- A series where I have
people fill out Mad Libs
and then execute those Mad Libs,
as if they are narrations of my life.
Hey.
- Hello.
- Hey, hey, hey.
- Hi.
- Hey, hey.
Before we do anything, I guess you guys
oughta like introduce
yourself or something.
- Probably.
- Hi Alyx, I'm Anissa.
(drumming music)
- Hi Alyx, I'm Bon Bon.
(snazzy rhythmic music)
- Hi Alyx, I'm Alyx.
(snickering)
Cool, let's begin.
(loud exhale breathing)
Body part.
- When I hear body parts,
straight to go to boots.
- Really.
- Yeah, like boots, what do you think?
- I don't know, I feel
like body part, arm.
- So let's meet halfway at
shoulders, arms, shoulders.
Yeah, let's do shoulder.
- A type of food.
- Street cart fries.
- Street cart fries from Spitz.
- A celebrity.
- What do you think? (mumbles)
- And she's right in front of us.
- She's right in front
of us, so Carrie Fisher.
- Carrie Fisher.
- A type of workout.
- Yoga.
- I am now looking for a quantity.
- 26.
- [Both] 26 volume of water.
- Clothing item that you
wear from the waist down.
(whispering and giggling)
- I'll take it.
- Kilt.
- Give me a color.
- Yellow!
- A kind of footwear.
- Jellies.
- Accessory.
- [Both] Fanny pack.
- Adjective.
- Happy.
- Adjective.
- Fluffy?
- This is the most important
one you will be answering.
- I need a noun.
- Right over there.
- You can say that.
- Yeah.
- You don't pay attention to that one?
- Of course.
- I love you so much.
- I love you.
- Wait, is this our
individual?
- Are we, individual really.
Are we still together or-
- No you guys broke up.
- Yeah.
- That's fine.
- Thank you, you're beautiful.
She doesn't let him get this one.
- Okay.
- A volcano vaporizer.
- Oh, okay. (laughing)
A store.
- Bass Pro Shop
Shout out to Bass Pro Shop. (echoing)
- Number under 100.
- How many animals we got?
- 58.
- 58, baby.
- 58.
- Charity or cause.
- Global warming.
- That's a good one.
We love global warming.
- No we don't.
- We don't.
- We don't love global warming.
- Animal.
- Bush baby.
- A type of food.
- Ceviche.
- A sauce.
- You wanna go with Tapatio?
- Adjective.
- Slimy.
- Noun.
- Bear.
- Verb.
- Dancing.
- Object.
- PlayStation 4 controller.
(laughing)
It's called the PlayStation
4 Dual-Shock Controller.
- Adjective.
- Iridescent.
- Iridescent.
- Type of food.
- Avocados.
- Something large.
- Don't go, what are
you trying to do to me?
Oh my goodness, make me look bad.
What?
(laughing)
Water.
- The ocean.
- Adjective.
- Floral.
- One more adjective.
- Course.
- Adjective ending in L Y.
- Lovely?
- Okay, would you like to
hear what you wrote for me?
- [Both] Yes, please.
- Dear Diary, today was
another day in quarantine.
If this lockdown goes on any longer,
I might lose my shoulder.
I woke up hungry for street
cart fries from Spitz,
so that's what I ate for breakfast.
(clapping music)
♪ Spitz Spitz ♪
♪ Spice Spice ♪
Oh, oh, oh, ha, oh my god!
For me?
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
Mmmm.
(softly crying)
Am I doing good on this date?
Will you see me again?
I sure hope so.
(giggles)
(burping)
While checking social media,
I noticed that Carrie
Fisher sent me a message
reminding me to work out.
So I decided to do some yoga.
(mellow keyboard music)
Now that I'm done with the yoga mat,
Moo is doing cat cow.
I have waited her whole
life to tell that joke and,
yoga is something that I do every day.
So it wasn't necessarily a suggestion
that pushed me out of my comfort zone.
So I'm glad that they
suggested yoga, though.
It offers just at least
a little bit of stability
and consistency in what I normally do
for this day of chaos
that's about to ensue.
Was that a poem?
I think, I think I just wrote a poem.
- Yeah.
- Oh, shit.
- After excreting 26
volume of water of sweat,
I took a shower and got dressed.
Today I wore a kilt,
a yellow top, Jellies and a fanny pack.
(intriguing techno music)
I feel so stupid!
Before tackling anything else,
I practice my daily affirmations.
I repeated to myself, I
am happy and I am fluffy
until I truly believe this.
I am happy, I am fluffy,
I am happy, I am fluffy,
I am happy, fluffy, I am
happy, I am happy, I am happy,
I am happy, I am fluffeeeee,
I am happy, I am fluffy,
I am happy, I am happy, I am done.
I truly believe that I am
happy, and that I am fluffy,
so I'm gonna stop now before
I get any fluffier, (chuckles)
just like you, you are fluffy inspo.
How do you get so fluffy?
I have to do affirmations to be fluffy,
and you are naturally fluffy.
Want to fight.
(kisses)
You're very cute, you
wanna promote anything?
You working on anything you
wanna promote to the unknown.
Okay, all right, fine.
Doing affirmations put
me in such a good mood,
that I ended up calling
my family and friends
to tell them that I have
discovered the meaning of life.
Volcano vaporizer.
(laughing)
- What?
No way. (laughing)
- Here goes nothing. I'm
gonna call my friend Liz.
(phone ringing)
- [Liz] Hello.
- Hey, I had a really
weird dream last night
and I now am pretty confident
that I know the meaning of life.
- [Liz] Whoa. (laughs)
Shit.
Okay.
- Have you ever heard
of volcano vaporizers?
- [Liz] Uhhhh, yes.
- Volcano vaporizers help you smoke weed.
Smoking weed is a recreational activity.
- [Liz] Yes, I've heard of it.
- Using a vaporizer instead of,
you know just like smoking smoke
is way better for your lungs.
And so what I think,
the reason it's the meaning of life,
is because you're taking
something enjoyable
and you're making it safer.
And if that's not the meaning of life,
then I don't know what is.
- [Liz] Right, uh huh, okay, so. (giggles)
ah, yeah, sure.
- So you're sold that volcano vaporizers
are the meaning of life.
- [Liz] I don't not agree.
I think, uhhh you might need
to explain a little bit more,
like later on, or something.
- When you say later on, you're
like, just leave me alone.
(laughing)
- [Liz] I think on the
right track, but uh.
- I'll work on my argument, okay.
I'm gonna call my friend, Chris.
We have philosophical conversations
pretty much every time we talk,
so I feel like this isn't
completely out of the blue,
for me to call him to tell him,
that I figured out the meaning of life.
(phone rings)
- [Chris] Hey.
- Hey, I'm very confident
that I have come up
with the meaning of life.
- [Chris] Okay.
- Have you ever heard
of volcano vaporizers?
- [Chris] Um, yes.
- I believe they are the meaning of life.
- [Chris] Okay.
- Okay yeah, fine, I'll explain further.
I subscribe to Epicureanism,
you like the idea that you
want to spend your life
seeking modest pleasures in
order to avoid feeling badly,
to avoid feeling pain.
Therefore, the meaning of life is anything
that allows you to enjoy without harm.
And we all know smoking
weed is bad for your lungs.
So if you vaporize it, it's good for you.
Therefore, the meaning of
life is a volcano vaporizer.
And in that same line of thought,
I guess you could also
say the meaning of life
is condoms, as well.
- [Chris] Are you high?
What's going on?
- All right, well that was fucking stupid.
After getting off the phone,
I went to BassProShop.com,
- Shout out to Bass Pro Shop (echoing)
- and spent $58.
I have never been to BassProShop.com,
nor have I ever been to BassProShop.IRL.
Basically, I don't know what to expect.
The only thing I can assume,
is that they sell fishing
supplies, which I,
that's I'm not.
Fishing, not interested.
Boating, no.
Shooting, no!.
Hunting, no!
Camping, maybe.
Clothing, maybe.
Footwear, maybe.
Auto and ATV, no.
Home and gifts, Bargain Cave.
Alright, let's check out the Bargain Cave.
A turkey vest?
Red Head for her, Camo
Turkey Vest for ladies.
Look at the fucking
turkeys! (loud snickering)
Ah, Hydration Pack.
I've been wanting, whatever that's called,
a CamelBak for a while.
♪ I'ma buy a CamelBak ♪
♪ Go on lots of runs and drink water ♪
I really like this yellow one.
It's only two more dollars.
I'm gonna check out.
Don't look.
Stop, don't look!
Heeeeeeeee.
Done.
I spent more money than I intended to,
$65 and 70 cents.
I try my best.
I then matched that amount of money
and donated to global warming,
because if I can spend money on leisure,
then I can certainly
spend money on charity.
Okay, I'm going to be donating to NRDC,
the National Resources Defense Council,
$65 and 70 cents.
Making the world a better place.
makes me a hungry Mahal bush baby.
(laughing)
I ate some Ceviche for lunch
with a heaping side of Tapatio sauce.
- That actually-
- That's so sick.
- Oh, good phewww!
I ordered Ceviche from
a random restaurant.
If you don't know what Ceviche is,
it's a mixture of seafood and like lime,
lemon juice, lime juice, lemon juice,
I don't know, but it's good
It's yummy.
♪ Spice spice ♪
♪ Sauce ♪
♪ Spice spice ♪
Ooh, this is what I'm consuming,
but I have to drown it in sauce.
(rolling down techno music)
(crunching)
Hmm, hmm, it's pretty good.
Good work guys.
You tasted delicious.
Thank you for your service.
Afterwards I felt an
itch to make some art,
so I painted a slimy bear, not to dance
my own PlayStation 4
Dual Shock Controller,
but the painting turned out iridescent.
♪ Paint I wanna paint ♪
♪ Ooh mmmm ♪
♪ Paint I wanna paint ♪
♪ Ooh mmmm. ♪
♪ It's fine it's fine ♪
♪ Paint I wanna paint ♪
♪ Ooh, mmmm ♪
♪ Paint I wanna paint ♪
♪ Ooh, mmmm. ♪
♪ It's fine it's fine ♪
♪ Paint I wanna paint ♪
♪ Ooh, mmmm, ♪
♪ Paint I wanna paint ♪
♪ Ooh mmmm ♪
♪ It's fine it's fine ♪
♪ Paint I wanna paint ♪
♪ Ooh mmmm ♪
♪ Paint I wanna paint ♪
♪ Ooh mmmm ♪
♪ It's fine it's fine ♪
(deep escalating bass music)
- [Both] Wow!
- By the time dinner came around,
I decided to eat a plate of avocados.
Yum.
There's no world in which
I can respect myself,
and eat a plate full
of avocado. (chuckles)
So I'm gonna eat a plate full of avocados.
No, um I found a recipe online
for panko-crusted baked avocado tacos.
I got all of the ingredients yesterday,
and that is what we will
be making for dinner.
(plucky xylophone music)
And now Moo is going to walk on the frame.
(deep techno music)
(high-pitched beeping)
The alarm in my kitchen is so dramatic.
I'm fine.
I'm fine!
(light techno music)
I was so full afterwards,
it felt like I had eaten an entire ocean.
All in all, my day was floral,
and I hope tomorrow is course.
♪ Paint I wanna paint ♪
The meaning of life is
not volcano vaporizer.
It is street car fries from Spitz.
♪ Mmmm mmmm ♪
Kilts are awesome, comfortable, practical,
will wear again, definitely
going to shorten it first,
but after that it's gonna
be a staple in my wardrobe.
♪ It's fine it's fine ♪
Making art based on other
people's suggestions
is really satisfying.
Usually when I go to make something,
I'm vaguely aware of
how I'm going to do it,
and I am confident that
I'm capable of doing it.
But when someone else
gives me a suggestion,
who knows?
When I went into making the painting,
I had no idea if it was gonna be anything
even remotely okay.
And it turned out,
♪ Mmmm mmmm ♪
♪ It's fine it's fine ♪
So yeah, it's a, it's a, I'll do it again.
This brings me to my last um,
I'm melting.
I had a really great time filming this,
but I gotta go be horizontal
and mute for a while.
Lovely, Alyx.
(laughing)
(rhythmic techno music)
