Hey, you had a date
the other night, right?
 
Yeah!
 
How did that go?
 
Meh.
 
Oh. That sucks.
 
Yeah.
I’d almost rather have
a bad date than a meh date.
At least bad dates
aren’t boring.
Yeah. Oh, speaking
of not boring...
 
I think I found her.
 
Who?
 
The one!
- Wait, really?
- Yeah.
It was love at
first sight, I guess.
Oh my God!
Tell me everything.
 
I wish I could, but I...
I can’t remember
most of it.
Wait.
How is that possible?
I think I blacked out
from the pain.
 
What pain?
The pain she was
inflicting on me!
It was something else,
let me tell you!
Oh my God, Arun, this is...
This is terrible.
 
No, listen...
 
No, you listen!
Dating violence
is never cool.
No matter
who does it or why.
There’s no excuse
for dating violence. Ever.
- Yeah, but...
- But nothing!
She could have...
She should have been arrested!
 
Where did this even happen?
 
In jiu-jitsu class.
You took your date
to a jiu-jitsu class?
 
No! I met her at the class.
She wasn’t my date.
She was my sparring partner.
 
Really good, too.
 
Oh.
Yeah.
Our first date is tonight.
 
Where are you guys going?
Emergency room.
I think I cracked a rib.
- Makes sense.
- Yeah.
Dating violence refers to
any abuse or violent behavior 
that affects a partner’s
physical, psychological
 
and sexual well-being.
Physical violence involves
pushing, hitting,
 
slapping, grabbing,
or holding someone
against their will. 
Psychological abuse can
take the form of insults,
threats, manipulation
or control.
Sexual violence consists
of forcing a person’s partner
to participate in sexual acts
they do not want.
Disagreements and conflicts occur
in all romantic relationships.
It’s normal for two people to have
different needs and expectations
and not to agree
on everything all the time.
 
In a healthy relationship,
both partners
want things to work out,
and are able to calm down,
listen to each other
 
and explain themselves.
Conversely, in unhealthy relationships,
one partner or both
seek, consciously or not,
to win at all costs,
to undermine
or to control the other. 
The people subjected
to these behaviors
sometimes become isolated
from their loved ones,
either because of being
pressured by their partner,
 
or for fear of being judged.
It is important
for you to consider
whether your partner
is treating you with respect
or if you are a victim
of psychological abuse. 
If physical or sexual abuse
has occurred,
the most urgent thing
is ensuring that you are safe.
It is essential
for you to consider
how you can safely
get out of the situation
 
and find support.
Regardless of
the type of abuse,
questioning a relationship
can be difficult.
It’s not always easy
to put things in perspective
when unacceptable behavior
is mixed with feelings of love
 
and hope of change.
Caring for yourself and ending
a relationship that hurts you
 
is courageous and necessary.
Talking with close friends,
parents, a school counsellor,
or calling a helpline
can help you feel understood.
Violence and love
don’t go together.
In a healthy relationship,
love makes you grow,
it shouldn’t make you
feel small or tie you down.
If my partner became
aggressive, I think...
I would start thinking
about cutting them out.
 
Abuse is...
often done
with really harsh words,
 
or even violence.
Violence in a relationship
isn’t purely physical.
It’s psychological,
emotional.
Most unhealthy couples
will spin it a different way.
The real difference is
when it’s a cycle.
Something that’s
repeating itself constantly.
Whereas a conflict is
something that’ll happen
normally once,
maybe twice,
but then resolves
itself after that.
I would define mental abuse
as someone who’s gaslighting,
who convinces someone that
they’re in the right, you’re wrong,
isolation from friends
and family members.
 
Just words or simple acts
that your partner might say
that hurt your feelings.
If you’re berating
and insulting them,
and making them
uncomfortable,
or making them not happy
to be in the situation they’re in.
Trying to tell them
that they only love them
if certain conditions
are met.
Attacking people,
undermining their weaknesses,
and taking advantage
of them.
Trying to convince them to do
things they don’t want to do,
 
but then guilting them into it.
 
Guilting is a big one.
I have been in
an aggressive relationship.
I don’t think I can know
how I would react
if somebody became
aggressive with me
 
until it kind of happens.
I think it takes
a very strong person
to admit when
that’s happening.
And a very strong
person to...
want to leave
that relationship.
 
I would like to hope
that I would just
get away from that situation,
but I know that aggressors
have a way of enticing you,
 
of making you feel safe.
 
“I’ll never do it again!”
 
They manipulate people.
One of my friends
was dating this guy
who was really
kind of sketchy,
 
he legitimately went to jail.
He ended up being
violent with her.
He was intoxicated
and he hurt her,
left bruises,
ripped her hair,
 
treated her like garbage.
At least she got out of it,
but you know...
It happens a lot more often
than we think, I guess.
 
It was really horrifying.
 
It’s difficult,
and I think to be
in an aggressive relationship
 
requires a lot of support.
And a lot of strength
to be able to leave.
If your downs are way more
common than your ups,
if you find you have
nothing positive
to say about
your partner, ever...
Odds are, it’s probably
not a healthy relationship.
