- [Man] We are going to
test your sense of taste
by having you blindfold
taste-test some cured meats.
- These blindfolded
tastings are so so hard.
You rely so much on visuals when you taste
so I think it's gonna be tough.
[upbeat music]
- Considering I was a
vegetarian for the first
like 21 years of my life, we'll see.
- [Man] It's black side out.
- Black side out.
[upbeat music]
- [Man] Other, other.
[upbeat music]
- I'm wearing my own personal Bat-mask.
- Bring me the meats.
[upbeat music]
- Okay ready?
- I think the way
that it kind of pulls apart
is gonna tell me a lot
so this feels like it's
pulling apart into fibers.
- Which is sorta telling me that
it's relatively low moisture.
- Nutty, almost cheesy character.
- Doesn't have like a
cut edge on that side.
- A deli slicer or whole
muscle, long, aged.
- Salty.
- It's kinda smoky.
- This feels like a prosciutto,
smells like prosciutto
and it tastes like
prosciutto, I'm gonna go with
nature's cheese, prosciutto.
[buzzing]
- Prosciutto.
[buzzing]
- Prosciutto.
[buzzing]
- Prosciutto.
[buzzing]
- So I can tell you
without tasting, I think
this one is prosciutto.
[buzzing]
- 99% sure that this is prosciutto.
[buzzing]
- The smell on it is kinda smoky though,
prosciutto doesn't get smoked so.
- I'm gonna call this like,
serrano ham.
[buzzing]
- It tastes like speck.
[buzzing]
- Salami picante?
[buzzing]
- I wanna say this is like,
it reminds me on Benton's,
Benton's Country Ham, is that?
- It's country ham!
[dinging]
- Yeah?
- Aw Christ.
- Oh you [beeping].
[laughing]
- [Man] You're the first
person to get this!
- 'Cause the smokiness, to me
it's the smokiness that gives it away.
[upbeat music]
- Little guy.
- Little guy.
- It's hard.
- That's a hard nub.
- I know that this is some
kind of thin diameter link.
- It smells like there's some kind of like
spice situation in here.
- I'm thinking it's either,
it's like a saucisson,
some kind of French situation.
- Kinda livery smell.
- I'm really channeling Chris,
is Chris so good at this,
he's probably the best.
- It's a weird little dude here.
- Hmm.
Huh.
What is this?
- There's like a fried rice dish
at Great New York Noodle Town
that smells exactly like this
like it almost smells
like Chinese five spice.
- I feel like I taste wine.
I don't know what this is,
it's like, it's really sweet.
- I'm going towards like the east.
- The only name for this is
bad, it's dry as sawdust,
it has very little going on flavor-wise.
- I've never had anything like this,
I have no guesses.
[buzzing]
- I don't know, maybe it's a Slim Jim.
[buzzing]
I'm gonna go with Slim Jim.
- Is this a Slim Jim?
[buzzing]
- Fancy Slim Jim.
[buzzing]
- Not exactly sure what it is.
[buzzing]
- Some shitty version of like
a landjäger, like one of those
kinds of salamis, you know.
[buzzing]
- What the hell is this,
Chinese sausage or something?
[dinging]
- Chinese sausage.
[dinging]
- Is it Chinese sausage?
[dinging]
- Lap cheong?
[dinging]
- Chinese sausage maybe.
[dinging]
- [Man] You got it.
- Oh I got one, whoa!
Okay, I was just pulling
that out of my ass.
- Ah!
The sweetness, the lap
cheong, I should have known
it's lap cheong, I had
lap cheong on Saturday!
Ugh!
I hate losing.
[upbeat music]
- This one feels like it
has kind of a finished edge.
- Kinda similar to the first,
definitely a little greasier
which makes me think there's either
higher fat content or it's like treated
with some kind of oil or something.
- Fat pockets?
- Is that the casing I'm getting?
- It smells more salami-ish.
- Oo it's got a little bit of heat.
- Is that hot capicola?
[buzzing]
- 'Cause it's got that tang
to it, it's thinly sliced,
it's got a good amount of fat,
I'm gonna go with soppressata.
[dinging]
- Soppressata.
[dinging]
- Hot soppressata?
- You got it!
[dinging]
- Ah!
- Maybe soppressata.
[dinging]
- Salami.
[dinging]
- I'm gonna say salami.
[dinging]
- Whether you wanna call
this hot soppressata
or like pepperoni, I feel like would be
a matter of semantics.
[dinging]
- Damn I've no idea what this is.
- This is prosciutto.
No, maybe it's a little too funky,
I don't think it's prosciutto
anymore, mm, but I also
don't know what it is.
[buzzing]
- It's not the texture
of spicy soppressata,
it tastes kinda like pepperoni
but it's also not the
texture of pepperoni,
you know what, I'm just gonna say it's
spicy soppressata.
[dinging]
- There's like a very
specific kind of like
spice flavor profile, to
a soppressata you know,
it's like black pepper, fennel.
- I think I'm already doing
better than I did with cheese.
And I was a vegetarian for 21 years.
[upbeat music]
- Jeez Louise!
- It's like a little bit upsetting
how slippery and wet this is.
- Not liking this already.
- This is kinda wet, ew.
- Oh, hello.
- Wow this one is slippery.
- It's very bouncy.
- We're definitely sure this
is okay and food safe, yeah?
[laughing]
What is happening?
- Why is it a half circle, it should be,
is it not a full, is it cut?
- This feels gelatinous, honestly this
is giving me lunch meat vibes.
- It's wet, it's cold,
it's thick, it's smushy.
- Bologna or mortadella.
- I've never eaten bologna
before because it just
looks disgusting so
this is bologna, oh god.
[laughing]
I think I know exactly what this is.
It's bologna.
[dinging]
- It's bologna.
[dinging]
- Bologna.
[dinging]
- Bologna.
[dinging]
- I don't think I've
eaten this for 25 years.
This testes like Oscar Meyer bologna.
[dinging]
- I think it's mortadella.
[buzzing]
- Mortadella.
[buzzing]
- This feels like
bologna but I don't think
you guys would do
bologna, so I'm gonna say
it's mortadella.
[buzzing]
- [Man] It's bologna.
- It's bologna, ugh,
you guys are the worst.
- Bologna.
[dinging]
- Oh I think it's bologna.
Oh god, oh god, yeah, I don't
wanna eat any more of this,
I'm just gonna say bologna.
[dinging]
- Bologna and mortadella, they
are basically the same thing.
- Mortadella's often like a
little bit drier than bologna.
- It doesn't have the
nuance of mortadella.
- This is like my childhood right here,
I would never mistake
this for anything else.
[upbeat music]
- This?
- Yeah, yeah.
- This guy.
[laughing]
- Greasy boy.
- Thin and tender, very funky.
- What is happening?
It's really strand-y,
I don't like it at all.
- Very similar to the first one,
it feels a little bit finer,
you can definitely feel
some fat strands in there.
- This is really fatty.
- Ribbons of fat.
- It's kinda tough, smells,
age-y, tastes age-y.
- I mean I think this is
just prosciutto.
[buzzing]
- Prosciutto.
[buzzing]
- Prosciutto.
[buzzing]
- The similar flavor
wise would be maybe like
iberico ham but I don't
think it's iberico,
usually there's a little
bit more texture in iberico
but I might just be making myself
look like an idiot right now.
- It's like too fatty to be a prosciutto.
- It's not reading prosciutto at all,
this one's bugging me.
- This doesn't feel great in my hands.
- Is this the coppa?
[buzzing]
- Guanciale?
[buzzing]
- Very acorn-y, I wanna say
prosciutto but I think iberico.
[dinging]
- Nailed it.
- Nailed it!
- Iberico ham.
[dinging]
- I don't know if y'all
are like spend-y enough
to spend on jamon
iberico but it definitely
tastes like some sort of Spanish ham.
I'm gonna go with like a jamon.
[dinging]
- I don't know, I'm sorta
tapped out on that one.
[buzzing]
- It is jamon iberico.
- Oh it is iberico, wow, interesting.
- Okay this is this the prosciutto,
I mean but now I'm like, are
you like pulling a fast one
on me and is it, is
this like jamon iberico
ugh, alright it's jamon, it's jamon.
- [Man] It is jamon iberico.
[dinging]
[laughing]
- Close, very close to prosciutto.
- Alright, how many do I have left?
- [Man] Last one.
- I really hope this isn't
like blood sausage y'all.
I've never had that before either,
so that would be a first for me.
[upbeat music]
- Oh what's this wet little number here.
Oh I don't know about this boys.
- Feels weird.
- This is so weird.
- Weird and spongy.
- So this is interesting,
this one's like kinda loose.
- It seems like it's something
that was sliced thick.
- So it's like something in a casing.
- It feels more like the
coarseness of just like
a regular sausage, like
smoked paprika, tangy.
- It's pretty, oh, hm.
- There's also like a lot of sweetness.
- It's really different,
okay this is a fresh sausage
that's been cooked, I think.
- This isn't a fresh
sausage that was cooked.
- Oh no, oh no, it's not
very good, is that meat?
[laughing]
- There's like a lot of spice,
the texture's super strange,
like it almost feels rubbery.
- I don't think I've had
anything like this before.
- My first thought is like
a Mexican-style chorizo.
[buzzing]
- Spanish chorizo?
[buzzing]
- I mean I wanna say, I'll
just say chorizo, even though
I don't think that's right.
[buzzing]
- There's a lot of spice, a
lot of garlic, I'm gonna say
like a spicy Italian sausage.
[buzzing]
- That's not, that's vegetarian
sausage or something.
[dinging]
- That's vegan sausage.
- Ugh!
- That is not fair.
- Ugh, you sick bastards.
- Did I get you?
- Yeah.
- Oh my god, tofu!
[dinging]
It's not meat.
- It's like a, it's like a
fake meat product right?
[dinging]
- It's got sort of like a
tofu-esque quality to it
but there's like so,
there's so much spice in it,
it's kind of overwhelming,
but I'm not exactly sure.
[buzzing]
- I'm just gonna guess
like vegan cured meats,
not meat meats.
[dinging]
- Thought you said this
is a cured meat tasting.
- That's cheating.
- So that,
we both lose on that one.
- Not my favorite of the bunch.
- It's like clearly imitating sausage
and it just has that like crunchy tofu,
vegan vibe, no offense.
- That's not bad, that's really
not bad for vegan sausage.
- Is this just like really
shitty pepperoni or something?
- [Man] It is vegan sausage.
- So shitty pepperoni.
[drum roll sounding]
[upbeat music]
- [Man] So, how do you think you did?
- Terrible, I don't deserve
to be in these hallowed halls,
that's the first and the
last time you'll see me.
- I feel like I got like
a C plus, B minus maybe.
- Best test I ever took
in my life, that's an A,
B plus anyway, that was disgusting.
- Oh my god, that bologna,
we're just gonna go ahead and
get rid of that.
- Okay.
- Chris only got two.
- No.
- Yeah.
- Oh who's the super taster now Chris?
- The Chinese sausage,
that one I'm a little bit
annoyed about, just 'cause it's sweetness
was probably a give away but I don't know,
just like wasn't expecting it.
- I feel like there are like
these distinct categories
and within them there is
so much subtly, you know,
like the difference between
bologna and mortadella,
the difference between,
you know, country ham,
prosciutto, jamon, like it's tricky.
- This really makes you rethink
your relationship to cured meats.
