In classic WWE fashion, they’ve only left
themselves one week between PPVs, which means
that Payback tomorrow is bound to be just
chock full of rematches from SummerSlam with
absolutely no character development whatsoever...right?
What’s that?
ROMAN REIGNS IS A PAUL HEYMAN GUY?!
...WHAT?
Last night’s episode of SmackDown saw Adam
Pearce’s journey to get the three competitors
in the Triple Threat match for the Universal
Championship to sign the contract, which ended
with Roman Reigns.
Reigns then said he’s going to win on Sunday,
that’s not a prediction, that’s a spoiler.
And Paul Heyman was sitting next to him.
Holy hot damn.
I’ll dive more into the angle itself later
in the video in my SmackDown review, but what
does this mean for SmackDown and WWE?
A report from PWInsider states that the plan
right now is to push Roman as the top heel
on SmackDown.
Guys, it’s a Roman Reigns heel turn!
That thing you’ve always wanted.
Now be happy about it.
The report also states that Braun Strowman
will also continue to be a heel moving forwards.
And interestingly enough, the top babyface
on SmackDown is going to be The Fiend.
This was already seen on last night’s episode
as during a video recap of Roman’s return
at SummerSlam, cheers were overlaid to The
Fiend winning the championship.
Who do you want to see Roman feud with for
the Universal Championship?
Because, he’s definitely winning tomorrow
night.
Let me know in the comments because I’ll
be replying to people FROM OUTTA HIS NEW SPARKLING
WHITE TEETH!
But Paul Heyman wasn’t the only shock return
on SmackDown, and no I’m not talking about
Sami Zayn.
I’m talking about Kenny Omega!
...Who was part of the ThunderDome audience.
Twitter user @mckenzieas93V2 tweeted an image
of the SmackDown ThunderDome, where current
AEW Tag Team Champion Kenny Omega was seen
quite happily watching along.
Very clever, it’s clearly just a picture
of Omega, he wasn’t really watching SmackDo-[JUMP
CUT]
“I was just trying to have a good time,
I honestly didn’t think anyone would notice.”
Oh.
So he was watching.
Nice.
The ratings are in for this week’s episode
of AEW’s Thursday Night Dynamite, no thanks
to Kenny, the traitor.
Despite being outside its usual Wednesday
timeslot, AEW Dynamite upped its viewership
to 813,000 viewers, an increase from last
week’s 755,000.
Conversely though, Dynamite dropped its ratings
in the 18-49 demo from 0.31 last week to a
0.29 this week.
Next week is the go-home show for All Out
and they are returning to their usual Wednesday
night timeslot and they are unopposed as NXT
is running Super Tuesday, so you’d expect
next week’s show to be even higher.
But it’s not all about AEW as Payback is
tomorrow night, and noticeable by their absence
on last night’s SmackDown was Retribution,
wait sorry...RETRIBUTION.
But we might not be waiting too long to see
them again, as one of the people suspected
to be part of the group, Dominik Dijakovic,
who has blacked out his Twitter for months
now, tweeted a series of numbers before quickly
deleting it.
The numbers, when put through a cipher, spell
out the word ‘Sunday’.
Turns out Dijak just wants some ice cream.
Because...sundae.
Retribution will probably be at Payback.
But enough of that pesky news, let’s get
into what you really came here for, because
it’s time for a review of last night’s
episode of WWE SmackDown in about 5 minutes!
After a recap of Roman Reigns returning at
SummerSlam (BREAKING NEWS, THE BIG DOG IS
BACK), Adam Pearce is backstage in Vince McMahon’s
office, and Vince tells him he needs signatures
from the three people competing for the Universal
Title at Payback, before handing him an outfit
to wear so he can enter the Firefly Funhouse?
Huh?
Also I’m going to address this problem once
and only once, the crowd noises this week
were f****** obnoxious.
It was a constant drone of noise, instead
of ups and downs like actual cheers do.
It just covered some of the people talking
and didn’t add anything.
It was like those f****** vuvuzelas in World
Cup.
Sort it out.
Anyway, the first match of the night was Jeff
Hardy vs Shinsuke Nakamura, the former of
which who had issued an open challenge for
the Intercontinental Championship, which AJ
Styles was not happy about.
He came out to lambast Hardy for winning with
the knee brace, which actually played into
this match too as Hardy used the brace again
to turn the tide of the match, before hitting
a Twist of Fate and Swanton for the win.
Is Hardy using the brace intentionally?
Or just a happy accident?
That’s actually quite a good story to tell,
I’m curious to see if they build on this.
But the segment’s not over there because
Sami Zayn is back!
He comes out with the Intercontinental Championship,
calling Hardy a fraud and a fake champion.
I was so excited to see Zayn back...it’s
just a shame it was a bit of a pants return
for him.
Because later, he was backstage with Kayla
Braxton who made him out to look like a massive
dick for not being around for months, WE’RE
IN A PANDEMIC GUYS, and in another backstage
promo later, his old teammates of Cesaro and
Nakamura weren’t too happy to see him either,
saying he’d been gone for 4 months without
so much as a phone call, again, making him
look like a massive dick for taking time off
during a pandemic!
But don’t worry guys, no consequences for
taking time off, remember.
There was a Firefly Funhouse next, where Adam
Pearce came in, dressed as a postman, and
then Wyatt signed the contract.
And then Pearce left.
...what the f*** was that?
How would Vince know to give him the postman
outfit?
Why did he have to wear it?
I’m so confused.
Matt Riddle came out to the ring to call out
King Corbin next, who instead made a match
between Riddle and Shorty G, which Riddle
won in about 2 minutes.
I’ve been doing this review for longer than
the match was.
Riddle beats up Corbin a little bit after,
and after another backstage promo, Corbin
says he wants Riddle at Payback.
Sasha Banks & Bayley came out next, and Bayley
had a brilliant promo here, lamenting Sasha
losing her title at SummerSlam, and says it’s
all her fault...for letting Sasha challenge
for the title in the first place, she knows
her record, that she can’t defend a title.
Then the segment came crashing down when Shayna
Baszler and Nia Jax came on the titantron
and said they were going to win the tag titles
at Payback.
I’m sure they said other things, but it
was all so generic it blended into each other.
In yet another backstage promo, Drew Gulak
is looking for Braun Strowman, and then finds
him immediately, smashing a chair over his
back, before handing the chair to Adam Pearce,
and walking off.
Okay?
Strowman then says he’s going to squash
Gulak, and guess what, he did.
That’s Wyatt and Strowman that have signed
the contract, just Roman to go.
I’m sure that’ll be uneventful.
Tensions build between all the teams it seems,
because Bayley & Banks can’t be the only
ones.
Cesaro wasn’t happy Nakamura went out for
an Intercontinental Championship match without
so much as a heads up, and Kalisto and Lince
Dorado continued their argument, with Kalisto
telling Dorado to watch how it’s done against
Cesaro.
The match itself was awesome, some really
great lucha things going on in this one, but
it was super short, only going a few minutes,
before Nakamura tried to get involved unsuccessfully
as Lucha House Party accosted him, but the
distraction allowed Cesaro to get the rollup
win.
We’re going backstage YET AGAIN to see Nikki
Cross holding the mug Alexa first got her,
before she’s joined by Alexa who has her
hair in pigtails.
Uh oh.
And she’s got a singular dreadlock.
Uh oh.
Cross says her new hairdo isn’t a good idea,
it reminds her of The Fiend and Alexa’s
expression suddenly goes very blank, before
she snaps back into reality, and then fires
up at Cross, saying she thought friends supported
each other, so much for friendship, and she
smashes the mug Nikki was holding and walks
off.
TENSION BETWEEN TEAMMATES?
MUST BE SMACKDOWN.
The main event of the show was a six-man tag
of Big E & Heavy Machinery vs Sheamus, Miz
& Morrison.
Wait, what happened to that advertised segment
of Big E on Miz TV?
I mean I’m not complaining, this show had
enough bloody promos as it is.
The match was fine, with Big E picking up
the win over Miz, which was nice.
But the night wasn’t over, because we cut
BACKSTAGE...AGAIN...and Roman Reigns is there
with the contract, saying he’ll be there
on Sunday, he’ll win the Universal Championship,
that’s not a prediction, that’s a spoiler.
The camera pans over, and Paul Heyman is sitting
next to him, who simply says “Believe.
That.”
Hoo baby.
This is brilliant for many, many reasons,
but Roman having a mouthpiece is awesome,
because Roman is best when he’s brooding
and can deliver a seething one-liner, that’s
his best promo style.
Having a guy like Heyman working with Reigns
is going to do wonders for him.
Some of Reigns’ best work came against Brock
Lesnar, when he was working closely with Heyman,
I think they can make some magic.
I’m genuinely pumped for Payback, mainly
because, try not to kill me comments, I want
to see Roman win the Universal Championship,
and that would have been completely unheard
of before this show.
What a turnaround.
Let me know what you thought of the show in
the comments, but for me, overall this show
was...not great.
Roman with Paul Heyman is a masterstroke,
and it was great to see Sami Zayn but good
god, there so many promos.
To put it in perspective, there were 5 matches
on this show.
2 of them were squash matches, 1 of them went
less than 5 minutes, so there were 2 actual
match on the card.
In contrast, there were 15 promo segments,
12 of which were backstage, 2 were in the
ring, 1 was the Firefly Funhouse, and on top
of that there was the promo from Riddle to
goad out Corbin, and there was a picture-in-picture
promo from Cesaro during the Hardy/Nakamura
match.
If maths isn’t your strong suit, let me
explain it a different way: THAT’S A LOT
OF F******* PROMOS.
Some of the promos were really good, but it
just didn’t give the viewer any time to
digest what they’d just seen, it was promo,
promo, promo.
So, somehow, on a show that saw Sami Zayn
return and Roman Reigns align himself with
a returning Paul Heyman, this gets a Smack
Bang in the Middle 3/5.
Is Vince McMahon actually good?
Find out with Luke’s new episode over on
partsFUNknown, but keep it quiet, I don’t
think Mr. Davis will like it.
And is Wade Barrett returning full-time to
WWE?
Find out by pressing the video below that.
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I’ve been Chopper Pete Quinnell, Jam That
Jam.
