>> WATCHING RUDY GIULIANI THIS
WEEKEND, IT WAS JUST CRAZY TO
WATCH HIM SPIN ALL KINDS OF WILD
CONSPIRACY STORIES.
♪
>> HELLO, I'M BILL FLATEARTH.
WHO'S THERE?
OH, IT'S ME.
WELCOME TO CONSPIRACY TODAY.
HAVE EXTRATERRESTRIALS STOLEN MY
SHOES?
MORE ON THAT LATER.
TODAY WE'LL BE DISCUSSING THE
BIDEN-UKRAINIAN SCHEME WITH
NOTED CONSPIRACY AFICIONADO
RUDOLPH GIULIANI!
RUDOLPH, HOW DID YOU FIRST VISIT
THE UKRAINIANS -- TIME TRAVEL,
TELEPORTATION, WORMHOLE?
>> THE UKRAINIANS CAME TO ME.
I DIDN'T GO TO THEM.
>> PERFECT.
AND WHAT DID THE UKRAINIANS SAY
TO YOU?
WAS IT ABOUT THE ILLUMINATI
RUINING MY FIRST MARRIAGE?
>> THEY SAID, WE HAVE SHOCKING
EVIDENCE --
>> FASCINATING.
AND DO YOU HAVE THE EVIDENCE?
>> I HAVE AN AFFIDAVIT HERE
THAT'S BEEN ONLINE FOR SIX
MONTHS THAT NOBODY BOTHERED TO
READ.
>> IT APPEARS TO BE A BIG FOOT
RIDING THE LOCH NESS MONSTER
WHO'S OFFERING A BRIBE.
THE PROOF IS UNDENIABLE.
WHO'S INVOLVED?
>> JOE BIDEN'S SON, JOHN KERRY'S
STEPSON, HILLARY CLINTON, GEORGE
SOROS, STORMY DANIELS AND THE
THORNTON GROUP, AND THAT WAS
OWNED BY WHITEY BULGER'S NEPHEW.
>> THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE,
RUDOLPH.
AND NOW MY SOCKS ARE GONE!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE
SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT!
