Charmanders are adorable little introverts.
They like rainy days, but can’t survive
a downpour because they’ll die if the flames
on their tails went out.
For the same reason, they can’t go for a
swim in a lake to cool down.
These creatures were basically designed to
go extinct.
Charmanders are fire type Pokemon.
They’re strong against grass, bug, steel,
and ice types, but weak against ground, rock,
water, and firefighters.
They wander aimlessly in the wild, hoping
a trainer would catch it to provide shelter
and protection from the world.
Everyone falls in love with them at first,
but once they reach a certain age, they turn
into dastardly Charmeleons.
Charmeleons are ungrateful little punks who
look down on inexperienced trainers.
They refuse to do the dishes or take out the
trash.
They chase away your house guests and sharpen
their claws on your furniture.
When they’re bored, they loaf around the
house and destroy your Netflix recommendation
algorithm.
You start to regret not canceling its evolution.
But it gets even worse.
Once they evolve into Charizards, all they
do is set your house on fire.
They’re extremely enthusiastic about committing
arson and replacing all the fire extinguishers
in the house with novelty ones that expel
silly strings.
When you become homeless and destitute, the
Charizard will fly away to fool another trainer
into taking it in.
Many trainers have fallen victim to their
scams, but they continue to be popular because
of how cool they look.
Both of its mega evolution designs are super
awesome.
Many relief programs have been created to
help the trainers who were abused by their
Charizards.
PSAs about raising Charizards are broadcasted
all across Hoenn, Fiore, Kalos, Sinnoh, and
Alola, but many continued to fall prey to
these Pokemon in Kanto, Johto, and Unova.
Many have taken arms to take matters into
their own hands.
Once the world government sanctioned legal
hunting of these Pokemon, militant groups
full of disgruntled trainers have exploded
in numbers and Charizards have gone deep underground.
It is unknown just how many of these Pokemons
exist today.
Charizard sympathizers have occupied city
halls all across the world to stop these violent
acts.
Tension between these two different ideological
groups have spawned many heated debates and
incited violence.
It’s become a popular platform for political
elections.
In the mean time, Charizards continue to elude
their hunters.
There have been few sightings near areas that
are hard to approach, such as active volcanoes
and mountains over 8,000 meters.
According to some rumors, you can hear these
creatures hacking into your Netflix accounts
at night.
I’m Hannah Montana Savannah and this has
been another Pokemon Phax.
Stay tuned for more factual Pokemon facts.
Have a wonderful Pokemon day.
