C-H?
- Correct!
- I am the smartest man alive!
[Laughing]
He gonna have a stupid party
every time he passes a grade?
Whee!
[Carl] Everybody's having
a good time but you.
Spoiled snot!
Get outta here.
Let me ask you
something, Carl.
You started here, what,
25 years ago?
Night bellboy at
the Philadelphia Madison?
After all your hard work,
how would you feel...
workin' for some punk kid
like Billy?
Could be worse.
Whee!
That's nice.
Man, I'm so nervous.
First and second grade
were easy,
but social studies, division.
This is gonna be tough!
Man, I'm so nervous.
First and second grade
were easy,
but social studies, division.
This is gonna be tough!
Relax, dude.
Jackpot!
Good morning, class.
[Together]
Good morning,
Miss Vaughn.
We're gonna start today
by reading together...
a short story entitled,
My Sister, Fanny.
[Laughing]
Quiet!
Let's all open up our
Reading Is Fun books...
to page 69.
Sixty-nine!
[Laughing]
Class, say hello
to Billy Madison.
[Together]
Hello, Billy Madison.
Billy is a nuisance.
He will be gone in two weeks.
I apologize for
this inconvenience.
- Geez, what's up her butt?
- What was that, Billy?
I said,
"Reading is good."
Can we start
the story now?
Dan, you may begin.
"On-Once...
"th-th-there
w-w-was...
"a g-g-girl...
"who wa-wa-wanted
t-to...
Kid can't even read.
Cut it out, dude.
You're gonna get us
in trouble.
"Air-air...
p-p-p-p..."
To-To-Today, junior!
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
[Giggling]
Ow! You're tearing
my ear off!
Making fun of a little kid
for trying to read!
Are you psycho?
Do you not have a soul?
I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
I've been physically abused
in the ear.
You keep your mouth shut
for the next two weeks,
or I'm gonna fail you.
End of story.
I see
your lips movin'.
But I can't make out
the words. I'm deaf!
Oh, Veronica Vaughn!
# So hot
Want to touch the heinie #
[Howls]
You know that girlie
I've been chasin'?
