So there's a great Oscar Wilde quote
which is that
"Everything in life is about sex
except for sex,
which is about power."
When you think about seduction
you probably think about it
in a rather narrow sense
in terms of erotic seduction
or sexual seduction.
But what if I were to suggest to you
seduction is a much deeper,
wider, more mysterious thing
and actually at the heart of it
is the secret to success in life.
My name is Dr Raj Persaud,
I'm a consultant psychiatrist.
I wrote a book on the
psychology of seduction
as being the key secret at the heart
of successful relationships.
So I'm Tempest Rose. I'm an
international burlesque performer,
creative director
and teacher and producer.
If you think about your average day
and the way you make your way
through your average day
and the people you meet:
your work colleagues, your friends
and people who might serve
you in restaurants and so on,
if you learn the art of seduction
and you seduce these people
into liking you
and therefore delivering
what you want,
you'll find it much easier
to navigate your way through life.
Burlesque performers
are good at seduction
because we're trained to understand
that we make choices in how we
present our art to the audience.
On stage, we learn to use our
seduction techniques consciously.
So I know that if I cast
my eye a certain way
the audience will focus
on a certain part of my costuming
or if I move in a certain way it
draws attention to a part of my body
and that will be part of the story
that I want to tell within my act.
So we learn to be very aware
of even just a glance of the eye
or a stroke of the hands on the body.
We use all of these tools
to direct the audience's gaze
because we want to tell them a story.
So all of these micro-movements
are really, really important
in getting to grips with
how you direct the audience
to watch your act and absorb
what you're trying to tell them.
When we perform burlesque at a show,
we're clowning ideas
of what attraction is
and of what sexuality is
and what seduction is.
We're playing with what might be
called the traditional feminine arts
and we're using those
as a springboard really
to play with the audience
about ideas of power
and ideas of that enticement,
seducement and glamour as well.
Find out what that
person's unmet need is
and then fill it in a way
it's never been filled before.
In my clinic, people come in
and they're often unhappy.
Why are they unhappy?
They're unhappy because they're
frustrated with the world.
The world is not giving
them what they want.
It's not giving them a pay rise.
It's not giving them a date
with the people they want
to have a date with.
It's not giving them
popularity or love or affection.
And so people are upset and they have
a demanding approach to the world.
Why is the world not giving
me what I want?
So in order to get
what you want from the world,
you need to understand
this basic transaction.
You're going to have to give
something to the world
to get that thing that you want.
The problem is we're always thinking
about our own unmet needs
and that distracts us from focusing
on the person in front of us.
What are they after in life? What
drives them? What moves them forward?
And in particular,
what their key frustrations are.
A lot of small talk, in terms
of passing the time of day,
doesn't seem to be very directed
but seductive people are actually
using small talk in a particular way.
What they're doing is
they're figuring out the direction
your life is travelling in.
They're trying to figure out
what it is that drives you forward.
What it is that you want.
What it is that you need.
What it is that frustrates you.
They're getting inside your head
and that's the best way to find
out what the unmet need is
and then to fill it in a way that
it's never been filled before.
One of the things that I really want
the audience to go away feeling
is that there is no one rule about
how to be attractive, how to be sexy,
how to be seductive because each
of us have our own individual power.
And the importance of burlesque
is to be an antidote to
the one-dimensional idea that there
is only one way to do these things.
So each performer really
roots into their individuality
and then we magnify it to make this
huge explosion of individual gravitas
and attraction and seduction.
Most people have very low self-esteem
about the idea that they
could learn to be seductive.
They believe you're
either born with it,
you're either drop dead gorgeous
or you're not.
I think seduction
is a learnable skill.
What I mean by that is anyone
can learn to be seductive
and certainly to be more seductive.
So if you learn the skills of
seduction, you can be as seductive
as any of the most gorgeous people
you've ever met in your life.
Thanks for watching! :)
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