When I came out of the closet at 19, I had
a number of fantasies about how my new life
as a strong and independent lesbian would
go.
None of those fantasies had me being knocked
up by a dude at 24, but life is full of surprises.
This pamphlet talks about all your different
options, and this sample pack has three prenatal
vitamins.
You’ll need to take one day starting…
well, yesterday.
Regardless of your choice.
Party
If you decide to keep it, buy more, if not,
well it’s all in there.
Yes!
I knew it.
No.
No yes.
Thumbs up as in positive, as in I’m positively
pregnant.
No, Rita that’s a thumbs down You-
Yeah that’s not right.
That’s not-
A failed morning after pill, a broken condom-
Broken Vegan condom
Let’s see if this is Destiny’s Child.
Pick three cards.
Oh no no no no, don’t pull that crap on
her, no, look you did not leave your hick-ass,
homophobic cow-town to be knocked up
by a Dude!
Can we just see what they say?
Uh oh, So this one… is a bad omen.
Whaaaat?
It just means that you are on your own.
Okay!
Well this one is the judgement card, it means
that you have a big decision that you need
to make.
Oh is anyone getting goosebumps or is it just
me.
Come on!
This one…
Wait, no no, lemme guess, it means that you
should make your own decisions, possibly based
on actual logic and reasoning.
What does it mean?
Looks like the universe isn’t going to give
a clear answer.
You need to talk to Adam about this.
You know how some straight girls experiment
with other girls in College?
Well, you could say Adam was my lesbian version
of that.
Boom baby!
What the hell?!
From Rita: Hey Adam, wanna swing by my place?
So?
And you might want to bring a stress reliever?
I thought you guys were done.
I thought we were too, but apparently now
she wants my stress reliever.
It’s not even five and you, you have a bootycall?
Yeah, and I’m going out for “drinks”
later with a girl on tinder.
You see Mac, it all comes in waves.
I mean, you’ll You’ll get your wave too
when you stop using Michelle’s facebook
like it’s PornHub.
Man I’m over her.
It’s just this really macho bro has been
liking and commenting on all of her posts,
and she’s been liking and commenting back.
I’m pretty sure they’re having sex.
Oh definitely.
But I mean it’s a good thing you’re over
her though right?
His name is Trent and, and he just used the
hashtag: Alberta Strong
Seriously, delete her.
Okay, booty calls, I’ll see yah later.
Wish me luck.
Adam, I’m pregnant.
Adam, the thing is…
I’m Pregnant!
Hah.
What’s got two thumbs and is super pregnant?
Heyy Rita.
Hey
How are you?
Good
Good to see you it’s been awhile
Yeah
I wasn’t expecting that text at all.
I mean I’m not surprised or anything but-
How you been keeping busy?
Pretty busy.
Mack and I have been crazy busy with the show.
We just filmed a episode for AD, Average Dicks
and, uh, it’s going to be really funny.
We got this whole bit with a car and Mack
gets his leg run over but it’s, it’s like
a prosthetic…
What’s what’s this for.
I’m pregnant…
The pee stick says I’m pregnant, and I peed
on another stick at the clinic and that one
also says-
You’re pregnant?
Yeah
But you-you took the morning after pill.
I didn’t see you take it but you did take
it right?
No, of course I took it.
I didn’t realize you had to watch me administer
it.
Have you had sex with anyone else?
No one else with a dick if that’s what you
mean.
Bu-but how?
How, How did this happen?
We did everything right.
Well to be fair, you did buy those cheap vegan
condoms.
They were actually really expensive.
I wanted you to think that I cared about animals
for some reason.
Why does everything vegan suck?
Oh I feel so stupid.
I totally thought this was a booty call.
What part of come over and bring a stress
reliever sounds like a booty call to you?!
I don’t know, all of it?
Yeah actually, no, I hear it now.
What did you mean by stress reliever?
I don’t know, like a stuffed animal or a
joint?
Right.
So, there’s a baby inside of you.
No.
No no no no.
Nope.
Clump of cells.
As soon as we start calling it a baby, the
whole deciding whether or not to keep it gets
much more intense.
Have you thought about… you know, taking
care of the… cell clump?
Actually I’ve been thinking about that a
lot more than I thought I would.
But I’ve also been considering an abortion.
Maybe we could just hang tonight and talk
about our options?
Yeah, uh, I actually, I had a tinder date
lined up but that’s fine.
I’ll cancel.
It’s not a big deal.
We decide to stop sleeping together a week
and you already have a tinder date?
Okay, lemme, see.
Sabrina, she’s actually pretty.
I love beer and watching hockey.
Gayyyy.
“Don’t wanna sleep cause we’re dreaming
out loud."
What’s that?
Is that from something?
Uh, I had to google it, it’s a one direction
lyric apparently.
Precious.
Yeah, I told her they were my guilty pleasure
and now she wants to meet up, so it worked.
That is romantic.
Here I’ll cancel it.
Let’s just get it out of the way.
No, I mean, we can talk about this tomorrow
or something, you should go on your date.
Nah, it’s all good she already cancelled.
Sorry
Wait, what, what are we doing?
I don’t know, I, I’m still in shock.
And I’m scared, and I originally thought
this was a booty call, and my, my erection
still thinks it’s a booty call.
I don’t know what’s going on.
Well I- It’s not like I can get more pregnant.
