 
LET'S MAKE LOVE

...Through an understanding of spirituality

James R. Bell, M.D.

Copyright 2017 James R. Bell, M.D.

Smashwords Edition

## TABLE OF CONTENTS

## Table of Contents

## Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

PROLOGUE

SPIRITUALITY 101

MY APPROACH TO MY PATIENTS

ESSAYS

TRIBES

LOVE

LOVE OF SELF

FEAR

SOUL

ONENESS

NOW

ENERGY FLOW

TRUTH

STEWARDSHIP

TRANSPARENCY

EGO

GUILT

ANXIETY

FORGIVENESS

HEARTMATH

TEEN YEARS

"I CAN'T"

WHY ARE WE HERE?

BIBLIOGRAPHY

OTHER RECOMMENDED READING

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

# INTRODUCTION

This work has arisen as a result of so many of my patients being open to consciously trying and incorporating Spirituality in their lives. I have been amazed by the number of people who have expressed that they were spiritually hungry, yet feel they were not being fed. It is not meant to cast any dispersion on the many who feel fulfilled by their religious belief systems. Indeed, the vast majority may well feel spiritually fulfilled by their "conventional" religious beliefs. Yet even many of them have remarked that considering these concepts has been beneficial, providing a fresh insight into their relationship with a higher power.

These writings contain my thoughts and interpretations of the subjects. They are not meant to dictate or even attempt to convince how anyone else should think or believe, and they might or might not influence the reader's thoughts. I simply want to share. I offer them "from the heart" and wish to offend no one. They are not, to me, to be viewed as sources of argumentative disagreement.

I use the terms God, Creator, She, or He to denote God and I consider all to be interchangeable.

The essays contain some repetition of concepts. This is due to overlap of those concepts among the subjects and also my desire to emphasize what I regard as important points.

The format I have chosen employs two parts: The first, Spirituality 101, describes Spirituality as I explain it to my clients and includes examples of how I apply Spirituality in diagnosing and treating. The second comprises individual essays, some of which amplify subjects covered in the Prologue.

#  Acknowledgments

I am deeply indebted to my editor, Nancy McClimen, for her valuable contributions; to my wife, Barbara, for her loving support; and finally to my many patients, who have provided the purpose for this work.

# PROLOGUE

Public interest in the subject of Spirituality appears to be growing rapidly. Books such as Conversations with God (Neale Donald Walsch), How To Know God (Deepak Chopra), Excuse Me, Your Life Is Waiting, (Lynn Grabhorn), and There's a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem (Wayne Dyer) are being talked about, featured on TV (especially on public stations), and purchased in ever-growing numbers. Reasons for this might range from mere curiosity to a feeling of deep need.

I have found that Spirituality is perhaps the greatest tool at my disposal in my present vocation, and the purpose of this work is to present my interpretation of some of its concepts. I hope to reach more people via the written word than is possible meeting with patients individually in an office setting. I realize and respect the fact that what I present will not resonate with all. If your belief system, whatever it is, works for you, don't fix what isn't broken. You might, however, want to consider these ideas as an augmentation. Or, if your belief system isn't fulfilling for you, this might be an alternative.

I am a semiretired physician with 50-plus years of traditional general/family practice experience. I retired in 2000 at the age of 65 with the intent of retiring to the task/opportunity of suggesting to my colleagues that they incorporate Spirituality in their patient interactions. This would involve taking a spiritual history from their patients at appropriate times and using the patients' belief systems in their medical care. I believe this is already increasingly being done, and for that I feel very encouraged.

Reflecting on the last 15 years or so of my practice, I realized that in addition to using my patients' belief systems in their medical care, I had been using MY spiritual belief system in the way I treated them. Rather than infringing on a patient's own belief system, I shared Spirituality concepts that complemented it, and I was amazed at how much patients felt helped by this approach, compared to the usual methods I had incorporated. As a result, I decided to focus on counseling using Spirituality as a base.

I want to emphasize that what you will read here is my interpretation of some Spiritual concepts. There is nothing new about the Spirituality or the concepts, but each of us interprets and implements them individually.

What has surprised me so very much is the number of my patients who aren't happy with or fulfilled by their belief systems—a situation near and dear to my personal history. Commonly, a religion has been introduced early into their lives, and their parents and/or forefathers have in many cases been extremely zealous about how they believe that religion should play out in the patient's life. This essentially means that it is forced upon them, in many cases becoming a bitter pill they can't swallow.

At this point I want to note the difference between Spirituality and religion. The former embraces the idea that each of us has an individual relationship with a higher power. Religion essentially involves a group of people coming together and forming an organization with a creed or common belief system. To belong, members must agree to follow the dictates of that system, adhering to certain requirements. This means that the religion defines what is "right" or "wrong."

Although the majority of people belong to a religious group, many of my patients tell me (without a prompt) that they are really not fulfilled by what their religions have told them they must believe. I approach these people by sharing some Spirituality, being very vocal that I do not have an agenda, that I am not trying to tell them how or what to believe, and that if what I say in any way offends them or doesn't agree with their philosophy of life they can put up a finger (I usually say, "any finger":), and I'll gladly say no more. Or I tell them if they are curious and want to listen but can't use what I've shared, they can just throw it in the "round file." I agree with Dr. Wayne Dyer that there is a spiritual solution to every problem. In fact, his book/audio tape set is one of the first resources I suggest to many of my patients. Dr. Dyer and the other authors I have mentioned, plus Carolyn Myss, Joan Borysenko, Eckhart Tolle, and many others, I believe, agree with the general philosophy of what I am finally going to present to you now. This is what I share with my patients who are unfulfilled in their belief systems and with those who are simply curious.

ADDENDUM FEB 2017: I am no longer scheduling or seeing patients in any capacity. But I offer this information for anyone to read because I have been told that it was helpful to many.

# SPIRITUALITY 101

## God the Creator

I believe in a Supreme Being. I call that being God, and because of inertia in my upbringing, will usually refer to God in the male gender, although God has no gender. This God has created everything in existence. As Creator, He knows all there is to know about everything. And He is "in," actually, is, everything—all at the same "time." He is in every subatomic particle, every molecule of air, all particles in space, all of the "in between" in space, in all parts of our sun, other galaxies, and each molecule of a leaf or blade of grass. Stepping back to a larger view, He is the most majestic tree one can visualize. He is every leaf of every tree, and every grain of sand on every beach. There is no place God isn't. And that includes within you and me. With all these attributes there is nothing that God needs. So why the physical universe, and why you or me? The answer is that God desires to experience everything He knows. And that apparently can't be done where God actually resides—a place called the Absolute.

What's the Absolute? It's an awesome state of existence wherein every possible answer to any possible question already exists—and more. There's no question that needs to be asked, for the answer already exists. This is difficult for our limited human minds to grasp, but that's at least part of what the Absolute "is." Throw into this that in our universe there is actually no such thing as time, and it gets even harder to understand. At any rate, God's existence in the Absolute prevents Him from "experiencing." To be in the Absolute requires that He be simultaneously everywhere and everything. On the other hand, experiencing requires a linear path, starting from somewhere then making a choice and proceeding to the next place, etc. To say there is a place where God is logically means there must be a place where He isn't, and that can't occur in the Absolute. So God decides to create the physical universe. Here he can actually be each and every little particle or non-particle, and He can experience linearity as and with each one. He creates and is a part of (or IS, more accurately) a flower, a monkey, a tree, a snowflake, and everything else known and unknown to us.

## Humankind

One of God's creations is humanity, and He gives each of us three parts: a soul, a mind, and a body. Science has been telling us for some time that everything consists of energy. Each form of energy has a different vibration rate or frequency. The desk where I am sitting has a very low frequency. My body parts have higher frequencies. Our thoughts have different frequencies, which vary depending on whether they are "positive" or "negative," as do emotions. God, at the ethereal level, has the highest frequency in existence.

In the creation of humans, God shares a bit of that ethereal energy with each of us, and we call that "soul." From God's standpoint, the purpose of this soul is to "learn" or evolve through various experiences. Before Soul joins with body and mind, it has an agenda associated with what it desires to "learn" in this particular lifetime (incarnation). Regarding humanity, God desires to experience the entire spectrum of what humans create as our reality. God therefore allows Soul to choose the general type of experience to be shared with mind and body in a particular incarnation. So if, for instance, Soul desires to experience forgiveness in this incarnation, it chooses a mind-body and general environment where this will be possible.

When a human dies, the body and to some extent the mind, change energy forms ("die"), but the soul doesn't (it never "dies"). Instead it is given the opportunity to review the immediate past human experience and decide whether it truly did achieve what it came for or whether it chooses to enter another body-mind for yet more experiences. Yes, this is reincarnation. How many human experiences will it take to successfully experience forgiveness (or integrity, or many other desires of the soul)? Usually many, perhaps sometimes only a few. At any rate, from the Spiritual standpoint, the soul provides the paint, brush, and canvas for the human, whose mind and body actually paints the picture.

From the human standpoint, Soul exists to provide opportunities. I used to think that I became a physician because I was intelligent enough to get certain grades, pass tests, be competitive, etc. Actually, being a physician was one way that Soul could accomplish its experiential choice during this incarnation, so Soul gave me opportunities that allowed me to become a physician. Soul might well have been able to accomplish the same goal if I were in some other line of (human) work, and might well have given me other choices along the way. I was not predestined to be matched with a specific vocation. But because I felt (gut feeling) "right" about choosing medicine, Soul was communicating that this was compatible with its experiential desires. And there are no accidents. Each opportunity I recognize (and some that I don't) is presented for a purpose, even if I don't understand the reason for it at the time. Soul, then, provides the many possible doors through which I can walk each day or week; my mind sorts through the possibilities and chooses which I'll walk through; my body does the walking.

## Caveats for the Human Condition

This Spirituality has some ground rules:

First, each of us is an elective creation. God doesn't need anything but does desire to experience through each of us. That is the reason we are here.

Second, everything God creates is a miracle that is perfect for the situation at hand. That makes each of us an electively created miracle. So my (individual) most heartfelt prayer can be "Thank you, God, for the miracle of me. You didn't have to create me, but you did. Thank you for the privilege of life." Please understand that this is not said from an egotistical standpoint. It is a spiritually thankful statement of fact.

Third, each human is unique. Each set of eyes, sense of smell, and sense of touch differs from everyone else's to some degree. I say to my patient that if we were to sit side by side and look at the blue sky and describe what it means, and if I gave the first description, within 15 seconds or so, (s)he would think, "In the first place, he got the hue wrong; further, all the things he says the sky means to him I've never even considered." To me, the greatest gift I can give to any fellow human is to share my totally transparent truth. That's part of my human mission. Individuals and nations are arguing about what color the sky is, implying that there is a right and wrong answer. If I can allow my spirituality to come through, I can understand that I can love you enough to share my interpretation of sky and thus share my experiences, and you can love me enough to do the same. This becomes a win-win—or wow-wow—for both of us. And no one is right or wrong. There is no "right" or "wrong"—only my truth and your (different but equally valid) truth. (More about truth in a bit.)

Fourth, God loves each of us unconditionally—no matter what we have done, are doing, or will ever do. He loves Bin Laden, Hitler, Jesus, the Buddha, you, and me. (Don't get offended and throw this down—hang on, and I'll explain.) This is not to say that there are not consequences for every choice we make. The fact that we are given choices at all is a gift from Soul. God desires to experience every aspect of what He knows. This includes what we humans regard as "good" as well as "bad." Each choice has a consequence. If I choose to murder other humans, chances are they will kill me—or in some other way treat me negatively. I will reap what I sow. A corollary of this is that there isn't spiritually a "right" or "wrong." There is, rather, what works ( for me (individually or for all collectively) or what does not work. However, if I do choose to kill others, God loves me no less than those who have chosen not to murder. Recalling reincarnation, I've been here before in many roles and will be back in many more. I am truly a Spirit (soul) having a human experience, not the other way around. And who I truly am (Spirit) cannot die. This is built in.

Fifth, there is only one creation over which I have true stewardship: That creation is me. I don't own anything; God owns everything as the Creator of all. I have the temporary privilege of rearing my children and helping them to shape their truth; same with associating with my spouse, classmates, fellow workers, students, etc. But these will each define their own transparent truth in their own independent manner, and that will in some ways differ from my truth. That's the way it's meant to be, and vive la différence.

Sixth, what I am actually doing as a human is processing energy. It flows through me in various ways, entering into me from the universe. I process it using my truth and put out the processed product as my modification with three tools of creation: thought, work, and action. The greatest of these is thought, as it is the necessary forerunner of the other two. If I think of something with passion for a certain length of time, it will (at some time, if it doesn't interfere with the general well-being of the universe) become reality. I know this raises all kinds of questions about rapes, murders, abortions, and other horrible events. Consider that because God wants to experience all of humanity, these are actually parts of what we humans have chosen to create. God didn't create these situations. She gave us free will and we chose to create them. We must take responsibility for these acts and not blame them on God or complain because God allowed us to have free choice in our co-creations. And if, for instance, my soul chooses to experience forgiveness in this lifetime, some pretty undesirable human occurrences might be required to accomplish this. Again, though, God experiences everything we experience through our creations—including many sorrows and much agony.

So, summing up from the spiritual standpoint, God created me so that God could experience humanity through me, and He desires that I do it my way. He is with me at all times—there is no way this cannot be true. He loves me unconditionally, and I will exist as this human being until my soul has accomplished as much of what it came for as possible. Then, at a young or old or in-between age, my body, and possibly part of my mind will "die." My soul will move on.

## Tribes

Okay, so now I am born. Enter the tribes, which are groups of fellow humans with whom I will be associated during my human experience. At the time of birth, a great dichotomy exists: I am simultaneously the most free I'll ever be on Earth and at the same time the most dependent. As a baby I am fragile; I need careful attention to warmth, food, rest. But at the same time I couldn't care less whether I have clothes on. I pee when I need to pee, grunt when I need to grunt, sleep when I need to sleep.

Tribes immediately start to dictate: "You will think this way about your parents or grandparents. You will wear clothes. You will eat these things and not those things." Some families add, "If someone has this color skin, you will think well of them; a different color, not so well." One of the first things I am taught is that I will not think of my"self" first. That is selfish. So that means that in my concept of who and what I am, I must put my own opinions aside and depend on vibrations or other input that I get from others. I learn that if I do certain things, Mom gives me good vibes. If I try the same with Dad, it doesn't work, so I find something else to get good vibes from him and something different for each of my siblings. Then there's school, where I must do something different for each one I want to love me. It doesn't take long for me to discover that, no matter how hard I try, for any given moment more people are not giving me good vibes than are. And because my tribes impress on me that my self-image is to be shaped by others, I'm rather down on myself from the start. If I have a family situation where either or both parents or siblings tell me that I'm worthless, it is devastating; these people are the ones I need to depend on for nurturing. I want to emphasize here that each one of us has the strong inherent desire to somehow feel good about self. This is an important part of our foundation, and the lack of self- love is the very foundation for most psychological problems.

## TRUTH

As I proceed in life, more and more tribes influence me, each trying to shape me in their "truth." Some of these are in conflict with others. Some institutions tell me not to lie or cheat, yet show me the opposite. Some attempt to place guilt on me if I believe or act in certain ways that don't agree with their ways.

Soul speaks to me through feelings—intuition, hunches, gut feelings, whatever you want to call them. My tribes speak to me through the senses. I can't use my brain to think of anything without referring to my senses. Tribes attempt to control me through my senses and my mind. When soul feelings and tribal teachings disagree, the amount of conflict I feel and the way I respond depend on where I am on my Spiritual Path, and this can result in chaos, peace of mind, or somewhere in between. . The combination of all my tribal experiences and my soul feelings defines my individual truth. And because no two of us interpret personal experiences the same way, each of our truths will be different. That's as God designed it. And my concepts of my truth and what I am are constantly changing.

## Energy

The Energy flow I described previously is truly the way I exist. There is plenty of energy to keep me in good health, assuming that it is allowed to flow through me in a positive manner without meeting any resistance. If I "hang on" to a negative I have experienced or which has been assigned to me in the past because I perceived it to be a truth, and I choose to keep thinking about how "bad" I am, I am directing some of the energy to feed that perception. (I would refer you to the observer effect in physics. Google it if you are so inclined.) Like attracts like. If I am negative in my perceptions about anything for a very long time, I will attract negatives to myself in return. (Lynn Grabhorn, in her book, "Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting", presents a beautiful discussion of this.)

This summarizes some spiritual concepts. I refer you to the essays that follow, to the works mentioned in the Prologue, and to the bibliography for more detailed discussions.

# My Approach to My Patient with examples

When patients arrived for their first visit, the first thing we both needed to do was identify as specifically as possible, what was really bothering them. This might seem like a "duh," but read on. All questions and answers were approached from a strictly nonjudgmental standpoint, and I guided the patient to understand that they were here because they felt that _they_ had a problem(s) and that we needed to approach their situation from that standpoint. That is, the problem was a perception of theirs. It wasn't that her husband had a drinking problem, or her son had a drug problem. While these were certainly triggers for her distress, the husband or son many times didn't feel he had a problem, and he wasn't the one coming for help. When the patient understood that (s)he was the one who owned the problem, we could then discuss possible choices over which (s)he had control to attempt to solve that problem.

Almost without exception, the patients I treated felt "down" on themselves. I felt that if I could help patients to think of themselves with less disdain, this new twist might sow helpful seeds of self-worth. In dealing with depression and certain other diagnoses, I could explain that from the technical viewpoint, traditional medicine knows today that there is a problem with chemical substances called serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, acetylcholine and others. In some cases there are medications that can help alleviate their symptoms effectively to "correct" an imbalance. These medications serve as a short-term "band aid," and may even be needed for a long period of time, sometimes permanently, if the patient's inherent system doesn't correct the imbalance by itself after a reasonable period of time. But in fact, each of our realities depends entirely on our perceptions. And I believe that the use of Spirituality in changing self-perception gets more to the real cause of what we are trying to treat.

Some examples are certainly more effective than didactics:

# "Could I Have Saved Dad?"

A woman in her 50s came in the week after Father's Day. One year earlier she had been with her father in the small town where he lived. They had decided to go out for a noon meal for Father's Day at the small restaurant in town. Dad bought a new suit for the occasion. When Father's Day arrived the weather was very hot, and the restaurant was not air-conditioned. My patient lovingly suggested that she fix a brunch at home and that they look into going to a nearby larger city later in the day for an air-conditioned celebratory meal. That was fine with Dad.

The phone rang, and it was a call from some of the patient's siblings wanting to say "Happy Father's Day" to Dad. My patient suggested he go to the basement to talk on a different phone so all could commune. Soon the brothers and sisters were happily gabbing and Dad was silent. This wasn't unusual, but after everyone said their good-byes, my patient went to check on Dad and found him lying on the floor with a peaceful expression on his face but no pulse.

Her grief when I first saw her (again, one year after his death) persisted mainly as guilt. "If I had only taken him out for that meal, maybe he wouldn't have died. He didn't even get a chance to wear his new suit. I know I could have done something for him had I not suggested that he go to the basement." This woman's only motivation toward her father was deep love. But her perception led her to guilt. I gave her several examples of similar circumstances involving others and asked whether she felt that they had done anything "wrong." She agreed that they hadn't but couldn't apply that to her situation. I shared some Spirituality with her, suggesting that if she did identify with its concepts she could understand that God created Dad with a separate contract from hers and that Soul (God) would be the one to determine when Dad was finished with his Earthly experiences.

I asked her several questions: Did she believe in Heaven? Did she believe that Dad was there? Did she ever feel a closeness to Dad after his death? Did she ever at her deepest level desire that anything "bad" happen to him? I assured her that no matter whether Dad was in the physical care of a physician or in the basement where he wanted to be, when his time was to come, it would come. Objectively this all made sense, but my patient still couldn't shake the guilt. So I told her that because she was the only one who owned the guilt (it was perceived only by her), the only way to get rid of it would be through forgiveness. In the environment of forgiveness, guilt cannot survive. I suggested that she could go through a clergy person or directly to God, simply meditate upon this herself, or ventilate through me, allowing herself to feel forgiven. Even though there was no need to forgive, forgiveness would be her answer. It was.

After several sessions my patient felt much better. I had placed her on an antidepressant medication because the guilt and depression symptoms were "running her life," and because of the length of time these symptoms had been present. We discontinued the medication after several months, and she remains at peace with herself, her family, and Dad.

This is an example of a beautiful lady perceiving herself as someone "bad," experiencing herself as guilty of neglect in her father's case, and ultimately, indirectly causing his demise. Allowing her to change her self-perception was all she needed to become whole again.

# "Relinquish My Role As Appeaser?"

A 38-year-old mother of one child came in because she was fatigued, having panic attacks, feeling depressed, and was unhappy at her work. Early in her life her family encouraged her to be an appeaser, like many in the generation before her. They also taught her that an appeaser is passive and doesn't make waves. This is a difficult thing for anyone to accomplish. At any rate, she had a very passive personality.

The woman's youngest daughter was awakening during the night with apparent "night terrors" (or was it to manipulate her parents?). She regularly joined her mom and dad in their bed. Dad was a deep sleeper and didn't usually awaken; however, he did agree that this was a problem that should somehow be addressed. (In this and other situations, he essentially ignored the problem. "Leave it for Mom to handle" was something he'd learned in his upbringing.) This middle-of-the-night routine was leaving both the daughter and mom quite fatigued each morning.

The woman described her work environment as a relatively disorganized office setting that sometimes approached chaos. The boss was a good worker and kind to the employees but not an organizer. My patient had ideas for improving the work situation through some practical reshuffling and organization; one of her gifts was the ability to organize. But her self-image of "appeaser without waves" held her back from making constructive suggestions to the boss.

Her interactions with her daughter were consistently passive. The daughter knew exactly how to "push her mom's button," which would then lead to a contest with tempers escalating and frustration from both sides because nothing got resolved. In essence, the unqualified daughter was in control.

I suggested that Mom own each aspect of her problems; further, that she was the only one who could solve them. In her roles both at work and at home, passive appeaser wasn't working. Might there be an opportunity to use her organizational abilities at work? Also, considering that the contests between her daughter and herself were not working, why not step away from the contests and allow herself (with at least some support from her husband) to establish some ground rules for their daughter. For example, instead of allowing the daughter to get up (fatigued) each morning, turn on and get distracted by the TV and therefore not complete the act of dressing nor have time to eat breakfast, and sometimes end up late for school, establish the fact that TV isn't turned on until after dressing and having breakfast—period. I encouraged the concept that Mom was truly a loving person and that being an appeaser was a lose-lose for all, enabling the nonproductive behavior. I suggested that she approach her boss with some constructive ideas for organization. She swallowed hard and tried it. Her boss was not only receptive, she was delighted, and the work situation improved for all.

Mom's self-confidence and image changed, and she formed some guidelines for her daughter, firmly explaining that they were going to be followed without discussion or contest. It would be OK for daughter to awaken during the night, but not to get in bed with Mom and Dad. Television would not be allowed in the morning unless dressing and eating were accomplished first. Dad was supportive. I also emphasized that God's world is one of constant change, and this can include Mom's perception of how or even whether to be an appeaser. She loves herself and others in a different way now.

This is an example of perceiving self in a role early in life that requires passivity in an impractical manner. It took a while to work things out, but eventually Mom felt much more positive about herself and became much more lovingly assertive. Both she and I felt that she was like a different person.

# "What shall I do about my son?"

A 56-year-old divorced mother of three children couldn't sleep well or concentrate, felt fatigued, was uncharacteristically impatient, and felt tense and anxious much of the time. Her son was an alcoholic and had been through drug rehab programs three times. He presently had a job whose wages were not enough to pay for an apartment, so he lived with Mom. He paid a small amount of rent and did a few odd jobs around the house. Soon he started to drink again intermittently, leading to several OMVIs. Mom felt that she has tried in every way possible to help her son achieve sobriety. She attended Al-Anon meetings fairly regularly, but she was raised as an appeaser and continued in that role. Rocking the boat didn't seem like a good idea to her; that might cause her son to drink even more.

I shared much of Spirituality 101 with this woman, emphasizing that each of us has an individual covenant with God. While her son's drinking might not be what was best for either of them, he must own his own behavior. Examining her transparent truth, she realizes that she was walking on eggshells, unable to predict whether or not her son will be inebriated each time they met. This way of living in a "what if" future world had been robbing her of much energy and accomplishing nothing for her or her son.

Supporting the concepts of Al-Anon, I advised setting some rules for her home, which included her son's moving out, regardless of his financial status, if there were any more alcohol-related incidents involving the law. I told my patient the only person she could treat was herself; she had no control over her son's actions. He must understand that he would experience the consequences of his choices, no matter how severe, good or bad. Allowing this to happen would be in everyone's best interest; anything less would enable harmful behavior for both parties. Nothing this woman had done using fear as motivation had been fruitful for either of them. This line of reasoning gave her back to (love) herself, while still supporting her son in ways that were positive for both.

# "I really don't want to relive the past."

A 62-year-old woman had taken medication for depression for at least 10 years. Her insurance coverage had recently changed, so she couldn't continue to see her therapist. During our initial visit I inquired about some of her childhood experiences, at which time she looked panicked and proclaimed that she didn't wish to "go there," because she feared that she would have to go through the same old traumas by reopening that book. I initially honored her request, asking what symptoms were troubling her. Extreme fatigue was prominent, and she had definite symptoms of depression.

Sharing some of Spirituality 101 with her, I especially emphasized energy flow, explained that her "now" was choosing to relive some of the horrors of her past. I suggested to her that, just like everyone else, she was one of God's miracles. There was no need to look at each of her feared negatives in the baggage just realize that the baggage certainly existed and would always be there but its contents and importance were outdated. She'd never considered these perceptions before, and it was joyful to see peaceful calm appear in her countenance.

These and so many other cases illustrate my use of Spirituality principles in treating my patients.

# A New life for me

It is hard for me to express the joy and satisfaction I experienced in dealing with clients such as these. Each had a story similar to the ones above. I truly enjoyed this new life—almost as much as I had enjoyed life upon finishing my rotating internship in 1961, ready to "cure" the world. Of course, now I realize that I'm not here to cure the world, rather only to offer a chance for some individuals to look at themselves in a different way—to give them a choice as to how they can use the gifts their God gave them and to help each to love self as a beautiful God-given Miracle. I hope and believe this is why each of us is here, regardless of our vocation.

By now, some of you may doubt my earlier statement that I don't have an agenda. You may even feel that I am pushing Spirituality. I'll not deny that I feel very positive and peaceful about what Spirituality has done for me. And I feel privileged to be able to at least offer it as an alternative to those who are unhappy with their belief systems. Indeed, it has also served to augment beliefs, rather than replace, with some clients. So if I need to own that as an agenda, I accept that ownership.

# ESSAYS

#  TRIBES

Tribes are the many and varied groups of fellow humans with whom we share our experiences while on Earth. The first is family. There is the tribe of immediate family and the extended tribe of blood relatives. At school, our classmates comprise a tribe, but we also may have subgroups such as clubs, teams, and participants in special events or interest groups within the school. Religious groups, church members, fellow workers, sports or recreational teams, parents of a common team of which our kid(s) are a member, and members of parent-teacher organizations are other examples. We truly are a part of many different tribes.

Each of these tribes desires and requires our membership. Without members they cannot exist. Some tribes are "grandfathered in" (family, school), and some compete for us (clubs, teams, churches or religions, etc.).

We have many wonderful and uplifting experiences and associations in our dealings with tribes: family reunions, religious and family ceremonies, team victories, and so many others. These events can inspire us and present opportunities to express great love.

Tribes attempt to influence us through our minds. Logically, they teach us what they feel is in their best interest. In doing this they work through the five senses. We can't use our minds to think of anything without using one or more of our senses. In the interest of continued existence, tribes attempt to define what is "right" or "wrong" for each of us, usually through a group teaching or statement, but sometimes individually.

Our first tribe, family, is one of the strongest teachers of loyalty. Family ties and loyalty differ somewhat among ethnic backgrounds as well as among individual families. To be judged disloyal to one's family is a bitter pill for any of us to swallow. We want to be approved of by our family members, especially our parents and siblings. If we sense, accurately or not, that we are responsible for a thought, word, or deed that a close or important family member has judged as disloyal, we develop a deep feeling of guilt. In other words, if I sincerely attempt to conform to my family's tribal requirements only to be judged by other members and informed that I have failed, I experience guilt. Never mind my motivation of love in doing whatever I did; someone very important to me has found what I did (and consequently, me) unacceptable. The judgment may have been offered in a moment of anger or otherwise illogical thinking and may even have been forgotten by the person placing it. But when I received it, I was vulnerable, and if I accept the judgment (label) and continue to own it, even if it is incorrect from the start, I feed a monster. Someone else may have sown the monster's seed, but I am the sole owner and the one who nurtures it.

As time goes by and we become more involved with other tribes, incongruities seem to arise. About any particular subject, family might teach us a belief that is totally different from that taught by school or church or workplace. Our various tribes are all important to us, and we eventually become confused. Whom shall we believe? Where is our highest priority? Why does it have to be that, no matter which tribe we side with, we experience feelings of guilt because a decision required us to be disloyal to the other tribes? But such is the lot of each of us as tribe members. We must take the good with the bad and make our decisions as best we can.

To my way of thinking, the way out of the dilemma is for me to step back and look at "my truth" from the standpoint of how I feel in my heart. How do my heart and my gut feel about the matter? Soul has much deeper wisdom than mind (tribes). Going with our hearts allows us to live with ourselves much more peacefully. Now we have chosen what love would do. We are listening to Soul. This certainly doesn't mean that our love or our opinion will be accepted by the tribe, but we are the only ones, individually, who can define "my truth" (unless I choose to let family or some other tribe define it for me), and we can at least love others enough to share that truth, whether or not they agree and understand.

Who demonstrated the importance of love over the opinions of tribes any more lovingly than Jesus?

# LOVE

So many things can and should be said of love. Of course, I am not speaking about romantic love, although many of the aspects of Spiritual love are beautifully borrowed to that end.

Spiritual Love is an energy. It is also God. As such, it is the Universal Energy. It perfuses each of us and everything in existence with the ability to be and to be sustained. As Neale Walsch says in his book, Conversations with God, "Love is the energy which expands, opens up, sends out, stays, reveals, shares, heals." Love unifies or makes everything one." Deepak Chopra says, "Love is the experience of unity consciousness: The animating force that sustains me is the same force that sustains you." Again, this Love is God.

Important corollaries follow. Because God is in everything and, in that sense, God is All There Is, it follows that Love is all there is. This is a spiritual fact. For some time, scientists have been telling us that everything is energy in some form or another. Spiritualists have been telling us that God is all that exists, that God is in every micro and macro spot—and in everything in between. This is the great bridge between science and Spirituality: Science's energy = Spirituality's God. That is why I refer to God as the Universal Energy. There is nowhere in existence where God isn't.

The implications of this are beyond the mind's comprehension. And that is perfectly OK, because human minds aren't really meant to be able to "know it all"—to strive to know it all, perhaps, but attaining that will never happen. One can start any sentence with any word and add after that "is God": life, tree, frog, Dad, ostrich, etc. Each of these and everything else is God.

When we contemplate some of the negative aspects of our lives, the statement that "Everything is God" might seem offensive. But it's not. God is present in what we regard as the most horrific circumstances of abuse, brutality, rape, and murder as well as in natural disasters. How can I say this? Because God created each of us electively and gave us each free will and it is we who create our experiences, not God. Early on in our Homo sapiens existence, we saw lightning, huge waves, fierce winds, and many other things that we (understandably) regarded as "other" than us. And we concluded that this "other" must be more powerful than we are. That conclusion led us to the logic that there is separation, that unity of all things does not exist. Spiritually, however, this interpretation is incorrect. We are all actually one with everything. That we appear different is an illusion that serves a very important function for God (and us) so that each of us can define our own individual truth here on Earth. To state it more accurately, we are each individuations of the "one." Much like each glass of sea water is an individuation of the ocean. No two individuals have the same "my truth" (see "Truth"). God allows each of us to create our experiences based on "my truth," and thus, She enjoys many different kinds of experiences simultaneously.

A corollary of the belief that we are different is our invention of fear (see "Fear"). Fear makes me believe that you might get more of something than I will. Or that my very existence will be threatened if I don't get enough. Or that you might be more powerful than I—and many other conclusions based on the idea of separateness and lack rather than oneness and wholeness. God allows us to live with these beliefs because God gives us free will to form them and to reach these conclusions. That doesn't mean they are valid beliefs from the Creator's point of view. It only means that God lets us have as much freedom as we desire to believe whatever we choose. The horrific things, then, are of our human construct, based on the beliefs of separateness, which are false. In allowing us to create in this way, God, as co-creator, experiences through each of us, and actually is each of the things we create.

In Spiritual fact, our planet is an illusion. Its purpose is to have a "stage" on which God can experience (and be) all aspects of life. The "place" where God "really exists" is called the Absolute. This is a place where there is no time or relativity. Every possible answer to any possible question already exists, so there's no need to ask the question:

Your father knows what you need before you ask Him (Matthew 5:8).

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be (Psalm 139:16).

But God cannot experience in the Absolute. To experience requires a linear path with choices to define it. And to be anywhere on a path means there is somewhere else you aren't. This is impossible with God's existence in the Absolute, because in that "place," there can be no linearity—just all that is, was, or ever will be, all at once. Again, appropriately, our minds cannot comprehend this in our world of relativity. God, then, gives God (and us) a gift in the creation of the physical universe. And God experiences every micro and macro aspect of that universe. We are here to be co-creators of the human experience with God in the physical universe. But as humans we are not a part of the Absolute, because that is not our function.

God loves us enough to give us examples or Masters whom we may, if we choose, emulate. Moses, Jesus, Muhammad, and many other Masters, past and present, have come to demonstrate to us what a human being can be or achieve. They have come in love to mentor us.

Love is all there is. Everything is, therefore, in the milieu of Love. God gives us three tools with which to create: thought, work, and action. If we choose fear as our motivation in this milieu of Love, we cannot obtain our desired goal in the creation process. This would be as impossible as an ice cube's continuing to exist as an ice cube when it's placed in a pot of boiling water. How many family disagreements, corporate jealousies, and world wars do we need to experience before we understand this? When we can finally comprehend that God is truly all there is and that we are (not by our design, but by God's) one with this God, and that what we do to or for each other we do to or for God and for ourselves, then we will be on a new path of peace. This will start with love of self (as a miraculous creation of God) and will evolve to the understanding that we are all one. It goes far beyond the Golden Rule; it recognizes Reality.

This concept is eloquently stated in Conversations with God by Neale Walsch: "God is not the unattainable, but the unavoidable."

#  LOVE OF SELF

We were created to love ourselves. Each of us is a miracle, electively created by God and given the opportunity to co-create (as humans) with God. What we really are—a soul having a human experience knows of this perfection. It also knows that one of our birthrights is joy.

But once again, our many tribes teach us about our imperfections. Religions tell us that we are born as sinners; family members pass judgment on us, sometimes even stating that we'll never amount to anything or that we are worthless and unworthy. Our bosses at work use the bottom line as the measure of their success and ours, increasing already impossible goals annually. The list of reasons to see self as undesirable persists and grows; however, these are mind-related judgments and are inaccurate. God creates only perfection and presents us only with opportunities. The perception that we are not perfect and that we are victims is ego-driven, which, again, is of the tribes and of the mind.

It is deeply important that we feel love for ourselves. Without this we are spiritually empty. If we cannot get "out of our minds" to realize that, indeed, we are perfection, we are assuming ownership of a label placed as a result of judgment by another person or group. This need to love self is so important and deep that if we don't experience it, fear motivates our lives rather than love. If we cannot obtain self-love in any other way, we might easily go into the "control" mode to get it. We can then feel good about ourselves if we can show ourselves that we have significant control or power over someone else. On the other hand, we know that we don't want anyone else to have significant control over us, as this will make us lose self-esteem. If we can show ourselves and someone else that we have that kind of control over them, we gain self-love at their expense. In other words, I am so important that I "control" someone else. This can then allow me feel "OK" about myself.

This type of reasoning is based strictly on egotism. It says that it is OK for us to sacrifice another's self-love; indeed, in some cases, to have a person debase himself for our sake. This is based on fear and lack, not love—as is all egotism. Love would never consider controlling another individual. Each of us is here to experience different things at different times and in our own way. Allowing someone else to control us or desiring to control anyone else in any way would stand in the way of that, and this would never be soul-driven.

I have seen and counseled many in relationships driven by this "power and control." In marriage, for instance, the perfect relationship is based on doing what we can to augment our partner's position or improve conditions to enable our partner to do what (s)he feels (s)he is here to do right now. This doesn't mean spending large sums or sacrificing our own experiences. It does mean seeing how much love we can put into a common "love pot" rather than always seeking what we can take from it. If my partner feels the need to control me, my feeling soon goes from love to resentment, for I can't do what I am here to do. Perhaps the only way she can feel good about herself is through manipulative or abusive control. My tribes have taught me that I must be loyal to her no matter what happens. Now the relationship becomes one of obligation on my part. Add resentment to that situation and neither party can feel joy. This also happens in work relationships and in many others.

I have found it helpful to have people who are unhappy in their relationships "step outside themselves." I ask them to imagine that they and the others affected in the unhappiness are characters in a stage play and that they are the author of the play. I suggest to the patient that (s)he remain one of the characters but imagine exiting the body and sitting in the audience as a completely objective observer, noting the truth of the relationship between each character. Pass no judgment on any relationship or any character. Simply become aware of the true motivation behind the action of any one or all. By doing this without judgment, one's justification for using ego as motivation can be more easily observed and changed or not changed, depending on what the author desires.

One of the methods I suggest to people for improving self-esteem is making a little sign and taping it to their bathroom mirror, so they can see it just before retiring and the first thing each morning. It says, "I am looking at a miracle!" That's a true statement. Thank you, God, for the privilege of the miracle of me.

#  FEAR

If you have read my essay on Love, wherein I state that "Love is all there is" (God), you must think I am being inconsistent by writing about fear. Not so. When God created the Physical Universe, certain laws needed to become an innate part of that creation. Gravity and other energy fields, consequences for any choices taken by living things, and the law of opposites were just three of these.

The law of opposites states, in essence, that one cannot know or experience something without experiencing its opposite. For example, we cannot know white unless we know black; we can observe gray, which contains a combination of both, but we must know of the opposite to appreciate either one. It is the same with hot and cold, up and down (although astronauts have a different viewpoint from those of us who stay on Earth's surface), etc. This law also applies to our individual interpretations of "good or bad" and "right or wrong."

I want to once again point out that these are laws of this Physical Universe. They do not exist in the Absolute, but they are gifts from God to those of us who inhabit this Universe at this time. We can regard them as tools to use in our ability to co-create, with God, this human experience for which we all came.

It stands to reason, then, that we cannot truly know of love without knowing of its opposite, fear. This is necessary for us as humans, for we have chosen the type of existence we shall experience at this time based on these opposites. Therefore, in order to experience a particular depth of love, I must, as a human being, be familiar with or have experienced a similar depth of fear.

Fear, then, is a human invention of necessity (at least in our world). In the Spiritual sense, there is no such thing—Love (God) is truly all there is. But because God allows us to create our own "reality," and because God is Everything, fear is, therefore, a part of the illusive reality at our human level. What I am trying to say here is that God gives us creative abilities as humans, understanding that some of the conclusions we reach and, therefore, the outcomes of our creative attempts, might not be Truth in the Spiritual sense. But God goes along with this process and is a part of them anyway.

In the essay on Love I described love as an energy—one that draws us and everything else together in unity. Fear is also an energy that, logically, is the opposite of Love. Fear makes us think that everything is separate. It is based on the concept that we lack something. We are separate from God, from each other, and from all other things. You look different from what I see in the mirror. You live "there"; I live "here."

Our tribes are very important in this fear concept. They want to define for us what is acceptable behavior in their eyes and what is not. They have the need to determine the rules and, thereby, what is "good and bad" and "right and wrong." It becomes disconcerting for most of us, in belonging to so many tribes, to determine which tribe deserves precedence. Should I be most loyal to my country, which tells me to kill or lay down my life in the cause of nationalism, or should I refuse to kill or lay down my life if that is what my religious teachings dictate? And if my family has definite feelings about this, am I most obligated to abide by their wishes rather than those of church or state?

We humans have been using fear as the motivation for many important decisions since our early beginnings. Indeed, that is when we observed certain natural phenomena (lightning, strong winds, tidal waves, etc.) and understandably concluded that some "other" things that didn't resemble us existed. These other things seemed more powerful than humans, and, in fearing for our very existence, we sought ways to appease them. So the first deities were of nature: sun, wind, and rain, for example. And we tried to come up with ways to appease them. These were the roots of our religions.

Different tribes have come through different experiences adopting various religious beliefs since then, but in general, each religion purports to exist to help attain a state of "peace on Earth, good will to all." That this has not been achieved by any or all religions combined is evident. Indeed, the very reason for this fact is fear. Each religion sees itself as the "true answer," separate from all the others and adamant about being "right." This point is brought out brilliantly in Neale Walsch's book, "The New Revelations," which I strongly recommend, and which seems to me to have great suggestions for achieving the goal of peace and good will.

Individual religions attempt to use fear to obtain and maintain membership: "Do this or that or horrible things will happen to you, says our deity. We'll define the rules for you, and if you follow them you will eventually (most of the time, not during your physical existence on Earth) be rewarded." This rule by fear, whether or not supported by scripture (written by human men), does not portray the God of Love to which I refer in these essays. My God is unconditionally oving. This God created me to appear different from you so that we could each create our own unique experiences, thereby allowing God to enjoy the experiences in many different ways—simultaneously. There isn't a "right" or "wrong" with this God. There is what works and what doesn't work for us, individually and collectively, but even here, God doesn't judge any of us. She simply allows each of us to go our way, continuing to create, even if we choose to use fear as our motivation.

I can help myself and the world by simply stepping back to observe whether each action or thought is fear-based or love-based—not to judge it, simply to observe it. Then I can decide whether I want to change the action in any way. Personally, my life has been much more peaceful and meaningful since I started using this technique—and choosing to be love rather than to be "right."

As I stated in the essay on Love, fear cannot work as a motivation in the milieu of love. But we painfully keep trying to disprove this.

# SOUL

If the question were asked, "Is there one aspect of Spirituality that ties everything else together?" I would respond, "Soul." In the most magnificent sense, Soul represents the wondrous union between Ethereal God and Humanity. Soul is what each of us really is; that is, I am a soul ("spirit") having a human experience—in fact, having another human experience. (I'll expand on this shortly.)

God has created each of us with three parts: soul, mind, and body. Soul represents a special focus of the great God Energy that becomes each of us individually. If it's easier, think of it as a small "piece" of Ethereal God. The Spiritual purpose of Soul is to evolve. This is not the same as to learn. Soul, in its ethereal nature, already knows all there is to know. But God desires to have each soul experience what it knows. This can't happen in the realm of the Absolute, but it can and does happen in the Physical Universe.

Soul, then, has a Spiritual agenda. For this incarnation it has certain things it desires to experience. At the time of death for this incarnation, Soul will review its experiences to determine whether it accomplished its complete agenda. It also will remember other incarnations and determine how its total evolution, considering all incarnations, is proceeding. Soul can then choose to reincarnate with a similar agenda or a different one. Overall, it might take many incarnations for Soul to successfully experience its agenda. Important here are two points: Soul never dies—it can't, and Soul reincarnates, if that is its desire.

At the time of death, the mind and body "die." They change energy forms and supposedly "are no more." Yet an excellent book recently written by Walter Semkiw, MD, titled "Return of the Revolutionaries," gives awesome evidence that when we reincarnate, it is frequently with similar physical features and styles; also, that we have Karmic ties with other souls and that we might return in groups or teams, somehow continuing the same or similar agendas as in recent past lives. This is fascinating reading and well-documented. I highly recommend it.

For each incarnation, at the time of our birth we are required—at the conscious level of our minds—to forget experiences of past incarnations. This is because a very important part of each lifetime is free will. We must be free to make decisions, starting from scratch, unencumbered by the knowledge of previous incarnations. Having that knowledge would influence our decisions in such a way as to remove the total spontaneity we need to fully experience "this time around." As mentioned above, at the time of death, the soul recalls experiences not only of this incarnation but of all others as well.

From the standpoint of being a human in the physical world, the main purpose of Soul is to provide opportunities. Whereas most of us think in terms of coincidences and chance occurrences, such things do not exist. Whatever Soul has determined to be its agenda for this incarnation, it will correspondingly provide (many different) opportunities to accomplish that agenda. From the mind-body viewpoint, I became a physician because I met certain academic requirements and forged ahead doing whatever was needed to accomplish that goal. In fact, Soul provided the opportunities to be in an appropriate place at an appropriate time. Medicine is likely not the only way my soul's agenda could have been accomplished, but it's the one I "chose."

Soul does not communicate with us through the mind. It goes beyond mind and communicates through feelings or intuition. I "knew" I was going to be a physician by the time I was in the sixth grade, at which time I had memorized most of the muscles in the body. As far as I can recall, this was not an intellectual consideration. I did not weigh one type of life work against another. We've all had gut feelings urging us to go with this or that opportunity or decision. Many times this is Soul communicating that it is providing an opportunity for experience. Reactively, many times our minds kick in and say something like "why would you even consider trying this? You know it's impossible, or You tried this once before and failed. Why would you consider trying it again?" If the feeling to do this thing is strong (that is, truly a "hit" from the Soul), we would be well-advised to go along with it, no matter what happened last time. The power available through Soul is unlimited, and if I allow myself to be in the "Now" (see "Now"), unencumbered by expectations of failure or other limitations, that's when I can see "miracles" occur.

How do we know whether a feeling or intuition is from Soul or from mind playing tricks on us? By the feeling we have when we relax and close our eyes momentarily after the "hit." If we feel deep joy, it was from Soul. If we feel sad or uneasy in the stomach or agitated or as if we are trying to put a square peg into a round hole, it was not from Soul. The mind's agenda is shortsighted, focusing on definite outcomes, such as a cure for some specific condition or money enough to pay a particular bill. It is ego- or tribe-related. With the Soul, a specific result from the worldly standpoint is not important. The joy of the experiences of the journey is most significant.

Knowledge of interaction between mind-body and Soul is important. As stated above, Soul communicates through "hits" involving feelings or intuitions. These are at a much deeper level than that of mind. Many of us believe that the deeper truths of Soul enter through our hearts via meditation or similar activities such as described by HeartMath (see HeartMath}. Our tribes (see "tribes") feel a great need to manipulate and control us. This is a two-edged sword, having beneficial and not-so-beneficial effects on why we believe we are really here. Tribes teach us that logic and objective reasoning form the most important basis for reaching the most accurate and dependable conclusions by which we should live. This depends on accurate use of the scientific method to define the "truth" of any situation. The fallacy in this is that worldly (temporal) truth changes. Penicillin, in 1960, cured nearly every case of pneumococcal pneumonia; this is not true today. Until recently, anxiety and depression were not fully recognized as major factors in heart attacks; no longer true. Choosing to follow the latest recommendations of the medical community based on the finest studies available is certainly a prudent decision. But understand that almost as certainly, those recommendations will sooner or later change, sometimes even 180 degrees.

One of God's built-in characteristics of the Physical Universe is continuous change. This provides us with never-ending opportunities for new experiences, which, again, is why God created us. There is a Spiritual Truth that doesn't change. The best source we have for that Truth is Soul.

How can we allow ourselves to regularly communicate with Soul? Meditation and centering prayer are two effective ways. The idea here is to allow ourselves to empty the busy mind and allow Soul to provide us with a new supply of fresh energy. If we can combine this practice with being in the "Now," creative probabilities and possibilities become awesome. For beginning meditation I recommend reading The Relaxation Response by Herbert Benson, MD. There are many other forms of meditation, such as yoga and other movement-based methods, as well. A plethora of literature on both meditation and centering prayer exists, and I enthusiastically recommend further reading. I also enthusiastically recommend HeartMath (see HEARTMATH}

Whichever form of meditation you might choose, it is more effective to always begin by requesting that the energy you receive from the experience come from the Light of God, and making that request with a quiet feeling of heartfelt, sincere passion. This can greatly amplify the benefits.

Thank you, God, for Soul.

#  ONENESS

As stated in Spirituality 101, I know there is a Creator whose characteristics include the following:

The creation of everything, known or unknown, seen or unseen

Knowledge of everything, known or unknown, seen or unseen

Omnipresence, meaning that the Creator is everywhere, known or unknown; seen or unseen; past, present, or future; and in all

places or spaces in between "things" as we think of them.

In the past, I perceived the Creator as being "with" each of the creations, but now I feel it is more accurate to think the Creator _is_ each of the creations. Perhaps this is splitting hairs, but because God created the physical universe in order to experience, the way to do that is for Her to be whatever She wants to experience, not just be a part of it.

In this sense, then, there is nothing that God isn't. He is macro (the mountain) and micro (the subatomic particles or waveform energy). She is the blade of grass, the frog, the majestic waterfall, all of our planets and our galaxy, as well as all the "space" in between. All of these "things" or situations are God, as are you and I. We are that same God, for there is only Oneness. We appear different from each other because of the illusion necessary to allow us to create our own unique human experiences. This is the illusion of separateness, which, according to our senses is true, but from the Spiritual standpoint is not true.

Logic therefore says that because we are one, what I do to or for you, I do to or for myself. If I offer you love, I am also offering it to myself; the same with offering judgment or negative thoughts or jealousy or honor or anything else. What I create for you, I receive. What goes around comes around. This isn't just something that might or could be true; it _is_ true. Even from the physical standpoint, we are one. Each of us breathes some of the same molecules that Jesus or the Buddha breathed. And each of us desquamates (sheds) the oldest, dried top layer of our skin. Molecules from this process enter the soil to nourish the plants we eat and become a part of our bodies.

Imagine what would happen if the whole world were to acknowledge this. All could realize that each of us is an elective and miraculous creation of God, and that we are each a part of that same God. Like the different parts of the body, we each have separate God-given talents (gifts) to use in the body of Humanity. Each of us would respect and appreciate the others as complementary "body parts," recognizing that our differences are gifts. Even our different belief systems could be regarded as a sharing in love of a different but equally valid and respected point of view. What a wonderful world that would be. Wars would not even be considered. Food distribution would be based on love (there's enough for all; therefore, this is really a distribution problem), not on fear (fear of not enough profit or wealth for the supplier).

Once again, I say that even though the mind says we are separate, this is not true. In order to acknowledge this truth we must, in a sense, "get out of our minds." Separateness is the basis for all fear and is an illusion. It is the foundation of the cultural myth we have been living for millennia. Equally important, notice that it has not been working for any religion (whose purpose is to provide peace on Earth, good will to all), nation, state, business, or even family, because in emphasizing differences, the result is always competition and separateness, not cooperation, loving, and oneness. As Neale Walsch, author of Conversations with God, has said, "I am not my brother's keeper; I am my brother." Amen!

#  NOW

To paraphrase one of the most vocal and lucid Spiritual authors of our day, Eckhart Tolle, "Now" is the only thing that is real. It is the only thing from which we can never escape; it will be with us every instant for the rest of our human lives. I capitalize the word because it is holy.

Our pressures from society and its many tribes encourage us to focus on anything but the Now. We worry about what will happen at some time in the near or distant future. We feel guilty about something concerning the past. We feel inadequate because of some judgment placed on us by someone at some time, as we continue to own the label that person gave us. These and many more thoughts occupy our minds to remove us from the moment of "now."

What is the value of allowing ourselves to be in the Now? It removes us from all the clutter mentioned above. If we can allow ourselves to be in the Now, we empty our minds of past, future, and other concerns. To do this, then, requires that we get "out of our minds." The mind is the enemy of the Now. If we can empty our minds, we can allow fresh Universal Energy to fill the vacuum, and we can start afresh. This is what is accomplished with meditation in its many forms, and with centering prayer. I highly recommend both of these methods for a real "battery charge." I certainly am not saying that you can simply press a button and feel recharged the first time you try them, but with persistence sometimes comes a new habit, and this is very beneficial.

Now knows no judgment, no guilt, no worry. If we allow ourselves to meditate, we are simply "here," experiencing what is, with no thought of whether it is "good" or "bad." If the meditation is guided, we can view ourselves as a character in a play. We can then step outside of ourselves and sit in the audience, simply and without judgment, observing and being characters in the play. This lack of judgment is one of the most important aspects of being in the Now. If we introduce judgment in any way, we are in the past or in the future. By simply observing and not putting a label of "good" or "bad" on what is occurring, we can be much more objective about how other characters in the play are feeling about any situation. Or if we started the meditation with a desired outcome in mind, we might want to visualize that outcome. Again, if we allow past experiences to influence the visualized outcome and it's not the outcome we truly desire, we are creating, in a self-limiting way, based on our past. In actuality, there is no reason for us to have to feel that the present outcome needs to be like past outcomes. If we have a strong desire for a different outcome and visualize the outcome with passion, it has a much better chance of occurring according to our desire. This doesn't work all the time, but try it—again, with passion. You might be amazed.

There are many different ways to meditate. One of the simplest I have found for beginners is described in The Relaxation Response by Dr. Herbert Benson. Studies have consistently shown numerous health benefits from this simple type of meditation, which Benson explains nicely in the book.

Centering prayer is somewhat similar to meditation, but there are some differences. Although this is technically described as a Christian prayer, I believe it can be used to recognize the Higher Power within each of us without going through Jesus as a mediator. For more on this, I recommend "The Method of Centering Prayer" by Thomas Keating. (This and other excellent readings are available online at no charge.) Whatever method of meditation or centering prayer you choose, always begin with the statement, spoken or in thought, that all you are about to receive in the exercise is to come from the Light of God. This will also add credibility (and, hopefully, passion) to your experience.

Again, I want to recommend HeartMath as a way to augment (not replace) meditation. (see HeartMath)

Allowing ourselves a short period of time for meditation or centering prayer, perhaps as little as 10 or 15 minutes, once or preferably twice daily, does make a great difference in our perception of living. It rejuvenates us and increases our energy. Perhaps the greatest thing it does is to peacefully and restfully remove us from the past and the future.

I have pondered the animals and, at times, even the plants, whose beauty we are privileged to observe and share. Do they perceive anything other than the Now? A loving canine pet has a memory, for it remembers certain responses from past situations, yet it seems not to judge, instead moving to each new experience with its beloved master in a state of unconditional love. It seems, then, that God does provide, for the sparrow and for each flower, only the reality of Now—so they can live each moment absent the anchor of time and its associated judgments.

I strongly recommend further reading on this wonderful subject through the works of Eckhart Tolle, especially "The Power of Now."

# ENERGY FLOW

Scientists have been telling us for quite a few years that everything is a form of energy. Restated, this says that energy is all there is.

Spiritualists have long been telling us that God is all there is.

Scientists' Energy is synonymous with spiritualists' God.

(Note: I shall refer to the energy aspect of God as the Universal Energy, UE).

Let us examine some of the implications of the above statements. They say that there is no place where God isn't. God is in every micro (subatomic particle) and macro (entire universes, stars, planets, etc.) entity in existence—and in all the spaces in between. Scientists have discovered that energy and matter are on a continuum, and that the dividing line between the two forms is not only fuzzy, but that it can change or be changed in an instant. Indeed, it can be changed by humans trying to observe "what is"; the instruments used to observe affecting what actually is observed.

The UE is our source of Everything. I capitalize that, because it is God in energy form, and it is Divine. The UE flows through us in many ways: breathing, the sun's action on our skin, eating, water intake, the chakra system, and probably many other ways that we don't yet know about.

The system is designed so that energy enters each of us, is processed, then passes through us as thoughts, words, actions, emotions, etc. We each process the energy using our individual "truth." This is the process of human creation for which God, the Great Creator, created each one of us. What is our individual truth? It is mainly based on the total sum and composite of all experiences each of us has had in this lifetime, most of which have been tribe-related, plus any interaction between our soul and ourself.

If someone whose opinion I respect says, "You'll never amount to anything" or places some other negative label on me, and this really makes an impression on me, I may very easily, with head down, accept that label as true. I choose to own that label. Amazingly, some of my patients who have continued to own the label given in judgment by a family member have confronted that person at my suggestion to discern why the original judgment was made, only to find that the member can't even recall saying what my patient heard. It might have been said in anger, or as a result of fatigue or pain or any other circumstance, but without the deep meaning the recipient felt. My purpose here is to point out the importance of recognizing that I continue to own the label someone else has placed on me—originally as a judgment or as a reactive statement.

Plenty of energy flows through us at any time to keep all aspects of our existence healthy. This includes each cellular function as well as mental and spiritual health. But one prerequisite for this healthy flow is that we remain in the "Now." This is one of the most difficult things for us to do. If we are carrying around baggage by continuing to own negative labels placed on us by others or by ourselves (see "Tribes") we are keeping that baggage alive by giving it some of this precious energy. This is truly a monster that we have created, and we cannot blame this on anyone else. Someone else may have planted the seed, but we have watered it and helped it grow. This, then, is a perception we have about ourselves, usually not objectively shared by others, or if it is, we have validated them in their judgment. Negative thoughts about the past always involve guilt, guilt over what we or someone else did.

The other way not to be in the "Now" is to focus on the future. This is associated with anxiety and many times involves "what if" types of worries (see "Anxiety"). We often place ourselves in the past and in the future almost simultaneously then wonder why we feel so fatigued. For example, we think, "The last time I tried this I failed, and I am certain that failure will occur again tomorrow when I am required to attempt the same task." Instead of planning (virtually creating) failure in this way, it is possible to visualize the task being successful. In other words, choose a different outcome this time around. That different outcome already exists in the Universal Energy. All possible, and some seemingly impossible, outcomes exist. So choose the one you desire with passion, then "hand it over" to the Universe—to God. It may not come out the way you want it to this time, but what do you have to lose by assuming success? It is very important when doing this that you sincerely add the thought that your requested outcome occur only if it is in the best interest of the entire Universe.

The energy flow when we have baggage then, is diverted from the only reality we have—the "Now"—to either past or present. We have robbed ourselves of the wonderful Universal Energy at the expense of our health because of monsters we have created and choose to continue to feed. Is there a way to rid ourselves of these monsters? Yes! They cannot exist in the environment of Spiritual forgiveness (see "Forgiveness"). To forgive means to cut off the energy supply to the monster and allow it to wither up due to lack of nutrition. This does not mean denying its existence, just recognizing that using the monster as part of my existence is a choice—one that isn't working for me, so that I can choose something else instead.

I highly recommend Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now" for further reading concerning this subject.

Note: The energy flow to which I refer has been a part of Asian, Native American and other faith systems for centuries. This has stood the test of time and will continue in its validity through the ages.

# TRUTH

In truth, there are two truths. One is the Truth of the Absolute, with which the Creator works, creates, and defines. If we are to be permitted to have any knowledge concerning this Truth, it must necessarily come through a spiritual communication (meditation, centering prayer, HeartMath (see HeartMath) etc.). Can we know this Truth? When I first thought about writing this essay about thirty years ago I was in doubt. Since then it has become obvious to me that each and every one of us has a simply beautiful and beautifully simple access to at least small parts of Truth. It is available whenever we feel the need for solid advice. My personal way to open the door to this Truth is to relax my entire body, close my eyes, and visualize being in my heart. I actually see myself inside my heart. I breathe a little slower and deeper than usual. I now picture myself as breathing through my heart for my heart. When new thoughts come in I gently push them aside with a "not now—later, perhaps" and return to focus only on my breathing for and through heart. Total relaxation and focusing on breathing allow me to simply be open to truths that come through being in heart. For much more detail regarding this technique I refer you to heartmath.com. This is a wonderful instrument supporting the path to world peace.

The second truth, which we can deal with and use in our everyday lives, is more mundane and more personal. In fact, it is the most personal thing we have other than the concept of "Now." We can call this "my truth." Of note is the view that our tribes would not have truth be such a personal thing. Rather, each tribe would prefer to define our truth for us, whether the tribe be family, an organization to which we belong, our community, employer, nation, religion, or any other group

In fact, "my truth" is defined mainly by the experiences I have had in the past, perceptions I have about the present, and communications between my soul and self, which come as gut feelings or intuitions. No matter how influential tribes attempt to be in defining my truth, the bottom line is that I am the only one who truly can define it. My eyes, ears, nose, taste, and touch are to some degree different in sensitivity from those of others. My past experiences using these senses to interpret events are different from anyone else's. So the combination of it all makes my experiences unique to me. Additionally, my experiences and interpretations are constantly changing. Paraphrasing the Bible, when I was a child I thought as a child; as an adult I have a different viewpoint. Therefore, another fact about "my truth" is that it is always in a state of change. (The world used to be considered flat; that theory seemed to work fine at the time.)

I wish to accentuate the importance of recognizing that only I can honestly and transparently define my truth. It is impossible for me to think of any situation without my being a part of it, either through interaction or as an observer. When I think of "me" in that context, I transparently paint myself as a part of that scene. If I have been exposed to tribes that are strongly dominant (whether from my will or theirs), and as a result, feel obligated to feel a certain way ("right" or "wrong") about my role in a situation, any feeling of obligation comes after my initial transparent knee-jerk truthful evaluation. In other words, I note the situation, note how I truly feel about it, then reflect on how my tribes have taught me that I should feel about it. If I am astute, I will recognize that in the initial evaluation, many times it is my soul's (heart's) influence that encourages me to recognize and respect a truth untainted by tribal influences.

I am not trying to suggest that we deny tribal influences. As humans, we are destined to be in very beneficial and loving relationships with fellow humans, and these will be tribal. But I am encouraging nonjudgmental observation of self to recognize that tribes hold more power over many of our "truths" than we realize (or sometimes care to admit).

This, then, is one of the most important suggestions I have: When you have a gut feeling or intuition about some truth and it feels "good," only to be followed by a feeling of discomfort in the stomach or of guilt soon thereafter, allow yourself to step back from the situation and observe your own true feeling or passion about it. If the initial knee-jerk reaction you had brings you a feeling of love or joy, look at that fact. When tribal teachings bring a feeling of discomfort, observe and make a note of that, too. Then, in many instances, you will be faced with the dilemma of going with your inner (heart, love) interpretation and being at peace with yourself or going along with the tribe and not offending the rule makers. The New Testament is filled with examples of Jesus' having to make similar decisions. Most Christians apparently feel that we are here to emulate the teachings of this Master.

To share your truth with someone else is one of the greatest ways to share love. Your transparent truth is who you are, and you are truly unique in the universe. No one else can accurately know your truth unless you share it. This is but one more way to state that each of us is electively created by God, who creates only miracles. Each of us is unique and, therefore, has a distinct story. Love the world enough to share your story. You don't have to be on a soapbox to do this. Just take advantage of the occasional opportunities offered by Soul.

# STEWARDSHIP

It is important to distinguish between ownership and stewardship. Although we all feel that we are the owners of certain things, from the spiritual point of view, God owns everything. We change the composition or physical appearance of many things, but God created and is a part of every atomic particle in the universe. This includes every object and parcel of land on Earth.

God gives us the gift of stewardship. As such, we are responsible for acting as managers of some of Her possessions. The manner we choose and the methods we use in managing those possessions are important regarding their well-being. This pertains to all types of objects—a portion of the Earth's surface, a plant, a pet, our own bodies, or anything else. To be a truly responsible steward requires that we recognize the privilege of being that steward and that we do all in our power to maintain that which we steward in as close to perfect condition as possible.

The most valuable thing over which we have stewardship is ourselves. Although other objects may have great value to us, without ourselves, we cannot act as stewards over anything else. God has created each one of us independently so that He may experience humanity uniquely through each of us, giving each free will, free reign, and the gift/necessity of defining our own truth (see "Truth"). This means that each of us is to "do it" our own way. If I disagree with your decisions, I may discuss that with you to share my opinion, but I have no right or power to impose my will on you. This holds true for employees, students, spouses, other family members, even children, and, indeed, all of humankind.

This does not mean that we will not or should not attempt to influence the lives and decisions of others. We are given a type of responsibility over our children and certain other individuals with whom we have a relationship. One of the reasons for any relationship is the opportunity to offer input and thus influence how another feels about or perceives some particular situation or object. In so doing, we are attempting to influence that person's feeling of truth. But in the final analysis, that individual will decide his truth, with or without anyone else's input.

We are naturally concerned about other persons and their welfare. This is especially true with our children and other family members. Again, we have the privilege of rearing our children and teaching them what we feel are "good" values. But if, as adults, they disagree with those values and choose a path we strongly disagree with, it behooves us to consider that they have their own reasons for being here. This may involve behavior on their part that is foreign or offensive to us. I am not saying that I would stand by and watch one of my children do something seriously harmful or illegal. I am not advocating passivity here. What I am saying is that each of us is here for a purpose, and there may be times when that purpose might be at odds with anyone else's opinion or purpose. Living as members of this society, we have agreed to drive on the right side of the street and follow other rules of conduct. This is necessary and appropriate for the good of all

But when all is said and done, the only human being over which any of us has stewardship is ourself. That is the way God created us. To assume that we have control or power over any other individual is an egotistical error in perception. The implication of this is that if we have done everything possible to effect a change in someone's behavior and that behavior continues unchanged, we might best consider that, from the spiritual perspective, it might be none of our business. The agenda of this person's soul may dictate that this behavior is a necessary part of what that soul needs for its present Earth experience. I am certainly not saying you should give up if you see a loved one engaged in some horrific behavior. I am saying that if you "fail," it's not your fault and, in fact, it is very possibly spiritually none of your business.

Each of us is, then, responsible for defining our own truth. And we have the privilege of sharing it with each other, recognizing that all truths will be different and that none is more true than any other.

Thank you, God, for the privilege of life and stewardship.

# TRANSPARENCY

Transparency allows us to discover or know the truth about ourselves and others. Regarding our self, it involves wiping away any screen or filter or mask, so that we may know the truth of who or what we are and how we truly feel. It allows us to form an accurate basis from which to work in order to know and deal with self.

When we do or think something "wrong," it is easy and very common for us to blame someone else. Transparency allows us to look objectively, without bias, at the facts. One of the best ways to do this is to step outside of our self and become a nonjudgmental observer. To do this, imagine that you and all others involved are characters in a stage play. You and they continue to interact as always, but as an occurrence in a performance, not an actual occurrence in your life. Instead of having any vested interest or loyalty to the character of "you," you can now observe the transparent truth of the attitudes and true thoughts of that character. It is important to do this without judgment, for judgment distorts transparency.

Once we obtain the transparency, the deeper question is what to do with it. Before we "stepped outside of our self," we may have assigned "blame" to someone else. During our "audience participation" and objective observation, perhaps we observed that the "blame" was really ours. If we can escape ego, we can appropriately own the blame. In doing this, ego might suffer, but transparency allows us to see the undistorted truth of the matter. Amazingly, when we do this we feel more at peace with the entire situation. We have put ego in its place, and instead, own truth.

Using this same technique, imagine the entire world in a condition of transparency. For example, imagine that when you purchase a new toaster, an attached document accurately reflects costs of production at each level: the actual costs charged for mining and processing the metals and other substances used (labor and material), producing the parts from those substances, assembly, shipping and distribution, and final sale price. This would allow everyone to know percentage markup at each step. Or imagine transparency in politics, where the truth of all thoughts and motivations behind any vote or action of any elected official would be known to all, whether it involved favoritism toward a particular group, loyalty to party line, or any other bias. While we are far from that kind of transparency in this world, it is a desirable goal.

Spiritually, when we habitually allow ourselves to be transparent, we experience a much greater feeling of inner peace. Ego is replaced by a recognition of our truth, which allows us to apply energy toward treating the unbiased situation. This is quite different from using that energy to further strengthen our egos at the expense of someone else. Strengthening ego virtually always occurs at someone else's expense, and Soul is not compatible with this process.

It has been said that sometimes the truth hurts. Superficially this may seem true, but down deep it is absolutely necessary to use transparency to obtain truth. This allows each of us to determine "who I have been" in this situation and determine "who I now wish to be." It allows us to choose ego or love. We can be "right," at someone else's expense, or we can be "love," usually at no one's expense. Even though the latter choice may seem to be hurting or demeaning us, it is actually only a statement of truth. And we can much more comfortably live with that.

#  EGO

Ego gets a "bad wrap" in our society, and in the way the term is commonly used, that perception is deserved. I like to refer to the usual way society regards ego as "egotism." This is a fear-based idea that, in essence, says "look at me; I'm good!" Having a need to be "good" implies that there is something or someone else less "good" (equals "bad"). Spiritually each of us is a miracle, an elective creation of God, having our own attributes and gifts of grace in the form of talents and other characteristics.

Tribes teach us that in many instances life is a contest. There is always competition to be "better than" or "the winner." While this can provide individual motivation to excel in some aspect of life, it can also encourage a "win at any cost" attitude. This, in turn, means that to win, I might be allowed—no, even required—to win at the price of harming someone else. (In harming someone else, I am actually harming myself, but more about that in the essay on "Oneness".)

This egotism, then, supports the concept that whatever I have to do to win, or get to the top, or have more "stuff" than someone else is justified. It is fear-based, because, again, it supports the illusion that you and I are different. The bottom line is that I must take care of myself, even if doing so means "stepping on" you. While I realize this may sound extreme, I want to take it to the extreme in order to get the point across. Less extreme examples, wherein I am taught and choose to employ the Golden Rule of "do unto others" will still come down to my selfishly providing for myself first in any situation where egotism is a factor.

In our culture, then, tribes advocate egotism. We are encouraged to look and "be" better than members of other families, religions, businesses, schools, etc. If we step back and look at the result, we see further separation. This isn't working to our advantage as a society. I am, however, quick to admit that to abandon our use of egotism would require extreme changes (which I would like to see), for which society in general is not yet prepared.

The other definition of ego involves Spirituality. In order for each of us to be able to have our own identity, God gives us ego as a fingerprint. We each receive certain gifts and attributes from God. The particular combination and use of these will be determined in the final analysis by each individual. It allows us to state who and what we are at any time, not from the standpoint of "look at me," but as a statement of thanks to God for our personal composite self and the privilege of using that self in the name and to the glory of God.

Spiritual ego is the opposite of egotism. It draws us closer to God and closer to each other. It allows us to marvel at an individual's gifts and the use of them, sharing in the creativity. There is no need or place for jealousy; rather, there is a beautiful sharing in the celebration of what a particular person has accomplished with his God-given gifts. That sharing involves an intense exchange of spiritual love. It truly feels as if we are closer together in oneness, not further apart in competition.

Once more, God, thank you for performing the elective miracle of me.

#  GUILT

Guilt and anxiety represent two of humanity's most devastating causes of negative thinking. Indeed, they are at the core of most forms of dis-ease, whether viewed from physical, mental, or spiritual aspects.

Regarding guilt, a seed of discontent based on a human judgment is sown by someone else or even by self at the time of guilt's inception. This seed is then owned and nurtured by self. This is an important thing for each of us to recognize, because even though someone else may have originally provided the judgment, self owns the guilt. The other party may have forgotten about the subject or judgment shortly after it was proclaimed, but self accepted the validity of the judgment and decided to own it. From that point on, self nurtures the judgment and it becomes a monster, stealing precious health-sustaining energy.

I have been surprised by the number of people who continue to own, nourish, and sustain this monster, even when the other party has long forgotten the initial incident. Sometimes when the person experiencing the feelings of guilt asked why the judgment had been passed, the person who passed it couldn't even recall the incident. In many instances, self continues to feed this monster for years, needlessly and painfully living in a state of negativity.

(Note: In the next part of this essay, assume that "I" am the one feeling guilt or anxiety.)

It has been helpful for me to look at guilt as a tunnel. I have constructed the tunnel based on guilt. At the beginning of each day I traverse this tunnel, consciously or unconsciously, before embarking on any other tasks. The tunnel is lined with pictures of how "bad" I am, based on my perceptions of self, past and present. I therefore carry perceptions of myself that are very negative. They also are outdated and counterproductive.

Examples of the pictures might include these:

• I am told by one or both parents that I will never amount to anything, that I am a loser, or that I'll never be as good as a sibling.

• The work ethic I was taught by family or some other tribe requires that I must finish whatever job I am given by the end of the day, no matter how much is placed on my plate. Now, some 10 years later, my job involves reviewing case studies or similar documents and they are added by the dozens, making it impossible for anyone to finish the stack in a day. My work ethic is outdated and ineffective. Yet it is an integral part of my mentality and I still feel guilty, because I can't let it go.

• I have been brought up with the opposite type of work ethic, wherein I have been taught that it is OK to do a superficial, "get by" job. My employers won't be happy with this type of performance. While I might be able to understand the employer's reasoning, I still might feel that it's ok to hang on to that "just get by" ethic if it was given by my parents, whom I trusted to be truthful and nurturing.

• A guilt has stayed with me as part of a grief. If I had only done something different, someone wouldn't have died or some other bad thing wouldn't have happened. I might feed this guilt for many years, refusing to discuss it, even with myself, because of pain and embarrassment.

• Someone once told me I was inadequate at a particular skill, and I am hanging on to that belief yet wanting to perfect that skill at the present time. If I continue to see myself as not ever being able to master the skill, I am robbing myself of the opportunity.

These and more examples reflect our inability to recognize that, given the circumstances at the time of a past occurrence, we did what we felt was appropriate. Or if we didn't, we had the opportunity to learn from the experience. We can be thankful for that and let it go. We need not repeatedly "hit our thumbs in the same way with the same hammer."

If, then, we can regard incidents and perceptions from the past as what they are—incidents and perceptions from the past—and continue to use those that work for us, discarding those that don't, we can either change the pictures in the tunnel or, if that is too cumbersome, construct a new tunnel. It is extremely important that we choose not to attempt to push the old tunnel out of the way. If we do this, becoming angry or frustrated at its continued negativity, we are using even more energy to nourish it, making it grow even more. Rather, I personally regard this tunnel as something I can physically place on a desktop. It has every right to be there—after all, I created it—but for this day, rather than use the old, I am going to construct a new tunnel and choose to go through it. I say, "But you, old tunnel, are free to stay here as long as you desire. I simply will not choose you anymore, if my new one works better." The old tunnel then dies because of lack of (my directed) energy.

As human beings, we are alive because of an energy flow. Several mechanisms allow energy to flow through us, be processed by our individual truth, then continue from us in terms of words, thoughts, emotions, and actions. There is plenty of this energy to sustain each cell in our physical body, as well as our mental and spiritual well-being, if the energy is allowed to flow freely. If we allow some of that energy to feed the monster mentioned above, we are diverting the energy needed for our well-being to sustain the monster instead.

The difficulty here lies in our inability to recognize and release perceptions that are no longer (indeed, might never have been) useful to us. One method I have employed is to view my life as a theater production. I am the author of the play. All those with whom I interact are members of the cast of characters. I can step outside of myself and sit in the theater, simply observing the interactions of the players. Because I am the author, I know the thoughts and motivations of each. I don't want to judge any member's motivations or actions—just observe. I can then choose to allow the character of "me" to try different reactions and responses if it seems desirable to do so. I can also "get inside" my character to observe why that character feels a particular way about anything. This is helpful in getting back to influences from the past and recognizing that I might be feeling a particular way because of loyalty or obligation rather than love of myself, which is the only motivation that can be successful.

Before I can love others, I must first love myself, or the whole of my life is a facade. But that was the subject of another essay (see "Love of Self"

#  ANXIETY

Anxiety has much in common with guilt (see "Guilt") in its ability to produce negative thoughts and discomfort. It takes us out of the "Now," places us in the realm of the future, and is usually concerned with fear-based thoughts I refer to as "what ifs."

In the anxious state, our minds truly are not a positive part of our existence; we place great importance on the mind's ability to come up with the right answer to keep us on a correct path. The problem with this is in our not recognizing that the mind is a great part of our creative mechanism: The way we create is by thought, word, and action. If we allow our minds to continue to meander from the present into the future, using fear as motivation for thoughts, we can produce a great deal of negativity for our lives.

I want to distinguish between two types of what I shall call concern. The first is a positive type, the concern that I use in treating a patient: Will I arrive at the correct diagnosis, show proper compassion, use correct types of treatment, etc. This type of concern has an end point. I'll say or do what I feel appropriate, make an entry into a chart, and move on. The second type of concern is the opposite; it has no end point. Usually I call it a "what if." What if this or that country throws the bomb? What if I have a flat tire on the way to that meeting I'm chairing? What if something happens to one of my kids at school? This is worry, and it is an enemy of love and peace. Again, it removes us from the "Now" and puts us in a negative state of mind. We then create negative outcomes in our perceptions and thus draw negative situations from the Universal Energy.

We can start the day with "Good morning, God!" or with "Good God, morning!" We have all had the feeling at some time that this isn't going to be a good day—and it wasn't. We create our reality each instant, and what that reality will be depends precisely on our perceptions.

If I can allow myself to somehow make lemonade out of the worst lemon I receive, I am a long way toward getting rid of anxiety. Occasionally I have talked with patients about birds, reminding them of how God seems to let these creatures live by the moment (in the "Now"), and they seem to make it just fine. Some patients look at me as if my head is in the sand. How can I compare an unthinking bird to a human being? But if we reflect on the reason each of us is here in the first place, it starts to make better sense. I am here as an elective creation of God, so that God can experience humanity through the unique experience of me. I will be here as long as God chooses to have it be so; and when He no longer does, my mind and body will change energy form, or die. Until then, there will be plenty of opportunities for me to create because, again, that's why I am here. I don't have to pull myself through quicksand with my self-constructed "what ifs." Instead, I can look at each situation as an opportunity to deal with in a particular way as a learning experience. Then I simply continue until the next opportunity presents itself. Isn't this the way the birds do it? Isn't that a more functional thing for which to strive?

I'm not saying we shouldn't look ahead or have some sort of plan. Nor am I saying that we can lead stress-free lives. But I am saying that we can identify what we feel is a problem, use whatever resources we have to come to at least an initial solution to that problem (end point), then take whatever action is appropriate and move on. This doesn't deny stresses in our lives. But it does point out that each of us has the ability to make a monster out of the stress with our self-imposed "what ifs."

To you who respond with "but you don't understand the problems I face," let me say this: Do you have a roof over your head? Do you have some sort of daily sustenance? Do you have a place where you can get some sleep at night? Do you continue to be physically alive? These are the gifts from God that seem to be common to us and to the birds.

Anxiety, then, is a state in which we place ourselves, removing ourselves from the "Now," and focusing on the future with a non-joyful perception. It has been associated with negative impacts on our health: elevated blood pressure, increased incidence of heart attacks and strokes, ulcers and other gastrointestinal maladies, to name a few that have been documented.

How do we prevent anxiety? Read the essay titled "Now"

#  FORGIVENESS

To forgive is certainly not to forget. Forgetting would erase the opportunity to experience a valuable occurrence. No, to forgive involves a redirection of the Universal Energy that sustains each of us in every moment of our existence. In order to successfully describe forgiveness I must reiterate principles from several other essays.

In a state of perfectly balanced physical, mental, and spiritual health, energy flows through each of us magically. Its flow is unobstructed, and it sustains and nourishes every atom of each cell and every waveform of each thought and emotion, bathing each of us and our own energy with a richness rivaling the beauty of a spectacular sunrise.

Prerequisite to being in this perfect state of health is being in the Now. This is the ever-elusive condition wherein we just allow self to be—to be fully here, not somewhere else in thought. We don't allow ourselves to have thoughts of anything past or present.

To forgive is to not allow ourselves to direct any of the constantly flowing Universal Energy to feed negative or fear-based perceptions. These perceptions are constructed and owned by each of us and are the result of fear-based use of our minds.

Our tribes are prominent in the concept of forgiveness. We are encouraged by each tribe to establish certain relationships. We expect our families to nourish us physically, emotionally, and spiritually; however, we see ourselves as different from each other. Although this is not Spiritual Truth, we accept it because it is what we are taught and what we experience through our five senses. Our tribes "teach" us what is "true" by accentuating the importance of and manipulating our use of these senses. In our daily world, our use of the scientific method presents us with studies that demonstrate certain consequences when we engage in certain behaviors; for example, "Take this or that medicine and you will live longer or better." Yet each of these studies depends on the use of our senses and our minds, and each study's credibility or outcome lives only a relatively short time. I can't tell you how many menopausal women I have almost automatically placed on hormone replacement therapy in the past, going along with what was felt to be the most appropriate medical thing to do. More recently studies have shown that in many cases this might actually be harmful, not helpful, for their health.

Tribes, then, encourage us to use our tribe-conditioned minds and our five senses to define what is true. Tribes tell us how and what to believe. They will even impose penalties on us if we refuse.

Mystics, on the other hand, both ancient and modern, urge us to consider following a different path. They tell us that the door to "my truth" lies within each of us, that each of us has a personal truth that is in some way(s) different from that of any other person. This is not New Age religion. Many Masters have communicated this concept in many forms through the ages. It has to do with inspiration, which means "to be in spirit," and with acceptance, ownership, nurturing, and sharing the results of that inspiration. Beethoven and other great composers, Einstein and other great scientists, many of the great visual artists—indeed, a great multitude of those responsible for many of humankind's benefits, attest to the validity of the path of inspiration.

When we place the most credibility on ego-based mind and body, we are betting that our scientific studies and mind-based knowledge will eventually be able to define truth. This cannot happen. God created this physical universe as a constantly changing existence. Our physically oriented truth, therefore, changes necessarily and constantly. This is truly a gift, for God gives each of us opportunities to be factors in some of these changes. We can influence the changes as well as being influenced by them. We can then use another wonderful gift, memory, which reminds us of choices we've made in other situations that resulted in certain outcomes that may or may not have had desirable consequences. This allows us to "learn" certain patterns. We can incorporate these choices into our habit patterns, if they work for us, or use different choices if they don't.

If we have been influenced by any tribe to look upon ourselves or others in a judgmental manner, fear has been the motivating energy in that judgment. If, for instance, I have been told by a parent that I will never amount to anything, and if I continue to believe that concept, I'll eventually grow resentful of that perception. But if I continue to own that perception, I must realize that it is I who have decided to do so. That the perception was ever a fact was information given me by someone else—someone on whom I may have depended for nurturing and encouragement. That person may have given me that perception while in a state of anger or frustration and may not even recall it the next day or even the next hour. But the seed has been planted, and I have continued to let it grow. I have created, and continue to own and nurture, a monster. Again, it is important to understand that this creation belongs to me, not to the person who originally suggested it to me.

I stated above that as long as energy is allowed to flow through us freely, without any obstruction at any level, we are in a state of perfect health. When we divert some of that energy to a monster we create based on someone else's judgment, we are robbing ourselves of this health-sustaining energy. Whenever we are not in the Now, we are diverting some of this energy away from our health.

Any negative thoughts we have about the past are associated with guilt—either our own or guilt we assign to someone else. The only way to get rid of this guilt is to stop the flow of energy to the monster. We want not to forget what has happened in the past, but to allow ourselves to understand that we don't need to continue to feed the monster. We can rid our self of the monster, not by trying to push it away (which gives it more credibility and power), but by recognizing that it is our personal creation. We have chosen in the past to use it as a way of life. But at any time we can create a new and different choice or perception of self. We need no longer see self as a loser. God doesn't create losers, only miracles. We can allow our self and everyone and everything else to be considered one of those miracles.

Forgiveness, then, allows us to love ourselves and others enough to not keep reliving past events in such a way that they become negative baggage. It involves actually cutting off the supply of energy that has been feeding the monster. But the only way we can accomplish this is to allow the monster to be in the foreground, face it, and state that we are choosing not to use it at this particular "Now." Instead, we create a new concept of our self by constructing a new choice, which we mentally place beside the old monster (which has never worked for us). We then state to the old that we are going to choose the new concept instead: "But you, Old, stay here in the foreground as long as you like; we're simply not going to use you any more." Now, devoid of energy, the old withers and dies. Again, we don't push it away or sweep it under the rug. That would be giving it even more of our energy. By using pictures like this our mind has something it can grasp...and use.

Forgiveness allows me to more successfully be in the Now...which allows me to move ahead...without baggage.

#  HEARTMATH

Oh, if we could only have access to the wisdom of the intelligence of the Universe!! How do birds know when and where to migrate? How does a newborn know exactly how to feed at mother's breast? How is it that the earth's rotation is so perfect and its revolution around the sun is so dependably predictable?

To me those are "God things" that our human mind won't probably figure out—and that's ok with me—for now.

Actually, we do have at least partial access to significant aspects of this intelligence! It is through the heart.

It turns out that the heart has a brain. There are brain cells in each of our hearts. A figure of about 40,000 brain cells in each heart. This heart brain has access to the Wisdom of the Universe. It is not hindered by ego. As I have mentioned in other essays, it is one of the main conduits of Love. While our head brain insists on analyzing everything to determine how things work, our heart brain already "knows" and can communicate to each of us through intuition.

There is an institute in California called HeartMath. The purpose of this organization is to help individuals and groups incorporate the Wisdom of the Universe in their earthly undertakings. I heartily urge each of you to Google HeartMath for more details on how this can be accomplished, and through a relatively easy method we can allow the heart brain to communicate with the head brain as well as other parts of our bodies, allowing for much healthier and more efficient functioning of ALL of our physiologic systems.

HeartMath has accomplished wonderful things throughout many places in our world—both through individuals and organizations. Their knowledge has positively impacted education, medicine, corporations, and even government agencies when appropriately applied.

I cannot urge strongly enough that you become more knowledgeable about HeartMath. (heartmath.com)

# TEEN YEARS

During the latter years of my practice I was particularly impressed with some of the plights of teen (and pre-teen) agers. I cannot put myself in your place, for things have drastically changed since I was your age. But perhaps I can at least give you some suggestions based on some solid beliefs.

I'll skip directly to the bottom line. My goal here is to have each of you feel really good about yourself. For some of you this might seem silly; others might feel that it is nearly impossible.

If you have read previous chapters in this book you know that I believe in an unconditionally loving creator. I look at everything created by the creator as a miracle. This includes every one of you/us. When we are born we inherently know this,

that we come from and ARE, inherently, LOVE. Soon after our birth we are influenced by "tribe" members about the tribes and about how we SHOULD feel about ourselves. (see tribes) Regarding the latter, a "rosy" picture isn't usually the result. So others convince us that we are anything but miracles.

This isn't to say that we are lily-white angels. Often what we do or say is anything but helpful for our self or our group. But that is based on ego (see ego).

Please note that it's what we are "taught" by others that is usually one of the most important factors in our opinions about ourselves. And we habitually BELIEVE what we are taught—whether the teachings are accurate or not. We seek to be members of groups that make us feel good about ourselves—or at least don't threaten us in any major way. Group support is very important to all of us.

It is very easy for us to "get on the band wagon," joining a group that is critical of an innocent individual who is innocently trying to "do what's right." As a member of the group, one feels safe. As the innocent, one feels bullied. When we look at both parties as an outside observer, our initial reaction can be to support one side or the other, depending on our point of view. But usually there is at least a twinge of support for the one who feels bullied. This feeling of support comes from a different source than our head brains. Which leads to the next point:

Amazingly, we have more brains in our bodies than just the one in our head. It has been scientifically documented that our hearts have their own brains. (see HeartMath) Our head brains contain all the info we've acquired since our birth. Some of this info comes from tribal teachings, some from personal experiences, and at least some from intuitions. The heart brain's info doesn't come from what we have learned since birth using our five senses. It comes from the same source as the Creator. I mentioned above that at the time of our birth we know that we are and come from love. This isn't romantic love—it goes far beyond that. It is positive energy that recognizes the value of each of us and many other elements of our universe. It "cares" about what is happening in all aspects of the universe. Its desire is for the ultimate outcome to be what is best for the entire universe. This includes experiencing joy by all living creatures and being in harmony with everything else.

Returning to our desire to be approved by and be a part of groups, the energy of the universe nudges us toward being a oneness. Putting our hands (and heads) together with the idea that we care about "the other" as an important part of this oneness just like we are an important part of it.

Each of us is an individual part of this oneness. The way the oneness will "work" is to have us understand that we can respect the importance of EVERYONE—our neighbors as well as ourselves. If we can love ourselves (not with egoTISM—see ego) with gratitude to our creator for the privilege of the gift of life as an individual and respect ourselves in the same way we might have at the time of our birth, then extend that love and respect to all others, we can find ourselves experiencing joy instead of frustration and fear.

So realizing that we strongly desire to be valued members of a group, why not create or choose a group that supports "the other" the "innocent" I mentioned above. Members of this group can represent themselves as being supportive of those who feel bullied. It would mean someone having the courage to extend a hand to "innocent" when others are bullying. It would require swallowing hard but stepping up to the plate in support. But the one who steps up to the plate has the support of his or her own group. I asked for help with this from my teen grandchildren, and they shared information that such groups exist. Two high school and middle school examples are GSA (Genders and Sexualities Alliance) and APAT (All People All the Time). I feel very encouraged that these, and hopefully other similar groups, offer positive paths for all. I would also offer my hope that even the bullies might find much joy in being a part of these groups. The bullies need help in feeling good about themselves too—just not at the expense of others.

# "I CAN'T"

"I can't" represents the beginning of many sentences shared with me by patients. That they feel frustrated and even defeated by many of their experiences is certainly understandable. Yielding to the derogatory judgments by others allows them to sink even deeper into the quicksand of despair. This leads to further pain through mental anguish. Being in this chronic pain leads to seeing themselves as victims, which in turn results in feeling sorry for self.

I am certainly not saying that feeling sorry for self is inappropriate when one is in pain. When a child has an accident leading to pain the natural reaction is often to run to mom and have her kiss it and make it well. That is helpful for the acute pain. But if the child feels so much better from mom's attention that he continues after the physical healing to "need" that attention it can lead to an unhealthy dependence on mom for even truly minor decisions.

No matter what the inciting cause, living in a world of "I can't" doesn't work for anyone. When I see this in patients I guide them to a place where they can identify some of the things they CAN do. Each "can" involves making a choice, starting with getting out of bed in the morning. From that point choices can involve many aspects of their lives. Can I brush my teeth? Wash my face? Say hello to someone else? Even share a smile with someone? Can I walk? If not, is there anything else I CAN do, even lacking the ability to walk?

Putting themselves in a positive frame of mind with "can's" allows them to feel much better about self and certainly feel more positive energy in their interactions with others. Even just a simple "hello" accompanied by a smile can be a very positive start. In some cases I even go so far as to suggest that they stand in front of a mirror in the morning, look into the eyes they see in the mirror, smile, and say (out loud) "good morning, my friend." Eventually in some cases this can also lead to "I love you."

This, then, is the opposite of "I can't." It is the self-realization that all humans have the innate ability to see things through love (realizing that they CAN) do some things instead of through fear (feeling that all is lost and there is nothing they can do). For support groups there might even be a "can club."

# WHY ARE WE HERE?

"Why am I here?" This question addresses what most us have been pondering for many years. Whether we're highly educated philosophers or schooled only in the hard knocks of life, each of us surely has thoughts at some time concerning this question.

I can think of no better answer than the one offered by Neale Donald Walsch in his Conversations with God, Book One. To paraphrase, I am here to be the greatest version of the grandest vision I have about who I am. I view myself transparently and look at how I feel about love versus fear, how I choose to regard ego, and all other parameters discussed in these essays (and more, if you care to add), and decide how I will respond to any particular opportunity presented to me.

A favorite example of mine is the story of "a walk":

Sometimes I have a time between scheduled clients at the office when I choose to take a 30-minute walk. When I start the walk, I may find myself not in the "Now," and if this is the case, my mind is not on the walk but on the past or future. I might find myself five minutes into the walk and awaken to the "now," wondering how I got this far without even noticing the cracks or lines in the sidewalk or anything else in my surroundings. If, instead, I allow myself to be in the "now" by looking around and being aware of my surroundings when I begin, I am aware of trees, lawns, buildings, traffic, and the whole of everything in that environment as it presently exists. I might then observe that there is an elderly woman who appears to be about 85 years old, about to cross a busy street at an intersection. Because it doesn't matter to me which direction I travel on my walk, I decide to see if I might be able to help her across the street. I approach her and inquire as to whether she is planning to cross.

"Yes, I am," she replies.

"I am crossing too; would you be my date?" I ask.

She looks at me rather puzzled and with one eyebrow raised. "Your date?"

"Yes, would you take my arm and walk across with me?"

"Well, OK," she replies cautiously.

About 10 paces later, I ask, "Shall we continue to walk, or should we skip?"

"What?"

"We can walk or skip. Didn't you ever skip?"

"Well, sure, when I was 5 or 6 years old, but my knees and back aren't as good as they used to be."

"OK, then let's just walk."

I continue, with gentle humor, to banter with her until we reach the other side. When we are on the curb and off the street, I turn to her and gently touch her cheek, encouraging her to look into my eyes, at which time I say, "Thank you for being my date and crossing with me. I enjoyed it very much." We each tear just a little, basking in the love each of us feels. It has been a neat and loving experience—truly a win-win. Each of us parts richer in love and experience than we were five minutes before.

This little lady was an opportunity presented by my soul to be the greatest version of the grandest vision I had about who I was at that time. I didn't have to even walk over and approach her. I certainly wouldn't be judged harshly by anyone had I not done so. But being in the "Now" and feeling (more than seeing) an opportunity, I acted on instinct.

Being the greatest version, then, doesn't mean we need to accomplish something lofty such as discovering a new element or manufacturing process. It certainly doesn't mean feeding ego by needing to look better in someone else's eyes. It means seizing an opportunity to let the love of God flow through us in some sort of relationship with others.

Burnout is related to this. If, no matter what we are doing as a vocation in life, we can recognize that it isn't just our technical know-how that's important but how we use that know-how to have an interpersonal relationship, we'll realize the relationship itself is more important than everything we "know" about the subject. Statements made by those on their deathbeds reveal that it is remembered experiences in relationships that are most treasured...not technical knowledge or financial status.

If we can train and permit ourselves to "be in the Now" most, if not all of the time, and to observe what is going on around us and see that there are many seemingly small ways to express God's love flowing through us, we are, indeed, doing what we are here to do.

A final point I wish to make addresses the concern of "not why we are here." We are not here to attain what we might regard as a happy outcome in every instance in our lives. When we visualize a desired result with passion, knowing that it will become fact, we must then sincerely "hand it over" to God or the Universal Energy, with the commitment that this desired outcome materialize only if it is in the best interest of the entire Universe; also, that it occur at the time best suited to the Universe. This may even mean that it will occur in some future incarnation rather than in this one. And this may explain many of our life occurrences.

The privilege of life is, indeed, the most precious thing each of us experiences.

Thank you, God, for the elective creation of Humanity. You need nothing and certainly didn't have to create us. But you loved yourself enough to cause it to occur. And you loved us enough to let us share these miracles. We therefore truly cherish you...and ourselves.

Amen.

# BIBLIOGRAPHY

"Conversations With God" and other works by Neale Donald Walsch

"There's a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem" and other works by Wayne Dyer

"How to Know God" and other works by Deepak Chopra

"The Power of Now" and other works by Eckhart Tolle

"Anatomy of the Spirit" and other works by Caroline Myss

"Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting" by Lynn Grabhorn

"Love Without Conditions" and other works by Paul Ferrini

"Return of the Revolutionaries" by Walter Semkiw

"Healing Words" and other works by Larry Dossey

"Wherever You Go, There You Are" by Jon Kabat-Zinn

"The Relaxation Response" and other works by Herbert Benson

"The Method of Centering Prayer" by Thomas Keating (www.centeringprayer.com)

"The HeartMath Solution" by Doc Childre and Howard Martin

# OTHER RECOMMENDED READING

"Spirituality for Dummies" by Sharon Janis

"Power vs Force" by David Hawkins

"The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz

# About the Author

Dr. Jim Bell graduated from the State University of Iowa Medical School in 1960. After one year of rotating internship in Ogden, Utah at St. Benedict's Hospital, and two years in the US Navy at San Diego as General Medical Officer, he began General and Family Medical Practice in Des Moines, Iowa. After more than 40  
years in active clinical practice, Dr. Bell limited his practice to "counseling" patients. Dr. Bell has been a member of the American Medical Association, Iowa Medical Society, Polk County Medical Society, American Academy of Family  
Practice, Iowa Academy of Family Practice, American Holistic Medical Association and Flying Physicians Association of America. He is a Diplomat of the American Board of Family Practice and a Diplomat of the American Board of Holistic Medicine.

Dr. Bell States, "I have a sincere desire to share some of my personal experiences and encourage future physicians, residents, and virtually all health care providers in the use of Spirituality in their practices. I do NOT approach this from any specific religion. The Spirituality to which I refer is a closeness of each of us to a Supreme Creator if, indeed, one believes in a Creator.

It has been my experience that patients are very open to this concept; indeed, they welcome it with open arms."

