Salut c’est Géraldine, bienvenue sur Comme
une Française TV, Sound French, even to the French.
You might have come across French people arguing.
They’re loudly disagreeing about the state
of the world, and they start adding insults
to their sentences…
This is “un débat," an argument about ideas,
“très animé," really passionate.
But suddenly they share a good laugh and they
go back to drinking wine and talking about love.
...Well yeah, French people just love to debate.
Debates : when and why**
People usually debate between friends.
“Débattre," ou “avoir un débat," as
it’s called in French, is a bit of a tradition.
It has a national history, from Louis the
XIVth to the Revolution to post-World War II
great philosophers…where very famous for that.
We like to talk about ideas, usually around
a meal or a drink.
It’s “un art de vivre," a way of life.
And what are we talking about, exactly ? Many
topics ! Current affairs, “l’actualité”
or “les questions d’actualité," mostly,
like environmentalism, “l’écologie,"
the new President, politics...anything
Or maybe a new idea or theory you heard about
somewhere, like basic income or effective
altruism or some new fad.
Or it can be about something trivial that
you take seriously, like heating up a regional rivalry.
Like we saw before in a video.
Now Americans may be looking for agreement,
but French people are looking for confrontation
we don’t really expect to make a change,
but it’s mostly talking for the sake of talking.
You’ll find that French discussions tend
to be filled with ideas, even ideologies,
more than being grounded on personal experiences.
Not everyone, not always, but it’s a trend
that exists.
Is it influenced by René Descartes ? Descartes
tried to recreate the universe in his mind
and to use rationality to prove that God exists; since the days of Descartes we’ve liked
create theories that can prove whatever you
want, spark healthy confrontations with friends
on a Thursday evening, and clear your mind.
After all, as he said, “I think therefore
I am” : “Je pense donc je suis.”
But why is it so harsh ? **
To disagree is normal in France.
It’s even expected in a way.
Basically, when you affirm something, your
friend won’t think “yes, and….no"
they’ll think “no, because…”
Again, not always, not everyone, but lot of
the time.
If there are any flaws in your argument, you
can be sure your friends will point them out.
No mercy !
It helps, in a way, and it helps the conversation: any misconception you may have gets cleared
up, you can’t easily get away with saying
something dumb or vague, and you realize where
your idea is weak before you implement it.
Still, I won’t deny that it’s tiring sometimes.
But anyway, “discuter," discussing or arguing,
isn’t “se disputer," to have a fight.
Since it’s mostly ideas, it’s not personal
and you’ll never break up a friendship this
way, or come to blows.
In a way, to debate someone is an honor, a
show of confiance, trust, and respect, respect
the other puts herself under your critical
scrutiny for better or for worse, and wants
to hear your ideas on the subjects, thinking
they’re interesting and worthwhile, even
if she may disagree.
Another concept you may want to learn is “la
mauvaise foi."
It literally means “bad faith."
I’m talking about regular hypocrisy ; everyone
has “de mauvaise foi” from time to time.
It means that you start saying things that
you know are wrong or don’t hold up to scrutiny,
but you say them anyway because you don’t
want to admit you’re wrong.
It happens when someone points out the flaws
in your argument: you can either say
“Oh you’re right and I’m wrong," but it’s
much easier to keep on arguing as if you didn’t
know you were wrong.
And it has a role to play as well ! With it,
you can use arguments for a cause or idea
you don’t believe in, so the others can
interact with that line of thinking ; basically
you stick to your position just for the sake
of the argument.
This is so French.
Finally, the notion of something being “personally
offensive” or someone being “offended”
doesn’t really exist in French culture.
It doesn’t mean that you can be racist or
sexist or homophobic, but criticizing someone’s
ideas or beliefs is allowed.
On the other hand, we don’t have the very
American idea of “free speech” as an absolute ideal.
If what you say is really stupid or hateful,
you can’t hide behind the argument
“I have the right to say it !” because we don’t
really care.
We’ll just think someone is stupid for having
those ideas and that's all.
Even in our law actually, free speech is limited
between the other rights of democracy ;
you can’t spew hate-speech publicly, you can’t
deny genocide.
It’s a balance, it’s made of rules and
special cases and compromise ;
to study this balance is really interesting, and it’s
a really good
“sujet de débat," debating topic !
How to participate **
So now you know what’s happening and the
general rules.
But how can you be a part of it ? Even when
your French isn’t perfect ? Well, here are
a few words to help you out :
De quoi vous parlez ? What are you talking
about ?
If you’re doing it well, you can jump into
a conversation, hear the points that have
been made before, and maybe add your own experience
or settle a score
Qu’est-ce qui te fait dire ça ? Why are
you saying this ?
More tactful than « No I think you’re completely
wrong» .
And maybe the other person actually has
a good reason or a point of view you didn’t
understand before.
Tu veux dire que…Tu veux dire que and then add what you want to say.
You mean…
It’s important to clarify the words and
definitions you’re using, or you end up
arguing about two different things in the
same conversation.
Je suis d’accord / Je ne suis pas d’accord
I agree / disagree This one can be useful.
C’est un petit peu plus compliqué que ça.
It’s a little more complicated than this.
It's a special trump card.
Even if you’re not sure what to say, it’s
always smart and appropriate to say that all this time.
And it can actually help you dive deeper into
a conversation !
With these few scripts you should be good
to go ! Be respectful, try not to get lost
with words and concepts that can mean different
things for the different people involved,
feel free to be a little confrontational,
and have fun ! Also, there are some subjects
you just don’t want to talk about : immigration,
religion, or comparing societies too much…
I mean, I know that in theory and with the
right people, you could have a constructive
and nuanced conversation about these topics,
but in reality it never happens.
Even though, I mean
it’s a little more
complicated than that...
Et toi ? When did you see a French debate
? What was it about and who was participating?
Were you a part of it ?
Share your experience (in French if you dare!)
in the comments below.
We can all learn from your story.
Especially today it's going to be quite fun.
The comment section is the best place to start
discussions and ask questions!
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