-Jack, looking great, buddy.
-[ Sighs ] This is so lovely.
I have a chance
to put on a suit.
That has been a rarity of late,
and some human contact, as well,
which is just a joy.
-You look like
you're feeling better.
I know that you had coronavirus.
I'm sorry about that.
What was it like? I mean --
-I had it early! I was, like --
I had, like, pre-Tom Hanks
coronavirus,
before celebrities
were even getting it.
And I had it in the first week
of lockdown, and it was --
Yeah, it was like --
I had it pretty bad,
and I think I'm quite fit
and healthy.
And I'd seen my parents just
before the lockdown had started,
so I was terrified
that I gave it to them.
And it was -- Yeah. It's real.
Wash your hands. Wear a mask.
-Yep. How is your dad doing,
by the way?
We always talk about your dad
when you're on the show.
-Yeah. [ Chuckles ]
Yeah, it's been weird.
I-I haven't been able
to hug him for...
31 years, and so now --
-[ Laughs ]
Oh, we got to work on that.
We got to work on that.
-Yeah. We have a --
-Are you able to see him at all?
Do you get to see him, or --
socially distant?
-Yeah, I actually did
a Father's Day special
for the BBC,
which we filmed at his house.
I was in the garden,
and he was in the house.
And I did a load of, like,
Father's Day surprises for him.
So, I got, like, a big brass
band outside his bedroom window
at 6:00 in the morning to play
"The Dam Busters" theme tune,
which is his favorite song,
although turns out
not his favorite song
at 6:00 in the morning.
And then I was worried
that he wasn't gonna be able
to kind of travel
the world with me,
which is something
that he loves doing,
and I was sad that he was
gonna be stuck in the house,
and I thought he was
a little bit like
the little, old man from "Up,"
and that got me thinking.
So then my second
surprise for him
was that I put like 300 balloons
on the roof of his house.
I was like, "This is amazing!
This is an amazing
Father's Day gift,"
but he did not see it that way.
-That is brilliant!
How are you not being able
to travel and see other people
and, you know -- 'cause you're
always out doing stuff.
Are you getting used
to being by yourself?
-Yeah, I mean, now
our sort of lockdown is over,
and people are going
back into real life.
Gyms are open this week, which
is, like, a big thing for --
I mean, not for me.
I'm not much of a gym guy.
-Oh, really?
-I actually --
[ Chuckling ] Yeah, thank you
for faking surprise there.
-That's my acting --
That's my acting --
No, you're --
-That is exceptional
acting work, Jimmy.
Like, this -- I'll put it down
to a delay on the connection,
but that was way -- "Really?"
You're a great host
and a wonderful actor,
but that was not even believable
for like a split-second.
[ Both laugh ]
-No, I --
-This suit is cut very well,
but beneath it,
I have a body that looks like
it's been drawn by a child.
-[ Laughs ]
-I do go to the gym, though.
I just don't, like --
I'm not, like, a weights guy.
I actually --
[ Laughs ]
I have a story I'll tell you.
I was in a gym once,
and it reminds me
'cause I'm wearing these.
'Cause I don't know about you.
I have this problem
with AirPods.
I do it all the time now,
where I don't realize
that my AirPods have not synched
to my mobile phone,
and my music is, like,
playing to everyone.
-Oh, yes.
-Do you ever do that?
-Yes, of course.
Yeah, I've done that.
Absolutely, yeah.
Like, the Bluetooth
doesn't kick in.
-Yeah, and you're just,
like, sat there,
and everyone's looking at you.
And it's awful, 'cause I also
have terrible music taste.
But I had it in the gym.
When I go to the gym,
I find a little exercise bike
in the corner.
I put on a hoodie.
I get like incline 0.5,
and I put on something mellow,
like a kind of --
like an audiobook.
I like classical music,
film scores.
-Really?
-And then I have a little --
just a little pootle,
like, a quiet, little pootle
in the corner
like a little, old lady
cycling to the grocery store.
And I was doing it. I'm there
with the hoodie on and things --
and everyone is looking at me.
And, like, my initial thought
for some reason was like,
"Wow, they must all
be looking over here
'cause Quadzilla's burning
some serious rubber."
And then I had a slow moment
where it dawned upon me
that the actual reason everyone
in this gym was looking at me
is that I was on a bike,
hoodie up, AirPods in,
playing to the entire gym
the theme tune from "E.T."
Just there --
-[ Laughs ]
You were Elliott!
You were Elliott!
-I'm Elliott! I'm like,
I cannot go back to that gym.
-[ Laughing ] Oh, my God.
That's perfect.
That is perfect. Oh, my gosh.
Hey, I love --
I love the special.
It's called "I'm Only Joking."
In the special,
you talk about your worst gig,
which we've talked about.
I don't want to spoil it, but
it involves the royal family,
and it's a great story.
It's so embarrassing
and awesome.
What would you think
is your second-worst gig?
-I think my second-worst gig
should have been
the best gig ever,
but I made the fatal error of
thinking that it would be that.
And it's when
I got asked to perform
for my soccer team, Arsenal.
And you're a big sports fan.
You support the Red Sox?
Have you performed for them?
-No, I would never do that.
I don't think -- No.
I would never do it.
-I needed that advice,
'cause I was young. I was naive.
I was like,
"This'll be amazing."
I was asked to perform
at the Christmas party
for my soccer team.
-I don't think the Red Sox
would know who I am.
-Well, the Arsenal team
definitely did not know
who I am.
I arrived for
the Christmas party.
I went into the venue.
The organizer took me downstairs
to a bowling alley,
and I was like, "Oh, so --
Where's the stage
that I'm performing on?"
She went, "Oh,
it's not so much a gig.
It's -- They're here to bowl.
We just thought we could
give you a microphone,
and you could crack some jokes
whilst they're bowling."
I was like, "That is
definitely not a thing."
-This hurts me --
This hurts me just hearing this.
-I know. You -- As someone
that's done comedy,
you can understand
how horrific this was.
I stood there with a microphone
at the side of a bowling lane
as all of my heroes bowled,
and I was, like, heckling them
from the side.
None of them knew
I was a comedian
or that I'd been booked
to do stand-up,
so they thought I was
an employee of the venue.
They were looking
over at me going,
"This bowling alley guy
is a little over-familiar."
[ Laughing ] And then --
Then after that --
It got worse,
'cause after the bowling,
they went through
to the next room,
where they had
a karaoke machine set up,
'cause that was the next part
of the evening's festivities.
Because I'd been
on the microphone,
they assumed I was
employed by the venue,
so the club captain,
Mikel Arteta, one of my heroes,
comes up to me. He's like,
"Oh, here's a list of all
the songs that we want played."
I was like, "Oh, no, no,
I'm the comedian."
He was like, "Mate, can you
just put on 'Despacito'?"
So then I became
the karaoke deejay
for the rest of the night.
One of the players came over
and complained to me
that the pizza bites were cold.
I was like, "I don't work here!
I am a professional comedian!
I've played Wembley!"
-Oh, my gosh.
-I was getting their coats
by the end of the night.
It was horrific, Jimmy.
-Also in the special,
by the way, I love --
There's an awkward moment
with two humans in the audience,
if you know
what I'm talking about.
Can you explain what happened?
And that was --
It was a magic moment.
-It was -- It was a -- Yeah.
The comedy gods
were looking down on me.
I was doing a bit in the show
where I was talking
about safe sex,
you know, safety first.
And I was telling
a cautionary tale
about a friend of mine
who had had a one-night stand,
and he got the one
that you can't get rid of --
kids.
-Oh, yeah.
-True story. True story.
I tell that bit.
I look out into the front row,
and I see this old guy
turn to his daughter
and, like, give her,
like, a dig in the ribs.
And I should have let it go,
but I couldn't.
I was like, "Wow, did you just
nudge your daughter
after I did that joke?"
And he looked really mortified.
And I looked at the daughter,
and the daughter was giving it,
like, the full Beyoncé,
pointing at the wedding ring.
It was his wife.
Camera cuts to them,
15,000 people,
like, in hysterics.
I couldn't speak.
I was so embarrassed
that I'd called out this guy.
-It's perfect.
-I mean, to be fair,
if you've got, like, a creepy
age gap in a relationship,
do not sit in the front row
of a comedy show
for a Netflix live recording.
You're only asking for it.
But it's in the show,
and, I mean,
hopefully they are
still a couple
and I haven't
ruined their lives.
But it was -- I couldn't speak
for like two minutes.
Watch it. Like, you --
I was wearing so much makeup,
you can genuinely
see me change color.
I was that embarrassed.
-I want to show everyone a clip
from the special.
Here's a look at,
"I'm Only Joking."
-No one in this entire
10,000-strong arena
has ever made
a decent piece of toast
on the hotel
conveyor belt toaster.
Unfathomably [bleep]
and handily fitted
with a small window
so you can witness your misery
play out in slow-motion.
[ Laughter ]
First time through.
[ Laughter ]
[ Whooshes ]
Still bread.
[ Laughter ]
Second time through.
[ Whooshes ]
Barely warm.
Third time through.
Burnt to a crisp!
[ Laughter ]
-My thanks to Jack Whitehall.
Jack, I miss you, buddy.
His special, "I'm Only Joking,"
is on Netflix now.
I appreciate you being on the
show, pal. Thank you so much.
-I love you. I need to get
a drink. Bye, Jimmy.
-[ Laughs ] Bye.
