

### Izzy and Eliza

###...an alien tale

Nikki Ferguson

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2013 Nikki Ferguson

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***

This book is dedicated to Jamie, Marc and Alex. Most of all, this book is dedicated to the reader. Remember to keep an open mind, because that is where the best ideas are born.

### ***

### Izzy and Eliza

###...an alien tale

**~~BEFOREWORD~~**

A girl lay on her back, watching the stars through a hole in the roof of her dilapidated tree house. As she peered into the night's universe, she felt very small.

She also felt as if she were being watched. It was eerie and uncomfortable to be watched by something that she could not name or even see for herself. Even so, curiosity lured the girl back night after night.

"I am the only one out here tonight," she muttered to herself, "but I am not alone."

It was an intriguing concept for the young girl, and it was a feeling she could not shake.

"Who are you and why are watching me?" She waited for an answer she knew would not come. No one ever answered back.

"You have no right to spy on me. Either make your presence known, or leave me alone," she said with conviction.

Many moons away, in a different space, someone observed the girl. He spied using an abnormally large, complex telescope. The being had a considerably round head, shaded with a greenish tint that almost glowed. His eyes were like shiny marbles of obsidian, staring down at the girl. Soon his transformation to human shape would be complete and very few traces of his true form would remain. Even though he knew the girl could not hear his voice, the being spoke aloud.

"See you soon, Eliza Allready, sooner than you think."

Even farther away, in an even different space, someone else observed the shape shifting boy, watching the girl. This being sat in a cozy, plaid recliner. With feet propped up, she stared at several projection screens. She called herself Yarn, and was quite possibly older than dirt, although probably not that old. Yarn remained in her own form, having abandoned the youthful follies of shape shifting centuries ago.

Even though she knew neither the boy nor the girl could hear her, she spoke nevertheless.

"This show is about to get good."

***

### *PART ONE*

~~MEET YARN~~

Our adventure begins beyond earth, deep in the stars, on a small plot of rock called Klesia Moon Prime. Klesia Moon Prime is actually the prominent moon of a larger planet, known as Klesia. The planet Klesia and its smallish moon reside just beyond earth's telescopes and satellites and various other magnification technologies.

You wouldn't have heard of it; yet. As it turns out, this may very well be the first time anyone on earth will learn anything about Klesia or its moon.

This may also be the first time a story is told with the name Izzian Klowosky or Eliza Allready. For certain our two heroes of this tale embark upon a journey full of phenomenal escapades; maybe running from the bad guy or deflating a bully here and there.

Perhaps our characters learn of the more wondrous aspects of life such as; exploring new planets, encountering unknown creatures or dare I say...falling in love?

Even if somebody falls in love along the way, this is still a story worth telling; for there will surely be enough adventure and exploration to make up for all the oversentimental bits and pieces.

Who am I to be so sure of myself, one may ask? Just know this: I have unique abilities as a storyteller and have a lived a long, long time.

My name is unimportant as I have gone through a few hundred different ones in my lifetime. You may call me The Watcher. No, that sounds too creepy and rather unsettling. You may call me an old lady, but I'd rather you not.

Yes, I have worn many names and toiled at many careers; some worth remembering and others, not so important. Once I was Natasha, a purveyor of oddly unique antiques, circling the globes, searching for the next rare treasure and my long lost love Vladimir. Perhaps if I had remained as the fierce Natasha, I'd be immune to the cold weather and would not have to turn the heater up so high.

On the other hand, I have correspondingly taken on less glamorous employment: I was a manure farmer on a planet consisting mainly of large Shilka Beasts. It was a nasty job, but somebody had to do it.

It is important to emphasize that I am addicted to spying on wondrous escapades such as Izzy and Eliza's. While I laze away the day on the observation deck in the relative safety of Leon, my own SpacePod, one might question my motives.

Why not join in or go out and create my own adventures? Well, the time has passed for me to be jaunting around the universe, planet hopping and such. I am too old and for some reason, I can never be warm enough anymore.

So now I study the young ones and watch their stories unfold like a Spanish telenovela. Sitting here in my comfy plaid recliner that I filched from a street corner in New York City, I watch these little social experiments with a spirit of wonder and awe.

I also have more practical uses. When it comes to life on other planets, there will always be a need for explanations. Without my expertise, an earthling might never understand how a Klesian student travels to earth on a comet, or where the Famien Constellation resides.

An individual could easily confuse a Chulupean with a Junipean without my help, or never understand what or who a Poo might be. That is where I come in, and I'm sure Leon and I will have a few adventures of our own, as well.

In any case, it is important to have a name, so for this tale, you may call me Yarn. I'll weave you through our tale, a single consistent thread running from one end to the next. There will surely be ups and downs and loops and turns, but eventually, the end will come.

Now I will move on to the bones of this story. Our young man hails from Klesia Moon Prime, the moon of Klesia that I mentioned before I started rambling about comets, Junipeans and my temperature preferences.

The _HumanSpeak_ version of his name is Izzian Klowosky or Izzy, as his friends like to call him. Either way, the kid's gonna have a tough time with that moniker following him around every day.

I do not have the appropriate font to support the language of Klesianeese, so we will stick with the Humanspeak version and hope for the best, even though Izzian Klowosky might not be the most earth-friendly name ever uttered.

Our boy's story is the result of an annoying little thing every middle-schooler on any planet must suffer through. It's a maddeningly frustrating irritant for Izzian in particular. You guessed it; I'm talking about good old Efuevaclcluaia. Translated to _HumanSpeak_ , I'm talking about homework.

One might imagine that an advanced society like Klesia Moon Prime would have long ago abandoned such an archaic tradition as homework. Unfortunately, one can travel to the stars and beyond and still be stuck doing math, page 119, problems 1-32; even. Although it bears mentioning, the homework assignments of Klesia go a bit beyond your basic math worksheets or a simple English class crossword puzzle.

As a matter of fact, it is this very cursed homework assignment that ends up bringing our young Izzian Klowosky to earth in the first place. I don't want to bore myself or Leon silly with too much talk of homework.

For now, let's just say that Izzy must travel to earth, study and befriend Eliza Allready, a teen earthling, a girl; thanks to an all-important homework assignment required on Klesia called the Goodwill Project.

First, travel with me if you will, far away from where you may currently be, sitting in your favorite reading spot; snack at hand, warm cup of cocoa steaming, and settle into our story.

Imagine me, Yarn, as a young girl, living in the Lagrinia System. My bones have not yet calcified and my teeth are still vividly white, but my eyes see wonderment in the ordinary.

I step outside after a snowstorm. Perhaps I am not the only one to imagine I might have stepped into another world, a new existence.

The frozen piles glisten like sugar as the reflection of the moon dances off each individual snow crystal. I do not recognize the place. I might still be asleep, because the once ordinary village square transforms into a magical dreamscape.

As the snow settles, every normal thing morphs into unrecognizable forms. The snow shapes itself into unfamiliar mounds that might be the propane grill off to the side of the porch; or that prickly old shrub in the corner by the fence. Even something as simple as a garden gnome takes on an alien form and resembles a Slimerot Slinker.

If only I could reach just beyond the snow covered fence and walk a few more steps, I might uncover another new place, a different galaxy. On the other hand, I might just freeze my toes or pinky finger clean off my body.

It's a chance I take, a decision I make, on that snowy night in the Lagrinia System, years ago. I will always search for new places and discover alternate existences. Now I invite others to do the same.

Think about that unfamiliar dreamscape in your backyard that happens after a late night snowfall. Imagine that just beyond that back fence, lies Klesia. It's there, trust me. However, as the moonlight shines, turning the world to blue, imagine if the moon cast a more greenish tint. Ah, that's more like it.

Now take another look at the propane grill and the hedge and imagine what or whom those smoothed domes may contain. On Klesia, they are homes, schools and grocery stores, offices, art galleries and movie theaters.

If the disguised garden gnome actually happens to be a Slimerot Slinker, then you'd have nothing to fear. On Klesia, Slimerot's are thought of as the family pet.

On our beloved Klesia and Klesia Moon Prime, there are hovering highways and AutoPods, just as you might imagine. There are flashing signs advertising the awesomeness of a new household cleaner or a political slogan featuring President Boojum Twoeyes.

Izzian's planet is not terribly different from your own, but it is noticeably uncommon to an earthling unschooled in the habit of space travel. For one thing, most every being on each planet, rock, crater and constellation in Izzian's neck of the universe knows that intelligent life exists all over the place. Earth just happens to be out of the loop, so now _you_ know.

As a matter of fact, those planets that are "out the loop" are easily recognizable to the alien culture. If a planet name does not begin with a capital letter, that planet is not aware of alien life in the universes, such as earth.

As I believe I've said before, this story is about to get good. And, if you think the stuff I just told you is crazy, well stick around cause things are about to go nuts.

And remember to keep an open mind, because that is where the best ideas are born.

***

CHAPTER 1

*FOUGHT FOR NAUGHT*

Izzian Klowosky was not the best student at Klesia Preparatory. He was smart and somewhat attentive; not very patient but not completely disrespectful of his teachers. There was that one time he accidentally set a girl's scalp cover (hair) on fire. And that time he glued a picture of a half-naked Klesian actress to the pull-down map.

Mrs. Kleevox got quite a shock that day when she realized she was pointing at an actress's half exposed buttocks, rather than the Loomicka Quadrant. The other students actually appreciated Izzian's humor that day.

Mrs. Kleevox wasn't unreasonably angry. She told Izzian he was hungry for attention and that she would have a word with his ortnots (parents). Izzian's ortnots were always angry, in his opinion, so he was not surprised that Ojolian and Mirtheea Klowosky had grounded him for an entire month.

Izzian considered his childish tricks and humorous classroom antics to be harmless, and did not concern himself with the consequences. Even back in his first year, Izzian indulged in thoughtless escapades, earning himself a reputation as an immature prankster.

He did not consider the aftermath of replacing the contents of his classmates' lunchboxes with Plevert droppings. Nor did he consider how Reddle F. Girth felt after he charbroiled the ends of her hair.

He simply enjoyed the act itself and the feeling of satisfaction that came along with each prank. He'd grown up some since his early days of tomfoolery, but he still rarely considered the effects of his causes.

And although Izzian knew he was not a completely horrible student, he did know that he was in no way the teacher's pet. In fact, he believed Mrs. Kleevox rather disliked him; so Izzian was perplexed when his teacher announced the name of his subject for the Goodwill Project.

The school year was almost at an end and students would have plenty of time to watch their subjects from afar and memorize cover stories. If a Klesian student wished to graduate and go on to equidistant school, they had better put in the time and pass the Goodwill Project.

Mrs. Kleevox called Izzian into her office on that bright green afternoon that Izzian feared was about to turn gray.

"Izzian Klowosky," said Mrs. Kleevox as she scanned her plascreen, "I have the details of your Goodwill Project."

He knew the reason Mrs. Kleevox had called him to her office and he wished she would get to the point already. The suspense was killing him. Ever since Izzian was a tiny alien, he dreamed about the Goodwill Project and where it would take him.

For as long as he could remember, he had imagined escaping to an exotic planet, or better yet, a travelling asteroid, changing form and becoming something else.

In his heart of hearts, Izzian Klowosky dreamed of going to earth. Earth was his guilty secret.

Which was part of the reason, when Mrs. Kleevox announced his Goodwill assignment subject, he felt so perplexed. He had come prepared for an argument, but it turned out his preparations were in vain.

"Your Goodwill subject is a female earthling," stated Mrs. Kleevox.

Without thinking, as Izzian often forgot to do, he rose from his seat and exclaimed, "Earth?" He assumed Mrs. Kleevox would send him to some far away planet covered in Shilka Beast manure. But earth was a surprise.

Although the boy secretly loved earth, his classmates would never let him forget he was chosen to go there. They would laugh and poke fun and remind him how truly boring earth was.

He _had_ wanted to show off and get chosen for Grotanoa or the Famien Constellation. He knew his classmates would, without a doubt, surreptitiously poke fun of earth. He was totally shocked that Mrs. Kleevox knew him well enough to offer up earth on a Gypodendrite platter.

"Why earth?" asked Izzian with suspicion in his voice. "Are you tricking me, Kleevox?"

The teacher remained seated and calm in the face of her student's suspicions. She had been on the receiving end of student suspicions for years and had the distinct ability to ignore them.

"I am not finished, Izzian. Please sit down." Mrs. Kleevox's tone of voice caused Izzian to cower back into his chair.

"Your subject's name is Eliza Allready and she is a female earthling," said the teacher, again ignoring the look of frustration and confusion on her pupil's face.

She continued, "You must attend equidistant school in Eliza Allready's little community, which is called _middle earth_ on school. No, I meant it is called _middle school_ on earth. No trips to _middle earth_ will be required," Mrs. Kleevox added dryly, recalling an older earth book of science fiction in which the characters travelled to the earth's core.

"You will live there for a year, blending in perfectly. You must study your subject, Ms. Allready, and complete your Goodwill Project. After that, you will return to Klesia Moon Prime and graduate. Then and only then will you be competent enough to attend equidistant school on the mainland."

Izzian was stunned. Was Mrs. Kleevox playing the biggest prank of all time? She had given him earth, but Eliza Allready was obviously female-the wrong gender. His mind scanned through all the reasons why a human, female earthling was the wrong choice for a green boy from Klesia Moon Prime.

He desperately wanted to go to equidistant school on the mainland and he secretly loved earth, but he'd hoped his subject would be a boy. Izzian had never had a brother and desperately wanted one- an earth brother, actually. The boy knew Mrs. Kleevox was expecting an argument and she would get one.

Of course, Izzian couldn't come right out and shout for joy that he was chosen for earth; he just knew that it was expected of Izzian Klowosky to cause trouble. It was expected of Izzian Klowosky to dislike teenage girls from earth and it was expected of Izzian Klowosky to dispute every decision forced upon him by his elders. It was in his nature, he believed.

If the boy had dug deep enough, he'd have recognized the wisdom of his elders. He would have accepted his fate with gusto. Unfortunately it was also expected of Izzian Klowosky to never surrender without a fight, even if he was fighting for naught.

Finally, he riled up to speak, "Mrs. Kleevox, what could I possibly have in common with a female earth teen? I mean, really. You are setting me up to fail before I even begin."

Mrs. Kleevox knew better and was in no mood to hear yet another student complain about their graduation homework assignments, entitled the Goodwill Project, as she had been hearing mostly complaints all morning long.

"It's too late, Mr. Klowosky. The elders and I have already chosen and our decisions are final. Work hard young Klesian; learn all you can and nothing can stop you from being a success," said Mrs. Kleevox with her voice edging towards boredom.

"But...but...," the young Klesian stammered, "I...you...," he couldn't quite come up with the real words he wanted to say.

"What, Mr. Klowosky, are you attempting to say?"

Finally, after building up some anger at the whole situation and realizing that it was totally out of his hands, Izzian looked into Mrs. Kleevox's large obsidian eyes and spoke. "I don't care about some girl on earth. There, I said it."

Now that the young man had started, he was suddenly unable to stop. "I. Do not care. I don't care about being a Compassionate Citizen of the Universe. I don't care about some silly teenage earth-girl and I definitely do not care about this stupid homework assignment. Goodwill Project? It should be called the ill will project. There, I said what I intended, _Mrs. Kleenex._ "

Izzian was fibbing a little, and his teacher knew it. The fact that his subject was a girl was irrelevant. He loved the planet often referred to as _the little blue ball_. Izzian was well educated on the topic of earth, having studied it extensively for a boy his age.

He certainly knew enough to call his teacher a tissue commonly used on earth for wiping one's nose. Izzian's little insult had given away his true feelings.

Mrs. Kleevox stared blankly at her troubled student, realizing she still had her work cut out with this one. Even though Izzian Klowosky would soon graduate to equidistant school, the teacher knew her job was not yet complete. He was hiding his passion for earth and dismissing the all-encompassing, most important, Order of the _Compassionate Citizen of the Universe_ , the CCU.

This will not do, reflected Mrs. Kleevox.

It was not an easy job, drilling the Compassionate Citizens of the Universe Order into young minds, day after day. However, understanding what it meant to be a CCU was the most important aspect of the Goodwill Project.

Every alien within the space travelling community disciplined CCU into every single child. All planets, even those ignorant of the existence of aliens, were expected to follow the CCU Order. Even earthlings, who had never heard the term, were expected to follow the Order.

For without the CCU Order, there would be chaos. Without believing in the strong, sincere mission of being Compassionate Citizens of the Universe, violence would reign and Universal Law would never stand a chance. Mrs. Kleevox never stopped trying to educate her pupils on being CCU, and Izzian didn't stand much of a chance either.

"Izzian," she looked deeper into her student's eyes and said, "One day you will truly understand the importance of the CCU Order and what it means to live by it. Our government, the CIC, the Council for Interplanetary Consortiums, works hard every day so you can have a chance to live a happy, war free life." Mrs. Kleevox stated, sounding every bit the teacher.

Izzian knew a lecture was forthcoming and he didn't want to hear it. "I know I know...How many times do you elders have to tell us about the CCU Order and the CIC? I'm sick to death of it. Maybe when I graduate and move to the mainland, I won't always be treated like a child...constantly hearing CCU this and CCU that and Universal Law and blah blah blah."

Izzian waited for Kleevox's anger to surface, but the seasoned teacher remained as calm as the philosophical side of a Simbiot.

Izzian felt that perhaps he had gone too far. After all, in order to actually graduate and move to equidistant school on Klesia Prime, he first had to pass his homework assignment, the Goodwill Project. He had no choice but study the _female_ earthling and he had no choice but to apologize to Kleevox.

The boy became dispirited when he realized the fix he was in and suddenly, his expected outburst did not seem so appropriate. Izzian realized that he wasn't upset because he had to study some girl from earth: He was upset because he felt he had no control over anything.

Mrs. Kleevox had been teaching for a long while and had heard it all before and she never gave up on a student. She was also wise enough to know that Izzian wanted to travel to earth, regardless of the gender of his Goodwill Subject. He was just too stubborn to admit it without a fight.

Without breaking eye contact, Kleevox's voice became whisper quiet as her words carried a tremendous weight, "There will come a time, when you desperately need answers. Where will you search for those answers? At some point, making rash decisions based on your reputation and other frivolous matters could actually hurt others," she paused and reached for Izzian's hand, a rare gesture reserved for only the most important sentiments.

She continued, "You may, one day, have someone else's life in your hands. When you are given such a solemn burden, you must dig deep into all you have learned and make important decisions based upon who you are. Who will you be, Izzian Klowosky, when the weight of someone else's life rests on your shoulders?"

Mrs. Kleevox paused long enough to allow her rhetorical question to sink in and then continued, "I am confident that when that time comes, you will truly understand the important work of our government, the CIC and the Order of the Compassionate Citizens of the Universe. You _will_ seek your answers with compassion. Then my job will be done...finally."

Izzian hadn't realized how much Mrs. Kleevox cared about him until that moment. He hadn't understood that she was so emotionally connected to her pupils and that she felt such a grave responsibility to each one.

He stared at the floor. He watched a tiny bug crawl along the leg of the desk. He picked at a loose string on his cuff and scratched a scab off his thumb. He did anything to avoid the penetrating, sagacious gaze of Mrs. Kleevox. All the while, the teacher waited patiently, as if she already knew he had finally arrived at some great realization.

Izzian was ashamed of his behavior. It was a new feeling and he was just learning how to cope with it. Of course the boy had felt ashamed before, every kid had. He was ashamed when he had farted loudly during the silence of semester exams. He'd been ashamed when his classmate, Thilillian, caught him sketching little hearts containing her initials linked to his.

If he thought long enough, he was even ashamed whenever he was caught studying earth customs. He wasn't sure why. All the kids acted as if earth paled in comparison to every other planet, when in fact, it was one of the most wondrous hunks of rock in the universe. It was for some reason, considered passé and any kid caught studying earth or speaking about earth in general was considered out of style too.

This particular shame, however, was of a different sort and Izzian wondered if just maybe he was beginning to understand what it felt like to be an adult.

Mrs. Kleevox knew her pupil was ashamed, but some inner wisdom kept her from dismissing the boy without a verbal apology. Izzian realized Kleevox would keep him in her office for as long as it took, even though she was on a tight schedule with dozens of planned meetings.

Suddenly, Izzian was not only ashamed, but he was also feeling quite selfish at the moment. It was, after all, Goodwill Project day and other students were waiting patiently to hear of their own fates as well. Seeing as how he had finally felt somewhat adult-ish, he decided to act as such.

"Mrs. Kleevox, I apologize for my childish outbursts," that was a tough thing for one such as Izzian to admit, but he was determined to prove his newly discovered maturity. "You are right...as usual," he added.

He checked his own mini plascreen that stuck like a magnetic bracelet to his wrist and quickly scrolled through the data; perusing the information regarding his Goodwill Project.

"Eliza Allready is a teenager on earth, residing in the town of Sudden Bluff, Oklahoma. I willingly transform to human while completing this assignment. I am to study her, become close to my subject and report on everything I learn on her planet, working toward becoming a Compassionate Citizen of the Universe. I accept my homework assignment and will produce a Goodwill Project worthy of graduation," Izzian had expressed, verbatim, the required response.

Mrs. Kleevox nodded and a slight smile escaped her lips, betraying the solemn atmosphere required of the moment.

Before leaving her office, Izzian turned back to Mrs. Kleevox and added, "Oh, and Mrs. Kleevox, I will make you proud."

After Izzian left her office and closed the door, Mrs. Kleevox allowed herself a deep sigh and a mental pat on the back. She knew Izzian's meeting would be a tough one and she had handled it perfectly. Thankful the meeting was over and that her student was on his way to becoming a CCU, Mrs. Kleevox called for her assistant, "Ms. Phlackjackle, call the next appointment and see if they can come right away. It seems I've finished early."

***

~~YARN TELLS ALL~~

Ha! So you see our boy Izzian has already learned something and we've only just begun. You've got to admit, that Mrs. Kleevox certainly is wise for a teacher, and crafty. I remember having had such a teacher once upon a time, centuries ago.

I attended equidistant school on the rocky landscape of the Lagrinia System. Cold, windy place such as it was. I, like Izzian, was considered a trouble maker back then. Still am. But one teacher told me to just let go and be free from all the expectations I had placed upon myself. It took a while, but I'll never forget...wait, what was I trying to remember?

In any case, Izzian Klowosky had misgivings about studying a female earthling for his Goodwill Project. Mrs. Kleevox conveyed the same message to her student that earth children learn in kindergarten: You get what you get and you don't throw a fit.

Izzian will now slowly transform to human shape before his voyage to earth's universe. Young kids today should appreciate the advancements in the field of transformation and shape shifting. Back in my day, shape shifting was a quicker process, but extremely painful.

Now, scientists have made the procedure as simple as sitting in the dentist's chair. The person preparing for transformation receives an injection and he or she slowly changes. It won't be painful, just odd. Imagine going to sleep with your own body only to awaken with the giant beak of a Beaky Buzzard, or the sixteen inch knee cap of a Firithian. It takes some time to adjust.

Another odd ritual Izzian must endure involves a plascreen insertion. Before departure, Izzian will have his plascreen inserted behind his eyes, as antiquated and uncomfortable as that sounds. Even so, it's Klesian tradition.

To prepare for his trip he must also visually watch his subject for the assignment, Eliza Allready. The best way to spy on an earthling from Klesia Moon Prime is by using the Al203 Telescope. Seems rather primitive to me, but that's the best they have.

The Al203 Telescope is a clunky thing, and with it, Klesians can see earth, but earth cannot see Klesia. It's simply a large-scale telescope made up of a ton of crystals, diamonds, a whole lotta mirrors, and several hundred thousand tons of aluminum foil.

In my studies, I've seen earthlings wear aluminum foil hats as protection against aliens invading their brains. That's absurd. Ironic, don't you think, that aluminum foil allows aliens to spy on earthlings, rather than protect the human brain from invasion? Not paramount to our story but an interesting tidbit, nonetheless.

Think of the Al203 as the biggest batch of concentrated bling in the universe. If it's reflective and shiny, it's probably thrown into the Al203. There are twin telescopes strategically placed around the universe, too. It is thought that if the huge lenses of two telescopes were to accidentally look directly at each other, an unspeakable catastrophic event would transpire.

Scientific opinions differ on that subject. Some believe the catastrophic event would mean the end of civilization on the planets; others think the reflective nature of the lenses would only cause a small ice storm. An entire group of Klesians believe it could never happen in the first place, and skip over any news relating to the telescopes, leaving the apocalyptic theories to the professional lunatics.

Anyway, with Klesia's big bad tin foil telescope, all of the kids have "watch time" to study the subject of their Goodwill Project from afar, months before leaving Klesia Moon Prime.

It may seem crass and uncouth, but Izzian was doing right by his teachers when he spied on Eliza Allready. Seeing as this is a story about an adventure, I doubt that anything goes as smoothly as all that. As a matter of fact, I have a feeling that something as simple as finding a tiny human target and spying through endless space with a dangerously crude aluminum foil blinged-out telescope is about to get way more complicated than it need be. TTYL.

***

CHAPTER 2

*IMAGES IN ALUMINUM*

This must be a fluke, Izzian silently pondered. He had been watching his subject, Eliza Allready, on the Al203 Telescope for weeks and nothing out of the ordinary had happened-so far.

He always zoomed in to the same spot, a hole in the top of the girl's rickety tree house where the earth girl spent most of her time, scribbling away in some notebook. He knew Eliza journeyed to other places within her small town, and that it wasn't practical for her to spend every second of everyday holed up in a wobbly shack nestled high in the trees.

Izzian had even seen her return to the forest chomping on a brightly colored cone of ice, but eventually, Eliza returned to her favorite spot. She seemed rather fond of the debilitated, badly painted old tree house with rusty nails poking out every which way.

There happened to be another purpose for spying on Eliza in her tree house. Izzian had no clue how to operate the massive telescope known as the Al203, and was positive he would cause some outlandish cataclysmic event if he dared to touch it. So, Eliza's tree house, with its disjointed walls and peeling paint became as familiar to the Klesian boy as the walls of his own odobo.

So when the earth girl began flailing her arms, making wild, dramatic gestures, Izzian was baffled.

"What is she doing?" the young Klesian wondered as he stared through the scope, scrutinizing the girl's movements.

Izzian tried squinting and peering in for a closer look, but the eyepiece to the Al203 scope jabbed him rudely, nearly piercing the sensitive skin around his rather large eye socket.

"Ouch!" Izzian proclaimed aloud as he flinched away from the sparkly eyepiece.

"On a list of really bad ideas, a diamond studded eyepiece on a telescope has got to be among the worst."

Dr. Yangsley and Mr. Seebot, a.k.a. the lab rats, were no doubt scuttling around the lab somewhere. Although neither the good doctor nor the pesky Mr. Seebot had invented the telescopes, they both behaved as though they had. Izzian hoped they had heard his pithy comment. He took another look into the scope, careful not to look too hard, lest he lose an eye.

There she was again, making the same odd movements. Eliza looked as if she were being swept around and around in the exhaust of a Lurulean space traveler, more commonly known on earth as a tornado.

"She must be dancing," he decided. "But what a strange dance it is. It's as if...no, it cannot be," Izzian stammered.

"She's trying to communicate with me!" With dizzying speed, the boy flinched away from the telescope and considered hiding in the closet. He suddenly felt as if he were the one being spied upon.

"That's ridiculous," he said. The boy mustered up more courage to approach the Al203. "How can Eliza possibly know I am watching her?"

But there she was, forming specific shapes with her hands, looking Izzian directly in the eyes.

"...specific shapes," he said as an important thought formed in his head.

Quickly, he reached for his wrist to tap his mini-plascreen and look up earth communication techniques. As he absentmindedly tapped on his bare wrist, he remembered his plascreen was already inserted just behind his eyes in preparation for his trip to earth. With a quick wink, one could navigate endless amounts of data.

Years ago, all students, even first years, were allowed to wear plascreens behind the eye, a practice that abruptly ended soon after it began. It was much simpler to misuse the plascreen when all one had to do was blink, rather than tap one's wrist.

Teachers complained. Ortnots complained. Every elder, except the Firithian surgeon getting paid to insert the devices, complained.

Apparently, young Klesians were using the plascreens to play games, chat, and do just about anything other than what they were supposed to be doing. Imagine that.

However, along with the Goodwill Project assignment, students of Izzian's age received the privilege of wearing a plascreen behind the eye. It came along with the transformation. It was a sign of adulthood. It was also a means of bribery for ortnots. "Behave, or I'll have your plascreen removed!"

Izzian blinked, accessing his newly inserted plascreen. In an instant, the boy was flooded with information-information overload. He grabbed his head in agony and rubbed his newly forming human-like eyes, attempting to stop the feverishly scrolling words and disjointed images that threatened to shatter his skull.

His eyelids fluttered uncontrollably trying to navigate through unasked for references such as _The Earth's Aardvark's Role in the Decline of Western Civilization_. He bookmarked that particular reference for later perusal. It was too strange to pass up.

He continued seeking the information he needed, wishing that the new plascreen wasn't so difficult to operate. The elders claimed that eventually the device would be easier to use and he'd become more at ease with his changing features. Hopefully the elders were right because Izzian was feeling his frustration mount.

"I feel like a lost plissst," the boy mumbled. He recalled that a plissst was similar in shape to a sheep on earth; not so similar in size, since a plissst was roughly ten times larger than the average sheep.

"Let's see...earth communication methods...non-verbal," Izzian searched as quickly as his newly formed eyeballs and plascreen would allow.

"Aha! Found it!" After proving that his hunch was correct, Izzian flew out of the room to find an elder scientist.

He frantically searched for Dr. Yangsley or Mr. Seebot to announce his discovery. Eliza was communicating to him using a half-baked form of earth sign language and somebody needed to witness it; somebody important.

To Izzian it seemed as if elders were never around when needed, but always showed up when they were needed the least. Neither Yangsley nor Seebot seemed to be wandering around the lab.

Izzian knew that eventually Mr. Seebot would show up at the end of his turn, so he decided to return to the Al203 Telescope room and wait. At last Izzian would be able to demonstrate his findings to someone- even if that _someone_ happened to be a prissy robot man who endeavored to be organic. He would tell Seebot that Eliza knew she was being watched and blow the half-man's mind.

When Izzian sped back to the telescope room, Mr. Seebot was already there. The scientist was reprogramming the telescope for another student's scheduled watch time. Izzian had missed his turn, and his chance at proving Eliza was speaking to him. The scientists would never believe that an earthling was communicating to a Klesian without seeing it first.

Thilillian Yangsley stood near the telescope peeking over Mr. Seebot's shoulder. It was her turn to watch her own Goodwill subject, but she was more interested in watching Seebot. Apparently, Thil was attempting to learn how to program the device herself and Izzian admired that in a girl.

He also suspiciously wondered whom, what or where Thilillian had an interest in besides her Goodwill subject. _Why would Thil need to sneak looks over Seebot's shoulder to reprogram the Al203 unless she had a secret?_

Suddenly he got very green and quite jealous when he considered Thilillian may have a boyfriend on another planet. He pictured her sitting at a romantic table for two, peering through the Al203, sipping a glass of apriguavo wine. The image faded quickly as the absurdity of the scene almost made Izzian laugh aloud: Thilillian having a romantic dinner with an enormous telescope? Offering it a glass of wine? Giving the Al203 a little kiss on the cheek?

_Izzian, you are an idiotic Glotfish._ He chided himself. He shook his head to remove the outlandish visions involving Thilillian and a giant telescope making goo-goo eyes at each other.

Izzian became aware of the girl's intent focus. Suddenly, standing there, watching the confident Klesian girl memorizing Mr. Seebot's every move, Izzian grew worried. He was concerned at Thilillian's boldness, hoping her skills matched her bravado.

He tapped Thil on the shoulder and summoned her into the hall. Izzian felt the need to warn Thil about messing with the telescope. "Thilillian, are you planning to program the Al203 yourself? Haven't you heard how dangerous they are? I'm surprised that you aren't more worried about blowing up the planet or something," Izzian said.

Thilillian rolled her eyes and said, "Honestly, Izzian, I'm surprised that you listen to all that hype. What harm could arise from a mass of gigantic, princess-cut diamonds heaped into a cone of aluminum foil? Besides, I'm only watching-not touching, okay?"

Either way, Izzian wouldn't dare touch the programming of the thing and he was a prankster well-known for producing large scale shenanigans. He hoped the girl knew what she was doing.

All the immediate concerns about Thilillian possibly blowing up the planet suddenly disappeared. Izzian remembered the reason he was standing there. He had made an important discovery.

He had to watch Eliza for another minute before Mr. Seebot reprogrammed the calculations. He had to stop Mr. Seebot. He needed more time on the Al203.

"Wait!" Izzian grabbed Mr. Seebot by the arm, jostling the elder as he typed.

The Al203, like most devices on Izzian's planet, provided a laser air keyboard-an airboard. To access an airboard, one only had to snap, and letters would appear as though suspended in thin air. With the swish of a finger, or tentacle, or whatever appendage one happened born with, commands could be easily typed.

Mr. Seebot had accessed the airboard and was in the midst of air typing an important code when Izzian bumped into him. Without thinking, Mr. Seebot finished entering his commands and swished his finger, pressing the 'enter' key.

Suddenly, the three Klesians heard an enormous grinding sound and felt the ground vibrate beneath their feet. The walls shook as the telescope followed Mr. Seebot's erroneous command. They covered their ears when the grinding was followed by what sounded like a high pitched, colossal scratch.

It appeared that Izzian, Thil and Mr. Seebot had done the unthinkable. They had broken the most dangerous telescope in the galaxy.

***

~~YARN BUTTS IN~~

Things are really beginning to get interesting on Klesia Moon Prime. If Mr. Seebot has actually broken the Al203 Telescope, who knows what could happen next. There are countless possibilities, each one worse than the next.

By the way it's me, your gifted storyteller, Yarn. I'm the glorious bard unable to sing or play the lute, but I can jam a few power chords on a _Drutar_ , which is a cross between a drum set and a guitar...duh.

After the horrific screeching and grinding of the telescope, Izzy, Mr. Seebot and Thil froze, afraid to move or react for fear of triggering some reaction. They stood silently and looked wide-eyed at one another, wondering what would come next, waiting for the next domino, or even world, to fall. No one moved a muscle.

The telescope had obviously turned the wrong direction and scrapped against something. As everyone on the planets knew, both of the Al203 Telescopes were connected and could be programmed from the lab on Klesia Moon Prime. If Mr. Seebot accidentally reprogrammed the opposing telescope as well, the Klesians might finally face the cataclysmic event they had all been expecting.

The three Klesians standing before the Al203 knew that if it were to collapse, they were doomed. They were, without a doubt, standing exactly in the wrong spot if shattering chunks of diamonds and shards of slicing crystals broke loose and crashed down directly upon their heads.

Not to mention that heaps of aluminum foil tumbling from a few hundred feet above would not exactly feel like a soft caress. It would hurt as much as anything. Seebot seemed more afraid of getting his butt chewed by his boss, though.

Spoiler alert: Mr. Seebot is not one hundred percent organic. He's part organic and part artificial, a mechanical with living parts. Everybody knows he's an artificial, but he tries so hard to act like everyone else...organics that is.

Even though old Yarn may be grouchy and ill-tempered on occasion, on several occasions according to Leon my SpacePod, my dislike for Mr. Seebot is authentic. By now, you probably realize that I have watched Izzian for quite some time, as he spied on Eliza. Since Seebot runs the Al203 Telescopes, I've had to watch him too.

I'll venture to say that Mr. Seebot is not my favorite robot-man of all time. He treats the students with contempt and anger. His mind is narrow, and his views are stunted.

The man didn't even need to _type_ on the air board. All he had to do was point his internal input/output beam at the telescope's input/output beam and program it in less than a millisecond. But, he'd rather do it the old fashioned way and pretend he's not an artificial. Seems like Mr. Seebot is thinking like an organic already, trying to pretend he's something he's not.

How rude of me, though. Technically speaking, Leon is part artificial as well and I'd never speak ill of him. Have I mentioned Leon yet? He's my SpacePod, my ship, my friend. Built partially artificial and partially organic, he's the best there is.

The artificial part of Leon gives us the ability to fly and compute and do all of those mechanical things that are difficult for me to do alone. The organic part of Leon allows for physical changes when needed.

Sometimes in space travel, we need to fit into tight places, or become something different altogether. Leon has the ability to do so. Also, being organic gives Leon the ability to age. It's debatable whether or not his organic side gives him the ability to understand love, but who really understands love anyway?

Unfortunately for our Izzy, the similarities betwixt Leon and Mr. Seebot end there. Leon is basically a nice guy, whereas Mr. Seebot needs a good kick in the butt, metaphorically speaking of course. I'm not a violent person, but I am having a hard time liking that Mr. Seebot.

More to the point, Izzian has realized that Eliza Allready knows he has been watching her with the Al203 Telescope. He may never get to prove his theory, since Seebot has miscalculated the programming. The telescope may be crashing down upon their heads as we speak. Let's find out.

***

CHAPTER 3

*WAITING FOR THE SKY TO FALL*

Izzian broke the silence first, "That did not sound good."

Thilillian shook her head and agreed. Mr. Seebot glared at Izzian then looked helplessly and pleadingly at Thilillian, evidently more concerned with his own reputation than having his head crushed by a cascade of aluminum foil.

It was obvious Mr. Seebot was afraid Thilillian would mention the accident to her father, but she wasn't the type to run to daddy and tattle. Even though her father was the head scientist on Klesia Moon Prime, Thilillian was not prone to ever mentioning it. She habitually denied her relation all together.

Dr. Yangsley was often viewed as a somewhat pompous man, though no one dared say that anywhere near Thilillian or her father. And Thil didn't discuss personal matters with anyone, as far as Izzian knew.

Finally, after a few brief moments of waiting for the sky to fall and upon the realization that they probably hadn't destroyed a planet somewhere, Mr. Seebot grabbed Izzian by the sleeve of his shirt.

"That was a really stupid thing to do, _Izzian Klowosky_ ," seethed Mr. Seebot, sneering out the boy's name as if he were scraping off the leavings of a Slimerot Slinker from the bottom of his shoe.

"Do you realize what may happen if two opposing lenses were to meet? I'll have you know that one false calculation of the reprogramming of the Al203 Telescope could cause catastrophic damage the likes of which you and your little girlfriend have never seen!"

Izzian was appalled. The man had gone there. He had actually called Thilillian his _girlfriend_. What shame Izzian felt at that moment. Did everyone on Klesia and the Moon Prime know about his infatuation with Thilillian?

Mr. Seebot quickly performed a diagnostic systems check of the Al203 and discovered that he could find nothing wrong in the immediate universe. So far, each planet in the vicinity was still in existence and the scope was functioning properly.

"You are lucky, Mr. Klowosky," he repeated Izzian's name in the same condescending manner. "If I could, I would ban you from the Al203 for life. Instead, I'll go on record as saying that you are banned for the week, effective right now. I hope you fail your little Goodwill Project too."

"So nothing is broken?" Thilillian asked, disbelieving that the sounds she had heard earlier hadn't resulted in some massive destruction.

"No, Miss Yangsley. It appears that everything is okay...I know I typed the correct code, but that idiot pushed me...The scans all read normal, though. Let's just keep this between ourselves and no one will be the wiser. Understood?" Mr. Seebot said, obviously afraid of being called out for breaking the expensive, dangerous telescope.

"Mr. Klowosky, if I see you in this lab again, I'll have armed guards send you directly to detention. You can take your girlfriend and leave. See that he doesn't return, Miss Yangsley," Mr. Seebot said.

He was getting very good at taunting Izzian. Detention was not pleasant on Klesia, in fact, it was considered dangerous, and Seebot knew exactly what to say to displease the boy.

Izzian's first response was usually anger and insults and the occasion did call for that in his opinion, especially since Thilillian had witnessed the entire degrading rant. However, Izzian desperately needed to see Eliza again.

He needed to see if the earth girl was attempting to speak to him with sign language, a form of communication on earth. He couldn't do that if Seebot banned him for the week.

"So, is this a bad time to ask if I can use the Al203 for just a few minutes longer? I mean, I know it's Thilillian's turn and everything, but you see-"

Mr. Seebot stopped the boy short by throwing his hand in Izzian's face and skulking out of the room, mumbling, "Detention, Mr. Klowosky...do not come back...What if I get blamed for that little ingrate messing everything up..." until he could no longer be seen nor heard, thankfully.

"I guess that's a _no_ ," Izzian said, dispiritedly, adding, "I can't believe a robot just gave me the hand in the face thing."

Sadly, his investigation of Eliza Allready and her ability to sense someone watching her from so far away would have to wait, at least for another week.

Thilillian bit her lip and whispered, "Not necessarily,"

"Excuse me?" Izzian looked at the cunning girl in wonder.

"Well, it seems as if you have something important to see and I don't mind if you take my turn today. I mean, I have so much to do. I have to practice my speech for the Sendoff Ceremony and Reddle wants to go shopping for a new Sendoff outfit..."

Thilillian shifted uncomfortably on her feet, knowing that Izzian and Reddle were born enemies. Reddle was a girl in Izzian's Pre-Anatomical Calculative Mass class and she never shied away from making Izzian look like a Glotfish.

Thil continued, "To tell the truth, I'm already bored of watching my Goodwill subject. Her name is Oseca and she lives in the Juniper Colony on Footfall Freighter. I mean, I'm sure Oseca is nice and all but how much can I learn about her by just spying for a few hours a day?"

"You're going to Footfall Freighter?" Izzian couldn't believe his ears. "Thilillian, you are the luckiest Klesian...I can't believe you get to do your Goodwill Project on a 'stroid!"

He was astonished. Footfall had been Izzian's favorite minor planet for as long as he could remember. Besides housing a few colonies of aliens, the asteroid was a galaxy hopper.

Although technically speaking, Footfall Freighter was not really an asteroid. It was more like a small planet, a shell of a planet really, hollowed out for habitation and storage.

The asteroid, or 'stroid, featured a unique propulsion system, which allowed it to travel all over many universes. Thilillian would spend a year on the most popular transportation and delivery freighter ever formed. The lucky girl would cover more universal miles than any other student during her Goodwill Project and Izzian was jealous.

"Wow. I wish I were going with you...I mean, not with _you_ ," Izzian's skin turned a brighter green, "Not that going with you would be so bad," he stammered. "I wish I were going on a transport freighter, that's all," Izzian quickly wrapped things up since all of his stuttering and stammering was getting weird.

Thilillian nodded her head and grinned. "I know what you meant, okay Izzian? So, do you want my turn today or not?"

"How? I appreciate your offer and all, but imagine the damage I would cause if I tried to reprogram the Al203. I'm afraid Mr. Seebot wouldn't do it for me. You may not have noticed, but he seems a tad displeased with me."

"Yes, I had noticed," she responded flatly.

Izzian desperately needed to see Eliza again, to confirm his sanity if for no other reason. He knew Eliza was communicating, but what if he'd made a mistake and she was simply practicing conducting an orchestra or something.

Izzian did not want to let Thil in on his hunch until he was positive. He had to keep Eliza's communications a secret. Thankfully, Thilillian didn't ask why he needed to use the telescope one more time, and she seemed rather adept at keeping secrets.

Before Izzian could say another word, Thilillian snapped her fingers. The telescope's airboard appeared before her, casting an ominous glow on her pale green skin.

Thilillian focused her eyes on the screen and began typing ferociously. Izzian noticed her saying little things under her breath as if she were telling her fingers what to say and how to say it.

Afraid of hearing another grinding and screech from the telescope, Izzian asked, "Thil, what are you doing?" He didn't want to sound too panicky, but he did want Thil to use caution.

"Shush. I know what I'm doing," she said as her fingers flew over the air board.

Izzian admired to girl's confident nature but could not help being terrifically nervous. "Look Thil, we just heard the telescope scratch against something. What if we broke it? Even if Seebot said it was okay, he was probably just afraid he'd get blamed. Maybe you should just leave it alone. The elders say that one slight miscalculation might cause some terrible explosion or something," Izzian said anxiously. He was trying to talk some sense into the girl.

Thilillian retorted, "Or, according to another batch of elders, it might just rain diamonds. Would that be so bad? Argh! Do you want to watch this Eliza girl or not? Please just relax and let me get on with it. Stop acting like a baby."

Izzian shut his mouth. He desperately needed to see Eliza again, now that he knew she was communicating with him, but fear of the Al203 Telescopes ran deep. They were reputed to be the most dangerous technological advancement of the last century.

Just as Izzian was about to make a mess in his pants due to nervousness, Thilillian suddenly looked up from her typing and scanned the readout screen.

"There. That should do it," she announced with certainty and a massive touch of pride in her own abilities. She pressed the _enter_ key with a flourish.

The boy stood perfectly still, waiting for the boom that would surely follow. After a moment, Izzian allowed himself to relax, realizing Thil may have successfully reprogrammed the telescope, despite his bellyaching. He sighed in relief when the planet and its moon didn't explode, and felt silly for pestering the girl so badly.

Izzian peered into the telescope and saw Eliza impatiently tapping her foot way down on earth through the hole in her rickety old tree house.

"How in the moons did you learn how to do that?" Izzian was both impressed and jealous at the same time.

She cracked her fingers and stretched her back and smiled at Izzian's begrudging form of flattery.

"Well, as you know, I've interned at the Al203 Telescopes since I was a third year in school. Also, my Goodwill Project is obviously on Footfall Freighter which happens to move around a lot. I've had to watch Mr. Seebot tracking it several times."

Izzian shook his head in admiration, pretending to ignore the fact that her dad was the boss, and as such, Thil may have had more hands-on opportunity and Al203 access than most. Even though the girl had grown up in the lab, he was fascinated that she never once mentioned her father among her achievements.

Most kids would brag nonstop if their ortnot was such a powerful Klesian as Dr. Yangsley, but Thil preferred to hoard all of her own glory, in a good way, it seemed to Izzian. She obviously needed to prove her own worth and he respected that.

The girl leaned in close and whispered into Izzian's ear, "I have learned a few things by paying attention over the shoulders of my elders when they type. Let's just say I spy on more than Oseca on Footfall Freighter," and she gave a conspiratorial wink.

Suddenly, Izzian thought he was in love; or, perhaps it was a feeling of strong admiration.

"Eek," Thilillian violently shook her head, "I can't seem to get used to this plascreen behind my eye. Every time I wink I end up accessing tons of useless information on the mating habits of the Shilka Beast of the Chulupean Colony and other nonsense..."

Thilillian absentmindedly walked out of the room, rubbing her eyes. Izzian wondered, not for the first time, what other transformations Thil would undergo in order to fit in at the Juniper Colony.

Afraid she would actually leave before he could thank her, Izzian reached boldly for her hand. "Hey, thanks Thil," he added, looking into her eyes. "Maybe I'll see you at the Sendoff Ceremony?" He asked the statement like a question, hoping the girl would set a time and place to meet.

"No problem. And hey, I hope you find what you're looking for with...it's Eliza Allready, isn't it?" she asked.

"What's Eliza Allready?" said Izzian in a confused haze. Had he just asked her out, and had she blown him off? His head was spinning.

"Your Goodwill subject? Your earth girl, Eliza Allready," Thilillian pointed to the telescope focused directly on Eliza's impatient form. "I suppose she's pretty, in a wholesome earthy kind of way," she added nonchalantly.

He shook his head _yes_ then realized he'd meant to say _no_ but Thil was walking out of the room and it didn't matter at that point. With a dizzy head, Izzian watched the girl he might have grown to love walk out of the room, almost forgetting about Eliza Allready, again.

***

~~YAKKING FROM YARN~~

Suddenly things are getting a bit more complicated; with two females tugging on Izzy's heart strings rather than the one. That Thilillian Yangsley certainly added more heat to the fire. I'm Yarn, in case you've forgotten the name of your narrator. I forget things all the time.

More to the point, Thilillian is a smart girl, if not a tad over confident. Reminds me a little of...I can't remember who she reminds me of, but I like her. Even if she is sneaky; spying over Mr. Seebot's shoulder like that, naughty girl. Yes, reminds me a bit of _me_ , spying on _her._

Too bad the feisty girl will be far away on her own Goodwill Project with Oseca, studying the Juniper Colony on Footfall Freighter for a year. Then again, who knows what will happen in a year?

Say, did Thilillian seem a little jealous of our earth girl, Eliza, or am I just imagining things again? Like that time I imagined that my long lost love Vladimir actually did love me as well. Like I imagined he would meet me at the train station at midnight so we could run away together?

He never showed and I ended up getting caught by the Broshinka brothers who were not happy that I was leaving town with the incomparable Serengeti Sapphire. I found it first!

Word to the wise, you don't want to mess with those boys. I ended up on a Shilka Beast farm on some dilapidated hunk of rock with mud up to my thighs.

I wonder if the Klesian people will think Izzian imagined the whole sign language thing. Think he will even tell anyone that Eliza knows he's watching her from afar? I wonder if anyone would believe him if he did.

Let's not forget to mention the fact that Izzian practically asked Thilillian out on a date and she didn't even answer him. Maybe she didn't hear him, what with all the telescope reprogramming and all. Either way, I have a feeling Thilillian is quite calculating with more than just the Al203 telescope and Izzy may be in way over his head when it comes to that girl Thil.

***

CHAPTER 4

*WE BEES YOU NO SWARM*

After Izzian made sure Thilillian had successfully snuck out of the lab, his thoughts quickly returned to Eliza down on earth. He immediately peered into the scope. Eliza Allready was still there, as if she knew Izzian would return.

Even from so far away, he felt as if he and Eliza were old friends; a completely different sentiment than he shared with Thilillian. Each encounter with Thil felt new and somewhat aloof. But with Eliza, they could be light years apart using an imaginary language and both still have the ability to understand one another, even though they had never met face to face.

Eliza used her hands and signed the same statement continually until Izzian had a general idea of what she was saying.

"Why are you watching me?" Eliza asked in her clumsy version of sign language.

Of course, there was no way for Izzian to answer her back. It was a good question, and obviously the earth girl was trying to see if he had a way to answer her.

When he didn't answer, she moved on to other questions, occasionally peering over her shoulder as if she were afraid someone might catch her speaking to the empty night sky or an invisible friend.

He imagined Eliza may have been questioning her own sanity at that point, but it didn't stop her. She had a hunch that she was being watched and she needed answers.

Eliza was rusty and inaccurate with sign language and Izzian was even worse at interpreting sign language, so he translated rather random, odd statements such as, "Is the donkey flinging nuts?" and "Do bees like to swarm?"

_What?_ Izzian didn't understand, but the earth girl kept asking, "Do bees like to swarm?"

Eliza also asked him if he were a member of the _Starship Federation._ He wasn't sure what that meant but he assumed it had something to do with her next question which was, "Do you use anal probes?"

Izzian was disgusted and hoped that he misunderstood the question and that humans didn't practice anal probing either. Thankfully, his research had not mentioned it so far.

Eliza also asked, "Are you pimply again?"

Aloud, but to himself, he answered, "No, Eliza. We are not pimply. We do not even have skin pores."

He didn't think he had interpreted her question correctly and wondered why the girl would ask if his people were covered in zits. She had a greater concern than zits, it seemed. Suddenly he understood her true question which was, "Are you simply a friend?" Because the next statement was, "Please don't kill us."

The next plea was the same, and the next and the next.

Izzian wanted to answer her. He wanted to tell her that violence was the last thing Klesians wanted. How could Izzian possibly tell her about his mission to become CCU? _Compassionate Citizens of the Universe_ was difficult enough to say in his own language, but he for sure couldn't sign it in English.

Even if he could, Eliza could neither see nor hear him. Izzian didn't want Eliza to hate him and all of Klesia or be afraid that her planet was in danger, so he spoke the words aloud and willed Eliza to understand.

He looked directly at the girl and said in a sincere, meaningful way, "We mean you no harm, Eliza."

Then it dawned on him and he understood.

"We bees you no swarm, Eliza. We bees you no swarm."

***

~~YARN'S ELUCIDATIONS~~

Let's interrupt our broadcast so I can play newscaster, since I'm a nosy old woman with little else to do. Our boy Izzian may be in the Al203 lab, communicating with an earthling, but out on the streets of Klesia Moon Prime a party rages.

The annual Sendoff Ceremony celebrates and pays tribute to the Klesian students preparing for their famous Goodwill Projects. For three full days the streets are packed with hordes of aliens, wishing the students luck on their journeys. It is the biggest party of the year, and as everyone knows, aliens love a good party. Species from every planet imaginable attend the festivities, creating an atmosphere of exotic wonderment.

One may find oneself standing next to a Firithian munching on a chocolate-covered Blanchovie, a small fish residing in the muddy waters of the Jum-Jum River. Or one might see a few Lagrinian children playing Freeze Tag with Grotanoan Freeze-Ray Guns. Keep in mind that on an alien planet, Freeze Tag takes on an entirely literal meaning. One may even be lucky enough to witness a Raging Slunt Notte circle round and round on the carnival ride known as a Tilta-Swirl.

A Slunt Notte riding the Tilta-Swirl is definitely a site worth seeing, but heed my advice and remain a comfortable distance away from the spectacle. Picture a lump of jelly in a lidless blender, and you'll understand why I recommend caution.

My point, as drawn out as it may seem, is that the streets of Klesia were full that afternoon, fuller than usual. While Izzian was in the Al203 lab, making an important scientific observation, the Klesians and multiple other races of aliens were living it up on the streets of Klesia Moon Prime.

***

CHAPTER 5

*WORLD WAR U*

After that meaningful, quiet moment, when Izzian translated Eliza's fearful words, all heck broke loose in the main lab on Klesia Moon Prime. The boy was astonished that his Goodwill Subject had communicated with him, and he was even more stunned that he was able to interpret and understand some of the girl's questions. Although he did not mean the earth girl any harm, Izzian knew that he could not, in good conscience, keep the communications a secret.

At first, the boy _had_ considered keeping his earth girl interactions private, but was afraid it might jeopardize his mission. What if Eliza had rallied the troops or something?

What if earth's leaders believed Eliza had spoken to an alien and they captured him as soon as he arrived on earth? What if he and Eliza had started a universal war... _World War U?_

First and foremost, Izzian was worried about screwing up his homework assignment.

He tentatively approached Mr. Seebot and said in a nice calm manner, "MY SUBJECT SPEAKS TO ME!"

He declared it so loudly, that Dr. Yangsley even took notice. When the doctor peeked out of his office, wondering what all the commotion might be about, Seebot urged him to ignore the ruckus and go back to his all-important studies.

Mr. Seebot pulled the boy into a small room out of Dr. Yangsley's sight, narrowed his eyes and asked, "Why are you still here? It was Thilillian Yangsley's turn on the Al203."

Oops, thought Izzian. He didn't plan on getting Thil involved. He was simply trying to understand how Eliza knew she was being watched. Surely it had happened before.

Goodwill Projects had existed for years. However, watch time sessions with the Al203 Telescope were a more recent invention and surely Mr. Seebot would listen to his pleas and help; but Izzian needed to keep Thil's name out of it. He had to make up an excuse to keep her out of trouble.

Thinking quickly, Izzian said, "Oh, she _was_ here, having her turn. She just left. She said something about...shopping or something. Uh, an appointment she had to keep. She had to get her teeth scraped."

Since Thil had mentioned her plans to meet Reddle F. Girth, Izzian thought it appropriate that Reddle inspired such an unpleasant lie as getting one's teeth scraped. He also thought that his discovery was an important one and that Seebot needed to know.

Mr. Seebot paused for a moment as if he were scanning his memory banks and said, "I banned you from the lab for a week, Mr. Klowosky. I'm afraid you've gotten yourself bursted."

Izzian hated it when Seebot tried to use earth slang because the robot-man couldn't seem to get it right. _Why is he dismissing me like a child telling imaginary stories?_

"Did you not hear me, Mr. Seebot? This is way more important than getting myself _bursted_. I said my Goodwill subject is speaking to me...from earth."

Mr. Seebot did not like to receive correction of any sort, especially regarding his improper usage of earth slang, especially from the likes of Izzian Klowosky.

He snatched Izzian's collar and leaned in close to the boy. Practically foaming at the mouth, Seebot growled, "The only reason I am not reporting you for unauthorized usage of the Al203 is because I am a good man. If you were a smart young man, you would leave my site and stop pestering me with such unequivocal nonsense."

"Right, Mr. Seebot. The only reason you are not reporting me to Dr. Yangsley is because you are afraid I'll mention your clumsy reprogramming of the Al203. You could have destroyed a planet for Klesian's sake! I'd be doing our people a disservice if I let you get away with that, now wouldn't I?"

If Izzian had thought before he spoke, he'd have kept his mouth shut on the subject of Seebot's shortcomings. He might have also realized that threatening Seebot had only made the robot-man angrier.

Unfortunately, once the boy was on a roll, he rarely stopped. The words flowed from his mouth like diarrhea.

Izzian released himself from Mr. Seebot's grasp and said, "Doesn't Dr. Yangsley get angry when you type in commands manually? Didn't he hire you so there would be no "organic" programming errors with the telescopes? What would the good doctor think if he knew you'd defied his orders? I've heard a few rumors that those telescopes are somewhat unstable, Seebot. What would Yangsley think if he knew about your accident earlier today? I wonder, did he ask you what that huge terrible sound was? Did you tell him, Mr. Seebot?"

The half organic man known as Seebot suddenly looked frightened. He began mumbling, "...told the doctor it was a perfectly normal sound...I told him I was executing a mechanical scan."

Izzian slowly circled Mr. Seebot, adding drama to his accusations, and then he closed in for the kill. "I thought robots didn't make computing errors but it seems you, Mr. Seebot, are nothing more than a Roomba on steroids."

For some reason, Izzian's insult had the opposite effect on Seebot and the half-man's fear revolved back into fuming anger. After calling Mr. Seebot a glorified robotic vacuum cleaner commonly used on earth, Izzian knew he'd gone too far and it was time to leave. He ran for the closest _organic_ Klesian he could find which happened to be Dr. Yangsley.

Izzian sped to the doctor with Mr. Seebot close behind. He tried to slow down before running into Dr. Yangsley, but Seebot hadn't stopped soon enough. They both crashed into the doctor like a bull crushes a matador who's too slow with the red cape.

"What in the gleestix?" Dr. Yangsley found himself lying on the ground, glasses askew, with beakers of sizzling liquids haphazardly strewn about the room in piles of broken glass.

Izzian offered a hand to help Dr. Yangsley to his feet, but Mr. Seebot pushed the boy aside. Intent on gaining a smidgeon of favor, Seebot knelt over the fallen man, groveling excessively. Finally, the doctor impatiently pushed his assistant away and stood up on his own, frowning at the chemicals spattered all over his pristine white lab coat.

Breathless from his high speed chase with a robot, Izzian begged, "Dr. Yangsley, I really need to tell you something."

"You little ingrate," Yangsley responded, snuffing out several small fires that had ignited upon his right sleeve. "What are you doing in my lab? We allow you children lab access for those perturbing Goodwill Projects and you assiduously, consecutively, impertinently disregard the rules."

Even though Yangsley had used several important sounding words with tons of syllables, Izzian giggled. In his mind, the elder scientist sounded like a ridiculously ostentatious self-obsessed Glotfish. He also wondered how the doctor had developed such a snobbish sounding accent. As far as Izzian knew, the Yangsley family had lived on Klesia Moon Prime for generations, and no one else on the planet sounded like such a stuck-up know-it-all.

Dr. Yangsley was not finished. "You've spoilt my lab coat, scampering about like a Slimerot Slinker. Have your ortnots taught you nothing about civility and respect? Little ingrates..."

Dr. Yangsley was not concerned with Izzian's actual problem. He was more concerned with his _spoilt_ lab coat and his five dollar words. Izzian suddenly felt sorry for Thilillian. With a dad like Yangsley, it was no surprise that she hardly spoke of him. Izzian couldn't help himself; he had to say something to defend his honor _and_ Thil's.

The boy cleared his throat, gained more courage, and proclaimed, "I am here on official Goodwill business, Yangsley. I am expected to be in the lab. And case you need reminding, one of those _little ingrates_ you dislike so much just happens to be your very own daughter. Or did you forget that for a minute...or a lifetime," he mumbled under his breath.

"How dare you? Do not mention my daughter to me, young Klesian. She is none of your concern. Who are you to speak so directly to an elder? You are banned from my lab for a lifetime!"

Neither Dr. Yangsley nor Mr. Seebot seemed to care that Izzian's earth subject was communicating to him through the Al203. If the two scientists would have stopped chastising the boy for simply existing and listen to him, they might actually care about the information.

Granted, Izzian knew he could have approached the situation differently from the beginning, but things had gone the way they had. There was no changing that.

Izzian's anger festered, but he realized he'd never get the right kind of attention by being angry and ornery. He had tried that already with Seebot. Knowing that neither Yangsley nor Seebot believed his story, Izzian decided to appeal to their inner scientist.

"Listen, aren't scientists supposed to have an open mind? Just because something has never happened before, doesn't mean that it can't happen," Izzian said, wondering if that made sense.

After a tense pause, Dr. Yangsley grudgingly replied, "Fine. Speak your piece young man, then leave. Any more tomfooleries and I shall summon your father, Ojolian, in here."

Even after all of the harsh words they'd shared, Dr. Yangsley knew that any information regarding the Al203 telescope was newsworthy. It had been at least two weeks since Yangsley had appeared on any talk shows or in any newspapers, so he gave Izzian a chance to speak. For his part, Izzian tried to avoid any further involvement with the fellow named Tom Fooleries, even though he knew of no such person.

Izzian let out a breath and began, "My earth subject is Eliza Allready. She is speaking to me through the Al203 using a very special form of earth communication. Eliza is using something called sign language to speak to me.

"It involves moving the hands, arms and sometimes the entire body, to communicate without actually speaking. It's as if she knows I can't actually hear her, but she knows I'm watching her." He paused for a deep breath.

"So, I thought you might want to know," Izzian added, relieved to have finally explained his contact with Eliza the earthling.

Izzian waited for what seemed like an eternity until finally Dr. Yangsley's face showed an emotion. Unfortunately, the emotion was wrong. Dr. Yangsley had smiled. The smile turned into a giggle. The giggle erupted into hearty laughter.

Dr. Yangsley's laughter was so intense, the older scientist began wheezing and coughing. Izzian had just poured out his heart and confessed that an earthling was communicating with Klesia Moon Prime. The only response he received for his troubles was full-fledged enthusiastic laughter. Dr. Yangsley hadn't believed a single word.

***

CHAPTER 6

*CHAOS-N-SUE*

Izzian, angry that the scientists had laughed at him, stole into the communications lab, intent on announcing his discoveries to the citizens of Klesia. Without a second glance at the chuckling Dr. Yangsley and Mr. Seebot, Izzian took off in a sprint, headed for the communications lab.

Without considering the consequences of his actions, the boy manually locked himself in the room and swished on the cameras for the main big-vid located in the middle of town. Izzian's giant head took up most of the big-vid screen, still slightly green and not quite human in size yet.

He fiddled with the controls, working quickly. The furious Dr. Yangsley and Mr. Seebot could rush in and stop him at any moment.

It was an unfortunate coincidence that Izzian had interrupted a particularly prickly student performing her Sendoff Ceremony speech about the wonders of Grotanoa. Reddle F. Girth was in the middle of explaining how suitable it was that she had been chosen to go the most popular planet in existence when Izzian cut her off.

"Is this thing on?" _Tap, tap, tap_ as Izzian tested the sound.

Uncomfortable moans emanated throughout the crowd as the microphone squealed in protest, causing everyone to cover their respective auditory input valves.

The screeching microphone had grabbed the crowd's irritated attention, and down in the streets, spectators stopped what they were doing. All eyes focused on the commotion playing on the big-vid.

A small Chulupean child tugged on his mother's tail, asking, "Who's dat big head on dat big scween? That ouchy sound hurted my bwain."

A rather large Firithian male ended up tripping over his extremely large feet and tumbled to the ground. The Firithian looked upon the screen in angry annoyance, as if his entire day had been ruined as he scraped the remains of a smashed Shilka burger from his hands.

Even old Boojum Twoeyes, the President of the Council for Interplanetary Consortiums, stopped his important meeting and looked down from his sheltered podium high in the sky, wondering what was happening.

A vendor, surprised by the sudden loud screech, spilled a scoopful of frozen apriguavo slushy onto the head of Ela Alana, an important, rather squat, Junipean ambassador.

Ela Alana squealed as the frozen concoction trickled down into her long dark hair, which happened to be concealing several electronic devices.

Ela's head sparked and hissed when the sticky juice ignited the Ultraboard 3000 stashed within her heavy dark hair. The apriguavo vendor panicked when he noticed Ela resembled a blown out birthday candle with smoke billowing from her head.

In in an attempt to douse the fire that was surely raging beneath the smoking locks, the vendor dumped an entire twenty gallon bucket of slush over Ela's head.

Instead of keeping the woman's bouffant from igniting, the slushy juice caused even more havoc. A huge haze of smoke spread high into the Klesian sky, and the smells of charred apriguavo mixed with singed hair and melting wires gagged every being within a hundred foot radius.

All over the streets, Klesians and space travelers from abroad stopped their activities and wondered why they were watching a half-human-looking-Klesian boy coming in and out of focus as he adjusted the camera. Many also wondered why that particular neighborhood smelled so offensively unpleasant.

Reddle F. Girth, the girl Izzian had interrupted on stage, was slowly coming to the realization that her self-important speech was no longer the center of attention. Reddle had been standing at the podium on stage, regaling the audience with her latest journal entries when she finally noticed her vital words were no longer amplified.

Her voice floated over the silent crowd, but no one was listening. It was at that moment she looked behind her and saw the image of Izzian Klowosky plastered upon the big-vid, tapping the microphone, adjusting the lens.

Disgust covered her fresh Grotanoan-like features. Her newly hatched wings twitched in discomfort. It was apparent that Reddle had been trumped by the menial, contemptible, Izzian Klowosky.

"Uh...hello?" Izzian adjusted the camera one last time.

If Izzian had been able to see the anger coursing through Reddle's body at that moment, he might have been scared. Luckily for him, he couldn't see the girl as she cursed Izzian and swore to get even, no matter the cost. She would crush him. No one interrupted Reddle F. Girth and lived to tell about it, least of all the most annoying boy in the universe, Izzian Klowosky.

"Listen to me, Klesians and other...beings," Izzian cleared his throat, "I have an important announcement!"

Izzian could hear the doctor and Mr. Seebot banging on the door to the communications lab, but he ignored their threats and bangs and cleared his throat again.

"My name is Izzian Klowosky. Some of you may already know me."

Outside the door, the banging and yelling had stopped and Izzian assumed the two lab rats were finally smart enough to fetch the door key.

"I don't have much time but I have an important announcement! My Goodwill Project subject, Eliza Allready from earth, is speaking to me! She knows I am watching her and she is talking to me with sign language through the mighty Al203 Telescope! You need to know!

"What if she tells everyone on earth and they come looking for us? What if they know about our telescope and our incessant spying? What is the CIC not telling us? Why do our elected officials and smug scientists lie to us? We need answers!"

Izzian did not have enough time to sufficiently rile up the crowd, but at least he'd gotten part of his message across. He'd intended to gather more crowd support and make Dr. Yangsley and Mr. Seebot answer for their nonchalance regarding the Al203 Telescope.

Unfortunately, the door burst open and Mr. Seebot ran for Izzian with Dr. Yangsley following close behind.

"Uhh," Izzian panicked, "just thought you should know...uhhm...not everyone on earth is ignorant of other life in the universe!" he shouted his last words into the camera and made a run for it.

At that point, it would be an understatement to say that chaos ensued. Chaos did, in fact, ensue. Izzian ran in wild circles around the communications lab. He ran for the door, slipping out of Mr. Seebot's reach, only to be grabbed by Dr. Yangsley.

Dr. Yangsley, however, was quite weak, having spent most of his time in the lab rather than the gym, and Izzian easily jerked from the doctor's grasp.

"Stop, you little heathen," screamed Dr. Yangsley.

Mr. Seebot shrieked, "Come here you bleepdot," obviously a swear word in any language.

Izzian was frantically out maneuvering his pursuers by running around tables in the lab. He knew he would eventually get caught, but not without hurling a few more insults and throwing a few taunts.

"You'll never catch me, you tin can!" Izzian yelled as he ran around the table in the opposite direction. "Come on, Yangsley, you old slug! A little out of shape, are we?"

Dr. Yangsley was huffing and puffing in obvious exertion, when Izzian made a run for the door. He knew he'd have to get outside in order to escape, so he vaulted over the nearest table and ran for his life.

He made his way closer to the door and saw green sunlight poking through into the dismal lab, and thought, _sweet freedom._

Izzian turned for the door, thinking, he might just make it, feeling that freedom was within his reach. Time seemed to slow. He took one last step toward escape and... ran directly into his father, Ojolian.

Dr. Yangsley limped his way over to father and son. He tiredly approached Ojolian, who was holding Izzian by the fabric of his shirt.

The doctor panted, "You little bleepdot! Ojolian, I hope you punish this boy of yours for a long time," he took a few more breaths, and added, "...and as far as the law allows."

Dr. Yangsley's face was red, which was difficult since his skin was actually green. His flabby cheeks wobbled as he spoke to Izzian's father. "Izzian Klowosky, you are hereby banned from my Al203 Telescope and my laboratory for a lifetime!" Dr. Yangsley yelled, waving his fist in the air.

Mr. Seebot sneered. It was easy to tell that the half-robot man enjoyed watching Izzian get his comeuppance.

Izzian knew Yangsley was angry, but he couldn't ban the wayward boy from the lab or the Al203 for life, no one could. Neither one even belonged to Dr. Yangsley.

Izzian looked to his dad to say exactly that, but Ojolian just shook his head and said, "I apologize, sirs. My son is a disgrace this day. Do not worry, Dr. Yangsley, I will see that the boy is sufficiently punished. Mr. Seebot, I appreciate your help. Izzian will have no need to bother you again. His lab days are over and my son will soon be on earth, far away from the Al203 and your lab."

"But dad," Izzian stammered, "don't you even believe me?"

"Enough," said Ojolian. He grabbed Izzian by the hand and led him out, into the unreceptive streets of Klesia Moon Prime, without another word.

***

~~WEAVINGS FROM THE YARN~~

And that is how Izzian Klowosky ended up being grounded to his room. As far as Izzian knew, no one even checked the Al203 to see if Eliza actually was speaking to an alien boy from so far away.

Had Izzian forgotten about the massive crowds attending the annual Sendoff Ceremony that day? Did he know about the hundreds of aliens in the streets when he manually locked the door to the communications lab, swished on the airboard, and hijacked the enormous big-vid plascreen located in the middle of the bustling town square? Or did he intend to reach as many people as possible that afternoon?

Whether he meant to or not, Izzian's claims were heard by everyone. Sure, old Yarn could have stopped our boy from making a public spectacle. I could have cut the power to the communications lab, or perhaps I could have chucked a large brick through space and broken the town's precious big-vid, but that's not really my style.

I am glad I didn't stop our boy from making his crazy big-vid outburst. It was meant to be. I must admit, the entire event _was_ rather entertaining...

Watching Ela Alana, that Junipean Ambassador, running around in a haze of billowing smoke and apriguavo slushy might have been amusing to some. I'm certain Ela Alana didn't think it was funny.

Of course, it's not Izzian's fault that Junipeans use their hair like a suitcase, carrying everything from Ultraboards to ham sandwiches in those thick, long locks. I'll bet Ela Alana thinks twice before she confuses her head of hair for a briefcase again.

Still, Izzian had to pay for his actions. He had to answer to his father.

***

CHAPTER 7

*WALK OF SHAME*

It had been a rough day, and Izzian was both physically and mentally exhausted. First, he'd communicated with an earthling, which by itself was a very big deal. Then, he'd had to think quickly and act fast which resulted in a few high speed chases.

As Izzian's father, Ojolian, angrily led his son through the streets, never speaking, eyes full of shame, it was no surprise that Izzian had to fight back a few tears. Ojo never even stuck up for the boy. But what was worse in Izzian's eyes, Ojolian didn't even believe his own son. At least that's what Izzian thought.

Izzian suffered the "walk of shame," as his father dragged him through the streets, back to the Klowosky odobo. Groups of Klesians were standing and watching. The adults had "shame on you," written on their faces and his classmates had "ha you're an idiot," written on their faces.

The streets had never been so still that day, or that difficult to walk through, as the hordes of partygoers tsked and clicked their tongues, showing how disappointed they were in Izzian's big- vid outburst.

Ojolian ignored the insulting glares and rubber-necking stares as he pulled his son home through the crowds. In the blink of an eye, a familiar face stepped directly into Izzian's path and blocked his way.

The young troublemaker was forced to a stop when Reddle F. Girth appeared out of nowhere. Izzian had interrupted Reddle's Sendoff Ceremony speech when he hijacked the big-vid and Reddle would never let him forget it.

Reddle was proud that the elders had thought so highly of her and sent her to Grotanoa for her Goodwill Project. She never ceased to rub it in everyone's faces, either. So when Izzian had dared to interrupt _her_ important speech, Reddle vowed to get revenge.

Her new Grotanoan wings snapped open with a flourish and undulated with purple, pink and black, morphing into disturbing shapes as she spoke.

"You stupid boy, I'll get you," she said in a tone that only Izzian could hear.

Then with a self-righteous sneer, Reddle rolled her eyes and said loudly, "Goodwill Subjects never know we are watching them. I was totally angry with you for interrupting my speech, but I'm going to be the bigger person. I just feel so sorry for you," Reddle shook her head in mock pity.

Izzian was thankful when his father pulled him away from Reddle, but he also knew the angry girl would never forget having been interrupted and overshadowed.

Being publicly pitied by Reddle was bad enough, but when Izzian looked up and saw Thil standing by a curb, seemingly ignoring him, he was crushed. He assumed she, of all Klesians, would understand. Thil had been there. She knew he was onto something big in the lab, and had helped him find Eliza. But she just stood there, practically snubbing him, saying nothing in his defense.

Izzian couldn't blame the girl, really. He was the planet's biggest outcast at that moment. If he had looked at Thil for another millisecond, he might have seen the twinkle in her eye as she winked at him, or perhaps the girl was simply accessing her plascreen.

But Izzian didn't care so much about those Klesians judging him and not believing his story. He really only cared about his father and Ojolian had made it perfectly clear that Izzian was wrong. He barely had a chance to explain the reason he'd acted so disrespectful and felt as though his father wore blinders, hiding his eyes from the truth.

When father and son arrived at home sweet odobo that evening, an argument ensued that vibrated the very ground and shook the rafters. Ojolian had eventually given up the argument and sent Izzian to his room advising his son to consider his bad behavior.

As fate would have it, the Al203 Telescope had been decommissioned immediately after Izzian's final session. No one was able to prove his theories about Eliza communicating with him. The lab coats didn't even make a public announcement; they simply hung a sign that read: _The Al203 is currently being cleaned. Please come back. :)_

The scientists, understanding very little of the actual technology behind the Al203's, remained strangely quiet about the day's misadventures involving Izzian Klowosky. He waited for the blame to be hurled his way, but to this surprise, it never came. Of course, Izzian was still grounded to his room.

Being "grounded" wasn't so bad for Izzian. Of course on Klesia, just as on earth, homework was never something one was grounded from doing. So, Izzian continued to study the characteristics of earth for his Goodwill Project and studying earth was a hobby the young Klesian happened to enjoy.

The only thing he was really missing out on, being grounded to his room was the Sendoff Ceremony. Izzian had attended the Ceremony every year of his life, always watching the older kids receive special attention and perform speeches. It was bad luck that the only year he'd miss the festivities happened to be the year it was held in his honor.

Izzian thought about the Ceremony and what he may be missing being a prisoner in his own room. The Sendoff Ceremony was well-known throughout the universes. The festivities were complete with out-of-this-world roller coasters, Klesian epicurean specialties, competitive simulation games and other social events. The roller coasters were literally "out-of-this-world", since they normally involved rocket fuel and space suits.

He had ridden them all before, though, and played in the simulation games countless times. He'd already tried any alien gourmet food delicacies worth trying, such as fried Plevert on a stick. If he thought about it, he was kind of glad that he wouldn't be at the party this year. He wasn't missing much.

The Sendoff Ceremonies also ended up turning weird in Izzian's opinion, since most of the students were in the middle of their transformations. From time to time during the Ceremonies, he'd recognize someone from school in the middle of transformation and it always made him a little uneasy. Some kids might have developed an extra set of arms, or proudly displayed the bud of a Chulupean tail waiting to fully sprout.

Shape shifting all depended on the location of a student's Goodwill Project. Since Izzy would be travelling to earth, his classmates would only chastise and poke fun at him for his trite human appearance

Izzian imagined the few choice words Reddle F. Girth might have for him if he dared to show his face. He wasn't exactly scared of Reddle; he simply hated the sound of her condescending voice.

Over the years, Reddle made it a hobby to pelt Izzian with insults and criticisms. Izzian could only imagine her glee if he showed up to the Sendoff Ceremony, ripe for the plucking. Not only would she comment snidely on his human appearance, but Reddle would most definitely lecture him for his recent big-vid proclamation; the very proclamation that had gotten him grounded in the first place.

Reddle would most assuredly rub her sprouting Grotanoan wings in Izzian's almost human face. Of all the kids and all the planets, Izzian was terribly dismayed that the elders would choose Reddle F. Girth to go to Grotanoa for her Goodwill Project. It simply infuriated him.

He didn't understand how Thilillian Yangsley could ever hang out with Reddle, either. It seemed to Izzian that he understood girls as much as he understood the propulsion system of a travelling asteroid; and that was very little.

So, the less time he spent among the crowds at the Sendoff Ceremonies, the better. As an act of contrition, Izzian decided to take his father's advice and think about everything he'd done to get himself into trouble. He'd made so many mistakes; it might take him the rest of the day to remember them all.

Lucky for him, he had all the time in the world.

***

CHAPTER 8

*MAKE A BREAK FOR IT*

Finally, the day had arrived. Izzian had turned almost completely human in size and shape and throughout the journey to earth; he would continue to change even more. He and his ortnots, Ojolian and Mirtheea, had gotten over past squabbles in favor of enjoying their last few moments of togetherness as a family.

Ojo pulled the family's old, reliable AutoPod V.07 out of the garage. As Izzian watched his odobo fade away in the background, he suddenly realized it would be a year before he was home again.

His Goodwill Project had finally begun. It was sad and exciting all together. He looked forward to arriving at Comet Central Station, boarding his ship and leaving behind all the anxiety of the past few months. He had plenty of new anxieties about the months ahead, but those were put on hold for the time being.

As the Klowosky's AutoPod sputtered around the corner, Izzian relaxed into the comfortably worn seat. He mused at how over the years the vehicle's seat had formed perfectly to his rump. It was a little off, since his human rump seemed more bubbly, but it still seemed made for him and him alone.

Things had been especially frenzied and Izzian would be happy to sleep his way to earth. Relaxing his head against the seat, the young man closed his eyes and replayed scenes from the past few weeks.

What kind of individuals were Enot and Gala, the Klesians he would be living with on earth? Would they play the role of pretend parents, or would they more or less leave Izzian alone? He hoped for the latter. Regardless, they would both drop their own last names and share the Klowosky name for their stay on earth.

He'd already met his pretend parents with whom he would live for his year as an earthling teenager. Goodwill Projects always included sponsors. The sponsors were normally younger college type adult Klesians in the scientific community who also had their own little homework assignments to complete, or some research project to finish to impress a boss.

Klesians had a history of placing a tremendous amount of importance on galactic education. In order to advance in one's career or graduate from university, research trips were required. The easiest and most efficient way to gain permission to travel was to hitch a ride on a Goodwill Project.

In fact, the two shared a symbiotic relationship. Izzian would complete his homework assignment to pass to equidistant school and his pretend parents would complete their research projects in order to graduate Klesia University or get promoted at work.

Izzian had heard that Thil's pretend parents for her Goodwill Project were extraordinary. One was a fashion student and the other was a rather famous artist; both seeking intergalactic inspirations. He wondered why everything related to Thil seemed so interesting and uncommon.

For a moment, he considered that Thil's dad, Dr. Yangsley, could get his daughter anything she wanted. Although with Thil, it made more sense that she'd somehow hacked the system and done it on her own.

Izzian's own travelling companions, Gala and Enot, were scientific and boring in his opinion. Gala Oogabal's chosen field of study was called _Equaiiquintessence_ , a field Izzian had never even heard of.

Apparently it meant the study of animalistic behaviors of the human psyche versus distinctions of non-animalistic behaviors of other interstellar beings. _Whatever, he'd thought._

When Gala had explained Equaiiquintessence to Izzian, his eyes had fluttered shut and he continually fought an encroaching case of narcolepsy. In other words, it bored him to sleep. He even zoned out Gala's animated explanations of the Sudden Bluff Home for Mental Health, the earth hospital where she'd be conducting research.

Enot Lewga, Izzian's pretend father for the trip, was some sort of communications expert working for his graduate degree at Klesia University. Izzian didn't really understand Enot's job either, but he did sense that the man was not too happy about being chosen to go to earth.

Great, Izzian had thought, another earth-basher. And I get to live with him on earth for a whole year.

It was clear to Izzian from the start that he and Enot would probably not get along, but Gala seemed okay. As long as she didn't talk about her field of study, and the mental patients, he was sure they'd be great pals.

The Klowosky's AutoPod rose and hovered as Ojolian waited for the perfect moment to merge into the busy traffic on the TransWest Expressway. One more small stretch of road and Izzian would be delivered to Comet Central- next stop earth.

The young boy grew momentarily ill as Ojolian swerved the vehicle into a nice empty pocket of air, a little heavy footed on the air-brake in Izzian's opinion.

"I hope I can find a free parking space," Ojolian mumbled.

His father was morbidly gleeful when he found free parking. It wasn't as if the Klowosky's were poor, but Ojolian hadn't been promoted as high or as often as his own peers. He remained in the same dingy, cramped lab as always.

Mirtheea mostly worked for free, caring for abandoned animals. Mirtheea was a Klesian Veterinarian specializing in any cause that struck her fancy.

Izzian understood why his mother didn't make much money. Mirtheea would often discuss her latest plight to save an abandoned pod of Slimerot Slinkers as if it were the most important task in the universe. To Mirtheea, it was.

His mom's animal shelters barely profited enough to feed the animals and she constantly petitioned the more affluent Klesians for donations. Mirtheea had the ability to squeeze more money out of a stingy citizen than a criminal with a gun.

But Ojolian was another confusing story all together. Izzian knew his father was a brilliant scientist and was expected to rise higher than even Dr. Yangsley. When he was college age, Ojolian had been invited to spend his Goodwill sponsorship time on both Firithia and Grotanoa as a pretend parent.

To a young lab technician, being _invited_ to sponsor a Goodwill student on either planet was the highest honor available, and no one had received such an invitation since.

When Izzian was younger, he'd ask his father why he didn't run the lab or take part in important research excursions.

His father would mumble some excuse like, "Well, I don't want to be away from my family so much." Or he'd say, "I'm happy where I am. Yangsley's head scientist now so no use in even discussing it."

Izzian finally stopped asking, but he remembered with fondness the rare occasion when his dad would talk about the humongous Firithians of Firithia and the families he got to know there.

Ojolian reminisced about his rather painful transformation into such a tall creature. Once, he even built a pair of stilts for Izzian to show him the Firithian outlook on life. They laughed and wrestled as Izzian tried to walk on the tall faux Firithian legs. He fell into Ojolian's arms time and again. Eventually, Ojolian stopped discussing Firithia all together and his trip seemed as if it had never even happened.

Thinking of the past and the closeness he and his father once shared was causing the boy to become sad. He decided to stop the rueful reminiscing and peered hopefully into the Klesian skies.

President Boojum Twoeyes stood in a patriotic pose on a flashing electro-billboard, with the slogan _Strive to Become a CCU_ glowing down over the city. Izzian noticed some hacker's graffiti appeared across Boojum's face, a big red X. The original slogan had faded away and the words changed to read: _Destroy the Al203! Al203 equals Death!_

"That is so wrong! Who would dare cross out poor Boojum's face? It's terribly unpatriotic," said Izzian's mom from the front seat.

Ojolian grunted in a noncommittal way. He supported the CIC and President Boojum Twoeyes, but held a small grudge against the man.

Mirtheea and Boojum had been pals since their first year of school and rumor had it that she was to marry old Twoeyes, but chose Ojolian instead.

When Mirtheea praised Boojum, Ojolian usually grudgingly agreed, but said few words on the subject of his wife's old flame. It all seemed to gross Izzian out to the point of vomiting.

Finally, the AutoPod came upon the exit for Comet Central Station. His father swerved into a free parking space, beating some other poor schmuck to the spot. Ojolian chuckled with a maniacal glee. So easily entertained, Izzian mused, as his father basked in the glory of free parking.

***

CHAPTER 9

*COMET CENTRAL STATION*

The crowds at Comet Central Station bustled every which way, jostling into one another, intent on finding their own destination. Parents crooned over children and children pulled away from parents, embarrassed but also nervous about leaving home.

"Gleestix, is everybody leaving today? It's so crowded," Izzian complained.

He pulled a hood over his head and slinked through the masses, hoping to avoid his classmates and the whispers and jeers that would surely arise at his expense.

A group of Klesians waved signs high over the crowd denouncing the Al203 Telescope, calling it a deadly hazard. The demonstrators were screaming their slogans and blocking the walk ways. Izzian thought the entire premises of the protest was ludicrous.

They should be protesting the government for answers, he thought; answers as to how an earth girl could realize she was being watched by a Klesian kid, galaxies away from her own planet. _Fools, he thought._

"There will always be those against change and advanced technology," Ojolian said as he pushed his way through the angry group. "But maybe they have a right to be concerned the way old Yangsley's running that lab, something bad will happen...count on it," he admitted, muttering to himself.

Izzian smiled, having overheard the slight against Dr. Yangsley.

He noticed his mom glaring out into the crowd. Mirtheea wore a sour look upon her face; a look that could scare a Whoosper Tree into submission. Izzian's parental pride nearly overflowed when he noted that his mom's evil glare was directed at Reddle F. Girth and her mother, Wava.

Several yards away, Wava Girth spotted the Klowosky family. She savagely dragged her daughter through the crowd, running down a grandmother and knocking an iced apriguavo cone out of the hands of a small Chulupean child. The child wailed, but Wava was oblivious to the trail of destruction that followed her.

With a fake smile plastered upon her face, Wava approached. Her daughter, Reddle, sneered. Izzian's mom had also donned her faux smile as Wava reached for her hand.

"Dear Mirtheea, isn't this crowd frightful?" Wava Girth's voice sounded like poured honey as she dutifully greeted Mirtheea. Below the sweetness, Izzian sensed a hive of angry bees.

"Wava, how are you? Yes, protesting President Boojum Twoeyes in a crowded public building is troublesome and disrespectful to say the least," said Mirtheea, pulling her hand from Wava's grasp.

Wava sensed an opening and went in for the kill. "Weren't you engaged to old Boojum? Before you met dear Ojolian of course," Wava asked with assumed innocence.

Wava patted Ojolian's shoulder as if he were a poor, begging Slimerot Slinker, accepting the remains of an old bone from the pack leader as she spoke.

Mirtheea remained smiling but Izzian could tell that underneath her calm exterior raged an untamed beast.

His mother retorted, "So long ago, Wava. How could you possibly remember such things? Besides, I do believe you were several years ahead of me in school. You are much older than me, right?"

Izzy's mom had purposefully poked the woman in exchange for her rude comments. For a brief second, Izzian noticed Wava's superficial façade collapse, but her recovery was flawless.

His eyes moved back and forth, following the exchanges between the two women and Izzy felt as though they were sparring in a Spiked Ball Tournament. The pointy ball went round and round, but eventually, it landed on someone's foot, painfully. He was proud of Mirtheea for holding her own against the mother of his archenemy, and he whispered, "Strike, and the point goes to Mirtheea."

"Well, Reddle is off to Grotanoa!" Wava exclaimed, rapidly changing the subject of her age. "Aren't her wings just beautiful? I told Reddle that Izzian meant no harm the other day at the Sendoff Ceremony and he simply cannot help himself with those unrestrained outbursts. But my dear Reddle is such a trouper and realized Izzian was just raised differently."

The false woman took a second to allow her psychoanalysis of Izzian to sink in.

"I'm sure he didn't mean to interrupt my daughter's speech," Wava added with concern, her bees buzzing just below the surface.

"No, of course not. Reddle must be used to getting _all_ the attention," Mirtheea said slyly.

Reddle's father, Franckle Girth made his way through the crowds. He reached for his wife and daughter.

"Wow, this crowd's a doozey. Ojo, Mirtheea, how are you both? Izzian, I hope you have an amazing time on earth. I went there myself for my Goodwill Project."

Izzian had always like Franckle Girth and wondered how the gods had allowed the man to be stuck with such a snotty daughter and fake wife. Apparently, the man hadn't even sensed the tension of the group and went about his business as if they were all great friends.

Reddle sneered at Izzian, but kept her mouth shut for once since her father had arrived.

Franckle gathered his wife in one arm and Reddle in the other, and said, "Come Reddle, as the old saying goes, a comet waits for no Klesian."

"Listen Izzian, when you get back to Klesia, come by the office. I might have the perfect internship for you next year and we can compare earth stories," Franckle said with his trademark wink.

Izzian smiled but Reddle glared daggers at her father's offer of an internship. Franckle Girth owned several profitable companies and Izzian would love to work at almost every single one of them, especially Freighter Fabrications.

Freighter Fabrications was a company that specialized in hollowing out and terraforming transportation asteroids. It had been Franckle's company that created Footfall Freighter, Izzian's favorite 'stroid in existence.

Franckle leaned in close to Izzian and said, "Just so you'll know, earth girls are fantastic. Have fun, son. You're only young once." He winked at Izzian.

Franckle nodded farewell to Mirtheea and Ojolian as well. The Girth family headed for the ramp that would deliver Reddle F. Girth to Grotanoa and out of Izzian's life for a year. He was thankful for that.

"How dare that woman throw my friendship with Boojum in your face, Ojo? He's a great man and a good friend. Wava was always jealous of our relationship, but it's you I wanted to marry, not Boojum," Mirtheea said as she stalked towards Izzian's comet in a huff.

Ojolian flinched as his wife's well-meaning words angered him even more, and his dislike of Boojum Twoeyes swelled.

He couldn't resist saying, "Boojum is not an angel, Mirtheea. He's just an elected official."

Mirtheea ignored her husband but Izzian noticed the sly smile appear on his mom's face. Izzian suspected his mother enjoyed making Ojolian jealous. Suddenly, he felt squeamishly nauseous and uncomfortable in the big crowd.

"Izzian, are you okay?" Mirtheea asked her son.

"Getting nervous?" Ojolian asked.

He ignored his parents. Izzian just hoped the hordes of people and groups of demonstrators wouldn't delay his trip to earth. He felt mildly guilty about not being more socially conscience, but he was more interested in earth politics at the moment.

The Klowosky trio arrived at platform 1213 where his transport comet was positioned. Although he could only see the tiniest section of the comet, Izzian knew that beyond the boarding platform, beyond the station, its hugeness loomed.

Gala, his pretend mother for the next year, appeared within the crowd looking disheveled, lugging a large backpack. Her new earth hair was frizzy and orangey-red. To Izzian it looked as if it might burst into fire at any second.

"Hello Izzian. Hello Mr. and Mrs. Klowosky," greeted Gala as she animatedly shook their hands, curls bobbing along with each handshake.

Gala looked frazzled and concerned. "Did you see those protestors? I've never heard of anyone actually picketing the Al203 Telescope. What a waste of time," she said.

Izzian's ortnots nodded their heads in agreement.

Mirtheea said, "I know, President Twoeyes is doing a good job. They shouldn't mention his name. It's not like he invented those telescopes."

Gala agreed. "Yes, yes. I heard the Broshinka Brothers are planning to deliver two more telescopes by the end of the year. We'll be able to spy anywhere in the universes! But why would we need to? I'm beginning to think we are the nosiest bunch of aliens in existence."

Izzian was sick of hearing about the stupid Al203 Telescope, President Boojum Twoeyes and the likes of Wava and Reddle F. Girth. After all, it was his day.

"Oh Izzian, It's almost time," said Mirtheea.

It was a testament to her abilities as a mother to practically read her son's mind and sense his feelings. She dismissed all thoughts of Wava Girth's condescending comments and forgot any sentiments about the struggles of Klesian society in favor of hugging her son and telling him goodbye.

"Oh, there's Enot!" Gala exclaimed as she stood on the tips of her toes and peered over the heads of the crowd.

"See you on board, Izzy. Don't worry, Mr. and Mrs. Klowosky, I'll take really good care of your son. I promise." Gala shook Mirtheea's hand one more time and headed toward Enot who was buried deep within the crowd.

The small family of three stood together in a warm embrace until Izzian stepped away and prepared to board his ship, the comet known as Gratified Speed 1213. Mirtheea dabbed away her tears. She yanked Izzian's shirt tail straight, licked her finger, and then plastered his new earth hair against his scalp with her spit covered finger. Izzian pulled away in disgust.

"Oh, Izzy, if only your hair would have grown out just a bit more, I could've fixed it better," Mirtheea said, fretting over the boy.

"Mom, stop. My shirt is even and my human hair is fine," he said, wiping away the spittle on his scalp.

"It will grow out on the trip and I'm pretty sure they have scalp-cover cutting people on earth," Izzian complained and backed away from his mother.

He noticed how sad and upset she really was and hugged her again.

"Mom, I'll be fine. I promise," Izzian added.

His mom hugged him with a finality usually reserved for boys going away to war, only to return as wizened men.

"Be good, Izzian. I love you," said Mirtheea through a cloud of tears.

Ojolian stepped up to his son and seemed to be getting a bit misty-eyed himself and said, "We'll miss you, boy. We'll miss you."

It was more than Izzian could stand. He quickly stepped onto the boarding ramp of the comet, hoping to escape a fit of uncontrollable, jagged crying in front of everyone.

"Wait," a distant voice cried out, over the buzz of the crowd.

Thilillian Yangsley casually stepped onto the boarding ramp of the Gratified Speed 1213. She stood directly next to a sign with big red letters that read: APPROVED TRAVELERS ONLY ON RAMP.

Izzian was amused again at the girl's brazen nature, and thrilled that she had sought him out to say goodbye.

He was also curious to see how Thil had transformed for her Goodwill trip to the Footfall Freighter. There were various races of aliens on the asteroid she was travelling to, so he wondered what she'd end up looking like.

He carefully appraised the girl from head to toe, hoping she wouldn't mistake his curiosity for inappropriate ogles. She was truly beautiful, but not much different than normal.

Most of Thil's transformation was unrecognizable. Her hair, which she'd always grown long and dark as a flashy accessory in Klesian form, appeared slightly longer. The dark mass of hair had always contrasted sharply with her vivid, bright purple eyes.

The only difference Izzian noticed was that she seemed a bit shorter, which made sense since transport freighters sustained occasional gravity pulls and being tall might become painful. In a way, Thil had transformed to an even more beautiful being and Izzian thought she resembled an elf from an old earth fable, without the pointy ears. _Pointy ears would have been cool, he thought_.

"Hey Thil, your transformation looks awesome. Is that how most females on the Juniper Colony look?" Izzian said in a sort of trance. If so, he made a mental note to travel there one day soon.

Thil looked around furtively, then changed the subject, saying, "I just wanted to say bye, Izzian. Have a good trip and try not to get thrown out of any labs or make any scientists mad enough to chase you around a room," Thilillian said with humor.

Her purple irises contracted in the bright light gleaming from the comet's cabin.

Izzian was somewhat frustrated that Thil always seemed to dismiss his questions or answer them by changing the topic. He knew enough to keep his mouth shut, though. He was thankful to see the girl before they were both shipped off into the galaxy.

"My dad had to ice his back for a week after your shenanigans in his lab that day. He's still limping," she added, feigning resentment.

Izzian had never really heard Thil talk about Dr. Yangsley as her father before. He felt a little closer to the girl each time she opened up or surprised him with unusual familiarity.

"Yes, sorry about that, Thil. I hope you didn't get in trouble," said Izzian.

Thil shook her head in a way that said, "I don't _get_ caught."

"Excuse me, miss! This ramp is for approved passengers only. You will have to get off this ramp. I'm trying to load my Plascreen Inoculation Surveyor," said a distinctly whiney voice from behind a large piece of bulky machinery.

Thil rolled her eyes and squeezed by Enot and his Plascreen Inoculation Surveyor. Izzian wondered why Enot hadn't just said, _excuse me,_ in a polite way and left it at that.

Thil jaunted down the ramp and Izzian waved to the girl that continually made his new skin pores activate.

Wiping the sweat from his brow, he yelled, "See ya, Thil!"

"Later, earth boy!" Thil yelled above the clamor of the comet station.

Izzian saw his parents waving, being bumped about by others, occasionally disappearing amongst the mounting and subsiding waves of the crowd.

He noticed several kids he knew saying goodbye to family and friends. For once, he was proud to be standing up high above them, ready for earth.

Waving instinctively to his ortnots one last time, Izzian turned and headed for Gratified Speed 1213's cabin.

Izzian Klowosky was finally headed for earth.

***

CHAPTER 10

*GRATIFIED SPEED 1213*

A few short moments later, Izzian was seated in the captain's chair of Gratified Speed 1213. He felt like a champion. Then Enot entered the comet, huffing from the exertion of carrying and stowing his own luggage, and signaled for Izzian to change seats.

Enot plopped down in the captain's chair and said with a winded breath, "Gee. Thanks for helping me out there on the ramp. I mean, my P.I.S. machine wasn't heavy or anything."

Izzian was too upset to pay much attention to Enot at that moment. Everything he'd ever known, everyone he'd ever loved would be left behind on Klesia Moon Prime.

He realized he was no different from all his other classmates-they all had leave for a year, but that didn't change the fact that Izzian felt terribly alone and anxious.

Soon Gala had boarded the ship with a scowl covering her face. The woman kept trying to smooth down her unruly curls, yet each time she tried to flatten the springy ringlets, they would pop right back up, ignoring their master's commands.

Gala realized the humor of a head full of curls that had a mind of their own and she dramatically pretended to yank her hair from its roots.

She looked at Izzian and giggled as each time she smoothed down a curl, it popped up like a jack-in-the-box.

She shook her head in disbelief and snorted, "I feel like my hair is alive and is trying to kill me."

Izzian snickered at first as he watched the woman act like she was wrestling a demon, rather than a curl. Soon he and Gala fell into fits of uncontrollable laughter. It was pleasing to see someone else struggling with their new human form and it felt good to laugh at that moment.

To keep it going, Izzian said, "You think that's funny, my fourth human finger has only sprouted half way."

He held up his palm and bent his new pointer finger in half, making it appear to be missing a section. Gala feigned disgust.

"Yes...I think that finger is supposed to have another knuckle or something," she said.

At which point, the two doubled over in full-fledged, nerve-induced laughter. It seemed that both he and Gala needed a moment without any thoughts of leaving home, or worries about the unknown future.

Gala recovered enough to add, "Maybe your stubby finger and my insubordinate curls are working together; a plot to make us fail our assignments," she said seriously.

"Maybe," Izzian said through newly formed tears of laughter, "we should make protest signs and blame it all on President Boojum Twoeyes."

"Actually, we _should_ blame everything on the Al203 Telescope. That telescope seems to be the cause of every bad thing in the universe," Gala said, giggling.

"Are you two done? Or should we work on a comedy routine instead of focusing on launching the comet," Enot interrupted with the whiney voice Izzian had begun to dread hearing.

"Gala, control yourself. You're an elder on this ship and you should act like one, not like some dizzy teenager cracking jokes. We need to pay attention here," Enot reiterated to the snickering woman.

"Relax," Gala said.

She shifted in her seat to examine the control panel. "Everything is already computed to the umpteenth degree. We don't even steer. There's no way we could screw up. What do you think is going to happen, man?"

Enot began rattling off procedure after procedure, "Well, for starters we need to go over the preflight routine, and there's the last minute inventory check, and-"

"Hold your horses, as they say on earth," Gala winked at Izzian and continued, "It's all done. You insisted we meet here every day this past week and go over everything imaginable. I'm sure we'll be fine, Enot."

Then, perhaps feeling bad about chastising Enot and trying to prevent him from feeling like a third wheel, Gala added, "You've done a great job, Enot, really. Everything is ready to go."

Enot obviously appreciated Gala's confidence in his abilities, but Izzian wished she would have just let the man pout. Enot had corrected his copilot like a teacher chastising a first year student and Izzian would never have let the man speak to him that way.

Then again, he also realized they did have to be in close quarters for a long time and it was wise of Gala to pacify the whiner. Enot seemed the moody type and it was probably better for the whole group if they all got along during the trip. In other words, they had to treat Enot like a demanding, whining toddler.

_Here's a woman who knows what she's doing, thought Izzian._ With a few words, Gala had managed to diffuse Enot's indignation and calm the whole group.

Finally, the station signaled the crew of Gratified Speed 1213. The speakers erupted with a distant voice. "Gratified Speed 1213: You are approved for takeoff. All systems go."

Enot repeated, "We are approved for takeoff. All systems go."

Izzian rolled his eyes, having heard the announcement the first time.

"Well, buckle in everybody. Next stop earth!" Gala announced with enthusiasm.

"Yay, earth," Enot said with sarcasm, as he checked each passenger's seat latch again.

Izzian shifted uncomfortably when Enot refastened his buckle for the third time.

"If you keep buckling and unbuckling my seat latch, you might find yourself floating around the cabin in a minute. I'm fine. I know how to latch a seat," Izzian said, although Enot ignored him and refastened the latch one more time, sighing like an exasperated, overprotective mother.

I already have one of those, thought Izzian. Well, I guess I have Gala now too, although she doesn't seem very over protective.

"Two outta three ain't bad," Izzian mumbled to himself as the comet started to shake free of its gravity restraints.

Izzian wasn't going to let the small man ruin the experience for him. Thanks to Gala and a little time, he'd forgotten for the moment about being sad and lonely.

Of course he would miss his ortnots, and Thil and even Mrs. Kleevox. But at that moment, he was happy to peer out the shielded window and watch as Gratified Speed 1213 rose above Klesia Moon Prime.

The floor beneath the cabin rattled and shook. There was a loud crack as the ship broke free of its restraints. As the comet was programmed to do, it hovered in the air for precisely ten point three seconds in case the pilot changed his or her mind.

Izzian thought he noticed a green light flash to red for a split second, but with the blink of an eye, it had returned to green. He thought it not worth mentioning.

Since Enot and Gala had no second thoughts, and the system's check light was bright green, the comet known as Gratified Speed 1213 shot into the sky like a fast burning...well, comet.

Due to the tremendous amount of ruckus caused by the comet's lift-off gyrations, the three travelers failed to notice the explosion. If they had, they would have seen the bright flash and heard the loud bang and seen crowds near Platform 1213 scream and run in terror as Comet Central Station filled with smoke.

Lucky for them, the group had already safely ascended the station. Izzian, Gala and Enot excitedly started their mission to earth, unaware of the situation below, while all of Klesia panicked and fled for their lives.

With only their thoughts and each other for company, the trio settled into their plush chairs. Gratified Speed 1213 soared through the atmosphere; next stop, earth.

***

~~AND NOW, A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR~~

Later, I would hear of that explosion and wonder: Was it a mechanical glitch or did somebody purposely try to blow up Comet Central Station?

How can anybody be so cruel, so thoughtless, to believe they have the right to hurt innocent beings? Perhaps the explosion was just a malfunction and doesn't have anything to do with nasty aliens and dirty politics.

It's just little old me, Yarn. In my presence, speculation and discussion are quite welcome.

I would have more information to share, but Leon is currently ignoring me at the moment for not fueling up on the sandy shores of Planet Starfish. Starfish boasts a gourmet fuel store called _Fancy Fuels_ , and Leon begged me to take him there.

I refused to pay those high prices. Besides, Planet Starfish is covered in sand. The homes are made of sand, the buildings are made of sand; the planet is like one giant sand castle. I imagine sand would probably end up in the hoity-toity fuel.

Leon needs to stop acting so childishly. Occasionally, I wonder if I should have purchased a completely mechanical ship, thereby eliminating the problems associated with Leon's organic side, which tend to behave stubbornly.

Taking advantage of my "down time," I have been perusing through some interesting texts about Klesia. The planet does have some strange inhabitants and odd customs. I found something important to share.

In case anyone ever asks you, the Klesian Poo is a slimy bug that slithers around Klesia. It is small and extremely damaging when it eats through crops.

Eventually it dies and adds a tremendously helpful amount of nutrients to the soil. So, Poo is, in fact, beneficial in the end...haha. I mentioned we could speak about any topic on Leon, didn't I?

On a gloomier note regarding our planet of discussion, it was a sad day for Klesia and the entire galaxy. If the blast was intentional, it seems that every civilization has its own share of morons and Izzian's planet is no different.

If Enot, Gala and Izzian had seen the explosion, I wonder what they'd have done. Their comet, Gratified Speed 1213, couldn't be reprogrammed easily, if at all. So they could not have turned around. The pilots have precisely ten point three seconds to abort the take-off, but they have little control beyond that.

For practical reasons, Comet Central controls the destination of travelers and Izzian's comet was scheduled with a very specific route. If just anyone could pilot the ships, I have a feeling more Goodwill students would end up on their beloved Grotanoa than their designated destinations.

On a much lighter note, it is exciting to know that aliens in Izzian's neck of the universe can travel through space on a comet! Imagine that!

I'm no expert on the subject of archaic space travel, but travelling to earth via fiery comet is wondrously fantastic and clever, if not a tad bit technologically substandard.

Comet travel; believe it or not, but at least keep an open mind. After all, that is where the best ideas are born.

If you and I were speaking right now, instead of me writing and you reading, I would whisper a secret in your ear. So listen.

Meteorites are pieces of Klesian spaceships. Isn't that bizarre? I'll give you time to mull that over and come up with a plausible scientific understanding.

Ever wondered why you may see or hear about a meteor flashing through the sky, but people rarely find gigantic bits and pieces of a meteorite? Sure, sometimes it's because they have already been found, but in most cases it's because the landing was nice and smooth, and the ship cleanly disintegrated.

When Gratified Speed 1213 passed close to earth's sun, the comet picked up some solar fuel and headed on its way.

Smaller and smaller the ship became as it burned off ice, dust and other particles from the tail of the ship, until finally they approached earth at a terrifying speed.

Then, they flash-bang-whizzed through earth's atmosphere on fire! Isn't that terrific and terrifying all at the same time? Finally, the group and the tiny remainder of the ship landed on earth as a meteorite; or a meteor-wrong. I guess it all depends on whether you like aliens or not.

The part that may seem strangest to an earthling occurs when the ship eventually disappears completely. As soon as the group unloaded and disembarked from the Gratified Speed 1213, Enot picked up a small green reflective box, sort of like a remote control.

With the push of a button-wham, the ship was gone. All the information and programming for returning to Klesia Moon Prime was stored in the tiny green remote control.

The remote also acts as a beacon, relaying all destination coordinates when the group is ready to leave earth and head back to Klesia Moon Prime. The beacon allows the travelers to send messages to Klesia and from Klesia messages can travel anywhere else in space.

Needless to say, if anything happened to that reflective green remote, our Klesians might end up stranded on earth for a while.

One push of that small remote and Gratified Speed 1213 shrinks to invisibility. Amazing, right?

Even if Izzy and his friends were to stay on earth forever, and never use the Gratified Speed 1213 again, the ship would remain hidden, eventually evolving into its surroundings.

Ever seen a seriously odd shaped rock or a malformed tree and wondered how it got that way? Perhaps it is an alien ship, hiding away until it is needed again.

Klesians have found that shrinking technology is more convenient than large, cumbersome rockets. They also avoid saucer-like transportation for obvious reasons. Detection upon arrival is not desired, detection is shunned.

Whether or not you've ever known anyone that has travelled in a comet-turned-meteorite doesn't mean that it isn't possible, by the way. I told you to keep an open mind.

Well, Izzian Klowosky finally made it to earth. I'll let you see for yourself what happened when Izzian, Gala and that whiner, Enot, landed on the little blue ball.

Oh, and I sure hope Izzian's ortnots are okay, and Thilillian Yangsley, since she was at Comet Central when the explosion happened too.

***

### *PART TWO*

CHAPTER 11

*TOUCHDOWN!*

Izzian stepped from the cabin and the diminutive remains of Gratified Speed 1213. His eyes had grown accustomed to the dark interior of the ship. They fought with the bright sunshine on earth. His senses were on overload as he took in the marvelous surroundings of another planet.

Izzian had travelled through space before, even by comet, but never before had he walked upon earth. Earth had been a place Izzian could only imagine through his studies and research. Actually being on the planet made the boy giddy with anticipation.

He noticed that Gala and Enot were not so impressed. Evidently, it was more important for the scientists to unload the ship and perform yet another inventory check before they explored their new home.

Weirdo's, thought Izzian.

His eyes adjusted as he scanned the environment. They had landed in a heavily forested area and through his research; he knew that on earth, trees and shrubs were not to be feared as on some other planets.

In a way, Izzian had hoped to encounter a few angry, querulous trees, but alas, the plants seemed docile in comparison to the foliage covered hills of say, Ithmonius Sixteen. Even the forested Huckchuck region on Klesia boasted its own unusual plant species.

Izzian carefully reached out and touched the nearest branch, having never touched an earthbound tree. When the earth branch did not snap shut on his fingers, he smiled.

A memory of a hiking trip with his ortnots sprang into mind. Izzian had only seen four or five summers at the time and was skipping gleefully ahead of his ortnots through the Huckchuck Region. He found himself in the middle of a grove of Whoosper Trees, alone.

The sunlight had diminished as the coils of the trees writhed together, sensing the young boy's presence. Izzian had been a precocious child so he continued to explore, even though his mother had warned him many times of the dangers of a Whoosper Tree.

The grove was unlike anything he had ever seen. Whoosper Trees had tendrils rather than branches and they danced prettily, begging him to come closer.

To the young Izzian, it looked as if the tree's arms floated up from the trunk, like tendrils of undulating smoke, swirling against the sky. It mesmerized the small boy and he soon found himself edging closer for a better look.

As a Klesian child, Izzian should have known better than to be mesmerized by a call from nature. Nature's calls could be deadly. But the tree was clever.

He walked up to it, in a trance, and lightly touched the nearest tendril. It playfully tickled him back. He giggled at the gentle nip of a pincher on the end of a branch, as the tree impishly sampled his smell and taste.

Then, the pincher that had seemed so tender only a second ago, sprang shut like a spring-loaded clamp, waiting for a trigger. Izzian's pinky finger had been the trigger that particular day, and he still had the scar to show for it.

It was strange to be standing on earth, rubbing the scar he'd gotten on Klesia from petting the renowned pincher of the Whoosper Tree. Navigating nature on earth would be a breeze, compared to the pitfalls of the Klesian countryside, he figured.

To prove he was not scared of an earth tree, Izzian roughly plucked a leaf from a branch. When the branch did nothing to retaliate, he laughed, crumpled up the leaf and threw it to the ground.

Izzian decided to keep the galactic comparisons to a minimum. After all, earth was fantastic in its own way.

He anxiously flinched when a colorful buttfly landed on his hand. Reconsidering the name of the insect, Izzian accessed his plascreen and determined that the flittering creature was actually called a _butterfly_ , not a _buttfly._

Butterflies _,_ like the trees and plants, either chose to not communicate with humans or more than likely kept their mouths shut. Butterflies didn't pinch or bite, either. He felt silly for startling so easily, yet again.

Izzian blanched and quickly looked around to see of Enot or Gala had seen him freak out over a butterfly. Thankfully, he was alone.

The two elders were busy with post-flight procedures. He knew how serious scientists were about procedure, and decided to continue his solo explorations. Izzian was in no way interested in any procedures, either post or pre _anything._

His wanderings led him out of the forest, to a steeply inclining hill. He reached the summit, panting loudly, squinting away the spots that had formed in his eyes.

He hoped he hadn't somehow damaged his newly formed eyeballs, but thankfully, the spots disappeared once he stopped climbing.

The glorious earth lay before him like a picture from his plascreen. The beauty of the landscape took his breath away, and for a second, he feared he had broken his human lungs too.

Soon, his breath returned and he marveled in the splendor of the colorful scene. His plascreen suddenly flashed, "Welcome to earth," even though he hadn't even winked.

Izzian couldn't believe the vastness of the open countryside. The ground was rather green, which reminded him happily of home.

Way in the distant horizon, he saw the beginnings of a little civilization and wondered if that was Sudden Bluff, the town he would live in for a year.

Along the slope of the hill, he noticed black and white spotted creatures, contentedly munching on the fresh grass. Still embarrassed about the butterfly incident, Izzian slowly approached the odd creatures without saying a word.

He slowly got close enough to one of the animals to see its face. The animal ceased its chewing and looked Izzian in the eye, letting out a startling "Moooo."

Suddenly, as if they were attending some odd sounding choir practice, the entire group of beasts began mooing together. Izzian covered his ears in fright against the angry chorus of moos.

The animals slowly approached Izzian, loosely surrounding him. All he could hear was, "Moo, Maaa, Merrr," and other such sounds.

He was positive if he peered under the animal's slobbery lips, he would see four inch fangs.

Izzian fell to the ground, startled by the choir of cows. The nearest animal licked his head, leaving behind a trail of slobber. He was happy to note that the creature had no fangs beneath its bulbous lips, and was reminded of his mother, slapping spit on his hair to plaster it in place.

At that moment, his intrusive plascreen popped on and displayed a definition: Cowlick.

"Very funny," Izzian said flatly.

He picked himself up off the ground, confused by the presumptuousness of his plascreen. He wondered why his plascreen had gone rogue and when it had developed a sense of humor.

He felt silly for being so easily startled...again.

Then again, it was normal for the boy to be a little wary. His entire life he'd been told to avoid angrier creatures. Back home, before Izzian left the house, his mother might say, "Watch out for Gaga Beasts," or "Don't let the Pretty Maidens get close enough to bite."

There was also the pinching incident with the scary Whoosper Trees. So it was completely understandable that Izzian might be frightened of a cow. He just didn't want anyone to know.

He headed back towards the trees, ready to be around other similarly formed humans and noticed Enot and Gala, watching his every move. Enot was stooped over laughing, holding his stomach, wiping tears from his streaming eyes.

"Just great," said Izzian as he made his way back up the hill, trying to ignore the elder called Enot, who was quickly becoming his nemesis.

"Oh, hey, wait Izzian," Gala pleaded, stifling her own laughter.

Izzian decided that he'd much rather be on the giving end of a joke than the receiving end.

"Are you okay?" she asked as she followed his quick retreat back down the hill, into the tree line.

Enot was practically rolling down the hill since his uncontrollable laughter kept causing him to stumble. Izzian had never heard Enot laugh so much and was growing angrier with every chuckle that came from Enot's mouth.

"A c-c-cow," Enot said through his merriment. "You were being attacked by killer cows! I'm surrounded! Back, back, you violent creatures!" Enot said as he swished a pretend sword at an invisible target.

"Are you through?" Izzian asked through clenched teeth.

"Yes," said Enot. "No, wait. A cow? Oh man, you really didn't do your research, did you?" Enot was asking for trouble. "Did your plascreen stop working?"

Izzian turned to face the elder, his pretend father, and thought about knocking Enot's goofy grin from his goofy face, but Gala stepped in and diffused the situation.

"Okay, look. We've all made mistakes already. I mean Enot ran from a dragonfly a few minutes ago. That was pretty funny too," Gala said, giggling at the thought.

"A dragonfly," said Izzian, chuckling, "Did you try to talk to it or something? Bad scientist! Did your plascreen malfunction?"

Izzian was happy to be on the right side of a joke again, but being discovered running from a kissing cow was something he would never live down, not while Enot lived. He was feeling self-conscience on a whole new level.

"Actually, yes my plascreen did malfunction. It's the oddest thing, but so far, my plascreen doesn't seem to understand earth very well. When I accessed it earlier, I looked up the word _dragonfly_. My plascreen produced an actual video of a mythical dragon flying through the air. We should probably avoid using our 'screens for now. They are not working like they should...perhaps it has to do with the difference in gravitational forces on earth...." Enot, ever the scientist said, with his voice trailing away into thought.

"Enot you are so annoying," said Izzian under his breath. He'd hoped to spar with his elder for a little while longer, but Enot was lost in his own scientific assessments.

"Yes. We're all just tired from the trip. It's been a long day," Enot said.

For a change, Enot was trying to make peace, but Izzian wanted war, not peace. It was in his nature to pester his elders. He didn't want to give up so easily.

"Well Enot, at least you've finally made it earth, huh? I bet all your little junior scientist friends back home are really jealous of you. Oh wait, you don't have any friends back home," Izzian threw in one last jab, hoping to ruffle Enot's feathers a little.

Unfortunately for Izzian, he'd hit a sore spot with Enot, who had made it clear from the start he despised earth and would have much rather been on Grotanoa or even the Famien Constellation. Enot's feathers were more than a little ruffled, they were completely disheveled.

"You little bleepdot," said Enot as he made a reach for Izzian.

"You're neither the first nor the best to call me that," said Izzian as he scurried out of Enot's reach.

Enot quickly pursued the boy, each dodging trees, hurling insults back and forth like a ping pong ball.

"Guys!" Gala yelled. "You look like a couple of Beaky Buzzards, fighting for some female. Stop!"

Both Enot and Izzian stopped cold in their tracks. When the Beaky Buzzards of Klesia battled for a female, they flew through the trees like two kids playing chase, squawking querulously.

After the victor claimed the female as his own, the two males often fell into a kind of _bromance_ , oftentimes leaving the female Beaky Buzzard alone to squawk with all the other females in the nest.

"Whatever," said Izzian.

He slowed to a walk, kicking leaves, embarrassed by Gala's comparison. Izzian would never be best buds with Enot, he was sure of that.

Pretend mom Gala stepped in again. "Come on guys. This is strange for us all. We have got to stick together as a family, even if we aren't really related. Let's be nice, huh?"

It was surprising to Izzian how Gala already sounded like mom. He considered that maybe she did have a point. He decided he should try to get along with Enot, or simply avoid him if harmony wasn't possible. It was Izzian's _Goodwill_ Project after all, and perhaps he should strive for goodwill, or at least a ceasefire.

Enot and Izzian both nodded to each other, signaling a silent, grudging agreement. They were both universes away from home and could only rely upon each other, so a truce was called; at least for the time being.

***

CHAPTER 12

*BUTTSCRATCH ROAD OR BUST*

Izzian followed his new pretend parents as they made their way over to an old, rusty van that had been mysteriously stashed just next to their landing site. Izzian helped Gala remove various camouflaged colored nets, tree limbs and leaves that had been piled atop the van to help conceal it from curious eyes.

Izzian thought the van itself already had the best disguise; it was faded and looked as if it had been pieced together like an old quilt. No one looking at the jalopy would suspect that it actually ran.

"Well, that's just about everything," Enot said as he wiped the sweat from his brow after checking the van's cargo yet again.

Enot's Plascreen Inoculation Surveyor machine barely fit into the back. Izzian wondered why Enot didn't just shrink the massive hunk of metal.

"Why not just zap your big machine Enot? Wouldn't it be easier just to shrink the thing, rather than lug it all the way home?" Izzian felt useless and confused and decided he had several more questions to pose to his elders; things that he probably should have studied on the way to earth. It had been so much easier to sleep.

Enot rolled his eyes and sarcastically replied, "We can't just go around shrinking everything, Izzian. The Gratified Speed was built to accept a shrink and disintegrate command. If I could use the shrink and disintegrate command on _anything_ I wanted, I would have used it on your mouth long ago."

"Ha ha," Izzian said dryly.

"So who parked this old van here?" Izzian asked as Enot pushed a button on the remote control, and the remainder of Gratified Speed 1213 disintegrated into nothingness.

"Please clarify," said Enot.

"Well, I just saw our ship disappear and there just happens to be a van parked right near our landing spot. I dunno, it all seems preplanned or something," Izzian had tried to "clarify".

"First of all, matter doesn't just _disappear_ ," Enot said condescendingly, "When we shrink something, matter simply changes form, like ice into water. That's a universal comparison even Izzian here might understand."

Izzian ignored the blow, realizing that Enot would have very little patience for questions from anyone, much less himself, so he eighty-sixed his queries. He had learned not to ask a stupid sounding question that he should already know the answer to in Enot's opinion.

Plus, he was exhausted both mentally and physically from the trip and the fiascos of the day. His questions could wait for another day when he needed ammunition to annoy Enot.

But Enot was still showing off, and the elder kept rattling out facts that Izzian should already know.

"You should already know these answers. As for your other question, yes things have been preplanned," Enot said even more condescendingly. "Since your mind can apparently only hold small amounts of information, I'll remind you of protocol."

Gala noticed Izzian's anger resurfacing and interrupted, "Remember, Izzian, the elders on Klesia plan Goodwill Projects far in advance. Klesia also has a network of citizens stationed throughout the universe as undercover humans. You will never know the difference between humans and Klesians, if you are lucky. We knew the van would be here, but we will never know who planted it here."

Izzian did begin to recall some of his earlier training, but was disturbed at the thought of rogue aliens wandering the planet. It made him uneasy that he'd never even know who they were; or if they were watching him. He shivered at the thought.

Gala placed her hand on Izzian's shoulder and said, "Relax, they probably don't live anywhere near Sudden Bluff. The hidden aliens are only on earth to help with expeditions such as ours. Also, the Council of Interplanetary Consortiums needs to keep an eye on the universe. If someone on earth eventually gets proof of life in outer space, the CIC needs a representative present to... handle the situation. If we were to be discovered, it would most likely cause a widespread panic. Earthlings are not well known for accepting the unusual."

Gala shrugged and added, "It's all pretty top secret to someone in my field. But imagine an entire planet suddenly discovering there is life out in the universe, all over the place. Can you imagine the massive freak-out that might cause?"

Gala kept gabbing, but Izzian was miles away. He visualized being exposed as an alien by an angry mob of humans. He shuddered. Before his eyes, he saw images of enraged earthlings with pitchforks in hand, chasing a little green man through the streets.

He shook his head in an attempt to remove the terrifying hallucinations. The images were still there. The angry mob had caught the little alien and had him roasting over an open fire.

His plascreen had done that. At that moment, Izzian made a pact to never access his crazy acting plascreen unless it was totally necessary. _My plascreen has gone rogue, he thought, and developed a bad attitude. I am actually fearful of my plascreen..._

Gala droned on, "By the way, have I ever mentioned my own Goodwill Project? Well, when I was your age, I focused on Equaiiquintessence in adolescence, and my project subject was really quite introverted, so it was difficult to get her to open up..."

Gala rambled on about her Goodwill Project, but of course Izzian was too distracted to pay much attention. That and he didn't care. Rather than stand around listening to Gala babble, he hopped in the back of the van and pretended to help Enot.

Izzian checked each item stashed in the van while Gala delivered a speech about the Raging Slunt Notte tribe she'd lived with for a year. The term "Raging" Slunt Notte was contradictory to the appearance of the creatures. They looked like loosely formed blobs of transparent oatmeal, but they could move quickly if needed.

She spoke about helping the tribe learn how to weave baskets and sell them at market. "Only, that didn't work out so well, because the Slunt Nottes tend to ooze this sticky slime. The baskets were covered in the disgusting stuff and no one wanted to buy them. Well, it turned out that the slime eventually hardened and became this exceptionally tough plastic-like material. And, thanks to me, the Slunt Notte baskets are known all over the universe as the toughest, most indestructible baskets ever made. I'm trying to patent a few other things constructed of Slunt Notte slime, on the side."

Enot caught Izzian's attention and rolled his eyes. Enot whispered, "Once she gets started, she never stops. I feel sorry for the Slunt Notte tribe that had to deal with her for a year."

Izzian chuckled and realized he may eventually have an ally in Enot. Who knew? Crazier things had happened, like his plascreen discovering it wanted to be a comedian when it grew up.

"1313 Butterscotch Road, that's our new address. Let's go home," said Enot, climbing out of the van's cargo hold.

Izzian headed for the driver's side in an attempt to exert control of the wheel, but was quickly dismissed to the back seat. He decided that some things never changed, at least until one was old enough to drive.

***

~~IN YARN'S OPINION~~

The constant bickering hurts my brain! Looks like Izzian and Enot got off to a rocky start, like a couple of Beaky Buzzards. Gala and Izzian seemed to be fast friends, though, and our little alien may need a good friend in the coming year.

Earth wasn't exactly like the Huckchuck Region on Klesia or Ithmonius Sixteen, but it would prove to have its own feral creatures. They may not come in the form of an argumentative tree, but no planet is perfect.

You may be wondering what happened aboard the Gratified Speed 1213. I can tell you that nothing extraordinary occurred. Mostly, our three Klesians slept in extended sleep portals, only waking every so often to eat and use the facilities.

Take it from one who knows, space travel can be excessively boring. Since our travelers slept most of the trip, the ship didn't have to be overly weighed down by food and other supplies. If you think about it, one doesn't need much when one slips into a relaxing, extended sleep portal, just a favorite blankie and a comfortable pillow.

And since most of the comet ship burns away, extra supplies would only end up disintegrating or floating through space as burnt pieces of crud. Trust me, there is already too much crud floating around space, some alien space ships and their crew included.

For instance, I am currently being followed by a group of Fester Tails. You heard me correctly: Fester Tails are real.

I understand your skepticism. Fester Tails are the stuff of legends and fairytales. As children, we sing songs about the Fester Tail princess who saved the kidnapped king and queen by building a tiny space ship. She zoomed to the cruel planet, battled the callous kidnappers and flew home a hero.

I assure you that Fester Tails are not as pleasant as the fairytales and songs would have you believe. They can be quite intrusive. They are also clever and manipulative. The Fester Tail princess that battled the mean aliens probably won with her wits rather than a sword.

I'm not sure exactly what the tiny buggers want from me, but so far, I haven't stuck around long enough to be caught. As long as I move around every few days, I should be safe. You see, they are rather small and a trip that takes me an hour might take the Fester Tails a few days at least.

If they caught me, the diminutive creatures could latch onto my ship, burrow through the hull and eventually make their tiny way into my ship's electronics. They can do horrendous damage if left unchecked. Strange that such a tiny being has the ability to create such a large disturbance. Fester Tails can do anything once they put their little minds to it.

And, the most important thing of all; if you ever find yourself infested with Fester Tails, remember to never strike up a conversation. If you do, they will never leave you alone. They may bury themselves deep in the smallest recesses of your ship and live there for generations.

***

CHAPTER 13

*AN ACCIDENTAL ENCOUNTER*

As was expected, Izzian was having some difficulty adjusting to human form and life on earth. The especially hot summer, blazing through the little town of Sudden Bluff didn't help matters one bit. Izzian often believed his skin was melting right off his body.

He wasn't used to having skin pores that started watering every few minutes in the Oklahoma heat. Even when he had first transformed to human, Thilillian Yangsley never made him sweat as much as the earth's merciless sun.

At first, Izzian was sure his human casing was leaking and that he was probably dying, until Gala set him straight. She had convinced Izzian that he hadn't accidentally poked holes under his arms; it was perfectly natural for a human to have wet armpits. He didn't have to enjoy it though.

Although Sudden Bluff seemed unhealthily hot to Izzian, he did like the feel of the place. The town was full of cute shops, roundabout sidewalks and historical buildings, surrounded by a deep forest.

While he meandered through the quaint streets towards the forest, Izzian rehearsed his cover story one more time: He had recently moved with his two young parents, Enot and Gala Klowosky. They sought a more peaceful way of life, and the little town of Sudden Bluff, snuggled in the northeast corner of Oklahoma, seemed like the perfect place to live. The Klowosky family packed their belongings, saying farewell to the hectic bustle of life in Las Vegas, a city in the colony of Nevada.

His plascreen butted in, rudely reminding him that Nevada was not a colony. It had become frighteningly intuitive, reading his thoughts more than ever.

Perhaps the contraption had kicked into overdrive, sensing that the boy was navigating an unfamiliar habitat. Maybe he had received a newer version of software that caused the plascreen to develop an actual personality. Whatever the case, Izzian did not appreciate the intrusive interruptions or the selective observations.

Why hadn't the plascreen explained the way humans sweat, or that the cow on the hillside did not have fangs? It seemed to enjoy watching the boy make silly mistakes.

Never mind the mischievous plascreen. He decided to stick to the cover story, but reminded himself not to call Nevada a _colony,_ they were called states. The story was vague, but Klesian scientists lectured that details could be researched and could eventually lead to discovery. Anyone looking _in_ from the _outside_ saw the perfect little family, albeit a slightly quirky one.

Besides the icky leaking, Izzian noticed that his skin color might just give him away. When he got upset, nervous or angry, his skin could change from the glow of a healthy human to a deathly shade of green. Of course, the green skin was a normal thing on Klesia, but Izzian feared an earthling might take it for some contagious disease and have him reported.

He was also having difficulty speaking human. Every now and again, thoughts would slip from his mind to his mouth and he'd blurt out any old thing he happened to be thinking of at the moment. Hopefully he'd get that problem under control before meeting Eliza or at least before school started. From his experience, speaking one's private opinions was not the best way to fit into the world of students and teachers.

His pretend mother was having the same problem. Gala noticed her thoughts slipping from her mouth during a visit from the plumber. She'd called Portly's Plumbers after Izzian had attacked the garbage disposal with a baseball bat, claiming the disposal had tried to attack him first.

When Mr. Portly, the plumber, had bent over to inspect the pipes under the sink, Gala had made a comment about _crack_ and _whack_ before she could stop herself.

Mr. Portly said he'd never been so insulted in his life and that he, being a very gentlemanly person, would forget she'd commented on his very personal crack habit.

Enot said the problem of unintentionally vocalizing one's thoughts was a very common glitch when anyone shape shifted. He assured both Izzian and Gala that the unbidden comments would eventually settle down as they got more used to their human form. Enot suggested that in the meantime, Gala and Izzian should stop talking so much.

Regardless of his rogue plascreen, misbehaving voice and leaking greenish skin, Izzian had a homework assignment on which to embark. He had no choice but to start the quest to become friends with Eliza Allready. It was time to become a spy.

With stealth and ninja-like grace, Izzian climbed the tree house he had discovered on a reconnaissance mission earlier in the week. His tree house, which lined up perfectly with Eliza's, was now called _base camp_. Izzian had stolen Enot's night vision binoculars to spy on Eliza through a few gaps and holes in the wooden planks of the tree houses.

"Hmm," he said aloud, scanning the familiar structure of Eliza's rickety tree house.

It occurred to Izzian that not too long ago, he had watched the exact same tree house whilst peering through the Al203 Telescope from so far away. The range and capabilities of those dangerous telescopes impressed and amazed him, and made him feel a little home sick.

Even though his last experience in the Al203 lab evoked cringe worthy memories, being chased by Dr. Yangsley and Mr. Seebot, he still missed Klesia.

Clearing reminiscent thoughts of home from his mind, Izzian zoomed in with the goggles. He peeked through a tiny slit between pieces of badly hammered wood and could clearly see that Eliza's tree house was empty.

"Uninhabited tree house. Subject not present," he said in a robotic voice, even though no one was around to hear.

He settled into a more comfortable spying position, imagining how the second part of his plan would transpire. Once he had learned all he could from spying on the earth girl with binoculars, he'd casually put himself in a situation that would introduce him to Eliza Allready.

Izzian had planned his first meeting with Eliza perfectly. He would accidentally bump into the girl whilst bird watching in the woods. He would look...well, sexy and sophisticated. Izzian imagined no earth girl could resist a bird watching dude in the woods.

From there, they'd easily become great pals; Izzian with his expertise in avian culture, and Eliza, captivated by the new bird watching boy from Las Vegas.

There was only one foreseeable problem with his plan. He knew very little about the birds of earth. He'd have to make stuff up and use his rogue plascreen as a last resort.

"I will charm that girl senseless," Izzian told a squirrel making its way up the roof.

His plascreen plastered the word _moron_ across his eyes and mentioned that squirrels were not worth speaking to. His plascreen also mentioned that his bird watching disguise was awe-inspiring. Izzian wasn't sure if the plascreen was being sarcastic or not, but he'd take his chances with the plan anyway.

"Stupid squirrel," he said, even though the animal had moved onto bigger, better things.

"I will approach the girl and melt her with charm. She'll never know what hit her...but I won't actually hit her," he added. Izzian rationalized that hitting Eliza outside of detention might be considered cruel on earth as well as it was on Klesia.

He sat in his base camp for what felt like hours, but was really more like minutes before boredom seeped in. After about ten minutes, he grew frustrated that Eliza hadn't shown up. Izzian had lost concentration and his real mission was forgotten, in favor of finding more interesting affairs to occupy his time.

For some reason, Izzian imagined the spy game would be more action-packed than it had been so far. The boy realized he may not be cut out to become a professional spy after all.

He began finding ways to entertain his bored mind like singing and wriggling his butt to alleviate the boredom of spying on an empty tree house.

"Where is she?" he said aloud.

Izzian slowly scanned around the inside perimeter of his own tree house. He investigated a trail of ants stoically making their way up the wall. He zoomed in on a single ant. The insect appeared huge and Izzian pretended he was fighting a colony of giant ants that had overtaken earth. Only he could save the world.

Izzian made his own sound effects while he pretended to shoot lasers from the binocular lenses. He lasered his way through the entire troop of giant ants until he noticed a large blurry mass huddled in the shadows of a dark corner. Wondering what the shape was, he adjusted the lenses again and zoomed in on what appeared to be a giant nose.

He knew enough about earth to know that there were no large nosed insects on the planet. Izzian continued scanning until he also noticed a mouth. The unsuspecting boy then saw two eyes glaring into his own.

Soon, but not soon enough, since most people would have already realized what they were looking at, Izzian discovered the form was an actual person. That person did not look terribly happy by the look on her face.

Izzian threw the binoculars aside in fear and shock. He stared openmouthed at the girl. There, sitting in the shadows, like a creepy hunched over monster, sat Eliza Allready. Her arms were crossed and her eyes were squinted in anger and suspicion.

At that point, Izzian assumed the second half of his plan was no longer relevant since he'd already blown the first part. Silence was his best option for the moment, and he couldn't think of a thing to say anyway. He'd allow Eliza to speak first. He desperately hoped he hadn't given himself away by mentioning Eliza's name, Klesia or any other taboo subject.

Izzian figured he may be able to wriggle his way out of the situation and still maintain some dignity. Eliza, however, was not about the let that happen. There would be no dignity for Izzian Klowosky that evening.

"Who are you and why are you spying on me?" Eliza commanded an answer.

Izzian jumped at the sound of her voice. _Perhaps if I pretend I cannot see her, she'll go away, he thought._

His plascreen flashed the words; _earth girls do not normally have cloaking devices. Eliza knows you can see her._

"Who are you and why are you spying on me?" She re-asked her question, leaving no room for nonsense. He remained silent, trying to think of an escape plan.

"If you don't answer me, I have a phone and I will call the cops. Are you a pervert or something?" she asked.

Izzian didn't want Eliza to call the cops and he wasn't sure what a "pervert" was. He wondered if a pervert was anything like a Plevert. On Klesia, a Plevert was actually a type of hairless flying rodent with glowing orange skin and Izzian knew he was not one of those.

"No, I'm not anything like that," he finally answered. "I'm new to town. I'm Izzian Klowosky and I moved here from Las Vegas, that's a town in the state of Nevada. My parents are Enot and Gala Klowosky," Izzian rattled off his entire cover story in less than three seconds, sounding like an idiot.

"That's part of an answer," she said and gave him the evil eye.

"And no," Izzian finished, "I am not spying on you. I'm...I'm bird watching," he said with a feigned confidence.

"At night?" she asked. "Nice sound effects by the way. You've waged a war against the insects and the world is safe once again, from the intimidating ant colony. Thank you, sir, for all you have done for your country."

Izzian's skin began leaking again. He'd made a complete fool of himself, and the girl's sarcasm was not helping.

"Well, I'm watching bats. There are quite a lot of them out here and well, do you like bats?" Izzian asked, trying to change the subject, especially the part about him battling the ant colony with pretend lasers.

"Okay. If you are not spying on me, then why do you have night vision binoculars pointed at my tree house? Oh pardon me, I meant _base camp_ ," she said.

Eliza ignored his excuse of bat watching at night. She would not be won over by a debonair bird watcher, it seemed.

"I'll rephrase my question. Why are you here trying to spy on my tree house and who the heck is Izzian Klowskowoskyklo?" Eliza moved toward Izzian looking rather threatening.

He backed away but the old familiar Izzian was beginning to surface. True to his character, when someone questioned his motives, he got angry. The situation was not going as planned and he felt he had lost control, if he'd ever had it to begin with.

"My name is Izzian, pronounced IZZ-EE-AN KLO-WOW-SKEE, not what you said. And I have every right to be here in my base ca-, I mean tree house. I can watch bats all night long if I want," he was gaining strength and couldn't stop, as was his nature when he felt cornered.

"So Eliza, try to pronounce my name right and apologize to me for skulking in the shadows of my tree house and I just might be your friend! If not, then you and I have nothing to say to each other!" he screeched like a toddler.

Izzian immediately regretted his loud words. He had to get close to Eliza in order to finish his Goodwill assignment. He also realized he may or may not have called the girl by her real name before she had actually introduced herself.

Izzian was nervously awaiting Eliza's enraged response after his ostentatious outburst, but the girl remained curiously silent. Eliza leaned back casually against the wall, chewing on something that smelled like apriguavo fruit.

The girl reached out her hand, holding a plastic bag and asked, "Want one?"

He took the bag, selecting three, not one, of the Sour-Yet-Sweet-Gummy-Worm-Treats. Izzian noticed the candy pieces were not real worms, but a sugary, chewy substance.

"Apriguavo flavored?" Izzian asked.

Eliza got a weird look on her face, and shook her head, "Apri-what-o? No, I think you ate a strawberry one."

Eliza remained seated but scooted closer to Izzian and offered a hand, "I'm Eliza. Eliza Allready. Maybe you already know my name, though? Anyway, nice to meet you Izzian Colonoscopy," she said.

Izzian took her hand and shook. As he pulled his hand away, he realized the girl's hand had been covered in sticky goo from the Sour-Yet-Sweet-Gummy-Worm-Treats. Nice one, he thought, as he tried to ignore the nasty stickiness that was practically gluing his fingers together.

"Look, I'm sorry about the whole binocular thing and all. I guess I would be mad too if I thought someone was spying on me. I'm really not spying on you and I don't even know you. I'm new here. Maybe you could show me around the place?"

Eliza considered Izzian's words and nodded her head, but her eyes still betrayed suspicion.

"Yea, it's been a long night, Izzian Clown-oscopy. I wondered how long you were gonna sit there and talk to squirrels before you noticed me in the corner," Eliza said, getting ready to descend the tree house slash base camp.

Izzian blushed red. At least he hoped he was red, but since the tree house was dark, it probably wouldn't matter if he had turned bright green.

"Meet me here tomorrow morning nine o'clock on the dot. If you're late, I'm gone. Otherwise, I'll show you around town," Eliza said as she reached the bottom of the ladder.

Izzian followed, hastily gathering his belongings and stuffing them in his ratty old backpack.

"Later Klowosky," Eliza said his last name without a moment's hesitation, showing Izzian she had been messing with him all along.

Before they were too far apart, Eliza yelled, "One more thing! How did you know my name before I told it to you? I'm gonna find out who you're working for, _Klowosky_!" Eliza turned around and jogged away from Izzian. He remained standing in the middle of the forest with his mouth hanging open like a Glotfish.

With a headache and shoulders slumped in defeat, Izzian dragged his backpack the whole way home, the same way Eliza had dragged all his plans- through the mud. _How could things have gone so horribly wrong?_

Even so, phases one and two of his mission _were_ complete, even if events hadn't transpired the way Izzian imagined they would. He'd spied on his subject and he'd met his subject and tomorrow, he'd hang out with his subject. In a way, he had been successful.

Too bad he hadn't come across as a sophisticated bird watching kind of guy, like he'd planned, but Izzian had a feeling that if Eliza Allready was involved, things rarely happened as planned.

***

~~YARN'S MUSINGS~~

Greetings fellow adventurers, it's me Yarn. Since we last spoke, I have been navigating and dashing through space avoiding a tiny ship that seems to be stalking me. I wish Leon and I were on speaking terms because he might tell me if the tiny ship has somehow caught us.

Besides all of that, Izzian has settled into life in Sudden Bluff and has set up a neat little bedroom in the attic on 1313 Buttscratch Road. No, I think it's actually 1313 Butterscotch Road.

His almost new friend, Eliza Allready, lives a few blocks south. If you take the quickest way to Eliza's, you'll have to enter the forest and look for the little path that has been beaten in by countless footprints. If you go the respectable way to Eliza's you could simply follow the cement sidewalks that decorate the little town of Sudden Bluff.

Wonder how the town Sudden Bluff got its name? Well, seeing as how I'm flashing around the skies, observing from above, I can guess. There's a large wooded area just past the mental hospital where Gala works.

The forest is dark, old, and just as foreboding as in any scary movie with a masked man chasing a scared teenager with a chainsaw. Then, in a single step, the trees and the earth fall away.

One little step out of the tree line and one might find oneself falling, falling into the river below. It is a rather _sudden_ bluff and I guess the early settlers were not terribly creative when it came to naming their town. But onto our characters...

They have met! Two beings living universes apart have finally been in the same room together! Even if the room was a rickety old tree house that Izzian referred to as base camp.

He's got an imagination, our boy. Have you decided yet if Izzian is the good guy or the bad guy? Nah, me either. It's too early to make an educated guess.

I'm starting to wonder when Izzian and his pretend parents will learn about the explosion on Klesia Moon Prime. I got a message through my SpaceBook account telling every space vehicle to stay away from Comet Central Station due to "an unprecedented malfunction currently under careful review by the CIC," or some such nonsense. Look me up under HotnSpicy_Yarn2468.

The message was brief, since the explosion turned out to be the result of a lit firecracker. As a matter of fact, it wasn't really an explosion at all; it was more like a flash of light, an echoing bang and some smoke. The only injured person was Ela Alana, the Junipean ambassador.

At first, officials believed there were two explosions; one firecracker set to go off near the boarding ramp of Gratified Speed 1213 and the other set to go off in Ela Alana's hair. It turned out that the man serving apriguavo slushy to Ela was startled by the first boom and had accidentally spilled the frozen juice over poor Ela's head.

You'd have thought Ela might have learned her lesson about not carrying electronic devices in her bulky hair, but no. She was doused by the drink yet again as the man noticed smoke arising from her tresses. What a mess.

The real explosion seemed to be some sort of deterrent and Klesian officials seem quite perplexed as to the reason why. Also, who would benefit from such a thing? President Boojum Twoeyes has declared the ignited firecracker to be the work of a young Klesian prankster.

Mr. Seebot and Dr. Yangsley offered Izzian Klowosky to the police as a suspect, but since Izzian was flying away on a comet at the time, his name was quickly dismissed. His father Ojolian was really angry at the accusation and finally stood up for his son. Unfortunately, his son wasn't there to see it.

Since that message, there have been no communications to or from the planet of Klesia or the colony on Klesia Moon Prime.

It's unsettling for a planet to have seemingly disappeared, but I can't investigate much since my ship is behaving like a spoiled brat. Perhaps when Leon is speaking to me, I'll have more answers.

I didn't get much sleep last night either, and I am adequately grumpy. I was lying in bed, on my Temper-Sleeperific mattress, and I heard odd clicking sounds coming from my walls. I couldn't be sure, but it sounded like the pitter patter of tiny little feet wearing nice loafers or high heeled shoes.

Hopefully, hearing the sounds of miniature footsteps wearing fancy shoes was only my over active imagination at work. One time, my imagination broke my heart when I imagined the man I loved would run away with me. He didn't, imagine that.

I am hoping beyond hope that I haven't gotten myself into a Fester Tail infestation, because if I have, I'll never be able to get rid of them. I can't resist talking and everyone knows by now, if you speak to a Fester Tail, they will never leave.

I sure wish Leon and I were on speaking terms, so he could verify my suspicions, but my stubborn ship is angry. Leon believes I cancelled the recording of his favorite big-vid show, _The SpacePod Who Saved the World._ I swear I never changed a thing. I don't even know how to work the interstellar cable box.

Leon had better get over his petulant behavior and help me determine whether or not we have a Fester Tail infestation.

With explosions, false hopes and Fester Tail stowaways, outer-space isn't always ice cream and puppy dogs. Let's just leave it at that.

***

CHAPTER 14

*FRIED BURRITOS*

The next morning Izzian woke up, startled to find Enot hovering above his bed. Still groggy from sleep, Izzian muttered senselessly, "Mommie? Wha's...wha's it's nine o'clock?"

"Wake up, Izzian. I need to talk to you," Enot shook the boy's shoulder.

Realizing it was morning and knowing he mustn't be late to meet Eliza, Izzian jumped up, accidentally causing his head to collide into Enot's nose.

"Ouch! Izzian, get dressed. We need to talk. Now," said Enot, apparently in no kind of mood for pity.

"What time is it?" demanded Izzian.

"It's eight thirty or so. Why? Do you have something important today? I highly doubt that..." Enot grumbled, becoming his usual negative self.

Automatically, Izzian was defensive. "What do you mean that you _highly doubt_ I have something important to do today? Why do you think I'm on earth? The only reason you are here is because of my Goodwill Project! How dare you barge into my room-"

"Calm down. I didn't mean it like that. I only meant that I doubted your plans were more important than what I have to tell you," said Enot.

"Oh. What's so important? I actually do need to get going." Izzian did not want to be late and needed to get dressed, but Enot was still sitting on the bed.

"I'm sorry for barging in like this, but Gala might be back with breakfast any minute and...I don't want to worry her. She's acting all weird and I don't want to overburden her with what's happened back on Klesia Moon Prime," Enot said, with his voice full of worry.

Suddenly, Izzian became worried. Enot had apologized. Enot never apologized.

"What is it Enot? Tell me," Izzian begged, his voice laced with urgency.

Enot took a deep breath and said, "There was a small explosion at Comet Central Station."

He told Izzian that as soon as the Gratified Speed 1213 had lifted off, some type of detonation occurred at Comet Central Station. The CIC had investigated. At first, the Klesians protesting the Al203 Telescopes were the most likely suspects.

In the end, the only thing the protestors had been found guilty of was crowding the walkways and annoying passengers. After careful consideration, Klesian President Boojum Twoeyes had dismissed the firecracker-like explosion as a prank.

"My ortnots...are they okay?" Izzian asked.

"Yes, I had a short message on my SpaceBook account. That Junipean ambassador's head caught on fire again, but no one else was injured. Also, some girl has disappeared, but officials believe she's a runaway."

"And...what? You think I did it? You think I caused the explosion?" Izzian grew defensive.

"Of course not. You couldn't have. I was with you the entire time. We were already in the air and you were strapped in. I checked, remember?"

Izzian recalled Enot's manic behavior that day and recounted how many times Enot had checked and rechecked everyone's seat belts. It was a staggering number and a testament to Enot's obsessive compulsive nature, in Izzian's opinion.

"Besides the little explosion, something else is bothering me," Enot appeared uncertain.

He had something important to say, but didn't want to cause a panic. He needed to confide in someone and Izzian was his best choice. Ojolian, Izzian's father, had a good head for solving puzzles and Enot desperately hoped that Izzian shared those abilities. Since Ojolian was nowhere near earth, his son Izzian would have to do.

"Enot, just tell me!" Izzian spouted, still groggy from sleep, teetering on the edge of irritable.

"I don't think you should worry, but I can't seem to get in touch with anyone on Klesia or Klesia Moon Prime," said Enot.

"What do you mean?"

"Like I said, I got the message on my SpaceBook account, so I called Ojolian. I tried my office at the CIC and at least twenty other Klesians. Not one single response, Izzian. I sent out a bulk Freemail. No one answered. I checked the GS 1213's communication beacon. It was working fine, sending my messages as it was designed to do. It's like everyone has disappeared."

Izzian said, "Maybe they're busy or something."

Enot nodded his head, saying, "Yes, possibly. The more obvious answer might be that the explosion interfered with all outgoing communications...but..."

Izzian interrupted, finishing Enot's sentence, "If the small explosion had caused all communication systems to stop working, you wouldn't have received that message on your SpaceBook account."

"Exactly," said Enot, relieved that Izzian had also connected the same dots. "It's just so strange. My messages send, but it's like nobody is there to accept them."

Izzian considered Enot's words and was not terribly worried at the moment, but Enot seemed completely baffled.

Izzian and Enot both jumped in surprise when Gala poked her head into the room.

"Gala," said Izzian. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to see the two of you falling in love," she joked, but Izzian did not care for her sense of humor at the moment.

Enot stood and headed out of Izzian's room, sniffing the air and asked, "What's that smell? Did you buy fried chicken for breakfast?"

"Yes. I also got eggrolls, pizza and some type of fried burrito. Breakfast is served, gentlemen," Gala shouted.

After Enot left the room, Gala approached Izzian. "So, what the heck was that all about? I really hope I didn't interrupt anything."

"Nah, we just decided to try to get along, that's all. Enot said he'd help me with my project when he isn't working on his own research paper. He's not such a bad guy, I think."

Gala grinned and said, "Well, neither are you and now I've seen everything! Enot and Izzian as friends? Who'd have thunk it?" She punched Izzian playfully on the shoulder and walked to the door.

"Izzian, is that's all you two were discussing? You can tell me. I know how to keep secrets," Gala said, looking as if she might have a few of her own.

Izzian considered telling Gala what he knew. She was a good person and would never want to hurt anyone, despite Enot's concerns.

"Well..." Izzian hesitated.

He had promised Enot after all. "Enot also told me he was falling in love with you. He said he wanted to run his fingers through your tangled hair but was afraid his fingers would get stuck. Enot also said he watches you sleep at night," Izzian joked.

"Very funny, you Glotfish. Come eat your fried breakfast before it gets cold," said Gala as she retreated to the kitchen. "Cold grease is not a very pleasant way to start off the day!"

Izzian supposed he could get used to life on earth if breakfast always included fried chicken and eggrolls.

***

CHAPTER 15

*THE WITCH OF THE BLUFF*

After a nutritious breakfast chock full of Vitamin G for Grease, Izzian ran to the forest, hoping to catch Eliza waiting patiently for him. In reality, he feared the earth girl would be gone since he was ten minutes late.

Instead, Eliza was sitting against a tree sketching in a black notebook. For an instant, before she noticed him, Izzian saw Eliza as he'd seen her from the telescope.

Her hair was mixed with brown and gold; nothing like Thilillian's startling shade of solid darkness. It had lighter streaks weaving through it from days spent lingering in earth's sun.

She was probably considered short by earth standards, and wasn't one of those excessively thin girls. That was fine by Izzian. She was pretty, in a non-green, humany kind of way.

"Hey Klowosky, you're ten minutes late. I was just about to leave when I realized you may still be running on Vegas time," said Eliza, rising from her spot.

"Sorry. What's on the agenda for today?" asked Izzian. Even though Enot was baffled by a few missed communications and worried about a harmless explosion back home, Izzian wasn't about to fail his Goodwill Project by staying home and helping his elder all day.

Eliza signaled for Izzian to follow as she walked through the woods, her planned destination unknown to Izzian. The two walked silently down the woody path, each considering personal problems and predicaments.

Acting nonchalant, Eliza carefully began a conversation. "So, Izzy," she said slipping into an informal version of his name to create a sense of familiarity, "Sudden Bluff isn't exactly bursting at the seams with innovative, sought after positions. You mentioned that your parents moved here for new jobs?"

"Well, actually no," Izzian said. "We really just needed a change, Enot, um my dad, is self-employed. He's a scientist and uses grants to fund his work. My mom is thinking about starting up a psychiatric practice. For now, she's been working at the mental hospital, Sudden Bluff Home for Mental Health. She spends a lot of time there."

Izzian was quite proud of himself for sticking close to the truth and delivering a believable answer with absolutely no stuttering of any kind.

Eliza processed the information, and subtly continued her investigation into Izzian and his past.

"Uh huh. I'm sure we'll share a few classes this fall. It's a small school. Do you miss Las Vegas?"

"Yes," said Izzian. He was really thinking about Klesia. "I mean, I miss a few people and I'm worried about a few things..." Izzian paused, knowing that the girl was memorizing every single word he uttered.

"Something...happened when I left Kles-...Uh Las Vegas. I'm afraid for everyone," he said.

The stuttering had begun. Izzian couldn't take Eliza's interrogations much longer. He felt bad for telling so many lies about the truth of his identity so early in the game, but he had no choice.

He couldn't think of another way to express his worries about Klesia and satiate her curiosity. Izzian couldn't help himself. No matter how hard he tried the concerns of his home planet kept resurfacing. Since he had to keep the truth of his alien status from Eliza, and therefore could not mention the problems back home, it was difficult to carry on a simple conversation.

"Why are you afraid for everyone back home?" snapped Eliza. The boy's stuttering seemed to have made her more suspicious.

"I meant I'm afraid I'll never see everyone again. I miss my old friends is all," He recovered quickly. Izzian was tired of lying, but knew the truth would never work on earth.

Eliza seemed to accept his explanation, but they both knew her line of questioning was not over by a long shot. Eventually, she would get the answers she needed.

However, Eliza knew that interrogating the boy to death would only shut him up even more. She was trying too hard and coming on too strong. Eliza changed the subject to a neutral, safe topic.

They walked slowly down the narrow path, brushing aside branches and shrugging off sticky spider webs.

"Eww," said Eliza as she pulled the thin tendrils of web from her face and hair. "I feel as though I've just passed through a ghost."

"Speaking of ghosts," Eliza said, admiring her own ability to smoothly transition to a new subject, "Sudden Bluff has its very own ghost. They call her Black Winny, The Witch of the Bluff."

"Winny?" Izzian asked, "That name's a little friendly sounding for a ghost-witch, don't you think?"

"Yes, but it is true. Black Winny was born Winona, the first-born daughter of Chief Raven Wing. The legend says that Winona was taken hostage and dragged through the forest by rival tribesmen." Eliza, in full storyteller mode, stopped underneath a large, swaying oak and lowered her voice.

"You see," Eliza continued once she knew she had Izzian's undivided attention. "Winona was the prettiest, cleverest, most desired Native American in Sudden Bluff. Her long, thick, luscious hair was darker than a crow's feather and her most prized possession. Not only was she beautiful, but she also had an unusual skill for potion making.

"The very day of her birth, the medicine man foretold of great things for her people, and it was true. Winona's tribe flourished. Her people loved her, her father adored her. Winona was considered to be a goddess, come to earth." Izzian shifted uncomfortably at the mention of _coming to earth._

"For her most valued potion, Winona had to journey into the forest under a full moon at midnight. She would chant her prayers and pick a Moonflower in bloom. The Moonflower potion allowed her tribe to stay healthy and prosper. It was thought to have magical powers beyond any other spells or brews.

"Even rival tribes worshipped the girl; such was her exquisite beauty and legendary Moonflower potion. Eventually, her potions and beauty would prove to be her undoing, as others became jealous. Others coveted Winona and swore that by stealing her, their tribe would prosper too.

"One night, while picking the Moonflower, she was abducted by the cruel chief of a rival tribe, stolen like a piece of property. The thing Winona feared the worst, being taken away from her family and loved ones and everything she had ever known was happening." Eliza was practically whispering.

Izzian had to strain to hear. A fresh wind arose suddenly, causing trees to groan, leaves to rustle and the branches to creak.

"Finally, after being dragged through the woods, far away from her tribe, the poor girl escaped the clutches of the evil chief and ran through the trees. Well, having grown up near the forest, she knew her way around. Winona realized that she may not be able to outrun her captors, but she could certainly outsmart them.

"Winona knew there was a small ridge, just over the edge of the bluff. Her plan was to climb over the edge, and hide on the little outcropping of rock which was barely big enough for a child. If her plan worked, the evil chief would believe she had accidentally fallen over the bluff.

"By the time he went below to search for her body, she'd be long gone, safely back in the protection of her own people. With a fierce look in her eye and the determination of a warrior, Winona ran for the bluff." Eliza paused for a second, adding drama to the story.

Izzian had seen the bluff at the edge of the forest. In fact, if it weren't for his plascreen flashing a warning, he may have tumbled over the side of the cliff himself. He had been terrified, peering out over the bluff, into the steep valley below and hadn't returned since.

His plascreen suddenly flashed the image of a clucking chicken, pecking at invisible seeds. Izzian blushed. _I'm not a chicken. Wait. Since when do I care what a stupid plascreen thinks?_

Eliza noticed the fear in Izzian's eyes and, satisfied that she was scaring him properly, continued. "A storm had been brewing and the wind had been blowing, much like it is today. Winona feared that around every turn or behind every tree, the fiendish chief hid, waiting to grab her. She heard footsteps close behind. The brutal winds whipped her long black hair, covering her eyes and disguising the way."

Eliza's voice grew louder and sounded panicky. "Suddenly the path became unfamiliar. Had she passed the old oak yet, the tallest tree in the forest? Or was she closer to the blackberries, near the stream? Winona was confused and fearful that the evil chief was gaining on her."

She paused dramatically again. Eliza was a seasoned storyteller who knew how to captivate an audience. She waited for a formidable gust of wind to sail through the trees.

As the wind blew, a lonesome whistling sound echoed through the forest. "Wooo...wooo..."

Izzian felt a chill creep up his spine, despite the heat of the day. "Well? What happened? Come on Eliza, tell me," Izzian begged.

"It might have been fear and confusion that caused the beautiful tribe princess to lose her way. Or it might have been the wind, blowing her long black hair into her eyes that caused her to take that fatal step-the step that ended her life. We will never know.

"But before Winona knew that she had gone too far, the ground gave way and by then it was too late. She found herself floating through the air. For a split second, right before she hit the ground, she imagined herself still running through the woods of her childhood, picking a Moonflower.

"You see, Winona knew these woods, better than anyone," Eliza said, opening her arms as if presenting the forest. "She didn't know she had died. She still doesn't know.

"After Winona plunged to her death, her people grew sick and weak. Some said that without Winona, the tribe had lost all of its magic. The people renamed the dead girl's spirit Black Winny; because every time she rises from the bluff in the dead of night, her long dark hair floats around her like black ink, rippling in the air."

Eliza's voice had grown quiet. The wind whipped up again causing the creepy sound, "Wooo...wooo..."

"She curses anyone who is unlucky enough to see her. If you ever pluck a Moonflower in bloom, her doomed spirit will arise and hunt you down. And if you listen carefully, you can still hear Black Winny, The Witch of the Bluff, calling out mournfully to her tribe..."

Eliza had timed her ending perfectly with another gust of wind. She waited for the gust, but it didn't come. Instead, the air remained still; not a leaf stirred, not a hair moved.

So when again the mournful sound was heard, without the benefit of a breeze, both Eliza and Izzian looked questioningly at each other.

Again, a sorrowful cry resounded through the forest, "Wooo...wooo..."

"Uh...Eliza, was that you?" Izzian asked, trembling.

"No, was it you?"

The breeze never returned, but the sound continued. Eliza grew confused by the ghostly whistle.

"Owls are nocturnal, right?" she asked, knowing good and well that no owl had made the creepy noise.

"Wooo...wooo..."

"Let's get out of here," cried Eliza.

"But not towards the bluff, okay?" Izzian answered with a cry of his own.

Izzian grabbed Eliza's hand. She pulled away to snatch her black notebook off of the forest floor.

"Leave it," Izzian commanded.

But Eliza returned for the journal. It was her most prized possession and it contained every secret she had. She'd never leave it lying around on the ground, even if Black Winny had come to hunt her down.

The frightful sound was unrelenting. "Wooo...wooo..." They both turned, ready to flee for their lives.

A head full of dark hair jutted down from the branches, blocking their path. Izzian and Eliza both screamed and reached for each other.

Trembling, they clung together tightly, thinking they had stirred up The Witch of the Bluff, as the dark headed creature swayed in the branches of an old oak tree.

***

~~YARN'S JOURNAL~~

Is this a bad time to interrupt the story? Izzy and Eliza keep hearing strange noises in the forest and old Yarn keeps hearing strange noises in my ship.

Black Winny may be swaying from the trees. Izzy and Eliza might be scared to death, but I feel as though I'm losing my mind. If Leon were speaking to me, he might explain why old Yarn keeps hearing tiny voices echoing up from the abysmal guts of my ship.

I blast my music and turn up the volume of Izzy and Eliza's voices even louder than my tunes. It doesn't help. Even if I am unable to hear the voices beneath the floors, I know something is there and it's driving me mad. I can barely focus on the adventurous escapades on earth, but I am trying.

First of all, our earth girl and our alien boy are both keeping secrets. They each have personal problems and predicaments of their own.

Even though Izzy tries not worry about the unanswered Freemails to Klesia, he worries anyway. His own problems keep interrupting his efforts to study and befriend his Goodwill subject. Plus, he doesn't feel very good about constantly lying to the earthling, either. It may not seem like such a big deal, but to Izzy, hiding his alien identity is a slap in the face to Eliza. And that is exactly what Izzy might receive from the girl if he ever confesses.

He's concerned about his fellow Klesians, his ortnots...and Thilillian Yangsley of course. And there seems to be no easy answer as to why an entire planet and its moon aren't answering any calls or signals, but Izzian can only overcome one problem at a time. For the time being, his main problem is convincing Eliza that he isn't a freak.

Eliza's current problem involves figuring out whether or not Izzian _is_ a freak. Think about how she must feel. This strange boy turns up in Sudden Bluff, already knowing her name. Considering how she's felt as though someone has been watching her for months, the boy's sudden appearance set Eliza on edge.

Was it all an odd coincidence or an organized scheme? Eliza has no way of knowing unless she comes right out and asks Izzy. She's not ready to do that, yet.

Eliza knows the strange boy has been keeping secrets, but she has her own secret too, and it's a puzzling one. Sometimes the earth girl senses things. Eliza knows she's not a mind reader, far from it, but her intuitions normally prove true.

Eliza knew that someone had been watching her from another planet. That seems crazy to a girl who has never believed in aliens. She doesn't know Izzy enough to trust him with her own secret ability, or her alien hunches.

If I know Eliza at all by now, she'll make Izzy confess first.

Besides, the strange boy could simply be a kid from Vegas. Maybe Izzian Klowosky is not a spying freak. Eliza doesn't know for sure and she doesn't really trust her powers. If she's wrong, she'll look like a fool.

Old yarn is getting stress headaches. Sometimes I want to jump in and tell the younglings how to behave. That's not why I'm here, though.

Perhaps I'll soon have the answers I seek. Maybe Izzy and Eliza will learn to trust each other. Perhaps Leon will stop pouting and explain the crazy noises I'm hearing in the walls. Sure, perhaps one day, pigs will fly.

Oh, but they already do. There's a small planet on the outer banks of Firithia with flying pigs. Not really, but it sure would be cool. Old Yarn loves bacon, especially bacon with wings. It's less fattening that way.

***

CHAPTER 16

*THE UPSIDE-DOWN BOY*

"Hullo," said an upside-down voice from the upside-down head. "It's only me."

Izzian and Eliza noticed they were holding onto each other as if their lives depended on it, and at the time, that had seemed true. Still, they separated quickly enough.

The boy in the tree wound his arms around the branch and gracefully flipped over. He landed with his feet planted neatly on the ground.

"Tah dah!" he announced after a perfect dismount. His fingers wiggled in the air portraying jazz hands. The boy received a hard thump to the head for his troubles.

"Oh Paksha, were you up there all along? You scared me half to death," Eliza said, glaring at the dark headed Indian boy. Her evil look caused Paksha to step away, scared half to death himself of receiving another head thumping.

"Oh," Izzian said with relief, still nervous that his human heart would physically beat out of his human chest.

He wondered how a human could be scared _half_ to death, when there weren't too many variations of death. You were either dead, or you weren't. There was no in between, he thought. That question was stored away to be solved another day and he didn't dare ask his plascreen for fear of being insulted again.

"Hey Eliza. Who's your new friend? By the way, please do not thump my head again. Sorry I scared you by making Black Winny sounds and for swinging from the branch into your faces, but you scared me first with your freaky story."

Paksha shivered and wrapped his arms around his torso, saying, "I have heard that story a thousand times, but no one makes it as scary as you, Eliza."

Eliza seemed rather pleased with herself.

She introduced Izzian to the curly headed boy with big glasses, "Izzian, meet Paksha. Paksha may be the only friend I still have in this miserable town."

Izzian's heart was still beating through his ribcage, but he managed to shake Paksha's hand. It was obvious that Paksha's tree dismounting skills were superior, but Izzian wondered if earthlings tended to pop down from the treetops whenever the urge struck. Feeling the desire to protect his human heart from another attack, Izzian made a note to be more cautious and observant of humans hanging about in trees.

Despite Paksha's proclivity towards monkeying around, the two boys immediately bonded through their mutual fear of Black Winny...and Eliza.

"She practically thumped a hole in my head," Paksha quietly complained to Izzian, rubbing the sore spot on his scalp.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I nearly peed my pants a minute ago, so..." Izzian confessed jokingly to the new boy.

"Me too," laughed Paksha. "And I was right above your heads the entire time, so it would not have been very pleasant for you both."

Izzian laughed. Eliza scrunched up her face in disgust. "Why do boys always talk about peeing their pants?"

"Would you rather we discuss farts?" asked Izzian. Eliza ignored him.

Izzian followed the two locals as they plodded down a path through the trees. Soon Eliza made a swift right turn and Izzian found himself walking on a completely separate path than before. He was impressed with the network of paths crisscrossing through the forest but was unable to gain any understanding as to the logic of the twisting, turning walkways.

The trails seemed to lack any semblance of order, zigzagging through the trees at odd intervals. Some paths lay hidden beneath overgrown ground covering or shrubs, while some paths were completely unrecognizable to the newcomer.

The path Izzian was walking seemed to abruptly end at a wall of tall, thick bushes and greenery. But to his surprise, they broke through the bushes and ended up on a sidewalk in a residential neighborhood.

Izzian didn't understand how one minute, they were trudging through the dense forest. The next minute, he was on a residential sidewalk, the historical buildings of downtown Sudden Bluff on the horizon. He hoped that one day he might be as proficient at navigating the trails as Eliza and Paksha, but for now he would simply follow the two professionals.

For a few more moments, the group of three walked together, joking and gossiping until Paksha abruptly made an excuse to leave.

"Sorry to break up this party, but I can't...I have to...meet some people," Paksha stammered, uncertain with his words. "It was nice to meet you, Izzian. See you later." The boy quickly ran ahead and skidded around the corner of a nearby residence.

"Packmule seems like a nice guy. I wonder where he's running off to in such a hurry?" wondered Izzian.

"His name is Paksha, not Packmule," Eliza said in a huff. She had a stern look upon her face and for a second, Izzian feared the girl might thump his ear off for asking a simple question. Instead, she quietly said, "He's scared."

"He's scared of Black Winny?" asked Izzian.

Eliza narrowed her eyes her eyes and said, "No, he's scared of Lucas and Link."

***

~~YARN KNITS A LETTER SWEATER~~

At first, I was hearing voices. Now, my ship is behaving oddly. I don't think it's Leon's fault, but he's still not speaking to me so I have no answers.

I'm bored and have only limited travel capabilities. All I can do is spy on earth and think about the eccentric occupants of the universes. It's as if someone or something is pulling every piece of my ship apart and putting it back together again like a misguided colony of Freebots.

Never heard of a Freebot? That's odd; I thought everyone had heard of the Freebot Builder's and Dismantling Association, a planet located on the outer banks of the Loomicka Quadrant. It is an interesting name for planet, I'll agree, but what can one expect from a colony of robots?

Freebots are divided into two categories, or sects as the natives say. One sect is referred to as Builder Bots. Builder Bots frenetically construct some of the highest quality precision machinery in the universes. Give a Builder Bot a piece of gum and a few wires and in an hour, you'll have a fully functioning alarm clock or a miniature replica of your SpacePod. Give or take a few ingredients.

Once you have paid for your newly constructed item with precious metals or old electronics- Freebots have little use for real money, it would be best to leave the planet as fast as possible. Seriously, the other half of the Freebot population is just as passionate about their occupation.

The other Freebots call themselves Unbuilding Bots, an unsophisticated term. Obviously the skills a robot has in technical intelligence, it lacks in creativity.

One may easily guess what Unbuilding Bots do every second of every day. They write poetry. Nah, they disassemble everything they touch. Unbuilding Bots can dismantle an entire planet in a week, and they are often used to clear the way for new construction.

If you happen to visit the planet called Freebot Builder's and Dismantling Association, I would not recommend staying the night. Visitors may awaken to find their beloved SpacePod dismantled and reassembled into a robotic personal assistant or a high tech hot tub.

Don't say you weren't warned. Perhaps the next time we speak, I'll have regained control of my ship and will be able to discuss topics more pertinent to Izzy and Eliza's story. The universe is a crazy place.

***

CHAPTER 17

*FRIENDSHIP AND FROZEN ICE*

Izzian's first day with Eliza had been one worth remembering. He had to admit, the earth girl was a most entertaining host, scaring him in a dark forest, introducing him to Paksha and leading him through the twisted paths to destinations unknown. It had been a remarkable day, even though Eliza had remained stubbornly quiet on the subject of Paksha making such a quick exit.

A few days later, Eliza had come to his house unexpectedly. She poked around in a suspicious manner, but Izzian didn't think she found anything too unusual. Enot had been working and Gala wasn't home, so things seemed fairly normal at the time.

Eliza grabbed some cash off the boy's dresser and signaled Izzian to follow. The duo ended up on First and Main Street, standing in the shade of a large tree.

Next to the tree stood a small shack and an old wooden sign with colorful letters reading, _Laddie's_ _SnowCone Haven_

"What flavor?" asked Eliza as she pulled Izzian to the front window of the shack.

"What flavor of what?" he responded.

"What flavor of shampoo, you idiot. Snow cone. What flavor of snow cone do you want?" she barked.

Eliza's tongue could cut when she grew impatient, but Izzian accepted her insult with a sense of camaraderie. Friends always called each other Glotfish on Klesia. He assumed the term _idiot_ was a cousin to Glotfish.

Izzian scanned the menu. "Strawberry, please," he said.

Eliza rolled her eyes. "Strawberry? I suppose you like plain old vanilla ice cream too." She approached the counter, and said, "Leave it up me, kid."

"Hello, Laddie. Meet Izzian. I call him Izzy for short and his last name is rather unpronounceable. Izzy, meet Laddie, the fine owner and efficient head waiter here at SnowCone Haven."

Izzian stuck his head through the tiny opening of Laddie's SnowCone Haven and felt the cool air-conditioned air assault his face. At first, he overlooked the diminutive man standing in a dark corner, pouring some mysterious colorful concoctions onto a cupful of shaved ice.

As Laddie turned his head towards his two customers, Izzian could have sworn that Laddie's eyes flashed. The old man's head seemed to turn too far over his shoulders. But before he was able to further assess the man's flexibility, Laddie had sped over to the counter and extended a hand in greeting. To Izzian, the man moved awfully quickly for a man of his age. The man's true age was unclear, though.

At first, Laddie had looked like a grandpa and the next minute, he was zooming around SnowCone Haven like an Olympic sprinter. The man had a crinkling face full of wrinkles hard won, but the twinkle in his eyes remained twinkling.

"Hello, Izzy with the unpronounceable last name. Is nice to meet you. Now, are you two goink to order, or stand here all day soaking up all my air-conditioning? This day is goink to be a scorcher. Is hot summer. Better get ready," said Laddie with an accent that Izzian could not quite place. It sounded Russian, but with something else mixed in; something...odd.

"I like it cold in here," declared Laddie.

He reached over and turned down his air conditioner to an even colder temperature. Icicles had formed on the inside of Laddie's shack and even though it was hot outside, Izzian could see his breath when he poked his head into the tiny window.

Upon further inspection, Izzian noted that some of the icicles were multicolored, like daggers of frozen syrup haphazardly flung into the air as snow cones were quickly prepared. The gem-like icicles sparkled in the light, and cast warped shadows all around the interior of the shack. The glistening ice along with the mysterious twinkle-eyed man gave Laddie's SnowCone Haven an ambiance of magic and mystique.

Oddly, the shack's outward façade was constructed simply of wooden planks hammered together and Izzian wondered how the old man was able to keep the temperature so cold. He dare not ask his plascreen, though, for fear of being insulted for his obvious ignorance.

"What else are they telling you, Laddie?" Eliza asked. She then pointed at Izzian and quietly added, "He's okay."

Laddie had an important secret, in Eliza's opinion, and she wouldn't announce it to just anybody on the street. He was also the only person Eliza had trusted with her own secret. Laddie had helped her better understand her telepathic abilities.

Laddie took a long look at Izzian, sizing the boy up. Izzian thought that the old man's eyes had flashed yellow, quick as a blink, but couldn't be sure. He held Laddie's current aqua-colored gaze for as long as he could before breaking away, feeling uncomfortable.

"Laddie speaks to spirits, Izzy. Don't tell anyone, of course. He always knows things that other people don't. This is a small town and the gossip could ruin him," Eliza said insistently.

Laddie giggled and rolled his eyes. "Eliza, you exaggerate better than I make snow cone. The only thing that could ruin the SnowCone Haven is long cold freezing winter. If only...Is okay to dream though," the old man said wistfully. "Other than that, I'll always make money on snow cones, especially during the coming summer."

Izzian noticed the man's accent faded in and out as if some sentences deserved a Russian-sounding accent and others didn't. He wondered where the snow cone slinger had developed such an odd sounding twang.

"Now, order or go play. I haven't time to stand here all day trading gossip and talking about the weather," Laddie said, sounding less like a wizened Russian mage and more like a grumpy old man by the second.

"He must not be getting anything important from the spirits, you see," said Eliza to Izzian, explaining away the old man's rudeness.

"Nah, spirits tell me plenty. Like right now," Laddie said. He rolled his eyes and waved his hands. His voice wavered in pretend concentration. "The spirits tell me... this young man wants a Donkey's Blood Orange Delight and this young woman wants a....Blue Fish-Eye Special."

Laddie quickly recovered from his make-believe ghost chat and with a straight face said, "That's five dollars. Fifty cents more if you want extra Sour-Yet-Sweet-Gummy-Worm-Treats."

Eliza paid the peculiar snow cone vendor with Izzian's money, and directed him towards a picnic table.

The snow cone newbie worried about the taste of donkey mixed with blood and oranges. Izzian was just about to complain and ask for strawberry instead, when Laddie appeared next to the table, carrying two very large cups filled with shaved ice and colorful syrup. The old man had added an extra handful of Sour-Yet-Sweet-Gummy-Worm-Treats, even though the kids had only given him a fiver.

Eliza grabbed her snow cone and began slurping it greedily. To Izzian it looked as if more snow cone landed on her hands and face than in her mouth.

"Go on, eat," said the girl with Blue Fish-Eye Special dribbling down her chin. "Don't they have snow cones in Vegas?"

Izzian sniffed the colorful cone of ice and took a timid lick. He then took another lick and realized the icy confection tasted quite good.

"Doesn't taste like a bleeding donkey at all," he said relieved, as he gulped a large portion of ice down in one bite.

Eliza eyed him wearily and said, "How do you know what a bleeding donkey tastes like? Never mind. For some reason I think you know more than you let on."

He took a break from chomping the sweet treat and posed a question to his new friend. "The other day in the forest when Paksha scared us to death, what was in that black notebook you couldn't leave behind?"

"That's just my journal. You know, for notes and stuff," she answered. She couldn't tell Izzian the true contents of her journal.

"Can I take a look at it?" he asked, timidly, for fear she might hit him. The girl seemed rather strong and heavy handed with thumps as well.

"Sure, you can look, Klowosky. Just don't open the thing."

Eliza ceremoniously pulled out the smooth, black notebook with gold letters spelling out: _Eliza Allready and her Plans for World Domination_. She handed it to Izzian.

"Wow, that's heavy stuff. Maybe sometime I can actually look inside," said Izzian.

Eliza gave a doubtful sounding harrumph. She snatched her notebook away, leaving behind the sticky residue of Blue Fish-eye special snow cone smeared all over Izzian's hands.

The notebook slipped from her hands and the pages fluttered open. Izzian was able to see writings on a page that looked oddly familiar. His eyes grew wide. The words on the page were alienspeak. Eliza Allready had written in alien and Izzian had seen it. His heart palpitated and his confusion mounted.

Eliza hadn't noticed. She said, "The title is actually a ruse, idiot. I have no plans for dominating the _entire_ world. Haven't you ever written in a journal? I've had the strangest sensation that someone has been watching me, so I write about it. Plus, I write to talk myself out of being morose. Sometimes it really sucks to be Eliza Allready."

_Sometimes it really sucks to be Izzian Klowosky too, he thought._ It especially sucked that Izzian couldn't tell the girl he had been the watcher in the sky. He couldn't tell the girl that he understood those strange writings on the pages of her journal. There was no way he could tell the girl that he was far from human. He had no way to ease her worrisome mind and it made him sad.

Suddenly, he hated himself for being such an accomplished liar, by omission, and he hated the elders on Klesia for inventing such a dishonest thing as the Goodwill Project. How could anyone become a Compassionate Citizen of the Universe by telling a thousand lies? Izzian realized, not for the first time, that the elders of Klesia were ignorant hypocrites.

The two sat on the picnic table under the shady tree, sharing snow cones and conversation for the rest of the morning. For a few hours, Izzian had forgotten all about the troubles on Klesia Moon Prime.

There would always be a part of him that felt bad for hiding his true nature, but he had to keep his alien identity a secret. He had to stick to the rules of his homework assignment, even though he hated every second of it.

That day, he had learned something, though. Reddle F. Girth could keep her precious wings. Izzian had decided that he'd rather sit in the shade and eat a snow cone with Eliza than hang out with all the winged Grotanoans of Grotanoa.

***

~~THE INNER YARN~~

Eliza and Izzian were getting to know one another and Izzian was becoming a snow cone aficionado; my mouth waters just thinking about a sugary sweet Donkey's Blood Orange Delight snow cone. Maybe old Yarn will just pop down to earth and try one.

While those two dream away a summer day, munching on flavored ice, it seems like Klesia and Klesia Moon Prime might have vanished. Izzian doesn't really know what's going on, but hopefully Enot will gather some more information. There may not be much our boy can do anyways, seeing as how he's on earth.

Speaking of dreaming...last night I swear I heard the tinkling of tiny cutlery on small plates of china. I know that sound well. Once upon a time, I was a dining room server in the castle of the Arch Bishop of Firithia. Sure, Firithians aren't exactly small, well they are gigantic compared to most, but the sounds of knives and forks hitting the plate are the same no matter the size of the creature, I'd wager.

At first, I thought I had gone crazy...again. But now I am positive the voices aren't _all_ in my head. I heard laughter and singing too, sounding way off in the distance.

You know that sound when your television is left on in another room and the voices are all muddled? Well, imagine hundreds of tiny creatures, hidden in the depths of my SpacePod Leon, singing merrily and chatting up a storm.

It sure would help if Leon and I were on speaking terms, then he might fill me in on the goings on behind the walls and in the bowels of the ship. But alas, he finally informed me of the reason for his silent treatment _this_ week. Leon is angry with me for not stopping at _Your Ship's Spa and Manicure Station_ , an expensive washing facility we passed in the Redringo Quadrant.

The ship has been tranquil all morning long. As if those creatures living in my walls were all sleeping late because they must have partied too hard last night. I heard those Fester Tail buggers, and they are definitely up to some buggery. I just know it.

It's enough to drive old Yarn crazy, it is. I suppose I'll have a look around and see what I can see. That way I'll know if I've gone nutty or not. Maybe they'll put me in that place Gala works at, Sudden Bluff Home for Mental Health.

Sure, I'll become a resident of the looney bin, that's one way to get rid of my Fester Tail problem. Nah, the Fester Tails would eventually just follow old Yarn there, too.

***

CHAPTER 18

*PINK PEPPERMINT PITY PARTY*

Life on earth wasn't all snow cones and gummy treats for Izzian. He was worried about the brewing catastrophes on his home planet and summer in Sudden Bluff was getting hotter by the day. The boy's stomach constantly ached due to all the lying he'd been doing.

Back home, he was used to telling a little fib every now and again, but it seemed like every day with Eliza was one big festival of lies. It was a struggle to keep the truth of his alien identity a secret when Eliza was so full of interesting stories of her own.

One positive outcome of the sizzling sun: Izzian had developed a tan. He hoped that it would cover some of the green sheen he anxiously noticed each time he glanced in the mirror.

As if it weren't enough to be afraid of randomly turning green, habitually lying to his new friend and constantly worrying about the missing Klesians, Izzian had developed a bully problem.

Izzian had his first run in with the audacious twins Lucas and Link on a return trip from town, having indulged in a Pink Peppermint Passion snow cone from Laddie's. He and Eliza were having a pleasant afternoon, strolling through town, walking back to the tree house.

Eliza was finishing up her Badger's Banana Boil snow cone and abruptly stopped walking, causing Izzian to skid into a stop to avoid running her down.

"Hey, watch out," said Izzian. He safely recovered his teetering mound of sugary ice.

He hadn't noticed the reason for Eliza's abrupt stoppage, and he continued to prattle on about life and its little quibbles.

"Do you really think badgers like banana? Eliza? Do you think it's girly of me to order a Pink Peppermint Passion? I haven't seen many boys sporting pink around here, but I think it's a delightful color," he declared, busily sucking up the sweet confection.

"Izzian," said Eliza under her breath, "please stop talking. It's not the right time for you to go all prissy on me."

"Well, hello girls," said a boy who looked identical to another boy. The other boy snickered and added, "Hey kid, enjoying that Pink Peppermint Pleasure?"

Izzian tried to uncross his eyes at the site of two humans that might be clones. One of the boys had an enormous pimple jutting out from his nose and a cluster of similar looking mounds residing on his chin. Aside from that, Izzian assumed even the boy's mother had a difficult time telling them apart.

Izzian spoke up, "Actually, it's Pink Peppermint _Passion_ and while it's quite tasty, it pales in comparison to the Rhino's Raspberry Relish. Laddie makes magnificent snow cones."

The clone boys laughed aloud. Eliza cringed and Izzian realized it was all at his expense.

"Let me guess, Eliza. Your snow cone is called, Eliza the Loser Lemonade?" the dominant twin said, chuckling at his own joke. He then pointed to Izzian and asked, "Who's this turd? Got a new friend Eliza the Loser?"

"He's none of your business, Slink. Leave us alone," said Eliza, combining both boys' names into one. She grabbed Izzian's arm and urged him to escape while he could.

"It's okay, Eliza. Let me introduce myself. My name is Izzian Klowosky. I'm from Las Vegas; that's a town in the state of Nevada," Izzian rambled off his memorized factoids, oblivious to the fact that most Americans knew exactly in which state Las Vegas was located.

There was a silent pause hanging in the air, and then suddenly Lucas and Link burst out laughing. Eliza appeared to be turning red from anger.

"Looks like you've met your own twin, Eliza! You two freaks are perfect for each other," pimple faced Lucas said through his hearty laughter.

The boy with a clearer complexion sneered, adding, "Izzian? Wh-what the heck kind of name is that? Izzy stupid? Izz-he-an alien?"

Suddenly, Izzian's worst fear surfaced. _How did this schmuck know he was an alien? Were the twins, Lucas and Link Klesian spies?_

Eliza rescued Izzian from his confusion by whispering, "Don't pay attention to these idiots."

He noticed that Eliza seemed to cower to the lunatic twins. In fact, a little cluster of kids had gathered to watch the whole spectacle and they all appeared trembling and nervous.

The twins were quite happy to have an audience. They kept making stupid name jokes, like "E-Loozer Allready," and "Eliza Allready stinks," thinking they were incredibly funny. But the surrounding kids seemed to be laughing more out of fear that actual pleasure.

Izzian didn't mind the audience, either. He smiled, knowing that he played well in front of a crowd, too. He'd had a lifetime of practice.

"Izzy, please. Let it go. Come on," Eliza beseeched.

Izzian was confused about the girl he'd come to know as a tough cookie, acting so timid, but Eliza's unusual behavior could be cleared up later. For the present, Izzian did what he did best.

"I don't believe you've mentioned your own names," Izzian said casually. "Which one of you is Mucous and which one is Stink?"

Someone in the cluster of kids giggled and Izzian recognized the dark headed boy right away. Paksha stepped up and stood near Izzian.

"Ha! That's a good one, Izzy. Mucous and Stink-get it? Lucas and Link," Paksha explained to the group of kids, his voice full of nervous tension.

Izzian liked crowd participation. He fed off of it and he was thankful for Paksha's help.

Izzian looked at Paksha and said, "Or, Pukus and Fink?"

Apparently, Paksha had decided it was worth the wrath of Lucas and Link to create a few nicknames of his own. "I believe their birth certificates say Ducus and Dink," he said with gusto.

"It's true, it's true," said Izzian.

The other kids had finally snapped out of their fear induced silence. A few even dared to giggle; except for Eliza, who had stepped away and kept her mouth shut. Meanwhile, Lucas and Link were obviously not used to being on the bullied end of the bullying. They were not happy twins.

"So boys, it's settled," Izzian said seriously. "From this day on, Lucas and Link are to be called...Pukus and Stink. Please address them as such. Agreed everyone?"

The nervous crowd of onlookers tittered and giggled, but Paksha was the only one in the click of children bold enough to say anything against the twins. But before Paksha could open his mouth to agree with Izzian, Lucas and Link retaliated.

"Shut up, Paksha. If you're smart enough to," said Lucas with a leer in Paksha's direction. "So, new kid from Las Vegas _of Nevada_ ," Lucas was building up to make his point, and Izzian got ready to run. "Izzy about to get his butt whooped?"

Link answered, "I think so."

Lucas and Link worked in tandem, too quickly for Izzian to run. Lucas pushed Izzian to the ground forcefully and Link plopped the boy's snow cone directly on top of his head. Izzian felt the jolt of pain as his derriere hit the concrete. He felt the cold ice running down his face, leaving behind accents of pink.

Lucas stood up taller, admiring his and his brother's handiwork. "There. It's a work of art," he said, gesturing to Izzian's prone, clownish position. "I call it Pink Peppermint... Pointlessness."

The group of kids laughed nervously at the ridiculous looking new kid, splayed on the ground, sporting a snow cone clown hat.

Link said, "Come on everybody! Swim party at our house."

Lucas kneeled close to Izzian's ear and whispered. "Consider this a warning. That's nothing compared to what you'll get if you ever go against me again. If you know what's good for you, you'll stay away from this loser," he added, pointing to Eliza.

Putting on a jovial face, Lucas yelled, "You guys are certainly welcome to come too. Just clean yourself up first. No pink in the pool unless it's on a girl's bikini!"

With that, the group of kids followed the now friendly and joking Lucas and Link, mostly ignoring Izzian and Eliza. A few looked back with apologetic expressions but all remained silent, following their apparent leaders.

Izzian's compatriot, Paksha, shrugged his shoulders, apologizing to Izzian and Eliza, and then ran after the disappearing group of merry kids. Apparently, Paksha wasn't quite ready to completely rebel against the towering twins. Either that or he really wanted to see a few girls in pink bikinis at the swim party.

Eliza extended a hand to help Izzian up, and said, "I tried to tell you. You don't mess with Lucas and Link. You're new here Izzy, but those two boys are trouble."

Sitting on the ground with sore buttocks and Pink Peppermint snow cone dripping down his face, Izzian wondered what had just happened. He had been sorely defeated, that much he knew. But it had all happened so quickly that he hadn't even stood a chance at redeeming himself.

Eliza offered a hand and helped Izzian to his feet, smearing her sticky Banana Badger all over his already sticky hand. _This is becoming a habit with her, he thought._

"Thanks, I guess I thought I could escape fast enough when those boys got too mad. Usually I'm pretty fast. It's like they worked as one single person. They were faster," Izzian admitted as he placed his hand on Eliza's shoulder, rubbing the gummy sugary goo from his hand back onto her shirt.

"Twins huh? Fascinating..." Izzian said, not realizing he was speaking aloud. "Just like Simbiots," he mumbled to himself. So far, Izzian had been able to mostly control his thoughts slipping from his mouth, but he'd been rattled by the twins.

"What are Simbiots?" Eliza asked.

Without thinking, he began explaining the definition of an alien species. "Simbiots are another version of twins. They are attached by a type of juicy umbilical cord," he said, gesticulating with his hands.

"Gross," said Eliza. "Please continue."

Izzian stopped himself. He'd almost blabbed out the truth; the universe contained countless other beings and Simbiots were just one more race of aliens. Quickly, the boy came up with another lie to cover his rambling mouth.

"Uh...I like to write science fiction stories. It's a name I came up with for a character."

Izzian considered the pros and cons of accessing his plascreen to look up information about Simbiots. He'd come to think of the expansive artificial database research tool as an enemy, due to its constant borage of insults and jokes at his expense.

Back home, Izzian hadn't thought twice about using his plascreen, and was thrilled that it would one day be implanted behind his eyes. But on earth, his plascreen had gone rogue and since it was located behind his eyes, he couldn't even remove the irksome thing.

The second he stepped out of Gratified Speed 1213, the plascreen seemed to have a mind of its own and that frightened the boy. Not only that, but it seemed that on earth, he was living more in the moment, using emotion as a guiding tool, not some interactive database that told him tons of useless information.

Oddly enough, his plascreen flashed the information Izzian needed regarding Simbiots and left out the usual insults.

"Simbiots possess both organic and artificial parts, and can move quickly when they work together as a team. Like Lucas and Link." Izzian realized the bridge of differences between Simbiots and the twins grew closer with each comparison.

Gala said there were undercover aliens living all over earth, but he quickly dismissed the idea that Lucas and Link were earthbound, secret agent aliens. They were far from Compassionate Citizens of the Universe. Then again, Izzian knew of several aliens that behaved opposite of CCU.

"Simbiots are often used by a certain cult of scientists for research. One twin prefers dealing with numbers and scientific equations. The other twin prefers a more philosophical outlook."

"Oh, a right brain, left brain kind of thing?" asked Eliza.

"Exactly. But, we both know that Lucas and Link's combined brainpower doesn't even equal a single brain. Do the math," said Izzian. They both grinned.

"But in actuality, anyone could be an alien. We'd never know," Eliza said, stopping, looking Izzian in the eyes.

Izzian replied, "Yes, I suppose you are right."

The two stood there, in a bizarre type of Mexican stand-off, each wondering what the other knew but wasn't saying.

Izzian was fully aware that Eliza had known she was being watched. But did she guess it was Izzian doing the watching? He continually felt bad for lying to Eliza about every single thing and considered spilling his guts at that very moment. The truth was on the tip of his tongue, waiting to be spit out.

Instead, he pretended the alien discussion had never happened. It was an interesting concept to think that Eliza might already be in on his secret.

It didn't make a difference what Izzian said if she already knew he was an alien. Izzian promised himself to think about confessing the truth at a later date, when he wasn't doused in pink peppermint snow cone.

Without warning, his unruly plascreen flashed a word that Izzian tried to ignore: _coward._

***

~~DAYS OF OUR YARN~~

Yes, yes. It is all very interesting, our hero's adventures on earth; dealing with bullies and the like, worrying about Klesia, wondering if Eliza has caught on to his secret yet, enjoying snow cones and meeting new friends, like Paksha.

Since I just summed up the entire chapter in a single paragraph, I'd like to share another remarkable occurrence. Remember I mentioned my suspicions of a Fester Tail invasion? Well, it turns out I am not crazy after all, even though I am older than mold.

You see, I unscrewed my airboard and removed my particle enhancer/de-hancer controller and made a curious discovery. There, in the dusty corridors of the backend of my control panel, I saw tiny footprints; dozens and dozens of tiny footprints.

Upon further investigation, I found even more Fester Tail evidence. I grabbed my Infinites-Imal-Ogler, also known as a magnifying glass, and peered deeper into the bowels of the ship. You may not believe this, but I found a tiny rug placed in front of a handmade wooden door.

The rug said, "Welcome." They placed a welcome mat in my on-board computer systems. Even worse, they built a door. Worse than that, my hands are too big to reach in and open the door.

Peering even more closely, I saw a small envelope stuck to the little wooden door with "For Yarn" written on the outside.

Using a pair of long tweezers, I snatched the envelope from the door. I opened the tiny envelope really carefully and used my Infinites-Imal-Ogler to read its contents.

Okay, let's get back to Izzian and Eliza...

I am only kidding. This is what the letter said:

Dear Lady Yarn,

We have decided to settle here, for the time being. Please keep your music turned down to a decent level, as we have had some recent complaints. Also, we are listening to your stories involving Izzian and Eliza with bated breath. We would like to offer our assistance.

We have come to a consensus that Izzy needs to tell Eliza the truth. Eliza also needs to fess up. They both know the truth, but for some reason are deciding to play dumb.

We would further like to add that too much sugar, even in snow cone form, is bad for humans and Klesians alike. While we, the Fester Tail people, have the metabolism of a hummingbird and a diet that consists mainly of sugar, larger sized beings should learn portion control-especially children.

We have decided that you, Lady Yarn, should consider a trip to earth. You are to notify that Laddie fellow, the owner of SnowCone Haven, that he must provide a healthier alternative to the children that patronize his establishment. Mr. Laddie must offer a sugar-free substitute at the very least.

One last note of interest to convey: We do not enjoy being referred to as a Fester Tail _infestation_. We are a settlement and henceforth shall be called as such. Thank you for your concern and please answer us back.

Post Script: Our beloved mechanic goes by the name Hulla Baloo. Mr. Baloo does not like to hear certain adjectives when discussing our people. Please refrain from uttering words such as: little, small, miniscule, insignificant, tiny or microscopic. Hulla is a proud Fester Tail and is of the belief that we are normal sized while everyone taller than a Slimerot Slinker is an ungainly giant. Thank you for your consideration. Those are our demands.

Post Post Script: Our lovely daughter, Esterly, believed it quite rude of you to avoid us for so long, maneuvering this way and that, zooming through space in an attempt to outrun us as if our ship carried the Pock-of-the-Chicken Plague. Shame on you. Esterly would have you know that once a Fester Tail sets her or his mind to a task, it is near impossible to stop us. You should consider keeping that fact in mind if you attempt to force us off your ship.

Sincerely,

Signal and Muriel Minor, Spokespeople for the Fester Tail Tribe of SpacePod Yarn.

...

Can you believe that? Those tiny creatures have some nerve calling themselves The Fester Tail Tribe of SpacePod Yarn; as if I had invited them to live on my SpacePod. Leon and I are just fine with things as they are.

This Signal and Muriel Minor have the nerve to demand I go to earth? I'm supposed to meet this Laddie person and tell him, "Hullo! I'm the Sugar Police and I demand that you sell fewer snow cones to children."

Of all the nerve! Do the Fester Tails believe they are the smallest dental hygienists in the universe? Well, I'll show those pesky Fester Tails who's the boss on Yarn's ship. I'm writing a tiny letter of response. Meanwhile, I'm blasting my music at full volume!

***

CHAPTER 19

*A SHORT FUSE AND DIRE NEWS*

Izzian and Eliza spent more and more time together, huddled next to a fan in the tree house that was permanently renamed base camp. Izzian's old ally, Paksha, had become part of the group and fit in perfectly. They had bumped into each other under the usual circumstances.

One afternoon in the forest, Izzy and Eliza were bombarded by a barrage of acorns. Looking up, fearing they were under attack from an army of angry squirrels, the two discovered Paksha hanging upside-down from a branch.

The dark-headed boy's glasses perched precariously on his ears as if they were determining whether or not to abide by gravity, or to remain suspended upon the boy's nose. Paksha performed a dangerous dismount from the branch and landed with his usual grace and flourish.

He apologized for leaving Izzian on the ground dripping wet with snow cone that day. Paksha confessed he had been afraid of Lucas and Link for years, but he was too old to follow anymore. He'd made the decision to leave the entourage of the evil twins and not look back.

After a brief consultation, Izzian and Eliza agreed to allow Paksha into their circle since he was a funny, cheerful fellow and he'd stood up to Lucas and Link. Besides that, Paksha's mother happened to own the local hair salon, Bluff Cutz. She was privy to more adult information and gossip than anyone in Sudden Bluff.

The heat had become unbearable, and the kids needed a new, colder base camp. Izzy's house was the logical choice to the other parents since his was the only household having a full-time work at home parent. Izzian also had the best collection of video games out of the three. Enot was a naturally paranoid person and complained about having earthlings underfoot every day.

Gala had laughed and said, "What could the earth children possibly see? It's not like you're down in that lab dissecting humans. Am I right?"

Izzian had shivered at the thought of Enot dissecting humans in his basement lab. He was part human after all. Gala, as usual, had eventually convinced Enot that nothing would go wrong and made Izzy promise to keep the earthlings well away from the basement lab.

From that point on, Paksha and Eliza where often seen running up and down the steps to Izzian's loft, coming and going as they pleased. It had become a tradition for the first one up the stairs to set up the video game and invite the others into the world of Slime Craft.

Besides Slime Craft, the trio often competed in _Alien Abduction_ ; a game Izzy had purchased as a personal joke. Alien Abduction required one team of humans and another team of alien invaders. Each time, Paksha claimed the role of alien and never tired of implanting alien larvae into unprotected body cavities, triumphantly turning each human into a mindless zombie.

One afternoon, during an intense online gaming session, Enot barged in and awkwardly greeted the trio of gamers. Without prior parenting experience, Enot had failed to understand the importance of waiting until the players had completed a level before interrupting the game. So, in the middle of a very serious battle, Enot abruptly commanded Paksha and Eliza to leave.

His inconsiderate actions caused the death of every player on the team and Izzian was furious. After his friends, sensing Enot's no-nonsense mood, had hastily departed the attic-loft-turned-base-camp, Izzian threw down his controller in angst.

"What on earth is so important that you needed to interrupt me doing my own research?" Izzian whined, following in the usual footsteps of Enot, the well-known whiner.

"First of all, I think it's incredibly funny of you to refer to your lazy afternoon gaming sessions and play dates with your friends as "research" and secondly, the problem I need to discuss with you is serious."

Izzian's distaste of Enot's insulting words was palpable. The boy crossed his shoulders and stubbornly refused to speak.

Enot, in a rush to get his point across, blurted, "Have you forgotten that I have so far been unable to contact any being on Klesia or Klesia Moon Prime? Are you so caught up in the gossip of Sudden Bluff and your online battles that you've forgotten about our home possibly disappearing?"

Izzian stared abashedly at the floor, saying nothing.

"Look, I'm not trying to make you feel bad. It's easy to get all caught up with your Goodwill Project. Normally, that would be a good thing. Unfortunately, I'm getting more worried and frustrated every day," Enot paused, giving Izzian time to soak up all he had said.

"You're right. I started feeling so...so...human that I started to forget about being Klesian. Is Klesia okay, Enot? Are my parents okay?" Suddenly, all the problems from home started popping up in Izzian's mind, things he had tried to forget. "I guess I thought there was nothing I could do from earth, so I tried to forget about it all."

"I really can't say if everything is okay, Izzian. Like I said, I'm growing more concerned by the day, with each unanswered communication," Enot said with worry.

"What about Gala? Does she know? Has she been able to contact anyone?" Izzian perked up.

"I...don't know. It's strange that she hasn't mentioned anything. She's really caught up in her work at the mental hospital. Gala thinks this old lady at the home, they call Able Mabel Jesset, is a Firithian. Imagine that, an enormous Firithian pretending to be a little old lady."

Izzian had met Able Mabel Jesset one afternoon when running errands for Gala and he did see something strange in the old lady. He chalked it up to the fact that Mabel _was_ a patient in a mental hospital, and might just be crazy.

Enot whispered, "What I have to tell you must be kept secret from everyone, especially Gala. It's not that I don't trust her, it's just that...I don't trust her."

Izzian was beginning to feel a certain kinship with the Glotfish as his mouth was continually hanging open in surprise.

"Close your mouth, Izzian. Gala has been acting strange for the past few weeks. She's rarely home and when she is, she avoids me like crazy. I can't put my finger on it, but it's as if she's trying to distance herself from me."

Izzian had tried to distance himself from Enot on several occasions and thought it wasn't that strange. He trusted Gala and decided to speak to her soon to figure out what had been bothering her.

"You need to talk to her, Enot. She's part of the team and she's smart. Maybe she could help you figure out why our communications are going unanswered."

"She's got something brewing, Izzian. She's not the same Gala Klowosky that boarded the Gratified Speed 1213, I'm telling you."

Izzian ignored the negative, paranoid words of Enot the whiner. "What can we do, Enot? We have to figure out how to contact another enlightened species-someone else out in space. Someone has to be able to fly to Klesia and figure out what's going on," Izzian said.

Enot nodded in agreement. "You're right. It seems like all interstellar communication has been stopped, though. Maybe it has something to do with Zelph Elegueria and his anti-CCU group. Gleestix, I hope Klesia is not at war or something. I'm so worried, Izzian. Do you recall that my remote control from the Gratified Speed 1213 is a communications beacon? Well, it's not receiving communications either. We are stuck here, with no way to know what is happening out there in space."

Enot was a scientific man and a very serious one at that, so Izzian was frightened by Enot's worry. But Izzian's thought patterns ran differently.

"Enot I think it's going to all work out. Some idiot probably wrecked their SpacePod into some gigantic satellite and smashed it to pieces. Or some dumb college kids pulled the universe's best prank ever," commented Izzian with a touch of awe and slight admiration in his voice.

"I hope so," admitted Enot.

But Enot knew Izzian was ignorant about the mechanics of interstellar communications and barely understood the science behind it. He didn't want to over worry the boy, but the issue was more serious than a few drunken college kids pulling a prank.

"We could be stuck on earth, you know," said Enot mildly, gauging Izzian's reaction. "If we can't get in touch with Comet Central Station, we can't receive our coordinates and if that happens, we can't pilot the ship. Moreover, we may not have a home to go to. Our planets might have disappeared for all we know."

Izzian finally understood the complexity of the situation. It was obviously a bigger problem than he'd thought; bigger than not being able to send or receive Freemails or checking out funny GoobTube videos; bigger than missing out on chats and downloadable movies.

"Stuck on earth?" Izzian said, bewildered. He let the idea float around in his head and couldn't decide exactly how he felt about that. In some cases, it would be a tragedy to never go home again. In other ways, being a fulltime earthling would be okay.

If he remained on earth, he and Eliza could always be friends. He'd never have to say goodbye to her or Paksha and he could explore the entire planet.

On the other hand, he'd never see his ortnots again; never feel the soft, cottony dirt of his home planet on bare feet; never publically show his true form; and never get to be flustered by Thilillian Yangsley ever again. All of those "never's" were unacceptable to the boy and he vowed to do everything in his power to help Enot figure out how to fix things.

"Can we fix it Enot? What can we do?" Izzian had never been more devoted to a scientist or an elder than he was to Enot at that moment. "Is there a way to contact Klesia? Can we find a way to get home?"

Enot hitched his shoulders and said, "I don't know, Izzian. I simply do not know."

***

~~BRAINWAVES FROM YARN~~

Oh, how the plot does deliciously thicken. Izzian could never have imagined being stuck on earth for the rest of his life. He was also confused by Enot not trusting Gala. She always seemed to be on Izzian's side and therefore vicariously on Enot's side. They were a team, after all, but strange things had been happening in the universe and Enot was skittish about anything unusual at the moment.

It seems that Enot cannot contact anyone outside of earth. You see, any Klesian stationed on another planet for a Goodwill Project sends all messages directly to Klesia. Klesia is the hub of all incoming and outgoing messages. Even if Enot wanted to send a Freemail all the way to The Lagrinia System, his words would go to Klesia first. Then the Freemail would be sent onto whichever Lagrinian planet it was meant for.

That way, all interstellar communiques are checked. Seems a little cloak and dagger-ish to me, but it prevents someone from trying to plot against Klesia. Enot simply lacks the tools to send deeper signals into outer space.

I suppose Leon could help, but that's another story all together. But first, let's talk about Signal and Muriel Minor, Spokespeople for the Fester Tail Tribe of SpacePod Yarn.

It seems I have formally given my permission and invited a Fester Tail Tribe to inhabit my SpacePod. Apparently, writing a letter constitutes communication and I have been tricked into communicating with the Fester Tail tribe. And as everyone knows, once you communicate with a Fester Tail Tribe, they'll never leave, until they are good and ready.

Remembering the aggravation of scuttling through the skies trying to avoid the infestation and seeing how I was tricked into the invitation, I was quite taken aback when I eventually met the little people. It was, I must admit, a pleasant surprise.

They are a fascinating people; obviously fun-loving and intelligent, those Fester Tails. If anyone should infest Leon, I am glad it's them.

I couldn't have asked for a more industrious tribe of Festers, either. Everywhere I look, my SpacePod is clean. The little folk have dusted every nook and every cranny on this ship and it behooves me to think it's all due to the Fester Tail Tribe of SpacePod Yarn. Trust me when I say that Leon despises cleaning, or any other sort of chore he considers menial, and I haven't dusted in years. That leaves only the Fester Tails.

I have met the tribe's master mechanic and he has sworn his fealty to me, Lady Yarn they call me. That little Fester Tail goes by the name Hulla Baloo and he is fast becoming my bestie. Each night as I sleep, Hulla Baloo erases my wrinkles, and I have oh so many of those.

He waits for me to fall asleep and he gently applies tiny clamping devices all over my prune-like face. Hulla spreads apart the wrinkles and massages some Fester Tail organic wrinkle cream into each crevice. I awaken in the morning looking younger than I have in years!

Hulla is slightly egotistical regarding his tribe and his people, but I can't blame him for that. He swore vengeance on Leon because Leon told Hulla he was, "...a pint-sized punk, tinkering around in the bowels of the ship, wreaking pint-sized havoc." I sure hope Leon and the Fester Tails come to some sort of an understanding.

Leon is jealous. All of my appliances are working better than they ever have and I swear that my ship is even running faster, no thanks to Leon. I have a feeling my SpacePod is not happy about having his body colonized by the little people, and his childish antics are not appreciated. He's ignoring me and refuses to follow even the simplest commands.

Last night, I told Leon to transmit a signal to Klesia Moon Prime. His only job was to continuously transmit that signal, try to communicate with any other ships in the vicinity, and scope around Klesia looking for any abnormalities.

Leon refused. I'll let him pout for a little while, but eventually he'll have to get over it. This is no time to be a baby because Izzian needs his help! I've told Leon that a Compassionate Citizen of the Universe would take action and overlook any jealousy toward the Fester Tail tribe, but he doesn't seem to care.

Without Leon's cooperation, we have no chance of helping Izzian and Enot figure out what has happened with Klesia and the Moon Prime. Muriel and I have had several deep conversations and we both agree that if Leon doesn't stop sulking about, we may have to manually override his IBS, his Internal Brain System- not to be confused with a certain identically abbreviated malady on earth. Leon would never forgive me for that, but these may be dire circumstances.

Signal, Muriel's husband, has also shown himself to be quite logical in his summations. They have both convinced me that eventually I need to make a voyage to earth; If only to stop the evil snow cone man from rotting out the kids' teeth. Who would have thought that the Fester Tails would be so weird about dental hygiene?

***

CHAPTER 20

*MIDDLE SCHOOL BLUES*

The summer in Sudden Bluff had passed quicker than any of the kids could have imagined, and too soon school schedules had appeared in the mail. Despite the fact that Izzian was terribly worried about the lack of response from Klesia, he had earth issues that demanded his attention.

Izzian had stopped for a snow cone on his way to meet Paksha and Eliza. They were anxious to compare school schedules. He hoped that he and his earthling friends would share some classes and that they would help him in the strange world of middle school on earth.

Memories of his old Klesian teacher, Mrs. Kleevox, surfaced. She had accidentally referred to middle school on earth as _middle earth_ and he feared for the worst.

Izzian watched in horrified awe as his plascreen flashed terrible images of middle earth; complete with gargoyles, pits of flames and frightening horned creatures. He was so engrossed in the hi-def images on the plascreen; Izzian was caught unaware when the twins sabotaged him as he walked down the path.

Again, working in an obscenely orderly tandem fashion, Lucas ended up knocking Izzian to the ground and Link put the icing on the cake, which was actually the snow cone on the head. Izzian lay on the ground, stunned, once again wearing his snow cone as a hat.

Orange Herbert Sherbet was not particularly Izzian's favorite flavor and he didn't like tasting it running down his sweaty, salty skin. Tired of being the target of twin rage, Izzian decided to take a stab at negotiating a peace treaty with the bombastic boy duo. _This must stop, he thought_.

"Listen, is there any way I can make you two clones stop attacking me? I am honestly sick and tired of having a sticky snow cone dribbling down my head. There has to be something you two want from me."

One of the twins, Izzian guessed it was Lucas, due to the fact that Lucas seemed especially brutal, said, "Sure there is. Leave town. Then my little bro and I will stop torturing you. Or, you could just stop hanging out with that loser Eliza and come be our minion...I mean our friend."

The other twin, Link, turned to his brother and said, "Stop calling me your _little_ brother. I'm only seven minutes younger than you and you act like you are so much more mature than me. Cut it out, Lucas!"

Lucas did not like to be corrected. He got right back in his brother's face, yelling, "You _are_ seven minutes younger than me and I will always be older than you." Lucas started poking Link in the chest and added, "So, quit your complaining, _little bro_!"

The two brothers began scratching each other like alley cats in a brawl and throwing useless punches. They rolled around on the ground, paying no attention to Izzian as they dealt with their own issues as brothers often do.

Izzian decided it was a good time to leave. As he snuck away from the brawling brothers, he actually giggled when he heard one brother say, "I'm gonna tell mom!"

Besides the latest chapter in the book of Lucas and Link, and the chilling reality that middle school was only a few days away, Izzian's main concern was the inability to contact Klesia. Were his people misplaced, or had some terrorist group under the leadership of Zelph Elegueria overtaken the CIC? He couldn't quite get over the fact that he may end up stranded on earth forever if Enot didn't find some answers.

Enot had tried time and again to contact anyone or anything beyond earth but had so far received nothing in return. Suddenly the image of Ojolian and Mirtheea, his Klesian-bound parents, popped into his head. Izzian realized how much he truly loved his ortnots, even though they were always telling him what to do.

He felt childish all of the sudden, for giving his mom and dad such a hard time. What were parents for if they weren't supposed to tell their child how to behave? Izzian promised himself that if he ever got to see his ortnots again, things would be different.

He promised himself that in the future, he'd listen when his father corrected his behavior and he'd take out the trash when his mother asked-the first time. Mirtheea wouldn't have to ask thirty five times. Izzian longed for a simpler time, back when emptying the garbage was the worst of his problems.

After being tortured by the twins, and torturing himself with worries of home, Izzian was happy to see Paksha and Eliza sitting on a tree stump, comparing schedules; happy and...jealous. He didn't understand why he felt that way, but he and Eliza had grown close over the summer and Izzian felt a strong connection to the odd human girl.

Before considering the truth, Izzian saw red and rudely uttered, "Am I interrupting you guys?"

"Of course not. You told us to meet you here. Why would you be interrupting us?" Eliza barked.

Eliza grunted after inspecting Izzian. She noticed the sticky goo plastered on his hair and face. "The twins got you again, huh?" She said shaking her head.

She began wiping away the remaining snow cone juice from Izzian's face with a napkin.

She stuck her finger in her mouth, paused momentarily and said, "Peach Huckleberry Hives?"

"No," Izzian answered with a sulk, "Orange Herbert Sherbet. You weren't even close."

"The twins must be stopped," Paksha exclaimed, raising his fist in the air.

"But how? We need to come up with a plan soon if we ever want to eat a snow cone again, rather than having it running down Izzian's head," Eliza said as she offered a fresh napkin to the sticky boy.

"By the way," added Eliza, "looks like you and I get to suffer through Mrs. Maddlington's class together. Lucky us."

Izzian reviewed Eliza's schedule and was relieved to see that they shared two classes- Maddlington's English class and Mr. Buckner for Science.

"Oh man," said Eliza, "you'll just love Mr. Buckner's class. He calls the kids in his class _Buckner's Buckaroos_ and has this whole western theme going. It's quite sad really. The man needs a life and a wife. "

Paksha agreed, "I will join you both in Bucker's class. There's nothing worse, really, than starting off the morning watching a grown man wearing a ten gallon cowboy hat, saying _well, howdy there pardners_." Paksha rode an imaginary horse and swung a pretend rope around his head, until the imaginary horse bucked him off. He ended up rolling on the ground, laughing at his own silly antics.

"What's so bad about this Maddlington lady anyways?" Izzian asked after wiping away tears of laughter. Paksha had a talent for making his friends cry, in a good way.

He knew of a few horrible teachers back home that must be worse, like Mr. Muckleback. Fearful of sitting in the dreaded man's classroom, students had been known to falsify their school schedules to get out of Muckleback's class.

Some had been successful for a day or two, but eventually they all got caught and sent to detention. If they survived a Klesian detention, they reported directly to Mr. Muckleback's class. That man never took it easy on a student who'd tried to beat the system.

"You do not want to get on Maddlington's bad side," said Eliza. "She hates kids. It's as simple as that. She's been a teacher at Sudden Bluff Middle School for years. No kid is safe from her wrath, not even Lucas and Link. Get ready for detention, Izzian. Maddlington does not mess around."

He was not scared of earth detention. Paksha and Eliza looked worried, but Izzian didn't believe the Maddlington lady could compare to the evil Mr. Muckleback, either.

On Klesia, kids were terrified of Muckleback, the Advanced Particle Replacement teacher, and for good reason. Certainly the man was known to send each of his students to detention at least once, and that was bad enough because Klesian detention was a dangerous place. But a student's very existence could be placed at risk in Muckleback's class. Mr. Muckleback had surreptitiously turned a kid into a piece of cabbage for simply talking in class.

The rumor went as such: The class was studying Universal Vegetable Reconversion one afternoon and some unlucky student had spoken out of turn. The next day, a piece of wilted cabbage sat at his desk, a sure sign of displeasure on Mr. Muckleback's part. The kid was never heard from again.

All the students were certain Mr. Muckleback had done it, but Izzian figured most of that was unreliable gossip. Mr. Muckleback was only a Flitter from the Famen Constellation after all, and Izzian didn't understand how anyone could be scared of a glowing fairy-type creature.

Even so, Mr. Muckleback had every student in Klesia fearful of misbehaving, due to the cabbage incident. Reputation could be a powerful weapon for a teacher, Izzian had learned.

How could Mrs. Maddlington be any worse than Mr. Muckleback? Of course, Izzian couldn't really share his tale of the woeful Mr. Muckleback, because to do so would require giving up his true form and purpose. He was tired of lying to his friends about his identity.

"Izzian," prodded Eliza. "Where have you been? You must've been daydreaming again. I was telling you about Maddlington's third period English class and how one kid's entire head of hair turned white from fear, and you were off in la-la land. What's up?"

"Oh, I was just thinking of this teacher back home. All the kids were scared of him too, but when it came down to it, he was just a...a...man? I mean, his bark was probably worse than his bite, if you know what I mean," he added.

"Sure, but Mrs. Maddlington's bite is vicious. She's probably actually bitten someone at one point or another," Eliza said with certainty while Paksha enthusiastically nodded his head in agreement.

"I am working on a theory that Maddlington is an alien in human disguise," said Paksha, nodding his head again, causing his big lofty curls to revolve into mysterious shapes.

Izzian cringed at his words. He wished Paksha had never brought up the A-word, _alien_.

"She's really quite strange," added Paksha.

"Well, strange is irrelevant. I mean what if I had, say, green skin or something. Would that mean I'm strange too?" Izzian asked, testing the waters.

"Hate to tell you Izzy, but your skin does have a green hue to it, especially when you get nervous or angry. When the twins were attacking you I swore your cheeks looked like two pieces of broccoli," said Eliza, to Izzian's horror.

Paksha nodded his head again, adding, "More like a celery tone."

Izzian thought Paksha looked like a bobble-head toy with oversized glasses, with all the agreeing he was doing. But Izzian didn't mention that. _Courtesy is contagious, he thought._

"Well, thanks. That's just great I guess," said Izzian worriedly. _Am I that obvious?_

"No worries, Izzy," Paksha added. "I'm from India and people are always mistaking me for a Spanish guy or a Native American. They don't really think I'm strange, they just don't know. They are uneducated about my heritage, my mother would say." Paksha had ended his comments with a spot-on imitation of his mother's Indian accent.

Izzian could say no more, afraid that his secret was already too exposed. Pretending to be an earthling was a pretty big secret in Izzian's mind, and he knew neither Paksha nor Eliza would easily believe such a thing. Hiding his true identity was only part of his troubles.

To fix the problem of the missing Klesians, Enot had suggested requesting help from the secret aliens already hiding on earth. Unfortunately, Izzian had no idea how to go about finding any.

He could use the help of his friends, but he couldn't ask-not ever. He certainly could not walk up to Mrs. Aloris J. Maddlington and ask her if she was a secret alien, just based on Paksha's observations. He wished he could ask for help.

Melancholy overtook the little alien and his shoulders slumped forward. Paksha and Eliza had his back, time and again, but he still had to lie. Small conversations with friends were becoming too stressful for fear of slipping up.

It was too much of a burden not to be able to share the cabbage incident and Mr. Muckleback. It was too hard to keep making excuses when he accidentally blurted out some Klesian word such as Simbiots.

Not only that, but Eliza hated liars. She had a serious problem being lied to and Izzian lied to the girl every second of every day.

Paksha's mobile phone jingled in his pocket, awaking Izzian from his miserable musings. The ringtone sang of some prince that was seeking a town called Bel Air.

Izzian had never heard of the prince, the song, or the town. Paksha danced along with his ringtone before answering the call, rapping something about _whistling for a cab_.

"Hullo?" Paksha said, finally answering the call.

The music stopped and Izzian never did find out if the prince made it to his throne.

Any person within a five mile radius could hear the voice of Paksha's shouting mother on the other end of the call. "Okay mom. I am on my way, and no I didn't forget to take out the trash...or clean my room...or wash my clothes."

Paksha signaled that he had to leave while Izzian and Eliza chuckled at the poor boy, walking away, trying to get a single word into a one-sided conversation. Izzian missed his mom and wondered if Eliza missed hers as well, but kept quiet on the subject for fear of being smacked.

He'd learned over the weeks to allow Eliza to gradually speak about painful memories, and not to pound the girl with questions. And if he did pound the girl with questions, she would more than likely pound him with her fists. Dismissing his desire to discuss mothers, he decided it was a nice evening to walk a girl home.

The two meandered through the trees, headed for Eliza's back porch. Izzian wanted to reach for her hand, but thought better of it.

Instead, he walked Eliza up to her door and said, "See you tomorrow?"

"Yea, weirdo. Of course I'll see you tomorrow," Eliza responded.

She grabbed Izzian's hand for a shake, but faked it and proceeded to smear the front of Izzian's shirt with dirt and leftover Orange Herbert Sherbet snow cone.

He was momentarily irritated that Eliza had ruined the moment. He was surprised that it irritated him, too. Had he hoped for something more, perhaps a kiss? It was a startling revelation to the boy and it made him feel lightheaded.

Izzian soon forgot about his messy shirt. He headed home in the fading twilight, feeling like he was a Flitter, floating through the Famien Constellation.

***

~~YARN GETS SASSY~~

Izzian and Eliza both have the feared Mrs. Aloris J. Maddlington for English class in the coming school year. I wonder if the woman is anything like Klesia's scary Mr. Muckleback. Izzian should know soon enough, because school always begins; like the earth always rotates and the seasons always end. It's inevitable, just like homework.

Izzian may never experience the wrath of Mrs. Maddlington, though. If Enot figures out a way to find the missing Klesians, the little pretend family may have to leave. They have a bigger Glotfish to fry, and a missing planet is a pretty big Glotfish.

The most important occurrence since we last spoke is the fact that Leon, my beloved yet cranky SpacePod, has made peace with the Fester Tail Tribe. Signal and Muriel Minor, in all of their wisdom, have decided to rename their tribe. Instead of calling themselves Fester Tail Tribe of SpacePod _Yarn_ , they shall now be known as the Fester Tail Tribe of SpacePod _Leon._

Leon couldn't be happier about the change. He has moved past his jealousies and become part of our group. Thanks to our smart little Fester Tail couple, Signal and Muriel Minor, Leon is now conducting full scale investigations and systematic scans of the space fields near Klesia and its moon. Soon enough, the scans will reveal what has happened in the far away universe where Izzian's home planet resides.

While Leon completes his research, I'll zip on down to earth. I find myself in an unusual position. I'm not quite sure how to go about it all. In all of my years watching younglings and their stories unfold, I've never felt the need to make myself known. I'm not sure how events will transpire on earth, but I'm willing to try anything once.

For my first stop, The Fester Tails urge me to visit the evil snow cone maker Laddie, and stop his reign of sugar-filled terror. I still find it so strange that such an advanced people as the Fester Tails should care so much about a random sugar peddler on earth, but there you have it.

I'm afraid our communications may end for a short while, but Leon and the Fester Tails have everything under control. I hope. Very soon, old Yarn will be down on earth, enforcing Signal and Muriel's strict dental hygiene and teen health regulations...odd as that may be... and meeting our little green boy, Izzy.

Look out, earth! Here comes Yarn.

***

CHAPTER 21

*THE ROOMMATE*

Izzian had been asleep for hours when he became aware of an adult argument brewing downstairs. He was only half awake, and the voices were intermingling with his dream. In his awesome dream, Izzy was still on Klesia Moon Prime, playing the popular simulation game called _Slime Craft._

Within the game, a player could build an entire city by mining for Slime. Along the way, he had battled a few Chulupean ninja's and was in the middle of destroying a horde of Pleverts that had decided his simulated bedroom was the perfect place for a nest.

For each rodent-like flying Plevert Izzian destroyed, another would immediately take its place, but the boy in the dream kept hacking away. Suddenly, the screams and shrieks of the dying rodents grew silent. He paused in his killing spree and listened to the Pleverts speak with the voices of his pretend parents Enot and Gala.

Izzian found himself within the plane of existence between wakefulness and dreaming, where the two worlds merged into one. Nothing else could explain the fact that a Plevert sounding exactly like Enot was expressing worries about "freaking out the neighbors." There was also no other reason why his pretend mother, Gala, responded by saying, "No one will see or notice," as she lisped certain words with her Plevert-like buck teeth.

Once he was fully awake, and the images of the talking Pleverts had dissipated, Izzy realized he was hearing a real argument between the real Enot and Gala.

Without even the hint of a Plevert-toothed lisp, Izzian heard Gala say, "I'm not asking your permission, Enot. It's already done. She's living with us for the rest of our time on earth, and then I'm taking her home."

The boy crept out into the hallway and peered down the landing, attempting to better hear the ongoing argument. The curved stairway on which he sat had some perfect hidey-holes where Izzian could listen more closely without being detected.

He needn't have worried about not hearing the discussion, because Enot had begun to shout. "I'm not debating the fact that she's here! You should have asked me first! Is this what's been causing you to act so sneaky and crazy lately, Gala? Is this the reason that you have been avoiding me?"

Whatever they were arguing about, Enot didn't seem to grasp the fact that most people were experts at avoiding him. Izzian couldn't blame Gala for keeping her distance. Enot was a fellow that begged for evasion, always nitpicking and whining about this or that, and Izzian felt the sudden urge to defend Gala's actions. Only, he had no idea of what her actions were. He wondered what Gala had done to make Enot angry enough to have a heated shouting match in the middle of the night.

Probably left the cap off the toothpaste, Izzy considered.

"Keep your voice down," Gala demanded. "She might hear you."

She? Izzian wondered. What about me? I suppose my elders aren't worried about waking me.

The elders began mumbling, too low for the boy to hear. He crept down the staircase and hid in the dark hallway between the kitchen, where Gala was currently pointing out Enot's shortcomings using creative expletives, and the living room.

Through a crack in the swinging doors that led to the kitchen-turned-warzone, Izzian could see Enot's face clearly, and the elder was clearly upset.

Gala had calmed down and was attempting to pacify Enot as well. "Look, Enot, it's already done. There is no going back. I snuck her out of the mental hospital and I can't just take her back. Mrs. Jesset can and will live in our basement," Gala said, plaintively.

When it dawned on Izzian that his pretend mother had stolen a mental patient and stuck her in the basement of 1313 Butterscotch Road, he finally understood Enot's ire. For a change, Izzian agreed with Enot and did not care to have a committed lunatic residing below the floors of his home.

Izzian was determined to make his voice heard. 1313 Butterscotch Road was his home too and he did not want to go to bed each evening afraid of being hacked to death by a crazy person in the middle of the night.

The boy stepped forward, about to push open the shuttered doors to the kitchen and speak his opinion, when a very large, very strange hand suddenly rested upon his shoulder, and another touched his arm. He could feel the weight of the meaty paw as it grasped his much smaller, obviously weaker arm, stopping the boy in his tracks.

A sudden realization came to light. If anyone happened to dispute the fact that a human was incapable of being scared "half to death," Izzian would call them a liar. His heart must have skipped three or four beats in terror as adrenaline coursed through his veins. He was powerless to screech for help and could not muster the courage to run. Enot and Gala were so close, though.

Slowly, Izzian turned his head, trying to determine what body was attached to the enormous hand that rested on his arm. Gala had mentioned the name of Mrs. Jesset, so Izzian hoped that he would only see the form of a little old lady, albeit a mentally unstable little old lady. An old lady he could handle- even one with such meaty, giant hands?

An croak escaped his throat upon the realization that he was looking at the creature's midsection. There was nothing small about this little old lady. Slowly, the frightened boy raised his gaze and continued searching for a face, until his head could tilt back no more.

Finally, Izzian saw an ending to the horrifically massive monster. Since the ceiling was not built high enough to allow the creature to stand upright, its head was bent forward at an awkward angle.

He saw her features, and they were female. Her face was larger than four or five normal faces added together, but even in his frightened state, Izzy admired the woman's curly, lush eyelashes as they fluttered, creating a slight breeze.

However, when the creature opened her mouth to speak, Izzian took his cue to faint. Her teeth were the size of dinner plates, and his system simply could not handle the uncommon spectacle of a Firithian in his living room. Sounding similar to a three year old child, Izzian screamed. The last thing he recalled was falling into the giant arms of the very creature that had frightened him into a fainting spell in the first place.

When the woozy boy came to, he realized someone had moved him to the couch in the living room. Looking to his right, he smiled at a blurry version of Gala. To his left, Enot hovered, fanning him with a book.

Still unsteady and slurring his words, Izzian said, "There was a Firithian in the living room." Only, it came out more like, "Fair weather Firifian riving room."

"Shush," Gala urged him. "Don't be scared, Izzy. You only saw Mrs. Able Mabel Jesset in her true form."

Suddenly, the boy snapped awake, "It was real?" he asked, looking wide-eyed around the room.

As if in response to his question, the ground shook, pictures threatened to clatter off the walls, and the windows rattled in their frames. A giant Firithian woman had slowly walked from the kitchen with a glass of water. The glass, however, was not carried in the meaty hands that Izzian had seen a few moments ago. Mrs. Jesset had unfurled her delicate tentacles and gently placed the glass to Izzy's lips, offering him a sip without spilling a drop.

They all watched in wonderment as Mrs. Jesset's undulating extensions placed the glass upon the table, directly on a coaster, thinking they were quite lucky to have witnessed such a rare spectacle

"A Firithian's tentacles are one of the most extraordinary appendages in the universes," admitted Enot, who had apparently accepted the idea of Able Mable Jesset residing in his home.

"Yes," agreed Izzian. "But why is she here? And, how is it that a Firithian was living in a mental hospital in Sudden Bluff, Oklahoma?"

"Izzian, you are surprisingly sensitive _and_ ignorant for an enlightened alien," Enot stated, expressing his normal hypercritical opinions. "It's as if you've never seen a being from another planet. I mean, for a little green boy from such a cultivated place as Klesia Moon Prime, you seem to be shocked by the littlest thing."

"The _littlest_ thing?" Izzian practically shouted. "Are you telling me that if you ran into a Firithian...on earth, in the middle of the night in your living room, you would have simply extended your hand for a shake?" he said with indignation.

"Enough!" Gala interrupted. "I should have told you, Izzian. I should have told you both my plans, but I didn't. And now she's here and she's going to be living with us."

Gala sighed and said, "Izzian, meet Mrs. Able Mabel Jesset, formerly of Firithia. Mabel will be living in the basement next to the lab, in her _true_ form. I wouldn't dare make her transform back into human after all she's gone through. Mabel will help us try to contact the Klesians. She's an asset to the family."

Izzian did feel shame at his reactions to a fellow alien. He'd probably offended the woman, and she seemed perfectly agreeable, despite her size. Endeavoring to be a more sensible Compassionate Citizen of the Universe, Izzian added, "I'm Sorry I fainted from looking at you. I was just...surprised. I didn't expect to see a Firithian on earth, in my living room."

He reached out to shake Mabel's giant hand. Instead, the Firithian woman extended a tentacle. It was an honor for a Firithian to offer a tentacle in greeting, a deed that did not escape Izzian's attention.

He also found some humor in the situation. Mrs. Jesset was a Firithian, and Gala had been right all along. So had Paksha, it seemed. Too bad he couldn't tell his curly-headed friend the truth.

After proper introductions were made, Gala went on to explain why she had stolen a mental patient from the hospital. Her plight to save Mrs. Jesset began when Gala had first arrived on earth and started her job at the Sudden Bluff Home for Mental Health.

She'd been outraged by the doctor who had claimed it was easier to give Mrs. Jesset drugs than to deal with her problems. Gala, angry at the doctor's admissions and lazy attitude, had stalked out of his office and into the room of Mrs. Jesset, who was languishing away in human form.

"I was so angry by the time I got to Mabel's room, I had turned green!" Gala announced. "I looked at my face in the mirror and, noticing my skin was not quite human looking, I panicked. But, Mabel didn't say a word. She showed me an old picture of a large Firithian woman. It was at that moment that I knew- Mabel was not human. I _had_ to sneak her out of the hospital."

Gala went on to explain how she and Mabel got to know each other by planning an escape. "It was a surprisingly easy escape. I suppose security was lax because most people wouldn't think of stealing a mental patient. Finally, night before last, the storm knocked out the power, disabling the security systems. Mabel and I took our chance and snuck out of the hospital. I gave her a transformation shot and well...that's when I told Enot what I had done. Mabel's retransformation back into Firithian was difficult."

Enot rolled his eyes and said, "Yes. Although perhaps you should have considered that a Firithian stuck in human form for years might have difficulty switching back. I am glad you came to me and I'm glad I was able to help with the transformation. Are you feeling better Mrs. Jesset?" Enot yelled as though Mrs. Jesset was hard of hearing.

Izzian once again considered mentioning to Enot that he behaved like a crude Glotfish. With her enormous ears, Izzian imagined Mrs. Jesset had the ability to hear a Guzzy Gnat from a hundred miles away, wearing earmuffs.

Apparently, Mrs. Jesset was feeling better than ever, and she did not stir from Enot's shouts. Her huge head rested against the wall and the floor vibrated from her snores.

"Poor Mabel," Gala whispered. "She had convinced herself that she was actually a human."

"Let's try to get some sleep, too," Enot said, gently pulling Gala's attention away from Mabel's past struggles.

In a surprisingly thoughtful manner, Enot pulled a king-sized comforter from the closet, draping it over the sleeping form of Mabel. Both Izzy and Gala went back for another two blankets since the first one only covered a small section of the real estate that was Mrs. Able Mabel Jesset.

***

~~LEON ROARS~~

Leon the SpacePod here, filling in for Yarn. As she traipses around Sudden Bluff, shopping and playing tourist, the Fester Tails and I have been keeping an eye on Izzy and his friends and trying to save Klesia at the same time. No big deal. We have much to discuss, and I am hardly such an accomplished story weaver as Yarn, so bear with me.

Yes, much has happened in the recent life of Izzian Klowosky and all who associate with him. First off, Mrs. Able Mabel Jesset turned out to be a Firithian, trapped on earth in human form. It took a Compassionate Citizen such as Gala to recognize that Able Mabel was not mental, and just needed an alien shoulder to cry on. So, the little pretend family on Buttscratch Road must adjust to living with an enormous Firithian roommate. I'm sure they'll be fine.

Secondly, through my own methods of observation, I have discovered that the evil twins, Lucas and Linkus, have stolen Eliza's precious journal. Paksha has vowed to steal it back by sneaking into the twins' backyard and retrieving the private writings and poetry of Eliza Allready. Eliza and poetry hardly seem to fit in the same puzzle together, but who am I to judge? I am only a half-organic, so I'll leave the judging up to the more competent beings.

Paksha's flying squirrel-like attributes will come in handy for climbing through the treetops and over the fence unnoticed during the attempted robbery. Since the twins never lock their back door and the journal belonged to Eliza in the first place, he's rationalized that it won't really be breaking and entering, only entering and retrieval. We shall see if Izzy has to post bail anytime soon.

Izzian wasn't sure if he should mention the alien writings he had seen in the girl's journal or not. I could tell the boy was feeling all muddled and confused, trying to keep his stories straight. I believe he should have told Eliza the truth the first night they met, and the Fester Tails agree.

Now, for the most important announcement of all- I, Leon the SpacePod, have been tricking Izzian since the day he climbed out of the Gratified Speed 1213. Remember when Izzian's plascreen had gone rogue, and developed a sense of humor? I'll admit it was my doing.

Recall the high-def videos and humorous verbal abuse that have plagued the boy for months and caused him many a headache? Yes, twas Leon the SpacePod who played various scenes via Izzy's plascreen; such as a little green man being roasted on a fire and the flaming pits of middle earth. I have been patched in to the boy's plascreen the entire time he's been on earth and I've seen it all.

I have also saved Izzian's life. One day, the silly Klesian boy nearly walked right off the side of the bluff. If I hadn't stepped in and warned him, Izzy would have been nothing more than a stain at the bottom of a cliff. I suppose if I ever told him the truth, he might thank me for that, but I don't plan on admitting to my own spying anytime soon.

I also played a part in the great mental patient escape, unbeknownst to Gala, who believed a storm had caused the power outage, allowing her to easily sneak Mrs. Jesset out of the hospital. Leon and the Festers know the truth. I disabled every camera and alarm that night.

For some reason, Signal and Muriel Minor were quite keen on having Able Mabel escape the clutches of the evil doctors of the Sudden Bluff Home for Mental Health, but they haven't bothered to tell Leon why. Come to think of it, I haven't asked. Fester Tails are not fond of discussing the finer points of their strategies and schemes.

Well, thanks for listening to the ramblings of an old SpacePod. The Fester Tails have sent out invitations to certain aliens in the area and soon enough, our SpacePod will be filled with beings all working together to fix the Klesian catastrophe.

I hope that Yarn doesn't get angry when I tell her I've helped Gala steal a mental patient. Is it difficult to hide a Firithian in the basement, I wonder?

***

CHAPTER 22

*WHOOSPER TREES AND WINGS*

Izzian had made it home. He stepped from Gratified Speed 1213 and looked around Comet Central Station. There were no happy stewards there to welcome him, no apriguavo vendors peddling their sweet slushies, and no sounds, other than the echoes of silence.

His ortnots weren't there to greet him either. Izzian was alone.

He kept walking, taking slow steps. In the distance, he heard a drumbeat. It was a savage sound, a beat like nothing Izzian had ever heard before.

He found himself standing in the middle of an endless grove of dark, sinister Whoosper Trees, the trees of his nightmares.

The trees sensually undulated to the pounding of the distant drums. They writhed and beckoned Izzian to come closer; their pinchers glistening and deadly. He shivered as the first branch tentatively reached for his hand, almost petting his skin.

The Whoosper Trees became frantic as the drumbeat escalated, its rhythm growing furious.

Izzian felt terribly alone and frightened. He had to find another Klesian. Suddenly, the Whoosper Trees sensed that Izzian was trying to leave. Their gentle touches became forced. The trees insisted he remain.

They pinched him painfully, pulling his clothes, ripping holes until they hit skin. The pounding of the drums hurt his ears and he felt blood dripping from the wounds. He cried and ran from the trees, breaking off several pinchers, some still attached to his body.

Then the stampede began. Massive cows, the size of elephants, plowed down the ramp of the comet, their thunderous hooves denting the strong metal.

Izzian panicked as the herd tumbled towards him. With eyes glowing and steam flying from their flaring nostrils, the psychotic cows rammed the boy, sucking him into the herd.

"Help," he screamed as the herd swallowed him, carrying him away upon their backs.

He could feel the wiry muscles of the animal beneath him, straining to explode through the sweaty fur. He realized they were no normal cows; at least they were not from earth, or any other place he knew.

"Please help," Izzian screamed again and again, but the ferocious animals wouldn't let him go and no one answered his pleas.

Desperate for help, he sought out a crowd of people in the distance. As the herd drove him closer, Izzian knew he'd find no relief. Clustered together like old garbage, they were only Klesian skeletons, dust and bones, grinning faces without animation.

Suddenly he was thrown from the raging herd. He landed painfully on the ground. He felt the wetness of a snow cone perched atop his head, and looked up to see Reddle F. Girth looming above him.

"Help, please help," she said mockingly.

Reddle's face was a distorted image with exaggerated features. Her Grotanoan-like wings bobbed up and down.

Reddle's wings had each grown a face and as Izzian looked more closely, he could make out the shape of pimple-faced Lucas on one wing and Link on the other.

"Help me, help me. I'm such a loooooser..." the evil twin faces sang in unison as Reddle cackled in wicked delight.

Suddenly Reddle and her wings flapped close to Izzian's ear and she spat out, "I'll get you, you stupid boy. I will kill you...Izzian...Izzian..." Her revolting voice echoed through his brain, causing him to sob uncontrollably.

"Izzian," yelled a voice from outside of his head, "Wake up!"

Izzian groggily opened his eyes and saw Gala and Enot sitting on the side of his bed, shaking his shoulders and looking concerned. A giant towered over his pretend parents, ready to eat them.

He flinched in fear, positive he was still living a nightmare. He longed for more simple night time visions filled with Pleverts and slime, but Whoosper Trees, Reddle F. Girth and parent eating giants were without a doubt, the worst possible things to have in a dream.

Thankfully, Izzian was wide awake and the giant was only Mrs. Able Mabel Jesset, their new Firithian roommate.

"Are you okay, kid? That must have been one heck of a nightmare," Gala said as she smoothed Izzian's hair from his sweaty forehead.

"Yea, I could hear you screaming all the way in the basement lab," added Enot.

"Can I get you some water?" Mrs. Jesset bellowed.

Everyone jumped at the booming sound of Mabel's voice and it became clear why the woman chose to be the silent type. Enot resituated his position upon the bed and accidentally brushed against Gala's leg, causing her to flinch. Gala scooted further away from Enot, and then in a flustered state, ran for the door.

"Go back to sleep, Izzy. I'll check on you again in a few hours," Gala said as she quickly exited Izzian's room.

Enot looked annoyed. "What was that all about? I'm not mad about Mrs. Jesset living here, so why is Gala still behaving so strangely?"

"I have no idea," said Izzian, knowing the real truth behind Gala's actions.

Gala had recently shared a secret with Izzian, much to his disgust. At that point, she hadn't mentioned anything about hiding a Firithian in the basement, but she had confessed to being in love with Enot Lewga, as gross as that seemed to the boy.

So far, Enot had accepted the Firithian woman, Able Mabel Jesset, into their home. Enot had questioned Gala's long term plan for hiding a giant Firithian in the basement, right next to his lab. Gala confessed that she hadn't thought that far ahead.

Eventually, realizing the value of Mrs. Jesset's opinions and advice regarding the Klesia problem, Enot agreed with Gala that the old alien woman could not stay locked up in a hospital for the mentally unstable. The help of another alien was priceless to Enot and worth the risk.

So they had all accepted Mrs. Jesset, but Enot had no clue about Gala's second secret. Gala was in love with him. Izzian felt uncomfortable about sharing that part of Gala's secret with Enot; uncomfortable and nauseous.

Izzian sighed, disliking the dramatic adult situation. He was also quite shaken up, thanks to his revolting nightmare featuring Whoosper Trees and the horrible girl known as Reddle F. Girth.

Izzian knew the nightmare was a result of pure stress and worry. He was serious when he said, "Enot, if you think Gala is still acting strange then I suggest you discuss that with Gala. I don't know what to say about her. I do know we _have_ to get in touch with someone on Klesia. They couldn't have just disappeared, Enot. Imagine it, an entire giant planet and its moon simply vanishing? It can't be."

"I know. Mrs. Jesset and I have been working nonstop. Gala's helping, now that she's been truthful with me about the Mrs. Jesset situation. I feel bad for not telling her about the inability to contact Klesia, but I'm in charge of galactic communications and something was going on in Gala's head. She's still weird, though. Gala's still keeping something from me," Enot said. To Izzian's relief, Enot dropped the subject and pulled his thoughts back to the topic at hand.

Enot continued, "I've tried every imaginable way to reach Klesia, without success. I simply do not have the equipment for long-range signals. We have strict rules regarding communications from planets that are ignorant of us, like earth. All messages are first sent from earth to Klesia, so without the ability to contact Klesia...there's nothing I can do," Enot said, as he rubbed his face and mussed his hair in frustration.

"My latest report said a transportation crater was orbiting space just outside of earth. Also, a smaller craft was circling earth's galaxy not too long ago. The only way we can communicate is if one of those orbiting crafts were to send out a signal to us.

"I could lock onto that signal and probably answer them back, but what are the odds? Those ships have no idea we need them to contact us. It seems our only hope is to find any other aliens on earth and ask them for help," said Enot.

"I'm actually thankful to have Mrs. Jesset's help," He added. Mrs. Jesset blushed like a school girl at Enot's compliments, like a very large, oddly shaped, eight and a half foot school girl.

Izzian thought back to his first day on earth when Gala had mentioned the mysterious aliens secretly living on earth. She had said that the Council for Interplanetary Consortiums had aliens stationed everywhere, especially on those planets that were ignorant of the existence of aliens.

She also said that it was nearly impossible to identify and uncover the secret aliens, since they were very good at remaining hidden. But she'd uncovered Able Mabel easily enough, hadn't she?

"Well, try to get some sleep, Izzian. I think I'll go to bed too and get a fresh start in the morning," Enot said, uncomfortably patting Izzian on the head like a dog, not a kid.

_He'll get the hang of it, thought Izzian._ He snuggled into his covers, fluffed his pillow and closed his eyes.

***

CHAPTER 23

*A MIDNIGHT STROLL*

After a few attempts at sleeping, Izzian realized it was useless to close his eyes. Each time Izzian forced them shut, he saw the maniacal herd of charging cattle, and the grotesque form of Reddle F. Girth.

Each time he'd almost drifted to sleep, the stinging bites of the angry Whoosper Trees forced him awake. He could feel their pinchers breaking off, still attached to his skin and he shuddered.

The dream had been so lifelike; he could still recall the foul breeze from Reddle's wings as they popped open, displaying the distorted faces of Lucas and Link screeching insults. It was enough to cause a raging case of insomnia, at least for the rest of that night.

Without further thought, Izzian made a decision and put his decision into action before changing his mind. Quickly, he got dressed, grabbed his ratty old backpack and headed out the door toward Eliza's house.

It was a dark night and Izzian was chastising himself for taking the shortcut through the woods. He wasn't as familiar with the forest paths as he'd have liked and hoped he was on the right trail. Every tree looked like a Whoosper, each shrub seemed to have wings and he could have sworn he heard the moos from a herd of cattle.

At one point, Izzian believed he saw a dark blob appear and then slink away at his approach. He knew an overactive imagination and the residue of a bad dream could wreak havoc on a young man's mind. He trudged on, scolding himself for the decision to wander the woods at midnight after such a terrifying dream.

His ears perked up at an unusual sound. The sound itself wasn't so unusual, but the location was. It sounded like the ice machine at Laddie's SnowCone Haven, just as it finished churning out the ice chips.

It was a sloshing, gurgling type sound and Izzian's arm hairs raised when he heard it the second time. He thought it terribly bizarre to hear a snow cone machine in the forest at midnight, and considered he might still be living a nightmare.

He wanted to pinch himself to see if he was awake, but the glistening pinchers of the Whoosper Trees came to mind. He fought the urge. It was not a good night for pinching.

Enot had made fun of him for being such a frightened alien, but Izzian was unfamiliar with earth. For all he knew, the woods might be filled with terrible creatures waiting for a nice, green-blooded meal to take a nighttime stroll.

Searching for enemies hidden within the black shadows, Izzian tripped and skinned his palm. While on the damp ground, he came face to face with the most beautiful flower he had ever seen. He thought of Eliza and plucked it roughly from the dirt. He inspected his scratched palm. The green blood showed that this nightmare was real, and that his biggest enemy was his own clumsiness.

He was wandering through the forest at night, hearing weird sounds and tripping over tree roots. Thankfully, the roots were not attached to a Whoosper Tree; they were only earth trees, a harmless species. He might go completely mad if a Whoosper Tree showed up on earth in the middle of the forest.

Izzian realized that if he continued behaving so foolishly, he'd never make it out of the forest. The trees were giving him the heebie-jeebies as much as the strange noises and he wanted nothing more than to escape, alive. _Get past your fears or be stuck in the woods all night._

He took his own advice and kept walking. Thankfully, he soon landed at Eliza's backyard. Izzian wondered how the girl would react to him showing up in the middle of the night. At the very least, he'd receive a thump to the head, but if Eliza woke up truly angry, he might get punched in the face.

Izzian gathered his courage. He hoped for the thump, but prepared for the punch.

"Eliza!" Izzian screamed in a whisper as he pelted the girl's second story bedroom window with a small stone.

It was dark and his aim was bad, so Izzian didn't realize her window was already open.

Suddenly a light turned on, casting a long shadow across the lawn. An irritated, sleepy looking face peered out from the window. Unfortunately, before Izzian saw her, he had thrown another rock and inadvertently pelted Eliza in the face.

"Oops," he managed to say before Eliza whisper-screamed back at him.

"What are you doing, you stupid boy?"

"Please don't call me that. Call me anything but that," Izzian said, recalling Reddle F. Girth and her favorite nickname for him.

Eliza backed out of the window. The light in her room switched off and for a moment, the boy thought she had simply gone back to sleep. Soon enough, Eliza appeared at the backdoor and quietly stepped outside.

Before she could yell at him, Izzian spoke quickly, "Please don't hit me or thump me. Don't be mad. I really need to talk to someone...to you."

Eliza exhaled deeply and offered him a seat on her porch step without hitting him or even readying her fingers for a thump.

"Here, I found this in the forest," said Izzian. He offered her the beautiful white flower with the intoxicating scent.

When the boy slipped and fell in the woods, he had noticed the stunning flower growing from the damp forest floor, almost calling to him with its beauty. Izzian hoped the captivating flower might woo the girl first and make his planned confession a little easier to stomach.

"Wow, thanks. Izzian, do you know what this is? It's a Moonflower. You're never supposed to pick a Moonflower in bloom. Remember Black Winny?" Eliza grinned as she noticed the fear in Izzian's eyes.

I'm scared, he thought, but not about The Witch of the Bluff. I'm scared to tell my secret.

For a few minutes, no one spoke. Izzian was struggling to cultivate the perfect confession. It was difficult to reveal that he was an alien and he needed more time to think. However, Eliza was becoming impatient and the hour was late.

She broke the silence. "Go ahead. Tell me. I promise not to hit you, but I can't promise I won't be upset."

"Fair enough," he said and he considered his first words.

He watched Eliza toying with the Moonflower. In the light of the moon, she looked pretty and surprisingly kindhearted. Even with all her harsh words and tough thumps, Izzian realized that he could tell the girl anything. They were friends.

"Eliza, I've been keeping something from you- something important. I've been lying for a while and it's time I fess up. I've hated keeping the truth from you all these months. Eliza, I think you are my best friend and we can tell each other the truth. I can trust you to keep my secrets. Here it goes. Eliza, I am an a--"

A loud cracking sound erupted from the tree line stopping the boy, midsentence, from finally confessing that he was an alien. Izzian and Eliza peered into the night, towards the forest, wondering what was causing the sounds of breaking branches and rustling leaves.

Suddenly, the outline of a person was visible through the trees at the far side of Eliza's yard. It paused at the edge of the forest, searching for something, or for someone.

The figure seemed to notice Izzian and Eliza sitting on the porch. It stepped out of the trees. They gasped in fear as the thing tumbled through the brush and headed towards the porch, emitting breathless calls.

Long, dark, matted hair swirled in the wind, following like a trail of writhing black snakes. The foul creature approached, getting closer by the second.

Eliza examined the Moonflower she held in her hand and suddenly dropped it like a hot coal. They didn't say the name aloud, for fear of it being true, but they both knew they had called upon the wrath of Black Winny, The Witch of the Bluff.

***

~~MEMO FROM YARN~~

Hi! This is Yarn. I am currently unable to come to the Communicator Phalanx right now, since I am probably on earth. I know I said I was too old and too cold to go planet hopping and such, but extreme circumstances call for extreme measures, as the earthlings like to say.

The possible disappearance of a planet, its inhabited moon and the entire Klesian population is indeed an extreme circumstance. Unusual measures must be taken.

Fear not, my lovelies. The Fester Tails and Leon are more than capable of handling things back at my _base camp_. I'd ask you to leave a message after the beep, but I rarely check the machine and you'd be wasting your time. Yarn out.

***

CHAPTER 24

*WHO INVITED HER?*

As the vision of the looming witch-like figure drew nearer, Izzian's first instinct was to find a bed to hide under, but Eliza wasn't moving. Izzian tried to pull her into the house, but she stood transfixed, watching the figure weave through the underbrush.

"Izzian, I think that's a girl and I think someone is chasing her," she said, gazing into the dark backyard.

They couldn't see the stumbling girl's face, but could hear her trying to speak. She was breathless from running, staggering aimlessly, ready to collapse. Her dark hair was a large mass of tangles, twigs and leaves and her face was covered in mud.

Her features were unidentifiable, but Izzian could finally tell it was a female and that she was in trouble. He felt very foolish when he realized the figure was not Black Winny, but a scared girl running from an unseen foe.

"Oh help me!" the staggering girl screamed breathlessly. "They're coming!"

Izzian and Eliza rushed towards the figure as she tripped, stumbled and skidded to a stop, face planted on the ground.

Eliza kneeled, placing a gentle hand on the girl's shoulder, and asked, "Who are you running from? What's happened to you?"

Moaning, the mysterious girl pulled herself up, half standing on wobbling knees. Tearfully, she cried, "Those Simbiots were trying to kill me. We have to run!" Eliza looked to Izzian, confused.

Izzian studied the face of the frightened girl. Underneath the massive head of dark, scruffy hair and beneath the mud covered skin, was a face he easily recognized. The girl had obviously transformed to human, but Izzian knew those eyes. There before him, scared witless, sat his old pal from Klesia, Thilillian Yangsley.

"Thil, is it really you?" asked Izzian as his eyes scanned the girl's face. "It can't be true."

"Izzian?" the dirt covered girl responded in bewilderment.

"Thilillian, you're on earth. What...how...when?" his voice trailed.

Suddenly, with a new burst of energy upon the realization that she had found her old friend Izzian, Thilillian jumped to her feet and planted a big, sloppy, muddy kiss right on the stunned boy's lips.

The two Klesians hugged and cried for what seemed like ages to Eliza. They pulled apart, eying each other; each making sure the other was real.

"Oh it's really you! It's really you," Thilillian cried with joy.

Finally, having seen enough and remembering that the girl was being chased, Eliza interrupted the joyful reunion. "Um, excuse me, but weren't you running from something? Didn't you say something about being chased by Simbiots? How can you be chased by something Izzian supposedly invented?"

Eliza would normally assume the crazy girl was an escaped mental patient, but she already knew the truth. This girl had come to earth. That meant only one thing. She wasn't from earth to begin with.

"Oh gleestix, she's right. We have to leave, now!' Thilillian scrambled towards Eliza's house.

"Who is chasing you, Thil?" Izzian asked.

"I told you, Simbiots...or what do they call them on earth? Twins. Yes, two identical boys are chasing me and if they catch me, who knows what they will do to me," Thil said, looking stronger than before, but still quite frightened.

"Lucas and Link," Eliza and Izzian answered simultaneously, easily recognizing the identity of the _Simbiots_ chasing Thilillian.

"Come on! There's no time. We have to hide! There's an odobo right there. Come on, let's go," Thil was trying to pull at Izzian's hand, urging him to escape into Eliza's house. Izzian remained on the edge of the woods, resolute in his decision.

"No. I'm not running. They have to be stopped," Izzian stated.

Another loud crashing sound arose near the edge of the forest. The group screamed in unison upon hearing the sounds of breaking branches and crunching leaves. Like deer caught in headlights, Izzian and Eliza stood riveted, staring into the dark sinister woods. Thilillian kept trying to drag the two away from the woods to the safety of the house, but they stubbornly remained, too curious to run yet.

Slowly, a dark form emerged from the trees and made its way through the thick underbrush. Thilillian stopped fighting and stood trembling as the form approached.

Paksha suddenly burst forth from the trees, straightening his glasses and dusting old leaves from his t-shirt.

"Why are you screaming at me?" he asked, as if they were all crazy for screeching at a dark figure unexpectedly charging from the sinister forest.

"Oh thank goodness, it's you. What are you doing here Paksha?" Eliza asked.

She thumped Paksha on the head, but was visibly relieved to see her friend rather than Lucas or Link, or especially Black Winny.

"What am I doing here? Ask her," said Paksha as he pointed at Thilillian.

"More importantly, Thilillian what are _you_ doing here?" Izzian asked.

"It's a long story, and those...Simbiot twins are still after me," Thilillian said.

Paksha chimed in, "No, I saw Lucas and Link. They aren't chasing you. They aren't in very good shape, those boys, and they stopped chasing you a while ago. They're hiding in the woods, waiting for you to go back to their tree house."

Eliza, Izzian and Thilillian exhaled upon hearing that the twins wouldn't burst forth from the trees in a killing rage. They would finally be able to relax and take stock of the situation.

"However," Paksha continued, "there is something else out in those woods. Something far more worrisome than a couple of twin bullies. Izzian, Eliza, we need to talk."

"Come on," Eliza directed everyone to a set of lawn chairs in her backyard. "It's time for some answers. I'm totally confused."

Thilillian found her chair and burst into sudden tears. "We need to leave. Why are we all sitting here like bait?"

"Oh, Thil, it's okay now. You're safe. You're among friends," said Izzian, patting the crying girl's hand. Izzian had never seen Thil so scared and unsure.

"Speak for yourself," said Eliza. "What did you mean when you asked this girl why she was on earth? Where could she possibly have come from? What the heck is going on?" Eliza challenged.

"I came from...Izzian's home," Thil said, looking at her fellow Klesian with confusion.

"Las Vegas?" Paksha offered, recalling that Izzian claimed he was originally from Vegas.

Izzian moaned, hearing the sarcastic sound of Paksha's voice. The boy with glasses knew something was askew, other than his glasses. Izzian had a feeling his cover story had been completely blown. Eliza and Paksha needed a full and total explanation.

"You better fess up, green boy. Unless you want me to call the cops, or Homeland Security, or the CIA; whoever handles these types of...situations, you had better start talking. I expect the truth Izzian," Paksha demanded.

He was normally the life of the party type, but Paksha's tone of voice was unsettling. Izzian had never heard his new friend sound so serious. The alien in him grew uncomfortable under the boy's piercing gaze and newfound authority.

Paksha made a show of holding his phone high in the air. Nine-one-one appeared on the backlit screen and Paksha held his finger near the 'dial' button, ready to press it.

He spoke again. "Izzian, you had better think long and hard before you answer. I may not have been born in this country, but I am a citizen. I will protect my people until my dying breath. I will allow you to explain your situation and I may even ask a few questions." Paksha got close to Izzian's face with a dreadfully intimidating expression.

He continued, "But when you are done, I may or may not press this button. If I sense for one second that you are trying to destroy my home or hurt my people, I will not hesitate to turn you in. Izzian Klowosky, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"

Izzian nodded. He was ready to be honest. He actually had little choice in the matter.

"Good," said Paksha, lowering his phone, but not switching it off quite yet. "Now, let's start with the creature in the woods. Remember. You have one chance to convince me, Izzian Klowosky. Did you and your alien friend bring a monster from outer space to earth with the intention of killing humans?"

Izzian gulped at the accusation. He had no idea of any such creature, but would Paksha even believe him if he told the truth?

This confession is not going as planned, he thought.

Izzian looked to Eliza for help. She knew him the best, knew he was no killer, no threat. But Eliza's face looked just as suspicious as Paksha's. Izzian realized he'd find no compassion with Eliza. He'd lied to the girl for way too long.

Izzian took a deep breath and considered his options. He had planned on confessing for a while, but not like this. For once, his fear ran deeper than simply being an undercover alien.

Paksha was ready to call the authorities. Izzian had one chance to explain himself, and if he failed to prove his innocence, he might find himself strapped to an operating table, sliced open and catalogued for the prosperity of the human race.

Better not screw his up, Klowosky.

***

~~LEON,TESTIFY!~~

Unfortunately for all involved, Yarn is still absent from her ship, gallivanting around Sudden Bluff on her earthly vacation. The last time the Fester Tails and I checked up on _Lady_ Yarn, she was in the midst of slurping down an Almond Avocado Aficionado snow cone. Sounds lovely.

If I had an opportunity to partake in one of Laddie's sugary mounds of ice, I'd prefer a Rocket Fuel Raspberry or an Oil-Based Apricot and Olive. But alas, I have never been asked. In the spirit of our dearly loved pilot and using her famous words: Harrumph to all that. Partially organic, partially artificial SpacePods have feelings too.

Ah, Muriel Minor has informed me that I had better get on with my job, but I'd much rather talk about myself. Izzian has finally been exposed as the little green man that he is. Paksha has demanded the truth and Izzy has no choice but to tell it.

Surely Paksha would not dare to call the authorities on Izzian. Without a doubt, his friends would understand the predicament Izzy has been in all summer; never able to mention his home or talk about his pet Slimerot Slinker, unable to mention his favorite Klesian foods or to gossip about annoying Klesian celebrities, and worst of all never able to talk about the fact that he's not human.

All of that is the past, however, and very soon, Eliza and Paksha will know the truth. Let's see if they can handle it.

***

CHAPTER 25

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

Truth be told, Izzian was ready to admit that he was from another planet. He just hoped that Paksha knew him well enough to trust him one last time.

"Here goes," Izzian said. Paksha waited, phone at the ready. No one doubted for a second that Paksha would dial the authorities if he sensed danger.

"Eliza," he started, "remember just before Thil ran from the woods, I was opening up to you? I was about to tell you something really important?"

Eliza's face remained passive.

"Just get to the point, man. Don't look to Eliza. This is all on you," Paksha threatened.

He lifted up the phone to warn Izzian to start talking.

"Right," said Izzian. "But before I confess all of my sins, I just want to say that I am not a killer. My people and I have absolutely no intention of harming any human-ever. We live by a code; it's called the CCU Order. It means Compassionate Citizen of the Universe. Thil and I have been raised to be a CCU since we were born. We cannot behave against the CCU Order."

Thilillian nodded in agreement. Paksha and Eliza seemed unimpressed and waited for the confession they expected and deserved.

He continued, "I am not human. I am a being from a planet called Klesia Moon Prime. I was sent to earth on a homework assignment called the Goodwill Project-"

Eliza interrupted, "You mean you're an alien."

"Well, actually to me and Thil, you and Paksha are the aliens. We _are_ from another planet, but to us, you guys are the...weirder of the two species," Izzian said.

He wasn't sure if he was going about his confession in the right manner, but he had to speak from his heart, or they would never believe him.

"My homework assignment, the Goodwill Project, required that I study another person on another planet. Enot and Gala are not my real parents; they are referred to as pretend parents. My pretend parents and I had to live on said planet for a year and blend in as normal citizens. All Goodwill Projects have a person to focus on. That would be you, Eliza," Izzian paused, waiting for Eliza to express either joy or anger that she had been singled out by a species of aliens.

She stared menacingly at Izzian, but remained silent.

"Before I left for earth, I had an injection which changed my appearance to human. That explains why I turn green on the occasion. I am green. You have to understand, I am not here to hurt you.

"Earth does not believe that life exists on other planets. That's why it's so difficult to live on earth for a year and keep such a secret. It's easier on other planets, because even if we are discovered, it's no big deal. Because other planets know there is life all over the universes. Do you understand?"

"Earthlings are clueless," interrupted Thilillian.

Izzian cringed at Thil's terminology. He didn't particularly want to offend the man with his finger near the dial button.

"So, there you have it. I wish I could prove to you that I'm harmless, but I can't," Izzian said. He felt better, having finally told the truth.

"As for the creature in the woods that you mentioned earlier, I am just as clueless as you. I saw and heard strange things in those trees tonight, but I don't know what caused it. For all I know, it's an indigenous creature. I'm not from here, remember? I have no idea what you have running around your forest, but it did not come from me," Izzian said with decisiveness.

Looking around the group, he grew tired of the glaring looks of suspicion. He had been nothing but friends to these people and they were suddenly ready to turn him in to the authorities.

One would have thought Izzian had been caught murdering a puppy or something. He was only an alien, not some mass puppy murderer. Of all the things he imagined might happen while on the planet, being thrown in jail, or taken to a lab and dissected never turned up his "List of Things to Try While on Earth."

He felt the stirrings of an outburst coming on. He recognized the old, familiar tug of immature Izzian threating to reveal himself. If these earthlings wanted to see what a crazy alien looked like, he'd be more than happy to give an example.

He felt his skin pores prickle and his pulse quicken. Once he unleashed his beast, it would be too late; and then Paksha would call the cops for sure.

Paksha and Eliza remained quiet, staring him down. He couldn't take the interrogation and the explanations for another second. The situation seemed hopeless and anger turned his vision to red, his skin to green. Izzian would defend himself, alright. He was ready to burst.

Izzian was less than a second away from exploding when a funny thing happened. Eliza spoke.

"I believe you," she said, without a hint of doubt.

"How can you doubt me after all this time? How can you think I want to hurt you?" Izzian yelled.

He paused and looked around the group, and said, "Wait. Did you just say you believed me, Eliza?"

"I believe you. You are telling the truth, most of it. But you're still full of crap," Eliza said.

Paksha nodded his head in contemplation. "I also believe your story. That clears your name, Izzian Klowosky. But not hers," Paksha pointed directly at Thilillian Yangsley. "Why is this alien on earth?"

Izzian opened his mouth to answer, to save Thil, but he realized he had no idea. He wondered himself how an alien supposedly staying on Footfall Freighter for a year had magically appeared on earth already in human form. Thilillian would need to be her own rescuer. He couldn't answer that one. She'd have to save herself.

***

~~YARNING FOR ANSWERS~~

If I were you, I'd be hungry for answers about now. Hello, it's me Yarn and I have returned from my trip to Sudden Bluff with a few answers. Some I'll confess fight away, others I need to save for later. I need some 'me' time to work a few things out.

I will explain how Thilillian Yangsley ended up on earth, stumbling through the trees, falling flat on her pretty face in Eliza's backyard. You see, Thil set off a firecracker back on Klesia Moon Prime just as Izzy's comet was lifting off. The smoke and noise allowed the girl to shimmy up Izzy's comet unseen.

The brave yet occasionally stupid girl had precisely ten point three seconds to scramble up the back ladder and enter the comet through the secret escape hatch. How did she know about the secret hatch? Thil had access to anything she wanted since dear old papa Yangsley was head honcho at the lab.

Yangsley has probably been tearing out his fake hair accessory, anxiously wondering why his daughter has not reported for duty on Footfall Freighter for her Goodwill Project.

Oh, but wait. All of the Klesians have vanished. If things ever get back to normal around Klesia Moon Prime, Thil will have to face the music. It's a terrific crime to stow away on a space vehicle of any kind, especially a Goodwill Project expedition.

Are we feeling sorry for Thil yet, or do we think she needs to be punished to the fullest extent of Universal Law? Do we think Paksha will be won over by the purple-eyed beauty, or will he press that 'send' button and call the cops?

Forget being scared by the police or Homeland Security, Thilillian had better watch out for Eliza first. I hear she has a mean thumping finger and is not afraid to use it.

***

CHAPTER 26

*SIMPLY A FRIEND*

Izzian could not believe he was sitting next to Thilillian Yangsley, stowaway, criminal and thief. Not only had the girl set off an explosion to sneak aboard his comet but she'd also been living in a tree house in the woods for months and stealing supplies from Lucas and Link's house.

Thil went on to explain how she had transformed to human the old fashioned way, the fast way. She needed to be an earthling by the time the comet landed on earth, so she'd swiped an old shape shifting shot from her father's laboratory.

It was a quick method, but also a very painful one. Thil had used a needle the size of a pencil and injected her own arm. Izzian could not comprehend the sheer amount of courage it must have taken just to get to earth. He shook his head in disbelief.

He suddenly realized why Thil's Goodwill Project transformation had been difficult to detect that day at Comet Central Station. She had never shape shifted to fit in at the Juniper Colony on Footfall Freighter. Her plans were to transform to human during her secret trip to earth. Izzian's physical observations of the girl had been way off the mark. Thil had looked exactly how she had always looked- beautiful and dangerous.

When Thilillian Yangsley admitted she'd lived aboard the Gratified Speed 1213 the entire way to earth, Izzian flushed with embarrassment. If he'd known, he would have hidden his favorite blankie and tried to minimize the amount of farts he'd let in his sleep. He would have also changed his motto of "clothing optional," and put on a shirt and a pair of pants. The idea that Thil had seen him in his underpants caused a whole new kind of humiliation that he'd never experienced before.

Thil continued, oblivious to Izzian's shame, "Those Simbiots followed me to my tree house. They must have caught on that I'd been pilfering supplies from their house, because they trapped me. They caught me green-handed sneaking into their house tonight. I barely got away and it was all so scary..." Thil's voice trailed off as her tears began to flow.

"I've always wanted to come to earth. I was so jealous of you, your subject Eliza and your Goodwill Project. I desperately wanted to see earth. You kept talking about earth and I knew earth is where I wanted to be. I had no idea how rough it would be. It was a horrible idea, Izzian and I hope you can forgive me. These past few months have been really hard."

Even Paksha was taken in by the beautiful alien girl's words and he switched off his phone. Eliza clicked her tongue in disgust, not as easily taken in by the girl's sad, purple eyes as Paksha and Izzian. Izzian shushed Eliza, eager to hear the rest of Thilillian's tale.

Thil stopped crying and said, "I love earth. I really do. I would never harm this planet. I don't know what you saw in the woods, Packmule, but I had nothing to do with it. I know you just met me, but I haven't been lying all along like Izzian."

Izzian was angry that Thil had thrown him under the bus to save herself, but he was also ashamed. The full truth was finally coming to light.

"Yes. I've been lying to you all along-but only about being an alien. I never lied to you about our friendship," Izzian declared.

He tried to flutter his eyelashes as Thil had, hoping to earn an ounce of compassion, but Eliza only rolled her eyes.

The time had come to spill the last of the beans. Izzian said, "And if you don't believe me, I have proof. I have proof that I have been trying to tell you the truth since I was back on Klesia Moon Prime."

In order for Eliza to swallow his truth and not totally hate him, Izzian had to confess that he was the one spying on her through the Al203 Telescope. He knew once he uttered the words, Eliza would understand and forgive him. He took a deep breath and spoke.

"We bees you no swarm, Eliza," Izzian said. He waited patiently for the girl's response. When Eliza remained aloof, he repeated it, "We bees you no swarm."

"I'm sorry? I don't understand. Is that some kind of _Kelezia_ spaceman talk?" Eliza asked in confusion.

Frustrated that his dramatic statement hadn't affected the girl as he'd hoped, he added, "We bees you no swarm. Get it? How did you know I was watching you from space?"

Izzian continued rambling. "Oh, and no I am not a member of the Starship Federation and the donkey is not flinging nuts. I am not pimply again, nor do we practice anal probing...eww."

In his haste for her to remember and understand, Izzian had rushed the words all together until they had come out in a jumbled mess.

He paused and added sincerely, "But I am simply a friend."

"...Anal probing?" Eliza muttered, still oblivious to the significance of Izzian's words.

Finally, her eyes grew wide and suddenly, the implications of the boy's ramblings made sense.

She smacked Izzian on the arm, hard, exclaiming, "Oh! We mean you no harm! I get it! It _was_ you all along Izzian. Those were my questions...kind of," Eliza exclaimed, not recalling having ever asked if _the donkey was flinging nuts_ , or _if his people were covered in pimples._

"I learned sign language so I could speak to you. Night after night I sat up my tree house, sending you messages, knowing you were out there somewhere, and watching me. You never answered," she whispered, recalling all of those lonely nights gazing up at the stars, begging for answers.

But deep down, Eliza had already known the truth. That didn't stop her from being angry at Izzian, though.

Izzian braced for the next smack that was surely to follow, but Eliza was too busy marinating in the boy's confessions, working things out in her mind.

"How did you know I was watching you?" Izzian asked again, relieved to finally get the chance to hear a few answers to appease his own curiosity.

Obviously Eliza was crestfallen. She hadn't heard his question. Izzian had kept the truth from her for far too long and she repeated, "You never answered."

He figured he'd have to wait for Eliza to explain herself in her own time. Sure, he'd had to practically confess at gunpoint, but an earthling was allowed all the time in the world to speak the truth.

He wondered if there was a term for a person that was an alien racist, Spacist? Alienist? He'd have to invent a term eventually because at the moment, he felt quite alienated.

To Izzian's dismay, Thil butted in. "He couldn't answer you back, Eliza. We aren't allowed to contact our subjects-"

"Shush," Izzian said, stopping Thil from interjecting. He knew the last thing Eliza wanted to hear was a lecture from Thil.

"You were watching me from that...Ax2029 Telescope thingy, weren't you? I knew I was being watched. I just knew it!" Eliza said more to herself than anyone else.

" _Al203 Telescope_ , it is called. It is what we use back home for Watch Time with our Goodwill Subjects," Thilillian added.

Izzian cringed. It wasn't a good time for Thil to correct Eliza or to mention that on Klesia, Eliza had been referred to as a "subject" for some homework project. _For the love of all that's good, Thilillian-shut your mouth, Izzian mentally begged._

Eliza glared at both aliens. When she spoke, her voice was wavering. "I am not done with you by a long shot, Klowosky. Eventually you and me are gonna hash this all out. But for now, I'm just glad to know that I don't belong in the Sudden Bluff Home for Mental Health. I knew I wasn't crazy. I just knew it. Laddie was right about me."

Eliza had said her peace for the moment, and Izzian knew he had several days of groveling and apologizing ahead of him. But for now, Eliza had given him a free pass. She had also reverted back to calling him _Klowosky_ , which meant only one thing-she didn't trust him anymore. _She hates liars. What did you expect?_

"Well," said Paksha after a little consideration. "I believe you. I've seen some strange things in this town. There's an old woman who lives in the mental hospital that gets her hair curled at Bluff Cutz. I'd swear she changes shape. And Maddlington's an alien for sure," said Paksha, wrinkling his nose at the thought of the disturbing teacher, Mrs. Aloris J. Maddlington.

Paksha forgot all about his phone call to the authorities when the realization hit home. He was actually in the presence of two aliens.

With obvious exhilaration, Paksha begged to hear more. "What else? There's got to be more. Tell me Izzy! You must have some wacky creatures and weird plants and things. Do you have your own space ship? Is time travel for real? Did a space ship really crash in the desert? Tell us more about your planet, Kuala-sia Prime Steak."

Paksha was obviously enjoying mispronouncing the planet's name, getting his own revenge at being referred to as _Packmule_ so often.

"Klee-see-ya Moon Prime," Izzian corrected him, distractedly.

Izzian had more important things to discuss than the mating habits of the Slimerot Slinker or the Whoosper Trees of the Huckchuck Region. He did not have the time to talk about the fantastic features of SpacePods or whether or not a true alien had been dissected in some secret government facility in the desert. Izzian did not know the first thing about time travel, either, but he did know a little about wormholes. Those were all topics he would enjoy discussing with his friend Paksha at some other time. For now, the mysteries of the universe would have to wait.

"Listen, now that you all know the truth, I need your help. Something is horrifically wrong on my planet! There's more to the story. You see, my home, my family and everyone on Klesia and Klesia Moon Prime might be gone. It has all seemingly disappeared," Izzian said.

He went on to explain the unanswered communications and the inability to contact anyone else in the galaxy.

"But if you are unable to contact anyone back home on Colostomy Moon Prime, how will you get home?" Paksha asked.

"That's just it, _Packmule_ ," Izzian said, purposely mispronouncing his friend's name, "Thil and I might be stuck on earth...forever."

The group quietly considered Izzian's words, until Eliza could no longer remain silently sullen. She was a girl that needed answers and she wasn't finished pouting.

"What were you doing in the woods, Paksha? Are you an alien too?" Eliza said rudely.

Paksha bit back, "You shouldn't call a person of ethnicity an alien, Eliza. They could take it the wrong way."

Paksha rummaged through his backpack and tossed something at Eliza's feet.

"It's your journal," he offered. "I was waiting for the perfect time to sneak into the twins' house and steal it back. When Lucas and Link went after the girl," he said, pointing at Thilillian, "I saw my chance. I ran inside and stole it back for you. Then I snuck past the twins in their tree house and followed that alien girl here to your backyard. She's telling the truth. She was totally petrified."

"I'm sure she was. Thieves are usually frightened and on the run from someone, aren't they _Thil_? And Izzian, you speak of your pretend parents, Enot and Gala? Well, you are a pretend friend."

Paksha quickly defended the distraught Thilillian, but ignored the slight to Izzian's character. "The-lil-alien couldn't help it. She needed food and shelter to live, Eliza. You would have done the same thing if it had been you. Plus, the twins deserved to have their stuff stolen anyways."

"My name is not _The-lil-alien_ , it's actually pronounced The-lil-lee-ann," Thil corrected Paksha.

Paksha reiterated his mistake, saying, "That's what I said, The-lil-alien."

"No. The word _alien_ is not in my name," Thil retorted, but Paksha still couldn't seem to tell the difference between the two names and they bickered back and forth.

Paksha had known Izzy for months, but Thil came out of nowhere, batted her eyelashes and her sob story was accepted as easily as yesterday's news. Izzian, however, had to explain himself in detail and practically swear in a deposition that he wasn't on earth to inject alien larvae into the ears of earthlings, grow monsters or kill humans. It certainly did not seem fair to the green boy who had tried so hard to be a good friend.

Too many people were speaking at once, and Izzy only wanted to hear one voice at the moment, the voice of Eliza accepting his apology. Ignoring Paksha and Thilillian's ceaseless chattering, Izzian tried apologizing again. "I'm so sorry Eliza. I promise I was just about to tell you the truth when Thil ran out of the forest. You know I was going to say something important."

Eliza rolled her eyes, but Izzy sensed her coldness was beginning to thaw. One more push in the right direction and she might just forgive him.

"Besides, I need your help. Not only do we have to get revenge on Lucas and Link but we also have to find out a way to help Klesia, if it still exists," Izzian said dejectedly.

"I wondered why I was unable to contact anyone," Thilillian said, discovering a more important topic than name mispronunciations. "I stole a Communicator-Phalanx from my dad's lab back home, hoping I could eventually contact him and let him know I was okay, but it hasn't worked since I boarded your ship. I thought it was broken. Oh man, Izzian. What are we going to do?" Thil asked with a voice full of sheer panic.

"We'll work it out, Thil. Now that Paksha and Eliza know the truth, and now that you are with us, our odds have increased dramatically," Izzian said with a positive tone that he did not necessarily feel. It was time for a little group motivation.

He eyed each person and calmly added, "But first. Let's hunt down Lucas and Link and give those boys a taste of their own medicine. They've beaten me, stolen from Eliza and made her life horrible.

"Paksha, Lucas and Link kicked you out of their group and basically declared war on you because you've joined with us. And Thil, they've chased you through the forest scaring you to death. Now it's time for some payback."

The group got busy planning the downfall of Lucas and Link, the evil twins. Not everything had been solved between Izzian and Eliza, but at least he didn't have to keep lying every second of every day. It felt good to tell his friends that little green men existed and he happened to be one of them.

***

~~LEON LECTURES~~

Our adored _Lady_ Yarn has recently returned from her expedition to Sudden Bluff. I am filling in for her and filling her in on all that happened during her absence. Yarn is...preoccupied at the moment with a few discoveries she made whilst visiting earth.

I am hovering over the edge of the bluff in the deep valley. I finally have cause to wear a mask of my own, a cloaking device really, and I do so enjoy being invisible.

The Fester Tails and I are working hard like Compassionate Citizens of the Universe and with a few more calculations, progammations, summations and altercations, I am sure we will find the answers we seek.

It won't be too long before we discover what tragedy has befallen Izzian's home planet; and then, hopefully, we can find a solution. If not, Izzian's little Goodwill Project on earth might end up lasting a long, long time.

Through my plascreen observations, I have been able to listen to the group's plan for revenge on the evil twins. In my opinion, it is the worst plan ever made, and I am the one that tried to patent flip flips for SpacePods...talk about bad plans.

Izzian was banking on the fact that the woods of Sudden Bluff were already eerie and spooky at night. Also, with all the crazy sounds and shapes lurking in the forest, he figured the twins would already be on edge.

They would each wear scary Halloween masks from Eliza's collection and sneak up near Lucas and Link's tree house. They would then lure the twins out into the open by tossing acorns against the tree house.

Once the twins were in sight, the group would bombard the two boys with eggs, and watch them run away like scared babies. Unfortunately, they were unable to locate eggs in the middle of the night, and no one wanted to risk getting caught breaking into their own refrigerators. Doubtful that eggs would have made much of a difference, but without eggs, the plan seemed even sillier.

Paksha would record the entire escapade, using the night vision feature on his video camera. Hopefully, if the plan worked as it should, the twins' reactions would translate hilariously onto video. Lucas and Link would be forever humiliated knowing the tape was safely stashed away if they ever got out of line again.

The plan was simple, really and there were those who'd argued it was a little too simple. But they didn't have much time until sunrise, and besides, nobody had any better ideas.

If all went as planned, Lucas and Link might totally embarrass themselves and pee their pants or scream for their mommy. Paksha's recording would be used as blackmail to keep the twins under control.

Although Eliza's collection of Halloween masks looks menacing enough, I doubt the twins will run away in fear. Honestly, even if it all works and Lucas and Link get captured on film screaming in terror, would that be enough to blackmail a bully?

Izzy and the gang have to take action, though, and _that_ I understand. One gets rather tired of being bullied and no one will intentionally be hurt- maybe.

Better plans had no doubt been laid before this one, but for no better reason. And although lies had been told and feelings had been hurt, it was obvious that Izzy felt he could count on each of his allies until the end.

I'm just thankful to have a front row seat to the misadventures of the masked avengers.

***

CHAPTER 27

*WHAT, PRAY TELL, IS A PREYTELL?*

The deep woods of Sudden Bluff had seemed foreboding as of late. With the strange shadow form seen darting about, and the unidentified sloshing and clicking noises; the once familiar and even soothing forest exhibited a certain menacing vibe. The gang could use the weirdness in the woods to their advantage, and slowly creep up on the twins.

Hopefully, the Halloween masks would be convincing enough. If all went as planned, Lucas and Link would freak out long enough for Paksha to film said freak-out. Then, perhaps the twins could be blackmailed into being nice. The plan needed to work, but even if it didn't, at least they had tried.

Izzian flinched when he saw his friends don their grotesque Halloween masks. Eliza's mask resembled a cannibalistic clown; certainly not a clown he'd ever like to see walking around the woods on a dark night. The mask sprouted vibrant orange-red hair, shooting up in all directions and its teeth were filed to bloody points. She completed her gory look by wearing a dark jumpsuit, stained with what he hoped was fake blood, and wielding a plastic knife.

"This one is my favorite costume," Eliza said. She twirled to give Izzian a look at her completed ensemble.

Her voice hissed through the mouth hole of the mask when she spoke and a chill made its way up Izzian's spine.

"Izzy," the clown girl hissed, "I haven't forgiven you for lying and spying. But I know you were trying to tell me something before that girl ran out of the woods. Why didn't you tell me you had a Klesian girlfriend, anyways?"

"She's not my girlfriend," Izzian snapped, backing away from the clown's sharp teeth. "Besides, I had to lie to you. I didn't like it, but I had to do it. We have rules about the Goodwill Project. If I break the rules, I fail the assignment. Then, I'd have to stay on Klesia Moon Prime instead of passing to equidistant school on the main planet...if the planet is even there anymore."

"Still," Eliza said through the clown's maliciously formed mouth. "You should have mentioned the lil' alien."

"Her name is The-lil-lee-ann, not The-lil-alien," he spoke it slowly so she would understand, but he had an inkling that Eliza knew perfectly well how to pronounce Thil's name. "Can we please have this discussion another time, when I don't feel like I'm about to be murdered by a clown?"

Eliza pulled off her mask and said, "I've been thinking about everything you've said lately, about us being friends and all, and I have something to tell you too."

Izzian was relieved. She was finally going to talk about the alien scribbles in her journal and how she knew he was watching her with the Al203 Telescope.

Paksha and Thil stopped bickering, sensing another person was about to make yet another confession.

"Laddie is the only person that knows this about me. As you may know, Laddie can speak to spirits and read minds," said Eliza.

"Laddie from SnowCone Haven?" asked Paksha.

"No, the other Laddie who runs around Sudden Bluff reading minds and chatting with ghosts," Eliza snapped sarcastically. Paksha nearly received a thump for his stupidity, but Eliza stopped herself. She needed to say something important and a thump would have lessened her confession.

"We have the same...abilities. Laddie calls me a _sensitive_. And for God's sake, Paksha, if you say anything about me being some sappy cry baby, I _will_ thump a hole in your head. I'm a sensitive because I can _sense_ certain things, not because I cry at sentimental television commercials," Eliza rolled her eyes. Paksha cowed.

"Izzy, you asked how I could have possibly known you were spying on me from your planet? Well, I just somehow sensed it. I knew when you were there. I knew when you were gone.

"I knew it as easily as I know my own name. I started having these dreams. I'd wake up and see strange symbols scribbled all over my journal. I know that was your alien language. I don't know how I learned it."

Izzian was clearly astonished and amazed at the girl's linguistic skills. He exclaimed in wonderment, "I saw it, Eliza! I've been waiting for you to talk about it. You wrote in Klesianeese- very difficult for a human to learn. It's nearly impossible, in fact. It's...amazing. It's fantastic, it's-"

"It's rude," Thilillian said, surprising the whole group. "She's a Preytell, like Mrs. Kleevox."

"Wait, Mrs. Kleevox is a Preytell?" Izzian asked. "That explains so much."

"I can't believe you didn't know that, Izzian," Thil said. "Our teacher back home, Mrs. Kleevox, is like you, Eliza. On Klesia, we have a colony of citizens with special abilities and telepathic powers. They even have a special school just for Preytells.

"Sometimes they can really hone that ability and become stronger. It's pretty normal where we live. It's nothing to be ashamed about and it's considered rude to keep it from people. I mean, I'd want to know if I were hanging out with a mind reader. Wouldn't you?" Thil stared at Eliza accusingly for keeping her ability a secret.

For once, Eliza was dumbstruck. She had no snarky comeback or explanation. Eliza had just learned that the secret she had been hiding her entire life was commonplace on Klesia.

Eliza finally found her voice and said, "Well, don't worry Thilillian. I'm not very good at being a Praline, or a Preytell...whatever you called it. One thing I do know is that this plan of ours isn't going to play out like we all think. Something will change things...I just can't figure out what or how. Sorry. I have no control over this thing. And I'm sorry for not telling you guys. I didn't know."

"Okay Eliza. Just don't read my mind, please. That's freaky. You're not freaky," Paksha recovered quickly, hoping to avoid a thump, "But I like to think my mind is my personal space, okay?"

"I can't read minds, Paksha. Maybe if I could go to that school on Klesia I could develop this thing. But Paksha, I must agree with you. There is something abnormal in the forest; I've sensed it for a while," Eliza said, happy to be able to express her hunches instead of hiding them.

Since almost everything seemed to be out in the open, Izzian offered a suggestion. "Later we'll work together and hunt down the unknown monster lurking in the forest. For now, let's focus on the monsters we do know. Let's try to get some sweet revenge on Lucas and Link."

"Sounds like an awesome plan," Eliza said. She replaced her frightening clown mask and her words carried a certain chill. "It's time to go hunt down some twins."

Every other masked face nodded in agreement. It would be light out very soon. The group needed to work quickly to scare the pants off the evil twins.

After agreeing to meet back and hunt the weird thing in the woods another time, they stood together. They had a feeling that together, they could face down anything, even Lucas and Link.

"Operation Torture Twins has begun!" Paksha yelled with fists raised into the night sky.

The fearsome foursome stood in formation, looking vicious, ready to attack. A sense of solidarity had come over the group, and they each took a proud stance, as warriors should.

Just then, Paksha's phone rang and for a moment, the warriors paused, listening to the song about the boy who wanted to be prince of Bel Air. It was a ridiculous scenario. The four masked avengers stood in a row, as the prince whistled for a cab. They had a theme song at least.

"Excuse me," Paksha pulled out his phone and turned off the ringer. "It's my mom. She knows I've snuck out. I'll probably be grounded for the rest of my life."

Paksha paused and resituated his mask. He yelled, "It will all be worth it! Here's to believing in aliens! Here's to gaining two new alien friends! Here's to destroying Lucas and Link! And here's to saving Koala-see-ya...I mean Klesia!"

***

~~YARN'S UNEARTHING ON EARTH~~

Before Izzy and the gang embark on their ridiculous plan, let's find out what happened when old Yarn visited earth. Contrary to what Leon may have told you, I was not playing tourist, shopping and eating gourmet meals. The first mission was to contact Laddie of the SnowCone Haven to appease the Fester Tails.

What a shock to old Yarn's system when I discovered Laddie was none other than Vladimir, my long lost love. Close up, there was no mistaking the twinkle in his eyes. So, the Fester Tails didn't give a rat's behind about the health of earth children, they knew Laddie's true identity.

Laddie and I were speechless to finally see each other again. Turns out, he never abandoned me all those years ago either. He was captured by the Broshinka Brothers and couldn't show up at the train station that night.

Laddie/Vladimir has been searching for me since that dreadful night. Since I change my name so often, he could never find me. Or, just when he thought he found me, I'd change my name and disappear all over again.

There was a reason Laddie set up his snow cone shop on earth. He'd heard I would occasionally hang out in earth's galaxies and spy on wondrous escapades. Vladimir figured if he stayed on earth long enough, he'd run into me sooner or later. Turns out, he was right. Talk about commitment.

I have the Fester Tails to thank for that. Just when I think I know everything, along comes a race of aliens who really do seem to know everything.

Muriel and Signal Minor also have their suspicions about the weird blob and strange noises in the woods of Sudden Bluff. Several members of the Fester Tail tribe: Trumpet and her sister Feelia, Gus and his pal Barnaby, and of course Hulla Baloo, along with other volunteers, will hide out in the forest with Laddie to keep an eye on things.

Since unexpected incidents always fiddle with the best laid plans, I hope Muriel and Signal are confident in their scheme. All of us onboard Leon believe in the Fester Tails and their tight-lipped plan, so we are fairly certain that no harm will befall Eliza, Paksha, Thil, and of course, Izzy. What about Lucas and Link, you may ask? Those two are in the woods tonight as well and might be harmed? Eh, okay then. I hope Lucas and Link don't get hurt either. I guess.

***

CHAPTER 28

*WEIRDNESS IN THE WOODS *

The masked avengers were separated, deep in the woods, when the scream erupted. To Izzian, it sounded like Eliza. He was paralyzed with fear.

"Run!" Eliza shrieked, warning the others that the plan had gone awry.

"I've got your little girlfriend, Izzy," Lucas's voice echoed through the trees. Link climbed down from the tree house and nervously walked over to his brother, who was holding Eliza by the wrists. She squirmed to get free, but Lucas was stronger.

"Come on man. Let her go. It's over," Link said to his brother.

"No way, idiot. Let's have some fun with these losers," replied Lucas, strengthening his grip on Eliza's wrists.

"Let her go," said Izzian as he approached the twins and their hostage.

Paksha followed close behind, but Thilillian remained hidden in the trees. Izzian hoped Thil had some kind of plan, but wondered if the girl was simply hiding out of fear.

Thil had been acting like a different person since she burst into Eliza's yard in tears. The once strong, independent girl had been worn down by the trials of living in the woods alone on a foreign planet. He hoped she would recover and become herself again. He also thought a little humility might be a good thing for Thilillian Yangsley. Her problems would have to wait, though. The evil twins had captured Eliza.

"Now that you are all here, let's play a little game," Lucas said cheerfully. He roughly pulled Eliza, forcing her through the trees. "Where's that little sneak that's been stealing our stuff?"

No one answered, so Lucas continued on his power trip. "It doesn't matter. We'll find her eventually. No one steals from me and gets away with it. Did you like my little plan, Paksha? You thought we were both holed up in our tree house, just waiting for you all to come here and sabotage us. But I knew better.

"See, I saw you earlier tonight, sneaking through the trees. I knew you were following that little thieving girl. Of course you just had to play the hero. You are on the wrong side now, Paksha. It's too bad," Lucas said, with feigned sympathy.

"Let me go you pimpled up turd," Eliza said, trying to break free. Lucas's grip held firm and her struggles were only causing her more pain.

"Shut your mouth, E-loser! Did she tell you, Izzy? Did she tell you about her mother leaving her? Poor abandoned baby...But you should read this girl's journal. It's a fascinating read, really. Eliza Allready thinks she's special and that someone was watching her from outer space. Ha! It's so funny. Eliza thinks she has super powers too," Lucas said through maniacal laughter.

Izzian and Paksha followed closely as Lucas continued to drag Eliza through the trees.

"Can you tell what I'm thinking right now, Eliza? Can you read my mind?" Lucas asked sarcastically.

"Come one Lucas, it's over, let her go," Link even pleaded with his twin, knowing things had gone too far, too fast.

Lucas ignored his brother. He persisted, "I'm thinking...I'm thinking that Eliza has another super power. I think she can fly."

"He's taking her towards the bluff," Paksha whispered to Izzian.

"Let her go, Lucas," Izzian pleaded. "Take me. It's me you hate."

Lucas continued dragging Eliza towards the bluff, ignoring Izzian, preferring the sound of his own voice. "Aww, don't be so hard on yourself, Izzy. I don't hate you. I don't even know you. I just don't like the company you keep. You made your choice, and it happened to be the wrong one, I'm afraid."

Lucas was holding the struggling girl dangerously close to the edge of the bluff, and Eliza was growing more frightened by the second. She was also getting angry and Izzian was glad. Perhaps if the girl could muster enough anger, she could escape. If not, she might _have_ to grow a pair of wings and fly.

Link tried to stop his brother one more time. "Lucas, this has gone too far. Let Eliza go." Then Link said the words that figuratively pushed Eliza over the edge. "She's just a girl," Link told his brother.

Izzian saw Eliza's eyes get fiery with anger. Steam was practically shooting from her ears. Link's statement was a sore spot with any female, Izzian figured.

A certain tranquility quickly replaced Eliza's anger. It was as if she had developed a plan. She knew something that no one else knew. Izzian only wished he knew too, and then perhaps he could help the girl.

Lucas was oblivious to Eliza's resolve and he kept chatting out loud, "I mean, think about it. If she talks to aliens and If Eliza Allready can read minds, she probably has another superhero power. Let's test it! Here's your chance, Eliza. Spread your wings and fly!"

Suddenly, Eliza burst free from Lucas's grip. She teetered for a spilt second and rolled off the side of the bluff.

"Nooo!" Izzian shrieked. He fell to the forest floor in devastation.

Lucas seemed just as surprised as the rest of the kids. "I didn't do that! I didn't mean it. I wasn't really going to throw Eliza off the cliff. I swear," he pleaded, but no one listened.

Paksha ran straight towards Lucas. With a certainty he'd never before felt towards violence, Paksha punched Lucas square in the nose. Lucas sat on the ground, crying and holding his bleeding nose.

Izzian could not seem to gather his thoughts. Was this the end? He wondered. Had Eliza Allready, his best friend, just rolled off the edge of the bluff? He couldn't believe it, didn't believe it. Izzian ran to the bluff's edge, hoping unrealistically that he could reach out and grab Eliza, but it was too late.

He leaned his head out over the side and tears of disbelief streamed from his eyes.

"Psst," Izzian heard a tiny sound. He looked down, wiping away his tears. There sat Eliza Allready, alive and well. She hadn't grown wings, either.

Just over the edge of the cliff, there was an outcropping of rocks. The scene had played out just like Black Winny; The Witch of the Bluff, only Eliza hadn't missed the rocky outcropping like the ill-fated ghost. Eliza was safely tucked onto the ridge. She had rolled off the edge of the bluff and fallen about ten inches. Izzian had never been so thankful to see someone in his entire life.

Eliza placed her finger over her mouth, silencing Izzian. He smiled through his new, happier tears and stood to face the twins. He considered dragging it out and hurting Lucas even more, but no one deserved that, not even evil twin number one. He decided that Lucas had suffered long enough and Izzian was trying to remain a Compassionate Citizen of the Universe.

"Eliza is fine. You didn't throw her off the bluff," Izzian said to Lucas.

"Wh-what?" said Lucas through a haze of tears and runny snot.

"She's just over the edge. Eliza, come on up. This is over," Izzian demanded.

Paksha, Lucas and Link looked over in wonderment at the girl standing in the woods. She had a slight smile on her face, and looked a little apologetic; only a little.

"Remember Black Winny? Remember how she fell to her death and missed the rocky outcropping?" Eliza asked. "Well, Black Winny wasn't much of a Preytell. I knew right where the overhang was," she said smugly.

Lucas ran over to Eliza and threw his arms around her, hugging her tightly, sobbing uncontrollably. He wailed. He hollered. His cries of relief sounded similar to a wailing goat.

"Thank you, thank you. I'll never bother you again," said Lucas. He was so relieved that he hadn't actually murdered the girl that he didn't seem to care what he looked or sounded like.

Eliza pulled herself away from Lucas, making a yuck-yuck face at the snot he'd left on her shoulder. "Eww," she said, stepping farther away from the weeping bully.

Paksha smiled at seeing his friend alive and well. He roughly patted Eliza on the back, a little too roughly. It was obvious that Paksha was upset about Eliza's little trick. He was, however, more than grateful to see her alive.

"I think my brother and I have learned something tonight," Link began, "You won't have to worry about us bullying anyone for a long time."

"I should hope not," Paksha said sarcastically.

Before the group could get too cozy with each other, a crackle of rustling leaves and snapping branches resonated in the trees overhead. All eyes looked to the sky where a large black mass hovered on the highest branch.

Strange noises echoed over the treetops, similar to the sound of an ice machine as it spits out the last of the crushed ice. The odd clicks and gurgles that emanated from the shadowy form sent chills up the bravest spines, caused the teeth of the boldest to chatter uncontrollably and forced the most jaded eyes to widen in fear and apprehension.

The forest grew dark that night, as the menacing creature blocked out the light of the full moon. No one could be certain if the creature had long, dark hair flowing in the wind, but fear has been known to cause hallucinations.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me," Izzian exclaimed in disbelief.

Even though he was just as frightened as every other soul that night, Izzian found himself exhausted by the presumption that every time the wind whistled through the trees, each untraceable shadow, every meaningless creaking branch, was attributed to Black Winny, The Witch of The Bluff. She was a very popular witch, he thought, always popping up when one least expected it.

For once, he thought, couldn't the creature lurking in the treetops with long flowing hair be a serial killer or some other vengeful ghost, other than Black Winny?

Izzian and the others watched in stupefied disbelief as the dark form dislodged itself from the highest branch, exposing its blob-like shape in the moonlight. With surprising speed, the creature made a quick descent to the forest floor.

***

CHAPTER 29

*UNEASE IN THE TREES*

The group stood, stunned, watching the creature in the trees make its way to the ground. The dark blob-like object dropped to a lower branch, almost too quickly to see. The velocity of its descent was astounding. The thing grabbed Lucas, evil twin number one, and swooped back into the tree top.

The creature resembled a large, slithering bungee, plopping down and quickly shrinking back up. Izzian almost preferred a Whoosper Tree to the strange inhabitants of earth trees. It was like nothing he'd ever seen, and he was an alien who had seen plenty.

Lucas had time to scream once before the creature was able to silence him. Link ran to the spot where Lucas had last stood, frantically searching the area.

"Lucas, where are you? Come on Lucas. Quit playin' around dude. I'm gonna tell mom," cried Link. But Lucas was nowhere to be seen.

"Uh, Link," Izzian said. "I don't think Lucas is playing around. I don't think he's coming back." Izzian gazed into the treetops, searching for the ghostly creature.

"But...but you saw that, right? Something stretched down from the tree and like sucked him back up. Come on guys, help me out here. Eliza, I tried to stop him! I know my brother is a lunatic, but he doesn't deserve to be served up on a platter to Black Winny," Link said, wild-eyed.

Apparently, Izzian was not the only person in the forest that night to assume that the legendary Black Winny was out hunting naughty children.

Link was growing more upset by the second. He frantically pushed aside tree limbs, searching for his twin brother in vain. He looked to the others for help, for understanding, but saw only confusion on their faces.

Eliza spoke up first. "Come on, the creature hasn't gotten far. Lucas has to be here somewhere."

Link was stunned that Eliza Allready, the girl he and his twin has pestered for so long, was willing to help. His twin brother had nearly launched her over the edge of the cliff only a moment ago, yet she was ready to forget it all, possibly putting her own life in danger.

"I am so sorry this happened tonight, Eliza. I will never bother you again, I swear. I know Lucas has changed tonight too...I hope we can find him," Link said.

Eliza responded, "I accept your apology. Just keep your promises to me, Link."

Link nodded his head, grateful that Eliza was willing to forgive him. His promises and apologies may have come too late, though. A creature was still lurking in the treetops, a creature bent on vengeance.

The kids searched the bushes and the deeper grass, but the creature hadn't left behind a single clue as to Lucas's whereabouts. Link began to cry and throw badly aimed acorns at the tree. Through his sobbing he yelled, "You took my brother, you witch! Give him back! Give him ba-"

In the middle of Link's pleas, the creature of the treetops swooped down and grabbed Link, just as it had grabbed his twin.

Eliza's eyes grew wide and she stared into sky. "Something got Link too," she said. "Either Black Winny is for real, or we have some other freaky thing in these woods."

"Eliza, just stand somewhere else please. I don't want that thing to bungee back down and steal you too," said Izzian.

He was relieved that Eliza hadn't been thrown over the cliff. He stood very close to her in case something tried to grab her too. Izzian was also quite proud of the earth girl. He didn't know of another single person that would so easily forgive a bully.

"We can't hunt the creature, now. It was trying to help me," she said, gazing into the dark skies.

"Should we even look for Lucas and Link?" Paksha asked.

Izzian informed his friends that a CCU would at least look around a bit, so they briefly searched for the evil twins, unenthusiastically. They found no clues or hints to the whereabouts of Lucas and Link, aka the bullies of Sudden Bluff.

Thilillian finally made an appearance. She ran up to the group, panting and said, "I found something."

They followed Thil to the very edge of the woods, where the sidewalk into town began.

"I got separated from you guys. Then I heard a scream. I saw something bounding around like a gooey rubber band. It carried those Simbiots, uhm... twins. Lucas and Link were all wrapped up and bound together. I thought that was a good thing, since those guys suck. But then I remembered Paksha wanted to find the creature in the woods, so I followed it here. I found this."

Thil pointed to a trail of slime on the sidewalk, glistening in the sunshine of a brand new day. Izzian and Thil looked to each other. The Klesian kids knew what resided in the woods of Sudden Bluff, but they had no idea how a Raging Slunt Notte had gotten to earth.

***

~~YARN'S MEMOIRS~~

It was just like the old days, Vladimir and Natasha, solving puzzles and answering the great questions of the universe. Only last night, it was Laddie and Yarn, watching the younglings solving puzzles and seeking answers.

Thanks to my SpacePod Leon and his cleverness, all of us onboard witnessed the disappearance of the evil twins, through Izzy's plascreen. We saw everything that happened in the forest that evening, but did not want to interfere.

I chuckled at the naiveté of the "Fearsome Four" as they strode through the trees, prepared for battle. Do you think our heroes realize just how silly their original plan had been? Had they actually believed that a few plastic Halloween masks would scare anyone?

The entire scheme hinged on surprising the twins with those silly masks and it turned out that Lucas and Link already knew they were coming. I ask, did those masks serve any purpose whatsoever, besides providing some comical diversion for me and my crew?

I'm fairly certain Eliza was dressed as a killer clown. Paksha wore a dirty hockey player's mask and Thil pretended to be some black-headed fellow with a large nose and red swirls upon his cheeks. Izzian must have been the last one to choose a mask, because I believe the only one left resembled a psychotic looking Hello Kitty.

Even though we all knew that the absurd plan would fail, the younglings had to fight their own battles. All we could do was watch, and perhaps help in some small way- a _small way_ meaning accepting the guidance of the Fester Tails.

The Fester Tails and Laddie the snow cone man knew about the existence of the alien Slunt Notte, and knew it would target the twins. Laddie, being a very special brand of alien connected to the energies of the universe, tended to know about most things beforehand. He knew about Eliza's plan to throw herself over the edge of the bluff even before she knew about it.

The twins are safe, albeit slightly stickier than they would normally be. Lucas and Link will awaken, bound together, partially unclothed, in the middle of the town square. They will also be wearing a smidgeon of eyeliner. Guess the Slunt Notte has a wicked sense of humor.

At least four of the town's most reliable gossips will notice the twins piled up in the town square, wearing makeup. It is not a lesson they will soon forget-nor will the kids of Sudden Bluff, who may happily continue on with their lives, bully free.

Now that the pesky bullies have been removed from the equation, we can focus on the steak, and not the potatoes. It is time to solve the problem of the missing Klesians.

After the night's escapades, the kids reassembled in the forest near the bluff, intent on finding Eliza's collection of discarded Halloween masks. My crew and I, Laddie included, are waiting for the perfect moment to announce our presence.

The time has come for Laddie to share his alien status, and it's well past time for old Yarn to make introductions to my own crew. I am most certain that the younglings will undoubtedly pester me with countless questions, but as you may already know; I like to keep 'em guessing.

As soon as you and I are done speaking, I will uncloak Leon and step out into the forest, making my grand entrance. My grand entrance will most likely cause some heart palpitations and quickening pulses. Paksha, Eliza, Izzy and Thil are young enough to survive the shock, though.

I wonder if I should mention how I've watched their lives like Leon watches television; how I've seen each new friendship develop, listened in on every secret confession and laughed every time Black Winny was blamed when a branch creaked or the wind whistled. It's probably better if I don't mention how I have been watching them for a long, long time.

I will, however, introduce myself and the Fester Tails, gently. Once Laddie has explained his own role in the earthly theatrics, I will implore that we all get down to the business of saving a few planets.

Once the kids get to know old Yarn a little better, they will accept my help and heed my guidance. Combined, we are a great team; a team that must work together. I fear that time is running out for the Klesians and no amount of eyeliner or earthbound Slunt Nottes will help.

***

### **PART THREE**

CHAPTER 30

*UNCOVERED ALIENS*

The sun peeked through the tree tops, streaking the ground with brilliant patches of warm color. Every being was exhausted from the night's escapades but all were happy to feel the sun's rays signaling that the dreadful night had ended.

Izzian, Eliza, Paksha and Thilillian paused mid-conversation upon hearing rustling leaves, breaking twigs and moving branches. This time, they knew that the quietly restrained noises had nothing to do with the appearance of The Witch of the Bluff. The fears of Black Winny had diminished along with the moonlight, and anyone standing in the middle of the woods could see and feel the calming beauty of the sun carving its way through the treetops.

The forest that had moments ago seemed so still and quiet became alive with movement and sound. Bit by bit, each member of Yarn's party revealed their existence.

A SpacePod appeared, its figure slowly shimmering into view, and out walked Yarn. With an uncharacteristically warm smile and soft voice, she introduced herself to the group.

Taking his cue, Laddie stepped from behind a tall oak tree and politely nodded his head in greeting. The kids were happy to see Laddie's familiar face, but were confused by his presence in the woods. Yarn then made the announcement, telling each little Fester Tail it was time to meet the gang.

One by one, the smallest known people in the universe came forward. Some stepped out from under leaves; others appeared from behind Laddie's shoelaces, while others stood upon the rocks they had previously hidden under.

The strangest camouflage seemed to be the masses of wildflowers that began to move individually and of their own accord. The flowers revealed themselves to be Fester Tails, using the bloom off each stem as a hat.

"These are the Fester Tails of SpacePod Leon. They are my friends, my helpers," said Yarn, carefully approaching the wide-eyed faces of Izzy, Eliza, Paksha and Thil. "This is Muriel and Signal, with their daughter Esterly, and over there is Hulla. I think that fellow wearing a Dandelion as a hat is Gus, or Barnaby- I can never tell those two apart. I see Trumpet standing on that stone, and her sister Feelia resting on Laddie's shoe..." As Yarn began the endless process of introducing every single individual Fester Tail by name, Laddie interceded.

"Is not important, my love. The kids will have time to meet as many Festers as they want. Later," Laddie said. He smiled at his beloved to make the criticism easier to swallow.

"Quite right, Vladdie," said the old woman calling herself Yarn. "My friends, the Fester Tails and I are here to help you all save Klesia. The problem of Lucas and Link has been solved and the kids of Sudden Bluff no longer have to live in fear. Finally, all brains are to be focused on the missing Klesians. Okay let's get started," she finished abruptly, anxious to begin.

It was obvious to everyone present that blank stares and puzzling expressions needed tending before anyone got started with saving Klesia.

"One last question," Izzian ventured, even though he'd had no opportunity to ask the first one, "Your name is Yarn and Fester Tails are real. Okay, but why is Laddie here and how did you know a Raging Slunt Notte lived in Sudden Bluff?"

"That was two questions," Yarn said, avoiding the answer all together.

Laddie, understanding that his sweet Natasha was not so fond of question and answer sessions, spoke for her, "Ask little people. Is all part of Fester Tail plan. We think they knew everything already, but we'll never know since the little people don't answer questions. Some nerve, eh?" said Laddie, delivering eleven Fester Tails from his sneaker and four from his shirt pocket to the ramp of Yarn's SpacePod.

After introductions to the little people were complete, most of the tiny tribe marched back into their tiny lair with tiny smiles upon their tiny faces. Signal and Muriel Minor remained with the bigger people since they were the Spokespeople of the tribe. Hulla Baloo, the tribe's mechanic, also remained, being too stubborn to go inside like the rest of his people.

"Laddie, I can't believe you were in on this. I should have known that you aren't from earth," said Izzian, feeling like a Glotfish for not recognizing an alien when he saw one.

"Thanks to the nosey Fester Tails, I found my beautiful Natasha," Laddie said, grabbing Yarn's hand. He thickly lathered on the accent again, "I pack up all my stuff, my entire business and want to go away with her, if she'll have me. Of course your old friend Laddie wants to help save Klesia too."

"We'll discuss it later, Vladdie," Yarn whispered. Then she addressed the group, loudly, saying, "When we got wind of that evil twin getting sucked up by the Slunt Notte, we knew it was all over. Pukas, or Mucas, or whatever you kids are calling him these days, will never bother you again. The bully situation needed to be solved before we could begin with the important business of saving Klesia."

Yarn, all gentleness gone from her persona, looked around the group of perplexed faces and added, "I don't understand your confusion. It's all quite simple, really. Eliza gets it, and she's never been in the presence of so many aliens."

Eliza perked up at the mention of her name. She and Paksha seemed to be silently soaking up the appearance of the newcomers, both tiny and regular-sized. It was a lot to take, if one has never been within a large group of more than a single alien or two. Eliza merely nodded her head every few minutes, possibly checking to see if her brain was still inside her skull.

It was understandable that the girl was in a state of confusion and disbelief, but for some reason, she wanted to impress the old woman known as Yarn. Eliza made an obvious effort to appear more sophisticated.

Yarn, faced with the expressions of continued bafflement, attempted more explanations. She left out the details regarding her proclivity for spying and really didn't say much of anything. Her demeanor suggested that she was not in the mood for a press conference and that any questions should be directed to someone else.

After Yarn's very brief summary, the group stood awkwardly in a confused haze, curiously regarding the wizened old lady. They still had no idea who she was and why she ended up on earth, watching them battle a bully and planning the rescue of Klesia and its moon.

Yarn stepped closer to Eliza and spoke softly, "Soon enough, the sight of tiny Fester Tails and talking SpacePods will wear off and you will return to normal."

Eliza never stopped nodding her head and asked, "Talking SpacePods?"

During the introductions and all the confusion that followed, Leon the SpacePod had been all but forgotten. Since he was half-artificial and half-organic, he didn't really mind not being the center of attention. Leon knew his introduction would come, once all the nonsense with the Fester's had been settled.

Yarn leaned in close to Eliza and whispered, "Has your friend Izzian ever mentioned that as a child, he had a guardian Fester Tail named Chintz? No? It's true. Izzy believed Chintz was real and treated him like a best friend. One day, his father declared that Chintz was only an imaginary friend and that Fester Tails did not exist. Ojolian told his son it was time to grow up."

Izzian listened as Yarn spoke of his past as though she had been there from the beginning. He was perplexed as to how Yarn could have distinct details regarding such a trivial incident from his childhood.

"Can you imagine the look on his father's face," Yarn continued, "standing here today, seeing all these little people wandering to and fro? Just goes to show you that even a scientific genius, a green man from a planet called Klesia Moon Prime doesn't know much about the universe. Fester Tails are real as you and me."

Eliza absorbed the message of Yarn's words, and the old woman nodded in approval of Eliza's quick wit and level-headed nature. Izzian also grasped the message and considered that perhaps the incident from his childhood was not so trivial. He had almost forgotten about Chintz the Fester Tail and was amazed to discover that he had not imagined his imaginary friend. Chintz had been real.

Paksha, who had curiously examined every diminutive detail of the alien-filled forest, approached Yarn's SpacePod. He introduced himself to Leon and began having a conversation with a living UFO, feeling a certain kinship with the ship who occasionally felt like a third wheel.

When Yarn glared at Izzian for raising his hand, it became quite clear that she did not subscribe to the old adage that there were no stupid questions. Yarn's press conference was over.

SpacePod Leon took his own cue and loudly proclaimed, "Now that you are all gathered together, I have an important announcement to make. Please come aboard and make yourselves comfortable. For those of you who do not know me, my name is Leon. All aboard!" shouted the SpacePod Leon. Then he quietly added, "I've always wanted to yell that."

Izzian's pretend parents, Enot and Gala, arrived right on schedule, trudging through the forest. By the looks on their faces, they were wondering why everyone else had already arrived and why they hadn't been included in the plan with Lucas and Link.

The Fester Tails had organized everything it seemed, purposely inviting Izzian's pretend parents _after_ the snatching of Lucas and Link. It was a smart decision as the young adults would more than likely have messed up the entire plan, as parents so often unwittingly do.

Gala, and undoubtedly Enot, would have interrupted the kids and put an end to the senseless bullying. Unfortunately, by stopping Lucas in his tracks, his mistreatment of the kids would have ended for the night, but most certainly continued the next day and forever after. The twins would have learned nothing.

The second he stepped into the clearing, Enot began whining. "I see you Thilillian Yangsley. You might as well come out and face the music," he demanded.

Thilillian meekly stepped out of her hiding spot. Her gutsy scheme of sneaking to earth was at an end, and she knew it was time to pay the fiddler, or in this instance, get an earful from Enot.

In a way, Thil was happy that someone was worried about her. She almost glowed when Enot scolded her and announced that the entire population of the Footfall Freighter most likely assumed that she had either drowned in the muddy waters of the Jum-Jum River, or been kidnapped by the space terrorist, Zelph Elegueria.

"The freighter would have never thought to look for you on earth, Thil. You might have been stuck on the planet forever. Dr. Yangsley will blame me for this," Enot yammered on.

Finally, Gala placed her finger upon Enot's lips, silencing him. She hugged Izzian and Thilillian and said how happy she was to know they were safe.

"And you, Izzian! Your father will hear about your activities in the woods. I better not get blamed for picking up an interstellar stowaway..." Enot mumbled to Gala. She replaced her finger each time Enot tried to open his mouth.

Enot wasn't finished complaining and he spoke over and through Gala's strategically placed finger. "Thilillian Yangsley, you are in violation of a hundred different laws. You used an illegal firecracker in a public setting, stowed away on a vehicle and violated every space travelling law in existence." Oddly enough, Thil's happiness continued to soar with Enot's increasing wrath.

By contrast, Izzian was not so happy to receive a scolding from Enot. With puppy dog eyes, the boy spoke mournfully, saying, "But my father has possibly vanished, along with the entire planet," Izzian _was_ truly worried, but he was also attempting to lessen Enot's fury, garnering sympathy instead.

Thil seemed to happily accept Enot's reprimands, always having been a loner whose father never took the time to express any cares about her behavior. Without warning, Thil strolled over to Izzian and planted another kiss on his blushing cheeks.

"Gleestix Thil, what was that for?" said the abashed alien, turning bright green in the morning sunlight.

"For everything. For all of your help and the help of your friends," Thil cried. She also pecked Paksha on the cheek with a sprightly kiss and hugged Eliza.

She didn't notice the fumes practically shooting from Eliza's eyes, or at least she pretended not to notice. Thil thanked Enot and Gala, apologizing for her reckless adventuring. She promised Enot that the blame lay entirely on her own shoulders.

Thil continued, "I am truly sorry. Enot you are right. You have all risked so much for me. My entire life I was a loner, never thought I needed anyone, played my own game. This summer on earth, I realized life was not a game. I've acted like a complete and total Glotfish, but you all are still here, supporting me."

Thil approached Eliza and Paksha. She reached for their hands and added, "No matter what happens, no matter if Klesia suddenly appears again, I'll never forget the support and kindness you two have shown me, a complete stranger, and an alien to boot."

Paksha blushed right along Izzian at the alien known as Thilillian Yangsley. Even Eliza seemed to have softened to the black haired beauty, somewhat. Even though the boy had no control over Thil's lips and where she chose to plant them, Izzian would forever be blamed for being on the receiving end of a kiss.

The old space traveler known as Yarn butted in, saying, "Looks like Lucas and Link weren't the only ones who learned a valuable lesson tonight."

Eliza was feeling thankful too, but rather than give kisses, Izzian and Paksha each received a swift thump to the head for being helpful. Izzian knew she was still angry, but it was nice to be on the receiving end of a thump again.

***

CHAPTER 31

*DISTINCLY DIVERSE DISCUSSION*

With a grunt, Yarn invited everyone to board her ship. Eliza and Paksha followed, giving each other quizzical glances. They had seen a Slunt Notte snatch Lucas and Link, watched a tiny tribe of minuscule people board a living space ship, and were currently being ushered aboard said alien space ship. As crazy as it all seemed, it all seemed perfectly normal.

Those new to the interior of space vehicles were pleasantly surprised when Leon grew several perfect chairs from the floor.

"Please, have a seat," Yarn indicated.

Yarn sat in her own chair, a filthy plaid recliner awkwardly jammed into a small space near the control panel. Suddenly, a tiny seating area had been established for the Fester Tails. Laddie/Vladimir crouched next to the recliner, beaming at his beloved Yarn/Natasha with eyes full of adoration. Izzian stifled his urge to gag.

"Leon is forever changing," said Yarn, to the newcomers who had never seen a partially organic ship before. "Don't let it frighten you, child," Yarn grabbed Paksha's hand which was trembling. "You'll get used to it and someday, perhaps in your lifetime, earth may have the same capabilities. Probably not," she added with a hitch to her shoulders.

"Oh, I'm not frightened," announced Paksha with glee, "I'm ecstatic! I knew there were aliens in the universe. I just knew it! And now here I am, sitting in a growing, changing ship named Leon. It's freaking awesome!"

Everyone laughed at Paksha and it felt good to laugh after the horrendous events of the previous evening. Paksha took it all in with a good natured spirit which was why Izzian and Eliza were drawn to the boy in the first place. Other than threatening to have Izzian locked up, Paksha was a go-with-the-flow kind of guy.

When the group had settled in, Yarn began, "I have some news about Klesia and Klesia Moon Prime. According to our resident tribe of Fester Tails," she said, indicating the tiny creatures sitting around a little conference table shuffling small important looking papers, "Klesia and Klesia Moon Prime have not disappeared." The group gasped in relief.

A sky map with the current date and time, showing a healthy looking planet and its moon, appeared on Leon's main big-vid screen. The Fester Tails watched the graphics on their own big-vid, which was much smaller in comparison. A duplicate imagine covered the screen, although miniaturized.

"That's fantastic," Izzian blurted, seeing images of his home sitting prettily on the big-vid, looking no worse for the wear. "So, it's just a communication's malfunction right? I mean we can still get home somehow, it will just take a while to program the coordinates-"

Yarn held up a hand to stop Izzian's outburst. "I wasn't finished, young Klesian," said Yarn with a note of authority. Yarn was the type of person who believed interruptions should only be permitted when she had finished speaking, which changed the very nature of an interruption.

The older woman had a few things to learn about the behaviors of a larger group, it seemed, especially one comprised of a several teenagers, a few graduate students and the know-it-all Fester Tails.

"Now," Yarn continued, softening her glowering face, "the planets are still there, but the people...the people have completely disappeared."

Now it was Izzian's turn to scowl. He desperately felt the need to interrupt the old woman and assault her with questions but remained silent. Thilillian looked equally as upset. Eliza and Paksha looked more confused than anything else.

"Where have they all gone?" Thil asked nervously. "How could an entire population of Klesians simply vanish?"

"Child, please let me finish," Yarn implored. "We were able to get the images of the planets that you see on the big-vid from a travelling freighter that passed by Klesia. The Fester Tails were able to contact the asteroid called...Footfall Freighter, I believe. They have also been attempting to contact Klesia for months since they never received a certain passenger that was supposed to be on board."

Thilillian glared at the floor in disgrace, knowing that she herself was the missing passenger. Thil wasn't even able to hide her shame, since the Fester Tails resided near her feet. Several tiny faces peered up at Thilillian, but she couldn't read their small expressions enough to know if they were judging her.

"Yes," Yarn continued, dissecting Thilillian with a single look. "One might want to do some confessing about now."

Suddenly, a loud yet muffled banging resonated through the ship. Someone was at the door.

"Ouch! I'm being punched," Leon screeched as another bang echoed loudly.

"It's only Mrs. Jesset," Gala said.

"She'll never fit inside," Izzian said more to himself than anyone else.

"Leon, uncloak and show Mrs. Jesset the door," Yarn said distractedly, her mind reeling from all the intrusions. "We'll never get anything done until every alien in the vicinity is here."

Yarn glared down at the Fester Tails and said, "What have you done? Sent out an alert to every agent in the area?"

Muriel the Fester Tail, although tiny, presented herself as tall as she possibly could and stubbornly turned away from Yarn, giving the old woman the cold shoulder.

"I suppose this was your idea, Muriel? Signal? Hulla, tell me you didn't..."

Leon spoke up for his miniature friends, "It was my idea too. We needed Enot and Gala so of course we summoned them here. I suppose Muriel and Signal called Mrs. Jesset, the Firithian woman too. Sorry if we've made you uncomfortable, Yarn, but we discussed the matter while you were traipsing around Sudden Bluff like a tourist in love. We decided Klesia needed all the help we could get."

"I knew it!" Paksha yelled with glee, having had his suspicions all along that old Able Mabel Jesset was an alien.

"It's your body, Leon. Get on with it," Yarn said. She shrugged, permitting Leon to change form in order to accommodate the giant woman.

Immediately, Leon sucked up Yarn's old recliner, making the cabin appear much larger. Yarn frowned, hating to see her favorite chair go, but saw the logic in her ship's idea. Leon then rounded out the edges of his walls, causing each seated person and his or her chair to slowly ooze toward the center of the room.

"Wow," Eliza exclaimed. Paksha was too excited to speak. With wide eyes, he scanned the newly formed and still changing shapes of the ship. Leon flattened out his domed roof, and stretched out the walls, causing the room to grow even larger. Leon was thoughtful, if nothing else and provided a nice high, cone shaped spot just for the Firithian, Mrs. Jesset.

"Permission to come aboard?" Mrs. Jesset's deep voice boomed.

"Whatever," said Yarn, clearly uncertain about her feelings regarding the throngs of beings now clumped together on her ship.

"Oh, don't look at me like that," Yarn said to Muriel Minor who was apparently nodding her small head in shame at Yarn's callous behavior toward the newcomers.

"It's like an alien convention or something," Paksha said in wonderment to Eliza. The group, not including the hundreds of residing Fester Tails, was complete. With Yarn, Laddie/Vladimir, Eliza, Izzian, Paksha, Enot, Gala and Mrs. Able Mabel Jesset, the room appeared less crowded than one might have thought.

"That's perfect Leon," said Eliza, clapping her hands in recognition of the ship's organically artificial shape shifting abilities.

"Please. Can we focus? The Klesians have vanished right off the planet? All of them? I don't understand how that happened. Enot, do you have any ideas?" Izzian asked, ready to hear Enot's summation.

"I believe I know what happened to the Klesians. But it's only a wild guess. I mean, how could it have happened?" Enot was in deep thought mode, and seemed to be teetering on the edge of an important discovery. Izzian imagined he could hear gears clicking inside the man's head.

"How can I help?" Thilillian quietly asked. "I'll do whatever it takes to help our people and clear my name. I just hope...I just hope I didn't trigger the disappearance of the Klesians somehow. I mean, I always tinker with the Al203 Telescope and-"

In an instant, Thilillian paused at her own words, realizing she had just exposed the very source of the disappearing Klesians.

"That's it!" she screamed. "I should have known..." Enot looked to the girl, a sudden realization showing on his face as well.

"Could it be true, Thilillian? Is it possible?" Enot asked her.

The group was baffled by Thil and Enot's unexpected proclamations. Unfortunately, they were the only two on the ship who'd had a "eureka" moment. Everyone else remained confused. Enot and Thil continued a private discussion, oblivious to the rest of the world, which was in Yarn's opinion, all huddled together on her ship.

After a silent agreement had been reached between the two, Thil lifted her head. At long last, the girl from Klesia looked up and said, "The Al203 Telescopes have finally given the public the _catastrophic event_ they have been predicting for years. Klesia and Klesia Moon Prime haven't exploded. The Klesians haven't all vanished. They've all been shrunk."

***

CHAPTER 32

*CATASTROPHIC EVENT*

It was a lot to take in and the group became silent as Thilillian explained their predicament. Paksha sat quietly, drinking in every detail while Eliza chewed her nails, a habit she had long since abandoned but had recently taken up again. The remaining different races of aliens considered Thil's words, searching for a correlation between the telescope and the shrinking Klesian population.

"Thil is right. It's simple really," Enot said. He paced the cabin, stumbling over protruding knees and crossed feet, careful to avoid squashing the Fester Tails. "The lens of the Al203 Telescope on Klesia has directly focused on the lens of the Al203 on Klesia Moon Prime. It finally happened!"

"Those protestors were right about one thing, something catastrophic _did_ happen," Gala added. "But Enot, do you really think they all just shrunk...shrinked? shrank?"

Enot kept trying to pace the cabin, but was clearly agitated by the lack of legroom. He stood still and said, "Imagine if an entire population shrunk down to the size of...well of you Fester Tail people. They couldn't answer communications, could they? Heck, no offense to the Fester Tail tribe, but they couldn't even reach the computers or anything. They are healthy and alive but too small to do anything to fix the problem. All of the machinery is too big for them to use!" Enot shouted. He was laughing hysterically, but Izzian didn't see anything funny about the situation.

His ortnots might be starving, scavenging for crumbs of food or stranded someplace too high to get down. The Fester Tails had their whole lives to practice being small, but regular-sized Klesians had no such training. His people needed saving.

"Thilillian," Enot said franticly, "your input today has most definitely cleared your name. You were right about the telescopes shrinking the population. Since you are an unauthorized whiz on the Al203 Telescopes, I'll need your help to prove something else. An idea has occurred to me. My...observation will shock everyone on board. I have another theory and it's a doozey."

Enot addressed the young Klesians. "First of all, are you aware of any mistakes made on the Al203? Did anything out of the ordinary happen that you know of?"

Thil and Izzian clearly recalled the day when Izzian elbowed Mr. Seebot as the half-man typed in commands. Izzian was not quite ready to rat himself out yet, and Thil procrastinated, trying to determine a way to keep him out of trouble and herself a little less _in_ trouble. She came to the conclusion that no amount of lying or scheming would help save her people.

"Mr. Seebot, he...slipped and miscalculated an entry. Izzian saw it too," Thil confessed.

Izzian's eyes grew wide at the mention of his name, afraid he had some explaining to do, but Gala intervened. "Why would a robot need to manually enter calculations? Shouldn't he have just used his input/output beam?"

Thil and Izzy shrugged their shoulders, but old Yarn knew the truth.

"Mr. Seebot has a little...psychosis, a complex if you will. He thinks he is more organic than mechanical, a grave mistake when calculating your crude little telescope. I'm afraid your Mr. Seebot may have had a hand in shrinking all of your people," Yarn added.

"I think most would agree that Mr. Seebot has a few, err...mental instabilities," Enot declared. "From the main lab, Seebot is able to control all of the Al203 telescopes in the universe. He must have set a delay switch for both of the telescopes on Klesia and the Moon Prime. If I recall, Dr. Yangsley posted a sign prohibiting anyone from using the Al203's during our last week at home, so no one would have detected the error. Most of the Goodwill students would have already left."

In the middle of his scientific breakthrough, Enot failed to notice the distraught look on Thilillian's face at the mention of her father's incompetency. Gala interrupted, adding, "Dr. Yangsley is a trusted and esteemed colleague. I'm sure he had no idea that the Al203 Telescopes would end up shrinking the Klesian population. But, I am beginning to think that by now, Seebot knows he really messed things up."

"Quite right, Gala. We were already on earth," Enot explained, "when both telescopes switched on, as per Seebot's accidental delay instructions. The lenses aligned. It had to have been an accidental misdirection. Seebot made a grievous mistake, but he's no traitor.

"He's a robot with nothing to gain from shrinking the population. Plus, Seebot shrunk right along with everyone else. That explains why Izzian, Gala and I...and Thil as it turns out, weren't shrunk to the size of a Fester Tail. Beg pardon," Enot nodded toward the conference table full of Fester Tails.

"That explains how it happened, but how do we fix it?" Izzian asked.

"That is the problem," Enot said. "Someone has to manually override the delay switch. The person who reprograms the Al203 has to physically be on the planet's surface. It was turned off, remember? The only reason they switched on and aligned was because Seebot accidentally set a delay switch. Therefore, the telescopes must be manually readjusted. Of course, this is just my own theory..."

"Okay, that's not so bad, right?" Eliza added her voice, even though she hadn't a clue how the alien telescopes worked. "One of us can just beam down, or whatever, and turn the telescopes back on. Punch in a few numbers, and the Klesians will return to normal size, right? Problem solved."

Mr. Hulla Baloo, the cute yet feisty little Fester Tail tugged on Enot's pant leg. Enot got on all fours and bent down to the level of the small man in order to better hear his words.

Enot nodded his head, saying, "Aha," and "Oh yes, certainly."

He stood up to share Hulla's words with the taller crowd. "Mr. Baloo agrees and he suggested that when the telescopes and the lenses connected that day, the jolt caused them to shift. Once we shift them back, pointing them at each other again, and switch the telescopes on, all of Klesia should return to their normal size. So, yes, Eliza, your summations are partially correct."

Hulla Baloo tugged on his pant leg again, and Enot hunkered lower in order to hear. Enot nodded as the Fester Tail spoke, grimacing at the little man's words.

Enot paused before admitting the bad news. "The worst part is...well...the person we choose to manually reprogram the Al203 on Klesia Moon Prime will suffer the exact opposite of the rest of Klesia's people. The small Klesians will return to normal but...the person that reprograms the Al203 will almost definitely shrink."

Enot's audience gasped as they heard the alarming news. No one could believe that the hero who reprogrammed the telescope would shrink to the size of a Fester Tail, or smaller.

Yarn spoke up, stating the obvious, "Looks like we need a volunteer."

***

CHAPTER 33

*BAD BISCUITS AND TERRIBLE TEA*

For a moment, the entire group was shocked into a quiet submission, each contemplating Enot's revelations, each wondering who should reprogram the Al203 Telescope.

No one really wanted to shrink, but they all knew someone had to volunteer for the job. Many Klesians could have already perished as a result of becoming tiny people. Also, the Klesian government couldn't survive at a standstill for too much longer, less some radical alien group try to swoop in and take over the CIC.

Like a sudden burst of air, the stunned silence turned into a seething mob. Insults flew. Accusations were hurled. Nobody wanted to be chosen for the job. Every being on the ship bickered nonstop, with the exception of the Fester Tails, who were involved in some unknown task.

Finally, the tiny yet undeniable Muriel Minor, sounded a cringingly earsplitting alarm. The sound was so awful that everyone was stunned back into silence. The motley group of companions stopped in midsentence to cover their ears.

As soon as the group had recovered enough of their hearing, Muriel pulled out a microphone- looking device with bright pink feathers sprouting out of one end.

"Tea time!" Muriel announced into the gaily feathered stick.

As the last of the appalling alarm echoed in their ears, everyone complained.

"Gleestix, that was loud," someone moaned. "That's the worst sound I've ever heard," said another. "My ear drums are bleeding," agreed the next one.

Leon spoke up and proudly announced that he had created that particular alarm so that the Fester Tails might be able to better announce things. He also created the microphonic device so the small-voiced Fester Tails might be heard over regular sized voices. It was a smart invention, but the sound embedded itself into Leon's soft walls, echoing for way too long.

The Fester Tails hadn't used Leon's invention before, because they'd had no reason to. But Fester Tails disliked disorder. They didn't enjoy the group falling into disarray and decided it was time to take advantage of the sound amplifier.

Following Muriel's loudly announced orders, Eliza helped Yarn prepare tea, coffee and some odd, smelly, syrupy concoction. Eliza passed out the various drinks and placed a platter of biscuits on a table that had formed out of the floor.

"Thank you Leon," said Eliza. She circled the room, choosing the seat farthest away from Izzian.

Everyone grew silent as they sniffed their drinks and took precarious sips. Yarn's china was mismatched and unbalanced. No single cup balanced correctly on any plate. The liquids sloshed over the edges, making it difficult to drink. It was an awkward tea time.

Eliza had handed an overflowing cup to Thilillian. She accepted the presented beverage with politeness, but struggled to hold the thing. Thil's cup was completely crooked on the bottom and sat at a sideways angle on a plate with four holes.

Izzian's lopsided cup dribbled hot brew down the front of his shirt each time he ventured to take a sip. He finally gave up all together and reached for a biscuit.

The Fester Tails were given tiny refreshments prepared by their own chef. Izzian was jealous of the smaller people's delightful array of sugary treats. He stared longingly as Muriel Minor sipped a steaming liquid that smelled exactly like hot chocolate with marshmallow butter.

For a moment, Izzian thought he might enjoy being small like the Fester Tails. He could fit into any space, or sneak out of his house when he chose. He could sleep during class and probably cuss nonstop, being too small to see or hear.

He quickly changed his mind, however. Izzian was living with a Firithian, after all. He knew how tiresome it became to constantly gaze upwards for fear of being stepped upon and squashed.

Izzian took one bite of a tea biscuit and quietly spit it into his cup while pretending to take another drink. Others around the table caught on to Izzian's trick. Soon, everyone except Laddie was furtively spitting wads of stale, half chewed tea biscuits into their cups.

"I remember this fine china," said Laddie, as he happily drank the foul brew and munched away on the musty old biscuits. "My sweet Natasha has remained as beautiful as the china and as beautiful as the day I met her," he said, his thick Russian sounding accent adding to the romantic statement. Izzian wondered if a Russian accent would help him with Eliza. _Not likely, he thought._

"Oh Vladdie, you old dog. You can thank Mr. Hulla Baloo for erasing many of my wrinkles. You should've seen me before his miraculous night time face lifts," Yarn said, playfully slapping Laddie on the knee.

"I've had this china for over a hundred years," she announced with pride. "I purchased it from a man in the Lagrinia System for twenty Splicots. Gosh, today this china must be worth a fortune."

Eyebrows were raised in puzzlement. Questions sat on the tip of several tongues as Yarn gushed on about her fine china that seemed to have seen better days.

Gala's own tea cup had a two inch shard poking out from the handle and she kept scratching her hand each time she took a sip. Enot's saucer had even drawn blood at one point, when he impulsively brushed away a wayward biscuit crumb.

The group continued to pretend they were ingesting the foul liquids and nibbling on the disgusting biscuits, but everyone except Yarn and Laddie looked longingly at the feast laid out before the Fester Tails. They were a clever bunch, those Fester Tails, for bringing their own chef.

In spite of the comical tea cups and mismatched saucers, the atmosphere in Leon's cabin was wrought with tension. The reality of the Klesian situation hung in the air. Each person wanted to fix the problem, but no one wanted to shrink.

Thilillian had moved closer to Enot and Hulla, ready to lend a mathematical hand when needed. Hulla was jotting notes, making marks and discussing the finer points of Enot's observations.

To Izzian, Thil looked more alive and happier than she had moments ago; closer to the girl he'd known back home. Except now, Thil bore an air of humility absent in her previous self. It softened the girl and made her more approachable.

Eliza seethed as she noticed Izzian grinning, watching his Klesian girlfriend working with Enot and the little Mr. Baloo. Izzian had sworn that Thil was not his _girlfriend_ , but Eliza didn't believe him. He saw Eliza giving him the stink eye, yet again and she had obviously misunderstood the reason for his grinning. He wished Eliza would just get over it already.

The earth girl was still quite furious with Izzian, and both were noticeably sweating from holding back unsaid accusations and suppressed emotions. Neither would apologize first and each thought it was the other's place to do so.

Izzian was sorry for lying to Eliza for months, but he'd had no choice. Plus, he was going to confess everything anyways; he was just beaten to the punch. Eliza was sorry and did feel bad for acting so snarky to both Izzian and Thilillian, but her anger had gotten the best of her.

She was angry at being lied to and angry about Thil always kissing on Izzian. She hated the way Izzian seemed to excuse every mistake the girl had made, and how Paksha just stared at Thil with his mouth hanging open like a Glotfish.

Eliza chided herself for thinking like Izzian and throwing out some strange alien word like _Glotfish_. She assumed that a Glotfish was some stupid fish from Klesia. Most of all, Eliza grudgingly admitted to herself, she was angry for being jealous of Thilillian. Eliza was just a girl from earth. How could she possibly compare to an especially gorgeous alien girl with oodles of confidence and brains?

Suddenly Eliza's self-criticism shamed her. When the evil twin Link had referred to Eliza as "just a girl," she'd gotten so angry, she was able to escape Lucas's grip. She promised herself to work on her confidence. After all, a girl from earth could conquer the world if she so chose, or even the universe.

Vladimir broke the silence. His booming voice caused the others to jump, rattling their mismatched saucers and tea cups together.

"Is time for discussion," he said with his accent adding a note of command. "We must pick one person to travel by shuttle to little Klesia and reprogram big telescope."

Even through Vladimir's thick accent and chopped language, the others understood his proclamation. It was a dangerous job. The person responsible for reprogramming the Al203 Telescope would be placed directly in harm's way. No one knew exactly what would happen when the two telescopes were realigned lens to lens, but according to Enot, the scenario was a grim one.

Enot had theorized that the person manning the telescope would shrink while the rest of the entire Klesian population would return to their rightful size. Still furiously scribbling away on his calculations, while attempting to balance his square tea cup onto a domed shaped saucer, Enot made an announcement.

"No matter how I rework my formula, it always ends up the same. Whichever one of us enters my calculations into the Al203 will end up shrinking. Thilillian, Mr. Baloo and I agree on this. They have both been a great help, as has Leon for verifying my math," Enot paused.

"But we do agree that while the shrunken Klesians should return to normal size, one of us will end up shrinking in the process. There's really no way around it."

"What about transforming? What if we used Yarn's Trans-Form-It V.2 and made one of us twice as large, then once the telescopes realigned, that person would shrink back to normal size?" Gala asked.

Enot shook his head and frowned. "I'm afraid you can't completely trick biology, Gala. Thilillian, why don't you explain why shape shifting or transforming would not work? That was your department after all."

Thilillian nervously cleared her throat and spoke. "Enot's right. You see, math doesn't lie and the numbers don't add up. When a person transforms his or her shape, it's really more of an illusion. Like Izzian turning human. While he may appear to be an earthling, deep down in his cells, he's still a Klesian. His blood is green."

Gala nodded her head, agreeing with Thilillian. "That makes sense. The person that performs this deed must be in his or her true form. There are too many variables...too many things that could go wrong if that person shape shifts beforehand."

It was terribly quiet in the cabin as each person examined his or her own courage and questioned who should go to Klesia to reprogram the Al203. No one volunteered and a doomed pallor hung over the group.

Suddenly, everyone started speaking all at once, as was becoming the habit of the group; pure stunned silence suddenly exploding in fits of angst and ideas.

"I cannot possibly go," one person said. "I'm not good with an airboard and I'll probably just mess it up," another was heard saying. "If only we had a robot..."

The arguments escalated until no one person could actually be heard. Accusations were thrown, disagreements abounded, but the group was getting no closer to an answer.

"I'll do it." A small voice emanated over noisy contradictions and the rattle of tea cups clattering in uneven saucers.

The room became hushed. The taller beings looked down, wondering who the hero could be. Using Leon's microphonic invention, a tiny voice had broken through all of the fighting and yelling. The others looked away in disgrace for not volunteering before the smallest person on the ship.

It was a Fester Tail that spoke up first. It was a Fester Tail that volunteered to put himself in harm's way for the good of Klesia. A tiny, trifling, seemingly irrelevant Fester Tail put every other being to shame.

***

~~YARN DARNS A STORY~~

As our story winds itself to the beginning of the end, it may be time to let you in on a little secret; more of a covenant perhaps, a promise, a pledge. Since most enlightened aliens are not as enlightened as they would have us all believe, the Fester Tails are placed into the category of mythical beings. Not much is known about the species that disbands bullies and endeavors to save Klesia.

Oh, but we know the truth. The Fester Tails are real, a fact made evident by the tribe currently residing on my SpacePod. What character trait is present in Mr. Hulla Baloo, do you think, that makes him volunteer to shrink to oblivion? The Klesians have the Order of the Compassionate Citizens of the Universe, the CCU. The earthlings have several commandments that they preach about. But what makes a Fester Tail so darn helpful?

Well, the Fester Tails don't need a written decree to nudge them toward the right decision. Their history is long and treacherous and unlike many civilizations, Fester Tails pay attention-and their memories are infinite.

It would take at least ten thousand more words to accurately describe the saga of the Fester Tails, and our story is nearing an end. We have neither the time, nor the paper required to truly delve into past events that shaped their small society.

Know this: Fester Tails are the selfless helpers of the universe. When a young Fester Tail reaches a certain age, she or he must embark on a journey, a mission of sorts. Similar to Izzy's Goodwill Project, a young Fester must seek out an alien or a planet in need and offer assistance.

The difference between a Goodwill Project and a Fester's mission is that the Fester Tail youngling must take action or inspire others into action, whereas Izzian is only on earth to observe and learn.

Of course, we all know by now that our Izzian is in the middle of his own mission of mercy, even though he never sought it out. The Festers seek trouble and destruction and strive to fix it all. They dislike disorder and prefer the universes to run smoothly. It is in their very nature to solve problems.

So, was it happenstances that brought the little people to my ship or were they on some grand mission to iron out the wrinkles of the universe? You could ask Muriel and Signal Minor, but I doubt they'd answer. I've found that the smaller beings are rather secretive and tightlipped about their plans; a trait shared by old Yarn. They just do what they do and the rest of us follow.

Even though we all may be simply playing a part in the play written by the Fester Tail people, our actions are our own. Do you think my ship of fools, I mean aliens, will allow Mr. Baloo to possibly shrink so much he might vanish entirely? Or will we all behave like _Compassionate Citizens of the Universe_ and urge the little man not to reprogram the telescope?

I for one am utterly inspired by Hulla Baloo's offer, but I have my suspicions that the tribe of little people is not stupid when it comes to psychology. If you ever happen to run into a batch of Festers, you'd be wise to assume they know more than they are letting on- a recurring theme in the saga of the Fester Tails it seems.

***

CHAPTER 34

*HEROS COME IN ALL SHAPES...AND SIZES*

Yarn explained to Hulla Baloo, the tiniest Fester Tail of them all, that he could not possibly travel to Klesia and reprogram the Al203 Telescope. He would shrink to oblivion.

Noticing the look of sheer disappointment on Hulla Baloo's face, Eliza quickly tried to comfort the tiny man. "That was a courageously brave thing to offer, Mr. Baloo. You are certainly a valiant little Fester Tail." She bent down to the tiny figure and kissed him gently on the head.

If anyone else had used the word "little" to describe Hulla, they would have found something nasty floating around in their coffee the next morning. But since the statement had come from Eliza, the Fester Tail mechanic couldn't have been happier and he blushed to an alarming shade of red.

Izzian noticed the interlude between Eliza and Hulla and winced as every jealous bone in his body ached. He must have looked like a jealous boyfriend because Eliza grinned with satisfaction, content to give him a taste of his own medicine.

He whispered loudly, "A Fester Tail? Come on Eliza, it's okay to like guys that are shorter than you, but this guy's barely as big as your nose."

Although no one noticed, due to the man's smaller stature, Hulla Baloo danced around in circles with fists up, ready for a fight. Apparently, the Fester Tail had heard Izzian's comment about being the size of a nose. Hulla was prepared to defend his own honor.

"I'm sure it's really none of your business," Eliza said curtly to Izzian.

"It's not my business if you make a fool of yourself," Izzian mumbled.

"It is called being polite, Izzian Klowosky. And at least I'm not a liar," Eliza whispered back ferociously.

"We can hear you both," said Yarn.

"So can we," said Signal and Muriel Minor into the microphonic device, simultaneously along with every other being on the ship.

Yarn looked at the entire group and said, "Now is not the time for petty arguments. We have two planets full of tiny Klesians to save, remember? Hulla, you truly are a brave hero, but it just cannot be you."

"I'll do it," Izzian volunteered, not sure if he was trying to act brave or to show up the little Fester Tail and perhaps receive a kiss from Eliza for volunteering. A kiss would probably feel better than a thump, he assumed.

"It's my home planet and I should be the one to reprogram the Al203. It's probably my fault that it happened in the first place."

As Izzian spoke, he grew more certain that he should be the one. "I might have jostled Mr. Seebot as he was typing on the Al203 airboard. I could be the cause of this entire disaster," he grudgingly admitted.

The elders on the ship disagreed, however. "It's not your fault, Izzian," said Gala.

"No, it was Mr. Seebot's fault for trying to be too organic and typing the equations by hand," Thilillian ventured.

"We cannot place blame entirely on the wretched Mr. Seebot, as much as I'd like to," said Yarn. "Perhaps the rudimentary telescopic devices were a bad idea in the first place. Any piece of technology with that much power and the ability to shrink a population with the accidental push of a button should never have been created without specific safeguards, if at all.

"But sadly, Izzian, you lack even the slightest ability to program the Al203 and you would probably end up causing greater damage," Yarn finished.

Enot agreed, saying, "You have your whole future ahead of you, Izzian. You can't go through the rest of your life as small as a Fester Tail. No offense," Enot added, aiming the comment at the smallest people in the room.

Izzian thought he noticed a small sigh of relief escape from Eliza's lips when the entire group agreed that Izzian was not the best choice for the job. Either that or she had belched as a result of the horrid tea and stale biscuits. Still, he felt good for volunteering.

"Well then, let me go," said Thilillian as she stood to make her point. "It's my fault just as much as Izzian's and I have tons of experience reprogramming the telescope. I know the darned thing better than Mr. Seebot. Plus, I could repay my debt and be forgiven for my crime of stowing away on the comet."

"No Thilillian, you shouldn't be the one," Eliza said to the surprise of everyone present. So far, Eliza had shown little support to the runaway alien known as Thil.

"You have repaid your debt, I'd wager to think. After all, you helped us fight Lucas and Link, even though you were scared senseless. It was _you_ that helped Enot with the formulas and such. No, I think it should be an earth girl that goes to Klesia. I think it should be me."

Suddenly, the tides had turned. Every person on Leon decided that it was his or her duty to reprogram the Al203 Telescope. Every hand rose to state their case and every person was denied the opportunity for one reason or another.

The Fester Tails were already too small. The teens were too young. Yarn and Laddie were too old and hadn't they just recently rediscovered one another after all those years apart? No, that wouldn't be fair.

Izzian knew for certain that Mrs. Kleevox, his old Klesian teacher, would be quite proud of this group of Compassionate Citizens of the Universe. The fate of Klesia was in each of their hands and every being had offered to help. It was way better than people arguing why they, personally, were not the right choice.

Finally, the last person spoke up. The enormous Firithian woman had so far kept quietly to herself, so the group was startled to hear her voice. "It has got to be me," said Mrs. Able Mabel Jesset, previously of Sudden Bluff Home for Mental Health.

"No, Mrs. Jesset. Sit down. You've just gotten your freedom. You can't risk that, not ever again," said Gala, gently touching the Firithian's two and a half foot knee cap.

Enot smiled at Gala's obvious concern for Mrs. Jesset. Gala noticed the smile and blushed.

"No," Mrs. Jesset forcefully reiterated. Her bellowing Firithian voice shook the walls. "This young woman saved my life," she said, pointing to Gala, "and it's time to pay it forward as they say on earth. I've been in that mental home for too many years, wasting away my life, forgetting who I really am.

"I suffered away in shame, locked in human form for too long. Do you know that I had myself convinced for quite some time that I was imagining being a Firithian? I was ashamed at being so different from everyone else on earth. I was ashamed to be myself, so I vowed to never change into my true Firithian form and eventually, I just forgot who I really was."

Everyone listened to Mrs. Able Mabel Jesset as she unhappily lived the last several years of her life on earth, growing stronger with each admission.

"I didn't believe that I could be accepted as something different. I thought I wasn't good enough. But now, thanks to Gala and to all of you, I see that differences abound. Not one person on this ship is exactly like the other. We are a hodgepodge group, and it's our hodgepodge-ed nature that has allowed us to solve the riddle and eventually save Klesia."

Mrs. Jesset paused to wipe away a very large tear that threatened to wash away the Fester Tail people.

She continued, "You, the Fester Tail people, I didn't even know you existed until today. I always thought you were simply a child's fantasy and look at you; the most clever of us all.

"And you, Izzian Klowosky, are the bravest Klesian boy of all time. Not only did you accept me as your first ever Firithian roommate, but you never once complained when I stepped on you. Most importantly, you never judged me.

"And your friends, Paksha, Eliza and Thil, you all show such devotion, such loyalty. Any Firithian royal would want you by their side during a battle." The group of teens sat up proudly at Mrs. Jesset's compliments.

Able Mabel continued, "And Leon, look at you. Leon you surprise me how human you really seem. Your emotions and tenderness have allowed us all to become one big happy family.

"Enot's brains and Gala's caring, passionate nature have freed this old Firithian woman from a lifetime of regret," Mrs. Jesset said, patting Gala's hand.

Enot gazed affectionately at his co-pretend parent, realizing the old Firithian was correct in her description of Gala. For the first time, Enot finally understood what it meant to be a true Compassionate Citizen of the Universe. Gala had shown him that.

"And Mr. Vladimir, Laddie, you have cheered me up more times than I can count over the years, with your Nosey Nightingale Nectar and Strawberry Yak Sap. Your snow cones bring the town some much needed childishness. Yarn, without your meddlesome ways, Izzian would be stuck on earth for a long time, never able to be his true self either," Mrs. Jesset said.

"All of you, all of us really, have extreme differences," Able Mable extended her large, clumsy hand and allowed her tentacles to unfold and wave about the room.

"A Firithian's tentacles are more accurate than the most precise laser in the universe. That's why we make fantastic surgeons. These lovely tentacles will allow me to easily and efficiently reprogram the Al203 Telescope and save Klesia," she finished.

Everyone watched Mrs. Jesset reach a tentacle towards the Fester Tail table. She latched onto a very small tea cup. With ease, the old Firithian picked up the tiny cup and brought it to her large lips. Her tentacles tipped the miniature cup back, and Mrs. Jesset swallowed the remainder of the hot chocolate in Muriel Minor's cup. The group applauded, astounded at the precision of Mrs. Jesset's skilled appendages.

"Ahh," she exclaimed, licking her lips, "Delicious. It's nice to have something that tastes so good after that swill we were served earlier." Yarn gave a grumpy harrumph at the insult, but soon began smiling with the rest of them.

"Also, as you can plainly see, I am rather large to begin with," said Mrs. Jesset, sitting hunched over in the corner of Leon, "and I will shrink, but I'll still be big."

Everyone was surprised at Mrs. Jesset's speech and no one thought she had it in her. It turned out she did. The group mulled over her kind words and flawless strategy. Soon the sounds of murmuring mumbling filled the cabin's air while the group verbally discussed Mabel's idea. The whole gang agreed that the lovely Firithian was the perfect choice for the job.

It was settled. The large Firithian, Mrs. Able Mabel Jesset, formerly of earth, would be the hero that saved all of Klesia and Klesia Moon Prime.

***

~~YARN'S SPACELOG ENTRY~~

It may seem silly for old Yarn to interrupt the story here, since it's flowing so nicely with me already in it, but someone has to tell you how it all ended. Oh, I'm just joking with you, it's not over yet. Allow a little old lady to her whimsies now and again, will ya?

To everyone's surprise, but probably not much of a surprise to the Fester Tails, old Able Mabel Jesset volunteered to be the hero. Remember at the beginning of our story when we tried to guess who our likely hero might be? Didn't I mention that heroism can arise from an unlikely sort? It seems I was right about that. The giant Firithian woman will definitely shrink, but who knows how small she'll really get?

For all we know, she may shrink so small that she'll disappear. I suppose it is a chance Mrs. Jesset is willing to take. The Fester Tails knew she would be an important player and urged Leon to assist Gala during the Great Mental Patient Escape. Even though the Fester Tails continue to boggle my mind, I'm certainly glad they caught me.

Signal and Muriel Minor promise Izzian that if the realignment of the telescopes fails, and the Klesians remain small, they have a back-up plan. The Fester Tails will live on Klesia and help the Klesians rebuild their world for a smaller race and learn how to live as tiny people. Not only are they a most intelligent batch of aliens, but they are also considerate.

Speaking of the opposite type of person, the inconsiderate Mr. Laddie of SnowCone Haven has forsaken me and decided to remain on earth, serving up slushy sweets to sweaty children. Although Laddie confessed his undying love for Natasha, he admitted to being unfamiliar with this Yarn person.

After thumping Mr. Laddie on the head, a trait I learned from Eliza, I kissed him on the cheek, a trait I learned from Thil, and agreed. All of it seemed to disgust Izzian to the point of doubling over with stomach cramps. Despite Izzy's bellyaching, Laddie and old Yarn hugged and decided to take it slow.

Plus, Mrs. Jesset's kind words during her long speech caused Laddie to reconsider abandoning the children of Sudden Bluff. We've lived without each other for this long, what's a few more months anyways?

We are officially dating, Laddie and I. Although we still call each other Vladimir and Natasha on occasion, we agreed to get to know each other as Laddie and Yarn. Anyway, after this whole Klesian fiasco is over, I will swing by earth to pick up Laddie. Together, we will visit the Grand Canyon...or the metal spiked fields of Planet Ustopia Ori Cutya Two, either one.

But enough about my love life...

Let's allow the story of old Mrs. Jesset's heroism to unfold. I'm thinking about closing my eyes when the realignment occurs, but then again, I can't wait see what happens.

***

CHAPTER 35

*PEACE OUT, EARTH*

The group of aliens, humans and Fester Tails stood on the bluff near Leon's boarding ramp. Tear-filled goodbyes were given, complete with hugging, arm punching and a few meaningful name mispronunciations.

Yarn explained that Leon would travel much faster with fewer beings on board and that. Mrs. Jesset weighed so much already, they would have to leave a few passengers behind. Paksha, Eliza and Laddie were the logical choices.

Paksha's mom would ground her son for twenty years if he sailed away into space and Laddie had a business to run; an earth business. Eliza belonged on earth too, since she happened to have the misfortune of being a human.

Leon and would deliver the remaining travelers most of the way to Klesia Moon Prime. They would hover far enough away from Klesia and its moon in case the grand plan failed. Leon's smaller shuttle, referred to as Lil' Leon, would deliver Mrs. Jesset the remaining distance to the planet's surface.

As soon as Able Mabel shifted the Klesians back to regular size, and if nothing major exploded, big Leon would land at Comet Central Station. Izzian, Gala, Enot and Thil would then be able to go home. Finally, they could reunite with their friends and family, who with any luck would be normal sized by that point.

Hopefully, Klesia and Klesia Moon Prime would not be too damaged by the shrinking of the entire population. Some rebuilding and cleanup would no doubt be needed; and some lengthy explanations.

Paksha was a little upset he was doomed to remain on earth; he was dying to set foot on an alien planet. But Eliza had remained mysteriously quiet about being left behind.

"It is okay," Paksha said as he shook Izzian's hand. "My mother would totally freak if I disappeared. I know I am already grounded. I don't have to be Preytell like Eliza to know that. I did text mom and tell her I was okay and that a friend needed my help.

"I also told her that I was growing up and she needed to lighten up a little. Not such a great idea to text that kind of thing to your mother, by the way. Can you imagine how a phone call would have gone? I wouldn't have been able to utter a single word."

The two boys laughed, but Izzian felt bad knowing that Paksha had it coming to him the minute he got home.

"Yes, I'm sorry about that Paksha," Izzian said.

"Oh please! It was all so worth it! Plus, when my mom grounds me, it's usually from old TV shows and friends. Eliza is the only friend I have right now, and she'll find a way to sneak into my house, I am sure. I always get to keep my laptop, and that's all I really need," Paksha said as he patted the laptop stashed in his backpack.

Izzian understood he'd finally gotten the thing he'd fought for that day in Mrs. Kleevox's office. He had an earth brother. Although Paksha was his trusted, best male friend, Izzian did not particularly like the idea of Eliza sneaking into his earth brother's room.

"I am only kidding Izzian. You know my mother would have a heart attack if a girl snuck into my room. I just wanted to see your reaction. You turn green when you get jealous," Paksha said, relieving Izzian of his worries and slapping him on the back.

"Remember," Izzian said, referring to Paksha's laptop, "thanks to the modifications we made on your computer, you will usually be able to post messages for Yarn and Leon, and as soon as we save Klesia, you should be able to send Freemails to me and Thil. And Laddie is staying behind, so you'll have another friend on earth."

"I almost forgot," said Paksha with a wide grin. "We solved our Lucas and Link problem. I'll be crawling with friends."

It was almost unbelievable that Eliza had terrified the evil twins into behaving by rolling off the side of the bluff. Her abilities as a Preytell had come in handy, but some would say it had been a miracle.

It was even more unreal that some rogue Slunt Notte had swished the twins away and deposited them in the town square, totally embarrassed. Lucas and Link would never act up again, knowing that a strange creature resided in the woods, ready to pounce if they did. The Slunt Notte's true identity remained a mystery, but Izzian was happy just knowing Paksha and Eliza would be safe.

"One more thing," said Paksha. "I apologize for threatening to call the cops on you. I just had to make certain you weren't trying to invade earth, implant us with alien larvae, and turn us into mindless zombies. You understand. Forgive me?"

Izzian laughed. He hardly blamed Paksha for freaking out like he did.

"Considering the circumstances," Izzian said, "you handled things really well. Oh, and I know many earthlings that are already mindless zombies, so...wouldn't be much of a change," joked Izzian.

"I almost forgot," added Izzian. He reached into his ratty old backpack and handed over Paksha's favorite video game, _Alien Abduction_. "And just so you'll know, there are only a few known species of aliens that actually procreate with larvae. And they despise you humans and your filthy body cavities, so you're safe for the time being."

He shook Paksha's hand, but his earth brother pulled Izzian in for a hug. He'd miss his friendship with Paksha. No one else laughed at Izzian's jokes or made him laugh as much as the curly-headed earth boy with glasses.

"Goodbye, Izzian," said Paksha. "I'll think about you every time I play Alien Abduction."

"I'll be back," the alien boy said with an optimism he barely felt.

Izzian's Goodwill Project had been drastically cut short. Whether or not he returned to earth for the school year would be a decision left up to the elders of Klesia. With everything that needed to be sorted out back home, Izzian doubted he'd have the chance to suffer through English class with Mrs. Maddlington on earth.

He felt vaguely disappointed, realizing he was actually looking forward to comparing the devious Mr. Muckleback of Klesia to the evilly renowned teacher of earth. On the other hand, he felt relieved to have escaped the clutches of Aloris J. Maddlington.

Izzian shook the hand of Laddie who vowed to create snow cones in honor of his new friends. The first would be called Alien Apple Tart. Another would be called Eliza's Egg Salad.

Immediately, Laddie questioned naming a snow cone after an egg salad. He confessed he needed more time to work out a better sounding name and flavor than egg salad. Laddie also promised to keep in contact with Izzian. The green boy agreed to stop by for a visit the minute he landed on earth again, if ever.

"Are you ready, Izzian?" Yarn asked, quickly boarding her ship. She hated saying goodbye and considered each farewell to be bad luck.

Yarn stood upon Leon's ramp, waving her hand. With a mischievous glimmer in her eyes, the older woman made a somewhat perplexing statement. "I'm sure I'll be seeing all of you. You may not see me, but I'll be watching..." After her self-assured comment, Yarn abruptly turned and leapt through the door of her ship with the agility of a woman half her age, however old that might be.

Izzian remained in the forest, knowing that he still had one more goodbye to give- the most important goodbye yet. He looked over the aliens and humans gathered on the edge of the bluff. He couldn't find her.

His heart pounded in his chest. He panicked, afraid he had missed her, afraid of leaving without saying goodbye. Suddenly, Izzian felt a painful thump on the back of his head, and there stood Eliza Allready.

"Later loser," Eliza said jokingly, knowing how many times those words had been thrown at them both over the summer.

"Yea, later E-looser Allready, you old Glotfish," said Izzian, returning the playful banter that they had both come to enjoy.

"What's a Glotfish anyways?" Eliza asked.

Izzian waited for the old familiar unwelcome insults and unbidden answers to appear in front of his eyes. He realized his plascreen had become curiously silent since he'd been onboard Leon.

"Well, it's a fairly descriptive name. A Klesian Glotfish forms legs in order to hunt on land. It makes this stupid sound like glut, glut, glut."

Eliza rolled her eyes, and said, "You Klesians are real original, man."

"Izzy, we need to get going. It will take a while to get to our neck of the universe. Let's get a move on," Gala said as she pushed him towards the door of the ship.

"In a second," he turned, responding to his pretend mother, sounding very much like a non-pretend, petulant child.

Izzian turned back to Eliza, prepared to be on the receiving end of a sticky handshake. He discovered he was alone. Eliza had already left. His heart sunk, his stomach ached, knowing those were the last word he might ever utter to the most important earthling he knew.

His last conversation with his best friend of all time and he had rattled off some useless information about the hunting rituals of the stupid Glotfish.

Dejectedly, he headed for Leon's door, realizing he had probably ruined the best relationship of his life. Yarn noticed the miserable look on Izzian's face and reached for a hug.

Yarn was not a very social person. Hugs were not on her agenda. Izzian knew it took a lot for the woman to physically reach out to him.

He reciprocated, even though he was not much of a hugger himself. It felt good to be comforted. Izzian realized how much he missed his mother and vowed to never again turn away from a mom offering a hug.

"You will see the girl again, that I can promise," Yarn said, as she discreetly wiped away her own rare tears. "Do you know how much I hated leaving that man on earth?" Yarn asked, referring to Vladimir/Laddie, her long lost love.

"For years I thought I had ruined our relationship. For years I thought I had lost the best friend I ever had. All that lost time blaming myself for not saying the right thing or saying too many wrong things, was lost time.

"Now, old Yarn may not be the most sentimental being in the universe, but I can tell you that none of that matters. The only thing that matters is that you did the best you could. You may not think you were the best friend to Eliza that you could have been, but none of us is perfect. We are all only human, after all; sort of. You get my gist," she laughed.

Yarn cackled at her terminology, but Izzian understood what she was saying; no matter the species, we all had our faults, and Eliza was still his friend despite them all.

He strapped himself into Leon's newly formed furniture and reached back to touch the last memory he had of Eliza- the sore spot on the back of his head.

He pulled his hand away, curiously studying his fingers. Izzian allowed himself a hearty laugh, realizing Eliza had smeared syrupy goo on the back of his head. It was her way of saying goodbye. _Good one, Eliza Allready._

***

~~CAPTAIN'S LOG: STARSHIP LEON~~

Captain Yarn here, telling all about our departure from earth into outer space. As a group, we are currently traveling to the Klesian Quadrant. Mrs. Jesset will then depart upon Lil' Leon, the shuttle belonging to Big Leon, and complete the remaining distance to Klesia Moon Prime alone. The rest of us will only be able to watch Able Mabel from a safe distance and hope for success.

Although Leon may be blasting through space at unfathomable speeds, he can keep his passengers comfortably stable. I confess I do not understand much of the mechanics that go into space travel, but I do know that Leon is particularly good at it.

Most of his passengers have been lulled to sleep in personal living compartments he has formed, keeping in mind each person's particular size and shape.

The Fester Tails are all buried, deep within the wires and cables. One could assume they are either eating a world class gourmet feast, or snoring away in tiny, beautifully decorated rooms with miniature Temper-Sleeperific mattresses.

Mrs. Able Mabel Jesset sleeps in the aft section of the ship, after some necessary resizing and reformation on Leon's part. He lowered his floors, rounded out the roof, and was thoughtful enough to include vases filled with lovely flowers. For obvious reasons, Leon declined to add Moonflowers. Black Winny may not be real, but then again, why tempt fate? Anyway, Mabel deserves that and more for the task she will soon undertake.

Izzian is snuggled comfortably in a cubby near the cabin, snoring away, enjoying his human nose for a little while longer; while Enot and Gala are in the break room, heads together, looking as if they are falling in love. I saw _that_ coming from a mile away, I assure you. Enot and Gala will soon tire as well. Leon has devised individual rooms for them-on opposite ends of the ship, of course.

Our beautiful Thilillian sleeps and wakes in fits now in a snug, form-fitting bed, rather than an old rickety tree house. She still relives old nightmares of her lonely ventures on earth.

Thil prefers to bunk with a female friend that we have surreptitiously snuck onboard. The friends stay in the upper most deck of the ship, near the viewing port where the stars are always visible; a spot normally reserved for old Yarn. In this case, I've made an exception.

I have returned to my proper place at Leon's control panel in my comfortable plaid recliner, gazing into the universe with a my own little hitchhiker, Eliza Allready. We are both too excited to sleep; her having never seen the universe via space travel, and myself, enjoying the task of showing it to her.

Leon temporarily slows as we pass by the Famien Constellation. Eliza and I squeal like little girls as the view changes. The little firelights of the constellation resemble glowing snowflakes, gracefully swirling and dancing before our eyes.

I am positive I recognize one of the creatures. It twirls round and round my viewport, hovers momentarily and then flitters away. I think it was Thomas, or perhaps Bill. We decide to make hot chocolate and I offer to set out some biscuits, but my friend Eliza politely declines, most likely full from dinner.

It is nice to spy on the universe _with_ her, instead of _at_ her. My little stowaway is headed for Klesia. With help from the Fester Tails, we have devised a plan. Well, it's more like a little lie.

As far as Eliza's father knows, she has left Sudden Bluff to study abroad for a year- all true. The fact that she will be studying abroad on an alien planet, rather than Europe, is one small detail she failed to mention to her father.

The tiny fib has been meticulously planned down to the last detail. Eliza's father is certain that his daughter is safe, has guardians, and the most important truth of all, she's happy. Mr. Allready accepted his daughter's proposals, aware that she has always been the independent sort.

Reminds me a little of...well, me.

Eliza and I laugh when we imagine the look on Izzian's face when he discovers Leon has hidden her onboard. Eliza quietly places a sticky, used Popsicle stick within the blankets of Izzian's bed as he sleeps. We tip toe out of his room, stifling our giggles.

Soon, Eliza will be one of the few earthlings to set foot on Klesia Moon Prime and I couldn't be happier about that. Yes, there are a few earthlings roaming the universe, believe it or not. Hopefully, our plan will work and the Klesians will be large enough for Eliza to see. We will know soon enough.

***

CHAPTER 36

*KLESIA MOON PRIME TIME*

"That's it Eliza," Leon said. "Now, when you steer manually around asteroids, you always have to assume they are inhabited and therefore go around. No matter how small the rocks may look, you never know what might live inside."

"Careful...a little to the right," added Yarn, the worst kind of backseat driver.

The boy had been asleep for quite some time and imagined he was dreaming. Due to the tiring adventures on earth and because long space ventures bored him to death, Izzian Klowosky rarely stayed awake long enough to see the Famien Constellation.

Izzian rubbed his eyes in disbelief as the girl known as Eliza Allready, earthling, was perched at Leon's console, apparently steering the ship.

"Am I still asleep?" Izzian asked no one in particular.

He rubbed the final bit of sleepy from his eyes and refocused. Sure enough, Eliza remained in her position sitting at the console, steering Leon through a field of asteroids.

Scratching his head in disbelief, he came to the realization that the vision truly was a girl and not a mirage. As he removed his hand from his tangled hair, Izzian yanked out one old discarded Popsicle stick. Only one person in the universe would place a used, sticky Popsicle stick in his hair, and she had been steering the ship.

A loud voice seemingly erupted out of thin air, startling the boy. "No, Mr. Klowosky. You are not still sleeping and it's high time you were awake. We have a mission to complete, remember?"

Izzian looked toward the direction of the loud voice and noted Hulla Baloo speaking into the microphonic device. He covered his ears as the little Fester Tail continued speaking, cursing Leon for inventing the annoying sound amplifier.

"We are in the Klesian Quadrant and only an hour or so from your Al203 Telescope. Please, take a shower, brush your teeth and join us. Again, I stress the fact that you need a shower young man," Hulla reiterated, covering his wee nose in disgust.

"Please stop yelling," Izzian mumbled.

Hulla Baloo's earsplitting voice only added to his already forming headache. Izzian wondered if he belonged in the mental hospital. Everyone was acting perfectly normal about Eliza sitting at the front console, steering the ship.

Izzian approached the cockpit of the ship and spoke, "You're here?"

"Yes, of course. What did you expect?" Eliza replied.

She and Thilillian looked at one another and rolled their eyes. He wondered when the two girls had gotten so chummy; apparently it had occurred as he slept the entire way from earth.

He was still groggy, his thoughts jumbled and uncertain. Izzian decided a shower might clear his head. At the least, a blast of water might help him comprehend why Eliza was driving a SpacePod bound for Klesia Moon Prime.

Hulla's small-sized insinuations had also made him largely self-conscious. Izzian sniffed his armpits and suppressed a gag.

He quickly showered and grabbed a ripe apriguavo, greeting his old pals as he passed each one. Mrs. Jesset hugged the boy immediately, nearly collapsing his rib cage. Enot and Gala each grabbed a hand and walked him back to Leon's cabin area.

Thilillian kept her distance, offering only a formal handshake. Apparently, Thil had realized all of her kisses were seriously annoying her new friend Eliza.

Eliza stood, handing over control of the ship to Yarn. She pulled Izzian in for a close hug. "I missed you, turd," she said, squeezing him even tighter.

Izzian turned green with embarrassment and said, "Me too, Glotfish."

"That's more like it," Eliza said as she inspected the green sheen of his skin.

She did a twirl, similar to the twirl she performed back on earth while wearing her sinister clown costume. With joy, Eliza said, "You see? I'm not human looking anymore. I'm transforming to Klesian. I got a big old shot in my arm, and now my skin is turning green like yours, Izzy! Paksha would be so jealous. I've already Freemailed a picture to him."

"You tricked me, though. Why couldn't you just tell me you were shape shifting and travelling to Klesia Moon Prime?"

Eliza only giggled and said, "Where's the fun in that?"

"Nice," was all Izzian could manage to say.

He was easily confused, by females in particular, and was too grumpy to argue with Eliza. He had lied by keeping so many secrets from the girl for so long; Izzian supposed he deserved to be deceived, tit for tat.

He wanted to tell the earth girl that green skin suited her; she was beautiful as a Klesian, but he was afraid. Eliza would probably laugh away his compliment and say, "Duh," or thump him on the noggin. Plus, the time had come for Mrs. Jesset to leave. All attention needed to be on the large Firithian woman.

The group gathered around Mrs. Jesset. All biceps and triceps helped her into the shuttle that Leon and Hulla had recently resized in order to accommodate the huge woman. Even though several beings stood around the woman, fussing over this and that, Able Mabel stood at least four and half feet taller than any.

"This is it," Enot handed the woman his reprogramming notes for the Al203. "Are you sure you're familiar with these formulas?"

"Gleestix, Enot. I even memorized them as I slept, thanks to that SleepMemory Injector/Projector device Mr. Baloo invented. I don't even need your notes. I know your equations better than you," Mrs. Able Mabel Jesset said, chastising the young scientist.

"Don't feel bad, Mrs. Jesset," Izzian interjected. "Enot is...obsessive compulsive. Before our voyage to earth, he must have checked my seat straps at least a thousand times. Seriously, I had to tell the man to stop and strap himself in, or else he'd be floating around, banging his head on the ceiling when we launched. I kind of wanted to see that, actually."

The group chuckled, but Enot continued checking and rechecking the shuttle's systems, choosing to ignore Izzian's insult. Although he and Enot had become friends in a sense, it was apparent to Izzian that Enot was still seriously lacking a sense of humor. Ever the scientist, Enot finished checking the system statistics, choosing Mabel's safety over throwing his own joke into the mix.

"Well, everything checks out A-Okay. Mrs. Jesset, I thank you for your unbelievable sacrifice," Enot said, his voice wavering. He stepped towards the Firithian and formally shook her hand.

Mabel then pulled Enot into a debilitating hug and said, "You are a splendid man, Enot...Klowosky," she stammered, realizing she had no idea of Enot's true last name.

"His real name is Enot Lewga, Mrs. Jesset. I'm sure we'll have plenty of time to get to know each other better once Klesia is back to normal," Gala said, hugging the Firithian's gargantuan leg.

Mrs. Jesset strapped herself into the shuttle, smacking Enot's hands away as he struggled to check and recheck the straps. Enot found himself mushed between Mabel and the shuttle's front viewport as a final thank you for his zealous efforts.

When he realized the fix he was in, Enot calmly requested assistance. "I'm stuck. Please pull me out, carefully."

They all grabbed an arm or a leg and yanked Enot from the shuttle, laughing at the absurdity of the situation. Even Enot chuckled at least once, having been the butt of yet another joke.

The atmosphere grew somber as each realized they may never see Mrs. Jesset again. The plan was finally coming to fruition.

Acknowledging that the mood had grown entirely too dismal, Mrs. Jesset smiled cheerfully. "See you soon...losers. Peace," she added, adopting the cutting vernacular of Izzian and his friends.

The shuttle doors quickly whooshed to a close, leaving the rest of the group staring at a blank spot, already missing the Firithian they had grown to love.

Lil' Leon, the shuttle, withdrew from the wall. Big Leon quickly sealed himself around every gap and hole to prevent the rest of his passengers from being sucked out into space. Since he was a thoughtful ship, he formed a viewport in the wall where the shuttle used to sit, so Mabel's friends could watch the departure.

The shuttle hovered outside the viewport for a moment and Mrs. Jesset waved goodbye. Suddenly, she zoomed away so speedily, neither human nor alien eyes could follow. The group stood before the empty viewport searching for a clue that the shuttle had even existed in the first place. Nothing remained except the empty blackness of space.

"Paksha would have loved this," Izzian said wistfully, wondering if his old friend was still on restriction. Eliza agreed.

"Mrs. Jesset is a hero," she added, with her nose pressed against the window.

Under Leon's guidance, Mrs. Able Mabel Jesset was flying toward the planet, nearing her landing ramp at Comet Central Station; destination Klesia Moon Prime; objective, un-shrink the Klesian population.

Everything happened so quickly once Able Mabel zoomed away that Izzian barely had a chance to worry. Somehow he found the time. He worried about his ortnots and the rest of his people. He anxiously awaited the punishment that would surely arise from his role in the breaking of the telescope, along with everyone shrinking. Lastly, but no less importantly, he was terribly afraid for Mrs. Jesset. She might disappear too, thanks to his tiresome meddling that afternoon in the lab on Klesia Moon Prime.

He vowed to remain the mature, thoughtful person he had become since his arrival on earth. Izzian hoped that Ojolian, his real father, wouldn't find a reason to ground him. His worries soon melted away as he considered his new group of friends. They had stuck together and completed the impossible.

He suddenly didn't care if his dad was angry. Izzian knew he may not be a hero like Mrs. Jesset. He knew it hadn't been him, but Eliza's nerves of steel and a rogue Slunt Notte that had taught Lucas and Link a lesson in the woods of Sudden Bluff. He knew he'd had little influence on Thil's discoveries and Enot's equations for reprogramming the Al203 Telescope. And he was positive that without the guidance of Laddie, Yarn and the Fester Tails, he would have been stuck on earth for a long time.

But he also knew that he had done his part, and without him, the group wouldn't be the same. He was needed, and that gave him courage; courage to face anyone on Klesia, courage to stand up for his friends and courage to have a better relationship with his father.

"Maybe being a good person is enough," he whispered aloud, realizing that a Compassionate Citizen of the Universe was a valuable commodity in most situations.

"Izzian, where are you? Stop daydreaming about invading earth and shooting at ants with laser beams. Come help," Eliza barked.

She held his hand and pulled him away from the empty vision of space, towards the kitchen where tea was being prepared.

"And I happen to agree," Eliza said with sincerity, tightening her grip of his hand, "that being a good person is quite enough."

Izzian quickly pulled his hand away, certain it would be covered in some type of sticky goo. It wasn't. His heart soared when he realized Eliza had just wanted to hold his hand. Either that or she simply needed his help in the kitchen. He would never understand the girl, he realized yet again, wishing he had some Preytell abilities of his own.

"Here, hold this," Eliza barked again, forcing an object into his hand. It was a rectangular tea cup filled with a gooey liquid, perched atop a jagged, malformed saucer.

Slurping away on the gross beverage that Yarn called tea, Izzian solemnly vowed to always remember that no matter what life might throw his way, he would always be needed. That was something.

"I am needed," he said quietly to himself. "Even if it's only to pretend this atrocious tea is the best thing I've ever tasted."

***

~~YARN'S VERSION OF EVENTS~~

You may be wondering by now if I purposely serve foul beverages and moldy biscuits on crass china to my guests in order to hasten their departure from my ship. You may be right, as old habits die hard.

But your main concern, at this point, probably centers on the topic at hand: Was Mrs. Able Mabel Jesset able to successfully un-shrink the Klesian population and live to tell about it?

Well, Mrs. Jesset unfolded her larger than life legs from the shuttle. With all the grace of a colossal Firithian, Able Mabel trudged towards the lab and the Al203 Telescope.

We can only hope that along her journey, she didn't squash any tiny people. Perhaps we should have mentioned to the Firithian that she announce her intentions and allow any small people to run for shelter.

Regardless, she crashed through Dr. Yangsley and Mr. Seebot's laboratory, similar in appearance to the comical scene of a bull in a china shop. In other words, things got broken.

Beakers crashed to the floor and test tubes smashed against tables. The tables were also thrown to the side; such was Mabel's gracefulness in Firithian form.

_However,_ when Mrs. Jesset made it to the Al203 Telescope room, the uncivilized scene turned into a beautiful symphony. She unfurled her graceful tentacles one by one and each tentacle worked in tandem to type Enot's commands.

For those of you who are excited and interested in the technical aspect of the reprogramming of the Al203 Telescope, your time has come. Otherwise, you may want to skip ahead.

First, she had to turn the thing on, which was one of the reasons we had to send someone in person to do the job. It would have been easy to simply beam the information to the input/output receptors and reprogram the telescope from the safety of Leon. But alas, the telescope had shifted after it aligned with the telescope on the main planet, disabling any wireless communications.

Thankfully, from Yangsley's lab, Mrs. Jesset could also communicate her commands to the twin telescope on the main planet. She swished a tentacle and the airboard instantly appeared. Each of her faux arms wriggled obscenely as they entered the commands, furiously telling the Al203 Telescopes how to obey.

There appears to have been a recurring theme throughout our tale, of badly behaved twins; Lucas and link and the twin Al203 Telescopes have caused their fair share of trauma and drama. If by chance, you are a Simbiot or a twin...or a telescope...take no offense. I am certain you would not team up with your twin to bully kids or shrink an entire population.

Mrs. Jesset paused before her last command was entered. She was to tell the telescopes to align perfectly; lens to lens. This was her big moment. She typed the command and then withdrew her tentacles. Only her giant clumsy hands remained. Mrs. Jesset decided that pressing the final key, the _enter_ key, would fall to her very own index finger.

She took a deep breath, and pressed it. The ground shook when the telescope realigned; creaking and groaning as the humungous lens moved into place. On the main planet, similar sounds were heard as the opposite telescope shifted as commanded too.

Mrs. Jesset covered her eyes as a bright white flash of light shot out of the airboard, blinding her. An earsplitting screech sounded as parts collided and gears shifted into place.

The entire planet was blasted with the reflections of the lenses. The lights and the sounds were so devastating; Mrs. Jesset passed out and fell to the floor.

Staring out of Leon's viewport, the flash of light was so intense; it appeared to be a colossal explosion. Our worst fears had come true. We stood there, stunned for next few seconds, waiting to see if we had indeed caused the destruction of Klesia and Klesia Moon Prime.

Those were the worst few seconds of our lives.

***

CHAPTER 37

*THE GUARDIANS OF KLESIA*

The blinding flash of lights that could so easily be seen from Leon's viewport, dissipated quickly, leaving temporary marks on the eyes of all who'd witnessed their brilliance. After only a second's hesitation, Leon hastened over to Comet Central Station and landed. Before he'd even had a chance to announce his perfect landing, the passengers released the air locked door and shuffled out, nearly causing a stampede.

The group frantically dashed past several dazed Klesians groaning and staggering about. They only had one person on their minds at the moment. Izzian, Gala, Thil and Enot burst through the doors of Yangsley's lab, hurtling over the untidy mess, running directly for the Al203 room. The concerned friends hovered over the prone form of Able Mabel Jesset, urging her to awaken.

"Move it," said Yarn, who had followed at a respectable speed. She pushed her way through the group with Eliza on her heels. "Stop your poking and prodding and let old Yarn have a look."

Eliza handed Yarn a small vial. Yarn pulled out the stopper, and waved the brew under Mrs. Jesset's nose. Mrs. Jesset coughed, sputtered and eventually opened her eyes.

"Must have been a vial full of Yarn's tea," Izzian joked. The rest of the group eyed him with weariness. Izzian ignored the looks, content in knowing that Paksha would have laughed, had he been there.

"Did it work?" Mrs. Jesset looked around her in wonderment. "I don't think it worked. You see...I was typing in the formula, standing there, and then there was an explosion, and then I...I..."

"There, there, dearie," Yarn helped Mrs. Jesset sit up. "See, it did work! Mabel, take a look at yourself."

Mabel checked her arms, fingers and tentacles. She didn't see anything different, until Eliza sat down next to her and presented her own arm for comparison. "You see? We're the same size," Eliza said with a warm smile.

"Oh? Oh!" Mrs. Jesset exclaimed, happy to still be alive. "I confess being a more regular size will make life easier! But did it work? Are the Klesians back to normal size?"

Her circle of friends stepped back, allowing Mrs. Jesset a better view of the throngs of regular-sized Klesians surrounding her. "We did it," said Able Mabel Jesset. She fainted again.

After tending to Mrs. Jesset, the smallest Firithian in existence, Izzian and the gang were swept into a barrage of questions. Soon the questions turned to praise when the Klesians discovered Izzian and his friends were responsible for returning all of Klesia back to normal size.

The group was introduced to the President of the Council for Interplanetary Consortiums, Boojum Twoeyes. More handshaking and back slapping followed as every member of the CIC arrived.

All of the important Klesians wanted to personally and sincerely thank the heroes. Izzian was used to being treated less like a hero and more like a bother. It was entirely too surreal for the boy.

Izzian was thankful when his ortnots, Mirtheea and Ojolian Klowosky, were delivered to the lab. Mirtheea practically swooned when she saw her son being hugged by old Boojum Twoeyes. Ojolian Klowosky grunted at his wife's inappropriate swoons.

President Twoeyes briefed the group on what they should and should not say regarding their own involvement in the Al203 incident. They were to keep quiet about any accidental contribution to the malfunctioning telescopes. Izzian could finally breathe again, realizing he was not going to be blamed that day.

Izzian reached for his mother's hand, but before he could give her a proper hello, the group was quickly ushered away and dressed for an interview. They were to be broadcast live, right away, on the big-vid in the very center of downtown.

Recalling his last run-in with the big-vid, Izzian panicked. But things had changed. Now, he wasn't alone or being frantically chased and hunted down, either. He had been _invited_ to speak.

They were to briefly explain the events that had brought them home. President Boojum Twoeyes introduced the group as _The Guardians of Klesia_. As they took the stage, thunderous applause erupted from the crowds.

Mrs. Able Mabel Jesset was too shy to deal with the hubbub. She didn't enjoy being the subject of anyone's praise, but the group explained her act of heroism regardless of her humble denials of being less than heroic. The crowd murmured in disbelief at first, never having seen such a little Firithian, but soon accepted Mrs. Jesset's unusual smallness. They had been small for a while too.

The newly appointed Guardians of Klesia spoke of Leon and the Fester Tails and the significant roles they played in saving Klesia. Half of the crowd gasped in wonder, believing that Fester Tails were only mythical creatures. The other half assumed that _Leon and the Fester Tails_ were some kind of rock and roll band.

They mentioned the heroic efforts of Paksha and Laddie. Even though the two were still on earth; they'd also had a hand in the success of the mission and were dubbed The Guardians of Klesia right along with the rest.

Thilillian was allowed to extend her own apologies. She expressed an understanding that she had been terribly wrong to set off a firecracker at Comet Central. She apologized directly to the Junipean ambassador, Ela Alana for contributing to the demise of her beautiful head of hair.

Izzian even apologized to Dr. Yangsley for his behavior in the lab that day, so long ago. And Mr. Seebot, understanding that he may have earned some of the blame for shrinking the Klesians, remained silent and aloof.

Yarn introduced Eliza Allready as the new ambassador from earth. She announced that Eliza would be attending equidistant school on the main planet with Izzian. And even though there wouldn't be much cause for "ambassadorizing" with earth, since most humans didn't believe in aliens, Eliza promised to execute her duties fully and to always temper justice with mercy. Izzian rolled his eyes.

Enot and Gala publically announced their engagement, which came as a total surprise to Izzian, but the rest of the crew was not so surprised to hear about the impending nuptials. Izzian wondered what he'd missed. He had lived with the two for months and he knew Gala was in love, but he had no idea that Enot even had a heart.

Even so, Izzy looked forward to the upcoming marriage ceremony of the newest Klesian celebrity couple. Perhaps Paksha could fly out and attend the wedding celebration. He could laugh alongside Izzian when Boojum Twoeyes presented the newly married couple as Enot and Gala Oogabal-Lewga.

As the speeches and accolades came to a close, the Klesians busily prepared for the grandest feast _ever_ in the history of Klesia and Klesia Moon Prime. Shilka Beast Casseroles were baked, apriguavo slushies were concocted and all through the streets, Izzian's name was spoken. Everyone agreed that it was unusual for Izzian Klowosky to be mentioned in conjunction with such a pleasant occurrence.

It was a happy day for all. Izzian's worries about getting blamed were pushed to the side, in favor of relishing in the glory of coming home a hero. His ortnots were finally allowed to hug their son and welcome him home.

Ojolian grabbed his boy and hugged him like a Firithian, saying, "I knew you were destined for something great." Ojolian then switched to the father figure Izzian had known his entire life and added, "On the other hand, Enot told me you stayed out all night, chasing some boys through the forest. We will discuss that and a few other things at a later time. See you at home, son."

Izzian's spirit deflated for a moment, nervous about the impending doom that lay ahead, but his mother quickly squashed his concerns.

Mirtheea chastised her husband. "Oh nonsense, Ojo! Izzian is home. He is safe and he saved us all to boot. Don't think a thing about it Izzian," Mirtheea said, slathering kisses onto her son's face and scalp. And for once, Izzian did not pull away as his mother wiped at the dirt on his face and plastered down his hair with her spit.

The evening was festive, as alien parties tended to be, but that particular evening all of Klesia worked to throw the most spectacular, special party ever thrown in the history of alien-kind. Tables and chairs were scattered over the town square and every alien scurried about, searching for fresh ingredients.

It was well understood that if the Klesians had remained small for another few weeks, the planet would have been in shambles. Thankfully, the fields were full of produce and the animals had shrunk right along with the people, so they had been fed the entire time.

Apparently, The Guardians of Klesia had restored the planet and her people just in the nick of time. If they had waited any longer, Poo Season would've occurred. Without farmers to harvest crops before Poo Season, nothing substantial would've remained. Now at least they had a chance.

Mrs. Kleevox, Izzian's former teacher and her assistant Ms. Phlackjackle, organized the entertainment, claiming to best understand Izzian's taste and musical preferences. When The Guardians of Klesia arrived for the pre-dinner entertainment, Izzian was thrilled to see his favorite band, the Flaming Flitters, take the stage and perform his favorite songs.

True to their reputation, the band spontaneously ignited at the end of their performance, showering the crowds with glowing confetti made up of tiny diamonds, colored bird seed, and...pieces of Flitter creatures. The band had a high turnover rate, it seemed.

The Fester Tails were carefully placed high above the clumsiness of the rabble below, on the personal dais of President Boojum Twoeyes. President Twoeyes hosted the tribe as his Guests of Honor and was heard saying, "Signal, Muriel this is a special night, not only have your people saved Klesia, but I am honored to dine with you since Fester Tails rarely show themselves in public."

To which Muriel Minor replied, "No, we show ourselves in public, but we are so small, most people just walk right over us."

Either Mrs. Kleevox used her Preytell abilities, or she really _did_ know Izzian better than most. His old teacher and her assistant had planned the perfect evening. After the Flaming Flitters performed, the big-vid played old television reruns from earth.

Izzian finally learned how that one kid became the prince of a town called Bel Air. It reminded him of Paksha, and he wished his friend could have come to the party. When their old theme song played, Eliza and Thil looked to Izzian. They shared a nostalgic smile. Without Paksha, it seemed as if they were one limb short of a full body.

Dinner was served. Heaping mounds of barbequed Shilka Beast were piled high, casseroles abounded and countless side platters appeared out of nowhere. Eliza was pleased to note the cooks had chosen her favorite earth dishes as well. She happily munched away on golden French fries and pizza, having starved half to death on Yarn's ship.

The Guardians of Klesia laughed and reminisced. They ate until their respective stomachs were full, and even though Paksha and Laddie were on earth, they were still toasted and praised.

"To us!" someone shouted. "To The Guardians of Klesia!" shouted another.

The toasts went round and round and Izzian tried to sneak a glass of apriguavo wine, but Eliza grabbed it from his hands, giving him her usual evil eye. He ended up pouring the wine onto Eliza's lap, and braced himself for a good head thumping. He reminded her that while he was striving to become a Compassionate Citizen of the Universe, he was still, after all, just a boy.

"All the more reason not to sneak wine," Eliza replied with a smug look, thumping him on the head with a finger full of mashed squataytos.

The rest of the evening went along in much the same manner, until The Guardians of Klesia were doing more sleeping than guarding. Izzian was thrilled to sleep in his own bed in his own odobo, while Yarn and Eliza were treated to a first class suite at the Four Tentacles Inn. They all felt a little sorry for Thilillian, who had to go home with her father, Dr. Yangsley.

***

CHAPTER 38

*AFTERMATH OF HEROISM*

The next couple of days went by in a slow-motioned blur. Izzian was regretting his wish to become a valued and needed member of society. It was too much responsibility. He and his friends were politely invited to attend every single obligatory meeting. Their opinions were continually sought, which made it embarrassing when Izzian was caught snoring.

In his mind, Izzian cried for freedom after spending countless hours in tedious meetings. Most discussions focused on whether or not the Al203 Telescopes should be destroyed or remain in use. Izzian also slept through several of Gala's chaired meetings, questioning the legitimacy of and rethinking the entire scope of the Goodwill Project.

After spending six days withering away in dull conference rooms, followed by six nights of parties and fattening gourmet meals, even The Guardians craved normalcy. Soon, old Yarn was ready to leave.

"I'm meeting Laddie, remember? It's time for a vacation," the old woman said when the rest of the group begged her to stay.

Yarn had been the stabilizing force of the group and would be dearly missed. She was even appointed the _Honorary Mayor of Klesia_. During the award ceremony, President Twoeyes presented Yarn with the most beautiful tea set in Klesian history as a thank you for saving the world.

Yarn politely accepted the perfectly formed cups and saucers, exclaiming her profuse thanks. Izzian knew she'd probably chuck the sparkling dishes, store them away forever, or pawn them somewhere else in the galaxy.

It was a melancholy day when Yarn and her SpacePod full of Fester Tails lifted off out of Comet Central Station. Huge crowds gathered to watch Leon blast his way into the universe. Izzian's new little family was dissolving. Everyone had their own lives to attend, their own galaxies to explore, their own adventures to experience.

For once in his life, Izzian sought out Reddle F. Girth, the girl who had taunted him and picked on him his entire life. He relished the thought of showing off his accomplishments to that know it all, tiresome girl.

But Thilillian destroyed his dreams of revenge by informing him that Reddle had made it to Grotanoa before Klesia was shrunk, as had many of his other peers and classmates. Learning that most of his Klesian classmates had already departed on their Goodwill Projects, he was left with a deflated spirit. They had missed all the fanfare in his honor.

He supposed Reddle F. Girth and the others would have to eat Beaky Buzzard another day. Izzian took solace in the fact that at least Dr. Yangsley and Mr. Seebot, the irksome lab duo, had witnessed him being named a Guardian of Klesia.

After the hubbub had died down, things on Klesia Moon Prime got back to normal, more or less. Izzian and Eliza sat in the green afternoon light, dangling their feet in the warm waters of a nearby lake. Thilillian had joined them as they'd hiked through the Klesian wild, looking for the perfect spot for some good old-fashioned feet dangling.

After about an hour, Thil announced that she had personally had enough of nature to last her a lifetime. She dried her feet and headed home. Thil had lived like a feral beast in the forest of Sudden Bluff all summer long, so Izzy and Eliza understood.

It was obvious that Thil missed Paksha, as well. They all wished he could be at the lake soaking his own feet, but Paksha belonged on earth, attending school with the humans and watching reruns on television.

"Watch out for that grove of Whoosper Trees!" Izzian shouted out an anxious warning to Thil as she left the water's edge.

"You're the only one that's scared of a harmless Whoosper Tree," Thil shot back over her shoulder.

As Thil retreated into the woods, Eliza and Izzian pulled out individually sealed envelopes containing their new school schedules, excited to compare classes. Even though Izzian hadn't technically completed his Goodwill Project, he had passed with flying colors. He would be attending equidistant school with Eliza on the main planet.

No one was quite certain what would befall Thilillian, but her father, Dr. Yangsley, insisted she travel to Footfall Freighter and live there for a year. Apparently, upon realizing the extent his daughter would go to in order to get what she wanted, he had decided it was a good time to become a better parent.

"Wait, don't open that schedule yet," Eliza said. "I have a confession to make."

Izzian sighed in exasperation. He was sick of confessions, but knew better than to say it. He was currently recovering from several thump wounds and didn't need another.

"I knew the truth all along, you know," Eliza said with a wicked look in her eyes. "I knew you were an alien and I knew you were the one spying on me. I just had to hear you say it."

"Sure, Eliza," said Izzian. He knew the girl was an untrained Preytell, but she couldn't have known he was an alien all along. It was too farfetched. Izzian decided to let her believe whatever she wanted to believe. It was a lesson that had been hard learned.

They counted to three and then ripped open their school schedules.

"This can't be," Eliza said in confusion, rechecking her schedule. "This can't be right. Izzian, look!"

"I know," he said, while scanning over his own scheduled classes.

Just after first period Fragmental Particle Accumulation/Redistribution with Muckleback, of all teachers, Eliza and Izzian both shared second period Universal Literature. The newest Universal Lit teacher happened to be named Mrs. Aloris J. Maddlington, the dreaded teacher from earth.

"How did that happen?" Eliza asked, truly puzzled.

"Well, I suppose Paksha was right. Mrs. Maddlington was an alien all along. I guess she just came home," he said dejectedly.

"What luck," Eliza said as she folded up her schedule and rammed it in her back pocket. "I travel all this way and figure, well at least I'll avoid Maddlington's class. Apparently I'm not so lucky, or much of a Preytell. I had no idea."

Izzian would send Paksha a message about Maddlington being an alien and could imagine the look of contentment upon the boy's face when he discovered he had been right all along. Maddlington really was an alien. Perhaps Paksha had some Preytell abilities too. Then again, Paksha believed that every teacher was an alien.

Eliza and Izzian had an entire year of school ahead of them, suffering through Muckleback's no nonsense science class and trudging through Universal Lit with Aloris J. Maddlington. The most feared teacher of Sudden Bluff might turn into the most feared teacher on Klesia, too. Time would tell.

"Is it too late for me to go back to earth, I wonder?" Eliza said, opening a bag of Swedish Glotfish Gummies to dull the pain.

"How bad can it be, Eliza? At least we've got each other," he replied.

After all, I'm with Eliza Allready, what could possibly go wrong?

Izzian and Eliza dangled their feet into the lake for the rest of the afternoon, until the sun rested on the horizon like a fat apriguavo and their green toes shriveled up like prunes. And as they hiked home over the hills, swatting away the flying Pleverts, Eliza reached for Izzian's hand, smearing it with the remains of her last Swedish Glotfish Gummy. The two walked into the green sunset of Klesia Moon Prime.

### ***

~~AFTERWORD~~

A being sat in her comfy old plaid recliner she had pilfered off a street corner in New York City. She held the rough, calloused hand of a certain snow cone pusher she had recently come across.

As the two whizzed through the galaxy of the Redringo Quadrant, they could hear the remnants of a party winding down, deep in the bowels of the ship named Leon.

"Man, those Fester Tails are loud," Yarn said irritably, listening to the fading revelers and smelling the odors of a gourmet meal wafting toward the cabin.

"Ohh, leave them be. They have a goot time," Laddie said with his thick, not-quite-Russian-sounding-accent.

"Well, they could have invited me, at the very least, seeing as how this is my ship," she snapped back in irritation.

"Just so you'll know," a voice sounded over the loudspeakers, "I will no longer be referred to as _your ship_. I am Leon, hear me roar."

Yarn rolled her eyes as Leon playfully roared, blocking out the sounds of the Fester Tails finishing up the rest of their celebration.

Yarn had to admit, they were a clever people those Fester Tails, working hard for the good of the group. They did deserve a celebration; it was just in old Yarn's nature to be grumpy on the occasion. Plus, she missed her friends.

"Vladdie, do you think Izzy and Eliza will be okay at school, living on the main planet, away from home?" Yarn asked her companion.

"If you want to know how they are doink, why don't you just look?" he replied.

Yarn pushed a button. Suddenly, a boy and a girl popped up on the screen, holding hands, walking into a beautiful green Klesian sunset. The boy watched the girl.

Far away, in a different space, Yarn observed the boy, watching the girl. Yarn smiled, seeing her two friends walking hand in hand. Suddenly, all of her worries melted away. As long as they had each other, Izzy and Eliza could handle anything.

Even though the being purposefully remained unheard, she spoke to the boy and girl nonetheless.

"This show is about to get good."

### ***THE END***

###

Many thanks to: Sharon, my editor and mother and Jamie, my first reader. Your input has been invaluable!

Back to beginning

**PREVIEW OF BOOK 2 IN THE IZZY & ELIZA SERIES**

*MEET MRS. MADDLINGTON...AND HER MOLE*

Izzian sat in the classroom of Aloris J. Maddlington, waiting curiously for the good teacher to arrive. He had heard so many crazy stories about his new Universal Lit teacher; he couldn't wait to see what all the fuss was about.

Last week, his good friend Paksha had Freemailed him from earth, warning Izzian not to stare at Mrs. Maddlington's face, no matter what. Paksha had written, "Look at the floor, look at the walls, look at the clock...but do not look at her face!"

Of course the first thing Izzian Klowosky did was to take a good long look at the face of Aloris J. Maddlington. It had been a mistake, he now realized. Because once he looked, he found it difficult to look away.

To say the woman was round was an understatement. She resembled a wobbly bowl of sorts. And her hair was no picnic either, with its greasy sheen and unkempt bun; she obviously missed her monthly hair appointments at Bluff Cutz, the earth salon owned by Paksha's mother.

All of those characteristics were gruesome enough, but when the boy looked at the woman's face, he was mesmerized, and not in a good way. Maddlington sported a mole the size of a small planet just to the right of her beak-like nose.

Izzian could not look away, no matter how hard he tried. It was like the mole drew him in and hypnotized him. Although Maddlington was portraying herself in Klesian form, Izzian was certain her lineage was more exotic, because no Klesian or earthling could have a mole that large and still be able to hold up her head from the weight of it.

"Mr. Klowosky, do you have somewhere more important to be today?" Maddlington asked, strolling in the direction of his chair.

He forced himself to look away and stared back at the clock, hoping the teacher would not walk into his line of vision. He did not want detention on the first day of equidistant school.

"Izzy," Eliza whispered ferociously from behind, thumping him on the head, "answer her."

"No ma'am," Izzian said forcing his eyes to stay focused on the clock.

"Then why are you staring at the clock?" Maddlington asked, putting Izzian in a difficult position. The entire class was waiting for him to say something about the woman's mole. They sat on the edges of their seats, and collectively held their breath.

Finally, because he eventually _had_ to look at face of the woman who would be his teacher for the rest of the school year, Izzian turned his eyes away from the clock, into the eyes of Maddlington.

"I think that thing winked at me," Izzian said, pointing to the mole, accidentally letting his thoughts slip from his mouth. The entire class erupted in roaring laughter and Izzian knew he was in trouble.

Maddlington bent down to Izzian, within inches from his face and said, "I just want you and your little friend Eliza to know that I am not impressed. You should be in jail for your part in the Al203 fiasco of last year and your little earthling friend shouldn't even be on Klesia.

"Maybe that's how _your_ people on the _Moon Prime_ do things, but here on the mainland; we punish criminals and brutally interrogate wayward earthlings," Maddlington spat, practically spewing hatred.

Izzian couldn't believe his ears. Maddlington thought he belonged in jail for the Al203 incident? Although he'd been involved in the accidental shifting of the lenses of the Al203 Telescope, the blame did not entirely rest on his shoulders alone.

Mr. Seebot, the half organic robot had been behaving as a true organic and had typed in the wrong formula. Seebot had ended up programming the telescopes to align after a short delay. If the good Mr. Seebot had done his job correctly, and used his input/output beam instead, like any good mechanical, the Al203 Telescope would have never shifted and aligned itself with the lens of the other Al203 telescope on the main planet.

The whole thing had been a fluke and the telescopes had since then been banned from public use, perhaps to be decommissioned at a later date.

It wasn't Izzian's fault that the two separate lenses had aligned, causing the entire population of Klesia to shrink. Izzian had been one of the celebrated heroes that ended up saving all of the Klesians in the end. He had even lived with Mrs. Able Mabel Jesset, the giant Firithian woman who risked her neck to fix the telescopes.

President Boojum Twoeyes himself had deemed Izzian and his friends _The Guardians of Klesia_ for fixing the telescopes and un-shrinking the Klesian population. Surely Mrs. Maddlington didn't think one of The Guardians of Klesia should be imprisoned?

No Compassionate Citizen of the Universe would dare threaten to "brutally interrogate" a _wayward_ earthling, either, meaning Eliza. Izzian must have misunderstood the teacher's words.

"Mrs. Maddlington, do you know what we did to save the Klesians? Do you know the title we were given by President Boojum Twoeyes?" Izzian asked in disbelief. "We are The Guardians of Klesia."

Maddlington was fuming and her oversized mole appeared to be just as angry. She pulled Izzian out into the hall.

"Oh I know the whole story. I was on earth, remember? I was undercover, working for the CIC. I was directly under the orders of President Boojum Twoeyes. Thanks to you and your friends, _The Guardians of Klesia,_ " she rolled her eyes at the honorable title, "I lost my job.

"Since I wasn't on that stupid ship with that stupid group of mismatched weirdoes, I got demoted. I worked really hard to get you and Eliza in my class, so enjoy your first year of equidistant school, young Klesian. Enjoy it in detention." Maddlington stalked back into the classroom, leaving him standing there in the hall like a Glotfish.

Izzian's head was spinning. Mrs. Maddlington had done nothing in the face of danger and he had to suffer for it. He and Eliza had nothing to do with the Council for Interplanetary Consortiums, the CIC, and couldn't help it that Maddlington had gotten herself fired for being a coward.

He was proud of himself at that moment. He was working towards becoming a _Compassionate Citizen of the Universe_ by being a mature and rational young man. He even held his tongue when Maddlington lashed out at him and called his friends _mismatched weirdoes_.

I must be changing, becoming more CCU, he thought to himself.

Unfortunately for Mrs. Maddlington, Eliza was not such a CCU when it came to insulting her friends. When Maddlington returned from the classroom with Eliza and ordered them both to detention, Izzian knew something bad was about to happen. Eliza did not suffer undue criticism lightly, even if she deserved it. Maddlington and her mole were in for a treat.

Eliza didn't even give the teacher a chance to throw insults her way. "You and your mole better watch yourselves," Eliza sneered. "I know all about you, Mrs. Aloris J. Maddlington and I'll give you one warning-you had better leave Izzian and me alone and let us get on with our lives...and if you care about that thing growing on your face, you'll tell it the same thing," she added, shocking both Izzian and Maddlington at the mention of the woman's large mole.

Without another second of hesitation, Maddlington ripped off two detention slips and forced them into both Izzian and Eliza's hands. "You should have thought about the consequences of coming to Klesia, pale earthling. You probably thought you were able to escape me. Too bad I came home. You're on my turf now girlie," Maddlington declared. She briskly turned away, slamming her classroom door, leaving Izzy and Eliza standing alone in the quiet hallway.

"Well, how was your first day of school on Klesia, Eliza?" Izzian asked sarcastically as the pair strolled towards their lockers.

"I couldn't help myself. Maddlington's such a bully. Besides, it's only detention," Eliza laughed. "I've had worse."

Izzian chuckled gently at Eliza's ignorance. The girl was still thinking like an earthling, and she was no longer on earth. The word _detention_ had a whole different meaning on an alien planet, and Izzian raced to his locker, wondering how the earth girl would hold up during a Klesian detention.

"Okay, earth girl, so you've had worse. Well, better grab some shin guards and a helmet. Oh and dibs on the Firithian broadsword. I don't want to look like a girl or anything. You'll probably do best with the Grotanoan throwing knives. I think they have a set with pink handles," Izzian said, enjoying the tremendous look of fear plastered on Eliza's face.

"Throwing knives? Firithian broadswords? What kind of detention is this?" Eliza said in a trembling voice filled with panic.

"Klesian Detention...You're on Klesia now Eliza," Izzian said as he threw his books into his locker and began stretching his muscles for detention.

Back to Beginning

***

### ~~ Taster of BOOK TWO in the Izzy and Eliza Series~~

Available in the Fall of 2013

Pre Order yours today!

In the second book of the series, Izzy and Eliza attend classes on the main planet, Klesia. As a team, they unexpectedly find themselves in the middle of a dangerous plot. When Izzy and Eliza realize that countless beings may be in serious danger, they do everything imaginable to try and save them-that is how a _Compassionate Citizen of the Universe_ rolls.

What will happen to the Izzian and his gang as they become scattered throughout the universe, living their own lives?

Join Thilillian Yangsley as she suffers through a year on the most interesting travelling and transportation asteroid in the universes, Footfall Freighter. Is the boy called Brog everything he seems to be or is he after something else from the rebellious Thil?

Watch Yarn as she struggles to spy on everyone who matters to her, Mr. Laddie/Vladimir of SnowCone Haven included. Will Paksha finally leave earth and explore the universes? Read on as Leon and the Fester Tails prepare for their upcoming rock and roll tour- nah, but Leon did suggest they get a band together. (With a name like _Leon and the Fester Tails_ , they'd become famous for sure.)

Observe Izzy and Eliza as they try to make it out of Klesian detention alive. Will Eliza develop and hone her Preytell abilities under the watchful eye of Master Hito? Will Izzian ever receive a kiss from Eliza rather than a thump? Or will the two drift apart under the pressures of saving the world _and_ equidistant school?

Meet oodles of colorful characters and learn about crazy, strange inhabitants of faraway planets, asteroids and constellations. Join Izzy, Eliza and the other _Guardians of Klesia_ in BOOK TWO of the Izzy and Eliza series...an alien tale.

For Pre Order information:

nikferg@att.net

analientale@gmail.com

Read about the author:

Nikki Ferguson

### ***

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