Hey, guys.
I'm Ashley Graham, model,
designer, entrepreneur,
and body activist.
I'm so grateful to
be where I am today,
but the path wasn't easy.
Now I'm so honored to help
others gain the confidence
that they need to take the
next step in their lives
to be totally,
unapologetically fearless.
This is Kaiden.
Kaiden is 26 years
old and identifies
as gender non-binary.
I am assigned female at birth.
But I never felt good about
how I was expressing myself
on the outside.
I don't necessarily
want to be a guy,
but I don't want to be a woman.
Kaiden is proud of who they are,
but they're having a hard time
finding other people
that have gone
through similar experiences.
I feel alone during
this process.
No one knows how much
you're struggling.
Total Wireless is connecting
us to help them take
the next step in their journey.
I know the difference
between gender and sex
can be so confusing.
Yeah.
Can you explain that for us?
For me, I am assigned female
birth so, my sex is female.
And it's always
going to be female.
I'm not going to change that.
My gender, though, is how I feel
up here, how I feel in here,
and how I want the
world to see me.
I'm non-binary.
I'm a trans masculine
individual--
OK.
--which means I'm not
man, and I'm not a woman.
I want to live in a world
where I don't need a label
and I can just exist.
You're happy not being a man.
You're happy not being a woman.
Correct.
You said, I am Kaiden.
Absolutely.
So you've had a
couple surgeries.
About five weeks ago,
I had top surgery.
OK.
And then September 13, I
had a total hysterectomy.
And I'm feeling pretty
relieved to have
the weight off my chest.
No pun intended?
All puns intended.
[LAUGHTER]
What was the hardest
part after surgery?
It's trying to feel OK
in the world you exist
in when you feel
good about yourself,
but you don't fit
in with that world.
You go back to work.
Yeah.
What was that like
starting work again?
Like, hey, guys.
My name's Kaiden.
Please refer to me with
they/them pronouns.
And how did everybody handle it?
It was awkward.
When you come out to
a bunch of people,
it was not easy, because
they knew me as someone else.
How did your family react?
They want to blame something.
There's an answer to everything.
The answer is, this is just me.
When did you, all of a sudden,
say, this is what I want?
I was teaching at a
Title I school in Tacoma.
And I was going by Professor
KB instead of Mr. or Mrs.
But it was that fall when I
was kind of reflecting a lot.
And I talked to
my partner, Steph.
Something's got to change.
How long have you and
Stephanie been together?
Two years coming up in November.
Wow.
Yeah.
I want to give her so much
credit for being open to me.
So Stephanie has been
a beacon of light.
But do you have any friends
that have transitioned or are
non-binary?
Yeah.
So I met one person
on Instagram, James--
Aw.
--and he's living his best life.
When you are living in such a
world where you feel insecure,
you need a constant
set of support systems
with people where
you're like, hey.
If I text you, I
know you're going
to text back kind of thing.
What are your biggest
concerns for the future?
Feeling accepted or finding
people that I can feel like I
fit in with.
A community.
Absolutely.
Well, Kaiden, I just
want to say thank you.
Thank you for being so
brave, for talking to me,
for being here.
I know that you face
adversity every single day
of your life in this world.
But I want to show you
something very special right
through those curtains.
OK.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
All right.
Roll the tape, please.
Hey, Kaiden.
It's your friend James.
First of all, I want to
say how proud I am of you.
And I want you to know
that you're not alone,
and I'm always here for you.
And I'd also like
to introduce you
to some other people
that understand
what you're going through
and also have your back.
Hey, I'm Wyatt, and I identify
as a trans masculine person.
You are absolutely not alone.
There's a lot of
people that don't even
believe in the idea of
non-binary, transgender.
Most people think that I'm
doing it for attention.
The biggest thing that
people misunderstand
is, we're not trying
to be someone else.
We're trying to be ourselves.
I was born and
assigned male at birth.
And I've been on hormones,
but I've kept my beard.
And it's very confusing
to a lot of people.
Don't let people freak
you out about your body.
I figure, we all are given
our bodies kind of like cars.
And it's up to you how
you want to soup it up.
Kaiden, I think your
story was amazing,
and I relate a
lot to your story.
If you ever need anything,
you can contact me.
You don't ever have to be alone.
We have your back.
Come on over, Kaiden.
We're waiting for you.
You are more powerful
than you know.
So how do you feel
after seeing that video?
Touched.
You feel like almost, like,
an arm's reach away, though.
Mm-hmm.
And it's like, great.
Let's hang out.
Let's find ways to
feel more connected.
Well, I know how
important that is for you,
and I know how important support
and a community is for you.
So I want you to
meet a few people.
Come on out!
You came!
How are you?
How are you?
I'm good.
Hey!
This is everybody in the video.
Hello!
[MUSIC - ANDRA DAY, "RISE UP"]
(SINGING) We'll rise up.
Kind of funny how
you just said they
were just an arm's length away.
Yeah.
And now everybody is.
I think everybody has a few
things they want to say.
First of all, I'm so excited
about this year for you.
It has been fast and furious.
And I know how scary the
other side of transitioning
is, where you're like, oh, no.
Now everyone sees me, and
I'm accountable for that.
You're only at the beginning
of building a huge community
that you're a part of.
And we all got your back.
That's awesome.
I'm a trans guy, and
I've been where you are.
It does get better, and just
don't ever suffer alone.
We're here for you.
Thank you.
And we all here
understand what it's
like to be misgendered
constantly--
Yeah.
--to have to overcome obstacles
and to navigate a world that's
often designed against us.
But we also understand what it's
like to be resilient, right?
To have community behind us
and to be loved and celebrated.
And so we're all here to let
you know that we love you,
and we're proud of you,
and we're excited for you.
Yes.
[LAUGHS]
How do you feel?
Overwhelmed.
I'm sure.
It's a lot.
When you find people that
can have shared experiences
with you, and then they can
say they see you in a way
that no one else can,
that's super special.
It is special,
because everybody here
has been through very
similar experiences.
I mean, I'm feeling
the support as well.
Yeah.
[LAUGHTER]
OK.
So we want you to stay
connected with everybody here.
And so Total Wireless and
I want to give you a phone.
Whoo!
That is awesome.
Thank you.
Yes!
Don't you love it
when things fly in?
I mean, yeah.
But also, I know how
important Stephanie is to you.
And we want to give
you a trip to Vegas
to stay at the Venetian.
No way.
Yes.
[APPLAUSE]
You're going to
have some sexy time.
Yes.
[LAUGHTER]
And you get to go
to Ellen's show
during the 12 Days of Giveaways.
No.
Yeah!
[APPLAUSE]
That is awesome.
You watch that all the time,
and you're like, ah, if only.
If only.
If only.
How are you feeling?
Grateful.
Well, I really do
hope that you stay
connected with your friends.
They came here to support you.
And whether the outside
world says whatever they say,
you look back at these faces
and you remember, I am loved.
Thanks, guys.
Love you, Kaiden.
There is a huge
community of people
that have been misunderstood.
Finding those people today have
shown me that I'm not alone.
Because I feel seen.
I feel valid.
I am so glad that now Kaiden
has a community that's not just
an arm's reach away.
They're right there.
I hope that people that have a
family member or a friend that
is going through this
journey and transition,
that the thing they can do the
most is just ask them, hey,
are you OK?
So you can better
respect that person
and hopefully show
them love and kindness
the way they deserve to be.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
