 
THE CARING-SHELL

K.L. Schaefer

Copyright 2014 K.L. Schaefer

Smashwords Edition

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"Here's the new triad partner I promised you, Jilvray. What do you think of em?"

Jilvray's round brown eyes lit up with hope as ee knelt down beside the young scharn Eddam had just shoved flat on es face in the sand in front of their hut. The stranger wasn't very big, but ee wore the red fishleather sash of a sexually mature available adult so es clawnails must have darkened early. Es pale brown fur was matted with dried blood in several places, as was es even paler mane. Es hands were tied behind em, and a hobble of tough leather bound es ankles, making it impossible for em to take a normal step, much less swim. Eddam hadn't yet bothered to remove the blindfold used to prevent es captive from knowing where ee was being taken.

Jilvray helped the unfortunate youngster turn over onto es back. One end of the red sash tied around the stranger's waist was decorated with the scalloped shape of a telvin shell. That would be the insignia of Clan Jegar, nearly two days' swim away, but the nearest neighbor.

Jilvray's eye fell on es own dark brown sash knotted over es left hip. One of the dangling ends had the squat "X" shape marking es status as high-Junior in a breeding triad, while the other end showed the Hilvesh symbol: a stylized krale, flukes raised and mouth gaping open. Ee'd be hard pressed to say which ee hated most: the actual krale, which haunted the deep water and preyed on scharns, or the vicious Clan that had taken such a beast as its symbol.

As ee pulled off the blindfold, Jilvray saw reflected in the young captive's eyes the terrible desolation ee emself had felt when ee'd first been brought here almost three years ago. Buried hatred broke through to the surface of es mind like the sudden breaching of a krale and ee knew ee hated Clan Hilvesh more than ee'd ever hate any wild beast, no matter how fearsome that beast might be.

But ee had to put that aside for now.

Even though Jilvray's heart went out to the young stranger, ee knew there was nothing ee could do to help em. Telling emself this was the Third Parent ee'd need to ensure a proper awakening for the egg ee was soon to bear, ee began working on the knots securing the youngster's wrists, doing es best to avoid meeting es eyes.

"Hey, be careful," Eddam said, grabbing Jilvray's wrists. Es long brown clawnails pricked heedlessly into the flesh beneath es Junior's fur, but es thoughts were closed off tightly so nothing seeped through the contact point formed by those sensitive claws. Jilvray envied Eddam's control. Ee emself was always sloppily leaking emotions whenever ee touched someone. The Senior's Inner Shell was strong.

Although the Inner Shell had no true existence, it was the visualization device all scharns used to control their mental contacts. To prevent unwanted intimacy, a scharn was trained from infancy to protect the innermost core of es personality by picturing it as enclosed within a hard shell, with the two sections tightly closed. The type of shell might vary with individual preference, but it was always a bivalve, capable of opening when necessary but normally kept clamped together.

"Ee claws like a grishmaul," Eddam cautioned. "Came close to putting my eyes out when we first caught em."

Jilvray pulled es hands out of es Senior's grasp, going back to work on the knots. "Ee won't hurt me. Ee's scared enough, without being tied hand and foot."

This was all too true, but there was a burning hatred under the youngster's fear, despite es pathetic condition. Jilvray could feel it as es clawnails touched the other scharn's hands, rubbing them gently to restore circulation. Ee carefully avoided letting es claws come in contact with the stranger's claws, not wanting to feel the full extent of that hatred. It would only remind em yet again of how ee felt about Eddam and all of Clan Hilvesh.

The captive sat up, tossing es head to throw es disheveled mane out of es face. The short fur over es left cheekbone was caked with dried blood and es lips were split and swollen from a blow. The longer fur on the rest of es body doubtless hid other cuts and bruises. Nevertheless, with es handsome flat nose and amber eyes, ee would be quite attractive, if ee weren't so battered.

Jilvray checked the hobble around es ankles to make sure it wasn't too tight, but ee knew better than to suggest it be taken off. Someday perhaps, when they were certain ee wouldn't try to escape -- maybe when ee was carrying es own egg. But certainly not now.

Eddam grabbed the youngster under es arms, lifting em roughly to es feet. "Come on. Let's take our new partner into the water right now and make sure ee knows ee's ours." Ee grinned nastily and pulled the youth against the front of es body. The young scharn tried to squirm away, but Eddam had a hand on es throat, clawnails poised over one of the large blood vessels in es neck.

"I think ee knows who ee belongs to, Senior," Jilvray said. "Give em a chance to recover before we claim em."

Eddam's dark blue eyes narrowed dangerously. "I said 'now,' not tomorrow. You're the one who's been after me to get us a third partner ever since Arlysh died. I finally bring you someone, and you don't want em?"

Jilvray shifted uneasily on the sand. "I wanted us to choose someone from our own Clan, not kidnap a stranger."

"There's no one available now." Eddam began to sound distinctly annoyed. "If you want a third partner, here ee is. If not, I can find another triad that'll be glad to take em."

Jilvray sighed and hoisted emself to es feet, swaying a little with the weight of es heavy belly as ee tried to get es balance. Ee knew any further argument would be useless. Ee should just be thankful Eddam had found them a third partner. Best not to push em too far.

Favoring es right foot as they circled around the low dunes lying between their small thatched hut and the ocean, Jilvray limped along behind es Senior. The land curved slightly outwards off to either side, since Hilvesh's territory lay in the center of a shallow indentation in the coastline. Sixteen other huts nestled in the hollows between dunes, protected from the wind but close enough to the safety of the water should nocturnal predators raid the Clan. In the central and safest location, where the Elders dwelt, stood the largest and most elaborate hut, its top almost visible over the nearby dunes.

As the three scharns crossed the beach, two others waded ashore through the low surf, fishing spears in hand. One of them held up several cranids and a bigeye, shouting cheerfully, "Fish hunting's good today, but it looks like you and your friends brought home a bigger catch than we did, Eddam!"

The Senior waved es acknowledgement, grinning broadly. Eddam's age-darkened fur gleamed with black highlights in the bright sun, es face and mane almost completely black. Although ee wasn't quite as tall as Jilvray, ee was stocky and muscular and far more powerful.

As they splashed into the wash of the waves, Jilvray pointed out quietly, "We don't even know our new partner's name."

Eddam swung es stumbling captive around to face them. "What're you called?"

The bedraggled stranger tried to pull emself up straight. Ee ignored Eddam, looking directly at Jilvray as ee answered with as much dignity as ee could muster under the circumstances, "I am Senesh m'var Relle's dar Jegar."

"No, you're not," Eddam corrected, shoving Senesh so that ee stumbled and fell awkwardly down into the water. "Once we finish claiming you, you'll be Senesh shar Eddam's dar Hilvesh, my little one. And don't you forget it." Ee reached for the young scharn's waist, untying the red sash and tossing it negligently into the waves. "So much for Clan Jegar. You can forget you ever belonged to them. I'll see you get a proper Hilvesh sash when we return to shore."

Jilvray sank down into the cool green water, glad to feel it take es weight. Ee unfolded es long webbed toes from their cramped walking position under the soles of es feet and began swimming along next to the other two scharns. Even though es crippled right foot slowed em down, swimming was far less painful than walking.

Jilvray could barely remember how ee used to go into the water for sex with one or both of es beloved triad partners. They would run joyfully into the surf, splashing through the waves, anticipating the pleasure to come. They would hold hands, clawnails touching, sharing their love with each other. When the waves rose high enough to reach between their legs, bathing their genitals in the salty coolness of the sea -- Ah! So good!

As they got into the deeper water, they would swim for a short while, the feeling of the water rushing against them, the anticipation that hardened es penis and prepared es slit to open.

But that was years ago, in es own Clan. Now, there was no love or caring. All ee could anticipate this time was pain and frustration, for both emself and the unfortunate captive destined to be their low-Junior.

Ee glanced at Senesh. The youngster couldn't swim very well with es feet tied, but Eddam pushed em along until the water was well over their heads, then ee wrapped an arm around Senesh, holding em upright in the water and pulling em roughly against es body.

Jilvray floated on es back, rising and falling on the gentle swells and trying not to think of what was going on so close by, since there was nothing ee could do to stop it. Ee knew all too well that Eddam wouldn't bother to get es new partner's slit ready to be opened, even though it took very little time to prepare em. Ee would be using es free hand to force es hard penis between the tough lips of flesh that covered and protected Senesh's slit. Many of the other Hilvesh Seniors did the same thing. That was all they knew: being forced open while a low-Junior, and then gaining the privilege of forcing their own Juniors when they had their own triads.

"No! Not like this!" Senesh said frantically as soon as ee realized what was happening. "I'm not ready."

"Do you think I care? Stop struggling or I'll make it hurt even more."

Jilvray winced as ee heard Senesh's voice trail off into a strangled scream of pain. The only good thing about Eddam was that ee always finished fast.

Even though Jilvray couldn't stop what was happening, it was hard to ignore the guilt ee felt. If ee hadn't pestered Eddam to find a new low-Junior, Senesh might still have been with es parents instead of having es slit being brutally opened by a Senior ee had neither chosen nor wanted.

Ee glanced out over the ocean, where a seabird skimmed across the tops of the waves. The bird cried out, a long triumphant warble that ended in a sob. The sound reflected Jilvray's conflicting feelings only too well. Ee didn't want the youngster to hate em. In fact, ee was beginning to hope Senesh might learn to like em, at least a little.

Then ee caught sight of es body floating in the water and shook es head sadly. Once es fur had been smooth and shiny, with a nice yellow tint underlying the basic brown. Once other scharns had looked at em and found em pleasing. But that had been long ago, before ee'd been kidnapped and brought to Hilvesh. Now es fur was dull, es mane tangled and unkempt. Why should ee bother to take care of emself? To attract es Senior? Ee shuddered. Eddam's attention was the last thing in the world Jilvray wanted.

Es body was already swelling with the egg ee had carried now for almost two Hands of tendays. It seemed to em gross and sloppy, where it should have been beautiful with the promise of new life.

No, it would be too much to hope Senesh might come to like em. Jilvray didn't even like emself. But Senesh was the partner ee so desperately needed. Time was growing short. Sometime in the not too distant future, it would be time to expel es egg. One way or another, Jilvray would do es best to keep Senesh, even against the youngster's wishes. Ee had no choice, if es child were to live. Ee would need Senesh as es third partner in order that ee could provide the awakening that would be necessary when it came time to bear es egg.

So Jilvray just floated on the waves and watched the clouds roll by overhead, knowing it was es turn next, but even so wishing for Senesh's ordeal to be over.

Although Senesh didn't give in easily, it didn't take long before all the frantic splashing stopped and Senesh lost the battle. After that, there was a more rhythmic splashing going on, interspersed with more cries of pain from the young scharn. Before very long, Senesh grew silent.

Jilvray deliberately continued to look out to sea. Ee knew what must happen next, but ee doubted Senesh would want to take es new Senior in return for what had just been done.

Eddam released Senesh and turned es back to the young scharn. "Make it quick. I don't want to be out here all day," ee ordered. Easy enough for em to say, since es own slit would be open and ready, after what ee had just done to Senesh.

The splashing began again, interspersed with Eddam's fierce demands. Jilvray didn't have to look; all ee had to do was listen and ee knew full well how it was going.

"Come on, you little weakling! Faster! Harder! I intend to enjoy this! Yeah, that's it. Like that. Keep going. Oh yeah! Do it right, or I'll slice you into pieces and feed you to the grishmauls! Yeah! Yeah!"

Jilvray was tempted to cover es ears with es hands, but if Eddam were to notice em doing that, ee'd be in trouble.

At long last, it was over. Jilvray turned toward es partners. A thin red streamer of blood drifted out into the water from a fresh gash on Senesh's arm. The young one was brave, but foolish. Soon enough, ee would learn.

Ignoring Senesh, Eddam reached for Jilvray, es eyes unfocussed and vague with lust. Jilvray obediently turned es back to es Senior, placing emself in the proper position for penetration. Eddam's strong arms pinned Jilvray against em and es extended organ already probed between es Junior's thighs, seeking es slit. Jilvray closed es eyes and tried to close es mind, as Eddam entered em. Fortunately for Jilvray, ee had long ago learned how to relax and allow es slit to be forced open. It was less painful that way, but it wasn't very pleasant.

When Eddam was done, ee released es high-Junior and turned es back to em. Jilvray took hold of es Senior, dutifully doing to Eddam as Eddam had just done to em. Es body was ready enough now and es organ was fully extended, but es mind was numb. Jilvray would just as soon have mated with a grishmaul.

While they were occupied, Senesh had attempted to swim away despite the hobble around es ankles. Eddam caught em easily and dragged em back.

"Ee's all yours," the Senior said, shoving the youngster into Jilvray's arms. "Have fun."

Forcing sex on someone wasn't Jilvray's idea of fun. "Couldn't I -- couldn't I wait a while, Senior? Until ee recovers a bit?"

Exasperated, Eddam smacked es high-Junior on the side of the head with the palm of es hand. "If you want a partner, you'll consummate our triad completion now. I'm sick and tired of your complaints. You're going to do it, and I'll be floating nearby, just to make sure."

Jilvray knew Eddam would use es clawnails if ee hit em again. And ee did want this Junior so very much. Besides, with ee emself already carrying an egg and neither Senesh nor Eddam was in shirren, this was only ordinary sex. Nothing serious could come of it, so it wasn't all that important. And when it was finished, Senesh would be the low-Junior in their triad.

Obediently, Jilvray turned to the youngster in es arms. Senesh tried to pull away. Jilvray felt the urgency in es own extended penis, now fully hard and ready. It always amazed em that the same organ that was used to urinate could feel so wonderful when aroused. As soon as ee felt it, ee tried to squelch es desire. Ee was determined to treat Senesh properly.

"Easy now," Jilvray whispered softly into es ear. "I'm not Eddam. I'm not going to hurt you. I know how to do it right. Turn around. Let me get you ready."

Senesh's face registered surprise and doubt, but ee did as ee was told.

Jilvray wrapped es right arm around Senesh, settling es hand on the young scharn's chest, just over es small breast. Ee held tightly, but not too tightly. Senesh sucked in a small gasp, as Jilvray fingers played over es nipple.

With es other hand, Jilvray reached down below the surface, carefully feeling Senesh's crotch. Just where the fur was the longest and thickest, Jilvray took hold of the fur and tugged lightly and slowly, just teasing the protective lips over es opening. The outer part of each lip was covered with fur, so a slight pull could coax them to want to be opened, but Jilvray was very aware that they would be sore, after Eddam's vicious penetration. Carefully, ee parted the fur enough to feel the closed slit. At the first slight touch of the older scharn's searching fingers, Senesh whimpered softly.

"I'll be careful," Jilvray said into the other scharn's ear. "But I have to do this. Try to relax."

Ee rubbed the pads of es fingers over the tough outer side of the lips, being careful not to let es sharp clawnails touch flesh. Es own organ grew harder at that intimate contact, but ee wouldn't rush. Gradually, the lips relaxed, lengthening and loosening to reveal the slick inner lining. Senesh went limp against Jilvray's body, now ready and willing to take Jilvray's penis into em. Even so, Jilvray entered em slowly, bit by bit, knowing Senesh's slit would be irritated by what Eddam had done. Once ee was all the way in, Senesh's insides went into the rhythmic spasms that would squeeze Jilvray's penis and stimulate em to release es seed. It was so wonderful to feel that beautiful squeezing. Even the elongated lips were pulled tight around the base of es penis, drawing em in deeper. Jilvray moaned with delight when ee felt es penis respond, pumping out es seed in time with the lovely spasms that clutched em so snuggly inside es new partner.

Then it was over for both of them. Senesh's body relaxed and let loose Jilvray's organ. With luck, Eddam wouldn't have noticed what ee had done.

Immediately, Jilvray turned around, putting es back to Senesh in a clear invitation to penetrate em in turn.

Senesh took the hint, grabbing the other scharn and clutching em close. Es organ was hard and ready, after what Jilvray had done, but ee held emself back, doing in turn what Jilvray had done to em.

When the tip of the young scharn's organ pushed gently against es opening, Jilvray welcomed em inside. After all the abuse ee had taken from Eddam over the years, it entered em easily. Joined together, they floated on the waves of pleasure coursing inside their bodies. When Senesh's seed flowed into em, Jilvray had to fight back the urge to moan, not wanting Eddam to realize ee was enjoying this. For a few brief seconds, ee imagined emself with es triad partners back in es own Clan. Then it was over, and reality closed in on em like a wave crashing down on the shore when a storm blew in.

As they separated, Jilvray glanced around, looking for Eddam. The Senior was floating on es back looking out to sea, not paying much attention to es Juniors. Jilvray gave a sigh of relief.

Once they had gotten ashore and Eddam had led Senesh to their hut, the two Juniors sat together as Jilvray fed the youngster a good meal and tended the various cuts and slashes ee had received. Jilvray was well content. Es coming child might yet live, now that ee had a Third Parent.

Their Senior had stalked off as soon as ee'd finished eating to hang out with some of es friends.

"You know, you'd be better off if you didn't try to fight Eddam," Jilvray remarked, trying to sound as offhand as possible. "Ee'll win."

"I'll never give in to em willingly," Senesh declared. Then ee looked around carefully and es expression changed. "I'm not going to stay here. I'll run away as soon as I can."

Jilvray shook es head. "It's not that easy, shaiya." Senesh frowned at the term of endearment, but Jilvray didn't let that discourage em. "With that hobble around your ankles, they'd catch you before you got very far, whether or not you walked or swam."

"I won't stay here! I want to go back to my family and my Clan."

Jilvray put a hand on es shoulder. Senesh looked down at the long webbed fingers and dark brown clawnails resting on es fur. Faint streaks of iridescence showed within the dark claws, outlining sensitive nerves. The clawnails on the last two fingers were twisted and deformed, lacking even the sharp points that should have been at the tips. Senesh held es Inner Shell tightly closed, not inviting contact.

"As long as you're hobbled, you can't do anything," Jilvray answered. "Someday Eddam will let it be taken off, but only when ee's certain you won't run away. In the meantime, pretend to cooperate, even if you don't like it. That will make Eddam less suspicious."

Senesh's eyes swept the seaward horizon with longing, but ee did as Jilvray advised.

It was only a couple of tendays later that Jilvray bore es egg, earlier than might have been expected, but not abnormally so. The contractions started early in the morning, but ee went about es duties as usual, not wanting to say anything until ee was sure es time was approaching. This would be the first egg ee had been able to carry to its full term, so ee wasn't as confident as ee might have been.

Finally, ee could no longer conceal es growing discomfort. Ee had to tell Eddam.

The Senior had been on lookout duty during the previous night, so ee was sound asleep in the back of the hut, even though it was almost midday. Senesh sat against one wall, staring morosely at es bound ankles as Jilvray crossed over to Eddam and knelt alongside es sleeping mat.

"Senior?" ee said softly, hesitant about awakening em but knowing ee needed the other scharn's help. "Senior, please wake up. Senior --"

Jilvray's voice faded out as Eddam turned over and glared at em.

"What do you want?"

"The egg is coming."

Being deliberately obtuse, Eddam stretched languidly and asked, "So?"

"I need your help," Jilvray began, es eyes cast down. "You're Second Parent to this egg --"

"If you think I'm going to make contact with you, you're mistaken," Eddam replied grumpily.

As the one who had originally fertilized the egg, Eddam could have made an exceptionally close mental contact with Jilvray, easing es pain and helping em open far quicker than ee could on es own. Refusing such contact was a Hilvesh Senior's prerogative, but it wasn't usually invoked.

"But --"

Eddam turned es back. "Forget it. You're the one who wants the hatchling, not me, so you can just do it by yourself."

"Senior, please," Jilvray started to plead, then doubled over as another contraction began. Ee concentrated on es breathing and on the relaxation exercises ee'd been taught as a child.

As the cramping eased, ee became aware of Senesh's hand on es shoulder. "Forget about em," the young scharn said scornfully. "I'll help you."

"But you've got to be Third Parent. You can't do both."

"Why not? I saw it done once in my Clan. It's difficult, but not impossible." Senesh shrugged. "Besides, you've got no choice. Come on outside and let's find a good place."

With no other alternative, Jilvray followed Senesh out of the hut.

They found a secluded spot between the higher dunes at the back of the beach and sat down facing each other. Jilvray held a short length of padded stick in es hands, to prevent the sharp points on es clawnails from inadvertently digging into the palms of es own hands. With an encouraging smile, Senesh closed es fingers over Jilvray's. As their clawnails interlaced on the stick, the youngster carefully opened es Inner Shell, making emself available to share in the pain and help encourage the strength of the contractions. Jilvray's deformed clawnails made it just that much more difficult, since they distorted any contact ee attempted.

Senesh did the best ee could, but they were both exhausted and hurting before much longer.

"Give it up, shaiya," Jilvray gasped between contractions. "Save your strength for the awakening. You'll need it."

"I won't let you suffer alone, as long as I can help," Senesh replied. "You could die of exhaustion without someone else to share this."

"It doesn't matter. What have I got to live for anyway? I don't want to risk taking you with me, if this goes wrong."

"You won't. It can't take much longer. Don't give up yet."

Jilvray just nodded, as the pain of the next contraction began to build.

As it turned out, Senesh was right. The contractions eased off as the time for the awakening approached. Faintly at first, Jilvray felt the diffuse presence of the half-developed life inside the egg. Then it strengthened into a confused and fragile yearning, like a tiny spark of light that would blink out if not fed. One thing was certain: if for any reason there was no awakening at the time the egg was ready to be expelled, the developing infant would die unhatched.

"Now!" Jilvray gasped weakly. "Awaken it!"

Senesh released es partner's hands. Placing es own hands on the bulge of the egg and digging es sharp clawnails deep into Jilvray's skin beneath es fur while forcing es Inner Shell open entirely, Senesh struggled to contact that elusive spark of life, knowing ee only had a short time to awaken the mind of the developing infant before the light blinked out.

Jilvray could feel the tension and strain of Senesh's body, reflecting the internal struggle of es effort. The awakening was not only crucial for the infant's development but it would also allow the hatchling to recognize its Third Parent later on. Although it was theoretically possible to acclimate a young hatchling to someone other than es own Parents, if need be, but that couldn't be counted on.

Suddenly, Senesh made contact. Jilvray felt the light flaring bright in the darkness of es mind. Deep inside es body, something changed. Es inner sphincter relaxed and opened wider. As the next contraction began, Senesh grabbed es hands and helped em get up and into a squatting position, supporting em from behind with es body and reaching around to again make contact with Jilvray, urging em to push, push as hard as ee could. Jilvray tried, but ee was almost at the point of passing out. Es slit was swollen and open, dripping blood-streaked fluid, the lips stretched and hanging limply between es legs.

"Can't," ee whispered.

"Yes, you can! Push!"

Jilvray's mind began to drift into unconsciousness, es head falling back against Senesh's shoulder. The world was spinning around. Ee was losing control of es body. Ee couldn't do any more.

Then an overwhelming flood of determination washed through em from the contact with Senesh. The distortion from es ruined clawnails was swept away like the storm waves on the beach, and es body obeyed the command of that deep contact.

Another cycle of pain rippled through em, but ee felt the egg move down this time.

Again came that invincible command to push. Then again. And again.

The pressure between es legs became almost more than ee could bear. Ee was sure ee'd be ripped wide open. Ee did scream then, but ee was so exhausted it came out as little more than a shrill moan.

Then es egg lay in the sand between es feet, the soft sand-colored shell beginning to harden immediately on exposure to the air.

Jilvray collapsed into Senesh's arms. Despite es pain and exhaustion, ee smiled. Reality came back into focus. The relentless pressure was gone and ee was still alive.

The awakening had taken place, and the hatchling would now have a chance to live as a separate and individual being. Letting go of the padded stick and shutting down their contact, both of the scharns touched the egg carefully with their clawnails. They were able to sense that difference. Before being awakened, it wasn't truly a living being. Or so it was generally believed.

Although the hatchling would never show any physical resemblance to es Third Parent, as ee would to his First and Second Parents, there would be definite similarities just the same. An unusually acute mental sensitivity was often a trait that seemed to come from a Third Parent, rather than either of the others.

Jilvray turned to face Senesh. Ee gasped, "We did it."

The young scharn grinned, amber eyes shining. Ee looked almost as worn out as es partner. "Yes," ee agreed, "we did, didn't we?"

That night, Jilvray fell asleep with es precious egg cuddled under one arm, covered with a worn scrap of jophet fur. Ee hadn't felt so pleased with emself in a very long time.

In the morning, Senesh was nowhere to be found. Eddam and several other Seniors set off after the runaway. Still hobbled, the youngster hadn't gotten very far before ee was caught and brought back.

Eddam didn't bother to take es errant low-Junior to the Clan Elders for judgement. An attempt at escape was expected of a new captive, especially one with spirit, so all ee did was have es friends hold Senesh while ee taunted the youngster and thrashed em, reopening half-healed cuts and creating new bruises.

"Try it again," Eddam warned when ee was through, "and I'll call you down before the Elders for attempting to escape. They'll break one of your clawnails for that, my little one, so think twice before you presume further on my good nature."

Then ee strode away, leaving es Junior to lie bleeding in the sand.

Later that afternoon, Jilvray lay holding es egg and staring unhappily at the sleek fur of Senesh's back. The youngster sat off to one side of their small dwelling, refusing to eat or speak, es attitude as chilly as the damp breeze coming in off the sea. Every so often, ee plucked a leaf out of the framework of interwoven branches that formed the curved wall of the hut, shredding it viciously into small pieces with es clawnails. Annoyed by es low-Junior's sullenness, Eddam picked up es fishing spear and strode off towards the ocean to hunt.

Jilvray tried to push emself up into a sitting position, but didn't quite have the strength. A drink of cold water would have tasted good, but, after what had happened, ee didn't want to approach Senesh with a plea for assistance. They had seemed so close during the bearing, but that only made the young scharn's present withdrawal harder to bear.

Sinking back onto the grass mat, Jilvray said quietly, "You were heading in the wrong direction, you know. We're out on a peninsula. There's nothing that way for days but forest, and then you come to the open ocean. You should have gone the other way."

Senesh turned. "How would you know?" ee asked.

"I tried to run that way once."

Senesh grunted. "Will they really break my clawnails next time?" ee finally asked.

Jilvray stroked the egg cuddled in the crook of es arm, remembering that other egg ee had been carrying early on after ee had been brought to Hilvesh. The egg ee had miscarried, alone in the forest as ee'd tried to escape yet again, with es first broken clawnail still raw and aching.

"Oh, yes. Each time from now on, they'll break another clawnail. Once they've broken two on each hand, they'll go on to your toes," ee replied, trying to keep es tone light. Jilvray cradled es egg securely in es arms and held out both of es hands, fingers spread so Senesh could clearly see that the clawnails on the outer two fingers of both hands were distorted and had very little iridescence within them.

"I didn't know -- I mean, I know there was something wrong with some of your clawnails, but I didn't realize \--"

Jilvray cut em off with a wave of es hand. "No reason you should've known. I'm sure your Clan would never have done such a thing."

Senesh sat there in silence for a time. Then ee asked, "Are there many others here who've been kidnapped from different Clans?"

"Not too many. It's only when a triad really needs a new partner and there are no available Hilvesh adults that such a thing happens." Ee shrugged, trying to pass it off as a natural occurrence. "Hilvesh keeps to itself more than most Clans do, with very little trade or visiting permitted. They don't even host Choosings. And you know how the Clans are about interfering in each other's business. Nevertheless, if too many people disappeared, the neighboring Clans would start to wonder what was going on. One person now and then isn't likely to be noticed. Often enough, someone goes fish hunting and never returns. Everyone just assumes they've been eaten by krales or something."

"No one gets away to tell about it?"

"No one I know of." _But I tried, little one_ , ee thought to emself. _Harder and longer than you probably will._

"I won't stay here. I'd rather die."

Jilvray closed es eyes, glad Senesh was still facing away from em so ee wouldn't see the pain ee knew must show on es face. Once again, ee forced emself to sound casual. "That's what I said, at first. But life goes on and you get used to it. Eddam isn't so bad, after you learn how to keep from making em angry. And once you have a child, you won't be so willing to try to escape."

"I won't stay!" Senesh bent forward, and Jilvray knew ee had to be working at the tough leather that bound es ankles.

"You can't undo those knots, shaiya. Don't waste your energy. The Elders take the hobble off with a special substance that dissolves the leather, when they think you can be trusted not to run anymore."

Senesh looked around. "I take it they trust you, since you're not tied."

Jilvray flinched at the scorn in es young partner's voice. Deliberately, ee lifted es right foot and painfully attempted to stretch es toes to their full length. The webbed toes that should have unfolded into a broad swimming surface would barely even straighten out completely, twisted and cramped by the misshapen toes on the outside edge. "I'm not going anywhere like this. A hobble isn't necessary for someone who can just about walk."

Senesh said nothing, but ee came over to sit next to Jilvray. Looking down at the incubating egg the other scharn held in the crook of es arm.

"Shall I hold the egg for a while?" Senesh offered tentatively.

"Of course. After all, you are the Third Parent." Jilvray didn't know whether ee should be surprised or not, but ee handed the egg over to the young scharn.

Senesh straightened the ragged jophet fur, tucking the edges closer around the egg. The tan shell was tough and leathery now, but it had to be kept warm.

Senesh's eyes darted down to Jilvray's crippled foot, and ee looked away.

"They broke your toes?" ee asked at last.

Jilvray nodded.

"I --I thought it was some kind of an accident."

Jilvray snorted. "Not hardly."

Senesh didn't seem to know what to say about that.

Jilvray shrugged. "Even if I did manage to escape, I'd be of no use to anyone like this. I can't swim well enough to hunt fish. I can't take my turn on lookout duty at night. I can hardly walk. I'm surprised I haven't been caught by a grishmaul long ago." There was no trace of self-pity in es voice, only resignation. They'd broken es spirit along with es toes, or at least ee'd always told emself they had. "And by the time my toes healed, Arlysh was carrying a fertilized egg and I would have been Second Parent. How could I run again, knowing the child would die if I did?"

Ee cuddled es egg closer in es arms, hoping Senesh would understand the meaning behind what ee had just said. The triad had to be complete when es egg hatched.

"You could have left the hatchling to Eddam and Arlysh. A hatchling can sometimes survive with only two Parents," Senesh pointed out.

"Eddam doesn't like children. Ee even refused to help nurse es own hatchling once."

"But -- how could ee -- that's awful -- I mean --"

Jilvray tried not to hear the disgust in Senesh's voice. Ee raked es long clawnails through es dingy brown mane, trying to comb out some of the tangles. Ee must look even worse than usual, after the bearing. Senesh mustn't think ee didn't at least try to keep emself well-groomed.

Ee hit a snarl and began to work at pulling it apart, but es fingers trembled and es voice shook as ee said, "Eddam's hatchling died before it was Named. Arlysh and es hatchling died when a pack of herndslish raided the Clan, but by then I was carrying my own egg. Don't you understand, shaiya? I need you, or I lose this child also. I don't think I could stand that."

Jilvray's fingers were by now hopelessly entwined in the thick fur of es mane. Ee turned away from Senesh, knowing ee'd said too much already.

"Here, let me work on that tangle," the younger scharn said gently, moving closer. "You just rest."

Jilvray complied, luxuriating in the rare feeling of having someone fuss over em. Without having to be asked, Senesh even brought em a drink of fresh water and a piece of starflower fruit. As ee bit into the tough white rind and let the tart juice run down es throat, Jilvray decided ee could easily get to like this sort of attention.

The days lengthened into tendays, and Senesh said nothing more about escaping, even though Eddam dragged em into the water and forced em to submit whenever ee felt like it. Each time Jilvray saw it happening, ee couldn't help being glad that it was Senesh that Eddam had chosen and not em. And each time, ee felt ashamed of that thought. But there was nothing ee could do. Just to make things worse, the Senior would never let Senesh take em in return, as was proper. Even so, Senesh never asked Jilvray to help em relieve es arousal and frustration, since ee knew Jilvray wouldn't leave their egg alone with Eddam.

Instead, Senesh did whatever Eddam told em to do quietly and without comment, behaving as was proper for the low-Junior in a triad. Ee spoke respectfully to other members of the Clan when ee had to. While ee was careful to make no enemies, ee made no effort to make any friends either.

This pleased Jilvray, who had always had as little as possible to do with the rest of the Hilvesh scharns emself. But every so often Jilvray caught Senesh staring out to sea with a faraway look in es eyes, and on clear nights, ee'd sit studying the thickly clustered stars twinkling overhead.

"What are you looking at?" Jilvray asked one night, trying to distract em from es solitary thoughts.

The youngster pointed at a bright group of stars, low on the horizon. "In my Clan, we call that the Shell. Jegar. That's where our Clan name comes from."

It didn't look much like a shell to Jilvray, but every Clan had their own names for the designs they saw in the night sky and some made even less sense than that. Ee shrugged, sorry now ee'd asked. Senesh was thinking of es home.

Next morning, the youngster had run away again.

Although ee got a little further this time than ee had the last, ee had been going in the right direction when they caught up with em. True to es promise, Eddam called es low-Junior down before the Elders. Jilvray watched in silence while the Clan's Chief Elder broke the outmost clawnail on one of the youngster's hands, tearing it back far enough to rip through the sensitive nerve endings. Jilvray winced, remembering anew how it had felt: the burning agony running from fingertips to elbow, the terrifying sensation deep inside the mind, like having a grishmaul's cruel claws tear a chunk out of your very self.

Senesh didn't utter a sound while they were torturing em, but late that night ee crawled over to Jilvray and cried in es arms, quietly, so as not to wake their Senior.

"You see, they're not going to let you get away. Hilvesh can't take a chance the other Clans might find out what they've been doing," Jilvray whispered, stroking em gently and allowing es clawnails to brush casually along Senesh's skin, even though it meant ee would have to feel an echo of the awful pain that was the other scharn's maimed hand. "You'll stay now?"

Senesh burrowed closer into es partner's arms. "No," ee murmured in angry defiance. Although es Inner Shell was closed, the emotions leaking out around the edges backed up es words.

Jilvray stroked es mane and kissed the soft fur on es forehead. "You'll pretend to stay then. Or they'll hurt you worse."

"I'll pretend," came the muffled response. "For now."

Jilvray had to be satisfied with that.

By the time Senesh's clawnail had healed, the Warm Season was drawing to a close. The egg was halfway through its incubation period of two Hands of tendays. Life was good for Jilvray, with Senesh around. There was someone else to take the brunt of Eddam's sexual demands, and another pair of hands to gather food and help with the work. Amongst other things, Senesh turned out to be an excellent weaver. Es baskets and grass mats were much in demand, since they reflected an attention to detail and design not often seen in Clan Hilvesh.

Senesh's clawnail healed better than Jilvray's had. Ee found ee could make mental contacts almost as clearly as before, without the distortion Jilvray experienced with the worst of es own badly deformed claws. But then, the first time they had broken Jilvray's claw, they hadn't really done too much damage either. The Chief Elder had been quite angry by the time ee'd gotten to Jilvray's other hand. Ee hadn't been as careful.

Then came the day when Eddam noticed Senesh was going into es first shirren.

The youngster had been acting strange all morning, saying little and keeping away from es partners. Ee sat in the sunshine outside their hut, head bent over a basket ee was weaving out of roughbark needles. Jilvray's egg lay beside em, half buried in the sun-warmed sand.

Eddam had speared a large cranid that morning so Jilvray sat cleaning the scales off the fish, then sliced the succulent flesh into strips and wrapped them in long gingo leaves for midday meal. The smell of raw fish combined with the pungent spiciness of the leaves wafted invitingly to es nostrils, reminding em of how hungry ee was.

Eddam sat waiting for Jilvray to finish preparing the fish, absently swinging one end of es sash between es fingers. The Senior's insignia on the end of that sash consisted of the same squat "X" on Jilvray's sash, with the addition of a vertical line down the center, forming a vaguely starlike design. It caught Jilvray's eye, tempting em into a wistful daydream.

If anything happened to Eddam, Jilvray would automatically become triad Senior, with Senesh as es high-Junior. Then they would be free of Eddam's domination. They could be happy \--

The pleasant thought was broken off when Eddam demanded impatiently, "Isn't that fish ready yet? I'm starved."

Silently, Jilvray brought the choicest pieces over to es Senior, then gave some of the others to Senesh.

The youngster waved em away, mumbling, "I don't feel like eating right now."

"But you didn't have anything this morning either, shaiya. Come on. How often do we have fresh cranid, after all?"

Senesh just shook es head.

Eddam set down es meal and came over to es two Juniors. Senesh shrank back against the thornbush behind em, looking miserable. "Not hungry, eh?" Eddam asked softly. "Maybe feeling a bit sick to your stomach too?"

Senesh shook es head but said nothing as the Senior knelt down next to em and pushed the half-finished basket off es lap. Eddam placed one hand against es partner's abdomen, fingers spread and clawnails reaching roughly under the fur. Es eyes unfocussed for a moment and then ee gave a short laugh. "Just as I figured. You're going into shirren."

"No," Senesh moaned softly.

Eddam sat back on es heels. "Oh yes. I can tell."

"But -- but Jilvray's egg -- I mean, I wouldn't go into shirren while the triad has an egg to hatch, would I?"

"Usually not, but first shirren can be very unpredictable." Eddam smiled cruelly and reached out to stroke Senesh's shoulder. "This will be fun. You're not going to be so reluctant to go in the water with me now."

Senesh tried to turn away from es Senior. "Oh, no, please. I don't want to carry an egg."

Eddam grabbed a handful of the young scharn's mane and forced es face around. "Not interested yet, huh? Well, I can wait. By this time tomorrow, you'll be begging me for it."

Eddam released es Junior and got to es feet. Senesh clutched es knees to es chest and began crying.

"I'd rather go eat with some of my friends than listen to all this sniveling," Eddam said. Scooping up Jilvray's carefully wrapped fish strips, the Senior strode disdainfully away.

Jilvray went over to crouch beside Senesh. Putting an arm around es shoulder, ee held the youngster, rocking em and trying to console em.

Suddenly, Senesh pulled away. Ee rose to es feet, turning decisively towards the forest behind the low dunes of the Clan's beach. Jilvray limped after em, certain of es partner's intentions.

"You can't try to run away now," ee said, as ee grabbed Senesh's shoulders. "Eddam will be expecting it. Ee and es friends will be waiting for you."

"But I don't want to carry an egg. Ee'll force me," Senesh protested. Ee shuddered, placing one hand low on es groin, as if for protection; a protection that would prove all too futile against es Senior.

Jilvray placed es own hand over Senesh's, suddenly shy. Despite es damaged clawnails, ee could vaguely sense the newly released egg, ready to be fertilized. Senesh reacted to the touch with a sharp intake of breath, already under the influence of the hormones es body had begun to produce. Once ee was in full shirren, ee'd be virtually incapable of refusing sex, despite all es wishes to the contrary.

Not that Eddam would allow em the chance to refuse, anyway.

Jilvray slid es hand down lower, reaching through es fur. The youngster's penis was already beginning to swell.

"Come in the water with me," Jilvray invited.

"No."

But Jilvray could hear the hesitation in es voice. They were partners, after all. Senesh would be focused on em and wouldn't be able to resist for long. The youngster must know that.

Jilvray changed es approach. "Look," ee said, "never do what they expect you to do. Eddam knows you're in shirren, so ee'll expect you to run away again. You'll never make it." Angered, Senesh tried to draw back, but Jilvray took hold of es shoulder. "Instead, you've got to make em think you've accepted the situation. Then, if you must try to escape again, do it after you're out of shirren."

"But I don't want to carry Eddam's child."

Jilvray nodded, smiling conspiratorially. "Of course you don't. Come in the water with me right now. Then there'll be a very good chance I'll be Second Parent, not Eddam."

Senesh's eyes held rebellion, but es resolve was weakening. "Ee'll be angry."

Jilvray shrugged. "Eddam is off with es friends. If we're careful, ee won't see us. Besides, ee doesn't really care who's Second Parent, as long as ee gets to have es fun while you're in shirren. Later on, you can escape and find someone else to be Third Parent before you expel the egg. I'll even help you get away. I wouldn't want our hatchling to be raised here."

Slowly, unwillingly, Senesh nodded es acquiescence.

Carefully wrapping es egg in its worn jophet fur, Jilvray placed it inside their hut underneath a pile of sleeping mats.

"There. If Eddam comes back, ee'll think you and I went off somewhere, taking the egg with us. Now, follow me."

Jilvray led the young scharn off in the direction of the forest, then followed the treeline until they were beyond the other huts. Es crippled foot hurt badly, but ee continued to limp as quickly as ee could while they made their way between the dunes and toward the water. Stooping down on the far side of the dune close to the shoreline, ee turned to Senesh.

"Shaiya, take my arm and help me while we run across the sand to the ocean. We're far enough away that no one will notice."

"What if someone sees us?"

"They won't be able to tell who we are, even if they do. And they won't care anyway. As far as they can tell, we might just be going fish-hunting." Ee grabbed Senesh's arm. "Let's go."

They made a run for it, racing into the water, diving into the waves, and swimming a bit further from Hilvesh as they went. As they swam, Jilvray reached over and took hold of Senesh's hand. Touching their clawnails together, ee tried es best to project es love and care for the youngster as they swam. Reaching back into es memories, ee made a deliberate effort to open es Inner Shell enough to send es desire to give pleasure to the other scharn, but ee wasn't sure if ee was getting through.

When they got far enough from shore but not yet into the dangerous depths where the predators lurked, Jilvray rolled over onto es back, floating and catching es breath after their flight into the water. Hesitantly, Senesh turned over also, floating alongside the older scharn, their fingers still entwined. A few tentative tendrils of hope seeped slowly from Senesh's side of the tenuous contact.

Jilvray let go of Senesh's hand, then reached one arm under the water and around Senesh's waist, pulling em closer beside em. Senesh did the same, locking them together as they floated on the waves. High above them, puffy white clouds drifted across the sky, while the two scharns drifted in the water.

Jilvray turned toward es partner, stroking the wet fur along Senesh's body with es free hand. Senesh shivered at the touch of the other scharn's hand.

"That feels nice," ee murmured.

"It's going to feel much better, in a little while, shaiya. Everything feels nice when you're in shirren. If you have a decent partner," ee added.

Tentatively, Senesh reached over and ran es clawnails down Jilvray's arm.

For a while, they stayed that way, combing each other's fur with the tips of their clawnails. Jilvray could feel es body awakening to a desire ee hadn't felt since ee'd been brought to Hilvesh. It brought back long dead memories of es own beloved partners. Ee choked back the tears that came to es eyes.

_Time to get on with this_ , ee reminded emself. _Before Eddam notices our absence._

This time, es hand traced a path that ended between Senesh's legs. Carefully, es fingers passed over and then behind the young scharn's slightly extended organ. Reaching further back, ee ran es hand over the protective lips over Senesh's slit. Ee caressed them with es palm, pressing just enough to make it feel good, but not enough to hurt.

Senesh gasped at the sensations running through es body, unaccustomed to the fierce intensity of shirren. As Jilvray continued to coax the tough lips to relax and open, Senesh's eyes unfocussed and es entire body went limp.

"Turn around," Jilvray whispered, as soon as es fingertips could feel that Senesh was ready.

As soon as Senesh's back was pressed hard against em, Jilvray wrapped both arms around the other scharn's waist.

"Hold my hands, shaiya. Make contact with our clawnails and open your Inner Shell. Then you'll find out how truly intense sex can be in shirren."

As their fingers intertwined and their clawnails touched once again, Jilvray opened es Shell as best ee could, allowing the full force of shirren to flow between them. An intense driving desire filled both their minds. There was nothing in the entire universe but the longing to join one with the other. They couldn't stop now, not even if a hungry krale attacked them.

Jilvray's organ slipped easily into Senesh's slit. The young scharn pushed es hips backwards, taking it deep inside em. Jilvray thrust forward until the tip pressed against the inner sphincter. Senesh's entire body quivered in short fast spasms, which would open es sphincter just the tiniest bit, as Jilvray pumped the fluid that would bathe Senesh's ripe egg, and perhaps bring it to life. Driven by an instinct far too powerful to control, Jilvray emptied emself so hard and fast that it almost hurt. As if they felt each other's response, the ecstasy built on itself. When it was done, without conscious thought, they reversed position, Senesh's organ penetrating Jilvray, and es own fluid flowed into es partner. With their clawnails intertwined, they both felt it as if they were but one creature, with the throbbing intensity of shirren filling both their minds.

Slowly, it faded away. They let go of each other, just floating on the waves, each alone inside emself once again.

"I never thought anything could feel that intense," Senesh said after a little while.

"That's what it's like," Jilvray replied, "if it's done properly, between partners who trust and care for each other. In fact, even when you're not in shirren, ordinary sex can be quite pleasurable."

"Not the way Eddam does it," Senesh said sourly.

"Like most of the other Hilvesh Seniors, ee's too selfish to bother." Ee hesitated for a moment, then went on. "Just as shirren intensifies the pleasure, it can also make things feel much worse. You'll find out soon enough, when Eddam takes you into the water. When ee opens es Shell, all you'll get from em is es desire to take you and suck all the pleasure you may feel into es own mind and body. Ee gives nothing in return, and ee won't let you fill em in return. Ee'll just stop when ee's done, leaving you devastated, frustrated, and hurting."

Senesh frowned. "But why does ee do that?"

Jilvray snorted. "Ee thinks by doing that there's less chance that your egg will be fertilized. Ee doesn't really want a hatchling."

"Does it work?"

"Sometimes. But not always. It isn't just Eddam. Don't forget, any Hilvesh Senior is allowed to choose what ee does to es Juniors, shirren or otherwise." Jilvray glanced around at the beach. "Come on shaiya. We'd better get back before our absence is noticed."

It was a long and painful trek through the forest for Jilvray, but inside es heart, ee was hopeful. Now if only that was enough to fertilize Senesh's egg, things might yet work out well for em.

Although Eddam took advantage of the youngster's hypersexual state for the remaining days of es shirren, in the end it was Jilvray who could clearly sense the new life developing inside the young scharn's body. That meant ee was Second Parent. Es ruse had been successful. Senesh would feel different about things now. Maybe ee'd stop trying to run away.

Jilvray hummed a cheerful tune under es breath as ee folded the leftover fish and blood-red pimen roots from the evening meal into several large leaves, tucking them away in a corner. Things were going well.

Senesh lifted Jilvray's egg out of its resting place in a hollow of warm sand and put it in es lap, drawing its worn fur blanket over it for protection against the coming chill of night. Eddam stalked off to take part in a gambling game with some of es friends, leaving es two Juniors alone.

The sun sank down towards the trees, leaving the quiet expanse of beach at the mercy of a chill breeze blowing steadily off the ocean. Tall spikes of grass with their empty seed pods rustled gently on the dunes in front of the hut, adding a soft harmony to the constant chorus of waves lapping on the shore.

When ee had finished with es task, Jilvray sat down next to Senesh, tenderly stroking the egg nestled between es partner's crossed legs. The shell was thinner and becoming brittle. Not many more tendays and it would hatch. Ee thought of how pleasant it would be to have a hatchling to love and care for.

Senesh spoiled es tender thoughts with a few words.

"I'm still going to leave."

Jilvray looked at em with horror. "But you can't. You're carrying an egg."

Senesh smiled. "Exactly. Everyone will think I've given up on escaping for that very reason, just as you said."

"But think of the hatchling, and what they'll do when they catch you and bring you back."

The young scharn twisted es mouth into an expression of disdain. "They'll break another clawnail. But they'll have to catch me first."

"I thought you'd get over this foolishness once you were carrying," Jilvray objected.

Senesh scowled and shook es head. "I'm going to leave. Nobody and nothing is going to stop me."

"You can't, shaiya. Please, I want you to stay. I --" ee was on the verge of telling es partner just how much ee had begun to care for em, then thought better of it. Senesh surely knew by now, from the feelings that often leaked out during their casual contacts. The young scharn wanted only one thing — es freedom. Nothing else mattered to em, not the egg ee was carrying, and certainly not Jilvray's own soon-to-be-hatched child. Desperately, ee tried another approach.

"Eddam isn't young anymore. Soon es clawnails will turn white and ee'll have to leave our triad to join the Elders. Or maybe ee won't even live that long. Lots of scharns don't. If anything happens to Eddam, I'll be Senior. We could have a good life together, shaiya." The words came in a rush, unconsidered but sincere. Jilvray knew ee'd say anything to convince Senesh to stay with em -- even lie, if necessary.

Senesh shook es head. "I care for you, Jilvray, I really do. But do you honestly think we could have a good life here?" ee asked bitterly, waving es hand in a gesture that took in all of Hilvesh.

"They aren't all that bad," Jilvray protested. "Life's never easy anywhere, and they follow their own customs --"

"Customs?" Senesh snorted. "They haven't any notion of proper behavior or standards! Have you been so long amongst these people that you've forgotten what common decency is like?"

Jilvray recoiled from the young scharn's indignation. All right then, if persuasion wouldn't work, ee would just have to tell Eddam that Senesh still planned to escape. With the Senior watching em closely, the youngster wouldn't get an opportunity to try to leave. Of course, Senesh would never trust em again if ee did that, but it would be worth it to keep es low-Junior here, to give es child a chance to live.

Jilvray reached over and took the other scharn's face between es hands, studying the delicate features and tear-filled yellow eyes. Unexpectedly, Senesh placed es own hand over one of Jilvray's in an affectionate gesture. Their clawnails touched.

Jilvray quickly submerged es thoughts of informing on the youngster, deliberately muddying their tentative contact by intensifying the distortion produced by es deformed clawnails as ee made sure es Inner Shell was securely closed. But ee couldn't help picking up Senesh's growing sense of hopelessness, since the other hadn't bothered to close em out this time. Senesh would try once, maybe twice, more to get away, Jilvray judged, then sink down into despair and apathy. As ee emself had done, in the end. Senesh would learn to accept es lot, because ee could do nothing about it.

The idea of es young partner becoming the same sort of ruined cripple ee had become was just too much for Jilvray to bear. Suddenly ee knew ee couldn't betray Senesh to Eddam, no matter what es reasons. And ee was profoundly ashamed ee had even considered such a thing. Maybe Senesh was right. Maybe ee had been here so long ee had forgotten how things should be.

"I'm going, Jilvray. I must. I'm sorry," Senesh whispered softly.

The youngster still had hope. Although Jilvray's own hope had died long ago, ee couldn't bring emself to destroy it in someone else. Ee thought back over the ways ee'd tried to convince Senesh to accept es fate, and felt sick at heart. Could ee actually have sunk that low? Ee shook es head, letting es hands fall helplessly to es sides.

It was no use. Ee could have Senesh as a despondent and broken-spirited wreck like emself, or ee could let em go.

Or perhaps, if ee still had a little courage left, ee could do even better than that. Ee trembled at the thought, and yet --

"I'll tell you how you can get away," Jilvray said with sudden decision. "I'll help you."

Senesh's eyes widened with surprise. "You'd do that?"

Jilvray nodded, trying not to think about the inevitable consequences of es decision.

"We'll both go," Senesh suggested.

"No. I can't run fast enough, and I can barely swim. I would just hold you back. It's too late for me. But you can make it, if you'll be patient and do as I say."

"Tell me what I should do," Senesh replied.

"For now, you'll lie down and get a good sleep. Forget about running away at night. The darkness slows you down and makes it easy to get lost, whether you're in the water or on the land. And it's dangerous, with grishmauls and packs of herndslish prowling around. You'll go in the middle of the day. By the time anyone misses you, it'll be getting dark. They'll be afraid to search very far." Ee grinned. "Remember, never do what they expect you to do."

Senesh gestured disgustedly at es bound feet. "But how --"

"Trust me, shaiya. While my broken toes were healing, I had a lot of time to think over what I'd done wrong in trying to escape. Now come on, let's get some rest."

They curled up in each other's arms, with the egg between them. Jilvray lay awake for a long time that night, savoring the feel of Senesh's body warm against es own and knowing it would soon be gone. Ee hoped ee might be able to remember what it had felt like to hold someone ee loved, in the long and lonely years that were to come.

The next morning, Eddam's own shirren began. Eddam fought it off for the first few days, but finally ee could hold out no longer.

It was late in the afternoon when ee decided to act. Ee got to es feet and glared at es Juniors. "You two, come into the water with me. Right now."

Ee strode off at a rapid pace, leaving Senesh and Jilvray to follow em as quickly as possible. It wasn't very quickly, because Senesh insisted on helping Jilvray along.

Eddam was already far out into the water by the time es two Juniors dove into the waves and began swimming.

"This should be interesting," Senesh remarked. "Surely now we'll get our turn to take Eddam. Maybe ee'll end up carrying an egg emself for a change."

Jilvray shook es head. "Not very likely. And even if it were, would you really want em to carry your child, if you won't be around to help with the bearing?"

A frown crossed the young scharn's face. "I didn't think of that. You're right. I wouldn't like it at all."

"Don't worry. It probably won't happen. Shirren doesn't lead to a live egg, if the one in shirren refuses to allow es egg to be fertilized."

Senesh stopped swimming and stared at Jilvray. "You can't mean that! It's -- it's unheard of. It's perverse. It's --"

"Allowed for Hilvesh seniors," Jilvray interrupted. "Of course, not all of them do that."

"So ee'll use us both, but won't let us enter em?"

Jilvray nodded.

"Ee'd rather bear a dead egg," Senesh asked, "even though that's painful, and even dangerous?"

"Eddam has done it before, so why should it be any different this time? Not only that, but ee makes es Juniors help em through it. Ee deliberately projects es pain into us in order to make it easier for em."

"That's just -- just -- I don't even know a word for it. Disgusting isn't enough. It's disgraceful, selfish. I don't know what else to say."

"How about just plain cowardly?"

"Yes. That would fit also."

Jilvray took hold of Senesh's arm. "Come on. Eddam's waiting for us and ee won't be getting any happier if we delay."

As they got closer, Jilvray said softly, "Slow down, shaiya. Let me get there first so I can take the brunt of es lust. I'm used to it."

Senesh met es eyes and shook es head once, then speeded up, easily outdistancing the older scharn.

By the time Jilvray got there, Eddam had already grabbed es low-Junior and was thrusting hard into em. Senesh had es lips clamped tightly together, as if in pain, but ee said nothing.

As soon as the Senior released em, Senesh spun around to face Eddam. "Now it's my turn," the youngster said, es eyes narrowed in challenge.

"No, shiya!" Jilvray exclaimed.

Eddam just laughed. "Not now and not ever," was all ee said as ee pushed Senesh away.

Without the slightest hesitation, Jilvray turned around, offering es slit to Eddam.

Despite being used to such treatment, it was still very unpleasant, especially so because the heavy weight of es developing egg only added to the pressure within es body. But ee knew better than to struggle. That would only make it worse.

As soon as Eddam was done, ee let go of Jilvray and headed for shore, leaving es two Juniors with the advice to "Go ahead and work off your frustrations on each other, if you want to. I'm through with you both -- until next time."

Senesh stared at Eddam as ee left them to their own devices. "If I didn't hate em enough before," ee muttered, "I hate em even more now." Then ee turned to Jilvray. "What do you say, shaiya? Shall we do what ee told us to? Or not?"

Jilvray hadn't expected that, but es own organ was extended and aching for release. "If you feel up to it, yes," ee replied. "You go first. It will make you feel better."

Senesh didn't have to be asked twice. Ee was more than ready. Jilvray turned and Senesh wrapped es arms around es waist. Their clawnails touched. Both scharns opened their Inner shells and made contact. As Senesh's organ penetrated Jilvray's slit, their already deep contact dropped dizzily to an even deeper level. Love and caring overflowed into each other's consciousness, cheerfully given and ecstatically received, reverberating between them as if they were long-established partners, the feelings pulsating back and forth in time with the slow pulsing of the fluid being received into es body.

For a brief few moments, they were one.

Then it was over, as abruptly as it began. They separated.

Senesh's golden eyes practically glowed with delight. Instantly, ee turned and offered emself to Jilvray.

And it happened all over again.

So it went, until Eddam was out of shirren. Nearly a tenday later, Eddam expelled the dead egg, relieving es own pain by passing it on to es Juniors, just as Jilvray had said ee would. Jilvray's last ray of hope died after that. If only Eddam hadn't been able to expel the egg successfully, ee might have died in agony and left es two Juniors on their own. But that was not to be.

Several days later, Jilvray approached the section of beach belonging to Hilvesh's Elders, es knees so weak with fright ee could barely manage es usual slow and shuffling gait. Ee carried a colorful grass mat neatly folded over one arm. As ee got closer, ee glanced back over es shoulder. Ee was sure all five of the Clan Elders were busy elsewhere -- ee'd seen them go off earlier -- but one couldn't be too careful.

Ee scuttled through one of the many gaps in the clumps of beach grass marking the Elders' territory, hoping no one would see em entering these sacrosanct premises. Ducking inside the large hut, ee knelt and sorted swiftly through the collection of shells, skins, and other ritual objects against the far wall, searching for one particular shell ee remembered very clearly, the one holding the corrosive liquid that would dissolve Senesh's ankle bindings. Ee found it, looked around quickly, and poured a tiny portion into a snail shell ee'd brought with em, stoppering it with a plug of seaweed.

Ee had just returned the shell to its original place when the Chief Elder's voice interrupted em, demanding sternly, "What are you doing here?"

Jilvray jumped back as if ee'd been skewered with a fishing spear.

"Nothing, Respected One. I was just — just admiring this fine fur." Ee patted a large gray carodar fur that lay nearby, stroking its deep softness. The snail shell with its precious fluid nestled in the palm of es other hand, invisible.

Then, as if recalling es true errand, ee held out the woven mat ee had brought. "My triad offers this as a gift to the Elders," ee said, eyes properly averted. "I didn't want to leave it outside, for fear something might happen to it."

The Elder took the mat and unfolded it, still eyeing Jilvray with suspicion. In the center of the mat, the shape of a krale glittered in the shadowy darkness of the hut, worked in multi-hued threads painstakingly collected and spun from morgrave webs. The mat had taken Senesh almost an entire tenday to complete, even with Jilvray's help.

An appreciative smile crinkled the age-darkened fur of the old scharn's face. "Very fine work, and a lovely rendition of our Clan symbol. Did you make this?"

"No, Elder. It's the work of the low-Junior of our triad. Ee's very talented."

"Ee must be, to do this," the old scharn said, nodding. "Tell your Senior the Elders are pleased to accept this gift. It does your triad much honor."

"Thank you, Respected One. Thank you."

Jilvray limped away as quickly as ee could.

For the next few days, ee watched the weather, looking for signs of a rainy spell to come. A tenday passed, and Senesh grew restless. Jilvray had to show em the shell of stolen liquid in order to convince em to wait until the time was right.

Finally came a night when long wisps of cloud drifted across the sky, like the feather-weed that drifts on the sea after a storm. The morning dawned gray, with small clouds resembling fishscales. Before this time tomorrow, there would be a heavy rain.

"Weave me one of your fancy baskets," ee told Senesh, as the sun rose higher in the overcast sky. "Don't finish it, but be sure to use up your entire supply of roughbark needles, even if you have to throw some of them away."

Senesh frowned, but did as ee was told. Before the sun was halfway to the zenith, the young scharn had produced the bottom section of a large open-work basket of green roughbark needles alternating with brown rushes.

Setting es egg in a sheltered patch of thin sunlight just inside the hut, Jilvray rose to es feet. "Now, come," ee said sadly to es young partner. Together, they plodded around the dunes and continued on into the forest.

When they'd reached the place where the roughbark trees grew in a dense thicket of tangled, trailing needles, Jilvray knelt and poured a few drops of the stolen fluid on the leather thong that bound Senesh's ankles. As the leather dissolved, ee added more of the liquid, until they could tug the heavy band loose.

"I'll bury this and go back to the beach," Jilvray said, unable to look at Senesh. "You go straight into the forest, not off to either side."

"But you said Jegar was that way," ee objected, pointing to one side.

"And so it is. But the land is narrow here. Go the way I told you, and you'll come to water before nightfall. Swim straight out at first, then toward the left, and you'll eventually reach the mainland. Somewhere there you should be able to find your Clan. It's a long way," ee added, even now hoping Senesh would have second thoughts.

The youngster nodded es understanding of Jilvray's directions. "I'll come back for you," ee said unexpectedly.

Jilvray shook es head, letting es mane fall around es face to cover the sorrow in es eyes. "That's not possible. You'd only get yourself captured again."

"No. When my Clan hears about what's happening here, they'll come with me."

"I doubt it, shaiya. I doubt it very much. Most Clans don't get involved in anything beyond the borders of their own territories," Jilvray pointed out. "And besides, what could Jegar possibly do to Hilvesh?"

"I -- can't just abandon you. You're Second Parent to my egg. It wouldn't be --"

Jilvray cut em off. "Go, Senesh. Forget about me. You'll find new partners."

"Come with me."

"We've been through that already. It wouldn't work."

With a muffled sob, Senesh threw es arms around Jilvray, hugging em tightly. Jilvray could sense the faint trace of potential life from the egg inside the young scharn's body. How very much ee longed to be with Senesh and raise that child! Ee felt es resolve weakening. Maybe it would be possible. Maybe ee should try to get away again, just this one last time.

Then ee remembered es own egg, lying in the sand back on the beach. Taking Senesh by the shoulders, ee pushed em away. "Listen, the only way you can ever come back to Hilvesh would be if you were to convince a number of Clans to band together and come back with you." Ee forced emself to laugh. "You see how impossible that is? They'd never agree to such a thing."

Senesh threw es head back proudly. "I'll go to the other Clans, then. They will hear of Hilvesh, and they will come."

Jilvray smiled softly at the brash confidence of youth. "I wasn't being serious. Such a thing has never happened before, and I don't believe it will happen now. But if it does \--"

"I know," Senesh interrupted with a smile. "Never do what they expect you to do. I'll remember."

"It pleases me you would want to come back for me," Jilvray admitted, tears burning beneath es eyelids.

Senesh seized the older scharn's hand. "I didn't say I wanted to. I said I would."

"As you wish, little one." Ee hadn't the heart to argue. Maybe if Senesh believed it, ee would leave quickly. This was becoming more difficult the longer they delayed.

Senesh took something out of the pouch hanging from es sash, placing it in Jilvray's hand. "I will return, s'yesha. You may depend upon it." Then ee was gone, and the roughbark needles swayed at es passage and were still.

_Ee called me s'yesha,_ Jilvray thought, looking after es lost hope _. Not just "triad partner," but "triad partner whom I love."_ Then ee looked at what Senesh had pressed into es hand. It was a pale yellow jingle shell, containing a multitude of incredibly tiny shells, fixed in a glue of hardened roughbark sap.

For a long time ee sat weeping silently, staring through es tears at the caring-shell. Ee hadn't seen such a thing in years. It was a token to be given only to someone very special to you. To a friend, it was a wish that the years you spend together would be as numerous as the tiny shells. To a partner in ordinary sex, it conveyed the wish for an equal number of future encounters. And to a triad partner, it was a hope that your children would be as numerous as the tiny shells contained in the hollow of the larger shell.

Jilvray returned to the beach and went about es usual tasks as if nothing had happened. When Eddam asked about Senesh's whereabouts, ee simply said the youngster had gone off to gather more roughbark needles, showing the half-finished basket as proof. By late afternoon, Eddam grew suspicious and went to search the surrounding forest. Not finding Senesh anywhere nearby, ee called together a band of es friends.

Jilvray watched them start out to catch the presumed runaway. Ee caught es breath, and hoped es trick had bought enough time for Senesh to be well on es way. If they brought em back --

As the sun set, the search party returned, angry, footsore, and empty-handed, swearing they'd catch em tomorrow for sure.

Jilvray lay inside the hut, curled around es egg and pretending to be asleep. Not much longer before the egg would hatch. But ee mustn't think about that now.

Eddam squatted down in front of em, scowling. "Give me your hands and open your Shell," ee commanded.

Jilvray scrambled quickly up into a sitting position, setting the egg aside, where ee hoped it would be out of the way of the Senior's wrath. "Why?"

"I think you know more about all this than you're saying. Tell me what it is. Or I'll force contact with you and get it directly from your mind. You won't like that."

"I've told you all I know. Senesh went to gather roughbark needles this morning. Ee never came back. That's it," Jilvray said, trying to sound positive and unconcerned. Ee had anticipated this, but wasn't sure ee'd be able to bluff es way through.

The short black fur on Eddam's forehead crinkled with annoyance. "The other Seniors are laughing at me over this, Jilvray. If you tell me now, and let me know which way ee went when ee reached the water, perhaps I can still bring em back. I know you liked em, and I must admit ee was quite skilled, for a Junior. We both want em, don't we?" Eddam coaxed. With a false smile, ee added es most powerful incentive. "Your hatchling will need another Parent if it's going to survive, you know."

"If Senesh ran away," Jilvray countered, "why would ee tell me where ee was going?"

"Ee knew enough to head across the peninsula this time. Ee must have learned from someone here. And ee wasn't hobbled, we could tell from es footprints. Where did ee go?"

"I told you, I don't know."

"Contact me, then, and I'll see if you're telling the truth," Eddam growled, grabbing Jilvray's hands roughly and holding them so that their clawnails touched.

As the Senior's mind groped for es own, Jilvray struggled to hold es Inner Shell closed. Eddam was strong; ee could force a Shell open if ee tried hard enough. Jilvray grimaced and attempted to pull away, but Eddam's fingers held em in an unbreakable grip even as ee pried at Jilvray's Shell with es mind.

Pain streaked through es claws and deep into es head as ee tried to resist Eddam's onslaught. Even as the Senior managed to pry es Shell open a fraction, Jilvray used the distortion produced by the torn and poorly healed nerves of es damaged clawnails to cloak es true feelings. Ee concentrated on es hatred for Eddam, hoping to throw em off the track. Despite the searing pain, ee struggled to increase es resistance to the forced contact, further intensifying the distortion caused by es claws. Eddam gritted es teeth and persisted as long as ee could, but ee stopped far short of getting Jilvray's Shell completely open.

"I'm not convinced you're innocent," ee said at last, dropping es Junior's hands in disgust, as if they were chunks of rotting fish.

Jilvray slumped to the ground, curling around the pain in es head. "I didn't do anything," ee lied, earnestly and without the least bit of compunction. Es breath came in ragged gasps as ee pressed es aching hands against es throbbing forehead.

Eddam grunted, turning away in annoyance. "You're going to be sorry for this, Junior," ee said grimly.

Despite es misery, Jilvray smiled. The Elders hadn't thought they were doing em a favor when they'd broken es claws, but perhaps they had. Eddam couldn't get the truth out of em that way, at least. Ee might have es suspicions, but ee couldn't prove anything.

"When we catch Senesh, ee'll tell us what happened," Eddam went on. "And you'll share in es punishment. You know that."

Jilvray knew that very well.

But ee didn't think they would catch Senesh, not this time.

As Eddam muttered a curse and laid emself down to sleep, Jilvray retrieved es egg and hugged it to es breast. The thought of Senesh somewhere out there in the night filled em with a fierce satisfaction, but little joy. The small life ee clutched against es body had probably been doomed by what ee'd done that day. But Senesh, and the child ee carried, might make it to safety.

Reaching into the small fishleather pouch that hung from es sash, ee ran es fingers over the caring-shell Senesh had given em, feeling the bumpy surface. Nothing in life was bought without a price, ee reflected forlornly. And sometimes that price was enough to break your heart into pieces as numerous as the tiny shells nestled in the hollow of the caring-shell.

It began to rain late that night, as Jilvray had known it would. By morning there was a steady downpour. It greatly hampered the efforts of the search party, rinsing away any remaining footprints and decreasing visibility over the water.

When they finally came back, empty-handed and foul-tempered, Jilvray knew es plan had worked.

The very next day, Eddam swaggered into their hut, followed by a young Hilvesh pre-adult named Lail. With a sinking heart, Jilvray saw that the youngster wore a sash with the single diagonal slash of a low-Junior on one end.

Eddam grinned. "Lail is going to be our new partner. Come into the water with us."

Jilvray looked at the youngster in dismay. Ee was solidly built and tall, taller in fact than Senesh had been. But --

"Senior, es claws aren't dark," Jilvray objected. "Ee's not even a full adult. Ee's not ready to join a triad yet, since ee's not fertile."

"Yes, I know," Eddam said. "But es Parents are willing to give em to us, and ee'll be mature soon enough."

Eddam smiled at es newest Junior. Lail returned the smile, looking all too much like Eddam for Jilvray's peace of mind.

"I don't think I'll have to worry about this Junior running away, with or without your assistance," Eddam stated smugly.

Except for the expression on Lail's face, Jilvray might almost have felt sorry for the youngster. Ee wasn't a full grown adult, and ee had been forced into a triad. To take a youngster whose claws hadn't darkened yet --

Ee shook es head. This was Hilvesh, not es birth Clan. Here, even children were often taken into the water, forced into sex well before their bodies could comfortably accept such a thing. The stronger ones soon learned to turn the resentment they felt for the adults into aggression against their weaker comrades. Jilvray had noticed only two types of children in Hilvesh: the bullied, and the bullies.

Lail was one of the bullies.

Having no other choice, Jilvray silently followed es partners into the water to consummate the completion of their triad. Eddam and Lail appeared to enjoy it very much.

Jilvray shivered in the damp wind, shaking emself fully awake. It was almost dawn and ee'd been up all night waiting, while es egg hatched with frustrating slowness. Ee hadn't expected the hatching for at least one more tenday, but such things sometimes happened earlier than expected.

Soon the sun would rise, and Eddam would wake up. Lail was still on lookout duty, standing on one of the dunes between the beach and the forest, watching for any nocturnal predators that might attack the Clan. Hilvesh was lucky. There weren't many herndslish or grishmauls in this area. If there had been, Jilvray might never have survived this long — es broken toes made it difficult for em to run to the safety of the water fast enough to escape from danger.

Jilvray lifted an edge of the covering fur and examined the egg cradled between es crossed legs, hoping it might have made further progress while ee had dozed off. Not trusting es eyesight in the early dawn, ee ran es hand over the brittle shell.

The cracks had widened. Even as ee touched it, the egg rocked and a small section fell out. With es clawnails gently against the shell, ee closed es eyes and tried to make contact through the barrier. The hatchling seemed well, but exhausted. This was taking too long.

Jilvray's claws practically itched with es desire to help the hatchling get out of its egg, but ee knew such a thing was strictly forbidden. Any hatchling that couldn't get out by itself wasn't strong enough to live long anyway.

Ee looked over es shoulder at Eddam, hearing em stir in es sleep. If Eddam woke up and saw that the poor little creature had barely enough strength to hatch --

Defying custom, Jilvray worked es claws into a crack in the shell, prying it gently apart. After all, it was so close. Who would know?

By the time Eddam yawned and stretched, Jilvray already had the hatchling wiped clean of the sticky fluid from the egg and wrapped in the worn jophet fur. Ee held it carefully in es arms, cradling its head with one hand so es clawnails made contact.

Until it could be trained to form an Inner Shell, a hatchling projected an incessant mental clamor. It wasn't easy for a Parent to avoid being overwhelmed. You had to keep your own Shell open far enough to provide the hatchling with the necessary sense of presence and assurance, but not so far open that you lost touch with yourself and reality. With the distortion from es broken claws, it took a lot of concentration for Jilvray to keep the right balance.

Ee was so intent on es hatchling ee hadn't noticed Lail returning from sentry duty. The young Junior squatted in front of em and pinched a small webbed foot sticking out from under the jophet fur. The hatchling squirmed weakly, but didn't cry. Pain flickered through the contact and Jilvray tried to spread es attention between the hatchling's feelings and the outside world. It was no wonder Parents in contact with hatchlings had such abstracted expressions on their faces.

Ee cuddled the tiny creature against es breast and glared at Lail.

"Senior, come look at this," Lail called. "Jilvray's precious egg finally hatched."

"Oh?" Eddam replied noncommittally.

Jilvray clutched es child tighter as the Senior approached. Ee closed es Shell a bit, knowing ee had to keep es mind on what was going on.

"Let's see it, Jilvray," Eddam said.

Unwillingly, Jilvray laid the hatchling in es lap and unwrapped its covering, keeping the clawnails of es other hand in contact so as not to withdraw from it completely. The sun was fully up now, and the hatchling's long, stark white fur showed up in sharp contrast to the brown jophet fur on which it lay. All scharns were born white and grew darker with age, but this one was a brighter white than usual. Its fur was still damp, but once it had dried fully, it would be soft and fluffy. Its eyes were tightly closed, as they would be for most of a tenday, but it turned its face towards where Jilvray's warmth had been, whimpering.

Eddam glanced over the hatchling negligently. "It's too small and it doesn't look very strong. I don't think it'll survive."

"I think it might," Jilvray contradicted flatly.

Eddam shook es head. "Give it to me. Let's get this over with."

Jilvray gathered the child once again in es arms, enjoying the way it snuggled against em. "What are you going to do?" ee asked suspiciously.

Eddam reached out to take the hatchling. "I'm going to give it to the sea. It can't survive with only one Parent to care for it."

"You could help. After all, it's your child too."

"I could, but I have better things to do than nurse weaklings like this. Besides, Lail's too young to help and two Parents aren't really enough to keep a hatchling alive." Ee shrugged. "Now, if Senesh had still been with us, I might have felt differently about the whole thing. Give the hatchling to me."

"No." It was a simple word, but Jilvray had never before dared to use it to es Senior.

"It will die anyway. Give it to me, and everything will be over quickly. You don't even have to watch."

Jilvray gave Eddam a murderous glare and clutched the hatchling tighter. "No," ee repeated.

"You'd rather see it starve to death slowly? I thought you cared about it," the older scharn pointed out, in an uncharacteristic attempt to reason with es high-Junior.

"I can try to raise it myself. I had lots of milk last time. Maybe I can manage alone." Even as ee said it, Jilvray knew how impossible it was. Eddam was right. One Parent couldn't possibly raise an infant. But ee couldn't surrender es child to death so easily.

"Enough. Give it to me."

Sudden anger flared through Jilvray. "Go drown yourself," ee replied fiercely.

No Hilvesh Senior could afford to ignore such blatant disobedience. Eddam hit em in the face with es open hand, letting es clawnails just graze the other scharn's cheek. Jilvray recoiled in shock, but as Eddam tried to take the hatchling from es arms, ee struck out at es Senior, opening a deep gash across es forearm with one of es still-sharp clawnails.

Eddam stared in disbelief at es own blood. Juniors simply did not strike Seniors. Ee stood up, grabbing es fishing spear. Deliberately, ee removed the sharp bone point and tossed it aside. Raising the slender rod above es head, ee brought it down hard across Jilvray's back.

Jilvray curled up with es face to the sand, keeping es hatchling underneath em and protecting it as best ee could with es own body as Eddam continued to thrash em.

When Eddam had finished, Lail grabbed Jilvray and turned em over.

The pain of es raw back hitting the sand forced a moan from Jilvray's lips. Ee rolled over on one side, looking quickly down at the hatchling in es arms. Its tiny clawed hands had closed desperately in es fur, and its mouth had found one of es nipples. Unsatisfied hunger screamed through the almost-closed mental link. Ee hugged es hatchling tighter.

Eddam, still breathing hard from es exertions, squatted down beside es rebellious Junior. "Keep the hatchling then, if that's what you want," ee said with dangerous mildness. "Watch it die a slow death. When you finally decide to put it out of its misery, don't expect Lail or me to do it for you. You can give this child to the sea yourself."

Lail looked rather crestfallen, until Eddam suggested they both go into the water for a while.

During the next few days, as Jilvray struggled to keep es child alive, ee realized the true cruelty of Eddam's apparent "mercy." Normally, it took three scharns to provide sufficient milk for a hatchling, although two might manage under favorable circumstances. But that wasn't the worst of it. In addition to physical nourishment, a hatchling required constant mental contact with one of its Parents. Such a thing was simply too exhausting for one scharn to manage alone, but without other Parents willing to take turns holding the hatchling, Jilvray had little choice. Denied close contact during its first few tendays of precarious life, a hatchling would simply give up and die, usually long before it starved to death.

Jilvray kept it up as best ee could, but after several days, ee was utterly worn out. The effort of constantly keeping es Shell open, but not too far open, was much harder than ee had imagined, and the inevitable distortion from es deformed clawnails didn't make things any easier. If ee laid the hatchling down on the sand, even for a moment, it screamed and cried until ee just couldn't stand it. If ee'd been able to leave it with a friend for a while, things wouldn't have been so bad. But that was impossible, even if Jilvray had a friend ee could trust. No hatchling would tolerate being held by someone other than one of its true Parents until it was at least two tendays old. Hatchlings had been known to go into shock and die if left with a stranger.

Jilvray's breasts, normally small and all but invisible beneath es fur, filled with milk until they were swollen and sore, but it was never enough, and never could be. Es nipples cracked and bled from nursing too often, but the child was always hungry and irritable even so.

If Senesh had been there, things might have been different. Ee could have held contact with the hatchling. As Third Parent, it would have recognized em. Ee would have been able to nurse it also.

Jilvray wouldn't allow emself to think about that. Ee wouldn't allow emself to think about anything, except how very much ee wanted es hatchling to live.

Life became a haze of misery as ee struggled through es daily tasks with only half es mind, the other half constantly involved with the hatchling ee kept securely tied to es chest in a sling ee'd made from a few odd bits of fishleather ee had scrounged. Ee was forced to withdraw from the contact as far as ee could for long periods of time, simply in order to function, but that left the hatchling fretful and dissatisfied.

After a tenday of bleary exhaustion, Jilvray pulled emself out of a deep sleep one morning to find es child's eyes open. Deep blue they were, like the open ocean on a bright sunny day. In the tiny, white-furred face, they seemed enormous.

Jilvray's heart overflowed with joy. Once its eyes opened, a child was a true person, not just an anonymous hatchling. Surely Eddam would feel differently about it now.

Ee scrambled onto es knees, hardly able to contain emself long enough to wait for es Senior to return from sentry duty. Noticing through their contact that the hatchling had to urinate, ee took em down to the water and held em half-immersed in the waves. The edge of an early morning rain shower drifted past, splattering them with droplets. In the thin pre-dawn light, Jilvray looked at es child and was dismayed.

Why hadn't ee noticed how scrawny it was getting? Where was the nice layer of fat it should be putting on? Ee could easily feel its ribs outlined beneath es fingers. And when ee lifted it out of the water, its long fur clung to its lower body, revealing pathetically thin legs.

_Well, never mind that_ , ee told emself resolutely. _At least es eyes are open._

Seeing Eddam returning from the high dunes behind the beach, Jilvray limped slowly back to their hut.

"Senior," ee said, struggling to keep es attention split between the hatchling and the outside world, "es eyes are open. You've got to take our child to the Elders to be Named."

Eddam hung es sentry's whistle on a branch of the thornbush next to the hut and then flopped down on es woven sleeping mat. "Named? That half-dead thing? You're kidding."

"No, Senior. Look. Es eyes are the same color as yours." Jilvray gently turned the hatchling's head away from es chest. Perhaps seeing es own eyes looking out at em from that tiny face would change Eddam's mind. "Ee needs a name."

Eddam laughed. "I wouldn't waste the Elders' time, seeing it won't live much longer." Ee stretched out on es side. "Now stop bothering me. I've been up half the night and I want to get some sleep."

"Senior --"

"I'm not taking it to the Elders. That's final." Eddam's eyes narrowed. "I'm not going to put up with this nonsense much longer, Jilvray. All you do is stagger around here half asleep, not doing anything properly anymore. I'm getting pretty sick of it."

Jilvray hugged the hatchling protectively against es chest. "You said you wouldn't harm the child. You said I could try to raise em."

"I didn't expect the miserable creature to live this long! You've been no good for anything since it hatched. I can't even take you in the water, with that hatchling always in your arms."

_Good!_ thought Jilvray. Then ee decided ee didn't like the direction this conversation was taking.

"I'll do better, Senior. I promise." Ee struggled to es feet. Best not to antagonize Eddam when ee was in such a mood.

"Hey, Jilvray," Lail jeered, as the other scharn limped away. "The defenders could sure use that hatchling on the sentry line at night. We could throw it to a grishmaul, to delay it long enough for the rest of us to reach the water. That's about all the little runt is good for, anyway."

Ignoring Lail's mockery, Jilvray went to sit at the water's edge, letting the waves wash up around es feet. The sun heaved itself slowly over the distant horizon, seeming to be almost as weary as ee was.

Settling the hatchling in es lap, ee took out the caring-shell Senesh had given em and held it in es hand, rubbing the tiny shells embedded inside as ee'd been wont to do more and more often these days. With the clawnails of es other hand, ee gently combed the infant's long fur, both grooming it and caressing it at the same time. Senesh had promised to come back. Perhaps --

The infant grabbed the shell, attracted by the colors now that ee could see. Ee brought the shell to es mouth and began sucking on it.

"Eddam won't take you to the Elders for your Naming," Jilvray murmured softly as ee took the shell out of the infant's mouth, "but I have to call you something now that you're not just a hatchling anymore. What would be a good name?"

Jilvray looked down at the token Senesh had given em and sighed. Ee was foolish to think Senesh might keep es promise. It was ridiculous to even hope for such a thing.

By now, Senesh would be reunited with es family and friends, concerned only with joining a new triad so ee could have Parents for the egg ee was carrying. As for es rash promise to get several Clans together to come to Hilvesh -- well, that was nonsense, and had been nonsense even as ee had said it.

But Jilvray couldn't dismiss the idea completely, try as ee might. If only Senesh would come back before their hatchling died.

It was only a very small hope -- barely alive \-- like the child ee held on es lap, but ee couldn't quite bring emself to give it up.

Jilvray decided ee knew es hatchling's name. Placing one hand flat against es chest, ee said solemnly, "You shall be Kiftay m'var --" ee hesitated, not really wanting to call em the child of Eddam's triad, but custom offered em no other choice for that part of the name -- " -- Eddam's dar Hilvesh."

Jilvray sighed, stroking Kiftay's head. "That's the best I can do, little one. The name means 'hope,' but most people don't use it anymore. May it do you some good."

Days passed, and even that small amount of hope faded rapidly, as Kiftay grew ever more apathetic and scrawny. Jilvray tried dribbling sun-warmed fish broth into Kiftay's mouth in an effort to get em to eat, but ee was still too young to digest it properly.

The exhausted scharn felt emself on the verge of insanity from the unremitting mental contact. Ee began to lose touch with the rest of the world, earning curses and blows from es Senior when ee inadvertently ignored em.

But all es efforts seemed to go for naught. Weakened by the lack of sufficient milk and unable to find the sort of calm and loving reassurance ee needed, Kiftay simply gave up. Ee nursed half-heartedly at best, and became harder to rouse from sleep. Before the hatchling was three tendays old, Jilvray was forced to admit that ee was fighting a losing battle.

Late one night, ee dragged emself awake to the sound of the sentries' whistles blasting out the danger signal. It took em longer than it should have to realize what was happening, so exhausted was ee. Stumbling to es feet, ee ran out of the hut, heading for the water and hoping the defenders would be able to hold off whatever it was that had come out of the forest to threaten them.

Screams and cries rent the night as the Clan came alive. Children and Parents burdened by infants or unhatched eggs raced for the ocean, while everyone else grabbed up their spears and helped cover the general retreat.

Jilvray limped along the well-trodden paths circling the low dunes, ignoring the sharp stabs of pain lancing through es crippled foot each time es folded-under toes hit the ground. Ee dared not look back, needing all es attention to keep from tripping on the uneven terrain. A fierce screech ending in a bellow sounded behind em. It was a grishmaul, then. A pack of herndslish would have barked.

The howl came again as Jilvray cleared the dunes and started across the open beach. Ee glanced quickly back over one shoulder, but saw nothing. Ee could hear Eddam's voice, shouting orders to the defenders. Then the danger signal sounded again, warning everyone the grishmaul had broken through the line and was coming after the others.

Gasping for breath, Jilvray forced es legs to move faster. Just ahead of em, a child stumbled and fell. Jilvray paused for only a second to set the youngster on es feet, but ee couldn't do any more than that. Ee had es own burden to carry.

Ee looked back yet again, scanning the starlit beach for danger.

The grishmaul rounded a dune not far behind em, its head lowered and its powerful legs pounding the sand. Its hideous red fur stood out in a wide ruff around its shoulders, almost obscuring the rest of its body. With an ear-splitting roar, it charged after the fleeing scharns.

Staring straight ahead at the beckoning ocean, Jilvray ran as hard as ee could. If the grishmaul chose em as its target, ee'd never make it. Ee could already imagine the cruel claws raking es back, the slavering jaws tearing into es body.

Lail's taunting remark about throwing Kiftay to a grishmaul in order to delay its attack flashed into es mind. Panic-stricken Parents had been known to do just that, when the only choice was both adult and child falling prey to the beasts.

Clutching es hatchling tighter, Jilvray dismissed that thought. Ee and es child would live or die together.

Time was measured now in footsteps, every other one a racking jolt of agony. But the waves loomed closer with each step. If ee should stumble now --

The sharp rocks and debris at the high tide line gouged the callused walking surfaces of es folded toes. The beach sloped down, speeding es headlong rush, and still ee was alive.

Sobbing for breath, ee staggered into the waves. All ee had to do was reach swimming depth and they'd be safe. In the water, a grishmaul was no match for a scharn. The huge beasts could swim, but only clumsily and slowly, so they rarely did so.

Jilvray dove through a breaking wave, unfolding es toes and kicking hard. Ee didn't spare a thought for the hatchling in es arms. Even in es weakened state, Kiftay would react instinctively to being submerged by closing es nostrils and clutching es Parent's fur tightly.

Only after ee'd surfaced in the deep water did Jilvray chance a look back at the beach.

The grishmaul stood hunched over its kill, tearing chunks of flesh from a small body. It had caught a child, then. Old enough to run, but not old enough to run fast, children were especially vulnerable. A number of defenders harried the beast unsuccessfully with their spears, but as soon as it became clear the victim was dead, they too ran for the ocean, forming a protective line in the shallow water, just in case the grishmaul decided to make an uncharacteristic foray into the surf.

Jilvray clutched Kiftay in es arms. The infant squirmed slightly and whimpered, but otherwise made no response, even though Jilvray cuddled em and petted em.

A wail of anguish cut through the commotion of voices out in the water. One of the Parents of the dead child must have just discovered es loss. Unlike Eddam, Jilvray thought resentfully, there were some in Hilvesh who felt a proper affection for their children.

Ee resolutely refused to allow emself to feel the horror of what had happened on the beach, knowing ee must not let it overwhelm em or it would be communicated to Kiftay. Children died often, ee told emself, from disease as well as wild animal attacks. That was a fact of life ee had long ago accepted. There was no use grieving overmuch for the tragedies of others. Ee had too many griefs of es own to worry about.

The grishmaul stayed on the beach for a long time that night, digging through the scharns' huts to find stored food and generally creating a mess.

Jilvray floated, treading water and trying to keep Kiftay as far above the surface as possible. A young infant couldn't tolerate the coolness of the water for long periods of time, and Kiftay wasn't very strong to begin with. But Jilvray could not kick hard enough to hold the infant completely out of the water. After a while, Kiftay stopped shivering and just hung limply against es shoulder, seeming to be asleep. Jilvray could hardly feel es mind, despite es best efforts to contact the hatchling and rouse em from es stupor.

It was almost dawn by the time the grishmaul finally left and the Clan could go ashore. Eddam took one look at the chaos that had been wreaked upon their hut and sent es two Juniors off to gather fresh mangonia leaves so the destroyed thatching could be replaced.

Jilvray was just as glad to get out of es Senior's sight, despite the long walk to the forest. Kiftay had never awakened from the sleep ee had fallen into, and Jilvray was afraid of what Eddam might do if ee noticed. Limping along even more slowly than usual, ee made sure Lail was well ahead of em before ee sat down to rest.

Carefully, ee laid the hatchling on the ground, letting go of em in the hopes the shock of losing contact might awaken em. Kiftay trembled, arms flailing weakly. Es mouth opened and ee tried to cry. Ee even opened es eyes a little. Then ee just laid there, quivering and jerking.

Jilvray couldn't bear to watch that. Ee picked em up again, letting the infant relax into es arms.

This couldn't go on. Kiftay was dying, and Jilvray knew ee was doing nothing but prolonging that agony. Ee should offer the hatchling to the sea, if ee truly loved em. Ee'd tried es best, and ee'd lost.

But without Kiftay, what did ee have?

Struggling to es feet, ee continued along the path that led to the trees.

Jilvray worked listlessly at repairing their hut all morning and into the afternoon, with Kiftay in es sling against es chest. But ee had no more hope.

When Eddam sent em out after one last bunch of leaves, it was all ee could do to see where ee was going. Part of es mind had sunk into the murky blankness emanating from the infant. Finally, ee wandered right past the mangonia trees and on into the forest, not really thinking anymore. Ee would just keep walking, circle around and follow the shoreline. Ee couldn't try to escape as Senesh had. That meant swimming across a large expanse of ocean, and Kiftay would never be able to survive that.

So Jilvray just walked, stumbling along oblivious to everything, not really knowing where ee was going but unable to make emself return to the beach.

Ee hadn't gotten very far when Lail stepped out from behind a tree, grinning broadly. Jilvray tried to walk past em, but Lail's long webbed fingers closed around es arm.

"Where do you think you're going?" the young scharn asked.

Jilvray mumbled something incoherent. When Lail dragged em back in the direction of the Clan's beach, ee went, unseeing and uncaring.

"I caught em trying to escape, Senior," Lail proclaimed proudly, shoving Jilvray so ee tripped and fell in front of Eddam. "Ee was over near the inlet, just strolling away."

"Oh?" Eddam went down on one knee next to es errant Junior. "I thought you knew better than that by now. What's gotten into you?"

Jilvray hadn't bothered to get up. Ee curled into a ball and tried to turn es back on Eddam. Just go to sleep. Forget it all, all the misery, all the despair. Sleep. The darkness welcomed em with peace, and a cessation of anxiety.

"Jilvray?"

Eddam's voice sounded more puzzled than angry. Jilvray ignored it. Dully, ee felt Eddam grasp es arms, pry them away from around the hatchling. Ee wanted to protest, but Eddam persisted.

With a wrenching shock, Jilvray came out of es daze. Es Inner Shell snapped reflexively closed. Kiftay wasn't in contact with em anymore. Ee blinked, opening es eyes and searching for es child. Ee was wide awake now, the inviting sense of oblivion gone entirely.

Eddam knelt next to em, holding Kiftay under one arm and carefully not touching the hatchling with es clawnails.

"I thought that was it," the Senior said with satisfaction. "You fool, don't you know a dying child can drag you into death with it? If I'd realized it was so far gone, I'd have drowned it sooner."

Eddam rose to es feet, striding towards the sea. Lail followed em eagerly.

Jilvray sat up, hugging es knees against es chest as ee watched them go. Es head drooped down and ee let emself cry at last. It just wasn't worth it anymore. Senesh was gone, Kiftay was gone. Ee could try to escape again, but ee knew ee'd never make it.

No, there was one way ee could escape. And why not? Senesh had been right all along. Life under these conditions wasn't worth it. There was a way out, and ee would take it.

Es head came up and es face set into a mask of grim determination. Jilvray pushed emself to es feet and limped after Eddam, calling out, "Wait, Senior! I'll do it! Give em to me!"

At the edge of the water, Eddam turned. "No tricks?"

"No tricks. It should be me," Jilvray begged, hurrying across the sand. "Please, Senior. Let me take em."

Eddam relented with a careless shrug of es shoulders. "All right. Just be sure you don't return to shore with that miserable infant."

"I won't. I promise." Jilvray held out es arms for the limp bundle of fur, cradling the dying hatchling against es shoulder. Ee slogged out into the water. Ee wouldn't return with Kiftay. Ee wouldn't return at all.

In the deep water off to one side of the small cove, there was a large patch of clingweed. Ee could take Kiftay there and dive down into the weed. Once ee was thoroughly tangled, there would be no way to return to the surface for air. They would drown together, but at least they would be free of Eddam and Hilvesh.

The water rose higher around Jilvray's waist. It would be easy; far easier than living without Kiftay, without Senesh, without hope.

Ee turned and looked back at the beach. Leafless thornbushes dotted the landscape, their naked branches twisted into wind-drawn designs. Yellowed beachgrass clung to the sand almost down to the high-tide mark. A few empty seed stalks bowed weary heads before the chilly breeze blowing off the land.

Although the scene appeared as bleak and desolate as Jilvray's heart, still it was infinitely beautiful and achingly precious to eyes that thought never to see it again.

Turning es back on the shore, ee plodded resolutely out to sea.

Kiftay's feet trailed into the waves, and es hands clutched the ends of Jilvray's mane in unconscious reflex. Jilvray tried to establish a light contact with es hatchling, but there wasn't much to hang onto anymore. Ee laid back into the water, holding Kiftay on top of em. Es crippled foot hurt as ee kicked, slowing em down, but that didn't matter now. They would get where they were going quickly enough.

Just in case Eddam was watching, ee would wait until ee was out further before ee turned toward the dangerous place, swimming underwater when ee did. Even if the Senior realized where ee was going, it would be too late to interfere. Jilvray would figure it so ee was almost out of breath by the time ee reached the clingweed. Ee and Kiftay would both be dead long before Eddam could get to them, assuming that the Senior would even bother to try.

Slowly but steadily, ee moved away from the beach. The offshore breeze seemed to want to help em along. The sinking sun dazzled es eyes, throwing hard-edged sparkles on the waves. Jilvray smiled. The ocean rocked em in its arms, welcoming em home. There was a kind of peace in despair, ee thought. Ee lifted es head, checking one last time to be sure Eddam hadn't gotten suspicious and started after em. Then ee blinked and came upright, treading water and staring at the land.

A small group of strange scharns stood at the far edge of Hilvesh's beach, apparently having just come around the point of land that formed one side of the cove. They were quickly surrounded by members of Hilvesh. Jilvray could see people gesturing, but ee was too far away to make out what was being said. Everyone ran to that side of the beach and the growing crowd obscured es view.

Strangers. What were strangers doing in Hilvesh's territory?

The rescue party Senesh had promised?

A commotion broke out between the strangers and the Hilvesh scharns, with much shouting and jostling. Jilvray watched anxiously, not sure ee liked the sound of all this. If that was supposed to be a rescue party, they would soon be in need of rescue themselves. They must be very great fools, to simply walk onto Hilvesh's beach like that. They weren't even carrying any spears. Such a rescue ee didn't need.

Ee floated upright in the water, holding Kiftay in es arms. The infant shivered violently, but showed no sign of returning to consciousness. Kiftay would soon be dangerously chilled. But they had been going to their deaths; a little cold shouldn't matter.

Jilvray kept still, uncertain of what to do. Ee scanned the shoreline again, squinting es eyes against the slanting sun. It was difficult to see, since the beach was in shadow, but it seemed most of the Clan was still down by the water, gathered around the strangers.

Then a most unexpected thing happened.

All around the forest's edge, scharns came out of the shadows under the trees to stand facing the beach, hardly an arm's length separating one person from the next. And these scharns were armed with spears.

As the members of Hilvesh noticed the Clan was surrounded, exclamations and curses drifted out to Jilvray's ears, along with the cries of frightened children, borne on the offshore wind.

Jilvray's lips stretched into a fearsome smile. This was more like it. Who would have expected to see such a large number of scharns come out of the forest this close to nightfall? Maybe the strangers weren't so stupid after all. The advance party had obviously been a decoy, to draw everyone's attention away from the woods.

One of the new arrivals climbed to the top of a dune. Jilvray could only make out a smattering of es words, but the stranger certainly seemed angry.

" -- abomination and disgrace! -- Surrender! \-- be destroyed!"

Jilvray couldn't believe es ears. Exhausted and desperate as ee was, ee even wondered if ee mightn't be hallucinating.

Such a thing had never been heard of before. Clans simply didn't do such things. They wouldn't dare destroy Hilvesh.

They couldn't.

Could they?

And then a chill went through es heart, colder than the depths of the deep ocean where ee had once liked to swim. In other clans, scharns seldom fought amongst themselves. Even in Hilvesh, such a thing was comparatively rare. The strangers wouldn't fight, but Hilvesh would. The strangers wouldn't expect that, wouldn't be prepared.

Throwing caution aside, Jilvray began swimming rapidly towards land. Maybe ee could get close enough to cry out a warning, alerting the strangers to what Clan Hilvesh would certainly do, once they recovered from their shock. Es broken toes protested, sending es calf muscles into cramps as ee tried to kick. Ee doubled up with pain, clutching es right leg.

Jilvray opened es mouth to call out a warning, even though ee was still too far out at sea. The wind blew es words back in es face, mocking es efforts. Then es voice was drowned out by an outraged roar of shouts and curses from Hilvesh. Some of the adults ran at their attackers, clawnails poised to strike. Others ran to their huts, obviously going after spears.

Jilvray shuddered, fighting the urge to close es eyes.

The attackers' line sagged under the first impetus of Hilvesh's fury, but reinforcements came out of the forest, driving them back.

_This can't be happening. It just isn't possible_.

What finally made it real to em was the reaction of the Clan's children. Every child old enough to walk or toddle fled automatically into the water, as if Hilvesh were being attacked by grishmauls. The youngsters might not fully understand what was going on, but they knew the water meant safety, so they ran. No one in es right mind would flee in the direction of the forest, with darkness coming on. The attackers had a psychological advantage in that. It was more natural to run in the opposite direction.

Jilvray began once more to swim for the beach, more slowly this time. Eventually, es feet touched bottom and ee stood up, cuddling Kiftay's limp, bedraggled body against es chest. The attackers appeared to be winning, through sheer force of numbers.

Jilvray's broken toes struck a stone. Ee fell, sinking under a wave before ee could regain es balance.

" _Why didn't you come years ago_ ," ee thought with sudden resentment, struggling back to es feet, _"before I was made a useless cripple? Why didn't you come then, when I still had a chance?"_

Tears of frustration filled es eyes. They hadn't come because they hadn't known. Enough that they were here now. Ee slogged doggedly towards the shallow water, thinking of how nice it would feel to have es twisted claws in Eddam's eye sockets, or around Lail's neck. But although ee watched the unequal battle with satisfaction, ee had no intention of risking Kiftay's life by running into the fray with es hatchling in es arms. Revenge wasn't worth that, even if Kiftay was half dead already.

A horrible thought struck em then.

Senesh, where was Senesh? Ee had to be the one responsible for all this. Ee could be killed in the fighting. Where was ee? Still plodding through the waves, Jilvray searched wildly, but Senesh was nowhere to be seen.

No, of course not. Senesh wouldn't be here, ee told emself with relief. Senesh was carrying an egg. Ee wouldn't be exposed to danger. Ee'd certainly been left behind. There was no reason to worry about Senesh's being hurt in the fray.

Jilvray saw Eddam go down, still fighting. Ee half-closed es eyes and felt es lips spread unbidden into a mirthless smile. Lail broke free and ran for the water, to Jilvray's momentary annoyance. Then ee realized ee had other things to worry about besides the fate of es erstwhile partners.

The fighting on the beach had become hideously fierce, as Hilvesh refused to surrender. The attackers seemed quite determined to leave none of the Hilvesh adults alive, judging by what ee could see happening. Ee couldn't really blame them, but it didn't leave em much to hope for.

Ee hadn't gone to join the fight on the side of the invaders. Instead, ee'd stood cowering in the water with es hatchling, as if it had been a beast racing out from the shadows of the forest, not the avengers ee'd never truly expected to see. Too late, Jilvray realized ee should have gone ashore to fight. Perhaps, seeing that, the strangers would have spared em and es child.

Now the beach was covered with bleeding bodies. Squinting through tears of self-loathing and despair, Jilvray could see that not a single Hilvesh adult remained standing anywhere.

Good.

But what would they do to em? Would they slaughter em as they had the others? Senesh wasn't there to stop them, to tell them ee was on their side. Caught up in the frenzy of the battle, they might well kill em if ee went ashore now.

Jilvray began backing out into deeper water. Swim away for a while. Wait until things calm down, and then come back.

But Kiftay lay shivering in es arms, and the sun was going down.

Jilvray looked around. Most of the Clan's children were in the water with em. What would become of them? There were a few smaller ones on shore, crying or staring around in confusion. They had not been harmed. There would undoubtedly be many Parent-less hatchlings, but nothing could be done for them. They were doomed, just as Kiftay was.

Jilvray glanced at the youngsters standing or swimming in the water around em. They seemed in shock, unable to comprehend fully what had happened. Some of them cried for their Parents. A number of the older ones looked to Jilvray, as if for guidance. What if they panicked and tried to swim away? The younger ones could easily become lost in the open sea, or even drown. And if they went ashore anywhere, with darkness coming on, they would fall prey to the grishmauls, or to one of the other nocturnal predators.

Now that the fighting had ended, everything had become strangely quiet. The jeering cry of a circling seabird fell raucously into the eerie silence. There were a few faint cries of pain. On the beach, the attackers stood in scattered groups, dark silhouettes posed almost grotesquely beneath the bright sunset colors in the sky above them.

Now what?

Jilvray made up es mind. The children must go ashore. It was their best chance for survival. Perhaps these other clans would be willing to take them in? No one could blame children for the actions of their Parents, after all.

Ee waded toward the beach, calling to the youngsters to come with em. Hesitantly, one by one, they began following em in.

Holding Kiftay in es arms, ee limped out of the waves. The invaders would most likely kill em, as they'd killed everyone else. And ee wouldn't blame them. Hilvesh deserved to be destroyed down to the last adult. And ee emself deserved the same fate, for ee had acquiesced in their viciousness.

However, they might be willing to spare the children, if not the adults. It was worth a try.

Ignoring the bodies scattered around the beach, Jilvray fixed es eyes on one of the strangers and trudged over to em.

The scharn ee had singled out had exceptionally dark fur. Es long black mane hung disheveled and wild around es face, giving em a frightening appearance. As ee drew closer, Jilvray could see the red streak of a raw gash down one thigh. The stranger held no spear but looked at es own bloody hands, as if in astonishment at what ee had done. Ee didn't notice Jilvray until Jilvray was almost in front of em, and then ee just stared, es face a dark question.

Without a moment's hesitation, Jilvray knelt down in the sand at the stranger's feet, throwing es head back so es throat was exposed. Perhaps they would kill em quickly and it would be over. They had not seemed cruel so much as determined. Jilvray was satisfied to die along with the rest of es hated Clan. Ee deserved no better.

The stranger's black eyes focused on em, understanding dawning slowly in their depths. Ee leaned forward, es long fingers closing around Jilvray's throat. Jilvray could feel es own pulse beating under the sharp clawnails. The stranger's mind was withdrawn and shielded, es Shell clamped shut. Jilvray made no effort to contact em, although the clawnails against es throat might have made it possible. The stranger obviously did not want such a contact. That meant ee surely intended to kill em.

Good. This would be an easy death. Jilvray met the other scharn's eyes squarely, and waited for the sharp claws to close in es neck.

"Will you not ask for mercy?" the stranger said. There was an unexpected gentleness in es voice, and this encouraged Jilvray to speak.

"For the children of Hilvesh," Jilvray replied hoarsely. Ee swallowed the dry ache of fear in es throat. "That they not be harmed." Ee hesitated, afraid to say anything to displease the stranger. "And for the hatchling in my arms, that you grant em the mercy of a quick death."

The other scharn considered this, touching Kiftay briefly with es free hand, leaving a streak of blood on the infant's white fur as ee did so.

Jilvray winced at the stranger's touch on es child, but forced emself not to draw back. Surely, ee wouldn't be forced to watch Kiftay's death? "Please," ee begged, "kill me any way you wish, but make it easy for the little one."

The stranger hesitated. Jilvray thought ee saw tears shining in the dark scharn's eyes. Ee probably didn't want to have to kill an infant.

Es hand slid away from Jilvray's throat. "Stand up and come with me," ee ordered.

So it was not going to be that easy, after all. Jilvray struggled to es feet, resigned to a slower death. Kiftay hung limply in es arms, water still dripping from es sodden fur. Jilvray hugged em tighter, brushing the top of es head with es lips and inhaling es familiar scent for what ee feared would be the last time. As ee followed the other scharn through the deepening dusk, ee kept es eyes on the sand to avoid seeing the carnage around em. Ee dared not even turn around to find out what had happened to the children who had followed em ashore. Ee was afraid of what ee might see.

"Jilvray?"

The familiar voice cut into es despair and ee raised es eyes, looking around in surprise. Es captor took em by the shoulders and gently turned em to face the voice.

"This is the one you spoke of, Senesh, is it not?" said the dark stranger.

"Yes, Dravish. That's em."

Senesh lay on the sand, with someone kneeling next to em trying to stop the blood running from a long slash down es arm. Senesh must have been involved in the battle after all, despite the egg that made a very noticeable bulge in es midsection.

Jilvray slumped down cross-legged next to em. Ee barely heard Dravish's words as ee reached out to touch Senesh's face, not quite believing it was really em.

"Ee brought the children in from the water, and then thought I meant to kill em," Dravish said to the injured scharn, puzzlement clear in es voice. "How could I kill someone who showed so much concern for the little ones?" ee added softly, kneeling next to Jilvray. "Hasn't there been enough killing already?"

Senesh propped emself up on es elbow, ignoring the protests of the scharn who was trying to bandage the other arm.

"I promised I'd be back, didn't I?" ee said, es amber eyes meeting Jilvray's. "I'm sorry we took so long, but it wasn't easy to get this many Clans to agree to cooperate and come here. You were right: they didn't want to do it." Ee grinned conspiratorially. "But we took your advice. Hilvesh sure didn't expect us to appear out of the woods like that, did they?"

Then ee noticed Kiftay, and the enthusiasm in es voice died out. "I -– I didn't think the egg would hatch so quickly. How long --?"

"Almost three tendays," Jilvray replied.

Senesh stared at em in dismay. After a moment that seemed to last forever, ee asked, "May I hold our hatchling, s'yesha?"

S'yesha, beloved partner. And Senesh still wore the sash of a Hilvesh low-Junior. Did that mean ee still considered emself to be Jilvray's partner?

Jilvray hesitated. Ee was so accustomed to the feel of Kiftay's body against es that ee found it hard to relinquish the child. Senesh might blame em, might hold em responsible for Kiftay's miserable condition.

And yet, Senesh was Third Parent. Kiftay might respond to that.

No, it was too late now. Kiftay was too far gone.

Jilvray handed over the unconscious infant ee had tried so hard to save, not knowing how to explain to Senesh. As ee relinquished Kiftay into the other scharn's grasp, it was a wrenching loss, but at the same time, a great relief.

Senesh sank back on the sand, clutching the infant against es chest and stroking em with es uninjured hand. Es fingers closed around Kiftay's head, and the young scharn's eyes fluttered closed as ee sought contact with es infant. Jilvray held es breath. Ee hardly dared hope it might work.

Ee wasn't particularly surprised when it didn't. Kiftay just lay there, unresponsive. In the deepening darkness, Kiftay was a white blur against Senesh's fur. The white blur smeared and washed sideways, as Jilvray blinked back the tears in es eyes.

Then something snapped. The tears became tears of rage, instead of despair. Ee grabbed Kiftay away from Senesh and shook it, ranting wildly, "Don't just give up, drown you! You don't have to die! I won't have it, do you understand? I tried too hard to save you! I won't let you give up now!"

All of a sudden, Jilvray wasn't sure if ee was talking to Kiftay or to emself.

Senesh stared in blank surprise at es crazed partner. Then ee tried to sit up, to take Kiftay away from em. Dravish raised one hand in a gesture of negation, and the young scharn collapsed back onto the sand, puzzled.

Even though ee knew it was useless, Jilvray hugged the frail little body tightly against es shoulder, cradling its head in es hands and making contact with es clawnails.

There was nothing, absolutely nothing. Ee might have been holding a dead fish.

No, wait! Was that a tiny flicker of life? Ee couldn't be sure, through the distortion from es broken claws. Furiously, ee sought a way around the twisted, numb barricade that kept em from es hatchling.

Wrenching emself out of the maddening contact, Jilvray ruthlessly bit off the twisted tips of each of es deformed clawnails, exposing the raw edges of the luminescent nerves buried within the dead nail tissue. Heedless of the pain, ee reached again for Kiftay.

The contact was clearer now. Reaching once more through the cold blackness, ee strained towards the faint glow of the infant's consciousness. Ee could see it, but ee couldn't quite reach it. Kiftay was getting weaker and slipping away.

Determinedly, ee kept up es frantic effort, pushing aside the waves of blackness that threatened to carry em down into death also.

_No, I won't let you die! I love you! You must live! You WILL live_!

Jilvray's mind seemed to turn inside out as es Inner Shell shimmered and dissolved. A strange vision appeared before em, an interwoven dance of creatures swimming, moving, pursuing each other through the vast ocean of life. It almost caught em up in its sheer vitality. Kiftay was only one of the many things in the intricate web of life, a web stretching from creature to creature and species to species, singing its joy and despair in the chant of the breaking waves.

It was awe-inspiring and heart-breakingly beautiful, almost too much to bear. But Kiftay didn't share in this glory. Es little life flickered weakly, soon to drop out of the dance.

Jilvray seemed to see emself within the spiral twists of a certain kind of seashell. As the shell curved and opened out, the vision of exuberant life broadened, spread, took in more of the surrounding world. It was tempting to cast emself out through that spiral, to find what might lie beyond, but ee forced emself to turn away. Inward, in the other direction, things seemed to focus down to sharp intensity and detail. If ee went that way, perhaps --?

Visualizing es dying child at the center of the descending spiral, Jilvray wrenched emself away from the tempting vision of the larger world. But it took energy and fierce determination to go that way. It would have been much easier to go outwards.

Hideous images streamed past em in the current, images ee didn't want to look at. But if ee looked away, ee was carried backwards. Only by facing them could ee get closer to es child.

Ee saw emself tempted to betray Senesh, in order not to lose em. Ee saw again es maneuvering to keep the young scharn, even though ee knew in es heart it was wrong. Ee saw emself willing to sacrifice anyone and anything for es hatchling. And for what?

So there would be someone is this world who would love em, who would need em, who would not despise em for es weakness.

Not love for the child, but only a desperate quest for love for emself.

Jilvray folded in on emself. The inward focus of this vision was no easy thing to bear, since it lit the dark and hidden places of es own mind with a searing and merciless light. Ee could go no further. As if submerged for too long in the sea, es lungs burned for air. Ee had to turn back, swim out of this awful spiral vision before ee could drown.

But Kiftay lay in the opposite direction.

Then something very puzzling happened. Ee seemed to feel Senesh holding em from behind, ee's organ opening em, even though Senesh was clearly not here. Even more, the sensation was as fully intense as if ee emself was deep in shirren, es body desperately wanting, needing, what Senesh was doing.

And ee reacted to that wonderful ecstasy, as if es partner truly was here.

Just at that ineffable moment, Jilvray felt another presence in front of em and a voice whispered in es head, sounding almost like the dark scharn called Dravish ee had thought would be es executioner:

"Look beyond the reasons and the past. They don't matter. What will you dare for this child's life? What will you offer in return?"

Jilvray wriggled around this question like a fish impaled on a spear. Ee was terrified, but Senesh's love somehow surrounded em and gave em courage.

Ee answered resolutely, "I offer everything that I am, all I have, all I might be, and all that is rightfully mine to give."

"Then go on," the implacable voice whispered. "Or give up and leave the child to die."

The intensity of that strange joining with Senesh and Dravish faded almost away, yet still surrounded em. Gritting es teeth, Jilvray once again forced es way down the descending spiral toward the fading glow of life that beckoned em on. The pressure increased, the water grew colder. What if ee reached the center, and found no air to breathe? What if Kiftay died, and pulled em into the darkness also?

Still, ee swam on, against the heavy weight of es own fear and despair. Once ee'd thought ee'd welcome death, but ee saw now ee had been wrong. Ee wanted desperately to live. Nevertheless, ee refused to turn around and seek es own salvation.

At last ee could see Kiftay ahead of em. Ee floated limply, long white fur spread out and drifting in a graceful halo around es body. Jilvray took the infant in es arms and realized ee wasn't breathing, had no air to breathe. Clamping es mouth over Kiftay's mouth and nose, Jilvray forced some of es own precious air into es child's lungs, heedless of the burning hunger in es chest. Ee'd never get Kiftay out of this spiral and up to the surface in time. Ee wouldn't even make it emself. But ee wouldn't give up.

A fresh shimmer of life from the infant. Jilvray clutched em tighter in es arms, seeking for contact. Fragile tendrils of fear touched es mind as Kiftay responded. Ee grasped at them, caught them, held them tightly.

_I love you. I can't save you, but know I love you and you will not go alone into death_.

Unable to hold es breath any longer, ee exhaled es last remaining air into the hatchling, then steeled emself for the shock that would come when ee would have to breathe and feel water fill es lungs. Clutching Kiftay with es last strength, ee inhaled.

The spiral shell collapsed and exploded, both at the same time. Es own familiar Inner Shell coalesced around em, with Kiftay's presence a subdued but definite glimmer in es embrace.

Jilvray blinked, opening eyes ee did not even realize ee had closed. Ee was safe, and Kiftay lay against es shoulder, whimpering softly, but alive. But ee emself was floating in the water, es partner's arms around em from behind, with one of es hands covering Jilvray's own hand on Kiftay's head, while the other was on the hand that held Kiftay. But Senesh's organ was no longer inside em, if it ever had been.

And there was another scharn holding em in the same way, but from the front, es dark-furred fingers covering Senesh's hands, holding all three sets of clawnails in contact.

Almost as soon as Jilvray had realized it, the contact was broken simultaneously by Dravish and Senesh together.

"What -- happened?" Jilvray gasped.

Dravish smiled. "That was a last ditch attempt to reach you and do whatever we could to help. Some of the scharns in my Clan have learned to do that, but this is the first time I dared to try such a thing, since it can be dangerous to everyone concerned."

"Was Senesh really inside me? Or was I hallucinating?"

"Ee was. I needed em to get me through to you, since ee's your partner and I'm not. But right now, we have to get you and Kiftay to shore. You both must be exhausted after that ordeal. Senesh, you take the child, and I'll tow Jilvray."

Carefully, Senesh lifted Kiftay into es arms. After a moment of surprised hesitation, Kiftay sighed and then snuggled contentedly against es Third Parent.

Jilvray relaxed into Dravish's grasp and wept with relief and joy.

It seemed es hope was not truly dead after all.

FROM THE AUTHOR

I would like to acknowledge Paisley Rowan's contributions to this story: her comments and questions led to a number of improvements. Thanks much, Paisley!

For lack of a better term, I describe my favorite kind of Science Fiction as Anthropological SF. No hard science, no space ships or galactic empires, and definitely no humans. Instead, I want to read about other sorts of sentient beings on distant planets, especially ones who reproduce in ways very unlike ours. Since there's not a lot of that sort of thing available, I'm trying my hand at it, with a definite emphasis on graphic sex between my alien creatures. So maybe I should call this Erotic Anthropological SF?

If you like the concept, please let me know. I can be reached at klschaefer@suddenlink.net

Of course, like every other aspiring writer, I'd be most grateful if you'd recommend my books to anyone you think would enjoy them, and also leave a review at your favorite retailer. Positive reader reviews have a huge impact on the success of an ebook.

I have two other SF ebooks available. "Walls of Ancient Stone" is novel length and would also qualify as Erotic Anthropological SF. It deals with one individual's struggle to find a place in his world, when that world puts little value upon him. Share the adventures of a Rillenu named Daveeka, a childless male of a race of marsupials, where only Females and Fathers are of any consequence. He starts out wanting nothing more than the child that will bring him honor and respect, but ends up undermining the walls of tradition.

The other is "Once Upon a Cloud".

High in the atmosphere of a gas giant planet, strange creatures live out their lives in the sky. An unusual alien perspective on youth, old age, life, the universe, and everything.

