

## Seeds of Excellence For Teens;  
24 Life Principles For Those Who Want To Stand Out From The Crowd

### By: Jon Hansen

### Table of Contents

Introduction

Who Do You Want to Be? – The "10/80/10" Rule

Get 1% Better Every Day

Pareto Principle – AKA "80/20 Rule"

Forgive

Get Uncomfortable

Contribute Vs. Contaminate

Practice Daily Gratitude

Take Your Control Back

Growth Mindset

Train Your Mental Toughness Daily

Soar With The Eagles

Plan Each Day With Purpose

Find Your Word

Make RESPECT One of Your Words

Three Types of People You Need

Find The Light

Set The Tone – Be A Thermostat

You Need A Spotter

Consistency Is Key

Listen More

Do More

Ask Yourself "How Much Can I Handle?"

Pain of Discipline Versus The Pain of Regret

Excellent Mistake Response

Epilogue

# Introduction

As you read through this book, I want you to think of each principle as a "seed" - a seed of excellence.

When a farmer plants a seed in a field, the seed must be planted in an optimal environment so that it will grow and develop into its full potential - its purpose - its **"WHY"**. An apple tree seed will only grow into an apple tree if the correct conditions are met for its growth - the correct amount of precipitation and sunlight, the correct temperature, and nutrient-rich soil must all be provided for the apple tree to grow into its full potential. Even more importantly, the apple tree must be kept away from disease, insects and other predators that may destroy its growth completely.

The same is true for you: **the seeds you read about in this book will only develop and prosper IF you plant yourself in an optimal environment for growth.** You will only grow into your purpose if your environment is whole and pure.

What is the optimal environment for these seeds to grow and develop within you? First and foremost **, you NEED to surround yourself with positive people who have high standards, big dreams, and strong character** (later on, you will learn to call these people 'eagles'). These people, whether its family, friends, and/or coworkers, need to be the foundation - the nutrient-rich soil - for which these principles and seeds are built and rooted deep into.

Secondly, just how disease, insects, and predators can destroy the apple tree, so can negative and small-minded people do to you. If an apple tree is not planted in the correct environment, it will never grow into what it was supposed to become. Instead, it may grow half the size, wilt, and die. It may produce only a small portion of fruit that it was designed to. The apple tree will never reach significance. In the same way, if you plant yourself in a substandard environment, you will never grow into the PERSON you were designed to be. I PROMISE you will never meet your full potential. Just like the apple tree, you will only grow into a small piece of what you could have become.

Before you read any further, if you have not already done so, plant yourself in an environment so that you may grow to your full potential! I call this a "growth environment". Otherwise, reading this book will only be a waste of time - it would be like adding fertilizer to an apple tree planted in sand. Although the seed is planted, it will never grow because the sand is an unsuitable foundation for growth and development.

Planting yourself into a growth environment might mean that you have to say goodbye to some "weeds" in your life. Weeds choke out the life of the apple tree. Weeds block its sunlight. In the same way, negative people, your weeds, will choke the life out of these principles before you even begin to grow. **If you aren't willing to pull some weeds out of your life, then you will not grow.** It's that simple.

Now that you've planted yourself into an excellent environment, it's time to grow!

# Who Do You Want to Be? - The "10/80/10" Rule

Based on my experience, I believe that in any organization or setting - whether it be a classroom, a team, or a work environment (basically any setting where there is a group of people working and interacting together) - that roughly 10% of the people will be above average, 80% of the people will be average, and another 10% will be below average. Which one are you? Let's find out...

The main characteristic of a below average person is that they navigate through tasks with the mindset of trying to find an easier advantage - meaning they cut corners and try to get away with things whenever possible - by taking the path of least resistance. I like to call these people _energy-takers_ \- they take the energy out of others or out of a positive environment through selfish acts; such as complaining, gossiping, lying, blaming, and demonstrating unhealthy levels of anger.

We can probably all think of an energy-taker. This is the person that is seemingly never happy and will find a way to complain about everything: "it's too cold outside, my teacher doesn't like me, I hate homework," and the list goes on and on.

Energy-takers can be very dangerous people to be around for two reasons:

• _They will take YOUR energy AND;_

• _After taking your energy, they will replace that energy with negativity_

To put this into perspective, let's say you arrived at school with an extremely positive attitude and mindset - you had an amazing sleep and feel refreshed and energetic, you got a compliment on how well you look this morning, you have an amazing relationship with your first period teacher, and you had a nutritious breakfast that is going to fuel you to lunch break - so your positive energy level is at a "10".

However, as you walk into class, your long-time best friend since second grade begins to immediately complain about their morning - they got into a fight with their parents, they slept in and missed the bus and didn't get a chance to eat breakfast or prepare a lunch, and didn't do their homework because they were binging on YouTube and Netflix the evening before. Once this negative language attaches itself to you, your energy is taken - you too are now in a bad mood. Your level 10 energy is at a 0, and before you know it, you begin to complain about how second period sucks because the teacher is unfair. You are now at a -5. Not only has your positive energy been taken, but it has been now replaced with a huge dose of negativity. Negativity is EXTREMELY CONTAGIOUS - like a flu or cold, if you spend time with someone who is sick, you too will become sick.

Above average people _give energy_ to others! Obviously then, I call these people _Energy Givers_. Energy-Givers have an others-first mentality. They look for opportunities to do more than their share and leave their environment better than they found it. Energy-Givers bring contagious positive energy that affects others around them. People are often happier around energy givers. This is because just like the negative energy that energy-takers infect people with, **positive energy is also very contagious**. As a result, people are often drawn to energy givers. Energy givers are world changers. **People won't remember what you said, but people will remember how you made them feel - energy givers get remembered.**

Years later, not many of my students will have remembered a single curriculum-based lesson that I taught. Not one has mentioned the amazing activating strategies I used when presenting the levels of industry. But what students do remember is the environment that was created within the classroom - students have **felt** valued, heard and respected. And they will remember those feelings for the rest of their lives. Those feelings of value and respect will be paid forward to others they meet as well. Just like dropping a rock into a lake, the ripple effect that energy-givers bring to others will go further than anyone can imagine. The legacy of an energy-giver lives on forever.

I like to call average people "energy yo-yo's". _Just like a yo-yo, the energy of average people goes up and down, up and down_ depending on their environment or circumstance. With an energy-yoyo, you never know who is going to show up - it could be the really happy, cheery friend who is smiley and talkative because it's a warm sunny day and they finished their homework, or it could be the grumpy version of your friend because it started raining this morning and it's slightly colder than normal. **The energy yo-yo is very inconsistent** , forever going up and down, depending on what outside circumstance is currently dictating how they should feel and act.

Average people - or about 80% of the population - do what is asked of them - they meet expectations - but they do nothing more. THEY DO NOT CHANGE THE WORLD. They fit in and get comfortable with their surroundings. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing inherently wrong with being average. However, average people aren't influencers or inspirers.

Average people are also greatly impacted by the environment that energy-givers and energy-takers create. They will follow the group that has more control and power. As a teacher, I put most of my focus on the energy-givers because I knew that if they have more control and influence than the energy-takers, the middle 80% - the average - will follow them. Conversely, if the energy-takers have more control and influence, the average will follow them. That is why some classrooms have a toxic environment - the energy-takers have pulled the middle 80% to complain, get distracted, talk loudly, etc. I have seen the exact set of students go into a different environment, but then suddenly, the environment has changed to something way more positive and inviting than it was the period before. This is because the energy-givers are "winning" the battle this time. As a leader, I make it a priority to cultivate the optimal environment for energy-givers to succeed.

What I have realized is that you get to choose whatever person it is that you want to be. Notice the energy-giver does not have a special talent that makes them above average or the top 10%. **Being an energy-giver is a deliberate approach and choice on how we choose to respond to specific situations and circumstances and how we choose to live every day.** Being disciplined or taking the path of least resistance is always a choice we get to make.

To be completely honest though, being an energy-taker or an energy yo-yo is definitely an easier approach and lifestyle because there aren't any expectations and actions that need to be **practiced on purpose**. You get to respond to a situation or stimuli as a reflex - without any purposeful thought. For example, if you want to complain because it is raining, you can because complaining and focusing on the negative is a natural reaction for most people. If you want to chase excellence however, instead of complaining about the weather, you need to stop, catch yourself in the act, and not say a word. Then, once silence becomes an easy alternative to complaining, you can completely change the angle of response by 180 degrees by saying a positive word instead - "I am happy I have a vehicle that keeps me dry! I am happy I remembered my umbrella! I am happy it's raining so that farmers' crops will grow!" **Search for the positive** , and you too can be an energy-giver. You too can be a difference-maker. You too can be a world-changer.

The name of this seed is "Who do you want to be?" It really is that simple. Once people are informed of the 10/80/10 principle, I believe acting on it is _simply a choice_. **Choosing excellence takes deliberate focus and work. It requires you to begin each day by planning how you will make the day better for others.** I remember, as a school teacher, near the start of my planning journey, I walked past a small granola bar wrapper lying in the hallway. My natural response is to walk past the wrapper, maybe shake my head, and begin some inner dialogue about how messy and ungrateful teenagers are. But I wouldn't pick up the wrapper! However, I remember stopping this particular time, picking up the wrapper, and carrying it to the trash bin. My actions weren't some cataclysmic, life-altering move, but it did start me on my journey to purposeful, deliberate thoughts and actions that would move me into the realm of the top 10%.

Be a world-changer and a difference-maker! Why would you choose differently if given the choice? You can begin today by DECIDING to become an energy-giver NOW. Imagine if your classroom, your circle of friends, your family, were so influenced by you, that they all became energy-givers simply because of YOUR decision to get better than yesterday. Interacting constantly with energy-givers is a beautiful thing because happiness and positivity will abound. I hope you decide to enjoy the rewards of this tool. I know I have.

# Get 1% Better Every Day

The principle is, that by getting just 1% better each day, you give yourself the ability and opportunity to completely change your life and catapult you to highs you never thought possible! Mathematically speaking, **you will actually get** 37 times better **by the end of the year** if you focused on getting better just 1% each day. Getting 1% better each day means you need to focus on small improvements and better decisions - always deliberately choosing to improve upon the previous day.

The reason why roughly 80% of all New Year's resolutions fail within the first few weeks is because people often plan changes that are far too big to realistically perform on a long term basis. Let's use an example to back up my point: nutrition and fitness goals are two of the most frequently visited categories when making a lifestyle change or goal - particularly at the start of the year after the holidays have pushed us to eat far more than we had planned. At the start of January, countless people purchase gym memberships and even hire personal trainers to help them towards their new goals. This is a fine strategy, but it's the commitment to the plan that often fails.

People may plan to workout vigorously 45 minutes a day, 5 times per week, or lose 20 pounds on an extensive and maybe dangerous nutrition and fitness plan. In other words, people want results, and they want the results NOW! In a microwave society, where people want instantaneous results, patience is the key to success. People will often execute new changes with vigor and excitement as they anticipate huge changes at the start - however, willpower and motivation often die soon after. We cannot simply rely on willpower and motivation to be successful. We need to adjust our lifestyle slowly to make changes.

That is why 1% changes - slow, purposeful and meaningful changes - are the best. Here are the dramatic results that can happen with a few small changes each day:

• _A commitment made to get 1% better every day for 100 days would mean getting 2.7 times better than you are now._

• _A commitment made to get 1% better every day for 200 days would mean getting 7 times better than you are now._

• _A commitment made to get 1% better every day for 300 days would mean getting 20 times better than you are now._

• _A commitment made to get 1% better every day for 365 days would mean getting 37 times better than you are now!!_

The difference between a small commitment (100 days) and a relentless mentality to get better (365 days) is staggering! The extra 265 days of commitment will get you 34 times better than you are now. When I first heard the concept of 37 times \- I never forgot it. I needed to pursue it. The changes I could make to myself with just small gains in continuous improvement were just too great to ignore.

As you can see by the numbers, continuous improvement is not always immediately visible in the short term. Using the same calculations above, after 20 days of continuous improvement, a person would be 0.2 times better. However, as time goes on, the improvements begin to build upon the last, then suddenly, the people who are choosing to make better decisions are far ahead of the rest.

What's scary though, is that the same principle has a negative mirror image. That is to say, if a person was to make 1% worse decisions every day, they would follow the same path but negatively: after 365 days of progressively bad decisions, a person may become 37 times worse than they were at the start of the year! Simply put, a few positive decisions, built on one another each day, will lead to success and greatness; whereas a few simple negative decisions, built upon one another each day, will lead to misery, heartache, and failure. What's most dramatic is that if you take the difference between 365 days of relentless pursuit of excellence and 365 days of negative decisions, you have a difference of 74 times! It's staggering to think just how simply we can go from negative, to average, to great.

Examples of Small Wins or Changes to Chase 1% Improvements:

• _If you don't make your bed right now, start by making your bed just once per week_

• _Getting up 5 minutes earlier so you aren't rushing to school_

• _Flossing your teeth once a week_

• _Replacing your soda or sugary drink with a glass of water just once a day_

• _Using the stairs instead of an escalator_

• _Give a friend or family member a daily compliment or celebration_

• _Read 5 minutes every night_

• _Journal for 5 minutes every night_

• _Do 5 pushups every day_

• _Saying "no" to a social event, so you can work out, meditate, or study_

Obviously, the key to succeeding at small wins or changes is to start really small. So small in fact, that you would laugh at yourself if you couldn't complete the task. That is why the above examples are mostly simple, small, easy changes. They are not time consuming. They do not take ridiculous amounts of will-power either.

Once the small change becomes a habit, you can begin to slowly dial up the intensity to continue added progression and growth. For example, in January of 2018, I decided that I wanted to get up at 5AM instead of 6AM, and make this a regular habit. I didn't just immediately start getting up at 5AM on January 1st because if I did, the change would have been too drastic for me to adhere to - willpower will only last for so long. Perhaps that sheer willpower and dedication would have got me to last a week, or maybe two, but I can tell you with 100% certainty, the change wouldn't have lasted to create a new habit. I would have eventually burned out once my willpower tank was empty.

Instead, I decided I would begin to wake up 5 minutes earlier in January - 5:55 AM. Surely I could habitually wake up 5 minutes earlier than I normally do! And guess what! It was an easy win. After January, I began to turn up the dial slowly \- I woke up 5 minutes earlier in February- 5:50. And this cycle continued until the end of the year. In December, I was waking up at 5AM with no problems whatsoever. The change was a slow and steady process. Patience is vital to success!

The same can be said about the examples outlined above. After making your bed once a week becomes easy, you can make your bed two times per week and so on. Once replacing one soda per day becomes easy, you replace two sodas per day.

I like to use months as the indicator for a switch. I find that 30 days of persistently adhering to a small change is enough for it to become a habit. Therefore, using the making your bed example, by July, you would be making your bed every day. Yes, seven months is a quite a while to make that change, but it's worth it because there is a much higher chance you will adhere to your new habit than immediately trying to change everything all at once. **Another way of getting better every day is to do more of what is making you better already.** Simply put, if you do something well, do more! **Here are a few easy examples:**

• _Say thank you more often_

• _Compliment others more often_

• _Encourage others more often_

• _Find creative ways to do more than your share - more than expected or required_

• _Arrive to school and class early_

• _10 morning pushups instead of 5_

• _Studying an extra 5 or ten minutes_

**In other words, actively practicing your successes on a larger and more consistent scale is a way to get 1% better.** Right now, you may have an excellent habit of being thankful - always expressing gratitude when it is expected; such as when someone opens a door for you, when making a purchase at a store, when pulling into a "we-serve" fuel station, and the obvious, when receiving a gift. The way to grow would be to seek out opportunities to express your gratitude that you may not of otherwise have thought about; such as thanking your parents for buying groceries and making your lunch and dinner, thanking your teacher for teaching a fun and engaging lesson, and thanking your friends for being loyal and always having your back. The opportunities to express extra gratitude are endless. When I was a teacher, I made it a routine of mine to thank each student specifically for what they brought to the classroom environment. I remember thanking students for bringing positive energy, for helping others, for smiling, for working diligently, and for consciously making better decisions to improve. Spend time each day looking for spots to thank someone - practice more of what already makes you successful!

Actively search for small wins and chances to practice your successes every day. This tool will get you to the summit of personal excellence. Even though the process is longer, I promise, you will eventually surpass those who sprinted at the start because most likely, they won't even be in the race anymore.

# Pareto Principle - AKA "80/20 Rule"

In the late 1800's, while tending to his garden, Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto observed that roughly 20% of his pea pods produced about 80 % of his peas. In other words, 20% of actions create 80% of the results. As an inquisitive and mathematical mind, he wanted to know if such a disproportionate ratio applied to other parts of life. As a result, he began to study the landowners in Italy.

After much research, he concluded that roughly 20% of the Italian population owned 80% of the land! Countless other examples in today's world also apply to this principle - that is, 20% of an input will get 80% of an output. In the NBA, roughly 20% of its teams have won 80% of its total championships. Roughly 20% of the world's population own 80% of the world's wealth. In 2002, Windows reported that roughly 80% of all systems crashes were the result of about 20% of all viruses. In business, 80% of complaints come from 20% of customers.

When I was a teacher, during a staff meeting, the principal passed out a report on student behavior within the school. To my surprise, 20% of the student population caused 80% of the behavior incidences within the school. Being intrigued by the Pareto principle further, I began to study other parts of behavior within the school, and noticed the following trends (although I do not have specific data to back these claims up, these are general observations): about 20% of my students asked 80% of the total questions in a lesson, teachers spent 80% of their classroom time helping 20% of their students in a one-on-one setting, and finally, about 20% of curriculum creates 80% of impactful and meaningful learning.

So, how can you begin to use the Pareto Principle in everyday life to get better than yesterday? Here are few examples:

• Use 20% of your time to complete 80% of your tasks \- in other words, make time each day to work REALLY HARD. If you sleep for 8 hours, that leaves you with 16 hours each day to get better and accomplish tasks and goals. 20% of 16 hours is 192 minutes; or 3 hours and 12 minutes. Bottom line: do not let a day go by without using some time to work harder than most.

• Use 80% of your day to get better - this could include going to work and involving yourself with uncommon levels of hustle, working out, reading, writing, listening to podcasts, spending quality, face-to-face time with friends and loved ones, etc. Limit your day to 20% of relaxing, such as watching TV, spending time on your phone, computer, video games, etc. Devote most of your day to getting better.

• 80% of all food you eat is nutritious and "clean" that serve a specific purpose for your body. Examples include fish and chicken breast for protein, sweet potatoes and whole grains for fuel, and healthy fats such as avocados, nuts, seeds, and olive oil for overall health. The other 20% can be "cheat" or "comfort" foods; such as sweets and chocolate.

• 80% of the time on your phone may be spent procrastinating and wasting time. If you use your phone for only necessities and occasional recreation, you may be able to function just as well by only using it at 20% of the time you do now. This could save you money and hours each day.

Applying the Pareto Principle to your schedule and day-to-day life is a simple, yet highly effective way to change poor time management skills and bad habits into a strong foundation of purpose and growth.

As a student, where can you apply the Pareto Principle NOW? The improvement of your grades, personal goals, relationships, and friendships depend on this critical decision being applied today. I challenge you...Implement ONE Pareto Principle to your life today. Let me warn you though, before you make your decision... **below average students** will not apply anything, close the book now, forget the principle, and move on with the rest of their day; **average students** will procrastinate, and maybe apply a principle tomorrow or the next day, then stop acting on the principle when life gets busy; but **above-average students** , the top achievers, will take purposeful time NOW, decide on a best-fit area of need to apply the principle today, and commit to acting on the principle each day following, even when life gets busy and life says it's too inconvenient.

# Forgive

Having unforgiveness in your heart will slowly poison your body, mind and soul. Marianne Williamson, a renowned American spiritual teacher has said, "Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die."

The best thing to do is to forgive - and forgive that person who wronged you as soon as possible - maybe even right now! Let's be clear though, forgiveness does not mean becoming friends with or allowing a person or people back into our life. There is a reason why we have decided not to forgive someone \- probably because they have substantially hurt us or voided our trust in a huge way. **Forgiveness does mean though, that you have CHOSEN to let the hurt go.** Let me give you an example of the powerful, restorative, and life-altering changes that forgiveness can have.

After battling Pulmonary Fibrosis for about a year, my father passed away in 2015, at the age of 74. In many ways my father was my best friend - he was a person I could talk to about anything. If I had a problem to work through or needed support in any way, he was often the first person I would want to talk with. He also sacrificed his time to help his family more than any person I have ever met. Regardless of inconvenience, he was willing to help out in any way possible. I truly believe I was blessed with the best father in the world.

My father entrusted me to be the Executor of his Will and Estate when he passed away - a responsibility I took with a huge amount of pride and honor. I was expecting the process to be very smooth, as I and my four brothers had a very positive relationship with his wife (not our biological mother). However, much to our surprise, circumstances changed very quickly. His wife soon contested the Estate and hired a lawyer to complicate the matter even more so.

After roughly a year of negotiating, my brothers and I settled with her - she took roughly 60% of our inheritance, and divided up our father's ashes between herself and us (by the way, this was against his wishes, he wanted to have his ashes spread in Calgary, Alberta). She then purchased a very cheap and poorly located spot at a local mausoleum to house his ashes and designed a display to honor his life with no mention of his kids, grandchildren or family. As a final stab of betrayal, she put together a ceremony for him at the mausoleum - which neither I, my brothers, or our families were invited to attend. However, we did receive a DVD of the ceremony, to which I have never watched.

Needless to say, the entire process of negotiating with her and being betrayed time and time again, created a wave of hurt and anger inside of me at a level which I have never experienced. My immediate response to her words and actions was to get revenge! Thoughts of meeting her in a store by chance or calling her on the phone to tell her off consumed my thoughts, day after day.

What I didn't realize at the time was, the more I thought about her, the angrier I got. This created a situation where I was **allowing her** to make me angry, frustrated, and hurt almost every day. Simply put, I was choosing to give her the power to hurt me and wreck my days - over and over again. That's what unforgiveness is: it is the act of giving away your power to someone because of past hurt - continual reflection of past hurt is the poison that you drink.

Oftentimes, the person who hurt you has probably long forgotten about their hurtful actions or words - intentional or not - and have moved on with their lives. Meanwhile, the person who was hurt and rejected will take the pain with them **until they DECIDE to forgive.**

I remember driving home from work one day, thinking and reflecting once again, about the hurt and pain that she put into my life. But suddenly, this time, I realized **if I wanted the pain to stop, if I wanted to take my power back from her, I needed to forgive her immediately.** And that's what I did. I made a conscious decision to no longer allow her to control my emotions. I took my power back! Was choosing to forgive her difficult? Yes! But I knew if I wanted to move on, it was the only way.

Today, I am completely set free from my pain and anger. The only reason that I think of her now is when I use this story as a tool to help others. Her actions of destruction, bitterness, and deceit have been turned upside-down and used for good. I am convinced 100% the reason that I am able to do this now is because I chose to forgive her. I chose to let the pain go.

In the same way, who can you forgive today? Who is holding power over you? Who is causing you pain because of words or actions that were said days, weeks, months, or even years ago? As a teenager, it could be a parent who has rejected you and left your family. It could be a friend who has lied about you or violated your trust. Whatever it may be, I challenge you to **make the tough decision to forgive, because it is the only antidote to the poison that will kill your soul. Forgiveness will set you free!**

# Get Uncomfortable

I know it sounds counterintuitive and unconventional, but find a way to get out of your comfort zone today and every day. I have learned that life begins where our comfort zone ends. When we deliberately find a way to get uncomfortable, we allow ourselves to grow, get better, and experience new things - comfort equals mediocrity and stagnation, while uncomfortable means above-average, change, and progress. Just like the more you stretch a rubber band, the further it goes, the more your stretch yourself, the further you will go.

At the beginning of my teaching career, I applied for a teaching position that had at least a hundred applicants. All things being equal, the odds of getting an interview were incredibly low. What made things even worse is that I did not know a soul in the school division I was applying to (knowing people in the teaching world is often a huge advantage in separating yourself from the applicant to interview stage). I needed to do something different if I wanted to get noticed from the sea of very qualified applicants. I needed to do something unconventional. I needed to get out of my comfort zone so that I could stand out from the rest.

By nature, I am an introvert - I would rather stay quiet within the safe walls of my comfort zone whenever and wherever possible, than speaking with people I have never met. So, driving to the school to meet with the principal "cold" was a huge stretch for me. Luckily the principal was in, and was able to meet with me upon my arrival. I told him that I was applying for the teaching position he had posted and wanted to meet with him first so I could get an idea of the school culture first-hand. I could tell that he was quite impressed that I was willing to drive 45 minutes out-of-town to meet with him. The meeting only lasted about 10 minutes, but I knew I had left an impression. That same evening, he called me, inviting me for an interview. I got the position days later!

Driving to "cold" meet the principal of the school I was applying to is still one of the most uncomfortable things I have ever purposefully done. I still often reflect on this time and can't believe I actually did it! The pay-off though, was huge! I managed to secure a position in an incredibly tough teaching market. That position eventually propelled me to several opportunities throughout the division and many others throughout southern Manitoba. I give credit to my teaching career beginning the way it did because I was willing to get uncomfortable.

Getting uncomfortable has two distinct levels that are really important to identify before you progress any further. Consider the image of a target with three rings - the inner ring or "bulls-eye" is our comfort zone. The next ring is "out of our comfort zone" or "level 1" discomfort. The outer third ring is the "panic zone" or "level 2" discomfort.

Being in your panic zone means that your level of discomfort or "uncomfortableness "is far too high, and quite frankly, unnecessary and detrimental to your mental health and progress. As a Physical Education teacher by trade, accepting a position teaching Chemistry or Physics would have put me in my panic zone. I would no doubt be freaking out the evenings before school trying frantically to put a lesson together on a subject that I am very unqualified to teach. Obviously then, my students would suffer as well. Me accepting such a position - a panic level position - would not only hurt myself, but it would also limit the learning of my students. The panic zone is a lose-lose proposition.

I remember applying for a teaching position that made me uncomfortable - the same grade 6/7 homeroom teaching position that I had mentioned earlier in the introduction that had severely challenging behavior problems. I knew I could perform the position at a very high level, but because of the issues I knew I would encounter with student behavior, naturally, I would experience of a lot of discomfort as I navigated the position. In the end, I accepted the position, and it eventually became one of my most rewarding and satisfying positions of my career because **the challenge required me to get better**. If I was set on mediocrity and allowing the discomfort to consume and control me, I would have no doubt taken the same path as their previous teacher - quit after two weeks on the job. The only difference between her and I was that I chose to get better by putting myself in a challenging environment. She was more content to find an environment within her comfort zone. As a result, I got better and she didn't. I hope she is enjoying her comfortable life. She missed an amazing opportunity to impact others.

How can you better yourself by getting out of your comfort zone? Can you enroll in more challenging courses that will force you to get better by practicing better study habits? Can you speak more in class during discussions that will force you to grow in your assertiveness and communication? Can you be more direct and honest with your family and friends? Can you work harder in class and at home? Stretch yourself, just like a rubber band, and you will be amazed at how far you can travel.

# Contribute vs Contaminate

Always contribute!

I believe that in any situation, you are either contributing to the success of the environment, or you are a contamination to the success that your environment is trying to achieve. To contaminate means to poison. In other words, **if you are not making your environment better, you are making it worse.** There is no middle ground. It is impossible to stay neutral.

If I had a student who was sitting quietly at their desk, not doing his or her work, I would approach them and simply ask, "right now, are you contributing or contaminating?" Before I taught my students this seed, most students would reply that they are doing neither, but instead, are being neutral, neither contributing to the environment nor really making the environment worse either. Yes, they are not doing their work, but they are not being a distraction to others. To their knowledge, their actions are neutral. Being in the middle doesn't exist. I would tell the student that I am trying to create an environment of hard work and learning. Then I would ask, "Are you contributing or contaminating to the environment of hard work and learning?" Usually this question would make them realize that even though they are not distracting others, they are not contributing to the environment of learning because they are not doing their work. They are contaminating.

When you enter a classroom, a work environment, your home, or a circle of friends hanging out and talking; you being there - **your presence - will ultimately make the environment better because you are there or worse because you are there.** Period.

When you enter a work environment your employer expects you to work hard, be polite, and show respect. If you continually choose the path of least resistance and try to finish your shift by doing the least amount of work possible with the least amount of hustle possible just to avoid getting fired so you can keep your job to work the next day, you are poisoning the environment of a strong work ethic that your employer wants to foster. Your work environment is worse because you work there.

However, if you arrive to work early, while consistently demonstrating uncommon levels of hustle and respect, you are making the environment better. Your work environment is better because of your presence. Your employer will notice. Guaranteed.

If you approach a group of your friends talking and laughing in the school hallway with a negative attitude and spirit, you will make everyone else feel worse because suddenly the positivity and laughter will be gone. You have chosen to inform others of your negativity at the expense of their happiness and laughter. The dynamic of the group is now worse because of your presence. If you are negative, if you are going to contaminate the environment of others, stay away next time. Do not bring others down to your level of negativity. Next time you walk into your school, keep this principle in mind - **you will either make the school a better place or a worse place** every time you enter **. The choice is** always **yours:**

• Will you make the day of your teacher more enjoyable for him/her or will you make him/her wish you would have missed your bus?

• Will you make the day better for a student who sits quietly alone in the corner of the classroom or will you make it worse by continuing to ignore him/her?

• Will you make the day better for the custodian by cleaning up after yourself _and others_ or will you make it more difficult for him/her by littering in the hallways or by being "neutral" and stepping over a piece of trash in the cafeteria?

• Will you make the day better for your best friend by complimenting him/her and being a source of encouragement and inspiration or will you make their day worse by complaining and/or being a negative influence by suggesting that they skip class with you?

Being neutral is not helpful. Being neutral is selfish. A neutral person only thinks about themselves. Therefore, being neutral is toxic. It's poisonous. It's contamination.

Using the example above, if you have a fellow student in your class who sits alone and is mostly ignored by others, you need to talk to them, compliment them, and make them feel valued. NOW! If you fail to do these things by continuing to ignore him/her like the rest - by being neutral - you too, are making their day worse because ignorance is just as hurtful as direct harm, sometimes even worse depending who you ask. You don't need to be the energy-taker to make it worse - the person who makes fun of them and insults their loneliness and isolation. Neutral people are contaminators too. If you want to be impactful, if you want your school to be a better environment because you are there, because you chose to attend school that day, then you need to actively seek out opportunities to always contribute.

Being a contributor is very selfless. It requires you to put your needs to the side, and place the needs of others as the top priority. Truthfully and directly speaking, teenagers are notorious for being selfish - for only thinking of themselves. **Will you be different?** Will you be the one to stand out? Will you be the top 10%? Neutral people are 80% of your school. Direct contaminators are the bottom 10%. **Your school needs you.** There are other students, teachers, custodians, parents, and administrators who can benefit tomorrow because of a mindset change that IS YOUR CHOICE. Leave a positive legacy. Be an active contributor. **You have the ability to impact others in a way so powerful, that you can change lives forever.**

# Practice Daily Gratitude

The opposite of being thankful is to complain. When I thought of the titles for my "seeds" for this book, I intentionally worded them positively, being mindful to stay away from using "don't rules".

I never use "don't rules". Why? Because **negativity breeds negativity**. I remember being in a classroom as a high school student, and being reminded constantly of the things that I could not do - the "don't" rules of the classroom and school. These rules made school seemed like a prison. The "don't" rules were so obvious too - like don't talk when the teacher is talking, or don't use bad language. Why did we even need them? As a teacher, even though I don't post rules of any kind, if I were to, they would be WHAT YOU SHOULD DO – what **POSITIVE ENERGY** feels like and sounds like. In other words, **positivity breeds positivity.**

This principle is a perfect example of wording something so that it creates positive energy. I could have said, "Don't complain" as the title of the principle, but instead, I intentionally used the opposite of complaining - "be thankful - practice gratitude". Practicing gratitude is what you should do! So, let's focus on the positive.

Much like having unforgiveness in your heart, complaining is just as toxic and poisonous to your spirit. Habitual complaining not only brings poison upon you, but to those who are forced to hear it as well. So next time you feel like complaining because it's raining, or because it's cold outside, or because you have to deal with an 80-minute first period that you aren't fond of, immediately change your thinking into a mindset and heart of gratitude **. The moment you begin to express gratitude, your spirit of complaining, negativity, and/or** depression and anxiety **will melt away.** It is physiologically impossible for your body to be thankful and stressed at the same time!

Yes you have to go to school and take courses you hate with teachers you don't acknowledge you - but **be thankful** you have a free education system that provides extremely qualified teachers to help build a foundation of knowledge and mental toughness when as many as 58 MILLION children worldwide do not have access to education. Yes your best friend cancelled you on at the last minute - but **be thankful** you had transportation and money available to go out in the first place when millions of children around the world are forced to work in child labour facilities that pay pennies per day. I used to tell my basketball players that they should be thankful that they have strong and able bodies that allow them to work hard, sweat, and get physically better at the game, rather than complain that they have to wait a little extra for a water break or run those extra suicides. It's a simple mindset shift - **you need to look at the positive of every situation, even when the negative seems so much easier to focus on.**

I find it most fulfilling to start and end my day with gratitude. That way I am starting and ending each day positively reinforcing the aspects of my life that are good and worthy of thanks. No detail can be too small when expressing gratitude either. Sometimes, it's the small things that are the most important to celebrate. Life, loved ones, a job to go to, a school in which to study, food to eat, a warm house, and clothes to wear, are often ignored because we take them for granted, when in reality, billions of people around the world aren't blessed with such things.

I spent an entire year beginning my classes with expressing gratitude as the first thing we did - even before we opened our books. By doing this, I was teaching and showing my students that gratitude was more important than curriculum. Before curriculum and study could begin, it is important for us to be positive, happy, and thankful; this allowed for an optimal and positive learning environment. Having students reflect on gratitude caused them to smile and laugh, which allowed them to learn curriculum more readily and efficiently

I remember waking up one morning in Winnipeg, and looking at my phone to see that the current temperature was -44 degree Celsius, with the wind-chill. My old self would have immediately wanted to complain about the extreme cold, but instead, I found a way to give gratitude that morning - I was thankful for my remote start and my Jeep Cherokee, because my drive to work would be nice and warm, in my heated seats and brand new winter jacket. Yes, it was cold outside, but suddenly by expressing gratitude, the harsh Manitoba winter didn't seem as cold anymore. In fact, I was never so happy to jump in my warm vehicle waiting for me outside!

My earlier instinct, reinforced over several years of complaining, would have been to begin my day negatively with a complaint because of the cold weather. **When you begin your day with a complaint, you are beginning your day with a poisonous dose of negativity.** I have learned to never complain or focus on things you cannot control - the "uncontrollables". If I can control a situation with extra work or better decisions, then I will react accordingly.

The weather is an obvious example of something you can't control - other examples include a mechanical problem with your car, construction creating traffic delays, a course needed for graduation, and the attitudes and actions of other people. It's a mental waste of time to poison yourself with negativity and complaining about things you have no control over (more on this in the next principle). You may as well practice gratitude and be thankful!

My recommendation: spend one or two minutes in the morning and **speak,** out loud **, 5 things you are thankful for.** It may be difficult at first, but look around, note the small things, and you'll get there. Remember, nothing is too small to be thankful for! It is often the things that we take for granted the most that we should be thankful for the most. Then at night, just before bed, speak out-loud, **5 things that you are thankful for about the day you just had - what went well? What made you smile? What made you laugh?** This exercise is extremely powerful. Speak gratitude + stop complaining = excellence.

# Take Your Control Back

One of my favorite exercises to do with my students is to ask them to write about their perfect day at school. I would give them about twenty minutes to half an hour to write a detailed, event-filled day at school that would cause them run home, and tell their parents how awesome the day was. The day would have to be realistic - meaning, they would still have to attend class and do the work required of them as a responsible student. Other than that however, the perfect day was up to them. (Before reading on, I encourage you to write about your perfect day as well).

Many of the stories about their perfect day were predictable - the weather was gorgeous, people complimented them and were excited to see them when they arrived at school, they didn't get any homework, the lessons were engaging and fun, there was an early dismissal, they had a substitute teacher that didn't have a lot of control, the teacher forgot about their test, there was a movie being shown in their least favorite class, etc. I have to admit, those stories do contribute to a fairly awesome day at school! However, as great as that day sounds, as great as those events are, there is one significant problem with each of them...each of them rely on the decisions and actions of others. Each of the events mentioned above are out of our control.

You have no control over the weather. You have no control if others will compliment you or not. You have no control if a teacher assigns homework at the end of class. You have no control if a teacher plans a fun and engaging lesson. You have no control if your regular teacher will call in sick, potentially giving you an easy-going substitute. You have no control if an early dismissal is scheduled or not. You have no control if a teacher will show a movie in class. **USING THIS THINKING, YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER YOUR BEST DAY!! THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!** TAKE YOUR CONTROL BACK!

So what happens if you wake up and it's raining? Or snowing? Or cold? Or cloudy? Or windy? You can't have a good day now? Living in Canada, particularly on the prairies, where we get extreme weather during most the school year (very cold weather combined with snow), this would leave roughly 25% of our days being "gorgeous" (ie.warm and sunny). If weather is a part dictator of the perfect day, 75% of all school days are eliminated! We need to be in control of ourselves, and not rely on others or extenuating circumstances to control our happiness.

What do we have control over? **We have control over our thoughts, our attitude, our words, our actions, and our mindset.** If the weather doesn't match your version of "perfect", so what! Shift your mindset and your thoughts to the positive, just like how I did with being thankful for my warm Jeep and my new winter jacket.

Nobody complimented you on your new shirt or your new hair style today? That's too bad, but **letting the actions of others dictate your happiness is average and mediocre. Taking control of your day with POWERFUL THOUGHTS AND ACTION is what uncommon and above-average people do.** Instead of waiting for others to compliment you, compliment them! Tell them how happy you are to see them. Tell them about their amazing abilities and potential. Chances are, when you take leadership and compliment others, they will do the same to you. You will find that when you genuinely compliment somebody else, it feels better than if that person complimented you. Since **YOU** are in control of your actions, compliment as many people as you can, and you just may have the "perfect" day.

The lesson in Math wasn't engaging or fun? For the average student, their chances of a perfect day are gone - they have relied on the actions of others AND combined it with a negative mindset, by complaining about their boredom. For the above-average student, they complete their work (which you are in charge of and have complete control) then focus on the positive (which you also have complete control over) parts of class - the teacher helped you when you needed assistance, you helped your friend solve a problem, you sat next to and talked with the isolated student in the corner, etc.

The key to control and happiness is to not let the words and actions of others control your joy. When you allow others to control your joy, you give them complete power over your life. **If your best day relies heavily on the words and actions of others, you need to reimagine, and then re-write your best day.** Your new best day needs to be one where YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR HAPPINESS. Even if something negative happens, like somebody lied to you, your teacher got upset with you, your significant other broke up with you - you are still in charge of your thoughts, words, actions, and mindset. It is your choice if you are going to give those events power over you!

As you imagine your best day, remember you are ALWAYS IN CONTROL OF YOUR THOUGHTS, ACTIONS, ATTITUDE, WORDS, AND MINDSET; CONVERSELY, YOU ARE NEVER IN CONTROL OF OTHERS' THOUGHTS, ACTIONS, ATTITUDE, WORDS, AND MINDSET.

When you begin to focus on the things you can control, I promise, you will become much happier. It seems crazy to me the amount of power that we give others and outside circumstances over the health and happiness of our lives. **When you take your control back and combine it with daily gratitude, you will be unstoppable.**

Here are the examples I share with my students:

My perfect morning relying on the actions of others to make me happy:

"... _I would wake up full of energy ready to attack the day. When I walk out the door, the sky would be blue and the temperature would be 20 degrees, with a high of 25 - not too hot, not to cold either. My drive to work would be perfect - no slow moving cars or trains to deal with - only open road. I might even see a bald eagle or two and some deer in an open field playing. I would get to school at 730 still bursting with the same energy when I woke. I would attack my early morning workout with vigor and excitement- accomplishing personal bests in all of my exercises. Students would walk past the fitness room and become inspired, noticing their PE teacher already drenched in sweat before the first buzzer of the day._

The hallways would be buzzing with positivity and happiness. I would greet students and students would greet me with a 'good morning' or fist bump. The smoking section outside would be empty without a single trace of a cigarette butt. Students would be on time to each class, before announcements and 'Oh Canada', because they understand that what they do speaks so much louder than what they say.

I wouldn't need to remind my class to open their binders. I could walk in five minutes late, and they would be already following the instructions on the board, taking leadership into their own hands. Students would be focused and have high standards of their own work AND they would have high standards of the work of their peers because they understand that impactful people care more for others than they do themselves. Students would get uncomfortable in class, constantly seeking challenges and opportunities to get better. They understand that comfort equals coasting. The only time when something coasts is when it's going downhill.

As I enter the hallway during break time, I notice students giving deposits (I word I use for positive words and positive touch, taken from Dr. William Harley), doing their part to make others feel valued, welcome, and respected. Not one curse word can be heard. The words 'I can't' are never spoken. The words 'I don't care are never uttered. Sounds of laughing and thank you flood the hallways..."

And my perfect morning where I demonstrate complete control:

"... _I will wake up at 5 AM with a spirit of accomplishment and progress as I brush aside any lingering feelings of tiredness. I know that great people don't allow themselves to succumb to their feelings. I walk to my kitchen table, pour a cup of coffee, and begin to write in my book until 6. It is my choice to write 1000 words every morning. It's empowering to know that I am getting better while everyone else is sleeping. I have learned that there is no better feeling than starting the day with a task completed._

My drive may have slow cars in front of me, but it won't matter - I am listening to a podcast on leadership and excellence. A longer drive means more opportunity to learn. I choose to get to school before anyone else and workout because I know mental toughness leads to greatness. I may not lift more weight than last time, but grinding through another workout means I am more mentally tough than I was yesterday. Students may not be inspired by my actions, but my confidence increases because I have already accomplished a more difficult challenge before 9AM than most will complete in their entire day.

Students may be smoking, swearing, and talking negative, but I interrupt their conversations by giving them a fist bump and telling them how excited I am about the day ahead. As I walk into class, I focus on the positive - those students already sitting down and smiling. I choose not to focus on the people walking in late - lateness isn't worth my time or energy today. As class goes on, I focus on those who are making an effort \- those who do just enough to get by don't get a second thought from me. I don't understand that mindset, and I probably never will. During break time, instead of heading to the staffroom to isolate with adults, I stay in the hallway to laugh with and talk to my students - the reason I am here in the first place. My door is always open. I am here to help people get better. I spend most of my spare reading and watching leadership videos to model excellence, and just in case, I get the opportunity today to impart some wisdom for a student who may need an encouraging word..."

# Growth Mindset

Simply put...Fixed Mindset = I can't. **Growth Mindset = I can't YET.**

Essentially, a fixed mindset is a belief that people are inherently talented at something, while less talented people cannot change their abilities to improve or achieve greatness. I heard people with a fixed mindset regularly as a teacher - "Mr. Hansen, I'm just not good at Math" was an extremely common expression. The self-doubt that students had regarding their math abilities often resulted in them not studying (because what's the point? I'm not good at math anyway), and as a result, their learning and grades never reached their full potential.

Using the same math example, a student with a growth mindset wouldn't simply come to the conclusion that they aren't good at math and never will be; but instead, they understand that they aren't using the correct strategies to solve the problem, and over time, with enough training, will be able to solve any problem in the course. **Some students may have to train their brain more than others to achieve a goal or reach an outcome, but I believe,** _if somebody, anybody is capable of doing something, then the vast majority of the population is also capable._ Some people just may need more time or more practice to achieve the goal, but with enough training, perseverance, and diligence, the desired outcome is possible.

In my estimation, most people (most/majority = average) develop into a combination of a fixed and growth mindset, depending on the task or skill at hand. The reason I use the word "develop" is because when we were young and beginning to walk and talk as infants, we didn't give up after falling down or speaking gibberish. We were all born with a growth mindset! As infants, we simply just got back up and tried to walk again; or tried to mimic the sound of "mama" or "dada" without any thought of quitting. As infants we did not rationalize to ourselves that we should stop trying to walk and talk because we failed REPEATEDLY. We did not tell ourselves that we didn't have the ability to walk and talk. We didn't compare ourselves with the other toddlers at daycare. However, somewhere along the line, the belief of "can't" crept into our subconscious and many of us have held deeply onto those beliefs since they were first harbored within us.

As a teacher I am particularly intrigued at the mix of both mindsets that students will so often display. For example, I have encountered countless teenagers who have spent hours upon hours trying to get past a particular level in a video game they are playing - if their character fails or dies while trying to accomplish the level, they simply start over and try again...and again...and again, if necessary! Countless times I have heard students come to school in the morning absolutely exhausted because they have stayed up ALL NIGHT playing the game trying to accomplish their goal!

Rarely, if ever, for that matter, have I heard or spoken with a teenager who said they gave up on a video game because it was too difficult and their genetics just weren't developed or enhanced enough to beat that particular game! No! They would challenge themselves until they completed it! But, the same student, after literally 15 minutes of trying to multiply fractions, or trying to learn a jump shot in basketball, determine they aren't mathematically gifted or physically gifted enough and begin to shut down saying they will never "get it".

In my estimation, people tend to display a growth mindset when it comes to their passions because **passion fuels perseverance**. When surveying my students, most would acknowledge that they have at least one area in their life where they refuse to give up if they fail repeatedly.

I was the same with basketball when I was a teenager. I would arrive to my High School at 630 AM every day to practice in an empty gym - only to be cut from my team from 8th grade to 10th grade. Finally, in 11th grade, I made the team. I thought about giving up several times throughout those years, but my passion for basketball fueled my perseverance. Even though I failed and went through a lot of hurt in the process, I eventually accomplished my goal of playing Varsity basketball at the highest level in Manitoba

Academics however, were not my passion! As you can guess, I gave up rather easily on school work because I thought I was dumb and couldn't improve! Looking back, my mindset as a teenager was completely absurd! **How could I be willing to risk failure over and over in one area, and be so ready to quit in another?** It's because passion fuels perseverance. Conversely, if we are not passionate about something, we are more accepting of quitting the task if failure occurs; especially if failure occurs quickly.

Be honest with yourself and begin to investigate areas in which you possess a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset. To improve, it's essential that you attack your areas in which you possess a fixed mindset. Use the 1% better approach here: select just one area in which you are ready to change from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. Just being aware of an area that you can develop into a growth mindset is a starting point for success. Then, begin to plan and "catch yourself" when negative thoughts of quitting begin to occur. Replace those thoughts with thoughts of perseverance and growth. Once you are able to successfully change your thinking into a growth mindset in one area, begin to focus on another.

**Having a growth mindset in all areas of your life will truly separate you from the rest.** It's not just teenagers - many adults are crippled by the weight of a fixed mindset as well. I remember many times, during parent-teacher conferences, a parent would tell me how naturally bad they are at math - that they struggled with it during school, and it's no surprise that their child is now struggling too - their child too, does not have a "brain for math" they say. Having a parent tell me that their child could not accomplish something because they didn't have the capabilities is one of the saddest things I heard as a teacher. The fixed mindset of the parent was hindering the progress and learning of their child. Because of the negativity and power of opinion that a parent naturally holds over their child, the child will quite possibly never reach their full potential in that area. Do you have a parent who has put a fixed mindset over you?

**In a generation where others quit when success doesn't come naturally or easily, you have an opportunity to surpass the thinking and actions of others at almost every corner.** Yes, others may be more naturally gifted than you in some areas, but with enough study and hard work, you too can accomplish great things. **Don't let your mindset control your success.** If you are willing to put in the work, if you are willing to train your brain at the same level that Olympic athletes are willing to train their bodies, you will grow and succeed when others have quit long before. **If you are still progressing when others are quitting, your growth mindset will carry you to heights that those with a fixed mindset will never be able to reach.**

# Train Your Mental Toughness Daily

Mentally tough students are more successful than the rest. Period.

What is mental toughness? **Mental toughness is defeating challenges with a positive mindset - doing something in the moment that you don't want to do.** Most people will automatically take the path of least resistance and/or seek immediate gratification rather than working hard. Mentally tough students sacrifice immediate gratification for long term results.

For example, students who skip class are not mentally tough. Skipping class is seeking immediate gratification because being away from class and hanging out with friends feels better NOW than sitting for 80 minutes, dealing with a teacher and/or subject that you dislike. Always attending class however, no matter the teacher or subject, trains your mental toughness.

**Students who are mentally tough are constantly planning for the future. Students who are not mentally tough live for the moment only** \- they care about their happiness today, at the cost of their success tomorrow. Skipping class to hang out with friends, not studying for an exam to watch TV, and cutting corners on a major assignment are all examples of living in the moment - taking the easy road today without much care for the consequences of the future. Those who demonstrate CONSISTENCY in going to class, studying, and handing in high quality work are **sacrificing their NOW for their FUTURE.** The mental toughness they implement today will pay off dramatically tomorrow.

The good news is, mental toughness can be developed and trained, just like your bicep can. Instead of going to the gym to train, you can train your mental toughness throughout the day. School is often a fantastic place to train mental toughness. **You must be WILLING to purposefully and deliberately train your mental toughness by means of engaging in activities that ARE NOT FUN** \- You CANNOT sacrifice your future for your "now". Taking the path of least resistance can never be an option. When you engage in activities that make you mentally weak - skipping class, not studying, submitting sub-standard work - you will lose any progress that you have made. You need to consistently train your brain to become tough. NO WEAKNESS ALLOWED!

Ex-Navy Seal and "world's toughest athlete" David Goggins suggests, you must "embrace the suck" if you wish to gain mental toughness. Embracing the suck means **planning to do something that "sucks" every day.** Now, "embracing the suck" doesn't mean you have to do something dreadful, like eating a handful of bugs or running five miles at three in the morning - just like any other plan, you need to be realistic on what is going to bring you to success.

Embracing the suck means: having a 30-second segment of your morning shower be ice cold, never hitting the snooze button (my alarm app doesn't even have the option for a snooze), do 30 pushups immediately after waking, going to the class you hate with a positive mindset, studying for that test instead of going to a movie - In other words, practicing manageable activities that are challenging. Just like in the gym, you only get stronger when you lift heavier and heavier weight, your challenge needs to be difficult, but not so difficult you can't lift the weight and you fall flat on your face! Be realistic and manageable in your planning.

For mental toughness training to work, you need to have spotters help you accomplish your goals and to hold you accountable. You need spotters who are mentally stronger than you (more about this in a later chapter). **People who are mentally weak will sabotage your improvement and progress.** You will never meet your goals or arrive at your destiny by training with mentally weak people. Your environment is extremely critical.

My students often asked me how I am able to remain calm at all times. At the start of the year, I always promise my students that I will never yell at them. I take pride in knowing that my students notice that I am able to stay cool under pressure. **I have developed the ability to stay calm under pressure BECAUSE I TRAIN MY MENTAL TOUGNESS DAILY.** When others get upset, complain, feel nervous or anxious, and get angry, I am able to calmly respond in most situations. Let me tell you about my training...

On the first day I meet my students, the first time they see me, they usually notice that I am physically strong. I must have bigger muscles than most teachers because one of the first questions I am usually asked is, "Mr. Hansen, what do you bench?" Physical strength is easy to see. You don't need to lift anything to convince others of your strength - it's how you look. I tell my students I can bench around 300 pounds. **Mental strength, however, is only noticeable during a storm.** Little do my students know, I am much more mentally fit than physically fit. If I can bench press 300 pounds physically, I am sure I could bench press a 2000 pound storm with my mental toughness.

One of my favorite quotes is, _"Today I will do what others won't, so tomorrow I will do what others can't."_ I train my mental toughness every day by embracing the suck. **When I purposefully challenge myself with unpleasant things, I improve my mental toughness, so that when a storm comes, I am able to remain calm and lift the weight.**

How do I embrace the suck? I have two "go-to" areas: I am not a morning person, but I wake up every day before 6AM and spend the first hour of my day reading and writing (remember, I am not an academic person!). I also find a time every day to be physically active for at least one hour. I never let feelings of tiredness affect me either. Mental toughness is daily training. It's a grind.

The seed of mental toughness is very delicate and needs particular conditions to thrive, otherwise it will die. As a result, mental toughness training if often the seed that doesn't take root, even though it is one of the most vital seeds to your growth and development - perhaps the MOST important. The reason why the mental toughness seed is hard to plant is because **those who have weeds in their life** (mentally weak people with different goals and different ambitions than you) **are often unwilling to remove them** because people generally become deeply attached to weeds and will feel guilty about removing them, or may not think that the weed is actually choking the progress, life, and destiny out of them. But...you absolutely need to cut the weeds out of your life. YOU CANNOT grow into your full potential carrying them with you. You need to surround yourself with eagles.

# Soar With The Eagles

If you want to succeed, make a difference, have an impact on others, train mental toughness, and fulfill your destiny and purpose, YOU NEED TO SOAR WITH EAGLES.

When we envision an eagle in our mind, we picture a soaring bird, majestically and gracefully flying through the air. Eagles are often associated with words like power, conquer, leader, strong, tough, free, brave, and fearless. In fact, when eagles soar, **they actually fly above the storm.**

To be an eagle, you need to spend time with eagles. You've heard the saying, "birds of feather flock together" \- it couldn't hold any more truth and wisdom. In the same way, if you want to be a chicken, you should spend time with chickens. Chickens are the opposite of eagles. They can't fly. They aren't powerful. They aren't leaders or strong. They aren't free - they are kept in cages, rarely getting the opportunity to roam freely. Chickens aren't brave or fearless. They ARE weak. They are slow. They are easily conquered by any animal that wants to take it down. They can't soar above the storm, instead, they stay on the ground and take the full brunt of the storm, often falling victim to high winds, downpours, and lightning. A chicken is completely reliant on people to care for them.

If an eagle is born in a chicken coop, it will become a victim of its environment. All day long the eagle will see its friends walking aimlessly, eating chicken feed, then being sent back into the cage at night to repeat the process over again the next day. As a result, the eagle will think that it too, is a chicken. The eagle will never know what it is actually capable of. It will never know that it has the ability to soar and fly majestically. It won't matter what you were created to be and do because when you spend all of your time with chickens, you too, will act like a chicken - you won't know any better. You won't know what ability and potential is actually inside of you.

Are you an eagle stuck with a flock of chickens? In school, chickens take on many forms: they skip class, cut corners to do exactly what is necessary to pass a course and nothing more, don't study, quit and shut down during difficult times, speak negatively of you when you aren't around to protect yourself, are rude to staff, their parents, and other students, routinely argue and fight with one another, are satisfied with mediocrity - the words "good enough" can often be heard, don't have any goals for their future, continually take the path of least resistance at every opportunity, allow problems and storms to defeat them, hate challenges, complain at every opportunity possible, and spend most of their time doing shallow things that don't accomplish anything of true value; like spending hours scrolling through IG and Snap, playing videos games and binge watching Netflix. Chickens are obsessed with immediate gratification - they want to feel happy NOW, AT ANY COST. They are unaware that when you consume yourself with immediate gratification, your future will be compromised at every turn.

**Who you associate with is one of the most important decisions you will make as a teenager - perhaps the most important** decision. I have heard it said that up to 95% of your future success is dependent on those you associate with and relate to. **It doesn't matter that you have talent and abilities if you associate with those that can't fly.** You need to find other eagles! Unlike chickens, **eagles are willing to sacrifice immediate gratification to attain a brighter future. Eagles have powerful** _vision_ \- they can see their prey miles away. Just like in the wild with their large wing span and ability to soar, eagles at school are easy to spot because their differences to chickens make them stand out in a crowd: they are hard workers, they attend every class, they never cut corners - they will consistently put in maximum effort on all projects and assignments and rise above storms by actively seeking solutions - they realize that storms will eventually make them stronger, they build others up by encouraging them, they respect others, they continually challenge themselves to get better, develop, and grow, they have a clear plan for the future and are willing to execute the plan to accomplish their goals at all costs.

Think about your school. Think about your family and friends. I am willing to bet that the characteristics of an eagle are rare. The characteristics of an eagle will make you stand out from the crowd. Are you spending time with eagles? Or are you spending time with chickens? **If you want to accomplish great things, all that you were created to be, then you need to find some eagles!**

Begin to SOAR!

More thoughts on Environments.............

A flea can jump two hundred times its height. Obviously then, fleas are born with incredible genes to jump! I guess you could say that jumping is their talent.

When you put fleas into a jar, the fleas will immediately jump out because they want to be free and not stuck within the limiting confines of a jar. The ability for the fleas to jump out of the jar is instinctive - they just know that they can do it. There is something on the inside telling the flea that it is ABLE. However, if you put a lid on the same jar, the fleas will jump and bang their heads against the lid, over and over again, trying to escape like they had so easily done before. Finally however, after much struggle, the fleas will eventually give up trying to escape the jar, and will only jump so high as to avoid banging their head against the lid.

As time passes in the jar, the fleas will eventually reproduce, and more fleas will fill the jar. At this point, if you take the lid off the jar, an amazing thing begins to happen - the fleas do not jump out of the jar! They continue doing the same thing - only jumping so high as to not bang their head - as if the lid were still on the jar.

This behavior is fascinating because the newborn fleas do not try to escape the jar either. They have been preconditioned in their environment to think that jumping as high as the lid is their limit - the maximum level of their ability. Ever since they were born, that is the height that they have seen other fleas jump. They aren't aware that they have the ability to jump out of the jar. The actions of the other fleas - their environment - are telling the newborns that they simply can't jump that high, so they never try. The fleas will never experience the complete ability that they have in their genetic code. They will remain in the jar forever. The limitations of their environment eventually kills them, never having experienced freedom.

The same can be said about people and their environment. I had a student who had a dream of being a biologist or a writer. For years her friends and family had told her that being a writer wasn't a realistic dream to have. If she wanted to be successful, she would need to have a more "realistic" dream (kind of an oxymoron, isn't it?). The friends and family members who were telling her "no", that she needed to give up on being an author were like the fleas jumping only so high as to not hit their head on the lid. These people were putting a lid on her abilities. Thank goodness this particular student spoke back to her limitations, and said being told to find a realistic dream was not encouraging or helpful, and she refused to listen to it.

The next step in the process is to surround yourself with other dreamers - people who will support and encourage your dream, goals, and vision. When you surround yourself with positive people, the ability that you have to jump out of the jar will begin to develop. One of the most tragic circumstances is when talented people never live up to their full potential because the people in their environment said they couldn't.

Another analogy of finding your correct environment is that of an oak tree. When you plant an oak tree in a flower pot, the oak tree will never develop to its full potential because the flower pot confines the root system of the oak tree into a small space - the roots don't have space to take hold, spread, and grow. However, if you plant an oak tree in a field, it will grow to become a magnificent eighty foot, awe-inspiring masterpiece. All that changed was the environment of the SEED. The correct environment allowed the SEED to develop into its full potential.

**If you have high aspirations, dreams and goals, you need to make sure that you are not setting yourself within the limitations of a jar or a flower pot.** You cannot waste your time with fleas that have been pre-conditioned to think that they can only jump so high. "I'm going to fail", "I won't succeed", "This is too difficult", "I am not good at math", "I am not smart", "I am weak", are all favorite quotes of students that place limitations on themselves. If something doesn't come easy with immediate results, they will quit and try something new. You too will talk like this if you surround yourself in this environment at school.

**People can either build you up or tear you down.** There is no middle ground here, so don't be fooled by thinking your friends have no effect on you. **I have seen countless teenagers who had scores of talent, ability, and potential, only to waste it away by spending their time with negative procrastinators who settle with a "good enough" lifestyle and mentality.** Simply put, if you hang out with negative procrastinators with a common and mediocre lifestyle, you too will join them in that description. However, if you fill your inner circle with people that support you, encourage you, and build you up, you will gain their positive energy. This positive environment will catapult you forward.

If you want to chase excellence, you need to fill your inner circle with other dreamers who are positive, driven, and goal oriented. If you are fine with "settling" and are okay with allowing depression, negativity, complaining, and mediocrity into your life, then don't be selective with whom you allow in your circle. At the end of the day, **your environment will determine how much you grow. Your environment will determine if you are able to reach your potential and destiny.** I have still never seen an oak tree develop into its full potential in a flower pot, and I am sure I never will.

# Plan Each Day With Purpose

Having a plan for your day will bring you PURPOSE. **When you have a purpose, your self-esteem and confidence will increase.** In addition, having a plan will reduce stress and allow you to accomplish much more.

I have witnessed far too many of my students REACT to their day and the actions of their environments. If their friend becomes unfocused and talkative during class, they too will join the conversation and become unfocused as well. If their friends decide to go out for lunch, they too will leave school and go out for lunch. **When you don't have a plan for yourself, you become a FOLLOWER** \- you will fall victim to the whims and plans of others. Average students put very little thought into planning their day. **Above-average students know exactly what needs to get done every day, and will do whatever it takes to** EXECUTE **their plan.**

When I was a teenager in school, I was definitely average. I did not plan my day with priorities that mattered. The only thing I planned was basketball. I knew I would get to school for 6:30 AM to play, play again at 1st morning break for 15 minutes, then play again at lunch hour. Any other task - from studying, to homework, to helping others - did not get a single thought. Not surprisingly, my grades were a direct reflection of my poor planning - one semester I had a 49 average.

High school is a very stressful and anxiety-filled time in our lives. In addition to the academic pressures, stresses related to friendships, relationships, family issues, and part-time jobs all arise at the same time, creating an avalanche of work and pressure. Many begin to shut down, avoid, and hope somehow, things will just take care of themselves and get better. Unfortunately, this strategy leads to failure because things in real life just don't magically take care of themselves. **Things will only get better through an excellent work ethic, combined with an uncommon level of mental toughness.** The first step in the process is to **plan your tomorrow with PRECISION, then EXECUTE that plan.**

Begin your planning by using three categories prioritized by levels of importance. The highest level category I call _"Non-Negotiables"_. Simply put, **anything that I put into the non-negotiable category must be done, no excuses allowed!** They are of the highest priority, and there will be huge and immediate consequences if I do not complete these tasks. As a teacher and adult, examples might include a doctor's appointment, planning lessons for class, coaching an after-school practice, emailing a parent, cooking supper, writing 20 minutes per evening, and working out The list can go on and on, but you get the idea. If I miss a doctor's appointment, it may take me months to get an opportunity to go back. If I fail to plan lessons or fail to show up for a practice, I am not fulfilling the requirements of my job and may be at risk of getting fired. If I fail to write or workout, I plant the seeds of mediocrity in my life and fail to meet the high standards I have set for myself. These are all consequences that I am not willing to accept. Therefore, I need to accomplish all of my non-negotiables.

As a teenager and student, your non-negotiable list will look different than mine. It may include some of the following: studying for a unit test for two hours (notice the precision I am including with my plan by stating a time \- not just planning to "study"), work a 4 hour shift at a part-time job, go to basketball practice, babysit your younger brother or sister for the evening, cook supper for your family, fulfill a promise, help a friend who is dealing with trauma and hurt, etc. Remember, these items are of the highest priority - you should not have more than five items on this list - if you do, either your day will be too stressful and busy, or you have procrastinated so much in the past that work is beginning to pile up.

These events cannot be changed, and I (you) must fulfil them. They are of the highest priority. In addition, **I will always include self-care items in the non-negotiable list EVERY DAY. I will schedule a workout, read, walk my dog, watch TV, go for a bike ride, go to the mall - something where I get to relax and shut my brain off.** Yes, it may seem odd for a person seeking excellence to schedule watching TV as a non-negotiable, but what many disciplined and hardworking people forget is that **self-care is vital to success**. You can't "work" all day, or you will burn out. Just be careful with how much time you dedicate to self-care. This is where many people falter - particularly teenagers. Teenagers are often in the mindset of having fun at the expense of everything else. So when you plan self-care, be aware of TIME. In the evenings, I rarely plan more than 2 hours of self-care, unless I have accomplished everything else on my plan.

The next category or level, directly under non-negotiable is called, _"If-Time"_. This category is full of items that would be nice if they got done, but only if I have time and energy to complete them. They are not vital to the success of the day. There will be no immediate or harsh consequences if I fail to accomplish an "if-time" item. If I don't get these done, I'm not going to get stressed out or worry. I will only attack "if-time" items once all non-negotiable items have been completed in full, to the best of my ability.

For me, an "if-time" item is grocery shopping, doing laundry, vacuuming, cutting the grass, etc. As a teacher, it may be marking an assignment, planning lessons for the next week, or participating in an intramural program with my students. If these items don't get done, it's okay - it won't impact me at all today. Sure, it would be great if they did get done, but if they don't, **I am going to take satisfaction in focusing on the non-negotiables that I completed today. I have learned to always focus on the positive - celebrate what you have accomplished.** However, if I do leave these items too long, they may eventually creep up into the non-negotiable list. I don't want to have foot-long grass and my students won't want to wait two months to get an assignment back!

As a teenager and student, your "if-time" items may include the following: going out for lunch with your friends, working ahead on an assignment, and fulfilling any recreational opportunities that go past the two hours of self-care. I find that most teenagers have the non-negotiable and if-time categories backwards. Going to movies, parties, and other social events are nice, but rarely are they a non-negotiable item that would result in immediate and drastic consequences. Instead, these should only happen once all of your non-negotiables are complete in full.

The final category is called "stretches". Most of the time, it is a stretch that I will accomplish these - but identifying them is hugely important in getting them done at some point because as time passes, stretches will turn into if-time, which eventually turn into non-negotiables. **Proactive planning can hugely impact your productivity.**

Think of stretches as items that don't need to be done today, but will eventually need to be accomplished. At one point, painting my basement was a stretch in my day plan. I knew it would take me about 4 hours to complete. As days passed, I just didn't have time to set aside that amount of time to paint my basement. As more and more time passed though, the importance of painting my basement increased - eventually it landed on my non-negotiable list and I completed it on a Saturday morning.

The same thing was true about purchasing a basketball hoop for my driveway. I knew going to the store and assembling a hoop would take most of my day. In the summer, most of my days were occupied with travelling and coaching. I simply could not find a suitable amount of time to assemble a basketball net. But the simple act of writing it down each day reminded me that it was something I needed to accomplish. Eventually I got so tired of seeing it on my list, I used a two-day period in between travelling sessions to assemble the net. I am confident that had I not continually wrote out my plan to assemble the net, it would still be in the box at the store. **Planning equals motivation.**

Stretches for you may be cleaning your room, going shopping for new clothes, washing your car, or updating your resume. Remember, as time passes though, these stretches will eventually creep into the non-negotiable list...nobody wants a disgusting room or gross car.

Most people don't plan. They react. **If you begin to plan your day, THEN ACT ON YOUR PLAN WITH PRECISION, HARD WORK, AND DETERMINATION, you will become one of the most productive, efficient, and successful students in your school.** If you become one of the most productive, efficient, and successful students in your school, you will have the opportunity to potentially receive thousands of dollars' worth of scholarships. **Often the difference between mediocrity and success are little decisions made each day. As said before, planning will take between 5 and 10 minutes of your day. Are you willing to sacrifice that time for incredible benefits in the future?**

When you plan and prioritize your day, you accomplish tasks at an incredibly higher rate than those who don't. Efficiency grows. Procrastination will stop. Progress will begin. As progress begins, actions will snowball and accumulate results very quickly. After I plan my day the night before, I will take a picture of the plan and set it as my background on my phone, so I am reminded of it as often as I look at my phone. I want to be reminded of my plan constantly. What's cool is that as the day progresses, and I accomplish "non-negotiables", I am reminded of my successes each time I look at my phone! When the day is over, and you **actually see your completed list, your self-esteem and confidence will increase because self-discipline, accomplishment and perseverance increase our feelings of self-worth.**

I challenge you, right now, take out a pen and paper and plan tomorrow: what are your non-negotiables, if-times, and stretches? **Make tomorrow the start of an excellent future.**

Some more wisdom on time management:

No matter your gender, your race, your religion, where you were born, or your socio-economic status, there is something that we are all equally given - _TIME_.

It doesn't matter if you live in Japan, Canada, Norway, or Russia. It doesn't matter if you were born into incredible wealth, the middle class, or poverty. It doesn't matter if you are male or female. It doesn't matter if you are Caucasian, African-American, Middle-Eastern, Indian or Chinese. **Each person on this Earth is given** 24 hours a day **to live their purpose and to make a difference.** Time is the great equalizer.

The most impactful and influential people in the world **use their time to fulfill THEIR purpose** and rarely waste any time procrastinating or doing things that don't really matter. Impactful people don't waste time because they are acutely aware **that time is the most precious resource they have.** Unlike money, time is non-renewable. We never get more time.

Unlike money, if we make a foolish impulse purchase with our pay check, we can always go to work and make more \- even if it means getting really uncomfortable by working a second, third, or even fourth job - more money is available to get. Time, however, is not. Once we cash in the two hours of aimlessly scrolling through Snap or IG, the two hours are spent, with no hope for a refund. The time we spend is forever gone.

**The most successful students and people are those that spend their time knowing that tomorrow isn't certain.** Only when you recognize the true value of time will you begin to spend it more wisely. **However, because of your youth, recognizing the value of time is difficult for most teenagers. It's like a rich kid knowing the true value of a dollar and spending money wisely.** It's rare because like time and youth, and money and a rich kid, the assumption is that there will always be more.

As a teacher, I heard excuses every day. **Most excuses are used because students have chosen spend their time foolishly** , resulting in arriving late to class, not studying for a test, not finishing homework, or handing in late assignments. "I had to do chores," "I had to help with supper," "I had to go to work", "I had to help a friend," "I had Driver's Ed.," were often the excuses heard to help validate the idea that this time, lateness and mediocrity would be acceptable. Chores, helping with supper, going to work, and helping a friend are excellent ways to spend your time, but **you still need to make time for YOUR SUCCESS.**

To illustrate my point of creating time for your success, I would challenge my students by thinking about the following hypothetical scenario: Bill Gates has randomly walked into the school and promised you that if you meet him at a very inconvenient destination (usually a location about a 2-3 drive away) at 2AM, he would reward your determination with a prize – two million dollars in cash!

Each student in the class, no matter how set in stone their plans were - doing chores, helping with supper, going to work, or helping a friend - would immediately cancel or **MODIFY** their plans and accommodate the wishes of Bill Gates. They would _find a way_ , no matter what, to meet him at 2AM. Suddenly, the fatigue of having to work all evening wasn't an obstacle. If something is important to you, you will make time for it, if it isn't, you will make an excuse. Period.

For years, I wanted to write a book. I told everyone that would listen that I was going to write a book. It didn't happen. Why? I thought I didn't have enough time to write. I was busy! So I told myself I would use summer break to write a book. But guess what? IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!

**Writing a book wasn't a high priority for me, because if it was, it would have been done. I would have made time to write.** I didn't realize it at the time, but I had many other things in my life that were more important than writing: when I got home from work, I watched TV - sometimes, a lot of TV! It wouldn't be unusual for me to watch Sports Centre, a baseball game, then a movie. By that time, my evening would be spent and it would be time to go to bed. I would also spend hours aimlessly browsing on my phone, checking social media, and sometimes too, play video games on the PlayStation. Positive activities too, like weight training, participating in a recreational softball league, prepping for the next day's lessons, and grading papers, would also receive a lot of my time. Even though I would never admit it, each of these activities was more important than writing. Why? Because I made time for them.

Even though I told people repeatedly that I was going to write a book, **my actions did not match my words. My actions were demonstrating that watching three hours of TV per night was a more worthy deposit of my time** than accomplishing a dream and writing a book that could potentially help teens all over the world. Years later I finally realized that if I were to write a book, I needed to prioritize my time. **I needed to make rooms for my dreams to fit. If I didn't make time for my dreams, my dreams would be nothing more than a WISH.**

If you aren't making time to finish your homework, it's not important enough to you. If you aren't arriving to school on time, being punctual isn't important to you. If you didn't study for a test, high achievement isn't important to you. **You spend your time on what matters to you most.** It truly is that simple. Don't try to convince yourself otherwise. When you fail to complete a task, you do so because other things were more important to you. **The sooner you realize that your excuses are like chains holding you back from success, the sooner you can break free.**

How did I change my time management and begin to write my book? The first step was small - 1% better every day, right?! I downloaded an app called 'Habitbul' and decided to slowly change my habit of not writing ever, to writing every day – AT LEAST 116 words (I came up with 116 words because I knew I wanted my book to be about 150 pages. After a google search showed me that 150 pages is roughly 42,000 words, I divided 42000 by 365 to get a daily total). 116 words literally took me between three and five minutes - maybe ten minutes if I was having writer's block. That's it! That was the extent of my change. **No matter how poorly I spent my time, I knew that I could fit between five and ten minutes EVERY DAY to chase a dream.** I made it to 101 consecutive days of writing and before I knew it, I was 40% done my book. Once I was 40% done writing the book, the momentum carried me forward to completion. **I eventually completed the book in** less than half of the time **I scheduled myself to complete it! The 116 words every day eventually snowballed into 1000 words every day, beginning at 5AM! I have learned that SMALL CHANGES CAN QUICKLY LEAD INTO LIFE-ALTERING PROGRESS.** I now wake up every day at 5AM ready to complete the day's most important tasks. Taking time to write between 5 and 10 minutes every day has completely changed the way I prioritize my time. I believe I now spend my time more wisely than anyone I know. Guess what? **YOU CAN DO THE SAME!**

If you don't study enough, start small, add between five and ten minutes of studying to your day. That's it! When you notice your grades increase, you will be motivated to study for twenty minutes every day. When your grades increase again, you will be motivated to study for thirty minutes every day. **Before you know it, a small change can progress you into having one of the highest averages in your school. When others are using those thirty minutes to browse Snap or IG, you are getting better.** The grind is worth it.

What can you accomplish simply by purposefully using your time more wisely? Can you read a book a month? Can you write a book? Can you begin a new daily workout program? The list is unique for each of us. Reflect on what you could be ADDING TO YOUR LIFE if you managed your time more wisely. Make a plan. Start small, and begin the change today.

# Find Your Word

This concept came from a book entitled, "One Word That Will Change Your Life", written by Jon Gordon (my favorite author), Jimmy Page, and Dan Britton. The idea behind _'One Word'_ was born out of witnessing the majority of people fail at their New Year's resolutions and goals- the author's figured that instead of creating a specific New Year's resolution, such as losing weight, getting a 95 in Chemistry, or working out every day, **you should instead focus on one word that you will live your year by.** When you live by one word, success becomes more predictable and consistent because there are many more ways to determine success and more paths that lead to it. Success becomes all-encompassing.

I was so inspired by this concept that I immediately began to apply it to my life and profession. To help discover your word, the authors instruct you to first identify your passion and purpose. I have heard it said that the **two most important days of your life are the day you were born, and the day you figure out why.** When you find your _WHY_ \- your purpose - you can then begin to discover your one word.

For the first thirty years of my life, I did not have a why. I simply reacted to my days, often in the company of chickens, living an average life. When I needed a self-esteem boost, I would compare my accomplishments to other chickens, and then feel mildly better about myself. I was far too afraid to compare myself and challenge myself to that of eagles. I didn't have a purpose. I knew I wanted to be a teacher, because I enjoyed the company of teenagers - who are full of life and energy - more so than adults. I thought I would simply be an average teacher, go on some vacations with my family, have a decent car, then retire **. I was happy with a life of mediocrity, because when you surround yourself with chickens, it's all you know.**

In my experience, **the single biggest factor that will separate you from your peers is to have a one word \- a purpose, a why.** I read this book during my seventh year teaching transformation (believe me, that's no coincidence). Failure showed me that I had a passion to _inspire_ students to achieve levels of excellence they didn't know they had. I wanted to create unique and high-achieving classrooms that had a different _"feel"_ than the rest. I had a strong vision that I wanted to leave an impact so great that my legacy would reach students all over the globe. In my own way, I wanted to change the world. **It became increasingly clear to me that I when I am gone, the world needed to be a better place for me having been here** for 70 or 80 years. I no longer only wanted to consume. I wanted to give. Therefore, my one word became _INSPIRE_.

When inspire became my one word, all of my thoughts, conversations, and more importantly, my actions, needed to coincide - to match - that word. So instead of having one specific goal; such as having the most active Physical Education classes in the school division, I now had a lifestyle to emulate - that of INSPIRE - then suddenly, I was impacting students at a higher level than I even imagined. Active PE classes became a BY-PRODUCT of INSPIRE.

My one word wasn't very difficult for me to discover. Yours too, should be fairly easy to find if you know what you are passionate about. I know who I am and where I want to go. To help you find your one word, I have a very powerful question for you: at the end of your life, on your gravestone, **if you could only pick one word for you to be remembered by, what word would you select to have on your gravestone for others to read forever?** Many teenagers, probably yourself included, spend far too much time on things that don't matter - things like what you look like, what brand name clothes you wear, if you are a part of the "cool" crowd, and what kind of car you drive. I can guarantee you that nobody would select the words beautiful, handsome, popular, or mustang-driver as their one word on their gravestone. Those words are too shallow and reflect an empty and meaningless existence. Instead, deep words that convey a life that impacted, influenced and helped _OTHERS_ are the words that are most remembered.

So what should your one word be? Ask yourself: _"how do I want to be remembered?"_ Some examples include: leader, love, respect, honest, positive, humble, giving, kind, loyal, coach, progress, joy, better, consistent, grace, disciplined, faith, courage, confident, persevere, brave, obedience, and fearless. To help you further, think of world-changers; those who altered the world for the better so much, that even generations after they are gone, they are still highly revered, respected and regarded as GREAT. What would Mother Theresa's word be? Servant. What would Mahatma Gandhi's one word be? Peacemaker. What would Jesus Christ's one word be? Love. What would Martin Luther King Jr.'s one word be? Equality. These are all words that signify a life lead for others. Again...how do you want to be remembered? Many of my **students stretched themselves and selected words that they would like to** _become_ **\- a word that they didn't see themselves as yet** (growth mindset).

I was so inspired by the one word idea, I immediately began to use it with all of my classes and students. I then displayed my word in front on my classes for all to see. **This is the second challenge with having a one word: tell as many people as you can about it.** This will hold you to high levels of accountability - the more people you tell, the more accountable you become. Others should know what they can expect of you. **If your one word is confident, people should EXPECT IT, THEN SEE IT IN ACTION.** I had a student confidently remind me once that **actions always speak louder than words.** I have also heard it said that, _"I can't hear a word you say because your actions speak so loud."_ When you share your word with others you become a lot more vulnerable and transparent with them. **Vulnerability and transparency create accountability. When you are accountable to others, others can spot you along the way.**

Once I displayed my word, I told my students specifically how I would act this out each day. When you are specific with your planning, there is no hiding or ambiguity about what you are going to do and who you are going to be. As an example, this is specifically what I told my students about whom I was going to be and whom they could trust would be their teacher every day:

" _I will bring contagious energy, I will teach beyond the curriculum every day - "tithe my time" (like the Biblical principle, to give 10%; meaning 10% of class time would be spent away from curriculum matters), I will listen like the speaker is the most important person in the world, I will make each student feel valued and heard, I will allow each student the freedom to choose who they wish to be (by use of their one word), and I will be a difference maker - meaning, when I am gone, you will know I was here - I will be remembered."_

Having these attributes displayed for all to see put added pressure on me to carry out my actions. I could not hide behind my feelings when I didn't feel like being that person. **True accountability only happens when you act on a promise even when you don't feel like it; especially when you're tired or sick or hurt, and the path of least resistance seems extra tempting.**

All of my students were required to make words for themselves too. They were displayed in the hallways leading to the gym, and displayed on the walls of my classroom. In the hallways, each student has a handprint with their chosen word over it. Before they are to enter the gym, they are instructed to make contact with their word - either with a high five, or a fist bump. The physical contact with their word represents a mental shift in their thinking. No matter how their day is going - good or bad - they are to change their mindset into the person they are committed to being in the gym - their word. **Consistency is a requirement of a student who wishes to chase excellence.**

Once they selected their word, just like I modeled, my students got very specific with how they will act it out in my class - what I can expect from them, and what they will commit to. The key is to begin this process gradually, like the principle of 1%. At the start of the year I told my students to be their word in my class only. Once I became confident that my students were regularly committing themselves to being their word in my class at all times, **I challenged those that were interested in chasing excellence to be their word all day, in all situations, in all environments.** Not all accepted the challenge. Some accepted, and then stopped when it got too difficult or inconvenient to carry on any further. However, many did accept the challenge and persisted through times of struggle and inconvenience. Those students were willing to pay the price of success. I learned that **all students want to be successful, but only a few are willing to pay the full price required.**

The implementation of this simple principle changed the entire culture of my classroom. Students arrived on a daily basis ready to challenge themselves to "chase their word." Students became friendlier and happier and often reminded one another of how they were going to be their word that day.

In the same way as I did with my students, I challenge you to adopt a word for you to live by. Jon Gordon suggests that you have both an annual word that changes from year to year (mine have been strong, inspire, and consistent), and a life word that is a guiding light for your purpose (mine is coach). Take your time, meditate, and carefully consider where you need to experience personal growth, or better yet, imagine what word you would want to be known as when you are gone. How do you want to be remembered?

Begin building your legacy now! Don't leave your legacy up to the opinions of others. Tell people who you are, then remind them every single day. **You are in COMPLETE CONTROL of your legacy and destiny.**

# Make RESPECT One of Your Words

Synonyms of respect are "admire" and "to hold in high regard". **If you want to leave an impactful legacy, YOU NEED to make the lives of others better.** You will only positively impact the lives of others if others respect you, admire you, and hold you in high regard. I have never been positively impacted by someone I didn't respect, admire, or hold in high regard. It doesn't even make sense. **Therefore, having "RESPECT" as a focal point of your thoughts, beliefs, and actions will begin you on the path towards impact.**

Think of a teacher who has had the most impact on you - the teacher you will remember in fifty years. I am willing to bet that this is also the same teacher that you respect more than any other. What causes respect? How do you acquire respect? Then how do you cultivate respect so that it continues to grow? I did some research to find out...

To conduct research on how to "chase" respect ( **I believe anyone is capable of being respected and admired by many people** ), I asked my high school students to help me gather some data. They were to picture the teacher in the school that they respected the most - the teacher they admired and held in higher regard than any other. I then asked them to write WHY they respected this person so much - what separated them from the rest.

I told my students that I have two pre-conceived assumptions about respect that I wanted to share: first, **I believe that STATUS has very little to do with** _deep respect_ **.** Meaning if a student respected our Principal more than anyone else in the school, my assumption was that respect wasn't derived from their status as Principal, but instead, the respect would come from something deeper; such as a friendliness or connection that he/she shared with them. Sure, we may respect someone because of their status, but if we are talking about identifying the MOST respected person in a given environment, then I believe, status in itself not that important.

**My second assumption was that a teacher's (or anybody's) knowledge of curriculum had very little to do with being the MOST respected person.** Knowledge may provide SOME feelings of respect or high regard, but I am convinced there are far greater attributes that one must possess in order to gain deep respect from others. My assumptions turned out to be correct...

**Research showed that the most respected teachers in school had the following two attributes: CARE AND EMPATHY.** Simply put, if a teacher did not demonstrate either care or empathy EVERY DAY, they were not as respected as those who did. It didn't matter if the teacher taught Physics or Art; and it didn't matter who was the smartest or provided the most engaging lessons or provided the fairest tests. Care and empathy separated the average from the great.

**If you desire to leave an impactful legacy at your school or place of work, begin to care for people.** Begin to empathize with people. When you go to school, what is your first priority? Meeting your friends? Handing in your homework? Attending class? Although necessary and required for success, these activities only benefit you. Just like the average teacher who prepares engaging lessons and teaches the most difficult subjects, these activities are necessary and required to do well, but they will not separate you from the rest. You will not be respected as much as you _could be_.

When you arrive at school tomorrow, make a difference for others! Find that student who doesn't have friends, look them in the eye, and ask them how they are doing - and really mean it! Ask them how you can help. Show them you CARE.

**Show respect towards your teacher.** Even if they criticize you, are impatient with you, and ignore you, challenge yourself to care anyway. When other students are being disruptive, you will be focused on your work. When other students are daydreaming during a lesson, your body language will be exemplary. You will ask questions. Connect with your teacher on a level that doesn't involve curriculum, ask what their hobbies are, and talk to them about their family. Your teachers are human too! If your teacher doesn't respect you yet, consistent actions of EMPATHY AND CARE will begin to change their mindset towards you.

**Show empathy towards your boss,** even if they disrespect you. They hired you because they trust you will get the job done with a positive attitude. Show concern when they are upset. Look for ways to get better at your job. Ask how you can get better. Ask how you can help more. When your boss knows you care, they will respect you for it. You may even get promoted and get a raise while the average people are still grumbling and complaining in the background.

Plant the seed of respect deep within you so that its roots are strong and developed. When you respect others unconditionally, others will respect you back. You have the opportunity to be one of the most impactful and respected people at your school and workplace. Go ahead...make RESPECT one of your words to live by.

# Three Types of People You Need

Subconsciously I suppose, I have spent most of my life choosing friends who meet the same criteria - they are a lot like me. Meaning, we share similar interests and hobbies, share similar religious and socials viewpoints, and even share similar lines of work. This type of friend lands centrally within the confines of our comfort zones - they generally make us feel better about ourselves because they rarely challenge our thought processes and/or actions - probably because they are so similar to us, they don't see an area that we need to be challenged in. Research has shown that up to **95% of a person's success can be linked to those he/she chooses to associate with most of the time** \- if you spend most of your time associating with eagles, you too will become an eagle; if you spend most of your time associating with chickens, you too will become a chicken. The choice is always yours.

However, **as far as PERSONAL GROWTH and PROGRESS is concerned, "comfort zone friends" usually don't add a whole lot of value.** Of course they are necessary and extremely valuable in other ways - somebody to laugh with, socialize with, and share problems and stress with. But in order to grow and leave an impact, you need to find two other types of people as well: **you need people that can fill you up, and people that you can pour into.** Impactful people cannot only associate with those on the same level as them. It is impossible to grow that way.

You need to have someone to fill you up - people that ADD to your life, who encourage you, who challenge you, who you learn from, and who just genuinely make you a better person. This person also has the ability to honestly assess your "blind spots" - areas of your life that you need to develop that you don't even see. These people are called _mentors_.

As a student, you potentially have several mentors available to you - a teacher or any other staff member at your school. One of my most hurtful memories as a high school student is that in a fairly large high school, with a fairly large teaching staff, not one teacher took an interest in me. I was basically invisible. Academically speaking, I didn't do well in school. I barely got by because school was a place that I just tried to survive. I didn't have a mentor to fill me up so that I could THRIVE. At the time, there were certainly teachers that I looked up to, but none of them were interested in filling me up. **When you don't have somebody to fill you up, eventually you will run out of gas.** I made it my mission as a teacher to make all of my students feel valued and cared for. If they needed someone to fill them up, I was ready to take on that role at a moment's notice. Chances are there is a teacher or staff member at your school who is ready to fill you up because most teachers enter the profession with a strong desire to help teenagers. I challenge you to find this person at your school - someone that you can connect with. If not, mentors can take on other roles in your life too; such as family members, a boss, a coach, or a parent of a friend.

A mentor doesn't have the same tendencies as a comfort zone friend. This is a different relationship entirely. Therefore, **mentors are rarely your peers** (but can be if they are particularly wise and mature). To be poured into, you cannot be on the same level as someone. You need to rely on their wisdom and experience - someone who has been there already and succeeded.

**I make it a habit to learn from a mentor EVERY DAY. I challenge you to do the same. How? Read. I am convinced that the most successful students read AT LEAST 30 minutes every day.** I don't mean fiction books either. I mean books filled with wisdom that can be applied to your life immediately. Books that challenge you. Just like how fertilizer helps the seed grow, challenges will help you grow. **Spend time following leaders and mentors online.** Sure it's fun to mindlessly watch YouTube videos or scroll through IG, but while you're there, allow technology to make you better! One of my non-negotiable items to do every day is to spend at least 15 minutes watching uplifting and encouraging videos on YouTube. Just because I personally don't know the speakers doesn't mean that they can't pour into my life. This way, I have access to world-class mentors any time I want! **Make time every day to learn.** If you do this, from my experience, I am confident you will accomplish more than 95% of students in your school because instead of planning extra time to learn, those 95% are looking for fun activities that provide immediate gratification. While you are being challenged, learning, and growing, they are watching TV, snapping, or gaming - you tell me who is going to be more accomplished! It's pretty easy math.

You also need someone that you can pour into \- someone you can challenge, help, and give advice to, just like the mentor does for you, because **eventually if you keep getting poured into, your cup will overflow. Impactful people find ways to help others.** What good is gaining knowledge and having wisdom if you don't share it with anyone? It's wasteful. Withholding knowledge and wisdom is selfish and arrogant. When you share wisdom with others, you not only help develop their progress, but you also better yourself because **teaching leads to mastery. If you can't teach something, you don't know it well enough. The seed isn't planted deep enough yet to grow.**

I am willing to bet there are a number of people in your school that you can help and assist immediately - as in tomorrow, immediately! As I have said, I was always the ignored student at school, so I turned to basketball to ease my pain of isolation and loneliness. On the court I became somebody. My identity was tied into my performance. I became noticed by others when I had a basketball in my hands. Simply put, I had an unhealthy relationship with basketball because basketball was the only way I could get attention and validate my self-worth. There wasn't a teacher, student, counsellor or anyone in sight for SIX years who would help me. **There is somebody in your school right now who** YOU **could impact** FOREVER **.** A kind word, an arm around a shoulder, an encouragement, will often go further and last longer than you may ever know or understand. If you are willing to get uncomfortable, **I promise you, you have the opportunity to be someone's hero. You have the opportunity to do something bigger than you. Please, for that kid, for that student, LEAVE YOUR MARK. MAKE AN IMPACT.**

Most teenagers never drift away from their comfort zone friends. **When you stay in your comfort zone, you often miss out on the most rewarding aspects of life.** A word that is often associated with comfort zone is "common" because it is common for people to remain safely within the confines of their comfort zone. It is common to always associate with those who are your equals - your peers. However, it is uncommon for teenagers to go out of their way to diligently and consistently seek extra wisdom and knowledge from resources and others. In the same way, it is uncommon for teenagers to diligently and consistently assist and help others in times of need and hurt. If you are interested in planting a seed of excellence, **go fill your cup with wisdom and knowledge, then pour some out to someone in need. Repeat this process over and over again. If you do, you will leave a legacy so big at your school, that you will NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.**

# Find The Light

My dad passed away on February 28, 2015. Thus far, losing him has been the most difficult part of my life. Looking back now, the day before, February 27, 2015 is probably even more painful because that was the day I spoke to my dad for the last time. My last conversation with him wasn't a Hollywood scripted ending either. In fact, it was much less than that.

I arrived at the hospital in Winnipeg right after work. When I got there, his room was completely packed full of relatives and friends. This sight made me smile because it made me realize that he lived a good life by impacting many people. I didn't want to be rude and interrupt the conversations that were going on, so I quietly snuck up to his bedside and told him I would be right back, as I was going to head downstairs to the cafeteria and have dinner with my brother. He thanked me for coming and said he would talk to me later, when I came back up. As I turned my back and walked out of the room, down the hallway, to the basement where the cafeteria was, I did not realize at the time that I had just spoken my last words I would ever speak to my dad. By the time I returned to his room, just thirty minutes later, he had slipped into a deep sleep from which he would never awake. He died the next day, surrounded by me and the rest of his family, at 11:50 AM.

When he died, I was devastated. I had not only lost my father, but my best friend as well. I was only thirty-three years old. I quickly became depressed and soon entered the realm of self-pity, frustration, and anger. I began to compare myself to others thinking that it wasn't fair that I had to lose my dad at such a young age. When I focused on that comparison, more and more reasons to pity myself entered my mind, and I began to focus on them constantly. I began to think of how my parents divorced when I was five years old. I thought it wasn't FAIR that I have no memory or knowledge of what it feels like to be a part of a family with both a mom and a dad living under the same roof. It is something that I will never get to experience (my mom and dad lived together with me until I was four or five, but I have no memory of that time). The snowball of doubt and negativity kept rolling downhill, getting larger and larger as each day passed. When you add in the events of his widow trying to steal our inheritance, my depression weighed me down further until I eventually became a person who could only see the darkness amid a snowball of negativity weighing me down.

**Being consumed by darkness and negativity didn't only affect my happiness, but it also impacted the happiness and moods of those close to me.** I was miserable, and my negativity and unhappiness made others miserable too. Negativity is toxic, poisonous, and extremely contagious. **For my own sanity, and the mental health of those close to me, I needed to FIND THE LIGHT.**

A few weeks after his death and funeral, I began to sort through hundreds of pictures of my dad - some of him and me together, while others were taken long before I was born when he was a teenager enrolled in the Navy - feelings of both sadness and joy came over me at the same time. Sadness because I was reminded of the thought that I would never see him again; but also joy because of the memory that the pictures provided made me realize that although I had lost my dad, I have countless memories of the happy times that we had together. The pictures made me realize that I had to focus on the memories - the good times - and the teachings and lessons my dad instilled within me. Those memories, and the realization that I would never have become the man I am today without his guidance, was the light that I needed to focus on to pass through this storm.

When the anniversary of my dad's passing comes on February 28th, I am now consumed by the light. The light engulfs the darkness and sadness. My thoughts are now of happiness and laughter. I smile when I think of him and how much he gave of himself to me during the 33 years that we had together. Gone are the days of having pity parties for myself. **The darkness has made way to the light.**

I have counselled many teenagers over the years that did not yet have the skill of finding the light. Teenagers, and adults too for that matter, often focus on the darkness. Darkness has the power to defeat you if you allow it to. I have seen many people defeated by darkness. The way to overcome darkness is to find the light. **Sometimes, you have to really dig far, through layers of hurt and defeat, but I promise you, eventually, no matter how difficult your circumstance and how far you have to dig, you will find** _some_ **light.**

I remember I had a student who was going through several incredibly hard and stressful issues in their personal life all at the same time - parents struggled with addiction and would spend their income feeding it, resulting in her going hungry for many days at a time. No doubt, these issues would have been extremely difficult to navigate through even at the best of times. It was completely understandable that her academics began to plummet extremely quickly. When you focus on the darkness, little else begins to matter. **Darkness will suffocate you. Darkness will choke the life out of you** \- and darkness was certainly in the process choking the life out of this particular student. Because she couldn't see it yet, I took it upon myself to show her the light.

Light is easy to see. In complete darkness, a single speck of light will stand out. The same is true for you. In the midst of your darkness, there is light – you just need to know where to look. In the midst of your parents' divorce, there is light. In the midst of your breakup, there is light. In the midst of your failure, there is light.

This student had a successful side business where she was able to use her passions of creating art and costumes to create an income. Whenever she spoke about her creations and being able to sell it to children, her face lit up. A different energy would come out of her. **She didn't realize it at the time, but in those moments, she gave way to the light.** So I asked her, "What part of your life, right now, is good?" I didn't care how small the detail was; I wanted to know the positive. More importantly, I wanted her to **SPEAK the positive.** She told me about her business. She told me about how amazing it was to see one of her creations make a child smile. In turn, speaking these words caused her to smile. She had found the light. I told her to focus on the good no matter how badly she wanted to focus on the negative. **Always, always, always, find the light.**

Finding the light is looking for the positive in ANY situation. Remember, **if you are going through a storm, you have the opportunity to come out stronger once the storm passes. If you begin to think of each challenge or setback as a potential setup, your outlook and mindset will help you recover.** It doesn't matter if your parents are divorcing, you just failed a test, your best friend gossiped about you, or you lost your job; focus on the details in your life that are good. It's good that you have a roof over your head when millions of teenagers are homeless and starving around the world. It's good that you live in a safe environment when many villages around the world are ravaged by drought, diseases, earthquakes and tsunamis. It's good that you are able to attend school and get an education when millions of children don't have the opportunity. In other words, **when you are surrounded by darkness, PRACTICE GRATITUDE. Gratitude is a compass that will direct you towards the light.**

# Set The Tone \- Be a Thermostat

As we know, a thermometer takes temperature. A thermometer shows us the temperature of a given environment. That's it. A thermometers purpose isn't particularly impactful or influential. It just reads what's currently happening.

A person with a thermometer's mindset acts like a thermometer - they read the temperature of an environment, and then act accordingly. For example, if a student with a thermometer mindset didn't like a particular class because the energy was negative - students complained, routinely arrived late, and distracted others from their work - they too would respond to the negative environment by complaining, showing up late, or distracting others. Just like a thermometer, they don't impact anything, they just read the environment.

For the most part, I have always disliked social gatherings - particularly family gatherings. I usually spend most of the time staring at the clock hoping that time is passing faster than it feels. I usually can't wait to go home.

The reason why I dislike family gatherings is because the environment usually has a cold temperature - people talk superficially; such as asking how my job is going or if my care is working properly and others would stare at their phone in awkward silence trying not to make eye contact with others, probably wishing too that the evening would just end. As a result, I too would start browsing on my phone trying to look preoccupied, so maybe somehow, the time would go by faster. It didn't really work, and I just sat there, probably looking like a fool, clearly disinterested in the people at the gathering.

Basically put, I was being a thermometer. When I arrived, I took the temperature of the gathering - people on their phones, and communicating with meaningless idle chit chat - and responded in-kind. My appearance at the gathering did nothing to enhance the evening of anybody else. I joined in on the temperature, and remained that way until, mercifully, I got to go home. My attendance at the gathering was meaningless because as a thermometer, I was actually contaminating the environment. **Thermometers don't make the environment better because they can't change the temperature.**

Afterwards, I began to think of what the purpose of me attending these gatherings were. Was I just trying to please people? I certainly wasn't enjoying myself. In all honesty, I probably should have just stayed home because doing something with the sole purpose of just trying to please others can often lead to resentment. I wasn't adding to the experience for anybody. I knew that the next time I attended a family gathering, something had to change. I didn't want to waste my time anymore. I needed to become a thermostat!

Unlike a thermometer, a thermostat has a much greater purpose. Thermostats are much more complicated and technological, costing much more money than a thermometer does. **The thermostat SETS the temperature.** If you want the temperature of the house or room to change, you simply adjust the thermostat. The thermostat isn't influenced by the current temperature.

If I had a thermostat mentality at my family gatherings, I wouldn't have been influenced by the negative and cold environment that surrounded me. I wouldn't have surrendered and began aimlessly browsing on my phone. I wouldn't have involved myself in meaningless and superficial conversations. Instead, I would have SET the temperature if it was too cold! I would have left my phone in my car, and involved myself in meaningful conversation with as many people as I could. As a thermostat, I could have made the environment much warmer.

As a teacher, I have seen countless times, students walk into a classroom with a thermometer mentality because thermometers are a dime a dozen, they are common and mediocre. As an example, if a substitute teacher is teaching, and the majority of the students respond by being disrespectful, loud, and unproductive, then the thermometers too, become loud and unproductive. If the majority of students do not like a class, then the thermometers too, will follow and begin to dislike the class as well. If the majority of employees slack off when the boss isn't looking, then the thermometers too, will slack off at every opportunity. THERMOMETERS ARE FOLLOWERS.

**Thermostats, however, are leaders. Thermostats INSPIRE those around them to change.** Students with a thermostat mentality remind their peers to work hard, be respectful, and listen at all times. Thermostats get frustrated by thermometers and will not allow cold and negative environments to exist. I have had many students who impacted the class in such huge ways that it was noticeable when they were missing. When they were absent, the environment would get colder and more negative. However, when they were there, the environment would get warmer and more positive. In case you didn't realize already, each student can have an incredible impact on the climate of their classrooms...including you.

I made it a habit to begin all of my courses by teaching and planting the thermometer versus thermostat seed because _each student_ has the power within them to change the climate of any classroom - they just needed to be informed, and then BELIEVE that they could. If your work environment is negative because people spend their time complaining and cutting corners whenever they see an opportunity, _you don't have to do the same_. You can change the thermostat by not complaining, and begin praising and celebrating others to slowly reset the thermostat to a positive temperature. If your school is negative because you feel nobody notices you, you can get out of your comfort zone and begin engaging in conversations with others. Your initiative can change the temperature.

It is important to note that not everyone will respond to the temperature that you have set, and that is okay. Those who don't like the temperature will ultimately find a new group of people and an environment in which the temperature is more to their liking and comfort level. The benefit is though, as time passes, you will only have those in your room who want to be in the temperature you have set. The people who got too uncomfortable will be gone. You will be surrounded only by like-minded people.

It took me a while to realize that I have the power to be a thermostat and change the temperature of any environment. It took me even longer to ACT on it. Now I never settle in a room with an uncomfortable temperature. I either change the temperature, or I leave if the current temperature is just too powerful to change. I can always find others who want to be in the same environment.

Life is too short to be in a cold room.

# You Need A Spotter

I have been weight training for most of my adult life. Obviously, the purpose of weight training is to gain strength. When you get stronger, your muscles grow. Therefore, the goal of a weightlifter is to keep adding resistance to their exercise of choice. The more resistance - or burden - the bigger and stronger you will become. People will often show tremendous amounts of respect and awe to those who can lift large amounts of weight.

I have never seen someone feel sorry for someone working out. I have yet to see someone wrap their arm around the weightlifter and tell them how sad they feel for them as they struggle to lift their burden. Such a scene would be ridiculous. Instead, we see others encourage and support the weightlifter as he or she approaches the bar.

Why is it then that when someone is going through an emotional workout, we view it only as a negative? **The only way we can progress and get stronger both physically and mentally is to meet challenges, then defeat them.** We need to view an emotional struggle as a workout in the same way as we view a physical workout – as an **opportunity** to become stronger. If your parents are going through a divorce, you have an opportunity to become stronger. Consider it a workout. Remember, the more resistance - the greater the burden - the stronger you will become at the end of your workout.

**The more challenges you face and defeat, the stronger you will get**. The weightlifter that can bench 400 pounds didn't fall on the top of the mountain, but instead, they worked their way to the top by meeting THEN DEFEATING challenge after challenge. **Here's the key...every weightlifter who can bench press 400 pounds did not climb the mountain by themselves. They needed a guide to support them. They needed a spotter.**

The role of a spotter is to help the weightlifter lift the weight in case it's too heavy to lift by alone. This happens when the weightlifter challenges them self by lifting a weight that they are unsure they can lift. If the weightlifter is unable to lift the weight and needs the help of the spotter, it doesn't make them any less strong. They are still strong and powerful - they just needed assistance today. With enough training and practice, tomorrow they won't need the spotter for that weight anymore. Their strength will have increased and will be ready for the challenge of more resistance.

I had a student who was struggling emotionally with the separation and divorce of her parents. Her father had chosen the spectacularly selfish moment of the day after her sister's wedding to introduce to his wife, daughters and family, his new girlfriend. Nobody in the family knew about his extracurricular affairs. The situation grew worse as her mom and dad continued to quarrel over the next year. She was often placed in the middle of the fighting, repeatedly having to choose sides with the probability of disappointing or angering at least one of her parents at every turn. It was a situation that no teenager should ever have to be placed into. As the fighting and guilt escalated, she began to withdraw from people and school. Avoidance became her coping mechanism.

Through the pain and heartache, she began to show uncommon levels of inner strength and toughness, even though she didn't recognize it at the time. I decided to tell her the analogy of spotting to illustrate to her that she has an inner strength that she didn't realize yet, and with the help of a spotter, she would be able to lift ANY weight and win ANY battle.

It went like this...I consider myself to be a physically strong person. I can bench, squat, row and complete most exercises at a higher level than many at my age. This is only because I have intentionally made myself struggle, sweat, and add resistance to my workouts over the years. Sometimes though, I am unable to lift the weight that I have resting on the bar. I asked her if not being able to lift a heavy weight suddenly made me weak. She said no, that I would still be a strong person because I am still capable of lifting more weight than most, regardless if I fail. I could see in her eyes that at this moment, she understood my point: **Just because you can't handle the weight of a divorce doesn't mean that you are weak! It means you haven't trained or prepared yourself enough to handle the weight YET. You need a spotter to help you lift!**

When I am about lift a weight that I am unsure of, I always get a spotter to help me just in case I need their assistance. When I have a spotter, I know I can lift the weight even if I get stuck halfway. Here's the key though... **always be incredibly selective when choosing a spotter.** It's easiest to pick the person who _looks_ the part. I remember when I was a beginner, just starting to lift at gyms, I would immediately pick the person who looked like they could lift a lot, without ever watching them to see if they actually could. You see, **many people look the part, but when the battle comes, and you need the spotter to jump in and help, they are weak and can't help** \- you get crushed by the weight anyway.

It took me a while to recognize that **before I select a spotter, I need to watch people lift heavy first. I need to know that they are strong.** The same requirements need to be met for your emotional spotter as well. I have seen many teenagers rely on their friends who are in no condition to be a spotter. These types of spotters make the lift worse because when you fail with assistance, your confidence goes down fast. When your confidence goes down, your strength goes down until you are depleted and unable to lift the smallest of weights.

For my student to lift the weight of a divorce, she needed to add a spotter. The weight was too heavy to lift all on her own. Sometimes though, in extreme situations, where the weight is much more than you can handle, you may need multiple spotters. I remember bench pressing 315 pounds for the first time. I had a spotter behind me ready to tackle the weight if I needed. I decided though, to be extra safe, I would have two spotters in case one wasn't enough. **The more spotters you have, the stronger and safer you will be.**

If you are in the middle of a workout - a parents divorce, battling an addiction, or battling depression and/or anxiety, make sure you have STRONG spotters behind you to help you lift the weight off of your shoulders. **When you complete the workout, and the weight has been lifted, YOU WILL BE A STRONGER PERSON.** Next time you face the battle, you will be ready. I want you to remember...the purpose of a workout is to make you stronger. Begin to see storms and problems as opportunities to get stronger. Remember, nobody feels sorry for the weightlifter; instead we get excited because at the other side of the struggle is a feeling of accomplishment and significance. **GO LIFT THAT WEIGHT!**

# Consistency is Key

In my opinion, based on research and a career of teaching, communicating with, and observing the successes and failures of students, **I believe that consistency is the most important factor in determining future success**.

**Far too many people allow their feelings to determine their actions** , resulting in unpredictable behaviours. Tired? People generally act with impatience and frustration. Angry? Most respond by ignoring, isolating, or yelling. Sad? Most respond with poor body language, tone, and interest. Frustrated? Most are irritable and short with people, even with those that had nothing to do with triggering your frustration. As a teacher, I saw teenagers react to their feelings every day. I often didn't know which version of a student would show up. Would I get the happy and pleasant version that refuses to quit? Or would I get the grumpy or angry version that is unwilling to try? I rarely knew because allowing our feelings to determine our actions is a natural sequence of behavior. However, it is a very inconsistent way to live. **If you want to be in the top 10% of students and begin to accomplish remarkable things, you need to be CONSISTENT with your behavior. The only way to do that is by reversing the process of mediocrity:** HAVE YOUR ACTIONS DETERMINE YOUR FEELINGS **.**

I have a story that perfectly illustrates the negativity and poison that inconsistency breeds. As you already know, my one word for teaching was, and still is, inspire. Inspire was displayed in my classroom, in the hallway, and even printed on custom t-shirts that I had made (the shirts read, "Better Than Yesterday", and "Chase Greatness"). My mission was to represent _INSPIRE_ at all times - both with my words and with my actions - regardless of how I _felt_. To validate the impact I had on my students, I decided to completely change my mindset, mission, and actions overnight, and become the opposite version of myself. Or simply put, I decided I would let my feelings determine my words and actions - I became _inconsistent_.

I began telling the class that I had made a significant life decision. I said that I had deliberately changed my mindset and would now seek comfort and mediocrity in everything that I did because I wanted my life to be as easy and care-free as possible. If something was too difficult, I would quit. If something was uncomfortable, I would leave or stop trying. I would now do all things with the mentality of doing just enough to get by without getting fired, so I could still collect my pay check. I said that pursuing excellence and continually challenging myself to get better each day was mentally and physically exhausting, and I was too tired to continue. Instead I wanted to experience an easy life - I now wanted to avoid challenges as much as possible. As I was speaking, I looked around, and saw astonished faces of students who weren't sure what was happening. I could tell there was a mixture of shock, disbelief, and hurt as I had suddenly changed from the person I promised to be and had set out to become.

As I continued my sudden "metamorphosis" I wanted them to see just how far my mindset had "changed", so I included a powerful physical example for them to see. I had my laminated word INSPIRE crumpled in my pocket. I took the word out, grabbed a trash can, and disposed of it right in front of the class! I told my students I threw my word out because it had no real significance to me because when I saw it, when I made contact with my word before entering the gym, nothing in my mind changed. My mindset stayed the same. I did not enter a world of "INSPIRE". Instead, I told them, I was simply going through the motions because of how touching my word LOOKED - I was the teacher, the leader who instilled and inspired the use of one word, so needed to at least touch the word to fake its significance. As I finished, I told my students that if I had to select a new word, which I wouldn't, because printing and laminating a new word is too much work, it would now be "comfort". My new mission was to avoid challenges and seek my comfort zone at all costs. I told them that the most comfortable thing for me to do in that moment was to sit in the corner of the gym while they lead themselves into whatever physical activity they may want to do. I then mentioned that if the activity wasn't to their liking, they were free to join me by sitting on the floor and avoiding it. I begged them to find their comfort zones. My job was done.

The reason I decided to "change" if front of my students was to show them what inconsistency looks like, sounds like, and feels like. Many were hurt, upset, and angry. I didn't blame them. As class ended, students left the gym rather upset. I had a few students respond very strongly to me and my sudden change of action and behavior, and even had a student write me a letter challenging me, and letting me know how upset and hurt she was. My plan had worked! I couldn't wait for the next day to explain myself and expose the truth behind my actions.

The next day I revealed to my class that I had put on an act to teach them a valuable lesson. When I act based on my feelings - I really did feel tired and not particularly ready to represent INSPIRE that day - **my actions become inconsistent from who I set out to be because feelings change frequently throughout the day.** Many of them, I said, routinely display inconsistency on a daily basis - to me, their teachers, their friends, their peers, and their parents. Meaning, if they felt happy, they would act happy. If they felt mad, they would act angry, and if they felt sad, they would act sad. You name it, **when you feel a certain way, then act based on that feeling or emotion, you become an incredibly inconsistent person.** This is a very mediocre way to live.

As a teacher I was never sure what version of each student would walk into the gym. For purely selfish reasons, I hoped that each student had positive day filled with laughter and meaningful conversations and interactions with others because if they were happy, the chances of having a positive class was much greater. Most times however, a student or two, or even three would have a bad day for whatever reason - maybe they failed a test, broke up with their partner or focused most of their day on some ongoing family issues - and would participate in class with the mindset of only doing enough to get by. As you know, the path of least resistance is poison - particularly in an environment in which the leader is constantly trying to cultivate excellence. It just takes one dose of poison to contaminate an entire environment.

I began to challenge my students about the incredible importance of consistency. **To stand out and achieve excellence, it is imperative to BE YOU EVERY DAY** so people know what to expect from you. If your word is discipline, then you need to be disciplined no matter how you feel. If your word is leader, then you need to practice leadership no matter how you feel. If your word is excel, then you need to find ways to excel. If your word is persist, then you need to persist through difficult times every day, not just when your willpower is strong enough. **Consistency is a full time job with no breaks.** That is why so few people are willing to pay the price.

To put an exclamation point on my lesson about the incredible significance of consistency, I printed a banner that read, "Consistency Lives Here" and placed it over the entrance to the gym as a continual reminder of what is needed to achieve success. Students were required to keep their promises and commitments of their word no matter what, and be consistent each day with their actions and behaviours. The sooner you start to practice consistency, the sooner it will become a habit. If you can develop a level of consistency in your studies, friendships, and relationships, you will have an incredible advantage over those who let their feelings and emotions interfere with who they are. Subconsciously, others will want to be around you because of your level of consistency. They will know what to expect, and never have to fear you exploding out of anger or being distant because of sadness or hurt. **If you allow your actions to take control, your feelings will eventually match.** If you act positive, even when you failed a test, positivity will eventually win. **Consistency has the power to change your mood. Stop being a slave to how you feel - you will be a happier and stronger person if you do.**

Success and significance is a result of being different than the majority. A synonym for mediocre is "middle-of-the-road." **If you don't want to be middle-of-the-road, mediocre, or average, you need to find ways to stand out and be different than the rest.** Most people are inconsistent. Begin to stand out with uncommon levels of consistency. When people around you are breaking because of anger or stress, just like a rock, you will be steady through the storm.

An excellent way to apply consistency to your life immediately is to develop your one word and have it as the focal part of your day. That way no matter what happens, you will consistently respond and react in a greater way than most.

# Listen More

I believe listening is a lost art form. **People are quick to speak, quick to give their assessments and opinions, but are slow to listen.** I saw this every day as a school teacher. Not just with students in my class, but with teachers communicating with teachers, and students communicating with their friends and peers. Poor listening skills are an epidemic. **If you want to become great, simply become a great listener.** The simple act of listening will make you different than most.

I once asked my students if they listen when someone speaks to them. Naturally, they all agreed that they did - maybe not all of the time, but they were of the opinion that they listened at least most of the time when someone was speaking to them. I reasoned that many people, when "listening", are already formulating a rebuttal, or something to say back while that person is still speaking to them. After pondering this for a moment, most of my students agreed that they were also in the habit of planning a response while someone was speaking, at least during a one-on-one conversation. Is planning a response while someone is still speaking really listening?

I was in a restaurant a while back with my wife. During a down time in our conversation, both of us started to naturally do one of our favorite things: people-watch. I noticed a younger couple in particular - probably in their late 20's or early 30's. One of them was trying to engage in conversation while the other was on their phone. As the person spoke, the other was responding by nodding in approval as they continued to look their device. I cringed because the "listener" was far more interested on what was happening on their phone than the person speaking to them.

Both examples of "listening" - formulating a response while the person is talking, and 'distracted listening' - are extremely frequent in today's world. They are disrespectful to the speaker and need to be removed from your habits if you find yourself "listening" this way.

After years of accepting poor body language from my students, I started the habit of beginning my courses with a lesson about achieving excellent body language. I would start by telling my students a surprising stat - 93% of all communication is non-verbal! And unlike speaking, where we can change our tone or raise our voice or whisper, body language doesn't allow the same luxury. **Body language is very loud and obvious.** Body language always screams! Body language screams "I care!!" or "I don't care!!" **Body language never whispers.**

I wanted my students to begin to scream 'I CARE' with their body language. I was tired of speaking to students who looked like they weren't involved in the lesson, because an uninvolved classroom breeds negativity quickly. If a saw a student slouch, I would ask them what their body language was communicating in that moment. **As a 'sloucher', you could actually be highly engaged in the lesson or speaker, but the speaker will ALWAYS interpret slouching as indifference.** Conversely, if I noticed a student bringing positive body language with their listening; such as giving eye contact or leaning forward in their chair, I would openly celebrate the positive energy they were giving the class with their body language.

It's really easy to allow complacency to affect our listening. **When we become comfortable with an environment or a person, we allow that comfort to supersede our effort.** For example, think of the first day of school this year. When you walked into class, you were probably driven with aspirations of high achievement and were planning on working harder than you ever had before. **To earn those excellent grades and achieve your high aspirations of success, it's essential that you fully listen to your teacher at all times.** However, as days turn into weeks, and weeks turn into months, chances are your aspirations began to wane from the highs of the start of the semester. Once you got comfortable, your effort probably began to drop. When your effort drops, your listening will become inconsistent. Comfort has taken over. Therefore, **excellent listening becomes an INTENTIONAL DECISION that you must make every minute of every day.** Consistent people make that decision. Inconsistent people allow comfort to rule.

Let me prove to you that excellent listening is a conscious decision. Let's imagine that a person you greatly admire was visiting your school for the day (a sports star, singer, entertainer, politician, etc. For me this person would be Michael Jordan or Wayne Gretzky). Better yet, let's imagine that this person was speaking to your first period class - that class where you normally arrive late and allow your tiredness to affect your performance and attitude. As this person speaks to your class, would you still be slouching like you do every other morning? Would your head still be on your desk? I would think not. I am sure we would all give this person incredible body language the entire time he/she spoke. Our eyes would be fixated on theirs. Our posture would be straight and strong as we lean forward in our chair. Our hands would be folded and locked tight, not making any noise or distraction. We would be nodding up and down after each sentence or two to reaffirm to them that we are listening and we understand what they are saying. Our feet would be flat on the floor. There would be no mistake that we are listening.

If you want to be different than most, you need to apply the fundamental principles of this imaginary situation EVERY time you listen, regardless of WHO is speaking, WHAT time it is, WHERE you are, and WHAT the speaker is talking about. Just like the example described incredibly body language for Michael Jordan or Wayne Gretzky as they spoke, **we too need to listen like the speaker is the most important person in the world.** When we do this, we allow others to feel important and validated. People will know that you care. **Put your phone away, make eye contact, nod your head, sit or stand strongly, and never slouch. I promise you will have a greater impact on others.**

Next time you walk into class make it a priority to give next-level body language to your teacher at all times. Make it incredibly clear to him/her that you are listening. Make him/her feel like they are the most important person in the world, speaking about the most important topic in the world (even if it's a topic you aren't interested in like math, history, or physics). Your teacher is probably in the routine of dealing with students who are half-listening or barely engaged in the lesson. The simple act of listening can have a huge impact on their day.

A Note On Developing "Next-Level Body" Language:

Clearly, positive body language plays an integral role in our communication skills with others. However, if you truly want to separate yourself from others, and master the art of communication - making the majority others you communicate with feel special and heard - you need to diligently and purposefully remind yourself repeatedly of what your body language looks like.

I have an assignment for you: I know it may be extreme, but I challenge you to use your phone and record yourself in a conversation to see what type of mannerisms you have that you may not even know about when you are in a conversation. Just like how elite athletes critique their performances through video observation, do the same with your body language. In addition, if you want to take your development to the next level, show the video to others that you trust to see if they can critique areas that you may not see or notice (like a coach would do with an athlete). Remember, sometimes you need to do unconventional things if you want to achieve unconventional and uncommon results.

# Do More

If a future employer or highly regarded university representative in-charge of admissions and scholarships accidentally walked into your school would you stand out with uncommon levels of hustle, hard work, friendliness, helpfulness, kindness, and integrity? Or would you seem like a "regular" or "standard" student acting and speaking like the majority? Perhaps you would even stand out for negative reasons - such as skipping class, cursing, smoking, or meeting with the Principal about your failing grades. Using the 10/80/10 principle, chances are you would blend in right in with everyone else. The employer or university representative probably wouldn't even notice you. **You do have a choice to correct this oversight though, and make yourself into one of the most noticeable and inspirational students at your school.**

Very few stand out with uncommon levels of energy and hustle. Much like an eagle in the midst of chickens, and fleas stuck in a jar from birth, most people look around, observe others, and work at the same pace and with the same care as others around them. We become a product of our environments.

**Being above average requires intentional self-discipline and a willingness to do more than most even when you don't feel like it.** For me, it wasn't always that way. Once I graduated from the University of Manitoba having earned a teaching degree, and spending a total of 19 years in school (13 in grade school and 6 in university) I was DONE with reading and learning! My intention was to fall back on my teaching degree, probably learn some more teaching and classroom management techniques on the job and let my degree finally work for me. I felt like it was time to coast.

It's no coincidence then, that the first seven years of my teaching career were basically inconsequential. I became of product of each environment that I was in. There would be no reason for any of my students to remember my name or keep in touch. I was average. Sure I would do some extras that were expected of a physical educator, such as coaching extracurricular school sports and running fitness programs in the morning, but I was largely performing all tasks at a level of least resistance - I did just enough to get by. When other teachers complained, I complained. When I saw other teachers slack off, I would slack off. When I saw teachers give up on students, I would give up on those same students. My environment ruled my actions.

As I have said earlier, everything changed for me during my seventh year as a teacher. This is when I had to cancel the basketball season because my players weren't attending practice. Although cancelling basketball season was the biggest failure of my teaching career (and still is) it is the single most valuable and transformational event of my career as well, because it propelled me to discover my purpose as a teacher.

I began to realize that I no longer just wanted to blend in. I didn't want to be a product of my environment any longer. Deep-down in my spirit I knew that mediocrity and I do not mix. I can't stand mediocrity. It was time to become a thermostat! Fast-forward to today, and my days look incredibly different than they did during the first part of my career. Instead of fitting into my environment and blending in with others, **I wake up and attack every day with a determination to STAND OUT.**

I wake up most days at 5 AM. I make it a habit to be the first person at school even though my drive is longer than most. I work out three mornings per week at school beginning ninety minutes before the first bell. Why? My students need to see their teacher chasing excellence - being the hardest worker in the room. How can I challenge my students to do the same if I am not willing to do it myself? It doesn't make sense. It's hypocritical. I told my students I would write this book in a year. It took me less than half that time.

**When you accomplish difficult challenges, your confidence increases.** When you realize you are the hardest worker in your class, your self-worth increases. **Overcoming challenges is necessary for success.** When students skip class, hand in late assignments, or don't finish their homework, it doesn't frustrate me because they have violated a rule or expectation; rather it frustrates me because they are COMPROMISING THEIR CONFIDENCE AND THEIR OWN SELF-WORTH. **When you allow challenges to defeat you, when you try to weasel your way out of hard work, your confidence diminishes because you are reminded that you are unable or unwilling to complete that challenge.** When you fail a series of challenges, you become depressed.

**To avoid the cycle of failure and defeat challenges every day, you need to make a decision to work harder than anyone in your class** \- maybe even in your school. Somebody has to be the hardest worker. Why can't it be you? I've heard it said that up to 85% of first-generation millionaires owe their riches not to their smarts, not to their creativity, not to their intellect, but rather, to the fact that they were willing to work harder than anyone else.

I watched an interview of Jay Williams, a former NBA player, and Duke University standout guard who was reflecting on a game he played against Shaq, Kobe and the championship Lakers back in the early 2000's. Jay said he took pride in that he was known as a hard worker. The day of the game he committed himself to arrive at the arena early and make 400 shots as part of a pre-game workout. Much to his surprise when he entered the arena _four hours_ before the scheduled start of the game, he saw Kobe Bryant alone in the gym, already in a full sweat.

Jay stuck around, worked incredibly hard for about 90 minutes, and then walked off the floor as he finished his workout. As he sat in the hallway, wiping sweat from his face, tired and worn out, incredibly, he STILL heard the ball bouncing in the gym. He peaked around the corner, and saw Kobe Bryant still out there working out at game speed! That night Kobe scored 40 points and the Lakers won easily. After the game Jay approached Kobe and asked why he worked out so long. Kobe told him that he wanted Jay to know that no matter how long and hard he worked out for, he was willing to work harder than him!

Many celebrities like Kobe Bryant, Will Smith, and Dwayne Johnson all speak very pride-fully of their hard work and discipline. They simply admit they won't be outworked by anyone. It is no coincidence that they are also among the most successful people in the world in their chosen fields.

You have an opportunity to be the hardest worker you know. Hard work isn't a fun assignment. That's why average people are not willing to take on the task. But I promise you, **if you are willing to make that effort and pay the price, greatness awaits. Go ahead, CHASE GREATNESS.**

# Ask Yourself "How Much I Can Handle?"

As a teacher, I have witnessed countless students try to "get by" with doing the least amount of work possible. In fact, some students had it down to a science - they knew exactly how to get a 50 or 51.

I would often reflect on these students wondering how they could accept such mediocrity. One day it hit me \- it's not just students who accept mediocrity as a lifestyle to chase. In fact, I saw many teachers do this as well! I have witnessed teachers teach the SAME lessons each year, never changing them based on their strengths and weaknesses to make them more engaging or challenging, I saw teachers get to the staff room as quickly as possible during breaks. I saw teachers on their phones during lessons, and saw teachers leave as soon as the bell at the end of the day went off. These teachers were promoting the exact behaviours that they were complaining about their students! They too were doing just enough to get by! These teachers were chasing the 51. **Just like the fleas born into the jar, I believe students become victims of the INCONSISTENT environments that teachers place them in.** Ouch.

What caused me the most grief, during my days as an Athletic Director, was trying to get teachers to volunteer to coach sports teams or be involved in extra-curricular activities in some capacity. Many times it was impossible to get teachers to volunteer, so as a PE teacher and Athletic Director, coaching many teams often fell on my plate. Don't get me wrong, I was often happy to coach, but it also made me sad and upset at the same time because so few other teachers were willing to help out. Teachers were chasing the 51.

My challenge to you, if you truly want to be different than most, is to drop the mindset of "what is the least I can do to get by?" This is the mindset of mediocrity at its finest. Instead, begin to **start asking yourself "how much can I handle?"** Instead of chasing the 51, begin to chase the 95.

One of my favorite hobbies is to read books and biographies about people who are extremely successful - people who are unquestionably at the top of their fields. **Successful people do not fall on the top of the mountain. Rather, they must work extremely hard to climb the mountain to eventually hit and stay at the summit.** After reading several books on people such as Michael Jordan, Sam Walton, and Steve Harvey, a common thread between the "best of the best" become increasingly apparent - each of them had an uncommon work ethic that others were not willing to pursue.

For example, after Sam Walton was already established as one of the wealthiest people in America, he still arrived to work at 4 AM on Saturday mornings to study financial records and prepare for weekly staff meetings. Sam Walton did not have to do this! He was the billionaire chairman of the most profitable retail store in the world. He could have been relaxing on his own private island somewhere, drinking lemonade, waking up at noon! He had paid his dues! But instead, despite his immense wealth, he was the hardest worker in the room.

Steve Harvey wakes up at 3:15 AM every morning to workout because he needs to prepare his body physically for his grinding work schedule which includes multiple radio shows, and preparation and production of his daily TV program, 'The Steve Harvey Show'. Steve Harvey has a net worth of well over $100 million and is 61 years old. How many 61 year-olds do you know who wake up at 3:15 to begin their workout regimen? I am guessing not too many.

Michael Jordan, the greatest basketball player ever, was universally known as one of the hardest working basketball players of all-time. He certainly was the most competitive, as he hated losing more than anyone has probably hated anything! Michael Jordan demanded that his teammates prepare themselves at the same intensity level that he prepared himself - if they didn't, they usually got traded or released. Michael Jordan would not put up with a "51" teammate. Never, in any way, do any of the biographies I have ever read about the world's most successful people, mention how they tried to perform at anything less than their maximum effort - because they didn't. They all asked themselves how much they could handle.

**Work ethic is the common thread between average and great, between mediocre and incredible success.** Think about the most successful students in your class; or the most successful students in your school. **The students who are getting 95 averages are those who ask themselves, "How much can I handle"?** The students who are at risk of failing courses and not graduating are asking themselves, "How little can I do and still get by"? If you want to be more successful, you may need to change your mindset.

Instead of just trying to get by, start asking yourself how much you can handle. Here are some examples that could get you started immediately:

a) When working out, instead of doing the least required to feel a "pump" or breathe heavy, workout until you are physically challenged - not to the point of exhaustion, but to the point of physical stress. I love leaving the gym sweaty, breathing heavy, and sore. Leave P.E. class like you just had a physical education!

b) Perform your job with uncommon excellence and hustle. Unlike some teachers, who do just enough to claim their pay checks, and fulfill their job descriptions in the most basic way, begin to do more than your share at work - routinely compliment others, ask how you can help more, or set aside times to mentor others. Although you may not see a promotion immediately, the habit of working harder than your peers will create a level of excellence within you that will be noticed by the right people.

c) Commit to being the hardest worker in your class. When your teacher tells you to study for thirty minutes for homework, study for an hour. When your teacher tells you to read a chapter for tomorrow, read two chapters. When your teacher tells you that your assignment is due on Friday, submit the work on Wednesday. When class begins at 9 AM, arrive at 845. When everybody else in your class is meeting expectations, you are soaring past those same expectations. If you are content being average, don't do these things. However, **if you want to chase success like Sam Walton, Steve Harvey, and Michael Jordan, you will need to be different.** The choice is yours.

Changing your mindset into asking yourself how much you can handle can potentially break barriers and open doors that you would of not otherwise dreamed. Why? Because **whenever you begin to act differently than the majority in a positive way, people will notice. You never know who is watching.** So...HOW MUCH CAN YOU HANDLE?

# Pain of Discipline Versus the Pain of Regret

Discipline means to consistently complete responsibilities and expectations of you, even when you don't feel like it. Some experts say that **discipline is the single greatest attribute that separates mediocrity from greatness.** I have heard it said that 99% of people do not accomplish their dreams only because their discipline doesn't match their aspirations - not because their dreams are too big. Discipline isn't fun. **Discipline often comes with a lot of pain and struggle because discipline requires you to let go of immediate gratification for long-term success.** Let me tell you a story about discipline in action.

I can honestly say that I demonstrated the most discipline in my life when I was between the ages of 13-15. I know that's kind of shocking, as most teenagers usually don't demonstrate a tremendous amount of discipline, but just like a growth mindset, **discipline is easiest and most natural when it is connected to your** _passion_ **.**

As I had mentioned earlier, when I was 13, I began to develop a passion for basketball. I attended a Gr.7-12 school that had a strong athletic program that permeated within the culture of the school - if you wanted to be somebody, you needed to play a sport. Not ever a fan of volleyball, the "main" sport of the school, I became attracted to and obsessed with basketball, the next sport on the school totem pole.

In order to make the team though, I had to compete against forty to fifty other hopefuls who most likely had played basketball a lot longer than I had. When I was 13, I was a basketball rookie. But nevertheless, I was up for the challenge. Much to my disappointment, in eighth grade, I was rejected by not advancing past the first round of cuts. To be honest, I wasn't surprised because I was well aware of the tough competition I faced during tryouts. I was now faced with a decision: do I spend the next year working harder than anyone else to get ready for tryouts in ninth grade (I needed to work harder because I had to make up ground on the others), or do I give up and let the dream die? I was at a crossroads: do I accept the pain of discipline, or do I quit, and live the rest of my life wondering "what if", choosing the pain of regret? The passion that burned deep within my being to accomplish the goal of becoming a basketball player made the choice rather simple: I was going to work harder than anyone in the school. I was going to choose the pain of discipline over the pain of regret.

Catching the first bus the city of Winnipeg offered in my neighborhood at 5:50 AM every single day is the pain of discipline. Standing in winter, in minus 40 degree Celsius weather, all alone in the dark, is the pain of discipline. Walking into a dark empty gym at 6:30 AM when the next person didn't arrive until 8 AM is the pain of discipline. I was willing to discipline my body and my mind to play basketball. As I got rejected in ninth grade and tenth grade, I was beginning to experience the pain of regret about trying in the first place. However, during 11th grade, my breakthrough, the year I finally made the team, the pain of discipline became a distant memory. I can still remember putting the MBCI jersey on and looking at myself in the mirror for the first time. It was like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. Experiencing the joy of reaching a goal that required huge amounts of discipline, including sacrificing sleep, and time with my family and friends was a feeling I will never forget. I will always select discipline over regret. Every time.

The day finally came where I was able to say I was a basketball player. Twenty years later, I am still happy that I made the decision to stay disciplined. The fact that I was able to play basketball at a high level allowed me to pursue being a physical educator, coach, and staff member with an elite and world renowned basketball program. Basketball completely altered the course of my life. I am convinced that had I stopped pursuing basketball back in eighth grade, my career and life would have been altered to a completely different path. I know I would be living with the pain of regret, always wondering "what if"? **The pain of regret is a life-long pain that never ends. Discipline is only for a season. The choice is an easy one to make.**

We all encounter the fork in the road at some point. Do we take the hard road that requires immediate struggle and pain, or do we follow the comfortable road that leads to instant gratification? **The path of comfort always leads to mediocrity. Through perseverance and grit, the difficult road always leads to growth and development.**

Although my basketball career didn't finish the way I had dreamed - with a college or professional career - my life has been significantly altered by my discipline to rise early and practice basketball when I was a teenager many years ago. I believe basketball lead me to study Physical Education in university, it lead me to teach students from kindergarten through grade 12 all over Manitoba, and it eventually lead me to discover my passion for leadership, motivation, and encouraging others to reach their full potential. Finally, it is because of the pain of discipline of practicing basketball when nobody else would, that lead me to become an author and speaker.

If you are at a crossroads, having to make a major decision in your life, always choose the path that is more difficult now, but will have more rewards in the future. **DO NOT SACRIFICE TOMORROW FOR TODAY.** An easy example is studying for a test while all of your friends are out partying. If you go out, you have fun, but could fail an important test that will drop your overall percentage. If you stay in and study, your immediate happiness and gratification is lessened by not going to the party, but you could score 90% on the test, raising your GPA in the process. **Those who live in the present, only concerning themselves with their immediate happiness, usually end up broke and spend their lives working at dead-end jobs that they hate.** DISCIPLINE YOURSELF SO LIFE WON'T HAVE TO!!

I am not sure where the comfortable path of quitting basketball would have lead me. And quite frankly, I don't really care. I don't care because I am living without regret. Like my decision to practice basketball, where can you discipline yourself so you don't ever have to wonder "what if"? Do you need to study harder? Do you need to work harder to get that promotion? Do you need to stay home and practice instead of socializing? Do you need to cancel your cable package, Netflix subscription, and/or social media presence, so you can use that time to work hard, study, and read to give yourself the opportunity to improve and chase your dreams?

I have heard people say time and time again that the worst pain in the world is the pain of regret. I urge you, discipline yourself today, and chase your dreams, so that you will never have to experience the pain of regret. **You get one life. Live the life you have to its fullest. Chase your dreams. Discipline yourself! I promise you, YOU WON'T REGRET IT.**

# Excellent Mistake Response

I once took a grade 10 student to the Manitoba Track and Field Provincial Championships as a competitor in high jump. He was very passionate about high jump and would work as hard as necessary to improve his skills. I never once heard him say no to hard work. He was always willing and ready to practice. When others aren't willing, he will pay the price required for greatness.

Leading up to the competition, him and I would arrive early at school and practice about three days per week. He would routinely jump the bar at 1.65 meters. No problem. About half of the time he would clear the bar at 1.70 meters. And finally, every now and again, about 20% of the time, he would explode and clear the bar at 1.75 meters. When most of his competition could barely make 1.65 meters, he was ready to compete against the best!

The first day of competition was qualifiers to reach the final the following day. Its purpose was to separate the pretenders from the contenders. To qualify for the provincial high jump finals, he was required to clear 1.70 meters - something he had done many times before. The conveners started the bar at 1.60; he cleared it, followed by successful jumps at 1.65 and 1.70 as well. He would be back the next day for the finals.

The next day, a crowd surrounded the high jump area as people anxiously awaited the finals. The bar would start at 1.60. A slow starter, he was able to clear the bar on his second jump. He cleared 1.65 meters on his second try as well. Finally, the bar was raised to 1.70 meters, the height he completed the day before to qualify. For some reason though, he missed on all three attempts. He was unable to complete what he normally could. On the brightest stage, he failed doing something that he was regularly able to do. His competition was over, having not given his best result.

Most people would have had an average mistake response - probably yelling, cursing, or even knocking something over as they storm away - but not him. He was different. He accepted his mistake quietly and positively. He didn't hang his head. In fact, you would have never known he had just failed to do something he normally could. His mistake response was remarkable.

It is no coincidence then that after the competition was over and the medals had been handed out, the Team Manitoba head coach of track and field approached us, offering to train him so that he could compete with Team Manitoba throughout the summer.

Why did the coach select him out of all of the other candidates who were jumping higher? I am convinced his mistake response made him stand out from the crowd. His mistake response showed the coach that he was coachable and ready to learn. When his competitors were loudly swearing when they missed jumps, he was quiet, already in line, ready to try again. There was zero negativity in his body language or words. You couldn't tell he just messed up.

**When you make a mistake, you have two options - droop or energize.** Most people droop. Average people droop. **Average people allow mistakes to defeat them.** Average people bring the energy of others down because of their mistakes. Average people would have left that high jump mat angry and dejected having performed worse than their expectations. And guess what? They would have had a right to! But, average people weren't approached by the head coach of Team Manitoba that day. **Just because you have a right to do something, doesn't mean you should do it.**

When you make a mistake, do you lose energy? When you get a question wrong on a test, do you feel worse about yourself? When you strike out in a baseball game, do you hang your head as you walk back to the dugout? When you get a speeding ticket do you argue with the police officer then curse them out when they leave, allowing the ticket to wreck your entire day? When you get into an argument, do you leave the conversation feeling worse? When your boss criticizes you for a mistake you made, do you feel frustrated and upset? These are all examples of drooping after a mistake. These are also all examples of how average people handle mistakes.

I challenge you to be above average. Be uncommon. Practice a POSITIVE mistake response. When I was a PE teacher, I would make bad officiating calls on purpose as a way of training my students to practice their mistake responses! If they argued, I would remove their team off of the court. If they smiled and got energized, they would stay on the floor.

I heard of a basketball player who was playing in a game that many college basketball recruiters were in attendance for, searching for athletes that could represent their schools with the possibility of a scholarship. This particular athlete had a horrible game - much like my student at high jump provincials - shooting something like 3-12 from the field and making a bunch of turnovers. To a college coach or recruiter, his ability that day would convince nobody that he was ready for college competition. However, one thing did separate him from the rest that convinced the recruiters that he was extremely coachable and possessed the attributes of a potential team captain...his MISTAKE RESPONSE! After each missed shot or turnover, he would simply two-clap...CLAP CLAP...his hands, then hustle down the floor for the next play. The simple act of clapping his hands twice seemed to energize him and his teammates.

Most basketball players will yell or curse when they cause a turnover or miss a shot they feel they should have made. Sometimes they will hang their heads, and jog back to the other end of the floor with a lack of enthusiasm and energy that will affect the energy of their teammates as well. Again, these responses are understandable. **It is understandable to be frustrated, angry, and dejected when we make a mistake or fail. However, these actions are only understandable because they are AVERAGE** \- because they are practiced SO MUCH in our society.

This player who had an awful game, but showed a remarkable mistake response was offered a partial college scholarship after the game to play basketball. A recruiter was so impressed by the way he handled pressure and failure that he wanted to have him bring that energy with him to the team so he could positively impact others.

**Your mistake response will either make you average or allow you to stand out.** I have actually adopted the "two-clap" as part of my mistake response as well. It is a simple act, but energizes me after a mistake to propel my momentum forward. The two-clap doesn't have to be loud and disruptive either, it could be done quietly under your desk. The two claps invoke a change in mindset - brush off the mistake with the first clap, then move forward and learn from your mistake with the second clap.

The next time your teacher criticizes you, two-clap yourself into a positive mistake response. The next time you give an incorrect answer in class, give a two-clap! The next time a customer gets angry at you, give a two-clap! The next time you get grounded, give a two-clap! The next time your friend gossips about you, give a two-clap!

Obviously, two-clapping is just a single example of **doing something physical to symbolize your positive mistake response** and pushing negativity away after a mistake. Two-clapping is not the only way either. If you are not ready to two-clap, try another method like nodding your head, tapping your lap, tapping your foot, and saying something positive to yourself, etc. Practice what works for you. Let me warn you, **you will look different and strange practicing any of these positive mistake response methods; but isn't that the purpose? WE WANT TO FIND POSITIVE WAYS TO STAND OUT!!**

# Epilogue

### Plant All of The Seeds/Use The Whole Toolbox

Only when you plant these seeds in the right environment will they begin to grow and take root in your life. You will need to soar with eagles and find spotters as you chase greatness and leave an impactful legacy for others to be inspired and become great. I also challenge you to plant all of the seeds mentioned in this book within you. I like to share the analogy of a toolbox to illustrate my point further...

A few summers ago, I purchased a driveway basketball hoop. In order to build the hoop to specifications, I needed to use several tools: a level, screwdriver, mallet, pencil, and a wrench and socket. **If I used only one tool, such as a level, or a screwdriver, I would not be able to build the basketball hoop to completion. The final product would be an unfinished mess. In other words, the hoop wouldn't have been able to FULFILL ITS PURPOSE of being a driveway basketball hoop** \- it would have been much less valuable with random pieces of basketball net assembled by only one tool.

The same can be said about the seeds or "tools" in this book - sure you can use one or two tools and begin building a better you, but if you want to meet your FULL POTENTIAL, if you want to achieve your PURPOSE, just like the basketball hoop in the driveway, you need to use all of the tools required for assembly. Using one or two of your favorite tools would be easy, but those tools are not capable of creating you into a finished product. You will need to use all of the tools required for assembly.

**Begin the process by selecting the tool you need most right now THEN IMMEDIATELY APPLY IT TO YOUR LIFE.** Just like the tool of getting 1% better every day, slowly integrate the tool box into your life over the next several months. Treat this process like a crockpot - a slow process that simmers the ingredients into a delicious final product. Too many times, we want results like a microwave - NOW! But, microwavable food is far less satisfying then a meal carefully prepared in a crockpot. Be purposeful, diligent, and above all, be patient with the process.

Assembling a masterpiece should not be easy. Building the basketball hoop took me a long time to get it just right. But in the end, **when you do empty the toolbox, and begin to use each tool as needed, your COMPLETION, YOUR PURPOSE will shine through, and be visible to others around you.** When most teenagers aren't willing to use tools to build themselves into a more complete person, but would rather chase immediate gratification while sacrificing their future, you will be building a work of art. You will stand out. You will become great. **Plant all of the seeds, and you will produce a harvest that will feed you, and thousands of others. GO CHASE EXCELLENCE!**
