the six tips that will allow you to deal
with angry people more effectively that
you did not know about before today be
it a husband and wife fighting two
children fighting at school maybe a boss
and his employee fighting we see anger
everywhere yet we never learn how to
deal with angry people this is the main
issue because this stuff is never taught
to us and today I am going to break down
and tell you six things that you can do
to deal with angry people more
effectively in order to have more
harmonious relationships and be happy
that's so important keeping that in mind
remember that there are five things that
you need to be aware of whenever you're
dealing with angry people and if you
recognize that these five are the
primary things that a person who is
angry wants to you know either get
across or that you need to be aware of
then you can follow these six tips very
very easily keeping that in mind here it
is number one you need to know that
someone who is angry they need to be
acknowledged that's right
they want you to know that they are
angry that they are pissed off and you
have done something about it or someone
else did something and now they're
expressing it to you so it's important
to know that acknowledge their anger
recognize that they are upset something
has upset them and now it is up to you
to either listen or understand what is
the point of view that they are trying
to push across and also the second thing
is that they do not want to be
patronized they do not want to be told
that you need to count down
you need to relax this is so important
and the other thing is they do not want
to be told that they are coming across
in a very angry tone hell that's that's
all issue they they have a communication
issue but that's a different thing but
here they are coming full throttle they
do not want to be told to calm down and
to reduce their tone and all of the
stuff because they are trying to break
through and deliver a message to you
what is an angry person trying to do all
they're trying to do is convey something
to you and break through move forward
ultimately convey their message keeping
all of this in mind if you recognize all
five of these components that people are
trying to communicate their anger the
best way they know how to or the best
way that their brain tells them to this
will become much easier keeping that in
mind if you want to overcome your anger
or deal with other angry people more
effectively do these six things number
one tell them these two words two words
if someone is angry with you just tell
them this you're right you are right of
course not in that tone you're right you
are right
come here let's sit down I understand
that I made you unhappy
notice that I'm talking in the past
tense which already relates well to
someone who is angry I'm sorry I made
you unhappy let's sit down and talk
about it I really think that I want to
hear what you have to say and so that I
can help you and understand where you
are coming from do you notice the body
language as along with the tone that I'm
using when we do it in this fashion and
you say the words you're right
immediately the person loses all of
their steam try it go out and try it
comment down below and tell me if this
works for you just go ahead and tell
people when they're angry at you that
you're right I'm sorry that I made you
unhappy
always frame it in the past tense so
that they can lose all of their steam
and you can move forward and get to the
point at hand what is the message that
they are trying to communicate to you
your step number two you need to learn
how to count to ten remember in the
previous video hit the I button go watch
that when I was talking about why people
get angry and the different kinds of
anger the entire chemical reaction that
happens in the brain lasts only for
about 10 to 20 seconds so all you have
to do is either count backwards from 5
to 1 take in a deep breath at the same
time and let it out
doing the simple thing allows the
message that is being communicated to
the emotional brain from the senses to
reach the prefrontal cortex and so that
you can make a good decision so that you
can contain your anger in a much better
way either counter ten or even bite your
lip bite your tongue if there are a lot
of methods to doing this all you want to
do is post porn as much as possible your
explosion you want to contain your anger
as best as you can for those first 20
seconds and once you do that then the
reaction itself would have died down if
there are people around you who are
actually constantly getting angry just
tell them to contain themselves for
about 20 seconds whenever they feel the
need to react and then tell them to
respond in all of these other ways that
will allow them to communicate
themselves much better and keep both
parties happy tip number 3 rise up rise
up stand up if someone is trying to
dominate you if someone is dominating
you in a conversation you need to get up
to their level let's say you're sitting
down you need to stand up and reach a
level with them because remember that in
the primal brain we when we express our
anger or aggression to someone else when
it comes from this angle it tends to be
a dominating force and it can mask
anything that we try to do after that be
it say something try to talk some sense
into them however once we reach a level
we make eye contact and we stay at their
level we hold our own then we can deal
with them in a much better way such a
simple thing to do yet we fail to
recognize these things body language
plays an important role in reacting to
anger as well so do this and it will
help the next thing that you can
do tip number four is providing a full
stop
once you have communicated the same
information you saw how I give long
pauses you're right I'm sorry I made you
unhappy let's sit down and talk about it
I think we can come to a good conclusion
okay
notice the long pause full stops are so
effective
once you've communicated your message to
the other person shut up don't say
anything more remember that they are
trying to break through and you do not
want to react to that break through by
screaming back or creating more anger
within them adding more fire or adding
more wood to the fire that's already
burning really bright within them having
said that your step number five if you
have been quiet for a length of time
contrary to what I just said speak a
little bit louder do not match the tone
however try to make sure that you are
heard by the other person so be a little
louder whenever someone is coming at you
full throttle so that they get the
message across so that you can say hey
you're right you're right you're right
this works effectively - and finally the
sixth tip that you need to know in order
to deal with angry people try to
understand that they need to be specific
you want to be precise whenever you're
dealing with angry people because we
don't know the reason why they are
behaving this way it always doesn't come
off as this explosion it people might
sometimes leave a note saying that I'm
angry with you people who express anger
in different ways however we want to get
down to the root cause remember that we
want to not associate anger with certain
people that hey you're an angry person
or this is an angry person that I need
to deal with all the time you want to
isolate it to certain incidents why are
you angry what particular incident
tipped you off to make you feel angry
get down to the specifics and be precise
if you can be precise every time someone
around you gets angry then you can
ultimately get to a resolution you can
conclude that okay this is what is
dealing
this is what this person is going
through okay now let's try and find a
solution makes sense the thing is
putting all of these six tips together
that creates the most powerful result
you want to understand why people get
angry you want to understand the
different kinds of anger in different
situations often we don't manage to deal
with the anger of ourselves or we deal
with other angry people in the heat of
the moment we aren't as skilled as we
should be to do that and that's why
allowing them to calm down giving them a
time out this is a bonus tip give them a
timeout tip number seven if you can
actually allow them to go and cool down
or escape the situation from where
you're currently standing move away
separate yourself from that person allow
those chemicals to die down this will
work for you so give each other a
timeout move away from that person if
it's a hostile relationship you're
fighting with your spouse you're unhappy
with your kid for scoring low marks
you're unhappy with your employee or
they're unhappy with your boss just
distance yourself from each other and
later sit down once you've come down
talk about it try and understand where
this person was coming from why did that
person get angry and now what can we do
about it always try to find out what you
can do about it so that the resolution
is reached otherwise the anger just
tends to continue over a long period of
time you want all of this to make sense
hit the eye button go watch that video
that I made on why people get angry in
the first place what are the chemical
reactions that happen within the brain
and of course the three different kinds
of anger
I have detailed in that video go check
it out and see how it can be applied to
each of these seven tips that I have now
shared with you if you found this video
useful hit the thumbs up button comment
down below tell me what you want to see
in future videos remember I am dedicated
to making you the best version of
yourself I want you to have an amazing
2019 coming up and I really want you to
go places we are going to make an entire
list of different things when it comes
to actually dealing with different kinds
of people in our lives because people
buy from people and if we are really
what we say we are in terms of being
social animals we need to acknowledge
this so if you're looking for more stuff
like this all about psychology and
becoming the best version of yourself
performing like a champion subscribe hit
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never miss another video this is Vikram
signing off and I will see you in the
next session
