 
## (3 Book Box Set)

## The Nurse And The Cowboy

## Romancing The Cowboy

## Journey To Love
Copyright 2016

Published by Carla Davis at Smashwords

Smashwords Edition License Notes

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only, then please return to Smashwords.com or your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

# Table of Contents

The Nurse And The Cowboy

Romancing The Cowboy

Journey To Love
The Nurse And The Cowboy

by

Rebecca Davis

# Chapter One

"Is your homework finished?" I called up the stairs to my son. When he'd gotten home from school half an hour ago, he grunted, mumbled something about hating school, and then ran upstairs. I didn't know what was up with him lately, but his attitude was awful. I wondered if that bully, Paul, was harassing him again.

"Jamie! Did you hear me?" I shouted again.

"Yes!" he hollered.

I sighed with frustration, hating when he did that. What was he saying yes to? The homework question or the one about hearing me? "Is your homework done?" I tried again, gripping the solid oak banister a little tighter, curling my toes against the soft, plush carpet then flexing them. There was nothing quite like the feel of soft carpet after being in heels all day.

"YES!" He turned up his radio, drowning out any further attempts I could make to talk to him.

I hesitated for a moment, debating whether I should march up to his room and reprimand him for his disrespectful behavior or just let it go for the sake of keeping the peace. I'd had a horrible day at work and really wasn't in the mood to have a disagreement with Jamie, which we'd been having a lot of lately. My own mother had warned me the teen years were the hardest, and she hadn't been lying. The day Jamie turned thirteen, things had drastically changed. He wasn't the same sweet little boy anymore, and I missed him.

The throbbing in my temples was my answer. I turned away from the stairs and headed into the kitchen. I'd give both of us some time to calm down then I'd talk to him over dinner. I made a mental note to call the school first thing tomorrow morning to find out if there had been any recent incidents between Jamie and Paul.

I stepped into the kitchen and took a deep breath. This was my favorite room in the house. It was always the cleanest and had a unique scent of spices and floral dish soap. The marble countertops accented the stainless steel appliances perfectly, and the chandelier style overhead light was gorgeous. There was a beveled floor to ceiling window in the corner with a small two person table situated in front of it. In the morning, I'd sit there and sip coffee while watching the sun rise. And the connecting dining room was fit for royalty. A twelve person table sat in the center of the room. It was surrounded by hand crafted china cabinets, packed full of dishes from all over the world. I used to host countless dinner parties there, but since the divorce, I hadn't had a dinner guest over in months. I got our son and the house in the divorce while my ex-husband, Phillip, seemed to get all of our friends (and his hot, twenty-two year old secretary).

Opening the refrigerator, I pulled out the package of pork chops I'd put in there this morning to thaw. I knew they were Jamie's favorite, and I hoped it would soften him up and get him talking. I sliced open the package and set them on a baking sheet before searching my spice rack for just the right seasoning.

My cell phone rang, startling me from my thoughts. I reached for it. "Hello?"

"Heather?"

I froze. "Mom, what's wrong?" Her voice is tight and strained with tears. She's sobbing and muttering something I couldn't understand. "Mom. Calm down. Take a deep breath, and tell me what's going on." I moved toward the small kitchen table and sat down.

"It's... Oh, God, Heather. It's your grandmother. She's..."

"No," I said, shaking my head. The color drained from my face, and everything around me seemed to disappear. I propped my elbow on the table and dropped my forehead into my hand. "No, she's not gone. She can't be."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, sweetie. So, so sorry."

My hand trembled, and tears burned my eyes. Growing up, my grandmother was my best friend, the one person in the world I knew I could always count on no matter what. She was my favorite person, and now she was gone. And the last words I'd had with her weren't the greatest.

"Heather? Are you still there?"

"Yes," I whispered as the first tear rolled down my face. "How?" I didn't know why I asked that question because I wasn't sure I really wanted to know. Yet it seemed like the logical thing to ask.

"She went to sleep last night and just didn't wake up this morning," Mom said.

I took some relief in the knowledge that her passing was peaceful. I could only hope her final thoughts were the same – happy and peaceful.

"We're having the funeral this coming Thursday. Can you make it?" There was a brief pause, and then she added, "You have to make it. Grandma's last wish was for you and Jamie to come home, to be here for the reading of her will. She made me promise I'd get you to come home."

The tears came too fast and hard now that I couldn't do anything to stop them. My grandmother had practically begged me to move back home to Texas, to raise Jamie near his family, to give him the same opportunities I'd had when I was his age. But at the time, I'd been so focused on me – on my career, my failing marriage, my social life. It was the only thing she'd ever asked of me, and I'd blown her off. And for what? A lying, cheating husband who left me and our son all alone?

I straightened and wiped at my face, sniffling. "Yeah." My voice cracked. I cleared my throat. "Yes, I'll be there. I'll book a flight right now."

My mom sighed with relief. "Thank you. I know this would mean a lot to her."

"I'll call you back when I have flight information."

"Okay, love you."

"Love you, too, Mom." I hung up and rested my head on the cool, wooden table. Once again, my tears took control of me. My shoulders shook, my breaths were painful, and my entire body trembled. Grandma was dead. It couldn't be possible. I wrapped my arms around my midsection and rocked in the chair, trying and failing to calm myself. If only I had one more day, one more chance to tell her how much she meant to me, how much I loved her and adored her.

"Mom!" Jamie's footsteps pounded down the stairs. "I'm going to Derrick's. Don't worry, I'll be—" He stopped in the kitchen doorway. "What's wrong?" He came over to the table and pulled out a chair, sitting. "Is Dad giving you shit again?"

"Jamie!" I snapped. "Language." My response was automatic, and I immediately regretted it. I wiped my face again and took a deep breath. "My grandmother passed away."

"Nammy Noreen?"

I simply nodded, knowing I wouldn't be able to speak again right now. For a brief time, when I first learned Phillip was cheating on me, I'd gone home for a few weeks. Jamie had hated it, but he'd hit it off with Nammy Noreen, and even though he wouldn't admit it, he'd missed her. What kind of mother was I to deny my child from knowing their grandmother?

Jamie stood and gave me an awkward side hug. "I'm sorry."

"Thank you." I hugged him back the best I could. It was nice to know that no matter what our disagreements were, he was still the loving, compassionate boy I raised. "We're going to go to Texas for the funeral."

"When?" he asked, pulling away.

"Probably tomorrow. The funeral is Thursday, and then we'll have to go to the reading of the will on Friday." I already knew he was going to give me a hard time, so I tried to head it off. "Don't worry. We'll be back home by Sunday."

"That means I'll miss school the rest of this week." He failed miserably at containing his grin.

"It's only three days. I'm sure you'll be fine, but you'll have to make up the work," I said sternly.

"Okay. Can I still go to Derrick's tonight?" he asked.

I sighed. Ideally, I'd like to have him home with me, but my night would now be spent making travel arrangements and finding someone to cover my work commitments. My boss was probably going to have a fit that I needed time off. He could be a real jerk, especially when there were big meetings lined up, like I had the next two days. But what could I do? I had to be at Grandma's funeral.

"Yes, but please be home by nine okay?"

"Okay," he said without argument. Then he kissed me on the cheek and left out the side door attached to the kitchen.

I blew out a breath. At least he didn't argue with me on curfew like he normally did. That was a blessing. I took another moment to compose myself then reached for my cell phone. The first person I called was my boss.

"Jeremy Johnson," he answered in his usual, no-nonsense, gruff voice. The man had the personality of a rock.

"Hello, Mr. Johnson. It's Heather Walsh. I'm so sorry to bother you after hours, but I just found out my grandmother passed away. I need the rest of the week off to travel home to Texas for the funeral." I stood and began to pace. He always made me so nervous because his moods shifted so often and so easily. You never knew how he'd react to something.

There was a long pause, and my stomach knotted. If he threatened to fire me... "How long?"

I stopped abruptly. "The rest of the week," I repeated. "I'll be back on Monday."

He made a noise that sounded an awful lot like an angry groan. Great. That's just what I need, for him to be a jerk about giving me time off. "And what about the meetings we have lined up this week?"

I knew this was coming. I took a deep breath. "Amanda can handle them. She's been working very closely with me on the campaigns and knows just as much as I do about the clients. She's more than qualified."

"She better not screw it up. We've got too much riding on these new clients, Heather."

I hated it when he said my first name like that. It sounded too much like my father scolding me. "I know, Mr. Johnson, and I promise she won't screw it up." I would make sure of it even if that meant I had to spend the rest of the night on the phone coaching Amanda.

"Fine. But plan on staying late Monday to catch up," he said brusquely.

"Yes, sir, of course." That was the last thing I wanted to commit to, but it was better than losing my job over this. "Thank you."

He grunted, "Yeah."

"Okay, well, have a good night, sir," I stammered.

"Mmm hmm. And sorry for your loss, Heather."

"Uh, thanks." Of all the things for him to say, that was the least expected thing for him to say. I shook my head and ended the call. His moods were as finicky as feline at times. Next, I dialed Amanda's number, silently praying with each ring that she'd answer. Finally, on the fourth one, she did.

"Hello?"

"Oh, Amanda, thank god you answered." I exhaled with visible relief. "I need a huge favor." I returned to the table and sat, feeling slightly calmer now that I knew my boss wasn't going to fire me.

"Okay," she said slowly, "what's up? You sound really frazzled."

"I just found out my grandmother passed away." Simply saying the words had tears clogging my throat. I swallowed hard against them.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry. What can I do?" she asked without hesitation.

"Thanks." I forced a tight smile, not that she could see me, but she was always calling me sweetie, even though I was a few years older than her, and hearing it now really comforted me. "I have to head back to Texas for the funeral, and I need you to cover the meetings this week. You know these clients and their needs probably better than I do."

"Yeah, of course, I can totally do it," she said.

If I wasn't mistaken, I'd think she was a little too excited about the idea of covering my place in the meetings. Maybe she was. She was still young, unjaded, had a driving zest to prove herself, to move up within the company. I wondered if I needed to be worried about my job. Would she try to undercut me? No, Amanda might be enthusiastic, but she wasn't a backstabber.

"Thank you so much, Amanda. I owe you big time," I said.

She chuckled. "Seriously, don't worry about it. I'm the one who owes you. You've really taken me under your wing and taught me everything I needed to know."

I sighed, grateful for her gratitude and willingness to help me in my time of need. And regardless of what she said, I'd be sure to repay her somehow, even if it was just lunch or a delivery of flowers or something. After a few more moments of small talk, I said goodbye and hung up. Then I retrieved my laptop and began to search for flights. It was a good thing I had some money saved up. The prices were ridiculous, especially for roundtrip. Maybe I should just book one way tickets for now, and then book the return flight after all of Grandma's estate is settled. I'm sure my parents would help with the return plane tickets.

It was almost nine by the time I finished booking flights. Jamie arrived home exactly at nine. I gave him a weary smile. "We leave tomorrow morning at seven," I said.

He nodded. "Cool." Then he jogged upstairs and I heard his bedroom door close a second later.

I didn't know if I should be happy or worried that he wasn't putting up more of a fight. I yawned and stretched. For tonight, I'd be happy. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise. Lord knows I needed one right about now. Tomorrow would be a long day, so would the day after and the entire weekend.

As I trudged up to bed, I realized I never ate dinner. My stomach rumbled, and I headed back downstairs to grab a bowl of cereal. Jamie hadn't come in complaining he was hungry, so I assumed he ate at Derrick's. It wasn't the first time. I scooped a spoonful of Cheerios into my mouth. Exhaustion seeped into my bones, and more tears trickled from my eyes. I couldn't believe Grandma was gone.

# Chapter Two

The past two days had passed in a blur. I buried my grandmother yesterday, the one person in the world I knew I could always count on, and the one person I'd disappointed the most. My heart was broken. Because, I was convinced that she died of a broken heart, and I was responsible for her death. I sniffled and fought back more tears. I didn't know if it would ever stop hurting, but I knew I had to move on. It's what she would've wanted. Not to mention, Jamie needed his mother, and I couldn't be a blubbering mess.

I sat on the foot of the bed and looked around. This was the same exact room I'd grown up in. Other than removing the toys and girly things I no longer had a need for, the room was exactly the same, right down to the purple flowered bedspread. There's something weird about sleeping here again, despite the calm nostalgia I felt. What was that old saying? You can't go home again. I wasn't sure about that, but it was certainly much different than I remembered. Everything around here seemed to move slower with less care for time and deadlines, a true culture shock from the hustle and bustle of the city.

"Heather, honey, are you ready?" Mom knocked lightly on the bedroom door and peeked her head inside.

"Yeah." I smile tightly and grab my purse from where I'd tossed it on the bed earlier. "Are you sure Jamie will be okay here with Monica?" Monica was my parents' maid. They'd hired her shortly after I moved to the city with Phillip and had Jamie. I think they were looking for a way to fill the void of their only daughter leaving home for good.

"He'll be fine. Those two have hit it right off, and I know she'll enjoy his company." Mom smiled. "Now come on or we'll be late."

I stood and followed her out of the room. This wasn't the first time Jamie had been here, but I knew he didn't like it around here all that much, and the last thing I needed right now was for him to get in one of his moods and have an argument with him. I found him in the living room, sitting on the couch, flipping through the channels.

"We're heading to the lawyer's office, Jamie. We shouldn't be too long. Are you sure you don't want to come along?" I asked, standing in the doorway.

"Nope. I'm good here," he said without ever looking at me.

I sighed. "All right. See you later then. Call me if you need anything."

"Yup." He gave a halfhearted wave.

Jamie and I used to be so close, but ever since his father and I divorced and he became a teenager, it's like we're strangers forced to live together. Would I ever be able to repair our relationship back to what it used to be? Reluctantly, I followed Mom outside and got into the car with her.

***

"And finally..." Mr. Munroe said, studying the stack of papers in front of him.

We'd been at the lawyer's office for almost two hours now. I didn't realize my grandmother had so much stuff to giveaway. And in her typical fashion, she'd made sure everything was accounted for, each of her prized possessions outlined meticulously. So far, she'd left my parents several collections of antiques. Jamie had been willed a nice chunk of money to be used for college. So far, she hadn't left me anything. Not that I expected much from her. We hadn't exactly left things on the greatest of terms.

"The entirety of my ranch, including the house and property, all the furnishings within the house minus those items already bequeathed is left to my granddaughter, Heather Mills Walsh," Mr. Munroe said, finally looking up for the papers.

My jaw dropped, and the tips of my ears burned hot. Had I heard that correctly? My grandmother left me her ranch? Why would she do that? I cleared my throat and shook my head. "Uh... I don't know..."

Mom reached over and patted my arm, smiling. "This is what she wanted, honey. You know her dream was always to have you home, to raise Jamie here, with his family."

I sat speechless. Of course. Why hadn't I put the pieces together? That was the argument we'd had the last time I saw her. She told me she wouldn't ever give up on me, and even in death, she'd kept her promise. My heart raced. What was I going to do with her ranch? I couldn't possibly move in. I had my job and my friends back in the city. Jamie had school and his friends and his father, who didn't visit nearly as much as he should, but still. I couldn't tear him away from everything he knew. Could I?

"Upon your grandmother's death, I took it upon myself, per her wishes, to begin the title transfer. All I need is your signature, and it's all yours." Mr. Munroe handed me a clipboard with a pen. "I've put signature stickers near each spot I need you to sign."

In a daze, I took the clipboard from him and began to sign the papers. I was too surprised to make any rational decisions right now, but I knew I couldn't decline the ranch. It would break my mother's heart, not to mention it could make my grandmother roll over in her grave. Once the property was legally mine, and I had a chance to think things through, I'd made a choice. Either I'd move it or sell it.

I hesitated. The thought of selling my grandmother's ranch induced a mild panic attack. I couldn't imagine someone else living there. What if they demolished the house? Tore up the yard? Some of my best childhood memories were at that ranch. How could I even think about letting it go?

"Heather, are you all right?" Mom asked.

"Yeah." I smiled and nodded then resumed signing. When I was finished, I handed the items back. "So, what happens now?"

"I'll file these papers with the county and in a couple of weeks; you'll receive the official title in the mail. There's a small mortgage owed on the property." He flipped through more papers. "In the amount of seventeen thousand dollars, this will automatically transfer to you as well. Your grandmother was a very thorough woman. She made sure there would be no issues with the transfer of the ranch to you."

My stomach knotted. A mortgage? I could barely afford the mortgage on my house in the city. There was no way I could afford a second mortgage on top of it. I gripped the arms of the chair and forced my breaths to stay calm.

"Now, as the executor of her will," he continued, "we can schedule a time to meet at the ranch and disburse the personal items she bequeathed in her will. What date and time will work best for you?" He looked directly at my mother.

"Uh, I'm not sure. Heather?" She turned to me as if I had any idea what to say.

"Well, um, how about tomorrow? I know it's Saturday, but I have a flight back to the city on Monday, and it's really the only time I can do it..." I trailed off, uncomfortable with how he and my mother were staring at me. "What?"

"You're going back to the city? Why? Your grandmother just left you the ranch. Why on earth would you even think about going back to that crowded, unsafe city?" my mother asked, indignation dripped from her voice.

I sighed and shrugged. "I don't know, okay?" I said sharper than I intended. "My job is there. Jamie's school and friends. His father. It's not so easy to just pack up and move back to Texas."

My mother's face reddened. It was the telltale sign she was about to give me a tongue lashing. I held my breath, waiting for it to come, but thankfully, Mr. Munroe cut her off.

"I can certainly do tomorrow. How does eleven a.m. work for the two of you?" He smiled in an attempt to diffuse the situation brewing between me and my mom.

"Fine." Mom stood and yanked her purse over her shoulder. Then she stormed out of the office.

Great. It was going to be a long drive home. I stood as well. "Thank you, Mr. Munroe, for everything, and especially for looking out for my grandmother. She always spoke so fondly of you."

He stood and shook my head. "Well, she was certainly my favorite client. She'll be greatly missed."

I gave him a final smile, and then proceeded out of his office. When I approached Mom's car, she was already inside, the engine running. I couldn't help but feel like a teenager again, like I'd done something wrong and had to suffer the punitive wrath of my parents. As much as I loved my mother, she needed to understand I was a grown woman now. I had an ex-husband and a teenaged son. I hated disappointing her, but my decisions needed to be made for me and my son.

"I can't believe you, Heather Marie!" She pulled out of the parking lot, squealing her tires as she did.

"Mom," I groaned. Even at thirty four, I still cringed when she used my middle name like that. "I haven't made any definite decisions yet, okay?" I turned to look at her. "But I have a job I need to go back to on Monday. Jamie has school. And even if I decide to move back here, I have to sell my house, pack everything..." I turned to stare out the window. "It's not just a matter of never returning to the city, you know."

"I know," she whispered.

I jerked around to stare at her. I couldn't remember the last time she'd ever agreed with me so easily.

"I also know how much this meant to your grandmother, and I'd hate to think of her not being at peace in heaven because of the decisions we're making down here."

I rolled my eyes and turned away again. That was my mother – the queen of guilt trips. Well, this time, it wasn't going to work. No matter what she said or did, I had to make a decision that would be in the best interest of Jamie. He was my top priority.

The rest of the drive was made in silence. I was grateful for that, but based on the way my mother slammed her door, I knew she wasn't. She wanted me back in Texas, and it was hard to blame her for that. I couldn't imagine my child or grandchild being so far away from me. I sighed and climbed up the front steps.

"Hey mom, how'd it go?" Jamie asked when I entered.

He was in a surprisingly good mood. "It was good," I said, dropping my purse onto the kitchen island and taking a seat on a stool across from him. "How were things around here?"

"They were cool. Monica made me the best grilled cheese sandwich for lunch." He grinned, and I chuckled.

"That's good." In that moment, I realized something: Maybe moving away from the city would be good for him. I hated the idea of tearing him away from his school in the middle of the year and away from his friends and father, but we'd been here two days and his attitude was a hundred times better. The people around here were nicer, more accommodating and welcoming. Maybe this was exactly the change we both needed to be happier.

"You really have to learn how to make them," he said.

"I'll be sure to do that." I stood and ruffled his hair like I used to do when he was a little boy. I was shocked when he didn't push my hand away. It felt like he was my boy again, and the love I felt for him squeezed at my heart. I missed him terribly, missed the closeness we always had.

"Did you know Monica had a son?"

"No, I didn't. How old is he?"

"My age. She said he'd be here later, after school. She's going to introduce us. His name is Dean."

"Cool," I said, unsure where he was going with this. Then it hit me. "Let me guess, you want to hang out with him tonight?"

Jamie laughed. "If he's not a total dork, yeah."

I pretended to be upset with him. "Jamie," I said with an exasperated sigh and a shake of my head. "That's not nice."

"Mom," he groaned and moved out of my reach. "I'm not about to hang with a nerd."

"I doubt he's a nerd, but if you two hit it off, I don't mind if you hang out tonight. It'll do you good, I think."

"Thanks." He smiled then planted a kiss on my cheek. "I'm actually having fun here this time."

My breath hitched. It was now or never. He was in a good mood and now was the time to strike. "Jamie, we're going to move here. To Texas."

He stared at me for a moment as my words registered in his mind. "What?"

"Nammy Noreen left me her entire ranch and all the property. So, I've decided we're going to move to Texas and live there." I swallowed hard. Generally, I wasn't afraid of my son or his reactions. I was the parent after all, but this entire situation was so big and scary for both of us.

"Is this some kind of joke?"

"No, this is no joke, Jamie. Financially, it makes sense."

"What about Dad?" He crossed his arms and glared at me.

I gritted my teeth. There was so much I wanted to say – like how his father was too busy diddling his secretary to be a dad, or how his father couldn't be bothered to visit once in the past three months, or how his father was a month behind in child support – but I didn't say any of those things because I didn't want Jamie to think poorly of his father simply because of the hurt feelings I had toward Phillip.

"The decision has been made. We'll return to the city on Monday and spend the week making the necessary arrangements." My tone was firm, and I hoped he knew this wasn't up for discussion.

"I hate you!" he screamed and ran up the stairs. A second later, he slammed the guest room door. I cringed.

"What on God's green earth is going on out here?" Dad asked, coming in from the backdoor.

"Nothing." I headed upstairs to try and talk some sense into my only child.

# Chapter Three

The transition from the city to my grandmother's ranch – or rather, my ranch now – didn't go as smoothly as I'd hoped. Jamie fought me on everything. He hated it here, and I couldn't blame him. He'd left behind all of his friends, everything he'd known, his father – who gave me a ton of shit about moving back to Texas yet didn't do a thing to talk me out of it or make amends with our son. And on top of all that, I was struggling to learn the ropes around here, to know what to do and when. There were so many animals that needed my attention, so much land that needing tending, and not enough time or money or help. The five ranch hands my grandmother had employed agreed to stay on, to help me get my bearings, but six people wasn't enough. I honestly don't know how my grandmother did this all the time.

We'd been here about a month now, and every day brought on a new challenge, a new skill I needed to have but didn't, new arguments with Jamie, and constant visits from my parents wanting to offer "helpful" advice but never willing to get their hands dirty to actually help. I was constantly exhausted, and I didn't know how much longer I could go on. Maybe selling the ranch was my only option. It would certainly bring peace to my life. But every time I think of selling, my heart breaks, knowing it would disappoint my grandmother.

I wiped my hands on my jeans and walked up the front porch. There was still a lot to be done, but I needed a few minutes to catch my breath and get a cold drink. My mind, however, didn't ever rest. I poured over different scenarios on how to make life around here easier, more affordable. I might be able to sell some of the animals. Surely there must be people around here willing to buy a cow for meat. The horses – there were several horse farms nearby and a rodeo.

The problem was I didn't know where to begin seeking buyers. Would placing an ad in the local paper work? Maybe I should just ask one of the ranch hands. They'd probably know. Once inside, I grabbed the pitcher of lemonade from the refrigerator and filled a glass. I took a long drink, then another. The cool liquid calmed me a little. Grandma always told me no problem was insolvable, that you just had to ask the right questions and the answer would find you. I channeled that thought, clung to it, and prayed it would come through for me now like it had in the past.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. A knock at the door interrupted my thoughts. When I answered it, four tall, well-built men in cowboy hats and boots stood on the porch. The man in front had a thick, dark mustache. He took off his hat and bowed. "Ma'am."

I remained in the doorway, refusing to let them in until I knew who they were and what they wanted. The ranch was situated on several acres far from town, far from any other houses and help. "How can I help you gentlemen?" I eyed each of them, committing their appearances to memory.

"Sorry to bother you this afternoon, but we were hoping you had time to accommodate a brief meeting with me and my brothers here," the man said.

Brothers? That was shocking. None of them looked anything like each other. "Excuse me for sounding rude, but who are you?"

The man smiled, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood on edge. Something about the way he smiled, the way his eyes darkened and his teeth filled his mouth creeped me out. Then he chuckled. "I apologize for my manners. I'm Buck Jennings, and these are my brothers Will, Jim, and John."

I nodded and gave my politest smile despite the unease in my veins. "Nice to meet you." I stepped out onto the porch and closed the door behind me before nodding toward the wicker table and chairs situated on the far end of the porch. "I have time now to meet with you gentleman. Please, let's sit." The sooner I heard them out and got rid of them, the better.

Buck took the seat next across from me while his brothers sat on either side. Clearly Buck was the leader of this little group. I folded my hands in my lap and waited for him to speak.

"We were very sorry to hear of Noreen's passing. She was a staple in this community," Buck said, smoothing his fingers over his mustache.

"Thank you. She truly is missed." I took a deep breath. "Did you know her well?"

Buck gave a curt nod. "We'd done some business in the past, which is what brought me out to see you today Miss...?"

"Heather," I said.

"Heather." Buck grinned. "Shortly before Noreen passed, we'd been in negotiations to purchase this ranch. Unfortunately, we didn't get around to making the deal due to her untimely departure from this world."

The more he talked, the more uncomfortable I became. I couldn't put my finger on it, but everything about him screamed slimy. I glanced around at his brothers, who all appeared bored or uninterested. I shifted in my seat and leaned forward; giving the illusion I was interested in what else he had to say.

"But we're still very much interested in buying this ranch." Buck leaned back, the chair creaking under his weight. For a moment, I worried it might break. "And we're prepared to offer you twice as much as we'd offered Noreen."

At that, my ears perked up, and my heart raced. In one of my many nights of sleeplessness, I'd researched the value of a ranch this size. Even if their initial offer was half of the market value, it was more than she had right now. It could solve all of her problems. "And how much is that exactly?" I asked.

"Five hundred thousand. Cash," Buck said, a glint in his eyes.

I inhaled sharply. Half a million dollars? That was a lot of money, more than I'd ever make in my lifetime, more than this ranch would make in the next twenty years. It was on the tip of my tongue to say, "Yes, you've got a deal" and shake Buck's hand in an old fashioned gentleman's agreement. Yet, there was something very odd about this entire situation. I couldn't believe my grandmother had considered selling the ranch. She loved it here. She'd wanted me to be here, wanted Jamie to be here. It was her dream. So why would she sell? Unless... Maybe she'd decided to sell after we'd had our argument. Was she that heartbroken she'd give up her life's work, her passion? I swallowed hard, tears burning my throat.

That much money would solve all my problems. I could pay off the debts, give the ranch hands a decent settlement, move back to the city without having to worry about jumping right back into work. The idea of going back to the city turned my stomach. For so long it had been home, but what was left there for me? Even though Jamie hated it here, it was better for him. Around here I didn't have to worry about him going to a friend's house and running the streets, getting into trouble, getting mugged or worse. There wasn't much trouble or danger for him to find around here.

As much as I could use the money, I had to do what was best for Jamie, and I couldn't disappoint my grandmother again. Not to mention my parents would probably disown me if I sold this ranch to anyone let alone these four guys. I took a deep breath and mentally prepared myself for what might be the dumbest decision of my life.

"That's a very generous offer, Buck, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to decline. I'm sorry. The ranch isn't for sale."

His smile faded, and his eyes darkened as he narrowed his brows. But then just as quickly, his face lightened, the anger replaced with something easier. "You drive a hard bargain, Heather. All right," he nodded, "we can give you six hundred thousand."

"Again, that's extremely generous of you, but it doesn't change my mind. I'm sorry." I stood, hoping they'd get the hint and do the same. I wanted them to leave. "The ranch isn't for sale."

"Told you it wouldn't work," Will mumbled.

I shot him a dirty look, wondering what he meant by that. Were they trying to scam me? My decision not to sell felt better and better as the seconds ticked by. I didn't know what these men were up to, but I wasn't going to have any part in it.

Buck stood, and his brothers followed his lead. "I'm sorry to hear that, Heather. I think you're making a big mistake, one you'll come to regret." He tipped his hat in farewell. "Good day, ma'am."

I stood by the front door and watched as they climbed into their pickup truck and left, dust and dirt swirling behind their tires. I shook my head and went back inside, locking the door and the deadbolt. I was probably being paranoid, but Buck's parting words swirled in my mind. _One you'll come to regret._ Was that a threat? It sure sounded like one. I forced myself to forget about it and went to take a shower. Jamie would be home from school in an hour, and I promised my parents we'd go over for dinner tonight.

The shower helped to calm me, and by the time I was dressed and ready, it was almost three in the afternoon. I yawned, hating how tired I was all the time lately. Granted, working nine to five in that office made me tired, too, but that was mental exhaustion, which was so much different than physical exhaustion. Every muscle in my body ached.

With just under an hour to kill, I started to clean up the kitchen. When I was a little girl, I'd stand on a chair near the sink and help Grandma bake cookies and breads. The kitchen here was so much different than the one in my old house. This wasn't nearly as updated or pristine, and still had that distinct fifties look to it. It definitely needed a major upgrade, but that would have to wait until the funds were available, if I even decided to remodel. I kind of liked the rustic, nostalgic look. The memories alone made it worthwhile to leave it as it was. It had an open floor plan and great functionality. I would've killed for a refrigerator that size at the old house.

"Excuse me, Miss Heather?" Richard came in through the back door, hat in hand, and a sad look on his face.

I sighed, knowing whatever he was about to say wouldn't be good. "Hey, Richard. How's it going?" I tossed the dish cloth into the sink and gripped the edge of the counter.

"Well, uh, me and the other hands were talkin' and we were wondering what you'd like us to do?"

I raised a brow. "What do you mean?" An edge of panic slipped into my voice, and I cleared my throat to try and hide it. "You guys can just keep doing whatever it is you do, whatever my grandmother always had you do."

"You see, that's the thing, Miss. Your grandmother always gave us direction, told us what to do from one moment to the next." He shook his head. "She shore worked us hard, but we knew from minute to minute what we were supposed to do. And now... Well, we're all a little lost."

Breathing became difficult, and I gripped the counter tighter, my knuckles turning white from the force. I had no idea what to tell him. I had no idea what I was doing and had been relying on them to teach me, to keep this place running smoothly. If they didn't know what to do then I was in some really big trouble.

"Okay, um, so maybe you guys could come up with a list of things she used to have you do, and we could go over it and delegate tasks that way?" This is why I wasn't ever in a management position. I hated telling people what to do. I wasn't any good at it. "Or..." I pushed off the counter and paced in front of the sink. "You've been here the longest? I mean, you're the first hand my grandmother hired, right?"

"Yes ma'am." He smiled proudly.

I smiled back at him, hoping my somewhat brilliant plan would work. "Okay, then how do you feel about a promotion?"

"Excuse me?" He took a step back, the idea seeming to scare him.

"A promotion, you've been here the longest; you know this ranch better than I do. So, I'm officially making you a supervisor." I frowned, wondering if that was the right title to give him, but figured it didn't really matter so long as he could do the job. "You can be in charge of the other ranch hands, give them tasks, and ensure the chores are done. And I'll still be here, so it's not like you have to do it all on your own."

Richard began to shake his head. "Oh, no, I don't think I can do that. It's a nice offer, Miss Heather, but I'm in no position to—"

I stepped toward him and clutched his hands in mine, my eyes pleading with his. "Please, Richard. It's no secret I'm struggling here. I don't know what I'm doing, and if I don't have someone to help me, this place is going to fail." Tears pooled in the corners of my eyes. I couldn't fail. Grandmother would never forgive me. "Please. I'm begging you. Help me."

He let out a heavy sigh and nodded. "All right, I'll help and be the supervisor, but we need to sit down and go over some things. Noreen was very clear on what she did and didn't want us doing. I need to know the same from you."

I squealed with delight and smiled. "Deal! First thing tomorrow morning, we'll sit down and go over everything. Be in here at six a.m. I'll have breakfast on the table."

Richard chuckled. "I can see why your grandmother adored you so much. You're just like here." With another chuckle and a shake of his head, he left.

I blew out a breath, feeling mildly relieved. I knew things were getting behind around here, but I had no idea how to fix that. Hopefully now, with Richard's help, we'd get this ranch back on track. In the distance, I heard Jamie's bus coming down the road. I flung open the door, intent on meeting him near the car so he couldn't lock himself in his room, when I came face to face with a man on a horse, a cow on a rope trailing behind him.

"I believe this belongs to you, ma'am," he said, his voice deep and velvety.

# Chapter Four

I was dumbstruck by his handsomeness, unable to form a coherent thought let alone speak any actual words. So I stood there, staring at him for far too long, but I just couldn't help it. He was all man with muscular arms, tanned skin, a strong jaw and deep, penetrating eyes. A large, black Stetson sat atop his head, strands of dark brown hair curled around his ears.

"Ma'am?" He dismounted from his horse, and I watched his long, lean legs as he hit the ground, that rope still clutched in his hand. "Found your cow wandering through my pasture. It has your ranch tag on it, so I'm just returning her."

"Uh, that's my cow?" Of all the things to say, I had to say that. I was so stupid at times. Heat crept up my neck and face. I fanned my cheeks with my hands then quickly dropped them to my sides, feeling like a jerk.

The man smiled, and each side of his face caved in with two of the most gorgeous dimples I'd ever seen. The effect they had on me was surreal, and they should be illegal. My heart raced, and my breaths were shallow.

"Yes, ma'am." He held out the rope, and I took it, unsure what else to do.

"Thanks." I glanced around, hoping one of the ranch hands were nearby, but of course they weren't.

He nodded, tilting his hat in her direction. "I noticed a large hole in your fence over by my property line." He turned and pointed off to his left. "Pretty sure that's where she escaped. You'll want to get that fixed."

"Yes, of course." I clutched the rope tighter, and the cow picked at the grass, chewing aimlessly, oblivious to me or the sexy stranger who'd brought her home. "Thank you."

Jamie's bus pulled to a stop at the end of the driveway. He walked with his head down, ear buds tucked in his ears, completely ignoring everyone. He walked by with a quick glance at me and the cow, a slightly longer look at the stranger, then he bounded up the porch steps.

"Don't forget, Jamie, we have dinner plans tonight," I called after him. He didn't give me any indication he'd heard me. I sighed. Great. Now I'd have to fight with him to get him out of his room. Maybe I should call my parents and invite them over here. It'd be easier.

"Well, I won't keep you." The man turned back to his horse and slipped one foot into the stirrup.

"Wait," I said a little louder than necessary. "I didn't even get your name."

He graced her with another amazing smile. "Hudson Lyle."

"Hudson." I smiled. "I'm Heather Walsh."

"It's a pleasure." His gaze moved between me and the cow. I felt foolish for standing here, holding a roped cow. "Would you like some help putting her away?"

I sighed with visible relief. "That would be great."

Hudson took the rope from me. "Where would you like her?"

I looked around. I knew which barn the cows were kept in, but I wasn't sure if they were in there or out in the pasture. "Um, in that faded red barn over there, the one with the broken door." Talk about a mess. A hole in my fence, a broken barn door, this place was falling apart.

He tugged on the rope, and the cow began to walk with him. I fell in step beside him, my hands tucked in my back pockets. There was an air of quiet arrogance to him, and I found that so attractive. My ex, Phillip, had been much too needy, always asking for reassurance. It's no wonder he found a young thing to make him feel good about himself. But in the very brief time I'd known Hudson, I had a feeling he wasn't like that, he didn't need a woman or anyone to validate his self-worth. That was a refreshing quality.

"So, you said you saw the cow near your property line. You live nearby?" I asked.

"Yes. I live just over there." He pointed off toward the left, same place he had before. "My ranch is just beyond that tree line over there."

"We're neighbors. Lucky me." I laughed nervously.

He glanced over and smiled, which sent my heart racing again. "Or lucky me." He winked then stopped at the barn door, opening it with little effort. "Lead the way," he said, motioning for me to go in ahead of him.

I took a deep breath and walked inside. While I knew the cows were housed in this barn, I had no idea where this one went specifically. As we walked down the center of the bar, I stopped at the first empty spot. "Here is fine."

Hudson expertly guided the cow into its spot and secured her. Then he grabbed the rake leaning against the wall and gathered some hay from the neighbor stall. He put it in front of her then rubbed her head. I watched in amazement. He truly cared about her even though she wasn't his.

"There." He replaced the rake. "You really should get that fence fixed as soon as possible. You're lucky I found her. Some of the other ranchers around here aren't as honest. You could lose quite a bit of livestock that way."

Memories of the men who'd visited earlier flashed through my mind, and I suppressed a shudder. I wanted to do something nice to thank him for his kindness, but I didn't have any money to give him. Living in the city, the primary way to show gratitude was to give a tip, but I was positive that didn't work around here.

"Would you like to go back to the house and come in for a drink? It's the least I can do for you bringing back my cow." I smiled, silently wishing against all odds that he'd say yes.

He shrugged, showing the first signs of indecision and embarrassment. "Sure."

"Great." We headed back to the house, and I led him in through the kitchen. "Make yourself comfortable." I nodded at the kitchen table and made my way to the refrigerator. "I have lemonade, sweet tea, water. I have some diet pop. Or I have coffee."

"Some sweet tea would be great," he said, his voice taking on a deep, southern drawl. The sound sent a shiver down my spine.

I pulled the pitcher from the fridge and filled two glasses then carried them to the table. I handed him one and sat in the chair across from him. He took a long drink, and I watched with fascination at the way his throat worked up and down, and the way he licked the excess liquid from his bottom lip.

"This is some mighty fine tea. Did you make it?" he asked.

I nodded. "It was my grandmother's recipe."

"You're Noreen's granddaughter." He tilted his head to the side, studying me. "Yeah, I can see the resemblance. Noreen was a wonderful woman. Sad to hear she passed."

"Thank you." It warmed my heart to know so many people had admired my grandmother. Despite refusing to move here while she was alive, it was nice to know she had people around who cared about her. "She left this place to me," I said, looking around at the interior of the house.

"You're running it alone?" Hudson's face turned a light shade of pink, and I smiled, averting my gaze to my glass.

"Yes. It's just me and my son, Jamie." It wasn't the smartest or safest thing to tell him, but I had a good feeling about Hudson. He didn't give me the creeps like those other guys had. "Do you know anything about the Jennings' brothers?"

Hudson's face went stoic, and if I wasn't mistaken, anger clouded his eyes. "You'd be best off to avoid those boys. They ain't nothing but trouble."

I sighed. It was nice to know my suspicions and instincts were still accurate. Now, more than ever, I was glad I'd declined their offer. Even if they had come through with payment, I was sure doing business with them would've been a nightmare.

"Do you have help around here?" Hudson asked, disrupting my thoughts. "This is one of the largest ranches in the area. Your grandmother was a strong woman, but even she had a lot of help."

"I have about six men who stayed on to help, but I'll be honest, I have no idea what I'm doing." I laughed.

Hudson smiled and took another drink of his tea. "Well, if you need an extra pair of hands, I'd be happy to help out. Until you're on track with things, of course."

I raised my eyebrows in shock. "You'd do that?" People in the city were never this friendly, and most of the time they wouldn't volunteer to help out unless they expected something in return. "I can't pay you." I frowned.

He chuckled, the sound like a virtual caress. "Good because I'm not looking for a job. I'm just being neighborly, helping a pretty woman in need." He winked.

I felt my face flush with warmth, and I was again diverted my attention to something else. Looking at him for too long was like staring at the sun – exciting but dangerous. "Well, thank you. I'm meeting with my ranch supervisor tomorrow morning to go over a list of chores. Could you come for that? It would be nice to have someone else here who knows what's supposed to be done."

"What time?"

"Six in the morning." I scrunched up my face expecting him to tell me I was crazy. But all he did was smile.

"I'll be here."

"Really?" Did I sound too excited about that? I cleared my throat. "Thanks. Again." I laughed. "I can pay you for tomorrow with eggs and bacon."

"Now that's the best form of payment." He chuckled and finished his tea. Then he stood. "I'll be heading back now. I recall you saying you had dinner plans this evening. Don't want to hold you up."

I was surprised he remembered that considering I'd said it to Jamie in passing. I stood as well, searching for a reason to get him to stay. I was enjoying talking with him – and staring at him – and I desperately wanted him to stay longer. "Oh, those plans." I waved my hand in a dismissive gesture. "They weren't anything too important. In fact, I'll probably just order a pizza. You're welcome to stay and join us." I chewed on my bottom lip as I waited for him to answer.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." I smiled. "It's the least I can do." I felt like I owed him a huge debt for how nice he's been to me. And I couldn't deny I was physically attracted to him. I hadn't been on a date with anyone since my divorce. There hadn't been anyone I was interested in – until now. I glanced at his left hand. No wedding band, and no tan line to indicate he'd had one and removed it. That was good.

"All right. I'm going to take Carter home then I'll be back. He doesn't do so well at night."

I gave him a confused look. Carter? Oh, right. "Your horse."

He laughed. "He's more like my trusty sidekick, but he's getting up there in age. I won't be too long."

"That's okay. Take your time. I'll order the pizza."

As soon as he was out the door, I rushed to find my cell phone. I texted my mom first to let her know I wasn't feeling well and to ask if we could reschedule dinner. Thankfully she didn't ask any questions or give me a hard time. Next, I called the local pizza joint and ordered two large pizzas. I forgot to ask Hudson what he liked, so I went with the standard cheese and pepperoni.

"Jamie!" I shouted up the stairs.

"What?" he hollered back.

It stopped me in my tracks. Normally he ignored me. "I ordered pizza for dinner. Our neighbor will be joining us."

"I'm not hungry."

I sighed. He was always hungry, but he was probably angry at me over something again. He was always angry lately. "You can eat in your room if you want."

"Fine."

Then I heard the sound of him turning up the radio. I had half a mind to march up there and throw that damn radio out the window. Instead, I turned and walked away, trying to remember he was struggling with this change just as much as I was. Hopefully, with time, he'd come around and realize it wasn't so bad around here. With a resigned sigh, I headed down to the basement. On top of everything else she did and was, Grandma was a wine connoisseur, and she had an impressive stock of wine. I thought a nice red wine would taste perfect with the pizza. I stopped halfway down the stairs. Wine? What in the hell was I thinking? If I brought out a bottle of wine, Hudson might think I thought this was some sort of date. And I didn't think that. I mean, it would be nice if it was, but it wasn't.

I turned and went back upstairs just in time to hear a pickup truck pulling into the driveway. I peeked out the front window. Hudson was getting out of a rugged looking black Dodge Ram. It its better days, it was probably a pretty sweet looking truck. But it had certainly seen better days. I went to the door and opened it. "That didn't take long at all."

"Told you it wouldn't." He laughed and held up a brown paper bag. "I brought a bottle of wine. Hope that's okay. It was given to me as a gift, and I'm generally not a big drinker..."

It was my turn to laugh. Apparently Hudson and I thought the same way. I nodded. "That's perfect." I stepped aside to let him enter, and took the bottle of wine. "I'll chill this in the fridge until the pizza arrives. Would you like something to drink in the meantime?"

"Another glass of that sweet tea would be nice," he said, pulling out the same chair he'd sat in earlier.

"Coming right up." I poured him another glass and set it in front of him. "I'm glad you came over today," I said before I could filter my thoughts and stop myself.

"I am, too. I'd heard around town that someone had taken over the property, but I had no idea it was Noreen's granddaughter."

"Yeah, she left the house and all the property to me in her will. It was a shock to say the least."

"Why's that?"

"She and I didn't exactly part on good terms. The last we spoke, we had a bit of a disagreement." I frowned, remembering how heated that discussion had been, how mean and inconsiderate I'd been toward her.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Families can be complicated." His tone implied he had some firsthand knowledge of that. I wanted to pry, but that would be rude, so I just nodded in agreement.

There was a knock on the door, and I jumped up. "That's probably the pizza." By the time she got the door opened, Hudson was beside her.

"Two large pizzas? One cheese, one pepperoni," the delivery guy said.

"That's me," I said, taking the two boxes from him. I turned to set them on the nearest counter so I could grab the money I'd set there, but before I had the chance, Hudson was pulling bills out of his wallet.

"Keep the change," Hudson said to the delivery guy. He closed the door.

I set the pizzas on the stove and sighed. "You didn't have to do that you know. I invited you, it was my treat."

"I know, but I'm not the type of man who allows a woman to pay for a meal," he said simply.

I had to resist the urge to squeal like a teenage girl who was just asked out by the hottest, most popular boy in school. "Thanks. Seems like that's all I've been saying to you today."

He smiled. "Good thing that's my favorite word then, huh?"

I laughed. It was so easy to be with him, to talk with him, to laugh. It was a welcomed change from being with Phillip, who was always so serious and intense. I took three plates from the cupboard and handed him one. I loaded a second one with three slices of pepperoni. "I promised Jamie he could eat in his room tonight."

"I take it he doesn't like it around here too much."

"That's a colossal understatement. I keep hoping he'll eventually come around."

"I'm sure he will. Kids are resilient."

"Do you have any?" I asked.

"No, but I have several nieces."

I smiled. There was nothing sexier than a man who adored children. "Okay, help yourself. I'll be right back." I left him in the kitchen and headed upstairs, the smile never leaving my face. I had a feeling tonight was going to be a very good night.

# Chapter Five

I stumbled downstairs at 5:45 a.m., barely awake. After pizza last night, Hudson had hung around, and we'd spent the night talking. He hadn't left until a little after midnight, and I was so excited, I hadn't been able to fall asleep. I was certainly going to pay for it today. I yawned and rubbed my eyes. Richard and Hudson would be arriving in fifteen minutes, and they were expecting a breakfast I'd promised them. What I really wanted to do was go back to bed for a few hours.

"Morning," Jamie said as he walked into the kitchen. He was dressed for school in his usual jeans and T-shirt. His Converse sneakers were firmly laced up his feet, and his backpack was slung over one shoulder.

"Morning." I smiled. "Hungry? I'm making bacon and eggs."

"Nope." He grabbed a donut from the half empty box and took a large bite.

I shook my head, wishing he'd learn to eat better. Of course, greasy bacon and fried eggs weren't all that healthy, but it was better than a chocolate topped, cream filled donut. "Are you coming straight home today?"

He shrugged, grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl and shoved it into his backpack. "Maybe. Dean mentioned something about going to the pool hall after school."

"Yeah?" Hope swelled in my chest. Dean was Monica's son – my parents' maid – and he and Jamie had really hit it off the first time they'd met. I knew they stayed in touch via phone and internet, but until just now, Jamie hadn't expressed any interest in hanging out with Dean. "Well, you're welcome to go as long as you call to check in."

He stopped with the donut half way to his mouth. "I am?"

I laughed and playfully swatted at him with the dish towel. "Yes. In fact, I think it would do you some good to get out of this house and socialize. Dean's a good kid."

"You're only saying that because you know his mom."

I rolled my eyes and reached for my purse. "Here." I handed him a twenty dollar bill. "Make sure you get yourself something to eat. I'm not sure what the plans are for dinner yet." Part of me hoped it would be a repeat of last night, but chances were good I'd have to cash in the raincheck I took with my parents last night.

"Thanks, Mom." He kissed me on the cheek. "I'll call after school." Then he was out the door and down the driveway.

I watched him for a moment, lingering long enough to see him safely board the bus. It was a habit I'd never been able to break, watching him get on the bus. When we'd lived in the city, he had to walk a block to the bus stop, so I was deprived of watching him, so it was nice to be able to do that again. As soon as the bus pulled away, I began to prepare breakfast.

"Morning, Miss Heather." Richard entered and tipped his head in greeting.

"Hi, Richard." I tossed a smile at him over my shoulder and turned back to the frying bacon. "Breakfast is almost ready. Have a seat."

"Smells delicious," Hudson said, stepping out from behind Richard.

I momentarily froze, the sound of his voice paralyzing me, warming me from the inside out. "Hello," I said, my voice giving out slightly. "Uh, I'm almost finished with breakfast. So, have a seat." It was hard to concentrate on not burning the eggs when I knew Hudson was watching me. His gaze was like a warm, loving caress on my back.

"Oh," I said suddenly, turning to face them. "I'm sorry. Richard, this is Hudson Lyle. Hudson, this is my new ranch supervisor, Richard."

The two men exchanged handshakes and pleasantries as I put the finishing touches on breakfast. I brought each of them a plate, and made myself a smaller one. "There's some orange juice in the fridge, or I have freshly brewed coffee."

"Coffee," they both said simultaneously. I laughed and poured three mugs of coffee. Then I sat and dug into my food.

"So, did you two ever meet before?" I asked looking back and forth between them. Hudson gave me an odd look, so I added, "I mean, with Richard having worked on the ranch for so long and with Hudson having done business with my grandmother before..."

"No, I didn't really come over here all that much," Hudson said, chewing on a piece of bacon. "Most of my interactions with Noreen were in town when we'd meet in passing."

"Oh. Well, Richard... Hudson here as graciously offered to help me learn the ropes a little better and get the ranch back in a smooth working order. I figured the three of us could work together this morning on all the lists and duties."

"Whatever you like, Miss Heather."

I sighed. Richard was an older gentleman, nice, but the constant "Miss Heather" was getting on my nerves. I knew it was a sign of respect, but it drove me nuts. "Okay then." I gathered up the dirty dishes and placed them in the sink then returned to the table with a notebook and a pen.

"The best place to start is probably with a list of repairs that need to be made," Hudson said. "During my ride over here yesterday, I noticed a few things. That whole in the fence for starters." He winked at me, and I quickly looked away, afraid Richard would see how smitten I was with Hudson. Not that I had anything to be embarrassed about, but I didn't need my ranch hands thinking I was a sap or something. "That barn door."

Richard nodded in agreement. "The horse stable needs a new roof. It's holding up for now, but the first bad storm we get and it'll be torn off like a wet Band-Aid."

I sighed and wrote the items on the pad of paper. "Any idea who can fix these issues and how much it will cost?" There wasn't much money left in the ranch's maintenance account, and I'd spent all of my personal savings on travel expenses for the funeral and then the move here.

"I can fix them," Hudson said, tapping his fingers on the table.

I stared at him. "You can?"

He nodded. "Yes. I'll start with the fence so you don't lose anymore animals." He chuckled, giving me a playful smile. "I believe I've got some spare fencing back at my place I don't need. And the barn door just needs some new hinges. The stable roof will need a bit more, but I think between my guys and your ranch hands, we should be able to get it done this weekend." Hudson looked to Richard, who was smiling and nodding.

"Wow. Thanks." I was a bit overwhelmed by the amount of help and generosity Hudson was giving me. I was a stranger to him, yet he was going out of his way to help me, help keep this ranch functional. "Okay, so, let me know what you'll need for the stable roof and I'll call around on supply prices today."

"Good. I would also suggest we take a full tour of the ranch, inspect things to make sure nothing else needs repairs." Hudson cleared his throat. "You do know how to ride, don't you?"

If I wasn't mistaken, I thought I heard a bit of contempt in his voice. Just because I'd moved here from the city didn't mean I didn't know how to ride a horse. I had been born and raised here for crying out loud. "Yes, I know how to ride," I said, giving him a dirty look.

He laughed, and so did Richard. I rolled my eyes, trying to be mad, but I smiled nonetheless. "You're a jerk," I mumbled, and Hudson only laughed harder.

"Aw, we're just teasing, Miss Heather. You're so easy to get going. Just like Noreen."

I smiled fondly. I loved to hear how much people around here adored my grandmother. If only I hadn't been so stubborn, if only I'd spent more of my adulthood here. I sighed. There wasn't a thing I could do to change the past, but I could – and would – work my ass off on this ranch to make her proud.

"All right, back to work." I tried to make my voice stern and authoritative, but the mood was too light, too easygoing, and that was fine. It was better than working with people who were grumpy and unreceptive. "So, we've got a plan for the repairs. What's next?"

"Daily chores," Richard said. "Every day, the animals need to be fed, cleaned, and watered. The cows and horses need to be let out to pasture, and then put back in at night."

"Okay." I took a deep breath. That seemed easy enough. "Who is currently doing that?"

"Frank, Larry, and I feed and water the cows while Hank, Chris, and Jeremy feed and groom the horses. Then we let them out to pasture and work on cleaning the barn and stable. After that, Noreen usually gave us other tasks to do."

Now it all made sense why Richard and the other guys were lost and needing direction from me. Too bad I had no idea what to have them do. "Okay," I said slowly, "well, what did Noreen normally have you do?"

"All sorts of things. She usually sent me into town once or twice a week for supplies. Hank would generally travel to the next town over to get hay. If one of the animals were sick, she'd have us contact the vet. And then whatever other things she needed done."

I nodded and set the pen down, stretching my arms over my head. Who knew there was so much to running a ranch? "So, you're okay with still doing those things?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good." I stood and refilled my coffee mug, offering both of them more, too. "Then we'll stay on this schedule for the time being. When the morning chores are done, you guys can help Hudson with the repairs. And I'd like a complete list of supplies we need. So as you're going about your day, keep an eye on things that need to be fixed and supply's we may need..etc.

"Sure thing," Richard said.

"Thank you both for your help."

I sipped my coffee and wracked my brain for anything I might be missing, but nothing jumped out at me. "All right, let's get to work then."

Richard stood and smiled. "Thanks, Miss Heather. And if you need anything, just give a shout. One of us is always around to lend a hand."

"Thanks, Richard." When he left, I turned to Hudson, who was still seated at the table. "I really can't thank you enough for all of your help. I know you have your own ranch to worry about, so if you can't help around here, I'll understand."

"I have a great team of men at my ranch. They can handle things around there for a few days while I help around here, and if they need me, they know how to reach me. In fact," Hudson retrieved a business card from his wallet and handed it to me, "there's my personal cell phone number on there. Call me any time.... for anything."

I took his card and clutched it in my hand. "Thank you." I wondered if his invitation to call any time for anything included personal reasons. Forcing the thought from my mind, I refocused on the tasks at hand. Daydreaming about a real date with Hudson was silly. If he liked me in that way, he would've asked me out last night. Lord knows I'd given him plenty of opportunities, and he hadn't picked up on a single one of them. Or maybe he had and had chosen to ignore them, which only confirmed my fears that he wasn't interested in me romantically.

"If you're ready, we can head out on that ride around the ranch. Anything you see that you want repaired, point it out, and I can notice things you might not."

"Sounds good." I finished my coffee and put the mug in the sink. "I should warn you, it's been years since I've ridden, but it's like riding a bike, right?" I laughed.

He grinned. "Yeah, something like that." Hudson held the front door open for me, and I stepped out into the bright, rising sun. I shielded my gaze against the shine and considered going back inside to get my sunglasses.

"How well do you know the horses in the stable?" he asked as we walked toward the barn.

"Uh, not well. I know Biscuit is gentle. One of the last times I was here, Grandma let me ride her, so I'll more than likely take her out today. I'm sure one of the ranchers can direct you to a horse that'll suit you."

"Fair enough."

We walked in silence to the horse barn. When we entered, Hank smiled. "Miss Heather."

I smiled to hide my annoyance. I should really send a memo or something to let the men know they don't have to constantly call me Miss Heather; that just plain 'ole Heather is sufficient. "Morning, Hank. My friend here needs a horse. Do you have any suggestions?"

"Nico is a good, strong horse. He's well trained and easy to handle."

"Perfect," Hudson said.

"And I'll be riding Biscuit," I said.

"Yes, ma'am. I'll get her saddled up for you. Nico is all the way down at the end. Saddles are on the far wall." Hank pointed toward the opposite end of the barn.

Hudson moved down there and busied himself with getting Nico ready to ride. I hung by Hank, watching how he saddled Biscuit. I used to know how to do all of that, but it had been so long. Made me wonder if riding a horse was anything like riding a bike – would I really remember once I was up on her back? I took a deep breath. The last thing I wanted was to prove Hudson's teasing to be true. I wanted to show him I could ride alongside him without too many problems.

Several moments later, I mounted Biscuit and met Hudson outside. He was atop Nico, a calm, serene look upon his face. Being on horseback was home to him, and it looked damn good on him, too. He was so sexy and confident and totally not interested in me. I frowned. "Let's go," I said, wanting to get this over with so I wouldn't have to force him to spend a moment longer with me when he clearly wanted to be somewhere else.

Hudson nudged Nico and the horse began a lazy walk. I maneuvered Biscuit the same way and was soon right next to Hudson. We started at the house and rode along the perimeter of the fence.

"I don't know when the last time this fence was repaired, but if you've got one hole, chances are good you've got more, so we'll check this out first then make our way around the rest of the property," he said.

"Okay." I gripped Biscuits' reins a little tighter and studied the fence as we moved past it. So far, things looked good. Maybe I'd get lucky and there would only be the one hole.

"That fence post there might need replacing." Hudson came to a stop and hopped off Nico. "It's loose, see?" He put his palm on the top of the post and it moved much more than it should. "It's a cheap, easy fix. I'll grab a new post when I go to get the fencing." In one swift movement, he was back on Nico, and we were walking again.

"I miss riding," I said after a length of silence. "I'll have to do this more often."

Hudson glanced over and smiled. "If you ever want a riding partner, let me know. I love to saddle up and spend the day in the wild."

I grinned like an idiot. "How about tomorrow? I could pack a picnic. We could head out after morning chores." I couldn't believe I'd just asked him out. Even though it was masked as something else, in my mind, it was a date.

"I actually have a meeting tomorrow afternoon with a horse buyer. How about the day after?"

"Yes," I blurted out, excited he'd agreed. Then I laughed. "Sorry. Guess I'm just a little excited about getting out of the house and exploring nature."

"Don't apologize," he said seriously, his gaze locked on me. "You've got a great laugh, Heather, and I admire your enthusiasm. It's refreshing."

His compliment made my face turn a hundred different shades of red. "Thank you."

He gave a single nod, then guided Nico forward again. I followed just behind, enjoying the view of him, letting my mind wander with the possibilities of what our day date would hold. Obviously I'd been wrong about his interest in me.

# Chapter Six

I spent most of the day making phone calls, getting quotes on supplies for the repairs, trying to find a cheaper but same quality distributor of animal food and hay. Grandmother had fostered good relationships with the people she did business with, but I simply couldn't afford to use them. If I ever found new ones, I would hope the people I'm cutting ties with would understand.

When I wasn't on the phone, I was answering the ranch hands' questions and staring out the window, hoping Hudson's meeting would end early and he'd surprise me with a visit. But so far, nothing. Each hour that passed, my hope dwindled a little more. I didn't know why, though. We'd stayed up late last night chatting on the phone, getting to know each other. Thanks to that call, I knew he'd never been married, hadn't had a serious girlfriend in almost four years, had three younger sisters, and his parents were still happily married. I also knew he hated his brothers in law because, he thought they were lazy bums who were mooching off his sisters.

I'd been nervous to tell him about my divorce, but he'd taken the news well, hadn't judged. Not that I really thought he would. I mean, I wasn't the one who'd cheated, but still, I often wondered if I had been a better wife if Phillip still would've strayed. I shook my head. No. I would not take the blame for his actions.

I moved away from the window and filled the sink with warm, soapy water to wash the dinner dishes when there was a knock on the door. I dried my hands and went to answer it, but there was no one there. That was odd. There was an unmarked white envelope on the porch though. I picked it up, flipped it around. No name. No address. "Hmm." I glanced around, hoping to see someone, but everything appeared quiet.

Closing the door, I locked it and then opened the envelope. There was a single sheet of folded paper inside. I read it aloud. "Miss Heather, we hope you've changed your mind about selling us your ranch, but if not, allow us to persuade you. One million dollars. Cash. You have twenty four hours to decide. Signed, the Jennings."

Anger sparked inside of me, and I crumpled the paper, shoving it into the trash can. What was wrong with those men? Didn't they understand that no meant no? I rubbed my hands up and down my bare arms to stave off the shiver I felt coming on. They'd shown up here, uninvited, vaguely threatened me, and now they were leaving ominous notes on my porch. I feared to think what other lengths they'd go to. Maybe I should tell someone. But who? My dad? I feared what he might do. I could tell Hudson. No, I didn't want to involve him in this mess. It wasn't his problem, and he was already doing so much to help me. I didn't want him to think I was too needy. I suppose I could call the police, but I'm not sure what they could do knowing I hadn't been harmed.

Sighing, I pushed the thoughts from my mind and returned to the dishes. But my thoughts wouldn't settle. What if the Jennings became violent? What if they attacked Jamie or me? My hands started to shake, and I dropped a plate to the floor, shattering it.

"Damn it." I jumped back, out of the way.

"If you hate the dishes that much, buy new ones. You don't have to destroy them," Jamie said as he came in from the side door.

"Lock that door behind you," I said, fear still niggling at my mind. "And I'm not destroying them. I dropped it." I gathered the broom and dustpan and cleaned up the mess.

"So, Mom." Jamie leaned up against the counter, hands shoved deep into his pockets. "Dean is having some guys over this weekend, and he invited me."

I raised a brow, a small smile tugging at my lips. "And you want to go?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I mean, I know some of the guys, and they're cool."

"Okay." I dumped the broken glass into the trash. "Who is going to be there? What will you be doing?"

Jamie groaned and rolled his eyes. "I don't know. Darren. Brett. Chad, I think. And we'll just be hanging out."

I studied him for a moment, wondering if he was telling me the truth. I hated being skeptical of my own son, but he'd lost my trust more than once, so now I had to be that mom, the one who asked too many questions, was too involved.

"And you swear to me you're going to be staying at Dean's house?"

"God." He shoved off the counter. "Yes, Mom. I promise we'll stay at Dean's house. It's not like we can go anywhere."

I bit the inside of my cheek to hide my victorious smile. Dean and his mother lived on a rundown farm on the other side of town. It was a good two miles to the nearest neighbor and six miles to town. None of the boys were old enough to drive, and I knew how much Jamie hated to walk anywhere. My concerns were assuaged.

"Yeah, I don't care if you go. You'll ride the bus over and stay the night?"

"It's not a sleepover," he grumbled.

"Oh. So you won't be staying the night? Then how are you getting home?"

He scrunched up his face in annoyance and shook his head. "I'm staying the night, but it's not a sleepover. Guys don't have sleepovers. That's a girl thing."

"Ah," I said, nodding in understanding. "Gotcha."

"But yeah, I'll ride the bus. Can you come get me on Saturday?"

I smiled. "Just tell me what time."

"Cool. I'll call and let you know." He grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl. "Thanks, Mom." He kissed my cheek and disappeared upstairs.

It made me feel good to know he was making friends and settling in around here. Maybe he'd stop hating me so much now if he developed some sort of social life. I hummed his favorite childhood lullaby as I finished up the evening household chores. Checking to make sure all the doors and windows were locked, I headed upstairs, intent on climbing into bed and reading for a while before falling asleep. It'd been far too long since I'd been able to really relax and enjoy a book. For the first time since my divorce and the shock of my grandmother's death, I felt at peace, like things truly would work out.

***

I stretched out on the blanket and let the sun warm my face. Today was the day I'd been waiting for – my picnic date with Hudson. We'd rode to a secluded corner of my property and set out a blanket. I'd packed enough food for a small army, but I'd been so afraid I wouldn't pack enough or that I'd pack something he hated, so I went with the, 'more is better' philosophy.

"I can see the top of the tree from the hayloft in an old barn I no longer use," Hudson said, breaking their spell of silence.

"Uh-oh." She laughed. "Do I need to worry about you spying on me?"

He grinned, his dimples tempting me with forbidden thoughts. "No, I won't spy on you. If I want you, I'll just come over and get you." He winked.

My heart raced, and I leaned closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder. "Well, for what it's worth, I won't put up a fight."

He chuckled. "Don't make it too easy on me." Hudson put his finger under my chin and tilted my head back so I was looking at him. Then he closed the distance, pressing his lips to mine. Hesitant at first, then when I welcomed him, he was more insistent.

Parting my lips with his tongue, he kissed me slowly, deeply. My eyes fluttered closed, and I surrendered to him, savoring every movement of his lips, every flick of his tongue over mine. He gently guided me down to my back, bringing his upper body down over mine. I wrapped my arms around him, holding him to me, afraid he'd suddenly decide to get up and leave.

"Heather," he sighed, resting his forehead to mine, "you're..." Instead of finishing his thought, he kissed me again. And that was totally okay with me. I could spend all afternoon kissing him. He was so self-assured yet gentle, unlike the way Phillip used to kiss me – on the rare occasions he did. Phillip had always been so rough, wanting to mimic the things he watched in his pornographic movies whereas I wanted someone to love me, to make me feel cherished.

Hudson broke the kiss, his breaths ragged and strained. So were mine. He rubbed his finger over my lips, smiling. "I hope you don't mind that I just did that." He laughed. "Suppose I should've asked first, huh?"

Asked to kiss me? Did men do that anymore? The concept seemed so foreign. "I liked it," I whispered.

"So did I." He rolled onto his back, tucked his hands behind his head and stared up at the sky. "It's so peaceful out here, isn't it?"

"Yes." I took a deep breath to calm my racing heart. "It's so different from the city. I've wondered a lot lately why I ever left here."

He shrugged. "We all need to find our way, and sometimes to do that, you have to explore. Nothing wrong with that."

I let his words roll around in my mind, realizing how poetic and true they were. "Have you ever explored? Or have you lived here all your life?"

"I'm a homebody at heart." He turned his head to look at me. "I've wondered what it'd be like to go somewhere else, start over, but this is home. I really don't think I'd be happy anywhere else."

"Makes sense." I'd always thought the city was home, too, but now I realized it wasn't. It was just temporary, a stop along my life's path.

"Do you miss it?" he asked.

"Miss what?"

"The city?"

"A little," I admitted. "Sometimes I miss the hustle and bustle. I miss my friends and my normal, nine to five job." I chuckled. "But I don't miss all the noises in the middle of the night or constantly worrying about Jamie being out and getting into trouble."

"Must be a culture shock for him to go from city living to living in the middle of nowhere, with a bunch of horses and cows."

"I'm sure it is, but I think he's starting to adjust," I said, the memory of our conversation last night popping into my mind. "In fact, he's going to be with some friends Friday night if you want to do something..." I trailed off, feeling foolish for assuming he'd be excited to spend his Friday night with me.

"Why don't you come over to my place? I can show you around my homestead, cook you dinner," he offered.

"I'd love that," I said a little too eagerly.

"Good."

We fell into a comfortable silence, both of us lost in our own thoughts. I wondered what he was thinking, and it was on the tip of my tongue to ask when he spoke.

"Have you ever considered selling?"

She paused, her face burning and her heart hammering so hard in her chest. "Selling the ranch?"

"Yeah." He rolled onto his side and propped his head in his hand. His free hand settled on her stomach. "Not to be rude, but you don't know much about running a ranch, so I guess I'm just curious as to why you're keeping it."

I sat up, causing his hand to fall from my stomach. What was with everyone around here wanting me to sell the ranch? Was there something here I didn't know? His question unnerved me, shocked me. "Does it matter?" I finally asked my tone bitter even though I didn't intend it to be.

"No, of course not." He sat up and slid his hand along the side of my neck, bringing my lips to meet his, and then he kissed me. "Can I tell you something without you thinking I'm crazy?"

I laughed. "I guess that depends on what you want to tell me."

He gave me his dimple laden smile, but his eyes remained serious. "We haven't known each other long, but I've really enjoyed the time we have spent together."

"So have I." I smiled.

"I think I'm falling in love with you, Heather."

My jaw dropped and my eyes widened. I hadn't expected him to say that, but I couldn't deny I was starting to feel the same way. I leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss to his lips. "I don't think you're crazy."

"You don't?" he asked, surprised.

I shook my head. "No, because I feel the same way about you, and I know I'm not crazy."

His laughter wrapped around me, made me feel safe, loved. I sighed and leaned into him as he hugged me. I never once thought I'd find another man to love after Phillip, but I had, and it was just the start of a whole new life for me and Jamie, a life I was thrilled about.

# Chapter Seven

Hudson and I had spent every day together, growing closer and closer. Every evening when he left, he told me he loved me, kissed me deeply. We had yet to have sex, but we were certainly headed in that direction. Maybe tonight would be the night. Jamie was sleeping over at Dean's, and I was going to Hudson's house for dinner.

It was eerily quiet as I put the finishing touches on my make-up and double checked my reflection in the mirror. Butterflies filled my stomach, made me nervous. Tonight was the first night Hudson and I would truly be alone. Normally, when he was here, Jamie was upstairs. Nodding at my reflection, I flipped off the bathroom light and went downstairs. When I got to the kitchen, Hudson was standing outside the door, peeking in through the window.

I laughed and opened the door. "Hudson, what're you doing here? I thought we were going to your place tonight."

"We are." He grinned and looked me up and down. "You look fantastic, Heather."

I glanced down at myself. "Thanks."

Hudson gave my cheek a kiss. "And yes, we are going to my place, but this is a date, and a gentleman always comes to the door and picks up his woman." His eyes sparked with mischief and... Desire? My heart tripped a few beats before pounding loudly in my ears.

"Well, whoever said chivalry was dead was wrong." I laughed nervously.

"Ready?" Hudson held out his arm, and I looped my arm around his.

"Yup."

We stepped outside and I froze. I couldn't believe my eyes. He'd brought his horse, but more than that, he'd hitched a cozy little buggy to him. It was big enough to fit just the two of us. "Wow, Hudson. You didn't have to do all of this."

"Nonsense." He helped me into the carriage, and then climbed in beside me, taking the reins into his hands. "Hope you don't mind going the long way."

"No, of course not." I snuggled up next to him, resting my head on his upper arm as he led us away from the ranch. He took a scenic route around my property, down what appeared to be an abandoned dirty road, and through the back end of his land. The sun was just beginning to set, and the air was still warm. It was a perfect ride. Silent, but romantic. The scenery was gorgeous. More and more I was loving it around here, missing the city less and less.

"Here we are," he announced. One of his ranch hands awaited our arrival, took the reins and disappeared. Hudson took my hand and brought me inside.

His house was a two story log cabin. A floor to length picture window took up one entire wall in the living room, while a handmade, stone fireplace took up another wall. A small fire crackled in it, giving the large room a warm, cozy feel.

"Dinner will be about an hour. Care for some wine?"

"I'd love some," I said as I continued to look around. His place was amazing. For a moment, I could picture myself living here, making a home and life with him. The thought of that had my breath catching in my throat, and I had to remind myself, again, to slow down. Just enjoy what we have right now. Don't rush for something that may or may not happen. I'd made that mistake with Phillip, rushed the relationship, got married before either of us were ready. I wouldn't make the same mistake again.

Hudson came over to stand beside me, handing me a glass of white wine. I took a drink, savoring the sweet burn. I generally preferred a nice red, but this was good, too. "That's me and my sisters," he said, nodding to a framed picture on the mantle. "My mother thought it would be cool to have a group photo of them in their wedding dresses and me in a tuxedo. I think she wanted to wait until I was married, too, but she got tired of waiting." He laughed.

I smiled and studied the picture. He and his sisters looked so much alike – all of them with the same strong jaw and dimples. "You all look so lovely."

He shrugged. "Yeah, I much prefer my jeans and cowboy boots."

I playfully nudged him with my shoulder, taking another sip of my wine. "So, what's for dinner?"

"It's a surprise." He took my glass from me and set it on the mantle. Then he pulled me into his arms and kissed me.

Slipping my arms around his neck, I leaned into him, welcoming him and his kiss like a woman starved for attention, which is exactly how I felt. I craved him, craved the way he touched me and kissed me and looked at me. "Hudson," I whispered, teasing his lips with my tongue.

"Hmm?" He groaned.

"I want to make love." As the words left my mouth, my face burned and my heart raced. I'd always been the one to initiate sex in my marriage – I had to if I wanted the intimacy. I later learned it was because he'd been sleeping with other women, but the familiar feelings of rejection surfaced.

Hudson jerked back as if he'd been hit. "Now?"

I nodded and bit on my bottom lip, afraid if I spoke again, I'd be tempted to take it back and apologize profusely. Slowly, a smile spread across his face, showcasing his dimples, and lighting his eyes.

"Don't move." He left the room and returned a moment later with a thick quilt. He spread it on the floor in front of the fireplace and motioned for me to join him. I slipped off my shoes and settled on the floor beside him. "Is this okay?" he asked.

"It's perfect." My heart still raced, and my breath was almost non-existent.

"Good. That's how I want this to be. Perfect," he whispered a second before claiming my mouth in another soft kiss. But unlike all the others, this didn't stay soft, nor did he pull away. Instead, he guided me onto my back, and slipped his hand up the hem of my shirt. His hand was warm and rough in all the right places, a result of years of hard work. I arched into him, wanting him to keep going. His hand travelled up, his palm cupped my breast. I moaned.

"So soft," he muttered, moving away from my lips and kissing along my jaw, down my neck. I tilted my head to give him greater access, running my fingers through his hair. He nipped at my earlobe, and I groaned. My ears were my weakness, and if he kept it up, he'd learn that very quickly.

Hudson moved away from me and grabbed the hem of my shirt, lifting it off over my head. As soon as he had it off, I reached behind my back and removed my bra. My nipples hardened under his gaze. He let out a shaky breath, his gaze caressing me the way his hand had just did a few moments ago.

"You're beautiful, Heather."

I smiled and reached for him, pulling him back down on top of me. Chuckling, he gathered my skirt and bunched it around my waist before settling between my parted legs. I could feel his erection straining behind his jeans, my thin, cotton panties doing nothing to mask the sensation of him there. I braced my heels against the floor and lifted my hips, grinding against him. He let out a throaty moan and pushed forward, pinning me between him and the floor. His body was so hard and warm on mine.

Grasping at his shirt, I yanked on it until it was off. The brief glance I got of his chest before he was on top of me again was impressive. Tanned flesh, a dusting of dark hair, rippled muscles, flat, defined abs. I had the sudden urge to lick ever glorious inch of him. Hudson closed his mouth around my nipple, suckling it before moving to the next. The sensations wracked my body, made me tremble in the best possible way.

He kissed down my stomach and back up again, stopping to tease my breasts with his tongue, taking his time, teasing me in a torturously fantastic way. "Kiss me," I gasped, unable to take another moment of his teasing.

His lips came down hard on mine in a bruising tangle of tongue and teeth and panting breaths. Then I felt his fingers brush over my sex and then slip under the elastic band. I gasped and lifted my pelvis, making his thumb land on my clit, exactly where I wanted it to be. He rubbed me gently, his pace steady and firm.

"Hudson," I whimpered, my orgasm steadily building inside of me. I couldn't believe I was so close already. He'd barely touched me, but then again, it had been a really long time.

"Trust me," he said at my ear, his voice raspy and full of need. He eased a single finger inside of me, and I clutched at his arms, my fingernails digging into his biceps. "I've got you, baby. It's okay."

I closed my eyes and did as he said – I let go. I let him touch me, give me pleasure, bring me to much needed, glorious release. My body writhed against his hand, wanting him to go deeper while at the same time wanting him to keep doing exactly as he was. Keeping his finger inside of me, he pressed his thumb to my clit, rubbing it while simultaneously stroking my inner walls. My orgasm was intense, physically draining me yet also making me want more.

Hudson smiled, his eyes dark with desire. "You okay?"

"Mmm hmm," I hummed, my eyes still closed, a satisfied smile on my face. Even though I wasn't looking at him, I could feel him. His body heat rolled over me, his breath tickled my face. When I felt him move away, I cracked open my eyes to see him unzipping his jeans, tugging them down over his hips. I watched with fascination as he removed his boxers, leaving his manhood bare and exposed to my gaze.

He was big, much bigger than Phillip, and a wave of fear washed through me. What if it hurt? What if I wasn't good enough? What if he found me boring and decided he no longer wanted to be with me... Like Phillip had done?

"I've wanted you since the moment I met you," he said, retrieving a condom from his wallet and rolling it down his length.

"You have?" I asked before I could stop myself.

He smiled and looked down at his erection. "Look at me, Heather. Look how hard I am. Does it look like I'm lying?"

"No," I breathed out, unable to take my gaze off him. Everything about him was so perfect, so manly. I wanted to devour him.

"Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yes."

He sighed with relief and removed my panties then my skirt. Lying naked in front of him like this made me feel vulnerable, exposed, but also cherished. He looked at me with so much love and adoration, emotions I wasn't used to seeing in a man's eyes. Kissing me, he settled between my legs again, this time his hardness pressing at my entrance. I sucked in a breath when he entered me, expelling it fast when he was all the way in.

Hudson moaned, resting his arms on either side of my head. "You feel so good." He nipped at my bottom lip as he began to move. Slow and steady, his body perfectly aligned with mine like we were made specifically for each other.

"Yes." I met his thrusts with my own, both of us finding a comfortable rhythm. Our moans and ragged pants filled the room while we made love, our hands and lips exploring one another.

"I'm not going to last," he said through clenched teeth, "it's too good."

I wrapped my legs around him, tucking my feet under his butt and rode his motions, both of us edging closer and closer to the brink of ecstasy. My vision blurred, and the room started to spin. "Hudson." I chanted his name as if it would somehow anchor me, but it didn't. I continued to feel like I was floating outside of my body, unable to do anything but feel. And holy God, did it feel good. So good.

"Come with me, Heather, please." His voice was strained, and he swelled inside of me, making me cry out with pleasure.

Seconds later, I came for the second time, Hudson doing the same. He collapsed onto me, his face buried in my neck. I stroked his hair and sighed. "That was incredible," I said.

He laughed. "Yeah, it was." Putting his weight into his arms, he peered down at me. "I love you."

"I love you, too." So much love filled my heart, I was afraid I must burst.

"Dinner's probably ruined."

I laughed. "That's okay. This is so much better than pizza."

He smiled. "Mmm, I like the way you think."

If I had my way, I'd stay right here all night, just like this. And based on the way he made no effort to move, I'd guess he had no intention of doing anything else tonight either.

# Chapter Eight

Another two months had passed. Things on the ranch were becoming smoother, the repairs were made, and I wasn't pouring endless amounts of money into it. Although, it wasn't making a profit yet, either, and finances were tight. My savings were completely wiped out, and if something didn't give soon, I'd have no choice but to get a job, which would be a nightmare while still trying to run the ranch.

On the bright side, Hudson and I continued to see each other every night. He made me so happy; I couldn't imagine my life without him now. I only wished Jamie would be nicer to Hudson, but Jamie made his feelings clear – He hated it here. Hated my relationship with Hudson, hated that his father and I were divorced. He had high hopes of moving back to the city and reconciling with his father. It had broken my heart to have to tell him – again – that his father and I were never getting back together. The same devastated, 'my life is over' look had clouded his eyes right before he ran up to his room and slammed the door. He didn't speak to me the rest of that night and most of the next. I sighed. My son hated everything lately, and I was at the top of that list.

I hoped, with time, he'd come around to the idea of me and Hudson, because I had no intentions of ending things with him. I loved him, and he loved me. We made it each other better, and Lord knows I wouldn't have survived around her without him. He'd been a true Godsend, a miracle.

I brushed the stray strands of hair from my face and blew out a breath. Now that the ranch was running better, I finally had time to devote to the cleaning and repairs inside the house, starting with Grandma's office, which had turned into a junk room. There were so many boxes stuffed full of papers and files. I don't know how she lived like this. The clutter drove me nuts.

Closing yet another box of items to throw away, I lifted it and set it outside the door for pick-up. Richard said when I was finished he'd gather the boxes and dispose of them. As I turned to go back in the office, a crumpled envelope caught my eye. I bent to pick it up. There was a bright green sheet of paper inside, and it was from the local gas company. "That's weird", I thought. I pulled the paper out and read. My heart raced and my eyes widened. My hands even began to shake a little.

"We have reason to believe there is a large amount of oil beneath your property, and we're interested in the prospect of exploring this. Please contact us at your earliest convenience to discuss this matter," I read.

Holy crap! I put my hand over my chest and fought to catch my breath. My knees were shaky, and I was having trouble wrapping my mind around this letter. There was oil under the property? If that were true... "Wow." I shook my head. There's a lot of money in oil. If I could strike a deal with the gas company, it would solve all my problems.

Clearly Grandma had opened the letter, but had she ever called about it? Did she think about it? I know she never did it, but why? Well, there was only one way to find out. I grabbed my cell phone and called the number on the letter.

***

I was waiting in the driveway when the bus pulled up and Jamie got off. I was so damn excited, I couldn't stand still. "Mom?" he asked, giving me a confused and concerned look. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" I threw my arms around him and hugged him. He pushed me away in that way teens do when their moms hug them or show them any affection in public. I laughed. "In fact, everything is fantastic." I looped my arm through his and turned him toward the house. "I have a lot to tell you."

He stopped and turned to face me. "Are we moving back to the city?" Excitement flashed in his eyes, and my mood turned sour.

I frowned. "No, we're not going back to the city. I told you already, I've got too much invested in this ranch to just walk away."

"Not if you sell it," he grumbled.

Refusing to let him get me down, I straightened my back and took his arm again. "There's oil on the property, Jamie."

"Oil?" he asked with disbelief and contempt. "So what? Who cares?"

"Jamie, don't you realize what this means?" I rolled my eyes. "Oil means money, and money means..."

"We get to go back to the city?" he asked hopefully.

I sighed with frustration. "No," I snapped. "We're not going back to the city, now stop asking me that." When he pulled away from me, a pang of guilt stabbed at me. I truly did feel bad about snapping at him, but I was so tired of him asking me the same question over and over again. His life here would be so much easier if he just accepted this was home now.

"Fine. So tell me what's so great about living on top of oil." He stormed toward the house and I rushed to catch up.

"I've agreed to lease a small parcel of this land to the gas company so they can drill for oil. They're paying a large sum of money plus royalties on whatever they collect and sell. This means no more struggle." I clutched his hands and searched his face, hoping he showed an ounce of the enthusiasm I felt. "I can do what needs to be done around here; I can afford to send you to whatever college you want to go to... See, Jamie? This is good for us. It's an answer to my prayers."

"Yeah, what about my prayers, mom? Huh? What about what I want?" he shouted at me then ran inside, slamming the door behind him.

I covered my face with my hands and fought back tears, wondering if he would ever forgive me. He blamed me for everything – the divorce, his father's absence, moving here. Nothing I did would make it better, except agreeing to move back to the city, but that just wasn't a possibility. I had a life here, and he did too. Granted, it wasn't the same as the city, but he still had friends here. He only had to give it a chance.

I entered the house and found Jaime standing in the kitchen. His arms were crossed over his chest, but he didn't look as angry as he had a moment ago. "The oil...it's a good thing, and I'm happy you found it."

"But?"

"Is it safe?"

I nodded and then shrugged. "For the most part. There are some risks, but they're minimal. It'll be fine." I studied him, realizing just how worried he was about this. Maybe that's all this was – worry. Maybe he didn't hate the idea or being here. "A representative from the gas company is coming out here tomorrow to talk to me, to explain the process and the risks. You're welcome to stay home from school so you can be here if you want."

"Really?"

"Yeah." I smiled, hoping he'd take me up on the offer. It would do both of us good to have a mother son day. If he stayed home, I could cook him his favorite breakfast like I used to, take him to lunch, maybe let him buy a new video game before we had to meet with the gentleman about the oil. "We can make a day of it if you want."

"Okay, I'll let you know." He gave me a half smile then went up to his room.

Well, it wasn't exactly the reaction I'd hoped for, but it was better than yelling at me and demanding to go back to the city. The more I thought about it, the more I realized it was probably just his nerves making him act the way he was. Once I got the information, I could share it with him, and he'd see there was nothing to worry about.

I set about making dinner, humming softly to myself, feeling pretty good about the future when I heard the side door open. "Richard? Is that you?"

"No, it's me," Hudson said, entering the kitchen. He walked up behind me, slid his arms around my stomach and kissed my cheek. "But if you'd prefer to have your ranch hand in here with you, I'm sure I can go find him."

Turning in his arms, I gave him a proper kiss. "Hmm, no, you'll do."

He laughed, the sound filling me with so much joy. "I'll do?"

Giggling, I nodded, kissing him again. "Yeah, you'll definitely do."

"Good, because I'm not going anywhere." He pulled me closer, the evidence of his arousal pressing against me. If only we were alone right now... "So," he stepped back, clearing his throat, "how was your day?"

"Oh my god! You'll never believe what happened!" I led him to the table and made him sit, then I divulged the details of my day – finding the letter, calling the gas company, their offer. He sat silently until long after I finished. When the moments ticked by and he still didn't answer, I said, "Aren't you going to say anything?"

He sighed. "I'm glad you're excited, but do you really think it's a good idea?"

I stared at him, stunned and hurt that he didn't share in my excitement. "Of course it's a good idea. Why wouldn't it be?"

Hudson shrugged and avoided my gaze. "Just seems dangerous is all."

I stood. "Well, it's not." What was with everyone being so negative about this? Couldn't anyone see how great this was? Sure, there were risks, but there were risks with everything in life. I went to the counter and finished putting seasoning on the steaks. Behind me, Hudson remained at the table, not saying anything, the silence between us awkward and tense.

"Do you even know what this entails? It's not just you this affects you know."

Spinning around, I glared at him. "And what does that mean?"

"Our properties touch, Heather. And while the gas company will stay on your property the noise and equipment and land disruption will affect my animals, the operations of my ranch." He stood and came over to me. "And the Jennings... They're on the other side of you. How do you think they'll react to this?"

My jaw dropped as realization sunk in. The Jennings, now it all made sense. Their desperation to buy the ranch, their scare tactics and threats. They must have known about the oil, that was why they wanted the land. They didn't want it for the property or the house or the ranch. They wanted what was beneath it. Oh, those sneaky rotten... now, more than ever, I was going to do this. Nothing or no one was going to stand in my way.

# Chapter Nine

Once I signed the contract with the gas company, they wasted no time getting on the property and drilling. It was noisy, but so far there hadn't been any issues. Jamie was more excited about it, too, especially since we know had money to do things. I splurged and spoiled him when we got the first check. All talk of returning to the city seemed to have died on his tongue. Things were peaceful for once. Hudson still wasn't thrilled with my decision, but he didn't have to be. It was my choice to make, and he supported it, even if a little begrudgingly.

"Whoa, easy Biscuit." I pulled on her reins, guiding her to slow down a little. I think she was just as excited to be ridden as I was to ride her. The last time had been weeks ago when Hudson and I inspected the ranch for needed repairs. I promised myself I was going to ride more regularly, and that started today.

We rounded the corner edge of the property when I noticed the Jennings brothers lurking around. I slowed Biscuit to a stop. "Can I help you gentlemen?" I kept my voice loud and firm. Inside, I was terrified. They were four big men. If they decided to attack me, there was no way I'd be able to defend myself.

"You shoulda sold to us," Buck said, venom lacing his words. "That oil and the money you took for it belongs to us."

I snorted. "Nothing on this ranch has ever belonged to you, and it never will. It would serve you well to remember that."

Buck sneered a mix of a smile and a scowl. I had to stop from physically cringing at how evil he looked. "It doesn't belong to you, either! Noreen was days away from selling to us, and then you swooped in and took it. A true woman would honor her grandmother's wishes."

My eyes widened, and my heart raced. Anger boiled in my gut. "How dare you! I know damn well she never had any intention of selling to the likes of you four."

Buck stepped closer and for a moment I was worried he'd climb the fence and come after me. Instinctively, I backed Biscuit up, prepared to make a fast retreat if necessary. "You have no idea what you're talking about, but I promise, you'll found out soon enough." His brothers snickered, and I glared at them.

"Are you threatening me?"

He flung his head back and let out a loud cackle. "Nope. Don't need to threaten you."

I cleared my throat and straightened my back, making myself sit a little taller. "Then I suggest you leave. You're all close to trespassing, and one thing my grandmother taught me was how to shoot a rifle." It was a total bluff, but they didn't know that. I hoped. And even if it were true, there was no way I could ever actually aim a gun at anyone let alone pull the trigger.

"Little miss thing is all tough now. Guess fucking your neighbor gives you a renewed confidence, huh?" Buck spit on the ground, grinning. "Maybe I should give you a go, see what it does for me."

"Uh," I huffed, making a disgusted face. "You're so vile." I shuddered at the thought of that man getting anywhere near me.

"If you only knew..." one of his brothers muttered.

"Yeah," Buck said, spitting again, "you might wanna rethink who you're calling vile. Your precious Hudson isn't as wonderful as you think."

My heart stopped, and my ears burned hot. "What does that mean?" I had no idea why I asked, or why I was still here listening to them. They weren't worth my time, yet that nagging voice in the back of my mind wouldn't let me leave.

Buck shrugged lazily. "Just hope you're enjoying Hudson because we sent him to you, Heather. He's one of us, and his sole goal has been to convince you to sell." He laughed, and his brother's joined him. What do you have to say to that, Miss haughty-taughty, Buck said with a smirk? I was too shocked to respond. My response must have been what they were looking for because, they all turned and walked away, laughing and giving each other high fives.

Hudson was only with me because he wanted to convince me to sell? No. That wasn't true. Buck was lying. They were bitter because they didn't get the ranch and the oil and the money, and now they were trying to get under my skin, make me question everything, try to drive me away.

I turned Biscuit back toward the house, my mind racing with the possibility that Buck might be right about Hudson. I didn't want to believe Hudson would do that. He wasn't that kind of man. He was sweet and caring and loving. The way he looked at me and touched me – a man with an ulterior motive couldn't do that. No. No man could fake the emotion Hudson showed her. It just wasn't possible.

But... Things, memories, slowly drifted into my mind. Like, how he asked me out of the blue about selling the ranch. His severe lack of enthusiasm when I told him about the oil. His stern warning to stay away from the Jennings. Originally, I'd thought he told me that to keep me safe, but now I wondered if he told me because he was afraid I'd find out the truth about him. The closer I got to the house, the angrier I became.

What was I supposed to do now? Should I just ignore what Buck said, chalk it up to the ramblings and accusations of a bitter man? Or should I confront Hudson? Part of me believed if I asked Hudson about this, he'd laugh it off and tell me Buck was crazy. But what if he didn't?

When I first suspected Phillip of cheating, I ignored it. I discounted my friend when she'd told me she saw Phillip and another woman together. I'd trusted my husband, believed he wouldn't do that to me. I ignored my instincts, and when I finally did open my eyes and see the truth, it was too late. I vowed to never blindly trust a man so much. I knew what I had to do. I had to confront Hudson and make him answer for Buck's accusations.

***

"Hey, baby." Hudson came up behind me and kissed my neck. "I've missed you today."

I stood still, unresponsive to his affection. I'd spent all day stewing over the things Buck had said to me. One minute I was angry at Buck for saying such awful things about Hudson while another minute I was livid with Hudson for lying to me, using me, making me fall in love with him and then breaking my heart. I was emotionally exhausted and didn't know if I was strong enough to face him, to say all the things I knew I had to say.

"What's wrong?" He turned me to face him, concern etched on his handsome face.

I took a shaky breath and moved away from him. There was no way I could have a serious talk with him when he was touching me, tempting me to forget everything and fall into his arms. "I had a run in with Buck Jennings today."

Hudson raised a brow and crossed his arms over his chest. His face went blank, his eyes dull. "Did he hurt you?"

"Not physically."

"What the hell does that mean?"

I sighed and went into the living room. He followed. "Heather, talk to me. What did Buck do to you?"

"He didn't do anything to me. But he had a lot to say." I watched him closely, looking for any signs of deception or guilt in his eyes. I didn't see anything right off, but that didn't mean he was lying. He could just be a really skilled liar.

"And what exactly did he have to say that's making you act so cold toward me?"

I let out a harsh laugh. Oh, he had a lot of nerve. "He told me you've been working with them, that the only reason you're with me is because you want to convince me to sell the ranch to them, that you knew about the oil here."

Shock registered on his face, and then he took a small step back, away from me. To most, it wouldn't mean much of anything, but to me, it said volumes. I crossed my arms over my chest. "Is it true?" I asked. "Is that the only reason you got involved with me?"

"What? No." He shook his head adamantly. "I love you, Heather. You have to know that."

I sighed. Deep down, I did know that. I didn't doubt his love for me, but I did doubt the sincerity of it. "Is it true, Hudson? Has this whole thing between us been nothing but a ruse, a way for you and your cohorts to get your hands on my grandmother's ranch, the oil? The money?" I bit out. To think he'd been sleeping with me in the hopes of getting money made me sick to my stomach made me feel like a glorified whore.

Hudson dragged a hand through his hair and stepped toward me. I stepped back, refusing to let him get too close. "Damn it." He rubbed at the back of his neck and shook his head. "It's not what you think."

Those words destroyed me, and I whimpered, cupping my hand over my mouth. "You used me."

"No." He took my hands into his and continued to shake his head. "When Buck first came here to talk to you, when he asked you to sell and you refused, he came to me. He told me he knew there was oil on this land, and if I helped convince you to sell, he'd split the profits with me. So, yes, the very first time I came here, I had done so with the intent of getting you to sell."

I jerked my hands from his, disgusted and heartbroken. Tears burned my eyes, and my throat felt raw, unable to form any words. And even if I could physically speak, I doubt my mind would come up with something intelligible.

"But then I saw you, and things changed. I got to know you, know Jamie... And I couldn't go through with it. I told Buck I was out, that if he wanted this land, he'd have to convince you himself." Hudson licked his lips and swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing hard in his throat. "I fell in love with you, Heather, and I don't ever want to do anything to hurt you. I should've told you, and I'm sorry I didn't."

I closed my eyes, forced every ounce of courage I had to the surface. I loved Hudson with all my heart, more than I ever loved my husband, but what Hudson had done hurt worse than everything Phillip ever did. How could I have been so stupid? I opened my eyes and stared at him through my tears. I prayed this was all a nightmare, that I'd wake up and be in bed next to him, wrapped safely in his arms.

"Heather... Please, say something. Tell me you understand, that you forgive me." There was so much pain and longing in his voice, I almost caved and did what he asked.

"I can't," I whispered.

"Don't do this," he said.

"Don't do what? Call you on your bullshit?" I shouted. He wasn't going to blame me, make me feel bad for his actions. "Get out."

He raised his eyebrows, his eyes wide in shock. "What?"

"Get out," I said more firmly, planting my feet on the floor and pointing toward the front door. "I have no room in my life for liars and users."

"I'm not a liar or a user," he ground out through gritted teeth. His hands were clenched into fists by his sides. "You know me, Heather. I've shared parts of myself with you that I've never shared with anyone else. Do you think I'd do that if all I wanted was this damn ranch?"

I shrugged, refusing to meet his gaze any longer. I really just wanted him to go so I could go upstairs and cry in peace. I wanted to mourn this relationship, say goodbye to the man I'd thought Hudson was so I could pick up the pieces and move on. Just like I'd done after my divorce, I'd grieve then move on. Like my grandmother, I was a survivor.

"I don't give a shit about this ranch or the oil or the money," he said, taking my face into his hands and making me look into his eyes. "I. Love. You, Heather. I love Jamie, and all I want is to be with you, to have a future."

I pulled away from him, sniffling. His mention of Jamie steeled my resolve. No matter how I felt about Hudson, I had to think of Jamie, protect him, and not let anyone into his life who could hurt him.

"Please forgive me, Heather. Please," he begged.

"I'm sorry, Hudson. I can't get past the fact that you lied to me, used me. Even though you backed out, you still lied to me. Now please, get out."

He stared at me for several minutes, and I expected him to say something more, to try to change my mind, but with a sad nod, he left the house. I blew out a pent up breath, and then the tears started. They streamed down my face faster than I could wipe them away. I slouched down to the floor, tucked my knees to my chest, and cried.

I thought being betrayed by Phillip was bad, but kicking Hudson out of my life hurt worse. There was a physical ache in my chest, a growing hole I didn't know if I'd ever be able to fill. Why did every man I got involved with have to be a jerk? Well, this would teach me to date again. I was done with dating, with love, with men. I was fine being single.

Taking a deep breath, I wiped my face and stood. It would take a while for me to get over Hudson, but I refused to let him keep me down for too long. "Jamie!" I shouted up the stairs. "Pack a bag. We're leaving."

Jamie came down the stairs, took one look at me and furrowed his brows. "Where are we going?"

"To the city." I turned on my heel and walked away, thankful he didn't ask me what was wrong, and not wanting to have an argument with him. I knew the moment I told him where we were going he was going to assume it was a permanent trip. When we were on the road, I'd tell him the truth, but until then, I just needed to get out of this house and away from everything for a while.

# Chapter Ten

I put the house key in Richard's palm and closed his fingers around it, holding his hand in mine. I smiled at him.

"Are you sure about this, Miss Heather?" he asked, placing his hand over mine.

"Yes." I nodded. "You've been so wonderful to Jamie and I since we arrived, and Noreen trusted you, so that alone is good enough for me." My grandmother was a smart woman, and she had impeccable instincts when it came to people. In fact, when I told her Phillip and I were engaged, she'd told me I was making a mistake that the marriage wouldn't last. At first I thought she was just being mean, saying hurtful things because she knew I would be moving to the city and she wanted me to stay here. If only I had actually listened to her, I would've saved myself so much heartache.

He pulled his hand from mine. "I'll do you proud."

"I know you will." I grabbed my purse and pulled the strap over my shoulder. "And if you need anything at all, just call me. I'll be available night or day."

"Yes, ma'am."

"We won't be gone for too long..." Although I had no idea how long that would actually be. A week, maybe two. It certainly wouldn't be much longer than that. The reservations I made were only for two weeks. I'm sure I could always extend them if needed, but I didn't want to mislead Jamie, make him think this move was permanent.

"I'm ready!" Jamie said, bounding down the stairs, suitcase in tow. "I just spoke to Devon. He's going to get my assignments for me."

"Great," I beamed. It warmed me to know he was taking the initiative with school. Not to mention, gathering assignments meant he accepted that we'd be coming back here. "All right, let's go." I placed a quick kiss to Richard's cheek, smiled, and then left.

I popped the trunk on the car and Jamie put our bags inside while I put my laptop bag in the back seat. Originally, I was going to book a flight, but decided it was best to just drive. It would give Jamie and I time to reconnect, for me to think about this while situation with Hudson – who had called daily for the past four days, apologizing, begging me for a second chance – and it would prevent me from having to explain to my parents what happened. My mother would accuse me of running again, and I didn't want to have to spend time justifying my decisions to her. It was none of her business. Plus, this little trip would give Jamie time to see his old friends, which I knew he wanted to do.

As we drove down the road, past Hudson's property, I saw him standing on his front porch. He straightened and stared at me, and I swore I saw a hint of expectation in his face, like he was hoping I'd pull into his driveway. But I didn't. I averted my gaze back to the road and ignored him. It wasn't easy though. It was tempting to turn around, go back, forgive him; pretend none of this ever happened.

The pain in my heart though, the betrayal, it ran too strong, cut too deep. I couldn't just forgive him. I couldn't let him get away with what he'd done to me, to Jamie. I could handle him hurting me. I could not handle him betraying Jamie in that way. "How about some music?" I said, deciding not to let Hudson or my thoughts of him get me down. I cranked up a country station, put on my sunglasses, and looked forward to our mini-vacation.

***

I'd been in the city for just over a week now. Jamie had spent every day with his friends, and I was back to worrying about him every second he wasn't with me. Now I knew why I would never move back here. All the noise never used to bother me, but now... I couldn't sleep a wink with all the chaos. Every small noise, every siren would wake me; make me fear that something had happened to Jamie. By the time we left, I was going to need another vacation just to catch up on my sleep.

"Hey, Mom. I'm going to Vick's. I'll be home before dark." Jamie kissed my cheek and left.

I sighed. So much for using this trip to reconnect. He spent less time with me now than he had back at the ranch. That might have bothered me quite a bit if it wasn't for the fact that I'd reconnected with some old friends. In the week I'd been back, I'd been invited to dinner several times, bowling, a movie, and a yoga class. I went to every single one of them. I had to, otherwise I'd sit in this hotel suite alone, missing Hudson, tempted to call him. And I wasn't ready for that yet, wasn't sure I could forgive him.

My cell phone rang, and I grabbed it. Part of me kind of hoped it was Hudson again, but it wasn't. "Hey, Callie. What's up?"

"I'm headed to the mall. I have to buy a cocktail dress for a work thing at the end of the month. Want to tag along?"

"Yes," I said a little too eagerly. "I'll be to your house in ten minutes."

Callie laughed. "Great. I'll even buy lunch."

"And I'll buy the daiquiris." I laughed and grabbed my purse, leaving the suite. It felt good to laugh again, to have a social life, to interact with friends. Even before I'd moved back to Texas, I hadn't felt this alive. I'd been so engrossed in work and caring for Jamie I'd avoided life outside of the house and office. When I returned to the ranch, I was going to make it a point to look up some of my old high school friends, start living life again now that I was over my divorce, and slowly getting over Hudson..... I think. I frowned. Despite everything, I missed him something terrible. Maybe a phone call wouldn't hurt.

***

My cheeks hurt from laughing and smiling so much, but I felt good, lighthearted and positive. I'd be sad to leave in five days, but at least I could return home with a renewed sense of purpose. I'd left the city so abruptly, I hadn't had time to make peace with the decision, but now I had, and it was time to look forward, not back.

I dug my key card from my purse and walked into the lobby. Then I stopped cold. My heart leapt into my throat and raced, and I blinked rapidly, unable to believe what was right before my eyes. "Hudson?" He stood there, in the middle of the lobby in dress pants, a button down shirt with a tie, and a large bouquet of red roses.

"Hi, Heather." He smiled sheepishly then looked down.

I couldn't help but smile. He looked so out of place here, but also so scared and unsure. "What're you doing here?"

"Looking for you." He stepped toward me and held out the flowers. "These are for you."

I took them and inhaled their sweet scent. "Thank you."

He nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Before you say anything, I just want you to know how sorry I am. I didn't come here with any expectations, okay? I only want to have a few minutes to talk to you."

A piece of me melted at his words. "Would you like to come up to the suite?"

"Yes," he said, relief swamping his words and face.

Silently, I led him up to the suite and tossed my purse on the chair. "Would you like something to drink? I believe I have some water, and the mini-fridge is fully stocked."

"No, I'm good. Thanks." He sat in one of the chairs, legs parted, and elbows on his knees. "Thanks for agreeing to talk to me."

I nodded and took the chair across from him. "Well, I was going to call you tonight anyway, and you did travel all this way. It wouldn't have been right to turn you away."

Hudson smiled, and my stomach fluttered. His smile always had that effect on me. Even after a couple of weeks apart, I still felt the same way about him I had the day I'd met him. It was intense and if I hadn't been sitting, I probably would've stumbled backward.

"I know I messed up. I've thought about what I did wrong every single day since you left. It was wrong for me not to tell you about the Jennings and my involvement with them." He sighed and hung his head. "I'm not trying to make excuses, but my history with those men is a long and complicated. I owed them, and they cashed in with you. I figured," he stood and began to pace, "okay, I thought I'd do this one thing for them, wipe the slate clean, and then I would never have to deal with them again. But then I met you and everything changed for me."

I stood and went to him, placing my palms on his chest. I could feel the heavy beat of his heart, the strain of his breaths. Swallowing, I looked up into his eyes, and every memory I had of him rushed at me. My head spun, and I was suddenly dizzy.

"Heather?" He wrapped his arms around me, and I leaned into him, finding familiar comfort in his embrace. "Can you please forgive me? I'll do anything. Just tell me what you want."

I sighed and nodded slowly. "Yes," I whispered, "yes, I do forgive you. But you have to—"

He cut me off by pressing his lips to mine and kissing me deeply. I threaded my fingers through his hair, holding him to me so he couldn't decide to pull away, to leave me again. Or so I wouldn't talk myself into kicking him out again. That's not what I planned to do, but I'd been known to convince myself of some pretty crazy things before.

"What were you saying?" he asked, smiling against my lips.

"Hmm?" I hummed dreamily, trying to clear my mind of the fog that had taken up residence there. "Oh, just that you have to promise never to lie to me again."

"I swear it on my life," he said.

"Good." I rested my head on his chest. "What happened when you told Buck you weren't going to help him?"

Hudson pulled away and stared at me. I couldn't tell if his expression was genuine concern or confusion. "Do you really want to know?"

"Yes." I nodded firmly. "I need to know." I took a deep breath. It was time to come clean. If I didn't want him lying to me, I couldn't lie to him. "Buck has threatened me, told me I'd regret not selling to him, he even left me some ominous letters. Now that you've bailed on him, I need to know what he said. I'm afraid of what he might do."

"Heather," concern laced his voice, "why didn't you tell me this before?"

I shrugged. "I really didn't think it was that big of a deal, but now that I know what lengths he's willing to go to, I need to be able to prepare for him. I have to think of Jamie."

He kissed my forehead. "I know, and I'll tell you everything, I promise, but can it wait until tomorrow? It's not like he's going to do anything tonight or track you down all the way out here. I would really like to just spend the evening with you."

"Okay." I smiled. "Speaking of, how did you find me?"

"I bribed Richard into telling me." Hudson laughed. "But don't be mad at him. It took me a week to get him to tell me anything."

"No, I'm not mad at him. How about we go get some dinner? Catch up a little."

"I'd love that."

"Great. I just want to freshen up a bit, and I have to let Jamie know where I'll be, let him know he can stay with his friend longer if he wants."

"Take your time." Hudson returned to the chair, and I went to the bathroom.

After washing my face and reapplying a touch of makeup, I fixed my hair a little, taking it out of the ponytail I'd had it in and putting it in a loose braid that hung over my right shoulder. I dabbed on a bit more perfume, and then sent Jamie a quick text. _Going to dinner with Hudson. Be back later. Please let me know where you are and what you're doing._

Almost instantly, my phone rang. It was Jamie. "Hey, sweetie. Having fun at your friend's house?"

"You're going to dinner with Hudson?" There was so much animosity in his voice, it made me cringe. "What the hell is he even doing here?"

"Jamie!" I scolded. "Watch your language."

"No, Mom. I can't believe he's here or that you're going out with him. He lied to you, remember? He used you."

"That's enough," I said sternly. Even though he was right, I would not allow him to speak to me this way. Nor would I allow him to speak of Hudson so poorly. And I certainly wasn't going to stand here and justify my actions to him. "My reasons for going out with Hudson are none of your concern."

"They are when he's going to be part of our lives."

I sighed with defeat. "I'm disappointed in you, Jamie. I really thought you'd changed, learned to give people the benefit of the doubt."

"I don't like him. He's no good for you."

I knew the only reason he was saying that was because he still held onto the hope that his father and I would reconcile, that he'd get his old life back. I hated to keep disappointing him, but the sooner he accepted our new life, the better. "Are you staying at Vick's longer? Or are you heading back here? If you want, I can leave some money for you or you can order room service for dinner."

"I'm staying here." Then he hung up.

I wanted to throw my phone across the room in anger, but that wouldn't solve anything. He was having a hard time adjusting, and I would just have to be patient, to give him more time. Eventually he'd accept life in Texas, and Hudson. Double checking to ensure I still looked presentable; I left the bathroom and returned to Hudson on the couch.

He stood. "Everything all right?"

"Yeah," I forced a smile, "just... Jamie." I sighed. "I guess I should've known better than to bring him back to the city. We'd finally gotten to a good place together, and now he's right back to his old ways."

Hudson put his arm around me, kissed my temple. "I'm sure once you get back to Texas, things will go back to how they were."

"I sure hope—" My phone rang again, and I rolled my eyes. If this was Jamie again, calling to give me grief... But it wasn't. It was my dad. Weird he'd be calling. "Hi, Dad," I answered.

"Oh, good. I thought you might still be in that God forsaken city."

"I am in the city, Dad. Hudson's here with me." Man, what was it with all the men in my life wanting explanations about my decisions in life?

"Well, you need to get back here ASAP."

The tone of his voice gave me pause. "Why?" I asked slowly. "Is something wrong? Did something happen to the ranch?" Panic swelled in my chest, choking me as I tried to swallow.

"No, the ranch is fine. It's your mother, Heather. She's in the hospital."

I swore my heart stopped beating and all the color drained from my face. I reached for Hudson to steady myself. The last time I'd gotten a call like this, my grandmother had fallen ill then died a few weeks later. The thought of losing my mother, too, was too much to handle. "We're on our way," I said, ending the call.

To be continued...

### Thank you for reading!

### Please visit your favorite eBook retailer to view the next books in the "The Nurse and the Cowboy" series.
Romancing The Cowboy

by

Nicole Price

# Chapter One

I loved my marketing job in the city. It was everything to me. I was slowly moving up the corporate ladder, and I was thrilled. Yes, I worked long hours and made the job my life, and yes, that meant my social life kind of took a backseat. Yet I didn't care, I convinced myself. I was living life my way.

The job paid very well and allowed me to afford a great apartment in the East Village. I had so much in which to be thankful.

I was able to afford nice clothes, including some designer outfits, and I was slowly building up a collection of my favorite Louboutin shoes. In a few years, I would surely be able to move into an even bigger place and have more luxuries. Yes, life was good.

***

"I just feel that you should get out more and maybe meet a guy," Melinda, my best friend, said to me from across the table where we were having coffee. We had bonded over dirty clothes one day at a Laundromat in the Village, and immediately become very close. However, with my long hours, it was becoming increasingly difficult to spend time with Melinda.

"I'm fine. I told you that I need to work hard so that I can continue moving up in my company. Things have been going great. My boss is happy, and remember, I recently got that raise. What more could I ask for? Well, other than another few pairs of Loubotins." I smiled at Melinda.

Melinda shook her head, "But you don't have a man."

"Since when is that the be-all and end-all in life? Give me a break." I took a drink of my cappuccino and noticed a young couple holding hands and smiling at each other as they strolled past us.

Suddenly, the strolling couple stopped a few feet away. The man leaned down and kissed the girl, and she giggled. They seemed so in love, too in love. It wasn't realistic. That's not how life was.

"I don't need a man, Melinda," I continued. "I have everything I need."

"But you're alone."

"I have you."

"Well, don't expect me to take care of your needs, if you know what I mean." Melinda laughed and shook her head, her long, dark hair blowing in the breeze.

"Ha, ha. I don't need you to take care of me. I have my trusty vibrator. I'm just fine."

"Sometimes, a little human companionship is needed." Melinda said with a smile.

"Come on. Why are you giving me such a hard time?" I said, rolling my eyes at Melinda.

"I just want you to be happy, Anna. You work so hard, but there's more to life than work. I just want you to have what I have."

Melinda had been with the same guy for the last few years. He treated her better than anyone she had been with previously, and recently, he had begun talking about marriage. I was happy for her, but that wasn't my thing. I had no desire to settle down with one man.

"I am happy. I'm happy with my home, my job, my raise. What more could I ask for?"

"If you say so." Melinda said as she sipped her coffee.

I tried to lighten the mood. "Anyway, the old vibrator doesn't talk back. I get what I need from it. It's a win-win." I smiled and Melinda chuckled.

***

I was back at the office, working late, my mind trying to figure out the best way to go with the new marketing campaign. Suddenly, I heard a voice, and I almost jumped. I hadn't heard anyone approaching me. Looking up, I noticed my boss.

"Anna, are you still here?" asked my boss, a tall man named Joe. He was wearing a white shirt that was slightly rumpled from the long day in the office.

"I just had to finish up a couple of things, Joe. I think the client will be very happy."

"I don't know how I'd handle things without you around here. You've been great. But it's late, and you should be getting home now."

I looked at my watch. "Yeah, I guess so." Where had the time gone? I could feel a headache starting to form in the back of my head, and I realized how tired I was as a yawn began to overtake me.

"Excuse me, Joe. I guess you were right. I should be going."

"OK, I'll see you tomorrow, Anna. Have a good night."

"You too." I began packing my things, and once I was on the street, I hurried to the subway, looking forward to a hot bath and a glass of wine.

Thankfully, the subway was fairly empty, and I was able to get a seat and go over the research on a new account we had landed. However, I became so wrapped up in the file that I almost missed my stop.

Sighing, I got out and walked the two blocks to my building. It was a clear, crisp night, and I enjoyed the walk. It invigorated me. I felt alive in this busy city that never slept.

At my apartment, a fourth-floor walkup, I smiled, thinking that each day I walked these stairs I was getting a great workout. Many people paid for stair stepping, but I got it free. I chuckled. I did love it here. My apartment was great.

When I walked into the kitchen, I poured a glass of wine and took a long swallow, savoring the liquid as it ran down my throat. Then I went to the bathroom with its large, claw footed tub and ran a hot bath, making sure to put plenty of bath bubbles into it.

My head was now aching, and my back had knots in it, so when I eased myself into the soothing, hot tub, I immediately felt my tension slipping away. It felt wonderful. I had everything I needed. I couldn't believe Melinda had given me a hard time about working so hard.

Oh, well, I guess that was her thing, but it surely wasn't mine. People didn't realize that you didn't need a man to be happy. Life was more than that, I thought, lying in the bubbles and sipping on my wine.

The heat and the soothing water were so relaxing that I almost fell asleep, but my phone's ringing brought me back to reality. It was Melinda, asking if I wanted to go to a gallery exhibition in a few weeks.

"Yes, that would be fun," I said. "I would really enjoy that."

"Great, and Dave," she said, referring to her boyfriend, "has a cousin coming into town, so I thought you might like to meet him."

"Melinda, I'm warning you, don't try to set me up."

"I'm not. He's just here for a few days."

"Fine," I said, chuckling to myself. Melinda just didn't give up.

***

The last couple of weeks had been hell at work, and my hours had been long and grueling. Yet through my tired state, I was optimistic, realizing that the price of success didn't come easy. I knew my hard work would pay off in the end, I told myself as I rushed to my desk one morning, sipping on a double expresso and starting on the day's tasks.

Soon, the hours had flown by and it was lunchtime. My co-worker, Bonnie, invited me to grab a sandwich with her, but I declined, needing to finish up the work I had promised Joe.

My head throbbing, I downed two pain pills and headed to the break room for a cup of coffee. On the way back, I spotted Joe, and his unsmiling face signaled that something was wrong.

"Oh, there you are, Anna. I need to talk to you," Joe said, looking down at the floor.

"Have I done something wrong?"

"No, Anna, but can we talk in private? Come to my office?"

"Sure," I said, my heart now beginning to race. What was going on? Once inside Joe's office, he hit me with the shock of a lifetime. Ushering me to sit down in front of his massive, oak desk, Joe remained standing, going to the floor-to-ceiling window that gave a view of the Manhattan skyline. He seemed to be thinking, and when he turned back to me, he was rubbing the side of his head.

"I have some bad news, Anna. I don't know how to say this but..." Joe's words trailed off, and I knew whatever he had to say would not be good.

"Anna, business hasn't been great, and with us losing clients, we've had to make some tough decisions. Unfortunately, we just can't keep all the employees. I'm sorry to tell you, but we have to let you go."

"What?" I said, my mouth hanging open in shock. "Are you kidding me, Joe? This is a joke, right? You can't be serious."

"Anna, I'm sorry. This isn't a joke. I wish we could keep you, but unfortunately, we can't. There's nothing I can do."

"But you said my work is invaluable to the company, that the company needs me."

"This is not about your work. If it was up to me, I'd keep you around, but the President of the company has made these decisions. I have no say in any of this."

"Wow!" I shook my head and stood up. "I don't even know what to say."

"Listen, Anna. I will of course give you a good recommendation. With your resume and my recommendation, you should be able to land on your feet with no problem."

"Um, sure, Joe." The whole conversation was surreal. I couldn't believe this was really happening. "

"Are you OK, Anna?"

"I'll be fine."

***

I had finished the week out at work, and now, I stood in my apartment, alone and wondering. I needed to get a new job. I had been looking a little over the week and had already sent my resume to several companies, but of course, a good job would take time. Thankfully, I had a little money in savings, but it wouldn't last forever.

"Damn, why me? Why now? Everything was going so great," I said, pacing my apartment. I looked out the window at the street below, which was tree-lined and narrow, barely any room for cars to drive through. That's what I had loved about this place. It was charming, and reminded me of the early 20th century, but if I didn't get a job soon, I could lose all of this.

The phone's ringing brought me out of my musing. It was Melinda. "So, how are you, Anna?"

"Not great, but I'll survive. Something will come along. I have to believe that."

"Well, are you still up to going to the gallery with us tonight? I'd really like you to come."

"I don't know. I'm probably not good company. I'm kind of in a bad mood." I said sarcastically.

"Yeah, I know that, and that's why you need to get out. You can't wallow in misery at home. You need to relax and not think about work for a while."

"I know. It's just that it's so fresh. I just lost the job."

"I realize that, but I want you to come. Please, Anna. It means a lot to me," came Melinda's pleading voice through the phone.

"Fine, I'll be there. Give me the address again," I said. I knew she wouldn't leave me alone if I didn't acquiesce to her wishes.

After hanging up, I fumbled around, trying to find something to wear and eventually settled on jeans and a dark blouse. Melinda had told me that this exhibition was very casual, which was fine with me. I didn't feel like dressing up.

I hurried to the gallery, which was only a few blocks away, and when I reached the building, I saw Melinda standing outside with Dave, who was tall and blonde-haired. Dave was talking to a man of medium height, with dark hair and stubble on his face. I assumed that was the man Melinda wanted to set me up with.

"Hi, Anna. I'm so glad you could join us," Melinda said, giving me a quick hug. After saying hello to Dave, I was introduced to his cousin.

"This is Rob. He's from Upstate, but he's thinking of moving here," Melinda said, her dark eyes gleaming.

"Oh, that's great," I said, plastering a smile on my face and trying to appear interested, but the last thing I cared about was meeting a guy. I had much bigger things to worry about.

"Anyway, Dave's friend is a sculptor, and this is his first exhibition. His work is amazing," Melinda said, leading the way down a flight of steps and entering a large room which was filled with spot-illuminated statues, many of them nudes, either angels or fairies.

As I scanned the room, it was obvious that a lot of effort was put into the very deliberate random placement of each piece on its pedestal.

"Look at these pieces. Aren't they beautiful?" Melinda asked.

"They are," I answered, looking at a sculpture of what appeared to be a mermaid. That was a smart move on the gallery owner's part, I thought. If you don't label each piece, the customer can see it as a mermaid, fairy, or angel. Thus, you will please many people and widen your market. I laughed to myself, the marketer in me always thinking.

# Chapter Two

It had been a couple of months since I was laid off, and I still hadn't landed another job. Nothing seemed to be working right. I couldn't find a job, and, according to Melinda, I couldn't find a man.

It hadn't worked out for me with Dave's cousin. After meeting him at the gallery, we had gone to dinner once, but there just wasn't anything there for me. I felt no sparks, so I ended it. But that was the least of my worries.

I thought my resume and my letter of recommendation from my former boss would surely get me a job, but the type of position I was going for was tougher than I realized. Plus, I needed a certain salary if I wanted to remain in my apartment and keep my same standard of living.

I had thought about getting a roommate, but quickly realized that wouldn't work. I only had one bedroom, and most roommates wanted their own room. So, I was on my own.

My savings account was rapidly diminishing, though, and when I was on the phone with my mom one night, she suggested something that hadn't crossed my mind.

"Why don't you come home for a while, Anna? Get away from the city and regroup."

Her words startled me. Going home was the last thing I wanted. I loved my life in the city. My hometown was dull, a small town in the middle of nowhere, and the biggest action was at the local roadhouse where everyone got drunk.

"Well, I need to be in the city in case I get an interview."

"If you get an interview, you just fly back, sweetie. In the meantime, you can come home and not worry about going through all your money. I'm afraid you won't be able to afford your apartment."

My mom was right. I was living on the edge, and I had thought about asking my parents for a loan, but perhaps it was better not to. I hated being in debt to them. However, wouldn't it be worse living with them? I'd feel like a kid again.

My mom's voice broke into my thoughts. "It would just be for a short while, Anna, until you get another job. In the meantime, you can let the apartment go and hold onto what money you have left."

The idea, while kind of scary to me, did make sense, so I said, "I'll think about it, Mom."

"Well, I want you to seriously consider it, sweetie. Please, promise me."

"OK," I said, and after we hung up, I poured some wine for myself and went to the window. I hated the thought of giving this place up.

But what choice did I have? I wouldn't be able to afford it in another month anyway, so it would be better if I left rather than being evicted for non-payment of rent.

"Damn, I can't believe this is happening," I said as I paced the apartment. "This is so not what I had planned."

***

"I can't believe you're really going," Melinda said to me as we stood inside of my apartment, the movers taking the last of the boxes to the truck. Luckily, I had found someone to sublet my apartment, so I didn't have to worry about that, but still, it hurt leaving this place. I took a look around the empty room and sighed.

"So much for my big city dreams. Now, it's back to Nowhere Land," I said, using the nickname I had made up for my hometown in Indiana.

"But you'll be back, right?" Melinda asked, looking worried.

"Yeah, of course. I'll only be there a short while. Hopefully, something will come up soon."

"I'm going to miss you so much, Anna. You could have moved in with me, you know," Melinda said, tears beginning to form in her eyes.

"Dave is moving in with you. There'd be no room. Now, don't start crying right now. I really can't take it. You're going to have me bawling like a baby. I have to be strong," I said, taking a deep breath and holding back the tears that were threatening to pour out of me.

"I'm sorry. It's just going to be so lonely without you around."

"No, don't say that. You've got Dave." I shook my head.

"Yeah, but he's not you. I can't talk to him about the stuff you and I talk about."

"I know, but we'll talk on the phone every day, and in no time at all, I'll be back," I said, trying to be brave. I had to believe that I would be back soon, very soon. It was the only way I could go through with this whole thing.

"OK, if you say so," Melinda said, wiping her eyes. "So, is there anything else I can do?"

"Nope, that's everything," I said, gesturing around the empty apartment, which now seemed so huge without all the furniture inside.

"Listen, Melinda. Do you mind if I have a minute alone? Just me and the apartment," I asked, trying to smile.

"Sure, I'll be downstairs waiting." Melinda and I were going back to her place tonight, and tomorrow, she would be dropping me at the airport.

When she left, I walked around the room and sighed. "Goodbye, apartment. I'm really going to miss you, more than you know," I said out loud, and then I laughed. Missing an apartment? Had I lost my mind? Apparently so, if I was now talking to an empty apartment. What had gotten into me?

I walked around, lost in my thoughts. This was the end for me. I still couldn't believe it. My life as I knew it had been ripped out from under me in one fell swoop. The whole thing felt surreal and very scary. I had no idea how it would be living back home with my parents.

"Well, at least I can catch up on my sleep. There's not much else I can do," I said, walking into the bedroom. An object on the gleaming hardwood floor caught my eye, and I bent to pick it up.

It was a diamond earring I had bought for myself six months ago. I figured a girl needed to treat herself every now and then, especially since I didn't have a man to lavish gifts upon me.

"It must have fallen out of my jewelry box. Damn, this is expensive. I can't afford to lose it." I shook my head, thinking I could pawn the earring if I ever got into serious trouble. "I hope the other earring is OK," I said, placing it into my purse and walking out of the room.

I walked back into the living room, took one last look at the street outside, and sighing heavily, I walked to the door and out of the apartment. I was leaving all this behind and beginning a new life. It terrified me. What was I getting myself into?

# Chapter Three

It felt surreal as I walked through the door after my mom. She had just picked me up from the airport, and now we were home, my childhood home.

"Everything is always the same around here," I said, walking into the living room that hadn't changed in 20 years. My parents still had the same green, upholstered couch and matching green chairs. The same dark coffee table was in front of the sofa, and the walls, in my opinion at least, were still boring and beige with pictures of family and friends.

"Well, you know you're dad and I don't like change," her hazel eyes crinkling at the corners as she gave me a big smile.

"Yeah, I know, Mom, but still, you could update some things around here."

"Why get rid of what we have? It's a waste of money. Anyway, why don't you go up to your room and get settled. I'll start dinner." My mom kissed me on the cheek and turned towards the kitchen.

"OK, Mom, sounds good." I walked up the beige-carpeted stairs. My room was at the end of a long hallway, and when I closed the door behind me, I stood against it and sighed. This was going to be tougher than I thought.

I shook my head as I looked around the room. It too hadn't changed. My room was still occupied by the same light oak dresser and matching night table. My bed was still covered in a light blue comforter, and several porcelain dolls were on shelves around the room.

I smiled when I saw the dolls. I had loved collecting porcelain dolls. Maybe I should bring them back to the city when I returned, I thought, going up to one and running my fingers down its curly, dark hair.

"God, this is so weird," I said, looking at my reflection in the mirror. I can't believe I'm really here, but I guess I better make the most of it."

***

"So, Anna, it's great to have you back," Dad said, smiling at me from across the long, pine table.

"Thanks, Dad, but I probably won't be here long. As I said to Mom, it's only a matter of time until I find another job."

"I know you can't wait to get back to your fancy city life," Dad said, shaking his head, which was covered with gray hair.

"It's not a fancy city life, Dad. I just happen to love living in the city. You know me. I've never been much of a small town girl."

"Yeah, but ever since you moved away we never get to see you," Dad said.

"Well, I tried to come home as much as I could, but I was busy. You guys could have come to see me too."

"Yeah, but you know your father, Anna," Mom said, winking at me. "He hates travelling to New York City."

"I'm here now, so let's make the best of it."

"That sounds good, Anna, and I was thinking," Dad said, his blue eyes studying me intently.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Well, maybe you could get a job while you're here. I know it wouldn't be anything fancy, but it would give you some spending money."

"I don't know, Dad. Like I said, I don't expect to be here long."

"Your dad makes a good point, dear. You'll feel better if you're bringing in some money, and plus, it'll keep you busy," my mom said, pushing a stray piece of her short brown hair out of her face.

"That's true. There's not much to do around here."

"So, start applying to places. I hear the feed supply store is looking for help," Dad suggested.

I chuckled. The feed supply store? How unglamorous. I worked in the corporate world of marketing. A feed supply store would be the furthest thing from my old job.

"I know what you're thinking, Anna. You think you're too good to work there. But it's just a job until you get back to New York. Don't knock it," Dad said.

"Yes, I know, Dad. You're right. I guess I could go over there tomorrow and speak to them."

"That's the spirit."

***

As I was getting ready to go over to the feed supply store, I automatically dressed in my work clothes, a dark, pencil skirt and a white silk blouse and high heels.

My Dad had already left for work. He was an accountant at a small company in town, but Mom greeted me when I walked into the kitchen.

"You look great, Anna. Where are you going?" Mom asked.

"I'm going to the feed supply store, like we talked about yesterday. At least working will keep my mind off of my depressing life."

"Stop talking like that. Your life isn't depressing. You have a great life." Mom smiled at me and handed me a cup of coffee.

"A great life? I moved back in with my parents. That's not exactly something to be proud of, Mom."

"I'm just saying that you shouldn't be so hard on yourself, Anna. Your father and I are very proud of you. We really are."

"Thanks, Mom." I stood in front of the granite counter in the middle of my parents' kitchen and sipped my coffee. "Anyway, I had forgotten how good your coffee was. I missed it."

"Thanks, dear."

"Would you like to eat something, Anna?"

"No, Mom. You know I've never been big on breakfast." I finished the last of my coffee and said, "Well, I should get going."

"So, you're going to the feed store like that?" Mom asked, frowning.

"Why? What's wrong?" I looked down at myself and thought I looked good.

"No, no. There's nothing wrong. It just seems, though, that you're kind of overdressed." Mom put her hands up, shrugging.

"Oh. So, you think this is too much?"

"Maybe just a little, sweetie."

"I guess I should go change then. Thanks, Mom." I walked away, shaking my head. Of course, I was overdressed. What was I thinking? I wasn't going into a corporate office. I was going to a feed store.

I hurriedly changed into dark slacks and a dark blouse, and then I went back downstairs. "Better, Mom?"

"Much better. Although, you could probably wear jeans." My mom said.

"Well, I think I'll just wear this outfit. Anyway, can I borrow the car?"

"Of course." Mom handed me the keys and I left the house. When I got into the car, my hands started clenching the wheel. I was actually a little nervous. What did I know about working in a feed store? I needed to calm down, so I called Melinda.

"Anna? How are things? Are you OK?" Melinda sounded worried and I couldn't help laughing.

"Of course I'm OK." I told her about going to the feed store and when I was done, I sighed. "Pretty pathetic, right, Melinda?"

"It's not pathetic. You're doing what you have to, Anna. I admire you for getting out there and doing that. You've been so tough throughout all of this."

"Well, I'm not feeling very tough. Inside, I'm nervous. I don't know how to act or anything. What do I say to the people at the store?"

***

I pulled up to the store and groaned. "I can't believe I'm really doing this," I said, looking at my reflection and smoothing down my long hair. Then, before I could change my mind, I got out of the car and walked to the door, passing a man going the opposite direction and carrying several bags in his arms.

I smiled and walked past him, entering a dimly lit room with a long, wooden counter at the front. An older man with white hair stood behind the counter talking to a younger man who was very tall, well over six feet.

The young man was laughing at something the older man had said, and when I walked up to them, the man behind the counter smiled.

"Hey, pretty lady. How can I help you?"

"Hi, I heard you were looking for help," I said, plastering a smile on my face.

"Yes, we are. We're just looking for someone to work behind the counter. Of course, we'll have you doing other little errands as well, but it's fairly simple. Have you ever worked a cash register?"

"Well, it's been a while since I've done anything like that. Oh, here's my resume, by the way." I reached into my briefcase and pulled it out, handing it to the man behind the counter.

He chuckled and said, "Very impressive, but I don't need to see a resume. You look like you're not from around here. What brings you to town?"

"Actually, I grew up here. My parents still live here." I told the gentleman my parents' names, and he said, "Oh, yes, I think I've spoken to your father before. OK, so what brings you back here?"

Not wanting to get into anything, I said, "I'm just making some changes in my life." I was hoping we could go somewhere to talk.

"Well, Anna," the man said, looking down at my resume. "You seem like a smart young woman, so I think we can offer you the job. Oh, and by the way, my name is Doug. I own the place with my wife Darla. Can you start tomorrow?"

That's it? I wanted to blurt out, but instead, I just smiled and said, "Sure, tomorrow is good for me."

"Good, then come in around 8, and we'll get you trained. It won't take long."

"OK, sounds good." After we set up a time to meet, I started to turn away, but the man stopped me and said, "And Anna, you don't have to dress up around here. Jeans and a tee-shirt are just fine."

The handsome man standing in front of the counter chuckled and I felt my face getting hot from the blush that was beginning to spread over it.

I wasn't really dressed up, I thought. I had changed out of my earlier outfit, but apparently, I was still overdressed. I felt like such a fish out of water, but there was nothing to be done.

Doug's voice broke into my thoughts. He said, "Oh, and by the way, this is James. He's one of our best customers. You'll be seeing James around here a lot."

James offered his hand, and when our fingers met, I felt an instant connection. Perhaps it was the combination of his good looks and confidence. I can't really say, but whatever it was, I reacted strongly to him. I quickly pulled my hand away and took a deep breath. What was wrong with me?

"Well, nice to meet you, Anna. Talk to you later, Doug." James turned around and confidently strode out of the store.

I looked away and smiled at Doug. "Anyway, I look forward to starting work. Thank you so much for giving me this opportunity."

"See you tomorrow," I said, walking out of the store and expelling a huge breath of air. OK, one thing down. I now had a job to occupy my time and give me some spending money. Now, I just needed to hear back from a marketing firm in New York.

# Chapter Four

"Congratulations, Anna," my dad said to me that evening as we sat at the dinner table.

"Well, it was pretty easy. I'll say that. I was surprised they hired me on the spot, but I guess that's how it's done around here."

"So, you still planning on going back to the New York?" My mom frowned when she said the words.

"Mom, of course. You know that?"

"I don't know. I just like having you around here. It gets lonely without you."

"Um, Donna, you have me," Dad said, shaking his head.

"Yeah, I know, Bill, but you can't make up for Anna. She's my little girl."

"Oh, you two." I laughed at my parents. They could be cute at times, I thought, trying to look on the bright side.

After we finished our meal, I helped my mom clean up and then I said, "I think I'm going to take a walk, get some fresh air."

"Yeah, you don't get that in the city, do you?" Dad asked.

"Dad, be nice." I went outside, walking towards the woods. My parents' home was situated on forty acres of land, much of it forest, and when I had been young, I loved walking through the trees and being alone with my thoughts.

It really was beautiful out here, I thought, walking towards the tall pines and oaks that filled the woods. A full moon was out tonight, so it lit my way perfectly.

"God, I forgot how peaceful and relaxing this was," I said out loud, walking over the hard dirt and breathing in the crisp, clear air. The stresses of the last few days and weeks began to slip away as I walked through the magical woods.

"I could stay out here forever," I said, looking up at the stars which twinkled in the clear sky.

Suddenly, I felt that everything would be OK. All my worries began to dissipate and I felt, no, I knew, that I would be fine. There must have been a reason for all of this happening, and I would come out of it better than ever.

Looking down at my phone, which I always carried, I realized it was later than I realized. I had lost track of time. I had better get back home, I thought to myself. Tomorrow was a busy day.

My mom looked worried as I walked into the door.

"Where were you?"

"Just walking, Mom. You know me. I always enjoyed walking."

"Yeah, I know. I was just worried."

I walked upstairs to my room, and all of a sudden, I was nervous again. I had never worked in a feed supply store, but how difficult could it be, I reasoned. Surely, my old marketing position took a lot more skills. I just needed to relax and do this. Once the first day was over, I would feel a lot better about things.

***

"Ah, Anna, so glad to see you," Doug said as I walked into the store the next morning. Today, I wore a pair of jeans and a simple tee-shirt, and I noticed him smiling as he eyed my outfit.

"I see you're already getting used to things around here."

"I guess so. So, do you need me to fill out paperwork before we get started?"

"That would be great," said a female voice from behind me. I turned to see a petite woman with short grey hair standing there. "I'm Darla by the way."

"Oh, hi. Nice to meet you."

"Well, why don't you come with me, Anna?" Darla asked. We can go over things in here, she said, leading me to a small room in the back of the store.

Two metal desks with folding chairs took up most of the room, and a coffee pot was on a small wooden counter. Several cups sat nearby.

"Have some coffee if you'd like," Darla said, motioning to the pot, and me, needing my caffeine, gladly took her up on her offer.

Darla placed some paperwork on one of the desks. "Here you go, Anna. We just need this so we can get your checks made out to you. We pay every Friday. Did Doug go over the pay with you?"

"No, he didn't," I said, realizing that I had no idea what I was being paid. What an idiot, I thought to myself.

"Well, it's not much, but after you've been here 90 days, we will give you a raise." She mentioned a number that was well beneath what I was used to receiving, but I just smiled, gritting my teeth. What did I expect? This was a small feed store, not a Madison Avenue marketing firm.

"OK, I'll leave you alone while you fill out the paperwork. I'll be back in a few minutes." Darla waved, and when she was gone, I sighed. God, I couldn't believe that this was now my life, I thought, settling onto the hard, metal chair and beginning to fill out the forms in front of me.

***

"It's lunchtime, Anna. Why don't you go grab a bite to eat?" Darla asked me. I was standing behind the counter after helping ring up some purchases for a customer.

I walked out from behind the counter, grabbed my purse and started for the door. I wasn't really paying attention and almost walked into James, who placed his arms out and said, "Hey, be careful."

"Oh, sorry," I said, not wanting to meet his eyes. A blush was beginning to spread over my face. Damn, I was making a fool of myself around this gorgeous man.

"No problem. So, how's your first day going?" James asked.

"It's been going well. I'm just going to take a little lunch break.

"Well, I don't want to take you away from your break. Go have fun. I'll see you around," James said, breaking into my thoughts.

"OK, great." I walked out of the store, and when I was in my car, I immediately called Melinda.

"How's it going, Anna? Do you like the job?"

"It's OK, nothing special or anything. Anyway, I have to tell you about this guy I met. He's really hot."

"Wow! He really must be something. I never hear you getting excited about men. You're always too busy with other things."

"I know, but maybe because I don't have a lot going on, I'm starting to wake up.

"Maybe he'll eventually ask you out," Melinda said.

"I doubt it. A guy like him is probably married. Anyway, I just wanted to talk to you. I'm on my lunch break."

I was still sitting in my car, which was parked at the curb in front of the store. "I should probably get going. I'm going to try to get some coffee. The coffee at work is not the greatest. My morning cup tasted like it had been burning in the pot for hours. My poor stomach couldn't handle it. God, I miss the city."

"Well, I miss you. I can't wait until you're back here again, Anna."

"Yeah, me too. It's so strange being here." I looked out of the window, spotting James leaving the store and carrying a large, white sack.

"I better go. The guy I was telling you about just left. He probably thinks I'm waiting around for him. I feel weird. I'll call you later," I said, hurrying Melinda off the phone and starting the car up.

It was too late, however. James had already spotted me and was approaching my car. I opened the window as he came closer and smiled sheepishly.

"What are you still doing here, Anna? I thought you were grabbing a bite to eat."

"I was. I just..." All of a sudden, I felt at a loss for words. This man made me feel uncomfortable like no one ever had. What was it about him?

"Hey, you OK?" James asked, putting the sack onto the curb.

"Yeah, I'm fine. My friend was on the phone. We were catching up, so I kind of got carried away with the conversation. Anyway, I should be going. I'm sure I'll see you around." I waved and put the car into drive and without saying anything further, pulled away.

Sighing, I drove down the street towards the diner. Damn, I really needed to get a grip. I was a professional woman. Why was I acting like such an idiot around this James guy? What was happening to me? I used to be so in control. Now, I couldn't even hold a simple conversation with a handsome man without feeling embarrassed.

# Chapter Five

"Anna, we're very happy with your work around here," Doug said to me one morning. It was a few weeks after I started at the feed store, and I was getting accustomed to the place and getting to know all the customers. In addition, I found myself looking forward to work, especially since James was often there.

"Thanks, Doug. I appreciate that." I smiled, seeing James entering the store.

I had gotten better in his presence. I no longer acted like a young schoolgirl and was able to hold normal conversations with him. We chatted whenever he came in, and he told me a little about his ranch. He was easy to talk to, and I found him a pleasant surprise. He was not only handsome, but a nice person too.

"You are really getting used to things around here. You've become a regular part of this place, quite different from a few weeks ago," James said, leaning in front of the counter.

"Yeah, I was just getting acclimated to being back here. The whole thing has been a bit of an adjustment," I said, thinking that's putting it mildly.

"Yeah, it's tough moving from the city, I'm sure. But you have to admit, Anna, it's pretty nice out here. You don't get this kind of beauty and quiet in the city."

"You're right. Believe me, I realize that there are a lot of great things about this place. For instance, I've begun walking in the woods again. I used to do that all the time when I was young. It's also nice to not have to worry about being robbed when you're out for a nightly walk." I laughed and James joined me.

"When I left here, I never thought I'd move back. High school seems so long ago. Funny, though, I don't remember you, James."

"Well, I didn't remember you at first, Anna, but then it hit me. You were a cheerleader. You were a year younger than me, but I used to see you around."

"Oh, wow. I'm sorry," I said. "I don't remember you. I feel terrible."

"No, don't feel bad. I was kind of a geeky kid back then. Kind of forgettable."

I highly doubted that, but I kept my mouth shut. "Well, I'm just glad I know you now. It's been great to have someone my age to talk to. Lately, all I do is hang out with my parents and Darla and Doug. It's not a lot of fun," I said, and then began to feel self-conscious. Did James think I was asking him out? I didn't want to give that impression.

"I'm not asking you out or anything. That's not my intention, believe me."

James looked at me strangely after the words came out of my mouth, and he said, "OK, no problem."

Had I insulted him? That wasn't my intention either, so I said, "I'm sure you're busy with other things."

"Yeah, sure." James looked at me, seeming as if he wanted to say something, but I continued on.

"Anyway, I'm sure you have a wife, right?"

James was quiet for a moment, and then said, "No." He looked up at the ceiling as if lost in thought and then he turned back to me. "Well, what about your old friends from school? Have you talked to any of them?"

"The people I hung around with moved away from here too. Anyway, I'm fine, and I don't want to get too used to things around here. I mean, I will be leaving again after I get another job."

"So, New York is the place for you, huh?"

"Yeah, I don't know how to describe it, but there's just something about that city that gets my blood pumping and excites me."

James said, "Yeah, I can tell. You get the biggest grin on your face when you talk about it. Well, I hope you'll get back there soon. You deserve to be happy."

"Thanks, James. I appreciate you saying that."

"Well, I'd better be going. I'll be back later. You said the supplies I ordered should be in by then?"

"Yeah, that's what Doug said."

***

I was finishing up with work, and the day was getting darker and darker as it wore on. "That big storm is coming up faster than I thought. It's not looking good," Doug said, and just then, a booming, crackling sound of thunder erupted from above.

"Yeah, I had forgotten about the storms around here." I looked out the window and saw a bolt of lightning split the sky. "That's one thing I didn't miss." I commented.

Just then, Darla walked out from the back office, saying, "James just called. He can't get here to pick up the supplies. He asked if we could drop them off on our way home."

"Yeah, I can get Ben to do that," Doug said, referring to one of the young men who worked in the warehouse area in the back.

"No, don't worry about it," I said. After spending a lot of time chatting with James, I had learned where he lived. His property happened to be one I passed everyday on my way home, so I thought I could help out. Plus, I kind of liked the idea of seeing James at his ranch.

"I go right by there, Doug. I can drop off the supplies. Just ask Ben to put them in the trunk of my car."

"You don't mind doing this, Anna?" Doug looked at me uncertainly.

"No, I'd be happy to do this. But hurry. I want to get going before the rain starts."

"OK, thanks, Anna."

"I'll talk to you guys later," I said, pulling away and heading to James's place. He lived on an old dirt road, and his driveway was several miles down. When I reached it, my heart started beating a little faster in anticipation of seeing him.

As I drove down his long, graveled driveway, I began clenching the wheel in anxiety. Hopefully, James wouldn't mind me dropping the supplies off, I thought, my stomach now churning.

The driveway was about a quarter of a mile long, and I took that time to take several deep breaths. Eventually, I came to a large farmhouse.

As I got out of the car, James stepped out of the house, saying, "Doug called me. He said you'd be bringing the supplies. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it."

"Oh, sure. No problem." I expelled a breath of air. James seemed happy to see me, so I opened the trunk and James began to take the sacks out.

When I tried to help, James said, "No, don't bother. These sacks are heavy. I don't want you hurting your back. I wanted to drive in myself, but I found a hole in the fencing that was fairly substantial. I needed all hands, including myself, and I couldn't make it down before the store closed.

"Oh, wow. So, is everything OK now?"

"Yeah, the guys are just finishing up, and we just rounded up the last wandering cattle," James said, chuckling. At that moment, a man came from the direction of the barn and began helping James with the sacks.

James said, "Why don't you go inside the house, Anna? It's going to start raining any minute."

As I walked into the house, another thunderous crackling exploded from the sky, and I jumped. I walked into his living room, clenching my hands and trying to calm down.

He had a large, leather sofa and a leather ottoman sat in front of it. Several leather chairs were next to the couch and a fireplace was in one corner. The floor was hardwood and covered with several dark rugs.

"So, thank you again," James said, coming into the living room and smiling at me.

"Oh, no problem." I looked out the window and rain was pouring out of the sky. "Damn, it's really coming down."

"Yeah, why don't you stay here for now, Anna? Wait until it clears up."

"Well, I don't want to impose on you or anything..."

"You're not," James interrupted. You just did me a big favor, now let me return the favor. Stay awhile and have some dinner with me."

"I guess I could do that. Let me just call my parents and let them know where I am," I said, starting to chuckle.

"What is it?"

"I'm just not used to checking in with my parents. It's tough getting back into that frame of mind," I said, pulling my phone out and explaining the situation to my mom.

Once I had hung up, James said, "The weather channel just issued a tornado warning, Anna," he said, pointing to the large screen TV he had turned on.

"Oh, wow! Just what I needed, a tornado."

"I'm sure it'll be fine. You remember how it is around here."

"Yeah, I know."

***

"You OK, Anna?" James asked, after coming back from the kitchen and handing me a glass of wine.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just hate these storms. So, anyway," I said, curling my legs up under me on James's couch. "Tell me more about you. We have the time. Lots of it," I said, pointing to the dark, stormy skies outside.

"Well, there's not much to tell. I took over the ranch from my father. I love it. It's a part of who I am."

"That's great. I admire you for that. You're doing what you love."

"Well, what about you? Haven't you been doing what you love since high school?"

"Well, I worked my butt off in college just so I could graduate early, and I got the job of a lifetime, but now," I shrugged. "I lost it all."

"Hey, don't say that about yourself. It sounds like you put a pretty good life together. It's not your fault your company laid you off."

"Yeah, but I feel like a failure." I took a sip of wine. "I mean, you have your own successful ranch, and you have your own home, but what do I have? Nothing. I mean I have a degree, but it means nothing, apparently. I work in a feed store."

"Come on, Anna. Don't talk like that. I for one am happy you work in that feed store." James's blue eyes twinkled.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, if you hadn't taken that job, I wouldn't have gotten to know you. It's been great being able to talk with you, Anna."

"Really?" I asked.

"Uh, yes." James chuckled.

# Chapter Six

I woke up and looked around, the strange bed startling me for a moment. Then it all came back to me. I had spent the night with James because the storm hadn't eased up, and he had graciously offered me his bed.

As I sat up, I groaned, holding my head. I had a headache, but that was probably from the wine I had consumed the night before. I had drunk more than normal, trying to calm myself during the storm, which had caused the house to lose electricity.

James had made the best of it, though. He had lit the place with candles, which gave it a romantic atmosphere, and I started to relax as the night wore on. We ended up chatting until the wee hours of the night.

As I got out of the bed, I walked to James's dresser and looked in the mirror. I looked a mess, my eyes were a little bloodshot and my hair was straggly.

Damn, I didn't have any makeup with me, I thought self-consciously, going to the bathroom and washing up. I was wearing a long tee-shirt James had lent to me the night before, so that I wouldn't have to sleep in my clothes. I quickly changed back into my clothes before joining James in the kitchen.

"Hey, there you are. Did you sleep OK?" James asked as I entered the room. He was at the stove, frying up eggs and what looked like ham, and the scents wafted over to me.

"Thank you. I slept great." I sat at a stool in front of the long counter in the center of the room and James brought me a cup of coffee.

"Oh, thank you so much," I said, stirring cream and sugar into it and taking a quick gulp. "Very good, James. I'm impressed."

"Thank you, and breakfast is coming right up. How do you like your eggs?"

"Over hard would be great."

"I had a good time with you, James. It was a lot of fun."

"Yeah, I will call it our storm party."

"Yeah, I guess it was. Well, you've just been great. I can't thank you enough, but I guess I should be going."

"Uh, that's not going to work. I've been up for a while, checking on things. The road out of here is blocked with a fallen tree, and the intersection at Maple is completely flooded out. Tom and Jose, two of my ranch hands, texted me this morning. They haven't been able to get here. That means you won't be able to leave yet. I'm sorry."

"Oh, well. I guess I can help you with things around here," I said, kind of happy that I couldn't leave. I really wanted to stay.

"Well, I'll put you to work," James said, smiling.

***

The day had flown by and now, it was early evening. I had spent the day helping James around the ranch, helping him feed the cattle, helping him with the horses, and he had even taken me for a horseback ride, something I hadn't done in years.

I sighed when I thought about how he had helped me off the horse. I was in his arms, his face so close, and my heart had begun racing, hoping he would kiss me. Unfortunately, he had let go. Did he feel anything for me, I wondered. I sure was feeling things for him.

It was getting tough. I really wanted this man. James's voice broke into my thoughts, saying, "I had a great day, Anna." We were both on the couch, our legs touching, and I turned to James, needing him to kiss me at that moment.

"I did too, James." I said, reaching out and patting his shoulder. Suddenly, James leaned in close to me, and his lips found mine.

It felt exquisite, and butterflies began fluttering in my stomach. This man's lips were electric, and I melted under the feel of them.

"Anna, I hope this is OK," James said, pulling away, and I couldn't help it. I had to laugh.

"This is more than OK," I said, pulling him to me again, and soon, we were both caught up in the kiss. It was wonderful, everything I could have wanted, and soon, I felt James's finger moving down my arm, and I shivered at his touch and pressed myself closer to him.

His fingers kept moving downwards, and then they trailed back up, reaching the top of my shoulder. Then, for just a moment, they stopped, and James pulled away from the kiss. "Are you sure you're OK with this?" he asked.

"I'm more than OK." I smiled at him and James's finger slipped under my shirt and found my bra. He began rubbing my nipple through it, and I exploded inside. It had been so long, far too long, since a man had touched me, and my body immediately responded.

My nipple hardened and my insides became wet, and I moaned from the sheer pleasure. "Ah, Anna, you feel so good," he said, continuing to rub my nipple very gently through the fabric of my bra.

"Well, you have no idea how good that feels." I said, and at that moment, James's finger slipped under the bra, feeling my skin, and I almost jumped. It was too much. His finger found my nipple, and he began rubbing it again.

"Oh, that feels wonderful, James." I said, leaning my head back and allowing the sensation to overtake me.

"Well, you feel wonderful." He pulled his finger out and started to rise from the couch, pulling me with him.

"Come here," he said, leading me to the thick rug in front of the fireplace. As he did so, he began removing his shirt, and I almost gasped at his rock hard chest and abdomen. His broad shoulders accentuated his tight waist and he looked perfect to me, my dream man.

I reached over and began stroking his chest, saying, "Wow! You have quite the body."

"I try." He shrugged and said, "Can I see yours?"

All of a sudden, I was shy. I was nowhere near as perfect as James, and I hesitated, looking down at the floor.

James seemed to read my mind because he said, "I think you're beautiful, Anna. Please, don't feel self-conscious around me." His eyes looked deeply into mine, asking me to trust him, and I decided I would.

I took off my top, removed the bra and stood in front of James, who reached out and began caressing my breasts. "You are even more beautiful than I thought. God, Anna, I want you so much."

"I want you too," I said, leaning up and kissing him. James continued to caress my breasts and his sweet lips kept kissing mine, and it was all too wonderful.

I became lost in the moment, but then, James pulled away and began tugging at his jeans. I watched expectantly as he pulled them down, removed his boxers, and revealed his manhood.

Again, I was amazed. His manhood was not only long, but quite thick, and I couldn't wait to feel it inside of me, filling me up.

I reached out and began stroking the long shaft, and James moaned. "Oh, that feels good. It's been so long."

I smiled, continuing to stroke, my fingers moving from the tip to the end of his long shaft and back again, but James stopped me after several moments. "If you keep doing that, I'm going to come. Let me see you."

I removed my jeans and panties, not self-conscious anymore, and James helped me to the rug, and when we were lying next to each other, he reached out a finger and placed it inside of my wet spot.

"You feel so hot, Anna," he said, finding my clit. I gasped at the unbelievable sensation and let him continue to stroke my clit, feeling the waves of pleasure passing over me and getting wetter and wetter by the minute. This was just too good, I thought, reaching over and playing with James's manhood again.

Several minutes, later, on the verge of orgasm, James pulled his finger out of me. "I want to feel myself inside of you, Anna."

"Please do," I said, watching as he grabbed his member and gently guided it into me. My insides were sore for just a moment as his large member filled me up, but when he started pumping away, I forgot everything but the wonderful sensation.

James reached out a finger at the same time and began playing with my clit, and the whole thing was too much for me, way too much. I couldn't help myself. I gave myself up to the amazing orgasm that awaited me, and James was right behind me.

Afterwards, wiping the sweat from his face, James said, "That was wonderful, Anna"

"Yes, it was. I can't even tell you." I laid in James's arms, smiling. This was just what I had needed, but now, I began to have doubts.

I was falling for James, and that was the last thing I needed right now. I would be going to Manhattan again. I couldn't afford to let myself have feelings for this man. What had I gotten myself into?

To be continued...

### Thank you for reading!

### Please visit your favorite eBook retailer to view the next books in the "Romancing The Cowboy" series.
Journey To Love

by

Marie Roberts

#  Chapter One

The day before my life changed forever was a Friday like any other.

I was running around with a "to do" list a mile long, trying to fit in all of my errands before I had to pick up Olivia at preschool. There was the grocery shopping. I had to get Bradley's shirts from the dry cleaners. Pick up a package- probably a birthday present from Bradley's sister in Michigan- from the post office. I had to stop by the bakery to get the cake. The party store to fill the balloons I'd chosen with helium. And at least one other errand, too...I knew I was forgetting something.

At a stop light, I pulled out my phone and quickly scanned through the notes I'd made on the calendar. There were no more errands written down, but I still had that feeling that I had forgotten something. The phone system of entering reminders in was supposed to make me more organized, but I missed my old system of scattering Post-Its all over the refrigerator. We'd gotten a brand new stainless steel fridge a few months ago and Bradley didn't like how cluttered it made the kitchen look to have Post-Its all over the place.

It was funny how your life circumstances could change so much in just a few short years, I mused to myself as I pulled the minivan in to the parking lot of the dry cleaners. Five years ago, who would have thought that Bradley and I would have been in a position to care about the appearance of our brand new stainless steel appliances? We'd still been living in the small two bedroom apartment on Wheeler Street back then, just two high school sweethearts trying to cobble together a happy life.

We'd married young, right out of college. I'd finished a diploma in Early Childhood Education and found a position at a daycare, teaching in the toddler room. Call me crazy for wanting to spend my days with two year olds, but I loved it. Those little people were hilarious and insightful and full of such honest love that I knew without a doubt I wanted one of my own. Bradley was working in charge of a team at a call center and we were getting by, so we'd decided we were going to start our own family.

Finding out I was pregnant with our son had been one of the happiest days of my life. When we first saw his little heartbeat in the ultrasound, Bradley and I had clasped hands and gazed with teary eyes at the tiny little life we'd created. Here was family. Here was love. Here was happiness.

Our son, Henry Alexander Sutton, was born a few months later. We didn't have much money, but we had each other, and it still made my heart ache with happiness to remember those first few years of our marriage. The baby cuddles, the first steps and first words, the camaraderie that we'd felt as we dealt with spit up and diapers and waking up in the middle of the night. Little things, like Bradley making sure the bottles were all washed and ready to go for daycare the night before, suddenly seemed like the most romantic gestures.

And then it happened. Bradley's boss had left the company to spend time with his wife, who had been diagnosed with cancer. It was terribly sad, and I hated to think what we would have done in that position, but Bradley had been chosen as his successor. That promotion had meant everything to us. More benefits. More work. More money.

Things had been so good that we'd bought a small house, and decided that now was the time to have a second child. We'd gotten lucky, and before we knew it we were back in the doctor's office, holding hands and watching a second tiny heartbeat. Olivia Rose had been born almost exactly four years ago- four years ago tomorrow, in fact. Bradley's job had meant that I could stay home with the children and raise them, just like I'd always dreamed.

The last four years had been a happy blur of domestic bliss, for the most part- work had been going so well for Bradley, with a promotion to a comfortable management job at company headquarters and quarterly bonuses, that we'd upgraded to a bigger house in one of the upscale suburbs that had sprung up in the outskirts of our Ohio town. First Henry had started preschool, and then regular school, and then before I knew it Olivia had been ready for preschool, too. Suddenly I was faced with long days alone. I could have found ways to keep myself busy- the gym, keeping an immaculate house, all the little errands that seemed to build up- but I wanted to contribute somehow. I'd enjoyed staying home, but I missed having my own money and my own sense of self.

Bradley had been unenthusiastic about it. "You don't need to go back to teaching daycare, Julia," he'd told me, almost offended. "I can provide for our family. Anything we need, and anything we want, too."

"It's not just about the money," I'd tried to explain. "I just- I need to do something to contribute to society, to the community, to something other than our family. I need to find myself again. I've spent the past few years doing everything for Henry and Olivia and for you, and I love you all so much, but I need to do something for me."

"Why can't you volunteer at the animal shelter or something?" Bradley had asked.

I sighed. "I'm allergic to cats," I reminded him.

"Oh. Right."

In the end, I'd gotten out the fancy DSLR camera I'd received last Christmas and tried my hand at photography. I'd never been any good at painting or music or dance or anything artistic at school, but I discovered I really loved photography. Something about capturing a special moment in time for immortality really spoke to me. I'd taken a course at a local community college, and practiced nonstop on my two adorable subjects, and only then had I felt confident enough to try my hand at photographing other peoples' children.

Once I started, I'd found I had a real knack for it. Slowly, I built up a bit of a portfolio, passed my business cards around, and word of mouth got around. I wasn't going to get rich doing it, but I had built up enough of a following of loyal clients that I stayed relatively busy. And best of all, I had a purpose again- places to go, people to see, pictures to take. Bradley was outwardly supportive enough, but I suspected that he secretly thought my little side business was just a silly pastime.

I had a home filled with beautiful pictures of my children, though, and that was what was important right now. I'd taken a beautiful shot of Olivia at the park a few weeks ago, her hair blowing loose around her face as she closed her eyes and blew on dandelion fluff. I'd been planning to blow it up and frame it for guests to sign.

That was it! I almost fist pumped in line at the dry cleaners. The missing errand. I had to pick up both the picture and the custom mat I'd ordered for it so I could set it up at her birthday party tomorrow. Before I could forget, I whipped my phone out of my purse and added that to the list of errands I had to run this morning.

I collected Bradley's shirts, then I headed back to the minivan. I quickly swung by the post office to pick up the box waiting there (it was indeed a present for Olivia), and stopped by the craft store to get a photo mat and a fresh box of Sharpie markers for guests to use. Next up was the grocery store, and I hurried through as quickly as I could. My stomach was growling and when I checked the time I was shocked to see it was half past twelve. Where had the time gone? I had just a little over two hours to get everything done and then stop by preschool to get Olivia. Grocery shopping on a hungry stomach was a terrible idea, I had a list of food to pick up for the party, but I kept being tempted by treats I didn't need to buy. Cheese, muffins, a can of Pringles...my stomach rumbled at it all.

I focused on my list. Burgers, buns, fruit, the makings of a salad. My mom was going to bring over her famous pasta salad, and my best friend Megan had told me she'd bring over a plate of brownies. We were expecting around thirty people- my parents, Bradley's parents, my brother and his family, Bradley's younger sister, some of my friends, and a few of Olivia's preschool classmates. Better have some food left over than not enough, I decided, and added an extra five pounds of ground beef. A case of beer, and I had to make a punch too. Juice for the kids. Did we have enough pitchers? Maybe I'd get one of those beverage dispensers to sit on the table to make it easier for the kids to use. This party had a budget, I reminded myself. It was just a casual backyard barbecue.

After the grocery store, I was so hungry I had to go through the drive-thru to get myself something to eat. I turned up the music in the car and spent a few minutes alone, just enjoying the greasy goodness of a burger and fries by myself. This might be my only chance at relaxing today.

I pulled up my phone to see if there were any messages from Bradley. Often we'd text each other during the day- silly jokes, random observations, a cute picture of the kids, a flirty message- but there was nothing. I sent him a quick update: _Out running errands, just finished @ supermarket. About to head to get cake and balloons. Need me to pick up anything for you while I'm out?_

I waited a few minutes in the car to see if he'd text me back, but I didn't get a reply. Well, it was over his lunch break- sometimes he had lunch meetings he had to go to. If he really needed something, he'd reply.

I debated getting cake or balloons next- obviously the less time the cake spent in the hot car the better, but I didn't want to be driving around with a backseat filled with helium balloons any longer than I had to either. I decided the cake was the lesser of the two, and I could always crank the air conditioning up as high as it would go. I usually preferred to keep the windows rolled down and have fresh air circulating since the air conditioner gave me a headache after a while, but I'd make the sacrifice for Olivia's cake.

Inside the bakery, I admired the three dozen cookie favors and _Frozen_ themed cake I'd chosen. It was beautiful- two layers of shimmery blue fondant with icicles and candy snowflakes dripping down the sides. Figurines of Anna and Elsa stood on the top, bookending the words _Happy Birthday, Olivia!_ She would go bananas for it and I couldn't wait for Bradley and I to watch her little face light up with joy.

"She'll love it," I told the young baker's assistant, handing over my credit card.

"Would you like some help carrying it to the car?" asked the girl. She carried the box of cookie favors while I balanced the cake carefully, placing it on the floor of the passenger side. I wished I'd thought to bring pillows to tuck around it to stay safe, but I was almost done with my errands. I'd drive carefully and once we got home, the cake would be safe.

I checked my phone again once I had buckled my seatbelt, to check if there were any messages from Bradley. There was nothing, but he was very busy at work these days. There was one hour left before I had to go pick up Olivia at preschool, followed by Henry at his elementary school. I made a quick stop to pick up the print I'd ordered of Olivia's picture, and then I made my final errand stop at the party supply store. We had most of the supplies we needed for a _Frozen_ themed party at home already- party hats, blowers, plates, napkins, cups, plastic cutlery, goody bags for the children, balloons and crepe paper streamers- but I couldn't resist picking up a box of sparkly snowflake pinwheels to add to the goody bags. I smiled again at the juxtaposition of doing a _Frozen_ birthday party in the first heat of the summer. I'd asked Olivia a few times if she'd consider any other theme- the beach, dolphins, maybe a luau theme- but she'd been stubborn. _Frozen_ was what she'd been obsessed with over a year, and she was stubborn like her mama, so _Frozen_ it was.

I'd been prepared for transporting helium balloons, and had brought a heavy blanket to put over them so they didn't float around inside the minivan. When I checked the time after my final errand, I had one beautiful half hour of freedom before I had to make the run to preschool and elementary school. I stopped at Starbucks for a lemonade and sat in the parking lot again, windows up, music and air conditioning on, trying to clear my mind.

It was hard. I kept running through my to-do list for the party tomorrow, and wondering if I'd missed the deadline for signing Henry up for swimming lessons this summer. A week from today was the last week of school, and then I'd have both of them home with me full time. I'd tried my best to sign each of them up for a few activities and day camps, and my parents had agreed to take them for a week so that hopefully at some point Bradley and I could get away somewhere by ourselves. Nowhere fancy- we never did big fancy vacations- but a bed and breakfast in the country, or maybe a few days of museums and fancy restaurants in the big city a few hours away. I hated to admit it, but even though I loved him with all my heart I'd been feeling a bit disconnect in our marriage over the past few weeks. Months? It was hard to pinpoint when I'd first felt it. Either way, it would be nice to escape from the daily monotony of work and preschool and birthday party planning and soccer and karate and ballet and just be Bradley and Julia once again.

My wandering thoughts were interrupted by the _ping_ notification on my phone. I grabbed it, hoping to see a message from Bradley, but it was just Megan asking what time the party began. At eleven, I reminded her. She'd be able to make it, right?

"Of course," she replied, and I hoped she was right. Bradley and I had moved to the next town over when we'd bought our new house, but I was still friends with the same girls I'd been close with in high school. I was the only one who was married and settled, though, and so I felt left out of the girls nights they sometimes had when I couldn't get a babysitter, or Henry had the flu, or Olivia had a dance recital. I knew they didn't really understand the responsibilities that came with having a family, but for my baby's birthday party they'd all assured me they would be able to make it.

With a sigh, I turned the key in the ignition and headed off to do preschool pickup. My little girl was hanging out by the door, waiting for me.

"Mommy!" she cried, running over to give me a hug. "Did you get the cake for my party tomorrow?"

"I sure did, honey," I said, holding her tight. "You're going to love it. But it's a surprise; you'll have to wait until tomorrow to see it."

Olivia was so excited she started to hop up and down, and I had to calm her down enough to get her buckled in to her car seat. Then we headed off to pick up Henry from first grade, before we could finally head back home. I sent the children ahead in to the house while I made trip after trip from the garage to the kitchen, hauling groceries, beer, the juice dispenser, cake, cookies, the picture and mat for signing, and finally hiding all the mylar helium balloons in Bradley's office. I worried that they would have started to lose their helium-ness by the party tomorrow, but filling them today was the only way I could make it work unless, I delegated the task. Bradley was supposed to be golfing with client's tomorrow morning- he'd assured me he'd be back in time for the party- and my friends would have their hands full with just attending. So the day before it had to be.

Since it was a nice day out, and I didn't want Olivia hanging around the kitchen hoping for a glimpse of her cake, I suggested a bike ride. Sunscreen and bike helmets were found, and off we went for an hour around the neighborhood. Henry wanted to ride much faster than Olivia could keep up on her training wheels. I had to constantly go between the two of them, simultaneously encouraging Olivia to keep pedaling. All the while urging Henry to go slow down and look around him at the nature that could be found in our suburb.

There was still dinner to get through- Henry begged for hamburgers, no matter how many times I reminded him there would be burgers at Olivia's party tomorrow- and bath time, and stories, and bedtime. I checked my phone every few minutes for the time, or a text from Bradley, or anything. He usually came home sometime around seven, in time to help with bedtime a bit before we would eat together. If he was going to be late he'd typically let me know and I would eat with the kids instead of waiting for him. But I checked my messages at seven, seven-thirty, seven forty-five, eight o'clock...and there was nothing.

"Where's Daddy?" asked Olivia, as the three of us settled down with a story once the kids were in their pajamas.

"Daddy's at work," I said.

"I want Daddy to kiss me goodnight," said Henry. "Will he be home soon?"

I paused. I didn't want to lie to my son. "I'm not sure exactly when he'll be home," I said. "But not too long. If it's after you're in bed, he'll come in and give you a kiss while you're asleep."

Olivia stuck out her lower lip. "Daddy said he'd bring me a princess crown to wear at my party tomorrow," she said. "What if he forgets?"

I already had a birthday princess crown downstairs, so I just smiled at her. "I promise you'll have a birthday princess crown tomorrow. Now let's get to bed, and the sooner you fall asleep, the sooner it will be your party!"

Luckily, Henry and Olivia both accepted that, and I tucked them both into bed with a hug and a kiss and a promise that Bradley would come in after they'd fallen asleep. As soon as they were both in bed, I headed downstairs to pour a big glass of wine and call my husband.

His phone went to voicemail. I was starting to get worried, and called again. This time he answered. "Hello?"

"Where are you?" I demanded. "Why are you late? The kids have been asking for you. I had to cover for you. They wanted to see you before they fell asleep."

"Oh, shoot," said Bradley. "I didn't realize how late it was. I got caught up in some work and had my phone on silent in my jacket and didn't realize what time it was already. I heard it vibrating against the chair when you called. Sorry, Jules. I'll leave right away."

He hung up, but I felt like something was off. Bradley had people calling him all day long. Why would he leave his phone in his pocket and ignore his messages? I tried to push the thought aside. Tomorrow was Olivia's birthday party, a day I'd been working hard to plan for months. We could have a talk after that. Maybe even take our little reconnecting trip away sooner rather than later. It would work out. I'd been in love with Bradley Sutton ever since I was sixteen years old. We'd been voted Most Likely To Get Married and Live Happily Ever After in high school. We had too much history, too much of everything invested for us to be in trouble.

Still. I took another sip of wine, then called my best friend.

"Everything okay?" asked Megan.

"I think so," I said. "I'm really stressed about everything going well at the birthday party tomorrow. I've been planning it forever. I just have visions of the cake falling on the ground or everyone getting food poisoning or something."

"Relax," said Megan. "It'll be fine! It's just a kid's party, not the Royal Wedding. Hey, want to come over? Ashley and Becca were going to come too. We were thinking of going out to see a band play downtown."

"Hmm, I guess I could leave the goldfish in charge of Henry and Olivia for a few hours," I joked.

"Juuuules," Megan groaned. "I meant when Bradley finally gets home! Get out a little bit and relax. It would do you good."

I actually considered it- going upstairs right away to shower and change into something other than yoga pants and a tank top, putting on makeup, doing my hair, feeling beautiful- and waiting for Bradley to come home so I could breeze out past him. But then I remembered the goody bags that needed filling and the balloons that had to be blown up, and I wanted to connect with Bradley in some way as well. Maybe we could find a good show on Netflix and sit in front of it together while we filled the goody bags and blew up balloons until we got light headed, then have impromptu sex on the couch. It had been a while since something like that had happened.

"I've got to pass, I think," I said. "Birthday party stuff and I need to talk to Bradley."

"Well, okay," said Megan. "Offer's always on the table, you know. If he gets home soon you can always leave him on birthday party prep duty and come join us."

"Thanks," I said. "I'll let you know, okay?"

"Sure thing, girl," said Megan, and we hung up. I picked up my glass of wine and the bag of balloons that needed attention, and headed into the living room to wait for my husband.

# Chapter Two

I woke up on Saturday morning feeling hungover and exhausted. I'd drunk too much wine last night and the last thing I felt like doing right now was playing host to a children's birthday party. I wanted to drink a big glass of water and go back to bed for another hour or two.

Bradley had finally come home about an hour after I'd called him. He said he'd been tying up loose ends at the office before his golf "meeting" on Saturday morning. I'd tried my hardest and met him at the door in my robe with a glass of wine and 16 empty good bags that needed filling. He'd brushed me off and said that he was beat and just wanted to get some sleep because he had to be up early tomorrow morning to go golfing. We'd argued; didn't he care that tomorrow was his baby girl's birthday party? Of course he cared, he'd said, but if I was going to be going around planning elaborate birthday parties someone needed to earn the money to pay for it all.

I'd ended up making my way through the bottle of wine while I blew up balloons and filled the goody bags all by myself.

"Mommy. Mommy."

I opened my eyes to see Olivia standing next to my bed. She was wearing her pajamas with her princess crown and a huge smile. "What is it, honey?" I croaked out. I sat up and cleared my throat. "I mean, good morning, Olivia! Happy birthday!"

"Is today my birthday party?" she asked.

"It is!"

"I gonna be a princess today?"

"You sure are, sweetheart," I said.

"Is Daddy coming to my party?"

"Of course he is," I said. Under the covers, I gave Bradley a little kick. He was still lying with his head under the blankets. "Aren't you, dear?"

Bradley let out a kind of low moan that sounded like the death throes of a large dinosaur. I checked the clock beside the bed. Six-fifteen.

I sighed. When we were younger, weekends used to mean sleeping in. Kids didn't understand that concept, so up I got. Downstairs, I poured Olivia a bowl of cereal and turned on cartoons for her while I brewed myself an extra-large cup of coffee. I thought about texting Megan or my mom, but then I remembered that, like normal people without small children, they were probably sleeping in on Saturday morning.

Around seven Henry came downstairs, followed by Bradley. He actually helped me set out some folding chairs and tables in the backyard before disappearing back upstairs to change and get ready for his golf meeting.

"Do you really have to go, Daddy?" asked Olivia.

"Sorry, honey," Bradley apologized. "It won't be long. I've just got to meet some men and talk to them for a little while. I'll be back for your party."

"Promise?" she asked.

"I promise," he said. He gave her a kiss on the head, and hugged Henry, and then came over to me. "Sorry about the timing of this, Jules. I completely forgot Olivia's party was this morning when I agreed to go. You know how it is. It would look really bad for me if I backed out of this."

"You don't need to convince me," I told him. "I can hold things down here if this is what you need to do. I'm sorry we argued last night. We all appreciate how hard you work to take care of our family."

Maybe I was imagining things, but the expression on Bradley's face suddenly looked extremely pained. It was fleeting, though, and a minute later he was kissing me on the cheek. "Thanks, Jules," he said. "I love you all. I have a great family." With a wave, he was out the door.

Now that I was on my own, I called my mom and begged her to come over and watch the kids so I could decorate for the party. I knew Megan, Ashley, and Becca would be tired from their night out last night, and although they loved Henry and Olivia I knew they weren't always super comfortable around kids.

My parents both showed up half an hour later, bringing two kinds of pasta salad with them. "Just stick the bowls in the fridge," I directed, "and keep the kids out of the backyard."

"I can give you some help with set up," my mom offered. "Your father will hang out with the kids inside."

"Sure!" said my dad.

"Mom, I want to play golf outside," said Henry. "Just like Daddy does."

"Another time, Henry," I said, frazzled. "Go into the other room with Grandpa and you guys can play for a while. Grandma and I have work to do."

With my dad and the kids safely in the playroom doing some coloring, my mom and I went in to Bradley's balloon filled study to gather the balloons and tie them in to bunches. "It's too bad Bradley couldn't be here and help you get things set up," said my mom. "What did he have to do this morning, again?"

"Some golf thing," I told her. "I guess there are people in town from another branch and they all had to go golfing together this morning, or something."

"He sure works hard," my mom said carefully.

"I know," I said. "He works really hard to give Henry, Olivia, and I a comfortable lifestyle." My mom didn't reply to that, and I kicked myself. I'd spoken without thinking. Growing up, my parents worked so hard to keep my brother Josh and I fed and clothed with a roof over our heads. A birthday party like the one I'd planned for Olivia was far more elaborate than anything my parents had been able to give us.

My mom and I worked for almost an hour and a half constructing an intricate balloon arch that lead to the backyard, setting out food on the patio, and setting up an area in the backyard where Olivia's preschool classmates could run around and play. Bradley was due to arrive back home half an hour before the party started. At fifteen minutes before the party was supposed to start, he still hadn't come home. I couldn't wait any longer and told Henry and Olivia that it was time to get changed into their party clothes.

"Isn't Bradley supposed to be coming back soon?" asked my dad.

"Yes," I said, staring at my phone. I willed it to ring. Should I call? I'd called last night. I didn't want to embarrass him in front of his coworkers.

Dad waited to see if I was going to say anything else, but when I didn't he just offered to turn on the barbecue. "If Bradley's not back in time I can be in charge of grilling the burgers," he offered.

"Oh, thank you, Dad," I said, relieved. "I'm just going to- I think I'm going to call him and see when he expects to be home. It would be great if you could turn the grill on."

With Dad outside turning on the grill and Mom upstairs helping Olivia in to her party dress, I sat down at the kitchen table and called my husband. It rang three times, and I had almost given up and figured I'd be getting voicemail again when he picked up.

"Bradley! Where are you? Olivia's party starts in fifteen minutes. You're supposed to be here already. My dad has already said he'll take over grilling if you can't handle getting here on time."

Bradley sounded annoyed and only mildly apologetic. "Look, Julia, I'm sorry. There's not a lot I can do about it. Car trouble. I might be calling triple-A. I'll get there as soon as I can. Goodbye." And with that, he hung up.

I laid my phone on the kitchen table and stared at it silently. What was going on? Why had my husband spoken to me like that? Against my will, tears filled my eyes. I couldn't cry, not now, not right before my daughter's birthday party.

The back door opened. "Hello?"

I'd never been so happy to hear my best friend's voice before. "Megan!" I yelled. "In the kitchen!"

She came through the doorway, holding her platter of brownies. She looked great- well rested and not at all hungover. Lucky girl. When she saw me sitting at the table, she immediately set down her brownies and came over to give me a hug. "Oh, girl," she said. "What's going on?"

I couldn't bring myself to look her in the eyes, so I just focused on my phone. "Bradley's not going to be able to make it," I said in as neutral a tone of voice as I could manage. "He had some car trouble and he's going to miss the party. The start of it, at least. Livvie's going to be crushed."

"Wait, what?" Megan sat down next to me. "He's not _coming_? Why isn't he here _now_?"

"He had some golf thing this morning," I said. "Some golf meeting thing. He said he'd be back in time, half an hour before the party started, but I guess he had car trouble. He's going to try and make it back as fast as he can," I added, not quite sure why I was defending my husband.

"Huh," said Megan. "Okay, we can do this, right? Everything's set up?"

"Yeah, my parents came over this morning and my mom helped set up while my dad hung out with the kids," I admitted. "I don't need his help for anything, just...you know. It's Olivia's birthday party. He should be here! I'm going to have to explain to everybody who comes where he is." I buried my face in my hands.

"Jules, don't even worry about it," said Megan. "You go upstairs and get changed. Then pour yourself a big glass of wine and go out to the backyard with Olivia and show her the party setup. I will stand by the front door and greet everyone and tell them Bradley will be joining us late. Okay?"

I opened my mouth to protest, to say that I could do it- that I could do everything, handle everything by myself like it seemed I always did around the house these days- but Megan shook her head and pointed towards the stairs. "Jules. Go change."

So I did. "Thanks, Meg," I said, but she shrugged and went to take up her position at the door.

I'd never been so grateful to have such good friends. Maybe we were in a different life stages right now, and even if she said she did, I knew she didn't fully understand why I couldn't just get a babysitter. And go hang out with the girls as much as I used to, but she was there for me when I needed her to be. That was more than you could say for Bradley right now, at least.

I showered quickly and blow dried my hair, put on a little bit of makeup, and threw on a maxi dress and sandals before looking in the mirror and deciding I looked presentable enough. I swung by Olivia's bedroom to pick her up and take her downstairs. She was in her party dress, with her princess crown perched on top of her wild mane of curls. "Is my party ready, Mommy?" she asked.

"It is," I told her. "We're going to go downstairs and see it. Grandma and I worked hard to set everything up. Now, Livvie, Daddy's not here right now-"

The instant the words came out of my mouth, Olivia looked at me and her face fell. I felt terrible. She had always been a bit of a daddy's girl, and she looked absolutely heartbroken. "Daddy not here, why not?"

I did my best to cover for Bradley, again. "Well, you know he had to have a meeting with some men this morning. His car is having trouble starting, so he's calling someone to come and fix it. As soon as it's fixed, he's going to hurry home to see you because he really doesn't want to miss your super cool birthday party."

Thankfully, Olivia accepted my explanation without any fuss, and we all went downstairs together. I covered her eyes as we stepped out the back doors on to the patio, and when she opened her eyes and saw the backyard- the balloon arch, the table covered in food, the chairs and tables set up for guests to eat at, another table covered in party favors- her eyes lit up. "Oh, Mommy, I love it!" she shrieked, and ran around in excited circles looking at everything.

I sat down in a chair and watched her, worn out from the busy morning I'd had. It was worth it. It had been a lot of work and stress and I was still worried about Bradley making it home in time, but it was worth it.

Ashley and Becca showed up then- Ashley was wearing big sunglasses and her voice sounded a little creaky for 11am, but I was happy to see them anyway. "What's this about Bradley ditching you?" she asked, ignoring my hello.

"Ash!" exclaimed Becca. "Geez. You can't just start in like that. The party looks great, Julia," she said to me. "The kids look like they love it. I would've gone nuts for this when I was a kid. Didn't our mothers just take us to the bowling alley with a Dairy Queen ice cream cake or something?"

"Yes, yes, food looks great, decorations are great, blah blah blah," said Ashley. "Now. Bradley. Where did he go? Why isn't he here? Megan just said he couldn't make it."

"He got stuck at a golf meeting thing this morning," I said. "Another branch was visiting and he had to go with them, or something. And then he had car trouble. He'll be here soon," I added with as much confidence as I could muster.

"That's so weird. That's not like him at all," said Becca. Like me, the girls had known him since high school. "He's always been such a family person."

"He's been working really hard lately," I found myself saying again. Why did I keep defending him when he hadn't sounded upset about missing Olivia's party at all? "He's been working really hard- we have the new house, we're supposed to take a vacation together this summer, that kind of thing."

"It takes pretty much zero effort to go to your daughter's birthday party, at your house, on the weekend," said Ashley. "All he had to do was walk outside."

"He couldn't get out of the work thing," I repeated myself. "Anyway. Let's just forget about it and enjoy the party."

Ashley seemed annoyed to have her gossiping thwarted, but I just couldn't bear to sit there and talk about why my husband wasn't there. I eventually got up and circulated around the party a bit talking to everyone, and at noon people began to eat. I got a text from Bradley saying that he was headed home and should be there soon.

_How soon?_ I typed. _Everyone is eating now. Cake will be after people finish up eating. Liv will want to wait for you._

_Half an hour I'd say_ , he replied.

_Half an hour???? The party ends at one and we still have to do presents_ _._

Sorry. It is what it is. Car can't fly.

That made me stop and think. How was he texting if he was driving?

Ok. Put your phone away and don't text while you're driving. Come home safely and catch the end of the party. See you soon. Love you.

Eleven minutes passed before I got a reply. _I'm using talk to text. See you soon. Give Liv a kiss from me._

The text exchange left me with a bad feeling in my stomach, but I tried to ignore it and enjoy my daughter's birthday party. I tried to encourage people to spend as long as possible eating, but Olivia was begging for her cake and soon there were fourteen other preschoolers shrieking for cake too. "Don't you want to wait for Daddy to blow your candles out?" I asked Olivia.

"NO," she said, and a dark look crossed her sunny face. "I just want my cake right now."

I relented, and went in to the kitchen to get the cake ready. I was mad at him now, too. What was going on? He wouldn't have dreamed of missing a birthday party a few years ago. In fact, he used to take personal days off work if one of the kids' birthdays fell on a weekday, so we could all spend the day together doing fun family activities. Over the last few months, ever since he'd been promoted and all kinds of new responsibilities at work, I was seeing a whole new side to my husband.

Glumly, I stuck a birthday candle shaped like the number four on top of the cake and lit it. My parents had gathered everyone on the patio to watch the birthday girl blow out the candles, and Megan opened the back door for me. As soon as I stepped outside, I used every bit of effort I could muster and plastered the biggest, happiest smile in the world on my face.

"Happy birthday to you," I started to sing, and the rest of the guests picked up the rest of the song. I carried the cake over and set it down gently on the table in front of my daughter. "Happy birthday, dear Olivia, happy birthday to you!"

Olivia took a deep breath. She closed her eyes theatrically, and with a huge puff blew out her candles.

"Good girl!" said my mom. "What did you wish for?"

Olivia looked down at the ground. "I wish my daddy was here," she whispered. My heart broke in a million pieces for her. Where was he?

# Chapter Three

Bradley strolled in while everyone was eating cake, flashing his charming smile and slapping my father on the back. Olivia immediately forgave him for being late and ran over to give him a cake-covered hug. I tried to find a quiet moment to talk to Bradley discreetly, but he always seemed to be somewhere else when I went to look for him.

Then the party was over, and there was cleanup, and my parents hung around for a while, and then it was dinnertime and we called for delivery, and then there was bath and stories and pajamas and kissing the kids goodnight, and then finally, finally Bradley and I were alone and could sit down together and talk.

"So," I said, pouring myself a glass of wine as we stood in the kitchen, "what exactly was wrong with the car? How much is it going to cost to fix it?"

"Don't worry about that," said Bradley.

"But-"

"No, I mean it, don't worry," he said. He sat down heavily at the table. "Can you sit down with me, Julia?"

Something was wrong. All of my instincts were tingling as I sat down across from him. Julia? He almost never called me Julia unless it was a hugely momentous occasion. And he looked too upset to be sharing the news of a promotion, or- oh, no, he hadn't lost his job, had he? Suddenly I felt sick. What if he'd been fired this morning? That was it. He'd been fired and had been too upset to come home right away, so he'd made up the story about the car. He'd had to come back to see the show of excess in his backyard. Birthday parties like that were something we couldn't afford anymore. I could go back to work at a daycare again. We could sit down and update his resume together. I'd start clipping coupons and only buy groceries on sale. We could-

"There's not easy way to say this, so I'm just going to say it," said Bradley. "I think that we've both noticed that things have been rough between us for a while now. The thing is- I've met someone else."

I didn't understand what he was saying at first. Had he met someone else who could offer him a new job?

Bradley was watching me closely. "Julia, did you hear me? I've met someone else. I didn't mean to- I didn't set out to do it, but I've fallen in love with her."

There was a rushing in my ears. It did not make sense. Bradley, and someone else? No. He'd been in love with me since we were sixteen years old. We had our old prom photo framed on the mantle, not far away from our wedding picture. When we had graduated high school, he'd given me a promise ring and told me he'd love me forever. How could that boy I'd fallen in love with have turned into this man sitting across the table from me, telling me he'd met someone else?

"No," I said flatly. "I don't believe it."

He looked taken aback. "What do you mean?"

"Fourteen years, Bradley! That's how long we've been together. You don't just meet some floozy at the bar or whatever and decide you're in love with her after a few days."

"That's not how it happened," said my husband. "It was just- well, you work with someone every day, you get close to them...it was hard to talk to you about work stuff. You changed. All you cared about was your photography, or trying to get Henry into the same karate class as his friends, or baking the best holiday treats for Olivia's preschool class- there was nothing to talk about anymore, you turned into someone else."

I bristled. "Well, God forbid I actually care to spend time raising our children," I said sarcastically. "I'm so sorry that the time I spent caring for our kids made you want to run elsewhere to get it. Those nights you worked late- you were fucking that slut while I stayed home feeding our kids and tucking them into bed, weren't you? God!" I pushed myself away from the table in disgust. "Who _are_ you, anyway? Who did I even marry?"

"It's not like that!" he protested. "I haven't...done anything about it. I just know I love her and to stay married to you would be living a lie. I can't do that. It's not fair to you, to me, to the kids."

"What's her name?" I asked. "Tell me her name. Have I met her? Has she been here?"

"You don't know her," he said quickly. "You might have said hello to her at the office Christmas party, I don't know. Nothing had started then. It wasn't until we worked on the big Fleischman project together this winter and started spending time together..."

"What's her name?" I repeated. "God, it's not your secretary, is it? Because that would be too much, really."

"No, it's not her," said Bradley. He hesitated, then said quickly, "Her name is Nikki. Nicole Wilson."

"And does she feel the same way?"

Bradley looked down. "Look, Julia, I know this is hard. It's not what I would have chosen, but it just happened. I think we should get a divorce."

I actually staggered backwards and had to grab on to the wall for balance. At least it could offer me some unwavering support. "Are you crazy?" I whispered. "A divorce? We can't do that to the kids! I'm sorry you're having a midlife crisis, Bradley, but you have two children to think of. You can't just throw your family away because some girl at the office suddenly understands you. Look, I know our marriage has stalled a bit. I really wanted us to have a chance to get away this summer together, to reconnect...maybe go to Chicago for a weekend. Or even a cruise or something like that. Just get away, the two of us. Counseling, maybe we can try that. I'll do some research tomorrow and see if I can find someone, we can find ways to start communicating better. Fourteen years, Bradley! We've been together that long. Almost eight years of marriage. You can't just throw that away."

"Look, I'm sorry, Jules," he said softly. "But I wouldn't have said anything if I didn't know it was what I wanted. I've been thinking about this for a while now."

He just had to twist that knife in my chest a bit, didn't he?

"We can still do counseling," he offered. "With the kids, to get them used to the idea. It'll be tough for all of us, but we'll help them through it."

I just stared at him. Who was this man I'd married?

Bradley got nervous when I didn't say anything. "What's wrong?" he asked. "I mean, I'm sorry, Julia, I know this is a shock. But just- I'm just not happy."

"Then tell me," I said. "Tell me you're not happy and we'll fix whatever is broken. I know there are some things we can work on. Please, for the kids. Remember how happy we were? We can get there again, I know we can." I could feel the tears about to spill down my cheeks and I ducked my head down, embarrassed.

"It's not going to happen like that," said Bradley. "I'll- look, I'll give you whatever you want. We can do this amicably. I've been thinking about our separation- you can keep the house, okay? I'll get an apartment in the city at first. You'll have to go back to work eventually but I'll give you some money to help out so the kids don't have to go without. I'm trying not to be a jerk about this, honestly, Julia. I just- I just don't want to live a lie anymore. And I'm in love with someone else. I don't love you the way I love her. Maybe we were too young, maybe we never had the chance to really get out there and see what else was out there- I don't know. But I'm going to be filing for divorce."

My body was shaking. Was this what shock felt like? I considered throwing a chair at his head, flipping the table over, taking the wine glass and smashing it on the floor. My hands itched to throw something (preferably at Bradley), but then I remembered Henry and Olivia asleep upstairs- waking them by throwing a chair at their father, and having to explain, and calm them down, when I really just wanted to scream and cry.

"Fine," I hissed. "Go to hell, and take her with you."

I turned and made a mad dash for the door, grabbing my keys and purse off the side table as I went. I held my breath until I was safely buckled up in my minivan, in the garage. I rested my forehead on the steering wheel for a minute and let out a sob. How could he do this?

Out of the corner of my eye I could see the door out to the garage start to open. I wasn't going to let him catch me like this. I hit the garage door opened button, turned up the radio as loud as it would go, and peeled out of the driveway as fast as I could. There was only one place I knew I could safely go.

# Chapter Four

When I showed up on her doorstep in tears, Megan didn't understand at first.

"What?" she asked dumbfounded. "He said what to you? No. Are you sure?"

"He was pretty fucking clear," was all I could say, as I pushed past her inside.

Megan followed me down the hall to her living room. "But- but- you guys have been together for ages!"

"You don't need to tell _me_ that," I said. I threw myself down on her couch and buried my head in my hands.

"Hang on," said Megan. "I'm getting provisions." She went in to the kitchen and I could hear her slamming cupboard door, moving things around, and the ping of her phone as she received texts. I didn't even care who she told at that moment. All I could think about was that my life was over. My happy family- shattered. Everything I thought I knew about my husband was a lie. He wasn't who I had married. Maybe we had been too young when we'd first married, but we had been so in love! It had been bliss for the first few years. Maybe he had changed. Or maybe I had. Maybe we both had. Maybe-

"I hope you don't mind, I asked Courtney and Becca to come over," said Megan. She set down a bottle of wine and two glasses on the coffee table. "I don't have any ice cream in the freezer and this is the only bottle I have on hand so they're going to pick more up on their way over."

"I don't need that," I protested weakly.

"Shut up, yes you do," said Megan. She poured wine into one of the glasses, filling it almost all the way up. I gave a little yelp and made a 'that's enough' motion, but it was almost completely full when she handed it to me. "Drink up."

Numbly, I accepted the glass and leaned back into her sofa cushions. "God, you are so lucky," I said, looking around. "You have your own place. You can do whatever you want whenever you want. If you want to sleep in on the weekend, you can! You don't have to make sure people have clean clothes for school and lunches packed and all that. You can just do you."

"You need a break, girl," said Megan. "You need to just get away."

"I can't," I said. "I can't just leave Henry and Olivia; especially after Bradley tells them he's divorcing me...they'll think I'm leaving them. I have a photo shoot lined up for next week. I can't just take off a moment's notice."

"Yeah, I don't mean leave everything and go to the airport tomorrow," said Megan. "But seriously. You need a trip away. Just forget him! You were planning to go away with him anyway later this summer, just go by yourself instead. Or we'll take a girls trip. Blow off some steam. Light your wedding pictures on fire."

"We can't do that," I said, horrified.

"Why not? It'll be cathartic," said Megan. "We can have a bonfire on a beach somewhere. Throw all his shit on the fire. Maybe we could go to New Orleans. Or Miami. Or, like, the Virgin Islands or somewhere. No, I'm serious. I really think we should do a trip somewhere. What do you think? Vegas, that's what we should do!"

Just then Ashley and Becca showed up, laden down with shopping bags full of ice cream and cookies and chocolate and wine. "Oh, Jules, I'm so sorry," said Becca as soon as they came in. She dropped her bags on the floor and crossed the room to give me a hug. "I know you felt something was a little bit off, but I never imagined he could do something like this to you. What an absolute jerk!"

Ashley pulled a bottle of wine out of a shopping bag and picked up a wine glass from one of Megan's side tables. "Can I just say something?" she asked, pouring herself a big glass. "I've never liked that asshole. No, I'm serious. I've never, ever liked him. He set off my creep-o-meter. Even when we were in high school, he had this air to him that he thought he was so much better than everyone else and that he was the specialist snowflake there ever was. Everything was always about him. Remember when you got the chance to travel to Washington DC for that public speaking competition? Remember? He would go on about how proud he was of you, but you'd miss his final soccer game and that made him sad. Remember that? He never asked you to stay home but made you feel so guilty that you decided to not go on your own. He manipulated you into not going! He wasn't even any good at soccer, either, even though he talked about it like he was. He's always cared about himself more than anybody else. No, I have never liked him." She shook her head firmly. "I have always kept my mouth shut because I love _you_ , Jules, but believe me when I say this is probably going to be the best thing that ever happened to you."

I had to look down before I started to cry again. I didn't want to hear that, even if there was a slight ring of truth to some of the things Ashley was saying. It was true; he had gotten so upset that I would miss his final soccer game of his high school career to go to a public speaking competition in Washington DC. I'd never been one for joining clubs and activities, but I liked the confidence I got from making speeches. I'd felt on top of the world when I found out I'd qualified for that event, but in the end I'd chosen to be with Bradley. I remembered how he'd picked me up on the soccer field and kissed me after our team had won the championship. Back then, to my eighteen-year-old self, that kiss had been worth the competition I'd given up. Now I couldn't help but wonder what the experience in Washington DC could have done for me, but it still hurt to hear Ashley say those things about him. I was torn between wanting to defend him and picking up my pitchfork to go after him as well.

"Ash. Really," said Becca. She sat down next to me with her arm across my back and gave Ashley a dirty look. "Now's not the time for that. Julia, we care about you and we're so upset that he did this to you."

"He's a piece of shit," said Ashley definitively.

"We were just talking about how Julia needs to take a break," said Megan, attempting to steer the conversation away from what a piece of shit my husband was. I hadn't even told them about Nikki yet. "A girls trip is in order. Where to? New Orleans, Miami, Vegas, Virgin Islands? Somewhere else?"

"Not the Virgin Islands," I protested. "I could maybe do a weekend away. Somewhere close."

"Sure, when I want to cut loose and have a good time with my girlfriends after my dipshit husband announces he's divorcing me, Pittsburgh is exactly where I think of," said Ashley sarcastically. "Go big or go home, Jules.

"I don't know," I hedged.

"It doesn't have to be the Virgin Islands," said Megan. "I was just suggesting, you know, somewhere warm and sunny where we could lie on a beach and drink cocktails all day. Somewhere relaxing."

"She doesn't need to relax," argued Ashley. "She needs to drink her face off and dance on a table somewhere, while looking smoking hot in a brand new dress."

"It might be nice to get a change of scenery for a bit," said Becca, her arm still around me. "What do you think, Jules?"

Ashley was already refilling her wine glass. "I say we stop by her house and key his car," she announced.

"Ashley, cool it," said Becca. "We don't need to get arrested. Then we really couldn't go on vacation. I know he's a jerk, but it's not like he cheated on her."

I took a deep breath. "Actually-"

"Oh, hell no," said Ashley.

Megan's mouth gaped open. "He cheated on you?"

"He swears he didn't," I said hurriedly. "He swears nothing physical happened. But he told me he's in love with someone else. Some girl at work."

Becca gasped. "An emotional affair," she said. "When you start talking to someone else the way you might to your husband or wife, you can't stop thinking about them...it's almost worse than having sex, in some ways. Emotionally cheating. Oh, I can't believe he did that to you."

"I can," Ashley snarled into her wine glass. "You know what? We should find you someone else, too. You've been with this douchebag your whole life. You need to go out and have revenge sex with someone else."

"I can't," I said, overwhelmed. "I can't. Even with what he said, I don't hate him- I don't want to ruin his life- I don't want to sleep with someone else- I just want to wake up tomorrow and have this all be a dream."

"That's okay," Becca comforted me. "Guys, don't overwhelm her. She just found out hours ago! She's barely had time to process things. It's okay to feel like that," she added, speaking to me instead of about me this time. "It's okay to be in denial, or go through the grieving process, instead of going straight to revenge." She gave Ashley a pointed look.

"Well, I might go over and key his car then," said Ashley. "God, do I ever hate him now! What's her name?" she asked me.

I pressed my lips together, trying to keep it all in. It couldn't be real, could it? Just this morning, I'd been happily married and organizing my daughter's birthday party. Now I was crying into my glass of wine and listening to my friends plot out various revenge strategies. Sex with random men? Trips to Miami to drink my face off? Keying his car? I just wanted to wake up from this nightmare. If I said her name out loud, it would be real.

They were all looking at me, though. "Is it someone you know?" asked Megan gently. "Did he bring her around you?"

I shook my head slightly. "I might have met her at the office Christmas party. I don't really remember. He says it didn't start until later- January, February- when they worked on a project together."

"What's her name?" Ashley repeated. She pulled out her phone. "Tell me her name."

"Nikki," I whispered, so quietly that she asked me to repeat myself. "Nicole Wilson." There. It was out there.

"Is she from here?" asked Megan. "Did we go to high school with her? I don't remember her."

Ashley was furiously scrolling on her phone. "Um...give me a minute. Nikki Wilson. I think this is her. Oh, fuck him. He's Facebook friends with her. She liked a picture of your kids! I can't. Who does that? Oh, excellent, she's an idiot too. Her page is completely open." She started typing.

"What are you doing?" I asked her, alarmed. Ashley was on her third glass of wine at this point, and when she drank, she could go a little crazy. As if she couldn't go crazy enough on her own without alcohol helping her along.

"Just commenting on some of her pictures," said Ashley. "Calling her a slut. Homewrecker."

"Ashley!" I protested. "Don't. This girl is going to be- be my kids' stepmother or something." At that thought, I burst into tears again.

"You have to do something," said Ashley. "You cannot just sit back and let everything happen to you."

"But I want to take the high road," I sniffled.

"The high road?" Ashley rolled her eyes. "The high road is another word for being a doormat. You can't let him just go do whatever he wants while you sit there and wait for his lawyers to tell you how much you're going to get in child support. You need to do something. Okay, maybe you don't need to go out and have revenge sex with the first bathed man you see. But you need to do something. Megan is right. We need to take a vacation and get away from all this and just get your mind off things. Look, I can take time off anytime. I'm a self-employed real estate agent. As long as I don't have any showing booked, I can take off whenever. As long as it's a couple weeks out I'm clear. Becca, you finish school in a week or two too, don't you?"

"Next week is our last week," confirmed Becca, who taught third grade. "We have a couple days of meetings after that, but then I'm free too."

We all turned to look at Megan, who worked in accounting. "I'll have to request the time off," she said. "I'll have to see Monday at work what dates I'm free."

I almost told them not to bother. I almost told them it was okay, I'd just stay home and cry under the covers all day while Henry and Olivia were at my parents'. But just as I was opening my mouth to tell them no, don't bother, a very small "okay" popped out instead.

# Chapter Five

The first step was for Megan to book the days off. We picked a week at the end of June, a month away. Once she'd confirmed that she could get the time off, I called my parents and asked if they could watch Henry and Olivia while I went on a trip with the girls.

"Of course, honey," said my mom sympathetically. "You need some time to get away and have fun. We'll do our best to keep the kids busy. Where are you going?"

"Thanks," I said. "I think we're planning to go to Vegas. But also maybe a beach in Florida somewhere. Just somewhere we can go and not have to think about everything that's happening." I sighed. "I just- I never saw it coming, Mom, you know? I mean- things weren't perfect, nothing ever is. But I was happy, overall. I thought he was happy. We had our ups and downs and little fights, but no marriage is perfect, and I thought he was just preoccupied with being busy at work and adjusting to his new position. I figured things would calm down eventually- buying a house and moving is stressful, and once we got through that I figured that he'd get used to the new workload and the position, the kids would adjust, we could spend some time over the summer reconnecting...I just didn't see it coming at all."

"I'm so sorry, Julia," my mom sympathized. "I can't imagine what that's like. I don't know- from an outsider point of view, I've known Bradley a long time, and seen the two of you together for a long time. And I did think something changed. I don't know if you changed on your own, or if he changed and that made you change, or what, but when I looked back at who you are today, thirty years old, and when I look at who you were in high school...well, it's two different people."

"Of course it is, Mom," I said. "I was a teenager with no responsibilities back then. Now I'm a mom, I have a mortgage and a car payment and life insurance and a home to manage and kids to raise and a home business to try and run- of course I've changed."

"You didn't change together, though," said Mom. "That's what I meant. Of course who you are as a person evolves as you get older, but if you're lucky, you both change into people who still love each other and get along. You turned into someone, he turned into someone else. And those people might not get along as well as Julia and Bradley of eight years ago did."

I couldn't quite hear the 'I told you not to get married so young' in there, but I thought it was in the background. My parents had warned me, after all, not to marry so young- live on your own for a year, get the feeling of independence, my mother had urged me. Don't go straight from your parents' home to a man's. I hadn't listened because I was young and in love.

"Well," I said, "thanks. I think."

"I don't mean 'I told you so'," said Mom hurriedly. "Just- I've watched you lose your sparkle over the past while. I know it sounds cheesy but it's true. Just seemed like life- love- was getting you down. You weren't the same girl I remembered. So if you need to take a break from all this mess and go out there and find that sparkle, or get in touch with yourself and remember who you are- not as a mother, not as a wife, but who Julia is- you go out there and do it."

My mother's words echoed in my head for the next few days. She was right, of course- our mothers always are, aren't they? I could only vaguely remember what life was like before babies and husbands. There was joy in being a mother, but there was so much drudgery too. I needed this break. I needed to remember who I was.

Bradley hadn't moved out, but he was sleeping on the couch for the time being. I was trying my hardest to put on a good face for the kids and be as friendly and normal around him as I could, but when it was just the two of us I could hardly bear to even look at him. Ironically, now that he'd told me he wanted a divorce so he could be with this Nikki girl, he was coming home early more often and spending more time at home. The day after I'd called my mom, though, I waited until Henry and Olivia were in bed. Then I spoke in the most flat, unemotional voice I could manage.

"By the way, since we won't be going away on vacation together while the kids are at my parents' house, I'm going on a trip with the girls at the end of the month. Just so you know."

He looked up from the TV, startled. "Huh? What? No, you can't do that- who's going to care for the kids?"

I turned away so I wasn't facing him when I spoke. I concentrated on using the most even tone I could. "Like I said, they'll be with my parents. You won't have to lift a finger. In fact, it will make things even easier for you."

"Why, though? Why do you need a vacation?"

"Maybe," I said, "because my husband of eight years and partner of fourteen years just told me he is in love with someone else and no longer wishes to be part of my family."

"Knock off the melodramatics, Julia," he said, turning back to the TV. "You wouldn't just up and leave on vacation."

"Oh no? What makes you say that?"

"Because, that's not who you are. You won't just book a trip at random and go. You'll spend two months looking at all of the online reviews and comparing prices and features of the different hotels and call me over every twenty minutes until I want to scream and just not go after all. You'll print out a packing list for everybody and hover around and make sure that we pack exactly how you want us to. When you finally get to wherever you're going, you'll have a schedule to stick to. _Relaxing by the pool will take place from ten to twelve on Tuesday morning_ ," he mimicked my voice. " _After that there's lunch, yoga class, and then scuba diving, followed by showering for dinner, dinner, and then drinks at the beach bar_. You don't know how to take a vacation and it is NOT RELAXING going away with you." He exhaled. "There's something I've wanted to say for, oh, ten years now?"

I wasn't sure what kind of reaction I was expecting from him, but he was pissing me off. He was probably expecting me to cry. Instead, I glared at him. "You don't think I'm going to be able to go away to relax?"

"I don't think, I know," he said.

"And I'm sure Nikki's idea of a perfect vacation involves closing her eyes and throwing darts at a map," I said sarcastically. "Followed by landing at the airport with no clear idea of where she's going to stay or what she's going to do."

"You know what?" said Bradley. "It is. And we've talked about time after time, the trips we want to take together. Close our eyes and spin the globe and go wherever our feet take us. Hop on a plane with nothing but one suitcase and show up in a new city, pick out a hotel on the fly, just wander the city for hours and get lost together."

I closed my eyes and counted to ten, picturing my husband with this Nikki slut wandering hand-in-hand through some strange Middle Eastern bazaar, or Amazonian rainforest, or old European city. I shuddered. "Well," I said, as calmly as I could, "it sounds like you two will be very happy together."

Bradley rolled his eyes. "Cut the martyr crap out, Julia. You think it makes you look classy, like you're taking the high road? It makes you look pathetic." He shook his head in disgust.

Without another word, I stomped out of the room like a petulant teenager. I almost slammed the bedroom door, before I remembered my two kids were sleeping down the hall and I didn't want to wake them up. Instead, I had an idea. In the top drawer of the bureau was where Bradley kept his backup credit card. I pulled it out and stared at it for a good long while, turning it around and around in my hands. I memorized the number on the front and the three digit security code on the back. I looked at the expiration date and the name embossed on the front. Bradley M Sutton. My throat tightened. He was down there, living a weird parallel existence with me until we sorted out our separation, and he didn't care about me anymore.

I took a picture of the front and back of the card with my phone, just in case I had trouble remembering the number.

Then I sat down and started searching for flights on my phone. I'd book them right now, before I changed my mind. He was going to regret this. I was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and he'd be paying for this for years. I bought four return plane tickets, one for me and one for each of the girls. Then I called Megan.

"Screw Vegas," I said. "And Miami. I just bought us all tickets to Paris."

Megan screamed so loudly when I told her that I had to hold the phone away from my ear. "Are you FREAKING kidding me? PARIS? And you bought us all tickets?"

"Bradley is going to be footing the bill for us," I said, glancing down at the credit card.

"Are you serious? Whoa. Why? Does he feel bad or something?"

"Something like that," I said. "Um- don't tell Ashley, she'll go nuts, but I took his credit card. Well, I didn't take the actual card, but I took a picture of it..." I trailed off.

"You know what? Asshole deserves whatever he gets," Megan declared. "Well, damn. Now we're going to have to go shopping."

"Save the shopping for Paris," I told her. "Bring along an empty suitcase."

# Chapter Six

The time sped by and before I knew it, our departure date had arrived. I kissed Henry and Olivia goodbye and dropped them off at my parents' house. Bradley swore he would not have Nikki over at our house while I was gone, but he also had not yet discovered the credit card charges, so I figured I should take precautions. First I hid all the extra toilet paper in Olivia's closet and piled stuffed animals on top so when the current roll ran out, he'd go crazy looking for the stockpile. I stripped the sheets off my former marital bed too. Bradley was still on the couch, and he was too lazy to find clean sheets and make up the bed. I'd been doing it for the past eight years of our marriage anyway. I wasn't even sure if he knew where the linen closet was in the new house. Then, while I was waiting for the taxi to come pick me up and take me to the airport, I changed the wifi password. I hesitated on that last one- was it too harsh? Bradley would die without wifi. And it might possibly drive him straight out of my house and in to Nikki's.

I decided I didn't care. He hadn't shown any signs of second thoughts. I'd made it clear to him that if he wanted to try and save our marriage I would call a marriage counselor right away, but he wasn't interested and I couldn't make him. It would take two people to make this marriage salvageable, and in the meantime I sure as hell was not going to have another woman in my home. When my taxi arrived, I got in without any second thoughts.

The flights that I'd booked were first to New York, and then straight to Paris. I stood in line waiting to check in, looking around to see if I could spot any of the girls. I was there early, but wanted to get checked in right away. I had my purse and a small carry-on bag, and then my big suitcase that was half empty for all of the clothes I'd be buying on Bradley's dime. Served him right.

Becca arrived a few minutes after me, followed by Megan, and they both joined me in line. We chattered excitedly while we waited for our turn.

"We should have done something like this ages ago," said Megan. "I can't believe it took a crisis like this to for us to decide to just go."

"I changed the wifi password before I left," I confessed. "And stripped the sheets off the bed and hid all the extra toilet paper. I think Bradley thinks that stuff just appears out of nowhere when we get low. I'm not even sure he knows where the linen closet is."

Becca gasped, then giggled. "Oh my gosh," she said. "That's awful yet hilarious at the same time."

"I know," I said. "I thought it might be too mean, especially the wifi password. I mean...I'd die without it, and he's worse than me. But then I thought about it, and..."

"...Telling your wife you're not in love with her anymore is way worse," Megan finished. "Dude can live without wifi for a couple weeks. It won't kill him. Maybe he'll spend his spare time doing a lot of meaningful self-reflection on what drove him to seek an emotional connection with someone other than his wife."

"He'll probably just go to Nikki's house," I sighed. "Whatever."

Ashley showed up minutes before we were called up to the counter to check in, and we handed over our suitcases to be weighed, tagged, and sent off to the baggage handlers. We were given our boarding passes and sent on our way to security where once again we waited in line to take off our shoes and belts and produce our Ziploc baggies of tiny hand cream for inspection. Once we'd made it through security, we walked through a maze of hallways, escalators, and moving sidewalks to find the right gate and waiting area. I started to head towards the hard plastic seats, but Ashley grabbed my arm.

"Are you crazy? There's a bar right over there! Let's go grab a drink!"

"It's not even nine in the morning," Becca protested.

"So I'll have a mimosa then. Come on! We're going on a girls' holiday! We should start it off with a drink. Oh come on, for me?"

So we all went over to the bar and let Ashley order for us while we plopped down in the bar stools. I checked my phone to see if there were any emergencies from my parents or if Bradley had discovered the wifi password changed, but I had no new messages.

Megan noticed my phone out. "Put that thing away, Jules," she advised. "You'll go crazy if you spend the whole time staring at it. Your mom and dad are great with Henry and Olivia. Your husband's an asshole and deserves a couple weeks without toilet paper or wifi. If they need to get in touch, they will! Just relax. You don't want to miss Paris because you're busy staring at your phone, do you?"

"You're right," I admitted. I slid the phone back in my handbag. "I'll do my best to stop checking."

Ashley came back with four mimosas for us all and passed them around. "Cheers!" she cried. "Here's to an amazing two weeks." We all clinked glasses and drank.

"I can't wait to go shopping," said Megan.

"I can't wait to check out the nightclubs and restaurants," said Ashley.

"I want to visit some museums," said Becca.

"Boooo-ring," teased Ashley. "You're such a teacher, Bec!"

"Well, you can't visit Paris and skip the Louvre!" Becca protested. "What are you looking forward to, Jules?"

I thought for a minute. I wanted to do all the things my friends had mentioned- some shopping, checking out some of the restaurants and maybe going to a club or two if I could find something to wear while we were out shopping, and doing a bit of sightseeing during the day as well.

"Julia wants to find a hot rich French guy and have revenge sex with him all over Paris," said Ashley.

"You totally should," Megan agreed.

I blushed hotly. "No! That's not it. I just want to get lost in the city, I think. I don't know, find some narrow little streets and wander down there and find a cute cafe to sit in with a coffee or a glass of wine and forget about everything going on at home. Just- escape."

Becca patted my knee sympathetically, but Ashley rolled her eyes. "We're going to get you drunk and find you a hottie European to hook up with, mark my words. Another one please," she hollered, waving her empty mimosa glass at the bartender.

By the time Becca, Megan, and I had finished our first drinks Ashley was polishing off her second. We left the bar and popped in to the departure lounge's convenience store, buying gum, water bottles, and magazines for the plane ride. I almost pulled out my phone again, but Megan snatched it out of my hands and turned it off for me. "You'll have to turn it off on the plane anyway," she told me. "Might as well do it now, right?"

"You're right," I admitted. I opened a magazine instead and read all about the latest Kardashian drama until our flight was announced for boarding.

"Ooooh, Paris, here we come!" Ashley sang as we lined up to show our boarding passes.

"Well, New York, then Paris, but who's counting really?" asked Becca.

The flight to New York was a shorter one, about an hour and a half. We were able to find our second departure gate without much trouble, and boarded not long after arriving. As we settled in to our seats I wished I'd sprung for first class tickets. Megan and I were sitting next to each other by a window, with Ashley and Becca across the aisle from us.

Megan settled back in to her seat. "I can't believe we're really doing this," she said. She looked at me. "You okay? You look kinda sick."

"I'm okay," I said. "I feel a little queasy. Not motion sickness queasy," I added quickly. "Just a general, wow, I'm about to leave my kids and fly over an ocean for the first time."

"You'll be fine," she reassured me.

"I hope so," I said. "Listen. Um, I feel like I should tell you something. I haven't said anything to Becca and Ash, but...well...know how I booked our flights and said we'd be doing some serious shopping and I'd pay for it all?"

"Yes..."

"Well...that wasn't entirely truthful."

Megan looked confused. "What do you mean?" she asked. "I mean, I can pay my own way of course, I don't mind, I have savings for vacation and all-"

"No, that's not what I meant," I interrupted her. "I meant, I'm not paying for this. Bradley is."

Her eyes widened. " _Bradley_ is? How'd you convince him to do that?"

"I didn't," I said. "I- well, I guess I can't show you because my phone is turned off, but I took a picture of his backup credit card. He said some really awful things to me and I got so mad, I just wanted him to feel the way I do. I wanted him to just get the rug pulled out from under him from nowhere, just a total shock he didn't see coming- I want him to know how I felt."

"Shut. Up." Megan's mouth gaped open. "I can't believe you had the guts to do that! Wow. I mean good for you, girl, but wow." She shook her head, then giggled. "Let's book a massive hotel suite and order all the room service. Should we tell Ashley and Becca?"

"We'll tell them later," I said.

"On the way home Bradley should upgrade us to first class," said Megan, looking down at the foot and a half of space between her seat and the seat in front.

"Bradley will definitely be doing that," I agreed.

When we landed in Paris, it was just past ten PM local time, but it felt like suppertime to our American-adjusted bodies. We got our passports stamped by immigration, collected our suitcases from the luggage carousel, and then stood around in a tight cluster.

"Soooo," said Becca hesitantly. "Where now? Do we have a hotel?"

"This is an adventure," I told her. "It came to my attention that any time I travel, I have to spend hours researching reviews and comparing prices and features, so I decided that this time everything we do, we're doing on a whim."

"You take the lead, then," said Ashley. "Which bridge shall we sleep under tonight?"

Immediately, I felt silly and a bit self-conscious. Maybe Ashley was right and Bradley had been wrong. Maybe planning everything in advance was the way to go. After all, here we were standing around in the Paris airport without a clue where to go. I didn't have the slightest idea what to do. Catch one of the trains I saw signs for? Or a cab? But where would we go?

Megan rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on, Ash. There has to be some kind of guest services guest that can help us find a hotel."

Relieved, I smiled at my best friend. "Guest services," I repeated. "Right, let's find them."

Between the four of us, we remembered enough vocabulary from high school French to figure out which direction we had to go. I was nervous that at this hour any desk would be closed for the night, but to my relief we found a guest services kiosk with a woman standing behind the counter.

"We'd like some help finding a hotel for the night," I said, speaking slowly but clearly.

"For how many nights?" she asked, in perfect but heavily accented English.

I looked at my friends. "Are we going to stay here the whole time? Or visit somewhere else?"

"Seat of your pants," said Ashley, swatting my on the butt.

"Five nights," I said decisively. We had flights back two weeks from now, but now that we were in Europe, who said we had to stay in Paris the whole time?

"And do you have a preference for the area?" the woman asked.

"We'd like a suite," Megan added. "The nicest one available. Actually, the most expensive hotel you can find."

The woman tapped away on her computer. "I have two adjoining suites available," she said. "The price will be one thousand four hundred euros per room per night. Will this be by credit card?"

I gulped. Holy shit. I couldn't do that, especially since I wasn't one hundred percent certain of the credit card's limit. I thought it was fifty thousand, but with a few nights in a hotel like that we'd max it out in no time- especially if we planned to do any shopping.

"Actually," I decided, "we don't need the most expensive hotel available. We'd just like a big penthouse or two adjoining suites in a very convenient area for shopping and sightseeing. We'd like to be able to walk just about everywhere."

The woman nodded briskly and tapped away at her computer again. "I have a nice hotel for you here. It is a smaller boutique hotel, but very luxurious. It is right here." She turned the computer screen around and tapped a spot on the map she'd pulled up. "Just off the Champs-Elysees. A very short distance to the Seine and views of the Eiffel Tower. Five hundred euros per room per night."

I could hear the appreciative sighs from my friends. I felt dazed myself. "We'll take it," I said authoritatively.

We all crammed together in a taxi to the hotel, giggling in the backseat. We arrived at the hotel and were greeted by a man who offered to take our bags upstairs to our room. The woman who checked us in offered us all a complimentary glass of champagne. "Is this your first time visiting Paris?" she asked. We nodded. "Bienvenue à Paris," she smiled. "Here I have a map of the city for you. This is our hotel." She circled a spot on the map. "You will find many things to do nearby. The Eiffel Tower is a very short walk away, and to arrive at the Champs-Elysees and many designer shops you will simply walk down the street in the opposite direction from the Tour Eiffel. If you have any questions or wish for directions we are happy to help you."

"Merci," we all said together, just like we were back in Madame Leblanc's sophomore French class again. We walked upstairs to our rooms in a daze. I still couldn't quite believe we were here.

"Is this real life?" asked Becca once we were alone in our suites. We stood in a small group by the door, gawking around us. There were two king size beds in each room, along with a small divan in one room and a table and chairs in the other. There was a balcony that joined the two rooms together, with a small table and chairs so we could sit outside and enjoy a drink.

"Ahhh," said Ashley, stepping out on to the balcony. "I can sit out here in the morning with a coffee, croissant, and a cigarette!"

"You don't smoke," said Becca.

"So I'll start," said Ashley. "Paris just seems to call for a cigarette!"

"Did you guys see the bathrooms?" asked Megan, poking her head in. "Come here!" We all crowded in. The tile was so polished that we could see our reflections in it. Each bathroom had a large corner Jacuzzi tub, along with a soaker shower, and a huge sink and vanity. There were baskets filled with complementary products- shampoo, conditioner, soaps, lotions, perfume, moisturizers.

Ashley had wandered in to the other adjoining room. "Free wine in there," she said. "Two bottles. So I'm not tired at all right now- are we going out or what?"

Megan looked at me. "Jules? What do you say?"

"Oh, let's not," interrupted Becca.

"Party pooper," Ashley grumbled.

"Sorry," said Becca. "But I'm kind of tired from travelling all day and I'd kind of like to just stay in. It's eleven-thirty here- we can drink and watch a movie or something. Then wake up tomorrow all rested and do some shopping or sightseeing and go out tomorrow night. Isn't that a better plan?"

"Yeah, sorry Ashley, but I'm beat too," Megan admitted. "Let's open those bottles of wine and find something good on TV."

"Jules?" Ashley asked me hopefully.

"I'm all in for tomorrow night," I told her. "We can go shopping tomorrow and find something to wear out. I'm pretty sure I have nothing nice enough to wear out in Paris, anyway. Tomorrow, Ash. We'll get dressed up and go to dinner and then find a spot for dancing.

Ashley made a face. "Well, okay," she said. "But I'm definitely drinking this wine!"

"Go for it. We can even order room service," I said. I took a deep breath. "Girls- this trip is on me. Or rather...on Bradley."

Ashley and Becca stared at me. "What?" they asked in unison.

"Um- well, it's going to be a surprise to him," I said. "But yup, he's going to pay for what he did to me, one way or another. I have his credit card."

An evil smile spread across Ashley's face. "Find the room service menu," she ordered. "Bradley is going to live to regret the day he screwed Julia over!"

# Chapter Seven

We stayed up until 2 am local time, drinking and laughing and making outrageous plans to take revenge on Bradley. It was only 8 pm to our bodies so I thought I might take a while to fall asleep, but it had been such a long day and the bed I collapsed in was so luxurious, I had fallen asleep within minutes.

When I woke up the next morning, it was eleven already. I jumped out of bed and shook Megan awake in the bed next to mine. "Megs!"

She rolled over and groaned. "What?"

"It's eleven! Come on, we've wasted almost half the day!"

Megan sat up in bed, yawning, while I grabbed the plush hotel robe from inside the wardrobe. After an amazing shower with some wonderful smelling, free bath products, I blow dried my hair. Then I opened my suitcase to try and choose an outfit for a day of shopping in Paris. I suspected that no matter what I chose I'd be easy to pick out as an American tourist, so instead I went for comfort and decided on a cute sundress with flat open toed sandals.

As Megan shuffled towards the shower, I opened the door that joined our room to where Becca and Ashley were sleeping. Becca was sitting on the bed straightening her hair.

"Ashley's out on the balcony," she nodded towards the door. "We were thinking we could go somewhere for something to eat, then do some shopping maybe? And since the Eiffel Tower is so close, we could go there too. Then dinner tonight and go to a club or something."

"Sure," I said. "I can't believe we slept half the day."

"Well, there's the time difference," Becca pointed out. "Anyway, we're on vacation, remember? If we want to sleep in, now's the time to do it."

"Right. Go with the flow. No schedules," I reminded myself.

I walked over to the balcony door and stepped outside. Ashley was sitting on a wrought iron chair with her legs pulled up, wearing oversized sunglasses and holding a cigarette. On the table next to her sat a coffee and a plate with a half-eaten croissant.

"Where did you get that?" I asked her, amazed. "How long have you been up?"

She shrugged. "An hour or two. Where'd I get what?"

"The cigarette- you don't smoke. the coffee, the croissant, and the sunglasses."

"Bought these online before we left," she said, gesturing to the sunglasses. "The coffee and croissant are room service. I went down to the front desk and got the cigarettes there. The girl handed them over like mints. This is France, I guess."

"You don't even smoke," I echoed Becca from last night.

"I've had like two puffs," she said. "It's just nice sitting on a balcony in Paris with a cigarette. If I tilt my head at this exact angle and don't move, I can see the Eiffel Tower between those two buildings."

"Where? Let me see!"

Ashley stood up and let me sit in her chair. I imitated the tilt of her head and caught a glimpse of the famous tower in the gap between two buildings. I sighed happily. "I'm so excited to finally be here," I said.

After Becca and Megan were ready, the four of us headed out towards the Champs-Elysees. Paris's biggest street stretched out before us just like I'd always imagined it. High fashion boutiques, fancy restaurants and cafes, and jewelry stores stretched out on both sides. The sidewalks were so wide they seemed even wider than the street itself. A line of impeccably pruned green trees separated the sidewalk from the street. We headed down one side of the street slowly, heading down towards the Arc de Triomphe. We stopped to look in the windows of some of the shops, but I felt so overwhelmed that I was sure a snooty Parisian shop assistant would laugh at me and escort me out if I dared to set foot in the door of Chanel or Dior.

When we reached the end of the street, we stopped at the massive traffic circle and took pictures of the Arc de Triomphe. "Do you want to climb to the top?" asked Becca hopefully.

"NO," said Ashley. "Let's walk down the other side of the street. I want to find something to wear out tonight."

"We'll do tourist stuff tomorrow, Becca," I promised her. We crossed the street and headed down in the other direction until finally Ashley dragged us in to a Louis Vuitton store. I felt like I had to whisper, like I was in a museum or something. The saleswoman ignored us at first until Megan pointed out a beautiful leather purse to me.

"You should get yourself something like that," she said. "Honestly, even if it's not to get back at Bradley, you could carry that bag every day."

"You think?" I asked her.

"Of course. Excuse me- um, _excusez-moi_..." Megan gestured to the saleswoman, who came over with a doubtful look on her face. "My friend would like to see this handbag, please."

The saleswoman took it out and handed it to me. I put it over my shoulder and looked in the mirror. It was a beautiful bag. The leather was heavy but soft to the touch, and the style was so classic I could use it for years to come. "I love it," I admitted.

"Three thousand euros," said the saleswoman.

The old, practical Julia winced at the price. That was a few mortgage payments, or a new dining room set to replace the one that had gotten scratched in the move! That was summer camp for Henry and horseback riding lessons for Olivia. But the new, go with the flow Julia who sometimes took time to do something nice for herself, looked in the mirror and saw a beautiful handbag. "I'll take it," I declared.

After the saleswoman had wrapped it up for me and I'd handed over Bradley's credit card, we decided to get something to eat. A cafe was a few doors down; it was a cute sidewalk café, so ordered sandwiches and wine. I couldn't stop sneaking glances down at my new handbag.

Lunch was expensive, but with Bradley footing the bill I was able to relax and enjoy the atmosphere of sitting on a sunny sidewalk on one of the most fashionable streets in the world, watching tourists and Parisians hurry by.

When lunch was over we continued down the Champs-Elysees, mostly window shopping but occasionally going inside a store. We came across a shopping arcade, where we discovered a store that sold dresses that would be great for going out tonight. It was almost like high school again, as the four of us crowded in to the tiny dressing rooms, trading dresses, going back for different sizes, ooh-ing and ahh-ing and sometimes shaking our heads until we had each found a dress we were happy with.

"I can't wait to wear this out tonight," said Ashley, as we left the store.

"Where do you guys want to go?" asked Megan. "For dinner and dancing, I mean."

"I could Google-" I started to say, but Megan shook her head.

"Remember, Jules? No planning. Just let what happens, happen."

"Agreed," said Ashley. "We can ask at the front desk of the hotel a good area to visit, but once we're there, we just follow our noses and find a great spot."

It was four o'clock by that time, and I knew the French wouldn't eat dinner until late, so when Becca asked if we could walk across the bridge down the street from our hotel to visit the Eiffel Tower, we all agreed. We stopped in at our hotel to stash our shopping bags in our rooms, and then walked across the bridge spanning the Seine.

The Eiffel Tower stood in the middle of a huge garden, and the lawns were covered in tourists. Some were big groups- school groups in matching t-shirts, or a busload of Japanese tourists crowding in for a group photo- and others were smaller...families, couples, young college age kids. For a minute I felt jealous of the college kids, getting out and travelling the world before a husband and family came along. I'd married Bradley right out of college and we'd had Henry right away. At the time it had felt so right, and we'd been so happy to start a family. I didn't regret having my son, but I couldn't help but wonder for the first time what my life might have been like if I hadn't stayed with Bradley.

The lineup to buy tickets to the top was long, but it passed quickly as we people-watched and chatted about tonight. Ashley kept bringing up revenge sex, but I brushed her off. We inched forward in line until it was finally our turn to be crammed into an elevator with about fifty other people. We rode a series of three elevators all the way to the top, where we squeezed our way through the crowd until we managed to get a spot at the railing to look out over Paris.

"Look! That's where we were," said Megan, pointing to the wide Champs-Elysees and Arc de Triomphe in the distance.

Becca shaded her eyes. "There's the Louvre," she pointed. "Can we go there tomorrow? And Notre-Dame?"

"I'll probably be sleeping off my hangover until noon," said Ashley.

"I'll go with you, Becca," I offered, since it seemed a sin to visit Paris and not see the Mona Lisa.

"I'll go too," said Megan. "As long as we're not leaving too early."

"Is nobody else going to have a crazy good time with me tonight?" Ashley asked, disappointed.

"Of course we are," I told her. "That's what we're here for, isn't it? Let loose, relax, have a little fun."

"A lot of fun," Ashley corrected me.

"Museums can be fun too," Becca protested. Ashley laughed.

I tuned out my friends' silly argument and looked back out at the city of Paris. I'd dreamed of visiting here so often when I was younger- what little girl doesn't dream of Paris? I'd imagined standing at the top of the Eiffel Tower a hundred times before. It was just that in my dreams, it had always been Bradley standing up here next to me. I pictured his face the night of Olivia's birthday party, when he'd told me he didn't love me anymore, and tightened my grip on the railing. How could he have done this to me?

***

Back at the hotel, we took turns showering and doing our makeup and hair in the huge gilded mirrors in the bathroom. I zipped up my new body-hugging dress and took out my trusty black heels from my suitcase. I chose a necklace and some earrings to go with my dress, and went over to the mirror to see how I looked.

"You look great," Megan told me. "Only-"

"What?" I asked. "Did I leave a tag on my dress?"

"No, it's not that," said Megan. "It's just...do you think you're going to leave your wedding ring on?"

My hand flew to my ring automatically. It was a small, simple ring that had been all we could afford when we'd been fresh out of college. We'd discussed upgrading and getting me a new wedding set for our tenth anniversary, but I was sentimental about my little ring.

"I don't know," I said. "I'm not sure I can bring myself to take it off just yet."

"That's okay," said Megan gently. "Do you know if Bradley's taken his off yet?"

"Bradley hasn't worn his regularly for a few months. He said it was irritating his skin- he thinks he's allergic to it or something," I said. As the words came out of my mouth, I realized that I'd never noticed any rash or irritation on his hands.

My face must have changed, because Megan looked concerned. "What's wrong?" she asked.

I shook my head. "Nothing. Hey, I'm going to turn my phone back on, okay? I want to check in with my mom and make sure the kids are okay."

I went out to the balcony and turned my phone on. While I waited for it to boot up, I looked out over the rooftops of Paris and sighed. I was supposed to be coming here to escape, but it seemed that everywhere were little reminders of my old life.

My phone vibrated, indicating I had new messages. I picked it up and almost dropped it again right away when I saw the number of messages I had- thirty texts, five voicemails, and dozens of missed calls. Had something happened to Henry and Olivia at my parents' place? Without even checked the content of the messages, I called my mom straight away.

She answered on the third ring. "Hello? Julia, is that you?"

"Is everything okay?" I asked frantically.

"Of course," my mom replied calmly. "What's wrong? Did you get my text? I let you know this morning that the kids had a great night last night and are excited to be here. We're just sitting down to lunch now. Say hi, kids!" In the background, I could hear a chorus of 'Hi, mommy' from Henry and Olivia.

"You didn't call me a bunch of times and leave some voicemails?" I asked her.

"No, why?"

"Oh...no reason." I chatted with her briefly, and then said a quick hello to Henry and Olivia, before hanging up before I could go in to my messages and look at them. If it wasn't the kids, then it had to be...

Bradley. Bradley. Bradley. Every missed call, voicemail, and text- save the one from my mother letting me know the kids were doing great- was from Bradley. I listened to one voicemail and heard a stream of profanity directed at me. Somewhere in there I heard him mention "wifi password".

Ashley stuck her head out the balcony door that led to the other room. "Who's yelling at you?" she asked. "Sounds pissed."

"Bradley," I said.

"What's he so mad about? Begging you to come home and says he's learned his lesson?"

"No," I said, scrolling through the texts to see if they were all along the same lines. They were. "Before I left, I changed the wifi password."

Ashley's jaw dropped. "Are you serious?"

I nodded.

"Wow," she said. "Good for you, Julia! Honestly, I didn't think you had it in you. First the wifi password, then the credit card...maybe you're learning how to get even."

"I think I am," I said. I stood up and went back in to my room. In one quick motion, I took off my wedding ring and tucked it inside my jewelry case.

# Chapter Eight

"How do you say 'Cheers' in French?" Megan asked the handsome waiter who brought us our drinks.

"In French, we say ' _to health_!'" he replied. "So you would say, _Santé_!"

The four of us clinked glasses together and chorused, "Santé!"

Ashley had the grace to wait until he was out of earshot before she said, "That's boring. You should have asked him how to say 'Here's to a wild and crazy night!'"

"I'm starting to get kind of scared what you're planning," joked Becca. "We all know I'm not a very wild and crazy person."

"You can cut loose," urged Ashley. "We all can." She took a huge sip of wine. "We eat here and have a few drinks, then leave in search of a good time. I may not have danced on a table for a few years now, but I still have the moves in me."

"I don't know about on a table, but I'm looking forward to just doing some regular, floor dancing," I admitted. "I can't remember the last time I did that. Not in years."

"Well, we're all going to have a good time tonight," Megan declared.

"Remember," added Ashley, "no planning! Tonight we're going to go with the flow. Right, Julia?"

"That's right," I said, hoping I wasn't going to be getting in over my head.

Our food arrived soon, and the duck confit I'd ordered was heavenly. We'd ordered a bottle of wine for our table and it flowed freely- the waiter had to bring out a fresh bottle more than once. I lost count after the third bottle appeared at the table.

I thought I was stuffed full, but when Becca ordered a crème brûlée, I just had to have one too. "This is heavenly," I said, closing my eyes as I took a bite. "I can almost feel my pants not fitting tomorrow."

"Who cares," said Becca. "It's worth it!"

"Better than sex?" teased Ashley.

"I think so," I said.

"Bradley obviously hasn't been doing very well, then," she said. "Just you wait, Jules. We'll find you someone you wouldn't dream of comparing to dessert."

I rolled my eyes and took another bite of crème brûlée, Ashley's comment had stuck in my head and I couldn't help think about what she had said. Bradley and I had been together since high school. He'd been my first, and my only. I'd always felt satisfied when we had sex. I'd never thought that I was missing out on anything when my friends talked about some of the different guys they had dated. But Ashley's comment made me start to wonder- had I been missing out? Was sex with Bradley in reality just average? Could it be better? I used to be horrified at the prospect of being with another man. But to my surprise, for the first time, I felt somewhat curious about being intimate with someone else. Would he feel different? Would he try different things?

We finished our meal just before midnight and paid the bill- rather, Bradley paid our bill- and then set out in search of a place to dance the rest of the night away. The concierge at our hotel had directed us to an area with lots of fashionable restaurants and nightclubs, but we'd arrived in a taxi so I had no idea where we were in relation to our hotel. At any rate, we turned a corner down a narrow street and saw crowds of people lining up to get in various clubs. The thumping bass was so strong that if I put my hand on my chest I was sure I could feel my heart vibrate.

"Is this where we're going?" asked Becca nervously. "I'm not sure if I'm cool enough to get in to a place like this."

"Just show some cleavage and we'll get in anywhere," Ashley advised her.

"Which place do you want to go to?" asked Megan, looking around. "It looks like there's a line everywhere."

We stood in the middle of the street while fashionable clubbers hurried around us in both directions. I felt like it was the first day of high school again- had I dressed okay? Would the other kids laugh at my outfit?

"Julia should choose a place," said Ashley. "That place down there with the strobe lights looks cool, but it has the longest line. Or Club Techno, that one looks cool too." She pointed to the lineup nearest to us. "But I think Julia should pick. It's her night, after all."

I took a deep breath and looked up and down the street. Across the street, one of the lineups seemed to feature fewer teenagers and more people our age. Maybe that would be more comfortable for us- after all, I wasn't even sure if I liked techno music.

But that wasn't what this trip was about, I reminded myself. It was about pushing my boundaries and doing things differently. Creating new experiences. Who knew, maybe I'd end up liking techno music. "Club Strobe Lights," I said, pointing down the street at the longest line. "If the line is the longest, then I think that means it's the best place."

Ashley cheered, and the four of us linked arms as we walked down to get in line behind the velvet rope.

We waited for about fifteen minutes before we reached the front of line. I'd noticed a few people ahead of us hadn't been let in, which Ashley assured me was a good thing because it meant they had standards. When it was our turn, the bouncer looked us all up and down before he nodded and stepped aside. We paid the cover fee and entered the club.

It was so loud I couldn't even hear myself think. I was grateful when Megan grabbed my hand and pulled me after Ashley, who was heading towards a seating area just outside the dance floor. Despite the line outside, it wasn't very crowded inside. So we were able to find a seat. We had barely sat down before a bartender came by and asked if we'd like anything to drink.

"A round of shots," said Ashley.

"It's been ages since I've done shots," I protested.

"Up for anything, remember?" Megan reminded me.

I sighed and nodded, and when the bartender came back with a small tray of shot glasses, I took one and knocked it back just like I was back in college.

Since the dance floor wasn't yet full, we ordered fruity drinks and sat down for a while, talking. Since it was half past midnight at that point I was a bit worried I'd chosen badly and we'd picked a dud, but the girls assured me that things would pick up after one. "I must be old," I sighed. "By one, I'm just about ready for bed."

"Well, I'm not out every weekend like I'm twenty-one again," said Megan, "but we're on vacation, and it's kind of nice to go out like this, isn't it?"

I had to admit it was. I'd gotten way too accustomed to yoga pants and my minivan. It did feel great to be wearing a cute dress and high heels and sit down in a hot nightclub with a drink in my hand. It felt like I was living someone else's life for a minute instead of my own humdrum existence.

The girls were right and the club did pick up after one. People started filling up the dance floor, and once we'd finished our drinks we joined them. I'd always been self-conscious dancing, but somehow in this crowd of people I didn't care what anybody else thought and just let loose and enjoyed myself. It was noisy and crowded and I thought I didn't like techno music, but before I knew it I could almost feel it inside me, pulsing. We danced until our feet were sore, and we made our way back to where we'd been sitting before. Another group of people were sitting there, so we found some empty spots in a booth with a few other women.

"Mind if we sit here?" asked Becca, sliding down to an empty seat. "Um, excusez-moi..."

"Oh, it's fine, no problem!" said the woman with a big smile. I was relieved to hear she was American, since I knew there was no way I'd be able to remember any of my high school French when I was drunk.

"Thanks," I said.

"I'm going to go get us another round of shots," said Ashley, and she disappeared towards the bar.

"So are you having fun yet, Jules?" Megan asked me.

"I'm having a blast!" I exclaimed. "God, I haven't gone out dancing in forever. This was exactly what I needed. Just some drinks and dancing with good friends. And I'm excited to explore Paris a little further tomorrow..... in the afternoon, at least. I'm going to be paying for this tomorrow morning!"

"Is this your first time in Paris?" asked one of the other women we were sitting near, leaning in so I could hear her over the thumping bass.

I nodded. "We all came here together for the first time, on a- a sort of girls trip, I guess."

"Oh, fun!" she said. "We're here on a similar trip. My friend over there- Amy- she's turning thirty-five this year- we're on a trip for her birthday. We got here the day before yesterday."

"This was our first day here," said Megan. "We got in late last night, just did a bit of shopping today before we went out to dinner. I'm Megan- this is Julia and Becca."

"I'm Claire," said the woman, holding out her hand. "Besides Amy, that's Sarah and Nicole. What are you guys up to after this place?"

Becca and I exchanged a look. " _After_ this place?" I repeated. By my best guess, it was at least two in the morning. I'd already started imagining what my bed would feel like after a night of dancing in high heels.

"Yeah," said Claire. "It's Europe; things are only getting started!"

"Umm," said Becca.

"We haven't thought that far ahead yet," said Megan.

"I think we're having a bit of a party at our suite afterwards," said Claire. "Amy's arranging the whole thing. I don't want to sound weird, but you girls are more than welcome to come if you'd like!"

"Like...what kind of party?" asked Becca.

"Just a few of us, some other friends we've met here," said Claire.

Ashley showed up just then, her hands full of shots. "Shots all around!" she said cheerfully, handing the glasses to Becca, Megan, and I. "What're we all talking about?"

"We're just making new friends here," I said. I gestured to our new friend. "This is Claire- Claire, this is our other friend, Ashley."

"Hey!" said Claire. "I was just asking your friends if you guys had plans for after this place."

"After this place?" repeated Ashley, and I was relieved I wasn't the only one who hadn't thought about an after-hours party. "No, I don't think so, we don't have anything planned. We're just going with the flow tonight."

"Well, in that case, you guys should totally come," said Claire. "We're having some people over to our suite after this place closes down- at three, or whenever. I can give you the address if you're interested."

Unlike Becca, Megan, and I, Ashley didn't hesitate. "Sure!" she said, and pulled out her phone. "Here- just write the name of the hotel in here and a number we should call when we get there."

I stared at my friend in shock as Claire tapped away at the phone's screen. Was Ashley insane? Just meeting strangers at nightclubs and going back to parties at their hotel rooms?

"Are you nuts?" I whispered in her ear, once she had her phone back and had squeezed on to the banquette next to me. "Just going to hang out with a stranger like that?"

"It's not any different than a one night stand, really," Ashley shrugged. "Ohhh, wait. You've never had one of those, have you? Just Bradley....you poor dear." She patted me on the head, then gave me a little hug. "You just have to go with it sometimes, Jules. If we never talked to people we didn't know, how could we ever make new friends?"

She was right in a way, but she was also totally wrong. You met new friends at yoga class or chatting on the playground, not when a stranger invited you back to their hotel for a party.

We stayed at the club a bit longer- having another round of drinks, going back out to the dance floor, before we decided it was time to go and stumbled outside.

"I'm about ready for bed," said Becca, yawning. "I had a great time, but I'm tired."

"Me too," I agreed. "Sorry, Ashley, I just don't think I'm up for an after party."

"But that's not fair," said Ashley. "You agreed- whatever happens, happens! Maybe we'll have a great time. And hey, if it turns crazy, at least we'll have a great story, right?"

"Right, like waking up in a bathtub with a missing kidney," said Becca. "Ha ha ha, that was such a great time!"

"Don't be a party pooper," said Ashley. "Come on, it'll be fun!"

"I don't know," I said. "Megs?"

"I'm up for it," she declared. "Ashley's right- it could end up being a lot of fun. Go with the flow, remember, Jules?"

She was right. Becca rolled her eyes at us but came along anyway, claiming that someone would have to call the police when Claire and her friends tried to hold us hostage. I was tired, but couldn't help but feel a twinge of nervous excitement as we piled in to a cab on the way to Claire's hotel.

It was a large, fancy hotel, and when Ashley called the number Claire had given her we were told to get in the elevator and go right up to the penthouse suite. We crowded in together and when the doors opened, we were right in the penthouse suite.

I looked around. There were several chairs and small couches set up in a seating area, with a big open space in the middle. For mingling, I assumed, or maybe dancing. A bar was set up in one corner of the room and about ten other women were hanging out in the room.

When she noticed we'd arrived, one of the women broke away from the group she'd been chatting with and walked over to us with a smile. "Hi," she said. "I'm Amy- I'm hosting this party tonight. My friend Claire met you at the club we were at earlier, didn't she?"

We all nodded, and introduced ourselves. "Great," said Amy. "Once everyone gets here, we'll get started. Have you been to a party like this before? Did Claire fill you in?"

"She said it was a party," I said. "Is there more to it?"

Amy smiled. "Oh, you're in for a treat," she said. "We've got some great guests coming tonight. It's CFNM- clothed females, naked males. We're going to have some men here to serve us, there will be games and so on- really, it'll be a great time! No pressure to touch, but if you want to, it's up to you."

The elevator pinged its arrival again, with another small group of women, and Amy moved on to greet them. The four of us stood there in a tight cluster, looking at one another. Amy's reveal about the party's true nature had truly thrown me for a loop. Getting roofied and waking up with my purse stolen and no idea how to get back to the hotel- that had been the worst case scenario I'd imagined earlier. A sex party hadn't crossed my mind and I wasn't sure what to think.

"Did she say, naked males?" asked Becca. "I don't know about this."

"I don't know. I think it could be fun," said Megan. "Clothed females, that's us- we don't have to do anything we don't want to."

"I don't think I'm comfortable with this," I said. "I just- I know that if Bradley and I separate, I'll have to sleep with someone else, eventually. I'll see another man naked, eventually. But I don't know if I'm ready to do it now."

"Are you telling me you've never seen another man naked before?" Ashley demanded.

"Well- I mean, we watched porn together once or twice, but I know those guys aren't like in real life" I started to say.

Ashley interrupted me. "Oh, honey. We really do need to stay, then.....for your own education. There's a lot more out there than just Bradley. Look, we don't take our clothes off. If you decide you don't like it, you don't have to look. But you need to give it a try. No excuses, remember?"

I took a deep breath. "All right," I said. "Let's stay."

# Chapter Nine

We got some drinks from the bartender and decided to sit down together while we waited for the party to get underway. I looked around at the other women there and tried to get a read on them. Some of them seemed filled with nervous excitement, like we were. Others seemed totally at ease and circulated around, chatting easily with each other. I remembered Claire saying that she and her friends came here regularly and realized that they must do this kind of thing all the time.

Finally, Amy came out and stood in the center of the circle. "Ladies, if you wouldn't mind, it's time to take a seat," she said. "We're going to get this party started!"

The more experienced women let out whoops and cheers as they found chairs. Once we were all sitting down, music started to play. The bartender came out from behind the bar, opened a set of double doors that led to another room, and dimmed the lights. A spotlight stayed trained on the open area in the middle of the room. I couldn't help but crane my neck to watch as the bartender led a group of men- four or five of them, I guessed, compared to the twenty or so women waiting- to dance in the stage area.

I wanted to look away- I felt like I should look away- but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Once I'd attended a bachelorette party that had a male stripper, and at first it was like that with dancing men. They were doing a striptease as they removed their clothes. The other women in the room were clapping along with the music, whooping and hollering as they cheered the men on. I clapped along to the beat so I wouldn't look out of place, too.

I snuck a look at my friends to see what their reactions were. Ashley, as I might have guessed, was cheering loudly and encouraging them to shake it. But Megan and even Becca seemed like they were enjoying themselves, too. The men were definitely nice to look at, I had to admit. Their muscular bodies rippled under smooth, tanned skin. I tried my hardest to keep my eyes up on their faces, but every now and then I couldn't help but stare at their cocks. Aside from the very occasional porn film, Bradley's was the only one I had seen before. Next to the men in front of me, his was tiny.

After a song or two had played, Amy stood up and made an announcement. "For the rest of the night, ladies, these men are here to serve you," she said. "Drinks, food, a massage...anything you want. Don't be shy. Take some time to mingle, and we're going to have a little competition starting up in a short while!"

My friends and I turned to each other to touch base. "Well?" asked Becca. "What do you think?"

"This is amazing," said Ashley. "I'm so glad I made us come. What's not to like, ladies? Honestly? Naked men serving you drinks and giving massages...I'll take it! Who wants a drink?" She snapped her fingers and called out for someone to bring her a fresh drink. Not even a minute later, a naked man appeared with a fresh glass of wine.

"For you, madame," he said, bowing slightly. Ashley gave his buttocks a squeeze and dismissed him.

"I think it's kind of fun, too," admitted Megan. "I mean, we're on vacation, its Paris, everyone knows the French are the sexiest people alive...why not? It's not like any of us are cheating by looking at some other guys."

Becca stood up and I almost thought she was going to leave, but she just pointed to one of the men. "That guy is so unbelievably sexy. My feet hurt from dancing all night...I'm going to go make him give me a foot massage." I watched her walk over to him and had to make a conscious effort to keep my mouth closed from the shock. Becca- sweet, museum-loving Becca- was getting in to the vibe of Amy's party.

Megan stood up too. "I think I'm going to go dance with that group over there," she said, pointing to where a cluster of a few women were taking turns pressing up against a naked man and grinding.

"I'll go with you," said Ashley, tipping back her glass of wine. "Come on, Jules! It'll be fun."

I couldn't. I shook my head, feeling too embarrassed to even say a word.

Ashley frowned. "Oh, come on," she said. "It's just a bit of dancing. You had fun doing that at the club, didn't you?"

"I- I have to get another drink," I said. "Maybe later." Ashley shrugged, and followed Megan over to the group that was dancing.

I was only sitting by myself for a minute or two before Claire, the woman I'd been talking to at the club who had invited us all here in the first place, stopped by. "Julia! Are you having a good time?" she asked. "There's going to be some great contests we make them do coming up- and there _will_ be a ruler involved," she promised. "Want to come dance?"

"Um, that's okay, thanks," I said. "Actually, where is the restroom, if you don't mind?"

"Oh, sure, it's just through there," said Claire, pointing at the doors that the men had come through at the beginning of the party.

"Thanks," I said, and slipped away.

I took my time in the bathroom, which was the size of the master bedroom back in my house in Ohio and even more luxurious than the bathroom at our hotel room here in Paris. I reapplied my lipstick, and pulled out my phone to check if I had any new messages. (Two more angry texts from Bradley, who hadn't been able to find where I had hidden the toilet paper, so he was going to be staying at Nikki's and he hoped I was satisfied.) Feeling angry all over again, I sat down on one of the chairs in the bathroom for a few minutes playing games on my phone until enough time had passed that I thought the mingling session might be over out in the main room.

I opened the door to the bathroom and stepped out. I was in a bedroom with a king sized four poster bed and, lounging on it, a very attractive man. Unlike the other men out in the main room, he was dressed in linen slacks and a blue shirt. I was so surprised to see him that I did a double take.

"Oh, hello there," he said nonchalantly, looking up from a tablet. "What are you doing in here? Party's out there."

"It's...not really my thing," I said. "I came here with friends, and they're out there having a great time."

"I see," he nodded. "Same thing with me. I came with some friends, but you can't have a clothed man at one of these parties I guess."

"What made you come?" I asked, taking a step closer despite myself. "Wouldn't it make more sense to go back to your hotel? I mean, it's what-" I looked around the room for a clock and didn't see one, so I pulled out my phone- "after three AM. Wouldn't you rather be sleeping?"

"I'm visiting Paris with a few friends," he said. "Three girls, two guys. We were all going to go out but the other guy, he came down with food poisoning at dinner so it was just the four of us. While we were at a club my friends got invited to come to a party here. Guess the woman who invited them didn't realize I was with them. Imagine my surprise when I showed up here." He laughed. "Amy did say I was more than welcome to strip down and join the dancers, but it's not really my thing either."

"Oh, no!" My hand went to my mouth to cover up a giggle that was threatening to slip out. "I'd be mortified. I don't know how they do it."

"There's some kind of dick measuring contest going on," said the guy. "I don't feel up to subjecting myself to that kind of humiliation right now."

"I'm Julia," I introduced myself. "Do you mind if I stay in here and hang out with you while they continue their party out there?"

"Sure. I'm Matthew," he said. He looked to be around my age and had that wholesome, all-American look to him- blond hair, blue eyes, and a strong jaw. He patted the bed next to him, and as I sat down I couldn't help wondering what he might have looked like up there in comparison to the other men with no clothes on. "So what are you doing here in Paris?" he asked. "How do you like it?"

"Oh, I'm here on a girl's trip," I said. "We just got here the other day so we haven't really been out to see much. Just a bit of shopping on the Champs-Elysees and a trip up the Eiffel Tower, then out to dinner and clubbing tonight of course. But I love what I've seen. It's a city that so many people dream of, you know? I never imagined that I would actually be here one day and seeing it all in person. I want to- well, no, it sounds silly."

"Oh, you can't leave me hanging like that!" said Matthew. "Nothing's that silly. What do you want to do here?"

"I just want to find some old, twisty cobblestone streets filled with cute little stores full of hidden treasures, and tiny but delicious cafes," I admitted. "Just wander around by myself for hours and get lost and enjoy the atmosphere. I usually have a problem with over-planning vacations so I made a promise to the girls that I wouldn't do that, but I need to have some kind of plan to function- even if getting lost is my plan, you know?"

"I get it," he said. "You should check out Montmartre. We were there the other day- you start at the bottom and just kind of pick a street and walk up towards the top of the hill. It's a great way to spend a day doing pretty much nothing."

"I'll have to go there," I said. "How long have you been here? What else do you recommend we do?"

I leaned back against the soft pillows of the bed and relaxed for the first time all night. Matthew and his friends had been here a few days so far, but it wasn't his first trip to the city. He'd first visited it as a young college kid travelling Europe during the summer, like the backpackers I'd been envious of at the Eiffel Tower earlier today. He talked on for a while, telling me about the Louvre- I couldn't miss the Louis XIV rooms- and the Rodin Museum couldn't be missed either, and if the weather was nice some of the parks around the city were great to wander through.

On the other side of the bedroom doors, I could hear the music start up again. I found myself hoping that none of the girls came looking for me to drag me back out to watch the erection measuring competition. I was enjoying talking to Matthew much more than I'd enjoyed watching the spectacle out in the other room.

"You want a drink?" he asked, getting up from the bed and walking to the door. He peeked out through the crack. "I doubt anybody would notice if we snuck out there and grabbed a bottle of something."

I followed suit. "Let me go grab something," I said. "You'd stick out too much, being a man wearing clothes and all."

Matthew laughed and stepped back. "Okay, go grab us some drinks," he said. He opened the door and I slipped through the crack.

I scurried along the wall to the bar in the corner and ducked down behind it. I grabbed a couple glasses and looked for a bottle of wine. For such a small bar it was well stocked, but I didn't want to be grabbing ingredients for lots of different drinks. I held a bottle of wine and a glass in each hand, and tucked a third bottle of wine- opened, but not much gone- under my arm. I peeked up over the bar to make sure nobody was looking.

I had nothing to be afraid of, since a line of naked men were getting their erections measured. Five different women were standing up there too, holding measuring tapes. I recognized Ashley as one of them. I gave my head a little shake and hurried back to the door that Matthew had left open a crack. My friends didn't seem to be missing my presence at all. Well, too bad, because hanging out with Matthew and drinking some wine was more my style anyway.

Nobody noticed me as I dashed back in to the back bedroom with my loot. "Well done!" Matthew exclaimed, once the door was closed behind me. "Wow, I'm impressed. Three bottles of wine? That takes skill to carry all that back in here!"

"Thanks," I said, feeling strangely proud of myself. He accepted the glass I held out to him, and took one of the bottles of wine as well.

He poured both glasses full and took a sip. "So did anybody see you?" he asked.

"No, they were all pretty preoccupied," I replied. "I don't think my friends even noticed I was gone." I couldn't hide the disappointment in my voice.

"Maybe they thought you left and went home," Matthew suggested. "If they knew you weren't having a good time, that is."

"Maybe," I agreed. I took a sip of wine. "God, I haven't done anything like this in years. I was never a very wild kid in high school and in college, I had a- a steady boyfriend I spent most of my time with. I never went out to wild parties, that kind of thing."

"Sounds like a game of, _never have I ever gone to a wild party_ ," said Matthew, taking another sip of wine.

"Huh?"

"You've never played that game? Oh good, I'm so glad I met you tonight. It's a game, a drinking game...typically it's played at those wild teenage parties. One person says something they've never done, and if you've done that thing, you've got to take a drink. Let's play. Okay?"

"Sure," I said, feeling reckless. I took a sip of wine too. "As of tonight, I have gone to a wild party. Your turn."

"Hmm," he said. "I'll start easy. Let's see- never have I ever skipped school."

"You never did senior skip day?" I asked. I took a sip of wine...two, actually. I couldn't help but remember Bradley and I sometimes skipping class to make out behind the gym. Then I remembered the day he'd pressured me to skip class to be with him when I'd had an essay due, and I ended up handing it in late. I'd given things up for him. I'd made sacrifices. And this was how he'd repaid me.

"Nope," said Matthew. "Your turn."

"Never have I ever...lied on my resume."

"I'm not evil," said Matthew. "I've never done that. Never have I ever gone skinny dipping."

That summer during college when Bradley and I had gone camping and enjoyed a moonlit swim. I took a drink. "Never have I ever cheated on someone."

I waited, but Matthew didn't drink. "You're supposed to get me drunk," he said. "Stuff you haven't done, but everyone else probably has."

"You never know," I said. "Okay, fine. Never have I ever passed out after drinking."

Matthew took a big gulp of wine. "Never have I ever had a pet."

I sipped my wine, remembering the cat we'd had to give away when it was apparent he didn't like toddler Henry. "Never have I ever had a fake ID."

"If I'd grown up in France, I wouldn't have needed it," Matthew said as he finished off his glass of wine. He poured himself another, then topped mine up. "Never have I ever kissed a stranger."

# Chapter Ten

His voice had changed. It wasn't giddy from the excitement of stealing the wine anymore, or wistful like when he'd talked about his favorite places in Paris. It was low, expectant. I didn't move my glass of wine. I looked at him.

He took a step towards me, sipped from his glass, and then set it on a side table. Gently, he took my glass out of my hands and set it next to his. He took my hand and lifted it up to touch his cheek. "Julia," he said softly.

I ran my hand up through his thick hair, then caressed his neck. "Matthew," I whispered. I was standing closer to him than I had ever stood next to any man before, save my husband....my ex, soon to be ex-husband.

"I think you're going to need some wine," he said, and bent to kiss me.

Every objection I could think of ran through my head- I'm still married! I just met you! My friends are all out there! But as soon as his lips touched mine, I forgot them all. It had been a long time since Bradley and I had been intimate, too long, and as I tasted the wine on Matthew's lips I realized how much I had ached for someone to touch me the past few weeks.

His tongue lightly stroked mine as he ran his hands over my body. "You're so sexy," he whispered in my ear. "The second I saw you I knew I wanted you."

"I can't believe I'm doing this," I whispered back. "This isn't me at all!"

"That's what is so great about it," he murmured. "You can be whoever you want to be tonight."

He was right. I would never see him again after tonight, and I'd had just enough to drink that I knew what I wanted. I reached out to caress the bulge in his pants, and grew bold enough to undo the button. His cock was right there, thick and throbbing and ready to burst out if I hadn't undone the button myself. "It's too bad you didn't enter that contest out there," I told him. "I know you would've won."

He moaned gently and reached out against the wall to steady himself as I continued to stroke his shaft. "Oh, god, Julia...your hands are magical."

It gave me such a feeling of power to see a strong man like him succumb to me so quickly. I could feel myself getting wet between the legs, and I wanted him inside me. I glanced over my shoulder at the huge, pristine bed he'd been sitting on when I first saw him.

"Bed?" he gasped. "I need you."

"What if someone comes in?" I whispered.

"Too late for that."

I had an idea. "Come with me," I said, and, cock still in hand, led him towards the bathroom. I shut and locked the door behind us. There was a thick pile rug on the floor that I'd been thinking of, but Matthew had different plans. He reached out and pulled down the zipper on my dress. "Your turn," he told me.

I hesitated only a second before stepping out of my dress before I fell back in to him. He flicked my nipples with his tongue until they were erect, and I cried out. His mouth on mine was forceful and we staggered backwards until we fell into the armchair I had sat in earlier. I ground my hips in a hard circle against him as he slid one hand in my panties and gently entered me with his fingers. I made a sound I'd never heard before- Matthew was getting something out of me I didn't know I had. With one finger he pounded at the soft flesh while the other massaged my clit with such a gentle touch it was like two different hands.

"Ahhhh," I groaned, as I bucked and ground my hips against him as hard as I could.

Abruptly, he stopped.

"Keep going," I begged him. "Oh, God, what are you doing to me?"

"Get in the shower," he told me. "Come on!"

I didn't ask questions, just followed him. With one quick motion he turned the shower on, then grabbed me by the hand and pulled me in after him and pushed me up against the wall. The spray from the water hit my breasts and rolled down my stomach, where he gently kissed and licked them up.

"Careful," he warned, as he knelt and lifted one of my legs. He hooked it over his shoulder and gestured towards a shelf within arm's reach. "Better hold on."

I grabbed the shelf for balance and leaned my head back against the wall as Matthew's tongue darted in and out of my folds. The sensation of the cool tile pressing on my back mingled with the warm wetness coming from inside me and the spray from the water almost pushed me over the brink. The leg I was standing on buckled and I reached out to grab the first thing I touched- his hair.

"Please!" I cried out. "I'm going to fall down!"

He stopped then just long enough to lay me down on the floor of the shower before going back down. His tongue flicked and stroked in ways I had never felt before, and now here was a finger again rubbing hard against my clit. With one final stroke I felt a wave come over my body and, against my will, my back arched against the hard floor and I let out a howl of pleasure as I came hard and fast.

"That's it, baby," said Matthew, and he slid out of the spray long enough to grab a foil packet from his trousers and slipped it on. Then he entered me. With a few strong thrusts, I wrapped my legs around him and let him take me. Gliding and rocking with a frantic passion for what seemed like hours, he finally erupted.

Satisfied and panting, we laid on the floor and stared at each other. "That was amazing," said Matthew.

"It was incredible," I said. I'd never had sex like that before with Bradley. I didn't even know noises like that could come from me. I stared up at the ceiling.

Bradley.

***

Matthew had stepped in to the shower and was cleaning himself off. I wasn't sure how this worked now- did I join him? Showering together seemed such an intimate thing to do. I had to laugh a bit at myself for the thought.

"Here's a towel," said Matthew, getting out of the shower and handing me a thick, fluffy white towel. "Let's dry off and get dressed. We don't want the others to have to go looking for us."

"Sure," I said slowly. "Thanks."

We dried off and got dressed, and I got a look at myself in the mirror. I had eye makeup dripping down my face, so I tried my best to clean it up a bit. I didn't have any more to reapply and I looked oddly naked without any eyeliner.

Back out in the bedroom, Matthew picked up his glass of wine with a casual nonchalance, like nothing had happened between us. "Sounds like it's winding down out there," he said, nodding towards the door. "Should we take a look and see what's going on?"

"Okay," I said. I stopped with my hand on the doorknob and turned to face him. "Before we go out- I've never done this before. I don't know how it works, afterwards-"

"Don't worry about it," he interrupted, and leaned over to kiss me on the cheek. "You're one hell of a beautiful woman, Julia. I don't expect anything if you don't want it. It was a hell of a lot more fun than what I thought I'd be doing in this bedroom all night long. I hope you enjoy the rest of your time in Paris."

"Thank you," I said automatically. "You, too."

Matthew didn't mean anything malicious in what he'd said, but it left me with an uneasy feeling. I'd had sex with another man who wasn't my husband. It was true that my husband had told me he wanted a divorce, but we were still married and he was still my husband. We had a comfortable home, two beautiful children, and a happy life that we had both enjoyed up until the past few months. With a bit of hard work, we could get back to that place, couldn't we? Could that still happen?

I opened the door and walked out to join the rest of the party. The contests were over and the lights had been turned down and everyone was dancing and mingling again, although this time much more closely. I scanned the group for my friends, desperately wanting to go back to the hotel and sleep in my soft bed.

To my great relief, I spotted Megan dancing in a small group with one of the men and a couple other women. I didn't care if I was interrupting anything. I walked right up to her, grabbed her by the hand, and pulled her off to the side.

"Jules! There you are," she said, giving me a small hug. "We were looking for you. Figured you'd taken a cab back to the hotel. Where were you? Your hair's all wet."

I shook my head and could barely manage to get the words out. When I did, my voice wavered. "I think I've made a huge mistake."

To be continued...

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