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  **BloggyBook Spring Season 2013**

Marc Corn

Published by Marc Corn at Smashwords

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2013 Marc Corn

### Other Books By Marc Corn

Moral Rat

Habit, Kicks and Laughter

InstaScrapBook: 2012 Picks

BoggyBook Winter Season 2013 
_Thank you for being there when I needed you._

### About this book

This book series contains a blog post for each day of the season. I share many aspects of my life, and that includes struggles, funnies and family moments.

I wrote this book to keep track of my daily activities and to remember precious family moments that we never want to forget.

Life goes by really fast, it is like someone is turning the hands of time and not giving you a chance to treasure each moment we have in life.

### Table of Contents

- Ups, Downs, and Bullying

- Late Start

- Breaking Down Gallbladder

- Amber, and busy day

- Spring, and Vindaloo Curry

- No Justice for birth blunder

- Spasms, Pain, and Gastro

- Forgot Breakfast Food

- Faking it? Really?

- Mothers Day, Bye-Bye Flopsy

- First Snow of Spring

- So-called Snowstorm

- Inner Ear Sickness

- My Story Goals

- Bye-Bye 4S!

- Bad Noodles, and old blogs

- Sunday Walk, and Shops

- MilkyStones, and Overwhelmed

- Wisdom, and no SIM swap

- Bad Thigh, and SIM Saga

- Weekly Shop, and T-Lites

- Escaping Reality Rambling

- Snow, and Rude People!

- Birth Negligence, and Notes

- Some Progress, Sim Saga

- Relaxed, and Bad Tooth!

- Another day, and no service!

- Saga, Confusion, and Camera!

- Good Friday, and Camera Test

- Crazy Weather Moments!

- Easter Sunday, Melted Eggs!

- Restless Night, and Sunset

- Bad Sleep, and London Trip!

- Part Two London, and Meeting K!

- York Trip Part One

- York Trip Part Two

- York Trip Part Three, and Funnies!

- York Trip Part Four

- Ninja Wasps, and York Pictures

- Choking Cough, and McFlurries!

- No Service? You're Paying!

- You're a Nutter, Lovely Meal

- I tried, and choked!

- About Marc

### Ups, Downs, and Bullying - 1 March 2013

Well, March is here and it is back to blogging for me. If you have followed my blogs you will know that I took a few days off, this was to give myself a break from writing and to have a rest from the usual daily grind.

The rest did me the world of good, well, apart from my blood pressure dropping and getting myself depressed, other than that it went fine. I spent most of my days talking to K, I met her a few days ago and we just hit it off from there. I was surprised I met someone that was so caring, after all the years of rejection and hate, I had finally found someone who accepted me for who I am.

I always find it hard to meet new people, for some reason after I tell them about my disability they just change completely, not replying to messages and just stop talking to you. When it comes to my disability I have to be open about it, it is who I am and no amount of wishing will make that go away, even though at times, I wish it did. I always question whether it is my fault that people don't want know me, I shouldn't really think about it, after all, those who stick around are the true friends, and that is the main part.

Anyway, onwards and upwards as they say. I wanted to briefly discuss my depression, and how it can affect me physically & emotionally.

I have had depression since the age of thirteen, it has been several years of loneliness, heartbreak and sickness. To be brief, it sent me downhill very fast. When I was thirteen I was subjected to bullying because I was overweight, seventeen stone to be exact. As you can guess, at that weight I was a chubby boy. I loved food, no matter what it was I ate it, and in all honesty I don't know why I loved it so much.

When the bullying started, I just ignored it and let it continue, which was the worst thing I ever done. As this went on, it became harder to deal with, I was being called all sorts of names, and beaten up whenever they felt like getting a kick out of abusing someone.

They only picked on me because I was different and weighed a lot, they couldn't care what their actions did to me, it was all fun and games to them. I was always called a fat bastard by those who bullied me, and because of this it hit my confidence like a sack of potatoes. I felt completely lost inside, I just wanted the bullying to stop.

So, to be brief. I started to starve myself, eating less and less as time went on, and in the end I lost ten stone in weight over two months. I was really messed up at the time, being extremely thin had no advantages to me, all it done was make me really sick, and on two occasions it nearly killed me.

As the eating disorder progressed it gradually attacked my muscles, which meant it caused many problems for me. Over the years I have developed arthritis in many of my bones, which is really painful. I also suffer from weak swallowing control, this means I have to be careful what I eat because it could get stuck in my throat.

These problems are hard to deal with, I am in constant pain no matter what I do, the tablets I take just make me high, it is a never ending battle to keep it under control, and to make matters worse the tablets only suppress the pain for a very short time, which means I am left for four hours in pain until I can take more.

Anyway, getting to my point. All these problems have caused a domino effect in my life, and in terms of confidence, I lost that years ago because I was constantly judged over aspects of my condition.

As I mentioned before, I have weak swallowing, and because of that it causes me to dribble a lot. I go through massive amounts of kitchen roll a week and I can't go anywhere without any. I don't do this by choice, it isn't like I woke up one day and said hey, I am going to dribble every two minutes, it doesn't work like that. The weakness in my neck muscles happened over time, it was mainly caused by muscle wasting and cerebral palsy.

So, with all these problems in mind. I need you to imagine how hard it is for me to meet new people who will accept everything about me. Some of you will be reading this thinking it is easy, but honestly I have tried over the years and it the same thing each time, all I want is for people to accept me, but at times I just think that I put people off. What makes it even more hard is the depression that comes along with it, after all it takes someone who is very understanding to accept this and everything else.

I will continue to live in hope that things will change, who knows what is around the corner? Anyway, after typing all this, I feel like a doughnut (idiot), maybe I am over thinking again and rushing everything, these things take time, but I guess I am scared that I will live and die alone, and to never feel love from a partner.

If you have just read through all eight hundred words of that then it means you deserve a medal. I have sat here for the last five hours writing it, and considering the day hasn't even started yet I am doing really well.

After I finished writing, I tried going to sleep. I don't why I even bothered, it was like my brain was refusing to switch off. I wish I knew what was causing these sleep problems, it can't be pain because I have that all the time, I can only guess that I am getting worked up somehow, but with that in mind, I don't feel like I am worked up about anything. Life has been great to me recently, I have published my new book two days ago and I have met K, what more could ask for? Oh well I won't dwell on this lack of sleep because life is going great for me at the moment.

Today is going to be an easy day. The only thing I need to do is get some shopping from Tesco and publish today's blog post. What an easy day, but also lucky because the lack of sleep will drag me down later, well I hope it doesn't.

I started out my day with a big bowl of cornflakes and rice krispies mixed together, at this point I was in need of food because my blood sugars dropped and depression was starting to play havoc with my head. So, at 3am I was sitting at the table noshing on my breakfast, might I add it was covered in sugar.

After I had breakfast, I started to feel much better. The low feeling finally disappeared and I could finally think straight again. I had nothing to do at this late hour, well apart from watching television.

Skipping ahead a few hours. The morning was in full swing and it was time for me to venture out to get some shopping, just before I got ready my dad came in and said that they were doing the shopping, this was a strike of lucky because in all honesty I didn't feel well enough to do anything, and it was also lucky that only needed yogurts.

So, all the plans I had were now out of sight and I can just relax all day. Anyway, with this said, I think it is time for me to end the blog here, but before I do that, I leave you with some words of wisdom.

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

Credit: Ralph Waldo Emerson - brainyquote.com

###  Late Start - 2 March 2013

Today started out very late for me, I ended up sleeping in until 10am, this was really late for me, usually I am awake at 7am. I must have needed the lie in because I had no sleep the night before, I feel more refreshed and full of energy, which is fantastic for me.

The day started out very relaxed, I had a huge bowl of cornflakes and Cheerios for breakfast, this was something different for me because I hadn't had Cheerios for years, the last time I remember having them was when I was very young.

After I finished breakfast, I sat with mum and watched Saturday Kitchen. Mum loves this show, we always have a joke with her saying if she made food like that for us that we would wonder if she was okay. My mum and dad are very old school, they believe in homemade cooking and just slop it on the plate, we are eating food not looking at it as they say. While we were watching Saturday Kitchen I had to laugh, James Martin made a tiny mistake calling a knife a folk, mum has been disputing this all morning, she says that he was using folk and not a knife, I beg to differ. Anyway, it doesn't matter what I say because she fancies James Martin and that wins overall, I keep telling her to ring into the show for their question segment of the show, but she is too shy to ring in, knowing mum she will ring up and get star struck.

After an hour of being tortured with Saturday Kitchen, it was time to head out and get some shopping. I only wanted to get the essentials that I needed because I didn't want to overspend and buy things I didn't need.

As we were walking towards the shop, we spotted a tabby cat walking towards us. We stopped and waited for it to come closer, I put my hand down and gave it a stroke, it started purring and nuzzling against my hand for more strokes. This cat was lovely, it had zebra like stripes, but they were dark brown, really cute. I wish I could have a cat, but unfortunately due to living conditions and restrictions we are only allowed caged animals, e.g. Rabbits, birds and hamsters.

When we were walking away from the cat, it started following us which was funny. We were many steps ahead and the cat decided to trail along, s/he was being sneaky because every time we looked back it stopped, it was really funny.

When we got into the shop, Laura & David went off to the Post office because they needed to send a package. While they were doing that, I decided to entertain myself by looking at the kindles on display. As I was looking over all the kindles, I noticed that they were connected to the Internet. I thought this was a fantastic opportunity to get more people to look at my recent book publication (BloggyBook Winter Season 2013). So with that said, I loaded up my book on each kindle and just left them on display, you never know someone might see it and buy it, you don't know until you try as they say.

Once I had finished playing about, I went across to the post office to see what they were doing, turns out they were still waiting in the queue to be served. I couldn't believe how busy the post office was, the queue was coming out the door, I must have stood waiting for over thirty minutes just waiting for them.

While I was waiting I started to feel very low, it was like the energy had been sucked from my body. This has happened a lot recently, it has started to get concerning because it knocks me out and makes me seriously depressed. I have spoken to family members and my best friend Steve about the symptoms, they both have a feeling that I could be diabetic because I have many of the symptoms. I will have to get an appointment for the doctor on Monday just to be on the safe side, if it turns out I am, then it isn't anything major because I can reevaluate my diet and change what I eat. The only that concerns me is that my diet is already limited due to bad swallowing, and all the foods I have are soft enough to swallow correctly, so I really don't know how this will work out.

Anyway, to be brief, I got all the shopping I needed. We decided to be a taxi home because I couldn't walk much further, my knee was pulling and I was struggling to walk again.

After we got home, I had to have something to eat. I was certainly feeling the lack of energy. Once I made my cups of tea, I finally sat down to have something to eat, it wasn't anything special just a few yoghurt's.

Skipping ahead to the evening. I spent most of my time sitting around on the laptop, so as you can guess it was an easy evening for me. So on that note, it is time for me to sign off, but before I do, I will leave you with this quote.

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."

― Dr. Seuss

### Breaking Down Gallbladder - 3 March 2013

Sunday is meant to be a day of rest, but for some reason that isn't case today for me. Today has started as the previous day ended, and yes that does mean I am having sleeping problems again. Tonight's sleeping problems have been caused by pains through my gallbladder and right shoulder, these symptoms are both related to an ongoing medical problem, I won't bore you with all the details because it is too much information.

While I couldn't sleep I decided to have a chat with my best friend Steve because I hadn't spoken to him all day, we had to catch up, it wouldn't be the same without our daily chats. As always we had a barrel of laughs, but unfortunately my pains got in the way, so I had to say my goodbyes and catch up with Steve tomorrow. After I put the phone down, I went into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea and some spaghetti to eat. Anyway to be brief, I had my food and got the pain partly under control, I wasn't free from pain, but it was better than the pain I had.

I should try to get some sleep, well that's if my body will let me, I feel tired in myself so I have a fighting that I will get some sleep.

Well, after eight hours sleep, I emerged from under my duvet seven hours later. Even though I woke up full of energy, I still had pains in my legs, knees and gallbladder. The problem with my gallbladder has been with me for years, and if you have followed me for a while, then you will know that I have had a lot of problems with it, one of the major problems it causes is spasms through the right side of my abdomen and shoulder.

Anyway, enough about my breaking down gallbladder, maybe I should get roadside assistance of something, yes I know that was a failed joke. I couldn't let my gallbladder get in the way today because I was going around my sister's (Cassie) place for dinner, and she also needed my help to fix Karl's laptop.

I spent the rest of my morning helping Steve with a Mac OSX file sharing problem, you wouldn't believe this, but both of us were getting frustrated and ready to chuck expensive computers out of the window. I don't know why Apple say it is easy to share things between user accounts, it honestly isn't that easy, in the end we decided to do it a different way by using Dropbox, this problem has bugged us both for three days, but thank goodness we have semi sorted it for now.

Skipping ahead to my sister's house. I sat trying to fix Karl's laptop, and after thirty minutes, I determined that the issue was with a website they were using, so I had to send an email to them to have the problem fixed.

After I finished messing about with the laptop, I sat playing with baby Amber (niece). She was sticking her tongue out and giving me big smiles, and she was also making baby talk noise at me, it was really cute and funny. I can't believe she is ten weeks old already, she has grown up really fast, before I know it she will be Hannah's age.

So, to be brief, the evening was here and we were back home from my sister's house. I was really hungry, it felt like I hadn't eaten anything all day. I was in need of some food because I was starting to lose energy.

I ended up having noodles, spaghetti and curry sauce that was heaven on a plate. I was completely stuffed and I was also ready to go pop!

On that note, I think it is time for bed, but before I do, I will leave you with this joke.

Q: Why did the calf cross the road?

A: To get to the udder side.

### Amber, and busy day - 4 March 2013

Today has flown by, it was nonstop from the time I woke up. We had the delight of having Amber (niece) all day, she is growing up really fast, and she is also advanced for her age.

My day started out with big cuddles from Amber, I spent most of the morning making her giggle by asking her to stick out her tongue, it was really funny. She has such a beautiful, it makes you smile even more when you see her. As I have said recently, I love all my nieces and nephews, they make my world more fun, after all they do run me about, but you love them no matter what.

The afternoon was creeping in quick and I had so many things to do while we were out. I had to get some more shopping (again), from Tesco and Farm Foods, and we also needed to pick Hannah up from school.

So, to be brief, myself and Laura (sister) got into town around 1pm. As we got closer to Farm Foods, I had the urgent need to use the toilet, if I did I would have had a small swimming pool in my boxers. I quickly walked across to McDonalds because I knew they would have toilets I could use, while we were there I said to Laura that she could buy herself some lunch on my card, some people say this would be a dangerous mood, but she can be trusted at times not to go mad with money.

When I was using the urinal, I noticed a sign on the top saying that one hundred thousand liters are filtered and reused every year from using these urinals. I thought it was a fantastic thing to do, but one question springs to mind, where do they redistribute the filtered urine? I don't even dare ask, but you can see why they do it, it could bring costs down for water usage. Anyway, don't quote me on this because I am no expert, I am just taking an educated guess.

After I had finished using the toilet, we made our way to Farm Foods, it was only over the road, so we didn't have to walk very far. When we were in the shop, I wanted to find these curry sauces that my sister Cassie told me about because she said they are really nice and she said they had no bits in, if you have followed my blog recently you will understand why I avoid bits in my food. I walked around to the second isle and I found all the different flavors, there was chicken tikka, vindaloo and another one that I can't think of the name (thanks brain, you fail). I thought I would try something different because I can't live on yogurts all the time.

While we were waiting in the checkout queue, we spotted Kim (Amber's auntie), she was doing her shopping too.

Anyway, with over an hour spare we popped over to Tesco to get some shopping, and to grab a Costa Coffee afterwards.

Once we got the shopping from Tesco, we started to head towards Costa Coffee, but before we did that, I went towards the kindles again and loaded up my book on the kindle store, I thought why not, it might get someone taking an interest.

Anyway, to be brief, we had our drinks, collected Hannah and we were finally home. I was very hungry when we got home, it was like someone had starved me for days, my stomach must have thought my throat was cut, and yes I was that hungry.

After five minutes of cooking, I sat down to a massive bowl of chicken tikka curry, expect it didn't have any chicken, it was just the sauce, but it was fabulous, it didn't even touch the sides!

Skipping ahead to the evening. I was finally free to write my blog post and to have a well-deserved rest. So, with that said, it is time to sign off again, may you all have sweet dreams and come back tomorrow.

### Spring, and Vindaloo Curry - 5 March 2013

Spring has finally sprung, the weather is getting warmer, and the air feels much fresher.

The day started out with a light walk to Farm Foods, I wanted to get more curry sauces because the chicken tikka one I had yesterday was fabulous!  I wanted to try the vindaloo one, after all I hadn't had one for a few years and I thought why not, what is the worst that could happen? Kill me? Oh well I will die trying!

Anyway, to be brief, we got the shopping from Farm Foods and headed over to our usual stomping ground of Costa Coffee. I always love going there, it helps me relax and take my mind off of stuff that play on my mind, and I also get thirsty so I guess that is another reason.

When I was in the depths of my eating disorder years ago, I would refuse to drink outside my comfort zone because I feared people would look at me, and I also feared that I would choke. This has taken me over ten years to overcome, I honestly thought that I would be stuck like this for the rest of my life, but for some reason it just disappeared and I just done it, I didn't have a care in the world. I still of course have issues eating outside the house, but it is a start and you never know I might get back on track again and my life will have some normality, well whatever you can call normal these days.

Anyway, back to what I was talking about. We got to Costa Coffee and Laura (sister) went over to collect our drinks, this is what we normally do because I cannot carry anything in my hands without getting loads of pain across my arms and shoulders.

So, with that said we sat down with our drinks. I noticed Laura brought herself some chips, which was fine with me because I know she hadn't had anything to eat today, so I couldn't make her starve. As usual I had a hot chocolate and tea, but this time with sweetener because I want to keep my sugar intake low. This is simply to test whether I could be suffering from diabetes, I know I said a few days ago that I was going to see the doctor about being tested, which I will still go ahead with, but for now I want to try my own trial and error because it could be something simple that is causing this depressive moods swings, as they say to children if you have too much sugar you will crash and burn, well I think this could be the same as me. If I keep my sugar intake low, but also often, it seems to keep me at the right level. On they other hand, if I have too much sugar I seem to be fine for an hour and then my body starts to run out of energy very quickly, which means I get very depressed. While I have got myself into a stable situation (cough, cough, Tesco), I won't bother my doctor with minor tests, they chances are I probably am diabetic or if I'm not, then I will probably get it in later life because we have several family members who have it.

After we finished our drinks, it was time to head home again. While we were walking home, we started playing music on our mobiles to pass the time. Laura was listening to her usual no hope pop bands, while I was listening to huge classics like Elvis and The Beatles.

When we got home I decided to make myself a vindaloo curry, which I would later regret! I can't remember the last time I had a really hot curry, the only time I can recall was when I was away on holiday and my brother Jeff decided to make one of his master chilies, which consisted of all the normal things you would put in a chili, but with a massive heap of chili powder, well when I say I heap, I should have said half a pot. I remember that no one could eat it, apart from me and Cassie (sister), back then that kind of heat didn't bother us. The heat of chili didn't bother as I said before, but it definitely hurt my stomach for over a week, my gut went completely rotten, and no matter how much I tried to sooth it, the problem just stayed with me, I just had to ride the waves of my gut until it passes, and believe me I was glad when it did pass.

When I made the vindaloo curry, I thought I will be able to handle that no problem, and wasn't I completely wrong. As I sat down to start my meal, I picked up some of the curry on my spoon and put it into my mouth. The first spoonful wasn't very spicy, it tasted very mild, but it wasn't until the third mouthful that I started to feel my mouth slowly heat up. The heat became very intense, it was like someone had set my mouth on fire, my eyes were streaming with tears and throat was burning like mad! As the old saying goes, looks can be deceiving, and boy that was.

After I finished my meal, I drank a hot cup of tea to try to neutralize the heat from the spices, Laura tried to tell me that water will help cool it down, but I knew that was incorrect because it makes it get worse, and I think if I did do that, then I would end up breathing fire like a dragon. The heat took it out of me and certainly woke my stomach up that's for sure, I was walking around holding my stomach because I could feel the heat inside me, it wasn't a good feeling I must admit.

Anyway, enough of me moaning about my stomach. The evening was slowly creeping in and I needed to write the blog post for today, and I also needed to start piecing new book ideas together or else it wouldn't get done.

So, it is that time again to sign off, and I know it is early, but I have many things to do.

### No Justice for birth blunder - 6 March 2013

As my life carries on each day, I sit and think about past events surrounding my birth. Since learning the truth about my birth, it has become harder to live with as each day comes and goes.

I have written about this previously in my blogs, and no matter how much I try to put it behind me, there is always something that triggers the bad memories. The reason for writing this tonight is that I watched a medical program about hospitals abroad, and in one part it showed someone after an operation taking their first breath. After seeing his reaction, it just started all the bad thoughts, death, fear and depression, such a bad combination.

I know this doesn't have a direct relation to my birth, in reality the two things are unrelated, it is more to do with how I feel. When I get down it triggers many emotions and feelings, most of the time it has something to do with my past, and unfortunately the worst one is about my birth.

Skipping back to 1989. The date was 23rd January 1989, my mother was heading home from our local shop in vinery road. During the walk home, she felt her water's break, bare in mind I wasn't meant to be born for another ten weeks. So, with that said, she was taken to hospital. They kept mum in to do the routine tests, and that is where she stayed until I was born.

I can't to go into much detail surrounding some events during my birth because it is personal to my mother, and to also prevent myself from venting anger at the hospital for their own mistakes.

The night before I was born, mum was given some medication to help with her fever, if my memory serves right it was antibiotics that she was given. This was all well and good in theory, but what about me? I wasn't given anything to help develop my lungs, I was simply left there in danger to contract any number of infections.

Anyway, the next day came and mum was ready to give birth to me. According to my mum, the birth was very quick, it only lasted a few minutes before I entered into the world.

I am having to skip over many parts because I haven't got the paperwork in front of me that we had prepared by my solicitor at the time, but at a later date I will fill in the gaps that are missing.

The best thing I can do is summarize what parts I know briefly, instead of writing thousands and missing bits out. According to what I read in the paperwork years ago, at birth I had a lack of oxygen and then I was given too much oxygen, and from what I can gather this caused a brain injury that required me to have part of a tumor removed from my brain. As said these events are from what I can remember, and some parts could be missing vital information.

I understand that hospitals make mistakes, after all they are only human like the rest of us, but why did they not tell my parents until I was three years old? Were they trying to cover up the truth to prevent us from suing them? In all honesty, if it wasn't for my parents realizing how slow I was compared to my other sister, then this would have been left undiagnosed.

When the doctors finally admitted that I had cerebral palsy, they were told not to expect certain things as I grew up, for example not being able to play football or to do things like any normal child would.

I have overcome all their doubts. I have achieved everything they said I couldn't do, plus a lot more. I won't go into every little detail, but the one thing they were completely wrong about was how they said I wouldn't be able to learn hard things.

I don't know why people underestimate disabled people, they always think because we are slow or have an impairment that this somehow effects our brain power. These people who think like this, need to take a long hard look at the many disabled people who have made a big difference to this world because where we lack in physical abilities, we gain in mental abilities (knowledge).

Take me for example, my mobility is rubbish, but through my own focus I have learned more than you could imagine.

Anyway, getting back to what I was talking about. The main thing that deeply hurts me is that I can't get justice for their negligence, I have tried to seek justice, but after three years of hard work, the case was chucked out because we didn't have the majority in evidence to present my case. This wasn't surprising because I have several medical records that are incomplete, some records would start off at page one and then the next page would be page five. I have always tried to make my point over this because I believe that some of these records were lost on purpose to cover up the truth of what really happened.

So, like I said the case was chucked out and I was left with no support. I always remember the day my solicitor rung me with the news that they couldn't carry on the case, I tried thinking of everything I could, but that hit a dead end and it left me in pieces. After the phone call, I broke down into tears because I couldn't get the answers I deserved. As I always said from the start, I didn't do this for the money, it was for purely to get the answers surrounding my birth.

Even though I appreciate everything in my life, there will always be a part of me that will be hurting, and no matter what I do it will always be there. The worst part about all of this is that, I will have to take this injustice to my deathbed and my soul will be hurt for all eternity, and this could have been prevented, all they needed to say was I'm sorry, nothing more and nothing less, but I don't think I will ever get that, it is like getting blood from a stone, and as time has gone by I have been deeply hurt by this injustice.

Anyway, enough about this subject, it is time for me to get some rest. I have sat here for the past four hours pouring my heart out about my condition, and in reality it has got nowhere, apart from getting a few things off my chest for a while that will plague me again in a few weeks time.

Today has been one of those, not so good days, I have had pain all over my body and no matter how many pills I have taken, it still doesn't take any of the pain away.

The only other thing that has happened today is that my depression has been kicking my backside all day, I can't seem to shift the hurt I feel surrounding my birth. I have spoken to my close friend, K, again today. She has helped me a lot with how I was feeling, and I can certainly say I can rely on her in my hour of need.

On that depressive, but light ending, it is time for me to sign off, I hope that you all enjoy reading this blog because it was hard for me to put together.

### Spasms, Pain, and Gastro - 7 March 2013

Something tells me today is going to be a long day, can you sense the sarcasm coming on? Well, it's like this, I have been struggling with pains for a while and for some reason since yesterday the pain has got worse. I have been up since 2am, and to honest I am feeling the tiredness.

When I woke up the pain knocked me back completely, it was definitely something I hadn't experienced for a long time, it felt like someone was stabbing me from the inside and they were attempting to rip me a new asshole. Some people may see this as an overreaction, but believe me when you're having muscle spasms plus gastric flu, it certainly knocks you back and the pain leaves you utterly speechless.

I have been struggling with these pains for years, it all started when I got bad gallstones in 2011. I always remember when the gallstones struck because I was visiting my friend John in Kent and we were putting together a short film called Twist of Fate, this is also where I met another friend called Danielle, she was also helping with the short film.

When the pain struck, I was standing on a platform at Kent railway station, the pain took me by surprise, and at this point I didn't know what was causing the pain, for all I knew my body could have been shutting down on me, to be honest you never know. Anyway, to brief, the whole journey home was spent clutching my abdomen and trying to get myself into a comfortable position. As I got off the train at my local station, it was clear that I was struggling to walk because of the pain.

I walked over to a wall and leaned against it while I struggled to catch my breath, many people who were on the train knocked on the window to get my attention to make sure I was okay, they mouthed are you okay? I shock my head and said nothing back, it wasn't like they could do anything to help because their train was just about to depart, but I am grateful for those people who did take extra concern about my health.

The next day was the worst, I had loads of pain and no matter how many painkillers I took it still didn't cure the pain. As the day went on, it got progressively worse, it got to the point where the pain made me paralyzed from the waist down.

When I got paralyzed, we knew it was time to seek medical attention. So, with that said, mother dialed the emergency services to get an ambulance. The ambulance turned up in under five minutes, which was fantastic because the pain was getting unbearable. As the paramedic was doing the usual tests, they started giving me gas and air to help with the pain. The gas and air worked a treat, it only took the edge off the pain, but I didn't care because I was completely out of it, I don't even think I was on this planet at that point.

Anyway, in the end I was taken to hospital for further tests because they couldn't see why I was in so much pain. When I was first assed they said straight away that my appendix needed removing, and I instantly said no way it can't be. So, after a few moments of tears, they quickly started doing tests. I had to give both urine and blood, it was manic because for starters I hadn't had a drink for hours and they needed me to supply a sample, they must have thought I had a fountain up my backside or something. I ended up surprising myself because I filled this large pot they gave me to the top, and the funny part was they only needed a little sample, but as they saying goes if you got to go, you got to go.  After hours of tests, they concluded that I was suffering from gallstones, and that I also had a minor infection that required me to stay in hospital for the night, which I was so thrilled about, sarcasm! I always hate hospitals, they always remind me of death and just past events that I have discussed previously.

So, to be brief, the stay in hospital went fine, well I say fine, apart from mother telling the hospital the wrong dosage amount of one of my medications and I ended up high as a kite for the day because it was ten times stronger.

Anyway, let's skip onto today. The day has been very relaxed, but also very tiring. I have done nothing all day, well, apart from take pills and rest, what else could I do? The pain is staying under control currently, but knowing my luck it will flare up in the evening.

So, on that note, I am going to rest, after all I think I deserve it.

### Forgot Breakfast Food - 8 March 2013

Today started out very oddly, breakfast was out of the window until I got food from Tesco because I stupidly ate all my yogurts last night. The only thing I could have this morning was a cup off tea with plenty of sugar, how exciting is that?

Most of my morning was spent talking with K having a laugh, I tried pulling a joke about having grey hair and because she said I couldn't see any, I put my grey beanie hat on and sent her a picture, it went a bit like this.

So, with stomach empty and only sugar to keep me running, it was time to go shopping. I was very lucky this morning because dad decided to drop us off, he was heading that way anyway, so, me and Laura (sister) just tagged along, also known as dads taxi, but we get the free rides.

Anyway, after a ten minute car journey, we arrived into town. The walk from the car park to the shop wasn't far, but it definitely took it out on me, we had to walk in the pouring rain, this rain is meant to be for April, you know April showers and all that rubbish! I don't mind the rain really, but when it soaks all your clothes that is where I draw the line because you feel like a drowned rat.

So, anyway, enough of my moaning, we walked up to the cafe to have a drink because I needed to keep my sugar levels regulated until I got home or else I would be getting myself all depressed again. I had my usual order, coffee and tea.

Skipping ahead a few hours, reason for doing this is to prevent me boring you! Anyway, I was home and it was time to eat, believe me I was starving, I could have eaten a horse, knowing my luck I probably have if it's Tesco value food.

I was so glad when I ate something because I was starting to get empty stomach burps and if you have had any experience with it then you will know that it is horrible because it can give you bad acid problems, well it does to me anyway, I must be one of the unlucky ones.

So, with food in my belly, it was time to relax for the rest of the day, well I can relax until 5pm because my nieces won't be here until then. They are staying over for the night, can you sense my joyfulness? They're not that bad really, I will only hear them making noise from bedroom while they play the Playstation or roll around on my sofas.

On that note, I must leave you with this short blog because the gang are here. I best be the good uncle and help Laura before they tie her up.

### Faking it? Really? - 9 March 2013

The weekend has started and I am on a high, not a medicated high, but a good high. I have been in a humorous mood all evening, cracking jokes and just having a great time, it is better than feeling sorry for myself I guess.

I found my evening hilarious, I ended up playing with Emoji icons, it was hilarious, it was surprising how I came up with an icon expression for every conversation I had, lucky for me it was only a couple because if I would have sent weird icons to everyone just for a laugh.

My day started out with dinner, I know it is late, but you know I can't starve, so I will eat when I want. I had noodles and curry sauce, it was lovely, chip shop curry sauce and plain noodles, how lush is that? I don't know why that just made me laugh, I nearly used the term LOL (laugh out loud), old habits diehard as they say, but anyway that combination is really nice, it hits the spot nicely!

Anyway, I forgot to mention in yesterday's blog that I received threatening messages from an old acquaintance, to be honest I don't why they bothered because it was just a waste of their time. The one concerning thing about the threatening messages was that they constantly went on about how fake I am and how my disability is a load of rubbish. This person must be confused or something because I was born with this disability and it isn't like I could just turn it off, oh wait a minute, where's that off switch, it was around here somewhere, oh damn looks like I can't find that, can't turn it off, oh well, can you sense my sarcasm?

I honestly don't know where people get off making judgments about me, after all they don't know me and they seem to be all tough behind a keyboard, let's take it away and see how tough they are. I often find that those who talk touch over texts or emails tend to back down if you confront them in real life, they are like little mice on the run from the meal cleaver.

There is one thing these people leave out and that is facts, it very silly that people want to go around shouting the odds, but all they're doing is making themselves look a complete fool, come on, if you're going to run your mouth then know the facts before you smash your keyboard, after all that is the only thing you can use to talk, not very adult really is it?

Anyway, I degrees. The time is currently 1:15am and I have got nothing else better to do. I am sitting here watching American Dad, I did watch Family Guy earlier which was hilarious. To be honest most of my nights are like this, but in a way it isn't a waste of time because it gives me a chance to catch up with writing. I am way behind on writing my new stories, and when I think about it I don't know why I have let myself get behind, I think my blog book has taken over most of my writing activity for now, but I will find the odd time where I will write parts of the new books.

I better think about going to bed soon, but before I do I must tidy up my plates from earlier, after all I haven't got a cleaning fairy, well I have, but mums in bed and I don't think she will appreciate being woke up at this time. I could think of many responses I would get if I did wake her, but it would be hilarious just to give it ago, where is the video camera? Even though this would be hilarious to me, it wouldn't be to my mother, I would have a death wish if I did do it to her. Right, I will shut up now and go to sleep.

The morning started out fantastically well, I kicked the day off with a bowl of cornflakes, fancy that I am eating myself, it has corn in it. Okay, I won't pull anymore jokes, after all people might get this idea that I am fake and making it all up, haha, I laugh in your face!

Anyway, the rest of the day was spent playing the guitar, I ended up doing a melody of three songs and mashed them up together, it is surprising how you can mix one direction, Mcfly and Breakfast at Tiffany's, very creative!

Skipping ahead to the afternoon. We had to get some more shopping again because I had nothing left again, and yes I don't know how this keeps happening, but oh well I have to eat!

While we were walking to the shops, Hannah suddenly shouted oh, no my tooth, that's right she lost her first baby tooth. I wish they didn't grow up so fast, it makes me miss the younger times, and it also makes me feel old, haha!

Anyway, to be brief, after a few hours of walking around Tesco, we finally got into a taxi and went home. I was so glad to be home because I was getting hungry, yet again might I add. I don't know why I am so hungry, it feels like I am going to eat everything in this house.

One thing I forgot to mention, when we were at Tesco, myself and Hannah sat outside while they paid for the shopping. We sat on a bench listening to music and sang our hearts out, we didn't care what people thought, it was surprising to see that most of the people who noticed just smiled which was delightful.

So, I was home now and I could finally have something to eat. I ended up making myself noodles, spaghetti and curry sauce, it was really lush, I loved it!

After I had food, I felt really stuffed, but I also felt hungry too, I know that is weird combination, but I am a growing boy after all! The funniest thing is that, I felt starving again after only an hour, what is wrong with me? Do I have worms? Do I have hollow legs? Oh well, it doesn't matter, whatever keeps me going.

Anyway, it is time to sign off again, may you all have peaceful night, and remember don't do anything I wouldn't do, and yes that means no playing hide the purple parsnip!

### Mothers Day, Bye-Bye Flopsy - 10 March 2013

Well, today is mothers day, the one time of the year that each mother has an excuse to put their feet up. I think my mother on the other hand is taking this putting her feet up lark too far, it is 9:30am and she is still in bed, taking liberties if you ask me. I mean it isn't my fault she didn't get in until 3am, she was the one getting drunk, if you ask me it is all self inflicted. Okay enough messing around, Happy mothers day to each mother out there, and to my mother, get your backside out of bed, it's only a headache not flu!

So, back to my day. I started off the day at 8am, I couldn't believe it was that early, normally I don't even rise from my bed until 9am, and even at that I can't be bothered to move because I am warm. Anyhow, I was overwhelmed with the feeling of energy flooding through my body, and my pain seemed to be under control for a change. I don't know if you have noticed, but this good mood has lasted for a few days and I am honestly loving it.

Anyway, mum was enjoying her mother's day, well I think she is. We have been tormenting her all morning because she had a hangover, are we mean for tormenting her?

The funniest part was when I turned my guitar amp on full blast and started playing a few songs, it was really funny because mum was shouting shut up. Anyway, after a couple hours of tormenting, it was time to stop because it was starting to get boring and it also wasn't fair on mother.

Skipping ahead to the afternoon. I have some unfortunate news, my old friend Flopsy bunny has passed away, she had suffered from many medical problems over the last few years, and back in November 2012 she chewed through my MacBook charger by accident, but even at that we thought nothing of it because she just kicked the ground and walked over to me for a fuss.

I was always the closest person to Flopsy, she always cuddled up to me and she always wanted to lick my fingers. The funniest thing was when we use to play chase around the floor, I used to tease her a lot and she would try to grab my hand. I always remember the first time I made her giggle, and yes you read that correctly, I successfully made a rabbit giggle. When we were playing, I noticed that she had her eyes fixated on my hand, suddenly she pounced and went for my hand, I suddenly moved my hand back, then from nowhere I heard this little chuckle, and no it was a chuckle, it wasn't like she was growling because that would be a different tone completely and her ears were up which meant she was really happy.

So, what do I feel now? I do feel hurt, but because she wasn't well, I knew in my heart that she didn't have long left in her, it may seem weird, but after what she has gone through it isn't surprising she has passed away, and only last week we were saying that she would be around for years, which I feel really guilty about, but I wasn't to know that she was Going to pass away a week later.

I will always remember the good times that I had with Flopsy and treasure them, but I know she is out of pain now, which is the most important and I know her soul will live on in each of us that looked after her.

Stepping over this unfortunate news. The rest of the day has been perfectly fine, well it has attempted to snow, and apparently we are due to get some more by tomorrow more, it might not happen, we know what that weather man is like, he makes it up as he goes along. I bet he sits in his office and chucks darts at a board to choose what he thinks the weather is going to do, he only gets it spot on when he invites Phil Taylor over to do the picking. If you don't know of Phil Taylor, he is a professional dart player and he has won countless world championships, and he is also a very caring person, despite the haters who run their mouths, he does a lot for special needs children.

Anyway, I am going to sign off for now. So, stay safe and be well.

### First Snow of Spring - 11 March 2013

Okay, what is the weather playing at, it is spring and it's snowing! I cannot believe it is snowing again, even though this isn't uncommon with British weather over the years, last year was the same, but that was heavier.

Anyway, apart from the snow clouding the day, it started out blissfully well. I didn't really wake up in pain, but that soon changed once I started to walk about. I had to get up no matter what happened because Cassie, Karl and Amber were coming round for breakfast, and I already had a call from Cassie while I was in bed just to warm me that they would be here soon, plus she wanted to put her breakfast order in and to get mum out of bed.

So, with everyone here and breakfast cooking in the kitchen, it was time for me to tease mother while she was cooking, well, I was in there too making food and teasing mum just passed the time perfectly. I ended up making myself some noodles and spaghetti, it was yummy, and even after I finished it, I was still hungry, it was like I had worms or something.

After I had finished my second breakfast, I started to watch Amber suck her way through a piece of chocolate, she certainly enjoyed it, as you will see by the picture below.

Skipping ahead to the afternoon. Myself and Laura battled the blizzard to walk to the shop, it didn't seem heavy, it was more the wind that caught you out because it was strong enough to blow you over, and knowing my luck it probably would if it had half a chance, after all I am only a stick insect.

When we got to the shop, we decided to have a drink at Costa Coffee, I don't know about you, but have you guessed that we spend a lot of time at Costa Coffee? I am sure they won't mind, after all they're getting money.

Anyhow, to be brief, we had our drinks and got the little bit of shopping, all we had left to do was to walk home in the snowy blizzard again, thanks very much weatherman, for once you were right!

Walking home seemed like a nightmare, we had the wind blowing at us and the snow was blowing around everywhere. I had to get Laura to carry the shopping because my arms were giving me grief, and I didn't even attempt to take my hands out of my pockets because they would feel the cold straightaway.

Anyway, after a twenty minute walk, we finally arrived home. The first thing I did when I walked through the door was to make a cup of tea. I think this is like any normal person really, you need to refuel yourself no matter what the weather is like, but when the weather is cold then it is better to top up the tank with a hot drink.

So, with my tank topped up, all I had left to do for the day was to carry on writing, which has been completely hopeless today because my depression has been kicking my backside all day, and yes you would think my tablets would help, but no they haven't.

Anyway, to stop myself from making this seem boring, it is time for me to sign off.

### So-called Snowstorm - 12 March 2013

So, they say we are in a snowstorm. I think they're making it up, we have blissful sunshine, all the snow that fell during the night has melted. As you will see by the image below, the sun is shining and the snow is slowly melting.

Anyway, enough complaining about the weather, as I said before blame the weatherman, he is the one making it all up again.

My day started out slowly, I just relaxed on the sofa with a cup of tea clutched in my hands with the duvet wrapped around my legs. I couldn't be bothered to do much today, the weather is still cold, and after last nights depression I wasn't going to push myself.

I don't know if it's me, but each day seems to be the same, nothing ever changes, it is like a constant routine that won't change itself, the weather changes more than my routine and that's saying something. I think this is why my depression is kicking me a lot recently, it is the same each day, well on the odd occasion it does change, but in my opinion this is getting boring. Most of my days are spent taking tablets to keep my pains under control, every four hours I am popping some kind of tablet. I know I shouldn't complain, but sometimes it gets to me, and yes I know there are people worse off than me, but I have every right to complain like everyone else.

Anyway, skipping ahead to lunchtime. After a small lunch, I noticed that there were icicles hanging from the shed roof. This was a great opportunity for an interesting photograph, as you will see by the picture below it came out very well.

I have spent most of the afternoon sitting on the sofa, which is fine, but I am feeling really exhausted, it feels like boredom has started to get the better of me, hopefully tomorrow will be more exciting. I will have to go for a walk tomorrow to keep myself active, it isn't good sitting around all day because it will make my joints feel worse.

Anyhow, let us go on to a more uplifting subject. As I was doing a book search last night, I noticed that my current books are starting to be put into all different online stores. When I looked through each retailer, I noticed that Waterstones was selling my book, for me this is an amazing achievement because they're a big retailer in the UK and I wouldn't believe my books were good enough to be on their store.

I underestimate myself at times, many people have said that my books are really good and they love them, but every time I hear positive news I just think everyone is having a joke with me, maybe I am wrong because a lot of people religiously download each book I publish, and don't get me wrong I do appreciate it, I never think I am good enough with whatever I Do, if you know me personally then you will understand what I am going on about.

While I am on the subject of Waterstones, when I looked on their site it said the dispatch time was 2-3 weeks, this seemed a bit weird to me because I didn't think they did on demand printing, unless they order it in as other people order the books, oh well, who knows?

So, today has been a bit boring, but I think we all have days like this, we are only human and it is only natural to follow the usual routine.

Anyway, before I moan on even more, it is time for me to sign off, hopefully tomorrow will be a more a get up and go day, and hopefully I will have a lovely walk.

### Inner Ear Sickness - 13 March 2013

So, this feeling better stuff, how is it working out for you? I can be sure it isn't working out for me. The time is currently 1:17am and my stomach has decided to play up. I don't know how I put up with this, it always makes me feel rough and normally my energy levels drop through the floor. I think the best thing I should do is go to bed, hopefully I will sleep it off and wake up refreshed, I must admit that I am extremely exhausted and this won't help in the slightest with my pains.

Well, I finally got to sleep at 2am, and I can certainly say that was a task. Once I put my head on the pillow, I started to feel stuffed up and I felt like I was having a panic attack. These sleeping problems have been with me for years, it all started back when I was twenty. When it first happened I didn't know what to do. I jumped off the sofa and ran room in a massive panic attack gasping for air, it felt like I was going to collapse, my heart was going ten to the dozen and I could feel it beat through my chest. After this happened, I tried to ignore it, but over the years I still have the problem. When I questioned my doctor about this a year ago, he said that I had a form of sleep apnea, obviously this is concerning, but he reassured me that it was only mild and it should get easier over time.

Anyway, let's skip ahead to my day. The morning started out very slow, I wasn't feeling well after last night and from what I could see, the energy was certainly drained from my body.

After I got out of bed, I decided to make myself a cup of tea, I couldn't be bothered to have breakfast straight away because I didn't have the strength to make food. I would later regret this because I ended up taking my tablets on an empty stomach, it certainly wasn't a wise move, it ended up making me feel very sluggish. I will remember next time not to do that, it honestly took it's toll on me.

So, it turns out I fell asleep all afternoon, but in all honesty I have been struggling with my inner ear problem all day. Before I fell asleep earlier, I felt really poorly, every time I walked about or laid down the room started spinning. When people say they can feel the earth move, it isn't made up because I certainly felt it move all right, it was more like you spin me right round, baby right round, like record baby, right round right round.

Anyway, skipping ahead to the evening. I have spent most of the time resting and feeling really poorly, it still feels like I am going to throw up, but despite all the sickness I was able to upload a cover video to Facebook, it was only a guitar of one direction's song One Thing. I learned this song in under five minutes, it was really easy, and the good thing is people liked it, which is a plus.

Anyhow, time to sign off before I throw up all over this MacBook, and believe me this wouldn't be a smart move.

### My Story Goals - 14 March 2013

Today has certainly been a mixed bag of tricks, energy has started to creep back up and I have finally put more thought into doing an updated story about my eating disorder.

If you didn't know, I had my eating disorder story published last year, it had some success, and it certainly helped me slowly recover. I will be the first to admit that I haven't fully recovered from my eating disorder, but I have to look at the positives, during this year I have published four books and gained much respect from people that were inspired by my courage to carry on and to fight.

The reason for publishing my story was to highlight my struggles and to help other people see that an eating disorder isn't isolated to females.

When it comes to doing an updated story, I want to highlight that I still struggle, but I have also progressed in my life. As I said before, I have published four books, it has given me a new focus in my life. My weight has gone up by two stone, I am now four pounds away from nine stone, which is a huge achievement for me.

The response to my story was outstanding, so many people were leaving me good luck messages and positive words to inspire me through my struggles, of course there were a few negative comments, but that didn't phase me because I know that you will get bad comments no matter what it is.

I was surprised by some of the positive comments because many people said they wanted to give me a hug, which was really nice to see that there are nice people out there.

Anyhow, I hope that an updated story will come to light soon, but I will have to wait and see what happens, I can't expect miracles over night.

So, moving on to the rest of my day. As I said at the start it has been a mixed bag of tricks, the reason for using this term is simply because it has been a mix of emotions. Some of the things that happened I won't mention because the stuff that has happened isn't worth mentioning, after all I won't be giving people the satisfaction of being named when they are complete idiots, and yes I don't care if I called that person an idiot because that what he is!  I am fed up of a certain person causing trouble for my family, when it comes to my mother & father I will defend them to the hill because I have utter respect for them, and I don't care if they are right or wrong, they are my parents, so tough poo-poo!

Anyway, enough of the rant, it isn't worth my valuable time, we all need to focus on here and now, rather than the past and people who bring you down.

Skipping ahead to the evening. Mum & Dad went out this evening to darts, which meant we have the house to ourselves and we could throw a wild party, scratch that idea, if we did I think mum would kill us, or hang us from the nearest lamp post, and no, I am not kidding!

So, with the house free and parents out the way, it was time to jam on the guitar and relax. I made Laura laugh tonight, she has been nagging me for a while to play twinkle, twinkle little star on the guitar, every time I refused to play it she would claim I couldn't play it, so I thought screw it, I played it without looking at the chord sheet to refresh my mind. I said to her are you happy now? She replied well you didn't have to play it. I thought, what? You have been nagging me for months and that's all I get? Damn, she is hard to please sometimes. I must teach her how to play the guitar sometime because she has always wanted to learn and I have loads of time to give her to help.

The rest of the evening was spent singing along to music on my iPad, and don't deny it Laura, you was singing!

So, on that music note, it is time for me to sign off, but before I do, I will leave you with this joke, and this time round it was a joke I made up.

Tesco buys restaurant chain Giraffe, they're really sticking their neck out now!

### Bye-Bye 4S! - 15 March 2013

Well, would you Adam and Eve it? I forgot to write parts of the blog today. Oh well, it doesn't matter because I kept handwritten notes about my day.

The day started out like any other day, breakfast was the same as any other day too, in all honesty the day didn't really kick off until 12:30pm.

Myself & Laura decided to go for drink at Costa Coffee before we had to pick Hannah up from school. I also needed to get some yogurts because I ran out again, yea I can't believe it either, I get through loads of them.

Skipping ahead to Costa Coffee. As I was drinking my hot chocolate, I noticed that my iPhone 4S switched itself off again. I couldn't believe it, even though it wasn't a surprise because over the last few months it has been messing up and in all honesty it was starting to annoy me. The phone itself was certainly getting on a bit, it was over a year old or more, and the warranty had expired many months ago.

So, anyway, with that said I had no choice, but to buy a new mobile phone. We didn't have long, but we drank our drinks and headed towards the mobile phone shop in Tesco, I only needed something basic because I only needed it to text or make calls, I have the iPhone 5 for things like making videos or taking pictures.

So, to be brief, I found a new phone, it was the HTC Desire C. The phone was £95, which was a fantastic price because it left me £105 left over from selling the iPhone4S.

Anyway, we collected Hannah from school and started to head back towards the shop, we had to go back to collect the shopping. I would have picked up the shopping before we collected Hannah, but because I had to get a new phone it left us no time to go around the shop.

While we were in the shop, I asked Hannah to help me pick my euro millions numbers for tonight's lottery draw, she picked some weird numbers, but you never know, the numbers could win something. I wanted to play it safe though, so I brought a lucky dip at the same time.

So, to be brief. We got all the shopping, and we were finally home. I had to get something to eat quickly because I was starting to have dizzy spells and I could feel myself getting very faint.

Skipping ahead a couple of hours. I had to go over to Cassie's house to help fix her sky box problem, she ran a cable from her sky box to a TV in the bedroom and for some reason it wasn't working with the TV link eye. I knew what the problem was straight away, it was because the magic eye wasn't getting enough power, which meant it would refuse to work correctly. The problem was easy to fix, all Cassie had to do was cut the ends again to make a better connection to allow the power to come through. After we did this, it started working perfectly and the signal came through much clearer.

So, with this done, it was time for me and Laura to go home. I had to get back because I needed food again, and I needed to write the blog for today.

Anyway, I am going to skip ahead to the evening time because I don't want to bore you with the usual routine.

The evening time was relaxing, we all sat in the living room watching Comic Relief on the television. So, all-in-all it has been a fantastic day and a fantastic evening.

I must sign off now, but I will be back tomorrow, hopefully I don't get behind again like I did today. 

### Bad Noodles, and old Blogs - 16 March 2013

After a late night, I woke up feeling rough and extremely tired. I was helping Steve install Windows XP on his iMac via Bootcamp, I have done this previously on my own machine. Anyhow, after a long couple of hours, I had to give up and go to bed.

So, the morning was finally here and I needed to get my backside moving because I needed to ring a mobile network to do a SIM swap from an iPhone micro SIM to Standard SIM, this isn't a hard job, but it needs to be done because the iPhone 4S was being sold on Monday and I have to start using the new HTC phone I brought yesterday.

Before I had to ring the mobile network, I needed to have some food because I was starving. So, with that said, I made myself some noodles, I will admit that I annoyed myself during the process because I normally have to use the microwave, but I couldn't use it this time because mum was cleaning it. This was okay, I had some noodles that only required boiling water, but it was the only choice I had, and after all it was the only choice I had.

After I had my noodles, I was very unimpressed by these other noodles because they tasted rubbish, I won't be buying them again from Farm Foods, I will stick to Tesco value or Super noodles because they taste better.

Anyway, I want to briefly talk about some old blog posts I found last night while I was sorting through my files. I am going to attach them below, as you will see most of them were about robotics. The posts have been corrected because they contained many errors, well saying that I could have made them sound worse, oh well, what does it matter?

#### Blog Post: How can Robotics aid the future?

Let's take both aspects stated, on one hand robots have aided us for centuries and never caused anyone cause for concern, but on the other hand are becoming more intelligent and having the ability to learn tasks very easily. With this said is there a happy medium for robotics in the future? I believe there is! My theory is simple, if the software is written correctly with no hidden Easter eggs (surprises) then I don't why robots could not be used for every day tasks.

Many prototype robots have proven they have the possibilities to aid humans and make their lives easier.

In conclusion robots do show future potential, but I can't stress enough the dangers if the platform is not watertight then it could pose risks to the public and be a breeding ground for hackers especially if the robot is equipped with a direct up-link.

#### Blog Post: Robotics in the future

For many years we have used robots to aid us with multiple tasks, but what can robots bring us in the future to aid us further?

Previously I blogged about the dangers of robotics and I stated if robots were not under control by a strict platform it could pose a danger to humanity and cause irrational panic.

As artificial life gets better over the years so does the urge to use this as an advantage for all human beings. For many years we have used robots to do many tasks from factory work to health care operations, but could a robot do a lot more?

Scientists predict between 2030 to 2034 robots will be able to perform human level tasks, this will also include home automation systems that will allow a home to be completely automated of its daily tasks.

One of most advanced robots to date is ASIMO which, is ran and made by Honda. ASIMO's current build stands at 4ft 3inches tall, 114 pounds and can go up to speeds of 4.3MPH.

ASIMO has several features they include:

Moving objects using visually captured images from a camera mounted in his head

Postures and gestures ASIMO is able to interpret positioning and movements of a hand, recognizing postures and gestures.

Environment ASIMO recognizes the objects and terrain of its environment and act in a way that is safe for both itself and nearby humans.

Sound ASIMO's ability to identify the source of sounds has been improved, and it can distinguish between voices and other sounds. It responds to its name, faces people when spoken to, and recognizes sudden, unusual sounds such as that of a falling object or a collision, and faces in that direction. It can respond to questions, either by a brief nod, a shake of the head or a verbal answer.

Facial recognition ASIMO can recognize faces, even when ASIMO or the human being is moving. It can individually recognize approximately 10 different faces. Once they are registered it can address them by name.

Internet connectivity by accessing information via the Internet, ASIMO can, for example, become a provider of news and weather updates.

There are a few good points of introducing robots into the public domain, the good points include: assisting around the household, doing manual lifting and other normal assistance work.

Unfortunately as this type of technology evolves, so does the risk of a new evolution become more apparent. Without proper use of "Robot Laws" or "The Three Laws" it could become more of a danger to the public.

With this in mind will Robots bring unfounded paradoxes that will change our entire existence or will they become the great tooling of the future that will make our lives easier?

#### Blog Post: The Three Laws of Robotics

The Three Laws of Robotics or, "The Three Laws" were written by a science fiction author called Isaac Asimov. The laws were first introduced in his short story Runaround in 1942.

The Three Laws of Robotics are as follows:

1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being come to harm.

2. A robot must obey any orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders conflict with the first law.

A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the first or second law.

The Three Laws are a set of principles found in Asimov's Fiction, appearing in his Robot series, the other stories linked to it and his Lucky Star series of young-adult fiction. Other authors working in Asimov's fictional universe have adopted them and references, they appear throughout science fiction as well as in other genres.

Applying Asimov's Three Laws to Future Technology

Those working in artificial intelligence debate the Three Laws as future advances in artificial intelligence would be needed for robots to understand the Three Laws however, as the complexity of robots has increased, so has the interest in developing guidelines and safeguard for their operation.

The first law is fundamentally flawed in that it states that a robot cannot 'through inaction', allow a human to come to harm which could lead robots attempting to control humanity to prevent human beings harming themselves.

The Second law could not prevent this from happening as, if humans were to order the robots to stop, it would be deemed as an order therefore conflicting with the first law, so robots will not carry out the order.

#### Blog Post: UFOs, Fact or Fiction?

UFO's or Unidentified flying objects are they real or a load nonsense?

There have been many sightings of UFO's over the years, it has been said that the earliest ever sighting UFOs could have been around 240 BC by Chinese astronomers, but there was no conclusive evidence and could have been mistaken for comet.

From personal experience I have seen things in the sky that could not be explained at all. I once stayed at a holiday camp in Wales where I spotted at least 10 objects flying around in the sky some distance away from me. The objects were flying round in a sequence and flashing all different colours.

To this day I believe what I saw was out of this world.

My own belief is that UFO's do exist and that with the technology they have could cause dyer consequences in the near future.

Are you a believer?

#### Blog Post: Walk-ins, Real or Fake?

Walk-ins is a concept of a person whose original soul leaves their body and has been replaced by a new soul either temporally or permanently.

This concept was first found in a series of books called "Seath Speaks" written by Channel Jane Roberts in 1979.

The criticism around walk-ins from many groups and especially religious deems walk-ins as ridicules and untrue.

This has also been said by health professionals and they have also stated it is a mental disorder.

What do you all think, can this happen or is this just complete rubbish?

#### Blog Post: Teleportation

Teleportation is the transfer of matter from one position to another, more or less instantly. Teleportation is widely known in science fiction.

The word "teleportation" was founded by American writer Charles Fort in 1931 to describe strange disappearances and appearances of anomalies. Fort first used the term in the second chapter of his 1931 book, "Mostly in this book I shall specialize upon indications that there exists a transportory force that I shall call Teleportation." Though Fort added, "I shall be accused of having assembled lies, yarns, hoaxes, and superstitions. To some degree I think so myself. To some degree, I do not. I offer the data."[3] Fort suggested that teleportation might explain various allegedly paranormal phenomena, although it is difficult to say if Fort took his own "theory" seriously, or instead used it to point out what he saw as the inadequacy of mainstream science to account for strange phenomena.

Dematerializing

One means of teleportation proposed in fiction is the transmission of data which is used to precisely reconstruct an object or organism at its destination. However, to travel from one point to another instantaneously is, as of today, believed to be impossible.

Dimensional teleportation

Dimensional teleportation involves the subject exiting one physical universe or plane of existence, then re-entering it at a different location. This method is rarely seriously considered by the scientific community, as the currently predominant theories about parallel universes assume that physical travel is not possible between them.

#### Blog Post: Social Network Reform

This year social networking sites have rapidly grown, but with growth comes more security issues. As concerned citizens we would like to believe that using these sites are secure and safe to use, but unfortunately these web sites have become a breeding ground for hackers and pedophiles.

I believe to many parents are allowing their children who are under the age of 16 to use these web sites. A recent survey shown that 1-in-10 two year old children have an online presence with social networking. I now think to myself, who is to blame for this? The simple answer is "the parents," at that age they would hardly know what a social networking site is, let alone being able to sign themselves up to the service and knowing how to use it.

With this said, are parents putting their children at risk putting them on these social networking sites? Over the years we have all been taught the dangers of the internet and how unsafe it is. Does anyone learn from what they have been taught? I am guessing a big fat no!

How can we curb underage children and pedophiles using these social networks to protect everyone's safety? Simple Card Validation!

This would work by making the user verify who they are by using a credit or debit card, but here is the catch all information must match both with the social network and the bank.

The Process explain below:

1. The user pre signs up to a social network, giving all details required

2. The user is then asked to verify with a valid credit or debit card

If information provided matches both the bank and the social network access will be granted, otherwise if verification fails you will be denied access until verification is complete.

All information that should be provided by the user are Name, Address and Date of Birth. Any amendments made to either the name or address will be subjected to verification and until the user has verified the new information all access will be denied.

With this in place it could totally reform social networking sites. All social networks need to reevaluate their user base and push card verification.

Reform of social networks is mandatory to secure a safer future for all and the only way to do this to work with card verification.

END OF BLOGS

So, I hope you enjoyed those posts, I couldn't remember writing some of them because it was so long ago, but I can assure you I did.

Anyway, on to the rest of my day. I haven't got much to do this afternoon, everything I needed to do was done, and I had no other plans for the day. I have spent most of this afternoon writing today's blog, and while I was doing that I watched the rain as it poured down outside.

The British weather is certainly coming back, it has been raining a lot over the last few days. I wish the weather would warm up, I don't like this cold weather anymore.

Well, it turns out I ended up watching the back of my eyelids for a few hours. I don't know why I fell asleep, maybe it was that late night, it must have finally caught up with me.

Anyhow, the rest of my day was spent resting and watching television.

So, on that note, I think it is time for me to sign off, after all I have written over two thousand words and I think I am boring you all to death.

### Sunday Walk, and Shops - 17 March 2013

Today started out with a shopping trip to Tesco, this trip was necessary because I ran out of yogurts and kitchen roll, so, as they say when needs must and all of that rubbish.

While I was walking to the shop, I could feel my left eye pulling, this means that the scar in my eye was swollen again. I always hate when this happens, my eyesight becomes blurred and worse of all it stings for a few days.

I decided to go to the shop by myself this time, I wanted some time to myself because it gives me a chance to clear my mind, we all need time to ourselves occasionally. I would have invited mum or Laura to come, but they were all still in bed, might I add that when I left the house, it was 10am, I think they're taking this day of rest stuff too seriously, you don't see me having a lie in, I was awake at 8am, lazy sods, only kidding!

Anyhow, I got the shopping and it was time to walk home, this was the most awkward part of my journey because I had to carry the shopping home, it was one of those times where you'd wish you had more than two arms.

During the walk home I got a call from my sister, she was asking how far away from home because dad wanted to give me a lift home, I denied this offer because I was on the main road, and to be honest it wasn't that far from home.  So, with that said I carried on walking home. After five minutes had passed, I spotted my dad driving towards me, as he got closer, he pointed to me that he was going to stop in the car park nearby to give me a lift home.

Anyway, after a short ride, I arrived back home. I was starving, it felt like I hadn't ate for ages. My stomach has been playing up recently, I can eat and eat, and I will still feel hungry afterwards, maybe everything is starting to go in the right direction for me.

So, Anyhow, I sat down to have my lunch, it wasn't much just plain rice with brown sauce. I know this is a weird combination, but it was better than rotting my stomach with hot curry sauce. I think K would tell me off if I did because she noticed every time I have spicy curry sauce it makes me feel poorly, so I stuck by her advice and had something less spicy.

The rest of my afternoon was spent resting and watching the back of my eyelids. I know, I am lazy, but my eye was starting to hurt and I needed to sleep off the pain.

When I woke up, my eye still felt sore, I had to push past the pain because I had today's blog to write, and I didn't want to miss any days out.

So, with that said, I think it is time for me to sign off. The rest of my day will only be spent resting or eating, maybe I will do them at the same time, or I might do them one at a time, can't overload the brain, you know what us men are like with multitasking. Before I go, I will leave you with this short joke.

How many balls of string would it take to reach the moon?

Just one if it's long enough!

### MilkyStones, and Overwhelmed - 18 March 2013

I didn't know how start today's blog, it has been the same old day really. The day started out with a walk to the post office to send off my iPhone 4S, such a heartbreaking moment, that iPhone has been a lifeline to me over the years, how sad does that sound? I had no choice, but to get rid of it, it was way out of its warranty and I wasn't going to risk it breaking down on me, and it also had no insurance which made it more risky.

When I arrived at the post office, there was the obvious two mile queue with people waiting. I always hate it when it is like this because you end up standing there for ages, and by the time you get to the front of the queue you forget what you were there for!

After thirty minutes had passed, I was finally at the front of the queue. While the woman was processing my package, she noticed that the postage had to be reduced by 50% because I had a prepaid packet, this meant the company I was sending it to had contracts in place with the royal mail that reduced the costs for the consumers who send packages to them. So, instead of me paying £6 in postage, I ended up only paying £3, you can't turn your nose up at that!

After I finished at the Post Office, I needed to pick up some shopping from Tesco, lucky for they are both in the same building, as you walk out of one, you are in they other.

I only needed to get some yogurts, somehow I ran out, I don't know how it happened, well okay, I do, but I have been really hungry lately. As I reached the yogurts, I noticed that they didn't have any of the usual ones I buy, which wasn't good because I had to buy different ones, and the only smooth yogurts they had were Milky Bar. These were no good to me because they contain a high fat content, the last time I had loads of these, I ended up in hospital with gallstones, and believe me, it isn't a walk in the park because it is like going through childbirth for weeks.

So, with that said, I had no choice, but to buy these yogurts, it will only be until tomorrow, and I am sure it will be okay (wasn't I wrong).

Anyhow, with shopping in hand, all I needed to do was to walk home. I normally love these short walk, but I hate them when my ankle and knees ache, it always feels like someone is sticking needles in me or kicking me really hard.

After a short, but lengthy time elapsed walk, I was finally home. I could finally stick my feet up, and have something to eat.

As I mentioned earlier, I brought some Milky Bar yogurts. After I ate four of the yogurts, it started to give me pain across my side and gallbladder. I honestly regret buying these yogurts because this happens every time and I get massive spasms through abdomen. These symptoms are normal for someone with a gallbladder that cannot process high volumes of fat, or a gallbladder that contains gallstones. Over the years I have had many issues with my gallbladder, and I remember one occasion when I was hospitalized because it made me paralyzed. Some people may disbelieve that, but you won't know how it feels until you go through the same problem.

Anyway, to be brief, I am regretting eating those yogurts. They have caused me many pains all day, and yes I know it was self-inflicted, but I had no other choice, if you want to blame anyone, then blame Tesco for not stocking my usual wildlife yogurts ... Okay, okay, I can't blame Tesco, to be honest I wasn't thinking straight, if I took more time to think it over, I would have found a more suitable solution.

So, putting the pain aside, I have had a surprising day. While I was doing a web search on my book, I found that my books were now listed on a big UK retailers digital download store, this was a massive surprise to me because I didn't think they were good enough to be listed on well-known retailer websites, maybe they will surprise me more by stocking the paperback editions of my books, who knows?

The other news I wanted to talk about, was how much I am honored by the outstanding responses I have received since I made my eating disorder story public in UK national media. I was meant to mention this some time ago, but after the story went public, I was inundated with positive messages of support, it blew me away because I didn't think anyone would care about the story. Well, anyway, to be brief. The story has gone a long way, not only for me, but for suffers and those who have lost loved ones through the disorder. I receive many messages a day, either offering support or from suffers wanting advice, and that is from both genders of many ages. I have even had messages from families who have lost loved ones, and they offer nothing, but support. I have full respect for each person that messages me, and no matter how bad I feel, I still go out of my way to give them a personal reply.

So, I want to thank each person who has contacted me over the last year, it has been a lifeline to me over the last year, and I hope I will carry on inspiring each person that messages me.

Anyhow, on to the rest of my day. I can certainly say after today's news, it has left me feeling overwhelmed, it may seem weird, but this keeps me thinking positive because I am helping the world in my own "little way."

So, on that good note, it is time for me to sign off. I hope you all have a wonderful day, and may your dreams be long & peaceful.

### Wisdom, and no SIM swap - 19 March 2013

Life is, complex, easy, long winded, short, fun, crazy, sad, joyful, and it can also be cruel, but it is the road we all walk down each day, we take each step and wonder what will happen next? This wonder is what keeps us going, and no matter if you hit bumps in the road, you will overcome them and carry on following the same road because through every bump, there will always be a way forward.

Well, today has started out with gallbladder pains, not the best thing to wake up with. When I woke up it felt like someone was stabbing me in the side with a knife, as I mentioned yesterday I had some Milky Bar yogurts, and as also mentioned they caused me to get massive pains. These pains are due to the high fat content, in one small pot it contains nearly 8% fat, can you believe that? This was my own fault, I knew the complications, but I still ate them, as the old saying goes, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

Anyhow, skipping over these pains. I have spent most of the morning drinking loads of tea and trying to promote my latest book. I wanted to run an ad campaign on Facebook to get more interest for my books, even the books are selling beyond my expectations, I wanted to take the risk to get more interest with my books using a social media platform.

I wanted to talk about something I mentioned a few days ago about the SIM card swap I needed to do because I sold my iPhone 4S. This SIM swap should have been a quick process, it has been four days now and I still haven't had my service restored. I am beyond annoyed about this because it was a simple task, moving a SIM card from one to they other should be a breeze, all you need to do is provide the company with the valid SIM card number and then they cut the old SIM card straightaway and from there it takes up to twenty-four hours to activate on the new SIM card.

When I spoke with the company in question, they were very surprised that it hadn't moved across, according to them the new SIM card is working perfectly and it is talking to the network, but it isn't moving the number across like it should. They decided to send a new SIM card out, which is very pointless because they have admitted the error is with them, so it won't change the situation because the system isn't moving the number over, think about it like this, you have two SIM cards, one to the left and one to the right, and the master system is sat in the middle. The system in the middle tells the old SIM to switch off and once that is confirmed it tells the system to move it to the new SIM.

The new SIM card was meant to be here today, but as you can guess, it didn't and I had to ring them yet again to make them aware of the situation. When I rang them they stated that it was definitely being delivered today, which was incorrect because our postal worker had already delivered the post. They were trying to tell me that our postal service had more than one delivery drop off, unless they send it recorded or special delivery it will not come on a second delivery drop off. I don't know why they tried to tell me that rubbish because I know it was only sent out by first class post, which also means the SIM card could go missing and add more delays to the process. The company in question cannot be blamed for delivery delays, but it is halting the process to restore my service. I also forgot to mention that the company in question could lose money because there is a clause in my pay monthly contract that states, if I am without a service for seven days I am allowed to cancel the contract at no extra cost. They only have three days left before I can put this request in, which I don't want to do, but I require a working mobile service because of my condition. This is one thing I don't want to do, but you must remember one thing, when you take out a contract you agree to fulfill every aspect of the contract, and the company must do the same thing, or else it becomes void and whoever breaks the agreement will incur fees.

Anyway, skipping over these problems. I have spent most of the day just relaxing, well apart from when I went shopping, that was the same old really, I ran out of yogurts again and I needed to get some extra stuff to help relax the pain with my gallbladder.

So, apart from this, nothing else major has occurred today, which means I have nothing more to report. I will sign off now, I do hope you all enjoyed my words of wisdom at the beginning and I also hope it will inspire you all to carry on, no matter what life throws at you.

### Bad Thigh, and Sim Saga - 20 March 2013

So, today started out really relaxed, I got up and made myself a bowl of cornflakes with Rice Krispies, and then I sat on the sofa with my iPad and watched television.

After I had my breakfast, I got myself washed and changed because we were going out shopping today in the local town centre. As I was getting changed, I was debating whether to wear normal trousers or shorts, the sun was shining and I thought why not wear shorts, it won't be that cold today (wasn't I wrong).

Once I got changed, I went downstairs to put my coat on and to get my bag ready. Anyhow, with all that done, it was time to head out and get in the car. Dad was giving us a lift because myself & mother cannot walk that far, and I also had pain in my ankle, which meant I needed extra help.

After a short journey, we were in the town centre and it was time to take a relaxed walk around the market. The local market is always busy, this is normal for our market because everyone is trying to get a bargain, and you would be surprised how much money you can save by shopping on local markets, especially for fruit and veg.

So, to be brief, mum got all the stuff she needed from the market and it was time for a Costa Coffee, which is in the local Tesco supermarket, you will know the one I mean because I have mentioned the shop in a previous blog.

Anyhow, we walked into Costa Coffee and sat in our usual seats. When our drinks came, I just sat back in my seat and guzzled two drinks, one hot chocolate and one tea, they didn't even touch the sides, I was very thirsty, and I don't know why I was, but oh well, everyone has to drink.

While I was waiting for everyone to finish their drinks, I sat and thought about some of the stories I am writing, and I was also texting K about me being in Costa Coffee.

Skipping ahead to the walk around the shop. As we were walking around the shop, I could feel a numbness shooting up my right leg, and with every step I took the pain was gradually getting worse. When the pain got to much for me, I had to leave my card with mum and find a seat outside to rest my legs.

So, with that said, I went outside and sat on a bench. While I was sitting on the bench, I felt a ping in my right thigh, this was a blood vessel bursting, and from that point my thigh was in so much pain. When this happens it hurts madly, but all I can do is take painkillers to numb the pain. This happens regally, I have scars all over my ankles, and I also have some scars on my shins.

Anyway, after ten minutes, they all emerged from the shop and we jumped into a taxi to go home. I was so glad to be going home because I had many pains and I was also very hungry, I could eat a horse, ironically we were at Tesco, but I don't think I could eat their burgers.

So, finally we were home. Mum said she would make lunch for me because I was in no fit state to make anything, she suggested scrabbled eggs, which I didn't turn down because I love scrambled eggs.

After I filled my stomach, it was time to catch up with a few things, and try to sort the SIM card situation again. That's right I am still having problems with my phone service, as I mentioned yesterday, they admitted that there is nothing wrong with my current SIM card or phone, all tests came back perfect, which means the error is with them. When I called them today, the person I was dealing with said that a new SIM card will not change the situation, but here is the funny part, he sent out a second SIM card and gave me another £5 credit on my account. Can you see the logic in that? I honestly think they know that there is a problem with my account and they are just trying to drag it out, if they're dragging out, then I don't see why they are doing it because I am free to leave on Friday with no extra charge, they must think I am joking, but they will find out the hard way I guess.

Anyway, I am going to skip ahead to the evening because I haven't done anything else in the afternoon, apart from holding my leg in pain and moan like a baby, which would bore you to death if did that, so I will resist the urge to say what is on my mind.

During the evening, I spent a good few hours writing today's blog, I had nothing else to do because the writing I had planned needs to be done another day. I won't explain my writing projects, but in time you will understand what I mean.

So, with that said, it is time to sign off, I won't leave you with any jokes or quotes because I haven't had any time to look.

### Weekly Shop, and T-Lites - 21 March 2013

Well, today was shopping day with my parents. I promised my parents that I would pay for this week's shopping because I wanted to give them a hand this week, I do this regally for small things, but I thought it would be nice to save them money this week.

So, the day started out with a shopping trip to Tesco. I didn't mind getting up early because I did promise to get the shopping, and obviously I needed to be there because they can't use my card without me being there.

When myself and mum were walking around the shop, I warned her that she could spend up to £60, which is a respectful amount for shopping, but I don't mind if she goes slightly over because some of the prices might have increased.

Anyhow, after a long walk around the shop, we were finally finished and on our way home, and would you believe mum only spent £59.63? I know, amazingly we got two separate discounts of £5, which took £10 off the balance, as Tesco says Every Little Helps.

After a short car journey, we were finally home. I was very hungry, I didn't have anything this morning for breakfast because we just got up and went out. Even though I was hungry, I only had a small meal. I don't know why I had a small meal, I think it was me being lazy again.

Anyhow, skipping ahead to the rest of my day. I don't know if I mentioned the new trainers I ordered. I needed to get new pair because my other Nike trainers were starting to split, and they were wearing away at one side because of the way I walk due to my condition. The new trainers arrived today and I am very pleased with them. The trainers are called Nike T-Lite, they are like the old basketball ones I had, but they didn't raise at the front to give extra support to my ankle. The trainers are lovely like I said, but due to the lack of support, I am worried that they won't last long because of the way I walk, so I think my best option will be is to buy some shoes called Dr. Martens, these shoes are made to last, and the soles of the shoe would be able to last because they are made from tough material.

The funny thing is when I spoke with K about it, I said I wanted to get them in yellow, both K and my mum said that I would look silly wearing them, so to keep them both happy, I will buy them in black, maybe one day I will get the yellow ones just to embarrass both of them, I think that would be a fantastic idea, But I think they would both tell me off. Maybe I should get them in pink to bring out my feminine side, I would buy them just to see everyone's shocked faces, oh that would be hilarious, maybe I should do it, just for the sheer humor it would cause.

So, it is now 8:37pm and I have just finished on the phone to my mobile phone provider. I bet you know what I am going to say, yes, the SIM card did not arrive yet again, and I am getting more annoyed as this goes on because I have had no service for nearly a week now. I even spoke to a manager tonight and he was as much use as a chocolate fireguard, and he was also very rude, apparently according to this manager to resolve the issue I needed to get off my ass and get a new SIM card from one of their local shops, which isn't an option for me currently, but the manager soon regretted saying what he did because he repeatedly said Sorry. I couldn't believe he said it, how rude can you get? After he said this, I demanded to be put through to customer care because I was very annoyed. The other reason why I demand to speak to someone else was because there were other issues with my account that needed sorting, which he was refusing to resolve, so I had no choice, but to demand to speak with someone else.

Anyway, to be brief, I am now waiting for a new SIM card to arrive (yes another one), even though they have admitted yet again that the chances are that it won't fix the issue. I don't know why they are sending them in the first place, if they have admitted that the error is with them and not the SIM cards. Sometimes I am better off banging my head against the wall because I would get more sense out of it!

So, as you can imagine, this situation is starting to take it's toll on me and I can't believe that huge organization can get  simple things messed up.

I am very tired at the moment, I have rushed this blog, so to be honest I don't know if it sounds okay, but it doesn't matter because I normally ramble on.

Anyhow, I am going to sign off. I hope you all stay well and safe.

The mobile phone saga continues!

### Escaping Reality Rambling - 22 March 2013

Today started out with a lovely lie in, I couldn't believe the time, it was 9:30am and I couldn't be bothered to move out of my warm bed. I don't know why I felt so tired, I slept all night, I didn't even wake up. I must have had a nightmare or a restless night, either way I felt rough.

When I finally had the energy to move, I got up and headed towards the kitchen to make a cup of tea. I was still half asleep while I was making my drink, I rubbed my eyes several times before the blur disappeared from my eyes.

Anyhow, after a drank my drink, I laid down on the sofa again because my energy and pain were causing me to feel very low.

I had another pain in my gallbladder again, it started last night after dinner, I thought it was going to pass, after all I have had this before. I always hate having these problems because it gives me flu symptoms, to be honest I never know if I have a cold or a gallbladder issue. Anyway, nothing I can do really, apart from drinking loads of liquids and regulate my fat intake.

Skipping ahead to something that is on my mind. I have been feeling somewhat lonely lately, don't get me wrong I have some fantastic friends, but most of them live in other parts of the country, which makes it harder because you would love to see them everyday. I am lucky in a way because I communicate with close friends every day over Skype, text messages or email.

The problem I have is that, I am always stuck in this house, the only time I venture out the house is when I need to get food shopping. I know it may seem sad, but I have had life like this for years now, even when I was at school, I was never the popular student, the only time I was popular, was when other students wanted to bully me for their own amusement.

I guess this explains why I ended up overweight when I was younger, I ate because it took away the pain of the hurt I felt. I used to go home and lock myself away in my room, and then I would eat loads of food. The bullying got worse, and in all fairness no one gave a toss about what was going on, you would think a school would help, but that isn't the case, all they care about is sweeping it under the carpet.

This isn't some guilt trip, this is real life, I have been through so much, and in all honesty my life has never changed. I have always been alone, and no matter what I do, there is always someone causing me trouble, if you are close friend to me then you will know what I have been through.

So, getting to the point. I think this is why I write a lot because I am able to write scenarios that would only appear in fairy tales. I guess this is one of those moments when you think, well is this all I have? I have fantastic friends and family, but the life I yearn for is only found in fairy tales and it isn't reality, or is it? I have always questioned many aspects of life, it always seems like everything is uncertain and nothing works out for those who are always trying to have a better life. The old saying goes, those who cheat, will always win, they will get everything handed to them on a plate. Whereas the people who struggle get nothing, and they end up struggling, no wonder depression has increased over the years.

I know one thing, the life I have at the moment will not change, unless fairy tales come true, then nothing will ever change for me.

I always hope that life will change, no world hunger, no war, no hatred, and most of all a life where people are treated as equal, maybe this will happen when hell freezes over, who knows really, this world is a mixed bag of tricks, nothing ever works out and there is always something that gets in the way to make the world even colder.

Take what you like from these rambling words, maybe I am wrong, or maybe I am right, who knows? I just wish mine would have a change of luck, I guess that's what everyone is wishing, but sometimes it doesn't happen.

So, it is coming up to the evening, and I am feeling many pains going through my gallbladder. I will have to ride the wave again, I am used to it by now, so it isn't anything uncommon to me. The one symptom that really annoys me, is the sneezing fits.

Anyway, with that said, it is time for me to sign off because I have a nose to reattach after all this sneezing.

### Snow, and Rude People! - 23 March 2013

Well, this evening has been enjoyable. I ended up in a long chat with Steve & Carl, it lasted until 2am, I don't know how I stayed up so late.

The conversation was mostly spent talking about ghosts and the upcoming meet up in York that we are having. When we were talking about ghosts, it started to make me feel a bit on edge, my mind went into overdrive and I kept on looking around the room to make sure nothing was going to creep up on me. Don't get me wrong, the thought of ghosts do scare me, but it also excites me because you don't know if you will come across one. I am a firm believer that ghosts do exist in some form, but they're not as bad as people make them out to be. I have previously spoken about one experience of ghosts when I was younger, it certainly scared me, between you and me, it made cry. I was only eight years old at the time, so I didn't really understand, and I always thought ghosts were going to cause me harm. As I have grown up, the thought of ghosts hasn't plagued me, the only time it does is when I let my mind go haywire. I think this fear of ghosts is natural, we all have fears, it doesn't matter what it is, we all have them.

After a couple of hours went by, Carl needed to go to bed because he was tired from his long day at work.

When Carl left, myself and Steve started talking about many random topics. We ended up getting on to the topic of my birth and how it has affected since I had my case dismissed for medical negligence. I have felt very broken up ever since this happened, it isn't easy to accept, how can I feel okay with something, when I don't know the truth surrounding my birth? I have to go through life not knowing what happened, it couldn't be one of these events that just happen. I have been through my medical records and it clearly states that I was starved of oxygen, then after that, I was given too much oxygen, which means it caused my brain injury. I have had this looked at by several doctors and they have all said that it contributed to my brain bleed & tumor. I know I shouldn't dwell on this, but I have the right to the truth, and no matter how many times I ask the hospital, they end up ignoring the question and chat on about something I didn't ask them about.

Anyhow, I don't want to ramble on about that, you will find out more when I publish a book about it, plus it is 3:30am and I am getting extremely tired. As I say it is late, so I am going to rest my head for a few hours. I have got a long day tomorrow because I want to write notes about my medical records, this will allow me to start making sense of this whole situation.

The morning started out with a light dusting of snow, yes we have snow again, it is meant to be spring and we are sat in the middle of bleeding snowstorm. What has the world coming to?

Anyhow, enough of the weather discussion, it is such a boring subject anyway, but if you haven't seen snow before then here is a picture.

So, it was coming up to 12pm and I needed to go out with Laura to get some shopping because I was running out of food.

While we were walking to the shop, the snow was battering us from every direction, it kept on going into my eyes which annoyed me, but I had to put up with it because you can't walk along with your eyes shut, or else you will walk into everything.

After a short walk, we were finally at Tesco. I was glad to be in the warm, it was freezing outside and it felt like my fingers were going to drop off. As we were walking around the shop, I noticed something weird, it was a jar of bacon jam, what a weird combination of flavors, each for their own I guess. I will leave a picture below of the bacon jam, then every bacon lover can spread this on their toast.

When the mid afternoon came, I needed to ring the mobile phone company yet again. This was meant to be an open and shut case, but wasn't I wrong! They refused to help, and passed the blame by passing me from one person to the next. I haven't known a company like it, even when I spoke to managers, they refused to help and decided to try to talk over me, instead of hearing what I had to say. After being passed around to eight advisers and two manager call backs, I got passed to a nice lady from the retention's team, she listened to everything I had to say, and she also understood how badly I have been treated. I couldn't believe that I found someone who understood my point, and the best thing was that she explained things in simple terms for me, which was a big help because I suffer from learning difficulties.

So, with that said, I need to fill out a complaint form and request a callback from someone who will look over the situation correctly. I hope this problem gets sorted soon because my patience is starting to run very thin, it isn't fair that they have treated me like this, after all I pay my bill, and in all honesty I don't take kindly to someone talking to me like dirt.

Anyhow, the evening is now here and I am completely exhausted. I have never known a situation to drain me like this before, my shoulder and neck are aching like anything, it feels like someone is stabbing me in the neck with a rusty knife.

Anyway, I think it is time to sign off, I have had enough for today. I hope everyone stays well and I hope your dreams are filled with warming love.

### Birth Negligence, and Notes - 24 March 2013

Today started out with pains in my hip, it felt very stiff, and before you all start thinking dirty, no I didn't mean the obvious crude stiffness, so get your mind out the gutter.

Anyhow, I haven't done much today. I have spent most of the day looking through sixteen years worth of medical documents. I am doing this because I want to finally get proper answers surrounding my birth. During my investigation, I noticed that several doctors have all agreed that I had a brain injury which was caused at birth, this wasn't just one doctor, it was four doctors over the space of sixteen years. I am going to carry on fighting because it is my right to know the truth, and if that means it takes me years to do then that is what I am going to do.

I have been writing notes all afternoon, I can't believe the case was chucked out at the time because even an outside doctor to the case agreed that I was over-ventilated, so if that isn't birth negligence, then I don't know what is.

Anyway, apart from this, I have been trying to sort out the mobile saga (yet again). This time round, I got through to someone very helpful, they ran more tests on my account and found that there was an error on their system (like I told them before), even though the problem was still not sorted, they still tried their hardest to help. They of course had to credit my account again because it is their problem. I have to wait for another SIM card to arrive to try to get the problem sorted, but even with that said, they warned me that it might not fix the problem, which means that would need to credit my account every day for loss of service until the problem is sorted, so expect this to carry on because they have told me this before and nothing changed.

Expanding on this issue further. I mentioned yesterday that I was advised to put in a complaint because I was treated very badly, so, with that said, I spent an hour constructing a complaint and I hope they get back to me because it would be an hour wasted, and it will also mean they don't really care.

So, anyway, away from these issues, it has been snowing all day again. I wish it would stop, it is spring for goodness sake! Apart from this, I haven't done anything else today, it is Sunday after all, so you wouldn't expect much to happen.

Anyway, on that note, it is time to sign off. Let's hope tomorrow will look brighter, and hopefully it won't snow all day again!

### Some Progress, Sim Saga - 25 March 2013

Well, after a long night of terrible sleep, the day was finally here. I had a very bad dream last night, it was one of those dreams that made no sense, to be honest I think it was caused by the cold weather. This assumption is based on previous events of a similar nature, in all honesty this problem is easy to solve, I just grabbed my second duvet and wrapped myself up in a ball. After ten minutes went by, I could feel my body warming up, and from there I just fell asleep until 9am.

The morning was bitterly cold, I ended up with my duvet wrapped around most of the morning. I hate this kind of weather, it gets into my muscles and causes me loads of pains. I am glad it isn't snowing today, let's hope the snow goes away very soon because we need some warmer weather.

Anyhow, I have some news on the mobile saga. I had a call from the complaint's department today, they were deeply saddened to learn their staff had treated me badly. The person I spoke with explained that I couldn't use the SIM card I had because it was assigned to a number on Pay as you go, which meant it couldn't port my number over. This means the last week of trouble has been a big waste of time for both parties involved, when he told me this, I was very annoyed because their staff should know the differences between SIM cards and what they do, but anyway, it looks like there will be some light at the end of the tunnel because they're sending me the right SIM card and they will be ringing me Wednesday To talk about a compensation package. So, let's hope there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I forgot to mention that mum's parcel is coming today. I bought her the Osmonds up close and personal box set collection for her birthday, well and partly for mothers day. I let her have it early because she would only moan at me, and I couldn't be mean to her after all. Overall she is very pleased  with the box set, she was watching it all afternoon, and she even cried when they sang some of the songs. She was on tender hocks all morning, every ten minutes she was looking for the delivery man, god help him when he turned up, she probably ripped it out of his hands. I wouldn't know what happened because myself and Laura needed to get some shopping.

So, on to shopping. As we walked to the shop we were battered by the bitter wind, it hit our faces like little ice daggers. Anyhow, after a short walk, we were at the shop. I only needed to get some more yogurts, it seems like I go through yogurts like mad lately, I guess I am getting very hungry these days. Anyway, after a quick rush around the shop, it was time to brace the bitterly cold weather again. While I was walking home I got a call from Steve, we just had a general chat about stuff, you know as good friends do, it certainly took my mind off the bitter wind that was smacking me in the face.

Well, after all that we were back home. I was glad to be in the warm again. I had to leave my coat on for thirty minutes to warm up because my whole body was stone cold. After I warmed up, I made myself some plain noodles so I could try some new chili & garlic sauce I bought. I think I tried the sauce years ago on a kebab, my memory isn't what it used to be, so I can't remember when. So, with my lunch made, it was time to taste The Almighty sauce. As I put the noodles in my mouth it didn't seem so bad, but wasn't I wrong! The sauce got hotter as I shoveled more noodles in my mouth, in the end I couldn't take anymore so I stopped eating them and got some yogurts to eat so it could neutralize the spice.

Skipping ahead to the evening. Today has been one those days that make you realize that things can get sorted in the end. I also want to say, I am very thankful for my close friends, you know who you are, through the good and the bad times, we will be there for each other no matter what happens.

So, on that delightful note, time for me to go and turn this laptop off. I am exhausted and after last nights lack of sleep, I think I need to do some catching up.

### Relaxed, and Bad Tooth! - 26 March 2013

I can't believe how relaxed today has been. I got up and done the same old breakfast routine, watched TV and had something to eat, you know the same old daily rubbish.

Most of my day has been focused on writing my eating disorder story, from the morning until late in the afternoon I was sat at the dinning room table with a pen and paper writing down several parts I could use for my story. I don't know what was wrong with me today, I couldn't get my words in order today, it was like somebody was in my head moving everything around, think of it like a spring clean, but done in reverse, while I was trying to clean it out, they were trying to mess it up!

This writing lark becomes hard at times, sometimes you have  ideas in your head and then other times you don't, it is selective at times. As I have said before, I can sit for hours writing a story, but the chances are it won't make sense to anyone because I know that I talk rubbish at times, you all know what I mean by this! Anyhow, I tend to get through this writing problem easily, I just start writing about something different for ten minutes and then it all comes flooding back to me.

So, other than that, I haven't done much else all day. I did go to Tesco though, a day wouldn't be complete without stopping off there. This time I needed to go there because I have a stained tooth, it has been like it for a while and I need it sorting, to be honest it makes me feel embarrassed because it looks like I don't look after my teeth. I wouldn't mind, but I don't drink or smoke, so I don't know why it has gone that way. I would understand if it was smoking or drink, but for someone who doesn't even touch the stuff, it is a complete mystery!

Anyway, while I was at Tesco, I picked up some special toothpaste called "Pearl Drops," according to the box, it is meant to restore the whiteness in your teeth. Knowing my luck it won't work, but I have some hope because the tooth isn't dead yet, so I might have saved it. I hope it doesn't fall out, if it does it will mean I have to see the dentist to have a false one fitted, which isn't cheap might I add! When it comes to replacing any of my teeth, I want them replaced with gold teeth, rather than anything less because they will last long, and they will look really lush. Could you imagine that? A whole mouth filled with gold teeth! Oh, when can I get this done?

Skipping ahead to the evening. I totally forgot to write the blog for today, I only realized at 7pm when Laura said to me have you written today's blog? I replied oh no! I forgot! I quickly jumped out of my seat and turned the laptop on, I was like a bluebottle, rushing around everywhere just to get this done. I was going that quick that anyone would have thought I was on crack! What also surprised me, was how quick I could write five hundred words, it is amazing what you can do in a rush!

So, anyway, I think it is time to sign off, but before I do, I wanted to update you with the mobile phone saga. The SIM card still hasn't arrived, but knowing them it won't arrive, then they will end up making up more excuses. Anyhow, the complaints manager will be ringing me tomorrow, so I hope he has good news about a compensation package because I won't be putting up with this again!

So, let's hope it's all good news tomorrow!

### Another day, and no service! - 27 March 2013

Today has been surprising. The SIM card has finally arrived, third time lucky as they say, well it hasn't been that lucky because it still hasn't worked. When I spoke to the mobile provider, they told me that the account has been messed up by a member of staff knocking my number off the network, which means it will be very hard to fix, the person I spoke with said the chances are of it fixing are very low, and if it doesn't fix they will have to cancel my contract because it is their fault and not mine. I will have to wait and see what they say because I am happy to work with them, but what I won't be happy about is paying them money for a service that I can't even use, which in fairness they have said the same.

After I got off the phone to my network provider, I needed to get ready to go into town because I was going with Laura's partner David to look for a new camera that he wanted.

Oh before I forget to mention, I ordered myself a brand new camera today, it was a tad bit expensive, but I am hoping it will pay for itself over time because I have a few plans up my sleeve. Anyhow, I will discuss that tomorrow once it has been delivered, back to what I was talking about.

So, with that said, we started heading towards the bus stop. I was hoping that we didn't have to wait long for the bus, but it didn't turn out like that. We stood at the bus stop for thirty minutes before a bus arrived, I am guessing that bus every ten minutes stuff has gone out of the window, sounds about right for our local council. Anyhow, after our long wait, the bus finally arrived! I was glad it arrived because I think body parts were going to fall off if we stood there much longer.

After a short journey, we were finally in town, which also meant we had to walk in the freezing cold weather, yea thanks a lot British weather, you could change occasionally you know, stop playing the same old tune of cold and wet weather! Picture how cold I was, I only had a thin shirt on underneath my coat and the cold was going up my back, it felt like someone stuffed ice cubes down my shirt ... Okay I will stop complaining. Anyway, after going around a few shops, we decided to stop off at Costa Coffee, hint, hint, sponsor maybe? I only had my normal order, hot chocolate and Tea. As I drank my drink, I remembered I needed to take my pills, I forgot to take them this morning, yes I know, naughty Marc, but don't worry it's okay, I won't do it again!

Skipping ahead. After an unsuccessful camera search, it was time to head home, but before we did, I stopped off at one shop to pick up a new memory card. The memory card was 32GB in size and it only cost me £15, and yes Steve I know I could have brought a class 10 for £5 more, but I forgot, you know what I am like, I will remember next time, how many times have I said that? I am resisting the urge to laugh because I say that every time and I always forget, but the good thing is Steve doesn't mind, he always understands that I forget, he is like a brother to me because he always looks out for me and tries to give me the best deals.

So, I got the memory card, and we were waiting to get a bus home. While we were waiting for a bus, we heard a noise, it sounded like someone was acting like a car engine, you wouldn't believe this, but it was three kids riding their bikes through the bus station acting like a car! I could help myself from laughing at their stupidity, they must have upgraded their bike engines. As they went past, the bus conductor laughed and said f***ing idiots, to be honest it was humorous, but who hasn't been guilty of being stupid occasionally? Anyhow, after a ten minutes went by, we were nearly at our bus stop, all we needed to do was to get up and wait for the bus to stop, this didn't go to plan! I started to get up, and from out of know where the bus decides to turn sharply around a corner, well from there I ended up on my backside nearly knocking a poor woman over.

I am going to skip ahead to the evening because nothing else major happened, after all I have rambled on enough already. The evening was the same old really, which was good because I wasn't up for doing anything special.

So, with that said, it is time for me to sign off, but before I do, here is something that all men should remember, a man is only as good as the woman who leads him.

### Saga, Confusion, and Camera! - 28 March 2013

Well, today has certainly been stressful. I have been on the phone to the mobile company again because my service hasn't been restored. I spent a good two hours going through diagnostics with five individuals, and after no success, they were left confused because the SIM card was refusing to talk to the network. After all the confusion, they finally had the problem escalated to the first line technical team, which means it is above the normal technical team, and I had a strike of luck because the complaint I made has been passed onto the higher management team because this problem should have been fixed already without all the feeble excuses. Anyhow, with that said, according to the first line technical team, the problem has been caused by a system activation error and it will take forty-eight hours to restore my phone service. I don't know about you, but I don't believe this will work because they have admitted my account has been fully messed up by one of their technical team, I think they're trying to hang it out to see if it sorts itself out. I have warned the company in question about pending legal action if my service isn't restored, in all fairness, I have the right to do this because the problem is with them and not me. I can only hope that my service will restore itself soon, but in all honesty, I won't be holding my breath, they have said all this before.

So, after all the confusion and stress, it was time to sit down and have a drink. I didn't have one all morning because of all the stress. While I was having a hot chocolate, a package arrived for me, it was the rechargeable kit for my iPhone and iPad. This rechargeable kit is able to charge both devices fully and it will have enough battery power to charge them again. When I was testing the rechargeable kit, it seemed to work flawlessly, it charged my iPhone5 very quickly and it kept the device charged all day. This rechargeable kit will come in handy next week when we are away in Yorkshire.

Skipping ahead to the afternoon. I spent most of the time in bed feeling rubbish, I felt very tired, and the weather didn't help matters because it was freezing! As I laid there in my bed, I sat watching a film on Netflix, which didn't last long because I fell asleep after ten minutes.

When I woke, I was greeted by mother's voice calling me for dinner. She made a beautiful Korma curry, it hit the spot nicely, even after I finished my helping I was craving more! I was in luck this time because mum didn't want the rest of hers, so I thought why not nosh hers down too, it will only go to the waste bin if I didn't eat it. Anyhow, after I ate all that, I was truly stuffed! I couldn't eat another thing, even thinking about food makes me feel sick at the moment because I am beyond stuffed.

So, on to the evening. I have a funny story to share. I have been waiting all day for my new Canon 1100D camera to arrive and for some reason I started to panic because I thought it wasn't going to turn up, so from there my stomach went mad and I had to run to the toilet. Well, to be brief, as I opened the toilet door, there was a knock at the front door, it was the delivery man delivering my camera. I couldn't believe I had a small panic because of that, it wasn't even worth getting stressed over, but it doesn't matter now because it has been delivered now.

Anyhow, I won't give many details away, but this camera will go a long way to help towards future projects.

The rest of my evening was spent writing out today's blog and nursing a stomach ache. I will have to ride the pain out and take it easy, and yes K you were right, it is my fault, but I promise I won't have anymore spicy food, well I will try the best I can (smiley face).

So, with that said, it is time to sign off. Today has certainly been stressful and lucky, let's hope things start looking up with the mobile saga.

### Good Friday, and Camera Test - 29 March 2013

So, today is good Friday, which means everyone has a four-day weekend to look forward to. My day started out with a visit from Hannah & Amber (nieces), they were spending the day with us because Cassie (sister) was doing something to her bathroom (I think). Hannah will be staying over tonight, which is good because she can have fun with Laura (sister) on the Playstation.

Anyhow, after a few hours went by, we all headed over to our local McDonalds to have lunch. While we were in the area, I needed to grab some shopping because I ran out of yogurts (I really need to find a cheaper alternatives!)

Skipping ahead an hour. We were finally home and I could finally have something to eat, I was starving, it was my own fault because I only had a small breakfast. I wanted to have something big, but I really couldn't be bothered, so I decided to have yogurts instead, and yes, I know I am lazy! Anyway, after I had something to eat, I spent the afternoon resting on the sofa. I was awake until 3am last night and I think the lack of sleep caught up with me because I felt completely drained.

So, the evening was nearly here and I was looking forward to resting on the sofa, but before I could do this, I needed to go out and test my new camera at the local park. Anyhow, to be brief, I got a few pictures of the park and I have put them below this paragraph. I didn't take as many as I would have liked, but it was cold and I didn't want to freeze my fingers off.

When I got back from the park I discovered that I had been stung on my hand. I don't know how this happened because I didn't feel anything sting me while I was out. The only time I noticed the sting was when I started to make a cup of tea, it was stinging a lot. I had to squeeze all the venom out of it and I also needed to get the stinger out. The stinger and venom came out perfectly, which was good because I was worried that I was going to have an allergic reaction.

So, with that said, I think it is time to sign off. I am going to have an early night because I am feeling very exhausted, I guess the late night has caught up with me. I hope you all enjoyed the pictures.

### Crazy Weather Moments! - 30 March 2013

The weather has been crazy today, one minute it is snowing and then the next minute the suns shining. When I woke up this morning, I discovered that I was suffering from sinus problems, it made me feel very stuffed up in my face, and the headache I had was terrible!

After I woke up and had breakfast, I received a call from the mobile company again, it was the manager I spoke with on Monday, he was calling me back because the problem was ongoing and he also apologized for not ringing me back on Wednesday. During the call we went over more technical steps to try to resolve the issue, but in the end that didn't work. The manager was confused because the SIM card was refusing to talk to the network, they tried everything to get this to work, but with every attempt they made it just failed. Anyhow, to be brief, the manager has to escalate this further because they believe the issue cannot be resolved and they need to know what has to be done now, e.g. Compensation and termination. This whole situation is starting to annoy me because it should be working, even the manager confirmed that this shouldn't be going on this long, and they also confirmed that there were no activation issues in the last two weeks, which means someone in the technical team have been telling lies again! I have to wait for the manager to callback in the next couple of days, to see what the next stage is, I have made it clear to the manager about my intentions of not paying if it goes over a month, so let's hope they get this resolved quickly.

As the afternoon came along, myself and Laura (sister) had to get some shopping from Tesco. When we got closer to the shop, I noticed the town seemed unusually busy today, it was like everyone decided to jump in their cars at the same time, there was traffic backed up for half a mile. I don't see why people are rushing about, the shops are only closed for one day, it isn't like we are running out of food, people have gone crazy!  Anyhow, we were lucky because we were walking, which was better than waiting around in a long queue. So, after a short walk around Tesco, we got all our shopping and headed back home in the snow.

When we got home, I needed to have something to eat because I was starving. I have been very hungry lately, it is like I want to eat constantly! I guess it won't cause me any harm to eat more, I need to put on more weight anyway. After I had something to eat, we decided to go over to the park again to take some more pictures. To be brief, the walk around the park went fine, well until the weather decided to change! The snow came out of nowhere, it hit us from every direction. I had to rush to put my camera away, the last thing I wanted was the weather to kill my brand new camera.

Skipping ahead to the evening. I have spent most of the time chatting with K and feeling rubbish. This lack of energy has come out of nowhere, I guess I will have an early night. So, on that note, it's time for me to sign off.

### Easter Sunday, Melted Eggs! - 31 March 2013

So, today is Easter Sunday. The one-day of the year we all have an excuse to stuff ourselves silly with chocolate. I even had two eggs this year, obviously I had mine melted down because I can't swallow some solid foods. Anyway, once the eggs were melted down, I grabbed a spoon and started eating like a yogurt, it was very sweet, it was like I swallowed whole bag of sugar! The sweetness of the chocolate was certainly strong, but it didn't bother me because I have a sweet tooth. I only regretted it afterwards because it made me feel very sick, I don't know if it was the amount of sugar or the rich texture, but either way I was laid up in bed listening to my stomach make weird noises.

As I mentioned before, my day has been spent nursing this sickness. I haven't done much else, well unless you count sleeping as an activity.

Even though I am feeling terrible, I haven't forgotten to drink plenty of fluids because I would feel worse if I got dehydrated, I have been like that before and it certainly makes you feel incredibly worse.

I think today has been another lazy day for me, nothing else has happened, well apart from watching the Oxford and Cambridge boat race earlier, unfortunately Oxford won, sorry if that upsets any readers, but I support my hometown of Cambridge no matter what happens.

Anyhow, on to the evening. The sickness was still plaguing me, and with every step I took, the feeling of sickness and fatigue were taking it's toll on my body. I had some luck mind, when I woke up I found that mother left me some Chili con carne on the stove. I had this with some noodles, it was very tasty. When I sat down and ate the meal mum said you better be careful, it has a kick to it. I think her taste buds are dying because that had no kick at all, I have had bigger kicks up my own backside then that. I don't think mother put any spices in it because I tasted no spices, it was like eating a Chili stew. Anyway, but needless to say it was tasty, and for a change it didn't give me stomach ache.

So, after today's sickness, I think it is time for me to have an early night, which probably won't happen because I always have restless nights. Signing off now, may you all be well and I hope you didn't eat too many eggs.

### Restless Night, and Sunset - 1 April 2013

What a bad night I have had, pains and no sleep, it really sucks big time! When the morning came, I had to take a cocktail of medications because the spasms and pains were getting uncontrollable. After I took the medication, it started to make me feel a bit better. I have the obvious side-effects though, I feel slightly high, and my eyes have big black bags underneath them. I hope this starts to settle down because I have several things happening this week. I will be going to London tomorrow with my family, and from Friday to Sunday I will be in Yorkshire meeting two of my best friends (Carl & Steve). The last thing I want is this growling pain hanging over me while I am out and about places, the last time I had this pain, I ended up nearly collapsing at Kent Railway Station.

Anyhow, I don't think I will have much to eat today, the pain is making me feel very sick and I don't think I should risk causing myself more pain. When lunchtime comes along, I might have something small, but that's about it, I hate feeling this way, it's like someone has kicked me in my abdomen with a steal toe cap shoe, and another thing is that the less I eat the more weight I lose, which is one thing I don't want to do because it has taken me long enough to get up to nine stone. I will have to wait and see what the day has to hold, you never know, it might change and the pain might go away, which will make me feel much happier.

Skipping ahead to the afternoon. I spent most of the time half asleep on the sofa and I was also trying to watch the football match that was on the television. After the football match, I felt exhausted, it's the lack of sleep catching up with me again. When I went to sleep, I was expecting to sleep for several hours, but this didn't go to plan because I was waking up every 10-15 minutes, it was frustrating, I needed sleep, but everything around me was planning to keep me awake. So, after an hour of interrupted sleep, I decided to get up and make myself some food. The only thing I had left in the cupboard was instant mash potato and spaghetti, and for the life of me, I hate that instant mash, it tastes like cardboard. I had no choice, but to eat it because that's all I had left.

Anyway, I want to talk about something that has been on my mind all day. I have been feeling like I can't do anything right, it's like my mind goes into overdrive and I end up beating myself up for it. These feelings always run through my mind when I am sick, it is very weird because I can be fine one minute and then the next minute I will be saying sorry for things I think I have done wrong, and chances are I haven't even done anything wrong, it's just my mind thinking I have done something wrong. I sometimes think that people get fed up with me because of these reasons. I guess this stuff will look better another day, hopefully these things will settle down.

As you will see by the above picture, we had a beautiful sunset, unfortunately you can't appreciate it as much because it is in black and white, but believe me, it was blissful, the right shades of oranges and yellows, and even the sun was a warming orange colour.

So, onwards and upwards. I hope tomorrow will be a warm day, and hopefully I will have many pictures to share during our trip to London.

### Bad Sleep, and London Trip - 2 April 2013

Well, the time is currently 12:55am and I am unable to sleep. I can't believe this has happened again, it's like I have little gnomes running around my head. I wish my mind would settle down at times, these late nights are getting too much for me. The weirdest thing is, I'm not doing anything to make my mind overwork, it makes no sense because I have been turning things off hours before I go to bed, so it shouldn't be effecting me like this. I guess it kind of helps for today because I am going to London and I don't know how much of the blog will get done today, I am aiming to get it done in time, but if I go over then it doesn't matter, these things happen.

I have to be up in approximately five hours time, and in reality this isn't far away. I don't see the point in sleeping now anyway, by the time I get into a deep sleep, it will be time to wake up again, which will make feel heavy and it will take me hours  to feel normal again. The best thing I can do now is to have plenty of fluids and to keep warm, by the time our trip is over, I will be ready to curl up in bed. This won't be a bad thing, I guess it will help me reset my body clock to more suitable sleeping times.

So, the day started out with a train journey to London. The train was packed, there wasn't even a spare seat for me to sit on, which meant I had to stand for an hour, and might I add, it was killing my knees. I don't know why people couldn't give up their seat to help me, but oh well, it doesn't matter, what is done, is done now. After an hour went by, we arrived into London Victoria railway station. I had a sigh of relief, my knees were killing me, but I couldn't let my pain show because I was looking forward to our day out.

I forgot to mention. I was going to London with Laura (sister), mother, Tash (sister in-law) Mia (niece), and obviously myself.

The day out started at the natural history museum, it was very interesting. I was constantly taking pictures and uploading them to my Instagram feed (instagram.com/VlogWithSid). I am glad I have an unlimited data plan because it would cost me a bomb if I had capped allowance, well, saying that, my allowance is unlimited, but it has a fair usage policy of ten terabyte a month, which I will never hit because I am on iPhone and I only have 64GB of storage, so reaching that allowance cap every month would prove very unlikely.

After we finished in the museum, it was time to grab some food and drink. Everyone else had breakfast at some posh restaurant, it was very overpriced and according to them lot the food tasted horrible. I didn't have any food, I just went over to Starbucks, I would have gone to Costa, but there wasn't any nearby, so I had to settle for second best. I know some people have their own opinions of coffee shops, and some people like one more than they other, so here is my opinion. After tasting my first Starbucks hot chocolate, I was left feeling disappointed, it wasn't very nice at all, I would rather have cheap brand hot chocolate instead of drinking that again. I am sorry if that seems very opinionated, but we all have certain things we dislike, and I am sorry to say, this is one of the things I dislike.

Once we finished our drinks, we headed over to the science museum. This was the most interesting part for me because I love everything to do with science, you might have guessed this by the previous blog posts I shared recently in a blog post. The museum had many exhibits, I won't go over each one because I would be here all night typing, and that is one thing I haven't got the time or energy for.

I am going to skip ahead to the late afternoon because I want to save some stuff for tomorrows blog, even though it is more to do with pain levels at the moment because all the walking has caused some nasty muscle spasms. When the afternoon came along we decided to do some sightseeing, which took its toll on because with every step I took the pain worsened and my left leg was starting to get weaker. These pains really hold me back at times, it isn't easy to cope with because I have to take many painkillers, and I have to endure the usual daily stares because I walk with a limp.

Sorry to cut this short, but I need to sign off for now. I need to have something to eat because I have hardly had any food all day. I will continue this story tomorrow, and you never know something more surprising might happen tomorrow too!

### Part Two London, and Meeting K! - 3-4 April 2013

Today was certainly one of the best I have had for such a long time, but before I talk about today, I want to finish off talking about yesterday's London trip.

As I mentioned yesterday, it was the afternoon and I was struggling with loads of pains. When the pains got to much for me, we all decided to grab some drinks from McDonald's. When we were standing in the queue I decided to take the advice K gave me about eating out, so with that said, I brought myself a plain ice-cream. While we were waiting for our drinks, Laura noticed that my ice-cream pot had a monopoly sticker on it, these stickers can be used to win prizes. So, anyway, she peeled the sticker off and it said you have won a hot drink, I thought YAY! I never win anything! I just ordered another hot chocolate.

Anyhow, with drinks and ice-cream in hand, we headed over to the national gallery to sit down near the fountains. I have been here before, the last I visited was when I met one of my best friends Carl. So, anyhow, skipping to my point. When we sat on the benches, I just sat quietly and slowly ate my ice-cream. While I was eating the ice-cream, I could hear K's voice telling me that I could do it, so K thanks to you, I was able to eat an ice-cream outside the house.

So, to be brief, after we had our drinks, we started heading home. I had to hold on to mum the whole way home because I could hardly walk, my legs were in agony and I needed that extra help to get me through the last leg of the journey. The journey home went along smoothly and we arrived back in record time, it only took an hour, the train must have had a rocket attached to it.

Right, now I can get back to today's blog. The day started out with the usual lack of sleep and early start, I didn't mind this because today meant a lot to me, and I wasn't letting anything get in the way. If you have been following my blog for a while, you will know that I recently started talking about a close friend of mine called K. I have always kept her identity hidden because I respect her privacy. Anyhow, I was meeting K for the very first time today, I was so excited to meet her because our friendship has become stronger as each day has gone by, it is surprising how much life can change in a short space of time because I couldn't go a day without K in my life.

When I woke up this morning, I couldn't stop thinking about meeting K, it was like this young child like spirit took over me, it felt like I was young again, and yes I know, I am still young, but sometimes I do feel old, it sounds crazy I know. The day started out with a very excited text message to K to see how she was, which is what I do normally because I like to make sure she is okay. Anyhow, after a few texts, K said to me that it was really windy outside, as I read that, I looked outside and there wasn't any wind from what I could see. So, I thought I would have a laugh and send a picture to her showing no wind, keep in mind I was sitting on the sofa wrapped up in a duvet at the same time. I found it hilarious because I like having cheeky little jokes, and K wouldn't expect anything less from me, I am always like that and I wouldn't be who I am if I wasn't cheeky sod.

After thirty minutes went by, K text me and said she was nearly finished at our local hospital. So, with that said, I headed out the door and headed towards the hospital. When I got on the first bus to the bust station, I was feeling really nervous, but that was more to do with excitement. I am going to try to write without sounding boring, but as you can guess the first part of all this just involved traveling.

Skipping ahead thirty minutes. The bus arrived at the bus stop were I was meeting K, as I got off the bus I looked over to my left and there was K waiting to meet me. I don't know what it was, but I spotted K straight away, I was worried that my eyesight would screw up on me and then I would end up getting worried, but lucky for me this didn't happen. When I first saw K, I was stunned for a couple of seconds, I thought to myself dreams do come true.

Anyhow, after the initial hello's, we both walked into town. During our walk, we passed the time talking about all different things, well and we were battling the traffic too, which meant I had to be sensible and not get hit by a car! When we got into town, the first stop off was to Costa Coffee, no day could start without it. As we got into Costa, I said to K that I would pay for her drink, but she wouldn't allow me, which meant we had a little moment where we were both laughing about paying for drinks. I had my usual order, hot chocolate & tea, but I had a shot of caramel in my hot chocolate. I needed that extra sugar burst because I didn't have much for breakfast, which would be the second day in a row that I have done this, yes I know it isn't good for me, but oh well, it could be worse.

Once we finished our drinks, we headed over to the inside shopping centre to use the toilets. I had loads to drink before we went into Costa and there was no way I could hold any longer.

After we finished up in the toilets, we headed over to a local phone shop because K needed to get a new iPhone charger. I kept on telling K that she could have one of mine because I have loads of spare charges, which lead to another laughable moment. I find these moments funny because we both care for each other, and like I always say if you care for someone it doesn't matter what it is, and it is better laugh together about it.

Well, on a different note, it turns out that I knocked out after writing the last paragraph. I was so tired last night, it got to around 1am and I felt very sick. So, anyway, let's carry on from where I left off.

When we left the phone shop, we started walking towards the inside shopping centre again because K need to get some stuff from the body shop. I never knew we had a body shop in our local town centre that shows how much I know about our town centre, and I wouldn't mind, but I have lived here for nearly eight years, yea that's scary when you think about it!

I need to skip ahead to the Wimpy restaurant because my memory is failing me today, I know it sounds bad, but I do have these moments. Anyhow, as I was saying. We sat in the restaurant and looked at the menu, I had my usual order, two hot chocolates. When I told the waitress my order, and for some reason the waitress seemed confused about my order, she asked me twice if I was sure, and both me & K said yea I will drink both of them. So, with that said, the waitress put my drinks on the table. The hot chocolate was okay, it isn't as good as Costa Coffee that's for sure! I don't know about you, but Costa Coffee should sponsor my blog, after all, I talk about them a lot. As time went on, some old man came in and chatted on about whether they could get a foreign news channel on the televisions, I wouldn't mind, but who would understand it, the last thing I want to watch is some news channel that is speaking in some foreign language, I don't know about you, but I don't carry a language book with me (resisting the urge to laugh). Anyhow, both myself and K had finished, and it was time to get up to pay. I said to K that I would pay for hers, which again left us both laughing because I put my foot down and said no, I am paying for yours.

Skipping ahead, myself and K sat down on some seats outside some shops, as you will see by the picture above. I think we will both leave you all guessing at the K's identity, or maybe one day we will surprise you all. So, the day had flown by very fast and I loved every second, I even wish that I could do it all again because she is certainly one in a million.

When K had to leave, we walked back to the train station. I was so glad that we met up today, certainly was a fantastic day. As we got closer to the station, we had a hug and said our goodbyes. When I was walking back to the bus station, I started to miss K a lot and I even had a few tears, it seems silly I know, but she is someone I have a close connection with and I didn't want the day to end, but I must remember that there will always be another day, which I can't wait for. Anyway, after that, I got on the bus and went home. I couldn't help feeling sad, after all it was a fantastic day, I guess it is my emotional side getting to me.

So, with that said, let's get back to today. When I woke up, I had a cold, it felt like someone had beaten me up during the night. I couldn't let it beat me because I have a busy day ahead. I am off to York tomorrow and I need to get my bags packed, which hasn't been done yet, but oh well, I will get it done. I won't talk too much, but I want to make you all aware that I am taking the days off and I will update the blog in four days time.

Anyway, on that note, I will be back soon. Please stay well and safe.

### York Trip Part One - 8 April 2013

Monday is here unfortunately, and the weekend trip to York has ended. I had such a fantastic time in York, such a delightful place. I loved how everything looked different, and how life seemed very relaxed. I currently live in a little place in Essex, it is quiet, but it doesn't have any character, well it does, but those weird characters are the people who live around in the area. I don't want this to turn into a rant post, but everyone is different, I just prefer places that have more character, e.g. Old buildings or the countryside.

The trip to York started last Friday at 6am, it was very early for me, I had no energy, but this was caused by a cold.

After much messing around with train companies, myself, Laura (sister) and David (Laura's Partner) hopped on the train and headed towards London Fenchurch Street railway station. I couldn't believe how many people were on the train, they must have wet the bed or something because the train was packed, this is something I really hate because I hate being closed in.

Once we arrived at Fenchurch Street, we had to go over to the ticket office because the tickets we had were issued wrongly the day before by our local railway station. Anyway, to be brief, after many arguments with the ticket office, we got our tickets changed. The time was now 8am, and I was in need of a well-deserved drink. I hadn't had one for several hours, so I think I was in need of a top up. There was one problem with this though, there were no Costa Coffee's close by and I had to settle for second best, which was Starbucks. Anyhow, with my drinks in hand, we went over to a bench and had a rest.

So, after I finished my drinks, we headed towards Kings Cross Station. We didn't need to rush because our journey was messed up by the train network, which meant we had five hours to waste, well I say five hours, well, it was more like three hours after all the arguing, but either way we had to find something to do. When we arrived at Kings Cross Station, Laura wanted to go over to Platform nine and three quarters because it was where one of the Harry Potter movies were filmed. I have never been a Harry Potter fan, maybe it is too complex for me, or maybe it isn't something that interests me, who knows?

While we were waiting, I felt my stomach twinge, it was having big spasms and it certainly wasn't shy about showing how bad the spasms were. When the spasms got worse, I had to rush to the toilet. Which wasn't such a task this time because I didn't have to pay to use them, normally it is 30p a time, but I was in luck, the change machines had broken which means the toilets have to be open without charge. I was sitting in the toilet for over thirty minutes trying to cure this pain, but it was having none of it.

Talking about these pains, I have to sign off now to take some medication. I will be telling this story in parts, so bare with me because it will get interesting!

### York Trip Part Two - 9 April 2013

What a terrible day! I have hardly slept all night, and when I did wake up I had more rubbish news to deal with. I don't know about you, but there are certain things that are getting on my wick lately, I wish I could share them in the blog, but I can't because it is personal and I don't want it out in the public domain. My depression has also been a pain in the backside. I end up blaming myself for everything, it seems stupid, but I do this all the time, and it will explain why I have to take strong pills for it.

Anyway, on to part two of the York trip. We were on the train heading towards York, I was so glad to be on the train, but then again, I wasn't looking forward to the numb bum it would give me, after all it was two hours sitting around.

So, after a long train journey, we arrived in York twenty minutes late. As I mentioned previously, I was in York meeting a group of friends that I have known for sometime, and a few of them are really close to me, two of those close friends are Carl and Steve. I have met Carl before, but it was my first time meeting Steve. This may seem weird, but I was so nervous about meeting Steve, I don't know why this happened, my legs went like jelly!

As we were walking along the platform, I was trying to see where Steve was because he was meeting me at one of the local Starbucks shops. Once I got over the bridge in the station, I looked over to my right and there was Steve, D & Carl (also other friends) sitting around a table at Starbucks, this was a massive delight to me because I was finally around my friends. When I reached the table, I was greeted by big hugs from Steve, D and Carl. I was lost for words, I don't know why, it was like someone took all my words and hid them under a carpet.

After the initial stunned silence, I started to relax and open up, it seems silly, I talk to Steve everyday over the computer, but for some reason I couldn't say anything. Anyhow, once we had our drinks, we headed towards our hotel.

Skipping ahead to the evening, sorry for doing this, but my memory is going haywire at the moment, those close friends will know why this is happening, but don't worry I will talk about other things another time when I feel with it, this will include the visit to the haunted house. The evening was upon us and we all went to a lovely restaurant. I didn't have anything to eat, but I did have plenty of tea to drink, even though I later regretted doing this. Once everyone was finished, we headed over to a local pub (public house).

When we got to the pub, the drinks started flowing and everyone sat around a table having a fantastic time together. After an hour went by, I started to feel very sick, and for some reason I started to feel faint. When this happened, Carl looked at me and said are you okay? I replied no, I am going to be sick, he noticed I was going pale. After this Steve asked the same thing, and I replied I need to get out of here. So, with that said, me and Steve headed outside. I felt like I could hardly walk, I had a massive shake going on because I was starting to get scared. Thanks to Steve, D and Carl for being there for me, they noticed how sick I was and helped me get back to my hotel room.

I have to cut the story here for now, I am starting to feel my depression kick my backside again, but oh well, I will be back tomorrow with more of the story.

### York Trip Part Three, and Funnies! - 11 April 2013

So, it turns out, I started writing yesterdays blog, but due to my depression and pains, I decided to step away from the computer because it was starting to tick me off. I couldn't think straight and life in general was starting to piss me off, and sorry for using that word, but oh well, this is my blog and not yours!

Anyway, where were we up to yesterday? If I remember correctly it was the end of Friday night. So, it was Saturday morning and I couldn't sleep. I had been up most of the night because of the sickness, oh and the pain, believe me the pain was kicking my backside!

I got out of bed at 7am, and headed out of the hotel to find a local Costa Coffee or Starbucks. I looked at my iPhone maps application to locate the local shops (it wasn't Apple Maps, couldn't risk getting lost), it turns out Starbucks was closer, this meant I had to put up with second best, yes second best, you read that correctly, don't judge me because I am a Costa Coffee Junkie! I swear, Costa Coffee need to sponsor me, I would drink there every day if they did, and no that isn't a joke! I must ask my receptionist to write them a letter, after all, if you don't ask, you don't know if they will or not. I am making myself laugh with that receptionist line, who would silly enough to put up with my craziness? I wonder if K will? Saying that just made me giggle, but as I always tell K, a man is only as good as the woman who leads him.

Somehow I went off track there. So, I found Starbucks and asked for my usual order, and of course you will know what that is, big drum roll... One hot chocolate and one tea, see it never changes does it? The funniest thing was, the woman behind the counter gave me a weird look, it was like she saw a zombie walk in the shop, I don't blame her really, I did look like death warmed up because of this cold.

So, with drinks in hand, I walked out of Starbucks and I headed back to the hotel. The walk was blissful, it was delightfully warm and peaceful. I was so relaxed, I took every step with smile on my face and the feeling of warmth running through every vain of my body. As I walked across the bridge near our hotel, I watched the sun slowly rise. The sky was blue and there wasn't a cloud to be seen, and as the sunlight slowly came across the lake below, you could see the buildings reflect softly into the ripples of the water.

When I got back to the hotel room, I noticed that Laura (sister) & David (Laura's partner) were still asleep, which was fine because it was only 8am, but I wasn't going to sit around in the dark waiting for them to get up. So, I finished up my drinks and headed out again with my DSLR camera. While the morning was blissful, I thought it would be a fantastic opportunity to take some pictures, well and I was also bored, which didn't help matters.

After thirty minutes of taking pictures, I headed back to the hotel in hope Laura & David would have been out of bed. I was totally wrong, they were still in bed, and I still had nothing to do. Laura heard me come through the door and she said we need to get some medicine for David because he wasn't feeling well. So, with that said, we both headed out to the local Tesco express store to pick up some painkillers. When we brought everything we needed we walked out of the shop, and as looked to my left, I noticed a Costa Coffee express. Well, from there my Costa senses were tingling, I couldn't resist, I had to have one! Okay, maybe I didn't, but I did anyway, it wasn't like I was going to turn down Costa Coffee!

So, with more drinks in hand, myself & Laura headed back to the hotel. When we got back, we found that David was waking up, which was good because he needed to be ready for the main gathering. I won't say much about the gathering, but I was meeting some other friends from social networks that I am on.

After ten minutes went by, I received a text from Carl saying he was in our hotel lobby. So, with that said, I went down to meet him. Carl seemed like he was in good spirits, which was fantastic because I was too. When I met up with him, I still holding my drinks, so we sat down in the lobby having a chat, while we were waiting for everyone else to get ready for breakfast. I didn't pay for breakfast in the hotel because I had my own yogurts, but this didn't stop everyone else offering to get me food while we were in the breakfast bar. I would have done the same thing to be honest, can't see friends go hungry.

So, to be brief, after a long game of hide-and-seek by Steve (yes Steve fouled us all), we all sat around a table in the breakfast bar. There was myself, Laura, Carl, Steve, Denise, Jo and Stevie sat around the table. We are a very close set of friends, and it was a pleasure to spend time eating breakfast together.

After everyone had finished breakfast, it was time for Carl to do the marmite challenge. This challenge is like a yearly tradition, all you have to do is take a spoonful of marmite and eat it without spitting any of it out or throwing up.

As Carl ate the marmite, you could tell by the expression on his face that he didn't enjoy it much. I am hoping they don't ask me to do it next year because I know it will make me throw up, or it will make me choke, which won't be good because it is all recorded.

I am going to stop the story here for now because I am starting to get very tired. I have been in such a happy mood today, let's hope this happy mood will be with me tomorrow.

### York Trip Part Four - 13 April 2013

Well, the April showers are finally here, it has been raining most of the day. According to the forecast, this weather is set to stay with us for the next month, so if you live in the United Kingdom, get your umbrellas out because we are expecting loads of duck weather!

Anyhow, back to the York trip. The day was Saturday, and the time was around 12:30pm. We were heading towards a fountain in the town centre because everyone was meeting there. Apart from the people I have already mentioned, there were only a few more that were coming to the gathering.

Once we arrived at the fountain, we all stood around waiting for everyone else to turn up. I was surprised to see that there was a good crowd of people already standing by the fountain, this was good because we didn't have long to wait. While everyone was waiting around, myself, Steve, Denise and Carl went across to the local market to have a look around.

After ten minutes of watching Steve trying on new hats, we all headed back to the main group at the fountain. When we were all at the fountain, we started heading towards a pub called the Black Swan, this is where everyone goes each year to have a meal together.

I am going to sum up the gathering because I am currently feeling unwell, and I need to get many things in this blog that I have missed out over the last few days. The meal at the Black Swan was fantastic, I didn't have anything from the pub to eat, but I did bring some tube yogurts with me to eat. After the meal, we all sat and listened to Andy, Kevin & Stevie play the guitar. They were fantastic, everyone was asking me to play the guitar too, but I felt a bit shy, well and other reasons, but I won't go into that. I ended up making up an excuse, but I knew everyone saw through that because each person has seen me play the guitar before. Anyhow, enough about that, I already feel guilty enough as it is.

The whole gathering was fantastic, I loved meeting everyone, and I hope that they all make next year's gathering. I must admit something, the trip to York went by very fast, I should have booked a week there, it would have been better for me because I spent most of the time feeling sick.

When Sunday came along, I felt very saddened because I had to go back home, and I also had to say goodbye to Steve, Denise and Carl. I always hate saying goodbye to close friends because it feels like I won't see them again, I know it seems very silly, but I am always like that with close friends.

Anyway, let's get back to reality. Over the last week I have been feeling very sick, for some reason I have been unable to shift this cold. I don't know why this won't go, I have been looking after myself, so I don't know what's causing this. Anyhow, I will have to ride the wave, if it doesn't go in a couple of weeks I will mention it to my doctor.

I think I will sign off now, but I will be back tomorrow with pictures from the York Gathering.

As you will see by the blog dates, I have been missing days out, this hasn't been done on purpose, it was more to do with this infection and the lack of energy that comes with it.

### Ninja Wasps, and York Pictures - 14 April 2013

Well, it looks like the weather has started to warm up. My day started out at 10am with a large cup of hot milk, I didn't feel like having something to eat because I felt unwell, and I also felt very heavy from the big dosages of medication I had yesterday.  Anyhow, after I had my drink, I decided to head out to the shops. I had to go over to McDonalds because I won a free cup of tea yesterday (again), the staff at that restaurant must think I drink tea by the gallons each day, this will be the second time this week that I have won a free cup of tea, oh well, I won't complain, it is free after all.

After a short trip around Tesco, I went across to McDonalds to pick up my free and McFlurry. When I go to McDonalds I always order the same thing, two teas and two caramel McFlurries. I only found out recently that I could have caramel sauce on my McFlurry, I was previously having them plain which got very boring after a while.

So, with my food in hand, I headed back home. While I was walking back, I was stunned by a wasp trying to get at my McFlurry, so, in pure ninja style I waved my hands to get it away, well and I also ran too, but oh well. I hate damn wasps, they are evil little things, no matter what happens, they just want to sting you for the hell of it.

I am having to cut the blog short, I have a lot to do, but don't worry, nothing I can't handle. I hope to hear from the mobile phone company tomorrow to sort out my no service problem. The last time I spoke with them, they said that higher management are very annoyed by the way I have been treated, and they were also disgusted by the way I have been spoken to by two managers, so lets hope they will sort out this problem quickly because I am starting to get annoyed.

Anyway, I am going to sign off now, but before I do, here are the pictures from York I promised.

### Choking Cough, and McFlurries - 16-17 April 2013

**16 April 2013:**

Choke, choke, choke, that's what I have had to put up with during the night. I don't know what's causing it, it's like my body wants to kill me in my sleep. As each hour went by, I was rudely woken up by a choking cough, it was happening every two hours and in the end I gave up trying to sleep because it was starting to annoy me.

Anyway, with a long day ahead, I stayed up and watched television. I had nothing else to do, I couldn't play the guitar because it was 4am and I don't think the neighbors would appreciate it, and I couldn't do writing either because my mind was all over the place due to my medication.

**17 April 2013:**

So, it turns out that I went on a downer after writing that last paragraph. I don't know what came over me, it was like someone took over my body. I ended up spending all yesterday wrapped up in bed, I couldn't be bothered facing the world. While I was in bed, I constantly thought silly things, blaming myself for things that weren't my fault. I even wrote a three page document about how I feel, I haven't read it back yet, but I do know I had a few swear words in it. I know I shouldn't blame myself, but I always worry, and I guess loneliness is getting the better of me.

Anyway, on to today. The day started out with a walk to McDonalds to get some McFlurries, I was in need of a real sugar boost. While I was walking down, I thought I would text Cassie (sister) to see if she was at home, she was home, so I decided to pick up the McFlurries first, and then I will walk over to Cassie's to eat them.

When I picked up the McFlurries, I put them down on the table to peel off the Monopoly stickers. As I pulled all four stickers off, I found that I had won a free big Mac meal and I also won a free cheeseburger, it has been a long time since I had won anything and I was surprised my luck was changing, but even though I won, I couldn't eat that kind of food anyway because I can't swallow it.

So, to be brief, I arrived at Cassie's and I sat down with my McFlurries & a cup of tea. While I was eating, I spotted Amber (niece) was eying up my ice-cream, so being the good uncle that I am, I decided to share it with her. This was a hilarious task because I was shaking like a leaf and the ice-cream was going all over Ambers face. Once she had the first taste of the ice-cream, she went nuts for more, all I could hear was Amber saying yum, yum, yum. After a couple of spoonfuls, I decided to let Cassie feed her some of the spare McFlurry I had. She didn't have all of it, but I think Amber had other ideas about that because she loved it. When she got to half way, we decided to stop because the chances are, she will throw it up later, and that's one thing we didn't want to happen.

Once Amber was finished with the ice-cream, she wanted to suck on my knuckle because she is teething. When she was gumming on my knuckle, I could feel the full force of her gums on my knuckle. I didn't mind because she is teething, but she certainly has a good chomp on those gums.

After thirty minutes went by, I decided to head home. I was starting to get hungry and I needed some painkillers. As I walked home, I was enjoying the peace, all the kids were in school, and for some reason there wasn't many people about, which made it extra peaceful.

So, to be brief, I got home and started writing the blog. I haven't done much of the blog recently, it isn't like I haven't had the time, I think my depression has been causing me some issues this week, but I think it will pass soon. I did have some good news today, I had my first revenue payment from my publisher, okay it wasn't much, but it was a start. I have been writing for over two years, it is about time I had some sort of payment after all this time.

Anyhow, on that positive note, I must sign off. I am starting to feel very tired, and I need to find something to eat, even though after four McFlurries earlier, I am starting to feel a bit sick.

### No Service? You're Paying! - 20 April 2013

**18 - 19 April 2013:**

Well, after a hectic few days, I am back and ready to do. Over the last day or so, I have been restoring my website because some lovely person decided to hack into it and cause me problems. This kind of thing happens from time to time, but I wasn't expecting it to happen to me. I was very annoyed when I found my site had been hacked, but in a way it was a wake up call because I can analyze logs that will help me prevent this from happening again. I don't know why they decided to pick my site as a target, it seemed very weird. I forgot to mention that Steve's site (The Wright Times) was taken down also by the same hacker. I won't mention how I fixed the sites or what I have done under the hood of the software, but I am hoping the extra work will prevent it from happening again. So, anyway, it was a challenge, but I got through it and it didn't take me long to get them back online, the only problem I did have was when I noticed the time, it was 3am when I finished and I wasn't happy!

I want to touch briefly on the mobile saga again, the updates are that they still haven't fixed the issue and their first line support are still unable to get me reconnected. When they rung on Wednesday they seemed very apologetic, but it still didn't stop them from trying to charge me for a service I can't receive. So, to be brief, in the end they gave in and said they would give 50% off, which I wasn't happy with because I shouldn't have to pay anything. Anyway, I was checking my bill today and it turns out they were trying to charge me an extra £40, for no reason, when I saw that I hit the roof. I wasn't prepared to pay them any money because I have no service, no one should be expected to pay anything hen it is the networks issue. When I rang them up to explain, they took on everything I said, but they were confused by what's happened because there were no extra charges, I mean how could you get charges on a mobile phone that is unable to connect to their service, I swear they make it all up as they go along. So, with that said, they credited me back the right amount to correct the bill and they also took more money off because it was their problem (yet again). I hope that their higher management ring me soon or else I will be starting legal proceedings against them for breaking their own contract terms, everyone has this legal right, so don't forget, if mobile companies screw you over, seek help from the right authorities because you signed a contract and this means that they have to keep to their word as well.

**20 April 2013:**

So, it turns out that the mobile company didn't deduct anything yesterday, and there were no notes left about the call I made. I was livid with them because I haven't had service for five weeks and they were expecting me to pay for it. I think they have lost the plot, I will not be paying for my service until it is working, they are breaking their own terms and conditions as it is. I will be on the phone to their regulator on Monday because this is utterly ridicules. Anyway, I will discuss this further on Monday.

Today has been a very relaxed day, even though I have had pains through my shoulder, but it hasn't dampened my spirits. I have been in a funny mood since last night, I kept on sending jokes to K, she must think I am nuts because I laughed my head off at each joke, I must have a very weird sense of humor, but oh well that must mean I am unique. This good mood has been funny to say the least, I don't know why it makes me very happy and weird, but it doesn't matter, it is better than being deeply depressed and sad.

Anyhow, the rest of my afternoon has been spent shopping and going to McDonalds for some more McFlurries, and yes I am aware that I eat them too much, but they are tasty. I will challenge you all to try them, walk into your local McDonalds and ask them for a Cadbury Cream Egg McFlurry without the chocolate topping, you will thank me afterwards, but beware, don't have more than two because you will start feeling sick, I have done this and it does upset your stomach. When I had three today, it started making me feel sick, but I think that's because I haven't had anything proper to eat all day.

When the evening was upon us, I decided to have the noodles I brought from Tesco's earlier. I wasn't very hungry, but I needed to eat something more than ice-cream and yogurts. So, with that said, mum prepared my noodles for me because I wasn't able to due to my shoulder pains. I don't know why my shoulder is like this at times, but I guess it is one of these things I have to put up with. Anyhow, to be brief, the noodles were really nice, and I know feel very stuffed! I am currently writing the blog and I feel like I want to sleep, it seems crazy all this tiredness. I had a good sleep last night, well apart from I woke up at 5am needing the toilet (I know too much information).

I can't wait for bedtime to roll along, my head will hit that pillow and I will be knocked out. I must remember to take my tablets tonight, it might help with the pain I wake up with. I know this will sound bad, but I haven't been taking my tablets how I am supposed to because I have been feeling bad with depression, I end up thinking screw it because I can't be bothered to move.

Anyway, on that note, it is time to sign off. Let's hope that things start going in the right direction because I have had enough of all these issues.

**You're a Nutter, Lovely Meal - 21 April 2013**

I am guessing it is going to be a long day, it is now 12:11am and I am wide awake watching the webcams at the haunted house in York that I went to recently. I can certainly say that was an interesting experience, but I will tell you about that at a later date because I want to dedicate a whole blog to it.

Anyway, as I was saying. The time is certainly getting on here and it seems like the weather is getting colder again. I don't know why it is getting cold, we had beautiful hot sunshine earlier, it was so hot that I could walk around with my top off, glad the neighbors didn't see because they would have got a shock! I mean walking around with no boxers on is enough to scare anyone, I bet your all thinking you dirty bugger, don't worry I didn't do it really, but wouldn't it be hilarious if I did? Okay, you all have mental image didn't need, job done! Now, look what I have done! I have scared you for life, oh well, at least I will be in your thoughts, just promise me one thing though, no stalkers!

So, it turns out that I get very funny when I get tired. As I look back at what I just wrote, I am thinking are you nuts? The short answer to that is yes, but in my own defense, crazy is the new normal, it makes life more fun, don't you agree? I bet you all just answered no to that question, and I even bet some of you rolled your eyes in disgust and called me an idiot.

I have just realized something funny, it feels like I am having a conversation with someone, but I am on my own in the dinning room, how weird is that? I think this is a sign, and it says you're a complete nutcase. I once passed a sign on the motorway saying nutcase's this way, I just thought it was the chocolate factory, but I guess I was the nut they were looking for. Anyway, before I get myself in trouble, I am off to sleep, well try to at least.

After many went by, I finally had some sleep, okay it was at 7am, but at least I had some sleep. Anyway, today was reasonably hot, I regret wearing my coat because I was sweating like a pig. I won't complain though because it means more warmer days are ahead, and it also means we will get a hotter summer.

I am going to skip ahead a few hours, you will understand why I want to do this later. We all went to my sisters (Cassie) for dinner today, it was a lovely meal, I certainly enjoyed it. My sister made sausage casserole, mash, vegetables, and for afters we had chocolate cake & cream. I ate everything, including extra's. I am beyond stuffed, I had a McFlurry after we left my sisters, and I regret eating it because I feel stuffed & sick!

Anyway guys & gals, I am going to sign off now, I am beyond stuffed and I feel like I am going to throw up.

### I tried, and choked! - 24 April 2013

Well, this blog was meant to be written yesterday, but due to some events that happened I was unable to bring myself to write anything. I was out with K yesterday, we were going to see a film at the cinema and we were also going to have a meal together (which went down the pain, I will explain later).

Anyhow, the day started out sunny, and it also started out with a well-deserved Costa Coffee. I hadn't had a Costa Coffee for a few weeks, so I think it was well deserved, and on a serious note, I think I was getting withdrawal symptoms (no joke, I need that boost from time-to-time). I didn't get two drinks this time instead, I only brought one hot chocolate, but it was a large so it was like two drinks, but in one cup.

I had some extra time to kill because I was waiting for K to arrive. So, with that said, I headed over to the local Asda store to pick up a nasal inhaler because I could feel my sinuses were blocking up and I didn't want it to mess up our day together. So, anyway, back to the Asda store. When I was browsing the items I noticed that Maltesers were on offer, these are one of things I know K enjoys, so I thought why not, she will enjoy them.

So, with those in hand, I headed over to the railway station to wait for K to arrive. After an hour of waiting, K turned up and we headed towards the bus station to get a bus to the cinema. The buses seemed to be all over the place, both myself and K were getting confused over the timetable, it didn't help that the map application decided to tell us the wrong information. Anyway, after all the confusion, we were finally on the right bus and we were heading towards the cinema. During our bus ride both myself and K were talking about all different things, which was great because I always love our chats.

After a short trip, we were finally off the bus and heading towards the cinema. The day was certainly getting hot at this point, stupidly I was wearing my black coat which made me feel much hotter. I know, such a stupid idea wearing black in warm weather. So, anyway, we were standing in the cinema trying to decide what movie to watch, I left this choice down to K because I didn't know what movies were out (she knows more than me). This time round, we didn't have one of our funny arguments because I said you can choose, I don't mind what we watch. In the end K decided on a film called Identity Theft, which I must admit, it was an awesome film.

So, we had an hour to kill before the movie started, which was good timing because I was in need of a drink and something to eat. We headed over to McDonalds to grab something quick, I only had a McFlurry and a cup of tea which was nice. I didn't want to have too much because I knew we were going out for a meal after the film. While were eating, I remembered that I brought a signed copy of my book for K, she seemed very pleased with the book, which was the most important thing. I did also leave her a personal message in the book for her, this is what I do for all my signings because it helps the reader feel more connected with the author, but when it's for-close friends like K, I always leave a message that says how much they mean to me, I know my friends are there for me, but I always like to say how much they Mean to me.

Skipping ahead to after the movie. As I mentioned before, the movie was awesome, but for some reason I can't remember most of it, maybe I am in still in shock after what happened yesterday. When we were having our meal, I started to choke badly on the medicine and tea I had, as I was choking I was struggling to breathe and I started to have a major panic. I haven't choked like this for many years, well I don't think have throughout the whole time I have had my eating disorder which must be around ten years. So, as I was sitting there choking, I didn't know what to do, K quickly jumped up to give me some help, she gradually rubbed my back to help, and out of nowhere I coughed up all my drink, I also ended up spitting most of the noodles out also, which wasn't something I wanted K to see because it was disgusting, but it couldn't be helped, I was choking to death after all. Anyway, after that, I went into a fit of panic, I ended up drinking two pots of tea in a short space of time because I felt like I was still choking. I kept on asking K, do I look okay? She was constantly reassuring me that I was fine, but I am guessing the panic took over me.

I want to personally thank K for saving my life yesterday, I know I probably scared her, but I honestly didn't mean too. I just wanted to have a nice meal with her because I treasure our friendship, and she has also been one person that has helped me through some of my hard times in recent weeks. So, K, from the bottom of my heart I do thank you, I won't forget this ever and I will always be there if you need me too. I also hope I didn't scare you too much.

After this terrifying moment, we decided to head back because I was still having a panic attack. We were supposed to get a bus, but in the end we decided to walk because the bus would take ages to arrive. I nearly got us lost while walking back because the map application I used on my phone was playing up and I wasn't in the mood, in the end I decided to call a taxi, it was much easier and it saved us a bit of time. When we arrived into the town, we went across to see if Costa Coffee was open, but on this occasion it wasn't because they closed before we arrived in town.

So, in the end, we decided that it was time to head home. I never like saying goodbyes, and after what happened I felt like I messed up the day completely. When K went home her train, I waited in the station for my time to arrive. As I was waiting, I sat on a bench in tears because I felt like I messed everything up, including our friendship, I know this might sound stupid, but it did shock me in that way, and even when I think about it now, I still think I have messed up our friendship. Anyhow, with that said, even though this did happen, I still enjoyed our day together.

I think it's going to take sometime to get over this, and this is why I have decided to stop writing & blogging until the start of June. This means that the spring series book comes to end today and I will be back at the start of June writing the new series. I am sorry if this has disappointed anyone, but due to the circumstances surrounding my eating disorder, I don't want it to go back to how it was because I was doing really well. So, until June, catch you soon!

Marc.

### About Marc, and Social Links

Marc published his first book in October 2011, he just wanted to give it a try just to see if anyone would read it. After 3500 downloads through a kindle promotion, inspired him to write more books.

The latest book he wrote was called "Habit, Kicks and Laughter." Initially this book wasn't going to be released, but after showing a few people, it was clear by their great feedback that they loved it.

Marc, who suffers from cerebral palsy always tries to make the best of his condition. Every day is an uphill struggle, but he smiles through the pain to try to help others. Even though Marc struggles with his learning disability he still tries to write a lot and even if he makes mistakes he has great support on hand from his friends and family who proof-read many of Marc's publications.

**Social Links:**

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/MarcCornBooks

Instagram: http://Instagram.com/VlogWithSid

Twitter: http://twitter.com/MarcSnappy

