Hello friends this is Youheum. Today I'll
be sharing how I stay true to my
authentic self even through resistance,
judgment,
criticism, and verbal bullying. for those
of you who just joined me, I'm an extreme
minimalist living in a furniture-free
home. I also practice sustainability,
veganism, spirituality, and mindfulness
through the teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh.
It may seem to some that my lifestyle, 
career path, financial approach, diet, and
belief system are very different from
the norm.  I  completely understand
how this can make some people curious
and intrigued but at the same time
uncomfortable. My practice can be
perceived as a challenge or even as a
threat against the majority. Also, be sure
to share with me how your journey has
been for being unique and creative. Do
you have supportive people or are you
dealing with unsupportive people in your
life? What are some common assumptions
that you get? Let us know in the comments below.
As a creative individual walking a
unique path, we can easily become the
target of criticism and judgment. But on the flip side of the coin,
we can also become the attacker
because we want to defend our position,
our mindset, belief system, and it
might just be because we want to project
our passive aggression or anger onto
someone for not being accepted and loved completely.
So this means that just
because we are the opposite of the norm
we're not always the victim of criticism.
So we can also be the person who
criticize other people for having a
different lifestyle. We can easily
fall into the trap of being the attacker
who attacks the majority. I believe that
the choices that we make in life and the
practices we commit to, no matter what it
is are all results of our own experience
in history and this ultimately
contributes to the decisions that we
make including what we eat, how we dress,
how we consume, what we read, and
decide to learn. Most of us have the
understanding that our culture, custom,
rituals, our habits, and belief all shape
us as a whole. Which means that when we deny a part of someone, we are denying
their entire background, beingness,
and most importantly we are denying the
universal need for freedom. The need for
uniqueness and variety which I think is
the most precious gift that we can hold
in this present moment.
I also believe that when we refuse to
show flexibility and gentleness, we're
forgetting about compassion. When we
assume something about someone and when
we judge and criticize someone for the
lifestyle choices that they make, we are
not able to offer understanding for
their mental health, their physical
health, their educational background, and
the kind of path that they have taken in
their life. That's why I find it
important to continue to spread the
message of compassion, loving-kindness,
and acceptance even to those on the
opposite path of my lifestyle. To those
who are non-vegans, to those who are not
practicing minimalism like maximalist,
and even to those who were unsustainable and
unethical, because I know that there's
a part of me who is also like them.
I know that I was like that in my past as well. So I can offer understanding to these people.
I feel that we are not so
different in the big picture.
By cultivating this mindset, we can remain
neutral even when there's conflict.
Because the purpose of contrast is not
to promote violence against each other
but to grow together and to add to the
transformation of each other.
If you want to know more about this
mindset, feel free to invite more
mindfulness and self-awareness into your
life with my ebook.
For this, I collaborated with my art therapist
sister Youhjung who also has her own art
therapy and healing channel Thirsty For
Art. I know that some of you already
watch her video. I'm very grateful for
that!
She recently did a video on
mindfulness and body scan art therapy so
feel free to watch this and visit the
link in the descriptions for my Mindful
Life Workbook. Sometimes it's hard to be
objective and to have a clear
understanding of the situation when we
have been the subject of verbal abuse.
This can be coming from our loved
ones which make it more difficult to
endure and identify. Mainly because they are so close to us. It is easy to identify
criticism when it's so in our face and
straight forward. It can sound like...
"Oh I hate minimalism and minimalist are
all stupid" or it can also be...
"Sustainability is stupid or wrong
because Earth doesn't need any saving
and earth is going to be destroyed
anyway." But there are also more complex
forms of criticism like manipulation.
Which projects unmet expectations and
needs in a passive-aggressive way. And
the most common thing that I have heard
in my own journey are manipulative words
that are intended to shame and guilt
trap me. So that I can do what that
person, that attacker wants me to do.
For example, if I were the attacker I would
be saying something like this...
"I thought that you were the most
perfect human being but you ended up
being an utter disappointment. It's
all your fault that I'm angry and sad
because you didn't follow my
expectations.  You are not the ideal
version of human being that you should
be." This statement can also be
followed with some sort of justification
and defense. That could sound like...
"I'm saying this for your own good
because you need to learn a lesson."
"I'm saying this because you're wrong and
I'm right."
It can also be a justification like...
"This is not a criticism or a judgement.
I'm just telling you my own reactions
and feelings." So they are saying that
their happiness is dependent on the
conditions of physical reality which
includes what others are doing, what
others are saying, and what's happening
in their external reality. So what is
ultimately being said by the attacker is...
"I don't love you because I can't control
you. You deserve to be shamed and
guilt trapped because you didn't meet my
expectations to the fullest."
For me, I have been on both sides, as a
person receiving these words and also as
a person who attacks other people.
I said terrible things in the
past as well and it's really not a good
feeling to feel attacked or to perceive
something as attacked to be more
accurate. Because of these feelings, it's
easy to draw the line between who's the
evil one and who is the good and
innocent one. I think that we can all
relate to the ego's assumption that we
are always the pure ones and never the
bad ones in every single scenario. But I
feel that true compassion and
unconditional love
is being able to forgive even the most
unacceptable things in other beings.
Which means that it ultimately doesn't
matter who is bad and who is good
because all are acceptable and necessary
within the big picture. That I think
is the true path towards overcoming the
fear and hate we have against criticism
and the opposing forces.
It is really not the person that we
perceive as the attacker who needs to be
cured of their wrongful belief,
wrong mindset, anger, and 
frustration. It's more so that we have to
focus on our own well-being and we have
to take conscious control over our own
happiness, emotional health, and
well-being.
We can adopt a more positive mindset by
following the steps of... Letting go of
guilt and shame. Embracing our self
and telling ourselves that we deserve
love in compassion. Lastly, we also
can embrace our authentic self by
inviting both the positivity and
negativity into our lives without
resistance. There are different ways to
deal with negative people which includes
walking away from negativity and letting
go of toxic people. Also, being open to
learning from books, community
meetups, courses, and coaches about
self-help. The third is on focusing on
what we can do in the present moment to
align with peace. And lastly, working on
self-love and connecting with the higher
self. The best thing that we can do for
ourselves and for the people surrounding
us including the attacker is to stay
true to ourselves no matter what. Stay
authentic no matter what because I feel
that we hold the key to success and happiness.
Because when we can be happy , nourished, and
positive, we can spread the same energy
and vibration to our surrounding people
and we can lessen the burden and
suffering of others by focusing on our
inner power, happiness, and self
more than anything.
I hope that you enjoyed this video. 
If you enjoyed it, please like and
subscribe to my channel. Thanks again
for being here my friends and I hope to
see you again soon.
