>> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A 
VERY FUNNY MAN WITH A GREAT 
COMEDIAN NAME.
YOU CAN SEE HIM HEADLINE THE 
CHARLESTON COMEDY FESTIVAL IN 
SOUTH CAROLINA ON JANUARY 19TH.
MAKING HIS TELEVISION DEBUT, 
PLEASE WELCOME DUSTY SLAY.
>> ALL RIGHT!
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
WELL, I GREW UP IN A TRAILER 
PARK WHICH WASN'T THAT FUN.
SO I'M NOT SURE WHY THEY CALL IT
A PARK.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
THERE WASN'T NO RIDES IN THERE.
THERE'S A LOT OF MONEY OUT 
THERE.
A LOT OF DIFFERENT KINDS OF 
MONEY.
YOU KNOW THERE'S LIKE OLD MONEY,
NEW MONEY, DRUG MONEY, BLOOD 
MONEY.
WE DIDN'T HAVE ANY OF THAT.
WHAT WE HAD WAS GOOD MONEY.
THAT'S WHEN YOUR PARENTS BUY YOU
SOMETHING YOU DON'T LIKE, THEY 
GO “WE PAID GOOD MONEY FOR 
THAT!”
GOOD MONEY BUYS THE WORST STUFF 
TOO.
IT'S NEVER ANYTHING GOOD.
GOOD MONEY BUYS LIKE AIR BRUSHED
T-SHIRTS WITH YOUR NAME ON IT, 
FROM THE COUNTY FAIR.
I HAD A LOT OF T SHIRTS WITH 
WOLVES ON THEM GROWING UP.
MY MOM THOUGHT I'D LOOK GOOD IN 
A WOLF T SHIRT.
SHE WAS LIKE THE MORE WOLVES THE
BETTER.
PUT THEM ALL OVER THAT THING.
MAYBE PUT A LITTLE MOON ON THAT 
THING.
GIVE THAT WOLF SOMETHING TO HOWL
AT.
I HAD A HAT GROWING UP THAT JUST
HAD MY NAME AIRBRUSHED ACROSS 
THE TOP.
JUST SAID “DUSTY,” RIGHT ACROSS 
THE TOP.
THAT'S JUST SO I WOULDN'T GET 
KIDNAPPED.
KIDNAPPER SEES THAT HAT HE'S 
LIKE, “NAH HIS FAMILY AIN'T GOT 
NO MONEY.
JUST GIVE HIM THE CANDY.
JUST LET HIM HAVE THE CANDY.
HE PROBABLY AIN'T HAD CANDY IN A
LONG TIME.”
I'M OUT THERE TRYING TO GET IN 
THE VAN.
THEY'RE LIKE, “NO, NO.
WE ARE KIDNAPPERS.”
I'M LIKE, “I KNOW, I'M A KID.
TRYING TO GET NAPPED UP IN HERE.
I LIVE IN NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE 
NOW.
I LIVE IN NASHVILLE AND LAST 
DECEMBER WE HAD A TORNADO 
WARNING AND I WAS LISTENING TO 
THE RADIO AND THEY WERE TELLING 
US WHAT TO DO DURING THE TORNADO
WARNING BASED ON WHAT KIND OF 
HOUSE YOU LIVE IN.
THEY SAID IF YOU HAVE A HOUSE 
WITH A BASEMENT, GO INTO THE 
BASEMENT.
IF YOU LIVE IN A HOUSE WITHOUT A
BASEMENT, GO INTO A BATHROOM OR 
A SMALL ROOM.
AND THEY WERE LIKE, IF YOU LIVE 
IN A TRAILER PARK, WE WANT YOU 
TO GO TO A NEIGHBOR‘S HOUSE OR 
GO OUTSIDE AND LAY DOWN IN THE 
DITCH!
THAT'S THE REAL NEWS.
THEY WERE LIKE “LISTEN, WE DON'T
KNOW WHAT TO TELL YA.
HELL, YOU MADE SOME BAD 
DECISIONS ALONG THE WAY, NOW 
YOU'VE GOT TO DEAL WITH THIS.”
THEY'RE LIKE, “YEAH I KNOW IT'S 
RAINING OUT THERE AND THAT DITCH
IS GOING TO BE FULL OF WATER BUT
JUST GET DOWN IN IT.
YEAH IT'S DECEMBER, IT'S GOING 
TO BE COLD.
YOU'RE PROBABLY GOING TO GET 
SICK, BUT JUST GET DOWN IN 
THERE.”
I LIKE THAT THEY THINK THAT 
THERE'S A DITCH LOCATED NEXT TO 
EVERY TRAILER PARK.
LIKE IT JUST COMES WITH IT.
EVERY TRAILER PARK GETS THEIR 
OWN TORNADO DITCH.
NO TRASH IN THIS DITCH UNLESS 
IT'S WHITE TRASH.
WE'RE HAVING A GOOD TIME.
I LIKE THAT THE OTHER OPTION 
THEY GAVE YOU WAS TO GO TO A 
NEIGHBOR ‘S HOUSE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF 
TRAILER PARKS THEY KNOW ABOUT, 
BUT AT THE TRAILER PARK I GREW 
UP IN, MY NEIGHBOR ALSO LIVED IN
A TRAILER.
IT'S LIKE THEY JUST WANTED US TO
MEET UP IN ONE, MAYBE WEIGHT IT 
DOWN.
THAT WAY THE TORNADO COULDN'T 
CARRY IT AWAY.
WE WEREN'T REAL POOR THOUGH, WE 
JUST DIDN'T HAVE EVERYTHING, YOU
KNOW?
LIKE I NEVER GOT ICE CREAM 
GROWING UP.
MY MOM USED TO JUST POUR MILK 
INTO A BOWL, THEN SHE'D CALL ME 
INTO THE ROOM AND GO, “WELL, 
YOU'RE TOO LATE.”
ALL RIGHT.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: WE'RE GOING TO GET Y
