The Harry Potter world may seem like a wondrous
place filled with magic, butterbeer and chocolate
frogs.
But there are still some pretty dark and twisted
parts to the stories.
The series may have been kid-friendly at first,
but it quickly did away with any age constraints
to cast its spell on generations, thanks in
part to some surprisingly grown-up elements.
From suggestive names to infuriating character
choices, here are some aspects of the Harry
Potter series that take on a whole new meaning
for adult audiences.
Negligence or abuse?
Dumbledore does a great job of passing himself
off as a kindly, benevolent father figure
to Harry and the rest of the student body.
But if you take a close look at his actual
actions, he's a pretty icy person who knowingly
sends children into harm's way for the sake
of an obscure prophecy.
And his willingness to throw Harry to the
wolves, sometimes literally speaking, is just
part of the series' troubling trend of adults
being negligent or even possibly abusive to
these kids.
Hagrid regularly writes out road maps for
the main trio to waltz into danger …
"I shouldn't have said that.
I should not have said that."
The faculty is filled with crazy people … And
even the parents are pretty lousy.
How else could you explain Hermione's folks,
who were muggles, allowing their 11-year-old
to run through a wall and hop on a train they
never even saw?
Or how no one bothered to check on baby Harry
Potter for a decade after he was dropped off
at the doorstep of an aunt and uncle everyone
knew were terrible?
Good adulting, everybody.
The Ministry of What
There are tons of pseudo-political commentaries
contained in the Harry Potter series.
Gellert Grindelwald tries to enslave the muggle
population by way of a Global Wizarding War
that, not coincidentally, rages on alongside
the real-life events of World War II.
Voldemort and his Death Eaters fight for genetic
supremacy over half-bloods and muggles like
some of the worst villains in history.
But perhaps the most unsettling aspect of
the stories is that the Ministry of Magic
remains in place without any checks or balances
and seems to oppress certain classes of wizards.
They have a totalitarian approach to justice,
with boundary-free surveillance options at
their disposal and an army of soul-sucking
Dementors who inflict cruel punishment on
prisoners.
They're also in charge of all the money and
sometimes distribute assets unfairly between
various families.
It just goes to show that even at its best,
the wizarding world is never truly free.
Just ask the house elves.
Fat-shaming
It gets laughs out of a lot of readers, but
the way J.K.
Rowling writes about Dudley Dursley in the
earliest installments of the Harry Potter
series is kind of troubling.
Although she has plenty of faults to choose
from while writing about Harry's spoiled cousin,
she pays a lot of attention to the fact that
he's portly — or, as she writes it, "the
size of a young killer whale."
Descriptions of Dudley's "piggly little eyes"
and his resemblance to a "pig in a wig" read
as especially cruel and unnecessary in retrospect
— even if Rowling has insisted she's against
fat-shaming.
Sexual innuendos
The Harry Potter books may be meant for kids,
but certain parts belong in the restricted
section.
For example, there's the "engorgio" spell,
which seems like a poor choice of name on
Rowling's part and and is probably the only
explanation for how Hagrid's father made whoopie
with a giantess.
"I shouldn't have said that.
I should not have said that."
Then there's the fact that these are all teenage
students who have had no sex-ed coursework
at all.
Some have traced the timing of Nymphadora
Tonks' conception to her parents' teen years.
Rowling herself has said she didn't mean to
encourage teen pregnancy in the story, but
thanks to a dirty Easter egg in the Marauder's
Map from the Prisoner of Azkaban movie, we
know Hogwarts could get pretty steamy with
or without proper education about safe sex.
Wasted gifts
As creative and thorough as Rowling was when
creating the Potterverse, there are some aspects
of the stories there become pretty frustrating
in hindsight.
Snape has the gift of legilimency, for example,
but doesn't bother using it to figure out
Barty Crouch Jr. is drinking polyjuice potion
to disguise himself as Mad-Eye Moody in The
Goblet of Fire.
Seems like that might've been important.
And Hermione's time-turner — a literal time-travel
device — could've been used for far more
important things than overloading her school
schedule and springing an animal from execution.
Harry could've probably used that luck potion
he gets in Half-Blood Prince to help him defeat
Voldemort.
And Minerva McGonagall's shape-shifting skills
should've given her an upper hand in undermining
Dolores Umbridge, who just so happens to be
a sucker for cats.
"And the consequences may be severe."
Instead, all of these elements just come and
go as trivial moments of convenience, despite
the fact that there's an all-out war in motion.
And let's not forget how casually Dumbledore
gifts Harry one of the three sacred Deathly
Hallows — the Cloak of Invisibility — long
before he could come anywhere near appreciating
its true value.
"Whoa!"
"My body's gone!"
Perverted poltergeist
Harry Potter fans might be inclined to feel
sorry for Moaning Myrtle, since she's obviously
a sensitive person who didn't deserve to die
by the eye of the basilisk at such a young
age.
But that doesn't excuse her posthumous perversions.
In The Goblet of Fire, she has a habit of
sneaking in on boys in the bathtub and spying
on them without their permission.
"Hello Harry.
Long time no see.
Oh..."
Stoner house
House Hufflepuff boasted some of the nicest
and most serene students of the Hogwarts bunch,
and there may have been a reason for their
relaxed attitudes.
Not only does the name of their house sound
kind of like it endorses huffing and puffing,
but Hufflepuffs tended to excel at Herbology,
loved to laugh, and lived right by the kitchens.
Coincidence?
Weasley weirdos
In The Prisoner of Azkaban, the Dark Lord's
sniveling sidekick Peter Pettigrew is eventually
spotted alive and well on the Marauder's Map
that Fred and George Weasley have been holding
onto.
That's how he's ultimately discovered to be
disguised as Ronald's "pet" rat.
But if he's always visible on the map, and
the Weasley twins have full access to it — and,
in theory, would check in on their younger
brother once in awhile — they have to know
he has unexpected company in his room each
night...and just ignore it.
You don't need magic powers to see that's
pretty messed up.
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