Ladies and Gentlemen, I fear you may have forgotten me,
but I am Aesop, and I bring you a fable from the future.
To the Ancient Philosophers, 
the world was made of earth, air, fire, and water.
But to the new Philosophers,
the universe is but a quantum fluctuation
in an eleven-dimensional sea of virtual particles 
built of un-seeable, un-touchable, 
un-tastable 
strings.
Well... it's different...
Sometimes though,
how I long for the taste of the salt air,
the warmth of the sun,
and the feel of the cool damp earth beneath my feet.
For we here, tonight, 
are no different than those who came before us,
or those who will come after.
If there is a moral to our tale, it is this:
The theories may change, 
but the story stays the same.
THE QUARK SISTERS:
Surprise! Surprise!
A delectable surprise!
A cold and tasty soufflé from the icebox.
A quantum treat where all symmetries meet
in a masterpiece of strings.
It’s such a nice box!
A recipe that everyone agrees
is a work of genius from the three Quark Sisters.
A tricky feat, eleven times the treat.
It’s sure to knock the socks off of your Mister.
Each bite, you see, has directions, only three
while on your fork despite our best intentions.
But take a bite and much to your delight,
eleven tastes emerge in all dimensions.
MRS. SCHROEDINGER:
A disaster for our dinner.
This dessert will be no winner.
I should have tried a recipe that’s simpler.
The dimensions have all gone astray.
What a nightmare of a day!
My bomba ends, not with a bang, 
but a whimper. Ah!
It’s entropy! 
Oh, horrors, can you see?
Increasing chaos twisting all dimensions!
And symmetries are breaking. 
It can’t freeze the structure of our flavorful invention.
Precipitates in anti-states
vanish in a Brownian muddle.
The Professor will be quite mad.
His dessert is looking so bad.
Where’s that number? 
I must call.
Be calm. Don’t panic!
O, Repairman, O please hear my prayer.
I need help. O, please be there.
Yes, come quickly, O please fix my fridge,
O Quantum Mechanic!
He’s on his way!
O joy! O joy!
Good news and it’s a joy!
A Quantum Engineer is on the way.
His skills unique, arriving as we speak,
he restores the natural order every day.
0:06:51.100,0:05:53.000
He will right this cosmic wrong,
for whatever you may long,
he’s been trained to fix like new each broken thing.
He repairs deflated worm holes.
Got a magnet with two south poles?
He can mend the space-time fabric with a string!
Who is it?
QUANTUM MECHANIC:
Mrs. Schroedinger, it's your Quantum Mechanic.
O thank you for coming over so quickly.
What a disaster. Please come in.
Thank you, ma'am. Here's my card.
It's so beautiful. How it sparkles.
And here's your phone number.
No, wait.
It's your address.
No wait.
It's your phone number.
No, wait...
I'm a graduate of the Heisenberg Institute.
Apparently.
If you have any pets, could you confine them while I work?
Do you have a dog?
No, but we have a cat that Mr. Schroedinger keeps in a box.
Isn't that hard on the cat?
I don't know. I'm afraid to look.
Well, well, let's get started.
You said your freezer is broken.
My cold soufflé has melted away.
The engineer with whom I've spoken
Said to check the dark matter array.
It's just behind the crisper
Not far below the hypercube tray.
I promise, not a whisper.
I'll stay right here out of your way.
You won't be in any danger
But it's best to play it safe.
It's a mystery. Couldn't be stranger.
Please don't worry. Have a little faith.
I'll make a gedankenadjustment,
It's simple and not too extensive.
How thoughtful: I guess that's what you mean.
The repairs shouldn't be too expensive.
O make your gedankenadjustment.
I'll make my gedankenadjustment.
I'll be calm, no fear or panic.
Please be calm, no fear or panic.
The repairs shouldn't be too expensive.
O thank you, Quantum Mechanic.
There! No, there! 
There! There! No, there! 
There! There! There!  
Where? No where?
No, there! No, there! 
Where? Where? 
There! No, there! There! There! No, there!
Where? There's no there there!
There! Let me see if this helps.
Ah!
Who is that?!
O no! It's one of the Quark Sisters.
Where did she come from?
From the parallel universe next door.
(Entangled gods, O ancient ones)
 I must have created a wormhole!
(Hear your daughters and your sons.)
(We entreat your gentle mercies for our race.)
Oh, no! Another one!
(Restore all broken symmetries,)
(Reverse inflating entropies,)
(Set right the cosmos, matter, time, and space!)
Who are you?! 
Aesop!
I've come with the Quark Sisters to help you!
How?
It's your chromodynamic taser!
You've set it too high!
You're ripping the continuum!
Maybe I can collapse the wave function near the rip.
It's too late. You've stripped the harmonic converger!
Quick! Shove your screwdriver behind the event horizon!
No, no! That would completely destroy your universe!
We no longer have a choice! 
If you don't sacrifice my universe,
the tear in the continuum will destroy a thousand universes.
Quickly! Before it's too late! Now! Now!
I'm so sorry! This wasn't covered in the training manual!
I am so afraid to look!
I was so afraid to look.
But it's perfect, by the book.  
My bomba is a beauty and a treat.
The recipe was easy. Just like they said it would be.
Dessert will be so tasty, cold, and sweet!
To Quantum Corporation, we extend congratulations.
Your neurofuzzy icebox is supreme.
It's logic is impeccable. It's errors undetectable,
It strides across the Cosmos like a dream! 
If your box is fritzed,
Your dinner has no glitz,
A mechanic will work hard to set it right.
A solution he'll devise.
A Big Bang, and Surprise!
You'll have your tasty cosmic treat tonight!
