It's gon' be good. (zombie noises in the background)
Yeah.
(Markiplier funky dance move noises)
Hello everybody. My name is Markiplier,
And welcome to Zombie Skill Trainer.
Now, this is a game for the Vive
where you SHOOT ZOMBIES!
(Unintelligible Markimoo noises)
What do ya want: a song and dance number? That's all the game is! I don't know . . .
Okay. Let's get this on.
Let's get this going.
Now,
Zombie - ohhh. Zombie Training Simulator.
That makes more sense than the words that I said.
Okay.
So, I been playing it
'Cuz it's fuun.
And I'm going to show you
What to dooo
In the skills test. Now,
In the skills test,
I've been doin' pretty good.
I'm going to show you the Crow's Foot, which is the only one that I've done.
Can that SHUT UP!
(Intense music)
(Pleasant music)
(No music)
There we go! Some goddamn peace and quiet.
Sometimes music isn't the best
Sometimes it's nice just to relax a little bit.
Now I'm going to put this down,
'Cuz I don't need it,
I only need me and ma skillz
You ready?!
3-2-1
HA!
Ah- dammit. Missed that last one.
So now as you can see,
My score-
My high score anyways-
0.993
Now I don't know why I'm talkin' in a Southern accent (Don't you?)
Blabuh!
I missed on purpose. (Sure Mark)
Blah!
Blah! Bleh! Bleh! Bleah!
Anyway,
I'm gonna put the strap on, because it's probably not good if I-
Fling this, willy-nilly. But-
Blah! Bleh! Blah!
Dammit.
A'right.
Well, I can do this a little better.
Alright.
Na- you-s-er- I'd be better off if I just hit it on the first try,
On that last one there, but-
Fahk!
Uh, ah- I don't know, what am gonna do! I'm so scared!
Oh God, I'm so scared!
Eh!
Got him.
Wonder wha' happens f'i
Wha-
What happens if I just throw my gun at him?
Oh God dammit
AAAAHHH!
Everything is hooorible!
Dammit-
I just gotta get it on the first try.
S'hard.
Fahk!
Oh, you old bastard.
Shut up.
eh
Eh
eah
eh.
I cAn'T hIt HiM- I cAn'T dO iT!
I can't do it!
Oh whoops.
Sorry! (not sorry)
Okay.
A'right.
OOAHHH! YES!
NEw record!
Okay, so this is the quick-draw basically. You gotta-
It's called the Crow's Foot because one back there, three over there.
It's like a crow's foot up in here.
AAAHH! (Don't hurt yourself)
Ow.
So, there's records for certain guns,.
These pistols are the ones that I had in the beginning.
I should set that where I'm not going to forget it.
AH! It's through the floor!
And just it's the same thing.
'Cept if ya hit it,
When you're s'posed to hit it.
OOOOOOOOO!
YEAAAAH!
New record on that one too; I'm global rank 25.
Boink.
Ha-boink.
Ha-boink!
Eegghhhhhhhhhhh-
BOINK!
Okay.
Got that guy good.
I diiid it.
Okay.
So,
This is all this game is,
And the only other game I got-
Oo, a shotgun.
Well, I don't know how this is gonna work.
HUH
Well, about that- Okay.
Oh!
OOOOOGHHH!
Another rank up for Markimoo-
I'm the best. Okay.
So that is that
I haven't done it with this yet.
Same as the other one.
HOW'D I DO? HOW'D I DO, BOSS?
OOOOOO!
Ain't that good?!
Woo!
A'right, whatever, it's not- it's not worth trying this one because-
Ohp
Yeah
S'not worth getting this one
Because I did good with the other ones
But anyway, that's only-
That's only a little bit of what I wanted to show you guys.
Get-
Get back to the safehouse,
Where it's safe
From these zombies.
Boink
Bink
Bonk
Okay, so the real game
Comes in on survival,
And survival
Has these various levels:
Ghost Town to Sky Hole.
And I'm gonna try The Forest
Because I've been doing Ghost Town;
It's a little bland, little boring.
And this looks a little more
(Little breath)
INTeresting to me.
And EVENTUALLY I'm gonna unlock these
Other weapons that are going to be super co- Hello.
Can I have my speech first? (I don't know. Can you?)
PLEase and thank you.
Uughh kay.
A'right so this is where I need the other one.
Because
This is where things are going to get a little dicey.
I've never done it with this before.
Uuhmm
So I guess let's get to it.
What is this gonna do for me?
Haa!
Eh
WHOAA
Why did that blow up?
I had no idea
Those things were so dangerous.
eh
Eh
eah
eh
Okay, so,
Obviously, survival is just
They come at you, you kill them
Whatever, what have you
Boring
Boring
Boring (So you take it out on the wall?)
But it doesn't get boring
Because then a giant horde of them
Appears from beyond the horizon
Boink
Boink
HEEYYY!
Welcome to the PARTY!
Whoops
I- Sorry about the sissy throw.
I meant that to be a little more manly.
Well don't even think about it.
Don-don-don'cha even think about it, bro.
What'cha gonna do?
Huh?
Blah blah
Blah!
I hold a shotgun like this.
This proves how strong I am.
Blah
Blah!
Blaoh!
And how badass and gangster-ish I be.
Also, uh-
You may notice that I'm not wearing
My jeans and my shirt
Because
I've forgone
(Strangled laugh/breath)
Looking good for the sake of being comfortable.
But then you can see these
GAINS, BRUH.
Who wouldn't want to see these
GAINS
G-GAINS
AAGHH
They're on the hill.
They's a comin'.
Oh shit, that actually is kinda scary.
I mean, not right now,
But I just have a funny feeling
That they're all going to be on my ass in no time.
Blah
Blah!
BLAH!
Blaoh!
Blah bleh blaeh bleah bla ble blaah bleeh bleh blah
Blam
Blam
Blam blam blam blam
Whoa, hello.
Hi!
Oh, okay. I guess I can't pick that up.
Boing boing boing
Bing bong bing bong bing bong bing bong bing bong bing
Okay
Got that.
Hey get a little closer, buddies.
I need to see you here, not there.
Fiiine. What a bunch of dillweeds.
Gah- asshole.
Boink, boink.
Yeah, I get it.
You're dead.
A'right, so the basic point is that
You throw these meat out
And they're attracted to the meats.
So basically,
That sets up trap areas
So that they only go there
And not eating my face off,
Which is really what I don't want in
My life right now.
It is
mmmbb
BAAaad
For me.
That's a lot of 'em-
But watch THIS!
That was actually a good throw.
I am vastly impressed with myself.
That was astonishingly good.
Ya think that they would send more after me.
I mean, I don't know if-
Who's
Organizing- If the Zombie Union is here.
Habuh
Habuh!
Ah, habuuuh
Nope nope nope
Nope
nope
Nope!
NOPE
Nope! nope nope nope nope nope nope nope
No noh nouh no NO nO NoH no NO
NuOH
That's my steak.
I'm gonna cook it for dinner later,
Don't you even try to steal it from ME.
Ha uhh.
(Markiplier funky singing noises)
Uh oh.
They don't seem to be after ma meat.
Uh oh there's the crowd.
A'right, come at me bros.
Come at meEEE.
Come on!
Kill me!
I'm here!
I'm right here, you floating, bodiless zombies!
Oh, hello.
Where'd you guys come from?
Now you-
This is why I got extras.
So I can have extras.
'Cuz they're busy with that one,
And they're gonna be done
Fairly soon.
Like right about now.
Funk Soul Brother!
Heuh!
Habuh!
I was gonna do that in mid-air,
And it was gonna be super sweet,
But then it didn't happen.
So . . . not my fault.
Hauh.
Ah!
Ah!
Ow OW ow oW OW Ow ow
Yow!
YOW YOw Yow yow yow
yowyowyow
yo-duh
Beh-ba-bup
Beh beh beh da boop boop
Ha-bluhhuhhhuh
Ba ba ba ba ba beh
And you get double points
For getting multiple kills in a row, so-
Seems like this weapon is actually
Quite good at doing the thing that that is.
UHOH
Are they going for the steak or they going for me?
Hard to tell sometimes.
Ha!
Oh NOoOooOoo
Look out!
It's gonna blow!
Oh, I tried to warn the sorry souls.
I doesn't even seem that if it
Matters me aiming or not because
It seems like they're just gonna
Be hit by it, no matter what.
It's a great, sweeping
Shotgun-like device.
AAAHH!
That's a shotgun!
Ohm my God
They ASS-ploded!
They sometimes like to push the meat,
The greedy bastards.
Auh
G-get some
FIREBALL!
BAUH!
Oh, that was f-There we go!
Some more
FIREBAL-
Uh, uh-
BAAM!
That didn't get really anybody,
But it doesn't matter.
Goodbye!
I guess they're running off into the woods now.
Ohhh noo
He's so dumb!
AAGH!
Got ya!
Oh, tricked you.
Ya thought you were gonna get a free meal.
But you got a free meal of-
Of LEAD!
Whoa whoa whoa eh juh shit
Whoa shit bro
Shit, get off
Get off, get off, get off, get off, get off
Whoa
Whoa-kay
Oh, ohp
Some of them want me.
Some of them want me!
Whoa, SOME OF THEM WANT ME!
Good thing I do a little bit of melee.
Okay.
Gotta start blastin' 'em.
Gotta start blastin' 'em!
GOTTA BLAST!
GOTTA
Bbbbb
Blll-
They're not going for it.
Oo, hello.
Oh, you're going for that.
Good.
Good, because I was going to blast all over ya.
Alright!
DID IT!
YEAH!
Who's the victory man?
Uh me. Is it me?
Might be me.
Ya think it's MEEEE.
See, it-it's better to shoot them when they're all in a line.
In case that wasn't obvious
To everybody but the youngest people watching.
(Garbled togetherness)
Blow 'em up
Together!
TOGETHER!
Boink
Okay
Did I dooos it.
Uh oh.
Who's left?
Aaahhh.
That's slightly terrifyin-
Oh, hey, how's it going.
I thought there was going to be some big giant zombie
Peering out from over the rocks over there.
You guys just made it easy on me.
A'right!
Bring 'em on!!
Oh boy
Seems like they're all getting really close to me
And then detouring immediately.
Whoa, you're not.
You're not.
You're not!
Whoa!
Oh God dammit.
That was mildly terrifying.
He came up right on my ass.
WHOA!
Number 19, baby!
Number 19.
Fahk you, I'm not doing that again.
Fuck that! Okay, where am I?
Good! I was still on camera.
That's a success in my book.
So this game is really fun.
I've obviously been playing it for awhile
'Cuz just my face is sweaty.
Ah!
I probably got huge red marks everywhere, but-
Thank you everybody so much for watching!
There's always more
Virtual reality games coming out
In the near future,
So let me know which ones you want me- play!
And which ones you would like to see!
And thank you again everybody for watching.
Oh, also!
Before I go-
Lemme-let me show you this thing.
While I was in New York,
Uh, we had a competition
Tooo
Make tacos for Rachel Ray.
I dunno why, but she was there,
And we had a little taco competition.
And
I was in charge of making the cocktails,
So I was making a margarita,
And our team won best cocktail!
So how 'bout that.
The whole team let me take the trophy comb-
Home.
Uh, but it was a team effort because
They sang about it.
So, I can't remember exactly who was on the team,
But thank you everybody for joining me.
And thank you everybody for making me win!
This is the greatest conversational piece
Anyone could ever have
Because I took it to the after party and everyone was very curious.
So thank you again everybody so much for watching,
And as always, I will see you
In the next video.
Buh-bye!
(Funky Markiplier dance moves)
(Aw yeah)
(Ya know, doing these subtitles made me realize something.)
(It takes a lot of effort to produce these videos, however short they appear to be.)
(So like this video for the goof and his friends that made it.)
(They deserve it. ;)
(Peace out.)
