- I'll get you for this, if
it's the last thing I do.
- TikTok, TikTok, TikTok, TikTok,
TikTok, TikTok, TikTok, TikTok,
TikTok, TikTok, TikTok, TikTok
TikTok, TikTok, TikTok, TikTok.
Oh, that one was bad.
Today I am giving this Kamala
democratic nomination thing.
I'm here for you people.
You know?
Y'all probably don't.
Caught the end of that speech,
I was trying to watch Big Brother.
Part three, here we go.
Y'all know what I'm doing,
if you don't know what I'm doing,
go watch the other parts
then come back to this one.
Stop being weird.
Give me some views, don't be selfish.
My list is running empty,
but I still haven't added on to it,
since you guys have been
commenting up a (beep) storm.
Wait, excuse me, sorry, can't
cuss in the first like minute.
Since you guys have been
commenting up a TikTok storm.
Quick update, it is currently
over 100 degrees right now
in Los Angeles.
So my air conditioner is
staying on, get used to it.
Second, I am currently very, very sore.
I am starting to at home workout
with my yoga mat and medicine ball,
and my little weights in the background.
I don't think I'm gonna
stand as much in this video.
I'm joking, I'm joking.
Can't stop me.
Yeah.
TikTok!
Makeup TikTok, that's a given, right?
We got that.
Do we have that?
Actually, wait a minute.
At first I'm thinking
like, oh, foundation,
oh, James Charles.
Who else?
And now someone wants to cut grass.
Now someone wants to cut
grass when I am filming
right outside my window.
Hello?
Yep, yep, yep, yep.
What do you know, there he is.
♪ Five, six ♪
- Ah, it's music.
Listen, the reason why reacting to TikTok
is such a hesitation for
people on the YouTube,
y'all use music that we can not showcase.
I'm just sitting here, enjoying my life,
reacting to TikTok, suddenly
I'm getting a strike,
suddenly my videos are
not allowed to be played
in certain countries,
suddenly complete seconds of my video
are just going completely mute.
We ain't doing that this video, okay?
Figuring it out.
Five, six.
Ah, ah, ah.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Money look, let me see them lips.
Oh, yes, yes.
Yes, James.
You know we used to be Twitter mutuals?
But then y'all bullied
me into unfollowing him
and then I felt so bad so
I tried to refollow him
and then he never followed me back,
so now I just lost my
mutual with James Charles,
because y'all mean sometimes.
Wow, yes, spray that.
Oh.
Eyes, lips, face, wait.
I don't know about that hair, actually.
No shade, but with that lighting, girl,
that wig was a wig, you know what I mean?
That light really showed those fly aways.
Maybe you need to spray
it down a little bit more,
but those fly aways are just like, what?
They were like, it's humid in here.
Wait, there she is.
Charlie D'Amelio.
D'Amelio?
How do you--
Okay, I'm sorry.
Not me, not knowing how to
pronounce other people's names
'cause my middle name is fucking Ockle.
Machaizelli Ockle, okay.
♪ You're a jerk ♪
- Ah, it's music again! (yelling)
Y'all don't make it easy,
like I get it, like I get
that's what TikTok is,
but like a bitch trying to make some money
during this quarantine, okay?
We running out.
The well's going empty.
Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.
Wow.
You're a jerk.
Wow.
Wow.
Do me a favor, call me jerk one more time.
Wow.
Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.
♪ Hey, Barbie ♪
♪ Hi, Ken ♪
♪ Wanna go for a ride ♪
♪ Sure, Ken ♪
♪ Jump in ♪
- Okay.
♪ I'm a Barbie girl ♪
- Ah, music.
Ah, that's a song.
Wow.
♪ It's fantastic ♪
♪ You can brush my hair ♪
♪ Come on, Barbie, let's go party ♪
♪ I'm a blonde bimbo girl
in the fantasy world ♪
♪ Dress me up, make it
tight, I'm your dolly ♪
♪ Not your Barbie girl ♪
♪ I'm living in my own world ♪
- What?
♪ I ain't plastic ♪
- What is happening?
♪ Call me classic ♪
- Okay, okay.
What happened?
What was the journey?
What went on?
What was the story?
Who directed it?
Was it Michael Bay?
It was Michael Bay, wasn't it?
Transition TikTok.
What?
That could mean so many
different things, so broad.
Here she goes again, why not?
Why not?
This is just all about her now.
Charlie damn elio.
I don't--
Oh, oh.
Oh.
Oh, wow.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa, wait, pause for a second.
Devil.
Devil.
What was that?
Oh my gosh.
Oh, oh, whoa.
Okay, okay, and then it ends.
And then it just starts
from the beginning.
How did she do that?
How did she do that?
What talents do you hold in your life?
Might be the last time
I can yank off my head.
What, what, what?
Oh, because of the TikTok ban, okay, okay.
I thought she was like dying.
(demonic laughing)
Okay, we're done with this.
Croc Tok.
Please be about Crocs.
I don't give a shit about crocodiles.
I wanna see some Crocs.
People putting beans in Crocs.
Is that what this is?
That's what this is.
And it is!
It's about Crocs.
You can't make this up.
- Welcome to Croc Tok, you
made it, baby, congratulations.
- Oh, thank you.
I didn't know it was a special
occasion to make it here.
- Here on Croc Tok we
care about two things,
Crocs and (beep).
Oh wait, that's stupid.
- That's not stupid, bitch, me too.
Do I look stupid to you?
Don't answer that.
- Here on Croc Tok, we
care about two things,
Crocs, and Crocs, and cock.
- (laughs) That's better.
- There are two types of Croc owners,
the Chad and the virgin.
- Oh my god.
- Only you get to decide
which Croc owner you become.
The most important thing
about Croc Tok though,
never judge someone based
on their Jibbitz, okay?
Just because I only have one Jibbit
doesn't make me less of a human.
- Jiblit?
What's a jiblit?
That sounds wrong to me, I don't--
- Croc Tok is invite only.
Make sure you only invite
your coolest friends.
- Okay.
Wow.
I don't even wanna look
at the other TikToks
in this category, I think
that was just it for me.
That was enough.
Ferret TikTok.
We already know.
We already know.
- [TikToker] It's bath time.
- Here they are.
Here it is.
- [TikToker] Swim, swim swim.
- Oh my god.
Oh my god!
- Scrub time.
- Oh my god, look at it!
It's a noodle of a thing.
You know they're illegal
to have in my state?
I mean, that doesn't stop some people,
but I'm not really
trying to break the law.
If you see what happens to people like me
that break the law, I don't
wanna break the law, okay?
You know what I mean?
I'm just saying there's
some types of people
that give more forgiven than other types
that break similar laws.
And I am on that end.
So I don't tend to break the
law, okay, great, moving on.
"Hamilton" TikTok.
I'm moving down this list fast.
I said I got things.
I said I am emotionally stressed
and I'm doing this video
to calm myself down.
I don't wanna talk about that.
We're just gonna go back to TikTok.
"Hamilton" TikTok.
How the master fuck me in the ass?
What is the lyric?
- Someone please duet this as Eliza.
- Okay.
♪ Alexander, I came all this way ♪
♪ She came all this way ♪
♪ Take a break ♪
- Yep, okay, great.
They're beautiful singers.
I don't wanna get copywritten.
Literally all of these are
just TikToks from Hamilton's
actually, official TikTok.
Where are the fans?
I need the fan TikToks.
Give me some fan TikToks.
Give me some fan TikToks.
- If you stand for nothing,
Burr, what do you fall for?
♪ Who are you ♪
♪ Who are you ♪
♪ Who are you ♪
♪ Who is this kid, what's he gonna do ♪
♪ I am not throwing away my ♪
- Oop.
Oop.
Oh, it's like a transition or some--
Okay, I get it. (laughs)
Wow, good job, "Hamilton".
You made theater kids across the world
think they have some flow.
Take it back.
Criminal Minds TikTok.
Oh, I wonder if it's about Criminal Minds.
Watch it be about someone
dissecting the minds
of old criminals or some shit.
Please, don't, Tik--
Please, don't go there.
Oh, and yes, it's about Criminal Minds.
Oh!
This one was very highly suggested.
I don't know why.
I did not know people watched this show.
♪ Oh, what a time to be alive ♪
- Wow.
Wow.
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
Let's play it again.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Okay, okay, okay.
Though this pussy may be dripping--
What's the next one?
There's so many of those shows.
Criminal Minds, NCIS, Law and Order: SUV,
Miami Cop, WXY, triangles, I don't know.
POV TikTok.
You already experienced part of this
in the mafia TikTok.
I myself have also dived
into the POV TikTok.
Not seriously.
I know some people on this TikTok
get really serious with it.
I was just trying to figure
out how this app worked.
For example, POV: that white boy acting
like what he thinks is ghetto
based on what he's seen from
the internet all for clout.
Like, bitch, get out of my lane. (laughs)
Oh, shit, shorty, what's
your name, homegirl?
You trying to link up or naw? (laughs)
I'm so ghetto, I'm so ghetto.
Kool-Aid.
Yummy.
Or POV: The Brita filter in my fridge
watching me try to make
a meal out of nothing.
Wow.
But enough of me.
Why don't we look at POV: I'm mocking you
because I know how innocent you are,
but when you convince me otherwise.
♪ So seductive ♪
♪ I'll take you to the candy shop ♪
♪ So take me, baby ♪
- Don't look at me like that.
Get away.
He's probably one of those dick slingers,
you know what I mean?
Barbie TikTok.
Wonder if it's about the dolls.
Please, please, be about the dolls.
Okay.
Whoa, whoa, wait, wait, hold up,
wait, hold up.
Why is she purple?
Why is she purple?
And why is she going in a water tube?
What happened to Barbie.
- [Katie] Here is part two
to which Color Reveal Barbie I got.
- Part two, oh.
- [Katie] These are all
the different Barbies
I could possible get,
but this is the one I want.
- Color Reveal Barbie?
Color Reveal Barbie?
Is that like a guess which race you got?
What?
But you're not really revealing color,
you're taking away the color.
So the color reveal is you
revealing the Barbie's color.
Am I thinking too deep?
- [Katie] I got the popcorn Barbie.
When you put ice cold water on her hair,
it's supposed to change
colors, which it did.
- Oh, oh, oh.
Is that why it's called--
Maybe I should go turn myself in.
- [Katie] Her hair looks a little crazy
from being in the
package, but that's okay.
- Okay, girl, get a better wig.
What the hell is that?
You're telling me
Barbie's been in business
for how many years
and still giving these girls
these cheap ass synthetics?
Come on.
At least have some real weight to it.
I mean, now.
- [Katie] Here is her popcorn skirt.
- Wow, that is a tacky ass looking Barbie.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Gaming TikTok.
Oh, I wonder if it's about
the X, square, triangle,
W, S, Y, D, up, down, side, side,
press R3 to refocus, X for Shaun.
Gaming TikTok, let's go.
Nobody wants the smoke in VR dodge ball.
I don't think we can touch
the smoke, it's just VR.
Oh!
Oh!
(ball smacking)
Work, I guess.
Trying to impress that one
who were watching your stream.
Oh.
Oh.
- Oh my god, oh my god,
he on X Games mode.
- (laughs) This is why I don't
play games like that, okay?
Y'all professionals out here,
making me look like a dumb ass.
I can't play games passed easy, whatever.
Maybe I can, but I choose not to,
because that's too hard.
I'm not trying to get anxious.
I play games to have fun,
I don't play games to
challenge myself, okay?
Life is challenging enough.
Dance TikTok.
Y'all get it.
Okay, but I've already
seen the TikTok dancing.
I've experienced it.
I made an entire video about it.
Do I really have to react to it?
- [Boy] Yes.
- Let's look at serious dancing, okay?
I don't wanna see any of that (exclaims),
you know what I mean?
I wanna see the acrobatic shit.
Give me some flips.
Some oh, work that, bitch, work that shit,
you know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, like this.
See, like this.
Like that, like this.
Look at that, look at that, look at that.
See?
Okay.
I'd like to see TikTokers
try to emulate that.
I'd like to see these TikTokers
try to turn that into a
(exclaims), you know what I mean?
Bartender TikTok.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, girl.
- Tonight I'm gonna teach you
how to make a Long Beach.
Gonna be a half ounce of
vodka, a half ounce of gin.
- Oh, I already know what
a Long Beach is, girl.
I've already been around the block
to understand what's in a Long Beach.
It's not a Long Island, it's a Long Beach,
we don't do soda in California,
we do juice. (laughs)
We gonna let her teach y'all real quick.
- One, two.
Half ounce of triple
sec, half ounce of rum.
One, two.
Ounce of sour.
Nice and shaken, shake, shake,
shake, shake, shake, shake.
- Yes, yes, yes.
- Give it a nice strain.
Splash of cranberry.
- Boom.
- All right, your Long Beach.
- There it goes, Long Beach.
Nothing but alcohol and
then a little bit of juice.
We don't need the fizz,
we just want the buzz.
Okay, okay, okay, all
my alcoholics out there,
stand up.
Embroidery TikTok.
Oh.
Yeah.
Wow, wow, wow, wow,
wow, wow, wow, wow, wow,
wow, wow, wow, wow,
wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
Wow!
Wow!
Y'all get it.
Farm TikTok.
Oh, I hope it's about more
cows attacking each other.
Aw, cute.
Look at these animals.
Look at all these--
Is that a--
Look at all these animals.
Look at all these chickens.
I know they're not chickens.
I know they're not chickens.
That was a Vine I was copying.
I know some of y'all are
too young for that now
and that's weird.
Okay, it hurts my feelings.
Wow.
Oh, look at that.
Look at that, look at them horns.
Making me horny. (laughs)
Why?
Yummy, yummy.
You get it, yes, you get it,
you get it, it's animals.
Here's another pig and his
name is Wilbur apparently.
There you go, that's
it, that is Farm TikTok.
Doctor TikTok?
- [Peter Griffin] Well, I got
the results of your ultrasound
and I got some news for you.
- [Woman] Wait, wait,
wait, we don't wanna know
if it's a boy or a girl.
- [Peter Griffin] Oh okay.
Well, it's not breathing.
- Oh, she said if you have
a baby don't touch the Juul.
Don't touch that blue light blue thing.
Bluey, bluey, I don't
know what it's called.
How do I get a big implant
through a tiny five CM incision?
Okay, okay.
Load it, squeeze it, great, glad to know
how I can get my boobs bigger.
Honestly, shout out to
all the doctors out there.
We're going through a very weird time,
a very weird time.
And some people don't believe
it's real for some reason,
but y'all, y'all being the
real MVPs throughout all this.
All the doctors and
nurses, EMTs out there.
I know y'all stressing.
I know y'all camping out in hotel rooms,
crying to death.
Thank you very much.
That's all I can say.
Glee TikTok, oh no.
Oh no, oh no.
No.
No.
Rating Glee characters, Rachel number two?
Okay, see that's where we stop.
That's where we pause.
That's where we take a second
and analyze that decision,
come to the conclusion that she literally
sent a girl to a crack house
because she didn't want her to audition
and take her own spotlight.
Number two.
Quinn, number six, great.
Kurt, number three, okay.
Artie, number nine, okay.
Finn, number seven, okay.
Mercedes, number four.
Why is Mercedes number four?
Why is Mercedes number four?
Puck, number 10.
Why is Puck number 10?
He shouldn't be on the list, honestly.
Who is number one?
Give me a second.
Number one, Santana.
Yes, okay, great, okay.
Anime TikTok.
Oh.
I keep on saying oh after all of them.
So we already got a bit of that taste
with the Weeb TikTok.
But why not dive into it more?
For you more weeb to weeb about
with your weeby weebsness
on the weebernet. (laughs)
I'm funny.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, okay.
Oh, wow.
Anime food looks delicious.
I wanted to eat a cucumber, bitch.
I don't like cucumbers.
Anime men who would pick
you up and blank you
against the wall during, you know.
Okay, okay, don't know any of these.
Don't know--
Oh.
Don't know that one but I will today.
Grown up?
Okay, so he's a child--
Okay, nevermind, nevermind.
British TikTok.
Okay.
POV: You sat next to the
British Chav in class.
(smacking gum)
- What you staring at?
- Okay.
- Stop chewing?
Um, I didn't know you
were a teacher, mate.
How am I supposed to stop chewing my gum?
I can't just leave it in my mouth, idiot.
I'm not even chewing that loud,
I don't even know what you're on about.
Like, just turn around.
- Okay.
- You keep telling me this.
You don't have asthma,
'cause asthma's not even a real thing.
Go to doctors and get checked
out for something else,
it's not asthma.
Miss, I'm not even chatting.
- Okay, weird.
Is British TikTok just a bunch of people
being extra British?
(upbeat music)
Oh my god, we're done with British TikTok.
August 24th TikTok.
I don't understand.
I got this suggested a few times.
August 24th Tiktok.
And by my calculations,
this video should come out
the day before August 24th,
so please don't scare the shit out of me.
August 24th, 2167, what?
(light music)
Okay.
(ominous music)
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
What?
Okay, when I type it in,
August 27th always comes up.
What is August 24th and August 27th?
I can't say much you
are part of the elite,
remember the color blue, August 27th 2020.
I'll keep you safe.
What?
What is August 27th?
What is happening on August 27th?
Should I be saying that out loud?
Should I not be screaming it?
August 27th is coming soon
and if you're seeing this,
you have been invited.
To what, bitch?
What if I don't wanna come?
I don't know what's happening August 27th,
don't invite me to it, I'm scared.
What do you mean?
August 24th, August 27th,
what's the date, sis?
Why are y'all confusing me?
40 year old TikTok.
Okay, I'm down to see
some daddies real quick.
Doing TikToks at 40 years old.
(knocking)
- [Woman] Steven, what
are you doing in there?
- Drugs.
- Oh, okay.
Daddy too afraid to admit
he does TikTok at 40.
Maybe I shouldn't do this community.
- What?
I'm on TikTok, now you
just need to shut up.
- Oh.
Okay.
- But I got a song you might hear.
- Okay.
- I don't know who's it by,
but all I can sing,
right, or try to sing--
- Okay, what was that?
(child yelling)
- No, that's not the song.
- Okay.
(woman vocalizing)
Okay.
(woman laughs)
She has no top teeth, sis,
come through, gummy mommy.
Oh, oh, da--
Okay, I'm done with this.
I'm done with this.
I'm done with this one,
this one's gonna get me in trouble.
NurseTok.
To accompany Doctor TikTok.
We respect both of them in this video.
- [Girl] I can't take it off,
I can't take it off.
- Take it off.
- I can't.
- Take it off.
- I can't take it off.
- How many masks today?
And another one.
Oh my god, oh my god.
See this is what they gotta do every day
and y'all sitting out here acting like
this shit ain't real.
Y'all really wanna go party?
Y'all really so focused
on your need and urgency
to be partying and socializing
to the point that you're gonna act like
an entire situation is not existing
and not as severe as it truly is,
because y'all wanna fucking party?
Y'all wanna show off your fucking clout?
So y'all gonna act like people
aren't dying in the world?
You selfish pieces of shit.
Okay, I'm sorry.
These people out here wearing 25 masks,
probably 15 hour shifts
and y'all can't even wear a
mask to the grocery store?
Y'all walk into a 7-Eleven,
they tell you to put on a mask,
and it's suddenly the end of the world?
Who is the weak ones in this world, truly?
Let's look at that.
Note to nurses, never say the Q word.
What?
- Hey, Becky, I just wanted
to check in with you.
Are you doing okay?
Do you need anything?
Who me?
No, I'm fine.
It's actually kind of quiet today.
- [Man Over Intercom]
Code blue, fourth floor.
- Oh my gosh, it got busy.
- Okay, I'ma do two more
and then I'ma call this a video.
Childhood TraumaTok.
Yes, I said that right.
Most people with childhood trauma
think they had a good childhood.
Of course, because all children
have Stockholm Syndrome.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
(truck beeping)
That truck is agreeing to me too.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
- Here are five things from my childhood
that traumatized me.
- Great.
- Leading the pack at number five,
The Flintstones vitamins,
you know the ones that
tasted like fucking chalk.
If I wanted to bite a brick,
I could just go outside and do it myself.
If you had to eat these as a kid,
you're probably immune to coronavirus now.
(Mac laughs)
The Taco Bell coin drop game,
one of the biggest fucking
scams in the world.
I do not know a single
person who won a free taco.
Not only was I losing a quarter
and all of my hopes and dreams,
I was also getting food
that was gonna make me explosively shit.
- Why is that true?
- Then at number three,
we have this scary fucking ghost
from Courage the Cowardly Dog.
I mean, just look at him.
He has childhood trauma
written all over him.
I don't know why my parents
let me watch this show,
'cause I had nightmares
about him for weeks.
- Yes.
- Taking the top spot is the Wii Fit.
Every time I stepped
on this piece of shit,
it would say ow, and
then precede to tell me,
a 10 year old, that I was obese.
Somebody needs to tell this girl
to stop lying to us and
that's on body image issues.
- True, true, point blank, period.
And finally, we're gonna end
this on Willy Wonka TikTok.
I don't know either.
I'm not surprised at this point.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, this surprised me.
Oh, okay.
Sis, what?
Why is Willy Wonka making me feel things?
And why am I okay with
that for some reason?
Hello?
Dead ass there's an entire TikTok page
of this guy dressed up as
Willy Wonka humping the air.
Honestly, I allow it.
If you're gonna swang that dick,
you might as well do it in style.
That's what I say.
And no one beats style than
Willy motherfucking Wonka.
Yep, there you go.
There it is.
There it is, there it is, there he is.
Just living his life, just
living his absolute best life.
Grinding all up on that chocolate factory.
He owns a chocolate factory, sis.
Maybe I got a chance.
Wait, one more, one more.
I can't get over this.
- Greetings.
- Hello.
- I'm Willy Wonka,
but fun fact, my dear children,
sometimes people call me Simba Wonka.
- Okay.
(Willy Wonka growls)
- Oh.
And on that note, thank you
guys so much for watching.
What did we learn today, kids?
Ended on a great now, honestly.
We learned that Willy
Wonka really be that freak.
We learned to thank
your doctors and nurses.
Stop being a pussy ass
bitch and just stay home.
You don't need to party for a year,
you can take a year off
from fucking partying.
God damn.
But I'm turning 21.
Great, awesome, that's so amazing for you,
but guess what, you can
drink after you're 21 too.
I'm turning 24 this year
and I'm still drunk as fuck
all the time.
Last time I checked, you stay
that age for an entire year,
you don't gotta celebrate
your 21st birthday
on your motherfucking
21st birthday, bitch.
You stay 21.
Wait a second, that ID is still gonna say
you're 21 after your 21st.
Shout out to LonelyPickle3
and baconpotatoesa1
for retweeting me on Twitter.
Comment down below any TikTok communities
you want me to visit and I
will try to fill up this list.
I think the next video
might be my last one
or my second to last one.
I'm not fully certain.
Even if TikTok does get bought out
and we save TikTok from getting banned,
I am going to stop doing this
once September 15th crosses.
That's it, that's my
deadline, that is forever it.
I gotta do other videos,
I gotta do other things.
But anyways, my name is Mac
and don't forget to like,
comment, share, and subscribe.
(Mac exclaims)
Now if you excuse me,
I'm going to watch Willy Wonka
grind until the sun sets.
Goodbye.
Five, six, ah, ah, ah.
Y'all need to hype me up.
Do that thing with your eyes.
Money look.
Let me see them lips.
Muah.
Attitude, give me face.
Eyes, lips, face, wait.
