- Richard Feynman.
- Hi.
- Tell me about yourself.
- Um, I grew up in Queens, New York.
I graduated from M.I.T. in 1939.
M.I.T. was crazy, from hazing to learning to deal with indecipherable professors.
- It was all a great experience.
- You thought hazing was a good experience?
- Sure! It builds character and teaches you how to survive.
Once I graduated from M.I.T.,
I wanted to go to grad school there, but I was rejected.
- We won't let you in here.
-  What?
Why do you want to come to graduate school at M.I.T.?
Because M.I.T. is the best science school in the country.
You think that?
- Yeah.
- That's why you should go to some other school.
Find out how the rest of the world is.
So I went to Princeton.
Princeton was grand. It was almost
an imitation of Oxford or Cambridge, really any English college.
They even drank tea!
What is this?
I asked for coffee, not baby formula!
That's tea, sir.
Hell, when I showed up at Princeton,
I didn't even know what tea was!
I graduated from Princeton in 1942.
Shortly after graduating, I went to Los Alamos
during the war to work on a secret government classified project.
I can't tell you exactly what it is—
(glorious and jingoistic music emanates the United States' almighty dominion)
—but it is very interesting.
I learned to safe crack at Los Alamos,
and I had many adventures with this skill.
I was forced to join the military, eventually,
but I purposely failed my psych test, and was deferred.
(maniacal laughing)
(maniacal laughing continues)
- Gee! We were in there for five minutes,
you were in there for twenty-five minutes!
If you really want to mess with their heads,
why don't you play with your fingers like this?
- Why don't you do that to him?
And then you won't be in the military!
- Well, I WANT to be in the military!
- Well, you just tell that to him,
and then that's how you mess with him!
After this, I worked as a professor at Cornell.
Being a young professor was not very easy,
in those days, especially because I was mistaken
for a freshman by sophomore girls.
I know, being a freshman is hard.
Well, to be honest, I'm a professor here.
YAWK
(music reiterating the fat L that was just taken begins)
During my stay in Ithaca,
I used to go down to a bar in Buffalo,
called the Alibi Room.
- (drunken) I don't like your face, I think I'll push it in.
- Get out of the way, or I'll pee right through you!
(these hands tho)
(that counter tho)
K.O.
- What's the big idea, messing with our friend Pinky?
- Why don't you figure out who started it first?
Hey, no fighting in here, boys!
- That's OK, we'll get him when he leaves.
- Let's go.
- But, but he said—
- I don't care what he said, we're going.
- Go, go, go! They're coming!
- I'm driving fast, man!
- Oh, look out, it's a cop!
(it's not just any cop)
(none of that civil servant balderdash)
(none of that "serve to protect" hogwash)
it's
cha
Boy
Son,
why were you going 60 in a 25 mile an hour zone?
Um, we were drag racing.
You were,
drag racing,
IN A PRIUS?
I left Cornell to go to Brazil for ten months,
being inspired by a hitchhiker I picked up.
During my stay,
I learned to play the frigideira and the bongo drums.
At first, I wasn't very good—
(rare footage of J. Cole playing drums)
- I played in a small samba band from the favelas of Rio.
I played during Carnivale,
which was an enlightening experience.
I received a teaching offer from Caltech
about two weeks ago.
I took it after bargaining with Cornell
and a laboratory in Chicago.
I've been lecturing at Caltech for two weeks now,
and that's why I'm sitting in this seat, across from you.
- Wow.
- Yeah, I guess I'm a pretty one-sided guy.
(Alaska Airlines 2012 Safety Video not recommended for actual safety procedure.)
