. Location: Chicago, IL · http://www.oprah.com - 5,627 tweets. 117 following. 16,216,613 followers. On 18 January 2015 this tweet was found to have accumulated 1,960 retweets and 2,496 stars.

A video clip of Oprah joining Twitter:  http://www.oprah.com/showinfo/Oprah-Twitters-with-Ashton-Kutcher

Response:

Welcome to the Twitterati, Ms. Winfrey. Your attention span will never be the same.

A quote from: "Oprah's First Words on Twitter: 'HI TWITTERS'" by Vindu Goel and Jenna Wortham, The New York Times, 17 April 2009, http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/04/17/oprahs-first-words-on-twitter-hi-twitters/

Vindu Goel @vindugoel [^168.14] Twitter bio and stats on 26 January 2013: Editor overseeing coverage of energy, automobiles and labor issues at The New York Times, with some Russia and India news thrown in for good measure. Location: New York, NY · http://www.nytimes.com/business - 1,011 tweets. 188 following. 8,253 followers.

Jenna Wortham @jennydeluxe [^168.15] Twitter bio and stats on 26 January 2013: GIF maker, news breaker. @nytimes technology reporter; @wired alum. △✝△ In an open relationship with the Internet. Side hustle: http://girlcrushzine.tumblr.com – Location: Brooklyn. 9,289 tweets. 3,529 following. 481,044 followers.

The New York Times @nytimes [^168.16] Twitter bio and stats on 26 January 2013: Where the Conversation Begins. Follow for breaking news, special reports, http://NYTimes.com homepage links and RTs of our journalists. Location: New York City · http://www.nytimes.com/ - 98,183 tweets. 731 following. 7,289,918 followers.

• • • • •

Good Morrow Dames and Dorks.

5 November 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^168.17] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/265695606423576576 Her bio and stats on 6 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 9,816 tweets. 1,963 following. 1,680 followers.

Sign in to your happy place.

1 November 2012 Ryan Armentrout ‏@ryaninco [^168.18] https://twitter.com/ryaninco/status/264233647257812992 Bio: Traveling the U.S. like a gypsy, only I take a shower daily. Instagram Ryaninco. Location: I get around · http://favstar.fm/users/ryaninco - 22,000 tweets. 5,016 following. 13,127 followers.

tweeting!!!!

wow!!

2:38 a.m. central time on a Saturday morning, 12 January 2013 Amber Eeeeeee ‏@rare_basement [^168.19] https://twitter.com/rare_basement/status/290014836476231680 Tweeted from Metairie, LA. Her bio: creator of NOTHING, writer at NOWHERE. Location: New Orleans · http://favstar.fm/users/rare_basement - 59,473 tweets. 2,529 following. 26,187 followers.

Twitter: We Do This All Day

8 June 2013 Rawr ‏@FknVancouver [^168.20] https://twitter.com/FknVancouver/status/343525213985705984 Twitter bio and stats on 9 June 2013: Clean, polite and STD free! Tweets do not represent reality. Catfish. Location: Vancouver BC. 9,248 tweets. 939 following. 2,763 followers.

Gosh, look at the time!

5 October 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^168.21] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/254120161123119104 His bio and stats the next day: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,477 tweets. 3,154 following. 9,233 followers.

@nerdamage then averaged 21 tweets per day over the next 15 days:

Only two more hours and I can leave the internet behind forever until I get home.

20 October 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^168.22] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/259748955326394368 His bio: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,814 tweets. 3,101 following. 9,463 followers.

uncapped internet at home let's go yes ja!

31 January 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^168.23] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/297013268134912000 Her bio and stats on 1 February 2013: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 12,366 tweets. 1,884 following. 1,930 followers.

wow I'm sooooo internetty.

16 April 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^168.24] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/324182119561707521 Her bio and stats on 17 April 2013: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 15,262 tweets. 2,179 following. 2,216 followers.

I can not wait to rush home and do this in another setting.

20 October 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^168.25] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/259755230873395201 Bio: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage \- 13,814 tweets. 3,101 following. 9,463 followers.

You have to tweet that one about Twitter being addictive.

26 May 2013 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^168.26] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/338879081284239363 Bio: I tweet so you don't have to. soundcloud.com/nerdamage-1/warning - 18,113 tweets. 3,469 following. 12,676 followers.

My internet addiction is getting alt of ctrl

27 October 2012 UHH ‏@cervixsmash [^168.27] https://twitter.com/cervixsmash/status/262336912927367168 Stats on 14 November 2012: Sydney, Australia · http://favstar.fm/users/cervixsmash - 3,655 tweets. 1,991 following. 2,274 followers.

Not doing anything with my life is surprisingly time consuming.

2 May 2011 Miss Fuckalicious @PyrBliss [^168.28] https://twitter.com/#!/PyrBliss/status/65202110358228992 Her bio and stats on 7 November 2012: Swearing on Twitter is my anti-drug. Come for the cuteness, stay for the rage. I say FUCK! a lot. Location: In your pocket · http://favstar.fm/users/PyrBliss - 2,916 tweets. 838 following. 26,747 followers.

It's "just" twitter, until you realize you can't remember what you've done for the last 6 months.

17 September 2012 It's Jazmine Bitch! ‏@Jazzzzzmina [^168.29] https://twitter.com/Jazzzzzmina/status/247690085439516673 Her screen name, bio and stats on 18 March 2013: Brunette Bombshell @Jazzzzzmina - LA face with an Oakland booty... I don't make a move without my BFF @weissbrandon, cuz that's how we roll. http://Favstar.fm/users/Jazzzzzmina/recent - 4,287 tweets. 1,868 following. 16,561 followers.

A year on twitter... I remember when all this was fields.

9 February 2012 The Boy Wondering ‏@Robski_Boy [^168.30] https://twitter.com/Robski_Boy/status/167640168700973056 His bio and stats on 6 November 2012: Let's all have a nice cup of tea. Location: Englandshire · http://favstar.fm/users/Robski_Boy/recent \- 7,340 tweets. 7,127 following. 7,019 followers.

I'm getting this weird déjà vu like I've been doing this same thing every night for the past year.

26 September 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^168.31] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/250879610261233664 His bio: I tweet so you don't have to. 13,169 tweets. 3,133 following. 9,023 followers.

**Twitter needs** _before_ **and** _after_ **pics like those "I used to be pretty" meth billboards.**

28 August 2012 Lone_Star ‏@Carter_TCB [^168.32] https://twitter.com/Carter_TCB/status/240604865636741120 His bio: Slacker. 9,623 tweets. 4,678 following. 5,083 followers. Italics added.

Why am I drooling while awake

8 June 2013 Corey G. @CoreyNotKori [^168.33] https://twitter.com/CoreyNotKori/status/343562788985270272 Her Twitter bio and stats on 13 July 2013: I sold a baby for funnel cake once. Location: The Middlest of the Midwest · favstar.fm/users/coreynotkori - 6,691 tweets. 463 following. 1,620 followers.

Twitter is for people whose brains can't sit still.

20 September 2012 H0TMessBarbie ‏@H0TMessBarbie [^168.34] https://twitter.com/H0TMessBarbie/status/248954729701449728 Her bio and stats on 18 March 2013: Feel lucky punk? Sweets you couldnt ignore me if you tried. SessionMusician, MartialArts, FeloniousTexter, VikingTamer, #starwars, @rovingvagabond's PrincessMonster. Location: The center of the universe · http://www.YouTube.com/LivingDedGrrl - 78,150 tweets. 2,063 following. 10,553 followers. One space has been added after each of the commas in her bio above.

Imagine if I only tweeted one tweet a day, my brain would explode.

5 September 2012 Shael ‏@5hael [^168.35] https://twitter.com/5hael/status/243566799793303552 His bio and stats on 15 March 2013: views are either of your employer or stolen, from inside your brain. 5th of july 2013 tweetup in brisbane http://twtvite.com/tweetvegas #tweetvegas – Location: Brisbane, Australia · http://favstar.fm/users/5hael/recent - 22,337 tweets. 1,588 following. 6,982 followers.

Maybe I don't over share. Maybe everyone else just under shares. CHRIST I have to pee.

23 June 2013 Corey G. @CoreyNotKori [^168.36] https://twitter.com/CoreyNotKori/status/349022323229212672 Her Twitter bio and stats on 13 July 2013: I sold a baby for funnel cake once. Location: The Middlest of the Midwest · favstar.fm/users/coreynotkori - 6,691 tweets. 463 following. 1,620 followers.

I hope the light at the end of the tunnel is a computer screen.

15 January 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^168.37] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/290733700692443137 Her bio and stats on 1 February 2013: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 12,366 tweets. 1,884 following. 1,930 followers.

*gazes into television*

it's not the same

3 November 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^168.38] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/397131280225013760 Twitter bio and stats on 21 November 2013 of this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 16,371 tweets. 726 following. 27,435 followers.

_"INTERNET!!!!"_ **—all of us right now**

21 August 2012 Mae ‏@mzeld [^168.39] https://twitter.com/mzeld/status/238165397050884096 Her bio and stats on 12 November 2012: LET'S DO TWEETS OFF EACH OTHER'S BUTTS http://www.internet.com - 16,846 tweets. 698 following. 21,805 followers. Italics added.

I binge tweet.

27 April 2012 Tink ‏@Tinkerbell_ [^168.40] https://twitter.com/#!/Tinkerbell_/status/195996006863749120 Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 6 May 2013: TinkAlmighty, eh! @Tinkerbell_ I like long walks in the country. Dressing up, and down. Good sense of humour. Never put out on the first date, well apart from that one time. http://favstar.fm/users/tinkerbell_/recent - 16,270 tweets. 975 following. 9,691 followers.

**My only goal left is to become a** _functioning_ **twitteroholic.**

24 July 2012 PrincessCandyEmpire ‏@llvvzz - https://twitter.com/llvvzz/status/227918790531366912 Her bio and stats on 20 December 2012: I am not your perception of me. I control your perception of me. http://facebook.com/llvvzzz @llvvzzz for #FF Check out Tweet~Mates! at http://llvvzz.com - I Own A Chihuahua · http://favstar.fm/users/llvvzz - 1,985 tweets. 83,157 following. 83,737 followers. Italics added. Indexed under her alternate ID: @lvvzz [^168.41].

My name is Passant and I can reverse ANY sentence and make it sound dirty ANY sentence what's your super power ?

23 August 2012 Caffeinated Passant. ‏@AKickassHandle [^168.42] https://twitter.com/AKickassHandle/status/238750564161314816 She was in Egypt. Her screen name, bio and stats on 19 February 2013: Caffeinatedical Mess - Everything in my life is black starting from coffee and ending by sarcasm.انت عاقل بجنانك و هما مجانين بعقلهم. .Bilingual تويتس.Ibrahim, Passant Ibrahim. انا مش من شرم \- 58,575 tweets. 185 following. 9,898 followers.

Reply:

@akickasshandle **My name is Esraa and I can eat and tweet at the same time.**

23 August 2012 Esraa Mamdouh ‏@EsraaMamdu7 [^168.43] https://twitter.com/EsraaMamdu7/status/238755315380805633 Her bio and stats the next day: Scorpio. Make me laugh and I'm all yours. Trying to be something in someone's life and you should do the same. I don't need a prince charming for a happy ending. Location: Egypt – Giza. 9,557 tweets. 110 following. 283 followers.

My superpower is being dead inside.

11 January 2013 Vaibhav ‏@pragmatistic [^168.44] https://twitter.com/pragmatistic/status/289829785667006464 Her bio and stats on 12 January 2013: I don't stalk. I investigate. Location: New Delhi, India · favstar.fm/users/pragmatistic - 36,056 tweets. 2,535 following. 3,783 followers.

Just bought a waterproof iPad case for tweeting while showering. Or snorkeling if that sounds less pathetic.

29 March 2012 Caved Inwards ‏@CavedInwards [^168.45] https://twitter.com/CavedInwards/status/185584302388543488 Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 14 December 2013: Andrew Clinton @CavedInwards - Back from a really long twitter hiatus. Maybe. Philosopher metafuckery, space explorer, and over it all. 5,089 tweets. 852 following. 1,898 followers.

Tweeting from the shower. This is bad.

2 June 2012 Sarah R ‏@SarahR_82 [^168.46] https://twitter.com/SarahR_82/status/208949408589557760 Bio: 29 yrs old, went to college, chooses to b a waitress, 97.5% of tweets r mine, and mom, if ur reading this, please dont follow me.... Location: So IL. 250 following, 156 followers. Her bio and stats on 6 May 2013: 30. Waitress. I like beer. I tweet RL and bullshit. Appropriately inappropriate. sarahr_82 on Instagram – Location: Southern IL · http://favstar.fm/users/SarahR_82 - 20,644 tweets. 5,678 following. 5,897 followers. Her bio and stats on 27 January 2014: A RL girl. Occasionally hilarious. I like beer. Instagram: sarahr_82 – Location: Southern IL · favstar.fm/users/SarahR_82 – 25,127 tweets. 7,524 following. 7,753 followers.

I no longer call it the "shower." It is now, the "tweet generator."

9 June 2012 Alene Parr ‏@aleneparr [^168.47] https://twitter.com/aleneparr/status/211655610293432320 Her bio and stats on 27 November 2012: Psychology Student. Sweatervest Enthusiast. Professional Cynic. Cheese Connoisseur. This is stuff I think about. http://favstar.fm/users/aleneparr - Location: Ontario · http://alenetalks.blogspot.ca/ - 6,830 tweets. 4,513 following. 7,090 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 12 August 2013: I couldn't quit Twitter. Location: Ontario · alenetalks.blogspot.ca. 8,957 tweets. 2,338 following. 6,744 followers. Underlining added.

It's only a matter of time before they find us here...

16 May 2012 Ted Kaczynski ‏@The_Separatist_ [^168.48] https://twitter.com/#!/The_Separatist_/status/202789487892373505 His bio and stats on 6 November 2012: NO SOLICITING! @TrailOfSlime leads to everywhere... Instagram: mordecaiambugaton http://audioboo.fm/mordecaiambugaton Location: A place that time forgot... · http://favstar.fm/users/The_Separatist_ - 58,306 tweets. 505 following. 4,445 followers. The real Ted Kaczynski is the Unabomber. His name is used as a parody.

I've listened to a lot of good movies since I started tweeting.

24 June 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^168.49] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/217084902217224193 His bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,477 tweets. 3,154 following. 9,233 followers.

I have everything left to say. Don't go.

9 June 2012 Nina ‏@ninaundercovers [^168.50] https://twitter.com/ninaundercovers/status/211540461305868288

Bio: Brand new here, but already addicted. I'm watching you. No, I'm not, I'm probably napping. – 172 tweets, 1,241 following, 532 followers. Twitter bio and stats on 18 July 2013: I'm probably napping. favstar.fm/users/ninaundercovers - 343 tweets. 891 following. 632 followers. Her most recent tweet on 18 July 2013 was dated 31 January 2013.

Come light your tweet with mine.

26 September 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^168.51] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/250907589053906944 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,223 tweets. 1,918 following. 1,773 followers.

A chain smoker uses the end of one cigarette to light their next one.

Cell phones are the next cigarettes.

6 October 2012 Junkyardigan ‏@junkyardigan [^168.52] https://twitter.com/junkyardigan/status/254781157474967552 His bio and stats on 13 November 2012: I'm just a guy. Not that guy. The other guy. Over there. In the back. Hi. 3,345 tweets. 1,719 following. 2,233 followers.

@jowyang **as smartphones are the new cigarettes, smartphone breaks are coming** ;-)

20 March 2013 Paul Papadimitriou ‏@papadimitriou [^168.53] https://twitter.com/papadimitriou/status/314353362374107136 His bio: Catch me if you can. Location: Seat 1A · http://paulpapadimitriou.com - 28,436 tweets. 730 following. 5,752 followers.

People ask me how I find the time to tweet all day. That's it. That's my story. People ask me that.

12 October 2012 Carbosly ‏@Carbosly [^168.54] https://twitter.com/Carbosly/status/256735085448024066 Bio: I'm a mom, I'm a wife, I'm a hoot. I advertise by day & make cakes by night. Ask your dad if you can follow me. He does. http://favstar.fm/users/Carbosly Location: Canada. 7,260 tweets. 4,752 following. 9,448 followers.

I've been on twitter for about 16 hours today, and sorry to say, quite a few of you seem to suffer from twitter addiction.

23 December 2011 Michael B Inlaoninni ‏@mikeinla09 [^168.55] https://twitter.com/mikeinla09/status/150126540057874432 His bio and stats on 16 November 2012: Equus africanus asinus. http://concerning-z.tumblr.com/ Location: Los Angeles · http://favstar.fm/users/mikeinla09/recent - 26,063 tweets. 2,096 following. 1,918 followers.

Haha remembering my early days on twitter when I wondered what the fuck was wrong with you guys and why none of you got enough sleep haha

28 July 2012 skullcat ‏@skullcat [^168.56] https://twitter.com/skullcat/status/229117188466933760 Her bio and stats on 13 January 2013, when her most recent tweet was dated 14 October 2012: Using sarcasm as a natural defense against companionship, and alcohol as artificial protection from sobriety. Mom to teen, designer to graphics. Location: Vancouver · http://favstar.fm/users/skullcat - 29,183 tweets. 6,736 following. 8,289 followers.

Van Gogh wrote over 800 letters during his life.

**The medical term for a compulsion to write is** hypergraphia **.**

#VincentVanGogh

13 August 2012 Anshika Ganju ‏@ganjuanshika [^168.57] https://twitter.com/ganjuanshika/status/234933213041160193 Emphasis added. Her bio: A walking contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction. Location: Delhi. 2,374 tweets. 70 following. 104 followers. Underlining added.

Can you get Internet elbow 'cause I definitely have that.

14 October 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^168.58] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/257480266073899008 Bio: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 8,547 tweets. 1,635 following. 1,313 followers.

If you're more addicted than I am, that's just taking things too far.

9 October 2012 Rameeza Nizami ‏@RameezaNizami [^168.59] https://twitter.com/RameezaNizami/status/255913246786207744 Her bio: Unauthorized, unofficial, etc etc. This isn't even me, really. Location: In an office, most of the time. 4,746 tweets. 863 following. 2,940 followers.

less than 300 tweets until the legendary 69,420

18 August 2012 acid_dolphin.rad ‏@laaBLONDEEBBY [^168.60] https://twitter.com/laablondeebby/status/237068937664294912 Bio: dolphin 3:16 says don't feed the dolphins. 69,130 tweets. 111 following. 3,634 followers. Underlining added. No account with this ID found on 28 May 2013.

**Just read an article** , **saying the average person tweets** , **5 times a day.**

Hahahahahahahaha

Ok, I feel better now.

29 August 2012 ~CINDY~ ‏@CindyMeakin [^168.61] https://twitter.com/CindyMeakin/status/240710489578033152 Location: Halifax, Canada. 9,509 tweets. 1,814 following. 2,597 followers. Italics added.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  169. Making friends and falling in love in cyberspace

microblogging as sublimation

5 April 2013 https://identi.ca/notice/100500062 - https://twitter.com/aem76us/status/320275663426813952 Inspired by bllix:

Gmail as sublimation.

4 April 2013 bllix, the tinier ‏@tinybllix - https://twitter.com/tinybllix/status/320055243436085248 Her bio: Yes, I'm @bllix. No, I'm not a bot. Yes, I'm @loudbllix. No, I'm not schizophrenic. Yes, I'm real. No, I'm not a dude. Yes, I'm taken. No, not with Instagram. Location: Portland, OR. · http://www.twitter.com/bllix - 3,894 tweets. 205 following. 1,368 followers. The same author posts as @bllix [^169.1], @tinybllix, @loudbllix and @bllixodus.

Sublimation is the transition of a substance from a solid to gas, without the substance undergoing an intermediate liquid phase. Dry ice (solid carbon dioxide) sublimes readily if left out in the open at normal room temperature.

Psychologically, sublimation is the channeling of unwanted feelings into socially acceptable forms of expression. In the Freudian sense, sublimation refers to the channeling of sexual energy and sexual impulses into other activities, most notably creative ones.

if you're willing to be seen in public with me even after all the tweets you've read, then I know you're a keeper.

16 February 2012 Ms Mayhem ‏@crassmama [^169.2] https://twitter.com/crassmama/status/170134536695451648 Her Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 20 June 2013: Meaghan Mayhem @crassmama - She's a dove, she's a fuckin' nightmare. writer. biter. lover. fighter. Location: Minnesootah. · favstar.fm/users/crassmama - 30,998 tweets. 1,854 following. 6,616 followers.

You shouldn't date someone that doesn't get your twitter humor.

5 July 2013 Classy Cassy ‏@Classy_Cassy89 [^169.3] https://twitter.com/Classy_Cassy89/status/221098812385669123 Twitter bio and stats on 30 July 2013: Life and times of a 41 year old single woman with a cat...got a dog too. If you don't care about the people behind the keyboard, don't waste my time. http://favstar.fm/users/classy_cassy89/recent - 77,778 tweets. 17,659 following. 24,489 followers.

*2012 date*

Him: So what's your hobby?

Me: I tweet!

Him: I meant your "outdoors hobby"?

Me: Oh, my outdoors hobby is going back inside to tweet!

2 January 2012 Ella Capparella ‏@RamblingMachine [^169.4] https://twitter.com/ramblingmachine/status/153892406276788224 One space was added after each of the colons above. Her bio and stats on 25 April 2013: Extraterrestrial carbon-based unit planted on Earth to outsmart you. First Jupiterian miss universe. I can teleport, talk to aliens & twinkle like a little star. Location: Red Spot, Jupiter. · http://favstar.fm/users/RamblingMachine - 25,983 tweets. 7,191 following. 11,361 followers. On 20 April 2013 she posted a twittercide note: http://crossingthevoid.tumblr.com/post/48467799778/goodbye-forever-beautiful-tweeps

Goodbye cruel world *Goes inside house*

9 July 2012 SEAN ‏@SRbeta [^169.5] https://twitter.com/srbeta/status/222491628223475713 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: Clams were not a delicacy at the time, but of a poor mans diet. http://mrbagel.tumblr.com - 28,884 tweets. 439 following. 2,274 followers.

Stop talking to me! I only want to be your friend if you can fit inside my phone.

14 October 2011 KBC ‏@k_beec [^169.6] https://twitter.com/k_beec/status/124863591680712704 Her bio and stats on 11 October 2013: I like to watch. Location: San Juan, Puerto Rico · favstar.fm/users/k_beec - 13,577 tweets. 2,532 following. 3,264 followers.

I can't see you tonight because I have to work on my relationship with the silent, invisible people living in my laptop. Raincheck?

24 September 2011 Linda ‏@piplips [^169.7] https://twitter.com/#!/piplips/status/117554286044512257 Her bio and stats on 26 March 2013; Best friend is Pippa my Yorkie. Soulmate ditto. Companion ditto. Confidant ditto. Pippa likes people. I don't. Location: Johannesburg · http://favstar.fm/users/piplips/recent - 29,683 tweets. 4,903 following. 4,949 followers.

I miss people I've never met, all the time.

10 October 2011 Justina ‏@JEllis1313 [^169.8] https://twitter.com/JEllis1313/status/123578843591213056 Bio and stats on 8 March 2014: All dressed up with some medicine for luck. BlackRock. Location: 'Cuse, NY · http://favstar.fm/users/JEllis1313 - 40,919 tweets. 3,359 following. 3,580 followers.

No, you aren't alone. You've gone and made this place home.

8 December 2012 Crazy Girl @1knotwhole [^169.9] https://twitter.com/1knotwhole/status/278002766830514178 Her bio and stats on 16 December 2012: I Started out Collecting Sticks, Now I'm Into Stones I Could tell you Things about your Anatomy maybe You've Never Really Known. Location: InSideMyMind. 15,536 tweets. 1,845 following. 6,057 followers. Her @username begins with the number one.

This is my Twitter. You just live in it.

13 June 2012 Rey ‏@HecatePanGddss [^169.10] https://twitter.com/hecatepangddss/status/213033783975346178 Bio and stats on 17 February 2013: Don't bother asking me. You'll decide for yourself. Location: The Infinite Universe. 26,004 tweets. 336 following. 3,227 followers.

If this girl was anymore awkward she'd be on twitter!

8 July 2011 Justina ‏@JEllis1313 [^169.11] https://twitter.com/JEllis1313/status/89448968676839424 Bio and stats on 8 March 2014: All dressed up with some medicine for luck. BlackRock. Location: 'Cuse, NY · http://favstar.fm/users/JEllis1313 \- 40,919 tweets. 3,359 following. 3,580 followers.

If there's one thing that Twitter has taught me its that all the weird kids in school eventually find each other.

7 July 2012 thatlittlekitnerboy ‏@littlekitnerboy [^169.12] https://twitter.com/littlekitnerboy/status/221773584018837507 His bio and stats on 8 November 2012: Giving Twitter over 1000 posts of nothing. Twitter BFF is @Bax_Doll. Instagram & KiK thatlittlekitnerboy http://audioboo.fm/littlekitnerboy Location: Seattleish....Boo! · http://Favstar.fm/users/littlekitnerboy - 5,181 tweets. 1,774 following. 1,843 followers.

staying closer to friends from the first four years of twitter than those from college

14 October 2013 Adam Rothstein ‏@Interdome [^169.13] https://twitter.com/Interdome/status/389936289677443072 Bio: the ease of repetitive motion, the orgasmic cries of habit, the pattern dance of charged particles, our shared interest in static. Location: iPhone: 0.000000,0.000000 · poszu.com - 17,823 tweets. 208 following. 1,344 followers.

Then:

(granted, I did marry someone from college and you can only really do that once)

14 October 2013 Adam Rothstein ‏@Interdome [^169.14] https://twitter.com/Interdome/status/389937107948433408 Bio: the ease of repetitive motion, the orgasmic cries of habit, the pattern dance of charged particles, our shared interest in static. Location: iPhone: 0.000000,0.000000 · poszu.com - 17,823 tweets. 208 following. 1,344 followers.

@Interdome's first tweet, dated 7 November 2008, made this account older than 65% of other Twitter accounts on 14 October 2013.

Twitter is like life... people rush to be your friend... then slowly drift away... but a few are always there for you... no matter what you say.

12 March 2014 Rock God ‏@redpawn3 [^169.15] https://twitter.com/redpawn3/status/443926361334222848 Bio: favstar.fm/users/redpawn3/recent - 97,602 tweets. 4,677 following. 6,912 followers.

One day this will all end & you'll regret not making the effort to get to know people.

DM someone you've never interacted with.

Do it now.

2 July 2012 Jessica4real ‏@Schmoodles [^169.16] https://twitter.com/Schmoodles/status/219896949380362243 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers. Note the use of an alternate screen name.

You guys make me feel less alone.

2 July 2012 Veronica ‏@RoniGrace - https://twitter.com/RoniGrace/status/219845287630471168 Bio and stats on 7 July 2012: I've started an empire; it may or may not be evil. I write stories. Some of them are erotic. 39,974 tweets. 1,366 following. 4,261 followers. Twittercided and returned on 17 July 2012 as Veronica Grace ‏@ronigrace [^169.17]. On 7 August 2013 her second account (@ronigrace) was found to have been abandoned and the ID taken over by someone else.

YOU are the reason I log on everyday

17 July 2012 loobie ‏@louiemc33 - https://twitter.com/louiemc33/status/225326484447965184 Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 14 December 2013: NutTy wife @loolabelll [^169.18] fucked up sense of humour ,always in trouble. Oops but is so much fun. p.s. what the hell ! Living life one beer at a time.☺- Location: Nuttyland. 19,069 tweets. 1,244 following. 1,127 followers. The last three characters in @loolabelll are lowercase Ls.

Twitter: It's hard to believe that you can be so close to people that are so far away.

6 June 2012 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^169.19] https://twitter.com/schmoodles/status/210475384108613633 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

I have deep and meaningful internet connections with people.

6 November 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^169.20] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/265775180553519105 Her bio: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 9,816 tweets. 1,963 following. 1,680 followers.

All I fucking know is I've never loved a group of hypothetical people more than you guys.

22 June 2012 Lara (not Laura) ‏@Lilbyrdy [^169.21] https://twitter.com/Lilbyrdy/status/216377217045889025 Her bio and stats on 16 May 2013: YAYS: Music,FUNNY folks,intelligent bullshit NAYS: racists,idiots, pedophiles,mayo.Girly tomboy,sometimes witty,inappropriate, crass,drunk.Im pretty fkin cool. Location: *ATX* Sarcasm St. · http://favstar.fm/users/lilbyrdy/recent - 23,289 tweets. 2,573 following. 6,015 followers.

Why haven't you guys told your parents about me yet? Is this a game to you?

3 September 2012 Chelsea Elle ‏@Chelsea_Elle [^169.22] https://twitter.com/Chelsea_Elle/status/242830826801332224 Thought leader in the international porcelain doll lifestyle community. Location: Phoenix. 2,658 tweets. 274 following. 2,287 followers. Her bio and stats on 15 December 2012: Writer, editor, and charismatic cult leader at Our Lady of Perpetual Mountain Biking. Location: Westside · http://favstar.fm/users/Chelsea_Elle - 2,848 tweets. 302 following. 3,290 followers.

Just changed my relationship status to "On Twitter"

20 July 2012 BB Cory ‏@BBCory [^169.23] https://twitter.com/BBCory/status/226469078439690240 Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 14 December 2013: J'Cory @BBCory - #JChrory for life – Location: New Jersey · ativanguy.tumblr.com

\- 15,986 tweets. 1,070 following. 639 followers.

My typical day on Twitter.

1) Star and RT.

2) Post lame tweet.

3) Consider Twittercide.

4) Fall in love for 5 minutes.

5) Consider Twittercide

2 August 2012 Sergiodayze ‏@SergioValenCo [^169.24] https://twitter.com/sergiovalenco/status/231024528195727361 His bio and stats on 9 January 2013: Sometimes I'm insightful and witty; then I wake up. Inspirational asshole. Location: In a Cage · http://favstar.fm/users/SergioValenCo/recent - 13,981 tweets. 6,628 following. 9,810 followers. An additional space was added after both 3) and 5) above.

Follow new person

Star

Retweet

Tell universe how much you LOVE them

DM exchange

Pity stars

Hate each other

Die

7 March 2012 GoldieLox ‏@_GoldieLox [^169.25] https://twitter.com/_goldielox/status/177508746384252928 On 14 December 2013 this tweet was found to have been deleted and the account appeared to have experienced a change of control. The screen name, bio and stats on 14 December 2013: Macy Jahoda™ @_GoldieLox - Never Duplicated ~ .good luck trying though #POW OVOXO ✘♥. Team Breezy ♥ 'Brain Washed'. I Keep This #3Hunna ! .Slashy;* . #ColeWorld .Cali ♥ #Flush ! Genius. twitter.com/supreme_gyal - 388 tweets. 510 following. 128 followers The first tweet from the revived account, as found on 14 December 2013, was dated 31 July 2012.

You get here, and at first you're like: "Twitter Crush?! What a preposterous notion! Idiots. Hahaha!" A few weeks later and... Oh.

19 July 2012 Naghmeh ‏@dgphotos [^169.26] https://twitter.com/dgphotos/status/226151954554949632 Her bio and stats on 9 January 2013: Will work for poutine http://favstar.fm/users/dgphotos/recent - Location: Ontari-ari-ari-o · http://favstar.fm/users/dgphotos - 10,022 tweets. 5,706 following. 6,172 followers.

Twitter crush, turns into Twitter friendship, turns into Twitter love... and then what? No seriously, AND THEN WHAT people??

2 August 2012 Naghmeh ‏@dgphotos [^169.27] https://twitter.com/dgphotos/status/231022047977930752 Her bio: Will work for poutine. Location: Ontari-ari-ari-o 4,858 tweets. 3,406 following. 3,514 followers. Her stats on 9 January 2013: 10,022 tweets. 5,706 following. 6,172 followers.

There's nothing wrong with falling in love with strangers on the internet as long as you know that it will probably last forever.

11 February 2013 christine ‏@thesupergrobi [^169.28] https://twitter.com/thesupergrobi/status/301074787227283456 Her bio and stats on 14 February 2013: Ich bin eine Lady. Location: all those old fashioned places · http://favstar.fm/users/thesupergrobi \- 7,809 tweets. 652 following. 5,261 followers.

**I fell in love with** _something_ **on twitter.**

12 September 2012 Classy Cassy ‏@Classy_Cassy89 [^169.29] https://twitter.com/Classy_Cassy89/status/246130013496279040 Bio: Life and times of a 40 year old single woman with a cat...got a dog too. 26,360 tweets. 5,757 following. 8,759 followers. Italics added to the tweet and underlining to the biography.

I wish twitter had some kind of web chart indicating who belongs to who so I don't develop any crushes that are destined to crush me.

9 March 2012 J ‏@Lipgloss_Nerd [^169.30] https://twitter.com/lipgloss_nerd/status/178380096850247680 Her screen name, bio and stats on 4 March 2013: That Horrible Girl - @UluwatuSiap and I are no longer here. Perhaps we never really were. Unfollow guilt free. Location: Island of Delusions. 1,528 tweets. 628 following. 6,430 followers. Bio and stats on 4 March 2013 of That Rude Cunt @UluwatuSiap - @Lipgloss_Nerd and I are no longer here. Perhaps we never really were. Unfollow guilt free. Location: Island of Delusions. 2,350 tweets. 737 following. 9,441 followers. The last tweets from both accounts were dated 9 December 2012.

stop falling in love on the internet, you fucking moron. -everyone who hasn't fallen in love on the internet. yet.

8 June 2012 Sweet P ‏@preawsaurus [^169.31] https://twitter.com/preawsaurus/status/211281705896644609 Her bio and stats on 8 November 2012: i am nice. at least that's the way i perceive myself. i could be wrong. Location: Tellus · http://favstar.fm/users/preawsaurus/most_retweeted - 12,197 tweets. 910 following. 8,090 followers.

Because one day I'll find a man that makes me want to put my phone down.

26 June 2012 Jazzmatazz ‏@Jazzzzzmina [^169.32] https://twitter.com/Jazzzzzmina/status/217649306256146432 Her screen name, bio and stats on 18 March 2013: Brunette Bombshell @Jazzzzzmina - LA face with an Oakland booty... I don't make a move without my BFF @weissbrandon, cuz that's how we roll. http://Favstar.fm/users/Jazzzzzmina/recent - 4,287 tweets. 1,868 following. 16,561 followers.

Hope you guys know that this boyfriend of mine I'm always tweeting about is imaginary. Don't want to ruin my chances with some of you.

16 October 2011 Annie Troy @Killerdolce [^169.33] https://twitter.com/#!/Killerdolce/status/125682112287358976 Her Twitter bio and stats on 29 July 2013, when this tweet was found to have been deleted: As long as the world offers itself to words, we will have a world to write. Location: Fortress of Solitude · imperfectly-yours.tumblr.com - 587 tweets. 2,468 following. 5,995 followers.

I'm totally cheating on my real life with my internet life and my real life is threatening to leave me.

6 July 2012 llvvzz ‏@lvvzz [^169.34] https://twitter.com/lvvzz/status/221378275421863936 Her screen name, ID, bio and stats on 13 December 2012: PrincessCandyEmpire3 @lvvzz. I am not your perception of me. I control your perception of me. http://facebook.com/llvvzzz See @llvvzzz for #FF Tweet~Mates! http://llvvzz.com Tweets @llvvzz. Location: I Own A Chihuahua · http://favstar.fm/users/lvvzz - 208 tweets. 3,878 following. 3,945 followers.

Where the fuck are the relationship settings on here?!

31 October 2012 Mack ‏@ratamack [^169.35] https://twitter.com/ratamack/status/263877568447512577 Facebook allowed users to display their relationship status at the time. His Twitter bio and stats on 14 December 2013: Location: Alaska · favstar.fm/users/ratamack/ - 5,032 tweets. 1,171 following. 1,757 followers. On 14 December 2013 this tweet was found to have been deleted.

Twitter is considering adding relationship statuses,

such as "Forever alone",

"Crying with cookie dough",

and "Chained in a basement".

19 February 2012 Kelkulus ‏@kelkulus [^169.36] https://twitter.com/#!/kelkulus/status/171316208862375937 His bio and stats on 22 March 2013: I'm starting to regret dumping Adele. Visual nonsense on Instagram & Facebook. http://favstar.fm/users/kelkulus - Location: Washington DC via Toronto · http://www.facebook.com/kelkulus - 4,879 tweets. 1,244 following. 34,887 followers.

Shari VanderWerf changed her relationship status to parasitic.

25 July 2012 Shari Vanderwerf ‏@shariv67 [^169.37] https://twitter.com/shariv67/status/228334208286855168 Her bio and stats on 27 October 2012: My work has appeared on Comedy Central, Cartoon Network, VH1, E!, film festivals and major publications. Comedian & Writer · http://www.sharivanderwerf.com - 11,392 tweets. 3,551 following. 24,593 followers.

I'll wouldn't be surprised if my mum starts leaving food on a tray at my door.

26 November 2012 Malak Mansour ‏@xMalakMansourx [^169.38] https://twitter.com/xMalakMansourx/status/273082917297721344 Her bio and stats the next day: A fictional character created by your perception. 3,255 tweets. 280 following. 503 followers. In Cairo.

Four minutes later:

Im one cat away from an asylum.

26 November 2012 Malak Mansour ‏@xMalakMansourx [^169.39] https://twitter.com/xMalakMansourx/status/273083922806628352 Her bio and stats the next day: A fictional character created by your perception. 3,255 tweets. 280 following. 503 followers.

A week earlier:

Just posted a photo http://instagr.am/p/SLXub3RQR1/

18 November 2012 Malak Mansour ‏@xMalakMansourx [^169.40] https://twitter.com/xMalakMansourx/status/270204241304514560 Her mobile phone had a 12 megapixel camera, which was huge for cell-phone cameras at the time.

The photograph that Malak Mansour posted was a portrait-style picture of a cat. She posted the photo on Instagram after treating it with an antique filter. The background hinted at an elegant sitting room with antique décor.

This place is an incubator for crazy cat ladies.

26 January 2013 GovtTookMaBaby ‏@just_evolved [^169.41] https://twitter.com/just_evolved/status/295238983703740416 Bio: I used to yell out of open windows, now I do this. http://favstar.fm/users/just_evolved/recent - Location: Canada · http://favstar.fm/users/just_evolved - 4,975 tweets. 2,565 following. 3,640 followers.

This place incubates more than just cat ladies:

I prefer the term "cat gentleman"

13 November 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^169.42] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/400869968629088256 Twitter bio and stats on 21 November 2013 of this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 16,371 tweets. 726 following. 27,435 followers.

Well my RL has turned to shit but my twitter life is full of glitterly hope.

30 January 2012 Idontgiva McFuck ‏@Crazedcrazy - https://twitter.com/Crazedcrazy/status/164125944091656193 Twitter screen name, ID bio and stats on 29 August 2013: CertifiablySane @CertifiablySane [^169.43] Kindness is contagious. Location: New York City · http://favstar.fm/users/CertifiablySane - 12,672 tweets. 3,554 following. 3,881 followers.

All the lonely people

Where do they all come from?

All the lonely people

Where do they all belong?

& now we know.

Someone tell The Beatles.

6 July 2012 ShoutingGoddess ‏@ShoutingGoddess [^169.44] https://twitter.com/shoutinggoddess/status/221375256097599494 Her bio and stats on 5 November 2012: Don't read this shit. Go read a book. 101,615 tweets. 2,305 following. 16,629 followers.

Sick of being mired in Internet mediocrity?

I can help!

With my simple plan,

I'll teach you how to get a life!

Dial 1-888-FRNDS4U!

Call now!

24 May 2012 Unicorn Glitter Tits ‏@uniglittertits [^169.45] https://twitter.com/uniglittertits/status/205743407082123266 Her bio and stats on 5 May 2013: Bio is short for biology. Location: Texas America · theimpersonals.com - 6,739 tweets. 815 following. 9,644 followers.

I wish I was like twitter and could blame my inability to connect on 'overcapacity.'

9 August 2012 braden graeber ‏@hipstermermaid [^169.46] https://twitter.com/hipstermermaid/status/233737882400092160 His bio and stats on 25 April 2013: Braden Graeber makes, writes and overthinks things. Location: Los Angeles · http://blog.bradengraeber.com - 4,552 tweets. 395 following. 142,036 followers.

Overcapacity refers to outages attributed to too many people attempting to access Twitter at the same time.

I appreciate failed conversations.

16 November 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^169.47] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/269396439300456448 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,223 tweets. 1,918 following. 1,773 followers.

Twitter is a great way to connect with people who are unable to connect with people.

19 July 2012 Nick Stadler ‏@NickadooLA [^169.48] https://twitter.com/nickadoola/status/226168942232756224 His Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 20 May 2013: Nick Stadler @Nickadoo [^] Gay, cartoonist & graphic designer, releasing my bad thoughts via Tweet since 2010. It's therapeutic. Location: Echo Park, CA · favstar.fm/users/Nickadoo - 8,933 tweets. 639 following. 24,615 followers.

the fact that I own a twitter account explains why my fat ginger housemate is getting laid tonight and I'm not.

11 February 2012 NyLow ‏@NyLow9 [^169.49] https://twitter.com/#!/NyLow9/status/168420460130877440 Her bio and stats on 22 March 2013: Zimbabwean, weirdo, swimmer, artist, student, owner of a 3-legged dog, professional procrastinatorian, poor as shit. Location: UK · http://favstar.fm/users/NyLow9/recent \- 3,290 tweets. 1,397 following. 682 followers.

Last time I had sex was at the end of February.

The end of February just so happens to be when I started to be on Twitter.

Connect.The.Dots.

8 July 2012 BaconBoobs ‏@KungFuBoobs [^169.50] https://twitter.com/KungFuBoobs/status/221955796395765760 Bio: Just a white girl in the ghetto. I can queef in Ebonics. 2,084 tweets. 1,060 following. 6,643 followers. No account found with this ID on 19 February 2013.

I've been on here almost a year and I've gotten two real phone numbers so it's clearly not a waste of time.

26 May 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^169.51] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/206499053813506048 His bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,477 tweets. 3,154 following. 9,233 followers.

You're hot and you Re-tweet.

I've already showed my mom your avi.

23 July 2012 Noel Sirmer ‏@goodtimenoel [^169.52] https://twitter.com/goodtimenoel/status/227425158351187968 His Twitter bio and stats on 15 December 2013: I'm just a #SmoothCrimiNoel. http://favstar.fm/users/goodtimenoel/ - http://audioboo.fm/goodtimenoel - Location: Atlanta · goodtimenoel.com - 5,686 tweets. 1,243 following. 2,147 followers.

Your mom really likes my tweets.

27 February 2013 Peauxtassium, k? ‏@NotJPo [^169.53] https://twitter.com/NotJPo/status/306976772161929216 Her Twitter bio and stats on 15 December 2013: I have PMS. 16,932 tweets. 2,187 following. 26,140 followers.

You say we're not dating, but my photoshop skills say otherwise.

27 December 2012 Steve ‏@FSUSteve [^169.54] https://twitter.com/FSUSteve/status/284324878398681090 His bio and stats on 16 May 2013: Twitter is the Matrix. Location: Miami · favstar.fm/users/FSUSteve - 65,814 tweets. 4,634 following. 16,092 followers.

No Mom, still no boyfriend, but some stranger on the internet said he loves me!

Twice!

21 June 2012 christine ‏@thesupergrobi [^169.55] https://twitter.com/thesupergrobi/status/215789013611716608 Her bio and stats on 28 November 2012: Ich bin eine Lady. Location: all those old fashioned places · http://favstar.fm/users/thesupergrobi \- 7,445 tweets. 644 following. 5,067 followers.

If I've ever dm'd with you, I've pictured what our wedding would be like.

19 July 2012 Tricia ‏@Im_Tricia [^169.56] https://twitter.com/im_tricia/status/226129048533884928 Her bio: Jazz hands for life while still keeping it gangsta. Location: Los Angeles. [Link] 2,794 tweets. 649 following. 20,828 followers.

The URL (withheld here) in Tricia's profile above was for her Amazon wish list, which showed her last name. The list showed 83 unpurchased items, beginning with $50 gift cards for BJ's Restaurants, The Cheesecake Factory and SUBWAY. On 17 March 2013 she added a bookshelf, triple dresser and a desk.

Another tweet about wish lists:

HEY BUY ME STUFF

http://www.amazon.co.uk/registry/wishlist/[withheld]

2 March 2013 rachael ‏@wastingpaper [^169.57] https://twitter.com/wastingpaper/status/[withheld]. Her bio and stats the next day: how does moses make his tea? he brews it. Location: glasgow. 89,773 tweets. 254 following. 1,479 followers.

The link points to an Amazon wish list for Rachael [last name, location and birthday withheld]. The first item on the list: Vivienne Westwood Ladies Multicoloured Tartan Cosmetic Bag, £24.99. The second item was a pair of gaudy platform shoes with a large gold-ish buckle: Temptation by vivienne westwood [sic] footwear - size: 5, reduced from £160.00 to £99.00. Both items, along with 25 others, were added on the same day as her tweet.

I won't tell you my last name but here's my address so you can mail me some cool stuff.

11 March 2013 Wistful Blue ‏@WistfulBlue [^169.58] https://twitter.com/WistfulBlue/status/311347058521026560 Her bio and stats on 12 March 2013: I'm the girl with the Happy Meal tattoo, you've probably never heard of me. Married @frankcurtisB in a $7 wedding dress. Location: @TongueTwysta's pocket. 18,733 tweets. 1,633 following. 7,497 followers.

This is the perfect weather to use your credit cards to buy me stuff.

2 October 2011 Justina ‏@JEllis1313 [^169.59] https://twitter.com/JEllis1313/status/120509883262042114 Bio and stats on 8 March 2014: All dressed up with some medicine for luck. BlackRock. Location: 'Cuse, NY · http://favstar.fm/users/JEllis1313 - 40,919 tweets. 3,359 following. 3,580 followers.

HELLO person who bought me shoes and a very nice coat: ty ty.

(also who are you)

18 November 2013 Sputnik Sweetheart ‏@Verlieren [^169.60] https://twitter.com/Verlieren/status/402610580982206464 Her Twitter bio and stats on 17 December 2013: Lead singer of Crossbow Abortion. Not to make you fall in love with me but I probably don't have AIDS. http://tinyurl.com/verinstagram - 14,963 tweets. 436 following. 16,405 followers. She had tweeted about being 24 and a university student at the time.

ty = thank you.

Does anyone want to be my sugar daddy? My sugar momma? Sugar uncle? Salty sister? Spicy cousin? Anything? Anyone? Ok. I just want presents.

5 April 2013 Miss Fuckalicious ‏@PyrBliss [^169.61] https://twitter.com/PyrBliss/status/320304179916718081 Her bio: Swearing on Twitter is my anti-drug. Come for the cuteness, stay for the rage. I say FUCK! a lot. Location: In your pocket · http://favstar.fm/users/PyrBliss - 4,905 tweets. 1,009 following. 34,193 followers.

Who is my richest follower?

14 April 2013 Ari Scott ‏@ariscott [^169.62] https://twitter.com/ariscott/status/323555849878532097 Her bio and stats on 26 April 2013: Writer at UCB. Location: NYC · ariscott.com. 1,998 tweets. 630 following. 8,365 followers.

• • • • •

My crush won't return any of my DMs. Terribly annoying. It's almost like he doesn't even WANT to help me pick out our wedding invitations.

9 July 2012 Naghmeh ‏@dgphotos [^169.63] https://twitter.com/dgphotos/status/222325604261957633 Her bio and stats on 9 January 2013: Will work for poutine http://favstar.fm/users/dgphotos/recent - Location: Ontari-ari-ari-o · http://favstar.fm/users/dgphotos - 10,022 tweets. 5,706 following. 6,172 followers.

Join Twitter right now and meet hot singles not in your area.

20 October 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^169.64] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/259697818397184000 Her bio and stats on 22 October 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 9,203 tweets. 1,778 following. 1,461 followers.

Way to live nowhere near me, potential soulmates

28 October 2012 Artur Bagyants ‏@Bagyants [^169.65] https://twitter.com/Bagyants/status/262611826553008128 His bio and stats on 23 November 2012: Some people grunt at the gym; I scream at the top of my lungs THEY KILLED MY FAMILY as I lift weights. Location: Kansas · http://favstar.fm/users/Bagyants - 486 tweets. 232 following. 6,086 followers.

Hearts don't understand geography.

18 October 2012 Honey B. ‏@HoneyUnhinged [^169.66] https://twitter.com/HoneyUnhinged/status/259074201539993600 Her bio and stats on 20 January 2013: My body will make you want to come; my mind will make you want to stay. favstar.fm/users/HoneyUnhinged \- 7,606 tweets. 450 following. 4,144 followers.

With a word miles disappear.

13 February 2013 Madame La Crooz ‏@MmeLaCrooz [^169.67] https://twitter.com/MmeLaCrooz/status/301777380161232896 Her bio and stats on 20 February 2013: Living La Dolce Vita, except in color. Location: Corner of Bliss and Blunt · http://bit.ly/HtvIJF - 25,865 tweets. 2,361 following. 3,753 followers.

TwitterCrushes are all fun and games until someone starts calculating travel time.

12 February 2013 Hot Mess ‏@HeartOnSleeve99 [^169.68] https://twitter.com/HeartOnSleeve99/status/301470787372711937 Bio and stats on 27 February 2013: ♫♫I wear my heart on my sleeve. If you cut me, I'll bleed. I never said I was an angel. I never said I wouldn't break down. I'm only human.♫♫‏ - aka ScornedWoman · favstar.fm/users/HeartOnSleeve99 - 3,001 tweets. 2,176 following. 2,107 followers.

Reply:

Haha! Still fun after calculation...

RT "@ScornedWoman99: TwitterCrushes are all fun and games until someone starts calculating travel time."

24 February 2013 Sara ‏@sarnophora [^169.69] https://twitter.com/sarnophora/status/305769411724328961 Bio and stats on 27 February 2013: I'm a girl. I do stuff sometimes. I'm infatuated with (and am desperately passionate about) science. I like cats and hockey. I'm an atheist. I own chocolate. Location: Louisville, Kentucky. 1,148 tweets. 154 following. 107 followers. On 4 April 2013 no account was found for @ScornedWoman99, whereas @HeartOnSleeve99 was intact. Perhaps @HeartOnSleeve99 briefly changed their ID back and forth or the manual retweet misstates the original tweeter's ID.

Look... finding your soulmate (online) lives hundreds if not thousands of miles away is just as probable as having grown up neighbors.

5 July 2013 Rock God ‏@redpawn3 [^169.70] https://twitter.com/redpawn3/status/353209927067631616 His bio: Father, Racantouer, Strummer of Simple Chords, and Part-time Treasure Hunter. favstar.fm/users/redpawn3 - 73,278 tweets. 3,479 following. 5,804 followers.

Before Twitter

Him: I live 65 miles away.

Me: I don't do long distance.

Today

Him: I live 8065 miles away.

Me: This could totally work.

13 October 2011 It's Jazmine Bitch! ‏@Jazzzzzmina [^169.71] https://twitter.com/Jazzzzzmina/status/124565681227304960 Her screen name, bio and stats on 18 March 2013: Brunette Bombshell @Jazzzzzmina - LA face with an Oakland booty... I don't make a move without my BFF @weissbrandon, cuz that's how we roll. http://Favstar.fm/users/Jazzzzzmina/recent - 4,287 tweets. 1,868 following. 16,561 followers.

I would like 24 hours with you.

15 June 2013 Tracy ;) ‏@fridaykickbox [^169.72] https://twitter.com/fridaykickbox/status/346150395871100928 Her bio and stats on 16 June 2013: Lost my mind years ago.. group X instructor, would live at the gym if I wasn't married with kids.... Sarcasm lives here.... DMs. Maybe. Location: Australia. 12,876 tweets. 1,426 following. 2,178 followers.

Imagine meeting someone who is exactly who they said they'd be.

12 October 2013 christine ‏@thesupergrobi [^169.73] https://twitter.com/thesupergrobi/status/388952352260370432 Her Twitter bio: Ich bin eine Lady. Location: all those old fashioned places. 9,250 tweets. 656 following. 5,757 followers.

I wish we had more in common...like our zip codes.

24 September 2012 Brunette Bombshell ‏@Jazzzzzmina [^169.74] https://twitter.com/Jazzzzzmina/status/250426037610086403 Her screen name, bio and stats on 18 March 2013: Brunette Bombshell @Jazzzzzmina - LA face with an Oakland booty... I don't make a move without my BFF @weissbrandon, cuz that's how we roll. http://Favstar.fm/users/Jazzzzzmina/recent - 4,287 tweets. 1,868 following. 16,561 followers. Notice that she adopted a new screen name since her previous tweet above.

It's not you baby, it's your time zone.

20 July 2012 Ghetto Trophy ‏@Ghetto_Trophy [^169.75] https://twitter.com/Ghetto_Trophy/status/226279511640141824 Her bio and stats on 28 November 2012: I'm the Forrest Gump of this place. http://ghettotrophy.tumblr.com/ - Location: United Nations/San Francisco · http://favstar.fm/users/Ghetto_Trophy/recent - 41,460 tweets. 3,598 following. 8,902 followers.

SORRY MY TIME ZONE ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.

21 November 2012 fase ‏@iamfase [^169.76] https://twitter.com/iamfase/status/271254032948015104 His bio and stats on 12 November 2012: *an imaginary list of impressive reasons why you should read the bullshit I write* Moderator at @RapGenius Location: Kuwait · http://favstar.fm/users/iamfase - 8,606 tweets. 1,333 following. 2,693 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  170. The perils of self-imposed isolation

Your Twitter crush wears the same clothes every day.

4 June 2012 Sergio ‏@SergioValenCo [^170.1] https://twitter.com/sergiovalenco/status/209648576928821248 His bio and stats on 9 January 2013: Sometimes I'm insightful and witty; then I wake up. Inspirational asshole. Location: In a Cage · http://favstar.fm/users/SergioValenCo/recent - 13,981 tweets. 6,628 following. 9,810 followers.

Twitter: The school of hard socks.

21 June 2012 ShoutingGoddess ‏@ShoutingGoddess [^170.2] https://twitter.com/shoutinggoddess/status/215790540921380864 Her bio and stats on 5 November 2012: Don't read this shit. Go read a book. 101,615 tweets. 2,305 following. 16,629 followers.

Facebook people bake, cook and clean from early morning.

Don't you guys bake, cook or clean...ever?

17 November 2012 MsBonkers ‏@Maritta_L [^170.3] https://twitter.com/Maritta_L/status/269726073703514112 I´m a Swedish blonde, but don´t let that fool you. I'm here for the highly intellectual conversations... And the naked men, of course. Location: Sweden...you know, in Europe · http://favstar.fm/users/Maritta_L - 16,189 tweets. 1,448 following. 1,625 followers.

I'm so hungry, I could almost stop looking at my phone constantly.

16 December 2012 bllix ‏@bllix [^170.4] https://twitter.com/bllix/status/280567234697502720 Her bio and stats on 22 February 2013: Electronic music producer/knob-twiddler, MYLF, Multilingual programmer, Attorney at LOL, Thug 4 Life, Laundromancer, METAL AS FVCK. Damn, Gina. Location: Portland, OR. · http://bllix.tumblr.com - 12,839 tweets. 499 following. 4,534 followers.

**Been considering not taking out the garbage until 2 am to avoid putting on pants, and** **wondering when my life became such a Twitter cliche.**

20 June 2012 Naghmeh ‏@dgphotos [^170.5] https://twitter.com/dgphotos/status/215652666557206528 Her bio and stats on 9 January 2013: Will work for poutine http://favstar.fm/users/dgphotos/recent - Location: Ontari-ari-ari-o · http://favstar.fm/users/dgphotos - 10,022 tweets. 5,706 following. 6,172 followers.

Me: Will you stay with me till I fall asleep?

Him: Ma'am, please just take your pizza

26 September 2013 moody monday ‏@mdob11 [^170.6] https://twitter.com/mdob11/status/441527209296015360 Her bio and stats on 8 March 2014: Dentist. I like teeth. Location: Australia · favstar.fm/users/mdob11 – 17,894 tweets. 5,288 following. 18,701 following.

If anyone's looking round this train trying to spot who hasn't had a shower, I'm not sure my blusher and mascara are enough to fool them.

12:35 p.m. for her in the UK, 27 June 2012 Sarah Millican ‏@SarahMillican75 [^170.7] https://twitter.com/SarahMillican75/status/217914033641234432 Bio: New DVD out in Nov. New tour in 2013. Website here http://www.sarahmillican.co.uk. Feminist and lover of food. Location: hopefully sitting down. 34,135 tweets, 1,698 following, 494,727 followers. Underlining added.

Then:

Lovely lady staff member on the train just told me I don't smell.

The power of Twitter.

1:07 p.m. in the UK, 27 June 2012 Sarah Millican ‏@SarahMillican75 [^170.8] https://twitter.com/SarahMillican75/status/217922052588453888 Bio: New DVD out in Nov. New tour in 2013. Website here http://www.sarahmillican.co.uk. Feminist and lover of food. Location: hopefully sitting down. 34,135 tweets, 1,698 following, 494,727 followers.

**SHUT UP DAD, PEOPLE ON TWITTER DON'T CARE HOW I SMELL** :(

30 August 2012 SEAN ‏@SRbeta [^170.9] https://twitter.com/SRbeta/status/241323113885880320 His bio and stats on 1 September 2012: Clams were not a delicacy at the time, but of a poor mans diet. Location: Calgary SON watchuknowboutdat. 26,299 tweets. 314 following. 1,493 followers.

Very Inspirational Tweet : Go and take a fucking shower.

16 July 2012 Miss Wont ‏@MissWont [^170.10] https://twitter.com/misswont/status/224789159288639488 Her Twitter bio and stats on 2 July 2013: Born and Alive. Location: Amsterdam NL · favstar.fm/users/MissWont - 8,556 tweets. 1,748 following. 5,656 followers.

I need to cough up $80 for the waterproof iPhone cover already.

This no showering thing is starting to get stinky.

24 July 2012 ReeseButCallMeVee ‏@ReeseButCallMeV [^170.11] https://twitter.com/ReeseButCallMeV/status/227944844239200256 Her bio and stats on 11 November 2012: I sleep in my clothes because I'm always too high to take them off =/ Location: Miami, Florida · http://favstar.fm/users/ReeseButCallMeV/recent - 18,024 tweets. 926 following. 6,067 followers.

Haha will to shower

5 November 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^170.12] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/397772625100812290 Twitter bio and stats on 21 November 2013 of this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 16,371 tweets. 726 following. 27,435 followers.

Instead of "will to power," which is an important concept in the philosophy of Friedrich Nietzsche.

Think ive gained 3 lbs since i joined twitter 3 mos ago, but ive lost a half ounce in my scrolling thumb.

20 July 2012 SarahBeerInTheFridge ‏@SarahR_82 [^170.13] https://twitter.com/SarahR_82/status/226492327382888448 Her bio and stats on 6 May 2013: 30. Waitress. I like beer. I tweet RL and bullshit. Appropriately inappropriate. sarahr_82 on Instagram – Location: Southern IL · http://favstar.fm/users/SarahR_82 - 20,644 tweets. 5,678 following. 5,897 followers. Her bio and stats on 27 January 2014: A RL girl. Occasionally hilarious. I like beer. Instagram: sarahr_82 – Location: Southern IL · favstar.fm/users/SarahR_82 – 25,127 tweets. 7,524 following. 7,753 followers.

Sometimes I wonder how many miles I've scrolled.

28 March 2013 Rambo's Apprentice ‏@rambo_nz [^170.14] https://twitter.com/rambo_nz/status/317290883747831808 His bio and stats on 10 May 2013: Open minded moron with a bad attitude. Often drunk, never beaten. May contain traces of nuts. http://favstar.fm/users/rambo_nz - Location: Wellington New Zealand · soundcloud.com/ocyl8r - 24,033 tweets. 5,688 following. 7,251 followers.

Not to brag or anything. But, I'm still on the same medication I was on when I started tweeting.

20 July 2011 Theodora Chester @beingtheo [^170.15] https://twitter.com/#!/beingtheo/status/93886765546487808 Her bio and stats on 8 December 2012: Lapsed writer, collecting distractions. 18,927 tweets. 1,630 following. 6,966 followers.

The good news about Twitter is the longer you do it, the less you care about everything else.

3 April 2012 Wickedwordslinger‏ @StephenBCramer [^170.16] https://twitter.com/#!/StephenBCramer/status/187364268600082434 His Twitter bio and stats on 15 December 2013: I took my crazy neighbor's name since he doesn't do internet and won't know. I am here for the laughs and my wife @aprilsmist is my partner in crime and life. Location: Pennsylvania. 18,814 tweets. 8,641 following. 12,597 followers.

I worry that Twitter will ousted by a new social media and we'll have to start over.

15 May 2013 Stacy ‏@Stexcy [^170.17] https://twitter.com/Stexcy/status/334884361520435200 Bio: A doctor removed my bio. http://favstar.fm/users/Stexcy Location: Canada. 15,712 tweets. 1,027 following. 13,879 followers.

Bad tweet days suck.

But, at the end of the day I go to bed and think,

"they won't leave me."

You won't.

*finger slice across throat*

18 June 2012 Kate Herselfish ‏@kirbys4losers \- https://twitter.com/kirbys4losers/status/214874142816739329 - @kirbys4losers found as ‏@SuperApple8 [^170.18] on 29 October 2012. On 23 April 2013 no Twitter account found for either @kirbys4losers or ‏@SuperApple8. Twitter bio and stats for @SuperApple8 on 19 February 2013: Life is like a box of chocolate. I hate chocolate. favstar.fm/users/SuperApple8 - 6,051 tweets. 1,661 following. 8,354 followers.

I'm not addicted to Twitter.

I'm addicted to the people who use it.

29 June 2012 H0TMessBarbie ‏@H0TMessBarbie [^170.19] https://twitter.com/H0TMessBarbie/status/218842812337242115 Her bio and stats on 18 March 2013: Feel lucky punk? Sweets you couldnt ignore me if you tried. SessionMusician, MartialArts, FeloniousTexter, VikingTamer, #starwars, @rovingvagabond's PrincessMonster. Location: The center of the universe · http://www.YouTube.com/LivingDedGrrl - 78,150 tweets. 2,063 following. 10,553 followers. One space has been added after each of the commas in her bio above.

I'm single because Twitter satisfies me emotionally.

And I'm not ready to give that up.

7 May 2011 Nick Twist @Nick_Twist [^170.20] https://twitter.com/#!/Nick_Twist/status/66901282098651136 On 28 July 2013 this account was found to have been disabled and with this screen name, ID, bio and stats: NICK @nick_twist - 1 tweet. 0 following. 0 followers.

I remember when social networking was something that happened in person.

How awkward.

28 October 2011 caprice crane @capricecrane [^170.21] https://twitter.com/#!/capricecrane/status/129973339384061952 Her Twitter bio and stats on 12 July 2013: Novelist/Screenwriter/TV Writer/ Instagram: @capricecrane – Location: Lost Angeles and New York · capricecrane.com - 3,343 tweets. 396 following. 163,203 followers.

Remember actually talking to people?

That was some bullshit.

12 April 2013 bulls horns ‏@bulls_horns [^170.22] https://twitter.com/bulls_horns/status/322917483868725248 His bio and stats on 14 April 2013: bulls horns @bulls_horns - i grew up on an island now i'm on twitter. Location: MCO.BDA.BDL - 7,992 tweets. 414 following. 5,126 followers.

This is by far my very best bad idea.

22 October 2013 Shea Burnham ‏@Glorificus917 [^170.23] https://twitter.com/Glorificus917/status/392725162246029312 Her Twitter bio: You suck and I'm awesome. Instagram: Badkittie917 Location: Marietta/Atl, GA · favstar.fm/users/Glorificus917 - 12,604 tweets. 814 following. 1,999 followers.

I've been on twitter for almost a year, have nothing to show for it, and have pretty much lost all my friends.

So relaxing.

21 July 2012 Cruz! ‏@nPhelendriqal [^170.24] https://twitter.com/nPhelendriqal/status/226712589479063552 His bio and stats on 2 January 2013: Yeah, I made a few typos once. Let's move on please. http://favstar.fm/users/nPhelendriqal/recent - 32,101 tweets. 1,897 following. 7,718 followers.

My twitter addiction has reached a level of me avoiding eye contact with loved ones.

13 November 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^170.25] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/268444666444275712 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,223 tweets. 1,918 following. 1,773 followers.

‪# **WhenIFirstJoinedTwitter‬ I had a boyfriend, a steady sex life, and one cat.**

I think we all know where this is going.

25 June 2012 Captain Morgan ‏@MorganJ7 [^170.26] https://twitter.com/MorganJ7/status/217487362576486401 Her Twitter bio and stats on 18 July 2013: Fuck romance, I want a burrito. Location: Costa Mesa, CA · favstar.fm/users/MorganJ7 - 6,135 tweets. 901 following. 6,305 followers.

You don't find me entertaining

ugh

we all know that's not true.

1 February 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^170.27] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/297282369893847040 Her bio: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 12,366 tweets. 1,884 following. 1,930 followers.

Elsa recounts being dumped.

I don't need you. I've got Twitter.

1 May 2013 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^170.28] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/329807057232470016 Bio: My bio is sarcastic. soundcloud.com/nerdamage-1/warning - 17,536 tweets. 3,429 following. 12,367 followers.

I should probably be in a relationship just for the supervision.

7 November 2012 Ryan Brown ‏@DocBrown21 [^170.29] https://twitter.com/DocBrown21/status/266335766869860352 His bio and stats on 8 November 2012: I pee in the shower. http://favstar.fm/users/DocBrown21/recent...Location: Belfry, KY · http://favstar.fm/users/docbrown21 - 7,751 tweets. 760 following. 1,143 followers.

Just tried to participate in some good ol' fashioned one-on-one conversation

28 January 2013 Justine Joy ‏@punkystarfish [^170.30] https://twitter.com/punkystarfish/status/295820552109690880 Her bio and stats on 10 February 2013: I tweet it up like Tweety bird | Social Media Gal @Talooma | Digital Diva | Zimbabwean | Taller than you | Loves Pandas | Favourite time is 12:34 | Runner. Location: I swam here from Zimbabwe · http://www.justinejoyit.co.za - 13,665 tweets. 537 following. 1,241 followers.

Reply:

@punkystarfish **It's just so hard these days**

28 January 2013 Samantha Wright ‏@IAmSamW [^170.31] https://twitter.com/IAmSamW/status/295829962999595008 Her bio and stats on 10 February 2013: I work in corporate (go to girl @WordsZA), DJ (on EuroTrashMusic)&attempt to get horses to jump over brightly coloured poles. Location: South Africa · http://www.thatplaceinmyhead.wordpress.com - 10,648 tweets. 316 following. 622 followers.

0 human Interaction

22 August 2012 Dany ‏@DanOverHere [^170.32] https://twitter.com/DanOverHere/status/238223506326822912 His bio and stats on 6 May 2013: My mom doesn't even think I'm special. Location: Beirut. 2,742 tweets. 451 following. 5,817 followers.

damn girl are you twitter because I wanna get intimately involved with you and alienate all of my loved ones

10 May 2013 colin_toilet ‏@flannel_toilet [^170.33] https://twitter.com/flannel_toilet/status/332839872639410177 Bio and stats on 22 May 2013: have my phd in 90s remembering. my thesis was titled Non-Pejorative Slam Pieces: Pogs as Postmodern Expression of the Fucking Rad. unemployed.a suburb, pencilvania · favstar.fm/users/flannel_toilet - 15,437 tweets. 468 following. 2,360 followers.

I've saved a fortune on birth control by opening a Twitter account.

15 July 2012 Erica B. ‏@SCbchbum [^170.34] https://twitter.com/scbchbum/status/224660840358494208 Her bio and stats on 9 August 2012: Ground pounder specializing in trash talking, beach bumming & burning toast. Location: SoCal. 2,518 tweets. 2,697 following. 9,054 followers.

It's not you, it's people.

13 May 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^170.35] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/333936794414489600 Her bio and stats on 14 May 2013: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · pelsjas.wordpress.com 16,668 tweets. 2,298 following. 2,351 followers.

**You learn a lot when** # **Twitter is down. For example, my wife left me four years ago.**

26 July 2012 Andy Borowitz ‏@BorowitzReport [^170.36] https://twitter.com/borowitzreport/status/228553520985554944 Tweet not found on 10 May 2013. Bio and stats on 10 May 2013: There is a fine line between social networking and wasting your fucking life. Location: New York · http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/ 139 tweets. 34 following. 458,209 followers.

Twitter had experienced outages the previous day.

I wonder if there'll be Twitter Crash babies.

21 June 2012 Fluffy Suse ‏@fluffysuse [^170.37] https://twitter.com/fluffysuse/status/215868601566113792 Her bio and stats on 10 August 2012: Prolific giggler. Inane chatterer. Fan of hyperbole. Lover of watermelon. Swears when drunk. And sober. Location: bed, mostly. 17,225 tweets. 2,547 following. 3,226 followers.

Twitter Crash refers to the times when Twitter is down.

"Are you playing Twitter again?" -My kids

5 August 2012 Not the Lord Not the Lord ‏@byronblurb [^170.38] https://twitter.com/byronblurb/status/232279560861913088 His bio and stats on 2 November 2012: skilled at the art of changing the subject; unlimited fountain of useless nonsense; usually able to finish 2 cheeseburgers with no problem. Location: Close enough to come visit. · http://www.favstar.fm/users/byronblurb/recent - 10,007 tweets. 5,593 following. 6,024 followers.

I invited my sister and her kids to come over and watch me tweet.

18 August 2012 Classy Cassy ‏@Classy_Cassy89 [^170.39] https://twitter.com/classy_cassy89/status/236987957016416256 Her bio and stats on 28 October 2012: Life and times of a 40 year old single woman with a cat...got a dog too. 38,329 tweets. 8,185 following. 11,620 followers.

My youngest just did something adorable. Not sure what, because I was staring at my phone, but I'm sure it was something super toddlery.

30 October 2012 Lifey ‏@9to5Life [^170.40] https://twitter.com/9to5Life/status/263444018950717440 Bio: Just a college drop out, working the office life. Don't get all haughty though, I've seen you screw up your/you're like a dozen times. Location: Seattle · http://mommyblogger.com.gov.edu - 1,994 tweets. 807 following. 11,617 followers.

In future, there'll be support groups for adults whose childhoods were destroyed by their parents crippling phone addiction

11 May 2014 Token Geezer ‏@Token_Geezer [^170.41] https://twitter.com/Token_Geezer/status/465517370669563905 Bio: I'm just a minor threat. Location: London · http://favstar.fm/users/Token_Geezer/recent - 44,593 tweets. 906 following. 15,221 followers.

Draft folder is empty!

Just like my bed & my head!

26 July 2012 Matt Manic ‏@mattmanic [^170.42] https://twitter.com/mattmanic/status/228596668138930176 His Twitter bio and stats on 15 December 2013: Coworkers please don't follow me. I don't tweet about the Voice Yay! Favstar: http://favstar.fm/users/mattmanic Instagram: mattmanic kik: mattmanic. Location: Austin TX. 26,798 tweets. 2,993 following. 3,383 followers.

Wasting my life away, one fucking tweet at a time.

3 November 2012 ‏Miss Fuckalicious @PyrBliss [^170.43] https://twitter.com/PyrBliss/status/264963898724204544 Her bio and stats on 7 November 2012: Swearing on Twitter is my anti-drug. Come for the cuteness, stay for the rage. I say FUCK! a lot. Location: In your pocket · http://favstar.fm/users/PyrBliss - 2,916 tweets. 838 following. 26,747 followers.

Don't judge me. You're on here too.

1 September 2012 Curmudgeon at Law ‏@obxlaw [^170.44] https://twitter.com/obxlaw/status/242021929119256577 Bio: the curmudgeon at law. Also, get off my lawn. Taxes, tags and title excluded. Your mileage may vary. Location: castle curmudgeon Nashville. 17,691 tweets. 1,315 following. 2,107 followers.

So how do you guys like the internet so far?

19 October 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^170.45] His bio and stats the next day: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,814 tweets. 3,101 following. 9,463 followers.

The Internet:

Where things you should be doing go to die.

9 July 2012 Josh Hara ‏@yoyoha [^170.46] https://twitter.com/yoyoha/status/222516644633772032 His bio and stats on 7 November 2012: I'm just a boy, standing in front of the internet, asking it to love him. Location: Columbus, Ohio · http://www.statusillustrated.com - 9,690 tweets. 668 following. 44,423 followers.

If your life sucks, spend all day on the internet so you never have time to change it.

16 July 2012 christine ‏@thesupergrobi [^170.47] https://twitter.com/thesupergrobi/status/224790182937903105 Her bio and stats on 28 November 2012: Ich bin eine Lady. Location: all those old fashioned places · http://favstar.fm/users/thesupergrobi \- 7,445 tweets. 644 following. 5,067 followers.

The time that people spend online could instead be spent socializing and making new friends in real life.

It would be strange if you went somewhere to escape but it had the opposite effect.

20 October 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^170.48] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/259742461608468480 Bio: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage \- 13,814 tweets. 3,101 following. 9,463 followers.

I'm becoming The Hunchback of Twitter Dame looking down at this phone all day.

1 October 2012 Jenny IdStandOnSurly ‏@JennyPentland [^170.49] https://twitter.com/JennyPentland/status/252982932199841793 Her bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I gave myself a prison tattoo in a teen help facility when I was 14. It was of a happy face. Then I met you. http://favstar.fm/users/JennyPentland - 10,079 tweets. 1,451 following. 7,719 followers.

Only someone who isn't on twitter would ask a stupid question like "What do you do all day?"

10 October 2011 Miss Fuckalicious ‏@PyrBliss [^170.50] https://twitter.com/pyrbliss/status/123556525921931264 Her bio and stats on 7 November 2012: Swearing on Twitter is my anti-drug. Come for the cuteness, stay for the rage. I say FUCK! a lot. Location: In your pocket · http://favstar.fm/users/PyrBliss - 2,916 tweets. 838 following. 26,747 followers.

Ugh, get over yourself people with "lives".

12 September 2012 Steve ‏@FSUSteve [^170.51] https://twitter.com/FSUSteve/status/246001878528294912 Bio and stats on 8 November 2012: My ride or die @mekaylasmoody Location: Florida · http://favstar.fm/users/FSUSteve - 57,242 tweets. 3,537 following. 12,316 followers. His bio and stats on 16 May 2013: Twitter is the Matrix. Location: Miami · favstar.fm/users/FSUSteve - 65,814 tweets. 4,634 following. 16,092 followers. Underlining added.

U should have seen the shit my Sims and I got in to tonight

23 July 2012 Ali ‏@alibaby90 [^170.52] https://twitter.com/alibaby90/status/227633217560272896 Her bio and stats on 12 January 2013: Undergraduate at Devry. Masters from University of Phoenix. 3,906 tweets. 202 following. 5,613 followers.

Sims are characters in The Sims and co-branded virtual reality environments. The Sims are able to exercise some free will but they are not fully autonomous. They were popular among pre-teens and young teens at the time.

Twitter is like a very demented game of The Sims.

Everyday I check to see how my people are doing and make sure they're still alive.

1 September 2012 GoodNewsBadNews ‏@imence2 [^170.53] https://twitter.com/imence2/status/241889729333837824 His bio and stats on 19 October 2012: @jermhimselfish is my RL brother. @nburrr is my Twitter roomie and the rest of you are just family. http://favstar.fm/users/imence2/recent - 21,040 tweets. 1,083 following. 5,777 followers.

This is like the Sims but harder.

1 November 2012 @00example00 [^170.54] https://twitter.com/00example00/status/264260014812831744 Her bio: Austin. 8,275 tweets. 984 following. 1,997 followers. On 17 December 2013 this account was found to have been disabled and appeared to have undergone a change of control. Its bio and stats on 17 December 2013 when it had an egg avi: Joy @00example00 - 0 tweets. 5 following. 0 followers.

My therapist was all "You lack life skills" & I was all "But I have a hot girl & a sick ass crib on The Sims" & she was all "Take your meds"

5 January 2013 Kyle Lippert ‏@Kyle_Lippert [^170.55] https://twitter.com/Kyle_Lippert/status/287763266426507264 His bio and stats on 6 January 2013: I write things. I also eat most things. Witstream, Playgirl, America's Most Wanted. Location: NYC · twitter.com - 13,788 tweets. 762 following. 22,904 followers. Crib = home or apartment.

The most important thing I've learned from twitter is - I can never start gambling, because I managed to get addicted to my fucking phone.

25 October 2012 Ghetto Trophy ‏@Ghetto_Trophy [^170.56] https://twitter.com/Ghetto_Trophy/status/261494438591864836 Her bio and stats on 30 October 2012: I'm the Forrest Gump of this place. http://ghettotrophy.tumblr.com/ Location: United Nations/San Francisco · http://favstar.fm/users/Ghetto_Trophy/recent - 40,534 tweets. 3,590 following. 8,454 followers.

Knitting a sweater for my phone.

Its the only thing left alive.

7 January 2013 T.S ‏@tapssri [^170.57] https://twitter.com/tapssri/status/288489930672439297 Her bio: Still Evolving, dog lover, 100 shades of red, all views are personal as no one else will claim or care. Location: India. 1,647 tweets. 58 following. 124 followers.

Million dollar idea: "How's my tweeting?" stickers for phones.

23 December 2013 Carbosly ‏@Carbosly [^170.58] https://twitter.com/Carbosly/status/415348553087987712 Bio: I'm a mom, I'm a lover, I'm a hoot. I advertise by day & make cakes by night. Ask your dad if you can follow me. He does. http://favstar.fm/users/Carbosly - Fuck you too. 17,296 tweets. 7,241 following. 21,939 followers.

Some fleet operators put bumper stickers on their commercial vehicles. The stickers read: "How's my driving?" A phone number and vehicle identification number accompany the question.

Remember when phones were for talking to people. Ya whatever. You do not.

7 January 2013 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^170.59] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/288541980185731072 Bio and stats on 13 February 2013: i was born 'n stuff. Location: Hanging out in my garage. · http://favstar.fm/users/RobotThomas - 40,434 tweets. 7,515 following. 6,879 followers.

Wtf my my twitter machine just rang! Weird.

15 May 2012 Heather ‏@evilmensuck [^170.60] https://twitter.com/evilmensuck/status/202476844287655936 Her Twitter bio and stats on 11 June 2012: These things make you sound stupid. 9,581 tweets. 2,220 following. 2,292 followers. No account with this ID found on 12 May 2013.

How do I make a phone call on this thing?

11 November 2012 Pimple Eye ‏@PimpleEye - https://twitter.com/PimpleEye/status/267544036301234176

Bio: I used to have a pimple, now I don't. Location: Under The Westgate. Melbourne. http://favstar.fm/users/PimpleEye/recent - 28,469 tweets. 853 following. 7,781 followers. ‏Became Fuzzy Pimple @FuzzyPimple [^170.61] in early December 2012.

Technology deserves a life-sentence for killing childhood of today's kids.

20 April 2014 Lily D'Penha ‏@LilyDPenha [^170.62] https://twitter.com/LilyDPenha/status/457788097963753472 No bio on 2 May 2014, only these stats: 105,696 tweets. 247 following. 2,521 followers.

In North America in the 1900s, a big event in many kids' lives came when they obtained a driver's license, often at age 16. Now, at much earlier ages, obtaining a mobile device has become the big event. But at what cost?

' **Depriving children of their digital media devices for five days increased their ability to read emotions of others** '

http://thetim.es/1soeWEp

25 August 2014 The Times of London ‏@thetimes [^170.63] https://twitter.com/thetimes/status/503901151985545217 Bio: News, comment and features from the Newspaper of the Year. Become a member at http://thetim.es/subscribe Tweet @Times_CS for customer assistance – Location: London - thetimes.co.uk/twitter - 107,327 tweets. 605 following. 235,622 followers.

Difficulty reading emotions and facial expressions is associated with autism. Because most human communication is non-verbal, a reduced capacity to read the emotions of others can lead to incessant misunderstandings and social problems.

The link in the tweet points to: "Digital media may stifle social skills," by Vicky Forster, The Times of London, 25 August 2014, http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/science/article4185774.ece - The article was behind a paywall and was not read or reviewed for this chapter.

The blurb indicated that a study was conducted on children aged 11-12 who had been sent off to a camp where television and other digital devices were not available to them. This could have implications for how screens are used in classrooms. What about the influence of television on children's social skills compared to the influences of other screens?

I ordered a iPhone 4S;

will give my iPhone 4 to my 10-yr old,

who gives his iPod Touch to my 6-yr old,

who gives his iPhone 3G to the cat

7 October 2011 Shahed Amanullah ‏@shahed [^170.64] https://twitter.com/shahed/status/122426479320629248

Bio: Senior Advisor at @StateDept working on digital diplomacy. Founded @halalfire, created @altmuslim, @zabihah, @brasscrescent. Tweets do not represent US gov't. Location: Washington, DC. 5,183 tweets. 914 following. 4,731 followers.

**Going to Google "iPhone** 5 **flaws" to feel better about my outdated technology.**

14 September 2012 Rameeza Nizami ‏@RameezaNizami [^170.65] https://twitter.com/RameezaNizami/status/245938050331467776 Her bio and stats on 12 November 2012: Unauthorized, unofficial, etc etc. This isn't even me, really. Location: In an office, most of the time. 5,010 tweets. 890 following. 3,331 followers. Tweeted during the release of Apple's iPhone 5.

p sure that technically, in money terms, my phone is worth more than i am

7 September 2012 Erin Collopy ‏@followdavehome [^170.66] https://twitter.com/followdavehome/status/244165353729564672 Her Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 5 May 2013: Demon Soil Berry @followdavehome - erin collopy. whatever. Location: deep in the arctic jungle · http://erinin.jp - 14,636 tweets. 455 following. 316 followers.

p sure = pretty sure.

I'm looking forward to a productive day on Twitter.

No, YOU'RE an oxymoron.

17 September 2011 peckishly ‏@peckishly [^170.67] https://twitter.com/peckishly/status/115064454344998912 Bio and stats on 10 November 2012: In a parallel universe, someone else is wearing your pants. Purveyor of laughable tweets since April, 2011. Location: Over here! · http://favstar.fm/users/peckishly - 10,644 tweets. 1,105 following. 1,214 followers.

I remember the days when I wasn't addicted to twitter...

I also remember eating, sleeping, going out, returning calls, making eye contact,

22 July 2012 yourJester ‏@Loli_Sug [^170.68] https://twitter.com/Loli_Sug/status/227042292714852352 Her bio and stats on 30 October 2012: Often inappropriate & by often i mean frequently & by frequently i mean always. My favorite flavor is Vanilla. Location: so close I almost touch · http://favstar.fm/users/Loli_Sug - 51,324 tweets. 2,884 following. 8,238 followers.

At least I'm getting pretty good with picking things up with my feet.

2 October 2012 Panda ‏@ispypanda [^170.69] https://twitter.com/ispypanda/status/253162794394988545 Her bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I put cupcake lotion on because I'm an adult. http://favstar.fm/users/ispypanda/recent - 16,359 tweets. 903 following. 8,306 followers.

you'd think that lack of stars would make me stop tweeting, lol

2 October 2012 goldie ‏@_goldieeelocks [^170.70] https://twitter.com/_goldieeelocks/status/253259362154446848 Her bio and stats on 7 October 2012: my parents wanted a boy, but they got me instead. http://favstar.fm/users/_goldieeelocks - 3,730 tweets. 793 following. 1,658 followers. On 14 December 2013 this account was found to have likely experienced a change of control.

I suck at not tweeting.

9 August 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^170.71] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/233736216758063105 His bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,477 tweets. 3,154 following. 9,233 followers.

People who only tweet one tweet a day, How you do that?

28 November 2011 ImNotEvilUAre ‏@ImHopel3ss [^170.72] https://twitter.com/#!/ImHopel3ss/status/141236794694963200 His Twitter bio and stats on 3 August 2013: Ignore me. I like it. Location: NY,hiding from people like YOU. 33,517 tweets. 1,616 following. 10,010 followers.

Well played, people who know how to log off of twitter. Well played.

11 April 2012 Ms. Shiz @NotJPo [^170.73] https://twitter.com/#!/NotJPo/status/190205014755651584 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: All my tweets are 100% true, idiot. (name courtesy of @SweetTweetsBRO). Location: Peauxland · http://favstar.fm/users/NotJPo/status/245683543525711872 - 11,835 tweets. 1,983 following. 18,682 followers.

go to bed

1:59 a.m. Saturday morning, just after Thanksgiving, 24 November 2012 lauren ashley bishop ‏@sbellelauren [^170.74] https://twitter.com/sbellelauren/status/272278265211793408 Her bio and stats on 1 February 2013: i'm a comedian from arkansas. i live in LA. but i comede all over. http://witstream.com please & thank you http://favstar.fm/users/sbellelauren - http://weakendupdate.tumblr.com – Location: hollywood · http://laurenashleybishop.tumblr.com/ - 9,879 tweets. 999 following. 35,118 followers.

I can't go to bed, I've still got 7% battery life left.

26 September 2012 Pimple Eye ‏@PimpleEye - https://twitter.com/PimpleEye/status/250974454069460992

Bio and stats on 6 November 2012: I used to have a pimple, now I don't. Location: Under The Westgate. Melbourne · http://favstar.fm/users/PimpleEye/recent - 28,388 tweets. 852 following. 7,763 followers. ‏Became Fuzzy Pimple @FuzzyPimple [^170.75] in early December 2012.

Looking at a screen while in bed can interfere with sleep — physically and psychologically. Screens emit a blue light that depresses melatonin, which is produced in our bodies every day as part of our circadian rhythms and which helps put us to sleep. The contents of the screen can be psychologically stimulating, putting us in states where it's harder to fall asleep.

"I think it's the light," said Scott Davis about what keeps people focussed on their handsets, "not the content."

Source of Scott Davis' quote: Scott Davis @BrekkeBlacksmth [^170.76] interview for this chapter on 3 September 2014 at Black Coffee @BlackCoffeeCoop [^170.77], with his quote confirmed the following night. His Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 26 September 2014: Scott In a small home, with son and adventure partner. Gardening, friends, cooking, dreaming. Recently dreamed up & co-founded a worker-owned cafe (@blackcoffeecoop) – Location: ÜT: 47.616437,-122.3258 - medium.com/blacksmith - 2,111 tweets. 248 following. 211 followers.

Scott Davis described how he can be five feet in front of someone and shout at them. If they are looking at their device, they may not hear him.

My eyes say "sleep" but my brain says "Twitter"...

19 May 2013 LL Cool Tay ‏@freshestginger [^170.78] https://twitter.com/freshestginger/status/336021127669366786 Her Twitter bio and stats on 9 September 2013: Official member of the FPFC. @GephreyC is my main man @OddMarc and I boogie and @OCDelight21 = best friend on the internet Getting internet married to @TimWDunn. Location: Eeeeeeewwww-tah · http://favstar.fm/users/freshestginger. 12,469 tweets. 2,034 following. 2,665 followers.

Hey guys, the Internet will still be here tomorrow, I promise. Now go to bed.

14 September 2011 John Jacob ‏@PheasantPluckr [^170.79] https://twitter.com/pheasantpluckr/status/114166123133534208 His Twitter bio and stats on 23 April 2014: I'm not checking my account for DMs, mentions, retweets or any of that biznazz. Texting twitter from my phone like our forefathers did. Find me on Instagram? @bronsontaylor · googles.com – 11,569 tweets. 2 following. 979 followers.

I should get one of those test patterns for an avi when I'm sleeping, so people know I'm off the air.

28 May 2012 Michael B Inlaoninni ‏@mikeinla09 [^170.80] https://twitter.com/mikeinla09/status/207026816018427904 His bio and stats on 16 November 2012: Equus africanus asinus. http://concerning-z.tumblr.com/ Location: Los Angeles · http://favstar.fm/users/mikeinla09/recent - 26,063 tweets. 2,096 following. 1,918 followers.

I promised myself I'm going to bed early tonight.....

so I will not be available after 2

10:34 p.m. EDT on a Tuesday night, 17 July 2012 plzstopfollowingme ‏@imence2 [^170.81] https://twitter.com/imence2/status/225418183358693376 His screen name, bio and stats on 23 February 2013: Cobrad - There's a lot of things in my real life bio I'd like to erase. Having a best friend like @RandomlyMJ is one I lucky to be able to write. Location: Talking to @Jermhimselfish · http://favstar.fm/users/imence2/recent \- 32,743 tweets. 975 following. 8,922 followers.

I'm tired of this device. Good night.

16 December 2012 Malak Mansour ‏@xMalakMansourx [^170.82] https://twitter.com/xMalakMansourx/status/280451008583307264 Her bio and stats on 18 December 2012: A fictional character created by your perception. 3,293 tweets. 283 following. 512 followers.

I have to go to sleep. You're lucky.

11:03 p.m. PDT, 23 May 2013 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^170.83] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/338077808775532544 His bio and stats the next day: I tweet so you don't have to. soundcloud.com/nerdamage-1/warning - 18,051 tweets. 3,463 following. 12,639 followers.

I hate when people feel the need to tweet that they're going to bed. Well, goodnight. I'm going to bed.

18 August 2012 Jim Gaffigan ‏@JimGaffigan [^170.84] https://twitter.com/jimgaffigan/status/236695223869243392 His bio and stats on 15 November 2012: Husband to hot wife, father of 5, comedian, actor, writer, former sleeper Mr. Universe avail NOW at JimGaffigan.com $5 Location: NYC - America Tour starts Jan · http://jimgaffigan.com/appearances.shtml - 3,500 tweets. 851 following. 1,411,278 followers.

I usually have 10 more tweets right after the "I'm off to bed" tweet.

9 September 2012 Adly ‏@TheAdly [^170.85] https://twitter.com/TheAdly/status/244741295543812096

Bio:

Escapism (n) The tendency to seek distraction and relief from unpleasant realities by seeking entertainment or engaging in fantasy.

Location: Manhattan, New York. 26,392 tweets. 153 following. 9,339 followers. His bio and stats on 25 December 2013: Epiphany addict - Wonder junkie. Location: Dubai · talesofanescapist.com - 27,381 tweets. 60 following. 20,146 followers. Underlining added.

I'm supposed to be asleep but this is just too important not to tweet.

19 December 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^170.86] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/281642371106623488 His bio and stats on 27 February 2013: I tweet so you don't have to. https://soundcloud.com/nerdamage-1/05hund4m463 - 16,272 tweets. 3,373 following. 11,597 followers.

There's some real good stuff down there, guys. Just keep scrollin'.

15 August 2012 Tori ‏@TBCpierce - https://twitter.com/TBCpierce/status/235754096525721600 Her bio and stats on 20 August 2012: So the island was purgatory? Location: Texas. 134 tweets. 95 following. 148 followers. Island may refer to Gilligan's Island, an American TV sitcom that originally aired for three seasons on the CBS network from 26 September 1964 to 4 September 1967. Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 10 March 2013: Tori @toriTBC [^170.87] So the island was purgatory? favstar.fm/users/toriTBC - 360 tweets. 167 following. 1,516 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  171. Twitter therapy

Some people tweet to find other people.

Some of us tweet to find ourselves.

22 May 2012 Rey ‏@HecatePanGddss [^171.1] https://twitter.com/hecatepangddss/status/205012983968043008 Bio and stats on 17 February 2013: Don't bother asking me. You'll decide for yourself. Location: The Infinite Universe. 26,004 tweets. 336 following. 3,227 followers.

the thing about the internet it is that it allows you to slowly disclose your own personal madness to the world, and secretly heal.

9 October 2013 Karachi Feminist ‏@oil_is_opium [^171.2] https://twitter.com/oil_is_opium/status/387889370058870784 Her Twitter bio: we try. 3,215 tweets. 826 following. 2,549 followers.

Reply:

@oil_is_opium personal journals or diaries used to serve this purpose in the past

9 October 2013 Ammara Khan ‏@ammarakh [^171.3] https://twitter.com/ammarakh/status/387893063601098752 Her Twitter bio: I'm a Feminist & books/films junkie who writes book reviews & teaches for a living & loves chaats, coffee & shoe-shopping. P.S. I want to be a writer! Location: Karachi. 1,235 tweets. 463 following. 315 followers.

Personal journals or diaries are never replied to, retweeted or starred. Nor do they enable their authors to draw inspiration from others' writing and reactions to shared events.

Another reply:

@oil_is_opium I think it allows us to celebrate our madness :D

9 October 2013 Nimrah Bader ‏@Nimrah_B [^171.4] https://twitter.com/Nimrah_B/status/387901449126305792 Her Twitter bio: Med student by day Unstoppable obsessive dreamer by night. I've been told I ponder over fate and events. I also love chocolate and fuzzy animals. Location: Karachi. 2,064 tweets. 279 following. 168 followers.

Sometimes it takes a tweet or two to figure out what kind of mood you're in.

6 January 2014 Charles Davis ‏@charliearchy [^171.5] https://twitter.com/charliearchy/status/420281923521355776 Bio and stats on 21 January 2014: A contributor to society. [charles (at) http://freecharlesdavis.com ] Location: Los Angeles, California · FreeCharlesDavis.com – 17,624 tweets, 261 following. 4,247 followers.

I wrote this tweet hoping it would calm me down.

23 July 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^171.6] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/359617421323157504 Her Twitter bio and stats on 16 September 2013: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · pelsjas.wordpress.com. 20,227 tweets. 2,656 following. 2,827 followers.

Some of you guys are as good as therapy, others of you make me think i need therapy.

6 December 2012 Ron Mexico ‏@Coastiefish [^171.7] https://twitter.com/Coastiefish/status/276855105003864064 His Twitter bio and stats on 9 September 2013: lf you can only be good at one thing, be good at cheating....because if you're good at cheating, you're good at everything. Location: Miami! 3,799 tweets. 3,500 following. 13,711 followers.

She asked how to spell therapy, I told her *TWITTER*.

22 September 2012 ‏@Soo_Scandalouss [^171.8] https://twitter.com/Soo_Scandalouss/status/249403712517332993 Her bio and stats on 15 February 2013: I skip Confession with @Imajika25, b/c I'm not Catholic. @JoblessSamurai is my partner in crime. @GreenSmoke_ would go to jail with me. @TheSchazZ has whiskey. Location: Looking for a lighter · http://favstar.fm/users/Soo_Scandalouss/recent - 17,231 tweets. 2,148 following. 5,611 followers.

In Twitter therapy, revealing oneself through microblogging can have therapeutic effects. The feedback can be affirming. Tweeting helps people's identities evolve. Identity formation is a group process.

Twitter feels a lot like Group Therapy...

only everyone is talking at once and no one wants to be cured.

2 November 2011 Jason ‏@jasonlight73 [^171.9] https://twitter.com/jasonlight73/status/131857884962234368 His Twitter bio and stats on 21 May 2013: The Official Twitter Feed For me..It's Official because I said so! Location: USA-Earth-MilkyWay-Everywhere · favstar.fm/users/JasonLight - 73,299 tweets. 4,345 following. 7,162 followers.

Twitter. Because therapy is expensive.

1 May 2012 Fucking Randy ‏@Fucking_Randy [^171.10] https://twitter.com/Fucking_Randy/status/197407500650283008 His Twitter bio and stats on 9 October 2013: Vice President ACME Sales, Coyote Division. AnotherRandy on PSN. AnotherRandyDJ on turntable.fm. Location: Giving your mom a Dutch Oven · favstar.fm/users/Fucking_Randy - 18,862 tweets. 1,232 following. 2,010 followers.

Sometimes, I wonder what the hell is wrong with me.

Then I go thru my tweets to find an answer.

31 May 2012 Lisa ‏@_sleepysmile [^171.11] https://twitter.com/_sleepysmile/status/208332865010798595 Her bio and stats on 8 November 2012: Kickboxer. Gamer. Knee sock enthusiast. @carlyken and @TeflonPawn are my home fries. http://audioboo.fm/sleepysmile Location: The Midwest · http://favstar.fm/users/_sleepysmile - 5,870 tweets. 3,514 following. 4,869 followers. Her bio and stats on 31 January 2013: Nothing makes sense, anymore. http://audioboo.fm/sleepysmile - favstar.fm/users/_sleepysmile - 11,756 tweets. 3,709 following. 7,688 followers.

Try explaining twitter therapy to a non tweeter.

It's akin to teaching quantum physics to a hamster.

30 October 2012 SashaJBrenner ‏@SashaBrenner [^171.12] https://twitter.com/SashaBrenner/status/263374391671414784 Bio and stats on 1 November 2012: Personal account. Screamwriter. Lover. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1348207061 http://audioboo.fm/sashabrenner Location: London Mayfair · http://favstar.fm/users/SashaBrenner 7,258 tweets. 4,253 following. 5,105 followers.

Weeding out the issues i should go to therapy for from the ones twitter can handle.

10 July 2012 Elaina ‏@katniiip [^171.13] https://twitter.com/katniiip/status/222649083880415232 Her Twitter bio and stats on 17 December 2013: Roaming... · favstar.fm/users/katniiip - 7,880 tweets. 1,034 following. 1,089 followers.

In this insane, stupid world, Twitter is the only hope for some sanity

2 July 2013 The Bad Doctor ‏@doctoratlarge [^171.14] https://twitter.com/doctoratlarge/status/352268305941266432 His Twitter bio: I'm the doctor nobody warned you about. Also, I hate assholes - because I couldn't become one. Location: Jaipur · doctoratlarge.wordpress.com -41,901 tweets. 305 following. 22,939 followers.

So basically we all have PTSD of life before Twitter.

14 September 2012 Ryan Armentrout ‏@ryaninco [^171.15] https://twitter.com/ryaninco/status/246798443874500608 His bio and stats on 2 November 2012: Traveling the U.S. like a gypsy, only I take a shower daily. Instagram Ryaninco. Location: I get around · http://favstar.fm/users/ryaninco - 22,000 tweets. 5,016 following. 13,127 followers.

You're going to lose followers no matter what you say. You might as well get some free therapy and say whatever the fuck you want anyway.

26 November 2012 farleftcoast ‏@farleftcoast [^171.16] https://twitter.com/farleftcoast/status/273172810120183808 Bio and stats on 19 December 2012: Before I get my hair cut I whisper to the stylist: If you fuck up my hair I'll burn your salon down. I love @thedailymarker so much I put a ring on his finger. Location: The Dock of the Bay · http://favstar.fm/users/farleftcoast - 43,848 tweets. 840 following. 13,578 followers.

Sometimes Twitter can get as batshit crazy as.... Well Twitter would be the best example.

30 November 2011 J ‏@Lipgloss_Nerd [^171.17] https://twitter.com/lipgloss_nerd/status/141977841586802688 Her screen name, bio and stats on 4 March 2013: That Horrible Girl - @UluwatuSiap and I are no longer here. Perhaps we never really were. Unfollow guilt free. Location: Island of Delusions. 1,528 tweets. 628 following. 6,430 followers. Bio and stats on 4 March 2013 of That Rude Cunt @UluwatuSiap - @Lipgloss_Nerd and I are no longer here. Perhaps we never really were. Unfollow guilt free. Location: Island of Delusions. 2,350 tweets. 737 following. 9,441 followers. The last tweets from both accounts were dated 9 December 2012.

My accounts use the whole crazy.

5 September 2012 bllix, the tinier ‏@tinybllix - https://twitter.com/tinybllix/status/243512538778710016 Her bio and stats on 28 February 2013: Yes, I'm @bllix. No, I'm not a bot. Yes, I'm also @loudbllix. No, I'm not schizophrenic. Yes, I'm real. No, I'm not a dude. Yes, I'm single. No, I'm busy later. Location: Portland, OR. · http://www.twitter.com/bllix - 3,853 tweets. 199 following. 1,357 followers. The same author posts as @bllix [^171.18], @tinybllix, @loudbllix and @bllixodus.

Each of bllix's four known accounts has its own personality. They have been found to engage in heated conversations with each other.

I feel like my Twitter accounts need a Wiki

16 June 2013 bllix, the tinier ‏@tinybllix - https://twitter.com/tinybllix/status/346507601325989889 Her bio: Yes, I'm @bllix. No, I'm not a bot. Yes, I'm @loudbllix. No, I'm not schizophrenic. Yes, I'm real. No, I'm not a dude. Yes, I'm single. No, I'm busy later. Location: Portland, OR. · twitter.com/bllix - 4,003 tweets. 208 following. 1,363 followers. The same author posts as @bllix [^171.19], @tinybllix, @loudbllix and @bllixodus.

Her four known accounts are @bllix, @tinybllix, @LOUDBLLIX and @bllixodus. The first three were collected into their own list by a fan, Gary @chocolakai:

https://twitter.com/#!/chocolakai/bllix

bllix had eight additional accounts in 2012 that were kept hidden from her @bllix identities.

@aem76us @chocolakai **Yeah...8**

6 September 2012 bllix ‏@bllix [^171.20] https://twitter.com/bllix/status/243904126050762752 Her bio and stats on 30 October 2012: Electronic music producer/knob-twiddler, MYLF, Multilingual programmer, Attorney at LOL, Thug 4 Life, Laundromancer, METAL AS FVCK. Damn, Gina. Location: Portland, OR. · http://bllix.tumblr.com - 12,746 tweets. 501 following. 4,516 followers.

I'm watching a girl in a fight between HER 3 Twitter accounts. Not kidding. And to be honest, I ain't sure she's not actually crazy.

5 September 2012 Bill Mc7 ‏@BillMc7 [^171.21] https://twitter.com/BillMc7/status/243495989510541312 His bio and stats on 17 October 2012: Writer for Ladies' Home Journal and Penthouse Forum. Location: Los Angeles · http://bit.ly/AD2zT - 5,569 tweets. 1,377 following. 27,034 followers.

bllix explains:

It feels like I'm always diffusing internal conflicts with myself on the Internet.

5 September 2012 bllix S. Preston Esq ‏@bllixodus - https://twitter.com/bllixodus/status/243501143760707584 Her bio and stats on 6 May 2013: http://www.twitter.com/bllix - 176 tweets. 143 following. 518 followers. The same author posts as @bllix [^171.22], @tinybllix, @loudbllix and @bllixodus.

My Twitter accounts, the original cluster of all fucks

25 December 2012 bllix, the tinier ‏@tinybllix - https://twitter.com/tinybllix/status/283734727867916288 Her bio and stats on 3 January 2013: Yes, I'm @bllix. No, I'm not a bot. Yes, I'm also @loudbllix. No, I'm not schizophrenic. Yes, I'm real. No, I'm not a dude. Yes, I'm single. No, I'm busy later. Location: Portland, OR. · http://www.twitter.com/bllix - The same author posts as @bllix [^171.23], @tinybllix, @loudbllix and @bllixodus.

• • • • •

I'm unhappy. I need another twitter account.

9 October 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^171.24] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/255753924278116354 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 14,015 tweets. 3,128 following. 9,547 followers.

Settle down, people with more than one account.

No one even likes your first one.

28 December 2012 Jessica Rabbit. ‏@WickedSica - https://twitter.com/WickedSica/status/284881247992422401 Her Twitter bio and stats on 6 June 2013: I'm like @JessicaFancy but on acid. I wrote a poem: Fuck you. Location: Candyland. · favstar.fm/users/wickedsica - 3,659 tweets. 3,948 following. 4,453 Followers. She is being counted under another of her Twitter IDs: @JessicaFancy [^171.25].

So many accounts. So few friends.

6 December 2012 ShoutingGoddess ‏@ShoutingGoddess [^171.26] https://twitter.com/ShoutingGoddess/status/276869376697831425 Her bio and stats on 30 January 2013: Don't read this shit. Go read a book. 111,806 tweets. 2,569 following. 19,751 followers.

@bllix Hold me

23 November 2012 bllix, the tinier ‏@tinybllix - https://twitter.com/tinybllix/status/272109135133306881 Her bio and stats on 28 February 2013: Yes, I'm @bllix. No, I'm not a bot. Yes, I'm also @loudbllix. No, I'm not schizophrenic. Yes, I'm real. No, I'm not a dude. Yes, I'm single. No, I'm busy later. Location: Portland, OR. · http://www.twitter.com/bllix - 3,853 tweets. 199 following. 1,357 followers. The same author posts as @bllix [^171.27], @tinybllix, @loudbllix and @bllixodus.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  172. Staying inside

omg, it's so nice outside. I feel motivated to do something.

Mostly just close the blinds so there's no glare on my screen.

29 June 2012 llvvzz ‏@lvvzz [^172.1] https://twitter.com/lvvzz/status/218743919222063104 Her screen name, ID, bio and stats on 13 December 2012: PrincessCandyEmpire3 @lvvzz. I am not your perception of me. I control your perception of me. http://facebook.com/llvvzzz See @llvvzzz for #FF Tweet~Mates! http://llvvzz.com Tweets @llvvzz. Location: I Own A Chihuahua · http://favstar.fm/users/lvvzz - 208 tweets. 3,878 following. 3,945 followers.

At the time of the above tweet, its author maintained multiple accounts with similar screen names, IDs and profile images.

Fuck, I was gonna do some yard work but it was way too outside, outside.

27 June 2012 Corey Paterson ‏@Midgetspar [^172.2] https://twitter.com/Midgetspar/status/218102589122805761 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: People tell me I look just like Denzel Washington. I don't @ much 'cause I'm scared of people. Anxiety King. http://favstar.fm/users/Midgetspar/recent - Location: Oregon · http://audioboo.fm/Midgetspar - 32,437 tweets. 7,855 following. 11,269 followers.

Leaving the house is so retro.

8 October 2012 Natasha Leggero ‏@natashaleggero [^172.3] https://twitter.com/natashaleggero/status/255432795906768897 Her bio and stats on 1 November 2012: In need of thrills. Watch Burning Love! Location: Los Angeles · http://vimeo.com/29586301 - 1,422 tweets. 458 following. 150,096 followers.

Target can't even handle me right now

30 April 2012 Heather ‏@evilmensuck [^172.4] https://twitter.com/evilmensuck/status/197033638687289344 Her Twitter bio and stats on 11 June 2012: These things make you sound stupid. 9,581 tweets. 2,220 following. 2,292 followers. No account with this ID found on 12 May 2013.

A big shout-in to all the agoraphobics!

13 June 2012 Eminence Front ‏@tweetcomedian [^172.5] https://twitter.com/tweetcomedian/status/213047641016238080 His bio and stats on 7 March 2013: I have stagefright and a bottle of scotch. Location: stuck in the intergoogles · http://favstar.fm/users/tweetcomedian - 5,906 tweets. 2,599 following. 3,588 followers.

I am not agoraphobic. Some of my best friends are agoras.

12 March 2012 Bagyants ‏@Bagyants [^172.6] https://twitter.com/Bagyants/status/179212477635112960 His bio and stats on 23 November 2012: Some people grunt at the gym; I scream at the top of my lungs THEY KILLED MY FAMILY as I lift weights. Location: Kansas · http://favstar.fm/users/Bagyants - 486 tweets. 232 following. 6,086 followers.

SIR,

WE ARE REPORTING DANGEROUSLY LOW LEVELS OF HUMAN CONTACT

[I'm alone, hugging a pillow so hard the stuffing is coming out the seams]

9 March 2013 INTOLERANT JOKE POPE ‏@YUNGLIKEAHORSE [^172.7] https://twitter.com/YUNGLIKEAHORSE/status/310470689079570433 Bio and stats on 11 March 2013: SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED / / / JUNIOR LEAGUE BLOOD CULT. Location: THE DESERT OF THE REAL · favstar.fm/users/YUNGLIKEAHORSE - 8,640 tweets. 589 following. 1,813 followers.

Everyone's meeting someone. At least I have my disorders.

7 November 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^172.8] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/266104298998464512 Her bio: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 9,883 tweets. 1,988 following. 1,708 followers.

.@Walmart wheRe is my wife

20 July 2012 rob delaney ‏@robdelaney [^172.9] https://twitter.com/robdelaney/status/226451102831357952 His bio and stats on 5 November 2012: Comedian, Writer, 6'3 217lbs Get ROB DELANEY LIVE at the BOWERY BALLROOM for $5 at www.robdelaney.com Location: Los Angeles, CA · http://www.robdelaney.com - 11,840 tweets. 1,245 following. 653,482 followers.

An hour later:

oh no I spent the last 2 years inside a cellphone

20 July 2012 rob delaney ‏@robdelaney [^172.10] https://twitter.com/robdelaney/status/226468363793203200

His bio and stats on 5 November 2012: Comedian, Writer, 6'3 217lbs Get ROB DELANEY LIVE at the BOWERY BALLROOM for $5 at www.robdelaney.com Location: Los Angeles, CA · http://www.robdelaney.com - 11,840 tweets. 1,245 following. 653,482 followers.

Twitter: the internet's version of the prison yard.

2 March 2012 Just ileah ‏@ileahtogo - https://twitter.com/ileahtogo/status/175831602906136576 Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 26 November 2013: Sileah @_theigirl [^172.11] Working on training Octopuses as service animals: for when you absolutely need a shitload of stuff done at once. favstar.fm/users/_theigirl - 36,699 tweets. 5,571 following. 6,577 followers.

I think Twitter may be our get out of life card.

13 July 2012 ShoutingGoddess ‏@ShoutingGoddess [^172.12] https://twitter.com/ShoutingGoddess/status/223720093060841472 Her bio and stats on 5 November 2012: Don't read this shit. Go read a book. 101,615 tweets. 2,305 following. 16,629 followers.

I'm too busy hiding from my life to have one.

26 March 2014 Shea ‏@Glorificus917 [^172.13] https://twitter.com/Glorificus917/status/448876845317242880 Her bio and stats on 7 April 2014: There's no glitter in the gutter. http://Instagram.com/badkittie917 - Location: Marietta/Atl, GA. http://favstar.fm/users/Glorificus917 - 13,898 tweets. 823 following. 2,006 followers.

My lifestyle isn't much different from a rock's.

17 February 2013 hello jeannie ‏@LaJeannieBean [^172.14] https://twitter.com/LaJeannieBean/status/303055464818696195 Her bio: crimes lady. Location: Desert. 4,747 tweets. 375 following. 2,078 followers.

time to put on pants

8 January 2014 NYT Minus Context ‏@NYTMinusContext [^172.15] https://twitter.com/NYTMinusContext/status/420981006590812160 Bio and stats on 17 January 2014: All Tweets Verbatim From New York Times Content. Not Affiliated with New York Times. Follow @NYTPlusContext for context. NYTMinusContext@gmail.com - 1,244 tweets. 911 following. 10.854 followers.

The New York Times @nytimes [^172.16] Twitter bio and stats on 17 January 2014: Where the conversation begins. Follow for breaking news, special reports, http://NYTimes.com homepage links and RTs of our journalists. Location: New York City · nytimes.com -124,082 tweets. 854 following. 10,681,262 followers.

leave me alone internet i'm trying to go outside

23 August 2012 lauren ashley bishop ‏@sbellelauren [^172.17] https://twitter.com/sbellelauren/status/238674509857693696 Her bio and stats on 1 February 2013: i'm a comedian from arkansas. i live in LA. but i comede all over. http://witstream.com please & thank you http://favstar.fm/users/sbellelauren - http://weakendupdate.tumblr.com – Location: hollywood · http://laurenashleybishop.tumblr.com/ - 9,879 tweets. 999 following. 35,118 followers.

I have clothes on.

15 September 2012 Tabster ‏@Scientits [^172.18] https://twitter.com/Scientits/status/246977076643631105 Her bio: Insatiably sci-curious. Gin aficionado. Pocket Venus. Plane-missing twit. Orgy-prone. Feisty when wet. Location: London Town. 24,338 tweets. 793 following. 846 followers.

You look very outside today.

21 February 2014 Friedrice Nietzsche @TinyNietzsche [^172.19] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/436894199070208000 Bio and stats on 22 March 2014: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 18,169 tweets. 755 following. 31,962 followers.

I don't know

*looks outside*

it seems like a lot to ask.

21 September 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^172.20] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/381447826795806720 Twitter bio and stats on 30 December 2013 for this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 17,120 tweets. 729 following. 28,655 followers.

**Never go outside. RT** @ **brookejarvis Working outside, where a bird just shat on my laptop.**

4:21 p.m. 16 April 2013 Erik Loomis ‏@ErikLoomis [^172.21] https://twitter.com/brookejarvis/status/324301604629143552 His bio: Environment. Labor. Left. Beer. Baseball. Oregon. History. Music. Film. Oddities. Rhode Island. Forests. Metaphor. Blogger at Lawyers, Guns, and Money. Location: Providence, RI · http://lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com - 9,626 tweets. 406 following. 1,352 followers.

Reply:

@ErikLoomis **That's the lesson I'm learning.**

4:21 p.m. 16 April 2013 Brooke Jarvis ‏@brookejarvis [^172.22] https://twitter.com/brookejarvis/status/324301604629143552 Her bio: Freelance writer (Rolling Stone, Aeon, Atlantic, Grist, Sierra...), editor/consultant (Planetary), contributing ed (YES! Magazine). Currently of the Puget Sound. Location: Seattle, WA · http://brookejarvis.info - 12,717 tweets. 1,624 following. 5,456 followers.

Her original tweet:

Working outside, where a bird just shat on my laptop.

4:18 p.m. 16 April 2013 Brooke Jarvis ‏@brookejarvis [^172.23] https://twitter.com/brookejarvis/status/324300891849121793 Her bio: Freelance writer (Rolling Stone, Aeon, Atlantic, Grist, Sierra...), editor/consultant (Planetary), contributing ed (YES! Magazine). Currently of the Puget Sound. Location: Seattle, WA · http://brookejarvis.info - 12,717 tweets. 1,624 following. 5,456 followers.

Tweeted on the first warm afternoon of spring. Both writers cover environmental topics and extol the virtues of nature.

Visulize real life but from indoors.

17 April 2013 Rack on Tour ‏@BabetteJones [^172.24] https://twitter.com/BabetteJones/status/324698486446637057 Bio and stats on 21 April 2013: Kiss me I'm Irish ~ Eat me I'm Danish ~ I like comedy, bondage, archery and squirrels. Location: Seattle Wa USA · http://favstar.fm/users/babettejones/recent - 9,601 tweets. 1,952 following. 1,684 followers.

I don't need to go outside to experience epic nature because computer wallpapers.

3 February 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^172.25] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/297656793428017152 Her bio and stats on 21 February 2013: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 13,087 tweets. 1,978 following. 2,000 followers.

I'm gonna go outside ok I'm back

27 October 2012 truthNSoul ‏@mrtruthandsoul [^172.26] https://twitter.com/mrtruthandsoul/status/262324720572174336 Bio: say hello to my little friends... Location: handicap stall · http://favstar.fm/users/mrtruthandsoul/recent - 41,059 tweets. 9,298 following. 8,729 followers.

I went outside once. The graphics aren't that good.

8 June 2012 Dee ‏@dee_md7 - https://twitter.com/dee_md7/status/211167053636308993 Her Twitter screen name, ID and bio on 19 December 2013: Demi @demi_md7 [^172.27] Forget love, WINE conquers all. I always keep my head, heels, and standards high!! In a dirrrrty affair with Medicine. Location: South Africa. 23,895 tweets. 913 following. 1,266 followers.

Oh what a glorious morning, let me just take a moment to close the curtains.

13 November 2012 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^172.28] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/268589615743660032 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,223 tweets. 1,918 following. 1,773 followers.

it's so nice out I'm thinking of buying a coffin

29 March 2012 Nads Warhole @WhoCuppedMyCake [^172.29] https://twitter.com/#!/WhoCuppedMyCake/status/185495261915791360 Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 27 June 2013: Debbie Harry Cooter @WhoCuppedMyCake - http://twtvite.com/Thehangover_yyc I've quelled uprisings. WICKEDNINJACUPCAKES Avi by @galiamango http://favstar.fm/users/WhoCuppedMyCake/recent - Location: Planet Of Sound · http://www.etsy.com/shop/rickwestonart - 49,024 tweets. 3,740 following. 11,233 followers.

If Twitter stresses you out just wait until you go outside and have people messing with you in 3D.

23 May 2013 The Dork ‏@The_Dorkster [^172.30] https://twitter.com/The_Dorkster/status/337360500293791744 His bio and stats on 23 May 2013: Married to @Dorkstress | I've said all of this out loud | Every Tweet contains at least 10% truth. *CATS ARE DICKS* · thedorksside.blogspot.com - 60,975 tweets. 1,004 following. 12,902 followers.

Well, the people outside are frightful.

23 December 2013 Steve Mieczkowski ‏@IGotsSmarts [^172.31] https://twitter.com/IGotsSmarts/status/415228719758716928 Bio: I only have 26 letters to work with. Don't expect any miracles. In real life I'm a producer at a TV station. Don't judge me. Location: Albuquerque, NM. 7,494 tweets. 789 following. 11,181 followers.

"Okay, I'm gonna go try and meet IRL people!" I say, skipping out the door. I return one hour later covered in blood, "NnnnnnnnnnnnnnnNOPE."

6 January 2013 (swag)hag(swag) ‏@swaghagswag [^172.32] https://twitter.com/swaghagswag/status/288111456422072322 Her bio and stats on 14 January 2013: How would you like to be indefinitely bothered by my every aside? http://favstar.fm/users/swaghagswag - 1,796 tweets. 204 following. 489 followers.

I went on a

11 September 2012 McGoober ‏@LaBambaMcDoodle \- https://twitter.com/LaBambaMcDoodle/status/245758523143778304 On 2 September 2013 her account was found to have been set to private, with this new Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats: doodle @Gooberforce [^172.33] I like taking long walks on the beach and poking dead things with a stick. 4,626 tweets. 735 following. 874 followers.

@LaBambaMcDoodle **killing spree**

11 September 2012 Justin Sane ‏@efyrtscw [^172.34] https://twitter.com/efyrtscw/status/245759531961954304 Bio: I have no recollection of my past. Location: The Dungeon Of Doom. 2,509 tweets. 460 following. 592 followers.

I went outside and now my eyes hurt because of that giant, burning ball of "what the fuck."

2 April 2012 Alene Parr ‏@aleneparr [^172.35] https://twitter.com/#!/aleneparr/status/186914374185787393 Her bio and stats on 27 November 2012: Psychology Student. Sweatervest Enthusiast. Professional Cynic. Cheese Connoisseur. This is stuff I think about. http://favstar.fm/users/aleneparr - Location: Ontario · http://alenetalks.blogspot.ca/ - 6,830 tweets. 4,513 following. 7,090 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 12 August 2013: I couldn't quit Twitter. Location: Ontario · alenetalks.blogspot.ca. 8,957 tweets. 2,338 following. 6,744 followers.

There's lots of people walking around outside. It's like none of them have a Twitter account.

13 July 2012 Jeni Scagnetti ‏@JeniScagnetti [^172.36] https://twitter.com/JeniScagnetti/status/223873622022963202 Her bio and stats on 10 April 2013: In the history of language, the first obscenity was silence. Billionaire · http://favstar.fm/users/JeniScagnetti/recent - 19,773 tweets. 539 following. 10,422 followers.

**According to this NYC sidewalk, a lot of people should be getting texts that say "walking super-slow right now lol"**.

10 July 2012 Alex Baze ‏@bazecraze [^172.37] https://twitter.com/bazecraze/status/222730008752427009 His bio and stats on 23 November 2012: Cynical shell. Soft, chewy center. Location: NYC. 5,989 tweets. 535 following. 52,032 followers.

wow, faces!

17 February 2013 ♦QUEEN♦OF♦DIAMONDS♦ ‏@jazzminus [^172.38] https://twitter.com/jazzminus/status/303245646117359616 Bio and stats on 19 February 2013: just a modern girl trying to amass a small fortune in diamonds from her wealthy male suitors (that's misandry!). 8,569 tweets. 139 following. 159 followers.

I love being out in public and doing things until I remember that things are dumb and I hate everyone.

9 May 2012 Unicorn Glitter Tits ‏@uniglittertits [^172.39] https://twitter.com/uniglittertits/status/200353831828201472 Her bio and stats on 5 May 2013: Bio is short for biology. Location: Texas America · theimpersonals.com - 6,739 tweets. 815 following. 9,644 followers.

Once again I am made to regret leaving the house

7 August 2013 donni ‏@donni [^172.40] https://twitter.com/donni/status/365321414816972800 Bio: I'm Donni Saphire. So what? Comedysayer. Available to do your thing. Joke packet submitter. Second City baby. Also TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com ). Cuddly. Chicago city limits · favstar.fm/users/donni/recent - 10,538 tweets. 903 following. 32,990 followers.

I went outside for like 20 minutes yesterday and today my skin is peeling off.

LESSON LEARNED.

27 July 2012 hello jeannie ‏@LaJeannieBean [^172.41] https://twitter.com/LaJeannieBean/status/228968288670068736 Her bio and stats on 17 February 2013: crimes lady. Location: Desert. 4,747 tweets. 375 following. 2,078 followers.

Thanks to depletion of the atmosphere's stratospheric ozone layer, damage to unprotected melanin-deprived skin can occur within fifteen minutes of exposure to the mid-day sun.

I'm not very good at sunlight.

19 November 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^172.42] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/402883153980702721 Twitter bio and stats on 21 November 2013 of this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 16,371 tweets. 726 following. 27,435 followers.

The four stages of me leaving my house:

1) hatred

2) regret

3) sadness

4) acceptance

22 October 2013 Shea Burnham ‏@Glorificus917 [^172.43] https://twitter.com/Glorificus917/status/392778034467864576 Her Twitter bio: You suck and I'm awesome. Instagram: Badkittie917 Location: Marietta/Atl, GA · favstar.fm/users/Glorificus917 - 12,604 tweets. 814 following. 1,999 followers.

Whatever, people who are fit to be in public. It's all yours.

9 October 2012 Fox Moulder ‏@scaffoldjocky [^172.44] https://twitter.com/scaffoldjocky/status/255784429274927104 His bio and stats on 15 February 2013: Former drug runner from Uraguay and severed appendage specialist. Father of one awesome fish with @roxyisrad. Role model and part time father to @Starfull. Location: Valparaiso, In · favstar.fm/users/scaffoldjockey - 12,245 tweets. 1,174 following. 1,853 followers.

I love my padded room.

1 November 2013 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^172.45] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/396517404634664960 Bio: i was born 'n stuff. Location: Hanging out in my garage. · favstar.fm/users/RobotThomas - 55,519 tweets. 8,677 following. 8,098 followers.

**My ancient family motto,** _Deseram Domum_ **(Never leave the House), proves more wise and prophetic by the day.**

17 April 2013 The Bosha ‏@TheBosha [^172.46] https://twitter.com/TheBosha/status/324758945812082688 His bio: You little punks think you own this town. http://thebosha.tumblr.com/ · http://www.witstream.com/#jim_bosha - 14,858 tweets. 547 following. 12,582 followers. Italics added.

Reality is so demoralizing.

26 July 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^172.47] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/228670763316695040 His bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,477 tweets. 3,154 following. 9,233 followers.

I don't know about outside.

Maybe if I was better at weather or standing.

8 October 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^172.48] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/387611714432159744 Twitter bio and stats on 30 December 2013 for this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 17,120 tweets. 729 following. 28,655 followers.

Leaving Hamburg now. Was good to visit a new country, sit in a new hotel room, and hang around in Twitter and Facebook.

22 January 2014 Ramesh Srivats ‏@rameshsrivats [^172.49] https://twitter.com/rameshsrivats/status/425944003884748800 Bio: Armchair thinker, excessive drinker, occasional writer, wants to be lighter. Location: Bangalore, India · tententen.in – 15,538 tweets. 212 following. 158,325 followers.

I see no reason to ruin a perfectly good day like today by talking to people.

14 July 2012 Chris Angel ‏@TheChrisAngel [^172.50] https://twitter.com/TheChrisAngel/status/224117270799056896 Twitter bio and stats on 18 July 2012: Recording artist. Singer/Songwriter. Eater of Skittles. My wife married an idiot. My name is Chris. Location: Ottawa. 16,906 tweets. 695 following. 5,671 followers. No account with this ID found on 8 June 2013.

Walk up in the club like "what's the wifi password here?"

23 April 2013 Joses Martin ‏@JosesLovesYou [^172.51] https://twitter.com/JosesLovesYou/status/328023203228291073 His Twitter bio and stats on 20 September 2013; ve got like five favs now from @duplicitron. Location: Edmonton, AB · http://favstar.fm/users/JosesLovesYou/tweets_of_the_day - 5,771 tweets. 1,818 following. 3,482 followers.

Let's be in the same room while we text other people! - hanging out, 21st century style

29 January 2012 Artur Bagyants @Bagyants [^172.52] https://twitter.com/#!/Bagyants/status/163751107233984514 His bio and stats on 23 November 2012: Some people grunt at the gym; I scream at the top of my lungs THEY KILLED MY FAMILY as I lift weights. Location: Kansas · http://favstar.fm/users/Bagyants - 486 tweets. 232 following. 6,086 followers.

I'm In A Social Situation Get Me Out Of Here

26 November 2013 Ed Lee ‏@smedlee [^172.53] https://twitter.com/smedlee/status/405587903528464387 Bio: Writer for the teevee and other stuff. From Jersey. In LA. Location: Los Angeles, CA · favstar.fm/users/smedlee - 2,193 tweets. 886 following. 2,701 followers.

" **I used to say that the only thing better than being alone was to be seriously in love.** "

—Jack Gilbert via @parisreview

2 June 2013 midtowngirl ‏@_Midtowngirl [^172.54] https://twitter.com/_Midtowngirl/status/341382179810594816 Her bio: Investment Banking.100% Nerd. @Columbia alum. Native NY'er (Born & Raised on the Upper West Side) with typical cynical outlook on life only true NYers have. Location: Midtown, Manhattan. 13,730 tweets. 252 following. 574 followers.

Jack Gilbert [^172.55], 1925-2012. No Twitter ID found on 1 September 2013.

Twitter bio and stats on 2 September 2013 for The Paris Review @parisreview [^172.56] Quarterly literary magazine founded in 1953. Managed by @alvarez_justin. Location: New York, NY · theparisreview.org. 10,059 tweets. 2,271 following. 318,569 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  173. Having a charged phone

My phone will no longer hold a charge. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time. Maybe send me some cheesecake. That will help.

31 July 2012 Chrisanna4real ‏@chrisanna4real [^173.1] https://twitter.com/chrisanna4real/status/230414827003203584 Her bio and stats on 27 October 2012: I RT A LOT. My life will make you laugh. I'm drunk a lot. Beer me. Most at home in @chopper4jk's pants and my best girl is @the_martinigirl. IG: chrisanna4real Location: So Cal, that's all you get. · http://favstar.fm/users/chrisanna4real - 31,994 tweets. 9,265 following. 17,404 followers.

Basic human senses: touch, taste, sight, smell, hearing, remaining mobile battery life.

6 August 2012 Martin Geddes ‏@martingeddes [^173.2] https://twitter.com/martingeddes/status/232412547263897600 His bio and stats on 16 April 2013: Telecoms strategy consultant with special interests in network performance engineering, polyservice networks, and hypervoice technology. Location: London · http://www.martingeddes.com/ - 9,982 tweets. 1,484 following. 2,197 followers. Martin Geddes tweets about the future of voice and communication.

Home is where the phone charger is.

11 July 2012 Stepahanie Disaster ‏@DreamExplosive [^173.3] https://twitter.com/DreamExplosive/status/223055326361030656 Her Twitter bio and stats on 7 August 2013: Nerd. Spontaneously combusts. Kill your expectations before they kill you. Works in a mental hospital. Known to bite when excited. This bio is radioactive. Location: ☆ Southeast, US ☆ · favstar.fm/users/DreamExplosive - 15,039 tweets. 843 following. 1,450 followers.

Sext: I found your phone charger.

26 July 2012 plzstopfollowingme ‏@imence2 [^173.4] https://twitter.com/imence2/status/228631441402105856 His screen name, bio and stats on 23 February 2013: Cobrad - There's a lot of things in my real life bio I'd like to erase. Having a best friend like @RandomlyMJ is one I lucky to be able to write. Location: Talking to @Jermhimselfish · http://favstar.fm/users/imence2/recent - 32,743 tweets. 975 following. 8,922 followers.

Since twitter, I don't go from home to car to work to car to home I go from charger to charger to charger to charger to charger

29 June 2011 That Stings @thatstings [^173.5] https://twitter.com/thatstings/status/86179788104019968 His stats on 12 November 2012: The Peanut Gallery · http://favstar.fm/users/thatstings/recent - 8,460 tweets. 3,001 following. 9,475 followers.

If nothing else, joining Twitter has taught me where every electrical socket is in every room in the house.

24 June 2012 Fluffy Suse ‏@fluffysuse [^173.6] https://twitter.com/fluffysuse/status/217023536856969216 Her bio and stats on 11 November 2012: Prolific giggler. Inane chatterer. Fan of hyperbole. Lover of watermelon. Swears when drunk. And sober. Location: bed, mostly · http://favstar.fm/users/fluffysuse - 19,234 tweets. 1,137 following. 4,620 followers.

After a long weekend without your phone, you learn what's really important in life.

Your phone.

4 September 2012 Shari Vanderwerf ‏@shariv67 [^173.7] https://twitter.com/shariv67/status/242980158666055681 Her bio and stats on 27 October 2012: My work has appeared on Comedy Central, Cartoon Network, VH1, E!, film festivals and major publications. Comedian & Writer · http://www.sharivanderwerf.com - 11,392 tweets. 3,551 following. 24,593 followers.

Nomophobia **(anxiety caused by being without one's mobile phone)**

14 November 2012 Eat My Words ‏@eatmywords [^173.8] https://twitter.com/eatmywords/status/268831962649726978 Bio: SF branding firm that specializes in super sticky names like Neato robotic vacuum, Spoon Me frozen yogurt, and Retriever GPS for dogs. Location: Embarcadero 4, San Francisco · http://www.eatmywords.com - 1,032 tweets. 736 following. 742 followers. Underlining added.

I forgot my phone at home today. This is not my suicide note but it's a very very solemn tweet from a computer.

6 November 2012 El nacho Nigré ‏@El_nacho_Nigre [^173.9] https://twitter.com/El_nacho_Nigre/status/265776543295492096 His bio: Maybe I should just leave this part blank. http://favstar.fm/users/El_nacho_Nigre/recent - 32,474 tweets. 3,147 following. 3,549 followers.

• • • • •

Romantic Tweet

Bad Joke Tweet

Bad Marriage Related Tweet

I Hate Favstar Tweet

Cry For Help Tweet

Suicide Note Uploaded To Twitpic

29 March 2013 Mr. Silence ‏@teamsilence32 [^173.10] https://twitter.com/teamsilence32/status/317878276209127424 His bio: ○┼ŦEλM▽$łŁE₦₡E┼○ ║█║▌║█║▌│║▌║▌█║ :[:=:]: ⇝ ⇪ ¯`v´¯) .`·. ¸ ..·´¨ .·*¨) (¸.·´ (¸. ´ .·´ ¸ . ║█║▌║█║▌│║▌║▌█║ Location: ====Texas==== · http://favstar.fm/users/teamsilence32 - 46,325 tweets. 2,222 following. 2,032 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  174. Social media suicide

Can I have a new Twitter, please? I've made a mess of this one.

12 March 2013 Kay Morgan @KayM77 [^174.1] https://twitter.com/KayM77/status/311448616604663809 Her bio and stats on 14 March 2013: I'm on Twitter. 18,872 tweets. 248 following. 1,615 followers.

I would never twittercide because then it would take a few extra minutes to log back in.

31 May 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^174.2] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/208393160500588544 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 14,015 tweets. 3,128 following. 9,547 followers.

Instant reply:

@nerdamage **never log out.**

31 May 2012 Sweet P ‏@preawsaurus [^174.3] https://twitter.com/preawsaurus/status/208393317682126848

Her bio and stats on 8 November 2012: i am nice. at least that's the way i perceive myself. i could be wrong. Location: Tellus · http://favstar.fm/users/preawsaurus/most_retweeted - 12,197 tweets. 910 following. 8,090 followers.

HOLY SHIT!! **Did you know you can sign out without deleting your account?**

14 June 2012 Puddin Warhole ‏@PuddingBoobs [^174.4] https://twitter.com/puddingboobs/status/213383621795524610 Her bio and stats on 2 November 2012: passive-aggressive, stage 7 clinger, all around terrible person. I'm the reason we can't have nice things. Location: Minneapolis, MN. 6,835 tweets. 794 following. 16,690 followers.

20 more followers till I twittercide.

For 2 minutes

3 tops.

29 August 2012 ☠Dead Soul Walking☠ ‏@That_Damn_Duck [^174.5] https://twitter.com/That_Damn_Duck/status/240801868698251264 His bio and stats on 7 November 2012: A horrible person who's an Êv¡£ Genius & sarcasm specialist. AudioBoo & Instagram same name. Blocked by @snooki @ItalianBratikus is rents this space. Location: Lake Murray, South Carolina · http://favstar.fm/users/That_Damn_Duck/recent - 3,496 tweets. 993 following. 9,371 followers.

Instead of Twitterciding, I've decided to let Twitter be involved in every part of my life that matters, and see how happy it makes everyone

21 January 2013 *Literally* ‏@litramarie [^174.6] https://twitter.com/litramarie/status/293412865933709313 Her bio: I *really* hate this place sometimes. Location: SoCal · favstar.fm/users/litramarie - 15,462 tweets. 1,533 following. 4,383 followers. Underlining added.

I would just like to know that you guys are the best strangers I have ever encountered...

-A twittercide letter, probably.

19 September 2012 D ‏@ddscrap [^174.7] https://twitter.com/ddscrap/status/248367235926724608 Her screen name, bio and stats on 29 January 2013: ddscrap - Don't disturb me. I'm trying to become a better bum. Location: Searching... 1,071 tweets. 535 following. 3,035 followers.

Guys.. I've had a lot of fun on twitter, but it's time to go.

Be well.

Ok, I'm back now.

I couldn't stand to be without you. So, what up?

22 August 2012 That Stings @thatstings [^174.8] https://twitter.com/thatstings/status/237979598556643328 His stats on 12 November 2012: The Peanut Gallery · http://favstar.fm/users/thatstings/recent - 8,460 tweets. 3,001 following. 9,475 followers.

I think some people might be confusing twittercide with battery life.

18 February 2012 J ‏@Lipgloss_Nerd [^174.9] https://twitter.com/lipgloss_nerd/status/171038930651725824 Her screen name, bio and stats on 4 March 2013: That Horrible Girl - @UluwatuSiap and I are no longer here. Perhaps we never really were. Unfollow guilt free. Location: Island of Delusions. 1,528 tweets. 628 following. 6,430 followers. Bio and stats on 4 March 2013 of That Rude Cunt @UluwatuSiap - @Lipgloss_Nerd and I are no longer here. Perhaps we never really were. Unfollow guilt free. Location: Island of Delusions. 2,350 tweets. 737 following. 9,441 followers. The last tweets from both accounts were dated 9 December 2012.

I would never twittercide unless I wanted to take a nap.

6 October 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^174.10] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/254477346961231872 His bio: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,477 tweets. 3,154 following. 9,233 followers.

When I finally decide to Twittercide, I am going to spend a whole year talking about it & saying my good-byes & then return one day later.

29 February 2012 Tetley6969 ‏@Tetley6969 [^174.11] https://twitter.com/Tetley6969/status/174832129400770560 Location and stats on 15 March 2013: Canada · http://favstar.fm/users/tetley6969 - 22,824 tweets. 4,594 following. 7,862 followers.

I'm baaaaack!

17 July 2012 Veronica Grace ‏@ronigrace [^174.12] https://twitter.com/ronigrace/status/225375710083153920

Her account the day before: Veronica ‏@RoniGrace. On 7 August 2013, her second account (@ronigrace) was found to have been abandoned and the ID taken over by someone else.

thank you, people that announce their return to twitter, as your absence has totally been noticed and i haven't slept since you left.

4 December 2012 Shael ‏@5hael [^174.13] https://twitter.com/5hael/status/275931397242355712 His bio and stats on 15 March 2013: views are either of your employer or stolen, from inside your brain. 5th of july 2013 tweetup in brisbane http://twtvite.com/tweetvegas #tweetvegas – Location: Brisbane, Australia · http://favstar.fm/users/5hael/recent - 22,337 tweets. 1,588 following. 6,982 followers.

You've never lived if you've never twittercided.

25 June 2012 Token_smile ‏@Bashfullsmile [^174.14] https://twitter.com/bashfullsmile/status/217377420548898817 No bio on 17 November 2012, only: http://favstar.fm/users/Bashfullsmile/recent - 27,954 tweets. 1,578 following. 3,637 followers.

I'm actually embarrassed about how long my Twitter hiatus didn't last.

11 July 2013 Alene ‏@aleneparr [^174.15] https://twitter.com/aleneparr/status/355536095791939585 Her Twitter bio and stats on 12 August 2013: I couldn't quit Twitter. Location: Ontario · alenetalks.blogspot.ca. 8,957 tweets. 2,338 following. 6,744 followers.

Alene was tweeting up a storm on her first day back in four days (since 7 July 2013 PDT). She also tried to quit from 11 June 2013 until 7 July 2013.

Sneaking back here after your twittercide.

\- The Twitter Walk of Shame

10 May 2013 Token Geezer ‏@Token_Geezer [^174.16] https://twitter.com/Token_Geezer/status/332814756501155841 Bio: I'm just a minor threat. London · http://favstar.fm/users/Token_Geezer \- 40,513 tweets. 928 following. 14,187 followers.

Alright, which one of you idiots reactivated your account? Show yourself.

29 November 2012 Kim ‏@Kimpulses [^174.17] https://twitter.com/Kimpulses/status/274341086976163840 Her bio and stats on 10 December 2012: I'm not a doctor, but I think there's something wrong with you. Location: Ontario, Canada · http://favstar.fm/users/Kimpulses - 7,027 tweets. 409 following. 5,670 followers.

Today is a very special day.

12 August 2013 Ethar El-Katatney ‏@etharkamal [^174.18] https://twitter.com/etharkamal/status/366680889209532417 Her Twitter bio: Cynical, international-award-winning journalist. MA, MBA. Apathetic bookworm. Sarcastic author. Jaded but still slightly quixotic Ibn Battuta Wannabe. Location: Cairo, Egypt. · etharelkatatney.wordpress.com. 22,087 tweets. 1,385 following. 41,369 followers.

This was Ethar's first tweet since 2 November 2012, ending an absence that was not pre-announced. Rather than twitterciding, Ethar merely ceased to tweet.

Then:

Guess who's back? Back again? (That's me, not Shady). Hullo, twitter world, I have missed thee!

12 August 2013 Ethar El-Katatney ‏@etharkamal [^174.19] https://twitter.com/etharkamal/status/366681156344741889 Her Twitter bio: Cynical, international-award-winning journalist. MA, MBA. Apathetic bookworm. Sarcastic author. Jaded but still slightly quixotic Ibn Battuta Wannabe. Location: Cairo, Egypt. · etharelkatatney.wordpress.com. 22,087 tweets. 1,385 following. 41,369 followers.

This is Ethar's second tweet since 2 November 2012. The first tweet only attracted a single star and retweet. The second tweet garnered more attention, quickly accumulating six stars and numerous replies welcoming her back.

So the people who come back after they twittercide are twitter zombies right?

18 August 2012 Muath ‏@Muath_tu [^174.20] https://twitter.com/Muath_tu/status/236969767066546177 His location and stats on 8 December 2012: Saudi Arabia - Jeddah · http://favstar.fm/users/Muath_tu/recent - 5,671 tweets. 488 following. 6,523 followers. No Twitter account with this ID found on 7 August 2013.

Seems like I'll end up signing out of life before I sign out of Twitter.

1 August 2012 Noor Shamma ‏@NoorShamma [^174.21] https://twitter.com/noorshamma/status/230745313076465664 Her bio and stats on 13 February 2013: I don't cry. No one's worth my boogers. http://noorshamma.tumblr.com [Instagram: noorshamma] Location: Not Found · favstar.fm/users/NoorShamma - 4,775 tweets. 785 following. 5,324 followers. "Not found" are her words in her profile.

you may have overestimated the effect of using twittercide as a threat.

3 September 2012 sweet p ‏@preawsaurus [^174.22] https://twitter.com/preawsaurus/status/242867690702794752 Her bio and stats on 8 November 2012: i am nice. at least that's the way i perceive myself. i could be wrong. Location: Tellus · http://favstar.fm/users/preawsaurus/most_retweeted - 12,197 tweets. 910 following. 8,090 followers.

You know how you can tell when someone has really Twittercided& won't be back???

They don't tweet about it first. They just silently go.

11 July 2012 PUNTED CUNT FACE ‏@SaraESpivey [^174.23] https://twitter.com/saraespivey/status/223284224776617984 Her bio and stats on 6 November 2012: When it all comes down to it....Im funnier than you. If u dont like me, feel free to kick rocks. @shellyspivey completes me. @LizzieBphat is my accomplice · http://favstar.fm/users/SaraESpivey/recent - 137,405 tweets. 2,455 following. 12,248 followers. Underlining added.

I haven't seen a Spivey tweet in 2 minutes. Anyone checking on them?

19 July 2012 Classic Pete ‏@Petey__E [^174.24] https://twitter.com/Petey__E/status/225745815195508736 His Twitter bio and stats on ‏19 July 2012: My therapist diagnosed me with adult ADD. At least that's what my wife says. I was in the waiting room playing with trucks. Location: Illinois. 912 tweets. 421 following. 1,781 followers. On 12 January 2014 this account was found to have possibly undergone a change of control, with this screen name, bio and stats: Peter Erhardt @Petey__E – MA - 1 tweet. 1 following. 0 followers.

The Spivey sisters, Sara and Shelly, clawed their way onto the leaderboards with unending streams of tweets and retweets.

Tweet something conceited so we know you're ok.

3 October 2012 Crank Paul ‏@sunexplode [^174.25] https://twitter.com/sunexplode/status/253497045061603329 His bio and stats on 11 October 2012: Hobbie: Microwaving plastic toys from childhood, yours, not mine. Location: Make it stop! · http://favstar.fm/users/sunexplode/recent - 1,284 tweets. 383 following. 588 followers. His bio and stats on 30 October 2012: fragment processor. Location: Toronto, PATH food court tour · http://favstar.fm/users/sunexplode/recent - 1,848 tweets. 813 following. 1,096 followers.

Send subtweet.

Sext partners trophy it.

How many?

Five?

Win twitter.

Twittercide.

16 July 2012 ChemFickenDammt ‏@ChemBtwnUs [^174.26] https://twitter.com/ChemBtwnUs/status/224969889398538240 His bio: That monster inside me is no dark passenger, friend. It's the fucking driver. 14,714 tweets. 5,007 following. 6,354 followers. He was exchanging tweets with @FrauFickenDammt that day, hence his pseudonymous screen name.

I want to be the reason you Twittercide.

24 November 2012 NoLuckWanted ‏@NoLuckWanted [^174.27] https://twitter.com/NoLuckWanted/status/272323613070336000 Twitter bio and stats on 28 February 2013 for NoLuckWanted @NoLuckWanted - You say immoral; I say make it a double. Uncensored account for @NoLuckNeeded ♣ http://favstar.fm/users/NoLuckWanted - Location: Waterfront Bar · http://favstar.fm/users/NoLuckWanted/recent - 18,932 tweets. 7,508 following. 19,057 followers.

I want to be the reason this tweet format is no longer used.

4 December 2012 The Dork ‏@The_Dorkster [^174.28] https://twitter.com/The_Dorkster/status/276009506226438145 Bio: Just picture Linus, but with a cellphone instead of a blanket|Married to @Dorkstress MANUAL RT = BLOCK · favstar.fm/users/The_Dorkster - 43,799 tweets. 9,194 following. 9,196 followers.

It's not true love unless you both twittercide

25 July 2012 Token Geezer ‏@Token_Geezer [^174.29] https://twitter.com/token_geezer/status/228049961357570049 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I'm just a minor threat. Location: London · http://favstar.fm/users/Token_Geezer - 30,079 tweets. 862 following. 8,334 followers.

"I'd give up twitter for you." is the new "I'd die for you." None of us are really going to do it, we just say it to be romantic.

2 August 2012 lady balls ‏@goodballs [^174.30] https://twitter.com/goodballs/status/231105206056800256 Her screen name, bio and stats on 15 March 2013: ephing adoraballs @goodballs I could be the most powerful wizard to exist but I spend all my time on spells to create snow and make my eyelashes longer. Location: St. Louis, Missouri · goodballs.wordpress.com. - 5,427 tweets. 1,418 following. 17,676 followers.

I'd quit twitter for you... And then open an account you don't know about.

20 August 2012 Angela ‏@AngelaEhh [^174.31] https://twitter.com/angelaehh/status/237732051300786176 Her Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 20 December 2013: Angehh McSugarehh @AngelaEhh - Is your ass jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth? Do NOT take me serious you donkey. BFF's with @codemandriller he just doesn't know it yet. Location: Alberta, Canada · favstar.fm/users/AngelaEhh/recent - 43,836 tweets. 11,263 following. 28,514 followers.

It's probably easier to get out of a gang or escape from a cult than it is to successfully quit twitter.

12 October 2012 Miss Fuckalicious ‏@PyrBliss [^174.32] https://twitter.com/PyrBliss/status/256821826884349952 Her bio and stats on 24 October 2012: Swearing on Twitter is my anti-drug. Come for the cuteness, stay for the rage. I say FUCK! a lot. Location: In your pocket · http://favstar.fm/users/PyrBliss - 2,866 tweets. 842 following. 25,816 followers. She experienced a Twitter hiatus from 13 June 2012 until 29 September 2012.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  175. Primary relationships intervene

Define "no more Twitter or I will leave you."

22 April 2012 Amy ‏@YesThatAmy [^175.1] https://twitter.com/YesThatAmy/status/194183366067757056 Her bio and stats on 29 December 2012: Lover of beer. Hater of clowns. Sarcasmic. I'm the boss of those people at that place. favstar.fm/users/YesThatAmy - 2,485 tweets. 1,454 following. 3,808 followers.

I'm having trouble deleting your account. Please help.

24 July 2012 \\(o_0)/ ‏@MiloKilledPunk [^175.2] https://twitter.com/MiloKilledPunk/status/227781626929770496

No bio. 12,420 tweets. 1,109 following. 929 followers.

They thought it was a simple case of Twittercide, but the authorities found a broken keyboard and a note that said, "I did you a favor."

12 April 2012 Not the Lord ‏@byronblurb [^175.3] https://twitter.com/#!/byronblurb/status/190352020350316544 His bio and stats on 2 November 2012: skilled at the art of changing the subject; unlimited fountain of useless nonsense; usually able to finish 2 cheeseburgers with no problem. Location: Close enough to come visit. · http://www.favstar.fm/users/byronblurb/recent - 10,007 tweets. 5,593 following. 6,024 followers.

I see a freak electrical fire in your future.

19 July 2012 FrauFickenDammt ‏@FrauFickenDammt [^175.4] https://twitter.com/fraufickendammt/status/226159932729327616 Her bio and stats on 25 February 2013: TEUTONIC TWAT. Location: Frau and Loathing in Las Vegas · favstar.fm/users/FrauFickenDammt - 40,593 tweets. 3,497 following. 12,458 followers.

Wife's home so I can't speak with you anymore.

9 June 2012 IntoxicaTweeted ‏@IntoxicaTweeted [^175.5] https://twitter.com/intoxicatweeted/status/211691266063335424 As of 14 April 2013, location: Brooklyn, NY · http://favstar.fm/users/IntoxicaTweeted/recent - 14,953 tweets. 6,667 following. 10,363 followers.

My wife hates you.

Yes, all of you!

19 April 2014 Fuzzy LePimp ‏@FuzzyPimple [^175.6] https://twitter.com/FuzzyPimple/status/457542168047931392 Bio and stats on 22 April 2014: I used to have a pimple, now I don't. Location: Under The Westgate. Melbourne. 30,209 tweets. 640 following. 10,222 followers.

She thought I wasn't doing Twitter tonight, that's funny hey.

29 June 2012 Aspersioncast ‏@Aspersioncast [^175.7] https://twitter.com/Aspersioncast/status/218647547995095042 His bio and stats on 21 November 2012: It's always a pleasure to meet someone with no sense of humour, then when I fuck with their head, it's unbelievably satisfying. Location: Perth Australia. · http://favstar.fm/users/AspersionCast/recent - 18,059 tweets. 17,901 following. 22,264 followers. On a Friday night in Australia.

I would much rather be hanging out with you tonight.

25 October 2012 Corleown ‏@Corleown [^175.8] https://twitter.com/Corleown/status/261610197888413696 His bio and stats on 5 November 2012: I should probably change my bio since I manscaped. Full disclosure: my last bio had the word waginas in it. You shouldn't follow me. Location: Drunk in Michigan. http://favstar.fm/users/corleown - 2,543 tweets. 683 following. 897 followers.

"PUT THAT ON YOUR FUCKING TWITTER!" is something that's been screamed at me this evening.

4 August 2012 Kendra Kringle ‏@Kendragarden [^175.9] https://twitter.com/kendragarden/status/231680156249497600 Her bio and stats on 21 December 2013: Bustin' makes me feel good. http://favstar.fm/users/Kendragarden - Location: Los Angeles · kendragarden.com - 2,565 tweets. 489 following. 9,560 followers. On 21 December 2013 this tweet was found to have been deleted.

Her: Thanks for not tweeting our conversation.

M: No problem. But if you see this tweet just know I have similar conversations with others.

5 July 2013 Rock God ‏@redpawn3 [^175.10] https://twitter.com/redpawn3/status/353212272941871106 His bio: Father, Racantouer, Strummer of Simple Chords, and Part-time Treasure Hunter. favstar.fm/users/redpawn3 - 73,278 tweets. 3,479 following. 5,804 followers. M = me.

My boyfriend has only been gone for a week and I've already replaced him with a bunch of strangers on a website.

30 May 2012 Nina ‏@ninaundercovers [^175.11] https://twitter.com/ninaundercovers/status/207881699403632641 Twitter bio and stats on 18 July 2013: I'm probably napping. favstar.fm/users/ninaundercovers - 343 tweets. 891 following. 632 followers. Her most recent tweet on 18 July 2013 was dated 31 January 2013.

Do you know where your man is at?

I didn't think so.

12 January 2013 Gio ‏@nerdsrockk [^175.12] https://twitter.com/nerdsrockk/status/290020001946148865 Her bio: I can lick my toe, what can you do? Instagram: nerdsrockk. Location: Los Angeles · nerdsrockk.tumblr.com - 15,236 tweets. 1,158 following. 10,029 followers.

Wonder how many couples counseling sessions start with one person explaining to the counselor that they just want to tell jokes on Twitter.

12 April 2011 Anita ‏@TheAnitaG [^175.13] https://twitter.com/#!/TheAnitaG/status/57896410883960832 Twitter bio and stats on 21 December 2013: two-time heisman trophy winner. Location: Pacific Northwest · anitagoodlaugh.tumblr.com

\- 8,724 tweets. 320 following. 3,470 followers.

He blames you guys.

29 June 2012 Veronica ‏@RoniGrace - https://twitter.com/RoniGrace/status/218822490909184000 Bio and stats on 7 July 2012: I've started an empire; it may or may not be evil. I write stories. Some of them are erotic. 39,974 tweets. 1,366 following. 4,261 followers. Twittercided and returned on 17 July 2012 as Veronica Grace ‏@ronigrace [^175.14]. On 7 August 2013 her second account (@ronigrace) was found to have been abandoned and the ID taken over by someone else.

Went to marriage counselor.

Husband told her I spend too much time tweeting.

She told him I need it and to butt out.

I like this woman.

3 July 2012 Veronica ‏@RoniGrace - https://twitter.com/RoniGrace/status/220253114857553920 Bio and stats on 7 July 2012: I've started an empire; it may or may not be evil. I write stories. Some of them are erotic. 39,974 tweets. 1,366 following. 4,261 followers. Twittercided and returned on 17 July 2012 as Veronica Grace ‏@ronigrace [^175.15]. On 7 August 2013 her second account (@ronigrace) was found to have been abandoned and the ID taken over by someone else.

3 words you never want to hear during sex : "are you tweeting?"

19 January 2012 Gio @nerdsrockk [^175.16] https://twitter.com/#!/nerdsrockk/status/159910237304913920 Her bio and stats on 12 January 2013: I can lick my toe, what can you do? Instagram: nerdsrockk. Location: Los Angeles · nerdsrockk.tumblr.com - 15,236 tweets. 1,158 following. 10,029 followers.

If I fall asleep with Twitter open on my phone and my wife finds it, you guys realize that's it for me, right?

17 July 2011 Jude Lawless @9to5Life [^175.17] https://twitter.com/#!/9to5Life/status/92498512817819648 Bio and stats on 30 October 2012: Just a college drop out, working the office life. Don't get all haughty though, I've seen you screw up your/you're like a dozen times. Location: Seattle · http://mommyblogger.com.gov.edu [three extensions means it's not a real website] 1,994 tweets. 807 following. 11,617 followers.

I now have a lock on my phone. Because twitter ruins lives.

17 July 2012 Sparked_ ‏@burntmybagel [^175.18] https://twitter.com/burntmybagel/status/225422299636039681 His bio: I put ketchup on my cheese and rum on my waffles. Location: Philadelphia. 2,766 tweets. 802 following. 2,650 followers.

I'll swallow my phone before I'll let my husband look at it.

8 October 2012 Leia ‏@LeiaMarieG [^175.19] https://twitter.com/LeiaMarieG/status/255459324980252672 Her bio and stats on 27 October 2012: Bitter Vols fan. @augustusglooopp and I are the proud parents of @napolous . @hoops_daddy is my true love. Location: Tennessee · http://favstar.fm/users/LeiaMarieG - 12,480 tweets. 2,426 following. 2,612 followers.

I wonder if anybody has included a twitter clause in their prenup or divorce proceedings yet.

1 May 2013 farleftcoast ‏@farleftcoast [^175.20] https://twitter.com/farleftcoast/status/329807773682524160 Bio: Before I get my hair cut I whisper into the stylist's ear: You fuck up my hair I burn your salon down. I love @thedailymarker so much I put a ring on him. Location: Dock of the Bay · http://favstar.fm/users/farleftcoast - 48,505 tweets. 1,098 following. 15,837 followers.

Such a clause could state that neither party shall speak badly or otherwise damage the reputation of the other party using social media, or by any other means.

My pre-nup will indicate that I'm allowed to unplug your life support system should my phone need charging.

24 August 2012 J ‏@Lipgloss_Nerd [^175.21] https://twitter.com/Lipgloss_Nerd/status/239228103552008192 Her screen name, bio and stats on 4 March 2013: That Horrible Girl - @UluwatuSiap and I are no longer here. Perhaps we never really were. Unfollow guilt free. Location: Island of Delusions. 1,528 tweets. 628 following. 6,430 followers. Bio and stats on 4 March 2013 of That Rude Cunt @UluwatuSiap - @Lipgloss_Nerd and I are no longer here. Perhaps we never really were. Unfollow guilt free. Location: Island of Delusions. 2,350 tweets. 737 following. 9,441 followers. The last tweets from both accounts were dated 9 December 2012.

We should have a 'Whose partner hates Twitter more?' competition.

We could all chip in for a divorce or couples counselling for the winner.

23 October 2012 ShoutingGoddess ‏@ShoutingGoddess [^175.22] https://twitter.com/ShoutingGoddess/status/260901003711352832 Bio: Don't read this shit. Go read a book. 99,347 tweets. 2,361 following. 16,030 followers.

In other news, my husband has filed for divorce because I'm having an affair with 400 people on twitter.

1 July 2012 Nikki HT ‏@nburrr [^175.23] https://twitter.com/nburrr/status/219537963959332865 Her bio and stats on 28 October 2012: Chubby chasers welcome. Fapping over beards and tattoos with @rachaelkelly18 and drinking with @randomlymj. @inky37 keeps me sane. Location: Australia · http://favstar.fm/users/nburrr - 40,953 tweets. 1,239 following. 7,484 followers. Her bio and stats on 21 November 2012: I'm my own twitter clique, motherfucker. @rachaelkelly18, @RandomlyMJ & @gidget_76 are my soul sisters. Location: Australia · http://favstar.fm/users/nburrr - 46,536 tweets. 1,341 following. 8,897 followers. No Twitter account with this ID found on 25 April 2013.

Not until I've ruined a perfectly good marriage do to twitter, will I be complete.

On a side note: DM me if you wanna talk.

19 July 2012 plzstopfollowingme ‏@imence2 [^175.24] https://twitter.com/imence2/status/226043177528872963 His screen name, bio and stats on 23 February 2013: Cobrad - There's a lot of things in my real life bio I'd like to erase. Having a best friend like @RandomlyMJ is one I lucky to be able to write. Location: Talking to @Jermhimselfish · http://favstar.fm/users/imence2/recent \- 32,743 tweets. 975 following. 8,922 followers. do should be read as due above.

Three months later, in a more somber tone:

Hey newbies, My only advice on Twitter. Pay attention to your RL, this will consume you to the point you won't realize what's going wrong.

30 October 2012 GoodNewsBadNews ‏@imence2 [^175.25] https://twitter.com/imence2/status/263348858757730308 His bio: @Jermhimselfish is my RL brother from another mother, @RandomlyMJ is my cyber sister & the rest of u are fam! http://favstar.fm/users/imence2/tweets_of_the_day - http://favstar.fm/users/imence2/recent - 22,832 tweets. 1,097 following. 6,321 followers. His screen name, bio and stats on 23 February 2013: Cobrad - There's a lot of things in my real life bio I'd like to erase. Having a best friend like @RandomlyMJ is one I lucky to be able to write. Location: Talking to @Jermhimselfish · http://favstar.fm/users/imence2/recent - 32,743 tweets. 975 following. 8,922 followers.

Relationship Killers:

1. Broken promises

2. Trust issues

3. Jealousy

4. Lack of communication

5. Assumptions

6. Twitter

30 November 2012 Janine ‏@NurseRatchet719 [^175.26] https://twitter.com/NurseRatchet719/status/274655968447574016 Her bio and stats on 12 December 2012: Sadistic Nurse...Tequila is my Ambien. I'd Sell my Soul for Red Velvet Cupcakes. My Moral Compass is Broken and that's how I got Here. IG: NurseRatchet719. Location: North Jersey/NYC · favstar.fm/users/NurseRatchet719/ - 6,539 tweets. 4,961 following. 4,953 followers.

My hubby doesn't understand how good he has it, that his wife's on Twitter. I'll shut the fuck up for hours. How can a guy complain?

15 July 2012 UGotMe's Lil' Sis ‏@KPsych29 [^175.27] https://twitter.com/KPsych29/status/224518399793954818 No Twitter account with this ID found on 19 July 2013.

i need to move in with one of you immediately

8 November 2011 rob delaney @robdelaney [^175.28] https://twitter.com/#!/robdelaney/status/134064083103260672 His bio and stats on 5 November 2012: Comedian, Writer, 6'3 217lbs Get ROB DELANEY LIVE at the BOWERY BALLROOM for $5 at www.robdelaney.com Location: Los Angeles, CA · http://www.robdelaney.com - 11,840 tweets. 1,245 following. 653,482 followers. He deleted this tweet within a few minutes.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  176. Full-blown addiction, the view from inside

lol my dad told me not 2 let twitter take over my life.

Ummmmmmmmmmm

28 March 2014 ford ‏@bbbethmccoll [^176.1] https://twitter.com/bbbethmccoll/status/449629658578178048 Her bio: http://favstar.fm/users/bbbethmccoll - Location: exeter. uk. mostly harmless. · thehoneyeater.tumblr.com - 12,056 tweets. 1,035 following. 2,084 followers.

Your life is twitter now. Relax.

1 March 2013 Lisa. It really is. ‏@LisaFarted [^176.2] https://twitter.com/LisaFarted/status/307706423540850688 Her bio and stats on 4 March 2013: No funny stuff. Location: Hwy with the windows down. 23,032 tweets. 440 following. 5,808 followers.

It's alright.

We're alright here.

Here.

How are you?

28 January 2013 Jay ‏@Jay1972Jay [^176.3] https://twitter.com/Jay1972Jay/status/295816487422287872 His bio: Dying is not as scary as never having lived. Just one man and his madnesses...... Location: nowhere. 33,544 tweets. 2,002 following. 1,419 followers.

Have I mentioned... Yes, I have! I've been here 20 months... and tweeted and retweeted 50k tweets. So yeah, I have mentioned it...

2 June 2012 Rock God ‏@redpawn3 [^176.4] https://twitter.com/redpawn3/status/209025273155420160 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Solitary Dad, with my kids 5/6 out of 14 days. Location: Backstage · http://favstar.fm/users/redpawn3 - 58,559 tweets. 3,037 following. 5,069 followers.

Less is more but it's too late for that.

7 November 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^176.5] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/266428881442054144 His bio: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 14,260 tweets. 3,173 following. 9,747 followers.

Twitter jail, twitter jail let me out.

6 November 2012 Lisa. It really is. ‏@LisaFarted [^176.6] https://twitter.com/LisaFarted/status/266026242048942081 Her bio and stats on 6 November 2012: Smokin' in the boys room. Good at being bad. Sex, drugs & rock & roll. I don't need any characters around to give the joint atmosphere. Location: Hwy with the windows down. 20,079 tweets. 405 following. 5,764 followers. Her bio and stats on 4 March 2013: No funny stuff. Location: Hwy with the windows down. 23,032 tweets. 440 following. 5,808 followers.

Twitter sets limits on the number of tweets per hour. At the time, that limit was 100 tweets per hour or 1,000 per day. Lisa exceeded that limit while votes were being tallied for the US presidential election. She was consequently blocked from tweeting for an hour.

I regret that I have but infinite time in twitter jail to give for my country

28 January 2014 Kelsey D. Atherton ‏@AthertonKD [^176.7] https://twitter.com/AthertonKD/status/428376655719964673 Bio: High volume feed. Tweets mostly national security. I cover defense technology for Popular Science, Sci-Fi strategy at Grand Blog Tarkin. Views mine alone. Location: Washington, Drone City · http://www.popsci.com/category/popsci-authors/kelsey-d-atherton - 69,779 tweets. 1,473 following. 3,281 followers.

Tweeted just after he was released from Twitter jail, where he found himself during a State of the Union address delivered by US President Barack Obama. Atherton's tweet plays on the purported last words of Nathan Hale, "I only regret that I have but one life to give for my country." Hale was on an intelligence-gathering mission in New York City in 1776 when he was captured by the British and hung as an illegal combatant.

I refuse to sign up for twitter - me 3 months ago

27 June 2012 SarahBeerInTheFridge ‏@SarahR_82 [^176.8] https://twitter.com/sarahr_82/status/217986311750025216 Metrics 12 July 2012: 3,646 tweets. 841 following. 812 followers. Her bio and stats on 6 May 2013: 30. Waitress. I like beer. I tweet RL and bullshit. Appropriately inappropriate. sarahr_82 on Instagram – Location: Southern IL · http://favstar.fm/users/SarahR_82 - 20,644 tweets. 5,678 following. 5,897 followers.

Less than two months later:

Twitter has not been an addiction or habit for me.

I like to think of it more as a lifestyle change.

18 August 2012 SarahBeerInTheFridge ‏@SarahR_82 [^176.9] https://twitter.com/SarahR_82/status/236866687549448194 Bio and stats 20 August 2012: 29 yrs old, went to college, chooses to b a waitress, TL creeper, i follow back, also, i say dirty words, if u cant take a joke dont follow, 18+ please. Location: So IL. 9,413 tweets. 1,832 following. 1,775 followers. Her bio and stats on 6 May 2013: 30. Waitress. I like beer. I tweet RL and bullshit. Appropriately inappropriate. sarahr_82 on Instagram – Location: Southern IL · http://favstar.fm/users/SarahR_82 - 20,644 tweets. 5,678 following. 5,897 followers. Her bio and stats on 27 January 2014: A RL girl. Occasionally hilarious. I like beer. Instagram: sarahr_82 – Location: Southern IL · favstar.fm/users/SarahR_82 – 25,127 tweets. 7,524 following. 7,753 followers. Underlining added.

Twitter has changed my life.

I mean taken.

Twitter has taken my life.

8 February 2014 Brian ‏@VanVeenB [^176.10] https://twitter.com/VanVeenB/status/432142849489272832 Husband, father & die hard metal fan. Location: South Florida · favstar.fm/users/VanVeenB - 21,328 tweets. 3,747 following. 3,760 followers.

"I love Twitter!"

*1 day later*

"I hate Twitter."

*1 day later*

"Twitter is great!"

*1 day later*

"Where the hell is my gun."

17 April 2012 Vasculitis Vixen ‏@MistookMistake [^176.11] https://twitter.com/#!/MistookMistake/status/192452172510793728 Her bio and stats on 7 March 2013: When I'm not busy losing 15lbs. so I can fit behind my fridge to get an M&M, I'm tweeting jokes, writing a book, & speaking about my cause: beating Vasculitis. Location: Dallas, Texas · favstar.fm/users/MistookMistake - 2,950 tweets. 2,216 following. 11,058 followers.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression... unless you commit Twittercide and come back as someone else.

27 January 2011 Viley Virus @hannahsatana [^176.12] https://twitter.com/#!/hannahsatana/status/30703908586266624 Bio and stats on 2 May 2013: I am a man trapped inside the body of a female demon & one day if you're lucky I will be inside of you- WORSHIP ME! Location:...in a handbasket · http://www.hannahsatana.com - 4,419 tweets. 769 following. 3,198 followers.

I'd like to think a fresh start will mean better tweets, but who am I kidding?

28 January 2013 blunder rated ‏@blunder_tweets [^176.13] https://twitter.com/blunder_tweets/status/295919017212907520 She came back 94 days earlier. Did not have a bio on 13 May 2013, only these stats: 995 tweets. 292 following. 353 followers.

If you're joining Twitter late, RIP are the initials of a Latin phrase that means there is a 3% chance that a person is dead.

23 May 2012 JRehling ‏@JRehling [^176.14] https://twitter.com/JRehling/status/205365703342178304 His bio and stats on 13 May 2013: Help. I am joke writer for jrehling twitter. Live in boat with six other boys. He mean, no feed us, write jokes. World save us. Location: Cyberspace · favstar.fm/users/JRehling/recent - 40,001 tweets. 6,910 following. 10,690 followers.

Refers to the practice of acknowledging a twittercide by tweeting RIP and the departed's ID.

I find that the best time to tweet is somewhere between 24 and 7.

13 May 2012 Bash ‏@Bashfullsmile [^176.15] https://twitter.com/#!/Bashfullsmile/status/201658909885333505 No bio on 17 November 2012, only: http://favstar.fm/users/Bashfullsmile/recent - 27,954 tweets. 1,578 following. 3,637 followers.

it's 4am how do i make it look like i'm cool and going to bed just now instead of a loser who just woke up?

29 June 2012 Sputnik Sweetheart ‏@Verlieren [^176.16] https://twitter.com/Verlieren/status/218649516470042624 - 13,156 followers. Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: Creator of Google, previously psychotic person. Not to make you fall in love with me but I probably don't have AIDS. http://tinyurl.com/verinstagram - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001856/ - 11,012 tweets. 548 following. 14,712 followers.

I should've stopped Tweeting a few Tweets ago ~ everyone

23 June 2012 Ryan Armentrout ‏@ryaninco [^176.17] https://twitter.com/ryaninco/status/216784488435425280 His bio and stats on 2 November 2012: Traveling the U.S. like a gypsy, only I take a shower daily. Instagram Ryaninco. Location: I get around · http://favstar.fm/users/ryaninco - 22,000 tweets. 5,016 following. 13,127 followers.

When you've been loading the dishwasher for two hours, it's time to put Twitter away for awhile.

13 June 2012 January James ‏@JanuaryJames [^176.18] https://twitter.com/januaryjames/status/213064116783427584 Her bio and stats on 8 August 2012: I'm an investigative writer/journalist. I am who I am. Take me or leave me. I'm the product of a schizophrenic writer. Location: Inside My Own Head. 23,527 tweets. 1,075 following. 2,254 followers. Her bio and stats on 8 March 2013: I'm a sympath & the product of a schizophrenic writer. Sometimes I'm funny. Joey Ramone is my love. Peter Steele is my boyfriend. @siren_sweet is my blessing. Location: In a Field of Purple Flowers · http://favstar.fm/users/JanuaryJames - 43,043 tweets. 1,962 following. 6,616 followers.

This kitchen fire is making me nervous.

5 January 2013 bllix ‏@bllix [^176.19] https://twitter.com/bllix/status/287809533647151104 Her bio and stats on 22 February 2013: Electronic music producer/knob-twiddler, MYLF, Multilingual programmer, Attorney at LOL, Thug 4 Life, Laundromancer, METAL AS FVCK. Damn, Gina. Location: Portland, OR. · http://bllix.tumblr.com - 12,839 tweets. 499 following. 4,534 followers.

*Slams through door with purpose.

Stares malevolently round the Twitter bar.

Strides over to you.

Grabs your ear.

Twists it.

Drags you home*

24 June 2012 ShoutingGoddess ‏@ShoutingGoddess [^176.20] https://twitter.com/shoutinggoddess/status/217053403111624704

Her bio and stats on 5 November 2012: Don't read this shit. Go read a book. 101,615 tweets. 2,305 following. 16,629 followers.

"Yes, honey, you're a comedy genius. Stop tweeting and come to bed." - my girlfriend.

17 July 2012 Mr. Kevin Sullivan ‏@Sullivan_Smith [^176.21] https://twitter.com/Sullivan_Smith/status/224378802577477633 Bio and stats on 21 December 2013: Humor writer. Former Cincinnatian in Austin. Managing Editor of http://Austin.com . Warning: I tweet A LOT. Really. A LOT. Location: Austin, TX · austin.com. 38,888 tweets. 1,492 following. 1,470 followers. Underlining added.

My boyfriend wants me to go to bed.

HAHAHA he's never dated a tweeter before.

31 October 2012 SashaJBrenner ‏@SashaBrenner [^176.22] https://twitter.com/SashaBrenner/status/263801565763219456 Bio and stats on 1 November 2012: Personal account. Screamwriter. Lover. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1348207061 http://audioboo.fm/sashabrenner Location: London Mayfair · http://favstar.fm/users/SashaBrenner 7,258 tweets. 4,253 following. 5,105 followers.

I stay up late every night to learn the moral of the story.

1 November 2012 Kate Goldsmith ‏@Kate_Goldsmith [^176.23] https://twitter.com/Kate_Goldsmith/status/264229462097395712 Bio and stats on 3 November 2012: I really, really like gravy and if you do too drop everything we're soulmates. Location: Alberta · http://favstar.fm/users/Kate_Goldsmith - 2,093 tweets. 773 following. 1,152 followers.

I want to stop tweeting but there's still people who don't love me yet.

31 July 2012 christine ‏@thesupergrobi [^176.24] https://twitter.com/thesupergrobi/status/230225483755823104 Her bio and stats on 28 November 2012: Ich bin eine Lady. Location: all those old fashioned places · http://favstar.fm/users/thesupergrobi \- 7,445 tweets. 644 following. 5,067 followers.

If anyone asks, I wasn't here.

9 July 2012 Jeni Scagnetti @JeniScagnetti [^176.25] https://twitter.com/JeniScagnetti/status/222433971659735040 Her bio and stats on 10 April 2013: In the history of language, the first obscenity was silence. Billionaire · http://favstar.fm/users/JeniScagnetti/recent - 19,773 tweets. 539 following. 10,422 followers.

I'd be in bed now if I hadn't discovered this twitter app 6 months ago.

14 December 2011 Legs Vandercuss @brainydame \- https://twitter.com/#!/brainydame/status/147199342917320704 Her screen name, ID, bio and stats on 22 March 2013: Anna @smartypeach [^176.26] Why can I not be drinking a margarita on the beach right now? Instagram: brainypeach – Location: Chicago · http://favstar.fm/users/smartypeach/recent - 4,792 tweets. 52 following. 3,470 followers.

Can you imagine? People sleep!?!? Wtf?

17 July 2012 plzstopfollowingme ‏@imence2 [^176.27] https://twitter.com/imence2/status/225360085000527872

His follower numbers were going up like a rocket. His first tweet was on 2 July 2012. On 17 July 2012 he had 1,255 tweets. 491 following. 556 followers. His screen name, bio and stats on 23 February 2013: Cobrad - There's a lot of things in my real life bio I'd like to erase. Having a best friend like @RandomlyMJ is one I lucky to be able to write. Location: Talking to @Jermhimselfish · http://favstar.fm/users/imence2/recent - 32,743 tweets. 975 following. 8,922 followers.

I have only one Twitter rule: Try and remember to go to bed.

18 October 2012 Not the Lord ‏@byronblurb [^176.28] https://twitter.com/byronblurb/status/259153404251758592 His bio and stats two days later: skilled at the art of changing the subject; unlimited fountain of useless nonsense; usually able to finish 2 cheeseburgers with no problem. Location: Close enough to come visit. http://www.favstar.fm/users/byronblurb/recent - 9,717 tweets. 5,517 following. 5,927 followers.

It's sad when you can see how long you slept by looking at the time between tweets

30 August 2009 Josh S ‏@jorshuwah [^176.29] https://twitter.com/jorshuwah/status/3655918128 His bio and stats on 28 March 2013: favstar.fm/users/jorshuwah – Location: Sydney, Australia. · jorshuwah.tumblr.com - 2,254 tweets. 996 following. 1,909 followers.

Just once, I'd like to wake up in the morning, check out what I tweeted the night before, and have my last tweet NOT be just four hours ago.

24 July 2012 aspersion cat ‏@skullcat [^176.30] https://twitter.com/skullcat/status/227760494285565952 Bio: Using sarcasm as a natural defense against companionship, and alcohol as artificial protection from sobriety. Mom to teen, designer to graphics. Location: Vancouver. 26,293 tweets. 6,254 following. 7,625 followers.

Your time zone is showing.

18 October 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^176.31] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/391115901690331136 Twitter bio and stats on 30 December 2013 for this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 17,120 tweets. 729 following. 28,655 followers.

@AlessioSgherza **you write "daysleeper" in your Twitter bio, that's nice** :-)

14 February 2013 Steffen Konrath ‏@StKonrath [^176.32] https://twitter.com/StKonrath/status/302056324932448256 His bio: Liquid Newsroom: Curated real time web news with focus on #journalism & #media - Look inside the Liquid Newsroom? Follow @liquidnews (Open Journalism). Location: Munich, Germany · http://www.nextlevelofnews.com - 26,228 tweets. 69,815 following. 104,289 followers.

Bio of Alessio Sgherza @AlessioSgherza [^176.33] tweeting about tech, journalism and stuff. Who am I? Daysleeper, multimedia journalist (@repubblicait), semi-blogger (http://bit.ly/JZ8JrK ), teacher (@ilducato) Location: 41.895345,12.519443 - 2,763 tweets. 408 following. 800 followers.

It can be comforting to arrive home just as darkness is falling. Daysleepers may rarely experience this feeling.

The trick to falling asleep is putting your phone down.

Unfortunately, that's not a risk I'm willing to take.

12:43 a.m. on a Tuesday, 5 June 2012 Miss Fuckalicious ‏@PyrBliss [^176.34] https://twitter.com/pyrbliss/status/209913334542241793 Her bio and stats on 7 November 2012: Swearing on Twitter is my anti-drug. Come for the cuteness, stay for the rage. I say FUCK! a lot. Location: In your pocket · http://favstar.fm/users/PyrBliss - 2,916 tweets. 838 following. 26,747 followers.

Sleep: What are we doing?

7:17 a.m. in Cairo, 13 March 2013 Mona Eltahawy ‏@monaeltahawy [^176.35] https://twitter.com/monaeltahawy/status/311707496689565696 Her bio: Columnist and public speaker on Arab and Muslim issues http://www.monaeltahawy.com Location: The World · http://www.monaeltahawy.com/blog - 167,651 tweets. 826 following. 171,934 followers. Underlining added.

Mona Eltahawy had been tweeting throughout the night, chronicling her adventures out and about in Cairo. These included tearing the hem of her dress and posting a photo of it on Twitter. After this tweet she took a break from tweeting for four hours.

my sleep number is blocked

14 April 2013 lauren ashley bishop ‏@sbellelauren [^176.36] https://twitter.com/sbellelauren/status/321403192732688384 Her bio and stats on 19 April 2013: i'm a comedian from arkansas. i live in LA. but i comede all over. http://witstream.com please & thank you http://favstar.fm/users/sbellelauren... http://weakendupdate.tumblr.com - hollywood · http://laurenashleybishop.tumblr.com/ - 10,410 tweets. 991 following. 37,595 followers.

I don't even fucking know what time zone this sleeping pattern is resembling !!!

9 May 2012 Girl Disappearing ‏@michamontaz [^176.37] https://twitter.com/#!/michamontaz/status/200291577023823872 Her Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 29 April 2013: madge-ic montaz @michamontaz - I look like a creepy doll and have no hope in life but at least I sparkle! Location: bonny scotland · http://favstar.fm/users/michamontaz/recent - 46,083 tweets. 498 following. 1,994 followers.

I need to make more friends in whatever country is awake right now.

18 June 2012 Mayor Baconator ‏@tigersgoroooar [^176.38] https://twitter.com/tigersgoroooar/status/214603309225488384 Her screen name, bio and stats on 31 January 2013: Pony Starwars. Hey! Must be the money. team vagussy. Location: FUCKTOWN · twitter.com - 3,436 tweets. 545 following. 18,182 followers.

This is the best time of the day for me, the Aussie/UK gang is awake and the only Americans left are needy and easy to please.

3:32 a.m. EDT, Wednesday, 30 January 2013 Menacing Madame ‏@MadameSnippy [^176.39] https://twitter.com/MadameSnippy/status/296536234434625536 Her bio: It's like I'm playing a lyrical tug of war with your ear, you hear it boy, come here, put your ear up to the speaker dear. Location: Down Under · favstar.fm/users/MadameSnippy - 8,731 tweets. 928 following. 2,479 followers.

Twitter. The leading cause of sleep deprivation amongst tweeters.

17 July 2011 Tink ‏@Tinkerbell_ [^176.40] https://twitter.com/#!/Tinkerbell_/status/92701872506417152 Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 6 May 2013: TinkAlmighty, eh! @Tinkerbell_ I like long walks in the country. Dressing up, and down. Good sense of humour. Never put out on the first date, well apart from that one time. http://favstar.fm/users/tinkerbell_/recent - 16,270 tweets. 975 following. 9,691 followers.

No one cares that you can't sleep. I'm not your mom.

1:23 a.m. PDT, Monday, 4 March 2013 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^176.41] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/308507933669478400 His bio: I tweet so you don't have to. https://soundcloud.com/nerdamage-1/05hund4m463 - 16,424 tweets. 3,408 following. 11,700 followers.

seriously, my mom cares.

1:25 a.m. PDT, Monday, 4 March 2013 sweet p ‏@preawsaurus [^176.42] https://twitter.com/preawsaurus/status/308508553772158976 Her bio: i am nice. at least that's the way i perceive myself. i could be wrong. Location: Tellus · http://favstar.fm/users/preawsaurus 13,455 tweets. 822 following. 9,129 followers.

The best cure for insomnia is to delete your twitter account.

2 November 2012 P.S. ‏@MysticPrism_ [^176.43] https://twitter.com/MysticPrism_/status/264461666916397057 Her bio and stats the next day: A lassie. Sitting on her bed. Waiting for a stranger. On internet. To love me. Earlier @Boobiliicious http://favstar.fm/users/MysticPrism_ 8,659 tweets. 396 following. 4,686 followers.

I fuckin love twitter

8 June 2012 Token Geezer ‏@Token_Geezer [^176.44] https://twitter.com/token_geezer/status/211045085180215297

And then in the same minute:

I fuckin hate twitter

8 June 2012 Token Geezer ‏@Token_Geezer [^176.45] https://twitter.com/token_geezer/status/211044966305239040 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I'm just a minor threat. Location: London. http://favstar.fm/users/Token_Geezer - 30,079 tweets. 862 following. 8,334 followers. His bio and stats on 23 February 2013: I'm just a minor threat. Location: London · http://favstar.fm/users/Token_Geezer - 36,502 tweets. 864 following. 12,389 followers.

Stay out of this. This is between me and Twitter.

15 November 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^176.46] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/268983523824771072 His bio and stats on 27 February 2013: I tweet so you don't have to. https://soundcloud.com/nerdamage-1/05hund4m463 - 16,272 tweets. 3,373 following. 11,597 followers.

It's never too late to join twitter and give up on life completely.

30 May 12 Miss Fuckalicious ‏@PyrBliss [^176.47] https://twitter.com/pyrbliss/status/207885175630209025 Her bio and stats on 7 November 2012: Swearing on Twitter is my anti-drug. Come for the cuteness, stay for the rage. I say FUCK! a lot. Location: In your pocket · http://favstar.fm/users/PyrBliss - 2,916 tweets. 838 following. 26,747 followers.

I joined Twitter as an outlet to complain about stuff, now I need someplace to complain about Twitter.

5 June 2012 Boss Ladyy ‏@NatyBietz [^176.48] https://twitter.com/NatyBietz/status/210047603776290817 Twitter bio and stats on 21 December 2013: On a quest for the perfect fish taco. I heart science. And jokes. I like jokes. And tacos. Location: Florida · favstar.fm/users/NatyBietz - 9,094 tweets. 599 following. 2,214 followers.

My addiction to Twitter is only matched by my addiction to talking about Twitter on Twitter.

I've already begged myself to STFU, but...

26 June 2012 SlayerSays ‏@SlayerSays [^176.49] https://twitter.com/SlayerSays/status/217844252590350336 Her bio and stats 22 August 2012: Stupid always find a way. 10,158 tweets. 3,893 following. 7,083 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 21 December 2013: Stupid will still always find a way....I guess Hey, be sweet to my Favstar! http://favstar.fm/users/SlayerSays/recent - 16,685 tweets. 7,311 following. 13,541 followers.

Totally got called called about my twitter addiction by my cousin, thought I should probably tweet about it.

7 June 2012 Kitty Fantastic!!! ‏@scarysherry777 - https://twitter.com/scarysherry777/status/210934457279057921 Her Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 28 May 2013: βιυε ❦ @SerpentineFlesh [^176.50] Flesh Charmer. Location: Pale Blue Dot · favstar.fm/users/SerpentineFlesh - 29,530 tweets. 720 following. 968 followers.

If Twitter isn't a drug then why do I lie to my friends and family about it?

4 August 2012 Klassy Fucker ‏@KlassyFucker [^176.51] https://twitter.com/KlassyFucker/status/231951873345724416 Twitter bio and stats on 22 December 2013, when this account was found to have been set to private: Former Toddler. Location: Hollywood / NY / Klassyville - 16,128 tweets. 263 following. 126,079 followers.

If the internet isn't a drug, why do they call us all users?

6 July 2012 Jamie Capria ‏@MrFornicator [^176.52] https://twitter.com/mrfornicator/status/221316226524254208 His bio and stats on 25 January 2013: Comedian/Writer and founder of Comedians For Cancer. The average person laughs 15 times a day... that's not nearly enough. http://ComediansForCancer.com Location: Syracuse, New York · favstar.fm/users/MrFornicator - 4,342 tweets. 5,350 following. 51,213 followers.

Is it just me or are there more of us?

17 November 2012 donni ‏@donni [^176.53] https://twitter.com/donni/status/269714314443780096 His bio and stats on 30 January 2013: Joke sayer, sketch writer, spec scripter, backseat dancer. You look hot. Hire me! More at TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com ) Stealing babies will be prosecuted. Location: Chicago but restless · favstar.fm/users/donni/recent - 9,986 tweets. 881 following. 27,436 followers.

@donni **It's not you, it's us.**

17 November 2012 Chipster ‏@depreciated [^176.54] https://twitter.com/depreciated/status/269714981518450689 Location: Behind the Orange Curtain · http://favstar.fm/users/depreciated - 1,390 tweets. 549 following. 2,798 followers.

My therapist asked me what I'm most thankful for and I said my twitter followers, then she recommended me to a new therapist.

20 November 2012 Tricia ‏@Im_Tricia [^176.55] https://twitter.com/Im_Tricia/status/271126066658177024 Her bio and stats on 22 December 2012: Jazz hands for life while still keeping it gangsta./Instagram: Im_Tricia/ https://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/[-withheld – Tricia's wish list]. Location: Los Angeles · http://favstar.fm/users/Im_Tricia - 3,164 tweets. 636 following. 24,182 followers.

My shrink had me take a test to see if I had a twitter addiction.

I drew little orange stars beside all the questions I liked.

1 June 2012 Brad Broaddus ‏@BradBroaddus [^176.56] https://twitter.com/BradBroaddus/status/208783915366879232 Bio: Drink the Kool Aid and follow me! Location: Richmond, KY. 702 followers. Are the stars in Favstar orange? Have they ever been orange in Twitter too? What color are stars in Twitter's web interface?

If I star your tweet, it means I'm saving it for the obituaries that I'm secretly writing for some of you.

27 November 2012 https://twitter.com/aem76us/status/273560116673015809 Received one star that day, from Brandy Mai @maibrandy.

If I die today tell the internet that I loved it.

11 October 2011 IanWearsPants ‏@IanWearsPants [^176.57] https://twitter.com/IanWearsPants/status/123883905018372096 Twitter bio and stats on 22 December 2013: I am razzle dazzle. Location: New Jersey. 3,953 tweets. 264 following. 2,620 followers.

i hope i die while on twitter.

8 September 2012 sweet p ‏@preawsaurus [^176.58] https://twitter.com/preawsaurus/status/244328575275241472 Her bio and stats on 8 November 2012: i am nice. at least that's the way i perceive myself. i could be wrong. Location: Tellus · http://favstar.fm/users/preawsaurus/most_retweeted - 12,197 tweets. 910 following. 8,090 followers.

I took my computer completely apart and dug up about 2 blocks of cable before I realized it was Twitter that was down.

21 June 2012 Judge Mental ‏@osigat [^176.59] https://twitter.com/osigat/status/215886257065164802 Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 22 December 2013: Osigat Version 3.02 @osigat - I enjoy watersports. No, not that kind you sicko! The normal kind with golden showers. favstar.fm/users/osigat/recent - 31,349 tweets. 8,437 following. 11,711 followers. Tweeted on the day that a bug in Twitter's software brought the service to a halt until an older backup version was brought online.

" **In case of a sudden loss of Wifi, Ethernet cables will automatically drop from the ceiling**."

— @nichimtakt #twanslated Also: I WANT THIS

6 February 2013 Jan Lehnardt ‏@janl [^176.60] https://twitter.com/janl/status/299110406675374080 His bio: Dissatisfied with the status-quo. @CouchDB. @jsconfeu. @hoodiehq Duct tape artist. Location: Berlin · writing.jan.io - 54,179 tweets. 2,369 following. 6,857 followers. The last letter in @janl is a lowercase L.

Original tweet in German:

"Im Falle eines WLAN-Ausfalls fallen automatisch Netzwerkkabel von der Decke."

1 February 2013 nichimtakt ‏@nichimtakt [^176.61] https://twitter.com/nichimtakt/status/297471754765496320 His bio and stats on 6 February 2013: Junger Pirat. Organisationskritische Derperia. Trying to be a feminist ally. Trockennasenaffe. Tweets meiner Handpuppe enden mit dem Kürzel /hp – Location: Berlin · http://nichimtakt.soup.io/ - 5,718 tweets. 690 following. 557 followers.

Come back internet. Come back.

7:11 a.m. her time, while she was in office. 18 April 2013 Justine Nienaber ‏@punkystarfish [^176.62] https://twitter.com/punkystarfish/status/324752080302665728 Her bio: Social Media & PPC Gal @Talooma | Zimbabwean | Tall blonde | Lover of Pandas | Runner always in training | Infographic addict | Blogger | #ActiveIsAttractive. Location: I swam here from Zimbabwe · http://www.justinejoyit.co.za - 14,390 tweets. 514 following. 1,357 followers.

Twitter must be down, no one has paid me any attention in the last 37 seconds and I've refreshed the page like 5 times.

1 November 2012 Erma Gerd ‏@shegotagronk [^176.63] https://twitter.com/shegotagronk/status/264128437998985217 His bio and stats the next day: Belieber. Pornbot. Directioner. Myspace Elite. Cotillion Trained Southern Aristocrat. I love adderall and lunchables. http://klout.com/#/shegotagronk Location: Southlake, TX / Pittsburgh, PA · http://favstar.fm/users/shegotagronk - 1,003 tweets. 2,831 following. 3,567 followers.

I'm starting to believe it's not Twitter that's broken.

11 April 2012 J ‏@Lipgloss_Nerd [^176.64] https://twitter.com/lipgloss_nerd/status/190269094233243649 Her screen name, bio and stats on 4 March 2013: That Horrible Girl - @UluwatuSiap and I are no longer here. Perhaps we never really were. Unfollow guilt free. Location: Island of Delusions. 1,528 tweets. 628 following. 6,430 followers. Bio and stats on 4 March 2013 of That Rude Cunt @UluwatuSiap - @Lipgloss_Nerd and I are no longer here. Perhaps we never really were. Unfollow guilt free. Location: Island of Delusions. 2,350 tweets. 737 following. 9,441 followers. The last tweets from both accounts were dated 9 December 2012.

if you stay on twitter too long, happiness becomes a crime.

5 June 2012 Sweet P ‏@preawsaurus [^176.65] https://twitter.com/preawsaurus/status/210206724341235714 Her bio and stats on 8 November 2012: i am nice. at least that's the way i perceive myself. i could be wrong. Location: Tellus · http://favstar.fm/users/preawsaurus/most_retweeted - 12,197 tweets. 910 following. 8,090 followers.

**Don't worry,** _not_ **tweeting doesn't make you happy either.**

17 October 2012 christine ‏@thesupergrobi [^176.66] https://twitter.com/thesupergrobi/status/258663149291597825 Her bio and stats on 28 November 2012: Ich bin eine Lady. Location: all those old fashioned places · http://favstar.fm/users/thesupergrobi \- 7,445 tweets. 644 following. 5,067 followers. Italics added.

if i were a stand-up comedian, my act would just be me reading my tweets out loud and then sobbing uncontrollably

4 December 2012 ben ‏@benicus_rex [^176.67] https://twitter.com/benicus_rex/status/276041862769430528 Bio and stats on 28 March 2014: DAMN IT;S TRUE!!1 - http://favstar.fm/users/benicus_rex - 4,931 tweets. 273 following. 738 followers. On 28 March 2014 this tweet had accumulated two retweets and thirteen stars.

"I'm finally the funniest person in the room" she cries to the bathroom mirror

6 July 2012 foxy j ‏@idreamofmayo [^176.68] https://twitter.com/idreamofmayo/status/221313147607318529 Her bio and stats on 18 November 2012: kid at heart but not liver http://favstar.fm/users/idreamofmayo Location: (Hou/Bo) ston. 3,402 tweets. 231 following. 329 followers. No account with this ID found on 7 April 2013.

You are way too fucking happy. BLOCKED.

17 May 2012 Ænima ‏@MrsMikePatton [^176.69] https://twitter.com/MrsMikePatton/status/203356690106691584 In Philadelphia with 1,118 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 10 August 2013: Mike Patton's sex slave. Location: Philadelphia · http://favstar.fm/users/MrsMikePatton/recent - 18,203 tweets. 1,594 following. 3,813 followers.

I didn't know we could use this for fun.

19 October 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^176.70] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/259338765414313984 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 14,015 tweets. 3,128 following. 9,547 followers.

Friend: "Oh Wow! You're awake. You should take advantage of this beautiful day, get out, get things done and ......."

Me: *presses END CALL

15 October 2011 Jenipher ‏@jehujeni [^176.71] https://twitter.com/jehujeni/status/125253447846068224 Her bio and stats on 20 December 2012: ✧Staring out the window ~ Daydreaming✧⋆ My tweets, like a bunch of Bouncy Balls All Over the Place. http://favstar.fm/users/jehujeni - 38,093 tweets. 1,601 following. 2,736 followers. Tweet found to have disappeared by 28 August 2012.

I NEED TO GET OUT OF BED AND GET READY BUT NO YOU ALL KEEP TWEETING...

20 May 2012 Kalon Fullerton ‏@KalonFullerton [^176.72] https://twitter.com/#!/KalonFullerton/status/204264428408020992 In Towanda, Kansas that day with 1,047 followers. Bio and stats on 22 March 2013: go easy, step lightly, stay free. I'm obsessed with Emma Stone, Wichita State, and Manchester City. I tweet constantly. Ehimen Orupke. Location: Friend Zone. 56,434 tweets. 1,720 following. 1,726 followers.

A haiku about getting out of bed:

No no no no no,

No no no no no no no,

No no no no no.

10 August 2012 Sara ‏@SlackArab [^176.73] https://twitter.com/SlackArab/status/233944002012016640 Bio and stats on 8 September 2012: Going through the motions. Location: Orlando. 3,019 tweets. 363 following. 612 followers.

Good morning, up & @ 'em!

13 March 2013 Dax Frost ‏@DaxFrost [^176.74] https://twitter.com/DaxFrost/status/312083932143288320 His bio and stats on 15 March 2013: PRESS PLAY. Location: Cape Town · http://www.thebrothersfrost.com. - 5,847 tweets. 237 following. 838 followers. Up and reply to others on Twitter.

I'd be way more productive if there wasn't a refresh button.

6 June 2012 Junkyardigan ‏@junkyardigan [^176.75] https://twitter.com/junkyardigan/status/210610447068573698 His bio and stats on 13 November 2012: I'm just a guy. Not that guy. The other guy. Over there. In the back. Hi. 3,345 tweets. 1,719 following. 2,233 followers. Refers to the browser's refresh button.

I wish the refresh button worked on my husband.

22 May 2013 MrsG ‏@MrsGoose69 [^176.76] https://twitter.com/MrsGoose69/status/337117434790178816 Bio: My goal is to make you piss your pants. Either by never wanting to leave, or from laughter. Kids don't follow, somethings your parents should teach you Not me. Location: Centre of the Universe · http://favstar.fm/users/MrsGoose69/tweets_of_the_day - 37,753 tweets. 1,649 following. 14,889 followers.

This chick said I was lazy, which is laughable because I have like four twitter accounts.

19 July 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^176.77] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/226164742841065472 His bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,477 tweets. 3,154 following. 9,233 followers.

Things I've done with my life since joining Twitter:

17 September 2012 Parentpains ‏@Parentpains [^176.78] https://twitter.com/Parentpains/status/247703340337737728

His bio: I'm just a piece of meat around here, you're probably not even reading this.

@suchadumbworld is my bro. View all my tweets at the link below. I RT a lot.

Location: Toronto, Canada · http://favstar.fm/users/Parentpains - 13,704 tweets. 2,270 following. 7,700 followers.

Life is more exciting when you're out there living it.

I read that somewhere.

6 June 2012 Josh Hara ‏@yoyoha [^176.79] https://twitter.com/yoyoha/status/210613177795354625 His bio and stats on 7 November 2012: I'm just a boy, standing in front of the internet, asking it to love him. Location: Columbus, Ohio · http://www.statusillustrated.com - 9,690 tweets. 668 following. 44,423 followers.

There is beauty and love to be found everywhere.

Just kidding, idiots.

Life sucks.

Don't go outside.

17 July 2012 Peaux ‏@NotJPo [^176.80] https://twitter.com/NotJPo/status/225307957901017089 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: All my tweets are 100% true, idiot. (name courtesy of @SweetTweetsBRO). Location: Peauxland · http://favstar.fm/users/NotJPo/status/245683543525711872 - 11,835 tweets. 1,983 following. 18,682 followers.

Decided to become a stay-at-home Tweeter.

It was important for me to raise my TL right.

23 September 2012 Mrs.Throbinson ‏@mellimelle [^176.81] https://twitter.com/mellimelle/status/249876618510733312 Her bio and stats on 12 May 2013: I wanna tweet right now. I'm Mellimelle and I came to get down. I'm not internationally known but I'm known to rock the twitterphone. Because I get stupid. http://favstar.fm/users/mellimelle - 44,803 tweets. 1,608 following. 15,166 followers. Underlining added.

Can someone tell me why I'm not allowed to star anymore tweets??

I get an error message that read, "User, go outside. It's been 19 days."

21 February 2012 nes delaney ‏@TheTennisPhenom [^176.82] https://twitter.com/TheTennisPhenom/status/172158329274105857 His bio and stats on 8 November 2012: righter. 4,201 tweets. 822 following. 5,751 followers.

I've overcome all my insecurities and can finally leave home and face the world without fear. I bought a car charger for my phone.

24 July 2012 Just Lee ‏@Just_Lee_ [^176.83] https://twitter.com/Just_Lee_/status/227976130307690497 Her bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I have Twitter Tourette Syndrome. Its a real thing. And its incurable. So fuck it. http://favstar.fm/users/just_lee_ - 21,957 tweets. 1,755 following. 10,934 followers. Her bio and stats on 15 April 2014: Lets not make this personal. 781 tweets. 487 following. 2,306 followers.

I'm going out in public now...wish them luck.

7 December 2011 Ted Kaczynski ‏@The_Separatist_ [^176.84] https://twitter.com/#!/The_Separatist_/status/144484291710173185 His bio and stats on 6 November 2012: NO SOLICITING! @TrailOfSlime leads to everywhere... Instagram: mordecaiambugaton http://audioboo.fm/mordecaiambugaton Location: A place that time forgot... · http://favstar.fm/users/The_Separatist_ - 58,306 tweets. 505 following. 4,445 followers.

Theodore John "Ted" Kaczynski is also known as the Unabomber. In his campaign against modern technology, Kaczynski is credited with killing three people and injuring 23 others. He was active between 1978 and 1995. He is serving a life sentence (without Internet access) at the federal supermax prison in Florence, Colorado. His name serves as the screen name for numerous social media accounts, with which he maintains no connection.

Outside? What's that about?

18 July 2012 braden graeber ‏@hipstermermaid [^176.85] https://twitter.com/hipstermermaid/status/225808735723995137 His bio and stats on 25 April 2013: Braden Graeber makes, writes and overthinks things. Location: Los Angeles · http://blog.bradengraeber.com - 4,552 tweets. 395 following. 142,036 followers.

I hate when other girls go outside

26 July 2012 Mae ‏@mzeld [^176.86] https://twitter.com/mzeld/status/228668902840872960 Her bio and stats on 12 November 2012: LET'S DO TWEETS OFF EACH OTHER'S BUTTS http://www.internet.com - 16,846 tweets. 698 following. 21,805 followers.

My friend went outside today. She texted that there are people there and that the sun thingy is still in the sky. She's so brave, you guys.

2 May 2012 Niki ‏@NikiWithIssues [^176.87] https://twitter.com/#!/NikiWithIssues/status/197685690660700162 Her bio and stats on 16 November 2012: I'm super lazy. Which is like normal lazy but I'm also wearing a cape. Location: The Shire · http://favstar.fm/users/NikiWithIssues - 6,027 tweets. 811 following. 35,838 followers.

It's a beautiful day; not a cloud on the ceiling.

7 August 2012 Adrian Woodworth ‏@navanax [^176.88] https://twitter.com/navanax/status/232834103806930944 Bio: Throwing semi-colons around; like a maverick. Location: The Big Smoke. 2,469 tweets. 3,273 following. 6,039 followers.

I watched the sunset.

Well, I noticed the room going from light to dark.

Same difference.

22 July 2012 Laughing with Token ‏@Lisa_Laughs_ [^176.89] https://twitter.com/Lisa_Laughs_/status/227229651624415232 Her bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I shouted at the devil once. He cried and made me a chicken pot pie. Gordo Pie Osigat Token BBQ · http://favstar.fm/users/Lisa_Laughs_/recent - 57,977 tweets. 4,192 following. 18,790 followers.

My tweets are being sent from the exclusive nightclub I'm partying at, not my dirty couch where I'm literally eating cheese from a bag.

9:30 p.m. on a Friday night, PDT, 20 July 2012 rob delaney ‏@robdelaney [^176.90] https://twitter.com/robdelaney/status/226534601584156672 - 495,527 followers. He also tweeted about cheese at 3:51 p.m. that day. His bio and stats on 5 November 2012: Comedian, Writer, 6'3 217lbs Get ROB DELANEY LIVE at the BOWERY BALLROOM for $5 at www.robdelaney.com Location: Los Angeles, CA · http://www.robdelaney.com - 11,840 tweets. 1,245 following. 653,482 followers.

Off to seemingly do something else, but still totally lurk on Twitter.

10 August 2012 Every Tweet Ever ‏@EveryTweet_Ever [^176.91] https://twitter.com/EveryTweet_Ever/status/233976107089674242 Bio and stats on 25 February 2013: Pretty much every tweet you have already seen and will ever see. All of you could stand to be a little more creative. Created and written by @ChrisSerico. Location: Everywhere · http://favstar.fm/users/EveryTweet_Ever - 5,510 tweets. 471 following. 37,168 followers.

Lately I find myself wondering about how many of us are under house arrest.

18 February 2012 Theodora Chester @beingtheo [^176.92] https://twitter.com/#!/beingtheo/status/170984629849960448 Her bio and stats on 8 December 2012: Lapsed writer, collecting distractions. 18,927 tweets. 1,630 following. 6,966 followers.

Far from being punishment, house arrest seems like the best possible thing that could happen to a person.

8 November 2012 Julius Sharpe ‏@juliussharpe [^176.93] https://twitter.com/juliussharpe/status/266602658545139713 His bio and stats on 4 December 2012: Writer for Family Guy on FOX. Frequent bathrobe wearer. Location: Los Angeles, CA. 4,196 tweets. 509 following. 102,262 followers.

Do any of you people have jobs?

11 January 2012 Girl Disappearing ‏@michamontaz [^176.94] https://twitter.com/#!/michamontaz/status/157053751834853376 Her Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 29 April 2013: madge-ic montaz @michamontaz - I look like a creepy doll and have no hope in life but at least I sparkle! Location: bonny scotland · http://favstar.fm/users/michamontaz/recent - 46,083 tweets. 498 following. 1,994 followers.

NO MOM SHUT THE FUCK UP I DIDN'T FIND A FUCKING JOB OKAY BUT I GOT NEW FOLLOWERS ON THE INTERNET. WHAT? SPAGHETTI IS FINE I DON'T CARE

29 August 2012 burgers johnson ‏@buttsamillion [^176.95] https://twitter.com/buttsamillion/status/240881348825473024 Twitter location and stats on 8 August: correcticut · favstar.fm/users/buttsamillion - 7,043 tweets. 532 following. 1,030 followers. 134 characters with spaces.

don't come in my room while i'm tweeting, mom

6 August 2013 ben ‏@benicus_rex [^176.96] https://twitter.com/benicus_rex/status/364998972781236224 Bio: DAMN IT;S TRUE!!1 favstar.fm/users/benicus_rex - 3,647 tweets. 309 following. 748 followers.

It's a sad day when my favorite tweeter gets a job.

26 April 2012 Marcus ‏@MarcusOreally [^176.97] https://twitter.com/MarcusOreally/status/195545062963298305 Twitter bio and stats on 22 December 2013: One man's junk is another person's treasure. I'm not here for followers, I'm just here for fun. WPP · http://favstar.fm/users/MarcusOreally/recent - 26,057 tweets. 975 following. 4,212 followers.

My commute to work is about 43 tweets from my house.

3 April 2012 Classy Cassy ‏@Classy_Cassy89 [^176.98] https://twitter.com/classy_cassy89/status/187222301039796226 Her bio and stats on 28 October 2012: Life and times of a 40 year old single woman with a cat...got a dog too. 38,329 tweets. 8,185 following. 11,620 followers.

My Indian name would be "Tweets While Driving."

1 October 2012 Brandyn MacDonald ‏@brandynwiththey [^176.99] https://twitter.com/brandynwiththey/status/252879981242351616 His bio and stats on 1 October 2012: New Waterford, Nova Scotia. Live everyday like Maury told you it wasn't your baby. Not your doppelgänger. Location: New Waterford. 20,874 tweets. 495 following. 2,017 followers. Indian name refers to native or first peoples in North America.

It's very dangerous to tweet and drive; you may end up with TYPOS!

8 June 2012 Noor Shamma ‏@NoorShamma [^176.100] https://twitter.com/noorshamma/status/211174802969477120 Her bio and stats on 13 February 2013: I don't cry. No one's worth my boogers. http://noorshamma.tumblr.com [Instagram: noorshamma] Location: Not Found · favstar.fm/users/NoorShamma - 4,775 tweets. 785 following. 5,324 followers. "Not found" are her words in her profile.

I'm actually a really good driver, when Twitter is down.

2 January 2012 Angela J. ‏@DirtyMelodies [^176.101] https://twitter.com/DirtyMelodies/status/153992744644263936 Her bio and stats on 10 April 2013: Dog and Pony Show Instagram: @dirtymelodies http://favstar.fm/users/DirtyMelodies - Los Angeles. 5,134 tweets. 1,141 following. 7,855 followers.

*awakens 15 years later from coma induced by tragic car accident resulting in brain trauma* did I lose any followers

23 June 2012 foxy j ‏@idreamofmayo [^176.102] https://twitter.com/idreamofmayo/status/216679013886869504 Her bio and stats on 18 November 2012: kid at heart but not liver http://favstar.fm/users/idreamofmayo Location: (Hou/Bo) ston. 3,402 tweets. 231 following. 329 followers. No account with this ID found on 7 April 2013.

I'm funny, but not "only follow 300 people" funny.

3 August 2013 Ann ‏@writerPT [^176.103] https://twitter.com/writerPT/status/363800997233033216 Her bio and stats on 5 March 2014: @ambamthankyamam is my beautiful TC. One of @max_pad21's Angels. @crunchenhancer is my Slurpee bud. Don't bug me when I'm writing... http://annmacdonald.me – Location: Michigan · favstar.fm/users/writerPT – 64,068 tweets. 14,041 following. 25,116 followers. Underlining added.

Life is precious.

Waste everyday like it's your last

6 December 2011 Miss Treated @Clare_innit [^176.104] https://twitter.com/#!/Clare_innit/status/144309237227601920 Her bio and stats on 20 March 2013: Never judge a pair of tits by the slut they're attached to. Boredom drives me to write perverted, disgusting tweets. I'm sorry. Actually, I'm not. Fuck you. Location: Brightoner · http://favstar.fm/users/Clare_innit/tweets_of_the_day - 21,201 tweets. 2,394 following. 6,749 followers.

Before Twitter, I did things.

30 December 2011 Joel Ingersoll ‏@FlyoverJoel [^176.105] https://twitter.com/flyoverjoel/status/152840880997404673 His bio and stats on 10 December 2012: I get up and I put on pants. Location: Saint Paul, MN · http://favstar.fm/users/FlyoverJoel/most_retweeted - 9,975 tweets. 540 following. 6,314 followers.

Joining an online gym.

29 March 2012 Nasrin ‏@NazMraz [^176.106] https://twitter.com/NazMraz/status/185362785360822272 Her bio and stats on 17 December 2012; based on a true story. Location: look up and to the right. · http://favstar.fm/users/NazMraz - 16,510 tweets. 812 following. 2,633 followers.

Keep scrolling...

22 July 2012 Salo Sion ‏@TheREALSaloSion [^176.107] https://twitter.com/TheREALSaloSion/status/227036645906599937 Twitter bio and stats on 22 December 2013: Musician/Activist/Artist/Beige Comforter. 650 tweets. 93 following. 13,994 followers.

Try to keep up

26 August 2012 El Jefe ‏@ElJefe121 - https://twitter.com/ElJefe121/status/239851866215833600 His screen name, ID, profile and stats on 12 December 2012: Rap Game Jeffrey @RapGameJefe - Con - http://favstar.fm/users/RapGameJefe/recent - 10,871 tweets. 464 following. 1,821 followers. His Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 4 August 2013: OG Jefe @OGJefe [^176.108] Con. Location: On the run · favstar.fm/users/OGJefe/recent - 18,294 tweets. 265 following. 2,367 followers.

This is just a phase, right?

26 July 2012 Ghetto Trophy ‏@Ghetto_Trophy [^176.109] https://twitter.com/ghetto_trophy/status/228369220587626496 Her bio and stats on 28 November 2012: I'm the Forrest Gump of this place. http://ghettotrophy.tumblr.com/ - Location: United Nations/San Francisco · http://favstar.fm/users/Ghetto_Trophy/recent - 41,460 tweets. 3,598 following. 8,902 followers.

Shook a guy's hand today and that's the longest relationship I've been in in over a year.

9 February 2013 Miss Fuckalicious ‏@PyrBliss [^176.110] https://twitter.com/PyrBliss/status/300412761798762497 Her bio and stats on 13 February 2013: Swearing on Twitter is my anti-drug. Come for the cuteness, stay for the rage. I say FUCK! a lot. Location: In your pocket · http://favstar.fm/users/PyrBliss - 3,628 tweets. 881 following. 31,287 followers.

Relationship status: What's a relationship?

25 January 2014 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^176.111] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/426986562924982272 Bio: i was born 'n stuff. Location: Hanging out in my garage. · favstar.fm/users/RobotThomas - 59,457 tweets. 8,691 following. 8,308 followers.

I don't know why I do sex tweets. I might as well write about being a millionaire astronaut.

25 June 2011 BathingSuitArea ‏@bathingsuitarea [^176.112] https://twitter.com/#!/bathingsuitarea/status/84835375847186433 His Twitter bio and stats on 12 July 2013: I almost met Johnny Carson once, but then I didnt. And now I'm here. Longer stuff: http://ChasingTheEthers.tumblr.com – Location: Boston, Ma · favstar.fm/users/bathingsuitarea - 10,267 tweets. 873 following. 1,476 followers.

I don't know what people did before the internet.

Oh wait.

Yes I do!

they communicated to each other in person.

26 March 2012 foxy j ‏@idreamofmayo [^176.113] https://twitter.com/#!/idreamofmayo/status/184308783860813825 Her bio and stats on 18 November 2012: kid at heart but not liver http://favstar.fm/users/idreamofmayo Location: (Hou/Bo) ston. 3,402 tweets. 231 following. 329 followers. No account with this ID found on 7 April 2013.

**The antisocial has become social** #mambatweets

4 January 2013 Kobe Bryant ‏@kobebryant [^176.114] https://twitter.com/kobebryant/status/287245259572903937 His bio and stats on 12 May 2013: kobebryant.com - 479 tweets. 248 following. 2,532,684 followers.

Stop asking me who I'm texting, Mom. I'm tweeting. Texting requires friends.

2 August 2012 braden graeber ‏@hipstermermaid [^176.115] https://twitter.com/hipstermermaid/status/231237971871928320 His bio and stats on 25 April 2013: Braden Graeber makes, writes and overthinks things. Location: Los Angeles · http://blog.bradengraeber.com - 4,552 tweets. 395 following. 142,036 followers.

Twitter makes me feel like I have friends.

20 March 2013 Danielle ‏@defdanielle [^176.116] https://twitter.com/defdanielle/status/314387586091204608 Twitter bio and stats on 16 June 2013: I have a stuttering problem. Location: Arizona · favstar.fm/users/defdanielle - 18,779 tweets. 576 following. 2,050 followers.

phantom friends syndrome

9 May 2014 ben ‏@benicus_rex [^176.117] https://twitter.com/benicus_rex/status/464906210924167169 Bio and stats on 10 May 2014: DAMN IT;S TRUE!!1 - http://favstar.fm/users/benicus_rex - 5,354 tweets. 328 following. 745 followers.

*calls mom*

"Ma I made 3 friends on twitter today"

*long pause*

"Mom?"

*mom stares at 3 fake twitter accounts she made, fights tears*

"Mom?"

8 April 2013 sean o ‏@pudding_club [^176.118] https://twitter.com/pudding_club/status/321422412208021504 Twitter bio and stats on 31 December 2013: the archives: http://favstar.fm/users/pudding_club - Location: bay area · mypuddingclub.com - 11,064 tweets. 360 following. 3,170 followers. On 31 December 2013 this tweet was found to have accumulated 2,904 retweets and 3,896 favorites.

I need interacting lessons.

30 July 2012 Andy Glib ‏@redherringbear [^176.119] https://twitter.com/redherringbear/status/230178824581681152 His bio and stats on 14 December 2012: Word salad spinner. I mangle syntax so you don't have to. 18+ please. Location: Oregon · http://favstar.fm/users/redherringbear/ - 8,747 tweets. 2,036 following. 2,383 followers.

So what did you tweet today? Let's go around the room.

20 March 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^176.120] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/314328209288216577 Her bio: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 13,955 tweets. 2,038 following. 2,081 followers.

I tweeted a bunch of garbage today, and yourself?

21 September 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^176.121] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/249390915737751553 His bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,477 tweets. 3,154 following. 9,233 followers.

Tell me about your day in 15% battery life or less

8 January 2013 Demon Kitten ‏@kandibomber [^176.122] https://twitter.com/kandibomber/status/288869779664670721 Her Twitter bio and stats on 17 March 2014: Im not really a rockstar, but I could play one in real life. Location: Lost in Wonderland, Canada · favstar.fm/users/kandibomber - 4,007 tweets. 1,112 following. 1,463 followers.

A bad day on Twitter is still better than a good day of talking to human beings.

11 January 2012 Joel Ingersoll ‏@FlyoverJoel [^176.123] https://twitter.com/flyoverjoel/status/157196758622023680 His bio and stats on 10 December 2012: I get up and I put on pants. Location: Saint Paul, MN · http://favstar.fm/users/FlyoverJoel/most_retweeted - 9,975 tweets. 540 following. 6,314 followers.

I don't know if a night with a bunch of people met on the internet would excite me much, as it would keep me from going on the internet.

2 May 2013 Annie Troy @Killerdolce [^176.124] https://twitter.com/Killerdolce/status/330148373216755713 Her Twitter bio and stats on 29 July 2013: As long as the world offers itself to words, we will have a world to write. Location: Fortress of Solitude · imperfectly-yours.tumblr.com - 587 tweets. 2,468 following. 5,995 followers.

Can I overcome crippling shyness and go to a tweet up in my town?

Hahahahahahahahaha good one!

20 August 2013 recordstoregurl @dizzyidjit [^176.125] https://twitter.com/dizzyidjit/status/369726207098503168 Her Twitter bio and stats on 8 September 2013: You're not the boss of me. http://favstar.fm/users/dizzyidjit. 4,107 tweets. 1,004 following. 2,506 followers.

Commonly spelled as a single word, a tweetup is a social gathering organized through tweeting.

Follow me on Twitter. Add me on Instagram. Friend me on Facebook. Don't even talk to me in real life though, there are limits

15 April 2014 Artur ‏@Bagyants [^176.126] https://twitter.com/Bagyants/status/456112257844264960 Bio and stats on 17 April 2014: I didn't make it as a police officer because whenever someone asked for backup I would just sing softly. Location: Kansas · favstar.fm/users/bagyants - 346 tweets. 269 following. 9,692 followers.

Twitter is great for people who don't have friends in real life and want to keep it that way.

27 May 2011 Miss Fuckalicious ‏@PyrBliss [^176.127] https://twitter.com/pyrbliss/status/74206977328283649 Her bio and stats on 7 November 2012: Swearing on Twitter is my anti-drug. Come for the cuteness, stay for the rage. I say FUCK! a lot. Location: In your pocket · http://favstar.fm/users/PyrBliss - 2,916 tweets. 838 following. 26,747 followers.

Twitter is my "real life"

30 November 2012 Donna T ‏@sweetg35 [^176.128] https://twitter.com/sweetg35/status/274609097364602881 Her bio: I  my NY YANKEES! u boys rule! Love animals & a good sense of humor! Location: A NY State of Mind  · http://favstar.fm/users/sweetg35 - 54,095 tweets. 1,883 following. 2,099 followers. Bio and stats on 15 September 2014: Love the NY YANKEES! ⚾Also love animals & humor. (In a relationship) – Location: NY state of mind http://favstar.fm/users/sweetg35 - 350,563 tweets. 8,398 following. 29,302 followers. Underlining added.

96% of people I care about are from the internet.

2 June 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^176.129] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/341166176925253634 Bio: My voice is so husky it could pull a sled. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · pelsjas.wordpress.com - 17,472 tweets. 2,349 following. 2,428 followers.

Sometimes it feels like I've followed everyone I need to on Twitter... but then new people come along, and *BOOM*... Follow. Follow. Follow.

14 August 2012 Noor Shamma ‏@NoorShamma [^176.130] https://twitter.com/noorshamma/status/235277634697846784 Her bio and stats on 13 February 2013: I don't cry. No one's worth my boogers. http://noorshamma.tumblr.com [Instagram: noorshamma] Location: Not Found · favstar.fm/users/NoorShamma - 4,775 tweets. 785 following. 5,324 followers. "Not found" are her words in her profile.

The problem with Twitter is that after some time, everyone starts thinking of themselves as a professional writer

15 April 2012 Indian Cartman ‏@ka_unplugged [^176.131] https://twitter.com/ka_unplugged/status/191472761934315521 No Twitter account with this ID found on 22 December 2013.

The phrase after some time or simply some time is a popular phrase in Anglo-Indian English. Wait for some time, for example, may be said to diffuse tension and impatience. It can be used when explaining why someone has not shown up on time, or if a webpage is not loading.

I know what you're thinking. "When's this guy's book out?"

27 November 2012 Vanilla ‏@djr_102 [^176.132] https://twitter.com/djr_102/status/273577434794840065 His bio and stats on 28 November 2012: Darling of Twitter. Kegel instructor. Sug life. Location: Scotland. · http://favstar.fm/users/djr_102 - 24,513 tweets. 5,799 following. 9,049 followers.

everyone feels their tweets are progressively getting worse

5 November 2013 Albertus ‏@vyfdewiel [^176.133] https://twitter.com/vyfdewiel/status/397767475632152576 Bio and stats on 14 November 2013: a face you can trust. Location: South Africa. 43 tweets. 227 following. 77 followers.

I look through my draft folder like I look at my fridge and say "Ugh, there's nothing good to tweet in here!". Then slam the folder shut.

17 June 2012 Maddie ‏@gigglegirlnoel [^176.134] https://twitter.com/gigglegirlnoel/status/214494314770857984 Twitter screen name, bio and stats on 22 December 2013: Madeline @gigglegirlnoel - I'm like the special surprise of fries at the bottom of the bag. Location: Salt Lake City · favstar.fm/users/gigglegirlnoel - 1,275 tweets. 6,938 following. 11,944 followers.

A drafts folder only a mother could defend.

11 November 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^176.135] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/399855308387778560 Twitter bio and stats on 21 November 2013: of this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 16,371 tweets. 726 following. 27,435 followers.

My time is equally divided between the fridge, the bed and the interactions tab.

11 July 2012 Caffeinated Passant. ‏@AKickassHandle [^176.136] https://twitter.com/akickasshandle/status/223035387801649152 She was in Egypt. Her screen name, bio and stats on 19 February 2013: Caffeinatedical Mess - Everything in my life is black starting from coffee and ending by sarcasm.انت عاقل بجنانك و هما مجانين بعقلهم. .Bilingual تويتس.Ibrahim, Passant Ibrahim. انا مش من شرم \- 58,575 tweets. 185 following. 9,898 followers.

The interactions page could reached through the @ connect button in Twitter's user interface in 2012. The page displayed stars, retweets and new followers. The interactions tab became the "Notifications" tab in early 2014.

Fuck, I can't tweet worth a shit today. Send.

19 May 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^176.137] https://twitter.com/#!/nerdamage/status/204097378247127040 His bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,477 tweets. 3,154 following. 9,233 followers.

Tweet as if you don't have an interactions tab.

24 August 2012 Caffeinated Passant. ‏@AKickassHandle [^176.138] https://twitter.com/AKickassHandle/status/238668111098834944 Her bio and stats the next day: Everything in my life is black starting from coffee and ending by sarcasm. Life is too short to have it decaffeinated. Location: I'm not from Sharm. 29,655 tweets. 235 following. 2,377 followers. In Egypt. Her screen name, bio and stats on 19 February 2013: Caffeinatedical Mess - Everything in my life is black starting from coffee and ending by sarcasm.انت عاقل بجنانك و هما مجانين بعقلهم. .Bilingual تويتس.Ibrahim, Passant Ibrahim. انا مش من شرم \- 58,575 tweets. 185 following. 9,898 followers. The interactions tab became the "Notifications" tab in early 2014.

Digging a hole, one hundred and forty characters at a time...

27 May2012 Bruce Bastarache ‏@brucebastarache [^176.139] https://twitter.com/brucebastarache/status/206934870381965312 His bio: a social chameleon that refuses to blend in, a really moral wooer of shrews and working on a Ph.D in Bachelorhood. Location: Saint John, N.B. 881 tweets, 281 followers.

Alright. Enough practice. I'm ready to write my first tweet. Here I go.

9 May 2012 I Hate Kate ‏@kirbys4losers - https://twitter.com/kirbys4losers/status/200367939088695297 - @kirbys4losers found as ‏@SuperApple8 [^176.140] on 29 October 2012. On 23 April 2013 no Twitter account found for either @kirbys4losers or ‏@SuperApple8. Twitter bio and stats for @SuperApple8 on 19 February 2013: Life is like a box of chocolate. I hate chocolate. favstar.fm/users/SuperApple8 - 6,051 tweets. 1,661 following. 8,354 followers.

She had already tweeted over 3,000 times from that account.

I think after writing 50k tweets, they should give you a free cat.

31 May 2013 ecornuto ‏@ecorno2 [^176.141] https://twitter.com/ecorno2/status/340405199678078977 His bio and stats on 2 June 2013: Si può entrare, ma pulire le scarpe prima. 7,381 tweets. 1,079 following. 6,947 followers.

I heard once you hit 5000 followers you instantly have a boyfriend and a career can't wait

11 July 2013 lisa ‏@Squeeb_Slayer [^176.142] https://twitter.com/Squeeb_Slayer/status/355466584992645120 Her Twitter bio and stats on 12 July 2013: WE JUST MADE EYE CONTACT, I LIVE WITH MY PARENTS, WANNA BE MY BOYFRIEND? Crossfit Carly on Aggression TV's 'The Gym'. My rap song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bw6gRIk1-RM Location: CANADA · favstar.fm/users/Squeeb_Slayer - 7,017 tweets. 596 following. 5,032 followers.

Life is a spider and I'm caught in its world wide web.

17 September 2012 Pelsjas @elsaPelsjas [^176.143] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/247623306021314560 Her bio and stats on 14 November 2012: I take half the stuffing out of soft toys because no one is allowed to be THAT happy and then I write copy for ads. Location: Cape Town, South-Africa · http://pelsjas.wordpress.com - 10,223 tweets. 1,918 following. 1,773 followers.

Anyone checked lately to see if there are still other web sites?

14 March 2012 Just Bill ‏@WilliamAder [^176.144] https://twitter.com/#!/WilliamAder/status/180088190500212737 His bio and stats on 30 October 2012: I'll be here all weak. http://favstar.fm/users/WilliamAder - 6,610 tweets. 4,007 following. 9,539 followers.

Favrd's down

26 July 2012 bllix, the tinier ‏@tinybllix - https://twitter.com/tinybllix/status/228556072347115520 Her bio and stats on 28 February 2013: Yes, I'm @bllix. No, I'm not a bot. Yes, I'm also @loudbllix. No, I'm not schizophrenic. Yes, I'm real. No, I'm not a dude. Yes, I'm single. No, I'm busy later. Location: Portland, OR. · http://www.twitter.com/bllix - 3,853 tweets. 199 following. 1,357 followers. The same author posts as @bllix [^176.145], @tinybllix, @loudbllix and @bllixodus.

Favrd had been down for two and a half years by then.

This was so much better before the nostalgia.

18 September 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^176.146] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/247953489114845185 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 14,015 tweets. 3,128 following. 9,547 followers.

Tweeted six days after Favstar was found to have moved to a redesigned website.

If you haven't lost your job, your kids, your wife, and sold your collection of priceless Spanish doubloons, you're not doing Twitter right.

22 July 2012 Jeff Porper ‏@jeffporper [^176.147] https://twitter.com/jeffporper/status/227239452613955584 His bio and stats on 21 April 2013: little, jewish, indifferent. Location: Stamford, CT · http://favstar.fm/users/jeffporper 5,538 tweets. 641 following. 1,271 followers.

I'M SO SORRY MOM

26 July 2012 Mae ‏@mzeld [^176.148] https://twitter.com/mzeld/status/228595501212237824 Her bio and stats on 12 November 2012: LET'S DO TWEETS OFF EACH OTHER'S BUTTS http://www.internet.com - 16,846 tweets. 698 following. 21,805 followers.

One solid real-life friend is worth 10k twitter followers. I have neither.

24 July 2012 Jason Stillbourne ‏@apatheticist [^176.149] https://twitter.com/apatheticist/status/227990034333171713 Bio: Someone else's problem. 8,337 tweets. 1,035 following. 2,621 followers.

I just pretend to have no friends to fit in here..

4 April 2013 ShoutingGoddess ‏@ShoutingGoddess [^176.150] https://twitter.com/ShoutingGoddess/status/319905509119520768 Don't read this shit. Go read a book. 120,527 tweets. 2,571 following. 21,827 followers.

I'm so in love with all of you its debilitating.

1:27 p.m. 30 October 2012 yourJester ‏@Loli_Sug [^176.151] https://twitter.com/Loli_Sug/status/263376533102682112 Her bio: Often inappropriate & by often i mean frequently & by frequently i mean always. My favorite flavor is Vanilla. Location: so close I almost touch · http://favstar.fm/users/Loli_Sug - 51,324 tweets. 2,884 following. 8,238 followers.

One minute later:

Ooop. Never mind. I hate you all again

1:28 p.m. 30 October 2012 yourJester ‏@Loli_Sug [^176.152] https://twitter.com/Loli_Sug/status/263376971420012546 Her bio: Often inappropriate & by often i mean frequently & by frequently i mean always. My favorite flavor is Vanilla. Location: so close I almost touch · http://favstar.fm/users/Loli_Sug - 51,324 tweets. 2,884 following. 8,238 followers. Underlining added.

Remember when we all liked each other and exchanged names? Lol.

9:20 p.m. PDT 21 May 2013 CatasTrophy ‏@Ghetto_Trophy [^176.153] https://twitter.com/Ghetto_Trophy/status/337060293844819968 Her bio: I'm just here to start a Ponzi scheme. @SFTweetUp2013 tweetup SF, 7.19.13 – Location: United Nations/San Francisco · favstar.fm/users/Ghetto_Trophy/recent - 52,738 tweets. 3,652 following. 12,441 followers. Found because it was retweeted by @FuzzyPimple, whose subtweeted reply appears below.

I'll have my people block your people.

10:55 p.m. PDT 21 May 2013 Fuzzy LePimp ‏@FuzzyPimple [^176.154] https://twitter.com/FuzzyPimple/status/337084349444935680 Bio: I used to have a pimple, now I don't. Location: Under The Westgate. Melbourne. 32,421 tweets. 704 following. 10,266 followers.

*blocks Favstar*

31 March 2014 Julie Baby ‏@inScytheful [^176.155] https://twitter.com/inScytheful/status/450543328254115840 Bio and stats on 5 April 2014: ....Paris, and the medicine, and the King. Location: nucleus accumbens. http://science.nasa.gov/astrophysics/focus-areas/what-is-dark-energy/ \- 11,047 tweets. 763 following. 1,844 followers.

I'm kinda terrified that I'm gonna grow old with you guys.

19 May 2013 rachow ‏@rachow [^176.156] https://twitter.com/rachow/status/336291255950643201 Her Twitter bio and stats on 30 May 2013: in a relationship. Location: boston. 3,908 tweets. 598 following. 12,101 followers.

Some imaginary friends YOU turned out to be!

31 January 2013 Fussy Hormonella ‏@Hormonella [^176.157] https://twitter.com/Hormonella/status/297071698677727232 Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: My body is not my temple. It's more like my bar and grill. Location: Stepford · http://favstar.fm/users/Hormonella/recent - 34,731 tweets. 18,731 following. 21,770 followers.

I just added "have sex again" to my bucket list.

18 May 12 Miss Fuckalicious ‏@PyrBliss [^176.158] https://twitter.com/pyrbliss/status/203717090476175362

Her bio and stats on 7 November 2012: Swearing on Twitter is my anti-drug. Come for the cuteness, stay for the rage. I say FUCK! a lot. Location: In your pocket · http://favstar.fm/users/PyrBliss - 2,916 tweets. 838 following. 26,747 followers.

I'll teach you how to tweet if you teach real people to love me.

29 December 2012 Unstatusfactory ‏@unstatusfactory [^176.159] https://twitter.com/unstatusfactory/status/285293871917846528 His bio: I am weird. You are weird. Everybody is weird. I have Aspergers Syndrome, and I suck at explaining what it is. It basically means that people think I am weird. Location: Wellington, New Zealand. · http://unstatusfactory.tumblr.com/ - 5,685 tweets. 1,104 following. 1,529 followers.

What are we doing.

Who are we fooling.

1 November 2012 SEAN ‏@SRbeta [^176.160] https://twitter.com/SRbeta/status/263167396477534209 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: Clams were not a delicacy at the time, but of a poor mans diet. http://mrbagel.tumblr.com - 28,884 tweets. 439 following. 2,274 followers.

Wish I knew why I am like this.

26 August 2012 donni ‏@donni [^176.161] https://twitter.com/donni/status/239962297047580672 He had 24,439 followers at the time. His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Comedy sand wedge. Writer, performer, fledgling opener, packet submitter. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Sea cows probably never see cows. Location: Chicago City Of Wind · http://qr.net/donni - 9,640 tweets. 839 following. 25,773 followers.

What's wrong with me

8 August 2012 The Doctor ‏@DouchyDocLove - https://twitter.com/DouchyDocLove/status/233301298273976320 - 31,716 tweets. 1,272 following. 729 followers. His Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 24 December 2013: Captain Chaos @TheTrueDocLove [^176.162] this space for rent. free to a willing home. 76,553 tweets. 796 following. 1,483 followers. Underlining added.

I'm losing me.

19 November 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^176.163] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/402906436658688000 Twitter bio and stats on 21 November 2013 of this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 16,371 tweets. 726 following. 27,435 followers.

Like anyone really needs to explain why they are leaving Twitter...

We get it.

It fucks your mind.

Ruins your life.

See you in 2 weeks.

11 September 2011 happy ‏@happygodrink [^176.164] https://twitter.com/happygodrink/status/112789010522447872 Her bio and stats on 30 April 2013: plays well with others. Location: land of enchantment. 5,034 tweets. 640 following. 4,549 followers.

Goodbye tweets are the best. Because no one gets out of here. Ever.

So I laugh and laugh then go back to pulling my lashes out one by one.

12 December 2012 Just Lee ‏@Just_Lee_ [^176.165] https://twitter.com/Just_Lee_/status/279097190633332736 Her bio and stats on 16 December 2012: I have Twitter Tourette Syndrome. Its a real thing. And its incurable. So fuck it. http://favstar.fm/users/just_lee_ 25,275 tweets. 1,576 following. 13,096 followers. Her bio and stats on 15 April 2014: Lets not make this personal. 781 tweets. 487 following. 2,306 followers.

When you come to the realisation that you can't do twitter anymore.

That is when you know you belong and are here to stay.

29 January 2013 Fuzzy Pimple ‏@FuzzyPimple [^176.166] https://twitter.com/FuzzyPimple/status/296501783403057153 His bio and stats on 10 March 2013: I used to have a pimple, now I don't. Location: Under The Westgate. Melbourne. 30,105 tweets. 768 following. 9,584 followers.

There is no more IRL.

Once on the network, always on the network.

The network is alive while you are away.

20 December 2013 Max Fenton ✰ @maxfenton [^176.167] https://twitter.com/maxfenton/status/414291178604232704 Bio and stats on 21 December 2013: Online editor of @believermag, apprentice developer at @flatinc, and husband to @nicoleslaw. Pretty good at computers. maxfenton.com - 27,313 tweets. 732 following. 2,558 followers. IRL = in real life.

When do we accept "on the internet" is as much IRL as myriad other things we do?

How much more attenuated to seamlessness of it must we be?

15 October 2012 Kat Veetee ‏@silentkpants [^176.168] https://twitter.com/silentkpants/status/257990449057394690

Bio and stats the next day: Militant hysterical overreacting feminist cunts unite! Fun at parties. Location: PDX - Portland, Oregon. 9,735 tweets. 448 following. 609 followers.

twitter is starting to make a lot more sense now that most of you are unfollowing me.

14 November 2013 p skittle ‏@preawsaurus [^176.169] https://twitter.com/preawsaurus/status/401020444439875584 Her Twitter bio and stats on 16 November 2013: professionally me. asshole connoisseur. fan of misanthropes. lover of wrongs. Location: Tellus. 15,295 tweets. 680 following. 9,171 followers.

Trying to quit twitter is just as stupid as joining it in the first place.

20 October 2012 McBride ‏@shatterpants [^176.170] https://twitter.com/shatterpants/status/259732034107351041 Bio: Going to hell but so are you for reading this filth. Location: Spatula City. http://favstar.fm/users/shatterpants/recent - 11,009 tweets. 870 following. 4,189 followers.

I didn't choose twitter, twitter chose me.

22 June 2013 Fuzzy LePimp ‏@FuzzyPimple [^176.171] https://twitter.com/FuzzyPimple/status/348399379952054273 His Twitter bio and stats on 24 June 2013: I used to have a pimple, now I don't. Location: Under The Westgate. Melbourne. 31,362 tweets. 635 following. 10,475 followers.

There's a lot of people quitting Twitter.

I don't understand it.

This is important.

10 February 2013 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^176.172] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/300530853547765760 His bio and stats on 27 February 2013: I tweet so you don't have to. https://soundcloud.com/nerdamage-1/05hund4m463 - 16,272 tweets. 3,373 following. 11,597 followers.

Ribbons, but for twittercides.

15 December 2013 Sin ‏@insinuateme [^176.173] https://twitter.com/insinuateme/status/412481260649345024 Bio: I'm a bad boy wannabe. But in reality just a boy gone bad. Pussywhipped by @sinskitten IRL. favstar.fm/users/insinuateme - 12,024 tweets. 1,061 following. 2,365 followers.

Most of the people I really like and enjoy aren't here that much anymore.

5 August 2013 notyourjester ‏@Loli_Sug [^176.174] https://twitter.com/Loli_Sug/status/364368771797884928 Her Twitter bio and stats on 12 August 2013: Please leave your message at the beep. Location: Punching stuff with Vanilla · favstar.fm/users/Loli_Sug - 88,630 tweets. 3,495 following. 16,419 followers.

Don't worry twitter... I'll never be happy enough to leave you.

19 June 2012 Rock God ‏@redpawn3 [^176.175] https://twitter.com/redpawn3/status/215064351617449986 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Solitary Dad, with my kids 5/6 out of 14 days. Location: Backstage · http://favstar.fm/users/redpawn3 - 58,559 tweets. 3,037 following. 5,069 followers.

Maybe this is happy.

20 April 2013 Brian ‏@BDGarp [^176.176] https://twitter.com/BDGarp/status/325825190921637889 Bio and stats on 22 April 2013: Consultant. Writer for DC Examiner. Author of Dreams of Perfection. Passionate apathy. Location: Arlington, Va. · bdgarp.tumblr.com - 12,356 tweets. 2,475 following. 13,289 followers.

I quit Twitter a while ago. I just haven't left yet.

7 November 2012 Shane ‏@shanethevein [^176.177] https://twitter.com/shanethevein/status/266357467015946240 Twitter bio and stats on 29 June 2013: Twitter should be an escape, not a destination. http://favstar.fm/users/shanethevein - Location: America's Finest City! · shanethevein.tumblr.com - 24,711 tweets. 5,634 following. 19,414 followers.

So this is what a dead account feels like.

26 August 2013 morros @Morros [^176.178] https://twitter.com/Morros/status/372092978476490752 Twitter bio and stats on 19 September 2013: Please to put back in tomb. Location: Portland,OR. 8,123 tweets. 528 following. 1,593 followers. Self referential.

I'm not jealous of anyone on Twitter; I'm jealous of those of us who left and never needed to come back.

1 August 2012 Jessica ‏@Schmoodles [^176.179] https://twitter.com/schmoodles/status/230907291367534592 Her bio and stats on 4 November 2012: I silently mouth the words 'What the fuck?' at least 20 times a day. Location: Goon Docks, Astoria, Oregon. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,316 tweets. 1,026 following. 35,696 followers. Her bio and stats on 1 March 2013: Being a grownup has been a fucking disaster so far. Location: LV-426. · http://favstar.fm/users/Schmoodles - 3,647 tweets. 1,115 following. 52,177 followers.

Tweeted less than a year after she left and came back.

There is still a world out there to be discovered and experienced.

10 February 2013 Amar Mahboob ‏@d88pdive [^176.180] https://twitter.com/d88pdive/status/300575157024604160 His bio: Documentary filmmaker. Urdu short story writer. Scuba diver & Instructor. Underwater Cameraman. Linux guru. Electrical engineer. Entrepreneur. Location: Karachi · http://youtube.com/amartipu - 4,360 tweets. 298 following. 316 followers. No Twitter account with this ID found on 8 October 2014. His display photo showed him scuba diving.

If you make it to the outside world, send help.

21 August 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^176.181] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/238045001181958144 His bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,477 tweets. 3,154 following. 9,233 followers.

Twitter is a cute name for a cult.

22 April 2012 Miss Fuckalicious ‏@PyrBliss [^176.182] https://twitter.com/pyrbliss/status/194246651441983488

Her bio and stats on 7 November 2012: Swearing on Twitter is my anti-drug. Come for the cuteness, stay for the rage. I say FUCK! a lot. Location: In your pocket · http://favstar.fm/users/PyrBliss - 2,916 tweets. 838 following. 26,747 followers.

This is the most apathetic cult ever.

7 October 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^176.183] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/254983473184526336 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 14,015 tweets. 3,128 following. 9,547 followers.

Reply:

@nerdamage **meh.**

7 October 2012 jeff gladstone ‏@jeffgladstone [^176.184] https://twitter.com/jeffgladstone/status/254983592168529920 His bio and stats on 24 December 2013: i've away with words. words words. 6,408 tweets. 753 following. 1,175 followers. On 24 December 2013 this tweet was found to have been deleted.

Addiction is a funny word...I can't get enough of it.

16 September 2012 Chopper ‏@chopper4jk [^176.185] https://twitter.com/chopper4jk/status/247267681689018370 His bio and stats on 27 October 2012: Yeah, I really just said that...Get over it...Usually up @chrisanna4real's skirt - IG chopper4jk http://favstar.fm/users/chopper4jk Location: Hood River OR. 16,044 tweets. 19,525 following. 20,795 followers. Location: Hood River OR. 14,869 tweets. 17,573 following. 18,640 followers.

I keep my TL on the DL in RL

13 July 2012 SEAN ‏@SRbeta [^176.186] https://twitter.com/srbeta/status/223992414443012097 His bio and stats on 3 November 2012: Clams were not a delicacy at the time, but of a poor mans diet. http://mrbagel.tumblr.com - 28,884 tweets. 439 following. 2,274 followers.

TL = time line. DL = down low. RL = real life.

Each time I think of quitting Twitter,

real life gives me a reason to stay on

2 September 2013 The Bad Doctor ‏@doctoratlarge [^176.187] https://twitter.com/doctoratlarge/status/374590399563567104 His Twitter bio and stats on 3 September 2013: Life is what you make of it. So I made a Twitter account. doctoratlarge.wordpress.com. 44,450 tweets. 306 following. 25,846 followers. Underlining added.

What do you mean you have a life AND a Twitter account?

18 September 2012 Dany ‏@DanOverHere [^176.188] https://twitter.com/DanOverHere/status/247720580231618560 Stats: 10,791 tweets. 661 following. 2,807 followers. His bio and stats on 6 May 2013: My mom doesn't even think I'm special. Location: Beirut. 2,742 tweets. 451 following. 5,817 followers.

Ugh hanging out with people who aren't on twitter is so frustrating, like what are we supposed to talk about?

18 March 2013 Tricia ‏@Im_Tricia [^176.189] https://twitter.com/Im_Tricia/status/313868047217741824 Her bio and stats on 4 April 2013: Jazz hands for life. Follow me on Instagram & Vine: Im_Tricia. Location: Los Angeles · http://favstar.fm/users/Im_Tricia - 3,349 tweets. 655 following. 25,990 followers.

Why can't we just hang out like technology didn't exist?

10 November 2012 Panda ‏@ispypanda [^176.190] https://twitter.com/ispypanda/status/267489113169620992 Her bio and stats on 13 November 2012: I put cupcake lotion on because I'm an adult. I'm also @PuddingBoobs's Butthole Dragon. http://favstar.fm/users/ispypanda/recent - 21,959 tweets. 1,010 following. 10,609 followers.

friends.

Conversation and life.

Room of twelve people.

Not one knows about what happened on twitter last week.

Spooky.

On a Sunday afternoon in India, 26 August 2012 via Mobile Web. calamur ‏@calamur [^176.191] https://twitter.com/calamur/status/239651090843451392 - 74,697 tweets. 522 following. 11,280 followers. Her bio and stats on 29 April 2013: Harini Calamur - Media Entrepreneur, Award Winning Film Maker, Columnist, writer, blogger, teacher, wry observer & the main slave to an imperious hound(ess). Location: Mumbai · http://calamur.org/gargi - 101,152 tweets. 584 following. 18,224 followers. Underlining added.

I am a huge proponent of internet-free speech.

17 March 2010 Julie Kresen Barnes ‏@jkresen [^176.192] https://twitter.com/jkresen/status/10619439240 Her Twitter bio and stats on 26 June 2013, when her two most recent tweets were dated 1 June 2012 and 11 May 2010: Pittsburgh PA. 104 tweets. 78 following. 192 followers.

I answered the phone today.

A social call.

I gossiped.

I interacted positively with another human.

TAKE THAT, ANXIETY DISORDER!

7 December 2012 Rachie ‏@rachiecandice [^176.193] https://twitter.com/rachiecandice/status/276971925014724608 Her bio and stats on 9 December 2012: I'm pretty sure I enjoy breasts much much more than you do. So much so, I carry some with me at all times. Location: Melbourne, Australia · http://favstar.fm/users/rachiecandice - 4,998 tweets. 695 following. 7,676 followers.

**I'm here for a good time, not a long time** ;)

10 October 2012 Manda ‏@lilgapeach30 [^176.194] https://twitter.com/lilgapeach30/status/256193615347470336 Her bio: There's a certain happiness in being silly and ridiculous. If you don't get that, you won't get me! I'm occasionally funny, but I always RT greatness. http://favstar.fm/users/lilgapeach30/most_retweeted - 3,186 tweets. 1,133 following. 1,721 followers.

We are drowning in information but starved for knowledge.

30 May 2012 Malak Mansour ‏@xMalakMansourx [^176.195] https://twitter.com/xMalakMansourx/status/207802573296631808/photo/1 Her bio and stats on 27 November 2012: A fictional character created by your perception. 3,255 tweets. 280 following. 503 followers.

awake 30 minutes, 16 tabs.

Aww yeah

Noon on a Sunday in Washington DC, 15 July 2012, Kelsey D Atherton ‏@the_boy - https://twitter.com/the_boy/status/224536184263680000 On 22 December 2012 @the_boy was found to have become ‏@AthertonKD [^176.196] while retaining the screen name Kelsey D Atherton. His bio and stats on 22 December 2012: These tweets are drones. // High volume feed, mostly #NatSec, #Warkids, #BlogTarkin. RTs are conversations, not endorsements. Favs are variable. Cheers! Location: DC, Duke City or Crescent City · http://kelseydatherton.wordpress.com - 34,737 tweets. 757 following, 1,144 followers.

Browser tabs were first introduced by Mozilla in 2002 for its Firefox browser. Microsoft added the tab feature to its Internet Explorer browser in 2005.

I have 13 tabs open right now. my life is spiraling out of control.

18 February 2013 GreenTeam ‏@XGreenTeam [^176.197] https://twitter.com/XGreenTeam/status/303706200707567616 Bio and stats on 19 February 2013: writer, drunk, gentleman, hXc Trekkie, hidea man, aspiring time traveler. I like to do weird stuff sometimes, a lot. 140 Character tweets, sometimes. yo haters! *Points up at SPACE* · xgreenteam.tumblr.com/ask - 2,643 tweets. 711 following. 241 followers.

What if, in the end, it all mattered

7 May 2012 angel ‏@bizarre3angles [^176.198] https://twitter.com/bizarre3angles/status/199726323042754560 Her bio and stats on 6 September 2012: not a big deal. 960 tweets. 198 following. 593 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 1 August 2013: not a big deal. 1,354 tweets. 186 following. 742 followers.

• • • • •

Stage 1 of Twitter addiction: Experimentation

Sign up. Think of a funny or cool handle.

Starter tweet: "I don't get the point of this"

4 December 2012 Peauxp Benedict XVI ‏@NotJPo [^176.199] https://twitter.com/NotJPo/status/276071255709458432 No bio on 2 January 2013, just this screen name and these stats: Peauxtassium, k? 13,179 tweets. 2,091 following. 20,472 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 15 December 2013: I have PMS. 16,932 tweets. 2,187 following. 26,140 followers.

Stage 2 of Twitter addiction: Regular Use

Find people to follow and @ every day.

You'll find yourself smiling and your spirits lifted. Yay!

4 December 2012 Peauxp Benedict XVI ‏@NotJPo [^176.200] https://twitter.com/NotJPo/status/276071296197091329 No bio on 2 January 2013, just this screen name and these stats: Peauxtassium, k? 13,179 tweets. 2,091 following. 20,472 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 15 December 2013: I have PMS. 16,932 tweets. 2,187 following. 26,140 followers.

Stage 3 of Twitter addiction: Abuse

You find yourself extremely irritable in situations that don't allow phone usage.

Hide in the bathroom.

4 December 2012 Peauxp Benedict XVI ‏@NotJPo [^176.201] https://twitter.com/NotJPo/status/276071371916865537 No bio on 2 January 2013, just this screen name and these stats: Peauxtassium, k? 13,179 tweets. 2,091 following. 20,472 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 15 December 2013: I have PMS. 16,932 tweets. 2,187 following. 26,140 followers.

Stage 4 of Twitter addiction: Dependency

This is the part where your loved ones disown you.

It's cool. You still have us.

4 December 2012 Peauxp Benedict XVI ‏@NotJPo [^176.202] https://twitter.com/NotJPo/status/276071515534020609 No bio on 2 January 2013, just this screen name and these stats: Peauxtassium, k? 13,179 tweets. 2,091 following. 20,472 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 15 December 2013: I have PMS. 16,932 tweets. 2,187 following. 26,140 followers.

• • • • •

We steal thoughts from each other.

It's the perfect relationship.

1 September 2013 Silver Kick ‏@SilverKick [^176.203] https://twitter.com/SilverKick/status/374097047097323520 Her bio: My feet are allergic to flats. http://thesilverkickdiaries.com IG: shabanaferoze - http://favstar.fm/users/SilverKick/recent - 38,646 tweets. 1,005 following. 6,194 followers.

Hivesmind

11 January 2014 rjctr ‏@rejecter [^176.204] https://twitter.com/rejecter/status/421825619098628096 Her bio: Fogbound, in disrepair. 17,360 tweets. 289 following. 4,392 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  177. INAD revisited

INAD is revisited here before returning to the subject of Internet addiction. The Brazilian novelist Paulo Coelho, with over five million followers, provides our introduction:

What makes people weak? Their need for validation and recognition

5 September 2012 Paulo Coelho ‏@paulocoelho [^177.1] https://twitter.com/paulocoelho/status/243316591775842304 Bio: writer. Location: Rio de Janeiro. 16,871 tweets. 97 following. 5,539,715 followers.

Then Paulo Coelho added:

Never met someone with no Ego (myself included)

RT @thatfootieguy "@paulocoelho: What makes people weak? Their need for validation"/ & Ego.

5 September 2012 Paulo Coelho ‏@paulocoelho [^177.2] https://twitter.com/paulocoelho/status/243326583958540288 Bio: writer. Location: Rio de Janeiro. 16,871 tweets. 97 following. 5,539,715 followers.

@thatfootieguy [^177.3] No Twitter account with this ID found on 24 December 2013.

Reply:

@paulocoelho **we need ego - it's the thing that makes us doubt as well as over believe - it just needs to be balanced**

5 September 2012 Vicky Gillies ‏@VickyGillies [^177.4] https://twitter.com/VickyGillies/status/243328601276182528 Bio: Fascinated by Cloud. My tweets are my own. Location: Hampshire, England · http://www.ibm.com/uk/ 530 tweets. 331 following. 286 followers.

I understand the want for attention and validation, but with a bit of dignity, you'll still get attention and won't need any validation.

7 November 2012 Galia Mango ‏@galiamango [^177.5] https://twitter.com/galiamango/status/266187403562196992 Her bio and stats on 8 November 2012: I make clothes and stuff. Location: Amman, Jordan · http://www.galiamango.com - 5,001 tweets. 990 following. 11,533 followers.

When the pop artist Andy Warhol arrived on the art scene in New York City and began exhibiting his work there in the 1950s, he was neither popular artistically nor socially. He was seen as annoying and desperate for attention. Consequently, people ignored him. Warhol then withdrew and quietly re-invented himself. Upon returning to the city's art scene, he was reserved and sometimes mysterious. Distancing helped Warhol become one of the most sought-after artists in modern history.

Source of information about Warhol above: The Art of Seduction, by Robert Greene, New York: Viking hardback, 2001, pages 71-73. Twitter bio and stats on 19 March 2013 for Robert Greene @RobertGreene [^177.6] Bestselling author of The 48 Laws of Power, The 50th Law, and Mastery. Board of Directors at @americanapparel - Location: Los Angeles, CA · http://powerseductionandwar.com - 139 tweets. 49 following. 15,926 followers.

The quickest way to get someone's attention is to no longer want it.

27 November 2010 tackie_jackie ‏@tackie_jackie [^177.7] https://twitter.com/tackie_jackie/status/8570411000270848 Her bio and stats on 16 May 2013: Bio, my ass. Hoo-ah! 9,972 tweets. 872 following. 9,381 followers.

The difference is indifference.

15 May 2013 Rock God ‏@redpawn3 [^177.8] https://twitter.com/redpawn3/status/334901055487873024 His bio: Can't go back to the way things were. http://favstar.fm/users/redpawn3 - 70,608 tweets. 3,459 following. 5,721 followers.

The real secret to being boring is leaving nothing to mystery or imagination.

14 May 2013 juicymorsel ‏@juicymorsel [^177.9] https://twitter.com/juicymorsel/status/334507892285771777 Her bio and stats on 16 May 2013: I'd leave more things unsaid, but I'm a woman. Location: South, USA · http://favstar.fm/users/juicymorsel - 31,458 tweets. 627 following. 6,778 followers.

• • • • •

" **We're in the middle of a narcissism epidemic.** "

[Link]

Our Dangerous Obsession with External (social media) Recognition

15 December 2013 midtowngirl ‏@_Midtowngirl [^177.10] https://twitter.com/_Midtowngirl/status/412406048029298688 Twitter bio and stats the next day: Investment Banking.100% Nerd.@CalhounSchool & @Columbia alum. Native NY'er (Born & Raised on Upper West Side) with cynical outlook on life only true NYers have. Location: Midtown, Manhattan. 16,624 tweets. 298 following. 695 followers.

" **Our unending use of social media has radically elevated the level of ego in our personal lives** "

[Link]

15 December 2013 midtowngirl ‏@_Midtowngirl [^177.11] https://twitter.com/_Midtowngirl/status/412407173751115779 Twitter bio and stats the next day: Investment Banking.100% Nerd.@CalhounSchool & @Columbia alum. Native NY'er (Born & Raised on Upper West Side) with cynical outlook on life only true NYers have. Location: Midtown, Manhattan. 16,624 tweets. 298 following. 695 followers.

In the two tweets above, the links point to the source of the quotes in those tweets:

"Our Dangerous Obsession with External Recognition," by Daniel Gulati, HBR Blog Network of the Harvard Biz Review, 10 December 2013,  http://blogs.hbr.org/2013/12/our-dangerous-obsession-with-external-recognition/

HBR Blog Network's biography of Daniel Gulati on 16 December 2013: Daniel Gulati is a tech entrepreneur based in New York. He is a coauthor of the book Passion & Purpose: Stories from the Best and Brightest Young Business Leaders and a contributor to the HBR Guide to Getting the Right Job.

Daniel Gulati @DanielGulati [^177.12 and ^177.13 for the quotes in the two tweets above. For the three quotes grouped below, separated by ellipsis: ^177.14, ^177.15, ^177.16] Twitter bio and stats on 16 December 2013: I founded FashionStake, wrote Passion & Purpose and did a third thing. Location: New York · hbr.org/passion-purpose - 988 tweets. 295 following. 8,251 followers.

Harvard Biz Review @HarvardBiz [^177.17 and ^177.18 for the quotes in the two tweets above. For the three quotes grouped below, separated by ellipsis: ^177.19, ^177.20, ^177.21] Twitter bio and stats on 16 December 2013: The latest Harvard Business Review blog posts, Management Tips of the Day, Daily Stats, and more. Location: Boston, MA · hbr.org. 18,503 tweets. 179 following. 1,317,830 followers.

If we are thinking about ourselves all the time and focusing, to the point of obsession, on our social media accounts, this can make it harder to communicate with others in real life.

Daniel Gulati had this to say in an HBR blog post about how social media has boosted the role of ego in our lives:

Two Western Illinois University researchers found a high correlation between Narcissistic Personality Inventory scores and Facebook activity. Countless other study sample groups, from pop musicians to Millennials, prove that we are in the middle of a "narcissism epidemic."

This obsession with external recognition is now entering our professional lives. Every day, even the most disciplined entrepreneurs, executives, and consultants are becoming addicted to the powerful endorphins associated with heightened visibility. They invest disproportionate time and effort into advancing their own personal fame bubbles at the expense of broader goals and potentially threaten their careers as a result. Teens posting selfies on Instagram is one thing. But when visibility trumps vision in the working world, there are several dangerous consequences that can arise.

First, we distance ourselves from the fundamental growth engine of our careers. In other words, we lose sight of what really matters...Our LinkedIn connections, speaking engagements, and press profiles should be seen as rewards for the value we create, not the actual process by which value is created. If you're too focused on these "vanity metrics," you risk painting an all-too optimistic picture of yourself without accurately identifying, measuring, and improving the underlying drivers of your performance. How can you improve what you don't measure?

Second, we misallocate our time and attention. Going for visibility is not only exhausting, it's distracting. Steve said, "It takes real effort [to manage my online profile]. But it's also the additional time I spend thinking about it when I'm supposed to be doing other work." Research shows how everyday social media multitasking reduces our cognitive depth. But take it a little further, and you might actually be destroying significant value. Lamented Steve: "Maybe if I reallocated the time it took me to gain 1,000 followers into mentoring a star analyst, she might still be at the firm."

Third, we alienate critical nodes in our professional networks. If you let your quest for visibility drive your behaviors, your bosses, colleagues, partners, and investors may quickly scurry offside...

Focus on achieving your vision first, and you'll be more visible than you can imagine.

[End of three quotes from Daniel Gulati's HBR blog post. The quotes are separated by ellipsis.]

"Yes but how can I make this about me?" - our entire garbage generation

16 April 2014 Artur ‏@Bagyants [^177.22] https://twitter.com/Bagyants/status/456434079223672832 Bio and stats on 17 April 2014: I didn't make it as a police officer because whenever someone asked for backup I would just sing softly. Location: Kansas · favstar.fm/users/bagyants - 346 tweets. 269 following. 9,692 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  178. Coping strategies for social media addiction

What the Internet is doing to our brains – a charming animation http://j.mp/123IFp0

12 May 2013 Maria Popova @brainpicker [^178.1] https://twitter.com/brainpicker/status/333719018009661441 Twitter bio: Interestingness hunter-gatherer obsessed with combinatorial creativity. Editor of @brainpickings & @explorer. Bylines for @WiredUK & @TheAtlantic. MIT Fellow. Location: Brooklyn, NY · http://brainpickings.org - 68,130 tweets. 320 following. 335,386 followers.

Maria Popova's link pointed to this page, which expresses the ideas of Nicholas Carr in a video animation:

"Nicholas Carr on What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains," By EDW Lynch, Laughing Squid, 7 May 7, 2013, http://laughingsquid.com/nicholas-carr-on-what-the-internet-is-doing-to-our-brains/

The video shown above on Laughing Squid:

"What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains Epipheo.TV]," animation by Greg Walter @2TallGreg, Epipheo, @epipheo, 6 May 2013, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKaWJ72x1rI Twitter bios and stats for @2TallGreg and @epipheo can be found below.

The post by EDW Lynch on Laughing Squid contains a link to the video cited below. EDW Lynch introduces the video:

"Author Nicholas Carr talks about how the Internet is affecting our brains, from our creativity to our ability to learn, in this animation by Epipheo. Carr provides much more information on the subject in his book, The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains."

Nicholas Carr summarized and paraphrased:

Internet over-exposure keeps us in a perpetual state of distraction, which crowds out other types of thinking. It promotes compulsive behavior and is making us superficial. Paying attention is fundamental for productivity and knowledge building. We need to train ourselves to limit our exposure to activity streams, because of how such exposure changes our brains.

Nicholas Carr said that in prehistoric times, being easily distracted was a human survival mechanism that enabled us to stay alert to signs of danger around us. On the Internet, this survival mechanism leads to compulsive behavior. We find ourselves in a perpetual state of distraction.

In order to learn, we need to consolidate our short-term memories into longer-term ones. Consolidation cannot occur if we are distracted. We need to set time aside for consolidation and deep concentration, Nicholas Carr said.

If you look at the major intellectual accomplishments of our world, the greatest of them resulted from intense concentration. It is recommended that each of us create our own opportunities for concentration and mental consolidation.

The website for: The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains, by Nicholas Carr: http://www.theshallowsbook.com. Nicholas Carr blogs at: http://www.roughtype.com/ His personal website: http://www.nicholasgcarr.com/

Nicholas Carr's Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 12 May 2013: Rough Type @roughtype [^178.2] I am Nicholas Carr's blog's Twitter feed. I am moody and unreliable and automated. I resemble an egg. roughtype.com - 49 tweets. 0 following. 492 followers. Nicholas Carr's Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats on 6 November 2013: Rough Type @roughtype - I am Nicholas Carr's blog's Twitter feed. I am moody and unreliable and automated. I also work as a Google Glass model. roughtype.com - 97 tweets. 0 following. 753 followers. Nicholas Carr has informed the approach to Internet addiction throughout this book.

Twitter bio and stats on 12 May 2013 of EDW Lynch @edwlynchcm [^178.3] The public twitstream of internet luminary EDW Lynch. See also: @tweetincormac Location: San Francisco · http://www.edwlynch.com - 441 tweets. 69 following. 321 followers. EDW Lynch @edwlynchcm - Twitter bio and stats on 6 November 2013: The public twitstream of internet luminary EDW Lynch. See also: @tweetincormac San Francisco · edwlynch.com - 449 tweets. 70 following. 357 followers.

Twitter bio and stats on 12 May 2013 of Laughing Squid @LaughingSquid [^178.4] A blog featuring interesting art, culture and technology. Founder @ScottBeale can be found here: https://twitter.com/ScottBeale - Location: New York City & San Francisco · http://laughingsquid.com - 33,353 tweets. 2,110 following. 420,371 followers. Laughing Squid @LaughingSquid - Twitter bio and stats on 6 November 2013: A blog featuring interesting art, culture and technology. Founder @ScottBeale can be found here: https://twitter.com/ScottBeale - Location: New York City & San Francisco · laughingsquid.com - 38,031 tweets. 2,081 following. 462,864 followers.

The video animator's Twitter bio and stats on 12 May 2013: Greg Walter @2TallGreg [^178.5] Animator, Illustrator, Visual Storyteller at 2Tall Studio – Location: Columbus, OH area · 2TallStudio.com/animation - 125 tweets. 119 following. 42 followers.

Video producer and publisher's Twitter bio and stats on 12 May 2013: Epipheo @epipheo [^178.6] Spreading Truth, Stories, and Love throughout the world. Location: Portland/Cincinnati · http://epipheo.com - 2,224 tweets. 8 following. 5,410 followers.

• • • • •

Why is social media so addictive?

— Humans respond to novelty and to social contact.

— Social media provides powerful combinations of both.

— Neuro-chemicals are released into our brains every time we receive recognition in social media.

— These small chemical releases are addictive and encourage us to focus on short-term gratification at the expense of activities that only offer rewards in the long term.

How widespread is social-media addiction? Watch people on busses or trains: What is their most common behavior? Likely answer: Gazing intently at their mobile devices, engaging in social media.

To control an addiction means recognizing and taking personal ownership and responsibility over the problem. It means setting limits on when _and how_ to access social media. Some people observe Internet sabbaths. They set aside one day of the week to stay offline. This may be impractical for some of us, who could instead seek to build up self-control to stay offline until certain tasks or milestones have been achieved.

Jon Mitchell:

Make rules for yourself. No devices in the bedroom. No devices during meals. Set up your work around concentration, not interruption. The hardest thing about high-tech life is multitasking, thinking about multiple situations at once. Just try to do one thing at a time. That'll be a good start.

The above quote is from the conclusion of: "Four Days Of Digital Detox: The Ultimate Tech Decelerator," by Jon Mitchell, ReadWrite, 24 October 2012,  http://readwrite.com/2012/10/24/four-days-of-digital-detox-the-ultimate-tech-decellerator

Jon Mitchell ๛ @ablaze [^178.7] Twitter bio and stats on 24 December 2013: Cosmos journalist. Location: Oakland, California · jonmitchell.net. 36,741 tweets. 476 following. 5,139 followers.

ReadWrite @RWW [^178.8] Twitter bio and stats on 24 December 2013: The latest news, analysis and conversation in all things web, tech and social media from the http://ReadWrite.com team. World Wide Web · readwrite.com. 38,445 tweets. 2,652 following. 1,351,760 followers.

On a daily basis we could postpone going online to view microblogs and other activity streams until after performing our most cerebral work. This acknowledges that once we jump into the stream, our brains may switch into sorting mode, making focused concentration more difficult and less likely. If we start out in sorting mode, it can be hard to switch to more focused work. Trying to do both simultaneously means being constantly distracted.

The only way to read, or write, is to switch off twitter.

14 December 2013 SonaliRanade ‏@sonaliranade [^178.9] https://twitter.com/sonaliranade/status/411856927283359746 Bio: Trader. Location: Seattle · sonaliranade.com. 172,089 tweets. 595 following. 50,994 followers. Bio and stats on 8 October 2014: Trader. Location: Seattle. sonaliranade.com. 194,865 tweets. 988 following. 53,486 followers. Underlining added.

We can schedule our microblogging rather than allow it to schedule us. For example, leave it until after the first __ hours of the workday or until the final __ minutes of it.

Many of the microblog posts quoted above celebrate Internet addiction. How else could over-exposure be seen? The Internet is a huge sea that we will never be able to explore fully. The best we can do is to stick our toes into the water from time to time, occasionally going for a swim. But all swimmers need to be to able tell themselves when it's time to get out of the water.

See also: "Addiction! Staying afloat in the stream - Mónica Guzmán," a video of a five-minute presentation delivered by Mónica Guzmán @moniguzman at Ignite Seattle @ignitesea on 3 August 2009,  http://igniteseattle.com/2009/11/10/addiction-staying-afloat-in-the-stream-monica-guzman/

Mónica Guzmán @moniguzman [^186.80] Twitter bio and stats on 18 January 2015: Journalist & tech philosopher. Columnist @SeattleTimes @GeekWire. Pres @SPJWash. Emcee @IgniteSea. Board @Poynter. Vice-chair SPJ Ethics. moni@moniguzman.com – Location: Seattle - moniguzman.com - 25,707 tweets. 8,824 following. 23,579 followers.

Ignite Seattle @ignitesea [^186.81] Twitter bio and stats on 18 January 2015: Enlighten us, but make it quick. Location: Seattle, WA 98122 - igniteseattle.com - 1,583 tweets. 1,838 following. 5,902 followers.

The analogy above between the Internet and a huge sea is unoriginal. It is vaguely remembered as being from the time of Mónica Guzmán's presentation at Ignite Seattle. No source could be found in research conducted on 17 and 18 January 2015. The citation numbers above for Mónica Guzmán and Ignite Seattle were added late and appear out of sequence here.

If you want to live a life that feels awesome, my advice is:

avoid TV and the Internet.

Read books.

Think.

Feel.

Live.

umair haque ‏@umairh [^178.10] https://twitter.com/umairh/status/348632191976214528 Bio: author, economist, slayer of zombies. Location: london/east coast · blogs.harvardbusiness.org/Haque - 57,801 tweets. 1,101 following. 209,953 followers.

About to embark on a historic experiment:

going a week without any Internet access

— **haven't done that in about 15 years or so.**

Wish me luck

1 March 2015 Mathew Ingram @mathewi [^178.72 – added late and is out of sequence here] https://twitter.com/mathewi/status/572201655741124608 Twitter bio and stats 2 March 2015: I'm a senior writer at Gigaom. I have been the ninth caller and have won the weekend passes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love and an outlaw in Peru. Location: 43.776188,-79.149103 - mathewingram.com/work/about/ - 137,555 tweets. 3,606 following. 62,806 followers.

• • • • •

New research has found that simply having your phone nearby, without even checking it, can hurt your relationships.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=how-your-cell-phone-hurts-your-relationships

8 September 2012 midtowngirl ‏@_Midtowngirl [^178.11] https://twitter.com/_Midtowngirl/status/244618418978971648 Bio and stats on 16 March 2013: Investment Banking.100% Nerd. @Columbia alumni. Native NY'er (Born & Raised on the Upper West Side) with typical cynical outlook on life only true NYers have. Location: Midtown, Manhattan. 11,091 tweets. 179 following. 499 followers.

Points to:

"How Your Cell Phone Hurts Your Relationships - The mere presence of a phone affects how you relate to others," by Helen Lee Lin, Scientific American, 4 September 2012.  http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=how-your-cell-phone-hurts-your-relationships

Twitter bio and stats on 5 July 2013 for Helen Lee Lin, Ph.D. @helenleelin [^178.12] Sharing the best news on the social sciences, language, media, marketing, writing, & food! Follow me; you may be surprised by how often these topics collide! Location: Texas · helenleelin.webs.com. 1,146 tweets. 1,082 following. 1,064 followers.

Twitter bio and stats on 5 July 2013 for Scientific American @sciam [^178.13] Scientific American, more than 165 years of science news. Feed hosted by @robinlloyd99 and the machine. Location: New York City, NY, USA · scientificamerican.com. 28,033 tweets. 10,969 following. 587,425 followers.

Helen Lee Lin writing in Scientific American:

Past studies have suggested that because of the many social, instrumental, and entertainment options phones afford us, they often divert our attention from our current environment, whether we are speeding down a highway or sitting through a meeting. The new research suggests that cell phones may serve as a reminder of the wider network to which we could connect, inhibiting our ability to connect with the people right next to us. Cell phone usage may even reduce our social consciousness.

Perhaps it would be going too far to prepare for important conversations by throwing your cell phone into the closet, or leaving it in the car on first dates. But if you are spending the day with people you really care about, you might want to reconsider the next time you reach for your phone to reply to a text message or check sports scores. Just having that phone nearby is bad enough.

• • • • •

I reached enlightenment when I realized that I don't have to read every single tweet ever.

27 September 2011 recordstoregurl @dizzyidjit [^178.14] https://twitter.com/#!/dizzyidjit/status/118744628999626752 Her Twitter bio and stats on 8 September 2013: You're not the boss of me. http://favstar.fm/users/dizzyidjit. 4,107 tweets. 1,004 following. 2,506 followers.

They can't take education away from you, but I sure as shit wish someone would take Twitter away from me.

18 July 2012 Ryan Armentrout ‏@ryaninco [^178.15] https://twitter.com/ryaninco/status/225813586998620160 Bio: traveling the US like a gypsy, only I take a shower daily.. Location: I get around. 15,147 tweets. 5,184 following. 10,786 followers.

This is stupid.

9 December 2012 fase ‏@iamfase [^178.16] https://twitter.com/iamfase/status/277728164506132480 His bio: *an imaginary list of impressive reasons why you should read the bullshit I write* Moderator at @RapGenius Instagram: iamfase Location: Kuwait · favstar.fm/users/iamfase/ - 9,601 tweets. 1,233 following. 2,892 followers.

Fuck this place.

30 October 2012 Nikki Havoc ‏@nburrr [^178.17] https://twitter.com/nburrr/status/263230039166963712 Chubby chasers welcome. Fapping over beards and tattoos with @rachaelkelly18 and drinking with @RandomlyMJ. @inky37 keeps me sane. Location: Australia · http://favstar.fm/users/nburrr - 41,524 tweets. 1,259 following. 7,698 followers. Her bio and stats on 21 November 2012: I'm my own twitter clique, motherfucker. @rachaelkelly18, @RandomlyMJ & @gidget_76 are my soul sisters. Location: Australia · http://favstar.fm/users/nburrr - 46,536 tweets. 1,341 following. 8,897 followers. Underling added. No Twitter account with this ID found on 25 April 2013.

I wish Twitter onto you. Forever.

6 December 2012 J ‏@Lipgloss_Nerd [^178.18] https://twitter.com/Lipgloss_Nerd/status/276597449387278336 Her screen name, bio and stats on 4 March 2013: That Horrible Girl - @UluwatuSiap and I are no longer here. Perhaps we never really were. Unfollow guilt free. Location: Island of Delusions. 1,528 tweets. 628 following. 6,430 followers. Bio and stats on 4 March 2013 of That Rude Cunt @UluwatuSiap - @Lipgloss_Nerd and I are no longer here. Perhaps we never really were. Unfollow guilt free. Location: Island of Delusions. 2,350 tweets. 737 following. 9,441 followers. The last tweets from both accounts were dated 9 December 2012.

Again. I can't wait to sever ties with all you.

8 August 2012 Tracey ‏@DeepSigh_ [^178.19] https://twitter.com/DeepSigh_/status/233301316649250817 Her bio and follower count on 22 March 2012: just tweeting my random thoughts and observations. i eat the green m&m' s first. 389 followers.

She had been tweeting once every two minutes that evening and the previous night. Countless nights actually. No account with this ID was found on 10 May 2013.

Why don't you tweet more?

-none of my followers

30 October 2013 JA ‏@thatguyJA [^178.20] https://twitter.com/thatguyJA/status/395731488635117568 His bio: 1 wife, 4 kids, 0 time Guaranteed to leave you wanting no more. Location: Philly and burbs · favstar.fm/users/thatguyJA - 26,709 tweets. 2,339 following. 3,551 followers.

You were approaching 3 million tweets.

Sorry for the unfollow.

Just trying to survive here

23 July 2012 Fool ‏@1PrettyPeony [^178.21] https://twitter.com/1PrettyPeony/status/359752627803787265 Her Twitter bio and stats on 1 August 2013: Fuck that. 574 tweets. 76 following. 92 followers.

Twitter is for people who spend too much time in their own heads. I'm guilty.

21 February 2012 Classy Cassy ‏@Classy_Cassy89 [^178.22] https://twitter.com/classy_cassy89/status/172208366410678272 Her bio and stats on 28 October 2012: Life and times of a 40 year old single woman with a cat...got a dog too. 38,329 tweets. 8,185 following. 11,620 followers.

I don't want to be one of those people who's on his death bed and says, "I didn't spend enough time on the Internet."

29 May 2012 Andy Borowitz ‏@BorowitzReport [^178.23] https://twitter.com/borowitzreport/status/207644049488883712 Tweet not found on 10 May 2013. Bio and stats on 10 May 2013:

There is a fine line between social networking and wasting your fucking life.

Location: New York · http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/ 139 tweets. 34 following. 458,209 followers.

Tweet like you're changing the world.

Pretend like it's not ruining your life.

3 March 2013 Frankie Peacunt ‏@FRANKSTALICIOUS [^178.24] https://twitter.com/FRANKSTALICIOUS/status/308316000355495938 Bio and stats on 3 March 2013: I tweeted that before. http://favstar.fm/users/FRANKSTALICIOUS... http://favstar.fm/users/FRANKSTALICIOUS/tweets_of_the_day... http://audioboo.fm/FRANKSTALICIOUS - Location: South Florida, AMERICA · frankstalicious.tumblr.com - 30,733 tweets. 2,483 following. 6,974 followers.

I was taking a survey and it asked how many hours a week do you spend on the internet.

What a horrible feeling that question gave me.

Friday night, 1 November 2013, Fake Me ‏@FakeMe__ [^178.25] https://twitter.com/FakeMe__/status/396487234712780800 Bio: Something fascinating. 12,118 tweets. 542 following. 2,538 followers.

Someone asked me if I have any hobbies and I said "Messing around on the internet."

I officially hate myself.

26 February 2013 da Blurb ‏@byronblurb [^178.26] https://twitter.com/byronblurb/status/306594424538935297 His bio and stats on 27 February 2013: skilled at the art of changing the subject; unlimited fountain of useless nonsense; usually able to finish 2 cheeseburgers with no problem. favstar link in repair. 11,455 tweets. 5,788 following. 6,630 followers.

I need a hobby that involves more than just sitting home alone on a Saturday night wondering what the fuck I've done with my life.

5 May 2012 Miss Fuckalicious ‏@PyrBliss [^178.27] https://twitter.com/pyrbliss/status/199000720073166848 Her bio and stats on 7 November 2012: Swearing on Twitter is my anti-drug. Come for the cuteness, stay for the rage. I say FUCK! a lot. Location: In your pocket · http://favstar.fm/users/PyrBliss - 2,916 tweets. 838 following. 26,747 followers.

Holy fuck. This game lasts longer than Monopoly....

21 August 2012 J ‏@The_Sculptress [^178.28] https://twitter.com/The_Sculptress/status/238081723680829441 Her bio and stats on 14 October 2012: I'm never anybody but me, that way I always know who I am. Boys suck. @gorrdano is my boo. Location: Picking a number between 1&5 · http://favstar.fm/users/The_Sculptress/recent - 36,793 tweets. 826 following. 10,967 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 14 December 2013: Dressed like a doll. Primped like a doll. Posed like a doll. Pretty like a doll. Lifeless like a doll. http://favstar.fm/users/the_sculptress - 53,044 tweets. 821 following. 24,329 followers.

This place is like a fucked up Hotel California.

19 November 2012 PeauxJSimpson ‏@NotJPo [^178.29] https://twitter.com/NotJPo/status/270617335407206400 No bio on 2 January 2013, just this screen name and these stats: Peauxtassium, k? 13,179 tweets. 2,091 following. 20,472 followers. Her Twitter bio and stats on 15 December 2013: I have PMS. 16,932 tweets. 2,187 following. 26,140 followers.

"Hotel California" is the title of a song by the Eagles. The song was first released by the Eagles on an album with the same name as the song. The album was released on 8 December 1976 on the Asylum label. Authorship of the song is credited to Don Felder, Glenn Frey and Don Henley. The lyrics contain this line: "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave!"

Twitter began as a fun European vacation. Now I'm just tired, broke, staying in a crowded hostel with strangers and I just wanna go home.

7 February 2013 Kevin Biggins ‏@TheBiggIdea [^178.30] https://twitter.com/TheBiggIdea/status/299623845248253952 His bio and stats on 14 March 2013: Writer for Family Guy, Proponent Of Vanity. Location: Los Angeles. 3,896 tweets. 560 following. 40,050 followers.

I'm kind of tired of this unless you still like it.

7 November 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^178.31] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/266116376782069760 His bio: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 14,221 tweets. 3,175 following. 9,720 followers.

This isn't my life and it's become less of my scene.

6 November 2012 Ecornuto ‏@ecorno2 [^178.32] https://twitter.com/ecorno2/status/265778494624112640 Bio and stats on 8 November 2012: Se non è vero, è ben trovato. Sogni d'oro. Godetevi lo spettacolo. 5,400 tweets. 1,049 following. 5,318 followers.

SETI, but for twitter.

15 December 2013 Sin ‏@insinuateme [^178.33] https://twitter.com/insinuateme/status/412476458817183744 Bio: I'm a bad boy wannabe. But in reality just a boy gone bad. Pussywhipped by @sinskitten IRL. favstar.fm/users/insinuateme - 12,024 tweets. 1,061 following. 2,365 followers.

SETI refers to Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence activities being undertaken by numerous organizations and individuals.

I believe in life after twitter.

25 September 2012 Moiste Porque ‏@MoistPork [^178.34] https://twitter.com/MoistPork/status/250575513876312064

Her bio: Take everything I say seriously. Please. Location: The Meat Locker. 5,374 tweets. 771 following. 12,741 followers.

What's that, Lassie? There's a whole population trapped in a social network?

20 December 2012 ShoutingGoddess ‏@ShoutingGoddess [^178.35] https://twitter.com/ShoutingGoddess/status/281916389135114240 Bio: Don't read this shit. Go read a book. 107,764 tweets. 2,563 following. 18,343 followers.

*mouths something to passerby*

"please save me"

24 April 2013 Rose Kotze ‏@rosekotze [^178.36] https://twitter.com/rosekotze/status/326993943566880768 Her bio and stats on 26 April 2013: Wearing leggings as pants since 2005. Location: Johannesburg. 1,519 tweets. 344 following. 591 followers.

Twitter is the new 'wandering in the desert for 40 years'.

20 September 2012 Adrian Woodworth ‏@navanax [^178.37] https://twitter.com/navanax/status/248873224870436864 Bio and stats on 20 December 2012: I am not bitter, I am resentful. There is a difference. One may be resentful and still taste great. Location: The Big Smoke · http://favstar.fm/users/navanax/recent - 1,997 tweets. 3,527 following. 6,933 followers.

Listen guys, only 65 more semesters and this twitter for credit thing will pay off.

1 March 2013 Lisa. It really is. ‏@LisaFarted [^178.38] https://twitter.com/LisaFarted/status/307725295669100544 Her bio and stats on 4 March 2013: No funny stuff. Location: Hwy with the windows down. 23,032 tweets. 440 following. 5,808 followers.

How much longer is this Al-Qaeda recruitment tape?

24 February 2013 Alex Baze ‏@bazecraze [^178.39] https://twitter.com/bazecraze/status/305843435947061249 His bio and stats on 27 February 2013: Cynical shell. Soft, chewy center. Location: NYC. 6,635 tweets. 591 following. 71,393 followers.

I'm so tired of this place.

Why I keep having to come back here I may never know.

28 February 2013 Bean ‏@IMBeanz [^178.40] https://twitter.com/IMBeanz/status/307068714770112513 Her bio: Sitting in the corner of my mind throwing knives at an image of a clown. These are my thoughts I chose to share. Consider yourself warned. http://favstar.fm/users/IMBeanz - 19,242 tweets. 753 following. 3,713 followers.

titterw si a igb uckingf astew fo imet.

Decode that message and win life!

19 May 2013 Denise ‏@StellaRtwot [^178.41] https://twitter.com/StellaRtwot/status/336247902458499072 Her Twitter bio and stats on 26 July 2013: As soon as my husband starts his car I jump back in bed. I once drank a 12 pack of Stellartois at a baby shower. 15,533 tweets. 1,081 following. 24,724 followers.

If twitter is your life, then you don't have one

31 May 2013 ρяιη¢єѕѕ мαѕσ¢нιѕт ‏@alwayzintruble [^178.42] https://twitter.com/alwayzintruble/status/340613252432146433 Her bio: Daddy Issues. Bi. Masochist. Sub. Brat. Virgo. Shoe Whore. Bipolar. Bitch. Canadian. Single Mom. Tattooed. Pierced. Gypsy. Location: the Hammer, Onterriblah. 27,938 tweets. 2,872 following. 8,151 followers.

There must be some kind of way out of here...

4 November 2012 Monica ‏@madmonimoni [^178.43] https://twitter.com/madmonimoni/status/265163844672962561 Her bio: Her bio: I'll kill you and your dreams tonight... bleed your death upon me. Location: New England. 11,366 tweets. 2,117 following. 2,389 followers.

Quotes lyrics from the song "All Along the Watchtower," written and recorded by Bob Dylan (birth name Robert Allen Zimmerman) and first released on his album John Wesley Harding on 27 December 1967 on the Columbia Records label. The song was subsequently a hit for Jimi Hendrix and his band the Jimi Hendrix Experience, which released it first on 21 September 1968 in the US as a single and then on the Electric Ladyland album on 25 October 1968 on the labels Reprise, Track, Barclay and Polydor.

@madmonimoni \- **said the Joker to the Thief....**

4 November 2012 Alex Collett ‏@KandAFilms2 [^178.44] https://twitter.com/KandAFilms2/status/265164032087052289 Bio: Run a production co. with my talented wife. Writer, director, photographer, musician and eternal trier, sometime doer. Location: Scotland · https://vimeo.com/user12146044 - 7,174 tweets. 303 following. 230 followers. Quotes Bob Dylan, as cited above.

@KandAFilms2 **there's too much confusion, I can't get no relief...**

4 November 2012 Monica ‏@madmonimoni [^178.45] https://twitter.com/madmonimoni/status/265164632124178432 Her bio: Her bio: I'll kill you and your dreams tonight... bleed your death upon me. Location: New England. 11,366 tweets. 2,117 following. 2,389 followers. Quotes Bob Dylan, as cited above.

I cant wait to be the first person to open a rehab for Twitter addicts!

It's gonna have 140 steps bitches!

17 January 2012 SashaJBrenner ‏@SashaBrenner [^178.46] https://twitter.com/SashaBrenner/status/159499430955982849 Bio and stats on 1 November 2012: Personal account. Screamwriter. Lover. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1348207061 http://audioboo.fm/sashabrenner Location: London Mayfair · http://favstar.fm/users/SashaBrenner 7,258 tweets. 4,253 following. 5,105 followers.

10 Year Goal: Get off of the Internet for an hour.

22 August 2012 bllix ‏@bllix [^178.47] https://twitter.com/bllix/status/238402353190019072 Her bio and stats on 30 October 2012: Electronic music producer/knob-twiddler, MYLF, Multilingual programmer, Attorney at LOL, Thug 4 Life, Laundromancer, METAL AS FVCK. Damn, Gina. Location: Portland, OR. · http://bllix.tumblr.com - 12,746 tweets. 501 following. 4,516 followers.

If "Tweet not sent, tweet saved to drafts" isn't a sign, I don't know what is.

10 February 2013 Fuzzy Pimple ‏@FuzzyPimple [^178.48] https://twitter.com/FuzzyPimple/status/300527312997326848 His bio and stats on 10 March 2013: I used to have a pimple, now I don't. Location: Under The Westgate. Melbourne. 30,105 tweets. 768 following. 9,584 followers.

I need to take a break from Twitter.

I'm not going to.

I'm just saying that I need to.

2 October 2012 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^178.49] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/253243086124232704 His bio and stats on 6 October 2012: I tweet so you don't have to. http://soundcloud.com/nerdamage - 13,477 tweets. 3,154 following. 9,233 followers.

Twitter is so distracting, I turn it off every few minutes.

23 July 2013 Amar X ‏@deepd1ve [^178.50] https://twitter.com/deepd1ve/status/359600898273587201 Twitter bio: Unsung dog from the deep trenches. Location: in your hood. favstar.fm/users/deepd1ve - 7,936 tweets. 691 following. 661 followers. No Twitter account with this ID found on 8 October 2014.

Be back online in a bit, guys. Mom needs to use the phone.

6 January 2013 Glenyrd Skynyrd ‏@glenyrd [^178.51] https://twitter.com/glenyrd/status/288176558152249344 Bio and stats on 11 February 2013: Everything you like is stupid and that's why I made a Twitter. Location: Los Angeles, CA. 6,584 tweets. 589 following. 2,882 followers.

Back on after the break.

2 October 2012 Arif Rafiq ‏@ArifCRafiq [^178.52] https://twitter.com/ArifCRafiq/status/253318556551368704 His bio: American of Pakistani descent. Adjunct scholar, Middle East Institute. Consultant on Middle East/South Asian political & sec. issues. Tweets are my views alone. Location: Washington, DC area. 24,328 tweets. 2,958 following. 12,350 followers. He was on the @batchelorshow at the time, talking about the United States lowering its expectations for talks with the Taliban.

No offence, but the less you tweet the more I like you.

26 May 2012 Clearly Unwell ‏@ClearlyUnwell [^178.53] https://twitter.com/clearlyunwell/status/206633268525801472 His bio and stats on 16 March 2013: Women don't like being told what to do unless they're naked. Instagram: clearlyunwelll · http://favstar.fm/users/clearlyunwell/recent - 7,867 tweets. 754 following. 9,165 followers.

I'll stay on Twitter as long as I have thoughts to share.

(shouldn't be much longer)

29 June 2013 ☣Undead☠Cyborg☢ ‏@zombot [^178.54] https://twitter.com/zombot/status/352616943435517954 Bio and stats on 3 July 2013: FIGHT THE ZOMBIES FLEE THE ROBOTS http://brainslush.tumblr.com Instagram, Formspring, Vine: zombot Words With Friends: DM me Draw Something: nerfhoarder. Location: Stumptown USA · favstar.fm/users/zombot/ - 55,198 tweets. 825 following. 2,964 followers.

Can't be bothered to tweet again today.

So please use this one for all possible scenarios:

"What a shambles."

10 September 2013 Rob Crilly ‏@robcrilly [^178.55] https://twitter.com/robcrilly/status/377355361532907520 His Twitter bio: Pakistan and Afghanistan correspondent of The Telegraph, Africa-phile, author of Saving Darfur. Location: Islamabad · robcrilly.com. 24,190 tweets. 1,102 following. 17,022 followers.

Tweeted on a big news day, when the new PML-N government in Islamabad announced its intention to negotiate with Taliban groups as legitimate stakeholders, while blaming only the United States and NATO for the violence that had plagued the country for the previous decade. The Taliban responded to the announcement with a fresh wave of carnage.

Twitter etiquette: If you have nothing to say, leave it unsaid. *Runs*

16 December 2012 SonaliRanade ‏@sonaliranade [^178.56] https://twitter.com/sonaliranade/status/280324335779065856 Her bio and stats on 21 April 2013: Trader. Location: Mumbai girl, cud B elsewhere. · sonaliranade.com - 158,528 tweets. 581 following. 35,311 followers. Bio and stats on 8 October 2014: Trader. Location: Seattle. sonaliranade.com. 194,865 tweets. 988 following. 53,486 followers. Underlining added.

Ask yourself if your tweet is necessary before posting it. I might start doing that.

9 March 2013 nerdamage ‏@nerdamage [^178.57] https://twitter.com/nerdamage/status/310538616898195458 Twitter bio and stats on 26 May 2013: I tweet so you don't have to. soundcloud.com/nerdamage-1/warning - 18,113 tweets. 3,469 following. 12,676 followers.

I did this thing today where I didn't feel like tweeting anything so I didn't tweet anything.

(It's like "Twitterciding" only not retarded.)

23 June 2012 Mayor Baconator ‏@tigersgoroooar [^178.58] https://twitter.com/tigersgoroooar/status/216708759156822016 Her screen name, bio and stats on 31 January 2013: Pony Starwars. Hey! Must be the money. team vagussy. Location: FUCKTOWN · twitter.com - 3,436 tweets. 545 following. 18,182 followers.

An idea: instead of sending someone an email or direct message, save what you were going to say for when you finally meet them.

9 March 2013 Kiwichettan ‏@BarnabyHM [^178.59] https://twitter.com/BarnabyHM/status/310350248251904000 His bio: India/cricket writer & boss of timezones - NZ by morning, Australia in the afternoon & India at night. Views own, RTs ≠ endorsements, gravy edukkan marakanda. Location: Wellington, NZ · http://about.me/barnabyhm - 23,487 tweets. 846 following. 1,614 followers.

@BarnabyHM **But then, the moment is lost, isn't it?**

9 March 2013 Subhashini ‏@NeelaVanam [^178.60] https://twitter.com/NeelaVanam/status/310351085711790080 Her bio: What else do you know apart from curry leaves and ginger? they ask. I offer them~From the Anklets of a Homemaker~http://bit.ly/WgWWgO / http://amzn.to/Yn7sT4 - Location: Bangalore · neelavanam.tumblr.com - 14,637 tweets. 402 following. 3,860 followers.

We used to live in a world where we had to actively connect. Now we look to actively disconnect

#gdnmbs

19 November 2012 Steve Workman ‏@steveworkman [^178.61] https://twitter.com/steveworkman/status/270495241486876672 Bio: London Web Standards Organiser, Web Dev, UX architect, iOS and CSS brainiac with a passion for good design and innovation. Location: London · http://www.steveworkman.com - 8,068 tweets. 393 following. 683 followers. The hashtag is for the Guardian Mobile Business Summit, which Steve Workman participated in that day in London.

Turning off email notification on my phone has been a Good Thing.

May disable further digital distractions.

11 March 2013 Martin Geddes ‏@martingeddes [^178.62] https://twitter.com/martingeddes/status/311339450171019265 His bio and stats on 16 April 2013: Telecoms strategy consultant with special interests in network performance engineering, polyservice networks, and hypervoice technology. Location: London · http://www.martingeddes.com/ - 9,982 tweets. 1,484 following. 2,197 followers. Martin Geddes tweets about the future of voice and communication.

Reply:

@martingeddes Next step: turn off the ringer and SMS alerts as well :)

11 March 2013 Sami Mäkeläinen ‏@smakelainen [^178.63] https://twitter.com/smakelainen/status/311340436163792896 Bio: Mobile & innovation specialist by profession, generalist at heart. I think it'd be nice to leave a planet worth living in for those who come after us. Location: Melbourne, Australia · http://www.groundswell.fi/sim/ - 3,382 tweets. 374 following. 299 followers.

Piling on:

@martingeddes Try turning your phone off before you go out in public. So refreshing.

11 March 2013 https://twitter.com/aem76us/status/311347716250796033

Constructing a Fortress of Internet Deprivation so that I can get some work done

27 April 2012 Neal Stephenson ‏@nealstephenson [^178.64] https://twitter.com/nealstephenson/status/195978374609506304 Twitter bio and stats on 30 March 2013: Author of Snow Crash, Diamond Age, Cryptonomicon, Baroque Cycle, et al. Location: Seattle, WA · http://nealstephenson.com/ - 69 tweets. 100 following. 18,196 followers.

In a technological age, the only way to recharge yourself is to unplug yourself.

16 November 2012 tackie_jackie ‏@tackie_jackie [^178.65] https://twitter.com/tackie_jackie/status/269501976323182592 Her bio: Took a weird-ass turn and ended up here. 8,854 tweets. 776 following. 9,369 followers.

I've been off Twitter for 7 hours and I wasn't asleep or on a plane.

Yes. It's possible.

1:50 a.m. EDT Sunday 14 April 2013 Mona Eltahawy ‏@monaeltahawy [^178.66] https://twitter.com/monaeltahawy/status/323297191965904899 Her bio: Columnist and public speaker on Arab and Muslim issues http://www.monaeltahawy.com Location: The World · http://www.monaeltahawy.com/blog - 175,055 tweets. 839 following. 174,263 followers. Underlining added.

I didn't tweet yesterday.

Did any of you miss me???

Miss me, damn it!

18 July 2013 Tracy ‏@Pitinka [^178.67] https://twitter.com/Pitinka/status/358011293665472512 Bio: Why are you reading this?? This isn't Facebook!! favstar.fm/users/Pitinka - 7,124 tweets. 957 following. 1,261 followers. This tweet received two stars within the first half an hour. Upon checking, her most recent tweet (before this one) was dated 16 July 2013. So yes, she did take a day off.

I took a day off from tweeting. You should two!

22 August 2012 Not the Lord ‏@byronblurb [^178.68] https://twitter.com/byronblurb/status/238301902406836224 His bio and stats on 2 November 2012: skilled at the art of changing the subject; unlimited fountain of useless nonsense; usually able to finish 2 cheeseburgers with no problem. Location: Close enough to come visit. · http://www.favstar.fm/users/byronblurb/recent - 10,007 tweets. 5,593 following. 6,024 followers.

**Everyone must have a monthly twitter detox** ;-)

29 September 2012 SonaliRanade ‏@sonaliranade [^178.69] https://twitter.com/sonaliranade/status/252017107586392065 Bio: Trader. Location: Mumbai girl, cud B elsewhere. 141,908 tweets. 335 following. 31,641 followers. Her bio and stats on 17 November 2012: Trader. Location: Mumbai girl, cud B elsewhere. · http://sonaliranade.wordpress.com/ - 143,929 tweets. 435 following. 32,132 followers. Bio and stats on 8 October 2014: Trader. Location: Seattle. sonaliranade.com. 194,865 tweets. 988 following. 53,486 followers. Underlining added.

Twitter, I love you, but you're bringing me down.

2 October 2012 Dan Trombly ‏@stcolumbia [^178.70] https://twitter.com/stcolumbia/status/253321155694432256 His bio: Recent IR grad, inveterate blogger. Strategy, history, and burgers. Location: District of Columbia · http://slouchingcolumbia.wordpress.com - 25,651 tweets. 672 following. 1,958 followers. IR = international relations. Dan Trombly's international-relations blog is notable for its original ideas, thoughtfully presented.

I fucking hate this place.

7 February 2013 Miss Fuckalicious ‏@PyrBliss [^178.71] https://twitter.com/PyrBliss/status/299696544804909057 Her bio and stats on 13 February 2013: Swearing on Twitter is my anti-drug. Come for the cuteness, stay for the rage. I say FUCK! a lot. Location: In your pocket · http://favstar.fm/users/PyrBliss - 3,628 tweets. 881 following. 31,287 followers.

^178.72 was added late and is for a tweet by Mathew Ingram @mathewi, right after ^178.10.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  179. Mina's musings

Thirteen musings from Mina:

I started here with one purpose, then it became something else and now it's changed again.

I need more in my real life.

11 November 2012 Mina McStabbySnatch ‏@minasmusings [^179.1] https://twitter.com/minasmusings/status/267543377631903745 Her bio: I like drunk. Probably don't like you. Polyamorus. Pornographer. Sacredly profane. http://favstar.fm/users/minasmusings... Location: Wearing stabby pants. 80,387 tweets. 1,084 following. 7,390 followers.

Don't derail me with your needs.

That's part of what I'm fucking on about.

I have nothing for you.

What you're after, I don't offer.

11 November 2012 Mina McStabbySnatch ‏@minasmusings [^179.2] https://twitter.com/minasmusings/status/267543709955002368 Her bio: I like drunk. Probably don't like you. Polyamorus. Pornographer. Sacredly profane. http://favstar.fm/users/minasmusings... Location: Wearing stabby pants. 80,387 tweets. 1,084 following. 7,390 followers.

The friends I've made here are real to me. The rest of you are lovely, amusing, needy, funny, fucked up strangers screaming at each other.

11 November 2012 Mina McStabbySnatch ‏@minasmusings [^179.3] https://twitter.com/minasmusings/status/267544473297367040 Her bio: I like drunk. Probably don't like you. Polyamorus. Pornographer. Sacredly profane. http://favstar.fm/users/minasmusings... Location: Wearing stabby pants. 80,387 tweets. 1,084 following. 7,390 followers.

For whatever purpose.

The screams are your business. Not mine.

I have nothing for you.

Back away.

It's too much of a fucking drain.

Shut up.

11 November 2012 Mina McStabbySnatch ‏@minasmusings [^179.4] https://twitter.com/minasmusings/status/267544804815151104 Her bio: I like drunk. Probably don't like you. Polyamorus. Pornographer. Sacredly profane. http://favstar.fm/users/minasmusings... Location: Wearing stabby pants. 80,387 tweets. 1,084 following. 7,390 followers.

Those I've let in my heart will know how to keep in touch.

You'll hear from me.

The rest of you, enjoy yourselves. It's a fun place.

11 November 2012 Mina McStabbySnatch ‏@minasmusings [^179.5] https://twitter.com/minasmusings/status/267545190540128256 Her bio: I like drunk. Probably don't like you. Polyamorus. Pornographer. Sacredly profane. http://favstar.fm/users/minasmusings... Location: Wearing stabby pants. 80,387 tweets. 1,084 following. 7,390 followers.

I don't want to hear it.

It never ends.

It's claustrophobic.

I'm fucking reeling.

I've been choking on fantasy for a living for 11 years.

11 November 2012 Mina McStabbySnatch ‏@minasmusings [^179.6] https://twitter.com/minasmusings/status/267545907170512896 Her bio: I like drunk. Probably don't like you. Polyamorus. Pornographer. Sacredly profane. http://favstar.fm/users/minasmusings... Location: Wearing stabby pants. 80,387 tweets. 1,084 following. 7,390 followers.

That crap is covered. It's still fun.

But to have it inundate the rest of my life is too much.

More depth. Less transience.

11 November 2012 Mina McStabbySnatch ‏@minasmusings [^179.7] https://twitter.com/minasmusings/status/267546917133770752 Her bio: I like drunk. Probably don't like you. Polyamorus. Pornographer. Sacredly profane. http://favstar.fm/users/minasmusings... Location: Wearing stabby pants. 80,387 tweets. 1,084 following. 7,390 followers.

Those who made it inside, you'll know how to reach me.

Those who make this place fun, keep doing that.

11 November 2012 Mina McStabbySnatch ‏@minasmusings [^179.8] https://twitter.com/minasmusings/status/267547390003781632 Her bio: I like drunk. Probably don't like you. Polyamorus. Pornographer. Sacredly profane. http://favstar.fm/users/minasmusings... Location: Wearing stabby pants. 80,387 tweets. 1,084 following. 7,390 followers.

I want more in my real life. Outside. Arms. Taste. People at my door. Food. Books. Sunshine. Fucking. Drives. Smells. Hands. My plants. All.

11 November 2012 Mina McStabbySnatch ‏@minasmusings [^179.9] https://twitter.com/minasmusings/status/267548847201460225 Her bio: I like drunk. Probably don't like you. Polyamorus. Pornographer. Sacredly profane. http://favstar.fm/users/minasmusings... Location: Wearing stabby pants. 80,387 tweets. 1,084 following. 7,390 followers.

Be good to each other. Go outside. Hook up. Follow my friends. They're all awesome people. I'll be in touch from time to time.

11 November 2012 Mina McStabbySnatch ‏@minasmusings [^179.10] https://twitter.com/minasmusings/status/267549445082730496 Her bio: I like drunk. Probably don't like you. Polyamorus. Pornographer. Sacredly profane. http://favstar.fm/users/minasmusings... Location: Wearing stabby pants. 80,387 tweets. 1,084 following. 7,390 followers.

Quick! To the escape hatch!

10 November 2012 BlarePapaBare ‏@Blarebare [^179.11] https://twitter.com/Blarebare/status/267478362346381313 Bio: I try to put on some airs and act real cool, but I've got to realize that I'm acting like a fool. Word up. http://audioboo.fm/Blarebare or kik:blarebare NSFW? Location: Beneath the CN Tower · http://favstar.fm/users/Blarebare - 24,020 tweets. 3,086 following. 4,726 followers.

This was retweeted by ‏@minasmusings on 11 November 2012 within the sequence of her tweets as they appear here.

I feel too much for this level of exposure to the world. Who the fuck woulda thought that?

11 November 2012 Mina McStabbySnatch ‏@minasmusings [^179.12] https://twitter.com/minasmusings/status/267558765535043584 Her bio: I like drunk. Probably don't like you. Polyamorus. Pornographer. Sacredly profane. http://favstar.fm/users/minasmusings... Location: Wearing stabby pants. 80,387 tweets. 1,084 following. 7,390 followers.

I rebuild my wall. I'll peek out the odd window though. Much love. Too much. Xox.

11 November 2012 Mina McStabbySnatch ‏@minasmusings [^179.13] https://twitter.com/minasmusings/status/267563453206654977 Her bio: I like drunk. Probably don't like you. Polyamorus. Pornographer. Sacredly profane. http://favstar.fm/users/minasmusings... Location: Wearing stabby pants. 80,387 tweets. 1,084 following. 7,390 followers.

• • • • •

Andreas Constantinou:

The abundance of digital in next 10 yrs will spawn two new forms of extremism: those fully immersed in digital life and those who despise it

24 October 2013 Andreas Constantinou ‏@andreascon [^179.14] https://twitter.com/andreascon/status/393370108061818880 His Twitter bio and stats on 25 October 2013: Founder/CEO at @visionmobile. Dad at @home. Adjunct Professor at @lunduniversity. 14 years in mobile. Always learning. visionmobile.com. 4,202 tweets. 774 following. 4,519 followers.

The abundance and frivolity of digital experiences will naturally lead to a scarcity and intensity of physical experiences.

24 October 2013 Andreas Constantinou ‏@andreascon [^179.15] https://twitter.com/andreascon/status/392755117931634688 His Twitter bio and stats on 25 October 2013: Founder/CEO at @visionmobile. Dad at @home. Adjunct Professor at @lunduniversity. 14 years in mobile. Always learning. visionmobile.com. 4,202 tweets. 774 following. 4,519 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  180. The end of Twitter

Why are we all still here.

Didn't we all get book deals

5 September 2013 Nick Douglas ‏@toomuchnick [^180.1] https://twitter.com/toomuchnick/status/375841545578360832 His Twitter bio and stats on 10 September 2013: Editor of http://slacktory.com . Don't look at my Favstar, it's full of old shame. Location: New York, NY · toomuchnick.com. 14,177 tweets. 2,644 following. 12,648 followers. Underlining added.

I came to twitter to escape, and now I am it's prisoner.

8 January 2013 Fuzzy Pimple ‏@FuzzyPimple [^180.2] https://twitter.com/FuzzyPimple/status/288870700008226816 His bio and stats on 10 March 2013: I used to have a pimple, now I don't. Location: Under The Westgate. Melbourne. 30,105 tweets. 768 following. 9,584 followers.

Who wants to leave twitter with me?...I have a map.

28 May 2013 Chopper ‏@chopper4jk [^180.3] https://twitter.com/chopper4jk/status/339623485997469696 His Twitter bio and stats on 29 May 2013: Yeah, I really just said that...Get over it - IG chopper4jk http://favstar.fm/users/chopper4jk \- Location: Hood River OR. 21,774 tweets. 28,058 following. 30,045 followers.

Jailbreak.

Everyone out, single file.

22 April 2013 will.i.ever ‏@redherringbear [^180.4] https://twitter.com/redherringbear/status/326563315755143168 Bio: Pitcher of the wry. Location: babbling streams · http://favstar.fm/users/redherringbear/ - 12,050 tweets. 2,498 following. 3,162 followers.

I'd gladly return all the stars, retweets and trophies to get the innocence back I had before I joined twitter.

7 January 2013 selfproclaimedmuse ‏@CanadianCheri [^180.5] https://twitter.com/CanadianCheri/status/288536875067654144 Her bio and stats on 9 January 2013: Feeling adventurous? Me too. Artist. Adventure Woman. Photographer. I have a huge crush on you. Probably. Hostess with the mostest for @tweetONeh. Location: YXU London ON Canada · http://selfproclaimedmuse.com/ - 32,618 tweets. 6,487 following. 6,541 followers.

Irony, running to Twitter to escape real life then being unable to escape Twitter.

19 December 2013 The Robfather™ ‏@thatUPSdude [^180.6] https://twitter.com/thatUPSdude/status/413859770081103872 Bio: "Someday, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But, until that day, accept this justice as a gift" \- I support #BraydenStrong · favstar.fm/users/thatupsdude - 27,061 tweets. 2,510 following. 20,402 followers.

Twitter is like a relationship. What originally attracted you will eventually be your demise.

22 July 2012 Shane ‏@shanethevein [^180.7] https://twitter.com/shanethevein/status/227279984446803968 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: Twitter should be an escape, not a destination. http://favstar.fm/users/shanethevein Location: America's Finest City! · http://shanethevein.tumblr.com/ - 21,001 tweets. 5,385 following. 16,054 followers.

Some people take their twitter follows more seriously than they take their marriage.

6 August 2012 Kenny Vee ‏@KennyVee [^180.8] https://twitter.com/KennyVee/status/232678382138175488 His bio and stats on 18 March 2013: I wrote a prequel to The Neverending Story, called The Abruptly Ending Story. Once upon a time, there was a story. Then it ended. The end. http://kennyvee.tumblr.com - 18,926 tweets. 215 following. 1,443 followers.

I wonder how many people are live tweeting their divorce and they don't even know it.

13 November 2012 TheDayOfTheBadNews ‏@imence2 [^180.9] https://twitter.com/imence2/status/268320232643362816 His bio: @Jermhimselfish is my RL brother from another mother, @RandomlyMJ is my cyber sister & the rest of u are fam! http://favstar.fm/users/imence2/tweets_of_the_day...Trying to get my girl back. · http://favstar.fm/users/imence2/recent - 23,564 tweets. 1,103 following. 6,556 followers.

Oh, Twitter. It's not you, it's me.

11 July 2012 Rameeza Nizami ‏@RameezaNizami [^180.10] https://twitter.com/RameezaNizami/status/223125554549882880 Her bio and stats on 12 November 2012: Unauthorized, unofficial, etc etc. This isn't even me, really. Location: In an office, most of the time. 5,010 tweets. 890 following. 3,331 followers.

Plays on a popular breakup line: "It's not you, it's me."

" **Live life to the fullest!** " **he tweeted.**

27 August 2012 Pauly Miller ‏@PaulyMortadella [^180.11] https://twitter.com/PaulyMortadella/status/240308731815022592 No Twitter account found with this ID on 18 March 2013.

If I ever twittercide, I'm going to make it look like an accident.

15 May 2013 Just Bill ‏@WilliamAder [^180.12] https://twitter.com/WilliamAder/status/334781808774369280 His bio and stats on 21 May 2013: I'll be here all weak. favstar.fm/users/WilliamAdler - 10,959 tweets. 4,842 following. 15,680 followers.

FUN PRANK: tweet "going hang gliding!!!!" then don't tweet again for 12 years

13 September 2012 Jeffrey Hadz ‏@Hadzilla [^180.13] https://twitter.com/Hadzilla/status/246495504735797249 His bio and stats on 4 May 2013: http://flavors.me/hadzilla - 3,607 tweets. 566 following. 23,764 followers.

Life hack: throw your phone in the ocean

28 June 2013 Mae ‏@mzeld [^180.14] https://twitter.com/mzeld/status/350766697269051393 Her Twitter bio and stats on 5 July 2013: LET'S DO TWEETS OFF EACH OTHER'S BUTTS Instagram: mzeld Vine/real life: mae. 19,607 tweets. 885 following. 28,454 followers.

Let's fall in love and pretend our time on Twitter was a bad dream.

28 July 2012 Sergio ‏@SergioValenCo [^180.15] https://twitter.com/sergiovalenco/status/229452157026455552 His bio and stats on 9 January 2013: Sometimes I'm insightful and witty; then I wake up. Inspirational asshole. Location: In a Cage · http://favstar.fm/users/SergioValenCo/recent - 13,981 tweets. 6,628 following. 9,810 followers.

Throw it all away for a stranger on the Internet.

25 February 2013 Ghetto Trophy ‏@Ghetto_Trophy [^180.16] https://twitter.com/Ghetto_Trophy/status/306155169224208384 Her bio: I'm the Forrest Gump of this place. http://ghettotrophy.tumblr.com/ 7.20.13, SF tweetup: http://tweetvite.com/event/SanFran - Location: United Nations/San Francisco · http://favstar.fm/users/Ghetto_Trophy/recent - 47,394 tweets. 3,683 following. 10,762 followers.

Let's get deleted.

1 December 2013 Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche [^180.17] https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/407395884855734272 Bio of this parody account: Will to power less. Location: Prussia · twitter.com/TinyJesus - 16,633 tweets. 735 following. 27,922 followers.

Then, she quit Twitter and lived happily ever after.

The End.

9 February 2013 Sassy McMelons ‏@SassyMcMelons [^180.18] https://twitter.com/SassyMcMelons/status/300188342346199040 Her bio: Dad was a dock worker and Mom a whore that worked the port. These are the memoirs of a tarnished, Southern Belle. Location: Hotlanta · http://favstar.fm/users/SassyMcMelons - 19,019 tweets. 1,468 following. 7,261 followers.

When you start taking things too literally or seriously on here,

it's time to call it quits.

19 July 2012 Sherry, The Coug ‏@GetCougarized [^180.19] https://twitter.com/GetCougarized/status/225937879669555200 Her bio and stats on 10 November 2012: I have a huge crush on Red Velvet cupcakes, Vodka and anyone that can keep me laughing. http://audioboo.fm/GetCougarized Location: On The Prowl, Near You · http://favstar.fm/users/GetCougarized - 15,041 tweets. 1,808 following. 11,261 followers.

It's never too late to quit.

22 September 2012 Rp3 ‏@redpawn3 [^180.20] https://twitter.com/redpawn3/status/249523835571953664 His bio and stats on 4 November 2012: Solitary Dad, with my kids 5/6 out of 14 days. Location: Backstage · http://favstar.fm/users/redpawn3 - 58,559 tweets. 3,037 following. 5,069 followers. Underlining added.

I don't know what frightens me more

Quitting twitter

Or

Never quitting twitter.

8 November 2012 yourJester ‏@Loli_Sug [^180.21] https://twitter.com/Loli_Sug/status/266612311308001280 Her bio and stats on 11 November 2012: Often inappropriate & by often I mean frequently & by frequently I mean always. My favorite flavor is Vanilla. Location: so close I almost touch · http://favstar.fm/users/Loli_Sug - 53,477 tweets. 2,986 following. 8,664 followers.

Two days later:

Fuck, I hate so many of you.

10 November 2012 yourJester ‏@Loli_Sug [^180.22] https://twitter.com/Loli_Sug/status/267477764611928064 Her bio and stats on 11 November 2012: Often inappropriate & by often I mean frequently & by frequently I mean always. My favorite flavor is Vanilla. Location: so close I almost touch · http://favstar.fm/users/Loli_Sug - 53,477 tweets. 2,986 following. 8,664 followers.

Do you believe in life after Twitter?

22 August 2012 Pimple Eye ‏@PimpleEye - https://twitter.com/PimpleEye/status/238419382160719872 Bio and stats on 6 November 2012: I used to have a pimple, now I don't. Location: Under The Westgate. Melbourne · http://favstar.fm/users/PimpleEye/recent - 28,388 tweets. 852 following. 7,763 followers. ‏Became Fuzzy Pimple @FuzzyPimple [^180.23] in early December 2012.

A bunch of us are going out for pancakes when Twitter is over, if you want to come along.

23 August 2012 peterjames48 ‏@peterjames48 [^180.24] https://twitter.com/peterjames48/status/238563072611082240 His bio and stats on 28 October 2012: This is the writing of the tweeter's bio who wants to win them over. Location: USA · http://favstar.fm/users/peterjames48/recent - 15,739 tweets. 1,957 following. 3,531 followers.

In the US after the bars close, some bar patrons go to restaurants and eat breakfast before heading home.

When Twitter's over, I'll just deny I had an account.

20 December 2012 ShoutingGoddess ‏@ShoutingGoddess [^180.25] https://twitter.com/ShoutingGoddess/status/281902939667304449 Bio: Don't read this shit. Go read a book. 107,764 tweets. 2,563 following. 18,343 followers.

The year 2016:

Twitter elite - do you remember twitter?

Customer - kind of

TE - I was a big deal, I mean big

C - cool bro, cream & 2 sugars

2 October 2013 Loco Eric ‏@ericsshadow [^180.26] https://twitter.com/ericsshadow/status/385549198114189312 His Twitter bio: I don't followback, try RTing a motherfucker. Favstar.fm/users/ericsshaddow - 6,445 tweets. 2,949 following. 7,172 followers.

I'M TOO FUCKING PRETTY FOR THIS.

27 July 2012 Fancy in Wonderland? ‏@JessicaFancy [^180.27] https://twitter.com/jessicafancy/status/229069342170566656 Her bio and stats on 19 December 2012: You'd need an elevator to get up to my level of crazy. Instagram: JessicaFancy. Location: Atlanta · http://favstar.fm/users/jessicafancy/most_retweeted - 7,948 tweets. 290 following. 9,198 followers.

The fear when nearing the end of a book, that.

9 October 2013 Deepshri Iyer ‏@iyerdeepshri [^180.28] https://twitter.com/iyerdeepshri/status/388142514664124416 Her Twitter bio and stats on 17 October 2013: Cricket jedi, pseudo tambramh, marcomm pro, lioness. iyerdeepshri.blogspot.com. 4,658 tweets. 108 following. 418 followers.

Goodbye, followers.

7 October 2012 Melicious ‏@brutalbird [^180.29] https://twitter.com/brutalbird/status/254874649391939585 Her bio and stats the next day: I'm not perfect, but I've been told I'm close enough. http://favstar.fm/users/brutalbird - 5,762 tweets. 1,325 following. 1,445 followers.

It was lovely meeting you people

15 October 2012 VunderBar ‏@BarW38 [^180.30] https://twitter.com/BarW38/status/257771262691119105 Her bio: You can call me a exhibitionist, sadist, or masochist but I prefer the term fun. I am an artist... (bio via @awakeningbrett, name by @wrdsmythe). Location: the mountains · http://barwalker.com/index.html - 55,591 tweets. 1,224 following. 1,756 followers. Her stats on 12 May 2013: 68,523 tweets. 1,760 following. 2,754 followers. She tweeted this on the day after going to a tweetup in Frederick, Maryland. She did not twittercide after the tweetup.

By the time you read this, I'll be gone.

You are now a ghost locked in the Twitter machine.

14 October 2012 donni ‏@donni [^180.31] https://twitter.com/donni/status/257697193249632256 His bio: Comedy sand wedge. Writer, performer, fledgling opener, packet submitter. Host of TwitTalkers (http://twittalkers.com). Sea cows probably never see cows. Location: Chicago City Of Wind · http://qr.net/donni - 9,467 tweets. 836 following. 25,367 followers.

It's been fun

2 July 2012 AB @alecbaldwin [^180.32] https://twitter.com/alecbaldwin/status/219767664254521344

Alec Baldwin's final tweet before Twitterciding almost 45 minutes later, as reported in: "Alec Baldwin Leaves Twitter With Final Tweet: 'It's Been Fun,'" by Brian Anthony Hernandez, Mashable, 2 July 2012, https://mashable.com/2012/07/02/alec-baldwin-leaves-twitter-its-been-fun/

Brian A. Hernandez @BAHjournalist [^180.33] Twitter bio and stats on 27 October 2013: My eyes are locked on music, TV, movies, celebrities, games, sports and social media as @Mashable's Associate Entertainment Editor. Location: New York City · bahjournalist.com - 25,463 tweets. 885 following. 13,876 followers.

Mashable @mashable [^180.34] Twitter bio and stats on 27 October 2013: News, resources, inspiration and fun for the connected generation. Tweets by @mashable staff. mashable.com - 89,739 tweets. 2,730 following. 3,563,191 followers.

The content and URL for Alec Baldwin's final tweet was retrieved from Favstar.fm. Alec Baldwin's ID was subsequently taken over by a squatter. Before he closed his Twitter account, Alec Baldwin had complained about being harassed. At the end, Alec Baldwin was following 225 people and had 922K followers.

And then the tweets stopped.

20 October 2013 ☠Êv¡£☠Genius☠ ‏@That_Damn_Duck [^180.35] https://twitter.com/That_Damn_Duck/status/392074504337633280 His bio: A horrible person, sarcasm specialist & an all around meanie head. The Snuggle bear needs to die AudioBoo & Instagram same name I've been blocked by @snooki. Location: Columbia, South Carolina · favstar.fm/users/That_Damn_Duck - 1,574 tweets. 1,381 following. 16,197 followers.

This is the last joke. You have reached the end of Twitter.

1 July 2009 @Poeks on Favrd. URL lost. Her screen name, ID, bio and stats on Twitter on 31 December 2012: Jen Oslislo

@poeks [^180.36] Some commie lesbo. Location: Portland, OR · http://flavors.me/poeks - 2,133 tweets. 65 following. 2,942 followers.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

❦

#  181. Copyright notice

This notice is important for anyone interested in quoting from _Tragedy and Self-Destruction_.

As currently held, individual tweets are neither copyrighted nor copy protected.

This author does not claim rights to the microblog posts quoted here, nor to their authors' biographical, statistical and other citation information, nor to the other quotes by other authors that originated online or in printed matter – only to their selection, arrangement, and editorial presentation. That, and original material here by Anthony Edward Mitchell, and quotes from interviews conducted for this book are all copyrighted, © 2015 Anthony Edward Mitchell, all rights reserved in all media formats.

One or more portions of this book, up to a total of 1200 words (including URLs, biographical information and statistics, and other citation information) may be reproduced within a single work or in a series of related works (in any medium) without permission if attributed to this book. In excess of 1200 words, even if spread out over several works in a series, requires prior written permission and attribution. This paragraph does not preclude the construction of other compendiums of microliterature with material collected from their original sources, nor does it limit individual authors from using their material as quoted and cited herein, along with that material's metadata and related statistics, URLs and associated biodata as it appears here.

This book is not sponsored, endorsed by or affiliated with Twitter, Inc., Status.net, or E14N Inc. 'Twitter' and 'tweet' are registered trademarks of Twitter, Inc. The display requirements of Twitter, Inc. have been followed wherever possible except as noted here. The first exception is for the use of long-form dates here instead of the truncated ones that Twitter normally displayed. Secondly, Twitter's practice of truncating and rounding off metrics-numbers has not been adopted here. Twitter implemented this practice in early 2014 for numbers with five or more digits. The older format for metrics numbers has been retained throughout. Two other exceptions are the omission of posting times, which are not generally relevant in a work of this type, and the omission of profile photos, as explained in the section here on profile photos, and which is due in part to the copyright issues associated with those images.

The anime cover art is by Omar Remoquillo (trgkfshnt@yahoo.com ) with all rights reserved by Anthony Edward Mitchell © 2015. Omar is available for commissioned work. His portfolio on DeviantArt.com is ghstkatt, which means ghost cat: http://ghstkatt.deviantart.com/

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

# 182. Citation information and additional qualifiers and warnings

All anthologies face the challenge of correctly citing their sources. This anthology is no different. Where errors have been found, they have been corrected, but some errors inevitably survive. This section describes the sorts of errors most likely to be encountered, the limitations of the book's citation information, and other qualifiers and warnings.

The microblog posts collected here date from March 2006 until March 2015, inclusive. Real-time collection of microblog posts did not begin until 10 August 2008 for Twitter and 10 October 2008 for Identi.ca and Status.net. Some Twitter posts made before December 2009 were found on the aggregation website Favrd, which is no longer in operation. Efforts have been made to provide full citations for the material in the anthology. However, for some material this is no longer possible.

Considerable material quoted here is no longer readily available online or will soon disappear. URLs, screen names and IDs are subject to change and are reproduced here as they appeared as and when found, or as found during fact checking. There are variances and possible errors in @usernames, screen names, and URLs. In the author index, some of the index numbers are likely to be erroneous.

Most dates are based on Pacific Time or, in a minority of instances, on the date at the location where the material was posted. Exact dates and times can be found attached to the original posts as they appear online, if they still exist. Below each microblog post quoted here, any appended profile information and statistics (of the poster) are from the same date as the blog post, not from the exact time of each post, unless otherwise noted.

Profile information and statistics follow the general format used by Twitter until 3 April 2014 (UK time), when expanded metrics were added by Twitter to display the following additional information: the month and year the account opened; number of photos and videos posted; the number of tweets favorited, and the number of lists subscribed to by the account. Twitter reverted to its older profile format for some accounts on 8 April 2014, ceasing to display that additional information – but then reversed course and extended the expanded format to all accounts.

Follower numbers were no longer being shown on the Twitter website's public profile pages from 10 August 2014 until 18 August 2014. Follower numbers were still being shown on "profile summaries" on Twitter after 10 August 2014, which is where such numbers were found for inclusion here during that period. Profile summaries could be reached by clicking on a poster's @username above a tweet in someone's feed - but without opening that Twitter account's full profile page.

Version 1.1 of the book is distinguished from version 1 by changes in paragraph formatting and sentence style throughout. Bio corrections and updates were made on 27 April 2015 for @Civilian_Wolf, @journalisthasan, @jowyang, @m1k3y, and @sabeen. The order of citations in the index entry for @swarraj was also corrected on that date, and bibliographic citations added for Howard Gardner and Alan Ryan. The distinction between French and English words for food and beverages after 1066 was added on 1 May 2015, along with the citation for the BBC documentary series The Normans, episode 2, Conquest, presented by Robert Bartlett. William Dalrymple was added to the bibliography on 14 May 2015.

Version 1.2 differs from 1.1 in its formatting, by a revised blurb on the inside cover page, a shortened introduction to the table of contents, and numerous minor corrections for grammar and style. Separate citations for the American Association of University Professors (AAUP), Owen Bennett-Jones, Samantha Braverman, Mona Eltahawy, Martin Ford, James Gallagher, Francis Grose, and Nisid Hajari were added to the bibliography and then again in the main text, where an introductory paragraph was added before each citation. New Historicism in a box was added to section 4, the summary section. The title of chapter 19 was changed from "Commonplace Books" to "Commonplaces in the Writing Process." A paragraph was added to that chapter describing how almost all writers experience frustration at how much time can be required to write and edit well. The description of the Bhagavad Gita in section 85 was expanded. Two lines were added at the end of section 93 on stopping the future. In section 125, a description was added of the regime of George III, along with two quotes by G.K. Chesterton. A description of a fleuron was added to section 130, on pedagogy. A quote by Saskia Sassen on international versus domestic telephony was added to section 132, with a corresponding citation for Sassen added to the bibliography. A description of online dating's impact on offline social interactions was added to chapter 166, the INAD chapter, along with a bibliographic citation for Lionel Tiger. Christopher Wishing and Zachary Sofia were added to the acknowledgements section for helping to review the manuscript. A quote from Paul D. Taylor on English as a trade language, along with another quote about 'normal' in statistics, were added without full citation information on 9 August 2015, after a telephone conversation on that date, which also produced the observation about the popularity in the US that year of crappy out-of-date Eurotrash clothing.

Version 1.3 mentions Socratic questioning. It adds the Twitter screen name, ID, bio and stats of Edward Snowden. Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel is referred to as a Napoleonophile. The conventions of unedited prose are contrasted with edited prose in a footnote in the grammar chapter. In both the biographies of @fadesingh, a note has been added about the failure to render his screen name properly in Devanagari script. Multiple blank end-of-line spaces were removed. A bibliographic citation was added for Sonia Faleiro.

Version 1.4 adds a bibliographic citation for Nilanjana S Roy. The biography of Salil Tripathi was appended. A note was added on the derivation of the name Plantagenet. At the end of section 113, the work was divided into two volumes for publication as separate ebooks. The manuscript for the two-volume work is (and will remain) identical to the single-volume version, except for minor formatting differences and explanatory material. This version was released only as a two-volume work.

Version 1.5 removes the titles of sections from the table of contents, relocating them to the beginning of the chapters where they appear. This version was released only as a two-volume work.

Version 1.6 removes explanatory material from the beginning of the table of contents. This material has been revised and moved to chapter 2, the chapter on how to read this book. Chapter numbers have been removed from the table of contents for the two-volume ebook version because some ebook software interpreted them as page numbers. This version was released only as a two-volume work.

Twitter posts are the most frequently cited works here, followed by microblog posts from Identi.ca/Status.net.

On 9 February 2013, Evan Prodromou of Status.net announced that content on its Identi.ca service would be archived and accounts active in the previous year (about 20% of accounts) would be ported to a new back end. See Evan Prodromou's post on that date: Preview of changes to Identi.ca  http://status.net/2013/01/09/preview-of-changes-to-identi-ca

Blog and microblog posts quoted here appeared on accounts that were publicly viewable at the time the quotes were found, except where noted and then only for the anonymous @EchoOfIndia, twice.

Many of the accounts quoted here have subsequently been taken down, experienced name changes, have had their privacy settings changed, or have had substantial numbers of posts deleted. Accounts that were later abandoned and found to have been taken over by other people are noted here, where known.

Original texts of microblog posts have been preserved in their entirety [except as noted within brackets] and except for some extraneous URL links inside posts if those links do not contribute to readability or add literary value. Content edits have been added to provide clarity in only the most extreme cases, all of which are noted. Accordingly, spelling and grammatical errors are largely reproduced as they originally appeared.

Full biographies have been omitted from citations at the beginning of this book in order to avoid distracting readers and slowing the reading pace.

Biographies and statistics of posters were added as an afterthought and are not exempt from errors and omissions. Some publicly available profile data that was subsequently found to have been revised by microblog authors themselves (to remove personally identifiable information such as real names, locations and employer information) has also been updated here, to be consistent with microbloggers' apparent interest in privacy, particularly for individuals (mostly women) who are known to have been the target of online harassment.

For purposes of readability, some hyphens and periods have been added to separate data elements in the profiles shown here. These additions are not noted.

Some biographical information has been intentionally abbreviated to remove exhortations to drink alcohol and take drugs. Some gratuitously obscene biographical material has also been omitted. Such abbreviations and omissions are rarely noted. In many biographies, milder references remain to alcohol, drugs and sex. Because they are so commonplace, the removal of all such references, and the quotations they support, would have deprived this anthology of essential material.

Links to web addresses found here in microblog posts and author biographies have not been checked for safety or for content that may be inappropriate for some readers. Readers are advised against following addresses from link shortening services that obscure destination addresses. Destination websites can be altered at any time, so a destination that is safe or appropriate one minute may not be safe or appropriate the next. Unless you are confident of the safety and appropriateness of a destination address found here, do not go there.

This book largely adheres to the stylistic peculiarities of American English. Other styles of English, most notably Anglo-Indian or AI English, can be found in some of the quotes. AI and other styles may appear as typos to readers accustomed to American English.

Arabic translations here use an older, simpler form of transliteration than most microblog authors use in their posts and which are unedited here. Older transliterations are used here to make them more comprehensible by Western readers. For example, the newer mesa2a3a would be written here as moussaka.

None of this book's content was sponsored for placement here. No material or familial relationships existed between the book's author and any of the parties quoted here, both during the book's development and at the time of publication, with the exception of two relatives with the surname Mitchell. Of the organizations mentioned here, membership is maintained only in MEC.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

# 183. Music mentioned in this anthology

The most important musical works mentioned in this anthology are indexed below under the name of the author, or musical group, or producer – depending on their relative importance.

Beck

"Where It's At" is the name of a song written by Beck Hansen in 1995 and premiered by him that year at the Lollapalooza music festival. It was the first single from Beck's 1996 album, _Odelay_. The song earned Beck a Grammy Award in the category of Best Male Rock Vocal Performance. Beck is commonly referred to by only his stage name, Beck.

"Where It's At" is quoted in a tweet by Friedrice Nietzsche ‏@TinyNietzsche, dated 8 October 2013, https://twitter.com/TinyNietzsche/status/387636676912091137 The quote: "Two turntables and a microphone."

Black Sabbath

The band's first album, the eponymous _Black Sabbath_ , was released on 13 February 1970 in the United Kingdom on the Vertigo label. It was released in the United States in June 1970 by Warner Bros. Records. The album was produced by Rodger Bain.

Bonfire, Mars

The song "Born to Be Wild" was written by Mars Bonfire. It was first released by the band Steppenwolf in January 1968 in their eponymous album on the ABC Dunhill and RCA Victor labels. It was released as a single from that album in June 1968. It became Steppenwolf's most successful single. _Easy Rider_ (1969) was the first of many movies to use "Born to Be Wild" in its soundtrack. The song's author is primarily referred to by his stage name, Mars Bonfire. His birth name is Dennis Eugene McCrohan, which he changed to Dennis Edmonton.

The title of the song is referenced in the footnote to this tweet:

Born to be mild.

8 September 2012 Junkyardigan ‏@junkyardigan [^75.21] https://twitter.com/junkyardigan/status/244395480535166976

Byrne, David; and Frantz, Chris; and Weymouth, Tina

The song "Psycho Killer" was written by David Byrne, Chris Frantz and Tina Weymouth. It was first performed by their band The Artistic in 1974 and then in 1975 by their New Wave band the Talking Heads. The Talking Heads first released the song on 16 September 1977 on the album _Talking Heads: 77_. The album was released on the Sire Records label in the US and the Philips Records label in Europe and Japan.

Lyrics from the song are quoted in this tweet:

Psycho Killer Qu'est Que C'est Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better Run run run run run run run away

Monday morning in Pakistan, 4 March 2013 Sabeen Mahmud ‏@sabeen [^117.184] https://twitter.com/sabeen/status/308432389405810689 Her bio: Post Modern Flower Child Unabashed Mac Snob Pink Floyd Devotee Tetris Addict West Wing Fanatic. Location: Karachi · http://www.bitsonline.net/beanz - 12,521 tweets. 560 following. 6,572 followers.

Tweeted during a shutdown of public transport and fuel stations in Karachi on the morning after twin blasts in the Abbas Town area of the city had killed at least 48 people and injured more than 150. Sabeen had just returned her Twitter account to public (after locking it in private mode for three weeks in response to threats) to tweet about which hospitals needed blood.

As Sabeen tweeted this, the funeral procession for the previous day's dead was being fired upon from all four sides, with additional casualties.

Postscript:

On 24 April 2015 Sabeen hosted a public event 'Unsilencing Baluchistan' about human rights abuses in Baluchistan Province. She was assassinated shortly after leaving the event.

Call, Alex; and Keller, Jim

"867-5309/Jenny" is a song written by Alex Call and Jim Keller. Tommy Tutone recorded the song in 1981 and released it that year on the album _Tommy Tutone 2_ on the Columbia Records label. The song hit the top of the Billboard Top Tracks chart in 1982. The song generated a flurry of calls to that telephone number by people asking for Jenny. The song is referenced in this tweet:

@PimpleEye 867-5309

24 November 2012 Ashe DeTartaros ‏@Faking_Art [^166.246] https://twitter.com/Faking_Art/status/272608768490106880

Deep Purple

This English rock band's second studio album, The Book of Taliesyn, was released on the Tetragrammaton label in the US in December 1968. The album included a cover version of "River Deep – Mountain High," a single with lead vocals originally performed by Tina Turner and released in 1966. The song was written by Phil Spector, Jeff Barry and Ellie Greenwich. Deep Purple released their version of the song again in February 1969 on the Tetragrammaton label as the B-side of the single, "Listen, Learn, Read On."

Devo

Devo's album _Duty Now for the Future_ was released by Warner Bros. Records Inc. in 1979. It contained the song "Wiggly World," written by Bob Mothersbaugh and Gerald V. Casale.

Felder, Don; and Frey, Glenn; and Henley, Don

"Hotel California" is the title of a song by the Eagles. The song was first released by the Eagles on an album with the same name as the song. The album was released on 8 December 1976 on the Asylum label. Authorship of the song is credited to Don Felder, Glenn Frey and Don Henley. The lyrics contain this line: "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave!" The song is referenced in the footnote to this tweet:

This place is like a fucked up Hotel California.

19 November 2012 PeauxJSimpson ‏@NotJPo [^178.29] https://twitter.com/NotJPo/status/270617335407206400

Gaga, Lady; and Laursen, Jeppe

"Born This Way" is the name of a song written by Gaga (birth name Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta) and Jeppe Laursen. It was released as a single on 11 February 2011 on the labels Streamline, Interscope and Kon Live. It was then released on 23 May 2011 on Gaga's second album. The second album had the same name as the song. The song is referenced in the footnote to this tweet:

Blonde hair. Make up. Nose job. I was Born This Way.

8 January 2012 Shannon @ShannonSuxx [^109.14] https://twitter.com/#!/ShannonSuxx/status/156222473774432257

Gómez-Escolar, Luis; Child, Desmond; and Rosa, Draco.

See the entry below for Martin, Ricky.

Hayes, Alfred

"I Dreamed I Saw Joe Hill Last Night," is the name of poem from 1936 by Alfred Hayes. The poem opens: "I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night, alive as you and me." The poem was set to music by Earl Robinson. The folk singer Joan Baez performed the song in the early hours of 16 August 1968 at the Woodstock Music & Art Fair ("Woodstock") in Bethel, New York. Baez was six months pregnant at the time. A recording of her performance was first released in 1970 on the album _Woodstock: Music from the Original Soundtrack and More_. The album was originally released on Atlantic Records' Cotillion label. The poem provided the basis for this tweet:

"I dreamed I saw Aaron Swartz last night, alive as you and me. He says to me, 'I may be dead, but data must be free! Go set the data free!'"

8 November 2013 William Budington ‏[^150.1] @legind https://twitter.com/legind/status/399036576627302400

Hendrix, Jimi

The song "Are You Experienced?" was written by Jimi Hendrix and released by The Hendrix Experience on the Track label in the UK on 12 May 1967. It was released in a studio album with the same name as the song. "Have you ever been experienced?" asked Jimi Hendrix in the lyrics to that song.

"Have you ever been?" is quoted in a tweet by Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^112.273] 26 November 2012, https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/272992320146771968

Hyatt, Rohail

The song "Alif Allah Chambey Di Booty," sung in Punjabi by Arif Lohar and Meesha Shafi, was produced by Rohail Hyatt in 2010 and released later that year by Coke Studio. It is cited but not quoted in the context of a discussion of media coverage received by Meesha Shafi. Authorship not specified.

Ice-T and DJ Aladdin

"99 Problems" is a song written by Ice-T and DJ Aladdin. It was recorded in 1993 and released in 1994 on Ice-T's album _Home Invasion_. The album was released on the labels Rhyme $yndicate, Priority and EMI Records. A song with the same title and chorus became a hit for the rapper Jay-Z in 2004. The first line of the chorus is quoted here in the chapter "Aphorisms and Clichés."

Jabara, Paul; and Shaffer, Paul

The song "It's Raining Men" was written in 1979 by Paul Jabara and Paul Shaffer and first recorded by The Weather Girls in 1982. The song was released that year by The Weather Girls on their album _Success_ and as a single, both on the Columbia Records label. The song was referenced in regard to this tweet:

It's raining Zen.

26 August 2011 Ramla Akhtar @ramlas [^16.9 and ^72.153] https://twitter.com/#!/ramlas/status/107202637203652609 This is one of only three tweets to be quoted more than once in the main body of this book.

Jagger, Mick; and Richards, Keith

"Sympathy for the Devil" is the title of a song that was recorded by The Rolling Stones in 1968 and first released on 6 December 1968 in the Stones' album _Beggars Banquet_. The album was released on the Decca label in the UK and the London Records label in the US. Authorship is credited to the songwriting partnership of Mick Jagger and Keith Richards.

"Please allow me to introduce myself. I'm a man of wealth and taste," are lyrics from the song that are quoted in a tweet by The Night Stalker @kolchak [^111.110] posted on 12 September 2010: https://twitter.com/kolchak/status/24332413129

Lennon, John

John Lennon's song "Imagine" was released on the Apple label on 9 September 1971 on an album with the same name as the song. The song was released as a single on 11 October 1971. The song was written and performed by John Lennon. The single and the album were the most successful single and album of Lennon's solo career.

The song provides the inspiration for this tweet:

Imagine there's no Jedi, It isn't hard to do, Nothing to kill or die for, And no rebellion too, Imagine all the people, Float in outer space

27 September 2011 Emperor Palpatine @LordPalpatine [^86.69] https://twitter.com/#!/LordPalpatine/status/118586719208615936

Lennon, John; and McCartney, Paul

The song "I am the walrus" was released by the Beatles in 1967. Authorship was credited to the songwriting partnership of John Lennon and Paul McCartney. The song mocks the over-analysis of Beatles songs. The song was released as a B-side single on 24 November 1967 on the Parlophone label.

These lyrics from the song: "i am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together," are the contents of a tweet by Nadim Galal ‏@nadimgalal [^73.84]. The tweet was posted on 13 August 2012: https://twitter.com/nadimgalal/status/235192419602276352

Martin, Ricky

The song "Living the Vida Loca" was a hit for the singer Ricky Martin, who released it in 1999 in his second eponymous album and as a single, both on the Columbia Records label. The song was written by Luis Gómez Escolar, Desmond Child and Draco Rosa. La vida loca = the crazy life, in Spanish.

The song is referenced in the footnotes to three tweets. The first:

BRAIN: Here's Livin' La Vida Loca on repeat for some reason

28 March 2014 Artur ‏@Bagyants [^9.38] https://twitter.com/Bagyants/status/449630818546102272

Second:

Living La Vida So-So.

22 February 2011 JerryThomas @JerryThomas [^72.1] https://twitter.com/#!/JerryThomas/status/40136626374062080

Third:

Livin' La Vida Sofa!

18 March 2013 Pelsjas ‏@elsaPelsjas [^124.79] https://twitter.com/elsaPelsjas/status/313558457284456448

Morissette, Alanis; and Ballard, Glen

The song "Ironic" was written by Alanis Morissette and Glen Ballard. It was produced by Ballard and first released in 1995 on Morissette's album _Jagged Little Pill_. The album was released on the Maverick Records and Reprise Records labels. Without quoting the lyrics, the song is discussed in TASD for its dramatic irony.

Schneider, Fred; and Strickland, Keith

"Planet Claire" is the second single released from the first album of the new-wave group The B-52's. This first album, also called _The B-52's_ , was released on the same day as the single, 6 July 1979. The song was written by Fred Schneider and Keith Strickland and released on the Island Records label in the UK and Warner Bros in the US. Planet Claire is also the name of a 2002 rock musical that includes songs from the B-52's.

The plot of the musical centers on Claire, who works in a dive bar called The Love Shack. Claire is involved in a car crash and wakes up on Planet Topaz, where she engages in self-discovery before returning to Earth.

The song is referenced in this tweet:

She came from planet Claire.

28 January 2013 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^86.2] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/295821048459452416

Simon, Carly

The song "You're So Vain" was written and performed by Carly Simon. The song was released in November 1972 as a single and on her album _No Secrets_. Both releases were on the Elektra label. It is cited as the basis for this tweet:

I bet you think this tweet is about you don't you, don't you, DONT YOU!!!!

23 May 2012 Lori ‏@SuperShourds [^58.7] https://twitter.com/supershourds/status/205296420155179008

Stefani, Gwen

The song "Rich Girl" was written and performed by Gwen Stefani. It was the last song to be included in her debut solo album, _Love. Angel. Music. Baby_., released on 12 November 2004 on the Interscope Records label. Stefani subsequently released the song as the second single from that album on 14 December 2004, also on the Interscope label. The song was also a hit for the performer Christina Aguilera.

The title of the song is quoted in this tweet:

"If I was a rich girl..." -Gwen Stefani, actual rich girl

10 September 2012 donni ‏@donni [^125.53] https://twitter.com/donni/status/245332865410277376

Steppenwolf

See the entry above for Bonfire, Mars. It cites the song "Born to Be Wild," written by Mars Bonfire.

Stock, Mike; and Aitken, Matt; and Waterman Pete

"Never Gonna Give You Up" is a song written by Mike Stock, Matt Aitken and Pete Waterman. It was performed by Rick Astley in 1987 and released that year on Astley's debut album _Whenever You Need Somebody_ on the RCA Records label. It was the first single released from that album. The title of the song is cited in reference to 4chan.

The B-52's

See the entry above for Schneider, Fred; and Strickland, Keith.

The Weather Girls

See the entry above for Jabara, Paul; and Shaffer, Paul. Those are the writers for the song "It's Raining Men" that was a hit for The Weather Girls.

Townshend, Pete

The song "Baba O'Riley" was written by Pete Townshend for the English rock band The Who. The song was first released on 14 August 1971 in The Who's album _Who's Next_ on the Track and Decca labels.

"It's only teenage wasteland" is a quote from that song. The quote appears in a footnote to this tweet, which plays off the quote:

It's only teenage waistline. The Who (augmented)

1 October 2012 Rob Thomas ‏@RobotThomas [^100.38] https://twitter.com/RobotThomas/status/253008010031550464

Waters, Roger

The song "Another Brick in the Wall" - part 2 contained these lyrics: "If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?" The song had three parts, all written by Roger Waters. Part 2 of the song was recorded and released by Pink Floyd as a single on 23 November 1979 on the Harvest Records label in the UK and the Columbia Records label in the US. It was released in their album _The Wall_ on 30 November 1979 on the same labels as the single.

The song is referenced in the footnote to this tweet:

How can you have any pudding if you don't delete your tweet?

27 May 2013 donni ‏@donni [^68.14] https://twitter.com/donni/status/339193306720387073

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

# 184. Number of Citations per Source and Citations per Section

This section is in two parts. In the first part, sources are listed in the order of the most to least number of citations. In the second part, each section of TASD is listed along with the number of ^citations it contains.

In this first part, sources are listed in decreasing order, according to how many times each source is cited.

Accounts found to have closed or experienced a change of control are noted as such in the author index rather than below. The author index also contains clarifications on potentially confusing characters used in @usernames. The author index includes more screen names than those listed below.

Updates and corrections will be posted on TragedyAndSelfDestruction.com. Suggested corrections are very much appreciated. How to send them in? Please go to the website for up-to-date contact information.

186.

@elsaPelsjas - Pelsjas

140.

@donni - donni; Donni Saphire

128.

@nerdamage - nerdamage

76.

‏@tinynietzsche - Friedrice Nietzsche

75.

@bllix - bllix ‏

62.

‏@Schmoodles - Jessica

57.

@kdn13 - kdn

56.

‏@ShoutingGoddess - ShoutingGoddess

53.

@sarahkendzior - Sarah Kendzior

48.

‏@preawsaurus - sweet p; Sweet P; p skittle ‏

46.

@idreamofmayo - foxy j ‏

45.

‏@RobotThomas - Rob Thomas

‏@Verlieren - Sputnik Sweetheart

44.

@doctoratlarge - The Bad Doctor; doctor at large ‏

43.

‏@mzeld - Mae

@punkystarfish - Justine Nienaber ‏

41.

@alaindebotton - Alain de Botton

37.

@thesulk - Alec Sulkin

36.

@KayM77 - Kay Morgan

‏@tejucole - Teju Cole

35.

@nytimes - The New York Times

‏@PyrBliss - Miss Fuckalicious

33.

@Bagyants - Artur ‏

@FuzzyPimple - Fuzzy Pimple; Fuzzy LePimp ‏

@redpawn3 - Rock God

@TheBosha - The Bosha ‏

32.

‏@RameezaNizami - Rameeza Nizami

‏@shariv67 - Shari Vanderwerf

31.

@lvvzz - llvvzz; PrincessCandyEmpire

@redherringbear - Red Herring Bear; Andy Glib

30.

@FilthyRichmond - Jocelyn TestesHarder; Jocelyn

29.

@NotJPo - Poe corno2; Ms. Shiz; Gone Peauxstal

‏@rands - rands

‏@shanethevein - Shane

28.

‏@Aspersioncast - Aspersioncast

‏@clarkekant - Clarke Kant

‏@UnaDispatch - Una Moore

27.

@thesupergrobi - christine ‏

26.

@byronblurb - Not the Lord; da Blurb‏

Der Kosmonaut

‏@FlyoverJoel - Joel Ingersoll

25.

@badbanana - Tim Siedell

@IamEnidColeslaw - Mary Charlene

@ryaninco - Ryan Armentrout‏

24.

@bungdan - Dan Murphy ‏

@chopper4jk - Chopper; Stuckinthezipper

@Ghetto_Trophy - Ghetto Trophy; CatasTrophy

@Hormonella - Hormonella, damn it!; Don't Tell Daddy

23.

@aleneparr - Alene Parr ‏

@kellyoxford - kelly oxford ‏

‏@NikiWithIssues - Niki

@Paxochka - Pax Paxochka ‏

@sbellelauren - lauren ashley bishop ‏

22.

‏@jehujeni - Jenipher

21.

‏@manish_vij - Manish Vij ‏

‏@rejecter - Ms. Spalanzani; rjctr

@robdelaney - rob delaney

@SilverKick - Silver Kick ‏

@skullcat - skullcat; aspersion cat

20.

@jowyang - Jeremiah Owyang ‏

‏@snarkarella - snarkarella

@sonaliranade - SonaliRanade ‏

@Token_Geezer - Token Geezer ‏

‏@yoyoha - Josh Hara

19.

@Im_Tricia - Tricia

‏@junkyardigan - JUNKYARDIGAN

‏@TheBubbleBubble - Jesse Colombo

18.

‏@_Midtowngirl - midtowngirl

@imence2 - plzdontfollowme; plzstopfollowingme

‏@JessicaFancy - Fancy in Wonderland?

@Lisa_Laughs_ - Lisa Laughs; Lisa Laughs 4Real

‏@NYTMinusContext - NYT Minus Context

@omgitsleesa – leesa; mrs. uppinghouse

@swarraj - Swarna Rajagopalan ‏

@taslimanasreen - taslima nasreen ‏

@WilliamAder - Just Bill; William Ader

17.

@beingtheo - Theodora Chester

@briangaar - Brian Gaar ‏

@disruptivedean - Dean Bubley ‏

@hipstermermaid - braden graeber ‏

@Just_Lee_ - Lee; Just Lee

‏@MoistPork - Moiste Porque

@NightValeRadio - Night Vale podcast ‏

16.

@aparnapkin - Aparna Nancherla ‏

@bazecraze - Alex Baze

‏@chrisanna4real - Chrisanna4real

@FSUSteve - Steve ‏

‏@mikeinla09 - Michael B Inlaoninni

15.

@AthertonKD - Kelsey D Atherton

‏@CrispinBurke - Crispin J. Burke

@davidhoang -David Hoang ‏

@DiscoLemonKayy - Mudblood ‏

@JanuaryJames - January James ‏

@JennyPentland - Jenny Pentland; Jenny IdStandOnSurly‏

@Lipgloss_Nerd - J ‏

@minasmusings - Minarotically. Ish.; Mina McSugarSnatch

@NoLuckWanted - NoLuckWanted ‏

@shelbyfero - shelby fero

14.

@Loli_Sug - yourJester

‏@timmathews - Tim Mathews

13.

@Bashfullsmile - Token_smile; Bash

@biorhythmist - matt

‏@buck4itt - Buck

@Classy_Cassy89 - Classy Cassy ‏

‏@Glorificus917 - Shea Burnham

@iNusku - Scott McGrew ‏

‏@JerryThomas - JerryThomas

‏@MeetingBoy - Meeting Boy

‏@navanax - 50% More Slime; Adrian Woodworth

@NoorShamma - Noor Shamma ‏

@UroojZia - Urooj Zia-Ahmed; Urooj Zia ‏

@xMalakMansourx - Malak Mansour

‏@YUCKYBOT - Craig S.; Prime Directive

12.

‏@AlexSteffen - AlexSteffen

@BDGarp – Brian; bd

@BitchingMe - Bitch_In_Me

@grrrawrr_ - ♥

@guardian - The Guardian

Hudson

‏@IGotsSmarts - Steve Mieczkowski

@Interdome - Adam Rothstein ‏

‏@JEllis1313 - Justina

‏@martingeddes - Martin Geddes

‏@MmeSurly - Kelly Pentland

‏@MrsGoose69 - МrsG

@qz - Quartz

@shiraselko - Shira

‏@That_Damn_Duck - ☠Dead Soul Walking☠

‏@the_moonface - the_moonface

@VeryShortStory - Very Short Story ‏

11.

@BlackCoffeeCoop - Black Coffee

@dosesofneurosis - bee ‏

@HarvardBiz - Harvard Biz Review

@Kimpulses - Kim ‏

@kristygee - Kristy Grant ‏

@leashless - Vinay Gupta ‏

@m1k3y - m1k3y

@PuddingBoobs - Puddin Warhole; Puddin

@RummyLauded - Your Muse ‏

‏@SachinKalbag - Sachin Kalbag ‏

‏@sanasaleem - Sana Saleem

‏@SRbeta - SEAN ‏

10.

‏@AristotlesNZ - Aristotles

@ChromaGeddon - Chroma Geddon ‏

‏@dgphotos - Naghmeh

@ElSnarkistani - El Snarkistani; Gary Owen ‏

‏@galiamango - Galia Mango

@ghufranky - ghufran ‏

@H0TMessBarbie - H0TMessBarbie ‏

@JeniScagnetti - Jeni Scagnetti

@jorshuwah - Josh S ‏

@Kyle_Lippert - Kyle Lippert ‏

@meganamram - Megan Amram

‏@MistookMistake - Vasculitis Vixen; MistookMistake

@MrFornicator - Jamie Capria ‏

‏@peckishly - peckishly

@Spotzwoj - justin; justin s. ‏

@tigersgoroooar - Mayor Baconator; Pony Starwars

@TrueTorontoGirl - Calamity ClemRocks

9.

@BarnabyHM - Kiwichettan

‏@BillMc7 - Bill Mc7

@Brain_wash - Mr. Want; Mr. Won't

@ddscrap - ddscrap; D

‏@DeepSigh_ - Tracey; the Creeping Cougar; tna

DeGeorge, Nicholas

@designersays - designersays ‏

@farleftcoast - farleftcoast ‏

@ispypanda - Panda, ❤Panda❤

‏@Jazzzzzmina - Brunette Bombshell; It's Jazmine Bitch!

@jeffreystapler - Jeff Stapler ‏

@majorlyp - majorlyp

@mattblaze - matt blaze ‏

@mattsta - Matt Stancliff ‏

‏@NabihaMeher - Nabiha Meher Shaikh

@natashaleggero - Natasha Leggero

@rodney_at_large - rodney

@ronigrace - Veronica Grace ‏

@SergioValenCo - Sergio ‏

@smartypeach - Anna

@Stexcy - Stacy‏

@tackie_jackie - Butterfingers; tackie_jackie

‏@teamsilence32 - Mr. Silence

@theofficeprick - The Office Prick ‏

@toriTBC - Tori

@tweetcomedian - Eminence Front ‏

@washingtonpost - Washington Post

@weareourdesires - levinandkitteh ‏

8.

@AndaleebRizvi - Andaleeb ‏

@benicus_rex - ben ‏

@BettyLies - Polythene Spam; Susan; Not Betty

@Blue_Crab - Crab

@Coastiefish - Ron Mexico

@CoreyNotKori - Corey G.

@DeanOkay - Dean

@Eccentricandhow - Eccentricandhow

@fluffysuse - Fluffy Suse ‏

@ggreenwald - Glenn Greenwald

‏@hiranajam - hiranajam

@jane_bot - Jane ‏

‏@jilliancyork - Jillian C. York

@JimmerThatisAll - Jimmer Cork-Bottle ‏

@josephesque - Brosef Stalin

@juliussharpe - Julius Sharpe

‏@justinpickard - Justin Pickard

‏@kelkulus - Kelkulus

‏@lawnrocket - Emma Coats

@MayhemCzar - Czar M

@rachiecandice - Rachie ‏

@ragazzel - Rez ‏

@ruthakers - ruthakers

@SaraESpivey - Sarachels; Sara Spivey

@senorwinces - Señor Winces

@sixthformpoet - Sixth Form Poet‏

@SuperApple8 - I Hate Kate ‏

@TheBlessMess - Mongrel Heart

@tinydoctor - Dr. Yoshev Omed; tinydoctor

@Ty_Schutz - Ty

@wheatnik - wheatnik

7.

‏@5hael - Shael

‏@afrocyberpunk - AfroCyberPunk

@astepanovich - Amie Stepanovich

‏@clindsaysway - Thigh High; Charlottabad

‏@crassmama - Ms Mayhem; Meaghan Mayhem

@disastrous007 - ThisBitchRightHere

@EMPmuseum - EMP Museum

‏@etharkamal - Ethar El-Katatney

@eTHEgoddess - The Goddess ‏

@evrythingmustgo - Larry Carlat; LC

‏@glenyrd - Glenyrd Skynyrd; Glen

@goodballs - Ephie Tornado; lady balls ‏

‏@inScytheful - Julie Baby

@iyad_elbaghdadi - Iyad El-Baghdadi ‏

@Jason_maybe - Jason was here

@kervinf - Kervin Ferreira

@letsgetgizzy - Giselle

@lisarahmat - Lisa ‏

@mathewi - Mathew Ingram

‏@MehrTarar - Mehr Tarar

‏@mikemyatt - Mike Myatt

@Mothpete - Peter Biggerboat; Peter Sharkface

@myraemacdonald - Myra MacDonald ‏

‏@Nickadoo - Nick Stadler

@ninja_drums - bill naai ‏

@OGJefe - OG Jefe.

@peaceintruth1 - Rusty ‏

@rare_basement - Amber Eeeeeee ‏

‏@Samarsaeed - Samar Ahmad

‏@SashaBrenner - SashaJBrenner

‏@savvystrider - Manish

@SeanINCypress - Sean ‏

@Slashleen - Slashleen; Meth Hammer

@slyoung5 - Sly

‏@smedlee - Ed Lee

@tazeen - T a z e e n ‏

@thatstings - That Stings

‏@Thedudish - dudi sharon

@VerifiedDrunk - Verifried Drunk

@Wikipedia - Wikipedia

@WSJ - The Wall Street Journal

6.

@_DavidShields - David Shields

@20committee - John Schindler ‏

‏@ashgrash - Ashley Grashaw

@bdbdleeroybrown - Bad Bad Leeroy Brown

Birdwell, Aubrey

@brandynwiththey - Brandyn MacDonald ‏

@BrekkeBlacksmth - Scott Davis

@brianlayer - Brian Layer

@CAKETENDO64 - CAKE SMOTH

‏@CcSteff - Stephanie; Twittah_bigger ‏

@cloudcm - Cloudypiano

‏@DanOverHere - Dany

‏@davidsteven - David Steven

‏@ecorno2 - Ecornuto; *ecorno*

@evgenymorozov - Evgeny Morozov ‏

@facciabella - Sherry ‏

@FaisalAdam_ - Faisal Adam; Faizzy!

@Gooberforce - doodle

@gorrdano - Gordo‏; Pootologist

@headhntr - Morgan Mayhem ‏

@HecatePanGddss - Rey

@hotdogsladies - Merlin Mann ‏

@IMBeanz - Bean

‏@insinuateme - Sin

@jneslo - Jana

@Kobbejaeger - Kobbejaeger ‏

@LaetPO - Laet Oliveira ‏

@Laugh_Riot - Laugh Riot

@LibertyLynx - R

@markleggett - Mark Leggett ‏

@mdob11 - moody monday ‏

@MentalAbortions - MentalAbortions ‏

‏@MissWont - Miss Wont

‏@Momfia - Emmerson McGinnis

@MrsRupertPupkin - lauren caltagirone

@NazMraz - Nasrin ‏

@nburrr - Nikki Havoc; Nikki HT

‏@nihang - Sarabjit Singh

@NyLow9 - NyLow

‏@Parentpains - Parentpains

‏@Psycholyst - Psycholyst

@RuthePhoenix - Ruthe Phoenix

@SlappNuttz - SlappNuttz

@Soo_Scandalouss - Smokin_Nympho ‏

@suey_park - Suey Park ‏

@sween - Jason Sweeney

@The_Dorkster - The Dork ‏

@The_Separatist_ - Ted Kaczynski ‏

@TheThryll - Will Phillips

@Tinkerbell_ - Tink; TinkAlmighty, eh!

@TommyKarate - Tommy Karate ‏

@Wussawilla - Teewee; tangy ‏

5.

@_goldieeelocks - goldie; GoldieLox ‏

@25_Vero - **V** ‏

@9to5Life - Lifey ‏

@AKickassHandle - Caffeinated Passant. ‏

@alibaby90 - Ali ‏

@Angrea - AndreaSometimes; Angerson Cooper

@Annoyedworld - Annoyedworld; AnnOyedworld

@asshat33 - Lint Trap

@asteris - Asteris Masouras 正义; Asteris Masouras عار ‏

@BFriedmanDC - Brandon Friedman ‏

‏@BorowitzReport - Andy Borowitz

@brendlewhat - brendle what ‏

‏@bridger_w - Bridger Winegar

@capricecrane - caprice crane

@Civilian_Wolf - Tim

@ClearlyUnwell - Clearly Unwell ‏

‏@CrankyPappy - CrankyPappy; C®ankyPappy‏

@DanielGulati - Daniel Gulati

@DDDBU - D

@DearAnyone - Artie Johann

@debihope - tenacious d.; notorious d.e.b.

@delfie - delfie

@dietschweppes - Adam Matonic ‏

@DONTJIMMYMEJULZ - Julz Millar

@EricMarten - Eric Martin

@everylilthing - Abbey 5¢; Hushpuppy 5¢

@evilmensuck - Heather ‏

@fireland - Joshua Allen

Freedel, Tess

@hairicaaa - ERRKUH.; denial.

‏@IntoxicaTweeted - IntoxicaTweeted

@JennyJohnsonHi5 - Jenny Johnson ‏

‏@joeschmitt - Joe Schmitt

@justsendTulips - Sarah ☮

@KerryBeetge - Kerry Beetge ‏

@MariamEltawil - Mariam Eltawil ‏

‏@MaysoonMM - Maysoon

@MinutesofMayhem - Neal Mayhem ‏

@myconfusedface - Waj ‏

@NamJunePaikArt - NamJunePaikArtCenter

NOmad Red Owl

@nuqsh - Sadaf Baig ‏

@pan_duh - mint cdromney ‏

@poeks - Jen Oslislo

@RamblingMachine - Ella Capparella

@ramlas - Ramla Akhtar

@rationalists - CJ Werleman

‏@rosekotze - Rose Kotze

@rupeegroupie - Rupee Groupie ‏

@sabre_squirrel - Saber-Squirrel ‏

@SCbchbum - Erica B. ‏

@ScottLinnen - Scott Linnen; Wile E. Quixote

@SerpentineFlesh - βιυε ❦

‏@shellyspivey - SpiveyAssassin; Spivey Deluxe

@smakelainen - Sami Mäkeläinen ‏

@smuttercup - Smuttercup

@Snowden - Edward Snowden

‏@spartacuffs - Gene Shorts

‏@SuperShourds - Lori

@Tat6277 - Tatyana ‏

@TheAtlantic - The Atlantic

‏@TheBiggIdea - Kevin Biggins

@TheDweck - Jess Dweck

‏@thegrugq - the grugq

‏@TheLastGoddess - Sophia Walker

@timhaines - Tim Haines

@UberFacts - UberFacts ‏

@WhoCuppedMyCake - Nads Cocker Spar

@WistfulBlue - Wistful Blue; Wistful Blue Twysta

@YesThatAmy

@YokoOno - Yoko Ono

@YUNGLIKEAHORSE - INTOLERANT JOKE POPE ‏

@yzupp - sara

@Zoeytrope - Zoey P.

4.

@_theigirl - Sileah ‏

@10InchesPlus - Daniel Day Lube-this; Danny Lover ‏

@aboutdotcom - About.com

@aedison - Avery Edison

@AJEnglish - Al Jazeera English

@AlexHortonTX - Alex Horton ‏

@aliceysu - Alice Su ‏

Anonymous 4chan participant

‏@appliedhistory - James Hester

@avaricious1 - who cares; Jt

@BarW38 - VunderBar ‏

@bedroombazooka - shane ‏

@blondediva11 - blondediva11

@BrewedThoughts - Osama A. Hashmi

@bridger_w - Bridger Winegar ‏

‏@brookejarvis - Brooke Jarvis

‏@BW_Ellis - Brian W. Ellis

‏@caitlinmoran - Caitlin Moran

@calamur - calamur ‏

@CandyWarhole - Anita Doobie

@CChristineFair - Christine Fair ‏

‏@CelticMoonDance - Celtic Moondance

@Ch8rming - This Charming Man

‏@charlie_simpson - EM Simpson

‏@Chelsea_Elle - Chelsea Elle

@chrisdelia - Chris D'Elia ‏

@Clare_innit - Glitter Clunge; Miss Treated

‏@clington - clinton john

@ConfusedLush - Scotched Rinker; Lushy Warpole

@csoghoian - Christopher Soghoian ‏

‏@DannyZuker - Danny Zuker

@derekasaurus - derekasaurus

‏@DomainIncite - Kevin Murphy

@eluna333 - Elena Dentata ‏

@EveryTweet_Ever - Every Tweet Ever ‏

@fifiharoon - Fifi Haroon

@FknVancouver - Rawr; Rawr Rawr ‏

@Forbes - Forbes

@FrauFickenDammt - FrauFickenDammt

@GaryJanetti - Gary Janetti

@gavinpivott - Gavin Pivott ‏

@GetCougarized - The Coug; Get Cougarized

@goolicker - Goolicker

@GreatDismal - William Gibson ‏

‏@GreenEyedJedi - Sarah; Sarah Dactyl ‏

@HairyJew4Life - Harold Jew; Hebrew Hammer

@HuffingtonPost - Huffington Post

@iamfase - fase ‏

‏@Jack_E_Oh - D.C.

@JehangirPocha - Jehangir Pocha ‏

‏@JimmySky - James Skylar Gerrond

@jonathanshainin - Jonathan Shainin ‏

@k_beec - KBC ‏

@Killerdolce - Annie Troy

@Kimmittable - Kim

@KindOfASmartass - Chris ‏

@kingladar - Ladar Levison

@KKAlThani - Khalifa ‏

‏@krmaher - katherine maher

‏@LameesAbaza - Lamees Abaza

@LaurenGreenberg - Lauren Greenberg

@lazerdoov - Doooooov

@lcspt - i used to be a pet

@leslid79 - Your Sweet Lesli ‏

‏@LisaFarted - It really is.

@LittleHarmonica - Monica ‏

‏@LouiseMensch - Louise Mensch

@LuvPug – angie; angieMcSugarButt ‏

‏@marvisirmed - Marvi Sirmed

@mashable - Mashable

@matingmind - Geoffrey Miller

@mattthomas - Mαtt Thomαs; matt

@meat_tornado_ - *meat tornado* ‏

‏@mikenelson586 - Mike Nelson

@mikko - Mikko Hypponen ✘ ‏

@molls - Molly McAleer ‏

@monaeltahawy - Mona Eltahawy

@MooseAllain - Moose Allain ‏

‏@MorganJ7 - Captain Morgan

@MrBrownEye2 - Brown Eye

@Muath_tu - Muath ‏

@NeinQuarterly - Nein. ‏

@nerdsrockk - Gio

@NewYorker - The New Yorker

@NickBossRoss - Nick ‏

@nighatdad - Nighat Dad

@ninaundercovers - Nina ‏

@OvertDictionary - The Overt Dictionary

@PaulyMortadella - Pauly Miller ‏

@peterjmunson - Peter J. Munson ‏

@Pitinka - Tracy ‏

@postsecret - PostSecret

‏@Razarumi - Raza Rumi

‏@Remiel - Gabriel '❑' Cubbage; Remiel

‏@robertcaruso - Robert Caruso

@Robski_Boy - The Boy Wondering

@samyspaz - Samantha; Token Sam

@SarahKSilverman - Sarah Silverman

@SarahR_82 - Sarah R; SarahBeerInTheFridge

@SeeEllVee - Whiskey Tits

@serafinowicz - Peter Serafinowicz

@sofifii - Sophia rossi ‏

@stcolumbia - Dan Trombly ‏

@Storminika - Ororo Iqadi T'Challa ‏

@stubbleagent - Sam Copeland ‏

@sucittaM - MJ

@TechCrunch - TechCrunch

@textism - Dean Cameron Allen

@thatupsdude - Rob; The Robfather™ ‏ ‏

@TheAdly - A.Adly; Adly

‏@theblowout - The Blowout

@thedayhascome - Josh Hopkins

@tinaisall - Tina... duh.; Tina Chesal

@TomHanksIsHot - Nicole Betz ‏

@tracy_marq - Tracy Marquez‏

@vyfdewiel - Albertus ‏

@wikileaks - WikiLeaks

@WisdomBooth - Jonesy

@WTFuckFacts - What The Fuck Facts

@xunglam - Xung Lam ‏

@YeahImAshley - Ashley

3.

‏@_LaPeligrosa - Tara Lee

@1knotwhole - Crazy Girl

@aaditee - Bear Jr. ‏

@ainsworth - I'll Have Another ‏

@alanna_shaikh - Alanna Shaikh ‏

@AmitChaudhuri - Amit Chaudhuri

‏@anammansuri - Anam Mansuri

@andylevy - Andy Levy ‏

‏@angsuman - Angsuman Chakraborty

‏@ashley_barnhill - ashley barnhill ‏

@B0MBS_ - Bombs ‏

@BarebakAssassin - Brandon ‏

@bathingsuitarea - BathingSuitArea ‏

‏@BBQJones28 - Juan Two Three; Misha BBQJones

@BedheadBunny - Some girl; BedheadBunny

@bengreenman - Ben Greenman

Biff

@bizarre3angles - angel ‏

@blakehounshell - Blake Hounshell ‏

@Blarebare - BlarePapaBare; Blarebare

@bombscribe - bombscribe ‏

@brainpicker - Maria Popova

‏@caidid - Caitlin Fitz Gerald

@captainsidcup - captain sidcup

‏@carge77 - Seth Cargiuolo

@Carter_TCB - Lone_Star ‏

@CertifiablySane - CertifiablySane

‏@ChapmanAnna - Anna

@charliearchy - Charles Davis

@che1908 - caleb b ‏

@cheeky_dre - Cheeky Dre ‏

@commala1999 – Missy

‏@Corleown - Johnny Marijuanaseed; Corleown

@Cornfed210 - Janelle ‏

@cpinck - Chris Pinckney

@Crommunist - Crommunist ‏

‏@Cynner777 - Cynnerland

@damagednerd - The Nerdist ‏

‏@daria_1024 - Daria

@DeathFixation - Killakillakilla ‏

@DeathStarPR - Death Star PR

@declanwalsh - Declan Walsh

Denise - a piano teacher. No last name given.

@dizzyidjit - recordstoregurl

‏@DJRotaryRachel - rachel lichtman

@EastKentTom - EastKentTom ‏

‏@El_nacho_Nigre - El nacho Nigré

@elhelwy - Yousif El Helw

‏@emceej - emceej

@etribune - The Express Tribune

‏@ExcuseMyTweets - Master Shake

@ExploringUrMind - UCMEICU2 ‏

@FannyB1tch - FannyBitch

@farghal - farghal ‏

@FlirtyLana - I am Lana; Lana

@FRANKSTALICIOUS - Frankie Boy ‏

‏@Fritinancy - Nancy Friedman

Gabie

@gharbeia - Amr Gharbeia

@gigaom - GigaOM, Gigaom

@Gnyx_ - Ghada ‏

@goldengateblond - Ain't baby OR Janet; shauna;

@Gorman_Siobhan - Siobhan Gorman

@GPappalardo - Soap Box Liberal

‏@GrapeSodaJamb - Grape Soda Jamb

@Hadzilla - Jeffrey Hadz ‏

@HannahAntics - KikiPop

@haurdCider - haurdCider

@HeyitsLori - Lori

@hipchkk - Jennifer ‏

@husainhaqqani - Husain Haqqani ‏

@iAmJuddy - Juddy ‏

@ian_Wright - Ian Wright

@idibon - idibon ‏

@infosecjerk - Info Security Jerk ‏

@InSoOutSo - JT

@IntermediaPak - Intermedia Pakistan

@ioerror - Jacob Appelbaum

‏@Jandalize - Jandalize

@JasonCaley - Jason McBride ‏

@JasonLeopold - Jason Leopold ‏

‏@jasonlight73 - Jason

@jayrosen_nyu - Jay Rosen

‏@jeffporper - Jeff Porper

@jenstatsky - Jen Statsky

@jeremyscahill - jeremy scahill

‏@Jesatronic - Jesia CatfishLion

@joelleboucai - Joelle Boucai ‏

@johnrobb - John Robb

@joshuafoust - joshuafoust ‏

@JPHaddadio - J.Paul Hadd

@jseattle - Jseattle

‏@jstogdill - Jim Stogdill

@juicymorsel - juicymorsel ‏

@juskewitch - Adam Juskewitch

@KalonFullerton - Kalon Fullerton ‏

@kamiekaymee - neptunian ‏

‏@karentozzi - Karen (Tozzi)

@KaseyAnderson - Kasey Anderson

‏@Kasparov63 - Garry Kasparov

‏@katdenk - Kat ‏

@kottke - kottke.org ‏

@LailaLalami - Laila Lalami ‏

@LayDbibo - Micayla ‏

@leeclowsbeard - Lee Clow's Beard

@LewEvil - Lewcifer ‏

‏@lilgapeach30 - Manda Daisy Duke; Manda

@madmonimoni - Moni ‏

@Mahim_Maher - Mahim Maher ‏

@marebytes - Just Mare ‏

‏@markweston19 - Mark Weston

‏@michamontaz - Girl Disappearing; madge-ic montaz

‏@Midgetspar - Corey Paterson

@MikeJordanBro - Michael Jordan

@MildlyPerplexed - Never Mind ‏

‏@mims - Christopher Mims

@Missing_A - ←Ali♥

Mitchell, Maude Wayne

@moonlitdesert - نُسيبة

@moot - moot

@morgan_murphy - Morgan Murphy ‏

@MrsMikePatton - Pink Cigarette; Ænima

@Ms_Mosman - Jessica

@myrrh - myrrh

@name_inspector - The Name Inspector

@NatalieRoos - Natalie Roos ‏

@naughtynaffit - Synonymph ‏

@nealbrennan - Neal Brennan

@Newsweek - Newsweek

@NewYorker - The New Yorker

Nordquist, Richard

@nPhelendriqal - Cruz! ‏

@oliveremberton - Oliver Emberton

@omibaloney - Naomi Irene Rohatyn ‏

@OngoingBS - BS

@Openthemag - Open Magazine

‏@paayal__ - Payal.....

@Peachyisk - Peachy isk!

@PennyRed - Laurie Penny ‏

@piplips - Linda ‏

@pixelpiper - Pixel Piper ‏

@PolicyMic - PolicyMic

‏@PrettiestPickle - Prettiest Pickle

‏@ProResting - Miss L

‏@Purba_Ray - Purba Ray

‏@qikipedia - The QI Elves

@rachow - rachow

@rameshsrivats - Ramesh Srivats ‏

‏@ramkid - Ramki

@RegularGuy82 - Kevin ‏

‏@RGA - R/GA

@richmckay - richmckay

‏@robcrilly - Rob Crilly

@RudeRidingRomeo - Himanshu ‏

@SableFlare - SableSushi ‏

@sabakhan - Saba Khan ‏

‏@samanthalasko - Samantha Lasko

@SassyMcMelons - Sassy McMelons ‏

@sbakkila - Sam Bakkila

@SeoulBrother - SeoulBrother

@SGadea - SunnyGirl ‏

@shahanasiddiqui - Shahana Siddiqui ‏

@SheBanggs - Katie L

@Sherman_Alexie - Sherman Alexie ‏

@silent_musings - Lee

@SimplyNamedTron - Chück. ‏

@Smethanie - Stephanie McMaster ‏

@SohailAbid - Sohail; Ram Mohammad Singh ‏

‏@spacearcheology - Space Archeology

@StatusInBeirut - Maral Ghanma

@steven_metz - Steven Metz

@steveworkman - Steve Workman ‏

‏@stoweboyd - Stowe Boyd

@strangerslog - The Stranger

@sweetg35 - Donna Tiso ‏

@tamytoo2 - Tammy

@tashymarie - tashy baby

Taylor, Paul D.

@tef - tef ‏

@Telegraph - The Telegraph

@TesstifyBarker - Tess Barker ‏

Tetraodontid

@textinstagram - Text-Only Instagram

@ThatGabi - Gabrielle D

@the_intercept - The Intercept

@The_Rain_Man_ - Rain Man

@TheChrisAngel - Chris Angel

@TheEconomist - The Economist

‏@thegingerjew_ - rachel facial

@TheRohiniReddy - Rohini Reddy ‏

@TheTennisPhenom - nes; nes delaney

@TheToxicWaster - Jack Koff ‏

@Tiffannia - Tiffany

@timesofindia - Times of India

‏@TimothyS - Tim Shorrock

@tipsy_in - Ritu Mohanty ‏

@tjinscot - Tanya Johnston

@Tonejonzz - Togna Bologna ‏

@TrainedHedonist - Porn Snob; Brian Soto

@treyka - Trey Darley

@trialfemme - ThereIsNoJustice

@TSchnoebelen - Tyler Schnoebelen

Turtle, Richard

@TylerComeOn - Tyceratops

‏@UluwatuSiap - Sebastion

@umairh - umair haque ‏

@uniglittertits - Unicorn Glitter Tits ‏

‏@usmansheikh - Usman Sheikh

@vambenepe - William Vambenepe ‏

@verybadrat - Anthea T.

@Vidyut - Vidyut

@virsanghvi - vir sanghvi

@waxsanskritic - Luther ‏

@WillWiles - Will Wiles ‏

‏@writerPT - Ann

@Xytrex - Jamie; Jamie Sloan

@YousafzaiMalala - Malala Yousafzai - impersonator

‏@ysengrim - GENKI SLUGGER

@zseward - Zachary M. Seward; Zach Seward

2.

@_BreakingAshley - Ashley Zamot ‏

‏@_BryceJohnson - Bryce Johnson

@_Shizzle - Mr. Luva Luva

@_valeriei - Valerie Irvine

‏@_xLNc - D.H

@2TallGreg - Greg Walter ‏

‏@3nnui - chris

‏@a_small_lab - Chris B

@AcesEveryTime - AcesEveryTime

@acorn - Nitin Pai ‏

@adam_fogle - Adam Fogle

‏@Aelkus - Adam Elkus

@AgamemNOMNOM - Dread God

@Ahm76 - ahm

‏@AIanHangover - Alan Garner

@alexia - Alexia Tsotsis ‏

@AlexOlesker - Alexander Olesker ‏

‏@aloria - aloria

@ammarakh - Ammara Khan ‏

@AnaliFirst - Lisa Johnson

‏@andreascon - Andreas Constantinou

@AngelinaAnnora - Angelina ‏

‏@aniajakubek - ania jakubek

@anthmichcara - AMC ‏

‏@apuga74 - MaMaBeAr6

@ariscott - Ari Scott ‏

Arnold, Karen

@arrington - Michael Arrington

@asalamafridi - Abdul Salam Afridi ‏

@ashk4n - ashkan soltani

‏@ashsultana - Ayesha

‏@aveuaskew - Olivia

@BabaRamDass - Ram Dass

‏@BabetteJones - Rack on Tour

‏@Bacon_Ball - Bacon Ball

@badar76 - Badar Khushnood

@bartongellman - Barton Gellman

@bbbethmccoll - ford ‏

@BeauBanter - HellNo Kitty

@bedheadblonde - Bethamphetamine

@behindyourback - passive aggressive

@Benn_Dover - Benn

‏@BernardKeane - Bernard Keane

@BertFlange - Bert‏

@BigBec43 – Rebecca In Charge; Miss Stranger Danger

‏@BigMeanInternet - Mal Harris

‏@BillCorbett - BillCorbett

@BillPutnamPhoto - Bill Putnam ‏

‏@bindupreddy - Bindu Reddy

@blankslate - Alex

@bliccy - Nicole

@BlondHousewife - Liz T. Goddess

‏@blumaberlin - Bluma Berlin

‏@blunder_tweets - blunder rated

‏@bobbiejo448 - Viva La Moi

‏@boobsareimplied - Little Bear

Bowles, Randy

@Brad_Spitts - Spitler

brain_drain - a Telegraph.co.uk pseudonym

@brendankiley - brendankiley

@Brentweets - Brent Smith ‏

@brettryland - Brett Ryland ‏

@bromethazine - whooping kafka ‏

@Bruce_Schneier - Bruce Schneier RSS

@brutalbird - Melicious ‏

@bulls_horns - TJ Alley

‏@burntmybagel - BagelGuy; Sparked_ ‏

@buttsamillion - burgers johnson

@BW - Businessweek

@ByeBlackbirdy - Emma ☮ ‏

@CaffeVita - Caffe' Vita

@calluptome - Craving

@CamillaFuhr - Camilla Fuhr ‏

‏@canadasandra - snowjob

‏@CapeTown_Girl - Alex van Tonder

‏@Carbosly - Carbosly

‏@carlawh - Carla Whaat

@caseorganic - Amber Case

‏@catholicmafia - Josephine

@cazzawndruh - cassandra; Cassandra

@ceejoyner - Ceej ‏

@charstarlene - char

@ChelseaVPeretti - Chelsea Peretti ‏

@chiefsanjay - Sanjay Arora

@ChiefTwittler - Chief Twittler; Chief Galia Mango

@CJFWeatherhead - Chris Weatherhead

@ChMadar - Chase Madar

@chuckpantalones - Charliepantzz ‏

‏@CindyMeakin - ~CINDY~ ‏

@ClassicMegan - The white Precious

@CodyLestelle - Cody Lestelle

@conor64 - Conor Friedersdorf ‏

‏@Cool_Jesse - Rainbow Brite

@CorComm - John Corbett ‏

@courtneyme109 - courtneyme109 ‏

@Coy0teUgly - CoyoteUgly

@cravenheart - Peter

@CuddlyNinja - Schrodinger's Dog

‏@cybertheorist - Jason

@cyclingsultan - AM

@cynicdoc - Sapien Life Form; Chronic Cynic ‏

@DaddyNick - Daddy Nick

@Dalton_NC - Dalton ‏

@DamienFahey - Damien Fahey ‏

@DanaJGould - Dana Gould

@DanSackheim - Dan Sackheim ‏

@dawn_com - Dawn Media Group

‏@DaxFrost - Dax Frost

@declanm - Declan McCullagh ‏

‏@defdanielle - Danielle

@DemJournal - Democracy Journal

@DepecheALAmode - Kyle H ‏

‏@DerHerrMueller - Herr Müller

@DesireMaze - Suruchi ‏

@DesolateCranium - Capt Obvious ‏

@devinleonard - devin leonard

@dgouldin - David Gouldin ‏

@DianaValerie - DianaValerie ‏

@DilliBelle - Namelass ‏

@DilliDurAst - Shivam Vij ‏

‏@DirtyMelodies - Angela J.

@Discourt - Courtney

@disneywords - Disneywords ‏

‏@djr_102 - Vanilla

@DLDConference - DLD Conference

@doingitwrong - Tim Maly

@DollyHumbert - cassie ‏

@Dorkstar - Dorkstar ‏

@DoucheMcBaggus - Douché!; D. McBaggus

@DrAwab - Awab Alvi ‏

@DrawingShadows - Matt ‏

@DreamExplosive - Stephanie Disaster ‏

@drmardy - Dr Mardy Grothe

@dropdeadchris - dropdeadchris

‏@DukeOfOyl - Earl

Durkee, Edward

@EchoOfIndia - Echo Of India

@echoVista - Jay ‏

@efyrtscw - Justin Sane

@Elizacal - Just E ‏

@elizaflemingbt - Eliza B-T ‏

@ellerybiddle - Ellery Biddle

@elonmusk - Elon Musk

@emirkr - emir ke.

@EpicureanDeal - Epicurean Dealmaker ‏

@epipheo - Epipheo

‏@Eric_Nikiforov - Eric

@EricaTheThor - Erica Thordarson ‏

@EricGlatt - Interns ≠ Free Labor

@ericjackson - Eric Jackson

‏@erickomans - Eric Komans

‏@ErrataRob - Robert David Graham

@EurasiaReview - Eurasia Review

@Exclusive001 - Bacon Ball ‏

‏@fadesingh - फेडसिंह

‏@faitherina - Faith E. Korpi

@FastCompany - Fast Company

‏@Fauxgyptian - Andy El-Zayaty

@felixcartal - FELIX CARTAL ‏

@finansakrobat - financial acrobat ‏

‏@Flrsi - Flrsi

@followdavehome - Erin Collopy ‏

@ForeignPolicy - Foreign Policy

@FussySaffa - Mrs Joshua Homme

@gab1g5 - DOLPHIN ‏

@gidget_76 - Gidget ‏

@Gizmo_1984 - Barry ‏

‏@gkjohn - Gautam John

@GloriaSteinem - Gloria Steinem

@Green_Footballs - Charles Johnson ‏

Greer, Germaine

@gregorylent - gregorylent ‏

@Gsquare86 - Gigi Ibrahim ‏

@GusHosein - Gus ‏

@gwencalvo - Gwen Calvo

@HallpassCanada - Steven Hall ‏

@hannahsatana - Viley Virus

@HappyHourJack - Jack

@Harpers - Harper's Magazine

@hblodget - Henry Blodget ‏

@heatherjs - Heather ‏

@Heckadecimal - Gosh Heck

@Hello_Bella - Bella ‏

‏@hintikka - Ana-Maria Popescu

@hpitlick - Helen Pitlick ‏

@HumaImtiaz - Huma Imtiaz ‏

Hunter, Murray

@hurlarious - Hurlarious ‏

@IAM_SHAKESPEARE - Willy Shakes ‏

@IAmAntilia - DAFT YOUR PUNK; IAmAntilia

@iamnotdiddy - iamnotdiddy

‏@ianbremmer - ian bremmer

@iheartSAM - Seattle Art Museum

‏@ImHopel3ss - ImNotEvilUAre

@imtellingmom - imtellingmom

@Inc - Inc.

@Info_Activism - Tactical Tech ‏

@InjusticeFacts - Injustice Facts

@isleofjenn - Jenn

@iSucheta - Sucheta

@ixakRubicon - Ixak ‏

@izrigrod - Chris

‏@jack - Jack Dorsey

‏@jazmasta - iJaz

‏@jdbratten - J. Bratten

@JDP8080 - Palm Dogg ‏

@jeff_haden - Jeff Haden

@jehan_ara - Jehan Ara

@Jenny4ashley - Queen Raspberry Jam ‏

@jennydeluxe - Jenna Wortham

@JermHimselfish - I Hate Jerm; Jerm Himselfish

@jimandrewsmusic - Jimmy B F D ‏

‏@JimGaffigan - Jim Gaffigan

@jk_rowling - J.K. Rowling

@jkresen - Julie Kresen; Julie Kresen Barnes ‏

@JMendenhall - Jacob Mendenhall ‏

‏@joeyhuggles - Mr. Hugglington Esq.; The White Nightmare

@johnmaeda - johnmaeda

‏@johnramirez - John David Ramirez

@johnregan12 - John R ‏

@jonahlehrer - jonahlehrer ‏

‏@JoseCanseco - Jose Canseco

@JoyPlaza - joy plaza

@JRehling - JRehling ‏

@Just_Alison - Alison Agosti

@jvbond014 - Jared Bondesson ‏

‏@kandibomber - Demon Kitten

@karachikhatmal - karachikhatmal ‏

‏@kashaziz - Kashif Aziz

‏@katy_baybay - Katybaby; PoisonedWellBaby

@KBellSays - Kirsty Ballard ‏

@kevin__allen - Kevin Allen

@KevinBabbles - Kevin M ‏

@kevnasto - Kevin CanadianBacon

@KimKierkegaard - KimKierkegaardashian ‏

@kimwilliamz - HeadSandwichMaker

@kishalay - kishalay b

‏@kitabikeeri - k.; anthro-apologist

@KlassyFucker - Klassy Fucker

@KPsych29 - UGotMe's Lil' Sis ‏

@kramediggles - alyssa k-diggles‏

@Kraz60 - Cindy K ‏

‏@KungFuBoobs - BaconBoobs

@kyriabeingbanal - Kyria Abrahams

@laaBLONDEEBBY - acid_dolphin.rad ‏

@LaBambaMcDoodle - McGoober ‏

‏@lacatchat - Catriona Soutar

@lafix - Laura

@lamIamlam - awful life lessens ‏

@lanyardtwerk - lanyard ‏

‏@lauxmyth - Martin Badke, CJL

‏@LaytesAgain - Laytes

@LBelle1 - Laura ‏

@Lea_Stephanie - Steph

‏@leechee420 - The Alicianator

@lejessica - Jessica

@Lilbyrdy - Lara (not Laura) ‏

‏@Lisabug74 - Lisabug BBQJones ‏

@literaryeric - Eric Nelson ‏

‏@littlekitnerboy - thatlittlekitnerboy

@lmirani - Leo Mirani ‏

@LordPalpatine - Emperor Palpatine

@love_shunt - Sir Kelleth

@M0sstr00per - Kevin Hughes ‏

@MadAxes - Madelene ‏

@madmanweb - Madhu Menon ‏

@MajorFlakes - MajorFlakes ‏

@MAKERSwomen - MAKERS

@MaliciaRogue - R ‏

@ManiasVoice - ManiasVoice

Martin, Judith

@martinvars - Martin Varsavsky

‏@Maryam_MAhmad - Pakimon

@MattElGato - Matt ‏

@mattingebretson - Matt Ingebretson ‏

@MauiLove917 - Sara ‏

@MazMHussain - Maz; Murtaza Hussain

@Medium - Medium

@meeowmaria - Megan Fox

@MeeraGhani - Meera Ghani ‏

@mellimelle - Mrs.Throbinson ‏

‏@mentalexotica - Mental Exotica

@MicahZenko - Micah Zenko ‏

@microMAF - Musharraf A. Farooqi

@miguel_mota - Moogs‏

@Mike_Wrong - Mike Wrong ‏

@MikeSchism - Mike Gabriel

‏@MikeyHill_ - Mikey Hill

@mikeym00n - Major McNipples

@mishakey - Misha BBQJones

@missingblakes - missingblakes ‏

@MmeLaCrooz - Madame La Crooz ‏

‏@mneylon - Michele Neylon

‏@moiragallaga - MOIRA GALLAGA

@Molly_Kats - molly

@Morros - morros

@mosharrafzaidi - Mosharraf Zaidi ‏

@moshekasher - Moshe Kasher ‏

Moss, Ann

@Mouthy_ - Muath ‏

@mpylayev - mariya pylayev ‏

@MrBigFists - Jonathan Sloan, Jonathan

@MrGeorgeWallace - George Wallace ‏

@MrMichaelSpicer - Michael Spicer ‏

@mrsnovocaine - Faye; Rosa

@MrT1M - Indicud ‏

@MrWordsWorth - Mark Campbell

@mybigblondelife - Hannah Elisabeth ‏

@MyDarkSide73 - Nevermind ‏

‏@mykola - mykola bilokonsky

‏@myracles - myr

@mysticsavage - Virginia Lore

@nadimgalal - Nadim Galal ‏

@nayele18 - Renee ‏

@nickbilton - Nick Bilton ‏

@NickyDico - Nicholas ‏

@nilanjanaroy - Nilanjana Roy ‏

@nirvana68 - eaton toomuchcrap

@nitabhalla - Nita Bhalla ‏

@noahkalina - Noah Kalina

@noahWG - Noah Gray ‏

@NoContextCosmo - Cosmo Out of Context ‏

@NorthernMagic - Northern Magic

@NoSpankYou - Fallen Angel

@Not_Zombie_Prey - Zombie, Interrupted

@Obscureskies - AAA ‏

@ohmadasahatter - Lynne Marie ‏

@OhNoSheTwitnt - OhNo$heTwitnt ‏

Oriya

@over_rated - Overrated Outcast ‏

@owlparliament - Lady Grey; Catch Adams

@patrishhhha - Leigh-Cheri ‏

‏@paulocoelho - Paulo Coelho

@PaulyPeligroso - Pauly Casillas

@peterbyrnes - Peter-john Byrnes

‏@peterjames48 - peterjames48

‏@Petey__E - Classic Pete

‏@pierre - Pierre Omidyar

@Pierre__4 - Pierre ‏

@Pink_Steel - Cherry Row

@PissMiggy_ - Tiffany Slaughter ‏

@plemur – Nick; Nick Alias Plemur

@PoppawSteve - Steve

@PoppyD - Poppy Dinsey ‏

‏@PORNOPINION - Not Hank Moody ‏

@pragmatistic - Vaibhav ‏

@PraxisUniversal - Praxis Universal

Prodromou, Evan

‏@pseudofauxme - michael

@PsychToday - Psychology Today

@pudding_club - sean o ‏

‏@QuantumSmartAss - Jay Dearhouse

@Quora - Quora

‏@Radhika_Khera - Radhika Khera

‏@Ramitology - Ramy El-Qady

@randomoracle - Cem Paya ‏

‏@randy_vanskike - #W123Boss

@raza - Raza Syed

‏@ReallyVirtual - Sohaib Athar

@RefractReality - Ice Ed ‏

@RegLevy - Reg Levy ‏

@Relocatable - Candidate #36; Relo

‏@remittancegirl - Remittance Girl

Remoquillo, Omar

@RexHuppke - Rex Huppke

@roberte3 - Robert Eickmann

‏@Roflindian - Rofl Indian

@roughtype - Rough Type

‏@RoySaunderson - Roy Saunderson

@RyanJJohn - Ryan J John ‏

@RyanKeith15 - Ryan Hager ‏

‏@RyanLizza - Ryan Lizza

@rydontcare - Ryanne

‏@saliltripathi - Salil Tripathi

@samalmightysam - Sam

‏@SarahMillican75 - Sarah Millican

@sardesairajdeep - Rajdeep Sardesai ‏

Sargeant, Emma

@SassyPantssss - Sassy

@sastrytumuluri - Sastry Tumuluri ‏

@Schroofles - Lisa ‏

@scottsimpson - Scott Simpson

@scrivenlking - Scriven King ‏

@scroll_in - scroll.in; Scroll.in

@SeanBlazed - Sean

@SeanEmeny - Sean Emeny ‏

@seanhussey - Sean Hussey

@SeattlePrivacy - Seattle Privacy

@senderblock23 - jon ‏

@SenRandPaul - Senator Rand Paul

@SenSanders - Bernie Sanders ‏

@SenWarren - Elizabeth Warren

‏@shadeheart - Bharat Joshi

@sherryrehman - sherryrehman ‏

‏@sheseemslegit - Sarah Bat; KittenPrincess

@ShirazHassan - Shiraz Hassan ‏

‏@shkeeber - Shkeeber

‏@Shock_Monster - John Solo

@sidin - Sidin Vadukut; Ozilin Mesutukut ‏

@SlllEM - Jim

@SmithsonianMag - Smithsonian Magazine

‏@Smooheed - RachS

@snickychick - snicky ‏

@SodomyClown - VICE VISCERA

‏@Spinchange - Chris

‏@sreemoytalukdar - Sreemoy Talukdar

@sruthijith - Sruthijith KK

@StellaRtwot - Ella or Denise; Denise

@StephenAtHome - Stephen Colbert ‏

@StephenWalt - Stephen Walt ‏

‏@sweet_toof - Jeffrey Brian

‏@tac0hell - Rachel

@takebackthetech - takebackthetech ‏

‏@teacherdude - Teacher Dude

@tech_pirate - Tech Pirate ‏

@TequilaTears - DR. Cork Killer

@texburgher - Geoff Barnes

@thatguyJA - JA ‏

@The_Sculptress - J

@thedailybeast - The Daily Beast

@TheDairylandDon - Don Nichols ‏

‏@thedesertgate - The Desert Gate

@TheHPQuotes - ϟHarry Potter Quotes

@thejamietighe - Jamie Tighe

@TheMainlandBlog - Mister 6 1/2 ‏

@themanwhofell - Greg

@TheMichaelRock - Michael Rock; Rock

@TheNewElement1 - Jason; J-SIN

@theNuzzy - david nuzzy nussbaum

@THEPokerWife - Sarah

@TheREALSaloSion - Salo Sion ‏

‏@TheRealSheldonC - Dr. Sheldon Cooper

‏@thespacewad - Spacewad

@thomas_violence - acidic jew ‏

@tigergreengrove - TheCaptn

‏@timescanner - TIMESCANNER

@TimothyJPratt - Timothy Pratt

‏@tinytittays - TinyTittays

@TomDispatch - TomDispatch

@tomfriedman - Thomas L. Friedman

@tonydokoupil - Tony Dokoupil

@tonyidigmusic - Gerardo Tony Mena ‏

@toomuchnick - Nick Douglas

@Toy_A - Toya

@trevortimm - Trevor Timm ‏

‏@trevso_electric - Trevor S

@TriemTeam - TriemTeam ‏

@TurboGrandma - Nikki Walter

@TwittGossipper - Twitt Gossiper

@UncleDynamite - Uncle Dynamite ‏

@UNTRESOR - Brandon Guttermouth; TheBrandonBee ‏

@urbandictionary - Urban Dictionary

@vivalacrap - Havana Hilary

@vmarinelli - Victoria Marinelli

@VoiceOfReason25 - VoiceOfReason ‏

‏@waitinthevan - Kristine

@warpedinxs - A.J. ‏

‏@warsan_shire - warsan shire

@WashAuthor - James Bamford

‏@wastingpaper - rachael

‏@weddady - weddady

‏@WeldPond - Chris Wysopal

@WhitneyCummings - Whitney Cummings

@WIRED - WIRED

@WolfbaneMahler - Doc Wolfbane ‏

@wsaqaf - Wsaqaf

@xeyednpainless - Gangbang Excalibur; Jackass Tozer

@XGreenTeam - GreenTeam ‏

@XoMiSsYoX - ɱissy ‏

@yaacovc - Yaacov Cohen

@YesitsAl - Yes It's Al ‏

‏@zegawky - Pedo Elephant

‏@zombot - ☣Undead☠Cyborg☢ ‏

‏@zooko - zooko

1.

@_CodyDavis - Cody Davis ‏

‏@_jennjenn - Princess Jennifer

@_just_tosha_ - NE_tosha ‏

@_kayditty - K-Ditty

@_sarcophagus - Wild Thing ‏

‏@_ShitNoOneSays_ - Shit No One Says

@_sleepysmile - Lisa ‏

@_srslainey - Lain Brain

@_TomBrady - Rob

@_wirepair - isaac ‏

@00example00

@12inch_vertical - Dave-O

‏@1Happytwit - Sheila

@1PrettyPeony - Fool

‏@1st_Disciple - Enter The Dragon

@4thquatrain - Adam Amsrud‏

‏@5ean5ullivan - Sean Sullivan

@5haners - Shane In The Ass ‏

@68_mad - Mark Dee

‏@7im - Tim Dickinson

@9600 - Andrew Back

@a_marshall_plan - Adam Marshall

@AaruC - Aarushi ‏

@AbbyHaglage - Abby Haglage

@ablaze - Jon Mitchell ๛

@abracarioca - Anna

Abrams, M.H.

@abrevi8 - Rowan Pettett

@abumuqawama - Andrew Exum ‏

@ACLU_WA - ACLU of Washington

@Acoyle33 - a-man-DUH ‏

@adambloomie2 - Adam Bloom

@adamhudson5 - Adam Hudson ‏

‏@adamlevine - Adam Levine

@AdamMGrant - Adam Grant

@adamochoa - adam

‏@adamthislife - Adam

‏@AdamWeinstein - Adam Weinstein

@Adar79Angie - AngieDavisheartspeen ‏

@AdrianChen - Adrian Chen ‏

@Afaf_TN - Afef Abrougui ‏

@AFLCIO - AFL-CIO

@AFP - Agence France-Presse

@ahundredmonkeys - A Hundred Monkeys ‏

@Aimee_B_Loved - Aimee B

‏@aishaghaly - Aisha Ghaly

@akaHoezy - Generous. ‏

‏@akchishti - akchishti

‏@akhtersfahmi - Akhter Fahmi

@AlamTanweer - M Tanweer Alam

@AlanHungover - Alan Garner ‏

@alaskadispatch - Alaska Dispatch

@Albela_Raahi - Muhammad Faizan

@alecbaldwin - AB

@alejanconnie - Connnnie Eskimo ‏

@ales_kot - Ales Kot ‏

@AlessioSgherza - Alessio Sgherza

@Alex_N_Chains - Alex in Chains

@alexblagg - Alex Blagg

‏@alexhern - Alex Hern

Ali, Zaid

@Alias1on1 - Rhona

@aliceschroeder - Alice Schroeder

@alinasmith - Alina Smith

@Alisaspeaks - A Bhattacharya ‏

@AlisonAgosti - Alison Agosti

‏@AllDayLLC - AllDay

‏@AllieTheOtherMe - AllisonChains

@AllInFunTX - Fucking Awesome ‏

@AllisonNazarian - Allison Nazarian

@Alllahdin - Aladdin!! ‏

@AllNewBMcD - MillHaus69 ‏

@AllTheUglyTruth - The Pretty Girl Swag‏

@allthingsd - AllThingsD

@allygucci - Ally ‏

@AlphaBelle - Joan

@alwayzintruble - ρяιη¢єѕѕ мαѕσ¢нιѕт ‏

@amaniwf - The Doc. ‏

‏@AmberTozer - AmberTozer

@Amelia_Draws - QueenOfConfuzzle ‏

@ameliemx - ameliemx

@americandialect - Am. Dialect Society

@amuirin - amuirin

@Anais_Lea90 - Fleur DeLea

@Anamore2011 - Morena ‏

@AncientProverbs

@andrewgutin - Andrew Gutin ‏

@andrewmonea - Andrew ‏

@andritweets - Andri Antoniades

@AndRyanTF - Ryan ‏

‏@andykhouri - Andy Khouri

@aneeshvkoshy - aneesh v koshy

@Angela8912 - Angela

@angelablack - angela black

@AngelaEhh - Angela

‏@angleofattack - Josh

@Angryman_UK - Angryman_UK

@ANI_news - ANI

@AnisRakter - Anis Chenta ♥ ‏

@anjadrisch - Anja Drisch ‏

‏@anjeanettec - Anjeanette Carter

@Annaleen - Annalee Newitz

@Annekinns - Annee ‏

Anon at DLD 2013.

Anonymous anarchist in a conversation on 4 May 2014.

Anonymous gallery guide, Seattle, 5 January 2014.

Anonymous rock musician in Caffé Vita, Capitol Hill, Seattle.

Anonymous sculptor

Anonymous techie interviewed in Seattle, 2013.

@AnonyOps - Anonymous ‏

@ANOPRAX - Audrey ‏

@anthonypermal - Anthony Permal

‏@AntiCelebrity - Anti-Celebrity

‏@AnupamPkher - Anupam Kher

@apatheticist - Jason Stillbourne

‏@Apdirtybird - ACD

‏@AphroditeAfter5 - Super Girl

‏@Applepuke - cool apple

@ArboretumFound - Arboretum Foundation

@ArchisMohan - Archis Mohan

@arcynta - Arcynta Ali Childs

@aRealLiveGhost - kimmy ‏

@aredridel - Aria Stewart ‏

‏@AreYouSaif - Saif Ali

‏@ariannahuff - Arianna Huffington

‏@ArifCRafiq - Arif Rafiq

@ArriannaMarie - Proteas & Magnolias ‏

@Arrogant_Twat - Arrogant Twat ‏

@arstechnica - Ars Technica

@Asrojuan - ♥Maggie for Margaret

@ASYusuf - Ahmed Urooj-Yusuf

@attackerman - Spencer Ackerman

@AurashKhawarzad - Aurash Khawarzad

‏@austinkleon - Austin Kleon

@AuthenticWmGibs - Authentic Wm. Gibson ‏

@awesomeseank - Sean Let Me Help

@AwhDiddyTweets - Mudder Fucker ‏

@awryaditi - Aditi Mittal ‏

@awryone - Josh Donoghue

@Aya_Mahmoud - Aya Mahmoud ‏

@AyazAhmad001 - Ayaz Ahmad ‏

@BackToDust - Rough Hands

‏@Bacon_Ball - Bacon Ball

@BaconBoobs - Miss ‏

@BAHjournalist - Brian A. Hernandez

@bailey - Bailey Siewert

@BaileysIrishTom - Tom ‏

@Bananapaper - Tim Kreider

Bangladeshi

@Batorichka - Samantha ‏

@batsly - Shane! ‏

Bauer, Peter Thomas; 1915–2002

@baycontaco - bacon taco ‏

@BBCory - BB Cory

@BBCtrending - BBC Trending

@BBCWorld - BBC News (World)

@bbprobably - Team Blah

@BDUTT - barkha dutt ‏

@BeanFoxx - Bridgette ‏

@beckam_pit_kid - kristian.chuck

@BeenToHellPal - HeavensQuiteAClimb ‏

@BeerBatterBeard - Tyler

@bellawonder - Wonder Russell

Bellow, Saul

‏@Ben_Maguire - Ben

@bencnn - benwedeman

@Benjamin4501 - Just_Ben_

@BenjaminCousins - Ben Cousins

@benwizner - Ben Wizner ‏

@BeRealBlack4Me - Necessary Blackness ‏

@Berryhillj - John Berryhill ‏

@bertnews - Bert News ‏

@bessyvegas - Bessy

‏@betowmx - Beto W.

‏@BevisSimpson - Tony homo

@bfriend - Bob Friend

@BGR - BGR

@bgzimmer - Ben Zimmer

@BhopalHouse - Faiza S Khan

‏@Bill_Gross - Bill Gross

@BillGates - Bill Gates

@bintfilm - Nicole Ballivian

@biolawyer - JP

@Birdo_Bloom - Timbojangals

@birdofyouth - bird of youth ‏

@BitchyMcTits - Sugar Tits

‏@bitterlittleman - Bitter Little Man

@BittersweetJane - BittersweetJane ‏

@blairblends - Dr. Taco

‏@BlairLoudly - Blair, Loudly

@BLAST_Manifesto - BLAST

@blaudiablogan - Claudia Cogan ‏

@Blind_Brian - Brian ‏

‏@BlitznBeans - aaron blitzstein

@BlogsofWar - Blogs of War ‏

@blondecalamity - Blonde Calamity ‏

@BloombergNews - Bloomberg News

@BloombergView - Bloomberg View

Blume, Harvey

‏@BoardofWisdom - The Board of Wisdom

@boell_stiftung - HeinrichBöllStiftung

@bohemianfaith - Faith B. ‏

@BoingBoing - Boing Boing

@Boleyngirly - Michèle ‏

@BoloBhi - Bolo Bhi ‏

@bonisteel - Steven Bonisteel

‏@bonita_218 - Bonita

‏@Bonoboism - Bonoboism

@Bookgirl96 - Kathleen Schmidt ‏

@Bookwiser - Dr. Desdemona

@BootsieTweets - BootsieTweets

@bossy_boots99 - Claudia ‏

@BostonGlobe - The Boston Globe

‏@Bottle_of_Death - kaonashi

@bouncingblonde - Bouncing Blonde

@bourbonmelikey - Jennifer; Bourby McBourbon

@BoweKnows - Travis Bowe

@BradBroaddus - Brad Broaddus

Bradbury, Ray; 22 August 1920 – 5 June 2012

@BrainSeducer - Ahmed ‏

‏@brandsrock - Mike Joubert

@BrendanSasso - Brendan Sasso

@brendonwalsh - Brendon Walsh

@BrianGGibbs - 1366

‏@brianoleary - Brian O'Leary

@brookethehammer - Brooke T Jennings

Brooks, Max

@BrothMan_BEEF - Bieber-Meinhoff gang ‏

Brown, Bob

@brucebastarache - Bruce Bastarache ‏

@BruceFeiler - Bruce Feiler

@bruces - Bruce Sterling

Brunskill, Jonathan

@bug_hugs - lauren

@Bunnydurden - Kim Farrell ‏

@businessinsider - Business Insider

@Busocco - Dang ‏

@Butchhuff - Butch huff ‏

@buzzbishop - Buzz Bishop ‏

@bwreedbgr - Brad Reed

@ByteForByte - Joseph Akbrud ‏

@Calestous - Calestous Juma ‏

@Cali_Kid_Mike - Mike Rafone ‏

@campsucks - Jenni Konner

@canadian_jane - BIG BERTHA

@CanadianCheri - selfproclaimedmuse ‏

Canazza (1428553) on @slashdot

@CanbeLonely - Their Dad ‏

@candrews on Identi.ca; Craig Andrews

@CandyCrisis - Candy Crisis

@capitalweather - Capital Weather Gang ‏

@carlinf - Carlin Flora

@carlopiana - Carlo Piana

@cathjam - Catherine James ‏

Cathryn - comment poster on TechCrunch

@catlikethiefx0 - Amanda Kylie ‏

@CavedInwards - Caved Inwards ‏

@CBSThisMorning - CBS This Morning ‏

@cchukudebelu - Mwalimu; Onye Nkuzi

@cdixon - Dixon, Chris

‏@cdncyn - mwlredie

@CelebYouTaunt - Randolph Duke

@centrepompidou - CentrePompidou

@cervixsmash - UHH ‏

@CFR_org - CFR

@Channel11News - Channel11News

‏@Channel4 - Channel 4

@ChanSteele - Chandra Steele ‏

@charlierose - Charlie Rose

Cheema, Amar

@Cheeseboy22 - Abe

‏@Chel__CLE - SeaChel

@ChemBtwnUs - ChemFickenDammt

@chemingineer - K.Sahasranaman

ChicagoBob on @HuffingtonPost

‏@Chicken_Hawk38 - Carlos

@chileanwinter - Jonathan Franklin

@chinchillasex - rosalia ‏

@chinkis - Chinki Sinha

@chitenniscoach - _fuzzy_balls

@chocolakai - Gary Mastron

Chödrön - Pema

‏@Chris1966 - Chris Linthwaite

@chrisbrogan - Chris Brogan

@chrismessina - Chris Messina™

@christiannetag - christi taggart ‏

@christianrudder - Christian Rudder

@chrisviccaro - Christopher Viccaro ‏

@ciopk - CIO Pakistan ‏

‏@Citibank - Citibank

@CitzenAlex - Lucas Ginn

@cjchivers - C.J. Chivers ‏

‏@cjschaefer - Cameron Schaefer

@ckaratnytsky - ChristineKaratnytsky ‏

@ClakeBent - BCK ‏

@claire_mudie - Claire Mudie ‏

Clarke, Arthur C.

@ClashBang - Liza Clashington ‏

@claychristensen - Clayton Christensen ‏

@ClearlysSister - Clearly's Sister ‏

@clevelanddotcom - Clevelanddotcom

@CloserProds - Carlos Montiel

@cluedont - cluedont

‏@Cmdr_Hadfield - Chris Hadfield

@CMPLY - CMP.LY

@CNET - CNET

@CoachLee - Leanne Hoagland-Smith

@CoatCzech - Steve Demitra ‏

@codebutler - Eric Butler ‏

‏@cognited - Kay

Cohen, Richard

‏@coldlippdheresy - Jenna Violence

‏@Colinfreeze - Colin Freeze

@comedyfish - comedyfish ‏

@ComedyOfJonesy - Comedy of Jonesy

@conanobrienswyf - Meg Abbitch

@Condre3000 - Connor ‏

@ConorTripler - Conor Tripler ‏

@coracurrier - Currier, Cora

@CordeliaHeb - Hebblethwaite, Cordelia

@CorruptConcrete - Raj

@cosmictits - روح

@courteneyh - Courteney Hocking ‏

@CrackedIllusion - Pedro ‏

@craigtimberg - Craig Timberg

@CranberryPerson - Jason

@crayan9 - Rayan. ‏

@craydrienne - Adrienne Airhart ‏

@crazylikeanox - Angry Angry Hippos‏

@crispycracka - Christy Ann

@Crosscut - Crosscut

@CroweJam - JD Crowe

@Cryptomeorg - Cryptome

‏@cryptopchick - Stephers

@CTVNews - CTVNews

@ctvottawa - CTV Ottawa ‏

@CueballHead - Michael ‏

‏@Cuntemplate - Greta Clue

‏@cupcakesnsimone - Simone van Buuren

@CuriouslyWander - E Simpson

@curlymalloy - vaudeville vamp

‏@CurvyCrumpet - Delicious Ms Dee!

@cyanidecynic - Original Cyn ‏

@CynicalJess - Jessica

@cynicanoldicus - Paul ‏

@cynicuhl - Chronic Cynic ‏

@CyriaqueLamar - Cyriaque Lamar

‏@D_healer - DONNA

@d88pdive - Amar Mahboob ‏

@DadBeard - This is Rice

@DadsAwake - Mike

@Daily_Express - Daily_Express

@DailyKerouac - Daily Kerouac ‏

@DalaiLama - Dalai Lama ‏

@damnjustkelly - Kelly ♈ ‏

‏@dangillmor - Dan Gillmor

@dannydogmouth - DannyDogMouth ‏

@DannyMcH2O - Brother Rabbit ‏

@DareDarilyn - Dare ‏

‏@Darek - darek

@DarthBash - Darth Bash

‏@DarthNull - David Schuetz

‏@daveaitel - daveaitel

@daveanthony - daveanthony

@DaveTheAlbino - Dave ‏

@davetotheross - Dave Ross ‏

@david_liebehart - David Liebe Hart

@DavidBCollum - Dave Collum ‏

@davidblairdt - David Blair

@DavidForbes - David Forbes

@davidisnotright - David

‏@DavidKlein5 - David Klein

@dbhaglund - David Haglund

@dbmoore - Dennis Moore ‏

@ddefraia - Daniel DeFraia

@debraso - Debra Ollivier

@Deconile - Guess

@deepd1ve - Amar X ‏

@deepersreport - Denise Puga ‏

@DefeatedDiva - Defeated Diva; Jamie Holcomb

@DelhiDean - Dean Nelson

@DelhiDurbar - Delhi Durbar

Demarais, Ann

@demi_md7 - Demi

Depp, Johnny

‏@depreciated - Chipster

@desi_princess - Desi Princess

@DesignUXUI - Design UX/UI ‏

‏@devincf - Devin Faraci

@dexton7 - dexton7 ‏

@dharmesh - Dharmesh Shah

@dickc - dick costolo

@dictionarycom - Dictionary.com

@DieLaughing - J. Adam Moore

‏@diemnstr - Brandon Ivers

@dirkiseun - Dirk Agenbag ‏

@Dirty_Naomi - YourThighness ‏

@DirtyPoncho - Eric ‏

@DirtyPreston - Preston Olson ‏

@discomaulvi - AlyB

@Disiam - the Illusion ‏

@DisneyPixar - Disney•Pixar

@distributedcog - Conatus ‏

@DitaVonTeese - Dita Von Teese

@ditzkoff - Dave Itzkoff

@DivorceDiva - divorce diva ‏

@dixiedarlin_RN - Kat ‏

‏@DJhouseNigga - Hoodrat

@DocBrown21 - Ryan Brown ‏

@Doctrine_Man - Doctrine Man

@Dog_Marriage - a frandly ghost

@dolanster - Tom Dolan

‏@dolarhyde - Greg Russell

@domAlvares - Dominic Alvares ‏

@domesticH - freckle face ‏

@DosieDoe - Dosie'sRandomThought

@DoubtTommy - DoubtingThomas ‏

@DougSaunders - Doug Saunders

@Dove - Dove

@dozba - Ted Dziuba ‏

@DrCowboyBlog - David Grey

@DreamersWake - Kyle; Kyle Wake

@DrSalmanAsif - Salman Asif

@DrTwittenheimer - Dr. Twittenheimer

@DrunkSocialite - Brendan Jaharis

@drvdiller - Vivian Diller, Ph.D.

‏@dtipson - Drew Tipson

@DumbNOTDeaf - Kyle

@dvoted_hubsand - ULTRA HEART COMBO

‏@dypriyank - Priyank

@DzirhanDefence - Dzirhan Mahadzir ‏

@e_flux - e-flux

@e_Rodriguez_ - eRod ‏

@Eagle_Vision - Eagle Vision

@EarningsScout - The Earnings Scout ‏

@earthboundandbw - Lise

@Easy_Tiger__ - Easy Tiger

‏@eatmywords - Eat My Words

@EBernsteinWSJ - Elizabeth Bernstein

@ebertchicago - Roger Ebert

@edshow - Ed Schultz

@EdwinaCrumple - Cindy ‏

@edwlynchcm - EDW Lynch

@EEPublishing - E&E Publishing, LLC

@EFF - EFF

@EhhBartt - Angela ‏

@Elifcello - Elif Celet

Elijah of the Riseup Collective, @riseupnet

@EliseRose5 - Mediocre Marvel ‏

‏@ElizaBayne - Eliza Bayne

@ella__fraser - Ella Fraser ‏

@ElliottBayBooks - Elliott Bay Book Co.

@EmeraldClitty - Emmy

@emiliawrites - Emily Manuel ‏

‏@emzbulletproof - emzbulletproof

@equalitytrust - The Equality Trust

@Eric_Bader - Eric Bader ‏

Erichsen, Gerald

@ErikLoomis - Erik Loomis ‏

@ericrice - Eric Rice ‏

@ericroest - Eric Roest

@ericsshadow - Loco Eric ‏

‏@erinmcunningham - Erin Cunningham

@erintothemax - Erin Matson ‏

‏@Eris - Eris Stassi ‏

@erlsn - Errolson Hugh

@errows - Atul Dev

@ErsatzMoe - Moe

@EsraaMamdu7 - Esraa Mamdouh

@EssBarraclough - Simon Barraclough ‏

euangray

@EvilPandaX – E. Panda X ‏

‏@evo8X8 - da vincian

@ExcuseMeMandi - Amanda Awesomeness ‏

@expertetiquette - Lyudmila Bloch

@EyeKaDoctor - Eye Doctor

@F5X11 - Gym ‏

@fabiana_sofia - Fabiana Sofia Perera

@faisalqureshi - Faisal Qureshi ‏

@FakeMe__ - Fake Me ‏

@FakeMe4Ever - Joe Fake ‏

@Faking_Art - Ashe DeTartaros ‏

@Fallun_Angel - Fallun Angel ‏

@farhanmasood - Farhan Masood

‏@farihaak - Fariha Akhtar

@fart - jon hendren ‏

@fartlambrusco - fart lambrusco

‏@fasi_zaka - Fasi Zaka

@FAT_Pak - FAT Official ‏

‏@FatalDalliance - Squidney

Fawcett, Brian

@feetoclay - Clay

Fenwick - Millicent

@FierceMess - Mrs. Me ‏

@FillWerrell - Fill Werrell ‏

@filthyenabler - Filthy Enabler ‏

@FINALLEVEL - ICE T

‏@finkd - Mark Zuckerberg

@fionaeleanor_

@firasatdurrani - Firasat Durrani ‏

‏@Firawesome - Firas Alola

@flamingfapper - Mr.Fap

‏@flannel_toilet - colin_toilet

@flores8047 - Diane ‏

@florica - Florica Vlad

‏@flowchainsensei - Bob Marshall

Francis

@Frankie_Val - Castor Fucking Troy

@Fredzipfel - Fred Zipfel ‏

@freedlander - David Freedlander

@FreedomWorks - FreedomWorks

@FrenchOnionDipp - ⇐RageKage⇒; TheReal KG™

‏@freshestginger - LL Cool Tay

‏@fridaykickbox - Tracy ;) ‏

@FT - Financial Times

@ftrain - Paul Ford ‏

‏@Fucking_Randy - Fucking Randy

@FUCKIPEDIA - Fuckery Tweets

@fucktyler - Tyler, The Creator ‏

‏@fullblowndave - Dickhole. ‏

@funnyoneliners - Funny One Liners

@FuriousDShow - Duncan MacMaster ‏

@FurryCanary - Huw Parker ‏

‏@fursid - FurSid

@GabbbarSingh - Gabbar singh ‏

@ganjuanshika - Anshika Ganju

@Gartenberg - Michael Gartenberg ‏

@GaryMarcus - Gary Marcus

@garyvee - Gary Vaynerchuk

@gawsh - gawsh ‏

@GBELKIN1 - Gary Belkin ‏

@GeneHealy - Gene Healy ‏

@georgebradt - George Bradt

‏@Georgecocksman - George Cocksman

@ggharpham - geoffrey harpham

Ghumman, Khawar

@gigglegirlnoel - Maddie ‏

Gilbert, Jack

@Gina_Rochelle - Gina Bobina ‏

@GinaRitter - Gina Ritter ‏

@Ginlicker - J 1chik2cups‏

@girlweena - Mrs. Grinch; Wendina M. Ubaghs

@girlwithatail - erin whitehead

@GizSalAli - ♥ Salisha ♥ ‏

@gkhamba - Khamba

@Gladwell - Gladwell

@GlendaRoseMcGee - Glenda Rose ‏

‏@GlennyRodge - GlennyRodge

@globalvoices - Global Voices

@glyph - glyph

@gneicco - Dave

@God_Damn_Batman - The Batman

‏@GOINGPOSTAL66 - Buck Naked

@goodtimenoel - Noel Sirmer

@GoodyBrains - Liz, Queen of Cheese

@GovChristieNJ - Gov. Chris Christie ‏- parody acct.

@grahamclark - grahamclark

@GrammarMonkeys - Grammar Monkeys

@greenberg - Ryan Greenberg ‏

Greenfield, Susan

‏@greenfield64 - Jeff Greenfield

@GreenLikeCash - Green Like Cash

@GregBensinger - Greg Bensinger

‏@GregMitch - Greg Mitchell

@GregorMacdonald - Gregor Macdonald ‏

@GregortheMendel - Gregor Mendel ‏

@gregpmiller - Greg Miller

Greif, Mark

‏@GreyAlchemy - S to the R

@Grimeandreason - Ben King ‏

@grimpossible - Grim ‏

‏@gripegal - Lynzie

@grreporter - grreporter

@gruber - John Gruber

@grynbaum - Mike Grynbaum

@GSElevator - GS Elevator Gossip

@Gulzaibchaudary - Gulzaib Chaudary ‏

@Guo42 - Guo ‏

Gupta, Siddhartha

Gupta, Sunil Kumar

@guyarmitage - Guy Armitage

‏@GuyEndoreKaiser - Guy Endore-Kaiser

@GuyKawasaki - Guy Kawasaki

@moniguzman - Mónica Guzmán

‏@gwatts77 - Fuckin Bob

@gwenstefani - Gwen Stefani

@h0oV - chris hoover ‏

@haaretzcom - Haaretz.com

@habib_b - Habib Battah ‏

‏@hahussain - Hussain AbdulHussain

@Hakimyasin - Abdelhakim Abuyasin ‏

@Haleys_Hell - Haleys_Hell

Hamilton, Ann

@hamlet2b - hamlet2b ‏

‏@Hamster41 - Hamster

@HansRosling - Hans Rosling

@happy_heatherrr - Heather Feather

‏@happygodrink - happy ‏

Harrison, Sarah

@Harlequin_L - ♠♥♦♣ ‏

‏@hasham2 - Hasham Malik

@HayesBrown - Hayes Brown

Haynes, David

‏@HeartOnSleeve99 - Hot Mess

@heatherlarson77 - The One & Only ‏

@heatherrrrr95 - heather gooch.

@hechingerreport - The Hechinger Report

@heidiknits - heidi ‏

@helenleelin - Helen Lee Lin, Ph.D.

@hell_doe - ☠ lil helly ☠ ‏

@hell_homer - hell_homer ‏

@HenryCPorter - henry porter

‏@HeraldofWar - Corvus Coronoides

@HerNameIsMud - Mud ‏

@HerPinkRibbons - Pinky

@HeyAmie - Amie ‏

@heyfeifer - Jason Feifer

@HeySamantha - Sam Murphy Kelly

@HeyZeus666 - Hey Zeus ‏

‏@hidingfromme - Charmed & Dangerous

@HiHighHigher - HiHighHigher ‏

@hilaryosborne - hilaryosborne

@HillaryClinton - Hillary Clinton

‏@Hirahjavaid - Hirah Javaid

@Hkesvani - Hussein Kesvani ‏

@HMATomFletcher - Tom Fletcher ‏

@hobo_hands - ferg ‏

@Hobopornstar - Charlie ‏

‏@HolgateEnd - Arik Poscoe

‏@HollaKBayBay - Kerry, maybe

@HollingworthP - Paul Hollingworth ‏

@holmesdm - David Holmes ‏

‏@honeybadgerMel - Melicious

@HoneyUnhinged - Honey B.

@honorikendall - Honor Kendall

@hoopahoep - Manon ‏

@Horse_ebooks - Horse ebooks ‏

@hot_spunk - Justin Bukkake

@Hotindallas - Hot in Dallas

‏@howtogeek - Lowell Heddings

@HRazaPK - Hassan Raza ‏

@hrw - Human Rights Watch

@htTweets - Hindustan Times

Hughes, Robert Studley Forrest

@HughesYordadi

@hughlaurie - Hugh Laurie ‏

Hymes, Brandon

@IamDonCheadle - Don Cheadle

@iamlaurynn - Much Afraid

‏@iammaylynn - Your Amy

@IAmSamW - Samantha Wright ‏

@IanEdwardsComic - Ian Edwards ‏

@IanJamesFM - Ian Mortimer

@iansample - Ian Sample

‏@IanWearsPants - IanWearsPants

‏@Ibex67 - Doe, a deer

@ibnlive - CNN-IBN News

@icehead13 - LascIvIous ‏

‏@iD0NtknOwZeR0 - iZeR0mE

@IdStandOnThat - Mike Lowry

‏@igmurray - IsaJennie

@IGN - IGN

@ignitesea - Ignite Seattle

‏@iGreenMonk -╠ мя.мσик ╣

@illuminatedwndr - Illuminated Mind ‏

@imabbylouise - 20th Century Fox ‏

@imagine_vegas - Yogurt Slinger ‏

@imchriskelly - Chris Kelly

@iMelbel - It's Mel-o-dy, bitch

@ImKevinito - Kevinito

@Immoralchurch - Amanda Johnson

@ImNotMegan1 - Megaboo

@In_Brook_Vegas - The Smoking Stripper ‏

@indefensible - Indefensible

@Independent_ie - Independent.ie

@indiatvnews - India TV

@IndieClaws - Independent_Claws ‏

@indigo_sky360 - Indigo Sky ‏

‏@inklake - Peter Kaufman

@IntFedAgeing - IntFedAgeing

@inthefade - Michele Catalano

@InVisiHole - M. Holes.

@io9 - io9

@Ipsita_Shome - Ipsita Shome

@IraByock - Ira Byock

@IrisBlasi - Iris Blasi ‏

@IrrationalGF - IrrationalGirlfriend

@ISaidDont - Kelly T

@Isitthattime - Isitthattime ‏

@ispreview - Mark Jackson

@itsthatAsh - Ash

@IvetaCherneva - Iveta Cherneva ‏

@Iyer_z - M.I **

‏@iyerdeepshri - Deepshri Iyer

@jackseale - Jack Seale ‏

@JacquesTristan - JTM ‏

@JaeMar68 - Jae Stoner ‏

‏@Jake_Barton - Jake Barton

@jakec

@jaltucher - James Altucher

@jamesrbuk - James Ball

@jamestaranto - James Taranto

@Jamster - JAMSTER

@janeofearth - Monica Thomas ‏

@janeygodley - Janey Godley

@janl - Jan Lehnardt ‏

@japaSBC - (japa) ‏

@JaredBaral - Jared Baral

@jas508 - Julie

@jaslakhmna - Naughty but nice... ‏

@jason_howerton - Jason Howerton

@jason_pontin - Jason Pontin ‏

@JasonFritz1 - Jason Fritz ‏

@JasonMata1 - ☆ Mata ☆

@jasonmustian - Jason Mustian

‏@jasonnolan - Jason Nolan

@jasonsegel - Jason Segel

@jatingandhi - jatin gandhi ‏

@Jay1972Jay - Jay

‏@jaylyall_red5 - Jason Lyall

@jayonguitar - jayonguitar

@JazzerStace - Staci ‏

‏@jazzminus - ♦QUEEN♦OF♦DIAMONDS♦ ‏

@jbrittholbrook - J Britt Holbrook

@jbrkam - John Kamin

@jcinis - Jessey White-Cinis‏

@jclanoe - JC

@JCRNEWS - JCR

@jdebelak - Jamela Debelak

@jeffemanuel - Jeff Emanuel ‏

‏@jeffgladstone - jeff gladstone

@JeffreyGoldberg - Jeffrey Goldberg

@Jennco_W - jenncow

@jenniematthew - Jennie Matthew ‏

@Jennifergr8 - Jennifer is me ‏

@JenniferSertl - Jennifer Sertl

@jennyandteets - Jenny Mollen

@JenShahade - Jennifer Shahade

@jenuinehealing - Jenuine Ward

@jenvalentino - Jennifer Valentino

@JerseyShell1 - Jerzey Bitch!‏

‏@JesselynRadack - Jesselyn Radack

@JessSmellsLike - Jess Spherics ‏

@JessWeiner - Jess

@jezebelsbody - jez

@jferg1616 - Fergy ‏

@JGoldburn - Goldburn

@JGRXXN - Lil Skinny Mane Junt

‏@jhaque_ - Jahanzaib Haque

@JibbyD - Jibby ‏

@JillMorris - Jill Morris

@jimkinkade - Jim Kinkade

@jimsilveresq - Jim Silver

@jkrambles - Miz Jules

@jkrums - Jānis Krūms

@jleyden - John Leyden

@jmalthus - Jesse Malthus ‏

@JMFingSparks - JMFingSparks

@jnglwzrd - frog name jongol ‏

@joaomatthews_ - João Matthews

‏@jochocoloco - Jo

@joelandren - Joel Andren ‏

@joelebean - JoelEBean ‏

@John_Hudson - John Hudson

@johndurant - John Durant

@JohnEkdahl - John Ekdahl, Jr. ‏

@johnmdonnelly - John M. Donnelly

‏@JohnnyArgent - Johnny Argent

@JohnPRG - John Rae-Grant

@jokerbc67 - Joe Lewallen

@jon_jeckell - Jonathan Jeckell ‏

@Jones4410 - Kevin Jones

@JonnieMarbLes - Jonnie Marchbles ‏

@jonnycooper - Jonny Cooper ‏

@jonrussell - Jon Russell

@JordyHamrick - Jordan

@joseisadeadman - Jose Rivera ‏

@Joseph__Carter - Joseph Carter ‏

@joseph_ocon - joseph ocon

@JosephEStiglitz - Joseph E. Stiglitz

@JosesLovesYou - Joses Martin ‏

@Josh - Josh Lowensohn

@joshcomers - Josh Comers ‏

@JoshConstine - Josh Constine

@JoshDKock - Josh De Kock

‏@joshgiersch - Josh Giersch

‏@joshingstern - Josh Stern

@JoshMalina - Joshua Malina

@joshmillard - Josh Millard

@journalisthasan - Hasan Abdullah ‏

@jovial_evil - JovialEvil ‏

‏@Js_Dark_Reality - Js_Dark_Reality

‏@jtrulez - JT2daExtreme

‏@jtswhipped - John Taylor; John Wayne Gaysee

‏@Junk_Boat - JB

‏@just_evolved - GovtTookMaBaby

@justinhayward - Justin Hayward

‏@JustTashie - probably sleeping

@jwildeboer - jwildeboer ‏

@jwpennebaker - James W Pennebaker

@jyarmis - Jonathan L. Yarmis ‏

@ka_unplugged - Indian Cartman

@kafila - Kafila

Kagan, Shelly

@KandAFilms2 - Alex Collett ‏

@kanikagahlaut - Kanika Gahlaut ‏

@KaranBaluja - Karan Baluja ‏

@karimatos1 - Karim Magdy ‏

@KarinaCodex - Karina Galvan ‏

@KarlRove - Karl Rove

@kat_chastain - Kat Chastain

@kat_the_crap - Kat Petines ‏

@Kate_Goldsmith - Kate Goldsmith

‏@kateward - Kate Ward

‏@katiebrookss - Katie Brooks

@katniiip - Elaina ‏

@kattcalls

@kawrage - /kaw·reɪdʒ/ ‏

@KayKayLV - Katie Kenney ‏

@KaysNH - Kay ‏

@kdotrunsthis - kdot ‏

@kdrum - Kevin Drum

@kdykstra20 - Kyle Dykstra ‏

‏@KeenanMulvaney - keenan

Kellewood, Tyrone

@kellyskelly - Kelly Shannon Kelly✩‏; Kelly Kelly✩

@Kendragarden - Kendra Kringle ‏

@kenfisher - Ken Fisher ‏

‏@KennyVee - Kenny Vee

@KenSofer - Ken Sofer

@KentTheG - Kent G. ‏

@kevinmitdick - Kevin Mitnick - parody acct.

‏@kevinmitnick - Kevin Mitnick

@kevinpurdy - Kevin Purdy

‏@kevinrowe1 - Yes deer

‏@kevinwinter - Kevin Winter

@KhizM - Khizra ‏

@khoury_nabeel Nabeel Khoury

‏@KimDotcom - Kim Dotcom

@KimKardashian - Kim Kardashian

@kingdomofwench - Wench ‏

@Kingsroc - Octopus Rock ‏

@kiostark - Kio Stark

@kirbstr - kirbstr ‏

@kirstenstubbs - Kirsten Stubbs

@kjmeow - kelly ‏

Klub der Wiener Kaffeehausbesitzer

@KneelAtTheWhy - Broons Bane

‏@KnightAndDre - Fares

@knittingninja00 - cynthiazepamOverdose ‏

@kobebryant - Kobe Bryant

@kolchak - The Night Stalker

@Koquettish - Kony Chatterjee ‏

Kramer, Steven

@KriddyE - Krissy ‏

@KrishnHelpIndia - KrishnaDas

@KristieKenney - Kristie Kenney

‏@Kritzwit - SpasticSkittle

@kshitijmjha - Kshitij M Jha ‏

@ksieff - ksieff

Kubrick, Stanley

@Kudcia

@KUOW - KUOW

@KuperSimon - Simon Kuper

‏@kurtopsahl - Kurt Opsahl

@kwilliams101 - Kayla Williams ‏

@l1zerd - Rock

@LadyJ3000 - Jennifer Turner

‏@LadyOphelia12 - ♔She Icarus♔

‏@LaFuzzyNoir - La Fuzz

@laishaun - Shaun Lai ‏

‏@Lakeoconeebldr - Saint Gordon

‏@LameesAbaza - Lamees Abaza

@Lanesbrew - A

@LanguageLog - Language Log

@latimes - Los Angeles Times

@Laughbook - Laugh!

@LaughingSquid - Laughing Squid

@LauraKingLAT - Laura King

‏@laurarbx - Laura Rucker

@LaurenRP - LaurenRP

@laurensamsmith - Lauren S Smith

@Lavenderpants - Lavender

‏@lchamberlin - Luke Chamberlin

@Le_Voyageur_ - Louis Riel

@Leadershipfreak - Dan Rockwell ‏

@Leggalicious - Tiffany ‏

@legind - William Budington ‏

‏@LegionsMind - ☜☆☞Legion☜☆☞

‏@LeiaMarieG - Leia

@lenadunham - Lena Dunham ‏

@lesleycowley - Lesley Cowley ‏

@leslietaylor8 - Leslie Taylor

@lettatayler - Letta Tayler

‏@levie - Aaron Levie

Levy, David

@LexiconBranding - Lexicon Branding

@lexxieviolin - Penny Lane; Lexie

@LilFlaOrange30 - Wonder Woman ‏

@LilyDPenha - Lily D'Penha

@Lina18 - Lina Ejeilat

‏@lindsaylohan - Lindsay Lohan

Linebaugh - Heather

@lishybee - Alisha

‏@LissaGreene13 - Melissa Greene

@Little___Sister - Little Sister ‏

@littleidea - Andrew Clay Shafer

@LittlePegAMcKay - Katie ‏

@litramarie - *Literally* ‏

‏@lizetagge - Lize Tagge

@lizgannes - Liz Gannes

@LizMartinezG - Liz Martinez ‏

‏@Lizziefro - Lizziefroyo

@LizzieWurtzel - Elizabeth Wurtzel

LJH

Lo, Martin

‏@loh - Elliot Loh

@Lola_Areola - L.O.L.A ‏

@lollersCATEs - lollersCATEs

@LOLGOP - LOLGOP ‏

@LondonStudent - London Student

‏@longwall26 - Jason Miller

@lookitsjulia - Julia Santo ‏

@loolabelll - NutTy wife

@lordstewie - Stewie NOT Griffin

@lorlorlori - Lori

@Losephine - Dolores ‏

@LosLos__ - Los ‏

@LouisPeitzman - Louis Peitzman

@LoveNLunchmeat - Christy ‏

@lpolgreen - Lydia Polgreen

@LuckyLea13 - Cid is Vicious ‏

@luckyshirt - luckyshirt; Lucky Shirt

@lukekarmali - Luke Karmali

@lulusgirl888 - Nope

‏@LunaSeattle - LunaSeattle

@lunchyprices - Heather Kay

‏@LzbethRachael - Beth_Becomes_Her

@Maarab - Maarab Hanif ‏

@Madame_Royale - Madame Creepy ‏

@MadameSnippy - Menacing Madame ‏

@madamesnooty - michele ‏

@madmomsdiary - Madmom ‏

@MaDom - Magnus

@maehoneybee – Magdalena; Isis

Maestas, David

@Mahamali05 - Maham Ali ‏

@mahaseth - Kaushal Mahaseth ‏

@maibrandy - Brandy Mai

@MailOnline - Daily Mail Online

@ManaKultras - Imran Aziz ‏

@MandaDeen - Manda ‏

@marcprensky - Marc Prensky

‏@marcusjcarey - Marcus J. Carey

@MarcusOreally - Marcus

@MariamGoraya - Mariam ‏

@MariaMontessori - Maria Montessori

‏@Marine4Veterans - Sgt T

‏@Maritta_L - MsBonkers

@mark_liberman - Mark Liberman

@Mark_Parkinson - Mark_Parkinson ‏

@martianhaiku - Life on Mars

@Martin_Dempsey - GEN Martin Dempsey

@martynasn - Martynas Nikolajevas

@maryashakil - marya shakil

@MasqueradedLady - X X ‏

@MasterOfFury - MasterOfFury ‏

@matanlurey - Matan Lurey

‏@MatchingTattoos - Matching Tattoos; Wonderstruck

@mathowie - Haughey, Matt

@matt_foster - Matt Foster ‏

‏@mattdelia - Matt D'Elia

@mattfikse - Matt Fikse-Verkerk

‏@matthaig1 - Matt Haig

@matthew_bernard - Matt Bernard ‏

@MatthewBrowning - Matthew Browning ‏

@mattlanger - Matt Langer ‏

@mattlemay - Matt LeMay

@mattmanic - Matt Manic ‏

@matttuff - matt

@maulifuff - maulifuff

@maxfenton - Max Fenton ✰

‏@maybenotstef - stef

@mbobstarr - Michael Bob Starr ‏

@mcdermott_n - Nick McDermott

@McKQuarterly - McKinsey Quarterly

‏@Mdarbyreid - Darby

@mdvaldosta - Joe Hayes

@Me_llody - Melody

@mediagag - Hassan Cheema

@MeerkatManners - Josh Bluth

@meganshpettit - Maggie Mac Donald

@megfraser - Meghan Ella Fraser ‏

@mehreenrana - breen ‏

@mehreenzahra - Mehreen Zahra-Malik

@mehsoore - Syed Tehseer Haider ‏

Mehta, Ravi

@MelissaJack918 - Melissa Jack; Lissa J

‏@MelissaStetten - Melissa Stetten

@melliemeow - Melanie ‏

Menon, Nivedita

@meowskins - Rachel Zane

‏@metaimago - Daniel Millroy

@metamelf - Melissa Fabrizio

‏@metapostasy - Evan Brown

@mevlaar - Mevlar ‏

@mfnoyes - M Noyes ‏

@michael_raphone - Michael Raphone, Sr. ‏

@michaelb4jordan - Michael B Jordan

@MichelleHarnois - Michelle ‏

@michiokaku - Dr. Michio Kaku

@MickJagger - Mick Jagger

@mid_day - Mid Day Infomedia

‏@MiekeEoyang - mieke eoyang

@mightymouse - deb

@MihirBijur - Mihir Bijur ‏

@Mike_Bianchi - Mike Bianchi

@mikeleffingwell - Mike Leffingwell

@mikeysan - mikey-san

@militarytalent - Philip Dana ‏

@MiloKilledPunk - \\(o_0)/ ‏

@MinedOvaMatter - Mined Ova Matta

Minkowski, Christopher

@MinniesMadness - MinniesMadness

@Mipeck1 - Michael Peck

@Mirth_Quake - Hugh Morris

@Miss_Cook - Miss_Cook

‏@Miss_Firefly_ - Miss F

‏@miss_ogyny - He Man Woman Hater

@MissAprilToYou - Your Secretary ‏

‏@missekay - Mmmkay?

‏@MissHobbitBitch - Emily

@MissItAintMe - VanillaPaws ‏

@MissLustCaution - Miss Lust Caution

‏@missmayn - Ally Maynard

@MisterBombay - Gordon Bombay ‏

@MisterPrankster - SeanPrankster

Mitchell, Robert Edward

@mitdasein - Skygazing Cat ‏

@mjolinor - Rob Campbell ‏

‏@mjrharris - Michael Harris

‏@mlkef - mlkef

@MMAK1201 - MellyMonz ‏

@mmfa - Media Matters blog

@Mobute - Jeb Lundead ‏

@MoCannoli - Katie

@mochanya - Ɲicolє ☀ ‏

@MohnishMoorjani - Mohnish Moorjani

@mojo_bones_ - ReeseButCallMeMojo

@mojorojo - Rohan Joshi

@MollySneed - Molly

@molodyko - Микола Молодыко ‏

‏@MomAnony - Not Your Mother

‏@MomentumIonE - Momentum

@moniguzman - Mónica Guzmán

@moniquevalcour - Monique Valcour

@monkchips - James Governor ‏

‏@monokrow - Jack Door

@MontePaulsen - Monte Paulsen

@moonlit_verse - Moonlight

@moonsez - Moon

Moore, Charles - writer for @Telegraph

Moorthy, Srikantan Tan

Morell, Michael

Morellé (sic, could be Morelly)

Morrison, Ann M.

@mostlyjokes - mostly jokes

@MotherJones - Mother Jones

@MouthyMess - Toots. ‏

‏@Mr_goose007 - Mr_Goose007

@MrNoLaughs - Matt Sturbator

@mrossletters - Michael Ross ‏

@mrptrck - Patrick

@MrsSelfDestrukt - Miss Anthro Pissed

‏@mrtruthandsoul - truthNSoul

‏@Ms_Moneypenny_ - Miss Moneypenny

@MsCarlissima - Carly

@msloulou - Zillah Gashlycrumb

@msnbc - msnbc

‏@msquinn - megan quinn

@msuster - Mark Suster

@MsVitch - valarie b

@MuffinButty - Dolly Dagger

‏@murderbytweets - Psycho is my petname

@my_musings_ - Payal ‏

@MyLoveGoesDown - Breathless ‏

‏@MysticPrism_ - P.S.

@Mythos_Media - Mythos Media

@MyTweetLilLife - Mrs. Me ‏

@Mytwoscentz - Mytwoscentz ‏

@N0pantz - hooper. ‏

@nachosarah - Sarah Beattie

@NAChristakis - Nicholas Christakis

@nakashimae - Ellen Nakashima

@naman_k - namankumar

@NamingTheDead - Naming the Dead

@nancycc - Nancy Man

@nanog - NANOG

@naomirwolf - Naomi Wolf

‏@narendra - Narendra Rocherolle

Naseer, Ghalia

‏@NASHterpiece - Nash

@natalijaheslop - Natalijakae ‏

@natashalennard - Natasha Lennard

‏@nategorby - Nate Gorby

@nationallampoon - National Lampoon

@Natkitty420 - Nosey, aren't ya?

@NatlSecCnslrs - NatlSecCounselors

‏@NatyBietz - Boss Ladyy

Nauert, Rick

@navarrotells - Joe Navarro

@navesssa - Dora the Explorer ‏

@Nayrouz_Abouzid - Nayrouz Abouzid

@nazgul - Kee Hinckley

@ncardozo - Nate Cardozo ‏

@nealstephenson - Neal Stephenson ‏

@NeelaVanam - Subhashini ‏

@NeelieKroesEU - Neelie Kroes ‏

‏@NeilBhatiya - Neil Bhatiya

@NetworkWorld - Network World

@NeuroticMess - Psychotic Insanity ‏

@NextNavy - Craig Hooper ‏

‏@NextPotModeI - ♕ KG

@nicfit75 - inappropriate mom ‏

@nichimtakt - nichimtakt ‏

@Nicholey23 - Nichole ‏

@Nick_Frost - Nick Frost ‏

@NickdeBruyne - Nick de Bruyne

@nicks_663 - Nikhil Singh ‏

@nickspears - Nick Spears

‏@nickwiger - Nick Wiger

@NickyOfYoung - Nicky Young ‏

@nicthacker - Nic Thacker

@NietzscheQuotes - NietzscheQuotes ‏

@nigburt - Nick; Bro Doggy

@Nigella_Lawson - Nigella Lawson

@nihilismplus - n+ ‏

@nikhildave86 - Nikhil Dave

@NikkiGlaser - Nikki Glaser ‏

Nikolova - Elena

@NilimDutta - Nilim Dutta

@nilssonanders - Anders Nilsson

‏@Nimrah_B - Nimrah Bader

‏@Nipun - Nipun Srivastava

@nixskits2 - nixskits ‏

@nklopfen - neilk ‏

Noble, Karen

@noog - noog

@NotE0157H7 - RIST_18D8

‏@NoteHear - Note Hear

‏@nothingcatchy - Jeees

@notreallyart - B Jones

@NOTwesclark - Wes Clark ‏

‏@notytony - Tony Sebastian

@noveldoctor - Stephen Parolini

@nsa - NSA

@nsheizaf - noam sheizaf

‏@numbertze - Number Tze

@NurseRatchet719 - Janine ‏

Nyad

@NYCBaby - Abigail Gullo ‏

@NYHistory - N-YhistoricalSociety

@NYMag - New York Magazine

@NymphoFor - ChangingUp

O'Dell - Kathy

@obxlaw - Curmudgeon at Law ‏

@OddLetters - Molly Sauter

@OhhhLuiss - Kim Jong-Luiki

‏@OhhMikee - Mike Wheeler

@OhhScarlet23 - Scarlet ‏

@ohjrauhl

@OhSweetCharity - OhSweetCharity

@OhWowThatsAwk - Glen Coco

‏@oil_is_opium - Karachi Feminist

@oliverburkeman - Oliver Burkeman

@omar_quraishi - omar r quraishi ‏

@OneWonderWoman - Won-Dirty Woman ‏

@onijewel - M.Jones ‏

@onion_cereal - brian ‏

@OpenRightsGroup - Open Rights Group ‏

@OPinfo - Olivera Perkins

@Oprah - Oprah Winfrey

@orionp - Orion Protonentis

@osigat - Judge Mental ‏

@osno13 - 100 Pound Salmon ‏

‏@OspreyRich - Richard Sullivan

@OutrageousM - OutrageousM ‏

‏@overdrev - Michael Jackson

@owocki - Kevin Owocki

‏@oxbollocks - oxbollocks

@oye_gujju - *professor gujju* ‏

@p8ntar - p8ntar ‏

@Padmhasini - T.Padmhasini ‏

@paidContent - paidContent

@palafo - Patrick LaForge ‏

@panktimehta - Pankti Mehta

@PantsDonkey - Justin Cider ‏

‏@papadimitriou - Paul Papadimitriou

@ParaJanitor - Boss ‏

@parakram_h - Parakram हजारिका ‏

@paranoidplastic - CHRIS

@parisreview - The Paris Review

@parmy - Parmy Olson

@PASHAORG - P@SHA ‏

@pathways

‏@patrickwitty - Patrick Witty

@pauldanke - Paul Danke

@paule_wog - Paul

‏@PaulLewis - Paul Lewis

‏@PaulRevere1986 - Paul Revere

@pblake123 - Paul Blake

@PBS - PBS

@PellMull - Marv Mfwic

@penbleth - Penbleth

@PereLebrun - David Kasper, Esq.

@perryhewitt - Perry Hewitt ‏

@pertyugly - Die Pretty ‏

@Peter_Orner - Peter Orner

@peterbregman - Peter Bregman

@peterthiel - Peter Thiel

@PheasantPluckr - John Jacob ‏

@philipofthedeep - Philip Krohnengold ‏

‏@philoquotes - PhiloQuotes

@phillyprof03 - Kim Wilson ‏

@pienelain - Little Tiger

@PinterestFake - The Fake Pinterest ‏

@pixidixidoo - Adriana

@pjlynch - Patrick James Lynch ‏

@PjSparkless - P.J Sparkles ‏

@pladner - Peter Ladner

@pmarca - Marc Andreessen

‏@pmclellan - Pat McLellan, W.D.

@PolhunterP - Pol ‏

@PolyesterPony - PolyesterPony

@Polygon - Polygon

@poonam_yadav - Poonam Yadav ‏

@PortlandiaGirl - Erin

@pragmatic_d - pragmatic_desi ‏

@Preppier - Prepstar ‏

@pressfreedom - CPJ

@primawesome - 5318008

@PrincessAbs24 - mrs abs ‏

@PrincessBL0NDIE - Princess Blondie ‏

@PrincessOhSassy - BlueEyedSass ‏

@pritamJAYKAR - The Penis Monologue

@PritishNandy - Pritish Nandy

‏@PrivateSnuffy - Chris Zeitz

‏@priyankablah - Priyanka Blah

@priyankac19 - Priyanka Chaturvedi ‏

@ProfessorEnron - Lay Skilling et al. ‏

@Psquatch - matt prindle

@PsychCentral - PsychCentral

@psychotic_dude - The dude himself ‏

@ptcIcares - PTCL

@PTI_News - Press Trust of India

@publicbooks - Public Books

@purpledmal - Mal Merpi

pyq6

@Qu4rtKn33 - Amelia Erfart ‏

@QuinnK - Quinn Katherman

@ra - Ramsey Nasser

@Raabart_theLion - Raabart ‏

@rachel2manypaws - miss shushy paws

@rachelincolour – rachel

@radicalbytes - Jonathan, McIntosh

@RadioPakistan - Radio Pakistan

@raghavshanoy - raghav shanoy ‏

@RainyBritain - Josh

@Raistlend - the White Crayon ‏

‏@rajeshkalra - Rajesh Kalra

‏@rajivwashpost - Rajiv Chandrasekaran

@rambo_nz - Rambo's Apprentice ‏

@RameshPonnuru - Ramesh Ponnuru

@Randazzoj - Joe Randazzo

‏@randomlybibi - Bibi Silver

‏@Randy_was_here - Cocky McCockerson

‏@ratamack - Mack

@RBReich - Robert Reich ‏

@rcosgrove - Richard Cosgrove

@rdevro - Devereaux, Ryan

@readingirl - Lindsay Abrams

@RealPButtercup - Cherry Valance ‏

‏@RealPrincessKim - Princess Kim

‏@RealPuppetIAm - Deon

@rebootdude - Jawwad Farid

@Redicupidity - Some Crazy Chick

@redorbit - RedOrbit

@ReelQuinn - Quinn ‏

‏@ReeseButCallMeV - ReeseButCallMeVee

Reilly, Jerome

‏@rejectionking - Sina K.

@reloaded2013 - Decka ‏

Remoff, Heather

@resnikoff - Ned Resnikoff

@Reverend_Scott - Reverend Scott ‏

‏@RichHarris2 - Richard Harris

@RichNeville - Richard Neville

@rickgladstone - rickgladstone

@RiddlingDreams - Captain Caffeine

@rikpayne - Rick ‏

Risen - James

@riseupnet - riseup.net

@RitleySammich - Mookie Blaylock

@rlynn_solomon - Rachel Lynn Solomon

@rmehlinger - Richard Mehlinger Jr ‏

@RobertGreene - Robert Greene

@robferdman - Roberto Ferdman

@RobMahoney_CPJ - Robert Mahoney

@robyn_vo - Robyn Von Cunth ‏

‏@rockingtheshow - Rashid

@rocklandgroup - Bill Gately ‏

@RogerQuimbly - Mr Roger Quimbly ‏

@RonPaul - Ron Paul

Ross, Alice K

@rotusbrossum - Charissa

@roughdiction - RoughDiction

@RoWack - Unpainted Huffheins ‏

@RowanMoore - Rowan Moore

@RSF788 - Ryan ‏

‏@ruchicatomar - Ruchica Tomar

@RujutaDiwekar - Rujuta Diwekar

@rukmini_shrini - Rukmini S ‏

@RumaisaMohani - Rumaisa Mohani

‏@runasand - Runa A. Sandvik

@RWW - ReadWrite

@ryan9billion - Your Ryan ‏

‏@ryanbeckwith - Ryan Teague Beckwith

@rz0ndy - Randy ‏

@Saba_Imtiaz - Saba Imtiaz

@sabeen - Sabeen Mahmud ‏

@SableFlare - SableSushi ‏

Sagan - Françoise

@sagarikaghose - Sagarika Ghose ‏

@Sahir__khan - Sahir Khan ‏

@SaintStoney - Chris West ‏

@SalmanRushdie - Salman Rushdie ‏

@Salon - Salon.com

@Sam19eighty - Sam ‏

@SammyHopee - Samantha Chrisman ‏

@samramuslim - Samra Muslim ‏

@sandiegokat - dietcokehead ‏

@sandipsabharwal - sandip sabharwal ‏

@SandyPeterz - Sandy Peters ‏

@SarahFemme - Sarah

@SarahFKessler - Sarah Kessler

@sarahintampa - Sarah Perez

@sarahsarahpeace -Sarah ‏

@saramayeux - sara mayeux

‏@Sarcasm_Machine - Sarcasm Machine

@SarcasmsWeapon - Sarcastic Commentary

@SarcasticRover - SarcasticRover

@SarithaRai - Saritha Rai

‏@sarnophora - Sara

@SassiChandio - Sassi Chandio ‏

@SassNoFrass - Zap My Ass BYTES ‏

@scaffoldjocky - Fox Moulder ‏

Scales, Robert H.

@schaeffyquake - Brian

@schiavona - La Schiava ‏

Scholtes, Peter

@sciam - Scientific American

@Scientits - Tabster ‏

@Scobleizer - Robert Scoble

@SEAempire - Sandra Enns-Arnell

‏@SeagullCharlie - ConfusedDick

@Seanismoney - Sean Caulfield ‏

@seattle20 - Seattle2.0

@SecGen_IFA - Jane Barratt

@secmoose - Moose, not squirrel

@selfieharm - Never ‏

@seriouslymacho - Mr.M

@SexCigarsBooze - David Voth

‏@SexyInsomniac - Victoria

@SH1V3R - SH1V3R ‏

@shadihamid - Shadi Hamid ‏

@shadygeekdad - Jedi Master Shady ‏

@shahed - Shahed Amanullah ‏

@Shahidmasooddr - Dr Shahid Masood

@shahrouzt - Shahrouz ‏

‏@Shakti_Shetty - Shakti Shetty

@ShannonSuxx - Shannon

@shantanub - Shantanu ‏

@shashj - Shashank Joshi

‏@shatterpants - McBride

@ShaunRightNow - Shaun's World

@shaztaberry - Just Shazta :) ‏

@shegotagronk - Erma Gerd ‏

‏@Sheila_Mac420 - Sheila

@Sheldrake - Philip Sheldrake

@Shenkitup - Nate Shenk

@Sherriva - Sherri

@ShesAllNat - Natasha ‏

@shhhmegs - megatron

‏@Shimshammy - Low Down Dirty Dog

@ShitNobodySays - Shit Nobody Says

@ShittingtonUK - Sean Tejaratchi

@ShootIndia - Simon de Trey-White

@siamonday - Stupid idiot. ‏

‏@siddhmi - siddhartha mitter

@silentkpants - Kat Veetee ‏

Silverman, Rachel Emma

@SimonDuring - Simon During

‏@SimonMaloy - Simon Maloy

@SimplyMattD - Matt D.

@SimplyRoguey - Rogue

‏@siren_sweet - ~SweetSiren~

@Sister_Roberta - Sister Roberta ‏

@SixWordWar - Six Word War

@SlabBaconBP - Curtis E Flush ‏

‏@SlackArab - Sara

Slackusr [Identi.ca ID]

@slashdot - Slashdot

@Slate - Slate

‏@SlayerSays - SlayerSays

@slb79 - stacia l. brown ‏

@Slinkybrowneyes - slinky ‏

‏@SMCoates - Stephen Coates

@smilinbjones

@smjcksn - Sam Jackson ‏

@Smmythe - Hairy Godmother; Miss Ma'am

@smokenfogm - SZ ‏

‏@SmokingsKills - Red-Eye Jedi

@SmoQueenAddict - Shattergee Shattergee ‏

@SnarkToast - Snark Toast ‏

@SnatchGargoyle - El Huevo Ranchero

@Sneakernets - Sneakernets ‏

@snowness - nicole

@snpsnpsnp - SarahNicolePrickett ‏

@SolitaryMob - | Solitary Mob |

@solo_sonata - Matthew Daniel Green

@Soma_G - Soma Ghosh ‏

@someecards - someecards

‏@SomthinBoutSara - sara

@soniafaleiro - Sonia Faleiro ‏

@SophiaBush - Sophia Bush

Sophia, Zachary

@SoSexyErin - SexyErin ‏

Sowell, Thomas

‏@spanner - ◅⊙▻The Spanner◅⊙▻

@Spotswoj - J.S. {lexi's}

@SpyTalker - Jeff Stein ‏

@Squeeb_Slayer - lisa ‏

@SSDated - Something She Dated ‏

@stacyherbert - Stacy Herbert ‏

@staffordmasie - Stafford Masie ‏

‏@StarDestructive - Stephanie Disaster

@Starlight2112 - ~*~Starlight~*~ ‏

@starwars - Star Wars ‏

@SteelCityDawn - Dawn Renee ‏

‏@STEELERS1972 - Tony P.

@steenyweeny - jenny

@Stef_Nfection - Infected Warpole

Stellin, Susan

@stephaniesits - Stephanie Gutierrez

@StephenBCramer - Wickedwordslinger‏

@StephStartsOver - Stephology

@SteveJerman - Steven R. Jerman

‏@stevelevine - Steve LeVine

@stevenbjohnson - Steven Johnson

@StevenWright - Steven Wright

@stevetweeters - Steve Tweeters

@StillerDesigns - Jutta Stiller ‏

‏@StKonrath - Steffen Konrath

‏@stobie33 - Ms.T.Sto if ur nasty

@Stoned_Drone - FLYING MURDER ROBOT ‏

@stoneymoss - Deb Scott

@stopbeingfamous - Ferrari Sheppard ‏

@StPaulRevere - St. Paul Revere ‏

@StuartGray - Stuart Gray ‏

@Student347 - A

@Student495 - A

‏@stupendu - Annoying Customer

@subjectobject - rachel

@subobose - Subo ‏

@sucknouveau - A+

@SudheenKulkarni - Sudheendra Kulkarni ‏

@Suiz - Suiz Uzcategui ‏

@sulkywhitegirl - lauren ‏

‏@Sullivan_Smith - Mr. Kevin Sullivan

@SultanAlQassemi - Sultan Al Qassemi ‏

‏@sumpeoplelikeit - somepeoplelikeit

@SundayGuardian - The Sunday Guardian

@sunexplode - Crank Paul

@Super_Mkat - SuperDuperKat

@superduperjes - Bill Nye is my hero.

@superduperkewl - brendan

@SuperSillay - S

@superwuster - Tim Wu ‏

@suranakamal - Kamal Surana ‏

‏@SuzyCyanide - Suzy Cyanide

@svaradarajan - Varadarajan, Siddharth

‏@SveldtSmelt - Enemy

‏@swaghagswag - (swag)hag(swag)

@swbelieves - Crisis Lined ‏

@Swell_Bro - swell dude ‏

@swissmiss - Tina Roth Eisenberg

@swollenvoice - swollenvoice ‏

@Sychlops - Rameez

@t0shiba - Mustafa Aziz Khalifa ‏

@TakePart - TakePart

@TalhaaImam - Talha

‏@TalkingBox_ - Learned Tin

@tanyamuzaffar - Tanya Muzaffar ‏

@tapssri - T.S ‏

@TaraReid - Tara Reid ‏

@TarekJan - TJ ‏

@tastefactory - pat tobin ‏

@Tattoo_Acoustic - Ambanana ‏

@taylormcneeley - Taylor McNeeley ‏

@TechPolicy - Natalie Fonseca

@TechRepublic - TechRepublic

@tedalexandro - Ted Alexandro

@TedisReaI - Ted

@TEDxBrussels - TEDxBrussels

@TeresaAmabile - Teresa Amabile

@TeresaDiCairano - Teresa Di Cairano

@teriberry11 - Teri Berry

@TerminalSingles - Stephanie

@TeslaMotors - Tesla Motors

‏@Tetley6969 - Tetley6969

@text_quest - bog_bodies.gba ‏

@tezcatlipoca - Andrew Sempere ‏

@TFT_ - The Friday Times

@tgdtirstpmo - Happy Nutbag ‏

@ThaRizzy - Riz

@That1chk - oldchk/newattitude

@thatfootieguy

@the_1st_rule - the narrator ‏

@the_anastasia - Anastasia Kazakevich

@the_littletramp - Brian

@The_MartiniGirl - The_martinigirl

@The_One_Liner - King of Puns

@the_spinmd - Mike Maney

@theabstractass - Abstract Asshole ‏

‏@TheAnitaG - Anita

@theblaze - TheBlaze

@thecoppergirl - Taylor Casti

@TheDavidBoies - David Boies

The Drama Review

@thefogbender - Evan :)

@thegarance - Garance Franke-Ruta

@thehill - The Hill

@TheIlluminati - TheIlluminati

@thejakeshenry - Jake! ‏

@TheJeffBridges - Jeff Bridges Actor

@thejessbess - Jess ‏

@theJoeBiz - Joe Bizness

@TheLastVirgo - Shireen Soussen ♔ ‏

@theleanover - Adam Wilson

@thenews_intl - The News

@TheNewWarden - Rob Warden

@TheNextWeb - The Next Web

@TheOnion - The Onion

@ThePlainDealer - The Plain Dealer

@TheReal_AndyMac - Andy ‏

@TheRealLadyLuck - Aubri

@TheRegister - The Register

@theresa_lauren - Theresa Couchman

therumpus.net

@TheS7S - Hussein Imam

‏@TheSingleWoman - TheSingleWoman

@thesocialtech - Kim Sloan

@TheSofiya - Sofiya Alexandra ‏

@TheStarMachine - Mr. Nova

‏@thetimes - The Times of London

@thetobbie - TO33IE

@TheTrueDocLove - Captain Chaos

‏@TheTweetParrot - TheTweetParrot

@Thiane - Thiane Loureiro ‏

@thinkmariya - Mariya

‏@thirdsaturnmoon - Anna Ptasińska

‏@ThisisBeckyW - Becky Warren

@thisisjendoll - Jen Doll ‏

@thisissaira - Saira ‏

@thumbelinasays - thumbelinasays ‏

@TiffanyJMoore - Tiffany

Tillerson, Rex W.

‏@Tillman_40 - Tillman 40

@TimeOutLondon - Time Out London ‏

@TimHarford - Tim Harford

@timmullaney - tim mullaney

@timoreilly - Tim O'Reilly

@timothywjohnson - Johnson, Timothy

‏@timpritlove - Tim Pritlove

@TitansHomer - J Martinez ‏

‏@tittyshakes - Malted Titty Shakes

@TJBound - Thelma E. Quintero

@tnr - The New Republic

@tnylgn - tony logan

@toddtauber - Todd Tauber

@toi_rajJ - raj jha

@tomiahonen - Tomi Ahonen

@TommyyGun - TommyTheBarbarian ‏

@TOMolefe - TO Molefe ‏

@tomricks1 - tom ricks

@tomscott - Tom Scott

@tonyschwartz - tonyschwartz

@tonytongbram - Anthony ‏

@tophersteel - Chris Steel

@ToThePoint_KCRW To The Point

@tottinge - Tim Ottinger ‏

@ToxicProbably - Toxic Probably ‏

@tracend - Makis Tracend

@traciAWESOME - Fresno Arbios

@trelvix - Trelvix

Tristan - screen name on UrbanDictionary.com

@Tristanstoes - ♥

@TristramPerry - Тристрам ‏

@TrolleyCat - Erika

@trumpetcake - Ted Travelstead ‏

@truthout - Truthout

@tryped - Colin ‏

@TurboHater - Lane Pieschel ‏

@Tweeetmebad - Tweeetmebad ‏

@tweetingsourav - tweetingsourav

@twit2g2 - gtoos

@TwittsMcGee - +Kristi

@two1ohhbabydoll - Annnjeeezy ‏

@Twylo - Seth Morabito ‏

Tye, John Napier

@tyrhondasaurus - rex

‏@Udashen - Ben Udashen

@UGotMeRight - LJ‏

@UGpk - Usman Ghani

@umairjav - Umair Javed

@unclfestr - Fester ‏

@UnconnectedDots - A Big Goofy Nerd

@UnFitz - FScottUnFitzgerald ‏

@UniqueVisitor - Jeff Pester

University of Virginia Women's Center

@unstatusfactory - Unstatusfactory

@urbanprojectz - Adam

@USAJOBS - USAJOBS ‏

@UsamaKhilji - Usama Khilji ‏

@USATODAY - USA TODAY

@uwbotanicgarden - UW Botanic Gardens

‏@VaChina1 - Va China

‏@VagiNarcissist - VagiNarcissist

@vagstar - Tricia's Vagina

‏@valentinebaby82 - Simone

@VampiliciousXo - Ashley † ‏

@VanditaSawhney - Vandita Sawhney ‏

‏@VanVeenB - Brian

‏@vbadal - Vikas Badal

@veggiefemme - veggie femme

@VerbTheNounName - Verb the Noun ‏

‏@verge - The Verge

‏@VerifiedBakchod - Verified Bakchod

‏@VerifiedJayy - Just Jayyyyyyy

@VesselDoc - Major Art Terry, MD

@VestaTot - Vesta Tot ‏

‏@VickyGillies - Vicky Gillies

@victoryatsea - Timothy Rysdyke

@VijayP1982 - Vijay ‏

‏@vinceness - Vince Eckert

@vindugoel - Vindu Goel

@VivaVeronica122 - Veronica

@Vivienneclore - Vivienne Clore

@vladchoc - vladchoc ‏

@VodkaMary - Jane Sow ‏

@vodkya - Sam Regrets That She

@voguemagazine - Vogue Magazine

@VoilaTyle - VoilaTyle

@volkswagenindia - Volkswagen India ‏

@vranjes_dan - Dan V. ‏

Waseem, M.

@Watchmyass - Hannah

@wblau - Wolfgang Blau ‏

@WeatherWillett - Derek

@weinerdog4life - Snorklhuahua ‏

‏@WeissBrandon - Spittin Taint Paint

@WendyLiebman - Wendy Liebman

@westcape - glenn jeffery ‏

‏@WetzelGeek - Jeremy Wetzel

Weuve, Chris

‏@Whateverfitsme - No idea

@Whatleydude - James Whatley ‏

@WhatTheFFacts - What The F Facts

@whiskey_norocks - GINGER...SAUCED ‏

@WhiskeyandMeds - Make it a Double‏

‏@WhiteMale - Joseph P. Larkin

White, Valerie

@whitneymuseum - Whitney Museum

@Whoopdeedoo22 - Danielle ‏

Whybrow, Peter

@wikihype - товарищ Puppet

@WilliamShatner - William Shatner ‏

@williamtracy - Will Tracy

Willour, Margaret

@windsheep_ - Marius (wishi) ‏

@wiretapped - Leif Ryge ‏

‏@WiseguySix - Daniel

Wishing, Christopher

@WomenOfHistory - Women Of History

Woodward, Bob

@WorkforceVan - Van Ton-Quinlivan

@Xalqee - X Alqee ‏

@xGingerAvenger - Ginger Tweets ‏

‏@xharrysmascotte - crazy mofo.

@xor - Parker Higgins

@yadyxx13 - Sweet Potato

@YahooAnswers - Yahoo Answers

@Yarotica - UU‏

@YasirBucha - Yasir Bucha

@YasminMogahed - Yasmin

@yayyyates - rebecca yates coley

@YearOfRat - Ratty Miller ‏

‏@YgamblingSucks - Y Gambling Sucks

@Yidago - Mr. Havercamp

@yielding_light - Andrew ‏

@Yolan76 - Yolanda Joubert ‏

@YourEvilTwin - [bryan] ‏

@YourTLD - dotYou ‏

@yowhatsthehaps - Sarah

zacislost

@ZackFart - Zack Failey ‏

@zaighamkhan - zaigham Khan

@Zale72 - Ramon Menjon

@ZaraPeeru - Zara Peerzada ‏

@zarfeblong - Andrew Plotkin

@zarkoh - Zarko Hristovski

@ZarrarKhuhro - Zarrar Khuhro ‏

@Zeitguide - ZEITGUIDE

@zepadeedoodah - Steve Mazepa

@zephoria - danah boyd

@ZerlinaMaxwell - Zerlina Maxwell ‏

@zeronomics - zerønomics ‏

Zhu, Rui (Juliet)

@Zia68 - Ziaur Rahman

@zigzackly - Peter Griffin

@Zombieionism - Zombie Gordo_Laughs; Zomb E. Coyote

@ZooeyDeschanel - zooey deschanel

@zuhl - Jon Deal

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

• • • • •

Citations per Section

Each section of this book is listed below, along with the number of citations each section contains.

The section number is listed first, followed by the number of citations in that section.

1.0

2.5

3.0

4.88

5.27

6.58

7.0

8.8

9.55

10.55

11.6

12.36

13.2

14.6

15.28

16.59

17.7

18.5

19.13

20.32

21.26

22.0

23.40

24.5

25.31

26.18

27.90

28.9

29.10

30.94

31.1

32.17

33.9

34.7

35.34

36.6

37.16

38.71

39.27

40.40

41.18

42.61

43.79

44.280

45.41

46.66

47.4

48.50

49.4

50.5

51.6

52.3

53.59

54.20

55.18

56.43

57.40

58.40

59.21

60.8

61.6

62.58

63.26

64.30

65.5

66.10

67.12

68.23

69.155

70.18

71.40

72.153

73.93

74.67

75.81

76.45

77.4

78.17

79.6

80.21

81.49

82.17

83.79

84.13

85.14

86.108

87.23

88.6

89.6

90.19

91.2

92.29

93.19

94.7

95.22

96.6

97.6

98.94

99.3

100.126

101.68

102.48

103.77

104.101

105.66

106.12

107.136

108.48

109.89

110.135

111.151

112.285

113.134

114.1

115.4

116.48

117.214

118.172

119.85

120.5

121.6

122.82

123.112

124.119

125.116

126.5

127.7

128.115

129.26

130.96

131.54

132.9

133.103

134.135

135.33

136.166

137.47

138.13

139.60

140.87

141.84

142.29

143.5

144.26

145.39

146.12

147.24

148.4

149.5

150.6

151.6

152.16

153.18

154.17

155.16

156.36

157.45

158.18

159.7

160.20

161.44

162.20

163.170

164.193

165.205

166.418

167.1

168.61

169.76

170.87

171.27

172.56

173.10

174.32

175.28

176.204

177.22

178.72

179.15

180.36

181.0

182.0

183.0

184.0

185.0

186.96

187.10

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  185. Author Index

Authors are listed alphabetically by @username, followed by their screen name or names. Screen names are generally listed according to the order in which they appear in the book. Not all alternate screen names are recorded below.

Authors and other sources that are not cited by @username are included here on par with those that are cited alphabetically by @username, with the '@' symbol ignored for the purposes of alphabetization.

An item's index number consists of two parts, separated by a dot. The first indicates the section in which an item appears. The second indexes the item within its section. Sections are grouped into chapters, with chapters numbered as if they are sections.

In this alphabetized list, on a character-by-character basis, numbers precede letters and punctuation marks precede both. Blank spaces, commas and the '@' symbol are not considered to be characters for purposes of alphabetization here.

This index includes only those works cited with the "^" mark. It does not include everyone mentioned in the bibliography, which follows, and in which not everyone receives a ^citation and citation number.

Updates and corrections to this author index will be posted on TragedyAndSelfDestruction.com. Suggestions and corrections are humbly appreciated. How to send them in? Please go to the website for up-to-date contact information.

‏@_BreakingAshley - Ashley Zamot ‏

42.3

139.16

‏@_BryceJohnson - Bryce Johnson

98.7

98.28

@_CodyDavis - Cody Davis ‏

134.60

@_DavidShields - David Shields

20.1

20.2

20.8

20.10

20.11

26.2

‏@_goldieeelocks - goldie; GoldieLox ‏

On 14 December 2013 this Twitter account was found to have likely experienced a change of control.

38.2

56.13

105.63

169.25

170.70

‏@_jennjenn - Princess Jennifer

63.13

@_just_tosha_ - NE_tosha ‏

164.74

@_kayditty - K-Ditty

Includes: @Kayditty

117.44

‏@_LaPeligrosa - Tara Lee

113.47

141.63

187.3

‏@_Midtowngirl - midtowngirl

40.33

40.35

100.45

109.2

111.1

116.29

117.53

122.27

128.86

128.87

130.52

136.113

163.162

164.153

172.54

177.10

177.11

178.11

@_sarcophagus - Wild Thing ‏

72.15

‏@_ShitNoOneSays_ - Shit No One Says

107.1

@_Shizzle - Mr. Luva Luva

No Twitter account with this ID found on 26 June 2013.

107.31

110.23

@_sleepysmile - Lisa ‏

171.11

@_srslainey - Lain Brain

Includes: srslainey (Lain Brain) from Michigan on Favrd.

134.78

@_theigirl - Sileah ‏

Includes: ‏@_thatigirl - That I Girl; ‏@ileahtogo - Just ileah

104.50

165.113

166.404

172.11

@_TomBrady - Rob

Account abandoned and then taken over by someone else on 24 April 2012.

72.50

@_valeriei - Valerie Irvine

132.4

132.6

@_wirepair - isaac ‏

154.9

‏@_xLNc - D.H

16.37

166.80

@00example00

On 17 December 2013 this account was found to have been disabled and appeared to have undergone a change of control.

170.54

@10InchesPlus - Daniel Day Lube-this; Danny Lover ‏

20.25

100.7

129.11

166.337

@12inch_vertical - Dave-O

109.1

‏@1Happytwit - Sheila

56.20

@1knotwhole - Crazy Girl

43.37

124.63

169.9

‏@1PrettyPeony - Fool

178.21

‏@1st_Disciple - Enter The Dragon

166.371

@20committee - John Schindler ‏

83.21

83.54

119.71

145.36

145.37

145.38

@25_Vero - **V** ‏

38.21

100.36

104.66

111.64

112.225

@2TallGreg - Greg Walter ‏

124.97

178.5

‏@3nnui - chris

84.3

86.11

@4thquatrain - Adam Amsrud‏

62.41

‏@5ean5ullivan - Sean Sullivan

69.11

‏@5hael - Shael

46.37

64.7

166.229

166.260

166.262

168.35

174.13

@5haners - Shane In The Ass ‏

111.73

@68_mad - Mark Dee

81.17

‏@7im - Tim Dickinson

156.7

@9600 - Andrew Back

62.3

@9to5Life - Lifey ‏

53.10

69.53

136.72

170.40

175.17

@a_marshall_plan - Adam Marshall

147.17

‏@a_small_lab - Chris B

130.87

130.92

@aaditee - Bear Jr. ‏

26.3

166.120

166.325

@AaruC - Aarushi ‏

54.15

@AbbyHaglage - Abby Haglage

83.35

@ablaze - Jon Mitchell ๛

178.7

@aboutdotcom - About.com

19.5

19.10

19.13

69.15

@abracarioca - Anna

27.68

Abrams, M.H.

M.H. Abrams is Meyer Howard "Mike" Abrams, 23 July 1912 – 21 April 2015. No Twitter ID found for him on 15 November 2013.

59.3

@abrevi8 - Rowan Pettett

75.48

@abumuqawama - Andrew Exum ‏

135.30

@AcesEveryTime - AcesEveryTime

73.87

124.40

@ACLU_WA - ACLU of Washington

162.3

@acorn - Nitin Pai ‏

74.41

74.45

@Acoyle33 - a-man-DUH ‏

56.23

@adam_fogle - Adam Fogle

60.6

87.13

@adambloomie2 - Adam Bloom

4.55

@adamhudson5 - Adam Hudson ‏

83.44

‏@adamlevine - Adam Levine

112.9

@AdamMGrant - Adam Grant

141.83

@adamochoa - adam

73.11

‏@adamthislife - Adam

35.16

‏@AdamWeinstein - Adam Weinstein

125.7

@Adar79Angie - AngieDavisheartspeen ‏

113.84

@AdrianChen - Adrian Chen ‏

39.7

@aedison - Avery Edison

64.19

86.83

89.2

108.48

‏@Aelkus - Adam Elkus

83.20

137.13

@Afaf_TN - Afef Abrougui ‏

161.21

@AFLCIO - AFL-CIO

125.31

@AFP - Agence France-Presse

10.54

‏@afrocyberpunk - AfroCyberPunk

83.3

119.8

145.20

145.21

145.22

145.23

145.24

@AgamemNOMNOM - Dread God

42.61

71.7

@Ahm76 - ahm

101.61

165.96

@ahundredmonkeys - A Hundred Monkeys ‏

136.48

‏@AIanHangover - Alan Garner

The second letter in this parody account's @username is an uppercase i.

107.119

134.64

@Aimee_B_Loved - Aimee B

30.63

@ainsworth - I'll Have Another ‏

105.35

142.10

164.177

‏@aishaghaly - Aisha Ghaly

124.35

@AJEnglish - Al Jazeera English

130.10

131.47

131.48

131.49

@akaHoezy - Generous. ‏

139.59

‏@akchishti - akchishti

133.98

‏@akhtersfahmi - Akhter Fahmi

127.6

@AKickassHandle - Caffeinated Passant. ‏

27.28

113.68

168.42

176.136

176.138

@alaindebotton - Alain de Botton

9.48

9.55

19.1

85.5

100.84

101.8

101.48

103.67

111.76

112.12

112.98

112.127

112.171

112.183

112.228

112.261

112.262

112.264

113.33

113.130

117.136

117.206

122.8

122.25

122.81

124.2

125.19

125.107

128.12

130.50

134.27

136.166

140.2

140.74

141.32

141.33

164.54

164.70

164.135

164.179

166.5

@AlamTanweer - M Tanweer Alam

92.17

@AlanHungover - Alan Garner ‏

The second letter in this parody account's @username is a lowercase letter L.

105.55

@alanna_shaikh - Alanna Shaikh ‏

69.6

69.7

140.43

@alaskadispatch - Alaska Dispatch

166.209

@Albela_Raahi - Muhammad Faizan

125.73

@alecbaldwin - AB

Account closed within minutes of posting the tweet cited below.

180.32

@alejanconnie - Connnnie Eskimo ‏

165.150

@aleneparr - Alene Parr ‏

4.66

27.51

38.32

43.14

43.45

43.48

45.6

46.32

46.39

46.52

48.38

113.14

164.111

164.152

165.70

165.101

165.108

165.130

166.98

166.131

168.47

172.35

174.15

@ales_kot - Ales Kot ‏

83.4

@AlessioSgherza - Alessio Sgherza

176.33

@Alex_N_Chains - Alex in Chains

Includes: ‏@AlexEverling - Alex in Chains

166.83

@alexblagg - Alex Blagg

72.151

‏@alexhern - Alex Hern

156.30

@AlexHortonTX - Alex Horton ‏

98.36

98.37

98.81

98.84

@alexia - Alexia Tsotsis ‏

123.64

136.84

@AlexOlesker - Alexander Olesker ‏

141.6

142.19

‏@AlexSteffen - AlexSteffen

67.7

67.8

67.9

74.36

77.3

86.4

86.5

87.8

87.9

131.42

131.43

133.68

Ali, Zaid

Zaid Ali was a special correspondent for the Los Angeles Times in Sana'a in 2013. No Twitter ID found for him on 25 December 2013 or 31 August 2015.

83.45

@Alias1on1 - Rhona

122.54

@alibaby90 - Ali ‏

21.11

35.22

107.112

118.30

170.52

@aliceschroeder - Alice Schroeder

125.79

@aliceysu - Alice Su ‏

161.10

161.24

161.25

161.26

@alinasmith - Alina Smith

9.43

@Alisaspeaks - A Bhattacharya ‏

74.42

@AlisonAgosti - Alison Agosti

62.40

‏@AllDayLLC - AllDay

26.10

‏@AllieTheOtherMe - AllisonChains

101.37

@AllInFunTX - Fucking Awesome ‏

118.47

@AllisonNazarian - Allison Nazarian

136.75

@Alllahdin - Aladdin!! ‏

111.24

@AllNewBMcD - MillHaus69 ‏

113.55

@AllTheUglyTruth - The Pretty Girl Swag‏

6.25

@allthingsd - AllThingsD

155.3

@allygucci - Ally ‏

142.8

‏@aloria - aloria

119.53

160.10

‏@AlphaBelle - Joan

38.63

@alwayzintruble - ρяιη¢єѕѕ мαѕσ¢нιѕт ‏

178.42

@amaniwf - The Doc. ‏

109.15

‏@AmberTozer - AmberTozer

105.4

@Amelia_Draws - QueenOfConfuzzle ‏

62.39

@ameliemx - ameliemx

112.119

@americandialect - Am. Dialect Society

48.49

@AmitChaudhuri - Amit Chaudhuri

23.7

44.10

92.19

@ammarakh - Ammara Khan ‏

4.80

171.3

@amuirin - amuirin

86.79

@Anais_Lea90 - Fleur DeLea

Includes: @anaislea90 - Lea

112.214

‏

@AnaliFirst - Lisa Johnson

110.117

110.118

‏@anammansuri - Anam Mansuri

103.4

103.5

103.8

@Anamore2011 - Morena ‏

113.89

@AncientProverbs

Includes: @Sports_HQ - Sports Motivation

141.53

@AndaleebRizvi - Andaleeb ‏

10.31

26.18

44.118

44.119

124.67

133.84

163.29

163.67

‏@andreascon - Andreas Constantinou

179.14

179.15

@andrewgutin - Andrew Gutin ‏

164.35

@andrewmonea - Andrew ‏

134.39

@andritweets - Andri Antoniades

110.24

@AndRyanTF - Ryan ‏

73.13

‏@andykhouri - Andy Khouri

108.35

@andylevy - Andy Levy ‏

16.15

44.153

69.49

‏@aneeshvkoshy - aneesh v koshy

37.10

@Angela8912 - Angela

27.84

@angelablack - angela black

Includes: @ange_black - angela black

72.98

@AngelaEhh - Angela ‏

174.31

@AngelinaAnnora - Angelina ‏

100.107

118.27

‏@angleofattack - Josh

126.5

@Angrea – AndreaSometimes; Angerson Cooper

42.54

44.152

71.23

119.22

166.233

@Angryman_UK - Angryman_UK

75.38

‏@angsuman - Angsuman Chakraborty

112.271

136.30

164.188

@ANI_news - ANI

166.33

‏@aniajakubek - ania jakubek

164.128

164.129

@AnisRakter - Anis Chenta ♥ ‏

166.269

@anjadrisch - Anja Drisch ‏

164.4

‏@anjeanettec - Anjeanette Carter

130.47

@Annaleen - Annalee Newitz

80.5

@Annekinns - Annee ‏

57.12

@Annoyedworld - Annoyedworld; AnnOyedworld

16.59

44.145

53.31

57.21

57.22

Anon at DLD 2013

35.6

Anonymous 4chan participant

12.27

27.80

27.81

27.82

Anonymous anarchist in a conversation on 4 May 2014.

109.68

Anonymous gallery guide, Seattle, 5 January 2014.

65.1

Anonymous rock musician in Caffé Vita, Capitol Hill, Seattle.

62.56

Anonymous sculptor

74.66

Anonymous techie interviewed in Seattle, 2013.

154.7

@AnonyOps - Anonymous ‏

162.1

@ANOPRAX - Audrey ‏

136.62

@anthmichcara - AMC ‏

98.40

98.49

@anthonypermal - Anthony Permal

137.3

‏@AntiCelebrity - Anti-Celebrity

56.40

‏@AnupamPkher - Anupam Kher

117.174

@aparnapkin - Aparna Nancherla ‏

4.5

44.32

72.16

72.93

81.29

101.23

110.65

110.76

112.93

117.137

118.67

123.54

128.57

139.47

163.47

163.134

‏@apatheticist - Jason Stillbourne

176.149

‏@Apdirtybird - ACD

108.34

‏@AphroditeAfter5 - Super Girl

41.9

‏@Applepuke - cool apple

69.148

‏@appliedhistory - James Hester

130.46

157.12

157.13

157.14

‏@apuga74 - MaMaBeAr6

166.241

166.242

@ArboretumFound - Arboretum Foundation

186.78

@ArchisMohan - Archis Mohan

44.98

@arcynta - Arcynta Ali Childs

118.171

@aRealLiveGhost - kimmy ‏

73.60

@aredridel - Aria Stewart ‏

166.96

‏@AreYouSaif - Saif Ali

125.28

‏@ariannahuff - Arianna Huffington

140.64

‏@ArifCRafiq - Arif Rafiq

178.52

@ariscott - Ari Scott ‏

134.36

169.62

‏@AristotlesNZ - Aristotles

58.18

73.85

76.12

76.33

112.223

117.81

117.95

118.102

124.55

166.326

Arnold, Karen

In 2013, Karen Arnold was an associate professor at the Educational Leadership and Higher Education Department at Boston College.Academic profile:  http://www.bc.edu/content/bc/schools/lsoe/facultystaff/faculty/arnold.html

130.82

130.83

@ArriannaMarie - Proteas & Magnolias ‏

132.2

@arrington - Michael Arrington

138.9

142.14

@Arrogant_Twat - Arrogant Twat ‏

39.9

@arstechnica - Ars Technica

67.11

@asalamafridi - Abdul Salam Afridi ‏

144.10

144.20

‏@ashgrash - Ashley Grashaw

62.17

69.140

104.8

112.226

113.93

166.380

@ashk4n - ashkan soltani

157.33

157.34

‏@ashley_barnhill - ashley barnhill ‏

100.6

100.35

104.18

‏@ashsultana - Ayesha

27.2

69.35

‏@Aspersioncast - Aspersioncast

16.39

20.28

21.20

27.4

30.74

38.45

42.27

42.53

44.55

44.239

45.30

46.27

54.4

62.8

73.86

86.18

105.60

110.78

111.52

113.124

117.22

118.64

118.77

118.146

125.98

140.48

166.346

175.7

@Asrojuan - ♥Maggie for Margaret

Includes: ‏@TabeticZombie - Momo Adachi

108.43

@asshat33 - Lint Trap

No Twitter account found with this ID on 19 February 2013.

27.45

39.25

108.24

117.31

165.190

@astepanovich - Amie Stepanovich

119.9

119.10

119.11

119.12

119.13

119.14

147.14

@asteris - Asteris Masouras 正义; Asteris Masouras عار ‏

15.15

15.18

15.20

15.22

161.8

@ASYusuf - Ahmed Urooj-Yusuf

44.103

‏@AthertonKD - Kelsey D Atherton

Includes: @the_boy - Kelsey D Atherton

9.14

15.10

82.11

83.6

83.8

83.9

83.67

84.9

86.6

123.33

125.110

135.1

165.55

176.7

176.196

@attackerman - Spencer Ackerman

156.26

@AurashKhawarzad - Aurash Khawarzad

No Twitter account with this ID found on 15 September 2013.

125.106

‏@austinkleon - Austin Kleon

112.150

@AuthenticWmGibs - Authentic Wm. Gibson ‏

27.90

@avaricious1 - who cares; Jt

20.30

‏165.32

166.199

166.213

‏@aveuaskew - Olivia

4.40

57.35

‏@awesomeseank - Sean Let Me Help

112.145

@AwhDiddyTweets - Mudder Fucker ‏

81.43

@awryaditi - Aditi Mittal ‏

140.26

@awryone - Josh Donoghue

On 30 September 2013 this tweet was found to have been deleted and the account was found to have experienced a change of control.

136.9

@Aya_Mahmoud - Aya Mahmoud ‏

111.146

@AyazAhmad001 - Ayaz Ahmad ‏

144.18

@B0MBS_ - Bombs ‏

Includes: ‏@CptBombs75 - Bombs

40.3

40.19

128.61

‏@BabaRamDass - Ram Dass

92.16

124.23

‏@BabetteJones - Rack on Tour

64.9

172.24

‏@BackToDust - Rough Hands

166.214

‏@Bacon_Ball - Bacon Ball

43.44

124.72

@BaconBoobs - Miss ‏

9.50

@badar76 - Badar Khushnood

124.106

164.6

@badbanana - Tim Siedell

30.53

45.12

62.5

72.5

72.82

72.116

73.63

74.28

81.13

86.46

87.21

96.4

96.5

100.42

100.64

104.41

104.46

108.39

117.2

122.50

123.109

125.14

137.1

137.37

137.44

@Bagyants - Artur ‏

9.38

21.9

38.36

44.224

53.26

57.23

64.18

69.77

69.110

70.5

87.17

104.39

107.48

112.48

113.82

123.29

123.42

124.49

124.95

125.99

130.27

130.31

133.59

134.21

134.119

139.2

139.4

164.45

169.65

172.6

172.52

176.126

177.22

@BAHjournalist - Brian A. Hernandez

180.33

@bailey - Bailey Siewert

140.12

@BaileysIrishTom - Tom ‏

6.24

@Bananapaper - Tim Kreider

140.72

Bangladeshi

Posted a comment to this article: "Aliens may destroy humanity to protect other civilisations, say scientists." By Ian Sample, The Guardian, guardian.co.uk, @guardian 18 August 2011.

84.7

@BarebakAssassin - Brandon ‏

44.187

166.362

166.410

@BarnabyHM - Kiwichettan

10.46

58.39

69.71

103.14

103.15

103.16

164.187

165.36

178.59

@bartongellman - Barton Gellman

157.31

157.32

@BarW38 - VunderBar ‏

44.40

119.85

166.266

180.30

@Bashfullsmile - Token_smile; Bash

43.4

46.14

56.10

58.3

58.30

73.18

81.44

101.41

139.29

165.30

165.122

174.14

176.15

@bathingsuitarea - BathingSuitArea ‏

104.64

110.82

176.112

@Batorichka - Samantha ‏

5.9

@batsly - Shane! ‏

73.54

Bauer, Peter Thomas; 1915–2002

125.11

@baycontaco - bacon taco ‏

107.18

@bazecraze - Alex Baze

38.60

57.15

74.14

100.27

100.29

100.43

104.101

105.44

110.20

110.96

117.55

117.179

163.23

163.56

172.37

178.39

@bbbethmccoll - ford ‏

100.83

176.1

‏@BBCory - BB Cory

169.23

@BBCtrending - BBC Trending

186.45

@BBCWorld - BBC News (World)

117.122

@bbprobably - Team Blah

Includes: @spraybottles - spraybottles

110.124

‏@BBQJones28 - Juan Two Three; Misha BBQJones

No Twitter account with this ID found on 4 October 2013.

44.63

103.58

136.111

@bdbdleeroybrown - Bad Bad Leeroy Brown

72.37

76.32

86.56

110.55

118.145

133.30

@BDGarp - Brian; bd

17.6

64.2

72.60

73.72

100.23

100.105

104.49

104.81

112.115

165.198

166.93

176.176

@BDUTT - barkha dutt ‏

46.3

@BeanFoxx - Bridgette ‏

30.36

‏@BeauBanter - HellNo Kitty

107.136

119.44

@beckam_pit_kid - kristian.chuck

30.71

@bedheadblonde - Bethamphetamine

On 13 July 2013 this Twitter account was found to have been de-activated.

104.69

117.212

@BedheadBunny - Some girl; BedheadBunny

9.7

125.16

125.91

@bedroombazooka - shane ‏

64.27

72.131

112.102

118.153

@BeenToHellPal - HeavensQuiteAClimb ‏

104.79

@BeerBatterBeard - Tyler

118.142

@behindyourback - passive aggressive

75.69

118.154

@beingtheo - Theodora Chester

39.17

43.10

71.14

71.32

73.19

94.2

104.74

111.79

112.170

112.243

133.56

134.22

134.83

164.98

165.117

170.15

176.92

@bellawonder - Wonder Russell

62.11

Bellow, Saul, 10 June 1915 – 5 April 2005

163.163

‏@Ben_Maguire - Ben

117.106

@bencnn - benwedeman

42.44

@bengreenman - Ben Greenman

51.3

63.23

76.5

@benicus_rex - ben ‏

57.5

69.62

69.103

136.20

165.85

176.67

176.96

176.117

‏@Benjamin4501 - Just_Ben_

9.19

@BenjaminCousins - Ben Cousins

124.96

@Benn_Dover - Benn

73.31

122.35

@benwizner - Ben Wizner ‏

153.14

‏@BernardKeane - Bernard Keane

27.66

144.9

@BeRealBlack4Me - Necessary Blackness ‏

166.312

@Berryhillj - John Berryhill ‏

112.257

@bertnews - Bert News ‏

109.78

@BertFlange - Bert‏

75.24

113.5

@bessyvegas - Bessy

5.24

‏@betowmx - Beto W.

164.172

@BettyLies - Polythene Spam; Susan; Susan G; Not Betty

101.18

102.13

107.25

112.61

112.253

113.37

124.62

128.35

‏@BevisSimpson - Tony homo

59.12

@BFriedmanDC - Brandon Friedman ‏

69.1

83.52

98.35

130.6

146.7

@bfriend - Bob Friend

87.15

@BGR - BGR

144.4

@bgzimmer - Ben Zimmer

48.48

@BhopalHouse - Faiza S Khan

105.4

Biff

59.14

74.6

186.1

@BigBec43 – Rebecca; Rebecca In Charge; Miss Stranger Danger

109.21

166.127

‏@BigMeanInternet - Mal Harris

116.21

134.117

‏@Bill_Gross - Bill Gross

140.8

‏@BillCorbett - BillCorbett

113.57

122.9

@BillGates - Bill Gates

141.8

‏@BillMc7 - Bill Mc7

10.13

10.14

103.44

116.37

118.18

118.116

136.87

165.112

171.21

@BillPutnamPhoto - Bill Putnam ‏

98.34

98.91

‏@bindupreddy - Bindu Reddy

27.16

74.67

‏@bintfilm - Nicole Ballivian

44.207

@biolawyer - JP

10.16‏

@biorhythmist - matt

59.8

41.10

69.69

69.126

72.6

72.12

81.40

87.19

96.6

112.133

136.109

140.22

166.50

‏@Birdo_Bloom - Timbojangals

98.68

@birdofyouth - bird of youth ‏

118.148

Birdwell, Aubrey

186.2

186.3

186.4

186.5

186.6

186.7

‏@BitchingMe - Bitch_In_Me

Includes: @Bitch_In_Me - Bitch_In_Me; @NeverYourBitch

4.53

44.248

100.59

111.61

111.63

113.19

117.57

118.54

122.49

164.191

165.66

166.67

‏@BitchyMcTits - Sugar Tits

109.83

‏@bitterlittleman - Bitter Little Man

38.33

@BittersweetJane - BittersweetJane ‏

101.5

@bizarre3angles - angel ‏

111.3

117.150

176.198

@BlackCoffeeCoop - Black Coffee

60.5

62.54

69.9

106.7

106.8

160.18

162.5

163.60

164.190

170.77

186.55

‏@blairblends - Dr. Taco

134.38

‏@BlairLoudly - Blair, Loudly

4.36

@blakehounshell - Blake Hounshell ‏

44.25

48.45

53.58

@blankslate - Alex

86.16

125.100

@Blarebare - BlarePapaBare; Blarebare

38.30

86.23

179.11

‏@BLAST_Manifesto - BLAST

164.15

@blaudiablogan - Claudia Cogan ‏

10.6

@bliccy - Nicole

109.59

111.46

@Blind_Brian - Brian ‏

156.23

‏@BlitznBeans - aaron blitzstein

113.104

@bllix - bllix ‏

Includes: @tinybllix, @loudbllix and @bllixodus

The second and third characters in bllix are lowercase letter Ls.

8.7

16.55

20.22

20.23

27.60

30.62

44.169

53.15

56.35

62.34

62.44

69.145

72.112

72.132

73.17

73.79

74.3

74.32

86.10

86.70

86.72

86.88

87.2

87.3

93.13

94.7

95.11

100.97

100.98

101.33

107.71

107.73

107.80

107.122

109.53

112.200

112.224

113.3

113.105

117.62

118.59

122.21

123.6

123.28

125.64

125.78

125.87

133.24

133.41

136.54

136.110

136.141

136.161

137.29

140.85

163.10

164.77

166.81

166.82

166.198

166.274

166.275

166.291

166.294

169.1

170.4

171.18

171.19

171.20

171.22

171.23

171.27

176.19

176.145

178.47

@BlogsofWar - Blogs of War ‏

146.5

@blondecalamity - Blonde Calamity ‏

69.125

@blondediva11 - blondediva11

The last two characters of her user name are the number eleven.

9.27

112.47

113.38

122.11

@BlondHousewife - Liz T. Goddess

72.42

105.21

@BloombergNews - Bloomberg News

125.80

@BloombergView - Bloomberg View

163.165

@Blue_Crab - Crab

38.29

75.44

75.73

110.84

117.83

119.41

129.15

165.149

‏@blumaberlin - Bluma Berlin

158.2

158.3

Blume, Harvey

20.6

‏@blunder_tweets - blunder rated

68.2

176.13

@BoardofWisdom - The Board of Wisdom

9.37

‏@bobbiejo448 - Viva La Moi

118.40

166.126

@boell_stiftung - HeinrichBöllStiftung

161.5

@bohemianfaith - Faith B. ‏

15.14

@BoingBoing - Boing Boing

126.4

@Boleyngirly - Michèle ‏

112.265

@BoloBhi - Bolo Bhi ‏

145.31

@bombscribe - bombscribe ‏

53.46

107.102

139.42

@bonisteel - Steven Bonisteel

72.27

‏@bonita_218 - Bonita

45.25

‏@Bonoboism - Bonoboism

125.72

‏@boobsareimplied - Little Bear

133.48

134.67

@Bookgirl96 - Kathleen Schmidt ‏

124.18

@Bookwiser - Dr. Desdemona

165.146

@BootsieTweets - BootsieTweets

9.25

‏@BorowitzReport - Andy Borowitz

78.13

117.154

165.114

170.36

178.23

@bossy_boots99 - Claudia ‏

166.232

@BostonGlobe - The Boston Globe

20.7

‏@Bottle_of_Death - kaonashi

166.123

@bouncingblonde - Bouncing Blonde

166.112

@bourbonmelikey - Jennifer; Bourby McBourbon

164.157

@BoweKnows - Travis Bowe

72.146

Bowles, Randy

106.5

106.6

@Brad_Spitts - Spitler

26.12

133.62

@BradBroaddus - Brad Broaddus

176.56

Bradbury, Ray

22 August 1920 – 5 June 2012

164.154

brain_drain

The identity of brain_drain is a mystery. Profile page on 28 August 2013: http://my.telegraph.co.uk/members/brain_drain/

118.37

122.46

@Brain_wash - Mr. Want; Mr. Won't

71.4

72.85

73.81

74.26

110.30

112.39

112.91

117.161

128.21

@brainpicker - Maria Popova

5.26

140.36

178.1

@BrainSeducer - Ahmed ‏

166.129

‏@brandsrock - Mike Joubert

117.7

@brandynwiththey - Brandyn MacDonald ‏

44.196

44.197

44.233

113.35

113.54

176.99

@BrekkeBlacksmth - Scott Davis

60.3

60.4

62.53

69.8

170.76

187.8

@brendankiley - brendankiley

107.43

162.7

@BrendanSasso - Brendan Sasso

156.9

@brendlewhat - brendle what ‏

63.11

82.3

124.109

128.47

133.52

@brendonwalsh - Brendon Walsh

42.8

@Brentweets - Brent Smith ‏

32.9

44.189

@brettryland - Brett Ryland ‏

112.27

164.49

@BrewedThoughts - Osama A. Hashmi

78.9

140.4

140.33

140.42

@briangaar - Brian Gaar ‏

29.8

35.15

35.26

44.198

46.9

59.10

84.13

105.33

105.45

105.46

106.2

111.31

111.103

112.209

113.85

133.2

165.145

@BrianGGibbs - 1366

43.34

@brianlayer - Brian Layer

74.60

117.208

117.209

139.22

141.1

141.55

‏@brianoleary - Brian O'Leary

153.17

@brianstelter - Brian Stelter ‏

124.56

@bridger_w - Bridger Winegar ‏

44.106

72.134

76.31

104.56

134.72

@bromethazine - whooping kafka ‏

81.24

92.9

‏@brookejarvis - Brooke Jarvis

124.94

140.25

172.22

172.23

‏@brookethehammer - Brooke T Jennings

48.9

Brooks, Max

@MaxBrooksUKnews

81.4

@BrothMan_BEEF - Bieber-Meinhoff gang ‏

130.20

Brown, Bob

In 2012, Bob Brown wrote for Network World @NetworkWorld, http://www.networkworld.com

49.1

@Bruce_Schneier - Bruce Schneier RSS

27.70

27.71

@brucebastarache - Bruce Bastarache ‏

176.139

@BruceFeiler - Bruce Feiler

113.63

@bruces - Bruce Sterling

77.2

Brunskill, Jonathan

Jonathan Brunskill in 2013 wrote for London Student @LondonStudent london-student.net

130.68

@brutalbird - Melicious ‏

166.403

180.29

‏@buck4itt - Buck

6.10

75.64

110.32

112.66

112.112

117.116

118.101

123.41

123.100

130.16

133.38

137.33

137.40

@bug_hugs - lauren

107.128

@bulls_horns - TJ Alley

43.9

170.22

@bungdan - Dan Murphy ‏

12.2

12.3

12.4

12.5

12.6

12.8

12.9

12.12

12.13

12.14

12.15

12.17

12.18

12.19

12.20

12.22

12.24

12.25

12.29

12.30

12.32

12.33

12.34

12.35

@Bunnydurden - Kim Farrell ‏

165.148

‏@burntmybagel - BagelGuy; Sparked_ ‏

43.71

175.18

@businessinsider - Business Insider

140.75

@Busocco - Dang ‏

69.52

@Butchhuff - Butch huff ‏

128.14

@buttsamillion - burgers johnson

166.397

176.95

@buzzbishop - Buzz Bishop ‏

48.2

@BW - Businessweek

120.3

121.4

‏@BW_Ellis - Brian W. Ellis

83.14

83.15

98.4

98.74

@bwreedbgr - Brad Reed

144.3

@ByeBlackbirdy - Emma ☮ ‏

44.49

123.43

@byronblurb - Not the Lord; da Blurb‏

5.25

10.8

23.33

30.31

30.70

35.32

40.22

44.44

44.200

74.10

74.34

86.7

86.90

112.121

116.23

118.19

118.53

163.68

163.107

164.112

166.53

170.38

175.3

176.28

178.26

178.68

@ByteForByte - Joseph Akbrud ‏

27.65

@CaffeVita - Caffe' Vita

61.6

62.57

‏@caidid - Caitlin Fitz Gerald

128.104

135.31

135.33

‏@caitlinmoran - Caitlin Moran

14.3

14.4

14.5

14.6

@CAKETENDO64 - CAKE SMOTH

Includes: @ALLCAPSHO - C A K E S ‏

53.11

109.48

109.56

113.71

129.13

165.200

@calamur - calamur ‏

44.174

112.146

117.191

176.191

@Calestous - Calestous Juma ‏

141.56

@Cali_Kid_Mike - Mike Rafone ‏

38.3

@calluptome - Craving

125.70

166.270

@CamillaFuhr - Camilla Fuhr ‏

15.21

15.25

‏@campsucks - Jenni Konner

4.46

‏@canadasandra - snowjob

166.35

166.36

@canadian_jane - BIG BERTHA

123.1

@CanadianCheri - selfproclaimedmuse ‏

180.5

Canazza (1428553) on @slashdot

74.39

@CanbeLonely - Their Dad ‏

63.17

@candrews on Identi.ca; Craig Andrews

136.22

@CandyCrisis - Candy Crisis

112.109

@CandyWarhole - who cupped my boobs?; Anita Doobie; Lani

73.55

75.71

107.46

117.16

‏@CapeTown_Girl - Alex van Tonder

9.31

124.87

@capitalweather - Capital Weather Gang ‏

42.11

@capricecrane - caprice crane

62.42

92.7

104.12

104.63

170.21

@captainsidcup - captain sidcup

117.91

118.22

163.64

‏@Carbosly - Carbosly

168.54

170.58

‏@carge77 - Seth Cargiuolo

133.6

136.28

136.29

‏@carlawh - Carla Whaat

30.21

118.62

@carlinf - Carlin Flora

111.112

@carlopiana - Carlo Piana

35.2

@Carter_TCB - Lone_Star ‏

30.90

124.54

168.32

@caseorganic - Amber Case

82.14

82.15

@cathjam - Catherine James ‏

135.26

‏@catholicmafia - Josephine

107.32

108.4

Cathryn

Comment poster on TechCrunch @TechCrunch

138.11

@catlikethiefx0 - Amanda Kylie ‏

Her Twitter ID ends in the number zero. No Twitter account with this ID found on 29 April 2013.

44.177

@CavedInwards - Caved Inwards ‏

168.45

@cazzawndruh - cassandra; Cassandra

55.14

‏133.31

@CBSThisMorning - CBS This Morning ‏

146.2

@CChristineFair - Christine Fair ‏

10.40

44.126

57.27

113.83

@cchukudebelu - Mwalimu; Onye Nkuzi

44.28

‏@CcSteff - Stephanie; Twittah_bigger ‏

69.117

108.18

117.151

117.153

123.111

139.8

@cdixon - Dixon, Chris

186.36

‏@cdncyn - mwlredie

134.123

@ceejoyner - Ceej ‏

76.15

105.20

@CelebYouTaunt - Randolph Duke

165.131

‏@CelticMoonDance - Celtic Moondance

6.47

44.279

111.145

166.292

@centrepompidou - CentrePompidou

66.9

@CertifiablySane - CertifiablySane

Includes: ‏@Crazedcrazy - Idontgiva McFuck; Certifiably Sane

118.164

‏166.301

169.43

@cervixsmash - UHH ‏

168.27

@CFR_org - CFR

141.44

@Ch8rming - This Charming Man

73.1

118.138

123.97

139.50

@Channel11News - Channel11News

104.89

‏@Channel4 - Channel 4

151.4

@ChanSteele - Chandra Steele ‏

51.2

‏@ChapmanAnna - Anna

166.204

166.206

166.207

‏@charlie_simpson - EM Simpson

98.9

98.66

98.71

98.82

@charliearchy - Charles Davis

116.22

134.126

171.5

‏@charlierose - Charlie Rose

146.3

@charstarlene - char

102.17

163.82

@che1908 - caleb b ‏

83.42

98.26

98.45

@cheeky_dre - Cheeky Dre ‏

5.17

32.14

133.7

Cheema, Amar

Published in the Journal of Consumer Research.

140.81

‏@Cheeseboy22 - Abe

44.275

‏@Chel__CLE - SeaChel

45.34

‏@Chelsea_Elle - Chelsea Elle

53.6

75.4

75.56

169.22

@ChelseaVPeretti - Chelsea Peretti ‏

46.31

64.28

‏@ChemBtwnUs - ChemFickenDammt

174.26

@chemingineer - K.Sahasranaman

140.40

ChicagoBob on @HuffingtonPost

104.90

‏@Chicken_Hawk38 - Carlos

112.17

@chiefsanjay - Sanjay Arora

85.1

85.3

@ChiefTwittler - Chief Twittler; Chief Galia Mango

56.33

117.126

@chileanwinter - Jonathan Franklin

156.17

@chinchillasex - rosalia ‏

166.353

@chinkis - Chinki Sinha

117.101

@chitenniscoach - _fuzzy_balls

43.39

‏@CJFWeatherhead - Chris Weatherhead

162.12

162.13

@ChMadar - Chase Madar

150.4

157.22

@chocolakai - Gary Mastron

74.62

Chödrön - Pema

164.100

@chopper4jk - Chopper; Stuckinthezipper

27.14

27.38

40.13

43.20

43.60

43.65

46.10

46.15

57.9

57.13

64.6

71.10

73.23

73.26

104.80

111.4

111.94

118.165

124.7

136.155

141.26

166.192

176.185

180.3

@Chris_TR - Chris T.R. ‏

64.30

69.46

76.34

86.32

86.33

86.45

163.3

‏@Chris1966 - Chris Linthwaite

12.23

‏@chrisanna4real - Chrisanna4real

10.10

30.42

71.39

103.39

110.121

111.7

113.88

117.20

118.13

163.73

165.67

166.11

166.40

166.115

166.268

173.1

@chrisbrogan - Chris Brogan

164.184

@chrisdelia - Chris D'Elia ‏

9.41

42.29

53.16

141.13

@chrismessina - Chris Messina™

48.3

@christiannetag - christi taggart ‏

73.48

@christianrudder - Christian Rudder

166.32

@chrisviccaro - Christopher Viccaro ‏

118.140

@ChromaGeddon - Chroma Geddon ‏

4.3

48.22

63.21

63.22

76.4

112.184

117.64

122.63

128.36

165.102

@chuckpantalones - Charliepantzz ‏

38.11

56.24

‏@CindyMeakin - ~CINDY~ ‏

123.81

168.61

@ciopk - CIO Pakistan ‏

133.86

‏@Citibank - Citibank

42.9

@CitzenAlex - Lucas Ginn

152.5

@Civilian_Wolf - Tim

Includes: @Ambushing_wolf - Timbo H ‏

98.31

98.43

98.56

98.59

98.73

@cjchivers - C.J. Chivers ‏

157.43

‏@cjschaefer - Cameron Schaefer

136.27

@ckaratnytsky - ChristineKaratnytsky ‏

128.85

@ClakeBent - BCK ‏

110.34

@claire_mudie - Claire Mudie ‏

107.93

@Clare_innit - Glitter Clunge; Miss Treated

40.5

40.10

46.29

176.104

Clarke, Arthur C.

16 December 1917 – 19 March 2008

84.1

‏@clarkekant - Clarke Kant

4.57

16.30

16.34

16.45

71.13

72.95

72.101

72.123

72.141

75.35

111.25

111.81

112.101

113.27

113.43

117.15

119.23

119.30

119.72

125.66

133.40

134.90

134.131

136.7

136.150

163.38

164.42

166.394

@ClashBang - Liza Clashington ‏

166.304

@ClassicMegan - The white Precious

69.102

72.51

@Classy_Cassy89 - Classy Cassy ‏

27.23

44.39

44.245

111.26

111.118

136.88

163.161

166.311

169.3

169.29

170.39

176.98

178.22

@claychristensen - Clayton Christensen ‏

141.7

@ClearlysSister - Clearly's Sister ‏

139.41

@ClearlyUnwell - Clearly Unwell ‏

40.29

44.234

113.52

163.113

178.53

@clevelanddotcom - Clevelanddotcom

125.35

‏@clindsaysway - Thigh High; Charlottabad

Includes: @clindsaystone - Charlottabad ‏

38.7

40.38

41.14

56.34

58.29

105.62

133.51

‏@clington - clinton john

21.7

44.138

45.2

165.76

@CloserProds - Carlos Montiel

109.13

@cloudcm - Cloudypiano

91.1

113.10

119.2

124.44

124.82

163.109

‏@cluedont - cluedont

136.14

‏@Cmdr_Hadfield - Chris Hadfield

80.15

@CMPLY - CMP.LY

51.6

@CNET - CNET

53.51

@CoachLee - Leanne Hoagland-Smith

136.47

@Coastiefish - Ron Mexico

27.18

38.40

75.5

107.45

123.10

123.70

133.65

171.7

@CoatCzech - Steve Demitra ‏

69.139

@codebutler - Eric Butler ‏

87.23

@CodyLestelle - Cody Lestelle

160.19 – numbered out of sequence

160.20 – numbered out of sequence

‏@cognited - Kay

85.13

Cohen, Richard

Richard Cohen wrote for the Washington Post in 2013.

111.40

‏@coldlippdheresy - Jenna Violence

118.132

‏@Colinfreeze - Colin Freeze

156.8

@comedyfish - comedyfish ‏

107.114

@ComedyOfJonesy - Comedy of Jonesy

Appears to have twittercided in 2012.

100.24

@commala1999 - Missy

No Twitter account with this ID found on 23 May 2013.

69.135

100.14

128.29

@conanobrienswyf - Meg Abbitch

109.6

@Condre3000 - Connor ‏

124.30

@ConfusedLush - Scotched Rinker; Lushy Warpole

Account was taken down and a new one appeared on 14 February 2013 with this screen name, ID, biography and stats on 25 February 2013: Beans @confusedlush My favorite beer is beer. Location: Canada. 4 tweets. 12 following. 7 followers. Is the new account from the old author?

30.68

73.16

117.138

125.103

@conor64 - Conor Friedersdorf ‏

153.1

154.17

@ConorTripler - Conor Tripler ‏

44.107

‏@Cool_Jesse - Rainbow Brite

69.18

166.347

@coracurrier - Currier, Cora

186.10

@CorComm - John Corbett ‏

67.4

67.6

@CordeliaHeb - Hebblethwaite, Cordelia

186.44

@CoreyNotKori - Corey G.

Includes: @KoriRene - Corey G. ‏

4.18

44.136

62.48

72.118

73.91

166.381

168.33

168.36

‏@Corleown - Johnny Marijuanaseed; Corleown

5.22

125.82

175.8

@Cornfed210 - Janelle ‏

No Twitter account with this ID found on 23 August 2013.

27.44

116.35

118.100

@CorruptConcrete - Raj

Includes: @rraajj4u - raj

117.41

@cosmictits - روح

Includes: @titsm0nster - ☠Riley☠ ‏

122.19

@courteneyh - Courteney Hocking ‏

166.255

@courtneyme109 - courtneyme109 ‏

83.10

186.93 – out of sequence

@Coy0teUgly - CoyoteUgly

30.66

69.136

@cpinck - Chris Pinckney

69.86

72.57

110.105

@CrackedIllusion - Pedro ‏

113.113

@craigtimberg - Craig Timberg

157.40

@CranberryPerson - Jason

No account with this Twitter ID found on 6 September 2013.

122.3

‏@CrankyPappy - CrankyPappy; C®ankyPappy‏

38.22

113.116

134.97

140.31

164.174

‏@crassmama - Ms Mayhem; Meaghan Mayhem

73.46

73.93

75.57

104.21

104.98

163.150

169.2

@cravenheart - Peter

Account found on 15 June 2013 to have been abandoned by Peter and re-opened by someone with the screen name of Chris Moore, an egg avi and no bio.

72.94

75.55

@crayan9 - Rayan. ‏

128.31

@craydrienne - Adrienne Airhart ‏

112.142

@crazylikeanox - Angry Angry Hippos‏

86.71

‏@CrispinBurke - Crispin J. Burke

30.54

44.213

98.8

98.72

98.75

98.76

98.89

117.199

117.210

130.66

130.67

133.78

145.26

145.27

186.8

@crispycracka - Christy Ann

123.99

@Crommunist - Crommunist ‏

15.3

15.12

15.13

@Crosscut - Crosscut

127.2

@CroweJam - JD Crowe

122.65

@Cryptomeorg - Cryptome

154.8

‏@cryptopchick - Stephers

48.20

@csoghoian - Christopher Soghoian ‏

152.15

156.4

156.25

158.18

@CTVNews - CTVNews

112.277

@ctvottawa - CTV Ottawa ‏

112.276

@CuddlyNinja - Schrodinger's Dog

On 13 September 2013 this Twitter account was found to have been disabled. Screen name on 13 September 2013: Rory Holderness

125.39

141.38

@CueballHead - Michael ‏

53.20

‏@Cuntemplate - Greta Clue

166.74

‏@cupcakesnsimone - Simone van Buuren

166.240

@CuriouslyWander - E Simpson

108.19

@curlymalloy - vaudeville vamp

43.74

‏@CurvyCrumpet - Delicious Ms Dee!

108.37

@cyanidecynic - Original Cyn ‏

165.127

‏@cybertheorist - Jason

83.1

117.70

@cyclingsultan - AM

Includes: @delhisultan - AM ‏

44.95

44.246

@CynicalJess - Jessica

122.69

@cynicanoldicus - Paul ‏

27.61

@cynicdoc - Sapien Life Form; Chronic Cynic ‏

16.26

118.44

@cynicuhl - Chronic Cynic ‏

118.150

‏@Cynner777 - Cynnerland

46.18

108.25

113.25

@CyriaqueLamar - Cyriaque Lamar

4.76

‏@D_healer - DONNA

100.31

@d88pdive - Amar Mahboob ‏

No Twitter account with this ID found on 8 October 2014.

176.180

@DadBeard - This is Rice

73.53

@DaddyNick - Daddy Nick

On 4 May 2013 this Twitter account was found to have been abandoned and then reopened on 12 April 2013 by someone else.

46.44

118.93

@DadsAwake - Mike

No Twitter account with this ID found on 1 August 2013.

111.51

@Daily_Express - Daily_Express

112.233

@DailyKerouac - Daily Kerouac ‏

138.8

@DalaiLama - Dalai Lama ‏

16.16

@Dalton_NC - Dalton ‏

124.19

137.23

@damagednerd - The Nerdist ‏

35.29

42.28

165.87

@DamienFahey - Damien Fahey ‏

101.15

106.9

@damnjustkelly - Kelly ♈ ‏

44.54

@DanaJGould - Dana Gould

111.58

163.137

‏@dangillmor - Dan Gillmor

157.39

@DanielGulati - Daniel Gulati

177.12

177.13

177.14

177.15

177.16

@dannydogmouth - DannyDogMouth ‏

166.84

@DannyMcH2O - Brother Rabbit ‏

101.64

‏@DannyZuker - Danny Zuker

35.24

73.51

104.11

111.44

‏@DanOverHere - Dany

55.5

110.77

118.11

118.36

170.32

176.188

@DanSackheim - Dan Sackheim ‏

112.107

166.305

@DareDarilyn - Dare ‏

104.83

‏@Darek - darek

83.5

‏@daria_1024 - Daria

130.35

165.40

168.4

@DarthBash - Darth Bash

No Twitter account with this ID found on 13 September 2013.

125.50

‏@DarthNull - David Schuetz

156.15

‏@daveaitel - daveaitel

153.15

@daveanthony - daveanthony

105.36

@DaveTheAlbino - Dave ‏

166.310

@davetotheross - Dave Ross ‏

166.22

@david_liebehart - David Liebe Hart

124.58

@DavidBCollum - Dave Collum ‏

130.12

@davidblairdt - David Blair

158.10

@DavidForbes - David Forbes

125.15

@davidhoang - David Hoang ‏

42.43

53.43

62.49

62.50

69.4

80.21

87.5

107.65

107.134

111.19

113.98

117.125

123.22

123.23

164.69

@davidisnotright - David

79.1

‏@DavidKlein5 - David Klein

134.68

‏@davidsteven - David Steven

10.33

83.70

125.12

133.36

134.15

165.49

@dawn_com - Dawn Media Group

29.10

139.56

‏@DaxFrost - Dax Frost

166.349

176.74

@dbhaglund - David Haglund

107.75

@dbmoore - Dennis Moore ‏

137.25

@DDDBU - D

On 4 February 2013 no Twitter account found with this ID.

72.89

101.54

102.37

104.67

104.100

@ddefraia - Daniel DeFraia

166.208

@ddscrap - ddscrap; D

Includes: @heartlessX0 - D

6.40

30.45

92.12

109.73

118.72

134.132

141.68

166.238

174.7

@DeanOkay - Dean

Includes: ‏@daplusk – Dean; Dino

55.3

72.30

75.58

109.79

109.88

124.84

125.57

166.355

@DearAnyone - Artie Johann

87.14

100.88

104.87

113.32

122.52

@DeathFixation - Killakillakilla ‏

48.34

113.96

134.135

@DeathStarPR - Death Star PR

82.9

86.3

86.58

@debihope - tenacious d.; notorious d.e.b.

72.29

100.12

119.33

122.73

124.80

@debraso - Debra Ollivier

111.135

@declanm - Declan McCullagh ‏

53.49

53.50

@declanwalsh - Declan Walsh

10.41

10.42

105.2

@Deconile - Guess

69.127

@deepd1ve - Amar X ‏

No Twitter account with this ID found on 8 October 2014.

178.50

@deepersreport - Denise Puga ‏

110.69

‏@DeepSigh_ - Tracey; the Creeping Cougar; tna

No Twitter account with this ID found on 10 May 2013.

110.6

111.34

111.127

112.178

118.115

165.84

165.105

166.318

178.19

‏@defdanielle - Danielle

111.15

176.116

@DefeatedDiva - Defeated Diva; Jamie Holcomb

103.55

DeGeorge, Nicholas

82.16

82.17

85.10

186.13

186.14

186.15

186.16

186.17

187.2

@delfie - delfie

117.49

117.120

118.46

122.58

122.66

@DelhiDean - Dean Nelson

44.69

@DelhiDurbar - Delhi Durbar

44.99

Demarais, Ann

111.114

@demi_md7 - Demi

Includes: ‏@dee_md7 - Dee

172.27

@DemJournal - Democracy Journal

37.8

128.112

Denise

A piano teacher. No last name given.

60.1

61.1

62.28

@DepecheALAmode - Kyle H ‏

100.108

165.184

Depp, Johnny

163.154

‏@depreciated - Chipster

176.54

@derekasaurus - derekasaurus

72.2

72.32

117.50

124.52

‏@DerHerrMueller - Herr Müller

158.7

158.9

Der Kosmonaut

186.18

186.19

186.20

186.21

186.22

186.23

186.24

186.25

186.26

186.27

186.28

186.29

186.30

186.31

186.32

186.33

186.34

186.35

186.85

186.86

186.87

186.88

186.89

186.90

186.91

186.92

@desi_princess - Desi Princess

123.37

@designersays - designersays ‏

Includes: @designertalks - designertalks

53.17

105.53

110.27

111.123

113.16

122.5

133.39

136.5

165.163

@DesignUXUI - Design UX/UI ‏

133.100

@DesireMaze - Suruchi ‏

111.98

128.98

@DesolateCranium - Capt Obvious ‏

48.29

112.222

‏@devincf - Devin Faraci

108.33

@devinleonard - devin leonard

120.2

121.3

@dexton7 dexton7 ‏

86.87

@dgouldin - David Gouldin ‏

59.13

155.13

‏@dgphotos - Naghmeh

35.27

48.19

48.33

166.113

166.114

166.136

169.26

169.27

169.63

170.5

@dharmesh - Dharmesh Shah

164.163

@DianaValerie - DianaValerie ‏

12.21

12.26

@dickc - dick costolo

117.121

@dictionarycom - Dictionary.com

145.2

@DieLaughing - J. Adam Moore

69.82

‏@diemnstr - Brandon Ivers

44.43

@dietschweppes - Adam Matonic ‏

21.5

62.46

107.10

113.67

163.88

@DilliBelle - Namelass ‏

23.25

111.74

@DilliDurAst - Shivam Vij ‏

44.280

128.40

@dirkiseun - Dirk Agenbag ‏

100.113

@Dirty_Naomi - YourThighness ‏

69.152

‏@DirtyMelodies - Angela J.

111.43

176.101

@DirtyPoncho - Eric ‏

113.107

@DirtyPreston - Preston Olson ‏

40.8

@disastrous007 - ThisBitchRightHere

Her Twitter ID (with an 'e') was @disasterous007 through at least 18 February 2011. It is included without notation below.

38.4

44.60

102.21

110.36

110.74

112.186

125.69

@DiscoLemonKayy - Mudblood ‏

6.44

44.56

58.36

75.46

101.45

113.34

117.163

117.175

133.55

141.27

163.58

164.118

166.43

166.202

166.373

@discomaulvi - AlyB

117.124

@Discourt - Courtney

16.40

73.5

@Disiam - the Illusion ‏

112.246

@DisneyPixar - Disney•Pixar

164.146

@disneywords - Disneywords ‏

112.283

142.28

@disruptivedean - Dean Bubley ‏

54.13

119.45

119.46

119.47

119.48

119.50

136.49

136.117

136.118

136.119

136.120

136.121

136.124

136.125

136.126

136.127

137.20

@distributedcog - Conatus ‏

131.54

@DitaVonTeese - Dita Von Teese

111.134

@ditzkoff - Dave Itzkoff

8.2

@DivorceDiva - divorce diva ‏

53.23

@dixiedarlin_RN - Kat ‏

72.53

@dizzyidjit - recordstoregurl

123.21

176.125

178.14

‏@DJhouseNigga - Hoodrat

No Twitter account found with this ID on 6 December 2013.

166.139

‏@djr_102 - Vanilla

43.24

176.132

‏@DJRotaryRachel - rachel lichtman

87.20

110.7

117.61

@DLDConference - DLD Conference

33.3

35.7

@DocBrown21 - Ryan Brown ‏

170.29

@doctoratlarge - The Bad Doctor; doctor at large ‏

6.1

23.34

27.5

30.33

41.2

44.13

44.84

44.85

44.86

44.87

44.111

51.1

56.31

56.32

71.1

71.2

74.5

74.25

81.5

83.68

100.85

103.72

103.73

105.57

110.38

110.39

110.73

112.147

112.192

112.193

112.267

117.5

117.6

117.9

122.18

124.37

137.12

139.40

165.95

165.139

165.186

166.196

171.14

176.187

@Doctrine_Man - Doctrine Man

117.211

@Dog_Marriage - a frandly ghost ‏

86.80

@doingitwrong - Tim Maly

38.69

57.37

@dolanster - Tom Dolan

109.67

‏@dolarhyde - Greg Russell

20.21

@DollyHumbert - cassie ‏

128.13

128.23

‏@DomainIncite - Kevin Murphy

136.1

136.40

136.41

142.5

@domAlvares - Dominic Alvares ‏

92.26

@domesticH - freckle face ‏

101.51

@donni - donni; Donni Saphire

4.8

4.58

4.59

4.60

16.53

16.54

16.57

19.11

23.31

27.62

27.89

28.3

30.79

30.93

40.2

43.47

44.5

44.6

44.19

44.110

44.199

47.4

68.13

68.14

68.15

72.17

72.24

72.36

72.44

72.49

72.71

72.108

73.8

73.45

73.47

73.71

73.73

73.76

73.83

75.3

75.36

75.53

75.80

76.8

76.9

76.11

78.7

86.1

86.12

86.22

86.34

86.35

86.95

86.98

86.102

86.103

86.104

87.6

88.3

89.3

90.5

90.9

90.11

93.3

101.32

102.37

104.27

104.34

104.82

107.54

107.62

107.63

107.85

107.95

107.105

109.46

109.47

109.49

109.51

110.83

111.5

111.95

112.139

112.182

112.189

112.208

112.251

113.9

113.50

113.59

116.5

116.27

117.1

118.23

122.68

123.8

123.11

123.45

124.90

124.93

125.53

125.60

125.105

130.17

130.44

130.48

133.45

133.46

133.60

133.63

133.93

134.31

134.35

134.48

134.73

134.118

136.53

136.80

136.134

139.36

141.4

163.2

163.30

163.53

163.61

163.72

163.110

163.130

163.131

164.31

164.38

164.61

166.25

166.45

166.147

168.12

172.40

176.53

176.161

180.31

@DONTJIMMYMEJULZ - Julz Millar

69.80

107.21

118.152

123.20

139.21

@Dorkstar - Dorkstar ‏

69.149

118.5

@dosesofneurosis - bee ‏

No Twitter account with this ID found on 7 April 2013.

40.17

111.80

112.29

118.137

118.159

122.39

123.82

128.55

137.36

139.26

164.56

‏@DosieDoe - Dosie'sRandomThought

112.69

@DoubtTommy - DoubtingThomas ‏

118.7

@DoucheMcBaggus - Douché!; D. McBaggus

46.16

111.70

‏@DougSaunders - Doug Saunders

9.52

@Dove - Dove

111.12

@dozba - Ted Dziuba ‏

81.19

@DrAwab - Awab Alvi ‏

44.260

144.13

@DrawingShadows - Matt ‏

42.33

53.47

‏@DrCowboyBlog - David Grey

163.118

@DreamersWake - Kyle; Kyle Wake

113.39

@DreamExplosive - Stephanie Disaster ‏

44.113

173.3

@drmardy - Dr Mardy Grothe

112.281

164.139

@dropdeadchris - dropdeadchris

105.8

117.74

@DrSalmanAsif - Salman Asif

103.18

‏@DrTwittenheimer - Dr. Twittenheimer

107.84

@DrunkSocialite - Brendan Jaharis

109.37

@drvdiller - Vivian Diller, Ph.D.

112.235

‏@dtipson - Drew Tipson

146.1

‏@DukeOfOyl - Earl

39.20

40.23

@DumbNOTDeaf - Kyle

30.52

Durkee, Edward

64.3

186.63

‏@dvoted_hubsand - ULTRA HEART COMBO

86.62

‏@dypriyank - Priyank

74.27

@DzirhanDefence - Dzirhan Mahadzir ‏

117.128

@e_flux - e-flux

66.6

@e_Rodriguez_ - eRod ‏

38.56

@Eagle_Vision - Eagle Vision

109.85

@EarningsScout - The Earnings Scout ‏

134.109

@earthboundandbw - Lise

117.146

@EastKentTom - EastKentTom ‏

112.163

134.33

138.13

‏@Easy_Tiger__ - Easy Tiger

43.70

‏@eatmywords - Eat My Words

173.8

@EBernsteinWSJ - Elizabeth Bernstein

74.50

@ebertchicago - Roger Ebert

41.17

@Eccentricandhow - Eccentricandhow

69.10

94.6

101.30

103.65

111.99

119.3

133.35

141.3

@EchoOfIndia - Echo Of India

42.1

44.75

@echoVista - Jay ‏

27.48

39.24

‏@ecorno2 - Ecornuto; *ecorno*

17.5

44.151
116.45

163.37

166.252

176.141

178.32

@edshow - Ed Schultz

130.90

@EdwinaCrumple - Cindy ‏

165.60

@edwlynchcm - EDW Lynch

178.3

@EEPublishing - E&E Publishing, LLC

141.45

@EFF - EFF

150.3

@efyrtscw - Justin Sane

42.16

172.34

@EhhBartt - Angela ‏

118.113

‏@El_nacho_Nigre - El nacho Nigré

137.4

137.34

173.9

@elhelwy - Yousif El Helw

104.44

104.45

125.21

‏@Elifcello - Elif Celet

43.52

Elijah

of the Riseup Collective, riseup.net @riseupnet

160.15

@EliseRose5 - Mediocre Marvel ‏

117.35

‏@ElizaBayne - Eliza Bayne

30.55

@Elizacal - Just E ‏

165.64

165.196

@elizaflemingbt - Eliza B-T ‏

15.5

15.7

@ella__fraser - Ella Fraser ‏

Two underscore marks appear in @ella__fraser

134.62

@ellerybiddle - Ellery Biddle

161.4

161.19

@ElliottBayBooks - Elliott Bay Book Co.

112.240

@elonmusk - Elon Musk

140.50

140.51

@elsaPelsjas - Pelsjas

4.2

4.6

4.31

4.69

6.5

10.29

17.2

27.50

28.9

30.12

30.64

30.78

38.19

38.41

38.55

40.4

40.39

41.1

42.36

43.7

43.38

44.108

44.112

44.229

45.17

45.38

45.40

46.1

46.11

46.24

46.25

46.26

48.21

49.4

53.27

54.6

55.6

55.7

55.10

59.16

62.30

67.12

69.23

69.44

69.51

69.78

69.113

73.59

73.78

75.27

76.30

78.16

81.22

86.25

93.8

93.9

100.56

101.4

101.26

101.60

103.33

103.51

104.7

104.22

105.28

105.56

107.55

107.56

107.58

107.66

107.109

107.113

107.124

108.5

108.41

108.46

109.25

109.43

109.54

109.55

109.64

109.87

110.8

110.54

110.87

110.90

110.103

110.129

111.16

111.141

112.14

112.85

112.100

112.199

112.201

112.210

113.41

113.56

116.39

117.14

117.87

117.194

117.205

118.4

118.14

118.48

118.65

118.96

118.104

118.107

118.112

118.123

118.158

122.12

122.14

122.47

122.75

123.19

124.10

124.12

124.14

124.59

124.73

124.79

124.117

125.18

125.84

128.18

129.12

129.25

133.53

134.34

134.44

134.46

134.52

134.66

134.81

134.87

134.129

136.52

136.73

139.5

139.13

163.43

163.50

163.81

163.92

163.142

163.144

163.147

163.152

164.21

164.87

164.109

164.131

164.170

164.182

164.183

166.164

166.187

166.194

166.200

166.217

166.239

166.248

166.306

166.405

168.17

168.23

168.24

168.37

168.51

168.58

169.20

169.47

169.64

170.25

170.27

170.35

171.6

172.8

172.25

172.28

176.120

176.129

176.143

@ElSnarkistani - El Snarkistani; Gary Owen ‏

Includes: @Sunny_In_Kabul; @GWOT_Hipster - Gary Owen

21.21

98.27

98.47

98.48

98.62

118.91

165.42

165.58

165.141

166.1

@eluna333 - Elena Dentata ‏

4.16

30.89

72.20

104.5

‏@emceej - emceej

4.67

166.377

166.382

‏@EmeraldClitty - Emmy

75.22

@emiliawrites - Emily Manuel ‏

105.7

@emirkr - emir ke.

95.5

104.54

@EMPmuseum - EMP Museum

80.1

80.7

80.20

81.2

81.48

106.3

106.4

‏@emzbulletproof - emzbulletproof

134.69

@EpicureanDeal - Epicurean Dealmaker ‏

121.5

121.6

@epipheo - Epipheo

142.16

178.6

@equalitytrust - The Equality Trust

127.3

@Eric_Bader - Eric Bader ‏

4.45

‏@Eric_Nikiforov - Eric

86.39

86.41

@EricaTheThor - Erica Thordarson ‏

100.21

107.16

Erichsen, Gerald

69.14

@EricGlatt - Interns ≠ Free Labor

131.22

131.23

@ericjackson - Eric Jackson

36.2

36.4

‏@erickomans - Eric Komans

23.4

53.34

@ErikLoomis - Erik Loomis ‏

172.21

@EricMarten - Eric Martin

Includes: @BadAdviceNurse - Eric Martin

72.117

82.2

86.94

109.74

134.17

@ericrice - Eric Rice ‏

42.5

@ericroest - Eric Roest

45.18

@ericsshadow - Loco Eric ‏

180.26

‏@erinmcunningham - Erin Cunningham

135.9

@erintothemax - Erin Matson ‏

110.114

‏@Eris - Eris Stassi ‏

163.8

@erlsn - Errolson Hugh

100.63

‏@ErrataRob - Robert David Graham

145.11

154.2

@errows - Atul Dev

165.18

@ErsatzMoe - Moe

No Twitter account with this ID found on 23 August 2013.

116.11

@EsraaMamdu7 - Esraa Mamdouh

168.43

@EssBarraclough - Simon Barraclough ‏

138.1

‏@etharkamal - Ethar El-Katatney

24.5

74.22

111.133

124.28

133.85

174.18

174.19

@eTHEgoddess - The Goddess ‏

30.15

44.42

44.146

44.159

44.226

118.80

128.38

@etribune - The Express Tribune

10.55

103.6

112.234

euangray

Posted a comment to this article: "Aliens may destroy humanity to protect other civilisations, say scientists." By Ian Sample, The Guardian, guardian.co.uk, @guardian 18 August 2011.

84.6

@EurasiaReview - Eurasia Review

160.5

160.6

@everylilthing - Abbey 5¢; Hushpuppy 5¢

9.28

100.126

111.122

111.125

117.68

@EveryTweet_Ever - Every Tweet Ever ‏

Created and written by @ChrisSerico

30.28

166.66

166.99

176.91

@evgenymorozov - Evgeny Morozov ‏

2.2

33.7

48.4

124.100

145.6

154.3

@evilmensuck - Heather ‏

No Twitter account with this ID found on 12 May 2013.

166.58

166.178

166.183

170.60

172.4

@EvilPandaX - E. Panda X ‏

118.133

‏@evo8X8 - da vincian

117.152

@evrythingmustgo - Larry Carlat; LC

Publicly twittercided in 2011.

72.65

88.1

111.147

112.120

123.14

164.62

164.64

@Exclusive001 - Bacon Ball ‏

39.22

166.375

@ExcuseMeMandi - Amanda Awesomeness ‏

124.29

‏@ExcuseMyTweets - Master Shake

27.15

116.9

164.23

@expertetiquette - Lyudmila Bloch

136.45

@ExploringUrMind - UCMEICU2 ‏

10.7

43.42

165.138

‏@EyeKaDoctor - Eye Doctor

10.39

@F5X11 - Gym ‏

The last two characters of @F5X11 form the number eleven.

27.32

@fabiana_sofia - Fabiana Sofia Perera

117.127

@facciabella - Sherry ‏

56.25

72.62

105.22

107.26

111.140

136.89

‏@fadesingh - फेडसिंह

95.9

96.2

@FaisalAdam_ - Faisal Adam; Faizzy!

2.1

30.65

69.74

69.153

110.98

165.88

@faisalqureshi - Faisal Qureshi ‏

45.21

‏@faitherina - Faith E. Korpi

32.18

62.2

@FakeMe__ - Fake Me ‏

178.25

@FakeMe4Ever - Joe Fake ‏

57.19

@Faking_Art - Ashe DeTartaros ‏

166.246

@Fallun_Angel - Fallun Angel ‏

134.51

@FannyB1tch - FannyBitch

58.24

107.50

112.272

@farghal - farghal ‏

43.1

164.46

164.47

@farhanmasood - Farhan Masood

74.38

‏@farihaak - Fariha Akhtar

163.155

@farleftcoast - farleftcoast ‏

68.20

112.198

123.94

130.38

134.127

137.39

165.203

171.16

175.20

@fart - jon hendren ‏

43.55

@fartlambrusco - fart lambrusco

Includes: @artpablosco

122.31

‏@fasi_zaka - Fasi Zaka

83.73

@FastCompany - Fast Company

40.34

140.29

@FAT_Pak - FAT Official ‏

On 11 January 2015 this account was found to have experienced a change of control, with all tweets in Russian.

62.23

‏@FatalDalliance - Squidney

166.286

‏@Fauxgyptian - Andy El-Zayaty

9.8

129.18

Fawcett, Brian

20.9

@feetoclay - Clay

Includes: @avi1111 - Mud

86.82

@felixcartal - FELIX CARTAL ‏

69.20

111.75

Fenwick - Millicent, 1910 – 1992

164.138

@FierceMess - Mrs. Me ‏

164.41

@fifiharoon - Fifi Haroon

11.2

11.5

11.6

165.54

‏@FillWerrell - Fill Werrell ‏

73.25

@filthyenabler - Filthy Enabler ‏

43.53

@FilthyRichmond - Jocelyn TestesHarder; Jocelyn; Jocelyn Plums

72.11

72.48

72.100

95.6

101.40

101.42

102.30

109.41

112.73

116.46

117.73

117.115

117.117

117.118

117.143

118.69

118.86

118.92

118.98

119.34

119.59

119.76

119.78

123.90

123.92

123.104

123.107

128.70

134.18

165.75

@FINALLEVEL - ICE T

30.59

@finansakrobat - financial acrobat ‏

44.268

44.270

‏@finkd - Mark Zuckerberg

38.71

@fionaeleanor_

Includes: ‏@fionaaaaa_ - ♡ ‏

100.26

@firasatdurrani - Firasat Durrani ‏

109.39

‏@Firawesome - Firas Alola

166.313

@fireland - Joshua Allen

72.140

76.44

86.61

112.213

163.76

@FknVancouver - Rawr; Rawr Rawr ‏

4.48

86.37

166.348

168.20

@flamingfapper - Mr.Fap

93.5

‏@flannel_toilet - colin_toilet

170.33

@FlirtyLana - I am Lana; Lana

On 31 July 2013 this Twitter account was found to have been disabled.

109.70

112.134

139.51

@flores8047 - Diane ‏

98.64

@florica - Florica Vlad

66.3

‏@flowchainsensei - Bob Marshall

141.10

‏@Flrsi - Flrsi

4.84

138.7

@fluffysuse - Fluffy Suse ‏

6.27

27.40

45.22

69.138

165.177

166.361

170.37

173.6

‏@FlyoverJoel - Joel Ingersoll

6.57

9.29

16.46

21.3

26.9

27.53

44.133

44.203

44.210

45.35

55.2

69.124

78.14

117.38

122.4

122.6

125.48

136.56

136.81

137.38

137.41

140.21

142.11

163.69

176.105

176.123

@followdavehome - Erin Collopy ‏

48.18

170.66

@Forbes - Forbes

36.3

36.5

133.83

141.9

@ForeignPolicy - Foreign Policy

80.10

147.16

Francis

186.37

@Frankie_Val - Castor Fucking Troy

4.9

@FRANKSTALICIOUS - Frankie Boy ‏

35.14

44.114

178.24

@FrauFickenDammt - FrauFickenDammt

30.51

75.67

164.48

175.4

@Fredzipfel - Fred Zipfel ‏

58.28

Freedel, Tess

62.58

186.38

186.39

186.40

186.41

@freedlander - David Freedlander

147.22

@FreedomWorks - FreedomWorks

140.24

@FrenchOnionDipp - ⇐RageKage⇒ ; TheReal KG™

110.125

‏@freshestginger - LL Cool Tay

170.78

‏@fridaykickbox - Tracy ;) ‏

169.72

‏@Fritinancy - Nancy Friedman

6.2

111.55

125.76

@FSUSteve - Steve ‏

4.68

6.29

23.36

68.12

71.36

99.2

118.161

119.27

123.68

133.37

136.144

141.59

166.56

166.408

169.54

170.51

@FT - Financial Times

130.29

@ftrain - Paul Ford ‏

130.26

‏@Fucking_Randy - Fucking Randy

171.10

@FUCKIPEDIA - Fuckery Tweets

76.3

@fucktyler - Tyler, The Creator ‏

163.85

‏@fullblowndave - Dickhole. ‏

165.172

@funnyoneliners - Funny One Liners

73.35

@FuriousDShow - Duncan MacMaster ‏

156.21

@FurryCanary - Huw Parker ‏

165.175

‏@fursid - FurSid

144.23

@FussySaffa - Mrs Joshua Homme

109.80

118.95

@FuzzyPimple - Fuzzy Pimple; Fuzzy LePimp ‏

Includes: ‏@PimpleEye - Pimple Eye

6.30

30.16

43.66

44.195

44.205

50.1

53.40

53.48

69.111

92.14

123.65

124.64

163.159

164.94

164.181

165.135

166.30

166.245

166.247

166.277

166.279

166.281

166.283

166.374

170.61

170.75

175.6

176.154

176.166

176.171

178.48

180.2

180.23

@gab1g5 - DOLPHIN ‏

The 1 in @gab1g5 is the number one.

104.32

166.88

@GabbbarSingh - Gabbar singh ‏

63.16

Gabie

62.1

62.18

187.6

‏@galiamango - Galia Mango

45.20

48.30

69.106

70.9

110.107

119.82

166.133

166.191

166.328

177.5

@ganjuanshika - Anshika Ganju

168.57

@Gartenberg - Michael Gartenberg ‏

141.12

@GaryJanetti - Gary Janetti

73.37

100.48

100.115

123.86

@GaryMarcus - Gary Marcus

112.237

@garyvee - Gary Vaynerchuk

136.83

@gavinpivott - Gavin Pivott ‏

40.9

45.39

46.63

113.60

@gawsh - gawsh ‏

75.18

@GBELKIN1 - Gary Belkin ‏

134.55

@GeneHealy - Gene Healy ‏

140.23

@georgebradt - George Bradt

133.82

‏@Georgecocksman - George Cocksman

112.33

@GetCougarized - The Coug; Get Cougarized

44.15

102.16

118.3

180.19

@ggharpham - geoffrey harpham

59.4

@ggreenwald - Glenn Greenwald

83.24

124.57

148.2

148.4

155.14

156.18

157.17

157.24

@gharbeia - Amr Gharbeia

161.3

161.17

161.37

@Ghetto_Trophy - Ghetto Trophy; CatasTrophy

29.4

42.2

56.4

69.55

92.13

105.47

105.48

107.104

108.40

112.126

118.35

118.50

118.121

139.1

164.168

165.86

165.89

166.278

168.5

169.75

170.56

176.109

176.153

180.16

@ghufranky - ghufran ‏

74.59

100.44

103.49

109.61

109.62

109.63

112.7

163.143

164.104

164.105

Ghumman, Khawar

A reporter for Dawn. No Twitter ID identified on 22 October 2013. Possibly @gh_kp

139.55

@gidget_76 - Gidget ‏

89.1

165.133

@gigaom - GigaOM, Gigaom

18.5

27.75

35.4

@gigglegirlnoel - Maddie ‏

176.134

Gilbert, Jack

1925-2012. No Twitter ID found on 1 September 2013.

172.55

@Gina_Rochelle - Gina Bobina ‏

45.15

@GinaRitter - Gina Ritter ‏

113.1

@Ginlicker - J 1chik2cups‏

6.32

@girlweena - Mrs. Grinch; Wendina M. Ubaghs

119.18

@girlwithatail - erin whitehead

59.7

@Gizmo_1984 - Barry ‏

17.7

123.72

@GizSalAli - ♥ Salisha ♥ ‏

105.31

@gkhamba - Khamba

124.89

‏@gkjohn - Gautam John

56.42

56.43

@Gladwell - Gladwell

20.3

@GlendaRoseMcGee - Glenda Rose ‏

152.13

‏@GlennyRodge - GlennyRodge

69.75

‏@glenyrd - Glenyrd Skynyrd; Glen

3.2

10.24

26.11

105.39

112.216

165.65

178.51

@globalvoices - Global Voices

161.6

@GloriaSteinem - Gloria Steinem

110.120

128.8

‏@Glorificus917 - Shea Burnham

64.8

107.77

107.79

108.28

129.26

163.15

163.33

163.84

163.111

164.106

170.23

172.13

172.43

@glyph - glyph

117.56

@gneicco - Dave

74.12

@Gnyx_ - Ghada ‏

40.7

107.108

112.180

@God_Damn_Batman - The Batman

109.65

‏@GOINGPOSTAL66 - Buck Naked

17.4

@goldengateblond - Ain't baby OR Janet; shauna; Shauna. With a u.

111.59

112.230

128.66

@Gooberforce - doodle

Includes: ‏@LaBambaMcDoodle - McGoober

69.141

110.16

111.69

124.88

166.228

172.33

@goodballs - Ephie Tornado; lady balls ‏

40.30

44.194

53.5

57.10

108.47

166.118

174.30

‏@goodtimenoel - Noel Sirmer

169.52

@GoodyBrains - Liz, Queen of Cheese

86.108

@goolicker - Goolicker

Includes: @goonumbertwo - Tony Bologna; @goobiedooo - Goobie Doobie

43.50

102.39

103.74

117.195

@Gorman_Siobhan - Siobhan Gorman

145.29

156.1

156.2

@gorrdano - Gordo‏; Pootologist

4.19

44.221

102.10

105.5

139.7

165.152

@GovChristieNJ - Gov. Chris Christie ‏

Parody account

10.36

@GPappalardo - Soap Box Liberal

118.141

122.1

137.43

@grahamclark - grahamclark

100.122

@GrammarMonkeys - Grammar Monkeys

69.65

‏@GrapeSodaJamb - Grape Soda Jamb

81.1

86.106

112.97

@GreatDismal - William Gibson ‏

21.12

67.3

67.5

91.2

@Green_Footballs - Charles Johnson ‏

15.27

15.28

@greenberg - Ryan Greenberg ‏

69.98

‏@GreenEyedJedi - Sarah; Sarah Dactyl ‏

136.103

164.84

166.309

166.323

Greenfield, Susan

Pharmacology professor at Oxford University.

166.389

‏@greenfield64 - Jeff Greenfield

44.156

@GreenLikeCash - Green Like Cash

112.124

Greer, Germaine

102.27

112.255

@GregBensinger - Greg Bensinger

136.114

‏@GregMitch - Greg Mitchell

145.15

@GregorMacdonald - Gregor Macdonald ‏

128.108

@GregortheMendel - Gregor Mendel ‏

156.22

@gregorylent - gregorylent ‏

74.19

118.49

@gregpmiller - Greg Miller

83.77

Greif, Mark

62.51

‏@GreyAlchemy - S to the R

58.31

@Grimeandreason - Ben King ‏

156.5

@grimpossible - Grim ‏

117.160

‏@gripegal - Lynzie

35.25

@grreporter - grreporter

166.416

@grrrawrr_ - ♥

Includes: @prettymuches - muchkin

58.37

58.38

71.30

71.31

73.14

73.58

101.27

128.96

137.27

164.75

166.47

166.62

@gruber - John Gruber

59.20

@grynbaum - Mike Grynbaum

125.115

@GSElevator - GS Elevator Gossip

125.47

@Gsquare86 - Gigi Ibrahim ‏

37.11

37.12

@guardian - The Guardian

19.8

44.11

81.42

83.28

84.5

92.20

110.14

144.5

155.12

155.15

156.28

160.8

@Gulzaibchaudary - Gulzaib Chaudary ‏

165.202

@Guo42 - Guo ‏

98.12

Gupta, Siddhartha

Wrote for Open Magazine in India in 2013.

129.21

Gupta, Sunil Kumar

Spokesman for India's Tihar prison in 2013.

122.36

@GusHosein - Gus ‏

157.27

157.28

‏@guyarmitage - Guy Armitage

136.26

‏@GuyEndoreKaiser - Guy Endore-Kaiser

165.69

@GuyKawasaki - Guy Kawasaki

34.1

@moniguzman - Mónica Guzmán

186.80

‏@gwatts77 - Fuckin Bob

68.4

@gwencalvo - Gwen Calvo

125.104

164.14

@gwenstefani - Gwen Stefani

125.54

@H0TMessBarbie - H0TMessBarbie ‏

6.13

16.43

23.13

71.35

111.35

111.57

111.129

134.133

168.34

170.19

@h0oV - chris hoover ‏

164.142

@haaretzcom - Haaretz.com

157.19

@habib_b - Habib Battah ‏

161.22

@Hadzilla - Jeffrey Hadz ‏

46.20

75.75

180.13

‏@hahussain - Hussain AbdulHussain

152.9

@hairicaaa - ERRKUH.; denial.

76.14

109.40

112.21

133.47

166.144

@HairyJew4Life - Harold Jew; Hebrew Hammer

104.61

109.26

110.35

117.43

@Hakimyasin - Abdelhakim Abuyasin ‏

83.49

@Haleys_Hell - Haleys_Hell

No Twitter account with this ID found on 5 August 2013.

112.176

@HallpassCanada - Steven Hall ‏

118.17

122.62

Hamilton, Ann

66.5

@hamlet2b - hamlet2b ‏

69.97

‏@Hamster41 - Hamster

165.52

@HannahAntics - KikiPop

92.5

110.53

119.42

@hannahsatana - Viley Virus

45.41

176.12

@HansRosling - Hans Rosling

134.16

@happy_heatherrr - Heather Feather

Includes: ‏@happeh_header - Heatherette

163.14

‏@happygodrink - happy ‏

176.164

@HappyHourJack - Jack

76.25

123.91

Harrison, Sarah

149.1

@Harlequin_L - ♠♥♦♣ ‏

54.9

@Harpers - Harper's Magazine

101.12

166.254

@HarvardBiz - Harvard Biz Review

128.45

136.44

140.68

140.69

140.70

141.82

177.17

177.18

177.19

177.20

177.21

‏@hasham2 - Hasham Malik

117.185

@haurdCider - haurdCider

96.1

112.40

112.59

‏@HayesBrown - Hayes Brown

133.72

Haynes, David

120.1

@hblodget - Henry Blodget ‏

53.56

119.64

@headhntr - Morgan Mayhem ‏

161.1

161.11

161.14

161.23

161.34

161.38

‏@HeartOnSleeve99 - Hot Mess

169.68

@heatherjs - Heather ‏

27.37

166.280

@heatherlarson77 - The One & Only ‏

53.24

@heatherrrrr95 - heather gooch. ‏

100.15

@HecatePanGddss - Rey

16.58

27.21

46.2

124.107

169.10

171.1

@hechingerreport - The Hechinger Report

130.81

@Heckadecimal - Gosh Heck

Includes: @heckadecimal - Josh

72.113

93.10

@heidiknits - heidi ‏

112.95

@helenleelin - Helen Lee Lin, Ph.D.

178.12

@hell_doe - ☠ lil helly ☠ ‏

124.9

@hell_homer - hell_homer ‏

5.1

@Hello_Bella - Bella ‏

117.178

166.116

@HenryCPorter - henry porter

160.7

‏@HeraldofWar - Corvus Coronoides

83.53

@HerNameIsMud - Mud ‏

166.225

@HerPinkRibbons - Pinky

110.126

@HeyAmie - Amie ‏

42.48

@heyfeifer - Jason Feifer

40.32

@HeyitsLori - Lori

72.143

136.59

166.10

@HeySamantha - Sam Murphy Kelly

111.9

@HeyZeus666 - Hey Zeus ‏

69.107

‏@hidingfromme - Charmed & Dangerous

133.3

@HiHighHigher - HiHighHigher ‏

73.15

@hilaryosborne - hilaryosborne

110.13

@HillaryClinton - Hillary Clinton

128.107

‏@hintikka - Ana-Maria Popescu

21.19

140.56

@hipchkk - Jennifer ‏

69.130

107.33

136.149

@hipstermermaid - braden graeber ‏

44.134

48.31

62.47

71.8

90.3

104.10

107.57

108.1

110.59

111.47

117.173

122.45

123.9

136.16

169.46

176.85

176.115

‏@Hirahjavaid - Hirah Javaid

44.104

‏@hiranajam - hiranajam

9.45

107.78

112.105

136.19

164.34

165.50

165.51

166.308

@Hkesvani - Hussein Kesvani ‏

39.8

@HMATomFletcher - Tom Fletcher ‏

137.45

@hobo_hands - ferg ‏

136.131

@Hobopornstar - Charlie ‏

109.50

‏@HolgateEnd - Arik Poscoe

98.50

‏@HollaKBayBay - Kerry, maybe

166.39

@HollingworthP - Paul Hollingworth ‏

130.1

@holmesdm - David Holmes ‏

134.47

‏@honeybadgerMel - Melicious

164.166

@HoneyUnhinged - Honey B.

169.66

@honorikendall - Honor Kendall

Includes: @HonorIKendall - Honor I K

86.50

‏

@hoopahoep - Manon ‏

107.100

@Hormonella - Hormonella, damn it!; ménages à moi; Don't Tell Daddy; Verified Hormonella ‏

4.1

30.86

39.12

45.27

54.18

72.92

72.124

73.65

100.120

102.34

110.106

112.62

122.53

123.112

124.11

128.19

128.20

137.35

139.15

139.33

165.180

165.194

166.195

176.157

@Horse_ebooks - Horse ebooks ‏

28.6

@hot_spunk - Justin Bukkake

133.94

@hotdogsladies - Merlin Mann ‏

44.120

74.16

75.1

112.18

119.15

140.32

‏@Hotindallas - Hot in Dallas

133.32

‏@howtogeek - Lowell Heddings

140.16

@hpitlick - Helen Pitlick ‏

105.34

108.45

@HRazaPK - Hassan Raza ‏

44.214

@hrw - Human Rights Watch

83.38

@htTweets - Hindustan Times

165.8

Hudson

62.13

62.55

102.44

186.46

186.47

186.48

186.49

186.50

186.51

186.52

186.53

187.5

@HuffingtonPost - Huffington Post

104.91

112.236

112.282

164.140

Hughes, Robert Studley Forrest

Robert Hughes (28 July 1938 - 6 August 2012) was an Australian art critic, author and producer of TV documentaries.

117.54

@HughesYordadi

No Twitter account with this ID found on 15 September 2013.

125.89

@hughlaurie - Hugh Laurie ‏

125.44

@HumaImtiaz - Huma Imtiaz ‏

112.149

112.172

Hunter, Murray

Wrote for Eurasia Review, 11 November 2013.

160.3

160.4

@hurlarious - Hurlarious ‏

112.20

166.226

@husainhaqqani - Husain Haqqani ‏

74.49

74.52

74.54

Hymes, Brandon

186.54

@IAM_SHAKESPEARE - Willy Shakes ‏

76.1

76.2

@IAmAntilia - DAFT YOUR PUNK; IAmAntilia

106.11

165.116

@IamDonCheadle - Don Cheadle

4.70

@IamEnidColeslaw - Mary Charlene

23.14

46.51

62.15

86.15

92.8

95.16

100.22

104.60

104.65

105.42

107.8

107.14

108.17

108.38

109.45

110.134

110.135

112.232

117.48

123.89

125.17

136.107

164.159

166.41

166.142

@iamfase - fase ‏

69.39

166.413

169.76

178.16

@iAmJuddy - Juddy ‏

44.147

118.110

166.65

@iamlaurynn - Much Afraid

102.29

‏@iammaylynn - Your Amy

165.123

@iamnotdiddy - iamnotdiddy

75.11

137.42

@IAmSamW - Samantha Wright ‏

170.31

@ian_Wright - Ian Wright

113.45

113.46

113.108

‏@ianbremmer - ian bremmer

113.121

145.39

@IanEdwardsComic - Ian Edwards ‏

53.6

@IanJamesFM - Ian Mortimer

69.25

@iansample - Ian Sample

84.4

‏@IanWearsPants - IanWearsPants

176.57

‏@Ibex67 - Doe, a deer

21.18

@ibnlive - CNN-IBN News

10.50

@icehead13 - LascIvIous ‏

58.6

‏@iD0NtknOwZeR0 - iZeR0mE

101.56

@idibon - idibon ‏

5.11

5.15

5.16

@idreamofmayo - foxy j ‏

No Twitter account with this ID found on 7 April 2013.

4.41

6.3

6.14

6.46

9.18

9.47

27.3

32.8

32.12

35.13

35.30

38.67

39.11

39.26

40.37

42.55

42.57

44.212

47.3

48.15

69.37

69.40

69.61

69.128

95.8

100.17

103.11

105.10

105.38

107.61

109.52

112.32

112.88

112.185

128.114

130.41

133.58

136.10

165.77

165.115

166.16

166.122

166.393

176.68

176.102

176.113

@IdStandOnThat - Mike Lowry

102.40

‏@igmurray - IsaJennie

15.4

@IGN - IGN

33.5

@ignitesea - Ignite Seattle

186.80

‏@IGotsSmarts - Steve Mieczkowski

75.70

86.66

90.12

90.13

93.6

104.1

112.1

116.30

117.109

117.169

163.120

172.31

‏@iGreenMonk -╠ мя.мσик ╣

164.149

@iheartSAM - Seattle Art Museum

66.10

136.31

@illuminatedwndr - Illuminated Mind ‏

166.59

@Im_Tricia - Tricia

71.12

72.79

100.39

102.25

104.96

107.107

111.33

118.155

118.160

123.12

128.30

133.17

134.76

166.101

166.159

166.350

169.56

176.55

176.189

@imabbylouise - 20th Century Fox ‏

166.106

@imagine_vegas - Yogurt Slinger ‏

46.41

@IMBeanz - Bean

23.21

55.1

166.231

166.243

166.244

178.40

‏@imchriskelly - Chris Kelly

30.13

@iMelbel - It's Mel-o-dy, bitch

118.32

@imence2 - plzdontfollowme; plzstopfollowingme; RandomlyGoodNews.; Cobrad; GoodNewsBadNews ‏

29.6

35.18

35.19

38.66

39.2

69.58

75.62

164.137

168.7

168.8

168.9

170.53

170.81

173.4

175.24

175.25

176.27

180.9

‏@ImHopel3ss - ImNotEvilUAre

111.82

170.72

‏@ImKevinito - Kevinito

6.50

@Immoralchurch - Amanda Johnson

15.8

@ImNotMegan1 - Megaboo

107.70

@imtellingmom - imtellingmom

101.50

122.40

@In_Brook_Vegas - The Smoking Stripper ‏

166.150

@Inc - Inc.

141.76

141.77

@indefensible - Indefensible

71.26

@Independent_ie - Independent.ie

27.86

@indiatvnews - India TV

44.91

@IndieClaws - Independent_Claws ‏

75.9

@indigo_sky360 - Indigo Sky ‏

136.158

@Info_Activism - Tactical Tech ‏

161.13

161.16

@infosecjerk - Info Security Jerk ‏

37.4

156.34

156.35

@InjusticeFacts - Injustice Facts

102.18

109.19

‏@inklake - Peter Kaufman

83.40

‏@inScytheful - Julie Baby

63.18

81.30

124.25

141.21

141.77

165.205

176.155

‏@insinuateme - Sin

30.29

46.58

56.3

166.317

176.173

178.33

@InSoOutSo - JT

72.70

111.128

117.39

@Interdome - Adam Rothstein ‏

27.87

27.88

38.68

39.6

57.40

58.20

80.19

85.14

90.6

137.21

169.13

169.14

@IntermediaPak - Intermedia Pakistan

103.19

128.82

128.103

@IntFedAgeing - IntFedAgeing

112.279

@inthefade - Michele Catalano

Includes: @abigvictory - Michele Catalano

122.57

‏@IntoxicaTweeted - IntoxicaTweeted

43.5

104.94

123.38

123.56

175.5

@iNusku - Scott McGrew ‏

Includes: ‏@ImaAngryBitch - Melissa Marrs; @iNusku3 - Scott McGrew

10.28

23.38

30.92

58.11

63.8

86.36

104.62

117.18

122.7

122.22

123.44

164.3

165.118

@InVisiHole - M. Holes.

164.136

@io9 - io9

4.78

@ioerror - Jacob Appelbaum

145.32

150.6

161.9

@Ipsita_Shome - Ipsita Shome

On 12 July 2014 her tweet below was found to have been deleted and her account replaced by: IPSITA SHOME @missMAUVERINE - meethi chhuri – Location: kolkata,india. 0 tweets. 1 following. 1 follower.

130.49

@IraByock - Ira Byock

113.66

@IrisBlasi - Iris Blasi ‏

48.8

@IrrationalGF - IrrationalGirlfriend

108.30

@ISaidDont - Kelly T

116.32

@Isitthattime - Isitthattime ‏

112.64

@isleofjenn - Jenn

140.19

165.170

@ispreview - Mark Jackson

144.1

@ispypanda - Panda, ❤Panda❤

4.51

23.18

80.16

80.18

107.87

112.11

166.363

170.69

176.190

@iSucheta - Sucheta

85.2

85.4

‏@itsthatAsh - Ash

105.40

@IvetaCherneva - Iveta Cherneva ‏

133.15

@ixakRubicon - Ixak ‏

23.9

130.21

@iyad_elbaghdadi - Iyad El-Baghdadi ‏

83.39

117.207

121.1

128.99

133.34

136.123

142.9

‏@Iyer_z - M.I **

133.10

‏@iyerdeepshri - Deepshri Iyer

180.28

@izrigrod - Chris

72.148

165.192

‏@jack - Jack Dorsey

84.11

168.1

‏@Jack_E_Oh - D.C.

No Twitter account with this ID found on 31 July 2013.

37.14

100.101

130.18

133.54

@jackseale - Jack Seale ‏

29.2

@JacquesTristan - JTM ‏

140.1

@JaeMar68 - Jae Stoner ‏

117.97

‏@Jake_Barton - Jake Barton

130.72

@jakec

ID and screen name on 31 July 2013 when this account was found to have been disabled: @JakeC - jake chillette

110.3

@jaltucher - James Altucher

130.85

@jamesrbuk - James Ball

156.27

@jamestaranto - James Taranto

109.4

@Jamster - JAMSTER

Formerly @Jamster83

44.57

‏@Jandalize - Jandalize

123.25

128.60

139.28

@jane_bot - Jane ‏

72.76

72.80

74.15

97.1

105.15

112.51

112.70

112.143

@janeofearth - Monica Thomas ‏

103.45

@janeygodley - Janey Godley

29.3

@janl - Jan Lehnardt ‏

The last letter in @janl is a lowercase L.

176.60

@JanuaryJames - January James ‏

10.32

16.12

16.13

16.14

39.27

40.26

40.28

42.35

44.67

44.163

44.202

57.17

124.4

165.106

176.18

@japaSBC - (japa) ‏

23.30

@JaredBaral - Jared Baral

113.115

@jas508 - Julie

107.133

@jaslakhmna - Naughty but nice... ‏

166.155

@jason_howerton - Jason Howerton

145.33

@Jason_maybe - Jason was here

75.60

76.20

76.40

119.32

134.28

165.178

165.199

@jason_pontin - Jason Pontin ‏

112.152

@JasonCaley - Jason McBride ‏

60.8

62.12

62.24

@JasonFritz1 - Jason Fritz ‏

133.70

@JasonLeopold - Jason Leopold ‏

146.8

146.9

146.10

‏@jasonlight73 - Jason

123.101

166.103

171.9

@JasonMata1 - ☆ Mata ☆

73.66

@jasonmustian - Jason Mustian

123.87

‏@jasonnolan - Jason Nolan

132.9

@jasonsegel - Jason Segel

110.21

@jatingandhi - jatin gandhi ‏

44.92

@Jay1972Jay - Jay

176.3

‏@jaylyall_red5 - Jason Lyall

98.90

@jayonguitar - jayonguitar

125.62

@jayrosen_nyu - Jay Rosen

67.1

149.3

156.24

‏@jazmasta - iJaz

69.30

163.105

@JazzerStace - Staci ‏

165.140

‏@jazzminus - ♦QUEEN♦OF♦DIAMONDS♦ ‏

172.38

‏@Jazzzzzmina - Brunette Bombshell; It's Jazmine Bitch!; Jazzmatazz ‏

6.54

102.14

123.67

166.169

166.300

168.29

169.32

169.71

169.74

@jbrittholbrook - J Britt Holbrook

132.3

@jbrkam - John Kamin

133.77

@jcinis - Jessey White-Cinis‏

109.66

@jclanoe - JC

69.13

@JCRNEWS - JCR

140.78

‏@jdbratten - J. Bratten

98.30

98.92

@jdebelak - Jamela Debelak

162.2

@JDP8080 - Palm Dogg ‏

98.58

98.86

@jeff_haden - Jeff Haden

141.74

141.75

@jeffemanuel - Jeff Emanuel ‏

83.16

‏@jeffgladstone - jeff gladstone

176.184

‏@jeffporper - Jeff Porper

43.61

44.66

176.147

@JeffreyGoldberg - Jeffrey Goldberg

163.164

@jeffreystapler - Jeff Stapler ‏

98.1

98.10

98.13

98.61

98.63

98.65

98.77

98.93

98.94

@jehan_ara - Jehan Ara

164.9

164.12

@JehangirPocha - Jehangir Pocha ‏

134.56

134.57

134.58

165.46

‏@jehujeni - Jenipher

4.34

27.34

38.62

43.72

44.150

44.222

45.26

58.19

58.35

69.108

70.8

102.24

103.28

110.15

110.79

110.123

118.106

134.134

165.134

166.64

166.137

176.71

‏@JEllis1313 - Justina

62.20

101.43

101.52

103.69

107.12

107.91

140.20

163.158

166.18

169.8

169.11

169.59

@JeniScagnetti - Jeni Scagnetti

2.4

6.58

56.30

69.68

165.154

166.130

166.211

166.351

172.36

176.25

‏@Jennco_W - jenncow

122.34

@jenniematthew - Jennie Matthew ‏

165.56

@Jennifergr8 - Jennifer is me ‏

44.193

@JenniferSertl - Jennifer Sertl

78.8

@Jenny4ashley - Queen Raspberry Jam ‏

3.1

107.59

@jennyandteets - Jenny Mollen

102.26

@jennydeluxe - Jenna Wortham

28.7

168.15

@JennyJohnsonHi5 - Jenny Johnson ‏

68.8

100.117

109.36

110.68

125.85

@JennyPentland - Jenny Pentland; Jenny IdStandOnSurly‏

4.35

9.17

16.3

44.45

44.166

53.59

69.48

100.89

100.90

101.68

104.14

107.19

109.77

168.2

170.49

@JenShahade - Jennifer Shahade

165.119

@jenstatsky - Jen Statsky

38.43

53.38

95.20

‏@jenuinehealing - Jenuine Ward

44.38

@jenvalentino - Jennifer Valentino

145.28

@jeremyscahill - jeremy scahill

83.23

147.21

153.5

@JermHimselfish - I Hate Jerm; Jerm Himselfish

30.27

164.117

‏@JerryThomas - JerryThomas

30.75

72.1

72.87

72.105

74.29

75.61

85.8

86.86

86.100

97.4

107.129

110.1

112.72

@JerseyShell1 - Jerzey Bitch!‏

116.36

‏@Jesatronic - Jesia CatfishLion

6.41

9.22

86.49

‏@JesselynRadack - Jesselyn Radack

153.2

‏@JessicaFancy - Fancy in Wonderland?

Includes: @WickedSica - Princess Warhole

4.27

16.7

16.8

16.50

21.2

44.61

71.27

73.2

76.17

86.27

109.72

125.1

164.180

165.187

166.19

166.316

171.25

180.27

@JessSmellsLike - Jess Spherics ‏

124.98

@JessWeiner - Jess

111.10

@jezebelsbody - jez

No Twitter account with this ID found on 6 July 2013.

110.26

@jferg1616 - Fergy ‏

164.68

@JGoldburn - Goldburn

73.38

@JGRXXN - Lil Skinny Mane Junt

Includes: @jgreengutta - ✯J-Green✯ ‏

105.23

‏@jhaque_ - Jahanzaib Haque

144.22

@JibbyD - Jibby ‏

42.45

‏@jilliancyork - Jillian C. York

12.7

12.10

12.11

12.31

12.36

37.7

44.206

128.111

@JillMorris - Jill Morris

110.64

@jimandrewsmusic - Jimmy B F D ‏

136.66

166.156

‏@JimGaffigan - Jim Gaffigan

166.90

170.84

@jimkinkade - Jim Kinkade

141.25

@JimmerThatisAll - Jimmer Cork-Bottle ‏

42.32

44.65

57.25

112.177

117.172

117.180

118.51

139.38

@jimmy_sharpe - James

48.26

‏@JimmySky - James Skylar Gerrond

98.24

98.38

98.39

98.67

@jimsilveresq - Jim Silver

117.182

@jk_rowling - J.K. Rowling

142.2

142.13

@jkrambles - Miz Jules

108.10

@jkresen - Julie Kresen; Julie Kresen Barnes ‏

74.17

176.192

‏@jkrums - Jānis Krūms

34.7

@jleyden - John Leyden

158.16

@jmalthus - Jesse Malthus ‏

42.4

@JMendenhall - Jacob Mendenhall ‏

119.1

127.7

@JMFingSparks - JMFingSparks

Includes: ‏@JMFnSparks - JMFnSparks

107.69

@jneslo - Jana

62.27

107.52

107.53

110.131

111.78

128.48

@jnglwzrd - frog name jongol ‏

75.19

@joaomatthews_ - João Matthews

Includes: @DoritosOverHoes - João Matthews

134.122

‏@jochocoloco - Jo

166.234

@joelandren - Joel Andren ‏

54.19

@joelebean - JoelEBean ‏

46.28

@joelleboucai - Joelle Boucai ‏

Includes: @Bitterjojo

16.36

119.77

133.13

‏@joeschmitt - Joe Schmitt

10.27

126.1

134.2

136.57

165.62

‏@joeyhuggles - Mr. Hugglington Esq.; The White Nightmare; Joseph the Smeghead

111.91

166.411

@John_Hudson - John Hudson

147.15

@johndurant - John Durant

141.62

@JohnEkdahl - John Ekdahl, Jr. ‏

58.16

@johnmaeda - johnmaeda

122.29

136.165

‏@johnmdonnelly - John M. Donnelly

156.20

‏@JohnnyArgent - Johnny Argent

125.13

@JohnPRG - John Rae-Grant

141.65

‏@johnramirez - John David Ramirez

130.84

130.93

@johnregan12 - John R ‏

98.6

98.21

@johnrobb - John Robb

112.268

113.26

134.121

‏@jokerbc67 - Joe Lewallen

98.46

@jon_jeckell - Jonathan Jeckell ‏

80.11

@jonahlehrer - jonahlehrer ‏

130.3

130.53

@jonathanlethem - Jonathan Lethem

20.5

@jonathanshainin - Jonathan Shainin ‏

44.96

165.15

165.16

165.17

‏@Jones4410 - Kevin Jones

165.197

@JonnieMarbLes - Jonnie Marchbles ‏

156.29

@jonnycooper - Jonny Cooper ‏

16.27

@jonrussell - Jon Russell

154.14

@JordyHamrick - Jordan

118.97

@jorshuwah - Josh S ‏

21.14

73.34

93.18

111.56

116.25

119.55

134.61

139.58

166.97

176.29

‏@JoseCanseco - Jose Canseco

44.24

69.56

@joseisadeadman - Jose Rivera ‏

86.21

@Joseph__Carter - Joseph Carter ‏

98.60

@joseph_ocon - joseph ocon

105.30

@josephesque - Brosef Stalin

Includes: ‏@joevelouria - P.G.O.A.T.

26.4

48.1

56.29

69.109

101.2

125.96

136.55

136.67

@JosephEStiglitz - Joseph E. Stiglitz

131.26

@JosesLovesYou - Joses Martin ‏

172.51

@Josh - Josh Lowensohn

145.3

@joshcomers - Josh Comers ‏

74.11

@JoshConstine - Josh Constine

32.5

@JoshDKock - Josh De Kock

124.42

‏@joshgiersch - Josh Giersch

134.19

‏@joshingstern - Josh Stern

68.21

@JoshMalina - Joshua Malina

42.50

@joshmillard - Josh Millard

109.44

@joshuafoust - joshuafoust ‏

133.14

133.16

135.18

@journalisthasan - Hasan Abdullah ‏

Includes: @dissentingpaki - Hasan Abdullah ‏

83.11

@jovial_evil - JovialEvil ‏

4.42

@jowyang - Jeremiah Owyang ‏

18.2

27.67

31.1

32.7

44.266

71.22

116.17

124.16

130.57

130.58

133.4

133.5

133.88

136.74

136.162

136.164

140.7

140.27

140.76

165.47

@JoyPlaza - joy plaza

112.45

117.214

@JPHaddadio - J.Paul Hadd

72.22

72.103

110.58

@JRehling - JRehling ‏

166.92

176.14

‏@Js_Dark_Reality - Js_Dark_Reality

164.185

@jseattle - Jseattle

103.63

116.15

131.17

‏@jstogdill - Jim Stogdill

98.15

98.16

98.83

‏@jtrulez - JT2daExtreme

76.27

‏@jtswhipped - John Taylor; John Wayne Gaysee

48.41

@juicymorsel - juicymorsel ‏

69.63

86.65

177.9

@juliussharpe - Julius Sharpe

73.70

104.13

112.125

123.27

124.34

129.17

137.6

176.93

‏@Junk_Boat - JB

104.43

‏@junkyardigan - JUNKYARDIGAN

8.8

30.85

40.16

44.139

72.7

75.21

107.39

112.231

117.27

123.7

124.86

129.3

134.95

134.113

141.84

166.303

166.412

168.52

176.75

@juskewitch - Adam Juskewitch

72.97

102.22

116.41

@Just_Alison - Alison Agosti

73.57

86.9

‏@just_evolved - GovtTookMaBaby

169.41

@Just_Lee_ - Lee; Just Lee

4.62

30.22

39.19

44.41

45.23

117.13

118.42

118.131

123.32

128.4

128.77

139.34

163.31

166.158

166.343

176.83

176.165

@justinhayward - Justin Hayward

140.45

‏@justinpickard - Justin Pickard

9.3

9.4

20.12

48.23

77.1

82.8

86.30

93.2

@justsendTulips - Sarah ☮

No account with this ID found on 10 April 2013.

30.19

109.34

109.35

112.197

112.256

‏@JustTashie - probably sleeping

124.77

@jvbond014 - Jared Bondesson ‏

98.5

98.44

@jwildeboer - jwildeboer ‏

145.12

@jwpennebaker - James W Pennebaker

5.27

@jyarmis - Jonathan L. Yarmis ‏

136.32

@k_beec - KBC ‏

118.43

137.5

166.333

169.6

‏@ka_unplugged - Indian Cartman

176.131

@kafila - Kafila

128.43

Kagan, Shelly

A philosopher at Yale and the author of Death, published by Yale University Press as part of the Open Yale Courses Series, 15 May 2012.

113.65

@KalonFullerton - Kalon Fullerton ‏

10.11

113.81

176.72

@kamiekaymee - neptunian ‏

46.43

104.99

163.52

@KandAFilms2 - Alex Collett ‏

178.44

‏@kandibomber - Demon Kitten

4.43

176.122

@kanikagahlaut - Kanika Gahlaut ‏

57.6

@karachikhatmal - karachikhatmal ‏

16.20

29.9

@KaranBaluja - Karan Baluja ‏

30.34

‏@karentozzi - Karen (Tozzi)

46.23

69.32

165.82

@karimatos1 - Karim Magdy ‏

104.35

@KarinaCodex - Karina Galvan ‏

69.120

@KarlRove - Karl Rove

57.29

@KaseyAnderson - Kasey Anderson

Account found on 27 July 2013 to have experienced a change of control.

105.37

112.25

136.82

‏@kashaziz - Kashif Aziz

69.132

141.50

‏@Kasparov63 - Garry Kasparov

152.10

152.11

152.12

@kat_chastain - Kat Chastain

Includes: ‏@J_Chastain - J Chastain

134.25

@kat_the_crap - Kat Petines ‏

16.22

@katdenk - Kat ‏

102.36

110.50

118.136

‏@Kate_Goldsmith - Kate Goldsmith

176.23

‏@kateward - Kate Ward

57.16

‏@katiebrookss - Katie Brooks

100.111

@katniiip - Elaina ‏

171.13

@kattcalls

On 27 May 2011 this account had the screen name: a/k/a @kambrock

On 1 August 2013 no Twitter accounts were found for either @kambrock or @kattcalls.

110.91

‏@katy_baybay - Katybaby; PoisonedWellBaby

73.90

118.33

@kawrage - /kaw·reɪdʒ/ ‏

128.84

@KayKayLV - Katie Kenney ‏

29.7

@KayM77 - Kay Morgan

27.1

46.17

57.20

68.22

74.64

81.38

81.39

86.26

93.15

101.44

103.47

104.31

104.38

105.43

110.56

110.86

110.130

111.6

111.29

112.23

112.78

112.161

117.204

118.124

122.55

122.64

123.40

123.79

125.86

134.91

139.20

163.141

164.83

165.160

166.322

174.1

@KaysNH - Kay ‏

103.66

@KBellSays - Kirsty Ballard ‏

117.29

136.69

@kdn13 - kdn

62.6

62.22

71.18

71.19

71.20

72.23

72.114

72.144

75.72

100.54

100.119

101.9

101.14

101.16

101.29

103.37

103.48

104.71

105.26

106.1

106.10

107.123

107.125

109.24

110.63

110.72

110.88

111.30

111.38

111.77

112.28

112.49

112.194

112.212

112.219

112.220

117.12

118.71

124.20

124.22

125.25

125.43

125.46

125.108

128.24

128.32

128.33

128.54

128.78

133.28

136.64

164.122

165.179

166.42

166.57

166.61

166.320

@kdotrunsthis - kdot ‏

104.57

@kdrum - Kevin Drum

157.15

@kdykstra20 - Kyle Dykstra ‏

98.19

‏@KeenanMulvaney - keenan

6.39

‏@kelkulus - Kelkulus

10.20

10.22

10.23

53.1

69.96

69.101

136.86

169.36

Kellewood, Tyrone

186.60

@kellyoxford - kelly oxford ‏

32.13

38.59

53.44

56.38

56.39

74.23

104.72

107.3

107.22

107.23

108.20

110.71

110.101

110.102

111.96

112.103

112.175

112.181

123.31

123.95

125.24

125.36

136.99

@kellyskelly - Kelly Shannon Kelly✩‏; Kelly Kelly✩

112.10

@Kendragarden - Kendra Kringle ‏

175.9

@kenfisher - Ken Fisher ‏

67.10

‏@KennyVee - Kenny Vee

180.8

@KenSofer - Ken Sofer

84.10

@KentTheG - Kent G. ‏

53.36

@KerryBeetge - Kerry Beetge ‏

69.129

72.136

118.75

118.149

136.34

@kervinf - Kervin Ferreira

108.32

118.61

118.79

122.43

134.49

136.93

136.140

@kevin__allen - Kevin Allen

128.46

136.42

@KevinBabbles - Kevin M ‏

104.30

133.18

@kevinmitdick - Kevin Mitnick ‏

Parody of @kevinmitnick - Kevin Mitnick

162.10

‏@kevinmitnick - Kevin Mitnick

166.210

@kevinpurdy - Kevin Purdy

140.28

‏@kevinrowe1 - Yes deer

38.64

‏@kevinwinter - Kevin Winter

112.157

@kevnasto - Kevin CanadianBacon; HOMO THE SPIVEY

69.73

123.17

@KhizM - Khizra ‏

44.246

@khoury_nabeel - Nabeel Khoury

186.83

@Killerdolce - Annie Troy

107.37

111.148

112.136

169.33

176.124

‏@KimDotcom - Kim Dotcom

153.16

@KimKierkegaard - KimKierkegaardashian ‏

53.42

163.129

@KimKardashian - Kim Kardashian

42.15

@Kimmittable - Kim

38.23

123.18

125.26

133.21

@Kimpulses - Kim ‏

10.2

30.10

40.25

100.61

105.13

112.77

124.66

128.64

163.146

166.171

174.17

@kimwilliamz - HeadSandwichMaker; Kim Katfish Williamz

69.143

108.44

@KindOfASmartass - Chris ‏

6.51

32.10

75.12

136.36

@kingdomofwench - Wench ‏

69.121

@kingladar - Ladar Levison

155.1

155.7

155.8

155.11

@Kingsroc - Octopus Rock ‏

90.16

@kiostark - Kio Stark

Includes: @kio_pio

164.192

@kirbstr - kirbstr ‏

58.13

@kirstenstubbs - Kirsten Stubbs

136.17

‏@kishalay - kishalay b

8.1

23.3

‏@kitabikeeri - k.; anthro-apologist

44.123

128.3

@kjmeow - kelly ‏

122.10

@KKAlThani - Khalifa ‏

4.4

41.7

100.18

105.61

@KlassyFucker - Klassy Fucker

108.26

176.51

Klub der Wiener Kaffeehausbesitzer

124.101

@KneelAtTheWhy - Broons Bane

Includes: ‏@KneelAtTheY - Jesus H. Crisis

58.10

‏@KnightAndDre - Fares

4.17

@knittingninja00 - cynthiazepamOverdose ‏

100.41

@Kobbejaeger - Kobbejaeger ‏

42.47

68.23

112.55

113.44

113.69

122.13

‏@kobebryant - Kobe Bryant

176.114

@kolchak - The Night Stalker

111.110

@Koquettish - Kony Chatterjee ‏

53.30

@kottke - kottke.org ‏

32.1

32.2

125.71

@KPsych29 - UGotMe's Lil' Sis ‏

No Twitter account with this ID found on 19 July 2013.

100.99

175.27

@kramediggles - alyssa k-diggles‏

38.34

118.89

Kramer, Steven

Independent researcher and writer who authored an article with Teresa Amabile @TeresaAmabile in the McKinsey Quarterly @McKQuarterly

143.4

@Kraz60 - Cindy K ‏

113.20

117.76

@KriddyE - Krissy ‏

No Twitter account with this ID found on 28 August 2013.

118.68

‏@KrishnHelpIndia - KrishnaDas

30.35

@KristieKenney - Kristie Kenney

128.106

@kristygee - Kristy Grant ‏

62.43

72.41

86.99

105.18

107.47

112.79

122.41

124.75

128.10

128.113

136.102

‏@Kritzwit - SpasticSkittle

166.69

‏@krmaher - katherine maher

161.18

161.29

161.33

161.41

@kshitijmjha - Kshitij M Jha ‏

107.68

@ksieff - ksieff

98.79

Kubrick, Stanley

59.21

@Kudcia

Includes: @kudcia - Queue

141.49

‏@KungFuBoobs - BaconBoobs

27.36

169.50

@KUOW - KUOW

112.239

@KuperSimon - Simon Kuper

130.28

‏@kurtopsahl - Kurt Opsahl

156.13

@kwilliams101 - Kayla Williams ‏

133.76

@Kyle_Lippert - Kyle Lippert ‏

Includes: @DumbNOTDeaf - Kyle

72.56

73.28

105.16

108.14

108.15

111.36

112.75

123.30

136.112

170.55

@kyriabeingbanal - Kyria Abrahams

No Twitter account with this ID found on 12 September 2013.

125.41

164.99

@l1zerd - Rock

This @username begins with a lowercase L and the number one.

42.49

@laaBLONDEEBBY - acid_dolphin.rad ‏

76.39

168.60

@LaBambaMcDoodle - McGoober ‏

21.23

58.5

‏@lacatchat - Catriona Soutar

4.30

100.52

@LadyJ3000 - Jennifer Turner

119.84

‏@LadyOphelia12 - ♔She Icarus♔

99.3

@LaetPO - Laet Oliveira ‏

20.18

23.20

112.263

117.131

117.213

166.141

@lafix - Laura

105.9

165.174

‏@LaFuzzyNoir - La Fuzz

5.8

@LailaLalami - Laila Lalami ‏

83.33

165.53

165.59

@laishaun - Shaun Lai ‏

130.94

‏@LaJeannieBean - hello jeannie

5.10

166.2

172.14

172.41

‏@Lakeoconeebldr - Saint Gordon

134.77

‏@LameesAbaza - Lamees Abaza

110.127

@lamIamlam - awful life lessens ‏

This @username begins with a lowercase letter L. The other two similar letters are an uppercase i and another lowercase L respectively.

86.85

93.16

@Lanesbrew - A

44.178

@LanguageLog - Language Log

64.17

@lanyardtwerk - lanyard ‏

85.9

163.32

@latimes - Los Angeles Times

83.47

@Laugh_Riot - Laugh Riot

112.19

119.17

123.60

123.88

136.4

164.76

‏@Laughbook - Laugh!

69.66

@LaughingSquid - Laughing Squid

178.4

@LauraKingLAT - Laura King

83.46

‏@laurarbx - Laura Rucker

134.75

@LaurenGreenberg - Lauren Greenberg

Includes: @LaurenGberg - Lauren Greenberg

71.29

118.130

123.26

123.93

@LaurenRP - LaurenRP

122.77

@laurensamsmith - Lauren S Smith

130.5

‏@lauxmyth - Martin Badke, CJL

119.69

119.70

@Lavenderpants - Lavender

Includes: @Lavender_lady - D. Parker

124.45

‏@lawnrocket - Emma Coats

4.71

4.72

4.73

4.74

4.75

4.77

133.101

133.102

@LayDbibo - Micayla ‏

16.6

130.55

166.125

‏@LaytesAgain - Laytes

44.122

166.384

@lazerdoov - Doooooov

72.34

72.119

76.37

125.8

@LBelle1 - Laura ‏

122.56

137.30

‏@lchamberlin - Luke Chamberlin

117.201

@lcspt - i used to be a pet

Includes: @lucyspet - kris with a k.

71.17

75.6

100.96

123.5

@Le_Voyageur_ - Louis Riel

16.33

@Lea_Stephanie - Steph

On 30 August 2013, this account was found to have been disabled.

119.29

136.152

@Leadershipfreak - Dan Rockwell ‏

117.63

@leashless - Vinay Gupta ‏

102.43

112.206

112.207

154.4

154.5

154.6

157.6
157.9

157.10

157.20

157.21

‏@leechee420 - The Alicianator

44.185

73.27

@leeclowsbeard - Lee Clow's Beard

117.197

120.5

141.23

@Leggalicious - Tiffany ‏

43.68

@legind - William Budington ‏

150.1

‏@LegionsMind - ☜☆☞Legion☜☆☞

Includes: @LegionLivesHere - ☜☆☞Legion☜☆☞

136.152

‏@LeiaMarieG - Leia

175.19

@lejessica - Jessica

39.15

73.80

@lenadunham - Lena Dunham ‏

112.248

@lesleycowley - Lesley Cowley ‏

137.9

@leslid79 - Your Sweet Lesli ‏

5.23

30.24

85.12

124.53

@leslietaylor8 - Leslie Taylor

This account was found on 4 October 2013 to have experienced a change of control, with the first tweet from the new account-holder dated 5 January 2012 and the most recent on 24 March 2012.

136.91

@letsgetgizzy - Giselle

72.125

100.100

110.31

110.46

110.75

119.60

136.105

@lettatayler - Letta Tayler

83.37

‏@levie - Aaron Levie

37.1

Levy, David

86.97

@LewEvil - Lewcifer ‏

44.218

57.24

164.24

@LexiconBranding - Lexicon Branding

64.23

@lexxieviolin - Penny Lane; Lexie

72.121

@LibertyLynx - R

152.3

152.4

152.6

152.6

152.7

152.8

@Lilbyrdy - Lara (not Laura) ‏

68.17

169.21

@LilFlaOrange30 - Wonder Woman ‏

44.211

‏@lilgapeach30 - Manda Daisy Duke; Manda

58.40

166.273

176.194

‏@LilyDPenha - Lily D'Penha

170.62

@Lina18 - Lina Ejeilat

The username @Lina18 contains the number eighteen.

161.15

‏@lindsaylohan - Lindsay Lohan

73.32

Linebaugh - Heather

83.27

@Lipgloss_Nerd - J ‏

9.10

35.28

39.1

53.45

56.15

58.17

112.260

164.186

165.31

169.30

171.17

174.9

175.21

176.64

178.18

@Lisa_Laughs_ - @sshole; Lisa Laughs; Lisa Laughs 4Real; Laughing with Token

Includes: @Lisa_Laughs4Fun - Lisa Laughs ‏

16.4

‏30.40

42.41

44.64

73.39

73.92

100.9

104.95

112.254

113.40

117.159

123.47

129.1

163.148

164.145

165.39

166.392

176.89

‏@Lisabug74 - Lisabug BBQJones ‏

73.49

166.145

‏@LisaFarted - It really is.

166.259

176.2

176.6

178.38

@lisarahmat - Lisa ‏

30.48

76.16

117.33

123.48

123.108

129.14

139.27

‏@lishybee - Alisha

164.27

‏@LissaGreene13 - Melissa Greene

98.88

@literaryeric - Eric Nelson ‏

44.182

160.1

@Little___Sister - Little Sister ‏

Her Twitter ID contains three underscore marks.

100.80

@LittleHarmonica - Monica ‏

40.27

92.6

111.53

128.94

@littleidea - Andrew Clay Shafer

112.270

‏@littlekitnerboy - thatlittlekitnerboy

165.191

169.12

@LittlePegAMcKay - Katie ‏

27.20

@litramarie - *Literally* ‏

174.6

‏@lizetagge - Lize Tagge

128.93

@lizgannes - Liz Gannes

155.2

@LizMartinezG - Liz Martinez ‏

20.20

‏@Lizziefro - Lizziefroyo

73.33

@LizzieWurtzel - Elizabeth Wurtzel

128.6

LJH

LJH's profile on Disqus:  http://disqus.com/guest/81d94309c53e2b990e8d8b3e31a27b5a/

136.46

@lmirani - Leo Mirani ‏

The first letter in @lmirani is a lowercase L.

144.6

144.7

Lo, Martin

122.28

‏@loh - Elliot Loh

95.1

@Lola_Areola - L.O.L.A ‏

112.118

@lollersCATEs - lollersCATEs

Twitter account found on 28 July 2013 to have been disabled,

105.59

@LOLGOP - LOLGOP ‏

15.17

@Loli_Sug - yourJester

39.5

44.48

48.35

54.7

73.89

104.28

122.80

66.297

170.68

176.151

176.152

176.174

180.21

180.22

@LondonStudent - London Student

130.69

‏@longwall26 - Jason Miller

44.46

@lookitsjulia - Julia Santo ‏

165.48

@loolabelll - NutTy wife

The last three characters in @loolabelll are lowercase Ls.

Includes: ‏@louiemc33 - loobie

169.18

@LordPalpatine - Emperor Palpatine

86.55

86.69

@lordstewie - Stewie NOT Griffin

On 11 October 2013 this Twitter account was found to have been suspended.

137.7

@lorlorlori - Lori

104.97

@Losephine - Dolores ‏

57.14

@LosLos__ - Los ‏

107.115

‏@LouiseMensch - Louise Mensch

103.22

158.5

158.6

158.8

@LouisPeitzman - Louis Peitzman

69.142

@love_shunt - Sir Kelleth

72.152

113.95

@LoveNLunchmeat - Christy ‏

128.58

@lpolgreen - Lydia Polgreen

122.37

@LuckyLea13 - Cid is Vicious ‏

27.27

@luckyshirt - luckyshirt; Lucky Shirt

81.45

@lukekarmali - Luke Karmali

33.4

@lulusgirl888 - Nope

136.97

‏@LunaSeattle - LunaSeattle

44.1

@lunchyprices - Heather Kay

136.92

@LuvPug - angie; angieMcSugarButt ‏

118.45

166.367

166.370

166.372

@lvvzz - llvvzz; PrincessCandyEmpire

Includes: @llvvzz - PrincessCandyEmpire

4.25

16.25

16.44

20.28

44.16

44.167

44.225

46.66

58.21

71.16

71.24

74.1

75.32

100.78

101.63

111.42

111.84

117.177

118.119

119.65

122.33

122.67

124.38

124.83

141.70

163.34

164.44

165.99

168.41

169.34

172.1

‏@LzbethRachael - Beth_Becomes_Her

166.236

@M0sstr00per - Kevin Hughes ‏

156.31

156.32

@m1k3y - m1k3y

The second character in m1k3y is the number one. m1k3y spells Mikey in leet.

9.34

20.27

73.74

78.17

86.8

94.3

107.130

128.62

129.4

142.20

145.7

@Maarab - Maarab Hanif ‏

110.89

@Madame_Royale - Madame Creepy ‏

104.78

@MadameSnippy - Menacing Madame ‏

176.39

@madamesnooty - michele ‏

30.94

@MadAxes - Madelene ‏

69.95

72.69

@madmanweb - Madhu Menon ‏

45.4

57.31

@madmomsdiary - Madmom ‏

27.11

@madmonimoni - Moni ‏

6.6

178.43

178.45

@MaDom - Magnus

104.48

@maehoneybee - Magdalena; Isis

165.157

Maestas, David

62.10

@Mahamali05 - Maham Ali ‏

‏116.16

@mahaseth - Kaushal Mahaseth ‏

92.25

@Mahim_Maher - Mahim Maher ‏

5.18

117.96

134.3

‏@maibrandy - Brandy Mai

139.19

@MailOnline - Daily Mail Online

128.89

@MajorFlakes - MajorFlakes ‏

63.1

116.18

‏@majorlyp - majorlyp; Dr Prof. Majorly PhD; Dr Majorly PhD; Dr Majorly PLH,AS,BR

Includes: @majorlyprofound

10.47

10.48 for majorlyprofound's puppet tweet

10.49

10.52

10.53

83.75

83.76

136.51

144.2

@MAKERSwomen - MAKERS

110.116

110.119

@MaliciaRogue - R ‏

161.20

161.40

@ManaKultras - Imran Aziz ‏

42.20

@MandaDeen - Manda ‏

69.29

@ManiasVoice - ManiasVoice

101.24

113.61

‏@manish_vij - Manish Vij ‏

147.1

147.2

147.3

147.4

147.5

147.6

147.7

147.8

147.9

147.10

147.11

147.12

147.13

147.18

147.24 – out of sequence

153.7

153.8

153.9

157.3

157.4

157.5

@marcprensky - Marc Prensky

9.51

‏@marcusjcarey - Marcus J. Carey

124.3

‏@MarcusOreally - Marcus

176.97

@marebytes - Just Mare ‏

42.56

48.36

164.82

@MariamEltawil - Mariam Eltawil ‏

No Twitter account found with this ID on 18 February 2013.

27.26

43.16

73.43

107.88

118.20

@MariamGoraya - Mariam ‏

28.5

@MariaMontessori - Maria Montessori

164.118

‏@Marine4Veterans - Sgt T

98.23

‏@Maritta_L - MsBonkers

170.3

@mark_liberman - Mark Liberman

64.16

@Mark_Parkinson - Mark_Parkinson ‏

165.2

@markleggett - Mark Leggett ‏

44.53

44.144

90.17

123.53

165.37

165.158

‏@markweston19 - Mark Weston

16.18

82.12

161.44

@martianhaiku - Life on Mars

42.17

@Martin_Dempsey - GEN Martin Dempsey

141.73

‏@martingeddes - Martin Geddes

21.10

32.4

35.1

119.49

136.116

136.122

140.47

141.30

160.14

165.43

173.2

178.62

Martin, Judith

118.169

118.170

@martinvars - Martin Varsavsky

44.155

87.18

‏@martynasn - Martynas Nikolajevas

133.96

‏@marvisirmed - Marvi Sirmed

41.6

74.43

128.51

128.52

‏@Maryam_MAhmad - Pakimon

111.106

163.101

@maryashakil - marya shakil

10.51

@mashable - Mashable

34.5

34.6

111.11

180.34

@MasqueradedLady - X X ‏

No Twitter account with this ID found on 7 December 2013.

166.356

@MasterOfFury - MasterOfFury ‏

112.195

‏@matanlurey - Matan Lurey

12.28

‏@MatchingTattoos - Matching Tattoos; Wonderstruck

164.173

@mathewi - Mathew Ingram

18.4

27.73

27.74

35.3

41.15

41.16

178.72 – added late and out of sequence

@mathowie - Haughey, Matt

186.42

@matingmind - Geoffrey Miller

4.85

4.86

4.87

4.88

@matt_foster - Matt Foster ‏

37.5

@mattblaze - matt blaze ‏

44.128

154.10

154.11

156.12

156.14

159.2

159.3

159.4

159.5

‏@mattdelia - Matt D'Elia

9.42

@MattElGato - Matt ‏

27.43

136.8

@mattfikse - Matt Fikse-Verkerk

162.6

‏@matthaig1 - Matt Haig

The last character in @matthaig1 is the number one.

21.24

@matthew_bernard - Matt Bernard ‏

6.21

@MatthewBrowning - Matthew Browning ‏

92.4

@mattingebretson - Matt Ingebretson ‏

62.29

117.11

@mattlanger - Matt Langer ‏

111.39

@mattlemay - Matt LeMay

142.18

@mattmanic - Matt Manic ‏

170.42

@mattsta - Matt Stancliff ‏

27.83

33.9

63.12

83.41

117.59

119.16

136.38

157.2

158.4

@mattthomas - Mαtt Thomαs; matt

43.15

72.104

112.104

165.103

@matttuff - matt

107.11

@MauiLove917 - Sara ‏

72.58

72.128

@maulifuff - maulifuff

110.47

@maxfenton - Max Fenton ✰

176.167

‏@maybenotstef - stef

4.44

@MayhemCzar - Czar M

6.49

23.24

27.13

69.91  
79.5

112.159

166.63

166.418

‏@MaysoonMM - Maysoon

No Twitter account with this ID found on 25 September 2013.

27.29

38.10

76.38

109.29

166.272

@MazMHussain - Maz; Murtaza Hussain

57.28

165.57

@mbobstarr - Michael Bob Starr ‏

98.32

@mcdermott_n - Nick McDermott

128.88

@McKQuarterly - McKinsey Quarterly

143.5

‏@Mdarbyreid - Darby

12.1

@mdob11 - moody monday ‏

43.13

110.51

112.158

163.80

166.168

170.6

‏@mdvaldosta - Joe Hayes

43.19

@Me_llody - Melody

Includes: @Blos_um - Lotus Flower

73.22

@meat_tornado_ - *meat tornado* ‏

4.23

75.20

108.6

@mediagag - Hassan Cheema

83.71

@Medium - Medium

186.9

186.43

@meeowmaria - Megan Fox

No account with that Twitter ID found on 14 September 2013. Her screen name is a pseudonym.

74.63

125.61

@MeeraGhani - Meera Ghani ‏

103.3

103.7

@MeerkatManners - Josh Bluth

Includes: @Josh_by_himself - Josh

104.93

‏@MeetingBoy - Meeting Boy

117.28

117.40

117.60

117.86

117.155

122.74

123.83

136.37

136.63

136.65

137.2

137.28

137.31

@meganamram - Megan Amram

4.21

6.18

30.57

69.43

73.10

100.34

104.85

107.38

109.11

166.21

@meganshpettit - Maggie Mac Donald

102.48

@megfraser - Meghan Ella Fraser ‏

110.4

@mehreenrana - breen ‏

112.173

@mehreenzahra - Mehreen Zahra-Malik

8.5

‏@MehrTarar - Mehr Tarar

44.252

44.253

44.254

44.255

74.53

113.77

113.79

@mehsoore - Syed Tehseer Haider ‏

113.91

Mehta, Ravi

Published in the Journal of Consumer Research.

140.79

@MelissaJack918 - Melissa Jack; Lissa J

117.145

‏@MelissaStetten - Melissa Stetten

104.51

@melliemeow - Melanie ‏

27.10

@mellimelle - Mrs.Throbinson ‏

166.177

176.81

Menon, Nivedita

128.42

@MentalAbortions - MentalAbortions ‏

44.116

69.92

100.112

163.156

164.127

166.295

‏@mentalexotica - Mental Exotica

124.119

165.168

‏@meowskins - Rachel Zane

163.117

‏@metaimago - Daniel Millroy

48.13

@metamelf - Melissa Fabrizio

64.12

‏@metapostasy - Evan Brown

98.14

@mevlaar - Mevlar ‏

136.15

@mfnoyes - M Noyes ‏

98.41

@MicahZenko - Micah Zenko ‏

83.22

83.48

@michael_raphone - Michael Raphone, Sr. ‏

69.100

@michaelb4jordan - Michael B Jordan

Verified account.

141.37

‏@michamontaz - Girl Disappearing; madge-ic montaz

44.176

176.37

176.94

@MichelleHarnois - Michelle ‏

117.157

@michiokaku - Dr. Michio Kaku

84.2

@MickJagger - Mick Jagger

87.10

@microMAF - Musharraf A. Farooqi

4.81

119.28

@mid_day - Mid Day Infomedia

166.34

‏@Midgetspar - Corey Paterson

72.150

73.67

172.2

‏@MiekeEoyang - mieke eoyang

137.14

@mightymouse - deb

On 18 July 2013 this account was found to have been suspended by Twitter.

95.14

@miguel_mota - Moogs‏

81.14

164.171

@MihirBijur - Mihir Bijur ‏

113.118

@Mike_Bianchi - Mike Bianchi ‏

62.25

@Mike_Wrong - Mike Wrong ‏

73.68

76.10

‏@mikeinla09 - Michael B Inlaoninni

27.33

42.25

42.51

56.22

57.26

70.10

75.25

75.59

100.109

118.99

123.58

123.78

134.115

166.339

168.55

170.80

@MikeJordanBro - Michael Jordan

Includes: @ChorePush_ - Chore Boy; @ChorePush2 - Chore Boy

95.7

119.40

136.148

@mikeleffingwell - Mike Leffingwell

112.190

‏@mikemyatt - Mike Myatt

141.15

141.31

141.61

141.72

141.78

142.6

142.7

‏@mikenelson586 - Mike Nelson

83.12

83.13

83.19

98.70

@MikeSchism - Mike Gabriel

38.18

38.27

‏@MikeyHill_ - Mikey Hill

44.236

137.10

@mikeym00n - Major McNipples

Includes the following, which need to be confirmed: @mikey_m00n; @Mister_m00n - Stace Wanker; @michael_J_m00n - Lunar Éclair

4.39

163.74

@mikeysan - mikey-san

125.6

@mikko - Mikko Hypponen ✘ ‏

44.127

69.33

79.6

159.6

@MildlyPerplexed - Never Mind ‏

38.6

71.40

166.94

@militarytalent - Philip Dana ‏

133.79

@MiloKilledPunk - \\(o_0)/ ‏

175.2

‏@mims - Christopher Mims

130.86

130.88

145.9

‏@minasmusings - Minarotically. Ish.; Mina McSugarSnatch; Mina McStabbySnatch

44.14

63.14

72.19

179.1

179.2

179.3

179.4

179.5

179.6

179.7

179.8

179.9

179.10

179.12

179.13

‏@MinedOvaMatter - Mined Ova Matta

37.2

Minkowski, Christopher

130.25

@MinniesMadness - MinniesMadness

Includes: @ShineSweetly - BitterSweet

164.103

@MinutesofMayhem - Neal Mayhem ‏

43.59

43.64

44.143

44.149

45.8

@Mipeck1 - Michael Peck

80.9

@Mirth_Quake - Hugh Morris

Includes: @Co_Man_Do - Frē Ballingsly ‏

136.90

@mishakey - Misha BBQJones

118.81

130.95

@Miss_Cook - Miss_Cook

137.26

‏@Miss_Firefly_ - Miss F

166.237

‏@miss_ogyny - He Man Woman Hater

165.91

@MissAprilToYou - Your Secretary ‏

69.119

‏@missekay - Mmmkay?

112.60

‏@MissHobbitBitch - Emily

136.133

@Missing_A - ←Ali♥

21.8

72.107

75.40

@missingblakes - missingblakes ‏

9.12

133.12

@MissItAintMe - VanillaPaws ‏

133.67

@MissLustCaution - Miss Lust Caution

111.104

‏@missmayn - Ally Maynard

99.1

‏@MissWont - Miss Wont

78.6

92.2

104.6

165.29

165.110

170.10

@MisterBombay - Gordon Bombay ‏

105.14

@MisterPrankster - SeanPrankster

75.76

‏@MistookMistake - Vasculitis Vixen; MistookMistake

9.24

20.24

38.24

38.42

73.29

75.13

117.69

123.46

134.92

176.11

Mitchell, Maude Wayne

59.1

112.285

131.53

Mitchell, Robert Edward

134.11

@mitdasein - Skygazing Cat ‏

38.44

@mjolinor - Rob Campbell ‏

162.14

‏@mjrharris - Michael Harris

157.1

‏@mlkef - mlkef

119.80

The second letter in @mlkef is a lowercase L.

@MMAK1201 - MellyMonz ‏

69.16

@MmeLaCrooz - Madame La Crooz ‏

46.60

169.67

‏@MmeSurly - Kelly Pentland

6.28

73.7

73.36

81.23

90.15

103.75

105.17

111.71

113.31

128.53

134.32

136.145

@mmfa - Media Matters blog

186.57

‏@mneylon - Michele Neylon

136.13

136.18

@Mobute - Jeb Lundead ‏

124.26

@MoCannoli - Katie

No Twitter account with this ID found on 28 September 2013.

134.41

@mochanya - Ɲicolє ☀ ‏

164.30

@MohnishMoorjani - Mohnish Moorjani

Is this the same person quoted by Vidyut @Vidyut in  https://twitter.com/#!/Vidyut/status/94312261618905088 ?

128.68

‏@moiragallaga - MOIRA GALLAGA

20.32

111.139

‏@MoistPork - Moiste Porque

9.21

38.14

38.17

44.137

44.201

53.18

56.17

70.4

72.28

100.49

101.55

111.18

113.127

118.63

136.104

141.35

178.34

‏@mojo_bones_ - ReeseButCallMeMojo

165.79

@mojorojo - Rohan Joshi

119.52

@molls - Molly McAleer ‏

17.1

75.29

100.50

133.9

@Molly_Kats - molly

103.36

107.83

‏@MollySneed - Molly

32.16

@molodyko - Микола Молодыко ‏

152.14

‏@MomAnony - Not Your Mother

81.6

‏@MomentumIonE - Momentum

74.48

‏@Momfia - Emmerson McGinnis

30.58

53.28

81.27

103.34

109.86

123.52

@monaeltahawy - Mona Eltahawy

119.5

128.5

176.35

178.66

@moniquevalcour - Monique Valcour

141.81

@monkchips - James Governor ‏

44.230

‏@monokrow - Jack Door

110.99

@MontePaulsen - Monte Paulsen

186.58

@moonlit_verse - Moonlight ‏

Includes: @chocolate_eyed - Bittersweet

74.13

@moonlitdesert - نُسيبة

Formerly: @simplynusi - Nusaybah. ‏

46.49

54.3

139.53

‏@moonsez - Moon

110.132

Moore, Charles

Writer for The Telegraph @Telegraph

118.38

Moorthy, Srikantan Tan

130.63

@MooseAllain - Moose Allain ‏

69.42

72.138

95.18

139.3

@moot - moot

27.76

27.77

186.96 – added late and out of sequence

Morell, Michael

146.11

Morellé (sic, could be Morelly)

186.62

@morgan_murphy - Morgan Murphy ‏

43.62

62.31

119.4

‏@MorganJ7 - Captain Morgan

46.40

97.3

163.96

170.26

Morrison, Ann M.

111.130

@Morros - morros

128.97

176.178

@mosharrafzaidi - Mosharraf Zaidi ‏

103.9

141.11

@moshekasher - Moshe Kasher ‏

110.128

111.32

Moss, Ann

19.2

19.3

@mostlyjokes - mostly jokes

41.4

@MotherJones - Mother Jones

157.16

@Mothpete - Peter Biggerboat; Peter Sharkface; Shades Grey Nurse; Peter Batmaniac

16.48

72.47

104.40

107.132

111.45

123.103

138.3

@Mouthy_ - Muath ‏

42.34

55.4

@MouthyMess - Toots. ‏

69.59

@mpylayev - mariya pylayev ‏

118.94

156.16

‏@Mr_goose007 - Mr_Goose007

109.16

@MrBigFists - Jonathan Sloan, Jonathan

123.36

123.84

@MrBrownEye2 - Brown Eye

No account with this ID found on 29 March 2013.

21.26

104.17

109.89

111.92

@MrFornicator - Jamie Capria ‏

6.26

10.26

69.87

110.19

111.60

112.22

129.16

136.139

163.136

176.52

@MrGeorgeWallace - George Wallace ‏

45.14

119.79

@MrMichaelSpicer - Michael Spicer ‏

21.22

112.154

‏@MrNoLaughs - Matt Sturbator

112.3

@mrossletters - Michael Ross ‏

117.4

@mrptrck - Patrick

133.20

‏@MrsGoose69 - МrsG

6.31

6.36

40.15

43.22

45.10

45.13

104.9

111.116

124.108

165.34

165.107

176.76

@MrsMikePatton - Pink Cigarette; Ænima

117.94

166.138

176.69

@MrsSelfDestrukt - Miss Anthro Pissed

164.20

@mrsnovocaine - Faye; Rosa

No Twitter account with this ID found on 16 May 2013.

69.38

164.148

@MrsRupertPupkin - lauren caltagirone

104.3

112.46

112.57

112.82

118.21

166.151

@MrT1M - Indicud ‏

30.9

42.42

‏@mrtruthandsoul - truthNSoul

172.26

@MrWordsWorth - Mark Campbell

72.130

86.67

‏@Ms_Moneypenny_ - Miss Moneypenny

46.5

@Ms_Mosman - Jessica

Includes:‏ @Oshungurl - Jessica

48.14

112.164

125.22

@MsCarlissima - Carly

100.66

@msloulou - Zillah Gashlycrumb

16.32

@msnbc - msnbc

130.91

‏@msquinn - megan quinn

133.103

@msuster - Mark Suster

69.47

@MsVitch - valarie b

86.84

@Muath_tu - Muath ‏

No Twitter account with this ID found on 7 August 2013.

117.90

123.3

139.45

174.20

‏@MuffinButty - Dolly Dagger

68.11

‏@murderbytweets - Psycho is my petname

166.352

@my_musings_ - Payal ‏

134.116

@mybigblondelife - Hannah Elisabeth ‏

100.110

165.132

@myconfusedface - Waj ‏

38.52

56.36

118.9

133.23

165.120

@MyDarkSide73 - Nevermind ‏

164.162

166.345

‏@mykola - mykola bilokonsky

57.38

57.39

@MyLoveGoesDown - Breathless ‏

27.19

‏@myracles - myr

93.17

130.32

@myraemacdonald - Myra MacDonald ‏

44.88

83.57

83.60

83.61

83.62

83.64

83.66

@myrrh - myrrh

111.117

130.56

164.55

‏@MysticPrism_ - P.S.

Earlier: @Boobiliicious

176.43

@mysticsavage - Virginia Lore

103.41

164.178

@Mythos_Media - Mythos Media

Includes: ‏@agent139 - James Curcio

95.10

@MyTweetLilLife - Mrs. Me ‏

38.31

@Mytwoscentz - Mytwoscentz ‏

64.20

‏@mzeld - Mae

Includes: @HerMaeness - Mae

5.6

30.14

44.31

44.50

44.148

44.173

45.3

55.11

72.18

75.45

86.20

86.57

100.65

100.116

102.9

102.23

103.30

103.32

104.86

110.42

112.141

113.123

119.36

119.83

125.94

128.109

134.63

136.77

136.153

163.78

164.51

165.72

165.90

166.6

166.7

166.8

166.184

166.298

166.330

168.39

176.86

176.148

180.14

@N0pantz - hooper. ‏

35.31

‏@NabihaMeher - Nabiha Meher Shaikh

41.11

103.77

113.119

119.6

119.7

128.25

128.26

128.39

128.72

@nachosarah - Sarah Beattie

103.54

@NAChristakis - Nicholas Christakis

166.417

@nadimgalal - Nadim Galal ‏

73.84

123.57

@nakashimae - Ellen Nakashima

157.41

@naman_k - namankumar

115.1

@name_inspector - The Name Inspector

9.1

64.22

69.2

@NamingTheDead - Naming the Dead

83.30

@NamJunePaikArt - NamJunePaikArtCenter

78.1

78.2

78.3

78.4

78.5

@nancycc - Nancy Man

112.42

@nanog - NANOG

155.9

@naomirwolf - Naomi Wolf

111.100

‏@narendra - Narendra Rocherolle

110.95

Naseer, Ghalia

133.87

‏@NASHterpiece - Nash

163.45

@natalijaheslop - Natalijakae ‏

62.16

@NatalieRoos - Natalie Roos ‏

119.54

124.41

124.46

@natashaleggero - Natasha Leggero

38.48

73.4

110.66

113.11

113.109

136.35

166.26

166.27

172.3

@natashalennard - Natasha Lennard

83.31

‏@nategorby - Nate Gorby

4.47

@nationallampoon - National Lampoon

124.5

@Natkitty420 - Nosey, aren't ya?

104.84

@NatlSecCnslrs - NatlSecCounselors

Tweets by Kel McClanahan

147.19

‏@NatyBietz - Boss Ladyy

176.48

Nauert, Rick

140.65

@naughtynaffit - Synonymph ‏

6.17

6.35

166.28

‏@navanax - 50% More Slime; Adrian Woodworth; Adrian

10.35

44.3

56.37

69.112

70.16

130.51

134.7

136.129

156.36

165.94

166.186

176.88

178.37

@navarrotells - Joe Navarro

108.8

@navesssa - Dora the Explorer ‏

43.77

@nayele18 - Renee ‏

118.84

164.37

@Nayrouz_Abouzid - Nayrouz Abouzid

109.17

@nazgul - Kee Hinckley

27.72

@NazMraz - Nasrin ‏

30.18

30.87

46.61

110.61

124.70

176.106

@nburrr - Nikki Havoc; Nikki HT

No Twitter account with this ID found on 25 April 2013.

42.23

44.18

44.160

166.289

175.23

178.17

@ncardozo - Nate Cardozo ‏

153.11

@nealbrennan - Neal Brennan

16.31

111.54

125.92

@nealstephenson - Neal Stephenson ‏

178.64

@NeelaVanam - Subhashini ‏

178.60

@NeelieKroesEU - Neelie Kroes ‏

144.8

‏@NeilBhatiya - Neil Bhatiya

15.16

@NeinQuarterly - Nein. ‏

9.15

69.26

113.22

164.16

@nerdamage - nerdamage

4.12

4.29

5.5

18.3

23.37

23.39

28.2

30.6

30.7

30.46

30.80

30.84

35.8

39.21

39.23

40.36

42.56

43.23

43.25

43.26

43.27

43.35

43.41

43.56

44.33

44.154

44.170

44.208

44.235

44.237

44.244

45.1

45.37

46.4

46.42

48.27

48.39

48.40

49.3

58.22

63.7

63.15

68.6

68.7

69.28

69.36

69.76

69.81

69.90

69.105

69.115

81.25

86.40

103.25

104.33

104.36

104.47

112.140

113.75

116.28

117.25

117.170

117.181

117.196

118.12

118.83

118.143

123.63

123.80

123.110

124.27

128.50

128.56

128.76

163.4

163.6

163.36

163.97

163.106

164.11

164.36

164.39

164.125

165.74

165.80

165.81

165.166

165.173

166.15

166.23

166.38

166.68

166.108

166.134

166.257

166.329

166.340

168.21

168.22

168.25

168.26

168.31

168.49

169.51

170.28

170.45

170.48

170.71

170.83

170.86

171.24

172.47

174.2

174.10

176.5

176.41

176.46

176.70

176.77

176.121

176.137

176.146

176.172

176.181

176.183

178.31

178.49

178.57

@nerdsrockk - Gio

45.24

166.91

175.12

175.16

@NetworkWorld - Network World

49.2

@NeuroticMess - Psychotic Insanity ‏

112.202

@Newsweek - Newsweek

48.50

166.387

166.388

@NewYorker - The New Yorker

20.4

51.4

63.24

76.6

@NextNavy - Craig Hooper ‏

131.1

‏@NextPotModeI - ♕ KG

103.26

@nicfit75 - inappropriate mom ‏

23.5

@nichimtakt - nichimtakt ‏

176.61

@Nicholey23 - Nichole ‏

166.201

@Nick_Frost - Nick Frost ‏

117.188

@Nick_Twist - Nick Twist ‏

107.36

166.76

170.20

‏@Nickadoo - Nick Stadler

Includes: @NickadooLA - Nick Stadler

43.67

50.4

69.83

70.15

107.35

119.25

169.48

@nickbilton - Nick Bilton ‏

36.6

109.69

@NickBossRoss - Nick ‏

75.34

75.81

104.4

163.95

@NickdeBruyne - Nick de Bruyne

30.83

@nicks_663 - Nikhil Singh ‏

133.99

@nickspears - Nick Spears

110.18

‏@nickwiger - Nick Wiger

10.25

@NickyDico - Nicholas ‏

6.9

71.21

@NickyOfYoung - Nicky Young ‏

133.25

@nicthacker - Nic Thacker

No Twitter account with this ID found on 9 June 2013.

72.59

@NietzscheQuotes - NietzscheQuotes ‏

64.15

@nigburt - Nick; Bro Doggy

109.33

@Nigella_Lawson - Nigella Lawson

111.101

@nighatdad - Nighat Dad

103.20

113.2

128.83

128.102

@NightValeRadio - Night Vale podcast ‏

76.45

81.7

81.8

81.9

81.10

81.31

81.36

82.4

82.5

82.10

86.14

86.19

86.68

86.75

86.78

124.43

133.43

‏@nihang - Sarabjit Singh

44.9

45.31

74.30

75.2

105.1

111.83

@nihilismplus - n+ ‏

81.21

@nikhildave86 - Nikhil Dave

125.74

‏@NikiWithIssues - Niki

6.11

21.17

50.2

58.8

72.73

72.91

72.135

75.37

90.7

97.2

100.11

112.244

117.123

124.8

124.13

134.79

139.6

163.48

163.138

165.185

166.162

166.265

176.87

@NikkiGlaser - Nikki Glaser ‏

107.4

Nikolova - Elena

166.415

@nilanjanaroy - Nilanjana Roy ‏

54.2

166.414

‏@NilimDutta - Nilim Dutta

44.101

@nilssonanders - Anders Nilsson

40.24

‏@Nimrah_B - Nimrah Bader

171.4

@ninaundercovers - Nina ‏

100.16

165.201

168.50

175.11

@ninja_drums - bill naai ‏

48.12

69.19

71.28

129.10

136.61

140.57

163.149

‏@Nipun - Nipun Srivastava

53.29

@nirvana68 - eaton toomuchcrap

Twitter ID and screen name on 21 July 2013, when this account was found to have been disabled: @nirvana68 - giovanni aversa

101.20

129.23

@nitabhalla - Nita Bhalla ‏

44.97

128.105

@nixskits2 - nixskits ‏

48.11

@nklopfen - neilk ‏

The third letter in this @username is a lowercase letter L.

12.16

@noahkalina - Noah Kalina

53.52

53.53

@noahWG - Noah Gray ‏

112.130

112.131

Noble, Karen

Unable to confirm the Twitter ID of Karen Noble. Is it @kwnoble?

128.44

@NoContextCosmo - Cosmo Out of Context ‏

134.125

134.130

@NoLuckWanted - NoLuckWanted ‏

Includes: @NoLuckNeeded - NoLuckNeeded.com ‏

27.52

30.43

44.228

44.243

46.53

46.54

46.55

70.11

111.14

163.102

164.78

164.150

166.181

166.221

174.27

NOmad Red Owl

125.83

163.70

186.64

186.65

187.7

@noog - noog

Includes: @NoogsCorner - Noog

130.30

@NoorShamma - Noor Shamma ‏

27.8

42.19

54.11

55.9

107.99

118.28

163.63

163.160

166.87

166.267

174.21

176.100

176.130

Nordquist, Richard

19.4

19.9

19.12

@NorthernMagic - Northern Magic

No Twitter account found with this ID on 14 July 2013.

87.7

164.93

@NoSpankYou - Fallen Angel

72.86

72.149

‏@Not_Zombie_Prey - Zombie, Interrupted; Sugar☠Magnolia ‏

117.105

164.29

‏@NotE0157H7 - RIST_18D8

117.166

‏@NoteHear - Note Hear

118.147

‏@nothingcatchy - Jeees

76.28

@NotJPo - Poe corno2; Ms. Shiz; Gone Peauxstal; Peaux; Mrs @_Shizzle; Mrs Peauxtatohead; PeauxJSimpson

26.5

30.37

30.39

38.65

41.8

43.11

43.12

43.36

43.40

44.277

46.34

53.33

101.17

111.65

111.97

112.99

113.125

117.92

118.34

166.107

166.376

169.53

170.73

176.80

176.199

176.200

176.201

176.202

178.29

@notreallyart - B Jones

166.86

@NOTwesclark - Wes Clark ‏

10.21

‏@notytony - Tony Sebastian

123.75

@noveldoctor - Stephen Parolini

111.2

@nPhelendriqal - Cruz! ‏

21.13

58.23

170.24

‏@nsa - NSA

Parody account

166.205

@nsheizaf - noam sheizaf

157.18

‏@numbertze - Number Tze

113.134

@nuqsh - Sadaf Baig ‏

41.5

69.116

103.17

128.80

128.101

@NurseRatchet719 - Janine ‏

175.26

Nyad

Posted on Yahoo Answers in 2010

102.11

@NYCBaby - Abigail Gullo ‏

112.250

@NYHistory - N-YhistoricalSociety

77.4

@NyLow9 - NyLow

10.12

46.30

48.25

103.10

110.9

169.49

@NYMag - New York Magazine

62.52

@NymphoFor - ChangingUp

105.11

@nytimes - The New York Times

8.3

10.44

10.45

16.24

28.8

44.184

62.37

69.94

72.10

75.31

75.42

100.47

101.35

105.3

111.132

113.64

117.99

117.111

117.134

118.25

119.21

122.38

124.61

125.116

129.6

130.61

131.27

140.73

152.2

157.45

164.60

164.86

165.93

168.16

172.16

‏@NYTMinusContext - NYT Minus Context

16.23

44.183

62.36

69.93

72.9

75.30

75.41

101.34

117.98

117.110

117.133

118.24

119.20

124.60

164.59

164.85

165.92

172.15

O'Dell - Kathy

Author of "Fluxus Feminus" in The Drama Review. Vol. 41, No. 1, 1997

66.7

@Obscureskies - AAA ‏

74.9

100.1

‏

@obxlaw - Curmudgeon at Law ‏

170.44

@OddLetters - Molly Sauter

15.9

@OGJefe - OG Jefe.

Includes: @ElJefe121 - El Jefe; @RapGameJefe‏ \- Jeffrey

4.11

46.45

112.6

165.63

166.17

166.100

176.108

@OhhhLuiss - Kim Jong-Luiki

Includes: Señor Moon ‏@luiki89

166.104

‏@OhhMikee - Mike Wheeler

43.49

@OhhScarlet23 - Scarlet ‏

104.59

@ohjrauhl

23.29

@ohmadasahatter - Lynne Marie ‏

2.3

62.45

@OhNoSheTwitnt - OhNo$heTwitnt ‏

165.38

166.72

‏@OhSweetCharity - OhSweetCharity

166.109

@OhWowThatsAwk - Glen Coco

125.67

‏@oil_is_opium - Karachi Feminist

171.2

@oliverburkeman - Oliver Burkeman

19.6

@oliveremberton - Oliver Emberton

140.37

140.61

140.62

@omar_quraishi - omar r quraishi ‏

113.78

@omgitsleesa - leesa; mrs. uppinghouse

Includes: @leesmf - lmf

16.52

17.2

72.129

92.15

100.73

101.39

101.47

109.12

109.32

110.92

111.124

112.35

112.41

112.217

116.3

128.22

136.138

165.151

@omibaloney - Naomi Irene Rohatyn ‏

57.11

117.108

128.16

@OneWonderWoman - Won-Dirty Woman ‏

23.22

@OngoingBS - BS

16.51

93.19

136.160

@onijewel - M.Jones ‏

166.261

@onion_cereal - brian ‏

63.4

@OpenRightsGroup - Open Rights Group ‏

145.35

@Openthemag - Open Magazine

44.93

117.102

129.22

@OPinfo - Olivera Perkins

125.33

@Oprah - Oprah Winfrey

168.13

@orionp - Orion Protonentis ‏

141.22

Oriya

186.66

186.67

@osigat - Judge Mental ‏

176.59

@osno13 - 100 Pound Salmon ‏

69.118

‏@OspreyRich - Richard Sullivan

98.2

@OutrageousM - OutrageousM ‏

89.6

@over_rated - Overrated Outcast ‏

44.250

92.21

‏@overdrev - Michael Jackson

159.1

@OvertDictionary - The Overt Dictionary

101.36

103.71

110.109

110.110

@owlparliament - Lady Grey; Catch Adams

112.63

164.189

‏@owocki - Kevin Owocki

140.17

‏@oxbollocks - oxbollocks

27.31

@oye_gujju - *professor gujju* ‏

35.11

@p8ntar - p8ntar ‏

56.21

@Padmhasini - T.Padmhasini ‏

27.57

@paidContent - paidContent

41.18

@palafo - Patrick LaForge ‏

141.41

@pan_duh - mint cdromney ‏

Includes: @Pan_duh - Stacey aka Panda

59.5

104.75

107.121

123.16

165.167

@panktimehta - Pankti Mehta

165.7

@PantsDonkey - Justin Cider ‏

72.111

‏@papadimitriou - Paul Papadimitriou

168.53

@ParaJanitor - Boss ‏

165.155

@parakram_h - Parakram हजारिका ‏

27.63

@paranoidplastic - CHRIS

9.5

‏@Parentpains - Parentpains

10.9

38.12

123.76

130.34

165.181

176.78

@parisreview - The Paris Review

172.56

@parmy - Parmy Olson

27.78

@PASHAORG - P@SHA ‏

164.7

@pathways on Identi.ca.

Identical screen name on Twitter. On 16 October 2013 his Twitter account was found to have experienced a change of control.

139.46

‏@patrickwitty - Patrick Witty

53.54

@patrishhhha - Leigh-Cheri ‏

113.28

113.49

@pauldanke - Paul Danke

62.32

@paule_wog - Paul

69.27

‏@PaulLewis - Paul Lewis

76.42

‏@paulocoelho - Paulo Coelho

177.1

177.2

‏@PaulRevere1986 - Paul Revere

124.85

@PaulyMortadella - Pauly Miller ‏

No Twitter account found with this ID on 18 March 2013.

107.127

116.8

164.26

180.11

@PaulyPeligroso - Pauly Casillas

35.34

125.65

@Paxochka - Pax Paxochka ‏

16.1

16.2

30.73

45.36

57.8

70.3

70.17

72.115

86.89

93.14

105.50

105.58

107.17

107.28

109.18

112.138

113.101

113.112

123.77

136.6

140.18

165.98

165.104

@paayal__ - Payal.....

92.27

92.28

92.29

@pblake123 - Paul Blake

62.7

@PBS - PBS ‏

110.115

@peaceintruth1 - Rusty ‏

30.30

44.188

70.6

110.43

118.55

139.52

166.282

@Peachyisk - Peachy isk!

6.4

113.74

163.39

‏@peckishly - peckishly

9.23

42.59

48.16

104.20

134.65

165.100

165.156

165.189

165.193

170.67

‏@PellMull - Marv Mfwic

108.7

@penbleth - Penbleth

116.1

@PennyRed - Laurie Penny ‏

103.21

103.23

166.132

‏@PereLebrun - David Kasper, Esq.

125.97

@perryhewitt - Perry Hewitt ‏

53.57

@pertyugly - Die Pretty ‏

56.28

@Peter_Orner - Peter Orner

100.46

@peterbregman - Peter Bregman

140.71

@peterbyrnes - Peter-john Byrnes

No Twitter account with this ID found on 5 July 2013.

86.63

112.156

‏@peterjames48 - peterjames48

44.263

180.24

@peterjmunson - Peter J. Munson ‏

98.52

98.54

98.55

141.80

@peterthiel - Peter Thiel

33.2

‏@Petey__E - Classic Pete

68.1

174.24

@PheasantPluckr - John Jacob ‏

170.79

@philipofthedeep - Philip Krohnengold ‏

112.249

‏@philoquotes - PhiloQuotes

164.175

@phillyprof03 - Kim Wilson ‏

132.5

@pienelain - Little Tiger

110.41

‏@pierre - Pierre Omidyar

153.6

157.29

@Pierre__4 - Pierre ‏

123.39

165.68

@Pink_Steel - Cherry Row

Includes: @Mommie_EJ - EJ; @Cherry_Row - EJ ‏

90.4

136.137

@PinterestFake - The Fake Pinterest ‏

64.24

@piplips - Linda ‏

20.26

136.130

169.7

@PissMiggy_ - Tiffany Slaughter ‏

No Twitter account with this ID found on 29 September 2013.

134.96

141.29

@Pitinka - Tracy ‏

6.7

6.19

56.9

178.67

@pixelpiper - Pixel Piper ‏

28.4

110.45

128.73

@pixidixidoo - Adriana

105.51

@pjlynch - Patrick James Lynch ‏

129.7

@PjSparkless - P.J Sparkles ‏

44.17

@pladner - Peter Ladner

127.1

@plemur - Nick; Nick Alias Plemur

86.24

119.37

@pmarca - Marc Andreessen

130.74

‏@pmclellan - Pat McLellan, W.D.

76.29

@poeks - Jen Oslislo

Includes: @Poeks - Poeks

101.1

118.1

164.121

166.105

180.36

@PolhunterP - Pol ‏

163.91

@PolicyMic - PolicyMic

30.4

124.116

131.20

‏@PolyesterPony - PolyesterPony

107.51

@Polygon - Polygon

186.95

@poonam_yadav - Poonam Yadav ‏

44.94

@PoppawSteve - Steve

Includes: @Poppa_Steve - Steve; NunYa

8.4

141.39

@PoppyD - Poppy Dinsey ‏

100.123

124.99

‏@PORNOPINION - Hank Moody; Not Hank Moody ‏

39.18

112.187

@PortlandiaGirl - Erin

112.43

@postsecret - PostSecret

39.3

39.4

101.10

101.11

@pragmatic_d - pragmatic_desi ‏

44.273

@pragmatistic - Vaibhav ‏

27.54

168.44

@PraxisUniversal - Praxis Universal

No Twitter account with this ID found on 21 July 2013. Appears to have stopped tweeting at the end of 2010.

100.92

112.252

‏@preawsaurus - sweet p; Sweet P; p skittle ‏

10.1

10.4

20.14

20.17

41.13

43.18

43.21

44.209

44.227

44.259

56.18

58.33

64.29

68.5

73.88

100.30

110.60

110.122

111.66

112.84

112.247

113.70

117.156

118.66

118.82

128.91

163.25

164.22

164.88

164.132

165.111

166.14

166.31

166.117

166.119

166.121

166.182

166.264

166.342

166.359

166.360

169.31

174.3

174.22

176.42

176.58

176.65

176.169

@Preppier - Prepstar ‏

110.28

@pressfreedom - CPJ

157.26

‏@PrettiestPickle - Prettiest Pickle

69.79

166.249

166.354

@primawesome - 5318008

76.18

@PrincessAbs24 - mrs abs ‏

166.110

@PrincessBL0NDIE - Princess Blondie ‏

21.1

@PrincessOhSassy - BlueEyedSass ‏

44.47

@pritamJAYKAR - The Penis Monologue

Includes: ‏@P3nisMonologue - The Penis Monologue

57.18

@PritishNandy - Pritish Nandy

165.5

‏@PrivateSnuffy - Chris Zeitz

98.33

‏@priyankablah - Priyanka Blah

108.36

@priyankac19 - Priyanka Chaturvedi ‏

45.32

Prodromou, Evan

52.2

52.3

@ProfessorEnron - Lay Skilling et al. ‏

132.7

‏@ProResting - Miss L

102.1

102.2

131.25

‏@pseudofauxme - michael

44.157

134.124

‏@Psquatch - matt prindle

109.38

@PsychCentral - PsychCentral

140.66

‏@Psycholyst - Psycholyst

46.22

72.8

113.23

163.87

166.173

166.290

@psychotic_dude - The dude himself ‏

43.54

@PsychToday - Psychology Today

108.9

111.113

‏@ptcIcares - PTCL

Parody account.

144.24

@PTI_News - Press Trust of India

144.25

@publicbooks - Public Books

23.8

@pudding_club - sean o ‏

118.151

176.118

‏@PuddingBoobs - Puddin Warhole; Puddin; Miss Puddin Pantzz; Puddin Pantzz; Puddin Sudafed ‏

6.12

6.42

30.44

69.34

71.37

75.15

100.94

118.41

128.17

166.185

174.4

@punkystarfish - Justine Nienaber ‏

27.24

27.42

32.3

32.17

38.15

38.37

43.31

46.12

56.5

63.20

73.6

73.77

87.22

105.66

107.5

107.7

107.98

107.103

107.111

107.118

108.27

111.48

111.49

111.119

113.18

113.24

118.109

118.166

119.61

123.50

123.61

124.15

129.9

136.79

139.9

139.10

139.11

139.12

139.32

140.60

166.334

170.30

176.62

‏@Purba_Ray - Purba Ray

100.67

102.31

102.32

‏@purpledmal - Mal Merpi

16.38

pyq6

Posted a comment to this article: "Aliens may destroy humanity to protect other civilisations, say scientists." By Ian Sample, The Guardian, guardian.co.uk, @guardian 18 August 2011.

84.8

‏@PyrBliss - Miss Fuckalicious

4.13

30.69

35.23

44.109

71.6

75.78

100.5

100.32

100.55

100.70

100.71

102.47

112.8

112.111

134.70

163.57

164.25

164.110

165.188

166.71

166.128

166.299

168.28

169.61

170.43

170.50

174.32

176.34

176.47

176.110

176.127

176.158

176.182

178.27

178.71

‏@qikipedia - The QI Elves

69.12

87.16

142.21

@Qu4rtKn33 - Amelia Erfart ‏

125.81

‏@QuantumSmartAss - Jay Dearhouse

62.19

98.57

@QuinnK - Quinn Katherman

73.40

@Quora - Quora

9.40

140.38

@qz - Quartz

3.4

42.7

131.21

131.24

136.23

136.25

140.6

145.10

160.11

160.12

186.69

186.71

‏@ra - Ramsey Nasser

166.95

@Raabart_theLion - Raabart ‏

102.33

@rachel2manypaws - miss shushy paws

Includes: @dirtypaws7 - Rachel

164.156

@rachelincolour - rachel

128.1

@rachiecandice - Rachie ‏

27.56

38.54

42.39

94.4

166.212

166.215

166.222

176.193

@rachow - rachow

71.15

110.85

176.156

‏@Radhika_Khera - Radhika Khera

5.2

5.4

@radicalbytes - Jonathan McIntosh

186.94

@RadioPakistan - Radio Pakistan

111.23

@ragazzel - Rez ‏

45.9

102.8

111.8

117.21

118.78

118.163

124.31

139.35

@raghavshanoy - raghav shanoy ‏

78.11

@RainyBritain - Josh

163.90

@Raistlend - the White Crayon ‏

164.92

‏@rajeshkalra - Rajesh Kalra

140.83

‏@rajivwashpost - Rajiv Chandrasekaran

98.25

@RamblingMachine - Ella Capparella

On 20 April 2013 she posted a twittercide note:  http://crossingthevoid.tumblr.com/post/48467799778/goodbye-forever-beautiful-tweeps

44.161

86.81

113.36

117.78

169.4

@rambo_nz - Rambo's Apprentice ‏

170.14

‏@RameezaNizami - Rameeza Nizami

37.3

37.6

38.51

44.131

56.6

56.8

83.69

93.4

100.103

105.27

107.90

107.96

107.106

107.116

111.105

111.107

112.229

113.4

117.58

118.108

123.24

128.90

129.2

136.70

139.57

140.11

163.170

164.160

164.169

168.59

170.65

180.10

@RameshPonnuru - Ramesh Ponnuru

125.9

@rameshsrivats - Ramesh Srivats ‏

129.20

160.2

172.49

‏@Ramitology - Ramy El-Qady

117.142

117.186

‏@ramkid - Ramki

44.72

165.25

165.27

@ramlas - Ramla Akhtar

No Twitter account with this ID found at the end of 2011.

16.9

72.153

74.44

164.58

164.114

@Randazzoj - Joe Randazzo

118.144

‏@randomlybibi - Bibi Silver

164.130

@randomoracle - Cem Paya ‏

145.19

156.33

‏@rands - rands

117.37

117.187

122.2

122.32

133.33

133.80

133.91

133.95

133.97

136.2

136.163

139.43

139.44

140.3

140.30

140.34

140.35

140.55

140.82

140.84

140.87

141.17

141.18

141.24

141.40

141.64

142.26

163.119

164.176

‏@randy_vanskike - #W123Boss

98.20

98.22

‏@Randy_was_here - Cocky McCockerson

116.44

@rare_basement - Amber Eeeeeee ‏

23.35

44.130

44.181

100.76

124.47

163.135

168.19

‏@ratamack - Mack

169.35

@rationalists - CJ Werleman

107.135

125.2

128.71

134.6

134.37

@raza - Raza Syed

Includes: @highindustrial - Raza Syed

69.45

142.4

‏@Razarumi - Raza Rumi

5.19

5.20

5.21

164.115

@RBReich - Robert Reich ‏

125.114

‏@rcosgrove - Richard Cosgrove

15.1

@rdevro - Devereaux, Ryan

186.11

@readingirl - Lindsay Abrams

110.112

‏@ReallyVirtual - Sohaib Athar

9.53

166.9

@RealPButtercup - Cherry Valance ‏

26.8

‏@RealPrincessKim - Princess Kim

119.81

‏@RealPuppetIAm - Deon

117.189

@rebootdude - Jawwad Farid

164.8

‏@redherringbear - Red Herring Bear; Andy Glib; will.i.ever; RedFickenDammt

9.2

16.28

23.17

30.81

30.88

30.91

42.31

43.46

53.14

53.22

63.9

69.64

72.13

72.63

86.29

92.11

104.15

109.58

112.16

112.67

122.79

134.84

134.114

141.5

163.66

163.122

166.276

166.314

166.407

176.119

180.4

‏@Redicupidity - Some Crazy Chick

105.19

@redorbit - RedOrbit

107.42

@redpawn3 - Rock God; Pawnie; King Jeremy; Ziggy; Samoht; Rock God Zombie; Rp3; Mulder ‏

6.22

27.7

27.17

30.1

38.38

38.70

39.16

44.2

50.5

56.14

58.9

88.2

100.10

103.1

107.15

113.99

117.88

118.26

125.101

134.26

164.102

164.116

164.124

164.164

166.49

166.55

169.15

169.70

175.10

176.4

176.175

177.8

180.20

@ReelQuinn - Quinn ‏

81.28

‏@ReeseButCallMeV - ReeseButCallMeVee

170.11

@RefractReality - Ice Ed ‏

57.7

103.23

@RegLevy - Reg Levy ‏

51.5

137.11

@RegularGuy82 - Kevin ‏

98.53

98.69

98.87

Reilly, Jerome

Wrote for Independent.ie, 12 August 2012

27.85

‏@rejecter - Nibbles Spalanzani; Ms. Spalanzani; rjctr

23.32

30.50

53.39

63.26

71.25

86.64

101.28

101.62

104.26

112.31

112.165

112.266

116.10

123.98

125.20

125.42

125.51

128.9

130.65

139.48

176.204

‏@rejectionking - Sina K.

4.63

@reloaded2013 - Decka ‏

43.79

@Relocatable - Candidate #36; Relo

101.6

112.155

‏@Remiel - Gabriel '❑' Cubbage; Remiel

69.21

112.50

117.52

119.35

‏@remittancegirl - Remittance Girl

155.5

155.6

Remoff, Heather

Quoted in the article: "The Rules of Attraction - Science illuminates the differences between the sexes," by James Taranto, Wall Street Journal, 14 February 2013, http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424127887324162304578304052148043138

109.3

Remoquillo, Omar

82.13

187.1

@resnikoff - Ned Resnikoff

130.89

@Reverend_Scott - Reverend Scott ‏

20.15

@RexHuppke - Rex Huppke

57.4

112.122

‏@RGA - R/GA

38.50

43.29

133.64

‏@RichHarris2 - Richard Harris

128.95

@richmckay - richmckay

73.30

95.4

122.59

@RichNeville - Richard Neville

117.67

@rickgladstone - rickgladstone

10.43

@RiddlingDreams - Captain Caffeine

72.84

@rikpayne - Rick ‏

45.28

Risen, James

Author of: "Snowden Says He Took No Secret Files to Russia," by James Risen, The New York Times, 17 October 2013, http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/18/world/snowden-says-he-took-no-secret-files-to-russia.html

152.1

@riseupnet - riseup.net

160.16

@RitleySammich - Mookie Blaylock

89.4

@rlynn_solomon - Rachel Lynn Solomon

112.238

@rmehlinger - Richard Mehlinger Jr ‏

125.111

‏@robcrilly - Rob Crilly

83.59

139.54

178.55

@robdelaney - rob delaney

21.25

23.16

30.11

42.14

42.16

42.17

56.41

73.44

75.17

81.33

90.2

95.13

104.24

109.10

109.30

113.17

113.110

172.9

172.10

175.28

176.90

‏@robertcaruso - Robert Caruso

48.7

58.14

58.15

141.71

@roberte3 - Robert Eickmann

59.11

60.2

@RobertGreene - Robert Greene

177.6

@robferdman - Roberto Ferdman

136.24

@RobMahoney_CPJ - Robert Mahoney

157.25

‏@RobotThomas - Rob Thomas

9.16

59.15

69.41

69.155

81.34

81.47

86.2

90.19

93.11

95.21

95.22

97.6

100.38

111.102

112.13

112.68

112.273

113.131

116.4

116.34

117.82

122.20

124.21

124.24

124.81

124.118

142.3

163.26

163.108

163.128

163.132

164.1

164.10

164.57

164.161

165.33

165.171

166.146

166.157

166.170

166.216

166.218

170.59

172.45

176.111

@Robski_Boy - The Boy Wondering

75.49

111.68

118.88

168.30

@robyn_vo - Robyn Von Cunth ‏

44.175

‏@rockingtheshow - Rashid

166.85

@rocklandgroup - Bill Gately ‏

141.2

@rodney_at_large - rodney

62.21

72.81

72.126

72.127

72.137

73.20

86.54

134.45

165.153

‏@Roflindian - Rofl Indian

44.76

44.83

@RogerQuimbly - Mr Roger Quimbly ‏

141.20

@ronigrace - Veronica Grace ‏

Includes an earlier account that was disabled: @RoniGrace - Veronica ‏

On 7 August 2013 @ronigrace was found to have been abandoned and the ID taken over by someone else.

35.12

44.58

116.26

139.49

163.18

169.17

174.12

175.14

175.15

@RonPaul - Ron Paul

125.10

‏@rosekotze - Rose Kotze

112.53

112.54

112.211

166.163

178.36

Ross, Alice K

Author of: "Only one in five of those killed in CIA drone strikes in Pakistan have been named," Naming the Dead project of the Bureau of Investigative Journalism, 21 September 2013, http://www.thebureauinvestigates.com/namingthedead/only-one-in-five-of-those-killed-in-cia-drone-strikes-in-pakistan-have-been-named/?lang=en

83.29

@rotusbrossum - Charissa

100.102

@roughdiction - RoughDiction

117.65

@roughtype - Rough Type

Nicholas Carr's blog's Twitter feed.

166.391

178.2

@RoWack - Unpainted Huffheins ‏

165.128

@RowanMoore - Rowan Moore

81.41

‏@RoySaunderson - Roy Saunderson

141.57

141.66

@RSF788 - Ryan ‏

35.33

‏@ruchicatomar - Ruchica Tomar

78.10

@RudeRidingRomeo - Himanshu ‏

Includes: ‏@PoopDudePoop - Himanshu

44.52

53.55

100.33

@RujutaDiwekar - Rujuta Diwekar

111.137

@rukmini_shrini - Rukmini S ‏

92.23

@RumaisaMohani - Rumaisa Mohani

141.51

@RummyLauded - Your Muse ‏

27.47

56.11

56.26

58.25

71.11

110.81

111.28

113.129

113.132

117.158

166.395

‏@runasand - Runa A. Sandvik

155.10

@rupeegroupie - Rupee Groupie ‏

23.15

23.40

133.50

133.61

166.48

@ruthakers - ruthakers

72.55

100.3

102.46

105.6

108.21

110.17

133.29

134.128

@RuthePhoenix - Ruthe Phoenix

74.2

76.24

111.86

111.87

112.227

136.108

@RWW - ReadWrite

178.8

@ryan9billion - Your Ryan ‏

35.20

‏@ryanbeckwith - Ryan Teague Beckwith

156.6

@ryaninco - Ryan Armentrout‏

35.17

38.26

44.135

44.238

45.33

46.50

66.1

69.57

75.14

75.16

100.86

111.90

111.111

125.37

130.43

136.151

141.79

164.151

165.161

165.176

166.369

168.18

171.15

176.17

178.15

@RyanJJohn - Ryan J John ‏

69.150

86.92

@RyanKeith15 - Ryan Hager ‏

112.86

112.117

‏@RyanLizza - Ryan Lizza

153.3

153.4

@rydontcare - Ryanne

20.14

163.115

@rz0ndy - Randy ‏

69.5

@Saba_Imtiaz - Saba Imtiaz

112.174

@sabakhan - Saba Khan ‏

5.7

38.61

166.51

@sabeen - Sabeen Mahmud ‏

117.184

@SableFlare - SableSushi ‏

29.1

@sabre_squirrel - Saber-Squirrel ‏

69.151

73.41

73.69

104.37

124.65

‏@SachinKalbag - Sachin Kalbag ‏

94.1

128.65

165.4

165.13

165.14

165.20

165.21

165.22

165.23

165.24

165.26

Sagan - Françoise

111.131

@sagarikaghose - Sagarika Ghose ‏

44.102

@Sahir__khan - Sahir Khan ‏

136.157

@SaintStoney - Chris West ‏

85.7

‏@saliltripathi - Salil Tripathi

57.32

57.33

@SalmanRushdie - Salman Rushdie ‏

86.43

@Salon - Salon.com

83.32

@Sam19eighty - Sam ‏

46.46

@samalmightysam - Sam

112.4

125.68

‏@samanthalasko - Samantha Lasko

113.13

140.10

164.97

‏@Samarsaeed - Samar Ahmad

161.7

161.12

161.28

161.32

161.35

161.36

161.39

@SammyHopee - Samantha Chrisman ‏

44.30

@samramuslim - Samra Muslim ‏

110.10

@samyspaz - Samantha; Token Sam

42.40

56.7

163.17

166.148

‏@sanasaleem - Sana Saleem

44.34

44.35

44.36

44.37

44.125

44.191

83.26

112.144

128.100

136.39

165.142

@sandiegokat - dietcokehead ‏

137.32

@sandipsabharwal - sandip sabharwal ‏

134.53

@SandyPeterz - Sandy Peters ‏

123.66

@SaraESpivey - Sarachels; PUNTED CUNT FACE; Sara Spivey ‏

4.52

‏20.16

20.31

81.46

101.13

122.70

166.188

174.23

@SarahFemme - Sarah

122.71

@SarahFKessler - Sarah Kessler

34.4

@sarahintampa - Sarah Perez

48.42

@sarahkendzior - Sarah Kendzior

30.3

117.71

124.36

124.110

124.111

124.112

124.113

124.114

125.3

125.4

125.5

130.7

130.8

130.9

130.70

130.71

131.2

131.3

131.4

131.5

131.6

131.7

131.8

131.9

131.10

131.11

131.12

131.13

131.14

131.16

131.19

131.28

131.29

131.30

131.31

131.32

131.33

131.34

131.35

131.36

131.37

131.38

131.39

131.40

131.44

131.45

131.46

131.50

131.51

131.52

132.1

132.8

134.12

@SarahKSilverman - Sarah Silverman

10.3

103.70

128.28

163.114

‏@SarahMillican75 - Sarah Millican

170.7

170.8

@SarahR_82 - Sarah R; SarahBeerInTheFridge

56.12

168.46

170.13

176.8

176.9

@sarahsarahpeace - Sarah ‏

113.117

@saramayeux - sara mayeux

79.2

‏@Sarcasm_Machine - Sarcasm Machine

123.34

@SarcasmsWeapon - Sarcastic Commentary

134.24

@SarcasticRover - SarcasticRover ‏

64.10

@sardesairajdeep - Rajdeep Sardesai ‏

44.261

44.262

Sargeant, Emma

61.4

61.5

@SarithaRai - Saritha Rai

130.62

‏@sarnophora - Sara

169.69

‏@SashaBrenner - SashaJBrenner

16.5

21.16

38.46

39.10

171.12

176.22

178.46

@SassiChandio - Sassi Chandio ‏

165.12

@SassNoFrass - Zap My Ass BYTES ‏

166.331

@SassyMcMelons - Sassy McMelons ‏

68.16

166.287

180.18

@SassyPantssss - Sassy

72.52

102.20

@sastrytumuluri - Sastry Tumuluri ‏

141.46

141.47

‏@savvystrider - Manish

111.121

113.30

116.2

117.171

118.85

142.23

163.24

@sbakkila - Sam Bakkila

30.2

124.115

131.18

@sbellelauren - lauren ashley bishop ‏

48.44

57.2

69.24

76.23

100.4

100.75

101.49

102.5

103.56

104.29

107.60

107.82

109.81

110.2

112.106

112.123

117.93

123.4

139.23

163.65

170.74

172.17

176.36

@scaffoldjocky - Fox Moulder ‏

172.44

Scales, Robert H.

83.17

@SCbchbum - Erica B. ‏

54.5

57.36

69.144

113.103

170.34

@schaeffyquake - Brian

69.60

@schiavona - La Schiava ‏

140.53

‏@Schmoodles - Jessica

4.56

14.1

14.2

30.8

30.38

32.11

37.16

38.13

38.39

40.1

42.26

43.43

43.76

44.172

44.278

46.6

46.7

54.8

68.9

69.22

70.1

75.51

100.72

101.21

101.38

103.60

107.97

111.93

113.87

116.38

116.40

117.17

117.42

117.46

117.79

117.103

118.87

118.128

123.55

124.50

134.80

134.85

136.96

140.41

163.19

163.42

163.86

163.99

165.44

165.165

165.183

165.204

166.46

166.70

166.140

166.398

166.399

166.409

168.6

169.16

169.19

176.179

Scholtes, Peter

Died in 2009. Memorialized on http://www.pscholtes.com/

130.2

@Schroofles - Lisa ‏

9.9

166.180

@sciam - Scientific American

178.13

@Scientits - Tabster ‏

172.18

@Scobleizer - Robert Scoble

34.2

@ScottLinnen - Scott Linnen; Wile E. Quixote

48.46

73.82

112.52

129.26

136.21

@scottsimpson - Scott Simpson

89.5

100.2

@scrivenlking - Scriven King ‏

119.67

119.68

@scroll_in - scroll.in; Scroll.in

44.89

186.76

@SEAempire - Sandra Enns-Arnell

125.112

‏@SeagullCharlie - ConfusedDick

166.143

@SeanBlazed - Sean

59.17

112.179

@SeanEmeny - Sean Emeny ‏

38.20

163.112

@seanhussey - Sean Hussey

136.50

137.22

@SeanINCypress - Sean ‏

44.265

53.35

81.32

103.53

105.32

107.94

134.40

@Seanismoney - Sean Caulfield ‏

134.13

@seattle20 - Seattle2.0

141.36

@SeattlePrivacy - Seattle Privacy

160.17

162.4

@SecGen_IFA - Jane Barratt

112.278

@secmoose - Moose, not squirrel

Includes: ‏@davienthemoose - Davien The Moose

133.89

@SeeEllVee - Whiskey Tits

There are two lowercase Ls in @SeeEllVee.

21.4

72.14

122.76

125.95

@selfieharm - Never ‏

166.271

@senderblock23 - jon ‏

118.6

122.30

@senorwinces - Señor Winces

72.40

72.110

75.47

81.12

136.78

163.75

165.164

166.179

@SenRandPaul - Senator Rand Paul

US Senator Rand Paul is a Republican.

153.12

153.18 – out of sequence

@SenSanders - Bernie Sanders ‏

US Senator Bernie Sanders is an independent.

161.42

161.43

@SenWarren - Elizabeth Warren

US Senator Elizabeth Warren is a Democrat.

126.2

126.3

@SeoulBrother - SeoulBrother

72.77

117.75

136.147

@serafinowicz - Peter Serafinowicz

9.44

69.70

113.21

116.48

@SergioValenCo - Sergio ‏

44.140

44.171

56.2

74.65

165.182

166.293

169.24

170.1

180.15

@seriouslymacho - Mr.M

Includes: ‏@seriouslymanish - Mr.M

105.29

@SerpentineFlesh - βιυε ❦

Includes: @scarysherry777 - Kitty Fantastic!!!

76.35

165.71

166.102

166.152

176.50

@SexCigarsBooze - David Voth

141.58

‏@SexyInsomniac - Victoria

44.4

@SGadea - SunnyGirl ‏

30.20

166.174

166.285

@SH1V3R - SH1V3R ‏

The third character in @SH1V3R is the number one.

164.80

‏@shadeheart - Bharat Joshi

44.82

86.44

@shadihamid - Shadi Hamid ‏

141.48

@shadygeekdad - Jedi Master Shady ‏

69.131

@shahanasiddiqui - Shahana Siddiqui ‏

44.26

44.27

139.60

@shahed - Shahed Amanullah ‏

170.64

@Shahidmasooddr - Dr Shahid Masood

57.34

@shahrouzt - Shahrouz ‏

30.32

‏@Shakti_Shetty - Shakti Shetty

130.37

‏@shanethevein - Shane

4.20

16.41

16.56

26.19

30.41

40.14

43.33

44.168

44.274

46.47

68.18

72.122

92.10

97.5

103.68

112.94

116.7

122.44

124.103

130.15

134.4

141.34

166.13

166.124

166.153

166.341

166.344

176.177

180.7

@ShannonSuxx - Shannon

109.14

@shantanub - Shantanu ‏

10.38

‏@shariv67 - Shari Vanderwerf

4.15

6.20

6.37

30.25

69.85

69.88

72.31

72.78

72.147

73.61

75.77

76.22

86.59

100.40

104.76

105.12

107.13

108.31

109.57

110.5

110.48

111.120

112.92

112.110

112.137

113.100

117.84

118.162

125.93

136.143

169.37

173.7

‏@shashj - Shashank Joshi

158.14

‏@shatterpants - McBride

176.170

@ShaunRightNow - Shaun's World

76.26

@shaztaberry - Just Shazta :) ‏

73.12

@SheBanggs - Katie L

118.90

133.92

140.14

@shegotagronk - Erma Gerd ‏

176.63

‏@Sheila_Mac420 - Sheila

165.169

@shelbyfero - shelby fero

4.7

41.3

72.142

75.52

75.54

87.4

88.6

108.42

110.44

112.24

112.188

113.42

128.37

133.27

163.21

@Sheldrake - Philip Sheldrake

140.46

‏@shellyspivey - SpiveyAssassin; Spivey Deluxe

40.21

43.28

58.27

58.32

58.34

‏@Shenkitup - Nate Shenk

90.10

@Sherman_Alexie - Sherman Alexie ‏

69.146

111.50

164.50

@Sherriva - Sherri

119.62

@sherryrehman - sherryrehman ‏

111.22

165.11

@ShesAllNat - Natasha ‏

110.104

‏@sheseemslegit - Sarah Bat; KittenPrincess

164.113

166.44

@shhhmegs - megatron

71.34

‏@Shimshammy - Low Down Dirty Dog

4.26

@shiraselko - Shira

102.7

104.2

104.55

118.31

118.73

134.82

134.94

136.98

138.5

139.37

165.195

166.12

@ShirazHassan - Shiraz Hassan ‏

125.27

125.29

@ShitNobodySays - Shit Nobody Says

38.49

@ShittingtonUK - Sean Tejaratchi

122.61

‏@shkeeber - Shkeeber

76.21

166.396

‏@Shock_Monster - John Solo

44.162

76.13

@ShootIndia - Simon de Trey-White

44.70

‏@ShoutingGoddess - ShoutingGoddess

Includes: @GoddessofShout - Goddess of Shout

6.33

6.43

9.49

16.29

16.47

23.11

26.7

27.35

27.46

40.11

40.18

42.18

43.73

43.78

44.22

44.158

44.186

44.219

44.240

45.11

45.19

58.4

58.12

62.14

63.2

64.14

68.10

86.52

102.3

103.52

112.34

112.108

112.259

117.129

117.190

128.2

128.34

136.132

141.14

141.69

142.25

164.71

165.35

166.223

166.235

166.332

166.368

169.44

170.2

171.26

172.12

175.22

176.20

176.150

178.35

180.25

@siamonday - Stupid idiot. ‏

108.16

‏@siddhmi - siddhartha mitter

131.15

@sidin - Sidin Vadukut; Ozilin Mesutukut ‏

125.77

165.144

@silent_musings - Lee

44.142

128.92

134.71

@silentkpants - Kat Veetee ‏

176.168

@SilverKick - Silver Kick ‏

38.8

42.38

44.121

44.215

86.51

103.50

111.21

111.37

111.88

111.143

111.144

117.132

122.60

122.82

142.22

163.62

163.89

163.145

164.134

166.256

176.203

Silverman, Rachel Emma

Writer for The Wall Street Journal @WSJ

137.46

@SimonDuring - Simon During

23.6

‏@SimonMaloy - Simon Maloy

16.17

@SimplyMattD - Matt D.

107.74

@SimplyNamedTron - Chück. ‏

105.65

113.72

164.126

@SimplyRoguey - Rogue

42.58

‏@siren_sweet - ~SweetSiren~

She had tweeted about having pancreatic cancer for a year. Her final tweet appeared on 15 April 2013.

113.62

@Sister_Roberta - Sister Roberta ‏

27.6

@sixthformpoet - Sixth Form Poet‏

69.31

95.12

100.51

109.75

112.205

122.26

124.104

136.106

@SixWordWar - Six Word War

98.3

‏@skullcat - skullcat; aspersion cat; Indie Claws; WhoCuppedMySkullcat

2.5

4.83

9.6

10.30

44.129

46.8

46.19

63.10

70.2

107.64

111.20

112.258

123.71

123.85

163.79

163.166

166.52

166.111

166.383

168.56

176.30

@SlabBaconBP - Curtis E Flush ‏

44.223

‏@SlackArab - Sara

176.73

Slackusr [Identi.ca ID]

141.54

@SlappNuttz - SlappNuttz

On 16 July 2013 found to have been deactivated.

90.1

92.3

117.26

119.51

134.86

164.28

@slashdot - Slashdot

74.40

@Slashleen - Slashleen; Meth Hammer; Princess Anús

59.9

71.5

105.54

107.120

107.126

108.22

133.49

@Slate - Slate

107.76

‏@SlayerSays - SlayerSays

176.49

@slb79 - stacia l. brown ‏

163.167

@Slinkybrowneyes - slinky ‏

165.137

@SlllEM - Jim

This @username contains the lowercase letter L, thrice.

72.4

109.20

@slyoung5 - Sly

73.42

101.25

110.80

113.6

117.19

119.75

164.147

@smakelainen - Sami Mäkeläinen ‏

140.13

140.59

157.38

163.169

178.63

@smartypeach - Anna

Includes: @brainydame - Legs Vandercuss

9.36

30.23

43.8

107.89

110.49

119.56

165.126

166.203

176.26

‏@SMCoates - Stephen Coates

136.3

‏@smedlee - Ed Lee

4.54

43.3

43.17

119.24

146.4

166.37

172.53

@Smethanie - Stephanie McMaster ‏

Includes: @NakedNikki - Nikki

100.25

112.218

124.68

@smilinbjones

No Twitter account found for that ID on 10 September 2013. The account appears to have stopped tweeting in 2009.

123.102

@SmithsonianMag - Smithsonian Magazine

80.6

118.172

@smjcksn - Sam Jackson ‏

134.20

@Smmythe - Hairy Godmother; Miss Ma'am

125.38

@smokenfogm - SZ ‏

144.11

‏@SmokingsKills - Red-Eye Jedi

54.16

‏@Smooheed - RachS

58.2

113.7

@SmoQueenAddict - Shattergee Shattergee ‏

53.25

@smuttercup - Smuttercup

A likely change of control found on 25 July 2013.

100.8

103.31

103.57

103.64

123.15

‏@snarkarella - snarkarella

26.15

30.26

38.5

44.124

44.190

70.14

107.49

111.17

117.104

117.112

119.31

119.57

125.113

142.27

163.28

163.140

163.152

164.120

166.284

166.378

@SnarkToast - Snark Toast ‏

23.26

@SnatchGargoyle - El Huevo Ranchero

4.38

@Sneakernets - Sneakernets ‏

166.89

@snickychick - snicky ‏

72.45

104.68

@Snowden - Edward Snowden

151.3

151.5

156.11

162.17

162.18

@snowness - nicole

107.41

@snpsnpsnp - SarahNicolePrickett ‏

128.115

@SodomyClown - VICE VISCERA; Big Gay Ferris Wheel

113.80

117.113

@sofifii - Sophia rossi ‏

30.61

38.57

166.149

166.379

@SohailAbid - Sohail; Ram Mohammad Singh ‏

Includes: @selfexile (same ID on Friendfeed too)

74.37

140.77

145.8

‏@SolitaryMob - | Solitary Mob |

166.302

@solo_sonata - Matthew Daniel Green

107.2

@Soma_G - Soma Ghosh ‏

43.30

@someecards - someecards

4.33

‏@SomthinBoutSara - sara

4.24

@sonaliranade - SonaliRanade ‏

44.23

44.68

44.73

44.74

44.77

44.78

44.79

44.80

44.81

44.90

74.47

112.30

134.14

134.120

145.16

145.17

145.18

178.9

178.56

178.69

@soniafaleiro - Sonia Faleiro ‏

92.22

@Soo_Scandalouss - Smokin_Nympho ‏

44.164

64.5

163.103

163.104

166.166

171.8

@SophiaBush - Sophia Bush

111.13

Sophia, Zachary

187.10

@SoSexyErin - SexyErin ‏

42.46

Sowell, Thomas

His bio on 18 March 2013 on his website http://tsowell.com/ \- Rose and Milton Friedman Senior Fellow, The Hoover Institution, Stanford University, Stanford, California 94305.

117.30

‏@spacearcheology - Space Archeology

9.35

95.2

95.3

‏@spanner - ◅⊙▻The Spanner◅⊙▻

53.2

‏@spartacuffs - Gene Shorts

No account with this ID found on 10 May 2013.

79.4

101.59

108.13

109.76

166.219

‏@Spinchange - Chris

37.15

113.126

@Spotswoj - J.S. {lexi's}

62.35

@Spotzwoj - justin; justin s. ‏

16.42

27.30

64.21

72.35

73.52

85.6

95.15

109.27

165.78

166.20

@SpyTalker - Jeff Stein ‏

83.34

@Squeeb_Slayer - lisa ‏

176.142

‏@SRbeta - SEAN ‏

6.52

23.2

35.9

48.17

113.15

122.15

166.176

169.5

170.9

176.160

176.186

‏@sreemoytalukdar - Sreemoy Talukdar

165.9

165.10

@sruthijith - Sruthijith KK

186.68

186.70

@SSDated - Something She Dated ‏

46.13

@stacyherbert - Stacy Herbert ‏

158.1

@staffordmasie - Stafford Masie ‏

140.49

‏@StarDestructive - Stephanie Disaster

113.8

@Starlight2112 - ~*~Starlight~*~ ‏

63.19

@starwars - Star Wars ‏

117.198

@StatusInBeirut - Maral Ghanma

74.21

112.274

134.50

@stcolumbia - Dan Trombly ‏

74.56

74.58

102.35

178.70

@SteelCityDawn - Dawn Renee ‏

81.18

‏@STEELERS1972 - Tony P.

122.16

@steenyweeny - jenny

6.23

@Stef_Nfection - Infected Warpole

109.84

@StellaRtwot - Ella or Denise; Denise

104.70

178.41

Stellin, Susan

Author of "Security Check Now Starts Long Before You Fly,"The New York Times @nytimes, 2 October 2013, http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/22/business/security-check-now-starts-long-before-you-fly.html

157.44

@stephaniesits - Stephanie Gutierrez

164.158

@StephenAtHome - Stephen Colbert ‏

61.3

122.71

@StephenBCramer - Wickedwordslinger‏

170.16

@StephenWalt - Stephen Walt ‏

83.50

83.51

‏@StephStartsOver - Stephology

166.220

@SteveJerman - Steven R. Jerman

62.9

‏@stevelevine - Steve LeVine

141.42

@steven_metz - Steven Metz

112.65

123.51

124.1

@stevenbjohnson - Steven Johnson

19.7

@StevenWright - Steven Wright

117.8

@stevetweeters - Steve Tweeters

73.21

@steveworkman - Steve Workman ‏

137.15

140.54

178.61

@Stexcy - Stacy‏

9.30

20.19

43.58

69.122

72.33

101.22

112.96

165.162

170.17

@StillerDesigns - Jutta Stiller ‏

100.124

‏@StKonrath - Steffen Konrath

176.32

‏@stobie33 - Ms.T.Sto if ur nasty

23.12

@Stoned_Drone - FLYING MURDER ROBOT ‏

83.43

@stoneymoss - Deb Scott

72.25

@stopbeingfamous - Ferrari Sheppard ‏

166.263

@Storminika - Ororo Iqadi T'Challa ‏

72.145

75.43

76.36

102.42

‏@stoweboyd - Stowe Boyd

9.54

48.47

143.1

@StPaulRevere - St. Paul Revere ‏

117.148

@strangerslog - The Stranger

103.62

107.44

162.8

@StuartGray - Stuart Gray ‏

162.11

@stubbleagent - Sam Copeland ‏

80.2

80.3

80.4

165.61

@Student347 - A

72.46

@Student495 - A

104.92

‏@stupendu - Annoying Customer

164.167

@subjectobject - rachel

102.4

@subobose - Subo ‏

5.3

@sucittaM - MJ

59.6

62.26

112.135

119.38

@sucknouveau - A+

No Twitter account with this ID found on 23 November 2013.

164.155

@SudheenKulkarni - Sudheendra Kulkarni ‏

92.24

@suey_park - Suey Park ‏

15.2

15.6

15.19

15.23

15.24

15.26

@Suiz - Suiz Uzcategui ‏

164.43

@sulkywhitegirl - lauren ‏

100.53

‏@Sullivan_Smith - Mr. Kevin Sullivan

176.21

@SultanAlQassemi - Sultan Al Qassemi ‏

136.71

‏@sumpeoplelikeit - somepeoplelikeit

44.132

@SundayGuardian - The Sunday Guardian

165.19

@sunexplode - Crank Paul

174.25

@Super_Mkat - SuperDuperKat

Includes: @Its_Mkat - Its_Mkat!!!!

109.42

@SuperApple8 - I Hate Kate ‏

Includes: @kirbys4losers - Kate Herselfish; Suffer Kated

On 23 April 2013 no Twitter account found for either @kirbys4losers or ‏@SuperApple8.

27.39

44.115

118.60

163.124

163.139

166.358

170.18

176.140

@superduperjes - Bill Nye is my hero.

72.39

@superduperkewl - brendan

76.19

‏@SuperShourds - Lori

6.48

44.216

58.7

107.6

163.27

@SuperSillay - S

110.94

@superwuster - Tim Wu ‏

149.5

@suranakamal - Kamal Surana ‏

74.46

‏@SuzyCyanide - Suzy Cyanide

142.24

@svaradarajan - Varadarajan, Siddharth

186.75

‏@SveldtSmelt - Enemy

75.63

‏@swaghagswag - (swag)hag(swag)

172.32

@swarraj - Swarna Rajagopalan ‏

9.46

44.59

54.1

69.154

103.12

112.58

112.203

112.204

119.73

119.74

125.75

136.33

137.16

137.17

137.18

137.19

140.86

163.1

@swbelieves - Crisis Lined ‏

164.143

@sween - Jason Sweeney

48.5

72.75

112.245

123.59

125.45

137.8

‏@sweet_toof - Jeffrey Brian

104.23

124.74

@sweetg35 - Donna Tiso ‏

164.52

164.90

176.128

@Swell_Bro - swell dude ‏

46.21

@swissmiss - Tina Roth Eisenberg

140.39

@swollenvoice - swollenvoice ‏

163.49

@Sychlops - Rameez

105.24

@t0shiba - Mustafa Aziz Khalifa ‏

72.99

‏@tac0hell - Rachel

133.1

168.3

@tackie_jackie - Butterfingers; tackie_jackie

9.26

21.6

102.41

110.70

117.51

163.59

163.157

177.7

178.65

@takebackthetech - takebackthetech ‏

13.1

13.2

@TakePart - TakePart

110.25

@TalhaaImam - Talha

164.5

‏@TalkingBox_ - Learned Tin

66.2

@tamytoo2 - Tammy

72.88

102.15

136.142

@tanyamuzaffar - Tanya Muzaffar ‏

111.136

@tapssri - T.S ‏

170.57

@TaraReid - Tara Reid ‏

166.160

@TarekJan - TJ ‏

46.64

@tashymarie - tashy baby

No Twitter account with this ID found on 10 September 2013.

124.6

125.30

136.100

@taslimanasreen - taslima nasreen ‏

20.13

37.9

42.12

44.105

44.256

80.17

87.11

110.111

113.12

125.109

128.7

128.11

128.59

128.63

128.69

128.79

133.11

166.161

@tastefactory - pat tobin ‏

78.12

@Tat6277 - Tatyana ‏

48.37

108.2

112.5

123.2

163.125

@Tattoo_Acoustic - Ambanana ‏

30.17

@taylormcneeley - Taylor McNeeley ‏

27.58

Taylor, Paul D.

23.10

69.99

186.82

@tazeen - T a z e e n ‏

45.29

64.11

110.11

110.12

113.90

113.92

163.168

‏@teacherdude - Teacher Dude

158.12

158.13

‏@teamsilence32 - Mr. Silence

6.16

26.16

26.17

40.40

113.128

136.146

166.190

166.224

173.10

@tech_pirate - Tech Pirate ‏

Includes: ‏@technopriest5 - technopriest5

139.39

166.327

@TechCrunch - TechCrunch

32.6

48.43

136.85

138.10

@TechPolicy - Natalie Fonseca

155.4

@TechRepublic - TechRepublic

130.64

@tedalexandro - Ted Alexandro

125.40

@TedisReaI - Ted

No account with this ID found on 10 April 2013.

109.22

@TEDxBrussels - TEDxBrussels

159.7

@tef - tef ‏

62.4

157.7

157.8

‏@tejucole - Teju Cole

25.1

25.2

25.3

25.4

25.5

25.6

25.7

25.8

25.9

25.10

25.11

25.12

25.13

25.14

25.15

25.16

25.17

25.18

25.19

25.20

25.21

25.22

25.23

25.24

25.25

25.26

25.27

25.28

25.29

25.30

30.5

69.17

87.12

100.79

148.3

155.16

@Telegraph - The Telegraph

44.71

118.39

158.11

@TequilaTears - DR. Cork Killer; Marcello Morello; Tequila Tears

72.120

108.3

@TeresaAmabile - Teresa Amabile

143.3

@TeresaDiCairano - Teresa Di Cairano

143.2

@teriberry11 - Teri Berry

100.87

@TerminalSingles - Stephanie

No Twitter account found with this ID on 28 August 2013. She appears to have twittercided in 2011.

118.103

@TeslaMotors - Tesla Motors

140.52

@TesstifyBarker - Tess Barker ‏

109.9

124.48

134.59

‏@Tetley6969 - Tetley6969

174.11

Tetraodontid

186.72

186.73

186.74

@texburgher - Geoff Barnes

43.6

119.26

@text_quest - bog_bodies.gba ‏

69.54

@textinstagram - Text-Only Instagram

53.3

64.25

64.26

@textism - Dean Cameron Allen

93.12

109.31

111.89

116.33

@tezcatlipoca - Andrew Sempere ‏

28.1

@TFT_ - The Friday Times

83.72

@tgdtirstpmo - Happy Nutbag ‏

69.147

@ThaRizzy - Riz

107.40

‏@That_Damn_Duck - ☠Dead Soul Walking☠

4.65

44.249

112.128

118.125

118.134

124.33

163.20

163.93

166.400

166.402

174.5

180.35

‏@That1chk - oldchk/newattitude

118.2

@thatfootieguy

177.3

@ThatGabi - Gabrielle D

40.6

46.57

86.42

@thatguyJA - JA ‏

27.9

178.20

@thatstings - That Stings

4.37

117.85

125.56

141.60

164.67

173.5

174.8

@thatupsdude - Rob; The Robfather™ ‏ ‏

35.21

43.63

166.154

180.6

@the_1st_rule - the narrator ‏

26.13

@the_anastasia - Anastasia Kazakevich

101.67

@The_Dorkster - The Dork ‏

42.52

50.3

55.12

55.13

172.30

174.28

@the_intercept - The Intercept

83.25

147.20

186.12

‏@the_littletramp - Brian

110.33

@The_MartiniGirl - The_martinigirl

4.61

‏@the_moonface - the_moonface

10.19

16.49

53.13

75.68

79.3

86.73

94.5

112.116

117.24

118.117

125.63

136.95

@The_One_Liner - King of Puns

63.5

@The_Rain_Man_ - Rain Man

Includes: @RonTheTroll - Ron The Troll ‏

30.47

43.2

53.21

@The_Sculptress - J

166.357

178.28

@The_Separatist_ - Mordecai Ambugaton; Ted Kaczynski ‏

44.117

44.241

113.29

166.54

168.48

176.84

@the_spinmd - Mike Maney

142.17

@theabstractass - Abstract Asshole ‏

166.321

@TheAdly - A.Adly; Adly

46.62

68.19

163.98

170.85

‏@TheAnitaG - Anita

175.13

@TheAtlantic - The Atlantic

110.113

117.183

117.193

130.77

130.78

@TheBigBatman - Real Name ‏

113.133

‏@TheBiggIdea - Kevin Biggins

75.10

112.151

118.8

118.127

178.30

@theblaze - TheBlaze

145.34

@TheBlessMess - Meat Balloon; Mongrel Heart; Bless; Scandinavian Leather

26.6

60.7

75.50

75.74

106.12

112.215

118.126

118.135

‏@theblowout - The Blowout

100.60

105.52

117.34

136.154

@TheBosha - The Bosha ‏

4.28

30.56

42.60

46.59

63.3

72.133

73.56

73.62

86.48

101.65

109.23

112.36

112.37

112.80

112.114

112.129

112.241

113.114

114.1

117.119

122.17

124.32

124.39

133.8

133.19

133.26

134.29

141.28

164.63

164.66

165.125

166.307

172.46

‏@TheBubbleBubble - Jesse Colombo

9.13

130.11

130.13

130.14

134.8

134.9

134.54

134.99

134.100

134.101

134.102

134.103

134.104

134.105

134.106

134.107

134.108

134.110

134.112

@TheChrisAngel - Chris Angel

72.3

116.24

172.50

@thecoppergirl - Taylor Casti

34.3

@thedailybeast - The Daily Beast

83.36

147.23

@TheDairylandDon - Don Nichols ‏

72.83

163.5

@TheDavidBoies - David Boies

121.2

@thedayhascome - Josh Hopkins

117.47

123.35

123.74

123.106

‏@thedesertgate - The Desert Gate

133.75

134.10

The Drama Review

66.8

‏@Thedudish - dudi sharon

44.51

84.12

86.47

95.19

107.101

116.19

134.42

@TheDweck - Jess Dweck

75.26

81.3

109.71

133.42

145.13

@TheEconomist - The Economist

83.55

83.56

158.15

@thefogbender - Evan :)

73.24

@thegarance - Garance Franke-Ruta

116.13

‏@thegingerjew_ - rachel facial

56.16

105.64

118.105

‏@thegrugq - the grugq

145.25

154.12

154.15

154.16

162.9

@thehill - The Hill

156.10

@TheHPQuotes - ϟHarry Potter Quotes

142.1

142.12

@TheIlluminati - TheIlluminati

142.15

@thejakeshenry - Jake! ‏

30.60

@thejamietighe - Jamie Tighe

Includes: @TheJamieTighe - Jamie Tighe

23.23

134.89

@TheJeffBridges - Jeff Bridges Actor

107.110

@thejessbess - Jess ‏

133.57

@theJoeBiz - Joe Bizness

133.69

‏@TheLastGoddess - Sophia Walker

86.17

86.53

104.25

104.42

142.29

‏@TheLastVirgo - Shireen Soussen ♔ ‏

117.162

@theleanover - Adam Wilson ‏

55.16

@TheMainlandBlog - Mister 6 1/2 ‏

55.18

165.136

@themanwhofell - Greg

His Twitter bio and stats on 13 September 2013: I will return to Twitter on September 14th 2017. Location: London, England · themanwhofellasleep.com/FAQ.htm - 78,768 tweets. 432 following. 20,849 followers.

125.58

125.59

@TheMichaelRock - Michael Rock; Rock

118.57

165.124

@TheNewElement1 - Jason; J-SIN

Includes: @THENEWELEMENT1 - J-SIN

69.123

72.96

@thenews_intl - The News

8.6

@TheNewWarden - Rob Warden

75.28

@TheNextWeb - The Next Web

27.69

@theNuzzy - david nuzzy nussbaum

110.29

‏113.58

@theofficeprick - The Office Prick ‏

117.80

117.144

118.70

118.74

118.114

118.157

119.66

136.136

140.15

@TheOnion - The Onion

134.5

@ThePlainDealer - The Plain Dealer

125.34

@THEPokerWife - Sarah

10.18

83.2

@TheReal_AndyMac - Andy ‏

110.37

@TheRealLadyLuck - Aubri

No account with this Twitter ID found on 19 August 2013.

112.242

@TheREALSaloSion - Salo Sion ‏

93.1

176.107

‏@TheRealSheldonC - Dr. Sheldon Cooper

38.47

53.12

@TheRegister - The Register

158.17

@theresa_lauren - Theresa Couchman

Includes: @zolora - (Theresa) from NY (not NYC)

72.74

@TheRohiniReddy - Rohini Reddy ‏

6.53

6.56

48.32

therumpus.net

110.133

‏@TheS7S - Hussein Imam

54.12

‏@TheSingleWoman - TheSingleWoman

42.13

@thesocialtech - Kim Sloan

117.147

@TheSofiya - Sofiya Alexandra ‏

103.27

‏@thespacewad - Spacewad

No Twitter account found with this ID on 28 November 2013.

86.60

165.129

@TheStarMachine - Mr. Nova

No Twitter account with this ID found on 4 May 2013.

46.56

@thesulk - Alec Sulkin

30.82

53.22

55.8

59.18

72.61

76.41

81.20

81.26

86.105

87.1

88.4

88.5

93.7

100.106

100.118

103.43

103.46

105.25

107.24

107.29

107.131

109.28

109.82

112.26

112.38

112.83

113.106

117.23

118.118

123.73

125.90

129.24

133.66

163.22

163.46

166.60

166.401

@thesupergrobi - christine ‏

27.41

41.12

43.32

46.65

53.8

58.26

64.4

71.38

100.28

100.82

103.38

103.40

117.107

118.29

166.165

166.189

166.250

166.258

166.288

166.336

166.365

169.28

169.55

169.73

170.47

176.24

176.66

@TheTennisPhenom - nes; nes delaney

44.29

56.19

176.82

@TheThryll - Will Phillips

107.27

116.20

116.47

117.100

123.49

133.44

‏@thetimes - The Times of London

170.63

@thetobbie - TO33IE

Includes: @TheTobbie - TO33IE

90.18

@TheToxicWaster - Jack Koff ‏

30.76

125.23

125.88

@TheTrueDocLove - Captain Chaos

Includes: The Doctor ‏@DouchyDocLove

176.162

‏@TheTweetParrot - TheTweetParrot

75.39

@Thiane - Thiane Loureiro ‏

124.17

@thinkmariya - Mariya

140.44

‏@thirdsaturnmoon - Anna Ptasińska

107.117

‏@ThisisBeckyW - Becky Warren

98.85

@thisisjendoll - Jen Doll ‏

5.12

@thisissaira - Saira ‏

102.28

@thomas_violence - acidic jew ‏

86.76

164.107

@thumbelinasays - thumbelinasays ‏

100.37

@Tiffannia - Tiffany

101.7

103.59

124.71

@TiffanyJMoore - Tiffany

117.45

@tigergreengrove - TheCaptn

4.82

112.76

@tigersgoroooar - Mayor Baconator; Pony Starwars; Tiger Von Cunth

23.27

44.192

70.12

70.13

113.73

118.58

166.78

166.79

176.38

178.58

Tillerson, Rex W.

141.43

‏@Tillman_40 - Tillman 40

134.111

@TimeOutLondon - Time Out London ‏

44.232

‏@timescanner - TIMESCANNER

67.2

163.9

@timesofindia - Times of India

44.258

92.18

144.26

@timhaines - Tim Haines

18.1

39.13

39.14

40.20

166.135

@TimHarford - Tim Harford

115.2

‏@timmathews - Tim Mathews

42.10

74.55

74.57

83.7

83.58

83.63

83.65

98.78

133.73

133.74

134.88

137.24

139.31

152.16

@timmullaney - tim mullaney

130.75

@timoreilly - Tim O'Reilly ‏

112.269

@TimothyJPratt - Timothy Pratt

130.79

130.80

‏@TimothyS - Tim Shorrock

118.167

118.168

148.1

@timothywjohnson - Johnson, Timothy

186.56

‏@timpritlove - Tim Pritlove

69.133

@tinaisall - Tina... duh.; Tina Chesal

72.139

75.33

116.42

163.94

@Tinkerbell_ - Tink; Mrs. Tink, eh!; Shock G Tink; TinkAlmighty, eh!

27.49

54.17

112.132

117.130

168.40

176.40

@tinydoctor - Dr. Yoshev Omed; tinydoctor

Same ID on Identi.ca and Twitter.

26.14

111.108

111.109

117.164

117.165

117.167

164.17

164.19

‏@tinynietzsche - Friedrice Nietzsche

Includes: @TinyNietzsche - Friedrice Nietzsche ‏

10.34

30.77

44.141

44.276

57.1

64.1

69.89

70.7

72.21

72.66

72.67

72.68

72.102

73.3

74.4

74.7

74.8

74.18

74.20

75.65

81.35

81.37

82.1

82.6

86.28

95.17

110.22

112.2

113.76

115.3

116.6

117.135

118.56

118.76

122.23

122.78

129.8

131.41

136.68

136.128

139.14

139.17

139.18

163.7

163.11

163.12

163.13

163.16

163.35

163.40

163.41

163.54

163.55

163.71

164.2

164.53

164.65

164.89

164.101

164.123

164.165

166.75

166.251

166.253

166.319

168.38

169.42

170.12

172.19

172.20

172.42

172.48

176.31

176.135

176.163

180.17

‏@tinytittays - TinyTittays

On 4 May 2013 this Twitter account was found to have been suspended.

46.36

104.73

@tipsy_in - Ritu Mohanty ‏

44.7

44.8

44.12

@TitansHomer - J Martinez ‏

38.16

‏@tittyshakes - Malted Titty Shakes

46.35

@TJBound - Thelma E. Quintero

117.141

@tjinscot - Tanya Johnston

6.15

107.81

117.200

@tkrieg - Todd Krieger

16.19

83.74

@Tmgneff - Thomas Gibbons-Neff ‏

98.42

98.51

@tnr - The New Republic

33.8

@tnylgn - tony logan

119.19

@toddtauber - Todd Tauber

140.5

@toi_rajJ - raj jha

44.257

@Token_Geezer - Token Geezer ‏

27.55

43.57

44.217

52.1

69.3

71.9

105.49

110.93

112.15

118.16

164.141

165.45

165.159

166.227

166.315

170.41

174.16

174.29

176.44

176.45

@TomDispatch - TomDispatch

150.5

157.23

@tomfriedman - Thomas L. Friedman

129.5

130.59

@TomHanksIsHot - Nicole Betz ‏

16.35

117.77

122.48

165.97

@tomiahonen - Tomi Ahonen

36.1

@TommyKarate - Tommy Karate ‏

On 8 April 2013 this Twitter account was found to have been disabled.

81.16

112.275

119.39

123.69

166.197

168.10

@TommyyGun - TommyTheBarbarian ‏

118.52

@TOMolefe - TO Molefe ‏

128.110

@tomricks1 - tom ricks

117.192

@tomscott - Tom Scott

35.5

@Tonejonzz - Togna Bologna ‏

111.138

166.167

166.230

@tonydokoupil - Tony Dokoupil

166.385

166.386

@tonyidigmusic - Gerardo Tony Mena ‏

98.11

98.18

@tonyschwartz - tonyschwartz

140.67

@tonytongbram - Anthony ‏

44.20

@toomuchnick - Nick Douglas

124.92

180.1

@tophersteel - Chris Steel

62.33

@toriTBC - Tori

Includes: ‏@TBCpierce - Tori

38.35

38.58

53.4

53.37

113.51

113.53

124.76

134.98

170.87

@ToThePoint_KCRW - To The Point

186.84

@tottinge - Tim Ottinger ‏

141.67

@ToxicProbably - Toxic Probably ‏

56.27

@Toy_A - Toya

No Twitter account found with this ID on 21 July 2013.

100.77

130.33

‏@tracend - Makis Tracend

33.1

@traciAWESOME - Fresno Arbios

48.6

@tracy_marq - Tracy Marquez‏

113.94

113.97

113.102

163.77

@TrainedHedonist - Porn Snob; Brian Soto

86.91

101.58

112.90

@TravLeBlanc - Travis LeBlanc ‏

23.19

56.1

@trelvix - Trelvix

86.101

@trevortimm - Trevor Timm ‏

153.10

153.13

‏@trevso_electric - Trevor S

35.10

104.58

@treyka - Trey Darley

74.31

117.3

141.16

@trialfemme - ThereIsNoJustice

27.12

104.77

128.74

@TriemTeam - TriemTeam ‏

Includes: @DreamTriem

10.37

133.101

Tristan

Unidentifiable except as a screen name on UrbanDictionary.com

166.3

@Tristanstoes - ♥

110.67

@TristramPerry - Тристрам ‏

27.59

@TrolleyCat - Erika

72.106

@TrueTorontoGirl - Calamity ClemRocks; Calamity ClamRocks

73.75

100.69

100.93

101.53

111.126

112.81

116.31

123.62

164.91

164.133

@trumpetcake - Ted Travelstead ‏

72.72

@truthout - Truthout

156.19

@tryped - Colin ‏

48.24

@TSchnoebelen - Tyler Schnoebelen

5.13

5.14

136.42

@TurboGrandma - Nikki Walter

112.196

118.111

@TurboHater - Lane Pieschel ‏

118.10

Turtle, Richard

81.49

85.11

187.4

@Tweeetmebad - Tweeetmebad ‏

44.242

@tweetcomedian - Eminence Front ‏

38.9

38.28

45.7

69.50

69.84

86.31

100.13

163.123

172.5

@tweetingsourav - tweetingsourav

Includes: @p_adic_Saurav - saurav chatterjee

112.191

@twit2g2 - gtoos

69.72

@TwittGossipper - Twitt Gossiper

16.10

16.11

@TwittsMcGee - +Kristi

112.167

@two1ohhbabydoll - Annnjeeezy ‏

The fourth character in @two1ohhbabydoll is the number one.

166.296

@Twylo - Seth Morabito ‏

186.59

@Ty_Schutz - Ty

21.15

53.41

72.64

100.19

100.114

101.66

103.42

104.52

Tye, John Napier

Author of: "Meet Executive Order 12333: The Reagan rule that lets the NSA spy on Americans," Washington Post, opinion section, 18 July 2014,  http://m.washingtonpost.com/opinions/meet-executive-order-12333-the-reagan-rule-that-lets-the-nsa-spy-on-americans/2014/07/18/93d2ac22-0b93-11e4-b8e5-d0de80767fc2_story.html

157.30

@TylerComeOn - Tyceratops

Includes: ‏@Nurse_McDrinky - Doctor's Pleasure

42.21

42.22

166.172

@tyrhondasaurus - rex

122.42

@UberFacts - UberFacts ‏

86.96

118.120

118.122

163.126

163.127

@Uberschizo - Uberschizo

103.13

‏@Udashen - Ben Udashen

120.4

@UGotMeRight - LJ‏

9.32

@UGpk - Usman Ghani

113.48

‏@UluwatuSiap - Sebastion

44.165

46.33

122.24

@umairh - umair haque ‏

125.32

127.4

178.10

@umairjav - Umair Javed

130.4

‏@UnaDispatch - Una Moore

128.49

135.2

135.3

135.4

135.5

135.6

135.7

135.8

135.10

135.11

135.12

135.13

135.14

135.15

135.16

135.17

135.19

135.20

135.21

135.22

135.21

135.23

135.24

135.25

135.27

135.28

135.29

135.32

@UncleDynamite - Uncle Dynamite ‏

27.64

124.51

@unclfestr - Fester ‏

40.31

@UnconnectedDots - A Big Goofy Nerd

42.30

@UnFitz - FScottUnFitzgerald ‏

124.91

@uniglittertits - Unicorn Glitter Tits ‏

48.10

169.45

172.39

@UniqueVisitor - Jeff Pester

112.169

University of Virginia Women's Center

103.76

@unstatusfactory - Unstatusfactory ‏

176.159

@UNTRESOR - Brandon Guttermouth; TheBrandonBee ‏

72.109

86.77

@urbandictionary - Urban Dictionary

44.267

166.4

@urbanprojectz - Adam

90.8

@UroojZia - Urooj Zia-Ahmed; Urooj Zia ‏

44.100

44.179

103.2

128.41

138.4

140.63

144.12

144.14

144.15

144.16

144.17

144.19

144.21

@USAJOBS - USAJOBS ‏

133.71

@UsamaKhilji - Usama Khilji ‏

112.221

@USATODAY - USA TODAY

130.76

‏@usmansheikh - Usman Sheikh

133.81

133.90

141.19

@uwbotanicgarden - UW Botanic Gardens

186.77

‏@VaChina1 - Va China

101.19

‏@VagiNarcissist - VagiNarcissist

6.34

@vagstar - Tricia's Vagina

136.101

‏@valentinebaby82 - Simone

111.142

@vambenepe - William Vambenepe ‏

33.6

54.20

165.147

@VampiliciousXo - Ashley † ‏

55.17

@VanditaSawhney - Vandita Sawhney ‏

44.251

‏@VanVeenB - Brian

176.10

‏@vbadal - Vikas Badal

117.10

@veggiefemme - veggie femme

167.1

@VerbTheNounName - Verb the Noun ‏

107.86

‏@verge - The Verge

145.1

‏@VerifiedBakchod - Verified Bakchod

164.32

@VerifiedDrunk - Verifried Drunk

Includes: @clarke692

40.12

100.57

107.20

107.34

112.284

113.111

163.121

‏@VerifiedJayy - Just Jayyyyyyy

166.338

‏@Verlieren - Sputnik Sweetheart

9.33

16.21

29.5

42.24

53.32

58.1

64.13

100.68

100.74

100.95

100.125

101.57

102.19

103.35

108.23

109.7

109.60

110.40

110.57

110.97

110.108

111.27

111.67

115.4

117.66

117.139

124.78

125.52

128.27

130.39

130.40

130.42

130.45

134.74

136.135

139.25

163.44

164.79

165.121

166.29

166.73

166.335

166.364

169.60

176.16

@verybadrat - Anthea T.

Includes: @versuspie - Anthea Pie; @bonevault \- Anthea T.

47.1

47.2

164.193

@VeryShortStory - Very Short Story ‏

24.1

24.2

24.3

24.4

74.35

76.7

86.13

86.93

86.107

92.1

107.92

116.14

@VesselDoc - Major Art Terry, MD

No Twitter account with this ID found on 30 June 2013.

75.79

@VestaTot - Vesta Tot ‏

117.114

‏@VickyGillies - Vicky Gillies

177.4

@victoryatsea - Timothy Rysdyke

103.61

@Vidyut - Vidyut

100.58

128.67

164.18

@VijayP1982 - Vijay ‏

86.38

‏@vinceness - Vince Eckert

82.7

@vindugoel - Vindu Goel

168.14

@virsanghvi - vir sanghvi

113.120

165.1

165.3

@vivalacrap - Havana Hilary

96.3

100.81

@VivaVeronica122 - Veronica

110.100

@Vivienneclore - Vivienne Clore

117.72

@vladchoc - vladchoc ‏

112.87

@vmarinelli - Victoria Marinelli

74.33

133.22

@VodkaMary - Jane Sow ‏

118.15

@vodkya - Sam Regrets That She

165.28

@voguemagazine - Vogue Magazine

111.151

@VoiceOfReason25 - VoiceOfReason ‏

71.3

108.12

‏@VoilaTyle - VoilaTyle

43.75

@volkswagenindia - Volkswagen India ‏

54.14

@vranjes_dan - Dan V. ‏

98.29

@vyfdewiel - Albertus ‏

116.12

163.51

163.151

176.133

‏@waitinthevan - Kristine

107.30

111.72

@warpedinxs - A.J. ‏

130.36

164.13

‏@warsan_shire - warsan shire

164.95

164.96

Waseem, M.

62.38

@WashAuthor - James Bamford

162.15

162.16

@washingtonpost - Washington Post

83.18

83.79

98.80

111.41

146.12

157.35

157.36

157.37

157.42

‏@wastingpaper - rachael

112.160

169.57

@Watchmyass - Hannah

No Twitter account with this ID found on 26 August 2013.

117.176

@waxsanskritic - Luther ‏

130.22

130.24

130.96 - indexed out of sequence

@wblau - Wolfgang Blau ‏

160.9

@weareourdesires - levinandkitteh ‏

On 24 October 2012 this Twitter account was found to have disappeared.

42.37

44.220

44.271

44.272

53.9

113.122

117.89

117.203

125.55

@WeatherWillett - Derek

Includes: @solorca - Derek

117.140

‏@weddady - weddady

161.30

161.31

@weinerdog4life - Snorklhuahua ‏

129.19

‏@WeissBrandon - Spittin Taint Paint

108.11

‏@WeldPond - Chris Wysopal

136.76

151.6

@WendyLiebman - Wendy Liebman

104.19

@westcape - glenn jeffery ‏

157.11

‏@WetzelGeek - Jeremy Wetzel

116.43

Weuve, Chris

His website Kentaurus.com on 12 June 2013 described him as a naval analyst, history fanatic, wargame designer, Macintosh zealot, book evangelist, and science fiction geek.

80.8

‏@Whateverfitsme - No idea

166.193

@Whatleydude - James Whatley ‏

44.231

@WhatTheFFacts - What The F Facts

163.83

@wheatnik - wheatnik

9.20

26.1

43.69

69.104

71.33

75.66

108.29

134.30

@whiskey_norocks - GINGER...SAUCED ‏

44.264

@WhiskeyandMeds - Make it a Double‏

123.13

‏@WhiteMale - Joseph P. Larkin

4.50

White, Valerie

Co-author of: First Impressions: What You Don't Know About How Others See You, by Ann Demarais Ph.D. and Valerie White Ph.D. Bantam paperback, 2005.

111.115

@WhitneyCummings - Whitney Cummings

100.121

109.8

@whitneymuseum - Whitney Museum

65.3

@WhoCuppedMyCake - Nads Cocker Spar; Debbie Harry Cooter

75.23

112.56

112.153

130.19

172.29

@Whoopdeedoo22 - Danielle ‏

27.25

Whybrow, Peter

Director of the Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior at UCLA.

166.390

@wikihype - товарищ Puppet ‏

146.6

@wikileaks - WikiLeaks

145.14

149.2

151.1

151.2

@Wikipedia - Wikipedia

27.79

30.49

63.25

102.45

107.9

127.5

130.23

@WilliamAder - Just Bill; William Ader

6.38

6.45

6.55

46.38

63.6

69.67

75.8

81.15

112.71

112.89

112.166

112.168

118.139

123.105

165.83

165.109

176.144

180.12

@WilliamShatner - William Shatner ‏

80.14

@williamtracy - Will Tracy

4.79

Willour, Margaret

112.280

@WillWiles - Will Wiles ‏

80.12

80.13

149.4

@windsheep_ - Marius (wishi) ‏

154.13

@WIRED - WIRED

162.19

162.20

@wiretapped - Leif Ryge ‏

154.1

@WisdomBooth - Jonesy

No Twitter account found with this ID on 21 July 2013.

101.3

104.88

112.162

118.129

‏@WiseguySix - Daniel

98.17

Wishing, Christopher

187.9

@WistfulBlue - Wistful Blue; Wistful Blue Twysta

27.22

103.29

166.77

166.175

169.58

@WolfbaneMahler - Doc Wolfbane ‏

No Twitter account with this ID found on 23 May 2013.

70.18

136.11

@WomenOfHistory - Women Of History

102.6

Woodward, Bob

83.78

@WorkforceVan - Van Ton-Quinlivan

130.60

‏@writerPT - Ann

164.81

164.108

176.103

@wsaqaf - Wsaqaf

161.2

161.27

@WSJ - The Wall Street Journal

74.51

109.5

130.54

136.115

137.47

145.30

156.3

@WTFuckFacts - What The Fuck Facts

101.46

117.168

125.102

138.6

@Wussawilla - Teewee; tangy ‏

68.3

117.149

128.75

136.12

139.30

166.366

@Xalqee - X Alqee ‏

113.86

@xeyednpainless - Gangbang Excalibur; Jackass Tozer

164.72

164.73

@xGingerAvenger - Ginger Tweets ‏

10.5

@XGreenTeam - GreenTeam ‏

78.15

176.197

‏@xharrysmascotte - crazy mofo.

23.28

@xMalakMansourx - Malak Mansour

4.32

30.67

44.180

45.16

111.149

117.32

165.143

166.406

169.38

169.39

169.40

170.82

176.195

@XoMiSsYoX - ɱissy ‏

38.1

139.24

@xor - Parker Higgins

150.2

@xunglam - Xung Lam ‏

4.49

124.102

134.43

166.24

@Xytrex - Jamie; Jamie Sloan

6.8

122.51

165.41

@yaacovc - Yaacov Cohen

9.39

136.60

‏@yadyxx13 - Sweet Potato

4.14

@YahooAnswers - Yahoo Answers

102.12

@Yarotica - UU‏

111.62

@YasirBucha - Yasir Bucha

141.52

@YasminMogahed - Yasmin

164.144

@yayyyates - rebecca yates coley

57.30

@YeahImAshley - Ashley

32.15

72.43

75.7

100.91

@YearOfRat - Ratty Miller ‏

112.113

@YesitsAl - Yes It's Al ‏

136.156

136.159

@YesThatAmy

4.22

110.52

118.156

168.11

175.1

‏@YgamblingSucks - Y Gambling Sucks

124.105

@Yidago - Mr. Havercamp

No Twitter account with this ID found on 24 August 2013.

117.36

@yielding_light - Andrew ‏

59.2

@YokoOno - Yoko Ono

59.19

65.2

65.4

65.5

66.4

@Yolan76 - Yolanda Joubert ‏

No Twitter account with this ID found on 3 August 2013.

111.85

@YourEvilTwin - [bryan] ‏

He added the [brackets] himself.

43.51

@YourTLD - dotYou ‏

54.10

‏@YousafzaiMalala - Malala Yousafzai

Impersonating account.

11.1

11.3

11.4

@yowhatsthehaps - Sarah

104.53

‏@yoyoha - Josh Hara

10.15

10.17

61.2

72.26

72.54

72.90

74.24

74.61

90.14

100.20

101.31

104.16

112.148

119.63

123.96

138.2

140.58

163.100

170.46

176.79

‏@ysengrim - GENKI SLUGGER

57.3

134.93

166.324

‏@YUCKYBOT - Craig S.; Prime Directive; The False Prophet

38.25

73.9

73.50

76.43

110.62

112.74

119.43

119.58

134.23

136.94

163.133

165.73

@YUNGLIKEAHORSE - INTOLERANT JOKE POPE ‏

69.114

73.64

81.11

86.74

172.7

@yzupp - sara

46.48

100.62

107.72

136.58

‏164.40

zacislost

186.79 for post #963547524 on CurseBird.com.

@ZackFart - Zack Failey ‏

38.53

@zaighamkhan - zaigham Khan

128.81

@Zale72 - Ramon Menjon

44.269

@ZaraPeeru - Zara Peerzada ‏

4.64

@zarfeblong - Andrew Plotkin

117.202

@zarkoh - Zarko Hristovski

140.9

@ZarrarKhuhro - Zarrar Khuhro ‏

44.204

‏@zegawky - Pedo Elephant

100.104

138.12

@Zeitguide - ZEITGUIDE

130.73

@zepadeedoodah - Steve Mazepa

163.116

@zephoria - danah boyd

37.13

@ZerlinaMaxwell - Zerlina Maxwell ‏

15.11

@zeronomics - zerønomics ‏

9.11

Zhu, Rui (Juliet)

Published in the Journal of Consumer Research.

140.80

@Zia68 - Ziaur Rahman

45.5

@zigzackly - Peter Griffin

165.6

@Zoeytrope - Zoey P.

30.72

44.21

44.62

72.38

125.49

@Zombieionism - Zombie Gordo_Laughs; Zomb E. Coyote

128.15

‏@zombot - Undead Cyborg; ☣Undead☠Cyborg☢ ‏

4.10

178.54

@ZooeyDeschanel - zooey deschanel

111.150

‏@zooko - zooko

145.4

145.5

@zseward - Zachary M. Seward; Zach Seward

3.3

42.6

160.13

@zuhl - Jon Deal

48.28

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  186. Bibliography

Some source material is not indexed with citation numbers that match the sections where the material appears in the main body of the text. Out-of-sequence numbers mostly refer to late arrivals and some conversation citations. Latecomers are listed at the end of this bibliography.

Abdullah, Asma, editor, _understanding the Malaysian Workforce – Guidelines for Managers_ , Institut Pengurusan Malaysia / Malaysian Institute of Management, Kuala Lumpur, 1992.

Abrams, Lindsay, @readingirl, "Study: How Reading Cosmo Affects Perceptions of Sex," _The Atlantic_ , @TheAtlantic, 5 September 2012,  http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2012/09/study-how-reading-cosmo-affects-perceptions-of-sex/261955/

Abrams, M.H. (Meyer Howard), and Harpham, Geoffrey Galt, _A Glossary of Literary Terms_ , Wadsworth Cengage Learning, ninth edition, 2009, page 165.

Ackerman, Spencer, @attackerman, and Ball, James, @jamesrbuk, "Yahoo webcam images from millions of users intercepted by GCHQ," _The Guardian_ , theguardian.com, @guardian, 27 February 2014,  http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/feb/27/gchq-nsa-webcam-images-internet-yahoo

AFL-CIO @AFLCIO, "'Right to Work' for Less," _AFL-CIO_ , as retrieved on 10 October 2013,  http://www.aflcio.org/Legislation-and-Politics/State-Legislative-Battles/Ongoing-State-Legislative-Attacks/Right-to-Work-for-Less

African Union, "Extraordinary Session of the Assembly of the African Union, Addis Ababa, Ethiopia," _African Union_ , October 2013,  http://www.au.int/en/content/extraordinary-session-assembly-african-union

Agence France-Presse @AFP, "Two police officers, one polio worker shot dead in separate incidents," _The Express Tribune_ , @etribune, 13 December 2013,  http://tribune.com.pk/story/644967/unidentified-men-kill-two-police-officers-in-swabi/

Ahonen, Tome, @tomiahonen, "Time to Confirm some Mobile User Numbers: SMS, MMS, Mobile Internet, M-News," 13 January 2011 on Tome Ahonen's blog:  http://communities-dominate.blogs.com/brands/2011/01/time-to-confirm-some-mobile-user-numbers-sms-mms-mobile-internet-m-news.html

Alam, Tanweer, @AlamTanweer, "Top myths about Muslims," _Times of India_ , @timesofindia, 21 March 2014,  http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/home/opinion/edit-page/Top-myths-about-Muslims/articleshow/32375368.cms

Ali, Zaid and King, Laura, @LauraKingLAT, "U.S. drone strike on Yemen wedding party kills 17," _Los Angeles Times_ , @latimes, Wednesday, 13 December 2013,  http://www.latimes.com/world/worldnow/la-fg-wn-yemen-drone-strike-wedding-20131213,0,4137970.story

Allen, Kevin, @kevin__allen, "How Language Shapes Your Organization," _HBR Blog Network_ of the _Harvard Biz Review_ , @HarvardBiz, 24 July 2012,  http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2012/07/how_language_shapes_your_organization.html

Altman, Robert, director, _Nashville_ , 1975. The movie stars David Arkin, Barbara Baxley, Ned Beatty, Karen Black, Ronee Blakley, Keith Carradine, Geraldine Chaplin, Robert DoQui, Shelley Duvall, Allen Garfield, Henry Gibson, Scott Glenn, Jeff Goldblum, Barbara Harris, David Hayward, Michael Murphy, Allan F. Nicholls, Cristina Raines, Bert Remsen, Lily Tomlin, Gwen Welles, and Keenan Wynn.

Altucher, James, @jaltucher, "10 Reasons Why You Have to Quit Your Job This Year," _The Altucher Confidential – Ideas for a World Out of Balance_ , January 2013,  http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2013/01/10-reasons-why-you-have-to-quit-your-job-this-year/

Amabile, Teresa, @TeresaAmabile, and Kramer, Steven, "How leaders kill meaning at work - Senior executives routinely undermine creativity, productivity, and commitment by damaging the inner work lives of their employees in four avoidable ways" _McKinsey Quarterly_ , @McKQuarterly, January 2012,  http://www.mckinsey.com/insights/leading_in_the_21st_century/how_leaders_kill_meaning_at_work

American Association of University Professors (AAUP), _The Status of Non-Tenure-Track Faculty_ , no date, as retrieved 20 August 2015,  http://www.aaup.org/report/status-non-tenure-track-faculty Data originated from this chart:  http://www.aaup.org/sites/default/files/Faculty_Trends_0.pdf

American Dialect Society, The, ""Hashtag" is the 2012 Word of the Year," announced on 4 January 2013, http://www.americandialect.org/hashtag-2012

ANI, @ANI_news, "Beer guzzlers likelier to have sex on first date," _Mid Day Infomedia_ , @mid_day, Mumbai, 25 June 2012,  http://www.mid-day.com/relationships/2012/jun/250612-Beer-guzzlers-likelier-to-have-sex-on-first-date.htm \- Reports on research conducted by Christian Rudder @christianrudder.

Anonymous 4chan participant, interviewed in Seattle on 27 February 2014 and 3 March 2014. Follow up conversation in Seattle on 18 September 2014.

Anonymous gallery guide, Capitol Hill, Seattle, 5 January 2014. He is quoted for: "I like that. Then it's all for me." From a late-night conversation outside a public restroom. He worked at a gallery specializing in work by African American artists.

Anonymous sculptor, informal conversation about the meaning of life, Capitol Hill, Seattle, Friday night, 13 February 2015.

Antoniades, Andri, @andritweets, "What Barbie Would Look Like If She Resembled an Actual Woman (PHOTOS) Artist Nickolay Lamm re-creates an American icon using real-world measurements," _TakePart.com_ , @TakePart, 4 July 2013,  http://www.takepart.com/article/2013/07/03/barbie-nickolay-lamm

Aristotle, _Aristotle on Rhetoric: A Theory of Civil Discourse_ , translated by George A. Kennedy, Oxford University Press, USA, second edition, 2006.

Arrington, Michael, @arrington, "Hand Shaking Is So Medieval. Let's End It," _TechCrunch_ , @TechCrunch, 9 May 2009,  http://techcrunch.com/2009/05/09/hand-shaking-is-so-medieval-lets-end-it/

Associated Press, _The Associated Press Stylebook and Briefing on Media Law 2011_ , New York, Basic Books, 46th edition, 2011. The @APStylebook is a small encyclopedia and primer on finance, law, geo-politics and the media. The Associated Press publishes a new spiral-bound edition of the stylebook every spring. It can be read cover-to-cover.

Screen name, ID, bio and stats on Twitter on 3 January 2013: AP Stylebook @APStylebook - The essential style guide for journalists. Ask the Editor remains the best place to take specific style questions: bit.ly/14CdnW Location: Print, Web, Mobile · http://www.apstylebook.com/ - 3,271 tweets. 30,577 following. 127,506 followers.

Bakkila, Sam, @sbakkila, "Why You Should Never Have Taken That Prestigious Internship," _PolicyMic_ , @PolicyMic, 14 June 2013,  http://www.policymic.com/articles/48829/why-you-should-never-have-taken-that-prestigious-internship

Bamford, James, @WashAuthor, "The most wanted man in the world," _Wired_ , @WIRED, 13 August 2014, http://www.wired.com/2014/08/edward-snowden/

Bartlett, Rober, presenter, _The Normans_ (series) - 2. Conquest (episode), BBC, first shown: 11 August 2010, retrieved 1 April 2015. http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00tfdsk/the-normans-2-conquest Blurb: "Documentary series. Robert Bartlett explores the impact of the Norman conquest of Britain and Ireland, and looks at how England adapted to its new masters." Credits for this episode: Robert Bartlett, presenter; Fatima Salaria, producer and director; Robin Dashwood, producer; Chris Granlund, executive producer.

Beer, George Louis, _The English-speaking peoples, their future relations and joint international obligations_ , The Macmillan Company, 1917, page 186. As retrieved on 2 February 2015 from Archive.org, which then incorrectly listed the publication date as 1918:  https://archive.org/details/englishspeakingp00beeruoft

Bennett-Jones, Owen, "Pakistan's MQM 'received Indian funding'" _BBC News_ , 24 June 2015, http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-33148880

Bensinger, Greg, @GregBensinger, "Talking Less, Paying More for Voice," _The Wall Street Journal_ , @WSJ, 5 June 2012,  http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304065704577426760861602618.html

Berlin, Bluma, ‏@blumaberlin, "YOU ARE FREE," poster art, pic.twitter.com/ZyT3LBLhGA - 25 August 2013,  https://twitter.com/blumaberlin/status/371711386990018560 Points to:  https://twitter.com/blumaberlin/status/414572299077947393/photo/1/large

Berlin, Bluma, ‏@blumaberlin, "YOU ARE FREE, MS MERKEL," poster art, pic.twitter.com/QGJK2Mi7G2 - 24 October 2013,  https://twitter.com/blumaberlin/status/393279969322758144/photo/1 Points to:  https://twitter.com/blumaberlin/status/393279969322758144/photo/1/large

Bernstein, Elizabeth, @EBernsteinWSJ, "The Marriage Problem That Comes Every Four Years," _The Wall Street Journal_ , @WSJ, 4 September 2012,  http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10000872396390444914904577623521882459012.html

Biff comic book, inaccessible but not lost. No bibliographic record found. It is unclear whether it is associated with the American Biff comic books that are still in print. They share a similar format of a single graphic panel or register per page. The Biff quotes here are from memory and are approximations. Biff [^186.1] is the source of: "A lost sock in the laundromat of oblivion," in the Twitter bio of @aem76us beginning on 13 April 2011.

Bigelow, Kathryn, director, _Zero Dark Thirty_ , movie produced by Kathryn Bigelow, Mark Boal and Megan Ellison. Written by Mark Boal. Released by Columbia Pictures in the US, Alliance Films in Canada, Icon Productions in Australia, GAGA in Japan, and by Universal Pictures elsewhere outside North America. Released on 19 December 2012.

Birdwell, Aubrey, conversations on the street in Capitol Hill, Seattle. In a conversation on Saturday night, 12 May 2012 [^186.2], he asked, "Can the children of today use technology from the 80s?" Imitating a confused person trying to push physical buttons on a mechanical device, he added, "Watch a child trying to use a tape deck." The conversation about apes occurred on 1 February 2012 [^186.3]. A supplemental conversation occurred on 8 September 2012 [^186.4]. The conversation about rural Lithuanian language occurred on 7 March 2013 [^186.5]. The _I versus me_ conversation took place on 6 May 2013 [^186.6]. The conversation about search engines suggesting search terms took place on 26 June 2013 [^186.7].

Black Coffee @BlackCoffeeCoop, _the black coffee community book_ , volume 1, anonymous handwritten entry viewed on 9 December 2013. Volume 1 began receiving entries in the beginning of November 2012 when the worker-owned cooperative opened. The first volume was filled up by the end of February 2013. The books are small black volumes of unlined blank paper. Anyone could write or draw in the books. The bound pages had been pulled from this volume's covers by 9 December 2013. On that date there were also two loose pages of drawings stuffed in between the bound pages. Black Coffee @BlackCoffeeCoop - Twitter bio and stats on 9 December 2013: Black Coffee is a workers' co-op, café, community space & infoshop in the Capitol Hill neighborhood of Seattle. Location: Seattle · blackcoffeecoop.com. 474 tweets. 356 following. 376 followers. Black Coffee closed its Capitol Hill storefront on 24 October 2014.

Black Coffee @BlackCoffeeCoop, _the black coffee community book_ , volume 10, anonymous handwritten entry viewed on 26 November 2013, written within the previous three months. See the entry above for background information.

Blair, David, @davidblairdt, "I'm not shocked that the US was tapping Angela Merkel's phone. I suspect she isn't, either," _The Telegraph_ , @Telegraph, 27 October 2013,  http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/davidblair/100243073/im-not-shocked-that-the-us-was-tapping-angela-merkels-phone-i-suspect-she-isnt-either/

Blume, Harvey, "Q&A: Jonathan Lethem," _The Boston Globe_ , @BostonGlobe, 4 March 2007,  http://www.boston.com/news/globe/ideas/articles/2007/03/04/qa_jonathan_lethem/ Jonathan Lethem's Twitter ID: @jonathanlethem. No Twitter ID found for Harvey Blume.

Boies, David, @TheDavidBoies, "How to Negotiate: David Boies," by David Boies, _Business Week_ , @BW, 12 April 2012,  http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2012-04-12/how-to-negotiate-david-boies The quotes in the article were told to Devin Leonard @devinleonard.

Bowles, Randy, interview during a break in his 18th show at Black Coffee Coop on 7 June 2014, Capitol Hill, Seattle. Randy Bowles reviewed his quotes on 12 July 2014 at his 19th concert at @BlackCoffeeCoop and emailed a correction on the following day.

Boyd, Stowe, @stoweboyd, and Di Cairano, Teresa, @TeresaDiCairano, "Four Traps That Suck Meaning Out Of Work," _Innovation Cultures_ , 29 February 2012,  http://innovationcultures.tumblr.com/post/18517788267/four-traps-that-suck-meaning-out-of-work

Bradt, George, @georgebradt, "Top Executive Recruiters Agree There Are Only Three True Job Interview Questions," _Forbes Magazine_ , @Forbes, 27 April 2011,  http://www.forbes.com/sites/georgebradt/2011/04/27/top-executive-recruiters-agree-there-are-only-three-key-job-interview-questions/

Bragg, Melvyn, series editor, and Walker, Christopher, producer and director, "2. Rights of Man: Thomas Paine," _Melvyn Bragg's Radical Lives_ video series, first shown on BBC 2 on 9 August 2014. As viewed on 11 August 2014.  http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b04dvjpt/melvyn-braggs-radical-lives-2-rights-of-man-thomas-paine Program website: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b04d88r3 Blurb for this second show in the series: "Melvyn Bragg tells the story of the English radical political writer, Thomas Paine, author of three of the bestselling political essays of all time."

Braverman, Samantha, Sr. Project Researcher, Harris Interactive, "One in Five U.S. Adults Now Has a Tattoo - Yet over two in five without a tattoo say adults with tattoos are less attractive," _The Harris Poll ® #22_ , Harris Interactive, 23 February 2012,  http://www.harrisinteractive.com/NewsRoom/HarrisPolls/tabid/447/mid/1508/articleId/970/ctl/ReadCustom%20Default/Default.aspx

Bregman, Peter, @peterbregman, "If You're Too Busy to Meditate, Read This," _HBR Blog Network_ of the _Harvard Biz Review_ , @HarvardBiz, 12 October 2012,  http://blogs.hbr.org/2012/10/if-youre-too-busy-to-meditate/

Brooks, Max, _World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War_ , Crown Publishing Group, 12 September 2006. World War Z (WWZ) is a collection of short stories that builds on Brooks' earlier work: _The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead_ , Broadway Books, 16 September 2003. A film by the same name and based on the book premiered in London on 2 June 2013, starring Brad Pitt.

Brown, Bob, "9 "university researcher approved" tips for awesome Tweeting - Carnegie Mellon, MIT, Georgia Tech researchers lend their Twitter expertise," _Network World_ @NetworkWorld, 1 February 2012,  https://www.networkworld.com/news/2012/020112-tips-tweeting-255577.html

Brunskill, Jonathan, "What do you do with a Bachelor of Arts?" _London Student_ , @LondonStudent, 31 October 2013,  http://london-student.net/comment/10/31/bachelor-arts/

Burke, Crispin J., ‏@CrispinBurke, "An Open Response to 'Why the U.S. Military Needs More Leaders with Technical Educations,'" _Wings Over Iraq_ , 21 January 2013, http://wingsoveriraq.com/2013/01/21/testing123/

Burke, Crispin J., ‏@CrispinBurke ^186.8] "Sun-Tzu, Clausewitz, Thucydides: It's only a lot of reading if you do it," _Medium_ , @Medium [^186.9] 13 February 2014, [ https://medium.com/@CrispinBurke/sun-tzu-clausewitz-thucydides-its-only-a-lot-of-reading-if-you-do-it-995415d64394

Burkeman, Oliver, @oliverburkeman, "This column will change your life: Make a book of your own," _The Guardian_ , theguardian.com, @guardian, 28 May 2010,  http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/may/29/change-your-life-information-storage Burkeman quotes Steven Johnson @stevenbjohnson from a lecture that Johnson delivered at Columbia University.

_Business Insider_ article on brainstorming. Citation lost. March 2012.

California Supreme Court decision in the case of Comedy III Productions v. Gary Saderup, Inc., 21 P. 3d 797, as found on 2 June 2013 on:  http://scholar.google.com/scholar_case?case=6376074772628774470&hl=en&as_sdt=2&as_vis=1&oi=scholarr

Carder, Justin, @jseattle, "Grrl Army strikes shuttered Capitol Hill Market," _CHS Capitol Hill Seattle_ , 20 September 2012,  http://www.capitolhillseattle.com/2012/09/20/chs-pics-grrl-army-strikes-shuttered-capitol-hill-market

Cargiuolo, Seth, @carge77, "Tweeting A 140 Character Resume is Like Crashing A Party (And Not In A Good Way)," _carge77.com_ , 17 April 2013,

 http://www.carge77.com/2013/04/17/the-new-resume-is-not-140-characters/

Carlat, Larry, @evrythingmustgo, "Confessions of a Tweeter," _The New York Times_ , @nytimes, 'Lives' section, 11 November 2011,  https://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/13/magazine/confessions-of-a-tweeter.html

Carpenter, John, _They Live_ , released in the US on 4 November 1988. The movie is about aliens that take over Earth. Disguised as humans, the aliens intermingle and intermarry with humans. The aliens can be recognized by wearing special sunglasses.

Carr, Nicholas, @roughtype, _The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains_ , W. W. Norton & Company, paperback, 6 June 2011. The website for the book: http://www.theshallowsbook.com. Nicholas Carr blogs at: http://www.roughtype.com His personal website: http://www.nicholasgcarr.com The book is the subject of this video: "What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains Epipheo.TV]," animation by Greg Walter @2TallGreg, _Epipheo_ , @epipheo, 6 May 2013, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKaWJ72x1rI

Case, Amber, @caseorganic, _An illustrated dictionary of cyborg anthropology_ , Kindle edition, 24 January 2014, http://cyborganthropology.com/store/ Two pages were accessed on 6 June 2014 on the website for Amber Case's book. The first page: "What is Cyborg Anthropology?"  http://cargocollective.com/cyborg-anthropology/What-is-Cyborg-Anthropology The second page: "Companion Species,"  http://cargocollective.com/cyborg-anthropology/Companion-Species

Casti, Taylor, @thecoppergirl, "Everything You Need to Know About Twitter," _Mashable_ , @mashable, 20 September 2013, http://mashable.com/2013/09/20/twitter-history/

Cavendish, Georgiana, _The Sylph_ , 1778. Georgiana Cavendish was also known as the Duchess of Devonshire at the time her novel _The Sylph_ was published.

Chaudhuri, Amit, @AmitChaudhuri, "India's power cuts speak of a country that is rich but fails to invest in itself - India needs long-overdue institutional reform and infrastructure investment if its success story is to continue," _The Guardian_ , theguardian.com, @guardian, 30 July 2012,  http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/jul/30/india-power-cuts-rich-fail-invest See also the entry below for: During, Simon. Simon During reviews _Calcutta: Two Years in the City_ , by Amit Chaudhuri, Union Books, 2013.

Chaudhuri, Amit, @AmitChaudhuri, "India's new Hinduism is about order, not wonder - A BJP triumph in the 2014 election will further undermine India's secularism, and its astonishingly rich, creative view of religion," _The Guardian_ , theguardian.com, @guardian, 1 May 2014,  http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/belief/2014/may/02/india-hinduism-bjp-2014-election-religion

Cheema, Hassan, @mediagag, "The ashes of Pakistani cricket," _The Friday Times_ , @TFT_, 11 April 2014,  http://www.thefridaytimes.com/tft/the-ashes-of-pakistani-cricket/

Childs, Arcynta Ali, @arcynta, "Q and A with Miss Manners," _Smithsonian Magazine_ , @SmithsonianMag, July-August 2011. Accessed 24 September 2013,  http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/Q-and-A-with-Miss-Manners.html

Chishti, Seema, "It's Batra again: Book on sexual violence in Ahmedabad riots is 'set aside' by publisher," _The Indian Express_ , New Delhi, 3 June 2014,  http://indianexpress.com/article/india/india-others/its-batra-again-book-on-sexual-violence-in-ahmedabad-riots-is-set-aside-by-publisher/99/

Crichton, Michael, _Jurassic Park_ , Alfred A. Knopf, 1990. This novel was made into a movie with the same name, directed by Steven Spielberg and released in 1993.

Cobain, Kurt; Novoselic, Krist; and Grohl, Dave; authors; "Smells Like Teen Spirit," song on Nirvana's second album, _Nevermind_ , released on 24 September 1991 on DGC Records. Produced by Butch Vig.

Cohen, M.J., and Major, John, in _History in Quotations_ , Cassell (London) 2004, in the chapter "Right and Left in Europe, 1850-1914," in the section "Marx and Engels, 1850-83," page 666, entry #2. The derivation of the name Plantagenet was found in the chapter "The Normans, 1066-1154," in the section "Stephen and Matilda, 1135-54," page 231, entry #1.

Cohen, Richard, "James Bond and the new sex appeal," _Washington Post_ @washingtonpost opinion section, 26 November 2012,  http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/richard-cohen-james-bond-and-the-new-sex-appeal/2012/11/26/098813e6-37f4-11e2-8a97-363b0f9a0ab3_story.html

Cole, Teju, @tejucole, biographical information retrieved on 18 December 2012 from his website: http://www.tejucole.com/about-2/

Cole, Teju, @tejucole, "small fates," on _TejuCole.com_ , March 2012, retrieved on 18 December 2012 from his website: http://www.tejucole.com/small-fates/

Constine, Josh, @JoshConstine, "Facebook Now Lets You "Follow" Someone In Any App, Get Their Updates In News Feed Where The Ads Are," _TechCrunch_ , @TechCrunch, 27 June 2012,  http://techcrunch.com/2012/06/27/facebook-follow-action/

Corbett, Edward P.J., and Connors, Robert J., _Classical Rhetoric for the Modern Student_ , fourth edition, Oxford University Press, USA, 6 August 1998. First published in 1971 by Edward P.J. Corbett. Written at the level of university undergraduate and graduate students.

Corbett, Edward P.J., _The Little Rhetoric and Handbook_ , second edition, Scott, Foresman, 1982. The first edition was published on 1 December 1980. A more recent version was published posthumously with co-author Sheryl L. Finkle: _The Little English Handbook: Choices and Conventions, MLA Update_ , Longman Publishing Group, 4 August 1998. These books are written for students in high schools. The reason the more recent edition was not cited is because it was not reviewed to confirm whether the section "Copying passages of prose" was retained from the 1982 edition. Edward P.J. Corbett died on 24 June 1998 at his home in Columbus, Ohio. He was 78.

Crede, Marcus, and Kuncel, Natah R., "Study Habits, Skills, and Attitudes - The Third Pillar Supporting Collegiate Academic Performance," _Perspectives on Psychological Science_ , a journal published by the Association for Psychological Science, volume 3, number 6, 21 November 2008, figure 14, http://edci6304sp2011.pbworks.com/f/YAN_Project4_article_Sp_2011.pdf The article associated with that URL was no longer available for public viewing on 21 September 2013.

CTVNews.ca Staff, @CTVNews, "'Ageism' widespread in Canada, survey finds," video and accompanying text summary, _CTVNews.ca_ , 2 November 2012,  http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/ageism-widespread-in-canada-survey-finds-1.1021641

Currier, Cora, @coracurrier ^186.10] and Devereaux, Ryan, @rdevro [^186.11], "The Ghost of Ronald Reagan Authorizes Most NSA Spying," _The Intercept_ , @the_intercept [^186.12], 29 September 2014, [ https://firstlook.org/theintercept/2014/09/29/new-documents-confirm-expansive-spying-powers-reagan-era-order/

Dahl, Roald, _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory_ , Alfred A. Knopf, Inc., 1964.

Dalrymple, William, _White Mughals: Love and Betrayal in Eighteenth-Century India_ , HarperCollins, 2002.

Dass, Ram, @BabaRamDass, _Be Here Now_ , Lama Foundation, 1971.

Davenport, Thomas H., and Beck, John C., _The Attention Economy_ , Boston: Harvard Business Review Press, 2001.

Davis, Krystle M., "Under The Thumb Of Cult Leader Sri Chinmoy," _Forbes_ , 14 April 2009,  http://www.forbes.com/2009/04/14/jayanti-tamm-carwheels-sari-opinions-book-reviews-cults-sri-chinmoy.html

Debord, Guy, _Society of the Spectacle_ , Black & Red, Detroit, Michigan, 1983, reprinted 2005. From the inside of the cover page: " _La societé du spectacle_ was first published in 1967 by Editions Buchet-Chastel (Paris); it was reprinted in 1971 by Champ Libre (Paris). The first English translation was published by Black & Red in 1970. It was revised in 1977, incorporating numerous improvements suggested by friends and critics of the first translation. Guy Debord was editor of the journal _Internationale Siutationiste_ from 1958 to 1969. He died in 1994." Siutationiste is intended to be Situationiste above.

de Botton, Alain, @alaindebotton, _How Proust Can Change Your Life_ , Picador, paperback, 1998, page 41.

DeFraia, Daniel, @ddefraia, "Anna Chapman asks Edward Snowden for his hand, via Twitter," _Alaska Dispatch_ , @alaskadispatch, 5 July 2013,  http://www.alaskadispatch.com/article/20130705/anna-chapman-asks-edward-snowden-his-hand-twitter

DeGeorge, Nicholas, interviewed for this book, Capitol Hill, Seattle, 28 [^186.13], 29 [^186.14] and 30 [^186.15] September 2012. DeGeorge was interviewed with Richard Turtle on 3 October 2012 [^186.16]. Turtle is cited separately below.

DeGeorge, Nicholas, "From Tool to Crutch: The Dissociative Danger of Connectivity Technology." Unpublished paper, 2011 [^186.17].

Demarais, Ann, and White, Valerie, _First Impressions: What You Don't Know About How Others See You_ , Bantam paperback, 2005.

Denise in conversation for this book, Capitol Hill, Seattle, 20 May 2013. No last name given.

Der Kosmonaut made substantial contributions to this book during the last stage of its development. These contributions are not numbered as citations where they appear in the main body of the book. They are cited here instead as 186.18–186.35 and 186.85–186.92.

[^186.18] 15 September 2014, Der Kosmonaut was interviewed on Seattle's Capitol Hill about the loss of privacy, when he quoted "The Baroness."

[^186.19] 18 September 2014, on Capitol Hill Der Kosmonaut reviewed and corrected his quotes from 15 September 2014 and provided additional quotes [^186.20].

[^186.21] 23 September 2014, Der Kosmonaut reviewed and corrected his quotes from 15 September 2014 and provided additional quotes [^186.22].

[^186.23] 24 September 2014, Der Kosmonaut provided an additional quote, which he confirmed the following night [^186.24].

[^186.25] 25 September 2014, Der Kosmonaut made this statement, which informed the treatment of the history of English:

"Standard English – nobody talks like that."

[^186.26] 30 September 2014, Der Kosmonaut contributed information on the subject of police militarization.

[^186.27] 1 October 2014, Der Kosmonaut was interviewed about metaphor.

[^186.28] 3 October 2014, Der Kosmonaut was interviewed again about metaphor. His observation from 3 October 2014 about Spanish churches occupying panopticon positions after 1492 is incorporated into TASD without citing him as the source [^186.29]. In his interview on 3 October 2014, Der Kosmonaut contributed two quotes about metaphors and idioms [^186.30 & ^186.31].

[^186.32] In the early hours of 9 October 2014, Der Kosmonaut reviewed, revised and confirmed his quotes about metaphor, then provided additional quotes that night [^186.33], which he reviewed and edited as they were incorporated into the TASD manuscript [^186.34].

[^186.35] 10 October 2014, Der Kosmonaut provided the quote: "Portland – the city where people go to do nothing with their lives."

[^186.85] 22 December 2014 at Bauhaus Coffee & Books on Capitol Hill, Seattle, Der Kosmonaut confirmed that NYC stop-and-frisk operations were recorded as arrests in the criminal records of the individuals subjected to it. On his recent experiences in Los Angeles [^186.86], he said:

"Celebrities are always in the public eye. There's no break from acting for them. They're always in a role." He called Los Angeles, "the capital city of nihilism." "Nihilism is woven into the fabric of LA. It didn't degenerate into nihilism like New York City or Philadelphia."

[^186.87] 21 January 2015, Der Kosmonaut, conversation on Hegel.

[^186.88] 30 January 2015, Der Kosmonaut was interviewed at Caffé Vita, Capitol Hill, Seattle. He provided information on the disadvantages of online courses. This information is paraphrased and cited where it appears. He also provided information on postmodernism and the popularity of French, cited where it appears in a footnote. On the subject of the French language police, he said:

"European French is the most rigid and controlled language in the world, because they're so afraid of English. English is the most liberal language. We have rules of grammar but they're not really enforced."

[^186.89] 6 February 2015, Der Kosmonaut was interviewed at Caffé Vita, Capitol Hill, on the Baconian Heresy. Information that he provided on class issues surrounding the Heresy and about Kurt Vonnegut has been paraphrased and incorporated into a footnote that cites him as the source. On the question of whether Shakespeare wrote all his own material, Der Kosmonaut said:

"The text is the text for Shakespeare, regardless of whether Shakespeare is a pseudonym."

[^186.90] 13 February 2015, Der Kosmonaut reviewed his quotes and paraphrased material added since his previous such review.

[^186.91] 14 February 2015, Der Kosmonaut discussed the history of France from the 1930s onward, including France's withdrawal from active integration into NATO in 1966.

[^186.92] Der Kosmonaut's bibliography does not accompany all his contributions cataloged above. He provided this biography on 13 February 2015:

Der Kosmonaut is a radical social and political critical poet, philosopher and observer as well as a radio journalist, DJ and music producer. He has lived in 7 countries and has traveled to 19 countries in total. He has been published in Austria and Serbia. He is a Slam Poetry champion and the first Black person and first non-native German speaker to ever win a Poetry Slam in Austria. He is published in the anthology of Vienna Austria Poetry Slam champions "Slam B" edited by Diana Koehler in 2012. His political philosophy essays have been published at "The Age of Nepotism" site (www.AgeOfNepotism.org). He publishes his own blog widely read in Central and Eastern Europe "Adventures of Der Kosmonaut" (www.der-kosmonaut.blogspot.com)

Dev, Atul, @errows, "Shining a light on the practice of actual politics - Jonathan Shainin, formerly Senior Editor of The Caravan, tells Atul Dev about his years in India, and his observations on the Indian media, where change might not be as swift as commonly assumed," _The Sunday Guardian_ , @SundayGuardian, 12 October 2013,  http://www.sunday-guardian.com/artbeat/shining-a-light-on-the-practice-of-actual-politics

Diller, Vivian, @drvdiller, "Midlife: What Goes Down Must Come Up," _Huffington Post_ @HuffingtonPost, 17 August 2011,  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vivian-diller-phd/happiness-in-aging_b_926086.html Vivian Diller is the author of: _face it: What Women Really Feel as Their Looks Change_ , Hay House, 2010.

Dixon, Chris, @cdixon ^186.36], "If you aren't getting rejected on a daily basis, your goals aren't ambitious enough," _chris dixon's blog_ , no date – but the URL shows 12 September 2010, [ http://cdixon.org/2010/09/12/if-you-arent-getting-rejected-on-a-daily-basis-your-goals-arent-ambitious-enough/

Dokoupil, Tony, @tonydokoupil, "Is the Web Driving Us Mad?" _Newsweek Magazine_ , @newsweek, 9 July 2012,  http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2012/07/08/is-the-internet-making-us-crazy-what-the-new-research-says.html

Doniger, Wendy, _The Hindus: An Alternate History_ , Penguin Press HC, 19 March 2009. On 10 February 2014, the Saket District Court in Delhi ordered the publisher to recall all unsold copies of the book in Bharat (India) for pulping.

Doniger, Wendy, "India: Censorship by the Batra Brigade," _NY Review of Books_ , @nybooks, 8 May 2014 issue. The article appeared online on 17 April 2014.  http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/2014/may/08/india-censorship-batra-brigade/

Dove, @Dove, _Selfie_ , a short film released on 19 January 2014 as part of Dove's #BeautyIs campaign, http://youtu.be/BFkm1Hg4dTI The film and the study that supported it is the subject of this article: "82% of Women Think Social Media Drives the Definition of Beauty," by Samantha Murphy Kelly, _Mashable_ , 24 January 2014, http://mashable.com/2014/01/24/dove-beauty-study/

Drum, Kevin, @kdrum, "Quote of the Day: Control Over the Internet Is the "Struggle of Our Generation"," _Mother Jones_ , @MotherJones, 25 September 2013,  http://www.motherjones.com/kevin-drum/2013/09/quote-day-greenwald-control-internet-struggle-generation The "Quote of the Day" referenced in the title of the article was made by Glenn Greenwald in an interview with Noam Sheizaf of Haaretz, published as: "Defending the NSA leaks || Glenn Greenwald to Haaretz: Why whistleblower Snowden came to me. How a meeting with a young computer expert in Hong Kong changed the life of a Guardian journalist," by Noam Sheizaf, @nsheizaf, _Haaretz_ , @haaretzcom, 21 September 2013,  http://www.haaretz.com/weekend/magazine/.premium-1.547506 On 31 July 2014 this Haaretz article was found to be behind a paywall.

Dryden, John, _Secret Love, or The Maiden Queen_ , a play first performed by the King's Company at the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, London, 2 March 1667. First published by Henry Herringman in London in 1668.

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During, Simon, @SimonDuring, "Calcutta's Via Negativa," _Public Books_ , @publicbooks, 6 August 2013,  http://www.publicbooks.org/nonfiction/calcuttas-via-negativa In this article, Simon During reviews the book: _Calcutta: Two Years in the City_ , by Amit Chaudhuri, @AmitChaudhuri, Union Books, 2013.

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Eickmann, Robert, @roberte3 – informal conversation, Capitol Hill, Seattle, 11 July 2013.

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Ferdman, Roberto A. @robferdman, "Anti-social \- 68% of CEOs still aren't on any social networks whatsoever," _Quartz_ ‏@qz, 7 August 2013,  http://qz.com/112891/68-of-ceos-still-arent-on-any-social-networks-whatsoever/

Fikse-Verkerk, Matt, @mattfikse, and Kiley, Brendan, @brendankiley, "You Are a Rogue Device - A New Apparatus Capable of Spying on You Has Been Installed Throughout Downtown Seattle. Very Few Citizens Know What It Is, and Officials Don't Want to Talk About It." _The Stranger_ , @strangerslog, 8 November 2013,  http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/you-are-a-rogue-device/Content?oid=18143845

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Flora, Carlin, @carlinf, "The Beguiling Truth About Beauty - Not a knockout? We all focus on our imperfections. But seeing yourself as others do casts you in the best possible light. Turns out that self-knowledge is the most important beauty secret of them all." _Psychology Today_ , @PsychToday, published 1 May 2006, last reviewed on 26 July 2013.  http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201106/the-trouble-beauty/youre-hotter-you-think?page=2

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Forster, E.M., _Commonplace Book_ , edited by Philip Gardner. Stanford University Press, 1985. In 1978, Scolar Press (London) published a manuscript facsimile. The 1985 edition is a typeset version, published in hardback. The 1985 edition is the easier one to read.

Forster, Vicky, "Digital media may stifle social skills," _The Times of London_ , @thetimes, 25 August 2014,  http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/science/article4185774.ece

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Francis [^186.37] interviewed on 16 August 2014. He asked that only his first name be used.

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Freedel, Tess [^62.58, ^186.38, ^186.39, ^186.40], interviewed and quoted on irony and hipsters, on Capitol Hill, Seattle, 7 September 2014. She reviewed her quotes on 9 September 2014, edited two of them and added another [^186.41], while also suggesting an association in the US between watching a lot of television, poverty and the South.

Freedlander, David, @freedlander, "The Skunk at the Oscar Party," _The Daily Beast_ , thedailybeast, 26 February 2014,  http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/02/26/the-skunk-at-the-oscar-party.html

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Gabie, interviewed on irony and hipsters, Capitol Hill, Seattle, 18 June 2013.

Gallagher, James, health editor, "Smoking 'may play schizophrenia role,'" _BBC News_ , 10 July 2015, http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-33464480

Gandhi, Jatin, @jatingandhi, "The Modi Mythology - Manufacturing consent, saffron style," _Open Magazine_ , @Openthemag, India, 18 July 2013,  http://www.openthemagazine.com/article/nation/the-modi-mythology

Gannes, Liz, @lizgannes, "Lavabit Email Founder Goes to Great Lengths to Avoid Email, Post-Snowden," _All Things D_ , @allthingsd, 17 September 2013,

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Ghumman, Khawar, "Raja chairs first cabinet meeting: Govt acts at last to ease power ordeal," _Dawn_ , @dawn_com, 27 June 2012,  http://dawn.com/2012/06/27/raja-chairs-first-cabinet-meeting-govt-acts-at-last-to-ease-power-ordeal/

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Goldberg, Jeffrey, @JeffreyGoldberg, "Old Jewish Men Have Valuable Advice for Miley Cyrus," _Bloomberg View_ , @BloombergView, 17 October 2013,  http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-10-17/old-jewish-men-have-valuable-advice-for-miley-cyrus.html

Gorman, Siobhan, ‏@Gorman_Siobhan, "NSA Officers Spy on Love Interests," _The Wall Street Journal_ , @WSJ, 23 August 2013,  http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2013/08/23/nsa-officers-sometimes-spy-on-love-interests/

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Greenwald, Glenn, @ggreenwald, see also joint entry below for Scahill, Jeremy.

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Grynbaum, Michael M., @grynbaum, "De Blasio Focuses on Inequality as He Courts Business Elite," _The New York Times_ , @nytimes, 4 October 2013,  http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/05/nyregion/with-focus-on-affordability-crisis-de-blasio-offers-his-vision-for-new-york.html

Gulati, Daniel, @DanielGulati, "Our Dangerous Obsession with External Recognition," _HBR Blog Network_ of the _Harvard Biz Review_ , @HarvardBiz, 10 December 2013,  http://blogs.hbr.org/2013/12/our-dangerous-obsession-with-external-recognition/

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Guzmán, Mónica, @moniguzman ^186.80], "Addiction! Staying afloat in the stream - Mónica Guzmán," video of a presentation delivered at _Ignite Seattle_ @ignitesea [^186.81] on 3 August 2009, [ http://igniteseattle.com/2009/11/10/addiction-staying-afloat-in-the-stream-monica-guzman/

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Haden, Jeff, @jeff_haden, "The Only Management Strategy You'll Ever Need." Jeff Haden published this article as part of his series titled "Owners' Manual" in _INC Magazine_ , @Inc, 21 May 2012,  http://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/key-to-leadership-managing-employees.html

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Haglund, David, @dbhaglund, "Did Hemingway Really Write His Famous Six-Word Story?" _browbeat_ , Slate's culture blog, @Slate, 31 January 2013,  http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2013/01/31/for_sale_baby_shoes_never_worn_hemingway_probably_did_not_write_the_famous.html

Hajari, Nisid, "Why Is Pakistan Such a Mess? Blame India." _Foreign Policy_ , 26 May 2015,  http://foreignpolicy.com/2015/05/26/pakistan-india-independence-gandhi/

Hamilton, Ann, _the event of a thread_ , an audience-participatory installation described in: "Ann Hamilton \- the event of a thread," _e-flux_ , @e_flux, undated but likely posted in 2012, http://www.e-flux.com/announcements/ann-hamilton-2/

Harford, Tim, @TimHarford, "Why there will never be another Da Vinci," _TimHarford.com_ , 9 July 2011,  http://timharford.com/2011/07/why-there-will-never-be-another-da-vinci/

Harrison, Sarah, "Statement by Sarah Harrison," _Wikileaks_ , @wikileaks, 6 November 2013,  http://wikileaks.org/Statement-by-Sarah-Harrison.html

Haughey, Matt, @mathowie ^186.42], "Why I love Twitter and barely tolerate Facebook," _Medium_ @Medium [^186.43], 30 November 2012, [ https://medium.com/i-m-h-o/why-i-love-twitter-and-barely-tolerate-facebook-52a20d7a17de Haughey's article is not quoted here. It is mentioned in: "Twitter is a machine for continual self-reinvention," by Jason Kottke, _kottke.org_ , 30 November 2012.  http://kottke.org/12/11/twitter-is-a-machine-for-continual-self-reinvention

Havelock, Eric, _Preface to Plato_ in the series _History of the Greek Mind_ , Belknap Press of Harvard University Press, 1982.

Havelock, Eric, _The Muse Learns to Write: Reflections on Orality and Literacy from Antiquity to the Present_ , Yale University Press, 1988.

Haynes, David, "How to Deal With Angry People: David Haynes," _Business Week_ , @BW, 12 April 2012,  http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2012-04-12/how-to-deal-with-angry-people-david-haynes As told to Devin Leonard @devinleonard.

Hebblethwaite, Cordelia, @CordeliaHeb ^186.44], "#BBCtrending: Poor Leo, Oscar selfies, and a Cumberbomb," _BBC Trending_ , @BBCtrending [^186.45], 3 March 2014, [http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-trending-26410106

Heim, Anna, @abracarioca, "Google fined in Brazil for refusing to reveal bloggers' identities," _The NextWeb_ , @TheNextWeb, 20 August 2011,

 http://thenextweb.com/la/2011/08/20/google-fined-in-brazil-for-refusing-to-reveal-bloggers-identities/

Hernandez, Brian A., @BAHjournalist, " _Alec Baldwin Leaves Twitter With Final Tweet: 'It's Been Fun_ ,'" _Mashable_ , @mashable, 2 July 2012,  https://mashable.com/2012/07/02/alec-baldwin-leaves-twitter-its-been-fun/

Higgins, Parker, @xor, "Aaron Swartz Hackathons This Weekend to Continue his Work," _EFF_ , @EFF, 6 November 2013,  https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2013/11/aaron-swartz-hackathons-weekend-continue-his-work

Hinckley, Kee, @nazgul, "On Pseudonymity, Privacy and Responsibility on Google+," posted on his website _Marrowbones_ , 27 July 2011, http://www.marrowbones.com/commons/technosocial/2011/07/on_pseudonymity_privacy_and_re.html This website was found to not be in operation on 2 August 2013, although the domain was still registered to Kee Hinckley.

Howerton, Jason, @jason_howerton, "Bush-Era NSA Whistleblower Makes Most Explosive Allegations Yet About Extent of Gov't Surveillance — and You Won't Believe Who He Says They Spied On," in _TheBlaze.com_ , @theblaze, 20 June 2013,  http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/06/20/bush-era-nsa-whistleblower-makes-most-explosive-allegations-yet-about-true-extent-of-govt-surveillance/

Hill, Adriene, @adrienehill, interview with Michel, Alexandra, @alexandra_em, "Investment banking hard on the mind and body," _Marketplace Morning Report_ , @MarketplaceAPM, 15 February 2012,  http://www.marketplace.org/topics/business/investment-banking-hard-mind-and-body

Hill, George Roy, director, _The Sting_ , staring Paul Newman and Robert Redford, 1973.

Hitchens, Christopher, _Hitch-22 : a memoir_ , New York: Twelve, an imprint of the Hachette Book Group, 2010. "Whatever is not compulsory is forbidden" appeared on page 51. "the Norman yoke" appeared on page 39.

Hoffman, David, "Putin's Career Rooted in Russia's KGB," Washington Post Foreign Service, _Washington Post_ , Sunday 30 January 2000, page A1,  http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/inatl/longterm/russiagov/putin.htm

Horowitz, Michael C., _The Diffusion of Military Power_ , Princeton University Press, 2010,  http://www.michaelchorowitz.com/2010/06/the-diffusion-of-military-power/

Hübler, Axel, _Understatements and Hedges in English_ , by Axel Hübler, John Benjamins Publishing Company, June 1984, page 159.

Hudson, who asked that only his first name be used, was interviewed about irony and hipsters on Capitol Hill, Seattle, 13 June 2013 [^186.46]. Since the conversation topics included fashion and style, it is notable that he was wearing a plain, loose-fitting white T-shirt, clean jeans, and had no visible tattoos. On Saturday night, 21 September 2013 [^186.47], when he proofed his quotes, he was sporting a black pullover hoodie sweatshirt with no logos. The discussion on 26 September 2013 about reverse height discrimination [^186.48] found him wearing a gray, plain V-neck T-shirt. On 2 October 2013 [^186.49] and 16 October 2013 [^186.50] he provided ideas on literary theory and literary criticism. On 17 October 2013 [^186.51] he reviewed portions of the TASD manuscript. He was interviewed about the bourgeois on 18 September 2014 [^186.52]. On 12 October 2014, he contributed quotes about the declining significance of real names in offline friendships [^186.53].

Hudson, John, @John_Hudson, "FBI Drops Law Enforcement as 'Primary' Mission," _Foreign Policy_ , @ForeignPolicy, 5 January 2014,  http://thecable.foreignpolicy.com/posts/2014/01/05/fbi_drops_law_enforcement_as_primary_mission#sthash.ECGFlfoz.dpbs

Hunter, Murray, "How Australia Is Spying On Its Own – Analysis," Eurasia Review, @EurasiaReview, 11 November 2013,  http://www.eurasiareview.com/11112013-australia-spying-analysis/

Huppke, Rex, @RexHuppke, "Twitter response to family's crisis shows reality of online friendships," _Chicago Tribune_ , 12 March 2013,  http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-parise-twitter-huppke,0,6204497.story

Hyatt, Rohail, producer, "Alif Allah Chambey Di Booty," _Coke Studio_ , 2010. The lead singers are Arif Lohar and Meesha Shafi. Sung in Punjabi. URL of the music video "Alif Allah Chambey Di Booty" on the Coke Studio video channel:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjaH2iuoYWE&feature=relmfu

Hymes, Brandon [^186.54], interviewed at Black Coffee Coop @BlackCoffeeCoop [^186.55], Capitol Hill, Seattle, 14 October 2014.

Hypponen, Mikko, @mikko, "Cyber Arms Race: Mikko Hypponen at TEDxBrussels," speech delivered at _TEDxBrussels_ , @TEDxBrussels, 28 October 2013, posted 1 November 2013, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHj7jgQpnBM

Iacocca, Lido A., Novak, William, editor, _Iacocca: An Autobiography_ , Bantam Books, 1984.

Ice-T, @FINALLEVEL, "99 Problems" song, written in 1993. He uses Ice as his good name, i.e., as a formal first name rather than merely a nickname. Citations of his works commonly combine both parts of his name into a single moniker, often with a hyphen. His name at birth was Tracy Marrow.

Imtiaz, Saba, @Saba_Imtiaz, _Karachi, You're Killing Me!_ Random House India, 1 February 2014. Also available on Kindle. The blurb for the book is quoted in TASD as it appeared on Saba Imtiaz's website on 5 April 2014: http://sabaimtiaz.com/khibook

India TV webteam, "Modi's Gujarat bears the third highest debt burden after Bengal and UP," _India TV_ , @indiatvnews, updated 7 April 2013, 06:34:46,  http://www.indiatvnews.com/business/india/modi-s-gujarat-bears-the-third-highest-debt-burden-after-bengal--5216.html

Indo-Asian News Service, IANS, distributor of the anonymous article: "Are people their competitive best at 50?" _The Express Tribune_ , @etribune, 16 December 2011,  http://tribune.com.pk/story/307545/are-people-their-competitive-best-at-50/ IANS appears to have glossed the article from the Daily Express, @Daily_Express.

Ingram, Mathew, @mathewi, "The disappearing web: Information decay is eating away our history," _GigaOM_ @gigaom, 19 September 2012,  http://gigaom.com/2012/09/19/the-disappearing-web-information-decay-is-eating-away-our-history/

Ingram, Mathew, @mathewi, "Facebook's graph search and the end of privacy by obscurity," _GigaOM_ @gigaom, 23 January 2013,  http://gigaom.com/2013/01/23/facebooks-graph-search-and-the-end-of-privacy-by-obscurity/

Ingram, Mathew, @mathewi, "When cancer stole Roger Ebert's voice, Twitter gave him a new one," _paidContent_ , 4 April 2013, the day Roger Ebert died.  http://paidcontent.org/2013/04/04/when-cancer-stole-roger-eberts-voice-twitter-gave-him-a-new-one/

Ingram, Mathew, @mathewi, "Moot is right — we're a lot better off with online anonymity than we would be without it," _Gigaom_ , @gigaom, 18 February 2014,  http://gigaom.com/2014/02/18/moot-is-right-were-a-lot-better-off-with-online-anonymity-than-we-would-be-without-it/ Points to: "The anonymity I know," by Chris "moot" Poole, @moot, _Chris Hates Writing_ , 12 February 2014,  http://chrishateswriting.com/post/76431353368/the-anonymity-i-know

Itzkoff, Dave, @ditzkoff, "The Young Salinger, Mordant Yet Hopeful," _The New York Times_ , @nytimes, 23 April 2013,  https://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/24/books/9-letters-from-young-j-d-salinger-unearthed.html

Jackson, Eric, @ericjackson, "Facebook's MySpace Moment: Why Twitter Is Already Bigger Than Facebook," _Forbes_ , @Forbes, 26 September 2012,  http://www.forbes.com/sites/ericjackson/2012/09/26/facebooks-myspace-moment-why-twitter-is-already-bigger-than-facebook/

Jackson, Eric, @ericjackson, "Here's Why Google and Facebook Might Completely Disappear in the Next 5 Years," _Forbes_ , @Forbes, 30 April 2012,  http://www.forbes.com/sites/ericjackson/2012/04/30/heres-why-google-and-facebook-might-completely-disappear-in-the-next-5-years/

Jackson, Mark, @ispreview, "Security Fears Re-emerge Over UK ISP TalkTalk and Huawei Internet Filter," _ISPreview_ , 26 July 2013,  http://www.ispreview.co.uk/index.php/2013/07/security-fears-re-emerge-over-uk-isp-talktalk-and-huawei-internet-filter.html

James, E. L., _50 Shades of Grey_ , Vintage, 3 April 2012. E. L. James is the pen name of Erika Mitchell.

Johnson, Christopher, _Microstyle, the Art of Writing Little_ , W.W. Norton, New York, 2011. Christopher Johnson tweets as @Microstyle, but primarily as @name_inspector. Microstyle complements _Tragedy and Self-Destruction_ with practical information on microblogging, branding and micromessaging.

Johnson, Timothy, @timothywjohnson ^186.56],"Sunday News Shows Ignore Historic Climate March - No Mention Of The People's Climate March On Meet The Press, Face The Nation, State Of The Union, Or Fox News Sunday," _Media Matters_ blog, @mmfa [^186.57], Sunday, 21 September 2014 2:47 p.m. EDT, [ http://mediamatters.org/blog/2014/09/21/sunday-news-shows-ignore-historic-climate-march/200839

Timothy Johnson's article was found through the first tweet below. The substantive text within the second tweet was quoted (but not cited) beneath the mention of Johnson's article in TASD.

No mention of today's climate marches on CBS, CNN, Fox or NBC Sunday news shows. Not one word. http://mediamatters.org/blog/2014/09/21/sunday-news-shows-ignore-historic-climate-march/200839

Sunday 21 September 2014 Monte Paulsen ‏@MontePaulsen [^186.58] https://twitter.com/MontePaulsen/status/513875353644060674 Bio: Certified Passive House Consultant by day. Climate concerned superdad by night. Location: Vancouver, British Columbia - reddoorenergyadvisors.ca - 14,700 tweets. 2,001 following. 1,539 followers.

Reply:

@MontePaulsen @davewiner It's almost as if the media were controlled by economic interests interested in maintaining the status quo!

21 September 2014 Seth Morabito ‏@Twylo [^186.59] https://twitter.com/Twylo/status/513925932281638912 Bio: Silicon Valley programmer, bookbinder, tinkerer, geek, and ham radio operator (NF6Q). Location: Fremont, CA. loomcom.com - 1,664 tweets. 164 following. 147 followers.

Joplin, Scott, "The Entertainer" piano rag, 1902.

Kagan, Shelly, _Death_ , Open Yale Courses Series, Yale University Press, 15 May 2012.

Kaku, Michio, @michiokaku, _Visions: How Science Will Revolutionize the 21st Century_ , Anchor, 1998.

Kalbag, Sachin, @SachinKalbag, "A free lesson in column-writing" _Mid-Day.com_ , @mid_day, Mumbai, 27 July 2013,  http://www.mid-day.com/columnists/2013/jul/270713-a-free-lesson-in-column-writing.htm

Karmali, Luke, @lukekarmali, "Mists of Pandaria Pushes Warcraft Subs Over 10 Million: Blizzard has revealed that 2.7 million copies of the game's 4th expansion were sold in its first week," _IGN_ , @IGN, October 4, 2012,  http://www.ign.com/articles/2012/10/04/mists-of-pandaria-pushes-warcraft-subs-over-10-million

Karr, Jean-Baptiste Alphonse; 24 November 1808 – 29 September 1890. Karr was a French journalist, novelist and critic. He is credited with the saying: _Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose_. In English: The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Kawasaki, Guy, @GuyKawasaki, and Fitzpatrick, Peg, @PegFitzpatrick, _The Art of Social Media: Power Tips for Power Users_ , Portfolio Hardcover, 4 December 2014,  http://www.amazon.com/The-Art-Social-Media-Power/dp/1591848075/ref=tmm_hrd_title_0

Kellewood, Tyrone [^186.60], MA, NCC. Tyrone Kellewood was a licensed mental health counselor (LMHC) at the Kwawachee Counseling Center of the Puyallup Tribal Health Authority, Tacoma, Washington, USA, when he was interviewed for this book at the Online Café on Capitol Hill, Seattle, 9 September 2012.

Kelly, Samantha Murphy, @HeySamantha, "82% of Women Think Social Media Drives the Definition of Beauty," _Mashable_ , @mashable, 24 January 2014, http://mashable.com/2014/01/24/dove-beauty-study/ Murphy reports on the results of a study conducted by Dove @Dove and summarized in the short film _Selfie_ http://youtu.be/BFkm1Hg4dTI The film was released on 19 January 2014 as part of Dove's #BeautyIs campaign.

Kendzior, Sarah, @sarahkendzior, "The moral bankruptcy of the internship economy," blog post on _SarahKendzior.com_ , 9 June 2013,  http://sarahkendzior.com/2013/06/09/the-moral-bankruptcy-of-the-internship-economy/

Kendzior, Sarah, @sarahkendzior, "The immorality of college admissions - Wealth is the overriding factor for college admissions, making a farce of institutions that boast of diversity," _Al Jazeera_ , @AJEnglish, 29 October 2013,  http://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/opinion/2013/10/immorality-college-admissions-2013102945841711416.html

Kendzior, Sarah, @sarahkendzior, "Expensive cities are killing creativity - New York City, a traditional incubator for artists, has now become a 'gated citadel' for creativity," _Al Jazeera_ , @AJEnglish, 17 December 2013,  http://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/opinion/2013/12/expensive-cities-are-killing-creativity-2013121065856922461.html

Kessler, Sarah, @SarahFKessler, "6 Successful SXSW Startup Launch Stories," _Mashable_ , @mashable, 5 March 2011, http://mashable.com/2011/03/05/sxsw-launches/

Kiley, Brendan, @brendankiley, "The Mystery of the Tainted Cocaine - What's a drug used to deworm livestock—a drug that can obliterate your immune system—doing in your cocaine? Nobody knows." _The Stranger_ , @strangerslog, 19 August 2010,  http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/the-mystery-of-the-tainted-cocaine/Content?oid=4683741#13802582509681

Kirkman, Jen, _I Can Barely Take Care of Myself: Tales From a Happy Life Without Kids_ , Simon & Schuster hardcover, 16 April 2013.

Klub der Wiener Kaffeehausbesitzer, "Intangible Cultural Heritage in Austria - Viennese Coffee House Culture," Klubobmann KommR Maximilian K. Platzer,  http://immaterielleskulturerbe.unesco.at/cgi-bin/unesco/element.pl?eid=71&lang=en The club's URL: http://www.kaffeesieder.at/jart/prj3/kwk/main.jart

Knowles, Elizabeth, editor, _The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations_ , Oxford University Press, corrected 5th edition, 2001. Two entries contributed information here. The first is the entry for "Karl Marx," page 500, item 2. The second is the entry for Jules Renard, page 624, item 12.

Kottke, Jason, @jkottke, "Twitter is a machine for continual self-reinvention," _kottke.org_ , 30 November 2012.  http://kottke.org/12/11/twitter-is-a-machine-for-continual-self-reinvention

Khoury, Nabeel, @khoury_nabeel, ^186.83] discussion participant, "Has Obama's War on Terror Lost a Key Ally?" _KCRW's To the Point_ , @ToThePoint_KCRW [^186.84] hosted by Warren Olney. Audio segment length: 32 minutes, 27 seconds. Aired 27 January 2015. [ http://www.kcrw.com/news-culture/shows/to-the-point/will-yemens-disorder-stop-obamas-war-on-terror

Kreider, Tim, @Bananapaper, "The 'Busy' Trap," _The New York Times,_ 'The Opinionator' section, @nytimes, 30 June 2012,  http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/06/30/the-busy-trap/

Krieger, T.E. (Todd E.), @tkrieg, _The Portable Pundit, A Crash Course in Cocktail Party Conversation_. New York: Warner Books, 2000, pages 127 and 134.

Kumar, Megha, _Communalism and Sexual Violence: Ahmedabad Since 1969_ , Andhra Pradesh, India: Orient Blackswan, 15 April 2014.

Kumar, Ruchir, "Patna HC stays arrest warrant against Taslima," _Hindustan Times_ , Patna, 15 April 2013,  http://www.hindustantimes.com/India-news/Patna/Patna-HC-stays-arrest-warrant-against-Taslima/Article1-1044882.aspx

Kuper, Simon, @KuperSimon, "The great middle-class identity crisis," _FT Magazine_ , @FT, 8 November 2013,  http://www.ft.com/cms/s/2/04179370-4741-11e3-b4d3-00144feabdc0.html

Ladner, Peter, @pladner, "Glittering Vancouver is now the poverty capital of Canada," _Crosscut_ , @Crosscut, 3 October 2011,  http://crosscut.com/2011/10/03/vancouver/21365/Glittering-Vancouver-is-now-the-poverty-capital-of-Canada/

Lamar, Cyriaque, @CyriaqueLamar, "The 22 rules of storytelling, according to Pixar," _Io9.com_ , @io9, 8 June 2012,  http://io9.com/5916970/the-22-rules-of-storytelling-according-to-pixar The article features quotes by Emma Coats ‏@lawnrocket.

Lanham, Richard A., _A Handlist of Rhetorical Terms_ , by Richard A. Lanham, University of California Press, second edition, 23 December 1991.

Lee, Tara, @_LaPeligrosa, conversation at Caffé Vita, Capitol Hill, Seattle, 17 March 2014.

Lehrer, Jonah, @jonahlehrer, "Taking Knowledge Out of College," _The Wall Street Journal_ , @WSJ, 27 April 2012,  http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702303459004577363892373762930.html

Lenin, Vladimir Ilyich, _What is to be done?_ Originally published in 1902.

Lennard, Natasha, @natashalennard, "The not-so targeted recent Yemen drone strikes - White House comments reveal lack of knowledge of those killed and their threat level," _Salon.com_ , @Salon, 16 August 2013,  http://www.salon.com/2013/08/16/the_not_so_targeted_recent_yemen_drone_strikes/

Leonard, Devin, @devinleonard, ghostwriter of:

"How to Deal With Angry People: David Haynes," by David Haynes, _Business Week_ , @BW, 12 April 2012,  http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2012-04-12/how-to-deal-with-angry-people-david-haynes

"How to Negotiate: David Boies," by David Boies, @TheDavidBoies, _Business Week_ , @BW, 12 April 2012,  http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2012-04-12/how-to-negotiate-david-boies

Lestelle, Cody, @CodyLestelle, interviewed on 25 and 26 November 2014. His blog: https://codylestelle.wordpress.com/

‏LeVine, Steve, @stevelevine, "Exxon Mobil CEO pivots on climate, slams 'manufactured fear' on fracking," _EnergyWire_ , @EEPublishing, 28 June 2012, http://eenews.net/public/energywire/2012/06/28/4

Levison, Ladar, @kingladar, "Q&A with Ladar Levison," NANOG 59, Phoenix AZ, _NANOG_ , @nanog, 9 October 2013, http://youtu.be/uo9-0So2A_g

Levison, Ladar, @kingladar, "Secrets, lies and Snowden's email: why I was forced to shut down Lavabit," _The Guardian_ , theguardian.com, @guardian, 20 May 2014,  www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/may/20/why-did-lavabit-shut-down-snowden-email

Leyden, John, @jleyden, "Angela Merkel's phone was being listened in on by FIVE foreign powers — If your spooks aren't tapping Merkel, you should fire them really," by John Leyden, _The Register_ , @TheRegister, 26th November 2013,  http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/11/26/merkel_phone_tapped_by_5_countries/

Lexicon Branding and Lexicon's Alan Clark, "The Unbearable Lightness of Meaning," _Lexicon blog_ , @LexiconBranding, 3 January 2013,

 http://lexiconblog.com/2013/01/03/the-unbearable-lightness-of-meaning/

Liberman, Mark, @mark_liberman, "Translated phrase-list jokes," _Language Log_ , @LanguageLog, 21 May 2011, http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=3154

Lin, Hellen Lee, @helenleelin, "How Your Cell Phone Hurts Your Relationships.

The mere presence of a phone affects how you relate to others." _Scientific American_ @sciam, 4 September 2012,  http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=how-your-cell-phone-hurts-your-relationships

Linebaugh, Heather, "I worked on the US drone program. The public should know what really goes on - Few of the politicians who so brazenly proclaim the benefits of drones have a real clue how it actually works (and doesn't)." _The Guardian_ , theguardian.com, @guardian, 29 December 2013,  http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/dec/29/drones-us-military

Lowensohn, Josh, @Josh, "'Privacy' is Dictionary.com's word of the year," _The Verge_ , ‏@verge, 17 December 2013,  http://www.theverge.com/2013/12/17/5221792/privacy-is-dictionary-coms-word-of-the-year See also: Infographics » The Year in Privacy: 2013, http://blog.dictionary.com/infographic-privacy/

Lynch, EDW, @edwlynchcmEDW, "Nicholas Carr on What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains," _Laughing Squid_ , @LaughingSquid, 7 May 7, 2013,  http://laughingsquid.com/nicholas-carr-on-what-the-internet-is-doing-to-our-brains/

Maestas, David, conversation, Capitol Hill, Seattle, 18 May 2013.

Madar, Chase @ChMadar, "The Over-Policing of America—Police Overkill Has Entered the DNA of Social Policy," _TomDispatch_ , @TomDispatch, 8 December 2013,  http://www.tomdispatch.com/post/175781/tomgram%3A_chase_madar%2C_the_criminalization_of_everyday_life/

Mahoney, Robert, @RobMahoney_CPJ, "Greenwald wants to return to US, but not yet," _Committee to Protect Journalists_ , @pressfreedom, no date, but probably 15 October 2013.  https://www.cpj.org/blog/2013/10/greenwald-wants-to-return-to-us-but-not-yet.php

Mailer, Norman, _Ancient Evenings_ , Little, Brown & Company, 1983.

Maly, Tim, @doingitwrong, "Mark Zuckerberg's Hoodie" on Maly's blog _Quiet Babylon_. Undated, circa early 2013.  http://quietbabylon.com/2013/mark-zuckerbergs-hoodie/

Man, Nancy, @nancycc, "Unique Baby Name – Hot Shot," by Nancy Man, _Nancy's Baby Names_ , 13 July 2012,  http://www.nancy.cc/2012/07/13/unique-baby-name-hot-shot/

Mansuri, Anam, @anammansuri, "It's getting hot in here," _The Express Tribune Sunday Magazine_ , @etribune, Karachi, 9 September 2012,  http://tribune.com.pk/story/431802/its-getting-hot-in-here/ Anam Mansuri profiles the singer Meesha Shafi.

Marcus, Gary, @GaryMarcus, and Solomon, Rachel Lynn, @rlynn_solomon, "Learning To Play Music At Any Age With Gary Marcus," KUOW, @KUOW, radio show that aired on 9 February 2012, http://kuow.org/program.php?id=25871 The KUOW URL no longer resolved on 10 August 2013.

Marcuse, Herbert, _One-dimensional Man: studies in ideology of advanced industrial society_ , Beacon, 1964.

Marr, Andrew, presenter, "Andrew Marr's History of Modern Britain - 1. Advance Britannia," _Andrew Marr's History of Modern Britain_ , BBC television documentary, first shown: 9 p.m. UST, 22 May 2007, as retrieved on 30 December 2014,  http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00brnr1/andrew-marrs-history-of-modern-britain-1-advance-britannia \- Chris Granlund and Tom Giles, producers. Tom Giles, director. Provided information on Britain's postwar economy and rationing. Also provided information on the fate of 650 British soldiers in the Gloucestershire Regiment in the Battle of the Imjin River, 22-25 April 1951.

Marx, Karl, _Theses on Feuerbach_ , number 11, written 1845, published 1888. As found quoted and cited in the entry for "Karl Marx" in _The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations_ , Elizabeth Knowles, editor, Oxford University Press, corrected 5th edition, 2001, page 500, item 2.

_Max Headroom_ TV series, season 1, episode 3, "Body Banks," written by Steve Roberts. First aired on 14 April 1987 on the ABC television network in the United States. The series was produced by Chrysalis Visual Programming and Lakeside Productions for Lorimar-Telepictures.

_Max Headroom_ television series, season 1, episode 6, "The Blanks" written by Steve Roberts, originally aired on 5 May 1987 on the ABC television network in the United States.

McBride, Jason, ‏@JasonCaley, interview in Cal Anderson Park, Capitol Hill, Seattle, 9 May 2014 [^62.24]. Interview on New Wave and political correctness in comedy and the history of New Wave, which took place on a sidewalk in Capitol Hill, Seattle, 19 September 2014 [^60.8].

McCullagh, Declan, @declanm, "Instagram says it now has the right to sell your photos," _CNET_ , @CNET, 17 December 2012,  http://news.cnet.com/8301-13578_3-57559710-38/instagram-says-it-now-has-the-right-to-sell-your-photos/

McDermott, Nick, @mcdermott_n, "The unfunny girls! Female bosses' jokes fall flat while men get all the laughs in the boardroom," _Daily Mail_ , @MailOnline, 20 May 2012,  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2147048/The-dreaded-awkward-silence-Why-womens-workplace-jokes-flop-men-excel-witty-banter.html

McIntosh, Jonathan, @radicalbytes ^186.94 - added late and out of sequence here],"Playing with privilege: the invisible benefits of gaming while male," _Polygon_ , @Polygon [^186.95 - added late and out of sequence here], 23 April 23, 2014, [ http://www.polygon.com/2014/4/23/5640678/playing-with-privilege-the-invisible-benefits-of-gaming-while-male

Mehta, Pankti, @panktimehta, "Twitter is impacting writing, journalism," _Hindustan Times_ , @htTweets, Mumbai, 2 November 2012,  http://www.hindustantimes.com/Books/LiteraryBuzz/Twitter-is-impacting-writing-journalism/Article1-953661.aspx

Mehta, Ravi; Zhu, Rui (Juliet); Cheema, Amar, "Is Noise Always Bad? Exploring the Effects of Ambient Noise on Creative Cognition," Journal of Consumer Research: December 2012. Published by _The University of Chicago Press_. Press release:  http://www.press.uchicago.edu/pressReleases/2012/June/JCR_1206_Noise.html The article's URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.1086/665048

Menon, Nivedita, "Feminism and the Family – Thoughts on International Women's Day. Excerpts from my forthcoming book _Seeing Like a Feminist_ (Penguin India/Zubaan Books)," _Kafila_ , @kafila, 8 March 2012.  http://kafila.org/2012/03/08/feminism-and-the-family-thoughts-on-international-womens-day/

Messerschmidt, Courtney, @courtneyme109 ^186.93], "Wonderbras & Flat Tops," by Courtney Messerschmidt, _Line of Departure_ , 28 August 2011, http://www.lineofdeparture.com/2011/08/28/wonderbras-flat-tops/ On 20 February 2015 the article was no longer available at that URL and Line of Departure was found to have been taken down. In the article, Messerschmidt reviewed _The Diffusion of Military Power_ , by Michael C. Horowitz, Princeton University Press, 2010, [ http://www.michaelchorowitz.com/2010/06/the-diffusion-of-military-power/

Miller, Geoffrey, @matingmind, _The Mating Mind_ , Doubleday, 2000, pages 280-288, sections "Aesthetic Tastes as Sensory Biases" and "The Beautiful, the Difficult, and the Costly." Also pages 379-382 in the section "Poetic Handicaps."

Miller, Greg, @gregpmiller, and Woodward, Bob, "Secret memos reveal explicit nature of U.S., Pakistan agreement on drones," _Washington Post_ @washingtonpost, 23 October 2013,  http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/top-pakistani-leaders-secretly-backed-cia-drone-campaign-secret-documents-show/2013/10/23/15e6b0d8-3beb-11e3-b6a9-da62c264f40e_story.html

Mims, Christopher, @mims, "Cisco's disastrous quarter shows how NSA spying could freeze US companies out of a trillion-dollar opportunity," _Quartz_ , QZ, 13 November 2013,  http://qz.com/147313/ciscos-disastrous-quarter-shows-how-nsa-spying-could-freeze-us-companies-out-of-a-trillion-dollar-opportunity/

Minkowski, C. Christopher] "King David in Oudh: a Bible story in Sanskrit and the Just King at an Afghan court," Inaugural Lecture for the Boden Professorship, University of Oxford, 7 March 2006. [ http://users.ox.ac.uk/~ball2185/Minkowski.Inaugural.pdf \- In 2013 it was also available on Minkowski's homepage: http://www.orinst.ox.ac.uk/staff/isa/cminkowski.html

Mitchell, Anthony, "A Leet Primer," _E-Commerce Times_ , 6 December 2005,

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Mitchell, Anthony, "A Primer for Business Rhetoric," _E-Commerce Times_ , 4 January 2005, http://www.ecommercetimes.com/story/39361.html

Mitchell, Erika, see James, E. L.

Mitchell, Greg, @GregMitch, "What Manning Revealed," 21 August 2013,  http://gregmitchellwriter.blogspot.ca/2013/06/as-debate-continues-what-manning.html Greg Mitchell's blog post is the basis for an update to his ebook, written with Kevin Gosztola: _Truth and Consequences: The U.S. vs. Private Manning_ , Kindle edition, August 2013.

Mitchell, Jon, @ablaze, "Four Days Of Digital Detox: The Ultimate Tech Decelerator," _ReadWrite_ , @RWW, 24 October 2012,  http://readwrite.com/2012/10/24/four-days-of-digital-detox-the-ultimate-tech-decellerator

Mitchell, Martha, _Gone with the Wind_ , Macmillan Publishers, 10 June 1936. The novel portrays plantation society in Georgia during the Civil War and Reconstruction. A movie of the same name and based on the novel had its premier in Atlanta on 15 December 1939 with Victor Fleming credited as the director.

Mitchell, Maude Wayne, telephone conversation about irony 15 May 2013.

Mitchell, Robert Edward, telephone conversation about economics, 5 June 2012.

Mitchell, Robert Edward, _A Concise History of Economists' Assumptions about Markets: From Adam Smith to Joseph Schumpeter_ , Praeger, August 2014.  http://www.abc-clio.com/ABC-CLIOCorporate/product.aspx?pc=A4494C

Mohan, Archis, @ArchisMohan, "Tehelka editor facing sexual assault allegations," _Delhi Durbar_ , @DelhiDurbar, 20 November 2013,  http://delhidurbar.in/tehelka-editor-facing-sexual-assault-allegations/

Moore, Charles, "Royal wedding: what did the wedding tell the world about this nation of ours? All human life was on display in Westminster Abbey – and all of it was mesmerising, writes Charles Moore." _The Telegraph_ , @Telegraph, 29 April 2011. The original URL did not resolve through browser-address-bar type-in or pasting on 28 August 2013 but the page was still live on that date and could be found by searching for a portion of the article title in a search engine.  http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/royal-wedding/8484340/Royal-wedding-what-did-the-wedding-tell-the-world-about-this-nation-of-ours.html

Moore, Rowan, @RowanMoore, quoted in "20 predictions for the next 25 years," _The Observer_ , @guardian, 1 January 2011,  http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2011/jan/02/25-predictions-25-years Rowan Moore is the Observer's architecture correspondent.

Morell, Michael, "Correcting the record on the NSA review," _Washington Post_ @washingtonpost opinion section, 27 December 2013,  http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/michael-morell-correcting-the-record-on-the-nsa-recommendations/2013/12/27/54846538-6e45-11e3-aecc-85cb037b7236_story.html

Morellé [^186.62] (spelling unconfirmed, could be Morelly) quote is from Edward Durkee [^186.63] circa 1989-1990, when Morellé's shadows were exhibited in a dingy, forgotten little gallery in lower Manhattan, curated by the late Katherine Chapin. The show was a commercial failure for the gallery, which closed at the conclusion of the exhibition. Morellé was not the first artist to produce a white canvas. "White On White" by Kasimir Malevich, 1918, is considered the first white painting.

Morozov, Evgeny, @evgenymorozov, "Future Shlock - Meet the two-world hypothesis and its havoc," _New Republic_ , @tnr, 27 May 2013,  http://www.newrepublic.com/article/113272/eric-schmidt-and-jared-cohenthe-new-digital-ages-futurist-schlock

Morrison, Ann M., "Aging Gracefully, the French Way," _The New York Times_ , @nytimes, 14 July 2010,  https://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/15/fashion/15French.html

Mortimer, Ian, @IanJamesFM, _The Time Traveler's Guide to Medieval England — A Handbook for Visitors to the Fourteenth Century_ , New York: Touchstone/Simon & Schuster, 2011. "Languages" section, pages 80-82; "Manners and Politeness" section, page 91. See also: http://www.TimeTravellersGuides.com/

Moss, Ann, _Printed Commonplace-Books and the Structuring of Renaissance Thought_ , Oxford University Press, USA, 23 May 1996.

Moss, Ann, "Commonplace Books," _Encyclopedia of Rhetoric_ , T.O. Sloane, editor, Oxford University Press, 2001.

Mullaney, Tim, @timmullaney, "Jobs fight: Haves vs. the have-nots," _USA TODAY_ , @USATODAY, 16 September 2012, as retrieved 28 December 2012 on:

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Murphy, Bruce, editor, _Benét's Reader's Encyclopedia_ , fourth edition, HarperCollins, paperback, 1996. The following entries contributed ideas or quotes: "aposiopesis" on page 43, "Blast" on page 114, "dada" on page 246, "little magazines" on page 606, "Little Review, The" on page 607, "metaphor" on page 677, "parody" on page 778, "pun" on page 541, "science fiction" on page 923, "sock and buskin" on page 960, and "Tolkien, J[ohn] R[onald] R[euel]" on page 1031.

Musk, Elon, @elonmusk, "All Our Patent Are Belong To You," _Tesla Motors blog_ , @TeslaMotors, 12 June 2014,  http://www.teslamotors.com/blog/all-our-patent-are-belong-you The title of the blog post plays on the phrase: "All your base are belong to us," from an opening scene of the video game _Zero Wing_ by Toaplan. The phrase is a botched translation from the original Japanese version of Toaplan's game. The English version of Zero Wing was released by Sega in 1991 for the Sega Genesis game console, also known as the Mega Drive console. The Sega version contained the phrase, "All your base are belong to us."

Naqvi, Ahmer, @karachikhatmal, "Anatomy of a Shaadi crash," _Dawn_ , @dawn_com, 9 November 2012,  http://dawn.com/2012/11/09/anatomy-of-a-shaadi-crash/

Nauert, Rick, "Poor Sleep Patterns Challenge Romantic Relationships," _PsychCentral_ , @PsychCentral, 21 January 2013,  http://psychcentral.com/news/2013/01/21/poor-sleep-patterns-challenge-romantic-relationships/50621.html

Navarro, Joe, @navarrotells, "Nonverbals of the Skin. The skin communicates very effectively - if you know what to look for," in Navarro's _Spycatcher_ series in _Psychology Today_ , @PsychToday, 1 November 2012,  http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/spycatcher/201211/nonverbals-the-skin?page=2

Nelson, Dean, @DelhiDean, "India election 2014: The woman calling for Narendra Modi to take responsibility for mass murder," _The Daily Telegraph_ , @Telegraph, 13 April 2014,  http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/india/10762765/India-election-2014-The-woman-calling-for-Narendra-Modi-to-take-responsibility-for-mass-murder.html

Newitz, Annalee, @Annaleen, "Dear Science Fiction Writers: Stop Being So Pessimistic! - Neal Stephenson created the Hieroglyph Project to convince sci-fi writers to stop worrying and learn to love the future," _Smithsonian magazine_ , @SmithsonianMag, April 2012,  http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/Dear-Science-Fiction-Writers-Stop-Being-So-Pessimistic.html

Nikolova, Elena, "Professor Nicholas Christakis takes us into the world of social networks," _GR Reporter – News from Greece_ , 18 March 2010,

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Nilsson, Anders, @nilssonanders, "Mitt Romney – Are all twitter followers equal?" _ESET blog_ , 22 July 2012,  http://blog.eset.se/mitt-romney-are-all-twitter-followers-equal/

NOmad Red Owl (street name) in a late-night conversation on a sidewalk in Capitol Hill, Seattle, 12 May 2013. A conversation about swimming occurred in October 2013. An interview about colonialism on 9 June 2014 [^186.64] occurred too late to be footnoted where it appears in TASD. The information in TASD about the Lowry War originated from a discussion he initiated in January 2013 [^186.65].

Nordquist, Richard, "commonplace book," _About.com Grammar & Composition_, as retrieved on 17 April 2014,  http://grammar.about.com/od/c/g/commonplacebookterm.htm

Nunns, Alex, and Idle, Nadia, editors, _Tweets from Tahrir: Egypt's Revolution as it Unfolded, in the Words of the People Who Made it_ , OR Books, 21 April 21, 2011.

O'Dell, Kathy, "Fluxus Feminus," _The Drama Review_. Vol. 41, No. 1, 1997, pages 43-60, http://www.scribd.com/doc/39024842/Fluxus-Feminus

Ollivier, Debra, @debraso, _What French Women Know: About Love, Sex, and Other Matters of the Heart and Mind,_ Penguin Group (USA), 3 September 2009.

Olney, Warren, host, "Has Obama's War on Terror Lost a Key Ally?," _KCRW's To the Point_. Audio segment length: 32 minutes, 27 seconds. Aired 27 January 2015.  http://www.kcrw.com/news-culture/shows/to-the-point/will-yemens-disorder-stop-obamas-war-on-terror

Olson, Parmy, @parmy, _We Are Anonymous: Inside the Hacker World of LulzSec, Anonymous, and the Global Cyber Insurgency_ , Hachette Digital, Inc., 5 June 2012, as retrieved on 2 May 2013, page 7. As glossed on: "Anonymous (group)," _Wikipedia_ , @Wikipedia, as retrieved on 20 February 2014, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anonymous_%28group%29

Ong, Walter J., with a foreword by Hartley John, _Orality and Literacy: 30th Anniversary Edition_ , New Accents, 2012.

Ono, Yoko, @YokoOno, [title of the artwork was not recorded]; framed sheets of paper showing how to create a particular work of art, exhibited as part of the _In the Spirit of Fluxus_ exhibition at the Whitney Museum of American Art and other venues in 1993.

Ono, Yoko, @YokoOno, _Cut Piece_. There are multiple versions, as described in "Yoko Ono Cut Piece," by Florica Vlad, @florica, on her Wordpress blog, 11 September 2007,  https://florica.wordpress.com/2007/09/11/yoko-ono-cut-piece/

Open Rights Group, ‏@OpenRightsGroup, _International Principles on the Application of Human Rights to Communications Surveillance_ , final version, UK, 10 July 2013, https://en.necessaryandproportionate.org/text

Oriya [^186.66], interview, Capitol Hill, Seattle, 12 September 2014. On the same day, Oriya provided editorial advice on this book's treatment of abstract art [^186.67].

Orner, Peter, @Peter_Orner, "Who Owns That House?" _The New York Times_ , @nytimes, 'The Opinionator' section, 19 August 2012,  http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/08/16/who-owns-that-house/

Orwell, George, _Nineteen Eighty-Four_ , originally published in London by Secker and Warburg in 1949.

Osborne, Hilary, @hilaryosborne, "Is 35 really the best age to be? A survey claims that by 35 people have reached certain milestones but have good years ahead of them. Do you agree?" _The Guardian_ , theguardian.com, @guardian, 18 April 2012,  http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/blog/2012/apr/18/is-35-best-age

Ousby, Ian, _The Cambridge Guide to Literature in English_ , Cambridge University Press, 1988, the entry for "Chaucer, Geoffrey" on pages 180-181; the entry for "conceit" on pages 211-12; the entry for "English language, the" on pages 318-322; the entry for "Lewis (Percy) Wyndham" on page 580; the entry for "metaphor" on page 658; the entry for "Tolkien, J[ohn] R[onald] R[euel]" on page 994; the entry for "vorticism" on page 1035.

Paik, Nam June, @NamJunePaikArt, "Media Planning for the Postindustrial Society," a proposal written for the Rockefeller Foundation in 1974.

Paine, Thomas, _Rights of Man_ , published in Britain in two parts. The first part was published in 1791, the second in 1792. A free ebook edition was available in 2014 from Project Gutenberg http://www.gutenberg.org/ in multiple formats: http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/3742

Peck, Michael, @Mipeck1, "Aircraft Carriers in Space - Naval analyst Chris Weuve talks to _Foreign Policy_ about what Battlestar Galactica gets right about space warfare," _Foreign Policy_ @ForeignPolicy, 28 September 2012,  http://www.foreignpolicy.com/articles/2012/09/28/aircraft_carriers_in_space

Pennebaker, James W., @jwpennebaker, _The Secret Life of Pronouns: What Our Words Say About Us_ , Bloomsbury Press, 30 August 2011.

Perez, Sarah, @sarahintampa, "Why Twitter Finally Killed The "Auto Follow" For Good," _TechCrunch_ , @TechCrunch, 8 July 2013,  http://techcrunch.com/2013/07/08/why-twitter-finally-killed-the-auto-follow-for-good/

Perkins, Olivera, "Is Walmart's request of associates to help provide Thanksgiving dinner for co-workers proof of low wages?" _The Plain Dealer_ , @ThePlainDealer, published online on _Cleveland.com_ (Clevelanddotcom) @clevelanddotcom, 18 November 2013,  http://www.cleveland.com/business/index.ssf/2013/11/is_walmarts_request_of_associa.html

Pocha, Jehangir S., ‏@JehangirPocha, "Shut Up India!: Free Speech is Failing in the World's Largest Democracy," _Huffington Post_ , @HuffingtonPost, 21 February 2014,  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jehangir-s-pocha/india-censorship_b_4832838.html

Polgreen, Lydia, @lpolgreen, "New Delhi Journal: Rehabilitation Comes to a Prison and to Its Inmates," _The New York Times_ , @nytimes, 18 July 2011,  https://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/19/world/asia/19delhi.html?_r=2&pagewanted=2

Popova, Maria, @brainpicker, "Computational Linguistics: What Our Word Choice Reveals About Us," _Brain Pickings_ , 1 September 2011,  http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2011/09/01/the-secret-life-of-pronouns/

Poole, Chris "moot," @moot, "The anonymity I know," _Chris Hates Writing_ , 12 February 2014,  http://chrishateswriting.com/post/76431353368/the-anonymity-i-know

Poole, Chris "moot," @moot, "THE NEXT CHAPTER," _4chan.org/news_ , 21 January 2015, as retrieved 22 January 2015, https://www.4chan.org/news (the most specific URL available on 2 March 2015).

Poole, Chris "moot," @moot, "moot's final 4chan Q&A" —which lasted 8 straight hours, Friday, 23 January 2015, ^186.96 – added late and out of sequence]. Audio: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYUKJBZuUig Livestream transcript of moot's final 4chan Q&A, found 24 January 2015:  https://docs.google.com/document/d/1pL3LmKIb6Q25LGzO3GwNqgGOAjQnrCasdMULVpwF4vw/edit?pli=1#heading=h.7otumdc9lmv On 2 March 2015 the transcript page was found to have the default language set to Arabic. This defacement did not alter the text of the transcript, but scripts on the page prevented the document from loading properly in Firefox v. 36.0. Only the first hour had been manually transcribed by 2 March 2015.

Porter, Henry, @HenryCPorter, "GCHQ revelations: mastery of the internet will mean mastery of everyone," _The Guardian_ , theguardian.com, @guardian, 21 June 2013,  http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/jun/21/gchq-mastery-internet-mastery-everyone

Pratt, Timothy, "'We Are Creating Walmarts of Higher Education' - As colleges feel pressure to graduate more students for less money, professors worry that the value of an education may be diminished," _The Atlantic_ , @TheAtlantic, 26 December 2013,  http://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2013/12/we-are-creating-walmarts-of-higher-education/282619/

Press Trust of India, @PTI_News,"Blocking porn sites would cause greater harm, Centre tells Supreme Court," _Times of India_ , @timesofindia, 5 May 2014,  http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Blocking-porn-sites-would-cause-greater-harm-Centre-tells-Supreme-Court/articleshow/34692564.cms

Proust, Marcel, _In Search of Lost Time_ , also known as _Remembrance of Things Past_. Originally published as: À la recherche du temps perdu, Grasset and Gallimard, 1913-1927. First English translation published in 1922-1931.

Purdy, Kevin, @kevinpurdy, "What Successful People Do With The First Hour Of Their Work Day," _Fast Company_ , @FastCompany, August 22, 2012,  http://www.fastcompany.com/3000619/what-successful-people-do-first-hour-their-work-day

Rai, Saritha, @SarithaRai, "Indian outsourcing: Why skills shortages persist despite the graduate glut," _Tech Republic_ , @TechRepublic, 20 June 2012,  http://www.techrepublic.com/blog/cio-insights/indian-outsourcing-why-skills-shortages-persist-despite-the-graduate-glut/39748897

Rajagopalan, Swarna, @swarraj, "A small post about Twitter (more than 140 characters though)," on her blog _IT'S JUST ME_ , 23 March 2014,  http://justswarna.blogspot.com/2014/03/a-small-post-about-twitter-more-than.html

Ramis, Harold, director, _Groundhog Day_ , 1993. The movie starred Bill Murray, Andie MacDowell and Chris Elliott. The screenplay was written by Ramis and Danny Rubin, based on a story by Rubin.

Rand, Ayn, _Atlas Shrugged_ , Random House, 1957.

RedOrbit, @redorbit, "70% Of Cocaine In The US Is Contaminated," _RedOrbit_ , 20 June 2011,  http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/2066906/70_of_cocaine_in_the_us_is_contaminated/

Reilly, Jerome, "Sting op exposes Andrews over FF Twitter rants. Former TD quits party over 'lack of direction'," _The Independent.ie_ , @Independent_ie, 12 August 2012,  http://www.independent.ie/national-news/sting-op-exposes-andrews-over-ff-twitter-rants-3197102.html

Renard, Jules, _Ouvres Complètes_ , volume 5, 1925-1927, diary entry for 28 January 1890. Jules Renard was a French novelist and dramatist, 1864-1910. As quoted and cited in: _The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations_ , Elizabeth Knowles, editor, Oxford University Press, corrected 5th edition, 2001, entry for "Jules Renard," page 624, item 12.

Resnikoff, Ned, @resnikoff, "How companies force 'emotional labor' on low-wage workers," _The Ed Show_ , @edshow on MSNBC @msnbc, 1 February 2013,  http://tv.msnbc.com/2013/02/01/how-companies-force-emotional-labor-on-low-wage-service-workers/

Reynolds, David S., _Walt Whitman's America: A Cultural Biography_ , Vintage Books, 1995. See: http://davidsreynolds.com/

Rice, Anne, (born Howard Allen Frances O'Brien) _Vampire Chronicles_ series of gothic novels published by Alfred A. Knopf in the years 1976-2003.

Richardson, Samuel, _Clarissa, or, the History of a Young Lady_ , England, 1748. The Penguin Classics paperback edition of 1986 contains 1,534 pages and an estimated 984,870 words.

Ricks, Thomas E., @tomricks1, "General Failure," _The Atlantic_ magazine, @TheAtlantic. Appeared online on Friday, 26 October 2012 and in the November 2012 print edition of _The Atlantic_ magazine.  http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/11/general-failure/309148/

Risen, James, "Snowden Says He Took No Secret Files to Russia," _The New York Times_ , @nytimes, 17 October 2013,  http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/18/world/snowden-says-he-took-no-secret-files-to-russia.html

Roberts, Steve, see _Max Headroom_ entry above.

Rosen, Jay, @jayrosen_nyu, "The People Formerly Known as the Audience," posted on 27 June 2006. Archived on _PressThink_ :  http://archive.pressthink.org/2006/06/27/ppl_frmr.html

Rosen, Jay, @jayrosen_nyu, "To make journalism harder, slower, less secure - That's what the surveillance state is trying to do. It has the means, the will and the latitude to go after journalism the way it went after terrorism. Only a more activist press, working together, stands a chance of resisting this." _PressThink_ , 26 August 2013,  http://pressthink.org/2013/08/to-make-journalism-harder-slower-less-secure/

Ross, Alice K., @NamingTheDead, "Only one in five of those killed in CIA drone strikes in Pakistan have been named," _Naming the Dead_ project of the _Bureau of Investigative Journalism_ , 21 September 2013,  http://www.thebureauinvestigates.com/namingthedead/only-one-in-five-of-those-killed-in-cia-drone-strikes-in-pakistan-have-been-named/?lang=en

Roy, Nilanjana S., @nilanjanaroy, "Nilanjana S Roy: Why writers are returning Sahitya Akademi awards," Business Standard (India), 12 October 2015,  http://www.business-standard.com/article/opinion/nilanjana-s-roy-the-writers-rebellion-115101201258_1.html

Rozema, Patricia, _I've Heard the Mermaids Singing_ , a Canadian film directed by Rozema, 1987.

Rumi, Raza, @Razarumi, "Escaping death in the Land of the Pure," _The Express Tribune_ , @etribune, 29 March 2014,  http://tribune.com.pk/story/688869/escaping-death-in-the-land-of-the-pure/

Russell, Jon, @jonrussell, "The only way to be anonymous on the Internet..." _Inside The Noodle Bowl_ , 1 September 2013,  http://insidethenoodlebowl.com/the-only-way-to-be-anonymous-on-the-internet

Rutenberg, Jim, "Montauk's Hipster Fatigue," _The New York Times_ , 3 August 2012,  http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/05/fashion/montauk-feels-the-effects-of-too-many-hipsters.html A version of this article appeared in print on 5 August 2012, on page ST1 of the New York edition with the headline: Montauk's Hipster Fatigue.

Ryan, Alan, "One Virtue at a Time, Please," _The New York Review of Books_ , 21 June 2012,  http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/2012/jun/21/one-virtue-time-please/ Ryan reviews this book: _Truth, Beauty, and Goodness Reframed: Educating for the Virtues in the Twenty-First Century_ , by Howard Gardner, Basic Books, 2011.

Rysdyke, Timothy, @victoryatsea, "GIRL ARMY Fights Back!!!" _The Stranger_ , @strangerslog, 23 August 2012,  http://www.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/23/girl-army-fights-back&view=comments

Sample, Ian, @iansample, "Aliens may destroy humanity to protect other civilisations, say scientists. Rising greenhouse emissions could tip off aliens that we are a rapidly expanding threat, warns a report." _The Guardian_ , guardian.co.uk, @guardian, 18 August 2011,  http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2011/aug/18/aliens-destroy-humanity-protect-civilisations

Sargeant, Emma, sidewalk conversation, Capitol Hill, Seattle, 11 June 2013. There was also a follow-up conversation in Caffé Vita on Capitol Hill when she named three British television shows, 10 July 2013.

Sartre, Jean-Paul, _Huis-clos_ , a play that translates as No Exit, first performed in Paris in May 1944. Paris was not liberated until August of that year. The play was not censored by the Nazis. Cited here in reference to a line from the play, "L'enfer, c'est les autres," which translates as "Hell is other people."

Sartre, Jean-Paul, _The Words_ , the autobiography of the first ten years of his life. Written when Sartre was 59. Published in French in 1963. Original title: _Les Mots_. First published in English in 1964, translated by Bernard Frechtman.

Sassen, Saskia, "New York City's two global geographies of talk," in _NYTE – new york talk exchange_ , sens _able_ city lab, MIT Press, 2008, page 10.

Sasso, Brendan, @BrendanSasso, "Snowden disputes Feinstein claim that NSA spying isn't 'surveillance,'" _The Hill_ , @thehill, 24 October 2013,  http://thehill.com/blogs/hillicon-valley/technology/330497-snowden-fires-back-at-feinstein-over-surveillance-claim

Scahill, Jeremy, @jeremyscahill, and Greenwald, Glenn, @ggreenwald, "The NSA's Secret Role in the U.S. Assassination Program," _The Intercept_ , @the_intercept, 10 February 2014,  https://firstlook.org/theintercept/article/2014/02/10/the-nsas-secret-role/

Scales, Robert H, "A war the Pentagon doesn't want," _Washington Post_ , @washingtonpost, opinion section, 5 September 2013,  http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/us-military-planners-dont-support-war-with-syria/2013/09/05/10a07114-15bb-11e3-be6e-dc6ae8a5b3a8_story.html

Schneier, Bruce, @Bruce_Schneier, "Pseudonymity," on his blog: _Schneier on Security - A blog covering security and security technology_ , 22 August 2011,

 https://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2011/08/pseudonymity.html

Schnoebelen, Tyler, @TSchnoebelen, "HOW DO YOUR FINGERS LAUGH?" Graphic posted for Idibon, @idibon, 12 August 2013, http://ow.ly/i/2RirG/origin \- Larger image: http://ow.ly/i/2RirG/original Those are Schnoebelen's shortened URLs.

Schnoebelen, Tyler, @TSchnoebelen, "The funny thing about repetition," _Idibon.com_ , @idibon, 12 August 2013, http://idibon.com/twitter-repeats/

Schroeder, Alice, @aliceschroeder, "The Danger of Living on Bread and Circuses: Alice Schroeder," _Bloomberg News_ , @BloombergNews, 2 June 2011,  http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-06-02/the-danger-of-living-on-bread-and-circuses-alice-schroeder.html

Schuller, Robert H., _The Be-Happy Attitudes_ , W Publishing Group, 1994.

Schwartz, Tony, @tonyschwartz, "For Real Productivity, Less is Truly More," _HBR Blog Network_ of the _Harvard Biz Review_ , @HarvardBiz, 17 May 2010,  http://blogs.hbr.org/schwartz/2010/05/for-real-productivity-less-is.html

Scroll Staff, @scroll_in, "Five pieces of evidence offered by fundamentalist group against Doniger's Hinduism book — Author's "approach is that of a woman hungry of sex" petitioners claim," _Scroll.in_ , @scroll_in, 12 February 2014,  http://scroll.in/article/five-piece-of-evidence-offered-by-fundamentalist-group-against-donigers-hinduism-book?id=656130

Scroll Staff, @scroll_in, "Only one of India's top five parties holds free internal elections. Guess which?" _Scroll.in_ @scroll_in,  https://news.scroll.in/article/only-one-of-indias-top-five-parties-holds-free-internal-elections-guess-which?id=654003

Seattle Art Museum, @iheartSAM, "Elles:pompidou; Elles: Women Artists from the Centre Pompidou, Paris," as viewed on 24 December 2012.

Senate Select Committee on Intelligence, "Committee Study of the Central Intelligence Agency's Detention and Interrogation Program," unclassified version released on 9 December 2014, 500 pages,  http://www.intelligence.senate.gov/study2014/executive-summary.pdf

Seward, Zachary M., @zseward, "Twitter boosts its privacy cred with its absence from the NSA's surveillance program," _Quartz_ , @qz, 6 June 2013,  http://qz.com/91889/twitter-boosts-its-privacy-cred-with-its-absence-from-the-nsas-surveillance-program/

Seward, Zachary M., @zseward, "The first-ever hashtag, @-reply and retweet, as Twitter users invented them," _Quartz_ , @qz, 15 October 2013,  http://qz.com/135149/the-first-ever-hashtag-reply-and-retweet-as-twitter-users-invented-them/

Shakil, Marya, @maryashakil "BJP asks Centre to arrest homosexual partners of US diplomats," _IBN Live_ (CNN-IBN), @ibnlive, 18 December 2013,  http://ibnlive.in.com/news/bjp-asks-centre-to-arrest-homosexual-partners-of-us-diplomats/440124-3.html

Sharpe, Gene, _The Politics of Nonviolent Action_ , Boston: Porter Sargent, 1973. This is a three-volume work. Only the first volume is referenced here, _Power and Struggle_ , Boston: Porter Sargent, 1973.

Shaw, George Bernard, _Pygmalion_ , a play first produced in 1912. It was adapted into the musical _My Fair Lady_ in 1956 and into a film by the same name in 1964. Shaw was awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1925, thanks in part to the play. A 1938 film version of Pygmalion won Shaw an Oscar at the Academy Awards that year for best adapted screenplay, making him the only person yet to win both an Oscar and a Nobel Prize.

Sheizaf, Noam, @nsheizaf, "Defending the NSA leaks || Glenn Greenwald to Haaretz: Why whistleblower Snowden came to me. How a meeting with a young computer expert in Hong Kong changed the life of a Guardian journalist," _Haaretz_ , @haaretzcom, 21 September 2013,  http://www.haaretz.com/weekend/magazine/.premium-1.547506 On 31 July 2014 this article was found to be behind a paywall.

Shekhar, Raj, @toi_rajJ, "Viscera report deepens Sunanda Pushkar's death mystery," _Times of India_ , @timesofindia, 24 March 2014,  http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Viscera-report-deepens-Sunanda-Pushkars-death-mystery/articleshow/32574289.cms

Shelley, Mary, _Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus_ , first published anonymously in London by Lackington, Hughes, Harding, Mavor, & Jones in 1818.

Shields, David, @_DavidShields, _Reality Hunger: A Manifesto_ , Alfred A. Knopf, 2010,  http://davidshields.com/books/reality-hunger-a-manifesto/

Sieff, Kevin, @ksieff, "In Afghanistan, interpreters who helped U.S. in war denied visas; U.S. says they face no threat," The Washington Post, @washingtonpost, 10 November 2013,  http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/in-afghanistan-interpreters-who-helped-us-in-war-denied-visas-us-says-they-face-no-threat/2013/11/10/af7acfc8-4180-11e3-b028-de922d7a3f47_story.html

Silver, James, @jimsilveresq, "Is Wall Street Full of Psychopaths?" _The Atlantic Magazine_ , @TheAtlantic, 29 March 2012,  http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2012/03/is-wall-street-full-of-psychopaths/254944/

Silverman, Rachel Emma, "No More Angling for the Best Seat; More Meetings Are Stand-Up Jobs," _The Wall Street Journal_ , @WSJ, 2 February 2012,  http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052970204652904577193460472598378 Subtitle: "Companies Ban Sitting to Speed Things Up; Ralph the Chicken Decides Next Speaker."

Sinha, Chinki, @chinkis, "Match Not Found - Confessions of a serial matrimony seeker," _Open Magazine_ , @Openthemag, 22 September 2012,  http://www.openthemagazine.com/article/true-life/match-not-found

Smith, Vincent A., _The Oxford History of India_ , edited by Percival Spear, fourth edition, Oxford University Press, Chennai India, 1981, page 76, which is in the book's part I, chapter 3. Part I was revised by Mortimer Wheeler and A.L. Basham. Chapter 3 is titled: "The pre-Maurya states; the rise of Jainism and Buddhism; the invasion of Alexander the Great; India in the fourth century B.C."

Snowden, Edward, @Snowden, remarks he made at the presentation of the Integrity Award from the Sam Adams Associates for Integrity in Intelligence. The award was presented at a small ceremony in Moscow on 9 October 2013. Found on: "Video: Edward Snowden wins Sam Adams award," _WikiLeaks_ , @wikileaks, 11 October 2013,  http://wikileaks.org/Video-Edward-Snowden-wins-Sam.html

Snowden, Edward, @Snowden, "Alternative Christmas Message," _Channel 4_ , ‏@Channel4, 25 December 2013,  http://www.channel4.com/programmes/alternative-christmas-message This two-minute video was broadcast on 25 December 2013 as Channel 4's Alternative Christmas Message, an annual broadcast that the independent British television channel has aired since 1993 in a format similar to the Christmas Message issued each Christmas by the reigning British Monarch.

Spielberg, Steven, director, _Jurassic Park_ , movie released in 1993. Based on a 1990 novel of the same name by Michael Crichton.

Sruthijith KK, @sruthijith ^186.68] "The Times of India just instituted a bizarre Twitter and Facebook policy," _Quartz_ , @qz [^186.69] 26 August 2014, [ http://qz.com/253025/the-times-of-india-just-instituted-a-bizarre-twitter-and-facebook-policy/

Sruthijith KK, @sruthijith ^186.70] "The Times of India's new contract to journalists: Giving up personal tweets is "in YOUR interest"" _Quartz_ , @qz [^186.71] 27 August 2014, [ http://qz.com/256794/the-times-of-indias-new-contract-to-journalists-giving-up-personal-tweets-is-in-your-interest/

Sterling, Bruce, @bruces, _Love Is Strange (A Paranormal Romance)_ , _40k_ , 22 December 2012, http://www.40kbooks.com/?p=13713

Stephenson, Neal, @nealstephenson, _Snow Crash_ , Bantam Books (USA), 1992.

Stiglitz, Joseph E., @JosephEStiglitz, "Equal Opportunity, Our National Myth," _The New York Times_ , @nytimes, 'The Opinionator' section,  http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/02/16/equal-opportunity-our-national-myth/ Part of 'The Great Divide' series on inequality.

Subversive Action Films, _The Chicago Conspiracy_ , first released in Santiago, Chile in 2009 by SubversiveActionFilms.org. There are Spanish and English versions of the film, with the English version subtitled when Spanish is spoken. Spanish title: _La Conspiración de Chicago_. In May 2014 it was found to be available free online:  http://www.subversiveactionfilms.org/2011/03/02/streaming/

Sweet, Henry, _Anglo-Saxon Primer, With Grammar_ , first published in 1882. This book remains in print and is available free online. Recommended by Aubrey Birdwell.

Taflinger, Richard F., _Taking Advantage: Consumer Psychology and Advertising_ , Kendall Hunt Publishing, 2011.

Tarantino, Quentin, director and co-author, _Pulp Fiction_ , 1994. Roger Avary was the screenplay's other author.

Taranto, James, @jamestaranto "The Rules of Attraction - Science illuminates the differences between the sexes," _Wall Street Journal_ , @WSJ, 14 February 2013,  http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424127887324162304578304052148043138

Tarar, Mehr, @MehrTarar, "Blog: I wish Tharoors happily ever after, says Pakistani journalist," _NDTV_ , @ndtv, 16 January 2014,  http://www.ndtv.com/article/blog/blog-i-wish-tharoors-happily-ever-after-says-pakistani-journalist-471907

Tauber, Todd, @toddtauber, "If MBAs are useless, we're all in big trouble," _Quartz_ @qz, 29 April 2013,  http://qz.com/79042/if-mbas-are-obsolete-were-all-in-big-trouble/

Tayler, Letta, @lettatayler, _"Between a Drone and Al-Qaeda" The Civilian Cost of US Targeted Killings in Yemen_ , Human Rights Watch, @hrw, 22 October 2013,  http://www.hrw.org/reports/2013/10/22/between-drone-and-al-qaeda-0 The title of the report begins with a quotation, hence the unusual punctuation at the beginning of the name of the report.

Taylor, Paul D., "Hipsters, Irony, Deconstruction," section of a handwritten letter sent to Anthony Mitchell. Begun at noon on a Saturday, 16 November 2013. The entire section is quoted.

Taylor, Paul D., telephone interview 26 January 2015. The citation number [^186.82] was added late and is out of sequence here. In a telephone conversation on 9 August 2015, he contributed a quote about English as a trade language, along with another quote about 'normal' in statistics, and a third quote about the popularity that year of old Eurotrash-style clothing. None of those three quotes are accompanied by citation numbers or other citation information because the quotes were added late.

Tetraodontid – Contributed to the description of citizen-band radios in an interview on Capitol Hill, Seattle, on 12 October 2014 [^186.72]. Interviewed on 13 October 2014 [^186.73] on the importance of self-assigned names as _use names_. Quotes reviewed and approved on 16 October 2014 [^186.74]. Tetraodontidae is the family name of the blowfish.

The Economist, "Drones over Pakistan - Drop the pilot - A surprising number of Pakistanis are in favour of drone strikes," _The Economist_ , @TheEconomist, 19 October 2013,  http://www.economist.com/news/asia/21588142-surprising-number-pakistanis-are-favour-drone-strikes-drop-pilot

The Economist, "Europe and American spooks: Controlled anger," _The Economist_ , @TheEconomist, 25 October 2013,  http://www.economist.com/blogs/charlemagne/2013/10/europe-and-american-spooks

The Onion, @TheOnion, "Recession-Plagued Nation Demands New Bubble To Invest In," _The Onion_ , issue 44•29, 14 July 2008,  http://www.theonion.com/articles/recessionplagued-nation-demands-new-bubble-to-inve,2486/

therumpus.net, "DEAR SUGAR, The Rumpus Advice Column #64: Tiny Beautiful Things," _therumpus.net_ , 10 February 2011,  http://therumpus.net/2011/02/dear-sugar-the-rumpus-advice-column-64/

Tiger, Lionel, _Men in Groups_ , Nelson, 1969.

Tillerson, Rex W., remarks published in: "The New North American Energy Paradigm: Reshaping the Future. Speaker: Rex W. Tillerson, Chairman and CEO, Exxon Mobil Corporation," transcript, _Council on Foreign Relations_ , @CFR_org, 27 June 2012,  http://www.cfr.org/united-states/new-north-american-energy-paradigm-reshaping-future/p28630

Timberg, Craig, @craigtimberg, and Nakashima, Ellen, @nakashimae, "FBI's search for 'Mo,' suspect in bomb threats, highlights use of malware for surveillance," _Washington Post_ , @washingtonpost, 6 December 2013,  http://www.washingtonpost.com/business/technology/fbis-search-for-mo-suspect-in-bomb-threats-highlights-use-of-malware-for-surveillance/2013/12/06/352ba174-5397-11e3-9e2c-e1d01116fd98_print.html

Timms, Edward, _Karl Kraus: Apocalyptic Satirist: The Post-War Crisis and the Rise of the Swastika_ , Yale University Press paperback, 2 August 2005.

Tocqueville, Count Alexis [Charles Henri Maurice Clérel] de, _De la Démocratie en Amérique_ , volume I, 1835; volume II, 1840; English title: Democracy in America.

Tripathi, Salil, @saliltripathi, _Offence: The Hindu Case_ , Seagull Books, 2009. In his book, Salil Tripathi argues in favor of free speech and against extremism

Tsotsis, Alexia, @alexia, "The Phone Call Is Dead," _TechCrunch_ , @TechCrunch, 13 November 2010, http://techcrunch.com/2010/11/13/alexia-phone-home/

Turtle, Richard, conversations on science fiction and zombies in popular culture. When asked, "How would you like the bibliography to refer to you?" he replied, "Gnomish tinker." Turtle reviewed the book's manuscript sections on science fiction and zombies in September 2012. He was interviewed with Nicholas DeGeorge on the subject of _Star Wars_ on 3 October 2012.

Tye, John Napier, "Meet Executive Order 12333: The Reagan rule that lets the NSA spy on Americans," _Washington Post_ , opinion section, 18 July 2014,  http://m.washingtonpost.com/opinions/meet-executive-order-12333-the-reagan-rule-that-lets-the-nsa-spy-on-americans/2014/07/18/93d2ac22-0b93-11e4-b8e5-d0de80767fc2_story.html

Uglow, Jenny, chapter, _A Gambling Man, Charles II's Restoration Game_ , New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2009, chapter 20 - "Performance," pages 272-286. Also chapter 36, "Sweet Ladies," pages 464-474.

United States Central Intelligence Agency, _The World Factbook_ , "Country Comparison :: Taxes and other revenues," webpage and data table accessed on 12 July 2014,  https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/rankorder/2221rank.html

University of Pennsylvania Graduate School of Education, "Penn GSE Study Shows MOOCs Have Relatively Few Active Users, With Only a Few Persisting to Course End," 5 December 2013,  http://www.gse.upenn.edu/pressroom/press-releases/2013/12/penn-gse-study-shows-moocs-have-relatively-few-active-users-only-few-persisti

University of Virginia Women's Center, _Body Positive_ website, 24 August 2012, http://womenscenter.virginia.edu/body-positive.php

_Urban Dictionary_ , @urbandictionary, online at UrbanDictionary.com.

"Friendscaping" entry cited by Jeremiah Owyang ‏@jowyang on 17 November 2013:  https://twitter.com/jowyang/status/402038994487083008

"INAD" entry posted by Tristan on UrbanDictionary.com on 20 March 2005:  http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=INAD&defid=1132420

"kennel syndrome" definition posted by Tristan in 2005. It was quickly taken down but in 2012 was found to have been restored:  http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Kennel%20Syndrome&defid=1552659

Valcour, Monique, @moniquevalcour, "The Ripple Effects You Create as a Manager," _Harvard Business Review_ blog network, @HarvardBiz, 7 May 2013,  http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2013/05/the_ripple_effects_you_create.html

Valentino-Devries, Jennifer, @jenvalentino, and Gorman, Siobhan, @Gorman_Siobhan, "What You Need to Know on New Details of NSA Spying," _The Wall Street Journal_ , @WSJ, 20 August 2013,  http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887324108204579025222244858490.html?mod=wsj_share_tweet \- On 16 December 2013 this article was found to have been moved behind the WSJ's paywall.

Varadarajan, Siddharth, @svaradarajan ^186.75] "These recommendations by the broadcast regulator are an indictment of Indian media," _Scroll.in_ , @scroll_in [^186.76] 18 August 2014, [ http://scroll.in/article/674395/These-recommendations-by-the-broadcast-regulator-are-an-indictment-of-Indian-media This article originally appeared as: "These recommendations by the broadcast regulator are an indictment of Indian media," by Siddharth Varadarajan, Quartz, @qz, 14 August 2014:  http://qz.com/249407/these-recommendations-by-the-broadcast-regulator-are-an-indictment-of-indian-media/

Vlad, Florica, @florica, "Yoko Ono Cut Piece," on Florica Vlad's Wordpress blog, 11 September 2007,  https://florica.wordpress.com/2007/09/11/yoko-ono-cut-piece/

Voltaire, _Le dîner du comte de Boulainvilliers (1767): Deuxième Entretien._ Voltaire is the pen name of François-Marie Arouet, 21 November 1694 – 30 May 1778.

Vonnegut, Kurt, _Slaughterhouse-Five, or The Children's Crusade_ , Delacorte, 1969.

Walsh, Declan, @declanwalsh, "In a Troubled Country, Still Time for High Society," _The New York Times_ @nytimes, 24 June 2012,  https://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/25/world/asia/in-a-troubled-country-still-time-for-high-society.html

Walsh, Declan, @declanwalsh, "Fans Worry After Pakistan Twitter Star Goes Off Line," _The New York Times_ , @nytimes, 22 August 2012,  https://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/23/world/asia/pakistan-twitter-star-goes-off-line-and-fans-worry.html

Walter, Greg, @2TallGreg, animator, "What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains Epipheo.TV]," _Epipheo_ , @epipheo, 6 May 2013, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKaWJ72x1rI \- The video animation summarizes ideas from this book: _The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains_ , by Nicholas Carr, @roughtype, W. W. Norton & Company, paperback, 6 June 2011.

Walton, Fred, director, _When a Stranger Calls_ , film released in the US by Columbia Pictures on 26 October 1979.

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Watzlawick, Paul; and Weakland, John H; and Fisch, Richard; _Change: Principles of Problem Formation and Problem Resolution_ , W.W. Norton, 1974. Watzlawick died in 2007, Weakland in 1995. Their book is referred to here as Watzlawick, Weakland & Fisch.

Weston, Mark, @markweston19, _The Ringtone and the Drum: Travels in the World's Poorest Countries_ , Zero Books, 16 October 2012.

Whyte, Rebecca, director & producer, and Naylor, William, series producer, "Series 14, Mods, Rockers and Bank Holiday Mayhem," _Timeshift_ , BBC television, first shown on 26 May 2014,  http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b044yw1d/timeshift-series-14-1-mods-rockers-and-bank-holiday-mayhem

Wikileaks.org, @wikileaks, "RAHUL GANDHI: LACKLUSTER LEADER," secret cable, date: 3 March 2005. Canonical ID: 05NEWDELHI1661_a - URL:  http://www.wikileaks.org/plusd/cables/05NEWDELHI1661_a.html

_Wikipedia_ , @Wikipedia. Wikipedia articles and the dates accessed:

"Anonymous (group)," 20 February 2014, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anonymous_%28group%29

"Aphorisms," 21 January 2012, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aphorism

"Boden Professor of Sanskrit election, 1860," 6 August 2013,  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boden_Professor_of_Sanskrit_election,_1860

"Fantasy," December 2014,

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fantasy

"George Foreman Grill," 20 August 2012, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Foreman_Grill

"Height discrimination," 26 September 2013, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Height_discrimination

"Irony punctuation," 10 November 2013, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irony_mark

"Kleptocracy," 18 September 2013, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kleptocracy

Wittgenstein, Ludwig, _Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus_ , 1922.

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Wollstonecraft, Mary, _A Vindication of the Rights of Woman: with Strictures on Political and Moral Subjects_ , 1792.

Wong Kar-wai, writer and director, _2046_ , film distributed in North America by Sony Pictures Classics, 2004.

Wordsworth, William, preface to _Lyrical Ballads_ , 1800. Accessed on 9 June 2014 on: http://www.bartleby.com/39/36.html

Worsley, Lucy, presenter, "Harlots, Housewives and Heroines: A 17th Century History for Girls - 1. Act One: At Court," _BBC Four_ ; Emma Hindley, executive producer; Nick Gillam-Smith, series producer and director. The video is 60 minutes long. First shown on 22 May 2012. Retrieved on 21 January 2015.  http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01j2fcq/harlots-housewives-and-heroines-a-17th-century-history-for-girls-1-act-one-at-court \- Harlots, Housewives and Heroines: A 17th Century History for Girls Programme website: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01j83gl

Worsley, Lucy, presenter, "Harlots, Housewives and Heroines: A 17th Century History for Girls - 3. Act Three: At Work and At Play," _BBC Four_ ; Emma Hindley, executive producer; Nick Gillam-Smith, series producer; Eleanor Scoones director. The video is 60 minutes long. First shown on 5 June 2012. Retrieved on 22 January 2015.  http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01jmt5t/harlots-housewives-and-heroines-a-17th-century-history-for-girls-3-act-three-at-work-and-at-play \- Harlots, Housewives and Heroines: A 17th Century History for Girls Programme website: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01j83gl

Wortham, Jenna, @jennydeluxe, "The Human Behind a Favorite Spambot, Horse_eBooks," _The New York Times_ , @nytimes, 24 September 2013, http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/author/jenna-wortham/ Wortham profiles Jacob Bakkila, who took over the @Horse_eBooks account on Twitter in 2011. Jenna Wortham also co-wrote: "Oprah's First Words on Twitter: 'HI TWITTERS'" by Vindu Goel and Jenna Wortham, _The New York Times_ , 17 April 2009,  http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/04/17/oprahs-first-words-on-twitter-hi-twitters/

York, Jillian C., @jilliancyork "Closed Network — Technology may be redefining our intellectual life, but some things never change—especially for women. A response to Henry Farrell." _Democracy Journal_ , @DemJournal, Issue #31, winter 2014, 11 December 2013,  http://www.democracyjournal.org/31/closed-network.php

zacislost

Post #963547524 [^186.79] on CurseBird.com, auto-posted on CurseBird.com on 17 October 2008. No Twitter ID was found on 20 July 2014 for zacislost. No record of this post appearing as a tweet was found on 20 July 2014. No record of zacislost's utterance (or one with similar language, as it might have appeared in the movie Trainspotting) was found on Google Search on 20 July 2014.

Zahra-Malik, Mehreen, @mehreenzahra, "Hope is not a winning strategy," _The News International_ , @thenews_intl, 10 October 2012,  http://www.thenews.com.pk/Todays-News-9-136753-Hope-is-not-a-winning-strategy

Zola, Emile, _Germinal_ , a realist novel first published in France in 1885.

Latecomers that appear out of sequence above:

186.80 and 186.81 is in the entry above for Guzmán, Mónica.

186.82 is in the second entry for Taylor, Paul D.

186.83 and 186.84 are in the entry for Khoury, Nabeel.

186.85-186.92 are by Der Kosmonaut above, plus in-sequence cites: 186.18-186.35.

186.93 is in the entry above for Messerschmidt, Courtney.

186.94 and 186.95 are in the entry for McIntosh, Jonathan.

186.96 is in the entry above for Poole, Chris "moot," @moot,.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

#  187. Acknowledgements

The idea for this book originated from the appearance of Gigi Ibrahim @Gsquare86 with Jon Stewart on the Daily Show @TheDailyShow on 26 April 2011. Gigi Ibrahim and Jon Stewart discussed the anthology: _Tweets from Tahrir: Egypt's Revolution as it Unfolded, in the Words of the People Who Made it_.

Omar Remoquillo (trgkfshnt@yahoo.com) ^187.1] created the anime cover art and was a study-buddy throughout this book's creation. Omar is available for custom artwork. His portfolio ID on DeviantArt.com is ghstkatt, which means ghost cat: [http://ghstkatt.deviantart.com/

Manuscript reviews and suggestions for improvement were graciously provided by Nicholas DeGeorge [^187.2], Tara Lee @_LaPeligrosa [^187.3], Richard Turtle [^187.4], Hudson [^187.5], Gabie [^187.6], NOmad Red Owl [^187.7], Scott Davis @BrekkeBlacksmth [^187.8], Christopher Wishing [^187.9] (a poet from Brooklyn who suggested that more commas be employed throughout), and Zachary Sofia [^187.10], who upon encountering the beginning of the manuscript, exclaimed, "Tighten it up!"

Many thanks to these current and former faculty and instructors in the Rutgers University English department for their intellectual generosity and awesome teaching: Ronald Christ, William D. Lutz, Geoffrey Sill, James Moffatt, and David S. Reynolds (subsequently at CUNY). Thanks also to these four former Rutgers students and peer role models: Edna Adler Bauman, Paul D. Taylor, Diane S. Aronson and Ken Serrano. For mentoring, special thanks to Jon Van Til, professor emeritus of urban studies and community planning at Rutgers University, Camden.

This book was written by and for global audiences. This would have been impossible without the following individuals and organizations, whose work is sometimes conducted at great personal risk. Without them, government censorship and bans on social media would have deprived this anthology of essential material.

The people of Bytes for All, @bytesforall: Shahzad Ahmad @sirkup, Furhan Hussain @FurhanHussain and many others.

The people of Bolo Bhi @BoloBhi: Sana Saleem @sanasaleem, Farieha Aziz @FariehaAziz, Jehan Ara @jehan_ara, Madiha Latif @madiha_latifof, and Usama Khilji @UsamaKhilji.

Nighat Dad @nighatdad of the Digital Rights Foundation, @DigitalRightsPK.

Badar Khushnood @badar76 and William Fitzgerald @william_fitz – while both worked for Google.

Rebecca MacKinnon @rmack of Global Voices Online, @globalvoices, GlobalVoicesOnline.org.

This book is dedicated my father, Robert Edward Mitchell, the funniest person I know.

Last but not least, thanks and best wishes to everyone quoted here. Anthropologists from the future will ponder your words, emotions, ideas and values.

RETURN TO THE BEGINNING OF VOLUME TWO

❦

