[ Bird Squawking ]
"FOR ‘ZE' CRIME OF INSURRECTION
 AGAINST THE REPUBLIC OF FRANCE,
"AND IN ACCORDANCE WITH
‘ZE' VERDICT OF ‘ZE' PEOPLE,
‘ZE' PRISONER
IS CONDEMNED TO DEATH."
BRING "ZE" FOREIGN
EXCHANGE PRISONER.
[ Squeaking ]
WARDEN, WE HAVE BROUGHT
THE FOREIGN EXCHANGE PRISONER
AS ORDERED.
THIS MAN,
PROFESSOR MORTIMER GANGREEN,
TOMATO MASTERMIND,
SCOURGE OF CIVILIZED SOCIETY,
IS TO BE FREED AT ONCE!
THERE MUST BE SOME MISTAKE,
WARDEN. HE IS "ZE" MOST
DANGEROUS MAN IN "ZE" WORLD.
SILENCE!
I HAVE MY ORDERS!
YOU DARE TO DISOBEY ME?
OH! HOLD STILL, GUYS!
OHH! OHH!
- HA!
 [ Laughing ]
YOU ARE NOT "ZE" WARDEN!
[ Tomato ]
HEY, NICE BATTING!
COME ON, BOYS!
[ Man ]
LET'S GO!
HEY! DON'T!
DON'T DO THAT!
- OW! OOH! OOH! AHH!
- CAN'T TAKE HIM ANYWHERE!
- [ Alarm Ringing ]
- [ Tomato Chuckling ]
PERFECT.
UP, UP AND AWAY!
WELL DONE, LADS!
 WELL DO
TO GO WITH A BALLOON ESCAPE,
SIR, BLUEBERRY PIZZA?
AH! WITH JALAPEÑOS. MMM.
LET HER RIP, ZOLTAN.
RIGHT.
BOMBS AWAY!
ALL RIGHT! AYE!
OH! OH! RUN!
RUN!
[ Beeps ]
CRUISE TOMATO!
[ Chuckling ]
IGOR, MY TOMATOES
ARE RIPE FOR REVOLUTION.
I HOLD IN MY HANDS
THE SECRET
TO WORLD DOMINATION.
- I'LL GIVE THEM A REIGN OF
  TERROR THEY'LL NEVER FORGET.
- [ Chuckling ]
'TIS A FAR, FAR MEANER THING
I DO THAN I HAVE EVER DONE.
IGOR, TO THE CASTLE!
YOU GOT IT, PROFESSOR.
 DÉJÀ VU! POTPOURRI!
 SOUP DU JOUR!
[ Maniacal Laughing ]
"EVERY FRENCH HOTEL IS EQUIPPED
 WITH A DRINKING FOUNTAIN
 IN THE 
OKAY. LET'S SEE,
TWO FRANCS.
AND... A HALF A TWINKIE.
THAT OUGHT TO LAST ME
ANOTHER WEEK.
WHAT AM I WORRIED ABOUT?
I'M 22 YEARS OLD.
I'M BACKPACKING
THROUGH FRANCE.
LIFE IS WONDERFUL.
AH, WHO AM I KIDDING?
MICHAEL J. FOX IS A MAJOR
MOTION PICTURE STAR,
AND I'M MAKING
A KILLER TOMATOES MOVIE...
PART FOUR!
[ Sighs ]
WHAT AM I WORRIED ABOUT?
I'M MAKING A MOVIE.
I'M FILMING IN FRANCE.
I GOT A PIECE
OF THE MERCHANDISING.
IT BEATS DINNER THEATER.
HEY!
LIFE IS WONDERFUL!
- [ All Laughing ]
- THAT WAS WONDERFUL.
[ Laughing Continues ]
 [ Moaning ]
ARE YOU REAL?
OR AM I ON SOME KIND
OF TWINKIE HIGH?
 DEAR,
T GIVE A DAMN."
- WHO ARE YOU?
- I AM A BEAUTIFUL FRENCH
  COUNTRY GIRL. WHO ARE YOU?
ME?
I'M A... BIG AMERICAN
MOVIE STAR.
I LOVE AMERICAN MOVIES!
WHICH ONE ARE YOU?
MICHAEL J. FOX. HI.
OH, MICHAEL!
THIS HAS POSSIBILITIES.
[ Igor ]
WAIT TILL YOU SEE IT, PROFESSOR.
IT'S TOTALLY AWESOME.
I GOT PLANS. BIG PLANS.
WE'LL MAKE A MINT.
WHERE'S THIS CASTLE
YOU'VE BEEN BABBLING ABOUT?
YOU CALL THAT A CASTLE,
 YOU ARYAN IGNORAMUS?
NO, SIR, PROFESSOR GANGREEN.
THAT'S THE TOOLSHED.
THAT'S THE CASTLE.
IT'S A LITTLE RUN-DOWN.
BUT I'M GONNA HAVE IT
PAINTED... PASTELS.
SHOPS, SPECIALTY STORES, BARS.
AND IN THAT TOWER,
A REVOLVING RESTAURANT.
AND IN THIS MOAT,
IGOR'S ALLIGATOR FARM.
[ Barks ]
AND SOMEDAY...
TIME-SHARE CONDOMINIUMS!
HOW DO YOU LIKE IT, PROFESSOR?
SOME HIDEOUT, HUH?
THIS IS INCREDIBLE.
THANKS.
HOW CAN WE AFFORD ALL THIS
ON MY MENTAL DISABILITY CHECK?
[ Chuckles ]
[ Igor's Voice On P.A. ]
WELCOME TO IGOR'S
REALLY BIG CASTLE MUSEUM.
INSIDE YOU WILL FIND--
THIS IS THE BEST PART,
PROFESSOR.
- EXHIBITS FROM ANCIENT TIMES.
- [ Whistle Blows ]
COME ALONG, FOLKS.
 COME ALONG.
WOW!
NOW, FOLKS, YOU'VE PAID AN AWFUL
LOT OF MONEY TO BE HERE...
ON THE SUPER DELUXE
GRAND TOUR.
TEN DOWN,
ONLY 332 ROOMS TO GO.
IS ONE OF THOSE
A BATHROOM?
- COME ALONG, FOLKS.
- [ Whistle Blows ]
[ Igor's Voice On P.A. ]
HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR STAY
AT IGOR'S REALLY BIG CASTLE.
IGOR'S REALLY BIG CASTLE TOUR.
IT'S A GOLD MINE.
IDIOT! THIS IS SUPPOSED
TO BE A HIDEOUT!
A SECRET HIDEOUT.
I'LL BE THE LAUGHINGSTOCK
OF MADMEN EVERYWHERE.
NO PROBLEM. FOLLOW ME.
[ Igor's Voice On P.A. ]
AFTER VISITING OUR MUSEUM,
E...
FEATURING DAILY SPECIALS
ON MANY ITEMS.
YOU WILL FIND IGOR'S
REALLY BIG CASTLE MUSEUM--
HO, HO! I AM THE KING.
FULL OF STATE-OF-THE-ART AUDIO
ANIMATRONIC TECHNOLOGY--
HO, HO, HO.
I AM THE KING.
- JOAN OF ARK.
- HO, HO, HO.
- [ Screaming ]
- HOPE Y
  AT IGO
STAY
G CASTLE,
- [ Baaing, Mooing ]
- A VERITABLE TREASURE TROVE
  OF REALLY NEAT STUFF.
BEFORE LEAVING, PLEASE
ASK ABOUT OUR NEW TIME-SHARE
CONDOMINIUM PROGRAM. THANK YOU.
[ Robot's Voice ]
HO, HO, HO.
I AM THE KING.
IT'S ALL HERE, PROFESSOR.
EVERYTHING YOU ASKED FOR.
IT'S PERFECT.
WONDERFUL.
OH, YOU EVEN DECORATED.
NICE TOUCH.
IGOR.
I PICKED UP THIS LITTLE TOME
AT THE PRISON LIBRARY. BEHOLD.
[ Coughs ]
 THE PROPHECY OF NICODEMUS.
[ Animal Squeaking ]
[ Professor ]
"WHEN THE STREETS OF PARIS
 SHALL RUN BRIGHT RED.
 LIFE...
.
"BE AZURE SKIES TURNED
 BLACK AS NIGHT UNFURLED.
"WHERE A WEEPING VIRGIN STANDS
 WATCH O'ER THE UNDERWORLD.
"WHEN THESE FOUR THINGS
 STRANGE OCCUR AS ONE,
"THE TRUE KING OF FRANCE
 SHALL RETURN WITH THE SUN.
"RESTORE THEN TO FRANCE
 HER FORMER GLORY.
AND THIS, KIND SIRS,
IS THE END OF OUR STORY."
♪♪ [ Fanfare ]
[ Professor ] HEY! HEY!
CUT IT OUT! STOP IT!
♪♪ [ Ends ]
THE MOVIE'S JUST BEGINNING.
F FRANCE RETURNS."
WHAT'S THAT
GOT TO DO WITH US?
HMM. BEHOLD.
THE FUTURE KING OF FRANCE.
[ Igor ]
IT'S-- IT'S ME!
YES, IT'S YOU!
[ Laughing ]
JUST THINK OF IT.
IT'S INCREDIBLE.
IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
IT'S FRIGHTENING,
BUT TRUE. TRUE!
WITH YOU ON
THE THRONE OF FRANCE,
I'LL HAVE THE MEANS
TO UNLEASH MY KILLER TOMATOES
ON MANKIND!
[ Maniacal Laughing ]
 [ Vehicle Approaching ]
 [ Chattering ]
 HIT THE BRAKES!
- HIT THE BRAKES!
- [ Screaming ]
[ Mumbling ]
 [ Groaning ]
OW! OHH! OW!
I HAD THE DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER.
LUNCH. EXCELLENT.
HEY, WHO GOT
INTO MY 
YOU STILL OWE ME 3.77,
SHOELACE FACE.
HEY, I PAID--
WATCH THAT.
- MMM. NEEDS KETCHUP.
- [ All ] HEY!
[ Chuckling ]
NOTHING PERSONAL.
BUT, PROFESSOR,
THIS STUFF'S PRETTY FAR OUT.
RED STREETS,
RIVERS THAT DON'T FLOW,
BLACK SKY, UNDERWORLD.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
ALL THIS'LL COME TRUE?
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
LEAVE THAT TO US.
[ Maniacal Laughing ]
[ All Laughing ]
[ Bell Tingles ]
[ Man ]
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!
THAT'S A TOMATO!
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
 OUI.
WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS
A FAILUR
COMMUNICATE.
YEAH, I'LL SAY. YOU DON'T
JUST WAVE TO A TOMATO.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
IN FRANCE,
WE DO NOT DISCRIMINATE
AGAINST HARMLESS VEGETABLES.
TOMATOES ARE WELCOME HERE.
DON'T GET THE WRONG IDEA, OKAY?
SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS
ARE TOMATOES.
IT'S JUST THAT
KILLER TOMATOES
ARE DANGEROUS. PERIOD.
IN FRANCE,
WE CALL TOMATOES "LOVE APPLES."
AND LOVE IS SOMETHING
WE FRENCH KNOW, YES?
NO-- UH, YES. SURE.
LOUIE,
THIS COULD BE THE BEGINNING
OF A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP.
MICHAEL.
PARDON?
THAT'S MY NAME-- MICHAEL.
YOU JUST CALLED ME LOUIE.
- YES, I KNOW.
  ONLY THE FARMERS WIN.
- [ Baaing ]
YEAH. SURE.
YOUR ENGLISH IS UNUSUAL.
MERCI.
I LEARN BY WATCHING
AMERICAN MOVIES.
ROMANTIC ONES LIKE
CASABLANCA, COOL HAND LUKE,
THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN.
HAVE YOU SEEN CHINATOWN?
IT'S MY FAVORITE.
CHINATOWN? "MY SISTER!
MY DAUGHTER! MY SISTER!
MY DAUGHTER!
MAD! MY SISTER
AND MY DAUGHTER!" OUI?
YEAH. I GUESS
YOU'VE SEEN IT.
BUT I HAVE A QUESTION.
WHY DO AMERICANS ALWAYS WAIT
UNTIL THE MIDDLE OF THE MOVIE
TO FALL MADLY IN LOVE?
WHY NOT AT FIRST SIGHT?
STUPID AMERICANS?
[ Zipper Unzipping ]
[ People Moaning, Giggling ]
♪ WHEN I LOOK IN YOUR EYES ♪
♪ I FEEL EXCITEMENT
  AND A TREMBLING IN MY THIGHS ♪
♪ AND WHAT I LONG TO DO
  IS MOAN AND SIGH ♪
♪ OH, "ZAT'S" AMOUR, DUDE ♪
♪ OH, "ZAT'S" AMOUR, DUDE ♪
  FINALLY GOING TO FIND ♪
♪ WORDS AND LOVES
  "ZAT'S" LEFT YOU FAR BEHIND ♪
♪ SOMEONE WHO IS GENTLE,
  KIND AND TRUE ♪
♪ FOR YOU ♪
[ Man Speaking French ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Sheep Bleating ]
R, DUDE ♪
♪ OH, "ZAT'S" AMOUR, DUDE ♪
♪ OH, "ZAT'S" AMOUR ♪♪
[ Electricity Humming ]
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WITH THAT THING, BOSS?
IT AIN'T NO KILLER TOMATO.
IT AIN'T GOT NO TEETH!
[ Laughing ]
- [ All Laughing ]
- JUST WATCH, BOYS.
JUST WATCH.
AH! OH, NEEDLES!
[ Groaning ]
STAND BACK!
[ Maniacal Laugh ]
I HAVE CREATED--
[ All Screaming ]
YOU CREATED A MESS!
THAT'S WHAT YOU CREATED!
SHUT UP!
THE MUTANT GENE.
[ Tomato ] I'LL 
ONE INGREDIENT THAT KEEPS ME
FROM TOTAL SUCCESS.
I CREATED IT ONCE
QUITE BY ACCIDENT
WHEN I MADE THAT-- AH--
WHEN I MADE THAT--
AH-CHOO!
YEAH. WHEN YOU MADE
FUZZY TOMATO.
THAT LOUSY LITTLE FURBALL
AIN'T GONNA STOP US THIS TIME!
RIGHT, BOSS?
ZOLTAN, YOU MUST FIND FT.
THAT DOUBLE-CROSSING
DO-GOODER HOLDS THE KEY
TO OUR SUCCESS!
FT! FT!
[ Zoltan ]
FT!
- I WILL DISGRACE YOU
  AND DESTROY YOU!
- YEAH!
AND CONQUER THE WORLD
IN THE BARGAIN.
[ Maniacal Laugh ]
SO... FLY, MY BEAUTIES.
FLY. FIND FUZZY TOMATO,
THE RUBY MUTANT!
WE DON'T FLY, BOSS!
 WE BOUNCE!
YEAH.
IT'S A FIGURE OF SPEECH, NIMROD.
GET OUT OF HERE!
- OHH! OHH!
- [ Laughing ]
[ Laughing Continues ]
[ Groaning ]
[ Lips Smacking ]
MY MOTHER IS NAMED MARIE ALSO.
MY FATHER IS FRANCOIS.
BUT EVERYONE CALLS HIM
FRENCHY.
[ Belches ]
SAY, I'D LIKE--
[ Thud ]
UH--
[ Breaks Wind ]
[ Thud ]
 ELECTRICITY.
 IT HAS CHANGED EVERYTHING.
OH, NO, NO, NO.
I-I COULDN'T. PLEASE.
I... COULD, I GUESS.
JUST A--
[ Thud ]
LITTLE BIT THERE.
 ESCARGOT.
 YOU LIKE?
- [ Grunting ]
- [ Whimpering ]
- ESCARGOT DU SUSHI.
  NOUVELLE CUISINE.
- [ Growling ]
 [ Knocking ]
[ Both Speaking French ]
- BONSOIR.
- IT IS NOT
  THE ESCAPED PRISONER!
IT IS FRENCHY!
[ Thud ]
MARIE,
YOUR BEAU IS HERE.
BEAU? MARIE, I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU HAVE A BEAU-FR--
A BOYFRIEND.
[ Sighs, Giggles ]
OH, MARIE.
[ Speaking French ]
THAT IS MY SISTER,
ALSO NAMED MARIE.
NOW YOU KNOW THE TRUTH.
I AM SO ASHAMED.
DON'T BE SILLY.
THERE'S NO NEED TO BE ASHAMED.
JUST BECAUSE YOUR SISTER--
IS BEAUTIFUL! GO ON!
RUN TO HER! THEY ALL DO.
 I LIED WHEN I TOLD YOU
  I WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I HOPED YOU WERE BLINDED
BY THE SAND IN YOUR EYES.
WHO AM I KIDDING?
I AM A BEAST!
WHY I CAN'T LOOK LIKE
A REAL FRENCH WOMAN?
 - [ Marie #2 ]
   OH, FRENCHY!
 - [ Kissing ]
[ Sobbing ]
DAMN! I HATE THESE
OPEN BEAM CEILINGS.
I EAT ALL THE TIME,
BUT I NEVER GAIN WEIGHT.
I AM DOOMED FOREVER
TO HAVE A TINY WAIST
AND A PETITE DERRIERE.
I AM THE MOST UNLUCKIEST PERSON
IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
[ Screaming ]
 [ Water Splashing ]
YEAH. BUT THERE'S MORE TO LIFE
THAN MERE PHYSICAL BEAUTY.
MICHAEL, YOU ARE SO KIND,
SO THOUGHTFUL.
 [ Man Grunting ]
ARE ALL AMERICAN MEN
AS SENSITIVE AS YOU?
WELL--
 [ Man Screaming ]
 [ Water Splashing ]
YES.
PLEASE, TAKE ME WITH YOU.
TO PARIS?
YOU AND ME?
 [ Man ] HELP!
OUI. I WILL SHOW YOU
THE SIGHTS. PLEASE.
 HELP!
WE WILL DRINK WINE,
TALK AND HOLD HANDS,
TALK, SHARE LAUGHTER
AND TALK.
I DON'T KNOW.
I'M NOT MUCH OF A TALKER.
AND THEN WE SHALL MAKE
WILD, PASSIONATE LOVE
UNDER "ZE" WINDMILLS.
WINDMILLS?
I LOVE MINIATURE GOLF.
[ Michael ] YEAH. IT'S THE BEST
THING SINCE ELECTRICITY.
WE CALL IT GASOLINE.
 NOT KNOW.
A RICH AMERICAN LIKE YOU MUST
THINK US VERY QUAINT. WHAT IS IT
LIKE BEING A BIG MOVIE STAR?
OH, IT'S NOT EASY.
YOU HAVE TO SIFT THROUGH
SCRIPT AFTER SCRIPT...
UNTIL YOU FIND
JUST THE RIGHT ONE.
- HYAH!
- MICHAEL! LOOK AT THAT
  BIG, BLACK THING!
WE MUST BE GETTING NEAR PARIS!
HYAH! HYAH!
THAT IS, OF COURSE,
A BIG SQUARE
AND ROUND THING...
BUILT BY SOMEONE
TO REMEMBER SOMETHING
SOMETIME.
[ Marie ]
AH, THE FAMOUS
LEFT BANK OF PARIS.
 BIG, TALL BUILDING
NICKKNACKS
D.
[ Marie ]
THIS IS NAPOLEON'S TOMB.
OH, NOW WAIT JUST A DOGGONE
MINUTE HERE. THIS IS THE SPHINX,
AND IT'S IN EGYPT.
YOU'VE NEVER EVEN BEEN TO PARIS,
HAVE YOU? WHAT'S THIS?
OLD FAITHFUL?
[ Marie ]
NO. THIS IS THE WATERS OF LIFE.
I AM SORRY.
YOU MUST THINK I AM A STUPID,
SKINNY PEASANT GIRL.
NO! NO! NO! HECK NO.
A GUY COULD--
UM, A GUY COULD--
YES?
SAY, WHAT IS THIS PLACE?
IT IS A FAMOUS
PARIS ATTRACTION.
IT IS A RECREATION OF
AN AUTHENTIC AMERICAN
SHOPPING CENTER.
OH, GREAT. THAT'S JUST WHAT
I CAME TO FRANCE TO SEE,
ANOTHER FACELESS MALL.
NO. NOT ANOTHER
FACELESS MALL.
BUT A GENUINE REPLICA
OF SAN DIEGO'S
MAGNIFICENT HORTON PLAZA.
ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY-ONE
SPECIALTY STORES
AND RESTAURANTS...
FOR YOUR SHOPPING CONVENIENCE.
[ Man ]
HEAR YE! HEAR YE!
MICHAEL, LOOK!
MICHAEL, LOOK.
THE STONE IN THE SHOE.
THE STONE IN THE SHOE?
SHH.
 HEAR YE! HEAR YE!
 MESDAMES ET MONSIEURS.
,
SHE WHO TAKES FIVE PACES
IN THE MAGIC SHOE...
IS THE TRUE QUEEN OF FRANCE.
[ Crowding Oohing ]
SHE'S EVEN THINNER THAN ME.
WHAT A DOG!
REGULAR QUASIMODO.
[ Crowd ]
UN...
[ Shutters Clicking ]
- DEUX...
- OW!
TROIS...
 SHE'S GOING TO MAKE IT!
- GO, MARIE! GO!
- [ Groaning ]
OW! OW! OW!
[ Grunting ]
- BOO!
- [ Moaning ]
TAKE A HIKE, BIMBO!
OW! OHH! OOH!
WHAT'S THE DEAL?
IT'S THE CURSE OF MY COUNTRY.
OUR REVOLUTION WAS
A BIG MISTAKE.
[ Crying ]
NOW WE HAVE NO KING,
NO ROYALTY,
NO CHARLES, NO DI, NO FERGIE,
 NO STEPHANIE, NO KENNEDYS.
OW!
BUT SOMEDAY,
SOMEDAY THAT WILL CHANGE.
FRANCE WILL ONCE AGAIN
BE FAMOUS!
WE WILL HAVE OUR OWN
TRASHY TABLOIDS,
[ Groaning ]
OUR OWN SORDID SCANDALS.
 - VIVE LA FRANCE!
 LOOK!
"TONIGHT ONLÉ! THE FT
 UP WITH TOMATOES CONCERT.
A BENEFIT FOR
THE HUMAN/VEGETABLES
BROTHERHOOD FOUNDATION."
WOW.
 LE TOMATO FUZZY,
 MY FAVORITE ROCK STAR.
HE'S BIGGER
THAN JERRY LEWIS.
OLD FT's DONE
PRETTY GOOD FOR HIMSELF.
I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM IN AGES.
YOU KNOW LE TOMATO FUZZY?
OH, YEAH, SURE. FT AND I,
WE W
PLEASE, MICHAEL, TAKE ME
TO THE LOUVRE TONIGHT. I'D LOVE
TO SEE THE CONCERT AND MEET FT.
FOR YOU, BABY, ANYTHING.
GREAT!
I NEED A NEW DRESS!
[ Maniacal Laugh ]
LET'S SEE. THIS IS 43.
THIS
[ Feedback ]
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE LOUVRE
IS PROUD TO PRESENT...
ROCK AND ROLL'S
MOST SENSITIVE SUPERSTAR,
THAT LOVABLE LIBERAL,
FUZZY TOMATO!
♪♪ [ Soft Ballad ]
♪ UP WITH TOMATOES
  AND UP WITH PEOPLE TOO ♪
♪ YOU KNOW AND I KNOW ♪
♪ IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO ♪
♪ WE SHOULD LEARN FROM CHILDREN
  THE PROPER WAY TO PLAY ♪
♪ THEN TOGETHER ♪
♪ WE CAN HAVE
  A REALLY NICE DAY ♪
♪ NO HATE, NO WAR ♪
[ Sniffling ]
♪ NO ETHNIC STRIFE ♪
♪ IN THE AGE OF AQUARIUS ♪
♪ IT'S A GARDEN OF LIFE ♪
[ Sniffling ]
♪ COME ON MEN AND WO-PERSONS ♪
♪ JOIN THIS UPLIFTING BALLAD ♪
♪ BECAUSE WE'RE
  ALL IMPORTANT PARTS ♪
[ Bones Cracking ]
♪ OF LIFE'S TASTY SALAD ♪
♪ WE ARE THE WORLD ♪
♪ WE ARE THE SEEDLINGS ♪
♪ OUR HOPE AND OUR FAITH
  HAVE NO CEILINGS ♪
♪ BLACK AND WHITE
  RED AND GREEN ♪
♪ TOGETHER AS ONE ♪
♪ WE GET LOVE FROM THE EARTH ♪
♪ AND STRENGTH FROM THE SUN ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪♪
[ Applause, Cheering ]
BRAVO!
C'EST MAGNIFIQUE!
FT IS AN INSPIRATION TO MEN
AND WO-PERSONS EVERYWHERE.
FT WILL RETURN AFTER
A SHORT INTERMISSION.
[ Electricity Crackles ]
[ Screams ]
[ Woman ]
FT IS SO P.C.
[ Man ]
YOU'RE KNOCKING 'EM DEAD.
YOU'RE MUTILATING 'EM.
YOU GOT A PRESS PASS
TO HAVE THAT THING IN HERE?
ONE OF THESE?
A ROCKUMENTARY? OH, WELL--
YOU'RE DECIMATING THEM.
 YOU'RE DROWNING THEM.
YOU'RE BOILING THEM IN OIL.
AM I RIGHT, BABE?
YOU'RE CHOPPING THEM UP
INTO TEENY-WEENIE,
TINY LITTLE PIECES...
SO THAT THEIR GUTS
ARE HANGING OUTSIDE.
[ Chuckling ]
GET THAT FOR ME,
WOULD YOU, MARIE?
[ FT ] OH, LUNCH?
[ Man ]
FT, MADONNA IS ON THE TELEPHONE.
[ FT ] MADONNA WHO?
[ FT ] WHO IS IT?
[ Gasps ] SACRE BLEU!
IT IS SANTA CLAUS!
HA, HA, HA!
HO, HO, HO.
RIGHT. HO, HO, HO.
SANTA, BABY.
WE'RE A LITTLE BUSY.
THE TOYS FOR TOTS GIG
ISN'T FOR ANOTHER SIX MONTHS,
RIGHT, KIDDO?
WELL, IN THAT CASE,
WE'LL JUST LEAVE THESE
LITTLE BAUBLES RIGHT HERE!
[ Screaming ]
[ Maniacal Laugh ]
WHOA!
HELP! H-HELP!
[ Screaming ]
[ Screaming ]
YOU'LL NEVER WORK
IN SHOW BUSINESS AGAIN!
YOU'RE GONNA FIND YOURSELF
IN A CAESAR SALAD!
[ Maniacal Laugh ]
GET YOUR FT SOUVENIRS!
FRENCH FRIES!
GET YOUR
APPLE PIE A LA MODE!
GET IT WHILE IT'S HOT!
LET'S HEAR IT AGAIN FOR FT!
YEAH!
YEAH!
♪ VIOLETS ARE BLUE
  AND TOMATOES ARE RED ♪
♪ WE'LL STOMP ON YOUR FEET ♪
♪ AND KNOCK OFF YOUR HEAD ♪
♪ MY NAME'S FT
  AND I'M RED AND I'M RAD ♪
♪ OF THE FUNKY FRENCH CULTURE
  I'M SICK AND I'M MAD ♪
 ♪ ENOUGH OF THESE GIGS
   NOW LISTEN, YOU FROGS ♪
♪ YOUR RIGHT'S FOR THE PIGS
  AND YOUR FOOD'S FOR THE DOGS ♪
♪ DEATH AND DESTRUCTION ♪
♪ DOWN WITH THE MAN ♪
♪ AU REVOIR, RENOIR
  THIS VINCENT CAN GOGH ♪
♪ SAY GOOD-BYE, ADIEU
  MICHELANGELO ♪
[ Growls ]
WHOO! HA, HA!
SOMETHING
RONG HERE.
- [ Laughing ]
- [ Screaming ]
♪♪ [ Continues ]
MICHAEL, WHAT'S HAPPENING?
I KNOW FT!
I'VE PARTIED WITH FT!
 TELL YOU,
[ Michae
THAT'S N
- COME ON, MARIE!
  LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!
- MICHAEL! MICHAEL!
GET THE TOMATO LOVER!
KILL THE TOMATO LOVER!
[ Screams ]
HE'S A LOVER OF TOMATOES!
KILL HIM!
KICK HIM IN THE HEAD!
DO ANYTHING!
JUST GET THE TOMATO LOVER!
YOU HAVE TO KILL HIM!
GET HIM! GET THEM!
OH, MY GOD!
[ Igor Chuckling ]
HOW YOU FEELIN',
LITTLE FURBALL?
[ Chuckling ]
SO, MY FUZZY FRIEND,
WE MEET AGAIN.
[ Mumbling ]
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MEMORY,
IT'S A PLEASURE TO SEE YOU.
[ Laughing ]
AH-CHOO!
OH, GEEZ, YOU SON OF A--
EXCUSE ME.
IS THIS THE CASTLE GIFT SHOP?
- THIRD DOOR DOWN THE HALL.
  SPECIAL ON SLIDES TODAY.
- GET OUT OF HERE!
 - MOVE IT!
 - [ FT ] HELP ME, GRANDMA!
   COME HERE! WAIT A MINUTE!
COME
[ Laughing ]
IGOR, THROW THE--
AH-- AH--
THROW THE--
THROW THE--
THROW THE--
BASEBALL? FOOTBALL?
DISCUS?
UH, LAWN MOWER?
START THE LAWN MOWER?
[ Sneezes ]
BLESS YOU!
THROW THE SWITCH,
YOU CHOWDERHEAD!
I MUST BE ALLERGIC
TO THIS OVERRIPE FURBALL.
[ FT Groaning ]
[ Groaning Continues ]
[ Mumbling, Indistinct ]
YES! YES! YES!
 MERCI FOR YOUR
 GENEROUS DONATION.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA
HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME.
 IGOR, SHOW OUR GUEST
 TO THE PENTHOUSE.
 I MAY HAVE
 NEED OF HIM LATER.
WE DON'T HAVE A PENTHOUSE, SIR.
ALL WE HAVE IS THIS REALLY HIGH
TOWER WITH BARS ON THE WINDOWS.
WELL, GEE, I GUESS
THAT'LL HAVE TO DO.
MUST I BE SO LITERAL?
[ FT Muttering ]
"THE STREETS RUN RED,"
 SAITH THE PROPHECY.
THEY SHALL, INDEED,
BEFORE YOU CAN SAY,
"TOMATO SURPRISE."
[ Laughs ]
YES!
[ Crowd Shouting,
  Indistinct ]
[ Shouting In French ]
KILL THE TOMATO LOVERS!
NOW THAT WAS CLOSE.
I TOLD YOU TOMATOES
CAN BE DANGEROUS.
YOU SAID YOURSELF
THAT WAS NOT THE REAL FT!
YEAH. BUT THE WHOLE PLACE
WENT CRAZY.
IT WAS THE IMPOSTOR THAT
STARTED IT! WE MUST FIND FT
AND RESCUE HIM,
EXPLAINING WHAT REALLY
HAPPENED OR ELSE--
OR ELSE
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE ANOTHER
FRENCH REVOLUTION ON YOUR HANDS.
THE GARDEN VARIETY.
♪♪ [ Saxophone: Blues ]
ALL RIGHT. I'LL BITE.
WHERE ARE WE?
THE TOMATO QUARTER.
THE ROUGHEST, MOST DANGEROUS
PART OF PARIS.
IF FT WAS KIDNAPPED,
THEY WOULD MAYBE
BRING HIM HERE, YES?
DID YOU SAY DANGEROUS?
YOU KNOW, FT AND I AREN'T
EXACTLY WHAT I'D CALL CLOSE.
UH, ACTUALLY,
IT'S PRETTY CASUAL.
CERTAINLY A BRAVE,
HANDSOME AMERICAN LIKE YOU
IS NOT AFRAID.
AFRAID? MOI?
[ Scoffs ]
I AM NOT AFRAID.
GOOD. COME ON.
A LITTLE CAUTIOUS, MAYBE.
PRUDENT. CAREFUL.
THESE ARE GOOD WORDS.
PETRIFIED.
IT'S A GOOD ONE TOO.
[ Growling ]
WHOA!
THEY LOOK PRETTY VICIOUS.
OF COURSE, ON THE OTHER HAND,
THEY'RE NOW ROUSED TO
A STATE OF INTENSE ANGER WHICH
IS LIABLE TO EXPLODE ANY MINUTE.
MICHAEL, OVER THERE.
 OUI. OUI.
 [ Speaking French ]
THIS IS A VERY FAMOUS
FRENCH VEGETABLE CAFÉ.
- [ Gulping ]
- [ Slurping ]
 TWO MORE STRAWS?
MAYBE SHE KNOWS SOMETHING, YES?
I'LL BE WITH YOU
IN A MINUTE.
HEY, YOU FRUIT!
GET OUT OF HERE!
 THIS IS NOT THAT KIND
 OF A BAR! ALLEZ! ALLEZ!
[ Woman Speaking French ]
OH, MAMA.
GET THIS.
 BONJOUR, MADAME.
 ET BONJOUR, MONSIEUR.
WELCOME TO THE FRENCH... KISS.
WHAT WILL IT BE,
"ZE", UH, HOUSE SPECIALTY?
UH... PERHAPS YOU HEARD ABOUT
THE RIOT TONIGHT AT THE LOUVRE?
OUI? WHAT OF IT?
 [ Marie ] THE TOMATO FUZZY
 WAS KIDNAPPED!
- NO! THEN THAT EXPLAINS IT!
- EXPLAINS WHAT?
- OVER THERE. LOOK SLOWLY.
- [ Drunken Chattering ]
 - [ Laughing ]
 - THE FAT ONE,
   HE HAS THE HOTS FOR ME.
HE CALLS HIMSELF ZOLTAN.
HEY, BABY,
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
- [ Laughing ]
- HE IS DISGUSTING!
  [ Speaking French ]
THEY ALL ARE!
HE GAVE ME
A CHRISTMAS PRESENT. HA!
A FUR COAT!
[ Gasps ]
HMM. A CHEAP GIFT.
KIND OF SMALL.
LOOK! A ZIPPER!
IT'S THE FT DISGUISE!
WHAT FUR COAT
HAS A ZIPPER? EH?
- [ Speaking French ]
  PIG!
- THAT'S MR. PIG TO YOU.
THEY INVITED ME TO THEIR PAD.
[ Chuckles ]
"IGOR'S REALLY
 BIG CASTLE TOUR.
 REAL CHEAP."
THAT REALLY BIG CASTLE
LOOKS A LITTLE FAMILIAR.
YEAH. IT LOOKS A LOT LIKE
THE ONE THAT'S UP THE STREET
FROM YOUR HOUSE.
OF COURSE!
THAT'S WHERE I'VE SEEN IT!
I WILL CALL A CAB!
- [ Moaning ]
- TAXI! TAXI!
TAKE ME WITH YOU.
[ Speaking French ]
I AM MAD FOR YOU!
I WILL SHOW YOU
THE SIGHTS OF PARIS.
WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT.
I'M NOT GONNA FALL
FOR THAT LINE AGAIN.
BESIDES, I'VE GOT
A GIRLFRIEND, MARIE.
[ Gasps ]
HOW DID YOU KNOW MY NAME?
DON'T YOU KNOW THE ONLY THING
BETTER THAN ONE FRENCH GIRL
IS TWO FRENCH GIRLS.
MÉNAGE À TROIS.
OH, MÉNAGE À TROIS.
I THOUGHT THAT WAS
WHEN YOU USE BOTH HANDS.
[ Zoltan ]
MAN, I'M ONE STEWED TOMATO.
AW, DON'T BE.
[ Laughing ]
[ Bell Clanging ]
[ Speaking Japanese ]
[ Speaking Japanese ]
MICHAEL,
THIS WAS A GREAT IDEA.
SGUISES ARE MUCH BETTER
JUST TRY NOT TO ATTRACT
ANY ATTENTION, OKAY?
[ Shutters Clicking ]
[ All Oohing, Aahing ]
LE.
[ All ]
OHH!
OVER HERE.
YOU SEE THAT? I THINK
THAT'S THE MAIN ENTRANCE.
OOH.
COME ON.
 [ Glasses Hitting Floor ]
NOW THINK.
WHERE WOULD THEY HIDE FT?
I DO NOT KNOW.
IN "ZE" GARAGE?
NO. THIS IS A CASTLE.
IT DOESN'T HAVE A GARAGE.
"ZE" REC ROOM?
NO.
"ZE" FAMILY ROOM?
"ZE" KITCHENETTE?
"ZE" DUNGEON?
"ZE" DUNGEON! OF COURSE.
[ Whistle Blows ]
[ Woman ]
NOW COME ON, EVERYBODY!
NOW, MRS. BRUBAKER,
BANISTER.
WE'VE GOT A SCHEDULE
TO MAINTAIN.
ONLY 246 MORE ROOMS
TO GO, OKAY?
- POOR SOULS.
- THANK YOU, SIR.
[ Michael ]
THERE'S 
DO FOR '
N
LET'S FIND THAT DUNGEON.
PSST! FT?
FT, ARE YOU
DOWN HERE?
WHAT IS THIS PLACE?
- MAYBE A WEIGHT LOSS CLINIC?
- MICHAEL, LOOK!
[ Coughs ]
"PROPERTY OF PRISON LIBRARY.
 SEVERE FINE FOR REMOVAL!"
THAT LOOKS LIKE
THE ROYAL SEAL.
CROWN BOOKS.
THIS IS THE REAL McCOY,
ALL RIGHT.
[ Michael ]
"THE PROPHECY OF NICODEMUS"?
"WHEN THE STREETS OF PARIS
 SHALL RUN BRIGHT RED.
"THEN FLOW NOT
 THE WATERS OF LIFE...
 "BE THEE COLD AND DEAD.
"BE AZURE SKIES TURNED
 BLACK AS NIGHT UNFURLED.
"WHERE A WEEPING VIRGIN STANDS
 WATCH O'ER THE UNDERWORLD.
"WHEN THESE FOUR THINGS
 OCCUR AS ONE,
"THE TRUE KING OF FRANCE
 SHALL RETURN WITH THE SUN.
"RESTORE THEN TO FRANCE
 HER FORMER GLORY.
AND THIS, KIND SIRS,
IS THE END OF OUR STORY."
♪♪ [ Fanfare ]
[ Michael ]
HEY, WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS?
WILL YOU STOP THAT?
♪♪ [ Ends ]
MICHAEL, IF THIS PROPHECY
COMES TRUE, FRANCE IS SAVED.
WE WILL HAVE A KING AGAIN.
MARIE, I WOULDN'T GET
YOUR HOPES UP TOO HIGH.
A LOT OF WEIRD STUFF
HAS TO HAPPEN FIRST.
BESIDES, WE CAME HERE
TO FIND FT.
WE DON'T HAVE TIME
FOR FAIRY TALES.
WHERE IS THAT
LITTLE FUZZY TOMATO?
AH, "ZE" KING.
HE IS SO STRONG,
SO HANDSOME.
[ Sighs ]
BUT YOU ARE RIGHT.
FAIRY TALES ARE FOR CHILDREN.
HEY, LET'S SPLIT UP.
YOU'LL TAKE THE EAST WING.
I'LL TAKE THE WEST WING.
WE'LL COVER MORE GROUND.
OKAY? LET'S GO.
THAT LOOKS JUST
LIKE THE GUY--
NAH.
FT? FT?
I'VE LOOKED EVERYWHERE.
[ Echoing ]
FT!
SHH!
 [ Crash ]
"VISIT THE TOWER
 OF 900 STEPS."
900 STEPS?
[ Growls ]
[ Tomatoes ]
♪ PASS IT AROUND ♪
♪ 33 BOTTLES OF BEER
  ON THE WALL ♪
♪ 33 BOTTLES OF BEER
  ON THE WALL ♪
♪ 33 BOTTLES OF BEER ♪
♪♪ [ Continues, Faintly ]
[ Gasps ]
"ZE" KING OF FRANCE?
 IS IT REALLY YOU?
YEAH. I'M ME, ALL RIGHT.
OH, LORD.
THIS IS A GREAT DAY
FOR FRANCE. WAIT UNTIL
MICHAEL SEES YOU.
 EIGHT HUNDRED NINETY-EIGHT,
 899, 900.
[ Marie On P.A. ]
ATTENTION. ATTENTION.
WILL MICHAEL J. FOX
PLEASE REPORT TO THE DUNGEON?
WILL MICHAEL J. FOX PLEASE
REPORT TO THE DUNGEON
ON THE DOUBLE? THANK YOU.
EIGHT HUNDRED
AND NINETY-NINE,
898, 897--
HEY, NOW, A SIX OF HEARTS.
SIX OF HEARTS. OH.
THIS BETTER BE IMPORTANT.
MICHAEL, LOOK.
I KNOW YOU.
THAT BALLOON.
YOU'RE THE GUY.
 YOU'RE THE--
KING OF FRANCE!
THE MONARCHY IS SAVED.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
THIS GUY IS--
QUITE ACCURATE WITH
A SANDBAG IF I RECALL.
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, BOYS?
- [ Laughing ]
  RIGHT, BOSS.
- HANGOVER.
 [ Zoltan Groaning ]
YOU KIDNAPPED FT.
YOU ARE BEHIND ALL THIS.
QUITE RIGHT. AND NOW,
WITHOUT FURTHER ADIEU,
IT'S TIME TO SAY AU REVOIR.
- MARIE, YOU'VE DONE WELL.
- MARIE?
- IGOR!
- HOW COULD YOU?
MICHAEL,
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!
[ Screaming ]
[ Tomato ]
DON'T LOOK.
[ Both Chuckling ]
THANK YOU, MY DEAR.
YOUR ASSISTANCE HAS BEEN
GREATLY APPRECIATED.
SHOW THE LADY TO
THE PENTHOUSE, IGOR.
THAT'S KING IGOR.
NOT YET,
YOU BLUNDERING BLOCKHEAD!
MOVE YOUR RO
MICHAEL!
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
TO HIM, YOU MONSTER?
[ Laughing ]
LET'S JUST SAY HE CHECKED OUT
ON PAGE 43. READ YOUR SCRIPT.
[ Tomato ]
HEY, I DIDN'T GET A SCRIPT.
"MICHAEL IS KILLED
 IN THE BASEMENT OF DEATH?"
- [ Screaming ]
- OHH!
[ Maniacal Laugh ]
YES. THE HORRIBLE
BASEMENT OF DEATH.
[ Screaming ]
THIS IS A BASEMENT.
[ Chuckles ]
I'M NOT IMPRESSED!
- [ Squeaks ]
- [ Screams ]
[ El
ckling ]
NO! HE WASHED THE COLORS
WITH THE WHITES!
GARAGE DOOR OPENER.
WAIT A MINUTE.
THIS IS A CASTLE.
IT DOESN'T HAVE A GARAGE!
I'M IMPRESSED!
 I'M IMPRESSED!
[ Barking ]
"MICHAEL IS KILLED
 IN THE BASEMENT OF DEATH"?
I DIE?
 ON PAGE 43?
 THIS SUCKS!
NO, CHUCK!
NOT THIS TIME!
FLY ME TO FRANCE COACH,
THEY PUT ME UP
IN A ONE STAR HOTEL.
 IT DOESN'T EVEN
 HAVE A DRINKING FOUNTAIN
 IN THE BATHROOM.
LIKE I NEED THIS?
CAN HE DO THAT?
 [ Michael ]
 I'LL BE IN MY TRAILER!
MARIE'S SO PRETTY,
SHE THINKS SHE CAN WRAP ME
AROUND HER LITTLE FINGER.
"MICHAEL, LOOK. I WILL
 SHOW YOU THE SIGHTS."
TYPICAL FEMALE.
OH, SURE. GO AHEAD.
DESTROY YOUR LIFE.
JUST REMEMBER.
THOSE RUBY LIPS AND EMERALD EYES
MASK A PUTRID SUPPURATING,
SELF-CENTERED CYNICISM,
A NAUSEATING, ROTTING,
INFECTIOUS MASS OF DECAYING
DECADENCE BURIED IN--
[ Screams ]
- [ Speaks French ]
- [ Mimics French ]
AND THEN THE TRAP DOOR
FLEW OPEN. AND MY BELOVED
MICHAEL FELL TO HIS DEATH--
[ Sighs ]
BELIEVING I HAD
BETRAYED OUR LOVE. OH.
I HAVE NOTHING LEFT
TO LIVE FOR. NOTHING.
HEY. CAN I GET YOU
AN AUTOGRAPH?
YOU ARE VERY KIND.
 THANK YOU.
 [ Giggles ]
BUT AN AUTOGRAPHED POSTER
CANNOT BRING BACK MY BELOVED.
 - BESIDES--
 - WELL, YOU NEVER KNOW.
YOU ARE DISGRACED
AS WELL.
WHAT?
ZOLTAN TRICKED THE PEOPLE
INTO THINKING YOU
DESTROYED THE LOUVRE.
ME?
THE GREATEST WORK OF
MICHELANGELO AND LEONARDO GONE!
FOREVER!
[ Mumbles ]
COWABUNGA?
NO. NOT THE NINJA TURTLES!
THE OTHER MICHELANGELO
AH, PHEW!
THE POINT IS, NEITHER OF US
HAS ANY FUTURE.
WE MIGHT AS WELL
ROT RIGHT HERE.
NO. REALLY? COME ON. NO.
ALL RIGHT, MEN,
LISTEN UP.
OPERATION TOMATO STORM BEGINS
AT ZERO-- 6:00 IN THE MORNING.
THE TARGET FOR TODAY,
FRANCE.
AAH!
 OUI, OUI!
[ Professor ]
THEN WE'LL ATTACK FROM
THE NORTH AND THE EAST.
FROM HONG KONG,
GUATEMALA, AUSTRALIA--
IGOR, WHERE'D YOU
GET THIS MAP?
IT'S OFFICIAL AMERICAN
HIGH SCHOOL ISSUE, SIR.
NEXT SLIDE.
WE'LL HIT 'EM HERE...
ON THE FAMOUS...
McENROE LINE.
[ Indistinct Grumbling ]
 FIRE!
- LET'S SEE YOUR BACKHAND!
- FIRE!
[ Zoltan ]
RUN, YOU COWARDS! RUN!
[ Laughing ]
[ Bells Tolling ]
"RED MENACE. TOMATOES
PARIS!"
GANGREEN AND THAT
BLONDE BENEDICT ARNOLD!
"JOIN THE ARMY.
 LEARN ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING,
 QUANTUM MECHANICS,
MOLECULAR BIOLOGY
AND DIE LIKE A MAN."
SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN.
[ Newspaper Hits Ground ]
 VIVE LA FRANCE!
 POUR LA BAS!
[ Announcer ]
WAR IN EUROPE! FOR
THE THIRD TIME IN THIS CENTURY,
THE SOUNDS OF BATTLE
REVERBERATE ACROSS
THE MUDDY FIELDS OF FRANCE...
AS KILLER TOMATOES
HURL THEMSELVES...
NTRENCHED
OM.
♪♪ [ Harmonica ]
♪♪ [ Accordion ]
 [ Michael's Voice ]
 DEAR MARIE,
 YOU SUBHUMAN SCUM.
I AM WRITING YOU
THIS LETTER
FROM THE FRONT.
YOUR BETRAYAL HAS
BROKEN MY HEART
AND SAPPED MY SPIRIT.
ACCORDINGLY,
I HAVE DECIDED TO DIE
LIKE A MAN.
FAR FROM THE ALLURES OF
PERFIDIOUS FEMALES.
BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS,
I WILL, NO DOUBT, BE DEAD,
EMBRACING THE SILENT
SLEEP OF THE LOVELORN.
MAY YOUR MISERABLE LIFE
BE FILLED WITH FAILURE.
 LOVE,
 MICHAEL.
[ Clucking ]
[ Wings Flapping ]
[ Reporter ]
BERNARD, I'M COMING TO YOU LIVE
FROM DIRECTLY UNDER MY BED...
HIGH ATOP THE EL RAJID
HERE IN PARIS.
KILLER TOMATOES HAVE
BEEN REPORTED ON--
IGOR!
HOW'S IT COMING?
GREAT, PROFESSOR! THREE MORE
TOUR GROUPS SIGNED UP!
THE WAR, YOU POINTY-HEADED
MUSH FOR BRAINS!
A-OK.
AM I GONNA BE KING SOON?
[ Reporter ]
THEY'RE EATING MY MICROPHONE!
YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
T ME.
AL.
[ Reporter Coughing, Groaning ]
[ Clucking ]
[ Slurping ]
[ Clucking ]
"DEAR MARIE,
 YOU SUBHUMAN SCUM."
IT'S FROM MICHAEL.
HE'S ALIVE!
HE'S ALIVE!
COOL.
[ Burps ]
OH, NO. HE'S GOING
O KILL HIMSELF.
TH!
[ Panting ]
[ Marie ]
FT, HOW CAN WE ESCAPE?
BEATS ME!
 KONNICHIWA! BONJOUR!
 HELLO!
YOU MUST HELP US!
I AM MARIE, AND THIS IS FT.
AND WE'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED
BY A MAD PROFESSOR WHO CONTROLS
THE KILLER TOMATOES!
AND MY LOVE IS
GOING TO KILL HIMSELF
UNLESS I CAN FIND HIM,
BECAUSE HE THINKS
I BETRAYED HIM!
AND EVERYONE THINKS FT's
BEHIND THE REVOLUTION!
BUT HE REALLY IS A FRIEND OF
MEN AND WO-PERSONS EVERYWHERE!
AND UNLESS WE ESCAPE,
FRANCE WILL BE RULED
BY A HANDSOME IMBECILE...
AND A BUNCH OF LITTLE
RED ROUND THINGS!
[ Laughs ]
HELLO!
FT! YOU CAN
SLIP THROUGH THE BARS!
UH-UH!
IT'S A LONG WAY.
I KNOW IT'S A LONG WAY DOWN.
 MAKE A ROPE
NO. THIS IS INSANE!
 NO. NO.
FT, YOU ARE
THE LAST HOPE OF FRANCE.
WELL--
FIND MICHAEL.
GIVE HIM MY LETTER.
NO.
NOW, SOAR,
LIKE A BIRD.
NO.
NO. I'M GETTIN' OUT--
 NO. NO. NO!
[ Screaming ]
OW!
 [ Groaning ]
I HAVE AN IDEA.
WHY DON'T YOU MAKE
THE ROPE LONGER?
S A PG MOVIE.
HE ROPE LONGER.
[ Speaking Gibberish ]
BAZONGAS.
THANK YOU.
36 "B" CUP.
WHY?
[ Laughs ]
 GERONIMO!
GO, FT!
 [ Marie ]
 GO!
♪♪ [ Humming ]
 VIVE LA FRANCE!
 POUR LA BAS!
[ Gunshot ]
[ Shouting ]
- FIRE!
- [ Speaking French ]
  VOULEZ-VOUS COUCHEZ AVEC MOI!
♪♪ [ March ]
[ Roar ]
[ Man ]
♪ ATTACK
  OF THE KILLER TOMATOES ♪
ACK
HE KILLER TOMATOES ♪
♪ THEY'LL BEAT YOU, BASH YOU
  SQUISH YOU, MASH YOU
  CHEW YOU UP FOR BRUNCH ♪
♪ AND FINISH YOU OFF
  FOR DINNER OR LUNCH ♪
♪ THEY'RE MARCHING
  DOWN THE HALLS ♪
♪ THEY'RE CRAWLING
  UP THE WALLS ♪
PASS THE MUSTARD!
♪ THEY'RE GOOEY, GUSHY
  SQUISHY, MUSHY
  ROTTEN TO THE CORE ♪
MUSTARD GAS!
VEGETABLES!
[ Bombs Whistling ]
♪ ATTACK
  OF THE KILLER TOMATOES ♪
OH!
 
♪ THEY'LL BEAT YOU, BASH YOU
  SQUISH YOU, MASH YOU
  CHEW YOU UP FOR BRUNCH ♪
♪ AND FINISH YOU OFF
  FOR DINNER OR LUNCH ♪
♪ LUNCH, LUNCH
  DINNER OR LUNCH ♪♪
[ Tomatoes Laughing ]
LOOK OUT!
BUDDY, ARE YOU OKAY?
[ In French Accent ]
"ZANK" YOU. YOU SAVED MY LIFE.
IT WAS NOTHING.
IGOR!
 NO. I AM LOUIS, BUT
 MY FRIENDS CALL ME FRENCHY.
R,
[ Hats Clink ]
YOU LOOK JUST LIKE--
OH, BOY. THE KING!
YOU'RE THE KING!
DEMUS!
SAVE FRANCE!
I KNOW NOTHING
OF ANY PROPHECY.
[ Explosion ]
LOOK! THEY ARE ATTACKING!
NO, NO!
 - [ Gunshot ]
 - WHOA! HEY!
eams ]
'RE OKAY!
CHENIN BLANC!
LE TOMATO FUZZY!
- THE TRAITOR!
- NO, NO!
  FT IS A GOOD GUY.
IT WAS AN IMPOSTOR
THAT TRASHED THE LOUVRE.
FT, MEET THE KING.
HEY, KING!
NO, I AM FRENCHY.
LISTEN TO ME.
IF I ONLY HAD THAT BOOK.
 [ FT ]
 BEST SELLER.
HERE. LOOK.
 STREETS RUN RED.
 WATERS DON'T FLOW.
SUN DON'T SHINE.
VIRGIN WEEPS.
KING COMES BACK.
THAT'S YOU.
NO WONDER MY LAST NAME
IS SEVENTEENTH.
 [ FT Mumbles ]
WHAT?
 [ FT ]
 LETTER.
[ Rumbling ]
"MY DARLING,
 I DID NOT BETRAY YOU.
"I WAS DUPED BY GANGREEN.
 I AM IN THE TOWER
 OF 900 STEPS.
"PLEASE RESCUE ME
 AT YOUR EARLIEST
 POSSIBLE CONVENIENCE,
"SO THAT WE MAY STOP
'ZE' KILLER TOMATOES,
"RESTORE 'ZE' THRONE,
 AND SAVE FRANCE.
LOVE, MARIE."
 [ FT ]
 AWW.
INFRARED GLASSES
FOR NIGHT VISION.
NIGHT VISION?
IT'S NOON.
 OUI. AND PRECISELY
 IN ONE HOUR, THERE WILL BE
 A TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE SUN.
THE FIRST TIME IN FRANCE
SINCE 1553. THEY MAY TRY
A SURPRISE ATTACK.
 [ FT ]
 OH!
WAIT A MINUTE!
 WAIT A MINUTE!
BACK FUR--
BE AZURE SKIES TURNED
BLACK AS NIGHT UNFURLED.
AZURE MEANS BLUE!
BLUE SKIES.
DAY INTO NIGHT!
THE ECLIPSE!
OF COURSE! THAT'S IT!
 THE PROPHECY--
 IT'S GONNA TAKE PLACE
 DURING THE ECLIPSE!
WE'VE GOT TO
STOP GANGREEN!
IF HE FULFILLS
THE PROPHECY BEFORE WE DO,
IGOR BECOMES THE KING OF FRANCE.
[ FT ]
NOT IGOR!
IGOR? WHO IS "ZIS" IGOR?
I'LL EXPLAIN IT ON THE WAY
TO THE REALLY BIG CASTLE.
LET'S GO!
LET'S GO!
[ Tomatoes ]
WHOA. OH. FRESH OFF THE VINE.
[ Chuckle ]
Grunting ]
- [ Tomato With Fangs ]
    HEY, WHO DOES HIS HAIR?
- PERFECT!
 NICE STEMS, SWEETHEART.
 [ Laughing ]
I THINK I HAVE A RUN
IN MY STOCKING.
OH! NEVER MIND RUNS
IN THE STOCKING!
[ Zoltan ]
RUNS!
IN AN HOUR,
FRANCE WILL BE MINE!
YEAH!
 YOU WILL CLAIM THE THRONE,
 SURRENDER TO ZOLTAN--
EUROPE WILL BE AT MY FEET.
[ Cackles ]
GREAT PLAN, PEASANT SWINE.
HEY, BETTER HURRY UP!
THINGS ARE ROUGH AT THE FRONT.
YEAH! WE'RE USING
GREEN RECRUITS!
[ Jeering ]
[ Squishing ]
YEAH! WE'RE GETTIN' STOMPED!
NOT TO WORRY, ZOLTAN!
 NOT TO WORRY.
FT HAS SOLVED
THE PROBLEM FOR US.
REMEMBER THE MUTANT GENE
WE EXTRACTED?
[ Tomato With Fangs ]
UH-OH.
[ Grunting ]
[ Hissing, Bubbling ]
STAND BACK!
WOW! DÉJÀ VU!
YEAH.
[ Bubbling ]
[ Rattling ]
[ Tomato ]
HUH, BIRTH OF A SALAD.
[ Whistles Blowing ]
[ Tomatoes ]
OH!
[ Tomato ]
CORNER POCKET.
OH.
LIFT TICKET.
[ Tomatoes Oohing ]
 [ Electricity Crackles ]
[ Tomatoes Chuckle ]
A!
- OH!
- [ Laughs ]
- [ Laughing ]
- [ Laughing ]
[ Laughing Stops ]
- WELL, WHAT HAPPENS NOW?
- YEAH. WHAT HAPPENS NOW?
BEHOLD.
 [ Groaning ]
[ Growling ]
[ Shouting ]
- [ Laughing ]
- [ Laughing ]
I'VE DONE IT!
 I'VE DONE IT!
 I HAVE CREATED TOMATO HEAD,
 THE WORLD'S FIRST
 THERMONUCLEAR TOMATO.
OOH, OOH, OOH!
[ Laughs ]
50 MEGA-TOMS.
[ Professor ]
EQUAL TO THE DESTRUCTIVE FORCE
OF 5,000 KILLER TOMATOES. YEAH!
YES!
 YES, YES, YES!
MAMMA MIA. THAT'S
SOME SPICY "MEATBALLA".
YES, IT IS,
ISN'T IT?
[ Gurgling ]
OKAY. NOW,
THERE'S THE TOWER.
YOU GUYS CREATE A DIVERSION,
AND I GO RESCUE MARIE.
ANY QUESTIONS?
[ Gibberish ]
BISMARCK?
UH, NO. THE CAPITAL
OF IDAHO IS BOISE.
LET'S GO!
[ FT ]
YEAH!
[ FT ]
DOO DOO-DOO!
[ Growls ]
COVER ME.
EIGHT, NINE, 10,
11, 12, 13, 14, 15--
121, 122, 123, 124,
125, 126, 127--
441, 442, 443, 444,
445, 446--
 [ Footsteps Approach ]
712--
[ Slurps ]
713--
[ Grunting ]
FT, STOP "ZEM", 
LOOK. WEAPON!
DO NOT TOUCHÉ.
WELL, LOUIS,
IT IS AN EMERGENCY.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
"ZIS" IS
.
[ Frenchy ]
HALT, BLACKGUARDS!
HEY, IGOR,
WHERE'S YOUR KING DUDS?
EN GARDE,
YOU HANDSOME DOG!
EN GARDE,
YOU HANDSOME FROG!
[ Rings ]
[ Audience Cheering ]
HMM.
unting ]
[ Gr
WOW! FINALLY
SOMETHING DECENT!
THIS IS BETTER
THAN UNIVERSAL STUDIOS!
[ Groans ]
SO REALISTIC TOO!
AH, PARDON ME,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
PLEASE STEP INTO
THIS FINE EXAMPLE OF
A 16th CENTURY BROOM CLOSET.
[ Crowd Oooos ]
- HO! HO--
 Grunts ]
[ Rings Twice ]
OKAY, FOOTWORK.
FOOTWORK. YOU GOTTA USE
YOUR RIGHT HAND.
THE JUDGES ARE GONNA
VOTE AGAINST YOU.
YOU GOTTA TAKE HIM THIS ROUND.
DON'T FORGET.
FOOTWORK. FOOTWORK!
]
[ Tarzan Yell ]
[ Gurgling ]
[ Man With Bullhorn ]
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S A CUT.
RESET, PEOPLE. BACK TO ONE.
ART DEPARTMENT, WILL
YOU GET ON THIS WALL?
STAY MIKED!
SPEED! ACTION! CUT!
ACK!
BURN PAGE 64!
 BURN IT!
OOH, OW!
OW! OW!
 [ Igor Grunting ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Groans, Grunts ]
YOU, SIR, ARE MY PRISONER.
[ Screams ]
 [ Zoltan ]
 UH-OH.
 YO, BOSS MAN!
THERE'S SOMEONE CLIMBING
THE STEPS TO THE TOWER.
HE'S GONNA RESCUE THE BROAD!
NOT LIKELY, ZOLTAN.
 NOT LIKELY.
[ Beeping ]
750, 751, 75
Door Sliding Open ]
[ Groaning ]
755! 756! 757!
[ Shouting ]
[ Groaning ]
[ Sighs ]
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR,
FIVE, SIX, SEVEN--
YOU WILL NEVER
GET AWAY WITH THIS,
EVEN IF YOU PLACE AN IMPOSTOR
ON THE THRONE OF FRANCE!
ONE LOOK AT MY FACE WILL
UNMASK YOUR FIENDISH PLOT.
 [ Professor ]
 DID YOU SAY UNMASK?
OOH, AN UNFORTUNATE
CHOICE OF WORDS,
BECAUSE NO ONE IS EVER
GOING TO SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN.
[ Laughs ]
IGOR.
 [ Igor Laughs ]
FAREWELL, SWEET PRINCE.
OR WHOEVER'S IN THERE.
MY LIFE MEANS NOTHING.
AT THIS VERY MOMENT,
MY BRAVE AMERICAN FRIEND
IS CLOSING IN ON YOU.
[ Professor ]
I'M LEAVING A LITTLE SURPRISE
FOR YOUR FRIEND.
AS YOU'VE DISCOVERED,
IT'S EASIER TO GET INTO
MY CASTLE THAN OUT OF IT. VIPER!
YO!
HAVE TOMATO HEAD GREET
OUR GUEST IN THE LOBBY.
- ZOLTAN, REPORT!
- EVERYTHING'S SET, BOSS.
TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE SUN
IN 26 MINUTES.
ON TO PARIS!
THE PROPHECY IS AT HAND!
SO LONG, SUCKER.
[ Tomato With Fangs ]
CIAO, BABY.
[ Laughs ]
[ Shouting, Straining ]
[ Clunk ]
[ Groans ]
17, 18--
[ Rumbling ]
SKATES? OH, WHY DID
IT HAVE TO BE SKATES?
[ Grunting ]
NO!
YAH!
MARIE. MARIE!
MICHAEL?
 [ Michael ]
 YES!
AH!
HURRY!
OW!
OH! AH! AH!
I NEVER THOUGHT
I'D SEE YOU AGAIN.
HEY, YOU CAN'T
GET RID OF ME THAT EASILY.
THEN YOU DON'T HATE ME
FOR WHAT'S HAPPENED?
HATE YOU?
[ Engine Starts ]
[ Tomato With Fangs ]
OW! WATCH THAT SPEED BUMP.
MICHAEL, LOOK!
[ Professor Laughing ]
[ Tomato ]
UH, FELLAS?
[ Zoltan ]
NOTHING LIKE THE WIND
IN MY LEAVES!
COME ON! WE GOT TO STOP THAT
MISOGYNISTIC MISANTHROPE.
OH, I LOVE
THAT KIND OF TALK.
HECK, MAYBE IGOR
WOULD MAKE AN OKAY KING.
[ Both ]
NAH.
MICHAEL, I THOUGHT
WE WERE IN A HURRY!
WHERE'S FT?
HE'S WITH LOUIS.
WHO'S LOUIS?
I'LL EXPLAIN
ON THE WAY DOWN.
COME ON!
HMM. OKAY.
OH, OH!
 OH, DUNGEON.
 HMM, OKAY.
[ Groaning ]
LOUIS!
[ Thud ]
OW! OW!
DON'T WORRY, LOUIS.
I'LL SAVE YOU.
[ Squealing ]
OW! OW!
[ Muttering ]
[ Groaning ]
[ Muttering ]
OW! OW! OW!
[ Grunting ]
[ FT ]
♪ WAKE UP, LOUIS
  AND FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT ♪
♪ CHARGE THAT DOOR
  WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT ♪
♪ PRECIOUS SOMETHING
  FOR YOU AND ME ♪
♪ ONWARD, LOUIS-- ♪♪
[ Muffled Screams ]
[ Groans ]
 LET ME OUT!
 GET ME OUT OF HERE, LOUIS!
[ Mumbling ]
LOUIS!
COME, LE TOMATO FUZZY!
WE MUST SAVE FRANCE!
YEAH!
SO, YOU SEE, LOUIS
IS THE TRUE KING OF FRANCE!
AND WE HAVE TO FULFILL
THE PROPHECY BEFORE THEY DO,
BEFORE THE ECLIPSE!
THAT'S THE WHOLE STORY.
WOW!
"ZAT" IS THE SECOND
MOST AMAZING STORY
I'VE EVER HEARD.
CAN'T THIS THING
GO ANY FASTER?
BE PATIENT.
WE MUST TAKE "ZIS"
ONE STEP AT A TIME.
[ Elevator Dings ]
HOT DOG! GET YOUR GENUINE
AMERICAN HOT DOG!
WHICH WAY DID THEY GO?
WHO?
A MADMAN IN A WHITE LAB COAT,
 A PRINCE IN BLUE PANTY HOSE...
AND SOME VICIOUS
RED ROUND THINGS.
COULD YOU BE MORE SPECIFIC?
HEY, LOUIS.
LET'S GET A HOT DOG, OKAY?
- WE DO NOT HAVE TIME
  FOR A HOT DOG.
- HEY, I MADE A PLAN.
AH. UH, TWO POLISH DOGS
AND SOME FRIES.
FRIES?
FOREIGN OR DOMESTIC?
DOMESTIC, OF COURSE!
[ FT ]
LET'S GO. COME ON!
- [ FT ]
   OKAY, I'LL DRIVE.
- VIVE LA FRANCE!
WHO WAS THAT MASKED MAN?
ONWARD, LE TOMATO FUZZY!
[ Michael ]
OH, MY GOSH.
WHAT IS IT?
WELL, IT APPEARS TO BE A GIANT,
SLOBBERING, SOMEWHAT OVERWEIGHT
TOMATO WITH A CAPE AND MASK.
IT'S...
 IT'S PHANTOMATO OF THE OPERA!
 [ Marie Screams ]
BACK OFF, YOU OVERGROWN
PIECE OF PRODUCE!
AAH!
HOLY SMOKE!
MICHAEL,
SOMETHING!
W-- B-B--
WEAPON! I NEED A WEAPON!
THERE!
I WAS THINKING MORE ALONG
THE LINES OF A PATRIOT MISSILE.
 LOOK!
AH! HAH!
NOW, THAT WAS
AN INTERESTING DIVERSION.
NOW, ON TO
THE HIGHLIGHT OF OUR TOUR,
THE TOWER OF 900 STEPS.
[ All ]
900 STEPS? OH!
 I'D LIKE YOU TO
 NOTICE THIS VERY LARGE
 ELIZABETHAN TAPESTRY...
DIRECTLY BEHIND ME.
AND TO MY LEFT IS A LOUIS XIV
STRATOLOUNGER.
AND THIS IS A GIANT,
FIRE-BREATHING TOMATO.
A GIANT, FIRE-BREATHING TOMATO?
[ Screams ]
DAMN! I'M OUT OF FILM!
GO, GO, GO!
GOT IT.
 YOU GOT IT?
OW!
ALL RIGHT! NOW,
I'LL DISTRACT HIM
AND YOU GET OUT OF HERE!
OH, MICHAEL! YOU'LL
GET A MEDAL FOR "ZIS"!
YEAH, POSTHUMOUSLY.
NO, DEFINITELY!
[ Shouting ]
HUH?
[ Crowd Oh's ]
MAGNIFIQUE!
SIMPLY BRILLIANT!
 [ Cameras Snapping ]
HEY, WE STILL
HAVE TO FIND FT, AND
WE HAVE TO STOP GANGREEN.
OR THIS.
[ Chattering ]
AHH!
DE!
THESE ARE MY BEST SHOES!
GENUINE IMPORTED CHEROKEES!
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
YOU WOULDN'T BY ANY CHANCE
BE LOOKING FOR THAT MAN IN
THE IRON FACE MASK, WOULD YOU?
IRON FACE MASK?
NO. NO, NO.
WE'RE LOOKING FOR
A LITTLE RED FUZZBALL.
A FUZZBALL?
HE WENT THAT-A-WAY!
THANK YOU! COME ON!
HEY! TELL HIM
HE OWES ME 3.50!
UH, PARDON ME.
THE NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND.
THIS IS BRIGITTE BARDOT.
WE'RE ON A MISSION
FOR THE SECRET SERVICE.
WE NEED YOUR MOTOR VEHICLE.
UH, HAVE A NICE DAY.
[ Cameras Snapping ]
 I "ZOUGHT" SEAN CONNERY
THAT WAS ROGER MOORE,
DUMMY.
IT LOOKED LIKE SKIPPY TO ME.
ONWARD TO GLORY,
YES! THE AZURE SKIES TURNED
BLACK AS NIGHT UNFURLED!
COME ON!
CITIZENS OF FRANCE!
VICT
ICHYSSOISE!
OH, CAN'
GO ANY F
SHIFT GEARS OR SOMETHING!
I AM DOING THE BEST I CAN!
[ Grinding ]
[ Tires Squealing ]
HURRY! HURRY!
UH-OH.
HEY, BOSS, WE GOT COMPANY.
ONWA
GADZOOKS!
GOLDEN GOMER AT 6:00, IGOR!
MAKE HASTE
WITH THE PASTE!
YEAH! LET'S JUICE 'EM, JACK!
HEY, I CAN'T SEE!
WATCH WHERE YOU ARE GOING,
LE TOMATO FUZZY!
OH! OH!
LOOK OUT!
 LOOK OUT,
 LE TOMATO FUZZY!
[ Shouts ]
[ Moans ]
LOUI
U HURT?
I AM ALL RIGHT. QUICKLY,
WE MUST WARN "ZE" PEOPLE
BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.
- YOU ARE A MESS. EW!
- YOU ARE RIGHT. I AM A MESS.
HAND ME "ZAT" COSTUME!
LOYAL SUBJECT,
WE MUST FIGHT!
LOYAL SUBJECT,
WE MUST HELP!
LOYAL SUBJECT,
WE MUST STRIKE!
TOUGH CROWD.
IT'S GOTTA BE!
 THERE THEY ARE!
 HURRY UP!
- ONWARD, IGOR!
- GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!
DESTINY! OUR DESTINO!
YES!
 ALL RIGHT,
L ALONGSIDE!
 GIVE IT UP,
 YOU GARLIC SCUM!
THAT'S "GALLIC" SCUM, NIMROD!
YAH! YAH! YAH!
- HEY, WATCH IT!
- HA!
- [ Groans ]
- YOU CAN'T WIN!
DON'T YOU KNOW GOOD
ALWAYS KICKS EVIL'S BUTT?
[ Professor ]
WANNA BET?
SLICE AND DICE,
IGOR! YES!
, LOOK OUT!
[ Groans ]
[ Tomato With Fangs ]
SHE GETS THE POINT.
FIGHT! FIGHT!
[ Professor ]
CLOSER, YOU TEUTONIC TWIT!
- [ Gasp ]
- YES, YES, YES!
[ Laughing ]
OH, PROFESSOR,
HOW DO WE GET OUT OF HERE?
BEAR RIGHT, YOU IDIOT!
[ Tomato ]
OH, STREET SWEEPERS
COMING THROUGH!
[ Shouting ]
[ Tomato ]
JUICE 'EM, PROFESSOR!
[ Groans, Screams ]
[ Laughing ]
AH. THE STREETS OF PARIS
SHALL RUN BRIGHT RED.
THE FIRST PART OF
THE PROPHECY IS FULFILLED!
[ Professor ]
THREE TO GO!
OH!
[ Grunts ]
WHERE'D THEY GO?
I DON'T KNOW.
[ Marie ]
OH, NO!
WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!
THINK! WHERE COULD
THEY HAVE GONE?
LET ME SEE.
UH, STREETS RUN RED.
NO KIDDING.
BLACK SKIES. DITTO.
WATERS DON'T FLOW.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
"ZE" WATERS OF LIFE.
"ZE" WATERS OF LIFE.
"ZE" FOUNTAIN IN THE SQUARE.
THE DAY WE CAME TO BUY IT.
REMEMBER?
RIGHT! THEY'RE GONNA TRY
AND STOP THE FOUNTAIN!
LET'S GO!
[ Vendor ]
SUNGLASSES! SUNGLASSES
FOR THE BIG ECLIPSE!
GET YOUR SUNGLASSES,
50 FRANCS!
SUNGLASSES FOR YOU
AND THE WIFE?
WON'T BE NECESSARY.
SURE? DON'T WANT TO MISS
THIS ONE. WON'T BE ANOTHER
LIKE IT FOR 300 YEARS.
THANKS JUST THE SAME.
OKAY, MAN.
SUIT YOURSELF.
SUNGLASSES! SUNGLASSES
FOR THE BIG ECLIPSE!
[ Breathing Heavily ]
WHICH WAY?
I DON'T KNOW. ASK HIM!
PARDON MOI. WHICH WAY
TO THE WATERS OF LIFE?
OH, I'M NOT POSITIVE.
BUT-- BUT
I'VE GOT A HUNCH.
THANK YOU!
[ Rings Bell ]
[ Rings Bell Faster ]
CE, HEAR ME!
[ Frenchy ]
I AM THE RIGHTFUL KING!
IGOR IS A FAKE!
A CHARLATAN HESTON.
- [ Michael ] WHO'S THAT
   RINGING IN THE SEINE?
- GENE KELLY?
NO! IT'S--
IT'S LOUIS!
HEY, LOUIS! THEY'RE
AT THE WATERS OF LIFE!
COME ON!
[ Michael ]
WE'VE GOTTA HURRY!
OH, WOW. POP A PAIR
OF SPEEDOS ON THAT GUY,
HE COULD BE IN THE OLYMPICS.
COME ON!
WAIT FOR ME!
[ Groaning ]
 "THEN FLOW NOT
  THE WATERS OF LIFE...
  BE THE
EAD."
 ONE MINUTE TO GO.
 COME, COME.
[ Vendor ]
STRAWBERRIES!
SUNGLASSES! CHERRIES!
"BE AZURE SKIES TURNED BLACK
 AS NIGHT UNFURLED...
WHERE A WEEPING VIRGIN
STANDS WATCH
O'ER THE UNDERWORLD."
WOW, IT'S ALL COMING TRUE.
BUT, PROFESSOR,
WHERE ARE WE GONNA
FIND A WEEPING VIRGIN?
OW!
[ Cries ]
 "WHEN THESE FOUR THINGS
  STRANGE OCCUR AS ONE,
THEN THE TRUE KING OF FRANCE
SHALL RETURN WITH THE SUN."
[ Laughing ]
s Crying ]
HEY, I'M GONNA BE KING.
IGOR!
IMPOSTOR!
[ Professor ]
PEOPLE OF FRANCE, WHO IS
THIS INSOLENT INTERLOPER?
- THIS IMPOSTOR? WHO?
- I AM "ZE" KING OF FRANCE.
- I'M THE KING OF FRANCE.
- LIAR!
[ Gasp ]
OW! OW! OW!
AH. OW!
[ Sighs ]
HEY!
 HEY, YOU CAN'T DO--
OH, MY GOD!
WE HAVE A QUEEN!
YEAH!
[ Cheers ]
[ Man ]
THE QUEEN!
WE HAVE A QUEEN!
[ Crowd Sighs ]
[ Laughs ]
[ Man ]
HEAR ME!
THE QUEEN MUST
CHOOSE HER KING!
IT IS WRITTEN!
[ Crowd Ahh's ]
BUT I DO NOT WANT A KING.
BURN HER!
BURN HER!
 BURN HER!
OFF WITH HER HEAD!
BUT WHO AM I TO DISREGARD
THE WILL OF THE PEOPLE?
[ Cheers ]
MARIE, YOU MUST CHOOSE!
UH, SORRY, IGOR.
IT DIDN'T WORK.
WE'VE BEEN DISCOVERED.
I APOLOGIZE TO EVERYONE.
THIS IS THE TRUE KING.
[ Tarzan Yell ]
IT'S JOHNNY--
[ In Lower Pitch ]
IT'S JOHNNY WEISMULLER!
[ Grunts ]
[ Sneeze ]
- [ Crowd Gasps ]
- [ Michael ]
  IGOR!
 [ Igor Grunts ]
MY LIEGE!
[ Cheers ]
[ Beeping ]
COME ON, MOVE IT!
MOVE IT! MOVE IT!
COMIN' THROUGH!
LET'S GO, BOYS.
THE PARTY'S OVER.
[ Grunting ]
[ Cheering ]
[ Strugg
WHOO-HOO! WAY TO GO!
YEAH! WHOO-HOO!
[ Cheering ]
[ Kisses ]
[ FT Mumbling ]
WELL, OLD BUDDY,
I GUESS IT'S YOU AND ME.
!
IT'S BETTER THIS WAY.
HECK, SHE'S NOT MY TYPE ANYWAY.
RIGHT?
YEAH, SHE'S BAD FOR YOU.
YEAH. WHO AM I KIDDIN'?
HEY, COME ON.
THERE'S STILL PLENTY
MORE EUROPE TO SEE.
LOOK. GUATEMALA'S
RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER.
AH, GUATEMALA.
GOOD-BYE,
MICHAEL J. FOX.
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.
BUT NOW,
I BELONG TO FRANCE.
[ Cheering ]
LOYAL SUBJECTS,
TODAY IS A GREAT DAY
FOR FRANCE!
BECAUSE NOTHING
IS MORE ROMANTIC,
MORE POIGNANT, MORE PROFITABLE
"ZAN" A ROYAL WEDDING.
[ Cheering ]
EXCEPT F
.
WHO ABDICATES HER THRONE
FOR "ZE" COMMONER SHE LOVES.
MICHAEL!
MICHAEL! MICHAEL!
[ Gasps ]
MICHAEL!
 MICHAEL
MARIE!
OH, MARIE.
[ FT Screams ]
LOOK, I HAVE TO
LEVEL WITH YOU.
I'M NOT MICHAEL J. FOX.
 I'M NOT A BIG MOVIE STAR.
I'M MORE LIKE
A... B MOVIE STAR.
THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT NOW.
WHAT'S IMPORTANT
IS I LOVE YOU!
I LOVE YOU MORE THAN
ANY GUY HAS EVER LOVED
A GIRL IN A MOVIE!
AND, WELL,
IF IT COMES DOWN TO ME
OR THE KING OF FRANCE--
WELL, THAT'S A TOUGH CHOICE.
MAYBE NOT SO DIFFICULT
AS YOU THINK, FOREIGN PEASANT.
OH, HO!
[ Sighs, Gasps ]
[ Man ]
"ZE" QUEEN IS KISSING
A COMMONER. SHE CANNOT DO THAT.
[ Cheering ]
[ Vendor ]
ROYAL SCANDAL!
READ ALL ABOUT IT!
 READ ABOUT
 A ROYAL SCANDAL!
[ Growling ]
AND SO THEY ALL LIVED
HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
WHAT A CROCK.
YEAH!
WIPE THE SAPPY SMILES
OFF YOUR FACES, SUCKERS!
WHILE YOU WERE WATCHING
THE END OF THIS STUPID MOVIE,
WE PAID A LITTLE VISIT
TO THE PARKING LOT.
[ Laughs ]
ANYBODY LIKE A GOOD DEAL
ON A SLIGHTLY USED BLAUPUNKT?
[ Laughs ]
I'LL BE BACK!
ME TOO.
[ Laughing ]
YES, I WILL!
OH, YEAH!
♪ ATTACK
  OF THE KILLER TOMATOES ♪
I'M VIPER!
 I'M KETCHUP!
[ Zoltan ]
I JUST ATE FT!
♪ WE'LL BEAT YOU, BASH YOU
  SQUISH YOU, MASH YOU ♪
♪ CHEW YOU UP FOR BRUNCH ♪
♪ AND FINISH YOU OFF
  FOR DINNER OR LUNCH ♪
[ Viper ]
OR MAYBE A LIGHT SNACK.
[ Ketchup ]
OR SLICED
OVER BREAKFAST CEREAL.
[ Viper ]
DID YOU BRING
THE DENTAL FLOSS, KETCHUP?
[ Tomatoes Laughing ]
♪ WE'RE MARCHING DOWN THE HALL ♪
[ Viper ]
HERE WE COME.
[ Ketchup ]
TWO HUP, TWO HUP, TWO.
TOLD YA.
♪ WE'RE CRAWLING
  UP YOUR WALLS ♪
[ Viper ]
IT'S NOT VERY ATTRACTIVE.
[ Ketchup ]
A TRAIL OF GOO.
♪ WE'RE GOOEY, GUSHY
  SQUISHY, MUSHY
  ROTTEN TO THE CORE ♪
SPEAK FOR YOURSELF.
♪ WE'RE STANDING
  OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR ♪♪
[ Zoltan ]
JUST OUTSIDE THE DOOR, LADY.
[ Ketchup ]
OPEN UP!
 [ Viper ]
 KNOCK, KNOCK!
[ Viper ]
OH, FORGET IT.
SING THAT SONG YOU LIKE SO MUCH.
[ Zoltan ]
NO.
♪ 99 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL
   99 BOTTLES OF BEER ♪
♪ YOU TAKE ONE DOWN
  PASS IT AROUND ♪
♪ 98 BOTTLES
  OF BEER ON THE WALL ♪
♪ 98-- 97 BOTTLES OF
  KETCHUP ON THE WALL ♪♪
[ Viper ]
KETCHUP, I GOT A GOOD ONE.
WHAT?
♪ ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR TOMATOES
  GENTLY DOWN THE-- ♪♪
OH, I LIKED THAT.
OKAY, WHERE WERE WE?
♪ 97 BOTTLES OF KETCHUP
  ON THE WALL ♪
 ♪ 97 BOTTLES OF KETCHUP
   ON THE WALL ♪
♪ TAKE ONE DOWN
  PASS IT AROUND ♪
♪ YOU HAVE A BUNCH OF
  DEAD TOMATOES ON THE WALL ♪♪
[ Viper ]
FORGET IT.
HEY, THIS IS
THE END OF THE MOVIE! 
THIS ISN'T
IN MY CONTRACT.
COME ON, YOU GUYS!
OH, HURTIN'.
CUT IT OFF!
IT'S ALL OVER.
I'M TRYING TO TELL 'EM.
HEY!
I'M SORRY TO KEEP YOU HERE,
BUT-- TURN THE THING OFF!
