 
**Doing It My Way**

**John Pustulka**

**June 14** **th**

**09:30 am**

The carnival comes again! As usual, merry, merry, merry!  
As Steven approached the fence, he noticed Sheila standing by herself, observing the raising of the giant double ferris wheel, which seemed to be the centerpiece of the carnival. Steven thought to himself, 'Well, now is your chance, boy. She's just standing there by herself. Go and say hello. Go, go!' He had had his eye on her for over a year now, but had no idea on how to strike up a conversation.  
He casually strolled up next to her. "Errmm.., hello, Sheila."  
She seemed lost for a while and looked at him suspiciously. "Hi."  
"Well, err.., have you ever ridden on that ferris wheel before?"  
"Nope." That respond did not sound promising.  
"Well, if you'd like, we can have a ride on that thing together next week," Steven smiled at her, and mentally crossed his fingers.

At the same time, elsewhere around the fence, four good friends were having a good time. were now hanging out with each other on the weekend. Three of them, Phoebe, Betty and Trish had been fast friends for over a year. The fourth, Rita, was new to Alamanda middle school this year, but she seemed to mingle easily with her new friends. The four of them always stood out, not just because they were stunningly beautiful, but because they were also dressed fashionably different from the rest. or just overly sophisticated.  
"Hello girls!"  
It was Felix, another guy who stood apart from other students in the school for various reasons. He was a year older than the girls, in the 9th grade, and quite big for his age. Short haired and rather muscular, he was a textbook example of the macho guy that all too many girls found attractive. Much to the chagrin of her more level headed friends, Phoebe Richardson appeared to be one of those girls.  
"Hi Felix," She walked up and casually put her arm around him, while Betty and Trish just smiled half-heartedly.

"If you girls meet me at the carnival next Sunday, I'll win you all the stuffed bears. Mark my words!"  
Phoebe giggled foolishly. Trish and Betty smiled and rolled their eyes to the heaven, while Rita just stared at him blankly. She didn't really know him like the others, and wasn't aware of the fact that he came from a family that was literally wealthy enough to buy the whole fair, thus his humour was completely lost on her.  
"Hello, do I know you?" Felix looked right back at her.

"Felix, this is Rita Hammond...Rita, meet Felix Arnold." Said Phoebe.  
Rita studied his face for a moment. "You're the guy who rides in that big limousine every morning, aren't you?"  
"Yup!" Felix proudly proclaimed, assuming that it would impress her as much as it did Phoebe.

Alamanda Town is a middle class hillside community, nestled at the foot of the Hurlock, a mountain range with many unpaved paths. It was from a section of this path that widened slightly, that Ian was perched on his bike, observing the fairground construction with binoculars.

BAM! He was suddenly knocked off his bike, and hit the ground hard. He was so engrossed with his binoculars, that he took no notice of the four guys, three of which were now pinning him face down in the dirt.  
"Enjoying the view, dude?"  
Ian instantly recognized the voice. He struggled to respond, as whoever was on top of him was nearly strangling him. "Becker, did you actually follow me here?"  
"No, we were just hiking and noticed a cowboy on his majestic horse, and decided to strangle him."  
Ian thought fast. "Becker," he huffed, "Are you really so weak that you can't beat me up yourself?" Surprisingly enough, this actually worked.  
"Let him up, I'll take it from here," The other three guys moved over. Ian got up warily and tried to compose himself. Although he knew he was no match for Becker in a fight, at least now he could breathe and think. Becker just glared at him furiously, as if he were daring him to throw the first punch. Remarkably, the binoculars were still hanging around Ian's neck. He was seriously considering using them as a weapon, when everyone heard a slight rustling noise coming from up the path. It was the sound of mountain bikers. Instinctively, Ian began yelling for help. Although the chances of complete strangers coming to his aid was remote at best, it was at least enough of a threat to cause the four guys that were harassing him to temporarily back off. Three muscular adults on mountain bikes rounded the bend, and stopped. "Is something wrong here? We heard someone yelling for help."  
"Not anymore! Thanks!" Ian quickly picked his own bike up out of the dirt and immediately started gliding down the hillside, followed by the three mountain bikers. This time, he had managed to cheat death, or at least serious injury.

**10:30 am**

Ian arrived home in one piece.  
"Mom's not going to like it when she sees that hole in your jeans," warned his younger sister Mabel.  
The exhausted youth was in no mood to pay much attention. He went straight to his room, put on some fresh clothes, and fell back on his bed. Later that afternoon, there would be a girl's softball game at the park near the school, and he wanted to get some good rest before attending. The main object of his daydreams was the star pitcher.

**1:32 pm**

Alamanda Park was located just around the corner from the school. The baseball field always seemed to be in use. On Sunday afternoons, it was taken over by the local girls' softball league. Rita was one of, if not _the_ most valuable player on her team. When she was up at batting, the opposing team's outfielders instinctively backed up. She was well known for her strength and accuracy. Ian arrived in the middle of the second inning. He chose to remain seated on his bike. From his strategic point near first base, he could make out a few familiar faces from school, sitting in the bleachers. Among them was Phoebe, who shot him back an angry glance. Ian ignored her, and kept his eye on home plate. Rita was up. Even in a weird fitting baseball uniform, she was perfection incarnate. Everybody knew about her, and usually tried to deliberately walk her. This is why Ian chose his spot near first base.  
After two pitches that were so far outside that the catcher actually had to move a bit to the right to catch them, Rita was visibly annoyed. She decided that she was going to swing at the third one, even if it missed the batter's box. She did, and it flew over the left fielder's head. Not quite out of the park, but a solid 2nd base hit! Although she probably didn't notice the kid with dirty blonde hair who was cheering her on as she passed first, Ian pretended she did. This was the sort of daydreaming that kept his grades remarkably low in school, but held his precarious sanity in place at night.

**4:35 pm: Rita's House.**

After the game was over, she entered the front door, and almost bumped into a new piece of furniture she wasn't expecting.  
"Whoa, what's this?" She asked, eyeing the tall, dark brown imposing object.  
"A very distant cousin who you've never met just died," answered her mother. "For some reason, he decided to leave us this old grandfather clock. Isn't it something?"  
"There's already a beautiful clock on the wall. If you ask me, all this thing is just taking up precious space." As usual, Rita was being practical.  
"You're probably right," her mother seemed to agree. "But we'll wait 'til you father gets home, before we decide what to do with it."  
Rita's father had just left on a business trip the previous day. The family owned a small nearby eatery, and he was considering the option of investing in another one in Vanderlitz, where most of his side of the family lived. He was there, checking out the facilities, as well as visiting his relatives.

June16th

Alamanda Middle School has somehow managed to have a minimum amount of the problems usually associated with schools that are part of large metropolitan areas. There is very little if any drug culture, racial conflicts or vandalism. What the school does have a lot of, however, is judgementalism on the part of both the students and the teachers. If one is not doing well academically, the word spreads fast among the teachers, and ostracism is inevitable.  
Nobody is more aware of this than Ian Clancy, a well meaning 8th grader who has a lot of trouble getting his act together. A perfect example of a good person who is not really a good student.

He wasn't at all handsome in the traditional way, nor was he a complete disaster. About average height for his age, with a head of dirty blond hair that always seemed to be uncombing itself. He was the sort of person who under normal circumstances, would easily fade into a crowd. Not particularly muscular, he was somewhat better at English and computer sciences, in which he managed to squeak by with Bs and Cs, but he still narrowly missed having to repeat the 7th grade.  
Like most boys of his age, girls were the major distraction. Ian had a much harder time hiding this fact than others. His unfortunate liking for occasionally gazing at a girl he found attractive longer than he should, did not go unnoticed. He made it a point to smile and say "Hello" to anyone who happened to be in any of his classes whenever he would pass them in the hall. He did this regardless of whether or not they appeared to like him or not. Ian hoped that merely letting people know that he knew their name might result in their taking an interest in his. Unfortunately, the opposite was usually the case. No one seemed to even know his first name. This fact was slowly starting to get on his nerves more than he cared to admit to himself.

Of all the people he would greet every morning, there was no reaction stranger than that of Rita's. Rita was new to the school this year, and an absolute princess. Not just in her appearance, but in the way she carried herself. She seemed matured beyond her years. Her long straight black hair was always perfectly styled, and her choice of make-up was always an ideal match for her big brown eyes. On top of all that, she was an honour student, a star in the school's gymnastics program, and managed to get the lead role in the school play as well. In short, she was perfect.

As luck would have it, her locker was located right next to Ian's. Every morning, the same routine would take place. He would smile and say "Hello Rita," and she would give absolutely no response at all. Not a half-hearted greeting, not an insult, not evens a change in her facial expression. Nothing. It was as if he was merely a ghost talking from a different astral plane that she was completely oblivious to.  
This was not the case with her three closest friends, Phoebe, Betty and Trish. Unlike Rita, they all had gone to this school the previous year. Phoebe had long ago surmised that Ian fell into the category of complete loser. If Ian said "Hello" to her, the response was always "Lay Off!" Betty's opinion of him wasn't quite as harsh. Out of pity, she would usually just respond with a sarcastic "Yo!" Trish would usually just point at him and laugh. As annoying as the four of them were, their beauty could not be denied. Ian had assumed that the reason Rita was so quickly assimilated into their clique, simply had to do with her looks, which matched theirs. In this school, girls often traveled in groups that were based on appearance, and these marvelous four were certainly at the top of the food chain.

10:35 am

"Hello Steven."  
"Hi Ian."  
The two boys exchanged greetings as they filed into the classroom. Steven was just about the only kid in the school who would return Ian's greeting, and get his name right. One might describe him as a stereotypical nerd intellectual. Like Ian, he was a bit of a loner, but in his case, it seemed to be by choice. A guy who was at ease with his own company. Schoolwork came naturally to him.

Third period sociology, presented numerous peculiar challenges of its own. It was the only class that Rita, Phoebe, Betty and Trish were all in as well, which was quite a distraction. The four of them always sat at the left-front area of the class, while Ian always sat in the rear-right, which gave him a clear view of Rita, without her knowing that he was always looking at her. He also deliberately sat back there, as he did in most classes, to avoid being called on by the teacher to answer questions.  
The teacher, Mrs. Pinny, wasn't nearly as cruel as Mr. Norman, the math teacher, but she was for the most part, a serious woman who wasn't given to injecting much humor into her lectures.  
"I'd like everyone to please turn to page 62 in their books." The class complied. "Steven, would you do us the honour of reading aloud in your special way."  
She frequently called on Steven, when something needed to be read out loud. He had a way of playing with the intonation as if he were reciting one of Shakespeare's sonnets.

The moment he started reading, it didn't take long for Ian's mind to start drifting off to other interests. More often than not, he would think about what it would be like to be really good at something, and be appreciated for it. Occasionally he would wonder what it would be like if the four girls were his friends...Or for that matter, what it would be like to have any real friends at all.

"Ian!" Mrs. Pinny's loud voice jarred him out of his REM state.  
"Huh?"  
"Would you agree?"  
Obviously she had asked a question that he hadn't heard. He didn't want to risk saying yes or no because there was a fifty percent chance of him making a complete fool of himself. "Would you please repeat the question ma'am?"  
This immediately caused spasms of laughter blasting throughout the classroom, combined with the sound of a few kids mumbling words like "moron" and "idiot" under their breaths.  
"Okay, enough!" the teacher interrupted. "Everyone listen very carefully. I have an important assignment that will be due this coming Friday."

Phoebe's voice rang out over the cacophony, "Mrs. Pinny, is it okay. if all four of us work together?" she asked, referring to herself, Rita, Betty and Trish.  
"It's perfectly alright for all of you to get together and work on your assignments, but I'm afraid you're still going to have to turn in two of them." She turned to the rest of the class. "Is there anybody here who doesn't have a partner?" Ian and Steven both raised their hands. "Well Steven, it looks like you're going to be working with Ian. Is that alright with you?"  
"No problem,"  
"Fine with me," agreed Ian.  
"Alright, everybody settles down," Mrs. Pinny continued. "I haven't even told you what the assignment is yet." Everyone sat back down in their chairs and all eyes and ears were focused on the teacher. "I want each pair to pick either a trend, an event, or an invention of some sort that played some part in changing the course of history. On Friday, I want one person to stand up in front of the class and present an argument to the effect that the fruit it bore was mainly positive, and the other to make a case that its effects were mostly negative. This event, trend, or invention can be anything from as far back as seven thousand years B.C. right up to the present. You will each have eight minutes or less to state your case."  
Betty raised her hand.  
"Yes?"  
"Would you kindly give us an example?"  
Mrs. Pinny thought about it for a moment, and then spoke in her usual slow and deliberate manner. "As a matter of fact, yes I will. Let's take an obvious one, like the television. Although I'm sure it's hard for people your age, and for that matter my age to imagine a time when it didn't exist, believe it or not, prior to 1948 there was no such thing. Needless to say, its negative effects are pretty self evident. Television, required one's undivided attention, and thus, proved to be time consuming.. Prior to television, when a child entered a toy store, it was to find out what the latest toy was. With the advent of television, suddenly children already knew what the latest toy was before they entered the store. Then they started begging their parents to buy them this and that, which they now knew existed, without even leaving the house. See my points?"  
Although usually it was difficult for Ian to stay awake during one of her long-winded dissertations, somehow this subject matter seemed to be tightly holding his attention.  
The bell rang.  
"Alright," she finished, "Other than this one assignment, for the rest of the week there will be no homework. Go now."  
As all of the kids shuffled out the door and on to their next classes, Ian and Steven approached each other.  
"Shall we get started on this right away?" Asked Ian.  
"Yeah,."  
"My house or yours?"  
"I think mine's closer. Where do you live?"  
"Near the Public Field."  
"I'm at 23 Prune Street. Since I walk to school, and you've got a bike, it definitely makes more sense to meet at mine."  
"Sounds like a plan," agreed Ian. "Is four o'clock o.k.?"  
"Nice."  
The two youths went off to have their lunches.

12:05 Noon.

It was always not easy to stay awake during 4th period history. Mrs. Jaya had a monotone delivery that rivaled Mrs. Pinny's. It made studying the ancient Roman Empire a lot more boring than it should have been. Memorizing a bunch of difficult to pronounce names, places and dates wasn't anyone's idea of a good time, and it never ceased to amaze Ian that anybody could possibly remain focused, let alone someone whose threshold was as low as his. The classroom overlooked the school's track and field area. This caused him to frequently lose out while gazing out the window at the 4th period physical education class, which had more girls than guys in it.  
"Ian!" the teacher shocked him out of his state of delirium.  
"What?" It was as if a hypnotist had snapped his fingers and said 'you will now awake'. It was obvious that this must've been the second or third time she had actually said his name. The rest of the class started laughing as usual.  
"Would you mind repeating what I just said?"  
"Uh, no I wouldn't." Once again the class erupted in laughter.

1:10 pm

Math was easily the killer of the day. Ian's brain simply was not programmed to absorb anything beyond addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. Alamanda didn't have any kind of a remedial math program, so he was stuck in an unending woes. The teacher, Mr. Norman had had Ian's sister Erma in his class three years earlier. She was his star pupil, and he simply couldn't square the fact that her younger brother was a non performing material. The only good thing about the class, is that it only took Norman a couple of weeks into the semester to realize that Ian was a lost cause, and so by early May, he had simply stopped calling on him to come up to the board to solve problems. It would've been a sheer waste of time for both of them.  
What really added salt to injury was the fact that Phoebe was in the class, and was carrying on the legacy of his sister. The one subject in which males consistently tested higher than females, and the class brain was a girl...  
"Phoebe, would you please come up and show us how to solve this?"  
She got out of her seat, strolled up to the board and picked up a piece of chalk. Phoebe then wrote an equation on the board.

"Excellent, Phoebe." Norman jotted down another problem on the chalkboard. "Would anybody like to take a crack at this one?"  
Ian looked at the chalkboard. He registered nothing...blank.

2:03 pm  
.   
Phys-ed was yet another dreaded class for multiple reasons. All of Ian's principal enemies were in it. Becker, Tim and especially, Felix. Individually, they were tormenting enough, but together in the same class, they were like the hungry pack of terror. All of them had, at one time or another, made it a point to sneak up behind Ian in the hallway and slam him head first into a locker. It made for a lot of dents in the school's lockers that had the faculty puzzled. For these guys, merely ignoring Ian altogether, or just shouting out verbal insults at him was simply not enough. They were guys with way too much hormone coursing through their veins and who needed an easy target to take out their physical aggression on. With his relatively easy-going manner, Ian was a plain sitting duck.  
Coach Bert began as usual with a series of warm up exercises and stretches. The second half of the class was usually taken up with either a quick game of basketball, in which Ian was always chosen last when selecting teams, or touch football, with similar results.  
It was the final fifteen minutes that he always dreaded most. That's when everyone was made to jog around the neighborhood on a route that was approximately a kilometer in length. That meant a good 15 minutes in which he was out of eyesight of the coach, and well within reach of everyone else's fists. It was on these route that he would occasionally get shoved into a thorny bush. Not being a natural athletic type, he usually was the last to arrive back on the school grounds. There was actually an advantage to this, as it meant that towards the end of the jog, he didn't have to be on guard anymore.

The only bonus, if you could call it that, was that near the end, the route took everyone past the school's indoor gym. During 6th period, the girl's gymnastics apparatuses were set up. Only a select group of unusually talented students got to participate in the school's gymnastics program. Rita and Betty were among them. The doors were never closed, which meant a person could catch a glimpse of what was going on inside when jogging by.  
On this particular day, Ian made an extreme error in his judgment. When he saw Rita doing a handstand on the balance beam, he couldn't resist jogging in place for about fifteen seconds to relish the image. Because he was already lagging behind the other students, this resulted in his late arrival back at the field being even more conspicuous than usual.  
"Ian, what the hell took you so long?" Yelled coach Bert.  
Before he could think of an excuse, Felix suggested, "I believe it's because he was busy peeping at the girls in the gym, sir."

"Yeah," added Becker, "And this is not the first time he's done that."  
The expression on the coach's face made Ian to look down.

. "Ian, would you like to explain to everybody why you were watching the girls in the gym?"

Ian thought for a moment and then replied, "Well err..,, admiring their artistry, sir." This got a few scattered chuckles from everybody else.

"Why do you suppose everyone else in this class doesn't seem to share your strange inclination to 'admire the girl's artistry'?"  
In yet another spur-of-the-moment lack of judgment, Ian wisecracked, "I don't know, perhaps they have no taste of art."  
This of course, brought on an uneasy onslaught of both "What!" and "Idiot!" from the rest of the class. Felix was now staring at Ian with gritted teeth and blood in his eyes. The one thing a clear-thinking person never did was call a bully that was twice his size, a stupid. Not even as a joke. This time, Ian really let his pride get in the way of good judgment. He knew that at some point in the near future, he was probably going to get it hard, but at least for the moment, he had the last word. The bell rang.  
"Alright, I want everybody except Ian to hit the showers," hollered the coach. He then turned and looked at Ian. "You are now going to give me twenty push-ups, and another lap around the school. And this time, no stopping to 'admire' anything. Move!"  
As the other kids headed for the gym lockers, Ian did as he was instructed. For him, twenty was a lot, but at least it kept him out of the showers where some people were ready to strangle him with a towel. Little did he know that coach Bert was thinking the same thing. While Ian huffed and puffed on the ground, the coach asked him, "Ian, you are a dead man, you know?"  
"Yes sir." By this time, Ian wasn't putting any thought into his answers.  
"Stand up," ordered the coach, even though Ian hadn't quite made it to twenty yet. "Listen Ian, as one of your teachers, it's my job to insure your safety, even if you don't seem to care about it yourself. There's no way I can, in good conscience, allow you to go in that locker room right now. You know what I meant, don't you? Just go to your locker, get your books, and then rush home before they have a chance to finish their showers. I have no doubt that at some point in the future, somebody is going to kill you. Now get going!"  
Ian didn't need any convincing. He arrived home and quickly showered and changed. He then hopped back on his bike, and headed straight for Steven's house.

4:05 pm

Ian arrived at Steven's and was greeted at the door by her mom.  
"You must be Eon. Come on in, Steven's waiting for you."  
"Ian," he corrected her, knowing that she probably wouldn't remember anyway. He was led down a narrow hallway to Steven's room. Steven was busy on the computer, exploring an online encyclopedia, already looking for ideas for the presentation.  
Steven briefly looked over his shoulder. "Yo, Ian." He resumed his surfing.  
"So dear Steven, have you come up with anything?"  
"Actually, the options are endless," Steven got right down to business. "Let me throw something...How about radio?"  
"Yup, a possibility."  
"How about the internet?"  
"Even more obvious."  
"Rock 'n Roll?"  
"Nah, I'll bet half the class is already doing it. We should come up with something different. That way, we'll at least score some points for originality."  
"Did you have anything in mind?"  
"No, but perhaps we should go for something earlier than the 20th century."  
Steven paused for a moment. "Well, the century before that one certainly had enough to choose from. Ford and his car. Edison and his projector...."  
"Steven, can I ask you something personal?"  
Steven turned away from the computer and looked at Ian, somewhat startled by his sudden desire to change the subject of the conversation. "I suppose," he answered suspiciously. "Depends on the question."  
Ian slumped back into another chair in the room, not exactly sure of how to properly phrase his question. "You sit right next to Rita in sociology, right?"  
"Err..,...Yeah?"  
Ian hesitated slightly, then smiled, trying to keep the conversation light. "Well, how do you find her? She's superb eh?."  
Steven considered his words for a moment, then answered. "Actually, you are lucky because your seat is in the last row to the right, you have the advantage of being able to stare at her and get away with it. If I were to do that, she would notice it immediately."  
Ian realized that Steven was trying to cleverly dodge the question. "Well Steven, that certainly explains why you don't look at her. But don't you have the urge to look at her?"  
Steven looked down from his swivel chair and took a deep breath. "Alright, you want an explanation, I'll give you one." Looking back up at Ian, he gathered his thoughts and proceeded. "You know that imported car dealership over on 15th street?"  
"You mean the one that always has that red BMW on the revolving platform in the window?"  
"Yup! Just can't miss it, eh? So many time I've passed by that display and thought to myself, 'in another few years when I get my driver's license, I'll get that thing and the girls will never let me out of their sight'."  
"I think that car would make quite a statement in any parking lot," quipped Ian.  
Steven continued. "Yeah, it's nice to daydream. But when I give the fantasy a little more deep consideration, it doesn't really hold up. Especially the price...."  
Ian tried not to allow Steven's cynicism to get to him. "Well Steven, you know, your metaphor has both merits and inaccuracies. I certainly agree that if Rita is a car, she probably would be a Porche. But theoretically, one does not rent or own a girl, one woos her. Do you think there's a chance that Rita..."  
"Ian, forgive my rudeness, but I've got to interrupt." Steven was now shaking his head with a blank look. "Do you know Sheila?"  
Ian thought for a moment. "Um...I believe so. She's in my English class. Kind of short, brown hair..."  
"Yup, that's her alright." A smile came to Steven's face as he thought of her. "Most guys would probably think she's a little on the chubby side, but there's something about her that I've always found interesting."  
Ian agreed. "I think she's cute."  
"I ran into her a few days ago, I just sort of casually walked up and asked her if she'd care to ride on the Ferris-wheel with me this coming weekend. I figured the worst she could do was say 'no'."  
"I take it her answer was not affirmative."  
Steven looked up, now visibly upset. "As a matter of fact, she just glared at me and said ' lay off!' and then just disappeared."  
"Well, maybe she is afraid of heights."  
"No, I distinctly remember seeing her on the ferris wheel last year, and if that were the case she would've just said 'no thanks'." Steven was now agitated. "Now think for a moment Ian...If I got that kind of a reaction from Sheila, can you imagine what kind of a response either one of us would get from the likes of Rita? Or for that matter Betty, Phoebe or any of those other girls in Mrs. Pinny's class?"  
"Well I know that Phoebe hates my guts, but Rita I'm still not sure..."  
Steven took off his glasses. He was now quite agitated. "Girls like them go for a specific type of guy. Tall, muscular, good looking, preferably wealthy. In other words, the exact opposite of us."  
"Well that's certainly a negative attitude." Ian was slowly but surely realizing the futility of his optimism.  
"Be realistic. There are a lot of tall good looking guys in school, who for the next five years, are going to be setting their sights on winning the affections of all the prettiest girls. Maybe guys like us should be striving for something a little more modest."  
"Such as?"  
"Such as not making fools of ourselves around people who we're going to be spending the next few years in class with. The fact is, Rita, Phoebe, Trish and Betty are all working together on this homework assignment like we are...probably at this very moment, and I wouldn't be a bit surprised if they're goofing on us as well. Step number one in making sure we don't make fools of ourselves, is to see to it that our presentation is at least as good as theirs."  
Begrudgingly, Ian concurred, and the two youths resumed their search for a suitable project.

4:10 pm, Phoebe's Bedroom

Steven had no idea how accurate his deduction was.  
Phoebe was mockingly doing an impersonation of him reading from the textbook, which Trish and Betty laughed at hysterically, but only managed to coax a half-hearted smile out of Rita. The four girls had regrouped in Phoebe's bedroom after school to decide what their sociology projects would be, and who would be working with whom. Betty fidgeted around on Phoebe's computer while Trish sat on the bed. Rita was sitting on the floor with her back against the wall, doodling on a notepad.  
"Is that Steven a nerd or what?" Phoebe said, with a laugh.  
Betty added, "You know, if you were to pray to God to send over a stereotypical nerdy bookworm, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if he showed up at your door. Steven's alright though. I find him amusing, albeit unintentionally."  
"Right now, I feel sorry for him." Phoebe's voice took on an air of disgust. "The poor guy got paired up with that retarded Ian. You just know Steven's probably going to wind up having to do all the work himself."  
"Frankly, I feel sorry for Ian." Betty responded. "I'm sure it can't be easy going through life with limited mental capabilities...and being funny looking too."  
"It's not just that he's a retard," Phoebe continued. "I think he's also a pervert of some sort. He's always leering at us from the back of the room."  
"Really?" Trish spoke up. "How do you know? You have eyes in the back of your head?"  
"I don't have to have them," Phoebe sounded sure of herself. "I can just feel it."  
"Well," said Trish, "To tell you the truth, I haven't really put that much thought into what's going on in the mind of Ian."  
Finally, Rita spoke. "Can I ask you guys something?"  
"Yeah?" They answered in unison.  
"Is he that terrible?". "The fact is, the guy is creepy." asserted Phoebe  
"Well," responded Rita, "I'll just have to take your word for it. To tell you the truth, I wouldn't be able to pick him out of a police line-up. All I know is that Mrs. Pinny occasionally talks to somebody named " Ian" who's voice always responds from somewhere behind me in the back of the room."  
"I hate to say this, but Phoebe might be on to something." Betty continued fidgeting with the mouse. "While we were in the gym today, I could swear I saw him standing in the doorway for a few seconds, watching us."  
Rita was somewhat amused at the thought of this. "Well, I don't know about you, but where I come from that doesn't necessarily make someone a pervert, that just makes him a normal guy."  
"He was also at the ballgame, pretty much doing what she just described." Phoebe quipped.  
"Good afternoon ladies!" The four girls looked up to see Phoebe's mother standing in the doorway.  
"What's up, Mom? This is my friend, Rita. You already know Trish and Betty. We're doing homework."  
"At least we're trying to do homework," added Trish. "These three can't seem to stop talking about Ian."  
" So is this Ian some sort of a boy in school who you girl's like?"  
"No, that's the boy in school who we hate," declared Phoebe.  
Rita rebutted, "Speak for yourself, Phoebe. I don't hate anybody."  
"Girls, there are two main things to remember when choosing a boyfriend." Mrs. Shan took it upon herself to hand out some uncalled for advice. "Seek out the superior male, and make sure his family has money."  
There was about ten awkward seconds worth of silence as Rita was trying to decide whether or not the woman was being genuine or facetious. Betty and Trish just looked up at the ceiling. They were used to hearing this sort of nonsense from Mrs. Shan.  
Finally, Rita tried breaking the tension with one of her usual droll observances, "Oh, I don't know. I think hygienic cleanliness is a pretty important character trait as well."  
"Don't worry, my dear. That's just something that naturally goes along with wealth. Always marry up."  
Holy crap. Rita was at a loss. Is this woman for real? She wasn't really sure which was more reprehensible...that she apparently really believed what she was saying or the fact that she felt compelled to offer this advice completely unsolicited.  
What was most shocking of all, was the fact that Phoebe didn't seem to be the least bit embarrassed by her mother's nonsense. "Don't worry mom. There's a major 'alpha male' in school named Felix, who just might be in love with me." This remark caused the other three girls to roll their eyes.  
Rita was especially cynical. "Phoebe, are you talking about that tall guy in the suede jacket we were speaking to at the fairgrounds?"  
"That's my guy."  
Betty knew better. " I hate to disappoint you, but I don't think Felix will ever love you, or anybody else for that matter, as much as he loves the sound of his own voice."  
"Ah, you're just jealous."  
At this point, Phoebe's mother realized that she was probably getting in the way of the girl's homework, and made an exit. "I'll leave you girls to your project. Sorry for interrupting."  
After the woman left, once again there was awkward silence.  
This time it was Betty who initiated the conversation. "Phoebe, what does your father do for a living?"  
"I don't know," answered Phoebe. "My folks divorced before I was born. He sends money all the time. He's okay I guess."  
Indeed. All three of her guests had noticed that the house was quite nice.  
"Does your mom work too?"  
"Yeah, she sells DVDs on the web."  
"What kind of DVDs?" Rita was now a bit suspicious.  
"Mainly instructional stuff. You know...the How Tos"  
Trish, who up until now had been relatively quiet, finally decided to change the topic. "So have any of you put any thought into what subjects we're going to base our presentations on?"  
"As far as I'm concerned, we might as well just do it on television," quipped Betty. "Mrs. Pinny already did half the work for us."  
Rita thought about it for a moment. "Well, obviously that's out of the question, but I can think of a few subjects related to T.V. that are up for grabs."  
"Like the advent of color T.V.?" suggested Betty.  
"No." This was a subject that Rita knew quite a bit about. "There was no sudden change from black and white to color, and the only effect the gradual transition had been the inevitable extinction of black and white televisions."  
All three of them turned and looked at her.  
"How do you know all this stuff?" Betty was slightly envious.  
"When it comes to entertainment, I'm a walking encyclopedia. If you're looking for something television related, you might want to consider the pros and cons of the home video market."  
"That's it," Declared Phoebe, turning to Betty and Trish. "I call Rita as my partner. In exchange, you two can use the home video idea. I'm sure she'll come up with something else."  
Betty yawned and turned to Trish. "Is that idea acceptable to you?"  
"Anything is at this point." Trish was obviously bored. "Want to meet tonight at my house after dinner? I'd feel a lot more comfortable using my own computer. You can even sleep over if you'd like."  
"That sounds like a plan," Betty and Trish both rose and picked up their backpacks. "Phoebe, if you will excuse us, we'll leave you and genius over here to cook up another idea for yourselves. It was a pleasure meeting your mother." she uttered in a manner that hinted at sarcasm.  
"Great. We'll give you two a call later on, and let you know what we've decided on." Phoebe showed them to the front door and returned to her room, where Rita was still sitting on the floor with her back against the wall. "Alright, I'm going to take a wild guess and assume that you've already got some better idea cooked up in your head."  
Rita finally stood up. "As a matter of fact, yes I do. Do you know where I live?"  
"Nope."  
"It's only about four blocks from here." Rita scribbled her address on to the pad she was doodling on, ripped off the sheet of paper and handed it to her friend. "Meet me at my house at around seven. I've got something to show you that will blow you away."  
"Can you please give me a hint?"  
"Like Trish and Betty's project, it is also entertainment related. That's all I will say." Rita started to walk towards the door, with Phoebe following.  
"Do I need to bring anything?"  
"I guess, just your brain. See you this evening."  
Rita walked out the front door and headed towards home. On the way, she thought about the fact that she had really only known Phoebe for a little over a year, and that although they were constant companions in school, today would be the first day that the two of them would visit each other's houses and only the second time they would meet each other's mothers. Thankfully, Rita's mom had ideas about male-female relationships that weren't quite as extreme as Mrs. Shan's.

6:12 pm, Ian's Residence

The conversation around the dinner table was as usual. Mr. Clancy, Ian's father was a man who wasn't shy about displaying his pride in his daughters and his disappointment in his son. Mrs. Clancy was somewhat more restrained in her acknowledgement that one of their children was clearly not excelling in school the way the other two were. On this evening, Ian decided to try an experiment.  
"Dad, I have something to ask."  
Mr. Ian looked up from his tuna salad. "Yes?"  
"Vitellius, the emperor of Rome was assassinated on in the year 69 AD. Can you tell me the name of the emperor that replaced him?"  
His father paused for a moment, not thinking about the answer, but about what on earth would prompt his son to ask such a question. "No I cannot."  
Ian turned to his mother, "Can you?" She shook her head no. He then turned to his older sister. She rolled her eyes and sighed. "No I cannot, Ian."  
He then turned his eyes to his younger sister, Mabel. Before he could say anything, she cut him off.  
"Don't even bother."  
"I didn't think so," said Ian, with a self satisfied smirk on his face.  
This obviously was annoying his father. "Do you know who it was?" he asked.  
"Yes," responded Ian. "The man's name was Titus Flavius."  
"Well thank you for enlightening us all." Mr. Ian wiped his face with a napkin. "Now would you mind explaining to us why you felt this information was significant enough that we should all know about it?"  
"Yeah. Before this, I didn't know the answer to that either...by next week, I will have forgotten it. Just like she did." Ian nodded towards his sister. "She had the same history teacher that I now have, learned that same useless tidbit of information that I just spewed, and then promptly forgot it a week later." He then nodded towards Mabel. "In a couple of years, she'll also be in Mrs. Jaya's history class, learning useless crap like this, and then forgetting it a week later." The tone of his voice, now became even more sarcastic. "I don't know why, but it just suddenly occurred to me that while everybody in this room has probably forgotten 95% of everything they've ever learned in school, I seem to be the only person here who is aware of that fact."  
"Listen here, Ian," his father was now angry. "The difference between you and your sisters is that they are at least able to retain that knowledge long enough until the examination day."  
"I agree, but doesn't that prove that learning it in the first place is a waste of time?"  
Mr. Clancy got up from the table and pointed an accusatory finger at his son. "Your problem is, you think you're so damn special."  
"Calm down dear," Pleaded his wife, but to no avail.  
Mr. Ian continued his tirade. " What do you think you'd be doing all day if you weren't in school?"  
"Um, riding my bike, maybe learning stuff on the web..." Ian couldn't believe the surrealism of the situation. It was if he were once again getting yelled at by coach Bert.  
"What? Learning stuff on the web!?" His father was now very furious. "Every time I pass by your room, it looks to me like you're always playing video games on the web. What the..."  
Ian's mind drifted off, just like it did every day in school. If it's pointless to learn something you're just going to forget in a week, then it's even more pointless to listen to somebody screaming about what you already know.

**7:09 pm, Rita's House**

Phoebe arrived just a bit late. Rita introduced her around, and once all the formalities were out of the way, took her into a den in the back of the house, that her father liked to call his video library.  
"Feast your eyes on this" Rita declared, while pointing to all the VHSs and DVDs that were on shelves that stretched from wall to wall and ceiling to floor.  
"Whoa, this room really looks like a video rental centre."  
"My dad is a big classic film fan. Personally, I've always had a little trouble getting into them, myself. They're too draggy..."  
Phoebe looked at her inquisitively, "Classic?"  
"Any serious film made prior to 1967." She turned to her Phoebe. "and that, my friend, is exactly what I was thinking we would do this report on."  
Phoebe was confused. "You just said you have trouble getting into this stuff. "  
Rita smiled broadly. "Just trust me."  
"Alright, so what exactly are we going to do?"  
"Debating the merits watching classical movies."  
"I'm still in the dark."  
"Don't worry, after you've seen a few of these things, it'll become self explanatory. Grab a handful of DVDs. For some reason, my dad has them sorted by actors. You got your Hayworths over here, your Gables over here, your Cagneys over here..." Rita picked out a DVD of The Roaring 20s. "This, I'm not sure."  
Phoebe started picking DVDs randomly from various different shelves, until she had all she could carry. Rita did the same, and the two teens headed to Rita's room, to view them on her computer screen.

**9:02 pm, Trish's Bedroom**

"Alright, where do we begin?" Trish was sitting in front of her computer, fiddling with an on-line web game.  
Betty was lying idle on Trish's bed, her legs dangling over the side, staring at the ceiling, obviously not excited about the assignment. "Well, I suppose you could start by googling the words 'Home Video' into the search engine, and see what comes up."  
Trish did so and read aloud. _"Prior to the late 1970s, most feature films were only viewable in re-releases and television broadcasts. The home video market changed all that. 20th Century Fox delved into their archives and make theatrical films available for home use...."_  
Betty cut her off. "You know on that site, articles of this nature usually have a timeline you can click on that'll summarize the whole mess. Try going to that page."  
Once again, Trish complied, "Ah, here it is: _1975, Beta. 1976, VHS. 1978, Laserdisc. MCA and Warner Brothers enter the market. 1979, Paramount and Columbia enter the market. 1980, Disney..bla, bla, bla."_  
"Alright, enough already." Betty sat up. "So we now know what time frame we're talking about. Around the late 70s. This is not telling us much about the industry's cultural effects on humanity. Try picking out a random search engine, type in early home video. and see what happens."  
Trish followed Betty's instructions, and much to her horror, a huge batch of pornographic pop-ups appeared simultaneously. "Eeeuuuu! Look at all this rubbish!"  
Betty was now looking over Trish's shoulders, and laughing. "Oh man, we should've seen that coming. I think you might have accidentally stumbled on to a better idea. Perhaps we should just give a presentation on the merits of adult entertainment." Betty laughed continuously as she spoke. "Would you like to take the pro or the con position?" "Well, Mrs. Pinny would certainly give us an A for originality, but...." Suddenly Trish stopped what she was doing and nearly jumped out of her seat. "Oh...my...God...!" She looked in disbelief at what just appeared on the monitor.  
"What is it?"  
"Take a look at this! Tell me if you're seeing the same thing I'm seeing."  
Betty glanced at the screen, and her jaw dropped. "It can't be...that's just way too far a coincidence."  
"What should we do now?"  
The two girls just stared at the unbelievable site before them for a few moments, then Betty spoke. "We really should give Rita a call and tell her about this."  
"That, I can agree with," said Trish as Betty picked up the telephone, and dialed Rita's cell.

**9:02 PM, Rita's Bedroom**

"I'm so bored!" After a couple of hours or so of viewing samplings of the DVDs, Phoebe's eyes were beginning to glaze over. "So far, all I've learned from this stuff is that in the 30s, 40s and 50s, nobody can really act..."  
"...And that black people were only chauffeurs and maids. Racist!" Rita continued what her friend had started. "And the handicapped didn't exist at all...And neither did teenagers. You see, this is what makes this such an easy target...Easy for you anyway. I need to cook up some sort of argument defending this nonsense."  
As the movie goes on, Rita did a lot of explaining.  
"How do you know all this?" asked Phoebe.  
"I watch this stuff with my dad all the time. He did the explaining."  
Phoebe was perplexed. "Let me ask you something. If we had access to a working time machine, and were able to make ourselves magically materialize somewhere in New York's in the 1930s, do you honestly believe we would be overhearing real live humans talking in this manner?"  
"Oh, surely not. This is apparently how people thought gentiles spoke in those days."  
Rita's cell phone rang.  
"Hello?"  
"Rita, it's Betty. I'm over at Trish's."  
"Hey, how's it going? Is everything okay?"  
"Is Phoebe in the room with you?"  
"Yeah." Rita was now sensing something slightly foreboding in Betty's voice.  
"Listen, we need to talk to you for a couple of minutes alone." her apprehensive tone was enough to convince Rita to not ask any further questions.  
"Phoebe, I've got to go talk in the other room for a couple of minutes."  
"Take your time," Phoebe reassured. "There's still quite a few of these things I haven't taken a look at yet."  
Rita went out into the hall and closed the door behind her. "What's this all about."  
"Trish and I were looking for information on the home video industry, and tried out a search engine that gave us a lot of porno pop-ups."  
Rita found this somewhat amusing. "Well that's kind of understandable, considering the subject matter. You know you can easily prevent stuff like that by adjusting the security settings at the..."  
"That's not what we're calling about." Betty cut her off. "Rita, this is going to sound too crazy to believe, but one of these pop-ups features a picture of a woman on her knees in a leather thong, with her face turned towards the camera, and...and..."  
"And what?" Rita was now getting annoyed at Betty's cryptic delivery.  
"...And we are 99% positive that the woman in this pop-up is Phoebe's mother."  
Rita paused for a moment, absorbing what the voice on the phone had just told her. "Is it a recent photo?"  
"Definitely not," Betty replied. "As a matter of fact, she looks about twenty years younger and a few pounds lighter. It would appear to us that the woman had a whole other life before Phoebe was born. And a pretty sorted one at that."  
Rita remained composed. "Have you tried clicking on it?"  
"No, Trish won't do that. She's paranoid about computer viruses."  
"Understandable." Rita thought for a moment. "I've got an idea. Tell Trish to just run the cursor over the ad and write down the URL it leads to. It should be in the lower left part of the screen. Then E-Mail the link to me."  
"Hold on" The muffled sound of Betty talking to Trish could be heard over the receiver. "She did it."  
"Good. Does the phone you're talking on have a loud speaker thing?"  
"Uh....yup."  
"Turn it on, I want to talk to both of you at the same time."  
Betty did so.  
"Listen you guys," Rita whispered. "For all we know, Phoebe might not know anything about this, and it's probably not our place to enlighten her. At least not until we know a little more about what's going on."  
"Well," Trish interjected. "You might want to start by checking out her mom's website. I have a feeling she's selling a lot more than just 'instructional videos'."  
"Yeah," added Betty. She and Trish were now both giggling. "It would appear that back in the day, this woman had a little more than her fair share of 'alpha males'."  
Rita rolled her eyes. "Do you think that pop-up leads to her website?"  
"The pop-up leads to someplace called _XXX DVD Outlet_." Trish responded. "We'll leave it to you to figure out whether or not that's the place."  
"Alright. I've got to get back to our assignment. I'll keep you guys posted."  
"Bye." The two spoke in unison.  
Rita re-entered the room to find her friend viewing a scene from High Sierra.  
"Man, this Bogart character is really a one trick pony," Phoebe observed. "In every film he's in he plays the same guy."  
"You'll find that to be true of most of the big stars of that era. They really didn't have actors that disappeared into their roles in those days. Back then, people were mainly paying to watch familiar faces inject their own personalities into different situations. Clark Gable was always Clark Gable, and Rock Hudson was always Rock Hudson."  
"That is really weird when you think about it," observed Phoebe. "Yeah, hey Phoebe, can I ask you something?" Rita prepared to change the subject.  
"Uh huh." Phoebe continued to look at the screen as she spoke.  
"Have you ever checked out your mom's website?"  
"She showed it to me once," Phoebe didn't seem at all unnerved by the question. "I don't recall it being much to look at. Just a typical small business site."  
"Have you ever checked it out on your own?"  
"No. To tell you the truth, I've forgotten what the URL is. I guess it just doesn't interest me."  
Rita decided that now was not the time to press the matter any further. Phoebe could be covering up for her mother, or she might genuinely be innocent. For that matter, the picture in the pop-up that Betty and Trish saw, might very well be just some woman who happens to look like a younger version of her mom

**10:09 pm**

Rita's mother gave Phoebe a lift home. As soon as the two of them left the house, Rita immediately went to her E-Mail, and clicked on the link that Trish had sent her. She heard the front door open. Phoebe only lived a few blocks away, so it only took a few minutes to drive there and back.  
"Hey mom!" She called from her room.  
"Yes?" Her mother entered the room.  
"Take a look at this."

Her mother put on her glasses. "Alright, if I might ask an obvious question, why would you be interested in exploring a website that sells adult paraphernalia?"  
"Because I have good reason to believe that Phoebe's mother owns and runs this website. Phoebe claims that she sells 'instructional videos' of some sort, and I've got a sneaking suspicion that that's a euphemism for something else."  
"Well," her mother sighed. "Rita, most people would consider this to be a demonstration of poor parenting skills, but I'm just going to assume that you won't be too traumatized by whatever pops up." She reached for the mouse and clicked.  
Rita instinctively recoiled at what was now being displayed on the monitor, but her mother had an entirely different and unexpected reaction. She started to laugh.  
"Ewww, that's not funny! That's my friend's mom!" Rita was now also having a little trouble not laughing.  
"Oh my," giggled her mom, as she enlarged a few pictures of the DVDs. "I believe that these are mostly old films from the 1980s. It would appear that your friend's mother has had a bit of a foggy past, and is still capitalizing on it."  
"I wonder if Phoebe is genuinely innocent and really believes that her mother is selling some sort of 'instructional' videos."  
"I've got news. There are some people who actually would consider these things to be...'instructional.' At any rate, if you want my advice, I think it's best not to say anything to Phoebe. When you come right down to it, _her_ business is really none of _ours_." Rita's mother started to laugh again. "I'm just wondering what I should call her mother, should I run into her at the P.T.A. meeting in a couple of weeks... _Mrs. Shan_ or _Mata Hari_."  
"Mom, don't even joke about that." Rita was surprised to discover that she was a lot more squeamish about these sorts of things than her mother. "The problem is that my friends Betty and Trish already knew about this."  
"Look here Rita, while this is not exactly something to be proud of, as far as I can see, the woman is doing nothing illegal. She's an adult, running a business that caters to adults. I'm the one who might be doing something illegal by allowing you to view this."  
"Believe me, this is not something I ever want to see again." Rita grabbed the mouse, hit the X in the upper right-hand corner, and the website disappeared. "There is something else about Phoebe's mom I think you should know, however."  
"What's that?"  
"She gives Phoebe a lot of weird advice."  
"Such as?"  
"She's one of these people who thinks that the quality of a human being, directly correlates with how wealthy they are. I don't think she would allow Phoebe to hang around with any boy who's parents don't make as much money as she does."  
"Well, it could be that she's scared of Phoebe winding up leading the life that she's led. She's divorced, right?"  
"Yes."  
"My guess is that her ex-husband was probably a complete bum, and she's worried that her daughter is going to make the same mistake." She paused. "Look, the fact is, it's not our business to tell other people how to raise their kids."  
Rita reached for the phone. "Well, I've got to give Trish and Betty a call and have a talk."  
"You do that." Rita's mom got up to leave. "Don't stay up too late. It is a school night, you know."

 | June 18th

Ian knew he would be spending all day looking over his shoulder. All during third period, Becker was glaring at him, occasionally running his index finger across his neck, indicating that something bad was going to happen at some point soon. When the bell rang, Ian bolted for his locker. He wanted to get there while the hall was still bustling with kids. He grabbed his lunch, and also the textbooks for his next two classes. This way, he wouldn't have to make any return trips to the locker, even if it meant stretching his backpack to its limit. He's a bit relieved to be there as if anybody were to start beating him up, he knew there would have to be a credible witness to the fact that he didn't start it. Not seeing Felix or Becker anywhere, he assumed that they both must be eating in the cafeteria.  
As soon as the bell rang, he made his way to the next class. Ian was making his way down the hall at a brisk pace when a bathroom door suddenly swung open, and a hand reached out, grabbed his arm and yanked him inside. Before he knew what had happened, Felix slammed him into the side of a stall and whacked him in the face with the back side of his hand This sent him tumbling to the ground. It was then that he noticed that somebody was guarding the door.  
"Who's a loser now?" Felix came towards him again.  
Ian knew his only chance would be the element of surprise. He pretended to be half-comatose. As soon as Felix was close enough, he managed to kick him hard enough in the shin to cause the 9th grader to let out a yell, and fall down on his knees. He could hardly believe he suddenly had the upper hand. Quickly looking around, he noticed his backpack lying on the floor, with the books still zipped inside. He grabbed it by one of the straps, and flailed the books at Felix's head...thrice. It was enough to knock him out...unconscious.  
He now approached the other boy, brandishing his backpack in a menacing manner. "You've got one second to get away from that door, or you're going to end up like him, " Ian could hardly believe he was hearing those words coming from his own mouth.  
As it turned out, the only reason the boy was still standing there was because he was paralyzed with fear. Finally, he gulped and ran out of the door. For once, Ian was in a winning but precarious situation. If Felix regains consciousness, he would be too embarrassed to mention that he'd lost a fight with the village idiot. However, if he didn't regain consciousness, the other boy was a witness to his murder...not that that meant anything. He couldn't imagine anybody taking a gangster like that seriously, assuming the guy could even talk.  
Ian now decided to do what any hot blooded teenager would do under these circumstances. Get out of the school. This was something Ian had never done before, but every man has his breaking point. It's not like he will be missing the classes. He was terrible at all those subjects and everybody in those classes hated him, especially the teachers. As far as he was concerned, he was doing both them and himself a favour. Ian walked outside, unlocked his bike, and deliberately rode off in a direction he wouldn't normally be heading. At this point, he wasn't even fazed by the idea of a police manhunt for him, should Felix's condition not improve. He had no friends, no hope and no future. He was even considering pedaling up the mountainside and jumping off.

1:45 pm, The School Play Rehearsal

"Alright, I want to see all actors needed for act three, page 52, on the stage. This means you two." Mr. Adam, the Drama coach pointed at Rita and Ricky. Rita and Ricky were the two romantic leads.  
"Do you think you two know your lines well enough to not ruin the play?"  
"I'm pretty sure I do," said Ricky, as he made his way to the stage.  
"I'm not as sure as he is, but I'll give it a try," was Rita's reply.  
"O.k. Ricky, you are already in the room, and Rita is going to enter from the right," ordered the teacher. "And by the way, you two are aware that this is the scene that involves a romantic kiss. Do you two feel comfortable with that?"  
Rita answered with an assured smile. "Oh, Ricky and I are old buddies. I think we can handle it." She winked at Ricky, who was now blushing.  
Actually, the two had known each other for about a year, and Rita didn't quite know what to make of him. A nice kid, but a bit geeky. He was tall, way too thin and wore braces too. Although Rita wasn't grossed out about having to kiss him, she wasn't exactly excited about it either. It was all just part of the play.  
The two stumbled through their lines for a couple of minutes, and then came the moment of truth. When she put her arms around him and moved her lips towards his, he clasped his lips together tightly and started to shake a little.  
"Uh Ricky, what's wrong?" Rita was a bit puzzled by his behaviour. "Do I have bad breath or something?"  
Once again, he began to blush. "No Rita, it's just that this is the first time I've ever kissed anyone like this."  
The moment he said this, all the other students burst out laughing, causing him to blush even more.  
One of the boys in the class quipped, "Hey Mr. Adam, would you like me to go up on stage and show this boy how to kiss a lady?" This brought more laughter from the gallery.  
"Hey, I'll volunteer for that too," cracked another kid. Eventually, every guy in the class chimed in with similar remarks. There probably wasn't a guy in the school who wouldn't give up everything he owned to be in Ricky's shoes at this moment. Why on earth was he behaving this weird way?  
"Alright everybody settles down," The teacher finally broke up all the laughter. "This is a class where people are supposed to learn how to act. Nothing more than that. The other Romeos please behave yourselves." Of course, Rita was taking this all in stride. She was so used to guys staring at her, that nothing seemed out of the ordinary...With the exception of Ricky. It's one thing to have never kissed a girl before. But to admit it out loud in front of an entire class is really too much. Much to Ricky's relief, the bell finally rang, and his humiliation was over. Before they exited the stage, he suddenly remembered that he had something to give her. "Rita..."  
She turned around. "Yes?"  
"I know this is short notice, but I have something I keep forgetting to give you." He handed her an envelope.  
"What's this?" she asked as she opened it.  
"It's an invitation to my birthday party, which is tomorrow afternoon."  
Rita looked up at him, "You're only twelve?" She was astonished.  
"Yes I am. Why do you look so surprised?"  
"To tell you the truth Ricky, I just assumed that you already fourteen. Man, you are tall for twelve!"  
He handed her another envelope. "Would you do me a favour, and give this to Phoebe? Of course, she's invited too."  
"Yeah, I can do that. I'll see you there."  
"Thank you so much."

1:03pm, 15th Street

Ian found himself passing a small private school with a pretty large yard, surrounded by a chain link fence. Within that fence were about ten or eleven kids about his age, either on roller-skates, skateboards or BMX bikes like his. There were a few of wooden ramps set up. Nothing much, but everybody was making the most of them.  
For a minute or two Ian just watched them all, thinking maybe he'd learn something. One kid there was especially good at steamrolling, which was a somewhat an advanced move, requiring a natural sense of coordination that Ian doubted he had. Finally, he decided to try copy what he was seeing, starting with a simple hop. Even that proved to be a big problem to him, as his bike flew out from under him. Maybe something that didn't involve leaving the ground would be less dangerous. He tried a simple spin, which sent him head first into a lampost. Luckily, he was wearing his helmet. This was definitely not going too well. Finally, Ian just attempted a simple wheelie, which sent his bike shooting forwards, while he landed hard on his behind....painfully.  
Ian sat there for a moment, both frustrated and sore. He was about to get up and get his bike when he noticed that at about five of the kids had stopped what they were doing, and were now lined up behind the fence, staring at him. There was about a five second awkward moment of silence from both sides. Finally, one of the boys behind the fence spoke up. "Need any help?"  
So, they were taking pity on him. That's cool. At this juncture in his life, he could use a little sympathy.  
"Yes," was his simple answer. "As a matter of fact you may help me out." Ian got up and retrieved his bike. Another kid pointed to the gate, and Ian entered the yard. "Are you sure this is o.k.? I would think your teachers might be a bit suspicious of some stranger entering your school grounds?"  
"You're right," explained one boy, who appeared to be a year or so older than the others. "But it seemed that you appear to be a danger to no one but yourself." The boy extended his hand. "My name's Polo."  
"My name is Ian," he shook it.  
"Ian what?"  
He paused, and then said with . "Just plain old Ian. So this is what's considered physical- education at this school?"  
"We asked for it."

"I might as well introduce you to everyone," said Polo. He went around introducing. They were all friendly bunch of kids. "So where are all your teachers?" asked Ian.  
"Inside, probably having coffee and doughnuts," answered Polo. "Since none of them really know anything about freestyle biking, they sort of left me in charge,"  
"They seem to feel he has leadership skills, though I have my doubts," interjected Sonia.  
Ian immediately took a liking to her. She was slender and cute, in a tomboyish sort of way.  
"So Ian, what's your story?" Polo resumed the conversation. "Shouldn't you be in school right now?"  
Ian thought for a moment, and then just decided to tell part of the truth. "Well, I'm terrible at history and math, and the teachers hate my guts. I just decided that it would be mutually beneficial for all of us if I just didn't show up for a couple of days."  
"You don't seem like the sort of guy who would ditch school," observed Polo. He was already thinking to himself that the bruise on the side of Ian's left eye looked like it came from something other than falling off a bike.  
"You're right, up until today, I wasn't. Every man has his breaking point..."  
Freddy interrupted. "Well, would you like me to show you how to do a bar spin without falling on your ass?"  
"Yes, please do."  
"Watch how I lean forward and maintain a steady speed." Freddy proceeded to execute the simple move a couple of times."  
"Alright, I'll give it a try, and you tell me what I'm doing wrong." Ian gave it a try, and somehow managed to topple over sideways. He immediately got up again, ready to give it another try.  
Sonia grinned and whispered in Freddy's ear, "I'll say one thing for this guy. What he lacks in coordination, he sure makes up for in toughness."

Ian continued to take lessons for the remainder of the hour, actually managing to learn a few tricks along the way. It was turning out to be one of the most productive days of his life. The morning was filled brutal violence. The afternoon was filled with making friends and learning some new skills. At two o'clock, the kid's phys-ed (or more specifically "recess") was over and they all bid him goodbye. Ian told them all he'd be back tomorrow at the same time, unless something else turned up.

10:09 pm, Ian's Bedroom

Ian had so much to ponder as he lay back on his pillow. When he arrived home that afternoon, nothing out of the ordinary happened. No calls from the school or the police asking about his non-appearance in fourth, fifth or sixth period classes. Nothing about Felix's fate. Did he regain consciousness? Was he okay? If not, who discovered him lying unconscious on the restroom floor? If so, what did Felix tell everyone about why he was late to class? If Ian were to attend school tomorrow, would he be met by scores of police officers waiting to arrest him for assault? Obviously Felix would be even angrier at him now, assuming he didn't suffer a severe concussion and forget everything that happened. Of course, there was also the other boy to take into consideration. Would he be a snitch, or would Felix instruct him not to tell, to avoid the embarrassment of losing a fight with the school's designated loser?  
One thing was for certain to him. Life was teaching him lots of things. He then fell asleep in no time.

---

 | The next day

8:02 am

Ian decided to go to school as usual. It was all a bit queer. As if nothing out of the ordinary had happened at all. He walked by Betty and Phoebe, who would normally give him some sort of angry gesture. This morning, neither of them seemed to even notice he was there. As he passed them, he managed to hear a snippet of conversation.  
"...So Felix is going to be in a neck brace for the next few days."  
"What exactly happened to him?"  
"It seems the floor of the boy's bathroom was wet and he tripped..."  
Bingo! His decision to attend the school was worth it. Now he knew for certain that Felix was either incapacitated or not there at all, so he wouldn't have to be watching his back as much. It was also obvious that Felix was embarrassed enough about losing a fight with him to lie about it, and make sure that the rest went along with it. Once again, Ian arrived at his locker at the same time as Rita.  
"Hello Rita."  
Rita grabbed her books and walked off without saying anything as usual. Some things never change.

11:33 am  
His first three classes went by without incident. Ian wolfed down his lunch, and decided that today, he wouldn't even wait for the bell to ring. He quietly made his way over to where all the bikes were locked, got on his, and rode off, somewhat bravened by the fact that he had got away with it once before.  
Ian arrived at the private school to find the same cast of characters that had greeted him yesterday. Before he had a chance to say "Hello," they all actually said it to him first, and called him by his first name...his correct first name. If only they had any idea how much Ian was reeling from being shown this simple common courtesy. Leaving Alamanda middle school and entering the yard of Hasting was essentially like exiting the bowels of hell and entering the land of fantasy-land.  
"Ready for today's lesson?" asked Freddy.  
"First let's see if I can still remember everything you taught me yesterday."  
Ian spent the next hour having the most fun he had ever had in his life. These kids seemed to enjoy the novelty of having someone they could take under their wing, and show the ropes to. Before departing, Ian made sure to let them all know that if there was ever anything he could do for them, to just ask. He offered to bring them all a pizza the next time. They smilingly said they'd take it into consideration.

4:25 pm

"Hurry up Ian!" he heard his mother yelling from outside the bathroom, where he was looking in the mirror and fumbling with his tie. He passionately hated getting dressed up in a suit. "We're going to be late." "Yeah yeah..." Was his plaintative response. He finished up and came out. "I'm still not sure why I have to go to this thing. I don't even know Ricky all that well."  
The event he was talking about was Ricky's birthday. Erma and Mabel were also attending. Nobody in the family was particularly enthusiastic about going, but because Ricky is the mayor's son, Ian's parents felt it was obligatory.  
"I told you," answered his mother. "He was at yours, and it wouldn't look right if you weren't at his."  
"Of course he was at mine," observed Ian. "If everybody shows up this evening, there's not going to be any place left to sit."  
"I don't want to hear any more sarcasm. Everybody's already in the car waiting for you."

As the Mayor started saying something about religion or other, Ian's mind and eyes instantly began to wander, just as if he were in another boring class at school. Although he had never said it out loud, religion meant nothing to him. Ian just started to look around to see if there were any familiar faces in the crowd. He didn't have to look for long. Sitting about two isles back towards the middle of the hall, were Rita and Phoebe and their mothers. The moment he laid eyes on them it became obvious that at least Phoebe was already aware of his presence. She showed him the finger. She wasn't looking directly at him, but no doubt had Ian in her peripheral vision. The angry smirk on her face said it all.

It was then that Rita whispered something in Phoebe's ear, left her seat, and exited the hall. Probably going to the restroom, Ian figured. Suddenly he had an idea. He knew that the lady's room was on the side of the hall where his family was sitting, and if he were to exit the door that they came in, she would have to pass him in the lobby to get to it. Mabel was sitting next to him, and he whispered in her ear, "I'll be right back." With that, he got up and headed for the exit.  
As soon as he entered the lobby, he turned left and started walking. Sure enough, Rita appeared around the corner, walking right towards him. As their paths crossed, he greeted her with his usual mantra, "Hello Rita." And as usual, her response was to continue to ignore him. At this point Ian was downright indignant. It's one thing to pull this sort of crap in school, but this was the community hall, where everyone is supposed to be nice to one another. There was no way he was going back into that place. He opened the door, managed to get his younger sister's attention, and motioned her to come over. As Mabel approached, she looked perturbed.  
"What are you doing?" Mabel was giving him the same kind of disapproving glare he was used to getting from his parents and teachers.  
"I'm leaving."  
"You're what!?"  
"Tell Mom and Dad that I've gone over to Steven's to finish an important class project...which by the way, happens to be the truth."

Mabel shook her head "They're going to be pissed."  
"I know, but there are just too many people in this audience who hate my guts, and believe me the feeling is mutual. The fact is, Ricky doesn't know or care whether or not I'm here, and I'm sure his dad doesn't either. I'll see you all this evening."  
Ian stormed out of the building vowing never to return. Luckily, Steven lived fairly close to the hall, and he didn't have too far to walk. At this point, he no longer cared if his parents disowned him. For once, he was his own man. Walking at a brisk pace, it only took about fifteen minutes to arrive at his friend's house. Ian knocked on the door and Steven's mother answered.  
"Hi Eon. Come on in. Steven's in his room."  
Ian didn't even bother to correct her. By this time, he realized that it would just be an exercise in futility. He went directly to the room in the back of the house.  
Steven was sitting at his computer writing something or other. He looked over his shoulder and saw Ian, who was still wearing his suit, although he had loosened his tie a bit. "Hey, you didn't have to get dressed up just for me."  
"Steven, I've decided what we're doing tomorrow, and it's not going to take much time to put together. The subject practically writes itself."  
"Alright. And what would that be?"  
"Religion."  
Steven thought about that for a moment. "Which religion did you have in mind?"  
"All of them, Steven. I don't care. I don't even think we really need to work together on this. Just rattle off a page on all the positive contributions you can think of that organized religion played in the history of mankind, and I'll go home and do the opposite on my computer. I know you're smart enough to throw this together in one evening, and you'll just have to trust me when I tell you that I'm not going to have any problem with it either."  
Steven really wasn't adverse to the idea, but he did have a question. "Ian, is there any particular reason that you think I'd be better at writing the pro than the con?"  
"No Steven, it's just that you're going to have to do it by default. I can't think of any pros, and I don't have enough of an imagination to invent any."  
With that, Ian bid his friend goodbye, and went home to work on his speech. He knew there would be much to pay when his family arrived, and wanted to get as much work done as possible in the mean time. Also, he needed to rehearse out loud in front of a mirror. His presentation was going to be the only one in the class which would not involve reading from any sheet of paper.

7:03 pm  
Ian was rehearsing in front of the full length mirror in his room, what he would be his speech before the class the next day, when he heard the family car pull into the driveway. He sat down at the computer and started to type something, thinking it would look like he was doing homework when his mother or father walked into the room. His dad swung open the door and immediately ripped into him.  
"Hey bi head! What's the matter with you? Do you realize how embarrassing that was for us, you leaving like that?"  
Ian was a bit fired up by the speech he was rehearsing, and decided to take on his father. Ian swivel chair swung around, "Your embarrassment is unfounded. I am very sure that nobody but you knew I was there, or that I had left."  
"I spoke to Mayor after the ceremony, and he was wondering why you weren't there!"  
"No he wasn't," contradicted Ian. " If he said anything, it's only because you probably walked up to him first and said, 'I'm sorry that my idiot son isn't here'."  
His father was indignant. "What happened? Usually, we have trouble getting you to do your homework, and now you're using it as an excuse to..."  
"It's not just the homework!" Ian cut him off. "I'm going to be frank. I hate Ricky! I hate everybody there!"

---

Another new day

11:15 am

There was a lot of nervousness in Sociology class, the day that the pro and con assignments were to be presented. Betty and Trish's debate about home video went over particularly well. The final two entries of the day would be Rita and Phoebe's, followed by Steven and Ian's.  
Rita gathered her papers, and took her place on the podium behind the lectern that was set up at the front of the class.  
"As Mrs. Pinny previously stated, prior to the 1950s, when it came to entertainment, the choices for most people were extremely limited, and sometimes, nonexistent. Of course there were radio networks that featured music, comedy and drama, but even they had their limitations. For people at extremely rural areas, there was often poor reception or no reception at all. Bla, bla, bla.  
The class just sat there as if they were expecting her to say more. They loved to see her talking. They don't even cared what it was all about. Then, she suddenly stopped. Not quite sure of how to quell the awkwardness of the moment, Rita just said, "Um...The end." She sat back down to the sound of polite applause.  
Mrs. Pinny was pleased, but with a few reservations. "Miss Rita, while I appreciate your articulate delivery, I can't quite give you an "A," because you were supposed to be the pro, and there was a lot more con in your argument." She turned to Phoebe. "I can't wait to hear your counterpunch, Miss Phoebe."  
Phoebe stood up, faced the room, and her body language immediately signaled to everyone that her delivery was going to be a lot more angry and aggressive than her partner's. She went on with full vigour. Finally, as she took her seat to the sound of uproarious applause, Mrs. Pinny spoke. "Hmm, quite interesting. That was a good one.."  
She now looked at Steven and Ian. "Alright, I guess that leaves you two as the final entertainment of the day."  
Steven stood up, placed his papers on the lectern, adjusted his glasses, and proceeded to read in his usual studious manner. "I will now, to the best of my ability, make a case for the necessity of organized religion."  
Rita muttered sarcastically under her breath, "Good luck."  
"Quiet Rita," the teacher reprimanded. "Go on, Steven."  
Steven's performance was superb. His arguments were all based on facts. Solid facts.

"You know," observed Mrs. Pinny, "that is the second pro argument in a row that utilized the phrase 'necessary evil.' Lots of back-handed compliments going on here. Alright Mr. Ian," Her voice now turned a bit passive as it usually did whenever she spoke to Ian. "Your rebuttal please."  
Ian calmly stood up and walked to the front of the classroom. He had a mischievous smirk on his face, and the fact that he wasn't carrying any written notes was not lost on the teacher. Instead of standing on the podium behind the lectern like everyone else had done, he instead just turned around and addressed the class. What a professional act!  
"Who in this class believes in God? Let's see a show of hands."  
Mrs. Pinny was not amused. "Mr. Ian, do you have any kind of a prepared presentation?"  
"I most certainly do," Ian's voice now took on an air of pride. "And I've memorized all of it. When you handed out these assignments, you didn't specify that they had to be delivered while standing at that podium. All you said was that they had to be between three and eight minutes long." He pointed at the clock on the wall. "I believe I still have seven minutes and ten seconds left."  
Mrs. Pinny rolled her eyes and sighed. "Proceed."  
Ian turned back to the class and repeated, "Come on, let's see a show of hands. Who in here believes in God?"  
There was a smattering of hands that went up in the air. Ian picked up a chalk eraser from the blackboard. He then walked up to one girl by the name of Gina, and proceeded to improvise. "So Gina, you believe that there is a great and powerful invisible entity who is all knowing and watching over us at this very moment?"  
Not sure whether to take Ian seriously or not, Gina just nodded her head and said, "yes I do" in a flat voice.  
"Alright, who do you think is more powerful, God or me?"  
Mrs. Pinny began to interrupt, "Mr. Ian..."  
Ian quickly spun around and cut her off "I believe I still have six and a half minutes to make my case! For all I care you can give me a big fat 'F' for this assignment, but I demand the right to finish it!"  
Mrs. Pinny just shook her head in exasperation. At this point, she was pretty sure that she, in fact, was going to give him a 'big fat F,' but begrudgingly decided to let Ian go down in flames, if that was his wish. "Alright, go on."  
He resumed his rant. "Who is more powerful, God or me?"  
"God" said the Gina, folding her arms.  
"Oh yeah?" Ian placed the chalk eraser on the corner of her desk. "Let's see this all knowing, all powerful God of yours move this eraser from this end of the desk to that end of the desk."  
"Ian, you are such a..."  
"Husshhh! I still don't see that eraser moving."  
"Why would God want to move that eraser?"  
"To give an upstanding Christian like yourself the opportunity to make an Atheistic guy like me look foolish."  
Gina rolled her eyes and shook her head. "If ever there were a task that did not require any divine intervention..."  
Laughter erupted throughout the classroom.  
"Look," Ian picked up the eraser, and moved it across the desk himself. "The fact remains, that you're mighty God couldn't even perform this simple task, and I just did. Just one of many things we all can do that this imaginary God can't. Caught my drift?"  
Ian now turned his attention to the rest of the class. "My friend Steven over there just put forth the proposition that the belief in a higher being can make a low-life behave himself. And I say that I have a solid proof that the remark isn't true. My living proof is sitting right in that chair over there."  
He pointed directly at Becker, who immediately responded menacingly. "Ian, If you know what's good for you, you will not drag me into your lame-ass attempt at performance art."  
"Becker, you may not realize it, but you just proved my point by threatening me like that." Ian addressed the class again. "Everybody check out the size of the crucifix hanging around this guy's neck. You know he's got to be Catholic. Protestants usually only wear dainty little earring sized crosses, but that one looks almost as big as the one they hung Jesus on. And do you think that's going to stop him from slamming my head into a locker later on....like he's done just about every day for the last month?" Ian's voice was now starting to get angry. "Of course not. As a matter of fact, that's what Catholicism has always been all about. One can do just anything that suits one's fancy, as long as one goes to mass the following Sunday to ask for forgiveness. I'll bet that's what Becker over here is thinking to himself at this very moment." Ian now tried a spontaneous impersonation of Becker, "'I'm going to beat the crap out of Ian this afternoon...but I'll still avoid going to hell as long as I recite a few holy prayers after doing it."  
Much to Ian's surprise, this actually got a smattering of chuckles from the class. Whether or not they were laughing with him or at him didn't matter. Ian no longer cared about what anyone thought of him. This was now for him more of a quixotic odyssey than a homework assignment. Ian now went for a full-fledged assault on Becker's dignity.  
"I know for a fact, that up until the 7th grade, Becker over here didn't go to a public school. He went to St. Ignatius, where I'm sure he got the crap beaten out of him by some other pious Christian....So now he's taking it out on me."

Ian suddenly noticed a bit of a change of ambiance throughout the classroom. Could it possibly be that they were actually finding him entertaining? With less than a few minutes to go, Ian decided it was time to zero in on the target that would serve as the climax to his stand-up routine. He moved in front of Phoebe's desk, leaned over, and looked her directly in the eye.  
"Phoebe, I noticed that when I asked everybody whether or not they believed in God, you were one of the few people who in fact, did not raise your hand."  
Phoebe glared back at him like a junkyard pitbull.  
"Phoebe, may I be so bold as to inquire what the hell you were doing in the hall last night?"  
Because Ian was leaning right in front of her, she was now mostly hidden from Mrs. Pinny. This enabled her to show the finger again. Ian pointed to her raised finger and continued, "I mean besides that." This caused a few scattered giggles throughout the class. Ian was now starting to actually believe that he just might be able to win this audience over completely if he kept up the momentum.

"Well since you've decided to shut up, I guess I'll just have to tell everyone why you were there. It was basically the same reason that I was there and she was there," Ian nodded towards Rita, who was sitting next to Phoebe. "Because Ricky is the Mayor's son and our parents all told us that it 'wouldn't look good' if we didn't show up."

Ian looked up at the class. "And that, my friends, is religion in a nutshell. Making appearances at appropriate occasions to show off what nice clothes you have. It's not all that much different from a celebrity red carpet photo show off. We are comfortable being hypocrites

"Watch your language Mr. Ian," interrupted Mrs. Pinny. "You've got less than a minute to wrap this up."  
Ian decided to end in a broad flourish. "To sum it all up, religion isn't about doing what you personally think is ethically correct, it's all about impressing others. It doesn't matter whether or not you're really a good person. The object is to make everybody think you're a good person." Ian stared hard at Phoebe for one last time. "And believe me Phoebe, if the rumours I've been hearing over the years about your mom have any weight to them...for her that is going to be one herculean undertaking."  
As Ian turned to walk back to his seat, all hell broke loose. Phoebe picked the textbook off of her desk and reached back to throw it at him, but Rita managed to grab it from her. She then lunged at Ian, but Betty and Trish both managed to tackle her. Several chairs and desks were knocked over, when the lunch bell suddenly rang.  
"Everybody freeze where you are right now!!" Mrs. Pinny was furious. She turned to the four girls. "I want the four of you to pick up those chairs and desks right now." Rita, Betty and Trish relented, while Phoebe just stood up and brushed herself off. She was still scowling at Ian, who hadn't quite made it back to his seat.  
"Alright, everyone listen carefully. I want everybody except for Ian and Steven to stand up and file out of here in a slow and orderly fashion."  
As the class followed orders, Ian piped up.  
"Mrs. Pinny, Steven is completely innocent," Ian shouted defiantly, his face growing red. "We worked on this project independently of one another. He had no idea that I was going to do what I just did. If you're going to punish someone, you punish me, not him!"  
Although Mrs. Pinny was taken aback by the Ian's disrespectful attitude, she still maintained enough composure to realize that what he was saying did make sense. She looked over at Steven, who was now literally trembling, and nodded towards the door.  
"You're free to go,."  
"Thank you." Steven didn't hesitate, he slipped out just as the last student exited. Mrs. Pinny slammed the door behind him.

11:33 am

Out in the hallway, the conversation was predictable.  
"Ian is dead meat," Becker said furiously. "I will kill him."  
"Not if I can do it first," countered Phoebe.  
Trish's look on the situation was a little more jovial. "Well one thing's for certain. If either of you are going to kill him, it isn't going to happen between three and five o'clock any time soon. I think Ian's looking at detention for the rest of this year and next year and the next."  
"Ian, have a seat."  
Ian sat down at a desk in front of the room, and folded his arms over his chest. At this point, Ian was certain that he was either going to be either expelled by the school, beaten up by the students, or perhaps even both, before the day was over. Amazingly he was at peace with both of those scenarios. Everybody seemed to hate him, and even his family seemed to have pretty much given up on him. Now Ian was seriously contemplating which would be the best way to kill himself, before anyone else had the chance to. Maybe he could somehow climb on top of the water tank tower and jump head first into the town's parking lot.  
"Ian, were you planning on eating in the cafeteria today, or did you bring a lunch?"  
He was somewhat confused by the teacher's calm demeanor.

"Uh, I brought my lunch."  
"And I assume it's in your locker?"  
"Yes ma'am."  
"Here," The teacher handed him a piece of paper and pencil. "Write down your locker number and combination. I'm going to go get it for you. After that crazy stunt you just pulled, I am seriously concerned about your safety. For the time being, I don't want you leaving this room, or even opening that door. Understood Ian?"  
"Yes ma'am," was his simple response, as he handed her back the paper.  
Mrs. Pinny disappeared out the door. Ian had no idea what to expect when she returned. He just sat there and stared at the desk for a few minutes. Finally Mrs. Pinny re-entered with his lunch bag, and placed it on the desk where he was sitting. Ian wasn't particularly hungry.  
"First of all," the teacher began, "There's something really important I have to ask you, and I expect an honest answer."  
Ian shrugged his shoulders, "Why would I lie about anything at this point?"  
Mrs. Pinny sat down on top of her desk. "I need to know if what you said about Becker is true."  
"What did I say about him?"  
"I'm referring to the part about him banging your head into lockers. Principal Raoul has been going nuts trying to figure out what is causing all these dents in the lockers, and none of the kids seemed to know anything either."  
Ian thought carefully about his response. "Oh, it's true alright, but to be fair, Becker certainly isn't the only one whose been shoving me into lockers over the last year."  
"Who else?" Mrs. Pinny's eyebrows were now furrowed.  
The wretched boy paused before answering once again. " Ma'am, I think you should know that it would take considerably less time for me to compile a list of people who haven't shoved me into a locker at some point or another."  
The teacher now got off the desk, pulled up a chair and sat down at his level. "Why haven't you ever told anybody about this?"  
"What good would that do? Everybody hates me. Even you seem to be more concerned about the condition of the lockers than me. If I turned into a whistle blower, everybody would hate me even more...If that's possible."  
Mrs. Pinny now leaned forward. "Listen Ian. We don't hate you. It's just that we're not sure what to do with you. Virtually every teacher who has you in their class tells the same story. You're always sitting in the back, either sleeping, daydreaming, or staring at girls. Boy, don't you have any desire to better yourself?"  
"Well ma'am that's a bit like asking someone in a wheelchair if they have any desire to ice skate." Ian sighed. "There's really only one good thing I can say about myself. And that's that I'm honest. If I wasn't honest, I'd be sitting here making up excuses. The fact is, I have no excuses. I sit in the back of the class and daydream a lot, because I'm a moron with no attention and no further wish."  
"You know something," Mrs. Pinny interrupted. "Up until today, that pretty much would've been my assessment of you as well. However, after watching your performance just now, I'm now going to have to revise that opinion." 
"Whoa! So now you think I'm dangerous too?"  
This brought a smile to her face. This was the first time he had ever seen her smile. " Ian dearie, I can think of many adjectives that may apply to you, but dangerous is definitely not one of them. Listen, I don't want to give you the impression that I approve of what you did in class today, but it did show a side of you that I've never seen before. As a matter of fact, I don't think I've ever seen any side of you before, other than the lazy bummer."  
"You want me to come into class and rant and rave like a lunatic every day?"  
"No, you're missing my point. You may not have done what I assigned you to do, but you did do something. And I might add, with an awful lot of passion too. Considering the lackadaisical manner in which you usually go about doing homework, Ian, you definitely caught my attention." She paused for a moment. "Ian I don't know if you noticed or not, but when Steven stood at that podium, he pretty much expressed the same negative opinion of organized religion that you did. The difference was that he didn't have any anger in his voice. He only spoke of a supreme being in a very general sense. Steven didn't specifically insult any religion the way that you did."  
"That's probably because his parents don't aspire much to be religious."  
"Ian, I've met your father on several occasions, and he seems like a nice enough person to me. I don't recall your sister ever complaining about him..."  
This instantly infuriated Ian. His voice now went up several decibels. "Look ma'am, if it makes you happy, I've got another sister who's just like the first one. She'll be coming along in a couple of years. The school will be proud of her."

Ian grabbed his lunch, stood up, and started to make his way towards the door. "I think I'll go let Becker beat me into a coma. Then you won't have to deal with this idiot anymore!"  
"Ian, sit down!" she grabbed his arm, and pointed towards the seat. "Please."  
He reluctantly complied.  
Realizing she had just hit a huge sore spot with him, she tried to speak as calmly as possible. "Ian, I think it would be best if, instead of going to your next two classes, you went to see the school's guidance counselor. For the last couple of days, you haven't fully attended the classes.."  
"So you know about that?" He was a bit surprised that this fact didn't seem to have any legal consequences. "So why didn't you call the cops."  
"Because we didn't have to. The principal at the Hasting school informed principal Raoul about some kid named 'Ian' who was joining their kids every day during their fifth period recess."  
"How did he find out about me?" Ian asked.  
"Obviously to me that one of your little biker friends must have informed him."  
"Why didn't he come outside and toss me out on my ass?"  
"I guess the kid who informed him must have also put in a good word for you."  
Ian thought about this for a moment. "Well, I did offer to buy them all a pizza if they let me stay."  
Mrs. Pinny shook her head and sighed. "Ian, you have no idea how unique this situation is. You know, when a kid is truant, it's because he's either using drugs, spraying graffiti all over the place, or committing armed robbery. This business of sneaking off a school campus for the purpose of sneaking on to a different school campus is never heard of...And it's a reflection of our failure as much as it is yours."  
"Well, what do I have to do to bring extreme sports to Alamanda?"  
"Ian, that's not going to happen any time soon, however beginning next week, we are going to try and put an end to this business of yours, or anyone else getting beaten up in the halls. Meanwhile, You're going to see a guidance counselor."  
"Let's get real," Ian was grinning. "Guidance counselor is another word for a shrink."  
"Either way Ian, it gets you out of your next two classes without having to ditch school. Which I'm sure you'll appreciate."  
Ian couldn't help but agree with that. "So what's he going to tell me that I don't already know?"  
"Boy, if I knew that, there would be no need to send you to him." There was a long awkward pause. "Ian, there's something that's been weighing heavily on me, and I feel I owe you a big apology."  
Ian looked up at his teacher quizzically. What could she possibly have to be sorry about?  
"I've been fully aware of the way Phoebe frequently...gestures at you in class. I've been letting it slide because I feel sorry for her."  
"Why in the world would you feel sorry for her?"  
"Because she comes from a broken home, Ian, and I don't think she's a very happy person. However, that surely doesn't give her the right to go out of her way to make you as miserable as she is. From today onwards, she is not getting away with that any longer." Mrs. Pinny moved closer to him and started to speak very softly, almost whispering. "Ian can I trust you to keep a secret?"  
Ian was intrigued. "I guess so."  
"Boy, if it ever got out that I said this to you, I would probably be in big trouble, so I need you to swear to me that you'll never tell anyone that this conversation took place."  
A hint of a smile now appeared on his face. He was flattered that the teacher had enough faith in his character to trust him with extremely confidential information. "You have my word ma'am."  
She looked to the left, then to the right to make sure there was no one there, and then whispered in Ian's ear. "I've met Phoebe's mother. Those rumours you've been hearing about her are all true, and then some. The woman's the biggest nut on the planet."

"Wow!"

1:32 pm

Ian was led into an room that was adjacent to the principal's office, and had to wait an hour and a half before the counsellor actually showed up. Luckily, he had brought a couple of good books with him to kill the time. The man finally walked into the room and introduced himself.  
"I'm Mr. Zivan."  
"I'm Ian."  
The two gentlemen exchanged handshakes.  
"So, my man," The guidance counselor began. "Let's get down to it. Your Sociology teacher tells me that you're basically a good kid with a deep sense of humour, and virtually no attention span. Would you consider that to be true?"  
Ian slumped further down into his seat. "I'm not so sure about the 'good kid' part." Ian also wasn't quite sure of exactly what to make of this guy.  
"Well, let's see, do you smoke son?"  
Ian sheepishly shook his head no.  
"Ever drink? Drugs? Ever been in trouble with the law?"  
Ian kept shaking his head, while staring back at the guidance counselor like he was more lost than the people he was supposed to be 'guiding.' What was his point?  
"Son, I've also heard that you hardly have any friends. Why do you suppose that is?"  
Ian squinted his eyes and answered him in a droll manner. "Gosh, I don't know. Could it be because I don't smoke, drink, or use drugs?"  
This brought a smile to Mr. Zivan's face. "Your teacher warned me of your interesting wit."  
Ian rolled his eyes and looked off in another direction. He had no idea what this guy wanted from him.  
"Ian," the man continued. "I want you to know that I only work here on Fridays. I'm at a different school every day of the week. Two of those schools are in the inner city."

He looked intently at the boy's eyes. "Son, there, I usually have to deal with kids who often don't even know who one or both of their parents are. A lot of them have father's who are in prisons, and mothers who are selling drugs..."  
"Look, with due respect sir," Ian cut him off abruptly. "Would you please spare me your sermon about how 'fortunate' I am to come from a good family? The simple fact is, I don't have any friends and I'm not good at schoolwork because I'm from a genetically inferior specimen. My sisters got all the looks and the brains. I may be a dim-witted buffoon, but at least I'm man enough to admit it."  
Mr. Zivan begged to differ. "Ian, I beg to differ on that. I've only known you a few minutes, and I can already tell you're an intelligent and articulate young man. There's just some sort of mental block that's keeping you from being able to pay attention in class. That's what we need to find out."  
Ian now had an idea. He wondered how one of the arguments he's had with his father would play out with this guy. "You know something? I know exactly what's keeping me from paying attention in class. May I ask you three questions, Sir?"  
"Of course, Ian."  
"On Christmas Eve, in the year 69 A.D., Rome's emperor Vitellius was assassinated. Do you know the name of the emperor that succeeded him?"  
"I must confess, I do not."  
"Have you ever been curious to know the name of the emperor that succeeded him?"  
"Once again, I must confess that I haven't."  
"Then why the hell do you think that I would be!?..Or should be!?"  
Mr. Zivan didn't let Ian's sudden outburst faze him. "Alright, so I guess European history isn't your favorite subject. Or mine, for that matter, Ian. May I ask if there is anything you're interested in?"  
"Yeah sure man, I'd be interested to know what it's like to not live in fear of getting the shit beaten out of me every day."  
"Yes, Mrs. Pinny told me about that," The man leaned back in his chair. "And I've got an idea that I hope you'll be open to."  
"What's that?" Ian was skeptical.  
"Well, son. I could recommend to the principal that you try home schooling for a week."  
"I see. In other words, I'm being expelled. Not that I have any objection to that."  
"No, don't jump into conclusion just yet. If you were being expelled, you would have no say in the matter. I'm recommending some home tutoring on a trial basis, because I believe that you would prefer that as well."  
"Sir, may I ask who I am going to be 'home tutored' by? My Dad works, and we're currently not on speaking terms anyway. My Mom probably knows less about the Roman empire than I do."  
"Right. I'm going to recommend a professional private teacher..."  
"Just great," Ian cut him off. "Yet another expense that my folks are going to yell at me about."  
"Don't worry. It won't cost that much. It'll only be for three hours a day, and it's deductable."  
"Err..,Why only three hours?..Not that I'm complaining."  
"Because my son, that's all that's required by the state when you're getting a one on one education. They've somehow figured out that a half-hour's worth of individual attention on a subject is approximately equivalent to an hour's worth with a class of twenty. My guess is that there's going to be a certain amount of homework required that'll take up some of the missing three hours."  
Ian was actually quite pleased with this new arrangement. "Great. So shall I go home now?"  
"Nope. I believe you're legally obligated to stay until three o'clock today." Mr. Zivan looked at his watch. "It's a quarter to two right now, so I suggest you show up at your final class, whatever that is."  
"Oh no. It's phys-ed," frowned Ian.  
The counselor could tell that this wasn't one of his favourite classes. "Well son, look at the bright side. I managed to get you out of two classes today." He winked at Ian. "You can at least thank me for that."  
"He he, I do appreciate it, but probably not nearly as much as my math teacher does."  
Ian decided to arrive at his 6th period p.e. class fifteen minutes early. This would enable him to change into his gym clothes without having to deal with the likes of Felix and others in the locker room. He finished dressing, just as the previous class was entering the locker room. Coach Bert was certainly surprised to see him sitting out on the field earlier than everyone else, especially because he hadn't seen him at all for the previous two days.  
"Ian, were you dismissed early from your previous class or something?"  
"Yes sir."  
"Where have you been the last couple of days?"  
"Out riding." Ian had no reason to lie about it.  
The coach scratched his chin. "Ian. You know what, I want you to take a jog around the school right now."  
"So, do I need to have to do that twice?"  
"No. Listen, I've just decided that for your safety, you should be running separately from the rest of the class. I've been overhearing some of the locker room gossip during the last two periods." The coach leaned over and got in Ian's face. "I don't know what it is you did earlier today, but I am very sure that it wouldn't be a good idea to let you and the rest of this class out of my eyesight simultaneously. Get moving now!."  
Ian quickly stood up and started jogging the usual route. He had barely been fifteen feet away when he heard the coach holler from behind him.  
"And no stopping to look at the girls in the gymnasium! You understand?"

2:01 pm

As Ian rounded the final corner, he saw the rest of the class seated in rows. Most of them started booing the moment they saw him approaching.  
"Alright, now it's your turn," the coach barked at the students. "All of you, get running."  
As they did, Ian sat himself down in their place.  
"Okay, Ian. You know the routine by this time." As Ian started going through the usual regiment of warming up, the coach started speaking to him. "I'm glad you got here early today, Ian. You'll be doing everything about ten minutes ahead of the rest of the other kids, which means I can dismiss you early. The last place you need to be today is in the showers with Becker."  
"I thoroughly agree with that. Thank you sir." Ian huffed while doing sit-ups.  
There were a lot of angry looks as the other kids approached. Ian went out of his way to not make eye contact with any of them, and the rest of the period was reasonably uneventful, though a little more tense than usual. When the coach dismissed him at ten minutes to three, everybody applauded his departure.  
Ian changed into his regular clothes as quickly as possible, and carried his gym clothes with him, along with his books, knowing that he would not be returning to the place for at least a week. He threw everything into his backpack, and made a rush towards his bike. As Ian was unlocking it, the irritating whining of an ambulance siren kept getting louder and louder, until the vehicle passed right by him, and on to the school grounds. He briefly had to cover his ears, it was so loud. He noticed that it was heading straight towards the gym. Ordinarily, he would've been curious enough to follow along to see who had been hurt, and if it was serious. Today however, his own safety took precedence. He was really anxious to get as far away from the place as possible, lest anybody start following him.

6:08 pm

The discussion around the dinner table in the Ian house was more subdued than usual that evening. Ian and his father were now barely acknowledging each other's existence. His mother and sisters were busily pattering away about some dress they saw in a department store window. When everyone had finished, his mom purposely asked him to help her dry the dishes, while everyone else went about their business.  
"So son, you're going to be here at home for the next week or so."  
"Oh? Well, somebody must have told you.."  
"Ian, we got a call from your sociology teacher. She said you put on quite a performance in class today."  
"I did the assignment the best way I knew how." Ian wasn't sure whether or not his mother was angry. She maintained a passive face as she spoke.  
"She said that you definitely have a future of some sort in the field of public oration. Maybe becoming a politician?"  
"Alright mom, so I'm not exactly the ivy league material. What else isn't new?"  
"Ian, I really hope this week works out well for you. Home tutoring is certainly a less embarrassing alternative for all concerned."  
Ian was numb. "Look, mom, my sisters are superb, There's something you can brag about to your friends the next time my name pops into the conversation. I don't mind being left out." He threw the dish towel down on the sink. "And mom, if you need me, I'll be in my room."  
Ian flipped on the small portable television that was in his room. He fell back on his bed, and just lied there idly, staring at the ceiling. The t.v. had been arbitrarily tuned to an educational channel. There was a nature documentary on. The narrator was pontificating about the necessity of weaker animals to die early, so that the stronger may survive. Tears fell from Ian's eyes like rain.

4:20 pm, Emergency Room

"You're extremely lucky, girl." The doctor finished wrapping the plaster cast on to Rita's shoulders and arms, while her mother stood watching. "You're only going to have to wear this for a week the most."  
"A week!?" Rita was horrified. The thought of her arms being outstretched like that for the whole week was terrifying.  
Rita's mother had a much more realistic view of the situation. "Rita, do you realize how common it is for girls who fall off of balance beams to be permanently disabled or comatosed?"  
"Or even killed," added the doctor.  
Her mother continued. "I was once thirteen Rita dear, and believe me, I can imagine what must be going through your head right now. You're feeling like a captive bird, don't you?"  
Rita looked down and said nothing. There was no need to, as she was saying it for her.  
"Well look," she continued. "I'm going to tell you something that you already know, but it is worth repeating. Imagine what it must be like to be a quadriplegic. And yet, there are tens of thousands of them living very full, productive, enjoyable lives. They are great authors, teachers and scientists. Compare that to your situation. So far apart, eh? You can easily walk, and move your fingers. In just around a week, you're going to be out of this cast and your arms will be fully functional once again. Isn't that wonderful?"  
Her mother continued. " I know you're the sort of person who likes to help other people. This week it's your turn to accept the help of others. I noticed, you're extremely popular, and you've got a lot of friends who love you very much. You know what Rita, for the last hour and a half, I've had to put both of our cell phones on hold. I'm too tired to answer.. The last call I took was from a girl named Betty. She is literally in a state of hysteria. She's a particularly close friend of yours?"  
"Yes, Betty! She's also in the school's gymnastics program," Rita replied. "Mena actually saw me fall off the beam. For all she knows, I might be in a coma right now."  
"Hurry up now. Call her!." Rita's mother pulled out her cell phone. "Calm her down."

Her mother held the phone up to Rita's face. It took less than half a ring for Betty to pick it up, and she still sounded frantic.  
"Betty, it's me...yes, I'm going to be alright...Yeah, I love you too. Listen, I'm going to be out of school and in a cast for about a week. Are you coming to visit me?...No Betty, not tonight. I've got to get adjusted to this thing. Yup, I'm not going to be able to move my arms for a week.... Betty, I need you to help me spread the word that I'm going to be alright. I don't want anybody worrying about me. Call Trish and Phoebe first...Okay, got to go now. Bye girl."  
Rita already was starting to feel a little better psychologically. Yes, she was going to be both incredibly uncomfortable, and helpless for a week, but not miserable.  
"Rita, I'm going to wait until we get home before I give your father a call."  
They both thanked the doctor and the emergency room staff, and they were off.

As was to be expected, Rita had a lot of trouble getting a full night's sleep. The simple act of rolling over in bed now required her to stand up first. She also slept without wearing any pajama bottoms, so as not to have to wake her mother to help her go to the bathroom. Little did the girl know, that this would turn out to be the beginning of an odyssey that would change her life in ways that stretched way beyond mere physical challenges.

 | Another morning

Ian spent a better part of the morning and afternoon with his new friends from the other school, practicing his BMX skills. On Saturdays, the Schoolyard at Hasting was teeming with cyclers, skateboarders and rollerbladers of every conceivable age, color, shape and size. It's a fiesta for the extremists.Slowly but surely, Ian was beginning to fall less and less, and acquiring more skills, as well as navigating the ramps with more panache. Finally, he had discovered an athletic skill that he was reasonably good at, and actually had the potential to excel at. He began to have more confidence in himself. He had the talent. Here, Ian was treated as an equal. People only knew him as 'Ian.' Whenever he fell, there was always an arm reaching out to help him up, and if someone else fell close to him, he did the same. His only complaint about the place was that not many girls to be seen around. Polo wasn't in attendance this particular day, but Freddy and Sonia were. At around 2:35, Ian and the two of them cycled down to the mall, where he treated them to a slice of pizza like he had promised earlier. It was the least he could do for all their help.  
"So which one of you told your principal about me?" asked Ian.  
"Actually Ian, he was looking out at the yard from his office window, and noticed an unfamiliar face," explained Freddy. "When we all went in, he asked if you were related to any of us. I believe it was Polo who told him that you were just some kid from Alamanda, who prefers biking to whatever it is they do over there for p.e."  
"Freddy, is there any chance I can meet him sometime? I'd like to thank him for not chasing me out of there."  
"Sure, he's a pretty cool guy," said Sonia. "So did you get in a lot of trouble when he called up your principal?"  
"Strangely enough, no I didn't." Ian looked down. "The fact is, the faculty at my school just considered this to be an exodus from my problems."  
"Are you telling us you have a reputation for being a trouble-maker over there?" Sonia asked, skeptically.  
"'No, Sonia. Troublemaker' isn't quite the right word. I think 'screw-up' might be more accurate."  
Freddy and Sonia both took another bite of their pizza slices. They were at a loss. How could anybody have so much ill will towards such a good guy?  
"Can you give us a specific example?" asked Freddy.  
Ian swallowed a bite of pizza. "Remember the way I was attempting to do some moves on my bike, before you invited me on to the yard?"  
"Yup."  
"Don't laugh but that was pretty much an accurate representation of my skills at history and math, as well."

Meanwhile, the situation at Rita's house was a little different. Phoebe, Betty and Trish had all come to visit, and the girls basically all did what they normally did when they didn't have any homework projects to work on. They watched a little TV, and played a couple of computer games. Rita had to get used to using the joystick at arm's length, which was awkward, but workable. Eventually, she got used to the idea of relying on the other girls to feed her . Drinking was a bit easier, via the use of a straw.  
The fair will be opened tomorrow, and Rita wouldn't be going, for numerous reasons. Pretty much impossible in her current state to enjoy the games. Mainly, she just would feel too vulnerable with her arms outstretched like a zombie. This was principally going to be a week of catching up on revision, movies, and keeping her blog up to date. Typing with one hand was of course, proving to be a bit of a chore, but one she had no choice Her dad was out of town on business, so, there was no way of getting around the fact that her mother was needed at the family restaurant on Sunday. That was the one day that most of the other workers there had their day off, and it was much too short notice to hire any experienced kitchen help. Rather than hire some stranger to look after Rita, her mother had reached a deal with the three girls. She offered them each a salary to take turns staying at the house in two hour shifts tomorrow. Trish would be there from 11:00 to 1:00, Betty would be there from 1:00 to 3:00 and Phoebe would be there from 3:00 to 5:00. So the three of them wouldn't be at the fair together during the day. At least after 5:00 they could all regroup there, if they wanted. The fireworks display didn't start until 6:30.  
Little did Rita know that the next day would turn out to be even more challenging than the previous one had been.

---

Next day

10.50 am

Trish showed up at Rita's house promptly. Rita's mom headed out to the family restaurant, and the two girls immediately started talking about the usual stuff that girls talk about when they get together. Boys, fashion, make-up, music. After about twenty minutes or so, the girls sat down in the main room.  
"Oops, this thing sure is out of the way," observed Trish as she eyed the big grandfather clock.  
"I know Trish," acknowledged Rita. "A very distant cousin died a couple of weeks ago, and left it to us in his will. If you ask me, all it does is get in the way. Who would be glad to have this monstrous monument stuck in their path? As soon as my dad gets home from his business trip, we're going to sell it to an antiques dealer."  
The two girls switched on the television, and channel surfed for a few minutes, before settling on what appeared to be a made-for-television light comedy, which was perfect for the occasion. They need something to laugh at. Neither of them really felt like getting lost in anything too intellectual at the moment, and besides, Trish would probably wind up having to leave before it ended.

11:43 am

After about forty minutes, both the girls grew tired. Rita was about to suggest that they change the channel, when Trish decided that now would be a good time to bring up a subject she had wanted to discuss yesterday, but just couldn't find the right moment.  
"Rita, can I ask you something personal?"  
Rita immediately sensed the seriousness in her voice. "Sure, put the television on mute." She turned, and gave her friend her undivided attention. "What's up?"  
"I noticed that you were laughing pretty hard during Steven and Ian's class assignment last Friday."  
The thought of this, instantly brought a smile to Rita's face. "Even if you think those two are a couple of geeks, you've got to admit that their presentation just amazing."  
"Well, I will admit it certainly wasn't boring."  
Rita was now intrigued by Trish's somewhat pensive facial expression. It just might've been the first time she had ever seen the usually jovial girl not smiling. "So what is this personal question you wanted to ask?"  
Trish paused for about five seconds, and then just blurted it out. "Rita, do you believe in God?"  
Rita made it a point to look her friend right in the eye. "No." This induced about ten more seconds of awkward silence.  
Finally, Trish broke the quiet, "I suppose you don't want to elaborate on that . Fine with me." Trish picked up the remote control, and resumed watching. After about ten seconds, Rita decided that she owed her friend a little more of an explanation.  
"Trish, shut that off," instructed Rita. She did so. " The fact is, I do not believe there is any kind of superior being watching over us, and if there is, nobody owes him, her, or it, anything." Rita looked off in a different direction, and muttered half to herself and half out loud. "You reach a certain age in life, and it's time to stop having imaginary friends."  
"Well I do believe in God," Trish didn't feel like letting the conversation die, just yet. "And I'm really thankful for my health, my family and my friends...including you."  
"Okay, but what about the people in this world who don't have health, family or friends?  
"Well surely Rita, I can understand why they wouldn't believe in God. I'm just a little puzzled as to why somebody as blessed as you wouldn't want to believe in him."  
"Well, Trish, I'm sure you've heard that famous expression, 'I was sad because I had no shoes, until I saw a man with no feet'?"  
"Yup, of course I've heard that."  
"I don't know about you, but if I were sad because I had no shoes, and then I saw some guy with no feet, I'd be even sadder."

"Funny for you to have to think in that direction." Said Trish.

"Rita, aren't you at least thankful that you have people who are willing to help you, while you're stuck in that cast?"  
"I don't owe any thanks to God for that, I owe thanks to you. Think about all the people who are incapacitated who don't have anyone to look after them while they're convalescing."  
Trish didn't know what else to say. She just switched the t.v. back on. Actually, she was not giving it any attention. Trish casually glanced out the window that was near her end of the couch. A lone figure was approaching on a bicycle in the distance. Even from all the distance at the end of the block, the brightly coloured striped shirt with the white collar made it fairly easy to guess who it was. In an instant, Trish decided that this was too good a coincidence to pass up. She suddenly jumped off of the sofa, and rushed towards the door.  
"Hey, where are you going?" asked Rita.  
"I'll be right back. I just saw something outside the window that might prove to you that there's a reason for everything."

12:10 pm

As Ian pedaled towards the fairground, he pondered what adventures or misadventures awaited him there. A worst case scenario would be bumping into Becker and Felix and getting double-teamed once again, this time in front of a massive crowd. Then again, perhaps he would run into Freddy, Sonia, Polo and the rest of the bikers, and at least have a pleasant afternoon, if not a successful one on the romantic side of things. He knew for sure that Steven would be there, and wondered if he managed to find himself some female companionship, other than Sheila.  
As he rounded a corner and proceeded down one of the many surrounding residential streets, suddenly, a familiar figure came bolting out of a grey house, waving her hand frantically in the air, attempting to flag him down.  
"Hey Ian! Stop!"  
It was Trish. Ian's immediate assumption was that she must live there. Now what on earth could she possibly want? The urgency in her voice made him wondered. As his bike grounded to a halt, she scurried up to him.  
"Ian, could you do me a tiny favour?"  
For a moment, Ian just stared at her blankly. Sighing, he finally spoke. " Trish, I'm probably going to regret asking this, but what?"  
"Look, my friend has both of her arms in a giant cast, and can't be left alone. I need to go and was wondering if you could look after her. It'll only be for another hour or so."  
Ian was understandably suspicious. "If it's just for an hour, then why can't you stay with this person yourself, Trish?"  
"Listen Ian, to be honest with you, I think this person will have a lot more fun with you," Trish winked.  
Ian's first instinct was to just flip her off and continue pedaling towards the fair. However, the humanistic part of his nature completely overpowered that instinct and he agreed to go back in the house with her, and see what she was talking about. Ian wanted to at least make sure that she wasn't leaving a completely helpless person alone. He locked his bike to a water meter that was protruding from the house, and they went inside.  
As soon as they entered the living room, for one very short awkward moment, he and Rita locked eyes. At least it was awkward for her. As Ian took in the unexpected sight before him, he instantly pieced together what had happened.

"So this is what that ambulance was doing at the school that day," he thought.  
Rita was completely puzzled. "Trish, what are you doing?" She reached over, and shut the television off.  
Trish now had a sly grin on her face. "Since this nerd proved to be so entertaining last Friday, I figured you might have more fun spending the next hour with 'what your name' here instead of me."  
"Ian." he repeated, although he knew it would be to no avail.  
Rita was perturbed. "You are kidding, aren't you?"  
"I most certainly am not. I told you, I believe there's a God...And thus, I believe that it's no coincidence that I happened to notice this guy pedaling by while looking out the window just now. Excuse us for a moment." She grabbed Ian by the arm, and led him outside, just out of Rita's earshot, and whispered real fast, "Alright Ian, I saw you coming and seized the moment. Now it's your turn to play on. Betty is supposed to be taking over at 1:00, but if you and Rita decided that that won't be necessary, call my cell phone. I'm meeting Betty at the carnival, and I'll just let her know that her services will not be required." Trish winked again.  
Ian couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Trish, why are you doing this for me?"  
She just smiled, and put her hand on his arm. "Don't get me wrong, Betty and I still think you're a pretty weird dude, but we don't hate you like Phoebe does. I've got a sneaking suspicion that the only reason Rita ignores you, is because she doesn't want to lose Phoebe as a friend. Now I'm off to the carnival. Remember...Seize the moment!" With that, Trish ran off towards the fair.  
Needless to say, one cannot even describe all the thoughts that were racing through Ian's head. For once, fate had been on his side. For the next hour, he was literally going to be with the girl of his (and everyone else's) dreams, and was desperately trying to think of what would be the best thing to say. Ian re-entered the house to find Rita still sitting on the couch, just staring off into space, with a beaten expression on her face.  
After a while, Ian decided to open with a wise-crack, "Rita, I'm really sorry that Trish has put you in this awkward position ." He sat down in a heavily upholstered chair directly facing her. "But I'll do my very best to make it a pleasant experience."  
Strangely enough, Rita still seemed to be avoiding looking directly at him. She just shook her head, leaned back, and seemed to be speaking to the ceiling. "I hate not being the master of my own destiny. I can't even decide anything for myself! Not even how to clean my ass!.." Realizing what she had just accidentally blurted out, she suddenly turned her face directly towards Ian. "Oh no, I can't believe I just said all that...I'm so embarrassed!"  
Think fast Ian. "Err.., Rita, there's no need to be." He now attempted to inject a lighthearted tone into his voice hoping that he would come across as reassuring. "I'm the same age as you, and a man too. To tell you the truth, the first thing I thought of when I saw your arms all stretched out like that was to hug you."  
Rita sighed. "You're not going to mention this to any of your friends, are you?"  
Ian answered with a tinge of melancholy. "Now that's a pretty redundant question. You, Rita, of all people, must aware of the fact that I don't have any friends."  
Once again, the room was filled with an eerie silence.  
Rita rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Fuuuhh! I can't help feeling depressed. What's bothering me is that everything was going so well in my life, and now this has to happen. There's an important gymnastics competition coming up soon...and an important softball game. I was supposed to have a good time with all my friends at the carnival today." Rita paused and looked downward. "Instead, I'm stuck here in this house with you."  
These words inspired Ian to try a different strategy. He stood up, reached for his hat and started towards the door.  
"Wait, Ian, where are you going?" Rita suddenly realized her mistake.  
"Listen," Ian answered. "I just want to do whatever it is that's going to make you feel better. There's really not a lot I can do about you being stuck in that cast, but I can at least remedy the part about being stuck here with me." With that, he exited the room.  
Rita quickly bolted up from the couch. "Wait a minute Ian...!" In her haste, Rita briefly forgot that her arms were in an outstretched position, forgetting to turn sideways as she approached the narrow door, her arms hit the walls on either side of it, knocking her flat on her back. This was the beginning of a journey of events that would drastically reshape both of their destinies. For a brief moment Rita laid there, looking up at the ceiling mentally processing what had just happened.  
A few moments later, she felt a slight movement all around her. Rita immediately knew what was happening. An earthquake was starting to build up. All of a sudden violent shaking caused the whole house to rock back and forth. Glancing over to her right, Rita saw a potential catastrophe about to unfold. That big grandfather clock was now beginning to tip in her direction. With only a split second to react, she managed to use her legs to scoot her body right up next to the massive timepiece just as it began to topple. It hit the ground with a massive thud, but because she was right next to it, she wasn't injured...just trapped underneath it. Finally the violent shaking began to subside.  
Outside the house, Ian was in the process of unlocking his bike when the earthquake hit. He was about to step away from the structure, to avoid a potential collapse of the front porch awning. Ian eyed the house carefully as the ground shook, now feeling extremely guilty about leaving Rita in such a vulnerable position. There was a slightly open window from which he could hear the sound of books falling and dishes breaking, and finally a large thump, just before the shaking stopped. When everything had finally settled, he could hear Rita's shreaking out loud and clear.  
"Ian!!! Help, I can't move!!!"  
Ian zoomed towards the door, which unfortunately had locked itself when he slammed it shut. As Rita continued to scream, he headed for the open window, and pulled himself up just enough to see what was going on inside. Upon seeing the girl trapped underneath the fallen big old clock, his adrenaline gland instantly shifted into overdrive. Ian somehow managed to shove the window all the way up and heave his clumsy body through it. Now trembling, he grabbed the bottom of the enormous clock, and with all the strength he could gather, began to lift it. It must've weighed at least three hundred pounds. Ian gritted his teeth and began to push as hard as he could on the massive object, its head making a scraping noise on the floor as he did. Once he was sure that she was cleared of it, he just dropped it, not caring whether or not it left a giant dent in the wooden floor.  
"Should I call a doctor, Rita?"  
Still reeling from her ordeal, she shook her head. "No, it didn't injure me at all, it just pinned me to the floor."  
As he helped her back on to the sofa, the phone rang. Ian quickly grabbed it, and held it up to Rita's ear and mouth.  
"Hello."  
"Rita, are you alright?"  
"Yeah, mom. I'm fine, but the house is not in a good condition."

"Rita, I'll deal with all that when I get home. We're insured. The main thing is that you and Trish aren't hurt."  
"No, we're fine. I take it the restaurant must look like a complete mess."  
"Fuuh! You can imagine. Besides all the broken dishes in the kitchen, a couple of those large framed pictures fell off of the wall, nearly injuring the customers.

"Alright mom, then I'll see you at around five o'clock?"  
"Yes Rita dear. You two keep safe and be very careful not to step on any broken glass."  
"We will mom. Bye."  
With that, Ian hung up the phone, and plopped back down in the chair directly facing Rita, propping his feet up on the fallen clock.

Finally, he leaned forward in the chair and began to speak firmly through tear filled eyes, as he peered directly into hers.  
"My name is Ian!" he declared in an almost defiant tone. He repeated himself once again, this time, in a slightly softer tone. "My name is Ian...And I know where I stand."  
"Rita, I know where I stand in life. There are some people who are real smart, some who are very athletic, and some who are good looking. You, are all of the above, and I am none of the above." Ian continued in a slow and slightly sarcastic manner. "I know that girls like you, like Phoebe, Trish and Betty prefer hanging out with big strong guys who they feel can protect them from harm. And I know that certainly isn't me. I've seen you play softball, and I've seen you on the uneven parallel bars. You are really wonderful."  
"Ian, I..." Rita started to interrupt.  
"Please Rita, just let me finish." Ian continued. "I'm a very empathetic person. I'm looking at you right now, and seriously thinking about what it must be like when you have to even scratch an itch. But compare your situation to mine for a moment. How long are you going to have to wear that thing, Rita?"  
"A week"

"Okay then. In a week from now, Rita, you're going to be back in school, resuming your life as a very popular individual. I, Ian the fool on the other hand, will also be returning to school in a week and resuming my life as a punching bag. " Ian stopped to wipe his tears. "Now I don't blame you for looking down at me. As a matter of fact, just about the only thing I've got going for me is an extremely keen sense of self awareness regarding the fact that I have nothing going for me. I may not have brains, brawn, or looks, but I do still have my dignity. Rita, I'll make you a deal. For the next hour we will show each other some mutual respect. Then, in a week from now, when we're back in school, you can resume your usual regiment of ignoring me, and we'll just pretend that today never happened."

Silence.

Ian gestured towards the front door. "Walking out and leaving you here to fend for yourself with your arms like that, would violate everything I stand for morally... "  
Once again, there was a brief, awkward silence. Finally Rita began speaking softly.  
"Hey Ian, Are you through? Can I respond?"  
Ian nodded.  
"I have so much I want to say to you...Please just let me get all of my thoughts out."  
After inhaling deeply, Rita resumed her speech, stopping to sniff every now and then.  
"Ian, five minutes ago, when I said that I was angry that I was stuck here with you, what I really meant is that I'm angry that I am stuck here...period. You just happened to be sitting in that chair, so I tagged 'with you' on to the end of it. If Trish had still been sitting there, I swear I would've said the same thing."

"But that doesn't explain..."  
"Please!" Rita continued. "This is my first year at this school. Last year I went to Beufort middle school. We just moved into this house over the summer, so now I'm in this district. When I first got here, the only two people I really knew were Phoebe and Ricky, because we all went to the same outbound summer-camp school. Now believe me, I'm usually not the type of person who only hangs out with a single small clique of friends, but Betty and Trish are really the only two people Phoebe has formally introduced me to...so far."  
As more tears rolled down her cheeks, Ian responded with more tissues. She continued.  
"Let me tell you, as people, the three of them have their pros and cons. What I like most about them is that with the possible exception of Phoebe, they come from good homes and aren't dangerous. I mean, none of them are into drugs, shoplifting, vandalism or anything like that. That's important to me. I knew a lot of people at my old school who were."  
"We don't have the problems here," Ian interjected softly.  
Rita looked down. "Even though I've only known them for about a month, I'm finding that I have a lot more in common with Betty and Trish than I do with Phoebe. She really gets on my nerves sometimes. Always hinting about 'who's cool and who isn't'."  
Ian sighed, "Needless to say, you're telling me nothing new."  
She looked back up at him. "Ian, you've got to tell me...have you ever done anything really awful?...Or at least extremely embarrassing?"  
Ian thought for a moment, "You think?"  
She continued, "I mean, why in the world people seems to hate you so much?"  
"I had already told you," Ian sank back further in the chair and counted on his fingers. "A: I'm stupid, B: I'm clumsy and C: I'm ugly. It's one thing to be cursed with one or two of those traits, but the whole combination...fuhh..you know."

"Now listen," Rita commanded. A: If what you did in class last Friday is any indication, you are a damn genius. B: You just lifted a three hundred and fifty pound grandfather clock off of me, and shoved it half-way across the room." She paused for a moment. "And C: I think you're pretty darn cute." A hint of a smile finally started to show itself through her tears. "You'll just have to take my word for that last one."  
Ian struggled vainly to suppress a half smile. "Thanks for your kind words." Feeling embarrassed, he glanced out the window.  
She gritted her teeth. "Alright, you look at me, Ian !."  
He immediately turned towards her, and they're eyes locked, once again.  
Rita continued, "Ian, I've got some very important things to say right now, and I want to look you right in the eyes when I say them."  
Ian was startled by Rita's behaviour.  
"For the last month, Ian, you have been saying hello to me every day without fail. And for the last month I have been saying nothing to you in return. You see,, I wasn't sure whether or not what Phoebe and half the 8th grade was saying about you really held any water...At the same time, I also never saw or heard you do anything that would inspire that sort of hatred. Not being sure whether to believe them, or what I was seeing and hearing, I decided to take the coward's way out. I am so sorry. Please forgive this coward, Ian!". She took another deep breath. "You not only came in here, but you tried to cheer me up..and in return, I insulted you. You're a much better person than I could ever hope to be."  
By this time, Ian had started crying again as well.  
"Ian, a week from now, when this cast is off and I'm back in school, I want you to sit right next to me during lunch...And I don't give a damn what anyone else has to say about it. From this moment on, anyone who isn't a friend of Ian , isn't a friend of mine."  
Ian smiled broadly through his tears, "Well, Rita, now that we've got all that straightened out, is there anything I can do for you?"  
"Yeah of course. You can give me a hug."  
Ian got out of the chair and walked around to the back of the sofa, and put his arms around her from behind. "Uh, Ian..."

"Yeah?"  
"I don't feel anything. You're just hugging the cast. Come and sit next to me on the couch."  
Ian obeyed.  
"Ian, now put your arms around my waist, and lay your head on my bosom."  
Once again, he complied.  
Ian didn't say anything. He just held her a little tighter.  
"Ian, you have no idea how frustrating it is, not to be able to hug you back right now." Rita laid her head on his, and they both sat in silence for a while.

12:33 pm

Rita's cell phone rang. Ian immediately grabbed it, flipped it open, and held it up to her face.  
"Hello?"  
"Rita, it's me," boomed Trish's familiar voice over the receiver. She was calling from the carnival. "You're going to laugh when I tell you what's going on over here."  
"Well, what happened?"  
"That big double ferris wheel contains a mechanism that automatically shuts it off when there's a big earthquake. It wouldn't budge. Phoebe and Betty have been stuck at the top of it for nearly twenty minutes now," Trish chuckled. "They are so angry."  
A big grin began to spread across Rita's face. "I hope they brought an adequate supply of food with them."  
"They do have their cell phones with them...which brings me to the golden question. I need to know if I should tell Betty whether or not she needs to keep her appointment with you in half an hour. Are you and Ian hitting off well?"  
"Hmmm,"

There was a slight pause. "I believe that answers my question," Trish had a smile in her voice.  
"Hold on a second," Rita turned to Ian. "By any chance, would you mind staying here for another four and a half hours?"  
Ian didn't have to think about this. "Rita, for you. I'll stay here for the next four and a half years, if you'd like."  
Rita spoke into the phone, "You can inform Betty and Phoebe that their services will no longer be required today."  
"Alright," Trish answered. "Here's the other golden question...should I tell them the reason they've been relieved of their duties, or make something up, Rita?"  
Rita thought about this for a few seconds. "You know what Trish? I'm going to leave that entirely to your discretion." "One last thing..." Trish had a parting shot.  
"What's that?" asked Rita.  
"Take my advice and disregard whatever Phoebe and half the 8th grade thinks. I've got a really good feeling about this."  
"Yeah, me too. I owe you big time Trish. Have fun at the Carnival."  
Ian closed the cell phone and put it down. "So what was that all about?"  
"Ian, you're going to love this. That big ferris wheel at the fair comes equipped with a mechanism that automatically shuts it down in the event of an earthquake. It worked, but unfortunately they haven't been able to get the thing started again. Phoebe and Betty have been stuck at the top for twenty minutes now."  
A broad smile now appeared on Ian's face. "Thank goodness the thing didn't tip over. I'm sure there must be a lot of other people on it who could've been hurt."

Ian once again sat down in the armchair facing Rita, with a leg draped over one of the chair's arms.  
"So, Mr. Ian sir," she began. "What exactly was it that inspired your speech?"  
"What speech are you talking about?"  
"Ian, I'm referring to that incredible stunt you pulled in sociology on Friday...which by the way, was brilliant."  
Ian thought about it for a moment, then spoke in a serious manner. "That was largely inspired by you, ma'am."  
"Me?"  
"I figured out that organized religion was a load of crap a long time ago. When I said hello to you and you blew me off, it was really the wind of inspiration. If there's a God out there, then that God was making fool of me."  
" Ian, do you and Phoebe have some sort of history that I'm not aware of?"  
He thought about this for a moment, then shook his head. "I've known Phoebe since the 4th grade. Back in elementary school, I don't really remember being particularly hostile to her. She was just another kid in the class. It wasn't until we hit the 7th grade that for some reason, she suddenly decided I was a devil."  
Rita was puzzled. "Ian, how on earth can someone who's known you for over four years, possibly not know your true self?"

"I've answered that."

"Ian, there's something else I'd like to ask you about, regarding your presentation in sociology." Rita now had a slightly cautious tone to her voice.  
"What's that?"  
She paused. "What exactly do you really know about Phoebe's mother?"  
He thought about this for a moment. "Actually, not a whole lot. I vaguely remember meeting her at a school open house, once." Ian nodded. "Whenever Phoebe's mother meet some other parent, the first thing she always asked was 'What line of work are you in?' and 'Does it pay well?'. Strange, the woman seemed to be obsessed with what everybody else's household income was."  
"Yeah," muttered Rita. "That's her alright."  
Ian's expression turned curious. "Do you know something about her that I don't?"  
Rita didn't feel like getting into that at the moment. "You know what, Ian? Let's change the subject. What about Betty and Trish? Have you known them since the fourth grade too?"  
"Nope, they went to a different grammar school. I've only known them since last year. So they never even knew me back when I was considered a regular kid. Only as the fool of Alamanda middle school."  
" You and I are exactly the same age." Rita was now trying to get him to smile again. "I take it the two girls sitting next to you at Ricky's party were your sisters."  
He nodded. "Erma's three years older than me and Mabel's a couple of years younger."  
"I'm an only child," lamented Rita. "I've often wondered what it's like to have sisters. Do you get along with yours o.k.?"  
Ian looked down. "They're both brilliant students."  
"You say that as if it's a bad thing."  
Ian looked up again, this time with an even more pensive expression on his face. "Rita, when you're an underachiever, your parents never let you forget it. When you're an underachiever with siblings who are overachievers, they really never let you forget it." Now Ian decided to change the subject to something a little more upbeat. "You know, for the last ten minutes, it's all been about me. Can we talk about you for awhile, Rita?"  
"Sure. What would you like to know?"  
"Rita, what's it like to be perfect?"  
"You know that's a ridiculous question..I'm not perfect."  
"And you know that you are." Ian cut her off. "Don't be so modest. I've seen you in class, in the gym and on the baseball diamond. Could there possibly be anything you're not good at?"  
"Well, I did try taking guitar lessons once. A complete waste of time."  
" Rita, how do you sit there in class and listen to Mrs. Pinny teaching in that monotone of her's without falling asleep? I sure haven't figured out how to do that."  
Rita grinned slyly. "Oh, you'd be able to stay focused on her if you weren't so distracted by the back of my head...at least Phoebe tells me you're distracted by the back of my head...and her's, and Betty's and Trish's." She winked at him.  
This managed to coax a smile out of him.  
"Well, I'm not even going to attempt to deny that, nor am I going to apologize for it."  
"Nor should you have to. There's no shame in being a normal guy."  
Ian paused. "Can I ask you a similar question?"  
"Yeah."  
"How the hell can you sit still and listen to Mayor drone on like he usually does? To me, it's like listening to a honking truck."  
"The Mayor? I don't listen to him at all. I just zone out. Your speech was way much better." Rita sat up a little straighter.  
By now Ian had really perked up. "Well, it's good to know that at least one person in Sociology wasn't offended by my spontaneous so called speech last Friday."  
"Ian, you know, there's something else I've been wondering about."  
"What's that?"  
"When you were hollering in Phoebe's face that particular day, I was sitting just right next to her. I thought for sure that at some point, you were going to give it to me next. Why didn't you, Ian?"  
"I just don't know, Rita."

1:00 pm

Rita turned and looked at him. "Ian, I've been dreading this inevitable moment all day, but there's something I need to tell you."  
"Uh oh, this doesn't sound good. What is it Rita?"  
Rita paused for a moment. "Ian, I've got to pee...Real bad."  
Alright, Ian thought to himself. Here's yet another chance to demonstrate what an easy-going all around good gentleman you are. Don't blow it. He stood up, and reached out his arms to help her up. "Okay, let us be matured about this."  
Rita nodded, and the two of them made their way to the bathroom. Because the toilet was in the corner, and her arms were stuck in an outstretched manner, Rita had to sit on it diagonally. Ian crouched down and did everything he could to unzip and unbutton her jeans in as casual manner as possible. He wasn't sure to leave the room while she was peeing or just stand there and wait until she finished. As it turned out, he didn't have to make that decision. The instant he pulled down her jeans and underwear, Rita sat down and started to pee. She must've had to go really bad. Ian decided that it might quell the strangeness of the moment if he were to joke about how strange it was.  
"Alright, I'll admit this is awkward. Would it be more appropriate for me to say anything at this juncture or just shut up?"  
Rita was understandably blushing. "Hang on Ian, I'm just about done." After about ten more seconds, Rita stood up. "Alright."  
Ian reached down to pull her pants back up.  
"Err, , Ian..."  
"Yeah?"  
"There's something else you've got to do."  
"What's that Rita?"  
"Grab a wad of toilet paper and wipe me dry."  
"Why? All you did was pee."  
Rita sighed and rolled her eyes. "Ian, girls wipe after they urinate."  
As he tore off a few sheets of toilet paper, Ian tried once again to lighten the moment. "I want you to know that I really appreciate you teaching me stuff about feminine hygiene." She chuckled a little. "Um, Rita, I'm sorry, does that tickle?"  
"Not at all," Rita shook her head in amusement at the absurdity of the situation. "Ian, do you realize that we've really only known each other for a few hours, and we're already doing something that most people who had been married for fifty years will probably never do?"  
"Well, I guess...No comment..."  
"Will you pull up my pants and flush the toilet dear?" Rita was now grinning.  
"Right up."  
Ian washed up, and the two of them made their way back to the couch. Now there was not a doubt in Rita's mind that everything Phoebe or anybody else had ever said about Ian was totally nonsense. From this moment on, she would consider him to be her most trusted friend.

5:03 pm

As the afternoon wore on, the two friends came to know each other well enough to stop talking about themselves and start talking more about normal things like favourite movies, television programs and music. Ian also decided it would be a good idea to clean up as much of the mess that the earthquake left as possible, even though Rita said it wasn't necessary. Ian thought it would make a good impression on her mother, and he was right. At 5:15, the front door opened, and her mom walked in with a bag full of groceries, to find her daughter and her new friend sitting on the couch. The television was on, and they were still using the fallen grandfather clock as a footrest, because it was simply too heavy to lift. Ian immediately stood up like a perfect gentleman.  
"Hello..?" While the woman was a bit surprised to see a boy she didn't know instead of Phoebe, she was even more surprised to see her daughter with a big smile on her face.  
"Hi mom. This is my friend Ian. He stopped by to say hello, and decided to stay. I called the girls and told them they could all stay at the carnival if they wanted."  
"Hi" Ian said. "Can I help you carry those?"  
"I was wondering whose bike that was outside." She handed the bag over to him. "By any chance would you be Sharon's son?"  
"I am ma'am." Ian carried the groceries into the kitchen and came back. "You know my folks?"  
"Not that well, but I do recall talking to them at the last P.T.A. meeting. It was some months back."  
"A lot of the dishes and glasses got broken," Rita interjected. "Ian cleaned up most of the mess."  
"I'd still be careful when walking in the kitchen," Ian suggested.

"Oh dear," the lady said, eyeing the fallen clock. "Rita, I guess we'll have to wait till your father gets home before we move this."  
"Meanwhile, it makes a good footrest mom." Rita smiled.  
Her mother could not believe how Rita's mood had changed since the morning. "Ian, will you be staying for dinner?"  
"Thank you very much ma'am, but tonight is my mother's birthday, and they wants me home to watch her blow out the candles."  
"Well Ian, thank you for cleaning up the house and taking care of my daughter. Perhaps you can have dinner with us some other time."  
"He definitely will be," insisted Rita. "Ian, let me walk you outside."  
"It was nice meeting you ma'am."  
"The pleasure was mine, Ian." She said with a smile.  
The two of them walked outside and were greeted by a beautiful sunset. Ian unlocked his bike. "Well, I'm glad that daylight savings time doesn't end until this evening. This way I don't have to paddle home in the dark."  
Rita wasted no time. "Ian, give me another hug." He put his arms around her waist and she kissed his cheek. "You have no idea how frustrating it is for me to not be able to hug you back, Ian."  
"You'll be able to in a week. Believe me, I'll still be around." He winked at her and paddled off into the sunset.

7:09 pm  
Rita and her mother had a nice dinner in as normal as possible under the circumstances. They talked about the restaurant's earthquake damage, and her father's return from his trip in a few days. Later, the two of them watched a little television, and her mom gave her a bath. After toweling her off and getting her into a nightgown, with specially cut armholes to accommodate the cast, she decided it was time for a discussion of a more personal nature.  
"Rita, there's something I need to talk about with you."  
She could tell by the slightly more serious tone of her mother's voice, that it wasn't just about the earthquake.

"Yes, mom?" The two of them sat down on Rita's bed.  
"First of all dear, I'm so happy that you're feeling a lot better than you were this morning."  
"Yeah, well Ian put me in a good mood. He's really a great guy."  
"Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. This boy Ian..," she paused for a while."I have complete faith in your judgment of character, Rita. If you say that Ian's a great guy, then I'm sure he is. That was my first impression of him too. Unfortunately, not everybody shares that feeling."  
Rita now looked concerned. "What are you talking about?"  
"Listen Rita, like I mentioned before, I kind of know Ian's parents. Not real well. I've only met them a couple of times. Once at the party and once at a P.T.A. meeting."  
"Mom, is there anything wrong with them?"  
"No Rita, they seem like very nice people." She sighed. "But..."  
"But what?"  
"I hope it doesn't get you too upset..."  
"Huh?"  
"Well Rita, there's a good chance that Ian might not be going to Alamanda middle school after this semester."  
"Why not!?" Rita was now starting to get angry.  
"I hate having to tell you this, but his parents are seriously thinking about putting him in a private school for special kids. They seem to think he's..."  
"Slow?"  
Mrs. Hammond sighed. "I'm afraid they weren't quite as polite as you. I believe the word they used was 'dim-witted'."  
Rita flew into a rage upon hearing this. "That's not true! Ian's just distracted by his own loneliness! I want to talk to them right now!"  
"Calm down," her mother saw this coming. "It's ten o'clock Rita. You can't just go phoning people up at this hour. It's not polite. If you'd like my dear, at some point tomorrow, you can give them a friendly call and let them know how you feel. If I might make a suggestion, you'd be a lot better off just talking about what a good helpful person he is, as opposed to how 'wrong they are' about him.."  
"Alright." Rita knew her mom was right. "I hope you let them know that at the next P.T.A. meeting as well."  
"I will. Rita, can I ask you one more question?"  
"Sure."  
"If Ian is such a great guy, how come you've never mentioned anything about him to me before?"  
"To tell you the truth, up until today, Ian was just some guy that's in a couple of my classes at school. It was only this afternoon that I got to know him real well."  
"I'm not too pleased with Trish for leaving you with 'just some guy that's in a couple of your classes', but I'm glad everything worked out. Now Rita, try to get some sleep." She pulled the covers over her daughter, kissed her forehead and shut out the light.

The very next morning

10:10 am

The tutor arrived at the Ian house quite early. She came armed with a handful of CDroms. Ian's mother greeted her at the door, and led her up to Ian's room, where he was already on the computer.  
"Ian, this is Miss Lily Ann . She's going to be working with you this week."  
"You can call me Lily if you'd like," said the tutor.  
"I'd rather he didn't," protested his mother. "I think he might take this more seriously if he were to address you as he does to any other teacher."  
Both Ian and the tutor thought that was a pretty stupid observation, considering the luck he had been having with 'any other teachers' recently. As soon as his mother left the room, they both ignored her advice.  
She sat down next to him. "So Ian, which teacher is telling me the truth?"  
"I don't know. Which teachers have you spoken to Lily?"  
"Well, your sociology teacher Mrs. Pinny has informed me that you are a witty, articulate intellectual who is much too easily distracted by the charms of the fairer sex. Your math teacher tells me you're a worthless moron."  
Ian responded in his usual manner. "I guess they were both correct."  
"Well personally, I think your math teacher's is too much." While she was talking, she slipped one of her CDRs into the tray of his computer. "Let's not start with math. First we'll begin with a subject that you're getting Ds in, and then we'll move on to the 'F' category later this week. Ready Ian?"  
Big bold letters blazed across the computer monitor, "The Roman Empire, 63 B.C. - A.D. 96"  
"Oh no," Ian was half smirking and half laughing.  
Luckily, Lily saw the humor in this as well. "Look, I know it's boring, you know it's boring, but we can get through this if we take a methodical approach. There are only 11 names to remember. Agustus, Tiberius, Caligula, Claudius, Nero, Galba, Otho, Vitellius, Vespasian, Titus, and Domitian. Com on Ian, it's not much different than memorizing the alphabet. We'll spend the next ten minutes repeating those names, until you've gotten them right. After that, we'll try working on the dates that each one of them ruled."  
"Lily, something tells me this is going to take a lot more than ten minutes."  
"Ian, just try to focus. Anyhow, with no hot chicks to divert your attention, I believe your ability to focus is going to multiply over the next few hours."  
"What're you talking about? You're a hot chick yourself." Ian wasn't being facetious. Lily was a strikingly attractive woman in her mid 20s.  
Lily grinned. "Ian, I'm still your drill sergeant no matter what. Now look at those names." She pointed towards the monitor. "I want you to read them, then close your eyes, and repeat them. You'll have them all in no time at all."  
"Yeah, sure, but then I'll forget them within the hour."  
"Get on with your reading!"  
Ian just shook his head, and followed her orders. Working with someone who felt more like a friend than an adversary did make studying dull subjects a little more bearable. For the next three hours, Ian actually did find himself beginning to memorize not just the names and dates, but some of what each of the eleven emperors had accomplished during their reign. He started to think to himself, "Perhaps there's hope for me yet."

1:18 pm

It was time for Lily to leave. She removed the CDR from the computer. "Well, that's it for today Ian. Tomorrow, we'll start working on math. I'm off to your school."  
Ian got up and walked with her to the front door, "Lily, are you going there to file a report on my progress?"  
"Actually, there's a videotape I've got to pick up. A girl had an accident and is stuck at home for a week. They're taping her first four classes for her, and I'm supposed to drop it off at her house."  
Remembering Trish's words, once again Ian 'seized the moment'. "That would be Rita Hammond."  
"You know her?"  
"Yeah, Rita's my gi....she's my friend. If you'd like, I can take my bike over to the school and deliver it to her for you." Although he was planning on heading straight to the Hasting school to spend some time with his biker friends, Ian realized that this was way too good an opportunity to pass up.  
Lily thought about it for a second. "Ian, I've got a better idea. Why don't you hop in my car, and we'll both deliver it to her. You can direct me towards her house."  
"That sounds like a good suggestion to me."  
The two of them informed Ian's mother of their plans. She was curious.  
"So Ian, you're spending the afternoon at a friend's? Anybody I know?"  
"I think so. You've met Rita Hammond's folks, haven't you?"  
His mother looked surprised. "Yes, I know the Hammond. I also know about Rita's accident. They live just nine blocks from here, right?"  
"Yep."  
"Well Ian, keep in mind that it gets dark a lot earlier now. If it gets late, give me a call and I'll come pick you up."  
"I can probably get a lift from Mrs. Hammond."  
"Alright, but don't impose yourself too much. See you at dinner dear." She turned to Lily. "And thank you very much." Mrs. Ian was pleasantly surprised that her son had someone besides Steven with whom he was friendly enough to visit at home.  
"I'll see you tomorrow," said Lily, as she and Ian disappeared out the door. The two of them hopped in the car and took off. Half-way to the school, she decided to engage in some idle conversation. "So is this Hammond kid your girlfriend?"  
Ian paused and smiled. "That's too premature. I only started seeing her yesterday."  
Lily grinned, "I'll take that as a probability."  
The car pulled up in front of the school.  
"Shall I wait in the car?" Ian asked.  
"What for? It's twenty after one. All the kids are in class. Nobody's going to see you. Move it."  
They ambled up the school steps and headed towards the Principal's office. Mr. Raoul was slightly surprised to see both of them.  
"So how did Mr. Ian do?"  
Lily put her hand on Ian's shoulder. "This kid's a genius. Just give me another few days with him. Listen, there's something I've got to ask you."  
"What's that?" asked the principal  
"It would save me a lot of time and trouble if, for the next few days, Ian here came by and picked up Rita Hammond's videos. Besides, it wouldn't hurt him to go and study with her, after studying with me."  
The Principal pondered this for a moment. "Well, I'll go along with that if Rita or her parents give me a call and indicate that she's o.k. with it. He paused for a moment then turned to Ian. "I just hope that Rita turns out to be more of an influence on you, than you are on her."  
"I now consider to her be more of a colleague than a distraction," Ian announced.  
The principal was skeptical. "That's all well and good, Mr. Ian, but are you sure she considers you to be a colleague and not an annoying pest?"  
"As a matter of fact, Rita's probably the only girl in the school who does."  
"Alright then. Here's the video. It includes everything except the drama class and phys-ed." I suppose that in her condition, Rita will be needing someone to help her type, anyway. Just make sure you time it so you always arrive here while classes are in session." He handed Ian the video. "Go now, Mr. Ian."  
"Thank you sir."  
"I'll be in touch with you about his progress," assured Lily.  
Everyone bid each other goodbye. They hopped back in the car, and Ian directed her to the Hammond's residence. They knocked on the door, and Rita answered.  
"Ian!" she could not contain her elation upon seeing her new friend, accompanying the woman she was expecting to deliver her video.  
For a brief moment, Ian completely forgot himself, and put his hand on her cheek, just like he did in his daydreams. "Hi there Angel." Instantly recognizing his burst, he quickly panicked and apologized "Oh no, I'm so sorry!" He jerked his hand away from her face.  
"What on earth are you apologizing for? So that's the nickname you gave me in your fantasies? Interesting." Lily observed this awkward courtship ritual with amusement.  
"Rita, this is my tutor Lily. She was originally slated to bring you these daily videos, but Principal Raoul gave me permission to do it from now on, as long as it's alright with you and your mom."  
"Pleased to meet you, Lily." She turned back to Ian. "Of course it's alright with me, but why aren't you being tutored right now?  
"That's only for three hours each morning. I'm free to spend the rest of the day with you."  
Lily pulled the video out of her handbag. "Here, maybe the two of you should watch this together. Are you two in any of the same classes?"  
"Just sociology." Rita took the video. "Would you like to come in, Lily?"  
"Thanks, but I've got another client to see in a half-hour." She turned to her student. "Ian, before you go watch that video with her, can you come to my car for a second? I need you to help me with something."  
"Sure. Hang on, Rita, I'll be right back."  
Rita disappeared into the house as Ian and his tutor walked to the car.  
"So what do you need help with?" He asked.  
Lily turned around and surprised him. "Ian, I don't really need help with anything. I just wanted to talk to you alone for a minute."  
"About what?"  
"Did you notice the expression on that girl's face, when she saw you?"  
"Yeah, she was pretty pleased."  
"That's putting it mildly." Lily put her hands on his shoulders as she spoke. "Ian, she was elated. I'm a woman. I recognize that look. I swear, if this were the 19th century, that girl would, at this very moment, be your wife."  
He was beside himself. "Well needless to say, I'm sure you must've noticed the similar reaction from me too."  
"Ian, I'm going to tell you something that is more important than any homework assignment. As a matter of fact, I'm going to give you some advice that is more important than anything."  
"What's that?"  
"Do not leave that house today, Ian, without looking at Rita in the eyes and saying 'I love you' at some point. It doesn't matter if she says it first, or you do. Believe me, if you don't, you will live to regret it. You have no idea how many guys have." Lily got into her car and rolled down the window. "Take my word for it."

Although Ian already had his sights set on making the leap from "friend" to "boyfriend" official at some point this week, he wasn't sure whether or not today might be a little too soon. He entered the house and closed the door behind him. Mrs. Hammond was helping Rita insert the video into the VCR. The fallen grandfather clock was still in the middle of the room.  
"Hi Ian!" Mrs. Hammond seemed as happy to see him as her daughter.  
"Hello Mrs. Hammond. Mind if I stick around and watch the tape with Rita?"  
"Ian, you're always welcome here. If either of you need me for anything, just yell. I'll be in the backyard, gardening." She winked at the two of them, and left the room.  
Ian sat down next to Rita, facing the television. "You know, you've got the coolest mom ever."  
"I would have to agree with that any time."  
"Of course, my mom would probably be just as cool, if you were her kid instead of me."  
"Ian, it's time to study. Can you do me a favour and turn up the volume a little?"  
He picked up the remote, and did so. Mr. Norman's overly familiar voice poured from the TV's speakers. For a couple of minutes, the two of them just stared at the screen, while he droned on. Ian picked up the remote once again and put it on pause.  
"Rita, there's something I've got to ask you."  
"What's that Ian?"  
"Look at all that stuff on the blackboard." Ian was referring to the jumble of lines, numbers and equations on the board behind Norman. "Do you really understand any of that? It looks like Chinese to me."  
"You know Ian, here's yet one more thing the two of us have in common. Math has never been one of my strengths. Can you keep a secret?"  
"Sure."  
"Two weeks ago, I did Phoebe's history assignments for her, and in exchange, she did my math homework."  
"Well, Rita. that's the most brilliant scheme I've ever heard." Ian was amused. "Phoebe is a certified mathematical genius, so why not?"  
Rita gave him an admiring look.  
"Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked.  
"You just called Phoebe a certifiable genius."  
"I'm in the same math class as her, and believe me, there's no denying that."  
"But Ian, I was just thinking about how she never has anything nice to say about you."  
Ian once again shifted into his self deprecating mode. "Well, maybe if I were a genius at something..."  
"Ian, you are a genius. Believe me, what you did in Mrs. Pinny's class last Friday was pure genius. I'm not exactly sure what you call it, but here it is three days later, and I'm still thinking about it and laughing."  
He grinned. "Yeah, Phoebe's probably still thinking about it too...and gnashing her teeth."  
"You know what?" Rita had an idea. "Let's fast forward through this useless math lecture and see what we're both missing in sociology this week."  
"Now there's an idea." Ian held up the remote and did so. As soon as he saw Mrs. Pinny, he realized that the camera was positioned exactly where he usually sits in the class. "Oh my goodness, it's just like being there, except you're seat is empty and Phoebe isn't flipping the bird at the camera." On the screen, the teacher was having Steven read an excerpt from some book or another, as usual. Ian looked over at Rita while she was watching the t.v.  
"Why are you looking at me?" She asked.  
"This is what I always do when Steven starts reading. I just stare at you and zoomed out. This is a special treat, having the luxury of actually being able to stare at your face, Rita, instead of the back of your head."  
Rita smiled, and the two of them sat in relative silence for the next three hours, watching the tape, with Ian occasionally taking notes for her.

5:05 pm

Before they knew it, it was already getting dark outside.  
"Ian, I've got to go to the bathroom again." Rita announced.  
"I'll go get your mom." He started to get up.  
"That's not necessary."  
Ian had a look of surprise on his face. "Are you sure?"  
"Ian, believe it or not, I feel a little more comfortable with you helping me. A girl gets to be at certain age, it's a little less embarrassing having your husband doing that, than your mother. You know what I mean?"  
Immediately, Lily's words raced through Ian's head. Although Rita obviously only used the word "husband" as a metaphor, he felt it was still more than just a coincidence. "Are you sure your mom would approve of that?"  
"Actually Ian, I had a talk with her earlier today. She said that if this had happened to her when she was my age, she would've felt weird having her mother take her to the bathroom all the time as well." She paused for a moment. "I'm sure my dad wouldn't be too crazy about the idea, but anyway, he's still out of town for the next couple of days."  
"Alright, no problem." Once again, He helped her out in the bathroom. As they finished up, he noticed that it was now dark outside. "Rita, I don't want to overstay my welcome..."  
"What are you talking about? It's only five o'clock." She nodded towards a clock on the wall. "My mom and I aren't even going to be having dinner for another hour. Come with me outside, Ian. I want to show you something." He followed her out the back door. "Check out my hill." The moonlight revealed an area of the lawn that rose up at about a forty-five degree angle. To Rita, it was like having a yard with a built in chaise longue. She sat down on the grass and laid back. "Come on, lie down next to me." He did so, using her cast as a headrest. Ian turned and looked at her. "I would imagine that you've always been popular."  
She thought about this for a moment. "Well, Ian I suppose that depends on one's definition of 'popular'. I've always had friends, some of which I'm closer to than others."  
"I mean with boys. Rita, I can't imagine any guy looking at you and not falling in love."  
"I've always had friends of both genders. It's only within the last year that I've started thinking about boys as being potentially more than just friends."  
"Well I've always thought of girls that way, Rita. But it's only been within the last couple of years that I've been finding it difficult to keep those thoughts to myself."  
There was about ten seconds of awkward silence. Rita finally decided to quit stalling.  
"Ian, kiss me."  
She only had to say that once. He leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek, much like the one he had given her the previous evening.  
"Ian...." This time she was going to be a little more specific.  
"Yeah?"  
"I mean really kiss me."  
It was clearly time to seize the moment. He rolled over, put his arms around her, and planted a huge one on her lips. It lasted nearly a minute. Rita's head was in the clouds. This guy really knew how to kiss. He slowly lifted his head away from hers. Both of them were slightly dizzy.  
She tried to catch her breath and speak at the same time. "I sure wish you were the leading man in the school play."  
Ian found this to be a curious comment to make at this time. "Who is the current leading man?"  
"Ricky." Hearing this, Ian couldn't help but burst out laughing. "Ian, that's not nice." Despite her words, she couldn't help laughing herself.  
Ian could barely speak. "In other words, the school play doesn't have a leading man, it has two leading ladies."  
Rita had managed to calm down a little. "Well, at least in real life I've got a leading man." Ian didn't miss his cue. He kissed her again. It was even longer than the first one. Eventually they both came up for air. "You have no idea how frustrating it is not to be able to move my arms right now, Ian."  
Suddenly, the backyard light went on, and Mrs. Hammond came out the back door. Ian instinctively resumed his position next to Rita, although he knew that her mother was probably knew what was going on.  
"Ian, I just got a call from your mother. She says that dinner will be ready shortly, and she'd like you home. I told her I'd give you a ride."  
"Thank you. That wasn't necessary." Ian got up, helped Rita to her feet, and they all went into the house.

Obviously dinner was just about ready at the Hammond household as well.  
They continued walking out the front door. When they got to the car, Ian opened the passenger door and was about to step in, when Mrs. Hammond stopped him. "Ian..."  
"Yes?"  
She nodded towards her daughter. "I believe your girlfriend would probably enjoy one last kiss before you leave."  
This had to be the ultimate capper to the best day of Ian's life. Not only was the object of his dreams now officially his girlfriend, but her mother was giving the relationship a big thumbs up.  
He wasted no time in complying. He turned and gave Rita one last kiss. Remembering what Lily had said, he whispered "I love you" in her ear, and she did the same.  
"Rita, keep an eye on the stove. I'll be back in less than ten minutes," announced her mother, as Ian slid into the passenger seat. The brief ride home was mostly quiet. As soon as the car arrived at Ian's house, Mrs. Hammond parked, and shut off the engine.  
"Ian, I've got something to show you." She reached into the glove box, and pulled out a few photographs. "Rita would kill me if she knew I was letting you see these, but I'm going to show them to you anyway." She turned on the car's dome light.  
He examined the photos, which appeared to be of a much younger, awkward looking Rita, with stringy hair, braces, and a sweatshirt that had a cartoon character on it. "I take it these are from a couple of years ago."  
"Wrong," Mrs. Hammond answered. "They were taken last May."  
Ian couldn't believe it. "You're kidding..."  
"No I'm not. In only four short months she somehow managed to morph from that into the beautiful young lady you now know and love."  
"Who knows," Ian mused. "Perhaps at some point I'll also morph into something presentable."  
"Ian you're just fine the way you are," She couldn't help but be charmed by his self deprecating humour. "I knew that this would be the year that Rita started taking more of an interest in boys on a romantic level." She put her arm on Ian's shoulder. "You have no idea how relieved I am that you showed up, and not some high school senior with a motorcycle." She winked.  
Ian was slightly embarrassed. "I'm sorry my grades aren't better."  
"Rita tells me that the troubles you've been having in school are largely a result of you being distracted by her. Obviously that's no longer an issue. Ian, something tells me that by the time the two of you are back in school next week, it's going to be a whole new ballgame."  
As he got out of the car, they said their final goodbyes, and he disappeared into the house. Mrs. Hammond headed back home, looking forward to dinner with a daughter who was now in a really good mood.

10:11 am

The first thing Lily noticed about Ian this morning, was that he was a bit bruised up, and walking with a slight limp.  
"What the hell happened to you, Ian?"  
"I was just out practicing on my bike. Sometimes you have to fall a few times before you get it right."  
"Well, at least I'll be able to report to your principal that when it comes to physical education, you are willing to do the work, no matter how grueling it was."  
"Believe it or not Lily, as awful as I look, the school's phys-ed progam always leaves me in much more sorry shape than this."  
"So how'd you make out with the girl last night?"  
This instantly brought a smile to his face. "It's official. Her mother has even given us her blessing."  
Lily grinned and stuck a Disc into the computer tray. "In that case, no matter how much trouble you have with this, Ian, I hereby declare you to be officially not stupid." The words 8th Grade Algebra and Geometry appeared on the monitor.  
What he previously found daunting, Ian now found amusing. "Rita sucks at this stuff too. She has a friend that does her math homework for her in exchange for history."  
"Nobody is good at everything." Lily leaned back in her chair. "Grab hold of that mouse, Ian, and let's see if we can somehow get any part of this to sink in."

1:15 pm

Ian cycled over to the school to pick up Rita's tape. He thought about the fact that ordinarily, he would be in the middle of 5th period math right now, completely wasting his time. Ian felt he at least had made some progress today, though the pythagorean theorem still eluded him. He picked the tape up from the principal's office and headed out to the Hasting school, where he would spend about a half-hour, before taking the tape to Rita's. Unknown to him, Phoebe, who sat near the window in math, happened to catch a glimpse of him leaving the school, holding the video. She thought to herself, could it possibly be...?

1:35 pm

Ian paddled up to the schoolyard gate, and was greeted warmly as usual.  
"You look pretty bruised up," observed Polo. "What happened?  
"This morning, I was trying to do that thing you guys were doing..."  
"What 'thing' would that be?" asked Sonia.  
"The thing where you've got one foot on a front peg while you hold the seat..." Ian tried to demonstrate, but as usual, the bike slipped out from under him.  
"Was this what you were trying to do?" asked Polo, as he gave an effortless demonstration.  
"Yeah, that's it." Ian got up and dusted himself off.  
"That's called a steamroller," said Sonia. "It really isn't all that difficult, once you know where to put your weight."  
"Alright," Ian picked up his bike. "Tell me what I'm doing wrong..."  
For the next half-hour Polo, Sonia and Freddy gave Ian a crash course in steamrolling. As always, he thanked them for their time and effort, then rode off to meet his girlfriend.

2:25 pm

He arrived at Rita's house, and was greeted at the door with an enormous kiss, which would pretty much be the standard ritual for the rest of the week. Rita asked him why he was somewhat bruised up, but he declined to answer. He wanted to make sure that he had completely mastered at least a few tricks on his bike, before letting anybody from Alamanda middle school know about his little daily excursions to Hasting, let alone his girlfriend. For the next three hours, the two of them would sit and watch the tape of what went on in the classrooms that day, with Ian taking notes. All morning long, Mrs. Hammond had been tending to Rita's needs any way she could, helping her eat, wash up, brush her hair, scratch her itches, whatever. Needless to say, she was more than delighted to have Ian come in every afternoon and relieve her of those duties. It was a win-win situation.

5:05 pm

They went out in the backyard, and laid back on the grassy hill like they had done the previous evening. It wasn't completely dark yet, so they were able to revel in the sunset.  
"This is my favorite time of the day," said Rita, who was in somewhat of a poetic mood. "Cinematographers call it the witching hour. The sky, and everything around you turns into a very pastel lavender grey, and the clouds turn pink. I always try to be outside around this time. Looking up at the sky is humbling. It reminds me of how insignificant I really am."  
This inspired Ian to utter a half-serious wisecrack. "Clearly you can see how that feeling would be much more of a novelty for you, than it is for me."  
She continued, "For me, spiritual nourishment comes from the cosmos, not from sitting in pews, surrounded by man-made stained glass windows." "Ian, have you ever experienced a moment when you've felt like there's more to life than just the tangible?"  
"You know, I want to answer yes in the worst way, but that would be a big lie. And I promise I'm never going to lie to you again."  
This caught Rita's attention. "When did you ever lie to me before?"  
"A couple of days ago, when I was trying to cheer you up. Remember how I told you about my folks taking me to see Swan Lake?"  
"So they never really took you to see Swan Lake?"  
"Oh they took me alright. It's the part about crying in the bathroom that I made up. Actually, I nodded off about fifteen minutes into it. That Tchaikovsky is almost as boring as Mayor." He got up on his elbows and looked at her. "Rita, the reality of the matter is, I've never had a single paranormal experience in my life. I've never seen a UFO, I've never seen Bigfoot, I've never seen the Loch Ness Monster, I've never seen shadow people out of the corner of my eye, I've never seen any little black-eyed kids following me around, I've never..."  
"Alright, I get the idea. I take comfort in knowing that my boyfriend has no schizophrenic tendencies. We just need to work a little on your skills as a romanticist."  
Ian laid back down. "In my darkest hours...which basically means every moment up until a couple of days ago...The only thing that ever gave me any peace was the pride I took in knowing what is and isn't real. Most people take comfort in prayer. As far as I'm concerned, praying is just a pompous word for talking to an imaginary friend."  
"You know Ian, I believe that for people our age, sexual intercourse is thoroughly inappropriate."  
Ian paused briefly and then deadpanned, "I reserve my comment."  
Rita was now sporting an ear-to-ear grin. "As a matter of fact, yes I am. Somehow, you're relentless cynicism never ceases to amuse me."  
"Well, I don't have one. I agree with you. At our age, sex in the biblical sense would not be wise."  
"That's a pretty parochial attitude for an Atheist."  
Ian sat up on his elbows again. "Now let me set the record straight, here. This has nothing to do with religion. It has everything to do with logic. Sex-ed was probably the only class I was able to stay awake in last year. First of all, there's the issue of unwanted pregnancy, and secondly, there's the fact that you probably wouldn't enjoy it."  
"Why do you think I wouldn't enjoy it?"  
Ian rolled his eyes. "Alright, if you want to get technical, I was taught that at your age, the vaginal cavity isn't quite elastic enough to comfortably accommodate moving foreign objects. If we were to engage in that sort of activity, it would more than likely be very painful for you. The last thing I ever want to do is to cause you pain."  
Rita chuckled. "Well thank you very much for teaching me about the elasticity of my vaginal cavity, Dr. Ian...And then of course, there's also the issue of spreading communicable diseases."  
"Oh get real. Obviously neither of us has to worry about that." Ian laid back down on the grass. "By any chance, is there some reason that you chose this particular moment to raise this issue?"

" I reserve my comment."

9:09 pm

Rita's cell phone rang. talking into it was a bit of an ordeal with her cast. It involved first opening it, then laying it down on the bed, then kneeling next to the bed and resting her head on it sideways.  
"Hello?"  
"Rita, it's me, Phoebe."  
"Hey, what's up?"  
"How're you adjusting to the cast?"  
"It's been a little inconvenient to say the least, but I'm learning to take it in stride."  
"I've got a question to ask. I've noticed a video camera in Mrs. Pinny's class. Is sociology being taped for you?"  
"Yup. I receive it every day, along with my 1st, 2nd and 4th period classes as well. Mr. Raoul says it's now standard procedure. If they know a student is going to be absent for a week or more, they tape every class except gym and the elective. Since they just use the same tapes over and over, it doesn't even cost anything."  
"Listen, I've got to ask you something. When it arrives at your house, does it just get dropped off in the mailbox, or does somebody knock on your door and hand it to you?"  
Rita had a feeling where this conversation was heading, and answered cautiously. "Actually, somebody knocked on the door and handed it to my mom. Why do you ask?"  
"I was in math today, and just happened to be looking out the window. I saw something potentially disturbing."  
"What was that?"  
" Ian left out the school's front door carrying what looked like a videotape. He got on his bike and went off in the direction of your house. I just wanted to give you a heads up. If he's the delivery boy, you'll probably want to avoid answering the door yourself."  
Rita was both angry and amused at the same time. Obviously Trish had elected not to tell Phoebe about her and Ian. She had the perfect comeback line. "Phoebe, I don't know what you're talking about."  
"What are you talking about? He's that moron who just got expelled for insulting my mother. If you hadn't held me back, I would've hit him in the head with Darwin's Origin Of Species."  
Not wanting to press the matter any further, Rita wormed her way out of the conversation. "Phoebe, I really don't care about how the tape gets to me. It doesn't make it any more or less boring to watch. Listen, in order to talk with you, I have to kneel in a very awkward position next to the bed. For the next couple of days, can you just instant message me on the computer instead?"  
"But you'll only be able to type with one hand."  
"So the conversation will be a little slow. At least I won't have a sore neck when I'm finished talking."  
"Okay sure. I can't wait 'til your back in school. Everybody misses you."  
"Tell everyone I miss them too. I'll be seeing you soon enough."  
" Bye."

3:02 pm, The Airport

Mrs. Hammond greeted her husband with a hug and a kiss. They talked as they made their way towards the baggage pick-up.  
"So did the quake leave any permanent scars dear?"  
"Of course. I had to purchase a whole new set of dishes for both the restaurant and the house. Other than that, the main thing you'll notice when we get home is that grandfather clock, which is still horizontal in the front room."  
"I take it it's too heavy for one person to lift?"  
"Yup, but actually, for the time being, I don't see any reason to move it. It never worked as a clock, but makes a nice footrest."  
"So how's Rita holding up?"  
"Remarkably well. That's the other thing you'll immediately notice when we get home. She's got a boyfriend now. He's really been a tremendous help."  
"Really? Great. Anybody I know?"  
She took a deep breath. "His name is Ian."  
Suddenly, the expression on her husband's face turned inquisitive. "Ian? Where have I heard that name before..."  
"Dear..."  
He grabbed his suitcase off of the conveyor belt. "Alright. I trust your judgment, and Rita's. Let's get out of here."

4:32 pm, Hammond Residence

Rita looked at the clock on the wall. "My mom and dad should be arriving home in a few minutes."  
"Rita, is there anything I should know, before meeting your dad?" Ian put the VCR on pause.  
"As a matter of fact, yes there is." Rita's voice was now serious. "I think you should know that he once met your dad at a P.T.A. meeting."  
"Uh oh, that's not good, Rita."  
"Listen, unlike you, I've haven't come out to my dad as an Atheist. So whatever you do, don't even raise that subject. As you've probably guessed, he's a lot more into the whole religious thing than my mom is. At this point, if he were to find out about it Ian, he'd probably just wind up blaming you for steering me in that direction."  
"Well, my dad didn't really know about that until a week ago, so I'm sure your dad doesn't. However, If they ever spoke at length, I'm sure Rita, he must think I'm an idiot."  
"Hopefully my mom's been working on him in the car. "

10:12 pm, The Hammond Master Bedroom

"So what do you think of Ian?" asked Mrs. Hammond.  
Mr.Hammond just shrugged his shoulders. "He seems harmless enough."

10:01 am, Hasting Schoolyard

"What the hell is that?" asked Ian, upon seeing a bunch of guys, working with hammers, nails and electric saws. They were building some sort of edifice that was taking up a huge chunk of space in the yard.  
"That," answered Freddy, "Is going to be one big half-pipe when it's finished...hopefully within a couple of days."  
"You got any experience with one of those, Polo?"  
"Yeah. There's a huge skateboard park in Hillybush with a big one, I spent a lot of time there over the summer. Ian, if you've got the stomach for it, those things can be a lot of fun." He turned to Ian. "Think you want to take a shot at it?"  
"Of course." Ian didn't even hesitate. "I don't want to look cowardly..." He decided not to finish that sentence.  
This clued Freddy into what his motives might be. "Ian, by any chance are you doing all this to impress some girl?"  
Ian looked at him. "I'm doing all this because it's fun. If it impresses my girl, that's a welcome fringe benefit."

3:08 pm, Doctor's Office

The cast cutter was making a hideous sound. This being the first time Rita had ever been in a cast, she was a little worried.  
"Are you sure that thing isn't going to cut through me as well?"  
"Just hold still for a minute more, Rita." The doctor had finished cutting down the length of her left arm, and was now working on the right. "I promised your mother and brother that I wouldn't make them wait."  
"That's not my brother sir, that's my boyfriend."  
"Whatever. Brace yourself, Rita."   
The saw finally reached the end of her arm, and the cast was pried loose. Her entire upper body felt slightly numb.  
"Rita, easy does it. Try moving your arms up and down," ordered the doctor. "You haven't used these muscles for a week, and you need to get the blood flowing again. I'll go bring in your entourage."  
Rita rubbed her arms for about a half minute. Finally, her mother and Ian walked in.  
"So how does it feel?" Her mom was pleased to see her regain her independence.  
"Like fifty tons were just lifted off of my shoulders mom."  
"I'm going to leave you two alone for a couple of minutes while I go out and settle the bill."  
As soon as she left the room, Rita motioned Ian to come over. She was now able to do something she had been longing to do for a week. Put both of her hands on either side of his face. She pulled him close, and for the first time, was able to put her arms around him during one of their long kisses.  
Ian finally asked her, "So what do you think? When we're both back at school in a few days, and this is made public, am I going to gain a lot of friends, or are you going to lose a lot of them?"  
"That remains to be seen," answered Rita. "It's time to discover who my real friends are."

7:45 am

The school day began as usual, with kids arriving on foot, via skateboard, bicycle and parent's cars. Friends greeted friends as everybody made their way to their lockers and homerooms. All who shared a class with her were pleasantly surprised to see Rita among the crowd, apparently healthy, and showing little signs of having a nearly catastrophic accident the previous week.  
Ian, as expected, was drawing the exact opposite kind of attention. As he walked past the Principal's office, something caught his eye. He stood at the door, looking inside for a few moments. There was now an array of small television monitors that wasn't there before. Each one of them appeared to show a different section of the school's hallways from a bird's eye view. He looked up, and sure enough, there were now video cameras hanging from the ceiling. A hand tapped him on the shoulder from behind. To his surprise, it was Betty, who pointed towards one of the cameras.  
"Rumor has it that you are the main reason they installed those things, Ian." she informed him.  
"So what do you think of them?" He asked, rhetorically.  
" I don't care one way or the other. See you in sociology," She disappeared down the hall.  
Already, this was turning into an interesting day. Apparently surveillance equipment had been installed while he was away, mainly for his benefit, and Betty actually spoke to him without him speaking to her first.  
Rita was making her way through the halls, when she ran into Trish.  
"Hello Trish."  
Trish looked left and right, then held her friend's arms. "Just giving you a heads-up...Betty knows, Phoebe doesn't."  
"Thanks. See you in sociology."  
With that, the two girls parted in separate directions towards their lockers. As Rita approached hers, she could see Ian heading for his, approaching from the opposite direction. The two of them arrived at their lockers and this time, there was a slight variation from his usual 'Hello Rita.'  
"Hello Angel." Ian was humored. "Suddenly, I feel like I should be wearing a leather jacket and have greasy black hair."

Suddenly, an all too familiar voice came out of nowhere. "Hey Rita," they both spun around to see Felix looking at them suspiciously. Obviously his wounds had healed. "Is this clown bothering you?"  
Rita couldn't help but chuckle at the fact that he was wearing the sort of mock leather jacket that Ian was just joking about. Ian noticed that one of the school's newly installed video cameras was just over Felix's shoulder pointing right at all three of them. He decided to take advantage of the situation by making a reference to the incident in phys-ed the previous week.  
"No Mr. Felix, I'm just admiring her beauty."  
Felix was suddenly enraged. "You little..." He punched Ian in the face hard, smashing him against the locker, actually making a slight dent in it. Ian fell to the ground.  
Rita gasped. "Felix are you nuts!?" She knelt down to see if Ian was seriously hurt. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a handkerchief and wiped away a drop of blood near the corner of his mouth. "Ian, do you need to go to the nurse's office?"  
Still a bit dazed, he looked up and noticed that Felix was now gone. "Rita, do me a favour. Go to the principal's office and ask him to take a look at what that camera just recorded." He nodded towards the camera. "If I do it, it'll make me look like a snitch."  
"Are you sure you're alright?"  
Ian slowly picked himself up off the ground. "I'll be fine. It's not like this is the first time this has happened. You better get going. I don't know how long that camera retains stuff before it starts recording over itself."  
She kissed him, then headed down the hall towards the office. On her way, she thought about the fact that there were other students passing by who surely saw what Felix just did to Ian, and yet, none of them even blinked. Could this possibly have been that common incident? What on earth could be the source of all this hatred towards her new boyfriend?

8:15 am  
Principal Raoul' secretary entered Felix's classroom and whispered something in the teacher's ear.  
"Felix," he spoke loudly, because Felix was sitting near the back of the room. "Would you please go with Miss Ella. Apparently the Principal needs to see you about something."  
Felix rolled his eyes and obeyed. He suspected that Ian had snitched on him, and figured he would just deny the whole thing. This, of course, would be his undoing. They entered the office to find the principal seated behind his desk, looking with disgust at a monitor. Felix sat down on a chair facing the desk, and Mr. Raoul wasted no time.  
"Felix, you are expelled. Do you know why you are expelled?"  
"No."  
"Well it's a combination of assault and vandalism."  
"I haven't vandalized anything." He protested.  
"When you slammed Ian into that locker, you put a dent in it." The principal shook his head. "I was wondering what was causing all those dents."  
"Well he started it," This was a major error.  
"Oh did he?" The principal swung the monitor that was on his desk around, so it was now facing Felix. The whole scene of him punching Ian in the face was now replayed right in front of him. "I don't see him hitting you first."  
Felix was now scrambling to save face. "He was calling me names."  
Suddenly a voice came from behind him. "He never called you anything." It was Rita, who was standing behind the door when it opened, so he hadn't noticed her when he walked in. "All I remember is him saying something I didn't understand about 'my beauty'."  
"That is a completely moot point anyway," said the principal. "Even if he did insult you, it doesn't give you the right to physically assault him, or anybody."  
"He's also the reason I had to wear a neck brace a week ago!" Felix was digging himself deeper into a hole.  
The principal was not impressed. "If I recall correctly, you told us that you accidentally tripped and fell in the restroom."  
"But..." Felix was now in a no-win situation. He either had to admit that he was lying the previous week, or lying now. He just slumped his shoulders, and said no more.  
"One or both of your parents will be here to pick you up shortly." The principal removed the CD from the computer tray. "I will let them keep this little souvenir as a reminder of why their son will be sitting at home for at least the next two weeks." He turned to Rita. "You are free to go, Miss Hammond. We've informed your teacher of why you are late today."  
"Before I do sir, I'd like to ask one question of Felix."  
Mr. Raoul nodded.  
Rita turned to Felix. "Did you really think that beating the crap out of someone half your size for no reason was going to make a good impression on me?"  
Felix didn't answer. He just sat there gnashing his teeth. Rita left the room and returned to her class.

9:30 am

In between first and second periods, Rita and Ian both headed back to their lockers to switch books.  
"Are you still bleeding?"  
"Nope. I've taken a lot worse than that and lived to tell about it." Ian put his science book in his locker. A sly grin suddenly formed on Rita's face. "You know what?. Let's go for something a little less ambiguous." With that she threw her arms around him and gave him a prolonged kiss. She wanted to make sure that more than just a few students walking by noticed it.  
"Rita, don't forget there's a camera pointing at us," Ian managed to say.  
"Big deal. We're not destroying any school property." She kissed him once again. "I'll see you in sociology in an hour."  
As she disappeared down the hall, Ian grabbed a book out of his locker. As soon as he shut it, he noticed a familiar face staring at him from a nearby doorway. Steven's mouth was wide open in disbelief.  
"Hello Steven."  
Steven just stood there for a moment, then managed to utter, "By any chance, did you also get the BMW?"

10:30 am

The students filed into Mrs. Pinny's 3rd period class and took their usual seats. Phoebe was not sure whether or not she was hallucinating when Rita and Ian walked in simultaneously, and appeared to be talking to one another. She looked over at Betty with an expression on her face that seemed to ask, 'Did you see what I just saw?' Betty looked back and simply shrugged her shoulders.  
"Rita, it's good to have you back," Mrs. Pinny's sentiment seemed genuine. She hardly ever called anybody by their first name. "How are you feeling?"  
"My shoulders are still a little numb ma'am, but I'm not in any pain."  
"Are you going back to the gym any time soon, Rita?"  
"Eventually. For the time being, my doctor says I should just be part of the normal outdoor P.E. class while I'm still healing. There's less chance of irritating the stretched ligament."  
"You too, Ian."  
"Thank you, ma'am."  
With the class all settled it, Mrs. Pinny began in the usual manner. "Steven, would you please turn to page 126 and begin reading at the second paragraph." Strangely, there was no response from Steven, who was looking downward. For some reason, he seemed a bit out of it. "Steven?"  
Steven looked up. "Huh? Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I didn't get enough sleep last night. What page was that again?"  
"That's alright," said the teacher. "You know, for a change of pace, why doesn't someone else do the reading this morning?" Several hands went up in the air, and she nodded towards Trish. "Go ahead Trish."  
As Trish began reading, Ian thought about what had just happened with Steven. It was so completely out of character, that he suspected something might be up. He made a mental note to talk to him at some point after class.

11:30 am

The lunch bell finally rang, and everyone began scurrying either towards their lockers, or the school cafeteria. Once again, Phoebe noticed Rita and Ian walking together. She and Betty left the room, walking in the opposite direction. Their lockers were located on the opposite side of the school. Trish headed for the cafeteria.  
"There's something weird going on here," Phoebe remarked.  
"You mean Rita and Ian?" asked Betty.  
"Of course! What could they possibly be talking about?"  
"I don't know. It doesn't seem all that unusual that they would strike up a friendship, if he's been delivering her homework to her over the last few days."  
"But she specifically told me over the phone that she doesn't know who Ian is."  
Betty rolled her eyes. "Phoebe, what's wrong with you?" She had it figured out. "You are repulsed by Ian, because he's essentially the 'anti-alpha male?."  
"So you're defending that buffoon?"  
"Defending him from what? His presence has no effect on my life whatsoever. Or even yours, Phoebe. Do you realize that the only time this subject matter ever comes up is when you're around?" As the girls grabbed their lunches out of their lockers, Betty tried to change the subject. "Norman's your math teacher, right?"  
"Yeah, 5th period. why?"  
"He's mine, too. 4th period. Personally, I don't think he's very good. I've been having some trouble keeping up with him. Assuming he's teaching your class what he's teaching mine, do you think I could trouble you to come over some time and give me a hand?..being the algebraic genius that you are."  
"No problem." The two girls were now outside heading towards the lunch benches. "As a matter of fact, I can probably make it over..."  
Phoebe cut herself off mid-sentence, and stopped dead in her tracks. Not only were Rita and Ian sitting together, but he just took a bite out of her sandwich. Betty saw this as well, looked up and just shook her head. She knew that there would be no way that Phoebe would be talking with her about anything else, any time soon.

11:45 am

While Rita and Ian were sitting at the table eating, at least seven different guys, most of whom Rita didn't even know, walked by and said something to the effect that they were glad to see that Rita had recovered so quickly. This happened within a space of ten minutes.  
"I had no idea that my accident was apparently the talk of the school while I was away," Rita observed.  
"I doubt it." Ian bit into his sandwich.  
"Then how do you explain all these people I don't even know, walking up and mentioning it?"  
"Rita, I don't know if you've noticed or not, but all these well-wishers are guys."  
"What does that have to do with anything?"  
"Believe me, for the last month, every guy in this school has been looking for an excuse to talk to you. You're accident has given them that excuse, and the fact that I'm sitting here next to you means that you're approachable."  
"Ian, why would I not be 'approachable' without you sitting next to me?"  
Ian just shook his head. "Rita, I refused to believe you could possibly be that naive. My dear Angel, you must realize that you're the prettiest girl in the school. Up until now, most guys just looked at you and assumed that they were nowhere near your league. By sitting here and talking to this Ian, that myth has now been shattered big time."  
At that very moment, another guy walked by and said hello to Rita. She acknowledged his greeting, and as he walked away, he gave Ian a considerably less friendly glance, which wasn't lost on her.  
"Do you know that guy?" she asked him.  
"I don't know his name, Rita, but he's in my math class."  
Rita munched on a carrot. It was finally starting to sink in just how different Ian's reality was from her own.

"Hey Rita," Phoebe sat down directly opposite the two of them. Betty was also in tow, but sat quietly while her friend launched into a tirade. "I thought you told me you don't him." She spoke as if Ian wasn't even there.  
Rita calmly chewed her carrot as she spoke. "I stand by that statement. I still don't know' idiot Ian'."  
This got Phoebe even angrier. "That's not funny."  
"I've never been more serious in my life." She turned to Ian. "Hey Ian, do you know anybody named ' idiot Ian'?"  
Ian put down his sandwich and also spoke in a calm voice. "I'm sorry, I don't" He looked at Phoebe. "Any problem?"  
"I'm not talking to you, idiot!" Phoebe was livid. She turned back to Rita. "I see what's going' on here. This guy delivers your homework for a few days, and in exchange you help him with his."  
"Actually, Trish introduced us to each other."  
Phoebe now seemed confused. "How come she never mentioned anything about this to me and Betty?"  
Betty kept mum. If she were to let on that Trish actually did inform her of the relationship, it would certainly be the end of their friendship.  
Ian piped up once again. "I guess you'll just have to ask her about that."  
"Will you shut up!" Phoebe's fury was now starting to seem almost comical.  
At this point, Rita decided that she'd had enough. "Hey Phoebe, watch this." She yanked Ian towards her and gave him a huge kiss on the lips.  
"Eeww!" Phoebe screamed and ran off. Betty started to laugh.  
Ian spoke in a mockingly tone, "I thought she'd never leave."  
"Rita, have you told Ian anything about what we now know about Phoebe's mom?" asked Betty.  
"Shhh, not yet."  
"Ah ha," Ian was still in a sarcastic mode. "So you two really have the goods on her, eh? Care to share?"  
"I said not yet," answered Rita. "We want to wait till the time is right."  
Betty turned to Ian, "Just take our word for it that there's actually a logical explanation for Phoebe's disposition. We're not really sure what it is, but the internet gave us a pretty good hint." She winked at him.  
"You know Betty, it might be a good idea for you to go and see what she's up to," suggested Rita. "I'm sure that Trish would appreciate your counsel when Phoebe finds her."  
"I do believe you've got a point." As Betty got up to leave, she took hold of Ian and Rita's hands for a moment. "Confidentially, I think you two make a really cute couple." With that, she left and went looking for Phoebe.  
Ian spoke. "Rita, there's something I've got to talk to you about."  
"Sounds serious."  
"Did you notice Steven's weird behaviour in class?"  
"Yeah, it's kind of hard to miss when you're sitting right next to him. He seemed out of it. Very unusual for him."  
"I'm pretty sure I know why he's feeling down. He saw us kissing in the hall earlier today, and he's sad because he doesn't have a girlfriend too."  
"What would lead you to that conclusion?"  
"A couple of weeks ago, while we were working on the project, I mentioned to Steven that I thought you were a babe, and he mentioned a girl that he likes. Here it is two week later. We're an item, and he's...well..."  
"Might this girl he's taken a fancy to be somebody I know?"  
"I don't know. Do you know Sheila?"  
"Hmm," She thought for a moment. "That sounds familiar. I think she's in the school play with me. Kind of short, brown hair,..."  
"That would be her. He claims she turned down a ride on the Ferris wheel with him in an abrupt manner." Ian finished his sandwich. "You know, Steven is a great believer in setting realistic goals for one's self. I'm sure he'd be happy to have just about anyone as a girlfriend. It doesn't have to be Sheila."  
"You know dear, I'm impressed with your concern for him."  
"Well he's a great guy. One of the very few people in my life who actually gets my name right.."  
Rita's elbow was on the table with her head resting in her hand, deep in thought. "I've got an idea."  
"What's your plan?"  
"Are you busy tomorrow afternoon, Ian?"  
"I was just planning on spending it with you as usual."  
"Here's what we'll do. I'll tell Sheila that I'm going to see a movie with a couple of friends and ask her if she'd like to come along. You do the same with Steven. Neither one of them will know exactly what we mean by 'a couple of friends'. Perhaps the fact that the two of us are a couple..."  
" Then?" said Ian "I suppose that's worth a try. Is there any particular movie that you have in mind?"  
"No, but there's always at least twelve different ones at the mall. Hopefully we can find one scary enough to make a girl want to grab on to a guy for protection. I just hope it doesn't seem too weird, me coming up to her during fifth period drama and asking if she wants to hang out at the mall tomorrow. After all, we don't really know each other."  
"Rita dearie, I think she'll jump at the chance. You don't realize it, but anybody would jump at the chance to hang out with the coolest babe in the school...At least up until today."  
"Ian, will you stop with this 'up until today' crap. So far, nobody but Phoebe has actually come up to me and indicated that I am somehow 'no longer cool'."  
Ian sighed. "There are still three periods to go, and now everyone has seen us together. Prepare yourself."  
The bell rang, the two of them kissed once more, and they were both off to their fourth period classes.

2:03 pm

Phys-ed would be a whole different ballgame today. Felix was out of the picture, and Rita was in. As the boys and girls filed out of their respective locker rooms and on to the field, there was definitely a different ambiance about the class. Although everybody was still giving him dirty looks, at least there was no open booing, like there had been in the previous two classes.  
"I take it you are Rita Hammond?" asked the coach, upon noticing an unfamiliar face in the class.  
"Yes. I'm normally in the gym, but I had a little accident a week ago. I'm not supposed to do anything that would be too strenuous on my arms and shoulders for awhile."  
"That's what it says here," The coach said, as he scribbled something on his clipboard. "Alright, you are exempted from doing any push-ups or pull-ups. Everything else, you do with the rest of the class."  
"Yes sir."  
With that, he led the class through the usual routine of warming ups. It was a bit strange having the girl who he used to watch in the gym now not only standing right next to him, but occasionally winking at him. It was clear that most of the class had seen them eating lunch together, and knew that they were an item. To say that they were puzzled by this turn of events, would be the understatement of the century. When it came time to do the daily jog around the neighborhood, the coach took into consideration that Felix was not there, and judged that it would be relatively safe for Ian to just run with the rest of the class.  
"Alright, everybody jog." He commanded. "And Ian, I don't want to see you coming in last."  
"I won't sir," Ian hollered over his shoulder as everyone started off. And indeed, why would he come in last? He now didn't have Felix to avoid, and instead of stopping to watch Rita in the gym, she was now jogging right next to him. They both maintained a place in the middle of the line, and talked as they ran.  
"So what's up with Sheila?" asked Ian.  
"I had spoken to her. She's on for tomorrow afternoon. Have you spoken to Steven yet?"  
"Yup. I ran into him in the hall. It's a go. We really ought to check what movies are playing at the mall."  
"And what the starting times are."  
Suddenly an all too familiar voice came from behind them "Hey Rita," It was Becker.  
"Yes?" She rolled her eyes as he jogged up alongside her and Ian.  
"Can I ask you something?"  
"What?"  
"When we get to the door of the gym, if I stop and jog in place for a minute and stare like a retard at Betty, do you think I'll be able to get her attention?"  
She found his sarcasm annoying. "Gosh, I don't know Becker. We'll be passing the gym in about five minutes. Why don't you just give that a shot?"  
"Well it obviously worked for him," Becker nodded towards Ian.  
Ian kept quiet. For the first time in his life, somebody was actually defending him, and he was reeling at the sound of it. He was now a little too winded to speak anyway.

2:45 pm

When the bell rang, Coach Bert told everyone to hit the showers, and this time, he didn't exclude Ian. Even he sensed that while the other kids weren't exactly giving him anything remotely resembling respect, at least now there wasn't the usual overt displays of scorn. He followed the boys to the lockers, just to be on the safe side.

Ian was putting on his socks and shoes, when Becker, Tim and a few other guys gathered around him at his gym locker. He looked up and asked, "Can I help you?"  
Of course, it was Becker who spoke up, "Ian...You actually with' her?"  
Ian paused, carefully taking into consideration how he worded his answer. He stood up, and looked his nemesis right in the eye. "You know Becker, I know exactly what you're thinking right now. That a real man would defend his woman's honour. I'm now supposed to ask you if you'd like to 'step outside' and then make you eat those words." Ian shut his locker. "Well you know what? I'm not into vulgar displays of male plumage. Besides, Rita isn't the kind of girl that's impressed by that sort of thing."  
"You're just chicken, 'cause you know I can beat the stuffing out of you," Becker was not amused by Ian's verbal lingo.  
"Becker, need I remind you that Coach Bert is standing right outside the door. You want to get us both sent to the Principal's office?"  
While the two of them were talking, most of the other guys who were gathered around had started to disperse, until it was basically just Ian, Becker and Tim left in the room. Ian felt this was a major victory. In the past, they certainly would've remained there and taken Becker's side.  
"Let me give you some advice," Ian was now thinking about what Becker had said while they were jogging. "If you're looking for a girlfriend, Betty definitely wouldn't be a good choice for you. I think Phoebe Shan is more the sort who would be impressed by your tiresome bullshit."  
This suggestion enraged Becker, who grabbed Ian by his shirt and held him up against the lockers, "You really think I need advice from a buffoon!?"  
"That's enough, Becker!" Coach Bert's voice came booming from behind him. Apparently he had been hearing the whole conversation from elsewhere in the room. "He just said he didn't want to fight, and you grab him like that anyway? Come with me."  
The coach led Becker away, presumably to the principal's office. For a brief moment, Ian just stood there and basked in the moment. Then he noticed that Tim was still standing there staring at him with his usual confused look. "Tim, you really ought to get a life."  
Who the hell is Tim, anyway? What grade is he in? What's his last name? Nobody seemed to know. A mute, tall, skinny geek who's mouth was always hanging open, though nothing ever came out of it. He always seems to be hanging out with whatever school bully is convenient.  
As Tim disappeared behind the lockers, Ian suddenly remembered that Rita was about to give him a batting lesson. He re-opened his locker, grabbed his baseball bat, and went to meet her.

Meanwhile, in the girl's locker room, a similar conversation had been taking place. Rita had just finished tying her shoes when she looked up to find a gaggle of girls gathered around her. "Uh, is there something I can help you with?" She asked.  
"Yeah," said one girl. "We've all been debating the pros and cons of Ian, and for some reason, haven't been able to come up with any pros."  
"Ian is stupid, lazy, clumsy and butt-ugly," added another.  
"Is he about to inherit a fortune or something?" Asked another.  
"Do you know something about him that we don't?" asked the first girl.  
Rita took a deep breath, and stood up. "Actually, I know a lot of things about him you don't...But I'm only going to tell you the most important one. We've been together for a week now, and in all that time, not once have I ever heard him say anything disparaging or vindictive about any of you." She paused. "As a matter of fact, think about it. Has he ever even said anything mean to you in your presence? Has he ever returned any of your insults?"  
"Of course not," replied one of the girls. "He's too much of a fool to do that." This got some laughs.  
Rita just shook her head. "Alright, I've said all I have to say." She got up and started to walk away, when one of the girls blurted out a final question.  
"You're not actually dating the guy, are you?"  
Rita stopped in her tracks, and thought for a moment...What would be the perfect comeback to that question? She decided that the truth would be funnier than anything she could possibly make up. She turned around, and with a devilish expression, delivered her punch line.  
"I'll have you all know that on the very first day we met, Ian pulled my pants down and stuck his hand between my legs."  
She winked at them, and with that statement walked away, leaving a locker room full of very bewildered looking girls. It was now time to give her boyfriend some batting lessons.

3:07 pm

The batting cage was Alamanda middle school's most unused resource. Located in a corner of the yard, it was installed some twenty years earlier, for reasons that have long since been forgotten. Whenever somebody wanted to practice swinging a bat at a ball, there was generally always someone else around to do the pitching. The idea of having a chain link structure with a machine that pitches balls might've looked good on paper, but now Rita and Ian were even wondering if the thing still worked.  
"When do you suppose, was the last time this apparatus was used?" Asked Rita, as she loaded up a few balls.  
"Who knows." Ian was skeptical "I can't remember ever seeing anybody actually using this thing, this year or last."  
"Well, we'll find out in about twenty seconds. Position yourself at the plate." After switching the machine on, and setting the timer, she walked back to where Ian was standing to get a good view of his technique.  
The first ball shot out. He swung and missed. The second ball shot out. He swung and missed.  
Finally, after the third ball, he turned to her and said, "I think this thing needs to be adjusted so it's a little slower."  
"Watch this." She took the bat from him. and assumed a ready stance.  
"Be careful Rita. Remember, you're not supposed to be putting any stress on your upper body."  
"I'm just going to hit a couple." A ball shot out, and she whacked it right back at the machine, nearly hitting it. Another one shot out, and she knocked it so hard into the chain link ceiling, that it nearly made a dent. Then she stopped, and started to rub her right shoulder with her left hand.  
He walked over and started rubbing it for her. "That's enough showing off for one day."  
"Ian, I think I know what's wrong, and it has nothing to do with your form, which is fine."  
"Stand at the plate again." Rita went and reloaded the balls into the automatic pitcher. She then walked midway through the cage towards him, and held her arm out. "I want you to swing when you see the ball right here."  
The ball came shooting out, and he did what she told him. The ball tipped off his bat and fouled behind him.  
"You're getting it. Try again!" She cheered him on.  
Another ball shot out, and this time Ian connected with it hard. It flew into the opposite upper corner of the cage.  
"Whoa...how did I do that?" Ian couldn't even believe it.  
Rita had figured it out. "Ian, there's nothing wrong at all with your technique. The problem is that you appear to be a little nearsighted. That's why you were missing the ball. It's a lot closer to you than you think it is." Another ball shot out, and without even being prepared, he hit it hard. "Good one, I think you've got it. How do you feel now?"  
"I feel guilty. I wish there was some way I could repay you for this."  
Rita found that statement amusing. "You've got to be kidding. You just spent the last week waiting on me hand and foot, not to mention delivering my homework. You don't owe me anything. Get over here."  
The two youngsters embraced and kissed.  
"So tomorrow are you going to teach me to catch?" asked Ian rhetorically.  
"No. Tomorrow we're taking Steven and Sheila to the movies, remember?"  
Ian rolled his eyes at his own absent mindedness. "Of course. I'll go put back the bat, you go put back the balls, and I'll give you a lift home on my bike. "  
"Wow!How romantic."

3:45 pm

The two of them split off in different directions. Ian went back to his gym locker to put away the bat. Before working the combination, he heard a slight noise coming from two isles over. Was somebody else in there with him? Still holding the bat, he peeked around the corner. At first he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Ricky and Tim appeared to be hugging each other in a more than friendly manner. Once he was convinced that he wasn't hallucinating, it was a struggle to keep from laughing. Finally composing himself, he stepped into full view of them and cracked an obvious joke.  
"Ricky, that's not cool. Felix's been gone for only one day and you're already dating' his wife?"  
Tim instantly went into a state of complete panic. He lunged towards Ian, but Ricky grabbed his arm and held him back.  
"Tim, he's got a bat!"  
"And I'll use it!" Ian now held it up in a menacing manner, and stared at Tim. "As a matter of fact, in your case I think I'm entitled to use it. Don't think it hasn't occurred to me that this is the only place in the entire school where there are no surveillance cameras."  
Ricky stood in front of Tim to shield him. "Ian, please."  
Ian was not moved. "Ricky, do you have any idea how many times this idiot has helped Felix and Becker kick the shit out of me?" He addressed Tim. "From now on, you're the one who's going to fear me." Ian went back to his own locker, put the bat away, and exited the building.  
A few seconds later, Ricky came running out after him. "Ian, wait. You're not going to tell anyone about this, are you?"  
"Tell anyone about what? You think the whole school doesn't already have you figured out? Hey man, be realistic would you? Certainly the drama class has."  
"My dad doesn't know about me," whimpered Ricky.  
"In that case, he's got to be the dumbest Mayor ever. Ricky, how you live your life is of no concern to me, but if you want my advice, I think you could do a little better than Tim." Ian shook his head and looked down. "You sure couldn't possibly do any worse."  
"Have you ever stopped to consider that maybe I don't have a whole lot of choices." Ricky was now on the brink of tears.  
Meanwhile, Rita had reappeared out of the girl's locker room. "Hello Ricky." Both boys simultaneously decided not to say anything more. "I'm sorry, did I interrupt something?"  
"No you didn't. Let's get going."  
He led her to his bike. She perched herself on the rear seat and he handed her his helmet.  
"Put this on."  
"But then you won't have one."  
"Rita, your safety is more important than mine."  
"Ian you know that isn't true..."  
"Stop arguing. You're wearing it and that's that."  
"Yes mom."  
As he pedaled her home, she asked him about what just went on again. "So what were you and Ricky screaming about."  
"I just caught him in the locker room making out with that Tim."  
"Tim?"Rita thought about it for a moment. "Wait a minute, you mean that tall skinny geek with the yellow teeth who's always hanging out with Felix and Becker?"  
"Yes dear, that would be him."  
"Eeeww. That means Ricky could be passing on that guy's germs to me every time we rehearse."  
"Which means you could be passing them on to me."  
The two of them both let out a loud "Eeewww" at the same time, which instantly morphed into chuckles.  
Rita began to ponder out loud, "I wonder if Felix knows about what that guy's up to when he's not around."  
"Well, my guess is that Tim figures that nobody'll suspect anything about him if he goes around beating me up like normal people. That's probably why he hangs out with them."  
"Take my word for it, Ian. By the end of this week, 'beating you up' will no longer be considered 'normal behaviour'."

8:00 am

Rita showed up at school wearing one of Ian's striped shirts. The youngsters, who only a few weeks earlier looked like polar opposites, were now starting to look like twins. The same height, the same age and now even the same clothes. What was even more incredible, is that the majority of the kids who knew them, were already starting to get used to the idea. With Felix and Becker temporarily sidelined, and Tim no longer a threat to be reckoned with, Ian now felt a lot safer traversing the halls in between classes. He continued to say "Hello" to anyone who was in any of his classes, but now, more than a few of them were actually starting to say "Hello Ian" back. Steven was no longer the only person in the school who called him by his first name. Betty and Trish now both addressed him as Ian and not 'idiot'.  
Phoebe was still enraged with them. If anything, the relationship between one of her best friends and the idiot who publicly insulted her mother, made her even more temperamental than usual. What on earth could an intelligent, well-groomed, impeccably made-up Goddess like Rita possibly see in this retarded kid who had no fashion sense whatsoever? Little did she know that this would turn out to be the most transformative day of her life.

1:15 pm

It was in between 4th and 5th period, that Betty and Trish stopped Rita in the hall. They had a look of concern in their eyes that was not common for two girls who were normally as easy-go-lucky as them.  
"Rita, we've got to talk to you," said Trish.  
"What's up?"  
" Betty and I are going to see a movie at the mall while our parents are at the meeting tonight. Want to come along?"  
"Aw, thanks, but I'm already going to do that with Ian this afternoon. We might even catch you arriving as we're leaving."  
"There's something else we wanted to mention," Betty sounded serious. "Phoebe is apparently spending the evening with Felix."  
"What!?" Rita was alarmed. "How...?"  
"Her mom is driving her there, under the pretense that they're going to be doing homework."  
"Homework? They're not even in the same grade!"  
"We don't think her mother really cares, one way or the other. All Phoebe knows is that he lives in the Alveira heights area, which of course, automatically makes him 'desireable' in her strange universe."  
"Rita, we were hoping there's an outside chance that you might be able to talk some sense into her," pleaded Trish."We tried, but to no avail."  
Rita thought about it for a moment. "She's in Norman's 5th period math class, right?"  
"I believe so."  
"I'll catch her as she's leaving. On some level, she's got to realize that this is just plain wrong...and probably dangerous."

2:10 pm

When Phoebe arrived at her locker, Rita was waiting there for her.  
"Ok, what do you want?"  
Rita was slightly thrown by the coldness in her voice. "You haven't spoken to me since yesterday at lunch."  
"Gee, I can't imagine why," was Phoebe's sarcastic retort, as she fiddled with the combination on her locker.  
"Phoebe, are we still friends?"  
"I don't know, are we?"  
"Betty and Trish tell me that you're planning on spending the evening with a guy who just got expelled for beating up my boyfriend."  
Phoebe was incredulous. "Like he's the only person who's ever done that." She slammed her locker shut. "Need I remind you that all last week, your boyfriend was expelled for insulting my mother in front of an entire class...among other things."  
Rita sighed. "I hate to say this Phoebe, but the more I learn about your mother, the more I realize just how much restraint Ian was using when he said what he said."  
"I've heard enough of this." Phoebe started to take off, but Rita grabbed her arm.  
"I don't know whether or not you still consider me to be your friend, but I still consider you to be mine. Please tell me that my phone number is still on speed-dial on your cell phone...Just in case."  
"Just in case what!?"  
"Phoebe, I don't give a damn how big, strong, handsome and wealthy Felix is. I think that guy is seriously dangerous, and I just want you to know that I'm there for you...no matter what."  
Phoebe didn't answer. She didn't know what to say, or for that matter, what to believe...or who to believe. Her confusion was too much. Her mother tells her one thing, her friends tell her the opposite. The fact is that although she instinctively knew how to put on make-up and always wore clothing that showed off her curvaceous figure, the pretty girl was not nearly as emotionally mature as her other friends. The two of them were literally examples of superb raw material, influenced heavily by bad and good parenting, respectively. The two of them parted quietly.

3:45 pm

The Alamanda Galleria was a huge indoor mall, located within short walking distance of the school. It was anchored on either side by two large department stores. The third floor was dominated by culinary businesses and a multiplex. Ian and Steven were seated at the pizza place where the girls were supposed to meet them.  
"Do you think I should offer to pay her admission?" Asked Steven.  
"No, that would be way too obvious. Not unless she specifically indicates that she's short of funds. Remember, Rita just told her that she's going to see a movie at the mall with a couple of friends. She didn't specifically say that it would be her boyfriend and another guy. You don't want to seem too anxious."  
"Well, Ian, I'm certainly not going to argue with the master."  
"Steven, I'm no master at anything. Getting together with Rita was merely the result of a ridiculously improbable string of events. There was an accident in the gym, an earthquake, a large grandfather clock...Not to mention the fact that Trish really knows how to think on her feet...much to my surprise. If any single one of those elements had been out of place, we would not be sitting here right now. Or maybe we would be, but we certainly wouldn't be waiting for anyone."  
Steven was doubtful that lightning could possibly strike twice in the same school. "I've got a feeling that the moment she sees the two of us sitting here, she's going to realize it's a set-up, and off she goes."  
"Well, if that happens, there are other girls." Ian tried to sound as inspirational as possible. "By any chance, do you have a second choice?"  
"Yes, of course. My second choice is anybody who happens to be female."  
Ian spotted the two girls as they emerged from the escalator and waved to them. As they walked over and sat down, it was obvious that Steven's prediction was pretty close to accurate. Although Sheila wasn't making a run for it, the look on her face was indicative of someone who felt she had just been misled. Rita put her arm around Ian's shoulder and gave him a big kiss as usual. Sheila didn't even make eye-contact with Steven.  
"Have you guys picked out a film?" asked Rita.  
Although they actually hadn't, Ian immediately pointed at the marquis. "Yes, that one." It was a romantic comedy.  
"Interesting choice," observed Rita. "Any particular reason?"  
"Yeah, because it starts in about two minutes, and I don't feel like waiting around." Actually, he sensed that Sheila wasn't exactly thrilled with the situation. He was genuinely worried that if he didn't hustle the four of them into the theatre as quickly as possible, she just might run away, like Steven had predicted.

The movie turned out to be o.k, but not great. Ian and Rita held hands and shared a bucket of popcorn, while Steven and Sheila just stared at the screen. Steven's eyes would occasionally drift towards her, but she never returned any glances.

5:30 pm

When it ended, the four of them regrouped at the same table they were sitting at before going inside.  
"That was alright, but I'm probably not going to remember it in a week," said Ian.  
Rita turned to Sheila. "That girl who played the accountant's niece sort of reminded me of you."  
Sheila just sort of stared at all three of them simultaneously, and literally spoke for the first time since she and Rita arrived at the mall. "I enjoyed it. Thanks for inviting me, but I'm not feeling too well. I'll see you guys at school tomorrow." With that, she got up and left.  
As soon as she disappeared down the escalator, Steven stood up and leaned over the table. "You two are the best. I'll see you in class tomorrow."  
"Steven, you can hang with us if you like..." Rita started.  
"Thanks Rita, but I'd feel like a third leg. You guys have already done enough for me." With that, He got up and left.  
Ian looked at Rita and sighed. "Well, we tried." There was a five second pause. "Just out of curiosity, can you picture Betty or Trish with Steven?"  
"No," Rita sounded certain. "Believe it or not Ian, I'm not giving up on Sheila just yet."  
"You've got to be kidding. She didn't even acknowledge his presence once over the last two hours."  
She looked at Ian and smiled. "How soon you forget that there was once a time when I treated you like that."  
"Yeah, but not when there were two mutual friends present."  
"I'll try talking to her tomorrow. You know, my guess is that this probably has nothing to do with Steven. She might just simply not be into guys yet. Not everyone is at our age."  
"Either that or she already has a boyfriend."  
"No, I don't think so. If that was the case, she would've insisted on bringing him along." Rita looked at the big clock in the center of the mall. "It's 5:30 and dark outside. I'll call my mom and see if she'll give us a lift."  
"But I've got my bike."  
"Our car has a rack."

6:03 pm

Rita's mom picked them both up at the mall, and dropped Ian off at his house. Little did the two of them know that this was only the beginning of what would turn out to be a long, tumultuous evening.

7:30 pm

Phoebe's mother was obviously impressed as she drove up to the guard booth of the Alveira Heights gated community.  
"Name?" asked the guard.  
"Shan," she answered.  
Phoebe spoke up from the passenger seat. "The Allan's residence is expecting us."  
The guard turned a couple of pages on his clip-board, wrote something down, and then the crossing gate lifted. Mrs. Shan's eyes were nearly popping out of her head as she slowly made her way through the well kept streets full of gigantic stately homes. The sun had gone down a couple of hours earlier, and the mansions all seemed to look even more impressive in the soft moonlight. She was in heaven. These were the sort of residences she fantasized about in her dreams.  
"So what class is this boy in with you?"  
"Huh?" Phoebe was caught a little off guard.  
"You said that you and he are going to be studying together."  
Of course that wasn't the case. Even if Felix hadn't been expelled, he was in the 9th grade, and the two of them weren't in any classes together. That was just an excuse she used to get her mom to drive her to his home.  
"Um..." Phoebe wasn't sure how to answer this.  
"Well, it doesn't matter, Phoebe. I'm just glad you're making friends with the right people."  
Whether or not Felix was a straight-A student or an axe murderer was meaningless in the warped mind of Phoebe's mother. To her, anybody who lived in a cozy neighborhood like this fell under the category of 'the right people.'  
Phoebe glanced at the road map. "Turn left up ahead. It should be just around the corner."  
As the car rounded the bend, the Allan estate came into view. Mrs. Shan was beside herself. She parked the car in front of what had to be the longest walkway either of them had ever seen.  
"Listen Phoebe, the meeting at the school is going to last about two hours, and it's going to take me at least a half hour to get there and back. Three hours should be more than enough time to get whatever studying you need done. I hope you also take some time to get to know this boy and his family a little better."  
"Mom, you haven't even met him yet. Let me introduce you..."  
"Phoebe dear, I'm going to be late for the meeting. I'm sure he's a nice kid. Just go knock on the door, and when he answers, I'll wave to the two of you."  
Phoebe got out of the car and scurried up the walkway. She rang the bell and it didn't take long for Felix to open the door.  
"Hello babe." Getting expelled from school had done nothing to mute Felix's usual narcissistic demeanor.  
"Hi Felix...Wave to my mom." Phoebe turned around and waved, and Felix did likewise.   
Neither of them could actually see her mother in the darkness. Her mother could barely see them as well. The porch was dimly lit, and at least twenty yards from the curb. She could just make out two small silhouettes waving their hands. She was satisfied that someone was home, and drove off.  
"Come on in." Felix led her through a cavernous foyer. As they walked, their footsteps echoed loudly. The place was not well lit, and a bit like a museum after hours. Phoebe did her best to ignore the sheer creepiness of the whole situation. Soon they arrived at a room in the back with a huge high definition widescreen television covering up most of the wall. "Have a seat." He motioned towards the couch that was facing the TV.  
Phoebe was understandably a little curious that no one appeared to be in this giant sized estate besides him. She thought she would be meeting his family. "So are your folks going to the P.T.A. meeting too?"  
"Nope, they're not here." He sat down next to her. "They're at our other home near the coast."  
A lot of thoughts were now racing through Phoebe's head. Just how rich are these people? How did they acquire all this wealth. What on earth is Felix doing in a public school in the first place? Don't people this rich, usually send their kids to private schools?  
"Do you have any brothers or sisters?" It was just starting to occur to Phoebe how little she really knew about him. "I have an older brother. He's off at college."  
"Usually places this size come with butlers and maids."  
"The help doesn't live on the premises. The maids arrive at eight and leave at five." The conversation wasn't going the way he wanted it to. "So is there any movie in particular that you'd like to see? We've got a big collection."  
He pointed towards a large bookcase that was filled with DVDs. She got up to examine them. Unlike Rita's father's library, this one full of movies of a more recent vintage. She was a little disturbed by the staggering amount of horror films there were in the collection.  
"Well what haven't you seen yet?" She asked.  
"I've seen all of them Phoebe, but I wouldn't mind seeing any of them again. It's always different when you watch it with someone else."  
Felix had it all planned. Like most guys, he knew that a good scary movie might cause a girl to suddenly grab on to whoever is sitting next to her for protection. The oldest trick in the book. Phoebe actually assumed that she would be snuggling up next to him on the sofa, but not while watching something like that. She was thinking more along the lines of a romantic film for a romantic evening.  
"I've got a better idea," she sat back down on the couch. "Why don't we just see what's on TV?"  
Felix tossed her the remote control. "Knock yourself out. There's a big satellite dish outside. We've got every channel on the planet, and whatever you want to watch is fine with me."  
She picked up the remote, and started to flip through the channels. Her female instincts kicked in when she stumbled upon a romantic scene between two people in an opulent restaurant. It didn't matter that she didn't see the beginning, or really know what it was about yet. This was obviously a recent chick-flick, and girls are just naturally hardwired to zoom in on this sort of material.  
"Let's see what this is."  
"Alright." Felix sat down next to her and put his arm around her shoulders.  
Phoebe leaned into him, and they both settled into watching the film. For the next half hour or so, they would remain in this position, with Felix occasionally kissing the top of her head. This would eventually change.

8:15 pm, Alamanda Middle School

The parents and teachers had gone through all the requisite greetings and handshakes. Eventually they all filed into the school auditorium and found their seats.  
Principal Raoul stepped up to the lectern stage left, and addressed the crowd. "Greetings, parents and faculty. I would greatly appreciate it if, for the next hour, you would all please turn off your cell phones." As he spoke, a giant screen descended from the ceiling behind him. "This is a short film that describes how the new spy-cam system works. As you are all probably aware by this time, we have already had to expel one student who we caught assaulting another student in the hall."  
Oddly enough, Ian's parents had no idea whatsoever that the recipient of that assault was their son. Ian never talked about stuff like that with them. He just figured that they would assume that it must have been something he did.  
The seemingly innocuous hour long deactivation of the cell phones would usher in a watershed moment in at least one girl's life.

8:32 pm, Felix's House

The movie was heading towards its climax. On the screen, the two romantic leads were now engaged in a long, romantic kiss. Felix decided that this was his cue. He held Phoebe a little tighter, hoping that she would take the hint. She nervously turned to face him and closed her eyes. Despite all her braggadocio, the fact is, this would be the first time she had ever kissed a guy full on the lips. She basically just imitated what was happening on TV. Although she didn't exactly feel any fireworks, the experience wasn't unpleasant either. She was slightly disappointed that her first kiss proved to be a fairly unmemorable moment. She briefly opened her eyes, gave him a half smile, and then tried again.  
This time, however, he decided to be a little more aggressive, and put his tongue in her mouth. Phoebe definitely did not enjoy this, but pretended that she did, simply because she didn't want to let him know that she had never done this before. She felt that it wouldn't look good if word got around that she was a bad kisser.  
The two of them turned and watched the screen as the credits rolled. As the film ended, they turned to each other and kissed once more. This time, Felix really decided to press his luck. As they kissed, he reached over and put his hand on her breast.  
Phoebe gasped. She wasn't even going to attempt to pretend that this was within the boundaries of her comfort zone. "Uh, Felix..." she grabbed his hand and removed it.  
"Sorry," He sounded insincere, but she was glad that she wasn't going to have to put up a fight.  
This moment proved to be an epiphany for her. She now realized that she was in danger, and started to question what her own motives were for spending the evening with him in the first place...Did I come here to please my mother? Did I come here to prove that I could get a better looking guy than Rita? Did I come here to try and convince myself that I'm ready for something that I'm actually not ready for? It was probably a little of all three, but mostly the latter. Needless to say, his motives were now obvious.   
Nonetheless, knowing that she was stuck there for at least another hour and a half before her mom came for her, she quickly decided to change the subject. "That was good, can I see what else is on?"  
Felix sighed. "Sure, I'll be back in a minute or two."  
After he left the room, Phoebe started to flip around with the remote. My God, she had never seen so many channels in so many different languages. What was the point of having all these stations that no one is ever going to watch?

Felix re-entered the room, with a couple of beverage filled glasses. "Perhaps some refreshments are in order." He placed one of the glasses down in front of her on the coffee table, while he continued to hold the other.  
Phoebe could tell by the color that they were filled with liquor of some sort. "Um, I usually only drink on certain occasions."  
"Well, why don't we just pretend it's Christmas...or whatever your preference is."  
Once again, she directed his attention towards the big screen. "You know, Rita and I had to do a sociology report that involved this film. It's called The Maltese Falcon. The dialogue is real difficult to..."  
All of a sudden she stopped. The movie was at the scene near the end, when Humphrey Bogart was talking to Sidney Greenstreet, "So that's when you slipped me a Mickey..."  
Phoebe now gazed down in horror at the glass of wine in front of her. Suddenly, Rita's words kept ringing in her ears about not being able to trust this guy.  
"What's wrong?" Asked Felix.  
"Huh?" She was clearly distracted.  
"You were about to tell me something about this movie?"  
"Oh," she composed herself. "Just that it's real hard to understand what's going on. "Listen Felix, I really don't feel like drinking anything with alcohol in it right now. By any chance, do you have a can of soda or something?"  
"I believe we've got some Pepsi."  
"That'll be fine."  
Felix put his glass down on the coffee table and left the room. As soon as he was gone, Phoebe suddenly had an idea. She picked up both of the glasses of wine, and switched them around, being very careful to put one glass in the exact place that he had left the other. If he were to pass out next to her after drinking from it, her suspicions would no longer be ambiguous.  
Suddenly, the story got a little more complicated. She clearly heard the sound of the top being popped off of a Pepsi can from the direction that he just headed towards. If several red flags had already been hoisted, they were now really flapping in the breeze. At least thirty seconds had elapsed since she heard the can open, and still no sign of him.  
"Felix, What's taking you so long?"  
"I'll be there in a second" came the voice from the other room. He then walked in, handed her the can, and sat down next to her.  
"Y-You didn't have to open it for me." She tried not to stutter. Her hand was also starting to tremble a little.  
"I'm just being' a gentleman." He sat down next to her, and put his arm around her once again. "Hey, you're shaking. Are you cold?"  
"No, it's not that." Her mind was now going haywire...What do I do now? "Uh, which way is the bathroom?"  
Felix pointed to the door that they entered through. "That way. Make a right at the end of the hall."  
"Thanks, I'll be right back."  
That was a lie. Phoebe knew what she had to do. First she walked down the hall, opened the bathroom door, and without actually going inside, turned the light on. She then shut the door loudly enough for him to hear. It was time to make her escape. She tiptoed through the cavernous entry hall and opened the front door as quietly as possible, exited, and then shut it behind her in equally as quiet a manner. Once she was outside, she ran. She wasn't sure of which direction she was going, but she wanted to get as far away from that house as possible. She whipped her cell phone out, and immediately set it so that any incoming calls from Felix would receive an instruction to just leave a message. Once she was about two blocks away, she managed to compose herself enough to speed-dial her mother's number....nothing. Her mom's cell phone had been turned off. Now she was starting to panic. She didn't want to be wandering around in the dark late at night in some strange neighborhood. What if Felix were to come looking for her? She quickly scanned through the list of all the other numbers she had listed on speed-dial, focusing on the adults. Since all the adults were at the meeting, perhaps she could ask one of her friend's parents to relay a message to her mom. She tried giving Trish's parents a call. No luck. Just her voice mail. Same with Betty's and Rita's. It soon became evident that everyone's phone was turned off.  
She tried calling Trish and Betty, but they were both in the theatre at the mall, and had to turn their cells off. Finally, there was Rita. Phoebe just stared at her number for a minute, pondering the amount of crow she was going to have to eat, if she dialled it. Rita did practically order her to give her a call under these exact circumstances. Preparing to humble herself, she pushed the button. It rang twice, and a familiar voice answered.  
"Hello?"  
Phoebe's voice had a noticable tremble in it. "It's me, Rita."  
"Phoebe?"  
"You were right. Felix is a creepy guy who lives in a big creepy house."  
"Where are you!?" She sounded frantic.  
"Right where I shouldn't be."  
"Phoebe, get out of that house!"  
"I'm already out of the house. I sneaked out when he wasn't looking. I'm a couple of blocks away, hiding in the bushes."  
"Have you tried calling your mom?"  
"Yes. I've even tried calling your mom. Apparently something is going on at the school that required them to all shut their phones off." Phoebe was now crying profusely.  
courage than anything you have ever done in your life. Are you up for it?"  
"I'm up for anything that'll get me away from here." she whimpered.  
"Alright." Rita pushed a few buttons on her phone. "My boyfriend has an older sister who drives, and has her own car. Give him a call, and inform him of the situation. Perhaps he can persuade her to give you a lift."  
"Ian?" Phoebe was ashen-faced.  
"If you want him to be receptive to the idea, I strongly suggest that you call him by his real name. You do know what that is, don't you?"  
"Wouldn't it make a lot more sense if you were to call him? He'll probably just hang up on me...And frankly, I don't blame him."  
"Phoebe, it's the principle of the matter. You've discovered some important things about the boy you love this evening. Now I think it's time you learned a little about the boy you hate. That is, unless you want to wait another hour for that P.T.A. meeting to end."  
Phoebe was now starting to get cold. "Alright, I'll give it a try."  
"Call me back as soon as you get off the phone with him and let me know how it goes."  
"Alright, Goodbye."  
She punched in the number that Rita sent her and pressed 'send.' In many ways, this was even more nerve-wracking than sneaking out of Felix's house. If Rita hadn't given her the tongue lashing she knew she deserved, perhaps Ian would make up for it.  
"Hello?" The familiar voice answered. Ian was busy making himself a sandwich.  
"Hello." Phoebe was so nervous she could hardly speak.  
"Who is this?"  
"It's Phoebe."  
Ian couldn't imagine why she would be calling him. "Alright, what did I do this time?"  
"You didn't do anything. But this is the hardest thing I will ever do in my lifetime."  
"What are you talking about?"  
"I'm in big trouble, and I need your help. Rita tells me that you've got a sister with a car."  
"Yeah?" He was understandably suspicious.  
"Ian, I need someone to pick me up."  
He was flabbergasted. This was the first time she had ever called him by his first name, and actually got it right. "Phoebe, where are you?"  
"Near Felix's house..."  
"Oh, so that's it, huh?" The mere mention of Felix's name caused a red flag to go up in his head. This sounded just like the sort of cruel joke that he would likely put Phoebe up to. "Listen, you tell Felix to go screw himself. I'm not falling for that again. I've gotten a little older and wiser over the last few months."  
"Ian, I'm serious. He's trying to..."  
"I'm not as stupid as you think." He hung up on her.  
Phoebe immediately called Rita back.  
It took less than half a ring for her to answer. "Phoebe?"  
"He didn't believe me, and I don't blame him. He hung up on me."  
"Hang tight. I'll give him a call." Rita hung up and called her boyfriend.  
"Hello?" He was now eating the sandwich he had just prepared.  
"Hi Ian, it's me."  
"Hello Angel. You're not going to believe this, but Phoebe just tried to lure me into..."  
"Ian, she really was at Felix's this evening..."  
"Perfect. I cannot think of two people on the planet who are more deserving of each other's company." He continued to munch on his sandwich.  
"You've got to listen to me. This is not a practical joke. She's genuinely in trouble."  
He sensed the urgency in her voice. "You're really positive she's not trying to pull something over on you, just to stick it to me?"  
"Ian, listen. You know I would never lie to you. Phoebe has a lot of deep-rooted psychological problems. They all stem from the fact that her mother is a whore. Believe me when I tell you that buried deep inside that self-centered girl is a genuinely good person trying to claw its way to the surface."  
Ian was still skeptical. "Need I remind you that the 'genuinely good person' you are talking about would've hit me in the back of the head with a very large anthropology textbook if you hadn't held her back..."  
"Well you did insult her mother in front of a whole class..."  
"And if she had insulted mine, I might've been indignant, but I certainly wouldn't have..."  
"That's because you're a much better person than her!" Rita was now crying. "Ian, I'm going to make this as plain as possible. Felix lured her over to his house this evening. He evidently tried to pull something on her that was similar to whatever it was he pulled on you. She managed to escape, and is now hiding in the bushes somewhere in his neighborhood."  
"So why doesn't she call her mom?"  
"Because they evidently made all of our parents turn off their cell phones at the meeting tonight. If you don't believe me, try calling yours."  
"I'll take your word for it."  
"Ian, a week and a half ago you completely forgave me for treating you like garbage," She was now screaming. "Now it's time for you to do the same for Phoebe!"  
"Alright," he sighed. "First I've got to go ask Erma if she's got time for this." Ian carried the cell phone down the hall. His sister's door was open, and she was lying on the bed, reading something. "Erma, I've got a favour to ask."  
She put the book down. "What's up?"  
"Somebody I know at school has gotten herself into a serious jam, and needs a ride. She's about twenty minutes away from here."  
"Do I have to drive through a crummy neighborhood?"  
"As a matter of fact, just the opposite. She's in the Alveira Heights area. We'll be the ones who are considered to be the undesirables in that part of town."  
Unknown to Ian, Mabel had been listening in on the conversation from her bedroom across the hall. She walked up behind him. "You guys are going for a ride into the ALveira Heights district? Cool. Can I come along?"  
"Well, since both of you are obviously into this, I guess I have no choice." Erma put down the book and reached for her jacket.  
Ian spoke to Rita, who was still on the phone. "Alright, it looks like we're off to the rescue."  
"Thank you so much. Ian, can you guys bring her over to my house?"  
"Sure, why not."  
"You've got her number, right?"  
"Yeah, it's still in my phone's memory from when she called a few minutes ago. I'll give her a call and keep you posted."  
"I love you."  
"I love you too." Ian hung up.  
The three of them all piled into Erma's car

"Do you know exactly where we're going?" inquired his older sister.  
"Just drive in the general direction of ALveira Heights. I'll give you more specific instructions once we're in the area." Ian now picked up his phone once again, and punched in Phoebe's number. It took less than half a ring for her to answer.  
"Hello?" Her voice was still trembling.  
"Phoebe, it's Ian. I just got a call from Rita. We're coming to get you."  
"Th-thank you."  
"Listen, for the time being, just calm down. You are not walking in some dark back alley on skid row. You're in a well lit wealthy gated community. There's no need to be hiding in anybody's bushes."  
"I'm afraid of Felix."  
Ian sighed. "Yeah, welcome to my nightmare. Look. Just start walking towards the guard gate. If you walk at a brisk enough pace, you'll keep warm, and by my estimate, you should arrive there several minutes before we do."  
Phoebe got up and started walking. "Alright, I'm on my way."  
"Give me a call if there's a problem. I'll see you in about 15 minutes." Ian hung up the phone. As soon as he did, it rang again.  
This time it was Rita. "Ian, there's something I've got to ask you."  
"Yeah?"  
"Obviously you've known him a lot longer than I have. What exactly is Felix's story?"  
"Needless to say, I'm no authority on what makes him tick either. All I know is that his parents are really rich...I mean, we're talking nine figures...and that they're hardly ever home.."  
"In other words, this is a guy who's used to getting whatever he wants, whenever he wants it." said Rita. "Yeah, on top of being rich, he's also tall, handsome and muscular. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if getting expelled was his very first brush with anything remotely resembling adversity."  
"That actually explains a lot. I'll see you a little later."  
"Bye Angel." Ian closed his cell phone  
Erma had been listening in on the conversation, and was curious to know what was going on. "So exactly what kind of a problem has this friend of yours got herself into?"  
"I'm not so sure she's my friend," Ian was even more droll than usual. "Basically, we're on a mission to rescue an idiot from the clutches of an even bigger idiot."  
Erma didn't press the matter any further. She and Mabel just kicked back and enjoyed the scenery for the next fifteen minutes. Ian finally gave a couple of specific directions.  
"Turn right up ahead, and then drive a couple of blocks. You'll see a guard booth on the right. She should be wafting for us there."  
Erma followed his instructions, and sure enough, there was Phoebe. She seemed to be shivering, even though the guard had lent her his jacket.  
As they drove up, Ian swung the right rear door open. "Jump in, Phoebe."  
Phoebe handed the guard his jacket and thanked him. She then got in the car, never dreaming there would actually come a day when she would be relieved to see Ian.  
"You alright?" He asked.  
Without looking at him, she answered very quietly, "Yes."  
"These are my sisters, Erma and Mabel. This is Phoebe Shan."  
The three girls exchanged hellos and Erma spoke up. "So where do you live, Phoebe?"  
"We're not taking her home," interrupted Ian. "We're taking her to my girlfriend's house. It's not far from ours."  
With that, Erma drove off. For the first five minutes of the ride, Phoebe just sat in silence. For her, it was still unbelievably strange hearing Ian using the phrase 'my girlfriend' when referring to Rita.  
"Phoebe, I think there's something you should know."  
She turned and looked at him with a blank expression. Ian took this as a sign that he had at least earned her respect, if not her friendship. Ordinarily, she would just flip him off.  
He continued. "Last summer, out of the blue, I got a call from Felix one day. I asked him what he wanted. He said that he and a bunch of guys had a party going on at his house, and he invited me over. I couldn't believe it. I thought he hated me, and I asked him about that. He said that that was just a school thing, and...you know, what the hay. It's summer, and he had a big backyard with a big pool, and the more the merrier, bla,bla,bla..."  
The expression on her face remained blank, but Phoebe listened attentively.  
"Anyhow, being the idiot that I am, I hopped on my bike, and pedalled all the way out here. To make a long story short, the moment I set foot in the backyard, he and three other guys grabbed me, and tossed me in the pool, fully clothed. At first I thought, Oh great. Now I'm going to have to cycle home soaking wet. Well, at least it was a hot day." The expression on Ian's face now became noticeably more serious. "Then something happened that I really wasn't expecting. Felix jumped in the pool after me, and proceeded to hold my head underwater. I'm not talking about just for a moment. I mean for a good forty seconds. He had an iron grip on the back of my neck, and I could hardly move."  
Phoebe was now gripping her cell phone tightly.  
"Finally, I did the only thing that was left to do. I reached out, grabbed his balls, and squeezed them so hard that I wouldn't be surprised if there was permanent damage. It incapacitated him long enough for me to finally come up for air and get out of that pool. The other guys at the party started to chase me, but I noticed that I had one advantage over all of them. I was still wearing sneakers, and they were all barefoot. I took off through that wooded area behind the backyard where the ground is covered with briars and brambles, so they gave up on the chase pretty fast. I managed to circle around, grab my bike in front of the house and make it home, soaking wet, but intact."  
Phoebe looked down as she was taking all of this in. For the last hour she had merely suspected Felix of being a creepy guy. Now it was no longer ambiguous.  
"The point is, I want you to know that unlike, say, Becker or Tim, Felix is no ordinary schoolyard bully. The guy is a genuine psycho, and I do believe that he is going to kill somebody someday. Last summer, that somebody was almost me, and tonight, that somebody could easily have been you." Ian leaned back. "Anyway, I'm sorry I didn't believe you when you called me earlier, but I hope this explains why. For all I knew, he might've convinced you to work with him. Your call had all the hallmarks of yet another ambush."  
Phoebe now looked up and with an expression on her face that was indescribable, finally spoke up. "I can't believe you're apologizing. If the roles had been reversed and you had called me, I would've hung up in your face, even if I knew you were telling the truth."  
The remaining five minutes of the drive to Rita's house were completely silent, save for Ian giving his older sister a few last minute directions.

9:30 pm

Rita ran out of her front door upon seeing the car pull up in front of her house. Phoebe stepped outside followed by Ian, and the two girls immediately embraced.  
"You had me so worried!" Rita held her tighter. "Go inside the house and try to relax, I'll be in a minute."  
Phoebe started to head for the front door, but stopped and turned around. "Hey Ian..."  
"Yes?" Answered Ian, who was leaning against the car.  
"...um, Ian...I owe you one. Big time."  
Ian paused for a moment to gather his thoughts. "You know, there actually is a favour I'd like to ask of you."  
"What's that?"  
"Tomorrow after school, can you meet me in room 201?"  
Phoebe thought for a moment. "I guess. What exactly did you have in mind?"  
"You'll see. Good night"  
With that, Phoebe waved goodbye and disappeared into the house. Rita then threw her arms around Ian and planted a huge kiss which knocked him backward on to the hood of the car. Erma and Mabel observed this with both amazement and amusement.  
"I swear you are the best!"  
"Um, have you met my sisters?" Ian managed to ask.  
Without answering, Rita went right to the open passenger door window. "Hello Ian's sisters!"  
"Uh, Erma and Mabel, this is my girlfriend Rita" Ian managed to blurt out.  
"Hi" the two sisters said in unison."  
"Thank you so much for picking up my friend," Rita was animated.  
"No prob," responded Erma.  
"Hey, did you know that your brother is a hero?" Rita was now embarrassing Ian.  
"Well, I guess we do now" Mabel was struggling not to burst out laughing.  
"Excuse us a moment" Ian pulled Rita aside. "Rita, did you have any plans for Saturday morning?"  
"Actually, I was planning on spending it with you as usual."  
"Great. Can you be at the corner of 15th street at around 10:00?"  
She thought about it for a moment. "Isn't that where that fancy private school is?"  
"That's the place. I've got a surprise for you."  
"Really Ian? Can you give me a hint?"  
"No. Just be there. I don't think you'll be disappointed."  
"Okay sir!" She gave him one last kiss, then waved at Erma and Mabel. "Nice meeting you. Perhaps we'll be sisters in law some day!"  
"See you tomorrow Angel." Ian climbed back in the car as Rita disappeared into the house. His sisters were both starring over their shoulders at him with wide grins on their faces. "What're you two leering at?"  
"You're girlfriend is very pretty" observed Mabel.  
"Gosh, you noticed that too?" Ian responded sarcastically. There was a long pause, as they kept grinning at him. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go."  
Finally Erma spoke up. "Come on Ian, aren't you going to tell us how a nerd like you managed to get a babe like that?"  
By this time, he was a bit steamed. "You know, that's something like the fiftieth time I've been asked that question over the last seventy two hours. I' had enough for today."  
The girls both shook their heads and laughed, and the car sped off towards home.

9:45 pm

The girls were in Rita's room. The light was off, and not needed. The full moon softly lit both of their faces. Phoebe was still a little shaken from the evening's events, but finally beginning to calm down. She knew that Rita was about to give her a major tongue lashing .  
"Go ahead" Phoebe's eyes started to tear.  
"What do you mean 'Go ahead'?"  
"You're about to give me a big lecture of the 'I told you so' variety. Let's just get it out of the way."  
"No I'm not. If you ask me, you were really impressive this evening...not letting your pride get in the way of your survival instincts like that. This is the first time I've ever heard you admit to being wrong about anything, and believe me, I feel a lot closer to you as a result."  
Phoebe was speechless.  
Rita continued. "And now, I've got to tell you something that might completely destroy our friendship, or make it a lot stronger, depending on how you react to it."  
"I'm listening."  
Rita took a deep breath. "Phoebe, your mother is a really bad person and an unfit parent."  
Surprisingly, Phoebe did not feel insulted. "I take it that you discovered her website."  
"Actually, Trish and Betty discovered it by accident while they were doing their assignments, and E-Mailed me the link."  
Phoebe now looked particularly glum. "Does Ian know about it?"  
"As a matter of fact, no, Phoebe. None of the three of us saw any need in telling anybody else about it."  
"Thank you."  
"But you're completely missing the point. Being a porn actress twenty years ago isn't what makes her a bad person. As a matter of fact, that's actually kind of funny. I'll bet a lot of the other parents who are at the meeting right now probably recognize her, but are too embarrassed to admit it."  
"Yeah," Phoebe concurred. "I wouldn't be at all surprised if Norman was one of them."  
"Phoebe, what's wrong with your mother is her overall view of the human condition. All that shit about 'seeking out the alpha male' and 'marrying up' is just that. A load of shit. Tell me how long she's been feeding you that shit."  
Phoebe thought about it for a moment. "I guess since last year."  
"Yeah, that would make sense."  
"Why?"  
"Ian tells me that he's known you since the fourth grade, and that back then, you weren't particularly mean to him."  
Once again, Phoebe paused. "You know, a lot of things are starting to make sense. I'm just now beginning to realize how abnormal my mother is."  
Rita leaned forward. "I'm listening."  
"When I got my first period, instead of just giving me the usual talk about how to maintain proper gynecological hygiene, she started going on and on about what type of boys I should date...and more specifically, what kind I should avoid."  
"When she dropped you off at Felix's tonight, what was her impression of him?"  
"She never even met him." Phoebe was now slightly embarrassed.  
"What!?"  
"She just took one look at the size of that house and dropped me off. Apparently it told her all she needed to know about him." Phoebe's embarrassment was now starting to morph into anger as she started to realize the accuracy of Rita's assessment of her mother's parenting skills.  
Rita just shook her head. "I've got to tell you, from the moment you introduced me to that guy, and there was something about him that rubbed me the wrong way. Has he tried calling you since you left his house?"  
"I put his number on my cell's ignore list about an hour ago." Phoebe took out her phone and checked for any unanswered calls. "Apparently not...I wonder if he drank his own poison."  
"What?"  
"Um, nothing...listen Rita, can I ask you something that I have no right to ask at this point?"  
"I suppose."  
"Why Ian?"  
"Huh?"  
"You can easily have any guy in the school, or for that matter, outside the school that you want, and you're with Ian."  
Rita mulled it over for a second, and then responded, "Hmm, let's turn this question around. Why not?"  
Phoebe took a deep breath. "Alright, I'll state the obvious. When he graduates from high school, if he graduates, you know there's no way that someone with his grades is going to be accepted to any college. I can't even picture him in a community college. He's probably going to just wind up bagging groceries at some supermarket. The best case scenario I can see for him is possibly working his way up to cashier after about five years."  
As Phoebe spoke, Rita was rubbing her chin, absorbing it all.  
"Well Phoebe, I don't know about you, but in my book, cashiering is certainly preferable to prison, which is probably where Felix is going to wind up even before he graduates high school."  
"Please Rita, I've already conceded that was a big mistake, and I am embarrassed about it."  
Rita continued. "You know, as I'm sitting here listening to your mouth off, I just keep learning more and more about your mother's philosophy of the world. Apparently she doesn't think too highly of the working class in general, huh?"  
She looked down. She knew that she had said enough.  
"Phoebe, now that we're getting all of this out in the open, would you like to explain to me why I've never met your dad?"  
Knowing the jig was up, Phoebe just acquiesced. "Before I was born, my mother was an adult film actress. Apparently, I was conceived on the set of one of her films." She looked down. "I lied when I said my parents are divorced. They were never married. I don't even know who my dad is, and my mom isn't too sure either. She was a shrewd business woman, however. She's one of the only...talents in that field who actually owns a piece of all her films from the 1980s. So she makes a little profit every time one of them is aired. Not just on her website, but any others as well."  
"Alright, there's something else I've got to ask you." Rita put her hand on her friend's shoulder. "Why the hell do you hate Ian as much as you do? Even following your mother's twisted view of humanity would only make him someone to avoid, not hate. What is the source of your hostility?"  
Tears were now starting to drip down Phoebe's cheeks. "I don't know. I guess it's because everyone else seems to hate him, and I was afraid that if I didn't, they'd hate me too."  
Rita now put both arms around her friend and hugged her tight. "O.K. Phoebe, it's time for me to answer your initial question."  
"I've even forgotten what that was" sniffed Phoebe.  
"The question was, 'Why Ian?' and I'm going to tell you." She now held Phoebe's hands as she spoke. "Quite simply, he has the most profound sense of self-awareness of anyone I have ever met. He may not be a scholar or a star athlete, but at least he's aware of his limitations, and doesn't pretend to be either. Furthermore, he treats me like royalty. He doesn't even curse when he's around me, and I do curse when I'm around him...a lot!"  
"What's up with all those striped polo shirts? Doesn't he have any other clothes?"  
This question brought a smile to Rita's face. "Actually, there's a great story behind them. He told me that last summer, he was at the mall, and noticed that K-mart was having a massive close-out on those things. They were going for something like two dollars each. He just walked in and tried one on. Once he figured out what size he wore, he just bought one in each color combination, feeling rather clever for being able to purchase a year's worth of wardrobe for fewer than twenty bucks. The part that I find most amusing is how delighted he was that he only had to try on one pair, and not waste a lot of time in the dressing room. Compare that to the likes of Felix, who probably spends at least an hour combing his hair in the mirror every morning." Rita shook her head and sighed. "Ian might not be particularly coordinated or athletic, but he sure is masculine."  
"And that's another thing," Phoebe continued. "You know, some people would say that a guy who publicly takes batting lessons from his girlfriend has no shame."  
"And some others might say that is the ultimate demonstration of someone who is secure in his masculinity."  
Phoebe paused. "Rita, I've got one more question to ask. And it's of a slightly more personal nature."  
"I think I can guess where this is going."  
"Do you and Ian...you know...?"  
Rita smiled. "Phoebe, what the two of us do when we're alone is between me and Ian. I know that it's traditional for girls to get together and gossip about this sort of stuff. But I'm not going to. By this time, I'm sure that more than a few guys have asked him about that, and I'm also sure that he doesn't answer them. I intend to show him the same courtesy. I'm afraid you're just going to have to use your imagination."  
This was not what Phoebe was expecting to hear at all. "Well, Felix tried to feel me up, and it really creeped me out."  
"Ah, hah," declared Rita. "You don't realize it, but you just revealed something really important about yourself."  
"What's that?"  
"Phoebe, I don't think you're ready to have a boyfriend yet. And by the way, that's nothing to be ashamed of. You were never really attracted to Felix in the first place. You just thought it would make you look cool, hanging out with a rich 9th grader. As a matter of fact, it probably has a lot to do with why you're so good at math. You're mind isn't all clouded with...other things, like mine is...and Ian's is."  
"So do you know what it is that he wants to see me about in room #201 tomorrow afternoon?" Phoebe's tears were starting to dry a bit.  
"I have no idea, but I'm sure you'll be pleasantly surprised. Ian has a way of making things interesting, no matter what the situation is." Rita looked down at her watch. "You know, the P.T.A. meeting should be coming to an end about now. It's time to give your mom a call and let her know that you're no longer at Felix's. You can have her pick you up over here, or if you'd like, I can have my folks give you a lift home."  
"That's O.K Rita, I'll give my mom a call. You've done enough for me this evening."

10:00 PM

Upon arriving home, Ian went straight to his room and resumed his position at the computer, trying to make sense of his math homework. The evening's excitement was once again tempered by his realization that it still wasn't making any sense to him, and that there would be a test at the end of the week. There was a knock at the door.  
"Come in." Ian looked over his shoulder. Erma entered with a serious look on her face. "What's up?"  
"I couldn't help but overhear that discussion you were having with your friend in the back seat."  
"I'm not so sure she's my friend just yet."  
"That's not what I came here to talk about, Ian."  
"I'm really busy Erma, would you get to the point."  
"How come you never told any of us about being thrown in a pool, and nearly getting drowned?"  
Ian let go of the mouse and swung around in the swivel chair. "And might I ask what good that would've done? It would've been my word against about twelve others who were at that party."  
While Erma was vaguely aware of the fact that her brother wasn't exactly the most popular kid in middle school, she had no idea of the situation's magnitude. "Ian, what had you done to deserve the hostility?"  
Ian thought about the question for a few seconds, and then snapped back. "You want to know the truth? It's mainly your fault."  
"My fault?" Erma was understandably confused. "Would you like to explain that?"  
"Two years ago, you just had to be the school best student. Most of the teachers you had are now my teachers. Very few days go by without at least one of them telling me about what an idiot I am compared to you. Your old math teacher Norman is particularly sadistic about it. He always makes sure the whole class is listening while he's berating me. The students just follow his lead...and most of the other teacher's leads as well."  
Erma was at a loss for words. "I'm sorry. I had no idea Norman could be such a..."  
"Look," Ian interrupted. "I sincerely wish to thank you for helping out tonight with the driving and all, but I've got to get back to studying all this useless crap, that I'll either never understand, or immediately forget a day after I learn it." With that, he spun around in his chair and buried his face in the computer screen once again.  
"Goodnight Ian."  
"Goodnight."

7:30 am

Phoebe was awake a little bit late. All the excitement of the previous evening had taken its toll. Not having time to carefully apply make-up and choose exactly the right clothing as was her normal routine, the still tired girl just slipped into an easy fitting pair of corduroys and threw a sweatshirt over her head. She made her way to the breakfast room, poured herself a bowl of cereal and gulped it down. After quickly gathering all her books together in her backpack, she made her way towards the door, when her mother walked in.  
"Phoebe, what are you doing?"  
Phoebe turned around slowly, still half-squinting. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm going to school."  
"Dressed like that?" The disapproving look on the woman's face seemed to make little impression on her daughter. "That's the sort of stuff that's alright to relax in around the house, but what are all your friends going to think..?"  
"Mom, believe it or not, this is how most of my friends dress. Rita, Trish and Betty are the exceptions."  
"I don't care how most kids dress. I don't want anyone to think we can't afford..."  
"I don't feel like dressing up today." Phoebe cut her off. Rita's words were still ringing in her ears, and she was seeing and hearing her mother in a whole new light this morning. "Look, I'm not pregnant or on drugs, and I'm getting good grades. I believe I've earned the right to wear what I want."  
It was then that something unexpected happened. Ms. Shan grabbed her daughter's arm, and her voice suddenly became vindictive and went up a few decibels. "You listen to me, and you listen to me good. The reason I am now able to feed and clothed you as well as I do, is because I realized something early in life. Now I'm going to share some of that wisdom with you..."  
"Can we do this some other time? I'm going to be late..." Phoebe was now genuinely worried.  
Now her mother was really screaming in her face. "To men, looks are everything. Women have a very narrow window of opportunity to take advantage of that fact. You just wait 'til you're over thirty and they start looking less and less. And then when you're over forty, when they stop looking altogether. You'll be sorry you didn't squeeze every last dime you could out of them while you were still young and pretty. Mark my words."  
Phoebe quietly responded, "Uh mom...Instead of following your plan, what if I decide to go to college instead? Maybe if I get a degree in math, I'll be able to teach math at that very same college. Then I won't have to rely on men before or after I'm forty."  
"Getting an education is all well and good, but if you can manage to nab yourself a rich boyfriend, then you'll have someone to pay for that education! And you're never going to get one by dressing like that!"  
Although she was burning inside, Phoebe's voice managed to remain calm. "Please let go of my arm."  
Her mother did so, and Phoebe started to head for the back door, which enraged her mom even more.  
"Aren't you going to go upstairs and change!?" The woman was now in a state of near hysteria.  
Phoebe turned around for one last time. "I'm going to ask a few of my friends if any of their parents might be willing to adopt me. It'll serve the dual purpose of relieving you of a major financial burden, and I'll never have to listen to shit like this again."  
With that, she turned around and exited. Her mother continued yelling at her as she made her way down the walkway and on to the sidewalk, but to Phoebe, she didn't give a damn anymore. She was still pondering whether or not Felix had fallen for the trap she had set by reversing the glasses. Why else would he not try to contact her after she mysteriously disappeared from his house? She would find out soon enough.

9:00 am

Phoebe's first period history class was going about its business as usual, when Principal Raoul entered the room and whispered something in the teacher's ear.  
"Phoebe," Mrs. Jaya called out.  
"Yes?" She was still a little dazed both by the previous evening's excitement, and her mother's tirade.  
"Would you please go with Principal Raoul."  
There was some whispering among the rest of the class. It couldn't possibly be anything too serious. They all knew that Phoebe could be temperamental, but would never do anything to get herself into serious trouble.  
Phoebe got up and did as the teacher said. "So what did I do now?" The Principal ignored her question and remained silent as he escorted her down the hall to his office. Two men were waiting there for her when they arrived. One was wearing a suit, the other a police uniform. They were comforting a woman, who was crying and upset.  
The Principal introduced them to her. "Phoebe, this is Lieutenant Carnahan and Officer Morton of the police's Alamanda branch."  
"W-what can I do for you?" she asked nervously.  
Lieutenant Carnahan spoke, "Miss Shan, we just need to ask a few questions. I understand that you were at the Allan residence in Alveira Heights last evening, correct?"  
"Y-yeah." Phoebe was now slightly trembling. "Is something wrong."  
The Lieutenant introduced the crying woman. "Phoebe, this is Mrs. Wong, one of the family's housekeepers." He took a deep breath. "I don't quite know how to tell you this, but your friend Felix is in the hospital, in a coma right now. Apparently from a combination of liquor and horse tranquilizer. Since you were the last person to see him conscious, we were wondering if..."  
Before he could finish his question, Phoebe turned completely white, and fainted.

11:45 am

During lunch, Rita ran into Sheila in one of the girl's restrooms. She decided to try talk to her in a non-confrontational manner.  
"Hello Sheila. Are you feeling any better?"  
Sheila suddenly whipped around and shouted in her face, "Don't you ever try to pull something like that again!"  
Rita was startled. "Uh, like what?" Of course she already knew exactly what Sheila was talking about, but wanted to get a dialogue going.  
"Asking me to go to the movies with you, when you were really trying' to set me up with Steven!"  
Rita quickly attempted to diffuse her anger. "O.K, guilty as charged, and I apologize. Can we still be friends?"  
"Yeah." Sheila resumed washing her hands.  
"Sheila, can I ask you something personal without you screaming back in my face?"  
Sheila eyed her suspiciously. "I suppose. Does this have anything to do with Steven?"  
"Well, yeah. Ian and I suspect that he's a little lonely, so we've been trying to hook him up with someone. I'd like to know exactly what it is that you don't like about him, so that perhaps we'll have better luck in the future. Is it the glasses?"  
"His looks have nothing to do with it." Sheila took a deep breath and dried her hands. "Steven is no different from any other guy. All he does is staring at my chest."  
This statement hit Rita like a lightning bolt. "He was staring at your chest?"  
"Yeah, and by the way, so was your nerdy boyfriend!"  
That was it. Sheila had managed to reveal the source of her somewhat sour demeanor. A sly, devilish grin was now starting to form on Rita's face.  
"What's so funny?" Sheila now looked seriously annoyed.  
"Um, Sheila..."  
"Yeah?"  
Rita paused before delivering her one-liner. "I'm a girl, and I am staring at your chest."  
Sheila was now quite angry. "How do you think that makes me feel?"  
"To tell you the truth, I think it should make you feel flattered. Goodness knows, it sure makes me feel jealous. Do you have any idea how much money some women are willing to shell out to look like you?"  
Suddenly, the school bell rang. Sheila started to leave, but Rita stopped her.  
"Sheila, before you go, will you just hear me out for a minute?"  
Sheila took a deep breath and folded her arms. "O.K, go ahead."  
"Listen, it's one thing if you simply don't find Steven attractive. For that matter, at our age, it's okay. if you're not interested in boys just yet. But I feel I should tell you that you should be proud to have such a figure."  
"Are you through now?" sighed Sheila.  
"I really hope that at very near future, you make peace with the body that nature gave you. See you in a few minutes in drama."  
With that, the two girls exited the restroom and headed straight for their lockers.

3:03 pm

The three o'clock bell rang and there was the usual stampede for the school's exits. Phoebe just took and left whatever it was she needed from her locker and made her way upstairs navigating through all the foot traffic heading in the other direction. She entered room 201, leaving the door ajar. Ian was using a ruler to draw an uneven right triangle on the chalkboard. Without even looking over his shoulder, he greeted her.  
"Glad you could make it."  
"So what am I doing here, Ian?"  
"Hold on just a second, I'm almost done."  
She sat down at her usual desk in the front row, as he finished his artwork.  
"Here," He handed her his math book. "Would you please read this problem out loud?" Ian pointed to a specific paragraph.  
Still not sure where he was going with this, she complied. "A man drives two miles south, then six miles west, for a total of eight miles. If he were traveling by plane instead of automobile, and thus not restricted by the lay of the pavement, how many miles would he have traveled."  
"Alright, now observe my illustration," Ian was now using his ruler as a pointer. This vertical line is two inches, representing two miles. This horizontal line is six inches, representing six miles. If I take this ruler and draw a diagonal line from the start point to the end point it comes out to..."  
"Wait a minute!" Phoebe interrupted him loudly. "That's not how you determine the calculation of a right triangle you..." She suddenly cut herself off, mid-sentence.  
This was followed by about fifteen seconds of awkward silence as the two of them stared each other directly in the eyes. Finally Ian spoke softly, as his face slowly started to show signs of a smile.  
"Thank you."  
"What are you thanking me for?" there was a slight quiver in Phoebe's voice.  
"You were about to call me a moron as usual, but you cut yourself off. I appreciate that." There was another pause as the two of them gathered their thoughts. "There's a big test coming up this Friday. If I flunk it, my parents have threatened to take me out of this school, and put me in one for retarded kids." There was another pause, as Ian's voice took on a tone of surrender. "You're better at this kind of stuff than anybody I've ever met. Would you please help me?"  
Holding back tears, Phoebe quickly rose from her desk, nearly knocking it over in the process, and grabbed a piece of chalk. "The Pythagorean theorem is not nearly as complicated as this crummy book makes it out to be. Watch me." She proceeded to scribble a lot of letters and numbers and plus signs on the board that all looked Greek to Ian. "The length of the hypotenuse is the square root of the sum of the squares of the two legs. So if the base is 6 inches long and the height is 2 inches..."  
"Phoebe, slow down," pleaded Ian. "You're going faster than Norman, and this stuff doesn't come as easily to me as it does to you."  
Phoebe realized he was correct. "I'm sorry. Let's take it one step at a time."

It was at this moment that Rita wondered down the hall towards room 201, and noticing the door was ajar, took a peek inside, careful not to make any noise. Phoebe now had her hand on Ian's left shoulder as they were both writing on the board. Rita was ecstatic. Her boyfriend and her best friend were not only finally getting along, but actually working together. She quietly closed the door, wiped a joyful tear away, and decided to go watch her softball team-mates play a game. Although she was still under the Doctor's orders not to engage in any strenuous activity involving her arms for at least another few days, she looked forward to cheering them on from the bleachers.

After about fifteen minutes, Ian was finally starting to catch on. "Thank you so much." He picked up the book and turned to another page. "Now here's another thing I'm having trouble with..."  
"Ian, put down the book for a minute." Phoebe interrupted.  
"Sure," he did so.  
Phoebe put down the chalk, turned towards him, put her arms around him and started crying uncontrollably, which completely caught Ian by surprise.  
"What's wrong?"  
She stood back, and they both continued to hold each other by the forearms as she spoke. "The last 24 hours have been the most traumatic of my entire life. Have you ever wondered what it's like to be holding an airline ticket of a plane you just missed, that later crashed?"  
"No, I can't say that I have." Ian wasn't quite sure where she was going with this.  
"You do know about Felix being in the hospital right now, right?"  
Ian nodded affirmatively. "Yeah, I heard about that." He paused. "Look, I'm not the sort of person who revels in other people's misfortune, but I would be lying if I were to say that I was in any way moved by his predicament."  
"Ian, you have no idea how close I came to being in that hospital right now."  
He thought about that for a moment. "Phoebe, does this have something to do with me and my sisters picking you up last night?"  
A hint of a smile now started to show through Phoebe's tears. "Yeah, you and Rita were really big helps last night." She thought for a moment. "But believe it or not, the person who really deserves credit for saving my life is Humphrey Bogart."  
Ian was understandably confused, "Huh?"  
"I'll explain it to you later Ian. Look there are two other things that I need to look you in the face and say. My mom is a whore, and you are a true gentleman...and quite a loveable one at that."  
"Well, I'm certainly sorry to hear about your mom." He now was showing a hint of a smile. "You know Phoebe, Rita told me that you think I'm a wild-eyed sex maniac who's always staring at you and the other girls in Mrs. Pinny's class."  
"Yeah, I suppose I did say that." She was genuinely embarrassed.  
Ian's voice now took on a playfully sarcastic tone. "Well just for the record, I'd like you to know that that is very true, and I hope you won't hold it against me."  
Phoebe nearly fell over laughing. "Alright Ian, let's get back to the geometry. The thought of you getting kicked out of this school is now officially as unacceptable to me as it is to you."

3:15 pm

While Ian was receiving his math tutorial from Phoebe, Rita managed to run into Steven on her way to the baseball diamond.  
"Hey Steven, wait up"  
"Hello."  
"You doing anything right now?"  
"Nope, just going home. Did you have something in mind?"  
"I was just heading to the park to watch my team play. I could use some company."  
"Sure. So where's Ian?"  
"Believe it or not, he's back at the school getting a crash course in algebraic geometry from Phoebe."  
Steven stopped in his tracks. "Say it again?"  
"I'm not kidding. They are actually friends now."  
Steven was in shock. "I never thought I'd live to see...I mean how...?"  
Rita cut him off. "It's kind of a long story, although it happened in a short period of time." The two of them resumed walking. "I take it you've heard about Felix Allan."  
"Oh yeah, it didn't take long for that news to spread around. The details are a bit sketchy though. All I've heard is that Phoebe was supposedly the last person to see him conscious or something."  
"Well, the short version is that she was at his house last night, suspected that he was up to no good, and slipped out the front door when he wasn't looking. Since everyone's folks were at the P.T.A. meeting, she called me in a panic, I knew that Ian had an older sister with a driver's license, so I sent him out there to pick her up and bring her to my house. Surprisingly, she was quite moved by the gesture, and felt that she owed him a favour."  
"Do you think she's going to continue to not treat him like vermin after she's finished performing that favour?"  
"Yup, I've got a pretty good feeling about that."  
The two of them rounded the corner, and the park was in eyesight.  
"Do you mind if I ask why Phoebe was at Felix's house in the first place?"  
Rita thought for a moment. "You know, I'm sure she's spent the better part of today asking herself that very same question. If I may change the subject, I had a pretty interesting exchange with Sheila in the girl's bathroom today."  
"Really? Was it about me?"  
"Uh yeah."  
Suddenly a voice carried over from the baseball diamond, "Hey look, it's Rita!" As the two of them approached, all her teammates ran to greet her. There were lots of hugs.  
Rita spoke up. "Hello gang. My doctor says I've got to wait another week before I engage in this sort of activity, so me and my friend Steven over here have just come to cheer you on."  
"We'll try not to disappoint you" at least three of the girls said in unison.  
The opposing team was already in the outfield throwing a ball back and forth, as Rita and Steven settled down in the bleachers among a handful of other spectators.  
"So," Steven resumed the conversation. "Did Sheila give you any indication of why it is she's so repulsed by me...I mean, other than the obvious fact that I'm a funny looking nerd with thick glasses?"  
Rita shook her head and smiled. "I swear Steven, when it comes to self esteem, you are even worse than Ian. You'll be pleased to know that your looks have nothing whatsoever to do with it. Apparently the source of her discontent lies in the fact that you happen to be a normal guy."  
He gave her an inquisitive look. "What does she want?"  
"It's hard to explain right out."  
"Huh?" Steven was completely in the dark.  
Suddenly a voice came out of nowhere. "I'll take it from here, Rita."  
The two of them spun around as Sheila emerged from under the bleachers and took a seat next to them.  
"Hey, did you follow us here?" Rita was caught completely off guard.  
"No, my home is in this direction. I just saw the two of you, so I decided to come over and say hello."  
"How long have you been standing there?"  
"Just long enough to notice the direction the conversation was heading in. You know, I've been thinking about what you said earlier today. Would it be O.K. if I had a few words with Steven alone?"  
With a big smile on her face, Rita stood up. "You bet!" She moved over to the other end of the bleachers, and focused on the game. While they had been talking, two players managed to get hits, and there were now runners on first and second base.  
Sheila spoke in a repentant tone. "Steven, I'm really sorry for blowing you off a few weeks ago at the fairgrounds." She paused. "And yesterday, as well."  
"That's alright. Um...for the record, I want to let you know that a couple of days ago, Ian just asked me if I'd like to go with him and some friends to the mall to see a movie. It wasn't until I actually got to the mall that he revealed to me that the friends he was talking about meant just Rita and you."  
"That's exactly how Rita roped me into it. What do you suppose might've inspired them to do that?"  
"Strangely enough, I do know the answer to that." Steven took a deep breath. "About two weeks ago, Ian was over at my house. We were working on a homework assignment. To make a long story short, the conversation eventually turned to the subject of girls, as it usually does when guys get together. He started talking about how pretty Rita is, and I mentioned your name...and I also told him that unfortunately, you didn't seem to like me. Well, here it is two weeks later, and I guess that Ian was kind of feeling bad that he and Rita were now an item, and that you and I weren't."  
The two of them glanced over at Rita, who was now jumping up and down and cheering because the player who had been on second base had just made it past home plate.  
"Steven, Rita was about to explain something to you, and I'd rather you hear it from me," said Sheila.  
"Go ahead."  
"Have you ever seen Rita and Betty working out on the uneven parallel bars?"  
"Yeah, I've caught a couple of glimpses of them. Pretty amazing." Steven shook his head. "That's the kind of coordination and agility that one simply has to be born with. Good coaching can go just so far. The raw material has to be there in the first place. Obviously I wasn't born with it." He looked back at her. "How 'bout you?"  
"I'll never really know for sure, and I'm glad you asked that. It's the crux of my discontent."  
"I'm all ears." Steven leaned forward.  
Sheila also leaned forward. "I tried signing up for the school's gymnastics program this semester. It looked like it might be fun. The coach took one look at me, pulled me aside and said in no uncertain terms, that I really should be trying out some other type of sporting activity, like soccer or tennis or something. He said that even if I were to lose about twenty pounds, I still wouldn't have the body type that lends itself well to anything that happens in a gymnasium." Sheila looked down. "Needless to say, I was a bit crushed, but at the same time, I knew he was right. I'm way too short, too buxom, and just plain too endomorphic to be allowed within fifteen yards of a balance beam. Let's face it, to do that kind of stuff, you've got to have a natural build like that." she nodded towards Rita. "Ever since that day, I've been a bit overly self-conscious about my body. Every time a guy looks at me, I just naturally assume that he's only looking at my boobs."  
Steven was now smiling. "Well, thank you for sharing that. Now there are a couple of things I think you should know."  
"Go ahead."  
"Sheila, I've always thought you were cute. Even as far back as the 5th grade, and needless to say, that was before you had any boobs. I've always liked your big brown eyes."  
"Really?" Sheila's face lit up. "This is news to me. How come you've never said anything up until a couple of weeks ago?"  
"You have no idea how much courage I had to muster just to speak to you that once. I've never thought of myself as being much to look at, and when it comes to initiating a conversation, I'm a complete loser."  
"Hey, let's get something straight. I'm the one who was a complete jerk that day, and not you."  
There was a ten second pause, before Steven spoke. "So I guess this means we're friends, huh?"  
She coyly winked, and took his hand in hers. "You know, I might even be willing to have a go at being a little more than just friends."  
Steven could feel his heart start to pound. "Sheila, there's one last thing..."  
"What's that?"  
"You know, your paranoia about guys always staring at your chest isn't entirely unfounded. I hope you're not going to slap me or anything if my eyes occasionally drift downward while I'm talking to you.."  
"It's okay, I'm over it." She smiled broadly, and leaned on his shoulder. "I can't go through life moping about the body I was born with. Especially considering it's a healthy one."  
The conversation was suddenly interrupted by the sound of a bat connecting with a ball. A huge fly that resulted in Rita jumping up and hollering "YES!" Her enthusiasm was soon quelled when it was easily caught by the opposing team's center fielder.  
"Hey Rita!" Steven yelled out.  
"Yeah?"  
Steven motioned her over, and she sat back down next to the two of them.  
"Congratulations, you've got Phoebe getting along with Ian and Sheila getting along with me. Might there be any other magic tricks in your repertoire?"  
"Mmmm, could be" was all she answered.  
The three of them stayed until the last inning. Rita's team lost, but everyone still left in good spirits.

7:07 pm

Ian and Freddy went on to the Hasting schoolyard grounds like they had planned. Freddy switched on the floodlights, illuminating the now completed half-pipe. It was both spectacular and intimidating. Just lugging their bikes up to the top was a feat in itself. Fancying himself an experienced daredevil, Freddy wasted no time in testing out the new apparatus.  
Ian just sat there on his bike, watching in both awe and horror as his friend delved into the pipe, shooting up into the air on the other side, executing two tail-whips before returning safely back to the starting platform.  
"Whoa, those guys who built this thing really have their act together." His heart still racing, Freddy looked over at his friend who was now staring down into the abyss. "So what do you think?"  
Ian sighed, "I'm just contemplating whether or not I'm going to hate myself more tomorrow morning if I try this or if I don't try it."  
"You don't have to do anything fancy," his friend encouraged. "Just make it over to the other side and park."  
"That's easy for you to say. I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not quite as coordinated as you," Ian muttered sarcastically.  
There was a twenty second pause before Freddy spoke up again, changing the subject slightly. "You know, I've seen Sonia actually do a full vertical 360 degree, land backward, whip around and pedalled right back up to the top of one of these things as if it was his second nature." He paused once again and looked down. "I hate it when she does that."  
Ian concurred, "Yeah, that sounds awful dangerous."  
"It is, but that's not the main reason I wish she wouldn't do it."  
Although Ian already had surmised what his friend was getting at, he decided to ask him anyway, "So what is the reason?"  
Freddy looked him right in the eye. "Because I can't do that. Shuck, it's downright humiliating."  
Ian could only smile at the youth's candor. "Your girlfriend does one trick that you can't, and you think you've got issues? Hell, mine does everything better than me. Math, science, baseball, jogging, you name it."  
"Ian, By any chance, is your mother an old school feminist?" Freddy took a swig from a small plastic thermos.  
"Oh yeah. Both of my folks are what you'd call stereotypical baby boom social liberals."  
"Same here. My mom has given me a lot of lectures about how girls are just as good as guys at everything...and sometimes better." Freddy Paused "And not to let that fact bother me."  
Realizing just how much the two of them were on the same page, Ian decided to let his guard down a little as well. "Yeah, not letting it bother me is important." he concurred. "And if I do say so myself, whenever I'm around Rita, I think I do a pretty darn good job of pretending it doesn't." Both boys were now giving each other knowing grins.  
Freddy nodded towards the other side of the pipe, "So are you going to take the plunge, or not?"  
Ian didn't even stop to think. "For sure!" With that, he and his bike lunged over the edge. Upon reaching the other side, it slid out from under him, heading up the incline by itself, leaving him lying on the bottom. He barely had time to roll over to avoid it landing on him.  
Freddy cringed as the bike hit the pipe with a thud. Teaching his friend how to navigate this thing was obviously going to be a bit trickier than it was teaching him a few flatland skills.  
Suddenly, a familiar voice emerged from the side of the apparatus. "What the hell are you two clowns doing?" It was Polo.  
Oh great, Ian thought to himself. Now in addition to looking and feeling like an idiot, he was probably in trouble.  
Freddy immediately spoke up, "The same thing you obviously came here to do. Sampling the equipment before it officially opens."  
"At least that's what he's doing," claimed Ian. "I'm just lying here looking up at the stars."  
Polo looked at Freddy and pointed at Ian. "Freddy, are you trying' to get this poor guy killed?"  
"What a stupid question. You know as well as I do that he's completely indestructible."  
"Look, just shoving him over the top like that is not the way you teach a novice how to negotiate a large pipe." Polo was now helping Ian up. "First you've got to start him off from the bottom, pedaling mid-way up the side, to get him used to the feel of the curve."  
"Alright Mr. expert, you coach him." Freddy knew that Polo had no authority over him when it wasn't school hours, even if it was on the campus.  
Since Ian was once again attending all of his classes in school, it would have to be during clandestine gatherings like this that he would be learning some biking skills over the next couple of evenings. The main trick would be to keep it a secret from his parents, who just assumed he was over at Rita's, and from Rita, who just figured he was at home, studying.

 | 3:34 pm

Rita found exactly what she was looking for. Mr. Adam the drama teacher, had given her $30.00 to spend on a specific type of hat that was needed for the school play. Conveniently enough, there was a novelty shop at the mall that specialized in that sort of thing on the 3rd floor, and she managed to find one for nearly half that price. After making the purchase, she headed towards the escalator, which meant passing by the multiplex.  
It was at this moment that yet another bizarre coincidence was about to take place. Just as she was walking by the theatre, a person with an all too familiar face was storming out of the lobby, and accidentally bumped into her. It was Becker, and half of his face was covered in blood. His right eye was swollen, and it looked like he was crying as well.  
For about five incredibly long awkward seconds the two of them just stopped in their tracks, not knowing what to say or do. Finally, Rita managed to compose herself, and blurted out, "What the hell happened to you?"  
"Nothing...Move." Becker shoved her aside and made a dash towards the elevator. His face looking like it did, the mall patrons wasted no time in getting out of his way while he was running.  
Rita pursued. "Becker, wait!"  
The doors opened as Becker arrived. The elevator was empty and he ran in. Rita dashed in after him but he pushed her out. The elevator doors closed, and he collapsed down in the corner, hyperventilating. By this time, the blood was starting to drip all over his shirt, and the floor. He hoped that she would just give up and not rush down the stairway or the escalator after him. He'd already had enough humiliation for one afternoon.  
In fact, Rita did try running down the stairs few steps at a time, but to no avail. The elevator went down into the underground parking lot, which was two levels deep. He managed to lose her. In a panic, Rita grabbed her cell phone and called Ian and then Phoebe, telling them both to meet her at her house in half an hour. She must've broken every land speed record, running home.

4:02 pm

Phoebe and Ian arrived at the house simultaneously, she on foot and he on his bike. Rita saw them arrived through the window. They were about to knock on the door when it suddenly swung open and Rita grabbed them both by their arms and practically threw them down on the couch.  
"Something really bizarre just happened at the mall," She couldn't stop pacing back and forth as she spoke.  
"Calm down Rita," Phoebe had never seen her this agitated. "Start from the beginning."  
"Mr. Adam had given me some money to buy a hat for the school play, so I went and got one at that nick-knack shop on the third floor near the multiplex. I left the place and was walking towards the escalator, when I ran into Becker."  
"Lucky you," Ian grumbled sarcastically.  
"Ian, this is serious. He was coming out of the theatre with a big gash on the side of his face that was bleeding profusely. His eye was all swollen, and he was hyperventilating. I asked him what happened, but he just shoved me aside and ran into the elevator." Rita was now starting to cry. "I tried following him in, but he pushed me out. He looked completely dazed. I tried the stairway, but he lost me in the parking garage..."  
"Slow down," Phoebe stood up and put her arm around her friend. "So what you're saying is that wound on his face looked fresh enough that it probably happened just before he ran into you."  
"Yes! That's what doesn't make any sense! How could somebody possibly get messed up like that inside a movie theatre!?"  
"Calm down," Phoebe hugged her tight. "We'll get to the bottom of this. First things first. Do you have a phone book?"  
Rita started to settle down a little. "There's one under the lamp over there."  
Phoebe scooped up the phone book, and started flipping through the pages. "The first thing we're going to do is call his house and find out if he's there." It was now her turns to be the cool, calm and collected one. "There are three people named Arthur in here. We just have to figure out which one is Becker's house."  
Ian, who had been sitting very quietly up until now, spoke in a barely audible monotone. "It's the one with the address on Trivia street."  
"What was that?" asked Phoebe.  
Ian spoke louder, but with the same dour inflection in his voice, "I said, it's the one with the Trivia street address. I know where he lives."  
"Do I detect a tone of anger in your voice?" asked Phoebe.  
"As a matter of fact, yes you do," Ian was now speaking loud and clear. "Need I remind both of you that for over a year now, this guy has not only used me as a punching bag, but has convinced other guys to help him out...And I had never done a single thing to him." He looked at Rita. "One day, you see him in a mall with a bloody nose, and all that history is instantly tossed aside? I'm supposed to just suddenly turn on a dime and say 'Poor Becker'?" He turned and looked off in the other direction. "My guess is that the guy probably just started blurting his mouth off at someone who wasn't me, and this time, deservedly got his ass kicked." He paused. "So you'll forgive me if I don't quite share the same amount of concern for his...welfare as you two do at the moment."  
Phoebe remained calm. "Ian, need I remind you that it only took a single day for you to forgive me for abusing you for over a year."  
Ian looked over at her once more, "At least your abuse was only verbal. His was also physical. I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a part of me that isn't glad that he's finally gotten a taste of what it's like to be Ian."  
The corners of Rita's mouth finally started to turn slightly upwards. "You know, you're sexy when you speak of yourself in the 3rd person."  
Ian couldn't help but grin back at her, "Will you two get this over with."  
Phoebe punched in the number, then held the phone so that both she and Rita could hear. There was a "Hello" on the other end after two rings. "Hi, is Becker home?"  
"Who is this?" asked the voice on the phone.  
"Just some friends from school."  
"He's here, but he's not taking any calls right now."  
"Well can you at least tell us if he's alright?"  
The voice on the phone now sounded agitated. "Look, you can talk to him on Monday, when he's back in school, alright? Goodbye" Click.  
Phoebe turned to Rita, "Well, at least we know he made it home and isn't wandering around in a daze somewhere."  
Rita turned and picked up a DVD that was on top of the television. "There's something that's been gnawing at me that I'd like to show you two."  
"Oh no," Phoebe whimpered, and looked over at Ian. "Now she's going to make us sit and watch another crummy old film."  
"No I'm not," Rita popped it into the DVD player. "Just a couple of minutes of it that I think are pertinent to the situation."  
The TV screen announced "The Bells Of St. Mary's." Rita grabbed the remote control and switched to chapter six. The scene opened with a boy tripping another boy in a schoolyard, then proceeding to pound the stuffing out of him. Finally, the priest played by Bing Crosby enters the frame, lifts the arm of the boy who started the fight in the air, and proudly declares, "The Winner."  
Rita picked up the remote once again. "Now watch this" She fast-forwarded to yet another chapter where a nun, played by Ingrid Bergman is teaching the kid who got pulverized how to fight back.  
Phoebe spoke up, "Rita, this is all very interesting, but what exactly are you getting at?"  
Rita turned to Ian, "I think that monologue you did in the classroom a couple of weeks ago was right on the dot. Becker is always beating you up because that's what he was taught to do in that elementary school he went to. And I wouldn't be a bit surprised if he were also getting the crap kicked out of him at home as well."

"Listen Phoebe, I think you should pay him a visit tomorrow afternoon. I know that he has to have a lesson tape brought to him every day like I did when I was stuck at home. Perhaps Principal Raoul will allow you to deliver it. It'll give you a good excuse." Said Rita.  
"Why me?" Protested Phoebe. "And what for?"  
"Well, obviously he isn't going to open the door if he looks out the window and sees me or Ian. I just want to get to the bottom of what happened an hour ago."  
Phoebe looked over at Ian. "So what's it like having Florence Nightingale for a girlfriend?"  
Rita was indignant, "Will you two please quit talking about me as if I weren't standing right in front of you?" She was obviously taking this a lot more seriously than her two friends.  
"Sorry Angel," smiled Ian, who then turned to Phoebe. "At least he lives relatively close by. If he tries anything, I won't have to recruit my sister for another rescue mission."  
"Phoebe, I've got an idea. Why don't you take Betty with you?" Rita suggested. "There's safety in numbers."  
Ian started to chuckle.  
"What's so funny?"  
"It just occurred to me that the very last conversation I had with Becker before he got expelled had something to do with her and Betty." He turned to Phoebe. "I've got a sneaking suspicion he's going to be pretty happy when the two of you show up at his doorstep tomorrow."

---

3:22 pm

"Why in the world are we doing this?" Asked Betty. She and Phoebe were both walking towards Becker's house with VHS in hand.  
Phoebe sighed. "I guess to make sure that Becker isn't in any imminent danger from his family. Rita's got it in her head that he's being abused."  
"So she saw him at the mall with a big bruise on his face, and suspects he's having trouble at home." Betty thought about it for a second. "Well, that's fair enough, though I'm still in a blur."  
They carried on with their usual conversation.  
Both girls laughed at Betty's impersonation of Ian as they arrived at the address they were looking for. It was an impressive two story dwelling. There was a porch partially covered in ivy with a traditional looking wooden swing. Not exactly the sort of residence one would expect someone with a disposition like Becker's to live in. They knocked on the door, not knowing quite what to expect. A guy who looked like a slightly older version of Becker, presumably his brother, answered.  
"What can I do for you ladies?"  
"We're here to give this to Becker," Phoebe answered, handing him the VHS.  
"Thanks, I'll give it to him," answered Becker's brother. "You know, over the past three days, the guy who usually brings this has just been leaving it in the mailbox."  
"We were kind of wondering if we could maybe say hello to him," Betty piped up.  
"Hang on."  
He disappeared into the house, and about a half a minute later, Becker appeared at the door. There was a huge bandage covering the right half of his forehead that stretched over his temple and onto his cheek.  
"Hello Becker," the two girls blurted out simultaneously.  
"Uh...Hi," Becker was understandably surprised to see the two of them. "Did you two volunteer to deliver this to me?"  
"Yeah," answered Phoebe. "We were just wondering how you were doing'."  
It didn't take long for him to mentally piece together the fact that Rita had her hand into it.  
"I'm O.K.," he stuttered. "Just trying to calm down."  
There was about ten seconds of awkward silence as they just stood there and looked at each other. It didn't look like he was about to volunteer any more specific information about what happened to his face.  
"Well we're glad to hear that," Said Phoebe. "Actually, I can see how it might even be kind of fun getting' a break from people like us for awhile." She gave him a playful hit on the arm. "I guess we'll be seeing you...um...whenever."  
With that, the two girls turned and started to leave. They got about half-way across the lawn before Becker called to them.  
"Uh, girls wait..."  
They both turned around. "Yes?"  
"Can we talk a little?"  
The two girls looked at each other, then back at Becker. "Sure." The three of them sat down on the porch swing.  
"So what's on your mind?" Phoebe inquired.  
Becker looked downward. It was strange seeing him not strutting around like the alpha male he usually aspired to be. As a matter of fact, he seemed downright nervous.  
"Do you two promise not to repeat any of this conversation anywhere else?"  
The girls looked at each other, then Betty Spoke up.  
"Becker, we are law-abiding Samaritans. If the story behind that thing on your face involves another person and isn't accidental, we are going to report something to someone, even if you won't."  
He looked up and rolled his eyes, "I guess I might as well get this out of the way. This is no accident." He pointed at the bandage. "But it's also nobody's fault but my own."  
"So what exactly did you do to yourself?"  
"I was watching a movie at the mall. This guy with a big hat sits down in front of me. I asked him to take it off. He gave me the finger. The situation rapidly escalated." Becker looked down. "To cut a long story short, the guy was a lot bigger than me, and this is the result."  
"Why were you seeing a movie alone, anyway?" asked Betty.  
"Obviously because everybody I know was in school when it started. Why do you think you're delivering that tape to me? You are aware of the fact that I was expelled last Monday, aren't you?"  
"Oh yeah, we know about the whole mess," responded Phoebe. "Getting back to the story, when that guy sat down in front of you, why didn't you just get up and find another seat?"  
Becker sighed, and looked away. "I'm not even sure of why I did what I did. Haven't you ever done anything stupid for no reason that you regretted later?"  
This coaxed a smile out of Phoebe, "You have no idea."  
"Oh yes I do," Becker countered. "I may not have been in school over the last couple of days, but I've gotten crapload of E-Mail from people telling me about you and Felix."  
"Listen Becker, there's something I've got to ask you," Phoebe leaned forward. "Do you remember how angry you and I were a couple of weeks ago after Ian insulted your religion and my mother in Sociology?"  
"I wasn't angry at him for insulting my religion," he clarified. "I was just mad at him for making me an involuntary part of his crummy stand-up routine."  
"The point is this...The real reason I was pissed was because deep down inside, I knew that what he said was true. My mom is a total failure. Now let me ask you...was what he said about your old school true?"  
He thought about it for a moment. "To tell you the truth, I can't even remember what he said about it."  
"Phoebe, let me take over," Betty interjected, and attempted to cut to the chase. "Becker, we don't really know a whole lot about what goes on in private Catholic institutions, but like most people, we hear a lot of weird stories about sadistic nuns and perverted priests. Rita seems to feel that your bullying tendencies are a direct result of your elementary school education...Personally, I think it's a bit of a reach..."  
Once again Becker rolled his eyes. "Well, you can tell her that it's not as simple as all that. From what I've been told, that's how it was a few years ago, but things have changed. Ever since all those priests were arrested, they've been on the defensive, and know that the FBI is watching them very carefully. They were probably a bunch of fags, but they were fairly benign ones. My main complaint about the place was that it's an all boys school, and as a result, I never really learned how to talk to girls."  
Phoebe suddenly felt enlightened. "So that's why you like beating other guys up."  
"Huh?" Becker was confused.  
"You think that that's what impresses girls." She was now gazing at him intensely. "Well I've got news...that actually does work on a certain type of girl...Specifically, the kind that I thought I was, only a week ago...Before Rita talked some sense into me. You know, I think all of us at one time or another need someone to sit us down, and knock some sense into us."  
Becker looked confused. "And I suppose you two now think you're going to knock some sense into me?"  
Phoebe and Betty grinned at each other, "Actually, that doesn't appear to be necessary. we get the impression that that goon in the theatre with the big hat already did that for us."  
"Listen, there's something that I've to say..." A tear was now starting to roll down Becker's cheek.  
Phoebe could barely believe it. She laid a hand on his shoulder. "Go ahead."  
"You have no idea how amazed I am that you two actually cared enough to check up on me like this. Goodness knows I sure don't deserve it."  
Phoebe put her arm around his shoulder. "Well you should be thanking Rita Hammond. You really scared the crap out of her yesterday. She was convinced that you were receiving regular savage beatings from someone in your family."  
"I'm even more amazed that Rita would have given a shit about me."  
"Which reminds me," Betty spoke up. "Becker, I think there are some other matters that need to be addressed here."  
"Such as?"  
"Well, among other things, the issue of exactly why you got expelled."  
"What's to discuss?" Becker shrugged. "I got expelled for being a jerk."  
Phoebe picked up where Betty left off. "No Becker, it's a little more specific than that." She looked him straight in the eye. "Let's face it, last Monday when Ian and Rita walked into Mrs. Pinny's class arm in arm, we both went completely psycho."  
Thinking about this, he shook his head. "Can you blame us? It was like suddenly finding yourself in the middle of the most farfetched twilight zone episode ever conceived."  
"Well guess, what. We weren't hallucinating. Not only are those two a genuine item, but over the last few days, just about everyone in school has gotten used to the idea." Phoebe reached over, and grasped his hand. "Including me. As a matter of fact, it turns out that Ian's a great guy...And he's not stupid either."  
"I'll say he's not," added Betty. "He's got the prettiest girl in the school, and nobody knows how he did it...Except Trish. She seems to know everything."  
"What do you mean 'the prettiest girl in the school?' Becker mused. "Don't sell yourselves short like that."  
Phoebe ignored his flattery. "Becker, are you familiar with the private school over on 15th street?"  
"I think I know what you're talking about...the Hasting Academy, right?"  
"Ian is going to be doing something there tomorrow at 10:00...I'm not sure what, but he wants everyone to be there. You want to come with us?"  
"I seriously doubt that I'm part of that 'every one' of which you speak."  
"You're probably right," suggested Betty. "But you should tag along anyway. It'll finally give you a chance to regain some dignity."  
"I don't follow. I've spent the last year kicking the crap out of the guy. Now he's got a gorgeous girlfriend, and all I've got is a grotesquely swollen right eye."  
Betty took his other hand. "Yeah. So imagine the look on his face when you show up with not one, but two hot chicks on your arm?"  
The three of them smiled and stood up. Becker walked with them across the lawn.  
Phoebe let go of his hand. "I'll bet you anything that Ian will instantly forgive you for every time you've slammed his head into a locker, once he sees that you've been sufficiently humbled. He's just that sort of guy."  
"I'll see you girls tomorrow."  
Betty had a final question. "Becker, I just remembered...there's one last thing I wanted to ask you about."  
"Yeah?"  
"Rita and Ian told me that you mentioned my name while you were jogging with them in phys-ed last Monday...But they wouldn't tell me what exactly it was that you said. Would you like to shed a little light on that?"  
"Um, I can't remember what I said," he lied. "I guess it couldn't have been all that important."

9:05 am

As Rita was getting dressed, her phone rang. It was Trish.  
"Hello dear, what's up?"  
"Just calling to remind you to be at the Hasting Academy over on 15th street in an hour."  
"I'm getting dressed as we speak." She pulled up her pants while holding the phone with her shoulder and her cheek. "You know, you always seem to know stuff before everyone else does. By any chance, do you have any idea what this could possibly be about?"  
"Well, he's deliberately not being specific about anything. All I could manage to get out of him is that it has something or other to do with his bike." Trish suddenly remembered Ian's admonishment. "Please don't tell him I told you that, though. I'm sure he wants you to be completely surprised."  
Rita thought about this for about fifteen seconds, and then put two and two together. On numerous occasions over the last couple of months, she had passed the Hasting school while riding in the back seat of the family car. Occasionally, there would be a bunch of kids on bikes and skateboards messing around on crudely made ramps in the school's yard area. So this was the activity that Ian had been busying himself with last week that accounted for the wide time lapse in between picking up the videos, and arriving at her house with them. Up until now, it never occurred to her that he might've actually been using the pegs on his bike for what they were meant for, and not just giving her rides.  
"Uh, Rita, are you still there?" Asked Trish.  
"Yeah...I'm sorry. Look Trish, I'll see you in an hour. There's something I've got to do real fast."  
"Alright. Bye."  
"Bye."  
Rita could barely contain her excitement. She also had a secret that she had never told Ian, or for that matter, anybody else at Alamanda middle school. Back at Harrison, her old school, she had actually won ribbons for her skills as a BMX flatlander. She quickly abandoned her plans to put on something nice, and instead, threw on one of Ian's shirts, a pair of torn jeans, and some knee pads. She ran out to the garage, and got out her bike, which she hadn't ridden since the summer. Her reasons for abandoning it were twofold. She didn't really need it, because her new house was within easy walking distance of her new school. Also, gymnastics and softball had both replaced it has her principal athletic focus this year. The thought of having yet something else in common with Ian was making her heart pound. Now the two of them would have something they could do together outdoors.  
She grabbed the helmet that was draped over the handlebars and put it on. The instant she got on her bike, all her old skills came back to her as if she had never stopped doing them. This was going to be a great morning. She pedaled out towards 15th Street with her spirits soaring.

9:45 AM

Meanwhile, Steven and Trish had arrived at the schoolyard. There were now bleachers set up on either side of the half-pipe, and they were sitting in the top row. There were lots of other people scattered throughout the six rows of seats, presumably friends and family of the kids riding the bikes and skateboards. Trish and Steven looked at the ramp, and then at each other in a disbelieving manner.  
"Is Ian actually going to ride his bike down and up that thing?" Trish was understandably somewhat skeptical of his abilities at anything that might require a lot of physical coordination.  
"Apparently." Steven was equally dubious. "Then again, he might just be doing something over there with those guys" He pointed towards another section of the yard, where a group of flatlanders were going through the motions. "Even that would be impressive. I've seen him fall on his face numerous times, just trying to pop a wheelie."  
"Hello fellow spectators," Sheila's voice came from the side of the bleachers. She sat down next to Steven, taking his arm in hers.  
"Hello dearie," Steven kissed her on the cheek.  
Trish was impressed. She never even considered the possibility that owlish Steven might actually have a girlfriend, let alone a pretty one. Sheila was now wearing a somewhat low-cut shirt, and seemed to be completely comfortable dressed that way.  
"Believe it or not, it looks like our dear foolish friend Ian is about to try his hand at extreme sports," Steven informed her.  
"Well, I wouldn't worry too much about it," Sheila countered. "No matter how hard or often that guy gets beaten up or falls off that bike, he always seems to emerge with very little damage."  
"Howdy all," Betty's familiar voice alerted everyone to three arrivals climbing up the bleacher steps. By this time, everyone knew that Phoebe and Ian had become good friends, but seeing Becker came as a shock, even to Trish. It seems that within a week, Ian went from being completely friendless to completely enemy less.  
"What on earth happened to you?" Steven asked, eyeing Becker's bandaged face.  
"Uh, I had a little accident."  
Phoebe, Becker and Betty all took a seat in the next row down, just in time to see four figures carrying their bikes up to the half-pipe's platform. One of them was wearing a familiar long-sleeved striped shirt.  
"Holy shit!" Exclaimed Phoebe. "What the hell has he gotten himself into?"  
"My thoughts exactly," Trish concurred.  
It was then that Steven looked over his shoulder and spotted Rita gliding down the street while actually standing on her bike's handlebars.  
"Excuse me, I'll be right back." Steven jumped down off the bleachers and intercepted Rita.  
"Hello, Steven."  
"Rita, what're you doing?"  
"What does it look like I'm doing? The rumour got around that Ian is secretly a BMX wiz. I can't wait to see the look on his face when he finds out that I'm one too."  
"I don't think that it's necessarily going to be a look of elation."  
"What're you talking about?"  
"Ian really wanted to surprise you with this," He sighed. "And he was also looking forward to teaching you how to do this stuff."  
"Well, I'll save him the trouble..."  
"Come on Rita!" Steven cut her off. "Have a little respect for the male ego." For once will you at least allow him to think that he might actually be better than you at something?"  
Rita took off her helmet, and proceeded to lock her bike under the bleachers. "Look Steven. Obviously I'm not going to be able to keep this a secret, but I'll let him have his moment in the sun. Who knows? Maybe he's actually better than me at this, and really will be able to teach me something."  
"I seriously doubt that." Steven shook his head.  
The two of them climbed into the top row of the bleachers with Steven resuming his seat next to Sheila. Rita sat down in between Sheila and Trish. It was then that she suddenly noticed the giant vert ramp that had been erected specifically for this occasion, and nearly had a coronary.  
"My God, what the hell is that!?" She was horrified. Everyone else was a bit surprised by her sudden outburst.  
"Um, I believe that in surfing vernacular, that is what is known as a 'big- half-pipe'," answered Steven.  
It was at this moment that she and Steven noticed four helmeted figures with bikes at the top of one side of the half-pipe. The one that was wearing a striped rugby shirt waved to them.  
Rita started to panic. "There's no way I'm letting him go through this just to impress me. He can barely hit a baseball, and he's going to get himself killed!" She started to get up, but Trish and Sheila both grabbed each arm, and yanked her back down in her seat.  
Trish gave her a stern look, "Sometimes, a man's got to do what a man's got to do."  
Sheila chimed in, "You're his chick, not his mother. Sit down and behave yourself."

Meanwhile, the conversation taking place between the bikers on the platform also had some trepidation.   
"Is that your girlfriend over there?" Freddy noticed Ian waving to Rita.  
"Yeah. Up until now, she didn't know anything about this," Ian replied.  
Freddy was amused by the panicked look on Rita's face. "If you don't mind my saying so, she doesn't appear to be too happy about it either."  
"Yeah, She worries a lot about me."  
"She's pretty too. You sure you want to risk giving her a heart attack?"  
"I'm just returning the favor," Ian mused. "She's a gymnast, and she's already gotten seriously hurt once. When she gets back on that balance beam in a couple of weeks, I'm going to be a lot more nervous than she is right now."  
"Well, you had about a fifty percent success rate doing this yesterday. I think you'll pull it off. I'm going first, then Sonia, and then you. Just relax and have fun." With that, Freddy plunged over the side. Although he just did three simple 360s, he got a smattering of applause from the audience, who were obviously impressed with the height he managed to get, working in such a limited amount of space.  
Sonia was next. She completely blew the audience away with the front flip that Freddy was talking about.  
Ian wasn't expecting much of an ovation for what he was about to attempt. Just three simple tail taps, but for the time being, it was the only realistic move for him to perform. Anything else would take a lot more than a few days to master. As soon as Sonia finished, he dropped down into the ramp, made it to one side, did a simple tap and turn around, then one more on the trip back, and then something happened on the third swoop. He somehow had gotten a little more momentum than he had planned, and wound up airborne on the other side. He instinctively whipped the bike around, and managed to connect the wheels back with the pipe, returning safely to the other side, where Freddy and Sonia were waiting to give him a pat on the back. Polo flew over the side next, did his thing, and the four of them got off and made room for the next set of bikers, who were all warming up in the flat area.  
Ian took off his helmet just in time to receive a big hug and kiss from his very relieved girlfriend. "So what do you think? Do I have a future in this?"  
"Maybe we both do. Do you think you can show me how to do that?"  
"Well, at this point, I barely know how to do it myself."  
Suddenly, a familiar voice came from behind her. "Rita Hammond?"  
Rita turned around just in time to see Sonia remove her helmet. "Sonia!" The two of them hugged.  
Sonia was delighted to run into her old BMX buddy from Harrison middle school. "I almost didn't recognize you."  
"Yeah, I grew a few curves over the summer and learned how to put on make-up. You're looking good too," observed Rita.  
"So are you still blowing everyone away with your biking skills at Harrison?"  
"No, I'm at Alamanda now. They don't have phys-ed programs involving bikes or skateboards there, so I got into gymnastics instead. So how did you wind up here?"  
"My mom and dad were worried about all the drugs and violence going on at Harrison, so they put me here instead."  
"You're lucky they can afford this,"  
"As you've noticed, I've been learning some vert moves over the last couple of months. That's something neither of us would ever have learned back at Harrison." Sonia looked over at Ian, who was just standing there, taking it all in. He would never have guessed that Rita and Sonia were old friends. She looked back at Rita. "So how come your boyfriend is getting biking lessons from us, and not you?"  
Rita didn't know what to say. "Umm...."  
Ian finally broke his silence. "Sonia, believe it or not, this is the first I've ever heard about her previous life as a BMXer."  
Rita added, "And today is the first I've ever heard about his current life as one."  
Just then, Freddy walked up to the three of them, "Hey, what's going on?"  
Sonia quickly introduced them, "Rita, this is my boyfriend Freddy. Freddy, this is Ian's girlfriend Rita, who is also an old friend of mine...and one awesome flatlander."  
"Hey, you got yourself a cute one there Sonia." observed Rita. "So do you still have the same number and E-Mail?"  
"I sure do. The four of us ought to get together sometime and do something."  
"How about right now?" Suggested Rita. "I've got my bike here."  
"You do?" Ian was astonished. "How did you...?"  
"Trish, of course."  
"I should've guessed."  
"Well, why don't you grab it and meet us over in the flatland area," suggested Sonia. "And hey, congratulations."  
Rita was puzzled. "Congratulations for what?"  
"On getting' yourself a chap like this," Sonia gave Ian a playful slap on the butt, and he collapsed down on the lowest row of the bleachers, as she and Freddy started walking away with their bikes.   
"Listen Ian," Rita sat down next to him and began talking fast. "Steven just told me that you were looking forward to teaching me how to do this. You know what? I actually am going to need you to teach me how to do what you just did. I've never dropped into a half-pipe before. Back at Harrison, there was no half-pipe. I'm strictly a flatlander...Ian, are you listening?" She noticed that his eyes were a bit glazed over.  
He suddenly turned and looked at her. "Oh, I'm sorry Angel...I was just taking a moment to bask in the feeling of somebody other than you slapping my bottom." This cracked both of them up. Seeing a shadow on the ground, Ian looked up to discover Becker standing over them. He maintained his cool. "Hello Becker. I noticed you sitting over there with Betty and Phoebe. I guess there's just something girls find irresistible about a guy in a Phantom Of The Opera mask."  
Becker now sported the countenance of a beaten man. "Rita, I'm really sorry I shoved you out of that elevator a couple of days ago. I was humiliated, and in a state of panic. I can't thank you enough for sending the girls over to cheer me up."  
"You scared the hell out of me, Becker," she replied. "But you're forgiven."  
"Do you mind if I speak to your boyfriend alone for a minute?"  
"I'll go get my bike." She got up and left the two of them there.  
The two youths stared at each other for a good ten seconds before Becker finally spoke. "Ian...Ian..." He took a deep breath. "In spite of my cultural upbringing, this friendly business is a bit new to me..."  
"You're doing' fine, so far."  
Becker rolled his eyes. "Look, I have no idea how to make up for over a year's worth of abusive behaviour, but I'll just say this. While I'd certainly hesitate to call you a scholar in any traditional sense, you definitely are a gentleman...And I've got to admit that there is no other guy on this planet more worthy of Rita Hammond than the one sitting right in front of me."  
Ian sighed, "Yeah, she sure made me a better man."  
Becker agreed, "Yup, she made me a better man too, and needless to say, I was in much more dire need of improvement." Becker extended his arm. "Friend?"  
"For sure." The two boys shook hands.  
"Good show Ian," Steven, Sheila, Phoebe, Betty and Trish all came down out of the bleachers to give him kudos. "Will you be doing anything else this morning?"   
"Just messing around over there." He nodded towards the flatland area. "Rita and I discovered we have a mutual friend who goes to this school."  
"It's too bad they don't have something like this at Alamanda," Observed Sheila.  
"Yeah, tell me about it," Ian responded. "I finally discover a skill that I'm half-way decent at, and no one knows about it but you guys and me."  
Rita emerged from under the bleachers with her bike. "If you guys want to stick around and watch, we're going to go teach each other a few moves." As she spoke, Ian got up and grabbed the handlebars of his bike.  
"Thanks, but Sheila and I haven't had breakfast yet." Steven put his arm around his girlfriend's shoulders. "We're going to get something to eat." He turned to Becker, Phoebe, Betty and Trish. "You guys hungry?"  
"I am."  
"Me too."  
"Me three."  
"Me four."  
"Then , move it!," declared Steven. The six of them walked off towards the mall.

