These days, you have to watch your back.
Danger may be lurking where you least expect
it.
You may find a relative, friend or neighbor
coming after one thing - your brain!
This Halloween is forecasted to be a high
season for zombie attacks - and we’re going
to help you get through it, brain intact.
The first step is identifying a zombie.
Let’s take your uncle Dan.
Here is Dan as we all know him - a normal
guy.
Now let’s look at Dan as a zombie.
Notice the unnatural mouth position and dark
eyes... the shoulders will be off-kilter,
arms, reaching, grabbing.
Legs, limpy - skin, pale.
This is a zombie.
Be careful this Halloween - you may see people
that resemble zombies.
Remember, zombies don’t eat candy - only
brains.
When you encounter a real zombie, it’s time
to have a plan.
Here’s how to survive an attack.
Your first reaction may be to retreat to a
home or business.
This is only a short term solution because
they will never stop - ever.
Instead, consider heading to a Costco.
Don’t plan to wait out an attack without
proper rations.
Now keep your cool - remember that zombies
may move quickly in the early stages of infection
- don’t underestimate their speed.
Also, consider a retreat to high altitudes.
Studies have shown that zombies react poorly
to cold weather, causing them to become brittle
and slow.
Lastly, zombies can’t swim, so a retreat
via boat can help.
And remember those rations.
If you’re not the retreating type, the obvious
next move is counter-attack.
This brings us to our last step - how to kill
the UNdead.
The simple idea is... kill the brain, stop
the zombie.
This is generally done through head trauma
or decapitation.
But any method that removes the zombie-brain’s
ability to direct the undead body will work.
As starting points, we suggest large caliber
bullets to the head, or decapitation via machete,
ax or chainsaw.
Now, chainsaws are advanced tools that should
be used carefully.
Napalm or grenades can also be effective,
but be carefull!
A flaming zombie can be even more dangerous
than a normal one.
If your friend has a zombie bite, unfortunately
there is only one outcome.
Infection is absolutely irreversible.
Don’t bother with antiseptic or band-aids.
Your friend is not your friend anymore.
Face the inevitable and save your brain.
Kill them with dignity before they become
undead too.
Remember: Be prepared.
Plan your route and rations, be on the lookout,
and when they -
Whoa - this just in!
We’ve receive an unconfirmed report that
zombies have been sighted in southern British
Columbia.
They may be heading south.
Repeat.
Heading South.
Sachi! What the ---
Did you hear that?
"BRAINS!"
The question is... are YOU prepared?
Have a fun, safe, and zombie-free Halloween from your friends at Common Craft!
