Epic Rap Battles of History
Thomas Jefferson
vs.
Alexander Hamilton
Begin!
My name is Hamilton
And I'm the "G"
My face is on the Dollar Ten
Officially
I'll show you what's necessary and proper
You can have the capital, that's all I'll offer
I financed the war with my national bank,
But what about you? You never give, only take
I have a wife, eight kids, an entire family
Sally Hemmings was a girl, pique of humanity
Don't you know the word consent? Must be profanity
Cheating on your wife like that? That's just insanity
You think I'm the only one?
Look in the mirror
You cheated on your loving wife with that Maria
Paying off her man was an awful low blow
And then you published it, and let the whole country know! (Record Scratch)
Paid for your war, avec mes amis,
All of my connections growing liberty trees!
Just like you, your son was a fool
You didn't learn your lesson when he died in a duel
You left your family in debt? What a disgrace! (Ignore editing error)
Picking you as treasurer was a big mistake!
And what about you, Mr. Jefferson?
We know you can write, but what can you get done?
A central way of doing things is what we need
To secure our civil liberties with all due speed,
You want Shay's rebellion every day?
Our dope Federalism is the only way!
Our Federal crew needs some shoutouts today
So let's recite a list, like this: John Jay,
John Adams, James Madison and Rufus King,
Hella-judging Marshall and Pickering
And of course, yours truly, your master MC,
I fail to see how you could ever, ever, out-rap me!
With all your name dropping, how do you have time
To even understand the greatness of ideas like mine?
When I heard about Shay's, I was all like, "So what?"
Liberty is watered by the blood of patriots!
All I'm saying is a Bill of Rights would do a lot
To alleviate the grieving and the worries we got,
That you'll make the President a king, a crummy lout
That'll turn out to be as bad as the one we kicked out
And before you even go there, yes I think the courts
Might get too powerful and start to ignore
What is going down in states where all we wanna do,
Is not have to worry about Federalists like you!
That's you, Thomas Jefferson!
Mess with me!
