

Memoir For You

Copyright 2017 Amoi Kin

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my good friend, Julia. She was one of my first fans for Memoirs of a Sex Addict and encourage me to finish this story. Thanks for being such a great friend.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Author's note

Chapter 1

"Canisha!"

I looked up at the call of my name and was shocked to find the owner of the shout. I dropped my bag and ran across the airport floor. Aaron caught me up in his arms and held on tight. Water gathered in my eyes as I tried not to start blubbering. "I thought you hated me."

"Never. I could never hate you. I'm so sorry, Canisha." I felt his lips against my temple before he finally set me down on my feet.

I wiped away the water in my eyes until he was no longer a blurry vision. "I'm so sorry, too. Really, really sorry." Apparently, all my hard work to wipe away my tears was for naught because they started flowing again. It was due to the fact I had simply resigned myself to being hated by Aaron. Though Changmin had forgiven me, I hadn't expected it, just as I didn't expect it of Aaron. So much had taken place before I left, and I accepted the fact that it was mostly my own fault. All the guys had done was tried to love me in their own personal ways and I abused their trust, whether it was purposeful or not.

Aaron smiled and cupped my face in his hands, brushing my tears away with his thumbs. He leaned down a pressed a kiss to my forehead. "Please stop crying, Canisha." He pulled me into another hug, holding me close.

Easier said than done. However, I tried to do as he said. I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing, which resulted in me taking in his familiar scent as well. It was something I missed that I hadn't realized until then. After taking a few deep breaths, I managed to pull myself together. Aaron had brought me comfort and it seemed that hadn't changed despite everything.

"I'm okay now," I murmured into his chest.

He stroked a hand over my hair before stepping back and releasing his hold on me.

I noticed Changmin's presence then at our side. He hadn't said anything about our exchange, but it seemed like he wanted to. Though his expression was a stoic, his eyes seemed to blaze. I wondered once again what had happened between the men after I left. Changmin hadn't spoken about Aaron when he came to me, but I had no doubts that their relationship was just as rocky with each other as it was with me. Guilt prickled in my chest at the thought alone.

Though, it was a bit surprising that Changmin had been the one to come for me, even after we confirmed our feelings for each other. He had always been so prideful, and I didn't think that really changed. Yet the love he had for me must have been enough to make him chase after, which guiltily brought me some joy. Well, at least until I finally admitted to him I was pregnant. The news had made him kind of freeze. Of course, he hadn't expected it any more than I, but that was always a possibility when one had sex no matter how safe you were.

I had watched his reaction closely after my confession. It was as if I had x-ray vision and I could see the gears working in his head as he came to some decision. A heartbeat later, he declared we were to be married, much to my surprise. There were many reasons I hadn't expected a proposal after my announcement, especially not from him.

I, of course, did not agree to it. It was ignorant to think that marriage would suddenly fix everything between us. And Aaron...

That simply wouldn't be fair to him. Changmin seemed to think that my love for him canceled out the love I had for Aaron, but that wasn't the case. I felt like the love I had for Changmin was stronger than what I felt for Aaron. It was why I had started sleeping with him without Aaron. However, Aaron was still important to me. If Changmin was my true love, Aaron was my soulmate.

Before our relationship turned weird, it was Aaron who made me feel comfortable. He accepted my weirdness for all it was and encouraged it. We would talk for hours about nothing and never get bored. I was truly lucky to have met such a person, who understood me on the deepest level. Sometimes, even beyond that of my friends who had known me since I was a kid.

However, with Changmin... With him, I just felt lost and found at the same time. As much as he broke me down, he built me up too. It was such an intense wave that I couldn't see the end of. Never crashing nor diminishing as the wave drove on across the wide ocean.

Since these two meant so much to me, the thing I was most afraid of was ruining these two's friendship. Changmin hadn't seemed to have a problem in deciding who mattered more. However, I knew marriage would be the wrong decision.

I didn't know what Aaron's opinion on it was, and I really wanted to. Since he had gone dark to the others, I was worried about him the most. It was why I was so scared that what I had done was beyond repair. So, imagine my shock when he was waiting at the airport for us. He could have stayed home and waited for us to arrive, but instead, he came to the airport to greet me.

I couldn't exactly say how that made me feel. Happy because he clearly didn't hate me. Guilty because he didn't hate me despite the pain I put him through. I was so used to Changmin being the one to cause all these clashing emotions to rise in me, and now Aaron was doing the same all because he had simply chosen to meet me at the airport. So, pray tell how I was simply to toss him over for Changmin.

Thankfully, Changmin had picked up the bag I dropped, so we had left the terminal right away. Aaron had parked his car in the garage, and I sat in the back while Changmin joined him in the front. The few minutes in the car driving to the lot I parked my car was spent in silence. Though it wasn't just a comfortable, companionable silence. It was unnerving in a way that silence could be when there was tension in the air. It stayed that way until Aaron pulled up next to my car and I got off with my bag. Changmin had gotten out of the car too, expressing that he wanted to come with me, but I was firm about us driving separately. However, I agreed to go to their house after stopping by home.

When I arrived at the house I shared with the girls, I felt a bit of trepidation. Despite the fact that I had spoken to the girls since leaving, I still felt scared they now thought differently of me. It was one thing to speak over the phone and another thing to talk face to face. Sadly, I couldn't hide forever, Changmin did help me realize that by chasing me across Europe, as annoying as it had been.

I took a deep breath and unlocked the front door. I immediately spotted Darian, who was sitting at the dining table and working on her laptop. She looked up as I entered, and a smile spread wide on her face.

"Canisha!"

A second later I was getting the life squeezed out of me. Her shout brought the other girls in the house running. Becca, Kira, and Reese all joined in on a group hug. I was losing oxygen, but I didn't complain. It was nice to be held by my friends, who I missed dearly.

"Are you doing okay?" Darian asked once the girls finally allowed me to breathe.

I nodded. "As best as a pregnant woman can be." I could have been extravagant in announcing my pregnancy to my friends, but saying it casually seemed best. It also took the weight off my chest quicker.

They all stared at me in shock and their eyes fell to my stomach in unison. I nearly rolled my eyes. I never got why people always zoomed in on one's stomach when they were told the person was pregnant. It wasn't like there was anything to see. At least, not yet. I'm sure it would have been noticeable if I had a growing stomach when they hugged me.

"How do you feel?" Becca asked.

I smiled. Though she didn't say it out loud, I knew exactly what she was asking. She, as well as the other girls, were probably worried about my thoughts on the baby. After all, it's not like I planned on getting pregnant. I had been on birth control. I took my pills religiously at the same time every day, which is why I never worried about using a condom when I had sex with the guys. However, when I got sick, I was out of it most of the time so I could have missed a pill or taken it too late, completely throwing off the effects.

So, when I found out I was pregnant, of course, I was shocked, maybe a bit confused, and completely overwhelmed. I knew I wasn't ready for a baby. I could barely take care of myself. Not to mentioned, I hadn't even finished college yet and had put off my graduation by taking an impromptu trip to Europe to make matter worse. However, I was already pregnant so there wasn't much I could do about it at this point. So, after a bit of freaking out, I came to accept it. After I got over that hurdle, I also found myself a little excited and happy. Yes, I was still terrified, but I was going to be okay and so was my baby.

"I'm feeling really good actually," I said honestly.

Darian clapped her hands together. "I'm going to be an aunt!" She threw her arms around me once more and shook me about.

"Darian, chill." Reese chuckled, pulling the octopus-like woman from my body. "Preggers, remember?"

"Right." Darian giggled.

The door opened behind us and we all turned to the newcomer.

"Canisha!" Carelyn slammed the door shut and grabbed me into a hug. "Oh my gosh, woman. Do you know how worried we've been about you? Thank goodness you're home."

I returned the hug with just as much enthusiasm.

"Don't squeeze too hard, Care. That one's pregnant," Darian told her.

Suddenly, I was being shoved away from Carelyn and she looked me up and down. "You are?" She asked with surprise.

I nodded. "Yay, right?"

Carelyn's eyes widen. "Oh, wow."

"I'm fine," I said before she could ask. "Really. I'm super happy and already planning out the rest of my college career. If I didn't have a reason to finish it before, I do now." I pointed at my stomach for emphasis.

Carelyn grinned. "Yeah, you do. Don't worry, we'll help you out."

"Most definitely," Reese agreed.

"That's why you girls are my favorite sisters," I told them with a wide smile. "Just don't tell my real sister. She might kill me."

A chorus of "awe" filled the front room and I was being hugged again. After the hugging fest ended, we headed up to my bedroom so I could unpack while we caught up. It was a time where I felt I could finally unwind after what seemed like forever.

Around 9PM, I finally gathered up my courage to head to the guys' house. Thanks to spending the afternoon with the girls, I was in a pretty relaxed state. However, as I was driving across town, I felt my anxiety rising again.

Oh, joy. Just what I wanted. To be anxious and overthinking everything. Hopefully, that would be changing soon. After the guys and I talked everything through and decided the best course of action in our relationship, I would probably feel much calmer about everything.

Well, I actually already decided on what our new relationship would become if it was still possible to maintain one. It was something I would refuse to budge on because I was looking out for everyone's wellbeing. No matter what Changmin said, it would go the way I decided because, if it didn't, our whole lives could end up imploded. Well, at least mine would. Even more than it had already, I adjusted. The two of them could go on and do whatever they wanted to, honestly. Being the mother of the child, I would be the one stuck with all the responsibility. It wasn't fair, but it was a possibility I had to account for.

It not that I believed they would abandon me like that. They probably wouldn't. I mean, I know they wouldn't. Right?

Damn, there I went doubting myself again. Gosh, that's why this was so hard. I clenched the steering wheel tighter and took a calming breath. I needed to be more confident in myself. Despite telling myself that, it didn't seem to change things.

Argh. What happened to the Canisha who jumped into bed with two hot guys and didn't care? That's the person I needed to channel.

Though, I guess I hadn't exactly jumped into bed with them the first time. I was seduced. By Changmin. And Aaron hadn't put a stop to things. Not that I had minded, at first. No, the regret hadn't come until the following morning. However, that regret didn't stop me from having sex with them the next week.

Now that woman was the one I needed to channel. The one that said fuck regrets and just live life. I liked her. Even if she had gotten me into this mess. It was a different me I didn't realize existed and gave me the courage to turn down Changmin's marriage proposal even when I was scared shitless about my future.

When I finally arrived at the guys' house, I was in pretty decent spirits. Before I could even knock on the door, it opened to reveal Changmin. "I almost came to get you myself," he said as he let me into the house. "What took you so long?"

"I was talking to the girls. Catching up." I shrugged. "Unpacking and so on. Nothing notable."

The living room was the same as ever. Modern furniture with nothing out of place. I like to think of myself as a clean freak, especially since I lived with five messy females, but the guys' house put my cleaning to shame. I know it was because they had a cleaner but still.

However, I wasn't really looking at how clean the room was, but for a certain someone. "Where's Aaron?"

"He's in his room."

I started heading towards the stairs but stopped when I realized Changmin was following me. Turning, I caught his gaze and said, "Do you mind giving us some time alone? To talk?"

He didn't look excited about the idea. Just when I expected he would object, he nodded. "Okay. I'll head out to get some food. Any preferences?"

"Chinese food would be nice." I smiled and gave him a hug. "Thank you."

He didn't respond and simply left out. Once the door closed behind him, I turned on my heel and headed up the steps. Aaron's bedroom door was closed, so I knocked on it a couple times before waiting patiently for a response. After a beat or two, the door opened, and Aaron's brown eyes were staring down at me somberly. I gave him a small smile and he returned it before opening his door wider.

His room was neat as usual, not one thing appearing out of place. The computer on his desk showed some type of music programs and there was a partially blank music sheet sitting on the keyboard next to the desk. A pair of headphones sat on the keyboard next to the sheet. I walked over to the setup and glanced at the computer program before taking a closer look at his music sheet.

"Feeling inspired?"

"A bit. I've been writing nonstop for the last few days," he told me, his voice closer than I expected.

When I turned, he was standing directly behind me. His eyes were watching me closely as if he was looking for something. I couldn't decipher what though.

"What else have you been doing since we've last saw each other?" I asked Aaron, breaking that awkward silence.

He didn't answer me immediately. He just continued to look at me with his searing gaze. It was something that could be unnerving to most, but I found that I was calm. I didn't mind that he was trying to look deep into my soul because I trusted that whatever he saw there he would never use against me. At least before that was the case. Maybe it wasn't now. Yet, I realized how much I still trusted him.

Yes, I had trusted him with my body, but this was altogether more. I usually always held a piece of myself back in whatever relationships I formed, even those with my closest friends. However, despite everything that had happened between us, I didn't mind flaying myself open for him to see. What he had said to me before had been due to hurt and I had just as much of the blame for it, but he would never intentionally try to hurt me, and I knew that deep in my heart.

"I went to South America."

I felt my eyes widen. "South America?" No wonder why the girls hadn't heard a thing from him. It was honestly the last place I expected him to go.

Aaron chuckled. "Weird, right?" He moved to his bed and sat down. "I felt...lost after everything came out. I was angry, hurt, guilty."

I sat beside him and picked up his hand. "I'm really sorry, Aaron. I don't even know what I was thinking, or I do know, but I never meant to hurt you or Changmin."

He squeezed my hand. "I know you didn't, but I couldn't see that at the time. So many emotions went through me that night. Then when I woke up the next morning, I felt numb. I really wasn't sure about what I should do. I got a message from a close friend about a trip he was taking to Venezuela and I accepted his invite. It allowed me to piece my thoughts together until I was able to think logically again. After I was thinking clearly, I wanted to contact you, but Changmin left me a message saying he went to look for you, so I thought it was best for me to wait until you came back home."

"What did you want to tell me?"

"So many things." He shook his head. "Most importantly that I was sorry for reacting the way I did. However, I guess the other things don't matter much now." He released my hand and gave me a soft smile.

I frowned. "Why don't they matter?" I wanted to take his hand back, but I refrained from it. I didn't wish to cause him any discomfort, and if he didn't want to hold my hand, I wouldn't force him.

"Because you and Changmin are getting married."

I blinked several times trying to digest that news. Last I checked I wasn't marrying anyone, certainly not Changmin. If I remembered correctly, I had told Changmin that. Apparently, he hadn't heard me or decided to ignore my response. He seemed to have accepted my answer, but clearly, that hadn't been the case. Though, I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised that he was trying to make decisions on his own. That pride of his would surely be the death of him one day.

"Changmin and I are not getting married," I clarified. "He suggested it, but I told him no. He must have built up in his head that I was simply going to do whatever he said, like usual."

Laughter spilled from Aaron's lips. "Why am I not surprised by this? Yet Changmin had been so sure when he told me, it was hard not to believe. Then again, when does Changmin ever sound unconfident about whatever he says?"

The truth of that made me grinned. "Changmin's ego outdoes us all."

He sobered and looked at me with a serious gaze. "What do you want then?"

Like me, he had already come to the conclusion that we could never go back to what we were before I left. I could see that in his eyes.

"I want us to be friends. Good friends that shared good times and bad times but still friends at the end of the day. Do you think that's possible?"

Aaron smiled and nodded. "I will always be your friend, princess. No matter what." His hand cupped the back of my head as he leaned forward and placed a kiss on my forehead.

I closed my eyes and sighed, comforted by the action. When he pulled away, I moved closer and wrapped my arms around his middle, giving him a hug. He returned the embraced and we sat there for a while just like that, both of us finding comfort in each other's arms.

When we finally broke the embrace, he swiped away a tear that I hadn't even realized had fallen from my eye. "I really hope I never make you cry again and whenever you feel sad that you will come to me."

I chuckled softly. "Not many men would offer to put up with a moody woman."

"Maybe not, but I guess I like you too much to do otherwise." He grinned before sobering up and saying, "I wondered why Changmin claimed you guys were getting married. As far as I could remember, he never really liked the idea of marriage."

As soon as Aaron said that I realized he was missing a piece of the puzzle. I was actually okay with the fact that Changmin hadn't told Aaron I was pregnant because I preferred to do it myself, even though it did make me anxious all over again. The nervousness rolled around in my stomach until it ached, but I ignored it.

"He likely told you that because..." I took a deep breath. "Because I'm pregnant."

Aaron's eyes widened. They moved downward until they were focused on my stomach where they stayed. It was like he had x-ray vision and was trying to see the fetus in my womb through my layers of flesh and organs. Really, why did everyone do that? I honestly just wanted to know. Maybe I would have to google it.

"Are you serious?"

I rolled my eyes. "I wouldn't tell you I was pregnant as a joke, Aaron."

"I know. I know. I just...wow." He shook his head. "That makes so much sense now. If you're not going to marry Changmin then what will you do?" I opened my mouth to answer but he cut me off before I could speak. "Don't say something ridiculous like you plan to raise this baby on your own because you know, just as I do, that is a stupid idea. No one chooses to raise a child alone when they don't have to. Why make this harder on yourself when you don't have too?"

His tone wasn't that pleasing to me, but I kept my cool as I said, "So, you're saying that I should marry Changmin and let him be named the father even if the baby is yours?"

That seemed to deflate all the air in his bubble. "Shit."

"Yeah. Shit."

He combed a hand through his hair, mussing it. Aaron looked away from me and out of his bedroom window. It was dark outside the sky lacked stars thanks to the city lights. After a moment, he looked back at me with solid determination.

"Marry me, Canisha."

I snorted. "You got to be joking."

"Not even a bit." Aaron reclaimed my hand. "Listen to me Canisha. A lot of things have happened between the three of us and it was something hard for all of us to overcome, but we could because we all care for each other. However, with you being pregnant, we can't just go back to the way we were when we were having sex. Or even before that, all took place. It's not possible. You know that too."

Maybe I did, somewhere deep down, and that was the reason I was so anxious about this all. Maybe that was the reason why I wanted so badly for us to just be friends and stay that way forever, even if the future of it looked bleak. But Aaron was right, turning back the clock to the time when we were nothing more than friends was impossible. Too much had occurred since then.

I shook my head. "If I won't marry Changmin, I can't marry you either, Aaron. I'm sorry."

Without me having to say it, his eyes showed he understood my unspoken words. I loved Changmin in a way I didn't love Aaron. We both knew it. I wanted Aaron in my life more than I could explain but Changmin... It was just different.

"You can't raise this child alone, Canisha. It's not fair to you and I would never want you to go through something like that."

"I won't be alone. By your words alone, I know you would be there with me every step of the way. By Changmin's declaration, he will as well. So, will my friends and my family." At least once I told them.

That was another conversation I wasn't looking forward to. I already knew how my overly religious mother would take the news and my father wouldn't be much better. However, with time and the help of my siblings they would surely be happy about welcoming their first grandchild.

Aaron sighed. "Dammit, Canisha. Why are you so stubborn?"

I shrugged but I couldn't stop myself from smiling. "Everything will be fine. I know it. And once I give birth, we can figure out who the father is." When Aaron went to speak, I added, "However, I still won't marry whoever the person is."

He sighed again. "You are too much sometimes."

"I know but you love me anyway." I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

His eyes slid my way and what I saw in them had my breath catching a bit. My heart began thudding faster and felt a bit hotter than I had a second ago.

"Hey guys, I'm back with the food."

Changmin's voice broke me out of whatever trance came over me and I stood quickly. He looked between Aaron and I but didn't comment on the tension in the room. "I bought your favorite, Canisha. Beef and broccoli with shrimp fried rice and spring rolls."

I nodded. "Thanks." I headed towards him and felt Aaron's eyes on my back.

I thought I was certain of my feelings but maybe... No, I knew how I felt. I shared something with Aaron before so there wasn't a surprise that it still lingered after so little time had passed. That didn't mean anything, right?

Chapter 2

Dinner was a bit more relaxed than I expected, thanks to efforts of Aaron and Changmin. The two joked around as usual and kept the conversation flowing, which took away most of the awkwardness and let me communicate as normal. We ended the night watching a movie like we used to do. It was the new Marvel one, but despite my enjoyment, I found myself falling asleep.

When I awoke the next morning, I was sleeping in the guest room. It was a surprise. Though the relationship between us was still rocky, it would not have been a shock if I woke up in Changmin's bed given his ham-handedness. So, that led me to think about what type of discussion had taken place while I was asleep that ended up with Aaron and Changmin coming to an agreement for me to sleep alone, which I appreciated.

After straightening the bed, I headed downstairs where I found Aaron making breakfast. "Good morning," he greeted me.

"Morning." I returned to greeting as I sat at the bar and watched him as he cooked. He moved between the stove, where he had eggs and bacon frying, to the blender, where he added a few pieces of fruit to a smoothie he was making, and finally to the sink, where he dropped a few cutleries he was finished with. It was clear that he was comfortable in the kitchen like I was.

Changmin came from down the hall that held a bathroom and the laundry room. "The sleepyhead has finally arisen." He mussed my already messy hair, which caused me to bat away his hand.

"Do you want me to attack you?" I asked, giving me my best glare.

"Only if you kiss my booboos better," he said with a wink.

I rolled my eyes.

"How about I kiss your booboos better," Aaron suggested as he placed a plate of eggs in front of me followed by a plate stacked with bacon. "That way Canisha can do whatever she wants and not suffer the consequences."

I grinned at Aaron. "See, this is why you're my favorite."

Changmin snorted and picked up a piece of bacon, taking a large bite. "No, thank you." He sat beside me and tossed an arm over my shoulders. "I prefer her kisses to yours."

"I agree with you there." Aaron placed the blended smoothie on the counter with a plate of pancakes before coming around the counter to sit on my other side.

Like dinner, breakfast passed smoothly with light conversation and banter. I helped the guys clean up after our meal, during which Aaron said, "Changmin and I came to a decision last night after you fell asleep."

h gee. That was one way to get my anxiety shooting through the roof. Lord knows what these two discussed in my absence, and I don't think I much liked having my future decided for me while I wasn't present. Not that it seemed to stop them from making these decisions.

"We will equally help you with all your needs during your pregnancy, and once the baby is born it will be an easy decision on who marries you."

"I didn't agree to the last part," Changmin stated after placing the last plate in the dishwasher and closing the door. "Canisha will marry me regardless of who's baby it is."

My eyes narrowed on him. "And who decided that?"

I know Changmin had a major domineering problem, and for some reason I still liked him, but it annoyed me that he didn't understand when and where it was less likely to annoy me. Then again, I guessed that was part of being domineering. A person didn't care if they were pissing another off because their ego was in the way of seeing the bigger picture.

"So, you're telling me, you're going to marry Aaron if the baby is his?" Changmin asked, crossing his arms over his chest, which just dared me to go against his words. Too bad his bullying never forced me into doing anything I didn't want to do.

"I'm not marrying either of you." I turned on Aaron then and said with annoyance bleeding into my tone, "I'm pretty sure I told you this last night."

Aaron stopped glaring at Changmin to meet my gaze. "Of everything Changmin and I disagreed on, we both agreed that you should be married. While America may be more accepting of a single parent culture, our culture isn't, which is part of the reason we feel the way we do. I personally don't want you to suffer any unnecessary struggles that you don't need to."

I knew that was true. I also knew it was unfair of me to choose to be with neither guy, but couldn't they see that it was for the best. I could practically see all the problems that would erupt if I really did pick someone, especially Changmin's case.

"Let's say, hypothetically, I marry one of you. How would the person I didn't marry feel about that? Would they be regretful or become more distant because they weren't the 'one'?" I put air quotes around the stressed word. "Then what should be done?"

"This would be solved if you just married me and everyone stopped making a big deal of it," Changmin stated.

I glared at him. "Stop being selfish. You always place yourself first and forget about Aaron's feelings and mine. What makes you so great that I should marry you?"

"Because you love me more than you love Aaron," he said with complete confidence.

I didn't respond to that and neither did Aaron. Instead, I closed my eyes and began rubbing my temples. Stress was building up in me and I needed to relax if only in consideration of the baby. Too much stress could negatively affect the fetus development.

"Am I wrong? Neither of you re saying anything."

"Changmin, just stop," Aaron said. I felt his hand on my back, rubbing in small, soothing circles. "I'm sorry, Canisha. I didn't start this conversation to stress you out."

"I know, Aaron."

I opened my eyes and looked back at Changmin. "Listen Changmin, whatever I feel towards you will not change my choice in this because I'm placing this baby first. Before me, before you, and before Aaron. No one else matters more to me and, even if you don't feel that way, I hope you can understand how I feel."

"I understand how you feel, Canisha," Aaron said as he took my hand in his. "I want what's best for the baby and you. I just feel that even if Changmin and I are next to you, you might still feel alone in all this."

I smiled. Aaron always knew what to say to make me feel better, and I believed his words. "I know and I thank you for being so concerned for me." I lifted our joined hands and placed a kiss to the back of his.

"You two just continue flirting in front of me like I'm not here."

I rolled my eyes. "Cry me a river, Changmin." I placed the dishrag I used to wipe off the counters back on the sink. "I'm going home."

Changmin followed me around the counter and to the door. "I'll come with you. There are still some things I want to talk about with you. Alone."

I could his last word was meant for Aaron instead of me. Looking over my shoulder at the other man, I shrugged. He nodded, accepting Changmin's demand before turning his attention to sweeping the floor.

"I'll drive."

Instead of arguing with Changmin, I handed him my car keys and headed over to the passenger side. We rode in silence for several minutes before I finally decided I was tired of waiting and asked, "What is it you wanted to talk about?"

"Why won't you marry me?"

I sighed. "Changmin—

"Don't give me any stupid excuses." He took a random right turn and pulled over beside a park.

There weren't many patrons at the park. I spotted a jogger or two, a mom or nanny playing with a couple kids on the playground and an elderly couple sitting on a bench. None of them were paying any attention to the two of us sitting in the parked vehicle.

"When I went to find you, you told me you loved me. Were you lying about that?"

"No, Changmin. You're pretending like you don't understand anything I've said this morning," I said, feeling my annoyance rising once more.

"Do I? Because I feel like you're purposely ignoring what happened between us. I've never felt this way about anyone, Canisha. You are literally the only person I want." His voice was so earnest as he spoke those words to me.

It made my rising anger dissipate and I decided to once again try to explain my thoughts. "A lot has happened between you and me. It would be a lie if I said it didn't cause me a dilemma when trying to figure out what to do. But Aaron—

"Forget Aaron!" He shouted.

"I can't!" I shouted back. "Aaron means a lot to me too, Changmin. He's..." I couldn't think of the right word to say that would describe how I felt about Aaron without angering Changmin. After a moment, I finally said, "He's just important to me. I want him in my life just as much as I want you. I also know you care for him as much as I do."

"Of course, I care for Aaron, but I love you, Canisha. I'm not afraid to admit that I will always place you first," he said. "Which is why I want you to marry me Canisha."

I shook my head. "This conversation is getting us nowhere. We already discussed this before I left, and I haven't changed my mind since then. I don't want to cause anyone any more hurt than I already have."

"But can't you see you are hurting me." Before I could respond to that, he continued. "You believe that by picking neither of us you're sparing our feelings, but in honesty, you're only sparing your own feelings. Neither of us will be happy if you don't pick one, and you might feel comfortable with yourself, but you won't be happy either. Am I wrong?"

"I..." I wanted to say something, but I couldn't. He was right. That was exactly what I was doing. Sparing my own feelings with the excuse of not wanting to hurt either of them. However, that didn't make the choice any simpler.

"Marry me, Canisha."

"I can't."

Before I could stop him, he had my seatbelt unbuckled and pulled me into his lap. "Marry me." This time he said the words against my lips.

I took a deep breath but all it was making me breathe his scent in deeper. When he kissed me, I didn't fight him. I let him take possession over my mouth as he had done time and time again. His arms held me close as he filled my senses with him. It was hard not to return the full passion of his kiss.

When he finally pulled away, both of us were breathing heavily and he repeated once more, "Marry me."

I rested my forehead against his and closed my eyes. Tears burned behind my eyelids as I tried to regain control of myself. "I can't," I whispered. Finding my strength, I returned to my own seat and buckled up. "Take me home, Changmin."

His eyes burned my skin, but I wouldn't meet his gaze, instead choosing to look out of the window at the leaves dancing on the wind. One broke free of its branch and drifted slowly down to the concrete. A car passed by, and the wind it created whooshed the leaf out of my sight. Still, his eyes seared holes into my flesh but I refused to look at him because if I did, I was afraid I would become like the leaf and break free of whatever was holding me in place, floating away into the unknown.

The car began moving again and I inwardly sighed with relief. Several minutes later, Changmin pulled into my house's driveway and parked the car. We both got out of the vehicle at the same time but Changmin moved faster than I did, blocking my path to the house.

I stared at him in question.

"Before I leave, I need you to understand something."

My hand clenched at my side involuntarily as the rest of my body tensed.

"I'm not giving up on us, no matter what you say or what anyone says for that matter," he told me. "I don't care if the baby ends up being Aaron's. In my eyes, you will always be mine." He pressed my car keys into my hand then walked away before I could respond.

I watched his receding back for a moment before turning towards the house. Rubbing my aching temple, I headed inside.

"Who's home?" Darian's voice called from the living room.

"It's just me," I said in response.

Her head poked around the corner and the smile she had on her face turned into a frown. "Everything okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I'll be upstairs planning my classes for the summer if you need me."

Despite my words, when I got to my bedroom, I simply fell into my bed and tried not to think for a moment.

The following morning, I headed downstairs to make myself some food before heading to my doctor's appointment. Now that I was back in the States, my gynecologist wanted me to come into the office to have my first checkup. My original appointment was scheduled two weeks later but she had a cancellation and fit me in with an earlier appointment.

Reese and Becca were the only two in the house as the others were either already at class or work. Becca was eating cereal at the dining room table while Reese was making herself some scrambled eggs.

"You're not going to burn those this time, right?" I asked her as I opened the fridge.

"Har har. I'm not that bad of a cook. At least I've never burned salad like a certain someone," Reese said over her shoulder.

"I heard that!" Becca called from the dining room.

"You were meant to."

I chuckled as I retrieved a cup of strawberry yogurt and a banana.

"Is that all you're eating?" Reese asked me.

I shook my head. "I plan on making myself some oatmeal too. Though, I'm honestly not as hungry as I used to be." That probably had to do my nauseous spells and morning sickness, which didn't only occur in the morning. A pleasant surprise I discovered after making myself dinner once at Lorenzo's place. Whoever came up with the name 'morning sickness' was a liar.

"Gosh, I feel like I would be the opposite if I was pregnant. My appetite would probably quadruple," Reese exaggerated as she dished her eggs onto a waiting plate. "What do you think, Becca?"

"About you becoming a fat pig when you're pregnant? I one hundred percent agree," Becca said between bites of her cereal.

Reese "accidentally" knocked Becca's head with her elbow as she passed by to take her own seat.

"Ouch, you freaking bitch."

"Love you too babe." Reese blew her a kiss.

I laughed and shook my head as I placed my bowl of oatmeal in the microwave before joining the two at the table. The doorbell rang just as I was about to sit down. I groaned and began to rise when Reese shook her head at me.

"I got it."

Thankful, I took my seat as she went to the door. She returned a moment later with Aaron in tow.

"Good morning, ladies."

"Mornin'," Becca managed around the bowl she currently held to her lips to drink the last of her milk.

"Good morning," I greeted. "What brings you here so early?"

"I have to return to Korea tomorrow, so I figured I spend the day with you."

"And Changmin?"

Aaron sat in the spot next to Reese. "He was up half the night on a conference call with our manager and the CEO, so don't expect him to appear before noon."

I thought about it as I ate some of my yogurts. If I brought Aaron with me to my first appointment and Changmin found out, he would throw a tantrum. Then I would probably get upset and start an argument with him about it. Neither of us will see each other's point until cooling off sometime later. Then, we would both apologize for being unthoughtful.

If this was a few months ago, we probably would end up having great sex too. However, that step was officially off the table. Sex would most definitely ruin what I was trying to maintain between the three of us. I just hoped my body would be as strong as my mind because after that kiss in the car I wasn't so sure.

Though, the fact that I could predict what would happen once Changmin found out about me taking Aaron to my appointment like clockwork spoke volumes. And, despite knowing Changmin would get mad about me bringing Aaron, it wouldn't be fair to Aaron leave him behind when he was already here. Also, if Changmin was up most of the night, he probably wouldn't wake up even if I tried calling him right now, so there was no point trying.

"What are your plans for the day?" Aaron asked me, drawing me out of my thoughts.

"I have a doctor appointment. Then I was going to head to school and talk to my advisor about my classes. After that, I'm pretty much free. Since I'm not taking classes right now, I figured I should probably look for a job too. I don't have financial aid to support me for the next few months as I'm used to."

By Aaron's expression, he had come to the same conclusion I had earlier. He began to chuckle. "Changmin might try to kill us both if I go with you."

I shrugged. "I'll have more appointments he can attend if he wants to. He'll get over it." Eventually.

"I'm off to classes losers." Becca dropped a kiss on my head and then Reese's before placing her bowl in the kitchen sink. She then headed out the door with her backpack slung over her shoulder.

Reese cursed and looked at the time on her phone. "I'm running later than I thought." She shoved the rest of her food in the mouth as she rushed into the kitchen and put her own plate in the sink before practically running out the door with a passing farewell.

"And then there were two." Aaron grinned, which I returned. "I'm ready whenever you are."

We arrived at the doctor's office time to spare and waited patiently for my name to be called in the waiting room. Aaron picked up a magazine from the coffee table in front of us and began flipping through it.

"We should go shopping for baby things today."

"Dude, you do realize I'm like months away from giving birth." I wasn't sure of my exact conception date, but I figured I was around two months since I was sure I had gotten pregnant after being sick.

"Nothing wrong being prepared," Aaron stated. "I also won't be able to come back to town for several weeks due to preparations for our new album and the company is talking about me taking part in a new drama."

"That's great."

Even after being in the business for several years, the guys' popularity hadn't died quickly like many other K-pop groups. A lot of fans like to think they were part of the reason K-pop became a global phenomenon. And since they had been in the business for a while, they had more control over their career than newbies.

"What types of dramas are you looking at doing?"

Aaron flipped the page of his magazine as he responded, "There's a crime one that seems interesting. I like the script for the first episode, but the writer is known to be a bit flaky, so the company is pushing me towards this romantic comedy about a one-night stand. Look at this." He turned the magazine so I could see it as well. A quick glance showed me the page was about high-tech devices for babies that parents could buy. "We should buy this baby monitoring onesie. I didn't even know such a thing existed."

I quickly skimmed the information and discovered the onesie monitored the baby vitals and sent the information to your phone through an app you could download from the Appstore. Apparently, it also sent you alerts whenever something was irregular, including when the baby was crying. Intriguing but unnecessary.

"I am not wasting money on something like that. They have simple monitors I can buy that don't cost an arm and a leg."

"Don't worry. I'll buy it."

"Aaron..." We hadn't really talked over his extravagant gift giving yet and it was clearly something that needed to be done. "I love you Aaron, but when you buy me expensive things it makes me uncomfortable."

"Okay, I can accept that, but this isn't for you technically." He smiled his warm, loving smile.

I rolled my eyes. "And technically I still don't like it." I looked around the waiting room, which was decently packed with expecting mothers and family members, but everyone was caught up in their own worlds to be paying any attention to me and Aaron. "You know I appreciate everything you've done for me but please no more gifts. I beg you."

His smile wavered a bit and then he sighed. "I'm sorry. I never meant to make you uncomfortable."

"I know. I was at fault too for just accepting everything you gave me. I was wrong for a lot of things I did."

Aaron put the magazine down and covered one of my hands with his. "We were all caught up in everything that was going on, it's not a surprise it blew up in all of our faces." He shook his head. "I guess I kept giving you so much because I could feel something wasn't right and whenever I saw you and Changmin together that dismay grew."

I blinked at him in shock. "You knew?"

"No. Not really. But I assumed something was going on between you two that I couldn't see." Aaron chuckled. "I eventually built it up in my head that I was imagining things. That tells you how desperate I was, doesn't it?"

I understood that desperation. I had felt it too.

Lacing our fingers together I smiled up at him. "At the end of the day, I'm happy you're still my friend."

"Canisha Tirburcio."

I stood at the call of my name. "Let the fun begin," I said to him before heading towards the nurse.

We were walking out of the office when I got a call from Changmin. So far, all good things. The baby was developing fine. The only concern with me was slightly high blood pressure but it ran in the family, so the doctor wasn't too worried, however, she did want me to monitor it daily. I got several ultrasound images printed for both the guys and my friends, who had all requested one the previous night. I just knew some of them were going to use the picture for nefarious purposes, but I still did as they asked.

I was also nearly accurate with how far along I was. The doctor put me at 10 weeks, which meant we were also able to hear the heartbeat. It was an aweing moment during which Aaron had gazed at me with such care and affection my own heart rate picked up. It put it off to my own excitement over the baby and nothing more because I knew I didn't feel for Aaron that way.

Due to hearing all good things, I answered my phone with a cheery voice. "Hello."

"Hey, what are your plans for the rest of the day?"

"Aaron and I are heading to my school's campus right now so I can meet my advisor then Aaron said he wanted to check out a few kids stores to go window shopping."

The other line was silent for a moment before Changmin said, "I'll meet you guys at your school. What building are you heading to?"

"That seems quite pointless," I told him. "How about Aaron and I swing by to pick you up?" I looked at Aaron, who nodded in agreement.

"Fine. I'll see you soon."

When we arrived at the house, Changmin was already waiting outside. He shot a glare at Aaron before getting in the backseat.

"So, where did you lovebirds go off to this morning?"

"We—

"I'm surprised you're up already." I quickly cut Aaron off. I was not in the mood for an argument. "Aaron told me you were up late, and I figured you probably wouldn't wake up until after lunch time."

Aaron sent me a questioning glance and I gave him an answering look. He nodded and pulled out of the drive, apparently agreeing with my view of things.

"Yeah, I didn't want to wake up, but I knew you would be up already. Since Aaron and I have to go back to Korea tomorrow, I figured I should get up and spend what was left of the day with you."

I turned and gave him a smile. "I'm so lucky to have two handsome men stalk me all day, aren't I?"

"You are. If anymore start doing it, we're going to have a problem." His smirk softened the harshness of his tone.

I rolled my eyes and giggled. "I doubt that will be happening any time soon."

It took me less than thirty minutes to get everything sorted out at school. My new schedule was set, and I would be able to register for classes in a few weeks. My advisor also helped me plan out new future schedules so I wouldn't have to worry about my graduation being pushed back. The fact that I took classes in the summer helped the mat

From there we headed to the mall, which was home to several baby and kids stores. While the guys debated over what was best to get for the baby, I played joyful mediator and reminded them at every store nothing was being bought today.

"We should get a neutral color since we don't even know the gender yet," Aaron stated holding up two onesies, one yellow and one white.

"Or we can just get blue because it's a better color than both of those," Changmin took the clothing from Aaron and put them back on the rack.

"You guys do remember we're not buying anything, right?" I reminded for the thousandth time as I strolled towards the next section of the store.

"We should at least pick out furniture from now," Changmin said, catching up to me.

"I agree with that," Aaron said from my other side.

"You two are hopeless." Despite my words, I giggled.

Overall, it was an enjoyable day. Changmin almost purchased a crib but Aaron and I managed to convince him that it was too early to really buy anything. It was nice to have Aaron on my side when it came to that point despite his earlier claims to want to buy a bunch of baby things from now. We ate a late lunch at a nearby restaurant, where we had a playful banter similar to the ones we used to have in the past.

When the guys dropped me off at home, most of the girls were already back. Aaron went to use the bathroom as I joined Kira and Darian in the living room with Changmin.

"Hey, Canisha. How did your appointment go today?" Kira asked.

Darian had a look of remembrance take over her face. "Oh yeah. Where's my picture?"

I glanced at Changmin, who was frowning before reaching in my purse and pulling out the pictures. After handing each girl one, I turned to Changmin and gave him one as well.

"I didn't know if you would want one, but I had one printed for you anyways."

He stared at the ultrasound before leveling his gaze on me. "This is where you went with Aaron?"

"Now, before you get mad, Aaron came to the house without any warning and it just made sense for me to bring him with me instead of making him wait until I was done."

Changmin took a deep breath and closed his eyes as if trying to control the anger boiling up in him. I took his hand and lead him back out of the house, not wanting to have an argument in front of my friends. The last time was once too many.

"I know you're trying to play fair in your head, but do you really see this as something that will work out?" He asked with an even tone.

I sighed. "We already talked about this yesterday, Changmin."

"Yeah, and I wasn't satisfied with the outcome. Do you realize how pissed off I am knowing you brought Aaron to your appointment without me?"

"Changmin, you're overreacting. You know there is no meaning behind me bringing him with me." I reached out to him, but he took a step back, causing me to frown.

His eyes narrowed on me. "I don't plan on sharing you with him again or with anyone else."

I crossed my arms over my chest and thought some happy thoughts to control my own growing annoyance. "Changmin, please. We had such a nice day today. Don't ruin it now."

"You're going to have to choose, Canisha," he said with finality. "Now. Not later or after the baby is born."

Aaron came outside then, glancing between me and Changmin. "I'm guessing he knows."

I gave him a droll stare, letting know he was not helping the situation at hand.

Before I could react, I was being tugged towards Changmin. His arm was around my waist and his hand was at the back of the head, holding me close for a kiss I hadn't expected. My hands braced against his shoulders as he kissed me with an aggressive passion I hadn't experience from him before. And then he was torn away from me and Aaron was standing between us.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Changmin glared at him as he said, "She's mine. You know that as much as I do. So, stop being a wimp and man up to the reality of our situation."

"Canisha is not your property and she can think for herself. If she doesn't want to be with you, you can't force her." Aaron's tone brokered no argument.

When Changmin took a threatening step towards him, I stepped between the two. "Enough of this, guys. You two are leaving town tomorrow. Don't you prefer leaving on a good note?"

"Choose, Canisha," Changmin said.

"If she chose me, what would you do?" Aaron questioned him.

By the look in Changmin's eye, he hadn't thought that was a possibility, which was probably why he was forcing the issue. He met my gaze and said, "Would you choose Aaron?"

Apparently, Changmin was right. I was naïve in thinking that this would work out. The future held more arguments similar to this one. Changmin telling me to choose. Aaron pushing him back. And me just hopelessly stuck in the middle.

"Okay. I'll choose."

Both guys looked at me in shock, apparently not expecting me to say that. Which was funny given that it was what they were pushing for. Well, they would finally get what they wanted.

I reached for Changmin's hand and pulled until he came closer to me. Going up on my tiptoes, I gave him a kiss on the cheek. I turned to Aaron and repeated the action. Dropping both of their hands, I stepped toward the door and turned to give them both a smile.

"I hope you guys have a good life and wish you all the best, but I don't want to see either of you again," I told them before going inside.

Chapter 3

In my bed, I started crying harder than I thought possible. Not even after everything that went wrong before Christmas caused me to cry this much. I just didn't know what else to do but cut the guys out of my life. Changmin was right, it wasn't fair for me to juggle between the two of them. We would all just end up hurt in the end. It was best to just cut ties completely.

That didn't mean it didn't still hurt like hell. Because it did. My heart felt like it was being torn to pieces and I couldn't do anything to stop it. Yet, I deserved this, didn't I? This had all happened because I was too greedy and had placed my feelings above both of theirs.

The thought of it only made me cry harder until my whole body was shaking. All I wanted was for us to remain friends but not even that was possible. All the hope I had laid in pieces next to me as my strength seemed to slip away.

I felt my bed dip behind me, and an arm wrap around my waist. Another body settled in front of me, cuddling me close. A hand petted my head in a comforting motion while another hand picked up mine and began rubbing my palm with its thumb.

"It's okay, Canisha. Everything will be fine," Darian said from behind me.

"Exactly. No matter what, we're here for you." Kira told me from the side.

"Yup. We'll just become six lesbian mothers," Becca stated.

That had my lips tilting up. "Were you guys eavesdropping?"

"Possibly," Kira admitted. "Though it shouldn't surprise you since you know we're nosey."

That was true. Though I wasn't much better when it came to their business, so I couldn't fault them.

"I agree to the whole lesbian thing on the condition that I'm the butch one. I think I'll look good with short hair," said Carelyn, running her fingers through the long black tresses that framed her heart-shaped face.

"Like you would ever cut your hair. You're better off being the reckless mother," Reese told her, which caused me to chuckle. "Now I, on the other hand, can pull off a pixie cut," she stated, playing with her own blonde hair.

"You guys are such losers," I told them.

"Yeah, but we're your losers." Darian squeezed me from behind.

Someone yelled "Starfish!" and suddenly I was being piled on. One voice of reason reminded to girls of my delicate condition, but they didn't seem to mind.

"She's on her side, so the baby's not being squished."

The last of my tears cleared up and I shoved at my friends. "Get your fat asses off me before I start kicking them."

They all laughed, and I was grateful to have them in my life. Even if I couldn't have a life with both Aaron and Changmin in it, I knew I would be fine as long as my friends stood by my side.

The next several weeks passed without any newsworthy event. I found a job as a hostess at the local restaurant through a friend of Carelyn's. Becca signed us all up for maternity yoga classes, which we together did on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. When I wasn't working, I maintain my studies by reviewing old material and spending time in the school's library. Whatever free time I had left over, I spent working on my blog, something I neglected a lot in recent months, but luckily my followers weren't too mad.

During this time, I didn't receive any messages or calls from Changmin. It seemed he took my words seriously. Aaron, on the other hand, sent me message both of encouragement and affection, ending each response by saying I didn't have to reply back. I never did, but I looked forward to the messages he sent me each day. He also sent me updates on their work.

Kai was working on a new drama that would start airing in another week. Junghyun began doing a musical, which was based off a popular drama. Yoochun had finished touring for his solo album in Asia and the company wanted to have a few more concerts in both Americas and Europe after the group finished their next album together. Aaron had ended up choosing to work on the crime drama he preferred, which I was happy for. Changmin apparently had his own solo album coming out, which was why he had that late-night conference call while here last.

It was kind of cool to have my own intel on the group that all the news outlets couldn't get or wouldn't have until much later.

I also received a few calls from Lorenzo since returning home. Our first one took place only a few days after the guys left. During that call, I explained the situation to him. He basically told me that if I ever wanted to, I could always go back to Italy, but I assured him I was comfortable in California.

After being there for me in my moment of need, Lorenzo quickly became a good friend to me once again. During my stay in Italy, he did everything to ensure I was either too busy to cry or too tired. When he wasn't working, he took me tours of his home country of both the historical and party type. The days we didn't go out, he sat and chatted with me until I was too tired to think of anything else but sleep. Once I left Italy, we stayed in touch, talking at least once a week. I'm pretty sure he knew more about me than anyone else at this point, and I knew just as much about him.

My birthday arrived before I knew it. I was awoken too early in the morning by the girls much to my great pleasure.

"It's the crack of dawn."

"It's 8 am. Dawn was at least 2 hours ago." Kira stated as she pulled me out of bed.

Maybe. But I was up until 3, so any time before noon was dawn in my eyes.

Becca dropped a kiss on my cheek and gave me a quick hug. "Happy birthday."

Her actions were repeated by Darian, Carelyn, Reese, and then Kira after I was finally standing on my feet.

"Thank you all for the good wishes. Now I'm going back to bed."

Before I could walk two steps, Reese latched onto my arm. "Oh no, you don't. We have a long day ahead of us planned."

I groaned. "It's my birthday. Why can't I do what I want?"

"Because what you want is no fun," Darian stated. "You need to take a shower and get dress."

"Our first stop is IHOP for breakfast," Carelyn announced.

IHOP? I did love their pancakes. And going out to eat mean I didn't have to cook for myself. Not that the girls didn't try to cook for me on my birthdays before. It just never turned out well. Something would always end up getting burned because either someone got distracted or the heat was left up too high. A couple of years ago, Darian accidentally left the kitchen towel on the stove and almost burned the house down. So, in the end, I would just end up doing most of cooking to avoid any incidents.

"Is Raphael coming?" I asked Becca.

I had met her boyfriend after being home a week when he took us all out for dinner to celebrate her birthday. He seemed like a decent man, but I hadn't been the fondest of him at first. It had to do with the fact that I was very protected of my friends. Whenever they started dating someone new, I judged them thoroughly given that my friends didn't have the best track record when it came to dating. Not that I was much better now, but old habits die hard.

However, Raphael quickly proved he was a man worthy of my best friend. He showed how much he cared for her in his every gesture. Always ensuring she was comfortable. Giving her the sweetest kisses on top of her head for no reason what so ever. Going out of his way to pick her up after us girls hung out late into the night. And to top it off, he showed clear support in all her decisions. Though they hadn't known each other for long, it was clear they could make it the long haul.

"He's outside."

"Well, you should tell him to come inside. I won't be long, but he doesn't have to wait out there."

"He's outside because he's talking to—uh." Darian's words ended in a grunt as Kira elbowed her in the side.

I frowned. "Who is he talking to?"

"It's a surprise," Kira said, hustling me into my bedroom. "Take your shower and I'll pick out some clothes for you to wear."

"Hey! I called dibs on that job yesterday!"

With the girls help, it took me twenty minutes longer than usual to get ready. They kept on changing their mind on what I should wear, while I watched their antics in only my towel as I sat on my bed. Becca had sat next to me, watching with equal amusement. Once upon a time, she would have joined in the charade just for the fun of it, as I would on their birthdays as well.

"Why are you not participating?"

Becca shrugged. "Because I already have your outfit put together and I know you'll like it better than anything they can come up with," she stated with a grin.

I raised an eyebrow as she leaned over the bed and pulled her big purse into her lap. From it, she pulled out a shopping bag. "I already washed the clothes since I know how you feel about wearing new clothes start from the store."

She revealed a yellow sundress with spaghetti straps and multicolor floral print. It was composed of a short bodice and a flared skirt, the material a stretchy cotton.

"Pretty," I said with much approval as I held the dress up to take in the full picture.

"Happy birthday," She said with a smile as she held out a pair of gold earrings to go with the dress.

I took the earrings and pulled her into a hug. "Thank you, love. I'll slip this on now, so we can finally leave."

Shucking the towel, I grabbed a set of bra and underwear from my drawer and slipped them on before putting on the dress. I checked myself out in the mirror and liked what I saw. The bodice of the dress stopped right below my breasts and the built-in cups actually fit the pair, a nice surprise. The skirt of the dress flowed down to my knees, concealing my pregnancy for the most part. At five months, my baby bump protruded a bit but still somewhat unnoticeable in super loose clothing.

The other girls stop their fussing sometime after I finished dressing and was picking out some shoes to wear.

"That's a cute dress. When did you get it?" Darian asked.

Carelyn narrowed her eyes at Becca. "It definitely wasn't in your closet two seconds ago."

"No, it wasn't," I confirmed. "Now let's go before Becca's beau dies from waiting too long."

I hustled all the girls out of the house and locked the door behind us. When I turned around, I was shocked to see a familiar face.

"Lorenzo?" My eyes wide, I moved towards him. "What are you doing here?" I asked as a big, uncontrollable smile spread across my lip.

"Couldn't let you spend such a special day without me."

I grinned. "You mean you have a business meeting here and decided to kill some time with me."

"Nope. I literally came here for your birthday and that only. I head back to Italy tomorrow morning. My sister is currently holding down the company while I'm gone." My ex-boyfriend wrapped me in his arms and gave me a tight squeeze as he told me this. "Happy birthday."

When we pulled apart, I gave him a playful punch in the arm. "You should have told me you were coming into town."

"So, you could tell me I was wasting money and not to come," he stated, clearly knowing how that conversation would have gone and I couldn't deny it. "I think it's better I kept it a surprise."

I rolled my eyes, but it was easy to tell I wasn't that annoyed.

"Canisha."

I turned to the familiar voice and saw Aaron and Changmin getting out of one of the SUV they kept at their house to use whenever they were in town. It was weird seeing them again after what felt like forever, even if it had only been two months. It wasn't that I really never expected to see them again but that they would probably give me space until the baby was born then whoever the father was would be around every so often but still spend the bulk of their time in Korea. Maybe that had all been wishful thinking on my part.

Yet, I realized I was still super happy to see them both. I didn't feel like I missed them much, especially with Aaron's regular updates, but now I knew I missed them a lot.

I hugged Changmin first and sighed contently when I felt his arms wrap around me. He kissed my temple before whispering in my ear, "I've missed you a lot, Canisha."

"Me too."

Pulling away from him, I hugged Aaron next, who kissed my cheek as he basically lifted me from my feet with his bear hug. "Happy birthday."

"Thanks."

Once back on my feet, I glanced between the two of them. "How come you guys are here?"

"Last year we didn't get to spend your actual birthday with you, so we decided to make up for it this year," Changmin said.

"We also brought Yoochun and Junghyun with us too. They drove in another vehicle so we would have enough space to fit everyone. Kai was too busy with his drama to come," Aaron informed me.

Per his words, the other SUV they leased here pulled up behind the first. Junghyun and Yoochun popped out and gave me more hugs.

After introducing everyone who didn't know each other, I asked Becca, "Which IHOP are we going to?"

"The one on Bernard. We should leave now before the breakfast crowd arrives," she said, latching on to her boyfriend and guiding him towards his car.

On a whim, I headed to the car Aaron was driving without a word, figuring everyone could settle who they were driving with without any help. I expect at least two of the girls would ride with me. Imagine my surprise when I found Lorenzo climbing into the backseat next to me and Changmin scowling at him from the passenger seat with Aaron sitting next to him amused.

I could already sense the awkwardness and glance over at my girlfriends who split between Raphael's truck and the SUV Junghyun was driving. I would take their craziness over the situation I was currently in any day.

"So, Lorenzo. How long are you in town?" Aaron asked after he got settled in our table at IHOP.

"Just for the day. I have to return home tomorrow for a meeting," Lorenzo said absently as he looked over the menu.

Changmin snorted. "It seems pretty pathetic to travel halfway across the world for your ex-girlfriend's birthday."

The girls and I were currently having a debate about the best classes to take during the summer semester and which teachers gave out the best grades. The conversation initially started while we were waiting for our table and had yet to be settled. It was probably a useless debate since it didn't really affect any of us this late in our college careers, but it was fun. Though, given that I was sitting next to Changmin and across from Lorenzo, their conversation caught my attention.

"Not as pathetic as chasing a girl across several borders when she clearly didn't want to see you," Lorenzo stated, casually.

Now my attention was fully on the pair and I tuned out the debate that was still ongoing between the girls. I glanced over at Changmin to gauge his response, only to find him glaring at Lorenzo with pure irritation. Lorenzo, on the other hand, was completely relaxed, still reading over his menu as if he hadn't just uttered cutting words.

Yoochun and Junghyun were also very tuned into what was going on between them, just as Aaron and I. That had me wondering just how much they knew about our situation. I know that Kai found out somewhat about what was going on between us, but I didn't know if he or anyone else had clued Yoochun and Junghyun in on the mess of our relationship.

"Um...can you guys not do this?" I looked between the two men.

Lorenzo gave me a smile and shrugged. "Just having some fun with my dear friend's... What are you to her again?" I nearly groaned. "I'm just joking, Canisha. I wouldn't do anything to ruin your special day."

I know he meant it, but it didn't seem like he could hold himself to those words. Changmin definitely wasn't helping the situation with his petty behavior. Not only had he been pissed off about Lorenzo sitting next to me in the car, but he also didn't seem very happy about our cheerful conversation on the ride over here. Aaron only made matters worse by suggesting that Lorenzo and I were a compatible pair, something I knew he said on purpose to tease Changmin.

"Yeah, just some fun." Changmin agreed.

I sighed hoping this behavior wouldn't continue through the rest of the day.

How wrong was I to hope for anything?

The girls had planned a great day to celebrate my birthday. After breakfast, we headed to the bookstore, one of our favorite hangouts, where they bought me several books I had been wanting to get for a while. We then headed to Dave and Buster's to compete and see who would win the most tickets. The day ended at our house, where we marathoned Disney movies and ate Chinese food.

It was a day I would have thoroughly enjoyed if not having to run interference between two alpha males that felt they had something to prove. At the bookstore, they made it their mission to see who could deliver the slyest insults without anyone's notice. At the arcade, their competition was anything but friendly and it slowly became more obvious to everyone else as to what was happening. By the end of the night, they ruined two of my favorite movies with their snarky comments.

During this debacle, I had looked to Aaron for help, who also knew from the get-go what was going on. Of course, because he was partly the blame for it. The man only shrugged with a helpless grin on his face. He obviously decided not to get involved in this battle. Maybe because his friendship with Changmin was still rocky after all that had taken place. Whatever his reason, it irked me that he was doing nothing.

At the end of Beauty and the Beast, Changmin looked over at Lorenzo with the most innocent smile as he said, "Gaston remains me of you, Lorenzo. Annoying, overconfident, and doing more than anyone wants him to."

Lorenzo was quick to quip back at him. "This bad boy attitude you have is boring." His gaze drifted over to me as he asked, "What did you see in him again, Canisha? If you need money, I'll give it to you for nothing in return just to get this jerk out of your life."

"Offering a woman money is something only desperate men do to try and compensate for what they lack. What exactly are you trying to compensate for?" His eyes moved down Lorenzo's form, a clear indication of his insult.

"Changmin." I pinched his side to let him know his words were uncalled for.

"Oh, compensate." Lorenzo chuckled humorlessly. "That's funny. Then again, who did she come running to when she was hurt and depressed? Do you recall?"

"Lorenzo..." I let my voice carry the warning without issuing the threat.

"Guys, this is getting old. You both need to stop it." Kira told them from her spot on the floor.

The girls were just as tired of their nonsense as I was, which you could tell from the looks on their faces as their eyes swung between the two men as they traded insults.

"I'm just going to start the next movie." Raphael got up from his perch beside Becca and ambled over to the TV.

"I wouldn't have an issue if Changmin wasn't so obnoxious."

"Obnoxious like inviting oneself somewhere that no one wanted them."

Having enough, I stood up. "I'm done. I'm tired. I'm going to bed."

Changmin stood as well. "You should spend the night at our house."

"What about cake and ice cream?" Darian asked. "We still haven't eaten either yet."

"And you didn't open your gifts," Reese stated.

And for the first time in ever, I was in the mood for neither of my favorite treats. "You guy can eat it without me. I'm going upstairs." I smiled at the two gentlemen who effectively killed any good mood I had. "Thanks for ruining my birthday. I really appreciated it."

Changmin had the decency to look ashamed, as did Lorenzo. Good. They both should be. At the beginning of the day I had been so happy that everyone had come to celebrate the day with me. Even being woken up earlier hadn't dimmed my excitement as to the fun that could have been had.

Chapter 4

I was editing a blog I had planned on publishing tomorrow on my bed when there was a knock on my door. Expecting it to be one of the girls, I called for the person to come in. I was surprised when it was Changmin walking in instead.

"I don't want to talk to you," I told him.

He sighed and closed the door behind him before approaching the bed. "I'm really sorry for my behavior today, Canisha."

I rolled my eyes and focused back on my computer. He sat next to me and took my hand, drawing my attention away from what I was working on. I meet his eyes and saw he really was regretful, which made me soften a bit.

"Changmin, why did you act that way today?"

"Because I haven't seen you in months! Gosh, you don't know how much I missed you, how much I wanted to contact you. Yet, I didn't because you said you didn't want to see me again and I...I didn't realize how much those words could hurt until you spoke them to me."

I looked down at our joined hands. "I'm sorry. I just can't hurt one of you by picking between the two of you, so I chose neither of you."

"I understand. I do. I also realized that I was wrong to try and force your hand," Changmin said. "I just... I literally feel like I'm going crazy because of how much I love you and how much you don't love me."

"I—

He placed a finger to my lips and shook his head. "You don't have to lie to me, Canisha. I've come to accept that I'm alone in this feeling."

I pushed his hand away. "But you're not. I love you too. A lot. But I don't want to be selfish anymore, especially now when I have these babies depending on me." Without thinking, I placed a hand over my growing stomach, which was had grown much faster than I expected it too. I learned why by my second appointment. I was having twins.

"Babies? As in more than one?" Changmin glanced down at my stomach.

It was a shocking surprise. Yet, I was a bit happy about it, weirdly. I always wanted to have twins. Granted it meant twice the work, but it was better to be happy about something than depressed.

"Crazy, right? This will be a fun ride."

"And you still won't marry me?" He asked.

I shook my head. "Not changing my mind on that front."

He sighed and pulled me closer until he was able to wrap me up in a hug. Changmin rested his head on my shoulder as he held me close. "If it's possible, I want to take back my words. After these months I realized that I rather have you in my life than not."

"You really think you would be able to hold yourself back? Not have an outburst like today?"

He was silent for a moment and I appreciated that he was taking the time to think about it instead of immediately saying the words I wanted to hear. "I'm not perfect so I can't promise I will always be civil about you, especially in relation to other men, but I can try."

Finally, I returned his hug and gave him a tight squeeze. "I'll take it."

My door opened and Aaron popped his head in. "Is everything okay in here?"

I pulled away from Changmin and threw a pillow at Aaron.

"Hey! What did I do?" He asked as he dodged the projectile.

"Nothing, you asshole. And you knew I wanted your help."

Aaron shrugged. "If I tried to stop Changmin from looking like a fool all the time, I would die from exhaustion."

Changmin hopped up and chased Aaron out of the room while I laughed with amusement. Becca appeared in my open doorway shaking her head. "Are you feeling better, hun?"

I nodded and stood. "Let's have cake and ice cream before the guys piss me off again."

After reconciling with the guys, I was once again spending more time in their company. However, with them working on new activities in Korea and myself once again taking classes while working, it wasn't much time spent together. When we didn't see each other, we spoke over the phone or exchanged messages to stay current.

Within two weeks of the reconciliation, packages began arriving at the house. Each box containing some kind of baby item. Clothes. Bottles. Diapers. Changmin even bought me a breast pump and chalked it up to his kindness and foresight.

Initially, I tried to crack down on it, but I didn't feel like starting another argument, so I decided to just accept their help with graciousness. It could be worse, as Carelyn pointed out to me. Both of them could have simply stopped talking to me and never acknowledge my pregnancy. Given that worst-case scenario, it was hard not to be happy that they weren't doing just that.

As I drew closer to my due date, they also were spending more time in town than not. Despite their efforts, I still went into labor without either of them present. My parents, on the other hand, were there by chance since they had already planned a trip to visit me the past Christmas.

They, of course, hadn't been happy to find out I was pregnant and even more so to not be told who the father was. Due to both their island upbringing and their heavily religious beliefs, their opinions and the matter wasn't much a surprise to me when I first told them after coming home from Europe. Also, it wasn't my fault I couldn't tell them who the father was.

Okay, it was. I wasn't forced to have sex with two different men at the same time, but since I didn't know who the father was there was nothing to be done until the babies were born. Though, I still wasn't sure if I even wanted to tell my parents at that point because I didn't know how they would take it. Even with the support of my sisters, who still lived at home with them, I wasn't totally confident that everything would work out fine in term of my relationship with my parents. However, I decided not to stress it too much because nothing could really be done until the babies were born.

"Do you need anything, hun? Some food?" My mother asked for what felt like the hundredth time since we reached the hospital.

"The doctor said she's not allowed to eat." My father scowled at my mother from the sofa across the room of the birthing suite.

I rolled my eyes. The way my parents bickered, you would never know they were happily married. Yet, twenty years later, you could still catch them kissing in dark corners like two teenagers.

My mom stood and pressed a kiss to my head. "I'll go get you some more water, hun. Come on Sam."

My dad sighed but didn't naysay his wife. My phone began ringing as the pair left the room. Seeing the contact name, I brighten a bit as I answered the call.

"Hey, Canisha. Changmin and I will be in town soon." Aaron bright voice came from the speaker.

"No rush. You guys won't make it in time for the birth anyway," I told him as I rubbed my swollen stomach.

"Because of some idiot who didn't listen to me." I heard Changmin's grumble just barely through the phone.

"Would you stop complaining already? It's starting to get annoying," Aaron said to him.

"I wouldn't be annoying you if you had listened to me about shooting the music video last week, but no, you wanted us to put it off until this week."

I chuckled, fully amused at Changmin's expense. "I'm sure Aaron did not have complete control of the situation."

"He did! He was the one who requested we push back the date of filming."

As I opened my mouth to respond, another contraction came, taking my breath away. Remembering my classes, I tried to breathe through it. The pain seemed to be getting even more intense as time went on. I don't remember it hurting that bad when the girls had been with me at the hospital. They left a few hours ago with the promise to returned once they were done with either class or work.

"Are you okay, Canisha?" Aaron asked me as the contraction was finally passing.

"I'm fine," I assured him.

"Our flight is leaving in ten minutes, so we'll be there soon. Don't fret," Aaron told me.

I laughed then smiled. "No worries there. See you both soon. Have a safe flight."

By the time my parents returned to the room, the doctor was already aiding me in birthing the first baby. My mom immediately came to my side, holding my hand tight as I tried to follow the doctor's instructions without being distracted by the pain. My father was on my other side, rubbing my hair and kissing my forehead in assurance.

When the first baby was finally out, I was able to relax for a moment. I also thought about how much I never wanted to do this again. Too bad the second baby was trying to come out already. You would think the second time wouldn't be as bad as the first, especially with twins, but it was. Yet all my pain was forgotten as I held my daughters in my arms and I realized I would have suffered through worse just to hold them at that moment.

As I was changing Mila's diaper, my firstborn, on my hospital bed when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," I called out.

The door opened and I was present with the image of two jet-lagged males.

"Hey, Canisha." Aaron gave me a quick kiss on the temple and hug before moving to let Changmin do the same.

"You two look worse than me, and I gave birth." I giggled as I finished putting on Mila's new diaper and fixed her onesie. It was white with cow spots while her sister's was yellow with cheetah spots. I had changed their clothing almost immediately after the nurse returned them to me following their checkups.

After giving birth, I was moved from the birthing suite to a regular room on the same floor. The room I was currently in was much smaller than the first with the same beige walls and laminated flooring. Though it was still big enough had a couch and table with two chairs squeezed between the bed and the window without making the room feel cramped. I had the TV on, which was hanging on the wall across from the bed, but I had muted to volume. Next to the bathroom door was several cabinets I hadn't been bored enough to peek inside of but had seen a nurse pull out linens from one, so I assumed the rest of the cabinets had similar items.

"Can I hold her?" Changmin asked.

I eyed him intently. "You're not so tired you would drop her, right?" I teased.

Changmin looked offended as he said, "I can't believe you would ask me that."

Smiling, I held Mila out to him. "Just support her head, just like this." I moved his hand to the proper position before letting go completely.

Once she was in his arms, he looked down at Mila with such awe on his face, my heart helpless clenched.

"I didn't realize newborns were so small," Aaron commented as he stared tenderly down at Sumire, who was sleeping peacefully in her bassinet.

"You can hold her, if you like," I told him.

He glanced at me briefly. "I don't want to wake her up."

"You won't. Promise." A fact I learned when the girls practically came yelling into the room after the twins were born. Neither baby stirred one bit in the ruckus, something my mother told me was a godsend. "Just hold her like I showed Changmin."

Aaron carefully picked up the sleeping baby and held her to his chest. "Wow."

It made me really happy to see both men so enamored by my daughters. I didn't even wonder if they would feel the same once we found out who the father was. Both of them would continue to love my daughters regardless of that fact and knowing that made my heart feel a little lighter.

"You guys didn't have come here directly from the airport. You should come back after you rested up a bit," I told them.

It was currently eight in the morning and I knew their flight left around five the previous day. It was likely they sleep some on the plane, but having traveled on transatlantic flights myself, I knew it wasn't the most comfortable.

Changmin frowned. "How long are you supposed to be in the hospital for?"

"If I'm lucky, I'll be released by the afternoon tomorrow after all the testing is done on both the twins and me."

Changmin shook his head. "I prefer to stay."

Aaron didn't respond due to murmuring something I couldn't hear to the sleeping Sumire. Watching him, I said, "If either of you were to stay, I prefer Aaron."

That caused both of them to look at me with shocked expressions. "Really?" Aaron asked.

I nodded. Changmin didn't look very happy about my proclamation. Giving him a soft smile, I told him, "I need to talk to him. Alone."

He looked between me and Aaron before sighing. "Fine. I'll head home, but I'll be back in a few hours." He placed Mila in her bassinet before coming back to my side to give me another kiss on the head.

After he left the room, I got off the bed and moved to the sofa. Aaron placed Sumire down before sitting next to me.

"What time are your parents coming back?"

"They left around midnight so maybe eleven. I'm sure they'll eat breakfast before stopping by," I informed him.

He drummed his fingers on his thigh as he asked, "What did you wish to talk to me about?"

I felt just as nervous as he looked. However, I had made up mind after giving birth to my daughters. Initially, I never planned to make a decision like this, but I did.

"I love you. A lot."

Aaron's face relaxed as the words left my mouth. "I love you, too."

"I know." Even if he was calmer, I still was not. "Which is why I want your opinion on this. What I do depends on your choice." Before he could say anything, I continued. "I want to marry Changmin."

Aaron frowned, obviously confused. "Marry Changmin?"

I nodded. "After I gave birth, I realized that there's nothing guaranteed in life. I've never felt the way I have before with anyone but him. If I don't marry him, I think I'll regret it. A lot."

As I spoke Aaron's expression mellowed out. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Why are you putting this on me?"

I grasped his hand in both of my mine and waited until he met my gaze. "The last thing I want to do is hurt you. Even if the way I love you is different than the way I love Changmin, you are still a super important person to me. I know it's cowardly and selfish of me to do this to you, but if you're not okay with me marrying Changmin, I won't."

"I don't want to be the reason you regret not doing something you want to do, Canisha." He pulled his hand away and I felt the loss in my heart. "You should just do whatever you want to." Aaron stood and walk across the room, putting more distance between us.

"I can't, Aaron. Not without your support."

He cursed and looked back at me. Grief swam in his brown eyes and it pained me to know I caused it, but it I resolved myself that it could be worse if I didn't go about it like this.

"What if I decided I regretted giving you my support? What if I tell you I don't want you and Changmin to be together? Will you get a divorce then?"

I bit my lip and thought over his words. Once I gave myself to Changmin, would I be able to leave him at the snap of Aaron's fingers? Likely not. "If you gave your support, you wouldn't take it away, even if you regretted it because you're someone who stands by their word."

Once again, he cursed. "This isn't easy, Canisha."

Suddenly I was feeling like this was a mistake. I finally got up and moved back to his side. Wrapping my arms around his waist and laid my head against his chest. "I'm sorry. Forget I said anything."

His hand came to the back of my nape and maneuver my head until I was meeting his gaze. When he leaned down, I didn't move, allowing him to kiss me. I may have felt differently about Aaron, but he had once owned my body and it remembered his caress. Without hesitation, I gave my all to the kiss. The love and the care I felt for him. How much I needed him regardless of anything that happened. Because I knew this would be the last kiss I ever shared with him.

When he broke the kiss and I slowly opened my eyes to find him staring at me with such intensity that if my blood wasn't already rushing from our kiss it would be now.

"Okay."

I tilted my head in confusion. "Okay?"

He nodded. "Okay. I support you in whatever decision you make, including marrying Changmin." The sadness in his eyes was paired with resolution.

I cuddle against him once more, pressed so close I could hear the steady beat of his heart. He held me just as tightly without words because nothing else needed to be said at that moment.

My parents left town a couple of days after I gave birth. Initially, they were supposed to leave the day I went into labor but they decided to push back their tickets by a couple of days so they could spend a bit more time with me and their grandchildren. Overall their visit had gone well. After I gave birth, they stopped complaining about me having kids out of wedlock as they were too concerned with playing with their new grandbabies. I was actually sad to see them go when they finally did leave, though also had the first alone time I had since they came to visit in their absence. Well as much alone time as possible with two newborns.

Aaron went back to Korea the same day my parents left because he had to attend some kind of event for the drama, he recently finished filming. He had stopped by for a brief visit on his way to the airport, during which he played with the twins for a bit while chatting with my dad. The two of them had really hit it off, which was a nice surprise. My dad was never a big fan of any guy in my life, not even friends. However, even with his sourpuss mood about not knowing who the father of my children was, he still put up a kinder front with Aaron than I was used to.

I was in the living room breastfeeding Sumire while Mila kicked happily on her blanket at the carousel above her when the doorbell rang. Making sure I had a tight hold on the feeding baby, I went to the door and opened it. A smile spread across my lips immediately.

"Hey, Changmin."

He returned my smile as he crossed over the threshold. "Good morning. How are you feeling?"

"Pretty good considering I dropped eleven pounds only a few days ago." I stared down at half of that weight in my arms, which was looking curiously at the new arrival.

"Hi, Mila." He picked up Sumire's tiny hand and gave it a little shake.

"This is actually Sumire. Mila is playing in the living room."

Changmin smiled weakly. "Oh."

I giggled and headed back to the living room. "Don't worry. You'll get better at telling the two apart soon enough," I told him, hoping to brighten his spirits.

Mila had briefly stopped kick at her toy to look at Changmin. Seemingly enraptured, Changmin immediately went to her and picked her up into his arms. After several days of holding both twins, he looked like a natural. "Is it just me or does Mila seem to be lighter than she was when she was born?"

"They both are," I told him as I resettled myself on the couch. "It's natural for newborns to lose weight after birth but they should gain it back within the next several days. If not, then it will be considered a problem."

He responded to me as he tickled Mila's tummy, "I didn't read about that in the book I purchased. I wonder why it wasn't mentioned."

I looked at him with intrigue. "Book?"

Changmin glanced up at me and said, "I bought one of those baby books to see what you would have to go through while pregnant and after you gave birth."

Wow. I didn't even know what to immediately say to that. The fact that he cared so much about me and the babies I carried touched me deep in my heart, making the organ beat with an increasing rhythm.

After telling Aaron my intentions towards Changmin, I had yet to broach the subject with said man. That was more so because I was consistently surrounded by others in the last few days, but it was also somewhat due to my nervousness.

I didn't know how to bring up the topic. Should I wait until he mentions it again? Should I just propose myself? Well, I could be certain of one thing. Nothing would change if I kept second guessing myself.

I decided to just take the dive. "So, I was thinking, do you want to get married?"

The smile on his face dissolved until he became a blank slate. After moment or two, he focused on me with serious eyes as he said, "Don't joke about that, Canisha."

"I'm not." Before I could continue, Sumire began fussing in my arms. Righting my shirt, I leaned her over my shoulder and began tapping her back gently.

Changmin took a deep breath. "You said—

"I know what I said, but I changed my mind." Once I heard a small burp from Sumire, I resettled her in my arms. "I talked to Aaron about it already."

"You did?"

I nodded. "He said he would support us."

He placed Mila back down and her blanket then proceeded to take Sumire from me and place her next to her sister. Once both babies were settled, he moved closer to me until our bodies touched and held my gaze intently.

"You can't go back from this, Canisha. I'm never getting a divorce."

I chuckled. "If you were that bad to cause me to want to divorce you, I would. However, I hope to never get a divorce either."

He cupped my face in his hands and pressed a kiss to my lips before saying, "I love you."

I leaned forward and recaptured his lips in another brief kiss. "I love you, too."

He grinned and kissed me once more. Then again. And again. Until I was nearly out of breath. Yet, I didn't care because it was him and he was mine.

When he finally pulled away, he glanced down out the twins. "We should probably do the paternity test before the wedding."

I involuntarily flinched at his words. Though, thankfully it was subtle enough that he didn't notice it. "Will it change your mind?"

Changmin shook his head. "But I think it best we get it done as soon as possible. I can give you a sample of my DNA before I leave. We really only have to do one test."

"True, but I already did it," I informed him.

"When?" He shook his head again. "Never mind. What were the results?"

"When Aaron stayed behind at the hospital with me, we decided to just get the test out of the way," I answered his first question before moving on to the next. "I have bad news for you."

The hope that had sparked in his eyes began to fizzle out. Before he could comment I continued speaking.

"You are sadly a father of two messy babies," I told him with a broad smile.

The disappointment that had been taking over him melted away and he glared at me playfully. "You are such a devil, you know that." Despite his words, he pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly.
Chapter 5

Changmin had wanted to get married immediately, no surprise there. However, I convinced him to wait a few months, so we can sure everyone who was important could make it. I was also hoping to lose the baby weight before the wedding date, something Changmin expressed he didn't care about. Yet, once he realized I wasn't going to change my mind about marrying him overnight, he relaxed a bit more. He even decided he wanted to have a big wedding instead of a small one as he initially stated.

I honestly wasn't a fan of a big wedding. One, they cost more money than anyone needs to spend on a one-time event. Two, there weren't many people I would want to invite to my wedding. Lastly, they also say the more money you spend on a wedding, the less likely the marriage will last. While I wasn't the most superstitious, I didn't want to jinx Changmin's and my chances at happiness.

"We're only getting married once," he said, shrugging off my complaints. "And people who say these like that because they don't want to admit they were the ones that failed."

We were currently talking over skype through video chat. After he returned home to South Korea it was our usual form of contact because it meant I could see his face and he could see mine as well as the babies.

I rolled my eyes at his reasoning, but he continued to push his point for the next few minutes until I found myself giving in to his way of thinking. He was right about one thing. If this was the one time I would get married, why not make a spectacle about it. Still, I didn't wish to spend too much money on the wedding. All I need was something simple yet romantic and all those I cared about present.

To that proclamation, he responded, "Let's hold the ceremony in California then. All your friends are there, and your family won't have to fly to far compared to if we had the wedding in Korea," he said, nodding his head as more ideas came to mind. "Maybe we could do it on the beach."

"Hmm..." It was a bit cliché. Though, I did happen to like cliché, which meat I also liked the idea. "Okay."

Mila started fussing next to me on the bed and I rubbed her tummy in a soothing motion.

"Which of my little princesses is crying? Let me see her."

"It's Mila." I moved the phone so he could see the teary baby on his screen.

"Is mommy not giving you enough attention, sweetie? Should I teach her a lesson?"

I found myself rolling my eyes once more at his baby voice. I would never admit it, but I did find it super cute how he always softened his voice when speaking to the twins. If he ever found that out, he would use it against me like a weapon. It would be our prank wars all over again. The thought of that made me chuckle.

"Tell daddy he needs to come back quickly, so he can take care of you too." I leaned down and pressed a kiss to her hair.

"Just two more days." Changmin sighed. I knew he wished he was here with the twins and me, but he had spent the last month in Korea. While it sucked, it was necessary if he was to spend several months in the States with us. "What's Sumire doing?"

"Sleeping, as usual." I settle Mila firmly in my lap so I could lift the computer and angle the camera at the sleeping baby.

It had quickly become apparent that Sumire was the much more docile twin. All she really did was sleep and eat at this point. She would sometimes play with you, but she soon fell asleep. Mila, on the other hand, could not get enough of play time. She constantly resisted the urge to sleep just so she can keep your attention.

"I think it weird she sleeps so much."

"It's fine," I said, setting the computer down in front of me once more. "You only say that because you're not waking up every couple hours to feed these two."

Since the babies' arrival and with them an unstructured schedule, I had quit my job, but I still had to get my school work done. I tried to accomplish most assignments whenever both of them were asleep or if one of the girls had the moment to look after them for me. Luckily, I had five lovely friends, so it wasn't too often I found myself rushing to get an assignment done while taking care of the babies' need.

"Don't worry. I'll make sure you have that much-needed break once I get into town," Changmin promised, placing a hand over his heart for emphasis.

When he arrived finally arrive two days later, he did well to honor that promise he made. Changmin requested the twins and I move to the house he shared with his members once he came to town. Initially, I wanted to reject his request, but when I realized I didn't have a good reason to reject his request I changed my mind. The next few days we spent together were great. He took turns with me getting up in the night to feed the girls and then stayed with them for several hours while I did school work. Though my favorite times were when we spent time together as a family and those stolen moments where we would just shower each other with kisses. I knew it was too early to really say everything was going to work out, but I just knew this simply the beginning of our happily ever after. At least that's what I told myself most days.

The times I wasn't busy with school work, we spent planning the wedding. It was a lot more work than I realized and Changmin eventually decided it was best we hired a wedding planner, which I agreed to. That ended up being the right choice because once I returned to physical school I had much less free time. I also realized it would have a much harder task taking care of the girls by myself once I was in attending class on campus will a heavier credit load, which made me even more grateful for Changmin's help.

The first day of classes I had been reluctant to leave them behind but Changmin had practically kicked me out the door. It was clear he was annoyed with my carrying on, but his actions gave me enough amusement to get me through the day. By the third day, it wasn't as hard leaving them at home. It also helped that I trusted in Changmin's ability to care for the twins alone due to how well he had done in the last month.

The first weekend of October, Changmin's mother came for a visit. That was probably the most nerve-wracking weekend of my life. While she loved the twins almost instantly, her attitude seemed a bit lukewarm when it came to me. It wasn't until we were dropping her off at the airport that she had hugged me and told me how happy she was that I was marrying her son. It made me happy that

My parents hadn't come for another visit but remembered Changmin from their first interaction and had talked to him several times since over the phone whenever I called them. While my mother expressed how much she liked him almost as soon as I announced our upcoming nuptials, my dad had taken a bit longer to come around to it.

Despite having gotten Aaron's support before asking Changmin to marry me, I was still a little anxious about how it would affect our relationship. It didn't help that I felt a little guilty over his wedding present. I was still constantly debating if it was something I really wanted to keep. It was the biggest gift he ever gave me and sometimes it weighed on my soul. Still, I was super happy that Aaron still kept up regularly with me. We spoke on the phone at least once a week and often texted each other in between those phone calls.

Changmin and I set our wedding date for the second weekend in November. That way it wouldn't be too hot, and it had the added bonus of being a cheaper price, much to my pleasure. Though it wasn't until the week before that I realized just how big wedding ceremony had become. While I was busy with school work and taking care of the kids, Changmin had apparently upgraded everything. By everything, I meant literally everything. From the food to the guest list. The only thing that remained the same was the venue. I learned all this while looking over the seating chart for the reception.

"There are way more guests coming than I thought," I told him from my spot on the sofa.

I had the other paperwork from the wedding planner next to me on the couch beside my laptop and textbooks. After I finished my homework for the night, I decided to look over the information for the wedding since I had missed a couple of meetings Changmin had with the wedding planner. It seemed that missing the meetings had been a mistake on my part.

Changmin was on the floor playing with the twins, who were now 3 months. They were growing just fine despite being premature and hitting every milestone even earlier than I expected.

"The last number I counted was two hundred," he said with a shrug while shaking the baby keys in front Sumire's face, causing her to chuckle happily.

"Two hundred!" I didn't even know half that number of people. My personal invites included exactly thirty. "Who the heck did you invite?"

Changmin finally spared me a glance. "I know a lot of people due to my line of work."

"Yeah, I get that, but you're not close with all those people," I retorted.

He shrugged again and returned his attention to the girls. "I like the idea that a lot of people will witness you becoming mine, both spiritually and legally."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "I know it's your money, but I feel like you've wasted so much." I was still trying to grasp how so many things had changed in only two weeks. I had to give Changmin credit for being efficient...and sneaky. "Why did you order an ice sculpture of a dove?"

"I thought it would look nice."

Of course, he did. I shook my head.

"Remember, you have your last fitting tomorrow for your dress," Changmin said as he lifted Mila into the air.

"I know." I sighed.

It wasn't that I didn't like my dress. I just hated standing in place for what felt like forever while the seamstress pinned here and there. That was kind of my fault. When I picked out my dress and started my fitting, I was still losing weight from my pregnancy. It meant the dress was taken in almost every week both to the seamstress annoyance and my own. I had stopped trying to lose weight after the third fitting just to avoid the constant work being done. However, it seemed my body didn't care about my opinion and I still steadily lost weight until I finally returned to my original size last week.

"Aaron's coming into town tomorrow too. Are you picking him up?" I asked.

"Yeah. We should be back at the house by noon. I'll take the girls with me too. That way you don't have to worry them while you're trying to get your own errand done," he said, turning to grace me with a smile.

I smiled back. "Thanks." Putting the papers aside and slid onto the floor, I laid down next to Sumire and joined in on the fun.

When I entered the house late the next day after school, I was immediately grasped up into a hug. I gasped for breath and looked up at the giant holding me.

"Aaron," I said his name with a smile and returned his embrace.

He placed me back on my feet after a moment with an equally bright smile on his face. "How's the bride to be?"

I shrugged. "Okay. Changmin has driven me a crazy but that's nothing new."

"Stop talking negatively about your husband to other men!"

I peered around Aaron at Changmin, who was making a bottle in the kitchen. "You're not my husband yet." I blew his mock glare a kiss before turning back to Aaron. "How was your flight?"

"It was good. First class is the way to travel continental. I'm pretty sure I was asleep the whole fourteen hours."

Babbling had me moving deeper into the living room, where Sumire was smiling happily at me while her sister was more concerned with the toy in her hands. I scooped up my youngest and kissed her on the temple. "Did you miss mommy?"

She giggled happily and tried to stick her finger in my mouth. I playfully bit her finger and sank onto the sofa with her in my lap. Aaron sat next to me and pulled gently on one of her loose curls.

"These two are just too pretty for their own good," Aaron commented.

"What else would you expect of children created by me and Canisha," Changmin said as he joined us with two bottles in hand. He passed one to me before scooping Mila from the floor and settling her in his lap.

"Little monsters."

Changmin shot him a glare while I chuckled. "Changmin does seem like a demon, doesn't he?"

Aaron grinned. "You said it. Not me."

"I would appreciate if you two did insult me in front of my children." He turned his narrowed gaze on me. "And aren't you supposed to be on my side now?"

"Just because I'm marrying you does not mean I have to constantly be your savior." I blew him another kiss.

Changmin frowned and looked down at Mila. "Your mommy is so mean. Be prepared."

I jabbed him with my elbow. "Don't tell my daughter such things."

"See how she abuses me."

I rolled my eyes.

The three of us shared more small talk while the babies eat. Once they were done and burp, Changmin took them both upstairs to put them down. Usually, they didn't wake up again until after 2AM to feed once more before sleeping until 7AM.

"In one week, you'll become Mrs. Changmin Shim," Aaron said after Changmin disappeared up the stairs. "How do you feel?"

I grinned. "Now who said I'll be taking his name?" It was one of many discussion Changmin and I had when planning the wedding. It wasn't common in South Korea for the woman to take her husband's name, but Changmin apparently liked that about America culture and had complained a bit about me not taking his name. Though, it wasn't really a big issue.

Aaron chuckled. "I can't imagine he's happy about that. It was something he was happy about happening when he told me about your proposal."

"He actually doesn't have a problem with my choice," I stated. I sighed and rested back against the couch. "I'm excited to be marrying him, but I'm also nervous." Despite always assuring myself that Changmin and I had started our happily ever after sometimes I worried that it wouldn't last. Something would blow up in our faces like it did last time.

Of course, I hadn't told Changmin about these thoughts. He would just get nervous himself and probably turn into a dictator in order to stop my negative musing, which would only serve to make things worse.

"Everything will be fine." Aaron wrapped an arm around my shoulders and dragged me into his side. "You chose him for a reason. As long as you just keep remembering that reason your relationship will never falter no matter what struggles you two have in the future."

I laid my head against his shoulder, finding comfort. "I'm glad you came to town early. It always good talking to you face to face."

My family and Changmin's mother would be arriving in two days and the rest of the guests would be sprinkling in throughout the week up until the day of the wedding.

"Luckily, I have money to splurge on plane tickets." He gave me a tight squeeze before removing his arm from my shoulders and putting some distance between us.

It was just in time because Changmin came thumping down the steps. While he knew there was nothing more between me and Aaron now but a friendship, I knew he still felt uncertain about our relationship sometimes, especially because I talked to Aaron constantly. He never said anything, but you only had to take one look at his straight face to tell he wasn't the happiest about it. So, there was no telling how he would react seeing us embracing in his absence. Blowing it all out of portion was a good guess.

Aaron stood and stretched. "I think I'll head to bed. I'm tired from my long flight and barely took a nap during it."

I nodded and watched him walk upstairs while Changmin sat at my side. He pulled me into his lap and nuzzled my neck, nipping gently at my collar bone. "We should go to bed early too."

Since giving birth to the twins, sex had yet to return to our relationship. After my doctor gave to okay, we still didn't sleep together, though it wasn't because of any specific reason. I guess we were just caught up in everything going around us to think about getting dirty between the sheets. At least I was. Though our kisses had slowly grown more heated as our wedding date drew nearer and nearer. A week ago, I thought we were finally going to do it, but Changmin had stopped. When I asked why, he said since we had waited so long, there was no harm to continue waiting until our wedding night. Yet, that didn't stop him from revving my engines whenever he wanted.

I smiled and took his face in my hands so I could give him a kiss square on the lips before saying, "I have homework to do."

He sighed dramatically and gave me another kiss. This time deeper so I could taste him on my tongue. My arousal was quickly awakening under his caress, so it took some mental effort to break it off.

"Homework, Changmin."

"I heard you the first time, Canisha." He gave me one more kiss before moving me off his lap. "Get your homework done and I'll start making us some food."

"Thank you."

Yeah, I had my doubts, but I decided to take Aaron's advice and just think better thoughts.

The rest of the week passed by in a whirlwind. With school, my family and the wedding to deal with, I was busy non-stop and practically collapsed in my bed every night thoroughly exhausted. The wedding rehearsal was my first time to relax in what felt like forever. The twins were being passed around without fuss, giving me the freedom to chat with my friends, whom I haven't spent real time with since moving in with Changmin. It was also a great time to relax my nerves about the many strangers that would be at my wedding. I met a lot of people I was unfamiliar with, as well as many people I had seen on through my phone and computer screens over the years. I think what shocked me most of all was that the people at the rehearsal dinner didn't even halve the number of people that would be at the ceremony tomorrow. The dinner took place at the hotel we were all staying at which was a few blocks from the wedding venue. It was also the location of our reception after the wedding ceremony.

After the event was over, Changmin and I headed up to our room after seeing everyone off. My parents had taken the twins back to their own room, giving Changmin and I some alone time. As soon as I arrived in our room, I dropped into the large bed with relief.

A large body plopped down next to me and an arm fell across my back. "Tired?"

I turned my head, so I could look at Changmin and nodded. I didn't even want to get up and take my dress off. Though I knew I would eventually have to if only because I would get annoyed with it confining my movements while I tried to find a comfortable position to sleep in.

He smiled and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to my forehead. "In less than twelve hours you'll be my wife."

"I know."

Just the thought of it was comforting enough. I felt like it was a big hurdle to overcome and once we passed it, I would be less worried about what may or may not happen. I guess that just showed how much I loved the man lying next to me.

Changmin rolled me so that I was cuddled against him, my back to his front. "Thank you."

"Well, it wasn't a hard feat," I stated. "I mean, you're rich, good-looking, and kind...ish."

"Ish?" Just as suspected, Changmin was not a fan of my wording. "You had to put an ish? I could forgive that fact that you are marrying me for my money and handsome face but I'm only kind-ish to you. In my opinion, I am the kindest human on this planet. No, the whole universe."

I couldn't help myself. I burst into giggles at his reaction because it was all too amusing. Changmin wasn't often adorable, but when he was, it was too cute.

Changmin rolled me once more so I was on my back. "You think this is funny."

I tried to speak but I couldn't around the endless laughter, so I just nodded.

He gave me a playful glare followed by a wicked grin. "I'll give you something to laugh about." Then he proceeded to tickle me without mercy.

"No!" I tried to squirm away from him, but he was being ruthless, the butthole.

You see, when I get tickled, I react. Like, my limbs lose coherent function and go crazy as I try not to die from laughing. Thus, my legs kicked out in spasms as my arms slung at him. Yet, he managed to avoid and flailing limbs and still tickle me.

"Stop. Stop. Please!" I gasped out between laughs.

Luckily, he did. Removing his hands from my person, he sat back with a wide grin on his face. So, I kicked him off the bed.

Once again, I was laughing as he stood up with an irritated look. "I'm letting you get away with that since you'll legally be my property soon."

I stopped laughing and gasped. "Your property? Well if that's how you see it, maybe I won't marry you after all." I slid off the bed. "I just pack up my things and—woah."

Without warning, I found myself tossed back onto the bed and Changmin hovering me. "I'm never letting you go, missy."

"Good."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. It was gentle at first. A soft brush of the lips. Once. Twice. My tongue flickered out and tasted the seam of his lips. In response, a soft nip at the bottom lip. Followed by a soothing suckle.

It was so easy to get caught up in Changmin's kisses. They were a whole world of their own, involving both giving and taking. And, of course, making the pitter patter of my heart increase by a few tempos.

When his tongue touched my lips again, I opened for him. He tasted like the cake we had at the wedding rehearsal. Lemony with a hint of cranberry. Most importantly, he tasted like him. A flavor I could never put into words and something I always enjoyed.

As his tongue tangled with mine, I started working at the buttons on his shirt. He broke our kiss for a brief moment to shed both his jacket and shirt, tossing them somewhere over the bed. I took in his form for that brief second. No matter how many times I've seen without a shirt, and it was definitely several hundred, I was still so enraptured by the sight of his broad, muscular chest and rippling abs. I still struggled at times trying to figure out why someone so good looking would want to be with someone plain like me.

Until he would say something like now. "I love you." Afterward, continuing to kiss me senseless.

This time the kiss was fiercer. His need and mine crushed together as our tongues danced. I tilted my head to give him better access and was rewarded with an even deeper kiss. My blood was racing as my breath was leaving my body and all I wanted was him.

Tearing my lips from his, I started working on the clasp of his belt. "I need you so much." It had been too long. We were getting married tomorrow. I didn't think it truly mattered if we waited another day because lord knows as soon as the priest announced us husband and wife, I would be dragging him to the closest secluded corner to consummate our marriage.

He seemed to agree with my sentiment and helped me in my efforts to rid him of his pants. This time, I didn't have the chance to admire his form as he flipped me over to unzip my dress. I pushed up to my hands and helped him as he pealed the tight black piece off my curves and down my legs until it was out of sight as well.

"When I first saw you in that dress, all I could about was touching you. Like this." His words were a hot whisper against my ear as his fingers glided up my outer thigh and over my hip bone with a touch so gentle it felt ghost-like.

I shivered with anticipation of what was to come. Closing my eyes as he continued to glide those fingers up my body, I simply just felt. They caressed my waist and each rib bone until his hand covered one breast, and he gave it a gentle squeeze. The sensation had me gasping. I might never be a fan of breasts play but I will always be a fan of Changmin play, I thought as he pressed a kiss behind my ear.

Unable to bear any more, I turned over under the cage of his body and pulled him down on top of me. The feel of his body fitting against mine felt so right. I kissed his lips again. Then his nose. His cheeks. His jaw. Anywhere I could reach while running my hands up the hot planes of his back.

Arching up against him, I rubbed against his hardened cock with the most intimate flesh of my body. It felt so good, I thought I might explode from the simple action. God, but it had been too long since this had happened.

"Damn, Canisha." He groaned, holding down my hips with his hand. "You're not on birth control anymore, right?"

"Mmm-hmm," I murmured as I licked at his lips.

He kissed me hard and fast before saying, "We should use a condom, shouldn't we?"

"I don't care." I should. I knew I should have. Yet, I didn't. I wanted him so much that I didn't care if got pregnant. Having another baby—no, having his baby again would make me happy.

After the thought crossed my mind, I realized I actually meant it. Not simply a thrown-up thought in a haze of lust, but an idea that truly pleased me. I know I still had another two semesters of schooling to complete and another pregnancy could possibly set me even further back if I wasn't smart about it, but I... I just wanted it. I wanted him.

I looked up at him with my heart in my eyes. "Make love to me."

In response to that, he kissed me again. Not the same hard kiss as before, but one that was more passionate and emotionally invoking. Then he pushed inside of me. Slow and with purpose. I felt every inch, ridge, and vein as he invaded my body. All I wanted was more.

Yet, he kept his pace slow and even. Though it was probably only a few seconds, it felt like ten years had passed before his hips were against mine. His eyes held mine and all I saw was obsidian ocean as he withdrew from me just as slow as he entered.

Usually, with Changmin and I, sex was hard and fast. Not that I didn't like hard and fast, because I did. A lot. Yet, this time he was going slow and I found I liked it too. I was so entuned to the motion between our bodies and the sensation he created with every slow thrust. It was nothing I had ever experience before.

"You're my everything." He breathed out those words as he pressed deep inside me. "Just you. Only you."

I felt tears stinging in my eyes. Who knew that a stupid email sent on a dare would have resulted in something like this? "I love you so much."

His fingers found my clit and I gasped. He took my mouth in a deep kiss as he thrust into me. My hands clutched at his arms as I arched up to meet his next assault. And the next. And the next. Until we were moving towards that end goal together. My heart kicked up its speed until I was certain it would burst from my chest.

Passion. Lust. Love.

Everything overflowed in my heart to the point that it made the cumulation even greater when it finally hit. And when we laid side by side in the aftermath, I looked him in the eyes and said, "I will forever cherish this night."

He pulled me closer until I was snuggled against his chest before saying into my hair, "Me too."

"Wow."

"If Changmin wasn't marrying you today, I would."

"Ditto."

I rolled my eyes and turned to look at my friends, who unsurprisingly were also my bridesmaids. They each wore a blue gown but in a style that suited them best as I wanted my best friends to feel gorgeous on my special day as well. Besides the color of the dress, the only thing that was similar about their outfits was their hairstyle, a decision they made. It was a tight bun with a couple tendrils of curls framing their faces. The maid of honor, my younger sister, also had a similar hairstyle but wore a purple dress instead of blue. Aaron would also be wearing a purple silk tie to match my sister's dress while Changmin's other friends wore ties that matched the dresses of the bridesmaids.

"Thanks, guys."

The last three hours were spent doing my hair and make before finally putting on my dress and the seamstress putting whatever finishing touches she needed to. While I was happy to be marrying Changmin, I was so over all the extraness that came with a wedding. I almost wished that we had just got married at city hall.

Though, as I took one more look in the mirror, I realized I had never felt prettier before. The stylist had brought out the appearance of my natural curls before pilling my hair on top of my head into an overflowing bun, leaving out just a few coils here and there to make the style seem effortless, despite it taking almost two hours. My makeup was also done in a way that made it seem unnoticeable while making me look ten times prettier. To make the package that much better, my white dress was layers of sheer white fabric with a bodice that made my waist look two times smaller and my boobs perkier, with embroidered white flowers.

I loved the dress as soon as I saw it. And I loved it even more when I saw the price was under my range. Though it had been several sizes too big, which was why I needed so many fittings just to get the dress to fit me properly. So, while I had been mostly disgruntled about all the appointments, I was thankful to Sam for making my dream dress work.

"The wedding's about to start soon. We should get to the venue," My sister said after checking her phone. "Who has Mila and Sumire?"

"Last I saw Changmin's mom had Sumire while Mila was with your brother," Becca stated.

"Make sure mom and dad get them. They're the ones who are supposed to be driving them to the wedding for me," I told my sister.

"Will do."

There was a knock on the door and Kira shouted for the person to come in. A smile spread across my lips as I saw the intruder was my soon-to-be husband looking dashing in his black tux.

"Hey, it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding," Darian said.

"Well, I'm the bride's ride so I hope that doesn't cause a problem." Changmin grinned. "Speaking of my bride, where is..." His words trailed off as his eyes found me. I watched as his dark gaze roamed over my person for several heartbeats. He walked up to me, ignoring all the other occupants of the room. "You're too beautiful."

I grinned. "Speak for yourself, handsome."

He shook his head. "I don't think I want to let you out of the room looking like this. You should be a sight only for my eyes."

"Cheesy." Someone coughed.

I glared over his shoulder at my friends. "Shouldn't you guys be heading out to the beach?"

They all murmured some sort of agreement and filed out of the hotel room. Once they were gone, Changmin wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me in for a kiss. I welcomed it but didn't let it go on long.

"We have to go as well."

"That's actually the reason I came up here. The limo is ready." He sighed. "Though, part of me is torn to just lock the door and have my way with you. If not for my deep desire to make you my wife, I would not be hesitating."

I giggled. "You're a loser." Giving him a quick peck, I said, "But I still love you."

We made our way down to the hotel lobby, where I saw most of our guests departing as well. The limo Changmin ordered for us was waiting at the curb. It was a classic sedan instead of one of those stretch limos, and classically black. The driver held the door opened for us and Changmin helped me in before following after me.

As we pulled away from the hotel, I could feel the butterflies going crazy in my stomach. "Gosh, I can't believe this is finally happening."

He picked up my hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. "I do. I knew I was going to marry you after you reacted to my first prank with retaliation instead of anger."

I chuckled as I thought back on our prank war. "That I highly doubt. Otherwise, you would have been trying to do more to me than just spray me with a water gun every time I came by your house."

"I did. If I recall correctly, I handcuffed you to my bed," he stated.

"True, but then you invite Aaron to help ravage me." I reminded him.

"Big mistake on my part. I should have just kept you to myself." He chuckled and pressed another kiss to my fingers.

I bit my lip and asked him. "Do you regret it?"

"Sharing you with Aaron?"

I nodded.

He took a moment to think before responding, "No, because if it never happened, I probably would have never been able to open up to you like I did, and despite some issues it caused with me and Aaron, I think it made our friendship stronger in some aspects. I think everything happened as it should have for this day to come. Now I'll be able to stay by you forever."

I smiled and cuddled against him. "I love you," I said once more, and I would continue to say it every day after we got married.

"I—

The rest of his words were drowned out by the blare of a horn. The car suddenly jerked and then Changmin was pushing me down. The last thing I saw was his worried gaze before my whole world went black.

Chapter 6

I tried to open my eyes but immediately closed them against the sharp glare of light. Being more careful, I opened my eyes slowly, allowing the light to enter my pupils bit by bit until they finally adjusted to the brightness. All I saw was stark white at first. Then my eyes shifted downward, taking in my surroundings. I was in a hospital room I realized almost instantly. On my right were two doors, a small table with one chair. On my left was my mother, sleeping in another chair while leaning her head on my bed. I tried talking but found I could not due to a tube, which was lodged down my throat.

What in the world had happened to me?

I tried to move but found I could only jerk my hand a bit. Thankfully, the motion was enough to startle my mom awake.

"Canisha!"

I tried to say something around the tube, but it only came out as a gargle.

"Hold on honey. I'll be right back," she said before rushing out of the room.

A couple of minutes later, my mom returned with the doctor and a couple of nurses. They ran some quick test on me to ensure my wakefulness before finally removing the feeding tube, a process which caused me to puke.

"Well, Miss Tiburcio, you are one lucky woman. We were not sure if you would be able to pull yourself out of that coma," the doctor told me.

Coma? I was in a coma? For how long? I tried to think about what I had done to put myself in such a state. Had I been in an accident with my friends? Were any of them hurt?

"Ma..." To my surprise, the word came out as more of a slur and it seemed my tongue was in my way of getting the word out properly.

My mom gave me a soothing smile that eased a bit of my panic. "I'm right here honey. Your dad is on his way and will be here soon as well."

"Wa...wa..." My frustration increased as I tried to get the word out of my mouth which felt drier than a desert.

A nurse walking into the room then and handed the doctor a sponge, which he then held to my lips. "I know you might want a cup of water, but let's start with this."

I definitely preferred a cup of water over a wet sponge. Sadly, I wasn't really in the state to argue, so I sucked on the sponge. It didn't slake my thirst, but my mouth didn't feel as dry anymore.

"Better?" The doctor asked.

I nodded. "Thank you."

It was a relief I could still talk. Now I just wondered how long it would be before I was able to control my limbs once more. As I thought about, I found I was able to lift my right arm up. It felt surprisingly heavy, but it comforted me that I wasn't paralyzed.

"What's the last thing you remember, Miss Tirburcio?"

The last thing... It was much easier to recall my last memory than I expected. The girls were making me write some stupid letter to EV3R as a prank and we went to have cake and ice cream. Some stupid jokes were shared. Darian accidentally threw a piece of cake at Carelyn's face. That thought had me smiling. Reese had said something about watching a movie. Then... Then... Blank. I couldn't remember what happened after that. I want to say we probably drove somewhere together, but I couldn't be sure. I told the doctor this and then asked about my friends.

"Are they okay?"

"The girls are fine." My mom assured me. She looked at the doctor questionably before asking me. "You don't remember anything else."

I shook my head, a motion that made me slightly nauseous. Was there something I needed to remember? As long as my friends were fine, I didn't care. They were literally the all I cared about. Well, except for my family. And school, I guess. Some days.

"Can I have a word with you Mrs. Tirburcio?"

My mom nodded and went off to speak with the doctor outside my room. I was curious as to what they were discussing, but they came back after only a minute or so.

"We'll keep you here at the hospital for a couple more days. If there are no unforeseen problems, we'll have you transfer to rehab, where you'll recoup until you're completely healthy." The doctor told me.

I nodded.

"Thank you, Dr. Stevens," my mom said.

"Canisha!"

A bit startled by the soon call of my name, I looked at the doorway of my room and was surprised to see—Aaron from EV3R! What in the world. And how did he know my name?

He approached me with a face of concern and anxiousness and pulled me into a tight hug. "Thank god you're awake."

"Um..." I know this wasn't the time to be fangirling, but it was Aaron from EV3R. Who wouldn't be doing an internal fangirl dance of elation? Still, it was weird that he was here. Did they actually receive my fan e-mail?

Oh gosh. They really read it! What if I had put that stupid thing about Aaron taking my virginity in it. Just recalling what Becca had originally written was making me feel embarrassed.

"Where are the twins?"

Aaron let go of me as he answered my mom. "Louis is bringing them. I left them by the elevator so they should be here at any moment. I know I shouldn't have left them behind, but I was..."

"I know, sweetie."

I blinked in surprise. Okay, not only did Aaron apparently know my mom and dad, but my mom also called him sweetie? My mom only called people she was extremely comfortable with pet-names. Like it took years before she called my friends by anything but their full first name.

"Canisha."

This time when I looked at the door, it was my dad pushing a stroller into the room. He stopped the stroller by the end of the bed before coming to me and giving me a tight hug. "Thank the lord you have finally opened your eyes."

I smiled and tried to return my dad's hug back he pulled away before I managed to raise my arms up. I wondered how long it would take for me to build my strength back up. I know I was in a coma, but how long have I been lying in bed to get this weak. What day was it exactly?

A small cry snagged my attention and I looked down at the foot of my bed where my mom and Aaron were holding a baby each. They were pretty cute. I looked between my parents, a bit surprised they had another set this late in age. I thought they had called it a quits after my brother was born about three years after me.

One of the sweet angels looked at me then smiled wide. She reached out her arms and said, "Mama."

My eyes widened.

Her sister looked at me as well and repeated the word. "Mama."

"Why are they looking at me while saying that?" I questioned glancing between my parents.

Aaron stepped up beside me and the baby in his arms struggled until he finally placed her in my lap. That didn't seem to please her sister as she was now struggling in my mom's arms. "Did you forget that you're a mom, Canisha?"

Was I still in a coma? I had to be. Regardless of how realistic this dream felt, that's what it was, a dream. There's nothing else that could explain the situation that was occurring right now.

"I'm a mom? But... No, that can't be true."

I hadn't even had sex yet. Not that I didn't want to have sex. I thought I would have done the deed with Lorenzo, but he turned out to be a jackass. Since then I hadn't had a boyfriend or even dated someone.

"He's right, honey." My mom said. "These are your daughters. Mila and Sumire."

I had not one daughter but two and I didn't even remember the night they were conceived. What kind of foolishness. "Next you're going to be telling me Aaron of EV3R is the father of my babies."

Neither of my parents said anything.

"I am."

I glanced at him in surprise. This was the most surreal and scariest moment of my life. Yet, I was extremely annoyed that I couldn't even remember this man naked to save my life. The universe seriously sucked.

"Beyond the major concussion and brain swelling, all of which have healed, there are no problems with your brain, Miss Canisha." Dr. Walls, my newly appointed psychiatrist, told my mother and me.

"So how long until my daughter regains her memories?" My mom asked.

After a brief discussion, I found out that I was no longer 21 but, in fact, 23. That was two years of my life completely gone. Though, what didn't make sense to me was how I lost so many memories when my accident occurred only nine months ago. Due to the time I spent lying in a bed, I also lost a lot of weight as well as my strength. I got tired very easily and suddenly, but the doctor said that would get better after therapy. My parents had apparently stayed with me the whole time. I overheard my father mention something about Aaron helping them out to make that possible. Though I didn't know what Aaron was to me. Husband? Boyfriend? Baby daddy at the very least, something my parent noticeable neither denied nor confirmed.

"Honestly, there is no answer for that. It could happen in a couple hours, a week or two, several years down the road or never. No two patients are the same when it comes to memory loss. However, I do recommend reminding Canisha of what she experienced during the time she doesn't remember as it could help trigger some memories. Though I advise not to force it, Miss Canisha. Be patient and let your memories come to you."

"Okay." I nodded.

"I'll get the nurse to help you back to your room."

Back in my room, both Aaron and my father waited for me, along with my daughters, something I still had trouble wrapping my head around. I couldn't believe I was a mom. And before finishing college. What was I thinking?

I looked at Aaron. Probably that he was too hot for me to care. But seriously. If becoming a mother without warning wasn't bad enough, being in a coma set my graduation date way back. Yet I still didn't know what kind of accident I had been in. My parents and Aaron had avoided my question on that subject matter, saying something about waiting until I regained some strength, but that only served to annoy me.

"Your friends will be coming to see you tomorrow," Aaron told me. "They wanted to come today, but the doctor said it was best to keep your visitors to a minimum since you just woke. However, if you want to talk to them, I can call them for you."

"Maybe a little later," I said. Honestly, I was already tired from going to see the doctor and I had been in a wheelchair. How pathetic was that? Though after waking up last night, it had been just constant tests and checks and this and that.

"Mama."

I looked at Mila, who was sitting in my dad's lap, having just finished what looked to be some fruits and oatmeal.

"Mommy's tired." My dad told her.

"It's okay, dad. You can give her to me." Though it still felt weird to me that I was a mother, upon hearing the news I felt an instant connection to my twins. In between those tests and checks I suffered through overnight, I thought about them and how much time I had missed with them while sleeping. I was a bit thankful it was something they wouldn't remember once they were older.

My dad placed Mila in my lap and she instantly laid against my chest, closing her eyes. It was a bit surprising given that my parents had told me she was a very hyper child. Sumire was napping peacefully in Aaron's arms as well. I was beginning to think being an instant mom wasn't such a bad thing after all.

Placing my hands gently on Mila's back, I leaned back and allowed myself to get some rest as well.

I was sharing my breakfast with Mila and Sumire, both of which appeared to be very greedy I thought amusingly when my friends burst into my room. Though it happened only a couple days before, I was still be startled by my name being called and the sudden noise followed a hug that involved all my friends, which led to my daughters fussing to be set free.

I laughed. "You all are still a riot, I see."

"You know it," Carelyn said after they finally gave me and my poor babies room to breathe.

"My parents tell me that you all have been helping with the twins since I ended up in the hospital."

"Of course." Darian smiled. "We love our nieces, who are just cute enough to eat." The tone of her voice increased towards the end of her sentence as she leaned down to give Sumire a kiss.

"Icky," Sumire said, wiping her cheek.

"Icky is right." I teased causing Darian to pout.

"You figured a knock to your head would make you nicer," she said.

"Nah. Us evil people shall remain as such for the rest of our lives," I stated.

"You have that right, my friend." Becca agreed.

I looked past my friends at the man standing by the door with an armful of flowers, stuff animals and chocolate.

"Who's that?"

"My husband. We've been married for six months now." Becca said without missing a beat.

I was completely floored. "Husband?" It was times like these I wished I had my memories back. I couldn't believe Becca was married. I mean, I could because she's a great person, but really? Though, it wasn't as surprising as finding out I had kids with a global superstar.

Also, it was apparent that someone had informed my friends of my memory loss because none of them were surprised I didn't know who Becca's husband was.

The rest of the morning was spent with me catching up with my friends. Though happy, I was tired by lunchtime and didn't stop Aaron when he convinced them to leave for the day. He also sent my parents home as well to get some rest. Since I'd woken up, the pair hardly left my side, so it was good for them the get some much-needed sleep. Mila and Sumire were already sleeping on the sofa in the room, having passed out 30 minutes ago after playing and chatting with the girls all morning. So, it was just Aaron and me left.

Though I was tired, I forced myself to stay awake because it was the first alone time I had gotten with the man, who was a complete mystery to me besides what I knew about him as a fan.

"I wanted to know if you would answer some of my questions."

He looked at me then the twins before nodding. "Sure."

"So, how did we meet exactly?"

Aaron chuckled for a moment then smiled. "That was actually because of you. You sent a fan mail to the group asking for a movie night and Changmin and I decided to follow through."

"Really?" Now that surprised me. Not only had they read that stupid prank email, but they also accepted the request. "Why?"

"Well, we were already going to be in town, so it was something to do. Also, since the two of us were big fans of anime, we happened to follow your blog and were interested in meeting you as well, believe it or not. I recognized your email address because I had contacted you before."

I definitely didn't believe it.

Aaron sat down next to me on the bed and picked up my hand. "We became friends almost instantly and, within a few months, we were more than friends. Thus, our two lovely babies." He nodded at the sleeping toddlers.

Wow. I had been living a dream come true and I couldn't even remember it.

"So, then we are..."

"To be married." Aaron finished. "If not for your coma, we would have already been married, but once you're better we'll see it through." He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "Don't worry Canisha. No matter what, I'll stay by you forever."

I don't know why but my vision started blurring. Then I was crying. First softly then harder. I didn't even know why I was crying. Aaron simply wrapped his arms around him and held me close. Though I still had my family, my friend, Aaron and my daughters, I suddenly felt like something was missing, but for the life of me, I didn't know what. That only served to make me cry even more.

Chapter 7

True to his word, Aaron stayed beside me every step of the way through my recovery. My stint in rehab went well as I was improving faster than doctors expected. After I was finally released with orders to attend therapy 3 times a week, I convinced my parents to return home. While I was completely thankful for the year they spent caring for me, they had lives of their own to live and I didn't want to get in the way of it any longer. Though they made mention of moving to California after getting their affairs in order and I hadn't been able to convince them against it at the moment. Not that I wouldn't love my parents being nearby. I just didn't know if I would be settling down in California. The state was expensive.

Since my friends all graduated, they couldn't visit often due to their jobs or graduate school, but the small amount of time I had with them here and there was nice. They also had all moved out our shared house and now either lived with a significant other or, in Darian's and Kira's case, together in smaller homes or apartments. The fact that they're lives had moved on while I was in a coma was a little depressing, but also gave me encouragement to work harder to get out of rehab sooner. That encouragement seemed to work because I was released two months earlier than expected.

I was playing with the twins on the floor in living when Aaron walked into the house. During my three months in rehab, I had regained my ability to walk and control my movements, but I was still a bit tired after too much activity, so Aaron rarely left me alone except to run short errands that would be too much of a hassle to take the whole family along. During those times, I stayed home and took care of the girls.

As I had been improving, they had as well. Now they were able to speak several more words and run without falling. At least most times. Of course, I was also used to the idea of being their mother so every achievement they made filled me with pride.

Though, I had yet to regain any of those memories I lost. Not even a smidgen came back to me. However, it didn't feel like such a big deal because I had so much love surrounding me and was determined to get back on track of my goals. It was only a year or so lost. So, what if I never remembered it? It's not like it would faze me. Despite my thoughts, my heart ached a bit and I rubbed my chest to soothe the sensation.

"Okay. Bye." He said before ending his call.

"Who was that?" I asked looking up at him.

Since he had apparently spent my whole time in a coma here in California, he hadn't worked much. He still wasn't working but was talking with his manager about some projects to start working on in the new year once I was able to function easily on my own.

He hesitated a moment before saying. "Changmin's mom."

So far, Kai, Yoochun, and Junghyun had all visited me, each expressing well-wishes and making it clear we had formed some kind of relationship during the time I had forgotten. The only one I had yet to see was Changmin. I asked about him sometimes, but Aaron was a bit vague with his answer. Though his vagueness didn't bother me overly much, I did wonder about Changmin from time to time and why I didn't form a friendship with him as I did with Aaron's other bandmates.

"What did you talk about, if you don't mind me asking?"

"You. The girls. She was hoping to come visit and see you guys. I advised her to wait until next year when you're a bit better."

That was surprising. Aaron had yet to turn away any other visitor I had. Why Changmin's mother? Though I had to admit, it was a little odd that she wanted to visit despite having little connection to me.

"I'll get dinner started. Do you have any preferences?"

"No," I said.

"Dada, up." Mila reached for him.

Anytime cooking was mention, Mila wanted to join in. Aaron was too much of a sweetheart to deny our daughter, so he picked her up can carry her into the kitchen with him. Sumire was less interested in cooking and much more concerned with Elmo and her tablet, which Aaron bought for her birthday. He also gifted Mila with one as well, but she wasn't as stuck to the screen as her sister.

While those two ventured into the kitchen together, I went back to watching Sumire's favorite show with her.

Against his wishes, I helped Aaron clean up after dinner. He babied me as much as he did the twins, but I reminded him that the doctor said it was good for me to move around now that my strength was returning. To that, he could offer no objection. He had less of a problem with me helping with the girls' bath as it required me to kneel for the most part. However, I was exhausted by the time we finally put them to bed, so when Aaron helped me to my room I didn't complain.

Even though he told me we were engaged when I first awoke, we hadn't shared a bed together except a nap or two that involved the twins. Though, I wasn't rushing for that part of our relationship to return. I still wasn't completely comfortable with the idea of us being together, so I was glad he wasn't pushing our relationship along. However, it was easy for me to see what I loved about him, his caring nature being one of many things. While I may not be interested in picking up right where we left off, I can't help that I was curious about what it had been like between us in bed. Did his caring nature spill over into bed play? Only time would tell.

After helping me change with his eyes adorably closed, he helped me into bed then gave me a very chaste kiss on the cheek, his nightly ritual, before leaving my room.

The week went on as normal. Taking care of the kids, going to therapy, trying to get my life back on track. Yet underneath all the laughs and smiles, something didn't seem right about Aaron. I kept thinking about the phone call from Changmin's mom and I couldn't shake the feeling that Aaron was hiding something from me, the first time I ever felt such a thing since waking up. It was weird because since I opened my eyes, he had been my rock, even when I felt confused about everything around me, he provided stability in my life. Now with my parents gone, I depended on him completely. It felt wrong that I should question anything he did because he was doing so much for me, but...

I managed to ignore the odd feelings for the most part and continue on with life, telling myself to forget about it. If there was anything important to be said, Aaron would tell me.

Another month passed in a blink of an eye and suddenly it was Christmas. It was a holiday I looked forward to because it was the first one I could really enjoy since waking up from my coma. Yes, I still had further to go in my recovery, but I felt much steadier when it came to moving around and lifting things. I was also able to stand for longer periods of time, which meant I could cook, something I hadn't done in over a year.

So, before my family woke up, I was in the kitchen making a big breakfast while singing along to some jingles coming from the speakers in the living room. The twins made it downstairs before Aaron and I let both help me with the finishing touches for breakfast. I was a bit tired afterward, but not super exhausted that I was ready to collapse, which would have been normal only a couple months ago.

I was putting the last dish on the dining table when Aaron came down the steps.

"Canisha, what are you doing?"

I turned and smiled at him. "I made breakfast."

"I can both see and smell that," he said as he came closer. "Let me rephrase my question. Why did you make breakfast when—

"I am perfectly healthy and capable of flipping a pancake or two?" I finished for him, bring a frown to his lips. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I went up on my tip toes to press a kiss to the frown in hopes to turn it upside down. "Because I love you."

While it had taken me a bit to get used to the idea of Aaron and me being a thing, once I finally came to terms with it, I realized that I did have feelings for him. Whether they were feelings from my forgotten memories or something new that had sparked since I woke up, I didn't know. The only thing I knew was that I loved him for everything he was. Caring. Sweet. Intelligent. And most simply wonderful. I couldn't ask for a better man.

Once I realized my feelings, I decided to make the first move and break the solely friendly touches he had maintained. The first time I kissed him, I could tell he was surprised. Yet, he had kissed me back and I felt all the passion and love he had for me in return, which only reasserted my feelings. Still, we did little more than kissed and sadly still weren't sharing a bed. However, my hopes were that tonight that would change.

He looked at me unamused then sighed and gave me another peck. "I could never stop you from doing anything once you put your mind to it. And you already finished cooking, so working myself up would doing nothing."

"Glad you see things from my perspective." I grinned.

Small hands pushing at my legs, had me looking down to find Sumire and Mila.

"No, no."

In the last week or so, the twins had apparently developed a possessive trait that sprung up any time they deemed Aaron and I were too close for their liking. After all, their mama was theirs. I looked at Aaron and we both chuckled, before scooping up a toddler each and placing them in their highchairs for breakfast.

After a good meal, that turn messy when Mila thought it was a good idea to throw a handful of eggs at her sister. Sumire, of course, had retaliated. Though, after a quick cleaning up and a wipe down, the twins were ready for presents, as was I.

At first, when I realized Christmas was approached, I felt a bit sadden by the fact I didn't have money to buys the girls' gifts. I guessed my emotions were clear as day on my face because Aaron had asked me what was wrong and didn't let up until I told him. After revealing my concern, he told me to check my bank account.

I hadn't checked it since waking up because I hadn't had any need to. Honestly, it was wrong of me to let Aaron shoulder all the financial burden without asking questions, but I already knew I was just as broke as any other college student. Possibly even broker. My parents had told me I took an impromptu trip to Europe the past year and I could only imagine what it had cost me. So, I pretended my bank account didn't exist until the day Aaron told me to check it.

When I did, I had counted the commas in my account. Then counted them again. Then again. Then I started doing an internal happy dance to know I was rich.

That lasted all of two minutes when I realized who put the money in my account. Though, when I told Aaron I would give the money back to him, he said it wasn't from him. I'm pretty sure I must have robbed a bank to get so much money, but I decided not to kick a fuss anymore and buy more presents than necessary for the twins and Aaron. Then I bought a few more gifts for my other family members and friends. Despite deciding to spend this holiday with only my immediate family because of my health, I wanted everyone to know I was still thinking about them.

After opening gifts, we spent the rest of the day playing and watching movies until night fell. Once it was dark, Aaron took us on a drive to see the Christmas lights, which the girls fell asleep halfway through. At home, we put them to bed before going into our own rooms. Since I felt stronger, I stopped letting Aaron help me change about two weeks ago, which worked out perfectly for my surprise.

I took a quick shower then put on my new lingerie I ordered just for tonight before heading to his bedroom. Nerves and butterflies filled me as I walked across the hall and with every step, I grew a bit more worried. At his door, though, I shook myself out of it. I really wanted this, and I was sure, or at the very least hoped, that he wanted it too.

The thought crossed my mind to knock on his door but then I decided against it. Instead, I simply opened the door and walked in. He wasn't in the room, but I heard the shower running in his bathroom. I went to his bed and tried to figure out how to position myself. After a couple of awkward poses, I gave up and simply sat against the headboard.

The water shut off and a moment later he came out of his ensuite bathroom, toweling his hair dry while another towel sat low on his hips leaving his top half exposed to devouring eyes.

Oh yeah, I most definitely wanted this.

He tossed the towel onto the bed and stopped dead in his tracks after spotting me. Biting my lip, I managed a twinkle of the fingers.

"Hello."

I watched him take a deep breath as he took me in. Then his gaze locked with mine and I could practically feel the heat radiating off him despite the distance between us.

"Canisha, why are you in my room?"

"You're always asking me these nonsensical questions, you know," I said on a nervous chuckle. "If it's not completely obvious already, I came to give you your last present of the day." I framed my face with my hands and smiled wide.

He closed his eyes and several seconds went by before he opened them again. His hesitance made my nervous return full force and I began wondering if I had made a mistake.

"We shouldn't. The doctor—

"Has given me the okay," I told him. "After you left the room last week, I asked about it and she said it was fine as long as I felt up to it." My words kind of gush out and it only served to make me feel more awkward. "But...I mean, if you don't...I understand."

I started scooting off the bed, but Aaron stepped in front of me, blocking my exit. "Wait, Canisha." He took another deep breath before saying, "We need to talk."

"Is something wrong?" I asked him.

He sat next to me on the edge of the bed with a look of apprehension that had me even more worried. "I haven't been completely honest with you since you woke up."

I frowned, a bit shocked by that. "You lied to me?"

"No! I mean, a bit. Though, I don't think it's best to keep up the façade any longer." I could feel the anxiety rolling off him and I couldn't resist wrapping my arms around him in a comforting embrace. Even if he hadn't been completely honest with me, I... I found I didn't mind. He had been there for me when I needed him most. Taken care of everything before I could even ask.

He pressed a kiss to my hair before squeezed me tight once before letting me go and putting some distance between us. I didn't like it, but I didn't complain.

"I have to tell you this Canisha because, as selfish as it is, I don't want you to hate me once you get your memories back."

I knew in my heart I would never hate him. Those memories that were lost to me still weighed on my heart. However, Aaron would forever to be an important fixture in my life.

I reached out and cupped in my hand his cheek with a smile. "I could never hate you."

His hand covered my own and he turned his head enough to place a kiss to the palm of my hand before lowering my hand away from his face. Though, he kept it grasped in his.

"When you woke up, I told you I was the father of the girls. Well, that's not completely true. Only Sumire is my biological daughter."

The news had me stunned. Aaron only fathered Sumire? The girls were twins, though. How could that be possible?

"I know it may not make sense to you, but we had testing done when the girls were born."

"Why?" As I asked the question, I felt my stomach sink a bit. Had I been fooling myself about this happy, perfect family I had woken up to?

"Because we didn't know who the father was. Because both Changmin and I had been intimate with you when you got pregnant."

I laughed. Then laughed some more. I didn't believe him. Not only had I had sex with Aaron, but I also had sex with Changmin. On top of that, I was so much of a hoe that I was fucking them in the same interval of time. I know myself. I would never do something like that as much as my friends and I had joked about it.

"Canisha, I'm telling the truth."

"If that's true, then why don't you hate me? I was having sex with your friend behind your back," I stated.

He looked away. "It wasn't behind my back. Not at first."

My humor dried up as I realized he was completely serious. "What do you mean?"

He cleared his throat before admitting, "You, Changmin, and I were having sex. Together. And often. Very often."

My mouth fell open. And here I thought nothing could top the surprise of waking up to find I was a mother. "No way."

Aaron sighed. "Very much way. The first time it happened, I don't any of us expected it to happen again. Well, Changmin might have. Then it did happen again. And again. It went on for several months."

I tried to wrap my head around what he was telling me. It was so unbelievable. Except I did believe him. Even though he just admitted lying to me, I knew he was telling the truth in my gut.

"Why are you telling me this now?" I asked the question despite knowing the answer. He held off because he wanted to make sure I was of sound mind before dropping this bombshell on me, as well as whatever other bombshells he was about to drop. Were there more bombshells?

"Because you were already confused, and I didn't want to confuse you anymore. At least, that was my excuse at first, but as you got better, I still put it off again and again because...because of my own selfishness."

I let his words sink in. I had sex with Aaron. And Changmin. Something neither of them had a problem with. Well, at least not at first Aaron said. I got pregnant with both their kids, at the same time, something I didn't even know was a possibility. For the first time in a month, I thought about Aaron's phone call with Changmin's mom.

"Okay. Okay. So, we all had some crazy relationship going on. I got pregnant and of course, it would have been weird to admit that the twins had two different fathers, so I named you the father, I'm guessing. So then why does Changmin's mom want to see me and the girls if everyone thinks both twins are yours."

Aaron shook his head. "No, they think they're both Changmin's."

I rubbed my temples even more confused. If everyone thought Changmin was the father, then why did my parents not say anything to me when Aaron claimed to be the father.

"Before you blame your parents or anyone else for anything, it was all my fault. I decide on my own to tell you I was the father then afterward I convinced everyone not to tell you that Changmin was the father as to not give you any unneeded confusion until you were better."

And they all agreed to it. The reasoning behind that was clear, but there was something that wasn't making sense to me.

"Why would I pick Changmin as the defacto father when he wasn't?" If I was supposed to marry Aaron, wouldn't it make more sense to name him as the dad? Maybe it was best Aaron had waited to tell me this because it was a confusing situation, and I might not have taken it well when I first woke up.

"Because you and I agreed it was for the best once we got the result." He squeezed my hand tight and closed his eyes, taking another shaky breath, "You decided you wanted to marry Changmin and because I really wanted things to work out between you two, I gave up my rights to Sumire. It was a hard decision for me at the time, but I loved you and I didn't want to cause you any unnecessary pain. I also knew I would be able to see my daughter at any time because you would never keep her away from me, which made the decision a little easier."

I stared at him for a whole minute, not knowing what to say. I was shocked, yes. What shocked me the most was that I agreed to let Aaron give up his rights. I really had been selfish. Once again, I wondered what kind of person I had become over the last two years. I was confused and annoyed that I didn't have my memories at this moment to make sense of everything. What had I been thinking when all this was taking place? Was the love I felt for Aaron a lie? So many thoughts were running through my head and not stopping to give me a break.

But I pulled myself together because there was one more thing I needed to know. "Where's Changmin?" If he was the man I was supposed to marry and who I loved enough to let Aaron give up his parental rights without a fuss, then why wasn't he by my side instead of Aaron.

He looked away from me again, but I cupped his face with both of my hands and forced him to look at me. "Answer me, Aaron."

He closed his eyes and when he opened them again his eyes were glassy. "Hold on."

Standing up, he walked across the room to his chest. He opened a drawer and took something out before heading over to the TV. I waited patiently as he fiddled around for a moment before stepping away from the screen, allowing me to see Changmin's face on the TV. He came back to me and handed me a remote and a small jewelry box.

"I'll wait outside for you when you're done." On his way out of the room, he grabbed his robe off the back of the door before closing it tight.

I looked at the remote in my hand with uncertainty. I took a breath and shook my head. Whatever was on this video, I needed to see. Maybe it would give me some clarity. With that thought in mind, I pressed play.

Chapter 8

"Okay. I think it's recording." Changmin said as he did something to the camera, causing the image to become shaky before settling once more.

I watched as he stepped back and sat down. He smiled and waved at the lens. "Hi, Canisha. By the time you're watching this video, I have already made you my wife and we probably have several more children between us. I also probably look even worse in the present than I do at this moment, or did, but you were stuck with me because I never let you divorce me. Sorry, but not sorry." He chuckled.

It was surreal that Changmin, this impossible figure I never thought I would ever meet was talking to me. Well, talking to me through a screen. Still, the point was that it was just as hard to believe as when I woke up that Aaron told me he was the father of my children.

"I decided to record this video since I've always had fun making videos." He winked. "Too bad this one isn't as fun. I wonder how many more we've added to our collection."

It was obvious he was joking about something, but I didn't get it. Maybe Aaron could explain it to me.

"My mom recently asked me about what would happen to you and our kids if I was no longer there, so I decided to put some plans in place to ensure your wellbeing. I wrote my first will today. I doubt it will be the same copy you read, but I have to admit it was an interesting experience. As I wrote it, I realized how much you mean to me. I don't want to even think about a life in which you guys don't exist. Though we've had our fair share of problems, I don't regret anything because everything that has happened between us has led us to where we are today. Not in my thirty years of life have I ever been happier." He laughed again and it made me smile.

"Gosh, I sound sappy as shit. But it's all true. Anyways, in preparation for our children's future, I started a trust fund for them they will obtain when they turn 21. You, of course, get everything else I own, including the royalties to every song I've written. Don't worry, I left something for my mother as well, so don't nag me. Though, the most important thing of all is this." He held up something small and sparkling. "I realize now that you might not be able to see it but I'm sure you have it on your finger. It's the ring I will give to you when I marry you next month. It has the only word that could ever come close to describing what you are to me."

I opened the box and inside saw two bands. The smaller one I picked up. I turned it until I found the transcription. There was only one word. Everything.

I glanced back at the screen through a teary gaze as he started speaking again. "When I'm gone one day, hopefully not too soon, I hope your life is as full as the one you have given me. Don't let anything hold you back from being happy. Including me."

Somewhere off screen, I heard my own voice. "Changmin, hurry up! We have to go!"

Changmin grinned at me. "It seems I'm being summoned by you, beautiful. Before I go, I have one last thing to say, tell our children I love them. I also love you, Canisha, my wife, my one and only, with everything that I am."

The tears were coming so hard and fast I couldn't do anything but let them fall. My breath was catching, and I could feel the mucus starting to drip from my nose as I cried harder. I was crying so hard I didn't even realize the door opened until Aaron has his arms around me.

"I'm so sorry, Canisha. So sorry." As he held me, I could feel the wetness from his own tears on my shoulder.

Aaron may have felt sorry, but he was no sorrier than I because this amazing man had loved me so intensely and I couldn't even remember him. That hurt worst of all.

When I awoke, I was alone in Aaron's bed and completely wrapped up in the sheets. I stared up at the ceiling for a moment as my brain started moving along. Last night had not been what I expected at all. I thought I had got past all the surprises I was to encounter since waking up only to be run over by a steam roller without forewarning. Well, I guess there was some, now that I looked back and analyzed some of Aaron's behavior, but I never would have thought much of it if he never showed me that video.

I had been in love with a different man. Almost married him, apparently. Yet, I would never be able to meet him again.

Since I spent the rest of the night crying until finally falling asleep, I didn't get all the answers I needed, but now that I was awake, I wanted those answers badly.

I sat up and looked around the room. Aaron was nowhere in sight and it seemed that he might not have spent the night with me, as the bed beside me was cool. I knew I had fallen asleep in his arms so he must have slipped out afterward and sleep in one of the other many bedrooms.

Getting up, I headed to my room first to grab my robe and slip it on. Then I began the search for Aaron, which eventually led me outside to the pool. He was sitting at the edge of the water with his legs dangling inside. I followed his gaze in the sky and saw the circle of the moon, almost invisible in the coming rays of the sun. Walking to him, I sat down as well, arranging my robe so I could dip my feet in the pool without getting it wet.

"Good morning."

He turned his gaze on me then and gave me a soft smile. "Good morning."

"Where did you sleep last night?"

He shrugged. "I didn't. My mind was too busy. After spending the night playing instruments, I came out here to watch the sunrise."

"The sunrise is behind us," I teased.

"You're right."

I could feel the guilt crashing through him and I wondered if he would ever forgive himself. I already had. Or should I say, I didn't have to forgive him because I didn't feel like he did anything wrong. Yes, he lied to me by omission, but how could I hold it against him when he had already done so much more than he needed to for my sake. And it seemed silly to hate him for something I couldn't even remember, even if he did.

So, I leaned my head against his shoulder, in hopes it would show him I was there for him.

"I'm sorry, Canisha." The sorrow in his voice was enough to make me teary again. I may have lost my would-be husband, but he also lost his best friend.

"I'll accept your apology if you promise me you won't apologize again."

He shifted then so he could look at my face. Before he could say anything, I poked my finger at his nose and said, "I mean it. You apologize again and I'll be really, really mad with you. Maybe enough to leave and never look back."

My joke missed the target and only made him look more worried.

I sighed then leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. Despite everything new I had learned last night, there was one thing I was still sure of and that was my love for him.

After a moment, he pulled away and cupped my face with his hand. "I'm a horrible person to have taken advantage of your trust."

"Yeah, that's probably true, but I'm already going to hell and I prefer to have you there with me." I grinned.

He shook his head and let his hand fall away from my face as he chuckled. "You are the Canisha I know through and through."

I smiled as well, happy I was able to get a laugh out of him. It was weird not to see him smiling as he was always smiling. Aaron was just a bright person, who seemed to favor looking at the better things in life instead of letting the bad things weigh him down.

Once we settled back into silence and I said, "I had a couple more questions to ask you before I...well, you know."

He nodded. "Ask away."

"The money in my account was his?"

"Yeah. I have a copy of his will if you want to read it. It's much more detailed than the video was," he said.

"You watched it?"

He nodded. "I was going through his camera a few months after he died. We had yet to touch his things, but the others and I decided it was time to pack them up. Though we kept everything in storage for you in case there was anything you wanted."

"Now that you mention it, Changmin alluded to some videos he enjoyed making. Are they still on the camera?"

Aaron coughed then cleared his throat. "I forgot about that part," he muttered under his breath before saying, "No. They're on an SD card, which I thankful found before anyone else did."

"Thankfully?" I narrowed my eyes at him. "What's so interesting about these videos."

He bit his lip. "Um..." He sighed. "I should have just wiped the card as soon as I found it," he said once more under his breath, which only increased my suspicion.

"They're naughty, aren't they?"

He started laughing. "I think they're a bit past that. Remember when I told you about the relationship between us three?"

My eyes widen. "No..."

"We didn't agree to it at first." He quickly explained. "Changmin was doing it secretly, but then the idiot had to hold it in his hand that one time and we found out."

I started laughing. Gosh. So, not only had I been having threesomes, but I was also making pornos. What was going through my head when all of this happened?

"You're laughing now, but you were pissed when you found out. So was I, as a matter of fact," he informed me.

Yeah, I don't doubt that. Yet, I had still planned on marrying the dude behind it all. I guess this was one of those problems we overcame that Changmin spoke about.

"So, how long was I angry for?"

He paused for thought before answering, "Maybe an hour or two. By the next morning, we were both over it. Until it became a problem again." Before I could ask, he answered my unspoken question. "Kai saw videos. Well, at least one of them. It was very weird in that moment because Changmin and I both happened to walk into the room and see it playing on the living room TV."

"Oh my god." I started laughing again. "That had to be embarrassing." Now I didn't think I would be able to face the man again knowing that he saw a lot more of me than most people, doing what I can only imagine as raunchy things.

"Believe me, it was. Kai had given us an ultimatum and it ended up splitting the three of us apart. Though it probably would have all blown up in our faces even if Kai had never found out. We weren't headed down a good path."

I kicked my feet in the water and watched the ripples I created. "But we overcame it."

Aaron copied my motion as he said, "Yes. Once Changmin brought you back from Europe and you told me you were pregnant, we started patching up our friendships at the very least. Though, there was a point of time when you completely ignored all contact from me and Changmin. I don't think it was until after the twins were born that we really became comfortable with each other again."

I dipped my fingers in the cool water as I asked the question that was the most difficult. "The accident I was in that caused my coma, was Changmin in it too?" A couple of days after waking up, my mom told me that I was in a car accident. While she hadn't been specific with the details, I hadn't pushed for more because I didn't think there was more to it until now.

He hesitated only a moment before nodding again. "On the way to your ceremony, there was a drunk driver who ended up speeding through a stop light. He t-boned a car and sent it rolling. Chaos ensued in the intersection afterward. The limo you two were in was completely total. The firefighter had to cut the door off just to get you guys out. The driver died on impact. Changmin was still aware when we got to the hospital, but he died in surgery. Before he went through those double doors, he spoke his last words to me."

"What were they?"

His gaze got watery again and shook his head. "They were crazy. As usual." He tried to laugh but it lacked heart. "He always said the craziest things, the idiot. Saying jokes even on his death bed."

I took his hand in mine and gave it a comforting squeeze. "What did he say?"

A child scream from the house brought our moment to an abrupt end.

Aaron smiled and looked at the house. "It seems our free period is over." He got to his feet and helped me up. "On to our jailers."

I grinned. "Lead the way, captain."

Chapter 9

4 years later

"I will forever cherish this night."

"Me too."

I felt myself becoming aware of my surroundings as I woke. My dream of the previous night was fading. By the time I opened my eyes, I could no longer remember what it was about. All I knew was that it felt so real and I felt the urge to cry for some reason.

Rolling over in bed, I looked at the sleeping man beside me. As large as he was, you would expect him to take up the most space in bed, but I always ended up with the biggest chuck. The poor man was even considerate in his sleep.

Going up on my elbows, I leaned over and kissed his cheek. His eyes squinted as his face took on an adorably confused expression. Unable to resist, I kissed him again, this time on those inviting lips.

"You know, I think this counts as sexual assault." A deep voice murmured against my lips.

I pulled back and looked into his hazel gaze. "Well, that I believe would depend on if you like it."

"Oh, I definitely like it," he said, pulling me back down for another kiss.

His tongue licked the seam of my lips and I opened to him without a second guess. Large hands gripped my waist and hauled me until I was straddling his body. As his tongue explored my mouth, my hands explored his body, caressing the hard planes which were a sharp contrast to my soft curves. My fingers dance along the fine line of his collar bone before skimming down to the wide expanse of his chest. His practice kiss faltered as a nail caught a nipple.

I grinned, enjoying the ease it took to make him lose focus. However, my grin didn't last for long because his fingers found something to play with as well that had me gasping me.

"That's cheating," I said, trying to glare at him but the sensations he was causing made my voice unsteady and my mind even more so.

"All's fair," he said in response, before licking the spot on my neck that always seemed to send my systems into overdrive. He knew me too well.

Luckily, I knew him just the same. I just had to ignore what he was doing to put my own knowledge to use. That thought quickly fled my mind as a finger pushed its way inside me. The man was playing me like a fiddle and all I could do was moan helplessly. He took my lips with his and pure instinct drove me as he brought me closer to breaking point.

"Wait. Wait." I gasped, pulling his hand away.

He looked at me with concern. "Is everything okay?"

I shook my head. "I just didn't want to cum yet. Not before you're inside me."

His smile was slow and sweet as my words registered. "Hold on just a moment," he said as he reached over to the nightstand before resting back with a wrapped condom in hand.

Taking it from him, I opened the package then threw it aside so I could slide the condom over his hard erection. I gave the base a little squeeze after the task was complete and was rewarded with a groan.

"I call mercy."

I rolled my eyes. "I haven't even done anything yet."

"The key word in that sentence is yet, my love," he said as he pulled my body back down to cover his. "And I learned not to trust you," he added before kissing me once more as the head of his penis found the entrance to my body.

I murmured against his lips while rocking my hips back and forth, slowly taking him inside. A sigh escaped my lips after our hips finally met. The feeling of him being inside me was something I would never tire of. I could still remember our first time after my coma.

It had been almost a year after I awoke. I had been ready to give myself to him only after a few months, but he had wanted to wait. Whether it was from guilt or some other feeling, he never explained, but he did tell me he wanted us to take our time relearning each other and I could offer no objections. On the night I lost my virginity for the second time, I was amazed at how well we just clicked. The awkwardness I expected was nonexistent thanks to the care and passion Aaron gave me.

"I love you," he whispered against my lips as he caressed them with his own.

My heart thudded in my chest at his words. No matter how many times I heard them, it never stopped racing. This man owned every part of me and if I was to lose him I would surely be lost.

"I love you," I responded in kind before deepening our kiss.

His hands held my hip as his ground against me until I was gasping his name. My eyelid slid close as I opened up the rest of my senses to him. The taste of his salty skin against my tongue. The feel of hard muscle covered by smoothness. The smell that was undeniably him. I felt both overwhelmed and at peace because of him.

My body moved to his rhythm without thought, which was perfect since my mind was too gone to think of much else but the man beneath me who was beautiful in every way.

When it was over and both of our bodies were sated, he held me in his arms and pressed a kiss to my forehead. My fingers idly caressed the stubble on his chin as we basked in this private moment we had before the world came crashing down around us.

"I don't deserve you," I told him.

His smile was pure and sweet. "That's my line."

While he most definitely believed he was the lucky one in this relationship, I knew it was me, hands-down. He was always giving, and I was always taking. I wanted to give him everything he deserved, but how do you give someone something when they already have everything. It wasn't something I was always thought about because it made me a bit depressed, but when I did think about it, it was all I could think about.

There was only one thing I hadn't given him and that was only because he hadn't asked. Once he clarified that he wasn't my fiancé, the subject was never touched again. Though there was nothing in the rules list that said I couldn't ask myself.

"Daddy, I want the purple one," Mila said, pointing at the purple teddy bear on the display while tugging on Aaron's hand.

She was wearing her favorite yellow overalls that were paired with a white polka dotted blouse and black sneaker. Her black curls were piled in a bun on top of her head. The sunlight made her ochre skin glow and turned her dark eyes to chocolate as she looked up to him pleadingly.

Sumire pulled on his other hand and said, "I want one too, daddy."

She too was dressed in her favorite outfit. A green shirt with a giant ladybug and blue jean shorts with white sneakers. Instead of a single bun, her curls were in pigtails, each with their own small white bow. While her skin tone was similar to her sisters, the eyes that begged matched the hazel gaze of her father.

We were spending the day at the amusement park as it was one of those days that both Aaron and I were off work. At the age of five, both girls were the most intelligent and spoiled little brats you would ever meet. I blame the second part of the description on their father, who quickly succumbed to their every wish.

"Okay girls."

Due to the fact he was a famous celebrity in South Korea, Aaron wore a pair of sunglasses and a ballcap that went perfectly with his sports t-shirt and jeans. Though, in my opinion, I felt the sunglass and hat made him stick out more. He had already been asked for a picture and autograph several times.

I rolled my eyes before saying, "No. You both already have a mountain of stuff animals at home."

Like Aaron, I was dressed simply as well. Skinny jeans and print-less shirt looked flattering while being efficient for a day full of running around.

"But mommy..." Sumire whined while Mila pouted.

Aaron turned his own version of a pout on me. "Pretty please."

I stared at him, unamused.

He picked up both girls, so I had three pouting faces at eye level. "How can you say no to our little princesses? Just look at them."

I did. They were adorable, manipulative demons that I loved with all my heart. "Ugh! Fine."

All three of them cheered and I couldn't help but smile. I know I shouldn't be so lenient but every time I watched them together my heart tugged. Maybe I too was a bit to blamed for the girls being spoiled, I thought as I watched Aaron carry them over to the vendor, where they each personally choose a bear before Aaron set them down to pay for it.

Two years had passed since we all moved to Korea. After completing my therapy, I went back to school and finally got my bachelor's degree. It took six years, but it finally happened. Afterward, I had a decision to make. Stay in California near my friends or move back to Florida where my family. I decided to make the easiest decision. South Korea.

When I returned to school, Aaron had returned to work, which meant he had been splitting his time between California and South Korea. He had been so willing to fly back and forth, it seemed only fair that I went to him for once. Aaron, of course, was thrown for a whirl. He immediately started to freak out about it all, as I learned was accustom for him, the poor soul. So, to help him keep it all together, I simply packed up the twins and flew to Korea without warning. So far, everything was working out great.

I got a job at a gaming company working on software development and coding. Between the demanding job and the girls, I was kept busy enough not to overly miss Aaron when he was away working on projects and activities overseas.

I had yet to get my lost memories back and the doctor believes it's unlikely I ever will. Most days the fact of the matter doesn't bother me, but there are sometimes I wished I remembered all that occurred after my twenty-first birthday.

"Look, mommy. Mine is a pirate. Argh," Sumire said as she raced back to my side to show me her new toy.

"Mine's a princess. Like me." Mila grinned, waving the bear in a pink tutu around.

"They're both very cute," I told them, giving each girl a little pinch on the cheek.

As they rubbed their offend flesh, Aaron rejoined us. "Where shall I escort my lovely ladies next?"

Though I learned shortly after waking up that Aaron was only the biological father of Sumire, I didn't object to that fact that he treated Mila like his daughter as well. In fact, I appreciated it a lot. However, we both decided that once she was old enough to understand, we would explain who her real father was. I just hope when that day comes, her relationship with Aaron would remain the same.

"The Ferris wheel!" Sumire shouted.

"Do you concur?" He asked Mila.

Mila nodded enthusiastically.

He scooped both girls up once more and I took the bears from them so they could hold on properly. "Off we go."

I trailed a bit behind them, absent-mindedly twirling the ring on my right fourth finger Changmin had meant to give me on our wedding day. Though I didn't remember the man, I continued to wear the ring as a token of our lost shared memories, something Aaron didn't have a problem with, thankfully.

After an early, and somewhat grumpy, start, we arrived at the park as soon as it opened, and I proceeded to watch them ride several toddler-friendly rides before having lunch with cartoon characters. After that, we went to a few shows and the girls rode several more rides.

Despite the busy day and missing their naps, the girls still appeared wide awake. They both oohed and awed over the big structures in the park on the Ferris wheel. From experience, I knew they would both knock out as soon as we buckled them into their car seats.

"When do the fireworks start?" Mila asked after the sun went down.

I checked my phone before responding. "About twenty minutes. Is there something you want to do before then?"

"Ice cream!"

"You already had ice cream today," I reminded her.

In response to my words, she turned a pout on Aaron, who then looked at me. I could only shake my head. "You're horrible, you know that?"

Aaron shrugged. "I just like making my princesses happy. That includes you," he said, pressing a kiss to my cheek. "And today's a special day. It's national Parent's Day."

"I guess you're right. Though, you should know you're the reason they're going to be troublesome teens. When that day comes, don't ask me how it happened," I told him as I grabbed onto Sumire's hand when she tried to wander off towards something that caught her eye.

"If that happens, I'll take full responsibility." He held up his hand as if making a pledge. "So, let's get ice cream."

That's how we ended up eating a cone of ice cream each while seating on the grass as we watched bright lights fill the dark sky. It was a perfect ending to a fun day. I glanced at Aaron, smiling as I saw he was just as enraptured by the sight as our twins were.

Finished with my ice cream, I went into my backpack that held everything needed for a day at an amusement park and pulled out the small velvety box I obtained a couple weeks ago. Inside were two matching platinum bands that were adorned by intricate cravings, which made them more appealing than the other rings that glittered with diamonds.

I took out the bigger ring and picked up Aaron's right hand before proceeding to slide the ring on his fourth finger. When I glanced at his face this time, he was watching me intently.

"What's this?"

"I was thinking it's about time I made you an honest man." I grinned. "What would your fans say once they find out you foisted three kids off on some poor woman without tying the knot?"

He frowned. "Three?"

I nodded. "Well, almost three. Would you like to help me make the next one?"

He grinned. "Well, I guess there's only one thing to say." He took the box from me and removed the smaller ring before slipping on the ring finger of my left hand. "It's about damn time." Then he proceeded kissed me as if he would never let me go. I personally planned to hold onto him forever.

###

Author's Note

I hope you guys enjoyed the story and it was a satisfying ending. I wrote Memoirs of a Sex Addict over six years ago before finally publishing it in 2016. However, I still didn't know how to end the story. It wasn't until I completed my next story Fera Bond that I had inspiration to finish the story. Then I rewrote it again in December and finally finished the story two weeks ago. This story is one that has taken up the most amount of time in my life for the smallest word count. I find that quite amusing.

Anyway, thank you for reading my story and check out my full length novel Fera Bond, which is also free through your favorite e-book retailer. The second installment of the Fera series is coming out this year, so be on the lookout.

If you need to contact me, reach me at amoikin@yahoo.com or amoikin.wordpress.com

Love,

Amoi

Excerpt from Fera Bond

Oceana had made a connection. In fact, upon first seeing him, she couldn't take her eyes off him. She followed his every movement, every hand gesture as if hypnotized by a magician. When he spoke, his voice made her heart flutter. Even though he was simply ordering a meal and not speaking to her in any suggestive way, her heart didn't care for the minor details. And they were very, very minor.

It could be something as simple as lust. Her sister had concluded that. And Oceana could not deny that she felt that way, but there was more to it. But she wasn't sure she could call it love. She just knew it wasn't something as simple as lust.

Not that she didn't think about being in bed with him all day. What she would give to fuck his brains out...

At the moment her fascination sat at his regular table, closest to the windows and front door, completely oblivious of how gorgeous he was.

Oceana couldn't stop herself from sighing at the sight of him through the kitchen window. His hair was a rich charcoal with loose waves that went no further than the top his ears. Though his hair had a boyish appearance, it didn't soften the sharp, masculine features of his face. He seemed like the serious type, having no apparent laugh lines around his mouth and eyes. Sexy muscles were covered by bronze skin that had no apparent blemishes.

His eyes... Don't even get her started on those beauties. They just so happened to be her favorite color and held a mystery in them that had her curious.

And though Oceana hated tall people-after all, they made her feel like an utter midget- she had no problem with the fact that he towered over her. It was one of the things she liked about him.

Hell. She liked everything about him. Who wouldn't like a guy with a muscular build, broad shoulders, and a deep, sexy voice? No one in their right minds, that's who. Which was probably why every woman in the diner, and even a few men, looked at him with desire-filled gazes. And though Oceana wasn't the jealous type, she didn't approve of them stripping him with their eyes. After all, he was hers, even if it was only true in her little crazy world.

Wait. Had she cursed again? Oh well. At the moment she couldn't care less.

"Stalker," a voice murmured into her ear.

Oceana turned and glared sharply at her coworker. "Go away, bimbo."

Chris released a gasp as fake as Oceana's insult and touched a hand to her heart. "You mean skank! How dare you judge me by my perfectly bleached hair!" The more she spoke, the more prominent her southern accent became.

Oceana snorted-another thing she did that was not lady-like-but couldn't stop herself from smiling. "Sorry. I'm fucking moody and horny. Definitely not a good combination," she stated with a frustrated breath.

Wait, did she just think fu-

Dam- I mean dang it. Have to put another quarter in the jar when I get home.

She always had a problem with cursing and was currently trying to curb the bad habit. Even the cursing in her head she was trying to stop because that usually led to her cursing out loud. She often heard that her mouth was dirtier than a sailor's, which was not a good thing for "ladies". Supposedly.

Chris nodded with understanding. Chris never judged Oceana no matter how many weird things she said or did. Half the time Chris joined in with Oceana's craziness, which was why Oceana loved her.

"By the way, your insults absolutely suck ass now that you stopped cursing," Chris told her.

Oceana had nothing to say to that. It was almost like she lost a limb not being able to cuss every other sentence.

"So, are you going to wait on Mr. Fuckable today?" Chris asked as she fixed her short, bob-cut hair in the small mirror they had in the kitchen, before turning to grin at Oceana, "Or do I get to again?"

Mr. Fuckable had been Chris's coin name for him since he first came into the diner almost a week ago and Oceana had given up trying to get Chris to stop calling him by that name after an hour. After all, how could she argue a fact that was very true? He was definitely fuckable.

Oceana sighed inwardly at her steady failure. Why did she have to promise Star to act like a lady? It was so much work.

She turned her attention back to the man who completely fascinated her before shaking her head. "I'm an utter klutz around him. As if I wasn't already unattractive enough, every time I serve him, I make a fucking fool of myself."

Oops. She cursed again. This was way harder than Star said it would be.

Chris rolled her eyes but still patted her friend's shoulder with support. "How many times do I have to tell you're beautiful inside and out before you believe me? I would kill to have your boobs."

It's not that Oceana thought of herself as ugly because she wasn't. She was simply average. If it wasn't for her overly-endowed breasts, she was pretty sure most guys who paid any attention to her wouldn't notice her.

And Oceana did like features on her body. Like her hair. Her eyes. Her calves, weird as that might seem. And, yes, her breasts. Though her girls attracted the wrong kind of attention, from time to time even she had to admire them. But she still wasn't a supermodel that could easily conquer the world of men and love.

Trying to purge herself of all negative thoughts, Oceana smiled at her bestie. "Easy for you to say. You're drop-dead gorgeous and have no problem getting any freaking guy you want."

Chris was all of five eight and slim. She had long legs, a small waist, and a flat stomach, much like Oceana's younger sister. Her chest, though on the small side, was perky and full. She also had striking hazel eyes, high cheeks, and plump lips.

"Freaking? Really? Are we still in the fifth grade?" Chris shook her head, obviously disappointed with Oceana's word choice. "Just say fuck. No one will sue you. Promise."

Oceana playfully stuck her tongue out at her friend. "Leave me the fuck alone." Someone asked her to say it this time, so it didn't count.

Chris clapped, causing Oceana to stick her tongue out at her.

"Anyways," Chris began, "not any guy. Your bae over there is not the least bit interested in me."

"If he's not interested in someone who could be a smexy model, why would he even notice me?" Oceana peered at her own reflection in the mirror and brushed aside the curls in her face that managed to escape her ponytail. "Let's face it. My dream is only a dream."

"Do I hear a pity party in here?" Scarlet, the owner of the restaurant, abruptly appeared in front of the kitchen window.

"Yes!" Jake, the cook, practically shouted. He pointed his spatula at Oceana and Chris. "Get these two out of my kitchen. They are distracting me from my amazing cooking."

Oceana shared a look with Chris before they both rolled their eyes. Jake was overly dramatic and that had nothing to do with his sexual preference.

Scarlet smiled. "Come on ladies. There are hungry customers out here waiting to be filled with food and knowledge."

Scarlet was the owner of the fine establishment. She had decided to combine her love for books and food into a bookstore/restaurant. While it seemed like a far-fetched idea, the shop was doing pretty well after being open for over two years with many regulars.

Oceana followed Chris out the kitchen only to find Scarlet waiting for them on the other side with her hands on her curvy hips. Scarlet was the complete opposite of Chris.

Scarlet was close to Oceana's height but that's where the similarities ended. Scarlet had that much desired hourglass figure and had no problem showing it off. She also had auburn hair that brushed her shoulders and a doll-like baby face.

While Oceana didn't hate herself, she couldn't help but envy her two closest friends a little. Not that she blamed them. No. It was all God's fault.

"Stupid shitty creator of all things." She muttered to herself. Dammit, I cursed again. Dammit. She needed to learn to stop thinking. It clearly wasn't helping her cause.

Sorry. Didn't mean that. Love you, God. She corrected herself. After all, she couldn't bad mouth the person she was praying to, to get her into medical school, now could she?

"This is the third time I've caught you hiding out in the kitchen this week." Scarlet's eyes pinned Oceana in place.

"Ugh..." Oceana quickly tried to think of an excuse. "My head hurt?"

"Bullcrap."

Chris wrapped an arm around Oceana's waist. "Give her a break, Scar. She's just flustered around her crush."

Scarlet's eyes lit up at the news, worrying Oceana a little. "Crush? Who? Shall I play cupid? I just finished reading another self-help dating book, so I'm your girl."

Scarlet was a hopeless romantic, much like Oceana which was probably why in her world she and Mr. Fuckable would live happily ever after. She blamed romance novels for her hopeful wishes.

Oceana tried to avert any further attention from her love-crazed friend by saying, "Oh look, a hungry customer," then swiftly made her escape from Scarlet's good, but always catastrophic, intentions. Instead of going to her obsession's table, she took the order of a nearby customer.

Chris passed by her, most likely to take his order. Oceana looked in his direction then inwardly gasped when her eyes clashed with his emeralds. Her heart did that thumping thing again and her palms started to feel clammy. It felt like she had stopped breathing. Had she? Biting her lip, she forced herself to break their brief connection. It took way more willpower than it should have.

