This video was brought to you by the lovely
members of my Patreon.
Because here's the thing, there will always
be people out there who disagree.
There will always be people out there who
not only disagree with you but don't even
catch it at first that you're supposed to
be the gender that you identify as.
Right?
[Music]
Hey guys, it's Kat and It's time for another
episode of true tea.
I want to thank you guys so much for joining
me here for yet another episode of True Tea
How is your quarantine going?
What are you guys doing?
Have you picked up new hobbies?
I've been cooking a lot.
I've been trying to perfect like the best
non butter cookie recipe and I've kind
of done a couple of them and you know I've
never baked before.
This whole thing is making me feel so much
more capable than I ever have ever in my life.
So hopefully you guys are having a similar
experience and aren't getting too sad.
I hope my videos make you feel like you have
a friend at home that you can hang out with
and talk to.
That's kind of what we're trying to do on
this channel.
So yeah, if you're brand new, hopefully you
guys will join us here.
Anyway, we're going to be having a conversation
in this video once again about plastic surgery.
So if you are ready for that, if you feel
so inclined, my last video didn't go super
well, but if you're comfortable with that,
I would highly suggest that before we start
this conversation, you run off to the kitchen
and grab yourself something to drink.
Now I'm actually drinking some Thai Tea, as
you can tell by the orangeness.
I actually managed to find in my, you know,
my panic shopping, I managed to find like,
um, some sweetened condensed milk that had
like a little pusher sort of situation.
I usually have ones in cans, but I had one
that was clearly designed to be poured into
teas and things like that.
So I'm so happy I found that because now I
can put this in my Thai Tea
I've got a big gigantic bag of Thai Tea,
so that's probably what we'll be drinking
throughout the quarantine.
So yeah.
Anyway, let's take the sip and let's jump
right into this video.
So the last video that I did about plastic
surgery did not go well for some of you guys
and I didn't do the thing on that I usually
do in almost every single video when I talk
about trans experiences, I've been trying
to tone it down.
But it seems like you guys need me to say
this every single video.
So here we go.
It's gonna be another disclaimer because we've
got to have one every single video.
So first and foremost, I want to say that
I think the problem with my last video was
that I was talking about so many different
things at once.
I was on one hand talking about being a trans
person and thinking about surgery.
And on the other hand I was also talking about
just being a woman and sort of being in this
sort of time we're in, we're plastic surgery
seems to be sold to us as such a normal thing.
I mean, I don't know if you guys get this
too, but I'll be scrolling through my feed
and I'll get Real Self.
You know, promotions, you know, I'll be on
Instagram and you'll see real self promotions.
They'll say, this is how much it is.
I feel like we're in this age where plastic
surgery is sort of encouraged to us so much
and we see influencers and they get it so
frequently.
Right?
And so for me, most of my perspective about
plastic surgery comes from being a person
who already feels feminine, who already looks
feminine, imagining myself as becoming more
of that plastic surgery ideal that people
keep trying to sell us.
Right?
Um, one of the oversights, like I said, I
usually say this and it was every video, but
one of the things I didn't say on my last
video was that I'm a very privileged trans
person.
You know?
And I think that that is something to keep
in mind when you engage with my content.
I got my perspective, I've got my thoughts.
They are incredibly relevant.
And I'm never going to say that they aren't,
but I do have a privileged experience, right?
I could afford in many ways to come and say,
well, I don't need plastic surgery because
I already look feminine.
And that's just kinda been the case for me
forever.
Um, I don't want anyone, what I, I wish I
made clearer in that video is that I believe
that plastic surgery for a lot of transgender
people is lifesaving.
It is something that I think is necessary
that should be covered on people's insurances
and things like that because it does dramatically
improve the quality of life for a lot of people.
Right.
What we're going to be talking about in this
particular video is kind of what I've kind
of experienced as someone who hasn't had surgery
and some of the attitudes around me as a transgender
person who hasn't had surgery.
Because here's the thing, here's the thing.
A lot of those attitudes came out in the comment
section of that last video.
So that's what we're going to dive into in
this particular video.
So hopefully that made it clear.
I recognize my last video that I was kind
of doing this thing where I was talking about
two different things and not clarifying how
separated they were.
I don't want anyone to feel like they should
feel bad about the plastic surgery that they
get.
Period.
You want that surgery.
I think that's amazing for you.
If it makes you feel better, I think it's
a net positive thing.
If it puts dysphoria at Bay, I think that's
amazing.
I think that's great.
I just feel differently and that's what we're
here to talk about.
So let's get into it.
Let's talk about it.
Right?
So you know, for me, um, I think I started
like a lot of trans people, right?
Where you go on the internet, you try to find
other transgender people and you sort of start
to have a community around, you know, each
other.
And of course when you're in these circles,
especially if you're in a space where you
don't know very many transgender people, you're
not actually actively engaging in interacting
with other transgender people.
You're one of the few that you have.
You start to kind of create this sort of bubble
of being part of a trans community online,
even though you guys aren't really physically
part of the same community.
And in the various communities that I've been
part of, a lot of those, a lot of the community
focuses around transition.
And of course when we talk about transition,
we're talking about a lot of people pursuing
hormones and surgical procedures.
That's what for most people transition is
all about right.
And so one of the things that I sort of dealt
with was my immediate disconnect with just
a lot of the ways in which other transgender
people felt their femininity and their womanhood.
Um, in my own, the truth of my life is that
before I recognized that I was a trans woman,
people were reading me as a CIS girl.
That was just kind of the common way in which
I navigated through life.
I had so many situations when I was younger
and, and deep in denial of who I was, or I
would fight with people about them, you know,
calling me a girl and calling me she and dah,
dah, dah, dah, dah.
It was this thing that I would always like
make this big deal about.
But of course when I came out as transgender,
the people who grew up with me were like,
yeah, that makes fucking sense.
Right?
Everyone else saw it but me, you know, um,
well I knew, but I didn't, I didn't think
I could share it.
Right.
And so as my life has gone on as I've lived,
as I've gone about my day today, you know,
um, I recognize that I have been pretty easily
accepted as a woman and that surgery, the
surgery that I haven't had hasn't like contradicted
that or, or made that not the way that I'm
handled.
You know?
And that's the thing.
I think the thing that's so baffling to me
about plastic surgery and about people who
see their genders as more valid because they've
had it, is that there's plenty of people who
go and get plastic surgery and that doesn't
translate into them being read as female.
That doesn't translate to them being passable.
Right.
Um, I mean, I remember, I forget what documentary
this was, but I remember watching a bunch
of documentaries about, um, SRS, which I mean,
at one point I kind of do want to have a whole
video about my feelings about SRS, but I do
have feelings, um, lots and lots and lots
and lots and lots of feelings.
That's going to be another upsetting video.
Um, but there are people who they went out
and they got, they got, you know, bottom surgery
and they've believed because of what the,
what the, um, you know, the, the discourse
was at the time that if they had got bottom
surgery, everything in their life would change
because now they're "really a woman", right?
Because now, since they've gotten the surgery,
they are now "really a woman."
And in so many of these people's cases, as
much as I hate to say this, they didn't "pass",  quotations as cis women, right?
These were people who didn't are that we're
still very much being read in their daily
lives as men.
Right.
And I think actually one of the, I think the
documentary I watched actually came back and
sort of acknowledged that, right?
This idea that, you know, they had a hard
time handling the fact that they now had vaginas
but weren't going to be able to be accepted
as women.
Right.
And you know, so for, and for me it's just
kind of interesting listening to people feel
like their gender is now more valid since
they've had plastic surgery or now they're
actually a woman because they've had more
surgery.
Because here's the thing, there will always
be people out there who disagree.
There will always be people out there who
not only disagree with you, but don't even
catch it at first that you're supposed to
be the gender that you identify as.
Right?
And so this is the, this was like a thought
process that feeds into my, my personal sort
of like support of people feeling however
the fuck they want to feel about their gender.
Because there are always going to be people
who, people who disagree, you can be the most
beautiful, most surgically enhanced woman
in the entire world.
No one would ever look at [inaudible] and
second guess as a, as a woman.
But there will always be people who think
that you're not valid.
So for me, this whole, this whole idea of
getting plastic surgery to prove this grand
point about who you really are is just kind
of macabre and sad and backwards.
You know?
So one of the comments that someone said in
my last video was that I, I just hate on plastic
surgery because I'm broke and I secretly want
plastic surgery and I'm jealous and I'm bitter
and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah.
So here's the thing about that I can pretty
confidently say, because of my feelings about
plastic surgery, which if you didn't watch
that video right here, one of the things I
just mentioned in the video is that a, I'm
not against plastic surgery, but for me a
lot of plastic surgery, it gives me a lot
of body horror.
And I've always, I always, always, always,
always had this issue with putting myself
in a position where I allow someone to do
something permanent to me and I can't change
it.
You know?
That's why I do my own hair.
That's how I, you know, that's why I don't
really trust people to do like anything physical
to me.
Same reason I don't have a tattoo, you know,
like I just have this sort of fear of paying
someone out of pocket to do something to me
that I can't change and I now have to live
with.
You know, I'm very, very, very nervous about
that.
Right.
But there was definitely a time when I was
younger where I would be a little bitter and
a little jealous of these girls who got surgery
because like I said, when I was younger, if
I found the right, you know, rich man, I would've
gotten all the plastic surgery in the goddamn
world.
I would literally everything done.
I would have gotten my hips done,  on my ass and
my tits done, my lips done, all of my face
would be shaven down to nothingness, you
know?
It would just be, that would be what I would
do because that is what I wanted.
But in so many ways it's what I wanted because
that was the presented track of being transgender.
Everyone went and they reached a certain point,
they got their facial feminization surgery
and then they went on and were starting and
started to live their lives.
Like I talked about in previous years, a lot of
transgender people are, are just trying to
get to a point where they've finished or completed
their transition and can now suddenly start
living their life.
Right.
But what I personally observed of a lot of
transgender people who go and get surgery
is that it doesn't end there.
You get one surgical procedure, you feel like
you have to get another, you feel like you
have to get another cause of that one and
it's almost a never ending saga.
And listen, if you are part of the of these
trans communities, you know girls like this
who go in and get FFS and you know, they sit
with it for a while and they said, well you
know what, I've changed all this.
I want this, I want that, I want that, I want
this and da da da da.
I would hate to personally be in that position.
So for me, I've just kind of learned to appreciate
what I've got.
Again, I'm not writing off other surgical
procedures, but I will say right now that
the surgical procedures that I would get wouldn't
be noticeable to you.
They would be noticeable to me, but they would
not really be noticeable to you, if that makes
any sense.
So I'm not against it.
I just sort of have a lot of fear of doing
too much and then feeling like I'm never going
to be done.
Right.
That's, that's where that is.
Right.
But because I'm a transgender person who hasn't had surgery, that is brought up a lot
of questions about whether or not I'm actually
transgender.
I mean, to this day I will still occasionally
get people commenting on my videos and they'll
say, well, you're just a crossdresser.
You know, you're just a little, you know,
you just, you're just a man in makeup.
You're just, you know, this sort of, you know,
drag queen, you know, if you haven't had this
this done and that done, dah dah, dah, dah, you're
not really a woman.
Right.
And these are almost always consistently from
other trans people.
And the thing about that is the thing that,
that, that the, that I always find so interesting
about that is this, this kind of came out
in my last video where the cis women who
are commenting really connected with what
I was saying about being sort of sold plastic
surgery, being encouraged to adhere to a certain
Instagram baddie look were surgeries seem
as just kind of part of being feminine where
you're looking at your body and genuinely
feeling like there's something wrong with
it.
Like it's not correct because it doesn't look
exactly like those Instagram girls, right?
So a lot of CIS women had that reaction, right.
But then I had trans women who on the other
hand, um, were again saying that I was jealous
that I was bitter, that I dah, dah, dah, blah,
blah, blah.
And then they told me, well, you know what,
you need to get this done, Kat.
You know, I mean, one of them specifically
said that I needed a nose job, you know, um,
which I thought was funny because that touches
on another aspect of the conversation where
a lot of these standards, a lot of these plastic
surgery things that we're encouraged to do
are very Eurocentric.
Um, and you see that a lot.
That's a whole other conversation with black
women in plastic surgery, but we're not, that's
not what this video is gonna be about.
Maybe it's gonna, maybe another one, who knows.
Um, but for me, you know, I always find those
interactions to be interesting because like
I said, when I was younger and I was thinking
about myself as a transgender person, I personally
felt like I couldn't live my life and have
a valid gender if I didn't have that, those
surgeries.
Right.
And what I realized in reading their comments
is that what they're saying about me, they're
really projecting from their own internal
feelings.
They also feel like surgery validates their
gender and therefore they're more feminine
than I am.
More of a valid transgender person.
If, if they've had it right now, I will say
that in a lot of States the law has been if
you have plastic surgery, especially if you
have, like, breast implants, things like
that, you can change your gender marker legally.
So some of this comes from some of the legal
ideas that we had around gender.
Right?
But at the end of the day, I think what should
be the most important to a transgender person
is their internal feeling of themselves or
internal peace that they have with themselves
and in their gender.
Right.
And for some people the only way to get to
that piece is having plastic surgery.
For other people it's not.
And I think both paths are valid and that
that should be prioritized over what you think
other people's perceptions of you are going
to be.
You know, regardless of the genitalia that
I have or don't have, I've only really been
accepted as a woman.
I don't know what it feels like to be seen
as a man.
I have no concept of what that is.
Like I just don't, and that's not something
I'm saying to impress you.
But still something I'm trying to say to make
you feel, you know, like I'm just so amazing
and to be clear, I don't think I'm like this
amazing person or you know, I'm just so pretty
or whatever.
That's not, that's not at all how it is for
me.
Right.
But at the end of the day, right on, I don't
deal with people having a hard time accepting
me and I'm not somebody who's had surgery.
Right.
And that disconnect of like what I'm told
people are going to accept versus what ends
up being real has always been a little strange
for me.
Right.
Online, I'll get all these, these trans
girls will say, Oh, you look literally like
just exactly like a man.
You know, you're, you're just fat or you know,
I, one of my favorite comments is like, you
know what, if you didn't have any hair and
makeup on, you'd look just like a man, which
I know is not true, but whatever, you know,
people, and it's usually trans women.
It's usually trans girls, right?
But then I go outside, no bra, no makeup on,
no fucks given.
And people read me as a woman, there's this
really strong disconnect.
Right?
And for me, this also sort of points to another
sort of thing where this is not totally related,
but just, you know, like one of the things
that I, that I got into and people in the
comments in my last video was like, how I
wish I were one of those girls, right?
One of the girls who commented was like, you're
just bitter that you weren't able to make
a living off of your appearance, that you
weren't able to dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah,
dah.
You know, and that is so bizarre to, because
I don't think, I think if you were to ask
most women if they want to make a living off
of their appearance, they would say no.
I think most women want to be regarded for
what they can do, the things that they can
accomplish, what they can get done and not
for what they look like.
It does feel good to be admired for being
beautiful.
That obviously is gonna feel great, but at
the end of the day, I think most women don't
want that.
Right.
And it's clear to me in talking to some trans
girls that that they are the most, they're
the most fixated.
Their womanhood is the most placed on being
beautiful, on being the most gorgeous, most
glamorous thing in the room.
To me, there is a part of me that feels odd
about that being the thing that they feel
validates their, their womanhood.
Because women can look however the fuck they
want to look.
Women that can look like anything, they're
still women.
It doesn't change.
That's who they are.
I see my womanhood as the base, the base of
who I am.
I don't see it as a collection of surgical
procedures or make up or feminization, you
know, procedures that that will validate me
as a woman.
I did this thing when I was younger where
it took a long time to slowly but surely ramp
up into my, my feminine expression.
Right.
And because I took so much time because I
was so patient and I did things so little
by little here and there, dah, dah, dah, dah,
dah.
At 29 years old, my approach to my femininity
is very, very stripped down.
It's not performative, it's not this overblown
thing.
I don't need a lot of makeup or a lot of surgery
to feel like a woman.
It's just is who I am.
These things I put on me made me feel good.
They made, you know, in some cases, you know,
not, not so much anymore, but when I was younger
for sure put dysphoria at Bay, they may help,
you know, but at the same time they don't
make or break me.
And I think it's concerning to me when, when
you start to associate the validity of your
gender with how much you've done to yourself
or how much you've put onto yourself because
then the cause, then the question comes, are
you that, are you still who you are without
all that stuff?
So yeah.
I mean I have so much to say about plastic
surgery and we didn't get into all of it in
this video, but I think we're going to end
it here cause I could talk about this for
ever.
I talk about this forever and I didn't want
it, but I wanted to make a more trans specific
version of this conversation.
Again, I think if you're trans and you're
getting surgery to put your dysphoria at Bay,
I think that is valid.
I believe 100% in that and I totally support
it.
Don't take my, my transition, my transition,
my life is my life.
You are not better or worse down for not having
had plastic surgery.
You know, you can do whatever you want with
your body and with yourself, right?
That's all valid.
Do what you want to do.
Don't, don't let my little aesthetic, you
know, distract you.
So anyway, we're going to end this video out
here.
If you have made it through this entire video,
I would absolutely love it and appreciate it
If you put this emoji in the comment box below,
Sidenote, the video that I did last week was filmed
a very long time ago.
Um, so we didn't, we weren't even doing emojis
back then.
That's how long ago I fillmed it.
So we're just gonna use the emoji that I tried
to use last week in the comment section.
So just put that in the box below and I will
see you guys next week.
Right now you are looking at two videos if
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Bye.
