-The Fyre Festival.
-(laughter)
It's the greatest music concert
that never happened.
You've probably watched
the documentaries
on Hulu or Netflix that show
how this whole thing was
the biggest scam
from start to finish,
and if you haven't watched them,
please go and watch them.
Like, I'm begging you.
You have to watch these.
I'll...
Like, I'll do anything to get...
I'll suck your (bleep).
(laughter)
Go and watch them.
Anyway, because many...
because many supermodels
convinced people
to pay for the festival
by saying they would be there,
many are now asking
if those models should also
be held legally responsible.
WOMAN: CBS News.com reports
Kendall Jenner
and other top models
can be subpoenaed
after the fiasco
over the Fyre Festival.
Several celebrities,
including Hailey Bieber
and Bella Hadid were paid
to appear in the promotional
video for the 2017
music festivities
in the Bahamas,
but the event was cancelled
at the last moment,
stranding hundreds of people.
Well, this week, a judge signed
off on subpoenas submitted
by the trustee overseeing
the festival's bankruptcy.
The models could be forced to
turn over the money they made.
Okay, now, look,
I get why people are pissed,
but I don't know
if you can go after the models
because some con artists
hired them to make an ad
for a festival
that didn't happen, right?
The only thing the models might
be guilty of is being super hot,
all right, and even then,
I don't know.
Like, I'm gonna need
to see a lot more evidence.
I don't know. I'm...
I'm an impartial guy.
That's all I'm saying.
The truth... the truth is,
making something look better
in an ad than it is in real life
is-is just advertising.
It's, like, ads
for Spirit Airlines show planes
 not falling apart in the sky,
but no one sues them.
Spirit airlines-- we're
the Fyre Festival of the sky.
(laughter)
Speaking of viral scams--
the anti-vaccine movement.
Over the past 20 years, there's
been a growing number of people
who believe that kids
shouldn't get vaccinated,
because the vaccines
are more dangerous
than the diseases
that they prevent.
And clearly,
the diseases heard that,
and they were like,
"Oh, it's on."
Now the new fears about
the growing measles outbreak.
A state of emergency has been
declared in Washington state
as the number
of confirmed cases climbs to 35.
MAN: The measles is
 spectacularly contagious.
One thing that's important,
if you do think
you have the measles,
do not go to the emergency room.
You could infect others.
Just call your doctor first.
And when you call your doctor,
your doctor's gonna be like,
"Oh, now you want my advice?
"Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha.
No, no, I'm joking.
Take two "D"s and call me
in the morning."
"'D's?"
"Yeah, Deez Nuts.
Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha!"
(laughter)
Guys, I'm sorry.
No one should be dying
from a disease
that was cured 60 years ago.
It's 2019, and people are dying
from measles?
As a society, there are things
we shouldn't die from anymore,
okay?
Measles is such
a throwback disease.
It's like being hit
by a cannonball,
or getting run over
by a chariot.
That doesn't happen anymore
if you don't live
in Brooklyn, okay?
(laughter)
