(ding)
- Hey everybody, happy Thursday.
Now I have heard from so many of you
that you want me to talk
about the Netflix movie
that just came out called To the Bone.
If you don't know what it is
and you are someone who has recovered
from an eating disorder,
it might not be the best thing to watch,
but today let's talk about it.
As a licensed therapist and
an eating disorder specialist,
I have to be honest that I liked the film
because it was so true
and very realistic.
I worked in hospital settings
that looked very similar
to the one she left at
the beginning of the film.
And the one in the home is
the types of treatment centers
that I spent the most time in,
not to mention all of
the different behaviors
they showed the girls doing.
The baggy clothes,
the smoking of cigarettes,
the resistance and fight
against therapists.
All of that was so familiar to me
and I really feel like it
was truthfully represented.
When I first sat down
to watch To the Bone,
I was hopeful that they would showcase
all different types of eating disorders.
It was very clear from the beginning
that our main character was
going to struggle with anorexia.
Ellen, or Eli that you follow,
that is what her diagnosis is.
However, when she gets
to the treatment center,
I liked that they had all
different types represented,
and even a male was in
the treatment center,
which no one ever talks about,
and it's just as common,
and I think it's important
for us to remember
that eating disorders don't
care what shape or size
or gender we are.
Everyone can struggle,
and I really liked that they showed that.
Another thing that I kind
of both loved and hated
about the film
was the resistance that we got from Ellen.
The main character can be so
aggressive and so frustrating
and push back against everyone
who's trying to help her.
And the reason I loved and hated it,
I loved it because it's very true,
it's very realistic.
I still deal with that
in my private practice
with my eating disorder patients.
But then I hated it because
it's also really hard
to deal with and something that,
as a therapist, we're
always trying to find
other tricky ways to get in
so that you'll finally accept us
and accept the help
we're trying to give you.
The next thing that I really liked
is the fact that they
showcased how competitive
eating disorders can be.
Whether it was Megan, the
girl who was pregnant,
saying to Ellen when she first
got to the treatment center,
"Well how many times
have you been a patient?"
And of course she had to one-up her.
And then the looks around the table
when they were doing that,
and looking at each
other's food and comparing.
I appreciated how they showed true to form
what eating disorders
can feel and look like.
I also liked that they
showed a family session.
Not all films about eating disorders
show what treatment can look like
and have it be true to form.
The aggression from the
stepmother and her real mother,
and not to mention the anger
that we saw from her sister.
It's all very true and
something that I've dealt with
with my clients for years,
and I just really liked
that they took the time
to really show it,
and then also show the fallout for Ellen,
the struggle afterwards to deal
with a difficult session like that
and keep moving forward in her recovery.
Another thing I loved about this film
is when her mom comes to
the tent where she's staying
and wants to feed her a bottle
and cries, saying that she accepts
that maybe Ellen does want to die,
and she's okay with that, she accepts it.
And I think that this whole conversation
shows not only how hard
it can be for parents,
but also that there is a component
of needing to heal past wounds
and the re-mothering that
her mom was trying to do
by feeding her that bottle,
and just wanting to hold her daughter.
It made me tear up because
it's such a component
to eating disorder recovery,
not for everyone,
obviously everyone's
experience is different.
But with regard to this
person that we're following,
Ellen, it was such a powerful moment
and I liked that they gave it the time
that it needed so that
we could really feel
for not only her mom,
but Ellen, who's really struggling.
The last thing I loved about this film
was how no nonsense, no
bullshit the doctor was.
Keanu Reeves's character,
I liked that he didn't put
up with any of their shit
and he called them on it,
and he was caring and loving,
but also hard,
and that's definitely the way
that I personally practice therapy
because I think we can only get so far
being extremely soft.
At one point, we're gonna have
to draw the line in the sand
and say,
"Hey, you have to decide
that you want to get better
"and that life is worth living,
"and I can't do that for you."
And I appreciated that they showed
how that actually can work.
I know they said it was
a very different style,
but I truly believe that that is the way
that therapy needs to
be done for many people.
Now on to my dislikes,
and there were only
actually two in this film.
The first being I didn't like that they
made Ellen or Eli and Luke romantic.
I didn't think that was necessary.
In order to keep us
focused on the treatment
and the various types of eating disorders
and how hard it can be for people,
I just thought that that
wasn't necessary at all
and I really didn't like it.
My second and final but
largest gripe about this film
is why in the world
would you
be in Netflix
create a film about eating disorders,
cast the lead actress, Lily Collins,
who already had an eating
disorder that you know about,
and then have her lose
weight for the role?
That's extremely irresponsible,
not to mention so incredibly dangerous.
We all know that eating disorders
are sneaky motherfuckers
and they will try to find their way in
one way or another.
And how are they to know that
they didn't cause a relapse?
Would you have a recovering heroin addict
just do it just once for a role?
Or someone who's
recovering from alcoholism
just do a couple shots, you know,
just of tequila, just to
make it really authentic.
They should be ashamed of themselves.
I could never get over that.
That was so upsetting to
me that they would do that,
especially because the director herself
also struggled with an eating disorder.
We know eating disorders
come in all shapes and sizes,
so why did you have to
make her lose weight?
I'd like to know that.
And I know articles now are saying,
"Oh, she's working with a dietician
"to gain the weight back healthily."
I'm not worried about the food.
I'm worried about what that
could have done to her mentally.
I don't know if it could
have caused a relapse.
I hope not,
but I think that even this action,
the fact that that was part of her role,
I think was horribly irresponsible,
and I'm extremely disappointed.
And the last thing I want to mention
is I truly loved that
this story wasn't tied up
in a pretty little bow.
We never really understood
what the main reason
or cause of her eating disorder was.
And I actually liked that
because she was on this path
of personal understanding,
and they leave us at the end
of her just returning
to the treatment center.
We don't know if she got better,
but it leaves us with a sense of hope,
this hope for more,
this hope for a happy, healthy life.
And I really liked the
fact that they just kind of
let that hang
and let that sit with us
as the credits rolled.
It really felt authentic and true.
And I'll just end by saying that
yeah, the movie might be triggering.
If you're in recovery,
I wouldn't recommend it,
but I do think it's a great film.
It showcases a true story
about an eating disorder
and I honestly think it
does a really good job.
So if you're interested,
I would check it out.
IF you're new to my channel,
click here to subscribe.
(ding)
And if you want more information
about eating disorders,
because like I said,
I specialize in its treatment
and I have done a ton of videos,
you wanna click over
there and check 'em out
and I will see you next time.
Bye.
