(upbeat music)
(cards shuffling)
(people laughing)
- Okay okay okay.
I'll tell you what "Getting Jiggy Wit it"
is actually about, okay?
He can't say sex.
He's Will Smith, he's gotta keep it clean.
You know, he's not the fanny prince.
He's not the fuck prince.
He's the Fresh Prince,
And I mean, the freshest of
the fucking fresh. (laughs)
- Didn't he have that song "Wild Thing"?
That was all about sex.
- No, he did "Funky Cold Medina".
- Okay, shut the fuck up!
"Wild Thing" and "Funky Cold Medina"
are by Tone Loc, not Will Smith.
And now I've totally
lost my train of thought.
- I gotta say, I'm Vince Vaughn,
and I can't follow what's going on here.
I got Tone Loc coming in one ear.
I got Big Willy Style
coming out the other.
What am I, making a mixtape?
- I don't even know how you schmucks
are even talking about this.
We don't even have dates
for the bank robbery yet.
And it's tonight!
- Who to the what?
- Wait a second. This guy doesn't know?
This guy doesn't know.
Hey everybody, this fucking
guy doesn't know! (laughs)
What the fuck, you don't know?
- Okay, okay, calm down Kurt Cocaine.
It's getting a little grungy in here.
(all laughing)
- All right, new guy.
I'm gonna give you the download.
We rob banks, and when we rob banks,
we do it with some cute
kittens by our side.
You know what I'm saying?
- Every night, new bank, new chick.
It turns them on, okay?
- We bust in, we bust out
and we bust all over the bust.
- Last week, we robbed a
bank, I had this cute kitten,
she gaked all over the place.
Let's just say they weren't
unmarked bills anymore, right?
- [Jackie] Right?
- So what, I need a date now?
Who are you, my mother?
Telling me who I need to date?
I sign up to rob a bank,
now I'm on a dating show?
What is this?
Singled Out?
Who are you?
Jenny McCarthy?
And what does that make you?
The other guy?
What is this?
A table?
What's six times seven?
42?
- Okay, let's sweeten
the pot a little bit.
- Okay.
- You see that chickie over there?
(ice rattling)
I got two tickets to the
Mighty Ducks, no not the movie,
the new hockey team in Anaheim,
that say that you won't get
that cute kitten's number.
- What am I, accepting a bet?
What am I, standing up?
What am I, taking a step?
What am I, taking another step?
So, what are we doing?
Flirting?
what're you doing tonight?
Me?
- I mean look at this guy right here.
Look at this guy right here okay?.
This is the essence of cool.
It's like if Mozart come in riding
KITT from Knight Rider, okay?.
- [Jackie] Right.
- Right, okay?
- So, what do you say?
Are you, uh, jiggy with it?
Or, uh, what are we talking?
- Um, no thanks.
- Oh, ouch-a.
- Ooh
- Ouchies.
- What am I feeling, pain?
What is this, rejection?
- He's also Vince Vaughn.
- Oh I think I get what the joke is here.
You're parodying two '90s
movies at the same time.
- What am I, in a movie with Deadpool?
- Actually, you're the
guy who's about to get
his throat slashed while I
steal that briefcase of money
set to the dulcet tones of
"Funky Cold Medina" by Tone Loc.
("Funky Cold Medina" by Tone Loc)
- See this guy gets it.
(sword slashing)
