Mark: Yeah!-- Wait whose team am I on?
Wade: Alright, Mark- Mark, it's you and me.                Mark: Yeah, Wade!
M: How do we..      Wade: Alright buddy.
Mark: ..how do we do teams?
Mark: How does teams even work in this?
Wade: So only one of us has to win for us both to win.
Wade: We work together to help one of us empty our hand.     Mark: Oh, okay!
Wade: We can see each others' cards. 
 M: Oh, I can see your cards!
Wade: Yeah!
Mark: How am I supposed to be able to pay attention to that?!
 
Wade: By looking at them.
*Mark laughs* Jack: I'd say just,
*Wade laughs* Jack: Play it how you always play.
Mark: I don't think I can handle this, Wade!
Jack: Bob? Bob?
Bob: I don't have anything to play.
Wade: Don't forget, zeros and sevens are on, so those change our hands.
Mark: Okay. Alright. Here we go!
Mark: BOINK!
Jack: Ohh, shit-dog. *Mark laughs* Oh, shit, dude!
Bob: Oh lord.         Wade: Don't do it
Bob: Hell nah.
Jack: DOINK!
Mark: Alright... Okay..   Bob: Oh shit son. Oh shit.
Wade: YELLOW!
Mark: Wade, that doesn't help me!
Wade: Well, what was I supposed to do? 
Mark: I don't know!
Bob:  Oh, I got an idea!
Mark: Ha, HAA!
Mark: Eat a dick!
Bob: Oh, that's not bad.    Jack: Bob, you just helped him!
Mark: Okay what should I do? What should I do, Wade?
Wade: Uh, It's up to you man. My hand's not really helpful.
Wade: You can play a seven and see what Jack's got?
Mark: Nailin' it! Yep! Gonna do that!
Mark: Gimme that!
Bob: Uhh, doesn't really help you very much.
Mark: You don't know that!
Mark: OOOH! I feel so helped!
Wade: HA, HAA!
Wade: Your turn now. Bob: Aww..
Mark: I-I I got this one.. on lock
Mark: Ha Ha!
Wade: Ha Ha! My Turn!
Mark: Ha ha!   Jack: Good good, cause I had none.     Bob: Ha ha..!
Mark: Ha ha!      Wade: It's going good then.
Jack: HA HA! *Mark laughs* *Jack continues and Mark joins in*     Wade: Look!
*Jack and Mark laugh*
Bob: Wow, let's not- let's not do that.     Mark: Oh my..
*Jack laughs* Wade: Here have a.. four.
Jack: F*ck dude.    Bob: Ahh, shit snacks yo.  
 Jack: That's crazy shit you're playing right now.
Wade: I know man, I-I live on the edge
Bob: I did not see that coming, ya know...
Wade: Yeah..
Jack: Okay so-    Bob: Uhhh..    Wade: NEITHER DID YO MAMA
Wade: *slams table* ouhhh!
Bob: Yeah..   Mark: Uh-oh    Bob: Yeah..    
 Wade: Oh god why?
*Mark laughs* *Jack laughs*        Bob: That's what she said when I turned it around on her like that last night
Wade: Oh yeah? Well I turned it around like this!
*Mark laughs*    Bob: Thank you for changing the color I appreciate that immensely
Jack: *laughs* All he has were reds. *Mark laughs*
Bob: And actually-actually and, but like, and actually. Jack: Don't-don't do it don't- don't
Bob: No, I have a strategy- I have a strategy.
Bob: Wait, why did I get two cards?
Wade: Because you didn't play in time.
Bob: Oh, Jesus. Mark: Ha Ha... Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.*everyone laughs*
Jack: Oh! I thought we were together in this, this time! *Mark laughs*
Wade: Yeah- Jack: Okay, fuck, okay, uh, okay that's cool, uh, I can be uh-
Wade: Mark, I can- I can- get you a- Mark: Uh yeah, what about it?
Jack: I'm gonna say a little noperino on that one!
Bob: yeah that didn't work very well, did it?
Mark: Yeah. Neither did THIS FOR YOU!!
Wade: *Yells Oh repeatedly while he laughs*
*Wade and Mark laugh gloatingly*
Wade: Oh shit
Mark: Uuuhhh
Mark: Oh fuck.
Jack: Weeellll.
Wade: Well...
Bob: Wow.
Mark: Oh fuck.
Bob: You wanna—*WADE LAUGHS GLOATINGLY*
Jack: We call this "Team Fun" Versus "Team....Fuck those guys"
*Everyone laughs but Mark*
Mark: You could've just kept drawing Wade, you could've just kept drawing.
Wade: I probably should've
Mark:You could've kept drawing, buddy.
*Bob starts to laugh*
Wade: Well...
Mark: We're on a teeeeaaaaam here, working together!
Wade: Oh god.
Mark: Alright, welp, here I go again!
*Everyone laughs*
Mark: There we go!
*Bob and Wade Laugh*
Jack (singing): Here I go again on mah own
Wade: oouuuhhh.
Bob: uhhhhh
Bob: Yeah Ok
Jack: yeah, yeah.
Mark: Yeah yeah ok.
Jack: Thank you for playing something this time.
Bob: I'm just gonna keep getting two cards
Mark: Wade don't do it. Wade don't. Wade.
Mark: Don't! I got nothing. Don't. Come on, don't do it Wade.
Bob: Do it Wade! Do it!
Jack: OOOOOooooooo!
There. *sighs in relief* Thank you.
Wade: Yeah, you have a chance now.
*Bob laughs*
Jack: No you don't.
Wade: Oh.
Mark. Ooohh.
Bob: HAHA!
Wade: HAHA! Mark it's your turn!
Mark (raging): Just stop making it my turn! IT'S THE THING I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO!
*Everyone laughs at his pain*
Wade: I KNOW I'M SO SORRY!
Mark: WHY DID YOU WASTE IT?
*Bob and Jack laugh*
Wade (through laughter): Because I-I I saw a pi—
Mark: BECAUSE YOU SAW A PILE ON, AND YOU WERE JUST LIKE "OH! HERE'S MY CHANCE!
*Bob laughs harder*
Mark: Fuck you.
Jack: OOOOHHHH YEEAAAAHHH!
Wade: OOOOHHHH JEEEZ.
*Laughter*
Oh no! I gave you all my good cards!
Bob: Welll shit.
Bob: Uhh.. Wade: It's okay Mark, I gotta play it. I don't have any cards to execute it but I've gotta play it. Jack: You basically gave me the hand equivalent to gonorrhea.
*mark and bob* Ugh.. Bob: Gimme that,
Mark: Alright fine. Wade: Oh yeah? Well I've got a plan- I've got a plan. Mark: You take it- *giggles* you take it from me, you take it Wade. *both giggles*
Bob: This is- this is all going to work out in the end I'm pretty sure.
*Mark giggles*
Wade: *laughs* Now Jacks probably gonna play it- Jacks gonna play it. Jack: Oh I sure do buddy. Mark: Oh, Jacks gotta play it and ah- *mumbles* Ah, well ring around the rosie for that hand
*all laughs*
Mark: oh boy...oh boy
Bob: Ah, shit. Jack: Well I- I think I know whats going to happen when it gets to Wade so.. Bob: Well fuck. Uhh.. yeah. Jack: Bob play somethin'
Mark: Bob, play somethin' Wade: Bob, play somethin' Jack: Oh what? There you go yeah, yes, yes, take Wades. *bob giggles*
Wade: NOOOOOOOO!
*Mark and Bob laugh*
Wade: Oh god why?
*all laughs*
Bob: Aahhhhhhh fuck
Wade: Have an 8!
Jack: Okay.. I will eat your 8 with my 8.
Okay.. how bout' we do this! Wade: YESSS!  Mark: Yeaaaa--sss
Bob: Wha-at? Wade: Mark wait, here, have some good cards.
Mark: Yeeees!!
Jack: Ohhhh, fuck my A.
Mark: Yessss!
Wade: Also, I'm sorry Mark, but Jack has a lot of cards to damage you with. Mark: Yeah, I know.. It's okay.. *giggle cries*
Wade: Wait- Is it my turn? Jack: Ah, what is happening? Wade: Here, I want- I want Jacks hand back so he can't use it on you.
Mark: Oh thank you I think?
Wade: Yeah, you're welcome.
Jack: Oh, fair enough.. Um.. I don't really know why.. Mark: Oh okay, I guess that makes sense, Fair play is fair play I suppose.
Bob: I guess. Jack: Bob, you know what to do. Bob: Yeah.. Jack: Oh, shit. Yes!
Mark: Ah ha! Wade: Mark you know what to do. Mark: How about a little bit of this action!
Wade: Oh well- that- yeah. Mark: Umm... Did you want the other one?
Bob: I've got kind of a solution for all of this. Wade: Oh god! Mark: Ooooh no! Jack: Bob!
Mark: Alright, so I know what cards he has- I know what cards he has. Bob: Oh Jack, I'm sorry, It's okay we'll be fine. Wade: Oh god I'm sorry. Mark: Uh oh
Bob: Oh yes! Oh yes!
Jack: Hey! I got an achievement! Wade: What's he got left? What's he got left?
Mark: He's got a three of yellow!
Mark: He's got a three of yellow. This is not gonna help him. Good!
Wade: Ha HAA! Draw Bob! Mark: HA HAA!
Mark: Ha! Jack: Yeah, we're f*cked!
Wade: WHY?! Mark: Oh, god dammit!
*Bob giggles*
Bob: C'mon Jack.
Jack: Ahhh sh*t.. Bob: You can- You don't really have a lot to do to help me.
Jack: No.. Sorry. *Bob giggles*
Mark: Okay. It's not the color. He's a- It's alright.
Bob: It's fine.
Mark: Alright. Okay. Here we go.
Wade: DO NOT!
Mark: Bap! *laughs*
Mark: Why would I-why would I want him to win? *Bob laughs*
Wade: I-I wanted you to NOT let him win.
Mark: We're teammates!
Wade: I KNOW. I just wanted to be sure we agreed on that. *Mark laughs*
Bob: Man that went downhill quickly.
Mark: We have to agree on being on a team. *Wade laughs*
Jack: Aw, come on, I clicked it!
Mark: Oh geez...
Mark: Oh, it's funny stuff. Alright, okay. I've just gotta...
Jack: Comedy! HAHAHA.
Wade: Make-make it- make it-
Mark: I-I know. I- I got you.
Wade: Just-oh...okay.
Bob: Oh, I get to go? Jack: Bob do it. Do it, do it Bob.
Bob: YAY!
Mark: Oooh...
Jack: YAY!
Mark: I'm sorry Waaade.
Wade: Oh god.
Jack: Strategers Wade: This went downhill fast.
Mark: Stack card? What does that mean? OH! YAY!
Wade: Wait  Bob: Oh.
Mark: HA-HAAAA!
Wade: That-  Jack: He doesn't even know how to play. *Jack laughs*
Mark: That did not help you at all. I could've made that so much better for you. I didn't. I apologize. Wade: NOO!  Mark: I apologize.
Mark: I coulda done that good-  Bob: What color did he just make it? He just made it yellow? Yeah, I'm gonna make it- sorry. Sorry.
Mark: I coulda done that for ya Wade. Wade I coulda done that good for ya.
Wade: YEAH  Mark: Ya coulda been a winner. And now you're not.
Wade: Thanks.
Mark: Yeah, I didn't think.  Bob: Ah, sorry.  Mark: I wasn't thinking.
Bob: I wasn't thinking like a team player. Mark: Didn't think it. Yeah. I didn't think that.
Wade: Fine. It's fine. Mark: I- I didn't thunkly that one.
Jack: We still got this Bob!
Wade: Uh-my Uno just crashed, Mark, so good luck with the AI.
*everyone laughs*
Mark: Alright.
Mark: Alright AI.  Wade: I'm just gonna-  Mark: It's you and I buddy. You and I buddy. You and I.
Mark: Just you and I.
Mark: You and I bubby boo. You and I buddy boo.
Wade: Wade bot.
Bob: Oh my god.  Mark: Luna goin' for tha Una.
Mark: Ho HO! Sick move Una. L-Luna. Luno. L...ledle ledle ledle. Ledling
Jack: *robot voice* Thank you father.
Wade: *robot voice* Interesting play. *Mark laughs*
Jack: *robot voice* U-Uno
Wade: I can't believe that one just happened.
Mark: *laughs* Just-yeah, Wade, just keep saying things. I'm gonna put your face there. Bob: Jack, do you know what color they have?
Jack: I don't, but just play anything.  Wade: I am doing wonderful- oh, look at this one!
Mark: AH NO THEY GOT 'EM.
Bob: Let me do that again just to make sure.
Wade: It's okay because I've got THIS up my sleeve!
*Jack and Bob laughs* Jack: You ain't go shit.
Bob: You got extra cards up your sleeve- aw shits. Wade: You don't know how how many great cards I have now.
Mark: My computer robot *laughs* seems to be... malfunctioning.
*Jack and Bob laugh* Jack: Serious peril right now.
Mark: Brroop!  Bob: Oh..  Mark: Brrlrlrlrlp
Mark: Boink  Bob: That worked out for us.
Wade: Internal processor is melding with- Jack: That worked out way better for us.
Mark: No it didn't. You don't know that because I got- THIS!  
Wade: -compressor.
Wade: Ha HA!
Jack: I also got these.
Wade: Oh!  Mark: Yeah whatever.  Bob: Holy shit.
Mark: You think you got that? Wade: That's alright, cause take THIS!
Bob: I got that, how bout that?
Mark: Yeah? Well what about this? Jack: Waiiitt
Wade: YEAH!
Jack: Wade, can you even see anything, or are you just dicking around?
Wade: I can't see shit! (Everyone laughs)
Bob: Well how bout that?
Wade: WELL HOW BOUT SOME OF THESE BOB!?
Mark: *laughs* You just drew cards you idiot!
*everyone laughs*
Jack: You have the most cards of anyone at the table!
*Mark and Jack laugh* Wade: Oh God!!
Bob: Hey-Hey, Jack, are you ready? Are you ready Jack? Jack: Yea
Mark: HA! Try that again buddy!
Jack: I clicked it!! Bob: Aww, What the fuckk?
Mark: Try it once more! Wade: CHECK OUT THIS SHIT
Mark: *laughing* Jack, let's go back to you doing your thing
*Bob laughs*
Jack: I clicked it though! Why did it not work?
Bob: OH NO!
Mark: OHHH!
Wade: OHHH
Mark: OHHH
Wade: WEREN'T EXPECTING THAT WERE YOU BOB??
Jack: Oh shit, we didn't click it!
Mark: Ohh?
Wade: Oh, man really?
Wade: YEAH, WHAT A PLAN!!
Mark: Ahhhhh, ok! Alrighty then...
Bob: Ok, well...
Jack: The bot doesn't have anything
Bob: ... Yeah, we know-we know what's going on over there
Mark: You know- You don't know
Wade: You might think you know, BUT CHECK OUT THIS!!
*Mark laughs*
Jack: Here we go
Mark: UH OH! (Repeatedly)
Jack: Wade, you just drew cards again! *laughs*
Bob: *laughing* Wade, you're drawing cards again!
Wade: That's alright, I got some good ones here, there's a couple plus fours!
Bob: Well, fuck
Wade: YEA!
Mark: No, Wade-Wade, you don't have any plus fours.
Mark: I MEAN, you have ALL the plus fours
Wade: Alright, I got all the plus-plus tw-
Wade: -plus twos
Bob: Wade, I h- I have an idea!
Wade: Oh, how bout I play a SKIP!
Mark: HA, jokes on you Bob!
Bob: No, I played.
Bob: That's actually not that bad
Mark: I know, Bob... I know.
Mark: I'm aware of that!
Jack: Uuunooooooooo
*Mark laughing*
Wade: HERE, Take this!
Mark: Hehe, You just got skipped!
*Everyone laughing*
Mark: Uh jeez, I can't remember what you had, I can't remember.
Bob: Impeccable, Wade. Impeccable.
*laughter dies out*
Mark: Oh boy.
Jack: *angrily yelling through teeth*
Jack: Well played.
Jack: *angrily yelling through teeth*
*Mark laughs*
Wade: Yeah! Have some of this!
Bob: Yeah, good one Wade. You can do it.
Jack: Got you, Bob.
Mark: No.
Bob: Aw sh*t son!
Mark: No.. Aww nooo!
Wade: How 'bout a red EIGHT!!
Mark: It made me draw cards AFTER you win?!
*everyone laughs*
Jack: You just lost, Wade.
Mark: Yeah.
Bob: Get those extra card, loser!
Wade: Wait, we lost?
Mark: Yeaah.
Bob: Yes, you lost.
*Jack laughing*
*Bob laughing*
Jack: You were just like, you had this eight. And then it was like- You lose.
*Bob and Mark laughing*
Mark: Oh, god. Get out of here, get out of here.
Bob: Oh f*ck, ah jeez. Yeah end this sh*t.
Wade: It sounds like it's still happening and we haven't lost yet.
Mark: No-h-h-ho. We lost.
Bob: Alright, Wade. Set us- Set us up again here, buddy.
Wade: Alright here, have a zero! I'm flippin' it around!!
Bob: Hey Wade, *inaudible*
Mark: I'm preemptively gonna be quieter.
Wade: Then you should be able to send invites.
Mark: Alright, okay. Enter lobby.
*everyone saying no*
Wade: Jeez this has happened again!
Bob: Oh no, not like this! Aaah, oh god noo!
Jack: Okay
Jack (amplified): ENTER LOBBY.
*everyone laughing*
Wade: God, please! Don't do that!
Mark: Alright, hang on hang on, I got it. I gotta invite my frieends-
Wade: ENTER LOBBY!!
*everyone laughing*
Mark: Oh, I didn't hit teams.
Wade: Oh, hey Jack, it's you and me.
Mark: Oh wait, no I didn't hit teams.
Jack: No it's not.
Bob: Oh.
Mark: I'll be right back, guys. *laughing*
Wade: Well, um.. I guess
Jack: Well, uhh.
Mark: Sorry. Sorry!
Wade: Every man for himself!!
Mark: Sorry!
Mark: *with audio sensitivity very high* uh..
 
Wade: Oh fuck
Bob: *laughing*
 
Bob: Every fucking time
