I'm prepping for two possible scenarios
to the end of the world:
Number one is a tornado hitting the U.K,
wiping out the power grid.
Potential nuclear catastrophe.
Rioting in the supermarket. Can't go out.
Can't get your bog roll. 
Can't get your toothpaste.
Got the stuff at home.
Got my tin stuff.
Second possible scenario:
Zombie Apocalypse.
That's why I don't have only one, but two bug out locations.
Up here in my loft, in case of a zombie apocalypse.
[Dramatic music]
I'll stay up here and hide it out.
Let them rummage around downstairs.
They can't go up a flight of stairs and then up a loft hatch.
They're going to struggle with that, if I keep quiet.
And my other bug out location in case of a tornado
is a bunker in my garden.
Well sort of a bunker.
I've got all sorts of supplies ready and waiting.
[Tins scrape the wood surface]
Tin stuff.
[Tin rattles on wooden surface]
[Packet rustles]
This sort of thing: Army food.
[Packet rustles]
Oh wait a minute.
Just getting a weather alert.
[Cover rustles]
Get them every day.
[Distant, from T.V.] We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a severe weather warning.
Heavy gales are due to hit the U.K. tonight.
So batting up the hatches...and good luck.
And...[T.V. cuts off]
Brother get to the bunker. Scenario one is a go-go.
[Approaching footsteps]
[Sigh of relief]
I got some extra supplies from the other bug out location,
add to what we've already got.
So how long are we gonna be down here?
Oh we could be down here anywhere between say four
and one million years.
Yes I knew I'd be right. Yeees I knew I'd be right!
Now we're safe down here.
[Sighs] 
So how long are we gonna be down here?
Four years for the rioting to pass,
the food chains to be resupplied and the
electrical grid to get up and running again.
One million years if there's a nuclear reactor meltdown.
Might as well get some food on.
[Spoon rattles in glass jar]
It's finished.
[Spoon rattles in glass jar]
[Spoon drops in tin and rattles]
[Sighs]
We've got to go out there.
Don't go out there.
That's all we got left.
Don't open that door.
[Sound of distant traffic]
[Birds chirping]
Is that the sound of traffic?
[Sound of distant traffic]
[Birds chirping]
[Tree rustles]
[Teeth crunch the apple]
[Climbing the ladder] 
I've still got the original footage up here. 
Let me show ya.
I wouldn't have fancied bugging out here
for four years.
We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a severe weather warning.
Heavy gales are due to hit the U.K. tonight.
So batting up the hatches...and good luck.
And for the rest of the week starting
from tomorrow
the weather turns mild, with extended
sunny spells and the odd spot of rain.
You f-[horn beeps] c-[horn beeps].
You...f-[horn beeps] c-[horn beeps]
Oh you stupid bastard.
