"Whether it is uncle or aunt,
whether it is uncle or aunt."
"Whoever it may be."
"Ramji has a spice for everyone."
"Ramji has a spice for everyone."
"Key to every lock."
"Lock to every key."
"Key to every lock."
"Lock to every key."
"His servings are suited
as per hunger."
"Ramji has a spice for everyone."
Very good.
"Ramji has a spice for everyone."
"Key to every lock."
"Lock to every key."
"Key to every lock."
"Lock to every key."
"He's associated
with a family of cooks."
"For generations together.."
"..the art of cookery runs
in their blood."
"He's associated
with a family of cooks."
"Though he's a toad in a well,
he's the king of the well."
"The whole well praises him."
"He has spent many a years
grilling himself.."
"..in mastering the
art of grilling."
"Ramji has a spice for everyone."
"Ramji has a spice for everyone."
"He had the responsibility
of marrying off his sister."
"Day and night this thought
is on his mind."
Hey, little one. Isn't he good?
"He has this art in him."
You like him, don't you?
"He went for a spin in just a turn."
"He went for a spin in just a turn."
"He has this art in him.
"He casts the spell
and fills every moment with love."
"What's use is good food
if it can't lift your spirits?"
"Whoever it may be."
"Ramji has a spice for everyone."
Here you are, Ramji.
Here, take this.
- No keep it.
And go.
- Thank you very much.
"Key to every lock."
"Lock to every key."
"Key to every lock."
"Lock to every key."
"Key to every lock."
"Lock to every key."
"Key to every lock.
Lock to every key."
"His servings are suited to hunger."
"Ramji has..Ramji has.."
"Ramji has a spice for everyone."
"His servings are suited to hunger."
"Ramji has a spice for everyone."
"Ramji has a spice for everyone."
"Ramji has a spice for everyone."
'In those days Gopal Narayan
Tiwari was well renowned.'
'He was a very well known cook.'
'God has his ways.
He died in a kitchen too.'
'At Jhullan's wedding,
in a pot of green pea gravy.'
'He breathed his last
clutching his chest.'
'At that time Ramji was
12 years old..'
'..and Parvati, his younger sister
was just seven years old.'
'That day, Ramji threw
his text books and note books..
..and stepped into
his father's shoes.'
'He has turned out to be
a better chef than his father.'
'And he has just one dream..
..to organise a lavish
wedding for Parvati.'
'He hasn't ever spend
a penny on himself.'
'He saved everything
for Parvati's wedding.'
'And today that
day has finally arrived.'
'The wedding is so grand that the
entire village is watching wide-eyed.'
What is this, Aunt?
Again the same story?
Grandpa, grandma,
Mr. Pandey is here.
Please come.
- Yes.
Mr. Pandey greetings.
- See me at the factory tomorrow.
Greetings.
- Welcome.
No. Right now,
I'm at a family function.
Where has this Radhe disappeared?
He'll ruin my reputation completely.
Congratulations Mr. Mishra.
Hey, Papua.
- Yes.
Did you see Radhe?
- No. I didn't see him.
Where did he go?
God bless you.
- Be happy.
May God bless you with
lots of kids, child.
My son gave away all the money.
The Lord only knows, what
sacrifice my son must have made..
..to collect so much money.
- Thank you very much.
Radhe.. Radhe..
"Arra rocks, Baliya rocks.."
What's the matter? Any problem?
I don't know where that
Radhe has disappeared?
Radhe? The barber?
Yes.
- There, he is sitting.
Two batches of guests have finished
eating but he's still gorging on.
I've been looking for him
all over the place..
..and he's sitting here
and belching.
I will.. - Does the bride's
father-in-law need a shave?
I'd be blessed if he doesn't
shave me off. - What?
What is it dear?
So much time to count it?
I think you're
counting it peacefully.
I'm not being able to face her
father-in-law since morning. - Why not?
I had to borrow money from Radhe
and give him the dowry. - What?
Then what was that which I gave him,
wrapped in a red cloth. Ramji..
I'm almost done, father. It is 251.
Have you confirmed that it is
the right amount? - Yes father.
Now keep it in the cupboard
and lock it, all right.
I'll go to the bank tomorrow morning
and deposit it.
In a bank?
I'm sorry to interrupt, father.
But there is no need to go that far.
We will call Mr. Chaurasia here
and have it done.
Will you have raw betel
nut or roasted? - Betel nut.
Are you out of your mind?
Hey, wait.
- You're the limit.
What had we decided?
I was ready to marry your daughter
without having a look at her. Why?
So that I could use the dowry money
you would give me..
..to pay for Parvati's dowry.
And you are not at all concerned.
Give me the money.
What is this? A bank draft?
You're the limit.
She eloped and took the money
along with her too.
She writes that she won't marry
a stinking cook like you.
Do you think I'm a fool, like you?
Did you think I won't know
the difference between..
..a betel leaf and a note?
Look Ramji, if I wish..
..I can ruin your
reputation right now.
Look at my son.
Is he lying on the footpath?
He reads weather
report on television.
The weather condition.
The chief minister doesn't fly
in his helicopter till he hears him.
If you had any problem,
you could have told me.
We could have thought
of something else.
But I don't understand
this betel leaf.
Forgive us.
We were hoping to get the money
from somewhere, but we didn't.
That's where everything went wrong.
He has arranged for everything..
..made the wedding preparations
beyond his means.
He has cooked
the feast himself and..
..desert and ice-cream
has also been arranged for.
Kulfi(frozen dessert).
Kulfi.
Yes. Did you have it?
Someone get some Kulfi for sir.
To hell with your Kulfi.
Get Kulfi or an ice-slab,
whatever you want..
..but I won't cool down. That's it.
Listen..
- What is it?
Mr. Pandey is leaving.
Won't you say good bye at least?
I'm coming. I'm coming. Come on.
Look Ramji, the wedding
has already taken place.
We'll take the bride with us.
I'll keep your word of honour.
- Thank you very much.
No, no, no. The wedding is over..
..but it doesn't mean
that we have been duped.
We have a solution
for all these rituals.
He takes so much trouble.
Even when it rains,
he goes on his scooter to read..
..the weather report on television.
When he sits before the camera,
water drips from his hair.
Tell me, what is the solution?
Do you have a solution?
Do you?
We had bought a new umbrella
before going to the pilgrimage.
But if you wish
we can buy a new raincoat.
You are talking about
umbrellas and raincoats?
Will he wear a raincoat
in the hot season?
He doesn't have to sit
in a kitchen..
..and cook throughout the day.
He appears on the TV.
All of Bihar watches him.
You should buy a nice
second hand car for him.
Listen, he may rot in Patna alone.
But till you don't
buy a car for him..
..their marriage will
not be consummated.
What are you saying father?
Consummation of the marriage
is a must. - Shut up.
Why do you interrupt
when two elders are speaking?
Get out from here.
The entire village got together
to get this wedding accomplished.
Now where will we
find a second hand car?
There is no need to
discuss any more.
What I said is final.
Now you have to arrange for it.
Then you'll blame me later.
- All right.
What has happened, Uncle Chhotu?
We got involved with such people.
He is even ashamed
of my being a cook.
He says that
if their relatives ask me..
..then I should tell that
I'm a farmer.
Chhotu uncle,
will our Parvati be happy there?
Have a juice, chill out.
Have a juice, chill out.
Have a juice..
- Take a break.
Have fun. Have fun.
Is it juice or a cough syrup?.
There is no more than two spoons
full in every glass.
Above that you don't
allow finishing that too.
Do you know that Ramji is getting his
sister married by borrowing money?
When it is your daughter's turn,
I'll mix juice concentrate..
..in the well and make the
entire village drink it.
Give me now.
I'll give you an entire glass.
Listen..
You look disturbed, Ramji.
Don't hesitate to ask me
if you need some help. - Yes.
She is our sister too,
like she's yours.
No, nothing like that.
I'm just a bit tired.
Is there anything lacking
in the wedding arrangements, then..
Lacking. You have done so well.
What would be lacking?
Did you have Kulfi?
It's today's special item.
Yes I did. It was very good.
- Oh yes. I saw you have it thrice.
Okay. Thanks for coming. Bye.
- Bye.
Bye.
- Bye.
Sir, I accept that I made a mistake..
..but I'll surely arrange
for the money anyhow.
At least don't insult
me before the guests.
So you have separated it.
Is my respect separate from yours?
Don't estrange me in this way.
Money does not matter to me.
You're more valuable to me.
Should I call the doctor?
Good joke.
You're very fortunate.
Do you speak English?
Yes. Somewhat.
Then come. Come with me.
Meet him. Mr Pandey.
Mr. Pandey, he is Ramji.
- Greetings.
Wow. Wonderful.
It feels like the Goddess of
Taste herself came down to earth.
What a cook you are, gentleman!
He speaks English too. Speak up.
No. I'm not a cook.
I'm a farmer.
Cook. Cook.
He has cooked all this food.
All of you, say something.
- Yes.. Yes. He has cooked it.
He cooks all kinds of food,
English, Indian.
He cooks that too.
What's the name..long vermicelli.
Poodle.
Noodle.
Yes, that's it.
He's a very good cook.
A very good cook.
Cook. He is a cook.
All of you, say something.
No one can match him
in all of Bihar. - Yes.
He's been into cooking
since childhood.
He is related
from elder aunt's side.
His name is Vakil Choube.
After going there he
became Vicky Choube.
He has settled down well in London.
He has got an NRI card too.
When he had come here six months ago,
he was extremely troubled.
He's sick of eating junk food there.
That time he had mentioned
that he needs a vegetarian cook.
A cook. Vegetarian cook.
He will get four hundred.
Four hundred? But Ramji gets
Rs.2500 even here, isn't it? - Yes.
It's pounds. 400 pounds. Not rupees.
And one pound is worth Rs.80.
Now calculate.
Speak up son. Calculate.
Ever gone beyond Chhapra?
That means Rs.20-22,000.
For a month or a year?
Not Rs.20-22,000.
It's Rs.30,000 per month.
Rs.30,000?
I've been looking for a cook
since many days.
As soon as I dined here, I knew..
..my search had ended.
And when I enquired about the chef..
..I came to know that
he is the bride's brother.
He is here only for you. Take him.
There is no one else for him here.
Go on lad.
Listen, pack his bags.
No. No.
How can I..
Over there..English would be..
I haven't completed
my studies either.
I've just passed the eighth grade.
And..
What is this? Such educated
people are no match to my Ramji.
Listen son.
Why are you getting upset?
If you feel right, then go.
And if you don't like it there,
come back by the next bus.
Why bus? It's so close.
Ramji can walk back.
He'll have to go across seven seas,
isn't it Mr. Pandey?
Look, I can easily send him.
But we should know his wish too.
So I have an advice.
Think calmly, talk it over
with the family, and then tell me.
Are you not family?
What is there to ask? Take him away.
Our life will be made.
I mean his life will be made. Such
opportunities don't come by often.
Who does he have here? Just a sister.
Won't you go for her sake?
Come on. Arrange for his departure.
Come on.
So Ramji, what do you say?
Should we make the arrangements?
In whose name shall I offer prayers?
Gopal Narayan Tiwari, priest.
'Oh Lord. I've served you
all my life.'
'..and now You send him
there to earn money..'
'Lord, please get rid of bad
omen from my wedding night.. '
'Lord, my brother is going
overseas for the first time..'
'..take care of him.'
- 'Take care of Ramji.
'My son's future depends on Ramji.'
'You're sending me
with the expectations..'
'..and desires of so many people..'
'..you must have thought
of something good for me.'
'Take care of me.'
'The couple looks good..'
'..but her in-laws
seem to be greedy.'
'No sooner Parvati goes there..'
'..she'll win over everyone's heart
with her goodness.'
'Their greed will be forgotten.'
'Yes, their family will flourish..'
'..but our house would become empty.
Yes, we'll be very lonely.
Hey, Papua..
What happened? You look worried.
I'm tired.
Rest for a while.
You'll feel relieved.
Cut it properly.
Don't you have a machine? - No.
And even if there was one..
..I couldn't have pushed it
up your nose. - Do your work.
Is everything fine?
Abdul take his measurement.
And listen. After that shave
the hair in his armpits too.
Shaving the armpits
makes the skin burn.
It doesn't burn
if your apply powder.
Apply powder
and everything will be cool.
Brother, get up.
I want to take your measurement.
How would I do my work
if he gets up?
How would I take his measurement
if he doesn't?
Is there a problem
in doing both simultaneously?
Tell me one thing?
It doesn't burn if you apply powder?
No, not at all.
- Then shave it.
What is this?
- The nose job is still not done.
He's taking the
measurements on one side..
..and the armpit is being
shaved on the other.
Don't blame me if he gets wounded.
You're acting crazy.
I'm going abroad
and you all are getting anxious.
Someone says shave it.
Someone says stitch it.
Why are you getting angry?
I agree you're the one going abroad.
But go like a human being. Where
are you going with this jungle?
Acting smart, are you?
Should I give you one?
From where did you get this sample?
Where's Muhammad?
Muhammad himself said
that his son has full..
..knowledge of the current trends
in fashion.
Take him. Look at the stylish
clothes he's wearing.
I've stitched this myself.
When there was a shooting
in Bhaisonlota last year..
..he had stitched Chunky
Pandey's pants. Am I right?
There was a shot of riding the
horse and the horse was a wild one.
It used to stagger on two feet.
When Chunky climbed on the horseback,
the horse threw him off.
Thankfully only his pants tore.
If you call that stitching,
then what's darning?
Okay, it's darning. But I was the
one Chunky Pandey shook hands with.
Stupid.
You're saying as if just by
wearing clothes stitched by you..
..one day Amitabh Bachchan would
come and shake hands with him.
Don't talk of Amitabh Bachchan.
I get very excited
when I hear his name.
I have only one wish.
Just as people know Amitabh Bachchan
due to his acting skills..
..one day Amitabh Bachchan should..
..know me because of
my cooking skills.
He'll surely know you.
He is the super star of movies..
..and you the super star of cooking.
Okay, father, I'll take your leave.
I'll call you when I reach there.
Take care of my little sister.
She's a kid.
If she makes any mistake, please
forgive her like your own child.
Don't you worry, Ramji.
She's like a daughter and
she'll remain like one. - Okay.
Take care of your diet.
Don't forget to send the money.
No. That's what I'm going for.
Okay.
- Okay, I'll leave.
Pappu, I'm leaving a huge
responsibility on your shoulders.
Take care of yourself.
Keep this safely with you.
It's not much. Just a little.
Oh no.
Count and bring the things
written in the list. Remember.
Chutki, why are you crying?
Brother, take care of yourself.
Look, your sullen face
is the last thing..
..I'd want to see
before I go abroad.
I'm doing all this only for you.
Now smile.
Yes.
And don't give your in-laws
a chance to complain.
And do write to me.
While writing letter,
don't complain about anyone.
If someone reads it,
it'll create a problem.
If there is some trouble,
write in pencil, I'll understand.
Okay, I'll leave.
Make way. Make way.
Stop.
- Hurry up.
Give me my bag.
- Okay, my dear. - I'll leave.
Take care dear.
Do write to me.
Ramji, remember my list.
My poor child.
- It's not very big.
Don't forget.
Hello.
- Hello.
This way through towards the end.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
Hello. Could you sit down over there?
It's right down the end. Thank you.
Hello. Over there.
Hi.
- Think positive, brother.
No, I mean greetings.
- Oh. Greetings.
How are you?
- Fine. - Okay.
Did you lock it properly?
- Yes.
Wow. You've put the lock too.
Yes.
- And chain too? - Yes.
It looks like you're travel
to London quite frequently.
No, but why do you ask?
You've come fully prepared,
that's why.
Look, suitcase, chain,
lock..and pickle too.
You can smell it, right?
That's why it looks like
you're regular visitor.
No, I'm going there
for the first time.
But this is common sense.
You should be fully
prepared when you go out.
Why is she wearing this strange coat?
She is saying that there's
life jacket beneath your seat..
..which would save you from drowning.
Really? - In case this
plane crashes in water, then.
Crashes?
- Yes.
In water?
- Yes, it will crash.
But I don't know
whether on land or water.
Excuse me, sir.
Sir, stand up, please.
Not now. Please, remove it.
No, I'll keep it on.
I'll return it later.
No, if we were to land in water,
it would help you.
Look, after falling in the water..
..where would I search for you?
So let me keep it on.
No, sir, you don't understand.
You have to take it off.
No let me.. after landing there,
I'll give it to you. - Tell him.
You've to take this off.
- Make them understand.
Pull it.
- What's this?
What happened?
- Good.
Remove it.
- Oh, my God.
The plane need not land on water.
This is enough to
suffocate me to death.
Remove it.
- Hold on.
What are you looking at? Go away.
It's too small.
It's too high.
Go away. What are you looking at?
Is this meant for humans or birds?
Excuse me, there is
some man in the toilet..
..and we've been waiting for so long.
What's he doing for so long?
- I've been waiting really long, madam.
Okay, okay. Don't worry.
Let me see what's wrong.
Excuse me.
- Yes.
Hi, can I help you, sir?
- What?
May I help you?
Do you have a tumbler?
- Tumbler?
Yes.
- What tumbler?
I'm done. There's no
mug or bucket here.
Can I have a tumbler?
No, sir. You'll have to
use the paper. - Paper?
I can't use paper.
We consider paper to be a sacred thing.
We don't even place our feet on it.
And you're saying.. - No, no. Please,
sir, you'll have to use paper.
A lot of people are
waiting in the queue.
You people endure it
for a bit longer.
There is no arrangement in here.
If you come in, you'll get stuck.
I'm badly stuck.
Those idiots. They
charge us so much money and..
..they can't even keep a
tumbler in the bathroom.
They've made business
out of conning.
Sir.
- Yes, I'm coming. I'm coming.
Come on, sir.
What are you staring at?
There is paper for you. Go in.
Go in.
- Go on through.
It's a limit. Now I
don't feel like sitting.
Oh, God.
- You people think it is a joke?
Why are they
searching everyone's luggage?
We're standing in this line for
the past one and a half hours.
I don't get it.
I got to see robbers
and burglers too.
But they seem to be
from good family.
These are not robbers and burglers.
They are illegal immigrants.
They're being deported.
Report?
- No, not report, deport.
Like you have these documents.
This passport and visa. - Yes.
These are proofs of your identity.
- Okay.
If you don't have this, then
you'll be forcefully sent back.
Next please.
Greetings.
What is this, please?
- No, no, this not my.
Okay, sorry. Next please.
No, you don't understand. This my
friend brother sister's husband.
London. He like very much. For him.
Is it edible?
- What?
Is it eatable?
Eatable? No, no, not eatable.
Only touchable.
It's pickle.
Sir, you eat full bottle.
Then morning tomorrow..
run around with a tumbler.
No tumbler, no problem.
And paper finish also.
I mean, you'll get loose motions.
What's the problem?
- You speak Hindi?
Yes.
- This is pickle.
It's just a pickle
in a jar. It's okay.
Yeah, it's fine. You can go now.
No problem. You can take it.
Thank you, thank you.
- Next, please.
Taxi. One minute.
This address go. Okay.
Where's the door?
The door is on the wrong side.
It will move ahead or back? Now go.
No one came to pick me at the airport.
What kind of people are these?
The meter is running
faster than your car.
It's so expensive.
Okay, okay, enough.
Twenty, please.
- You take this money go. Go.
Vicky Chaube's house..
Straight in.
- Is it this?
It's a grand palace.
It's good. Mr. Vicky Chaube?
He's inside. Right in.
- Okay.
I want to meet Vicky Chaube.
- Wait a second.
You're from?
- Cook from Takipur.
Thank you.
Mr. Vicky Chaube?
Okay.
There's a big gathering out here.
He seems to be a big shot.
Mr. Vicky Chaube?
No.
This can't be.
What has happened?
Now what will I do?
Parvati.
Mr. Ramji?
- Yes.
Sorry, we couldn't come to
pick you from the airport.
You must have
understood the reason for that.
Actually we tried to
stop you from coming here.
But you'd already left.
All that's fine.
But what do I do now?
This..
- Excuse me.
Hello. Yes. I was about to call you.
What is she saying?
Why is she so annoyed?
Tell her that I'm willing to
accept whatever she pays me.
I'll not only cook food, but
also take care of the whole house.
Look Mr. Ramji, because of
eating Indian spicy food..
..her husband Mr. Chaube got
fatal ulcers in the stomach.
Now they don't want to keep you here.
Look, your return
ticket to India is ready.
Here's some money. Keep this..
..and you return
to India immediately.
Look, I can't go
anywhere with this money.
This money is too less
to do anything with.
People in my village
and my sister Parvati..
.. have their hopes
pinned to my success.
If I take this money and return,
then there will be a big problem.
I told you she won't
let you stay here.
I'll cook not only vegetarian
but non-vegetarian food too.
That is fine.
- I'll look after the whole house.
But..
- How will I face my people?
Listen to me, she
won't let you stay here.
How can you send me like this?
Listen to me.
- I'll look after the whole house.
Go. Go from here.
'I'm planning to admit my
child in an English medium school.'
'It's expensive.'
'But if you wish, that
too can be managed.'
'What say?
- Yes.'
What happened?
What happened? Leave my bag.
Is somebody here?
Are you going to steal my bags?
I won't let you do it.
Had you been from my village,
I'd have taught you a lesson.
Leave me. Let go of my bag,
you morons. My things are in it.
Is somebody here? - What do you
guys think you're doing?
Leave him alone.
Hey, officers. Come here.
Leave me. Leave me.
Will you steal my bag just like that?
Hey man, are you all right?
- Yeah.
My bag, my bag. Where's my bag?
Bag. Who took my bag?
Where's my bag?
Guru.
Give it to me.
- Almost done.
What's this? That's strange.
What happened? Whose child is it?
Is someone here?
Oh, my God. Stop.
It's a car. You'll hurt yourself.
You're so stupid.
Why are you laughing?
Whose child is it? Is someone here?
Where's your family? Here
come your parents. - Sonu.
Sonu.
- Sonu.
I'm sorry, dear.
- Are you okay?
Sonu. Are you okay?
- He's all right.
Sonu.
- We're really very grateful to you.
Thank you.
- Yes, thank you.
Guru, why is he laughing?
- He's laughing because of my dilemma.
Nothing happened. He's fine.
But what kind of parents are you?
You left him in the
middle of the road.
Had he rolled on to the road..
..there would have been
a big problem.
I know.
- Be careful.
We're really very sorry.
I don't know.
You are..from Bihar?
Yes, hardcore. Absolutely hardcore.
We're very grateful.
Thank you so much.
You saved Sonu's life.
It's okay.
- Where do you live?
Right now I'm on the road.
Let's see what happens further.
No really.
Are you new to this city?
Yes. It's been just a day.
But in a day,
I've seen an entire lifetime.
I've lost everything.
Look at him.
Hey, champion. How are you?
Leave my hand.
- Oh, my God.
Guru, he's bleeding.
- It's nothing, you don't..
Please come home with us.
I'll dress your wound.
- No need for that.
What's the need to bring him home?
There's a hospital nearby.
I'll take him there.
We'll take him home.
What's your name?
- My name is Ramji.
Ramji, I'm Aparna.
- Okay. - He's Guru.
Greetings.
- And this is Sonu.
Hey, sonny boy. Come
home with us. Okay?
Come.
- Okay. - Do come.
Come.
- Come on.
Brother Guru, is there a
tumbler at your place?
Tumbler?
- Yes.
Tum..Tumbler.. - Yes,
bathroom.. - We'll arrange for it.
Ever since I've arrived, I
haven't gone to the loo.
The paper makes me nervous.
I'll do one thing.
I'll mix the lentil
soup in your rice..
..and you'll have to
finish everything..
..till the last grain
of rice. Understand?
You're a good boy.
No, I won't feed you.
You'll have to eat
everything yourself.
Only then will I tell you the
story of the four-faced demon.
No, no, Ramji.
He can't eat all this stuff.
Can't eat?
- No.
Is there a problem?
He won't eat. You get up.
I've still not eaten my food.
I'll give you another plate.
You wash your hands.
Come.
- Okay.
I want to tell you
something about Sonu.
Sister, you worry unnecessarily.
All kids have the same problem.
If you keep food in front of them..
..they get so anxious
and start fretting..
Soap. - As if someone is
doing injustice to them.
But if they're really hungry..
..just keep the
plate in front of them..
They'll polish the whole
thing off in two minutes.
Sonu is sick.
He's not like the other kids.
I could make that out
when I saw him.
But still I..
- It's not about how he looks Ramji.
Sonu..can't even swallow his food.
If I feed him..
Sonu. Sonu. Spit it out.
Guru. Guru.
What will he spit?
He must have digested half
of what he has eaten by now.
What did I say? That if you
keep the plate in front of..
..a hungry kid then
he'll finish off everything.
Why, Sonu dear? Wasn't I saying this?
- Sonu.
He finished his food on his own.
- What do you mean he ate his food?
I went to the kitchen for a minute.
Why did you leave him alone?
I went to the kitchen
for just a minute, Guru.
What did he eat? - Nothing, I'd given
him rice mixed with lentil soup.
He finished off everything.
- Who told you to do all this?
I thought..
- Guru. - What?
He has eaten his food for
the first time on his own.
Can you believe it? He's fine.
Appu.
Appu. - In this house
everyone keeps saying Appu.
You're saying Appu.
This naughty boy too keeps going
Appu all the time. What's the matter?
Because my pet name is Appu..
..and this naughty boy doesn't
say anything else other than Appu.
Really?
- Appu, Appu.
What?
Better be careful of..
Is Brother Guru annoyed with me?
What did you say his name is?
- Ramji.
Ramji. - He says that
he'd got all the papers.
He even had the work permit..
..but a tragedy occurred at the place
where he was going to work. So..
After that he lost his bag
in the train.
That's why all the papers..
Do you believe him?
I don't think he's lying.
So Guru, do you want to help him?
I..
Guru. He saved Sonu's life.
Well.
- Let's see what we can do.
Where's your Bihari chap?
Why Ramji? What happened?
What happened?
I feel like I'm in heaven.
Is this place a kitchen or a palace?
Everything here is sparkling clean.
I can't even see any coal here.
Did you like it?
- Sister, not good, not good.
Very good.
It feels as if I'm at home.
Very good. Guru and I are
outside in the restaurant.
These people will tell
you about your work.
Brother, where's the stove?
This is the microwave.
Keep the food inside..
..put the timer, press the button.
- Okay, this is easy.
And this is the big oven.
Many things can go into it
at a time.
I've seen that before.
Are you cooking gourd?
What happened? Why are you
putting so much of soda?
I might upset the stomach.
Just put in some garlic paste.
It'll enhance the taste.
Did I ask you?
Why are you getting annoyed?
I'm just telling you.
Don't interfere in my work.
I'm not interfering in your work.
I'm just showing you the right
way to cook it. Try it once.
Do you know better than me?
Cook it.
- Why are you getting annoyed?
No, cook it for me.
What's the big deal? I'll cook it.
- Go ahead.
I used to cook everyday.
I'll show it to you. - Cook.
Take a bit of turmeric.
And.. - Cook it up.
Why are you showing it to me?
You know better than me, don't you?
- Okay, brother.
What's so tough in it?
Brother, quickly get me some garlic
paste. - I can't do this any longer.
Today I'll give you a
glimpse of the Goddess of taste.
What happened, Ramji?
- What happened?
Uncle told me
to show him how to cook.
So I thought to give him
a taste of Takipur.
You too taste it.
Have it. Do have it.
What happened?
What happened, sister?
Just minute, wait right here.
It's no rocket science.. - Come here
soon. - What is so great about food?
Taste this. Just taste this.
Taste this, now.
- Okay. - Greetings.
Are you brother Guru's friend?
You too have a bite.
Jai, come on, taste this.
- Thank you.
Isn't it great?
- You prepared all this?
Not just this. I can
cook a variety of dishes.
I can cook Gujarati,
Marathi and South Indian food.
I can make Dosa,
Uttapam(south Indian dishes)..
..and Golgappas(puffed flour balls
stuffed with a concoction of spices)
I even cook
sugar-free carrot pudding.
Hey, brother, your chef is a wierdo.
- Why?
He makes roti (wheat pancake)
in a machine.
Sister, look.
Sonu is eating on his own. - Sonu.
Delicious food, man.
Did you see Sonu?
I've never seen him so happy before.
He calls Appu sister.
Everyone is happy with him.
- Yes.
I think I'll start the paper work.
Legally, he shouldn't have
any problem staying here.
It could take time to get the
visa and work permit. - Okay.
I'll get the paper work
started at the embassy.
For the time being, if
you want you can keep him..
..at your house as a guest.
But without a work permit,
you know..
..no body should know that
he's working in your restaurant.
Okay.
I've never done
anything illegal till date.
But looking at Appu
and Sonu's smiles..
You know..
- I understand.
I'll see what I can do.
Just see to it that
no one comes to know..
..that he works at your restaurant.
That's it.
"With fair skinned people."
"I've formed a bond."
"The heart of a village guy."
"Has grown fond of London."
"My heart's fond of London.
My Heart's fond of London."
"My heart's fond of London.
My Heart's fond of London."
"My heart's fond of London.
My Heart's fond of London."
"East meets west, my friend."
"East meets west, and
forms a strong bond."
"My heart's fond of London.
My Heart's fond of London."
"My heart's fond of London.
My Heart's fond of London."
"The heart of a village lad."
"My heart would sigh,
complain and worry."
"When I left my country, I
left my heart behind too."
"My heart would sigh,
complain and worry."
"When I left my country, I
left my heart behind too."
"Now it has come back, my friend."
"Now it has come with me,
my foreigner friend."
"A bell rang in my heart."
"A bell rang in my heart."
"My heart. My heart."
"My heart's grown fond of London."
"I've grown fond of
the din and bustle."
"Every vegetable has
started cooking better."
"I've started to like this
quarrel and being practical."
"Every vegetable has
started cooking better."
"I'm gelling in..eventually."
"I'm gelling in..eventually."
"Life has become spicier."
"Life has become spicier and
everything is going smooth."
"Life's going smoothly.
Life is going smoothly."
"Life's going smoothly.
Life is going smoothly."
"The heart of a village guy
has grown fond of London."
"My heart's fond of London.
My Heart's fond of London."
"My heart's fond of London.
My Heart's fond of London."
"Life's going smoothly."
"I've formed a connection
with fair skinned people."
"A bond is formed."
"My heart's grown fond of London."
Brother Guru, did you call me?
I've left food simmering on the stove.
Wait.
Here you are. Your first salary.
What are you saying?
Brother Guru, send this to
my village for my sister.
I'll keep this.
What would you do
with that little money?
There's a temple nearby which
no one takes proper care of.
I think I'll donate it there.
Sonu, Ramji uncle has
got his first salary.
Ask him whether
he'll give us a party.
Yes.
- Sonu dear is like a prince.
With God's grace we can
celebrate whenever we want.
What do you say?
- God.
He has started talking.
What did you say?
Say it again.
What did you say, Sonu?
Quickly, what did you say?
God.
- God.
Sonu.
- He has started talking.
Appu, he spoke. Sonu, please.
Please say it once more.
Just once, Sonu.
Say it once.
- Say it once.
Sonu, please.
God.
Thank God.
God.
Ramji.
- Brother Guru, what are you doing?
It's all because of you.
- No, no.
It's all by the grace of God.
You've brought
happiness in our lives, Ramji.
No, no, no, sister. This is God's..
Party. Party.
- Sonu.
This calls for a party.
This calls for a party.
Party.
Excuse me, darling.
I need to brush my teeth, look.
Hi, Ramji.
- Hi, hi.
Well if some people want to do it
this way, I just don't believe - Hi.
Sammy, you're looking sexy.
Sonu.
There are you, Sonu.
- Aunt Sameera.
Appu.
- Who's my boyfriend? - Appu.
No, you. And who's your girlfriend?
- Appu.
No, me.
Appu, cake.
O my God. O my God. Did he say cake?
Amazing. He said cake.
Congrats.
That's awesome. - It's God's grace,
Sameera. It's like a miracle.
Yeah. - I know him,
another couple of drinks..
..and he'll be sober.
- Hello, Mrs. Malhotra.
Don't have too much,
don't have too much.
I'm watching him.
- Take care.
"My beloved hasn't arrived.
He says.."
What happened?
- I need salt. It's less.
Salt is fine. I'd put
less salt in Sonu's food.
You must have eaten that food.
There was less salt
in my food and that's it.
Can I have the salt, please?
Look, if you want more salt
you can sprinkle it over the top.
Don't talk rubbish about my food.
You're wearing almost
nothing as clothes..
..and roaming around half naked.
Did I comment on your clothes?
Idiot. How dare you?
You're the one who's daring.
Here you are. Take as
much salt as you want. Go.
Talking nonsense about my cooking.
- Illiterate.
Witch.
- Silly. - Cat.
You're darn right, darn..
Ramji.
- Jai.
Meet Ramji,
the great chef from India.
Greetings.
Meet Sammy, my fiancee.
Hi.
- Oh, my God.
Were you helpless?
Was your marriage fixed
in childhood?
How else did you get
stuck with this woman?
Speak softly. She even bites.
Yes, I've seen that.
Greetings, do come.
- Greetings, son.
Parvati, your grandmother,
uncle and aunt have come.
Do have a seat.
I've not seen
Parvati since her wedding.
I've got some curd and rice flakes.
Fine, fine.
Sir, this watermelon is for you
Sir is only worthy of watermelon.
Where's son-in-law?
He has gone on his scooter,
in this heat..
..to spread the news of the world.
Greetings. Bless you
How are you, dear?
- I'm fine.
Hello, hello.
Ramji. Be happy, be happy.
I know you are a man of your words.
Yes, I got the money that you'd sent.
Chutki, can you easily make
a call to London from here?
From brother.
Talk to Parvati first.
Talk to Ramji.
Come.
Hello.
- Hey, Chutki.
Yes, Brother.
How are you?
- I am fine.
I received the letter
you sent with lots of love.
I was delighted.
- How are you?
No, no, no.
Don't worry about me. I'm fine.
I'm staying with very good people.
- Really, Brother.
Yes, they're very good people.
And listen. - Yes.
You take care of yourself.
And very soon I'll send you more money.
Don't send all of it.
Save some for yourself too.
And take care of your diet.
You remember, don't you?
Father's death anniversary is coming.
I remember everything.
I've called foreign pundit.
I'm meeting him today.
What's the time over there?
It's almost dawn.
Good bye.
- Good bye.
Beneath the tap? What are you saying?
It's father's death ceremony
that needs to be done.
As it is, you're looking so modern.
What worship will you do?
This cap, jacket, jeans, pants.
- Wait.
What happened?
- Is this sufficient?
Or shall I start chanting mantras?
- Okay, okay.
But the death ceremony
will be besides the lake..
..not underneath the tap.
- Okay.
And shall I get the things for the
death ceremony or you'll get it?
Not I.. you have to get the things.
I'll only do the worship part.
Hello, Inspector. Hi.
- Hi.
Business is good.
New cook brings in a big Indian crowd.
How would I know?
It's not my shop, mate.
Come, would you like to join me?
Thank you. After you.
I'll tell you something.
I arrested nine people without papers.
And seven of them were Indians. Right?
I know, mate.
One more and you'll get promoted.
You know quite a bit, mate.
I practice law.
Care for a smoke?
- No, thanks.
Excuse me. Guru, would you..
Any problem?
- Yes.
He's suspicious. Send Ramji in.
Come here in the morning and..
- Ramji.
No need to wear this. Go in.
- Guru.
Why?
- Yes, coming.
The policeman has come.
- Yes, I know.
Greetings.
Greetings, Inspector. How are you?
You work here as the chef?
Chief? You're the chief?
Okay, so I'll say
chief inspector. Okay?
You go in.
- What's the need to stamp on my foot.
Will you have something to eat?
Do you have papers, mate?
- Paper, yes I have it.
I have paper masala dosa
(South Indian dish)..
..mint leaf paper masala dosa..
..and cheese paper masala dosa.
What would you like to have?
No, permit. Work permit paper.
He's asking something else altogether.
Brother Guru, what is he talking?
He's telling you to shut your mouth
and go from here.
Okay, I'll take your leave.
This is Mr. Guru. He owns this place.
- Okay.
Would you like to eat something?
Hey, check in the case.
This grill is awesome, man.
Hey, what are you doing?
You can't throw all this here.
It's not a free zone.
This is not garbage.
This is a sacred thing.
He's doing rituals
for his dead father.
Give me five minutes.
I'll finish my rituals.
Ritual? Get out of here.
Look there is some trouble there.
- Let's go. Come on.
Let's take a look.
- What are they saying, Priest?
What's the problem?
- What's going on?
It's a free zone. - It's a respect.
Doing a ritual for his dead father.
Now leave him alone.
Now leave him alone.
I told you to leave him alone.
Hey, hey, leave him alone.
You rascal, get away from here!
No manners!
- Ramji, you be seated.
It's inauspicious to get up
in between from the ritual.
By doing this ritual, I'm praying
for my father's souls' peace.
And here they are spreading violence.
- Take that. - Run.
Police. Forgive me, Ramji.
Hey, Priest. Where are you going?
Oh, Priest.
Why are you running away? Listen.
Listen, Priest.
It's a great sin not
to complete the ritual.
Sir. - Priest.
- Sir, you'll have to come with me.
Priest ran away.
I'm not doing anything wrong. - Sir.
You're coming with me, sir.
What are you doing?
- Sir.
Is it a sin in your country
to do father's death ritual?
Leave me. I'm not doing anything
wrong. Where are you taking me?
What happened?
I was sitting by the riverside.
Slowly shouting my mantras.
Then these white guys, they come,
with their bad legs.
And they kick my balls.
All five balls.
All my father's.
- What?
Rice balls. Rice balls.
They kick my balls. The one that
I'd got for the ritual of the dead.
And you're interrogating me.
What do you do?
- Is this the time.
What do you do?
Okay, so that is how do you do.
I do cook.
You know Guru sir's restaurant.
Curry Corner. I cook very good food.
What?
Where's your work permit?
Where's your passport.. and visa.
That is what I'm asking.
Where's my passport.. and visa.
That is what I'm asking.
- No, no, I ask you. Where?
It's been so many
days since I lost it.
And you're not even
looking for it. Write a report.
Why are you looking
at my face, you fool?
If it had been my village Takipur..
..by now we would have
found the thief and..
..paraded him all around the village.
Come, Brother Guru and brother Jai.
He's a fool.
Making him understand is like
making an elephant wear underwear.
What did you say? What did he say?
Keep quiet, Ramji.
- I'm not afraid of him.
I said that to understand you..
..the elephant wear underwear. Easy.
What?
- Where did the elephant come from?
Officer, I have the papers
for this man's release.
I want this man's work permit papers..
..his passport and his visa
on my desk tomorrow morning.
Tomorrow morning?
You mean Monday, right?
You don't work weekends.
All right, Monday morning.
But they better be there
and in order. - Right, sir.
All right, you can go.
This man is so stupid.
Have you gone crazy?
Why did you have to say that
you work in my restaurant?
Brother Guru, how was I to know that
I shouldn't say all these things?
That officer was
already suspicious about us.
Keep the cup down.
Now you'll be in trouble
and get us in trouble too.
Why will you be in trouble?
When the mistake is mine,
then I'll get the punishment.
What's his crime?
You should have let me
rot in the police station.
Why did you get me out?
Why did you get me out?
Who told you that you're spared?
You're just out on bail.
They can put you behind
bars whenever they want.
Look, Ramji. Get one thing straight.
If you don't have your visa,
work permit, passport..
..or some identification proof..
..then you're a
criminal in this country.
And you have none of the
above-mentioned things.
And even I'll be in trouble
for employing such a person.
This is the law.
Then what do I do now?
- Darn.
You've messed up things, Ramji.
- What a mess!
There is only one way to solve
this problem in any country.
Become the son-in-law of that country.
Marry a girl from that country.
- Yes, Jai. Thanks Jai.
But.. I know that.
We're talking about a practical
and not a legal thing.
Tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday follows.
We'll have to submit
the papers on Monday.
And the court will take 30 days.
To give the marriage certificate.
Okay, assume that we conduct the
marriage in the Pentecostal church,.
But friend,
for marriage we need a girl.
Immediately.
Leave that to me.
Though you might have
to spend some money.
I'll manage money somehow.
Just get me out of this mess.
I don't want to lose
everything in this legal problem.
Just do something.
I'll do something.
How can you tell me to
marry some other person?
Why are you giving it
the name of marriage?
It's just a technical agreement.
Why do you have to be
so unhappy about it?
Unhappy? And it makes
no difference to you.
Of course it does,
baby. Of course it does.
Do you think it's easy for me?
I was just thinking that
with this small agreement..
..so many people can gain.
Others gain. What about me?
I'll have to live with that
illiterate cook. That bumpkin.
Have you gone crazy, Sammy?
Do you think it's easy
for me to see you..
..living with some other person?
No way, baby. No way.
But I was just thinking.. that
tomorrow you'll marry in the church.
After that he'll be in his
restaurant and you at your home.
In three months,
both of you get divorced.
And then everything's back to normal.
You make everything
sound so sweet and innocent.
You don't realise what a
big thing this is for a girl.
I don't know. I don't know anything.
I've become crazy.
- Jai.
Why am I messing up my
own happiness because..
..I want to do some
good for another person?
Forget it all.
I just thought.. that Guru and
Appu won't have to go to prison.
Poor Sonu won't be homeless.
That's it.
But forget about it.
If it's making you uncomfortable,
just let me, just forget about it.
You really want me to do this, Jai?
Not if you're unhappy.
Brother Guru, is this a solution?
There's a difference between
finding the solution to a problem..
..and pushing a person into a well.
What will I tell my villagers?
How will I face them?
Nothing will happen, Ramji.
It's not a real marriage.
It's a matter of only three months.
Real marriage? What is fake marriage?
Is this a game with dolls?
Look, Brother Guru,
I don't understand what you're saying.
Ramji, after three
months file for a divorce.
After that the girl will be at
her place and you at your place.
Divorce! What new
scheme are you hatching?
Divorce her.
It's a great sin.
What will happen to that girl?
Nothing will happen to her.
She knows everything.
Look, for these arrangements
we've spent a lot of money.
That girl knows everything.
She knows everything.
The girl has no qualms about it.
What a country?
She said yes because of money.
If she refused to divorce me for the
sake of money. Then I'll be stuck.
This will not happen,
Ramji. She's a nice girl.
She knows me, she knows you.
She is doing this to help us.
She knows me?
- Yes.
Brother Guru, who is this girl?
Sameera.
Who? Brother Jai's fiancee?
- Yes.
It means brother Jai's fiancee
will now be my fiancee.
And after divorce my fiancee
will become Brother Jai's fiancee.
Yes. - It's wrong to keep
changing the fiancee repeatedly.
Look, Ramji, I don't
have time to argue with you.
You have to go to the church
at 6:00am and get married.
Church? Why will I go to the church?
Isn't there a temple here?
Actually.. I forgot to
tell you one thing, Ramji.
For the marriage to
take place quickly..
..both of you will have
to change your religion..
..become Catholics and
get married in the church.
Brother Guru, are you joking?
What schemes are you
hatching one after the other?
First you said to marry, then
you said it's a fake wedding.
Then you said to file a divorce..
..and now you're saying
to change my religion.
Is this a joke?
Look, other things are fine.
But I can't make a joke of religion.
I'm a devout person.
No, I respect other religions, too.
Jesus Christ is a great God.
I respect him.
But how will I answer my God?
No, I can't do this.
You can say whatever you want.
I'm returning.
- Okay, go.
You want to go, then go.
But get one thing straight, Ramji.
I never wanted to help you.
But after you arrived, for the
fist time I saw my family happy.
After our son was born, for the
first time I saw my wife smiling,
I saw my son laughing so much.
And every man should do whatever
he can for his family's happiness..
And I did a small illegal thing.
You didn't have the
right documents with you..
..yet I employed you at my place.
But now the conditions are such that..
..if you don't help us, Ramji,
then everything will be ruined.
They'll put me and
my wife behind bars.
And separate our son from us, Ramji.
And to evade all this if I have to
beg you by falling at your feet..
No, Brother Guru.
I'm ashamed. I made a big mistake.
Forgive me.
I don't know how I became so selfish.
I forgot how much you've helped me.
I'll do whatever you say.
Make me do whatever you want.
In the name of the Father,
Son and the Holy Spirit.
Thank you very much, Father.
So, you think you've
got around the problem?
Officer, you've got your job to do.
And I've got mine.
Papers on your desk, tomorrow morning.
Before 9:30am.
Yes. May I help you?
- May I come in for a minute?
Please do, certainly. Come in.
- Thank you.
May I speak to Robert, please?
Robert, who's Robert?
Your son-in-law.
Which one?
No, no, no. Unless Sameera
has been a naughty girl.
I don't think she's married.
In that case, may I
speak to Sameera, please?
Yes, she's upstairs.
She'll be down in a minute.
In the meantime, can I get
you a nice cup of coffee?
Coffee would be great. Thank you.
One coffee coming up.
Who's Robert?
- No one.
Excuse me, Officer. Can I help you?
What do you think you're doing?
What do you think you're doing?
What do you mean by that?
How did a nice young lady like you..
..get involved in
something so illegal?
I don't know what you're
talking about, Officer.
Are you married to Robert?
Yes.
And does he live with you here?
- Yes.
Well, Sameera, your
husband must be quite a man.
Your grandmother has never
seen him. Quite a marriage.
Look, Officer. I don't need to
answer any of your questions.
I suggest you speak
to my fiance..Lawyer.
It's very unfortunate that
you got involved in this.
If charges are brought,
you will be implicated as well.
Have a good day.
Oh, and you better
prepare for some visitors.
Some Immigration
officials will come calling..
..around this evening
to verify your marriage.
Thanks for the coffee.
Two days ago, I was free.
And now I'm married.
I got married to a person
whom I don't even know.
And now, I'll have to stay with him.
And on top of it, I'll have to
convince the Immigration officers..
..that we really are married.
Otherwise, I go to jail.
You've got me into
what kind of mess, Jai?
I can't handle it.
- Did someone force you?
You yourself decided
that we'll help them.
When we've decided that
we'll help them then..
..at the last moment you
can't say, "I can't handle it."
We only have to convince
the Immigration officers..
..that your marriage
is for real. That's all.
After that everything
goes back to normal.
Normal.
- Yes, normal. What else?
I can't understand.
We're in a legal soup.
And we have no other way out.
Guru and I really
appreciate what you're doing for us.
Jai, I'm sorry,
but what if they're not convinced?
Then we're in a big mess.
We'll handle that later.
Right now, it's more important
to take Ramji to Sameera's house..
..before the Immigration
officers reach there.
If we get stuck in the traffic,
then we'll be in a mess.
Appu, please quickly
pack Ramji's things.
Granny. Granny.
What? - Please don't ask me anything.
I'll tell you later.
Such strange customs..
- He'll stay with us for a few days.
Did she lock you in
the house and go away?
So strange. In our Takipur, mischievous
kids are locked in this manner.
Were you up to some mischief?
Who are you?
- My name is Ramji.
No, my name is Robert.
It got changed yesterday only.
Give me your blessings. And you?
Only grandmother.
- Okay. - Granny is English name.
Are you done?
Okay, Ramji you go up and..
No, Robert.
Okay, Robert you go upstairs and..
..put your clothes in
the cupboard. Be ready.
The Immigration officers
will be here any moment now.
Doctor has told you not to
eat sweet stuff. Spit it out.
You're a naughty grandmother.
- Spit.
They've come.
- Who? - Immigration officers.
They're parking their car. Hurry up.
But I've still not changed my clothes.
Hurry up. Change your clothes later.
I feel embarrassed.
At least let me dress up properly.
Okay, take this. Put your legs up.
- Okay.
Relax properly. Read the paper.
- What's all this?
In a relaxed manner
call me to open the door.
Sameera, open the door.
- Loudly.
What difference does it make
whether I speak loudly or not?
You want to open the door, then do it.
I'll kill you. Do as I say.
Say loudly, coming.
Darling, open the door.
Okay coming darling. Open the door.
Oh, God, help me.
- Now what happened?
One more thing.
Wear this ring, quickly.
Granny, I'll open it.
Hello.
- We're from the Immigration Office.
Darling, Immigration
officers have come.
They want to investigate something.
He's just so tired.
He's got back from work right now.
I understand. - I'm sorry.
Can I see him for a few minutes?
Sure. Please come in.
- Thank you. After you.
Honey, Immigration officers.
- Okay.
Thank you.
Greetings, Bishambar Mehra.
Greetings, Ramji..
that's not it, Robert.
That's not it Robert?
But in this it's written only Robert.
Yes, it's Robert. Have a seat.
Please be seated.
- Okay.
Congratulations on your wedding.
- Congratulations.
Thank you.
Mr. Robert, you were a chef in India?
What? - You were a cook
in India, weren't you?
Yes, cook.
And you studied up to the year 8th?
- Yes, 8th pass.
But why? In my village
only up to 8th class.
Plus two means you go to town.
My father said, no,
you don't go to town.
You go to town means you drink
bidi (flavoured Indian cigarette ).
Bidi? - Bidi, bidi. Bidi?
You know cigarette. Younger brother.
Brown younger brother also.
Okay, tell me one thing.
You're less educated than your wife.
So how did the two
of you get together?
Love is blind, you know.
Yes, and no doctor
for this blind also.
Yes, that is fine.
But tell me how did you meet?
You say, honey.
- Yes..
You only tell them.. honey.
It was an accident.
- Oh, an accident.
Can you give us some more details
how did this accident happen?
And when it happened?
- No. - No?
The case is still in the court..
we can't talk about that.
I handled the situation.
- Oh.
Darling.
- Oh, that one.
Coming, darling, open the door.
Was it okay? What happened?
The phone is ringing.
- The phone is ringing?
Both the phones have
the same ring tones.
So I get confused.
- Excuse me.
Hello. Jai.
Where's the bathroom?
- What?
Where's the bathroom?
- Why?
I want to play football.
- What?
I want to go to the toilet.
Yes, you shouldn't try to stop it.
It's there. - Where?
Come, I'll show you.
- Okay.
Bathroom's is here.
Thank you. Here.
We were going to construct it here,
but everything got messed up ..
..because of Vaastu (traditional
Indian principles of harmonious living).
And we thought
we'll have the bathroom here..
..but this is so big,
so we couldn't build it here.
So we thought why not
build the bathroom here.
Go. Even I want to use the toilet.
Now I don't want to go.
- Why?
Just like that.
- Okay, so I'll go.
When I've found it,
then it's better to use it.
Sorry for the inconvenience.
- No problem.
Look, our duty is to stop
illegal wedding in this country.
And we came here because
we got a complaint against you.
And looking at this
house's atmosphere..
..it seems this complaint
could be true to a certain extent.
Anyway, after two weeks come
to our office for the interview.
And I hope your marriage is for real.
And yes, please come
prepared this time.
Oh.
- Come on, let's go.
Sameera, try and understand, baby.
There are still 14 days left.
We can fix this thing.
How will you fix it,
Jai? With that bumpkin.
You know it's difficult.
- What's so difficult?
We just have to create a
small love story. That's it.
What do you think? They'll accept it.
Already they doubt us.
They've come to our house.
They're keeping a watch over us.
And you're saying we can do it.
Sammy, please try
and understand, baby.
We just have to create a love story.
Okay, let's make a love story.
A love story that's so simple..
..that even that
bumpkin understands it.
And he says exactly what I tell him.
Can you come up with
such a love story?
I've got a great idea.
We'll tell them our love story.
The only difference is
that you put him in my place.
Our love story?
- Yes. What can be simpler than that?
Sameera, forgive me.
But if we go to the
officers with this story..
..then they'll immediately arrest us.
Why? - Look, just now
you said that the lawyers..
..charge 20 pounds an
hour to solve your problem.
That's fine. In the beginning
they used to meet at home.
Then they started
meeting in restaurants..
..cinemas, parks.
And their love story
progressed gradually.
But lawyer's meter was on each hour.
What happened is that
for falling in love..
..lawyer was charging money.
The person who charges so much money..
..he'll surely talk
about love and not hatred.
Look, Sameera,
your love story might be true.
But no one will believe it.
We'll think about
some other love story.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, God, the floor is wet.
What is this? God.
What is this?
Ramji. Granny.
What happened?
- What happened?
Why are you shouting?
- Why shouldn't I shout?
What is this flag like
thing in my bathroom?
What is this?
- It's my underwear.
Can't you wear one of a man's size?
Granny, look, there's
water all over the floor.
Obviously the bathroom's where
there will be water. Where else?
And where else do I dry
my underwear? Here itself.
If I dry it outside the window
then even more flags will be hoisted.
Am I right?
I can't handle you any more. Just go.
Jai, I really can't handle this man.
I simply can't live with him.
He's an animal.
He's ruined my whole house.
Calm down, calm down.
But, what happened?
What happened? His one underwear
is bigger than my window's curtain.
And you know what.
Every time I go to the bathroom..
..his big underwear is
right in front of me.
Jai, I don't care. And you
have to do something about it.
Where did it go?
- I have to rush now, okay. Bye.
Good morning.
- Good morning, Granny.
It was here itself.
- Dear, have your breakfast.
I don't want it.
I'm getting late. I'm leaving.
Love you.
Hey, hey.
- Here it is.
Where's Sameera's bag?
- She left.
She left?
- Yes.
I'd kept a bottle of juice in
her bag. I'd gone to take the cap.
Cap. - Yes.
- So, then.
Why did you keep the
juice bottle in my bag?
Sameera, everyday you leave
without eating your breakfast.
You might get ulcers in your stomach..
..if you don't eat anything
for six to eight hours.
Who told you to do all this?
Did I ask you to do it?
Mind your business. You're a guest.
So behave like one.
Granny, make it clear to him,
otherwise.. Fool.
What big mistake did I commit?
I was doing it only for her own good.
Dear, the people in this
country are very independent.
They want to take care of themselves.
And if some other person
tries to take care of them..
..they become worried.
And doubt them.
Sameera is like them, too.
But you're a goner.
You're trying to frighten me.
- No, I'm just informing you.
Sometimes, in anger she
scratches with her nails, too.
You're a naughty grandmother.
That's why she locks you
in the house and goes off.
Tell me how to win her over. Or do
you plan to continue frightening me?
There's a way.
But why should I tell you?
What will I get?
Will you eat this sweet?
You like it, don't you?
It's futile. I can't eat it.
Doctor has told me not to have it.
No problem. This is sugar-free.
You can surely eat it.
At least taste it.
Eat it.
Did you like it?
- It's delicious. Give it to me.
Now you've learned your lesson.
First, tell me of a method to win
her over . Then, I'll give it to you.
There is magic in your hands.
And you're asking me?
Tonight, prepare her
favourite dish. She'll be pleased.
Especially fish.
- Fish?
But I'm a vegetarian.
What are you staring?
You'll have to touch it.
Take it, take it, take it.
- No, no, Grandma, no, Grandma.
Jackets, stacks of shirts.
- Where are you taking me?
Ties.
- I don't want to buy anything.
Wait here, wait.
What is this?
Ramji, try to understand one thing.
You've left your village
and come to live in London.
Learn to live like a London person.
Stop wearing curtain underwear.
Look, I can't wear this.
This is for ladies.
This is not for ladies.
In London everyone wears this
kind of underwear. See this.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Wow.
Sameera, I'm sorry for
what happened this morning.
Come and have dinner.
I'm not hungry. - Listen,
I've cooked a special dish for you.
I told you, I'm not hungry.
Dear, have at least a bite.
For your sake, today, Ramji has..
..touched non-vegetarian for
the first time in his life.
I've already eaten my dinner.
I'm not hungry.
And please, don't force me.
Sameera, have a bite.
Even he has not eaten.
Did I tell him not to eat?
Did I ask him to prepare all this?
Then? What is this new drama?
A person can eat whenever he wants.
No need to wait for anyone.
It's only for two weeks.
A new drama every time. God.
My room so neat and tidy.
Can't be granny.
Yes, I've reached.
- How did you know it's my call?
Who else can it be other than you?
Do you know, what's happening here?
Is that villager drying his underwear?
Tell me one thing.
- Yes.
Have you ever waited
for me during meal time?
Have you ever made a
cup of tea for me?
What's happened to you suddenly?
Candles are burning.
The room is clean.
Dinner is ready.
He's proving to be an ideal husband.
Learn something from Ramji.
Ideal husband? Hey, hang on.
Are you trying to make
me feel jealous? - Maybe.
I'm just trying to tell you
I'm impressed. - Impressed?
The foolish thing is
that I've told them..
..that I've already
had my dinner with you.
And the truth is I'm really hungry.
- Then eat it.
I'll think about that.
- I'll see you in the morning, love.
Bye.
- Bye.
Isn't it good?
Granny, what are you doing here?
Actually, I'm sorry. I'd lied.
I had had my dinner.
He cooks such scrumptious meals.
What are you eating?
- Sweet.
What?
Sweet. Doctor has
told you not to eat it.
It's sugarless.
He cooks good health food too.
That's true.
But I've never eaten such
mouth-watering fish before. - Really.
He's a bumpkin.
But he cooks great food.
Thank you.
I heard everything.
If you liked the food,
then you should have told me.
If I have your permission,
then I'll also eat.
I'm feeling dizzy from hunger.
Tulsidas always had God on his mind..
Oh, God. What things
you people make me do?
Oh, no.
Such a big difference.
It's so tight that after wearing it,
I'll have to peel it off.
Where is that Ramji?
He's still not brought the sandwiches.
Granny, he's not a servant.
- I know he's your husband.
That's why I'm making him serve me.
You won't listen. Forget it.
What can I do? He doesn't listen.
He loves cooking.
Yes, cooking.
You know what? Ritz hotel
has opened a new restaurant.
For which they've even
organised a competition.
If you agree, we'll send his recipe
of the sweet dish as an entry.
Sure. Good idea.
What happened, Ramji?
Why are you standing there?
Hello.
What happened?
Why are you walking in this manner?
Nothing.
What happened, Ramji?
- I can't tell you about it.
Tell me, what happened?
Are you all right?
Yes, everything is all right.
- One minute, Ramji. - No.
At least tell me.
- No.
You are the last
person who should ask me.
Because of you, Jai's
purchased such a thing for me..
..that wearing it, I feel as if
a particular part of my body..
..is stuck in a marsh.
Yes, laugh.
It's stuck to my waist so tight..
..that a design has formed there.
Yes, laugh. What can I do?
Excuse me.
- Yes.
Will I get a bus for Benzer from here?
A3.
- A3, okay.
Are you new to London?
- New? Yes.
Do you live here?
- Yes, I live close by.
Where do you live?
- I also stay nearby, at the back.
Do you know Sameera?
Sameera.. that gorgeous
girl from the travel agency?
I don't know about that.
But she's Jai's fiancee.
Jai. - Jai, lawyer.
They're very nice people.
Jai Kapoor?
- Yes.
What's the girl's name?
Sameera. Do you know her?
No. Just tell her to
be cautious of Jai.
To be cautious of Jai?
What do you mean?
Do you know Jai? He's a nice man.
If he's a nice man, then why
has not seen his son's face..
..or the past four years?
Son's face? No, you're mistaken.
This is some other Jai.
He's not even married.
Jai Kapoor. Lawyer. Fair?
I know him very well. I'm his ex-wife.
He's a beast, a monster.
I'm telling you.
He has a 4-year-old son.
Whom he has not even seen.
Ramji, look.. - He cheated her.
He married her for money.
He abandoned the mother and
child when the money ran out.
I'm telling you. This is
what he'll do with Sameera, too.
That is their personal matter.
No need for you to interfere.
And moreover, he's helped you.
Help. What help? He took
money for whatever he did.
You don't call this help.
And I'm sure that he's not
given Sameera a single penny..
..from the money that
you gave for Sameera.
Whatever kind of person
he is, whatever he is..
..you mind your own business.
You're not the husband for real.
This marriage is just
to save you. Got it?
I know that I'm not the husband
for real. I know it very well.
But what do you want?
That I just sit idle.
Ramji.
Hello. Curry Corner.
Just a minute. Take it.
Hello.
- Excuse me, sir. - What?
Father. How are you?
Congratulations.
I've heard great news.
I've heard that you've got married.
How about thinking of
arranging your sister's marriage?
Father, forgive me.
I was in a dilemma.
I had to spend my money here
for the legal proceedings..
Look, Ramji.
Make the arrangements soon.
It will be good for everyone.
Father.. father..
Honey, I've got work tomorrow.
- Come on, Sam.
Even I've got to go in the morning.
- No.
Baby, come on. You need to listen..
- No. please, just go.
Get out.
Didn't you hear what she said? Leave.
Get out. That's the door.
- Ramji.
Get the point on your own.
Otherwise, I know very well..
..how to get the point across to you.
What happened?
Have you had too much to drink?
I didn't drink..
..but I know very well how to set
right a person who's had a drink.
Get out.
- Ramji.
You stay out of this, Sameera.
Who are you to throw me out
of the house? - Her husband.
Husband. Fake husband.
I know very well who's
real and who's fake.
You get out.
- Stop it, Ramji.
And don't you dare come here again.
I'll teach you a fine lesson. Got it?
Hey, how..
- Leave it.
I don't know the ways of your country.
But in our country, we respect women.
We call them Goddess.
And we beat the
person who betrays them.
Hey you, what do you
think of yourself?
Smart. Very smart.
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have intervened
in a matter between a husband and wife.
Sorry. Good thinking, Ramji.
Good thinking.
Is he crazy?
Get out. Get out right now.
How dare you?
You know who he is?
He's my fiance. And you..
Look, Sameera.
What I was trying to
tell you about Jai is that..
About Jai. You'll tell me about Jai.
Tell me. What do you want to say?
What do you know about
Jai that I don't know?
I know him from the past four years.
And you from the past four weeks.
Just get out. Get out.
"The roads are foggy."
"Singing such gloomy songs."
"What is life doing to me?"
"The roads are foggy."
"Singing such gloomy songs."
"What is life doing to me?"
"What I'd thought will never happen."
"I'll have to live according to
the conditions set by others."
"This is not what I'd asked for."
"In what fog have I got lost?"
"Everything is so cold."
"There is unbearable pain."
"What is life doing to me?"
Hello.
- Hi, love. Good morning.
Good morning.
- Give the phone to Ramji.
Ramji.
- Yes, Ramji.
I threw him out of the house.
- But why?
You're asking me this?
Despite the fact that last
night he misbehaved so badly.
Do you think he was
misbehaving with me?
No way. The police was
keeping a watch outside.
Police? - If he'd seen
both of us in this manner..
..then we could have
been in a problem.
Why didn't Ramji tell me this?
- Didn't tell you.
You must have not given
him the chance to speak.
Oh, God.
- I need to apologise.
I'll find out where he is.
I'll call you back, okay.
Okay, keep me posted. Bye.
What? You threw Ramji out
of the house. - Oh, God.
Have you lost it, Sameera?
Granny, it's a long story.
I'll just explain it to you.
Please. One second.
Hello.. hello.. Appu.
Hi. Sameera. Is Ramji there?
Okay. No, no. Not to worry.
I'll call you back.
Take care. Yes. Bye.
Sameera. Sameera.
Ramji..
Ramji..
Ramji..
- Parvati.
What are you doing here?
Ramji, I'm really sorry..
- No, no, Sameera.
The mistake is mine.
I'd forgotten that
between us there is not only..
..a difference of
6000-7000 miles, but..
..a difference of 6-7 generations too.
Yes, but.. - In our village,
if a guy holds some girl's hand..
..then the whole village
forces them to marry each other.
But you, despite knowing
everything about Jai..
Look, Ramji. We'll talk
about this later. You look ill.
What has happened to me?
I'm just the way I am.
Yes, it's different if you
don't want to talk. - Ramji..
Ramji, no need to go to
work today. You're ill.
Tomorrow, when you get well,
you can work day and night.
Sameera, I'm well.
You don't worry about me.
Granny, why don't you stop him?
How can I stop him?
You're his wife.. you stop him.
Listen, Grandma..
..you're pressing the
husband-wife drama issue too much.
I'm all right. I'll see you later.
Ramji, listen.
Oh, my God.
You tell me, what could I have done?
She knows everything.
I didn't know anything.
Unnecessarily,
I was interfering in their matter.
Sameera knows everything.
Are you sure?
Yes, sure, sure.
Not only does she know all this but..
..she has no qualms about this matter.
Now it's her life.
She can live the way she likes.
What happened?
- I feel a bit weak.
You've got fever.
- No, I'm fine.
You can't even stand.
How you can be fine?
You come with me.
- Let it be. The bus is about to come.
Come. I'll take you to
the doctor. Come with me.
Listen to me.
Sameera.
- Granny, there's good news.
Guess what? Ramji's
recipe has been selected.
I've got a letter from the organisers.
I've completed all the formalities.
Sameera, can you come home soon?
Ramji is not well.
He has a high temperature too.
- Did you call the doctor?
Just give him the medicine
I've prescribed. - Okay.
He should be okay by tomorrow.
- Thank you, Doctor.
Take care, young man.
- Greetings.
What was she saying?
She said to take care.
You'll be well by tomorrow.
How will he not take care of himself?
Now Ramji has to get well.
After all he has to prepare for
the competition. - Hi, Sam. - Hi.
I've spent a hundred
pounds as your entry fee.
You've reached the
finals in the competition.
Congratulations.
- Wow!
Oh, God. Appu, learn some
good recipe from Ramji quickly.
Because he's going to
win the competition..
..and after that
he'll become a great cook.
And then he'll be beyond our grasp.
Why are you joking, Brother Guru?
I'm regretting taking an off today.
You just get well soon.
Who will read out a story to Sonu?
In fact, I've myself become a story.
Hey, if you both are here,
then who'll be in the restaurant?
No one. That's why I'm saying
brother Guru let me come with you.
Come on, you guys get back to work.
Sonu must be alone.
I'll manage the things at this end.
Okay, bye. - Thanks.
- I'll be there to take care.
Ramji, take care.
- Bye. See you. - Bye, Sam.
I forgot.
Even I should have thanked them.
Ramji, your bus-stop friend
has come with the medicines.
Good girl.
Hi.
- Hi.
Now how are you feeling, Ramji?
- Fine.
These are the medicines.
- I'll take it. Thanks.
He talks a lot about you.
Really. Good or bad?
- Mostly good.
Why don't you sit down?
Yes, sure.
- Yes, do have a seat.
Congratulations for your engagement.
I hope you and Jai
have a good life together.
Thank you so much. Do you know Jai?
Then what? Would she have
married Jai without knowing him?
What?
No, no. She knows everything.
Sameera, this is Avni,
Jai's first wife.
You said that you knew everything.
Last night, this is
what I was trying to..
Excuse me.
'What happened is that
for falling in love..
..the lawyer was charging money.'
'The person who
charges so much money..
..he'll surely talk
about love and not hatred.'
Insurance.. Excuse me.
Yes, Sam. 9:00pm, Masti. Yes, okay.
Sameera, think it through
properly before you take any step.
Think from your head, not your heart.
Got it? Okay, go dear.
Ramji, come. Go. Go.
- I should go along?
Go, go with her. Go.
Sameera, listen..
- Don't touch me.
Look, Avni was a mistake.
And when I realised it, I ended it.
So Avni was a mistake.
And when did you realise it?
A few years after marriage.
Before Rahul was born.. or after?
Rahul.
Rahul is not my son.
Really.
So Rahul is not your son.
Don't insult my intelligence, Jai.
Oh, God. You make me sick.
I'd taken the courage to come here..
..because I'd thought at
least today you won't lie to me.
But you're such a scoundrel.
I feel ashamed of myself.
That I came so close
to a man like you.
A person who hasn't even seen..
..the face of his son
for the past three years.
By the way, how long
before you realise..
..that even I'm a mistake?
You're mistaken.
If you have any self-respect..
..you'll never come near me again.
Such wretched people don't care.
Despite all that has happened..
..he had the guts to threaten me.
- Threaten you?
Yes, that he'll get me arrested..
..and get Ramji ousted
from the country.
How can he just throw me out?
After all, he has taken
so much of money from Guru.
Money? For what?
To rid Guru
and me of this legal problem.
He said he'd give you all the money.
What a scoundrel!
Child, don't underestimate
his threat.
He can do anything.
Dear, there's only one way out.
If both of you prove
in the immigration interview..
..that your marriage is real.
then not just Jai..
..but even law won't not be
in a position to harm either of you.
And that'll be the worst
defeat for Jai.
Now, both of you should know
everything about each other.
She was 12 or 13-year-old..
..when she'd won
a badminton tournament.
Oh, my God, the trophy is huge.
And this is her childhood photograph.
She was allergic to bathing.
Granny, don't show that.
- Yes, yes, you shouldn't.
I don't know about bathing..
..but she's still allergic
to wearing clothes.
Hey, I was just joking.
Just kidding.
Her bike number's BMWC1.
Is it necessary to know all these?
Ms. Sameera, what is your size?
34-B.
- 34-B?
What're you saying?
That's apt for an elephant's.
In my village, the maximum is..
The maximum is six or seven.
What size were you talking about?
Seven.
Are you sure about this, Mr. Kapoor?
Yes, I'm sure. I'm sure we'll get
enough evidence to nail them.
Let's do it. We might get something.
Now, I'll tighten the noose
around their neck.
Father's name was..
Hello?
- Hi, Sammy.
Are you still upset with me?
- Jai?
Thank God.
You're at least talking to me.
I thought,
you won't even speak to me.
Please forgive me, Sammy.
I really love you.
He's making jalebi
(Fried syrupy pretzel).
Our kids will look just like you.
- Recording.
He's recording it?
Please forgive me, Sameera.
I'll explain everything to you.
I..I can't wait any longer
for our marriage.
Marriage? Kids?
I'm married, Jai.
What rubbish?
To that illiterate fellow?
You got married
to keep the law at bay.
Remember.
And yes, honey, the money
you got for the marriage..
..has been deposited
in our joint account.
The money given to you? - You
can withdraw it anytime you want.
I didn't take it. They'll arrest
you if you try to withdraw it.
Just say no.
- When this legal fuss is over..
..you can divorce that Pyaare.
I haven't taken the money.
- Then we'll get married.
I'm desperately waiting for you.
Have you gone crazy?
What money?
I don't understand you.
Okay. - Listen, Sameera, don't play
games with me. I'm telling you.
Please, Jai, I'm already married.
Right now,
Ramji is right here in my lap.
Please don't disturb us.
What? He's in your lap?
- Oh, that one?
Coming, darling. Open the door.
Who are you talking to,
honey? Oh, okay.
It's no one, darling.
It's just Jai.
Oh, it's brother Jai?
Why? Is it something important?
When a couple is cuddling
in their bed..
..one shouldn't disturb them.
Am I right? - Hey, hey, Bihari
(Hailing from Bihar).
Don't you dare touch Sameera.
I'll kill you.
What's wrong with brother Jai?
Is he drunk or what?
Listen, honey,
my back's troubling me.
Can you give me a massage?
What are you both up to?
- Of course, sweetie.
Remove your shirt and lie down.
And what will I get in return?
The usual.
Oh, baby, come here fast.
You're going to pay for this.
I'm telling you.
Yes.
His imagination must be
killing him right now.
You're very naughty, Ramji.
No more than you.
Look at your hand. There are marks
on your hand. - Oh, my God.
Poor guy.
Will you have some coffee?
That's great.
You'll prepare the coffee today?
It'll be worth watching.
- Shut up.
I don't know whether
you'll like it or not.
How can I dare to say..
..that the coffee isn't good
when you've prepared it?
I was saying that..
What else goes on in your village?
If I step out in these clothes
in my village..
..dogs will chase me down.
All my friends will pass comments,
"Here comes our hero."
If girls there dressed up
as they do here..
..they'd be mobbed.
To see the clothes?
- No.
How can one see them,
if no one's wearing them?
Ramji.
- Yes, it's true.
I think, we should wear this
for the interview.
Give it to me,
I'll slip it in your fingers.
Put it on me, too. Let me.
"Say something true.."
"When in love, what do you do?"
"Do..do..do..do."
"Glowing fireflies swarm the day."
"Aroma falls off your eyes."
"Is it a dream or an illusion?"
"I don't know, and neither do you."
Look over there.
He's my first boyfriend.
There's no such thing as girlfriends
and boyfriends in our village.
Please tell me about Parvati.
I have a sister called Parvati
in my native place.
What do I tell you about Parvati?
She's very mischievous.
Nothing's strange actually.
Yes, you're right.
"My heart is brimming with joy."
"What's this witchcraft?"
"Look, what never happened,
has happened to me."
"A tranquil breeze flows."
"Asking about my well being."
"Someone like me,
follows my shadow."
Sameera, Ramji has reached
the finals of the competition.
Look at this.
- Wow.
What happened? Someone tell me.
Come on, we have lots to do.
"The shades are imbued
with silky touch."
"Sunshine pampers the soul."
"In solitude, the moon
starts up a conversation."
"Restlessness stirs the night."
"What quest are they on?"
"Why the inquisition?"
"What is the unknown,
that pulsates within?"
Go, dear. Just leave.
I implore you to leave us.
Look, Parvati,
now it's not about money anymore.
We've had it up till here.
Your brother Ramji has
fooled us enough.
He's happily married there,
but left you in lurch.
Father, don't say that.
At least listen to me.
Look, Parvati,
I don't have any option.
Before I drop my modesty
and do unkind things to you..
..spare us the horror, and leave.
What deceitful people!
He had promised us
to pay us on time?
I called Ramji so many times..
..still he didn't
come to his senses.
Hello? I wanted to speak to Ramji.
He's not home. And who are you..?
- Sister-in-law?
Parvati?
- How did you know it was me?
Anyone who knows Ramji,
will obviously know you?
He talks about so much..
- I wanted to talk to Ramji?
Parvati, is everything all right?
Please tell me.
Consider, you're talking to Ramji.
Tell me.
They threw me out of the house.
I'm standing all alone out
in the night.
I'm scared, too.
When I called my husband in Patna..
..he hung up as soon as
he heard my voice.
I said it was only a minor delay.
Ramji's working hard
to get the money.
But they didn't listen to me.
I though about ending my life.
And put an end to all this mess.
But Pappu saved me.
- Pappu?
He's Ramji's childhood friend.
I'll.. Here, talk to Pappu.
Hello.
- Thank you, for whatever you did.
Will you be by Parvati's side?
Regardless of what happens,
I'll never let her cry.
Will you marry her?
I said, no matter what..
..she won't be sad now.
I'll be with her throughout
her life.
But what about Ramji?
- Don't worry about him.
Put Parvati on the phone.
Look, Parvati, Ramji will die
if anything happens to you.
You called me your sister-in-law.
So listen to me carefully.
Hello? Bank of London?
Bank of London customer services.
Yes.
- What can I do for you, ma'am?
I just needed to get some
money transferred to India.
Yes, sure.
Could you give me some details?
Could you brief me on that?
- Yes, sure.
But that's impossible.
I mean, how can that be?
Well, that's what it says here, sir.
What seems to be the problem, sir?
Look, I have a joint account
in your bank.
But this gentleman says
there's no money in my account.
How's that possible?
It's very simple, sir. Your partner
has withdrawn all your money.
There's nothing we can do, sir.
Darn it.
You've betrayed me.
I love you so much.
And you ditched me
for that bloody illiterate!
I won't spare you.
And I won't spare this Ramji either.
You want to go at war with me?
I'll get you imprisoned.
I'll get both of you imprisoned.
Just watch out. I'll reveal
everything tomorrow morning..
..to the Immigration officers..
They both have ruined my life.
I just wanted to help you, Guru.
- Oh, shut up, Jai.
You were deceiving Sameera,
me, and everyone else.
Whatever you did,
you did it for yourself.
And I always thought of you
as my friend, Jai.
I never imagined
you could do such a thing.
Oh, so even
you've fallen for this cook?
Guru, don't forget I can get you
imprisoned, too, if I want to.
It'll be better if you stop talking
about sending people to jail.
Because I can get you imprisoned
right now, if I want to.
After the divorce, you've paid us
nothing for the past three years..
..for Rahul's upbringing
and my expenses.
I don't need your money.
But I won't miss the opportunity..
..to send you to jail for the crime
you've committed.
Jai, what're you doing?
What's wrong with you?
How low will you sink?
How much more?
My life's finished.
Finished. It's over.
Sorry. Sorry, everybody.
I'm really sorry.
Ms. Sameera..
- What?
Sameera was born in Middlesex.
- Yes.
It's Middlesex, right?
Yes, it's Middlesex.
You're doing fine.
Go ahead. - What type of
a name is it? It's so vulgar.
It sounds like a eunuch, Middlesex.
Chhota Imambada.
The village's Takipur.
District is Purnima.
- Prunima? It's Purniya, Sameera.
Oh, not again.
Her father used to work
for Hoover Company.
Her parents died
in a car accident in 1993.
The village is Takipur. District..
- His friend's name?
Come on.
- Prakash Kumar?
Ms. Sameera's mother's name was
Akhandvathi.. I mean, Arundathi.
Ramji..Ramji, your phone.
You're connected.
The line to my village's
been connected? Give me.
Hello? Hey, did you call Pappu?
No, no, Pappu..
- Ramji?
Hey, Pappu.
Please forgive me, Ramji.
- Come on, Pappu. Let it be.
No, Ramji.
I know you must've felt bad.
But I couldn't
think of anything else.
Entire village was gossiping.
How could I bear such
things about Parvati?
How could I've leave her alone?
I took an advice from sister-in-law.
And with her permission,
I got married to Parvati..
..in front of the entire village.
If you think. I've wronged you,
then please forgive me.
I should be the one to apologise.
Both, to you and Parvati.
I couldn't understand.
No, I didn't want to understand.
Pappu..Pappu, please forgive me.
You don't have to worry about
Parvati at all. I am here.
The entire village has
their hopes on you.
Keep moving ahead.
You have everybody's blessings.
Return as a very famous
and a hugely successful person.
So that our village becomes popular
in every corner.
And when you return..
..the entire village
can proudly say..
.."He's our Ramji."
"He's our Ramji."
- Fine.
Fine.
Why are you tying this,
brother Guru?
It's choking me.
- Who's Ajay Kapoor?
Ajay Kapoor's her lawyer
and family friend.
Am I right?
- Yes, yes.
My watch?
- Have you put the ring on?
Oh, God. Look at this.
- Show me. Okay.
What's the name of the school?
- Granny, get the file. Fast.
Yes, I'm coming.
- Granny, get it.
Yes, here's your file.
Listen, I have your red file.
This black one belongs to me.
- Yes.
Come on. Come on. Bye, Granny.
- Come on fast.
Granny, give me your blessings.
- Let's go.
I'm leaving. I'm leaving.
Come on.
- Thank God.
Ramji, you remember everything,
right?
Don't worry at all.
I'll handle everything.
By the way, your mother's
name was Anumati, right?
Not Anumati but Arundathi.
I'm just kidding.
I remember everything. Go ahead.
Mr. Ramji, you can sit in here.
- Fine.
Here?
- That's right. You can go in.
What happened?
Actually, the officer's
watching us, isn't he?
Yes.
- That's why.
Otherwise, they might be suspicious.
The name of her
favorite perfume is..
Hey, Ramji.
- Hello, sir.
Be seated. Be seated.
- Thank you.
How are you?
- Absolutely fine.
Okay.
Mr. Ramji, for your information,
this conversation's being recorded.
Yes, fine. What's she saying?
She's saying that our conversation's
being recorded, okay? - Okay.
Ready?
- Yes.
Your name?
- Ramji.
Your full name.
- Ramji Ram Narayan Tiwari.
Why did he come to London?
For work.
- What type of work do you want?
I am a cook. I cook food.
You're a travel agent.
And he's a cook?
So where and when did you both meet?
Actually, I had a vacant room
in my house.
So I thought to keep a PG.
So, I ended up at her house.
- Fine.
And I became the 'P' type guest.
Sister's name?
- Parvati.
He loves her very much.
What's her shoe size?
Her shoe size is seven.
The first time I asked her,
her shoe size..
..her answer was 34.
And then I realised that
34 is the number of her..
Her shoe size is seven.
Why such haste in getting married?
What?
Yes. Only in two days?
- Actually, granny suddenly fell ill.
Granny was being very adamant.
She told us that she wanted to
see us married before she died.
Okay. Now, tell me..
..what do you like
the most about your wife?
Look, she's been very independent
since her childhood.
She alone took care of her family.
Just like me.
What really attracted me was
his innocence, his simplicity.
Her hard and complex exterior..
..hides her soft
and tenderness inside.
Despite being so simple..
..his mindset is far superior than
the intellectuals in this country.
Her heart's like a child.
Ramji's approach
to everything is such..
..that he can simplify even
the most complex problems.
Anger's always by her side.
But her heart's pure.
His innocence makes everyone smile.
When she's upset,
she sheds huge pearl-like tears.
Ramji understands my needs..
..even before I do.
Just like my mother.
Just caress her forehead lovingly..
..and she turns
into an adorable soul.
Ramji ignited in me the emotions..
..through which I can
relive my childhood.
He's a wonderful man.
What a wonderful story.
I envy you.
Congratulations.
Congratulations,
and all the very best. - Thank you.
Thanks.
Fine. Now last question,
from my side. It's not official.
Don't take it the wrong way.
You're just a cook from an
insignificant part of Bihar. - Yes.
And Sameera was born
and brought up here.
A travel agent. -Yes.
She is completely western.
Do you think that
she'll be able to live with you..
..and fulfill the responsibility
of a dutiful Indian wife?
I don't know anything about that.
But I know she never demeaned me
for being a cook.
She's done far more than that.
Something..
..that even I couldn't have
gathered to courage to do.
She alone helped
my sister settle down.
To secure Parvati's future..
..she sent all the money
to my village..
..which she had received
to become my wife.
Only an Indian wife
can do such a thing.
Ramji, you went too
far with your emotions..
..and said what you shouldn't have.
- What're you saying?
Oh, regarding the money.
Sir, please don't do this.
I'll be ruined.
A lot of lives depend on it.
Please do something, sir.
I'm your wife.
You can surely hug me.
Everything's ruined.
You'll have to come with me,
please. Come.
Sameera, you should talk to him.
At least let him know.
You have to tell him how you feel.
Granny, I don't know what to do.
Everything was going so well.
Everything.
And now..
Come on, Mr. Ramji, please.
I don't know how will I
ever repay your favours.
Especially Ms. Sameera's.
No, son. We all got to learn
something from all this.
We had some good time, son.
By the way, where's she?
Son, she didn't come here.
Granny? - She couldn't
get herself to meet you.
I can understand.
I'll take your leave.
Forgive me if..
I'll leave now.
Please let me bid goodbye
to the child.
Hey, dear Sonu,
who will tell stories to you now?
Won't you look at me?
Mr. Ramji. Mr. Ramji.
We are delighted to be able to reveal
that you're the winner of the..
..'Elephant brand Atta (Flour)
dish with a difference competition'.
As a winner, you've
won 50,000 pounds..
..and we'll be more than happy
to offer you the job as Head Chef.
What're they saying?
They're saying that
you've won the competition, Ramji.
What?
- Everything will be all right now.
You've won the competition, Ramji.
You're the first Indian winner of
this competition. What's the secret?
Excuse me, everybody.
Before this gets any more confusing.
This man is not entitled..
..to do anything in this country.
- What is he saying?
As he has been classed
as an illegal immigrant.
He has to go to the airport now.
As we are late already.
- But, Brother Guru, you said..
..everything's all right now?
Then why isn't this inspector
listening to me?
Ramji. - Please, somebody,
do something. This is not fair.
How can they just take him away?
- This is a police matter.
He's our winner. You can't do this.
Inspector.
- Out of my way.
Take it up with the Home Office,
madam. It's out of my hands.
You can't do this, officer.
How.. We'll speak to the authorities.
You're very bad, sir.
I wish, you were never born.
Hi, this is Emilie.
Can I speak to the chairman please?
You'll have to get clear papers
from the Indian Embassy. Yes.
Yes.
Excuse me, officer.
I'm from the Home Office.
Mr. Ramji is not
an illegal immigrant.
He lost his passport
and his work permit..
..when he arrived in the country.
Yes, he has the copy
of the document..
..and the verification
of their authenticity..
..by the Indian high commission.
And here's the order
for his release.
It seems he's been sponsored
by a British company.
These all seem to be in order.
I guess Mr. Ramji is a free man.
What happened?
- Oh, God.
What happened?
- Congratulations, Ramji.
They said you're free to go.
Well done.
Here, we appoint you as Head Chef.
What're they saying? - You're free.
They can't arrest you.
If you want you can even stay here.
This is 50,000 pounds.
Mr. Ramji, now that you've won.
What're you going to do
with the prize money?
They're asking, what will you
do with the prize money?
This is my money?
Yes, the whole of it.
Every single penny.
Now you don't have to go.
If you want you can stay here.
Everything will be all right.
- Yes, Ramji.
Can I take this
and go to my village?
Go home? Money? My money?
Why will you go back?
Why do you want to go back to your
village? Everything's all right now.
Yes, Brother Guru,
everything is all right.
I had come here for Parvati's sake.
And it's done.
With this money,
I'll repay my debt to you.
But why do you want to go back?
Sister, I didn't come here
to earn money.
I came here to solve a problem.
And it's been solved.
And if I still go on to stay here..
..then it'll be
for myself and for money.
It's possible, as you say, that
I might become a very famous cook.
And earn lots of money.
And I even buy
a secondhand Mercedes like you.
But what good will
that Mercedes be..
..if I can't see my Parvati and Pappu
drive in it with their head held high.
Brother Guru, what good is a car..
..if my villagers don't
see me drive it?
What good is all the fame
and prosperity..
..if my uncle Chotu can't brag
about it throughout the village?
I'll end up craving to meet
them throughout my life.
But..But my villagers..
..will never be able to reap
the benefits of my success.
And I'll be left
as a successful cook..
..but an incomplete man in London.
But, Brother Guru,
if I return home with this money..
..then you can't even imagine the
how many dreams will be fulfilled
My villagers will be
very proud of me.
I'll open up
an English medium school there.
So that no one else will grow
up to be an illiterate like me.
And then the people will say..
.."Look there. There's our Ramji
Londonwale (From London)."
Brother Guru, that's my identity.
And that's the most
important thing to me.
Ramji, do you really have to leave?
There are few moments in life..
..when you have to choose
between what you love most..
..and your responsibilities.
My heart wants me to choose
the most loving thing.
But the mind wants me
to choose responsibility.
The special thing about
my most cherished thing is..
..that I can see her
even with closed eyes.
But what about responsibilities?
I can't turn a blind
eye towards them, right?
I'll remember it
throughout my life..
..that I had met an angel in London.
Whatever you said is true.
But I want to say something.
No. No, Ms. Sameera, please.
Please don't say anything.
Look, it's been really
difficult for me..
..to make this decision.
Look, I'm doing what's right.
And I want you to support me
in this, too.
I'll leave now.
You're a strange man.
I thought, I understand
all love stories very well.
But you showed a very different
aspect of a love story.
By the way, all the love stories
do have a happy ending.
But the end of your story..
..has two lovers parting
from each other.
And still,
this ending seems appropriate.
You're a strange man.
Take care.
Bye.
- Oh, yes. Bye.
Hey, police officer,
this belongs to you.
It's a pleasure to restore
your dignity to you, Mr. Ramji.
I was only doing my duty.
It's been a privilege to know you.
And if you ever
do come back to England..
..you've always got a place to stay..
..and a friend you can trust.
You take care.
God knows what he's saying?
I can't understand anything.
But a heart understands
the matter of heart.
I'm sure you said something good.
You're a very good inspector.
Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
"Nobody should cast an evil eye."
- Ramji.
"Nobody should cast an evil eye
on my Ramji." - Ramji.
Whatever happened, happened.
I wish, I could tell him.
Just once..
He didn't even give me a chance,
Granny.
Now, we'll never meet him again.
I'll miss him.
I'll miss you, too.
What?
I'll miss both of you.
- What?
Silly, you meet
a person like Ramji..
..only once in a lifetime.
And then not to tell him
about your feelings..
..is a height of foolishness.
Moron.
Don't lose this opportunity.
Take this. These are your passport
and your tickets.
Before it's too late, go for it,
baby. He's the man for you.
Go. Come on.
Granny.
- My love.
Go for it. Go.
Go ahead, child.
Don't miss this chance.
Go. Go.
What happened to my baby?
Why are you crying?
Will you go to your papa?
Look at him. He's not stopping.
Go back to your mother.
- Give me.
You'll know, when you have your own.
You'll have to do all by yourself.
- Is anybody listening to me?
Just bring the things required
for the prayer ceremony.
It's getting late.
Why don't you cut the ribbon?
Why are you screaming? There is
still five more minutes, right?
Look, Ms. Sameera, five..
Ms. Honey. Granny just
arrived from London.
We can ask her to inaugurate it.
The auspicious time is passing by.
You are looking so cute.
- Whom are we waiting for?
Only five minutes, friend.
We're waiting for a special guest.
Special guest?
- Yes.
Who's this special guest?
- Here, Ramji.
What happened?
- I think, he's here.
"Burst of vibrant colours.."
"Burst of vibrant colours,
sprays her drapes with vivid hues."
"Burst of vibrant colours,
sprays her drapes with vivid hues."
"Burst of vibrant colours,
sprays her drapes with vivid hues."
"Burst of vibrant colours,
sprays her drapes with vivid hues."
"Delicious food was served
on a gold plate."
"Delicious food was served
on a gold plate."
"Delicious food was served
on a gold plate."
"Her love devours,
and the husband's left gazing."
"Burst of vibrant colours,
sprays her drapes with vivid hues."
Why?
Indeed.
This is the limit, isn't it?
You buy a ticket
and see us whenever you desire.
But you won't give me a chance..
..to taste your world famous
Gajar ka halwa (Carrot pudding).
An ordinary man's dream can be
fulfilled to this extent.
I hadn't dreamed
about this dream ever.
Everything is possible, my friend.
All you need is passion.
Come, I'll do the inauguration.
Where is the scissor?
- Here.
Come on, everybody, please clap.
"Ramji has a spice for everyone.."
Everything is possible.
"Ramji has a spice for everyone.."
"Key to every lock."
"Lock to every key."
"Key to every lock."
"Lock to every key."
"He's associated
with a family of cooks."
"Associated with a family of cooks."
"For generations together the art
of cookery runs in their blood."
"He's associated
with a family of cooks."
"Though he's a toad in a well.."
"..but he's the king of the well."
"The whole well sings
praises of him."
"He has spent
many a years grilling himself.."
"..in mastering
the art of grilling."
"Ramji has a spice for everyone.."
"Ramji has a spice for everyone.."
"He had the responsibility
of marrying off his sister."
"Day and night this was the thought
that rode his mind."
"He has this art in him."
"He went for a spin in just a turn."
