- What's up, Roaches, it's ya boy,
dropping again on some
unsuspecting players
who don't even know they're
about to get (coughs)
Roached!
We're playing a little
"Operation Knockout"
this time around.
- Roached!
- Outta my way, fence!
These stairs don't have a
handicap accessible ramp.
Better get to building.
Nobody will suspect me
infiltrating the The Shark
over these big ole rocks.
(light midi music)
Ooh, I love that song!
This roof aint' big enough for all of us.
Time to get to work.
You know what?
You were right, Richard,
a gazebo on the roof
isn't that crazy at all.
Ow, hey!
I see you over there.
I respect that you are
safely social distancing,
but it will not save you
from the wrath of Roach.
(groans) Fine, I'm coming over there.
Leroy Jenkins!
Teamwork makes the dream work,
even though I did practically nothing.
What the heck is Goop
Lab even about anyway?
Ah, bullets.
Focus, Roach, focus.
(guns blasting)
- [Announcer] Roached!
- That's what you get
for being such a Karen.
(guns blasting)
No, he has the high ground.
Obi-Wan, what do I do?
- [Obi-Wan] Cut off them legs, Padawan.
(guns blasting)
- I've got you now!
Whoops, underestimated the gap again.
My eyesight isn't as good as it use to be
now that I just look at screens all day.
This place is a mess.
Grandpappy's famous corn mazes
were way easier to navigate.
- [Grandpappy] I loaded
them mazes up with dynamite
to make 'em harder, boy.
- No!
Am I dead now?
Is this heaven?
Sure is empty in here.
I'm alive again!
The Buddhists were right all
along, reincarnation is real!
I'm gonna call myself, Broach.
It's a new life, it's a new name.
I got 'em.
I got, no, maybe I don't got 'em.
(gasps) Only one hit point left.
Surely this time I'm donzo for good.
I'll miss you all, especially
you, Vilma Gonzalez,
you were the commenting king of my heart.
Back again, let's go!
Third time's the charm.
Nothing can stop us now, Roaches,
except, you know, deadly
falls from the roof I guess.
Darn, every time!
All right, fourth quarter.
Clear eyes, pump shotgun's loaded..
Can't lose.
(guns blasting)
I'm back! (laughs)
No way! (grunts)
Mom, these guys keep killing me!
- [Mom] I think it's time to
get good, as the kids say.
- Hey, don't forget to like
and subscribe to ArcadeCloud
while you're at it.
For every new subscriber we gain,
my life is extended another year.
Oh, what the?
This game is broken.
Fix your frickin' game, Epic.
Frickin' cheaters.
So unfair.
I'd be winning if this
wifi wasn't straight trash.
Come on, mom,
quit using the wifi for
your dumb job in there.
You're killing me!
(dramatic music)
We won?
I mean, never a doubt in my mind.
That's how we do it, squad.
Okay, I think I'm finally
getting the hang of this.
Just goes to show, never give up, Roaches,
victory is inevitable.
What? No!
Not again.
It's like "Halo" energy
swords all over again.
Coming in hot.
Speaking of hot and delicious,
I could really go for a
Pasqually's pizza right now.
Oh, it's so good.
Not like that cardboard
crap they used to give us
at Chuck E. Cheese back in the day.
Okay, this time I'm putting
up a fortress around myself.
Safety first.
Knock, knock.
(guns blasting)
Jokes on you.
By killing me on solar
panels I'll come back
charged up, stronger than ever. (grunts)
All right, Lazy Lake, get
ready for my best round yet.
(guns blasting)
Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy.
- Roached!
- Woo hoo, finally!
(guns blasting)
Come on, squad, let's roll out.
These bananas aren't
appealing to me anymore.
(audience boos)
- Roached!
- Never saw it coming.
(groans) That banana's gone rotten.
Wait, is that a Peely skin
or just another skin
covered in liquid gold?
Someone check the replay.
No time to cry.
Back to roachin'.
This is a nice dining room.
Reminds me of the Thanksgiving dinner
the Roach family never had.
- Roached!
(guns blasting)
- Am I hitting him?
I feel like I'm not hitting him.
Richard, can we cut out all these deaths?
It's really embarrassing.
I look bad in front of my Roaches.
Show yourself, baddies!
(guns blasting)
Fine, that's fine, everything is fine.
Nothing to do but get back
on the horse, eh, friends?
Let's just give it our best
shot and we're sure to.
Oh, what in the name of
grandpappy's ghost is going on?
(screams)
- [Grandpappy] I told
you I ain't dead yet!
- Okay, Roach, your team is winning.
You can do this.
- [Announcer] Roached!
- Yes!
Oh, god, they're everywhere.
I'm gonna die again.
Don't kill me, I'd never hurt a fly.
I only hurt people.
These builds are insane.
I can't see!
(guns blasting)
Oh, gee, darn, wow, you killed me.
Do you feel special now?
Huh, do ya?
Oh, Future Roach, will there
be any victory in sight for me?
- [Future Roach] Outcome is unknown.
Get good, Present Roach.
- Wow, rude!
(grunts) My face!
Okay, one down.
Hang in there, team, we almost got 'em.
(groans) Reload faster!
(guns blasting)
We did it?
Ah, we did it, hurray!
And I totally helped.
Yup, completely.
No better place for the next round
than Grandpappy's apple farm.
I'm great in this location, you know?
Home turf and all.
How do you build on a roof again?
(guns blasting)
Yikes, they're far away.
Let's see if I can do a little sniping.
All right, something I can do.
Like poking your little sister
until she tattles on you.
I'm chipping away at your health.
Hey, what the?
Get back here, you!
(guns blasting)
Not the pole, Roach!
- Roached!
- Phew, sorry, Mammoth Lady,
but your Ice Age just melted.
Holding down the fort, barn.
Now what's that coming in for a landing?
You again?
How many times am I
gonna have to teach you
a lesson, old mammoth?
(guns blasting)
Oh, crap buckets.
Centering myself.
Om.
Calm.
Be one with farm, Roach.
I bet she's still in there.
Let's go double check.
Anyone see a lady with giant tusks, hairy,
maybe five foot seven?
No?
Well all right, back to
my old stomping grounds.
Oh, hey there, welcome to Casa de Roach.
- [Announcer] Roached.
- Wait, wait, wait, my
gun isn't ready yet.
- Roached.
- Nevermind, it was. (laughs)
Play that funky music.
Protect the barn!
(guns blasting)
Oh, man, I wasn't even
jumping around and stuff.
I don't like how close
the score is on this one.
Not one bit, Roaches.
So I'm hearing a lot of action
but I'm not seeing a lot of action.
No!
Thanks, teammate, I almost
died, again. (chuckles)
And goodbye.
Wow, that felt amazing.
(guns blasting)
Who wants some more?
- Roached.
(guns blasting)
- No, no, no, wait.
(whimpers) She had the same idea.
Man, everybody's just lining up in there.
Still neck and neck.
(guns blasting)
Come here you butterfly-looking crazies.
(guns blasting)
(gasps) From above!
Gosh, this mode is exhausting.
Roach never has to think this quickly
in normal battle royales,
also 'cause Tanner does
most of the thinking for me.
Come on, Roach, think!
Charge!
- Roached!
- Yes!
I ain't going down without a fight.
It's up to you, teammates.
Please, yes?
No!
No!
Now, Roaches, I think "Operation Knockout"
is just way too intense
for little ole Roach.
But if you guys wanna
see me try and get better
let me know in the comment section below.
Are there any other modes
you think I should play?
Let's make the rest of
this season very exciting.
Roach out!
(light music)
