*smacks whiteboard*
L A U G H !
Yo! What's up gamers?!
and welcome back to the Jacksepticeye's Funniest Home Videos Series©™
The series where we all laugh at stuff that doesn't belong to us.
And If Article 13 gets its way, I won't be able to do this anymore. O.O
But I tasked all of you, my little elves, ^.^
to go out there and find me the funniest,
most rib-tickling,
leg-smacking,
ass-twerking videos that the internet has to offer.
So, let's see what you babies came up with.
*seal smacking itself*
*laughs*
*seal continues to slap himself*
*laughs"
Awe
That's so cute
*laughs*
That's all I'm gonna do whe-
It's me, I'm a drummer that's what I do on a daily basis I tap my legs and I...
*starts slapping his chest and mASSIVE THIGHS*
that's how I'm gonna ask for food from now on I'm just gonna lay on my couch and go
Oh god, what's it gonna be?
(laughs) fuck's sake...
I feel bad for laughing at this shit. (laughs)
(SMACK) L A U G H !
Oh God..
(CRASH) EAUGH!!
Eaugh! (laughs)
oh my God, that's perfect
oh, that's- that's like
beautiful comedy
Holy shit, the sound
And then the dust
(CRASH) EAUGH!!
Oh my God,
and then he just *Woop!*
(laughs again)
*cough*
That's f*cking great. Holy crap. Oh, he sounded like he hurt himself bad though.
(CRASH) EAUGH!!
EAUGH!!
Jesus. I hope you're okay dude. Well, he got up and he shook it off so, get back out there slugger. Oh my god,
I think I saw this already, I think my brother sent me this. We're both drummers. Look at this
You think this is impressive? Wait till you see
This is
(Laughs)
YES! Hell yeah!
Dudes' fucking killing it!
And to do that in that suit as well
(epic drumming)
(laughing again)
Oh, the video is called "When you're overqualified for the job". I think they are perfectly qualified.
Hell yea gamer!
(more laughter)
(Chop Suey by System of a Down plays)
(laughing)
(even more laughing)
Oh *cough* *cough* f*ck me
Oh, you guys knew I'd love that one. Oh Jesus Christ.
Oh my god, it's fucking perfect. Oh Jesus.
Oh, I want a dog that does that. Okay, I asked for "Funniest Home Videos" now and not like
"Most Leg Breaking Home Videos"
*Mario boing*
*Wha-pch* Okay *Mario boing*
*chuckles* It's not breaking dude
*woop* *AAaauggh!*
*more laughing*
Oh no, oh, he tried so hard to break it.
Oh my god the f*cking- this- this is perfect
*laughing*
You okay?
No, oh he died
That's sad
(SMACK) L A U G H !
*reading* "Hands-free telephone set ad in 1993.
*commercial* "Is talking on the phone getting out of hand? Look out!
You need "Phone Relief" the hands free phone design!
Watch! Simply attach the special bubble back fastener to any phone! (Sean) Oh my god
It's that easy! Hands-free, pain-free
You'll wonder how you ever lived without it! (Sean: and stylish!) It's perfect for remotes!
Now talk hands-free anywhere, anytime!" This has to be a joke, right?
This is to be like a Tim and Eric sketch or something. There's no way this was a real ad back then
It's like yea, not for Mr. Phone-in-the-neck. *commercial* "Best of all, phone relief works with your favorite phone! An amazing breakthrough product!
You'll use every day, now only 12.95!(Sean) Oh my god, that's a f*cking steal! "...and make this your last phone in the neck call!"
Hold on, hold on! I gotta get my wallet! I gotta get my wallet!
Take it, take it, take it, take it, take- take the money, take the money.
I have war flashbacks from this- the last time I tried this I got maimed
*flashback*
Oh my god, this is a 2012 version *Joe* Hi, I'm Joe Gray with the GoJo hands-free, the only device on earth that's truly hands-free
Holy crap, the GoJo! *Joe* ...hands-free. You stick them in your ears, gross
Joe: But you still have to hold your phone and these are not legal for hands-free driving. The GoJo goes on in one second
Joe: Hello? One mississippi. Hey Mom, I can't talk right now.
*laughter*
I mean he's not wrong. He proved- he proved his point right there. Joe: ..has both hands-free no batteries
Okay, well, if I'm going to the gym, I'm not gonna be talking on the phone
I'm gonna get my swole on, I'm gonna be getting my gains. *Joe* It makes your phone the hands-free device
*Woman* It's true hands-free!
*Guy* It's east to use, easy to figure out. Its perfect!
*Surfer dude* It's frickin awesome!
*laughter* Look at this f*cking dude
Look at this duuuuuuuuuuuude!
It's just like "Hey, can you put this on your head and say it's awesome?"
"It's awesome"  "Okay, here's $10". *Guy* It is so simple.
I love it! *Woman* I don't have to keep my hands on my cell phone. I don't have to worry about it.
These are real people, not ac-tors!
Joe: Hello, I can get him right now
Joe: I just- just hung up with Jim. I will email you too right now.
Oh my god, how many fucking emails does this guy do? What kinda email do you write like "I'll email you right now"
"Okay, hold on, my landlines ringing". "Yes? Yes, I-I'm also emailing you now"
Joe:  And yes, the GoJo will hold the weight of your phone. Even the weight of a five-pound laptop
*LAUGHTER*
YEAH!!
Oh my go-*LAUGHING*
I know he's proving a point, but holy fuck. Joe: And yes, the GoJo will hold the weight of your phone
even the weight of a five-pound laptop.
*Laughter*
I wanna go around with a f*cking laptop strapped to my face going "Yes, hold on, I'll email you right now"
*laughter*
*Joe* How'd it hold? *Guy* Successful!
*even more laughter*
This is the greatest commercial in f*cking history! "How'd it hold?" *coughs*
"It was-It's great! *coughing*
"Shame about all this dust though" *Guy* Dude, really? *Joe* Yes, sir, but I want-
*Pfftttt*
Oh, I'm so glad I found this
This is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me my life. Joe: Here's how to order:
Uh, what?
How do I order? You said "Here's how to order" and then you didn't show me how to order, you just showed clips of what
happened before even though she was doing a sweet backflip *Guy* Awesome.
Nothing. Nothing is ever gonna top that. That is the greatest
Okay,
so, I wanted to put this one in I've wanted to put it in for a while and I kept forgetting about it because when we
were on tour our tour manager JP, lovely man, miss him,
He- he told us about this story from a baseball player called George Brett. George Brett being a very successful baseball player in the past
I don't watch baseball. I don't know. But, apparently he talked about how many times he's shit his pants
every year and he's at this like
random baseball game and he's just talking to these people who are stretching but he's miced so they catch everything
And it's incredible
George: I farted. I shit my pants last night. I did. I went out, I had a great meal, just a great f*cking meal. I had to go to bathroom
G: so bad in the car I'm going 'Bro, hurry up, man, I gotta shit.'
I fucking love that he starts off with bending over, farts, and then goes 'I farted. Shit my pants last night'
G: I'm good twice a year for that. When was the last time you shit your pants? Yeah, been a while?
G: So I said 'look I got to get going'. I'm walking back to the hotel
G: I get three-quarters the way out of the lobby and all of a sudden I go 'Oh Fuck'
*laughing*
I love that he just stops and goes 'Oh fuck'
Good twice a year for that. George: and I'm standing here like this. I got my butt pinched so fucking I'm- I'm fucked. I can't move
G: All of a sudden, you know felt alright, I went just like this *bwoosh* (mouth sound) water.
G: I had food poisoning from some- the crabs
G: Take off my leather jacket,
G: tied around my waist and I'm just standing there and it's just running down.
G: I got jeans on black bucks. No socks
G: And then I start fucking walking every time I'm walking
G: something's coming out. It's water. Straight fuckin' water.
Oh my god
Best story of all time
we'd say that so often when we were on tour would be like
"Can I have a water?" and then he'd hand it to me "Straight fucking water"
*laughter*
Straight fucking ocean man
G: So- so he goes....  Sean: These poor guys. G:..in a lobby of the hotel and then I get him yet
They keep trying to like walk away from they're like "Dude, I'm just here to play the game,
I just want to stretch, I don't want to hear a story about this legendary baseball player shitting his pants"
G: I take off all my fucking clothes wipe off leave my shoes left my shoes, my pants, everything right there
G: The towels are right there in the stall
Sean: They do not want to hear
G: with my shirt and his pants that are 48 waist through the lobby like this
Oh my god, George, stop. G: Most perfect double tapered shit I've ever had in my life
*laughs*
Woke up the next morning. It was perfect double tapered shit I've ever had in my entire life
It gets better the end of it is the best thing
G: true story
G: Who's the pitchers in this game?
*laughter*
Just after telling this f*cking three minute long story about how he sh*t his pants in a f*cking lobby
and then all of a sudden the guys are trying to walk away and he's just like
"true story."
"So who the pitchers in this game?"
*laughs*
Straight fucking water
Okay. Oh my god, that might be the hardest I've ever laughed in one of these episodes
Oh Jesus, but tHAT does it for this episode of Jacksepticeye's Funniest Home Videos episode...
*audible discomfort*
And remember, when you go out there, don't forget to (SMACK) L A U G H !
Goodnight everybody!
*Jack* Jacksepticeye's Funniest Home Videos is filmed in front of a live studio audience.
Outro music: I'm Everywhere by Teknoaxe. Link in the description if you want to listen to the full song
Outro animation created by Pixlpit. Link in the description if you want to check out his channel
Straight fuckin' water *chuckles*
