Now, yesterday, yesterday,
Donald Trump gave
a major economic policy speech
in Detroit,
a city that
he understands fundamentally,
because it, too,
has filed for bankruptcy.
And, uh, after a policy speech
filled with promises
and lofty claims, it's only
fitting that we turn it over
to our own Desi Lydic
in another installment
of What the Actual Fact?
-♪ ♪
-(cheering, applause)
Thanks, Trevor.
Trump's speech yesterday
was like a Rihanna song.
He shouted "work, work, work"
a bunch of times,
and that was pretty much
all most people heard.
So, let's get to the details,
starting with Trump's take
on what he calls the Obama-
Clinton employment numbers.
There are now
94.3 million Americans
outside of the labor force.
It was 80.5 million
when President Obama
took office,
an increase
of 14 million people.
So, let's see.
14 million more people
 are now outside the workforce,
but much of that has nothing
to do with unemployment.
It's because our older
baby boomers are retiring--
In fact, almost 10,000
retirees every day.
So although this statement
is true,
Trump is ignoring
the realities of aging.
So I give this statement
a John Travolta.
(laughter)
Here's another criticism
Trump had
of the Obama-Clinton economy.
Nearly 12 million people have
been added to the food stamp,
and these people are growing,
and it's growing so rapidly
since President Obama
took office.
Okay, first of all,
food stamp rolls did go up,
mostly because of the recession
which Obama inherited from Bush.
But Trump says those numbers
are still growing rapidly,
when in reality, the number
of people on food stamps
has been declining
for the last three years.
So, this claim is mostly false.
Trump competently says something
is growing, but we all know
it's shrinking,
so this gets one whiskey dick.
(cheers and applause)
Yeah.
(cheers and applause)
Let's move on
to Trump's ec-economic plans.
First, tax reform.
Finally, no family will have
to pay the death tax.
American workers have paid taxes
their whole lives,
and they should not be taxed
again at death.
It's just plain wrong,
and most people agree with that.
(applause)
We will repeal it.
Yes, American workers do pay
taxes throughout their careers,
and Americans can be taxed when
they die, but the only folks
who actually pay a state tax
or death tax, as Trump calls it,
are those with estates worth
more than $5.4 million,
meaning that tax has no impact
on 99.8% of Americans.
So, what Trump's talking
about is technically true,
but irrelevant
to almost everyone.
I give this one co-worker
talking nonstop about CrossFit.
(laughter and applause)
I don't care how many
kettlebell swings
your tiny body can do, Ronny.
I gave birth this year.
(cheering and applause)
Yeah. Thank you.
Thank you.
And finally, we need to look
at the most controversial
promise in Trump's
entire economic address.
Our lower business tax
will also end job-killing
corporate inversions
and cause trillions
in new dollars in wealth
to come pouring
into our country.
And, by the way,
into titties,
like right here in Detroit.
(laughter)
I'm sorry, can we just...
can we see that one more time?
And, by the way,
into titties,
like right here in Detroit.
(laughter)
Okay, okay, okay.
Let's not jump
to conclusions here.
I know we all want to believe
that Donald Trump
said "titties,"
but it is possible that
it was just an audio glitch.
Thankfully, we are
a professional, fact-checking
operation with the most advanced
audio analysis tools
in the business.
So, we can determine
definitively if Donald Trump,
in fact, did say "titties."
Let's do a careful analysis.
TRUMP: ...into titties,
 like right here in Detroit.
Mm... yeah, no.
It-it's still really hard
to tell,
so let's try, let's try slowing
it down a bit.
(very slowly):
 ...into titties, titties,
 like right here in Detroit.
Okay, I-I'm still not sure.
Maybe if I just...
 Titties. T-titties.
-(music plays)
-♪ T-titties ♪
♪ T-t-titties ♪
♪ In Detroit ♪
-♪ T-t-titties ♪
-Yeah.
♪ T-t-titties ♪
(cheering and applause)
♪ ♪
Yeah, it's hard to tell
if these titties are real,
but I can tell you that
"Titties Like Detroit"
is a hot (bleep)ing track,
so go stream it on Tidal.
Trevor.
Thank you, Desi.
Desi Lydic, everyone!
