Welcome back to engVid. Here we are with a
writing lesson. We are looking at the skill
of showing, not telling, and it's going to
transform your writing as long as you put
it into practice afterwards. "Show,
not tell. What's he talking about?"
When we're writing we want to avoid simple
statements that don't really add any description
or flavour. For example: "The man was stressed."
[Snores] Boring. Instead, I want you to paint
a picture, I really want you to describe the
man is stressed without telling me that he
is. So how can you do that? We're kind of
trying to avoid this word, and describe it
instead. So what's he doing? "The man was
fidgeting. Ah, he's fidgeting. He's so stressed,
he can't sort of stay still. And biting his
nails." Okay? So pick out a couple of details
that show how the person was.
Next one: "The room was messy." Again, it's a
simple, simple sentence. It's just one sort
of main clause and it's not very interesting.
Much better to describe the items in the room
that make it messy. For example: "There was a
leftover pizza, dirty clothes were strewn"...
I'll write that word for you. That means they
were covering the floor. "...and there were
dirty plates and cups". Okay? These details
give us the idea that it is messy.
Example three: "The woman was confident."
Okay, but it would be much more effective
if you described how she was confident. So,
how does she move? How do other people react
to her? "She strode", that means she walked,
but with purpose. Okay? So I've picked an
interesting verb. "She strode into the room,
and everyone turned their heads to notice
her." Okay? Much clearer, more vivid idea of
confidence than just saying she was confident.
Example four: "The boy was careful." Tell us
how he was careful. "He placed his favourite
magazine in the top drawer of his cabinet."
Okay? So we need to say exactly what he is
placing, the object there has been missed
out. "He placed"... There's no room for me
to write it. You get the idea, he places his
favourite book or magazine, and look how specific
it is: "the top drawer
of his cabinet".
Next example: "The stadium was full." Again, I'm
bored with this simple sentence construction.
We need to make it more interesting. "The
sound from the stadium was deafening", okay?
And then give us some main action perhaps:
"The sound from the stadium was deafening
as the crowd rose up to chant the player's
name." Okay? Give the sense that the stadium
is full from what you can see
and what you can hear. Okay?
A couple of ones to describe weather. "It was
hot." Okay? Well, a very young child could
write a sentence like that, so if you're sort
of a teenager or an adult, it's time to raise
the bar. How can we tell that it is hot? Well:
"The sun was causing damage to", "The sun
was melting", "The sun was burning", "The sun
was causing the lady's skin to turn red".
Okay? Pick out details
that show the effect.
"It was cold. It was cold." How do we know
it was cold? How cold did it feel? What can
you see? "Drainpipes were freezing, ice was
as thick as"... I don't know. "It was three
inches thick." Whatever, you've got to show
details rather than just stating things. -"It
was windy." -"The umbrella was totally bent out
of shape. The umbrella"-you know for keeping
the rain off us-"was totally"-that means fully-"bent"-Yeah?
Bent-"...out of shape", out of its normal
position.
"He found it funny." Right? How funny did he
find it? Okay? Better to... For us to get
the idea to picture what he was doing: "He
was rolling around the floor in hysterics."
Okay? When you're so... Find something so
funny, you're like: [Laughs]. Okay? He can't
control his body he finds it so funny. "Hysterics",
that means like totally lost control. "Hysteria".
Okay? Hysterics. "In hysterics" means
finding something really, really funny.
"The castle was captured." Right. I want to get
a sense of drama. I want to imagine what's
happening there at the castle. Is the king
having his head cut off? Are the new army
marching in? What's happening? "The new flag
was hoisted up on high, greeted by a cheer
from the crowd." Okay? Paint pictures, pick
out details. Okay? It's good to have a range
of adjectives, but how can you show those
adjectives? How can you describe them instead?
Thank you for watching today's video. Have
a go at the quiz after this, and I'll see
you very soon. Remember
to subscribe. Bye.
