I'm here to be made irresistible to the ladies.
*50's music*
I hope I'm just going to end up leavin' here smelling like a lovely, fruity man.
Men smells are so funny. They're so like ..
"BLAGH! ME AS WELL!"
I'm anticipating a razor, at least.
Am I shaving? Is that what I have to do today?
*50's music*
I really like this. My dad has one.
My granddad had one of these.
But I don't know if this has an official name. It's like, "the scrubby thing".
It makes me think of Don Draper.
They have a certain amount of class about them.
This looks space age.
Oh my God. There's an on button. *vibrates*
It's a vibrator for men!
How does that make it better?
Oh, I've cut myself!
I kinda wish I had a beard now.
Do I have to use this?
Well, you've given me this so I feel like ...
Ok, does it spray or is it like gloop?
Eh!
Ok. Look at these gams!
This is really therapeutic. I could just do this for ages.
Oh, yup. Feels like a razor.
Ahh, yes. It did just what I expected it to.
This is actually so nice.
Although, I am very sticky now.
I'm not bleeding like I normally would be.
I'm a new woman!
Oh. Oh! Oh, dear!
This was actually really good, but now I can see my pores.
*50's music*
Old Spice! Oh yeah!
They do really good commercials.
*mocking an Old Spice commercial*
"Now I'm on a horse. Now I'm in a river"
Like, it's something that my parents would have slagged as being retro, and they are ancient!
They are really good at marketing. And makes everyone go like, "Yeah" even though I've no idea what it smells like.
"Aftershave"? Oh, so I have to put this on my arm?
What? I don't understand what aftershave lotion IS though.
It looks kinda like milk from the old times.
Smells exactly like a man.
It smells like someone I knew when I used to competitively swim.
I would go in for a second sniff if I sniffed it on a male.
I'll put it on my cut and see what happens.
Ow! Oh my God, that burns like *bleep*!
Oh, very bold!
Is it meant to make you cry? And, then, you fight back your tears CAUSE YOU'RE A MAN!
It's like, invading me, rather than just resting on my nostrils.
I have to go to dinner later and my chicken wings are going to smell like "man".
Marketing is scary because no matter what it smelled like, I'd still think it's cool.
*50's music*
Oooh, I know what this stuff is!
I don't really want to put it in my hair.
Been around for ages.
And I thought it was spelled "BRILLcream". *man laughs in background*
It actually looks like a shoe. Like a horses thing.
It's like lotion that you put on after you shower.
What's this supposed to do again?
*Valley girl accent* You want beachy waves, you just get your Brylcreem ..
It's very gloopy. I thought it would be harder.
Now it looks like I've got some really greasy hair.
Wow!
*sarcastically* It's so different.
It just gets clumps of your hair, and clumps it together in small sections.
Curls you just can't fight with.
I feel like I need a shower now.
*50's music*
What it is?
It's for your nose.
I don't have any hair in my nose. I mean, obviously, I do, cause I'm human.
Oh. It's so small. Like, this is so unnecessary.
My dad had one. I always use to turn it on and be like, "Ehh!"
It looks like it should turn on.
*very loud vibrating*
*turns off* Oooh!
But it's not .. sharp.
You wouldn't cut yourself on it, which is good!
Safety first!
Oh wow! *bleep* It actually really works!
That's actually so much better at shaving than the other thing.
Oh, it's really warm! *laughs*
Oh, it's like a tiny trimmer.
It sounds like a hedge trimmer.
Ow! Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.
*man laughs in background*
That goes in your nose? That's very sore!
It's a real present. Isn't it? Like, "Happy Birthday, Dad!
You're old!"
They need their stuff. They want a vibrating razor? Let them have a vibrating razor!
You know when everyone's like, "Your house smells a particular way."?
Like, men smell a particular way. I couldn't tell you what the smell was
but if you smelled it, you'd go ...
"That's a man, there."
