You might have noticed that friend of the show Pajama Watson
has been getting some criticisms of the soy video he made.
For example, that it's a lie peddled to an undiscerning audience,
based on bad science that he got from someone who went on to say that they think he's wrong.
But Paul's a professional journalist, so of course, in responding to these criticisms,
he took the intellectual high road of putting on a wig and screaming at a camera,
while making vague allusions to my video on the topic.
"Let me demonstrate this in an obnoxious 30 minute YouTube response video!"
Editor-at-large of Infowars dot com there,
clearly behaving like someone who definitely isn't mad that they got owned online,
and just wants to have a reasonable conversation about the facts.
First things first: hey, thanks for the shoutout, Paul.
I love being acknowledged by my peers online, it makes me feel...
powerful. Virile, even.
You can't bottle that feeling,
and I know, because you've tried!
Secondly, what's most fascinating about this comment
is that it's the closest I think I've seen someone come to admitting that they've lost.
If I'd made even a minor error
that was easy to debunk or respond to in my 30-minute long video,
Paul would have done that, wouldn't he?
He'd have gone in so hard on me!
Just rough and uncensored!
He'd have just gone to town on me with his—
with his soy-encrusted tongue!
But it appears that I owned him so hard,
with such bulletproof reasoning,
that he daren't even mention me or my video directly,
despite the fact that we have mutual friends,
so I know he's seen the video,
and I know it really pissed him off!
In order to look like he has the intellectual upper hand here,
he has to make sure the only contact his audience has with my video
in which I cite evidence and statistics and studies,
and make a couple of silly jokes,
but ultimately come down on the side of having an actual, reasonable discussion about the data,
is him dressed in a wig acting like this.
I guess it's easy to win a fight with an opponent made of straw.
Seriously, this is how much displacement he had to do
to bring my work down to a level he feels he can beat.
I guess when you have trouble pronouncing the word "millilitre" when it's written in front of you...
"MILLIMETRE."
You're only really capable of winning arguments with yourself, in a wig.
But I've noticed a certain unhealthy pallor around Paul's eyes lately.
I've noticed he might be missing out on one of the most important health products of all.
It appears that sadboy Paul is suffering from fact deficiency.
Let's take a look at some of the new claims that Paul made while trying to defend the supplement
he sells to keep the lights on, Brain Force Plus.
"Some people say I'm a hypocrite because Brain Force contains soy.
But Brain Force also contains Alpha GPC— lots of it.
Alpha GPC increases libido.
How much?
Well, just ask this 79-year-old Italian man.
He went from a doddering pensioner
to a rampaging sex chad,
virtually overnight.
We had to put a bit of soy in Brain Force just to balance it out!"
That's huge if it turns out to be true!
Shame it isn't, though.
Firstly, by "overnight," Paul means... six weeks.
That's like, 40 overnights.
You can even see it in the screenshot he shows you.
Secondly, the man was taking Alpha GPC in order to try and reduce the kinds of memory loss
that come with old age.
He could have been taking up to 1200 milligrams a day.
For reference, Paul's daily two capsules
of Brain Force Plus will net him about
156 milligrams of Alpha GPC a day.
So, if you want,
you too can replicate the effects this man had
by taking just 16 Brain Force Plus pills A DAY,
which is eight times the recommended dose,
and also, for the record, literally half a bottle.
[LOVECRAFTIAN HORROR GULP]
By the way, just one bottle of that stuff retails on the Infowars website for $39.95.
So just to take the dosage this guy was getting for the six weeks that Paul is pretending was overnight,
it'll cost you $838 and change.
Sounds like a bargain to me!
Yeah, to hell with those soy boys,
improving their lives with minor changes in their dietary decisions!
Ugh, God. Idiots!
I'll be a real man...
once I've taken all 16 of my daily pills.
Yeah, get that down ya. That'll make you into a real alpha male.
That'll be $20 a day, please.
Incidentally, you can find Alpha GPC supplements on Amazon
that have 300 milligrams in them per pill, which is double what you get in two of Brain Force Plus,
and they come in packs of 120 pills for $29.95.
I'm beginning to think that Infowars is some kind of scam
in order to keep Alex Jones in Rolexes at the expense of his audience.
Let's not rag on Paul too much just yet, though.
Alpha GPC probably is good for you,
and even in the dosages in Brain Force Plus, or
perhaps a less overpriced pill,
it has been proven by studies to suggest an increase
in mental alertness and memory.
Alpha GPC is also most commonly derived from soy.
Probably should've... looked that up on Google before you made the video, Paul.
Then again, Google are a leftist cabal that's out to get you,
so I can see why you wouldn't trust them.
In this review of Brain Force Plus by a nootropics website,
a.k.a. a place where people actually look at supplements in a little more detail than Paul has,
the author actually is a little bit disappointed by the Alpha GPC,
citing Citicoline as a better chemical for the same job.
The review is, however, a huge fan of the phosphatidylserine in the pills, claiming, and I quote:
"Phosphatidylserine is one of the greatest nootropics in the universe."
But why didn't Paul mention the phosphatidylserine in the pills?
I mean, if I was trying to justify shilling for overpriced pills,
I'd probably mention the substance that people say is great,
and not the bits that people were actually a bit disappointed by in reviews.
But Paul couldn't do that, could he?
Firstly, because "phosphatidylserine" is too hard for him to pronounce.
"MILLIMETRE."
But secondly, because phosphatidylserine is derived...
from soy.
[RASPBERRY]
"We love seeing it in Brain Force,
although the 81 milligram dosage is unusual and a little weak."
That's a little bit embarrassing, isn't it, Paul?
Even the positive reviews of Brain Force wish you'd put more soy in it.
Paul,
friend,
love,
salt of the earth:
just come clean.
The soy isn't in there to balance out the good bits,
the soy IS the good bits.
And it's commonly used to make the other good bits.
And you're just making it worse and digging the hole deeper
by trying to pass the whole thing off as a joke
while getting very mad,
the way you wouldn't be if it was a joke.
Paul, I know admitting weakness is against your religion—
conservatism—
but it actually takes a tremendous amount of courage
to admit that you can do better, and perhaps could have done some more research.
Maybe if you take enough of that Alpha GPC you seem to love so much,
you'll finally be up to the task of admitting that you can do better than this.
Or, you can go back to screaming about me in a wig
to sell underdosed, overpriced pills whose prime ingredients are made from soy.
You know, it's your choice, really.
It's a free country...
...for now!
[DRAMATIC VAPORWAVE]
[STATIC]
Please press the subscribe bu...
[RASPBERRY]
