Where am I?
The last thing I remember is opening that package that was on the lab table.
I remember.
There was this huge flash of light.
Then...here.
Actually, I can help explain a few things.
Norbert.
Not him again.
Yes, that's right.
HIM.
I would have been rich if you didn't interfere with my plan.
Why the hell did you bring us here?
Ahh, I'm glad you asked that, Carl.
I'd like you to meet my new friends.
Nice to meet you, real me.
What the hell, fake me.
Hmm.
Hmm.
I like your hair.
Aww, thank you!
What are they?
Dolls?
Action figures.
Shortly after you foiled my plans
I found a material called "plastomat" to occupy my time.
It's a rare material, very rare.
I was only able to find three blocks.
What the hell is plastomat?
It creates miniature, plastic replicas of organic matter
i.e. people down to the perfect detail.
Every thought, every memory the same.
All I needed was a sample of your blood.
And how'd you get THAT from each of us, Mr. Smarty Pants?
See that?
It's my own invention.
These robosects took the blood samples I needed.
Whoa, wait...robo"sex"?
No, roboSECTS.
Like insects, only robots.
Hence, robosects.
Then why don't you just call them robot insects?
Because that's too long.
I'd waste valuable time just saying their name.
You're wasting time now.
Enough about the damn things!
That's not important right now.
(Norbert's Mom)
Norbert, honey...
What?!
(Norbert's Mom)
I baked some cookies.
(Norbert's Mom)
Would you like to give some to your little friends?
Not right now, mom, I'm busy!
Oh, oh! Norbert's Mom, can I have some cookies?
Silence!
(Norbert's Mom)
Did someone want cookies?
No, mom, leave me alone, I'm busy!
I want cookies AND milk.
Can I have some milk?
I have to go to the bathroom.
None of you are getting anything.
You are my prisoners.
Hey, Norbert, I almost forgot.
I found this in the Professor's drawer.
How could she? She's only like 5 inches tall.
Ahh, good, the unicorn horn.
Rightfully mine once again.
Now that you have that, how about letting us go?
Oh, no, I have something special planned for you four.
My plan of revenge!
Since I went to the trouble of making miniature, plastic duplicates of you three, I'm going to get my money's worth.
Are you going to sell them on the Internet?
No, they're going to kill you with miniature knives.
But those are tiny, they can't kill us.
Oh, if they prick the right spot, say on the neck, they certainly can.
Eek!
What about me?
You, dear professor are going to watch your prized students suffer agonizing deaths.
Then you'll let me go?
Then I'll stick this straight through your heart.
Fitting, since you were the one responsible for taking it from me.
(Norbert's Mom)
Norbert, dear...
What, mom?! I said I was busy!
(Norbert's Mom)
Could you help me bring the dog in?
Have you tried using that ball he likes?
(Norbert's Mom)
I can't find it!
(sigh)
Fine, I'll get it!
I'll be back in a few minutes.
When I return, I expect them to be dead.
Uh, guys...
You're not really going to do this, are you?
(AF Roger)
Sure we are.
(AF Liz)
Don't worry, just a tiny little cut and you'll be dead.
But you don't HAVE to kill us!
There can't be two of us running.
He's right.
How can we be unique individuals if we're not unique?
Who says we have to be unique, anyway?
But they are unique.
They're action figures!
But our thoughts are the same.
Isn't a person made up of the sum and experiences of their lives?
He's right again.
Carl, stop agreeing with yourself!
Hey, if you kill us, won't you essentially be killing the part of yourself?
How could you live with that?
(AF Roger)
I'd be fine with it. What about you guys?
(AF Carl)
Yeah.
(AF Liz)
Sure.
Wait, the only reason you're going to kill them is because they threaten your individuality, correct?
(AF Roger)
That's right. We don't care about Norman and his stupid revenge, anyway.
(AF Carl)
Yeah, who can empathize with someone who craps in his pants all the time?
Exactly!
You say your physical form doesn't matter
but it does.
You're now 5 inches tall.
Don't you think that that will affect the course of your life and experiences from now on?
You may have the same memories NOW
but in a few years' time
after you go through your own unique life experiences that the original you's won't have
experiences that come from being 5 inches tall...
Like making sure a dog won't eat you.
You will in the end be completely different people.
Albeit, there will be some similarities because of the starting point.
(AF Roger)
I get it. Hell, we're already different.
(AF Roger)
Look at me, I'm threatening myself with a miniature knife.
(AF Carl)
Living life as an action figure will inspire me to write poems the original me could never think of.
You know, I don't really want to kill them anymore.
You said "them"
Yeah, that feels right.
They're not us...they're "them"
You have an entire world to explore.
Now even bigger than before.
Yeah, I could do that.
(AF Carl)
Me too.
(AF Liz)
Definitely.
Sorry that took so long, I had to--
What happened here?!
Sorry, man. We couldn't do it.
(grunt)
We'll be taking this.
(AF Roger)
Well, I guess this is it. Our new life.
What's it like being weiner-less?
Ahh, you get used to it.
It's getting late.
You three you should probably be heading home right about now.
It IS a school night.
(AF Roger)
We should be on our way, too.
Where will you go?
(AF Roger)
Who knows, but at least we've got each other.
Bye Action Figure Liz.
Bye Organic Liz.
(AF Roger)
So, which direction should we go?
(screams)
