I'm talking with a dude trough one of these random chat apps
And I convinced him to meet up in real life
I convinced him by pretending to be a girl
The thing is, he wants to meet me in a particular street
Because people barely walk there and that way we will recognize each other more easily
But he will also be able to stab me more easily, without any witnesses
But well, my youtube views are worth it
Ok we are at the street
this is where i'm supposed to meet *censored*
and to be honest it's kind of a weird street
it's true that nobody would walk he-
*censored*
you're Vanessa?
yeah, It's nice to meet you
But I talked with you and you were a girl
well dude i trolled you haha
you're even filming me in the fucking face
It's a prank bro
I'll censor you don't worry
what the fuck is this? who do you think you are?
weren't you the dude that sells suprememe shirts?
yeah yeah i am, do you want one?
to be honest i don't
Ok so that's it haha you're trolled
not fucking funny dude
bye
*panick and incoming rape*
today we will go back to youtube 2014
when we used random chat apps to talk to strangers and also see dicks
because you wouldn't really see anything else but dicks in those apps
wait wait did someone say dick pics?
because damn, i love dicks
*gay silence*
hit the like button and subscribe
the other day we tried this app to see if it's worth a video
oh god i saw it again dude
why do you look at the screen?
if you analyze it, it looks like it's profile but it's not
so basically his dick is bent to the side
so the other day we tried the app before deciding if we should use it in the video
*idk how to translate the joke*
it's the Captain Hook of the dicks
instead of this, it's like this, dude
it's hook shaped
and we made a profile that said "i like Harry Potter"
a dude texted us "i like hermione"
we said 5 words, 5 fucking words/world record
''great, can you show me your wand?"/"gladly haha"
and he sends a dic pic... he sends a dic pic - 5 words, dude
not even a minute had passed
he was waiting for it "can you show me your wand?"/"gladly( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"
we sent like a voice clip saying "Hi!"
and he said "damn you turned me on"
and i say "do you want a pic of me?"
so i sent him this.. we were in the jacuzzi then *laughing* and i sent him a pic like this
and he says "yo wismichu im so turned on"
To be honest this app is just great, we tried it and we were like "we gotta record this shit"
And that's what we are gonna do today, This is "connected to", basically talking to strangers, you can send pics, audio clips
so this is the app, you create a profile and- what should we be called, dude?
i always wished my name was Lolito Fernandez
*they decide to pretent to be a girl, so "Lolita"*
Ok Lolita Fernandez.. Not aviable? there's already another Lolita Fernandez dude//shit dude
four..? nah.. 777...  777...- look *cunka si prusta* beautiful
What do we put in the bio?- "send me kitty pics :3"
put the ":3", people's dick will fall off/":3" dude/that's like the mating call
3 people already texted us
"Hi, do you have kittens?"
"Show me a pic of your kitty"
What a subtle way to ask for a dick pic/no no i dont wanna see a dick i wanna see a cat/yeah of course we never wanna see dicks
"yeah one"/"can you show it to me?"/"age"/ im asking for a cat pic/ ill show you my cat but i need to know how old are you/need precaution
ITS A CAT! NICE! NICEE!! NICE
dude i was really scared when the pic was loading/that was tense
i'm about to draw a moustache on my face *laughing* and then i ask him "do you wanna see my cat?" and you take a pic of me saying "meow"
im naruto dude
do you wanna see my cat?- i need to erase this as soon as possible dude, im looking at myself in the screen and im like "no isma why"
meow
a dick pic would have been better than this
he can also draw a moustache on his dick and *laughing*
why haven't i erased this yet dude
"do you like it?"/"yeah he is nice"
tell him "he is my boyfriend, stop talking to me"
"im glad"
he is a nice dude. why are we messing with him when he is so nice?
"do you have a kitty?"-- A CAT! YES!  YES!!
there's more human beings than we thought
And he is petting it look
NOOO  A DICK NOoo *more jokes i cant translate*
let;s look at the stories, i love them/the stories dude-it would be cool to find someone you know here
dude this is a fucking close up of a dick/I THOUGHT IT WAS A TOUNGE DUDE, I THOUGHT IT WAS A TOUNGE
never looked at a dick so close
dude now im disgusted of having a dick i swear to god
"i like anime, kpop is my passion, long live bts"/*cringing*
"i like kpop too, especially north korean"/"there's no kpop in north korea"
i'll put the hymn dude, wait ill search it up
wait make a vid of me dancing
"you're dumb aren't you"
dude is so offended
"i like animals and nature in general, open to deep conversations"
tell him "always rocking"//"obviously"
"can you send me a pic of your kitty?" if this is the third cat pic-/faith in humanity restored/ill trust in humanity again ok?
YES   YESS *slap* YES
GOD IS STILL ALIVE!
YES--do you wanna see my kitty
i already embarassed myself so let's keep it up, gotta do it
"yees" *laughing*
i dont wanna see it again dude- n o *laughing*
"what a horrible cat"
"Hello, I'm Marta and my boobs are oversized, do you wanna see them?"
*laughing and jokes that arent really important im sorry im lazy*
"are you lolito's sister"
"noo"
"the guy with the green shirt is really ugly"
the two shirts are black
"i dont think you can even reach my waist"
i cant reach your waist? *retarded sounds* look that's you *punches*
"you look fit"
*more shit i wont translate sorry*
"i want to eat your ass" *laughing*
careful what you wish for *laughing*
"i'll clean you by licking"
"well whatever you like-where do we meet"
"at tilted towers"
fucking genius
uuh fortnite jokes
well i dont know, a normal girl, i like videogames
this is literally searching for sum fuk
next week i will be dead
"Do you have xbox or ps4?"
i have a vagina
"you're fake aren't you?"
im not fake, why do you think im fake?
*cringe*
fucking gross dude
how do you live with that personality dude
i have this guilt in me
how do you sleep at night
"you have wismichu's fucking voice"
ok we are gonna open a pic
NO
WHY
"we tried to arrange a meeting with the dude, but he gave us his number so we called him"
yeah?
Hello are you Javier from connected to me?
mm yes?
you were talking to lola?
yeah
she is my daughter
and you were trying to meet her when she is 14 years old
oh i didn't know that
yeah you didn't know, are you sure? because i'll report you to the police and i'll turn your house into money
i'm sorry, but i didn't know
i will geolocalize you
yeah?
i'm sorry but i..i'm really sorry but i didn't know i don't even understand this page
yeah you don't understand it right, javier you are getting yourself into some shit
okay that's it i'm sorry and, idk what to say
apologize to me
sorry, forgive me but
repeat it, repeat it,  apologize
i'm sorry really i
apologize 10 times and i'll let you be
sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry
but i
im sorry but i
im a very calm person and i dont like messing with people and even less hurting them
another 10 times
*hangs up*
lets ask people if they like harry potter
hi do you like harry potter?
because i wanna see wands
and we are at the wands again
can you show me yours?
i hope someone sends us a real harry potter wand
yeah yeah like an original bought one, would be cool
im sorry i cant even understand what they are saying so no translation
"im fucking olivander of Connected to me i gotta check your wands"
NOO
its really bent to the side what´s happening to it
"hello i have an almost perfect wand"
almost 
"lets see it"
"but it has something white just to warn you"
noo nooo no
you click the button
i dont want to dude
do it
AAAAAAAAA
NO NO
GENIUS
GENIUS
its a real hero
its a fucking miracle
you are an artist
you are
you are the greatest thing that ever happened in Spain
ill just stop now, its a great ending
ok kalina ill stop the captions now since wismichu will be just saying bye and shit so holy fuck my ass hurts ive been translating for 4 hours bye
