- Chigalo!
(crowd cheering)
(upbeat music)
I love my community.
I love Latino people all over the world.
We don't know each other,
but we follow this simple rule.
You fuck with one bean,
you fuck with the whole burrito.
(crowd laughing)
Listen, we all have a fucking
incredible sense of humor
as Latinos, because people in our families
are sometimes funnier than
the other fucking people
you meet in real life.
(crowd laughing)
One time I told my
grandmother when I was eight,
I said, I hate you.
And she must have had one
of the chambers. Yeah.
I fucking hated you first.
(crowd laughing)
I hated you and when they
were fucking making you.
(crowd laughing)
in the house I could hear, uuuuh.
You know what I said,
fucking swallow him!
(crowd laughing)
Latinos are fucking crazy.
They don't wanna listen
to the fucking doctor.
They told me, you have a
fucking enlarged liver,
you got cirrhosis. He said,
if you drink, you will die.
My uncle went like this to the doctor.
Ooooooooh.
(crowd laughing)
The doctor looks at him and
goes, you have prostate cancer.
He looks at his wife.
You're fucking hear what he told me?
Gina, you make me come to the doctor
and fucking now I got prostate cancer.
(crowd laughing)
I didn't have it yesterday.
But fuck it today!
