"Dr. Strange" is the new Marvel film
starring a character just about as popular as...
Ant-Man...
the film stars Beezlebub Candygram
the film stars Danglerack Cuckooclock
the film stars Brewery Coggleswort
the film stars Bumberstump Cottagecheese
the film stars Boilerdang Curdlemilk
the film stars Buckingham Cuckatoo
Burberry Coochyrash
Rumblesack Crumplebutt
Danglerack Crumplesack
as doctor strange
everyone's favourite Marvel character
Before I saw this movie people told me this film was like being on LSD
When the film first started I was like... "wow, this is very experimental"
turns out the screen was broken
or maybe this is just part of the movie
it was very weird
So this happened...
and then the... the trailers started
there was only 2 trailers, and then the movie glitched out
like a second into it
and all the lights came back on
This was a very interesting choice by Marvel to do this
I gotta agree with the reviews that say this is Marvel's most daring film yet
I mean what kind of film starts like this
so then we were just sitting in the darkness for... like 10 minutes
everyone's like "what the fuck is the movie gonna start"
and then the movie started...
in 3D
and we're at a 2D screening
so they had to stop the movie
and then that "first look" shit started playing
and then it stopped...
"and it's on sale now at FathomEvents.com"
and then we waited in there for 5 more minutes
and then it started playing again
and then it stopped...
"I guess I gotta join"
and then finally, all the lights dimmed down
we sat in blackness for about 2 seconds
and then the lights came back on
[laughs from behind camera]
so then apparently the only movie that worked on the projector
was the 3D version of the movie
so a dude came in and started handing out 3D glasses to everybody
and I had no choice but to see it in 3D
so you guys are in for a special treat
because I get to review this film... as a 3D film
and as a film
First of all don't bother with the 3D
it sucks
Here's the thing about 3D
It takes a few seconds for your brain to process 3D
When you watch a movie like Avatar, or Life of Pi
the 3D works really well
because all the shots are... longer than a few seconds
if you were to say... watch the Bourne movie in 3D
you'd probably have a fucking headache
because your brain can't process that information that quick
same thing with this
so that's all I gotta say about 3D
but what about the movie?
did I like the movie?
y..yeah...
I'll start with all the bad stuff
first of all Doctor Strange, as a character
is really a douche bag
"I reject it because I do not believe in fairy tales about chakoorahs or energy
or the power of belief, there is no such thing as spirit"
people told me he was gonna be kind of a Tony Stark-ish asshole
and Tony Stark is a likeable... fun...
charismatic asshole
Doctor Strange is just an asshole
for most of the movie he is just an extremely unlikable person
and like through the whole movie you just want him to be grateful
or... sympathetic towards something
and you're like... "come on dude"
this ancient society... like has all these... sacred rules
and Doctor Strange even though he's like a new student just constantly breaks all of them
like there's this book that they don't want you to touch cause it could break the space time continuum basicly
and he just touches it and fucks around with it
and then they catch him doing it
and he's like, "what I just wanted to, you know, fuck around a little bit"
he doesn't even like apologize for anything
towards the end of the movie the character becomes likable
but for the most part, I really didn't sympathize with Doctor Strange at all
I liked the other characters in the film much more than him
I think they could have done a better job adding some humanity to Doctor Strange
and giving him... a little more charisma
"he is arrogant to the point of being unlikable, but yet, somehow you should still like him"
this movie really could have been helped by some cards
telling me what date it is
because the whole movie feels like it happens in about a month
cause it starts with Doctor Strange getting into a accident
which causes his hands to be fucked up
and then like 2 scenes later, he's had 7 surgeries done
and he has no more money cause he's spent it all on surgeries
and you're like, "when did that happen, it's been 2 minutes"
and then this part is well paced, he get's to the... the society or whatever
and they give him a bunch of training
and it's like 10 minutes of him training, and he doesn't know anything
he can't figure anything out
and then eventually there's this scene where Tilda Swinton sticks him on mount Everest right
and he has to figure out how to get back on his own
by making a portal
and instead of showing him... like figuring it out
they cut to Tilda Swinton just waiting for him
cause they think it's funny...
but it's not funny, I want to see what's going on with Doctor Strange
he's the character that's trying to figure this out
that's the interesting part
then he finally makes it through the portal
and then like 2 minutes later... Doctor Strange knows everything
he know's how to make portals, he know's how to make weapons
he know's how to break through the space time contiuum
he's read every book
and Tilda Swinton comes in like
"when you first got here you knew nothing, and now you know so much"
this could have been fixed by like 10 more minutes
of scenes of him trying to figure out his powers, learn how they work
this may sound like a weird complaint but the movie is too short
we don't get enough time...
with him
and instead of focusing on interesting stuff like that
the movie focuses on... these comedy scenes
which don't work at all
the comedy in this movie falls really flat
there's this really really bad scene with Beyonce
Doctor Strange comes in, and calls the librarian dude... Beyonce
and the following scene the librarian is like... listening to Beyonce music
as Doctor Strange is stealing books
and it's so cringey and bad
there's a few other little things that bother me throughout the film
but those were the main problems I had
ok so so far I did a lot of complaining
and this movie has a decent amount of flaws
but on the other hand it has so many great moments
everything single action scene in this movie... is amazing
this is some of the best action I've scene in a movie, in a while
probably since "Mad Max: Fury Road", honestly
it's not as good as "Mad Max: Fury Road" but the action scenes were generally impressive
and it's very hard to impress me with action scenes
they mess with gravity, and time
there's a whole action scene where they're running through the city and the city is like folding in on itself
and gravity is constantly changing
there's action scenes where time is stopping and going in reverse
and there fighting as like cars are going in reverse on the road
it's really impressive stuff
and the effects team that worked on this, deserve so much praise
because they did an amazing job
it's worth seeing this movie just for the action scenes
it makes up for the weak writing and character development a lot
my favourite character in this film, is Tilda Swinton
Tilda Swinton is that kind of actor who, fully gets invested in the role she's playing
and she has the best written character in the film
and she's really dedicated to this
you can tell she is reserved and kind, but she is extremely dangerous when she has to be
her performance is so subtle and well done, I loved her in this
[Incomprehensible reading of name] is good in it too
the guy who played Wong is pretty good , even though he has some of the worst jokes in the movie
as far as romances goes in these Marvel movies
Benedict Cumberbatch and Rachel McAdams isn't the worst pairing
cause she's not a love interest necessarily, they're more friends
because Doctor Strange is such an asshole he would never have a love interest
which I liked
the villain is flat, sure... He's not the worst Marvel villain by far
at least you understand what the hell he's trying to do
even though I complained about the pacing earlier, the movie doesn't feel too long at all
if anything it's too short
because we needed more time to develop Doctor Strange as a character and show him training
but I don't think I would cut out anything
aside from some... bad comedy scenes
I admire Marvel for trying something different
this is a very odd concept for a movie
and I admire them, because this was probably extremely hard to pull off
and not make it... really silly
I really just had a problem with the writing, which is, you know, a big complaint
It's not a perfect movie, I wouldn't say it's a great movie
if I were to rank it on the marvel scale
I'd say it's like around here, somewhere
I want to give it a 7, but...
it's just...
it's not, that good
I've been swapping between 6 and 7 all day
not that these number scores matter even
"I came at Doctor Strange, um, and the comics of Doctor Strange through
people being interested in me for the role in the film
and...
I found him...
incredibly arrogant"
