Touching's a really easy way to determine
if someone's attracted to you or not.
Now, a lot of books will say if someone touches
you they like you.
Not the case.
Some people just touch a lot.
All right.
So you've got to be careful.
Some women just are touchers.
They like to touch.
They like the way they touch you.
Some men just touch a lot.
It's just a way of communicating socially
or the way they were raised.
It doesn't matter.
So you want to pay attention to that.
If a person touches you but touches all your
friends, it doesn't mean they like you.
It means they probably just touch a lot.
If a person never touches anybody, and then
all of a sudden touches you, that could mean
something interesting.
All right.
So you're looking for deviations in how people
touch you.
Now there's a couple other things.
A useful thing to do actually to figure out
those deviations in baseline is to just kind
of see or observe someone for ten minutes
and see how often they touch someone.
If in ten minutes they don't touch anybody
or they don't touch any of the people they
are interacting with, but in the ten minutes
that you interact with them they touch you
four or five times, that tends to be a good
sign, because it's a sharp deviation in how
they normally act.
Okay?
You're also going to take into consideration
how they touch you.
You know, and I'll make the argument that
deviations in baseline that deal with touching
are good regardless of how they touch you.
Now, there's touching that's very good.
So one of the things you'll tend to see is
right before two people kiss, you'll tend
to see touching usually initiated by the woman
somewhere between the waist and the shoulders.
So a lot of women go for the buttons.
They'll touch the buttons, or they'll touch
somewhere on the hand.
And it's kind of like, touch is a very intimate
sort of thing, especially in attraction.
So we live in a society, I know especially
in New York City, where we don't like to essentially
be touched, which is very interesting.
Because like in New York City if you touch
somebody, it's alarming.
But down South, I'll never forget when I was
in New Orleans everybody was touching.
I was like, "What the hell is going on?
Why is everybody so touchy?"
But it's the social context there.
So touching is not, so certain women from
the Midwest might touch a lot more than women
from New York City.
That's why you need to really pay attention
to the deviation in baseline.
Some people are just, that's how they communicate.
They touch.
And touching's a very important way.
And, you know, it builds rapport.
It opens you up, so on and so forth.
But you've got to make sure that the person
touching you actually doesn't touch other
people, or else you're just like everybody
else.
