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### Luca Attrattivo

  1. ### Viva la vida

Viva la vida

Copyright © 2012 Zerounoundicis Editions ISBN: 978-88-6578-132-6 Cover: Luigi Pozzoli

To avoid every misunderstanding, formally declares that the places, the characters and the facts of this novel being also inspired, as licit, from the real life, they belong to the world of the mere imagination.

The author

To Fabiana, to my family, to the friends" those there"

and to all the people that persist him in his/her own dreams.

It is time that escapes, no fear that sooner or later it takes back us because there is time, there is time there is time, there is time for this endless sea of people.

(Ivano Fossati)

## Part One

### 1. Great in a moment.

One of the things that I expect me have to happen sooner or later, an unusual and absolute certainty that I don't know when it will arrive, it is the moment in which I will realize to definitely be an adult.

Mark was recommended with a sms that didn't leave space to fraintendimenti": Wednesday evening... 21.30... all in the Wine cellar. The have to speak to you. it is important. no excuses... not even you Paul... nothing sweeps of the last minute..."

All that dots of suspension moreover: how nervous.

Because then to concern me such a personal space inside a message destined to everybody? Because to put always me in mean?

As if I/you had been only me what swindled for appointments inderogabili.

David for example stopped working to an inexpressible schedule, he shot 13 hours of job shoals to climb on pipes and to install boilers. It arrived the evening with the distorted face, cursing among the teeth and thinking continuosly about for the discussions had in the yard with masons, electricians, surveyors and engineers launches; condemned to a working life as it was a continuous brawl, even if there is to specify that David would also have quarreled with St. Francis if you/he/she had worked together us.

Chicken, from his/her song, with the whole horde of absurd courses to which it persisted him to also participate to escape the boredom, it was not certain more reliable than me or of David. To quote, only in the last year, there were": The Softair", or to fake himself/herself/themselves soldiers and to approach himself/herself/themselves to wage war in predominantly wooded sceneries provided of special weapons plastic shoot-little balls; him" Jeet Kune Gives", martial art of recent affirmation learned by Chicken with absolute discontinuity with the purpose to learn to defend himself/herself/themselves in the case the usual Ninjas of passage they attacked him/it for an any futile motive and, dulcis in fundo, the mythical group" Fantasy", that frequented pure Gianca and that, as far as I know, it was the fusion between a kind of performance and the classical game in box, an eccentric around a table to tirar dice personifying elves, magicians, dwarf and who knows what other strange creature.

Speaking of Gianca, the last to close the group of the recipients of the message of Mark.

Beh Gianca, group" Fantasy apart", as a rule it was not busy a cazzo, but you/he/she would certainly have been able to delay to the appointment because dormant on the couch while it was looking at so unknown dvd of Japanese souls that the importer had not even doubled them, only subtitles.

How one fixed of the kind can you/he/she be had?

However at 21.30 o'clock, correct to observe that I didn't release really anybody for one" swept of the last minute", the first one to reach the appointment I/you/they have been me.

To wheel you/they have followed me: Gianca, visibly drowsy and unquestionably dressed ache; Chicken, with purse of the attached swimming pool (as to forget the weekly time of free swimming); David, with his/her usual impatient expression and the black sweater; Mark, reached finally with notable separation on the rest of the group.

«You excuse people but with Simona we have served a pull as the hospital. The usual ones delay sanitary, unbelievable! Make a banal visit have waited for the hours! I have done as soon as in time to bring her/it to house and flies here» Mark is excused immediately.

«It is all right, but is thing that you owed us to say of so much main point to organize all it is manfrina?» you/he/she has replied for against David, always as if it had hurry to return on the yard.

I have intervened «Zinzi, wait for an instant! Let's soothe us with calm and we order to drink at least. If you/he/she has sent that message will it have something to say, no? What do you have? Do you have to stamp the label?»

«Calm David, calm everybody! Now I explain you every thing, give me an instant to eat a sandwich and I adjourn you on the state of the things» you/he/she has specified Mark while Chicken and Gianca, completely disinteressantis, spoke of the last collection number of Alan Ford.

Is sat out there, in the small porch ache cemented with sight railroad, to one of the two tavolinis of plasticaccia made yellow that Silvio of the cafe threw out of who knows what hideaway on the occasion of the beautiful season.

With all the chic places" sees lake" that we would have been able to choose, we was bottled to the there" Great Wine cellar of the river", become with to simply spend some years" You Wine cellar." In practice a kind of casermone in which you/they perfectly melted him a circle worker with so much of field from bottles, a center of permanent reception for social cases and a real clandestine bisca.

A life had passed from what we had begun to frequent" You Wine cellar", precisely from when the coin up of" Street Fighter II", true prodigy to be baited with 500 liras, was fed for months of every weekly paghetta of ours. I still remember as Gianca, only among everybody, you/he/she had also ended him with Dhalsim, what lengthened completely but it was slow.

As has succeeded there it is everything a mystery today.

The evening of the news of Mark was a beautiful evening of the second halves June, perhaps the most beautiful period to be lived on the lake, and to complete the gratification was warned in the air a good odor of grass cut coming from the agricultural zone of the country, not very distant from the" our" cafe.

It didn't make the warm dampness yet and unbearable of August, and not even the deceptive coolness of April; in short, he was only also well with I wear a shirt.

Not as soon as Silvio has made his/her entry in the porch we have immediately thought about ordering and, as I often did for shortening the times, chosen spokesman of the group I am me. I have asked to Silvio that brought us four beers and a Coke to the thorn, our standard consummation from Wednesday evening, but immediately David, almost turned more to me that to the barman, you/he/she has corrected

«For me no Coke Silvio, goes of vodka energy!»

I have immediately thought that that pits for David a strange blow of life, since it is abstemious, even if a type of particular non-drinker.

He/she doesn't drink and you/he/she has never drunk anything, not the beer, not the wine, not even the alcoholic cocktails slightly that don't feel even them: but the vodka mixed drink to an energy drinks her/it, eccome if he/she drinks her/it. It doesn't bear varying and certain nessun'altra it doesn't bear the vodka by itself, it would do him/it vomit, but the fact that is mixed with taurine and caffeine and sweetened with who knows what synthetic syrup helps him/it to send down her, it annuls him the negative effects.

However, once finished that unusual ordination, my curiosity toward Mark and its official convocation was partially darkened by the fact that David drank alcoholic of Wednesday. Traditionally if it reserved them for the weekends or for very special moments and I felt like thinking that David knew more than all of us on the history of Mark and on what would have told us. Perlomeno I suspected that you/he/she had received some anticipation.

While Silvio still wrote it commands her/it, Gianca, suddenly waked up again by an apparent alone lethargy, everything is gone out of a hit, as if it was not until then speaking of other, as if you/he/she was absolutely inserted in the central part of the discussion, even if the discussion in effects still had to start.

Mark is turned to and you/he/she has exclaimed become impatient:

«Oh but is it what that owe us to say, do you tell us her or no? What is it, do you want to create suspance? Let's be at all to the" Millionaire" cazzo! Do you give, then?»

«Ah yes, correct!» it has bofonchiato Mark before recalling Silvio to order the sandwich that was forgotten. In effects it was a beautiful po' rolled; Mark, or better" Marcolino" as we had always called him/it we, was a beautiful po' out phase.

For a long time Marcolino had been renamed because, in spite of his/her years, it always seemed an eternity child.

Half German, from his/her/their mother you/he/she had inherited the blonde and thin hair, the narrow blue eyes and the white skin, ready to him to explode in red I live on the cheeks when it was ashamed or it became angry.

Gracilino as it was, he/she remembered some DiCaprio to the times of parents in blue jeans. Altogether you/he/she has always had an indefinable age, so much that every time that we entered a place to the foreign countries, the inevitable one employed-buttafuori of turn asked him for the documents to verify that it had at least eighteen years.

For Mark this thing of the age was a point of strength and you/he/she has always sustained that also when you/he/she would have spent the fifty or the sixty years you/he/she would be seemed very more youth.

Me however, to the idea to see Mark to sixty again, with the white short beard and the brat face, I bent me to laugh.

Before pronouncing any exceptional revelation Mark has lit up a cigarette giving life to a chain of emulative lightings typical of the smokers. The chain is broken once reached Chicken, not because it didn't smoke, on the contrary because it never had her. In fact the parasite is turned verse me with its typical suppliant face from" then I buy her" and you/he/she has remained to fix me until I have not launched him the packet hoping to center him/it in full nose.

«Simona is pregnant. We marry there before his/her child is born, perlomeno in common, even if Simona would care so much to the wedding in the church. To every way, you are all guests.»

Mark, with rapids naturalness and almost with sufficiency, as if it treated joky futilities, you/he/she has pronounced these exact words.

I don't know why but absurdly my first thought post revelation has been to understand if David knew him/it or if you/he/she had realized something before us. An enormous bother aroused me the idea that Mark had given him a preview.

I have begun to make conspiracies hoping that the two was met by chance and to Mark something had escaped in the discourse, for pure casualness; or David had met Simona to the supermarket and her you/he/she had revealed him/it to him among the shelves of the cleansers or the biscuits, unaware of the fact until that Mark had there kept silent the thing; or perhaps David, that was very awake for some aspects, had gathered him/it of his and you/he/she had persistently looked for confirmations up to get her from Mark or from Simona or even from both.

Otherwise because the vodka of Wednesday?

Fortunately the first one to pronounce him after the stravolgente news has been really David

«Cazzo Marco, that blow! Really I didn't wait me for him! And now? Where will you go to live? But do you buy or in lease? And yours and do his know him/it? How have you/they picked her up? Will they help you however, true?»

David was one practical, a job man, one that didn't ask questions on the emotional lapels of the news. He was attracted by the logistics, from the project, from the concrete parts. And fortunately he/she didn't know and it was not imagined anything of that that had just confessed us Mark. Yet that vodka that, after having received the news, it seemed me to almost drink with hurry as to want to quickly eliminate its traces, it kept on provoking me questions and suspects.

I Mark in effects you/he/she had wanted to tell together it everybody, equidistant and politically correct, in the suit respect of that that was his/her style.

Chicken, that always talked to blunder in certain situations, has asked seriously stricken:

«Cabbage, but as has happened?»

David has slashed him «Á. departs that didn't feel to say" cabbage" from 1992, but then it seems, that you macaws speaking of an accident to car. Don't be at all an ugly news! And then idiot, as do you want that has happened?»

Chicken in these things really it didn't make her/it.

Inevitable you/he/she has followed him/it to wheel Gianca:

«I knew him/it, I swear! That is it is not, that I knew him/it with certainty, but I was imagined him to me, I had understood him!»

Gianca always knew everything. Every time that leastly happened something of unpredictable, he knew him/it. The beautiful one is that he/she affirmed him/it as if it were true, as if indeed he/she read the future. Gianca was as those prophecies that become true solo when they happen. Type the twin towers, that if you go to see a triplet of Nostradamus you discover that you/he/she had foretold him thousand years before... Cazzate.

You/he/she would have had to make the magician in the local televisions: 899.266.266. magician Giancarlo responds. A turban put on him in head and him it told you everything, love, money, health. Least rate 3,75. to minute the, alone of age.

Technically you/he/she would also be touched to me to tell something Mark, but I didn't succeed there, I didn't know really thing to declare. I was stunned or perhaps as usual passive and it didn't even come me to simulate a happiness from what is suitable, a thing of façade to give a some kind of signal of presence, of pretense share, that would not have been correct however towards Mark.

I tried only to understand, with useless run after of mental simulations the impact that would have had on our friendship that news but it was as to have the concepts wound by the wadding.

Obviously you/they have thought of us the others to cover my silence stuffing Mark of all those questions that does him in these cases.

«You have looked for him?»

«You already know if it is male or female?»

«And when you/he/she should be born?»

«But as you will call him/it?»

Mark has answered industrious as a candidate to the maturity and you/he/she has clarified with all calm as, more than" to look for him/it" that child, had not done anything to avoid him/it. You/he/she has specified then that it was too soon to know its sex and that if you/he/she had been male you/he/she would have called Mattia, if female Martina or Cristina. You/he/she has added that the next day would have gone to sign the compromise for a trilocale recently restructured: 145.000 European, 440 European of expenses annual condominiali. A nest that his/her future wife and he Simona would have paid for 25 years.

Then you/he/she is stopped, almost of release, even if with his usual calm.

With the endless tempistica of Silvio, after having consumed well three turns of beers, two cocktails to the vodka and a Coke to the thorn (David had practised a sospettabile inversion of consumption), the sandwich had finally arrived to him.

I had still stopped and I had not told an only word the whole evening; in remuneration I had ended the three beers with wide advance on the group and the mouth it was me as mixed from how much I was smoking.

As you/he/she had observed David, that of Mark that became father was everything anything else other than an ugly news and I would have had to be happy for my friend; of certain it was not really the case to do a play of it.

In effects it is not that I was sad: I was not anything.

I didn't do whether to think about the fact that from some time Mark was designing this joke, but you/he/she had not given me so evident signals to psychologically prepare me.

Simona and he had been being together for 8 months as soon as and in that 8 months it is not but the relationship among us two you/he/she was changed of a lot. We had kept on making as always the fools, behaving us as little boys, destroying us of" Long Island" to every evening passed together, assaulting every female creature to the white weapon, also the latrines, also being engaged both.

Nothing was not changed and now it changed everything.

Honestly I sometimes asked me him when would have happened, when the life of one of us five would be decontrolled and who the first one would have been to raise he/she anchors him to depart toward the true responsibilities. However it was a thing that I postponed, as the examinations of the university that I moved in September to do from April yes that they were so distant from not to exist.

I had always believed that he became for degrees adult, that pits as growth of height. He doesn't grow all of a hit, happens plain, naturally, without minding too much us and until don't have arrived him it proceeds with calm.

At that time I felt instead me as a twenty-six year-old big baby, come on everything of a hit; pushed by the strength of the things that happen without asking you any opinion; an annoying feeling from fear.

Probably mine was an exaggerated attitude, I/you/they have immoderately been always theatrical in the states of mind, but I was done so and I was not able it stuffed nothing.

It seemed yesterday that Mark and I found us every day to go together in oratorical and now you/he/she was telling me that a child waited.

Mark has ended the sandwich listening with father's patience already consumed our comments and recording our reactions, understood my stagnant immobility, until the evening you/he/she is not incredibly relaxed and the discussions have been brought to the usual and tested runs.

For an effect of normalization that I would define impossible or unreal, you/he/she has shortly returned to speak of kick and of the Inter that, even if one were become" winning", a season was enough for her because it returned to it stuffed to suffer; then you/he/she has spoken of women and you/he/she is done as always it, in colored way and some childish; you/he/she has spoken of job and of David, that sooner or later would have killed someone in the yard, and you/he/she has spoken of cars and of Gianca, that told to have to change the Peugeot 106 red ten years, but it never changed him/it.

They are served chatters as cafe as if nothing of eclatante had happened, they have been being served ordinary chatters for Wednesday evening.

I considered absurd that an event of the kind had had such a fast assimilation from the group, however it was so and you pass as soon as two orettes from the formidable announcement of Mark nobody seemed particularly disturbed.

Before leaving really Mark is brought over-the-counter from Silvio and you/he/she has settled for everybody. It was not a gesture from the thing and he you/he/she has partially rejoined us to the idea that that pits an exceptional evening decidedly. Fact this, has greeted all and the other ones you/they have greeted him, even if only David has thanked him/it for the offered drink.

«It waits, I come! also» I have told him before healthy Silvio and the others.

We are gone out together of her" Wine cellar" that it was past midnight.

It did fresh, almost cold, and Mark is inserted a maglioncino of blue cotton that had held wisely on the shoulders up to that moment; I didn't have anything with which to cover me.

Before we reached our respective automobiles you/he/she has finally come me to mind something to say.

«You are happy?» I have asked him.

«What he/she wants to say? Yes, I am him/it, some that I/you/they am him/it!» you/he/she has answered dry and some incredulous for my stupid question frankly.

Mark had the sincere and serene face and, for how much the aspect didn't help him/it, it emanated a conviction of intents that to my eyes it made him/it very more man than I didn't feel me me.

I felt like thinking that so much serenity I/you had not seen him to him I ever set, but perhaps it was one of my usual exaggerations.

«We see us Friday or Saturday?» I have asked him without too conviction.

«I don't know if there am this weekend, I will have a beautiful po' to do in this period» you/he/she has answered modest.

«It would miss us, I understand you» I have made up for impeccable.

We are given the good night so there and we have gone in bed.

To house, also under two covers, I felt cold to the feet and despite out pits June and the summer it was near, I had the feeling that the times that would have arrived would have been everything anything else other than light and happy-go-lucky.

### 2. Me, monologue of me.

Every morning the alarm clock played at 7.15 o'clock precise. It is not that it was really an alarm clock to say the truth, used the jail cell, so I had the convenience to insert us some musichettas nice. From March of the year before I had chosen" the joy of the awakening" of Roberto Angelini. Not that so much the song neither the author I liked: simply I had the illusion that a tune so propositivo could put me of good humor and to give me that" joy" that from a beautiful po' it missed me. I/you/he/she don't want of it, but in that period if I/you had met him, the good Angelini, would have put under him with the car.

However first I still woke up myself with" This is my life" of Luciano Ligabue, but the results were cheap even more. Of fact I had changed her for evident incompatibility with the reality, because the problem was really that: that was not my life, not that that I wanted at least, and the guilt was not certain of the alarm clock.

I woke up myself to an acceptable schedule, pissed institutional and a warm shower, pits summer or it was winter, without soap, simply of I resume. Every morning I threw myself under the throw of almost hot water because without a shower I would have gone to work with the face type it disguises of" Scream" or" Munch's Cry."

I went out of the shower with the behind sleep that to work me he cancelled from the eyes, I quickly dried me, then I prepared the standard breakfast: mash of cold milk, cereals and five frollinis with drops of chocolate, not one more, not one less. The rite to make me a perfumed coffee with the moka I had been abandoning him for different time, the people of the wafers I was passed to. The cigarette in front of the social network to which I was enrolled was the preamble of a turbinio of brought closer actions: latrine, teeth, suits and departure for the office.

In everything, the time esteemed for" the operation awakening" it was of minute quarantacinque, even if I very often recorded decidedly performances more rapidses. I arrived on the place of employment for the 8.10, it is not that I had to make so much road; other coffee from the macchinetta, another cigarette, turned on the computer and street.

All days for five days to week. Exactly equally.

It seemed even me that I/you had done for a long time him and I was almost forgotten to have passed periods of mine doing other; by now it was as if I/you had been born doing that, yet you/they were spent only three years.

I considered me a person in the average, that a life middle rich in mediocre episodes lived.

I had expectations as everybody, ambitions of happiness and success in the norm, unattainable dreams that made capolino in a few sleepless nights, resolvable worries, worries that you/he/she would have been better not to face sight their futility, worries that you/he/she would have been better not to face considered their ingovernabilità, duties, accursed unbearable duties.

I lived my days completely absorbed type in to follow him some events, with the compromise of a job that I didn't evidently love for a middle Italian salary. I had spent anticipated and unexpected exits, a paid compact car in quarantadue comfortable installments and hobby and sport to be used in systematic way to escape per diem a few times from the monotony of the life.

Routine in the routine.

I lived in an apartment and that four hundred European of lease in black sixty meters sacred earth were worth. I lived there from March and for how much you/they were spent only three months, I kept on thinking whether to live alone pits the greatest appointment that I/you had ever taken, my greatest enterprise.

I have taken time before deciding the nest to leave me, some because I didn't perhaps feel the necessity of it, some because, also to throw the strap, didn't want to give me thirty years of loan with a cazzo of bank and to pay twice a house and a half his/her value.

I have fed in general always a strong resentment and suspect toward the banks and verse the whole Italian economic system. I have always believed absurd to pay so much their money, to pay so much their services, to pay so much their smiles when you deposit and their antiseptic looks when they tell you that he is sorry but they will take you everything.

When my father bought the bookstore, despite you/he/she dealt with a small loan, despite they had all the guarantees and the mortgage on the house, for an installment jumped to moments they brought away him everything.

Perhaps it is for that episode that I/you/they am me so inviperito and I/you/they have become toward the banks so mistrustful. It is sure what it was enough for me to see those publicities in which you/they affirm of" to be different" or that" I count because I am not only an account" or that" they are built around me", to make to feel me as a teen-ager decoyed from elderly and scafate mignotte.

I have never trusted the banks, yet in the bank I was ended as everybody there. To pay for putting and to pay for removing, to deposit and to save, to try to accumulate for anticipating the maximum possible and to load me a sustainable loan in sustainable once.

My mission had become: the house, my space, my possession, to heap up, to put away, to possess.

For such order I grinded the days all equal ones, I was given me a practical goal to live, I was given me a purpose to wake up me every morning and to go to do what I did.

Despite everything, I liked to live alone and you/he/she has taught me to understand how much my family was important.

My brother Henry frequented the fifth year of government scientific high school with the same exact impatience with which I had frequented him me. An eighteen year-old enough typical, rebel and indolent person, jeans griffati and signed plushes, seventy European for American a pair of shoes of cloth in the absolute conviction that the expense was worth the purchase. It looked me at every time with incredulous eyes when I assured him that in the years' 90 cost diecimila liras. He/she didn't believe me, yet it was this way.

When I was still with mine we often quarreled. I have sometimes released him a slap; once you/he/she has given him for me him, but that time I have not reacted. After all I have loved always him.

My mother, if he/she read in my eyes one some difficulties existential, it had an authentic sample of sentences to say, a manual to show off in you determine occasions with such a disarming timeliness and shoal to bother me. A harvest of reassuring words and comfort, witticisms of encouragement, pearls of wisdom recycled to hoc and disheartening mottos and you discount some type" You life is built on concrete and sustainable things" or" today's boys don't have anything in head",

I have always sustained that every parent had of these hits, considering him/it a kind of mechanism of guardianship of the issue hello to go off not as soon as his/her children stop being children and they risk him in the endless adolescence typical of our generations.

My mother after all you/he/she has never been a very different parent from the average. A young, apprehensive and honest, thin and uneasy mother, ordinate and rational.

It is a beautiful woman my mother and I don't tell him/it from child. You/he/she has told me that when it was a young ragioniera, to Milan, there were fior of professionals that made her the court. Lawyers and wealthy physicians that you/he/she would have been able to get married.

In effects some times I have also thought that if I/you had been child of a banker or an architect my expectations and my restlessness you/they would have had a different dimension, but to be sincere I/you/they are never convinced of it and however you/he/she has not gone this way.

My mother is grown in the Milan by to drink some years' 70, in a comforting and solid apartment of ownership, among street Turin and street Lupetta. You/he/she has lived with his/her united family and corrected a serene and impeccable infancy. Always cuddled, last of three sisters, has been educated and well addressed. You/he/she has been spectator child and therefore distracted of that whole history of the lead years. You/he/she has felt the stroke of plaza fountain while it was being to school and hearing careless the stories of the police headquarters of Street you are well brothers. Even if he/she perfectly remembers the face that had the people in that times, we have not often spoken of those things, almost you/they had not touched then her so much, its youth had almost been on a decentralized plan, sheltered.

In certain rare discussions I have not been able to do to less less than ask there her as has succeeded, as has been able not to take care himself/herself/themselves of all those matters: of the shoot-outs, of the crimes and of the bombs. I have tried me same numerous times to immedesimarmi and to ask me as can be grown serene in a city where the things burst beside you, where in the background the terror flutters, but considering today's difficulties to take a banal airplane, I have understood that every generation has its ghosts of company.

In every case my mother has never answered seriously to my questions, you/he/she has always rendered less dramatic and reorganized.

It is a practical woman one who is never interested of history or of politics.

For her the purpose has exclusively been that to create him a family and tirar on two healthy children and you toasts. This way you/he/she has done, unshakable fulcrum in the management of the house, of the money and of the concrete problems.

It doesn't come from a particularly rich family, but it generically says that they were well and it underlines, with a little comprehensible pride, that already in the years' 60 the television in the house they had him. You/he/she has known my father coming, from good Milanese, in vacation on the lake. You/he/she has frequented him, beloved, perhaps inclusive; it is sure what you/he/she was leaving him/it and you/he/she has been pregnant: rubbed.

Life channeled on two beautiful binary solid, few discussions, little metaphysics. There is who would kill, yet I am sure that after all it is what she has always desired.

My mother calls Ann and I has always loved her.

My father the television in the sixties didn't have him and, even if you/he/she had had her, you/he/she would not have had a house in which to put her/it.

The 16 April of 1953 been Born in Messina, you/he/she has emigrated to the north the 16 August of 1961, you/he/she has married my mother the 16 September of 1979. From years it plays to the lottery the number 16 in all the possible sauces, but it never wins.

Its history is the paradigm, perhaps some discounted, of the Italian emigrants of the postwar period: numerous family with brothers and cousins to divide him same names and same defects, come above in mass to conquer the Lombardy, near America, looking for a job that yesterday as now, to the south, there is not never.

Him unlike my mother you/he/she has often talked to me of his/her life and of his/her infancy and, even if it is some repetitive, I still like to feel all the histories that it tells.

He/she often speaks of the integration and than it was difficult to make to be accepted from" these here of the lake", and of the" terroni", that" after all the north has done him their."

What the Lombardy was not America you/he/she has understood him in hurry my dad, when it had ten years and his/her father it is dead leaving my grandmother and the six brothers Hemming to get by with the life and with the damp of this place.

In the years my father has told me a lot of histories. You/he/she has told me some cold, of the hunger and of the economic difficulties of when they were children, you/he/she has described me the thousand jobs facts, spoken of when it was a worker, the driver, the butcher, before he/she bought the bookstore where he/she now works everything. My father, in our rich relationship of some all, has explained me as a pig is raised and as a cherry you/he/she is pruned and you/he/she has confided me that once, when you/he/she played the organ in the" Crisalis", some reed is smoked. You/he/she has revealed even me the secret of as it conquered my mother, her" Milanese", but I would prefer to avoid to tell.

His/her strong point, its preferred history, is also mine, and it is that of the wood.

His/her father was dead from not too long, one month, perhaps less. It is sure what one afternoon of August, I don't know yet for what motive, two brothers of his and he had put on to turn on fires in the wood, so, to spend the time. You/they had found them at nine o'clock in the evening, almost in Switzerland. The three Hemming, frightened and incredulous, miraculously survived to the greatest wooded fire that the country remembers him. I don't know how has been my grandmother not to die of heartbreak when you/they had brought him them in that kind of farmhouse where they lived. My father says that you/he/she was pale while he was listening to the hurries of the social assistant that he explained not to do anything to his/her/their children, because theirs had been an outlet of anger and rather, to be comprehensive, because also them, his/her children, knew to have been wrong. My father laughs every time that tells me how much barrel you/they have taken that evening. It laughs and it tells me that, after all those blows, with the swollen and warm face, with the terror of the fire still in the eyes, that evening he has stopped being a child and you/he/she has become a man. To 10, indeed other times.

It is a mysterious man my father, not beautiful but fascinating, some philosopher and some child. Certain times I have desired to be as him, certain times are sworn me that would have twisted also my values not to be as him.

All now we frequently speak among us. It calls Stephen as his/her cousin Stephen, his/her cousin Stefania dictates" Stefanuccia" or" Nuccia" and his/her grandfather Stephen and, despite all of his/her defects, also to him I have always loved.

When Mark has gathered us to give us his/her exceptional news, mine you/he/she was a life that I considered normal, one as so many.

I was with a girl: Chiara.

We had been being together for five years and, for as the things they went, without rushes of any type but without not even woodpeckers of extreme uneasiness, I had gotten used to the thought that to be together us the whole life was in the gross another rather bearable routine.

There were moments in which I felt indeed me alive: a few weekends superlative, some trip with the friends, some unexpected meeting.

Once, seeing a film, I had felt to say that in a life the days that count were at the most an about twenty and that the other ones were only there for making volume. On the moment you/he/she had made me smile and I had found him true. To distance of time however to think that life was really rich of days that make only volume it made me extremely melancholy.

I had four friends: Mark, Chicken, Gianca and David.

Practically the friendship with them was old as the first memoirs, it went up again to the times of the maternal school, of the crayons to wax and of the lavorettis with the awls.

I have always been afraid the that something among us could change, but I didn't suspect that would have happened to brief.

My name is Paul Orlando and the 16 June of that year I was from not too long twenty-six years old, some certainty often built by other people on what would have been able and due to be my run, a lot of restlessness and altogether a lot of confusion in head.

### 3. Ideas of Sunday.

Chicken has approached to the counter of the proper cafe while Silvio prepared a coffee express twos happy gentlemen on the about seventy, already ready for a charming game of bottles, and you/he/she has summoned him:

«Panda, give me a middle beer!»

It was perhaps the first true heat of the year and the skin of every client of the cafe it was shiny and sticky, since to the" Wine cellar" the conditioned air was still a thing all to discover.

Silvio, justly assembled in his/her own job, it bathed of sweat the usual blue pole with writing" staff" on the back. With the serious face, you/he/she could seem almost bored, but in reality it was not him/it.

That shirt was a gift of the boys that you/they frequented her/it" Wine cellar" about ten years before us, or before they got married him and they built families disappearing from the world of the cafes as that for more correct local on the long lake, to rigorously frequent with wives and issue to the succession. The blue sweater, become by now an uniform not authorized, it was, together with the photo of an a little probable formation of kick to five, the only trace remained of that group.

I looked at Chicken and I wondered me as he/she succeeded us.

I wondered me as you/he/she could still drink after the evening that we had passed together hardly, the nth Saturday evening alcoholic.

Chicken was really of another category.

You/he/she has taken a big sip, of those that would have made to come the shiny little eye to me, and you/he/she has set out toward the table where is sat walking loose and fresh as him same making a scampagnata; then you/he/she has looked me at some second with the usual face some svampita.

To the table I sipped a depurative cold green tea while David read imperturbable her" gazette of the sport."

«You owe as cazzo to explain me do! Are you a sewer, after an evening as yesterday you still dare drink? Moreover are fresh as a rose and I don't understand as is possible considering that I have a nausea devastante! You are indeed a big child of puttana!» I have told him using the middle communicative codes that we held between us. Every time that I turned me to Chicken was my habit to insult him/it with offenses of every type. I understand that you/he/she can seem absurd or unpleasant, but among us the dialogues had always been so, raw and wild, and however he responded me for the rhymes.

«Day to your mother that the rest owes me» it has me in fact immediately answered him before beginning its usual stainless drinker monologue qual'era.

«You don't know him/it that the day later you have to do the recalls? Be so that headache is avoided! It is true, it is a scientific thing, I have also read him on" Focus." Practically it is the body that has gotten used to the alcohol of the evening before, and if the day later not him of it from the, makes you come headache, for spite type!»

Chicken was completely ungrammatical in to speak.

It was one of those that departed sometimes with the" if I would have." From small Mark and I had tried to correct releasing him to it a blow in head to every error, but with the time we had abdicated us fearing to already offend subsequently that very approximate brain. This thing to quote then Focus as witness was really a beautiful fixed. You/he/she had read 3 numbers in everything but every time that he/she leastly affirmed something of confutable, it recovered Focus as allied. It was his/her sacred text, his/her Gospel and in front of the nth farneticazione I have not even tried to contradict him/it.

David has lifted as soon as the head from the Gazette and you/he/she has said:

«They want to sell Buffon? They are crazy!»

But, still before someone could respond the usual discussion to begin him on the kick summer market, he was already rituffato her" Magpie."

To have been the designate driver of the preceding evening it allowed him to have in comparison to us an enviable concentration and it authorized him/it to ignore us some.

I still had a maddish nausea, not at all calmed by the cazzo of green tea in bottle that on the label disposition and rinvigorente it was professed, but to well to see contained only the 18% of extract of tea liofilizzato. Gianca had not arrived yet, probable that same anchor sleeping; Marcolino had not been seen him/it for 11 days, from that Wednesdays of the amazing announcement.

The Sunday afternoon was frequently more and more one day from survivors.

The evening before we had gone in Switzerland to dance. Not that the Swiss discos were more beautiful than those Italian, it is alone whether to stir some from the province and from the usual places helped the group to feel himself/herself/themselves some less frustrated.

Moreover it was common opinion that the Swiss girls had very northerly an European mentality: as to say, it was said that they were more opened, more available, more....

For my account, after having sieved for at least one decade the whole country of the chocolate, is able to categorically deny this gossip. To me Switzerland was suitable however, local new, new people, new figa, any indiscreet eye.

To go to dance was the rite of every Saturday for the others, of every Saturday when I didn't see Chiara for me. It didn't do a lot of difference the place, the music, the context. To all of us it interested to find the most greater number of available potato and few selective, but in every case, badly that it went, it annihiliated us of Gin Lemon.

Us of sure we could not have too pretensions, even if each of us in the relationship with the women was some to itself.

David for example with the women you/he/she has never known us to do.

Its technique of seduction was of a roughness and of a coarseness that could be good solo to the times of the caverns. It aimed one, it looked at her/it, rather it stared at her/it with an aggressiveness from tiger from the teeth to sabre, it drew near her convinced to thousand of his/her powers and it told her:

«Hi very beautiful, do you drink something? Do I offer you to drink splendid, do we make us company then?»

An approach of the kind I would not even have adopted him in a brothel for how much tamarro and boor I would have felt. But David was so with the women: misogynous, rough and inevitably lost. You/he/she had perhaps been beautiful if you/he/she would be been able to also allow him/it to board so, of similar characters are the discos but David full of it, dry physicist apart, you/he/she has never been an adone.

Alone Giancarlo was worse David's.

Gianca didn't see by now live some hair from years and that kind of history that had brought him/it to have the only sexual relation of its life was a memory dated of different years.

As that time went we have never succeeded in knowing him/it, Gianca is one of the most reserved people whom I know.

For all of us you/he/she had remained traumatized after the history with Marina.

We were 15 years old and they went of fashion the parties to the house, those where the objective was hard limonare at least a couple of hours, until the red halo it didn't come you from irritation around the mouth.

That evening Gianca had made the colpaccio: you/he/she had succeeded in being awarded Marina, landlady and celebrated. Marina was very nice then (before you/he/she fattened up and you/he/she ended up resembling to a sculpture of Botero) and Gianca, after a suffocating pressing, you/he/she had succeeded in doing her/it his/her. You/he/she had kissed her.

Gianca that time had been our hero for the whole evening, a king for a night.

The day later you/they were given appointment in station at 14.30 o'clock. We thought everybody that pits to put on together because it worked so, if limonavi with one to the parties in the house and in the following days you saw alone her in station again, he/she wanted to say that you put together there. Nothing serious to say the truth, histories of one month or two, disengaged things, party things in the house.

However at 14.48 o'clock our Gianca, eight jots of gel in head, were already of return to the Wine cellar. To think that for the occasion you/he/she had put on even a shirt, ugly, but if the put era.

In front of our interrogative looks you/he/she was abruptly pronounced and with a brave honesty frankly.

«You/he/she has said that you/he/she had drunk too beer. You/he/she has also asked me not to tell anything to any respect to last night, that is ashamed.»

I don't remember well, but David had perhaps tried even to console him/it.

Us no, as was he able?

At Chicken and I were looked there and we had bursted in an exaggerated laughter, stuff from tears to the eyes and ache of belly. Our resounding laughter had also infected soon David and Marcolino that if n'era gone out with a wisecrack as «Beh, could go worse! Besides being ashamed you/he/she could be reported you. or to rob you!»

It is even to that point to Gianca a smile you/he/she had escaped.

Probable that our true strength had always been that: to know how to laugh together at the our small sfighes. It is sure what we have picked him up for the culo for years for that history of Marina that was ashamed and he/she knows me that a pochino Gianca had remained badly there.

With the women instead I got by, also too much.

I don't simply believe pits because I was nice: I admit that my aspect made me depart in advantage, but it was not alone that.

I had the times, the ways and above all I understood, thanks to a dowry that I considered innate, the women's looks.

Two of spites don't remember to have taken of it of eclatanti, perhaps two or three in everything.

I was good to read on the face of a woman the intentions and to calculate accordingly my possibilities. I was good to understand if there would have been or no, dopodiché I regulated me: without precise signals, I didn't even try there.

It was a good technique because it allowed me to constantly maintain tall the autostima, but it had a limit, a fault: even I avoided to try us with someone whom would have been. Little evil, with the women I didn't have of whether to complain me, both for quality, and for quantity and however, even if you/he/she had gone badly, I was engaged. Once Gianca had defined me a" traitorous seriale." Absolutely appropriate.

When Gianca has reached us to the" Wine cellar", we have observed him go down from the 106 red with greater difficulty of that with which you/he/she would have been able to make him/it an old man of the hospice. You/he/she hardly woke up and surely you/he/she had not even had lunch. You/he/she has drawn near to the plastic tavolino white without greeting anybody among me, David and Chicken. Then, turning to the group, you/he/she has stuttered:

«You know, did I think that, considering that, does he marry, would we owe us, to organize, the goodbye to the bachelorhood, no?»

«Gian but does as cazzo speak? Seem ET! What is it, a telegram? Does it breathe, are you telling me that we have to think about the goodbye to the bachelorhood of Mark?» I have answered him.

In effects we had not thought there yet.

«Yes!» you/he/she has confirmed him in the middle of a gape.

David has lifted again then the head from the gazette, but with a more definite movement and scattante than you/he/she had not made few minutes and you/he/she is inserted in the matter.

«Cazzo is true! We organize a super evening: supper, handcuff alcohol and super puttanoni everywhere!»

«You, practically as last Friday! Beautiful night of merda that where you have brought us!» I have abruptly stopped him.

David thought that to go to puttane, was after all, more convenient than to have a real fiancée and you/he/she motivated his delicate conviction both from an economic point of view that report her from a point of view. It said that of sure a puttana gave her/it for you to the first evening, you didn't have to bring out her to supper, you didn't have to bear whinings and" headache", neither to remember you birthdays and anniversaries. Truth is that the sentimental model of David was slightly sessista, but he thought her/it so and we accepted its ideas.

Gianca, felt the usual discounted proposal, you/he/she has looked at David with the same crossed expression that I had me and you/he/she has affirmed:

«David but cazzo, possible that owe always infognarci in those taverns? We do something some original, that I know... we take a trip together, we go to some capital European, we depart for one long weekend. For once we try to go over the alcoholic ones and the mignottes, no?» You was evidently riconnesso.

Thinks her about departing it was not badly, the summer and the borders it arrived for estranging us from the habit of the place where we lived there were broadly.

Minutes we have been different to study the thing quoting the run cities and the weekends papabili.

I liked the idea to go to Madrid, I had never been in the Spanish capital, but Gianca sustained Copenaghen and David, to say him/it, insisted not even on Praga.

Suddenly Chicken, that it thought continuosly about in his/her thoughts, you/he/she has interrupted us saying a good person of it:

«A camper! Let's rent a camper and turn! Is the marriage in September no? We take there the whole same week of vacations to August and we make the goodbye to the longest bachelorhood of the history!»

«I like!» Gianca has exulted.

Immediately I am me chosen spokesman of the group and with solemnity already tested by a lot of similar situations trails I have exclaimed

«By show of hands, favorable?»

Me, Chicken and Gianca we have industriously mentioned the gesture.

«Contrary?»

«Abstained?» David has made a lazy sign without dissuading the look from the newspaper. Once more it was evident as he/she preferred the puttanes.

«Approved!» I have concluded the small mass in scene.

With that simple system of the raisings of hand, we took the decisions of group from a life. Perhaps it was some childish, but you/he/she had always worked.

Different it was when, looking at the culo of some girl, I called the" shovels" and all pronounced there type Olympic jury" 8.0, 9.5, 8.5."

«Good child of Helen of Sow! You have guessed one of them!» I have exclaimed turned to Chicken with transport. He has fixed even more me with a face svampita of the usual one and you/he/she has answered superb:

«Considering that idea head of tuna? Goodbye to the bachelorhood... trip... we do a" trip to the bachelorhood"!»

And while Gianca a little kindly invited him/it to commit suicide him, I have thought to how much it thrilled me that idea that was who knows as succeeded in giving birth.

From that moment in then I would have considered the trip, the goodbye to the bachelorhood of Mark, our rite of announced passage. Already conceiving him/it as a kind of" last action" of an important part of life, I would almost all have poured again on that project my imaginations and my expectations.

Often happened me to give particularly an incongruous importance to the future events and this time I hoped that the goodbye to the bachelorhood of Mark would have changed too much somehow the inactivity of my situation statics.

I would not have understood, if not a lot of time later, the course that would have had that experience on the course of the life of us all and I would not even have ever imagined how much that trip would be become unforgettable.

### 4. The closet to be moved.

To tell Mark of our idea for his/her goodbye to the bachelorhood I have phoned him on the jail cell. You/he/she had left around him because Simona has responded. We are greeted there and when I have told her that I looked for his/her man, she has shouted:

«Love is for you, it is Paul!»

To feel Simona that called Mark has made me come to mind when from small I phoned his/her house.

I almost all called him/it days, only to remember him that I waited for him/it in piazzetta at two and half o'clock to go together in oratorical. His/her mother usually answered and with fierce Germanic accent you/he/she summoned him to take the communication:

«Marko, teleffono!»

Making the comparison on the way of answering, I have thought on how much Simona and the mother of Mark could be different women among them.

«Hi Mark.»

«Oh Hut, that is?»

«Nothing of what. Are you free today?»

When Mark has answered, I/you/they have been vague and I have not told him nothing of the trip that we had decided to undertake in his/her name, neither of as Chicken hips good ideas could come to mind, neither of David that had very insisted on Praga as destination. I have asked only if in the late afternoon it was busy and if you/he/she could come to lend me a hand to move a big closet that I had recovered from my uncle. He is seemed amazed to feel me for telephone but you/he/she has not asked other questions and you/he/she has assured me that you/he/she would be passed toward the six and half.

At 18.25 o'clock I waited for Mark drinking a cold beer on the couch, to naked breast: a show. When Mark had arrived, I would have announced him of as we had conceived subsequently his/her goodbye to the bachelorhood and solo I would have made to help for moving the new gigantic closet.

The problem of the piece of furniture to be moved was not exclusively given by the weight, I would have been able to make to crawl him/it and somehow I would have made her to move him/it, but I had planted him in the middle of the living room, really where me, my father and my uncle we had hastily left him without thinking about ending well the appointment. Of however to carry out to a job of house in approximate way was a peculiar characteristic of the style Hemming. Moreover, to bring the closet in room I had to make two stairs and it passed us to hair from the door: already the apartment where I lived it was not a palace, with a closet to four shutters planted in stay it became as comfortable and habitable as an igloo.

To the 18.29 Mark you/he/she has rung the bell: German inside.

The sound of the bell has interrupted my considerations respect to as, usually, in the bachelor parties the effect surprise is always sought. It is never said the where he will bring him, what the program will be, what the limits of the party and the transgression will be. In our case it was some hard.

«Mark take you a week of vacations to end August that we have to bring you in a place.»

Indeed improponibile as required.

The effect surprise was jumped and the thing didn't not at all upset considering that I had not loved a lot never him the notorious effect surprised. I polemized alone, thinking to how much I didn't like the parties to sorpresa,e the gifts to surprise, the pretenses faces surprised of whom was not waited for the surprise and that indeed could not believe us: that surprise!

Everything taken by the absurd urticante superstructure that I was doing me, as soon as you/he/she has entered house I have addressed dry to Mark without not even greeting him/it.

«We go away. In camper. End August. For your goodbye to the bachelorhood. Take yourself vacations, I regret it, nothing surprise.»

Him peaceful as always you/he/she has answered: «But are you stupid?» It is in a flash I/you/they have returned to reason.

I have mentioned his idea of Chicken with greater calm and without any personal distorsion, I have told him of as we had intention to organize the thing and I have offered him a beer.

While we were sipping the beers, comfortable and relaxed, I have furnished the details that I held necessary to communicate to Mark.

«We take a hire camper, besides I am of of it very beautiful.»

«In the gross it also comes us to cost less than a classical vacation.»

«Then I don't believe that Simona will do you some problems, they are the last hits, from the.»

I spoke only me, excited by the spirit goliardico, from the comradeship that the common experiences as that you/they had always given us, but worried about not to find again in the formalities of listening of Mark an immediate consent to the project that we had conceived.

Mark has taken a sip of beer, made a small puff to eliminate the gas in the stomach and you/he/she has asked:

«And where would he go?»

It didn't seem been sorry, neither worried about possible reactions of Simona. Simply it seemed less involved than I was him/it me, but a novelty was not certain.

«Nothing foreign. The organizer of the trips to the foreign countries you are you, here it speaks of everything other kind of experience. We seize the camper and we turn there Italy, the whole peninsula, the whole coast» I have answered convinced, not even ditches a seller of vacuum cleaner in front of a sceptic client.

The different times when we had traveled together, Mark had always been the pivot of the logistic car. It was the only one to know the English, the only one that he/she knew how to ask whether to go, the only one that he/she knew how to ask whether to return. He/she spoke well indeed, loose and flowing. To him the assignment to book flights and hostels, to individualize the spaces to visit and those to be lived, to ask information of various nature and, in general, to sustain any conversation out of the group. Traveling with us Mark covered a role of first value and it sustained an assignment that tragically became arduous when Chicken, convinced whether to speak the English was enough to throw some" is" in the discourse, he/she asked to translate absurd things as": you Ask some beer to fall" or" you Ask if in the fry of sea there is the Pangasio of Vietnam."

It made to die Chicken when it articulated words in what sustained pits English. «Italianssss is italianssss, is biutifulsss girlsss, is cichens!» To spend two hundred" S" to tell a girl that she was a beautiful topa, that he was Italian and it called Chicken.

Me the English I didn't speak him/it: ever studied, even to the averages. Nevertheless I was enough awake and, after a first day of ambientazione, I was perlomeno able to ask how much necessary to survive.

I expressed mainly me using sentences of the publicities and titles or pieces of songs.

Once, to Barcellona, I have convinced a Canadian girl to come away with me saying her" Life is now." It was hesitant, he/she didn't know if to release the friends and me I have thrown her on the slogan.

You/he/she has done me a pumps exaggerated.

Mark, to every way, after the first account that I had done it didn't seem particularly enthusiastic, but without thinking too much of us on you/he/she has said

«But yes, we also do this!»

Ended the beer and you end the words on the trip you/he/she has gone off" the operation closet."

I Mark you/he/she has never been famous for his/her physical strength. Lower part and gracilino as it was, you/he/she had been a boxer you/he/she would have belonged to the category" half pippes." Despite this, the closet in the living room decidedly gave the impression to want to be well planted there if nobody had encouraged him to move him and me I didn't have other available assistant in the immediate one if not him...

We have put to the two extreme of the closet there. I have given all the necessary dispositions on as to grab the piece of furniture and I have explained to tilt him/it first on one side to lift him/it. Made the taking, a sign of looks are given for syncronizing then us there: 3... 2... 1...!

Hardly date the push, has warned the side of Mark to surrender, but I has not had the time to say nothing.

My friend Mark, that didn't possess in the genetic patrimony the strength of the northern heroes as Sigfrido without shade of doubt, had not held up the weight of the piece of furniture and in effects you/he/she had remained with the head crushed between the shutters of the heavy closet and the wall of the corridor.

With agitated voice decidedly not suited for him, you/he/she has shouted:

«Cazzo Paolo, raise I am me coso of back, the skull you/he/she is breaking down me!»

And when I have freed him, it had the so red face that, combined to the beige pole that had I wear, it seemed a Swedish match.

Surpassed the uneasiness, we are made fat laughters and every time that the operation retried one of the two there you/he/she was stopped by the impulsive laughter of the anything else other than it considered to how much awkward pits how much hardly success.

At the end however we have succeeded in bringing the closet in room.

To ended job I have opened the refrigerator and I have taken the last two beers in bottle. I had bought the cardboard from six the evening before.

To relax there at the most us we move on the balconcino of the small apartment to lease, nothing of what: sees provincial road. I have made a half gesture to Mark to toast with the bottles, then I have tried to give a hit on the neck of the bottle, the joke that makes to go out a sea of foam and it makes you waste half beer. He has quickly shunned and I have immediately realized that that joke succeeded only with a fool as Chicken. A cigarette there are power on.

«Saturday had to be us! Absurdly full of gnocca in Switzerland! The number of one I/you/they are taken me that seems the Canalis.»

«Yes?» You/he/she has said him.

«Gianca seemed the magic rubber band for as he/she staggered, it was full indeed cazzo, I don't even know as we have done to bring him/it to house!»

«Yes?»

«Chicken has succeeded in stealing some free drink from the counter of the cafe! If I tell you how much we have drunk you cannot believe there!»

«Yes?»

«David to moments does you/he/she brawls. Then you had to see, there were two that lesbicavano. You/they will have spent 20 minutes to rub himself/herself/themselves on me and I have also thought about being able to stamp together her all and two, but I was too much perhaps I tan. You/he/she has gone in nothing.»

I spoke only again me.

I have bombed Mark of accounts, reconstructing in the details the evening, the faces, the tipsy expressions, the unlikely boardings. I deluded me that it was a good way of making he/she anchors him/it active part of the group and, somehow, I wanted it tried a fund of fool envy for our liberty and thoughtlessness, for our absolute lack of responsibility. I wanted that he/she thought about being him lost very and perhaps, in a certain sense, it was as if I wanted to insinuate in him doubts for the choice of seriousness that had decided to complete.

I hoped that a few if it repented of it.

Mark however it was not already an envious person of his and it didn't seem to feel the lack of the evenings as that that, too times, the day you/they were seemed however later there unsatisfactory.

After the nth one" Sì?" polite, you/he/she has smiled at a way that could be of benevolent understanding; then I believe without will to be really critical, you/he/she has launched a wisecrack.

«Paul, excuse me the sincerity, but you still like all this? Don't feel the lack of other? Don't feel a kind of duty inside of you? Don't feel the need to push you some bottom the surface? And again, excuse if I allow me, but Chiara and you for which absurd motive been together still?»

Everything how much I dictate not as it was a sermon, it was not from him, it was not the type.

In a first moment that of Mark is seemed only me honest curiosity, he/she almost wanted to understand if only he had warned the desire of stability and serenity or if, near to the good considered age, also his/her friends, and in that case I, wanted more.

Then its words have me some spiazzato and slowly aroused a small internal dismay.

I have never borne those that distribute moral, the people that allow him to define what correct is and thing is not him/it. You/he/she has always sent me in beast someone who felt him very illuminated by to point out the road. Probably it was alone because I was almost always convinced to be good rights to involve me as I behaved myself.

The opinion of Mark however it interested me, eccome if it interested me.

He was not never then express in my respects displaying one some superiorities moral and, until then, I had always felt him solidale with my way of living and of sudden I felt me as betrayed. I had always been convinced that on certain things we were from the same part, that we were accomplices of our small pranks of our small poverties.

We were not him/it more and this all it took is to feeding that sense of separation that I had already perceived to the cafe after the resounding announcement.

I have done in disturbed way of not seeming, keeping on holding a sprawled laying and lazy; the part of that that will never grow because he/she doesn't want, because it has a good time, because it suits him this way.

I Mark instead, read the perplexities, you/he/she has slightly changed the plan of his/her discourse. Almost disappointed you/he/she has raised the dose, beginning the sentence with greater conviction, more impassioned.

«Paul, allows to lose that fills that girl of horns more than how much you/he/she has a basket of snails of it, you/he/she allows to lose that when you have the turned balls you don't bear her/it and the treats as you/he/she was any idiot, you/he/she allows to lose everything. But how long is that don't feel you speak of something beautiful in which reentries her? How long is that don't call first her to tell her something of main point that has happened you? How long is that hope to discover that another has have a good excuse to close? How long is that condemn yourself in that history? Is it all right, will certain weekends also be happy islands, but you want indeed this? Islands of life in a sea of boredom and adaptation? And for how much do you think about being able to go on?»

Despite pits the first time that Mark confessed me what you/he/she had come to think of me, its considerations didn't play new, they were perfectly rather thoughts sovrapponibili already done by myself in moments, distant from the synthetic happiness, dull, regardless and almost displayed of the evenings given not to think about anything.

«I didn't believe pits so evident» I have admitted not finding other possible answer; but Mark is not taken care of too much to hurt me to that point, you/he/she was probable that from different time he wanted to face that type of discourse. Placido, had waited for the proper moment to speak me and that moment you/he/she had arrived.

You/he/she has always had the gift to say what must be told the proper moment.

«Knows me that sooner or later will touch you to think of us! Sooner or later it will touch you to make the accounts with what you want indeed, I tell him/it for you.»

It was the only person to the world from which I would have accepted to feel to tell me" I tell him/it for you" and that afternoon has been her/it before and only time when you/he/she has used that sentence in my comparisons. To any other person that had told me" I tell him/it for you" I would have answered gladly «Cazzo you want? You day the things for you, that mine for me, say alone me her!»

Fortunately I have never done him, a discreet self-control has always saved me, because of people that" they say things for you" the world is full.

«I don't know... Questions it is clear that certain I do me her, but now it is one period in which I don't want to think about nothing, I need alone vacations, to depart, to empty me the head. The trip for your goodbye to the bachelorhood is perfect, it is the only thing to which I feel like thinking» I have answered, firmly intenzionato to truncate the discussion.

I Mark then you/he/she has smiled and you/he/she has asked me ironic:

«your l only thought in this is my goodbye to the bachelorhood? Some pochino you don't believe?»

Then respect my private life and my expectations, Chiara, the frustrations, the betrayals, have not said nient'altro" for me", also because I believe that it sufficiently felt him sure to have turned on the fuse with the least effort.

You/he/she has concluded adding «From the Paul, I didn't want to exaggerate, you are perhaps right you, are worthwhile to shake himself/herself/themselves the stress in the whole winter before making new programs!»

For the rest, sat on the balcony to take some air in summer, departing from the closet of cherry finally arrived in my room, we are ended with to speak in general of furnishings.

To furnish my bilocale had not been a great effort. More than halves the furniture that I had in the house were of recovery: the white kitchen with shiny shutters seemed new, but it had him in garage aunt" Nuccia"; the closet of cherry hardly arrival was of a friend of uncle Francis; the mattress was of those that you/they sell to the television, I had ordered him to a plaza and a half (it cost less); the refrigerator you/they had given me it mine; the television of the room was officially a gift of Henry, but behind that gift there were again mine.

The mobile specchiera of the bath, the table of the room-kitchen and the couch bordeaux in regenerated skin was produced of little cost of Swedish manufacture.

Mark and its stories made me reflect on how much to furnish a house for a family was instead a very more complex operation.

It didn't have intention to make extraordinary things, to fill the rooms of objects of design or best man expensive cristalliere whether to put glasses, dishes and so beautiful trays to be unusable. Simply he/she wanted, together with Simona, to make the harmonious space, able to contain and to stimulate the enthusiasm of a young family.

While he/she was speaking to me, it used words as safety and utility, advantage and guarantee, merit and adaptability and it you/he/she is not taken a lot because the conversation moved more and more him toward distant articles from me and from my concept of I furnish. In practice, in few less than ten minutes we have reached the evaluations on baby carriage and seggioloni.

Absurd as we were treating an unthinkable theme up to 15 days before.

You/he/she has revealed enthusiastic to have found in commerce a swing-cradle mechanic that swung the pargolo to the sound reproduced of the waves of the sea, then you/he/she has added to want to buy not absolutely it as soon as his/her child would have been born.

Before it went I have asked him if he/she wanted to stay himself/herself/themselves to eat a dish of pasta. Him and I, a fast thing.

It was not able, it had who knows what responsible appointment toward third.

I have thanked him for the closet (even if it is not that you/he/she had been so incisive) and we are put again to laugh considering to his scene with the head crushed against the wall there.

On the door of house Mark has asked:

«Then? Have you begun to write seriously something then or no? Hut!»

Hut called me crippling the last name of my preferred novelist: Alexander Baricco.

Rarely happened that it nicknamed me so; only when we were alone and nobody could feel us and to wonder of thing we were speaking. Only Mark knew about my desire to write a novel and of my thousand bankrupt attempts to dignifiedly do him/it.

«Eh no, I/you/they have been some taken» I have answered.

«Know him/it you thing waits to do him/it! According to me are simply afraid! Ah, but sooner or later that thing goes off you and will see that the moment will arrive in which will put yourself to write to a speed that don't even know! Have only to leave you some to go and I am sure that will come to capture her/it your good history! However oh, he intends, they are done your! You give I escape, hi Hut!» you/he/she has closed before going out.

I/you/they have remained alone to make the accounts with the words of Mark, perfectly parallel to the disappointments that I for a long time brooded. Ugly bargain, to the time of supper I didn't have any hunger and solo at 22.30 o'clock I am me definite to prepare me a fast sandwich.

I/you/they are not gone out, I was incomprehensibly tired.

I have put in bed fixing the closet and thinking about the note of novelty that brought in that so small room to quickly have become family.

I have looked at some tv and I have fallen asleep. Before closing the eyes, memory to have only imagined the partial relief that would have been able to give at that time me the being cradled by the sound of the waves of the stretched out sea on an I maxi-swing mechanic.

### 5. The courage of his/her own choices.

Mark had shown only what I had been brooding in the shade of myself for a long time.

After that whole discussion I was repeated me, considering her/it a hot priority to resolve, one of his/her questions:

«Chiara and I for which absurd motive we are together still?»

I have spent a fugitive day, using the job as mean to escape from the doubts and from the taking of conscience of the situation, but I/you/they have not succeeded there.

It was on first Fridays of July, it began one weekend that would have had to be enthusiastically and the time held blow: it seemed he/she didn't want to perfectly ruin the summer climate that brought the people out of the houses to invade the gelateries of the center and the walk on the long lake.

I have gotten ready for going out, but I/you/they are not gone out, again.

Ended to work a solar shower I had made as every Friday in summer, I had thrown out already the white shirt to short sleeves, the light pantalonis of beige cotton, and I thought about putting the infraditos that the year had bought before. I had to shave me, but in front of the mirror, before sprinkling me the foam on the hands, I have felt so indolent and so unloaded to abdicate.

I have put again the shirt and the pantalonis in the new closet of cherry, I have taken the jail cell and I have sent a Chicken message telling him/it that I would not be gone out.

From when Mark had put with Simona, Chicken had become my reference to know where it was us, where he went, thing did him. Chicken has not responded me, you/he/she has probably thought that it was one of mine" cans" for one" swept of the last minute" or as of usual it didn't have credit in the jail cell. I/you/they have gone soon in bed, with the beard to do and with questions to sting me together with the mosquitos. Different times are turned me in her" plaza and a half" and I have left the power on television without listening to her/it hoping to put to sleep me.

I have gotten up and I have smoked a cigarette without not even going out on the balconcino, I have directly drunk water from the bottle taken in the refrigerator, I have made a sandwich with the speck, I have smoked again, I have started on internet turning for the usual social network, I have smoked a last cigarette and I/you/they have returned in the bed.

I don't remember as, but at the end I have fallen asleep hoping that the night cancelled some restlessness.

There are some times when I go in bed with problems irrisolvibili that to the morning they seem me stupidities. I don't possess a real sleep solver, simply certain times sleeping I render less dramatic.

The morning later however the questions were there still all and you/they had stung me well seven mosquitos.

For this motive after breakfast I have shaved with the carcass on the shoulders and I/you/they are filled me with cuts: I seemed Freddie Krueger.

And to think that from teen-ager I loved to uproot me, it made me feel a little fellow. In effects, I have begun to shave me. It was the period of the baffettis of down, those that, together with the pimples on the forehead and to the odor of game, they represented the hostile peggior of every teen-ager.

As in second average I already had my beautiful turns of females, before the hostile hair appeared I had already begun to fight them.

I have made a preventive war to my development.

In the period in the averages then I washed myself in continuation, mixing three or four types of bagnoschiuma and I shaved me with razors it uses and it throws produced by the famous firm of the biros.

To strengthen the refreshing effect, has added once, some toothpaste to the mixture of bagnoschiuma that I used for the shower and me there I/you/they have washed all, understood the pea. Teen-agers of the whole world, don't do you him.

Passed the adolescent enthusiasms, I had come to consider the trimming a boring and frustrating social obligation, a thing to do against desire. In week I shaved only me of Wednesday, with the electric razor: it didn't come very well but I put an instant there.

That afternoon was Saturday, I was" of turn" with Chiara, and the blade was a hurry that despite everything I still granted her. I didn't like" to sting her/it" and before it arrived I am me armed with my powerful person razor decided to do a Carthusian monk job.

In the publicities the razors resemble to the weapons of Mazinga": 5 blades! Control and endless energy! I upset vibration! Bundle of light potenziante and pulsating"!.

Therefore taking the weapon of destruction of mass in my possession I have shaved.

I have just ended to massacre me the face I have taken the shower and I have dressed.

They were already the eleven and a half and I have put on the stoves the water for the pasta. Chiara was about to arrive and I waited him as I would have been able to wait for a penal trial.

She and I didn't often see us, not so much for our choice, how much anymore a consequence of the circumstances, even if I admit that to me it went very well this way.

It studied medicine to Pavia and November of that year you/he/she would have graduated; then you/he/she would have begun the specialization. Hardly initiated to write the thesis you/he/she had taken contact with the university environment of our province, the intention it was to draw near: to his/her house, to his/her spaces, to me. Once you/he/she had confided me to have decided to want to become cardiologist when it had only fourteen years and his/her grandfather it was dead of heart attack. Chiara liked a lot to show as for the base of his/her physician future there was a sincere vocation.

There were known through common friends, nothing sensational, she was a first year of university, me to the third one of my brief degree. We were sometimes gone out in group: people of the university, disenchanted friendships, cinema of Sunday, appetizers in progress, trips out handed, stuff of the kind. Discovering to like us, there were tied up not without perplexity on the possibilities to create a durable relationship. Nevertheless you/he/she had worked and the first two years together we had lived well indeed them. Of the first times memory her departures to return in Pavia. I would have liked to tell her:

«Birth with you my love, reaches you and I come to be where you are.» Even if I have never done him.

Until our relationship you/he/she has become tired.

I don't have memory of the precise moment in which I have stopped trying what I tried, I believe however that has progressively happened, to small doses as a vaccine some cruel.

I don't believe that someone had some true own guilts in this thing.

Certainly, Chiara was not a perfect girl: you/he/she was capricious and some indolent, at times snob, and from my song I had come even to substantially consider her/it a boring person and not particularly gifted, even if I have never revealed him to anybody.

Cynic, saw in her defects that on other people I would not even have considered.

Too times I had felt to tell from men crisis that their woman, companion, wife, was practically perfect and that if the relationship had not worked it was because you/they had been their those" wrong."

Way of living the history with Chiara had taught me that surely me" correct" I was not him/it, but also that not even she was not him/it; rather it was the" us" not to have worked for quite a lot time and it was urgent that we took some decisions.

To say the truth, more I thought it and more it was me difficult to understand for what absurd motive we were together still, we were so different.

Digging, looking through in the most sincere places of me, I had been understanding for different time how much habit was to hold together us. From very I had embraced the idea that in the time every relationship became this way. I had gotten used, I was confirmed me to the so many men" sad Players that have been being in love for ten years with a woman that you/they have never loved" of which spoke Francis De Gregori.

Truth is that a few years before, with a rush of honesty toward her and toward myself, I had tried to leave her/it and I had disclosed her, sure of a courage that I didn't do me, not to love her/it more.

You had bursted in tears and you/he/she had cried in a way ever seen, a desperation and a pain that it cut me, hurt me inside. I had tried to console her/it, but more I drew near me to a definitive separation more I warned the guilt to want to abandon her/it. I thought that without you/he/she would never have done me him and I have hypothesized even that distant from me you/he/she would not have liked to live anymore.

The courage that had accompanied me up to that moment was dissolved in nothing and that day, at that time I had heard the responsibility for its life.

I had kissed her, I had tightened her, I had calmed her and I had sworn that we would not be lost anymore there.

To as soon as a hour from the retreat we had made the love and within a couple of months we had returned to be those usual.

Everything had put on to place, everything had returned in our habit.

You/he/she should never be believed to be essential for the life of another person: it is a big mistake.

I regularly betrayed Chiara, always and only sex's histories with less interesting women however of her. I betrayed her as if I wanted to make the guilt expiate her to have me kept tied up to itself with the weapon of the affection, I did him/it as if adempissi to a cynical and merciless mission. Sometimes happened that I felt me coward or dirty and, to smooth me the sins, had begun to convince me whether to accept of traitor to be scurvy, deceitful, pits a thing that made men, pits a footstep of growth.

Chiara on Saturdays of July have arrived that they missed ten minutes to midday.

You/he/she has entered house looking around himself/herself/itself as an extraneous: you/he/she had not gotten used to my apartment yet. In comparison to me it was very less tanned and very more serene: the university life that conducted was of almost complete devotion toward the study, but it didn't give the idea to be tired of it. He/she wore white shorts to half leg, a canotta an a little open on the decolté and of the comfortable infraditos, white also them, that had bought in vacation to you Gnaw. It was beautiful without having to make a solo effort to be him/it and altogether it emanated an image enough distant from the typology of girl that I held her pits.

Opened the door, we are given a hasty kiss on the lips there.

I have asked her:

«Found country house to return?»

You has responded only

«I thought worse.»

They were fifteen days that I didn't see her/it, but I have not added other and I/you/they have gone toward the stoves to throw the pasta.

I am always liked to cook. I am convinced to be also good, even if the criticism from discordant opinions.

We say that I am some blunderer especially in the first dishes. When I make a juice I open the refrigerator and I experiment: I throw there some all in my juices.

To experiment unlikely combinings has given me flat savory as the carbonara with the spicy sausage or the pasta" potatoes speck and scamorza" or the mythical pens" zucchine, rucola and prawns." To exceed in the creativeness has also brought me to resounding flop and I can tell with absolute certainty that the sausage fresh mass to boil with the pastina it produces a yellowish foam and vomitevole.

Some years ago, considering that mine had gone on vacation Henry bringing himself/herself/itself, I had invited the gang to eat from me. While I was cooking I had asked to David to recover from the balcony of the sage. I was about to exhibit me in one spectacular" minced green" of avant-garde: basil, sage, mint, olives, rucola.

David the sage didn't find her/it and I had had to handle of person to retrieve her/it, without forgetting, from true perfectionist, to underline the ineffectiveness of my friend.

Sage and lavender, as it regards me, they are resembled a lot. It is alone that one of the two instigate colic devastanti, so much that the phenomenal one" minced green" from me proposed you/he/she had condemned all to a merciless continuous alternation to the latrine.

That afternoon fortunately I had considered that Chiara, after the trip in car, you/he/she would not have appreciated funambolici approaches and I had opted for a classical: linguine to the I crush.

Reassuming that lunch I could simply tell that I have taken from the refrigerator a bottle of Verdicchio, we have put to table there, we have had lunch and we are left there.

That small discussion with Mark the day had irremediably shifted before my numbness and, while we were having lunch, I didn't do whether to think to how much I would not have liked that Chiara was with me there.

It is fierce to be told, but she picked a forchettata of linguine and me up I tried to remember me how you/he/she had become an impediment to my comfort, a duty to also dispatch not to upset our sentimental trajectories. You poured him of the wine and me, bursts of small explosive positions, I considered to the lies, to the coverages, to the omissions on which our relationship founded him. You spoke of the examination of neurofisiologia and me I tried to remember me how much training had served me to learn to prepare the facial muscles in a neutral laying, from which nothing didn't slip out, any uncertainty, any discord.

When you/he/she has finished a long discourse on the competition among trainees, a tiritera that I had almost entirely lost gaining here and there only words, you/he/she has acknowledged my carelessness unfortunately and you/he/she is brusquely stopped asking bores me:

«Oh but are you listening to me?»

I have tried to make a rapids synthesis of the words memorized shed, but I didn't succeed really to recover the sense of that was telling me, so I have abdicated the attempt.

«Excuse, was lost in thought.»

«I see, you don't listen to me.»

«It is not that I don't listen to you, I thought to other.»

«Yes, from the, better not dir nothing. After all, if you don't even listen to me after two weeks that we don't see us it is evident that when I speak for you it is irrelevant. I don't tell you more nothing, so much is at random aprir mouth for you.» And you/he/she has been silent.

«Oh beautiful, are you nervous? It looks that if you are tired for the trip or for the study or for your cazzis, it is not that you can come here to pick you up her with me!» I have replied bored.

On the moment I was convinced indeed that it exaggerated, or that however it owed I otherwise handed in my comparisons.

In to talk then to her, I exhibited the hardness and the pitilessness of whom feels superior, autonomous. Struck by my reaction, Chiara has remained in silence and you/he/she has not even drunk more wine, almost she didn't want to take that the narrow necessary from me.

We have ended the lunch as extraneous to the same table of a restaurant but for how much it was right in to say that I didn't listen to him more from a long time, I didn't feel me in duty to recover the dialogue or to hand some excuses. I thought sometimes rather you/he/she had also made my his/her problemuccis with colleagues of study, assistants of search, teachers, companions and friends. I felt me more justified to be behaves me in that impolite way.

Then I believed after all that as always the tension among us would slowly be fallen through and that the air would be normalized. Instead Chiara has deposited his/her dish in the sink and you/he/she has gone off with an unexpected position.

«You feel Paul, if it doesn't interest yourself my life, if a day you want to be alone and don't feel like seeing tell me me him, at least I spare me the road.»

It had the voice full of bitterness.

With tested inaccuracy I have tried to calm down her/it.

«But no Chiara, imagine if it doesn't interest me what happens you. We don't already see never us, if then every time that I have the head for air I have to tell you to be home it ends that we meet there every six months. Not do worry yourself, are that I also have me my cazzis on the job. I understand your disappointment, but I assure you, I now listen to you! And if you don't want to return on the thing anymore, we change discourse. Do we think about the weekend, that you want to do? Lake? Mercatini? Tell me you!»

Not that it interested me seriously to level the thing. It seemed only me that to recover more agreeable tones required smaller effort in comparison to begin a reasoned discussion on the motivations that had made entirely almost me the life of Chiara of fact deprived of interest.

«I sharpen! Don't we ever see us and when you see me don't you even listen to me, do you see? You are already speaking of other» it has however confirmed her.

I would have been able to complete a further footstep, perhaps the last and the decisive one to close the matter, because the voice of Chiara had already softened and, despite it didn't show small openings of reconciliation, I knew that the truce, wanting her/it, it was not distant.

You/he/she had been entering my house for forty minutes and we were already quarreling; after all the thing didn't catch me.

I have done for saying something that calmed entirely her, then however I have said another of it.

«Chiara but you you are still happy with me? That is, but am we well together?»

I have not braked in time.

Ours quarrel were usually projected rapidses as sleighs launched toward precipices of definitive separation but, before the jump, one of the two operated the brakes. This time nobody had braked.

I don't even know how to say because I have set her that question, I didn't want, it was not my intention to go so over. Unbelievable as those words is gone out of my mouth: uncontrollable vomit, rejection of conscience.

Contrarily of what I expected me, Chiara is not leastly decomposed and you/he/she has begun, almost calm, a long discourse on things that you/he/she would have liked to tell for a long time me. It dealt with matters that he/she thought, it was to have resolved alone sure of it. States of mind that had suffocated for so much time, but still latent.

As had not happened for months, I listened with attention.

I had never thought before then that it was able of to confide me certain things, so similar to my bitterness; I didn't even believe you/he/she could think of her. Frustrations, anxieties, recriminations and disappointments mainly.

I had not gathered what had come to think of us.

«No that I am not happy. How him I could be? I am so tired to pretend that you are not a problem and that our relationship is not so compromised. Paul be him/it, has gone! We have to decide us, because so I cannot go on» you/he/she has admitted.

«Thing we have to do? What do you want that say?»

«Tell me what you want, but say him/it with everything yourself.»

«I don't know, is thing told cases as this?»

«You see?»

«Thing?»

«You don't even have the ability to admit that you/he/she is ended.»

The theatrical imprint of its words was not wanted, you/he/she was given by the awareness of a couple that finished the walk. Expectations, shared projects, hypothesis on the future, common perspectives: all in splinters.

Chiara while he/she was speaking it had the shiny eyes and quickly they have also become him/it mine.

With the tears to cover us the face, there has been a moment a fraction, of according to in which there have approached and we would have been able the same to kiss us.

That has to be the point of no return, the precise moment in which the fates of a history are decided, at least I believe.

Before the experience of a few years has prevented that we fell in a new trap of the habit; we knew both to have the soul by now polluted one from the other and with the broken voice, some laughing for the stupidity of the question, some crying for the value of the answer, I have asked to Chiara:

«Therefore we are leaving there?»

And her crying some strongest has responded

«Yes.»

Chiara has returned his/her home.

Before going out, with the swollen eyes in two, we are given a kiss there.

I don't know whether to say him/it, but that was already a different kiss, a kiss aware of the goodbye.

I/you/they have remained on the couch, in underpantses and to naked torso, a beer in hand.

A lot of things came to mind, I thought about me and Chiara to you Gnaw the year before, to the New Year's eve in mountain, at thousand o'clock you not at all quarrel, to thing you/they would have said his and mine when you/they would have known that we were left there, to its birthday, that would have been in one month and after years you/he/she would have celebrated him alone, to that time that the love had done in Florence, to the first time that I had cooked for her and to when, before sleeping, I embraced him.

I have thought about shed images for a good mezz'ora.

It was strange because, remained only hardly, I immediately began to revalue the whole run done together. I would have liked to be far enough already to word a realistic budget, away from the euphorias of the beginnings and from the bitterness of the end, but it was not this way.

My state of mind oscillated among the disappointment for the failure and the impotence.

Because a history that ends is inevitably a failure.

In more I considered, bitter custom, how much able had not been to decide.

I had not chosen, I had not had the courage and with true masculine cowardliness I had put Chiara in the condition to do him/it for me. I had certainly lifted a dust cloud and fact crucial questions, I had dragged her in months and months of antiseptic relationship and without exchanges but the idea to be able to have been so Machiavellian I didn't like at all it, rather it bumped me the pride. Reasoning, I have realized that I would have had to appropriate sooner or later my life, but the thing frightened me a dog and as always I has put in standstill, postponing every sbilanciamento on the to make himself/herself/themselves..

I have ended the beer and I have cried to I hijack.

In an indefinite moment of the day I have fallen asleep on the couch; when I wake up I have still cried.

Fortunately, crying and sleeping, you/he/she has arrived evening.

I/you/they are not gone out; evenings sovrapponibili mine, family states of indolence and abandonment, sadness, attended perhaps surely. Then however, definitely sleeping, I have stopped crying.

### 6. Therapy of bump.

Also the Sunday I/you/they have remained home. I have spent the whole weekend between bed and couch, feeding me of affected and frozen and looking as much, too television. The beard is grown me with an unusual speed, so much that, if I/you had made to spend a few other days without shaving me, I would have become equal to Tom Hanks in Cast Away.

My mother has called Sunday morning to ask me if Chiara and I wanted to have lunch from them: I have not told her nothing, but I have declined the invitation saying her that we had decided to go to the outlet of Serravalle and that we would have departed before lunch.

There has never been to Serravalle, however it is my preferred excuse.

When they invite me to do something that really it doesn't suit me I always say:

«I regret so much but I go to Serravalle for purchases.» Then if someone asks me «Thing you have taken to Serravalle?» I answer that «I have not found anything, all garbage.»

I always pass for the fool that he makes centocinquanta kilometers not to buy anything but I don't care, it is an excuse that holds up.

You/he/she has also called Chicken Sunday to ask if Chiara went soon away and we could eat us a pizza together us two. You/he/she has also spoken of a rental convenient camper, a place where you/he/she had bought the trailer one colleague of his and where sure could be to put us in good hands.

Chicken hips I have not said anything, it didn't suit me to tell nothing anybody.

Generally I am not a reserved person but in that occasion I desired mend me from the whole social fabric that I had around. I saw my house as a cave and I felt me sure as more I was away from other people's opinions. I have explained to Chicken that I was not able, without justifying me, and I have given him white paper for the rental of the mean telling him that, if for him it was all right, it was all right for everybody. The stamp of voice of Chicken has lost enthusiasm, but you/he/she has not made particular comments and you/he/she has not wanted to know other.

There are some things that should never be done when he goes out of a history: I have done her everybody.

A vein of masochism that I bring for a long time me inside, sustained the conviction that if I/you had suffered of ugly I would immediately have been before better. I have hoped of" to recover" the first possible and for the therapy I have turned to the" Doctor Musica" selecting from the musical file the best in my possession for the instigation to the suicide.

At four o'clock in the afternoon I observed, well prepared on the table of the room, all the photos with Chiara, listening to Massimo Ranieri in" to Lose the love": a combo devastante.

I have passed in the stereo different songs that I considered therapeuticses and it didn't surprise me the facility that I had in to find proper titles for my state of mind, rather I was delighted me to consider, how much the end of a love story, pits common inspiration for different authors at times.

Taken by the whole emotionalism that I found in the music, the computer I have put to and I have tried to write something.

By now they were months that I wrote, I almost made him/it every evening.

I began a page of a story that spoke of Africa or of a group of friends or a barkeeper of district, I framed the ambientazione, I delineated the characters and the interlacement that their actions would have created, I began the layout with a sentence that for some motive it seemed me more proper than others, I went on a pezzettino and... I cancelled. Considered something are not more never me that an amateur of the gesture; I believed whether to write pits something poetic, besides being a formidable model of auto-analysis. I minded not having trace some of so many small constructions done with the letters, but it thrilled me the idea that every time departing from a white sheet on the screen, I would have had endless possibilities to create again something.

Besides to already take back with devotion a run initiate would have meant to exclude others of it and you/he/she would have brought me to the writing it approves how I hock, promise, while I wanted to write only for escaping some.

I had reached even the point to write us on this thing: it disperses her, the history of a novelist that he/she works every night and it cancels every morning Penelope of a book that he/she will never read.

A character of the kind yes that I would do him/it commit suicide.

That Sunday afternoon I have written so much and I have not written anything, as usual. While I was writing, of the irony of Mark I have remembered that Hut called me and that indeed he/she thought perhaps that I would never have written anything. It didn't bother me the idea that Mark considered me incapable to bring defeasible something, rather you/he/she dried me to be so aware than you/he/she was right. However after having reread the beginning of a history that spoke of a city where people are unhappy because you/he/she cannot die, I have cancelled only the everything with determination with a finger and I/you/they are gone out on the balcony to smoke.

The selected music still filled the apartment and covered the foundation of crickets in summer and of heat that arrived from the road. A song described better than others the end of the run, the drift of the trip that we had made Chiara and I. I have listened to her different times following and later, going in bed as a pensioner to seven o'clock in the evening, I considered to the words of the text and I felt me some lightest.

It chooses us to do us him some in company, this trip in which is not crossed again by the by.

At 20.00 o'clock I already slept.

Monday now wakes up to the usual one to go to the usual job and, as a curse, has discovered that that would have been the classical day" Malpredi."

It was a thing that we had invented Mark and I to the high school: the days" Malpredi" they were for us the days sfigate, those that, where you move you you move you, you make a cazzata. When you beat with the ditone of the foot against the leg of the chair, even as soon as awake; when you realize you that you have ended the toothpaste and you don't have in the house of it; when in to go out of the parking lot of house, manoeuvre sort a million times, lines the car.

The name is in honor of the great teacher of philosophy of the fifth B" Vittorio Malpredi", man known to the chronicles for its awkwardness, able to get dirty once himself/herself/themselves at least to week drinking the coffee, only to the world able to put under the headmaster making reverse. Glorious man.

In my day Malpredi of Monday has succeeded in the order to: 1) to instigate a principle of fire in the house, turning on the big stove without minding the presence on the same of an angle of tablecloth; 2) to break the switch of the box of mail in the special lock; 3) to forget cigarettes and badge to house, arriving of it unprovided to the job.

To the job then, the cosmic conspiracy has left even more space to an insidious sore: the gossip. It is unbelievable as the people with which you share the place of employment individualizes your states of mind and your moments of difficulty with phenomenal intuition. The firm where I worked then me it was a center of training for specialized bloodhounds.

With the moral one in bad state I had gone to the alone job for duty of service, trying not to give any skirmish of the internal crisis that was tormenting me. Before entering I was given me a rule of survival for the day: not to make to shine through in any way and for any motive that moment of uneasiness. Sure to succeed, I was convinced to be able to simulate the same movements and the same attitudes of every day with built boldness. To the limit, I would be seemed only some most silent of the usual one.

The first meeting of the morning I have done him in front of the atrium. I have met Gianna, the panterona of the office purchases. Gianna had been working within there for very more time of me and was a non beautiful cinquantenne but estate and shine as an auto of epoch, with a sexual life rather discussed. With the black hair, curly and the red plastic glasses, remembered the girl Woodland of Fantozzi but slightly in better. You/he/she was drinking the coffee to the automatic distributors and, as soon as I/you/they have entered, you/he/she has greeted me with a wide smile of teeth made yellow by the tannins and by the cigarettes. I am certain to simply have answered her «Hi Gianna» in hasty way to wriggle me from the look that it already seemed me curious, then I have set out toward the office.

Yet I have not done in time to call the elevator that she has passed close to me to observe me.

«Paul, but that dark face, has slept badly? Are you angry or is it you dead the cat? Ah these young people of today...»

«Ugly sow with the yellow teeth that you have made to sweep here from dogs and hogs inside, but that cazzo you want from me? Because you don't hang yourself instead of breaking me the coglionis?» I would have liked to answer, but in effects I have confined to a more banal «No, nothing of what, I am sleepy only.»

Before the door of the elevator was closed among us coming me in help, Gianna you/he/she has given me another of its pearls.

«Eh him, these boys, as it is said: to the evening lions to the morning coglioni!»

Tried to behead her/it with the flowing doors of the elevator, I have smiled instead for inactivity and I have greeted again her.

Gianna was alone before her.

In the order: Mirella of the operator, Patrician of the accounting, doctor Pigozzi and even Paolona of the cleanings has reserved me comments on my way of involving me, for them who knows because anomalous.

«Oh, but that you have?»

«Everything well Paul? You are strange today.»

«But are you sick, do you want a hand?»

They seemed all sincerely worried and I suffered that curiosity malcelata and seasoned by reassuring smiles, that small movements of comfort, those postures open of disinterested availability with the same impatience that I would have been able to try in front of a team of insurers intents in to propose me a policy life.

Realizing something from my scarce way to disguise the things, all they wanted to know, all were curious to understand what it upset me and, sopratutto, all cannot wait to say theirs.

However I withstood entrenching me behind the execution of the usual gestures, or holding opened the window of the ordinary accounting and playing to Spider with the computer.

As long as to a line you/he/she has opened of release the door of the office and you/he/she has entered scene my nightmare.

«Hi Hemming! You/they have told me that you are angry. Oh, then I leave you alone, otherwise you eat me!» He/she took service the worse one of all: Francis De Bridges.

After three years in firm I had come to try for that person an absolute, total, unconditional hostility. I didn't bear nothing of him, not the his/her wide stempiatura and his/her thin hair, I moved and greasy; not the his/her heavy and oscillating falcade of when it walked for the corridors; not the scanty and flat stamp of his/her voice, neither his/her way of dressing few creative and Baroque, neither the odor of juice with too onion that emanated. I had nicknamed him, exploiting the congenial initials FDP.

In effects Francis De Bridges it was indeed a big FDP.

One of the most servile people, falsely modest and social climber that I have ever known. One that had done only that few of career thanks to the minx how much false availability toward the superior. So much good to do everything possible upward himself/herself/themselves, how much able to turn himself/herself/themselves into an unbelievable bastard toward the subordinates.

In firm the relationships between me and FDP were well defined: performs sovrapponibili, a position paritaria in the business organization chart, shared the same office, the same great desk of white ant, the same photocopier. Null'altro.

Nevertheless, to the beginning of my working career I had suffered the nature dominator and the annoying vice to delegate the appointments that he took only for gratifying Doctor Pigozzi. Fortunately, in the time, I have made hard and impenetrable.

I believe that it fed an immoderate envy for my natural magnetism toward the women, despite you/he/she was gotten married and his/her wife even though a beautiful woman; stupid as him, but beautiful.

When you/he/she has entered that morning, I would have liked to answer to the head of cazzo with which it was my turn to divide the office that, if the fact I/you had been really angry that he came to pick me in that way, saying with that sorrisinos false «Otherwise you eat me» you/he/she would have been the cause of his immediate death for my hand.

I have given a further tear instead to the roll of the patience and I have answered:

«No, no, calm Francis, eaten never anybody. However I am not angry.»

And I have started again on the computer.

In the hours of the morning that passed lens how come, the discrepancy between the thoughts and the actions widened. I would have had to keep on dressing the bitter reflections with covers of smiles, but to the eleven and a quarter I have irremediably jeopardized the week. I didn't bear the eyes of FDP that aldilàs of our common desk studied me anymore. The bastard continually lifted the head from the few issues on his/her part of bench, incessantly and with malignant and fleeing eyes.

And when you/he/she has asked «Paul we drink a coffee? This way thing tells me it upsets yourself!» I have looked at him hard and I have answered him with frankness.

«You feel Francis, in this weekend I/you/they are left me with Chiara. You know him/it, they were five years that we were together and, normally, me will want us an instant to take back me. After all it is everything one period some incasinato. Some beaten I am alone, I ask today only some silence and solo. We serve a truce as our continuous rivalry, only for today, and that I/you/he/she remain among us please.»

«Ok, understands!» you/he/she has answered without making to slip out signs of gratification.

For the first one FDP votes it is me even seemed able to be" normal."

At five and half o'clock, now in which usually went out from the office, even Kamil, worker to contract near the building enterprise that was restructuring the third floor, cingalese, in Italy from 15 days, 18 words of Italian in everything, knew that Chiara and I, my fiancée from five years, was left there.

I desired only that FDP and the virus Ebolas met him.

For the whole day, hand by hand that the news turned, whoever is felt in duty to come to marcar it now visits also to give me pearls of wisdom ever felt before.

«Dead a pope... You closes a door... It was not that correct... Even it is a reversing thing... You are young... The women are all puttanes... For me it has another... Now however you can have a good time you....»

A nightmare.

I wanted only to work, in silence, but I have listened to all, for the whole day, without never giving signs of impatience. You/he/she has been an exercise of auto hard control.

Returned home, after the shower, I have called Susan and we are given appointment to the usual place there.

Susan was alone: you/he/she was my shelter, my original sin, my escape.

I had known her three years before, when he/she worked for the summer period in a cafe: blonde caschetto, thin body, light but present breast, neck to be kissed. Ten years older than me, a husband that worked to the foreign countries and two children. To the beginning it had practically fact everything her: you/he/she had looked for me, seduced, made enslaved. The first times, when I had needed her I had directly gone his/her home, but not as soon as Michael, the first one of his/her children, had been enough great to understand, we had begun to frequent the motels. We always found us in the same place, in front of an industrial area by now low, and I remember that waited him in car as I was a criminal trying to recognize the moment of his/her arrival from the lighthouses of the cars that passed. The desire to complete the sin, the disgust not to succeed in staying himself/herself/themselves. When it arrived we didn't even greet there, only a sign before departing. Each with his/her own auto and his/her own thoughts.

Nobody knew about us, not even Mark. I considered the meetings with Susan as on a detached plan, parallel to my life but the same far. She and I met there in an inviolable dimension.

Susan was not only for me a beautiful woman that showed less than the years that you/he/she had; of her I saw the brittleness and the loneliness, of her I esteemed the ability to be standing however, in all the facets of the existence, of her I appreciated the solidity of the intentions and the absolute absence of repentance when she took a decision.

With her I have made all the sex that I have desired. What I have never dared to ask to a woman I have asked him to her. We are not never there data rules, nothing filters, nothing conventions. We are unloaded the weight of the mutual bad moods on the skin there. Sweeping wildly, we are calmed the wounds for three years there.

Thinking about our situation, I remembered as for me twenty years it disgusted me to think that under the appearance of a normal environment, in a normal context, in the life of the normal people, you/they could be buried ambiguities and poverty, secret and desolation. Now that felt me absorbed in that objectivity as a character of American Beauty or Eyes wide shut, the disgust had become me tolerable, even family.

I have tried different times to truncate with Susan, perhaps for Chiara, perhaps for that residual of Catholic education that made me feel the guilt as an unbearable weight on the soul, probably because I have always known that it was a wrong thing, intrinsically wrong.

Every time that I saw her/it I swore me that you/he/she would have been the last and I communicated her the decision as it was incontrovertible. You laughed me in face, aware that would have returned.

I returned from her swearing again me that you/he/she would have been the last time, a vicious circle of sex and meetings to out lighthouses, lies and senses of guilt, of which I was victim and person responsible.

That evening when I have called her I have not told a lot her the telephone, I have waited only that answered with almost hot tempered impatience.

«Tonight you are able?» I have immediately told her.

«Yes.»

«Usual place?»

«Ok...»

«Then see you later...»

«Paul...»

«Tell me.»

«Hurt me tonight.»

«Ok.»

«Hi.»

«Hi.»

Susan loved to be beaten, beaten strong.

I didn't understand a lot her as thing and to the beginning it embarrassed me, yet in the time I had perhaps understood as that pits one form of his of auto-punishment and, even if I didn't feel too much me to my ease, I beat her/it strong.

Also that evening I have beaten her with violence, just as she liked it.

Not as soon as you/he/she is closed behind of us the door of the room of the motel, we have begun a brutal dance composed by kisses data with heat and takings impetuous, obsessive holds and slaps, I painful and sex's odor, sweat on the forehead and sighs to like, then of pain, then of pleasure still.

We have swept as dogs, damp, wild, uninhabited from our souls.

I have not even told her of Chiara, neither of Mark that got married him, neither of FDP, that I would have liked to see dead. I have not had to tell her disappointments, you/he/she has been enough for me to unload I set her to him in our cruel dance.

I am dead with her, inside and above his/her body, and only after a few minutes of total absence I have taken knowledge of me and I have met again beside in that bed of motel with unarmed Susan.

Again each we were separated in his/her own story.

I have lit up a cigarette and I have offered him of it one. I believe not to have not even looked in the eyes her/it, because I felt me completely away from her and from what had just happened, almost extraneous to ours brutal baptism.

I looked straight and before: the carpet as it is not used on the walls of the room anymore, the television to flat screen of unknown brand, the shed mirrors in abundance, but without a real criterion. I have gotten up and I have already slipped fugitive under the shower. I/you/they have returned in room still bathed with the towel fixed to the life.

«Susan this is the last time.»

«You always tell him/it.»

«I know him/it, but this time it is different.»

«Also this you always tell him/it»

«No, indeed it tries to understand me. So many things are happening in this period: facts and effects that risk to twist completely my way of seeing the things and to live. I am changing, I want to change, the people that are around me are changing...»

You has let me speak without being upset himself/herself/themselves, almost seeming me comprehensive, for absurd almost maternal. I had the feeling that was perfectly understanding the sense of my words, despite me same I was not to succeed in tracing a clear discourse so absorbed of it.

I have concluded that tormented monologue with a kind of admission of guilt and a true declaration of intents.

«Thing I have done in the last years to be best? As I/you/they are grown? What do I want for me indeed?»

You has lit up another cigarette, this time picking her/it up from his.

«I know him/it that I seem you ridiculous and I don't pretend that you agree with me, but I want to think that I can improve. You have been for me the escape from a relationship that I didn't know how to manage, to escape from you was as to take a sip of life, but it is not enough for me more.»

After a few minutes of silence in which you/he/she has ended the cigarette, Susan has taken to dress again him with the usual elegance of woman. It didn't seem neither disappointed neither angry.

«I hope that you are able of to put all these beautiful motivations into practice» you/he/she has replied laconic and light.

From you/he/she has immediately been me clear as there was no trace of that understanding that was seemed me, how much any maternity didn't exist in its way of listening me. Of fact in front of me I had too much only a tired woman to feel the usual chatters giustificative of the men, now almost frustrated by my presence.

I have added some embarrassed:

«Susan I didn't want.»

But she has stopped me, already more definite. «It doesn't serve that you say other, I repeat him/it to you, I wish me for you that I/you/he/she succeed in your projects.»

From that evening Susan and I there would not be more visas.

I would sometimes feel like knowing how it is, even to see to be able to level her/it the things again and to cancel that abrupt goodbye, but in effects it would not serve to two anybody.

Hardly slope on the car, Susan has started and you/he/she is turned verse me. I have observed her, dressed well and so sure in his/her beautiful car hardly shine.

Even if disturbed for that whole sudden separation I have smiled and I have told her half voice:

«Wishes Susan.»

Perhaps you has not even felt and you/he/she has departed of release returning to his/her own life.

The day later to the job I felt me as a castaway, far years light also from the simplest certainties. The adopted attitude of absolute formal composure had probably slashed almost all the desire of gossip of; besides FDP was in travel allowance and this halved of fact my problems of survival in that place.

In the late afternoon just reentered, I have changed and I/you/they have gone to race.

To race for me is a form of meditation. Happens that when I have a problem, when the restlessness bother me, when simply the day has unloaded me, I slip me shorts and canotta, I turn on the reader Mp3 and I make a long run.

I usually disappear for a couple of hours on the push of the footsteps that you/they bring me to reach my sanctuaries, certain unknown places nearly that anchors they are found by these parts.

I have a preference for the run of work, made of accelerations to time of music, of sprint in slopes ransom-legs and of long breaks of contemplation.

I am not religious and of certain I will be exaggerated, but I associate my way of racing to that rites of faith where before the reflection it needs to purify himself/herself/themselves with the sacrifice and the work.

How much suggestible am.

However on Tuesdays are gone out to race for relaxing me some. It was a day as I am only of it in summer: it rained, then it sprouted the sun, there was then wind, then it rained with the sun.

To say the truth, while I was returning home from the office I scrutinized the sky hoping it rained a pochino, so, to enrich the theatricality of the scene.

Great drops are fallen as sandwiches, puttana poverty: to moments I drown.

The storm has not lasted, a lot the time to reach the beach where I go to make stretching and you/he/she was already ended.

Hardly arrival in that beach I have felt less only.

To see the dark and greenish lake that got excited put me a pleasant subjection and the odor of wet that emanate the leaves after the rain, the black clouds and the white clouds that mixed in the background him in a rubbery collage of the Prealpis, the birds of water that feeling the footsteps flew away... boh, has felt light and I has felt like laughing for the weight that I had given to small personal stories as those.

It is difficult to explain how much helps to feel himself/herself/themselves infinitesimal in comparison to the world.

It is as when you look at the stars and you think to how much distance there is between you and them, to how much your position is irrelevant and invisible in the universe. It is a lot away from the logic of the" everything rotates around you" of our times, it is the exact opposite, it is as to recognize his/her own lightness in front of the life. For this it perhaps results very complicated to succeed us. Particularly that time has served me a lot of to be able of to feel me so minuscule.

That Tuesdays moreover, in the late afternoon of July, returning home and wet pluvius I have met her/it" girl that laughs."

It often happened me to cross her/it for road: her with his/her run, me with mine.

It is curious as among people that race there is looks of complicity and sharing: it is as if he were all members of a common order, it is some as the bikers that when they are crossed they are greeted even if they are not known.

The girl that laughs I had called her so because when we met there it always smiled at me with a natural freshness, well distant from the smiles of attraction between a man and a woman. Of her I only knew that it called Alice Boffi, that was 3 years old less than me and that you/he/she had frequented the middle schools with my cousin Charles Stefano, which had passed by chance me the first two information.

I didn't have enough confidence with her to call her/it Alice and when we came upon there one in the other I greeted her/it saying her:

«Hi girl that laughs!»

You, had a good time by the nickname, it laughed more, even more fresh.

In our intersections, when its figure disappeared to my shoulders, I turned me to see to get further her/it. Because besides the radiant smile, the girl that laughs also had a big beautiful culo. In effects, I would have been able to also call her/it" girl beautiful culo" but I don't believe that greeting I would have received her/it smiles. Instead calling her/it so I caught me the smiles and also the beautiful culo.

I/you/they have reentered to house thinking how much pleasant not to also know still someone living in a paesello as this was.

The evening at 20.00 o'clock Chicken has called again me.

«Oh but are you dead?»

«No, he/she knows me the contrary one.»

«Eh?»

«No, nothing, is left me with Chiara. I was some beaten, but they are in phase of clean resumption.»

«Thing?»

«From the, ago the good one, when we see us I explain you.»

«Footstep from you!»

«No, he/she leaves alone. I feel like being still some on mine. Nothing morbid, not to believe, wants only some time for me, so, to reflect. When they are to place I call you me.»

It is not that I wanted alone star to cry I set me, only that felt me so contemplative, so next to a new phase of me, to want to close me in a silent metamorphosis.

However chicken has understood to the flight.

«Ok, leaves you alone, I let you to reflect, that you reflect more than a mirror porca sow. Remembered however that we have to find us to organize this cazzo of trip.»

«Give me a couple of days and then we do everything.»

«It is all right, but are you sure that you don't want to speak of it?»

«You go calm. Hi head of cazzo!»

«Ok, hi beast! Oh, but do you go from yours tonight?»

«No, because?»

«Then footstep me from your mother.»

I have tried to answer, but Chicken had already attached.

That fool also knew how to rub me.

As soon as it passed the evening in loneliness, I have begun to feel the desire to talk to someone. I felt like telling as I felt me, to be listened and to make to see the new enthusiasm that I tried inside. I would have liked to see Mark to speak of everything. Not only of Chiara, but also of me and of as I felt me strange, and of him that he married and I had not metabolized him yet, and of us, friends from a life, than I desired us to lose never there.

I have thought about calling him/it, but then I have abdicated.

How does it do him to describe the earthquake that you have within without being ridiculous?

I have already removed from the refrigerator the salad wash and without not even putting the tablecloth I have dined.

### 7. All here.

At 21.15 o'clock, while I was looking at the famous satirical Newscast, the bell of the small apartment is rung by me rechristened" Villa Hemming."

It is strange when it rings the bell and you don't imagine who can be. An account is if you wait for the arrival of someone or if you feel the moped of the mail carrier that climbs for the street; in that case you know who will play. That evening however I didn't wait for anybody and at 21.20 o'clock nobody certainly delivered the mail. I have gotten up from the couch vaguely intimidated and I/you/they have gone to answer.

«Yes?»

«You are a bastard, your mother there was not at home.»

It was Chicken, I have opened him.

I was surprised that you/he/she had come because, for how much true was not entirely, I had told him to want to remain alone for a few days.

I have just opened the door, Chicken, David, Gianca and Mark, has invaded even the microscopic stay.

They have entered with an euphoria from party beach, an excessive euphoria since in five, with the spaces interpersonali reduced to the bone, was really narrow in the entry of my residence. Yet from immediately the presence to the big suit of my friends you/he/she has produced in me the feeling to be wound by embrace: a narrow embrace, but I don't trouble.

Mark held in hand a plastic pouch with inside 4 beers.

«You knows that to your house there is never a cazzo» you/he/she has said Gianca with the clear intention to underline how much the idea of the beers had been his.

«But you thing does us here, who has invited you? Who wants you? I denounce you!» I have answered with an improponibile inflexion partenopea. I was happy to see them.

Chicken has immediately started turning for the stay looking anywhere and aiming the table from lunch as a bloodhound.

«You have at all some affected?» you/he/she has asked before opening the refrigerator and to entirely insert us the head as him same inspecting a burrow. Then you/he/she is turned and you/he/she has fixed me in way dispregiativo.

«Excuse at all people but me I expected me for the invasion of the grasshoppers! Cazzo I knew that you came to upset my quiet» I have exclaimed to the invaders in a vague attempt of innocence.

«But what quiet and quiet, have come to see that didn't hang yourself! You give, you put on the pasta that I am hungry» you/he/she has beaten with his/her scarce diplomacy David.

«Not to worry you that you/he/she was not born the woman that makes me kill yet, and however I have eaten already» I have replied spocchioso.

«You yes, but us no!» you/he/she has taken back Gianca opening his/her own beer.

Understanding not to have choice, I have taken the great pot from the mobile one under the oven and I have started boiling the water. I thought about thing I/you could prepare to that time and, not having lavender in the house, I have opted for a more classical" garlic oil and peperoncino."

Mark before we put to table there you/he/she has gone to extinguish the television.

Mark was one of those that you/they eat in almost total silence, with the out television rigorously. Me, that was an aficionado of the binomial one" Quiz more Newscast", spiazzato has remained but I have left that it did.

Ready the supper, has drained the spaghetti and I has jumped them an instant in frying pan.

Is sat in the room by lunch there (if so that hole could be called).

«Some that wanted us the wine with the spaghetti, not the beer» I have observed, gulping down the pasta as if I had not eaten for one month.

The effect is unbelievable that have the spaghetti on my stomach. I could go to a banquet and to stuff me for times, but for a dish of spaghetti I would always find a spot.

«He/she will want to say that ended the beer we will drink your wine» Gianca has responded.

Then Chicken, as always in certain occasions, you/he/she has become the unaware mattatore of the evening.

«But possible that you in the house have only bread oposso?» you/he/she has asked with the greasy mouth, swallowing a piece of bread, curved on the dish as him same eating in a bowl.

«The bread that?» you/he/she has asked perplexed Mark while Gianca had already begun to laugh as a damned.

«Oposso, stale!» you/he/she has confirmed Chicken with safety.

«Yes, The bread Opossum! The famous bread done with true flour of marsupial. I am able! Bread is I am able coglione!» it is sbottato David.

«And does beh go, are we understood there no? However it seems me that you/he/she could be said in both the ways» you/he/she has concluded the ignorant person.

Chicken is one of those that, wanting him/it or no, they make you fold up to laugh.

Deadly imitator of teachers, trainers, priests and colleagues, were only already exhilarating for his/her coarse language.

After you/they had rejected him in elementary fourth grade, we had shared the bench for the whole period of the middle school. I remember that, in third average, you/he/she had been able to take one note that it said more or less": The pupil Emanuele Pollo disturbs the lesson baring himself/herself/itself and showing his/her own buttock to the whole class." I have not understood yet because it loved to make to see the proper culo, but he liked indeed, because it was always with the chiappes to the wind. Fortunately it is an attitude that has lost during the years.

With him, the afternoon after the school, we took the mopeds and we turned as fools for times.

Chicken had the habit to steal in every exercise which it entered. Some did him/it for challenge, some for necessity. To sixteen, it entered the shops of attire dressed in a way and it went out from there suit in another. You/he/she has never told us as it did to remove the plates that play; as an experienced seeker of mushrooms, it didn't disclose the secret of the work and in the time you/he/she had become so much professional from it stuffed to think that be lives for the whole life stealing.

The debut was the food theft. A classical: chips and merendine.

Subsequently passed the period," figurines and gadget", the attire and the electronics you/he/she was given to: dressed, shoes, games of the Game boy, of the Super Nintendo, of the Playstation. I can swear to have seen to make him to disappear a whole plant HiFi.

The technique, tested in years of activity, it was always the same one: it used of an accomplice" comprante" (what me was almost always) and while the" pole" it made the purchase, he used everything point with an unbelievable calm.

Chicken was a champion of the shoplifting.

For every misdeed, Chicken used an only tool: the magic jacket, the blue bomber. Half untied zipper, a smile in the salesclerk, an unexpected looseness, five minutes of fear and street, out of the shop.

You/he/she has stopped only when you/they have pecked at him.

Has happened in a so simple hit for a genius as him, that even me that I didn't love to see him/it in action and I made only free the pole to increase his/her possibilities of result I have thought that that pits an end doesn't deign of its fame.

You/he/she is made to peck at for a snack to the chocolate.

After the oldie of the cafe of the station has summoned him «what you have in the jacket, or you pay him/it to me, or you wait for the policemen with me...» Chicken has not stolen anything, not even the grape from the fields.

Every time when Chicken introduced him to someone, that he/she asked him from where the nickname arrived" Chicken." He responded, I don't know why almost angry, that Emanuele Pollo was alone his/her full name and that there was not really any nickname for which I handed questions. Acid, told him/it as if people had to know him/it about his.

To the job, before departing with us, the label of recognition of my friend Chicken described him/it so: Emanuele Pollo, employed to the fish bench.

A Chicken that he/she sold the fish.

It made us die when it told of his/her job, because it put an intensity in the stories and a pathos in the narration, that you would have been able to write us a comedy on his/her small stories of fishmonger.

«My boy, the fresh fish recognize him/it from the eyes! Because the eyes don't lie, never!» It went out so, even from the nothing, moreover almost saying him/it with a conviction and a passion from ticket of chocolates of St. Valentine. "A Bass is forever."

To Chicken its job of fishmonger liked, it appreciated as a lot it I didn't do me every morning while I was approaching me in the office. The only problem was in the fact that you/they imposed him to make few times. Assumption with contract part-time, 700 European a month. Motivation: the crisis.

For this motive, Chicken was always down-and-out and often contracted small debts with his/her own friends. In every case, we knew that sooner or later you/he/she would have settled (even if it still owes me 80 European).

Moreover the most greater part of the money if it spent them in frightening way. Because Chicken was a true forge of activity and initiatives strampalate and didn't succeed in being firm an instant, so much that, if lives in the medioevo, you/he/she would surely have been an acrobat. Simpleton and good person, indolent and some ignorant, was one whom you could not change. If you wanted him/it, you/he/she had to be taken this way.

Of done I would have had to thank him if at that time we were all reunited ones in my house.

You/he/she has been a very exciting supper.

Once more together, to eat spaghetti and to drink the beer of Gianca or the wine of my father.

David's wisecrack to the beginning has been the only time when the key is touched" ended love story", for the rest we have spoken of the old times and of the trip to make himself/herself/themselves.

«I have thought there some, whether to be in Italy? Would not it be better Europe to turn the north? We make us three or four capital Europeans and we return home of it» you/he/she has started the discourse Mark.

«But you that cazzo you want? Have not perhaps understood anchors that don't have anything to do with it nothing with the organization! Is it or no a trip for you? Is it or no your goodbye to the bachelorhood? And then you do the celebrated one and not to break the coglionis!» David has answered him with his typical, annoying, irony.

«Idea was to remain in Italy because if Simona, with all the conjurations, it had to need you, we could quickly reenter» I have specified, interposing me among the two in the attempt to give a sensible motivation to Mark with polite ways, without besides you/he/she had asked her or you/he/she was heard again for the words of David.

«Yes, because if we are to Palermo or to Monk of Baviera it changes so much» you/he/she has contested Gianca before adding «you have not understood really nothing. The camper, Italy, doesn't deal with going to spend a week of vacation. It deals with reliving the gold times when we didn't have anything of which to worry us; to return little boys to return eighteen year-old. Do you remember you as it was to live without responsibility? Beh, to do we have to remain him/it in Italy for strength.»

«Because?» I have asked, perplexed from the cut that he/she wanted to give to the proposal.

«How many vacations we have done together everybody?» you/he/she has asked Gianca.

«Four!» Chicken of release has responded, as if it participated in a quiz.

«Five!» I have corrected, looking at Chicken to impose silence, that so much never seized us.

«Are, because to Rimini have gone 2 years following! » you/he/she has beaten gratified Gianca.

«Among 99' and 2005 has gone to Alassio, to Tropea, in the Salento, to Rimini and Lignano. Correct? This trip will do him/it to Alassio, to Tropea, in the Salento, to Rimini and Lignano! Let's recall all as that times, only that condense all in a week! Tell me that you don't like!»

I have not had the time to manifest how much it seemed me stupid the idea to return in the same places already visited, that Mark has exclaimed enthusiastic:

«Beautiful! This way has sense! Good I, like Gianca, you have convinced me, nothing foreign, returns to the eighteen!»

Of hit, I/you/they have agreed.

«You keep silent, that has said already you him David that I/you/he/she don't have anything to do with it a cazzo and don't have the right!» you/he/she has taken back then Gianca and Mark you/he/she has been silent.

After the nth vote to the good one, we were everybody in agreement that to relive the places and the atmosphere of the years most disengaged pits a good idea. Gianca, for once you/he/she had been able to plan something that went over the comparisons of strength among Gundam, Daitarn and Mazinga Z.,

«Could also divide the days according to a precise theme! What I know, each incentrata on one of us.»

«Yes, from the! This way when it is my turn, we go to my uncles and we eat to I gobble up!» you/he/she has confirmed Chicken, indeed convinced that the done affirmation had a good position and pits justly tuned up to the spirit of the vacation that we were planning

«Yes, as no! Be in my day, let's go all to sows! Even from your aunt same that we save!» you/he/she has replied cynic David. Then you/he/she has continued. «Apart that this is not a new idea, but then that cazzo is it is what? Do we start making the stupid there? Do we go naked around? Do I make a run in clandestine car and I die as in the films of Ligabue? From the Giancas, it looks that you are almost thirty years old, cazzo!»

Gianca has remained seriously there badly because you/he/she has not beaten anything.

Also Mark didn't seem very convinced from the idea of the devoted days. Staid as it was, the type was not certain from you place around, even for its goodbye to the bachelorhood.

We have remained an instant to plan what then we would have been able to do, as we would have had to live her/it, but we treated the theme with a little practical formality, a vague discourse that we have quickly abandoned. Alone Gianca, before changing completely matter, has taken back some the initiative but the scarce adhesion from our part you/he/she has immediately discouraged him.

As always the evening is carried then, toward the classical one" amarcord" general that we liked so much to do. It happened so often to end to speak of the memoirs, on that certain times reflected as we had lived the last years of our friendship without new pushes, simply considering to all the cazzates done together.

That evening particularly we have departed from the shared consideration that to 30 a player of kick is practically ended and, passing for one dollied of known frightening characters in so many years of local championships, we are ended to talk of the left one of Gianca to the oratory (the scarcest biped ever seen to play to kick) and of the throwing, only in the intention millimetrici, said" fagianate", of David, nicknamed" Zinzi" because, fan of the Juventus, loved to the folly Zinedine Zidane (but you/he/she didn't not at all resemble him).

Finally, after so much time from the last time, we are hedged in as a horde of ultrà on the couch there, decidedly too much small, and we have seen the vhs with again engraved the best scenes of our film" The incrostabilis", born project and been shipwrecked ten years on the wave of the enthusiasm in a summer in which we were evidently busy few before. Moments Gianca vomits I set us, folded up as it was from the laughters to have seen Chicken recite again.

To be sincere has absolutely been a perfect evening.

One of those evenings with the correct taste and the correct tuning; one of those evenings when the value of the friendship recognizes him; a publicity evening of bitterses; an evening in which" we were never felt there so united."

Aldilà of the joke, without we had not even spoken of it, risollevato has felt from so progressively all the restlessness lived recently, that I have become account than the alone presence of those four heads of cazzo that I knew for a long time pits an authentic care for every bad moment.

I finally Mark you/he/she has told us some developments riguardanti the preparation of the marriage, and it was strange, because every time that spoke, every thing that said, proposed her/it to the plural.

«We are tired but serene. We are happy for as the pregnancy you/he/she is going and we don't see the time that the day arrives when our child will be born.»

To the beginning you/he/she has bothered even me some.

It bored me to feel to speak to him/it all" perfettino" of his/her beautiful publicity family of biscuits that he was creating. Then however I have understood that that bother was not but the awareness than far pits mine lived of couple by his stable and firm reality and Simona insieme and I have reconsidered how much I am be liked one day to succeed in talking to the plural as him.

Ended the party, David has been the first one to leave, only.

«Tomorrow morning plays me the alarm clock at 5.30 o'clock, porca puttana, doesn't make her/it more. There is then that cogliones of surveyor that... it doesn't already understand a cazzo... it comes there then to make the professorino with his/her shirt and his/her norms and he/she doesn't even know as a bindella it is used... ah, but I send sooner or later them to fanculo all... you see if I send them... you see, if it goes in I bring that thing...»

David when he/she spoke of job (practically always) it was incomprehensible.

Its words were so loaded of nervous, grudges, bad moods and frustration for worths not recognized, extraordinary ache paid, non granted vacations and non justified observations, that produced an only heavy and monotonous sound: one sing-songs of anger.

To think well of us, both David and Chicken, and me, that Mark and even Gianca, for a motive or for the other, in that period we were completely absorbed in the eternal struggle with the job.

«If it goes in I bring that?» you/he/she has asked Gianca, to which one didn't escape of it.

«No, I don't tell you nothing, that you bring sfiga. If everything is all right, I will inform you me for time» peremptory David has answered.

We knew, rather we thought everybody that it referred to his/her old desire to want to work in, really. You/he/she had just gotten a special patentino from welder and me I had always encouraged him to specialize himself/herself/themselves, because David his/her own job knew him/it to do well and with the constancy of a burden mule. David was not one who shunned the work, yet you/he/she had never found the courage to shift his/her own situation and to throw seriously him in an activity that was his. It was jammed, just as me.

After all it paid the guilts that it didn't have.

His/her father's guilts, dead of heart attack to cinquantanni, that had left him varied consequential debts from the failure of the haberdashery. Of his/her mother, with which he/she had not spoken for years, that he/she met around accompanied by a different man to week, or worse in the Wine cellar, to throw in video-poker fior of money from the unknown origin.

The infancy of David was a beautiful mix of family country houses and economic problem list seasoned from constant almost always taken around for jeans dirts and hair almost ever washed. All these things and a lot of other ones had made out David a hard man, but prudent and fragile inside. A job man, impeccable in to dress signed and clean and perfumed when he went out, aggressive and unsociable in the social relationships. The preceding winter had been disqualified for 2 years by the championship of third category circle done D. Il a report him was also cost for lesions. Yet, when he/she spoke of it, it boasted him to have two spread out of it and to be happy to have broken the nose to that fool of the attacker adversary that had not borne for years. I knew how much, returning back, that cazzata would not have referred her. The kick field missed him from crazy, but you/he/she would never have admitted him.

David, besides, it is the only friend with which I have ever risked the physical clash.

From that quarrel, of which I don't even remember the motivations, we continually picked there, aware that we would never have attached there.

«Hi stupid, thanks neh» I have told him from the balcony.

«Thanks of thing? I have come only for eating free a dish of pasta. However you not to kill you for the depression, that we owe us to divide the expenses of the camper!» you/he/she has answered laconic before climbing in car and to depart an hour to two hundred.

«What cabbage of truzzo!» Mark has exclaimed, covered by the sgommata of the car of David already reached the curve.

To that point Gianca, considering that we had remained in four, you/he/she has proposed a pokerino. We have rejected him/it to him and he has again sbottato, sustaining that we had become by now all old and boring ones.

I Mark then you/he/she has asked information more detailed on the trip in camper: it was as if it doubted of our ability to plan the thing.

Mark was pragmatico and calculator of nature. You/he/she would have liked that stretched an itinerary, that we compared the prices of campings and areas of standstill, that we appraised the length of the runs and that we studied different journeys to cross in the case we had found obstacles. In practice, you/he/she would have liked that managed the thing in the way according to which you/he/she would have managed her him.

«You not to worry you, let's think us about everything, is not that are the only one that knows how to go on vacation! Then it takes at all a degree to take a trip as ours. They are already in word for the camper, you will see that show!» you/he/she has affirmed Chicken, as if he felt threatened from as much analytical curiosity.

«Yes, I have understood, we are to place» Mark has puffed with condivisibile perplexity.

Before all went out we have fixed the date in which we would have departed: on August 23 would have gone off the operation" trip to the bachelorhood."

Ready to leave, I have tried to thank my friends to have come, but Gianca immediately has me stoppato with the way I dispatch of whom hates the smanceries.

«You would not have done him?» you/he/she has observed Mark.

«But thing?» you/he/she has asked unaware Chicken, as always, of the sense of the discourse.

Gianca has tried even to explain him how much I/you had appreciated the gesture of which himself had been the promoter but then you/he/she has believed that a fist was more explanatory and you/he/she has placed him of it one beautiful dry on the left shoulder.

After the siparietto, each has gone toward his/her own auto and verse his/her own night and me I/you/they have reentered in the house. I have just closed the door I has felt like smiling thinking to how much in effects we had remained some idiotic ragazzonis, rather than to be grown sure and arrogant as as our nobler contemporaries in country. Then however, when I/you/they have gone to sleep, stretched out, looking at the naked ceiling, I have felt fierce to have been simple and so faithful to the friendship with the other four big babies; and only this has been enough for me to find again me some more calm.

### 8. The old Mario.

To one month demanded by the departure I have decided to go to find Mario.

Mario was a friend, you/he/she was mine ex neighbor: Mario was old and was to the hospice.

It lodged in the room twenty-four, nothing of eclatante: a bed from hospital with cranks to lift or to lower headrest and legs, a desk in walnut-tree with writing desk in glass that was brought from house, a small white and impersonal bath with handles for disabled shed anywhere and a great closet of modern design, a lower part thing cost in clean contrast with the desk, where Mario held covers of raw wool, gilet, cardigan demodé and old lines white uniform.

Two great windows gave a good light and the show of the lake and the whole country grown beside him to the room. That view cost a considerable supplement to Mario in the monthly straight line, but he was justified saying that, when he is old, a proper bath and a good panorama do the difference. For many years Mr. Mario had been for me to kind of grandfather. It was the gentleman that looked me play to ball in the courtyard; the man that had scolded only me with the eyes when Chicken, throwing a glass from the balcony to the party of my birthday, you/he/she had upset some orangeade on the white hood of his/her curatissimo black Maggiolone. Mario was the person to which I brought the cassettes of the water when I met him/it to the beginning of the street, returning from the oratory. His/her memory I have had for a long time him, you/he/she had been there always, in the apartment beside to ours, Mrs Luisa and he, his/her wife.

You/he/she had worked as manager of bank for a life and you/he/she had also lent a hand to my father for the history of the bookstore. It was a separate figure, that also not dressing particularly formal and also having a round face and a benevolent aspect, it aroused to almost all a natural respect.

Until we have lived near Paolino has always called me, diminutive that I didn't love, but I have never told him him, it bored me. Mario had a patience and a wisdom from old man, you/he/she has always had her, not only with me. When, as all the teen-agers, lifted the volume of the stereo to inhuman levels, you/he/she has never come to play to the door shouting or complaining himself/herself/itself, rather it waited for to meet me on the landing, and the name of that song asked me and of such the singer saying that, considering that it was forced to sip them to him, he/she wanted to know at least of what music he treated. I could do him any question, because Mario was a human version of internet: you found us any information, was enough to ask and he responded agreeable and correct as him same telling fables happened indeed. He/she knew a lot of things: he intended of economy and of banks, but also of law and architecture; you/he/she could speak to you for times of every European plant, but also of animals of Asia or the Sudafrica; it perfectly knew the traditions of this place, but also the uses of the aboriginal tribes of the New Zelanda or the Amazzonia. It was unbelievable as that man, that had practically never stirred from house, pits so perfectly to his/her ease in to speak of distant worlds. It was as if everybody the things of the world you/he/she had seen her or lived, but it was not true.

From small, when I entered his/her great apartment I had a strange subjection, it was as to enter in a catacomb or in a place of cult, because in the house of Mario you/he/she could feel the breath of the history.

Mario had a lot of objects, you/he/she didn't practically throw away anything. It had heirlooms of every epoch and every country, things of value and dump things. Its saloon was a small museum, wound by the odor that they have the houses of the old ones, with furniture and beliefs full of objects of every type and with the walls full of pictures, apparent advertising and electoral of the years 50', autographed portraits, photo of heads of is famous. All without a crumb of dust, all rigorously orderly.

A true Japanese katana, an authentic thing, a thing of value, camped to the entry of its room from bed. It was my preferred object and I observed her/it attracted but pervaded by a light fear. I liked the idea to be able to use her/it and to go around to do justice with my Japanese sword to save dames in danger and to rout criminals to dozens: it was my dream of child.

From small I felt me destined to a future by Chuck Norris.

If I looked too much at the sword and Mrs Luisa it realized the same sentence it always told me:

«It cares more to the things as that that to his/her wife!»

I responded her that if he/she wanted you/he/she could give her/it me, of hidden, without telling nothing his/her husband, but she has never surrendered.

In 2002 Mrs Luisa is dead and Mario has not been the same anymore.

You/he/she has had two ictus and you/he/she has been paralyzed for half body. You/he/she has decided alone to go to the hospice and, when I have asked him because you/he/she has done him, you/he/she has answered me that a man not to be of weight to anybody has to understand when you/he/she is the moment to retire himself/herself/themselves and that the old ones of the Indian tribes when they lost the ability to be self-sufficient they went to die in the desert, alone.

Mario had chosen the rest home as desert of his/her end, an end to be lived only, because only you/he/she was, despite you/he/she had a child that however he lived in France and he never saw.

I sometimes went to find him/it, I did him/it please personal, not as it forms very disengaged of volontariato. We spoke of everything, of politics, of books, of the time and of the women. He/she didn't call me more Paolinos, because by now a man considered me to all the effects and rather often happened, that you/he/she gave me of the me and she, some sorry, conformed me.

The rest home where Mario was you/he/she was an enormous, clean and well kept place, staid as a hotel of luxury on a hill that looks at the lake. Despite pits a place with an unexceptionable structure, the content was that of a hospice and the idea to enter that place however it didn't make me go crazy. Certainly it was not one of those structures lager, with old legacies or abused, of which had felt to sometimes speak to the services of the newscast; it was a more decent place with airy and bright environments. However I went there for Mario and I would never have entered there of mine.

Usually to the afternoon the old men were all reunited ones in a great saloon; who to play cards the, who to color and to draw as children to the kindergarten, who to remember with a song or a film the years distant of the youth, who to complain about himself/herself/themselves of this and of that, of the time, of the seasons, of the governments, of the young people, of the food, of the life.

Every time that I crossed the entry there was always someone that asked me to bring him/it in bath and it had to be us a kind of passaparola, because it was a systematic thing. I responded:

«I don't know... and... he is not able... and... I tell him/it someone...» And despite very often the applicant it was completely disorientated, I wondered me if my presence didn't have in effects diruetic or laxative powers.

Mario didn't participate in those gatherings some sad ones of had a good time old men, he was closed in his/her room the whole day. As a wild cat, went out unsecured only to eat.

Arrived to his/her room I have knocked as usual.

«Before!»

It was on his/her mythical armchair: a chair from office with revolving wheels that allowed him to turn the room in long and in wide. To see him/it so, armed with spyglass to beware of the great expensive windows the lake and the life of the others, he/she remembered the protagonist de" You window on the courtyard" of Hitchcock.

«Oh, good morning!» you/he/she has welcomed me. As always it seemed happy to see me. It had an enormous sign on the face, a blackish hematoma that wound his eyes and the nose widened him. Despite the drammaticità of that livid in face, it absolutely had a relaxed expression, almost had a good time, as it was child that had just combined a prank. I have forded well him and after the first embarrassment I has felt like laughing because it seemed me to have before Mr. Mario with The wears the mask of Rey Misterio.

«Mr. Mario, but has thing combined?»

«Eh... I have measured the floor.»

From his/her entry in the hospice Mario had embraced the way of speaking of the elderly ones, a way all of them, made of dialect expressions, of ancient proverbs and of opinions by now anachronistic.

«I am fallen. The head is turned me, I have not understood anything anymore and I have found in earth. However I have not broken anything, I have made only the tests, still few and I go from the Luisa.» It laughed, it always did him/it. Mario had the power to render less dramatic on everything and to never become angry. In effects from when you/he/she had hospitalized you/he/she was worsened quite a lot and I didn't understand if it were due only to the fact not to often see him/it: it seemed me that it grew old more quickly them inside, three years in one.

When, to spur him/it, asked him because it was not with the others elderly in the saloon or because it regularly jumped the sessions of physiotherapy, he made spallucce and he/she answered me that you/he/she was waiting only that the other half died its body because, for the rest, he had already died. I knew that it was not true, not entirely. Mario took an interest some movements of the purse, he read the daily paper, he wrote poetries and you/he/she followed the championship of kick. So much to change, if I made him notice that a corpse could not have all that affairs, he snickered under the made yellow denture.

«Doesn't say certain things that if Mrs Luisa felt her/it it would put her/it in line her» I have beaten to his/her considerations and for infinitesimal once I have glimpse in the eyes of Mario a veil of nostalgia and I have realized to have said a cazzata.

However Mario has put again fast its agreeable oldie mask, has put back the spyglass in a drawer of the desk of walnut-tree and you/he/she has asked me:

«Then Paul, as do the things go? And his/her parents? Is everybody well? Has his/her brother taken her the licence?»

I usually did to Mario great general accounts and some generic ones, but that time I didn't have a big desire to speak of superficial things, I had gone to find the depth looking for him/it that he/she knew how to give to his/her own considerations, it was as if I was thirsty of it.

«Yes, everybody well, the licence has picked her up but it is still raw» I have answered without adding other.

«You will do. Me when I have taken for the first time in hand the steering wheel of the Juliet I have risked that it was the last» you/he/she has replied and you/he/she has begun with the history of the Juliet, that I already knew, but that I have made him tell however. When you/he/she has ended Mario you/he/she has expressed perplexed «Perhaps this I had already told him him.» I have hesitated an instant, he has understood and you/he/she has started laughing, then you/he/she has pretended that did two footsteps.

To walk with Mario was to go for a stroll just, almost literally. The first times we succeeded in crossing the whole long corridor of the tent where the room was found twenty-four, subsequently our runs had inexorably shortened, up to become exhausted himself/herself/themselves to few footsteps over the door of the room.

Mario has lifted with the times of a tired old man. The mechanics that brought him/it to build was almost tragic: of fact the good half of its body dragged, as a spoiled child drags him the corrupt part.

When Mario has been stable standing, ready to go out of the room, you/he/she was already tired, the head turned him and breathed with light puffs.

I have thought to how much absurd was that such a simple gesture could become an ungrateful work and Mario such it owes to have read as on an opened book my bitterness because he/she anchors red in face you/he/she has considered:

«You see him/it because the old ones are not afraid to die? When true life passes, he/she doesn't remain but a substitute. Do you understand how much this situation is tiresome?»

Mario was a person aware of his/her words and didn't hesitate to begin existential discourses, although you/he/she did him/it with lightness. It was an old man that taught and he/she knew him/it to do well, also thanks to the contrast between his/her sour words and his/her serene air absolutely.

We have crossed at the most about ten meters, me me oscillating and looking around at attending his/her footsteps, him dragging the feet one after the other as a slow skater.

Then Mario is gotten tired. «We take otherwise two chairs we make night.»

«You don't worry him, I am not in a hurry» I have answered him and two chairs on which there is sat have taken.

The corridor was almost cold because of the conditioned air that continually blew from mouthpieces set in the against white ceiling. Despite the whole space it enjoyed some sight of the lake given even more by great windows of those of the room of Mario, the light that arrived it was out and as polluted by that of the neons. The correct place was not certain in which to exchange confidences, but in the middle of that corridor, looking at the lake with Mr. Mario, burdens exchange of words you/he/she has been enough for pushing us to level of intimacy that The hads alone with my friends.

«How it goes with his/her fiancée?»

«Eh... he/she knows me that the bombonieres will never arrive to her. We have been being left for one month there, it was not the case to go on anymore.»

«I regret.»

«To me I don't know, I have not understood him yet if I regret or less. For now, for how much sad to say him/it is, I have the feeling to have thrown away a lot of time. Only this.»

«I don't believe, because if was true would be serious! How does it do him to throw then away the time? Rather the time is spent badly it, but also the errors have a value.»

«I know him/it, however I have as the impression not to have been able to manage our relationship in correct way. Mario, the last year we have exclusively passed for inactivity, as if we were a couple after fifty years of marriage, accustomed and incapable to change the indolence of the time. At least I have been so.»

Mario has remained bonario and you/he/she has taken to give me of the you as you/he/she often did when we spoke to this way. «Street, not to be too much severe. Apart that little time has passed because you can appraise the quality of your relationship, but then, the fact to consider certain aspects is already very positive. You will see, you will learn not to fall in the dead times and to take decisions for yourself and for the one who is nearby you. Are you young, do you know how many errors I have done me? Also from old, not to believe, to realize is already of it very!»

It was a pleasure for me that Mario talked to so much boldness of himself, you/he/she did me him to feel nearby and solidale. Moreover, even if you/he/she would have been able to allow him him, Mario it was neither pedant nor pedant, Mario was a marvelous man.

«Not to think that all realize of it! There are people that even go on with the blinkers without I handed the question if they were or less satisfied than their life, of what you/they have built, of the relationships that have interwoven, if has respected the preset objectives or less and that continually gives of new. Simply they go, they beat as dull flies against the glasses of the life, trapped, without looking around at himself/herself/themselves and inside, even enslaved of the success professional or absorbed in flat but stable relationships and therefore approved because they don't need any emotional effort. Paul, the world is made of men so, I am not speaking of the characters of the films or the novels, defined and perfectly delineated. All, me and you understood, also only in least part we behave there in this stupid way. It is a form of energy saving of the soul. Now that you have realized you are afraid of it that becomes a rule to be, but not to think, is you to decide that regimes of consumption to maintain!»

I have contested definite that didn't like me to feel me as a dull fly and that I was striving me to change the draught of my life.

«Ah him? Well, also this is a positive thing, but doesn't believe that I/you/he/she am so easy» you/he/she has started over giving me of the" her."

«I try there if nothing else» I have said, but it was as if I/you had already disheartened.

Mario to that point has changed expression and you/he/she has become thoughtful. Again you/he/she has started over giving me of the" you."

«You see Paul, when I was young I was a train. I worked in the bank to ventun years, I directed a branch to trentacinque, to forty I was mayor of this country. I was delighted me to have put my family in a stable economic condition and to have social consideration, to have the respect of my wife and to be feared and honored by my child.»

«You/he/she will certainly have been good to build her/it to him his/her fortune» I have interrupted him I almost wanted to gratify him/it.

«You know him/it that for cinquantadue years my wife has made me find the pajamas folded up on the bed before going to sleep?»

I didn't understand what he/she wanted to say.

«For cinquantadue years have been convinced to move me long the runs of the life with the safety of the people that you/they are thought essential. Beh, are the cemeteries full of essential people and, if the world has gone on the same, does he/she want to say that they were not then it so much, no? I would have been able to thank Luisa, at least once, for that gesture that I considered only an automatic action and however due. And instead certain times it was as if her almost it didn't exist, perfectly lowered in the part of granite head of the family which I felt me.»

It had the almost shiny eyes while he/she was speaking and I have begun to desire to be able to return with our discourses on a less binding plan and coinvolgente. I felt me to uneasiness and I wanted to recover.

«But you/he/she has always loved her!» I have said hoping to improve the things.

«And when is dead I have realized not to have him/it to him ever says and shown how much has done her! Now, with this regret and with a distant child that never phones, do tell me, have I/you/they been good to build my fortune or have I spent very bad my time?» you/he/she has answered almost angry.

The way bothered me in which reorganized him and the mental construction that I had made of him since child notched. I had nearly considered always him a perfect person, a model to which to extend. I have tried to change discourse

«If Mark remembers him/it, the German?»

«Yes.»

«He gets married him, it becomes dad. We depart in one month to celebrate him/it. We make together still a vacation everybody, all of us. Does it have it foresees my friends? If he/she remembers them?»

«Yes.»

«Here, another occasion to be together with the great one with them.»

«Well have a good time you,» you/he/she has said, but it seemed that the thing didn't interest a lot him and it was strange because Mr. Mario had to kind curiosity toward what happened me.

«We will certainly have a good time, because I always feel me as that little boy that played with them in the courtyard, what he laid down under his/her car when the ball ended us under!»

I wanted to communicate freshness and enthusiasm to Mario, I liked to give him of me that image, but Mario maintained an unusual separation.

Then I have begun a pathetic discourse that I would have been able to avoid very well, on as to my age I still felt me so spiazzato, immovable, ever assembled on something. I have spoken to him of as by now I went to work only for inactivity and than idea to build me the future or a family was a bother angosciante to hold well far. Stumbles speaking of values and of generational crisis, of failure and of sense of responsibility; I am fallen speaking of oppressive Catholic education, giving more unassailable motivations to the why I didn't believe in God. With an expression of absolute conviction I filled me the mouth of index book paroloni of psychology and the same simplifications that I hated to listen in the television magazines. I tried to read in the eyes of Mario sharing and solidarity, but I didn't find anything.

Mario has not pronounced word, serious, you/he/she seemed almost worried. Then, its features are slowly, as extended and its benevolent nonnino face is returned him

«But as he/she doesn't believe in God? have not I ever told her as then I have discovered that God exists? From child, my father has made me plant a seed of the wheat. I have waited that budded, and incredibly, the wheat is grown. The wheat is not the bran!»

While he/she was talking to the usual metaphors, I looked at Mario with affability and as I would have been able to look at an any other old rincoglionito to tell odd histories of divine cereals. I thought that in the rest home Mario had also gone out some.

«Not to make that face!» you/he/she has brusquely interrupted.

«What face? I don't understand» I have beaten trying to bring the comparison on binary known.

«Yes, in fact, you have not understood a beautiful anything! Do we allow to lose God and the faith, if you believe or less they will be well done yours, but have I listened to all of your boring complaints and do you discount without replying nothing and you now that you do? Look me conceited as him same listening to an old crazy person. Call her/it as you want, call her/it faith, hope, call it conceives her/it, but I was trying to tell you that there is an order in the things, in the things. And as in the things, an order there is also the people!»

You/he/she had become angry seriously, the mask of Rey Misterio had ignited him in face and in the gross I didn't understand well because.

«But Mr. Mario, didn't want to make to become rabid her/it.»

«Mr. Mario to horn! When you will decide yourself to understand what are you? Do you think that a life made of vacations with the friends both enough? I have seen you venir on porca poverty and you have become by now a man. Come here now as a capricious and selfish child to say that are afraid of that and this, that don't want to become great and that of here and that of on and that of down! The life spend you her as better creeds, but at least fault with dignity!»

While it was reproaching me, you/he/she is not not at all taken care of of as the distances among our positions you/they could lengthen.

«But then you ask yourself too questions, you give yourself too importance. Do you feel yourself wasted? Dissatisfied? Meanwhile, instead of keeping on thinking about you as the only person of this planet, it tries to understand what the order is that there is inside of you. Are you wheat or bran you? You have to understand who are more than to think about thing wants to be, because if you are wheat and don't make the ears, then you don't follow your order and so indeed you are wasted. If you are not aware of what six, you will keep on asking you what you want and life will pass waiting.»

Mario has dwelled on the matter with the redundance of elderly man, as if he wanted to be certain that that concept that with insistence you/he/she passed you/he/she settled in my head.

The abrupt voice of a nurse of the east has interrupted only it.

«Mario, goes to your room that you have to make insuline!»

Mario has calmed abruptly, with the docility of a pup of kennel you/he/she has obeyed and slowly is returned in his/her room, in silence.

Just reentered, Mario is excused.

«I didn't want to attack you, only that is not is not liked me me your softness» you/he/she has said with the voice by now calmed.

«You don't worry him, it is right» I have answered some embarrassed.

In reality I felt me as if I/you had taken a slap in front of everybody. I had the open and livid soul.

Mario has made a hit of cough and a rivulet of expelled catarrh you/he/she has dirtied him the shirt.

«You excuse me» you/he/she has sincerely exclaimed embarrassed.

«There is no problem» I have answered as many embarrassed.

Then the nurse stupid has entered and you/he/she has looked me as to say" Beh, does mo raise yourself from the balls"?.

I have greeted Mr. Mario and him you/he/she has smiled returning imprisoned burdens old age, while the stupid put him hurry inciting to lie down him/it him on the bed.

«Hi Paul, tries to think some less and if I/you/he/she enjoy her/it the beauty of his/her years, that true.»

«It is right, good-bye Mr. Mario» The have answered observing the torch scazzata of the nurse of the east.

Before going out of the institute, passing in the corridor, an image has captured my attention. An old, in his/her room, it combed him with a brush in front of his/her specchiera. Despite looking, verse of me is not turned and you/he/she has kept on combing himself/herself/themselves, serious and fair of its beauty that didn't have anymore.

I/you/they are gone out of the hospice that they were the five of the afternoon and it made a merciless heat.

Driving the car to return home, I considered to all the words exchanged with Mario and to the energy that emanated that old with the brush. It seemed really it had an internal order to drive her/it.

Yet really it didn't come me to compare me to the bran.

### 9. Photos

August has arrived as every year, warm, dampness and load of the usual expectations.

The last day of job before the vacations I have realized as my productivity it had been being nearly for a week nothing and how much the only efforts I/you had done them, for other succeeding us, in the constant attempt to avoid every contact with Doctor Pigozzi, with heads and foreman you launch and with that big bastard of FdP.

I shunned every concrete appointment delegating or postponing the smallest duty to my return, remaining in the office as a nonexistent shade, immovable in front of the computer, the fixed face and falsely assembled on projects by now had been approving for months. I have spent the last day of job escaping from the curiosity of FdP, closing the windows of jobs already filed in the case it drew near to my posting and reopening not her as soon as you/he/she had gotten further. I was delighted me in to feel me more awake than him, so much that I have opened a text file and I have begun a fierce description of mine hated colleague, composed by all the insults that came me to mind to represent him/it. When De Bridges you/he/she has gotten up with the excuse to ask me a technical opinion, I have hastily closed the page and I have tried a thin to like in to make him/it fool, even though in so childish way. Then the plays with De Bridges you/he/she has stewed me and I have felt stupid at least how much him. I have begun then a long job of revision that I had programmed to have been starting to the reentry for the vacations, knowing that I would never have been able him/it to end considering that it missed mezzora as soon as at the end of the man day. I/you/they have gone on the same, even though to slow footsteps. You go off the 17.00 I have closed everything and I/you/they are gone out of the office.

To the exit, in the parking lot, I didn't have the rejoicing air of the students a last day of school, neither the happy comradeship of the soldiers to the supper dismissal. There was only the tiredness given by my small daily punishment that would have been to wait me after few days there, again.

I/you/they have precipitately returned home and it was as if I had hurry to arrive. I/you/they have entered and I have undressed up to remain with I wear only the briefs. I have put the shirt and the pantalonis in the basket of the cloths to wash despite they were clean and, for a few minutes, I have walked naked afoot for the small apartment disseminating imprints sudaticce on the floor. Then I have opened the refrigerator but there was no anything, really nothing. I immediately would be due to go out for shopping, but I/you/they have gone to race.

I have made the slope that brings to the beautiful belvedere above the lake, a place where once a so luxurious restaurant that you/he/she had closed after few years was. For me and for the others that had always been a special place, where to sixteen we found us every afternoon on elaborate mopeds that caused trouble and where, a few years later, we hoped to succeed, helped by the beautiful panorama, to make the love in car, each with his/her own conquest.

To arrive us four kilometers of comfortable curves.

I have begun the slope with light footstep and with the music of the reader mp3 in the ears, but after few you draft my march you/he/she has gotten heavy on the warm asphalt of August, the sweat is mixed to the gel of the hair and you/he/she has begun to bother me the eyes, the sweater it is me completely wet and stuck I set. When I/you/they have arrived I was tired and unloaded, but from the tall one the whole country was seen and threw a thread of breeze that the sweat dried me.

I have bewared of the belvedere the whole underlying space for different minutes, the breath you/he/she is slowly slow down and the heart has returned to beat to a normal rhythm. Admiring from the tall one the places where I was grown, I thought to how much in effects I/you had been born in a country for old. A country like so many in Italy, but situated in an anomalous outskirts of summer holidayers and of too much long winter colds. A closed place, hunted from the hills to the shoulders and stoppato from the lake that forever it bathes the feet. A road to arrive us, one to leave.

It seemed that everything was immovable, been equal for centuries, and I considered how much to be born in a hull of the kind imposed in effects a clean choice: to remain or to leave.

We had remained all and five and the things you/they were never changed, we was never changed.

Then the new light has come to mind in the eyes of Mark when he/she spoke of his/her own future,

the relationship with Chiara already to the shoulders and Mario that it reproached me to give me too importance.

I have felt again melancholy, damp of lake and lock, in attended.

Attends him it was in absolute the component of my life that I would have eliminated forever. Mine is the generation of the hurry after all, that of the fast ultra adsl, that he/she buys the cherries in February to the supermarket. Accordingly, the patience of the attended me I had never had her.

Yet really in that days I realized as in the life I/you had not made nient'altro that to wait. It seemed me to have spent the years waiting that happened something that modified the inactivity of which I was imprisoned. How many times I had attended an occasion, an unexpected train, also an abrupt shock. How many times I had dreamt that marvelous things happened me, advantageous working opportunity, amazing meetings with perfect women, even unexpected inheritance or sudden wins. Had also happened me to build very negative thoughts on what would have waited me in a life, in my life. Me scervellavo on as I would have reacted to the sudden death of a darling, of a relative, of a friend. I calculated the impact that a tragedy or an accident or a physical impairment would have been able to have on my person. I had come even to imagine as a cataclysm or the burst of a war you/they could modify my small existence. I thought and I waited, the best and the worse, and to lengthen attends him I held me in movement.

I would not know how to say from how much time, but I felt me as an unaware hamster that races in the wheel and, for how much it bothered me to think of me so fool and fool, considered the job, the loves dragged with inactivity, the superfluous social relationships, the evenings in the disco to kill him of Long Island as an immense wheel in which I had started racing attending that for some completely unknown motive it opened my gabbietta.

What had I done for shifting me from that numbness? Nothing, absolutely nothing.

I complained me, I analyzed the things that were not all right me with endless complications, but I was not but an immature paranoiac that refused to grow a bamboccione.

While I was thinking continuosly about for the nth time, the air has begun to make to dry me the lips and the sweat and the gel of the hair you/they have started to throw me on the skin of the cheeks.

The lake went inverdendosi, I have understood that it would have rained and accordingly I have taken back the road to return home.

It has rained, rain of August, rain that when it comes down desire of buttarcisi it comes under to challenge its strength. I like the summer storms, those that a" fourth of ago it was now beautiful time and now it seems night", those with lightnings and maddish thunders that if you are in the house you throw down the blinds. To say the truth however, that afternoon I have taken so much water that the skin has come me as a duck and the desire has passed me to challenge the strength of the nature.

Arrived home I have left the suits on the door. The shoes unthreading you/they have made her a rubbery noise, they were full of water and I had the soft and cold toes as raw canes of fish. I have immediately slipped under the shower.

I love taking the shower, there are periods of the year in which I/you/they am able of to do a day four of it. They are not one of those people that are had to wash so much because they have a bad odor. They are not one of those that if they are 10 minutes to the sun they know about Taleggio. Chicken is one of those. Chicken is one that if you take together us a trip in car, you go down that it seems yourself to have passed the whole trip to grigliare tomini. Me the shower I do her/it because it relaxes me, it reinvigorates me, me calm. I have read on a magazine that who washes ago often it to purify himself/herself/themselves from his/her own guilts, it seems me you call effect Macbeth. It will be, but I consider anymore it a moment of quiet, an antistress; as when I masturbate me.

To the respect, I have to say that with to spend some years the frequency of my sessions of auto-eroticism you/he/she is decreased but I have to admit that I still use me of this practice. Not as Chicken however. Chicken was able of to masturbate 3, 4, 5, turned a day. From world title.

The beautiful one is that it told you everything, also the things that nobody would ever have told. Even it reached the" Wine cellar" touching the package anchors him exclaiming conceited:

«Today 3 following!»

Us, when that gruesome stories happened, we had a good time also asking him the smallest details: where, with thing, thinking to whom. We set questions of an absolute reservation, to which Chicken responded with disarming purity.

Mythical Chicken, of him I know things inenarrabili: that it learned to limonare inserting the language in the bottles of glass and that, teen-ager, had sexual relations with different types of sock. A phenomenon.

Despite pits August and it made a lot of heat, I have washed as always with hot water and neutral soap. When I have ended to rinse me however I/you/they are given me a tap of lukewarm water and then, disdainful of my limit, I have turned the handle grip on the cold, completely cold. To today I have not understood yet if the done shower" to the Scot" both a healthy practice or an idiotic custom, but I/you/they are gone out of the shower rigid as a codfish from cell, with two grapes of grape to the place of the testicles and a prawn frozen in mean. I have warned an almost immediate feeling of comfort, to confirmation of the goodness of the Scottish routine, even if, the day later, among a gargle of anti-inflammatory and a tablet for the throat, with the ardent tonsils I have cursed whole Scotland.

However gone out of the bath with, tied up in life the stolen white towel to the hotel" Lilac" of Rimini, I felt me a lion.

I have opened again the refrigerator and it was still obviously empty.

In effects I had done him more as automatic gesture, is not that I hoped that in my absence someone had filled him. I have dressed for going out and to go to the supermarket but, while I was looking for the keys of the car that" I am sure they were them", Chicken has made me a ring on the jail cell.

I have called him back, imagining that as usual the bum didn't have credit.

«Excuse I didn't have money.»

«And when you ever have them?»

«From the, where are you? I have to talk to someone.» It was serious.

«Thing has happened? Is it an important thing? Not do do joke me because me incazzo!»

«Nothing jokes, tell where you are that I reach you.»

«They are at home, I was going to shop. Always if I find the keys of the car. If you have need aspect to go out however» I have said before the look fell me on the keys that were really where I was looking for her without finding her.

«You also go out, we see us in front of the supermarket in 10 minutes.»

«Beh, but if you want you also come to house...»

«No, I wait you to the entrance, move you. Hi.»

«Ok, arrival!»

It was strange to feel Chicken with the so serious voice, also because the last time that had had the same serious tone in the voice had been when you/he/she was left with Monica. You/he/she had left him/it she, betrayed him/it from months and me I knew him/it. I had almost gathered her red-handed, hand it walked in the hand as nothing happened with one companion of his of university that possessed a motorboat moored to the dock and a German auto by 180 horses. You after all to the epoch it studied law and from good future lawyer it began to train himself/herself/themselves to the astuteness. To Chicken I didn't have and I have never said anything, but considering that as I befriend I felt me a worm, I had somehow tried to address I pour him/it the unquestionable truth that Monica was a big puttana. And it was not him/it because it betrayed him/it, rather it was him/it because went saying that he was in love of Chicken for his/her joy and for his/her simplicity and then it didn't do whether to diminish him/it and to make idiot feel him/it in every occasion.

When he went out to couples it was unbearable to see how it treated him/it and with what epithets it apostrophized him/it. To understand us, once in tail in the cinema you/he/she turned to him this way:

«Interdict, doesn't see that you/they have opened another box!»

Says with a stupid voice that I would have broken her teeth on the glass of the box-office.

Chicken despite everything was in love of Monica and you/he/she would never have left her.

We believed the brain you/he/she was drunk, but we have never made great things to open his eyes, everything it was happy this way. When Monica has left him, he has called me and we has gone to smoke us a cigarette to the usual belvedere. Monica had given as him some cruel absurd motivations. You/he/she had told him that it had need to think only about herself and the study and that he took her too energies. You/he/she had also sworn him not to have any other man and that if he/she was seen beside someone in a future it was alone with him. Two weeks later Gianca has seen her go down from a motorboat and to climb on a sporting car: raged, you/he/she has not adopted my same reservation and it has rendicontato the everything to Chicken that you/he/she has remained really badly clearly there.

I repeat, Monica was really a big puttana.

Pleased to have found again the keys I have closed the door of house and I/you/they have been climbed in car.

Nevertheless the trill of the jail cell has still stopped me, it was again Chicken. "Lasciaperdereneparliamodopoadessostounposolo." It made me become furious because he/she wrote the smses without spaces among the words. It did him/it to save characters, also when it was not necessary.

Me has not even passed for the head to favor the message of Chicken and to go as nothing happened to shop. The road that brings to the belvedere have taken, the same one that I had done a little first racing, the same four kilometers of curves comfortable, even if very fatiguing to cross in car.

As I had imagined Chicken it was there, sat on the guardrail with the supported feet as soon as, it seemed a baby in swing.

I have parked to few meters from him and I/you/they have gone toward him.

«I knew that would have found you here! Can you/he/she be known now that cazzo you have? Before call me looking for a shoulder, then you tell me of lasciar to be. You are really everything fool. Do you now tell me him what has happened or no?» I have begun.

Chicken is turned of release and at that time account that I/you had reached him is made perhaps only. It had an expression that was not neither sad neither angry, rather absorbed and distracted, stunned.

«My father has a stain on the liver» you/he/she has announced syllabic.

I/you/they have been firm and silent, in unstable balance among to pronounce sentences of circumstance and the to lavish me in consolatory gestures. He has taken advantage of my silence to make sense of better himself/herself/themselves, with a clarity that frankly I didn't do him.

«It was not well, it always felt him tired and my mother has convinced him to make some examinations of the blood that the doctor had commanded him. I knew him/it that to fury of you shout above us that accursed large head he/she remained. When you/he/she has made the cazzos of examinations, the doctor has seen that the liver went badly. He/she thought about the cirrhosis and you/he/she has prescribed him to make an ultrasoound. It has a stain. A great shade as a lemon that could be a tumor. A malignant tumor.»

«From the, it is not said!» I have exclaimed trying to open, who knows because, small openings of possibilismo.

«It is not said? An alcoholic as him that it has all the examinations to puttane, it is badly, is it tired and does it have the holes in the liver that has? The tonsillitis according to you?» you/he/she has realistically beaten Chicken.

«And does he know him/it? Has you/he/she talked to the physician? How has you/he/she picked her up?» I have asked.

Nient'altro had not come to mind if not that stupid question from the bitter obvious answer as. How can a person be felt to which diagnose a crab?

The fact is that I was always interested in the human lapels of the facts that happened. If I talked to a person to which you/they had stolen in the house, it didn't interest me to know how much you/they had brought away him, rather I felt like asking as it felt it about seeing his/her own things turned upside-down.

I was still thinking continuosly about on how much the question had been idiotic when Chicken has shocked me.

«Who rubs of as has picked her up! You know what it cares of of it as you/he/she has taken her that alcoholic of the cazzo. What was it waited? A prize? Do you destroy yourself for twenty years with liters of wine per diem and does thing deserve yourself a cup? I think about my mother, after Dennis it didn't deserve him a life so, it didn't deserve him to remain with the wrong child and with an alcoholic husband.

Yet my mother has always known how to go on and you/he/she has spent all of his/her strengths to hold standing a family that doesn't exist. Now that my father will die what he remains also her? Me? I don't even want there to think. I don't want this responsibility, but I don't even want to leave her/it alone however.»

I didn't understand what I saw in the eyes of Chicken, if it were hate or contempt or anger, but there was something, something that I had never seen and that I didn't succeed in clearly reading. Years of reflections and personal meditations, intimate considerations of which I would ever be imagined me. Has happened that in an only instant, a person with which was grown practically sharing all, it became an extraneous incomprehensible.

Dennis is dead an evening of August.

The Cagiva Mito 125 redhead embraced to a platan, him sedicenne forever. Of that event I possess a purely mental image a personal elaboration built on what I have felt to say. I was nine years old, Chicken ten.

I perfectly know instead how much, from that moment, Chicken is considered a wrong child, unjustly survived, an error of the evolution. I have never believed that you/he/she had matured that conviction for responsibility of his/her family, of his/her mother or of his/her father, rather Chicken had elaborated only a merciless analysis and certainly unfair of the facts. Dennis was a beautiful boy of almost 80kg that it aimed to swollen sails toward the electronic expert diploma. Titular doorman of the under 21 regional, it was with a beautiful girl of whom traces are found in still the about ten scattered photos some anywhere in the house Chicken.

When the ambulance the most greater brother of Emanuele has arrived you/he/she had already died. Yet nothing was not seen after the impact, any sign, seemed that he/she slept, with the broken neck, it seemed it rested on the lawn. I know all the particular because from children, while we were playing to Metroid with the Nintendo 8 bit, happened that the father of Chicken reentered to prey house to one of his/her alcoholic deliriums and told every thing between a hiccup and the other.

The father of Chicken drank for a long time and a dead child was not but a pretext to do him/it without being then too convict. Not that pits one of that troublesome drunkards that beat his wives or his/her children and not even one of those sticky that while they are annoyingly pushing you they ever tell events successes. The father of Chicken, Mr. Giovanni, was to low and red hand, with the beard ingrigita that made him/it similar to garden dwarf. Taciturn and absent, it gave of him a benevolent idea, built on about ten funny episodes. As when you/he/she had sprinkled fatally in the house and for five minutes of clock a toxic insecticide with the objective to destroy a whole ant hill. Defeasible job, compared satisfied himself to Hitler and the fact to the holocaust. Memory shouts her of the mother of Emanuele and the laughters polluted by the gas of us two. The beautiful thing is that of ants in that house nobody had ever seen the shade.

Among us friends we often spoke of the vice of dad Chicken. We did him/it laughing us, as with the whole rest. To Chicken you/he/she has never bothered. Himself, in the ignorant evenings where a glass throws the other, it sometimes went out toasting:

«From the that we become all as my father!»

Instead some death of Dennis has not almost never spoken. Some for delicacy or fear, some because even Chicken considered only her as a belonging event to its infancy, away from his/her own life. It tried to see her/it as a thing ever happened and, at least up to that moment, I thought there you/he/she had succeeded.

After having listened I discharge him/it cold of Chicken I didn't know really thing to say.

I have tried to elaborate a consolatory discourse to say the a little convinced truth. Fortunately I/you/they have departed with the wrong foot and him, that it didn't feel like feeling nothing if not the silence of the wind, has instantly slashed me.

«Manu I think that you would owe...»

«Not to call me Manu that is from fennel! Offer me a cigarette and it throws some the breath, cantastorie of the cazzo.»

And we have remained to smoke there, with in the eyes the panorama of the belvedere and that lake that we bring engraved us inside as the feeling, as old as the first man on the earth, not to understand from where he arrives and where he goes.

To look far us from, in perspective and with the correct colors, we would have been able to be a picture expressionist. A picture that the author would have had to call" Souls of lake."

After a few minutes, almost embarrassed in to upset the so pleasant silence, I have asked to Chicken:

«You are sure to want to depart? If it is not the moment we postpone, we wait.»

«In this moment there is not what that want more whether to go from here» you/he/she has answered flat.

We have still chatted some, then I have greeted him when you/he/she had recovered by now the coglione face that it marked him/it, even if with the eyes more determined.

I have continued the afternoon shopping and I have disbursed well European centotrentasei and twenty-one cents: a capital.

Hate when gives me the accursed centesiminis of rest, they don't serve to anything and they also stink.

The first times in the supermarket I spent exaggerated figures and it seemed me not to have bought anything. The problem was that I acknowledged only me the value of my purchases when I arrived home and I emptied the envelopes: I was systematically a dissatisfied buyer. That time however, when I have emptied the envelopes, you/he/she is seemed me to have become better.

Only mole, not to be able to foresee the attack of the desires.

I sometimes wanted comparable to those a pregnant woman and suddenly desire of Coconut had come me. I have made up for cutting the melon, nail sends away nail.

I have turned on the stereo connected to the computer and I have put to smanecchiare in the musical file: almost ottomila titles illegally unloaded. Flowing with the mouse, I have selected different traces, the most proper for the moment, and the casual reproduction is initiated with": Who knows if in sky they pass the Who", always of uncle Luciano Ligabue.

I have taken an album of photo and I have started skimming through him/it.

Despite the digital cars, the albums on cd and the loaded photos in the social network, my more beautiful photos I have her all printed ones.

I like to think that my generation will be the last to have the photos on the paper of the dwarf that did" ciribiribì." I like to think that ours will be the last generation with the printed memoirs.

I have opened the bulletin-board and I have begun to flow the pages lens.

The attention was crystallized here and it on particular almost irrelevant: The suit of Gianca, horrible and verdino, that his/her mother imposed him on Sundays; the sandals of Mark, brought with the white stockings of sponge respecting him/it stereotype of the typical German; the lawn of the oratory, always full of stones and cacche of cat; the ball of European 92' with the red and black rhombuses; the doorman gloves of Chicken, that seemed in everything and for everything those of Walter Zenga, but they cost 10 thousand liras; the dusty hair of David.

You/he/she has given me a thin pleasure to contemplate some the memoirs and to see how much we were grown remaining always after all the same and, without understanding as, I have fallen asleep.

When I wake up I was sweaty and sticky, but I had the feeling to have made an illuminating dream, only that as usual I didn't remember anything. Grown foolish, I have waited that finished" A sense" of Vasco, then I have extinguished stereo and PC and I am thrown in the bed.

The following week we would have departed for ours" trip to the bachelorhood."

### 10. The last retouches.

The morning at 9.30 o'clock I was awake and, despite I didn't have the hurry to reach the place of employment, I have had the usual ritual breakfast with the usual exact times, only that have remained more some under the shower. After being washes me, I have put to fumble with the computer, worried about not to have provveduto to the realization of the sonorous column of the trip yet. I loved to create Cd devoted to the events and I possessed the custom designed compilations of almost all the trips and of different organized parties. Besides the" Calabria 2004" and to the two volumes" Monk 2006", there was the everlasting one" Summer' 99" and the always green" New Year's eve 2001." In more, the whole harvest for the life of every day, for the moves in car, for the stereo of the bath.

In that period my definitive compilation" PC" (Paul Compilation) you/he/she had reached quota sessantotto titles, even if to say the truth I had for house two PC 18 and two PC 27 without however to have any PC 30. I was forgotten him to me. To every way, I held shed Cd anywhere and more times I had risked a façade with the car in the attempt to change disk while I was driving. I became crazy trying to unthread and to insert my creations in the case box with the open plastic pockets on a side, every time they were folded up me the angles and I did an inhuman work to put again the Cd to place. How come anybody I wondered me you/he/she had invented a more comfortable system and I had started even planning a more practical system. I had not succeeded there. To obviate, would have been able to buy an autoradio that he/she read the MP3s, to connect us a portable reader with a good memory and to resolve the problem. This however you/he/she would have enacted the term of the production of compilation and I have desisted soon. The first times I considered my harvests as exclusive and only anthologies, then, entering the car of a friend of Chiara, a certain Laura, has noticed that you/he/she had scattered for the cabin numerous titled cd" LC" (Laura Compilation) and that the disk listened at that time, contained in common a lot of traces with my harvests. You/he/she has been at that time that I have understood how much the cars of the whole world were full of Paul, Laura, Luca, Franco, Michael, Joan, Colette and even Rashid Compilation and, to detach in that so competitive world of traces audio, has begun to absolutely make Compilation and collage of absurd songs. I mixed unknown artists of Italian traditional music or foreigner with the classical ones of the pop one, concert music and sacred monsters of the rock, music light Italian and sonorous columns of film. I mixed the creations without a precise connection, in an eccentric cocktail of illogical music. A condominium of artists where coinquilinis were Bocelli and Eminem, Puccini and the Dire Straitses, the Negritas and the Maloses Cantores. I liked the whole casualness, it caught me every time and it gave me the possibility to find in every album at least a proper song for the moment.

David when it climbed on on my car it put on fixed to smanettare with the autoradio. Before it reproached me to be a blunderer, even it said then:

«Also do me him to me a Cd in which so many are of it. But not cagate, beautiful songs!»

David didn't understand a cazzo of music and you/he/she would not have known how to distinguish the Pink Floyd from the Queen, however you/he/she had a romantic musical mind, even if some naive and decidedly mieloso. If I proposed him great medley with Gigi Di Alessio, Titian Ferro, Paul Meneguzzi and Mark Carta I broke down an open door.

My musical passion grazed the mania and in effects I had also tried to play her/it the music, but my vocation was anymore decidedly the listening. I know a lot of authors, a lot of memory texts, a lot of solo of guitar or bases of arcs or you roll of battery. I was so fixed to consider me a kind of musical critic. Not one of those that make merciless critiques on the blogs, only an experienced consumer, a connoisseur.

Certain times it ended that I settled down me with a motive or with a strophe and I listened to him up to the nausea. Looking at a for example, replies of Benny Hill I was taken me one fixed for the tune" But nah but nah"e I had spent four days continuously passing him/it in every instrument of reproduction to my course. I believed to go crazy.

However, when I have ended of masterizzare the Cd for the trip to the bachelorhood I didn't know whether to name them. I have attended, to the search of a title, ten good minutes with the lost look in the screen of the PC and the black pennarello in the hand. At the end I have written": Mark, turn of Italy, volume one, two and three" and a good name is seemed me.

At 11.00 o'clock, before putting me to the stoves, I have decided to grant me a moment of antistress on some correct site, but I have not done in time, stopped by the phone call of my mother that he/she asked me if at least in vacations I felt like having lunch from them. I have accepted.

I/you/they have arrived to house of mine that it missed few to midday, correct the time to grant me that moment of antistress on some correct site that by now I had put scheduled.

It always gives me a strange feeling to return home. To return in that that is not my house anymore, but that I have always considered my house, even if indeed you/he/she has never been my house, agreement as ownership. In short it does me strange to return in the place, where I/you/they are grown.

The net that coasts along the avenue, that where in summer the flying bucks were broken, it was there always and the apartments seen lake of the ladylike condominium, conceived and been born in the magic ones' 70 to seduce the desires of wealthy buyers, had not suffered great interventions of façade, also preserving a pleasant and harmonious aspect.

They were almost two months that I didn't go from mine, I don't know the motive. I saw my father because I gave to find him/it in the bookstore, I saw my mother because it gave to find me to house, I saw my brother because we found around us, but to the old house I didn't return there; I repeat, I don't know the motive.

You/they had just restructured the atrium of the building. It was brighter and to the place of the carpet, you/they had placed plates of white marble to half wall. Luckily, the renewal didn't twist the essence of that entry that for a long time I held pits a room of decompression between the house and the world: sufficiency Heat in the months winter, fresh and restful in the summer months.

Entered house, nobody has come me meeting barking insistent. Pippo, the half-caste wrangler of mine, had become so much deaf and old to have lost the desire of sbranare the intruders.

I have greeted my mother without particular smancerie, she has done the same with me. My father had not reentered yet. I have looked for then Henry, but he/she still slept and you/he/she had probably done very slow because it was sleepy of whom has passed an evening it toasts.

Contrarily in the whole house, Henry's room, that first it was our room and first it was only still room my, you/he/she was changed completely. The walls painted to the best in blue and in blue, the collage of photo attached here badly with patches of adhesive ribbon and her, the poster of Bruce Lee with the scratch on the breast and the hand that it was not understood as you/he/she was positioned, the collection cans and the cup 2001 good gunboats, even the mobiletto with tactical drawers full of material pornographic: there was not more nothing. Henry had cancelled every trace of my passage. The room that my was alone, become then our room and after still room of Henry, it was a normal anonymous room with white walls painted without castings of color, some photos framed in frame minimal, the portable one and two blue biros on the desk of clear wood, a screen Lcd hung in front of the bed, the shirt of the departed evening well silver ware above the appendiabiti.

Henry had just developed the examination of maturity and the deserved summer rest enjoyed just him as I had done me before beginning mine tormented and depressing university career.

After all my father has always thought soft educational lines: if you did your job of student and you were promoted, no summer jobs. I don't believe that my mother, inflexible as it is, it agreed so much, but when sbottava inveighing that" they are not spoiled so his/her children" and that" it is not possible to get up every day to midday", my father answered her that" there is once for everything and that we would have had to work of it of time."

To my opinion it was right.

I have drawn near to the bed of Henry not knowing if it were the case to wake up him/it or less. My mother, that turned for house as in the meantime possessed for the domestic matters, every doubt has removed from me.

«Wake up goes him/it! What every day you/he/she cannot be lifted to midday!»

Then I have wakened up him.

«Enrincoglionito, good morning!» I have whispered vigorously shaking the loom of the bed.

«Ah, hi! Does Cazzo do us here?» you/he/she has answered perplexed.

«Behs, are in vacations! Can I sometimes return home also, no?» I have replied.

«And thing you want? Do you eat here?» you/he/she has asked again, almost bored by my presence.

«Oh, not do exaggerate with the regards, begs me! I would not like to move me for all these sentimentalisms! You give, vatti to wash that you are already me on the balls!» I have concluded esterrefatto.

«Minchia that headache!» you/he/she has exclaimed in innocence, before getting up of release to race to make himself/herself/themselves a shower. It had the face swollen style" Munch's Cry" just as his/her brother.

With Henry in bath, I/you/they have returned in the living room asking to my mother if I had to prepare. You/he/she has not answered, it was in competitive trance.

My mother is Olympic champion of cleanings of house, black belt fifth dan of scrubbing brush and university teacher during" techniques and strategies anti-acaro."

Rags and straccetti, climb anywhere, ago cleaning in free climbing and it possesses such a powerful vacuum cleaner to suspect that has put make up on him as we did us with the mopeds.

When mother is taken back by the fury, you/he/she has murmured «No, she leaves alone, I do me!»

Favoring I/you/they are gone out her/it on the balcony to smoke me a cigarette.

From house of mine the lake is seen.

It is an exceptional panorama, almost to the levels of the belvedere. I will have fixed, but the sensational thing, the most unbelievable thing of that panorama, is in the not to have considered before never that foreshortening the same of the day. For 26 years in that house, I am sure to never have seen a sunset or a dawn, equal to another and every time that I have looked with the correct eyes, new and unthinkable colors have made me feel a privileged.

I remember a morning when I woke up soon. There was still the moon, enormous and very beautiful, that infused an almost mystical energy to every profile of house and every gradient of ground. As an amazed tourist, has gone off a photo with the digitalis. Framed, now it is suspended in room as it was a poster of a distant place.

To midday and a half my father has arrived.

So careless and sweaty, under a ridiculous capellino brought in ridiculous way, when I have seen him enter you/he/she is seemed me more old man. To August the bookstore was closed and he was given to the garden, just as an elderly. Owner of a beautiful slice of agricultural ground, in the time you/he/she had built you a cottage and a pair of unauthorized farmhouses. A beautiful garden, a small orchard, two caprettes and a hen-pen constituted the most greater part of its appointments and the pacific oasis of its loneliness. I believed that in effects that ground pits the shelter of my father and fact never went there.

Just acknowledged him my presence, you/he/she has greeted me almost surprised. You/he/she has extinguished the cellular phone with the usual difficulty for the littleness of the keys and you/he/she has gone to wash him the hands. Gone out of the bath where Henry sticks himself/herself/themselves you/he/she was washing, table is sat to and you/he/she has opened the wine: a Cabernet.

At 12.45 o'clock we were all and four ready for the lunch, thing that never happened when we lived together everybody, because each of us had his/her own times, his/her own dishes, the own tovaglietta. Mother in fact for the event you/he/she had exposed the tablecloth of institution.

It has not needed that we penetrated a lot there in the meal because my mother started to storm me of questions.

«How the job goes? Chiara you have seen her again? Have you felt her? And your hateful colleague? Is there still? And when you depart? And when he marries Mark? But is it happy? But have you/they looked for him his/her child or has you/he/she happened?» You/he/she has bombarded me, gossipy and curious as I didn't remember. I was aware of how much hunger it had to see me and to speak to me, but I have in every declared case that if you/he/she had had intention to poison me the food with a third degree of his, I would have returned sat home of it stante. Passed the abrupt reaction, I have answered with calm to all the set questions.

For the rest, it was a more normal scene that of us to table. An any Italian family: my father, my mother, me, Henry and the Cabernet. Only Henry was particularly silent and I hypothesized that you/he/she had spent indeed a hard evening, because when you/he/she was in vein Henry he spoke a country house.

While I was eating overwhelmed by the chatters of my mother, I have realized that Henry by now it was a man. I had never done there case, I had always thought that my smaller brother would have been forever my little brother and believed that I would always have had on him the power to decide to thing he plays or thing looks him in television. An instant and my little brother have become distracted you/he/she had biologically become a complete man, as me.

Mother had prepared the salad of rice, you/he/she had done her for me, because I adore him.

There is inside everything in a salad of rice sort as it is owed: gherkins, carciofini, olives, wurstel, ham, cheeses, peppers, peas, corn, everything. Yet the salad of rice doesn't know neither of gherkins, neither of carciofini, neither of olives, neither of wurstel, neither of ham, neither of cheeses, neither of peppers, neither of peas, neither so much less than corn. The salad of rice, knows about salad of rice and, to want to see, the people are some as the salad of rice. I am so full of sides, draw, attitudes and facets, that cannot be defined of precise. Them same are alone.

Ended to eat the first dish I have taken a long glass of wine. I would like to have notions of enologia, to be as the sommeliers of the television programs that look at the color of the wine, they sniff him/it, they taste him/it and they recommend the proper combinings with the food. I like to look when they taste him/it and they absolutely find amazing calls. Certain times however, when I drink, I wonder me as can find in a wine signs of graphite or musk and I wonder me if, to recognize the taste of the graphite, trains us eating the mines of the pencils.

A thing that puts me to uneasiness is when they make you taste the wine to verify if the bottle is all right. Once I have had the face, it toasts to say that wine was bad and I has made to replace the bottle. When I have opened the new bottle, I have realized that it was not a matter of maintenance, it was really that wine that made cagare.

However the Cabernet of my father was good and as always agreeable, contrarily of Henry that was dark and shady. I have tried to understand what it didn't go and I have asked him:

«Enrì, thing you have? Six moscios!»

«I have ache of teeth!» you/he/she has answered scorbutic.

«The whole week that is this way! That is only well with his/her friends» polemic mother is inserted, and despite also me I/you had tried uneasiness for the irritating cut of the tones, I/you/they have remained of stone seeing how Henry you/he/she was literally inflamed and violent against her.

«But you that cazzo you want? Have I asked you something? Possible that owe always to say yours?»

«Henry speaks well» you/he/she has tried to soothe him/it my father, cantilenante and demotivato.

Henry however it was uncontrollable. It was as possessed, and I didn't understand what you/he/she could instigate so much ferocity. The answer that has given to my father has not been certain tender.

«But pure vaffanculo you!»

And after having recorded my incredulity, you/he/she has gotten up from table, the keys of the car that it divided with my mother and you/he/she is gone out beating the door has taken.

I have immediately understood that behind the attitude of Henry there were motivations of which I was unaware and the bland opposition too much that had received from mine it was not but a confirmation.

It had an illegible hate in the eyes.

In every case, I have not asked nessun'altra explanation to my parents and however they is involved as if they wanted to reorganize happens him. Discussions as those then I had lived her thousand turned by protagonist and I didn't want of sure a revision.

I have ended to eat with rapidity, as soon as in time to avoid to assist to a new quarrel.

My mother has started to accuse my father to be a soft man, one that didn't count anything in family, and you/he/she has continued sustaining that she would never be been able to turn so to his/her mother without taking a lot of blows from my grandfather. My father, an eye and a half to the Newscast, have beaten her that Henry had exaggerated, but she could avoid to intervene himself/herself/themselves in that way.

Open yourself sky.

I have done for lifting me and I have communicated to my mother that the week would have departed to come. I have added thoughtful not to worry himself/herself/themselves about nothing, that I was well and that I would have called them me.

You has not considered a lot my recommendations, too assembled to accuse his/her husband.

«Here see, once that your child comes, do him/it escape! Beautiful family that we are!»

Subsequently sees the hurry with which I was about me to run away from the teatrino, you/he/she has added concise «Paul you go to find Mr. Mario that is fallen again. It is to the hospital, you/he/she has told me him the lady Lina. It seems that this time is made seriously evil!»

I have immediately greeted both without great gestures. Both have reserved me a false benevolence, they almost wanted to make to intend to be victim one of the other. The thing has given me deeply bother, but I have avoided to pronounce me and to throw other gasoline on the fire.

While I was crossing the path with the net where in summer the flying bucks were stamped, I still felt it shouts her of my mother and I imagined the disagreeable silences of my father. I have been ashamed for them, then I have stopped listening to them and I have tried to remember me who cazzo was Mrs Lina.

The odor of hospital was as I remembered. Mine was an ancient memory, I had not been in the hospital anymore from when I had had the bronchopneumonia. I was 13 years old. Yet that odor remains you so engraved that I/you/he/she don't forget him/it anymore. You can be in Milan, to Pescara or to Catania, but the odor is there always that: a bouquet made of detergents of cheap brands, disinfectant alcoholic, ether, gusts of urine and wax for floors. You want for the odor, you want for the environment, there are people that would never go us to the hospital. David would be able of to also undergo an operation alone himself/herself/themselves the calculations not to have hospitalized. To me it doesn't bother, if not that to be in a place where people are sick, where the people some times you/he/she dies.

I have asked to a nurse where I/you could find Mr. Broggini Mario. Irony of the destiny, was in the room twenty-four, as in the rest home, only that this time didn't have him choice him to see the lake, had given him the first free.

The department of general medicine seemed really the antechamber of the end and relatives and friends came to find the extinct darling, that extinct still it was not. I have crossed different people with the serious and ready faces, you dress in formal suits, they seemed appearances to the takings with the tests of a funeral. Me, kick shorts and infradito, were out decidedly place, but I/you/they have made once only account of it entered.

Reached the twenty-four I have found the door it was closed and out of the room a lady that resembled to a big quail watered of perfume by old men: it waited that they opened.

«It is here for Mr. Broggini?» the quail has begun.

«Yes.» I have answered lapidary, it didn't suit me to make conversation.

«You/they are washing him/it, you/he/she is unloaded.»

I would have suggested to the quail to make himself/herself/themselves a bicchierino of his/her cazzis and that the jail cell unload him, the trucks unload him, the batteries unload him not the people. I have simply nodded.

«It is a relative?» you/he/she has taken back the gossiper.

«No.»

«A nephew?»

I would have liked to answer her:

«Linguacciuta snoops that are not other, had I/you been a nephew, would I also have been relative no?» In reality I have hissed only «I am a friend.»

While I was praying that that door they opened, the quail has gone on, indiscreet and annoying to the improbable one.

«I am the wife of the Renzo. Does the Renzo of the fruit know him/it? We had down the bench in country. Ah, me the Broggini I remember well him to me! Commanded in the bank, has been I also verify! Was a well-off gentleman and had of it of money! Yet now you look as you/he/she is tanned. It doesn't even recognize the people. Death is really true it puts again us all to the same level.»

I would have had to answer to the lady impicciona that his/her Renzo I didn't know him/it, considering that in the neolitico, when they sold fruit, I had not been born yet; and I would also have added that not even to die 200 times, my dear lady quail would be leveled with a man as Mr. Mario. I would have sustained besides that if his/her beautiful Renzo was ended in the hospital, it was certainly for resting himself/herself/themselves some from that it breaks balls, gossipy of his/her wife.

Instead drawing to full hands to the reservoir of the patience, an I have confined to «Eh already.»

Then you/he/she has opened the door.

The ricircolo of air given by everybody and four the open windows, didn't cover entirely the odor of the" load" of Mario. The famous Renzo, in a beige pigiamino that I would not even have worn under torture, he/she read a newspaper of gossip while Mr. Mario, beautiful comfort in the bed, didn't seem then I know" tanned" as you/he/she had insinuated the giant quail that, entrance, has not missed hardly to underline:

«You look at Mr. Mario, you/he/she has as to find her/it his/her nephew!» forcing me to a new unbelievable exercise of calm.

I have drawn near to the bed of Mario with the good smile for moments as that.

«Mario, but that it combines me? Does he/she anchor you/he/she has not understood that it has the hard skin?»

«Good morning! How is it going? Eheheh, will have also the hard skin but this time the floor it was harder than me. We are there by now, the Luisa is calling me.»

«Mr. Mario, doesn't leave again with his/her discourses fatalist and sees to turn up him the sleeves, that The wants to see her/it walk again for the whole corridor!»

Mario had the broken femur and the shattered basin how much a terracotta vase fallen from a balcony. The results of a façade against a Tir to simply have fallen, again. It didn't need to be orthopedic to understand that there was not any hope that could return to walk, even though to snail as it did him. Nevertheless, I hypothesized that some optimism could help him/it.

You/he/she has been at that time that Mario, as always, spiazzato has me.

«Listen to me some, now. I am old but I am not stupid at all, allow to lose him/it the false optimism.»

I have immediately understood that pits better being realists and I have turned to Mario trying to take the situation for what was.

«It is right, but thing I should tell her? What won't it walk anymore? What are its next perspectives of life already worse of those very bad that had first?»

«My next perspective of life is the death expensive my!» you/he/she has answered serene, calm, even irritatingly true.

I have asked him as you/he/she could be so peaceful and if it even was not afraid.

«I would be afraid to his/her place. Doesn't he/she think that you/he/she could die?» I have also confided.

Mario has looked for a second the correct words to answer, then a distant discourse has started, something that seemed didn't have anything to do with it nothing.

«I would have liked to leave you some teaching, I hope to have succeeded there. I have always thought that in the life, a person become elderly has the duty to teach something. I hope to have you wiseacre to give a contribution. I understand how much, to the times, I/you/he/she feel it unsuitable and unaware of where the world brings yourself. It is normal, after all I have never pretended that to chat with an old man resolved certain your knots. A fool suggestion however I try leave him/it, I hope you will appreciate him.

You live your inadequacy knowing that there are no perfect teachers or perfect men. Alive knowing that there are no exact rules to illuminate the road and that everything absolutely seems absurd because after all it is him/it and nobody is able to explain because is him/it. Alive knowing that however the whole life is something simple and of an immoderate beauty. Understand him/it.»

It seemed a kind of oral will.

You/he/she will have been the language some mystical or the serious tone of voice or the fact that it pronounced those words from a hospital bed, it is sure what me am excited indeed.

Mario has continued the shiny monologue.

«Even if I spent the whole whole life to ask you questions, you will never have any convincing answers. There will certainly be some moments in which you will feel yourself sure of what you are and of what you do, but they will be moments. There will be errors that you will have to complete and solutions that you will surprise you not to have known how to find before. There will be conclusions and answers and things to do and appointments, that will calm you the soul. There will be emotions, feelings, thoughts that will upset her/it to you.

For that that I think of it me, life is spent better if you/he/she is spent to seek the beauty. Also look for its sense if you want, but not to forget you of the marvelous things that you have in front of the eyes. I believe that the meaning is there already, in the things that we see and we live. He/she remembers however that to see her will want us training and concentration, and if despite I strive him/it everything it had to keep on seeming you senseless, it considers how much beautiful is that I/you/he/she am this way. Only living I have learned the meaning of the term" ephemeral." What is true today would be able not to be him/it tomorrow and your happiness of today could become your unhappiness of tomorrow, or vice versa. For me dear my, doesn't stay us that to live. Way of living holding himself/herself/itself light and appreciating the beauty of the things is already a great victory.»

Mario was almost tired when you/he/she has finished to speak and you/he/she was as if you/he/she was striven a lot for communicating those held things so of vital importance. I believe it feared that the sense of the message didn't arrive to me and was as if it hoped to find me able to speak its same language.

Not that it was to understand effortless what handed down me, says not so and in that context.

To say misses I I didn't know him/it to find correct words to reassure him/it: I have looked for her, I have tried to open me how much you/he/she had opened him, but I felt me ridiculous about pronouncing me so in depth.

Mario besides it was under morphine and you/he/she could be us that it rambled. I didn't have excuses.

The lady quail meanwhile, as if nothing pits, listened curious and Renzo, what he/she sold the fruit, enviably read the newspaper of calm gossip. A nurse passed for the corridors to ask to the ill thing they wanted to eat. To you are her of the afternoon.

I/you/they are wrapped me, Mario is excused for all parolonis and the bislacchis exposed concepts, and you/he/she has observed: «I apologize Me, but I am so tired that don't realize what I say. It didn't stuff case, rather you go that among some he/she eats.»

I have greeted him as every time pretending that there were not said then nothing of particularly personal and I have taken the door and I/you/they are gone out.

Before going out I have looked well at him: it didn't seem then indeed me so" tanned badly."

«Good-bye Mr. Mario, sees when The return!»

«Hi Andrew, thanks» you/he/she has answered confused; and the fact that called me as his/her child has not offended me, rather you/he/she has been a pleasure for me, since I knew well that those words that you/he/she had left me were turned to me.

In the parking lot of the hospital, before returning home, I felt me a person for well and I was pleased to have completed the good action to assist that old man.

In reality, from there to few I would have understood how much able had been to give me Mario in that so brief meeting.

Before climbing in car, perfectly lowered still in the part of the good samaritano, I have phoned Henry to see if you/he/she had calmed down. The telephone is rung free for some and really when I believed that he/she didn't answer anymore by now, you/he/she has answered.

«Hi» you/he/she has said.

«Hi Hemming furious! But what did you have today? The case didn't seem me to make that buffoonery with mother and dad! You have been exaggerated indeed.»

«Paul, has to also make me a scene you? If it is so tell me him, that send to pure fanculo you and I make the en plein!»

«Oh, bushels calm. I am calling you to know what has happened, if has happened something that I don't know and you want to speak.»

«Paul allows to lose. You don't see them every day, you by now you have your space and you can rub of it, but I have to sip me every whole day.»

«But everything what? Thing you have to sip you?»

«The disgust that I/you/they are as people» you/he/she has said him and I have understood to thing it referred.

«They are not even greeted, I taken as I am each in the proper business and in their clandestine escapes. They are together from almost thirty years and they don't even dare speak, to let him to clarify him. Then they come to do moral on the maximum systems, as ago dad, or to criticize values and behaviors, as ago mother. With which right? Paul I don't make her/it more, I cannot wait to find a rag of job and to go, to let them to decay in their falsehood.»

Henry was angry seriously and I was not able whether to agree with him.

For years I had kept silent on the behaviors of my parents. For years, after having discovered those that my brother had called" clandestine escapes", I had pretended of nothing. My brother was still too much small to understand, but me, despite you/he/she had been extremely difficult, I had stopped idealizing my parents and I had imposed to consider only them men, with the defects and the limits of all the men. Then me n'ero gone of house and mine had become only a visit to sometimes do, a chatter to sometimes say. Henry no, he had remained, and you/he/she had come to try the same uneasiness that I had tried me, the same sense of impatience toward that parents that with the appearances they covered that that was in effects an absent family, defeat, bleak.

Once ascertained the disgust, its reaction had been hot tempered, distant from my indifferent patience.

«But as you look for job? And the university?» I have asked by now a little convinced.

«Who rubs some university, I would not have gone to every case there, it is only a loss of time» you/he/she has beaten.

I have tried to reassure him/it, but once more you/he/she has been me clear as, insecure as I was, I was not able of to calm really anybody.

«From the, now not to worry you. I promise that I don't kill them. There are some days when I succeed even in bearing them, but today I had headache and unfortunately I have exaggerated some» you/he/she has concluded him.

I have intended to reach him/it, in the case he/she wanted to talk to quattrocchi, but you/he/she has confirmed that not us n'era need, that had calmed down and that you/he/she had been enough for him to feel me to the telephone to recover himself/herself/themselves.

This way, my smaller brother has reassured me as I had not succeeded in doing with him, you/he/she has greeted me and you/he/she is recommended to also have a good time us for him in ours" Trip to the bachelorhood."

Closed the conversation with Henry, I/you/they have been climbed in car trying to think continuosly about the less possible, has not taken then the road for house but that that it brings to the Wine cellar.

To the seven in the evening in the Wine cellar there was never anybody to imagine himself/herself/themselves on Wednesdays.

It was not a cafe from appetizers, it was not a place from seven in the evening. To that time, the old ones that frequented" the Wine cellar" they were in their houses to eat pastina or to look at what was broadcasted on Rai Uno. Each with his/her own wife gotten used to be left every evening alone, each ready to risk him in quarrelsome games of nighttime papers consuming a white in summer or a red in winter.

I/you/they have entered and the cafe was empty, as abandoned.

Silvio ate a sandwich behind the blue curtains of the kitchen; when you/he/she has seen me, you/he/she has leaned out for asking me if I had need. I believe it hoped that I let him end the sandwich.

«No thanks Silvio, aspect.»

I have said and I have started reading out the gazette in the tavolinis.

After ten minutes, Silvio has reached with two middle beers the thorn, you/he/she has supported her on the tavolino where I read and you/he/she has made me understand, without however saying, that that turn offered him him/it him.

He/she almost never spoke. It was not a fool, and you/he/she had understood that if you want to be a good barkeeper it is worthwhile that you listen to everything and all without saying yours, without you export too much.

All we knew him/it as Silvio but the people of the cafe, because of its big massive structure and rotunda, had nicknamed him" Panda - hand." Silvio didn't know his/her nickname or, perlomeno, pretended of nothing and if it did him/it be all right.

You/he/she has leaned the middle beer on the tavolino asking me:

«Then phenomenons, when you/he/she has departed that? But do I say me, could not you make a goodbye to the normal bachelorhood as all?»

«Vabbè Silvio, at the end it is only a vacation, it is not anything of extraordinary. Simply we unite the vacations to the party for Mark. However we depart Monday» I have answered.

«But is he happy or no to marry himself/herself/themselves? Does he/she know him/it what means to have a child and a family?» you/he/she has asked again.

«He says that it is happy and I see him/it beautiful convinced. Then, to tell you that it doesn't have any doubt, that I don't sincerely know him/it. However I see him/it very definite» I have again replied.

«Celebrate well you him your friend, that hurries him to be 50 years old and to lose himself/herself/themselves each for his/her road» you/he/she has closed. Then you/he/she has not said anything, you/he/she has drunk the beer in a breath as it was water and, made a sign, you/he/she has reentered in the cafe to make himself/herself/themselves a coffee.

Toward the 19.30 Chicken, returning from the pescheria, you/he/she has noticed my car parked out of her/it" Great Wine cellar of the river" and you/he/she is stopped.

It stinked in prickly way of his/her own job and it seemed that you/he/she had perfectly removed the sorrows and the doubts of the last time.

«All fact for the camper! Give us the keys Sunday evening! We find here the morning of Monday and him to us it departs!»

«Quant'è at the end the expense?»

«1.250 for the whole week!»

«To the face of the bicarbonate of sodium!»

«Braccino looks that the campers cost. However I have seen him, for me it is a beautiful camper, then it is blue!»

«But the campers usually are not white?»

«Boh, this is blue.»

«Here I knew him/it, but that cazzo of camper you have taken?» I have insinuated picking around it up.

«At all I could choose!» you/he/she has answered serious.

I have worried.

«How, only a camper they had to rental?»

«But is not a rental! It is the cousin of mine ex colleague!»

«What it has the rental...»

«Noneeeee! Don't have a rental, however has a camper! And it lends him/it!»

«Yes, lends him/it for 1.250 European! And the documents? The insurance? Let's do have I fall her/it true?»

«But what helmet I know! We have the camper, at all we owe us to go to beat. And however if it gives him/it, it is because it is everything to place.»

«Chicken, you are not bad, is only that are so much so much ignorant person! If country houses happen you inculo!»

«From the paparinos of the cazzo, not to make me histories. And offer me a beer, thanks!»

«But don't you go home to wash you that stenches as an alga to the sun? Cazzo, stenches like a clearance corpse in a sewer!»

«But what cazzo do you say? I have just washed, to the job, I have washed asunder!»

«Yes, asunder of dung! Chicken you do really disgust!»

«Because?» you/he/she has asked indeed a little convinced to emanate bad odor.

I have not answered, I have shouted only to Silvio to bring us two beers.

«And the chips!» you/he/she has shouted Chicken.

«Yes, so we make fish and chips!» I have added, even if obviously he has not understood her.

I have spent the last days before departing without particular rushes. I/you/they are not gone out a lot; as pits a beautiful summer, I/you/they have been comfortable among the boundaries of the small apartment in lease. With the others we are mainly coordinated there for telephone. Chicken and Gianca I have met them to the Wine cellar a few evenings, David and Mark I have not seen them up to the departure again.

I have shopped taking care of to buy me what should be brought in a trip, even if packing the suitcase I have had the usual feeling that I/you was forgetting me something.

The evening before departing, as every time, I have found it hard to take sleep.

They floated I suspended the thoughts and the considerations on me that I was so insecure and childish, on Chiara that if n'era gone forever, on Susan when it fixed me beautiful and angry, on Mario" conciato"nel read of hospital, on my parents and on Henry and on as in reality I didn't know after all none of them until.

Then I have thought about the friends": each with his/her trip each different, each after all lost inside his/her facts", and to as everything, in a place as this, it never changes, but it continually changes.

## Part Two

### 1. Alassio.

The uncertainty of the stories that happen us aldilà of whatever form of forecast goes. If I have also lived sniffing intimidated the road in front of me, the unforeseen event you/they have caught me. They are unexpected, they are unpredictable.

As usual the first one to arrive I/you/they have been me. I/you/they have entered the Wine cellar that you/they were not the 6.30 yet and, moving myself for the country, you/he/she was seemed me a good idea to decide to depart to that time because I had not crossed soul long live.

Silvio had opened from little, the air of the place was unusually cleaned and he felt perfume of brioche in cooking and of toasted coffee. As every morning it did fresh, despite we were to late August and there pits already a minimum of light.

Silvio, that had a rested very more air to the morning and serene of that that I saw him to the evening, you/he/she has immediately understood that that was the morning of the departure since it never happened that I went to have breakfast from him to that time. You/he/she has asked if I desired the coffee or if I waited for the arrival of the whole group. I have answered him that I would have waited and he has made me a sign, then you/he/she has said:

«Then I go of there to end.» As if somehow it had to justify him.

After a few minutes of attended I have seen to emerge from the fund of the road the car of David. You/he/she has parked in two rapid manoeuvres and shoals and you/he/she has gone down from the auto cursing.

«It doesn't brake a cazzo, they are already to change these brakes of the cazzo, porca puttana!»

I would have liked to make to notice him that to fury to drive as a possessed it was normal that him the brakes consumed him, but I have not said anything, I have greeted him and he is sat together with me to wait.

Despite the light of the sun you/he/she had slowly begun to illuminate the whole country, Mark has arrived with the lighthouses still turned on. You/he/she has gone down from the car with calm and, perfectly rested, you/he/she has begun:

«But the cars we leave here her a week? Mine I bring her/it to house, I have the playpen!»

David and I, that didn't possess but a place auto on the road, are bewared there with solidarity of common social class and we have immediately arranged on the fact that, road for road, at least to the Wine cellar it passed someone and that the cars it was worthwhile to leave her there.

After ten minutes of attended, considering that nobody appeared, we have decided to call Chicken.

«But where are you? Do we decide to depart soon and you delays mezz'ora? It looks that you are indeed a coglione!»

«They are from Gianca, I/you/they are given to pick him/it up. His/her mother has said that ago breakfast and you/he/she goes down, we arrive!»

«And are you to wait for him/it there? That is do make to understand me, are you there that you wait for him/it in the camper, under his/her house, and has not he even leaned out, has you/he/she sent his/her mother?»

«Yes» you/he/she has serenely said Chicken.

«And from how much you are waiting for him/it?» I have asked him bothered.

«No vabbè, only a quarter of now. However I am trying him/it stereo, it works!» you/he/she has answered even more serene and happy, as if a stereo funzionante was a thing of which to positively be surprised.

«You are two heads of cazzo! A stupider than the other!» it has almost howled David so that Chicken it felt, but Chicken has not replied to the insults.

«Here it is! You/he/she is going down, we arrive!» you/he/she has exclaimed for then attaching.

After less than 5 minutes, from the same street fund from which David and Mark had come, you/he/she is seen to emerge a dark blue camper. To bring me before, has reentered in the place and I has ordered a double coffee and a cornet to Silvio to the chocolate.

When I/you/they have returned on the porch of the Wine cellar, Chicken and Gianca you/they had just gone down from the camper. I have avoided every comment to the usual fool face of Chicken, but I have not been able to postpone on the attire of Gianca.

Not away from the thirty, Gianca introduced him to the departure of the" trip to the bachelorhood" in: white tennis shoes with lacing to tear, sock of sponge also it white but with blue line to half leg, cotton pantaloncino green olive and black shirt to half sleeve Flourishing raffigurante during the transformation in Super Sayan.

«Big baby, is going at all to Gardaland with the oratory! The bonnet of Parsley and a you miss" Super Cloths" yellow under the arm to be perfect! Have you had the breakfast that mom has prepared you? Head of minchia, is mezz'ora that we wait you!» I have reproached him with more possible contempt.

«Cazzo you want? He/she thinks about your cazzis paranoiac cantastorie. I travel comfortable me» you/he/she has answered with the same agreeable cruelty.

Is sat all on our habitué tavolino in the porch there and, although I/you had ordered my consummation with wanted advance, our breakfasts have arrived together all after ten good minutes. Ended the breakfast, from true smokers, we have started the usual windmill of multiple lightings. When I have noticed that Chicken had not even bought the cigarettes for that occasion, I/you/they have bursted and I have admonished him with hardness.

«Before and last cigarette that pecks at yourself! If you don't buy her, you don't smoke!»

«I take her to the truck stop, you are calm. Oh, but that you have that you are all nervous ones? Is calm, going to vacation, no?» you/he/she has answered with to serve as relaxed person.

We have greeted Silvio and Silvio you/he/she has greeted us with his/her usual mute signs, there are on its way then toward our companion of trip: the blue camper.

David, recovered Mark that had parked the auto in his/her impeccable playpen, you/he/she is immediately candidate as official driver. The proposal has unanimously been approved immediately.

It was the first time that I salivate on a camper and, once entered, I have taken to look around me as a perplexed and meticulous buyer; then, not even ditches an inspector of the office of hygiene, has begun a rigorous control of the whole environment. I have verified the dimensions and the habitability of the mean, appraised the plain cooking and the refrigerator, the state of the mattresses and the solidity of the table; I/you/they have finally gone to the box and I have looked at that that more it interested me. I was surprised, the stereo worked indeed, just as you/he/she had announced Chicken.

Substantially it was not an ugly vehicle, it was surely a mean than at least 10 years, but the lines were good and the blue one of the strikes he/she conferred an I don't know what of aggressiveness. I have almost immediately forgotten to have spent as a lot it cost a camper from a regular rental. I had verified some price on internet before departing and I was sworn me to kill Chicken in the case you/he/she was introduced with a catorcio. Fortunately the choice of Chicken was not revealed then very bad. You/he/she would have been able better certainly to do of, but surely you/he/she would have been able to do a lot also, very worse.

Chicken just entered has looked for confirmations.

«Then? Considering that show? Do you like?»

Mark has answered placid:

«Yes, nice from the, it is not badly!» It is Chicken, seeing that the mean didn't thrill as the celebrated one, has exclaimed:

«Nice? Only nice? Beautiful my, this is a bomb! What did you want more?»

I Mark then you/he/she has replied composed «Chicken, has not put there beak as you had asked you, but with the money that you have spent I rented 3 of it of camper!»

We had decided to give the trip to Mark and to divide us in four the expenses of the run. Nevertheless the bastard pedant had decided to make the fleas to our organizational plant and you/he/she has immediately come out that, with his/her proverbial meticulousness, the German had consulted a heap of sites specialized internet in the rental and you/he/she had found promotions and discounts and offers irripetibili of which I, that had also looked at something, had not leastly realized. The organizational efficiency of Mark irritated me, sopratutto because, financially speaking, it was the most well-off of all of us, but the same had always conducted a life without the least excess, a checked life, to the saving. After the degree in Economy (obviously 110 with praise), you/he/she had decided to work with his/her father in the firm of family, an average enterprise to family management, ten employees in everything.

You/he/she had decided him own wish and despite it had million of possibility and numerous offers you/he/she had never had afterthoughts. He liked its job, it loved the idea to work for himself, it picked his pride and it did him/it feel entrepreneur. Mark, more than every thing, he/she wanted to consider him master of his/her own destiny.

When you/he/she had announced that Simona and he would be married and that you/they would have gone to live in an unpaid trilocale in 25 years, I had felt like laughing, because Mark's family, the money, those good, had them. You/he/she would have been able to afford very more himself/herself/themselves, but Mark didn't do what account on itself and, for his same intention, perceived from his/her father a middle salary, equal to that of an any young graduate. Even if a choice of the kind imposed him a style of life with few excesses and the continuous prudent analysis of the expenses, it was happy to have her/it undersigned.

Mark for these things was a horse on which to bet.

To every way, after his/her precise statement, I have ordered to Mark the quibbler not to break the coglionis, that of camper this there was and this pecked at him. He has smiled without any conceitedness, as always easy-going.

David has started the mean turning with some difficulties initial the key in the picture of lighting; of release I have looked for in the suitcase the case box of the Cd and, extracted the" Mark - Turn of Italy - volume one", I have passed him to the driver.

We have departed on the notes of" Sweet child or' mines" of the Gunses n' roses, to my opinion an ideal piece to start a trip. In front of us, the road, the sea and the most absurd vacation of our life.

After a good mezz'ora of trip we have reached the entrance of the highway that would have conducted us in Liguria and I has realized than we were distant, so closed in the paesino of lake, from the important arteries of communication and somehow from the whole real life of the peninsula. From the stereo it played again" What's my age again" of the Blink 182 when, as always, the frantic excitement of the first kilometers has left space to the slow adaptation to the run. I looked at the inside of the camper with a more realistic eye in comparison to the first evaluation and I thought to how much, everything, the spaces that were seemed me ample and enough, were in effects as soon as habitable and not certain comforts.

Runs no more than 4 kilometers of highway, Gianca has proposed to stop us in the truck stop. Clearly to stay himself/herself/themselves so early was not a bright idea, but I didn't have any intention to offer other Chicken cigarettes and I have pled the cause sustaining to have to go to bath.

Just entered we have begun to turn as Japanese tourists among the shelves of the small market of the area of service. I looked at the exposed products and I tried the inevitable one, merciless, desire of purchase from Truck stop. I don't know why, but I have always admired with different eyes the articles exposed in the shelves of a Truck stop and every time I warn an uncontrollable buy frenzy. Commodity of which I would ever take care me in a normal supermarket seems me an irresistible invitation, a purchase irrinunciabile. Fortunately I have withstood the demon of the shelf and, after having drunk together everybody a very bad coffee, Chicken you/he/she has bought a packet, a solo, of cigarettes; Gianca is introduced over-the-counter with four envelopes of rubbery candy from the unreasonable forms; David has compared various prices of brushes windshield wipers exposed in the shelf of you auto-reciprocate him; Mark has looked for in vain the usual ones, accursed, candy to the Swiss grasses.

It had a real mania for those cazzos of tablets, and when you/he/she has finally seen her next to over-the-counter, the eyes are not even illuminated him you/he/she had found the Saint Graal.

We are gone out of the truck stop aware that from there to Alassio there would not be more stopped and before we moved there David you/he/she has observed that, being all smokers, it was worthwhile to give him some rules.

«Boys I say: we smoke one to the time, at least we don't poison there.»

«Some that we could also avoid to smoke for 300 kilometers» you/he/she has considered Mark.

«Not to break the coglionis! German salutista of the cazzo! Eaten the candy and bushels good!» you/he/she has beaten Gianca.

«It is not matter to be salutista or less. We are in 5 in a hole, if we smoke all we arrive to Alassio with the asthma» you/he/she has confirmed Mark.

«Not to break the coglionis! I remember you that don't have voice in chapter on the organizational matters of the trip. And however it is not that you have to train you to be his/her dad with us» I have exclaimed.

«Correct, not to break the coglionis» you/he/she has added as Chicken for not to feel been excluded and Mark has finally been silent, so much reasonable that could seem submissive, but submissive you/he/she was not.

Mark was for a long time endowed with endless patience.

The highway flowed as an along monotonous corridor drawn on the Lowland Piedmontese Padana. As every time in which we crossed the lowland, we have generalized on as in such a flat place, damp and always equal, none of us would ever have accepted to live. Yet it is not that we lived to New York or in the City Londinese.

At 10.30 o'clock the autos that directed him toward the sea are suddenly increased of number. I looked her surpass to the right us and to the left, trying to realize in the brief passage which was the destination of every vehicle, what the expectations and the possibilities of the passengers were. I considered the being on a camper with his/her own friends, an enviable privilege and slightly wild and I was delighted me when our mean captured the attention of anybody else vacanziero, it made me feel alternative.

To the height in Alexandria, just as it said the song of Ivano Fossati, we have begun to" to feel the sea" and the tone and the euphoria of the team he is as sbrinato.

Later even three hours of trip we had reduced the cabin of our mean to a smoky and unbreathable tavern. In to follow him some kilometers, every attempt of turnazione it was enfeebled as it regarded the smoke and, just seen the sea, just before Genoa, we were contemporarily smoking all and five, understood the precise Mark.

«Here is Genoa!» you/he/she has told the sudden David as if we had arrived.

It had the an elegant opportunity to drive, very different from the abrupt style with which he/she piloted his/her own auto. With the correct bonnet and the correct shirt, you/he/she would be been able to resemble to a trip driver organized for elderly, one of those that bring the parties in trips conceived with the only purpose to sell pots and end saucepans crossed.

«You attach some the conditioned air» you/he/she has suggested Gianca from the table where you/he/she was comfortably hocked in a game to broom against a Chicken in evident difficulty.

It was right, it began to be warm indeed and despite we slightly held the open car windows I had put in canotta and shorts. I began to sweat.

I Mark then you/he/she has pushed the button of the plant of climatization and after little minutes you/he/she has been clear to all how much Chicken was a person completely inaffidabile and substantially an element to be eradicated from the planet.

The conditioned air that had quickly inserted Mark didn't produce that the opposite effect. The expensive blue camper that that idiot of Chicken had gotten through his/her absurdities channels, has quickly, become a furnace a merciless Finnish sauna.

«How cazzo we do to sleep in five in I am hole without conditioner? But do I say, as cazzo idea has come to trust you there? Porca puttana! Head of cazzo! Ignorant! Imbecile! Stupid that are not other, is it ever possible that every time combines a cazzata?» David is exploded and hot tempered as if you/he/she were in one of his/her yards.

«It starts to extinguish that accursed conditioner!» you/he/she has recommended Gianca and Mark you/he/she has quickly performed.

«What I knew me? At all could start making the tests on everything! I have checked the steering gear and it steered, the brakes braked, the stereo worked, there was the full one of water wipe away-glasses. All ok is seemed me! Do you give David, let's not do not a play of it, is it some warm, but that it will be never? To the limit then we stop there from the first mechanic that we find on the road and we see, how much does it cost us to put to place the plant, no?» Chicken is justified.

«With the cazzo that start me paying the maintenance costs of the camper of that bastard that has given him for you! Wipe away-glasses? Chicken you are indeed an idiot» I have immediately contested.

At the end, before we started discussing seriously there, Mark has intervened.

«Calm, is calm! Apart that you Chicken you are a beota and this we know him/it all, but doesn't it serve to pick up him her so much, do you not feel that if we hold extinguished the conditioner and we lower the car windows, the warm one is not so unbearable? Let's regulate there some with lowers him \- glasses, get by there! You give, we don't begin to attach us!»

In effects the open car windows guaranteed a good exchange of air.

David has immediately soothed, even if you/he/she has stared at Chicken with true pity. Looking at the road, I have seen to flow fast the exit of Varazze.

The line of asphalt alternated small breves curves rectilinear and the light of the cabin of our camper was frequently modified from the entry and from the exit of the mean by one of the numerous galleries unfolded for the run. As soon as we approached us to Alassio we felt the reached destination comfort grow and when we have finally come near the writing on the rock in style Hollywood, we are felt arrivals there.

Alassio I remembered her/it to me for the wealth displayed some people that frequented her/it. It seemed a town for rich as so many; the usual place where all costs more a pochino, all wear heads griffati and they almost all drive automobiles of a superior level. Alassio was not some one proper place for characters as Chicken or Gianca or David or me, but it was enough next to the our isolated paesino on the lake. So nearby that the first vacation in car everybody together we had passed them to her. Almost ten years before.

With the camper are stopped for appraising there where we could find an equipped area and the rather unpleasant gentleman to which we have asked the information you/he/she has recommended us to almost continue up to the end of the country. The sky had clouded and even if it was not able whether to be warm, the summer is seemed whether to disappear leaving the place to a sea light in autumn.

I have asked to the unpleasant gentleman that forecasts there were for the next days and if you/he/she had attended rain. He has responded:

«What I know, I am not at all Giuliacci! But is calm that Alassio is inside a knapsack of air of low pressure, here in summer never rains!»

Mark, only he, has thanked and we has continued along the road up to the area that the impolite dwarf had pointed out us. Few about ten meters before we stopped there I have seen the windscreen of the camper quickly fill him with big drops and I have immediately asked to David to make inversion that, to be fortunate, would have been able rincontrare the idiot of first to fill him/it with spits.

You/he/she has not satisfied me.

We had to shop that guaranteed us the self-sufficiency for at least a couple of days but we have almost spent three hours barricaded in the camper. The storm has been furious and water fell as to noisy bucketfuls on the roof of our small mobile house. The air was been cold and annoyingly damp.

This way attends him that the time improved at least partially you/he/she is become unbearable and David, that really it doesn't shine for patience, you/he/she has nervously put to the place it drives and you/he/she is exploded starting the mean with hardness.

«What cazzo, even to Fantozzi these sfighes happen! Before, it will be at all any storm to nail us in this cazzo of hole!»

Not that it was wrong; we had not had lunch yet and our provisions in dispensation consisted in the few tablets to the Swiss grasses of Mark and in the envelopes of rubbery candy that however that bastard of Gianca was not absolutely prepared to share. We have ripercorso the road to bashful looking for the first market where to be able something appears to put under the teeth; when we have found the first alimentary, David has stopped the mean. We have gone down that it still rained as God he/she sent her/it and the roads were submerged as in a flood. Mark, David and Gianca have extracted from the backpacks small trip parasols and, when even Chicken is inserted in a horrible black impermeable giacchetta, I have felt a true frustration in to consider as I was the only one not to have calculated the possibility that could rain. Rotten afresh to point, I/you/they have entered humiliated in the market.

It made a polar cold between the benches of the small exercise and me I looked at the products shivering, some for the prices, some for the cold.

We have tightly bought the necessary things: bread, water, pasta, juice of different qualities, sofficini, chips and 3 boxes of beer in bottle. David has insisted because we bought a bottle of vodka and some energies drink, obviously anybody if you/he/she is felt him to oppose himself/herself/themselves.

When we have paid I have believed to have entered a boutique rather than in a shop of alimentary and in effects the over-the-counter well dressed girl has smiled at a way that is seemed almost mocking. Chicken going out has murmured «you Give back, you Give back, sow!»

Fortunately the girl has not felt.

Out of the shop the rain had changed intensity: water went down light, as nebulized, illuminated by some small opening of sun. While we were going up again on the camper, I have asked to Chicken whether to give some prostitute to the cashier was one habit of his or a pleasant exception vacanziera. You/he/she has not answered, you/he/she is climbed on on the mean, you/he/she has opened the zip of the ugly black impermeable giacchetta and you/he/she has begun a paradoxical inventory.

«Then: envelopes of affected, have I taken her of brand so you don't complain you; coffee's package, as does it do him without coffee? Were Wurstels of pig and chicken, in offer; mayonnaise for the wurstels, otherwise as we season them? Melting chocolate for possible decreases of sugars!»

It extracted the things of the giacchetta as if nothing pits, as if you/he/she had not made alcunché.

«But have you stolen all that stuff?» you/he/she has asked enthusiastic David while Mark snickered incredulous.

«Yes! But have you seen that prices? The true thieves are them. Ah, rubbers to the mint, for when there is not the tooth brush!» you/he/she has beaten pleased Chicken extracting from the pocket of the pantalonis a double wrapping of rubbers to chew.

I was basito, some because I had had near Chicken the whole time and indeed I had not acknowledged anything, some because I considered the shoplifting a thing from little boys and I was absolutely convinced that for him pits an old phase.

«But you are everything fool! Do you know him/it that if they peck at you we end all in the country houses?» I have reproached Chicken as if somehow ditches his/her legal guardian.

«And they socially condemn us all to the exile or to the jobs profits! Here is arrival Father Paul Orlando of the order of the cantastories! Don't make the moralist, at least him sdebita for the catorcio that has rented!» you/he/she has replied Gianca opening a package of chips.

I/you/they have been mute. To want well to see, bothered me more than not to be me aware of nothing that the matter of the theft in itself.

«Lunch and sea?» you/he/she has asked David he/she anchors electrified for the a little legal gesture of Chicken.

«With I am time?» I have asked.

«Minchia, that killjoy, doesn't see that he is opening?» you/he/she has sentenced Gianca with the usual impoliteness..

It was true, the sun was returning.

David has started and we has returned toward the equipped area; in the brief journey, Mark has uncorked two beers and you/he/she has passed one of it.

We have eaten rapid a lunch cooked with speed. Swallowing the spaghetti to the juice improvised by Mark, chats of nothing or a little anymore. It was as if we had hurry to move again us, as if everybody we didn't wait whether to dip us in the atmosphere of the vacation. The sun had returned to beat as it was permissible to wait him; we are changed for the sea there and we have gone down toward the coast afoot.

We flowed the establishments bathing lined up meter after meter trying to understand what you/he/she could answer better to our characteristics more than to our demands. More I observed the landscape, more the conviction strengthened him that that was not an indistinct mass coast of people, on the contrary a privileged stay place with beaches public redoubts to thin languages of sand and with local, baths and chic bunks, almost pompous. After about ten minutes to coast along the sea, Chicken has done foresees «Oh, is not that owe us to turn the whole Liguria afoot! Let's stop us to the next beach, so much one it is worth the other. At least we drink there a beer that with I am warm I am dehydrating me!»

Mark, that didn't evidently appreciate too much the scenery, has supported the idea of the beer and shortly we has agreed all.

Is sat in the porch on the sea of a well furnished a lot of cafe there. By now it was late afternoon and when I have ordered 4 middle beers and a correct vodka energy, David you/he/she has not been contrary.

After a couple of hours in the cafe we have completely lost the knowledge of the space and the time. We had the sea to 50 meters, but it was as if it were but a detail. We were to Alassio, but we would have been able to be to Oslo or to the Wine cellar or to Singapore or to Parabiago, it didn't do difference. The beers and the vodka tracannate has slowly made us light and impalpable as the discourses to empty of the afternoon. All of a sudden memory to have tried to promote educational concepts, believes to be lifts me sbiascicando something on the interaction between alcohol and heat, but Mark is me as seized I set and, putting to sit me in decomposed way, you/he/she has exclaimed «For once you I want to also tell him/it me: but vaffanculo cantastorie of the cazzo!»

Dopodiché we have bursted to laugh without motive as two imbeciles you intoxicate.

We didn't have to be a very conciliatory show: Chicken, looking at the culo to every exemplary of passing female, it hung with a jug of beer in hand between the porch and the waterline. It had a troublesome drunkard air, but it was not him/it. David, sat on one I lay down to I swing together with an enough absent Gianca, you/he/she entertained him/it making unlikely comparisons among different types of boilers. Mark and I, still planted to the tavolino, we had just entered that phase of the drunkenness full of good intentions and compliments verse everybody. The classical phase" affection, friendship and values."

The manager of the cafe, exasperated, to that point you/he/she has delivered us the account.

In less than two hours, five idiots that problems were made for the cost of one I lay down, you/they have spent European centosessantotto of consummations. Perplexed, I have looked at Mark trying to find in his/her eyes the usual rationality. He is not leastly decomposed, you/he/she has gotten up with true work and faked safety and you/he/she has set out toward the cash register. It has I bring the slip the boy in box with to almost do snob and the credit card that never used crawled. Then verse is turned me.

«Then, considering that we are to the sea, do we make him/it a bath or no?»

Mark when he/she drank aristocrat it became and annoyingly impudently generous.

In an instant we have crossed racing as gone crazy children a lower case letter strip of sand seeds desert turned to public beach and there are fiondati in sea without any reservedness.

You/he/she has not been a dangerous thing: aware than we were tipsy, there are limited to still grope in the first meters of fresh water for the recent rain. Risollevato has felt and quickly when we are gone out of the sea it was as if you/he/she was passed me everything, as if salty water had washed me the alcohol of back. At that time, in the light that began to be a sunset, I have felt indeed in vacation.

Has chicken proposed «Other beer then we go to eat?» David has answered «Only if this turn pays him/it you.» It is in few minutes, with the dry mouth, we have returned to the camper to dine.

Mark has insisted for cooking again on the mobile house; I have consented, despite I/you was ideally attributed me the role of cook of the team since the departure. We have dined and drunk a lot, too much. After having eaten, under the shower for prepare me to the exit, I was again wound by the drunkenness of Bacchus. For the second time, the water of the shower has loosened and diluted the dizziness, this time however in partial measure only. We are dressed there and made up, each to his/her way and according to his/her own aesthetical criterions. I have opted for my strong point: white shirt to half sleeve and pant signed of beige cotton.

When we have been all ready ones, we have drunk vodka to abundant sips and we are gone out, direct toward the more disco in fashion of the zone.

To the entry of the place I tried to appraise if the being happened in an evening event was or I leads an advantageous situation. The line to enter was abundant and compact; it was anticipated the arrival of some evening guests and the DJ that you/he/she would have played that evening it was of first level, a character very known of a radio to national diffusion. For these motives we are found there bottled in a crowd of people, each of these with strong motivations and scarce ability of attended, each covetous to overcome as soon as possible the threshold of entry of the elegant disco to peak on the sea. Despite they had an air sopraffina and sophisticated, more or less all in the line pushed without too discretion. Some gruppettis of sensual ragazzine have surpassed us deprived of the least embarrassment and Mark and I we have held back to work the nervous reactions of Gianca, Chicken and David that would have stoned gladly her.

The access to the place was defended by a handpiece of spitfires muscular suits as unlikely blues brothers that quadrated and they discriminated every client. It was not a hard selection, probably because the place where we found us was selective by itself, but before our turn arrived I had already seen to get further different groups of boys with more disputable motivations and I feared that we was the next ones.

I have always found rather hateful the mechanism of selection operated by the improbable employees to the safety assumed from the discos, yet I am perfectly always me confirmed to the essential criterions for the entry, also without understanding from what unknown institution you/they were dictated.

In years of frequentazione we were passed with boldness by the adherent and synthetic shirts to the impeccable suits from businessmen. We had banished the tennis shoes, replacing her with faultless ceremony footwears in black skin, except then to abandon the seconds to dedicate to unlikely moccasins that only few years before we would have looked with disgust. In line, attending our casting of entry, I made conjectures on as the criterions of choice to enter disco they often determined more than the personality and the personal taste the way of dressing of our generation. The matter concerned sopratutto the shoes and I has begun even to hypothesize that, as in a plot, to head of the whole system there were dangerous lobby of the industry calzaturiera.

However that season suited us: the simple shoes of cloth that I wore from child were, who knows because, you return fit for the entry in the places. We have entered without too difficulty.

Crossed there hardly the threshold we are looked around inebriated by the style and by the worldliness of the scene. We have crossed a path of gravel that cut a small park piantumato with accuracy and well illuminated from torches to the citronella displaced anywhere; after the entry we have reached an elegant dancing cafe from which you/they departed, for lists directions, staircases in stone that you/they brought to the two great footsteps on the beach.

David has exclaimed happy «Puttana cow how much figa!»

He was not able certain to give him blame.

Observing the behaviors of the other present people, I sought the same awkwardness and inadequacy that I oddly felt me I set. I almost found her in the eyes of everybody, not in those of Mark. Unfortunately, after a brief summit on the to make himself/herself/themselves, has reached the conclusion that our ability of adaptation would proportionally be improved to our rate alcolemico and there is turned to the counter of the dancing cafe.

After mezz'ora and after two long Island, has lost completely any form of critical sense.

Chicken insisted in offer him me to smoke, as if it was able in an evening to compensate years of I scrounge, Gianca is slowly smeared inactive on the counter of the cafe and the eyes of Mark they have become thinner and shiny. I succeeded in seeing him the cheeks red fire despite the bright illumination of the room to the open one it substantially covered every sign of expression. David has begun to excited smaniare «From the, let's move us some! With these beautiful whole tope, are we packed here?» Mark and I have agreed with him and we are penetrated in the first footstep as warriors in a wisecrack of hunting there. Gianca and Chicken have decided to remain to the counter of the dancing cafe.

I have moved without weight with the cocktail in hand, following David and Mark with uncertain footsteps in the crowded passage individualized for reaching the heart of the footstep. I bounced on the people with light impacts, without having a true tottering drunkard lilt. Rather, I modulated with light delay the equilibrium on the ankles, giving of me a distracted walker impression and trasognante. We have begun to dance with an almost false conviction looking for with disproportionate appointment to exactly calibrate the movements to the rhythm of the music. I don't remember that kind of music was, you/he/she could be anything, what arrived to us was filtrate and essential rhesus, it was as if we listened to a naked tribal rhythm.

To David, that was more polish than we were not Mark and I, they have been enough few minutes to begin an undiversified attack to rain on every living being of present female sex in the place. I have seen him cooperate himself/herself/themselves to different gruppetti of sensual ragazzine that you/they danced well you assemble on them same. They were similar, or the same, that had surpassed us with boldness to the entry, but this seemed that didn't care to David anymore. I have assisted with Mark to the disheartening show of our friend: the position of determination and sure looks in the first approaches, of humiliation and of defeat in the return from every attempt. Slowly I have recovered then a minimum of perception and, to my way, I have begun the recognition. I have started looking around me without a precise objective. I tried to establish durable contacts of looks to individualize signs of agreement and demonstrations of interest. After different minutes, I have realized not to succeed in sustaining the part of the seducer that came well also frequently me. I was as I unload, passive, and I have ended up victimizing just me in the syndrome of the failure as you/he/she had taken to make David.

In effects the good Zinzi, seeing that also to hemming him it threw badly, meeting has come me saying: «we don't extract anything of it here. All snob troiettes, spoil and it look for money!»

With pathetic solidarity from common failure I have agreed with him.

Paradoxically to Mark you/he/she has gone to other way.

I have seen him attach indeed button with a nice morettina: saucy black caschetto, dark and shining skin, thin skeleton, light vestitino of color green water. I/you/they have remained to observe them for some in the first approach and it was unbelievable as in their looks and in their discourses I didn't find signs or attitudes from consumers of occasional sex. They spoke, they smiled and they discussed, absorbed in the music of the disco but independent from the noise of the diffusers. You/they would also have been able to be elsewhere in a station or in a museum or in a restaurant. They were in a well evident tuning and I have not wanted to interrupt the amiability of the conversation among the two. You/he/she has thought of us David, with the tooth repeatedly poisoned still by the indifference receipt. You/he/she has approached to the girl from true stupid, head you/he/she has quadrated her afoot and you/he/she has summoned her:

«Oh beautiful, not to contaminate us the bridegroom!»

The girl has not answered, but you/he/she has looked at Mark trying to understand that relationship there was between that unpleasant and he intrusive. At that time I have noticed that the beautiful morettina, that called Sarah, had two notable friends. I have drawn near making unequivocal signs to David because it understood that the only good opportunity of the evening was burning. He has gathered and you/he/she has immediately seen his/her own position again.

We have almost all passed the evening with Sarah, Patrician and Roberta, drinking Long Island as they were water, in a calm zone of the beach, sat together everybody in one of the few non busy tables of the place. Unfortunately and almost with immediateness the role, my part and of David, you/he/she is made marginal in the discourses of the evening. The three was girls of Florence, university students, and they were so spellbound from the person of Mark, from the fact that you/he/she would be gotten married and that a child would have had that didn't do whether to grant him the exclusive one of their complete attention. They filled even it of questions and of interest with excessive insistence, loading Mark of that charm and that charme that under basal conditions you/he/she had never had. I wondered me for what absurd motive to have a definitive relationship and upcoming issue aroused so much interest and attraction from the women. With David, I have traced motivations of genetic die vaguely recalling myself a vision Darwinista. Our concepts were perfectly sintetizzabili in the sentence of closing of David, that has observed «there is a cazzo to do! For the women you are very more scopabile if you already have wife and children!»

In progress of evening, facilitated by the boldness acquired by the alcohol, we have talked to the three girls of everything how much it passed us for the head. Besides explaining the motivations of the trip that we were doing, converses on generic themes as I work, sex, style of life of our generation in general. Every matter however it inexorably brought back to the experience of Mark and him it exhausted only after the same had defined his/her own point of view regarding the matter. It was as a center of permanent gravity. It was as if every thing dictates, but also not said, it was passable for truth. Feeling us vaguely excluded, David and I made the spool between the table and the other small cafe on the beach to supply the tavolata of new alcoholic boldness. You/he/she has been during one of that moves that you/he/she is seemed me to see Chicken to walk careless in the middle of the anchor numerous clientele of the place. In a first moment I have not given a lot of weight to the thing. We were together with three beautiful girls, Chicken could wait. Yet, after a good oretta, I have warned uneasiness not to be takes care of me of the two absentees and I have asked to Mark if it were the case to look for the missing. David has stopped me that, load of new and few realistic hope, has said:

«What balls! Do they get by no? Paul cannot always look at what combine that two fools! Let's be here with them, if they have need they find us cazzo!»

I have again asked to Mark if it were the case to look for the two but David, not to lose that remote possibility, has surrendered also:

«Is all right! You and I let's go to look for them! Mark is here with the women and waits us, we return down so then from the girls!»

We are dismissed by the group there.

They were the 3.30 trails when we have returned to the counter of the first cafe. Gianca was there still.

The barkeeper, less busy considering that big part of the crowd started to diminish, you/he/she has asked:

«But is this yours? Is it with you?» You/he/she has asked him so, as if we had forgotten an umbrella or a hat. You/he/she had not stirred at all Gianca from the counter of the cafe, but it was not battered, you/he/she had simply remained to observe the people in the place, drinking for the whole evening, alone.

Have I asked him «But where Chicken is it?»

Him almost indifferent you/he/she has answered «Boh. I have seen him before, it was full as a Boer and he/she knows me that it was badly, but I don't know where you/he/she is ended.»

«And have not you done anything? When you have seen him?»

«First.»

«Ok, but first as soon as possible?»

«Boh. Before.»

Gianca was not battered, but it was surely drunk.

Worried, we have looked for Chicken for the whole tall part of the place.

Gianca was as absentee and David you/he/she was bothering fearing to lose the occasions that it however didn't have.

Chicken has found him really David.

On the beach, from the opposite part where we chatted with the girls, you/he/she has recognized an outline despite pits so by to be unrecognizable. Emanuele was stretched out supine in the sand, completely immovable, the expression of the nonexistent face. I have thought how same badly seriously, that had had a heart attack or things of the kind: you/he/she was sleeping only fortunately. When we have wakened up him to suon of schiaffoni, you/he/she has slowly stirred, with indolence, as if we were bothering him/it. It monstrously stinked of alcohol and of vomit, and it had abundant rivulets of regurgitation on the whole shirt. It was disgusting touch him/it, even to be him near so malmesso, but we have him/it the same hoisted as a totem decided to bring us him street. I have told him «you are disgusting!» and he has asked me, handing me a rolled up packet and empty, if I wanted a cigarette. Imbecile.

I/you/they have returned toward Mark to communicate him that it was worthwhile to go, but there was not more anybody sat to the table where we had passed the evening. I have moved the look trying to understand where you/he/she could be. With the beach by now desert, I have almost immediately found him. The girls if gone n'erano, all except Sarah. I have observed Mark and Sarah alone in a zone a little illuminated of the beach, one of forehead the other. Mark has immediately individualized me while I was calling him/it but you/he/she is not shaken amazed or embarrassed, you/he/she has simply greeted the girl that had before intensely kissing her/it. You/he/she has kissed her in front of me, but with brevity as a kiss of forced lovers to a rapid separation; then just removed by the attractive dark testolina of Sarah, meeting has come me.

Returning back for the recovery of Chicken, I have asked him:

«But do you return yourself account that soon I/you/he/she get married you and that I/you/he/she become father? What cazzo do you combine? Are you drunk your head tonight also?»

With thin grudge, I cruelly hoped to instigate in my friend a least sense of guilt. He has smiled with absolute serenity and has answered «Some that know him/it! And I assure you that I am to go crazy happy of it!»

I/you/they have been incredulous for an instant, then I have felt a true envious coglione.

We have proceeded to the transfer of Chicken with the same formalities of an intervention of alpine help. It seemed a film wounded, war of Vietnam or stuff of the kind. Substantially it was incapable to maintain the erect station and in practice we have dragged him up to the exit of the place and over, as it was a couch to move. David, convinced to have burnt a good possibility, you/he/she has heavily insulted him for the whole run but you/he/she has never missed to sustain him/it with the strength of the own braccias for the whole absurdity I move.

«Makes a will of cazzo! They were there! They were there! There with us, for us! Had almost concluded and for guilt of the alcoholic imbecile that are, everything is jumped! Cursed Coglione! But who has done me him to do to know an idiot of the kind!»

Chicken, unarmed, you/he/she has not answered.

We have reached the door of the place while little remained people were defile smiling and satisfied for the evening. The presents, inclusive two spitfires of the end safety service, has quadrated however us had a good time, laughing without reserve of ours embarrassing assisted.

«Cazzos are laughed these stupid?» Chicken has stuttered before the silent one to suon of slaps.

They didn't separate us that few hundred meters between the disco and the equipped area where we had left the camper but the work of a day so devastante has made the hard run massacrante.

Luckily, to hundred meters from the arrival, Chicken has sent forth a worrisome gurgle with an indeterminable part of the digestive apparatus, in consequence to which we have made him sit on a muretto before disagreeable surprises.

You/he/she has vomited quite a lot, to powerful throws. A reddish first stuff, then orange, then almost yellow. You/he/she has absolutely been a nauseating show to admire, but really when we considered if it were the case to accompany or I lead that demon rigettante in first aid, the possessed one has suddenly returned to reason. Standing on his/her own legs you/he/she has laboriously pronounced:

«Ok raga, everything to place, is better!»

Has Mark asked «Sure?»

«Yes!» has confirmed enough solid Chicken, then recorded the depressed expression of David, has added «David not to think too much it! So much those didn't give her/it for you however! You/they would not have given her to anybody!»

Mark and I for an instant are looked at accomplices of ours small secret there; David has smiled instead with spocchia, aware than that fool of Chicken after all you/he/she was right.

When we have reached the camper I/you/they have been happy to have provveduto to extract the bed and to prepare him/it for the night before going out. I like when I succeed in being farsighted, I adore the Paul of the past that thinks about the Paul of the future. Not that pits a mechanism difficult to decontrol, but to the five less a quarter of the morning, so tanned, David and the silent Gianca have done a disproportionate work to start sleeping. Instead I have almost immediately fallen asleep, perhaps because the odor of the vomit of Chicken fluttered latent and boring in the cabin.

Before the sleep, I have appraised how much the morettina kissed by Mark was enchanting.

I wake up for the warm one. The camper at 13.30 o'clock, under the fierce sun, you/he/she was turned into a suffocating furnace. I was sweaty and sticky and I felt the swollen and rubbery face pulsate, the hands they seemed me you dilate, heavy. I perceived the rhythm of the heart to boom deaf in the calves and in the points of the fingers; in general I was me, wound in a halo of work. The odor of which the space was impregnate was of a cruelty difficult to tell. A bouquet of the worse foul smells that a man can think: carbonic anhydride, vomit, odor of feet, gas intestinal and other ignoble fragrances, tablets in the few meters cubes of air to our disposition. I have looked toward Mark and he/she slept anchor, rolled up as a larva in the usual cover azzurrina that brought him in every trip. I have wondered as it did to sleep in that way and with that warm, he has sent forth a noisy peto. I have gotten up and I/you/they are gone out of the camper.

Out I have found David: it was to the telephone.

You/he/she had been the first one to wake up him and it didn't not at all seem tired. It was busy in an atypical conversation for him, the serious and available voice, the assembled expression.

I have drawn near and he has made a sign of regard, then you/he/she has concluded with the telephone interlocutor.

«It is all right, I thank her/it. Do we remain of accord then this way? Excellent, hi and good-bye!» And you/he/she has quickly put back the cellular phone in pocket.

I have tried to ask him with whom same speaking, but he has remained on answering «Nothing, things of job...»

In the afternoon, after a binding obligatory alternation as to the latrine, we have returned to the cafe on the beach from which the alcoholic odyssey of the day was initiated before. We have eaten a sandwich and drunk water and cold tea to the lemon. Chicken, miraculously taken back him, you/he/she has wanted to drink beer to make the usual call. You/he/she has drunk one of them, an alone, has communicated then to all with solemnity

«Enough. This was the last beer of my life! I won't drink anymore!»

And since then, to how much it results me, Chicken has not touched more alcoholic in his/her life.

After a day to the sea calm, riposini to the sun, frequent baths and partitelle to racchettoni, has returned to the camper.

To have filled the reservoir of the water and that with the gas-oil, have dined further.

Once washed, leaves again.

They were the 21.30 when we have moved for the second there it covers some trip to the bachelorhood: it waited us for Calabria.

### 2. Tropea (in theory)

We are not felt there really in trip until we have not finished of it crosses the whole Liguria to bashful.

To the height in Genoa, David has said excited «Riecco Genova!», of fact without succeeding in arousing some particular reaction of enthusiasm or transport in none of us.

Of the group, David was what seemed to have held up better the evening devastante that we had spent. You/he/she had appeared me of good humor since the morning and you/he/she had sustained for the whole day an easy-going and kind, available and polite attitude, a dress that didn't belong him and that in every case he/she rarely wore indeed.

Passed Genoa and the lights of the city, the black sky of the imminent night is melted with the sea. I have lost every visual contact with the coast, I knew that the sea there was and was there, but I didn't see him/it.

Chicken has asked me, rather you/he/she has imposed me to deliver him a cigarette.

«With the cazzo! I had told you that at least for the trip you would be you due to maintain alone!» I have answered bored.

«I have understood, but if I have offered her all thing last night can I do there? You give not to make the ragamuffin!»

«Me ragamuffin? With that courage! Those as you are all right! The parasites as you, that you/they live on the shoulders of the fools as me, are all right. But do I say me, do you have a job and a salary, do you want to smoke? Bought the cigarettes and smokes! You are not able? You don't smoke and don't break the cazzo to anybody!»

Although I/you had spoken to him in the usual raw but playful tones and I/you had thrown him I already set a packet seeds empty saying to end him to him her that however they were the last that I would have offered him, Chicken is as embittered and you/he/she has been silent a second before declaring «we Allow to lose the discourses on the money and on the job, that I don't want there not to even think of graze of this vacation.»

David, obviously gathered the melancholy vein in the words of Chicken, you/he/she has started to pursue him/it.

«Now you explain me: thing you have with the job? Don't tell me that dare complain you! Jobs 3 hours a month, to the warm one, paid illness, sees also a beautiful po' of figa... do tell me, that it misses you?»

Chicken in an unusual way is stiffened for him and you/he/she has beaten:

«Apart that I make 24 hours to week and not 3 hours a month, but then test you to live with 700 European a month. It is true that even you quarrel the whole day on the yard, you are to the cold and you dirty your hands, but at the end of the month you have the satisfaction to be able to allow you to spend two liras or, if you don't spend her to put her street for a future. Me no! I distantly am not able even to think about buying me a house but a car, cannot put even by anything. Me in this moment job only to survive, and the thing that more me ago incazzare is that I am not able it stuffed really nothing, can conform only. To throw to live hoping that something happens!»

«Looked for another lavoretto to add to this» you/he/she has suggested then Mark.

«You think that I have not already tried there? Would not I complain me otherwise, don't you believe? Unfortunately however to the supermarket job on strange turns, with the assembled hours sopratutto in the weekend. I have tried to be a dishwasher from" Gigi", but I don't resolve very for the times when I succeed in going us. Five European an hour then you will understand, that I do us.»

«I would never eat in a dish washed by you» you/he/she has sustained Gianca to divert, but Chicken has continued. «I have asked to those of the supermarket to give me more times, you don't know how many times. Hog cazzos, are 3 years that are there, job well and the people trust me, the job then for absurd I like and... do you ask him full once and a normal salary, not a gift or a charity and them? They don't do whether to answer that there is the crisis and that if don't be all right my times of contract I can look for me another place, so much another desperate that the fish sells to my place they find him/it.»

«Beh, the crisis there is, is that a datum of fact and her/it it feels him in every sector, also in mine, that creeds?» you/he/she has specified David.

«Another desperate that sells the fish they find him/it of sure! And they certainly find him/it more awake than you! » you/he/she has foretold Gianca in the nth attempt to reorganize the discussion.

In every case, after different points of view on the matter, to Chicken a key question has gone off, and immediately to reach the heart of the matter turns to the only expert on the field that was among us. «Mark but you that you are economical.»

«Economical?»

«You that you have the degree in economy, in short, but is crisis, that cazzo is? Does tell clear terms, from thing it arrives crisis it is and because? And as it comes out, if it comes out according to you...»

«The crisis means that what earns is never enough! And to earn more, has to kill you of job up to physically exhaust you or to come to die of stress. Even as soon as you retire, so you do a favor to the state!» you/he/she has immediately declared polemic David.

«Thanks to the cazzo David, beautiful technical analysis!» I have specified ironic before turning me toward Mark to know how he/she thought her/it. To be honest in fact, the history of the crisis I had not even understood leastly her me. I hoped that Mark, that I considered to the peer of a super minister of the finances, it illuminated us as you/he/she had not known how to now do anybody up to.

I Mark at first you/he/she has been silent, then you/he/she has wrinkled the forehead and you/he/she has started serious «Therefore... the economic crisis that rages in this moment arrives from the United States and you/he/she has spread all over the world last year. Practically the principal causes of this crisis are: the tall prices of the first subjects, the world food crisis, a tall inflation, the recession, a credit crisis and a crisis of trust in the purse.»

«Thanks Mark! Then?» you/he/she has asked again completely dissatisfied Chicken.

«Mark, returns yourself account that you have not said a cazzo? Have said that this cazzo of crisis that breaks the coglionis derives from some crises and produces other crises! He/she doesn't want to say a blessed minchia of nothing!» you/he/she has loaded David.

It was strange, because I exactly felt me from the part of Chicken and David. I expected me that Mark explained us in clear and definitive way the motive for which the world, and we, was also so worried, so immovable and timorous. Instead you/he/she had not done anything else other than to repeat ambiguous and unsatisfactory terms, of which I besides was addicted from the newscasts and from the articles on the magazines.

Mark has tried to take back «Boys, are not that am easy to be explained so on two feet! I don't know, you put that USA, the greatest and important economy of the planet, has entered a serious credit crisis and ipotecaria it gives birth of a you hallucinate real estate speculation. The dollar has started not to be worth anything, places of employment are jumped, the purse has gone to peak, they are bankrupt even the banks and the American population has entered the panic! In the global market, the panic of a nation as the United States is the global panic. Then The consequence of the global panic is the collapse of the investments, and, without investments, landslide the whole world working system, included ours!»

It was not enough.

What had just said Mark didn't satisfy anybody. Some because some concepts were too reduced, excessively simplified, because we saw the connections of casualness and the practical implications on the life of the reasonable man; some because the events of which he/she spoke Mark were so distant and indefinite that even for him you/they could really result convincing.

Of fact Mark must have realize the brittleness of the thesis that had exposed with so much diligence, has changed expression, and doing himself/herself/itself very sure and planned has frankly corrected «But what I know! It is right David, for guilt of that bastards that you/they have stolen and rubbed the people on the other side of the world and who knows when, what we earn us, here and now, a cazzo is not worth anymore. Who possesses then an activity as mine has to make the deadly jumps not to leave to house anybody and to have a minimum of whether to live! Do you realize what you mean in times as these possession the responsibility of other families over that of the proper one?»

Gianca, that didn't have until there uttered word, you/he/she has peacefully observed:

«Are right everybody! This thing that our possibility to work depends on the behavior of certain scoundrels on the other side of the globe it is absurd, but to be brave this is also the good moment to throw him in a good investment. True Mark?»

Mark, as incredulous as us on the fact that Gianca interested him of something that was not the world of the Hobbits or the superpoteris of the characters of the mangas, you/he/she has nodded.

Chicken, evidently very enthusiastic for the confirmation of Mark, has exclaimed then «Sì, yes, let's have to convince us to look at the crisis with another eye! This is indeed the good moment to throw him!»

«Yes, from the, thrown! From a camper in run however!» you/he/she has summoned David, allowing so to return with gradualness to the atmosphere of the vacation.

To the height of Viareggio Davide you/he/she has taken for Florence.

The blue box, with the whole insane content, you/he/she has slowly started to estrange from the sea.

I didn't love that line of highway, too many latch, too uncomfortable curves, too many lines of reduced visibility.

Overcome Florence, the air that filtered from the only car window left open is been cold, sharp. On past midnight articulated the beginning of another day and I have asked to Gianca to close the car window that had held open. He has done him, then you/he/she is moved in the back of the mean and you/he/she has gone to lie down himself/herself/themselves next to Chicken that he/she listened lulled the music that escaped from the cuffiettes of his/her own reader mp3.

I Mark to the one he/she already slept.

I have taken a seat beside David that drove silent by now from a good mezz'ora and I have proposed him:

«I make you company me.»

He has responded:

«You also sleep if you want.»

Thinking that to that time and in that silence to stay awake nearby of the driver pits an essential safety measure, has insisted.

«When we will arrive?»

«Mah, doesn't know of precise, thin to now we have not found a lot of traffic, if it suits us and the walk remains this, about ten times and we are to the country of Chicken.»

«Excellent! Well? How is you/he/she going according to you?» I have taken back.

«In that sense?» you/he/she has asked perplexed David.

«Boh, the trip, Mark and quegl'altri two fools, as do you see her/it?»

«Well. How do I have to see her/it?»

«I don't know, tell me as you see her/it!»

«Excuse but in that sense?»

«Nothing from the, was alone to speak some.»

«Paul, indeed, if you want to sleep, you also sleep.» you/he/she has repeated David removing of fact the space for every possible it replies.

I have passed mezz'ora with David without we told us a word, then turning I have realized me that all slept and I have started over making conversation.

«You know that you are strange also you in this period?»

«Also? Strange?»

«Yes, I say, besides Mark that gets married him, also you seem that you are maturing.»

«Maturing? Are Cazzos, a plum? What balls with these metaphors, but are you everything crazy really then? But what is you/he/she taken you? What questions am I/you/they? To mature... what a cantastorie of the cazzo!»

«From the fool, end her/it! I say seriously, you know that the known certain things. You are strange, stings.»

«Boh, if you tell him/it you!»

«I feel that there is something! What do you have for the hands? Do you make the jump? Do you finally put yourself for your account?»

«But cannot Paul, go to sleep? What cazzo do you have tonight? If you have intention to throw me stupid thin in Calabria say him/it, so I abandon you first in Highway!»

«Who was this morning to the telephone?»

David has not immediately answered, but I have immediately noticed that the question had touched him/it.

It was clear that I/you had found the key of time and, even if Zinzi looked fixed in front of itself faking to focus only himself/herself/themselves on the guide, it seemed as undecided, in unstable balance among to unbutton him and the to hide every other sign.

«But nothing, will explain then you. I have taken a decision, but it doesn't suit me to now speak of it, it is not the correct moment.»

«Beh, but if it is a taken decision so much is it worth to communicate her/it, no? However you know that if you talk to me he/she remains among us two!»

I had for a long time the yearning to be the first one to want to know the things. For one as me, to know with advance thing was combining David, it meant to have a some kind of tactical advantage in the life.

I was simply very slow perhaps to accept the changes and to assimilate them to the rhythm of the other ones I had to depart in advance.

In every case David has not satisfied me and you/he/she has continued trying to reduce every expectation.

«Nothing of what, not to make you other paranoias, would say now that for tonight you have already given enough. You/he/she has happened me an opportunity. It is a thing that I have been desiring for a lot of time and now it simply seems that there are the bases to be able to realize her/it. However I prefer to tell everything of you when I am sure to the one hundred percent and we are all calmest.»

«But do you speak of job, true?»

«From the Paul, not to do the insistent one!» you/he/she has beaten David beginning to be annoyed himself/herself/themselves.

«Ok.» I have replied, then I have added «you really finally put Yourself in!»

«Cries her/it!» you/he/she has repeated David.

«I am right, eh?»

«Cries her/it!» you/he/she has confirmed more definite.

«Ok.» I have answered yielding and by now sure to have a news in exclusive.

Were they me to close the eyes, or were they already closed perhaps, when David to the height of Closed you/he/she has brusquely braked exclaiming «Porca puttana, but that cazzo has happened?»

The shake of the braked one has lifted me from the momentary seat, I have looked over the windscreen and I have seen some torches of signaling lined up on the dark road. Gianca, wakened up him to the sudden one, you/he/she has reached us from the back of the camper and you/he/she has started looking together with us. Its sight has arrived over the haze of the smoke of the torches before and better of mine and of that of David and when you/he/she has screamed «And the Madonna, that disaster!» Chicken and Mark have gone off standing as soft too brims and I have realized what we had before.

I had never seen an accident of the kind in my life.

Had to have happened from little, because a real tail was not formed, still only a small deceleration built by the incredulous and frightened curiosity of the few cars that preceded us.

There were neither firemen nor ambulances, only a car of the firm road police to the borders what happened. The flashed turned on, together with the torches of signaling, they illuminated in discontinuous way the carcass fumante of a blue car, I believe of average capacity and the contours bruised of a clear van, probably white.

Difficulty to understand as you/they had done to encounter himself/herself/themselves, it is sure what the auto was completely rolled up and inside what he/she remained him of it you/he/she could realize only the presence of something. None of us could establish with absolute certainty that those were bodies, yet we have begun to speak of it as if of fact they were him/it, as if indeed we were witnesses of a slaughter.

Chicken has howled «Puttana sow! But are those dead?», receiving an only comment from Mark that you/he/she has exclaimed laconic «Oh cazzo!»

The autos were ended out some roadway, but in spite of the presence of the broken glasses, of the pieces of blackened body shop and the rests of guardrail eradicated by the bump that the passage of march they invaded, the police officers, the only trace animated of the scene, has made us easily enough slip out of the nightmare.

Nobody has said nothing.

For the time when we have crossed the line of the impact and for some minutes following nobody has uttered word. I/you/they have been petrified from the image and from the sharp contrast between the scene of that disaster and the happy-go-lucky nature of our trip. To see a destroyed car containing a heap of inactive bodies has transmitted me a strange feeling. I was frozen, but at the same time incuriosito, almost infected.

I would be liked to go down for examining with precision what happened, I was taken by an increasing desire to view the life that was not life anymore the show of the death. To the meantime however I felt me guilty for the fact to try as much grisly attraction.

While I was being fought in to try to understand if the seduction that the scene operated in my respects were natural or pathological, David has asked:

«But has as cazzo done to make a country house of the kind?»

To say the truth was not really a question, was the prologue for the following reasoning. In fact David immediately answers, formulating and divulging with his/her impeccable practicality a reconstruction of that that would have been able to be the dynamics of the event. Among so many, you/he/she has alleged varied causes, probable and less.

«You/they were surpassing, you/they have touched the guardrail and they are squirted I set to the van. Rather no, those of the auto are gone out street, the car is capsized and you/he/she is set on fire, the van has arrived, you/he/she has skidded and you/he/she has invested them without not even braking. Perhaps the cause is the classical hit of sleep, but after the autopsy you will see, it will jump out that they were you intoxicate or completely facts!»

«And to think that you/they were perhaps going to vacation as us» you/he/she has added, concluding the improbable skill.

«Surely they were unbalanced!» you/he/she has sentenced Gianca.

«According to me it is guilt of the van!» you/he/she has decreed Chicken.

In an instant, and without we could realize us of it, we were overdue in the game of the hypotheses and the guilts. All except Mark, that has not waited a lot for it stuffed to notice how much we were wandering.

«But of thing is speaking? We have not practically seen anything and you have immediately departed to be investigators. The van, the car, is that capsized, is that set on fire, but that you know? Missed only that went down to make the reliefs as the road police! For thing then? To say that who drove it was drunk or drug addict? To give guilts and to spit judgments. How do you do to know that are dead then? On which base?»

«Mark there is not need that you incazzi. There are not doubtful however that they are dead. You have also seen them you the bodies!» conciliatory Gianca has hissed.

«I don't know what have seen! Have assisted to the fact of escaped, yet you are perfectly certain to know what have seen, even know who were and thing were doing! This is a thing typical of Italians, a thing that makes me go the blood to the head! To reach the conclusions without having any element on which to found her, to feel himself/herself/themselves in right to say the proper one on the base of nothing, sustaining her own suppositions with conceitedness and minx safety as tuttologi of the cabbage. In certain cases we are not but a people of gossipers!»

Mark was bored, thing that didn't often happen. If the cabin of the box drives you/he/she had not been so dark, I am sure that you/they would be been able to gather well the red cheeks of when it became angry. Despite you/he/she had talked then to the plural, it was as evident as few it recognized him in the kind of middle Italian that you/he/she was criticizing. Frankly I didn't understand the excess of the reaction of Mark to our interpretations, but not to subsequently bother him/it anybody has gone further to the discourse. Unanimously we have recognized that in front of what happened a more sober point of view, less unbalanced and better serious pits of rigor.

Only Chicken after an instant has taken back the conversation, but with different tones, more human.

«Some that... you put that indeed they were boys as us, even you/they were going on vacation and...»

«And they have bursted!» David has unhappily interrupted him/it.

Mark has been mute, aware that to take back David would not have brought any positive effect, but Chicken has continued «there is not a cazzo to laugh! Did I say, if for hypothesis they were indeed boys as us, do you return yourself account? They perhaps had our same emotions, our hopes, had also even our age! The case doesn't seem me to joke on the thing!»

«In fact am not joking! Those have bursted indeed, at all for joke! Can thing do there then me? If I have to think that they were as us or that would have been able to be us, I tell you fanculo! Better them!» you/he/she has confirmed David, stupid as solo he knew how to be when it put us.

From my song I didn't have anybody desire to face a discussion of the kind.

I was also obviously me shocked by the scene just seen, but I counted we didn't give too importance to what happened. I strongly hoped for matter of debate it didn't become as often happened, because it didn't suit me really to speak of plays or of death or of pain. I didn't like at all to touch certain themes in any occasion, let's show up us in vacation.

It was, in my opinion, an event to be recorded and to continue, to photograph and to forget.

Times it is true that different I had found absorbed in thoughts fatalist on the destiny and on the course of the things, but they were only thoughts, of which besides it didn't go fierce, and for which continually came sbeffeggiato from who was nearby me enough to be able to know me. Then mine were reflections of which I looked for anchor to undo me with strength, something to hold far obstinately because it didn't pollute the life of every day. Those were my taboos and I could not think about owing to face them really while I was traveling in vacation with my friends.

Until then then I didn't even have ever seen a dead man.

That discussion, so stupid and light to want to see, you/he/she is insinuated me in the head as a slippery and elusive snake in his/her own den and you/he/she has irremediably recalled that moment of life in which I had believed to be crazy and of which was ashamed deeply.

One period lived with the anxiety to die and with the fixed thought of the end of the things as I knew her.

Constant paranoias on the unpredictabilty of the end, panic for the incontrollabilità of the events.

One of the hardest phases of the growth, the fear to die and to suffer that it degenerates and it coincides with the fear to live.

As ditches enough sure to have overcome certain complexes, I have equally tried to close the matter. I feared to owe to compare me on the theme and of mine I have simply declared that if they were dead or less we didn't know him/it and however we would have had to forget us in hurry of that thing. After all we were on vacation to have a good time not us to depress us.

Gianca has sniffed something and you/he/she has pricked me.

«Here is the more paranoiac of everybody! Useless that look for to season her/it by fast, we know him/it everybody that you don't sleep there tonight for this thing!»

Too busy to try to hide and to reject the negative state from which I slowly felt me attacked, has not responded.

David however you/he/she is gone out out with an absurd consideration and I have realized that I would not be been able to escape from the discussion on the kind that so much feared.

«Oh, I hope for the later possible, but if it had to happen I want to be brought standing!»

«How standing? What does he/she want to say?» you/he/she has asked Gianca.

«Standing! I want to be transported and buried with the coffin in vertical! I don't make me put away stretched out! I don't make me fold up from anybody, never!» convinced David has answered.

«You know that I don't know if he is able?» you/he/she has debated Chicken as if we were speaking of building concessions or of permissions of job.

«What cazzata! You are really an excited of the cazzo!» you/he/she has affirmed Gianca laughing, but David has confirmed with seriousness:

«Tell me that if I will be the first one to miss you will bring me standing!»

Mark, thing that really I didn't expect me, you/he/she has calmed down him/it and you/he/she has promised.

«Ok, ok, is a stronzata, but if happens that the first one to leave six you, will do as want! The first standing coffin of the history will be yours!»

I considered absurd that us, launched in the night toward the beautiful beaches calabre, we were speaking of funerals and of death and of methods of burial. I understood the funny nature and some dissacrante of the discussion, yet I didn't succeed in seeing her/it as a good formality to exorcize how much seen. It bothered me and it gave me anxiety.

I have polemized again looking for of stoppare every other surreal comment.

«But of what cazzo are we speaking? No, but do you return you account? Should speak of figa or of I kick or of sporting auto, and this comes out everything definite to tell us as wants to make to be buried! But then, standing I say me! But what cazzata is it? Don't tell me that you think indeed of her the minchiates that is saying?»

«Looks that sooner or later die all, also you! It doesn't need to be afraid to face the matter. Have I said only that when I die I want to be buried standing, I will have the right to say as I want to be buried no?» David has snickered.

«What cazzo it enters it? Do I know him/it well how much you that sooner or later he dies, but that it enters it to speak of it now? Then so, ridicolmente, to that it serves?»

«I want to make to cremate me, it is more hygienic!» you/he/she has proclaimed the beota of Chicken, ignoring completely the appeal to the reflection.

«You stink from alive and do you start yourself doing the precise one from dead?» you/he/she has inevitably commented Gianca.

Thinking well of us, more than every other thing it bothered me terribly the fact to be the only one to have some hesitations respect to the discourse. I didn't understand because I gave so much weight to affirmations that wanted to be to read only and evasive, nothing serious. I perceived me as a child fifone inside a group of greater and brave companions: all talked to filminess and frivolity, I wanted to escape. I have tried to insert again me and to say mine. I have provoked Gianca.

«And you Gianca? How do we have to bury you?»

Gianca, that was the more old man among us, has responded candid not to worry us for its burial, so much you/he/she would have buried all first him.

I Mark in the discourse of low league volutamente you/he/she had remained apart, even if he/she listened with hilarity, yelding to the charm of the surreal one.

Chicken however has you/he/she asked him «And you Mark? How would you like that was your funeral?»

I was sure that Mark would not even have answered, that would have sorvolato, instead has affirmed doubtful «Boh! Do you know that I don't know him/it? I have not now thought never there up to. If really I have to unbalance me, I can say you that the only thing that I would desire it is that to the ceremony nobody cried. I would like a serene celebration, with the alone presence of the important people for me, but calm, peaceful in to remember what I/you/they have been. A thing without patemi or wailings, would like a kind of party of good-bye more than a goodbye. Toh, if really I had to put us a strangeness there I would put the music!»

I have interrupted him hallucinated.

«Mark, also you, but that cazzo you are saying? What the present people to your funeral you want her/it beautiful calm and phlegmatic? With the music then? What do we pass? El Menahito? The Macarena? Do we also make the dances of group this way? Please, cazzo, please!»

«I have not said but the people it has to come and to laugh, has responded only to the question of Chicken. However I don't understand because you stiffen yourself so much, he was joking.»

«Beautiful way of the cazzo to joke!» I have replied.

«Vabbè, is not that cannot be spoken of the death! To talk to lightness of it is only the way to exorcize that inevitable moment. On the other hand" Who wants to live forever?" it said Freddie, and according to me it was right!»

«Freddie who? Freddy Krueger?» you/he/she has asked serious Chicken.

«Freddie Mercury! Who wants to live forever? Tell me if it is wrong!»

Mark had two manias.

The Swiss candy to the grasses and the music of the Queen of Freddie Mercury. I don't know of precise when you/he/she had begun to listen to them, probable that someone more adult had handed down him them, you/he/she is sure what Mark possessed every album, every single, every trace of the discografia of Freddie Mercury. I understood all the posthumous titles. It was his/her musical Gospel, and also me that I listened to them with pleasure I didn't succeed to he/she understands the absolute devotion of my friend toward that group.

«Cazzo, is a Karaoke or a funeral? Also the Queen you want? It seems me really that you are straparlando now!» I have contested sour.

«Have not said that I want the Queen to my funeral! Have I asked only, quoting Freddie," who wants to live forever?" You, would Paul, like to live forever?»

I have not answered.

I am falsely me closed in a silence of snob disapproval and I have attended that with to pass some kilometers the unreasonable debate it expired.

To the height in Rome, David drove awake and serene, Mark dozed comfortable in the back of the mean, Gianca shared with Chicken the tiredness and the earphones of the usual reader mp3.

Trying to eradicate from the head annoying thoughts as prickly bees on the accident, on the death, on the to be realized how much fear I had some future, I have fallen asleep.

I have made a dream, but I won't tell him/it.

I wake up, rather, Gianca has wakened up me with the classical his/her tenderness.

«Oh, mister paranoia! Do you want to shoot the marathon of the sleep or us to you worthy of your irreplaceable enthusiasm?»

We had just passed Cosenza and I/you/they have remained surprised to have slept so for a long time.

David heavily snored on the bunk close to mine, to the place of command you/he/she was installed, not without arousing perplexity the admiral Emanuele Pollo. The commander however you/he/she had conducted us, together with the credit navigator Gianca, really where we would have owed the approximate but correct calculations of David to be second: unbelievable.

The face and the ugly thoughts of the preceding evening have washed, I have eaten a piece of bread by now dry and a bit of chocolate, drunk of the water. David, that slept after a whole night to drive, was the only good motive not to turn on the autoradio: the trip had become too much silent and linear.

Fortunately just ended that pale breakfast David you/he/she has jumped standing as if an inside alarm clock had reactivated him of hit. You/he/she has begun with the his/her two or three swearwords of I resume and is sat on the edge of the undone bunk.

David woke up every time cursing and insulting against the whole solar system. It didn't do him/it with a Royal wickedness or a valid motivation, it was a thing so, to burden himself/herself/themselves and to get ready himself/herself/themselves to the day.

No more than four hours you/he/she had slept and they were seen in his eyes red striations of tiredness, nevertheless you/he/she has not beaten eyelash, a glass of water is taken, you/he/she has lit up a cigarette and you/he/she has told Chicken that, just gone out of the highway, the command of the mean would have returned to him.

Chicken huffily has mugugnato something but you/he/she is subdued to the will of the official driver. Mark has signalled the necessity to buy as soon as possible of the biscuits and you/he/she has put on the coffee.

The air was bright and already warm when the camper, again in the hands of David, you/he/she has begun the climb for the small country of the hinterland calabro of which Chicken was native.

Looking over the glasses of the camper the Mediterranean hills you/they could perfectly be perceived some landscape. There was odor in true summer in Calabria and the dry earth, the white houses, the itinerant ones that you/they sold onions to the edges of the road, the plants of fig trees of Indian and the blue horizon on which the shade of Stromboli supported him made the small scaling toward the country a marvelous cloth.

At that time the Cd of the trip proposed" you comes and he goes, however dancing, perhaps thinking a life won't be enough, he comes and he goes, holding the life for the tail, in the case that God is not in the center...." We have started singing as a scolaresca in trip there and, two songs later we have reached the country.

The country was not that an only street of asphalt that cut heaps of houses grown in unorganized way and apparently decomposed. They were almost all old buildings, erect without a clear architectural criterion and redrawn in the time by amplifications, changes and restructurings to the good one. There was not a true plaza but a line of the street that it widened for entertaining some parking lot, the church square of a small nineteenth-century church, a pair of benches of cement whitened to the shade of the tiglis and the entry of a cafe tobaccos: cafe inn" it Strolls her."

We have parked the camper in that only possible space and we have gone down looking around us uncertain as lost baggages.

Despite Chicken he was more times dwelled in to assure us how much we had attended and pleasant, me, Gianca and David we reflected in to clumsily move us for the plaza a state of uncertainty and inadequacy from mailed with few malices.

Mark is immediately seemed instead inserted in the context. It was less sweaty than us and generally surer and smiling in to appraise the landing. It seemed a head definite scout on the to make himself/herself/themselves.

«Chicken, goes to ask to your uncle if the camper can be left here» you/he/she has begun.

«I think of yes, whoever you want that touch him/it? However we ask, he/she is never known!» Chicken has responded.

«You start to go, I go to buy the cigarettes to the cafe and arrival» you/he/she has added Gianca, and remembering to be me remains of it without also me I have immediately followed him.

Before I/you could enter together with him the cafe tobaccos Chicken, reached the other head of the piazzetta, you/he/she has shouted to take him a pair of packets that then you/he/she would have settled.

Aware of the nth expense to lost fund, has entered the place with Gianca.

For how much we were to more than thousand kilometers of distance, the atmosphere of the cafe inn" it Strolls her" it was exactly identical to that of the Wine cellar: retired busy to tell him her of holy reason during a game papers, two guys from the air desperate intents to shake complaining the videopokers, some boys assembled in a game of calciobalilla with around some disinterested spectator, a lazy and silent barkeeper that, you/he/she had been more in meat, I would have thought pits Silvio of travel allowance.

Just crossed the entry you/they have noticed us everybody.

It was as if we were invading a habitat of a different kind. I believe pits a legitimate attitude: every time also happened to the Wine cellar, it was natural, if a new face entered, it was quadrated afoot afresh it with threatening attention, as if the stable frequentazione of a place justified reactions of defense or, generically, a sense of possession and such affiliation to be allowed hard looks toward the intruder.

Gianca has asked to the barman:

«Me from two Marlboros?» And that, without not even answering, you/he/she has put on the bench the two packets. He has paid and you/he/she is defile for doing I space me.

When you/he/she has been my turn I have noticed one of the spectators of the game of calciobalilla to draw near over-the-counter particularly incuriosito. Did I desire to proceed to the purchase and to go out in hurry, but has the guy asked indiscreet with strong accent of the place «But what, are you you the friends of Chicken? The Lombardis you are you?»

And of hit the environment in which there were penetrated is seemed me more hostile. I have hesitated an instant to answer, I wanted to absolutely be sure to have understood what the strange character had asked me. It had the reddish skin and an undershirt abandoned on the thick fur that almost entirely covered him the braccias. I have looked at him in the dark eyes and I have nodded smiling kind.

The air of the whole place is stretched completely.

Twenty minutes later, when Chicken and the others not seeing us arrive has reached us to the baretto, Gianca and I we were to the third Gin Lemon offered by our Calabrian friends.

Chicken has greeted as it was a legionary returned after years and all they are jumped him I set riempiendolo of convinced embraces and of sonorous open pacche by hand on the shoulders and on the back. While they were tightening him to him, all they asked questions and whoever pretended updatings detailed on his/her state and on that of the whole family Chicken emigrated to the north.

He has shortly responded but with extreme gentleness, using mainly the sentences of circumstance that are used in cases as that. You/he/she has also refused, in the general amazement, the Gin Lemon persistently offered him, then, turning to me and Gianca, you/he/she has ordered us to move sees us that his/her uncles were waiting us to have lunch.

Before going out of the cafe, there are busy for a match of kick to 5, the revenge of the game disputed six years before in which if I am not wrong we had won us. We have arranged to play her/it in evening to the town campetto, meeting at 21.30 o'clock.

I have ended the Gin Lemon warmingly thanking and it was some as if the relatives of Chicken had also become quickly my relatives and of Gianca.

Even though that thick appetizer made me slightly turn the head, I didn't not at all feel me drunk and when Chicken has confirmed its hurry I/you/they are gone out of the place without the least motor obstacle.

The first time we had come in Calabria to satisfy Chicken. It was a tireless supporting of the native region and it observed fierce his/her origins every qual turns it happened to discuss in general of the problem list and of the characteristics of the people of the south and the politics-cultural situation of the midday.

It returned from his/her relatives every year and every year his/her relatives they welcomed him/it as the prodigal figliol.

Chicken didn't have anybody trace of the south in the language of every day, him" it transformed" in Calabrian fiery only when riveniva to the paesello or when it heavily quarreled with someone. Memory once in which, for a rubbed parking lot, you/he/she had risked to make to be killed by one with at least thirty kilos more than him I set. I was in car with Chicken that time and memory that, in front of the received dishonesty, an exaggerated fury had departed him, far years light from the placid nature and some out of the world that I attributed him.

You/he/she had gone down from the auto cursing and threatening the bad ominide in narrow Calabrian dialect, very tightened by to seem anymore an ancient idiom that a dialect: incomprehensible. To say the truth, apart the dialect, her/it you/he/she had not impressed a lot me; as it is said, I knew my Chicken and you/he/she was seemed me until too much plebeian, false, built, to frighten a big man as that. It seemed a wrestler dilettante to the first meeting my partner and I was mentally already me prepared to offer him a dignified burial when you/he/she is seen the infamous bestione. Yet, stuff not to be believed, that pantomime had intimidated so much the enemy that had not only spared his life, it was even excused for the gesture and you/he/she had thoughtfully removed the auto from the contended parking lot.

Impressive the power of the common places.

However, when we have arrived in front of the residence of his/her/their uncles, Gianca has observed as the house it had the aspect more than an abandoned ruin that of a legitimate residence. They were all so the houses of the country, so consumed by to communicate sense of abandonment of carelessness and of poverty.

Crossed contrarily not hardly the threshold, you/he/she is seemed to enter to Ducal Building or to the Palace of Caserta there.

The walls had been bleached of coolness and in the rooms walls of simple plaster to partitions they were alternated in Venetian plaster. I furnish him it was so loaded to be resulted stucchevole: out Paintings, dead natures in Baroque frames, wood furniture ingot and tied up carpets by hand, couches of ancient green velvet with tassels bordeaux, cristalliere of various dimensions full of oggettini of doubt taste. The environment was impregnate of synthetic notes of flowers of field and everything, every thing, it resulted heavy, oppressive.

We are in every case remained impressed by the deep difference between the inside of the residence and the external façade. Altogether the house was as some people, the whole completely discordant and opposite, hidden and distant worlds one to the other.

Chicken, regardless of the fact that years first his/her uncles had entertained us for twelve days in the small unauthorized annex drawn by a garage, you/he/she has introduced us his/her aunt as if we were never met there.

His/her aunt, regardless of the fact that six years had passed, you/he/she has welcomed us instead as own nephews with celebrations, embraces and so excessive smiles from opinion built.

Upsetting as he/she remembered us.

It perfectly remembered not only the full name of each, but also the exact age, the composition of the family nucleuses, the developed job and the state of recent health. You/he/she has asked to Gianca if the you/he/she was passed the otite, to David if you/he/she had succeeded in selling the motorbike.

I don't know when and from who had received all those notifiches, probably in the long phone calls with the mother of Chicken, it is sure what I would have liked to suggest my dossier to adjourn her when you/he/she has asked me as it went with the girl. Instead I/you/they have been more delicate and I have simply answered «In short... tall and low.»

Luckily the meeting with his/her/their uncle has been all right. You/he/she has been less expansive in to see again us and without any more digestible doubt.

Made the presentations, we have crossed the corridor to reach the room from lunch. I have thrown glances in every room, keeping on recording the sumptuous and nauseating air of the place. After all to the passage, in a kind of niche, there was still the walled safe of his/her/their uncle. It cared inside twelve, I say twelve, hunting rifles and a pair of guns. I knew the content of the safe because to the times of our first stay, Chicken had insisted for the whole vacation because his/her uncle opened him. At the end he had opened her and you/he/she had shown us the arsenal, except then to confide us that you/he/she was not gone out once personally even to hunting in all of his/her life, it was alone" impassioned" of weapons.

Arrived in the room by lunch, a big table of walnut-tree wound by a precious tablecloth in lacy fabric, believes flax of the Flanders, you/he/she has welcomed more us prepared than we could dream. We desired deeply a true meal and we have eaten and drunk as wild boars for two good hours.

At the end of the lunch, I was so convinced to be to the veglione of New Year's eve that I waited for lentils and zampone.

During the lavish meal the jail cell of David rings. I have marveled of as him, impeccably polite in certain circumstances, it went out of house and him assentasse for almost twenty minutes.

When you/he/she has reentered, Mark has asked him:

«There is something that doesn't go? Everything well?»

He has responded I dispatch ache concealing a certain irritation.

«No, no, all to place!»

After a banquet of the kind, the youngest cousin of Chicken has insisted because we picked her/it up" A Fire" that his/her father rarely used and we went all and you are to the sea. Obviously we have satisfied him.

To the 14.30 on the beach of Zambrone there were something as 42 degrees. It will be that I will have had in circle a rate of parmigiana of eggplants 10 times superior to the values allowed by the law, but I am sure to have seen to swim, offshore the blue waves of the sea calabro, Moby dick, the Sirenetta with the crab Sebastian and pure Nemo with all of his/her friends.

It is a miracle as none of us after the 3 games of beach volley, the 2 of racchettoni and the inevitable exit in it pedaled both collassato. Naturally at 20.00 o'clock, returning in country, the thought that from there to a hour we would have had to play to kick it didn't thrill anybody.

David, that was seemed nervous for the whole afternoon and however very silent, you/he/she has asked impatient:

«But do we have to do her/it for strength cazzo of departed fottuta it is? What balls!»

The seventeen year-old cousin of Chicken has replied him, Except.

«But him Dave! What does it hinder yourself? Be a friendly game, nothing of what! Won't you be afraid to make ugly figures?»

Contrarily of David and of us, Except it waited for the game as a child it attends the night of Christmas. Six years before you/he/she had not been able to participate in the meeting with the foreigners for age limit and being the small soccer talent of the paesello quivered for showing his/her qualities in a different context from the usual provincial championship.

I have also begged Vishnu that David didn't recommend to the young cousin of Chicken to undergo himself/herself/themselves to a rettoscopia operated by professor Rocco Siffredi. Fortunately, and certain not without effort, Zinzi has been silent. Has you/he/she mumbled incredulous only «Dave?» And we have quickly reentered in the paesello.

Good evening to all kind listeners. We are connected from this absorbed town campetto in the depth hinterland calabro to furnish you an ample synthesis of the meeting of poster of today: Lombardy VS Calabria.

There was today the public of the great occasions and the match has not betrayed indeed it attended her.

I give to give you the formations.

In sweater all white of cotton (the health's sweater) the formation Lombarda:

Emanuele Pollo among the poles \- the rampart of the defense: David Curti - Paul Orlando on the right - to the left the infallible left-handed Giancarlo Abbacini - to complete the attack the bomber Mark Innocentini.

On the other side of the field, in sweater rossoblu 100% polyester sponsorizzata" cafe inn Strolls her" the formation Calabra:

Emanuele Pollo,cugino and homonym among the poles - Joseph Pollo, greater brother of Emanuele Pollo (that Calabrian) center of the defense - Vincent Anthony's cousin on the right - Anthony Vincent's cousin on the left - Savior Chicken, motto Except, cousin of the two Emanueles Pollo, of Joseph, but also of Anthony even if not of Vincent, to complete the attack.

In disposition bench of the Calabris: Raffaele Pollo, father of Except and uncle of all except Vincent.

It directs the meeting Mr. Raffaele Pollo (the same in bench with the team calabra).

But we depart with the synthesis of the competition:

The formation guest departs better. To 3' Hemming steals center of the field ball and it serves Innocentini that, reentered on the left one, it allows to depart a precise rasoiata on which nothing is able the doorman adversary. 0 to 1.

To 5' Chicken Excepted it seizes the balance after having overcome as ninepins Curti and you Blind. Both the players of the team lombardas appear in evident athletic worry. 1 to 1.

For about ten minutes the teams face him without hocking particularly the doormen. Only exception, the beautiful parade of Emanuele Pollo (north) on personal initiative of Chicken Excepted.

To 16' you Blind it perhaps has a decrease of sugars because it loses ball in enough incomprehensible way and it allows the cousin of Anthony, Vincent, to serve Chicken Excepted that point definite Curti. The young calabro would seem to have the worse but, helping himself/herself/itself with the braccias, it destabilizes Curti and it inserts the defending extreme lombardo with a sumptuous pallonetto. 2 to 1.

To signal an indication of complaint of Curti toward the manager of competition. The arbiter confirms in every way the regularity of the goal, but you/he/she warns Chicken Excepted not to hurt himself/herself/themselves" that then mother Nunzia shouts him/it."

To 25' it spreads the team calabro with the personal tripletta of the twenty-year old Chicken Excepted. The young prank the doorman cousin and a Curti he/she anchors in guilty delay with a hit from billiards. 3 to 1 for the calabris and prolonged celebrations (frankly excessive) of the bomber calabro.

To 27' and something, Anthony" the cousin of all" it reports of" to have us the pins in the calves." The arbiter decrees with inexplicable but liked advance the end of the first time.

The second time opens with the renouncement of Anthony that the teeth tighten but it don't make her/it.

Raffaele replaces him/it" his/her uncle" that he/she remains also however manager of competition because Anthony has to escape" that you/he/she has us people to house."

To 2' some second time Blinds it goes down on the elegant left as a grizzly in pajamas to pois and it supports for Hemming that he/she sees Innocentini I free on the right. The German italo makes to depart a missile that breaks him on the crossroad. Unbelievable as Curti, even though to few meters from the door, doesn't succeed in bagging for the opposition, valued to regulate, of uncle Raffaele and of the usual uncontrollable Chicken Excepted.

The disapproval of Curti is riassumibile in the eleven count consecutive swearwords reading the labial one.

To 5' and some, Chicken Excepted it again faces Curti in a body body.

Also this time would seem to have the best the lombardo, but the young Chicken falling succeeds somehow to get further the ball.

It is 6' minute of the second time when David Curti makes sign to the boy to get up.

The two harshly faces him exchanging himself/herself/itself tense glances and words a little gallant. The thing would seem to end there, but suddenly David Curti thrusts a dry heading to the cousin of Chicken that collapses lifeless.

I have not understood anything.

I could not believe that in a partitella of that kind a similar uproar could be produced. We are courses all in direction of David that you/he/she was immediately taken with his/her father of Except, the uncle of Chicken. They howled all and all they pushed, they wagged him, they shook the braccias, they kicked fidgety to belong to the eccentric scenography.

In reality it came even to laugh because it was a so ridiculous thing that seemed impossible could happen.

Yet has happened, and you/he/she has been as an explosion.

In a fraction of according to, whoever among the presents is turned into the coarse caricature of himself. Disproportionate attitudes, pathetic movements of presumed superiority on the other, threatening words, worries, threats and techniques of subjugation and psychological embezzlement. All very rough and stylized: a film of scarce quality with actors from four money.

Only Mark is worried about to check Except. When the young cousin of Chicken is raised again I have thrown a breath of relief because, although you/he/she had the swollen underlip as a rowboat and bloody, you/he/she didn't seem then so in bad state, of sure thanks to the sky you/he/she didn't have anything of broken, only the pride.

Hardly taking conscience of the dimensions what happened in fact also the youth Except you/he/she has obviously taken to interpret his/her part in the turmoil. You/he/she has started to threaten David with it howls and insults, beating more however in air braccia and legs in an attempt of aggression displayed how effective.

Mark has been able to almost immediately calm him/it, I don't know what has told him.

Gianca and our Chicken, entered trance calabra, they looked for to fury of shoves to restore the calm and to avoid that David had the worse against the whole team of house. The more esagitatos of all it was however the uncle of Chicken, that cursed and smaniava and it pushed in the desperate effort of impattare with David.

With to spend some minutes, the initial heat of his/her/their uncle is turned into an intermittence violence. Uncle first Raffaele seemed to calm down and to estrange from the epicentro of the fact, returned even more then to the position vehement and irascible, load of it howls, of unpredictable gestures and of hot accelerations that enriched of further ridiculousness the odd choreography.

I have taken a handful in face, I have picked her up from Emanuele Pollo, which of the two doesn't know.

You/he/she is treated only of something more than a pat, a light hit, emerged entirely by the turmoil with casual dynamics. Yet the taken blow has been enough to make to also emerge in me raw and noisy reactions of counterattack that Mark to work you/he/she has known how to circumscribe.

We have gone on for about ten good minutes. Different upsurges of decomposed fury interposed by brief moments of shiny apparent quiet; other words to the poison, other impudent glances of David, threats of that, excuses of this, reproaches of that other.

Of a line uncle Raffaele has instantly calmed.

I expected me for the nth resumption when you/he/she has shouted to everybody instead to stop her/it and you/he/she has gone from the campetto without adding a word, calm as if nothing had not happened.

Few minutes and the caciara you/he/she is stopped entirely, his/her cousins have gone and also Except, wet handkerchief on the lip, has taken the street of house.

We have returned to the camper incredulous and mute. Chicken has not followed us on the mean, you/he/she has been climbed in the house by his/her/their uncles to apologize himself/herself/themselves what happened.

We have falsely waited for his/her return relaxed, as in the saletta of attended of the dentist.

When you/he/she has arrived you/he/she has not spoken a lot, you/he/she was evidently bored and cross, but you/he/she has not directly referred to what happened and you/he/she has avoided to pronounce him on David and on his/her gesture.

You/he/she has affirmed only «better if we go.»

He was not able whether to agree with him.

David, not at all reformed, you/he/she has exclaimed arrogant:

«Excellent! Let's go from this country of the cazzo! What otherwise it touches me to pick all of them up how much to headings these imbeciles!»

Anybody however it is still fallen in the provocation of his/her poisonous words and you excite for the brawl and David you/he/she has not received some kind of answer.

Mark has prevented the official driver to drive telling him that you/he/she was too shaken for doing him/it. David has altered as you/he/she would have been able to be a child in punishment, except then to accept and swiftly to defile after all him to the mean. You/he/she is realized also probably at that time to have reached the limit of patience from the group, because you/he/she is laid down desolate above one of the bunks murmuring «Porca puttana, every time, cazzo!»

They were the 23.00 when, without having dined and without being us not even washed, we are practically escaped from Calabria: to Tropea there had not even been and in the blue camper in descent along the hill covered at night you/he/she could irreparably be breathed only a broken toy atmosphere.

### 3. Saint Maria of Leuca (Salento)

The considerations on how much had happened they have been suspended and inviolable for almost two hours, more or less up to the exit from the Naples. Reggio, direction Salerno.

Although we could not do him/it with the camper in movement, there are alternate in a turn of hasty and uncomfortable showers. Particularly, when you/he/she has been my turn I have washed with authentic impatience toward the little space and toward the discomfort given from the continuous hesitations of the mean and from my consequential losses of stability under the lukewarm too throw of the water.

Soaping me the back and the neck I thought to what pits the correct attitude to be assumed towards David. It is true that after all nothing had not happened of so serious to justify definitive positions, but I was so much height of aggressive overlaps that I would be been able to explode. It didn't have anything to do with only it the fact that we had had to modify the vacation for the gestures from lunatic to which David during the years had gotten used besides us and it didn't even concern the let-down received by that slap emerged in the uproar, there was more. There was the fermentation of years of misunderstandings and forced patiences, deep divergences caratteriali and contentiouses on the role, on the charisma, on the position inside the entourage of the frequentazionis and the friends. In shower for an instant I am sure to have desired of prevaricare David with all of my strengths, also physics. For how much I acknowledged me the background baseness of my thought and the immoderate opportunism in to want to face David in a moment in which you/he/she would not have had the support of anybody, I/you/they are gone out of the shower decided to attach him/it.

Smanettava with the stretched out cellular phone on the usual bunk rubbed after all to the camper, completely to the dark, only the blue light of the display reflected on the dark skin.

I immediately have volutamente tried to shift the global silence making considerations on the repercussions that the turmoil would have had on the family of Chicken.

«Beautiful figure that have done! And to think that we could be still now to supper to house of his/her/their uncles. Chicken, when return home will see how much lead will be you your mother! For strength, I/you/he/she bring us from your relatives, they offer them us an island of convenience and we almost end up beating us with the whole family. Absurd, cazzo!»

I/you/they have been vague thinking that some emphasis to put in the generalization was an enough strategy to instigate the decomposed reaction of David. It was really that, his/her opposition, that I looked for with absolute determination. I moved me, I spoke and I posed me putting me on a plain sopraelevato, hoping to pick the fiery nature of that that I was considering the absolute enemy of the moment to all the effects. I was convinced entirely that the incontrollabilità of the reactions of David to show was already by itself a victory, I wanted to instigate him/it, to make the control lose him as I was a lawyer of American film: to show the guilt of the accused to the jury, would have dragged him up to the classical crisis of nerves with attached admission of guilt.

Has chicken commented «Minchia indeed, now who my mother feels her/it?» But you/he/she has not gone over.

Mark is seemed me to come behind. «Here is thing happens to be friends of a sociopatico!» you/he/she has considered, tells however an amusing tone and quietly resigned that you/he/she immediately is seemed away from the intolerance of which I was invaded.

Gianca has begun to joke us above, underlining faces and expressions and commenting the fact happened as an episode goliardico, a serious prank even in which a little boy had justly taken a heading because you/he/she had gone too much indeed out of the lines. You/he/she has concluded saying «And however Chicken excuses, it will be also your cousin, but at least it learns to understand when and with whom can make the stupid.»

You/he/she is seemed me unbelievable as Chicken it seemed to share the thought of Gianca and I could not even imagine that also Mark, somehow, it bore the gesture completed by David. I felt the desire of retaliation to grow in a way indeed spropositato, but I didn't want to stop me, I wanted only that David, that I imagined me sogghignante and pleased to the shade of the light of the leds of the telephone, it badly reacted to the provocation definitely discrediting himself/herself/itself in front of everybody.

I have lifted the draught. «Yes, from the, let's render less dramatic! So much is everything normal for us! It is normal that one to almost thirty years go around for Italy to trim headings. It is normal that the same person always makes him disqualify, practically to life, for the same motive. It is everything normal in times as these where all are justifiable because so much they see of each. Cazzo, is almost thirty years old! Mark among some will be father and us beat even there as bulli of district in vacation! Could break his nose, were able stuffed seriously badly, porca puttana! For thing then? For a game of calcetto! But do you realize of it or no that you are an adult and the things you cannot face her so?»

Truth is that it didn't rub anything of it.

It didn't interest at all me any health of the cousin of Chicken and even of the tolerance to the violence that the mass had developed. I wanted only to know David hurt by my words.

Mark has reorganized «Vabbè, from the, we don't exaggerate. Has happened, stings. You/he/she cannot make a case. The squirted one also knows him/it him to have been wrong, but on the other hand it is the whole day that has the crooked moon. We know that you/he/she is done so, if it turns badly him it becomes over measure aggressive. But yes, that know? Even one day if an instant that crazy head records her/it that has and it also calms down him. For unfortunately it touches now us to hold him/it to us, so!»

It is really because of the kindness of Mark that I/you/they am overdue in the low hits.

«Is all right so that the! So much we know him/it how Mr. David Curti is. Until the things they are all right you can turn together there, but if it has then his/her cazzis you have to be afraid of that that can combine. Be right Mark, become aggressive, as the dogs! After all you cannot wait a lot yourself from one grown in the total absence of rules and figures. Let's allow him everything, let's grant him everything! Even it calms down... mah!»

I have not even had the time to realize how much I/you had shinily been I win that David has lifted with a rapid and hot tempered release in my direction. I have felt the muscles of the legs become stiff himself/herself/themselves, the skin of the face to burn full of the blood quickly flowed, and I have concretized that, if David was not stopped and you/he/she had attached me, I would have been completely unprepared and destined to suffer. David however you/he/she has not struck me but you/he/she is stopped with the face to no more than five centimeters of distance from mine fixing me with true fury.

I perfectly perceived the pure anger of a friend betrayed in the depth of his/her sufferings, nevertheless I have continued to recite a script by now inadequate and I have subsequently provoked him

«Thing you want to do? Do you want to also give a heading and me to complete the work?»

I had the trembling voice and the tachycardia. I cannot say that I was afraid of David in itself; in a comparison of young male animals that you/they vindicate his/her own role inside a flock, the answers of my body they were more physiological: I would have battled. But going over the instinctive reasons, I understood to have crossed the confinements within which you/he/she should be a friendship and I have begun to fear not to be able to return back.

David has stiffened the neck and stopped the breath. You/he/she has simply said then:

«Are also a big coglione you! I have always considered you better than that that are, but truth is that you also make punishment you!» And he is riseduto on the messy bunk taking back to smanettare with the jail cell.

Chicken and Gianca, by now contracts and prepared to separate the dawning tension, they have returned to sit.

I have looked at Mark's eyes reflected in the retrovisore looking for a partial understanding but I have found only you total accusation and disapproval and I have absolutely felt wrong.

After ten minutes of march I have tried to apologize to David. In the perfect silence that was created, I have turned toward his/her position and I have whispered «Zinzi...»

He has interrupted me calm but definite. «You are silent some!»

And I/you/they have reverted in the void of that absurd night.

The rest of the trip is departed so: suffocated by silences of grudge.

At 4.00 o'clock broken, gone out of the street Appia, we have reached S. Maria of Leuca and, after about twenty minutes given to turn without precise destinations, Mark has stopped the camper in the any square saying that you/he/she was too much tired to continue and that we would not have been able better however to find of.

In the Salento there had been only five days, five years before. You/he/she had substantially been an anonymous vacation, dictated by the opportunity given by the marriage of a cousin of Gianca. Obviously Gianca was the only one to have been invited, but you/he/she had gotten to be able him to bring four friends" of company." We had lodged out in an apartment hand of ownership of the father of the bridegroom, as always zero expenses.

To be vague I could absolutely consider that stay a relaxing vacation in which had not developed that life of sea; reality is that the balls we were incredibly broken there and later as soon as five days, three of which pasts feeding us some leftovers of the wedding to which you/he/she had participated Gianca, we had decided to go.

When Mark has extinguished the lights of the mean I have wondered how much sure to sleep in that excavated dark and isolated was, but I have had neither the desire nor the strength to express nothing and without realizing I/you/they have quickly collapsed in a lethargic sleep of it.

I wake up for the warm one. The plate of the camper absorbed the fierce sun of the late forenoon as it was a tin can thrown above a power on brazier. I had sweat among the hair, on the neck, on the pillow, in the folds of the knees and the groin. I have looked through the saturated air of the cabin and I have noticed that David had already lifted, then I/you/they have gone down from the mean.

It was sat above one of the chairs from camping that they belonged to our endowment.

It looked at the sea.

When we were stopped before there the evening, I would not have been able to leastly imagine that we were positioned in such a beautiful place there. The sea trespassed in front of the eyes dark and foamy and the town, that he/she remained to our right, could almost entirely be gathered in his/her own essence: the inside streets you traffic of people, the slow autos looking for parking lot, the blocks of stone of the dazzling most ancient constructions almost for the strength of the light.

I have had an immediate return of comfort, the air was warm but ventilated.

I have taken a chair from camping and I have placed her of side to that of David, he has left that I did.

«Looks at the lighthouse! I didn't even remember him/it to me! And the city? All white! Spectacular!» I have begun.

«Beautiful indeed! But are we sure to be here already there states? I don't remember to have seen a place of the kind» David has answered before we spoke seriously there.

«Zinzi, excuse for yesterday. I am behaved by benemerito stupid.»

«You have exaggerated, but I had also exaggerated. We are equal, you/he/she can be gone over.»

I didn't understand if the tone detached of David were the natural expression of whom wanted to throw him really the thing to the shoulders or it represented a new distance within which you/he/she had established that had then to be our relationship from there in.

«I don't think at all that you are grown to I skid him/it. I have never afforded to consider you a social misfit neither I have ever commiserated you for your family situation. You are only a friend for me and, aldilà of the friendship, considers you a good person.»

«What has happened with mine is not very different from what happens to a lot of people in the world and of sure it doesn't justify me for the cazzates that I am doing to gust in my life.»

He/she not only spoke as if you/he/she had very concretely thought on how much happened the evening before but as if you/he/she had thought deeply on himself, everything himself.

«Paul, has to go, I have to succeed us» you/he/she has said.

«Eh? Where? But you are not about to put you in really?»

«No. Not more. I have in dance a contract. I have to do a preliminary with an Australian firm. I depart, I go. Yesterday I was nervous because it seemed there were problems with the documents for the expatriation. Cazzos, are so near that to the alone thought to fail.»

«Australia?»

«It is that true America today!»

«But don't you even speak English, but that bushels saying?»

«What cazzo rubs of it of the English! I go to settle there, at all to hold raced of diction! The language I will learn her/it, would be now also! Possible that are the only ones to the world that don't detach a word of English?»

«And it is all right, you go in Australia to learn the English, then however lathes and you put yourself in really!»

«Paul, cazzo, doesn't think it more to put me in really! How does it do him to think about starting a firm in Italy today? Am not talking you of a thing to time, I don't go to make a vacation I study, have taken a decision! I go there for staying us!»

«And because? For money?»

«I will earn twice almost that that profit here, but it is not that. Mark is right and also yesterday you were right. I am too much unstable, aggressive, dangerous by now. I always risk to burst from a moment to the other and I am so crushed by the weight and by the stress of the place where I work that it will go to end that I will ruin forever me the life. Cazzo, by now they are exactly as them, I don't see ten centimeters over my reasons and my affairs and I am so full of hostility toward everything and everybody that the only way is to leave again from zero. I have to restart.»

«Is not true! Don't be this way! But because Australia then?! Do you return yourself account that would be able not to be the new world that waits yourself?»

«Would perhaps be able not to be him/it, and I would find only me, down there, with the completely open nerves! But you/he/she could be also it; you/he/she could be very better also of that cazzos of lake that it sticks you I set as an avid sow. Think of us: different spaces, different cultures, different people, different behaviors. Do you remember the courses of welding that I have done? I have practically taken every patent of qualification and after little time you/they have looked for them to me. It is a multinational firm with filial all over the world, industrial cantieristica. The Italian center is in Pisa and from there you/they have called me to propose me the experience in one foreign branch of theirs. Think that have summoned only me for the votes that have taken in the examinations to the courses! Do you understand? Do you return yourself account? Any favor because are relative of that or that other, any recommendation, any culos to be licked! Doesn't it seem yourself unbelievable? Oh, is not at all a walk to have a permission of I work in Australia! Is Paul, an opportunity, that I have to lose?»

I have not even tried to tell David that an error was doing. You/he/she would not have listened to me and however I didn't think him/it. Codardamente was not escaping from its past and from its problems, you/he/she was building only a second occasion with the appointment and the work of his/her own job.

Because not to try then? What did it have to lose?

«David that to say. The esteems You for the conviction, the solidity and the devotion that you put in the things that you I give!» And He has responded «Thanks, we hope!»

Then after few second from that new and unbelievable revelation the voice of Chicken is heard that, gone down by the camper with Gianca and Mark, you/he/she has howled with the usual ways idiots.

«And the Madonna, but that beautiful place!»

Before we rejoined us with the group David you/he/she has stopped me.

«Not to tell anything please, we make one thing at a time. When we return I tell him/it me, always that everything is all right!»

I have answered «Ok» and I have seen in the eyes of Mark that it drew near a true complaisance for happens him reconciliation.

We have turned, imprisoned of the incandescent mean, up to find her/it before and perhaps only area equipped for the standstill camper. Mark, taking too seriously himself/herself/itself some, he/she spoke as a young well formed tourist guide.

«Leuca, White. It is the name that you/they gave her the Greek fishermen for the brightness of the place. Here the two seas, the Adriatic and the Ionian meet him, and for this motive the ancient Romans called the place" You the earth's end" from which takes the name the basilica" De finibus terrae" that I propose to visit. As the lighthouse, more than 200 stairs to reach the top and to enjoy of an exceptional panorama.»

Knowing him/it, I knew the itinerary you/he/she would be studied.

I Mark it didn't conceptually depart never for an unorganized trip and, even if until here you/he/she had not been able to give an intellectual contribution to the consignment, now that it had not the opportunity of it if the left era to escape.

Mark loved to gather the intrinsic sense of the places that visited and they interested him deeply the culture, the art and the historical origins of the places that he saw and of the people that you/he/she knew.

I have listened to him with pleasure while it was drawing that that according to his/her point of view it was the good way of gathering the city pugliese, then however Chicken has interrupted him.

«You feel some, Peter Angela of the cazzo, I also see her/it to me your basilica of the" earth trolley bus", but I have a hunger devastante. It is not that among so much culture there is space to eat something?»

In effects also Chicken had its motivations.

We have taken accords to spend the night in the zone equipped with an ambiguous character that, thick whisker and black hairpiece, sustained to be the owner of the camping. The funny character has invited us to enjoy some beauty of the place, you/he/she is vainly proposed to mend the plant of conditioning that you/he/she had known broken chatting with Gianca and you/he/she has tried to sell to Chicken, for a torn price, sunglasses guaranteed original Gucci.

Chicken has staggered, but you/he/she has refused the proposal.

From the camping we have moved afoot there making a beautiful street piece. Arrived in center, Mark has roused a small ristorantino on the long sea: typical kitchen, good relationship quality price.

When it happens me to eat in another city I always have an excellent sfiga. Or understands in a place where the criterions of cleaning are comparable to those of a favelas or understands in a typical restaurant however out context: of the type that I have eaten in a Sardinian restaurant to Rome, to Florence in a Mexican, to you Gnaw in a Brazilian.

This time, confirming the infallibility of the intuition of Mark, you/he/she had been all right there and sipping an excellent primitive of Manduria I/you/they are tasted me some linguines to the rock-cliff.

It was August but the air it was marvelously dry and ventilated, I felt me from God.

Ended the lunch we have begun the tour of the pearl of the Salento.

We have been in the basilica, in the tower of the lighthouse and before to at least 10 different villas exaggerated by the unclassifiable style. Mark has spent the time making me confidences on the style of this and on the structural characteristics of that. It did only it with me, it drew near as if it had to confess himself/herself/themselves and it told low voice «This is the villa in Chinese style.»

I didn't know whether to feel me honorable of the thing, aware that Mark devoted only so much hurry to whom held recettivo, or if scoglionarmi in front of the excessive dose of information.

David, from his/her song, it tried to insert him in the discourses between me and Mark purely making observations of practical character on the housebuilding of the visited buildings, advancing doubts and perplexity on the goodness of the you plaster, of the impiantistica and of the coibentazione of the roofs.

Chicken has longly sustained to have already seen one of the villas in one special on Italy One in which it spoke of ghosts and vampires.

Gianca affirmed that one of the constructions were suspiciously similar to the castle of Grayskull of" He Man", accusing him by now dead planner of plagiarism.

After sometime our driven visit you/he/she is filled with impatience, not even we were not a second average after six hours of Egyptian museum. Chicken insisted because we went to the beach, Gianca insisted because we went to the mercatinis considering that it absolutely had to buy the underwater mask to go to the beach, David you/he/she has begun to insist because we satisfied the two idiots, threatening with suppressing them with the strength if Mark and I had not resolved the thing.

We have negotiated and we are inserted at a street there where some itinerant shed created a small arranged market.

I don't believe in the destiny.

I don't believe that there am already a plot writing in the things that we live and we do. It would bother me if it were so, I would feel me imprisoned as in" The Truman show" because it would mean that we are not free to create us what we want and that we cannot even avoid or to postpone what we don't want.

Yet among those stands, discussing with Gianca on what pits the best mask compared to his/her facial conformation, a sign from the destiny I have perhaps had him.

I had noticed entering at the most the street, a small flock of gnocca, two or three samples, to stir agile among the benches of the mercatino. Looking for the proper article for the good Gianca however, I had lost her sight and I had quickly resigned.

While disquisivamo in capannello on the necessity to combine besides some fins and a nozzle to the essential mask of the wise Gianca, has felt to touch on the shoulder and a female voice you/he/she has asked:

«And you thing does us here?»

Of release I have turned, all are turned of release, attracted by the voice of a woman how much he can be a fasting white shark from a cow Chianina that he/she gropes to hair of water.

Perhaps I didn't even have him ever felt to speak, but when I have seen her I have found her more beautiful than I/you had ever realized me. To thousand kilometers from house, I had before Alice Boffi.

«No excuse, You that you do us here!» I have absolutely answered surprised, without considering to be able to seem impolite.

«I am on vacation! And I believe that also you, you, be on vacation! Have you arrived today?»

«Yes, that is we have departed Monday, but we have arrived yesterday here night.»

«You have made a wide turn!» you/he/she has observed laughing.

«No, no, are taking a trip to standstills with the camper! We arrive from Calabria, he/she thinks.»

«Ah, beautiful conceives! I am here guest of my cousin, she is of Leuca.» And you/he/she has pointed out a girl behind of her, nice but some in overweight, that has drawn near handing the hand.

«To like Julia!»

In one minute a turn of handshakes and almost formal presentations you/he/she has departed, all with everybody.

Gianca, that was paying the itinerant one, has greeted the three girls in way I dispatch. Not that you/he/she was bored some meeting, it was alone very busy in the fundamental purchases.

Alice, Julia and Sarah.

Sarah was a beautiful tipino: agile body, unthread short hair, smiled easy. Julia was not ugly, but you/he/she had a style from Valeria Marini in miniature that you/he/she got heavy the figure of it.

Alice was very beautiful.

Not having her ever spoken seriously, I had always considered her a timid girl, ready to entrench himself/herself/themselves behind the radiant smile when we met there racing.

Yet in this first true meeting of ours it seemed very easier and to his/her ease than I was not me. You/he/she will have been because really you don't wait yourself to meet a person that you know in such a distant context, it will be because I didn't have I set the freshness of a restful vacation but the work of a trip from the unbalanced rhythms and from the conflicting emotions, it will be that I had never considered her of such an exciting beauty, it is sure what I felt me jammed.

Has Alice asked «When you leave again?»

Mark has answered her, surely you/he/she had suffered something my embarrassment.

«Tomorrow in the first afternoon.» You/he/she has shortly explained then her the motivations of our trip.

«You go to the beach?» you/he/she has asked Julia.

«Theoretically yes, if that has ended to shop! Do you also want shovel and bucket?» David has answered provoking a hostile look from Gianca.

«If you want we can go together to the beach» you/he/she has proposed then Mark with naturalness.

«Certain! Let's do you us from guide! » enthusiastic Alice has nodded and, of accord on the to make himself/herself/themselves, we have moved in direction sea there.

In the journey that brought us in the beach Alice it walked me before. I observed her the tanned legs, the knees slightly to" X", the thin ankles. It brought a skirt of jeans above the custom and a yellow canotta that the nervous back discovered her. It was not provocative or vulgar not at all, but it emanated a feeling of freshness and unique naturalness.

I looked for, in the discourses along the journey, to launch clear warnings toward all; I assumed sure attitudes, I cast glances, I inserted me in the discourses, everything as if I wanted to observe by law a sort of priority toward her" my prey."

Mark, seen the attitude, you/he/she is placed side by side and you/he/she has murmured «Paul, is understood that you like you/he/she, but now not to put to be you his/her child stupid, goes otherwise to end that you expire her.»

Alice from his/her song didn't make mystery of his/her own interest. It looked for me with the look, it laughed to my wisecracks, you/he/she has given even me a pat on a shoulder when, speaking of the lighthouse of Leuca, I have begun to sustain the part of the young tourist guide that he takes too seriously recycling, with tone saputello, the information furnished us by Mark.

That fist on the shoulder I consider him/it our first contact.

After ten minutes of walk ciabattante of infradito we have arrived to a beach in central position in comparison to the country: white sand, sets marvelous.

I have asked to Gianca how come anybody he/she remembered the place in comparison to our preceding trip.

You/he/she has answered that to Leuca there had never been and that the place where we had sojourned it was out a paesello hand, forgotten by the Lord.

«And because you have not brought us here?» you/he/she has complained Mark.

«Now pick up you her with me! Don't you remember that you didn't feel like making a cazzo if not of scassarvi of beer and to go to the beach? Above all you, Paul and Chicken!»

In effects, five years before, our indolence had prevented us from seeing over our nose. There were wrong, S. Maria of Leuca was a very beautiful place.

Arrived in the beach there we have put in custom and flies in the sea cobalt. Alice was spectacular even more with the wet black hair. I looked at her taking care of the interest not to show me over it measures that had in his/her comparisons; I feared to appear her intrusive, excessive. Fortunately, and thanks also to the help of the looks" consigliatori" of Mark, I/you/they have succeeded in circumscribing the impudent lines of the courting and of done we have spent one delicious afternoon.

Me dipped in the well filtered court toward Alice; Mark dipped in the discussions on his/her/their children and on the marriage with Sarah, also her promise bride; David and Chicken dipped in a merciless competition to gain the Sea mignon; Gianca dipped offshore, with the infallible mask: to the search of Nemo.

Toward evening we are greeted there, we were all very satisfied and tired ones of the day. I had not concluded a lot with Alice, but I was sure to have thrown some good bases to reach the final zampata in evening. We are given appointment at 22.00 o'clock in the principal plaza there and we have undertaken the long walk toward the area of standstill.

Reached the camping, the imperative was to shop: we didn't have anything in dispensation. We have taken back the mean and, you follow the indications of the frightening owner of the camping, we are supplied of all point in a market out of the center there.

While I was loading the beer on the ribbon conveyor of the box rings my jail cell: it was my mother. I have passed the charge to the others and I/you/they are gone out of the supermarket.

I had not felt mine anymore from when I had departed and I already imagined me a series of endless complaints on the fact that I/you never made me to feel, that they worries him, that didn't behave us in that way.

Unfortunately you/he/she has not gone this way.

«Hello? Hi mother! I would have called you me this evening!»

«Yes, yes, as no! How is it going?»

«Well!»

«Is having a good time?»

«Yes!»

«You have found traffic?»

«No, only to Florence, an accident but nothing of what.»

«Time?»

«Beautiful!»

I was vague. Substantially I didn't have a lot of desire to talk to mine, sopratutto after the last time that we were seen there. However you didn't not at all seem bothered by the my synthetic genericità.

«You? All to place? Is there there Henry? Do you pass him/it to me then?»

«No, there is not.»

«Sinned, I wanted to insult him/it some! Greet me him!»

I set out me to conclude in times record the communication when my mother has said:

«He/she listens to Paul...»

Done make suspicious I have immediately replied «Mother that there is? Has something happened?»

"He/she listens" it was the incipit of my mother to communicate the ugly news.

You/he/she had said" he/she listens" when his/her grandmother was dead," she listens" when, hocked by the debts of the bookstore, we had had to abdicate the summer vacations," she listens" when you/he/she seemed that dad and she were about to separate himself/herself/themselves.

You has jammed, then you/he/she has answered disclosing the real motivations of the call.

«I didn't know whether to call you or less because I didn't want to ruin you the vacation. However then I have thought that you/he/she would have been better to tell you, I know that you were him affectionate. It is dead Mr. Mario. It is dead this morning and tomorrow they make the funeral.»

It is strange, but I could say that on the moment the news has not not at all struck me.

I believe has been a kind of unconscious reaction. I was tied up to Mario, but I have not reacted with particular discouragement, I have answered only «I, regret a lot Poor guy, but of however it was elderly and sick. I had understood him that you/he/she would not have gone on for very.»

It was not quite true.

My mother is as comforted in to feel me calm and you/he/she has talked to boldness of the renal block that had given the hit of grace to Mario. You/he/she has added that to the funeral Henry and she would have gone because my father would have had to hold opened the bookstore. Has Mario remained in our discourses for a few minutes, has my mother asked then «Sure of star well?»

«Yes! Obvious that is sorry me, but I have told you him, I waited me for him» I have repeated inflexible.

Before attaching, mother has also communicated me that to the return I would have had to witness in a notarial study. Mario had left something for me in the compiled will.

I have greeted her reassuring again her and I have reached the others that loaded the envelopes on the camper, all as if nothing had happened.

During the supper Chicken has appraised the scarce probabilities of the Milan to dispute a championship to the height of the expectations while I thought about the cold body of Mario confined in an a coffin.

Gianca is complained about the insufficiency of the narrative Italian fantasy and the lack of originality of the plot of the last read trilogy while I imagined me the precise moment in which Mario had exhaled.

David has begun a discourse on the erotic qualities of the cinquantennis, electing Barbaric Of urso what sexy icon of the moment while I consulted me on the sense of the life.

Until, chewing the beefsteak that had cooked Mark to the flight, I have declared:

«You remember Mario, my neighbor? It is dead, you/he/she has told me him my first mother to the telephone.»

You/he/she has been almost embarrassing to gather the incredulous looks of Chicken, Gianca and David that wove him in the attempt to understand the pertinence of the communication.

Mark has tried to say something but I has felt so out place that I have immediately minimized, confirming concepts already exploited in the phone call with my mother and generalizing on the age and on the scarce state of health of which you/he/she enjoyed Mario.

You/he/she has gone away so the news of evening, well soon cancelled by the competition announced between Chicken and David, rivals united by the hope to receive an any sexual performance from the cousin of Alice: the Sea pocket.

Absolutely definite not to grant to the mourning for Mario the rest of my thoughts of the evening, I have gotten ready not even building me the image I had to witness to a supper of the high society. I have carefully shaved, redrawn with the tweezers the rebellious eyebrows, ingellato the hair that first they were not in laying, then they were but I didn't like they, then they were finally still as I liked they. I have worn the pole black that dressed well me and a smile of those to make hit; dopodiché we are gone out.

The plaza already swarmed with people that walked earning the waterfront: who ate ice creams, who sipped cocktail of fruit, who entered and it went out of shops still opened, who snooped among the stands, who made photo, who recalled to the order his/her own children attracted by the small groups of little boys that, had a good time, they raced for the space enjoying better it than they didn't make the adults.

The three girls had already arrived and they waited us with their bright tan in a posting slightly.

When we are rejoined there I have not been able to do to less less than notice that Alice brought entirely some white shorts similar to those that you/he/she put often Chiara. It is strange, because for how much they had entirely that same shorts and a physical structure rassomigliante, to Alice they put on in a completely different way; I don't know how to explain as, different.

For first thing, as in the most classical of the appointments, is sat to the tavolinis of a cafe there and we have ordered to drink. You/he/she is not taken a lot it because Chicken and David began the suffocating pressing towards his/her/their cousin. The youth Marinates you/he/she was squeezed in a vestitino to blue floral press combined to sandals and bag whipped cream. Not how same I simply found badly her deprived of points of interest. You from his/her song didn't skimp the avanceses of the two pretenders, and rather it worried him about to dose attentions in percentage paritaria, giving for this the impression not to be attracted neither from David neither from Chicken.

Mark has taken back with Sarah the abandoned discourse in the afternoon on his/her/their children and on the relationship of couple in the marriage. Alice, slowly sipping a Pinacolada, it discussed with me and Gianca of the last films you approve to the cinema.

After the cafe we are thrown back in the plaza there.

The people scattered for the center didn't mention to decrease and following the wake of relaxed camminanti, we are inserted in an adjacent to alley the church there.

A group folk played the Taranta, typical dance Salentino to which it is practically impossible to escape.

The Taranta is far a music that attracts from: you approach yourself curious to understand of thing him you treat and you find again yourself involved in the frenzy of the notes and the hits of tambourine.

We have approached curious there to musicians' group from road.

The plot of the notes was very simple and repetitive, but so much coinvolgente to be imposed to stir to time. Mark, torn me Alice from in front of the eyes, you/he/she has started dancing with her. Jammed, I have observed them smile him at story and to stir without a logic. I was not jealous, I was simply marveled to discover how much they appeared similar in the way of living the things.

David, Chicken and Gianca, understand that we would be stopped there, you/they have organized a service shuttle between the plaza and the near cafe to supply the participants to the dances (sopratutto Julia) of fuel etilico.

You want the music, you want the alcohol, well soon, between the tipsy smiles and the tested glances of agreement, all we are fallen in the convulsive dance.

I turned, I rotated, I jumped. I felt the music invade me and to leave me, the free head, the absent legs.

I have danced for different minutes, first solo and completely light, then with Alice, with Sarah, with Julia, again with Alice and on to end with Gianca, Chicken, David and Mark, in an indecent choreography similar to a strampalato Sirtaki.

Among the dances, the laughters and the sips full of alcoholic drinks, Mario and its death have become a latent thought, a silent illness and for this most dangerous. I feared more than every thing the possibility that hidden pain resurfaced of hit sbugiardando the falsehood of the reaction that I had had to the news. Luckily I have held hard and has not happened.

Only in an instant, in a moment in which the memory of Mario started who knows to appear on the surface from what implied, Mark has taken aside me, you/he/she has thrusted me in hand a glass of rum and Coke and you/he/she is made sure of my conditions.

«Paul, everything well? I know him/it that today's news has you.»

«Mark leaves alone! I am well, calm!»

«Ok! Health!» you/he/she has cut short him, with such a definite toast to be risked to break in thousand pieces the glasses.

It didn't run away from the discourse, you/he/she had simply sounded how much ready was to speak of it and according to him, neither me neither the moment we were proper not at all.

«You, rather» I have taken back

«It is as did you imagine him/it this goodbye to the bachelorhood? Is it as did you want him/it? I say this way because I see you tonight. Oh, Mark, is your evening, you/he/she is your trip!»

«Is our trip! And it is us that for this evening is apart, also because I have the impression that this is more your moment.»

«My? Do you say for her?»

«I say for her» you/he/she has sneered.

I have turned toward Alice being afraid that could feel us. He/she danced distant, and it was so alive that would have liked to freeze that moment in a photo or in picture.

I have confided to Mark «it is very beautiful!»

He has loaded me. «Courage Hemming furious... it attaches!»

And with the voice by now distorted by the alcohol I have exclaimed «Every moment of mine, is one our my moment friend!» And I have lost heart in the uproar aiming definite on Alice.

Later you/he/she has been the usual Mark to propose a classical from end evening. Idea has immediately been shared with enthusiasm: all in beach, falling stars and dawn on the sea.

We have recovered from the camper some sea cloths and different beers, there are on its way then. Arrivals, have defined the base camp moving bunks up to form a kind of quadrilateral.

I speak of base camp because it is clear that when he goes to see the stars in the beach with a group of girls, it doesn't serve that a lot of time passes before someone invitations someone to estrange from the group in the attempt to shirk himself/herself/themselves. In effects they are not passed more than ten minutes that David went away Julia with the excuse to look for crabs among the rock-cliffs. Chicken has accused the hit and you/he/she is thrown on a fresh beer still recovered by the freezer of the camper.

Not as soon as you/he/she has opened her, you/he/she has exclaimed «Ah I don't drink anymore already!» And you/he/she has passed her to me.

I have drunk cold beer looking I fix the dark sea. It is magnificent as the evenings in the beach instigates silences full of deep reflections. I didn't think about Mario anymore, but even to Mark and even to Alice. I thought to how much the moment was beautiful that was living and to when, growing, I would have begun to consider the nights in the beach a thing for boys.

Alice has not spoken for some, you/he/she almost respected my silence, then, also looking at her the dark sea, you/he/she has said:

«Who knows because to a certain age they are begun to consider moments as this a thing for boys... »

I/you/they have been impressed.

David and Julia have now reentered after a quarter of, and around of crabs didn't have to be many of it because David had a beautiful hunter face of molluscs failure. Chicken has exulted conceited, but with discretion. You/he/she has left that it passed other transient about ten minutes, then Julia is brought with away the idea to look for shells. Originality to be sold.

Mark and Sarah have deepened the discussion on the relationship of couple and they are compared with vivacity on warmer themes.

Title of the talk show": As him he/she lives in optimal way a relationship? Which are the points hinge to implore a failure"?.

Alice and I are slowly inserted there in the comparison, even though expressing the share in different way. Sarah has dictated his/her own one man shows lines you/he/she drives for the constitution of a serious and durable relationship, almost a list of rigid rules within which an individual should modulate his/her own character and his/her own actions towards the partner. I didn't do her/it so iron and even so perfectly convinced. In reality you/he/she has come even instead to sustain, that the autoerotismo was a form of betrayal or however a disrespect toward his/her own companion.

Mark on his/her behalf has enunciated with as many safety the cornerstone idea of the Mark. thought:

«The only reasonable rule in a relationship, is the absolute lack of rigidity in to give him some rules.»

To do misses I he/she waits for him/it I have taken sides with Mark and with his/her opinions.

While I was waiting that also Alice revealed his/her own thought about it, I reasoned on the fact that if Sarah and its rules had been indeed the key of a solid relationship, the eternal loneliness I would have been destined to. Above all as it regarded the autoerotismo.

Alice has timidly said «Boh! Personally I don't believe that there are true solutions in absolute. Nobody is always right.» Then you/he/she has not added anything and you/he/she is eclipsed in a smile of coverage.

You/he/she had been another, I would have considered the vagueness and the genericità of his/her words what index of lack of character or ability to personally compromise himself/herself/themselves. I have not done him. Alice had immediately given me the impression to be an extremely practical person, one who the things wanted to live her without theorizing too much her, a sure girl of the fact that to say, to tell him, to give and to give him absolute truth didn't serve then to a lot.

In the time I would have understood how much that first impression was absolutely exact.

More or less in the moment in which Gianca has fallen asleep on a bunk from sea wound as a worm in a quilt beige, Chicken you/he/she has returned with Julia. Its depressed expression has made clear that also the mission" shells" it was bankrupt and to that point you/he/she is seemed evident that neither him neither David you/they would have beaten nail.

At that time I have begun to consider that, if I/you had wanted to play my papers to the best, I would also have owed me to try to hide me with Alice.

Strange, but it is not that I was particularly attracted by that idea.

Obvious that I liked Alice, but I didn't have that professional assaltatore yearning that usually gathered me. I was well so, in the group, to speak of everything and of nothing. Yet at that time the role imposed to conclude something.

Absurd, but the thought that if I/you had not tried there I would have betrayed it attended her of someone, you/he/she has begun to bother under me as a callus to a foot.

While I was making mental review of the fish fauna of the Mediterranean one with the purpose to individualize the most proper kind to attract Alice out of the group, has she asked me «Paul we go for a stroll?»

Have I answered «you Prefer to go to look for Capesante or Cannolicchi?» and her, laughing, you/he/she has given me a fist on a shoulder: the second.

During our walk I have tried to strive me the more possible to enter the part of the stallion to the best from beach. Of fact, I have placed only some expression some more accattivantes and some laying some surest. I talked to algid boldness of my apartment in lease furnished with personal taste and of as I succeeded in managing all: job, sport, house and women, with good results. Alice has not interrupted, too much kind to do him/it, but she was seen how much you/he/she was disappointed by the insufficiency of my presentation. You/he/she is not taken it long before demordessi. Her I have addressed to with disarming frankness and I have begun «Senti Alice...»

«Tell me.»

«I know him/it that in this moment I should aim to concretize the evening and I should try perlomeno to kiss you but...»

«Ah yes? Therefore?»

«I don't make her/it! Oddio, is not that you are you that you don't go me. It is that I have some feelings contradictory respect to as I should behave myself. I don't want to reduce our meeting to a boarding from sea, but not even to make to pass this evening without living her/it. To say the truth. I don't even know why am telling you everything this, is that I think too much at times! It will be that I have had a particular day today, but I don't succeed really to feel me to my ease.»

«Ah no?»

«No.»

«I regret!»

«You regret?»

«Yes, regrets me that you are everything crazy! Oddio how much angosciante are! I would owe... I would owe... I would owe... but who has said never that you should do something?»

Stricken, sunk.

Alice has not leastly been tender in to express his/her own disappointment and I didn't understand if I/you had offended her considering her/it a prey from beach or simply if you/he/she was realized to have a total paranoiac in front of itself.

I have realized to be ended and I/you/they are seen me reenter from the others as Chicken and David that had preceded me. I have tried to excuse me.

«Excuse if I have offended you, but I did a matter of roles of it: me, you, in the beach, it is normal.»

«Normal thing? I would have preferred that brutally wondered me to sweep rather than a debut of the kind in which you establish the" roles" of the human beings in you determine circumstances. "Role" then, the most hateful word that can be used for describing the meeting among two people. Fanculo to the roles!» it has sbottato full of grim. Has you/he/she continued then «Who has spoken of roles and of expectations? I have simply thought about wanting to know you, to want to speak to you, considering that I have been meeting you for years and I didn't even have never heard your voice. Is there always whoever he/she thinks that should be gone over, but then to earn of it what?»

I would have paid for having a second opportunity, to have the possibility to serenely know a person of whom I didn't almost know anything but with which was who knows because convinced to succeed in creating a good empathy. Sure to have lost every hope I have her bofonchiato «Excuse still Wings, from the, we reach the others.»

But she has not stirred and is sat on the waterline without the least worry to get dirty himself/herself/themselves the white shorts.

«You feel, at least for an evening creeds that you could sustain the" role" of that boy that tells who is to a girl that wants to know him/it?» you/he/she has asked then disarming.

«Mmm... I believe that could succeed us, but if I am not all right do me some signs that change character, I change" role!" And if didn't have not to even work so, I do as have said you and I brutally ask you to sweep! What do you say of it?» I have replied arousing in her a small smile and a pair of kind insults.

At that time and from that smiles I have understood to have another occasion.

From that instant in then I have known Alice Boffi.

We have almost remained two hours on the waterline, gradually absorbed in a complicity that I believed it was unattainable from extraneous in so little time. With Alice Boffi I/you/they have slipped inside a tunnel of emotions not filtered inside a well of truth. I have given of me everything how much I believed I had to give, without thinking about her reactions without looking for a some kind of approval. I have talked her to absolute transparency of my emotional instability and the stupid jealousies toward the friends, of my fear of precariousness and the sense of incompleteness; of Mark and of Chiara; of my parents and of Mario, the old just dead friend. I have described her all of me, all, at the cost to seem her ridiculous or to frighten her.

Substantially I could say that I have him practically infected with all the paranoias that I had available, but she is not seemed ever bored, rather you/he/she has listened to every word of mine, it was almost thankful of so much confidence, it was almost spellbound of it. Has not you/he/she revealed of itself Alice a lot, and also when I have asked her «But you? Don't you say anything of you?»

You/he/she has simply answered «For today no, I like too much to listen to you.»

When we have lifted thinking there that the others to the base camp could wait us to leave the beach, I was happy to have found the courage to introduce me without any type of screen. In this way, if the is liked, her is be liked for what I was, with all the limits and the paranoias. I have given her two pacches on the bottom covered with sand with the excuse to get away the stain, she has looked me had a good time. I have told her «From the, at least this deadly erotic approach grant him/it to me!»

You has laughed at taste and the usual pat has released me, beautiful I toast to say the truth, on the shoulder: the third one.

Rejoined to the group, we have waited that Chicken, David and Julia returned from the nth turn of imboscamento. Directly in three.

Has Mark wakened up Gianca that I reconcile you/he/she has asked «you have ended?» as if of fact the whole evening didn't concern him/it.

Alice and I have exchanged the number of jail cell there and I have pushed even to tell her «not to wait you for messages until we don't reenter from the trip!»

It was the truth, it didn't suit me to pass the rest of the vacation smanettando as a teen-ager on the keys of the telephone. Has you with the usual tempering responded «But who spins yourself?»

Then you/he/she has embraced me as if it were happy to have me known indeed.

It was about to dawn and every object, every body, every expression, repurchased the lost brightness during the night. We have not even seen him the sun to rise, as usual. Of every time that has been in the beach to see the dawn, the dawn in narrow sense I will have seen once her.

The girls lodged to few meters from the beach, Mark you/he/she has asked if they wanted to be accompanied, Julia has answered that not us n'era need.

Before we separated there, Sarah has invited us in the beach for the following day. Julia has reminded her that we were not able, because the next day we would have departed. To that point we are greeted with affection there and we have returned to the area of standstill.

Has chicken in the journey asked me «Swept?»

I have answered «No. However have taken three pizzas on the shoulder! It will come me the livid one!»

David has sigh «Ah Giulia, one of the best pompinis of my life.»

It is Chicken you/he/she has added satisfied «How much you are right!»

True or less he/she will never be known him/it, but the two anchor today they sustain to have participated in an exaggerated triangle that evening. If it were true... to the face of the Sea pocket!

Before I already fell asleep me placid in the cabin of the saturated blue camper of carbonic anhydride, a sms you/he/she has arrived to me:

"I hoped for ditches this way. Thanks. Don't answer not me until return! Night I diminish!"

I have put away the telephone and I have felt really well.

The day later, toward the three of the afternoon, we have departed to the time of the coast romagnola.

There was a splendid sun when we have put to the shoulders the white town and his/her lighthouse there. I Mark you/he/she has not pretended any information on Alice and on how much success. Chicken and David instead they asked still for what motive I/you had not tried to conclude. Gianca, in his/her world, he/she read with the legs cross model Buddhist santone a critique on a specialized magazine of video games.

I have observed benevolent «You yes that you are all right!»

«You go to cagare fool!» you/he/she has affectionately answered.

In the camper that reached the links for roads to more passages, played again the intense notes of" I have learned to dream" of the Negritas and the satisfaction for the found again harmony.

### 4. Rimini (to be precise is always Cesenatico!)

The coast romagnola is for a long time it covers her/it of obligation for the vacations of different generations of young Italians.

I have never known one whom said" there has never been." He is not able, it socially is not acceptable to never have marked visit in coast. At least I believe.

According to the topography of commune use, to go to coast means to sojourn more or less in one of the inclusive communes between Ferrara and Gabicce. For Chicken, that has an extremely licentious vision of the Italian geography, the coast is some greatest. It sustains in fact that the communes of Bibione, Abano Terme and even they were In force is placed, without shade of doubt, in the province of Cesena.

The coast has become the shrine of the juvenile vacations for dark motives.

Of sure not for the sea, or better, that expanse of brackish water, suspiciously warm, brodosa and flood water, that the holidayers call sea.

The sea in Romagna is thus composed: in surface, the most mastodontic oily stain of every place of the planet, composed from any type of tanning not soluble that has been entering commerce for the sixties to today.

In depth (60 cms at the most up to the breakwaters), the natural file of the dna of almost all the Italian population. The tallest concentration of pee dissolved in present water on the earth.

Despite this, even if you/he/she could be difficult to believe him/it, I adore Romagna.

According to my personal considerations the young people absolutely, love to sojourn in coast for sense of affiliation. It is not the multiplicity of services, hotels, proposed of diversion to make Romagna destination prince of the vacations. It is the perception of possession of the territory the feeling to be with everything the people of the vacations inside an immense pleasant and well equipped condominium. All united by an only common purpose: to have a good time him without reservedness.

This perlomeno had been the mission of our preceding vacations.

In Romagna we frequently went there to the occasional summer bridges (2 June and Ferragosto) and we had sojourned well twice there for in vacations officialer. The first time we had departed to the time in Rimini completely unorganized. I obviously Mark you/he/she had twisted the nose seeing the lack of points of reference because it was not from him to depart without a reserved hotel and without the palest idea of the typology of vacation that we would have been able to spend. In tall season we had looked for an economic lodging for all Rimini. I disappointed, we had surrendered to the pressure of David that insisted for looking for to Cesenatico, sustaining that we would be found there there better.

David to Cesenatico suited us from small, when he anchors his they were together and his/her father was alive.

From that vacation in then, when you/they had asked me «Where you go on vacation?» I would always have answered «Á. Rimini!», even if in truth we had found more Cesenatico to measure of our expectations and of done we returned there always.

Idea to depart from Leuca at three o'clock in the afternoon had been David's.

«Making the intelligent departure avoid the whole traffic! This way for the ten in the evening at the most we are to Cesenatico and we also do in time to enjoy us the night!»

Personally I had found her a stupid proposal because to depart to an intermediary schedule burned us one afternoon of sea in Puglia and it made us lose an evening in Coast. However, not being the driver of the camper and not wanting to establish other controversies with David, I/you/they have been silent of it.

At 19.00 o'clock we were still bottled to Cerignola, the famous intelligent departure was revealed an exaggerated package and David, slightly bothered to the steering wheel, it traveled to a middle speed of 16 kms an hour and of 12 swearwords to the minute. I have not clearly raged.

Hand by hand that it attended her some trip they dilated him, I have noticed Gianca and Chicken to assume an attitude sospettabile. It is true that they confabulated together often and I would not have had motive to doubt of their personal discussions. They formed indeed" the strange coppia"dei films, were the modern rivisitazione of Stanlio and Ollio or of the cat and the fox in the cartoon of Pinocchio.

However you/they had put on apart in the back of the camper in an eccentric way. Gianca communicated to low voice with Chicken continually looking at me and the others, as if it worried him about to defend a secret. It was not a real dialogue, he/she spoke alone Gianca and the few spezzonis of sentence that have succeeded in gathering seemed the description of a plan on to do something and on to behave him in a certain way and on to say of the determine things and on not to say of it of the others.

I have not absolutely understood of thing him it treated, after all it was not the first time that the two big babies observed to tell him her in that way; only it made me smile the tension at the expressions of Gianca that it recommended him serious and the safety on the face of Chicken that frowned it assured him/it to have understood everything nodding with the head. I don't have however gives more than so much weight to their odd imaginations: from how much well I knew them, I would not have marveled if behind that mystery there had been a crazy person discourse on alien or houses spiritate. In every case then I had in mind everything other, I thought to Alice.

Although you/they were spent only few times by our meeting, my thoughts on her they quickly began to fall through him. Particularly I already felt a notable difficulty to physically imagine her/it. Often happens me to forget the physiognomy of the people and has inevitably happened with that person so able to arouse an unbelievable understood folgorante.

I tried to reconstruct me her in the head reliving the words that you/he/she had told me, the looks that you/he/she had given me the feelings that you/he/she had provoked me. I didn't succeed there. It was as to see a film already seen but imperceptibly transformed and with enough perfidy to modify its sense. I thought to Alice while he/she was speaking to me in the beach of the idiocy of the roles and the impositions in the relationships, but it was not the same Alice, it changed. While I was striving me to exactly recover that Alice, she assumed deformed lines and suddenly while he/she was speaking an expression of identical disappointment to that of Chiara it came her when we were left there, or I saw her nose to change himself/herself/themselves up to become identical to that perfect of Susan, and it still assumed arrogant layings as FdP or it performed rapid and nervous gestures as those of my mother.

You/he/she will have been for that eccentric transmutation, but I had already begun to consider Alice under a different light, reorganizing our meeting, making drastic hypothesis on the possibilities to establish with her a satisfactory relationship, analyzing the scarce probabilities that Alice was so extraordinary indeed as you/he/she was seemed me.

In practice, I was absorbed again in the whirling waltz of the paranoias.

David has saved me, without doing he waits for him/it.

«But do you want to end her/it to make you mental saws or no? At least was swept her/it to you! That would have been a good motive to consider us!»

Resurfaces of release as a diver to short of oxygen that punctures disorientated the surface of the water.

Mark, has changed luckily, completely trajectory.

«But do you realize that other? To sustain that the masturbation is betrayal, absurd. But who is so ignorant to marry himself/herself/themselves one as that? Poor coglione!»

«Mark that shoots to zero on someone? This indeed I didn't wait me for him! Then also Mr. Mark, love for everybody, tolerance for every living being, is able of to criticize someone» you/he/she has observed David.

«Certain!» Mark has answered simply.

It often happened that someone thought that Mark was a person of little temperament. It came easy to whom didn't know well it to confuse the kindness of his/her positions and the softness of his/her ideas with the absence of stable points, the insufficiency of character.

In reality, if I can say something with complete infallibility it is that Mark of character has always had to sell of it.

Only it didn't try to change to all the costs the opinions of the people, especially when it didn't have the right of it. I Mark you/he/she has never given a suggestion feeling himself/herself/itself on a privileged base: rather, if consulted, he/she offered disinterested opinions and never definitive.

You/he/she has never tried to convince someone, he/she invited more easily the people to have greater mental fluidity. That that has always had him. I Mark you/he/she is not castled only never on his/her own ideas because they were his. You/he/she has always been ready to twist anything if you/he/she had found a best solution, also when to offer him her had been someone very away from him.

Even when you/he/she had come from me to move the closet. You/he/she had spoken of Chiara and of us as couple to very unbalanced way, but you/he/she had done him with clean sincerity, from friend, as if it had the certainty to have to intervene. That has perhaps been the only time when Mark has not wanted to admit other roads and, on the camper that slipped slow toward Cesenatico, I have recognized completely as you/he/she had totally been right.

For the rest, to speak among friends of that crazy that imposes to his/her man not to masturbate was only a way to avoid that we spoke of Alice.

In every case I have specified to angry David «However I was not thinking about her!»

He has responded «Sì, as no!» Then you/he/she has inserted the arrow to turn in the Truck stop adding «Á. this point let's eat us something, let's stop us, knows much, to go with this footstep.»

«No! I didn't think about her!» I have confirmed me.

«It swears!»

«I swear!» I have repeated, putting an end to the stupid squabble from children.

While we were going down from the camper with the legs sudaticce and stiff to stir, Chicken is placed side by side and, a furbone feeling himself/herself/itself, you/he/she has asked me:

«Yet had your classical mental pippa face! But excuse, if you didn't think about that... to whom thought? Did you think about Chiara true?»

«No!»

«And to whom thought?»

«To your mother! How much it misses me!»

«But vaffanculo coglione!» You/he/she has started laughing and, oddly, a cigarette has scrounged me.

Disembarked by the camper and ended to smoke, we were about to enter the area of standstill where we would have dined when Gianca has made the most complicated things.

«I don't understand!» you/he/she has immediately pronounced polemic. «I don't understand because we should dine in the truck stop. Does Cazzo, have the camper, do we have the food, whether to throw money in cazzo of sandwiches of the truck stop?»

«It looks that you can also eat yourself a salad» David has answered him, that clearly slanted for the supper in the restaurant.

In effects it was not a restaurant. It was the classical Truck stop prefabricated type enormous container, air conditioned style bora in Trieste, sticky floors of cola, soda and inverted orangeade. The area of standstill motorway standard in short. Also as it regarded the sandwiches, he was not able certain to deny Gianca.

That with the cutlet for example, that I hate him/it.

It happens me to pick him/it up when I have really hunger and I don't succeed in satiating me with a" Camogli" or a" Icaro." The cutlet of autochtonous highway IGP is already born cutlet. In the sense that is in the state of beefsteak from so so much time that by now you/he/she has lost every native memory of the animal that was. It has the peculiar characteristic to be always cold to the inside, sopratutto in comparison to the temperature of the bread with which you/he/she is served. So much cold inside and warm out of to let to the consumer that the panatura contains asbestos traces to suppose or however of other material termoisolanti.

Despite the problems related to the thermal matters, the cutlet goes down as nothing, because about fact doesn't know of a blessed cazzo. That is he/she doesn't know about anything, when you/he/she is swallowed, but it doesn't miss to reappear with his/her reality taste, in the form of I leak gaseous malodorous denominated" belch", for different times from his/her assumption. Of the times for different days.

Cutlet apart, from when David had confided me that you/he/she would have departed for Australia, I supported pre-emptive his/her initiatives.

«But yes, that rubs us! Let's eat a sandwich in Truck stop or a salad or a cappuccino or a Toblerone! It is not whether to dine in a cafe makes him this great sin toward the patrimony!» I have said.

«Is not matter of money! Be the principle! Cazzo, has our stuff, our table, our spaces and we have to go to insert us inside there, to queue for this and for that. I don't come there! » you/he/she has beaten Gianca by now impuntato.

Gianca was this way. Always so absorbed in his/her own world, it was able of astute tirar on important matters, to forgive discourtesies or wickedness, but if it turned him, if it got stubborn him on the principle, they were bitter cazzi.

Mark has tried to calm down him/it.

«From the Gians, let's not do not a matter of state of it, it deals with a sandwich and of a beer. They are ten European that can be spent.»

Even Mark was easy-going, him that on the money not sgarrava almost never. Yet Gianca has not leastly released the taking.

«Is not for money! But as cazzo I owe you him to say? Goings you, I eat something here!»

To this point, we would be been able to enter us, leaving the mutineer of the group to the destiny of a solitary supper, but we have not done him.

I believe that the particular attitude that has made us special as friends and as group has been that to always face the matters from different perspectives. Also in the cazzates, sopratutto in the cazzates or in the things that head every day, the union of a group of friends defends facing the disputes and looking for points of accord.

It will seem banal but if we had entered the truck stop without Gianca, dining, someone would have condemned the slowness and the rigidity and the intolerance of it. The same Gianca, alone in the camper, without doubt you/he/she would have brooded a small grudge toward of us.

You/he/she would be been able to end up remembering himself/herself/themselves to story" the time when I am not involved even as lui"e to come even to exchange fierce accusations. All for a sandwich in vacation.

Perhaps it is not anything of what, perhaps it won't be this the essence on which it founds him a friendship, but according to it is me him; also.

Multiplying a small misunderstanding for innumerable marginal episodes, an enormous distance it is gotten among the people. I am convinced of it, and not only because it is an equation reasoned by Mark.

You/he/she has been Chicken, the big Chicken to resolve everything.

You/he/she has done him with a proposal that could come only from him.

Chicken had gotten used to go out of the shops hiding something, you/he/she has proposed that we did the exact contrary.

To the table of the truck stop: us five, three frozen beers, two Coke, an accursed cutlet (I was hungry), two Icaros and two sandwiches wurstel-mayonnaise-salad, wound in absorbent paper by table.

That geniaccios of Chicken you/he/she had prepared them, wrapped, and introduced in the restaurant hiding them to him under the shirt. Absurd, but functional.

Gianca has returned placid chewing his/her sandwich and so we have dined together everybody and leaves again in the traffic that was finally spaced out.

Mark has bought again the accursed Swiss candy to the grasses.

Leaving again from that point, the coast Romagnola didn't not at all seem me distant.

We are gone out of Rimini North at 2.22 o'clock, after an endless trip of suffering, belches of cutlet and beer and as much, too, boredom. So out schedule for everything, the search of the usual isolated zone has been inevitable whether to park the camper and to spend the night. I have looked at the telephone before putting to sleep me, between a thing and the other one you/they were done the 3.30 of the morning; dopodiché has collapsed in the sleep.

I/you/they have wakened up by the frightening country house produced by Gianca that it shouted as a crazy person while he uprooted.

«Wakes up! Let's have to bring the camper to the camping! Dead of sleep you have all of your cazzo of life to sleep, wakened up!»

To the nine of the morning they were all standing ones, all beautiful awake and already gnaw you for the new day. All except me.

It was awake David, despite you/he/she had driven for the whole run, but it was not a novelty.

David woke up soon always, its nervous nature made him consider the sleep a superfluous luxury, the uncomfortable one I detach between a day and the other and it was not certain to be marveled him that pits so pimpante after the few times of sleep.

It was awake Mark, to the telephone with Simona. I have understood that you/he/she was talking to her because it held the jail cell with a particular care, almost with affection. You/he/she was making sure himself/herself/itself of the conditions of his/her future wife as well as future mother of his/her child. It did her continuous questions but the same discreet. You/he/she has asked her of possible signs of discomfort and of as it felt him about spending the nights without him. You/he/she has also told her «Love not to worry you I return soon!» Not even pits to the front. To end has started to beg himself/herself/themselves on every thing with all of his/her benevolent pedantry.

Mark and David you wake up after five scarce hours of rest they didn't absolutely arouse clamor, Chicken and Gianca yes.

Chicken nervously patrolled every angle of the cabin looking for a blue shirt that" I was sure to have put her/it there!" without the" there" in matter, it covered a defined concrete space.

You/he/she has lifted even my sheet in the attempt to find her/it. Vexed by the invasion I have reproached him. «But what cazzo do you do? At all I put me your shirts as pajamas!»

«From the Paul, that that I put on Saturdays evening, that that you say that I seem a railroader» scoordinato has responded and seriously anxious.

I have asked then him to thing it served him the blue shirt from railroader to the nine of the morning, but Gianca is inserted as a housewife and you/he/she has admonished to make me my cazzis and to give me a movement to lift me.

Gianca I sharpen. Gianca was clearly the absolute anomaly of the scenery as the discordant image that jumps to the eye for first in the cartoons to comparison in the magazines of puzzle. When he went to dance on Saturdays evening and he did late even, Gianca you didn't see later it up to the four of the day again and when it arrived then it was as inadequate and slow as a" Commodore 64" in the era of Internet.

That day had suddenly become early-morning and efficient, so much to afford himself/herself/themselves to impart orders of coordination to everybody.

«Mark, how much does miss you? David, gas-oil we have of it? Chicken, stop that cazzo of shirt to look for her/it, will put another of it! Paul, but do you want to move you or no?»

«Oh an instant! Cazzo you have everybody? Are we in vacations or to military?» I have mumbled, then I have surrendered and I have gotten ready.

The camping we knew him/it, the market whether to also supply us for the remaining days, the baretto to have lunch after having also systematized mean and dispensation. Cesenatico there was note in everything and for everything, there was no great space for the novelties and after all it went very well this way.

In the gross the vacation, the goodbye to the bachelorhood of Mark, had given as already we could hope; by now it dealt with undertaking the passage of deceleration.

I had had an amazing meeting, Mark had given his/her last kiss without thoughts, David you/he/she had placed his/her beautiful heading and with Chicken you/he/she had shared the graces of his/her/their cousin porca of Alice.

Alone Gianca had remained some out of the hits of life, but in effects you/he/she had always gone so in past and the thing had never upset him/it particularly. It was not one that made him great expectations and to be I befriend him you/he/she had taught me not to do me of it for him.

Only that was incomprehensibly uneasy and nervous. It had been being him/it for the first morning, in a clear way, unequivocal. To midday you/he/she had already smoked half packet of cigarettes and it continued to warn Chicken to give him a serious and reliable attitude.

Chicken, his/her goodness, to lunch you/he/she has had a glint of intellectual autonomy and to Gianca that summoned him not to eat heavy you/he/she has answered:

«Gian, but do you want to end her/it!? Minchia seems my mother! Calm that am ready, everything will be all right!»

«Everything well thing? Ready for thing?» I have asked incuriosito.

«It is not said. Mark knows however it» Gianca has responded sneering malefic.

I have stared then at Mark to try to understand, but he is limited to make spallucce and you/he/she has declared:

«Not to ask me nothing because I cannot say anything!»

«But is thing, the vacation of the secret? Do you end her or no with all these mysteries?» I have beaten pervaded by a sense of exclusion.

«Secret of thing?» you/he/she has already summoned furious David in the case I/you could betray his/her trust.

«We allow to lose!» I have said and I have lowered the tones not to create new clashes.

In the afternoon we have been in the beach.

You/he/she has been between a bath and him anything else other than I have begun to perceive the atmosphere of end August. It is a particular thing, even if I believe that understands to everybody to realize that the summer is ending. They realized of sure the Righeiras years ago and since then this phase of the year has an only sonorous column.

The end in a summer you gather her/it on the faces of the people, in the melancholy eyes of whom loads the valiges of the return in auto, in the sulky mugugnis of his/her/their children that don't want to return to school.

There are tangible signs of the passage: the shortest days, the rains that last to the television, the manifestos and the broadcast promotions of some party of end summer more than a storm, the publicities of diaries, case box and briefcases in such the disco.

It passed note the announcement of some party of end summer in the loudspeakers of the beach of Cesenatico when I have realized that the summer was ending.

For a long time that period, besides being the moment of the year in which I analyzed with greater ferocity my dissatisfaction, it was the period of the promises and the intentions.

Some as they do some to New Year's eve: to me it happened in summer.

I swore that with the year to come I would have been more aware, busier, more concrete, more calm, happier.

I did him/it since when I frequented the first High school, and in the years an useless and ansiogena you/he/she had become habit. Beginnings promising you that you will be a more conscientious student and you find again yourself after years to tell you that you will be able of to give a best cut to your life and that you will know how to earn you the calm that it misses you.

To every way, in my case you/he/she has always been a lie that lasted few: after a mesetto of the usual routine, I again found me too absorbed in the life to be able to concretely operate us.

You postponed later all a year, to another end summer and to other non maintainable promises.

That end in summer however it was different.

It is true that the things seem to never change but in reality they always do him/it, only that do him/it with the imperceptible slowness of the time, the enough calm not to disturb.

It was everything different.

From there to one month I would have had my best friend that got married him and it became father, another would have emigrated in Australia, moreover stability would be missed even though boring of the relationship with Chiara and not even the regular cruel escape of the meetings with Susan.

To the usual one, I have tried to realize plain on as to concretely face the upcoming changes and on whether to put the hands to improve me the life. It came out from there the nth trash of thoughts abstract and little profits, the usual pile of projects and intentions destined to be pure theory.

Very better to race in water with Chicken and Gianca to bathe the head overheated by the sun.

In water Chicken is incapable to contain his/her own urine.

I am absolutely some that, if it also tried us, he/she would not succeed in not pissing once absorbed up to the navel. It is systematic, if it enters water ten times in one afternoon, piss ten times. I would not tell him/it if at least it avoided to make me partecipe every time but Chicken besides being a piscione seriale, it is also one repugnant chronic. It does her when it is nearbyer you and when lead you wait for him/it. He/she urinates the more possible next to the subject target, looks then at it had a good time and exclaims with satisfaction «I am pissing You I set!»

Has you/he/she been in water there, while it was happily urinating me to ten centimeters of distance that have asked him «Thing is plotting you and the other crazy person?»

He has responded smiling «An instant, is pissing!» Then you/he/she is done serious and you/he/she has taken back «Paul, indeed, not to ask me void. I have promised to Gianca that I would not have said anything!»

«But stop her/it!»

«No, indeed I am not able. And you discover tonight however then it, also because if the things are all right it is big stuff!»

«At least mention me something! What cazzo is, it seems that we don't entrust there more one of the other!»

«It is not for trust, it is that Gianca cares quite a lot, you know him/it that it is scarramantico.»

«Scaramantico.»

«Yes, vabbè, is not able however!»

«All with is what of the silence for scaramanzia! And however he to Mark has told him!»

«Everybody who? To Mark you/he/she has told him because it had to tell him him. It needed a technical opinion.»

To that point curiosity had become divorante.

«Because, cannot I give him/it a technical opinion?»

«No! An opinion yes, technical no!»

«And because?»

«Because... stop you give her/it that it feels it!»

«But from the! Don't you see him/it that you/he/she is already lost in his/her planet?»

In effects Gianca could not feel us. Mask and flaming fins, crossed the dangerous 60 cms of turbid water of the coast, aiming winning to the artificial breakwaters. You/he/she had not been my friend, I would have denied in front of whoever to know that man.

«However not to say anything... it is a proposal of job»

Chicken really it didn't make her/it to hold a secret.

«Of job?»

«Of job!»

«And that job? Of whom? His/her?»

«We have an appointment for an appetizer tonight!»

«You have? For an appetizer?»

«Enough! I don't say other!»

A cinquina of minutes would have been enough for me to contaminate again Chicken. You/he/she had not been that David and Mark had decided to reach launching us him as kamikaze in the low waters of that beach, I am sure that I would have snatched what I wanted to know. But that two and Chicken have arrived you/he/she is subsequently castled. Ten minutes later, when Gianca has returned from his/her reckless consignment howling conceited to have seen the mussels on the rock-cliffs, Chicken and the details of the strange matter they were by now unapproachable.

Returned from the beach, Gianca has pretended to take the shower for first.

I have attentively observed him when, after having washed him for mezz'ora, you/he/she has begun to comb himself/herself/themselves.

It had a he/she ever takes care of sight in him in to make up himself/herself/themselves and it has me even asked to be able to use the cream face for which so much me sbeffeggiava.

On the gels' wrappings for hair there is usually the education: to apply a walnut of product on the hands and to model to like the hair style.

Gianca has put on in hand yes a walnut of product but a walnut of coconut.

You/he/she has begun to awkwardly comb himself/herself/themselves following the wrong principle for which more gels you put, hair is better you. Stuff from twelve year-old.

You/he/she has worn a white shirt with blue thin lines that you/he/she will have been ten years old.

Have I told him «Cazzo you have to do? The first communion?»

Has he asked desolate «I am badly?»

It has me so moved to see him/it vulnerability that I have lent him my impeccable black shirt.

Observing as much embarrassed devotion in to prepare I have been hypothesized that Gianca owed in reality to meet a woman an imaginary dame of whom I didn't know. Yet Chicken could not have me depistato, it was too much simpleton to do him/it.

I have asked to Gianca:

«But this appetizer with whom have to do him/it?»

«With a person that can change us the life.»

«To change us?»

«Not to you!»

«And to whom?»

«Made your cazzis!»

Gianca had returned surly as always and with my shirt I wear it seemed even more believable.

To that point we are gone out of the camping, afoot.

The cafe destined to the meeting that could change the life of Gianca was a little more ahead situated of the" Pirellone."

It will seem strange to find the" Pirellone" to Cesenatico, but there is. Obviously it is not that he treats really of the great skyscraper in Milan: it is immoderately a tall building, almost a skyscraper, to few meters from the beach. A work so in harmony with the territorial development to visually be resulted appagante how much a pair of dancing pink sugared almond put on by a Sardinian shepherd novantenne.

We have affectionately rechristened him" Pirellone" and, also being an architectural monster, it is a good point of reference: he/she is seen by kilometers.

Entered the place, Gianca and Chicken they are looked around at the search of a family face. Have not you/they immediately found him, but have not I done in time to order a Negroni that a man with the face from absolute idiot you/he/she has drawn near to us asking without turning particularly to any «Giancarlo?»

«Yes! Alvaro! I had not recognized you excuse. Hi!» you/he/she has answered excited Gianca.

Don't all the Alvaros of the world want of it, but as a parent Alvaro can call his/her own child?

Alvaro was a little fellow than at least 35 years, dressed worse of the infantryman of spites, disarming glasses, face from" Oscar the Supertelegattone" and, to how much it seemed, it was also the man that would have changed the destiny of Gianca and Chicken.

I have tried instantly a strong sense of dismay united to the total disapproval for the ideas of Gianca that, for the occasion and to gratify the sig. Alvaro of gel, was massacred for hair and my black shirt was rubbed also.

Alvaro has been very kind in to present himself/herself/themselves to everybody, it had a clear accent romagnolo and it knew well the place and the owner because, you hardly finish the presentations, the barkeeper turns to telling him «Oh Andrew, marks everything to me, I beg me!»

Until you/he/she has been to the table with us, Alvaro you/he/she is described with serene availability. You/he/she has told to be out eternally a student course of the faculty of medicine and surgery in Bologna; you/he/she has added to have suffered the university career in how much imposes him from his/her/their father (illustrious cardiologist); you/he/she has affirmed to be tired to do the life of the child of dad and to want to invest in his/her own future.

In his to speak was evident as it was strange as I individualize and, also admitting that its declarations were truthful, Alvaro resembled more to a genius, mouse of library, sociopatico, that to a rich descendant child and nephew of hospital chief physician.

When you/he/she has revealed to have known Gianca on internet I have thought badly.

When you/he/she has specified to have him/it known playing to on-line Risiko I have held back the tears to laugh.

When you/he/she has acknowledged not to appreciate too much the new generation of Japanese fumettisti, I have realized something.

«By the way, at the end it arrives to me the original laser sword of the film, but not as that of Luke... have succeeded in having that of Darth Vader! Then I tell you however!» you/he/she has confided Alvaro to Gianca, as if it knew for a long time it and they were intimate bosom friend of long date.

Then you/he/she has added «Now however we speak of that thing!»

Gianca has invited Alvaro to move himself/herself/themselves on another table, also inviting Chicken and Mark.

Oddly you/he/she is excused with me and David.

«Better not being too many, Mark serves because you/he/she helps me to understand better certain things!» you/he/she has specified before leaving himself/herself/themselves leaving me and the good alone Zinzi on the anonymous any tavolino of cafes to look us incredulous.

There was too much the music tall and too middle people because we could understand what you/they were saying the companions of snacks three distant tables from us. Considering as you/he/she had escaped me three friends on four, I have profited some generosity of Alvaro - Supertelegattone and I am shot three Negronis to I gobble up.

David after a mezz'oretta, in evident Vodka overdose - energy drink, has started to prey smaniare to the nervous tension.

«But do you understand there something?»

«To me they seem all rincoglionitis!»

«What cazzo he will be saying? But then who this fool is? And does thing enter it with Gianca?A thing they serve that sheets on the table? Is it Mark that combines?»

«David, is useless that you ask me explanations. I know how much you! I can agree with only you and to tell you that this whole situation is absurd.»

«Is not that I ask you explanations, is that I want to understand! Immediately don't feel yourself taut in mean!»

«I don't feel me taut in mean! Rather, now that I think it, eccome if I feel me taut in mean! That is we take everything one trip without knowing, that Gianca already has an appointment for his/her cazzis, then ago everything the mysterious and it excludes me completely...»

«It excludes us!»

«Yes, vabbè, excludes us. However at the end it releases us as two fools to this cazzo of insipid tavolino here, without knowing nothing, without apologizing without even not trying to make up for. Beautiful friend of the cazzo!»

«Has asked excuses! Also because if it didn't do him/it I released him a pizza in front of him and to the other fool. Two pizzas to coso there, Arnaldo...»

«Alvaro.»

«How cazzo calls calls! That fool I packaged him/it to him in front of the eyes!»

David was already one irritable of his: from drunk you/he/she was something unbearable. It is not that it really became I win, David was very more dangerous from shiny to want to see, but from tipsy you/he/she became heavy and polemic from fear. It magnified everything, it threatened with doing this and that, to break every thing, to give fists to Guy and kicks to Caio, to be able to capsize the whole peninsula if you/he/she had wanted him. I knew very well that you/he/she would not have moved a finger.

«Even it is a joke» I have said laughing us on.

«Joke a cazzo, I go there!» you/he/she has answered hard, then you/he/she has gotten up of release to reach the posting where they were sat the others.

I have followed by instinct him and we have approached fast there to the tavolino, covered by the too people that stirred, they spoke, they smiled and they gesticulated among them drinking cocktail and eating fruit. Reached the table, has struck by lightning us the smile of Chicken that, placed the blue biro used for signing who knows thing, has exclaimed satisfied «Done! Have ended! Have succeeded! The negotiation is closed!»

Neither me, neither David, has commented. I have simply assisted bewildered and made suspicious to the regards of Alvaro that, paid the account with credit card, you/he/she is quickly defile.

Gianca has grabbed me for an arm and you/he/she has exulted.

«Come! Now you can see him/it!»

And together with Mark and Chicken that dragged David by now drunk, Gianca has conducted us up to two more inside crossroads of the waterfront, until in front of a shop with the lowered shutters.

Arrivals has shouted «Questacazzodiputtanalamiseriadiserrandaènostra! Everything is ours! We have the shop!» for then to embrace Chicken and Mark, rejoicing at least how much that famous evening of July 9 th 2006.

David and I looked incredulous.

A few minutes that you/they calmed down have attended and it has taken different attempts to soothe the three overwhelming enthusiasm that they jumped, the braccias were thrown to the neck, they shouted and they improvised unlikely choirs from stadium. At the end I have tried to definitely understand thing had happened.

Gianca was too excited, it smoked, it trembled, he/she didn't succeed in explaining what practically you/they had combined; Chicken was an incomprehensible individual in a normal context, to imagine at that time himself/herself/themselves; the only possible interlocutor was Mark.

«Tell me that I have understood badly!»

«Boh, doesn't know him/it what you have understood, there is not a lot however to discuss: Gianca, Chicken and their friend Alvaros are the future owners of Fantasy world!»

I/you/they have remained of ice, completely disorientated.

You/he/she has been again as to grow in a second, as had happened when Mark had given the news of his/her imminent paternity, as you/he/she was riaccaduto with David that confided me to depart for Australia, only that, this time, to the amazement derived by the unexpected announcement a slow but increasing hot tempered incomprehension you/he/she is added.

I could not believe us.

I have listened to Mark to tell the whole history of Gianca that had known Alvaro on internet. In the months, frequenting himself/herself/itself, you/they were found again in the passion for the world fantasy. Mark has defined Alvaro" a dissatisfied well-off youth but determined", I don't know on what bases. It is sure what one afternoon of the month of July just passed the presumed well-off dissatisfied had proposed to Gianca to enter a project that he/she had been brooding for years: to open a shop to theme fantasy. Gianca had talked for a long time to Mark of it before deciding him. For the matters as these, Mark represented the good one (and the only one) analyst that we knew, the solo able to give a serious and reasonable opinion. The same Mark had found the conditions of excellent Alvaro, also doubting some fact that a person was prepared to surrender so much to a stranger. Gianca, to the doubtfulness of Mark, you/he/she had answered sustaining how much, in effects, Alvaro was everything anything else other than a stranger. Sure that the common passions and the same objectives were an enough adhesive to justify the proposal, for direct Gianca had not hesitated to propose to also insert Chicken in the bargain and Alvaro, without not even knowing him/it, you/he/she had accepted.

To the table of that cafes, Gianca, Chicken and Alvaro you/they had signed under the vigilant eye of Mark the constitution of the society Fantasy world S.R.L. In the document, Alvaro hocked him to entirely sustain the expenses of lease of the point sale and to participate for a quota of 1/3 in the purchase of everything how much, I furnish inclusive. Gianca and Chicken, besides investing besides the quite a lot money of their quota, of the direct management of the activity you/they would be occupied working in the shop, considered the impossibility of Alvaro because of bogs him university career.

«What to say?» I have exclaimed bewildered turning to Mark, that had finished the notification.

«What you say?» curious Chicken has asked me to understand as I thought her/it.

«I say that you are really of the coglionis!» I have answered lifting the voice.

I could not support anything of that that had done.

«Now I want that attentively follow me! This is the biggest cazzata that have ever seen you do! Indeed I cannot conceive that also you Mark has encouraged a similar suicide. Have you made to also wrap you? Or were you too taken with your matters to be really honest with these two idiots?»

«But because it excuses?» you/he/she has asked Chicken in front of the guiltless eyes of Mark, that it didn't understand. Gianca seemed he/she didn't even want to know my point of view.

«Indeed you believe that in the life can be lived selling figurines of magicians and elves? No, but do you realize the money that you us will take for this cazzata? And the job? And your families? You release everything to go to sell... what cazzo would you sell then? What cazzo does he/she sell him in a shop fantasy? To Cesenatico then I say! For three months in summer even someone buys you her your trifles and the rest of the year? To doctor Alvaro, done admit that that goat becomes never it, he cares cazzo of it? Does it have the full belly, does thing have to lose? Certain people can afford to fall because always falls standing! But you? Jump without even not having the legs! And if it were even a fraud? People don't give anything! Only the idiots how you you/they could fall in a trap of the kind!»

I was furious and indeed I thought all those things.

I was angry with Chicken to be so stupid to be believed in the fables and not to have a minimum of critical sense, with Gianca to so obtusely be convinced of his/her own initiatives and to have involved Chicken but sopratutto I was furious and disappointed by Mark, that had not stopped them and rather you/he/she had been accomplice of it.

Gianca has tried not to be upset himself/herself/themselves, but he/she was seen that you/he/she had shaken.

«Cesenatico everything, has also a good number of inhabitants in winter and in the whole coast a kind of shop what we will open us doesn't exist. Then I can accept, that you don't appreciate the culture fantasy, but ours won't be neither a shop of figurines neither of trifles. We have the possibility to create a bookstore to theme and we will offer a range of unique opportunity in the zone: that cannot be found comic strips, raced of modelling recreational activity. The spaces are there, pure ideas, are able everything! We have what serves!»

«No beautiful my! Don't have a cazzo! You have the illusion of this cazzo of white shutter and a deprived writing, that among parenthesis a saw is not worth, of an idiot spoiled that it will probably rub you the few money that you have saved in all of your years of job!»

«Tomorrow morning they stipulate from the notary, Paul, stop her/it!» you/he/she has stopped me decided Mark.

«Of Sunday? And who would be this notary that receives of Domenica?» I have beaten prickly.

«It is a friend of the father of Alvaro and it has the hurry to receive us of Sunday!» you/he/she has specified Gianca

«Yes, as no! Now the notaries have hurry for you. Who knows that beautiful fake notary. Chicken, if that tells that it is notary, you day that you are engineer, believes certainly you!» I have continued disrespectful.

«I have checked the recording to the bulletin-board. Paul please end her/it.» you/he/she has abruptly said Mark.

«Paul I knew him/it that you would not have understood but, excuse if I tell you him, I am not able it stuffed nothing. By now it is definite and it doesn't count if you agree or less. It would be beautiful if I were happy for us, but we cannot force you» you/he/she has concluded Chicken.

«Correct!» you/he/she has added angry Gianca.

David, after the initial perplexity, you/he/she has slipped in the enthusiasm and you/he/she has exclaimed excited «I am happy indeed, cazzo!» Then, to put on in equal, you/he/she has disclosed the matter of Australia.

You/he/she has told everything with greater details in comparison to when you/he/she had anticipated him/it to me. You/he/she has explained some necessity to leave again with a new existence, spoken of the phone call that had received from the multinational that you/he/she had recruited him/it, described the amazement, then the fear, then the uncertainty, finally the steadiness in to accept a so meaningful change of horizons.

«And do you tell us him this way?» amazed Mark has exclaimed once ended the story.

«Would have liked to tell you him before! Precisely I was him/it to you to communicate an evening of June to the Wine cellar, but then a friend that has confided me to wait for a child and I/you/they has remained without words has arrived» you/he/she has beaten David laughing.

General incredulity has lasted only few second, swept by the voice of Chicken that has howled excited «Then all to supper and then to cause trouble! It is cazzo, for once I pay everything self!»

Before we moved there to the time of the restaurant I have stared at Gianca in the eyes. I have had the impression that scrutinized exactly me, it seemed that he/she read me. I have understood that to Gianca they were clear all how much my more hidden fears and, spiazzato, has not opened mouth anymore.

The restaurant was the usual one, ours of trust, that next to the I bring.

We had booked him with advance, because for a long time to go to Cesenatico meant to go to eat the fish in that restaurant. Altogether it was some dear, but the punishment was worth it indeed. The idea that the account Chicken paid then entirely it, it impressed me and it played me historical at least how much the fall of the wall in Berlin or the unloading on the Moon.

We have ordered the menù complete and different carafes of cold white wine. To see us there, was able not to also seem that the whole uproar had happened. Mark joked and laughed remembering the time when Gianca was fallen with the scooter on a cacca of dog; David has told dettagliatamente of when you/he/she was about to burn him completely the hands with the acetylene welding torch; Chicken has admitted to have masturbated after having seen the thighs of one that it went down from the car, while it was turning pacific in moped. I laughed, I spoke, I pricked joky David because he/she didn't know a cigarette butt of English and you/he/she had decided to live in Australia, I mocked playful Chicken and Gianca that deluded him to live selling statuettes. In general I pretended not to reflect on, how much, in the turn of few months, my life was irremediably transformed.

Between a wisecrack and the other, you end the linguines to the veracious clams, I/you/they are gone out to smoke: only.

I needed my loneliness, I heard the necessity to have to realize with calm. Unfortunately I was not me in one of the sanctuaries, where I sheltered me racing and even in the comfort separation of my small apartment. A lot of people walked to rapid footsteps in the street in front of the restaurant and seemed they had a whole non justified hurry, automatic; you/he/she seemed they had a whole certain destination and the thing you/he/she rather disturbed me.

Chicken has reached me after few second.

«From the, give me a cigarette!»

«Here it is! It seemed me strange!»

«On, not to break the coglionis that I also pay the supper!»

«Yes in fact, this is the most absurd of the whole vacation!» And I have passed him the packet.

Chicken has unthread the cigarette with slowness, you/he/she has turned on her, you/he/she has longly inhaled and you/he/she has said:

«I am sorry Paul! Seriously!»

«All it takes is speaking of it. So much doesn't serve to anything. And then you have been sorry of thing? You have not made at all me a blame!»

«I would have liked to prepare you. I would have liked to involve you, but Gianca feared that it was a glare and you/he/she has not wanted to compromise himself/herself/themselves. You know that it hates to be criticized. Then your judgment would have massacred him, it was afraid to lose the enthusiasm.»

«And from when it is that to Gianca they interest the judgments?»

«They interest him, eccomes interest him! Particularly yours!»

«Ah yes? But how much surprises in five days, from the Manus please...»

«Not to call me Manu cazzo!»

«Ok, but you not to say cazzate!»

«Instead I am sure that you know how much Gianca fears you!»

«You say that it fears me? In that sense?»

«I am sure of it! Gianca fears because he/she loves you. In the sense, because it knows you and he/she knows that also being complicated you are one who thinks continuosly about on the things. You are one who he doesn't allow to transport from the mass and sopratutto you are one who is spent for the one whom loves.»

«And does it fear me for this?»

«That is it is not that it fears you...»

«Chicken, certain times to understand what intend to say is binding indeed! Do you think that they sell him/it a dictionary Chicken. Italian / Italian - Chicken?»

«Vabbè, from the, in short you have understood what I wanted to say.»

«Perhaps, but if indeed he/she thinks her/it so he mistakes. Me sovrastima.»

«He doesn't mistake. I also think her me so!»

While Chicken offered me beautiful considerations, Gianca you/he/she has reached us punctual.

«As it is paranoia? Is you/he/she passed you?»

«Also you Gian, cries her/it an instant! I am already there me that I am trying to make to understand him» Chicken has admonished him/it.

«But yes, he/she knows him/it that joke, knows that I do so to prick him/it and that in reality I care for him as a brother!» you/he/she has corrected Gianca.

I still had numerous practical doubts on the choice that you/they had done, but more than everything I began to perceive the oppression to have remained back. I have recognized attends him, the inactivity, that that so much frightened me, infected me. At that time I believe, that I would have accepted to do any cazzatas if at least you/they had proposed me him. I would have been able to decide to launch me in whatever enterprise, to throw away everything, every thing, also not to feel I stay me. I would have been wrong.

«To make to understand me? Boys, but also you, are not that it conducts him with success an activity from one day to the other!» I have started over complaining bothered by the position of minority that I attributed me.

«You forget that me already job in a shop. I know how to sell!»

«Chicken, porca puttana, sells spigole and orate!»

«True! However I know her to sell!» you/he/she has beaten.

I have stoppato Chicken and his/her safety saying «is useless to talk to you two, are too dull! I hope not to see to fail you, but I have so many, too perplexities.»

To that point however, Gianca has pronounced the sentence that has definitely loosened my uncertainties. You/he/she has come out with one of the most exact things that has ever felt him say.

«You are perhaps right. We will perhaps fail and we will put again there some money, the job, the relationships. But for the rest? What do we have to lose?»

«What you have said. Don't seem me few to lose!»

«Paul, is marionettes, only marionettes. They care in chessman with this history of the crisis and with packages of rules that are worth only for us. They continually threaten us to care good, to care tame. Every day I go to burn me the bellows in that cazzos of establishment, they say that we are protected, that the safety on the job is guaranteed. They also told him/it for those that they have gotten sick and they are dead. The throat that burns for the acids of chlorine I feel her/it me however! Me it has taken twelve years to put away the enough money to be able to move me twelve years of poverty. I have not even changed that cazzo of car that is together with the spit. I want to try. Chicken has the liquidation of the pescheria and something will lend him/it to him his. After all, to wait that someone deigns him to grant to work you that so much to be able to live it is absurd. My family, mine and also those of Chicken were sceptic, they will be now still it, but you/they have understood that we are not throwing without criterion. You won't believe it but my father has supported even me. The friends then, beh Paul, if a person is you you/he/she befriends himself/herself/themselves faithful of you and she esteems yourself for what you are. The hours you/he/she can pass to insult you and to enjoy of your mortifications, but a friend esteems yourself. A reasonable doubt I grant him/it to you, to know that a dull idiot considers me less. I don't ask you to agree with me, I ask you to be I befriend me.»

For once I have not even had to think and qual'era has remembered the motive that had held together us so many years.

«I don't believe that you are an idiot and I are your friend!»

«I know him/it!» you/he/she has said Gianca with Chicken reconciled to his/her shoulders.

We have reentered in the restaurant.

The rest of the evening has not been memorable. Gianca and Chicken had to wake up soon him and to present himself/herself/themselves from the notary. Mark had promised to follow them and you/he/she pressed because we reentered to a decent schedule. You felt in duty to sleep enough once for the day to be shiny and reliable later. Mark wanted to give a real help, concrete. David, from his/her song, you/he/she had digested the energy position drink and practically he/she staggered for the sleep.

I play strength, at 2.00 o'clock we were industriously inserted in the uncomfortable bunks of our blue camper, united by the need of rest that such an exceptional day had dictated.

Me however I didn't succeed in closing eye.

It was obvious that I didn't succeed in sleeping, too much to think, and to believe to take sleep to light cuor after an evening as that was a chimera.

Don't succeed in falling asleep, when happens, it is accursedly always enervating. That evening in the camper, I would have liked to ask suggestion to Mr. Mario, to talk to Alice; even The would have accepted an opinion of my father. It was not possible, I was alone. I have longly thought continuosly about on the to make himself/herself/themselves, but without knowledge, so, to empty. When I have realized that all had drowsed I have imposed to sleep. Worse that worse.

I was repeated me in head «Now I fall asleep me... I do him/it... I have to do him/it... I have to sleep... there is tomorrow to get up soon... I remain rincoglionito the whole day if I don't sleep. Now Cazzo is enough... I sleep... I sleep... I sleep!»

Inevitably I was awake and the thing mostly fed the feeling to have available less and less time to succeed in resting, as a vicious circle to which I didn't know (not even to say him/it) to find a practical solution.

Moreover to that oppressive entanglement of thoughts overlaps were added to a little frightening dir. The lawyer's practice Black you/he/she had been authenticated? Had I closed the shutters with the lock anti-intrusion? When I had to bring the car to make the revision? Was Shirly Temple still long live or no?

I have gotten up definite to go out. Losing time with a cigarette would perhaps have lulled me, but in to move me in the infamous spaces of the wheels trap I have bumped the bed of Mark. He wakes up fifty-fifty and you/he/she has chewed «What you do?»

«I am not sleepy, I go to smoke, I immediately return» I have answered and he is as fainted tracing the head on the pillow.

The cigarette I have turned on her as soon as out of the camper, without not even going out of our platform, but after two mouthfuls of smoke I have taken to walk and shortly I/you/they have reached the waterfront.

Nothing was not seen by the entry of the baths. The sea, over I lay down her and the ombrellonis, were an indefinite black stain. Lights distant of fishing-boats to the horizon, null'altro. To the 3.00 of the morning, end August, even if it is Saturday evening you don't almost find anybody on the waterfront of Cesenatico. I have not pushed inside the beach, it didn't have then sense put there me to look at the dark water go and to come with patience. It was enough for me to be alone, and only I was.

Few second after being stops me have felt some light footsteps reach my shoulders.

«Eccoti! I imagined to find to meditate you.»

Mark had employed few minutes to get up and to reach me.

«Excuse, but if you know that they are to meditate here because you have come? You know that I don't need the psychological assistant. Sometimes it is necessary to be alone.»

I didn't want to be discourteous with Mark, it didn't bother me that you/he/she had reached me, simply it postponed that that a good therapy of the sleep and the soul considered: the loneliness.

«I/you/they have not come for helping to reflect you, I know that you don't need it. I/you/they have come to meditate with you. You/he/she has been a binding day for everybody, not to believe.»

«I know him/it. That two crazy person, unbelievable. What do you say of it, will they make her/it or will they make him pluck?»

«And who knows him/it! The conditions that you/he/she has proposed him are advantageous to an incomprehensible level.»

«Note!»

«Paul, will sign some actions with legal value. Also to me it seemed unbelievable, but the world is full of strange people and prepared to incomprehensible gestures. Substantially then, if Gianca is so sure to know this Alvaro, I trust him.»

«You/he/she can be. Of however one that orders laser swords in America is not of sure everything to place!»

«Eheheh, in effects!»

«And David?»

«David is too much hard to make himself/herself/themselves demolish from something. They are absolutely with him for that that the choice concerns that has done. It was inevitable. Worry me because with the grim that has is easy that settle whole Australia to the New Zelanda! David is I toast, if you/he/she will get by to the great one and in every case, if you/he/she also had to release, you/he/she would never admit to have committed an error departing.»

«You know a thing?»

«Thing?»

«Lately it often happened me to reason too much on the things, and in one of my reasonings I thought to how much certain lives races for inactivity without giving signals holding you passive on board field. Before departing Chiara and I there we are left, then Mario is dead, you get married you, the other ones are dispersed distant. It seems a spite of the life!»

«Lately reasons on the things? You for a long time reasons a lot on the things!»

«Too much!»

«But you know Paul, I have never told you him, but I don't believe that I/you/he/she am too much. That is I don't believe, that there am too much a few or a to look at himself/herself/themselves inside. You are done so and you have to accept you for what you are. Of accord, if for everything that to reason stops living and you makes yourself escape the years before I tell you that I/you/he/she think too much and sopratutto badly, but I don't believe both your case and however yours is a best condition that to be an accustomed mediocre idiot and stupid. No?»

«Certain times I have the feeling to lose me in the reflections and not to know how to look for a more convincing road. I feel me a stupid and inadequate idiot! Also now that everything changes, is a thing that suffer! The nth situation in which I/you/they am a subject that reacts not a subject that acts. Don't know how much me ago incazzare to suffer the circumstances! I have the impression to go on for inactivity. Sometimes understands some upsurge of excite, but then he reenters in the routine! The beautiful one is that then I do me the paranoias on these things! Boh... even it is so and I should simply accept him/it. Probably it is true that in a life the days that count are at the most an about twenty and that the other ones make only volume.»

«I don't believe. I believe that the pages that count in a life one if can write her with his/her own strengths and in number corresponding to the wish that has to write her. There are people that live brief life but they condense their pages of absolute sense. You pick up Alexander Magno. Few years and you/he/she has conquered the widest empire of the ancient history!»

«Yes, vabbè, thing means...»

«Jesus where you put him/it? In trentatré years how much you/he/she has made to speak of itself?»

«But if you/he/she has not not even existed!»

«Yes that you/he/she has existed!»

«Then take Freddie! Less eclatante but more next to us. You/he/she has made a lot of grandiose things in few years. Has written pages and important pages in his/her life and moreover has left an indelible trace of itself! If had lived more only! Anything else other than winds pages!»

«I have understood but that was an artist!»

«What it enters it? A crumb has to aspire to make the history. I speak of them because I am known life, in a certain sense exemplary. It is not that we have to be all heroes. I say only that a man has to focus himself/herself/themselves to channel the efforts in the construction of his/her own dreams. Each his! Way of living a dream is the good way to fill the life of important pages, because every page represents a wedge of the run that brings yourself toward the objective. At least, I think her/it this way! Speaking of pages, has Hut, begun him this blessed novel or no?»

«I have to wait for to have a good history!»

«Then you see that you are you to want to wait!»

«It is not so easy, it owes a good history to come to mind!»

«Tells this of history! A bad history doesn't seem me!»

«Yes, the usual autobiographic romanzetto to be let to relatives and friends to read...»

«And if also pits, that badly there would be? Would have done something however that for a long time felt inside! Use her/it this history, use to put us to her inside all the considerations that cross you in head! Once written even it will serve to someone or it will serve only perhaps to you to have written her/it or it won't perhaps help anybody; in every case, you would have fixed something to disposition of others, you would have created something. Does it seem you few?»

«Boh, perhaps among a few years, with calm, I will begin something that I will bring at the end!»

«Among a few years you would be able not to have the time anymore, the enthusiasm, the strength to do him/it. Fault now! After all what do you have to lose?»

«Also you with the philosophy of which there is to lose? Feel even more me stupid of what feel me! And to realize to be deludes me and to have thrown other time! Here thing I have to lose!»

«And then? But do you stop her/it taking so seriously you? It looks that you are void for the cosmos, you can also afford to risk or to fail.»

«Not to put to make you the Buddhist santone!»

«I am not making the Buddhist santone. Am saying only that the main point is to try! Without too precautions if not the necessary, because so much if you fail or less, if you live or you allow yourself to live," any way the wind blows"!.»

«Thing?»

«Any way the wind blows! However the wind blows! He/she wants to say that for how much we distress there some things, the life it goes on. Also without us. So much is worth to take less seriously him and to try to follow his/her own vocation: that is a novel, a child, a job. It doesn't import what both, each feels his. It is the final sentence of Bohemian Rapsody. Mythical Freddie Mercury!»

«And that balls with I am Freddie Mercury! Are doing me him to hate! Be all right, is all right, cazzo goes, well when return I try there! I will try to do instead of thinking whether to do! Otherwise, Any way the wind blows. and The ams bitter cazzi!»

«I diminish! Look that I expect me to read soon your fregnacces! Now that everything is definite however, that do? Bed?»

«Mmm... awarded by the!»

I Mark as usual you/he/she had found the correct key to give back to me the ability to feel well me and, returned to the camping, I have fallen asleep after few minutes without any effort.

The following morning Gianca and Chicken have acquitted all of their bureaucratic appointments and Mark you/he/she has made to understand to be very confident indeed on the two future.

I have slept up to the 9.00; as soon as awake I have started having breakfast out of the camper. The three has reentered to that time.

David prestissimo woke up for going to race in the beach and to breathe the pure and rich air of iodine of the sea. To my awakening, you/he/she had already washed after the run and it smoked blessed to full bellows. What a beast.

I have stared at Gianca to see if it were able of to read me in face the serenity of that moment and not only the fears of the moments no.

He has exclaimed:

«Cazzo looks me I diminish! Move you that we have to go!»

«To go where?»

«To Lignano!»

«Now? But we have not eaten yet!»

«Chissenefrega! Move you, you don't starve!»

«But because so much hurry?»

«Because you/they are waiting us!»

«But who?»

«It doesn't care, move you!»

I have looked for in the others an explanation to that whole hurry. Nobody knew nothing.

Chicken has added:

«Has come out with is what that owe to be soon to Lignano because they wait us! He/she doesn't want to disclose other, you know how you/he/she is done.»

«Anchors with these unforeseen event, but enough! I crack there with you! Don't peck at me more for a whole vacation!»

«And who cazzo wants you in another vacation! Move you!» you/he/she has observed with gentleness Gianca.

«Always a love you, eh?» I have answered him. He has blown a bacetto toward me.

This way, again on the thorns, spiazzati from the chain of the novelties and with the stomach void, leaves again always too much for the last one it covers some trip to the bachelorhood: Lignano Sabbiadoro.

### 5. Lignano Sabbiadoro.

The trip was inevitably next to its conclusion, but in the move toward Lignano they didn't prevail the feelings of anxiety from return or the bad moods background run, rather the cabin of that accursed wheels furnace, the box of that approximate mean, was full of found again serenity, songs cantatas together, sharing of intents and perspectives, bottles of beer to the last sip: friendship.

Friendship. A word less and less defined and too often misused.

"In unstable balance among mine I would like I don't feel that foolish desire of equilibrium anymore... You don't feel that I tremble while song... It is the sign in one summer that I would like it was able to never end"

I have spent the whole move from the Emilia to the Friuli giving me to the crazy joy with the autoradio, by now family. I tried to season the atmosphere with the most proper pieces and to succeed kept us on frantically changing the traces. Once found that correct, I didn't have the patience to leave to finish her/it and I truncated the songs looking for new pushes other musical rushes.

You/he/she has been really on the refrain of" Summer" of the Negroamaros that Gianca has scolded as usual me.

«This leave her/it that now have really broken the coglionis! Badly that we lose there sight, I don't bear you more!»

«I also love you me, big baby!» I have answered allowing to flow the song.

Friendship.

I don't believe there is staircases of value to measure her/it, to be able to say how much appagante is, authentic, lasting. It would be comfortable to understand, to quantify, to weigh the relationships and to reciprocate them in way paritaria. A meter, a staircase, a measure of something to understand how much it is worth: from 1 to 3 good knowledge, 3-5 affinities, 5-7 light friendship, 7-9 good friendship, over 10 total tuning, love.

Truth is that in that blue campers, with the sweat that bathed neck and back, there was no need of anybody measure to understand how much fortunate had been, as for our way there were beloved.

"When you grow you realize you that you are alone, anything else other than friends, not to believe the moment that each will look at his/her own affairs, will arrive." It was one of the mottos more gettonates that it used my mother to oppose me. It used her because I avoided to tie too much me to the friends losing sight the personal objectives. I am sure that it told him/it with good intentions, with love of mother. It did him/it because he/she knew that when you lace the soul to that of another person or to other people, you create indissoluble connections, you become with other subjects and the dependence interdependent you/he/she can produce pain.

Me my indissoluble connections I had created her however and I was happy not to have listened to that warning. Also now that each would have taken a strange different, I didn't see selfish choices or exclusive care of personal affairs in the dynamics that would physically have gotten further us. I saw only men: my friends and I in front of handed by to open, each with his/her handle in hand, every strong of the energy that had united us before meeting solitary entries.

Friendship.

We were together everybody from the maternal school and we were never released there. We had not done him/it for a woman, not to follow proper affairs, not for the different social and family conditions that we had awry. We had succeeded to remain a compact group and at the same heterogeneous time for every year of the adolescence. A true rarity, a thing of which to be able to be fierce.

Fierce to be friends because, to be friends, is not a cinch.

Behind ours of friendship, there were all the works to mitigate divergent humors, to unite objective at times opposite, sorvolare on discourtesies and blames, to forget grudges, to abdicate revenges and spites or simply to accept to be distant on some points, even adversaries on others.

I have put a lot of more energy in to build that relationship, that friendship, that in every other relationship interwoven in my life, sentimental or family that was. In a certain sense I could say that that of us five pits a real family, or better, a clan with own rules and personal inside dynamics.

Also there, in the trip, by now known that the destiny brought us distant, I was absolutely some that we would have carved in the time moments to return to the" Wine cellar" to tell us as the things they went, to take around us merciless, to complain us for the course of a project, of a team of kick, of a loving relationship.

We would always have had our basin of friendship in which to support us, one on the other, were convinced of it and I are today still it.

«Oh but want to wake up you! Porca puttana, but possible that you impalli worse that a dvd pirate! Do you pass her/it to me cazzo of beer it is or no?» you/he/she has howled Gianca after having asked me more than once to withdraw him a beer from the refrigerator.

I was again me lost in a mental trip. This time however it was a positive thought, a deprived analysis of melancholy or resentment a more satisfactory budget of affections. You/he/she is seemed me to improve, to be able to also throw out some good consideration from my mental trips.

«Vaffanculo coglione! Thrust her/it in culo the beer! It is less badly that we are not relatives... anything else other than family!» I have answered to Gianca passing him the nth cold beer and toasting with him how incredulous it didn't understand (justly) thing I/you had chattered.

Lignano Sabbiadoro: the last one covers.

Lignano as town it doesn't differ then very from the places of the coast romagnola.

I am there however substantial differences: the sand of the beach chilometrica is darker and thinner, dusty; the sea is marshy however but slightly more cold and clear; if to Rimini it is easy that on six days of vacation you happen you to take once water, to Lignano surely at least two days on six it will be ugly time.

To say him/it misses I there was the sun to Lignano of Sunday.

To the departure of our trip we had arranged to also take the following Monday to the return as day of vacations. We had done him/it because we knew that we would have been able to distribute badly the times inside the trip and to arrive long on the end. In every case then, even if we had succeeded in reentering for time, of Sunday evening, every would have had available one whole day to recover himself/herself/themselves: the day damper.

Yet to the one of the afternoon, when there was not any motive to be in a hurry, Gianca uneasy smaniava and while David quietly directed the mean for the too rotundas of the place friulana, he kept on giving impositions become impatient on the run by to hold.

«Of there... no, it turns here rather,... the first one to the right... no, the second... you give it accelerates... cazzo, surpass him/it that!»

Obviously David was about to change when has sbottato «Oh Gianca, vaffanculo! Guide you and we go where cazzo you want!» But Gianca has responded serene «it doesn't serve, we have arrived, here it is!», enacting the end of the trip of connection.

I have looked at the insignias of the present exercises in the stradina inside the town: I tried to understand where our old wise man wanted to bring us. In front of us, in that street hand there was out only three shops: a laundromat to tokens managed by Chinese; a retail sale of food for dogs and articles for pets denominated with scarce imagination" You den of the wolf"; a smaller shop with an only dark showcase and an insignia to neon above with writing" Lello Tatoo." You/he/she has not been difficult to understand where we were destined.

«You are crazy if you believe indeed that I make me touch from one that I even know!» I have just mumbled gone down by the camper.

«By now it is a life that we say that sooner or later we would have done him, the moment has arrived!» you/he/she has replied easy-going Gianca.

Thinks of her of it stuffed a tattoo together we had had her when we were not even adults. It is true, it was a thing some cretina to make himself/herself/themselves the whole same tattoo, a thing that is all right to eighteen, but there were jurors that sooner or later we would have done him and it was my turn to hold faith to that oath.

«But excuse, here? And who knows him/it this? » you/he/she has asked pacific Mark.

«Me! Be a friend! Have booked him the session two months ago because doesn't work on Sundays! Moreover has had to call two colleagues of his to tattoo us all and five in time! Not worried you however, they are good, has guaranteed him to me! The only thing is that owe us to move to decide the sketch! Have given by and large him some indications on what is the theme, has said that prepared us some squirt, but owe all to be sure on thing want! On we enter!»

«But is it possible that you have everywhere friends? And this where you would have known him? By internet obviously, eh? Risiko on line? Monopolies online? Diviner who virtual?» I have asked him ironic.

«Simply in chat!» you/he/she has answered candid.

Gianca passed so so much connected time online that it knew people in every city of Italy.

Then the beautiful one is that it was convinced to know indeed her, to be in good relationships, to establish truthful bonds. Everything without anybody base of comparison, for the most part without not even knowing that I/you/he/she do it had the friend of turn aldilà of the screen.

«But you spice yourself! With the cazzo that enter from that to make to puncture me without a guarantee! Even doesn't even know how to draw, even makes us peck at the hepatitis or the Aids! No, no, you don't rub me beautiful my!»

«But what hepatitis or Aids! Its jobs have all five stellettes in the forums! And then it is clean, it would result in the critiques if it were him/it!»

«You are crazy!»

«We do so, to the traditional way... to the votes! Favorable?»

All, Mark, has expressed even their consent.

I have not been able to leastly oppose me. I have puffed. «What cazzata.» And we have entered the shop.

The three tatuatoris waited for our arrival smeared on a divanetto of cloth verdino, sipping red wine, spiluccando from a big pouch of the french fries to the paprika and watching a movie of Verdone transmitted by an old tv to cathode pipe. Crossed the threshold, I expected me they received us three rolled full of piercing and tribal sketches. Nothing of all this. Only one of the three vaguely had an aspect out of the ordinary one because of a red lock of hair in head and a writing engraved on the left hand": Diesel."

Seeing us enter one of the three has gotten up and has exclaimed «Gianca! It was now!»

What spoke was Lello the owner of the shop. The three is almost introduced gracefully however formal.

«To like Lello...»

«To like Plug...»

«To like Diesel...»

I have held back the tears. Not us n'era one with a normal name, and if also Lello could be for Antonello or Marcello or Gabriello, Plug thing meant? Diesel that meant it had?

Lello has velocizzato the what is suitable saying that it was late and that it needed that we hurried there to choose the sketch, that needed to depart in hurry with the job. Then you/he/she has ignited a reed of long Marijuana as a pocket umbrella and you/he/she has exposed us his/her ideas.

It hallucinated me to think that you/he/she would have tattooed us one who he was smoking all that stuff, but he was impassive, as if you/he/she was not smoking a drug, as him same drinking a" Crodino."

You/he/she has not been to decide effortless, sopratutto for me and Mark that were the only two not to have tattoos. Personally I have always considered the tattoos a superfluous ornament and too much definitive. It made me laugh then who tattooed absurd things: I imagined the moment in which is be regretted having an elf on the calf, a tribal on the back, a carp on the arm. Even I knew one who was made to write" Sabrina" on the neck, the name of the future wife. The idiot in matter, to be made to be branded, had gathered two months later the sweet Sabrina in car with a friend to make himself/herself/themselves stamp on the seats of behind. That tattoo I set you/he/she would have remembered forever him that kind of zoccola was about to marry himself/herself/themselves.

The catalog of drafts of ledger Lello contained manifold proposals: a writing in Aramaic that to his he/she dictates it recited" united forever", a Celtic rune simboleggiante the friendship, a stylized pentacolo, a tribal hand with the five fingers well opened, five look for connected too much some similar to the Olympic coat of arms. To put on of accord was not easy. We voted the ideas with the usual system, but it seemed impossible to reach the majority. Seeing that the discussion was destined to strand I have believed to have her/it sfangata. Then however Mark has proposed

«Thing is that you/he/she has held together us for so much time?»

«The friendship!» David has answered.

«The sfiga!» Chicken.

«The beer» Gianca.

«This is the point. Cannot be defined what has been! My idea was already in the question. Tender together, to tie. Among us there will be always a bond no? Let's tattoo us a knot!»

«Five knots!» I have suggested.

«Five united knots in a knot!» you/he/she has repeated convinced Lello.

This way we have decided that all nient'altros that that bond there will be tattooed that had held together us and to Lignano Sabbiadoro, in a Sunday of end summer that decreed the term of the trip to the bachelorhood, there are tattooed five united knots in a knot.

With three tatuatoris for five sketches, we have had to establish an order of access. Once ended with the first sketch, the free tatuatore would have shouldered the remainder.

We have begun with these joinings: Gianca - Lello / David - Plug / Me - Diesel.

I have insisted for immediately beginning and to do him/it really with Diesel because to submit me first to the treatment would have freed more quickly me. By the tooth, by the pain. Diesel then I had had a preference for him for the writing on the hand. It was well realized, draws definite, appropriate tones. I have drawn only after the writing could not be the enterprise of my operator, it was on the left hand and him it was left-handed.

Lello has opened some envelopes verdine containing sterilized tools. You/he/she has done him as him same opening another pouch of fried potatoes, then you/he/she has prepared the postings of job and the operation it is initiated.

I have felt the needle puncture me the skin on the right arm. I cannot say that it was pain what I have tried, rather I would call him/it itch, annoying itch.

During the tattoo Lello has turned on another reed, this less long time, then you/he/she has asked everybody if we wanted to smoke, but at the end you/he/she has consumed her in solitary. I imagined me as you/he/she could develop such a delicate job after having smoked as a rasta. How did it do to trace sure lines? How could you/he/she be accurate? I have imagined that that on the arm of Gianca would have been a scribble, but while I was thinking this Lello you/he/she has passed a cloth on the skin of my friend to collide with the outgoing blood and you/he/she has exclaimed satisfied «Done, ended, beautiful!»

Now, apart that Gianca you didn't even see him/it beautiful if you smoked your whole Holland, Lello you/he/she had developed indeed a good job. Before we began, the three tatuatoris had studied a particular sketch, a stylized knot, eccentric. I knew that they existed professionals of the tatoo that didn't develop any job, but they made an alone sketch if he liked. Some like the hairdresser gay of my mother that cut only her hair in the way that soddisfaceva him. The three was not available to simply employ their time to stamp five knots on the skin of as many idiots and for this motive you/they had created a draft that revisited with a precise style our application. The thing had convinced us and on the base of that sketch I have appraised the job of Lello a good execution.

Five minutes later Lello, Plug has finished with David.

Also Plug had completed an excellent creation and David you/he/she has thanked him satisfied.

«Thanks Plug! You have been a magician!»

Have I asked curious «But is Plug for thing?»

You/he/she has answered me «For the cuts!»

And after having felt that Plug made sketches engraving the meat of his/her own clients, I/you/they have been silent and I have swallowed feeling a shiver cross me the testicles.

Later then I have understood, because Diesel it called this way.

Lello had also ended with Mark, Plug with Chicken, yet I was still under the humming needle of my operator and, although I kept on not feeling a specific pain, I was frankly exhausted.

«It employs us a life but it is a phenomenon!» you/he/she has specified Lello to reassure me after having realized my impatience. Then Diesel has puffed «Voilà, the gentleman has served! I have put there some, but it is my line!»

The arm I have looked, I had a tattoo. Diesel you/he/she had been able to make almost it bright and even if the five sketches were substantially identical, mine had something in more, a magic touch.

Mark has asked to Lello how much we owed him, he has responded to already have been paid from Gianca with a credit transfer and you/he/she has ignited a wide reed as a porky.

We have greeted the three artists of the skin and we are gone out for taking back the camper.

Have told Gianca «Indeed didn't owe! A beautiful figure will be cost you!»

Has he responded «And who cazzo has said that I pay everything self? Have anticipated only, now give back to me the money! Each pays his/her quota, I am not at all Dad Christmas me!»

But have not done in time to allibirmi that has corrected «I Joke coglione! A gift in this whole time I had never done you him. Peck at you the tattoo!» And we are gone up again on the mean thanking him/it.

In the shop of Lello I had lost knowledge of the time and indeed I had not realized that we had employed more than five hours to trace us a sketch on the skin.

According to the classical tradition of the place, the sky had clouded and it annoyingly threw a cold air. Mark has considered that to leave again without passing from the sea would have been an unforgivable crime. We have conducted therefore the camper up to the term of the waterfront and we have parked him in front of a camping.

There are direct afoot toward the beach and, walking, we didn't have the air of the happy-go-lucky tourists, but not even the sad eyes and the impatient footstep of the people of the reentry. We were us, simply us, and we would have been able to be in whatever place of the planet because you/he/she would not have done difference. Whoever looking would have gathered only us the harmony of gestures and looks of an inseparable bond.

The clouds that accumulated soft above our heads left a portion of sky open above the sea. Lilac and distant, the colors of the two halves were mixed in an only pacific extension.

We are stopped in the cafe on the beach that enacted the end or the beginning there, of the walk on the sea.

We have ordered four beers in bottle and a Coke to the thorn. Unconsciously you/he/she can be that the return we had considered to the standard consummation of Wednesday one of the few firm points of our relationship.

Chicken has confirmed «Three beers! And two Coke... I don't drink anymore!»

And I have taken action that even the standard consummation was changed.

Does Mark, arrive the beers, has you/he/she asked «And now that he does?»

«You does what he/she is drunk and he returns home!» Gianca has responded.

«And later? That is, tomorrow? Do we return all account of that that changes?» you/he/she has taken back David.

«All changes. And we will owe us to be able, good us, to prevent that this changes» you/he/she has revealed then Mark.

Chicken, that to make him a sketch certain things didn't even grab her to the flight, has you/he/she asked «This what?» Then, observing the incredulous faces has continued «Sì that have understood! I joked idiots! Then... gentlemen... a toast: to that thing that unites us, it inspires us and that it ends for" No"!»

General silence.

«The figa, No?» And among insults, sneers and calumnies we have toasted and declared concluded officially ours" trip to the bachelorhood."

You/he/she has begun to rain by now on the beach in faint light of Lignano and we have returned to the blue camper. David has turned the key in the picture with little conviction but with a lot of boldness; then, after having steered with calm to go out of the gravelly parking lot, you/he/she has exclaimed «we Go!»

And leaves again homeward.

"Roads that they allows to drive strong, few words rains warm and dark, windshield wipers and curves to be straightened, roads that they allows to forget... "

Trails six hours of calm journey, going out of the highway I looked at the tattoo. With moisturizing cream was covered and decidedly too much swollen and irritated to be definitive, but you/he/she would be become him/it and I was happy to have done him/it.

The camper has taken a road that I knew and from that moment you/he/she is seemed to race on the asphalt as a countdown. The last curves, the densest and cold air, the odor of the lake at night, the silences of the country, her" Wine cellar."

Reached the" Wine cellar" it seemed you/they were spent years by our departure because the particular ones of a cut hedge, of a moved poster or of a renewed insignia, in a country as ours, they change of very the scenery.

I have extracted from the stereo the" Mark, turn of Italy, volume two" and I have inserted him without particular care in suitcase, then I/you/they have gone down from the mean.

«We see us in week? Wednesday in the wine cellar?» you/he/she has asked Gianca before going up again on the camper with Chicken and to return him of it to house.

«Yes.»

«I think.»

«I see.»

«I don't believe.»

Arranged partial signs of answer, we are greeted using the residual strengths there and one are embraced for one there. David is proposed to accompany Mark to house. I, had been turning on the firm car for a week, I have taken the road for my small apartment in lease.

They were seven nights that I didn't sleep only with my thoughts and I have to admit that you/he/she has been binding, but I/you/they have succeeded in not looking through too much me in the head.

On the balconcino I have drunk a beer by now lukewarm that had withdrawn from the refrigerator of the camper and I have smoked silent a cigarette in the mute night of the street.

Ended the poison, I/you/they have gone to sleep.

Among the light and perfumed covers of my bed of Swedish manufacture, to spend too many thoughts on how much lived in that week and on what that week closed an error you/he/she is seemed me by to avoid.

I can sustain with boldness to have made her/it.

I have taken sleep in few minutes, aware that from the following day I would have stopped waiting for the things that you/they missed me and that I would finally have started to concretely face what I had before.

The" trip to the bachelorhood" it was by now to all the effects a memory, and for how much aware was that it dealt with a splendid memory, I understood that it drew near a new phase in which I would have had to take some decisions.

## Part Three

### 1. Occasions.

I could affirm, without any conceitedness, to have numerous good motivations to be deeply disturbed and disappointed by the life. I am not him/it, not even some.

The sun and the colors of August, were almost in a hurry, you/they have quickly left space to the most restful tones in the autumn and September you/he/she has arrived with the whole desolating weight of the nature that withdraws him, with the innate ability to underline the time that races with the usual load of reflection and idleness.

Contrarily than I expected me, the definitive separation from the usual reality arrives for degrees, diluting himself/herself/itself in the lead times physiological typical of all the preparations to the changes.

Chicken and Gianca have employed very more time than I believed it served to conclude the respective working relationships of it and to throw himself/herself/themselves in that that I still considered an a little sensible and very risky resale of statuettes.

They made the spool between Cesenatico and our country on the lake with weekly lilt, every weekend, and happened that them rincontrassi exclusively in canonical Wednesdays of the Wine cellar or by chance in the few roads of this country of lake.

I cannot say that they were different people or that something substantial was changed in my relationship with them, we were friends, as always, but some details were interposed among us.

Effect of the sharing of the project, was everything, together inexorably.

For how much very in harmony had always been, from when you/they had undertaken a common road you/they had become indissoluble, inseparable.

You/he/she has been in that period that I have started to consider them an only entity. A Chicken didn't exist anymore and not even a Gianca. Chicken existed. only Gianca: the couple.

Every time when I saw them again I noticed an authentic enthusiasm in to communicate me every updating respect to" Fantasy world" and almost smaniavano the two in to anticipate him to story, describing him to me I furnish, the points light, the commodity, the realization of an idea or simply a good person still thought by to practically define.

An evening in the Wine cellar I have asked to Chicken as same his/her father and if there were developments for that thing of the liver and the illness.

He has responded almost disappointed, as whether to speak of elements distant from the theme" Fantasy world" pits an unpleasantness or more banally a loss of energy.

«Boh! At the end knows me that is not anything of so serious and, even if was him/it, is not that he has stopped shooting him two liters wine a day! In every case I don't want to interest too much me some liver of my father, at least not now that have so so many other things more imported of which to occupy me. I regret by now for him but so much...»

I have not added other. For how much I didn't appreciate to discover so indifferent Chicken to the future of his/her father, I could not blame him/it. However you/he/she had reached a proper equilibrium and I would not have been certain self to upset him/it to him.

Gianca contrarily of Chicken with the history of the shop the equilibrium seemed to have entirely it lost.

It didn't reach the appointments anymore under conditions to the limit of the pity, but rather, from when we had reentered him a new gait you/he/she was conferred, quickly innovative as embarrassing.

You already felt entrepreneur to all the effects and from his/her wardrobe the sweaters you/they had disappeared of" Flourishing" and the white sock of sponge, to make space to numerous shirts in united shade purchased for the goal.

Sunglasses as you/he/she had never brought of it, gel in the corvine hair as if it was rained him in head and cellular phone of last generation: it seemed a yuppies of the years' 80, seemed Sergio Vastano in" Drive in."

A detail betrayed only it, only an aspect: despite it repeated to whoever that not as soon as the investment would have started to produce an economic return you/he/she would have changed her, it always turned on the same car the catorcio of 106 red.

To observe to go down him/it from the auto however remembered that that Giancas it was the same that little time before adventurer groped with the mask and the fins in the low backdrops of the Adriatic and replaced him/it in the position that I attributed him.

Among everybody, David has been the first one to depart.

It has hidden up to the I complete whenever the day of the take-off and every someone he/she asked him news of his/her transfer, it postponed generic saying that" you/he/she would have gone among some."

"Among some" one Saturday has arrived morning of end September.

We had realized something because David had summoned us all through sms for a rendezvous to the Wine cellar of Friday evening: anomalous circumstance.

Was there also Mark that evening and has you/he/she been really him, once all presents, to ask without suitable «there are true Then? When?»

«Tomorrow morning! And I regret Mark, but I am forced to lose me your marriage» Zinzi has responded, leaving us of fact without words.

«But does excuse, tell this way us him? And who accompanies yourself in the airport?» I have observed entirely unprepared.

«How I owed you him to say? By now knew that would have arrived that day! In the airport I go there with mine ex colleague. You excuse, but I didn't want to make the departure a tragic event, to have you in the middle of the balls there you/he/she would have made me move» you/he/she has replied David.

«Yes, but take there to the unprovided one! We are not ready!» you/he/she has visibly affirmed excited Chicken.

«Not even me! For this I have not told you before. I know only that is a footstep that I have to complete alone and if I/you had thrown too much you in mean I would have felt in difficulty, I would have been more weak» you/he/she has admitted again Zinzi in a rush of intimacy.

«Good David! Not do worry yourself for the marriage, are only after all a ceremony, rather know, that I share your determination!» Mark has congratulated.

I have insisted then because we toasted all once more to that departure, but David has refused with steadiness the correct vodka energy that I strove me to offer him.

Even Chicken has taken my parts.

«David but cazzo, tomorrow changes continent and cannot we even pay you a drink? Had told there for time would have bought you a thought at least! What figure do we do us from the?»

«Is really this that didn't want! After so many years I believe that we can avoid him/it a film goodbye no? It allows to lose the regalinis for the trip!»

«Yes, but at least you brought yourself something that you/he/she would have remembered us!» you/he/she has taken back Chicken.

«Indeed creeds that there am need of something to remember you? I don't think really. Do I have something that he/she remembers me however, are you, forgotten of it?» you/he/she has finished David lifting the sleeve of the maglioncino up to make to sprout a tattooed knot on the right forearm.

The following morning has departed; gone to seek his/her own fortune and perhaps a new and best himself in that America of his that America was not. The irascible David, nicknamed Zinzi for the soccer passion toward the French talent Zinedine Zidane, companion of so many turned on discussions and of even more numerous sharings, you/he/she has been the first one of us to open the personal door of the occasions of the life.

It is true, it didn't deal with a real separation in all the senses, of a closed run absolutely, but I was not able whether to consider how much in every separation, even though brief and not total, you/they were stung definitive there of change.

From when we had returned, Mark he saw again him with the dropper and the evening before the departure of David it represented the most greater part of the departed time with him after the" trip to the bachelorhood."

For how much the pregnancy of Simona had never furnished elements of worry and it proceeded with reassuring linearity, there were too many good motives to limit the meetings with the friends.

Mark systematized and prepared the house just purchased with the inevitable usual precision, absorbed in that waltzes of appointments, deliberations, strategic buys, evaluations of proposals of I furnish and functional retouches that you/he/she didn't not at all seem to weaken him/it or to get heavy him/it of stress.

It seemed that you/he/she had been born for that. It seemed that Mark had been conceived with the unique mission to resolve problems with analysis and method, problems of any nature.

There was the marriage, and even if Mark considered him/it more from the contractual point of view that from the moral side, you/he/she had surrendered to the convictions of Simona that you/he/she desired to be able to live him/it according to his/her own religious inclinations.

You/he/she had told us, always in that preceding evening to the departure of David, to have to frequent the premarital course with the priest of the country on the lake; we had joked there above, as every time, snickering on the images of other couples according to him" already convicts to the divorce before starting" and on the accounts of monologues of a drowsy and a little convinced priest that" he/she would like to teach whether to live something that doesn't know."

«Don't have conceives of how many observations and rigidity there are for marrying himself/herself/themselves! The beautiful one is that you have to undersign her all without discussing, to give a fake and unconditional assent!»

Just the appointment was been Mark's turn, him that it declaimed on the dark beach of S. Maria of Leuca. l.unica regulates reasonable in to relationship, it is l.assoluta lack of rigidity in to give him burdens rules..

Knowing the note antipathy of Mark toward the rules, David you/he/she has also asked him:

«But because you get married then you? Just you that the obligations you don't love, because you want to do him/it?»

«Because I don't do him/it for me! I do him/it for Simona that I love and that it desires him/it and, sopratutto, does him/it for my daughter, because has a family with a controled stability. I don't need to get married me for me, I don't believe that it will modify in any way the feeling that I try for my woman. Times it is alone that certain, sopratutto when you become father, you have to widen the reasons for your decisions» you/he/she has explained Mark.

His/her daughter would have been born: Martina. It revealed him/it really that evening.

For all these reasons Mark I didn't often find again him/it: not in the Wine cellar, in superabundant Wednesdays still of beer and discussions on the kick; not in the synthetic campettis of country, in those evenings of sweaty partitelle to digest the bad moods of day; not in the weekends scanzonati, by now less and less entusiasmanti and fortunately more reasoned.

Would I have been able to sometimes call him/it, to phone him and to ask «How you are? How is it going?»

But have not we ever been generic phone call friends, has not you/he/she ever served there neither will it ever serve us ask" as it goes?" and to know that" everything well, thanks." Us the things we read her I set without asking her, so much less for telephone, and if you didn't feel someone it was because it was well.

We have never lived among us five the grudge of the" it never makes him feel", we have always gone over, as they make the friends.

David in Australia, ready Mark to the marriage, has arrived also the day of Chicken. Gianca.

In to alternate himself/herself/themselves some two bustles, the date that has definitely enacted the transfer coincides with the inauguration of the happened activity on first Saturdays of October..

David for obvious motives has not participated you, but you/he/she has the same phoned Gianca to wish a" good luck" to his/her two crazy partners and he.

Also Mark, in doubt up to the last one, you/he/she has not succeeded in witnessing.

We knew how much it cared, but the fact that Simona was pecked at a beautiful influence a fifth month of pregnancy and a week before the marriage was an enough motivation to abdicate.

Therefore to the inauguration of" Fantasy world" besides Chicken. Gianca I was only there me of the old group, and this increased the perception to excess than, for to whole series of good justification, we were getting further there.

The Friday evening, finished to work, I have reached Cesenatico in car with Chicken. Gianca. For the return I/you/they are equipped me with a ticket of second class of an intercity of the railroads of the state.

You/he/she has driven Chicken for the whole journey. A congested very less run and in effects very interesting in comparison to that to which we had accustomed in the warm summer months. During the trip I have assisted, in the solitary convenience of the back seats, to the sharp pain communication among the two partners that set every thing before the event.

«How many pizza breads you/he/she has ordered Alvaro?»

«Ten great smooth, 8 smaller and you stuff.»

«But Guido and those of Cesena how much I/you/they am?»

«Alvaro says ten.»

«However! Is it Massimo and Mark? Am I there? Do they also bring wives and children?»

«Know that doesn't seem me! Later we ask to Alvaro!»

«Tonight we dine to house, true?»

«Yes, so don't not at all spend money and have not led to return soon her! I want to be beautiful tomorrow awake!»

«Also me! He finally starts!»

«Oh, but the keyrings we immediately give them?»

«Mmm, boh, let's see! But the afternoon we are open?»

«No, better beginning of Monday!»

«You say?»

«I believe.»

«Yes, is better perhaps! You Paul that I/you/he/she think of it?»

It was inevitable that for a whole series of events I/you had become an opinion to consider more out of politeness that for interest.

I have spent the whole journey listening I quiet down and respectful the organizational exchanges and also when Chicken or Gianca, asked me what I thought better of it and thing according to me pits, I answered impersonal «Boh, has to appraise you...»

There was not any vein of polemic and any reflex of exclusion in my words, simply I ascertained how much the whole matter was me extraneous.

I didn't know anything of the pizza breads, neither of the why, neither of the as you/they would have served her; I didn't know Guido of Cesena and not even none of his/her nine disciples; Mark, Massimo, wives and issue were entirely then me new, and I didn't have the least idea of whom would have been before.

I knew only that when Chicken. Giancas spoke of" house", they referred to an apartment in center Cesenatico, ownership of the father of Alvaro, for which you/they had signed an annual contract of location to derisive figures, almost symbolic, perhaps even enough to cover the expenses condominiali to load of the owner.

Accordingly I didn't have very to comment on the whole story, but I repeat, I didn't do him/it for offense.

We have dined and slept in the apartment of merit, by now" house" Chicken. Gianca, and dark ounces you/he/she is seemed me as unbelievable as the generosity and the width of the privileges granted by Alvaro and family it concrete was and irrational.

The day later, Saturday morning, afoot we have reached the shutters of" Fantasy world", you turn into the month of the preparations from the white crusted of rust of the first vision, to the blue diamond, vanished with airbrush in green water and celestial.

I have observed the enormous insignia in style" moon park" that it recited": Fantasy world, the place of the dreams" and he/she anchors I could not believe that it was everything true.

Gianca has opened the rolling shutter with tested safety and surely prepared, Chicken has disconnected the centralina from the alarm and started the general interrupter.

Just turned on the lights, I have had before their creation.

The entry seemed the wine cellar of a castle medioevale and anticipated her/it before the two rooms to disposition of the future clients. Passed to the right the box and the different shelves of statuettes and eccentric articles of sale, the first room finished with a passage cunicolare for the second.

We have crossed at sight that tunnels low of bricks up to emerge in a greater room, a place with bookstores lined up on the whole perimeter and different couples of raw tables of wood ingot. It dealt with an alternative between a library and a ludoteca.

For the whole exercise, painted walls raffiguranti sputafuoco, dwarf of the caverns sulked and solitary, shining elves, riders paladins and gnomes of the woods.

Have I asked perplexed to the two «But how much have you spent?»

Chicken has responded me.

«The most expensive thing I am the muraleses and the armor medioevale, even if that owes anchors to arrive! Oh Paul, would be imagined never that they are even there specialized firms in this type of I furnish? Me, when Alvaro has brought us the catalogs, I could not believe there. I would have bought all!»

I have not commented.

The inauguration officially starts with the arrival of Alvaro. It was less tanned in comparison to our first meeting, but it had the same the relaxed air of whom doesn't have worries on the shoulders.

You/he/she has just crossed the threshold I have greeted him.

«Hi Alvaro!»

He has reciprocated polite.

«Hi! Do forgive me but don't I remember, are you Patrician or David? You know, there are known only of escaped the last time!»

I would have been able to legitimately send him/it for direct to fanculo, but it was the partner - patron of my friends and I have simply replied with thin irony «Paul, but it is also all right Patrician if you want!»

Perhaps he has even gathered.

With to spend some day, the inauguration has entered in the alive one and in the shop characters of various nature they have appeared.

You/they have participated: Guido and solo four of Cesena; Massimo without Mark, without wives and without issue; a gruppetto of scholastic bigiata little boys; a pair of intellectual beatniks vaguely; a quarantenne ipercinetico and some curious passer-by.

Toward half afternoon, in front of the trays stracolmi of pizza bread to the I shear advance labeled as" Bread of street" and to the baskets of full of metallic keyring to form of shield with engraved" The place of the dreams", Chicken has almost declared optimist «Beh, from the, some people have come!»

I had not recorded more than twenty-five presences in the whole day.

Gianca indeed it didn't sufficiently cover the disappointment and, discussing with Alvaro that reassured him/it on the slowness of the starting of an activity, it had the face worried of whom bets as can be allowed.

Even if upset by the hasty sense of desolation that had reached me, I have tried to encourage him/it. Have told him «From the Gians, is the first day, is known how these things go! You will see, now the little boys that have entered will scatter the voice and well soon you will find again you I submerged by snotty spenders that will scuffle him to buy your statuettes!»

«Don't sell only statuettes! They will realize everybody that here sell very more that games and souvenir! However thanks Paul, to have come and to believe indeed in us!» you/he/she has beaten.

I think that you/he/she had not realized how much in him and in Chicken, but especially in the kind of exercise that you/they had opened, I didn't believe a lot then. But the fact same that that trust had appreciated that I didn't have made me hope for fortissimamente for the fates of" Fantasy world."

Risollevato Gianca, has asked to Chicken to accompany me in station, the moment had arrived to return.

I have greeted the few presents giving encouraging handshakes, while with Gianca there are narrow in an embrace of those binding; then I have slipped in pocket a handful of keyring - shield and I/you/they are gone out together with Chicken on the street.

We have not employed a lot for reaching the apartment, to withdraw the car from the playpen of ownership and to reach the station.

Before I climbed on the train Chicken has you/he/she asked me shaky «Paul, is objectively sold?»

«Absolutely no! Rather you will see, that with your enthusiasm you will make great things!»

«Thanks Paul! Be a friend! To know that you believe that we can do her/it it encourages me!»

«I know him/it!»

«But now that return on the lake, that you will do only to the Wine cellar everything?»

«I don't believe that I will remain only for a lot of time, not to worry you!»

«The girl of Leuca?»

«Yes, beh, Alice is not that I/you/he/she am of Leuca!»

«I said for making to understand you! That in short?»

«Perhaps, but not immediately! Before I have to give me to the crazy joy with another! Just returned I will try to occupy the whole available time with her!»

«But who this is? Minchia Paolo, you yes that have around always a new of it! And does it jump from where out? Do I know her?»

«Boh, would say of yes, it calls Giannina!»

«Cazzo as my mother!»

«Ops...»

«Paul, goes to die goes! He/she sees us to the ceremony of Mark!» Chicken has responded after having realized. Then you/he/she has greeted me with the whole affection that was able before granting me the return in solitary.

This way I/you/they have departed, and in the prehistoric wagon that brought me to the lake I have not employed a lot of time to recover from the knapsack the portable PC.

I had withdrawn him from house really in consideration of the trip back hoping would have relieved the run. After all, perhaps I could also appreciate the moments of loneliness, but I didn't love to travel only.

Gianca had insisted because I loaded on the computer the last version of a video game of strategy fantasy that depopulated between the lovers of the kind and me I had satisfied him holding him/it a good pastime for the hours of train of the return.

I have started the attracted videogame more to discover what aspects involved so much my two friends that from the idea to play in itself. Nevertheless, loaded the game, you/he/she is not taken a lot it because I grew weary me and I closed the program confirming the total indifference for the kind.

Slides of the landscape without excesses to be appreciated flowed on the car windows of the intercity when I was about to extinguish the portable one to arrange me in a nap rigenerante.

To the sudden one however, before pressing the key" off", you/he/she has returned me in mind one of the so many suggestions of Mark, and has happened that on the train of return from Cesenatico toward the autumn of the lake, I listened to that suggestion.

In that trip I have started to write this history.

I have written so much and dense, with a rush of enthusiasm that I had never known, trying to remember the precise course of the facts, the said words, the gestures only mentioned and trying to eliminate entirely the more possible the personal evaluations, to reorganize the negligible sides and the history to make interesting.

I cannot say with certainty for the one that same writing and what pits the recipient of the to compose. I would have written only perhaps for me, perhaps for relatives and friends, perhaps for a greater extension of people. I would perhaps have left a message for the one who had wanted to read him, I would not have succeeded there perhaps.

It was not important.

The main point was that at that time I/you had begun to do" something that I for a long time felt." I had begun to" to create" that thing that Mark had me very encouraged to realize.

The hands almost danced frantic on the keys of the PC, a speed of writing that I had never possessed and a continuous saltellamento from the letters to the spaces, from the cancellations to the stings to head.

To Bologna I have realized to have stretched as a lot he/she succeeded me in one of my nighttime sessions; Á. Milan, when The have had to interrupt, The hads already finished the first four chapters.

To Milan you/he/she has stopped me the voice of Luca.

Luca was mine ex companion of high school: smart type, sporting, good center forward, scarce in chemistry almost as me. In the years of the high school our relationship was not him to consider comparable to what I had with the participants to the" trip to the bachelorhood", but we had always gotten along and we had shared with mutual liking the period of the sketches on the benches, of the escapes of the last minute, of the false indispositions and of the inexorable insufficiencies.

After the school there were lost of sight how it often happens, nevertheless when it happened to see himself/herself/themselves again there was still a good feeling among us.

«Hemming furious? It looks if I have to meet really here you!»

«Luca! This is beautiful, really on the same train!»

«How you are?»

«Everything well! You?»

«To the great one! Even if some had been twisting for the day!»

After the what is suitable I have extinguished the PC and have I invited Luca to take a seat; him, to be sure himself/herself/themselves that it was not of trouble, you/he/she has asked «you were working? Do I bore you?»

«No, imagine!» I have answered.

And without I didn't even realize me of it, I had for the first time saved my job.

In the endless brevity of the distance between Milan and the lake, I have chatted approfonditamente with Luca.

You/he/she had graduated in modern letters, you/he/she would have liked to teach, but you/he/she has told me that the possibilities of result proportionally lowered after sometime and that you/he/she was resigned with optimism to develop another profession.

«Then with this crisis!» you/he/she has said.

«Not to speak of it...» I have answered.

I have narrated him the whole history of Mark, of Chicken. Gianca and of David in Australia; and of Chiara that we were left there. Sincerely seemed party, so much to be affirmed «Wow! What a busy life!»

Says really to me, that had always waited for the to happen some things.

I knew that you/he/she was recently married a Dominican girl, you/he/she has shown me some her photos that it had on the jail cell and you/he/she has confessed me that father would be become among few weeks: also him.

Was I happy to find again him/it so much in form, have I asked him «But where do you work now?»

The question that has changed me the life.

Luca collaborated with an on-line newspaper, you/he/she was from little state assumed with a stable contract and you/he/she was very satisfied of the course of his/her working career, so much to decide him to get ready himself/herself/themselves to take the examination of journalism.

«Go out online only, but our speed of expansion is impressive! Then have to see, apart that there is an unbelievable flexibility of schedules, but also the editors' team, all young people and entusiaste! Clear, it is not the moon, but it is a good place!»

«And does with thing deal yourself?»

«Substantially I manage the sporting chronicle of the whole province, but alone is hard! We would have more need columnists, because physically I am exhausted!»

«But they don't assume because of the crisis!»

«Macché! Find them! Clear, the salary is not from nababbi and to the beginning him he/she works freelance, but it seems that to the mole graduates to earn two liras is disgusting!»

«But from the? But does it serve to be enrolled journalists to the bulletin-board to collaborate with you?»

«No! Imagine, be enough to know how to describe what is seen! Me the course I do him/it because I have realized to want to develop this profession, but any person, also without a degree, you/he/she could write for us!»

There is an enormous difference among to wait for an occasion and to realize an opportunity.

Would I have been able to close the matter with Luca complaining myself for the scarce satisfaction that I tried me for my job, have I tried for once throwing myself in a thing that could produce some new possibilities and I has continued instead «Therefore do they look for?»

«Yes!»

«I come there me to write for you!»

«You? Don't joke! But don't you work from Pigozzi?»

«Yes, and then? An interview you can do me him to do, no?»

«Certain, but Paul, would earn certainly very less! It allows to lose, you remain from Pigozzi that it is a noble study»

«Is a burrow of stupid! How much would I earn in less? »

«Boh, some less. Now how much you take?»

And after having disclosed my income to Luca you/he/she has admitted «Certain, economically you will go there to lose, but even then too much. Did Cazzo, think that Pigozzi paid more, you know?»

«Please, we allow to lose what I think me of Pigozzi.» The have answered.

Then Luca has gone down from the train when they exactly missed four countries to my arrival on the lake. You/he/she has gone down with the hands full of purchases facts to Milan, with his classical and unforgettable smiled from awake boy and with the promise sort to hear again us to agree himself/herself/themselves on the interview to sustain near the editing of the on-line newspaper where he/she worked.

Me, with in the legs and in the head the work of the uncomfortable journey and the double rush of the writing not cancelled and of an unexpected opportunity entirely I have reached the country on the lake with a good mezzora of delay to the Italian accumulated in the run.

For the rest you/he/she has thought us the temutissima crisis about to lend me a hand.

With the excuse of the business difficulties, doctor Pigozzi has imposed an I rearrange some inside organization chart of the personnel; to realize him/it, has obviously submitted the assignment to an expensive external advisor, fallen in administration to explain us as to optimize times and resources.

Also not considering how much that advisor, that called Loris, pits an authentic face of cazzo that the mouth of paroloni and terms were filled English as" new economy" and" self management", the impact that had in firm was to a little catastrophic dir.

Loris was introduced among us employed declaring to have the mission of" to retrain the business operational flow", but it was from immediately appeared clear as behind the tested definitions of the order and the methods, all the hopes of the direction concealed him for veder to increase the productivity reducing the expenses.

The principle was not wrong entirely, as in every firm there were leaks of loss but the idea to level exploiting her pre-arranged manuals and techniques of psychological conditioning of the personnel it raged me.

We knew everybody that Gianna of the office purchases it spent the days to flirt away internet, but you/he/she had been doctor Pigozzi to strongly want her/it in the staff (when he/she anchors it was his/her lover).

It was known that Mirella of the operator it used (and it made to use to own discretion) the business lines to phone half Italy, to relatives and friends, but doctor Pigozzi had gotten some good favors hiring that Mirella nephew of a famous political place.

Almost all, even Paolona of the cleanings, had been assumed by Pigozzi on the base of the favors and the recommendations and it was not certain to be recriminated if some things didn't perfectly turn.

However The situation was everything anything else other than very bad.

The numbers of budget I knew well them and I knew with certainty that, exclusively on the base of the declared one (that is excluding the substantial submerged), we had closed the preceding year with a good increase of the proceeds and we still started there to the closing of that in progress in strong growth.

Inevitable that the movement of Pigozzi played as an orchestration to profit some crisis.

Only to FDP a good idea that was seemed to see the whole organizational plant again.

To him, that he/she physically worked only in presence of Pigozzi, that had economically been gratified repeatedly for to have literally slandered his/her own colleagues, that it pursued the scaling without having anybody base of worth from years, it seemed pits a good news that spoke of cuts of dismissals and of revision of expense.

«It was now that was rewarded who makes and that it was penalized who steals!» it sustained the coglione.

The occasion to make even more happy FDP has immediately arrived, assist from the very well tanned Loris.

To command needs to divide and the first proposal of the advisor was really that to create some heads sector, named by the same Pigozzi, that dealt him with to notice errors of productivity and to suggest solutions. Prize: the increase of level (what contractually you/he/she would be touched to that whole year).

Obvious that for the management of the notarial practices the battle was FDP VS Hemming but, although De Bridges it had from his a greater seniority and surely a best ability of arruffianarsi Pigozzi, I was universally very esteemed for my way of operating.

Nevertheless you/he/she had not departed there.

Hardly known as it waited me, I have understood that that was the exact moment to stop reacting and to begin to act and, with the assent of doctor Pigozzi, I have officially asked that my working relationship was modified in regime part-time.

Mine was a decision that would have been able to play as a surrender (and someone perhaps interpreted her/it as such), but really few days before shoots her/it of Loris on the notification of the heads sector Luca you/he/she had made me sustain an interview with Ezio, his/her publisher.

In the bright office where we were met there, Mr. Ezio, to quarantacinquenne with two degrees and to million ideas, had found my motivations and my presumed enough abilities to initial to contract of collaboration.

It was not very as alternative, but I considered the refusal to undergo to the moons of Pigozzi, to the directives of tans Loris him and to the incorrectness of FDP the first true footstep of a new life from subject" agent."

You/he/she will have been only also fortune, but I have been right.

Time later, past events terrible and new solid awareness, have greeted entirely the firm where I worked.

The study Pigozzi is not certain failure for my absence but the day in which have resigned I have enjoyed in to see the looks of the envious colleagues for mine new (and very less logorante) operational position.

The last day of job, quarantadue days after having delivered the letter of resignations, I/you/they have entered the office to the elevated plan of Doctor Marcello Pigozzi.

«Permission?»

«Before!»

«Then I greet her/it doctor!»

«Ah, Hemming, is it her?»

«Yes, I/you/they are given to greet and to thank. He/she knows, I believe that after so much time is rightful to close the relationships with however...»

«Well! I hope that I/you/he/she don't repent. Good-bye!»

I had worked near the study Pigozzi for more than four years of my life.

In that timecourse, in name of the professional etiquette and the continuous pressures of heads and foreman, I had abdicated rights, surrendered minutes, sacrificed vacations and declined rests and illnesses.

Being liquidated in the most total coldness and in few less than 3 minutes has given even more sense to my decision.

FDP I have met him before going out, it towered by now in ours ex office completely his/her.

Has howled «Paul! But don't you even greet?»

Would I have preferred to throw straight, but have I/you/they entered obviously asking «Permission?»

I have shaken his hand and I have said «Now you will certainly have more space!»

«In effects, with the role that I now have, I need an office everything my. It was only also for a matter of image. I am a head sector now!»

«Already!»

«But you? How are you? Are you taking back yourself for that thing?»

«Yes, I am very better, not to worry you.»

«However you went without not even seeing how I have made to systematize the new desk and the new computer!»

«Excuse, is that I had here hurry to go out from!»

«But have not you organized anything for your resignations then? Not even a supper?»

«No. You know that I am not the type.»

«What boredom are! However to think well of us is indeed a sin that you go! By now were so in harmony! Certainly, to this time I would be your executive of reference, but I would have done as always in way of treating you!»

«I know him/it!»

«And how much will you earn of clean a month in the newspaper on. line?»

«I have not made the accounts yet.»

«Ah... badly! You give, if I will have time I will try to read him/it some your article.»

«Thanks.»

«Is all right, then hi! And I beg me... he/she sees around us!»

«Certain! Hi Francis, good luck!»

«Thanks. Hi Hemming!»

Four minutes later to be gone out of the firm I have received a message from FDP:

"I regret that you go. But with what has happened you you would not have borne this whole pressure. I understand him/it!"

I have not even answered, by now also FDP didn't represent that a disagreeable I shear of past.

### 2. Alice Boffi.

"From when you, have gone down inside me, I have understood that it was not beautiful anything, because nothing is as you..."

Just reentered by the" trip to the bachelorhood" I didn't do whether to think to Alice Boffi.

Her image, that he was sfuocata in the temporal passages and in the dynamics of the events, reappears bossy and well defined with the return to the life of every day.

Although I/you had stopped promoting negative reflections on the value of our casual meeting happened to thousand kilometers from house, the idea to see again it produced her/it conflicting states of mind.

Certainly it was so beautiful, that would have been stupid to deny him the opportunity to spend some time with her but the fear of rincontrarla in a daily context indeed it produced repetition doubts.

When and as I would have had to contact her/it? And as I would have had to behave me? And her? As you/he/she would have approached to me? Would you/he/she have been the same one of Leuca? And me? Would I have succeeded in shaking me of back the weight of the roles and alone being myself?

Too uncertainties.

Left the camper and the friends, opened the door of house, placed the suitcase, it was me from immediately arrival the temptation to send her a message to tell her/it of my return, of the last developments on the story of Chicken and Gianca and of the matter of the tattoo to Lignano.

But for what I knew, she would be been able to be still in Puglia, or in another place, or with someone, and perhaps he/she didn't even want to be disturbed. I have abdicated.

The problem was everything in what had happened among us that evening in the beach: you/he/she had so totally been perfect and only to be made to believe me that anything had happened among us after that first moment you/he/she would not have produced the same marvelous affinity.

I have attended for two weeks before deciding to make to feel me.

Two departed weeks racing for abominable distances every evening after the job (rain and wind annexed), in the vain hope of crossing by chance her as often happened.

If nothing else, because of all that to race, had reached a condition physical. athletic devastante, grated the Parmesan cheese with the abdominal ones and I/you/they has been contacted by the Italian Olympic committee for to place to the world neighbors of athletics.

Nevertheless, when I have begun to fear that Alice was volatilizzata or worse that you/he/she concretely was not never existed and you/he/she derived pure from my imagination, I have decided to send her a message.

«Have returned! You? everything well?»

Hardly envoy however, I have realized to be indeed a big fool.

Had we reentered from two weeks and me I wrote her as if we were seen before there the evening; moreover" you" to whom was turned? To his/her/their cousin? To the friend? And that it rubbed me? There was not an an and we you, I looked for her, I wanted her.

I have immediately phoned her.

«Ready?»

«Yes, Alice? I am Paul Orlando... that of Leuca... that is, not that I am Leuca... we are seen to Leuca there... beh, saw also us first but...»

«Ohi, calm, have understood who are! Hi Paul!»

«Hi Alice. Excuse, is that I have just sent you a message and...»

«I have not read him yet!».» >

«Well! But have you returned now?»

«To say the truth they are two weeks.»

«However, what a sense of timing!»

«It is that I didn't know, even I disturbed, I didn't want to be intrusive. I hoped to meet around you, but I don't have you more sight. Don't you race anymore?»

«Allows to lose! I have a problem with the tendon of Achille, it makes me go crazy!»

«Return him/it!»

«Thing?»

«The tendon... to Achille! If it doesn't go return him/it, I give you mine rather!»

«I diminish! Jokes apart, as are you?»

«Boh... I would say well, better. Oddios there are considerable novelty, but I don't want to hold you a hour to the telephone, I will tell you!»

«Excellent! When?»

«When that?»

«When end her/it! Stupid, did I intend when you will tell me? When we see us?»

«...»

«There were promised of dear Paul to see again us, memoirs?»

«Yes! Beh... when you want!»

«Friday evening you would be busy?»

«Mmm, make to think of me Wings... No, I am not busy anything Friday! But so are you that are inviting me! However ok. that you say of it, supper from Gigi?»

«But from the! Indeed few original! Excuse, alive alone, no? You strutted you so much to know how to manage an apartment and to be an experienced cook... I come to supper from you! This way control!»

«However, beautiful convinced this Alice.»

«You won't think indeed that I have second ends eh? Won't you do a matter of roles and circumstances of it again true?»

«No, calm, I took around you!»

«Well! Then to Friday! Do we hold good the classical one at 20.00 o'clock?»

«At 20.00 o'clock!»

«Ok! Then I escape that they are in super delay!»

«Yes, but I have to explain you where I live...»

«It doesn't need, I know him/it!»

«And as do you know him/it?»

«Have asked to your cousin, I have documented! If you still waited for some to do you alive, you found again me on the door of house a few evenings, that creeds!»

«Ah.»

«From the Paul, I go.»

«Yes, are right, I also have scrubs, to Friday! Hi!»

«A kiss. Rather no, a fist on the shoulder!»

«And it seemed you!»

«Hi.»

«Hi.»

This way I have found completely unprepared to receive that so expected guest.

How to systematize house? What to cook? On which to aim type of evening? Which to make himself/herself/themselves expectations of result?

Between a question and the other one you/he/she has arrived on Fridays.

I had hypothesized thousand different dishes to surprise Alice, so much that the more hailed of the world chefs has even had never to trouble him so much to surprise.

The fact is that for a long time a man that cooks for a woman shows as of itself can imagine and there is not moreover way of understanding on the base of what elements you/he/she will be analyzed.

It is a mystery a thing that you/they know only the women.

Tropical recipes, oriental kitchen, Indian, Russian, Brazilian. I have thought of her all, but it seemed me impossible to find the key of time to surprise Alice Boffi.

I had at least known his/her tastes, I had at least known something in more than her.

While I was reflecting how much certain lines of my character, also admitting everything I strive him/it imaginable to improve me, you/they would have remained soaked of paranoia and uncertainty, the rubber band of the impulsiveness has gone off me.

At 17.00 o'clock I have sent her a message:

"I am not an experienced cook! Certain dishes also come me from dogs! Then, if you want to eat in acceptable way, it is worthwhile that we order something. I wait you to the 20.00. Excuse."

I had always been this way. When I climbed on exaggerated expectations, I got frightened me up to make me ridiculous and to expire in the insufficiency of personality.

Alice has answered laconic few minutes later:

"Ok"

And with that message, sent without making to shine through any type of emotional reaction, you/he/she has slowly begun to make to understand me how much my fears were unjustified entirely.

You/he/she has reached 19.58 o'clock, with an unimaginable punctuality in comparison to my frequentazione female standard. Tennis shoes lived, sweater of sleeve cotton long, blue jeans. It didn't have the shining tan of the sea anymore to August, but it was the same marvelous without owing him to cover with a line of makeup. Me, that had gotten ready to receive her/it in shirt starched of tintoria, pant to cut English and vivacious moccasin, spiazzato has remained entirely.

«Wow, that elegance!» you/he/she has begun placing me a plastic envelope in hand.

Inside the envelope: a wrapping of spaghetti, three eggs and a beautiful I shear of smoked bacon.

«You like the Carbonara? I adore him! However if doesn't suit you can order indeed for telephone! »

«No, imagine Alice, the Carbonara goes very well! Rather, I would have had to imagine that you would have come adorned casual. I have dressed as a penguin me!»

«Are well! Do The shirts dress you to the great one, but if you feel yourself uncomfortable changed, no? Because you owe amounts something? Does he/she anchor you don't understand that it doesn't serve?»

I have changed.

While I was slipping me, behind the entry of the room, a less institutional t-shirt blue, I have observed Alice stir for the kitchen.

You/he/she has exclaimed «Instrument!»

I have answered «Ok.» And she has begun to give him to do.

You/he/she has opened the drawers where I held the silver wares, taken the glasses, recovered pot and frying pan, started boiling the water. It stirred as if we were coinquilini from a life, guessing without any uncertainty where to find what served her. There was not any line of intrusiveness in his/her gestures, there was not a crumb of impudence, but there was not even the insecurity and the doubt of the strangers in his to stir for the kitchen. It emanated only a great practical sense and a true genuineness in every action of his.

I/you/they are gone out of the room and I have said «Eccomi!»

You has smiled at me in bright way, doing really that smile, that" of the girl that laughs."

We have prepared the supper together and while I cut the bacon she beat the eggs; while she drained the pasta, I uncorked the wine. We were already a team.

This way we have dined in our first appointment and I have not served refined dishes in signed suits, but we have tasted the Carbonara and the red wine of my father as if there was not anything more normal, nothing more beautiful.

And to think how many times the run I had made complicated that brings to the simplicity.

Instead at that time with her I felt not to need other and I understood to have nearby a person to which I didn't have to strive to offer me nothing that I/you didn't want, and for this motive to give what I possessed.

It was as to be among friends, it was as to be with Mark.

Unbelievable as they resembled him.

To table, after a brief phase of initial study, I have slowly grown loose in the amiability of the discussion and I/you/they have slipped with Alice in a soft conversation, pleasant, free.

Speaking so with her, you/he/she is seemed me to begin to understand her/it and for this to mostly appreciate her/it.

Curious, I have asked even her thing you/they had combined his/her cousin and my two strampalatis friends to Leuca, but she has not wanted to confirm neither to deny my insinuations...

To say the truth, finished the supper there has been a moment in which I have risked to again fall in the obsession to have to favor my role. Useless to deny that I had gotten ready to that meeting with a particular attention. Music of foundation carefully choice, diffusion of the light opportunely modulated, underclothes of first level, hygiene personal course to incomparable standard. There has been a breaker in which I have considered that the being confined in my apartment with such an attractive girl demanded a some kind of result.

Cleared the table and filled the lavastoviglie, I have thought that I would have had to gather the occasion and to drag the girl that laughs on the Swedish matrimonial bed to reach the target, but I have not done him. Have stared at her in the eyes a second of too perhaps and of sudden have told her «Now go! I would never like to ruin everything this trying us with you as it would do one any!»

«Badly! A pochino I feared that the hormones departed you! But where do we go?»

«The purse that we go out take. I bring you in a special place! Should you trust me by now, no?»

«Mmm, ok!»

To Leuca, Alice had given me an important lesson on as to avoid to attribute him some roles.

With her" girl that laughs" nearby I have conducted my paid compact car in quarantadue comfortable monthly installments for four kilometers of comfortable curves, a distance and a run that I knew very well.

Reached destination I have exclaimed «Voilà!»

«Ah, the belvedere! Also I find him/it splendid!» you/he/she has confirmed Alice. Has you/he/she asked curious then «And because here?»

It didn't have all the blames in to wonder because I/you had dragged her in that place.

The belvedere was a place more than known to every inhabitant of the country on the lake, and if I/you had also wanted to surprise I would have had to bring in the daytime us Alice, when the scenery was very more suggestive and the light revealed in full the spaces distant of the opposite shores.

In effects however I didn't want in any way to try to impress her/it or to marvel her/it.

I wanted only that were there, us two.

I have opened the door of the auto and without saying a word I/you/they have gone down lighting up me a cigarette; Alice has made the same thing, but without smoking.

The air by now cold of September seemed an advance in winter and the damp puffs of wind they caressed the perimeters of our figures looking for, in the overlaps of the summer fabrics still, passages whether to slip himself/herself/themselves and to provoke a shiver. They were not that dark shades the mountains that surrounded him/it and to read the vibrating lights of tide that reflected him on his/her surface; nothing upset him/it and nothing has perhaps bumped never him. Nothing will certainly upset never at night that cold and black mirror that silent mystery that we in the daytime call lake.

«I have brought here you because this place has a lot to tell me.»

«On you?»

«I think whether to want well to see, every person has a place, a space, a territory defined that you/he/she tells of itself. Don't you believe? Beh, this is mine!»

«You intend a proper space? Your space?»

«More proper in sense of possession I would say... personal! You see, I know for a long time this knoll and I could tell you thousand anecdotes lived here. There done sit for example on that spiazzo, have I given the first kiss to a girl, do you know?»

«Beautiful! Do I/you/he/she still remember of it? But then you are a romanticone!»

«Yes... in short... to thirteen. in dark we had employed to lot of time to arrive until here afoot... vabbè, leaves alone. Once next to that hole Gianca is fallen with the moped... twelve points have put him.»

«However!»

«With Mark... on that bench we came there to study in summer. Oddio, is not that we studied a lot, but he liked to read to the open one.»

«And to you?»

«I, didn't like to read! Neither to the open one, neither to the closed one!»

«From the? And to say that you have the bookstore!»

«My father has the bookstore. Poveretto, has been for him a notable effort to impose to read me at least the great classical!»

«And has you/he/she succeeded there?»

«In effects yes! I read quite a lot, sopratutto in the last years!»

«I adore Alexander Baricco!»

«It seemed you!»

«Eh?»

«No, nothing, is alone that it is my preferred author. Oh, every time seems to do he/she waits for him/it!»

«Thing?»

«Anticipate me! It is unbelievable but you have the power to say the things that I would like to feel to tell you!»

«Ahahahah.»

«In that square excavated David has done him for the first time. You were a monster... it seems me that it called Selene... boh, one of Milan in vacation... and he also boasted him, would have had to feel him/it! It said that you/they would have had to place a plate of recognition in that square!»

«You?»

«Absurd, it is so conceited that...»

«They will miss you, true?»

«So much. Excuse, is that I don't even become me I count that end always with to speak of my friends.»

«Not to worry you, is beautiful to feel to speak to you of them and they is gathered so many things on you from as you tell of it.»

«Indeed?»

«Yes. After all the first time that I have met you I have understood to the flight that you were a lot...»

«Very?»

«Very... only!»

«Very only? You seem Chicken!»

«Ahahahah, will be your presence that makes me ungrammatical! No, indeed I said, that are special! It immediately jumps to the eye!»

«But in that sense?»

«The groups of young males usually involve as a small flock. Even if in stylized way, they maintain characteristics and coarse reflexes, primordial. You, to study well you, more than a flock you seemed a whole organs that worked for an only system.»

«To study well us? Organs for a system? But what do you say? Do you speak as a zoologist?»

«Oddio Paolo, is rambling! You are right!»

Alice was excited while she was speaking.

It not only suffered him/it the eccentricities of his/her definitions, but also from the way with which it looked for in the dark my eyes, from the folds slightly more uncertain than he/she took his/her smile from the gesture to continually move himself/herself/themselves the hair from the forehead.

Time later you/he/she would have revealed me that had been suffering for that evening you/he/she had understood that would be enamored of me.

After all the women know him/it.

However I have not surrendered to the temptation some vain to make the emotion notice her but rather I have started «Sai Alice, has brought here because this is the place where from more than ten years I come to ask me questions.»

«And which questions do you do yourself?»

«Beh, those that do him everybody! It is the place where me am always refugee when I had need to think, to understand.»

«To understand what?»

«Who am. And if, what I become in the time, coincides with what I would have liked to be...»

«And does it coincide?»

«Beh, to say a lot not the truth. Years I have given to intend to strive me to be me more reagent, more concrete in to choose the type of life that I felt more mine, but I have concluded with to run aground me in the abstract thought of desires that you/they seem unattainable, in the reflection pure end to herself.»

«Concluded? Have not concluded! How can you think about having concluded something?»

«Yes, beh, up to I now intended.»

«If nothing else are aware of it! It is already something to look inside him same and to understand to have to improve. You now have to improve you!»

«You will understand, and as he does?»

«Difficult to say him/it, but I believe that to improve if same is directly tied to do, and not only to analyze. Certainly, risking himself/herself/itself there is the risk to fall in the errors, but I believe that the tied up errors to the possession tried to be best are absolutely remediable or in every case pardonable. No?»

«Alice seems indeed Mark! Do you speak as does he, think as he, is not that you are relatives?»

«Stupid!»

«It is clear that you are right Mark and you to see her/it in this way, but it is not so simple to bathe himself/herself/themselves in the things. Don't you for example know, how much would I like to change job, but as it does him to leave a sure place, even done envy, for something uncertain?»

«You don't like thing of the job that you now do?»

«Believe me, it is not a whim, but I would change everything. They are years that I try disgust for the people with which I collaborate, for the total absence of morality in the activities that we have to develop and for the face it toasts, the constant hypocrisy of the official behaviors to be held. If I think it the voltastomaco it comes me.»

«And cannot the things be modified?»

«Impossible.»

«Then changes! Rather start to put you in condition to change! Certain passages must be made with calm! You keep in mind that the job is at the base of many aspects of the life and you/he/she cannot be thrown to the air a stable employment for the first difficulty. But if the things are so harvest badly it begins to be recettivo toward a possibility of alternative. It is that the first footstep, to be open to the change!»

«Yes, I have understood, but it is not a walk. However we change discourse, I don't feel like absorbing all of your patience telling you my paranoias.»

«You know that I like to listen to you.»

«Yes, but I don't want you to be always to feel mine fixed! Beginning to have cold, that says of it if we return in car?»

To complain so with Alice to our first appointment you/he/she had made me feel for the nth time a weak and a capricious immature. He/she remembered me the last times when I had gone to make visit to Mr. Mario and him you/he/she had scolded me for my softness.

This way we are gone up again on my compact car as to go. I had the impression not to have been able to recreate the same magic of the night of Leuca and I had begun to try an incomprehensible hurry to want to close our meeting. In more, I believed that Alice was tired of the evening.

Have I asked her «we Go?»

«Ok, if you want!» you/he/she has suddenly answered detached.

I have inserted then the keys in the block of lighting and I have started the motor, then I don't know the, why, verse I have turned her and I have kissed her.

You, again in tuning with me, you/he/she has left that I did and you/he/she has granted that slowly our languages met him, that timidly our mouths were explored, up to melt himself/herself/themselves the one with the other.

I have stopped the motor, I have fixed in the eyes Alice Boffi and from quegl'occhi I have understood that the evening would be prolonged of a lot.

We spoke, we kissed us, but we didn't go further never to the passion of the gestures; even if anything said it gradually assumed us the definite tones of a full confession, volute, desired. In that dark car, above the belvedere that scrutinized the lake, there are reported defects, weakness, awareness and hopes of each of us with the whole most greater possible honesty, with the whole purity of whom would be able not to meet again more.

By now absorbed in the night, I/you/they have succeeded in doing so that also Alice he/she spoke some itself.

You has been to the game and, even if you/he/she would have been able to lie or to misguide considering the intimacy of the questions that I was able her, pushed therer in depth, more I warned what it desired that remained there: in the secretiveness of the words that you/they are not told anybody.

It was as if a bridge was stretched among us, a connection through which the truths of every were free to pass to the other; to go, to return or simply to stay himself/herself/themselves suspended.

Alice has given me lines of itself that I would not even have been able to realize alone and you/he/she has delivered me so personal secret to embarrass me.

Thinking well of us, we would have been able so much to burn us with the aggressiveness of a way of knowing him vehement, but we didn't try fear, simply we perceived the trust that, giving so much of itself, we put back each towards the other.

Declaring then in departure the papers in possession, we enjoyed both some advantage to avoid us losses of time.

In this way for the whole night we are explored in such a deep contact by to reach the point to exchange us the souls there.

And we have remained in that place for times, without any imposition, isolated and happy as small deserters from the daily war of the time that goes, until the necessity of the sleep you/he/she has not torn us from that is suspended.

I have accompanied again Alice up to his/her auto under house my anchor incredulous than happened.

I felt me to float and, even if I could not conceive how much that girl would have twisted me in positive the life, I understood to have crossed my run with a special person.

Before it went have I asked her «And now that happens?»

«Only what will want us! When I see you Paul again?»

«When you want Alice. Every time that you want. Also now!»

«Now» she has responded, for then to smile at that way all his/her.

«From the I go, it is slow.»

«Hi girl that laughs, thanks for the beautiful evening!»

«Hi Paul Orlando, has been also a stupendous evening for me, better than I hoped!»

And you/he/she has been climbed in car, fast to disappear after all behind the curve to the road, almost nearer than the usual one in the light of the dawn of that September Saturday.

To that first official meeting of ours many others have followed of it; all characterized by long visceral conversations, landscapes to be gazed and to discuss, insatiable kisses, breaks of thought and abrupt accelerations of feeling. For different time, the fullness of the time passed with Alice Boffi has even inhibited my sexual pulsionis toward her. It is not that the desire missed in physical terms, it was alone that the demand I didn't feel to go further to the contact, I didn't warn the necessity or the need to amplify in practical way I exchange him/it continuous been born among us.

It was as if I had everything being simply with her, as if I found the whole world inside his/her eyes.

Then an evening, in the square of the belvedere that David would have liked titled to his/her name, has happened that our bodies met him, they were infinitely mixed for brief once and infinitely long: without measure.

Nothing to want to remove from none of the preceding ones, but that night of sex I could define her/it my first time: my first time this way.

You/he/she has been so vibrating to be been miraculous, so much exceptional that when we are separated there and we have been absorbed in the sweat and in the warm odor of our desires, I have believed to be able to die.

«I started to be afraid not to interest you, or that you were gay. Beh, evidently of it one of it the other! Badly!» Alice has sigh hastily dressing again himself/herself/itself to return home. After having done him/it, we had remained for times to caress us silent thin to put to sleep us and we woke up to a maddish schedule there.

«No that I am not gay! But it looks at you this!»

«From the Paul, you know that I like to pick you.»

«Eheheh, by now I begin to know you beautiful my! But this whole hurry? You can sleep from me if you want, tomorrow so much he doesn't work!»

The sentence is finished, hardly I am reformed to have asks him it.

Because with Alice, to the origin of our history, I have suffered quite a lot of the fear to tie too much me and

me it has taken many months because I stopped being so selfish to want to enjoy both of the beneficent scanzonatis of the free being and without ties, that of the marvelous intimacies been born to be with her.

Looking back me I can justify that period with Alice, made of escapes and resumptions as the logical consequence of the dreadful habit to which the precedents relationships had conducted me.

I feared a lot that one day, looking at to smile her/it" girl that laughs", I would have seen only a facial expression and not more a prodigy. Luckily has not happened and Alice Boffi has taught me, it teaches me every day with the patience of the love that you/they have only the women, how much unbelievable liberty can be reached in the sharing of a project with a person that is loved.

After all, had not I ever feared to tie too much me to a friend, because I would have had to fear to tie me with that unbelievable person?

However that evening, our first time, Alice refused the proposal.

«No, I cannot sleep from you. In forty days I discuss the thesis, I still have to end her/it!»

«Ok, as you want!»

«And it looks that I would not even have come there if I/you had not been busy anything to sleep with you!»

«And because it excuses?»

«I don't know of precise because, but I feel to have to build with calm this thing of us two. I feel him/it! Sooner or later I will understand perhaps it!»

Among the fundamental necessities that for the growth of a small bud are needed, the hurry is not contemplated.

This lesson, together with a lot of others, we would have understood her being together.

### 3. You give to remember.

Saturday October 13 th. The black sky above our heads didn't promise anything of good person, even if of fact didn't rain.

We are found again there, after telephone accord, in front of the front door of villa Innocentini where Mark would have received relatives and friends before the ceremony.

Despite they had been living by now together for months, Simona had insisted because to the function they arrived separated, as it demanded the tradition. I believe that Mark not well he/she understood the motivations of such application, but as always you/he/she had favored the wills of his/her wife considering the little work that the gesture involved.

Parked the car (perfectly wash) in front of the front door of entry, I have marveled not to be the first one to reach the appointment. Chicken and Gianca, unthinkable thing up to few months they were already before in front of the gate of the villa, and they smoked nervous attending my appearance.

I/you/they have gone down from the car and I/you/they have gone toward the two with footsteps similar to a run. It was departed only a week from the inauguration of" Fantasy world", but the same was me missed quite a lot the presence of the strange couple and to see together them again thrilled me.

They were the 9.00 of the morning, but Gianca already possessed a radiant condition.

Uprooted to the perfection, pizzetto curatissimo, impeccable tan, wore an elegant suit reed of rifle in fresh wool and a bright blue shirt of Italian tailoring, broken by the tie in pure silk of a grey different calcolatamente from the suit.

You/he/she could seem even pleasant the good dressed Gianca so, and also me that I had had particular respect in to prepare me to the event of the year I didn't reach such an elevated level of elegance.

«Cazzo Gianca! A patrimony a suit of the kind will be cost you! He/she kills, he/she is seen that to sell statuettes him imborghesisce there!» I have exclaimed joky before embracing him/it convinced.

«My beautiful Eheheh, the image counts! Eccome if it counts!» you/he/she has replied him reciprocating the embrace.

«Not to pay him attention, that if it didn't find that unbelievable sale to Cesena, it came us in overall to the marriage!» Chicken is inserted annoyingly pushing me in its typical way of greeting.

Poor Chicken, in him the aesthetical taste you didn't even find him/it scraping off the barrel.

Unfortunately he/she is not known, how, you/he/she had found again the railroader shirt lost on the camper during the trip to the bachelorhood and, for the occasion, it proposed her/it approaching her/it to a blue suit in everything and for everything similar to the uniform of ordinance of an any company of transport.

«Good Chicken! You yes that have style instead! Then with those scarpettes of black pellaccia usurata and that beautiful yellow cravattina... it misses you correct the bonnet and the obliteratrice to complete the estate!»

«I had also told him me not to present himself/herself/themselves to Mark's marriage dressed as a ragamuffin, but you know how you/he/she is done... it is really dull!» Gianca has backed up me.

«You forget... what?» you/he/she has confusedly mentioned him before we invited him/it to lasciar to lose and we decided there to enter.

To ring the bell of house Innocentini has reminded me the distant period when, children with the ball under the arm, went to play in the garden of Mark. Years and years later removed David in Australia, we were there still, exactly the same, to participate in his/her marriage.

Once opened the great gate in beaten iron, contrarily to how much I expected me, you/he/she has not received us the Teutonic mother of Mark on the contrary Mr. Innocentini.

The father of Mark, that led composed on the door of house with to serve as maitre of great hotel, confirmed even more the impression of solidity and certainty that you/he/she usually provoked in us when we met him.

Similar to the lieutenant Colombo (but without squint), the way voice and the calm of a Buddhist bonze, in years of respectful knowledge other I would not have known how to say of him if not that it was indeed a good person.

«Ah, is you! Good morning boys! Mark is in his/her old room, you/he/she is ending to dress himself/herself/themselves. Entrances! There is a small refreshment in stay, arrange you...» you/he/she has pronounced synthetic Mr. Innocentini and us, burdens in subjection in front of him, has granted always the application.

House Innocentini was entirely similar to as I remembered her/it, cleaning up, a lot of ordinate and generally bare of what was not essential. Only the books abounded almost for the whole living room and us n'erano how much in the bookstore of my father, of all the types and dimensions. The father of Mark loved to meticulously catalog them with numerical labels and I doesn't even know if you/he/she had read them all but the same fact to possess a capital to know so much vast you/he/she was for him clear motive for pride.

We were in clean advance on the rest of the guests and, before the bell started playing to frequent and regular intervals, we have enjoyed some refreshment in solitary, observing the mother of Mark that, nervously busy in the preparations, you/he/she has politely greeted us but with few suitable.

Chicken is poured a nonalcoholic cocktail while Gianca and I, at 9.15 o'clock, we carburized with the prosecco.

Then Mark has arrived.

Has entered the great room of house Innocentini at the same time to the arrival in the door of a first small gruppetto of guests and has immediately exclaimed «Hi boys! You apologize for the delay and you excuse if I won't be behind you, but soon this house will be full of relatives and it won't be understood us void. Pazientates until the witnesses don't arrive, then I promise you that immediately depart toward the church! Badly that there are at least you!»

It was not to his/her ease Mark and he/she spoke as if it had to justify him to our eyes to have consented to a formal marriage and it was had to make to forgive a delay that didn't have and an unpleasantness that had not leastly given us.

Dressed by ceremony, however elegant in the doppiopetto chalked that his/her father had made him do custom, you/he/she was so young in the appearance to result anymore to glimpse a confirming that a bridegroom.

«Oh, but that you have? Do you also worry yourself for us to your party? You are calm, we wait who owe and we move there with all the calm!» you/he/she has encouraged him curiously Gianca.

«Not to do lead at all you! Rather, among the German cousins, is there some beautiful gnocca?» you/he/she has continued Chicken.

«Thing is? Is not there David and the hungry one of turn you do him/it you?» Gianca has taken back him.

«Ah... David! You/he/she has already called me at seven and half o'clock of this morning to congratulate, you/he/she has said that it phones again then us!» Mark has sigh.

Have I asked him «And as it is? How is it found?»

«That large head! Has not wanted to tell me void! You is impuntato on the fact that today, since it is my party of marriage, we would not have had to speak of other. And there has been no way of doing to reason him/it, neh!» you/he/she has replied Mark.

«The usual Fool!» you/he/she has added Gianca.

Then in the saloon the guests that we had felt to arrive have appeared and Mark has quickly gotten used to smear his/her own attentions and his/her own words toward the entries that succedutis are him.

At 10.00 o'clock the witnesses of the bridegroom have arrived: two first degree cousins from mother, Karl and Michael or something of the kind.

Mark had wanted them as you testify, splendidly applying the theories of Adam on the utility of the choice. For first thing, tradition wants that the witnesses are two to head, and if Mark had drawn to the basin of the friendships of long date for strength two of us you/they would have been discarded. Besides, Fritz and Michael, or as devil they called, they were the direct descendants of the iron empire created by his/her/their uncle. Accordingly, calculating that the tradition always imposed the most binding gifts to the witnesses, Mark it avoided to burden on our pockets going to fish in wells well more depths.

Once ascertained that we were all presents, Mr. Innocentini has invited all the participants to set out toward the church of the adjacent to commune the lake where the ceremony would be developed.

Me, Gianca and Chicken we have reached our destination using an only mean, aware that, times later, the abstinence from the alcohol of Chicken would have been the only guarantee for the return in safety.

A lot of time had been passing for the last time which I had entered in a church and of the places of cult I didn't remember but the suffocating odor of burnt incenses, the eternal breaks of the sermons of Don Gianni, the notes fenced by the old myopic organist and the gossipy confabulations of the ladies bejeweled in the central lines.

Giving worths to Simona, true organizer of the function, I could sustain that you/he/she had succeeded in turning the church into different place from my stereotype an almost pleasant place.

You/he/she had first of all had a preference for the freshest and bright chapel of the country, besides you/he/she had been able to avoid nauseating excesses of fresh flowers, embellishing the three small aisles with the narrow necessary: white, yellow and pink camellias. Arranged with the priest you sing that were not heavy archaic litanies, you/he/she had gotten that a small choir gospel of six elements accompanied by classical guitar and electric organ got by and interpreted the pieces.

We have crossed the threshold entry on the notes of" Oh happy days", thing not to be believed.

Subsequently the rite is initiated and from that moment and for the whole ceremony I have started to look for, to gather and to record the expressions of the protagonists, perlomeno every element of visible emotion.

Simona was evidently the most excited and stared at the priest celebrant as him same talking herself to God, as if the voice of that man opened an ultramundane channel. I was aware that his was a sincere faith, true. We had sometimes spoken also of it Mark and him and I you/he/she was thrilled in to tell as his/her wife he/she believed in a deprived way of elements of rigid morality or bigotry, and how much above all he/she believed without the conception of the profit according to which, following religious directives, it earns us a prize to consume post-death: the faith as investment on the future.

To test of the fact that Simona was not so much then orthodox, there was for example the particular one that he/she got married him a fifth month of pregnancy. To say the truth is not that he/she was seen a lot, he by now Mrs Innocentini was of slender constitution and during the interesting state you/he/she had not taken a granché of weight. It had certain the belly but the splendid suit color whipped cream that opened only on her shoulders, bandaged her/it to sufficiency to disguise the fruit of the love with Mark that brought in the abdomen.

On the altar, beside Simona, in the health and in the illness, in the good one and in the bad fate, there was my friend Mark. Perhaps the emotion also arrives for him, but the same didn't give the impression to be in tension. It was serious, but not rigid; careful, but not contract; and while the priest recommended him with the two bridegrooms you get married on the duties and on the responsibilities that would have had to sustain, he listened assembled as him same reading a manual of instructions or as if you/he/she followed a recipe in tv. In that, in not to make to slip out too much the states of mind, it was entirely similar to his/her mother, that three more files behind assisted to the marriage of the only child as a statue of salt. Mark's father instead, Mr. Innocentini, to work it held back that melancholy awareness to have to child by now adult, by now himself father, and it continually touched him the hair as to verify that there were still and that they were the same hair that it had from boy.

For the rest the ceremony didn't offer great rushes of emotionalism.

The parents of Simona were for me unknown and illegible creatures and I would never have been able to say what he hid behind the weeping hidden ache of his/her/their mother or in the severe and firm look of his/her/their father.

Uncles, aunts, relatives, cousins, friends and the whole rest of the participants were silent and sad, true or presumed Catholics, however at that time faithful never, as he/she wants the tradition.

In this sense the Germans, the German branch of the family of Mark, slightly differed. I don't know if it were only suggestion, but they gave the impression to be more present in the rite, more absorbed in the meaning of the event, more on the piece.

We there was to complete the cast three: the usual friends.

I, that had thought continuosly about on the that marriage for months, oddly found me to rouse the emotions in the others; Gianca, perfectly encapsulated in the suit of cry, it repeatedly looked at the clock trying to understand when you/he/she would again have been free to supply him of prosecco; Chicken raced behind the prayers in the way that you/they have to beg not the practising while, not to be able to believe us, he/she cried to I hijack.

Account I/you/they are made of it while it was reciting the" I believe."

«I believe in an only God, adre nipotente, tore el ielo and of the errs...»

«Pssss, if don't know the words you are able only also to move the mouth, there is no need that the echo does, arrivals in deferred...» I have whispered him bending the head next to his/her ear.

«Keep silent that I like this! And it looks that it is not that I don't know her/it, I don't remember well only her to me!» you/he/she has whispered him of rhyming.

«Oh, but do you want to end her/it you two? We are in the church!» you/he/she has scolded us the faultless Gianca, lifting as however the tone of the voice we had not done us until then.

So also the ceremony, moment had been attending for months, has slipped away fast as only the attended moments they know how to slip: promise - exchange of the faiths - song gospel. communion - all out and goings in peace.

On the church square, laughed to the hand waiting for the exit, Chicken piangiucchiava still in that sincere way and some childish.

«Chicken, but do you want to plant her/it to cry? Seem entirely me stupid.»

«I am not crying, I am alone moved. Mark, our Mark, is married!»

«Disarming perspicacity! And as have you understood him? I should nickname you Sherlock!» I have ironizzato I, pleasantly surprised however of so much sensibility from the strangest of my friends.

«Enough you two! You prepare the rice that you/they arrive!» he is again inserted Gianca version" judicious boy", and it is a sin that had the palms of the hands full of rice up to strabordare and a pouch of escort brought from house. Since, for how much you/he/she would have been able to strive himself/herself/themselves to build for itself a new formal and unexceptionable image, from the details it was clearly understood that Gianca would have remained forever a big playful, a big baby in tie.

To the restaurant, after the three of a kind of first and before the three of a kind of seconds, David has succeeded in contacting Mark.

Already enough tipsy, in a break from the food, I was smoking in the beautiful nineteenth-century courtyard of the immense villa wanted by the bridegrooms (from Simona), together with Gianca.

Chicken, slightly by us, it inhumanly strove him to communicate in German with a cousin of Mark. Of sudden my jail cell rings, but I has not hypothesized that you/he/she could be Alice, she never called me; rather looking at the display I have tried the suspicion that the numbers with unknown prefixes know how to provoke. It was David.

«Ready?»

«Heads of cazzo patentate, as is it there? Is there figa?»

«Hi David! Certainly that also you there are missed a lot, just as we are you missed us!»

«Not to make the perfettino of the cazzo! The bridegroom, our bridegroom, where is it? Is it in form? How is it dressed by penguin?»

«Zinzi I find you beautiful lively, eh! Mark is to the table with his/her wife, you/they are ending the first ones!»

«Pass him/it to me goes! What I want to greet him/it!»

«David, Mark is having lunch to his/her marriage, is not that can enter room and to howl" Marko teleffono!" as it did on mother...»

«Fuck! Do I call from a million kilometers of distance and do you tell me to wait? You see to recover him/it.»

To say him/it misses I, the first words English that I felt to pronounce to David were insults. I was not able whether to reach Mark.

I/you/they have reentered and I have cut the completely white saloon toward the table of the bridegrooms; I felt me observed.

Done approach me to the table with subjection, have I stuttered «Mark, has David phoned for you, does he want to greet you, can you go out a second?»

He has smiled, verse is turned his/her wife and you/he/she has whispered her «Arrival love!»

Gone out, you/he/she has taken the call with a true enthusiasm.

«David! I feel now you that are in Australia of when you were qua!Sì... yes... everything well... Mah, knows that Simona cared to the ceremony... However you/he/she is not going badly... Yes, they are all here... Beh, Chicken is trying us with my cousin, but to judge from her eyes is the usual two of spites... But you?... You give at least some sweet... Do you learn the English?... Uffa you are the usual stubborn... Ok, ok I understand... It is all right I greet them to you me... Hi Zinzi!» And you/he/she has attacked again.

This way we have remained with Mark the time of a cigarette and obviously all we have proposed him the questions to which he/she patiently answered from the beginning of day.

«How it feels it about marrying himself/herself/themselves?»

«You have slept tonight?»

«When you depart for the trip of wedding?»

«Yours are happy?»

Him however you/he/she has not answered with the typical boldness that we waited for there, rather, a discourse has started unexpectedly recovered from who knows where, almost declaiming him/it as was a revelation. Probable that had need to unload some tension.

«Boys I frankly speak to you. I know him/it, we know him/it everybody that the love is a combustion feeling and won't be some one contract, neither a child, to feed there perpetually that fire that ties me to the woman that waits me to the table of. But I will undertake me, I guarantee him/it to you, I feel that I will undertake at the most me, for the whole life, because this love is never grown weak. I promise him/it in front of you!»

And there was a conviction and a steadiness in his/her eyes not to leave space to any kind of doubt. I/you/they have been immovable, surprised by so much certainty, and I have thought that also for the blows of frankness disattesa as this I considered my friend Mark a superior man to the average.

Has Chicken asked him serious then «Mark, but are you already drunk?»

And him, returned on a more normal plan, you/he/she has invited us to reenter for keeping on enjoying us the party.

The marriage of Mark and Simona you/he/she has been the definitive watershed between a season and the other, in all the senses, just as I was waited for a long time after all me.

After the event the days, the months are slow and dense scivolanti as the winter, without sensational woodpeckers, but you load the same of new customs and important transformations. As I have already said, you/he/she has been during that period that I have intensified my relationship with Alice. During the autumn and the winter our appointments are grown with exponential rhythm and, for how much undeniable is that the separation arrived with the entourage of the narrow friends favored our hookup, I am sure to be able to affirm that the time passed with Alice exclusively matured from the wish and from the pleasure to see her/it, less that never from the absence of alternatives to the loneliness.

This way has happened that plain pian we slept together, that had lunch together, that woke together there, and sometimes that we went together with to make visit to the family Innocentini, to the family of Mark.

Alice didn't know Simona before our destinies were crossed, but the same the two women had begun to interweave a relationship of mutual liking, perhaps partly reflex of the great friendship that tied me and Mark.

Alice and I were not an official couple yet, but for how much we denied to have a stable bond, it was evident that sooner or later our relationship would have suffered from the necessity to define him and that for strength you/he/she would have run into an evolution: positive or negative that was.

I remember that particularly Simona fed numerous doubts on the indefinibilità of the relationship among me and the girl that it laughs, and in the numerous times when it had the intellectual honesty (and the face toasts) to openly criticize my indecision toward a precise position, I responded her that with Alice" we were not anything" and perhaps for this" we were everything." Of certain I was not believable neither for her, neither for Mark, but the same I strove me to defend with unlikely virtuosities of logic that principle second which Alice and I would have" worked" only if you free from the label of" official couple."

They also touches woodpeckers of pure irrationality not to admit the truth of the times.

In February, another date falls powerful as a boulder, a miliary stone in the history of the lives that you/they are crossed.

On February 7 - Thursday morning - times 10.23 - department of maternity of the more hospital next to the lake - third floor - fourth grade brings to the right - room 102: Martina Innocentini has arrived.

Mark, that had removed from itself every trace of reason in the preceding day to the birth and you/he/she phoned rotation to different experts asking information on the risks and recommendations on the procedures to hold for a good result of the operation, has finally returned to reason; and when you/he/she has realized that in the three scarce kilograms of his small there was no anybody trace of discomfort, but the shine of the life that explodes, has succeeded only in contacting him/it.

«Hello? Oh but then? You never answered me, I began to worry me!»

«Paul was born! Was born, Paul! Paul is nat...»

«Have understood, calm, calm! Has everything been all right?»

«Yes.»

«You are in the hospital?»

«Yes.»

«Simona everything well? Is it well?»

«Yes, yes.»

«Ok, arrival!»

It is in the twenty minutes of journey between the job and the small Martina I was not in the skin anymore.

Me, that was not even a distant relative, but that I already felt me uncle.

Have called Alice because reached me to the third floor, room 102; have called my mother, have told her that the child was very beautiful, without having not even seen her/it, on the trust, and to warn dad and Henry; have called Chicken and Gianca «Tell the first possible David, let's be all uncles! I am going on!»

Unbelievable the impact of that unaware arrival, even more unbelievable to see her/it: her, Martina.

I/you/they have entered the room 102 completely disorientated by the frenzy of the rooms that you/they are found in the departments of maternity. However odor of hospital, but different, more pleasant.

Mr. Innocentini and the mother of Mark, the parents of Simona, in practice the" the grandparent block" to the suit, they were as soon as inside the room and you/they have realized me with happy smiles.

«Paul, has arrived!» you/he/she has said even the mother of Mark with a rush of tenderness that I would never have done her and as if in a certain sense me same waiting.

After all, next to the window from which it filtered a timid light invernale,c'erano Mark and Simona, with Martina.

Strange and perhaps as usual exaggerated, but it was as if every icon of the nativity, every Christmas figure never sight, every picture raffigurante the birth, condensed there him, in that image of them on the bed together. They missed correct the ox and the asinello.

I have drawn near slow as not to disturb and there was her, wound by the pink microscopic vestitino and by the tired braccias of Simona.

I have whispered «Boys, are very beautiful!»

Because it was him/it, and it was him/it very more of that children that it is said" it is a beautiful child" but in effects it is a mostriciattolo. Martina was very beautiful with objectivity, aldilà of the beautiful one that it likes, very more in the beautiful one in how much beautiful: the beautiful indisputable.

Mark has lifted from the bed and meeting has come me, it was calm and you/he/she has talked again me to its calmness, even if less disposition and decidedly reorganized.

I/you/they have remained to observe the small one without saying nothing for few minutes, then again with extreme originality I has felt like confirming surprised «it is very beautiful indeed!»

To that point Simona, that was twisted indeed, you/he/she has suggested to me and Mark to go out to take some air that the grandparent would have remained to make her company.

We are gone out and we are stopped there as soon as out of the principal entry of the hospital: the open space where the reunited broncopaticis smoke assatanati as soon as distant from coffee's distributors taken of assault by the ipertesis and those of merendine laid a trap by the diabetics.

«Then as you feel yourself? Dad!»

«This thing I believe really not to be able to explain her/it! A miracle is unbelievable, it doesn't have other name. You know, until you/he/she was not born I believe not to be never me of it rhesus really account. The visits, the house, the cohabitation, the marriage, has been everything so fast, everything so pressing to never be succeeded in fully grabbing thing means to become father. It is there instead now, and it seems me that there is no nient'altro to the world, nothing for which is worth to exist if not her. Simona in this sense was very more aware, the women feel him/it, they bring inside that thing that for them it is already a finished sense with gradualness; for me you/he/she has been as an explosion and I am so disoriented from so much happiness that I don't understand anything.»

«Beh, that there are not with the head will have been being for a good week! This morning goes crazy to try to call you!»

«Ahahahah, excuse! But indeed Paul, cannot understand what happens at that time. Understand only it if I/you/he/she pass us, rather I wish you to pass soon us!»

«But what jokes? Me? No, we allow to lose, difficulty now to mind myself without being afraid to grow, imagine, I would not be never ready for a child!»

«Not to believe! I am them, when they are born, to amounts to be ready! But I am sure that you will arrive there!»

«Boh, by now is clear that everything can happen! But we leave that the things arrive for degrees. Rather, you now? When you return home?»

«Beh, seems that tomorrow discharges tomorrow at the most later her. You/he/she has been a manual birth and Simona you/he/she has perfectly reacted!»

«Diminish her, they feel so many!»

«Allows to lose! The only thought that could happen something to Simona, or to my daughter, it made me die. It is so minuscule, so fragile that would like to be able to mend her/it from every evil of the world. Even idea to go to the job and alone lasciar my women scares me!»

«Oddio, not to become apprehensive however!»

«Are right, but I feel that I will have to complete a notable effort not to be him/it! Be my daughter Paul! »

«Have understood, and is normal that you feel yourself so, but not to forget you that can never calculate every thing! Did you have to know him/it no? And then... anyway the wind blows... memoirs?»

«Eheh... correct, it doesn't make a fold!»

«And if Freddie tells him/it...»

«But Freddie who? Freddy Krueger? Ahahahah!» Mark has joked monkeying then the poor man dull Chicken. Almost at the same time, as a sign of the telepathy that ties us, the jail cell is played him. They were really them: Chicken and Gianca!

While Mark talked to the strange couple, again excited in to tell the birth of Martina, I have perceived the figure of Alice draw near from the parking lot of the hospital. You/he/she had arrived.

Not as soon as you/he/she has reached us, Mark has greeted the two crazy person closing the phone call, you/he/she has embraced her enthusiastic and you/he/she has exclaimed «That two... frightening! Badly that with the full shop they didn't succeed in being too much to the telephone!»

«Full shop?» I have asked then perplexed.

«Altroché! Gianca says that this month has been maddish!»

«From the? I would never be imagined him/it to me!»

«I wait to sing victory, but it seem really that is turning him!»

«Behs, are happy!»

«Hope, so they also mature them! You give now we salt that Alice will want to see Martina!» you/he/she has observed therefore Mark with the classical hurry, and while we were climbing the staircases up to the third one, room 102, Chicken and Gianca are imagined me you mature, even with children, and the goose bumps has come me from the fear that indeed could happen a misfortune similar to the planet.

So also Alice saw Martina and subsequently also Chicken and Gianca saw her/it and they remained completely abducted of it. Later, months later, in circumstances that nobody would have liked they were ever created, also David embraced the small Martina.

Only that all was changed unfortunately.

### 4. The terrible day.

It has rained the whole day.

And even if toward evening the sky is cleared as often happens in the sunsets of June from these parts on the lake, the air is still cold; and inexorably damp.

Mark extinguishes the portable one and inserts him/it in the case box. It is distorted, because you/he/she has remained to the telephone mezz'ora without besides resolving nothing, with that stupid some office purchases of that big Milanese firm that the truth to say is the most important client of the firm Innocentini.

Maddish, they want to still buy to smaller prices, and if the Innocentini won't succeed in being more competitive, they swear to turn to the Asian market, where everything costs less.

The crisis he is making to feel of ugly in this period, and even if in television the usual political optimists of the cabbage solemnly announce that the worse it is by now to the shoulders, the small firms as the Innocentini continue to arrancare or worse to fail. Mark however it doesn't lose the calm, it is good in his/her job and he/she knows that the times will change in better sooner or later, despite that usual our cabbage of political. He, that has of smell of it, warns that the turn could arrive even this year.

In every case you/he/she should not worry too much himself/herself/themselves; even if they failed, the investments done in the years' 80 from Mr. Innocentini would guarantee to his/her family and he the same quality of life for other 50 yearses.

But Mark is not us, and you/he/she would never be us; he is master of his/her choices and he will succeed in holding standing the firm of family, he knows him/it.

However it is tired. Because the night he doesn't sleep, and a four month-old child steals sleep as nient'altro she knows how to do, sopratutto now that you/he/she is sick. Nothing serious, has the fever and the nasino full of catarrh, things from babies, but however annoyingly worrisome for his/her/their parents.

They play the 20.00 broken, Mark it is late. It doesn't have to do nothing of programmed, but you/he/she was intended to detach before the usual one to give strong hand to Simona, even if she is a woman it toasts that it doesn't even mention never to complain about himself/herself/themselves.

Mark turns the keys in the picture of the German derision that is done from not too long.

It exaggeratedly is not a luxurious car, but it hardly possesses standard of comfort and reliability ritrovabili to that price, further to have for a long time an appreciable aesthetical line.

It takes the road for house, he/she would like to make himself/herself/themselves a cigarette, but it doesn't smoke a lot of because of the child and of sure it would not turn on him in car imbuing the cabin of toxic air.

Few kilometers to finally arrive to house; the road is that usual, transited thousand of times: a pair of curves, an along rectilinear, another series of curves and finally house.

It begins the along rectilinear holding the 100 hourly kms, it is oddly out of the limit, even if not of a lot. It extracts from the door objects a case box of cardboard: candy to the Swiss grasses. It opens the case box using only the right hand, he/she takes a candy, it puts her/it in mouth. It always closes again the box with the same hand, but the scatoletta falls him.

It decelerates, but of few, too much little.

It unties the safety belt and it begins to look for the case box fallen him on the rug, always only with the right hand.

Don't find him/it.

They are the 20.15 and in June there is still a weak light, yet the same doesn't succeed in understanding where those damned candy are chased. It throws rapidses glances while it is proceeding for the rectilinear one, but he/she anchors he/she doesn't see her.

It looks at the road, then in low on the rug: nothing.

The road, then again in low on the rug: still nothing.

The road, then in low: find!

Then Mark breaks him against a tree to the 20.16 of an evening of June in which you/he/she had stopped raining from not too long. Not even one braked, not even an abrupt swerve, nothing of nothing, and it dies.

Of the following instants immediately to the accident void he/she is known, he can hypothesize only.

Perhaps Mark is realized to die, you/he/she has tried even perhaps to fight, not to release, despite you/he/she had the broken down skull and the organs inside meeting places in mash for the received counterblow. Even you/he/she has attended that the paramedics arrived, hoped to feel soon the sirens, begged to live, to succeed us for Martina or for Simona or simply for love toward the same life.

Of certain, absolutely certain, he/she is known only that to the arrival of the ambulance Mark had already died.

After all he also dies so: stupidly, for of the candy fallen of hand and for a belt untied with too sufficiency, to not even thirty years and with a 4 month-old baby that will never know really his/her father.

I have known him from Chicken; absurd, but I have known him from who kilometers was far.

It has a cousin that works on the ambulances and the news of a boy that he breaks and it dies, in this place where it seems to never happen anything, it does soon to turn.

I have received the call that was almost midnight, I was about to go to sleep when I have read on the display that illuminated him jerky" Chicken cell." I would ever be imagined me.

«Ready?»

«...» He/she cried.

«Hello? Oh Chicken? But what do you have? Ready?»

«Mark...»

«Mark? Do I Mark thing? What has happened?»

«Mark has made an accident. It is in the hospital.»

«Thing?»

«Paul... they say that it is dead.»

And it is as to be invested by a deflagrating, as if the stomach bursted and the temples exploded for the so much effort to hold up such a sudden pressure, ever borne.

I don't remember other.

I don't even know if I/you had kept on speaking on the phone with Chicken or if I/you had closed the call and I/you immediately was fallen me in the hospital. I would not know how to say nothing of the road, neither if you/he/she had started over raining, neither if I/you had driven to out lighthouses. I remember that felt only a knot that suffocated me, only this.

Arrived in first aid anybody you/he/she could tell me void. I asked with anger of Innocentini Marco, but they said not to be able to give information and to calm me, that you/they otherwise would have been forced to make to get further me. Then a man that I had already seen meeting has come me: you/he/she was the father of Simona.

«Boy, calmed» you/he/she has lowly said and then the knot is tightened stronger and I has taken to cry as I am sure to never have done in my life, up to vomit.

I have not wanted to see him/it, I would not have succeeded there.

Out of the mortuary room the mother of Mark has tightened me strong. He/she cried to I hijack and it repeated only compulsively «Mark... Mark... Mark...»

Also his/her father, Mr. Innocentini, has embraced me, but without saying nothing.

Simona I have not seen her, it was too badly and you/they had soothed her. In-patient and estate would have him under observation for the night.

"Who wants to live forever?"

Mark asked him/it that night when we found us in that dreadful accident while we were directing there toward Calabria.

Who wants to die to not even thirty years, for a fool distraction and when, done just get married, has not a four month-old daughter still pronounced your name?

Life is incomprehensibly unfair at times; but it is so, and he can take only action of it.

The funeral was not the serene ceremony, with only the present near people, and even with the music, that Mark would perhaps have liked indeed. There were rather all, or almost the inhabitants of the country on the lake and those of the near countries. Because here the tragedy, fatality, is also novelty, event, call.

In the middle of the known faces and to those less traceable, we were also there us: the friends.

David, known the news, you/he/she had reentered with the first possible flight. It was exhausted from the trip and from the loss, but it hid drawing to all of his/her residual boldness the pain that I/you/they am sure it tormented him/it.

Chicken, poor Manu, didn't possess the same tempering of character of David, and he/she uninterruptedly sobbed with big and heavy tears. I would have liked to comfort him/it, to tighten him/it and to stop the shake that fierce they got tired him/it, but he/she didn't succeed me to do him/it.

Gianca didn't speak, almost never. During the burial and in the brief meeting that subsequently united us to the Wine cellar, it said at the most about twenty words.

I remember that in front of Silvio that, gone down by the counter to embrace it repeated us insistent «it is not correct, it is not correct, it is not correct...» Gianca observed laconic «has happened.» And it told him/it with neutrality, as if pain didn't serve or as if it were useless to surrender space to the suffering however.

I could not understand him/it.

Alice, that came also to the funeral, he/she remained far. The instinct of woman perhaps suggested her to leave only me with my silences to close that interlacement of life that ended forever without appeal.

After all, I hoped that it didn't draw near, because in the anger that already kicked me inside furious for that absurd death, I wanted us to be somehow alone once more: Mark and I.

There was a sun inappropriato to the funeral of Mark and from the first files of the full church up to the last benches before the exit weepings and complaints felt him.

The mother of Mark and Simona, women united by the laceration of the soul, compotes and neighbors sat, able behavior was almost a form of respect toward that immense love by now confined in the coffin of dark mahogany. His/her father, Mr. Innocentini, remained for the whole standing time, and in his/her eyes, that had always appeared me comprehensive acute and, something, perhaps that spark that the eyes of serene the people possess, had disappeared already, as died, forever.

Martinas left her/it to house with an aunt of Simona that day.

The priest recited the homily, but I didn't listen to him; then the organized transport conducted slow but inexorable Mark's body for the whole country, up to the arrival to the cemetery where you/he/she was buried.

They put a photo that I had gone off him me on the headstone.

As I have anticipated we went later to the Wine cellar: me, Chicken, Gianca and David.

We didn't consume anything, neither we spoke as, aware that were only there for the extreme need of a normal context.

The day later Chicken and Gianca hastily returned to Cesenatico, while David left again as soon as you/he/she was able to bear another long intercontinental trip.

I remained only again, this time in a new loneliness, fiercer, logorante, eternal.

I didn't listen to music anymore for a lot of time, nothing of nothing, less that never the Queen of Freddie Mercury, because the solo to feel some notes of whatever song that brought back me to instigated me to us a maddish nausea.

I started over soon working, I was still part-time from Pigozzi, and I tried to survive to that environment they put and to the glances of everybody that again they worried for me.

I kept on writing, both for the on-line sporting editing and for my manuscript, and when I came to have to speak of the death of Mark Innocentini I tried a depth bother, as if somehow what happened it didn't have to make part of the history that I was writing, as if it were in contrast with the whole rest or it was inopportune to be told.

So that I have decided not to speak too much of it.

And I won't write of as him it reenters to house after having known that your best friend, he who considered a brother, it is dead. Neither I will say of as slowly it is metabolized, of as the nightmares and the fears they are fought, of as, footstep after footstep, is restarted to take back the really run and the memoirs put back him in the drawer of the memory.

I do him/it because this history, that starts from the news of a life that was born, doesn't finish with the slash of a life that dies.

I do him/it because to Mark, the first one that would have had to read these lines, is not be liked to exclusively track the suffering and the sadness of the adverse events down, but sopratutto would have desired to see the joy and the love, for which I have always thought about wanting to write and for which so much encouraged me to do him/it.

As he/she affirmed Gianca that day to the Wine cellar «has happened.»

And they is not able, they are not had to stop the pages or the time or the happiness. You can live only anchor, and to strive himself/herself/themselves to succeed us with intensity and tension turns to the same life, because it is a duty verse those people who have left each other and verse those people who accompany us, and a precious teaching to be given to those people that we inevitably will leave.

### 5. One year later (the vida Lives)

Every morning the alarm clock plays at 7.15 o'clock precise.

To tell the truth everything today I am not you/he/she stick definite to buy a real alarm clock, something rigorous in short. I always use the jail cell, and motive is still in the possibility to insert us some musichettas nice.

Lately I have chosen" the vida Lives" of the Cold Play. I like a lot engraves him of that song and, even if you/they have revealed me that the piece contains a clear political reference, I simply find him/it coinvolgente, rich of enthusiasm and of passion.

I could get up very well at 8.00 o'clock, or also later, because the new job of on-line journalist grants me a flexibility of schedules ever tried, but hook to wake up together me to Alice and to have breakfast with her. Certain times, while Alice crosses in long and in wide all house in the frenzy of the preparations to fly in the office, returns even in the bed of it. However I don't sleep, I remain a mezz'oretta laid down to look at sight at the wood ceiling with the beams, thinking about the appointments of day.

From about one month Alice Boffi and I live together, and I are not able whether to consider him/it a point of arrival examining how to find house has been an infuriating operation: too much small, too much great, too much dear, too much damp. You/he/she has been one it draws dreadful to rouse something that answered to our needs. At the end you/he/she has convinced us a trilocale to the plain earth of a picture-relative built recently: double services, two places auto and minuscule quarter of ownership with attached barbecue. We will pay him/it in thirty years and we have had by circumstance to stipulate a loan with a cazzo of bank, but it doesn't weigh me as, it seems me to have concluded a good bargain however.

Therefore the girl and I that it laughs live together and are together; seriously I intend together, projects and things of the kind. You/he/she has not been a simple footstep, sopratutto following the story of Mark, but really after that damned evening I have started to try for Alice a stronger feeling, and perhaps also for the demand to find again in the relationships with the near people the true solidarity, I have begun to perceive the need to live with her because we could take nourishment to story.

You/he/she has been me immensely near, so near that even in the darkest point now passed in my life up to I have not felt completely only never or definitely lost.

In every case you/he/she has not not at all been easy to overcome the tragedy of Mark, and also now that is June and it is departed one year it happens me to reflect on the thing and to ask me if the possibility exists to metabolize completely as happened. To be sincere I don't believe, but I think about having found a good remuneration however, a discreet equilibrium, even if I would not know how to say as there has arrived.

Of the whole pain that I won't tell, I can remember only as all of a sudden I have begun to leave me the thing to the shoulders and I have restarted to live. It is strange to speak of it, but it is as if slowly something had infiltrated in me and has provveduto to cancel the traces, the most painful, of the absence of Mark. It is as if I had resettato the system, and even if I have striven to preserve the most beautiful memoirs I am aware that with the time some will abandon me.

Last Domenica with Alice we have made visit to Simona and the small Martina. It has a speed of maddish growth and his/her eyes I am practically the exact duplicate of those of Mark. He/she doesn't ask of his/her father yet, but Simona has explained us that for when it will reach that phase it will concern him to the lines giuda that the psychologist has proposed her to which turns for elaborating the mourning.

I hope that I/you/he/she work.

After all Simona has surprised some all, because passed a brief period of comprehensible human dismay, you/he/she has reacted with an almost disarming boldness. You/he/she is sustained in full from the family Innocentini, both to practical level and economic, but you/he/she has taken back the job however and he/she doesn't even dream him to complain about himself/herself/themselves for how much her happened. More difficulty has been the reaction of the parents of Mark, his/her father has the eyes by now out and his/her mother is algid more and more as person, but they don't miss to acquit in full to the assignment to be grandparent with total devotion and I am sure that they will find again, thanks to the love of their little niece, the necessary enthusiasm to return to live more serenely some.

* * *

Today it is on beautiful Saturdays of June and this morning, even if Alice doesn't work, we wake up soon there. It threw some wind but the day you/he/she has immediately appeared me pleasant and the sun, that from you/he/she has immediately heated the air, it was of a particular hulling, that hulling that only in June it is possible to admire here on the lake.

Shared life asks alone for the different attentions in comparison to the way of living but I has not stopped cultivating my passions and, as I often do, I/you/they are gone out to race.

I race only still, it is always my form of meditation, but if it happens me in the run to cross Alice that also races her alone, I greet her/it saying her «Toh, the girl that laughs!»

And she smiles really in that way, all now exactly the same: that famous fresh smile that has made me surrender.

Inserted the shorts and turned on the reader mp3, I have looked for the usual one" the vida Lives" and when I have found her I/you/they have departed. I have gone with ample falcades and to read toward that road that, with 4 kilometers of comfortable curves, it conducts in the place in which more than every other hook to pass my leisure time. The wind was marvelously in favor and you/he/she is not taken a lot it because the definite but deprived push of work of my legs helped me to reach the destination; shortly time I/you/they have arrived.

All so simple appears and at the same unbelievable time when landscapes are observed as this. To observe then the life from the tall one, offers the advantage to clearly gather the contours and the particular ones of that sketch, very greater than we are able to gather, what time sure am it exists. It is a sketch that from places as this can be realized.

But him, after all, the vida live!

Also when it becomes hard and unbearable, also when the disenchantments and the bitterness come sudden as an abrupt nighttime awakening. Also when the pain and the weeping rouse us and they reach us.

After all on a lot of things you/he/she has always been right Mr. Mario: you/he/she Khan be striven us to pick up confirmations on the motives for the trip or on the destination, but then he risks to lose all the particular the landscape that races us before and it is ended up ruining the whole aroma the whole taste. Perhaps life is as a necklace of precious pearls that flows us slippery from the hands: you/he/she cannot be grabbed, neither you/he/she can be stopped her/it and to study its details with academic precision.

However you/he/she can be lived with passion, and if he/she succeeds us every thing it becomes very beautiful, inexorably marvelous, sopratutto when he becomes in degree to feel that rhythm of foundation the primordial melody, that produces the same life.

The vida live!

Speaking of Mario, in the living room, suspended next to the couch, I have put the Japanese sword that has left me in the will. It is an authentic object, a thing of value, and I don't miss to polish its blade with a specific oil and to dust its lining with diligence. Once Alice has made me notice that you/he/she will end that I will take care me more than that object that of her, but I have immediately specified her that won't happen. A dry fist has planted me on the shoulder however.

By now I am not able it stuffed nothing, it is a vice that I won't succeed in getting away, but even if it will make me come the fury calluses to lead you/he/she has become me a nice constant and me there I/you/they have accustomed.

The music is returned my principal passion, after all I have always known that our sudden divorce would not have lasted for ever, I need too much of her to separate me of it.

I like the new job, even if it hocks on Saturdays and almost all the Sundays. I will be for example tomorrow here in the sporting center of a near country to observe a meeting of the championship interregionale. You/they have given me a label identificativo of that my qualification attests" employee press": I admit that an exaggerated thread is seemed me, but I won't miss to tell that game as I try to make every time, that is writing with an ending pathos of it of" Champions League." Journalist label or less, I have decided to take back the university studies, to give the examination of journalism and to enroll me in the order. I have been preparing me for months, well aware of the fact that cannot be improvised us if he/she is wanted to develop a work with seriousness, but that rather it needs to acquit his/her own profession with skill and scrupulousness, sopratutto when he becomes father of family.

Already because Alice is pregnant and you/he/she has revealed him/it to me with a naturalness that would have been able to kill myself yesterday.

Say the truth have not done anything to have been avoiding him/it for one month to this part, but has been the same folgorante when, removing himself/herself/itself the shoes just reentered from the office, has exclaimed «Paul have made the test, accipicchia compliments! Have won one hundred stings, have made her to the first hit! We expect a child!»

Self-acknowledged that had the news has come me to cry, even if I would not know how to clearly define the motive. In every case for once I/you/they have succeeded in preserving a crumb of masculine behavior and I have not been upset, nevertheless I am me due to sit.

I will be father, but for absurd the future I don't fear him/it more as when I felt me an incompetent and I didn't have the least ability to determine what I wanted from the life. The idea to have a child with which to speak then some doesn't frighten me a particular.

I believe that this evening I will phone all to divulge the news.

To Henry I have told last night already him in web cam. It studies architecture to Bologna and internet it is by circumstance become our solo channel of communication. I have not understood yet as to a line has departed him the inspiration to continue the studies, moreover in house, but when you/he/she has decided you/he/she has been so determined that to the whole best solution you/he/she is seemed to subsequently encourage him/it. It maintains alone practically him with the job of waiter that makes in the evening, but mine often unhook him (also thanks to my insistences) of the good extra contributions to which him of certain he doesn't oppose. It doesn't lose an examination my brother, and I have to admit that with the time I am accumulating a respect for him that I would ever have thought about reaching.

Mine also know that will be grandparent, and even if my father is seemed some surprised by the fact that everything has happened so in hurry, I am sure that you/he/she is happy.

My mother I would not know, when it will stop crying from the emotion I will ask her what he/she thinks of it. It seems that has stabilized somehow their precarious equilibrium of couple, in every case, I know that I don't have to take care of me of it and that every relationship goes from itself and of fact it is not comprehensible to the outside, sopratutto if observed too nearby by a point of view and partial as that of a child.

Also Henry is convinced of this.

I will have to call Gianca and I am curious to discover with what fierce wisecracks he/she will greet me. For now alive alone in Turin because it has to take care of with devotion that the starting of" Fantasy world 2" goes according to his/her expectations. The car the good Gianca is also changed, and now that the business of the first shop travel to swollen sails, you/he/she has not hesitated to lose heart himself/herself/themselves in the risk of a new activity. Moreover it seems that for a certain category of women has suddenly become very interesting.

To become rich selling statuettes, almost absurd.

Chicken has remained with Alvaro to Cesenatico, where president or segretario,o it is simple member of thousand organizations ludiche full of members. clients that find again him to play to the war with weapons that shoot plastic little balls or simulated to fights of swords or magic or to build modellini of auto in wood with which to launch him for dangerous descents. You/he/she can be found everything this to" Fantasy world" and also more, so much that you/they have confided me that after Turin their dream would be to sound the ground to Florence or to Perugia with the purpose to install a hypothetical" Fantasy world 3."

I succeed in being happy for their success without warning anybody envy for the good economic condition that you/they are reaching, but he/she anchors I am not convinced me that the people, in times as these of crisis that never passes, spends money to dress himself/herself/themselves from elf or from dwarf.

To every way this is the confirmation that I have never understood there nothing of business.

To David the news I warmly hope to be able to give her/it tomorrow. It has to have been coming for a week to regulate me the boiler, but only when I will perceive the white furgoncino of the" Curti Termo-idraulica" to arrive fast in the street where we now live I can believe us.

Australia after the death of Mark is far progressively for him redoubt to a simple space whether to cry the friends that are not more and to remember with nostalgia those that are still there. So much was worth to return.

Therefore David has returned, but just as you/he/she had foreseen Mark you/he/she has never denied his/her decision. It says that one day will perhaps go again down there us and that meanwhile now some English that never spoils speaks. He more than me sees Chicken and Gianca and the strange couple again you/he/she had thrown within also him in one some false war that he/she was fought by the parts in Milan. Obviously the excitable Zinzi he is too immedesimato in the simulation and later, to have slaughtered with a gust of eighty little balls a guy that distava less than five meters from him, have been worthwhile with the two organizers that you/he/she would have been better perhaps to start over fishing or at the most to grant him some innocent game of calcetto on Wednesdays evening.

Thinking of us, only and sweaty quassù, seems almost that the young air of this blue lake contains a new pleasure today, a message, a best expectation. The times as this in which I reflect on the speed of the changes that I/you/they are alternated recently, I don't miss to record how much my life of now tracings quite a lot that that had undertaken Mark; even if by now I have understood that the unpaid houses, the relationships that become projects, his/her children that are born and they grow, the friends that take proper roads and the maturity and the awareness that it buds within you without not even realizing are tappe of the life of million of people over that of us; they are the notes common of the human kind.

Certain times I would like to be able to die, but only an instant, correct the time to rouse that precise of Mark and to see how if it passes her/it. I like to believe that I/you/he/she am in a beautiful place of it and that even I/you/he/she look us at all from far, with his/her analytical and blue eyes and with a new smile of understanding for all how much our futile banalities.

Clear that mine is only an idea and nothing of all of this can probably exist, but from different time I am learning anymore to not pormi the problem and to hope, simply to hope.

Of certain there is that I still have expectations as everybody and ambitions of happiness in the norm, I have at times always my a little realizable dreams, my a little bearable duties and my worries inaffrontabili but the basic substance of me, my intimate part, it turns today better decidedly.

Some special people have helped me to understand that it is not true that the days that count in the life are at the most an about twenty, but that rather, every minute of the trip is precious to be tasted.

In every case then: the vida Lives!

My name is Paul Orlando and the morning of June when it finishes this history I am from not too long twenty-eight years old, a tattooed knot on the right arm, three unbelievable friends, a woman that I love, few certainties on as it will be my run, a lot of less restlessness in comparison to some a long time ago and, altogether, still a healthy confusion in head that however I don't care a lot to have and that everything ago also company.

I don't live in the anxiety and for this anymore I never forget to thank those people that have taught me the most important message.

Thanks, I have learned him.

It happens unfortunately that some guests, the best, leave even the party on the most beautiful without giving a minimum of warning. You/he/she must be accepted, because" happens", just as Gianca it said; and it doesn't need to be afraid of it, because certain bonds survive forever in the gestures and in the words of the men that have interwoven them.

I know well that the events change and they are modified, and that that today I live as one period of stable serenity, this kind of fable in which I am me, risks every day to get high himself/herself/themselves completely.

After all enough a thread of wind to change the horizon, but this is not a good motive for to wait wound in the fear that the worse happens.

I could certainly relapse us, and to take back to distress me the whole life in the search of something that I even know what both, I could keep on tormenting me for the episodes of fierce pain that it is our turn to live, to again shake on every action, on every footstep to be completed, on every effort to be done, and to complain me for, what doesn't have explanation, that doesn't have solution; yet I finally feel to have understood that it would be only wasted time.

Because in every case, anything happens us, that want him/it or less, with us or without us, anyway the wind blows and it will always keep on blowing...

### The author

Luca Attrattivo was born to Angera, in the province of Varese, in 1981 and alive to Laveno Mombello, on the Most greater Lake. Graduated in sciences of the rehabilitation, it develops the profession of fisioterapista and it pleases him in the writing.

"The vida lives" it is its novel of debut.

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