This is a production of
World Video Bible School.
To God be the glory!
You know, a lot of people get married and
they're looking for the ideal and they
end up discovering that marriage is
often an ordeal. But there's good news.
No matter how bad, how devastating a
marriage may seem, God can help it.
God can heal it when both the husband
and the wife are willing to humble
themselves before Him and to seek His
will and to seek His way and to honor
the marriage relationship. No matter
how great a marriage may be,
God can make it even better.
And that's the wonderful
news about Christ-centered marriage.
Think about this: What if marriage is not
just about your happiness, but about your holiness.
What if marriage is not so
much about you and your spouse.
What if it's really... What if it's
ultimately about you and your God.
And the idea behind Christ-centered
marriage is just that.
Marriage really isn't so much about
happiness, although that's involved.
It's about our holiness. Marriage isn't just
about our relationship with our spouse--
our husband, our wife.
Our relationship with God is
really at stake in a
marriage so very often, too.
Christ-centered marriage.
What is Christ-centered marriage?
What does a Christ-centered
marriage look like?
That's really what this
particular session is all about.
And when you look at Colossians 3:1-17--
when we turn to the very word of God--
we can see some qualities
of Christ-centered marriage.
We can see some characteristics of marriage
that will truly bless us because we are
seeking not only happiness but holiness.
We're seeking not just to have
a marvelous relationship with our
husband or our wife,
but we're seeking to have a great
relationship with our God.
So in Colossians 3:1, we can see
this characteristic--or quality of
Christ-centered marriage.
A Christ-centered marriage
consists of two people: a husband and a
wife who have been raised with Christ.
When we're thinking about
Christ-centered marriage,
ideally we're talking about
two people who are Christians.
Two people who belong to Christ.
Look at the previous chapter of Colossians--
Colossians 2:12. It speaks of
having been buried with Christ and then
it speaks of having been raised with
Christ as we believe in the powerful
outworking of God as we come to the
Lord. There are a number of passages
that speak of responding to the love and
grace of God and the cross of Jesus.
And they speak of how we need to come to
Him in faith and repentance, turning from our
sin because we want to go the
way of the Lord would have us.
The Bible talks about the
necessity of baptism--
to put on Christ, to be raised with Christ--
Galatians 3:27, Romans 6:3-5.
And oh, friend, it's important
not just to marry a Christian,
but to marry a faithful Christian.
I know that there are many
people through the years who have
married non-Christians and have later
brought them to the Lord. That's really
wonderful. It's great and that makes me
so happy when I hear of these occasions.
However, I think most people would
acknowledge, it is better to marry
someone who's a Christian.
But not merely a Christian.
Sometimes a marriage might consist
of two Christians, and, yet,
they have entirely different
goals and aspirations and they
exhibit entirely different character.
It's important to marry a
faithful Christian.
And in speaking about this,
it's so important to recognize
being raised with Christ and having a
Christ-centered marriage means that you
marry a faithful Christian and that you help
that individual become even more faithful.
Here's why this is so crucial--
why it's so necessary.
First of all, when both people really love Jesus
and belong to Jesus, they are Christians.
Then, they are going to be on the same page,
spiritually speaking, in their lives and
they will be able to encourage one
another and they both should seek to
honor what God says regarding marriage
and how people should respond to it.
But there's a second reason
why this is so important.
You need to marry a faithful
Christian, my friend, because by doing
this you'll always have someone to
encourage you to grow in Jesus.
And ultimately, this faithful person will
encourage you to go all the way to heaven.
When you think about marrying a
Christian, marry a faithful Christian.
Someone who will help you to go to
heaven. As you look at Colossians 3
and you see the qualities,
the traits, the characteristics of
Christ-centered marriage,
here's another important truth--
another great principle to consider.
Colossians 3:1-2 indicate that we
should seek the “things that are above.”
What a marvelous thought! How beautiful when
a husband and a wife seek the things that
are above where Christ is,
seated at the right hand of God.
When you stop and think about it,
too many marriages aim too low.
They seek the things that are below.
They seek the things that are earthly.
We are to seek the
things that are above.
We are to set our affections
on the things that are above.
A Christ-centered
marriage is engrossed,
not with the here and now,
but with the hereafter.
A Christ-centered marriage is
really into eternity and the heavenly.
It's a matter of devotion.
It's so easy to get wrapped up.
It's so easy to be enamored
with the things of this world--
the things that are
here below, the earthly.
Then, friend, we need to remember
the words of Jesus in Matthew 6:21.
"Where your treasure is,
there your heart will be also."
Our treasure should be where
Jesus is in heaven and that'll really
make a difference in our marriage.
It will make our marriages Christ-centered.
As we look at the book of Colossians,
look at Colossians chapter 3:3-4
and we'll see a third quality of
Christ-centered marriage.
A Christ-centered marriage
sees Jesus as their life.
Jesus should be the
very life of one's marriage.
What a great thought!
That way one's life will be blessed,
one’s marriage will be blessed, and
eternity will be beautiful. Christ is our life.
One can't envision life in a
marriage apart from Jesus.
In John 10:10, Jesus said,
"I have come to give life and
to give it more abundantly."
Isn't that a great thought?
How true that should be in marriage.
In John 14:6 the Lord taught,
"I am the way the truth, and the life.
No man comes to the Father but by Me."
Oh, Jesus should be one's life and that
should most certainly
show itself in marriage.
Think about this passage in
Colossians 3:11. "Christ is our all."
And then again in Colossians 1:18.
"That in all things... that in all things..."
And that's going to
include our marriages.
"He..." that is Jesus, "...might
have the preeminence."
To be preeminent means
that He is before all things.
That He is above all things.
That Jesus is beyond all things.
Above, before, and beyond
all things. Yes, Jesus.
He's to be considered
preeminent in our lives.
He gives life, He is life, and
He gives life to our marriages.
Matthew 6:33 is a well-known
verse, even though it's often misapplied.
"Seek first the kingdom of
God and His righteousness,
and all these things
shall be added to you."
When you think about that passage
when it comes to marriage,
many people give Jesus a place in their
marriages. Maybe they attend services.
Maybe they worship. Maybe they pray.
Jesus is given a place, but He's not really
given preeminence. You think about
Matthew 6:33 and some people give Jesus
priority in their marriages. Oh,
they talk a lot about the Bible.
They are people that are quite dependable
when it comes to worship and when it
comes to serving the Lord in just so many ways.
And while they give Jesus priority in their lives
and in their marriages,
they don't give Him preeminence.
Really, Jesus might be
second in command.
He might be the runner-up in the beauty pageant.
He might be on someone's top 10 list.
But Jesus is not given preeminence.
When you look at Colossians 3:3-4,
a Christ-centered marriage
sees Jesus as its very life.
They can't even imagine life apart from
Him. Jesus is given preeminence.
He is above all things, before all things, and
beyond all things. Fourth, as we think of the
traits of Christ-centered marriage,
we can look at Colossians 3:5-9.
And Colossians 3:5-9 indicates that
Christ-centered marriage knows what to put off.
Some things have got to be put to death.
There has to be some funerals in a marriage.
Some things have just got to die.
And when you look at Colossians 3:5-9,
certain behaviors and
certain actions are spoken of and
they are spoken up very strongly.
They must be put to death.
Not only will these type of actions--
these activities--hurt a marriage,
they may well cost somebody their soul.
So a Christ-centered marriage
knows what to put to death.
When you look at Colossians 3:5-9,
some sins that are
mentioned in particular
are sexual immorality.
It needs to be put away.
It needs to be put to death.
Impurity. Passion that's dishonorable,
that doesn't really look to God and His glory.
Evil desires. It's to be put to
death. It's to be given a funeral.
As you look at Colossians 3,
the Bible also indicates that
covetousness--which is idolatry--
is to be put to death.
Oh, how this inordinate desire for
someone or something can get
in the way of Christ-centered marriage.
When you think about things
that are be put to death, one of the
things that's to be put to death is
anger, wrath, malice. Oh, how often we
have anger issues and how that negatively
affects the relationship of marriage.
Sometimes slander and obscene talk can
be hurtful to a relationship.
It can be devastating to a marriage.
Lying. That is another sin that's to be
put away. There needs to be a funeral.
A Christ-centered marriage knows
what needs to be put to death.
It knows what needs to be put away and
sins like these should be put to death
in every marriage for the good of the
marriage relationship and for the good
of each one's relationship with God.
Then, we come to a fifth trait of
Christ-centered marriage.
We see this trait in Colossians 3:10-11.
In Colossians 3:10-11, we see this
trait: a Christ-centered marriage.
A Christ-centered marriage is constantly
being renewed in the knowledge of Jesus Christ.
If I could just sit down and talk to
someone who's getting married about the
things that are most important in marriage.
If it's really to be a great marriage--
a source of tremendous blessing--
I would talk to them about
the priority--the necessity--
of constantly renewing ourselves
in the knowledge of Jesus Christ.
We can't make it in life and we can't
make it in marriage without Jesus.
Our sufficiency is not of ourselves
but of Jesus, II Corinthians 3:5.
I would encourage people to keep in mind
that in our marriages we need to be strong in
the Lord and in the strength
of His might, Ephesian 6:10.
Marriage is such a relationship.
It's so challenging and
encouraging and blissful,
but it can be one of the
most difficult things that we
ever do in our lives because we have to
rely more on our Lord and we also have
to do much to encourage and rely on
our spouses--our husband or our wife.
So as I think about it, I think about
the words of Jesus in John 15:4-5.
Jesus said, "Apart from
me you can do nothing."
Think about that relationship to your marriages.
Apart from Jesus, we can do nothing.
We need to constantly be renewing
ourselves in the knowledge of Jesus Christ.
Remember the words
of Romans 12:1-2?
We would do well to apply
that passage to our marriages.
"I plead with you by the mercy of God,
present your body a living sacrifice, holy,
acceptable to God which is your reasonable
service. Do not be conformed to the world,
be transformed by the renewing of your
mind, that you might prove what is the
good and acceptable and perfect will of God."
A Christ-centered marriage
involves this great desire
to constantly be renewed
in the knowledge of Jesus.
Oh, how we need a regular--
a constant intake--of Jesus in
order to be strong in our marriages
and in order to have healthy, vibrant,
positive relationships. Then,
we come to Colossians 3:12-14.
In Colossians 3:12-14,
we read of a sixth quality,
a sixth quality about
Christ-centered marriage.
A Christ centered marriage
knows what to put on.
Colossians 3:5-9 had let us know that a
Christ-centered marriage
needs to kill some things.
Some things need to be put to death.
Some things need to be stamped out.
But when you look here at Colossians 3:12-14,
some things need to be put on.
They need to be cultivated,
they need to be grown,
they need to be greatly desired.
When we look at Colossians 3:12-14,
there is a magnificent catalogue--
a listing of some qualities--
that would help any marriage, that
would help any relationship with anyone.
"Compassionate hearts, kindness humility,
meekness, patience, bearing with one
another, forgiving one another..."
Then, notice Colossians 3:14.
"Above all things... Above all things put
on love, which is the bond of perfection."
The bond of completeness.
When we think about it,
how important it is that a Christ-centered
marriage properly emphasizes what to put on.
It would be great if every day, when we woke up,
when we got out of bed, we not only prayed to
God and thanked Him for the day, we asked
God help us put on the right things so that
we can relate to our husband or
our wife the way that He would have us.
So that we could relate to them
in a Christ-centered way.
Look at this seventh trait
of Christ-centered marriage.
It can be seen in Colossians 3:15.
A Christ-centered marriage lets the peace
of Christ rule their hearts and these
people are thankful--they're grateful--
for all that God is and does in their life.
When you think about the peace of Christ
and how it's to rule in a marriage,
there's so many things that can eat away at the
fabric--the fiber--of a marriage relationship.
Sometimes it's worry. Sometimes it's stress.
Sometimes it's discouragement.
Sometimes it's disagreement.
Let the peace of Christ rule your hearts.
In John 14:27, the Lord said,
"Peace I give you; My peace I leave with you.
Not as the world knows leave I with you."
Oh, the peace that comes from God.
In Romans 5:1-2, because of Jesus--
because of what God has done through Jesus--
we can have peace with God.
Surely that should show itself in our
relationships and especially our marriages.
In Philippians 4:6-7, the apostle Paul
writes through the Holy Spirit that
"The peace of God that surpasses all
understanding will guard your hearts
and thoughts in Christ Jesus."
A marriage can know the peace of Christ,
even in times of stress, of disappointment,
of disagreement. And that
marriage can be thankful.
"The Lord is my shepherd.
I shall not want." Psalm 23:1.
And when you think about this
quality from Colossians 3:15,
letting the peace of Christ rule
our hearts and being thankful--
thankful for His goodness.
God is good all the time.
He's faithful, He is dependable,
and He gives His people peace.
When we look at Colossians 3:16,
we see an eighth quality.
An eighth quality of Christ-centered marriage.
A Christ-centered marriage lets
the word of Christ dwell richly
within, richly and with all wisdom.
I don't think that there's any way to
emphasize the importance of this enough.
A Christ-centered marriage lets the word of
Christ dwell richly within it and with all wisdom.
Think about the words of Jesus our Lord in
Matthew 5:6. and thirst after righteousness,
"Blessed are those who hunger
and thirst after righteousness,
for they shall be filled."
Do you hunger and thirst after
righteousness in your marriage?
How crucial, how essential it is if
we have a Christ-centered marriage.
In Matthew 4:4, Jesus answered Satan by
saying, "Man shall not live by bread alone,
but by every word that proceeds
from the mouth of God."
How are our marriages answering the devil?
How are our marriages dealing
with life's difficulties?
"Man shall not live by bread alone, but by
every word that proceeds from the mouth of God."
How we need to let the word of Christ dwell
richly in our marriages with all wisdom!
As we think about this particular
quality-- this particular characteristic--
I'm reminded of the
Old Testament prophet, Job.
In Job 23:12, he said, "Your word have I
esteemed more than my necessary food."
Job is indicating that he looked to
God and His Word and he valued it.
He treasured it more than food,
life-giving, life-sustaining food.
He looks to God's Word to give
him life and to sustain life.
And what a message for us in our marriages.
The prophet Jeremiah declared in Jeremiah 15:16,
"Your word was found and I did eat it.
Your word was the joy and
the rejoicing of my heart."
A Christ-centered marriage lets the word of
Christ dwell in it richly with all wisdom.
Look in the ninth place at Colossians 3:16 again.
See this quality of a God-centered--
a Christ-centered--marriage.
A Christ-centered marriage
sings and offers praise to God.
Psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs are to be sung
and we are to sing with grace in our hearts.
While admittedly, that passage is written
initially to Christians and has application to a
congregational setting, shouldn't it be
true of our marriages as well?
Shouldn't our marriages be full of
singing and of praise to God?
After all, we have so much to sing about.
If both husband and wife are Christians,
oh, to sing God's praise.
Oh, to the praise of His glory.
That's what we sing. That's what
we're all about, Ephesian 1:6, 12.
When we think about singing
and giving praise to God,
the Bible says, "I will sing with the spirit."
I will sing with the understanding, also.
Isn't it marvelous when a husband and
wife can together sing God's
praise? They're saying that we
have something to sing about.
Much like the psalmist in Psalm 34:3.
"Oh, magnify the Lord with me. Let us
exalt His name together." Together!
In James 5:13, James asked, "Is any cheerful?
Is any merry? Let him sing praise."
How important it is that a marriage
be filled with singing praise to God.
The Lord has been mindful of us.
As we look at a tenth quality--a tenth
characteristic--of Christ-centered marriage,
we can look at Colossians 3:17.
In Colossians 3:17, we see this final
quality that should be emphasized
in Christ-centered marriage.
A Christ-centered marriage
seeks to do all to the authority--
or in the name of--the Lord
Jesus Christ. Think about that.
A Christ-centered marriage seeks to do all.
"Whatever..." the passage says in Colossians 3:17.
"Whatever in word or deed..."
That's a fairly sweeping comment--
a sweeping statement.
"Whatever in word or deed, do all..."
Not just some. Not just a great deal,
but “do all in the name of the Lord.”
And, oh, how important it is for us to remember
what this statement means to a marriage.
It means that all we do in
word or deed--everything--
we want to have the approval--
we want to have the authority--of God.
It's such a shame that many
marriages never give any consideration
at all to the will of God
and to doing things in His name.
How important, how necessary it is to have
people who have Christ-centered marriages.
"Whatever in word or deed,
do all in the name of the Lord."
By His authority, longing for His
divine approval, and give thanks.
Give thanks. As we consider this,
a Christ-centered marriage can be one of
the greatest blessings in the
world. The marriage is blessed.
Your husband, your wife will be blessed.
Your children will be blessed. The church--
the congregation of which you're a part--
that congregation will be blessed.
You can leave an impact that's Godly and
good for generations to come because a
Christ-centered marriage seeks
to do all in the name of the Lord.
We've just examined God's word
and we have seen ten traits--
ten qualities--ten characteristics--
of a Christ-centered marriage.
It's fascinating to see the
way the Word of God addresses
everyday life, everyday relationships,
and how the Word of God
not only helps us deal with our lives
here on earth but prepares us for eternity.
When you think about Colossians 3:1-17,
it's a fascinating passage--a powerful passage.
But I think it's important to
look at the verses that follow.
Colossians 3:18 and following
deal with family relationships, 
beginning with marriage, going to
parenting, and then to relationships with
one's employer or the employee
relationship. God's word serves as the
foundation for every relationship.
And this is such an important thought.
Please get this. It will change
your life and it will bless you.
Every relationship in this world
is to be looked at, it’s to be examined,
it's to be scrutinized
by our relationship to Jesus.
We relate to others as we relate to Him.
We connect with others relationally as He
would have us relate to all of these others.
So when we think about marriage...
Marriage is a wonderful thing--a great blessing--
but marriage does not exist
just for our happiness.
Marriage exists--created
by God Himself--for our holiness.
Marriage is not just about you.
It's not just about you and your husband.
It's not just about you and your wife.
Ultimately, marriage is about you and your Lord.
How you will relate to that person in Jesus.
Christ-centered marriage is so beautiful.
Oh, I hope it will be a matter of
emphasis in your own marriage.
It's never too late to emphasize a
Christ-centered marriage.
And when you do when you do—
when you do--I'll guarantee you this,
your marriage will be a taste of heaven.
