Chapter 3
AFTER THE MOVIE was over it suddenly came
to us that Cherry and Marcia
didn't have a way to get home.
Two-Bit gallantly offered to walk them home---
the west
side of town was only about twenty miles away---
but they wanted to call their parents
and have them come and get them.
Two-Bit finally talked them into letting us
drive them
home in his car.
I think they were still half-scared of us.
They were getting over it,
though, as we walked to Two-Bit's house to
pick up the car.
It seemed funny to me that
Socs--- if these girls were any example---
were just like us.
They liked the Beatles and
thought Elvis Presley was out, and we thought
the Beatles were rank and that Elvis was
tuff, but that seemed the only difference
to me.
Of course greasy girls would have acted a
lot tougher, but there was a basic sameness.
I thought maybe it was money that separated
us.
"No," Cherry said slowly when I said this.
"It's not just money.
Part of it is, but
not all.
You greasers have a different set of values.
You're more emotional.
We're
sophisticated--- cool to the point of not
feeling anything.
Nothing is real with us.
You
know, sometimes I'll catch myself talking
to a girl-friend, and realize I don't mean
half of
what I'm saying.
I don't really think a beer blast on the river
bottom is super-cool, but I'll
rave about one to a girl-friend just to be
saying something."
She smiled at me.
"I never
told anyone that.
I think you're the first person I've ever
really gotten through to."
She was coming through to me all right, probably
because I was a greaser, and
younger; she didn't have to keep her guard
up with me.
"Rat race is a perfect name for it," she said.
"We're always going and going and
going, and never asking where.
Did you ever hear of having more than you
wanted?
So
that you couldn't want anything else and then
started looking for something else to want?
It seems like we're always searching for something
to satisfy us, and never finding it.
Maybe if we could lose our cool.
we could."
The$Outsiders,"S.E."Hinton 34
That was the truth.
Socs were always behind a wall of aloofness,
careful not to let
their real selves show through.
I had seen a social-club rumble once.
The Socs even
fought coldly and practically and impersonally.
"That's why we're separated," I said.
"It's not money, it's feeling--- you don't
feel
anything and we feel too violently."
"And"--- she was trying to hide a smile---
"that's probably why we take turns
getting our names in the paper."
Two-Bit and Marcia weren't even listening
to us.
They were engaged in some
wild conversation that made no sense to anyone
but themselves.
I have quite a rep for being quiet, almost
as quiet as Johnny.
Two-Bit always said
he wondered why Johnny and I were such good
buddies.
"You must make such interestin'
conversation," he'd say, cocking one eyebrow,
"you keepin' your mouth shut and Johnny
not sayin' anything."
But Johnny and I understood each other without
saying anything.
Nobody but Soda could really get me talking.
Till I met Cherry Valance.
I don't know why I could talk to her; maybe
for the same reason she could talk to
me.
The first thing I knew I was telling her about
Mickey Mouse, Soda's horse.
I had
never told anyone about Soda's horse.
It was personal.
Soda had this buckskin horse, only it wasn't
his.
It belonged to a guy who kept it
at the stables where Soda used to work.
Mickey Mouse was Soda's horse, though.
The
first day Soda saw him he said, "There's my
horse," and I never doubtedit.
I was about ten
then.
Sodapop is horsecrazy.
I mean it.
He's always hanging around stables and rodeos,
hopping on a horse every time he gets a chance.
When I was ten I thought that Mickey
Mouse and Soda looked alike and were alike.
Mickey Mouse was a dark-gold buckskin,
sassy and ornery, not much more than a colt.
He'd come when Soda called him.
He
wouldn't come for anyone else.
That horse loved Soda.
He'd stand there and chew on
Soda's sleeve or collar.
Gosh, but Sodapop was crazy about that horse.
He went down to
see him every day.
Mickey Mouse was a mean horse: He kicked other
horses and was
The$Outsiders,"S.E."Hinton 35
always getting into trouble.
"I've got me a ornery pony," Soda'd tell him,
rubbing his
neck.
"How come you're so mean, Mickey Mouse?"
Mickey Mouse would just chew on
his sleeve and sometimes nip him.
But not hard.
He may have belonged to another guy,
but he was Soda's horse.
"Does Soda still have him?"
Cherry asked.
"He got sold," I said.
"They came and got him one day and took him
off.
He was a
real valuable horse.
Pure quarter."
She didn't say anything else and I was glad.
I couldn't tell her that Soda had
bawled all night long after they came and
got Mickey Mouse.
I had cried, too, if you want
to know the truth, because Soda never really
wanted anything except a horse, and he'd
lost his.
Soda had been twelve then, going-on-thirteen.
He never let on to Mom and Dad
how he felt, though, because we never had
enough money and usually we had a hard time
making ends meet.
When you're thirteen in our neighborhood you
know the score.
I kept
saving my money for a year, thinking that
someday I could buy Mickey Mouse back for
Soda.
You're not so smart at ten.
"You read a lot, don't you, Ponyboy?"
Cherry asked.
I was startled.
"Yeah.
Why?"
She kind of shrugged.
"I could just tell.
I'll bet you watch sunsets, too."
She was
quiet for a minute after I nodded.
"I used to watch them, too, before I got so
busy..."
I pictured that, or tried to.
Maybe Cherry stood still and watched the sun
set while
she was supposed to be taking the garbage
out.
Stood there and watched and forgot
everything else until her big brother screamed
at her to hurry up.
I shook my head.
It
seemed funny to me that the sunset she saw
from her patio and, the one I saw from the
back steps was the same one.
Maybe the two different worlds we lived in
weren't so
different.
We saw the same sunset.
Marcia suddenly gasped.
"Cherry, look what's coming."
The$Outsiders,"S.E."Hinton 36
We all looked and saw a blue Mustang coming
down the street.
Johnny made a
small noise in his throat and when I looked
at him he was white.
Marcia was shifting nervously.
"What are we going to do?"
Cherry bit a fingernail.
"Stand here," she said.
"There isn't much else we can do."
"Who is it?"
Two-Bit asked.
"The F.B.I.?"
"No," Cherry said bleakly, "it's Randy and
Bob."
"And," Two-Bit added grimly, "a few other
of the socially elite checkered-shirt
set"
"Your boyfriends?"
Johnny's voice was steady, but standing as
close to him as I
was, I could see he was trembling.
I wondered why--- Johnny was a nervous wreck,
but
he never was that jumpy.
Cherry started walking down the street.
"Maybe they won't see us.
Act normal."
"Who's acting?"
Two-Bit grinned.
"I'm a natural normal."
"Wish it was the other way around," I muttered,
and Two-Bit said, "Don't get
mouthy, Ponyboy"
The Mustang passed us slowly and went right
on by.
Marcia sighed in relief.
'That
was close."
Cherry turned to me.
"Tell me about your oldest brother.
You don't talk much
about him."
I tried to think of something to say about
Darry, and shrugged.
"What's to talk
about?
He's big and handsome and likes to play football."
The$Outsiders,"S.E."Hinton 37
"I mean, what's he like?
I feel like I know Soda from the way you talk
about him;
tell me about Darry."
And when I was silent she urged me on.
"Is he wild and reckless
like Soda?
Dreamy, like you?"
My face got hot as I bit my lip.
Darry... what was Darry
like?
"He's..."
I started to say he was a good ol' guy but
I couldn't.
I burst out bitterly:
"He's not like Sodapop at all and he sure
ain't like me.
He's hard as a rock and about as
human.
He's got eyes exactly like frozen ice.
He thinks I'm a pain in the neck.
He likes
Soda--- everybody likes Soda--- but he can't
stand me.
I bet he wishes he could stick me
in a home somewhere, and he'd do it, too,
if Soda'd let him."
Two-Bit and Johnny were staring at me now.
"No..."
Two-Bit said, dumfounded.
"No, Ponyboy, that ain't right... you got
it wrong..."
"Gee," Johnny said softly, "I thought you
and Darry and Soda got along real
well..."
"Well, we don't," I snapped, feeling silly.
I knew my ears were red by the way
they were burning, and I was thankful for
the darkness.
I felt stupid.
Compared to
Johnny's home, mine was heaven.
At least Darry didn't get drunk and beat me
up or run
me out of the house, and I had Sodapop to
talk things over with.
That made me mad, I
mean making a fool of myself in front of everyone.
"An' you can shut your trap, Johnny
Cade, 'cause we all know you ain't wanted
at home, either.
And you can't blame them."
Johnny's eyes went round and he winced as
though I'd belted him.
Two-Bit
slapped me a good one across the side of the
head, and hard.
"Shut your mouth, kid.
If you wasn't Soda's kid brother I'd beat
the tar out of you.
You know better than to talk to Johnny like
that."
He put his hand on Johnny's shoulder.
"He didn't mean it, Johnny."
"I'm sorry," I said miserably.
Johnny was my buddy.
"I was just mad."
"It's the truth," Johnny said with a bleak
grin.
"I don't care."
The$Outsiders,"S.E."Hinton 38
"Shut up talkin' like that," Two-Bit said
fiercely, messing up Johnny's hair.
"We
couldn't get along without you, so you can
just shut up!"
"It ain't fair!"
I cried passionately.
"It ain't fair that we have all the rough
breaks!"
I didn't know exactly what I meant, but I
was thinking about Johnny's father being a
drunk and his mother a selfish slob, and Two-Bit's
mother being a barmaid to support
him and his kid sister after their father
ran out on them, and Dally--- wild, cunning
Dally-
-- turning into a hoodlum because he'd die
if he didn't, and Steve--- his hatred for
his
father coming out in his soft, bitter voice
and the violence of his temper.
Sodapop... a
dropout so he could get a job and keep me
in school, and Darry, getting old before his
time trying to run a family and hold on to
two jobs and never having any fun--- while
the
Socs had so much spare time and money that
they jumped us and each other for kicks,
had beer blasts and river-bottom parties because
they didn't know what else to do.
Things
were rough all over, all right.
All over the East Side.
It just didn't seem right to me.
"I know," Two-Bit said with a good-natured
grin, "the chips are always down
when it's our turn, but that's the way things
are.
Like it or lump it."
Cherry and Marcia didn't say anything.
I guess they didn't know what to say.
We
had forgotten they were there.
Then the blue Mustang was coming down the
street again,
more slowly.
"Well," Cherry said resignedly, "they've spotted
us."
The Mustang came to a halt beside us, and
the two boys in the front seat got out.
They were Socs all right.
One had on a white shirt and a madras ski
jacket, and the other
a light yellow shirt and a wine-colored sweater.
I looked at their clothes and realized for
the first time that evening that all I had
was a pair of jeans and Soda's old navy sweat
shirt with the sleeves cut short.
I swallowed.
Two-Bit started to tuck in his shirttail,
but
stopped himself in time; he just flipped up
the collar of his black leather jacket and
lit a
cigarette.
The Socs didn't even seem to see us.
The$Outsiders,"S.E."Hinton 39
"Cherry, Marcia, listen to us..." the handsome
black-haired Soc with the dark
sweater began.
Johnny was breathing heavily and I noticed
he was staring at the Soc's hand.
He
was wearing three heavy rings.
I looked quickly at Johnny, an idea dawning
on me.
I
remembered that it was a blue Mustang that
had pulled up beside the vacant lot and that
Johnny's face had been cut up by someone wearing
rings...
The Soc's voice broke into my thoughts: "...just
because we got a little drunk last
time..."
Cherry looked mad.
"A little?
You call reeling and passing out in the streets
'a
little'?
Bob, I told you, I'm never going out with
you while you're drinking, and I mean it.
Too many things could happen while you're
drunk.
It's me or the booze."
The other Soc, a tall guy with a semi-Beatle
haircut, turned to Marcia.
"Baby, you
know we don't get drunk very often..."
When she only gave him a cold stare he got
angry.
"And even if you are mad at us, that's no
reason to go walking the streets with these
bums."
Two-Bit took a long drag on his cigarette,
Johnny slouched and hooked his
thumbs in his pockets, and I stiffened.
We can look meaner than anything when we want
to--- looking tough comes in handy.
Two-Bit put his elbow on Johnny's shoulder.
"Who
you callin' bums?"
"Listen, greasers, we got four more of us
in the back seat..."
"Then pity the back seat," Two-Bit said to
the sky.
"If you're looking for a fight..."
Two-Bit cocked an eyebrow, but it only made
him look more cool.
"You mean if
I'm looking for a good jumping, you outnumber
us, so you'll give it to us?
Well..."
He
The$Outsiders,"S.E."Hinton 40
snatched up an empty bottle, busted off the
end, and gave it to me, then reached in his
back pocket and flipped out his switchblade.
"Try it, pal."
"No!"
Cherry cried.
"Stop it!"
She looked at Bob.
"We'll ride home with you.
Just
wait a minute."
"Why?"
Two-Bit demanded.
"We ain't scared of them."
Cherry shuddered.
"I can't stand fights...
I can't stand them..."
I pulled her to one side.
"I couldn't use this," I said, dropping the
pop bottle.
"I
couldn't ever cut anyone...."
I had to tell her that, because I'd seen her
eyes when Two-Bit
flicked out his switch.
"I know," she said quietly, "but we'd better
go with them.
Ponyboy...
I mean... if I
see you in the hall at school or someplace
and don't say hi, well, it's not personal
or
anything, but..."
"I know," I said.
"We couldn't let our parents see us with you
all.
You're a nice boy and
everything..."
"It's okay," I said, wishing I was dead and
buried somewhere.
Or at least that I
had on a decent shirt.
"We aren't in the same class.
Just don't forget that some of us watch
the sunset too."
She looked at me quickly.
"I could fall in love with Dallas Winston,"
she said.
"I
hope I never see him again, or I will."
She left me standing there with my mouth dropped
open, and the blue Mustang
vroomed off.
The$Outsiders,"S.E."Hinton 41
We walked on home, mostly in silence.
I wanted to ask Johnny if those were the
same Socs that had beaten him up, but I didn't
mention it.
Johnny never talked about it
and we never said anything.
"Well, those were two good-lookin' girls if
I ever saw any."
Two-Bit yawned as
we sat down on the curb at the vacant lot.
He took a piece of paper out,of his pocket
and
tore it up.
"What was that?"
"Marcia's number.
Probably a phony one, too.
I must have been outa my mind to
ask for it.
I think I'm a little soused."
So he had been drinking.
Two-Bit was smart.
He knew the score.
"Y'all goin'
home?" he asked.
"Not right now," I said.
I wanted to have another smoke and to watch
the stars.
I
had to be in by twelve, but I thought I had
plenty of time.
"I don't know why I handed you that busted
bottle," Two-Bit said, getting to his
feet.
"You'd never use it."
"Maybe I would have," I said.
"Where you headed?"
"Gonna go play a little snooker and hunt up
a poker game.
Maybe get rip-roarin'
drunk.
I dunno.
See y'all tomorrow."
Johnny and I stretched out on our backs and
looked at the stars.
I was freezing---
it was a cold night and all I had was that
sweat shirt, but I could watch stars in sub-zero
weather.
I saw Johnny's cigarette glowing in the dark
and wondered vaguely what it was
like inside a burning ember...
"It was because we're greasers," Johnny said,
and I knew he was talking about
Cherry.
"We could have hurt her reputation."
The$Outsiders,"S.E."Hinton 42
"I reckon," I said, wondering if I ought to
tell Johnny what she had said about
Dallas.
"Man, that was a tuff car.
Mustangs are tuff."
"Big time Socs, all right," I said, a nervous
bitterness growing inside me.
It wasn't
fair for the Socs to have everything.
We were as good as they were; it wasn't our
fault we
were greasers.
I couldn't just take it or leave it, like
Two-Bit, or ignore it and love life
anyway, like Sodapop, or harden myself beyond
caring, like Dally, or actually enjoy it,
like Tim Shepard.
I felt the tension growing inside of me and
I knew something had to
happen or I would explode.
"I can't take much more."
Johnny spoke my own feelings.
"I'll kill myself or
something."
"Don't," I said, sitting up in alarm.
"You can't kill yourself, Johnny."
"Well, I won't.
But I gotta do something.
It seems like there's gotta be someplace
without greasers or Socs, with just people.
Plain ordinary people."
"Out of the big towns," I said, lying back
down.
"In the country..."
In the country...
I loved the country.
I wanted to be out of towns and away from
excitement.
I only wanted to lie on my back under a tree
and read a book or draw a
picture, and not worry about being jumped
or carrying a blade or ending up married to
some scatterbrained broad with no sense.
The country would be like that, I thought
dreamily.
I would have a yeller cur dog, like I used
to, and Sodapop could get Mickey
Mouse back and ride in all the rodeos he wanted
to, and Darry would lose that cold, hard
look and be like he used to be, eight months
ago, before Mom and Dad were killed.
Since
I was dreaming I brought Mom and Dad back
to life...
Mom could bake some more
chocolate cakes and Dad would drive the pickup
out early to feed the cattle.
He would
slap Darry on the back and tell him he was
getting to be a man, a regular chip off the
block, and they would be as close as they
used to be.
Maybe Johnny could come and live
The$Outsiders,"S.E."Hinton 43
with us, and the gang could come out on weekends,
and maybe Dallas would see that
there was some good in the world after all,
and Mom would talk to him and make him
grin in spite of himself.
"You've got quite a mom," Dally used to say.
"She knows the
score."
She could talk to Dallas and kept him from
getting into a lot of trouble.
My
mother was golden and beautiful...
"Ponyboy"--- Johnny was shaking me--- "Hey,
Pony, wake up."
I sat up, shivering.
The stars had moved.
"Glory, what time is it?"
"I don't know.
I went to sleep, too, listening to you rattle
on and on.
You'd better
get home.
I think I'll stay all night out here."
Johnny's parents didn't care if he came home
or not.
"Okay."
I yawned.
Gosh, but it was cold.
"If you get cold or something come on
over to our house."
"Okay."
I ran home, trembling at the thought of facing
Darry.
The porch light was on.
Maybe they were asleep and I could sneak in,
I thought.
I peeked in the window.
Sodapop was stretched out on the sofa, sound
asleep, but Darry was in the armchair under
the lamp, reading the newspaper.
I gulped, and opened the door softly.
Darry looked up
from his paper.
He was on his feet in a second.
I stood there, chewing on my fingernail.
"Where the heck have you been?
Do you know what time it is?"
He was madder
than I'd seen him in a long time.
I shook my head wordlessly.
"Well, it's two in the morning, kiddo.
Another hour and I would have had the
police out after you.
Where were you, Ponyboy?"--- his voice was
rising--- "Where in the
almighty universe were you?"
It sounded dumb, even to me, when I stammered,
"I...
I went to sleep in the lot..."
The$Outsiders,"S.E."Hinton 44
"You what?"
He was shouting, and Sodapop sat up and rubbed
his eyes.
"Hey, Ponyboy," he said sleepily, "where ya
been?"
"I didn't mean to."
I pleaded with Darry.
"I was talking to Johnny and we both
dropped off..."
"I reckon it never occurred to you that your
brothers might be worrying their
heads off and afraid to call the police because
something like that could get you two
thrown in a boys' home so quick it'd make
your head spin.
And you were asleep in the
lot?
Ponyboy, what on earth is the matter with
you?
Can't you use your head?
You
haven't even got a coat on."
I felt hot tears of anger and frustration
rising.
"I said I didn't mean to..."
"I didn't mean to!"
Darry shouted, and I almost shook.
"I didn't think!
I forgot!
That's all I hear out of you!
Can't you think of anything?"
"Darry..."
Sodapop began, but Darry turned on him.
"You keep your trap shut!
I'm
sick and tired of hearin' you stick up for
him."
He should never yell at Soda.
Nobody should ever holler at my brother.
I
exploded.
"You don't yell at him!"
I shouted.
Darry wheeled around and slapped me so
hard that it knocked me against the door.
Suddenly it was deathly quiet.
We had all frozen.
Nobody in my family had ever
hit me.
Nobody.
Soda was wide-eyed.
Darry looked at the palm of his hand where
it had
turned red and then looked back at me.
His eyes were huge.
"Ponyboy..."
I turned and ran out the door and down the
street as fast as I could.
Darry
screamed, "Pony, I didn't mean to!" but I
was at the lot by then and pretended I couldn't
hear.
I was running away.
It was plain to me that Darry didn't want
me around.
And I
wouldn't stay if he did.
He wasn't ever going to hit me again
The$Outsiders,"S.E."Hinton 45
"Johnny?"
I called, and started when he rolled over
and jumped up almost under
my feet.
"Come on, Johnny, we're running away."
Johnny asked no questions.
We ran for several blocks until we were out
of breath.
Then we walked.
I was crying by then.
I finally just sat down on the curb and cried,
burying my face in my arms.
Johnny sat down beside me, one hand on my
shoulder.
"Easy, Ponyboy," he said softly, "we'll be
okay."
I finally calmed down and wiped my eyes on
my bare arm.
My breath was coming
in quivering sobs.
"Gotta cigarette?"
He handed me one and struck a match.
"Johnny, I'm scared."
'Well, don't be.
You're scarin' me.
What happened?
I never seen you bawl like
that."
"I don't very often.
It was Darry.
He hit me.
I don't know what happened, but I
couldn't take him hollering at me and hitting
me too.
I don't know... sometimes we get
along okay, then all of a sudden he blows
up on me or else is naggin' at me all the
time.
He didn't use to be like that... we used to
get along okay... before Mom and Dad died.
Now he just can't stand me."
"I think I like it better when the old man's
hittin' me."
Johnny sighed.
"At least
then I know he knows who I am.
I walk in that house, and nobody says anything.
I walk
out, and nobody says anything.
I stay away all night, and nobody notices.
At least you got
Soda.
I ain't got nobody."
"Shoot," I said, startled out of my misery,
"you got the whole gang.
Dally didn't
slug you tonight 'cause you're the pet.
I mean, golly, Johnny, you got the whole gang."
"It ain't the same as having your own folks
care about you," Johnny said simply.
"It just ain't the same."
The$Outsiders,"S.E."Hinton 46
I was beginning to relax and wonder if running
away was such a great idea.
I was
sleepy and freezing to death and I wanted
to be home in bed, safe and warm under the
covers with Soda's arm across me.
I decided I would go home and just not speak
to
Darry.
It was my house as much as Darry's, and if
he wanted to pretend I wasn't alive,
that was just fine with me.
He couldn't stop me from living in my own
house.
"Let's walk to the park and back.
Then maybe I'll be cooled off enough to go
home."
"Okay," Johnny said easily.
"Okay."
Things gotta get better, I figured.
They couldn't get worse.
I was wrong.
