

Relationship With God:

Understanding Your Emotional Self

By

Jesus (AJ Miller) &

Mary Magdalene (Mary Luck)

Session 1

Published by

Divine Truth, Australia at Smashwords

http://www.divinetruth.com/

Copyright 2015 Divine Truth

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

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This ebook is a transcript of a seminar delivered by Jesus (AJ Miller) and Mary Magdalene (Mary Luck) on 8th February 2014 in Kentucky, New South Wales, Australia, as part of the Relationship with God series. In this seminar Jesus and Mary discuss how our current state is out of harmony with the way that God designed us to be, how to engage God and our soul emotionally to follow the "Way" to God, how most people currently view emotions, how to learn humility in order to become completely emotional, and the benefits of becoming completely emotional.

Reminder From Jesus & Mary

Jesus and Mary would like to remind you that any document produced by Divine Truth containing any information from Jesus, Mary or any other person includes only a portion of God's Truth that they have personally discovered.

It does not and cannot contain the entire of God's Truth since God's Truth is infinite and humankind will forever continue to discover more of God's Truth as we progress in receiving more of God's Love.

Please remember that due to these limitations information contained within this document may need to be revised in the future.

Many other ebooks have been published by Divine Truth, including ebooks translated into a variety of different languages.

Please visit <http://www.Smashwords.com/profile/view/DivineTruth> or www.divinetruth.com for further information.

Additional sessions on the subject in this book can be found on www.Smashwords.com/profile/view/DivineTruth

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Table of Contents

Understanding Your Emotional Self: Session 1 Part 1

1. Introduction

2. Our current state is completely out of harmony with how God designed us to be

2.1. Free will enables us to choose whether to feel

2.2. Emotions are essential for every relationship

2.3. Our perceptions of reality are distorted

2.3.1. Emotions create thoughts

2.3.2. Distorting the Divine Truth

2.3.3. The mind is subservient to the soul

3. The "Way" involves engaging our soul and God emotionally

3.1. An example of a participant with rage towards her mother

3.2. Being honest about what we are feeling

3.3. Negative emotions are not a part of our identity and can only be released by feeling

3.4. Being honest about what we are feeling (continued)

3.5. Being emotional is essential for progression

3.6. An example of a participant who wishes to avoid emotion and emotional stimuli

4. How most currently see emotions

4.1. Seeing emotion as a process

4.1.1. Being emotional is the destination

4.1.2. Our choices determine when we will feel

4.2. Symptoms of viewing emotion as a process

4.2.1. Viewing emotion is a chore, duty or temporary state

4.2.2. Viewing emotion as a concept rather than an experience

4.2.3. Taking action rather than repenting

4.2.4. An illustration of feeling afraid of losing things

4.2.5. Hoping rather than accepting reality

4.2.6. Being afraid to be wrong

4.2.7. Feeling that life is pointless

4.2.8. Wanting control rather than allowing

4.3. "Processing" emotions and getting "triggered"

4.4. Being emotional is the destination (continued)

4.5. Symptoms of viewing emotion as a process (continued)

4.5.1. Viewing emotions as fear and pain rather than joy and freedom

Understanding Your Emotional Self: Session 1 Part 2

5. How most currently view emotions (continued)

5.1. Seeing emotions as a means to and end

5.1.1. A means to be happy

5.1.2. A means to only feel "good" emotions and not feel "bad" emotions

5.1.3. False beliefs about feeling emotions are imbibed during our childhoods

6. Learning humility in order to become completely emotional

6.1. Desiring control over emotions

6.2. Feeling blockages to feeling emotions

6.3. Being willing to feel all emotions in and around us, without a need to share them with others

6.3.1. Wanting to avoid feeling others' emotions is due to addictions

6.4. Not being invested in others' opinions of us

6.4.1. An illustration of AJ being attacked in the first century

6.5. An illustration of releasing unworthy emotions

6.6. Growing our emotional tolerance to emotional acceptance and then desire

6.7. Doubt is a choice to avoid resolution or action

6.8. Feeling emotions is a solitary, individual experience

7. Benefits of becoming completely emotional

8. Future discussions on "Understanding Your Emotional Self"

9. Learning humility in order to become completely emotional (continued)

9.1. Identifying blocks to our emotions

9.2. Moving out of stagnation

9.3. The power of feeling and releasing fear

9.4. Moving out of stagnation (continued)

10. Closing words

Appendix: Seminar Outline

Understanding Your Emotional Self: Session 1 Part 1

1. Introduction

What we would like to discuss with you today is a basic principle that we feel is the main reason why no real soul change has occurred for most people who hear Divine Truth. So the subject of today's discussion is part of the Relationship with God series, and we're calling it "Understanding Your Emotional Self."

Now the reason why we've decided to have this chat with you today is because we feel the majority of people still don't understand one of the basic principles of the "Way" to God. And that basic principle is this - without you becoming a fully-fledged, 100% emotional being, you'll never have a relationship with God. Without you becoming a fully-fledged, 100% emotional being, there is no way that you'll ever become at-one with God.

What we would like to talk to you about is how you do that, and the contrast between that and what many of you are currently doing, and how much many of you invest in your emotions rather than actually allow your emotions. We'll talk about what we mean by investing in them in comparison to allowing them. We'll talk about how many of you want to talk about emotion rather than feeling emotion.

No real change can occur without you understanding that your soul is going to be 100% emotional, that you're going to be emotional all the time. Once you're at-one with God, you will be emotional all the time.

2. Our current state is completely out of harmony with how God designed us to be

The first thing we would like to say to you is this. The way you see things at the moment, the way you hear things, the way you interpret things, the way you taste things and the way you touch things, the way you believe things to be with your intellect, the way you analyse things, the way you feel things at the moment, the way you see the universe around you, the way you see God and yourself and others around you \- all of it is out of harmony with how God sees you.

Do you know how we know that? Because if it was in harmony with how God sees you, you would already be at-one with God. So what I'm basically saying to you is even the very way in which you think is completely out of harmony with the way God originally designed you to think. The way that you currently feel is out of harmony with the way God designed you to feel. The key is to not get all complicated about that, but to realize the truth of that - that the way God designed you to be is not the way you currently are. The way you currently are has been completely controlled and manipulated by the environment in which you have lived. And that environment has been completely the opposite way of dealing with anything than the way God originally designed you to deal with everything: completely the opposite.

Now I feel most of us have no concept of that at this stage. We believe the life we currently have is reality, and it's not from God's perspective. It's not. And we are so addicted to this reality that we think that we understand what's being said to us when we have a discussion about Divine Truth, and we don't. What we have instead is even our thought and intellectual processes have been distorted so much by the environment in which we live that it's impossible for us to really understand what's going on; what's even being said to us. We interpret every statement of what's said to us through the filters that have all been distorted. It's like having a great big filter, like a water filter, and having it coloured with mud, and then pushing some water through it and hoping that you're going to get some purity out the other end. And it's not possible, it's just not possible.

So the question then becomes how do we get from that place, where almost every single part of our life has been distorted in some way, where even the very way in which we think, the way in which we feel, the way we see the world, how we see things, even how we taste things, feel things and hear things is all distorted by these filters that have been placed within us at a very, very young age, usually soon after conception? How do we get from that place to being at-one with God is the question. And the answers are really simple but the majority of us don't engage them.

We would like to talk to you today, in particular, about emotion and its impact on your relationship with God. The type of being we need to become if we're ever going to have a relationship with God.

2.1. Free will enables us to choose whether to feel

Now I think of God as the Grand Emotional Being, if you like. If you want a definition of what it means to be an emotional being, God is it. Every single feeling God has is instantly transmitted to every single creation of God's that God has a feeling for. It's a constant flow of feelings that God has, from God to all of God's Creation. Now the only one of God's Creations that doesn't feel that flow is the human soul creation, and the only reason why we don't feel that flow is because God designed us with this beautiful trait that only the human soul has, and that is the trait of being able to determine for yourself what you desire to feel. In other words, free will. [00:11:02.04]

That's what free will is - the ability to determine what you are going to feel. That's free will. Now many of you probably haven't thought of free will that way. You thought of it like the ability to do whatever you want or whatever you desire. But it's also the ability to determine everything you feel for yourself, to determine what you want to feel. That is free will. And when I say feel - emotionally experience. The ability for you to determine what you're going to emotionally experience is a part of free will, the gift of free will that God gave you.

The main reason why many of us are not connecting with God, is because we are determining what we want to feel that's out of harmony with what God would prefer for us to feel, in order to have a connection with God. So it's actually our desire to, in most cases, suppress our emotions that causes us to not have a connection with God. And then we throw up our hands and say. "Oh a connection with God is too hard." But a connection with God isn't hard, what's hard is doing what you're currently doing, suppressing your emotions almost 100% of the time. That's hard. It requires a lot of effort. You get a lot of spirit influence in that place. It just is really; really difficult in that place if you choose to suppress your emotions, but that is an expression of your free will. And God gave you that gift.

2.2. Emotions are essential for every relationship

All of God's other Creations are feeling all of God's Emotions all the time. Now of course, creations here on Earth have a difficulty and that is they also feel all of humanity's emotions all the time. So all the animals and the birds and the other living creatures, even right down to the viruses, and everything, all feel our emotions as well as God's, and this is where a distortion occurs. This is where problems get injected into the environment, if you like, through our emotional condition. And very few of us, at this point, really understand how much our emotions affect absolutely everything around us - everything.

Without your emotions, you can't have a relationship with God, you can't have a relationship with yourself, and you can't have a relationship with any other person. You can't understand or have a relationship with anything in the universe that God has created because all of the things God has created in the universe are dependent upon you feeling something emotionally. You can't understand feelings, you can't understand the primary feeling that you're going to need to understand to grow and that is love, and so your definitions are going to be completely flawed right across the board.

2.3. Our perceptions of reality are distorted

This means that everything you look at, even the way you see it, is completely distorted. So for example, somebody gives you a gift, like us giving the gift of our sharing our time with you, and you come to expect it. You no longer see it as a gift; you see it as something you can demand. That is a distortion of the truth about that. We have these distortions that occur all the time and we are constantly engaged in these distortions with the way we perceive everything. Most of our perception has been totally controlled and manipulated by the filters that we have.

You can think of your brain like a great big processor, like a processor of information. Now I often think of the brain like a computer CPU, a central processing unit. It just sits there, our central processing unit, and what does the central processing unit of a computer do? It just gets information fed to it. And then of course it makes decisions based on the information fed to it. Now, with us, most of the information that gets fed to our intellectual mind at this point in time is totally manipulated and filtered through our emotional condition. So even our thoughts that we have are completely incorrect, in most cases, from a point of view of harmony with love. The things we think are loving, are not. We've got bad data in, you're only going to get bad data out, and bad decision making out of that. That's how it is. And that's the way we need to see it. [00:15:51.29]

Now instead of feeling all heavy about that, there is a very simple way that God made to make all this go away and very few of us are engaging it because we are still thinking that we're already engaging it when we're not. For example, many of us believe we have progressed when we have not; many of us believe we understand Divine Truth when we do not. The only way that you can progress and the only way that you can understand Divine Truth is by feeling some emotion. In fact becoming 100% feeling emotional being is the only way you're going to understand God's Truth.

That's why there's a limitation for people in the sixth sphere with regard to their progression intellectually - because they can't understand anything that God has made; they can't even live in God's Kingdom, the area above the eighth sphere or dimension, unless they make this transition into becoming a 100% emotional being; and most people who are listening to Divine Truth do not even understand that right now, even if they've been listening for six, seven or eight years. They don't understand that. They don't understand how important it is to become a 100% emotional being, to become 100% in that place, where you're always feeling, never thinking, always feeling. When I say never thinking, thoughts will come from the feelings, not the other way around.

At the moment what we have is an intellectually dominant life, and the majority of us still have that. We're completely dominated intellectually. Now we've talked in the past a lot about intellectual dominance, but many of you have not considered that your very way of existence with this intellectual dominance is completely out of harmony with the way God designed you to be. And many of you get complicated about that too. It's not even your fault that it's like that because, by the time most of you were three, four or five years of age, you were taught to think this way, to look at life this way, to see things this way, to hear things this way - everything was based through the emotional filters. But the key is how do we undo it. That is the key.

2.3.1. Emotions create thoughts

Participant: I don't really understand what you're saying about the thoughts will come from the feelings.

Perhaps we need to draw a little diagram just to help you with that. I've drawn this before many times, Phillippa, so you know you have your soul, your spirit body and your physical body. The physical body has a brain, which basically physiologically controls the body itself, and controls a lot of the essential processes in the body. The spirit body has a mind, where most of your life experience in your first incarnation \- in particular - is stored. So if you're in your first incarnation, the mind stores pretty much most of your experience, as does your soul. Remember there's a cord between each one of these parts, the soul, the spirit body, and the physical body, that feeds information from this part to that part.

Now, most of us were taught how to think by the way in which your parents think, and you were taught how to feel by the way in which your parents feel. And that being the case, that means that your mind has become the dominant thing in your life. Your parents taught you that your mind should be the dominant thing in your life. But what I'm saying to you is that is not true. What is really true is the so-called subconscious, which doesn't exist at all, but which is actually your soul, which stores all of your emotional experience, is dictating every thought that you have in your mind right now.

The mind, which is in the spirit body (SB) is controlled by emotions in the soul, which is often called the sub-conscious. The physical body (PB) contains the brain. The wavy lines indicate cords between the soul and the bodies.

So if I scratch my nose, and someone has taught you that scratching someone's nose means they're lying to you, you will have that thought based on the emotional experience. When the reality is my nose might be just itchy, and that might be the only reason why I'm scratching it.

We interpret so many things based on what we've been taught intellectually. So what's in our soul might be, "Don't trust anybody." So we may have a feeling of mistrust, and then we got taught intellectually by somebody that when a person scratches their nose, it means you can't trust them. Of course that enters you without any logic, because they could just be scratching their nose because it's itchy, but you think, "No, it means you can't trust them," because you've already got an emotion inside of you that's open to the thought that anything might be a sign that you can't trust somebody. So you then automatically become open to that new belief. So your emotions in your soul are determining what you even think, right now. Everything you do is determined by your soul's feelings, of which most of us are not conscious. That's why nowadays, a lot of times there's this reference to the subconscious. And what I'm saying is, "No, no, don't think there's a subconscious, there is just conscious and not conscious." (Laughs) Not conscious is you're denying the emotions you feel but these emotions are still having an input into your day-to-day life.

Emotions within our soul, that we are not conscious of, can cause us to mistrust others

So if you think of your brain like a microprocessor, a CPU, and you've got data in, the data coming in is flawed. Even the way you think is flawed. So, of course, the decisions you make, the things you do, if you could say the choices you make, or the decisions you make through your processing intellectually, are going to be flawed.

Yet you don't believe they're flawed. You think they're right. But from God's Perspective they're already flawed, because the data coming in is flawed. The data coming in comes from the soul and the soul's emotions have been flawed through a process that everyone on the planet has basically gone through and that is from the moment you incarnated, you've had imposed upon you the flawed emotions of your parents, and therefore the flawed experiences.

Now their interpretation of those things in the mind is going to be the natural result of whatever flawed reasoning you have in your soul. So what's going on in your mind, even right now is completely dependent on what's already been input into your soul, up until this point.

If you can see it that way, you can start to see that if you're going to change, what are you going to have to do? The real thing that most of us are trying to do is we are trying to change our mind. That's what most of us are trying to do. We are trying to go, "Oh I've got to do the loving thing here. What's the loving thing? I don't really know, but I think it's this one." There's our mind. See our soul - once we've released all these negative emotions - knows instantly what the loving thing to do is. You won't have to think about it, sit down and worry about it for days on end. You'll just do it because that's the power of your soul; your soul has the power to express itself emotionally all the time. That's where true progression comes from - our soul, not from the mind. [00:24:28.04]

2.3.2. Distorting the Divine Truth

What most of us have done when we've heard Divine Truth is swapped another way of thought for Divine Truth thinking. From God's Perspective there is no such thing as Divine Truth thinking. There is only Divine Truth feeling. But we've just swapped one method of thinking for another way of thinking. In other words, we're listening to Divine Truth terminology, but it's just really a thought. It's just really another "faith" of some kind that is intellectually based. It's not even true faith, because all true faith is based on the soul.

So what we've done is we've gone along with this and we've said, "Right, okay, I've heard all this stuff. It sounds good to me." And to be honest with you, if you think back over the five or six years that you might have heard it, for many of you it hasn't always sounded good to you, either, if we're honest. But we go, "Sounds good to me, I'll try and do that." But all we're doing is using our mind to attempt something that only, from the way God designed it, can occur in our soul, in our emotional state. This is why many of us are not successful. We're not successful because the actual soul transformation doesn't occur. It's just a changing of our minds that has occurred.

2.3.3. The mind is subservient to the soul

So the biggest problem that we face really is this constant idea that has been drummed into us by our environment that the mind is supreme. You even have religious practices today that are all based around the mind being supreme. Every time we talk about emotions with members of the media, they get freaked out. Honestly people are so afraid of emotions that they don't even want the media to talk about emotions. They worry that somehow you can be emotionally manipulated.

The only time you can be manipulated is when your emotions are out of harmony with what's in your mind. That's the only time you can be manipulated. Now unfortunately for the majority of us, that's all the time. (Laughs) So we can be manipulated all the time because our emotions are completely out of harmony with what's in our mind. We think one way while at the same time feeling almost completely the opposite emotion.

3. The "Way" involves engaging our soul and God emotionally

Now, I first feel that what we need to do is understand the importance of emotions, and what is going to happen to you in your future if you engage the Divine Truth in the way God intended you to, which is the "Way." So if we can call it the "Way", rather than Divine Truth, the "Way" is basically the soul engaging emotionally. With one addition - engaging emotionally with God. Now most people have huge difficulties even engaging emotionally, let alone engaging emotionally with God, someone who they don't, half the time, believe exists, or that they've got a huge amount of emotions about that are negative. But the "Way" is basically emotionally engaging this loving process with God. Not intellectually engaging it, in fact intellectually engaging it is going to be pretty much impossible. God's designed it to be impossible, because your very soul is not intellectual in its nature and that's why it's impossible.

The "Way" involves engaging the soul, not the mind

God wants to connect with your soul, not with your mind. God wants to connect with your feelings, your real feelings. So this is where we have to start asking ourselves what are our real feelings. What are our real feelings? And we need to be honest about our real feelings if we're ever going to make any progress in the "Way" to God. Most of us are not honest about our real feelings. Honesty may happen occasionally in the course of a day, but the rest of the time we're in total denial of our real feelings most of the time, and that's a problem right that we need to sort out somehow. [00:29:39.17]

Now the first way you sort it out is by changing your belief systems. Now belief systems can't really change without the soul being engaged, that's sort of the problem, it's like a catch-22. How do I change belief systems that my soul is not engaged to change? That is our primary problem. Are there any questions so far about that?

3.1. An example of a participant with rage towards her mother

Participant: I've definitely been one of those people who've used my intellect to control my emotions. What I see for myself and a lot of people attempting the "Way", is we think we're feeling, and I cry, and I think that I'm doing something. I had an experience only a few days ago with a psychologist who does a particular type of emotional psychology, and I said, "Wasn't that sadness?" And she goes, "No that's anxiety because you don't want to feel what's underneath that." It was a revelation and it got down to the point where I had to admit and feel that I had murderous rage towards my mother and I actually went through a process of what I would really want to do to her ...

... if you could.

Participant: ... if I could get away with it. Even after that process, her standing in front of me afterwards, I couldn't look her in the eye. And she said that you've had that rage since you were a tiny child, and you've judged yourself that you've wanted to murder your mother.

Or your mother judges that emotion, too, of course. So that's where your judgment came from.

Participant: Okay. So are you saying that she potentially could have had that rage towards her mother as well?

No, I'm saying that she did things to you that created the feeling of rage within you that you couldn't express, and that she didn't want you to express. The problem is not that you had the feeling, the problem is you weren't allowed to express it. The problem with not expressing a feeling is that it gets locked up within you and guides the rest of your life. That's how the unhealed emotions in your soul govern what you think. And to go one step even further, you've preferred to not even think that you've got that emotion for most of your life because that's what your mom wants you to think. So even the desire to avoid the very thought is driven by her desire emotionally.

Participant: So linking that with spirits, ever since then I've been not sleeping and feeling really quite attacked. Is that because I'm going through a process of initially stepping out ...

Correct.

Participant: ... against that belief?

Yes, as soon as you've ...

Participant: ... and it will feel really uncomfortable when you're confronting those beliefs?

It will, but even the thought that it's uncomfortable is actually something that's out of harmony with the way God designed you to think. The reality is emotions, from God's Perspective, are not uncomfortable. They are just feelings. God doesn't see any of them as uncomfortable. Do you understand?

Participant: I think I do because it's different. Like I've never felt rage in my body before ...

Correct.

Participant: ... it was a different experience.

And you're afraid of experiencing it, and that's what creates the feeling that it's an uncomfortable emotion. And the fear itself has been created because every time you've experienced such rage in your childhood, you were suppressed in some way or love was withdrawn in some way, and so you weren't allowed to feel it. So even the very way you process anger is distorted by a whole heap of belief systems that your environment imposed upon you. And because of that, we invest in the emotion. Do you understand what I mean by that? What we do is, "Oh, this emotion is terrible, it's so big, it's so terrible, it's so shocking, it's like a monster, and it's really, really bad," and you want to talk about it with everybody and share it with everybody and how bad it is, and isn't it terrible that we've got to go through these things, and that's what I call an investment in an emotion. When we allow emotions, we don't invest in emotion. [00:34:24.24]

Participant: So we're not going to be sharing all that with other people and wanting to draw them in to that.

Correct, you'll want to just feel it and get it out of you. That's all you'll want to do.

Participant: And still talk to God through that process?

Of course. You'll need God's help through that process sometimes, but the reality is you can do that even without God's help. You can process emotionally that deep without God's help. It's a bit more painful, of course, but you can do it, but the reality is that's the way God designed us to be anyway. Whether we eventually want God or not, at some point in our future we're going to have to connect to these emotions, to connect to the reality of what we really feel.

Now, of course, your mother doesn't want you to do that in her current state. She's never wanted you to do that, from the time you were little, which is the reason why the entire emotion is locked up in the first place, and the spirits around you are the same kind of people like your mother, so of course they don't want you to do it either; and then of course you're afraid of doing it, which means that all they've got to do is put a bit of pressure on you to stop doing it, and you'll go, "Okay, I'll stop doing it. It's all too uncomfortable anyway."

That's why we get the spirit pressure to change our behaviour back to the original status quo. In other words the spirits around us want us to meet their addictions the way we currently do. They want us to live our life the way we currently do. They don't want us to change because if we change then they won't have their addictions met through us. So of course they're going to try to impose some of their rage upon us, which means we get quite frightened when we are actually making some change.

Participant: So I'd need to look at my addictions with that wouldn't I? Because I'm just becoming aware of how much I don't want to feel my whole life.

To be frank, most people don't want to feel. In fact, if you had a percentage of the entire population; you could almost say 100%, bar a few people, don't want to feel. (Laughs) That is the normal state of humanity at this point in time.

3.2. Being honest about what we are feeling

Mary: Can I go back to what you said in the beginning of your story, Vanessa, where you said that the lady who was with you pointed out to you that the feeling that you were feeling wasn't sadness, it was fear and I see a lot of people, because they don't want to get real about what their emotions are - because they have these beliefs and investments - just really taking the approach of going, "Crying equals grief, shaking equals fear, yelling equals anger." That's not my experience of processing. I can cry in rage, fear, and grief, and it's possible to cry in self-punishment, and distraction and having a tantrum, and wanting to just feel like "poor me". And none of those latter things are even helping my soul ...

They're not even feelings.

Mary: They're not connecting with the truth of what is emotionally inside of me. Recently I've had discussions with people who are saying, "Well I feel like I'm angry, and I went and bashed a pillow, but then I started crying, and that's just me skipping to the grief, isn't it?"

No.

Participant: I wasn't crying from grief. I just wanted her to stop pushing me to feel.

Correct.

Participant: I was just like, go, just leave me alone, this is too uncomfortable you're pressing too many buttons ...

Mary: Exactly. But the point I'm trying to make is that it requires a level of honesty from within us to identify that. To say when I'm crying all of a sudden, I don't even want to feel what that's about if I'm saying, "Oh I'm just in grief." When we really want to connect to our soul and feel our feelings, it's not a mystery what we're feeling, like, "Tears means grief." We're saying, "Wow ..."

We know what we're feeling about.

3.3. Negative emotions are not a part of our identity and can only be released by feeling

Mary: "Actually I'm crying because I'm terrified." It was wonderful that someone could help you make that little light bulb moment of going, "Just because I'm crying, it doesn't mean whatever." She could say, "It's fear that I'm feeling from you," and that helps you go, "Yeah, I can get more real about what's going on for me emotionally." I see a lot of people avoiding that because they're afraid of feeling and because they have these false belief systems about what it means to feel - investing in the emotion. Or a common issue I've had is identifying with it, saying, "If I'm angry, that means I'm bad and nasty and forever."

Participant: You mean judging?

Correct.

Mary: I'm making it a part of my identity. I say, "Yeah, that means if I have anger, I am this person,"

Participant: "I am the mud."

Mary: Yeah. Exactly.

Correct, rather than the mud just being something you can wash off. Emotion is the way in which you wash your mud off, not by thinking. You don't do it by thinking, you do it by feeling. Emotion is also the way you accept new truth. So you don't do that by thinking either, you do that by feeling.

So, in fact, the way God designed your soul is that pretty much every single physiological, spiritual, emotional and sexual thing that goes on inside of your soul is completely based around feelings and emotions. Everything. So God designed you in such a way, that when you begin to use your intellect in a dominant manner, that actually all of your processing of different feelings is going to be flawed. It is a purposeful design. [00:40:11.25]

We go, "Isn't this terrible that we've got to feel an emotion." And God's going, "No it's not terrible, it's really good that you've got to feel an emotion." You say, "No it's not. It's really bad. I don't want to feel this emotion." And God's saying, "You need to feel this emotion. Get it out of you, let it go. Let it pass through you, let your self experience it." In the moment, you'll feel like the person who's in a rage; you'll feel like it's your rage. But if you fully experience it, it will pass through you and after the experience is finished you won't feel the rage anymore. But we don't believe that. We believe the emotion is going to make us a permanent rageful being, or permanent murderer, or permanent shameful person, or a permanent crier all the time; the things we hate from our emotional experience in our childhood. We're worried that our emotions are going to make us that permanently. It's impossible. You will become a 100% emotional being where you let every emotion flow as it occurs. When you do that, there is no possibility of any emotion being stored in you.

3.4. Being honest about what we are feeling (continued)

Participant: I've had a lot of resistance to crying even though my maternal grandmother was overly emotional, and she used to cry, "Oh do you love me? I just need my family to love me."

That's a drama queen, that's not crying.

Participant: Yeah, but what I'm just learning is that that is the addiction. That's me not having the tantrum, "I want this from you, and I'm not getting it." So I've been judging crying and emotions for so long because I didn't want to be that person.

Yeah, God doesn't want you to be a drama queen. God just wants you to allow all the emotions that are there to flow through as they are. Now when your mom or your grandma is going, "Oh do you love me? You don't love me," crying, she's not expressing her true feelings, which are that she feels no one loves her. She wants you to love her, so it's just a demand coming out of her, and she's learned to be emotionally manipulative by crying it. That means that everyone goes, "Oh, isn't that terrible, yes we love you," and she gets some of that emotion satisfied. But it is all fake. At the end of the day she's not feeling the emotion that's going to cure her, which is feeling that nobody cares about her, and which comes from her childhood, of course.

So this is our problem - we can go through emotions but it doesn't mean that we're making any changes at all. We've got to be real about what they are. We've got to actually feel the actual one, the real emotions, not the ones that are the facade. The facade is just a figment of our and our environment's creation. And this is what we do; we often live in it for the rest of our existence.

Even right to the time we hit the spirit world, we're still living in it, and then you get to the spirit world and you look at your body and you say, "Yeah, gee whiz, it's looking pretty bad, maybe there's something wrong with me." Now that you can see it, you start feeling there might be. But before then, even though we're getting old and decrepit and our hair's falling out and we're getting wrinkled up and we're getting diseases and sicknesses - we still don't think it's something that we've done. We don't see it as something that's out of harmony with love that exists within us. We see it as something external, as always, because that's what our environment taught us to see. [00:43:41.04]

You think of the average person on the planet when there's a grasshopper plague, what do they blame? They don't see it as their soul created it. They don't see it as their choices with regard to the food habits, and their choices with regard to how they develop food production is all contributing to that plague. They don't see any of those things. They just go, "It's terrible, the plague, isn't it terrible." It's one of these "acts of God" that we blame. As if it's an act of God \- no, God doesn't create such acts. We need to start seeing things very differently if we are going to progress, that's the reality.

3.5. Being emotional is essential for progression

I just want to make the comment that if we can just remember this one statement: that the way we do everything currently is completely in disharmony to the way God designed us to be. This is why we have so much pain; this is why we have so much suffering. Because the way that we live and the way even that we think is completely out of harmony with the way God designed us to be, and we need to bear that in mind.

So every time you want to think you've progressed, and you haven't progressed, that's just a thought. It doesn't mean anything. Thoughts can also come and go, but unfortunately for most of us, we don't get rid of the reasons why they come and go, which are all to do with the emotions we're still holding on to.

I can't highlight enough how essential it is that we understand, that we get this very basic understanding about emotion, that without it, progression is impossible. And it's not a process that you're going to go through, and we'll talk about this now - how we currently see our emotions. What we want to do is compare how we currently see our emotions with how God sees emotion. And once you see the comparison, you'll start understanding where you have engaged the world's viewpoint of emotion and where that needs to change.

3.6. An example of a participant who wishes to avoid emotion and emotional stimuli

Participant: When I start watching movies now, even a light comedy, with the way that the women treat the men, I don't want to watch the film. If it's too violent, I feel the violence in my heart. David Attenborough documentaries, killer whales chasing seals - everything's too violent. I normally walk away or I switch a film off if I have a view I can't watch this film. But I feel like if I sat and I was emotionally open to just how violent everyone is to each other in nature then I wouldn't be able to ... like that's my fear of how would I live and engage and watch a movie. My entertainment is gone, I don't like going to the movies. I can't listen to music, like the women singing sounds like she's angry. Everything's getting distorted.

Yeah. Well, can I point out though, the way you're seeing this you're investing in your emotion. You're basically thinking that if you feel about how the violence of the world, that in the end you'll believe the whole world is violent. You're already living in it anyway. The reality is the world's violence is not going to change because you see it. You either choose not to see it, and you do choose at this point in time to not see things, so that you don't feel. So if you chose differently, if you chose to feel what you see, you have a chance to heal, to heal inside of yourself. [00:47:48.27]

Participant: So that would be the experiment of going, "All right Laura, this is now all coming at me." It's just been the past maybe two weeks that it's amped up, and just going, "All right, it is bad, and if every movie, every music, every word that's spoken ..."

The world's a lot worse than you think it is currently. Yes.

Participant: Yeah. And these aren't bad movies, like I'm not watching bad horror; I'm just watching normal TV or normal documentaries or something.

Yes. It's like horror movie right there on my TV and it turns out being the 6 o'clock news.

Participant: There are all the little judgments that you're just talking about that make us enter the thought of why we can't feel because then we're going to be emotionally unsocial, like unsociable, or we'll be ...

Yeah, see all you're doing is you're again making some flawed intellectual choices. You believe that feeling the emotion that the world is violent is going to somehow mean that you're just going to be stressed out about living in a violent world for the rest of your life. That's not true, but that's what you believe; that's what you've even been taught to believe. So your way of addressing emotion is basically ignore it.

Participant: Yeah walk away.

Yeah. Ignore it, make it go away. Get out of it somehow. That is again the flawed way in which your mother, in particular, deals with emotion. And your dad too, if you think about it - he does the same.

Participant: Dad walks away, yeah.

He walks away even more than your mom does, because she'll have a good fight first. This is an indication that you've just taken on even a flawed way of handling your emotion. This is the key thing with regard to our emotion. But all you're basically doing is saying, "If I avoid the situation, it goes away." And it doesn't. In fact any situation you generally avoid gets worse.

Participant: That's actually a beautiful opportunity because I just don't even have to get out of my own house. It's music, and it's an opportunity to feel how violent we all are to each other.

Yeah. And once we feel through that, the feelings in our childhood of violence that occurred to us will release and then you'll see some beauty in the world after that. And if you don't see it in the world, you'll at least have it in you.

Participant: And have faith in that.

And then the rest of the world will see it.

Participant: And that faith that can only come through going through the process.

Correct. And most of us feel like we don't want to go through the process so we don't. So we never make any changes. And then we're five years down the track after hearing Divine Truth, we look back at it all and we go, "Oh, yeah I don't know how we're doing really. I don't think we're doing any good. I know I haven't changed much, but I don't know what I can do about that." And then after a while, after you start feeling that, you feel, "Oh, it's all pointless anyway." This is why a lot of people finish up leaving what they thought initially was the truth. They leave it because they haven't done any emotional change. Yeah.

Okay. So how are we going so far?

Participant: You're rocking my world a little bit.

I'm rocking your world a little bit. (Laughs) Yeah. Well we need to start seeing the importance of becoming an emotional person. Most of us don't see it like that, and this is what we'd like to talk about with you now; how we actually see it now. How we view emotions now, and I think when we discuss this section with you, you'll connect with this as how most of you feel about emotion. And even these feelings that we're going to discuss with you about emotion are an indication about how much our whole concept of emotion has been distorted, and how much it's interfering with our progress towards God.

4. How most currently see emotions

This is about how we see emotion. If we just have this as a bit of a preamble first: if you consider that all the stuff I've taught you about Divine Truth, I've taught you a lot about emotion, about the necessity of getting into it and the necessity of processing and so forth. Now in the process of that, the majority of you now have a belief about emotion which is false; and that is you see emotion as the process, and you see being without emotion as the end goal. So the first thing I'd like to raise with you is seeing emotion as a process. [00:54:32.21]

4.1. Seeing emotion as a process

When we see emotion as a process, we're seeing it as something we've got to do in order to get somewhere else. So if I can liken it to travelling to a city, like here in New South Wales, the capital city is Sydney, and if I'm travelling here from near Armidale to Sydney, I've got to follow a process to get there. Usually there will be a vehicle that I get in of some kind, so I've got to get in the vehicle; I've got to have fuel in the vehicle; I've got to have some money to buy the fuel. So all of these things are all part of the process of me getting this car ready. And once the car is ready to travel the five hundred kilometres from here to Sydney, then I'll get there in the end, as long as I follow that process.

That's how you see emotion at the moment - the same way. You see emotion as the process to a destination. A process you've got to follow to get to the destination and what I'm saying to you is emotion is the destination. So instead of seeing emotion as a process, what we need to see emotion as is the destination; it's where we're going to be in the end.

But we don't see it that way. We see emotion as a process to reach a destination that we have no idea what it is, at this point, because we're just guessing, because you've never been there before. It's like you've never been to Sydney before, so you don't know what it really is like, but you might have seen a few pictures before. You followed a process to get there: getting in the car, paying for fuel, driving the five hundred kilometres, or whatever it is, to Sydney. For all those kind of things you've done, that's following the process and you've got to your destination.

Now I'm saying, no, emotion is your destination.

So what's the process you've got to get to, to get to that? That's called the "Way".

Mary: I see a lot of us accustomed now to this teaching, "There was stuff suppressed in my childhood. I've just got to get it out of me, and then I'll be good. I'll be fine." The truth is really, what we want to teach everyone, is that that happened, absolutely, but the way to get it out of you is to change you state back into the way that God created you to be. So in your childhood your natural state was suppressed, and your natural state is emotional. So embracing the "Way" means embracing your natural state again and in that process, all of the backlog of unfelt emotions will come out of you.

Mary: But also, all of your emotions about right now will happen, and all of your future passions and dreams - that will all be emotional and you'll live the rest of your life in this very emotional, beautiful state.

Mary: So I see a lot of people saying, "Right, I've just got to get rid of the backlog, and then it will be just like all Zen, everything's just going to be groovy." But the truth is, this is where I feel, and I might be jumping ahead, the Law of Attraction really comes into its own. The reason God created the Law of Attraction is so that if we are able to respond emotionally to what comes towards us, naturally the emotions of the past will be released.

Mary: But the way I see everyone engaging where they see emotions as a process, and they're still very mind dominant, is analysing what comes towards them through the Law of Attraction, based on the belief systems that are acceptable to them from their childhood experience, and the emotions they think they're allowed to have, based on the beliefs from their childhood experience. They go, "Okay, that happened, that was with a guy, it was probably about my dad, what am I comfortable thinking about my dad, or feeling about my dad, yeah, I think that was an attraction event based on that." You can see how you haven't even engaged emotionally with the attraction. This is why Jesus is always so passionately, beautifully saying, "If that happens, go and feel about it. If that happens, go and punch a bag until you feel something else." Don't sit and try to analyse it.

4.1.1. Being emotional is the destination

Can you see what we're saying about the destination versus the process? If you examine how you've considered emotion at this point, for the majority of you can see that you've viewed it as a process to reach another destination. You don't see it as a way to become a completely 100% emotional being. Because you sort of don't see that that is what it means to be at-one with yourself, to actually be 100% emotional being, you will become at-one with yourself. Not at-one with God. To become an emotional being at-one with God, you need to have all of God's emotions within you about a subject. That is obviously an additional process to this but both are necessary with regard to your progress. [01:00:21.24]

Participant: So can I just clarify, I think that's what the mind wants to do. You have to feel your anger, feel the addictions, and then you get to the causal grief and then you'll be more loving, and it's like this; the process is to get to the end destination.

Yeah, so, the question then becomes why did I explain that process to you?

Participant: Because it is the truth and it is a process that we'll have to go through.

Correct, but have I ever said to you, you should go through that with your mind.

Participant: No.

No. What I've said each time is a feeling is above a feeling is above a feeling. Isn't that what I've said?

Participant: Yes.

So once you learn how to feel any feeling, can you see you'll have no problem with the process?

Participant: I guess what I'm asking is the end destination isn't to be even more loving or at-one with God, but it's to be an emotional being, where you're just being. Is that what you're saying?

No to me the end destination is to be an emotional being that is completely at-one with God. So I'd add the additional "that is completely at-one with God." That's my destination; it doesn't have to be yours. You've got free will.

Participant: So when you say the destination is to be an emotional being, you're not saying that's there's always going to be emotions.

No, there is always going to be emotions. Always. If you're at-one with God, there is not a single moment in your day where you don't feel something.

Participant: But they're just good emotions? (Laughter)

Well of course - you're at-one with God. But if you have not learned how to feel, you wouldn't be believing they're all good emotions. To be honest with you, for many of you right now, if we got you and we shoved you in the Celestial kingdom, you'd be bawling your eyes out most of the time and feeling it's very traumatic to live there.

Mary: Which is why God creates places where you feel more comfortable.

The lower spheres are where you'll feel more comfortable. Because you're used to suppressing emotion, no one in the Celestial spheres wants to suppress a single emotion. Ask Mary what it's like living with me, and I still suppress emotion. You imagine what it's like living with a person 100% of the day, where they don't suppress any emotion. None of you really even have a concept of what that's like, to even live with such a person. But that's why most of you would be in intense pain living in the Celestial spirit world at this point because the emotion coming from everywhere around you tells you to feel everything, and you don't want to feel everything. [01:02:53.15]

4.1.2. Our choices determine when we will feel

Participant: And that's why the Law of Attraction is giving us the opportunities now that are within a loving ... it's loving for us to be experiencing what we're experiencing, because this is what we're ready for.

This is what we've chosen. You keep using terms "ready", Laura, it's not "ready". It's chosen. See "ready" is a way of thinking that says, "Oh, something external to myself makes me ready." In other words, it's a way of blaming something else on your own use of your will. The reality is you chose to deny. That's a choice. That's an exercise of your will. It's very, very different once you start understanding this. Every time you use the word "ready", you're basically saying that you're not responsible for making a different choice. You will become ready through some external event occurring, during which will actually cause you to be ready. No. You are ready right now as long as you make the choice.

Most of us don't make the choice and that's why we think we're not ready. Most of us are going, "I don't want ..." and then we say, "I'm not ready to cry about that yet." No, you don't want to cry about that yet. See it is a choice. (Laughter) You don't want to cry about it.

With the earlier example you gave, with your mother, you don't want to feel the rage with your mother. It's a choice made. It's not that you're not ready to feel it, it's been there ever since you've been a child, one to three years old, getting suppressed all the time. There's been so much built up rage in you, you'd love to get rid of it - at some level, the child would have loved to get rid of it. But now you're making a different choice. You don't see it as a choice.

Mary: And it's a symptom of fear to want to deny our choices, to say that we don't have a choice. Fear likes us to say, "Oh no, it's too hard, you can't."

I'm not ready.

Mary: "You're not ready." But really that's just a product of fear.

Participant: God gives you what you're ready for though.

Yeah.

Participant: You only get what you're ready for.

Yeah. Well that's a lot of crap. It's a lot of New Age mumbo jumbo to be honest. It is. You get what you desire; you get what your will expresses.

Mary: Every one of God's Laws interacts with your will. So, yeah. God wants us to understand the gift of free will in every way, and so, when our will alters even slightly, God's got a law ready to interact with us in a new way. So that's why the Law of Attraction brings us new types of events suddenly, because God can feel, "Oh, there's something changed in the will, and so I've created a law that's going to help you with that right now."

Yeah, everything's custom made with God.

Mary: Awesome design.

4.2. Symptoms of viewing emotion as a process

I wanted to flesh this out a bit more.

Mary: Yeah some of the symptoms of things that happen when we view emotion as a process.

4.2.1. Viewing emotion is a chore, duty or temporary state

So what are some of the symptoms, do you think, of seeing emotion as a process? It's a chore, rather than a desire.

Mary: A duty rather than a desire as well.

It's a duty not a longing, yeah. What else?

Participant: It's temporary.

Seeing an emotion as a process, yes.

Participant: Like you only have to do it for a little while, and then ...

Yes, so you feel it's temporary, rather than a permanent condition. Yeah. Very true. Anything else you can think of?

4.2.2. Viewing emotion as a concept rather than an experience

Mary: What about if you use the analogy of driving to Sydney again, if you've never been there? Say you've never even driven a car, and someone says, now you've got to get in the car and drive to Sydney, what might you want someone to give you?

Participant: Get directions and help, and tell me everything they know about it first, so that I can be prepared.

Mary: And give me an instruction manual and break it down bit by bit.

Participant: And where will I go through? What are the towns I'm looking for?

Mary: Yeah.

Participant: Did I get it right? Have taken the wrong way?

Mary: Exactly.

Participant: Which way is the best way to go? Which way do you think? Should I go every way?

Do you notice all the questions you asked me, aren't they pretty much all of those kinds of questions?

Participant: Yes, all the time. I'm not finding out for myself.

Yeah. How do you find out for yourself?

Participant: I've got to feel it.

No.

Participant: I've got to go there.

You've got to go there. (Laughter) That's how you do it.

Mary: Be present while you go there.

You go through the experience. So one is a list of instructions, or concepts or ideas...

Participant: And the other is my personal experience.

... rather than experience. This is why hardly any of you know how to apply love in any situation. Did you know that? We see you constantly being unloving, even sometimes directly after you've heard in a session like this what love is all about; you are unloving, straight afterwards, while we're still here. That very frequently occurs. And that's because all I'm doing is presenting concepts to you. That's all I can do. I can't make you have the experience because the experience is your personal experience.

You've got to go through the experience. When you go through the experience, it will no longer be just a bunch of concepts that you sometimes know how to use and sometimes don't, and sometimes get mixed up. It'll be a very firm experience in that you'll know when you're being unloving, and you'll know what it feels like; and you know when you're in addiction and you know what that feels like; and you know when you're trying to hurt somebody else and you know what that feels like. It won't be just something you guess about anymore. [01:09:24.26]

4.2.3. Taking action rather than repenting

Participant: This is why it's so important that when I have a tendency to do something unloving, I go into fear and try to fix it, and take this big action whereas if I actually just felt how horrible that felt, I'd probably be less likely to do it again, because I know it feels terrible.

Correct.

Mary: And also you'd naturally be drawn to correct it in a way that's loving, rather than based on fear of making a mistake or wanting to appear good to others still. If you really let yourself feel after you've done something, you'd go, "Oh that felt bad, I don't think that was loving on my behalf," and let yourself really go into that emotionally, then you naturally then start to see, "Oh I know the best way to correct this" because you see more truth about yourself, and the situation.

Participant: Often you just create another terrible situation.

Of course, because the very way you think is already flawed and all the emotion is still there that governed the way you think and of course you're going to take an action based on the way you think that is all flawed and it's all going to create another flawed response, and another one and another one; and lo and behold it does. And after twenty years then we go, "This isn't working. AJ is doing something wrong with teaching us what we're teaching." That's what we do. We even blame the source of the information rather than go, "Actually I don't feel love yet, otherwise if I felt love I'd know what to do here." [01:10:53.05]

4.2.4. An illustration of feeling afraid of losing things

Mary: AJ and I had a beautiful conversation a couple months ago. We were discussing fear, and I was quite in a stuck place. And I just adore my man's honesty because he said to me, "Look, what are you afraid of ... losing your friends, being ridiculed, being out of control, not having a relationship with me ... honey, you've lost them all already. It's already happened." (Laughter) "Stop living in fear about what's going to happen, because it's already happened."

Because Mary was saying to me, "I don't know if I want to feel that because if I feel that, you might not like me anymore, and you might leave." And I said, "We don't have a relationship anyway, right as it is. I'm not getting the real you, so we don't have one anyway. We've already lost the relationship. So why are you worried about losing something you've already lost?"

Mary: It's not even there in the first place. A lot of people get anxious, and come and ask me, "What's the most loving thing to do in this situation? How can I be loving in this situation?" And lately I feel like saying, "It's already happened, you're not loving. Now we've got to work from this point, and start feeling so that we can really know what love is." Again it's a product of fear that tells us I've got to safeguard against possible unloving, unhappy things happening and yet we're not often facing the truth that it's already like that. We can connect to that and move on from there but that's the only way we're going to move on from there.

If we look at things realistically, many of us are afraid of losing our families. But the majority of us lost our families when we were three. Many of us have not had a sincere interaction with our families since then, so we've already lost them. How can you think you're losing something that you've already lost? There's already some kind of malfunction in the CPU to think that. And if many of us look at most of our life, that's what it's like.

Many of us are worried about losing the relationship we're currently in, isn't that not true? You're worried about who your soulmate is, that it might not be the person you're with. The reality is most of you don't have a relationship with the person you're with - you have a bartering system with the person you're with, and to be frank, you need to lose that if you're ever going to be happy. It's going to have to go.

So we often fool ourselves into thinking we have something, and sometimes we even say to ourselves things like, "Something's better than nothing," which is a very sad way of thinking I feel and I can't agree with that. If that something is very bad, it's angry, sad, and all these other things, it's not better than nothing. You're better off having nothing than that but God's offered you this concept that you're actually able to have happiness, which is more than that, as well. And we often just justify something is better that nothing as a justification. It's not a very clever or logical justification as a reason for choosing to not feel an emotion. [01:14:13.17]

Mary: Yeah. It's like you can't hold two things at once in the same hand. If you've got a bad situation and you're holding on hoping, if I do this other thing then I'll get approval, without feeling it and being willing to let it go, you don't make any space for the good thing to come.

And you know that from a theoretical idea, but most of us aren't doing that in practice, we just hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on! (Laughing) And it just gets worse and worse and eventually we go, "I can't hold on any more." You should have just given up holding on twenty years ago. You would not have lost twenty years holding on.

4.2.5. Hoping rather than accepting reality

This is what we also do - we put off things, we hope, in this place, we hope - rather than feeling reality. Do you know what I mean by that? Like we live in our hope, rather than just accepting reality. These are all the results of seeing emotion as a process.

Participant: I think I've just experienced that this morning.

Have you? How?

Participant: I've realized that, well to a degree both of us have, that maybe I'm not a gay soul. I've been hanging on to this thread that maybe it's not true. Maybe it's not true. And that if I don't let myself accept that, then I don't have to feel everything else that's out there coming at me.

Yeah.

Participant: Because I am a gay soul. And I realized that means, because I'm hanging on to that hope, none of my relationships are real. Not with myself, not with Kerry, not with God, not with any other person that I ever meet.

Now can even make it worse for you? Can I even make it worse for you? You might go through this feeling and realize you're not a gay soul. (Laughs)

Participant: That too.

That's how amazing our emotions are. When we let ourselves feel them, we can go through feelings that we 100% feel at the time, but because we pass through the emotion, in the end we come to the truth. And we need to allow this process to occur.

So yes it's a sad thing that you've been hoping that you're not something. But that's a terrible thing, no matter what it is. If I'm hoping I'm heterosexual, when I'm not, or if I'm hoping that I'm gay when I'm not. Either way, it's just holding on to something. When we see emotion as a process, that's what we do. We hold on to concepts, we prevent the emotion from flowing.

Participant: Yeah, and that's what I realized this morning.

Yeah. It's a good realization.

4.2.6. Being afraid to be wrong

Is there anything else that you can think of as the results of seeing emotions as a process?

Participant: What I see now is that's highlighting a block for me, is all of this, because I have this thing about "What if I'm wrong?" And hearing that everything is wrong, everything I think is wrong, everything is wrong, it's like, well I don't want to see how wrong I've been. It's a mess because if I was wrong, I was punished. I had to be right.

Yeah and God doesn't punish you for being wrong. That's the other thing of course. But we don't even realize that until we go through that feeling. [01:18:04.00]

Mary: Eloisa and I had a good discussion the other day where she was saying, "I'm so afraid that what I'm feeling might be spirits' feelings, and I've got to feel my feelings, and ..." She was really, really panicking and I said to her, "Just feel now, and if it's spirits' feelings, that's the only way you're going to know. You're going to discover the truth by just letting yourself feel, and then you'll have learned something about what it feels like to feel spirits' emotions versus your own." But there's a huge fear on the planet of, "Oh, what if I get it wrong? What's going to happen to me?" And actually, God designed this awesome experiment which means that, yeah, you're going to get it wrong before you get it right probably.

And I don't even think it's God's experiment. God doesn't experiment with us.

Mary: No, sorry, I shouldn't say that.

We're the ones that experiment with God's Reality.

Mary: It's an experiment for us. Yes.

From God's Perspective, this is the reality of your future existence. And yes, what you're saying is very true, most of us are so worried about getting something wrong that we're not prepared to feel anything. We're not prepared to feel anything because we are worried that even the feeling might be wrong.

Participant: And that our whole life has been wrong. And what's the point because it's just been a waste of time.

4.2.7. Feeling that life is pointless

Yeah well, to be honest with you, yes. For the majority of us our whole life has been wrong and what has been the point, yes, I agree, there's been no point.

Mary: But avoiding that feeling doesn't help us get to a life that is a point.

Participant: Yes, just want to avoid it forever, sort of thing.

Yeah, and the reason why a lot of people commit suicide on this planet is because they do feel that their life has no point. To be frank, most of us on the planet need to feel that and most of us are suicidal most of the time because we do feel that as a feeling. We do need to feel that feeling that there is no point. The reality is from God's Perspective there is a point, but you're not going to feel that until you get rid of this feeling that there's no point.

Mary: You spoke very beautifully about this I think in the event that we had in Texas late last year, where you talked about addictions and why a lot of us feel like we don't want to break them is because actually underneath we feel like we're powerless and it's hopeless. This is very closely related to that feeling that there's just no point.

Yeah. So this is a part of us seeing emotion as a process, seeing it as a process rather than the destination. In other words if you're focused on emotions being the destination, can you see that it would change your concept of what you do every day? You wouldn't be trying to prevent emotions every day if you saw emotions as the destination; but seeing emotions as a process means that you're trying to use the process to reach a different destination.

This is where I feel many of us have made this mistake, once we start talking about emotion and we start seeing emotion as a process and then we're not seeing it how God sees it. Emotion is the way God created you to be. That's the expression of you. That's the expression of your experience. That's you having the experience. Without it, you can't live. Without it, you can't experience anything. Without it, you can't feel. Without it, you're not going to enjoy anything. Without this experience that's emotional. [01:21:25.07]

4.2.8. Wanting control rather than allowing

Participant: We also want safety and control in the process, wanting to know what's going to happen if we actually do move through it. So we're trying to control the whole event, so to speak.

Yeah, seeing emotion as a process causes us to try to control the emotion. You're trying to predict what the emotion will be.

Participant: What it's about.

Yeah, so you control rather than allow. That's what you do. As soon as you see it as a process, you will control it. You will try to manipulate it. You will try to trigger it.

4.3. "Processing" emotions and getting "triggered"

I constantly get people asking, "So do you go there to trigger the emotion?" "Go there to trigger the emotion"; some of this terminology bothers me. I know we use it, but some of the terminology bothers me because even the terminology is flawed. (Laughs) This whole concept of "triggering an emotion": no, you are an emotional being. If you're 100% emotional being, how do you trigger an emotion that's already being experienced? There's no such thing. So triggering an emotion is only a concept we have because we don't feel emotion. If we felt emotion all the time we wouldn't be using the word "trigger" an emotion because we'd be feeling it anyway. There's no need to trigger anything because you're already feeling it.

Even the way we see all the terminology bothers me a lot, as I've said to Mary many times. I sit down and I say, "Look, you know this whole 'emotional processing' word, what's that? I don't get that." It's a term that I use that has now been turned into something different. To me processing an emotion is feeling an emotion. It's not actually a process. Do you see the difference? Now it's come to mean a process. And I'm going, "It's not a process - it's feeling the emotion."

That's why lately I've been using the term "experience the emotion" rather than "process the emotion". It means the same thing really, at the end of the day, but the problem with using the term "process an emotion" is people then think that it's a process, and that's not what I'm trying to say at all. It's not a process, it's an experience, and this is the trouble with words.

4.4. Being emotional is the destination (continued)

This is why I used illustrations a lot in the first century, because the only way I could get to describe something to somebody was to do it in a picture. So you know the picture that I just gave you of destination versus getting to the destination; that's a picture that you formulated in your mind. I did that to try to help you understand that the destination is being an emotional being. That's the destination, being an emotional being who is also in harmony with love with the way God Loves. That's the end destination for me. And what I'm trying to say to you guys is, look, see that as the destination, don't see sort of zenned out and cool as the destination, and up until then it's an emotional process. The destination is, you will be a 100% emotional being, that's the destination. [01:25:26.11]

And the real question is how do you do that? How do you become this 100% emotional being? From being totally numbed out, zoned out, tuned out, rageful, angry, facade-y, to becoming that person, how does that happen? That's the real question. We'll cover some of the points about how we do that. But we first need to understand where we're headed. And I feel for many of us we haven't understood where we're headed. We've thought that being at-one with God is some kind of place that we believe is going to have some magical properties and one of the magical properties we feel it will have is that we won't have to experience any emotion.

Mary: All that traumatic stuff will be over. We won't have to solve any more.

You will experience emotion, you'll even cry for joy when you're at-one with God. You'll do it quite frequently, actually, and you'll be completely comfortable with it. You won't have to go to your next door neighbour and say, "Oh, I've had this terrible experience where I was just crying for joy." (Laughter) You won't even have to discuss it with anybody, it'll just happen.

The thing is we need to see that that is the destination, rather than imagining some other destination. The problem is that many people who have left the path of Divine Truth haven't seen this: the main reason why people leave the path of Divine Truth is they become exhausted, and the only reason why you ever become exhausted on this path is because you don't do it.

If you truly engage all of your emotions, which was the way God created you to naturally be, you're going to find it easier, not harder. If you're finding it harder, it means you're not doing it. It actually is a relief to do it. Your whole body feels relief, your soul feels relief. Everything feels relieved to do it, to actually connect emotionally and you don't care whether it's, what we classify as a "negative" emotion or a "positive" emotion. You just feel the emotion. That's what you do and when you do that it all passes through you and so you're left with a lot of energy; you're left with a lot of joy as a result.

If we have no joy it's because we're getting stuck in the process, we're not seeing the end goal; we're not seeing that this is about me learning to be an emotional being. Not only learning how to do it, but allowing my capacity to do it to continually expand for the rest of my existence.

Your capacity to experience emotion right now is very limited but what God's trying to help you do is become a person who experiences emotion 100% of the time. Once you get to that point, and if you've done this with God, you'll be at-one with God by that stage, that's only the start of the journey. The next part of the journey is learning how to expand the emotional abilities so that the power of the emotion becomes so intense that it affects everything around you, it affects everything inside of you, it determines what happens the rest of your life. You keep growing and expanding in your capacity to feel. That's what your soul growth is all about actually; growing and expanding in your capacity to feel.

If you receive Divine Love, your soul has the capacity to continue to infinitely grow in how you feel. If you do not receive Divine Love, your soul has a limited capacity to feel, but it still is about how you feel but it won't be as powerful as feeling when you're in this unlimited process and that's the primary difference between engaging your soul from a sort of a natural way, without God, and engaging your soul with God. The primary difference is the ability to grow infinitely, the ability to live in immortality compared to the ability to have a limited growth to the sixth dimension, and no immortality. And God's Love causes the difference between those two states.

But in the end you're still going to have to grow. You're still going to have to feel.

4.5. Symptoms of viewing emotion as a process (continued)

4.5.1. Viewing emotions as fear and pain rather than joy and freedom

Participant: Just another add to that. I feel it's going to be fearful and cause pain.

Okay. Fear and pain. How many of you feel that it's going to be fearful and cause pain when it comes to thinking an emotion? Rather than what?

Participant: Joy and freedom.

Joy and freedom.

Like I look at most people's lives who are feeling emotion as a process, and I go, "Wow you make it so complicated. Your whole lives are so complicated, honestly." What I would think is a simple thing to make a choice or decision about, many of you worry about it for days or weeks or months or years and some of you don't even make the decision. I've seen some of you waiting to make a decision for five years that you still haven't made and I go, "Why are you making your life so complicated? It's just a decision." It's just an emotion. You have to go through a bit of pain maybe, but that's just a feeling that will pass through you.

Many of you feel you invest in it so much that you believe it's how you're going to be the rest of your existence. You believe the pain's going to be forever, the fear's going to be forever, that all these things are going to be forever. It's not like that at all when you truly engage your emotions. It's much more simple than that. It's much more enjoyable.

Mary: You said something great to me the other day, you said, "The way God's designed it is that if you feel something that's in error, really feel it, and connect to it, it's going to dissipate. If you feel something in harmony with God's Truth, it's going to grow, it's going to continue." And that's awesome. You know that if you just connect, God's designed it that it's going to leave you. If it's in error or if it's pain or fear, it's going to leave you. You just have to take that step of connecting to it.

So you could say in some ways the biggest problem we face is a lack of faith in this, isn't it? We don't really have faith that that's true. So we want to use our intellect in a totally different way. And even our lack of faith comes from our distorted data in to the CPU.

The reality is if God is a loving God who created the universe in a loving way, surely we can have some faith that if we experience negative emotion it will leave us. God wouldn't have created a way which causes us to retain all negative emotions. Can you imagine if God retained all negative emotions? You imagine having like sixty billion children, most of whom are unruly. And blaming You for being so. That'd be pretty intense to feel. Imagine if God stored every one of those feelings. Then I'd say we'd have a very angry God. You look at the average parent with two children doing that and it's pretty bad. (Laughing)

So I just feel like we over-complicate things so much here by wanting to not see what the end result is. We're not really seeing that the emotion is just an experience that's transient. The only time when you become the emotion you feel is when you hold on to it.

Mary: The opposite of what we tell ourselves. We tell ourselves if I experience this, this is me. When actually if we experience it and it's in error, it will leave us. But holding onto it, that's when it governs our life and our nature and our actions.

Yeah. And you don't become joyful by holding on to joy. Do you know that? Have you ever tried to do that? It doesn't work very well.

Mary: It's a fear-based place.

Have you noticed that? Once you try to hold onto it, it's fear that starts driving you, you're afraid of losing the joy. Fear starts driving it and then you start making some very bad decisions after that point, trying to hold on to that joy. You know, let joy pass through you. The more you let these emotions pass through you and the closer you get to God, the more the positive emotions will pass through you.

In the end, once you're at-one with God, you'll have 100% of the time really loving and joyful emotions passing through you. But every time you start developing joy, and you get to a point, "Oh, I'm really happy now. I'm really happy, I'm really happy with my partner. I don't know if she's my soulmate, but I'm really happy. I've got to hold on to it for dear life." Hold on, hold on, hold on. You try doing that, and within six months you're going to have a very bad relationship. (Laughter) And that's because we haven't learned to just allow ourselves to experience the emotion all the time. And as we grow towards God, our emotions of joy will increase in both the amount of times they occur, and the duration, if we allow the experience.

Understanding Your Emotional Self: Session 1 Part 2

5. How most currently view emotions (continued)

5.1. Seeing emotions as a means to and end

Mary: Maybe we could talk about the second part of this, and it's very much related, but there are some other things that we wanted to mention.

So the second part is...

Mary: When we see emotions as a means to an end. Who can relate to seeing emotions as a means to an end? Yeah. And what's the end? At-onement. What else?

But when we say "at-onement with God," we're being pretty vague, aren't we? Because at the end of the day most of us have never been at-one with God before, so we have no idea what that means. Really for most of us it's just an imaginary place at this point in time. And while other people might have done their best to try and describe to you what that place is going to feel like, at the end of the day, if you don't feel anything (laughs), you're not going to be very connected to the description.

Mary: And as we said before, lots of people see at-onement as a place where there's no emotion. So that end is not really realistic.

That's a problem.

5.1.1. A means to be happy

Participant: Mine is just that I might be happy at the end of it. It's not even a certainty for me. It's like that I might get a little better.

So you see the end of as happy.

Participant: Yeah. Or a little bit of joy.

Or joyful.

Participant: A little better than where I am now.

And emotions are the means to that end?

Participant: Yeah.

But aren't they emotions?

Participant: Well yeah.

So how do you have an emotion that's a means to an emotion? I don't know about that one.

Participant: (Laughs) That's a bit illogical.

Not very logical. If we think about it logically even, we see that there's something wrong with our thinking here, because they are emotions. So aren't we saying emotions are a means to emotions? Now that doesn't make much sense either, does it? (Laughs) The reality is they are emotions, so the end is emotional.

Even if we don't have a concept of God or a concept of anything, oftentimes the goal in our life is to become happy. Isn't happy an emotion? But often we don't see it that way.

Mary: We think, "I'll just feel all my sadness so then I can have the happy emotion and block out the sadness." It's not really logical in that the only way to get happy is to stay open to feeling sad.

And happy.

Participant: Well that's part of my experience. I find it's hard to be happy or joyful. Well now the last little while, it's kind of just been happening, which is kind of nice, but in general I'm trying real hard to have any emotion. I'm as scared of the real happy, as I am of the real fear.

Mary: Yeah.

So a key of this is trying rather than ...

Participant: ... doing it, experiencing.

Yeah. Doing or experiencing. If we have to try, it means that we have some beliefs that are flawed with regard to our emotion. Anything else?

5.1.2. A means to only feel "good" emotions and not feel "bad" emotions

Participant: And to get all of our fear out of us, to be free of fear.

Yes. So that's a means to be fearless in the end. Yeah. While that is partly true, feeling your emotions is a way that you will eventually become fearless, at the end of the day, that's not the end goal. The end goal is far greater than that.

Mary: Can you see how within it, it demonstrates a prejudice against certain emotions? So it's saying. "I just want to be free of this yucky emotion, fear." If the process is to open ourselves up to emotion, we've already got a prejudice against one of them, in that we don't like it, whereas in this change of state thing that we're talking about, we'll say, "I want all emotion because it's an expression of who I am right now."

So what are those bad emotions? What are the ones we've been defining as bad? Fear, anger, shame, humiliation, guilt ...

Mary: Callousness ...

... hatred, seething rage, isn't it? And what are the good emotions? Joy, happy, love,

Mary: I can see some that people see as a good emotion, that I often question ... comfort - being free of any discomfort.

Yeah so you can see some of these are pretty distorted as well. But again this is the way we think. We think some emotions are good, some emotions are bad. The bad ones are the ones you don't want to have; the good ones are the ones you want to have. Sex is in there.

Participant: That could be in both good and bad emotion categories.

Oh yeah, that could be in both. I agree. (Laughter) And, in fact, to be honest, some of these can be swapped around quite a lot for some people. For some anger - that feels good, powerful.

We're so distorted in our judgments of emotion that you've really just got to give up judgment of emotion. Just feel them. Stop judging every one of them. Some of the ones you think are bad are actually good; some of the ones that you think are good, they'll actually leave you and you'll never have them again and you won't miss them, either, by the way. You know, that's bound to happen, but at the moment, because of the way we've been taught, we have no idea of that.

So, really for most of us, the way we've been seeing emotion is that emotions are a means to the end of not feeling the bad emotions, and feeling the good emotions. And we don't even really know which ones of those are in harmony with God or not, to be honest, because we haven't felt enough to know.

Participant: We're being selective.

We're very selective, yes. So some of us think anger is good, but from God's Perspective it not that great a shot. Some of us think sexual stuff is bad, but actually from God's Perspective it's pretty good. Some of us think being safe is good, but an addiction to safety is - from God's Perspective pretty bad. So we're even mixed up about what's what.

5.1.3. False beliefs about feeling emotions are imbibed during our childhoods

Each of our lists are different. Internally each of you has a list of bad emotions and good emotions, which have been totally defined by your environmental experience. Most of them have got no relevance whatsoever in your relationship with God. They've just been defined by your emotional experience. Or we should say been defined by the suppressed experience. [00:08:12.20]

If you had been allowed to experience some of these emotions, you wouldn't be so complicated about having them. But most of us were never allowed to experience these emotions. And now that AJ comes along and says you're allowed to, what do you feel then? You go, "I'm allowed to. I don't feel like I'm allowed to. That doesn't compute very well. My belief system from my childhood, was I wasn't allowed to, I was punished violently most of the time, every time I experienced an emotion, so that told me I wasn't allowed to. I was harmed generally when I felt an emotion. I was humiliated when I felt a good emotion, and I expressed it, so I'm not allowed to even feel a good one."

So when AJ comes along and says you're allowed to feel an emotion, the internal belief system is even completely in opposition to that. You're really, internally, going, "What an idiot, fancy him saying that. My experience has been completely opposite to that. My experience has been that in my childhood I wasn't allowed to feel that, I wasn't allowed to feel this, I was punished when I felt that, I was violently abused when I felt that, I was sexually abused when I felt this." We've got all these things going on.

All of the things that happened in our childhood, that we weren't allowed to experience or we were suppressed or harmed in some way, are what we believe right now. So how can you think you think clearly? How can you intellectually believe that your thought process has clarity? It doesn't have clarity. And the more that's happened to you, the less clarity probably it has. The more you've been suppressed, the less clarity you've probably experienced. And you've got to come to an awareness of that. The only way clarity can occur is by allowing the experience of all emotion. That's the only way clarity will ever be arrived at.

So some people ask me, "Why is it that you seem to know what I feel when I'm talking to you?" Because I have some clarity. Why do I have some clarity? Because I've let myself feel those emotions that you haven't; that's what has given me clarity.

So can you see this "means to an end" thing is telling us that we see emotions as a process, not as an end destination. And if we're going to see emotions like that, then you can see that, obviously you're going to be very selective about what emotions you feel. This is why most of us are selective, because we don't just let us feel everything; we only are allowed to feel certain things. And when we say allowed, sometimes our external environment allows, but most of the time, it's our internal environment, our internal belief systems, that allow.

There are emotions that you have bottled up right now that you feel absolutely terrified of feeling, and I think, "If you could just feel that, your next bit of life would be so good." If you could just let yourself feel it. And you go, "No, no, it's too bad to feel, it's better not feeling it." How can it be better not feeling it? You're carrying it around with you every day. It's affecting every choice you make, every decision you make, every interaction you have, every relationship you have, every belief you have, every interaction with the universe around you is affected by that emotion. Surely it's better to just feel it and let it go, and then it doesn't affect you anymore. Yet inside of ourselves, we go, "No, no, we can't do that." We don't even know why we can't do that half the time. We don't even understand why we feel so much like we can't do it because that's also an emotion that we got from our childhood, that we're not feeling.

6. Learning humility in order to become completely emotional

Okay, so what do you feel about all that so far? Come on. Practice feeling. Feel. What do you feel about it? [00:12:30.16]

Participant: Freedom.

Freedom, no you don't. No you don't. Feel what you really feel ... don't be dishonest inside yourself. If you felt free from what I just said, you would already be bawling your eyes out because there's grief in you that you need to experience, that you're not experiencing. So you don't feel that. So what do you feel? I do know that you feel encouraged. Which is a different emotion.

Participant: Yeah.

So you do feel encouraged, yes? Do you feel that?

Participant: Yes I do.

Okay. Anything else you can feel that you're actually feeling right now?

Participant: Well, getting back to freedom, I feel that there's a sense of seeing that there's freedom in embracing this.

Okay, so there's a feeling of hope that's developing within you? About embracing a life where you just feel all the time. So I agree with that, yeah. I can feel that in you. I don't feel you feel freedom yet because you feel bound up by a lot of your emotions, so you won't feel freedom for a while. You feel encouraged and hopeful. That's good.

Participant: I know we're not supposed to go to the intellect, but I think there is an intellectual deepening of understanding of what the process is ... well what the journey is.

... what the process is. Let's call it the process.

Participant: ... what the journey is.

No, see... let's call it process. Journey is just another word for process, isn't it?

Participant: Well, yeah.

Aren't they the same thing? Really?

Participant: Yeah I guess.

Don't be afraid of using terms that come to you automatically. They tell you a lot about yourself. So every time you go, "Process ... oh no, not that word because AJ doesn't like that word. I'll use another word." All you're doing is modifying how you really feel. How you really feel still is - it is a journey.

Participant: Yeah. And a process.

So yeah, rather than a destination, rather than emotions being the destination and it's going to be quite difficult for some of you to change this concept from an emotional perspective, from it being a journey to a destination. Emotions are the destination. And to be more concise, emotions that are completely 100% experienced and in harmony with God's Love are my destination. And it doesn't have to be yours. That's my destination. That is not a process.

Or you could say the process is learning how to do that. So it's not dealing with emotions, it's learning how to make emotions 100% of my life. That's the process. The destination is emotions being 100% of my life. And the process is learning how to make that happen. And what I've been trying to do for six years is explain to you how that happens.

Participant: You have.

And many of you have misinterpreted my words and turned it into a process.

Participant: Equally, yes. I have.

Mary: I think it's very important what you just said there, babe, about the process is actually learning how or coming to this state of humility again. I see a lot of people talk about emotions, but they don't really talk about how they're going with making humility their way of life. When really, when we are striving on this path, that's what we're striving for. We're not striving to cry five hours a day. We're striving to be humble all the time, and a by-product might be that we cry for hours a day.

And what's the definition of humility? So you've already been taught this, you see, but you just haven't realized it. Most of you haven't realized what you've already been taught. I've already said to you: to progress towards God, you are going to have to be emotional 100% of the time. So destination is experiencing all emotions in harmony with God's Love 100% of the time. Now isn't that a very similar description to humility in some ways? With one exception, and that is that humility allows you to experience all emotions whether they are in 100% harmony with God's Love or not. That's the only difference.

And the process is learning humility, or learning how to do that. When we are humble, we don't see emotion as a process. We see emotion as the way in which we live the rest of our life. So we see it as a core intrinsic part of the "Way".

If you have a discussion with a Celestial spirit and you start talking about emotional processing, they'll go, "What's that? I don't really get what you mean there." And then you start saying, "Well you know how you go through an emotional process and you come out of it at the end of the day." And they'll go, "Nope. We don't come out of emotion. We're in it all the time.

Mary: I can see a lot of people have decided this way to progress on the path towards God is to deal with the unloving issues inside of us, so the suppressed emotion from our childhood. And while in theory that's true, it's skipping the really vital step that you've been talking about for six years, which is embracing humility. That's the only way you're ever really going to deal with those things. But I can see that everyone is focused on what I've cleared, the causal I processed, the bit of fear I did, and it's all about trying to achieve a goal of like getting rid of all that yucky stuff and really this process is about embracing all of that without resistance, and then you'll be free of those things, but you won't be focused on being free of them, you'll be focused on having your experience and honouring yourself emotionally. If you want the destination that Jesus and I have, you'll want to do that with a desire to love and be in harmony with God's Love.

6.1. Desiring control over emotions

Participant: Where you say focusing on being free of them, because I can relate to that. That's all about control, though, isn't it?

Totally.

Mary: Yeah. Fear and control.

Which is the main reason why you can't feel all of the emotion. In the end, once you set up a desire to control, it's going to be very, very difficult for you to not control the emotions you don't want to feel.

Participant: Totally. And for me control has been intrinsic, like it wasn't until this path I was aware of how controlling I actually am.

Yeah. For a lot of us, becoming emotional is going to mean breaking down a lot of the old habits that we use to not be emotional. So in other words, most of the work we'll finish up doing, once you get to the point where you're willing to be emotional almost 100% of the time, you'll find things a lot easier. Getting to that point is the hardest thing. That's where the majority of people are struggling, getting to the point.

6.2. Feeling blockages to feeling emotions

Participant: With regard to how you feel a lot of us are separating sadness, anger and fear. In relation to fear, I sometimes feel afraid to feel it in public because I feel like I'll just cry the whole time. I try to get into what am I crying about, what am I sad about, but really the sadness is just fear. I related to what Vanessa said; it's those anxiety tears. Yeah.

Yeah. That's it.

Mary: And that's a block, Mel. You know we're always talking about blocks; that's a block that you both experience about connecting to the real feelings that you have. And you have to feel blocks.

You can't intellectually decide your blocks or intellectually remove them.

Participant: I think I've just realized this two days ago.

Mary: Yeah.

6.3. Being willing to feel all emotions in and around us, without a need to share them with others

Participant: It seems to me the difference is a very ego-centric state that we're all involved in. The other night we were talking about spirits and being open to feeling everything that is around you and all the emotions that are around you. I just kind of want to get rid of my stuff; I don't want to feel your stuff.

But you see when you truly allow all emotion; you will want to feel everyone's stuff.

Participant: Instead of being ego-centric. And that's why, particularly in the first century, when you were at-one with God, people had that feeling of love in the interactions.

Yeah, if I can point out that the majority of people who see emotions as a means to an end, are narcissistic. They're ego-centric.

Mary: How would you differentiate the definition of those words, babe?

Well they're both very similar aren't they? I feel one is seeing the world revolve around yourself, whereas narcissistic is more being totally interested in yourself.

Mary: Yeah, right.

And for most people who find the path, they go through these emotions where they don't really get rid of their narcissisms or ego-centricity. You can see that with how addicted they become to interactions, like Facebook, Twitter, and all of these things have all become huge organizations on the planet because of those two emotions. People want other people to share in their experience. When you really feel all of your emotions, you'll own your own experience completely without sharing it and you're happy for other people to share their experience. You don't need to share your own experience.

Participant: I've struggled with that a lot.

Yeah. I feel even the desire to share your own experience is driven by another addiction of a kind. They're all driven by addictions in the end. When we truly feel everything, you will come to this realization that there is no way that you can properly describe anything you've felt. So talking about your emotions becomes demeaning of the emotion itself.

So when I see people discussing their emotions and what they've processed and enjoying it, it shows to me they haven't really felt their emotions properly. Because when you truly feel your emotions, trying to describe it to another person is very, very difficult ... almost impossible.

Mary: It's frustrating; too, because you can't. It's impossible, yeah.

It's impossible. And that's even if the other person is your soulmate, it's very, very difficult. It's only once you get rid of the blockages between each other, that you'll feel the actual emotion that the other person's experiencing.

Participant: And then they won't even have to talk about it because you would be feeling it from them.

Correct. You won't need to talk about it. Because you're feeling it from them, you know exactly what they're feeling.

Mary: Going back to your original question or point, I feel that the only way we become ego-centric and narcissistic is because we don't want to feel alone. So it's impossible to have an ego-centric view of processing, "Oh I'm just going to feel my stuff and not feel everyone else's stuff", because the very state is indicating that you don't want to feel your stuff, that you're trying to control everything and maintain a state that you have internally. That's why everything's about you. That's my experience. I've been very narcissistic at many times and it's always because I'm afraid of feeling something else.

6.3.1. Wanting to avoid feeling others' emotions is due to addictions

So if you could describe that where there's you, and lots of people around you who have emotions. Some of those emotions, you don't like at the moment.

Participant: Yes, yes, that's true.

You don't want them to have those emotions.

Participant: No, particularly not about me.

So what you're saying is, "I'm going to feel what I feel about me, and I'm not going to feel anything else."

Trying to avoid feeling others' emotions is not a state of humility

But can you see that when you're at-one with God, God feels everyone. God just doesn't agree with everyone. So there is a difference between feeling everyone and agreeing with everyone. [00:27:14.00]

Participant: And God wouldn't see our error as us anyway - it's emotion.

No but God still can feel what your error is. He can feel whenever you're in a rage, but He doesn't agree with the rage. He doesn't agree it's necessary.

Participant: I've had feelings of commiserating, particularly with other women, like those kind of addictions.

Yeah. So whenever we try to put a barrier around our own emotional experience, what we're trying to do really is stop those people from having their experience, which affects our experience. From God's Perspective, if it affects your experience, then it already means that you haven't healed something. You being in a rage shouldn't affect my happiness; and if your rage does affect my happiness, then it means somehow I'm hooked into your rage. I've got an addiction that you don't get into a rage, or I want you to not be in a rage with me, or I want you to not be in a rage with my daughter or my son who you hate, or whatever my addiction is. So if I'm responding to your rage, it's because I have an addiction about your rage.

Participant: Yeah, okay.

Do you see?

Participant: I think I do.

If I'm responding unlovingly to your rage, it means I have an addiction about your rage. This is why we need to allow ourselves to feel other people's feelings, because if there is a response in us somewhere, there is just something to heal. Once you've healed that, the other person can be in a rage, you'll be happy. They can be sad, you'll be happy. So when a Celestial spirit feels for you, when you're crying about some childhood event, they're not sitting down with you crying.

6.4. Not being invested in others' opinions of us

6.4.1. An illustration of AJ being attacked in the first century

Participant: When you walked in today and you've said you've been quite attacked by spirits. How does that feel? Am I right that you feel better than you ever have in your life, even though there's this huge attack and the attack in the first century resulted in both your deaths? I'm going, "I'm feeling emotion and I'm going to be persecuted." But your experience was different to how my perception of how the experience would be.

Yes.

Mary: Can you see that when you align yourself more with truth or with your feelings, you're going to feel better? Before now, I've been trying to suppress my emotions really heavily, being quite narcissistic because in my feeling state, I would allow a certain amount, and when I really don't want to go there, then it becomes paramount to me, "I'm going to stay in this space. So everything's about me now, and I've got to make sure this space is held." And that takes work, it feels yucky, you're out of harmony with love all the time, you've got that weighing on your soul all the time.

Mary: When you start to connect with yourself - and this is what I think a lot of people don't understand about just living humbly - you immediately start to have more joy just because you're not fighting yourself all the time. You also begin to have more faith in God's Laws. That's why I feel much better, because I'm starting to have experiences where I feel things and then I feel the truth of God's Laws and I know if I just keep feeling things, everything is going to work out the best that it could possibly work out.

But I also see attack as a way for me to feel some emotion that I'm obviously not connecting to.

Participant: What about in the first century, when you're at-one with God, and you didn't have those negative emotions to feel, but you had the experience. Were you sad that people were doing this to you?

No. If I am sad now, it's just stuff I have to feel. But when you get attacked all the time, you don't have to be sad all the time. You're only going to be sad when you're attacked because you then have an investment in how other people perceive you. So the only reason why many of you feel sad when somebody says bad about you, sometimes it's something that's true, but either way you feel that it's bad, is because you have an investment in their opinion of you.

Why do you have an investment in their opinion of you emotionally? Because you were taught to have one; you were taught that you couldn't stay true to yourself, and if everyone around you disagreed with you, you still would stay true to yourself.

So most of you have no idea how to do that at this point. In the first century, I knew how to do that, once I became at-one with God, that's what I did. Your opinion of me didn't matter to me. I didn't invest in it. I didn't make my identity a part of your opinion of me. [00:32:31.18]

Participant: But that's a good example of how we're not going to get to a zen space, and we might actually be attacked and there might be Law of Attraction events that are really ...

Yeah, I don't see the relationship, and again I feel this is a distortion of your concepts. The reality is I felt in a peaceful state even when I was being attacked. So I didn't see it as some kind of trauma; you know the people around me often did, but I didn't.

Mary: But also would you agree that you had an unwillingness to sacrifice Love and Truth, and a faith and a knowledge that by living in a way that didn't sacrifice Love and Truth, the best possible outcome would happen for everyone involved. I think a lot of people get really get caught up in, "But Jesus died. He was crucified, therefore big question mark on this whole thing," which is really I feel just indicating a huge fear of physical pain and attack.

And no understanding of my condition at the time I was receiving it.

I didn't feel attacked. They were attacking me, but I didn't feel attacked. I didn't invest in their opinions of me. So even if they hated me, I didn't think, "Oh, I'm a terrible person because you hated me," whereas many of us today either think we're a terrible person if someone hates us or we get really, really angry that someone hates us, because we want them to think we're a nice person, when they don't.

I didn't do that either, I was completely honouring of their emotional experience. If they were angry and they hated me, then that's fine, that's where they're at. That's their choice to be there, rather than feel an emotion. That was their choice. And I honoured their choice. I didn't agree with it, in the sense that it was wrong, I didn't have to then accept it.

What I'm finding even now is the only time you generally get upset is that there is a feeling inside of you that maybe the other person was right. When that feeling disappears inside of you, you won't even invest in anybody's opinion. Everyone in the world could hate you and you'd still be fine and it won't be because you're totally zenned out, zoned out, and totally oblivious to your own condition. It'll be full awareness of your own condition and you'll still be fine.

That's what it felt for me in the first century life. It was like, I was totally aware of my own condition, I knew God loved me and I could feel that Love all the time. I knew that there was nothing that could shake me from that. No opinion of another person could shake me from that space and as a result, it was just a beautiful space to be in, whether I was getting attacked or not. It was immaterial what other people did to me. My good feelings were enhanced through the emotional experience, and I didn't have any negative ones. [00:35:31.03]

Participant: Sounds like a worthwhile place to get to.

Exactly. And it doesn't matter what your environment does in that place. I hear a lot of you say, "But what if someone attacks me? What if people pull me down? And what if my friends do this?" You're not going to feel any of that in the end. That's just going to be them feeling that. That's their pain. They're going to be feeling their pain, but you're not going to be feeling it because all of the painful responses that you could have had to their pain, have all gone.

So what we need to do in the interim is allow the painful responses to be experienced, rather than reverting to some kind of action or negative response of our own.

6.5. An illustration of releasing unworthy emotions

Participant: Does that mean no matter what anybody says to you; does that mean taking things to heart more?

Well let's look at it from again a diagrammatic perspective. Here's myself. If I feel unworthy inside of myself, and somebody else from outside tells me, "AJ is unworthy"... and I get that quite a lot - I'm unworthy to be Jesus; I'm unworthy even to be myself from most people's perspective. So that's the message I get from the environment.

Now, if that feels bad inside of me, so in other words when I say feels bad, I feel sad or angry or I feel some kind of emotion that isn't harmonious with love obviously, then all that tells me is that I must believe I'm unworthy. Which is what I already feel anyway. That's all it tells me. Now if I, in that place of feeling bad, decide to attack the person or the environment that's telling me that I am unworthy, I have now taken an unloving action towards another person or environment, which now is going to make me feel another emotion which is going to be negative, but this time it's going to be true. So this is where most of us get ourselves in a real problem because we start taking action when we feel bad towards other people, rather than just feel the emotion that they are triggering inside of ourselves.

Attacking the environment that tells AJ that he unworthy, rather than feeling unworthy, creates more negative emotion to feel

Now once I no longer feel unworthy inside of myself, people can say, "AJ is unworthy," and what's AJ going to feel? There's no unworthy inside of me, so I don't feel anything about what they say at all - no anger, no sadness, no fear, no anything - so the fact that I feel something from what somebody else outside of me says is an indication that something is still inside of me. [00:39:10.01]

Participant: Does that mean you embrace what people say to you and, is that what you're trying to say?

I allow, I don't embrace. So is that not a truth or and untruth from God's perspective? An untruth. So I don't embrace it as a truth but I allow my feelings about it. So that's not embracing it as a truth, that's just allowing my feelings, my feelings that are responding to those feelings coming from outside of me. That's all you're doing.

If you allow the feelings, eventually this feeling of unworthiness will be released. Then there are no feelings of unworthiness within me, and then when anybody thinks I'm unworthy it'll pass through me, but there's nothing to resonate with. So I'll still know that they feel this way about me, but it won't bother me in any way.

Allowing feelings of unworthiness to flow releases them, so that in the future projections from the environment will have no effect

Participant: But then you'll have compassion for them.

Yes, you even get to the stage where you do have compassion that they could think such an amazing thing. It's such an amazing thing. You're the pinnacle of God's Creation. How could you ever be unworthy? It's such an amazing thing that somebody else thinks you're unworthy. That's how you feel at the end, like, "Wow, there must be some pretty sad things that happened in their childhood to make them think that I'm unworthy." But it's not an intellectual place because you've released all of the feelings inside of you that it can resonate with.

So what I see a lot of people doing in an intellectual way is they go, "I'm worthy, I'm worthy. I'm worthy. I'm worthy." Someone treats them unworthily and they go, "Argh! I'm worthy. I'm worthy!" Someone else treats them unworthily, "Argh, I'm worthy." The response is the indication they don't think they're worthy. If they actually felt worthy, they wouldn't respond like that to every person who projects that they're unworthy at them.

So there is an emotion inside that just needs to come out and the key is to feel it. And in the end isn't the goal to be 100% emotional being? So every time you shut down the feeling of it, you're just not meeting that goal anymore. You're not on the path to that goal. You're better off on the path to that goal than trying to shut that down.

6.6. Growing our emotional tolerance to emotional acceptance and then desire

So what I see happening for many of us, from a day-to-day basis, is that we have, let's call it, our emotional tolerance scale - Emotional tolerance scale, ETS. There's zero, and this is our tolerance of any emotion, good or bad for most of us is only just above zero. (Laughter)

That's how it goes for most of us. We have very little tolerance to experience emotions. Now, when we are 100% emotional beings, where's our emotional tolerance scale? Right up the top. And between our current emotional tolerance scale, and being 100% emotional beings is what you have to learn.

We need to learn how to grow our emotional tolerance scale (ETS) from just above zero to 100% emotional

So it's not about your intellectual learning, it's about learning how to get from the low level of tolerance to your own emotion, to the high level of tolerance to your own emotion. That's what real progression is about. Moving your tolerance level of emotion to the point where it's no longer a tolerance level - after a while it becomes an EAL, emotional acceptance level, and then it becomes an EDD, emotional desire level. [00:43:34.07]

We start off being very emotionally intolerant, and we learn to tolerate emotion. But that's still not where we need to be. We need to get to the place where we actually emotionally accept emotion. But even that's not the place where we need to be because we need to get to the place where we desire emotion all the time. Once we're there, now we can make some real progress.

When you think about it, at the bottom of the scale is tolerance, then there's acceptance, and then it's desire. As we're going up this learning process, you will find you will move through these layers. You'll move through from denial, which is where you start, to tolerance, to acceptance, to desiring it.

We need to grow from emotional tolerance, to emotional acceptance, and then into emotional desire

Once you're there - start getting to desiring emotion - now your progression in God's Universe can greatly be improved because once you desire it, this is how God teaches you, through your emotional experience. Everything you learn after that is about having to accept new emotions. As a result of that, you're going to learn a lot of things.

If you have a desire for it, it's going to happen a lot faster than if you just have an acceptance of it. And if you have a tolerance of it, that means that sometimes you might go from barely tolerating to eventually going okay, acceptance, okay, I have to accept that this is the way God made me - but that's still not very desiring; you're not very desiring in that place.

What you'll eventually become is emotionally desiring emotion, believe it or not. Depending on what our emotional condition is now, for that to occur some of us go, "Yeah I can't see that ever occurring." It depends on where we are as to what we see, but in the end you will get to that place where you actually desire to be 100% emotional being - all the time.-and when you get there, then progression on every truth that God could give to you becomes like a wide open book from then on. Everything that God could teach you, you desire to learn. When at the bottom of the emotional tolerance scale, you're going, "Can I tolerate learning that? Probably not." Or, "Probably, yeah, maybe," but you're very reluctant.

Once you get to acceptance you've gotten over your reluctance, so it's sort of like, "Yeah I'm okay with it now, but I don't really want to know more." Whereas when you desire it, you're going, "I want to know more, all the time. I want to grow my soul to be this expressive individual, which is an expression of my individual personality, but also which allows everyone around me to express theirs." [00:46:36.03]

6.7. Doubt is a choice to avoid resolution or action

Participant: When you were writing up the scale, I realized I've got a lot of doubt about that. Doubt that I can do it, doubt that I want it.

Can I have a quick chat about doubt? You know what doubt is?

Participant: It feels angry.

It is actually anger, yes. What does doubt allow you to do?

Participant: Blame others.

And stay ...

Participant: ... stay where I am.

... where you are. Most of us choose doubt. Doubt is a choice. When we're choosing doubt; we're choosing to not resolve a question. We're choosing to not have resolution. God wants us to have resolution on every issue. So when we doubt, we are basically choosing to not have resolution. And the only reason why we would choose to not have resolution is because we don't want to go through the process: the process of going from zero tolerance of our emotions to full desire of our emotion - we don't want to go through that process.

We've got to be careful that we don't say, "Oh I doubt that this is true," when really the feeling is "I don't want it to be true." Doubt gets you away from having to say that. If you go, "Oh, I'm not sure," what does it do? [00:48:45.21]

Participant: You don't have to look at it.

Yeah you don't have to look at it any further. You don't have to do anything about it. It lets you off the hook. That's why we choose doubt. That's why we choose to remain unsure about anything.

There are whole areas of the hells of the spirit world full of people who have done this. They've made it their profession in life. It's a very dangerous place because it's very hard to move from there - it's driven by fear - but it's very hard to move because you keep justifying your lack of movement, your inertia. You keep justifying your inertia through saying, "Oh, well I don't know if it's true anyway," and you have no desire to resolve whether it's true or not, in that place. The problem with this process, from an emotional perspective, is that the only way you're going to know it's true is by actually experiencing it.

So can you see, by having doubt about it, you're even disallowing the experience to even work out whether it will be true or not in the end. See a true scientist wouldn't do that. A true scientist would say, "Okay, I'm being presented with a theory here; I want to see whether it's going to work; I'm not going to doubt it; what I'm going to do instead is I'm going to choose to experience it, and see whether it's true."

Participant: So looking at why the doubt is there ...

Yes. Well the doubt is all about one thing, an unwillingness to do.

Participant: So looking at why there is an unwillingness.

Because you're afraid of something, obviously.

Participant: Yeah.

Yeah, or you're angry. It could be any reason. Like there could be a thousand reasons.

Participant: So that would be the place to go.

Yes but don't justify your doubt. Don't justify it. Don't say, "Oh, the reason why I'm not doing this is because I doubt whether it's going to work." That's not a reason. That's an excuse. Doubt can be removed from within you by doing some kind of experiment to remove the doubt.

See if you think about it, all of us need to be a true scientist if we're going to engage the world we're in. A true scientist would go, "I don't know whether this is true." So he's aware that he might not know something but he doesn't decide to use doubt as a way of not finding out. What he does instead is he creates an experiment and then he engages the experiment to find out the truth. And if we were truly sincere about following any path, we would experiment with it rather than just doubting it works.

Participant: Okay. So yes I can feel I'm judging my doubt and thinking I can't move from there.

Yeah again I'd start with rage, Teresa. Doubt is a great way to avoid rage, to avoid the anger that I don't want to do it; I don't want to have to change. I don't want my life to be any different than it is because I'm afraid that all sorts of things might happen if it becomes different. We're often in a very angry place when we doubt and we use doubt as a way of saying, "I'm not angry, I'm just doubtful. I'm not angry, I'm not resistive."

You see a person who's not resistive, even though they might not know something; they will create an experiment to find out. That's what a person who's not resistive does. A person who doubts is resistive, and so they don't create the experiment. They just say, "I doubt that." And you say, "What are you doing about your doubt?" They go, "What do you mean what am I doing about my doubt? I just don't believe it's true. I don't know if it's true. There's no way of knowing it's true." Well I'm just saying there is a way of knowing it's true, you have to experience some emotion, and you go, "I doubt that." Can you see what happens with the person who uses their doubt as an excuse? Basically in the end it's very hard to have any meaningful conversation with them because anything you say they're going to doubt. It's very, very hard to have any resolution of any problem with the person who doubts. [00:52:55.21]

I doubt whether there's any real scientist who actually does experiments doubting from the beginning. They have an imagination. They have a desire to develop. They want to resolve the question. They are unsure about their knowledge from the beginning, but they don't use doubt as a way of avoiding the experiment. So you've got to be very careful with doubt. It's just really a passive-aggressive way of expressing rage.

6.8. Feeling emotions is a solitary, individual experience

Participant: I've looked at a lot of what you had there, and a lot of it is so true for me at the moment. I had this feeling of excitement mixed with this flutter in my chest with fear and all this kind of stuff. After the experience I had last Thursday with you guys, I thought, "I'm going to try to see what this feels like." So I let myself feel whatever I need to feel about it. And then I watched God's Law of Attraction go into supercharge.

(Laughs) Yeah, as it does, because your desire has increased.

Participant: And then it was like everything around me was constantly bringing up some feelings inside of me and I was constantly being challenged. I started to go into this place where I was feeling good, feeling bad, feeling good, feeling bad, feeling good, because of my resistance, of course. And then now it's like I've noticed everyone's addictions are trying to help me feel better. And everyone's going, "Oh, what's wrong?" And it's like, "Oh I just need to be and feel," and everyone in town or at work is constantly trying, so I had to keep removing myself from these people. And it just felt like I was going to be completely alone in this whole process, which is something I've been feeling.

Yeah.

Participant: But it showed me how much I didn't want to know certain things about myself. And that if I just let myself feel it then I'd find out, "Oh crap that's true." Then you notice how many times you did it to everyone, and went, "Oh goodness that's true too." And understanding the belief that it's not really who you are, but it's just what your emotion is there.

Can I, before you proceed further, just address one part of that?

Participant: Please.

I agree with all that with one exception. That is this feeling that you're going to be alone feeling your life. The fact is you are alone.

Participant: Yeah.

So why do you find that sad?

Participant: Because it just feels like it's true at the moment, I mean emotionally because of my beliefs.

Yeah but see only you can feel what you feel. No one else can do it; even your soulmate can't do it for you. So when it comes to your feeling experience, you are alone, in the sense that only you can feel what you feel.

Participant: Yeah and I want someone to be with me while I'm doing it.

And at the moment you feel that's a bad thing. Yeah I think it's a wonderful thing. I'm so glad that I don't have to feel your emotions. (Laughter) I have enough trouble feeling my own. Once you get to the point where you desire your own, you're also so glad that you don't have to process anybody else's emotions, go through the feelings and experience of everyone else's emotions. The reality is every single one of us needs to learn that we are an individual and to be an individual means that you have to process or go through or experience your own emotion. That's the only way you can be an individual. So it's actually a great thing about free will and a great thing about what it means to be an individual. But you're not going to feel that while you feel lonely emotions.

Participant: Oh if I don't want to feel that loneliness in the first place, yeah.

Correct. So just because you feel alone, and you feel sad about that, in the future you will actually go through your emotional experiences alone and not feel sad about that. This is what I'm saying about the distortion of our mind and what it does to our belief systems; do you know what I mean? Like now you feel sad about being alone going through your emotions. You will, at some point in the future, feel very glad that you're alone going through your emotions. (Laughs)

Participant: Like I mean there's an emotion in me that wants people to feel ...

... to share with you. Yeah.

Participant: To make me feel better in my emotion.

Yeah I understand.

Participant: And I get away because I'm trying the experiment, to get away from people to do it alone.

Yeah.

Participant: But it's in that place where I feel like it would be good if I had someone who said, "That's all right, Fab, you need to go there," but I don't when I'm in that place.

I've never had anybody say that in my entire emotional experience. So I don't see even that as being good. The reason why I don't see it as being good is because in the end you don't learn to have your own emotional experience if somebody else goes through ...

Participant: It's like driving to Sydney and getting lost and you've got to get ...

Yeah. If you think about it, the person who goes through their own emotional experience in the end will learn to honour their own emotional experience the most. When you go through an emotional experience because somebody else has, you're not going to honour that experience as much. So one of the things I've noticed, in terms of being the first person to go through an experience, is that I now, as a result of that, have a very clear feeling about that experience that the people who have come after me don't have as much. And I see that as a blessing rather than a problem actually. So I feel this issue of wanting other people to share the experience and feeling alone when they don't is just another addiction that ...

Participant: ... needs to be felt.

... needs to be felt. Yeah.

Participant: It just blew me away because I felt the excitement and the inspiration about what you're saying and at the same time the fear inside of me, of what I need to just feel about.

Yeah.

7. Benefits of becoming completely emotional

What I love about this concept, and this is a concept that I realized early in the first century by the way, was that it gave me the power to live in a world without taking on the world or the world's feelings about me. It allowed me to grow independent of whether other people were willing to grow or not.

When you see your emotion as a destination, you don't see living somewhere as a destination. You don't see being in the spirit world in a certain location as a destination. You don't see any of that. You just see being present as yourself, fully 100% feeling as the destination. So now your focus becomes what can I do to become that? Rather than what can I do to do some other things that are nowhere near as important as that? [01:00:32.29]

When you fully engage your own emotional experience, and you become an emotional being 100% of the time, you will find in the end that the results will be so amazing for you that other people will be automatically attracted to want to know what you did. But you won't feel like you are responsible for them even. You won't even have to share with them if you didn't want to, but you'll probably want to, in that place.

What I feel often happens for most people on the path at this stage - who are intellectually following it - is it almost feels like, I can feel the hopeless feeling that many of you have, a real hopeless feeling about, "Oh, I don't know if I'm ever going to get through this stuff." When you look at it this way, as a way of expanding yourself emotionally that is going to be a forever proposition, you don't place time frames on it. You just focus your attention on growing every day more emotionally. So life then becomes very simple.

Even your decisions in each day are focused first on growing emotionally, and then the other things. You decide upon other things based on your desires or based on those emotions that you experience. You don't focus on doing things external all the time. You don't focus on changing the world around you. You don't focus on any of these things because you're so absorbed in the fact that you know that this is the key to your own happiness, but also the key to other people experiencing your happiness. If I'm not happy, you can't experience me being happy. That applies to all of us. If you're not happy, somebody around you can't experience you being happy and you being happy is the way God created you to be in the long run.

So none of us are really experiencing the other person very well, right at this point. Once you get into desire of all of your emotions, now people experience the real you; you experience the real you, but they also experience the real you. They get to know who you are; your true nature, your true feelings, your true abilities and desires, your true personality. They get to know everything and see you really easily because you allow the expression of such things because you're in emotional desire all the time.

It's such a lovely place to be, such a lovely place to be and what I'm trying to encourage you in this discussion is to stop seeing emotions as a process, and start seeing your emotional self as the destination because if you can do that you will start changing, you will change what you do every day even. You will. You won't any longer be trying to avoid emotional experiences or control them all the time. You'll be wanting to feel them instead, and that is going to make a huge difference to your life. That's also how you're going to feel God because that's what God does. God's the Great Emotional Experience, and that's how you're going to feel God, by allowing these emotions to flow all the time.

8. Future discussions on "Understanding Your Emotional Self"

I'd probably like to finish off there actually, I think. Maybe what we'll do is the second half of our conversation later. It's really probably more than one half that we've got to go because we want to talk to you about the attitude towards growth and progression as well in this discussion. So probably what we'll do tomorrow is talk to you about how you see progress, what do you imagine it to be? Because how you currently imagine it to be is causing you a lot of pain, and what we'd like is to see it differently. The way to see it differently is all about how we see the emotions and what we would also like to be able to do tomorrow is to discuss with you this concept of the difference between an "intellectual" concept of growth, compared to actually emotionally growing, to see the difference between those two concepts, and show what kind of thinking that we have when we compare those two different types of growth.

To be honest, I don't think intellectual growth is even a method of growth. That's my personal opinion, although I do admit that people have grown intellectually to the point of the sixth dimension, but it's a very limited method of growing. And it's a limited method of growing that most of us are still engaging, even though we've heard about Divine Truth, and even though we've heard about Divine Love. Most of us are still engaging this intellectual method of growing.

What I'd like to encourage you to do over tomorrow when we have this second discussion is to actually start allowing yourself to experiment with yourself emotionally, which is a very different concept, because most of us are so worried about making mistakes and getting something wrong that we don't experiment with anything, let alone experiment with our emotions because for most of us experimenting with our emotions seems like a painful proposition. But there are whole groups of emotions that are pleasurable, that you can experiment with as well as experiment with the painful emotions because remember in that place that everything will pass, if I just allow the experience of it. [01:07:08.18]

9. Learning humility in order to become completely emotional (continued)

9.1. Identifying blocks to our emotions

Participant: When I feel an emotion and the tears start and I know there's more in there but it just doesn't go there, instead of going into the mind and going, "Well what's the belief?" I should just stay where I'm at?

Yes. Every feeling that gets blocked is blocked by another feeling. Not by a thought, it's a feeling. You need to find the feeling.

Participant: So that will dissipate if I just stay and breathe and that ...

Be careful with your breathing because you use that as a way of getting out of your body and getting away from things. But when your tears stop, there's obviously a feeling that you have stopped them. "What was it?" is what you need to find.

Participant: But I find that that takes me into the mind if I go and write down in my journal and ...

You can do anything you want to try and find what it is, if you need to think about it, think about it. Write about it, sing about it, like write a lyric about it. Sing a song about it, get out a basic drum and drum about it. Go down and punch a bag about it. Do something that will get you back to feeling what that block is.

Participant: So you can use the mind like that to assist you?

Yeah, your mind's a tool God gave you to assist you to find to eventually get to the place where you're 100% emotional. And after that, your mind is just a tool that is used by the 100% emotional soul to express itself.

Mary: The thing Laura I feel for you is just to be careful of feeling, "Oh I'm comfortable with saying I stopped crying because of this thing." Like you said, you get into your mind a bit. It's okay to get into your mind if you're so unwilling to feel the next thing, if you can even identify what the next thing is, then you make it your total focus, not to get back to the emotion that was triggered, but get to the emotion that stopped you feeling the full emotion. So then my prayer then becomes, "Okay I want to feel that block, because anytime I go to that other grief with my mom, It gets shut down. So what's the feeling that blocked it? I've got to get rid of that feeling block, and then I'll be able to feel everything surrounding that issue much easier."

And it's obviously a feeling you don't want to feel otherwise you would already be feeling it.

Mary: Yes. So be willing to be really real with yourself when you go off and journal or lyric or whatever, and say. "Oh now I'm back in my mind, okay well that's where I want to be, let me feel about the opposite. Let me feel what it would have been like if I just stayed with it." That gets you closer to the feelings.

Participant: I understand, yeah.

You do need to know what is shutting you down from being 100% emotional being. Anything you can do to find out what is shutting you down is important and whatever tools you have at your disposal, use them. If a bit of body work helps you get there, go and do that. If writing gets you there, if playing some music gets you there, if whatever gets you there, to that place where you were blocked, do whatever, but make sure you find out that place that blocked you. You'll know because the next time you cry about the same subject, it will be a full experience if you've actually let go of the block. But if it's not a full experience, then you haven't let go of the block and you know it. So the emotional experience is telling you the result, it's telling you I haven't got there yet. [01:10:52.14]

So allow that to be part of you. "I haven't got there yet. I need to pray more about this. I need to have a stronger desire to feel it." There are things that you can do and feel to get to that point. Pray about getting to that point but don't de-tune from it. Don't run away from it. Don't ignore it now for another three weeks, four weeks, month, six months, twelve months, whatever. Allow yourself to find it. You found the block; emotionally you found it because it's stopping you, now experience that block.

Participant: Make that a priority.

Once you experience that block, that block will disappear, and whatever it was blocking will start coming up. Yeah. And that's basically a process that each of us can follow at any time.

Participant: So following on from that, if you hit your block, will your Law of Attraction, if you pray about it, show you what that block is?

Of course, if you're sincere in any prayer. And remember the word is "if" - little word, big meaning. If you are sincere with any prayer, you will get a response. So if you are sincere about finding out what the block is, you will find out what the block is through the Law of Attraction and words that are said to you and experiences that you have, all of which your soul is attracting - if you are sincere. The problem for many of us is that we are not really sincere.

9.2. Moving out of stagnation

You see this is what happens, I find, and it's worse the more modern the times we live in it seems. If I could draw a little picture on the whiteboard, this is how most of us see things. We go, here's a nice highway, trying to be as smooth as possible. That is the preferred road, is it not? But life is not like that highway; life has ups and downs.

Most of us prefer a straight, flat road, rather than the bumpy road that life is

Now if you are asked to get your car and you could choose which road you want to drive on, the majority of us would go, "Yeah I think the preferred highway is the way to go." You can see this one's a bit bumpy and whatever. But when it comes to a troublesome time in our life, which is like a bump in the road, most of us have a desire to stay there rather than to move through the troublesome period. This is a definite psychological problem that we face; it's an emotional problem that we need to address. We've got to ask ourselves why we are prepared to stay in a stagnant condition rather than move forward.

There is really only one answer, if you think about it. Why would you stay there? Because you're afraid of having to move forward, so you're afraid of what's ahead; and you're also afraid of what's behind because you don't go back to that, you don't want to go back to that; and so what you do is you don't do anything.

We choose to stay stagnant rather than moving forwards or backwards, because we are afraid

Now that place is not a good place for anyone. We must recognize that it's only fear that causes us to want to stay stagnant, and fear is an emotion, it's an emotional experience. So really what we're saying is we're unwilling to expand our soul enough to experience fear, that's really what we're saying isn't it? By not going through the fear, we're saying to God, the universe, ourselves, we're saying, "Don't let me go through this fear." And that is a direct unwillingness to go through fear. That's our soul expressing its free will desire to not experience an emotion. [01:15:32.02]

Now when you get into that place, you're basically saying you're not going to grow anymore. That's what you're saying. That's a place of stagnation, and it's not a very happy place, to be honest. So I recognize that whenever you want to be stagnant, really what you're doing is you're just honouring your fear and if you want to become a 100% emotional being, fear is an emotion you're going to have to learn how to feel.

That didn't go down well, did it? (Laughter) Rage is an emotion you're going to have to feel; fear is an emotion you're going to have to feel; terror is an emotion you're going to have to feel; sadness is an emotion you're going to have to feel; deep despair is an emotion you're going to have to feel; shame is an emotion you're going to have to feel; joy is an emotion you're going to have to feel; happiness is an emotion you're going to have to feel: these are all emotions, if you're going to be a 100% emotional being, you're going to have to actually learn how to feel all these emotions.

9.3. The power of feeling and releasing fear

At the moment we see emotions as a bad thing to feel but I actually see your soul as an expanding thing. When I look at the intolerance on the earth towards fear, it blows me away because I think, wow, most people on Earth have no idea how empowering it is to actually go through the feeling of fear and to learn that you can actually do it. Most people on Earth haven't learned that they can do it.

Most people on Earth believe that fear is an impossible emotion to actually feel, and it's not. There are millions of people in the Celestial heavens who have all felt the emotion of fear in the past, and they're all still alive, they're all still enjoying their life. So it's not an impossible emotion to feel, but on Earth it seems to be a belief system that fear and terror are impossible emotions to feel. You do everything you possibly can to avoid them and if you even examine your own day-to-day life, even now, many of you are still doing everything you possibly can to avoid fear; and that is not growing, expanding your soul to feel, to have the ability to feel fear.

Once you expand your soul, and allow the soul to expand you will be able to feel fear anytime. You'll be able to feel it pass through you, release it, anytime. That's a very powerful place actually, a very powerful place because now not a single decision you make will be based upon your fear. After that point, you won't base any decision on your fear anymore. If you imagine what that would be like, you wouldn't be afraid of anything, and even if you were afraid you still wouldn't base any decision on it. That would be a pretty amazing place, even that, even if you still had fear but you didn't honour it any longer - that would be an amazing place. And I feel the majority of people have no idea what that feels like. No idea what that feels like. I don't know if anyone on Earth really yet has a feeling of what that feels like.

9.4. Moving out of stagnation (continued)

So, allow the rocky road to occur, and whenever you feel stagnant on it, understand that it's fear, and if you have a feeling emotionally that you are going to become 100% emotional being, you must go through this fear and you'll do anything to make sure you go through the fear; you won't avoid it anymore; you won't get angry about it anymore: but if you feel anger, you'll let yourself feel it and go through that too and then you'll come back to the fear. Whether you get angry or not, it still doesn't change the fear, it's still going to be there. You need to feel it at some point. [01:20:16.19]

Mary: The roads lead to different destinations, don't they?

Which ones?

Mary: The two you've drawn.

Yeah I sort of feel like the flat road, which is sort of the road of comfort, is the road the majority of us still select and honestly, it's almost a lifeless road.

Mary: I reckon it's a loop road.

(Laughter) Have you been to some cities in the States where they have a freeway that goes around the city? London has it too - the M25, goes around the city. If you stayed on the road, it would just be like around and around and around. That's how most of our lives are. We're on this smooth road going around and around and around and around and around, not actually experiencing anything or going anywhere. That kind of a road is not the road you really want to be on in the long run. You want to let the emotional experiences occur, so that you can expand emotionally.

Whenever you feel stagnant, you realize, "I'm just afraid and I don't want to feel it." And it doesn't matter, you'll find out what you're afraid about if you really want to, at some point. You won't need anyone to tell you either, eventually you'll find out for yourself. It's handy when someone tells you, of course. Not that it helps much, sometimes, because you go, "Okay, but I still don't want to feel it." This is the problem is that we need to develop a desire within us to be this emotional being.

10. Closing words

That's probably the message we would like to leave you with today, to start thinking about and allowing yourself to ponder about what it would be like if you lived a life where you were a 100% emotional being all the time. Allow yourself to imagine that place with God. Imagine swapping these emotions with God constantly, where you're always an emotional being, experiencing everything because the reality is you're not being real unless you get to that place. You're not having a real experience unless you get to that place. God designed that place to be your real experience. So that's the place we want to aim for in the end.

So what we'll do tomorrow is talk more with you about some of the blockages we have to get to that place, some of the belief systems we have that we need to work through to get to that place, and also some of the things that are a part of that place in developing desire; what it means to develop desire in certain areas where we have this emotional experience as our focus. So if you want to come on tomorrow that would be great. Thanks guys. (Applause)

What we're trying to do with these events down here in New South Wales, the assistance group events, is to actually help people understand how important the process is of getting into these emotions and allowing the emotional experience, and focusing on the blockages that stop us from having these experiences.

Mary: Yeah and guys I've taken 6 years to get close to this point that we're talking about today and I've lived with someone who's been in that place that whole time and I feel really passionately that it's great to give you guys the opportunity to spend some time around Jesus, but also me being a little bit closer, to give you the feedback; the kind of feedback that I've received long term because it's really helped me to say, "Oh that's not it." The work can't be done for you, but there's no question that truth is assisting, and hence assistance groups.

So what we want to do is help you work through some of the resistance that you have towards being an emotional being. A lot of that is about the barter and the blackmail and the bartering systems you have internally with other people, and the addictions you want met through those systems, and the belief systems that you have that you don't want to let go of because you believe them to be true, and all of those kind of things. So our discussions with you will be about those subjects.

Mary: Yeah. And this point that we're talking about, it's an end of sorts, but it's more a beginning of everything. Accessing wisdom from God starts at that point in a real way. So it's a pretty exciting place to aim for. And scary. Let's face it - right now we're scared.

Otherwise we'd already be there. And even that is an emotional experience that God is trying to teach us that we're capable of experiencing.as well. So what I like about the whole way God's designed the soul is the soul has the capacity to infinitely expand with its emotional expression, and as it does to infinitely expand in its understanding of the universe and every other subject and what I feel for many of us is that while we're severely limiting our emotional expression, we are severely limiting the potential of our own soul.

The sooner we can get out of that habit, the better and it does take some time, you know, because like I said you're deconstructing all of these teachings that you've imbibed right from the time of conception and it takes effort to do that. You've got to find them; you've got to feel them, and it does take effort to do that, but once you've come into this desirous place, things change quite fast after that.

You know you often ask me what I do in this situation; you won't have to ask me anymore. You won't even think of asking anybody anymore, you'll know what to do through your connection with God, your connection with love. You'll instantly know what to do. Things that you decide now over months of time, you'll take days or even minutes to decide. You'll be so surprised. There are decisions now that you ponder over for weeks or months on end, and you won't even spend a single moment more than a second or two on the thing in the future because you'll know what you need to do in any circumstance and as a result of that, your life then has the power to change very rapidly.

So many of us have been stuck in a place for quite a number of years after hearing Divine Truth, and the reason why is because we've not truly engaged this understanding that actually it's our emotions that need to grow. It's our emotions that need to develop. And we need to be focused on that more than anything else.

What we're trying to do with the assistance groups is give you an experience of what it's like every day for us because every day, we are not focused on doing things every day, we are focused on feeling things every day; our entire day is totally constructed to just feel things; our entire life is constructed to feel that way, to be that way. And what we're trying to give you for nine or ten days is an experience of what to do to do the same thing if you want to do it.

Thanks for your time today guys. We'll catch up with you tomorrow. (Applause) It's good to see you again.

Appendix: Seminar Outline

Relationship With God - Understanding Your Emotional Self S1 & S2
Preface

Before we deal with subject, deal with unloving behaviour coming here

Introduction

Most who listen to Divine Truth are not changing

Most do not understand that they are not changing

Most are not changing because they have little understanding of "The Way"

Remember, it is the Way God designed for you to live the rest of your life

Most have little understanding of their real Emotional Self

Most who leave Divine Truth resist the process of developing their emotional self

Most who criticize Divine Truth do not wish to experience true emotional growth

For most, Understanding Their Emotional Self is a major problem

The Way You Currently;

see, hear, sense, taste;

analyse, think;

believe, imagine, desire, aspire;

see your-self and the universe around you;

live your life, interact with yourself, others, and God; and feel your emotions;

IS completely out of harmony with "The Way" God designed you to be.

Note: If it was in harmony with "The Way" God designed, then you would already be at-one with God, a loving individual all of the time, and in complete harmony with all of God's Creations.

How Most Currently See Emotions

As a means to an end

The 'end' differs for each person, but it can be;

becoming at-one with God (which is actually not an 'end' but a beginning)

having a happy life (which is actually not an 'end' but a beginning)

enjoying good relationships (again not an 'end' but a beginning)

Most see this 'end' as a place with little emotion;

seem to believe in a permanently calm, serene, and peaceful life

seem to believe that thoughts will be the primary power

Most feel that emotions are something you will 'deal with', not live

They believe emotions are problematic

They believe emotions are something you go through rather than live

They do not believe being an emotional being is the end result

As a process

Keep on hearing 'show me what to do and I'll do it'

Want 'instructions' rather than living a Way of life

I am showing you what to do every day, but very few do it

This indicates you do not truly understand the 'end goal', what you will become

Emotions & The Way

With respect to the Way, there are two parts to emotions;
Part 1 - Living being connected to God emotionally

Impossible to be at-one with God from an intellectual standpoint

It is impossible to connect to God intellectually

The intellect is only the brain of the spirit body

The 'soul's mind' is its emotional core, the intellect is a tool of the soul's mind

God is the Constant Emotional Being

Connection to God is only possible by becoming a constant emotional being
Part 2 - Living as an emotional being in harmony with God's Love

Impossible to be connected to one-self from an intellectual standpoint

It is impossible to connect to other souls intellectually

Living in harmony with God's Love is impossible intellectually

You can only exchange information intellectually

Thinking 'thoughts of love' only benefits when those thoughts translate into emotions

Emotions allow you to exchange feelings, love, truth

Emotions allow you to truly live and experience life

Emotions allow you to become the person God created you to be

For emotions to benefit you and others, they must in harmony with God's Love

Proper Understanding Of Emotions

Living emotionally

Emotions are not the means to the end

Emotions are a major part of the "Way" you will eventually live

Without them, you will

Without emotions, it is impossible to;

know God

become at-one with God

know or understand yourself

know or understand someone else

have a real experience of anything 'understand' anything about the soul

truly live and experience life

truly understand the universe in which you live

exchange feelings

progress beyond the 6th sphere or dimension

to sincerely grow and change

Your Attitude To Emotions

You will not:

invest in your emotions

identify with emotions

involve others in feeling your emotions with you

be afraid of your emotions

be afraid of others emotions

You will:

feel that emotions pass through you and do not stay with you

feel that you are what you feel while you feel it

feel that you are not permanently what you feel

feel that having others 'share' your experience cheapens your experience

feel that emotions are openheartedly welcomed

feel that when others are emotional they are being real

feel that emotions need to be in harmony with Love in order for a connection with God to be maintained

feel that emotions our of harmony with love must be experienced to be released

feel that growth is impossible without the experience of emotions

feel that a loving condition is impossible without emotions in harmony with Love

feel that nothing can change while unloving emotions are maintained within

feel and honour your own emotional experience

Your Attitude To Progression

Thinking Growth involves;

thinking you have dealt with something when you have not

thinking you have changed when you have not

thinking you have changed when from God's viewpoint you have not

having intellectual realizations without accompanying emotional experiences

thinking you know things you do not feel

thinking you know things you have not experienced

thinking you are more loving without having an emotional release of the unloving feelings

analysing law of attraction events with the mind only without emotional understanding or connection

incorrectly identifying injuries or not understanding the truth of events or your own condition

If you are thinking growth, when you are placed in a difficult situation, you will probably revert to your own historical unloving behaviour and feelings

Truly Growing involves;

becoming a complete 100% emotional being (like God)

receiving God's Love (an emotion of God) allows transformation of your own emotion

becoming a being with emotions that are only loving

feeling and expressing feelings and emotions 100% of the time

responding to events, people and truth in an emotional way

discovering the truth of your childhood and current life through feeling emotions

understanding the world, yourself and God emotionally

allowing the release of unloving emotions without acting upon them

If you are truly growing emotionally, when you are placed in a difficult situation, you will always act in a loving manner automatically

Desire To Love

Feel Your True Desires

Most people are basically selfish in their desires

Most people are basically narcissistic (hence facebook, twitter etc)

Most people have little desire to love

Most people barter their addictions, and call that 'love'

Most people cultivate only a desire to get their addictions met and avoid discomfort

Without a sincere desire to love you will not grow or change

Love is an emotion

Our desires must be purified in order to become at-one with God

Cannot love without the experience being emotional

Without the emotional experience, Love is just a word with no meaning

Growing Emotions Of Love

Choices you make are based on your desire to Love, not to avoid (due to fear)

Choices are made to cause you to become a more _Loving_ emotional being

Choices are made to stop being a fearful emotional being

Choices are made to release the negative emotions by feeling them

Choices are made to give the love you feel for others to them

Removing Emotions Of Fear

Fear is the reason we do not love

Fear is also the reason why we resist and oppose the Truth

Removing emotions of fear is an essential process if we are to become loving

Everytime you are angry, resentful, want to blame (yourself or others) you are not allowing the removal of emotions that are based in falsehood and fear

