 
A MAGIC MAN LOOKS AT LIFE.

(You Told Me To Write A Book. I Did, Now Buy It.)

by

Michael E. Russell

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2012 Michael E. Russell

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard workof this author.

FOREWORD

My life reminds one in many ways, of that ancient Chinese curse, "May you live in interesting times". I have lived through some very interesting times and fortunately (and sometimes unfortunately) have met some very interesting people. I have been a salesman, marketing executive, special courts martial defense counsel, tank commander, computer guru, bad husband, good husband, father, grandfather, teacher, philosopher, magician, actor, and friend. Through all these things, I have seen life from many aspects. I have tried to draw from these life experiences, some semblance of a philosophy.

For many years, now, I have been performing motivational and educational magic shows in schools and churches. As I have conversed with friends, teachers, and ministers, I have been met with one singular statement--Mike, you ought to write a book. Well, here it is. The vast majority of the thinking is my own, and where I have borrowed from others, I have tried to give appropriate credit. A few ideas in this book, you may have heard espoused recently, but friends of mine can tell you that I have been espousing them for many years ("Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you." is one of them.).

Whether you agree with everything I have written is not important, only that you are able to take something positive and perhaps enlightening away with you when you have finished. I will be happy if it is cause for you to do nothing but take some time to think, and occasionally look beneath the surface.

Grown-ups, please share the final chapter with your kids. It is meant for and dedicated to them. Have a good day. In fact, even more importantly, have a good and fully blessed life.

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to the most fantastic woman I ever met--my mom, Geraldine H. Russell (she always insisted that everyone use her middle initial), to my wife and supporter Theresa; to my daughter, Nicky; to my sons, Jordan and Anthony; to my family, who puts up with me; to all my friends who, for years, have been telling me to do this (with a special shoutout to all my internet family on QnAitizens); to Dr. William Banner, my first philosophy teacher; to Al Cohen, retired owner of Al's Magic Shop in Washington DC, who, through example, helped teach me what love, tolerance, and ethical behavior is all about; to the Sisters of The Blessed Sacrament who taught me that God doesn't care what color you are; and to the thousands of wonderful kids who have been both my audiences and my joy for so many years.

SOME OPENING THOUGHTS

1. A society is at its best when it shows concern for its least.

When a society shows no concern for its senior citizens and children, it loses both the wisdom and experience of its elders and the potential of its youth. All resources are exhaustible. A society where the ruling class relies solely on itself and does not protect and nurture its resources--all of its resources-- has already signed its own death warrant. The elders will die off physically and the youth will die off spiritually. The ruling class will become elders without the wisdom of the previous elders and the youth will become as so much sand on which nothing can be built. Goodbye society!

2. The most effective independence is gained by an effective use of interdependence

(see Webster--"Synergism n. a state where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts"). Solitary success is hollow. It is only meaningful if it can be shared. A single blade of grass, no matter how strong and durable, will never be as impressive as a magnificent lawn, and yet, if not for the strength of the individual blades, the entire lawn would wither and die.

3. Prayer

Sometimes you have to drop to your knees.

Sometimes you have to roll up your sleeves.

Sometimes you have to drop to your knees AND roll up your sleeves

But,

Always remember Who gave you the knees and the sleeves.

4. Numbers don't make you right, they just make you numerous.

If a thousand Christian people tell you that the sun will rise in The West, you would be well advised to listen to your one Muslim friend who tells you to face Mecca in the morning--if you want to see a sunrise.

5. Assholeism is the most universal of all phenomena.

It transcends all races, creeds, cultures, genders, and politics. We are all one at one time, and unfortunately some of us are one most of the time. But take heart, no one is one all of the time. Everyone slips into an occasional moment of sheer genius.

6. The measure of a mans wealth is not the dollars he makes with his change, but rather the changes he makes with his dollars.

Real wealth is more than just having money. It is a state of complete well-being, buoyed up by substantial economic stability. The truly wealthy person recognizes that true well-being is never an isolated phenomenon, but is affected by relations with all of those around him (or her). Rich people worry about their riches, how to protect them and how to acquire more. Wealthy people don't worry about themselves, because true wealth always entails wisdom, and true wisdom, by its nature precludes worry.

7. There is a fine line between courage and stupidity. Understand that no matter how much you want to change a dangerous situation, you are not always equipped to effect a favorable impact. Further, your misplaced courage may stand in the way of someone else who is both courageous and equipped. Don't jump in the water to save someone from drowning, all the while knowing that you can't swim. The other problem with that kind of courage, is that because of your not properly assessing the situation and your potential for good in it, you may not be around to show courage in a situation in which you would have had the capability of positive impact.

8. All the world loves an intelligent donkey, but nobody likes a smart ass. Enough said!

9. Having a handicap is something that's done to you. Being handicapped is something you do to yourself.

All of us have physical limitations, all with differing degrees of severity. But as long as we have the power of conscious thought, we can decide whether these limitations will also fetter our spirit, or whether we will find some way to go beyond the boundaries these limitations seem to impose.

James Earl Jones, a great voice in movies, stage, and advertising, overcame a serious speech impediment. Sidney Poitier, another great actor overcame a thick Jamaican accent to become a star when black men were "not supposed to become stars". The Bible even quotes Moses as complaining to God that his unclear speech would be a hindrance. Matthew Buchinger, "The Little Man of Nurnberg", was only 29 inches tall and had no hands, legs, or thighs. Yet, in addition to being a world renowned magician, he played the flute, trumpet, and even mastered the bagpipes. He was an accomplished artist and it is said that his beautiful personality and pleasing manner made people enjoy his magic without thinking about his infirmities. Christopher Reeve went from playing Superman to being paralyzed. His indomitable spirit refused to let him be handicapped. The list goes on with ordinary people who decided and are constantly deciding to be extraordinary--Helen Keller (for the young people reading this book, she was sightless, hearing impaired, and incapable of speech; yet became an intellectual giant and an inspiration for millions), thousands of wheel chair racers, wheel chair basketball players, para-athletes, especially para Olympians, business administrators, and a multitude of people whom we don't know, but who, more importantly, know themselves.

10. Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not after you.

Remember, correct conclusions frequently come from incorrect reasoning. The real problem with paranoia is that while you are busy looking behind you, you may run into a wall in front of you. The answer is to look all four ways--but with caution, not with fear.

11. If you plant acorns, don't be surprised when oak trees grow; if you fertilize your tomatoes, don't be surprised when they grow up firm and good; if you feed your children turnips, don't be surprised if they hate you. Treat your life like a garden, always on the lookout for weeds and only give your kids the good stuff.

12. If you do what you've always done, you'll have what you've always had.

This is probably the most important idea I have ever gotten from an answering machine tape (thank you, Rev. and Ms. Johnson, Decatur AL). If you are not satisfied with the way your life is turning out, stop looking for something or someone to blame. Frequently, if you look into a mirror, you will find the source of many of your problems. Keep your mind open to new ways of thinking and new ways of doing. If you find that every time you hit your head on a brick wall, you get a headache, have the common sense to stop hitting your head against that brick wall. If you don't care about yourself, at least give the wall a break.

13. Be an ambassador for your group.

As human beings, we all belong to different groups, with different viewpoints, different practices, different likes and dislikes. These groups can be religious, racial, political, business, or just social. We usually belong to several groups simultaneously. Sometimes we belong by choice and sometimes we belong simply by a state of being, such as race and, in most cases, nationality. Differences are both interesting, because of our natural curiosity, and frightening, because our natural self defense mechanisms instantly put us on guard against the unknown or the not understood. The problem arises when we submit to unreasonable fear of the unknown or different. But we can each play a significant part in eliminating this xenophobia by being an ambassador for our group.

When I was a 5th grader at Holy Providence, then a boarding school just outside of Philadelphia, founded by St. Katherine Drexel,, for Blacks and Native Americans, I met a Japanese teenager named Kay. I had never before met an Oriental person. There were 28 boys in the school, which went from 4th to 8th grade. Kay lived in a house across the street from the school. It didn't make any difference what time of day it was, if one of us kids knocked on his door, Kay would come out and play with us and teach us. He was an extraordinary athlete who could play any sport you could think of. He loved us and we thought he was the next best thing to God. That was over 50 years ago, and even though I am smart enough to know that not all Oriental people are like Kay, whenever I see an Oriental person, I can't help myself. I smile.

Even though it makes no logical sense, from the first time we interface with a member of another group, we have a tendency to judge every member of the group, irrespective of the group's size, by the one or two members we meet. Conversely, our entire group is judged by our actions. It is an act of bad logic which has persisted since the beginning of man, and one which will persist until the roach has finally taken over the face of the earth. It will only get better by conscious acts of good faith. If you are black, act in a manner which would make you proud if all blacks were typified by you\--by all groups. The same applies if you are white, red, brown, yellow, American, Jewish, Catholic, Muslim, male, female, Omega Psi Phi, Delta Sigma Theta, Republican, Democrat, teacher, etc. You will note that I purposely left out mention of any hate oriented group. That is because no hate group has anything to be proud of at any time—except, of course, that time when they make the decision to cease to be haters.

Constantly striving to be an ambassador will inevitably make you a better person, and by extension, make your group a better group, and OUR world a better world.

14. Make somebody's day

Every day, bring a smile to somebody's face. Remember, no one has a good day every day, and no one has a bad day every day. So if you are having a bad day, find someone who is having a good day and join their party, and if you are having a good day, find someone who's having a bad day and invite them to yours. The smallest kindness, the little joke made to somebody who hasn't had a good day, the simple lending of a shoulder, if even for a moment, can make somebody else realize that no matter how bad things may be, he or she still is recognized as having worth. Incidentally, it also gives you significant worth, because if you can't do something nice for somebody while you're here, there's really no reason for you to be here.

15. Shun desperation--desperately seek inspiration!

There will always be naysayers and doom seekers who try to squeeze every positive breath out of you—spiritual Smokey Bears who will immediately try to stamp out any positive fire or spark in your life. Newspapers, magazines, and television make millions of dollars telling us how bad off we all are and how we all are going to perish--imminently. If you think they are right, then don't even finish this book, just go kill yourself right now. Go on! Do it! Well? What, you haven't done it yet? Then, deep down you must realize that there is still hope. Well, there is much more than just hope. Look around you. Listen carefully through the din. Great things are happening--every day. Amazing discoveries are made; children who will be heroes are born; children who are heroes save lives; seemingly small actions done by seemingly small people positively change others' lives forever--every day. And don't wait to be inspired. Hunger for it. Look for it in every nook and cranny. Oddly enough, inspiration is usually not that far away--a word of wisdom on an office bulletin board, an observation by a friend, a great performance by one of your favorite actors (or magicians), a clergyman's sermon, a grandparent's story about "the old days". Crave inspiration and demand it--every day. Be an inspiration junkie. Inspiration doesn't cost you anything; desperation costs you your very soul. Desperation stagnates, suffocates, and buries you. Expect to be inspired. Many times, the expectation alone will buoy you up until the realization arrives. Inspiration not only gives you the strength to survive but the will to reach even higher.

16. Live life as an exclamation, not an explanation!

This is not my original thought, but it is one of the greatest things I have heard. Too many of us go through a totally apologetic life, constantly trying to justify our every thought and action, existing without living, acting as though life were just something to be gotten on with. Life is to be savored! Life is to live, not just to be lived. Do something, even if it's right!

17. Never miss a chance to celebrate!

There are wondrous events going on around us every day--lives being saved, lives just beginning, honor rolls being made, dreams being fulfilled, songs being sung, poems being written, first dates, first kisses, first jobs, retirement parties, birthday parties and good old fashioned for no particular reason parties. Celebrate for yourself or for someone else. It doesn't really matter. If you get into the habit of never missing a chance to celebrate, youll find it all brings you happiness. And if you find you have too much happiness, take the excess, spread it around and celebrate that!

We are children of a glorious God, who has filled the world with wonders. Drink the fine wine and squash the sour grapes!

18. Finally, understand that there is no house so small that God can't fit it, and no house so large that God can't fill it.

THINGS TAKEN FOR GRANTED, A FEW QUESTIONABLE ASSUMPTIONS, AND THE EXPLOSION OF SEVERAL MYTHS:

1. Friends\--not acquaintances; not people that make you smile; not even people who lend you money in a crunch—people that if the choice is that they live or you live, they make the conscious choice that you live. None of us has many friends like that. Treasure the few we have.

2. Tomorrow

Hindsight

We often see (too soon) how

Late it was

When first we said "tomorrow",

For it often never comes.

3. God is good

God doesn't have to be good. After all, He is God; He just has to be. We're just lucky, excuse me, make that blessed, that He chooses to be good.

4. Jesus was a perfect man

Jesus was not a perfect man, at least not in our usual human definition of perfect, that is, with no mistakes. Not even The Bible makes that statement (It says that He was like men in every way except sin). What He was, was a perfect example of what man should be. Like us, He got mad (remember the incident with money changers? Oh sure, call it righteous indignation if you want to, but the fact is, He was truly ticked off, admittedly, with good reason, but still ticked). He got scared (remember the Garden scene? Dad, if there's another way to do this, I'm really open to suggestions!). He got excited (remember when He was 12 and got left behind? Three days later, He got "found" in the Temple, still going at it with the elders, evidently having a great time). By the way, in such a huge place as the Temple was (100,000 employees in the time of Jesus), shouldn't the three of them have coordinated their whereabouts a little better? "Oh, I thought He was with you Joseph." "Oh, Mary, I thought He was with you." "Oh, mom, dad, I thought you would know where I was." The Bible says that after that, Jesus went back with Joseph and Mary and was obedient to them. The telling line is "And The Child grew in wisdom and in age and in grace.". If He were perfect, how could He possibly have grown? He probably had a decent economic start. You thought He was born poor because He was born in a stable? Read between the lines. The stable situation wasn't because of lack of funds, only lack of an early enough start. Remember, they took maids with them. Recall, that when the magi came, they brought gold, frankincense and myrrh. I doubt the Magi would have been watching all of those years and traveled all that distance with $5 worth of gifts for a King. When the Family fled to Egypt to escape the slaughter of innocents by King Herod, the angel only gave them instructions to flee; there is no mention of the angel giving them funds. This was probably not a cheap trip all the way to Egypt. In fact, the only mention of Mary and Josephs financial status was in connection with His presentation in the temple. There Mary offered a sacrifice of two doves instead of the more traditional and more costly sacrifice of a lamb. But at best, this is only indicative of a shortage of immediate funds. In addition, building (carpenter is a somewhat loose translation of the Greek, especially since most work those days was in stone) has always been an honorable and decently paid profession. But like any entrepreneur knows, unless you are a major player, there are seasonal ups and downs. Joseph had his own business, and at least one person in The Bible referred to Jesus, not as the builders son, but as the builder. At least for a time, Jesus was also an entrepreneur. Even when He was on the Cross, The Bible tells us that the soldiers cast lots for His garments. Who casts lots for rags? Certainly not Roman citizens! In addition, if Jesus had been born poor, lived poor and died poor, what would have been the point? Anybody can do that. But Jesus was the consummate example setter. He understood that earthly riches are not as important an asset as relationships. Jesus always "knew a guy who knew a guy". But in that same vein, Jesus was aware of both the importance of money, and the importance of money management. After all, He did have a treasurer, even if Judas performed in, shall we say, less than admirable fashion.

Now you are maybe thinking, then why did he tell the rich young man in Luke and Matthew, to give everything he had to the poor and "Come follow me." This is perhaps one of the most misread stories in the New Testament. Jesus appreciated the young man's position. But the young man didn't appreciate Jesus' consummate wisdom and he lacked the faith of Abraham. What Jesus told the young man was, "Sell what you have.". This was reasonable, since you can't carry lands, animals, crops, etc. around with you on a missionary journey. Here is where it gets sticky and where Jesus has not been heard for centuries. He says "Give to the poor." Notice. Jesus does not say "Give IT to the poor." In other words, Jesus is not demanding or even asking the young man to divest himself of everything. The "it" is inferred by the young man and by billions of Bible readers, but it is never implied by Jesus. Remember, Jesus has need of support, and by this time, He has no substantial funds of His Own. A solid source of resources would probably have been welcomed and used well.. But the young man is so fearful of losing his wealth, that he loses his faith. You see, fear and faith can never fully coexist. One eventually eliminates the other. Sadly, he wouldn't completely put his faith in Someone who had often demonstrated the ability to do the seemingly impossible. By this time, Jesus had already raised an official's daughter from the dead, fed a total of 9,000 people with a few loaves and fishes, cleansed lepers, healed the Centurian's servant, developed a great following. Yet the young man didn't have enough faith to believe that following Jesus, no matter what the apparent cost was easily the best choice. And by that lack faith, the rich young man became a couldawouldashoulda, instead of an apostle. Almost a half page, in most Bibles, is devoted to the story about him, and to this day, we do not even know his name, just that there was shame in his game.

But, Jesus displayed attributes which make a person great and righteous, regardless of their economic status:

Courage\--from the time when he could understand exactly who He was and what He had to do, it must have chilled Him to every bone in His human body. He must have fully known the pain, the agony, the humiliation, the frustration with both His enemies and His hand-picked followers, that He was bound to endure, but He went through it anyway, because He knew it was the right and necessary thing to do.

Humility\--imagine being God and not being able to take full advantage of the situation, constantly having to tread that extremely thin line between self-confidence and arrogance. Remember how many times, the people tried to make Him a king and He ducked for cover, because He didn't want or intend to be laden with earthly riches and pleasures? Imagine having the power to heal all of the sick and be world famous, but because you have to balance your divinity with your humanity, having to restrict yourself to healing only some of the sick, only to be unappreciated by many of those you heal, and cursed by those you didn't. Why only some of the sick? If He had healed all of the sick, there would have been no room for faith. Everyone would empirically know.

Tolerance\--despite the flaws of His followers, and there many (flaws and followers), He was able to see beyond the superficial and help these men and women to grow. We often see Jesus portrayed with the crowds parting as He walked through them--not hardly. Remember, everyone knew Him as a healer of terrible, and without Him, incurable, afflictions. He was probably constantly being pressed in on to the point of suffocation--hands reaching for every part of His body and clothes, screams of "Heal me, heal me!" ringing in His ears from a thousand simultaneous screaming voices from the time He woke up to the time He went to sleep--every day. But He tried to understand the desperation of these people and though, to save His sanity, He sometimes retreated for respite and meditation, He never grew intolerant of them.

Perseverance\--betrayal by both His CFO (Judas) and COO (Peter), trumped up charges by the local government, corporate in-fighting (among the apostles); total lack of understanding by his troops of what the real mission was; no trains, planes, PA system, IT systems manager (or for that matter, IT to manage), or public relations manager, and yet He always managed to find a way to do what had to be done with the resources He had at hand.

Resource Management\--Jesus gave up His personal wealth, but He was savvy enough to understand that even heavenly missions done on earth must be supported by earthly funds. He carefully maintained lines of resources and a network of donors. At least two rich and powerful associates are mentioned by name in the Bible. He certainly never abused his relationships and consequently when He asked for a favor, He probably always got it.

Love\--it is not just a saying, "Love conquers all". It is an absolute truth. It is the one action\--and true love is never passive--which can change an entire world for the better. True love says that no matter what happens, no matter what someone does to you, you will care about that person and try to make that person better. It means that you will never forget who you are or how important you are to the world and you will treat everyone else the same way. Jesus was a "regular" guy. He hung out with rich men, poor men, women, professionals, unskilled laborers, old people, and children, and showed the same concern for all. If we ALL did that, the world would be different--MUCH DIFFERENT!

A Respect for Education\--one of the greatest enemies to human progress is ignorance. Jesus was the constant teacher and the constant student. He knew the scriptures, inside and out. And discussed them. Not all the Pharisees and Scribes were against Him. He listened. He listened to educators and philosophers of His time. He listened to common people, and even people who did not necessarily share His views. He understood that education comes from exchanging ideas, and that it is always an ongoing process. He also understood that that process includes not only absorbing what is correct, but includes being able to detect and correct a specious argument. He understood that one of the greatest enemies of education is miseducation. Further, Jesus taught by example. Although He may have arguably came from relatively middle class roots, He gave up the lifestyle to show us how valueless, possessions, by themselves, are. He showed how much more can be accomplished by proper time and personnel management (remember, Jesus' public life only encompassed 3, count 'em, 3 years! And a year of that was spent getting His organization together.)

Thousands of books and essays have been written about Jesus Christ. This has just been my two cents worth.

5. Church will shield you from evil

If Satan tempted Jesus Christ Himself, why do you think a building, even if you assume that building to be the House of God, will protect you? Haven't you ever had uninvited and unwanted guests in your house? Remember how hard it was to get rid of them? Church only provides you with a shield. Its up to you to use it!

6. A valid conclusion is a true conclusion

A valid conclusion is only true IF THE PREMISES ARE TRUE. This is basic logic 101. Example:

All snakes are three headed

This animal is a snake

Therefore, this animal is three headed.

The conclusion is valid. However, since all snakes are not in fact three headed, this conclusion is also false. Do not confuse validity of an argument with truthfulness of the argument. Before you accept the truth of a conclusion, examine the premises. It is amazing how many "good" arguments fall apart when the premises are examined.

7. Good always triumphs over evil\--read the newspaper! The war between good and evil is a constant, with innumerable battles being fought every day, everywhere, by everyone. Individual battles are being won by both sides--constantly. And sometimes, the line between victory is so thin that neither side knows which side won. Apparent victories turn sour and apparent losses frequently turn into victories. A jury convicts and executes a vicious murderer only to find out that they convicted the wrong man. A young child dies in a terrible automobile accident but then his tiny heart gives life to another child on the brink of death due to a diseased heart.

8. The Level Playing Field

There never was one and there will never be one, either metaphorically or physically. Life just isn't like that. The apparently flattest of fields, upon close examination, has rocks, bumps, holes, and varying grades, no matter how much we try to smooth it out. When we finally do smooth one out, it turns out to be Astroturf, which burns as you slide across its surface. If you wait for the field to be level, you will never progress. Of course, the process of trying to smooth it out creates lots and lots of jobs, discussions, and distractions, but in the end, the playing field always favors one side or the other. Fight it if you must, but DEAL WITH IT! Oh, lest someone get too cocky, remember, the sides change at halftime--always\--and sometimes even after each quarter. And the perceived better team doesn't always win.

9. If you work very very hard and keep your nose to the grindstone, you will be successful and be able to grab your slice of the pie.

Wrong, Wrong, Wrong. Slaves in the American Colonies/States worked very, very, very, very hard. Only when some of them learned to work smart (see "Harriet Tubman and The Underground Railroad", the lives of Benjamin Banneker, Frederick Douglass, Elijah McCoy, Lewis Latimer, and other examples) did they and their progeny start to progress. Hard work for the sake of hard work is useless and counterproductive. Proper planning and execution, combined with vision and understanding of the task eliminate a lot of hard work. Smart work, may indeed, and usually does, involve hard work, but the real key to success is to use as much of your brain as possible and as little of your back as is necessary to get the task accomplished.

10. Slow but steady wins the race

Slow but steady only wins the race against fast and unsteady. Fast and steady will stomp slow but steady every time. Watch 5 turtles and 5 rabbits cross an interstate and tell me which group had the most survivors.

11. If you want it badly enough and are willing to try hard enough, you can be anything you want to be

Male Bovine Excrement! We all have limitations. The secret is to live like you have none, but understand that you have many. Go hard at everything you do. Accomplish everything you can. You may surprise yourself. Eventually your limitations will smack you in the face. Don't act surprised, just take another direction. A young running back for the San Francisco 49's got his foot almost completely severed. Even though skillful surgeons sewed it back on, his running career was ended. Years later, however, he actually quarterbacked the Washington Redskins in the Superbowl--his name? Billy Kilmer.

Muggsy Bogues was a fine guard in the NBA, but if Muggsy were to practice 24 hours a day 7 days a week, and want it with all of his huge heart, he could NEVER have been an NBA Center. For the uninformed, Muggsy is only 5'3" tall.

This is an especially dangerous myth for our children, in that it sets up a path for failure. One of the dichotomies between children and adults is that whereas adults frequently speak figuratively, children almost always listen literally. If you teach a child that he or she can do anything they set their minds to, they will take you at your word. Then, when a child is unsuccessful at attaining a given goal, and that child has put all of his or her efforts into the task, and has even gotten tutors and/or coaches and still cannot perform, one of two things happens. The child either feels that he or she is inadequate and develops a low sense of self -esteem, or they feel that some adult has lied to them--AGAIN. It is most important to teach children that everyone has strengths and weaknesses. The trick is to maximize those strengths and find ways to minimize the weaknesses. And remember, whereas you cant be anything you want to be, you can still be something and something mighty special. Just keep your eyes, ears, heart, and especially your mind open.

12. All men are equal

This applies to intrinsic worth as a human being, not to innate ability as too many people interpret this statement to mean. All men are not equal in ability and talent. They are not born equal and will never be equal. Can you run 200 meters in less than 19 seconds? If you practiced 10 hours a day for a year, could you? I rest my case. It should be stressed, however, that in terms of intrinsic worth, ALL men and women, both those born and those in the womb, waiting to be born, are equal.

13. Life isn't fair

Life is neither fair nor unfair. Life is just life. Actions, reactions, interactions with varying sets of consequences, some foreseeable, some not, are occurring constantly. They occur sometimes with human intervention or involvement and sometimes without. They are sometimes favorable (purely dependent on viewpoint), sometimes not. But fairness is not an integral part of "life". Fairness is a conscious choice of human beings, not a state of nature.

14. Money is Power

This is a gross mistake made by people who do not understand power--or money. Although power can bring great riches, riches of themselves do not necessarily generate great power. Money is a tool, a great tool, but still a tool, and nothing more. Jesus Christ, Mahatma Ghandi, Andrew Carnegie, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Adolph Hitler, Malcolm X--none of these people rose from the ranks of The Rich.. Yet the power these people all possessed has had a profound effect on world history. Conversely, the ranks of rich people who have led totally inconsequential lives are legion. Too many people think of money as a goal, instead of as a tool. There is a very important distinction. A goal is something to be strived for and once attained, held on to. Powerful and wise people know that held money is lost money. Use it or it will lose its value or be taken away by someone else who knows how to use it as a tool.

15. Knowledge is Power

This is no Myth. This is the absolute truth. The ability to acquire and control the flow of information is the essence of power. Without knowledge, there is absolutely no power. Every human action taken is based on the information available at any given time. Control the information; control the action. Every great elected leader, every dictator, general, CEO, and accountant knows this (don't sell accountants short; remember the IRS is nothing but a big accountant with an awesome collection function). World intelligence networks which control more of our fate than we like to think, have as their principal goal, the acquisition and control of information. The amount of power a person or group of persons has, is in inverse proportion to the knowledge they have. Blacks in this country have been controlled for centuries because of a lack of self-knowledge. We were taught until very recently that no one of a dark race had contributed to human development, thus all people with dark skins were worthless. Without knowledge to the contrary, too many black people actually bought into that lie. The lie, to some degree, even persists today, because much of what has been accomplished by black people in the past and in the present is still unknown to, and in all too many cases, actually hidden from, many--black and white.

We pay doctors, lawyers, CPA's, politicians, not because of their skills, as you may think, but because of their knowledge. Their skills are merely good application of their knowledge. They know how to get things done that we don't! Enough knowledge can overcome a lack of innate skill. All the innate skill in the world, however, will never overcome a lack of knowledge. There is a great story about a computer systems genius who worked for a firm for 30 years. After an almost legendary career, he retired. The day after he retired, he received a call from the firm telling him that all of their systems had crashed and no one could identify the problem. He sadly reminded them that he had retired. In desperation the CEO told him that they would pay him anything to come out of retirement just long enough to resolve their problem, since they were losing 10's of thousands of dollars every day. He agreed and came back to examine the system. After about 15 minutes, he pointed t o a single piece of equipment and marked an "X" on the defective component. The company replaced the part and the system functioned perfectly. The CEO was overjoyed and asked the man what he was going to charge him. The man said, "$100,000". The CEO gasped, but the man held firm and reminded the CEO of his promise of "anything". The CEO said, "Well at least give me an invoice so the accountant doesn't kill me" The expert tendered an itemized invoice the next day. There were two line items: Item 1: 1 each , "X"--$1; Item 2: knowing where to put it--$99,999.

16. Money Cant Buy Happiness

Sure money can buy happiness. First you must understand that all too often the words happiness and joy are used interchangeably. They are not the same thing. Happiness is ephemeral. It comes and goes depending on given situations. Give me a million dollars and trust me, I am a happy camper. Follow it up with a million and one dollars of accounts payable and I am somewhat less than happy. What money cannot buy is joy. Joy is a gift from the Holy Spirit, which allows us to realize that through all of lifes ups and downs, through the turmoil and the din and through the wonderful times, our loving God is constantly and consistently with us and guiding us to Him. It is a gift which many people choose to give up, but it is a gift which neither money can buy, nor can it be taken away--ever.

17. White, Black, Red, Brown, Yellow, male, female (choose one or more) people have a natural hold on goodness and intelligence

See treatise on assholeism found elsewhere in this writing. History shows us extreme cruelty, greed, pride, ignorance, intolerance and folly in virtually every culture. Chinese, Mexican, African, Japanese, Russian, Sioux, Italian peoples have all been guilty. But all of these same peoples have contributed greatly to human development at one time or another. All people and peoples have the seeds of greatness and the seeds of self-destruction sown within them. All can be fantastic and all can be demonic. All can exhibit genius, and all can be complete imbeciles. All can contribute to the betterment of all--once all realize this simple truth.

18. The American Melting Pot

Who needs it? Why would you want always to have one single bland flavor. Look at it instead, as a vegetable stew--throw in the creative and rhythmic juices of Africa; throw in the genius of Asia; stir in the rich heritage of the original Americans; dump in the will to survive of Europe; throw in the excitability of the Middle East; mix in the philosophy of love of Christianity, the work ethic, patience, and faith of Judah, the power and majesty and discipline of Islam. Keep the pot from boiling over, stir well, and enjoy the best stew in the entire world. Incidentally, I am here writing about the best principles of Christianity, Judaism, and Islam, not the frequently unprincipled practice of each.

19. The 1st Amendment forbids mention of God in schools or government funded facilities

Read the 1st Amendment to the U.S. Constitution very carefully. It says Congress shall make no law respecting the establishment of religion. It says nothing about God. To say that the mention of God is tantamount to establishing religion is to have everything backwards. God does not fall under the purview of religion. Just the opposite, religion falls under the purview of God. God exists completely independently of any religion. Religion is merely the form that human beings use to worship and to attempt to define God and the precepts of God. To say that the mention of God is tantamount to the establishment of religion is to say that the mention of books is tantamount to the establishment of a public library. Since God is a term used by people who do not profess any religion and by people who specifically decry religion, the argument that God and religion are synonymous is fallacious at best and specious at worst.

FOUR FAVORITE FABLES

THE NON- CONFORMIST BIRD

Once upon a time, in the North, there was a non-conformist bird. When all of the other birds decided to go South for the winter, he said, Im my own bird! I dont have to do what everyone else does! The other birds tried to tell him that he had only been born this season and it would behoove him to listen to the older more experienced birds. But the non-conformist bird just laughed and said he couldnt see why he had to fly hundreds of miles when he was just fine where he was. Well, in late November after all of his friends had flown South, a cold wind came and the sun didnt stay out as long as it did in the summer, and the non-conformist bird began to regret not listening to the older birds. Penitently, he packed his little birdie bags and started flying south. He had not gotten very far when he was caught in a huge snowstorm. The cold, wet snow accumulated on his little birdie wings and he came crashing to the ground in a large field. Soon he could feel his little body freezing and the life oozing out of him. Just then a cow came along and pooped on the little birdie and the little birdie thought, Oh, how awful! It is not bad enough that I am freezing to death, but now I am covered with cow poop! But a strange and wonderful thing happened. The cow poop was warm and had started to thaw his little birdie body. He could feel the life coming back into him. And then a horse came over and licked all of the cow poop off of him. The little birdie was soooo happy that he began to sing loudly. A cat heard him singing, came over to him, and promptly ate him up.

There are three morals to this story:

1. Everybody who craps on you isnt your enemy.

2. Everybody who takes crap off of you isnt your friend

3. And finally, if youre warm and happy, even if youre in a pile of crap,

KEEP YOUR STUPID MOUTH SHUT!!!

THE TALE OF THE GOLDEN SCREW

Once upon a time, there was a little boy who had a golden screw where his navel should have been. He was miserable, because for years people would point him out and laugh at him. In the hospital where he was born, all of the nurses, doctors and even other babies parents, would stare at him and point at him. When he got older, his babysitters would call up their boyfriends so that they could come over and laugh at him. When he got still older, he couldnt go swimming because everybody would stare at him. One day, one of his true friends told him, Why dont you pray to God to remove the golden screw? That night, the little boy got down on his knees. Dear God, he prayed, please, please, please, remove the golden screw! That night the angel with the Golden Screwdriver came down from Heaven and removed the golden screw. In the morning, the little boy woke up, rolled his sheet back, and pulled up his pajama top. When he saw that the golden screw was gone, he was so verrrry happy. He jumped out of bed-------and his butt fell off.

This story has only two morals

1. Be careful what you pray for, you just might get it.

2. Whether we understand it or not, God has a purpose for everything

THE DESERT

A man was crossing a vast desert. Long out of food, water, and hope, he was not far from death. His throat was parched; his head was light; and several vultures were circling ever lower. In the depths of his despair and misery he saw in the distance a mirage of a water pump. He thought, What cruel irony, that as I lie dying of thirst, the last thing I will see is a mirage of the very thing that could save me. But for no good reason, he kept crawling toward the mirage. As he got close, a wondrous thing happened. The water pump was no mirage. By some miracle, this turned out to be a real water pump, in the middle of the desert. There was cup of water sitting on the trough by the pump and the man eagerly grabbed the cup. In the instant before he would have drunk, he noticed large writing on the cup, DO NOT DRINK THIS WATER, USE THIS WATER TO PRIME THE PUMP. The man remembered a friend of his who owned a farm who used to talk about priming the pump, and so he poured the water into the well. He pumped the handle several times and water came gushing out of the pump. There was so much water, that he drank mightily, splashed himself in disbelief and even washed his face and hands. He stayed there for another day and felt as renewed as he did when he first started this journey, which thanks to this pump, he was going to be able to finish. After drinking one more cup of water, he went to put the cup back when he noticed large writing on the other side of the cup, DO NOT LEAVE THIS CUP EMPTY, PUT SOME WATER IN THE CUP. The man put some water in the cup and went on to complete his journey.

There is no punch line to this story, no cute moral. It is a story to remind us that we are all at some time blessed by the kindness of strangers. But we must remember that sometimes we all have to be that stranger who bestows the kindness. It doesnt necessarily have to be a big kindness. Giving a thousand dollars to a person who has millions, isnt nearly as beneficial as giving a meal to a person who has nothing. The gifts each of has, whether talent, riches, wisdom, or even faith, are not meant to be hoarded like some buried treasure. No they are meant to be shared-- willingly and lovingly. And the more gifts we are given, the greater the responsibility we have to share. As Jesus said, Of him who is given much, much is required.

OF HEAVEN AND HELL AND FORKS

A righteous man died and was brought to the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter threw his arms around the man and welcomed him to Paradise. The man responded in a curious manner. St. Peter, said the man, I have an unusual request to make of you. St. Peter thought he had probably heard every strange manner of thing that men could utter (having uttered more than a few of them himself, during his time on earth). Certainly I will grant any request within my power. What is yours? The man said that since he was obviously bound for Heaven, he was truly curious as to what was the nature of Hell, and if it would not endanger his hard won salvation, could St. Peter arrange for him to see a vision of Hell. St. Peter said, I think I can arrange that. With that, St. Peter actually brought the man to the very Gates of Hell, so that the man could look in. The man saw an odd sight. Right there at the entrance was a huge banquet table filled with every kind of delicacy and culinary delight a person could want, yet there was food wasted all over the table and all over the floor. In addition the people had food all over them and were grumbling and cursing and obviously still very hungry. Why are these people so unhappy and why is food everywhere except in their mouths?, asked the man. St. Peter simply said, Look at the forks.. The man looked on the table and realized that the forks were enormous, at least three feet long. He became almost instantly overwhelmed by the same feelings of misery born of frustration which the residents of Hell were experiencing and asked St. Peter to take him away immediately. This, St. Peter did, and brought him to the Gates of Heaven. As the man entered Heaven, he was shocked to see the identical setup of culinary delights as he had seen in Hell, except that no food had been spilled on the table or on the floor. Everyone was happy and full. To make things even stranger, the man noticed that the forks in Heaven were also at least three feet long! St. Peter,, the man asked incredulously, why are these people so full and happy while the people in Hell are so empty and miserable. The setup is the same! St. Peter smiled and said, Yes, my son, but these people have learned to feed each other.

A Reflection

In the final analysis, only five things truly separate us from the animals:

1. The ability to recognize and give homage to The Creator;

2. The ability to laugh at ourselves;

3. The search for Raison d'etre--a reason for being.

4. A recognition of our place on the planet

5. The need to justify our actions

Only human beings have a conscious recognition of a divine presence. Only human beings are moved to song and prayer and to a constant search for reunification with that divine presence. Ironically, this ability to recognize, yet not fully define, is both our salvation and our damnation. Our finest hours as mankind have been in service of The Creator, and our darkest hours have been in each group's efforts to force its concept of The Creator on others.

Incidentally, no great teacher, including Jesus, ever made forced belief a requirement.

Secondly, the ability to laugh is found nowhere else in the animal kingdom. This ability to laugh at ourselves gives rise to creativity, for when we can laugh at our own folly, we can achieve the objectivity necessary to correct it. The closest that other animals come to this is in juvenile play, prominent only among certain species, notably higher mammals, such as cats and primates. But here, the object of the play is only to train for survival, not to foster possible intellectual or cultural growth. Monkeys eat what they have always eaten, and lions hunt the way they have always hunted. They don't laugh at each other's jokes or compare notes, or say, "Boy, I really screwed that up. Stop laughing and tell me what went wrong." Laughter is absolutely essential to growth. Too much seriousness leads to destructive creativity (Hello there, Hiroshima, Auschwitz, Bosnia, KKK, World Trade Center)

Animals are not conscious of their place on the planet, only their place in whatever locale they find themselves. Wolves don't kill with the intention of "thinning out the herd". Beavers do not build dams for the benefit of all of their little woodland friends and purple martins do not eat mosquitos to cut down on the incidence of malaria and yellow fever. Only man consciously changes the environment for better--and sometimes for worse.

Only human beings need a reason for being. It is this absolute force which drives our need for direct interface with The Creator, because in the final analysis, He is the only One with the definitive answer to that question, "Why am I here?!". Raison d'etre is why we experience pride, for pride, in all of its forms, both good and bad, expresses the belief that we have found that reason. Pride in our accomplishments says that we believe we have made a difference, that there is a place for us on the planet. Pride in our ancestors, our culture, our race, our country reflects our belief that we have the potential for making a difference. Other animals never question why they exist nor even try to justify their existence--only human beings do.

Finally, only human beings attempt to justify their actions, or even feel the need to justify their actions--both good and bad actions, but especially actions which we feel are unacceptable. Other animals do not make excuses. A cat kills a fly simply because it wants to. A cowbird lays its eggs in other birds' nests simply because it does not want to be bothered with raising its own young. Dogs engage in sex simply because for a female dog, it is in heat and for a male dog, simply because a female dog is around (oh, oh, it looks like for the male, things don't change too much from species to species).

ROADS--THE ROAD IS THERE, EVEN IF NOBODY SEES IT.

There is no guaranteed road to success, but there are numerous guaranteed roads to failure, and each road will get you there.

THE ROADS TO FAILURE

The 4 I's

Irresponsibility

The major difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is that successful people do the things that unsuccessful people are unwilling to do. Responsibility is not easy, but it is necessary. Don't run from it, embrace it, squeeze it hard and be prepared for an outpouring of the juice of success.

Intractability

Change is inevitable. It is fine to withstand the force of change, when that change is decidedly for the worse, but withstanding change for the better is as harmful as not withstanding change for the worse. And not being able to discern the difference is tragic.

Invisibility

If your presence is not seen or felt, your voice will not be heard.

Ignorance

"He who knows not and knows not he knows not; he is a fool.

Shun him.

He who knows not but knows he knows not; he is sincere.

Trust him.

He who knows and knows not he knows; he is asleep.

Awaken him.

And he who knows and knows he knows; he is wise.

Follow him".

(Anonymous, but worth noting here.)

All of life's decisions are based on available information. Inaccurate or insufficient information inevitably leads to failure. DO YOUR HOMEWORK, no matter how long it takes. Yours may not always be the first tent up, but when the wind stops blowing, yours may be the last tent standing.

The LP's

Lack of Purpose and Direction

If you lack purpose, you tend to go nowhere at all, which brings into play a simple law of physics, "A body at rest tends to stay at rest.". On the other hand, if you lack direction, you have no assurance of going anywhere in particular. Monty Python, the very successful British comedy troupe had a wonderful satire of the Olympics. One of the events was the "100 meter dash for people with no sense of direction". When the starter's pistol went off, the runners went everywhere except toward the finish line. No one finished the race.

Lack of Planning

Prior planning prevents poor performance (military calls this the 5 p's). The old expression, "People don't plan to fail--they fail to plan." is all too true. Even serendipity, accidental good fortune, usually occurs because a plan took an unexpected course. If you don't plan for success, you frequently will not recognize success or success opportunities when they come along. A bad plan is better than no plan at all, because a bad plan at least can be corrected.

Lack of Position

When your ship comes in, don't be at the airport. It is not enough just to have the right tools for the right job. You have to know where the "right job" is, when the "right job" is, and be sure that you are in a mental, physical and fiscal position to take advantage of the opportunities that the "right job" offers. Incidentally, this goes right back to planning. One of the reasons most people are not successful is that they never planned to be successful or even envisioned themselves as successful. Consequently, opportunities presented themselves, but these people were not around. They were out of position.

Lack of Positivity

If you don't think it can be done, guaranteed, you will not be the one to do it when it does get done. A positive attitude will not guarantee success, but a negative attitude will almost always guarantee failure.

SUCCESS HAS NO ROADS, ONLY SEVERAL PATHWAYS, ALL OF WHICH MUST BE TRAVELED SIMULTANEOUSLY

Integrity

Do what is right, not just what is practical. Integrity is not relative. Having "some" integrity is like being "somewhat" pregnant. The thing about integrity is either you have it or you don't. The best definition of integrity I have ever heard is , "integrity is what you do when you don't think anybody is watching you."

Intelligence

Hard work is sometimes necessary. Smart work is always mandatory. Take the time to determine what is the most effective and least time consuming way to get a job done. You are granted a block of only 24 hours in a day. You can't extend it, nor can you get it back. Once it's gone, it's gone. Learn to eliminate the "busy" work from your task. If an action does not have a real bearing on your objective--don't do it. Don't devote two hours to a task, which if properly planned would take one hour. In the end, no one will care how busy you were, if the objective was not accomplished.

Persistence

Persistence wins where sheer talent often fails. But be careful, because unwarranted persistence becomes Intractability.

Vision

The difference between excellence and greatness is VISION. Don't just see what is there. See, not imagine, but see what COULD be there. Most of the great field goal kickers in professional football have one thing in common. They say that before they ever kick the ball, they visualize, to the point of actually seeing, the ball going through the uprights. If you can't "see" it, then for you, it probably will never appear.

FINALLY, THE GAME OF LIFE EXPLAINED SO EVERYONE CAN UNDERSTAND IT!!!

IF YOU DON'T GET IN THE GAME, YOU WILL NEVER SCORE.

This may seem axiomatic, but the simple fact of the matter is that most people don't won't get into the game. They stay on the sidelines or in the stands and watch as others play. They complain about how much the players make, or how a particular player performs on a particular night, but they never make an honest effort to get into the game--any game. The usual excuse is that "I could never do that", or "I'm not gifted that way". First, you will never know if you can do something unless you try it. Second, EVERYONE is gifted, admittedly some more than others, and not all in the same way. But everyone is gifted. Take some risk, not blindly, but the risk that comes from faith. No child ever learned to ride a bike with the training wheels on. If you dont take off those training wheels, you will never know what your true capabilities are. Sure you will fall down a couple times, but remember the pure exhilaration you felt the first time you rode down an entire block on two wheels-- all by yourself?!

So quit your bellyaching and get into the game.

THERE IS A GAME FOR EVERYONE TO GET INTO.

Most people don't get into the game because they are afraid that they won't score-- they're afraid of failure. There is only one kind of person who has never failed--a person who has never tried anything. All successful people fail. Many successful people fail a lot. But they stay in the game and learn from their failures. At worst, they realize that they are in the wrong game and get into another one. Most of all, successful people realize that failure at a given task is only permanent when they decide that it is permanent.

A FEW DEFINITIONS

entrepreneur\--someone who will do almost anything to keep from getting a job

job\--something you do to make money, even though frequently you don't particularly want to do it, nor even particularly care if it gets done

profession\--something you are, and wonder of wonders, even though you can't imagine being anything else, somebody and sometimes, if you're lucky, lots of somebodies, give you money for it.

life\--the only place where there's always hope

they\--the source of all problems (they started every fight, every war, stole your best girl, got your promotion, and got every break you thought you should have had. Damn them!)

trouble\--when your mother calls you by your full name

double trouble\--when she includes your middle initial

perdition\--when you become someone elses child (e.g., mother talking to father, Let me tell you what YOUR son did today)

home\--where your heart had better be, or it (home) won't be there either (absence makes the heart go wander)

senior citizen\--young person who got lucky

youth\--senior citizen in training

gun\--something you do to your engine; should never be used to kill a human being

I\--squeezes out "you", and if used too much causes 2nd person deafness and extreme 3rd person irritation

race\--a defined distance to be covered as swiftly as possible by humans or other living species--not a relevant term when evaluating human beings

label\--a word used to describe the contents of a thing or to reduce a person or group of persons to "thing" status. note: cans and bottles have to accept labels; people do not.

statesman\--n. archaic, a politician whose only agenda is to help the people, all of the people of his/her country.

human being\--still a work in progress, sadly or gladly (purely dependent on point of view), may never be completely defined

bitch\--a female dog; a complaint; sometimes called a beef, though there is no known relationship to cows. Should NEVER be used to refer to a human being.

child\--an unpolished gem of God and nature. It has many more facets than the finest diamond and requires extreme care. It can provide more sparkle than a thousand stars, but is the most fragile of all gems. It scars easily, but is absolutely priceless.

child abuse\--the exact opposite of first thought in this book, also the first step in total self-destruction of a society

generation gap\--a phenomenon caused by extreme restriction of eyes, ears, and mind, with simultaneous explosion of verbiage, leading to

reciprocal "we're always right; you're always wrong!" syndrome. See "Assholeism" in Opening Thoughts.

bravery\--doing what's right because you don't care about what happens to you, or because you think your act is so together that nothing can touch you.

courage\--doing what's right because even though you're scared to death of what's going to happen to you, you're more concerned about what's going to happen to somebody else.

great courage\--when you don't even personally know that somebody else

Faith—letting your feet dangle when you are in the arms of God. Remember when you were a kid and your dad had you in his arms and your feet were dangling in the air, but it didn't bother you because, after all, Dad would never let you fall? Yeah, faith is like that, only bigger.

Fear—the opposite of faith. Oh you thought it was the opposite of bravery. No, the opposite of bravery is cowardice. As explained earlier, opposites eventually cancel one or the other out. If there is faith, there is no need for fear, and eventually fear high tails it. Or vice versa. The lack of fear is faith, the lack of faith is fear.

mother\--a female who gives birth to a child

mom\--a female who gives life, including hers, to her child; also, when used as an exclamation, the most expensive word a female can hear from her child in a toy department.

father\--male who directly helps cause conception of a child

dad\--male, see "mom"

class\--a combination of selflessness, consistency in doing the big things right, and understanding the importance of doing the little things at just the right time for just the right reason.

A single rose, delivered on a rainy day just to cheer someone up, shows far more class than a dozen roses sent just to impress.

In a tense NFL game between the Washington Redskins and the Arizona Cardinals in 1997, Darryl Green, inarguably, the premier cornerback in the league at the time, had just successfully defended on a long pass play. The intended receiver was running out of control, sure to crash into a wall, when Darryl realizing the predicament, unhesitatingly reached out and grabbed the opposing player's uniform and pulled him back from certain injury. It wasn't his duty, only his classiness. And class doesn't brag, it just does. I talked to Darryl several years later and he didn't even remember the incident.

cool\--a state of being, characterized by a complete lack of excessive emotional heat combined with an intuitive sense of class. In this context, the opposite of cool is not warm, but rather "uncool".

jive\--description of a state of uncool exacerbated by an inflated sense of self importance.

A COUPLE OF LISTS

1. Wastes of time

a. hypocrisy-let your image reflect who you are; don't waste time trying to live up to an image of what you think people want to you to be

b. envy\--being jealous of another's position or possessions begs two questions. Could I do that? Can I get that? If you can, just get up and do it or get it. If you can't, take pleasure in the fact that someone else could. Always look for joy. Don't worry about looking for pain. If you live long enough, pain will find you without you having to do anything at all.

c. hatred\--an absolute pure waste of time. True hatred is always active. It requires the hater to do something, or at least dedicate time to thinking and wishing negatives. Nothing negative is deserving of that much of your time and energy. Turn that energy into fulfilling some of your dreams instead of worrying about ruining someone else's. Time is precious and limited. In the end, hatred usually does more damage to the person hating than to the person hated.

d. despair\--the extreme opposite, not of hope, as would seem to be the case, but of arrogance. It is the feeling, that not only can no one help you, but that you are not even deserving of help. Your status as a human being and a child of The Almighty, makes you deserving. Stop wasting your time and go get some help.

f. worry\--either you can fix it, or you can't. If you can, fix it. If you can't, all the worry in the world will not change the situation. It will, however, blind you to possible solutions. n.b. read on a barbershop wall in the 1950's-- "Worry is like a rocking chair; it keeps you busy, but it doesn't get you anywhere."

g. extreme realism\--gets in the way of dreams. Be aware of what the situation is, but always be mindful of what it could be.

h. revenge\--like a disease ridden boomerang, it begins an endless and fruitless cycle of destruction, the beginning of which is frequently forgotten and the end of which is seldom seen, until it hits you—once again

2. GIFTS

a. life\--it came as a surprise to you and continues full of surprises, some good, some bad. Enjoy the good ones and try to learn from the bad.

b. time\--a rare and precious commodity. It is a most unique commodity. You cant touch it. You cant taste it. You cant see it, and you cant hear it. When you waste it, you cant replenish it. Yet it is so important that when you run out of it, you die.

Don't waste anybody's or let anybody waste yours. Once it is gone, it can never be regained. You can make up for many lost opportunities, but not for any lost time.

c. love\--the most lasting and worthy of gifts. It gives great benefits to both the giver and the receiver. There is never too much. But beware, it is also the most dangerous gift. It changes both the giver and the recipient in ways in which neither can comprehend. It has been known to change the course of history.

d. understanding—requires time and love. It is a great gift because it widens vision, deepens wisdom, and facilitates forgiveness.

e. forgiveness\--it is only through forgiving others, that we release ourselves from our own transgressions and aggressions. Accepting forgiveness helps us to recognize our own fragile humanity and regain not just humanness, but humaneness.

f. responsibility\--only through accepting responsibility can we achieve personal and societal growth. Without a sense of responsibility, there is chaos.

LITTLE BOOK OF WHY'S

WHY DOES RACISM EXIST?

The greatest misconception in history has been the myth of a superior race. Most anthropologists believe that there is only one race--the human race. The divisions based on color are specious, since color is determined specifically by an individual's ability to produce a single chemical, melanin, and that ability is determined not by any ranking of superiority but simply by environmental necessity and the operation of simple gene tables. The misconception has been promulgated at various points in history for only one reason-- the quest for power. The real driving force in human history has always been the quest for power (sorry Karl Marx--economics is only one of many ways in which one man seeks to gain power over other men). Any kind of power. Any way of showing the rest of humanity why any single group, and subsequently any member of that group, is superior to another. It can take the form of racism, nationalism, elitism, even religion.

Man is a dominant species on the planet (not necessarily THE dominant species, given the over 750,000 species of insects which have survived every attempt at extermination by man or beast). One gets to be a dominant species by only one method--domination. Not passive domination, but consistent, conscious, active domination. Now, dominance on the part of an animal which has no fur, no claws, no great speed, no great physical strength, no great size, and no exoskeleton, is no mean feat.

Four things have allowed us to survive and become dominant:

1. Intelligence\--the ability to reason through a problem and effect a solution; to relate cause and effect; to understand relationships between things, between things and humans and between humans and humans; to understand abstract concepts and beings;

2. Opposable thumb\--it is one thing to grasp a concept, quite another to grasp some thing to help bring a concept to reality (you can't build a frame house if you can't hold a hammer);

3. Untastiness\--scientific evidence indicates that human beings just don't taste good to most animals. This is not a unique defense in nature. The monarch butterfly has just this same defense. This may not seem that important, but add this to the above characteristics, and it puts humans at the top of the food chain--now that is very, very important. If no one is hunting you for food, it gives you developmental time that no other group of creatures has.

4. The will to power\--this aspect of man has, time and time again, led man to the towers of greatness and the dungeons of ignominy.

Man has clawed, dug, crawled, and scrambled his way out of caves, mud, and mountains, and in his fight for sheer survival, has dominated his natural enemies and his environment. But like the young Macedonian General, Alexander, he cries when there are no more battles to fight, no more people to conquer. And so, long after exertion of domination is necessary, man still strives to dominate. But since all men are born with the aforementioned attributes, all men are intrinsically equal. The need to dominate now takes a bizarre twist. We create enemies to dominate. We base this enmity on race, culture, immigration status, social status, religion, nationality. We even use names, unspeakable but all too often spoken, for these people. We do this because we know deep down inside that it is wrong to dominate a fellow human being, but if we can somehow reduce another human being's status by giving him a label, we can find something else that only human beings seek--JUSTIFICATION. Once a human being finds justification for an action, he is capable of the very actions which supposedly are relegated only to lesser animals. It is patently wrong to kill a black human being, but no problem to kill a "nigger". We should look with mercy on a parent, who lacks money and skills, and not necessarily because of her own doing, but we can look down in disgust at a "welfare mother". Find a label, and almost any action or attitude that is otherwise unthinkable, is completely acceptable. Despite the tomes written to explain why racism exists, the answer is quite simple. One group of human beings which wants to dominate another group of human beings, has used a superficial physical difference to justify it. What makes "racism" in this context so special, is that the difference is readily recognizable and totally immutable. One can hide one's religion, one's nationality, and sometimes, one's gender. If you are born with black skin, you will always have black skin. This is what makes intermarriage so dangerous. One day, racist people might not be able to tell who the enemy is, and then, they will have to look for some other less convenient and less obvious, but probably just as stupid reason to dominate.

WHY DOES RACISM PERSIST?

In this day and age, supposedly one of scientific enlightenment, many are surprised to find that racism is alive and well, and in many quarters, even flourishing. I am surprised that they are surprised. Let's take a long look at my theory that power is the greatest motivator.

Power, in its absolute sense, is the ability to control the environment, both ecological and sociological to the end of making that environment subservient to one's own needs. Men and (wo)men will kill for it, die for it, sacrifice friends and family for it, rape for it, lie for it, cheat for it, pray for it, hope for it, write songs and poems about it, try to buy it, beg for it, demand it, and ultimately, worship it. Oh yes, man worships power! Every great movement in man's history has been about power. Man frequently forgets that God is the only true power and in a perverse transposition, usually makes power his god. Even in our practice of religion, power is at the forefront. God is recognized, not so much for His goodness, as for His power. We talk of "The Almighty", "Almighty Father", "All Powerful God", "A Mighty Fortress Is Our God". Power always has been and probably always will be THE human obsession.

Power is such a moving force that an examination of world history reveals that virtually every great civilization came to the forefront of history due to a war--a massive dispute over territorial power. The figures in human history to whom we give homage, all exhibited great power--Chaka Zulu, Genghis Khan, Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, Jesus Christ, Mahatma Ghandi, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, and in some quarters, even Adolph Hitler. They all sought it, and they all used it (well, of course, Jesus already had it, but that is another discussion for another book). Oh, yes, the motives may have differed, but the quest was the same. It has been this quest for power which has shaped and formed the entire history of mankind. If we are to take the Bible literally, the original fall of man was due to The Serpent offering power to Eve ("You will be as gods, knowing good and evil.") She couldn't resist it--like the vast majority of human beings since "The Fall", she got sucked in.

And power is NEVER given away (If Eve had known this, things might have been different. Like any good shopper, she might have asked the question, "How much is this information going to cost me and why should I buy it from you ?"). Frederick Douglass says, "Power concedes nothing without demands". In effect, this means that power is either seized or exchanged or both. In racism, power is both seized and exchanged. One group seizes all power from another group and forces that other group to exchange its very humanity for just some semblance of the power which was seized. In America, for example, the natives were constantly offered small bits of power in the form of guns, arbitrary trade agreements, and land rights to keep them focused on the illusion of overall power. In exchange, they gave up the entire continent, and, according to the "thinking" of entirely too many people, their right to exist in this country. Unfortunately, the natives never had a chance to talk to Frederick Douglass.

The Africans brought to this country were in a different situation. They themselves, were both seized and exchanged. But here, the ruling race did not even go through the motions of giving the offended race even some semblance of power. The Africans were literally and legally relegated to the status of barnyard animal, and thus stripped of any humanness or right to any power (only in "Animal Farm", did the animals ever take over.) And to top it off, we see the ultimate perversion of biblical scripture. Since man was given dominion over the base animals, and these slaves (unlike slaves in any other civilization in history) were considered animals, man, specifically the White man, had a God given right to own them and bend them to his will, by any means necessary.

Slaves were sold as chattel, much as one would sell a rake or a bale of hay. But remember that nature demands a balance? Nature is as obsessed with balance as Man is with power, except that nature always rules (Ain't God cool?). 400 years of total and totally White domination was abhorrent, and the law of balance started to prevail. With the industrial revolution, slavery was beginning to become economically less advantageous (you can replace a cog in a machine faster than you can bid on, buy, transport, break, and train a slave who doesn't want to do what you want him to do anyway.). That fact alone, would not have quickly changed the balance, except that just about that time, a war for the balance of power (there's that word again) happened to come along and make all the difference. Because the South had put so many of its economic eggs in one basket, all that was needed was to crush the basket--enter the Emancipation Proclamation. Incidentally, for those of you who thought the Emancipation was strictly of humanitarian motivation, guess again. Read well and you will find that the Emancipation Proclamation freed only the slaves in the Confederacy. The goal was not principally to end slavery, but to break the back of The Confederacy. Lincoln knew that the Confederacy had not balanced its economic scales and was dependent solely on unskilled, unwilling labor. The Confederacy was killed by imbalance of power.

Plus, people can only lie to themselves so long. When a white man looks at a black man, he can't help but sometimes think, "If it walks like a duck (man), talks like a duck (man), and looks like a duck (man), chances are, it is a duck (well, you know...).

But once you get to this point, there is a problem. Since all men are intrinsically equal, the only conclusion is that black people have been robbed of their just deserts for a somewhat lengthy period of time. If they have worked for three hundred years without pay, somebody owes them a lot of money. If they have suffered for three hundred years without any power, somebody owes them one hell of an explanation. Now you either have to pay them and give them an explanation or explain why you don't really have to pay them or give them any explanation at all. This seems, on its face, to be a great dilemma--Not SO my friends. All you have to do is convince these blacks, that while, yes, they are in fact people, they are just one or two steps down in the pecking order. Then, remember our Native American friends? Give the black folks some semblance of power, some illusion of equality, let them sit back in self-aggrandizement, make sure they have easy access to booze, guns, drugs, and most importantly, excuses, herd them into ghettoes, oops, my bad, urban communities, and see if the plan works again.

Racism persists, at least in this country, because it provides and easy solution to a seemingly insoluble problem. It provides a convenient scapegoat for social problems which were created by the very people who blame the scapegoat. If you can find someone else on whom to lay blame, it absolves you of the responsibility of finding a real solution. This works both ways, incidentally, for both the discriminator and the people being discriminated against. Blame, many times, is the emotional remedy for feelings of powerlessness. Thus, the discriminatees, as it were, can attribute all of their woes to the discriminators, even those woes which are actually their own doing.

Racism gives the ruling power structure a level of security, because if that power structure can keep the groups (irrespective of "race") who have less power than they, fighting over power that these groups don't really have anyway, no one in any of the subgroups has time to make a reasonable bid for real power. One day, somebody is going to wake up--maybe. Never mind, somebody just give me a pillow, please.

WHY IS THE MALE OF THE HUMAN SPECIES DOMINANT?

There is absolutely no way I can prove this, but I would be willing to bet you dollars to doughnuts that the first person to find the relationship between a large stick or animal bone and beating someone into submission was a man. Had it been a woman, things might have been quite different.

WHY IS MAN SO CRUEL?

The very things which make Man dominant also make him cruel. We may to some extent dominate our environment, but we are still subject to the overall laws of nature. Nature insists on balance--predator and prey, animal and vegetable, water and land. Man is at the top of the food chain and enjoys the distinction of having no natural predators. The more subtle predator of both animal and vegetable--disease--has also been weakened by man's ability to alter his environment. Another historical population control device was war. Masses of humans were killed in a short period (deer hunters euphemistically call this "thinning out the herd") in such major wars as WWI, WWII. But with the advent of nuclear weapons, the prospect of wars with the magnitude of WWI and WWII is unlikely. Heads of state may talk a strong game, but almost everyone knows in their heart of hearts, that such a war would this time actually be "The War to End All Wars". Who or what is then left to control man? The answer, quite simply, is man. We have three alternatives--intelligence or violence, or both. Then, we have a curve ball thrown in--free will--the ability to make a choice. Intelligent decisions usually take time and frequently go against the natural course of things. Violence is an immediate and effective solution to the population problem. It may not be the moral solution, but since when has nature worried about morality? Only humans worry about such problems--sometimes. Human violence is an expression of all that is great and all that is base in man. His studied violence reflects his intelligence (only humans can create progressively greater forms of violence), and the fact that he is violent at all shows nature's struggle to force man to contain himself, and to remind man that despite all of his machinations and self-aggrandizement, he is still a member of the animal kingdom. Note that levels of violence increase as population density increases. This is an extension of the territorial imperative. Everyone has a specific personal space. If you don't believe it, try this test. Stand close to someone. Note how close you can get before that person takes a step back. Now note the distance. If you take another half step forward, the other person, sometimes without even realizing it, will move back that same distance--almost every time. What happens when too many people can't move back far enough to keep their space from being violated? If there is no intellectual solution, violence is the chosen method.

WHY HASN'T INTEGRATION WORKED?

First, let's not get totally negative and unrealistic. Integration has not worked as well as some great reformers thought it would, but it has allowed a great many more people to participate in the huge opportunities heretofore enjoyed only by white America. The reason it has not met expectations are twofold. One, the expectations were too high to begin with. Integration was envisioned as a panacea for all the problems of black people in America. Well, if segregation didn't solve all the problems of the oppressor, why should integration solve all the problems of the oppressed? The second reason is that both white people and black people confused "integration" with "assimilation". They are not the same, either socially or linguistically. Assimilation assumes superiority. If blacks want to assimilate (and far too many do), we admit that the white culture has more to offer than our own. And if that is true, why would white people want to dilute that position? True integration simply says that, "If you will give complete respect to my way of life and try to understand my perspective, I will give complete respect to your way of life and try to understand your perspective." In true integration, both parties understand the worth of each and try to minimize each other's weaknesses, while consolidating their strengths. True integration admits that sometimes, one cannot fully understand the other's viewpoints, but that a difference in viewpoint does not equate to a difference in intrinsic worth. The Civil Rights Movement was not so much aimed at assimilation or integration, as it was aimed against forced segregation, and equality of access for all. People of similar backgrounds, cultures, and even color, tend to group themselves. This is a natural tendency, since people usually operate best within a comfort zone of the familiar (that's why our garages and attics are crammed with useless stuff that we refuse to get rid of--because we're comfortable knowing that these little pieces of our lives are tucked safely away). Integration can, and eventually must work because similarities of ideas and goals do exist, and not just within cultures, but between cultures. And sometimes these common similarities far transcend the superficiality of skin color. The ability to interface with the not so well known allows for growth. A change in perspective has been known to solve many problems. Hello? Is anyone out there listening?

WHY DONT WHITE PEOPLE GENERALLY UNDERSTAND BLACK PEOPLE?

The answer is childishly simple--White people dont understand Black people because they dont have to.

Once past the initial learning period of life (estimated at 1-8 years old), most of us are only motivated to learn for a specific purpose, not because of a love of knowledge for knowledges sake. We learn to pass tests so we can go to college or other institutes of higher learning and build a good livelihood for ourselves and/or our families. We take classes at our jobs to get better jobs, or be positioned to make more money at the current one.

Despite all the perceived and/or actual gains made by Black people in this society, this society is basically for White people, By White people, and of White people. Oh, despite the naysayers, it is changing, and changing rapidly, but it has not yet actually fully changed. Since the power base is White, what benefit does it hold for White people to learn about Black people? There may be ample reason for some White people to learn about some Black people, specifically, those with whom they have either a social or working relationship, but certainly not enough incentive to spend time learning about Black people in general. If White people somehow got the notion that Black people were truly taking over the power base, you would see Black studies programs flourishing at every university, with classes overloaded with White people.

P.S. Don't anyone get too comfortable. Remember the part about the game changing at halftime? It is now halftime, and there are a LOT of teams in the game. We had better all learn about all of them. We don't know who is going to win the next round, but we sure want to know a little somethin' somethin' about them.

WHY DOESN'T CAPITAL PUNISHMENT WORK?

Capital punishment is a simple and ineffective solution to a complex problem. It is based on some baseless assumptions and overlooks some very important issues. One, it assumes that the fear of death is a real deterrent. The only time the fear of death is a genuine deterrent is when that death is imminent and observably certain. Capital punishment in a "democratic" society can't provide that imminence or certainty, because there is that little inconvenience of proving that a certain individual, did with malice aforethought, kill another human being--and proving it beyond a reasonable doubt.

Most people cannot cold bloodedly kill another human being. It takes a special psyche. It demands that a person either not care that he is going to die; or hate another person so much that that person's death is more important than the killer's life; or believe that life in general is just a commodity. That kind of person does not care about any consequences, not even their own death.

Frequently, for the hardened murderer, capital punishment actually presents the ultimate challenge, the greatest gamble, the ultimate rush--to try to beat death itself. In many cases then, capital punishment becomes not a deterrent, but a positive motivation.

Secondly, it assumes that the death of the perpetrator will give total closure to the victim's family. It rarely does. Ask any psychologist. Ask most of the victims' families. The chasm doesn't close, the wound doesn't heal. Oddly enough, the most effective closure is obtained through forgiveness, because only then can the bitterness which fuels grief be released. This is not to say that murderers should not be punished, and punished severely. It is only to say that capital punishment is not the way to do it.

Thirdly, capital punishment assumes that the entire fault for the crime rests on one head. While direct responsibility for the crime may lay on one person, no one lives in a vacuum. When violence is constantly propounded as a viable solution (which no matter how much one tries to justify differently, capital punishment does), how can we be surprised when some people use that solution? When children are subjected to constant, violent abuse, they come to view violence as an acceptable form of behavior. Any young animal, including the human one can be imprinted, purposely or incidentally. Those imprints are not easily erased and are the start of a long cruel chain.

Excessive human violence is a terrible disease, and like any other disease, we cannot begin to cure the illness until we find and acknowledge its causes.

WHY ARE OUR KIDS SO VIOLENT?

On its face, this would seem to be just a subset of a preceding question. It is not, and until we recognize what is happening, we will never be able to resolve the problem. Worse, neither will our kids. Several factors lead to the great amount of violence seen in our kids, some simple, some not so simple.

Access to weapons

In my generation, children had virtually no access to handguns-- much less, semi-automatic and automatic weapons. The closest most of us got to these weapons was watching a John Wayne movie or a cowboy movie. Even knives with blades longer than 3 inches were outlawed in most states. I touched a real weapon for the first time at the age of 18 when I joined the ROTC at Howard University.

Today, children, and I don't mean young adults or teenagers, I mean children, can acquire almost kind of weapon made in the world, short of a SCUD missile.

Access to money

This is a capitalist society. This means, that no matter how much you want something, unless you steal it or trade for it, you're going to have to pay for it. Children have access to far more money than my generation even dreamed of having when we were children--even counting for inflation.

Their parents have more money and are much more lenient in giving that money to their children.

The drug culture has reached down as far as the 8 and 9 year old level, providing sub teens and teens with the kind of money that most of us didn't see until after college, and which many of us still don't see.

Credit Card Psychology

Our society has become slave to instant gratification. The idea of waiting for something is so foreign to our "mentality", that I suppose the word "wait" will eventually be listed in the dictionary as "archaic". We must have everything right now, regardless of our immediate ability or I should say, inability to pay for it. But this behavior eventually requires payment. We mortgage our property; our ethics; our children mortgage their lives, and by our behavior as adults, we approve those mortgages.

Communication

Remember, that children are actually people, and people act in response to two things; information on hand and external stimuli. Despite our non-violent rhetoric, and that is all that it is--rhetoric, our children are given one message by all the communication media--Violence is a viable solution to problems. They are constantly bombarded by dichotomies of values with which even adults cannot successfully deal. We talk about the value of human life on one hand and argue about why mothers' can be justified in killing their unborn babies. The state of Texas is proud of its heritage of killing more people (and as nasty and heinous as they may be, murderers are still people) in the electric chair, gas chamber, or by lethal injection, than any state in The Union (fact of the matter is, there are more executions in the state of Texas in a year than in the rest of the entire country, combined). Countries daily gain their independence by violence; maintain and eventually lose it the same way.

And all of this is constantly and almost instantly communicated by radio waves, televisions, the World Wide Web, newspapers, magazines, movie theaters, and video stores, and video games. Further, violence can be better planned, because of instant connection with co-conspirators. It's not just the traditional telephone anymore. The world wide web actually expands the concepts of violence our children have, by providing instant information about new weapons, new hate groups, new ways of hating and hurting other human beings. Smart phones make communication instantaneous and, because of the new found wealth from parents and from underground economies, affordable.

EXAMPLE

Children are copycats. They do what they see. They do what their friends do and they do WHAT WE DO. Never mind what we tell them to do, they do what they see us do. And what adults forget, or try to hide from themselves, is that children see everything. They may not always interpret it properly, but they do see. When we yell and scream at our mates or punch somebody out of anger, or spit at someone out of contempt, or curse at annoying drivers, or beat up our own parents, or kill somebody to get even, our children know. If it's good enough for us, why shouldn't it be good enough for them?

LACK OF FEAR

Two of the major things which have kept children in check for so long have been the fear of death and the fear of consequences--immediate consequences (children from the dawn of time have not worried about long term consequences). Our children have seen so much death, both in their neighborhoods and in the media, that the fear of death has become a resignation to the inevitable. We are in an age where too many children either think the way we did, that they are going to live forever, or as is all too common in today's world, think that they are going to die tomorrow. If they think they are going to die tomorrow, what rationalization can we give them for not taking what they want today by "Any means necessary"? If they think they are going to live forever, the only thing that can check them is a fear of consequences. We have taken all consequences away from any of our children's incorrect, much less violent actions. We condemn the mildest of spankings, the slightest sharp word ("We certainly don't want to psychologically scar our dear children."), and anything which makes our children the least bit uncomfortable. A very sagacious Ann Landers once wrote, "A little healthy fear never hurt a kid". I won't preach what consequences to use, but we had better figure some out.

FEAR OF ABANDONMENT

There is one overwhelming fear, however, that terrifies many of our children today--the fear of abandonment. Violence is usually an instinctive reaction to a situation which seems insolvable by intellect. Our children can't figure why we have given up on them. Parents get divorced without realizing that they are divorcing each other, not their children. If we don't like each other, so what. Our children still need us. When marital bliss ends, parental responsibility does not.

We live in a throwaway society. We have disposable diapers, disposable plates, disposable contact lenses. If something breaks, we no longer fix it; we throw it away and replace it--or some- times, just throw it away. Now, we have come to the ultimate--disposable people. Companies see their employees, not as people with families, but only as factors which impact "The Bottom Line". Too many people on the payroll? Cut out the excess "fat". The media is full of stories of parents throwing their children into dumpsters, toilets, trashcans, and anyplace else where they can get rid of them. Our foster care systems and our hospitals overflow with children, whose parents just threw them away. You tell me how a child can reason himself or herself out of this situation!

WHY IS THERE EVIL IN THE WORLD?

There is evil in the world because there are human beings in the world. Good and evil are human concepts and are only germane to beings with the power of constant conscious choice. " Good", in this context refers to the choice to obey the laws of The Creator; "Evil" is the conscious choice not to obey. The good and evil to which most people refer when asking this question, however, are not the concepts of good and evil, but the consequences. Consequences are neither good nor evil. They are merely consequences. Just as favorable consequences (at least on this temporal plane) can come from evil actions, unfavorable consequences can come from good actions. Just remember that nature's goal is balance (sometimes expressed as "God's in His heaven; all's right with the world."). Because of a lack of vantage point, we often can't see that the scales are balanced or at least in the process of being balanced.

WHY DOES HISTORY REPEAT ITSELF?

History repeats itself because humankind almost universally and eternally falls prey to ARROGANCE. Arrogance blinds us to our mistakes. It allows us to justify unjustifiable actions. It gives us a false sense of our own importance. We can make the same mistakes as others but not see them as the same mistakes (a wise priest, whose name I have forgotten once said, "When two people do the same thing, it is not the same thing.").

Arrogance causes an underestimation of opposing forces, and allows those forces to grow strong enough to conquer the supposedly stronger foe. And when this conquest occurs, the new "Big Man On Campus" forgets how he got there, becomes arrogant and starts the cycle all over (Hegel was a genius).

As long as arrogance pervades the human existence, we can expect history to repeat itself. Note: If the existence of one phenomenon is the cause of another phenomenon, the affirmation of the cause is the affirmation of the effect (Logic 101). Every major civilization from Africa to Asia to Europe to South America has begun its own demise by falling prey to arrogance. I suspect that this civilization will be no different.

WHY DO PEOPLE GET DIVORCED AND REMARRIED OVER AND OVER?

Most people who go through several divorces and subsequent remarriages fail to recognize a very simple problem. They keep marrying the same person over and over. Oh, the persons may have different names, addresses, parents, etc., but if they would check their spouses personalities, they would most likely find that they are all the same person.

WHY DO CHILDREN FROM THE SAME FAMILY, GIVEN THE SAME ADVANTAGES TURN OUT DIFFERENTLY?

The answer is quite simple. No two people are ever given the same advantages. The situations may seem identical, but in reality, they are at best exceptionally similar. Ask the question, "Were the social and economic environments impacting these "advantages" identical?". It is impossible to account for every variable in one person's life, much less, two people. Even identical twins, who share identical genetic makeup, while exceptionally similar, are identical only in appearance--and even that is subject to change.

WHY DO BLACK PEOPLE HAVE NATURAL RHYTHM?

This is a question which, on its face seems to have racist overtones, except that a superabundance of empirical evidence overwhelming gives this considerable credence. As a black man, I have marveled at how easily Africans and those cultures which have come under the African influence (and you would be amazed by the vast numbers of cultures which have!) all seem to have such an innate sense of rhythm. Since, no one seems to have found a biological reason, I have tried to find a logical reason elsewhere--environment. First let us understand exactly what rhythm, in this context, is. It is the ability to anticipate a specific beat, immediately before that beat occurs, giving the impression that a person is responding to that beat. No one responds instantaneously to a given beat. The human body cannot react that fast. What we perceive as responding to a beat is actually responding to the beat which we think is going to occur. Where else in the human experience does this phenomenon occur? Communication! Have you ever filled in someone else's sentence before that person finished it? Of course you have. We are able to do that because certain groups of words and thoughts have an immediately foreseeable pattern. Sometimes, however, we are wrong in that anticipation, and the person says something else. In rhythm, this is expressed as missing the beat. You didn't miss it. You just didn't anticipate it correctly. This is also why some music is easier to dance to than other music. The more predictable the beat, the more easy it is to dance to. Now back to Black folks. For thousands of years, one of the basic forms of communication in Africa was the drum. The drum had a language all of its own, and it was, indeed a true language. Effective communication is not just a luxury, but an element absolutely essential for survival. It is so essential, that scientists have ascertained that even trees have a chemical method of communicating with each other. Given this, the drum, a basic form of communication in Afrocentric cultures, becomes exceptionally important.

But the drum doesn't use words. It uses beats to communicate. Are you getting the picture? Just as in constant verbal communication, we are able to anticipate words, in constant drum communication, we are able to anticipate beats. It is not infrequent in nature that a learned trait, which becomes necessary for survival in one generation, becomes an inborn trait in future generations. Scientists can't explain it, but there it is. Of course, everybody can be taught rhythm. Now, EVERYBODY—DANCE!

WHY DO BLACK PEOPLE HAVE LARGE REAR ENDS?

God knew that black people would get knocked down a lot, and if we had large rear ends, we could bounce back just that much quicker--almost like one of the favorite toys of the 80's "Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down".

WHY IS more than one house "houses" but more than one mouse is "mice"; why is "rough" pronounced "ruff", but "doughnut" isn't pronounced "duffnut" (I guess that's enough (enuff), I'm through (not thruff, but throo); time for a John Riggins bow to all foreigners who have to learn this crazy language. By the way, the answer is: I have not the foggiest clue!

WHY DO CHILDREN SAY DUMB THINGS?

Children say dumb things because adults say dumb things. Remember the expression, "The fruit does not fall far from the tree."? I was in a supermarket one day, watching a little four year old girl pulling boxes off the shelf. Her mother looked at her, and with a perfectly straight face, asked, "Do you want a spanking?". What was this child supposed to say? "Oh, yeah mom, I haven't had a good spanking in weeks!". Several aisles over I observed a three or four old boy in the same predicament. He must have recently received a comeuppance, because the father asked, "Do you want another spanking?". Now what was this child supposed to say, "Oh, yeah dad, because your last couple of spankings weren't nearly up to your usual fine quality!".

I walked into a bank, and on the wall was a sign which read, "These instructions in Braille, for the sake of the visually impaired". Who is this sign supposed to benefit. If you are visually impaired, you can't read the sign, and if you can read the sign, you probably don't need the information. Further, if you are visually impaired and feel the raised dots on the wall, only two things come to mind. Either this wall is in Braille, or this wall has a serious acne problem.

Many years ago, I was reading a newspaper article, presumably written by an educated adult, which was recounting a murder. The reporter referred to "the alleged dead man". People, either the man was dead or he wasn't. If a man has been "murdered", he'd damned well better be dead.

We won't even talk about such stupid things as racist remarks, fat jokes, ugly jokes, and the innumerable host of other stupid things that adults say--USUALLY AROUND THEIR CHILDREN. Duh?

WHY IS THE SOUTH SO LAID BACK?

The South has traditionally been an agrarian economy. Farmers know that corn comes in when corn comes in; cotton comes in when cotton comes in; fruit trees bear fruit when they bear fruit. Until very recently, there has not been much which could speed that process up, so you wait until the time is upon you. You can't fight nature and win--not in the end.

The North on the other hand has traditionally been an industry based economy. You can make machines operate faster; you can hire more people to get more work done; you can quickly affect the "bottom line".

Economies not only greatly affect our livelihoods, they also greatly affect our lifestyles and our attitudes about life.

WHY is there a southern drawl?

The first English southerners spoke with British accents, so why the change in speech pattern. It is this writer's opinion that it is the black mans subtle and unintended revenge. The South was supported by slavery. Thousands of non-English speaking slaves were imported into the South. They were forbidden from being taught to read or to write. They were discouraged from speaking to each other in their native language and were purposely separated, tribesman from tribesman to keep communication to a minimum. Lets face it , the exchange of ideas among the oppressed can be especially dangerous for the oppressor. But people, by nature, must communicate. Since the only common language that slaves consistently heard was English, they tried to imitate it. Without teaching, learning can be a slow and arduous process. Words heard, but not taught, come slowly and approximately. Perception of tense, number, and person are not always accurate. That explains the slaves slow inaccurate speech (drawl), but what about the white owners? White slave owners children saw and probably interacted with more slave children than they did with white children. Plantations were far apart and there was no mass transportation or communication. More time was spent listening to the slow inaccurate English of the slaves than to the educated white teachers. Children learn more by repetition and observation than by perception of what is correct and incorrect. Whether we like it or not, effective communication always drops to the lowest common denominator. As these white children grew up, they corrected the grammar, but the slow, deliberate speech pattern was there to stay and to be passed on, generation to generation, reinforced by 300 years of slavery. Just as Good is often its own reward, Evil is often its own punishment.

JUST FOR YOU SALESMEN,

THE EXPLOSION OF SOME UNIVERSAL SELLING MYTHS and

A PARABLE FOR SALESMAN

1. NEVER TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER

A. Find out what the customer is really saying "no" to.

When I worked for Xerox Corporation, in the 70's, there was a wonderful salesperson named Shirley Meyers. One of Shirley's customers called her up to cancel rental on one of his copiers.

In those days this was serious business, because when Xerox took the copier back, it also took the placement commission back. Rather than panic, Shirley carefully searched the customer's repair records, and found that the copier had hardly given her customer any problems. Shirley called the customer and asked the simple question "Why?". She was told by the customer that he was simply tired of looking at that same stupid machine day after day after day. Shirley, knowing her customer well, went into his office after hours (unbeknownst to him) and plastered the machine with those stick on daisies that used to be used in bathtubs to prevent slips. The customer came in the following morning, saw this wild looking machine, immediately called Shirley and said, "I love it, I'm keeping it!"

B. Find out what the ultimate cost of not accepting "no" is.

Possibly, while you were beating some poor prospect over the head to buy your product, you might have sold four or five people in the same building, but while you were busy hammering away at the first prospect, some other salesman sold everybody else. Will the world end if one person doesn't buy?

C. Find out the cost of changing a "no" to a "yes".

1. time--time can be the salesman's best friend or his worst enemy. How much time is this deal really worth?

2. credibility--are you willing to jeopardize your credibility to get a sale--be careful, it may be your last sale. Credibility is the most precious things a salesman has.

3. money--proposals, marketing materials, sales time all translate into dollars. How much money will it cost to change this person's mind. Sometimes it can cost more than you or your company or you will get from the deal.

D. Assess the probability, the real probability of changing the "no" at all.

2. THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT

NOBODY is ALWAYS right

3. ALWAYS GIVE THE CUSTOMER WHAT HE WANTS

Assess the customer's needs and show him his real options. If what he wants is not what he needs, he won't remember that he made a bad decision, only that you let him do it.

4. LOW BID ALWAYS WIN

Low bid doesn't always win. But you have to be totally prepared to show how your proposal is the best value. Even this doesn't work all the time, but you will be surprised how many times it does. Here's a quote which I found helpful in such situations.

"If you want high quality oats, you have to be prepared to pay a fair price. If, on the other hand, you can be satisfied with oats which have already gone through the horse, we can get those for you a little cheaper."

5. A SMOOTH TALKER IS A GOOD SALESMAN

A smooth talker is a good "pitch man". That is not the same thing as a good salesman. A pitch man will sell anything and he depends on emotional and rapid response from his "customers". His main objective is to "get paid" and his customers' welfare is of no real concern. A good salesman, on the other might indeed be a smooth talker. There is no disgrace in using a talent for words. But he or she does not have to be a smooth talker. What a good salesman is, is a person who is a good listener, who can "hear" a prospect and understand the need that the prospect is trying to convey to him. A good salesman can match a product with a prospect who actually needs it and get the prospect to understand that he, the prospect, needs the product. Without a good salesman, a prospect might not even recognize the need. Good presentation skill, sometimes falsely viewed as smooth talking, is a great asset, but it does not necessarily make one a good salesman. Good presentation skill is the icing, not the cake. Additionally, "smooth talkers" are frequently seen for what they frequently are--form without substance.

6. A GOOD SALESMAN CAN SELL ANYTHING

A good salesman won't sell anything. A good salesman is very particular about the products he or she sells. A good salesman does not want you to like him. He wants you to believe him and if a salesman doesn't believe in his product, why should a prospect? Credibility comes from conviction, and a salesman who is not passionate about the products he sells is neither credible nor good.

7. IF YOU BUILD A BETTER MOUSETRAP, THE WORLD WILL BEAT A PATH TO YOUR DOOR.

If you don't market that mousetrap, you will be the only kid on the block with the best mousetrap in the world. The world has no way of knowing what you have to offer; nor has it any way of knowing the quality of what you have to offer if you don't tell somebody--a lot of somebodies-- about it. Even then the world won't necessarily beat a path to your door. The Xerox copier took over 30 years just to be recognized as a worthwhile office product. Colonel Harland Sanders, unarguably The Fried Chicken King of the 20th Century, and even perhaps the 21st Century, knew that Kentucky Fried Chicken was special but he also knew that if he didn't advertise it and promote it, no one else would know about it. He was a promoter until he died, and KFC just keeps getting bigger.

If you indeed build a better mousetrap, you would be well advised to build a good business plan for that mousetrap. A mediocre product with a good business plan will almost always outsell a good product with a mediocre business plan. And a good business plan always has a knock 'em dead marketing plan.

THE SALESMAN

(author unknown)

And in those days, behold, there came through the gates of the city a salesman from afar off, and it came to pass as the day went by, he sold plenty.

And in that city were they that were the order taker and they that spent their days in adding to the alibi sheets. Mightily were they astonished. They said one to the other, "What the Hell: how doth he getteth away with it?" And it came to pass that many were gathered in the back office and a soothsayer came among them. And he was one wise man. And they spoke and questioned him saying, "How is it that this stranger has accomplished the impossible?"

Whereupon the soothsayer made answer: "He of whom you speak is one hustler. He ariseth very early in the morning and goeth forth full of pep. He complaineth not, neither, doth he know despair. He is arrayed in purple and fine linen, while ye go forth with pants unpressed."

"While ye gather here and say one to the other, 'Verily this is a terrible day to work.', he is already abroad. And when the eleventh hour cometh, he needeth no alibis. He knoweth his line and they that would stave him off, they giveth him orders. Men say unto him, 'Nay', when he cometh in, yet when he goeth forth he hath their names on the line that is dotted."

"He taketh with him the two angels, 'inspiration' and 'perspiration' and he worketh to beat hell. Verily, I say unto you, go and do likewise."

A WORD TO ALL MY CHILDREN (THE ONES WHO CALL ME "POP" AND "GRAND DAD" AND "POP POP", AND ALL MY OTHER CHILDREN WHO SIMPLY CALL ME "MAGICMAN")

First and foremost, understand that you are all very, very, very important. You are the platform on which the future is built. What you become is what we all become. The greatest people, from Jesus Christ, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, and Cleopatra to Julius Caesar, Imhotep, and Genghis Khan all had one thing in common--they started out as children. They all had their diapers changed. They all fell down, cried, probably had their booboos kissed by their mothers, probably got embarrassed by their mothers spitting on a handkerchief and wiping dirt off of their little faces (Aw Mom, not in front of everybody!), were misunderstood by grownups, and sat in classrooms with seats which were probably harder than yours. But each recognized that he, or she was important. Don't let anyone tell you that you don't count. YOU DO!!!

MAGIC LETTERS-- Two themes from the magic shows of Myklar the Ordinary (that's me)

DYB--Do Your Best

The only thing that can be demanded of you is that you do your best, not that you be the best, only that you do your best. And this is not just restricted to schoolwork or to the things that your parents give you to do. This applies to EVERYTHING you do, whether it is playing video games, dodge ball, hide and go seek, or basketball. Always give everything your best shot.

Frequently, even your best efforts will land you in the middle, and sometimes even at the back of the pack, but if you always do your best, one day you're going to have the excitement and joy of saying, "Hey, my best was pretty good that time!"

Many years ago, more years than I care to remember and a lot more years than I care to admit, I was a runner on Howard University's track team. I was a good runner, but never a great runner. During the fall, I ran cross country. Our course was about 4 miles long. It ran around the city reservoir in DC and finished up with a lap around the school's track. One Saturday, as we were coming to the end of the race, I was exhausted. My body said, "We must be crazy to do this!" My mind said, "I don't care, We have a commitment to the team to do our best!" Well, in order to do your best, one thing you have to have is a goal, something that you want to accomplish. I had to set a goal quickly. There was a runner who had about a 200 yard lead on me, and I said to myself, "Before the race is over, I'm going to catch that guy!". I summoned up all the energy I had left and went after him. With about 150 yards to go in the race, I caught him. We ran neck to neck, stride for stride, nose to nose toward the finish line. The crowd was yelling and screaming. They were up on their feet and going bananas--and we weren't even racing for 1st place. We were racing for 10th place! But what had happened, was that the crowd had seen two people who had realized that there was no way that either of them was going to win this race, but who had said to themselves, "There will be other days and there will be other races; my job today is to run the best race I can!". To this day some 30 odd years later, the two races I remember most in my entire track career were the one in the National Guard Armory, where with all my friends from the 'hood watching, I crossed the finish line first, and that day some two years earlier, when the only thing I won was my own self-respect.

As I grew older, I came to realize that had it not been for that day when I won my self-respect, the day I took the gold would probably never have come.

FTL--Find The Light

You all have a talent--something which you always seem to do well. It may be singing, dancing, telling a joke or story, speaking, or even just reading very well. Many of you have similar talents, and many of you have different talents. But one thing is for sure--you each have one. That talent is your light. Develop it and it will make your life shine brighter. It will make your life a joy instead of a job. You may not find out immediately what that talent is. I did not become a magician until I was 30 years old. But if you have patience and keep your eyes open, you will find it. Listen to your parents and teachers. Talk to your friends. Frequently, they will spot your talents before you do. And when you find that talent, do not, for any reason whatever, let that light go out. Make it burn as brightly as you can for as long as you can.

AND NOW, SOME HELPFUL HINTS TO AID IN GROWING UP

Be a Kid.

Don't try to grow up too fast. Remember, that when you reach 21 years old, you will be an adult for the rest of your life. After that, there will never be a time when you will have to say, "Boy, I wish I was a grownup!". You will find plenty of opportunities, however, to say, "Boy, I wish I was a kid!" But you will never be one again. This is your only chance to be a kid. Don't let anyone--not teachers, not parents, not drug dealers, not fast money, fast friends, fast cars, not anybody, not anything\--take that away from you. Learn as much as you can, because you won't be a kid always, but never forget to have fun. You will never have this much fun again!!

DON'T FIGHT EVERY BATTLE

Every battle is not worth winning! Pick your battles carefully. Example: Suppose you are talking to one of your friends in class and your teacher asks you to be quiet. What does it take to do that--about half a second to close your mouth. That's a little battle (okay, so maybe being quiet is a big battle for a kid; we grownups sometimes forget what it was like), but it really isn't that hard to give that battle to the teacher. Next, suppose you are walking around the classroom, when you should be sitting down and the teacher asks you to take a seat. What does it take, about three or four steps and four or five seconds--once again a little battle. Now you and I both know that at some time, on some Thursday night, you will have gone to the mall with your parents. You will have had one hotdog too many, one slice of pizza too many, one pretzel too many. Your mother told you to get the small coke, but no, you just had to get the giant 1,000 liter job. And now, you're paying for it--BIGGGG TIME. You're sick as a dog and there's no way you're going to finish your homework. If you fought all those little battles, kept talking, kept walking around, what do you think your teacher is going to tell you the next morning? She's going to say, "Tough! You just flunked this assignment.". But if you are one of those students who tries to do what the teacher asks you, usually turns in your assignments on time, and usually participates in class, your teacher is probably going to say, "I'm sorry you were sick. Why don't you do that homework tonight and bring it in to me on Monday." See, you gave up a couple of little battles, but you won a big one.

BE GOOD TO EACH OTHER

No one has the ability to generate as much love as a child, and few people can cause as much pain as a child. An arm around the shoulder is better than a punch in the face--every time. Let's not get stupid. Of course, talking trash and making fun of somebody is cash fun. But it can be extremely hurtful, and sometimes, that hurt can last well into adulthood. It also hurts you, because eventually it can turn you into a mean spirited and nasty person, whom nobody really wants to be around. The expression, "What goes around, comes around." is true. Most people think about the bad things, but it is also true that all of your good deeds will usually come back to you, usually when you least expect it and most need it. By the way, if you think being an idiot (that's what I call people who get their kicks from bashing other people) is fun, try being a good guy. Do something nice for somebody for no reason at all and watch how good it will make both of you feel. They say good guys finish last. Maybe that's because they're having so much fun, they don't feel like finishing at all.

DEVELOP A POSITIVE ATTITUDE

I know grownups tell you this every day, but this is The Magic Man talking, and my children know I have one rule in life--NEVER LIE TO A CHILD! Your attitude about life will shape your entire life. What you throw out to the world is exactly what the world will throw back at you. If you fall down, don't complain, just get up. If you sometimes fail, so what. We all fail, find out why you failed, correct it, and keep on going. Don't let your failures overshadow your successes. Eliminate, or at least minimize, your weaknesses and build on your successes. Know that every time you see a door close, there is another door opening somewhere else. The world is full of opportunities and surprises, some good, some not so good. But always look for the best in yourself and in those around you. Like many a lost sock, if you look hard enough, you will find it--and sometimes it's been right there in your drawer all along!.

IF YOU LEARN TO DO THE THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO DO, YOU'LL GET TO DO MORE OF THE THINGS YOU REALLY WANT TO DO.

If you constantly shirk responsibility, always look for the easy way out, complain that you don't "feel like doing it', it will take you at least twice as much time to do something, which, whether you like it or not, has simply got to be done--and done by you.

If you are given a job to do, just do it. The sooner you finish, the more time you will have to do "fun stuff". Now, that doesn't mean rush through the job--do it right. If you go too fast, you'll make careless mistakes and have to do the job over and over until it's right.

Approach each task with a positive attitude. You will be surprised at how often things you didn't want to do, turn out to be interesting and, sometimes, a lot more fun than you had imagined. A wise man once said, "Don't put off for tomorrow, what you can do today. That way, if you like it, you can do it again tomorrow!"

Finally, if you do the things that you don't want to do, and do them right and with a positive attitude, people will be more willing to do the things you ask them to do for you\--sometimes even things that they don't really want to do but are doing because YOU asked them.

DO A GOOD DEED EVERYDAY

Make it a habit--once a day, every day, do something nice for somebody, anybody. It can be helping another child with a math problem, or washing the dishes even though your mom didn't ask you to. It can be sitting next to that new kid in school that everyone thinks is a nerd, and just saying, "hi." (It's amazing how many nerds turn out to be pretty cool people, once somebody gives them a chance.). It could be helping a senior citizen cross the street (don't forget, if you're lucky, you're going to be a senior citizen one day). Look for a reason to do something good. You will feel good about the world and about yourself.

LEARN SOMETHING EVERYDAY

Never let a day go by that you don't learn something new. Go to a library, watch a science show on TV. Talk to your teachers or parents. You only grow as much as you learn. Don't always wait to be taught. Knowledge is like a basketball pass. Every good basketball coach will tell his players, "Go to the pass." If a player waits for the pass, an opposing player will usually intercept the pass and score. Information is like that. If you wait for information to come to you, you will usually find that somebody else has already grabbed it and scored with it. The first person with the information is usually the person who is in the best position to benefit from it.

LEARN THE LANGUAGE AND LEARN TO USE IT WELL

I don't necessarily mean the English language. I mean the language of whatever country you choose as your home, whether it is Italian, Spanish, French, Hebrew, Cantonese, or Bantu. Your level of intelligence is generally judged by the level of your language. This may not be fair. I take that back; it frequently is not fair, because some complete imbeciles speak very, very well, and some geniuses come off sounding like complete imbeciles. But fair or not, it is how it is. If you have great thoughts, learn to communicate them effectively. Remember, if people do not perceive you as intelligent, they will assume that you are not. And if they don't think you have something worthwhile to say, why should they listen to you?

BE RESPONSIBLE

Your life is yours to keep or throw away. How well you live will be governed by the choices you make. And no matter what anyone else tells you, you always have a choice of actions. It may not always be a choice you want or a choice you like--but there is always a choice. If you make reasonably good choices, and, by the way, no one makes all the right choices, you will probably have a reasonably good life. If you make bad choices, you will most assuredly have a not so good life. And don't make excuses. Either you have a good reason for doing something or you don't. If you don't have a good reason, don't make one up and don't start pointing fingers at everyone else. Accept your consequences and move on. You have the ability to change the world, but only if you first accept the responsibility of changing yourselves. When you grow, the rest of the world does too.

THE WORLD CAN BE DIVIDED INTO THREE KINDS OF PEOPLE

(Not my original thoughts, but good enough for me to pass them on to you.)

1. Those who make things happen

2. Those who watch things happen

3. Those who don't even know anything is happening.

MAKE THINGS HAPPEN--this is one of the single most important rules in controlling your own destiny. How many touchdowns have you seen scored by guys sitting on the bench watching the game? How many have you seen scored by guys who didn't know that the game was being played?

THE "D" Word--Discipline

I know, I know. You HATE that word! But you hate that word because you don't really understand what that word really means. Most of you think discipline means sitting down and shutting up.

THAT IS NOT WHAT DISCIPLINE MEANS! Discipline simply means learning to control yourself! Let me repeat that. Discipline simply means learning to control yourself! It means learning what you need to do, when you need to do it, and doing it, without somebody necessarily having to tell you to do it. Along with knowledge, love, and initiative (making things happen), it provides the one single way to absolutely take control of your own destiny. Without it, your destiny will always be in someone else's hands. So you're saying, "Well, that's fine when I grow up, but what does discipline do for me now except spoil a good party?". Several years ago, my then 13 year old son and I were on the same side in a touch football game at our family reunion. He took the kickoff and started down the field, with me blocking for him. Halfway down the field, he tried to make a cut, slipped, flew into the air and fell on the grass (actually he fell on something which rhymes with grass). Well, all the children started laughing and pointing at him. There is no rule in touch football which says laughing kills the play. While they were busy laughing at him, I walked over very slowly, helped him up, and quietly told him to start walking toward the end zone. The children kept laughing, and Jordan kept walking. And they kept laughing. And he kept walking. He walked all the way to the end zone, turned around, and signaled touchdown. You see, the children had been so busy laughing, that they had forgotten to tag him. Discipline would have told them that it was alright to laugh, but only after they had done what they were supposed to do\--tag him. Learn how to control yourself and I guarantee that you will be masters of your own destiny. Oh, yes, we won the game—by one touchdown.

FOCUS--an important element of discipline

Learn to focus your attention where it should be. I was still playing basketball when I was in my 50's and frequently played with my son after school. The big joke at my son's school was to goad someone to drive on "Big Pops" as I was sometimes lovingly called. Then the young folks who knew me, would sit back and laugh as their victim tried time and time again to get around me. No, I 'm not fast anymore. I'm not 6 'tall or even 6' wide. But I learned an important rule in guarding another player--focus. All the young folks could run faster, dribble better, and jump higher than I. But I had sense enough to know that. After all, as Clint Eastwood once said in one of his Dirty Harry movies, "A man has got to know his own limitations.". What I did better than they, was focus. I simply focused my attention on their midsection. They could dribble the ball between their legs, throw their arms out, shuffle their feet, bob their head. I didn't see it. All I saw, was that midsection, because I knew that wherever that goes, the rest of the body has got to follow.

In your life, there will be many things which can distract you--parties, ball games, hanging out. All of these things have their place, but never let them take your attention off your goal. People may laugh at your efforts, call you a nerd, tell you you're wasting your time, and try to waste your time themselves. These are simply distractions. They are like those children trying a head fake on the basketball court. FOCUS ON YOUR OBJECTIVE. Determine what is absolutely important in your life and do whatever is necessary to accomplish it.

TELL THE TRUTH

There is a saying, "The truth will out." It means that no matter how hard you try to hide it, eventually, the truth will come out. The problem with a lie, is that it only temporarily solves a situation, and believe me, the solution is always temporary. When you tell a lie, you usually have to tell another lie to back it up and another one to back that one up. Then you have to remember each lie you told. If you change one lie, the entire story crumbles. The truth doesn't change. If you told a true story yesterday, you don't have to change one bit of it today. Lies always hurt--even the ones we call "little white" lies. No lie is little. If your girlfriend asks how her dress looks and its totally wrong for her, don't say, "Baby, you look good!". She's going to be plenty mad when other people look at her funny and talk about how tacky she looks. She's going to wonder why you didn't save her that embarrassment.

Even when you think your mom's going to punish you, or your teacher is going to send you to the office, tell the truth anyway. We all mess up, and lying usually doubles the punishment. And the truth almost ALWAYS comes out, usually at the most inopportune time. Truth be told, often what we think is going happen to us because of a misdeed is usually a lot more than what actually happens. What happens when that misdeed is compounded by a lie, is usually immensely greater than the punishment we would have gotten in the first place.

Most importantly, a reputation for truth will serve you well. I guarantee that there will come a time when the only thing that saves you is your reputation for telling the truth--always telling the truth. There will be a situation where there is just your word against someone else's. If people know that you always tell the truth, your word will be enough. This is not theory or philosophy. My friends know now, if you don't want the real answer, don't ask me the question. I didn't always know this. I learned it the hard way. It took me not years, but decades, to finally realize that there is no option to the truth. Not knowing this in the past cost me businesses, money, and family.

I will never forget that lesson as long as I live. Don't learn it the hard way--it is far too expensive a lesson!

CHOOSE YOUR "FRIENDS" WISELY

I cannot stress this strongly enough. Your friends can raise you up and your friends can bring you down. Choose only people who have a positive influence on you. Choose as your friends, people who have dreams, who want to succeed, people who are not afraid of an honest effort, and especially who want the very best for themselves and for you. You will all rise together!

DON'T LET "COOL" RULE

Many times in our efforts to be "cool" we are quite "uncool". Never be so "cool" that you can't show warmth to your friends and family. If you are ashamed to give your mom or dad a hug in front of your friends, you aren't cool, you're an idiot. If you can't hang out with some of your friends, because other children see them as nerds, you aren't cool, you're an idiot. If you can't show your teacher some appreciation because you're afraid other children will laugh at you or think you aren't cool, you're--well you know the rest.

NEVER FORGET WHERE YOU CAME FROM

Never let your successes make you think that you are better than everyone else. Don't look down your nose at people who have not been as successful as you, especially not your friends, family, and neighbors. Remember that your skills only make you a better performer, not a better person. Your skills can be taken away from you, your money can be taken away from you, your health can be taken away from you--all in the blink of an eye. You become truly more important only when your life makes a positive difference in the lives of others. The more important you see yourself as, the less important you actually become. Your friends, your neighborhood, your culture all contributed to your growth. Even in the worst of neighborhoods, the poorest of families, there have been some good times and some positive influences. Take those positive things with you and never let them go. If you came from a neighborhood where most of your experiences were rotten and frightful, remember, you weren't the only one who wanted to get out of that trap, and you probably did not get out of that trap without help. Never forget this: God gave you two hands for a reason--one to reach up to accept help, and one to reach down and give help.

Every culture has a rich heritage filled with history, philosophies, skills, rituals, traditions, and games. Never forget these, these are your treasures, whether you are African, European, Asian, Latino, Jewish, Christian, Muslim, or whatever. If you forget who you are, you will have a difficult time trying to shape who you want to become.

A writer named Thomas Wolf once said, "You can never go home again". I say, "If you keep home with you, you don't have to go home again, because you're always there already."

APPRECIATE WHERE OTHER PEOPLE CAME FROM

The world is like a wonderful quilt, with patches of many colors and designs. Each is different, and it is this difference which gives the quilt its unique beauty and character. Find out where these differences came from. Ask people why they do things like they do, and you will find yourself involved in some fascinating conversations. You may learn some new games, or get some new reasons to celebrate (never miss a chance to celebrate!). A wise man once said, "A mind is like a parachute; it works best when it is open." The world will open only as wide as your mind opens. You may even find a better way of doing some of the things you do. Growth only happens when ideas are exchanged. And remember that because a person is different from you, they are not necessarily any worse or any better than you. Sometimes, they are just different. Interestingly enough, the more you talk to somebody that's "different", the less different they frequently seem.

LEARN RESPECT

This is a virtue that has been virtually lost in our society. We call our leaders by their first names, look for every opportunity to degrade our would be heroes, curse people for their success, and put them down for their failures. And then grown-ups ask you children, "How come you don't respect anybody?". Respect is taught, learned, and earned. Respect has many faces. First, there is the respect that every human being, from child to adult, deserves just because we have made it into the world. This is usually taken for granted, but we all overcome some pretty amazing odds to get here. When you consider the millions of sperm which try to unite with one tiny egg to become a single human being, and the millions of times, every single day, people all over the world try to create a baby, you come to understand the tremendous odds we each had to overcome just to become one of those select and special individuals who actually made it.

Then, there is respect for those above us, those who have put a lot of effort into becoming good at what they do--most of our parents, our teachers, yes, sometimes, even our bosses. These people have earned respect. Don't be afraid to give it. From these people, you will learn much, but if you show disrespect, they will not be as willing to teach you. And if they do not teach you, you will not grow to your full potential, and they, in turn will have lost the great ideas which you might have shared with them. When disrespect rears its ugly head, nobody wins.

There is respect for your peers--those who, just like you, are trying to make something of themselves. You all have strengths and weaknesses, and you can all become special people, but only with each other's help. To respect a strength in someone else, does not deny your own worth. To recognize a weakness in someone else, does not make you better. If you use others' strengths to make up for your weaknesses, and use your own strengths to help others make up for their weaknesses, you will all benefit. Unfortunately, this is not the way life usually is, but unless we, as human beings, begin to realize that that is the way life better be, we will eventually destroy the entire human race.

DO NOT CONFUSE FEAR WITH RESPECT!

Simply because you are physically stronger, or have a gun or a knife to force people to obey you, you have not gotten respect. Just because you can beat up everybody on the block, and so they do what you tell them to do, you have not gotten respect. What happens when your gun runs out of bullets, or somebody stronger than you shows up in the 'hood? You can't buy respect either. A big shiny car, or fancy clothes, or a lot of money will not get you respect. It may make people say, "Wow!", or "Ooh!".

It may make some people hang around you and tell you how great you are, but how many of these same people will care about you when the car crashes, the clothes get eaten by moths, and the money runs out?

It may not seem like it, but the greatest tribute you can give to somebody is to listen-really listen--to what they have to say, even if you do not necessarily agree with it. It tells that person that you think they have worth. By the same token, the greatest tribute that someone can give you is to listen to what you have to say. There are two things which characterize all great leaders:

They listen to others

Others listen to them.

Invariably, when one of these traits is lost, so is the greatness.

DON'T GET COCKY!

This is the advice a sportscaster named Howard Cosell gave to one of the greatest welterweight boxers of all time--Sugar Ray Leonard. Every loss, and they were very few, that Sugar Ray had, came when he forgot those words. There will always be somebody, somewhere, someday who does what you do, only better. I remember a world lightweight boxer named Carlos Palomino. He was helping to provide commentary on a boxing match when his co-announcer expressed surprise that Carlos was going to law school at night. Carlos told him, "One day, some young punk is going to come along and knock my block off and I want to be prepared.". Carlos Palomino lost his championship, but became a very, very successful lawyer in Mexico City.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT GETTING EVEN!

Life is too short to spend it on petty squabbles. Learn to be big enough to apologize when you have done something wrong to someone, and learn to accept an apology from someone who has done something wrong to you. Don't care what other people may say, or how they may feel--the problem is between the two of you. And sometimes, the problem is the two of you. Find out what went wrong, resolve it and get on with your life. You have too many things to do. The reason a "cycle of revenge" is called a cycle is because, like a wheel on a bike, it never ends. It just keeps on going around and around and around, and after a while a lot of people even forget where the beginning was. Think of life as a race. Any good runner can tell you, that the easiest way to lose a race is to look back over your shoulder. In a cycle of revenge, you are always having to look back over your shoulder. Live your life like a good sprinter, always looking ahead.

TAKE JOY IN YOUR FRIENDS ACHIEVEMENTS, EVEN IF THEY ARE GREATER THAN YOURS!

I learned this lesson from the most fascinating and wonderful woman I have ever known--my mom. When a friend would get a job promotion, she would be so happy that you would think that she was the one who had gotten the promotion. Though we did not have much money, and lived in a tiny four room apartment for the first 22 years of my life; though my father abandoned us, and she never found a reliable man until 2 years before her death, she persevered and spread joy wherever she went. And she was loved and respected by many. She had what many so called successful people and millionaires never have and never will have--true joy. She got that joy, because she always gave joy.

A FINAL WORD

Anybody who knows me, knows that I have a deep and abiding love and respect for children. I worry about you guys. I pray for you guys. And despite what other grownups may say about you, I am excited about your future. I have seen enough of you and talked to enough of you, and talked with enough of you to know that you all have the seeds of greatness in you. I have never forgotten what it was like to be a child, and I know that it is not as easy as so many grownups think it is. Your fears and frustrations may be different from ours, but they are just as real, and in your world, just as hard to deal with and in some ways, even harder. But persevere, keep on trying, no matter how bad it may seem to get. Learn to love each other, and know that this magic man dearly loves all of you.

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Or maybe the beginning. Thank you very much for buying this, my first ever book. I hope it was an enjoyable experience for you, and if it was in any positive way, life altering, I consider it a blessing for both of us.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Mike is a native of New Rochelle, NY, but moved to the DC area in 1949. Since then he has graduated from Holy Providence School, a little school run by the Sisters of The Blessed Sacrament for Indians and Colored Children (Founded by St. Katherine Drexel, who dedicated her life to and gave up every penny of her Drexel fortune to educate and catechize Blacks and Native Americans). He earned a degree in political science, with a minor in philosophy from Howard University (Go, Bison!) and subsequently served proudly in the 1st Battalion, 70th Armor, in Augsburg Germany. He has been a sales rep for Pfizer Labs and was promoted as the first African American assistant product manager in the pharmaceutical industry. He has been an award winning salesman for Xerox and several other companies, and finally stopped working for other people in 1983. Since then he has been the owner of a small computer company (now defunct), and has made his living as a stage and close up magician and actor. He is a member of the Screen Actors Guild, with credits in Something The Lord Made, The Wire, and House of Cards. He is a proud father of 3, grandfather of 12 and husband of 1

