Facebook is trending and the news is alive.
ladies and gentlemen: last night, in our very
own Somerville, tragedy struck.
Scak.
Scak!
The event took place at 11:32 eastern standard
time.
Three perpetrators were caught on the library's
found footage camera.
As you can see, they're throwing books at
the library's wall, in an attempt to open
a bookhole.
Little information is is known so far about
the perpetrators' identities, witnesses or
even personal ambition.
All that is known is that three books were
thrown at the wall in an attempt to s--
I'm gonna toss it over to our second agent, Federical
Slezynger.
Somerville Library houses some of the world's
largest collections of books in the Somerville
area.
We're here at Somerville Library.
One of the first libraries ever made in America.
Somerville Library--
Somerville Library houses
the largest collection of Japanese Manga in
the Somerville area and beyond.
Housing over 200 books from Ray Bradbury to
Haruki Murakami to [REDACTED].
Somerville Library houses the largest collection
of Japanese Manga in the Boston area.
We're here at Somerville Public Library.
The one-stop-shop for all your book needs,
here in the Somerville area.
With one third of that being Japanese Manga.
We're here at Simmerville Central Public Library.
The scene of the crime for these bookholling
situations.
Housing over 200 books from Haruki Murakami
to Raya Burabadbury--
all these books are now in a dentrimental situation.
And this ain't no sexual act, you kids.
This is no joke.
I know what you're thinking.
How does this guy know so much?
I'll tell you.
We interviewed a leading bookhole scientist,
Earl Sweatshirt, to get the latest details
on the phenomenon that's sweeping the nation.
SKAK NEWS
Can we pull these windows down?
Hi so we are here with--
Earl.
Editions.
Earl, what--
Well isn't that nice.
Now I'm here with Earl Editions.
Tell them your name.
Earl Editions.
I used to be a peasant but I prefer to be
an Earl.
If there's anything I love, it's curling up
with a glass of Earl Grey tea and reading
my favorite Haruki Murakami novel.
And if that's the only thing we share, we're
in for a good program tonight.
Hmm.
