 
Keep Still Part Two

By Janet Gillooly

Does It Edify All

What good is knowledge if it does not cause us to self-reflect and give he glory to God? Does it edify others? Do we love God more then we love ourselves?

We should not think ourselves better than anyone, because God can bring us low. Here but for the grace of God go I. We should not judge, because we might not be in such a good state in the future. We tend to believe the evil in others rather than the good. Do we gossip about the good in others? It is humble to think better of others, then to think better of ourselves.

Do we make time to be with God? What good is anything without is good or us?

Do we try to control or let God control? If you put up with others, just remember that they have to put up with you. None of us is without sin.

What good is any act without charity within, which comes only in truth by being with God. Everything is vanity, but the love of God and his truths.

Living a silent contemplative life, is much better than many words. It is better many

times to remain silent, then to speak. It is better to think low of thyself then to esteem oneself better than one is.

These thoughts are not original but come from the bible and spiritual books. Nothing is original under the sun. Man suffers many temptations and tribulations, but he should not make his heart familiar to just anyone, but to one who is living like Christ.

Man is sometimes better alone, then to do evil things and speak evil with others who also need comfort. The one battle to fight is to overcome ourselves and our self-will , and with love, doing God 's will, not knowing what are left hand is doing. Being in the company of others too much can cause us pain of conscience. Man is a temptation.

Even though we are not perfect , God will love us and continue to mortify our passions. The saints strove to have no addiction nor no desire, but to love God and to share this love with others. All people are used and inspired by God and the Devil is there too. We should have hope and tru st in the Lord that he will bring us all to completion. He has begun a good work in us and will follow through until he comes again. Amen

"God your sea is so big and my boat is so small."

The Old Woman

The old woman had an open spirit and was not afraid to let you in. She did not plan to give, she just did.

She sat in the front row at church and everyone knew who she was. She helped anyone

who needed her and she did it with a motherly love.

She was humble beyond reach and she did not try to prove herself to anyone.

She saw the good and embraced it like the holy cross. She was simple and did not try to

sound impressive, but she was.

She was poor, but gave up what she had. She did not consider anything belonging to her, but to be shared with all. She was willing to listen and learn, but her meekness needed no words to teach others.

She gave others more thought then her own life and her prayers were heard and I am sure the angels were singing. She was not afraid to speak and tell others about the love of the Lord. She was not arrogant and her gentleness saved many souls.

The day she died many wept for they knew a saint like this only comes once in a great while. She was loved, adored and many would miss her. Many pray to her still and on a quiet night you can hear her leading the angels in song. Great is her reward I am sure and as I ponder her virtues and the memories she has left behind, I know I was touched by an angel.

"It is better to desire to lead a good life, rather than a long one."

How religious can be different from spiritual.

Religious can be ritualistic. Spiritual is more honest, real depth and intimate. You can judge this by your relationships in part. There should be total honesty when talking to God of your flaws and virtues. We should get more honest each year. Honesty, among other things, is knowing the different angles and sides of each motive. Your motive may be pure in some ways, but you must admit the part that is not. You must be building character. We must also expand our thoughts and be willing to see things differently. None of us has all the answers and we must be willing to listen to another person's views. I want to read a book soon called "The Wisdom of Insecurity" by Alan Watts. One of the points of this book from the summary I read is that belief is something you do not let go of, but faith is to let go and be willing to see things differently. Insecurity is a part of life. To listen to God, means we do not have the answers, but he does. He will give us truth as he sees fit that we are ready. I will write a summary for you , when I read this book by Alan Watts. I try to see myself honestly and how I think others view me. What God and I see count the most. God sees things more clearly and I know myself better than anyone.

Have a Peaceful Night!

"It is better to desire to lead a good life, rather than a long one."

The Stars Are Angels

As I look up at the beautiful sky on a clear cool night, I am in awe of the stars. I wonder if they are not the angels that watch over us. As I look long and hard I can picture them so.

The stars turn into lines and then I can see the wings. If I sit in silence I can almost hear them sing. I would not want heaven without the nights.

My spirit is open as I look up to the sky. God has a message and it is here tonight. My creative juices flow and I am at peace. Then I have no thoughts, but just to stare at the brilliant stars. Nature has a way of demanding silence.

I have too many words tonight and I hope my brain slows down. So I think I will go out and look at the stars. Silence is waiting for me like a long lost friend.

The Star Gazer

"It is better to desire to lead a good life, rather than a long one. "

Dear Janet

I am here for you until the end of time. Your dreams shall be realized. You have an mportant job to do.You are very special to me.

I know you are tired of your body .I know you are tired of your job.

I know you want real close friendships.I know the length of your days.

Wait on me and you will not be let down. I know you feel tired, but I will renew you .

Your prayer life will excel beyond your dreams. You I love beyond your understanding.

I know you are weak, but I will make you strong. I know you love me and I am glad you do. You are like a portrait that I am trying to create perfectly. This takes time, because I cannot leave out one detail. Be patient with me my love.

I have so many special plans for you.Our mission in my kingdom is important. It is very important! Your prayers have saved many, many and many more!

I know you cannot listen to me sometimes, but I hear you always. I want you to have joy and feel important. Oh, Janet you are so important. I have so many blessings in store for you.

Do not lose hope. Walk across the water for me now, but don't let doubt creep in. You have a faith that is precious to me. I will let no evil destroy you .

I will take away all your fears and you will look back in awe at the many miracles I have done in your life. I know you look back now in awe, but much more good things are in store for you.

Do not lose heart, for your heart is so dear to me. I know all you have tried to do for

me and I shall never forget.

Your powerful voice will be used, your words and your gift of leadership. I know you

can also follow, so follow me on this lit path I have set before you.

Soon you will know your mission. Soon the love you need will surround you. I will come and sup with you every night. You are beautiful to me and making you was no mistake. Now sleep child and rest in my arms, for your dreams will be sweet.I love you more then you know and I will build you up. Love,Jesus

P.S. Your husband, father, friend, brother and sister. I do not sleep, so talk to me anytime. Janet try not to snore to loudly .My ears are not what they use to be. (Chuckle chuckle)

Length of Days

I do not know if I have tomorrow.The screams heard might next come from me . I might lose someone I love dearly.I have only today .

I cannot think of anything better to do with my life then to improve my quality time with the Lord and learn all I can on how to become more like him.

Babies are killed every day but many do not cry for them . People will go to jail for animal abuse, but will do no time for killing a woman with child. Killing the woman is considered a crime, but killing her unborn child is of no significance.

We must take the time and ask ourselves if we weigh the justice scales properly . We need to think like Christ not like the world. The world today thinks just about anything goes. The world influences us all but Christ should be our focus.

It is sad when life is lost, but the thing that saddens me the most is how little time people give the Lord . Some will not even give him a thought until a tragedy occurs. We will read warning signs on the road to avoid an accident , but we will not heed the warnings of the Lord in the bible about those who do not turn to him.

God is patient and merciful , but people do not like to think of his justice. He cannot ignore things the way we do. His justic e scale is perfect. We do not want to think of hell, but we must. We all want not hell, but if it is real, the bible says it is not good deeds that will save you, but his grace, by being intimate with him. We must be born from above. One soul led to the Lord is more important then saving one physical life.

Our soul is eternal. Let us not ignore the warnings of the Lord. Have you read the bible today?

A Dream

I heard a cry and then I heard a scream. I felt my soul die within. Had I really done this awful crime.I did not know this at the time.

Now I suffer oh, such a cost. My poor little soul feels so lost. How can God forgive me?

Now how can I?

If I could go back in time.I would never have done this crime. Life lost is such a cost.

Now I weep for the child that is lost.

I had an abortion on that tragic day. Everyone said that is was okay.

It really isn't a child at this stage.

The counselor and nurse said it was for the best.

It was not best for my baby. It was not best for me.

It was not best for God.

Who was it best for?

I went through this storm for years.

Now God has given me peace.

Now I spend my time in prayer

and talk women out of this despair.

I comfort those who have already had an abortion, and I talk women out of it, before it is too late. I tell the women, who are about to commit this crime, do you really want to do the time?

I know it sounds corny in a world where millions of babies are lost every day, but I would rather sound corny, then to see others pay. Never will I see my child again until my dying day.

Signed not a popular choice.

I have never had an abortion, but I know those who have. It is a hard decision to keep a child sometimes, depending on the situation, but abortion is more costly, than inconvenience.

Visions

I have not had visions like some who see something or someone in front of them, but I have had visions when I close my eyes. I have had visions of my life not in the literal sense, but an insight in to my future and about myself. I have had psychic experiences about events which I know come from God , because they have come true.

I have witnessed healing through the holy water I use , in particular a cat once and one particular person , but the healing goes on even if I am not aware of everything. I have used the name of Jesus and seen his power. The word of God is real power and of course the rosary. I have sensed Mary's presence real strong, saints and of course the glorius God.

Prayer is so powerful and many of my requests have been answered. The answers are yes, no and wait . Prayers being answered have increased my faith and of course the real union with God in prayer. He makes himself known , but he also remains hidden many times, but then he will come to you again like a powerful love force that cannot be denied . If you feel God is not there or is not working in your life sometimes then, wait on the Lord and you will not be let down .

The body and blood is real in the mass and it has a healing power in so many ways. We

\just need to pray and look for God in everything and we will see his love at work.

People are so beautiful the way the Lord uses them to care for those who are hurting or just loved because they are made by God. We all make a difference and the small acts are no less important. Our life is valuable to God and everthing we go through is important to him ,

God is in control and guiding us. We may wonder sometimes why things happen , but I know in my life only can I know what he is teaching me. My sorrows have blessed me in so many ways and made me a more humane person. My faults are ever before me to keep me humble. Experiences are valuable to reflect on the power of God, but even without them, we may just look around and know that God does not neglect us.

God has created beauty and beautiful people. I have a higher calling to turn the other cheek and to live like Christ and when I remember this all resentment goes away. That is why I try to keep Christ in my mind , soul and heart at all times , so I do not forget why I am here. I am human and sometimes lose sight of this, but God always reminds me again when I forget. It is easy to think like the world, which means get even and take no crap in an arrogant frame of mind, but I am to think like Christ.

All my hurts and joys are meant for my salvation and to imitate Christ in all things. Salvation is a continual growth process which never ends until I die. I struggle every day to be more like Christ. That is why it is so important to reflect on his life. Christ was hated and he did no wrong. God continues to remind us to imitate him and we need his grace to do so. In prayer we fill up and then we are emptied , so we must pray again to fill up.

Take this cup and drink from it. Come little ones and I will give you rest. Amen.

"God your sea is so big and my boat is so small."

The Experience of God

God makes himself known to each of us and each experience is different.

God does not touch us in the same way twice. He is expansive and has many dimensions.

It seems that he changes, but he does not. We change with each touch. Each touch is new and inviting. Just as each experience with a friend feels different, so does being with God.

God does not waver from his purpose and we must submit to his will with all our being. He is the candle in a storm and our anchor in many trials. He waits for our time and love. He will mould us and lead each of us down our own special path.

God works everything out for our own good and even though it may hurt us at times, we must trust in his love and goodness. He knows where we are going and he has the means to get us there.

Faith does not fail us, so we must lean on God, even though our heart may be breaking. Faith is optimism, believing that God has our best in mind. So no matter about death , illness, sorrow of any kind , it is the means for God to heal us and bring us joy. He is leading us to a home that is eternal.

How can we be angry at God when his will is perfect and he is perfect love. We are saying that you did not make me right or my life is not the way I want. Our life is just the way he wants it at this moment. God does not make mistake . We are his children that need to grow. He will not let us burn our hand in the flame, that could harm us.

All we need to do is spend time with him and love him with our whole heart. He deserves the best after all he gave us life. We must abandon ourselves totally to his will and divine direction. He is perfect and he wants to mould us in his perfect image. God is perfect love and this is all we need to know . Trust him even in the darkness and histruth will set you free forever!

Sin

God tries to draw us away from sin, but the devil tries to draw us toward this destruction. He wants us depressed, angry, anxious but never at peace with God. Sin no matter how we try to rationalize it kills our progress ,which is total union with God .

S is for Satan, I is for Ignorance and N stands for No Where Land. Vis for Victory , I is for Insurance , R stands for Rest, Tis Trinity, U is Unity and E is Excellence . We want to embrace VIRTUE, not SIN.

I have two problems I want to start to work on today , which is food and ciggs. I will start with the food first. The book that always helps me get started is "The Imitation of Christ" by Thomas A' Kempas.This book is great when trying to get rid of addictions or bad habits or SIN! The book I am on now that gets me warmed up is "Abandonment to Divine Providence" by Jean-Pierre de Causade. These two books are on tape, if you don't have the time or energy to read .

We must cooperate with God in order to rid ourselves of Sin. He will give us the grace, but we have to go through the desert. Nothing is harder, then to kill our will when dealing with addictions . We should not judge others who are still struggling with this battle. I have hope for all of us to win these battles , no matter what they are. It is hard to go through the pain, but I want to loathe food , beyond full and ciggs totally.

God will use my weakness to humble me and to inspire me to walk across the water , even though I want to look down. I must keep my eyes on him and not forget his purpose for me. He wants me to be healthy and full of virtue. We cheat ourselves every time we give in to temptation no matter what it is and miss out on the many blessings he is trying to give us. The old AA saying is to hold out for that miracle. We will not get the many more blessings he has in store, if we give up the fight.

I am so weak Lord. Give me the strength to deny myself and follow you. I cannot see the miracle Teach me to stay in your will , even when the road is hard. I want to do your will , but my human part wants immediate gratification. I feel saddened by my sins,but help me to reach for your virtues, which will lift my sadness. Amen .

Rainfall

God set the dark clouds in the sky and it began to rain.

The rain washed over the earth

and everything gleamed clean.

I thought about my tears and looked at all the rain.

My tears were doing the same,

cleansing my soul again.

The sky was dark. The thunder rolled.

I was in my darkest hour,

and the earth seemed to agree.

The darkness lifted from the sky as quick as it came.

The rainbow did appear

which reminded me of God's promise .

I got on my knees and thanked the Lord ,

for loving me. He brought me low,

to raise me up. The rain cleansed everything and made it new. Now am I saved and

never destroyed.

Is This All There Is?

None of my friends fill my needs. My boyfriend does not either.

My prayer life is as good as it gets. My job is just that.

My Family is not close anymore.

I should travel.

I should meet new friends.

I should make changes until the bitter end.

I am bored with books . Bored with movies. Bored with advice and can't get rid of my vices.

Life is boring and the

old grey goose is snoring.

I can't have a dog.

Don't want a pet frog.

Where is the magic? It is really tragic .

It is in my brain you say, Oh, go take a train!

Where are thou Romeo? Where is heaven?

I am sick of crying in the stupid desert.

No one has the answers and the dead don't talk.

I need to take a long walk and get killed by some nut.

I like it safe, but then I don't. Don't worry it is not the end. I am just having a pity party.

I might wake up sane.

I do not want to be normal or sane. Those people are so boring.

I will get up tomorrow and do it

all again. Chores, work, peace and love . I guess I am stuck here, cause the Lord won't budge. ·

# ,..

Love

God wants my love.

He does not care if I am perfect.

If he were to wait for that, then hell would freeze over.

His love is a promise.

He wants to make me happy.

I am holy, because he is inside me.

I can count on his word.

He knows my heart and my love is his treasure. He rewards me when I spend time in his love .

He inspires me to pray and

think about what others must

go through or have been through,

especially the ones who had parents that did not nurture

them with true unconditional love.

He gives me desires or goals that he wants me to achieve.

I listen to his inspirations and directions. He gives me hope that things will get better

each day and as I look back I know he is true.

It is an eternal hope knowing that in this life and the next that he will always be there . His love cannot be told with words, no matter how fancy.

He answers my many prayers with yes, which the Holy Spirit prays for me when I cannot speak. My rewards for being with him will be great in heaven, but the big reward here is to be in his loving presence .

He does not hate. He has understanding and love beyond the human eye. His mercy is like an ocean, but more deep and wide. I am amazed at his mercy, for he could have easily condemned me.

He died for me and he continues to be in the form of bread, but his body , is real in the tabernacles, in all the Catholic churches . He is a prisoner there for me to love. How humble is that to be a wafer , which is truly his body? Think about this, because this humility of my Lord is awesome .

I remember as a child feeling real sad about his passion. I still feel sad today , but it keeps me humble to think on his life. He wants such passion from me, but his union is above all marriages, even the best. He welcomes my passion and love , with divine ecstasy.

There will be no pain in heaven. Only true love and everybody will get along. The lamb will lie with the lion. All will be holy and clean in soul and body. In revelations all physical bodies will raise from the dead and unite with their souls.

If you but think on the Lord's life and his promise of heaven , how can you not get excited about all of his magic. I but think of all of this and feel such peace and looking forward to solving more mysteries.

God is the best novel ever, best poem and best mystery . The bible is the most beautiful memory we have of him and the mass. I love you Lord and may all love you . Amen .

Create Their Own God

What some people mean when they believe in God, is that they create him the way they want him to be. Their God is not the God of the bible or the mass.

They practice witchery, astrology, crystals and any other new age theory that they fancy. I don't need all that , because I have the true God Yahweh.

They do not even pick up the bible , but they will give those tarot cards a try.

They take whatever principles seem good at the time. They will be blown away with the

chaff. They are trying to serve two masters. You can only serve one. The middle of the

fence is not an option. It is better to be cold or hot then luke warm.

I do not judge them, but I speak the truth. May they be led to the true God and his truths are not the latest faze, but the same as always and permanent. God help the lost find you, or they will have no true peace . Amen.

Mental ILLNESS

You feel stuck in darkness. In hell there is no way out. No one can free you,

until the demons are out.

You pray and moan and still the moment seems forever.

You wonder if there is an end

yet the darkness is more clever.

You have not known the word stable

and no medication works to make you able. The doctors use you as their lab

experiment and they say things will

get better , but you feel like a mouse , in a maze that can not find the cheese . You scream please help me!

No one knows this feeling

and there is a stigma, with this

type of illness. People are afraid or they judge because they do not

understand. This illness is a prisonand few can comfort you.

This illness is a spiritual gift in the sense that it challenges you to get honest more than most. It is pain , but once you are well again, you realize God has blessed you in a great way .

It saves your soul and those of others and the lessons are too many to count. But you have God, so I do not worry, but I know what you are going through , since I have been there myself .

A psychosis is the most disturbing thing but the most educational.

God gives this cross to you in a special way, but he will heal you with the oil

to bring you out in the sunlit day.

Do not worry and be good to yourself . I will keep praying that you get well. Just hold on and before you know,

you will look back on this darkness,

as another triumph , against the enemy and you will sing your praises to God!

,.

Holy

Where did my walk begin, so long ago with God. It started in desperation, and I remain for the same reason. My love needed a place to hide and to express, without being hated or misunderstood. God is my spirit and I just breathe him in.

He does not care about my words, but my heart and the love I show him. I do not get him by knowledge, but by prayer. Love is the key to prayer and I would weep bitterly if I really knew how much he loves me.

I opened that window into his light, and he came as a soft cool breeze and his power and love thundered . He was both peace and might. His justice covered me and pierced my soul deeply. I was whole even in darkness and always his light, blessed and guided me into his garden.

He did not judge my sins, but blessed them and made them wash away in his blood and in the end it was his love that won over everything. Love is a two-edged sword, but the positive shall mould and remain. The negative is merely a miracle waiting to happen. There is no closure with God, but a constant rebirth, until we are home again.

I merely asked him to come in and had a burning desire to love him and he flowered and produced fruit within me. He knew I was not perfect, so he could prove his power, and love to men of rules. Rules that judge and despise those who do not carry this heavy load, but his rule was love. His love was not forced , but gently he led me to the path of peace and to righteousness .

He was the only thing that made sense and now as I ponder my walk with him, how far I have come and how little his love is known to me. I come far, but then again I have progressed so slowly, but he wants me right where I am and he does not see progress and time like I do.

Every little event and moment is placed there by him to teach and help me appreciate his guidance and love. He is changing me even though I don't always see it, but he does. His love is forever and we all shall endure.

I reach out for love, like to a rose, careful to avoid the thorns, but the Lord lets the thorns prick me sometimes, to mould me into his heart.

Comfort

There are times when I can get no comfort from anyone, no not even God. All people have are cheap words and spirits do not unite like they should. Souls should be in tune with each other like God's peace.

I do not have the same narrow view of God's will, like I use to and people who have not expanded their minds beyond rules cannot possibly comprehend. People pound rules into you , not God. It is their rules from their tiny perspective.

Each year the words of God change me and expand my mind and heart. Understanding

is the key to love.

There are so many misunderstandings, lost words and the walls are bolt shut.

We do not challenge ourselves enough to love the unloveable, bitter and lonely souls. We want our comfort and so we say cheaply, we pray for our enemies and those who persecute us. We don't reach out to those in need, because we don't have the time. Our soul wants to move to higher ground , but we think it too much trouble.

Do good to those who hurt you. To me this lesson is beyond all others. To love the way Jesus did when he dwelt on the earth for a short time as the most splendid gift to all man. Is there an angel in your life that needs your time? You never know if you entertain angels, that you may snub, may be not intentionally , but snub just the same.

Our soul gets lost in the hustle and bustle of life, but it needs to be fed. See love around you and see that beauty as you do the rose in your garden. Pain seeps in your soul, to challenge you to love more and more like Jesus. Do not ignore this call or it may come more jolting in your darkest hour.

The darkest hour is when Christ is closest of all and you will see truth in a new light.

Do not judge and you will not be judged. Understand and compassion will kiss you at

the right hour. No one knows God's will for me accept him and through him I have eyes

to see clearly. The body and blood will enter my being and a new creature shall emerge.

We love more the closer we get to the sun and those times may seem like darkness. Come dear Lord and shows us the way to love, like you a soaring dove .

I reach out for love, like to a rose, careful to avoid the thorns , but the Lord lets the thorns prick me sometimes, to mould me into his heart

My Heart

I need your love.

I need time with you.

I need the excitement of your presence.

I need hope.

You are the only one who can fill my cup. I want to eat your body and drink your

blood. I want to see you . I need you Strength, Oh, Great One!

I am losing inspiration and the peace of contemplation. I desire better times with you. Please, do not say my good times are over with you. I could not bare for the world to win over you. Where will I go?

I have lost the greatest gift of being with you often. The world is drowning me and I can not speak. I am lost in a sea of ordinary. You are my supernatural miracle. I am losing my magic.

Let me rest for awhile in your presence without being rushed to work and home to avoid everything especially meditation. I cannot rest in your arms. I am tierd and weary and feel so alone without you.

When will my time come again to be able to drown in your love. You are my good and my fortune. I have lost heaven and wonder why .

Will you not give me my greatest treasure and shelter me in your ray of hope? Come to me and unite me to you completely. An ordinary life is to live without you. Let me bask in your light so your love may be seen for miles.

You will come to me again in a greater way and I shall look at this suffering as a blessing to mould me in your image. Let me feel like your special child again and then no one could shatter my dreams.

I will wait for you patiently and then I will rise to meet you with my lantern filled with

oil. Do not deny me long for this darkness is a prison and only you have the key.

I reach out for love , like to a rose, careful to avoid the thorns, but the Lord lets the

thorns prick me sometimes, to mould me into his heart.

Tunnel

Walking through the tunnel of light and love. We must keep moving. We must find peace above all. God is the energy that spreads to the ends of the universe. We all need this energy to survive, but not just that, but to sing. We need those spiritual experiences to know God is there.

The stars are the beginning of that atmosphere of heaven. We must get away and be with God. Prayer is the only power that lasts. We must solve mysteries of God and of ourselves. This brings about unity with others.

I will reach out to God in order to make my destiny a place he chooses. He is order in a chaotic world. A world of noise and avoidance of his love. Many do not want to think about him or take that important time. I will stay with him until the sun goes down.

Hypnotic State

Some would say when I meditate that I go in to a hypnotic state, so in lay terms may be, but in contemplation it is so much more. I talk to God and then I listen to him . I listen

to his words and his silence.

I get a high which I have experienced in the past at greater intensity. I started meditation years ago when I came to know Christ and that drew me further in to contemplation. God's power over me draws me in to this state and I am puddy in his hands or a magnet drawn to his heart. I am in union with him and nothing in this life is more joy. It is not just joy, but completion and there is no other bond more sounder, real and worthy.

It is not my virtues that draw me in to this but God's great love for me. I but desire him above all else and he opens this door to me. He created me and continues to create my soul in to a flame of love for him. I have actually in the past heard his audible voice, but mostly his words speak gently to me like mind telepathy. At times the audible voices could have been his angels also. I am crazy if you say so for his love and the love of heaven.

He sees my deepest part, whereas people only see what they choose. He seeks the truth above all else and has drawn me in to his truth and the truths about myself . Prayer has been my main goal in life to perfect , because it means union with God who is total love. He does not love on condition, and he is not easily disappointed , because he sees my heart and the meat of truth. Shallow are the eyes of so many, who only see the shell and the worldliness which all die quickly.

If we all saw ourselves completely there would be world peace , but most tend to try to fix the other guy instead of themselves. That is why Christ made the statement about taking the plank or wood beam out of our own eye first , because he knew our tendencies and I know purifying my soul is a full time job, with of course the power of God. I cannot change alone.

I have also heard evil and sensed it at times when the evil one had only fear, to give me which would not draw me away from my husband. People are afraid to delve too deeply in to the spiritual world of prayer. I am not talking about mediums and hocus pocus , but Christ and his truths that come from the bible. The bible has been a real source of strength for me and the sacraments. I believe the bible is the word of God, and I ask God before I even lift the book up , to speak to my heart through his words and to admonish me where necessary . God is the word.

I don't share my spiritual life with too many anymore, because most are not interested

or it scares them. I let my life be used by God in his way , but I try to keep my words

few unless God leads them to me to speak to them or they to me. Why are they afraid of

the greatest love? or even christians only want to go so far. God is the answer to

everything and he wills everything in our life to happen, to make us more holy . If God

allows something to happen then he wills it and most do not want to believe this.

If someone has spiritual experiences and they are not drunk or delusional from some disease then everyone tends to still think they are crazy, when the one who does not seek God with all his heart in prayer is the crazy one! People take so little time to think of their death and their life with God, that this makes for a mere existence and shallow life.

God is the ultimate truth and love . We are here to learn to love him. We are here but a short time to love others and to spread his message of love. Weep for the lost and the self-righteous. We all must follow our path which leads to him.

Amen.

Love The Word Thrown Around Like Trash

I heard him speak those hateful words

to me and he might as well have taken out my heart and stomped on it. It did not matter

to him, his words oozed out like a hot oil fire.

He had no conscience of right or wrong only that he chose to be hateful and

felt justified. Not one good thing

does he say, only resentful things does he spew out and assassinate my character, leaving out not even my bowels.

His misery requires drink and shallow is his depth. My heart he carves out

with a knife and enjoys seeing the blood trickle out slowly and then rush forth

like a confused wind.

Nothing I do matters and I feel like a mouse trapped in a maze. I cannot speak of the

details, because of loyalty and it hurts too much to speak of such rejection.

I know his good exists and I keep hoping for a miracle.

Love runs deep like pain and desperation. If people were to ask me why I stay, it would be a hard question to answer.

No one knows what they will do in any

given situation and sometimes I wish I could just die. Die to pain and face no fear again .

I wonder what I am doing here. It does not seem to matter and my purpose seems

to be gone or so faded that I cannot see. Grief is so deep that no one can console you

and words would seem so unfeeling and shallow. It is easier for others to

speak casually of your life, when they are not the ones who have to live it.

I try not to cry, but sometimes my tears they rush forth like a flood or trickle slowly and I feel like a rock that has been beaten too much with the weather. I try to still think of the good in this world , but it gets harder every day, with so much coldness.

I try to wake up with hope eternal , every day that I am alive, but I wish I could

just go the way my daddy did. My writings will never probably be good enough, but it is the only way I express,my heart since I gave up singing.

There is joy, but pain clouds it over, until the next time I locate a treasure .

God is my home I hope.

I hope I have the strength to handle

the next storm. I can tell when some

have not been through too much ,

and when others only have their feelings that concern them .

This is my heart for today. Tomorrow is not promised. May I look back on this sorrow as a dream or faded memory . If someone reads this someday and feels this pain, know that I am praying for you in heaven

hopefully. I have no advise, but only can I say that God is the greatest advisor of them all. May you turn to him.

This is my message in a bottle when I am no longer here.

He or she who learns to pray well , lives well . Paraphrase of St. Augustine .

God is Real

God make yourself real to me,

more than human blood, the blood of your son.

Jesus pour down upon me the grace,

to do you justice in prayer.

Help me to pour out myself to you

and to be less selfish.

Help me to be your channel of mercy and miracles. Give me a burning desire

to pray and to pray with the fire of love for my neighbor. Fire of love, Holy Spirit

consume me and let me soar to the heavens.

Let me love the world as my family and to plead for all of them, as if my soul

depended upon it. Let me love you Father with humility and love others freely, the way

you gave your son for us.

Your son died and every drop of blood

was a drop of mercy . Lord let me show mercy , as you have shown mercy to me.

Let me weep for the Lord in his suffering and rejoice in his resurrection. Let me do the same for the world in their sufferings and joys.

Let me not be harsh or bitter, but to see my pain as fruitful, for my good and the good of the world. Lord mould me in your fashion and help me to accept you with all my heart.

Let me accept all in your image and

may I do your will with humility, truth , love, and charity which will bring me

peace .

Let my actions speak of my love for you to my neighbor. May all find you , not because of fear,but because they need your mercy and love.

May I plead your cause Lord, even if it not be convenient. May you be proud of my heart and soul which is my life.Lord , you are that cause , my purpose and you are my life. Amen .

Talk to God and then listen to God. Let him talk to you like a friend. -St Ignatius

Exercises (Imagination) This is a great way to make God more real and to have faith like

a child.

Kindness

Kindness is a rose .

It smells so sweetly as we take in its essence.

Kindness is a pearl,that is real depth. A gentle touch, a loving word and a smile

that brightens the sky, this is kindness.

Kindness is a sword of real strength. It loves inspite of the storms.

It takes more courage, then hateful words can bring. It brings peace to all.

Kindness is a book, that brings true knowledge. It does not want to get even, but to stand for love. Its pages are the fruit of a beautiful garden.

Kindness is a candle,that is bright and stands alone. It does not need anything in the darkness. Hate and resentment cannot blow it out.

Kindness is a heart, that beats with a strong power. Love invites it in. Peace is its home.

Kindness is a wand , that brings magic to all. It waves away sadness and gives hope to all.

Kindness takes just a moment and is easy like a smile .

It takes no effort at all.

It is like a prayer that reaches to God and he remembers.

Kindness is a blessing

we all need!

Talk to God and then listen to God. Let him talk to you like a friend. -St Ignatius

Exercises (Imagination) This is a great way to make God more real and to have faith like a child .

Buddy Boy

I know you loved your baby boy .

He loved to play with his ball and toys. He never left your side for even a moment. He

loved his mommy so.

Your big heart rescued him from a bad

home and memories.

In return you gave him a home of love.

He will never forget you nor you him.

That bond will last forever in the eternal scheme of things.

When you lay down at night and feel

the tears start to flow,

just think of him in heaven roaming

free forever more!

He will be waiting when you finally arrive and you both will hug and cry.

Then he will want to play ball.

Maggie Mae is sad too, but you

both have each other now to comfort.

Try to think of good things

and give her a kiss for Buddy Boy .

He was a gift to you, but all too short of a time, but now he is with the heavenly Father.

Death is a fact of life, and sometimes

God gives us a gift for only a short while , so enjoy your many gifts .

Life is short as you know ,

but you do have a friend who cares

and I hope you know how much.

Your friend Janet

Talk to God and then listen to God . Let him talk to you like a friend. -St Ignatius

Exercises (Imagination) This is a great way to make God more real and to have faith like

a child.

Service to God

Ask not what God can do for you, but what you can do for him. Ask not what can your neighbor do for you, but what you can do for him. Don't wait for someone to make the first step, but you take the first one.

Don't let pride stop love.

Don't let arrogance promote hate.

Let peace and gentleness of heart

be your way of life.

Don't ask why you, but why not you.

Don't ask why this is happening, but thank God it is not worse. Don't be ignorant to

evil, but keep

your heart open for more good.

See the good in prosperity and the good in less .

Rebuke sin and love morals,

for life is short .

In short love, instead of waiting for it. Give and expect not payment or reward.

Give out of the deepness of your heart

and understand with your soul

and be free in spirit.

Be not selfish nor vain,

nor puff yourself up with knowledge,

but put on the armor of God

and this will cause your heart to overflow!

Live in truth, sincerity of heart. Be obedient to God .

and you shall find your way,

even in the dark.

The Kingdom of God is created by men in this world. The church is a city, the world. God chose all of us to spread and create his kingdom. He did not want to do it alone , but with the help of men. Something to be grasped at.

)

I Love You

When I make a cheese cake it is not just the ingredients, but I pour lots of love in there.

How do I tell you I love you

for words do no justice .

There is so much good in everyone but I do not think they know-

how much I care.

It use to be so easy for words to flow-

but walls find their way through the mist- like a fog that lingers like a long slow rain .

Know that I care, even if you do not

feel it. Know we all get lost-

but home is always there .

I have touched your spirit, in the deep

dark night. We have shared many moments and they are always in my mind . My heart remembers fond!y all the love-

you have shown.

If you think I don't love you , think again- even though we may not speak often and

some friends- will never come again.

I have loved many and that love does not die. Space may be empty and keep

us apart, but like my heart it is really- not empty, just foreign to sight.

Life can seem jaded , but please know you are loved. I place you before the shining altar of God- in my prayers and he surrounds you with his light and it is brilliant and bright.

God will take your sadness and brighten your path with a rainbow- a sign of hope and eternal love.

I love you and hold your goodness tight and ask the angels to circle around you golden dust.

The golden dust is a symbol of your goodness and my love for you is like a blooming rose. I know my thorns have pricked you, but remember my soul as that flower.

I do not know how to end this- but just to say you are my friend and I love you. Take my heart

and share your gold dust with me.

Together we can unite in prayer.

I love all of you and may you always

know that my love remains .

The Kingdom of God is created by men in this world. The church is a city, the world. God chose all of us to spread and create his kingdom. He did not want to do it alone, but with the help of men. Something to be grasped at.

..

My Mom

I cannot do you justice for all

you have done.

You are a pillar of strength , stronger, then anyone I know.

You have cared for many, but rarely have you been thanked.

You were in the shadows-even

though your light was the brightest.

I thank you for my strength

and my heart. I thank you for my talents and who I am, but mostly I thank you for showing me God.

I am sorry for the times I made you cry. I am sorry for not always making the best of my life that you gave me.

I am sorry for the times I made you worry and the times I made you mad.

I know I am special because of you and because you love me.

I can never repay you-

but I love you with all my heart .

You have suffered much and given much and God forgives those who have loved much like you.

There is a special place in heaven for you a mother of eight.

I know you are not perfect , but I would not trade you, like

I sometimes wanted to when I

was a young child. You taught

me many things , including treating

others with courtesy and respect.

You have taught me many things such as humility and kindness. My soul first grew with you.

A mother's love is the truest

and forever lasting.

I will always thank God for your love.

You are my hero.

Take these words to heart

and know I speak the truth.

You deserve the best and in heaven

you will see your husband and son again.

Love- your daughter

I

Angel Dust

It is a circle that is never broken this space, this life. Life dies and then it is renewed. Angels flock to each spirit and creature leading them to their path.

It is this connection that unites everyone .

Each life adds to the earth as a collection of dust and covers the ground .

Angel dust is in the sky, radiating

from each spirit.

The dust forms new ground and new sky.

Each particle is necessary for life to exist.

Earth is but an image of heaven. Earth is but a part of space. Space is all knowing and consuming .

It does not vanish for it is eternal.

Do not be vexed for this life is but a moment. We will all be free if we choose to be. Eternal is the heart of each spirit as they make their way across the sky, to the stars and angel dust shall we rise.

A Skeleton

You only see my skeleton . You only see my flaws. You do not see my serenity, nor the light of my divinity.

You tear at my heart

and toss me back and forth, like the ocean .

Your waves could easily break me,

if it were not for my soul, my love.

The light in my eyes is from above and my gifts were given by him. My big loving heart and humble spirit is given by many trials.

He beckons me like no other one and loves me like I need.

He knows my thoughts and gestures,

and loves me with a smile.

The secret I have learned is when

others drift apart like a cold bitter wind , and I sit in silence alone and bereft ,

there is that one, who knows love

and we grow as one.

He does not leave.

He is complete alone.

I share his love, like a worm to the world, but to him a butterfly.

.

Eat

I am honest, but yet I eat.

I am good and pure, but yet eat.

The dark side of myself is there,

but my goodness remains, but yetI eat.

I showed you kindness, but yet you forced my mouth open to see,

if you could see my fangs and then you saw them .

You saw what you wanted , because you could not be honest like me.

You dissected me as if you were immune

to faults and I would be better for your shovel.

You dug a grave for me that fateful day and seemed to be delighted to see

my body in there for all to see and than you could all pile the dirt on me

high .

Could you not accept an angel of mercy? You bore the nails in my skin so deep and laughed aloud sharing your gossip abroad.

Love you did not accept of me,

like the Lord, instead you preferred misery .

Persecution was the Lord's. He was my destiny.

He will wash away my sins clean

and then his majesty will shine in me.

I fly so high-

no word can keep me from him

for he knows my heart-

and considers it his dynasty.

Trust

Why do I still not trust you with everything? After all the love you have shown and the miracles you showered on my-

little head.

Surely your pain must be great deeper than mine.

Mine in comparison is like a shallow lake and yours is worlds unknown.

The storm comes and still I fear- as if you would do me harm. Your love is like a gentle wind- that all scorn.

Kindness is easier, but yet people

are so ugly- and my ugliness is

not loving you enough nor trusting

your steady hand.

I am flesh and weak.

Please take my spirit to heaven and bring it back to my body- so I can see your love fully- and may be I would not groan.

But this earth is a cause to groan, because I have not you here-

like in heaven- where spirits roam

free- and give love freely- with no fear of hate and judgement.

Boundaries are mine here- but you smooth my lines- a taste of heaven here-

until the final time, eternity.

A Thought

A thought lingers and teaches

like a loving call .

It whispers, then fades and

then suddenly I remember again

like serendipity.

Each line I write , each book I read brings me to a memory-

a lingering thought that guides me home to a truth- that is my destiny.

Spiritual in nature the lesson climbs and truth and love are mine to hold. My dreams leave me breathless-

!hold a man dear and then like

the wind he is gone and only stillness

remains.

My soul is unique in thought, but

yet we are all the same-

but my thoughts are different like each created thing.

I sleep- I eat- but my soul is here waiting for release again to fly above the seas and the land another soul gets a glance of me-

and then it is gone like a fades memory.

The Lord never fades and holds my soul-

like a movie forever stained on the galaxy- I am a star that will shine in the end

and we all will explode together.

Whisper

I hear that small tender voice as a calm breeze blows-

Then the whipporwhill does sing

a strong peace does show.

It is him my soul- he needs me now-

I close my eyes to drift asleep

He rocks me gently to the beat of his soft steady feet.

The dogs do bark and howl

nature is at rest-

everything is in unity-

my spirit makes a nest-

in his arms. The world is blest

with his love .

As a child takes for granted his mother' s love-

r take for granted his protection

from above.

Everything moves as one our paths do cross-

all the roads merge-

his love is heard-

in the forest-

and on the seas-

We receive is love-

according to our desire and need.

.

Comedy

We make fun of the things that matter and the things that don't matter.

We laugh , then cry, get angry and then start all over again.

We talk of issues and people in disgust- sarcasm and laugh. Sometimes news is too much to watch-

but most of the time it is our lifeline to= the great big world.

There is no rhyme or reason and then everything seems to fit.

We are tossed around by emotions thought and then peace comes.

We try to maintain peace and space and talk to a few people.

The older we get the more there are

grays and shadows- no black and white- like good and evil.

Evil and good mix like a powerful

doubled-edge sword.

God can shower mercy- and then sorrow can come-

like a flood of blood .

Truth told bluntly is funny-

and a shallow line is funny too Humor and sorrow mix-

as long as we don't get stuck on one .

Both are part of life- necessary-

Heaven-

no sorrow.

By Janet Gillooly Janet- Marie

Love is our legacy we leave behind.

,..

:

Prayers

I prayed to God for big boobs and everything became big .

I prayed to God for a man and got one.

I prayed for a doctor and got Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde .

I prayed for security and got

a tornado.

I prayed not to hit a deer and hit one.

I prayed to hit the lotto

and got a speeding ticket.

I prayed for God's love

and I was paid in full.

This is fiction.

By Janet Gillooly

This poem is just a joke, but I am sure you can relate in a way . All these events did not

occur.

Janet- Marie

Love is our legacy we leave behind.

Job

### I wept but no one could hear me. They accused me and I was innocent. They would not look at themselves" and they would not look at me. I said why do you go away?

Do you not know the great spirit- and they cast him out and would not speak to me. My pain was beyond words and I could not measure- they did not measure their words- and they said loathing things to me- and laughed a haunting laugh. Why do you not know your end? and they would not listen- they had pride and arrogance- and vile hate-and they loved it. Why did I waste my words.. for they are bitter to me- and why was I born? The darkness waits for me- but I would not yield to it- but it waits. It waits for sorrow to consume me- and my loneliness to drive me crazy- but I will not welcome it. There are days when I want to die of sorrow- and be no more. Why are spirits so distant from each- other- they do not call. I could be dead for weeks and the smell wreak for miles* but no one would know. Denial is always their defense and why have I loved- only to feel the bitter sting- and

the cradle is left empty. Should I not complain- but they do not want to hear truth. They hide in safety hoping- the darkness does not come- but death does come. I am gone and no more. By Janet Gillooly I decided not to let punctuation and english block my creativity in this one. It feels free not to have rules.

Love is our legacy we leave behind.

Meditation

Your spirit comes to life.

You have a supernatural peace.

You have an outlook of hope, even when you have things to do you would rather not

do.

You are in love with a mystery .

This mystery intrigues.

You explore deeper and deeper.

There is not one thing you will not try in order to keep discovering.

There is trouble all around but you go up to the mountain top. It is the transformation of Christ within you that leaves you without words. How does he take a small flame and make it bright?

How do you describe your mystical experiences with God? You are in awe of his guidance and answered prayers . You know everything is in God's plan so your burden is lighter.

He is a mystery, but he shares himself with you. His light would be too bright all at once so like a prism he hides himself from you . You enter in his room and he shares his secrets. Yes, it is like a secret garden . Each fragrance leaves you wanting more.

Deep is not deep enough. Peace is not peace enough . He still remains a mystery and you long to know more. His flame is too far away and you feel blinded in ignorance. Entering heaven will be the end of all searching . There will be no separations from him. He is now revealed totally before you. AMEN.

Popularity is pleasing people. Greatness is pleasing God .

)

The Secret

I looked in the sky for it.

I looked to the earth.

I looked for that book.

I looked for that film.

I sought that one person.

I looked for that perfect tune.

I sought that one mystery and it always came back to me.

The secret was within me. It was in silent prayer.

The silence was my teacher

and when the stillness was gone

many words started to flow.

It was him who waited for me.

He came in a flash, but through life

it was a trickle, a rain drop here and there until I realized he was so close.

He had waited patiently for me and it was only right that I should patiently wait on him .

My unanswered prayers are only the tool he uses to keep me close.

He was my light in the darkest tunnels .

My sorrow brought me healing .

My sins have brought his mercy like a gentle rain. Nothing he will not do to keep me safe in his kingdom.

I am a doe and he is the forest that protects me. All the answers are in time spent with

him . He is the moon that guides me at night and the sun that keeps me warm by day.

I have life, joy and a feeling of being special because he is within me. If I did not

belong to him I would be but a shell. Emptiness is those who do not know him . I have a

friend, husband , father and brother. I want to share him with you.

Rely not on your pride,

nor pleasures that are short.

We all have a grave we must enter. Take not death to yourself.

His Passion

His passion is like a bitter knife to my gut. The thought of his pain moves me to bitter tears and yet so bitter I cannot weep.

His blood is everywhere and he has no relief till the bitter end.

I wish I could have been there to comfort him and yet now as I try to offer comfort my moves seem useless. To think of being one of the reasons he had to shed so much blood and be in agony I wish I could die of shame.

I feel like Judas who betrayed him and I have no courage to face him. I feel like Peter who fled when things got tough. Yet, I feel like Veronica who wipes his face not caring if I lose my life. Oh, but do not let me be Simon who complains about the sacrifice. He is not as guilty as I who know him.

I think of the hatred he endured and I want to love him all I can so he feels appreciated. Oh, Jesus it hurts too much to look upon your pain and I must turn my head away in order to bear it.

I wish not to falter in sharing all your life and your sacrifice is total beyond my understanding . The earth ripped open the day you died letting the world know of a heart tom in two in order to save lives.

I feel not enough for your passion and yet I want to feel everything . Let the well of tears I shed be not for my own misery but for your passion and for the world that suffers. I have dwelt in your passion most of my prayer life and lived a sorrowful life. Let now your passion move me to love you and others more than myself and this will bring my life of joy to completion. For your passion leads to eternal life.

You took the passion I shared with you and turned it into joy. Now let me share this joy with others by loving you and others more than myself. Help me to put you first in everything. You are complete within yourself, but yet you gave us life. AM EN.

I Walk In Darkness

I started out like everyone else. I wanted a normal life.

Never did I think I would be lost

in a dark tunnel with no way out.

As my problems surmounted not one reached out a hand to help me. My husband had no thoughts of me but only what he wanted .

The doctor looked at me like a number.

I wanted help but I did not know how

to ask. I wanted to please everyone and put myself last. Last did I finish. Once in this dark tunnel I had no clue of my dilemma.

I no longer feel the need to speak.

I am dead and just want my body destroyed. Now they help me when it is too late for

my children. A child cannot speak up and I feel like a child completely at the mercy of

others.

In neglecting my needs I have paid the heaviest price. I have to live knowing I destroyed my children who were my pride and joy . I feel in a coma. I am numb and shall rot away in a cell far from care.

I deserve no love, but oh if I could have done something different. The devil laughs at me now. He tricked me into destroying my life and he has the last laugh.

If I could play a fiddle it would hiss like hell. It would moan like a lost ship. When you go to bed tonight with all the ones you love surrounding you, remember me in your prayers. I am alone and death would be sweet. My puni shment is to live.

I do not want to face all of this and feel doing this would make me more crazy then I am now. Oh, God to be born was sweet but this life now is hell. Lord take me away to a place where I can be sane again. Amen.

The Lost

They seek not you, only their vanities.

They seek only their own goodness,

not that source which is the only gold.

They know it not you when they feel peace. They say they believe but utter prayers that produce no intimacy with you. They know not your great love and mercy.

They are wounded but seek not the great healer. They are in darkness and seek not the great light. They are in confusion and dispel it not with your words of truth . They are sad and seek not the great comforter.

They walk in storms with no hope.

They see only the shallow part , for they have not shared your passion. They avoid you but embrace the devil. They prefer lies to truth and self -glory rather than humility .

They value their looks more than their soul. They show no fear in regards to your justice. They seek you as a passing fancy rather than a real commitment.

They are afraid of intimacy and accepting themselves the way they are. They do not

want to think of death and do not want to examine themselves honestly.

Honesty brings freedom. Letting go brings order. Silence brings peace.

Is not the Lord sweet?

Wait not for your death. Seek not to gain the world. Give more then you take, by praying to the Lord.

Dear Friend

We have been through the laughter, the tears and all the years.

We have talked all through the night and shared a moonlit prayer.

We stared into a fire.

We have looked at the ocean at night.

The stars that twinkled assured

us that we were alive.

Mystical is our union and each step has brought us here.

When did I see you naked and

not clothe you?

When did I not feed you when you were hungry? Did I not do all this for you and more?

Did I not dry your tears and mend your broken heart?

I took you out of the darkness and

gave you sight.

I fly to you and give you my heart .

I have held nothing back

for no less would do.

When you were lonely I fed you my body . When you were persecuted I gave you my blood .

When you were sick I annointed you with my oil. When your heart was aching I gave you my love. When you felt divided I gave you my soul.

When you die I will give you my angels.

When your mission is done you shall live with my saints. When it is your time to rise

I will be your final destiny.

"Life offers you a new look. God offers you a new life."

God does not judge .

I am on the book "Who Told You You Were Naked." It is a really good book. The monk states that people are the only ones who condemn or judge. God saw his creation as good , man saw it as bad. Man decided that he knew better then God and labelled things good and bad. God only sees good. We sin because we condemn ourselves already and feel guilty which leads to sin. He does not say if there is a devil, but if in our present condition we judge ourselves then in eternity we may condemn ourselves. God does not punish, but we punish ourselves. Suffering is letting go of what we think we should be and accept ourselves the way we are.

We see ourselves separated from God which is an illusion as is sin. Our idols or gods are people here we feel we should be like or live up to. If we judge others it is because we judge ourselves. Fear , hate envy is what we see which is separating ourselves from God which is an illusion. Anything separate from God is nothingness. None of us are separate from God.

God loves all and came to free us and bring us into reality . He did not see himself offended or need to forgive for he did not condemn himself . If you see yourself as united to God free from judgement then there is no need to be offended if you are confident in this. We get upset over something someone says and that can only be if we believe it ourselves. If we agree with them and accept the truth in humility then why get upset.

A loving God would not throw us in hell , but we choose hell. We are comfortable in a world of judging and we feel God must be this way. We may evaluate a situation or behavior as not good , but to say this person is bad, to lash out and pretend they do not exist is saying they are separate from God . God lets the sun shine on all and loves all. He came to save us from punishing ourselves.

I cannot voice what this monk is saying very well , but that is why it would be best if you read the book. We try to live up to this state of perfection that we think is right , but God sees us as good, as his children and free. Freedom is accepting truth and letting go of punishing ourselves. We destroy ourselves, but God does not destroy.

God was not saying who told you you were naked but who told you you were bad. God did not say that Adam and Eve were bad. He wants to offer us all the tree of life which is free from guilt and fear. People are harsh not God. We say not to judge , but yet we say God does what he tells us not to do.

None us like pain but growing is painful when we finally learn to accept God's gift without condition and accept that this life is not perfect . Let us stop punishing ourselves and accept that God is merciful and does not condemn us.

I am tiered of the brainwashing I have received that God is punishing , when it is people who say he is. I will work on changing my views which have been instilled in me over a lifetime. God is love and to say he will punish us is a contradiction in terms . We should not fear his judgement for he will not judge . We are the judge and need to hang up our hammer . We only sin for we feel not worthy to be his children, but he says we are worthy. He calls us friend not servant. We should not be ashamed of being human, for God made us so. He said what he made is good. Judge not yourself and you will not tjudge others. We ask God for forgiveness for we are the ones who have a hard time forgiving ourselves.

Janet- Marie - A part of the Trinity Family.

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Man created sin not God.

God wanted man to see man as good, but man did not choose this view. None of us have all the answers, but it is good to be open to new ideas. When someone is aggressive or hurts you they are not attacking your goodness, but their own. They are insecure and see themselves as unworthy to be called a child of God. Confusion is good sometimes, because it means you do not think you have all the answers .

Sin never was in God nor did it exist. We have created guilt, fear and punishment. Sin

is an illusion to God and we must follow is path. We sin, but once in heaven we will see

the real truth God was trying to teach us. We transfer our punishments onto God and see

him as the punisher, when we are the ones who do it to ourselves. We continue to pray and follow God, but let us go easy on ourselves and others. We are human and then in heaven we shall be divine. Life is painful , but how we deal with hurts is the true test. I love you all as a human and as divinity. God bless all of you!

Dream The Impossible

Be forever an optimist. Logic does not always give you the answers for your life. I am the answer and I do not think like the world does. They want things they can see and many times I show you things the world does not see.

I protected you and brought you close to me for many reasons. You know some of these reasons, but many more to come. I am a mystery, but it does matter that you understand everything even though you try.

When I bring you low or close a door it means you have many blessings in store for your losses. Your losses are your gain. There is not one thing I do not understand about you . I know your greatest desires and these are important to me. What matters to you matters to me.

I have the right moment picked out for everything and the right path. Your strong desire for the supernatural above all else and the honesty. I have helped you achieve shall gently lead you closer to me. Even if you forget a prayer I shall remind you as you see your answer unfold before your child like majestic eyes of wonder towards my love.

There is so much pain, but I am the greatest love of your life which never changes. I am your steady rock even among the quicksand which may frighten you. Be not afraid or doubt my love.

I formed you and shall lead you home. I shall always forgive and never forget my great mercy. I have the eyes that see everything and when you enter my eyes glimpses of this vision take hold of you. I am your strength and you shall know me more . My truth is clear and when you embrace me this truth shall be revealed bit by bit. Sleep and watch my love unfold before you.

Your best friend is always true.

Contemplation

As a beginner you have set rituals.

Put these exercises down when the Lord calls you to feel his peace. Exercises should

lead to this peace, then you may not need these procedures at all.

You start out talking which should lead you to hear, than feel his peace. The Lord talks in silence and your spirit rests in his love.

This profound intimacy is real peace.

The peace seeps in your soul like the waves of an ocean or a beautiful moonlit night.

Seek out nature to solidify what the Lord has created.

This peace is like a waltz or the bow on a violin. You have found this peace now and no prayer can match it. No walls, no pretenses just something real and sensitive . You have been chosen for this moment since your life began and when the Lord had you in mind to create.

This is no effort but more effort not to reach this state. You have finally found your soul and the Lord is good. He is a profound reality, mystery and now everything has a message to you in a new way.

This love is insightful, powerful and all knowledge. This dream of love has no flaws, no scars and never goes away. He is the dream you sought all your life. Do not let the night go without seeking your only solace. He is the only thing that makes sense in a world of superficial egos and values that are monstrous in the sense that they have no meaning . The skin is but what covers the heart , trying to find escape.

I sought the world, but it did not seek me. I sought God and there I found peace. The world tried to exploit me, but God protected my innocence and gave me my only good . I wandered the desert of self-importance and found I was dead. God breathed in me a new soul and my ego was replaced with his love. His values were important and now I

place him first. The world is dead to me . He is alive in me and now I follow is lead. He

knows what is important and matters. His solace is my rainbow , a promise I may rely on.

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Fall In Place

Ruins surround me. Everything seems to crumble.

Chaos is everywhere and yet tribulation is to be a gift . I have felt this way sometimes.

The waiting is the hardest part.

Years of praying and hoping.

I have been in such pain in my life,

that I thought I was sinking into the abyss of hell or would go mad.

I thought what can come of this mess, me and then the Lord would remind me of his greatness. It did not matter to him what I had done, for he was guiding me when all would have me on a train going nowhere.

I was weak then he made me strong. I was shallow then he made me real. I was foolish then he made me wise .

I was cheated then he gave me his love.

I sought after titles he gave me humility . I judged and he wounded me with the truth of

this losing battle . His lessons are all done out of love.

I look back on my life and everything falls into place at the right time, which is his time. I have never gone hungry. I have always had a roof over my head. I have had love. He provides for my needs, but does so much more. I have always had crosses to bear, which have saved my soul.

There is so much negativity in this world that I turn to God for optimism. People call their criticism reality, but many times it is lack of faith which is insecurity . God teaches me to dream big and together we can move mountains. Martin Luther said he had a dream and many are living that dream today . I hope my dreams will be shared with many.

There is so much to learn through God .

The Lord is generous .

The Lord only ask one thing of us, to accept his love with a humble heart.

People complain about the price of a stamp, when the mail goes through so many hands

and they work hard to give you your mail. Think of all the work that gets done for you

at such a cheap price . How can we neglect prayer, when the reward is so much greater.

To neglect God only hurts us. It is like neglecting to eat food to keep you alive.

I believe God hurts when he is neglected . We have feelings and I believe God does too.

He is not controlled by them or petty but he wants our love. Love him now and your reward will be eternal.

The Spirit

The spirit moved free past the flesh . It moved beyond the earth and sea. It moved not in its own control.

It was destined to flee and it went in a flash to its dwelling.

The spirit sees the heart. It seeks wisdom which it found not on its own. Never again would the spirit breathe on its own accord. It was destined to fulfill its mission and nothing could block the path .

The spirit knows not pain, but peace. Peace is knowing that God is in control and nothing is an accident, no such thing as a coincidence. The spirit pays attention to the signs no matter if it be a book or movie there is magic to be found.

The spirit absorbs the truth slowly, but it never sways from the main road. There may be twists and turns but the spirit is never lost. Love is the real thing with God .

The spirit rests in this love in order to live.

The spirit seeks what God wants and would give anything to please him. It thinks more of him then its own problems . A problem to a spirit is only a solution in getting closer to its maker . No mountain or storm weighs down the spirit for it knows the light of love.

The spirit soars higher than human expectation and knows the hidden things from the world are the true treasure. The spirit seeks not approval accept from the Lord. Vanities die, but the spirit knows the Lord is forever.

The spirit shall never die and someday it will soar to its only heaven . It only seeks that which will bring it closer to the Lord and bring it closer to perfection. The material is here but then it shall be gone. The spirit shall live on and on in total happiness. Amen.

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Dreams

Dreams help you to work out conflict. They give you a positive frame of mind.

They give you hope for miracles when none can seem to be found.

They promote good health and peace of mind. You carry this magic where your feet tread along. Your spirit floats free and easy like a butterfly . You are open to the gift of sight.

It relieves stress and starts the process of healing. You can rest and find repose .

You are on an exciting journey full of surprises and mysteries . You solve mysteries that

baffled you for years.

Dreams challenge your reality . They defy what the world believes. Dreams are like faith you must believe like a little child. They encourage kindness which is your real strength . Gentleness can drive away all kinds of trouble.

Dreams can be private , but they also may be shared . It does not cost sleep or money , but it does take effort to pursue your destiny . Money may be a factor, but first it requires sprinkling the angel dust all around.

Take the time to dream for it is a prayer. Wish well for others and you have a chance to find your pot of gold. Try to keep every thought and action pure . Before you fall to sleep let the Lord know you love him.

Dreams are full of magic and love.

Keep your feet on the ground and your eyes on the clouds. Somewhere in the middle you will find your piece of heaven. God loves to see you smile for you are his child. Dreams change your perspective and this change renews your heart. Dream and today will be your sunset.

What I am in Christ

Lord help me to know what I am through you. Scripture says I am a new creation. Help me to know what my new creation is. Even though the world may cast me out I can count on your love!

I do not ask to be blind to my faults, for that is a sign of an insecure teenager. I ask to know what my higher self is through you as you have promised.

My higher self is full of confidence and love. My spiritual nature can reach heights unknown to man. I have the wings to fly and the power to move anything that will block my view from you.

I do not lack anything and yet I am nothing for you are my all. I have St. Michael to fight my battles and to pray for me as you do and all of heaven. There is nothing missing except for me to accept this power from you in faith.

I have all the virtues and the strength to become another you. My hands are your hands and you take over when I falter. I am righteous for I have you inside me. My heart is hidden from the world but you know it like your own.

Take not my heart for I need it to love you. Take not my brain for I need it to do your

will . Take not my soul for it is my only path to you . Take not my spirit for it is the

breath I take to be close to you. Take not my emotions for they are my desire for you .

Take everything and make it in your image .

I believe in that which is unseen or has not occurred yet! The hidden is your manna and may we all find this treasure. I know as sure as I ask these things they shall be given. God give me the strength and courage to accept answered prayers. Amen.

These quotes are from The Little Flower! " I can nourish myself on nothing but the truth . 0 My God , the more you want to give, the more you make us desire. Jesus is a hidden treasure which few find, for it is hidden, and the world loves what sparkles. I felt it was far more valuable to speak to God than to speak about him for there is so much self-love in spiritual conversations! Your soul. .. is called to raise itself to God by the elevator of love and not to climb the rough stairway of fear. As long as you're humble you will be happy ."

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Infant of Prague Novena

Thomas Merton- "The solitary life, being silent, clears away the smoke-screen of words that man has laid down between his mind and things. In solitude we remain face to face with the naked being of things. And yet we find that the nakedness of reality which we have feared , is neither a matter for terror nor for shame. It is clothed in the friendly communion of silence, and this silence is related to love . The world our words have attempted to classify, to control and even to despise(because they could not contain it) comes close to us, for silence teaches us to know reality by respecting it where words have defiled it."

Included Page: Infant of Prague Novena

Tears of Blood

You shed tears of blood .

Not just salt for change,

nor just water for cleansing.

It was tears like no other.

Eyes are the mirror to the soul and your soul bled for the world. Your eyes were

full of love and mercy. The world could only see hate and criticism was all they had to

offer.

No one needed to tell you what truth is. The world it is that is blind to their evil. Truth was a sour lemon to their taste buds . Truth only made them vomit, not

because they knew honesty. They preferred illusion.

Some friends are only illusions for they are not made of commitment.

They only seek their pride and what

is easy. They only puff themselves up

with their egos, not with your strength and love.

Some friends if they really are such,

only see their point of view and there is no other. It is their view that is the best and

understanding and compassion come as an after thought , that which is convenient .

Who really knows the difference between self-righteous christians and those who do not have enough knowledge to think they are better? Is knowledge a gift or a weapon to beat down the weary?

The Lord suffered to bring love in this world where it was lacking. He meant for all of us to come together in peace , yet still many must cling to this pride. Pride a wall which will not come down and so we must all fall. Will we show love and mercy to bring down this wall? God is waiting!

Meditations From The Road Less Traveled-" Presidents and Kings will have their cronies. But the person who has evolved to the highest level of spiritual power will likely have no one with whom to share such depth of understanding . Others may advise, but the decisions are yours alone."

Soul

All hurt feels the same whether it be done unto me or I have done unto thee. The soul lingers as the blood is fresh and as it becomes worn and old.

The soul lingers on a sunlit day and when the clouds are all gray.

Does it not see beyond

yet it lives in the moment.

It feels the past and the current rapture. It sleeps in the night forever watchful as the changes move on and on

and it does not move even in darkness.

It feels everything , but yet is not controlled by anything accept Grace. It takes its time to smell the roses

and feels the pain as a fresh start.

Pain lingers and heals. The pain is never forgotten even though weeds grow up to choke out the memories. They are never lost like the ever shining sun and the glowing moon.

Feel it now and it will soon come again. Long dark nights where it is all alone.

Slow days of dripping like a coffee pot

that is about to lose its power.

One does not ever forget, but forgive because there is nowhere left to go.

The soul has all the stains, but yet

the magic of love.

Love is real , but yet so distorted by the time the world gets through with it. The soul knows love of a depth to deep for words or even actions for it is a state of being.

The soul does not remember the act

but the heart . The heart which is the center of everything that makes sense and then that day everything comes together or falls in to place.

This is when the soul is in agreement with the pain and joy of the living heart.

The heart and soul together divide truth from lies. This alone will drive many off the

path of true peace.

The heart has depth due to the soul.

Move the soul with deep insight when the heart as learned to follow. This is the journey of freedom from rags to riches!

Carl Gustav Jung-" Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you."

Heart

What does it take to reach for the sky?

What does it take to lessen another of their burdens? What does it take to die of a broken

heart, but still go on? It takes heart.

You reached out to a world of shambles and made the paths straight. Out of the darkness

you came like thunder to bring out the sun again.

It was not an easy task, but despite the lack of soul, you did not refrain.

The wickedness did surround you,

but you washed it away with your tears.

The sickness of man was like a cancer,

but despite your anguish your healing came.

Your power was spent on dead souls,

but your love brought them resurrection, instead of death. The pain you bore, was

ignored by many, but not the Father. His love and your goal brought reality into

fruition.

This was not enough for man, so he hung you on the cross to die, due to his shame.

You died so we would not have to and then Easter came.

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As your mother held you in her arms and the Father wept with pride, we continue to

hear heaven cry, as we destroy grace with our crimes.

Lord I weep for all your suffering , but please, do not forget , that we are just dust brought to life with your hands. Have mercy on the ignorant and wicked for we know not the cost.

Take my tears Dear Lord and turn them into healing. Let them melt your heart to save all lost souls. Then Lord take all the tears that man has spent and let them count as our defense. What does it take for you to forgive us all?

It takes heart!

A man found that special pearl and considered all his other belongings as dust. By Janet Gillooly He changed his priorities and found peace. By Janet Gillooly

Purgatory

You are stuck between heaven and hell. You must settle for middle ground .

There is no heaven without consequences and no hell without a little of heaven.

Your mind is bombarded with different angles and everything seems to be a

contradiction . When you were young things were simple and shallow. Everything was in

such a neat category.

It was safe but lifeless. Now life brings joy and peace, but lately it has been seldom.

The responsibilities of life are a burden like your weight you cannot get rid of.

Everyone has become an island and society is more like a scatter of clones, lifeless, boring and self-absorbed. To volunteer is more red tape and beauratic bull shit. The bible is full of contradiction and none come to mind right now but there are plenty. Look but don't touch. Smell but don't taste. The contradictions go on and on. People think they are complicated, but they say God is simple. I see there are way too many facets of him to call him simple, although his heart is the purest. I find it is people who are simple and simple-minded .

Purgatory is a coldness of heart, a lifeless state with no real sacrifice for others. It is the lukewarm state of Pontius Pilate where God says he will spit him or spew him out. So better great hell to get to a great state of heaven . Better a great heaven to get to the deepest hell.

Heaven a place of real love . A chance at dreams never realized. No indifference like a clone who could take you or leave you. Needs down here is another word for

self-gratification. Technology has advanced , but society has declined . I need not say more if you are reading this closely .

So people are too sick for you or you are too healthy for them. What is real sickness, someone who doesn't need people or are people who need people the luckiest people in the world? as Barbara Streisand has sung many times. I would say the way the world is going it is better not to need people. I think it is better to help the poor and needy then get close to people who think they are God's gift to humanity.

So who is in charge? Where do you get real love? Who keeps you learning or in a state of confusion? Love is the only thing that is understood . God is the creator and the answer to everything. He gives you your desires and your gifts. If we forget where everything comes from down to our socks then, God reminds us that we are dust.

God creator of all and total love. Love us through all our lessons. Be merciful to all.

Keep molding our hearts and minds so our souls will be saved and we will be united to your spirit as one.

Bible- Biblical Instruction Before Leaving Earth. This is from the movie Joshua . I hope this is it.

Fear

Correction needed is impoverished.

"Never lend books, for no one ever returns them ; the only books I have in my library

are books that other folks have lent me." -Anatole France (1844-1924)

Fear

Why will you not release me from this one nagging fear? I have had periods of release but still it comes back to haunt me. What am I not getting Lord? Show me the awareness then may I fly above this darkness.

What is the root of this everything? Will it help me to know? Lord show me how to love

you more. Let me not waste

anymore time, for life is gone in a brief moment . Your grace visits me at the time you

see fit. I know not your ways, but I know you are there. Take everything of me that

would not like the exposure of the light and in the light of day give me everything that is

fitting for a King.

I have watched you from afar and I have seen you within my heart. I have longed for you like a doe longs for the eternal springs. Satisfy not my thirst until you have completed your plan. You are the soul and the heart waiting to be released to a world of tears. Use me so your love shall be a healing to the lost world in fear.

You are a force that is on a mission . Let not any stand in your way to pave a road of peace . The world is fading and more are needed to share love among the poverished and the fearful. Let us all be givers so that the Lord's light may shine!

"Never lend books , for no one ever returns them; the only books I have in my library

are books that other folks have lent me." -Anatole France (1844-1924)

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God is Good

Lord , no matter the circumstances of my life or if they do not seem fair, help me to remember that you are good and you will work out everything for the good of my holiness. No matter the loss it shall be my gain in growing in holiness.

We do not seek holiness as diligently as we should, but if trouble comes sometimes we are pruned and grow in spiritual maturity. We cling to the Lord but in all times we should cling to him tightly , realizing that he is our true source of hope and one we can trust , for the Lord loves us always.

The Lord alone knows our heart and he is not fickle like humans , who love you today and cast you out tomorrow . He does not judge you harshly and only find fault with you , but loves you gently guiding you to a more honest appraisal of yourself. Do not deny your weakness like Peter, but confess it so you may be a rock like Peter upon who

Christ may build his church.

Lord I watch over my words, thoughts and deeds day and night. I have confessed to you my sins and I have loved you with every bit of my heart that you have allowed me to be capable of. You are my friend and lover and may my temple filled with your grace be a witness of your generous and loving spirit.

I know that there is no need to talk of gossip or when people judge each other, for you shall bring all of us low , so we do not act so proud. We do the things we do not want to do, but your grace will humble us all. You love us in our weakness until we are free from such burdens .

When we are at the breaking point in our life and we do not know how we will go on, then this is when you , Jesus can use us most. For if some have never really suffered then they do no know what they are made of. Suffering does not mean to not feel it or try to go around it, but to sit in it until the Lord may bear fruit in our lives. We do not get the Lord in our head , but in our heart. It is a way of life not a feeling we get on Sunday.

We need to walk the walk not talk the talk in all areas of our lives. God does not just want one small part of us but all of us. We will probably never get perfection here , but we should treat everyone as if they are the Lord himself, even those we feel we cannot tolerate . For what challenge is it to love only those who like us. Today we take the judgement of God much too casually , as if we should only be like Jesus when it is convenient.

Lord let us sacrifice even when it hurts .

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." -Aristotle

Our Kingdom

Our Kingdom Come Our Will Be Done

Lord, I am a part of your kingdom .

I have nothing to call my own but thee.

You are everything and I am nothing.

You make every part of me to fit your plan.

I walked in darkness, but now there is you. I still have darkness, but not without hope of more light. Help me to please you. Take my sins and wash them away with your blood.

Give me desire for you that is brighter than the sun and even the brightest candle could not match my love for you. I want my love for you to be deeper than any well or ocean welling up inside my heart.

I wait for you as a bride wanting only your tenderness and to wipe away your tears. When it storms I see all your tears coming down which is justice meted out to all of us.

First Lord I kiss your crucified feet, as a sign of my repentant heart. Second I kiss your side seeing your heart and wanting the rewards of a servant. Third I kiss your mouth as a sign of full union with you. I do everything out of love for you. Combine these three and I have hope to keep growing.

You are the reason we live.

I offer all of my suffering to save all

souls for I want none to perish. Please, help me to make the decisions that lead me to

eternal life. Help me to plant the seeds of your great love.

I want to enter every castle that you have in mind for me. I want you to give me a hate for sin and love of virtue. I have dreams, but your dreams for me are greater. Help us to love you more. Amen

"To those who have faith, no explanation is necessary and to those who have no faith no explanation is possible ." Franz Werfel who wrote the book "The Song of Bernadette."

Peace

Everything leads to peace.

Upheaval planted in God's grace leads to peace.

Emotions are signs of stages in spiritual growth. They may lead to stagnation or growth. Feelings are one of the tools God uses to lead us on our destined path.

Is not weakness only there to show us strength? Is not sadness only there to show us true joy and develop character?

We can get lost in the sea of chaos, but if we continue our walk with God, the fog clears away like a misty cloud that is done with mourning.

To come away with truth is like having wings and knowing the only way is forward . After the tears comes beauty with depth . Humility teaches us that we are not the captain of our ship, but we must not drown in an ocean of tears or bitterness.

Our struggles only represent that part of ourself which shall become greater. Our higher self is always full of hope and reaching for the stars.

If we give up the fight then we give up on our dreams and this leads to a death with no promise. Magic is in our souls and we share it to become whole. Reach your hand to a sinking brother and nail him not to the cross. This becomes wisdom and then we know the true meaning of love.

Love is the ultimate motive, for without we are vein and arrogant. So let our spirits reach to the highest throng and angels will be free to roam. Then may be God can be the captain of the world .

Dial-A-Saint-1-888-938-9880 P.O. Box 228, Vienna, Va 22183 or Dial-Thoughts Of The Saints-1-888-938-9881 P.O. Box 881, Vienna, Va 22183

Kill

Kill not with words . Break not the spirit. Be not above where you see others as less.

When did it get easy to neglect others? To take no time for a friend.

To be cold and indifferent

was your only remedy .

Why did you rise above the wind?

Did you not dig deep in the pit of hell? Was it compassion you buried? Or your mind was split between two worlds?

Did the harshness make your heart skip a beat? Did you shut out the sunlight?

Were your dreams hard to hold onto

as you climbed up the long stairs?

What was shattered your heart? Did your mind become mad?

Is it just another day of protection

where you lay in your cocoon?

You see the land of oz in a fiery hell of ugliness .

The games, the competition and the ego are just a typical day. All the sick patterns of

human nature have left you undone . You cannot run , so you hide in a sea of peace where all the little ones go.

Is not the pen mightier than the sword? Is not love the pearl?

You seek out peace in a spirit of perfection . God is your only sanity. So now let the winds blow and the rough waters rise, for you will be on top of the mountain reaching up to the sky.

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The Night Sky

It is like a journey into the unknown, but majestic.

It is quiet and the stars enhance this solitude. The night sky can be compared to the spiritual journey.

The sky is like the mountains we climb which are so high . In the deserts we suffer, but are lifted up again with the light of God. In the valleys we are lost wanderers, but we find repose in the little things.

Lord, give me time again for this sky. I need rest so I may find joy again.

I have been through so many battles and I feel worn out from the fight.

My bodily functions have become such

a burden to me and I want to stay asleep.

Lord, I reflect on the song with these words- If you could see me now walking the streets of gold, you would never want me to leave this place. Lord, this song makes me weep for I wish I could be home with you now .

I have fixated on the sky the way I do on my dreams, but I know you are the only dream that lasts forever. Lord, sometimes it feels like the sky is falling and the world is

crushing in on me. Give me the strength to hold on until you give me the valley again to rest. I cannot shed tears for I am tiered and my body is weary from all the stress.

I do not take the time to see the whole picture so I can make wise decisions.

I know you appreciate my prayers when I have little time , but I look forward to being

with you again more soon. I only feel trapped when I do not use my heart to see your

loving touch at work in all areas of my life.

You are the sky Lord full of light and beauty. You bring courage to help us win this fight. You bring peace when strife is all around. Your grace takes the ugly and turns it into a life of meaning. Your mercy turns a sinner into a saint. I will look up at the sky soon and find the intimacy that connects all in unison.

By Janet Gillooly

"No Jesus. No peace . Know Jesus. Know peace."

Wisdom

She is free to fly.

She dreams and lets them carry her away. She embraces the magic and keeps it inside.

She will someday share this magic again with a special friend.

She knows the magic of Jesus and longs for more and more time to be in his embrace. She does not seek fame nor riches but the temple that is holy and sees all.

She knows things are not seen nor are they as they seem. She loves the deepness of love and the topics that drive her on forward to that palace of peace .

It is beyond touch and sight. It can not be touched accept by grace.

It is the virtues and humility she longs to wear as a cloak of goodness. A shield of power does she see hidden . It is this sight that is most important. Ears do not hear nor eyes see unless they step into this solitude of grace.

She only wants to please him. Man's way is folly. One day man sees and the next day

he is blind . One is only constant and this is her one consolation. Speak not but listen and

then your heart will lead the way.

Is not pain relying on man? Rely on the one who allows your struggles so you may be free. Struggles are the lessons that are most valuable and then like a butterfly you are ready to leave your cocoon. Take not to heart words.hut in the stillness.she knows..wh at is true.

Wisdom knows that the. spirit shall win and embraces only the truth. Pain first the.n the peace of mercy, love and understanding . Wisdom knows the one who is in control;

She-sha1l see-what-no one...else-does..recognize. She shall have faith in the impossible which others may find to be delusions. Delusions are only such to those who have chosen..safe_grounds.,Lift .their eyes toward the skies. Skies of dreams which are made possible to a child and are possible for you!

Reality is a matter of perspective and wisdom knows God is always changing a heart , mind and soul. Today what seems impossible may be possible tomorrow. Reality does not change, but takes many forms. She knows that life is beginning and so on she continues to bless everyone and everything through the grace that is given to her. Amen Wisdom!

"No Jesus. No peace . Know Jesus. Know peace."

My Pain

It is hard, so hard for me to see so much pain . I give people free will, but if you hurt for others imagine what I feel. If only all would reach out to my mercy. I have to allow certain things to happen, oh such horrible things.

I did not intend this world of suffering. I wanted peace for all. I must hold back until the right time.

I know I am not understood, but this is part of my plan.

I feel deeply. I suffer so much that you would wonder how I bear it. I want to be accepted and loved and still I am rejected. I want all to be happy, but still they choose destruction. My innocent ones blood is shed and I weep bitterly.

The vile things people do to each other rips out my heart and yet I give them this choice. They do not accept my gift of mercy and turn their love into a bitter poison which they drink until they hear the screams they inflict.

Prayers are magic to me and I long to be used. I have so much to give and yet so little time. My people have ignored my call and my tears are shed in vain. You my lovely and those who choose to be close to me shall hold the key to end so much madness.

Prayers hold back total evil to reign.

It opens the gates of heaven and invites me to reign in hearts. Let go of all troubles and trust in me to heal all. I shall lead you to your certain path.

Prayer gives hope to all.

Keep anger away and remember how I long to love you. I shall give you rest and magic soon.

Be not weary, but open up to me like a flower in the sun. Be like a babe in his mother's arms. It is time for us to be together soon and forever more. Amen.

A Dead Flower

I feel like a dead flower that has lost all its beauty. I do not die but lay out in the hot sun to bake . My worries leave me unrelaxed.

I have been forgotten like a letter in a box that has not been opened in centuries.

When will I have my time out in the sun? When will I get to be with you again in a relaxed state? My life has no meaning and my hope to be better is like a dream long ago.

When will this hell cease to be no more?

I have always chosen to keep you at the top, but now I feel at the bottom of the heap. Now all I can do is sleep to hope for escape. I have no motivation for change nor for you. Joy is far like a distant land and having no time is like quick sand that gets deeper and deeper .

I have no destiny nor am I chosen. I am a lump of clay that is left unmoulded and headed for decay. Your saints have your blessing but all I have is a curse that will not flee. I beg you for mercy, but all I hear is emptiness like a heart dead to desire. Nothing can fill my longing except you and I feel you gone like a lost memory.

Death is bitter , but yet sweet. Life is a purgatory that drives you mad , but does not make you better. It cripples you and leaves you alone. Eventually everyone turns on you , even God. I am but skin with a heart that will someday be shattered to pieces.

Give me my time out in the sun Oh Great One and I shall be healed. I shall be with you and my sorrow shall turn into singing. Shall a wretch like me have hope to change? Shall you see me in a good light?

I shall have hope and keep trying until I am but dust blown away from the bitter tears. May joy and rest come again .

What Thoughts Are Our Own?

In the mist do we see clearly?

Do our thoughts cause us torment?

Is our mind one mass of confusion?

What helps us find focus?

The long nights. The cloudy days.

We trudge through this world

all alone in a haze.

These thoughts we call our own. We act as if we have the control. We do not recognize the divine, nor the darkness that fills our soul.

This darkness enters our mind. We explore the depths.

Then we call upon the divine

to heal us of reality based on self.

Reality is the divine and our self is the darkness of time.

The erosion may be from the darkness and the love from above.

So any thoughts come from spirits.

We are just the vessel of these wounded and transcendental beings . The larger scheme is beyond our focus.

We know only that which we can handle and even this much causes our minds to

buckle. We get not our strength of our own accord , but that spirit which guides us to the

realm of reality.

In that quiet moment of reflection

ponder if your thoughts are you r own and what is real. Then go beyond your thoughts to

a place of no thoughts

and discover the truth of letting go.

In this moment of quiet God is the ultimate being of origin. He shall give us the thoughts of healing and we shall be as one.

The confusion is of spirits, including your own that is unaware of the truth .

Once God enters clarity prevails and we are on our way home.

My Growth

I thought I knew, but I did not know. I thought I saw, but I did not see.

I thought I heard, but I did not listen. I thought I felt, but I did not know the ways of

the heart. I thought my thoughts were solid, but they were wafering.

You took my heart and carved it out.

It took a third eye or a special sight to know the truth. It started in the heart and then my mind began to expand. Was it a certain formula or was it just the way I treated people?

I hope I am saved by grace and not by my deeds, for I fear I would be a goat cast out. Ever did I climb through the muck such as arrogance and try to hide from my shame. You were true goodness and you were patient with me as I learned my lessons.

It was simple really all I had to do was rest in your silence. You were the artist that guided my hands and made my heart deep like the living waters. You gave me sight and acceptance in a world of harsh judgements and little room for forgiveness.

I lost everything to find you. I really gained my life as the losses continued to mount around me. I was your clay as you molded me and gave form to my life.

I was empty, but you gave me love. It was your mercy that gave me confidence to fly, when I felt like crawling.

To explain your love is like trying to explain a soft gentle wind. Your love envelops gently, but firmly seeking only the fruits of the heart. I come before you now speaking what I feel and leaving free of worry and guilt. I am in your hands oh, great Spirit and my life shall reflect your peace. Love and joy come, but sorrow makes the joy more real.

I have a piece of heaven here within me. I know not what direction the wind is coming, but I know you will be there loving me, risking it all to make me complete. We all have the image of you and may we rise despite defeats. As I draw closer to you so do the fountains of youth. Rush not the journey and your troubles will be few.

Your True Mirror

I have a correction to make your consciousness leaves your body and then the angel of the Lord opens your skull. You have no pain for you are dead. This is a meditation from Tibetan Buddhism.

Your True Mirror

Draw your sins to you. Be a friend to them.

Do not struggle nor stand your ground.

Ask your sins or demons what they need.

Your desires or gods are also a part of you. Ask them what they need.

, wish good thoughts towards all.

\There are no exceptions.

Wish good thoughts to those you do not like and those that are difficult.

Now in meditation offer your body as a sacrifice to the demons and gods. Christ offered his body for the whole world . Now you do the same.

Feed your demons until they are satisfied. Then feed the whole world.

The Lord's angel , she opens your skull and your consciousness leaves your body.

Now your body is dead . She chops up the rest of your body and puts it into the caldron .

Your body is transformed into a nectar.

Now everyone feeds and they are satisfied. Your demons leave or take a different form.

Now the three void places are the offerer, the sacrifice and the one the sacrifice is

offered to.

Now rest in the peace of the Lord .

The Lord is your mirror and he draws your attention to all aspects of yourself.

To avoid the negative parts of yourself or the positive is denial. To accept yourself as

you are is freeing.

Now you will transform because you have formed a dialogue with all parts of yourself. Christ offered up himself without complaining. Offer yourself up to Christ and the whole world, by not fighting but embracing the parts of yourself you have a chance to be really free.

Now your are free to accept death and life. You have lessened the importance of your ego and the vanity of your body. You care for everyone and do not see yourself as the most important or the center of the universe.

You hold on to your problems because you are afraid to lose yourself. You like what is familiar and are afraid of change. Embrace your demons and through compassion your

demons will leave. They will probably always try to come back but through your love ,

through Christ, you will win your battles .

Seek to lose yourself and you will find yourself. Choose love and this will transform you and the whole world .

The divine will guide and lead you to your true Self which is Christ. Amen.

Spiritual Battle

Everything in this world leads to

two paths .

One leads to me and the other

leads to death.

You fight your way through traffic and the stores. This is but the surface of what lies beneath your visual sight.

You fight the inner battle of your mind .

I am the grace which leads to sanctifying grace. Each level brings you closer to the supernatural. You are not the master of your ship, but it is I.

Surround yourself with my kingdom.

The devil comes to steal, kill and lie to cheat you. Rely. not on the

approval of others.

You are where I want you to be. There are no accidents . You are in your private ministry where I may prepare you for your future. The root of all your ills is fear and you shall win these .battles.

I keep you here so you may see my power. You are conscious of your word and deeds .

You shall move beyond this to action. Everything shall be as one.

I am.your heart,.thoughts and spirit. You will let me take over everything . You shall move like a flower guided by the wind. You will flow at ease to the breeze.

Like a ship you must first weather the storms. Then you will move by my power to a world unknown . You shall not fight for your battles are won . There will be no divisions between us. I shall speak and your feet will move in my direction.

I have been driving you forward toward this unity. It is your time soon to reach these heights. I will give you this sight

and then my vision will be realized .

Innocence

I but have to look at animals and children to appreciate the world you have created.

Even nature is aware of your presence.

Your innocence does exist Lord .

There is so much kindness but we dwell on the guy who cuts us off in traffic.

There is such purity of heart but

the media dwells on the ugliness.

Lord I look through your eyes and my day seems brighter. Lord help the priests who have dedicated their lives in ministering to your people. The ugliness of a few has tried to make the Catholic church into something ugly . Give our priests the grace and dignity to proclaim your innocence .

Lord you alone are innocent , free of sin. Breathe in us a heart of purity and may our sins be blotted out. Take from me Lord all my love and my very being. Use me to spread your kingdom so others may live.

Take my crosses, my tears and my joys and mould me into your form. If I lose myself then I find you

nothing else need be done.

You Lord have found me here.

May your spirit drive me to keep moving forward . May kindness be my witness and

may love be my all. You Lord are our only hope.

"

Two Edge Sword

The heart opens the mind to expand. It opens the window to the mind. Compassion is the key. This leads to many angles of one issue, which is complex. Life has so many details and yet looking at a new perspective keeps our hearts alive.

God's love is such pure simplicity, but yet beyond our understanding. Things can seem simple, but yet complex. Life can be like the twilight zone, but God brings about clarity. When you try to absorb all life is and all life has to offer it can be very overwhelming. God seeps in our soul to let us know that love is everything.

Knowledge can puff one up and having riches of any kind can cause us to lose our focus. Love is the only thing that lasts. We must be real or how can we be true to ourselves. God does not deny reality but invites us to take part. The idealistic view is to try to ignore the shadows. We must embrace God which leads to honesty and intimacy.

God's love is a marvel. Time with him is hard to describe and somehow when we try, words lose their meaning. The peace of God, the church and everything to do with him taps into our spiritual nature. Our spiritual nature is really life. So many do not explore this part of themselves with much depth . It is like cutting off your arm to see if you could do without it. It is insanity and yet this is the virus of the world.

We are taught to appreciate our family , but yet God is something discussed carefully or kept hidden like a sin. He is put on the back burner until he suits a person's agenda. We carry pictures of people we care about but a heavenly picture is frowned upon. Be not ashamed of him and he shall not be ashamed of you.

Return to your first love and all shall be well. Your life will flow like the living waters and you shall have food everlasting . To sacrifice your love is too costly and nothing can replace him. Do we not breathe to love him? Do we not sleep to dream of him?

My life began with him and I hope to end with him. A bad ending is worse than a good beginning. Let us begin and see in each other our only hope. We are supernatural, so why deny it and give up our life. The right path is that which leads to him. Is your path the seed of eternity?

Sacred

Life is sacred . Life is holy.

Each moment is a contemplative experience. Lose yourself in God and you find

humility. It is in the still moments that things seem to have purpose.

Our purpose is to love God and transform. Transformation is not one set religion nor black and white thoughts, but a deep awareness of each intricate detail of the sacredness of life. Our experiences or thoughts that lead to growth are not bad or good, but just are, leading us to the purity of God.

Our failures teach us more for we do not spring a huge ego, but learn to surrender.

In heaven there will be less of me and more of God which is the majestic mystery. If

everyone who wanted to be a mystic did it to feel important, they would soon find less of themselves and might find the road too strange.

We die daily and God is life. We empty ourself and God fills us with the true life.

Our false self must come to terms with what is important. Our reality is what God says

it is. It is what he thinks, perceives and knows that is our task to discover.

Ah-men is my sacred word that gets rid of all thoughts and then I do not even think of the sacred word. I do not think anything nor imagine anything. This has so many benefits . This type of prayer is called centering prayer. This is total surrender and emptying oneself of preconceived notions. Many types of prayer lead to contemplation. I find this type of prayer is a definite emptying of oneself.

We are all beginners in this world if we think of God who is beyond all human wisdom and his weakness is stronger than our strength. We may never achieve what we want but someday we will be the ultimate achievement before God. He will say I made you and now see all of your beauty which has been hidden from you all this time. Amen .

)

Hidden

Hidden in a sea of love, madness flies away like a dove.

Rejection, betrayal are weeds that grow, until the great Peace comes to bestow.

Know your great spirit, for others may flee;

this spirit shines among the critical eye and shall not be ignored by the Wisdom on high.

It is not the blind that shall see, nor deaf will they hear,

It is the Third Eye that shall reap the reward, for going further beyond the sword.

It is not the word nor the lips that move, nor how busy you may be.

It is the heart that follows the rhythm and listens beyond the rules of fire.

The mind and heart are open to new ideas, that goes beyond what others say, the spirit moves to each new plane

and rests in the insights given to the sane.

Know your great spirit,

·which is not separate from the heart; and each new insight felt deeply, shall be a new start.

There are no walls. There are no rules.

Only a love beyond the eye

now your great spirit will not die!

Forever discover it. Do not diminish it. Your glory has come .

Your crown is waiting in the sun. Welcome Home!

  1. Machabees, Chapter 12, Verse 46: "It is therefore a holy and wholesome thought to pray for the dead, that they may be loosed from sins."

True Story

I lived in an apartment years ago in Indian Head , Maryland when Pete was my landlord . It was just me and a black cat. I went to see the movie Seventh Sign with Demi Moore. In the movie a certain type of bird in her house meant she was going to have a baby .

She gave birth and died. The next day in my apartment a bird gets inside. My cat plays

with it for a little bit. I feel bad for the bird , so I let it outside. I find out I am pregnant .

I have a tubal pregnancy and lose the baby.

Same thing happened this year in my present apartment. Bird gets inside and my gray cat plays with it a little bit. I let the bird outside. I do not get pregnant this time. I go to Food Lion today and bird is flying around in store. I ask the bird not to shit on me. I said please. The lady next to me says it means death , but I tell her it means good luck. I hope I am right and she is wrong . What is it with me and birds? I know birds in the bible can be messengers or a gift.

2 Machabees, Chapter 12, Verse 46: "It is therefore a holy and wholesome thought to pray for the dead , that they may be loosed from sins."

A mature christian can deal with the greys. Right and wrong should not be so black and white when we become adults. No one really knows how to interpret the bible but God. We will not always know the answers, so we have to leave it in God's hands. Just because you read the bible does not give you the right to play God. No one knows the mind of God completely. I believe God is intuitive. He goes case by case considering all the facts. God allows things to happen and we know not the reasons. Open your heart to God and you will judge less, for God only knows what is sin. We can only guess. What is right for you and your beliefs may not agree with all christians, but you both walk with God . Do not close the door when others challenge you , for you may not be right. The conscience is guided by God. We have basic truths, but do not judge these rightly . God looks at the heart, more than the law broken . Do you see the sinner or the heart? We all fall short and only God can save us. God did not say don't eat meat on Fridays during lent. Lets face it God started the church, but he did not make all these rules.

How do you know if the church is the way God wholely intended it to be? "Janet you ate meat on Fridays during lent off to fish purgatory you go."

: Do you sing that song every year?

The first time I cried while walking up to the cross the song being sang quietly was Lord remember me when you come into your kingdom . The second time was with Linda's very special song.

The process God works in us is awesome. The closer you get to Christ the more you realize the enormity of God. If you have too many walls up with others, it is the same with Jesus. Not that you should open your heart to everyone, but be open to new experiences. Honesty and sincerity are the best of prayers. If something is not right with your relationships, something is lacking in your primary relationship with Christ. Pray to have all of Christ and watch the seed grow. If our heart is open to God the mind will follow. God show us your kindness, so that we may share it with others. God will do what is best for us and yes sometimes the process may be painful, but it is not

punishment. It is God's greatest gift to us to make us more in his

likeness. We must be

real in order to reach the depths of love.

Do you sing that song every year?

I wish you would get me a copy of that song. You have a beautiful voice and the words are so touching. When I went up before the cross, I started crying because I felt I was before the Lord begging him to let me in, because I feel unworthy. I know we are, but it was the grace of God. When you started singing the song, I felt the Lord was telling me how much he had done for all of us and I tried to cry quietly , but I broke down a little bit. I know it was the grace of God . I said a prayer on my way home for the Lord to let me know fully what he has done for all of us dying on the cross. The two hour service was very moving. Thank you for that most touching song I have ever heard. God bless you!

The process God works in us is awesome. The closer you get to Christ the more you realize the enormity of God. If you have too many walls up with others, it is the same with Jesus. Not that you should open your heart to everyone , but be open to new experiences. Honesty and sincerity are the best of prayers . If something is not right with your relationships , something is lacking in your primary relationship with Christ. Pray to have all of Christ and watch the seed grow. If our heart is open to God the mind will follow. God show us your kindness , so that we may share it with others. God will do what is best for us and yes sometimes the process may be painful, but it is not punishment. It is God's greatest gift to us to make us more in his likeness. We must be real in order to reach the depths of love.

(

Darkness

Each step I take upward, a wave of the enemy comes crushing down on me. A wave that is harsh and evil.

Each day I fill my cup with the eucharist. There is nothing to do but fill my cup and share it with others.

The enemy wants to crush my stronghold and wear me down so that life itself is wearisome and so I dream of heaven.

I am in a battle that only Christ can win. I take my steps toward the path he has destined for me.

I will wage this war with evil , if only I can just do God's will. I will suffer this cross for just a glimpse of my special garden. The garden of Christ, Mary and the saints.

The enemy is afraid of the end coming soon. I will suffer but I will not give him my soul. If I end up with nothing or no one there to hold me up I will not give in nor will I lose my garden .

The tide comes but I hold fast to my one anchor. No pain will deter me from what God wills in my life.

,

..

My one- goal -is-to-please -GOO-. l:f I-please- -him I

shall have won the mystery of God.

Eucharist and Mary

Mary has a beauty beyond words. This beauty lives in me.

Her grace knows no limits, so I set my face upon her.

Her grace is hard to describe,

but it is like golden hair , which the sun does enhance the glow.

If you want deepness with the Lord , start with her, for her wound has room for everyone.

She is the star that lights the way. She only wants her son to be loved .

Honor her and you shall know riches, beyond the narrow human eye.

The Eucharist is so complete. Everything you need is there.

Adore him in his churches

and blest shall your desire be.

The words or silence cannot describe,

what the Lord in the Eucharist is except a great fire. A fire of love and peace, beyond

the heaven on earth. It is his Body, so do not be deceived in thinking it is just bread. It is his physical presence as well as divine.

His tabernacle is waiting .

It transforms and it is not lacking .

Oh, the experiences and the heaven ,

may all be called to thee.

There is a deepness in his body like nothing else. It is worth any suffering,

just to enjoy the stream of peace. He is forever hopeful like spring eternal.

The deeper you go the more you will see. It is the greatest treasure on earth , his body communes with thee. Intimacy with him goes deep, so be not afraid to wet thy feet.

Mary is heaven next to Thee. Jesus loves her so should we.

Enter deep before her shrine

and she makes you feel like a child

in wonder for the first time. There is a magic knowing you can talk to her so freely,

when the world would think it mad. She talks to me, let her words reach thee.

"The feeling of wishing to save the world comes very often out of a wish to escape from having compassion on your own darkness , for what is inside yourself. If you don't start there , you will never have true compassion. "-Helen M. Luke

How Eucharistic Adoration has changed my life.

Jesus has peeled away many layers of me to get me back to the gentle peaceful woman I was, only it is more real with him. The motives with Jesus inside of you are always

more pure . He lets me know in how many ways he has changed me. I use to be so angry due to hurt. He took that suffering and made me better . The suffering has left me more open and vulnerable to his love and so I change. I open myself up to him and he does

the real work .

You think that nothing will change and then it all clicks. It becomes so natural your new behavior that you realize what Christ has done. I am at the gas station and I do not get angry at my customers. They cuss, but all I do is try to please them. I do not take it personally . A couple ripped me off five bucks, but it just made me more aware. I

prayed for them and I saw it as I did my charity for the year! Ha! Ha! I had to take five dollars out of my pocket for the free gas they got. I feel Jesus using me to give all of

them love and peace. I see them soften when at first they were angry. It is Christ in me that makes all of this possible. Most of the customers are nice, but you get the frustrated, stressed and hurting ones. You also get the ones trying to steal from you.

I know Jesus sees everything and more and more I realize that I have to do the right thing even if others do not. When Christ takes people out of my life it just moves me closer to him . I can not describe in words how Jesus is just moving in me and I am letting him use me. He is so powerful and loving. I feel he has taken over my body, mind, heart and spirit and I let him. I have a lot more changes to go through, but if it were not for Christ I would not be the mystic I am today . Even when it feels like the world is against me and I feel all alone, I know Jesus has a purpose to everything and for my life. I am going today to be before him, which is something I always look forward to and get so excited. He is the meat of my life. I am bragging on the Lord for I have never felt such great love. He just wants me to keep doing what is right and turn to him for everything. He just wants to use me as his vessel, so he clears out all the debris. I look forward to see what he uses me for next. Christ is real! He will let you

know this if you keep coming to him. I thank my church for Eucharistic Adoration and I

pray it spreads to all churches like fire with the Holy Spirit leading the way. I hope this will inspire others for Eucharistic Adoration .

The Holy Eucharist is the key to everything. Not only receive it during mass , but also in Eucharistic Adoration . You do not know what you are missing unless you go and be in his presence . Sacred Heart has Eucharistic Adoration just about 24 hrs. a day for those

in Charles county.

Sacred Host

Truth in a humble form . Body and soul united. Magic in darkness.

Consolation of the highest magnitude .

Truth is not in words, but in being . Being a light that guides our path. Show us what meaning there is in you.

Our life is in your hands. You are the driving force that gives us rest.

You take and give us what we need. Our soul is a reflection of your love. We have meaning for you willed it so.

Your will is to shower us with your love.

Mercy is not far from your table .

Treasure if not you is a fable.

First you give us milk to nourish our bones, than you give meat for the mature depth that makes us whole.

Peace is the middle neither too high nor too low. Love is the gift that makes the flowers grow. Flow you do through us to the inner depths. If we are aware we have played our part.

You rise in us, we open up.

You bend us, we do not break.

We move forward followed by shadows,

but ever present is your light waiting .

In y.ou..is-delight and.tbis-spreads_ through-us..towar.ds life We act, we-give.we transcend towards our destiny. The center of that path is you . You are the sun that gives life.

The Host! - 'The-Host! This is where it all began for us. We honor and love you.

May your perpetual light shine upon all.

We eat and drink of you so we have life eternal.We pray:.be.foryou.and you

honor our prayers . The host is the greatest life force on earth! Amen!

By Janet Gil\ooly Inspired by Jesus!

0 blessed Host , our only hope in the midst of the darkness and-godlessness that inundate

the earth! -St. Faustina Kowalska

Mom

My mother died today.

She gave and gave until she grew old.

I did not know her you see.

Now I shall never .

She never asked for thanks

and usually she never got any.

She stayed hidden like Mother Mary .

She was the stronghold and now she is gone.

My heart is broken , and no love in this world will replace her.

She gave me life

and now I am on my own.

The things you miss the most are

those you thought would always be there. If I could but hold the moments,

when she was upon the earth.

I would never take her for granted

and tell her of her worth.

My mom is not forgotten as long as a few of us remain. She was always putting others

before her and now only the thoughts of her remain.

My mom is not really dead, but this is my memorial to her. It is not much when you

think of the debt we all owe her. Moms are truly heavenly sent.

0 blessed Host, our only hope in the midst of the darkness and godlessness that inundate the earth! -St. Faustina Kowalska

?

What did I do Who do I know? What is right? What is wrong?

Our worlds are merging underneath the sky. You go your way.

I go mine .

We were not meant together

very long.

Only a moment

and then you were gone.

I loved you truly,

but only ugly you return

when I thought our hearts were as one.

Burn the fire, make it last.

Forever twilight is in the sky.

We may not return ,

in this world as of now ,

but someday there will be forever and we shall not die.

If I go beyond and enter my grave, remember my love

and call it a day.

We only have misunderstood,

the sin of man in a world of words. So do not judge with word and deed , but only as my spirit envelopes thee.

Carl Gustav Jung-" Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you."

/

Twisted

Dead people all around me. No connection. Twisted thoughts lay in waste. I am turned inside out only to stay that way. Never shall I be put back together again.

Thoughts lead only to confusion and deep feelings lead to loneliness. All this turns to indifference. Very few really forgive. Toxic love upholds the universe . Wasted years, wasted life. Meaning is in question . Purpose is going down in the pit.

Holiness is a fleeting dream. Hold out for false hope , for it shall win in the end. Very few connect for walls are king.

Walls will not come down accept by grace and this is a blinder . No one sees what is

important and very few can see this grace.

I am going up that mountain and God says I will reach the top. Grace trickles like rain little by little each day. Then we have an experience and we know we have been touched by God. Why do few only feel or notice the daily drops?

Walls are like a prison to keep us apart. Very few use the key. Many do not know what the key is. Grace comes to these walls and falls away. Grace also moves like thunder to scare these walls away.

Is love what you look like? Or what you own? It is a connection with grace as your home . I wander here. I wander there. I want my feet on steady ground where I can belong.

I have looked at all sides. My mind is about to burst. My body is a cross I carry in this universe. When I die and they tear me apart will they find that pearl? We only tear each other apart to find out we are dead. Dead to connection.

Free us all with the key. That key is grace. If we have it and not use it we find the mountain much more difficult to climb. We can get lost in a sea of thoughts and emotions. Isolation that which destroys connection and love becomes self-sufficiency instead of neighborly love.

Do not dream of influencing other people ... Think of things in

themselves.-Virginia Woolf

"The Prayer of Jabez" which the name means pain- by Bruce Wilkinson

This is a very short little book I got to help me with my addictions. Ask for God's will and with this prayer ask to be blessed a lot without feeling selfish. God's will is better than what we imagine for ourselves. I am only on chapter three but wanted to share this book. Jabez was only mentioned briefly in the bible but his life was a miracle every minute and he was blessed a lot. I am going to say this prayer a lot. He is in 1 Chronicles, chapter four. Things started badly with someone never heard of with a name to hate , meaning pain, but with just a one sentence prayer his life ended extraordinarily well. The prayer is below.

Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory , that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil. -Jabez from the Old Testament

Hunger

Obsessive and compulsive thoughts connected to addictions. Cease addictions, cease the mind.

Emotions that damage, actions that lead to regret , words that find bondage , all this to hindrance thee.

Fear, loneliness, anxiety, worry, sadness, hurt and anger lead to loss of hope. Endless

frustrations, doubt, keep one from the true focus.

Feed on the manna from above and be satisfied. Feed on the Lord hungrily, as if nothing else matters. Paranoia forgets that the Lord is in control.

Insights, understanding from above give way to peace. Freedom is what we seek.

Free to be at peace during all times and to empty ourselves of all bondage.

Love the Lord abundantly, freely, greatly and a lot. May I come out of the tomb at last, to have life abundantly.

Tombstone: " She gave love freely.

She never stopped growing . She gave it all and lost it all for the greater kingdom!"

Oh , that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory , that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil. -Jabez from the Old Testament

Miracle

I know to some of you this will not seem like much. It is not a high in the sky kind of miracle, but then nothing is little to God. My cat as you know was a stray and she was very afraid when she first moved here. We got her the right toys thanks to a friend, because she did not even play with toys. When she got home from the hospital she licked me on the hand. She had never licked me before. Tonight I put my forehead on her forehead like we do to each other playfully. She licked and licked my forehead and then I gave her my cheek and she also licked and licked . This was an answer to my prayers for I asked Jesus to teach her to lick me. I pray about every detail of my life for I know everything is important to Jesus. Thank you Jesus, thanks Sabrina. God guides us in prayer, but I know he uses people and animals to get a message through too! I think a lot of times we are like a cat who is afraid and God is patient with us, waiting for us to love him and love him more.

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." - Groucho Marx

"The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz

I went without a cigg for 27 hrs. Keep praying for me.

This is a short book, but I found it very helpful. I like reading books that are not traditional. I find them helpful and I do not have to talce on any beliefs but my own. Traditional religions are helpful and traditional ideas, but sometimes I need different. There are many ideas that are not really quote a religion . This book is one of these . Even though the public may consider them a religion, they do not.

The four principles are:

  1. Be impeccable with your word.

  2. Don't take anything personally.

  3. Don't make assumptions.

  4. Always do your best.

The things that stand out to me, without really explaining the principles, for the details on these principles would surprise you . Self-talk can literally destroy you and what you say to or about others can curse them if they accept. They call good words white magic and bad words a curse or black magic. You do not have to accept poison in your life anymore. The book is very helpful. Self- talk is the most important talk you will ever have. I love learning and I like spiritual books that will help me grow.

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." -

Groucho Marx

"The Four Agreements."

"True justice is paying only once for each mistake. True injustice is paying more than once for each mistake ."

"How many times do we pay for one mistake? The answer is thousands of times. The human is the only animal on earth that pays a thousand times for the same mistake . We have a powerful memory. We make a mistake, we judge ourselves, we find ourselves guilty, and we punish ourselves. If justice exists, then that was enough; we don 't need to do it again. But every time we remember, we judge ourselves again, we are guilty

again, and we punish ourselves again, and again, and again. If we have a wife or

husband he or she also reminds us of the mistake , so we can judge ourselves again,

punish ourselves again, and find ourselves guilty again. Is this fair?"

No Friend

No friend, no foe. Nor future bright.

Alas I am alone tonight

Just like a thousand times before.

Not one to understand .

No one to weep to.

Just production to cling to

keeping me sane.

No group gatherings for me, except just the one lone man.

I watch the hours fly,

wondering if this be the night.

The night when my heart should fail, and I will die alone.

A few will gather just to see me go, and off to another world I shall know .

I shall see my dad and brother. Times will be like before, When people had time for you, and the conversations flowed.

The times when they saw the good in you, when they were not all that smart in psychology. They did not try to fix you or look down on you .

We were all together because of love.

We had a strong bond that would not break . Now the bond-is broken and I must be on

my way. Heavens ' door is open to anyone who wants to just be themselves. There -is no

wait. Amen.

(

"Excuse Me Your Life is Waiting"

by Lynn Grabhorn-The astonishing power of feelings.

  1. Identify what you don't want.

  2. From that, identify what you do want.

  3. Get into the feeling place of what you want.

  4. Expect, listen and allow it to happen ,

We are magnets. The way we feel is what we attract. This is the law of attraction. More often are feelings come from our thoughts . If we focus on lack of want , we get more lack of want. We are not victims but co-creators in thought and feeling. You have only

to want it and feel it, and a whole new life of extraordinary happiness will be yours.

This is another book from my counselor. I like feeling in control and these books are thought provoking and life changing . We have to do our part . I just started this book,

but I love this one too! We not only have to think something , but we have to feel it to be

true.

I know God promises not to give me more than I can handle . I just wish he didn 't trust me so much .- Mother Teresa

One night I had on my lamp reading and I finally noticed that the cat kept peeping down looking at my book. I looked at her and she had the look like hey I am just a f . cat I can't read. I wonder ...

I was aware of my cat astral-projecting one time but I am sure she does it more than that. I wonder ...

I abbreviated one cuss word for those with sensitive and virgin ears. I cuss to emphasize my point. I do not feel like I am sinning and doomed to hell .

"If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it."- Jonathan Winters

Cat

Tonight I was kneeling near the bed and she was giving me that mystical serious look where her pupils seem to get bigger. I asked her three questions , but I cannot remember the questions. Each time I asked her a question she nodded her head yes four times. That is four times for each question. I kid you not. I did not know whether to think it awesome or get scared. It was just like in the commercials. I thought she was going to start talking next. I am telling you this is a very special cat! I asked her were you black , white , like in another life and she turned her ears out saying no several times. Okay you say so what , oh well if she starts talking I will tell you . We have a very special spiritual connection .

"If your ship doesn 't come in, swim out to it."- Jonathan Winters

The Guilty

There are those who follow the innocent dream. They do not see themselves and never will . Everyone is a villain in their eyes, except them. They go off in the sunset unscathed and never look back. Their justice may not come in this life , but they will be before God and then they will weep!

She searches for those who agree with her tale of woe. Those who will not see her wrongs or wounds she has inflicted. She plays the game to win no matter the cost. Her soul is stained, but she only sees light. She must protect the mirror she sees with all her might. Her vanity wins every time for that is most precious to her. She talks of her spirituality so casually like something she could forget if you gave her crumpets .

She is inspired by the Lord when the fancy suits her. It is all a game to keep her precious image . Her ego will never let her admit the mire within her. Money, looks and her ego are really her gods. She believes her lies but she knows she is playing a game. She does not know she is playing with fire. The higher the flame the more she cries but then when the flame lowers she is back gambling with her soul.

The people in her path are made to feel guilty and she feels she is winning . She has in reality only lost. She has lost any hope of real love. She gives to get, and again when her image is not protected , she runs for the hills as if they could save her. If a seed is planted, but no commitment follows then the seed will not grow. Weeds do not know the divine.

I have met such a terrible wind. A wind with no direction. A wind as deadly as a serpent. Diabolical is she as you do not see her coming. A liar is complicated, so from now on I want the simple spirit who knows the divine and lives to be close to him all the time. If you ever see such a wind run away and embrace the Lord .

