Please welcome this week's
special guest, Miller.
So, Steve, what is Miller to you?
This is Miller, he presented me
with a trophy after I rowed two miles
down a river on an inflatable rhino.
Gabby, how do you know Miller?
This is Miller and I know Miller
because we often take
one of my dogs flying.
And finally, David, what's
your relationship with Miller?
This is Miller, I accidentally
outbid him for a cuckoo clock
when I sneezed at an auction.
- Lee's team where do you want to
start? - Shall we start with, who do
- you want to start with, Steve? - Yeah.
So, just remind us again, because
I'm confused with the words...
So, he gave me a trophy after
I rowed two miles down a river
on an inflatable rhinoceros.
What a man. Ah.
LAUGHTER
Katherine, did I ever tell you about
the time I rowed down the river
on a real rhinoceros?
On its horn. Just saying.
Why have you kept in touch, Steve?
Ah, well we haven't.
Did you not like him?
It takes place in Fort William in
Scotland and I very rarely go there.
And is this an annual event?
Yes, it's the river that runs down
the side of Ben Nevis,
which is a white water river
and it's run on lilos usually.
I've been on that river. Amazingly,
I honeymooned very near there.
- You weren't there at the time that
this event was taking place?
- No, but I know that that is true.
That Fort William is near Ben Nevis,
so that bit...
This is the bit I'm worried about
now because I need your help
and so far you've gone, "Oh, this
is true, there is a mountain."
What's the such a big deal
about Miller that he got
to present the trophy?
God, that's very aggressively put.
Yeah, what does Miller do? The race
the race is run to raise money for
the Lochaber mountain rescue.
Not run, it's sailed.
It's PADDLED to raise money for
the mountain rescue and...
Ah, what a man.
Was everyone else on an
inflatable animal?
Everyone else was on lilos.
As in the traditional - what I'm
thinking of as a lilo is -
just like a bed that's inflatable.
Traditional what you sleep on
when you go camping, yeah.
So, it's a fun event where it's like
the water equivalent of a fun run.
You've got to try and stay on
in a hostile environment
- on a lilo that's not designed
for it. - Exactly.
So, why have you, why did you choose
to do it a rhino?
I was going off script.
I went down to Toys R Us to try
and get what I thought would be a -
I wanted to get an inflatable
T Rex but they didn't have one
they just had a rhino.
So, you're saying there's a great
big Toys R Us next to Ben Nevis?
That's not true. That's not true.
All right, who are you
going to move onto?
OK, Gabby. Tell me again,
something about dogs flying.
So... Miller has his pilot's licence
- and we take my dog flying
occasionally. - We?
- Me and Miller.
- You two take the dog?
- Yes, Miller flies the plane.
- And what do you do?
- You're a passenger or are you
learning to fly? - No, I... Not yet,
I'm not learning to fly yet.
- But, um... - That's instantly much
more credible because I thought you
meant that your dog flew on it's own.
I'd already excluded you from this,
but now I understand.
It's not you who wants to go, it's
the dog that wants to go, Gabby?
No, initially I wanted to go.
It was an accident the first time.
We... he kept his light aircraft
at an airfield and I had taken...
I was taking the dog for a walk
in a park nearby
and basically I was supposed to meet
my husband to hand the dog over.
He'd got delayed and I turned up
and I was about to say,
I'm really sorry, it's not going to
happen today, I've got the dog,
and Miller's up for it and he said,
- Just bring the dog with you. - Right,
and... - And that was the first time.
- So, what happened the second time?
- Well, the dog just loved it.
The dog, like, you know...
- Did it tell you?
When this man approached you with
a plane nearby you just, you...
..you were happy to assume
he was a pilot that would take
your dog up, did you?
No, we, we pre-arranged
the whole thing.
I don't think you've told us
the breed.
- Boxer. - Boxer. - Boxer.
- Boxer's a big dog.
- Milo's a boxer. Yeah. - Big dog,
a boxer. Does he wear a seatbelt?
- Yes, but he doesn't, honestly he's
so laid back... - Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- He just kind of like sinks into the
seat and... - He wears a seat belt?
- Well, you strap him in...
I know how to put a seat belt on.
Are you are you sure he's not
terrified?
He's never peed himself on these
little hops.
Yeah, but what about the boxer?
OK. So, this is the bit now, it's
the detail. It's the seat belt.
- A dog in a seat belt. - A seat belt
on, because the first time, because
I didn't know if he'd react OK,
so I being his, you know,
his mummy. His...
- No, you're not his mummy, Gabby.
Either that or your husband is very
ugly. - No, but in his...
Final question. If there's a bit
of turbulence, do you ever
turn round to him and say,
"Is it windy, Miller?"
LAUGHTER
Now, what about, what about David
and the cuckoo clock?
Oh, wow. There you go.
Well, I'd be interested to know
what your accidental out bid was,
for what amount?
I think it was about £250.
And had you been bidding up to that
point then stopped? I had not, no.
- You'd not bid at all? - No. - What were
you there for?
I was there because my wife
wanted to buy a dining room table.
MFI was shut, was it?
No, because, as you've had
occasion to mention, Lee,
I'm terribly, terribly posh.
Right. And so you could feel it
coming on as the bit, were you
worried that this was going to...
No, I wasn't. I didn't think this
would happen. I think this
is a ridiculous thing.
If you'd told me beforehand would
this happen, I'd say, no. I would
never believe anything
like that could happen.
You'll have to convince us,
we're struggling.
I get hay fever at some times of the
year and this was one of those times.
You're not going end this story
with, weirdly every time I sneeze,
I hold up a number?
I didn't hold up the number,
I sort of had the number there,
but I didn't hold it up.
What did you do then?
I, I sneezed. Surely, if the system
is you hold up a number,
at some point your hand must have
come up, as well. You're echoing
my very words.
That's what I said. Of course,
it's a ridiculous situation.
Someone sneezed, they just happen
to have the number slightly visible
and the auctioneer takes that as a
bid. What sort of a system's that?
Let's have a quick
re-enactment of the moment.
I mean, you were at 230, 240, £240
going to the gentleman in the nice
soft crushed velvet...
HE SNEEZES
- £250... - What? No! What kind
of system is this?
How lovely that David Mitchell
has bid for this
and the money will go to a good
home. Thank you, David.
Oh, no. Please, auctioneer...
Oh, all right, I'll be quiet.
This is so embarrassing.
So, how did you make the connection
with the Miller?
Because I was aware that he'd made
the penultimate bid, but I tiptoed
up to him afterwards and asked
if he wanted to buy it for the...
For his last bid.
..for his last bid.
So, I would only have been...
I think it'd been about a tenner
less than I bid.
But if you exploded like that,
I don't believe you would have
tiptoed.
And I probably didn't actually
tiptoe. I wasn't actually...
I was probably resting on the heels
of my feet. But I, I walked,
what I thought was quite discreetly.
Although, I accidentally bought
a couple of vases on the way.
All right, we need an answer. So...
Is Miller Steve's prize presenter,
Gabby's pet pilot or David's
clock collector?
Well, I believe that he gets hay
fever, David,
but none of the rest of it.
- So, you believe the cool thing? - Yeah.
- So, Katherine you're saying it's
not David? - I don't think it's David.
I believe Steve's won trophies
but none of the rest of it.
So, I believe Gabby. I think
that all sounds very true.
- You believe she likes to take her
boxer dog flying? - Yep. - With Miller.
- Yep. - I don't think you can take
a dog on a plane, you know.
THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER
- You can take dogs on planes if you
go through the correct channels.
- Really? - You can.
They sent a dog into space.
They never got it back!
They sent a dog into space!
I don't believe Gabby's story,
but I do think he looks like a pilot.
Now, you see, if we were
to add looks, I would say,
it's the only time
I am going towards David.
He looks like a man who's
desperate for a cuckoo clock.
- He looks like a man whose budgie
recently died... - Mm. Aw. - ..and he's
looking for some company.
Once an hour, but just
for a split second.
- I'm with Gabby. - You think
it's Gabby, you're saying...
- I say Steve. All three of us
are agreed it's not David. Yes. - Yep.
We're going with Gabby
and the flying.
You're saying it's Gabby,
it's the dog in the plane.
- Miller, would you please reveal
your true identity. - OK, I'm Miller,
I presented Steve with a trophy
for riding down
a river on an inflatable rhino!
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Yes, Miller gave Steve a trophy.
Thank you, Miller.
