Hi, I'm Cheryl Benadie from Whole Person Academy and I want to create a
Wholeness@Work Wednesday discussion.
My topic for discussion today is first generation
professionals and 'The Guilt Syndrome.'
So I know this sounds like a very
complex topic, but just some background into my own journey:
So I am one of hundreds and thousands of South Africans who have been the first in their families to
actually obtain a matric qualification as well as a tertiary qualification
and that means shifting from blue collar work, that my family was involved in
and into white-collar work.
This is really why I've actually created Whole Person Academy because I realized that first generation
professionals really lack the work readiness and life skills training that we didn't know we needed
when we got into the workplace. And so
I also encountered this first generation guilt while I was working at different universities for over the past ten years.
So I've been involved in bursary fundraising for first generation
students and honestly, that was what I love to do. I loved to see
donors who are really benevolent and passionate and
actually engaged and wanting to help to shift the society structure in South Africa by supporting first generation
students and in getting to know these students a lot of them obviously became friends because we have a lot of synergy and connection and
I began to see this thread that was very evident in my own life
also showing up in the lives of other students as well.
Generally what happens is when the students come into the university space firstly they have been very hard-working,
they've earned the right to be there because they've had to
obviously get the right admission and obviously have a clear sense of what they wanted to do. And university is tough so they definitely on their right to be there,
but as the years went on as they shifted from first to second year, what they would often feel when they would go back home is an increasing sense of alienation
And this is because their friendship circle who maybe didn't have the same opportunities that they've had
start resenting them and
it becomes a sense of well, you think you're too good for us now because
you are going down this path and
their parents, you know don't really have an experience or a language for the university space. And so they do feel very isolated.
Now depending on the wraparound support available at different universities, they may or may not have had the right support and
even though they may have made fans at university. They often feel an
increasing sense of alienation as they shift into the world of work and the friendship structures change.
So first generation guilt often creeps up when you first step into your
your new job and you start earning a salary that is actually more than your parents have ever earned in their lives and
this is where a lot of
graduates need some support in financial literacy training: how to budget, how to not get into debt, how to do simple things like
actually purchasing your first car, what to look out for
because they can't go back home and ask for advice and they often feel embarrassed and ashamed
to ask for things that they feel like they should already know.
The reality is that we actually know less than what you think we do when we get into the workplace,
so even if it is graduates from different backgrounds who are not necessarily the first their families to be
professionals they still need the same kind of support.
But if no one talks about it, then everyone's too ashamed to actually mention that actually don't know how to do this thing.
So the guilt also flares up the further they advance in their careers and I
want to know if you're a first generation
professional watching this today, if this question has also come up in your heart and your mind
The question is: "How far am I allowed to go?"
Because the further you go, the more you feel this tension of where my family has been, where they've come from
and so you ask the question how far am I allowed to go before I actually
lose sight of them or the relationship becomes too volatile,
too you know stretched out in terms of the
world that's changing between them.
I actually met someone at a restaurant today this week and we were talking about it.
He's from the Eastern Cape and he's the CEO of a media company and
he said: "when does this ever stop, when does this feeling go away?" And I said I don't think that I don't think the feeling goes away.
especially if the first generation
professionals are also the eldest children in their families. And often
these first generation professionals come from cultures that are very family orientated, that are very much based on group dynamics,
the group identity of "we are, therefore you are"
instead of Western cultures that are more individualistic by nature.
So that's why I wanted to actually bring this out into the open. Not that it's a bad thing to be exposed
but I think it's important to share our stories,
I think it's important to actually share our journeys of private struggles because they directly impact our professional journeys.
And so if you are a first generation professional watching this today,
please comment below and tell me if you've also experienced this Guilt Syndrome
let's call it, of first generation professionals in our country.
It's actually hampering our growth because unless we decide but it's okay for us to progress
we're going to constantly sabotage
ourselves in the workplace.
I finally had to come an understanding for myself that the further I go, the further I advance,  the more that I reach for -
the more I open up opportunities for my family to see what's possible.
So that's the only way that I've actually allowed myself to do that and also exposing myself to different environments.
So I want to ask the question day: Do you experience first generation guilt? How have you dealt with it?
What advice do you give to
graduates coming into this space that is going to feel the guilt. I think it's important for us to build a community
that is able to be strengthened by story and to realize that we're not the only ones grappling with these things.
So thank you for watching. Please leave a comment below. At Whole Person Academy, we are passionate about helping
Individuals to create harmony in the areas of relationships, career and finances.
I don't think that we can be successful if we are broken in any area.
And so wholeness and power in your space is possible!
So, please leave a comment below and I look forward to engaging with your further. Have a great day
