[NOISE] You
wanna get high?
>> Yeah, definitely.
We both wanna get high.
Beetlenut binglong
is an amphetamine.
You get up.
It's tingly.
I remember the first time
I ate chewing tobacco,
I drank a half
bottle of Stoli, and
then puked all over this
chick on Family Day at
the University
of Pittsburgh.
So, [INAUDIBLE] I
hope this doesn't end
the same way.
[MUSIC]
>> [INAUDIBLE].
>> They lost
our tripod so
we might have to
rent one out here.
>> We haven't
been an hour and
this dude already
got jacked.
It's not looking good.
This dude's doing
calisthenics with
a strap on.
[MUSIC]
Okay, George,
I will tell you when
we see a good one.
All right,
pull up George.
I'm gonna open my door.
[SOUND] Hello.
Hallelujah, holla back.
[FOREIGN].
>> [FOREIGN].
>> [FOREIGN]
Yes.
The most famous Taiwan
marketing retail ship is
betel nut beauties
all right.
Betel nut is a very
popular amphetamine and
it's like a kind of
chewing tobacco but
it gets you really up.
It's very popular all
throughout Asia but
Taiwan is famous for
beetle nut beauties and
I mean, we don't really
have a beauty here,
this one clearly
seen better days, B.
So they take rice wine
and they put other
things like amphetamines
that'll get you up,
get you excited and, and
kinda everybody has their
own little mixture.
And the trick with
the beetle nut is,
you got it just like
this, bite the top off.
You wanna chew it and
you wanna spit out
the first, right?
Just like you cooking,
throw out the first.
And then you just chew
it like chewing tobacco.
Kinda just gets
you zooming.
I try not to do it too
much because as you can
see George, come here,
smile George.
See?
Before.
After.
[LAUGH]
I'm a kidnapper.
Feed her to my mattress.
Thank you.
[FOREIGN] Bye bye.
[SOUND] Wait,
didn't we already cop
from this, shorty?
[MUSIC]
Oh, watch out,
be careful, be careful.
They will run you over,
B.
This is one of many
night markets in Taiwan.
But Shilin is definitely
the most famous.
Yo, this is the always
imitated, never
duplicated Hot Star large
fried chicken, all right?
You'll see they put a
little seasoning on here.
There's chili powder,
there's a little
five-spice,
salt and sugar.
Here we go.
Listen, listen
to this sound.
It's like rice crispies.
Super crispy and
the real juicy,
bursting with juice, and
then that seasoning.
You just smell it.
It's crazy.
Hot Star.
So this is a sausage
stuffed with sticky rice,
sometimes they'll put
shiitake mushrooms,
some shallots, and
he's wiping it with like
a sweet soy, then he just
came with some pickled
radish over there.
Then there's some
more pickled that we
had earlier today.
[SOUND] Excuse me.
Cucumber shredded, and
then a Taiwanese
red sausage.
Sausage in a sausage.
It's like eating
a sausage,
with a sticky rice
condom on it.
And you enjoy it
a lot more than
you would think.
[NOISE].
>> Penis.
Penis.
>> Ice.
>> Ice?
>> Penis ice.
Penis ice.
Do you like to put
it in your mouth?
[LAUGH] I'd say top five
most popular Taiwanese
night market food is,
this is called
a [FOREIGN].
They use the funkiness
of the bamboo,
the essence of the pork,
some shiitake mushrooms,
some shallots.
And they'll make like a,
a ground mixture,
a ground meat mixture
in that big mixing bowl
is the starch mixture,
then they'll put
the filling in,
once it's filled
it's shaped.
Once it's shaped it
goes here, and steamed.
Then topped with
the sauce over there,
sometimes people do
a little sweet chili too.
The thing about
Asian food that
always bugs
Westerners out,
savory foods with
a gelatinous texture.
This is probably like
the boogeyman food
to an American and
Western palate.
But I love this, and
it's the quintessential
Taiwanese flavor.
Yo.
Mega pause.
[SOUND] Giant
waffle dildos.
You can give to
your friends, and
you can scare
your friends, and
you can take it
to the party and
you will be the focus of
the party because you
brought a box, a $10
box of penis waffles.
What better present,
to like a baby shower.
Hey, ma.
Looks really good.
We've got
the Plaxico Burress here.
We got the Dhani Jones.
We got the Victor Cruz.
We got
the Lawrence Tynes.
Got the Eli Manning.
Yo, look at shorty here.
How could you
get yourself caught
wide open like this?
Who volunteers themselves
for these photos?
Oh my god.
This is the Lexington
Steel chocolate crazy,
crispy dills.
Oh my god.
[LAUGH] I'm not eating
this cuz you have to
lick this
>> Those are.
>> You would have
to suck this.
>> Ice dicks.
>> Kyle. No.
[LAUGH] Stop playing.
[LAUGH]
>> No, no, no, no, no.
>> [LAUGH].
Oh!
>> David, look, look,
check it out,
check it out.
There's nuts in the nuts.
>> I can't do it, dude.
>> You can't do it?
>> I can't.
>> You can't?
>> My grandpa would be so
disappointed.
Who is this?
Who is this?
[LAUGH] You put
it in your mouth!
>> No thank you.
>> Got the handcuffs
on you.
Alcatraz.
Here.
Hey, up, frozen
dills down [LAUGH].
Only in Taiwan will you
find a penis waffle stand
with the tag line
a piece of gayke.
I don't know what else
to say about Taiwan.
I don't know what else to
say about
the night market.
I think this dick in
a box says it all.
Fresh off the boat.
One chain.
Two dills.
I'm Eddie Wall.
We out.
What just happened, B?
Why is everybody
looking at me?
Is there some
shit on my face?
So yo, it's like,
after midnight.
You're wasted, you just
came out of the club,
you didn't catch
any tang, so
where would you and
your homies go?
Not the bar, not nobody's
crib to do some blow,
we at the hottest spot
in fucking Taiwan.
24 hour mother fucking
shrimp city, B.
Let's go.
[MUSIC]
You got a little wack
a mole, jig pub,
you've got some hot shot.
Peep came over here.
Grab a beer.
Go shrimping.
All right?
This could be like
the Soho House,
except, instead of
shorties in the pool,
you've got scrimps.
Got him.
It was the one armed man.
>> [FOREIGN].
>> Oh man.
Oh.
Dude, that shrimp
squirted me.
Like in the world
of sport fishing,
this is like
shrimp hookers.
You pay to play.
There's no gain.
You put your fucking
dick in the water,
you catch scrimps.
Chef, how many
more minutes?
>> I don't know
what you're saying.
>> Chef says we
could eat it.
I'm just curious
if this is
a good look to be eating
shrimp out of that pool.
It's kind of like the
bass that I used to catch
in golf course ponds.
Ooh, look at that.
[MUSIC]
So you look around at
this fucking 24
hour strip club.
A lot of long faces,
couple of SARs masks,
a lot of single dudes.
There's one shorty.
[LAUGH] This has gotta
be one of the most
depressing places to
spend an evening.
When we're not here,
people probably put
their feet in this shit.
It smells like
a hot spring.
I have no idea what's,
this water is
motherfucking green,
and there's no
vegetation.
You really probably
should not
be eating these shrimps.
[LAUGH] I feel like
this is for show and
for sport.
But then there's not
much sport to it, either.
And on that note,
we mother fuckin' out.
Fresh off the boat with
Eddie Huang Taiwan.
Peace.
>> On the next episode
of Fresh Off the Boat.
[MUSIC]
