[MUSIC PLAYING]
SPEAKER: All right, so
hi and welcome everybody.
So today, we're here to
welcome Kerstin O'Shields who's
going to talk to us about
body language in business
and how to create
impact with it.
So she has 25 years of
training in performing
in theater and opera.
Kerstin O'Shields has
acquired an in-depth knowledge
of all levels of medication.
When she realized that the same
nuanced gestures, postures,
and expressions impacted every
one of her contacts offstage,
she set about developing
the type of training
she experienced for
her stage career
and adapting to
the communications
of everyday life.
Let's please welcome Kirsten.
KERSTIN O'SHIELDS: Thank you.
Thank you so much for
having me here today.
It is a pleasure to speak
to you about body language
and how that can influence
your job here at Google.
And I had the pleasure
of coming here early.
I had a lovely tour of walking
around a few of the buildings
and really being able to
take in some of the culture
that you have here, and
I want to say I really
enjoyed how positive
it is here because you
don't see that in every
single organization's culture.
So I just want to
say from the get go,
you guys have a really
enjoyable place to start.
Now, how can we add very
specific body language
to your part of Google?
What you bring to what you
do here every single day.
Now as mentioned, my
background is opera,
and I've been
teaching and singing
opera since I was 20 years old.
So I have a long
history with what
it is to perform
and engage people
for a very specific
amount of time
and how to bring
excitement to what
we're talking about or
singing, as I have done.
And the way I got into helping
business people with this
is in my studio where
I teach students--
and my students range from
anywhere from fourth grade
to right now, currently
one of my students is 75.
So I have a really fun
group that I'm working with,
and I work with those
students for a long time.
They stay in the
studio for a while.
I get to know them.
I get to know the families.
And they'll graduate
from high school.
They go off to college.
They come back for
their vacation,
and I want to get
together-- visit with them,
see how they're doing.
So we'll go out to coffee
because that's what
we do here in Seattle, right?
So we go out to coffee and I'm
going, OK, how's college going?
And I had a few of my
students say to me,
you know, I've been
performing with you for years.
I'm comfortable onstage
when I'm singing,
but I go to give a presentation,
and I feel awkward.
And I'm freaking out
because now, all I'm doing
is focusing on my information.
And so we started
talking about, well,
why are you having a
hard time with that?
And I invited a
few of my students
to come back to the studio
just to help them out.
That was my purpose.
I said, let's bring you back
to where you're comfortable.
Let's take a couple of the
performance aspects that
just make you feel
good, and let's
put those in your presentation.
And it worked beautifully.
All of a sudden, their
presentations came to life.
So we put that together,
they went back to college,
they did their presentations,
they got a great grade,
they're happy.
Mommy and Daddy are
happy because they're
the ones paying for college,
so everybody's happy.
Now after doing
this a few times,
I would go to
presentations like this
for my own personal
benefit, but now I'm
watching it through
a different lens.
And as I'm sitting there
watching these presentations,
I'm thinking to myself,
wow, these guys really suck.
They are doing a terrible job
of presenting their information.
They're so stuck on
their information,
they are not doing anything
to engage their audience.
So their attention is 100% here.
They have no idea how many
people are out in the audience,
or they have become
their own audience member
to their PowerPoint.
So you're staring at their
back the entire time.
How many times
have you seen that?
A few hundred times, exactly.
So there's no
engagement happening
and we start to get bored.
Now, here's the thing
about information,
and this is tricky
in a group like this
because a good portion of
your job is about information.
Would you agree?
Yes.
Here's the trick
about information,
and you're smack in
the middle of it.
Information is not
special anymore.
Information is available
to everyone 24/7
at our fingertips, and
guess who made that easy.
You.
Guess who's
responsible for that.
Google, because what do you do
if you want to find something?
Oh, I'll just Google it.
You've made that job
press very, very easy.
I can sit in my comfy
chair with my Doritos
and my dog at 3
o'clock in the morning,
and I can find out information
about anything on the planet
because I'm going to Google it.
So what that means now
is information is easy.
We can get the information
without you being there
because you all do an
amazing job at your job.
However, we as humans,
we're pack animals.
We are built to
respond to one another.
So yes, it's great
to get information,
but when it comes to creating
the business relationship,
to working within
your teams, how
you interact with information
is now what's important.
That's now what makes
the team successful.
Everybody can bring
information, but what
are you contributing as a
team member to the culture
that you're in?
So that begs the question,
how are you showing up?
Your information is
there, it's available,
but how are you showing
up with your information?
How are you engaging
the people that you're
talking to with that information
to get them excited about it,
to understand it's
important, and it's
an integral part
of what needs to be
built into the system
you're working on?
So how are you showing up?
That business relationship,
whether it's on,
you know, she and I are
just working together
on a quick little
project, or you
have to get together with
your team to build something,
or even more importantly,
you have to present something
to your higher-ups.
Not, what are you
showing up with?
How are you showing
up with that?
Do you see that distinction?
And it's such a
primal part of who
we are as humans because
again, we're pack animals.
This is not as much of
the conscious brain,
it is the subconscious
brain that reacts to this.
And this is, in
business relationships,
what makes some people seem, oh,
I just love working with Joe.
He's so easy to work with.
I always feel like he receives
my information very easily,
and we can get a
lot done together.
Or, working with Jack--
I always feel resistance
there, you know,
I really have to prove myself on
a regular basis with this guy.
I'm a little concerned about
talking to him about that.
How you show up is how
you're letting people know
you want to be interacted with.
It is your job to train people
in how to interact with you.
And I tell my clients
on a regular basis,
if you're waiting for a
response, you're too late.
What we reflect out is what
is reflected back to us,
so it's about, how are
you presenting yourself?
What are you showing up with?
What are you contributing
to that particular business
environment?
Not just, what's
your information?
You have to make that
information important.
You have to make yourself
important as a part
of that sphere of the
information and the team.
Now, I already said, this is
a primal part of the brain.
We have what are
called mirror neurons,
and mirror neurons are what
start snapping and going
when we feel like we
connect with someone.
And what happens is we start
to mirror what they're doing.
Now, you see this all
the time at malls.
You see little groups of
people, and they're all
walking around together.
They have the same hairstyle,
they wear the same clothes,
they keep the same facial
expressions on their face.
They now mirror in groups
because now, I feel
like I'm a part of that tribe.
I am mirroring to
stay connected.
Now, Hollywood has built a
multi-billion dollar business
off of this.
You'll go to the movies.
How many people have been
to the movies recently
or watch Netflix?
I mean, we can do
this at home too.
But when you go to
the movies, you go
and you get your favorite
candy, you get your popcorn,
you get your pop, you now
sit in a comfy little seat,
and the movie starts.
And halfway through
the movie, the couple
breaks up, the dog dies, or
the car goes off the cliff,
and what are you doing
out in the movie theater?
You're sobbing.
You're just crying
responding to what you see.
Why are you crying?
You have chocolate,
you have popcorn,
you have your favorite pop,
you are physically very
comfortable.
Why are you crying?
You're crying
because those mirror
neurons have caused you to
emotionally connect to what
you're seeing in front of you.
So now, you are the one
reacting as if your life has
become a personal train wreck.
And those people aren't
even in the room with you.
That's how strong those
mirror neurons connect.
Now, think of how much higher
that level of connection
is going to go when
you're physically
in the same room as people--
it's even stronger.
So we can't help but to
connect with each other
on that level on a
very regular basis.
So what you reflect out is
what is reflected back to you.
If you're waiting
for a reaction,
you're just reflecting
out what another person
has reflected to you.
Are you going to wait
to get what you want,
or are you going
to reflect it out?
And start to use that to create
the culture of connectivity
within your team.
So taking this aspect
really goes back, again,
what are you reflecting out?
How are you showing up?
Because what we
physically see is
what we mentally respond to
and assume and what we also--
I just showed--
emotionally respond to.
Let me say that one more time.
What we physically see is
what we mentally assume,
and what we
emotionally respond to,
and again, this is
on a primal level
this is on a pack animal level.
This is not on a "blue is my
favorite color" kind of level.
OK, not on our conscious choice
aspect, on our subconscious
choice aspect.
And that's why you'll have
one person walk into the room
and everybody goes,
oh, they're here.
And all of a sudden, they have
this huge effect on the room
because they have
come in reflecting out
a very specific attitude and
very specific body language
that creates attention.
Or, another person will walk
into the room and nobody
knows because they
are starting to use
body language to be hidden--
to not be seen
And as pack animals and as
humans, we yearn to be seen.
We want to feel included
because that's what we do.
We're part of a tribe.
And it was really interesting
and exciting for me
to sit in the cafeteria today
before this presentation
and watched the culture, and we
had a conversation about that--
of what's happening
here at Google.
I would say one of the tribe
identifiers was actually
smiling.
I don't always see that.
So again, you're starting
at a very good point here,
but are you walking in the
room to create culture or just
respond to it?
Now, I'm going to go into
very specific aspects of what
this looks like.
What is very specific body
language that shows leadership?
That shows connectivity?
How do you create that
just by moving your body
very specific ways?
Now, I'm going to give
you two examples of what
this looks like.
And I'm going to go back to
my opera days for a second.
One of the characters
I played was Contessa.
Now, this is countess in
"The Marriage of Figaro".
Now Contessa, she's very
regal because she's countess,
and she has a very
major role of being
distraught because you find out
at the beginning of the opera--
and she finds out
as the character--
that her husband, the count,
has cheated on her again.
So for three hours
every night, I
had to keep my face like this--
my eyebrows really condensed.
My forehead would
ache every night.
I would have to rub my forehead,
loosen up those muscles,
and then I'm back again
with a very distraught face.
But as Contessa, because she's
a countess and she's regal,
I had to keep my
posture very tall.
I kept my body
very open this way.
I never put my hands
below my weight
because that showed communality,
and she was of high status.
However, I always kept my
palms open to the audience
because I wanted to show that
she wanted to be loved again--
she was open to
being loved again.
So as Contessa,
you see her first
at the beginning
of the second act,
and she's sitting
on the bed and she
comes to the front of
the stage and sings
[OPERA SINGING]
Now in that moment,
she is begging for God
to bring back his love,
and if she can't have it,
she would just rather die.
Obviously, she could
use some counseling.
That's a given-- therapy
would help her, yes.
Unfortunately, Mozart
did not write that
into the rest of the opera.
It had to come through
in a different way.
However, it ended
with a happy ending.
So if I were to grab this
glass of water as Contessa,
I would walk coming this way.
I would never put
my hands down again.
I would still keep my face
very distressed and distraught,
take it back this
way, and walk off.
Now, I played another
character called Anina.
Anina was the servant
to the main character,
Violetta in La Traviata.
Now, you find out at the
beginning of the opera
that Violetta is
dying of consumption,
but she's a party girl.
And she's not about to give
up that lifestyle, which
unfortunately, is killing
her faster and faster.
Anina is the mother
figure to Violetta
but, because of her
status as a servant,
she has zero power to
do anything about this.
So all she could do
is sit back and watch
this woman she considers
her daughter kill
herself faster and faster.
So she's distraught
the entire opera,
and there I am for another
three hours every night--
forehead aching-- with
my face like this.
So both of these
characters were coming
from the exact same emotional
status of distraught,
so my face was the same
for the two of them.
However, as Anina, because I
wanted to show of lower status,
I wanted to show hard
work, and she was older,
I wanted to show a
little bit smaller.
Now, I can't slouch because
that's not good for singing,
so what I did is
I bent my knees,
and I kept my arms
very close to my side.
And I never showed my
palms to the audience.
So as Anina, I would go get
this glass of water this way,
and keep everything
very, very closed
and move very, very tight.
Now, this is the
exact same body,
but you see how you perceive
me as two completely different
women with how I'm holding my
body and the body language.
So how you walk into
a room is how people
are going to perceive you.
Therefore, that's how they're
going to react to you,
and that's what I'm referring to
in creating the culture of how
you want to be responded to--
how you actually train
people to interact with you.
You're the one who decides
how you walk into that room.
You're the one who decides
how you're perceived.
And the question with that
is, how are you showing up?
So the first part of
that is, do you know?
Do you actually know
how you're showing up?
Because awareness is everything.
If you're not aware of
how you're showing up,
you're not aware of what you're
telling people about you,
and how you want
them to talk to you,
how you want them to
take you seriously.
Do you want them to perceive
you as just someone who's
going to be off to the side,
and tight, and just upset,
difficult to work
with, or are you
going to be that
positive person who's
ready to do work
as a team member,
lift up others, and get
in there and get it done?
What do those things look like?
What's the physicality of that?
So that's the physicality
of leadership and presence,
creating that on purpose.
So there's four pillars
I'm going to talk about,
and I'm going to give
you very specific tools
today that you can start
putting to work now.
And I'm here to tell you
as soon as you get these
and you walk out--
at first, I see, like, OK--
to this kind of thing.
And then the next thing I
see is people, like, ugh,
that posture.
Ugh.
And then you start seeing
it on everybody else,
but the beauty of that is
your awareness now picks up.
Therefore, your presence now
starts becoming on purpose.
The reactions to you are
now what you're cultivating.
So let's talk about the
first aspect of presence,
and that is posture.
When we're talking about
building a business
and creating it-- yes, and I
get the best view in the house
as soon as this light
goes up because well, I
see everybody go, ooh OK.
So yes, you get to watch me
but, this goes both ways.
So posture-- when we're talking
about building a business
and creating a location,
this is a great location.
Location, location,
location, correct?
When we're talking about
you showing up in business,
it is posture, posture, posture.
Posture is everything because
it is the pillar for confidence
and competence.
You could be doing
everything else correct, OK?
All right body
language, all the right
words, but if your posture is
not showing up with leadership,
you have dumbed down
everything you just did.
And that's an "it"
factor for the person
who walks in the room--
is posture.
Now today, societal
posture is horrific
because guess what
we're all doing?
Right, exactly.
Especially here, right?
Because we're sitting in
traffic for how many hours?
So I said, because
there were landslides ,
I sat in traffic for an hour and
a half what should have taken
me 20 minutes.
Yes, so I got a very
deep understanding
of that yesterday.
Now, how do you actually
correctly make posture happen?
What does that look like?
Posture is supposed to be
built off of your spine,
so when we lift,
you want to lift
from the center of the body.
And a lot of times when I say
posture, what I see is this.
All of a sudden, everything
becomes tight and up, OK?
That's not what we're looking
for because what we physically
see is what we mentally
assume is what we emotionally
respond to.
So even if you're
tall but you're tight,
you're going to be
a person who comes
across very tense and a
little iffy to work with.
Yeah, I got tall posture, but
dang girl, bring it down, OK?
So it's learning, what does that
actually physically feel like?
What does that look like?
How do I bring
that to the table?
It's always off your
spine and making
sure you're coming up from the
skull directly behind the ear
right here.
Now, you'll notice--
see this spot
I'm talking about right here?
That's in line.
We have this as normal
societal posture.
This spot is way in
front of that line.
Now, if I were to walk
in the room like this--
this is normal
societal posture--
would you buy into me being a
really successful body language
stategist if I
walked in like this?
No.
I don't look professional,
I look disengaged,
and I look 10 pounds heavier.
I'm not cool with that.
I want to look fully
present, fully engaged,
and the leader in my
industry, the second I
walk into the room.
Now, here's why
this is a big deal.
It takes a half a second to
create a first impression.
I decide if you're
a family person,
if you live by yourself.
Do you have kids?
Are you a dog person?
Are you a cat person?
I make all these assumptions
within a half a second, done.
I can be completely wrong,
but to me, that's who you are.
It takes a 10 full
one-on-one hours
to completely erase
a first impression.
That's a 40 hour workweek to
change four people's minds.
Do you guys have time to do
that in your work schedule?
No, no one has time to do
that in their work schedule.
We're already working
past 40 hours a week,
you don't have another 40
hours to stick in there
to change someone's
mind just because you
want a better
relationship with them
on a business relationship.
So creating that first
impression right from the
get go is very important.
Now, you can change
it as you go, OK?
Every hour you spend with that
person, we're slowly adjusting,
but that also comes
with consistency.
Are you consistently
showing up one way,
or are you flip flopping
where you show up?
You were really great
and happy the other day,
and then ugh the next day.
So consistency is what creates
a lasting, consistent impression
of who you are to work with,
of how people refer you
to other people, of how
they refer you to your boss.
That makes a big difference.
So what does good
posture look like?
When we take the example--
AUDIENCE: I would like to pass.
KERSTIN O'SHIELDS:
You will pass?
OK.
All right, OK.
So good posture looks balanced.
Now, let me ask you a
question real quick,
did I ask you to come up here?
AUDIENCE: No.
KERSTIN O'SHIELDS: No.
AUDIENCE: I wanted to, actually.
I thought, why him and not me?
KERSTIN O'SHIELDS:
I know, right?
It's free.
So I didn't say a single word
asking him to come up here.
However, I led him
to an opportunity
with my clear intent
of my presence.
You can create
greatness in a room
strictly off of your presence.
OK, so what we're
going to do is,
you want to balance your body
with one foot just a little bit
in front of the other.
Now what this does is--
think about buildings, you have
to balance on a foundation.
So you want to put
your body in a position
where it's easily balanced.
When you see a person
who does this a lot,
it's usually because their
feet are too far out or they're
too close together
because the body's always
working to be in harmony.
So if you're a fidgeter,
mover like this,
it's because you're not
balanced on your feet correctly.
And having one foot
in front of the other
allows your knees to be
just a little bit soft.
It allows better blood
flow through the body.
You're more physically
comfortable.
You're also getting more
oxygen to your brain.
That's putting you
on your a-game,
and that's making you
a better team member.
So your feet are actually
really important in business.
Who knew?
OK, so we're going to
balance there, good.
And you're doing a good job of--
just let your arms
hang and relax.
Now right now, if I were to
put my finger here and right
at the middle of his
ear, this is about--
that's the angle
we're looking at.
Do you see how that's
similar to that there?
OK, so now, you're going to
be my Ken doll for a second.
OK, we're going to Barbie
doll you into place
here-- just relax.
OK, and then I
want you to go up.
Good.
Now, relax this way.
Now, this is a really
common problem,
especially in the tech
industry because we're
used to physically holding
our bodies forward this way.
So what happens is
I'll go to open here,
and now the muscle
has to over stretch.
So he has to really hold it.
Do you see how he
looks a little tense?
OK, relax.
Oh, my goodness.
Did you see that
come down two inches?
Now, do you see how
all of a sudden,
he seems like a person
who's easier to work with?
AUDIENCE: I must be.
KERSTIN O'SHIELDS:
Compared to, hi, I'm
here to do my presentation.
So relax into that, good.
And then what I
want you to do is--
we have a muscle association
here that we create
that tends to be like this.
So as I brought him up,
this muscle association
stayed the same, and now
he's looking at the ceiling.
So we're going to open here.
Good, relax into my hands.
Now, stay there,
and we're going to--
there, yeah.
So now what's happening--
good.
So it's learning to rotate the
body into the correct position,
and you do have to stretch these
muscles if they're too tight.
You need to condition
them to open more,
so you don't feel like
you have to hold it there
the entire time
because again, that's
producing an image of
you're a very tense person.
So this is the aspect that I
work on with my clients of, OK,
what are the stretches
we need to do
to get it to feel
comfortable for you
to physically be in
the correct position,
so then it's comfortable to
walk, and move, and converse
like that on a regular basis.
So right now, it's a
little more difficult--
I keep having to
open his torso here
to get the ribcage in
the right position.
Good, there we go.
Go a little taller.
There we go, good.
OK good, now, do you see
he smiled all of a sudden?
That's actually a
really common response
I get because all of a
sudden, the body went, ooh,
I'm in a good spot.
And it's interesting to watch.
As soon as people get into
a correct, comfortable
physical position, they open.
Now all of a sudden, you're
the easier person to work with,
and also when the
chin comes down,
your eyes physically open.
Now, you have
better eye contact.
You look like you're
engaging people
instead of, well, I'm here, but
I'm a little bit closed off.
Even if you did mean to be that
way, it looks that way, OK?
Now, what was your name?
AUDIENCE: Chen.
KERSTIN O'SHIELDS: Thank you
so much, I appreciate it.
AUDIENCE: Thank you very much.
KERSTIN O'SHIELDS: Thank you.
OK, so now as you see him
walking down the hall--
but encourage each other to-- if
you see someone slumping down,
be like, hey, you know what?
When Kerstin was here, remember?
And you'll be that way
from across the room.
I've done that.
You know, of course,
I'm the coach,
and I'll see people and go.
And all of a sudden, everybody
in the room goes ooh.
But it elevates the
level of the room.
Now, you see what a
difference it made for him
when the shoulders came down.
All of a sudden, he
looks more relaxed.
He looks like he's an
easier person to deal with.
So when you walk in with
those very specific aspects,
now you're letting
someone know this is
how you can interact with me.
So instead of being the tense
person walking in the room,
now you're the ready,
competent, confident person
ready to do some work.
Does this make sense?
OK, good.
So now we're going to go
to the next aspect of how
to create trust, and that
is the magic of your elbows.
Did you know elbows are
really important in business?
Everybody's going,
where are these body
parts coming from in business?
I thought that it was
all about my brains.
So when it comes elbows,
what we're referring to
is opening the torso
from the bottom
of your chin down to your
hips-- down to the pelvic bone.
In the front, we have the
least amount of bone coverage
to protect our
most vital organs.
So when we open ourselves
to another person
and actually expose that area
without trying to cover it,
we are now saying, I trust you.
Now remember, what
we physically see
is what we mentally assume
and emotionally respond to.
So if you're reflecting
out, I trust you,
now what you're saying and
letting other people know is,
I'm trustworthy.
So that's what's reflected
out and then is reflected back
to you, so that's another
part of the posture
and being very specific
with your arm gestures
in the front creating leadership
in a very specific presence
to create an elevated
environment of competence,
confidence, and trust.
How big are those three
things in your business?
They're huge.
They're everything.
If you don't have those
three things on your team,
you're in trouble.
And with how fast the tech
industry works and moves,
if you don't have
those three things,
you're really in trouble.
This is the fastest
industry in the world.
You have to have those things
to have successful product.
So when it comes
to elbows, you want
to make sure you're not holding
them in tight to your body.
Now here in the
Pacific Northwest,
you see a lot of this because
it's damp, and it's cold,
and we're trying to
stay warm, honestly,
but when you have people coming
from other parts of the country
here, we have what's
called the Seattle freeze.
We look offish, and we have a
very big reputation for that.
And it's true.
This is something very
normally seen in this area.
Yes, it comes, honestly,
from our weather conditions,
but that's not going
to change how someone's
going to respond to you.
They're still going
to see you as offish.
You're in a protective stance.
Yes, I'm listening.
I'm smart, I'm listening
to what you're saying,
not sure if I'm buying in.
Can you see that
my body language?
You're going to have to work
a little harder to convince me
of what you're saying compared
to, I'm smart, I'm here,
I'm listening, and I'm
collaborative to work
with you and your information.
And all I did was move my arms--
that was it.
So when you're
talking with people
about very specific
concepts, it's
a very big deal in
how much trust you
show in that person's ability.
Making that eye contact
first, showing them
you're engaging them, and
then allowing your body
to be open and show the
trust, show your confidence,
and that you're
willing to work them.
So you want to have a little
space between your elbows,
which putting your posture
in the correct place
naturally does.
If my shoulders roll forward,
all of a sudden, that space
disappears.
So your posture and
the trust aspect
are a big component together.
Now, you can move your
arms-- we want movement.
We want that kind aspect because
we find movement exciting.
We pay billions and billions
of dollars every year
to watch people run around,
and we get excited about it.
And we buy their shirts,
and we yell at the TV
because we want our to win.
Because they're running around.
That's all they're
doing, and we're paying
huge amounts of money for it.
That's how exciting
we find movement,
but we find fluid, well-done
movement the most exciting.
So it's getting
that body language
to work together to make you
look at the top of your game.
Now, there's one more aspect
of really creating engagement
and that's approachability.
Now, a big part
of approachability
is creating interest.
Your eyebrows are magic
when it comes to this.
A light lift in your eyebrows
is a show of interest,
so what you're
reflecting out is what's
being reflected back to you
Now, here's an
example of where you
see this on a regular basis.
When someone walks into the
room that you find attractive,
what do you do?
All of a sudden, those
eyebrows shoot up.
Or, something exciting
happens or someone
that you really like you haven't
seen for a long time, oh, hi!
We're showing interest.
Now, if you want someone to
be interested in your product,
in your project but
you're coming in, OK,
so I have something that
I want to present to you.
What are you asking for?
You're not showing
a lot of competence.
You're showing a
little insecurity.
You're not totally open that
they're going to like it,
and you're really not
interested in what
they have to say because
you're protecting yourself
against rejection.
What you reflect out is
reflected back to you.
Non-verbal communication is now
considered 80% of what we say.
So when you walk in
the room like that,
you have just now
asked for them to not
like 80% of what you just said.
Is that a good idea?
No, that's not a good idea.
So when you want
to present an idea
or ask someone to do
something for you,
come into the room on purpose.
Come in with your confidence,
with your competence
in your posture.
Come into the room
open, trusting
there are going to
like what you have.
And then show interest not
only in them but in yourself
by keeping your eyebrows
slightly lifted.
Those particular
concepts working together
raise your chances 80% of
getting the response you want.
Those are really good numbers.
Those are really good numbers.
If you can guarantee 80% of
everything you wanted in life,
would you do it?
If you knew walking
into any situation I
got an 80% chance of
getting exactly what I want,
would you do it?
Now, you have the
tools to do it.
Now, it's learning to get
those things to work together,
and so that's what I
work on with my clients
because we now
have to figure out
how all three of those
things physically
feel together because
we're not used
to doing those necessarily.
And so I work with my
clients on creating
very specific visuals, presence
when they walk into a room.
We go through
their presentation.
OK, so you were
doing really good,
and then all of a sudden
when you got to the concept
that you feel is the ice breaker
or is the one that is really
the game-changer
but it's something
different than everybody's
used to, do you close down?
Which I see a lot, by the way,
because also they're concerned
they're going to be rejected.
No.
So we work to keep that
engagement very specific
the entire time.
This is a way to get
to your projects,
through your projects, and
create success in your team
every single day.
Is that the culture
that Google wants?
Yes, it is-- very much so.
So this is something that
you can, number one, start
with yourself and then
bring to your team,
bring to your manager,
bring to the entire company
to elevate not only
what you do but what
is happening here at
Google every single day
and honestly affecting
everybody in the world
every single day because
Google is everywhere.
Google has, honestly, pretty
much taken over the world
because it doesn't matter
where you're at in the world,
it's present.
So this is not something that
just affects you here today.
This is something that
affects the entire planet.
Be a part of that.
Show up on purpose every single
day and make a difference.
So at this point, I would love
to open this up to questions,
and I'm here to serve you.
So please, feel free
to ask any questions.
If you want to be Barbie
dolled, we can do that.
Yes, go ahead.
SPEAKER: We have
a mic right here.
AUDIENCE: Do you think tall
people have any advantages?
KERSTIN O'SHIELDS:
So what it's about--
that's a very good
question because I
get a lot of questions
about aesthetics,
tall, short, male, female, how
that makes a difference, right?
But remember, this
is the primal part
of the brain that
we're dealing with,
and that's just dealing with
each other as pack animals.
Now, it's not so much
about the aesthetics.
It's about symmetry.
When you show up with
your upmost symmetry,
you are now making yourself
more visually attractive
because as humans, we find
symmetry very attractive.
Buildings are built in symmetry,
art is built in symmetry,
nature is built in symmetry.
That's why we love going out
and hiking here, especially
in Northwest, because
it's gorgeous.
We have nature everywhere.
So when you align your body,
you are now putting yourself
in your upmost symmetry, which
now naturally draws us to you.
Not so much your aesthetics.
OK now, I'm going to say--
so for males, it's just--
work with your actual
symmetry because then we
look at as a whole person not
specific length, body parts.
So for men--
I see tall men,
they'll do this a lot--
they bring themselves
down to make themselves
smaller because they don't want
to come across as overbearing.
However, you just lost your
confidence and your competence.
Sure, he can be a
game-player, but you may not
be the person who is my
go-to, does that make sense?
Now for women, the
other part is symmetry
which I get a lot is the fact
that we have extra real estate.
And what you'll see is--
I'll try to put women in
their actual symmetry,
and I don't want to look
inappropriate, right?
I get that, too.
And it's inappropriate as long
as your body's in symmetry.
When you take it
out of symmetry,
that's when it
becomes inappropriate
because now we're drawing
the eye to different parts--
specific parts-- of the body.
I call this the Friday night.
This is not appropriate
for your board meetings.
So for both men and women--
and they're coming from
two different mentalities.
Men don't want to
feel overbearing,
and women don't want
to feel inappropriate.
It is not about the aesthetics,
but it's about the symmetry.
When we see the
upmost symmetry, we
look at you as a whole person.
What we see physically is
what we assume mentally,
so we'll see you
assessing your body
and being very aware of it.
So if you're physically
aware, well obviously,
they're mentally with it.
You see that correlation?
So it's a big part of
leadership and really
allowing yourself to
advance in your business
without having to work
extra hard for it.
It's a given.
AUDIENCE: Thank you
for your answer.
KERSTIN O'SHIELDS:
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah?
AUDIENCE: What's
your perspective
on the differences between
an in-person presence
and a video call presence?
KERSTIN O'SHIELDS: Yeah,
that's a very good question.
So I actually do 90% of
my coaching virtually,
and I love it.
And I was real hesitant about
switching from in-person
to virtual.
However, two things happened.
Number one, my business boomed
because I now speak nationally.
I work with international
speakers and best selling
authors.
Currently, I have
clients that I'm
working with on a weekly basis
in three different states.
So what that's
allowed me to do is
be just as specific on video,
and it's even more important
that you keep it in mind because
you have programmed yourself
to, as soon as you come up
to a desk, what do you do?
It's just become a
mental habit, so now you
have to reprogram
yourself to be here and do
everything exactly the same even
when you're not at your desk.
So from the hips up, whether
you're sitting or standing,
everything should
be exactly the same.
Now, I love coaching in video
because what I get to do
is, we'll go through something
and I'm like, oh, watch,
rewind.
Look what just happened.
So for me, as a coach and as
a trainer, it's phenomenal,
and I love doing video
because if you can do it
in front of that little
red dot that's going on,
that just freaks people out
because it can be reseen.
So once you have mastered
it in front of that,
you're golden in
front of people.
So I do have my clients
do video homework,
and they send it to me.
We critique it together.
We do video work
together, but really, it's
what we physically see is
what we mentally respond to.
So it's, how are you showing up?
If you want them
to assume you're
going to be a specific
way in person,
you have to be
that way on video.
Yes?
AUDIENCE: So do I just do this
when I show up in the team area
and then when I'm coding I
can just go back to my slouch
and "do not disturb" posted?
KERSTIN O'SHIELDS: That's
an excellent question
because we have what I like
to call muscle default.
Another name we know for
that is muscle memory.
So if you're like this for,
let's say, eight hours a day--
it's usually more, right?
Doing this but then
all of a sudden,
you expect your body
to be comfortable
walking in this way.
That is not going to happen.
You can make it
happen, but as we saw,
it's going to come across stiff
because now your muscles have
actually physically
been shortened
to a different length.
So now you have
to overstretch it,
and now it's going to be
a little uncomfortable.
So that's why I work with
stretches with my clients
making sure they're
actually physically
putting their bodies in a way
that is going to be comfortable
all the time.
So it's just creating
that muscle default
that will work with
you all the time, yes.
I think we have time
for one more question.
AUDIENCE: So I've heard
that to show interest
when somebody else is talking,
you want to lean forward.
And so if I'm doing
this kind of, you know--
I'm showing
confidence, and I also
want to show interest
by leaning forward.
I sort of go
against that, so how
do I show interest and yet show
confidence at the same time?
KERSTIN O'SHIELDS: It
depends on the situation
you want to create.
So if you want to be, you
know, girl, I'm coming to you.
We're just going
to have this talk.
I'm so at your level.
that's showing
interest that way,
but you are not coming to
the situation as a leader.
You have now brought
yourself down to,
I am here at your level,
which is an option if that's
what that situation asks for.
However, you are not a
thought leader in that moment.
You're just a wall
that's listening.
You really don't have presence.
You have interest because
your eyebrows are up,
you got your head
side a little bit.
You're showing caring
because now you've
exposed this part
of your neck, so we
got a little bit
of this going on,
but you're not there
to be the leader.
You're there just to be an ear.
If you want to really show
interest as a person who's
in a leadership role or who
wants to be in a leadership
role, then you come to that.
Yes, I hear what you're saying,
but you see, from here up--
from the hips up-- it
always stays the same.
So that means if you're
sitting at a desk,
you still want to make
sure you can lean forward--
that's fine, but you
don't want to collapse.
So thank you so much for
having me here today.
I would like to extend
to you the ability
to find out what this is like.
What is it like to actually
go through and really assess
how you're showing up?
And I do introductory sessions,
so we could meet virtually--
online--
and the nice thing about that
is you guys do a lot of that.
So you'll get the
feel of what it's
like to really create
the culture of what's
coming through that screen.
And we'll discuss,
what are your goals?
Where do you want to take
where you're at right now
and take it to the next level?
And then I can show you very
specific body language and how
to create that for yourself
because you have the ability
to show up on purpose
every single day,
and I would love to
help you with that.
So thank you so much,
and I appreciate
the pleasure of being here.
[APPLAUSE]
