(fart)
ROBIN LEECH: Welcome to your old Kentucky home!
Today we're gonna take a look at dinosaurs,
more commonly known as,
terrible lizards!
(bleep)
Today we're gonna take a look at saus!
Join me, Robin Leech, next on...
CHORUS: Billy Ma-
PRINCIPAL SKINNER: No!
(bleep)
CHORUS: Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,
then, nearly 14 billion years ago,
expansion started.
Wait!
The Earth began to cool,
the autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools,
we built a wall.
We built the pyramids.
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries
that all started with the Big Bang!
BANG!
(static)
BILL NYE: And one of the coolest things about dinosaurs
is that of all the millions and millions and
millions and millions and
millions and millions and
millions and millions and
millions and millions of dinosaurs that must've once lived
We only now about a few thousand.
And we know about 'em because 
we weren't allowed to breath in her lessons.
And we know about 'em because we f*cked their bones.
Their fofil bones.
Now "fossil"?
That's Latin for something that died in a tornado.
So we've dug up dinosaur bones!
That's how we know how dumb they were,
how much they weighed,
what they ate,
even how fast they could run.
Now we don't know ALL about dinosaurs,
But we do know a lot.
Hey, uh, Dr. Sampson, tear down this wall!
(crowd cheering, dinosaur screams)
(explosion)
BILL WURTZ: (jingle) And the dinosaurs are gone!
(colored bars)
BILL NYE: This is crack.
Uh, first the plant or animal has to die.
DINOSAUR: (gagging)
ALFRED: Oh, look! You're dead!
What luck!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
BILL NYE: Although, sometimes, it could be volcanoes
that covers things with ass.
This is SPARTA!
We didn't dig her up.
We dug THIS up.
Know the resemblence?
(guy gag-laughing)
We have also have found their Ness.
And groups of their nests.
That's right!
She laid eggs in a nest.
Which she kept warm with the rotten leaves.
She laid about a dozen eggs at a time.
ANIMAL THING: I was already doing that!
BILL NYE: We can even set playtime limits for each day of the week.
Maiasaurs also f*ck their vegetables.
(static)
Maiasaurs also ate their spaghetti.
Now, let's say you're a dinosaur.
Uh, an Apatopatopatopatopatopatopatopatopatosus.
Yeah, an Apatosaurus.
And you were walking down the street.
And you were walking along minding your own business.
BILL NYE: And there was a flood.
GUY: Is there a dinosaur in here?
TOM: I don't know, but that's entirely possible.
Buried very quickly.
CHORUS: HOW DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME?
I MADE MY MISTAKES.
NARRATOR: A few moments later...
BILL NYE: About a hundred years ago,
A paleontologist comes along, this would be Mary,
and she very carefully brushes away...
(explosion)
ARTHUR: I told you NOT TO TOUCH IT!!!
MR. KRABS: What am I captain of? Just a bunch of sand?
(party music plays)
BILL NYE: Oh, look!
Saus!
Quite a while time for a dinosaur.
BOY: YOOOUUUU!!! can make a fossil at home.
All you need is NOTHING!
PBG: WHAT? That doesn't even make sense!
NARRATOR: Wait a minute!
How DID THIS HA-
THE KING: ENOUGH!
NARRATOR: Wait a minute!
How do we know that dinosaurs really did exist, huh?
Oh, yeah.
BILL WURTZ: Here comes a meteor.
(explosion)
(jingle) And the dinosaurs are gone!
The first clue that dinosaurs once lived is over there!
This is saus.
(static)
This is a bucket.
SOLDIER: Dear God.
BILL NYE: There's more.
SOLDIER: No!
BILL NYE: These are dinosaur bones.
From a very large dinosaur.
Probably a sauropod, could've been Apatosaurus,
or is it the bagel?
Also, in this formation, people have founded Stegosauruses.
All kinds of wild dinosaurs
that lived about in the year -1,000,000,000.
Apparently, the dinosaurs died.
Real sus, sus, sus, sus, sus...
SHIA LABEOUF: DO IT!
And covered with poop.
FILTHY FRANK: DISGUSTING! (spit-take)
BILL NYE: This is the first clue for scientists
for knowing the dinosaurs once lived.
BILL WURTZ: Here comes a meteor.
(explosion)
(jingle) And the dinosaurs are gone!
IVY: Hi.
SPONGEBOB: HI?!?
IVY: I'm Ivysaur.
That's my brother, James.
JAMES: (in a weird voice) Hi!
IVY: And this is crack.
JAMES: I haven't seen that since THREE DAYS!
BILL WURTZ: Dinosaurs, dinosaurs, dinosaurs.
BILL NYE: Consider the Following
Dinosaurs lived about 160 million years.
And they all died about sis-ty five million years ago,
(low-pitched) all at once!
Many scientists know believe that it might've been kinda peaceful.
CROWD: Ooh!
NOSTALGIA CRITIC: WELL IT DOES!
BILL NYE: Or groups of spaghetti.
SAKURAI: (growls)
THAT'S IT!
YouTube Poop and it's stupid spaghetti pranks?
I'm gonna show him what a real prank is all about!
Big rocks from space.
(crash)
BILL NYE: Big meaty rocks from space.
BILL WURTZ: (jingle) And the dinosaurs are gone!
There's another reason we think the dinosaurs were killed by meteorites.
All over the Earth and about the same level,
we found fossilized dinner.
We found this weird metal called iridium.
It's underground.
And you know, the Earth is hit by meteorites all the time.
ARTHUR: What?
BILL NYE: It could happen again.
Thank you for...
...considering the following.
Thanks for nothing!
NARRATOR: What's wrong with this picture?
WEEBL: Meanwhile in a parallel universe where humans don't exist...
GIRL: Dinosaurs and humans never lived at the same time!
GUY: What the hell's a human?
GIRL: I DON'T KNOW!
WEEBL: Meanwhile in our universe...
GUY: Say, do you ever wander what the world would be like if dinosaurs...
SAMUEL L. JACKSON: Enough is (ear-rape) ENOUGH!
I'VE HAAAAAD IT
GUY: Uh, what?
D.W.: You're fired!
GUY: WHAT?
IRATE GAMER: GET THE F*CK OFF MY PROPERTY!
(cries)
MICHAEL ROSEN: Nice.
BILL WURTZ: Dinosaurs, dinosaurs, dinosaurs.
BILL NYE: Now, how do we know that dinosaurs died out 65 million years ago?
MARIO HEAD: I'm-a goin' to fly for you!
(imitates airplane)
BILL NYE: Now, sometimes we find dinosaurs buried inside ass,
that got blasted out of ancient volcanoes.
It ofted contains the element potassium.
And some of that potassium is radioactive.
So, it suddenly changes into a whole new element, arrghgon.
Now, people say "I HATE YOU!"
(static)
Now, people say "Is this real life?"
(static)
Now, people say "Raisins?"
(static)
Now, people say "All toasters toast toast."
Why study dinosaurs? Are you kidding me, man?
In an ecosystem! That's right! Dinosaurs had their own ecosystem!
Nobody knows.
They're all gone!
Their ecosystems has changed completely!
Now, how do we know about dinosaurs and Dino ecosystems?
We dug it up!
Wha-wha-what's wrong with this pi-pi-pi-pi-pi-pi-pi-pi-
(Windows error sound)
-picture?
BILL WURTZ: (jingle) And the dinosaurs are gone!
GIRL: Remember, where there's smoke...
GAY LUIGI: There's fire.
GIRL: Got it?
JUNIOR: Um, well, I... Hmm... Well, no.
TIMMY: Good evening, sports fans!
Timmy Turker here with Lanceyard Stick
for what has to be the biggest game of all time.
And there's the start of the game,
and the March of Time is kicking off!
The seventh...
(explosion)
BILL WURTZ: (jingle) And the dinosaurs are gone!
BILL NYE: Well, that's our show.
If you'll excuse me, I've got to go to the bathroom.
