YouTuber movies fail
or do they?
First we'll check out Smosh's movie
Alright, started out with half-naked bitches.
Right where women belong, right guys?
Constantly objectified with their minds underappreciated.
So the concept of the movie is that they want to remove a YouTube video,
but they can't get Mr. YouTube to just delete the video
so instead they have to go all sci-fi
and teleport themselves inside YouTube videos.
It's actually an amazing concept.
Unfortunately very few critics gave a shit about it.
Apparently 45% of the audience liked it.
So, good concept; shitty movie.
Then there's the "SMILEY" trailer.
My own cousin said the movie was absolute garbage.
Let's let the trailer speak for itself..
Girl: HE CHASED ME AND HE GOT ME AND HE RIPPED MY SHIRT!
He chased me, he got me, and oh my god he ripped my shirt.
So wait, he got you.. but he didn't kill you.
I'm so fuckin' scared right now.
Girl: Smiley's trying to kill me!
[screaming]
Well you can kinda tell just from the trailer that it's a shitty movie, because the main character's unrelatable.
[chuckles]
She's always complaining - there's nothing likeable about her.
For all I know, you could be that cheerleader bitch who always treated everyone like shit in highschool
and now you're simply getting attacked by karma
boohoo
Side note: if someone walked in with that mask on, you would laugh your ass off at them
because they're obviously a fucking tool who doesn't know how to scare people.
Anyway, unlike the Smosh movie,
critics actually did take a look at this
and they fucking hated it.
Meanwhile, only 3 out of 10 people who watched it liked it.
YouTubers be fucking up, man.
Then there's the movie "NOT COOL"
With a thumbnail of Shane Dawson apparently cumming.
This should be good.
[Girl screams]
Oh wow, Shane Dawson making out with another woman and getting his crotch grabbed
while in a relationship.
It's okay Shane, it's not cheating. You're an actor, right?
It's not like you had anything to do with the script
because no loyal boyfriend would intentionally write him getting his crotch groped
and making out with another woman in his own film, right?
oh, he didn't write it..
However, he did direct it, didn't he?
So how'd that go?
Hey blondie, uh,
you're gonna quite grope the head of my cock
efficiently in that last scene
so, could you do it again?
I really want you to get in there, ya know?
Oh, hey hunny! You probably shouldn't be around for this
'cause she's gonna grope my cock a lot..
If you're gonna be a good boyfriend Shane, you should only accept roles where you're at most cuddling
or giving someone a full body massage.
Oh hey! There's that ugly guy again.
Why the fuck?
Speaking of ugly, how's my hair today?
Very Three Stooges.
Girl: Joel I like you
as a friend!
Joel: Ooooh perfect!!
Well, he's unattractive and he has an unattractive personality?
[chuckles] That's a winner!
[elmo voice????] ooohh, perfect!!
Yo, learn how to take rejection, bro.
Sidenote: don't you love how Shane Dawson's girlfriend's in this movie?
but she's not the one making out with Shane Dawson throughout the film?
It's okay, obviously it didn't hurt the relationship.
Meanwhile, 6 out of 7 critics think the movie is a piece of shit.
but the audience rated a 3.9 out of 5.
So that's better, right?
I wonder what would happen if you subtracted all the opinions of people under fourteen..
hmm..
Anyway, Shane Dawson's new movie "Internet Famous"
is I guess funded by Maker.
You know, the company that royaly fucked over Ray William Johnson
who also allegedly text Ray William Johnson this shit:
Your lack of integrity and character are sad.
Fuck you. Prepare for war... bitch.
Apparently, he's the cofounder of Maker.
Prepare for war, bitch.
I mean one of the highest earners on our network
who we should actually treat very well 'cause we're just a shitty fucking network
that is absolutely nothing without content creators like Ray William Johnson but
prepare for war, bitch!
Get your fucking priorities straight.
Anyway, obviously Shane Dawson is sucking their cock now.
And instead of theaters this time, it's gonna be available on iTunes.
Moving up in the world, I see.
(wtf?)
Man: there is no god
RAAAHHHHH!!
[baby cries]
Oh wow, you guys took an actual baby and tried to terrify it for the sake of your movie..
That's totally worth it, right?
oh, wait.. no.
You don't torment children for the sake of profit.
Man: oh my god, is that baby driving???
You realize it's illegal to not have them in a carseat, right?
So you just filmed yourself committing a crime?
But who knows.. maybe that backdrop is fake.
Or maybe someone's in a lot of legal trouble right now.
Let's check out one more.
Please Subscribe
a documentary about YouTubers.
The movie got a 3.5 out of 5
Not a whole lot of people actually saw it..
Woman: people ask me like, "When did things begin to change?"
and it all happened at once.
Just like this giant boom.
Can we just say how cute she is?
She's just so fucking cute.
Likeable personality,
nothing really bad about her, right?
I mean other than the fact that she's probably a raging alcoholic
but [laughs]
Anyway, obviously that movie isn't for kids.
It's kinda boring
but also informative.
I myself have seen it,
and it wound up just kinda being a huge promotion for a t-shirt company
fucking awkward, right?
but that is the benefit of you guys buying overpriced shirts
mediocre documentaries
But no like many YouTubers, Mitchell Davis was in this film
so he no doubt is super famous now and doing very well online.
Ooh, shit..
..oh..
Actually, he's not doing so well online.
Guys, it seems like maybe instead of focusing on becoming Hollywood celebrities,
you should just focus on what you're good at.
Which is making the videos that your channel was originally successful for.
But so many of you think you're better than YouTube
like you're a special little fucking snowflake and you're gonna be a superstar.
Well, who am I to take a dump in your dreams?
You do you, boo.
[chuckles]
