

Melody of the Heart

Diana Mylek
Copyright © 2008 Diana Mylek

All rights reserved.

ISBN 10: 1502485762

ISBN-13: 978-1502485762

This book is dedicated to three people who make my heart sing: My son Brandon, who has gifted me with the most wonderful grandchildren ever, my daughter Melody whose kind heart and sweet spirit make her beautiful inside and out, and my middle child, what's his name...Oh, right just kidding, Caleb! I DO see you and I love you because you are the silliest of them all. Your laugh is contagious.
♥

Philippians 1:27-30

New International Version ™

Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ.

♥

CHAPTER 1

After the last song was sung, the last note of music played; after the roar of the crowd died down, when the lights on the stage were dimmed, and the auditorium lights turned up, Evan Worthy took his last bow and walked off stage. Behind the curtain, Matt waited. And Evan knew what the first words from his mouth would be.

"So did you think about it, Evan? What did you decide?"

Matt had asked the same question every night for the last three weeks, and each night Evan gave him the same answer.

"No, Matt. Not yet."

Tonight Matt's plea was urgent. It was nearly August, and school would begin in September. If he couldn't convince his brother to let him go in the next few weeks, he might lose his chance to attend high school altogether.

"I'm not asking for the world," Matt pleaded, alternating between anger and despair. Why wouldn't he answer? "I want to be like everyone else, have friends my own age, go to a real school, maybe play on a football team. I want to be in a classroom, and go out on dates with girls who like me for me, instead of acting all friendly just so they can meet you."

"Matt, it's not that simple." Evan brushed his hair back in frustration. This was becoming a regular argument between them, especially now that Matt had turned sixteen and began wondering aloud what he might be missing while living on the road in his brother's shadow. His discontent had grown and now both of them resented the other's stubbornness in the matter; Matt couldn't understand Evan's refusal to let him go, and Evan was hurt that Matt wanted to leave.

"It's not like I can stop my career and just drop out of Christian music, Matt. There are more people than just you and Keith depending on me for their livelihoods. I have employees—my musicians, crew, and people in the office. My records and concerts provide their living. I have to keep on singing, playing concert dates, and producing enough CD's to make payroll. Besides, it's not a good career move to drop out when you're at the top of your profession."

"Couldn't you commute back and forth? Like you do in Nashville? You're never there enough to call it your hometown, and we hardly ever see you when we're home anyway. Keith could stay with me. I'm old enough to take care of both him and me now. Keith wouldn't have to do anything but be there. I won't get into trouble."

Evan saw his manager waving to him, indicating that the press and backstage pass holders were waiting for him. He motioned to Mitch that he would be there momentarily, and turned his attention back to his brother's earnest plea. The look on Matt's face made Evan feel guilty, but he wasn't about to give in.

"I need you guys with me. We're family. It's always been the three of us."

Matt scoffed. "And your entourage of musicians, agents, backup singers, stage hands. Fans that won't let us near you. Security guards who don't believe we're part of the band. It used to be just the three of us, but that was like, so long ago."

"God's been good to us, Matt. I never dreamed we would get this far. You know that with much blessing comes responsibility. I can't just walk away."

"I know, Evan. I'm not asking you to do that." Matt sniffed and rubbed his neck. "But I want a life too. I never got to be a kid; I've spent most of my life on the road with you. I want to find out what it's like before I grow up and lose my youth completely."

What could Evan tell him? No, Matt, too bad? That his needs were not as important as Evan's career? Even so, Evan had sacrificed everything to care for his brothers, and he expected no less from them.

"Sorry, Matt. I know this is important to you, but I've done the best I can to give you everything. I've tried to be your mom, dad, brother and friend. I tried to make up for losing all of them. I did what I thought was best for you."

Matt's face softened. His brother unselfishly cared for him and Keith at the expense of his own interests. Matt was not ungrateful.

"You were all those people to me. I've got everything a guy could want, as far as money and clothes and stuff. I know how hard you work, and what you did to keep us together. But bro, me and Keith, we're grown now, and we have our own lives."

Evan looked across the backstage area to where his other brother, Keith sat in a wheelchair waiting.

"Keith doesn't. I can't abandon him, Matt. He can't work; what will he do?"

Matt's eyes were on his brother also, but he disagreed. "Have you paid any attention to Keith lately? Have you read any of the notes he writes when we travel?"

Evan hadn't. When would he have the time? Between the concerts, rehearsals beforehand, and work in the studio for his latest CD he had no more than five minutes to himself in almost a year.

"So what are you trying to tell me?" Evan asked. "That Keith is a writer?"

"Songs, Evan. Good ones. Better than yours." Matt frowned at his brother, and then smiled in pride for Keith. "He can't play the piano to save his life, and he sings like a wounded animal, but he writes awesome lyrics. If you put the words to music and sang them, you would have your best collection yet."

"You think?" Evan looked at his disabled brother in wonder, thinking about the next project, writing songs for a new CD. Evan was feeling pressure already and the tour from the current collection wasn't even over. He had yet to write one song, or even feel inspired to speak a message from his heart. Evan was tapped out, spiritually and creatively. With his hectic schedule and tour, he couldn't seem to find more than five minutes at a time to devote himself to Bible study or prayer, let alone hear the voice of God. And going to church was simply not an option; he was in a different city almost every Sunday, a concert each Saturday night. Even if he did manage to find a church near the auditorium, his appearance caused such a commotion that the message was lost. What a far cry from the early days, twelve years ago when it was just him, his guitar, a couple of songs, and a fire inside to share the Gospel with a hurting world. He was the bearer of Good News, the message given to him by the Savior to whom he was devoted. For Evan, singing was the best way to communicate in a way listeners would remember. He was gifted, handsome, charismatic, and his voice captured the audience to whom he sang, but to Evan all these things were tools to be used in evangelism, bringing hope to a world devastated by sin. "Discovered" by a local radio station after countless concerts for youth groups and coffee houses, his natural good looks were repackaged into a more professional appearance, his voice polished to perfection; and he was presented to the record companies as the rising star on the contemporary Christian scene. Mitch, the radio personality who recognized his talent became Evan's manager, in charge of his career, booking and publicity, and things exploded from that point. He became a major player in his record company, his face and name as common in Christian music as his own personal heroes. Awards became frequent, concert halls sold out, and his music flew off the store shelves.

It was then that Evan's life became no longer his own. Not that he minded; success was welcome, his goal all along, and he had never been a free man. From the time he was young Evan supported his family and raised his brothers. After his father died, leaving a wife and two children, Evan assumed the role of caretaker, babysitter, and teacher for Keith. He was the one who taught Keith to walk, encouraging him to keep moving on legs that were bent and sometimes useless. Frequent operations and the need for physical therapy kept Keith from regular schooling, but Evan taught him diligently from his own lessons and books. Keith was a bright and eager student, with a quick mind and pleasant disposition, normal in every way, except the full use of his limbs. He idolized his older brother, living his life through him as Evan played, worked, and later, sang. And Evan was devoted to Keith, then both of his brothers when Matt joined the family in Evan's fourteenth year. His mother never volunteered the identity of Matt's father, and Evan did not ask; her death when Matt was four ended the issue anyway. She took the secret of his paternity to her grave.

At eighteen, Evan became the sole support of his family, no longer working part- time, attending school and baby-sitting for his brothers. It was in this year his career began, then two more years until this very moment, as Evan and Matt faced each other in the backstage of the Civic Center in Atlanta. Twelve wonderful and terrifying years. His youth was spent in the service of the Lord, his brothers, and his fans; responsible first to God, then his family, his record contracts, his public, and then lastly in importance, Evan himself.

"Evan! You're making the press and your fans wait," Mitch called from the other side of the stage, interrupting both his thoughts and the conversation with Matt. He gave a final glance to his youngest brother, who nodded and stepped aside so Evan could pass. The discussion was over for now, but far from finished. Evan went to carry out his responsibilities, and Matt retired to the back of the auditorium with Keith.

♥

A week later, they were nearing the finish of the tour, which would wind down at the end of August. They had been on the road for the better part of three months, from city to city, and cards were placed backstage to remind them where they were on any given night. It was important never to offend the audience, and Evan appointed Gloria, Mitch's wife as the director of information. She gathered data about each city on the tour, such as shopping, restaurants and entertainment, in the rare event that they spend more than one night. Fairs and outdoor festivals were a favorite with the crew, they were able to mingle with the crowd and be entertained themselves between shows. They grew weary of playing cards on the bus or wandering around the concert hall. The crew was a close group, committed to Evan, each other, and God, but boredom was unavoidable with the hurry-up-and-wait life they lived between concerts. Any chance to get away, even for a few hours was a welcome relief from the routine of set up, tear down, and travel.

Evan demanded perfection in his concerts; everything onstage had to be flawless, like clockwork, from lights and sound to music, videos, even Evan's "casual" talk between songs. Though it seemed like he was sharing from his heart, it was actually a carefully scripted monologue that never changed. Evan was serious about presenting the Gospel in an earnest and compelling manner. Now that he had the wording just right, he refused to alter it in any way. His crew was not allowed to ad-lib, comment or vary from the routine, and they knew that if they valued their job, dissent was not an option.

Of course, Evan couldn't control everything, and on all of his tours, problems appeared that were quickly dealt with. However this, Evan's fifteenth concert tour was more plagued with trouble than any of the others to the point that he wondered if God was trying to send him a message. Just before the tour began, the band that was opening for him broke up, and Mitch had to scramble to replace them on short notice. At Mitch's suggestion, Evan allowed a young group new to the record label to travel with him. It turned out to be a great idea for both Evan and the other band; Evan was a big enough draw that he didn't need an opening act, but the exposure for the up-and-coming group was priceless to them. Long ago, someone had done the same for Evan, and it pleased him to return the favor. About halfway into the sixty-city tour, one of the equipment vans was involved in an accident, and it took three more concerts to get the equipment replaced. This meant no light show, no videos, just a real music concert, like when Evan first began singing. He prayed it was enough that the audience would not feel cheated.

Now the tour was in its last fifteen dates, the stomach flu was working its way through the crew, from stagehands to musicians, sparing no one, not even Evan himself. Last night he took the stage after three full days of stomach flu, so weak that he could barely stand, his voice failing him by the end of the concert. Digital music saved the day. Though loath to lip sync his songs, it was necessary in order to finish the concert, so Evan abandoned his own rule and faked it during the last half-hour of the show. It would never happen again he vowed, but even as he took the stage to begin tonight's concert, his guitar player suddenly lurched forward. The man, Joe, was caught by stagehands before he hit the floor, leaving them without a lead musician for the whole show. Matt jumped in to take his place; Matt, who only knew three cords but who could play air guitar like a pro and digital music was once again put to use. Evan turned panicked eyes to his technicians, who smiled and gave him the thumbs up, this time ready to cover for the ailing musician.

"Lawrence," Evan said to the bass player as they ran off stage between songs, "If you drop over on me, I'm in real trouble."

Lawrence laughed but didn't dare tell his boss that he spent the last hour before the show losing his dinner in the arena's bathroom and was even now about to repeat the act. Moreover, between the sets, when Evan went to his dressing room to change, he found his wardrobe mistress/hairdresser/makeup person, Moira locked in the bathroom, one more casualty of the virus that now had reached his whole crew. Fortunately, Keith had been ill early on and was over it, so he now stood in the dressing room, holding Evan's next set of clothes.

"You're on your own, as far as makeup and hair," Keith informed him with a grin, handing his brother a new shirt.

"As long as my hair is decent I'm fine," Evan replied, throwing off his sweaty clothes and replacing them with cool, fresh ones. "That's two sick today. Man, this has been some tour."

Keith limped slowly to the dressing table and found the towel Moira used to wipe sweat from Evan's face. He threw it to his brother and waited while Evan hurried to ready himself for the next set.

"Thanks, bro," Evan said as he finished his preparation and turned for the door. "Did you see Matt on stage?"

Keith laughed again, slapping at his withered legs. "We have it on video. All of us back here about busted a gut."

"I almost forgot what I was saying," Evan chuckled. "I think he was in his glory."

"Matt's finally getting the recognition that he thinks he deserves," teased Keith.

Evan paused to take a deep breath before he opened the dressing room door. "See you afterward." He went to the bathroom and knocked. "Hope you feel better, Moira."

A loud groan was her only reply.

♥

The second set went smoothly despite the loss of another stagehand that succumbed during intermission. As the last song ended, thunderous applause rang through the concert hall, and leather-clad Bikers for Christ kept order while Evan slipped off stage to his dressing room to clean up and change. Matt and Keith were waiting to help him take off his makeup and calm down after the frantic show. Moira lay on the sofa with a wet towel on her head, moaning.

"Don't leave the lids off the soaps and creams," she croaked feebly.

"Yes, boss," Matt answered dutifully as he closed the jars and threw Evan's dirty towels into a bin.

Mitch knocked, and entered without waiting for an answer. "Ten minutes, Evan. You've got interviews with two separate radio stations, a group of teenagers who won backstage passes, some local pastors—they financed the show—and a woman who says God told her to marry you."

"Again?" Evan shook his head in wonder. "There's one in every city, I swear."

Mitch smiled crookedly. "Well, if you'd get yourself married this wouldn't happen."

"As if a woman would be brave enough to take on the three of us," Evan nodded to his brothers.

"Only about a thousand, so far," Matt quipped. "It wouldn't hurt for you to at least check out this latest female."

Evan snorted. "I have no time in my life for myself, let alone a woman. Do you realize how much maintenance they require?"

"Tell me about it," confided Mitch. "They need to be fed daily, you have to clothe them and they want you to talk to them once in a while! It's a never ending nightmare."

"I'm telling Gloria," grumbled Moira from the sofa. "If I live through this night, I swear I will avenge all women."

"I think we're safe," laughed Evan. "I'm ready. Where's Keith's wheelchair?" He kept it handy, for whenever speed was important. Despite the difficulty, Keith preferred to walk, but used it obediently when Evan wanted to be somewhere quick.

Matt brought the chair for Keith as the group moved to the backstage that was now set with tables of food, an area for interviews, and another for the crew to relax after the performance. Mitch first took Evan to meet the teenagers, who squealed with delight and gushed excitedly to their hero. Evan then posed for photographs with any who asked, signing shirts, posters, CDs and whatever else the kids brought. He spent time with each young person, listening intently to his or her excited chatter. This was his favorite part of any tour, meeting fans backstage. Suddenly one of the girls squealed again, and made a beeline for Matt.

"Aren't you, like, the guitar player?" The young woman inquired. "You were awesome!"

"Oh, thanks," replied Matt with a wink to his brothers. "I don't really play much."

"Could I get your autograph?" she asked, pushing a CD in front of him.

Matt accepted her pen and signed his name, Matt Beers.

"Your last name is Beers?" asked the girl, twirling her long, straight hair with a finger.

"Yeah, I guess me and my brother are a couple of Beers." He gave her the CD.

"My last name is Kidder, Kelly Kidder," the young girl said. "It's so lame, saying I'm a real Kidder. I hate it."

Matt laughed. "I guess we don't have much of a choice for our names. Except Evan. He changed his last name to Worthy."

"Oh, I wondered," said Kelly. She smiled at Matt. "Our youth pastor is taking us to Denny's when we're done here. Do you want to go along?"

Did he ever. "Evan?" Matt asked.

"I...don't think so," Evan answered slowly, frowning. He was wondering how Matt would get home, and if fans would follow his brother to the hotel when he returned. If that happened, they may never get any rest tonight.

Matt was aware of his concerns. "Please? I'll have someone drop me back at the bus."

Evan relented. Matt knew so few people his own age. Maybe this would satisfy his need for the company of his peers.

"Who's the youth pastor?" Evan asked. "I need to talk to him."

Kelly and a friend went to find their fearless leader, dragging him backstage just as Evan was beginning an interview with The FISH-FM radio.

"This is pastor Luke," said Kelly, interrupting Evan as he spoke. "Oh, I'm sorry."

"That's okay," Evan assured her. "Pastor, my brother wants to go along with your youth group to Denny's. Can he ride with you? I'll have someone claim him when you're finished."

"Of course," replied the pastor, who was barely older than his charges. "We'd be glad to have him. We always go out to eat after concerts. All this dancing makes the kids hungry."

"Standing still makes teenagers hungry," laughed Evan. "Don't let him eat more than his weight in food."

"Tyrant," snarled Matt, messing Evan's hair. Evan took a swipe at his brother and dismissed him, turning back to his interviewers.

"Sorry. He has a better social life than I do," Evan apologized.

"That's because I'm the good-looking one," Matt called back.

The interviewers laughed politely as Evan gave Matt a dirty look and shooed him away.

♥

Keith took his normal place at the fringes of the crowd, watching his brother charm the public with his wit and candor. He was enormously proud of Evan, and not a little jealous of the way women drooled over him, men wanted to be near him, and even children found him captivating. Evan had it all, the looks, the voice, the brains. And working legs. Keith lived his life through his brother, trying to be content in his shadow, convincing himself that this was the best for which a damaged person could ever hope. Still he harbored an unspoken desire to enjoy the things he would never have—a home of his own, a job, and a woman to love him. He never let on, never complained, never told anyone except at night as he waited for sleep. God, he prayed, could there be just one woman who might look past my useless legs and find the person I am inside? I'm a man, just like any other and I long for someone to share my heart and life. Nevertheless, Keith knew it was not likely, and from experience he knew that even if a woman should show the slightest interest in him, once she met Evan, it was all over. Evan eclipsed everything; no normal man could measure up to Keith's brother, let alone a cripple like himself. Keith resigned himself to life as it was.

Keith wheeled the chair to the food table and filled a plate for himself. His arms were strong and muscular from years of using the chair and supporting himself when he walked. For sport, Keith would arm-wrestle the crew; he could beat any of them, and this was the only accomplishment of which he might boast, though he chose not to. He saved any proud talk for his brothers. Tonight, however, he was lost to the shadows, left alone to fill his stomach and later, retire to the bus.

I am very blessed, Keith reminded himself as loneliness settled over him. Evan didn't have to take care of us after mom died, and he certainly didn't have to take us on tour and provide for Matt and me all these years. He gave his life for the two of them when he could have had marriage, a home, whatever, but Evan never complained, at least to Keith. Hard work was only a small part of his success; he seemed blessed by God, anointed really, and everything he put his hands to flourished. He wrote, sang, performed, and each of his projects were eagerly awaited, sometimes sold out before they even hit the shelves. Keith shook his head in wonder as he thought what a wild ride the last twelve years had been with him and Matt enjoying the benefits of their brother's accomplishment. Evan made sure they wanted for nothing, but his own needs were simple and he was too busy to enjoy the benefits of his tremendous income. Keith and Matt asked for very little also. All they wanted was to be comfortable while they traveled.

Keith turned on the television, but with an antenna atop the bus, choices were few. So he rifled through the books they brought along, finding nothing new. All that was left for him was hours of boredom. He found a pen and began to pour his heart into a poem that might eventually become a song, if he could find someone to compose the music. He was as hopeless with music as his legs were at running.

♥

Matt was having more fun tonight than all year. He was the center of attention, a celebrity, and the teenagers fought for his attention. At first he was overwhelmed, then he remembered what his brother did and following Evan's example, Matt answered each person individually, as if he or she were the only one in the room. Most of the group wanted to know about his brother, but Kelly was interested in Matt, which pleased him immensely. Before he left, Matt vowed he would trade Internet names with her so they could keep in touch. He also paid for her meal, and promised Kelly a free shirt when he returned to the concert hall. She reminded him that Evan said he would send someone to get him at the restaurant, so he called Keith on his cell phone and arranged to supply shirts for all ten of the youth. Keith warned Matt that Evan would have a cow, but Matt said he would smooth it over when he returned. So Matt spent the next hour in pleasant conversation with people his own age. However, instead of satisfying him it only whetted his appetite for fellowship with his peers, to live in a real neighborhood, walk to a friend's house, ride a bus to school, be part of a youth group. He dreamed of driving his own car instead of being driven, taking a girl out on a date. Listening to the other teens' casual talk, and knowing this was normal for them, Matt could only sigh and wish he was one of the guys. At home, or rather the apartment in Nashville where Evan and his brothers lived when not on the road, Matt was the youngest resident of the building, and his closest friend was old enough to be his grandfather. There was no one for Matt except Keith and Evan, and though he loved his brothers, he longed to know someone his own age. I have to convince Evan to let me go, he said silently. It's the most important thing in the world to me.

♥

Evan was still in the concert hall when Matt returned and it looked like he wouldn't be done anytime soon, so Matt went to the bus to wait with Keith until they were able to proceed to the hotel.

"What are you working on?" Matt asked Keith as he entered the bus. The older man stared at a piece of paper with such intensity he didn't notice his brother and was startled at the sound of his voice.

"Dude, you scared me," Keith gasped, and handed Matt the paper he was writing. "I've written the words, but I can't for the life of me imagine a tune."

"Keep it with the others," Matt suggested. "Someday you'll find someone who can put these words to music. This is really good, Keith. Totally. You should show it to Evan."

Keith shook his head. "No, it's just something I do to pass the time. He wouldn't be interested."

"Serious, Keith. This is better than Evan." Matt made a mental note to talk to his brother. Keith would never do anything to draw attention, and it was up to Matt to get him the credit he deserved. And if Evan used the songs, Keith would earn royalties, an income of his own. Matt knew Keith better than anyone did; they spent countless hours together. Though Keith never admitted to it, Matt knew his brother wanted to prove himself productive as everyone else but his disability defeated him. Writing was something that Keith could do better than fully functional men of any age, but Keith measured his worth in physical ability.

"Do you mind, bro, if I take this and read it tonight?" Matt tucked it into his pocket before his brother could object. He planned to show Evan a whole stack of papers with Keith's writing on them. Maybe his older brother would see the value of the lyrics, and have confidence that Keith could earn enough to live apart from Evan—in a house with Matt, of course. They could never truly separate, Keith did need care. However, it wasn't necessary for Keith and Matt to be with Evan constantly; they could take care of each other and leave their older brother free to do his job without worrying about them.

"Keith, can I ask you something?" Matt said, seating himself across the table from his brother.

Keith smiled and waited. He too knew the desire of Matt's heart. It wasn't as if it was a secret; lately it was all his brother talked about.

"Don't you ever get tired of life on the road, never sleeping in the same place more than a few days? Don't you wish we could have a home, one home like everyone else?"

Keith tried to think of a fresh way to answer the questions Matt asked him repeatedly. "I guess I don't think about it much," he replied, folding his hands and resting them on the tabletop, then moving again to brush a lock of his sandy blonde hair out of his eyes. "This is the only life I've known since Mom died, and before that we struggled so hard just to live that this is like a permanent vacation. But eventually, yeah, I would like to get off the road and settle down, have a normal life. I just don't see it happening any time soon."

Matt looked at his brother earnestly, his dark eyes intense. "What if we did, you and me? I know mom left insurance money for us, and it's been in trust all these years. We wouldn't have to ask Evan for a thing." He leaned forward and his voice took on an urgent tone. "What if we bought a small house, just big enough for you and me, and stayed there while Evan tours or whatever? I could go to high school, a public one so it wouldn't cost anything, and I'd get a job, maybe you too, and we'd support ourselves, live in a neighborhood, Keith, and go to church on Sundays. What do you think about that?"

"I think it sounds terrific," Keith admitted. "But you and I both know Evan would never agree; he wants us to stay together. He doesn't want to be apart from you and me."

"He'd miss us for sure," Matt said. "But so what? He barely sees us as it is, between concerts, recording in the studio and running his company. He could keep in touch with us by phone or computer, and he could fly home whenever he gets time."

"Sounds like you have it all worked out."

Matt grinned. "I do. I've been thinking about this forever, about a year now." He leaned back on the seat, and reached for a map he had left on the tabletop. "I even picked the town, see?" He handed Keith the map and pointed to a city in northern Indiana.

"My online friend KiriMe lives there and goes to public high school. Her family belongs to a church with an awesome youth group that meets every week and sits together at church, then goes out to eat every Sunday after service. I want that for me."

"Actually," Keith said, his eyes glazing over as he stared at the map, "I would like that too. A home, friends, church, maybe a job..." His voice trailed away. Who would hire him? Keith shrugged off his despair and looked at his brother with determination. "I'll make a deal with you, Matt. If Evan agrees—I'm sure he won't—but if he does, I'll go with you."

"You mean it?" Matt held his breath.

"Yeah." Keith nodded his affirmation. "I'd like to have a home again. I remember our old house in Ohio, and the smell of Mom's cooking. I'm game. If and I mean if you can convince Evan."

"I will, watch me." Matt rose from the table and went back into the concert hall to find his older brother. The crew was finished tearing down the stage gear and equipment, all stacked neatly by the exit to be loaded onto the truck. They would leave within the hour and travel to the next town, where they would sleep and then start the process of setup all over again for the following day. Mitch and Evan sat in a semi-circle talking quietly with the pastors who had sponsored the show. As usual, Evan charmed them and made his promoters feel that it was his pleasure to serve them. Matt moved past the group, hoping to catch Evan's attention, but he was intent on the discussion, so Matt kept going into the darkened auditorium. A movement in the shadows startled him, but he recovered quickly when he saw it was a woman, perhaps in her late twenties or so, sitting in a seat, twisting her hands nervously. This must be the woman who believed God spoke to her. Matt moved to her side and sat.

"Hi, I'm Matt," he said softly as not to frighten her. She bit at her lips and swallowed rapidly.

"Do you know how much longer it will be until he's free?" The woman asked in a quavering voice. Matt wondered how she got past security. Some halls offered no protection at all to the performers.

He shrugged. "They're letting him talk. He could be all night."

She managed a small laugh. "I just need a minute of his time, really. It's important."

Matt nodded. "He'll see you as soon as he can, honest. He has to acknowledge the pastors and people who invited him here to sing. They pay his salary."

The woman looked apologetic. "I'm sorry to be so impatient, but I have to be to work early in the morning."

Matt usually didn't go to bed until morning. "He'll meet with you when he's done, I'm sure. Do you want me to wait with you?"

"I feel so foolish, but who am I to disobey?" She took a deep breath and sighed. "I've never done anything like this before, but God spoke to me and here I am."

"What did he say?" asked Matt, though he already knew the answer.

"He told me..." She hesitated, her fear showing on her face. "...To marry Evan Worthy and give him children. It sounds crazy, I know."

Matt acted nonplused. "And He said to meet him here?"

"Well, I won tickets to the concert, so I knew that was confirmation." The woman looked away. "My husband thinks I've lost my mind."

Matt's eyebrows rose. "You're married?"

She blushed. "Yes, but only on paper. It's just a technicality."

Matt managed not to laugh aloud and embarrass her; she was doing it all on her own. "Ma'am, I have to tell you. Evan is my brother and I know he would never take a woman away from her husband no matter what anyone says. He's like, a scholar of the Bible, and he says God hates divorce."

"I've read that too. But God must know what he's doing." She didn't look at all certain.

Matt answered gently, "No disrespect, but God would not tell you to divorce your husband for any man, let alone Evan. Maybe you should go home and pray about it, 'cause you might have like, screwed up."

The woman sighed. Relief? Matt couldn't be sure.

"I think I'll do that, thanks," she said, rising from her seat. "I can always catch up with Evan in Detroit."

"That sounds reasonable." Matt stood too and waited while she left, then, shaking his head, found his way back to the stage. The gathering of pastors was breaking up, and Evan shook each of their hands as they left.

"I'm starving, Matt!" Evan called when he was free. "Did they leave any food for me?"

"Your crew?" Matt answered doubtfully. "I should have brought something back with me."

"Did you have a good time?" Evan checked his watch as he put his arm around his brother.

"The best. Wait till I tell you about it."

"Let me eat first." Evan grabbed his things and headed out to the bus. "Charles! Let's hit Taco Bell's drive thru on the way to the hotel." He messed Matt's hair. "Then I want to hear all about your night."

Matt pushed his brother away and combed at his hair. "Think you should be eating such greasy food right after you had the flu? Your stomach might not be able to handle it."

"No, I feel great," Evan assured him. "I haven't eaten in two days. I'm so hungry I could eat ten tacos."

Matt was not impressed. "Make sure you keep your bathroom light on tonight. You'll probably be driving the porcelain bus later."

"And I'm not cleaning up after you," Keith called from inside the bus. "I'm beginning to feel like a nurse to all of you."

"I'm hoping we're finally done," Evan said as he boarded. "I can't believe this tour."

Matt and Keith agreed. The end couldn't come soon enough for any of them, but for different reasons.

♥

CHAPTER 2

Sleeping in a hotel was not always an option, but it was preferred over the bus whenever they were able. Keith needed the whirlpool for the pain in his legs, and Matt liked to swim whenever possible. And it was better for Internet access than the bus. Often he couldn't arrange to get a connection from outside a building, and Matt liked to keep in touch with his friends, especially KiriMe. Tonight it was too late to contact her so Matt followed his brothers to the pool area and sat in the whirlpool with them until Evan returned to the room to take care of business.

"It's just you and me again," commented Keith.

"It always is," replied Matt. "I don't know how he can stand being so busy all the time. I'd go ballistic if everyone was after me every waking moment."

Keith moved so the bubbles could soothe his legs. "He buries himself in his work. Evan wouldn't know what to do with spare time, so he doesn't allow himself any."

"Well, we haven't had a vacation in like, ever," Matt grumbled as his body floated upward in the swirling water. "I mean, we've been everywhere but all I've seen is hotels and the back doors of concert halls."

"A vacation for me would be staying at home, sitting on the porch watching the sun rise and set." Keith leaned against the edge of the hot tub and closed his eyes.

Matt slid next to his brother and crossed his arms over the edge of the pool. "That's what I mean, Keith. You and I are tired of living out of a suitcase. Let's get a house."

"In Indiana."

Matt nodded. "I'll show you some houses I've found on the Web."

"School starts soon, though. How would we get settled by then?"

Getting a house and moving was the easy part, thought Matt. It was convincing Evan that would take time. "I'm praying about it. God can do anything. Evan listens to him, not the other way around."

"Don't be too sure," teased Keith. "Evan's been the boss of this family for a long time. Even God knows that."

"God and everyone else," agreed Matt.

♥

When Elizabeth Beers died suddenly almost thirteen years ago, none of her children was able to say goodbye or be with her in her last moments. Though stricken with grief, Evan took care of all the funeral arrangements, insurance papers, probate, and became the legal guardian of his younger brothers. All of them were devastated by the loss of their mother, but Evan was determined to take care of his brothers and make up for her loss if at all possible. He was already playing guitar for his church and in coffeehouses around the county, in addition to his full time job and school, but when Mitch entered his life, things changed abruptly. Mitch convinced Evan that his future was in Christian music, and the need to support his brothers, coupled with his desire to keep his family together at all costs, helped him to decide to jump into the music arena with both feet. What a better way to earn a living than to do what he loved best, spread the good news of Christ's redeeming love in song, and at the same time have enough money to take care of his brothers? At first, Evan envisioned himself with buckets of money, he and his brothers living in comfort, but two years later, after numerous gigs, hours of auditions, appearances at too many churches to count, and love offerings that might get him a tank of gas if he was lucky, Evan nearly despaired of ever supporting his brothers with his music. Then it happened. Almost overnight, in fact, when a well-known performer took a shine to him and allowed Evan to open for her at a concert. He had been praying and fasting (he couldn't afford to feed all three of them anyway), seeking God for his future. The hand of God moved for him, a record company in Nashville invited him to audition, and the rest, as they say, was history. For everyone but him. Evan sweated over every word of his songs, each note, every single chord of music. He did everything expected of him, meeting with fans, press, and endless concerts. He let them change his hair, his clothes, even the way he talked, whatever it took to become the success he was today, all so that his brothers, who had struggled alongside him could find comfort and ease in their lives. Nothing mattered more than they, except the God who kept all of them in His care, and everything Evan did was for and because of them. And, as if God had personally ordained it, Evan's music sold, sold, sold. He wrote songs, one after another, enough to fill ten CD's in his first few years alone. Some were even now being used as worship choruses in churches, and there was barely any who had not heard his name at least once. Evan was Christian music. He learned early in his career what was expected of him, and used every tool God had given him for both his advantage and for the furthering of the Gospel. He was charismatic, personable, connected with his audiences, and never forgot where he came from or who helped him get to where he was. Or that his success and the future of his company depended on one person alone—Evan Beers, now Evan Worthy. He was his own industry, and his hand was in every aspect of his career from publicity to sales; success or failure, he was responsible for both. Although he was very careful about whom he hired to work for or with him, when the rubber hit the road, it was all Evan Worthy, and he did not take this lightly.

Evan felt as strongly about his brothers. He was unquestionably the head of the family, the provider, parent, and role model for both Keith and Matt, and kept a close watch over both of them. It was Evan's duty to see that they were properly fed, clothed schooled, and that Keith received proper medical care. When Keith needed surgery on his legs, Evan stopped everything until he was well enough to travel again, and then resumed his career, even more of a hero because of the sacrifice he made for his brother. Matt was the unofficial mascot of the record company, a mischievous but adorable scamp, almost a miniature Evan in looks, but with a much more refined sense of humor. While Evan was all business, Matt was all play, and his antics kept everyone around him in laughter. Evan despaired of ever taming his wild little brother, but as Matt matured, he learned to bring attention to himself in ways that left his older brother with most of his signature hair.

And since Evan worried constantly about his brothers, he allowed no one to hurt or humiliate them in any way. All the people who toured with Evan were his employees, and answered to him alone. So when one of the stage hands on his third tour complained to Evan that Keith's effort to help the crew set up the stage was causing the rest of them to slow, and that he was constantly in the way, Evan agreed that there was too many workers on stage and promptly fired the man. Keith argued for the man's job, saying he was in the way, and he would find something else to do, but Evan would not be swayed. He said that employees were replaceable, but Keith wasn't, and sent the man home with a one-way bus ticket and severance pay. It was the only time Evan had ever fired anyone, and it left him shook for days, though he didn't allow the others to know how upset he was. The rest of the crew learned fast not to cross Evan's family if they valued their job. Instead of being thankful that Evan had defended him, Keith then felt helpless, useless, and tried his best to be invisible the rest of the tour. He and his slow, painful gait stayed hidden in the shadows, his disability reminding him daily of how much of a burden he was to not only himself, but also Evan and all the others. He offered to drop out of the tour and wait for Evan in Nashville but his brother would not hear of it and declared the discussion over.

"You're staying with me, and that's final," Evan said at the time. "No one is breaking up our family."

Evan then hired someone to take care of Keith on the road, which only made the brother sink further into despair. Though his walk was slow and painful, he valued what little freedom he had, and the nurse took it upon herself to see that he wasn't left alone for a moment, or move a muscle for himself. His mental attitude deteriorated and so did his health, and it wasn't until Matt intervened and convinced Evan to get rid of the nurse that Keith was able to pull himself out of his slump. Once the nurse was gone life returned to normal, as much as it could be for Keith. He was himself again, happy, content, uncomplaining, and Evan breathed a sigh of relief. Because in the back of Evan's mind he wondered just how long Keith would actually live, if his disability were only the first of his medical problems. Years later, Keith was robust, healthy, for which Evan thanked God; his only real problem was his inability to walk. Even so, Evan kept a close watch on his brother.

♥

It was nearing four in the morning, bedtime, so Keith and Matt found their way back to the rooms while the rest of the hotel slumbered or woke to begin their day. The men would sleep all morning and awake somewhere around noon. The room that Evan occupied opened into his brothers', and the door was never locked to them. Both Matt and Keith said goodnight to Evan, then went to their beds. Evan was tired also, but with this tour soon to end, it was necessary for him to plan the next phase of his career, and that was a new CD. Tonight, however he was staring at the wall, his mind blank—no words, no tunes, and no inspiration. Nothing. He felt empty, spiritually bankrupt, something he hadn't experienced in twelve years. Is this what my life has come to—so busy doing God's work I haven't any time for Him?

Evan sighed and massaged the back of his neck with his hand. Pressure. Always the pressure to produce, to make the next CD better, more stunning than the previous. So much was riding on his success; not his income, he could live comfortably with past record sales, concerts and his investments. However, the rest of his employees depended on his accomplishment; they were not rich, just trying to raise their families. Mitch represented only him, though there was talk of his branching out into other areas. Evan and he had tossed around the idea of owning a recording studio and record label. One would lead to the other, they hoped. And there was a good friend, the man who owned the studio in which Evan recorded, who was very close to retirement, and had handpicked Evan to buy the studio if and when he did retire. That was in the future, however and for now, many people depended on him, expected perfection from him, and looked to him for answers.

"What would they think if they saw me now?" Evan wondered aloud.

"Did you call me?" Keith said from the other room.

"Just talking to myself," Evan assured him.

"That's comforting," Matt remarked. "Now you're your own audience."

"Always was," chuckled Keith as he rolled in the bed and pulled the covers to his chin.

Evan turned out his light and lay on top of the bedcovers, waiting for his brothers to fall asleep so he could relax and rest. He never retired for the evening without being sure his brothers were safely in bed; he needed to know for his own peace of mind that they were well. Matt was on the verge of adulthood, and needed his older brothers' guidance more than ever; this ludicrous idea of quitting the tour and buying a home made Evan bristle. How could he ensure their safety and care if he was not with them? What about Keith? Who would watch him for medical problems, and see that he received appropriate treatment? What if he fell and couldn't get back up? Evan shuddered, and knew he could not live with himself if anything happened to Keith or Matt; he was responsible before God for both of them. He could not fail them, not now, not ever. They were everything to him, and more important to Evan than his own being, and if that meant that he would not have a life of his own, then so be it. He harbored no illusions about having a wife or family; Evan was raising the one he did have, this was what God had called him to do. He would not admit to anyone, even himself how utterly alone he felt, how inadequate, how much he ached for someone to comfort him. Only in his most unguarded moments did this thoughts surface, to be brought under submission by strong discipline. He reminded himself that any woman who married him would become a mother of sorts to the other two, and he couldn't imagine any woman wanting to take on a ready-made family of adults—a teenager in need of discipline and guidance and a disabled man who could never live on his own. It was unfair even to expect someone to be willing to give her life for the three of them and offer nothing in return. Therefore, Evan resigned himself to the love of his brothers and what he could receive from the fans that lavished attention on him. It would have to be enough, and maybe someday, by the grace of God, this aching, gnawing wound he called loneliness would disappear, and he wouldn't have to fight it anymore. He wasn't the first man of God called to a life of sacrifice, and it wasn't too much to ask when he weighed it against what Jesus Christ had done for him. Keep busy, he told himself, so busy that you fall asleep on your feet, and this will keep your thoughts at bay.

The sun was creeping onto the horizon, his brothers were fast asleep, last night's show was over, and another one awaited him tonight. Follow the formula...don't let them know you are spiritually bankrupt...trust the message...God can use a donkey; He can surely use me...thoughts ran together as the blackness of sleep finally overtook him.

♥

CHAPTER 3

One week and five cities later, Evan was ready to tear out his carefully styled hair. The last dates of a tour were always difficult; this was expected with all the mixed emotions the crewmembers experienced—elation at their impending vacation, sadness at the loss of each other's company. Work quality declined as the crew found it difficult to concentrate or care as much anymore. Some had already departed, the temptation to be finished too great, or other projects pressed, making musicians and crewmembers bolt. Evan was operating on a skeleton crew. One of the biggest losses to him was Moira, whose illness went from stomach flu to something more serious, and she needed more care than she could get on the road, so Evan flew her home to be with her family. Gloria gamely tried to do Evan's makeup and hair, but the best she could manage was to keep his clothes clean, pressed and ready for costume changes. Evan didn't know how to do his hair, it was styled for him always, so finally in frustration he left the concert hall, went into a barbershop and returned with less hair than Charles the bus driver, who was bald on top. It was not an ugly cut, just short, but the sight of him brought a collective gasp from his crew and brothers.

"What?" He thundered, making them all jump. "No one's coming to see my hair. It's the MESSAGE."

"Maybe so, but the chicks will be wearing black armbands," Matt quipped. "Kiss our next concert tour goodbye."

Evan shot him a look and went to check on the sound levels. Keith and Matt just looked at each other and shrugged. The women would have a fit, and Matt imagined CD sales plummeting. Of course, this could be a good thing; maybe with all the troubles Evan had endured in this tour he would want some time off, and Matt had the perfect plan. He slipped away to the bus to e-mail his friend KiriMe while the rest of the crew finished final preparations for the night. Matt had sweet-talked the hall manager into allowing him to tap into her phone lines and access his online account. KiriMe sent him pictures of her school, church, the town, and every member of the youth group. She had long ago sent him a picture of herself that Matt kept in his wallet, and he retrieved it when he went online so he could see her when they conversed. But he had never heard her voice, or asked her real name, how could he when he had to conceal his own identity to protect Evan? She told him that he knew her name, to figure it out, but if it was Kiri, he had never heard of that before. She knew his first name was Matt, and he sent his own picture to her, but she was skeptical that it was actually him, he was too hot to be true, she said. He assured her it was indeed him, and that he was the best looking of the brothers, though not the most humble. He also told her all the things he could without letting on about Evan, that Matt was the youngest of three, an orphan, and that he lived on the road with his brother who traveled for a living. He shared with KiriMe his deepest dreams and hopes, the very essence of his soul—without revealing anything she could use to identify him. He couldn't tell her; no one knew about Evan, and honestly, he wanted to keep it that way. KiriMe liked Matt for himself; she liked his sense of humor, she complimented him on his writing skills, told him she was nearly in love with him. Matt was crazy about her too, and hoped with all his heart that she was as wonderful in person as she seemed online. When he moved into her town, they would be together at school and church and he wanted them to be as close then as they were now. They were almost best friends.

♥

"Oh, man, guys...we've got a problem." Evan was onstage, it was after intermission, and this portion of the show featured just him and a piano. As he put his hands to the keys and played the first note, a string broke, one he needed for every song, and the lights were already on him.

The audience heard his words and laughed, thinking it part of the show. Evan felt panic rise in him as his crew scrambled to find and fix the broken string in record time. Someone threw Evan an acoustic guitar, as Evan prayed frantically that the piano would be fixed before he ran out of ideas. He played a few ditties and told horrible jokes to the audience while keeping an eye on his stagehands and pleading silently with them to hurry. Finally, one of the men signaled to him that the instrument was ready, and he switched to the piano, but he was so flustered by the change in program that he missed his cue and had to start the song all over again.

"Sorry folks, I've only played that a few thousand times. I'm hoping to have it memorized before the Lord returns," he teased. "Now watch me forget the words to the song. Ya'all pray for me, this has been one tough tour. My entire crew had the stomach flu and we've seen more public bathrooms up close and personal than most people I know." He played a few bars of music. "And let me tell you, public bathrooms are no place to be sick."

The audience roared, and Evan smiled at them. "I had to cut all my hair off today because the only person who knows how to style it dropped out of the tour on account of illness. So I apologize for my appearance." The women cheered anyway.

He rubbed his head. "I don't know; I just might keep it like this. I kinda like the wash and go style." He went into his song, and the rest of the concert went smoothly, on schedule until the very end, when Evan felt the prompting of the Lord. It had been so long he almost missed it, but God had other plans. So he stopped the show just before the last number.

"We've come here tonight for one purpose only, to lift up and glorify the name of Jesus Christ." The audience clapped their agreement. "Now, you can't do that, if you don't know Him. And I think some of you are ready today to commit yourselves to the lordship of Jesus." He waved to his band to stop playing. "These tough lookin' guys at the edge of the stage know something everyone else needs to know; that to die is gain, and you gotta give up your life to find it. So if you want to give your life to Christ right now, or just have questions you need answers to, come forward. Meet with these guys. Follow them to a room where you can talk to them in private, all night long if you want. Nothing is more important than your eternal destination, and no time is better than now to secure your place in Heaven."

He walked to the edge of the stage to be with the bikers. "Don't be afraid of the way they look, they're here to serve you...But if I met one of them in a dark alley and they told me to get saved, I sure wouldn't argue!"

The Hellstoppers grinned and faced the crowd. Evan told his band to play 'Just as I am', the signature song of Billy Graham, and stood back to watch as a stream of people came forward. Evan thanked God quietly for allowing him to be used to bring souls into the kingdom, feeling the tug on his heart that he always did in a moment like this. Seeing people surrender to Christ made it all worthwhile, and reminded him of the call on his own life. As much as it meant to Evan, it meant far more to the One who had given his life for them, and Evan paid homage to Christ as the front filled with seekers. When it seemed that all who would have come forward did, Evan directed them to follow the stage manager to the room they had hastily prepared, and then Evan thanked and dismissed the crowd. The usual backstage activity followed, but Evan cut it short to speak to the new converts, to share from his heart encouragement and teaching about their new faith in Christ. He spent so much time with these people that he forgot about his interview with South Bend's Pulse FM radio station, but Mitch covered for him and promised to bring him live to the studio the next morning for an on air interview. That meant only a few hours sleep for Evan, but Mitch knew that his friend's integrity demanded that he make up for slighting the radio station.

♥

Matt and Keith waited in the bus for Evan. Tonight they were both tired, and Matt's friend KiriMe was online, so his interest was in the computer and nothing else this evening. He conversed with her most of the night, even during the concert, not revealing that he was within minutes of her hometown. It killed Matt not to tell, her, but as much as he would like finally to meet, it would have to wait until he settled into Elkhart. Evan's schedule was too tight, there was another concert tomorrow in Anderson, Indiana, and yet another one the next night. Matt vowed it wouldn't be much longer until he convinced Evan to allow him and Keith to go, and he would have to bide his time until then.

Hello? You still there?

Matt blinked his eyes to focus again. Sorry I was thinking about my plan to move to your city. I want it so bad. My brother is real pig-headed sometimes. He doesn't like the idea at all.

Well I do. Your brother is not your boss. He can't hold you hostage.

Matt laughed. You don't know my brother. His word is law, and his employees jump when he says to. I don't want to hurt him either, KM. He's done so much for me and never asked for anything.

But you have a life too, ThreeBeers. He has to understand.

I know. It's hard. But my other brother, Keith said he'd come along and live with me. All we have to do is convince Evan.

I'll pray you will. I know what it's like to have a bossy older brother—well sister in my case. Wait till you meet Cam. She and your brother sound almost alike.

Two of Evan? Scary.

She is. I tell her all the time she'll never find someone to marry with the way she has to be the boss all the time. Tonight she told me I could only be on the Web for a half-hour!

We missed that by a long shot.

Yep. Lol. She's in her room, sulking and listening to Evan Worthy. Yuck. She had tickets to his concert in South Bend tonight, but wouldn't go because my dad is sick again. Like I couldn't take care of him. All he does is sleep anyway.

Your dad is sick?

He has cancer and is on chemo. It makes him sicker than the other thing, so I don't know why he bothers.

KM, without chemotherapy your dad will die.

No, he can't. My mom already did, from the same thing. God wouldn't do that to us.

Matt knew it could happen. Take good care of him KM, he's the only dad you've got. I never had one, only Evan. It's not the same.

My dad is still young, at least that's if you consider 50 young. I don't. He'll be okay.

So your sister likes Evan Worthy?

Likes? More like worships. He's okay, you know, but we have to hear his music day and night, really loud when she sings along. And TB, she CANNOT sing! I'm surprised the neighbors haven't called the police!

I know how that is, my brother Keith can't sing either.

"Hey!" said Keith.

"Don't read over my shoulder," Matt admonished him.

"I can't help it, you make these funny faces while you type and I want to see why."

"Privacy," Matt said indignantly. "I don't read what you're writing."

"Yes you do." Keith swatted his brother's head.

Matt slapped at him also then went back to his computer. Keith is reading this so be careful what you say.

Cam just came in the kitchen. She looks like she's crying but I doubt it. Cam never cries.

Is she worried about your dad?

No, she's mad she missed the concert but she won't let us know that. As if we can't tell. She's been walking around sighing all night.

It wasn't that good anyway.

How would you know?

Um, I don't...but if you tell her that she will feel better.

I just did. Now she's giving me a lecture on Evan Worthy's music. This could go on all night. Oh, great. She wants me to get off the computer.

Sorry. Want me to talk to her?

She'd just yell at you too. I have to go, Cruella has spoken.

Talk to you tomorrow?

After youth group. Wish you were here with me.

Me too. I'm working on it.

Promise?

On my life.

See ya.

Bye.

Matt logged off the computer. "She had to go," he explained.

Keith looked at his watch. "The concert will be ending soon. We should get back before Evan notices we're not there."

"He won't. I don't feel like going in there. Are we going to sleep on the bus tonight?" Matt opened the small refrigerator and found a snack.

"I hope so. I'm beat, and I just want to go to bed."

"Your legs okay?" Matt asked, his mouth full.

"I took something." Keith stretched out on the sofa. "I'll wait for Evan and then turn in."

"I'm waiting for him too. I want to talk to him."

"About..." Keith left the sentence unfinished.

"You know. Moving. KiriMe wants me to move now. School starts in a few weeks. I gotta get settled before then."

"Aw, Matt. I'm too tired to listen to you and Evan argue. Can't you wait until tomorrow?" Keith shut his eyes.

"No way. I'm pumped. I prayed real hard, and I have a feeling tonight is the night he's going to say yes." Matt opened a pop can and turned on the television. "Want to watch a video?"

"No, I just want to sleep."

Matt watched his brother carefully but he showed no sign of pain or illness.

"I'm fine, Matt," Keith said, his eyes still closed. "I'm not going to die just because I'm tired."

"If you do, can I have your room?"

Keith threw a pillow at him.

♥

Evan climbed on the bus an hour later, when Keith was asleep and Matt pacing.

"Might as well go to bed," Evan said to his brother with more than a trace of exhaustion in his voice. "We're here until morning, and then I do an interview at a station in South Bend. We won't leave for Anderson until after that."

"I know you're tired, Evan, but I want to talk to you." Matt sat at the table and waited for his brother to do the same. He didn't. Evan said nothing, but Matt could tell he was going into battle mode.

He plunged ahead anyway. "I've been thinking. We should take a few weeks off when this tour is over, and chill. Just the three of us, hanging together, doing nothing."

"Matt, I can't. I can spare a week, at the very most, but you know I need to get started on this next CD." His lips tightened into a line. "I have commitments."

"You have commitments. Keith and I don't. Why can't he and I stay behind in this area and look for a house?"

Evan groaned. "We've been through this before. I want you with me. End of discussion." He moved toward the rear of the bus.

But Matt wasn't about to let it rest, and followed. "Why? Keith and I hang around doing nothing. We're bored! You're the one with the big career and the adoring public. You don't need us. And I want to be around guys my own age."

Evan stopped and turned. "I know you get bored, and I'm sorry. I'll assign you a job if that's what you want. And hire you a tutor so you don't have to do lessons alone."

Matt stood defiantly in front of his brother. "I want to go to school in a building, with teachers and desks and a cafeteria that serves terrible food. I want to have friends and go to football games, have my own locker and hang out at the mall after class."

"It's not possible." Evan glared at him. "I give you everything. How can you be so ungrateful?"

Matt crossed his arms and frowned. "I'm not ungrateful. You gave Keith and me all you could. But Evan, we have our own lives, separate from you."

"Our lives are with and in each other," Evan said tersely. "And you're forgetting that you are a minor. I'm your legal guardian, responsible for you. How can I take care of you if we're not together?"

Matt stared at his brother. "Make Keith my legal guardian. He can take care of me."

"Keith?" Evan sputtered angrily. "He can't even..."

"Take care of myself?" Keith finished for him, as he rose from the couch, his own voice raised.

"I didn't mean it like that."

Keith stood and limped toward Evan. "How did you mean it? That I'm less of a person because I can't walk?"

"No, Keith. You know what I mean." Evan's chest felt tight and he put his fist to it. "Who will take you to your doctor's appointments? What if you fall? How will you get Matt to and from school if he misses the bus?"

Keith's eyes flashed with fury. "Ever hear of a cab? Or think I can use a phone? And I am capable of getting up when I fall, I've done it plenty when you aren't around, which by the way is most of the time."

Evan was stricken. Keith had fallen? "Guys, listen. I need you. We're a team. Mom would want us together."

Matt touched his brother's arm. "Mom knows you've done a great job. You took care of us just like she would, maybe even better. But now we need something more."

Evan looked at Keith. "You? You want to go too?"

Keith nodded, this time with determination. "You don't need us, Evan. And we need something you can't give. A place to call home. I know you don't think so, but we're people too, with needs of our own."

"Yes, I do think that," Evan replied, his voice breaking. "It's because of you I've worked so hard. I made darn sure you wanted for nothing. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, especially since you were so young when mom died. I've done my best to make up for losing her."

"Evan, you're my brother. Not my father or mother. No one will replace them." Keith pushed his way to his sibling. "I'm glad for the last twelve years. It's been a wild ride; Matt and I are real proud of you. Now give us a chance to prove ourselves."

Evan hit his head against the wall of the room. "I can't believe this," he sighed miserably. "These last weeks on the tour have been heck, I'm starting a new CD with zero songs, and I'm losing my brothers."

"Not losing us," said Matt. "Come with us. We don't have to live in Nashville, not with computers, phones, and faxes. And you might like living in a normal neighborhood again, like we used to."

Shaking his head, Evan scoffed. "How would I live in a normal neighborhood? I can't even grocery shop or go to church without causing a scene. Just getting out of the car in my driveway would cause a mob to converge. And I have commitments in Nashville. My company is there. I've got this new CD to work on."

Matt looked at his brother earnestly. "The CD isn't going to happen anyway without songs. Come with us, Evan. Listen to Keith's poems. I'm not joking, if you put them to music they'll sell like wildfire. I've always been right about your songs before, remember?"

Evan nodded.

"Let me go to school while you and Keith work on songs, and if it doesn't work out, I'll quit and we'll all go home. I promise."

"Matt, I don't do this because I want to deny you anything, you know that. And Keith, I do want to see your songs, I just haven't had time."

Keith sank onto the nearest chair. "It's okay, I just write to keep myself busy when I'm alone."

"Not even!" exclaimed Matt. "He's good, Evan. I'll show you." Matt ran to his bunk and pulled out a box filled with Keith's notes.

"I even saved the ones he threw out," Matt said proudly as he returned. "Keith could make a good living selling these lyrics to singers."

"Not to anyone but me," declared Evan, taking the box. "If they're as good as you say they are I want them for myself."

"I'm not sure they're good at all," sighed Keith. "Don't get your hopes up."

Evan thumbed through them. "We'll see. Right now I'm so tired I could drop, and I have an early morning interview."

Matt grinned. "At least you don't have to worry about doing your hair."

Evan instinctively put his hand up to his head. "I must have been out of my mind," he moaned. "My record label will kill me."

"I kind of like it," volunteered Keith. "It's not that pretty-boy look."

"Pretty boy!" Evan punched at his brother. "I can still whip you."

"Since when?" laughed Keith. "All you use those arms for is strumming a guitar."

"And writing checks," Evan deadpanned. "It seems like it's always pay day for the crew."

"Speaking of payday," Matt intoned, giving Evan a hopeful look. "How about an advance on my allowance?"

"In your dreams." Evan stretched and moved into his bedroom. "I'll think about what you told me. But I have to tell you, I'm real hurt that you're even thinking about leaving."

"We want you with us." Matt followed him into the room. "You need time off too."

"I can't, Matt. But I understand you guys can't follow me forever. We'll talk more about it tomorrow." He waited while Matt left the room, then closed the door and lay on the bed. This can't be happening. I thought we would be together forever, the three of us. How can they even think about separating after all I've done for them? He sighed to himself. I can't say that. They've followed me all these years without a word of complaint. I know they get bored with little for them to do. Life on the road is crazy and the hours we keep obscene to say the least. I know what it's like to be a teenager, though I never really got to enjoy it either. How can I deny Matt what I myself longed for at his age? But what about Keith? He can't be alone, no matter what he thinks. One fall could do him in; the doctor said so. How can I insure his care and health? Whom could I trust? Evan could afford to hire help for them, but who? How does one interview for a position that includes cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring, discipline and nursing skills? That would be the only way I could ever let them go, and I don't know how I'll live without them if I do.

Evan felt overwhelmed by sadness and despair as he prayed for sleep to overtake him. Everything was so perfect, up until this tour. Now I have no songs, no plans for the new CD, I feel a million miles away from God, and I'm about to lose my brothers. What are you doing to me, God? Is there something you're trying to tell me? No answer came from the heavens, so Evan allowed himself to fall into a troubled sleep.

♥

CHAPTER 4

"Good morning, sleep well?" Mitch asked as he boarded the bus.

Evan shook his head. "Are we taking the bus?"

Mitch pointed to a white stretch limo waiting outside the door. "Pulse FM sent it. They didn't want your bus to get mobbed when listeners hear you're at the station."

"That's thoughtful. I'm ready." The limo driver held the rear door for the men. Evan greeted him and entered, then sat heavily on the seat.

Mitch joined him and listened to Evan's loud sigh. He raised his eyebrows. "Something you want to talk about?"

"This has been a rough tour, especially these last few weeks."

"I couldn't agree more." Mitch reached into the small refrigerator and removed an orange juice. "I can't wait to get home to my own bed."

"You too?" Evan looked at his manager. "Mitch, let me ask. Do you ever want to settle down, live in one town all year?"

"I do, basically. I don't travel nearly as much as you do. And I have Gloria to go home to, so that's my incentive to be there whenever possible." He sipped the orange juice just as the limo pulled forward, and spilled some on his shirt. "Figures. Glad it's radio and not television."

Evan smiled faintly, and then continued his inquiry. "Do you think I travel too much?"

Mitch looked at Evan curiously. "Are you saying you want out?"

"No, not at all. This is my life." Evan leaned his head on the back of the seat. "But Matt and Keith, they're saying they want to settle down in one town and not tour with me anymore."

"They've lived on the road for a very long time," Mitch agreed. "It hasn't been easy on either of them. You can't blame them for wanting something permanent."

Evan sighed again. "I don't. But I can't imagine going anywhere without them. They're a part of me; I practically raised Keith and Matt."

"Keith is only a few years younger than you."

"Five. But he's..."

"Disabled?" Mitch finished the sentence. "He can't walk well. But he's smart, normal in every other way. He's been in your shadow too long, Evan. It's time you stopped sheltering him and let him find his own way in life."

"I can't, he's fragile," Evan protested.

"Not as fragile as you think," Mitch replied. "And even if he is, you can't deny him the right to live before he dies." Mitch finished the juice and put the bottle on the floor. "Let me tell you, Evan. I'm with your brothers almost as much as you. I watch them too. And I've seen Keith, hiding in the shadows, trying not to be a bother, but his face gives him away. He wants to be just like the rest of us."

"I try to let him."

Mitch chuckled. "No you don't, Evan, no offense. You reinforce to him a message that he is useless, helpless."

Evan opened his mouth to protest, but Mitch put his hand up. "Don't get mad, guy. I'm your friend, and I love you like a brother. So I'm going to be honest here, for your own sake. Keith won't ever tell you, but he resents being treated like a cripple. He can never prove his worth because he wants to please you, and the only way he can do that is to let you take care of him."

"He acts worse than he is for me?"

Mitch took a breath and plunged ahead. "Not on purpose. But I see it. When you're not around, he's much more self-sufficient."

Evan considered this for a moment. "I'm holding him back."

"Some." Mitch smiled slightly. "He's a man, Evan. With normal desires. I've seen him looking at some of the women backstage and at the fairs."

'I do not want to hear this," Evan said.

"You need to know. He's twenty-six, and bound to fall in love sometime."

"No way!" Evan frowned. "I never thought about it, with... oh, I'm doing it again."

"His legs are not all there is to him." Mitch rolled the limo window down. "It's hot in here."

"That's because you haven't sat still since we left." Evan rolled his window down too. "Why doesn't Keith ever say anything to me? And how come I don't know these things?"

"He's afraid you will disapprove."

Evan agreed. "I probably would."

The air felt wonderful, invigorating. Mitch breathed deeply.

Evan laughed at his manager's face as he took in the fresh air. "You look like a monkey when you do that. I don't understand why Keith thinks he's such a nobody; he's a good looking guy with lots of character, a better man than me, really."

"But all anyone ever sees when you're around is you, Evan. You are the star, the face that goes with the voice on the radios and ipods. You are the main attraction, the center of attention. Women naturally go for you."

"Like I'm some catch," Evan said self-depreciatively. "Do you think if I left Keith on his own something might happen for him?"

"I think you should at least give him a chance. And I know Matt's been driving you crazy about this school thing. What would it hurt to let them go for a while? You need to concentrate on this next CD and your company for the rest of the year anyway."

Evan put his head in his hands. "I don't know, Mitch. A couple of months ago, I was on top of the world. Today I feel like things are spinning out of control."

Mitch put his arm around his friend. "Things aren't that bad. You must have the flu again."

"I'm serious, Mitch. My brothers are everything to me. What will I do without them?"

"Same thing you do every day, except tuck them into bed."

Evan laughed. "They tell you that?"

Mitch grinned. "I know all your secrets, thanks to Matt. I know everything about you and your brothers. And I know about the woman last week that was waiting for you after the show."

"I didn't even see her. Was she pretty?"

"Pretty married." Mitch laughed. "A bit nuts. Matt handled her, and talked her out of it."

"Matt?" Evan looked at his manager in surprise.

Mitch nodded. "Your little brother is a lot like you, Evan. The kid's got a head on his shoulders."

The limo pulled into the radio station.

"This station is part of a world-wide ministry," Mitch informed him. "They also own the hall you performed in last night. And that wonderful piano."

Evan groaned. "Don't remind me! I haven't had to scramble like that in years. I remembered your advice to me when I first started singing. Never let them see you sweat."

"Leave 'em laughing and they'll remember you forever," added Mitch. "It turned out good though, especially the end."

"We used to do that all the time," Evan reflected as the limo stopped. "All those gigs at churches, coffee shops, anywhere we were invited. And we always opened the altar for an invitation. Why did we stop?"

"Because you got so big they were coming forward just to meet you, and it caused riots, remember? The sincere ones were getting lost in the crowd."

"Oh, yeah." Evan waited as the driver opened the door and let Mitch out first. The station manager and all of the employees assembled and shook hands with Evan before retuning inside for his interview. The building seemed oddly small, with many rooms and offices, and the station's studio was just as small as the rest. An extra folding chair was set up between the station's on-air talent and across the hall in another room was a table full of donuts, pastries and coffee.

"Help yourself," said the manager, Andy.

Evan chose a bagel and bit into it while they crossed the hall to the studio, explaining that it was really the middle of the night to him, in entertainer hours. A few of the DJ's commiserated, saying they did the midnight shift and this was their bedtime also. Evan sat between the station's morning and mid-morning personnel, Molly and Zack, who greeted him heartily and explained how they would like to conduct the interview. Evan had been through hundreds and learned early on that it was best to follow the interviewers, to relax and let this be their show. Molly asked Evan if there were anything in particular he would like to discuss.

"Before we go on air, I'd like to apologize for making you wait until today to talk with me."

All the station personalities assured him this was a much better option, having him live on the air.

"The most important thing we do is to lead people to Christ," Andy said. "You made us all proud last night, stopping your concert so those who wanted to could come forward and receive salvation."

"I felt God's leading," Evan explained. He didn't let them know it was the first time in years he had heard God.

Molly reached for a switch. "Ready? We'll start right after this next song." She introduced one of Evan's most popular tunes, and added a teaser. "He's here in the studio! Evan Worthy! Call everyone you know to listen!"

She pointed the microphone at him.

"Hi, folks," Evan said simply.

Molly turned the microphone off. "That ought to get them excited." They chatted during the song, until the station's secretary darted into the room. She said the phone lines were all lit up; did he want to talk to the listeners?

"Uh, I guess," Evan hesitated. "I'm game, but the last time I talked live to callers they didn't screen them and we had a few crank calls. They made me look like a geek, not that it's hard to do."

"I doubt that very much," Molly said, batting her lashes at him. He laughed. "Although you might take some flack from female listeners for cutting off that gorgeous hair."

Evan touched his head. "Yeah, I'm hearing it already from my brother, and my record label is probably freaking. But believe me, it was a decision born of desperation!"

"Sounds like something to discuss on air," Molly decided. "Hold that thought."

The song ended, and Molly launched into the interview, asking Evan easy questions, such as where he was headed with the tour, and what his next plans were. And of course about his hair. He answered her confidently, humorously, letting her and Zack decide where the conversation led. When she asked him about future plans, Evan told her honestly that he would be producing other artists, but he himself was not yet working on his next CD, though he needed to get started.

"My brothers want to take some time off, you know, stop seeing the world. A vacation to them is staying home."

"And you?" asked Molly. "Are you ready for a rest?"

"I can't, yet. Even when I'm at home I'm a busy guy."

Molly leaned forward and smiled. "What about a Mrs. Worthy? You're the biggest catch in the music world. Any plans to settle down and start a family?"

Evan laughed. "No, Molly. I heard you're already taken."

"Only for fifteen years. He'll get over it," she teased.

He smiled and stretched. "Tell your husband he's safe. I have no time in my schedule for anything but work. But, hey. I've got two single brothers who would be happy to take up the slack for me."

"I met Matt last night," Molly commented. "What a cutie! If I was ten years younger..."

"Try twenty," quipped Zack.

"He's a great guy," Evan agreed. "And he's ready to live like the rest of the teenagers; about to get his driver's license. So pray for him and stay off the streets."

Zack opened the phone lines to the listeners, and to Evan's relief they were screened well, and no callers embarrassed him until the last call from his brother Matt who instructed him to bring donuts.

"He's so demanding," teased Evan.

"So Matt, how does it feel to be Evan Worthy's brother?" Molly asked.

"Evan who?" Matt replied. "Oh that Evan. I was thinking of my brother, Evan who wakes up in the morning looking like death warmed over and smells like...you don't want to know."

"Thanks, Matt. I'm going to kill you when I get home."

"It's my job to keep you humble, bro. We can't afford a new bus just to fit your big head."

The station crew laughed heartily.

"Maybe someday we'll be interviewing you, Matt. Do you want to be an entertainer like your brother?"

"No, not at all. But pay me well enough and I'll tell you all his secrets."

"That's a dollar well spent," chuckled Evan. "Eat something healthy for breakfast or you won't get a single donut."

"Always ordering me around," sighed Matt. "He's so difficult."

"We sure enjoyed having him," Molly said. "But we understand you need to move on to Anderson for your next concert tonight."

"Yep. Almost finished with the tour."

"Stop by anytime you're in South Bend," Molly invited.

"We'll do that," said Evan. The interview ended, but Molly continued with the morning show. The rest of the crew thanked Evan for his time and walked him to the station doors. A mob had gathered outside the building and the secretary had locked the doors.

"What do we do now?" she asked the station manager.

"It's okay," replied Evan. "These people pay my salary; I can't afford to alienate them. I'll say hello before I leave."

"We sure could use those Hellstoppers now," observed Mitch. "Try to keep order, and I'll try to keep them from ripping Evan's clothes off."

"This was my favorite shirt," Evan lamented as they opened the doors. Mitch left first and spoke to the crowd. A line formed, and each fan was given a chance to talk to Evan, have something autographed, or take a picture. This set Evan's schedule back a bit, so the bus was summoned to the station to save time.

Finally Evan was on the bus and able to catch a nap.

♥

The contest was closer this time, though Keith won as always.

"I'm almost as strong as you now, admit it," Matt said as Keith let go of his arm.

"I just let you think that," Keith laughed. "You're still weenie boy."

"Rematch."

Keith crossed his arms. "What are you, a glutton for punishment?"

Matt sat back and turned on the television set. He flipped through the channels but found mostly static. "We are definitely getting cable when we move."

"We have it in Nashville," Keith reminded him.

The bus had pulled into Anderson a couple hours ago, but Evan was still sleeping, which was very unusual for him. Matt and Keith entertained themselves quietly, keeping the bus closed so no one else would wake their brother. They had no reason to leave anyway; the refrigerator was stocked with food and it was nice and cool onboard.

Snapping off the television, Matt turned on the laptop computer. "Oh, man. I need a phone line, there's no wi-fi here."

Keith looked out the window. "It doesn't look like anyone's here yet, but they might have a bell you can ring for the manager."

Matt sighed. "I want to talk to KiriMe. I wish I knew her first name. Why do you suppose she won't tell me?"

"She said you already know it."

"Kiri? I never heard of that before." Matt waited while the computer screen filled, then opened a game. "But I like it. Her sisters' names are Sydney and Cam. Those are unusual too."

"Any sisters my age?" Keith looked at Matt hopefully.

"Yeah, Sydney. She's like twenty-four or something. KiriMe says she's so beautiful the men slobber all over her, but she blows them all off. Hates them, I guess. KiriMe says Sydney is a snob."

"Hmm." Keith would have no chance at all with her. He knew no beautiful woman would give him the time of day, especially if she turned down normal men. "What about the other sister?"

Matt laughed. "She's even worse. KiriMe says she's like a dictator in their house. She's old, like almost thirty and KiriMe thinks she'll never get married because she's so bossy."

"A female Evan." They both laughed.

"So did you like that last city, South Bend?" Matt asked.

Keith shrugged. "I didn't see any of it."

"My chat buddy lives there, well, east in a town called Elkhart. That's where Evan bought this bus. It's the recreational vehicle capital of the world."

"Recreational vehicle capital of the world?" Keith grinned. "Oh, the excitement."

Matt grinned too. "It's not a huge town, but there's an airport, and two toll road exits. It would be easy for Evan to visit. KiriMe goes to high school there, and she's part of a youth group."

"How do you know she's for real?" asked Keith. "She could be an old lady feeding you all this information."

"No, we're real close," Matt insisted. "She wouldn't lie to me."

"I see," Keith said, chuckling. Matt was real close with about twenty chat buddies, and none of them knew his real identity, or who his brother was.

Matt found a map and placed it in front of Keith. "I think it sounds like the perfect town, don't you?"

"Because of the RV's?"

"No, the high school and church."

"Yes, that's so hard to find in a town." Keith was amused.

"I'm serious, Keith. Wait till I get online. I found more houses to look at, if you want."

Keith nodded, but asked, "What if you get there and find that Kiri isn't what you expected? What if she's ugly as sin and dumb as a box of rocks?"

Matt pulled the picture of his dark haired beauty from his wallet. "No way. I've got her picture. She's a cheerleader. You have to be cute to do that."

"Have you talked to anyone else in this town? Besides Kiri?" Keith studied the photograph. She was indeed cute, with her hair carefully styled to look casual, and she had a lovely smile. It made Keith wonder what her sisters looked like.

"I talked to her pastor and once to her sister Cam, but not about moving there. They seemed nice, and Cam was nicer than KiriMe said she was." Matt retrieved the picture from Keith and stared at it. He wanted to meet her so bad it hurt. "I'll get a job and a car. It'll be awesome."

Matt's enthusiasm was infectious. Keith found himself wondering about life in the small town. "I hope things will be good for you if we go. Evan's going to miss you."

"He'll never notice, he's so busy. But you and me, Keith, we'll be able to go to church on Sundays, maybe a Bible study on Wednesdays. We would have friends."

Keith stared into space as he imagined about what Matt spoke. "Maybe we can have a study group meet at our house. I've always wanted that."

"Yes!" exclaimed Matt, tasting victory. "You won't be sorry, Keith."

Keith grinned at his brother, and then looked up as Evan opened his bedroom door. "I don't know about that, Matt, but I'm willing to give it a try."

Evan acknowledged the others and kept moving out of the bus. Keith and Matt watched him go, and then closed the bus door behind him.

"My friend KiriMe will help, I'm sure. She knows everyone there, so I'll e-mail her today. I hope she's online tonight during the concert."

Keith couldn't help but be caught up in Matt's plans, but cautioned his brother. "If Evan lets us go. He still hasn't said he would."

"He has to," Matt said passionately. "I'll die if he doesn't."

"Trust me," Keith said dryly, "You won't die. Evan wouldn't allow it."

♥

CHAPTER 5

It wasn't one of the best meals Cam had ever cooked, certainly not up to her usual standards, but it didn't much matter. She couldn't gather her family together to eat tonight anyway.

Dinnertime was supposed to be sacred; at least it always was when Cam's mother was alive. Meals were served within a half-hour of when Cam's father arrived home from his job building trailers at a factory on the outskirts of Elkhart, and everyone was expected to be at the table without excuse. That was when Cam and Sydney were much younger, still in school and then Kiri came along when Cam was ten and Sydney eight and they were so used to the routine it continued even after their mother took sick and died. Kiri was still a toddler when her mother succumbed to cancer, and Cam was not yet a teenager. However, her mother's death propelled her into a new role as the woman of the house, caring for her sisters, and preparing meals for all of them while her father worked overtime at the factory to provide for his family. Cam fell into the role naturally; it was her nature to care for others.

"Kiri, shut off that computer and come to dinner," Cam ordered, setting plates on the table.

"I can't, I'm in the middle of something," Kiri answered.

Cam sighed. Kiri was always in the middle of something, whether it was tapping the keyboard, shopping with her friends or on the phone in her room. Everything else was more important.

Cam's father, Stan coughed, and she went to see if he was well enough to eat today. He was on yet another round of chemotherapy and had trouble keeping down what little food he did consume. He laid on his bed, coughing and breathing laboriously, his eyes dull from the ravages of his illness. Cam's heart hurt for him, a man who once was robust and vital, her hero who now weighed less than she did, almost a shell of his former self. He stayed inside continually, not interested in church or entertainment, not even going into the yard to enjoy the summer sun. It was too overwhelming for him to move from room to room, let alone outside, so his days were spent in his darkened room with only the television and his daughters for company.

"Dinner, dad?" Cam asked, knowing he would refuse. She was alarmed at his loss of appetite; if he didn't eat, he would never gain his strength again.

Stan shook his head weakly but did not answer. Cam felt his forehead, then pulled the covers to his chest and fluffed his pillow. "Rest, dad. I'll have something for you whenever you get hungry."

He closed his eyes before a series of coughs gripped him. When he finally calmed, he fell fast asleep so Cam left him in peace and went back to the kitchen. She ate her meal alone, reading the newspaper and wondering where Sydney was. It never occurred to her sister to tell Cam where she was going, and half the time Sydney didn't know herself, so Cam resigned to cleaning up the kitchen and keeping dinner warm until her sister decided to show. Cam tried not to think about the concert ticket she had in her purse, to see Evan Worthy in South Bend. She had purchased it the first day it went on sale, and looked at it daily for months until the date of the concert. Cam had very few pleasures in her life, but listening to Evan Worthy was her absolute favorite activity, more than shopping, cooking, reading, or anything. He touched her like no other singer; it was as if he knew her heart, her fears, and her relationship to God. He spoke, rather sang the words she would say in prayer if she weren't so creatively challenged; he vocalized what she felt in her heart, only he expressed it so much better than she. And when Cam sang along with him to worship God, she used his words as her own, praying God would hear the song in her heart and not her singing voice. Cam couldn't sing if her life depended on it, and her family held their ears and scattered when she did burst into song.

"Thanks, girls. Your support means everything to me," she said as Kiri and Sydney ran for the doors. "I'm going to sing anyway, whether I can or not!"

"Call me when you're done," Kiri said as she left. "I'll come home when the coast is clear."

"Coward!" Cam turned her music louder and continued singing along with Evan. Ah, how his music comforted her. "Dad, am I bothering you?" She would ask, but he only smiled and waved from his room. Maybe his hearing is going too, she thought.

But she would not hear Evan Worthy in concert. Cam's father was desperately ill and she could not trust his care to Kiri; her sister did not realize how sick her father really was; she thought he was fine as long as he slept. Feeling guilty that she hid the truth from her sibling, Cam nonetheless wanted to spare Kiri the heartache of knowing that except for God's intervention, their father would soon pass from this life to the next. Tears sprung to Cam's eyes unbidden, she found it increasingly hard to cope with her father's illness alone, and her time with him was so limited. She was the sole provider for the family now; Stan had been too ill to work for some time. He had excellent medical coverage, and compensation from the factory; but it was not enough to cover the needs of a household with a teenage girl and a full-grown woman who couldn't concentrate on work long enough to keep a job.

That's my sister, Cam thought with distress. She wondered if Sydney would ever work enough to contribute to household expenses. Her sister was beautiful, turned heads wherever she went, the kind of woman who made men tongue tied and weak-kneed, and filled other women with jealousy. Sydney hated it. All her life she was either a goddess or a pariah, depending on the sex of the other person, and she kept the true Sydney from all of them; only her family knew the person she really was. Others called her aloof, Kiri called her air-headed, and Cam wondered how she would channel Sydney's creative mind into something constructive. Or just everyday life.

The kitchen door opened and Sydney floated in, humming a tune Cam had never heard before.

"That's nice, Syd," Cam remarked. "One of your own?"

"Um," Sydney murmured, lifting the lid on the roast pan. "It's been in my head for days and I finally have it down. Pastor's going to open the church for me tonight so I can work it out on the piano."

"What about words?" Cam asked.

"Never any words," Sydney sighed. "I'm not a writer, not at all. I guess I'm just a Beethoven type."

"More like an absent-minded professor type," commented Kiri, dropping herself on a kitchen chair. "Cam, your eyes are all red. You've been crying."

"No I haven't," Cam replied quickly and turned away. "Are you two going to eat tonight?"

"Duh, Cam. What does it look like we're doing?" Kiri said, rolling her eyes. "You're all upset because you didn't go to that concert. It's your own fault, you know. I offered to watch dad."

"Yes, I'm upset, but not because I missed Evan Worthy. I can see him anytime."

"No you can't," said Sydney. "His concert tour is almost over. I read about that in Saturday's paper."

"You read?" quipped Kiri. "Since when?"

"That's enough," Cam snapped. "Be nice."

Kiri sniffed and went to the stove. Sydney returned to the table with a plate of food, but only ate a fraction of it. Cam knew that the song she was composing consumed her; they always did, until her sister was able to place it on paper. She had been fired from two jobs because of her music, choosing to concentrate on the song in her head instead of the work at hand.

"I'm going to be online all night," Kiri said. "So if you have any calls to make, do them now."

"I know you have friends, but you really shouldn't tie up the phone line like that," Cam scolded. "We miss all kinds of calls."

"So get broadband." Kiri bit into the roast and sighed. "This is great, Cam. You're the best cook in the world."

"That's my girl." Cam smiled and patted her sister's head. "You know just how to bribe me to get what you want."

Kiri nodded her agreement and kept eating. Cam started the dinner dishes and went to check on her father. He was rested and even wanted a bit to eat, so Cam rushed back to the kitchen and prepared him mashed potatoes and roast gravy, with soft cooked carrots. Though he might not keep it down, it was nourishment, and she was heartened to see him eat. She stayed in his room for most of the evening, talking to him, coaxing him, trying to forget she was missing the concert she wanted to see more than life itself.

♥

Kiri had been on the computer for hours, and it was getting on Cam's nerves. She had no one to call, no reason to use the phone, but her frustration over the night's events, her father's illness, and the overtime she was working at the factory, all gnawed at her and she felt her emotions slipping. Sleepless nights of worry about her father, her sisters, and their finances contributed to her mood tonight, and all Cam wanted to do was lash out at the circumstances she couldn't control. Instead she took out frustration on her youngest sister, telling Kiri in a much harsher way than necessary that she needed to get off the computer and do something constructive, like clean her room. Kiri didn't take kindly to being yelled at, and answered in kind, calling Cam a mean-spirited tyrant.

"You expect us to obey your every whim," Kiri complained. "We're people, not robots."

"Robots would be more useful to me," Cam replied, feeling guilty for being so irritable. "I don't ask much from you and Sydney, Kiri. I just need a little help around here."

"I did offer to help tonight," Kiri insisted. "You turned me down. Live with it."

Cam had enough for one night. "I'm going to bed Kiri, and when I wake up you had better not be on that computer."

"Whatever!" She typed furiously. "I'm just saying goodbye to my friend. I know you had a bad night, Cam, but you don't have to take it out on me."

Kiri was right. Cam needed to take her frustration and worry to the cross and leave it there, but first she needed to make things right between them.

"Tell me when you're done," Cam said to Kiri.

"I'm done now," she replied. "And I'm going to take care of dad tonight so you can sleep."

Cam's eyes welled up. "Thanks, Kiri. I'm so sorry I snapped at you. It was undeserved."

"I know you're worried about dad and mad about missing the concert. My friend Matt says it wasn't that good anyway."

"He was there?"

Kiri demurred, "I don't think he was, but he said you'd feel better if I said that to you."

Cam hugged her sister. "Tell him thanks for trying. I love you, Kiri. Goodnight."

"Good night," said Kiri as she logged back on to the computer.

♥

As Cam was preparing her father for a doctor appointment the next morning, she caught the interview on the radio with Evan Worthy and chuckled as she listened to his comments, especially banter with his brother, Matt. What a character his younger brother was, and she could sympathize with Evan. Her sister was just as challenging, feisty but lovable, and Cam was deadly serious about raising her to be a Godly woman. Kiri had already dedicated herself to Christ; Cam was certain of her conversion, but she was so young and saw the world in a completely different light than her sister. Only the things that directly affected Kiri mattered to her; she was only marginally concerned with anyone else. Cam chalked it up to her age, and hoped it was merely a stage that would pass, though sometimes Cam wondered how she would live through Kiri's teenage years.

Cam touched the phone a few times, wishing she had the courage to call and speak to Evan live, but every time she tried to dial, her knees went weak and her throat constricted. What would she ask him anyway? And what interest would he have in anything she said? She was just one of thousands of nameless fans, and she was sure he met so many that he couldn't possibly tell any of them apart. All too soon, his interview was over and he was gone, though Cam marveled for a moment that he was so close to her, in the flesh only thirty minutes from her house. We're breathing the same air, she sighed to herself. And in another thirty minutes, he'll be gone. I missed him.

Stan called to his daughter from the bedroom and she went to his side immediately.

"Dad, you're not dressed."

He looked at her helplessly. "I can't do it today, honey. I'm just too weak."

"But dad, you need to be seen by the doctor."

"I can't." He laid his head back on the pillow.

Cam covered him again. "Then I'll go by myself. This round of chemo is too harsh. I need to get your treatment changed."

He didn't answer, and the appointment was soon, so Cam hurried to her car. If she managed to go right in, Cam could be home before he woke, so she drove away from Elkhart on the bypass that would take her to the doctor's office in South Bend. It was a lovely, sunny morning, but the sun mocked her thoughts, for she was again in despair over her father's medical condition. Cam was praying so fervently that she almost missed her exit, and swung over at the last minute, cutting off a bus that was attempting to turn also.

"I'm sorry!" she called to the startled driver when she stopped at the light. "My fault."

The man waved to let her know that no harm was done, and pulled away. It was then she noticed whose bus she almost hit, Evan Worthy's. No writing identified it on the side, but there was a small sign in the window with a symbol from one of his CDs. Cam put her hands over her eyes and moaned. Could this get any worse? Killing the man she idolized was not an acceptable thing.

"Forgive me, Evan," said Cam as tears slid from her eyes. "My dad is dying. I have to raise my sister and I don't know how I'm going to do it. I need help."

A car horn sounded behind her and she realized she was sitting at a green light. She wiped her eyes and pulled into traffic.

♥

The doctor recommended that they hospitalize Stan to monitor the change in his medication. Cam reluctantly agreed; something had to be done before her father starved to death. He was so weak from not eating and the treatments made him so nauseated, it was all Cam could do to get any nourishment in him anyway. At the same time, she was disheartened that her father was in need of more care. She was walking a fine line with her job; they knew of her father's illness, but wouldn't tolerate many more absences, and she desperately needed this job. Cam couldn't depend on either Sydney or Kiri for income, or to help with housework. Kiri hated hospitals and Cam had to threaten her to see their father when he was hospitalized. That left only Cam to support the family, take care of the house, and be with her father at the hospital. She mentally braced herself for the next few weeks before she arrived home to break the news to her father. As hard as it was on her, it was nothing compared to what he was going though, and he didn't need the extra worry of how this wore on Cam. He felt useless, helpless, torn because of the way his illness kept him from his family and being the father they needed. He had tried since the death of their mother to be both parents, and his failure due to cancer made him as ill as the disease that ravaged him.

"We're fine, Dad," Cam insisted whenever they talked. "You did a great job with us, and it's our turn to take care of you. Concentrate on getting well. That's all that matters."

But he was never convinced. He knew Sydney couldn't hold down a job, he knew Kiri needed discipline and guidance, and he knew Cam was coming unraveled from all the responsibility and worry. He also knew that Cam would not shirk her duties even if she could, that she was the backbone of this family and her strength would carry the rest of them through this crisis.

♥

He was in the hospital for a week, and the new medicine brought the first ray of hope in a long time. By Friday, he was well enough to come home, and that night he even sat at the table for dinner. Stan's appetite still was not good, but he ate enough to make Cam happy, and even had a bit of dessert to top off his meal.

"If this keeps up, you'll be back to normal," Cam teased. "Or as normal as anyone in this family can be."

"I haven't felt this good in months," her father replied, his voice still weak.

"There's a father-daughter dance at the church on Sweetest Day," Kiri mentioned. "I want you well enough to go."

Stan smiled at his youngest daughter. "I promise Kiri, I'll do everything possible to go with you. I would be so proud."

"Well, I'd be really bummed if I had to take Uncle Fred instead of you." Kiri made a face. "He always steps on my toes and sings while we dance."

Kiri had left the computer on while they ate, and a sound from it told her that she had an instant message. She jumped up from the table so fast she knocked her glass of milk over, but didn't stop to clean it. Cam hurriedly put a dishtowel over the spill and scolded Kiri for running off.

"I had to; I'm waiting for something important." She typed rapidly, her eyes intent on the screen.

"Oh, yes, there must be a sale at Old Navy online," Cam said dryly. "Or did one of your friends meet a cute guy?"

"Not even," Kiri said with all the indignation of a sixteen-year-old. "We have much more meaningful conversations than that."

"In one word sentences," remarked Cam. She rose from the table and started dishwater in the sink. "All the other families in town have a dishwasher. Why don't we?"

"We do," answered Stan. "You."

"Ha, ha, Dad." Cam swatted at him with the dishtowel. "And I'm the maid, cook and chauffeur."

"I'll have my license soon," Kiri said, not taking her eyes from the screen. "Then I'll get a job and my own car."

"What kind of job?" asked Sydney.

"I'm going to wait tables."

Cam bit her lip to keep from laughing. Kiri wouldn't even carry her plate to the sink. How could she wait on other people?

"I could get you a job with me at the department store," Sydney offered.

"No thanks," replied Kiri. "With your work record, they wouldn't even consider another Anderson. Probably not even Cam, Miss Dependable."

Cam took Kiri's plate from the table. "I don't believe the factory thinks of me that way. I've missed more time this last few months than I have since I started working as a teenager."

"And that was a long time ago," Sydney agreed. "You used to pride yourself on never missing a day of school, and then when you graduated, you never missed a day of work."

"You need to get a life," Kiri said.

"This is my life," Cam replied. "I'm content where I am."

Kiri looked up. "As unmarried woman almost thirty living at home with a job she hates? I guess I'd be content too."

"Thanks, Kiri, I feel much better now." Cam attacked the dishes with a rag. Her hair fell into her eyes and she pushed it back behind her ears. It wasn't curly like Kiri's or ribbons of silk like Sydney's. Cam's hair was as plain like her; brown hair brown eyed Camellia, who was named after a flower but who looked like her father, and whose looks paled in comparison to her beautiful sisters. Sometimes she wondered if she was adopted—or if Sydney and Kiri were, since Cam so resembled her father. She had his eyes, his nose, and though he had been a handsome man before the cancer struck him down, it was not flattering for Cam to look so...masculine. That's how she saw herself. She was not as feminine in her curves as her sisters were, her hair sometimes looked like a cruel joke, and she was not one to wear makeup. But she was not ugly, nor would her face curdle milk, nevertheless in comparison to her sisters, Cam might as well wear a bag over her head. She would never be a beauty on the outside, so she worked diligently in other areas to improve internally. Cam read voraciously, she was quick-witted and hard working, the best cook in both her church and family, she cleaned like she was born to it, and she tried daily to be a reflection of the Christ she served. Though she was in no danger of being asked to sing a solo at church, she was still in charge of the music, and instead of trying to lead the church in song, she played praise and worship on discs. It was a small church, with few volunteers and even less talent, so this worked out well for all of them. Sydney was gifted, and had the voice of an angel, but she steadfastly refused to sing in church or play worship music. It would cause her to be noticed, the center of attention, something she despised. People judged Sydney by her outer beauty, not the woman she actually was, and this was the burden of her life, the reason she shunned male companionship. Sydney was convinced men thought of her in only two ways, as window dressing on their arm and as an object of their physical desires, not as a friend or musician or even just another person.

Cam was inclined to agree with her sister's opinion of herself. Men constantly fought for Sydney's attention and affection, they always had, from the time Sydney blossomed into a woman, and she could have her choice of any of them. However, a few incidents made her wary, and to this day, no man got any further than a polite hello or an icy good day, whether or not they were sincere. Sydney said she could only love someone who understood, who knew what it meant to be judged on looks alone. How she would find someone like that, Cam couldn't guess, but what Cam did know was that having Sydney for a sister almost completely diminished her chances of finding someone of her own. Cam had few offers in her life from interested men, and none of them survived meeting Sydney. Without exception, every boy or man who seemed interested in Cam abruptly dropped her when he met her sister. Sydney, of course wasn't impressed with any of them. If by some miracle the young man decided his chances were better with Cam, she then gave him the cold shoulder. Who wants to be second choice?

While Sydney rebuffed any men, Cam despaired of ever having a steady. Ever practical, she refused to spend time worrying about it. She had plenty else to occupy her mind, certainly more important things than her love life. It was only in her unguarded moments, when she was tired and not able to take her thoughts captive that loneliness reared its ugly head. Cam's strategy was to keep so busy she wouldn't have to think. Right now, with her father so ill, her duty to support the family and the daily routine of keeping house, Cam was as busy as she could be. But loneliness was always close at hand.

♥

CHAPTER 6

"Hey Cam, look at this," Kiri said, turning from the computer. "My friend Matt is moving to Elkhart. He's looking for a house here."

"What? Matt, your chat buddy? Here?" Cam frowned and moved to the computer.

"He said that his brother is finally going to let him live in a real house. Matt wants to live in Elkhart, near me."

"Near you? He's going to move to Indiana to be near you? Kiri, what do you really know about him?" Cam was alarmed. He chose this town merely to be near Kiri? "What if he's not actually sixteen, Kiri? He could be a forty-five year old ax murderer for all you know."

"Not even!" Kiri made a rude noise. "We're practically going steady. He wouldn't lie to me. I want him here in my town."

"Uh, right," Cam demurred. "So someone you've never met but are practically going steady with is moving across the country to live near you. What's wrong with this picture?"

"Don't be so suspicious, Cam. Just because you don't have any friends you can trust doesn't mean I don't."

"Kiri, get a clue. It's not normal for a teenager to convince his family to move so he can be near a girl."

Kiri rolled her eyes. "It's more than that, Cam. He lives on the road with his family because of his oldest brother's job. He didn't have a choice, his parents are dead, and his other brother is disabled, so Evan takes care of them. But he wants to go to a real school and belong to a youth group. He can move anywhere, but I told him how nice it is here."

"You always say you hate this town."

"I like my friends, though."

Cam grimaced. Kiri had loads of acquaintances. She was a charmer, and everyone wanted to be her friend. But she was also very gullible, taking her friends' word as law instead of seeking the truth. If Matt said he was sixteen and moving to town to go to school then that was gospel to Kiri. Cam decided to do some investigating on her own.

His screen name was ThreeBeers, not very promising. Cam frowned. "What kind of name is that for a teenager?"

Kiri sighed patiently at her sister's ignorance. "His last name is Beers, Cam. He has two brothers, Keith and Evan. Get it? Three Beers? It's a name."

"But what if he moves here and you don't like him?"

Kiri looked at her sister as if she was stupid. "Then I won't hang around him. He's still going to get to go to a school and stuff."

"Kiri, I don't know." Cam didn't like the way this conversation was headed. A perfect stranger was about to enter their life, to actually move into their town, just to go to school. It didn't seem right.

"Cam, come on!" Kiri pleaded. "Here, talk to him, he's online." Kiri typed a note to her friend saying Cam wanted to talk to him, and moved off the chair so Cam could type.

"Feel free to finish the dishes while I type," Cam said to her sister as she sat.

"As if," replied Kiri.

ThreeBeers was eager to talk to Cam.

Hi Cam. Did Kiri tell you that we are looking for a house in your town?

Yes, she told me just now. Why here?

We can move anywhere, but Kiri made it sound so exciting there.

I don't think I've ever heard the word exciting and Elkhart used in the same sentence.

Kiri says she loves her school and she's always telling me about the stuff the youth group does. I've never gone to a real school.

What? Home school only?

Yes, but I carry a 3.8 GPA.

Good for you. Kiri said you travel all the time? What does your brother do for a living?

He's in the music industry and has a company. We travel almost all the time, except when he has to be in the office. Keith and I are tired of it. I want a home. So does Keith. We don't want to make you mad, or anything, but we picked Elkhart because Kiri made it sound so cool.

Cool? I think my sis exaggerates.

Maybe, but it's more than I have now. I have no friends my age. Keith and I are Christians. We don't get into trouble or anything.

Well, I understand the need for friends, especially at your age. And Kiri is a good friend. But understand this, ThreeBeers. I love my sister very much and if you have any plans to stalk her, pester her or do anything inappropriate, think twice before you cement your plans to move. Because if you do anything to hurt Kiri I will personally make you sorry you ever heard the word Elkhart. Got it?

♥

"I like her," Matt said to Keith. "She's bossy like Evan."

Keith, who was reading over his brother's shoulder, nodded.

♥

I promise you, Cam. My brother Evan would kill me if I embarrassed him. It has taken me months to convince him to let me go. He's real unhappy about it, so maybe you could talk to him; tell him about your town? He wants me to stay with him but I'm tired of traveling.

I'd feel much better if I did talk to him, Matt. I know how I would feel if I had to let my sisters go...on the other hand...take them! I need a vacation!

Lol, Cam. Please write my brother. His e-mail is WITLE. Tell him I promise to be on my best behavior. He thinks I'm still a kid.

I will, tonight. But remember...hurt Kiri and die, I mean that.

Yes ma'am.

Cam gave the computer back to her sister, who was steaming that her sister had treated her friend so rudely.

"You don't even know him! How can you be so mean?"

"Because dear child, I care about you. " Cam went to the sink and wiped at the dishes. "It doesn't hurt to put the fear of God in Matt."

"If you would stop being my bodyguard for one moment you might be surprised to find I'm not as stupid as you think."

Cam smiled. "I never said you were stupid, just too trusting."

"I see the good side of people," Kiri declared.

"You see whatever you want to," corrected Cam. "Where did Sydney go, Dad? She didn't finish her dinner."

"Just to the store. She's getting me ice cream."

Cam smiled and hugged her father. "Oh, dad. This is a very good sign."

Her father agreed. "I can't be sick forever. I plan on giving all three of my girls away at their weddings."

"Ha!" Snorted Kiri. "You might live to be a hundred and not see that. I'm too young, and Sydney's way too choosy. And Cam..."

"Don't go there Kiri." Cam put her hands on her hips, warning her sister.

Kiri made a face. "It's not like you're trying or anything."

"I have more important things to worry about."

Kiri raised her eyebrow. "Like what? Evan Worthy? You like, worship him."

Cam frowned as she put plates into the cupboard. "I don't worship him. I'm very fond of his music. But if he ever asked me to marry him I certainly wouldn't refuse."

"Oh, right," Kiri said mockingly. "I don't think there's any danger of that. You need to find a real guy, stop living in a fantasy world."

"Kiri, dear." Cam moved close to her sister. "My fantasy world would not include working overtime at a corrugated box factory, or have a younger sister who doesn't cook, clean or pick up after herself. And it definitely would not include me being the least desirable of the three Anderson girls. So if I'm living in a fantasy world, get me out. I'll give it up gladly."

"I'm just kidding. You don't have to be so vicious." Kiri went back to the computer to catch up with her messages from Matt.

Sydney returned with the ice cream and Cam made a bowl for her father. He ate it with relish, but when he was finished, he tired, so Cam helped him to his room for the evening. She planned to bathe him and put him in pajamas, but his strength drained so rapidly that he wanted to go to bed right away. Cam made sure he was comfortable before she re-joined her sisters in the kitchen. They were enjoying the ice cream that Sydney brought home.

"Cam, remember that guy you dated a few years ago, Tony?" Sydney asked.

Cam sat at the table. "That was in high school, Sydney. More than a few years ago."

"Oh. Well anyway, I ran into him and his wife at the supermarket. They have a new baby."

"One more you let get away," remarked Kiri.

"Did I ask you?" snapped Cam.

"Touchy, touchy."

Sydney patted Cam's arm. "He's losing his hair anyway."

"That is such a comfort to me." Cam pushed away from the table and found a cereal bowl. She scooped a large serving of the ice cream into the dish and spooned it into her mouth.

"Are we going to make church tonight?" Sydney asked.

"I was hoping," Kiri answered. "The youth group is planning our fall fund-raiser."

"I'd like to go also," Cam said. "But Dad..."

"He'll sleep all night, Cam. Come with us for a change," Sydney pleaded. "I hate going alone. I always feel better when you're there."

Cam missed going to Wednesday night services. She was either working or with her father. He was sleeping peacefully. One night away wouldn't hurt. "Okay, but let me throw a load of laundry in. You know how it multiplies if I leave it overnight."

♥

The Wednesday night Bible study was not as big or as formal as the Sunday service. Usually less than twenty showed during the week, not counting the youth, which were over thirty strong, and willing to meet any time the doors were open. They were a close-knit group, and most of them attended Kiri's high school, so they were friends both in and out of church. While Kiri wandered away with her friends, Cam and Sydney went to one of the classrooms behind the sanctuary that was used on Sundays for the children. They sat on chairs in a semicircle with the pastor in the middle. Today a new face joined the Bible study, a man who claimed to be called Storm and looked like a newscaster. His hair was perfectly combed and held in place with a liberally applied hair spray. He had a practiced grin and teeth so white they almost glowed. And his eyes were riveted on Sydney. Cam had to put her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing out loud, but her eyes gave her away, making Sydney scowl. She too had noticed the man's interest, and her sister's amusement, but she was not the least bit pleased with either of them. The man made a beeline for Sydney and sat next to her as if he was expecting her to welcome him with open arms. Sydney looked at him as if he was an oil slick and moved to another seat. Undaunted, he moved with her, introducing himself as he took the chair next to her. When the lesson began, Storm said he forgot his Bible but would just share with Sydney. She smiled and handed him her book.

"Why don't you find the passages for me? I'm sure you're better at it than I am." With a smirk, she sat back to wait for him to find the first scripture. After fumbling with the pages and becoming increasingly frustrated, the man gave Sydney her Bible and admitted defeat.

"Who sent you here?" she whispered, closing her Bible.

"I saw you at the department store and asked another employee where you spend your free time. They said I could find you here every Wednesday and Sunday." He gave her a dazzling smile.

"You shouldn't have wasted your time." Sydney stood and threw her purse over her shoulder. "Cam, are you ready?"

Cam and every other person in the room looked at Sydney in surprise. The lesson had barely begun. Sydney strode to the door, and Cam hurried to follow her sister, catching up to her in the sanctuary.

"What about Kiri?" Cam asked.

"I'll come back for her," Sydney replied, her face rosy with anger. "Can you believe the nerve of that guy?"

"It's tough to be you," Cam agreed. "But Syd, you can't run every time someone makes conversation with you."

Sydney stopped moving and faced her sister. "Not one of them, Cam wants me for me. I hate it! Looks mean absolutely nothing. It's the person inside that matters."

"I wouldn't mind if someone wanted me for my looks," Cam commented.

"It's not all it's cracked up to be," replied Sydney. "And what's wrong with your looks?"

"They aren't yours," Cam answered. "I'm the plain cheese of the pizza world."

Sydney laughed. "What an awful metaphor. You need to read a poem once in a while."

"It's one of my goals in life," Cam said dryly. "Now you know what to get me for Christmas."

The man who was bothering Sydney entered the sanctuary, making Sydney bolt. Cam was left in the room with him, and she heard the squeal of tires as her sister sped away. Smiling apologetically at Storm, Cam suggested he might want to stay for Bible study anyway so his visit wouldn't be a total waste. He gave Cam a grin worthy of a politician and said he would, but he suddenly remembered somewhere he needed to be. Cam returned the grin and watched him leave. She wondered how long it would be until Sydney realized she had left without her sister, and went to the back of the church to work on music for Sunday's worship. She lined up the music CDs, which took all of ten minutes, then tinkered on the piano. Sydney returned thirty minutes later to retrieve her.

♥

With her father still asleep, Cam logged onto the computer to check her e-mail. There was a message from WITLE, Matt's brother. She opened it immediately. It read, Hey, Cam. This is Evan, Matt's brother. You don't know me, and probably wouldn't ever, if my little brother wasn't so persuasive. He is great friends with your sister, is it Kiri? Matt is a great kid, except for one thing; he wants to move to your town for schooling, and it's breaking my heart. Since he was four, he's been traveling with me, because of my job. I know that sounds unusual, but that's my life's work. Anyway, he wants to settle down, go to a real school and basically be a teenager, which he has been denied because of me. So, after much soul searching and begging him to stay, I've decided to let him go. But before I do, I wanted to write to you, as Kiri's older sister, and from what I understand, her guardian, to gather information about your town, how safe he would be, and most importantly, if he is even welcome. We do not wish to disrupt your life; however Matt is not a kid to fade into the background! He is wonderful, funny, a charmer. He doesn't have a mean bone in his body. I love him terribly, but I won't allow him to move if you object. Please answer honestly. I need your feedback.

Sincerely, Evan.

Cam thought for a while, and then responded.

Evan, thank you for writing me of your concern. I assure you I have the very same thoughts regarding Kiri. I was very alarmed to learn an Internet buddy planned to move here, after all, they are basically strangers and he could be someone completely different than portrayed online. I love Kiri intensely; she was just a toddler when my mother died, and I raised her. My father did all he could to make up for her loss, however he is now stricken with cancer and very ill; he has been for some time and I am the sole support of our family. So you and I know the awesome weight of responsibility. Except that while you grieve over your brother leaving you, I fear my sisters won't ever! LOL.

As for Matt moving here, we don't object, what right would we have anyway? I fully understand his need to be a normal teenager; this is a very important time in his life. But he needs guidance and discipline, would you be able to supply that long distance? We have an excellent youth group at our church; they are close-knit and love the Lord. Does Matt? As for the school, it is just a normal high school with all the sports and clubs you would expect. We don't have a problem with gangs or drugs that I know of; even so, Kiri is smart enough to avoid all that. Indiana is an excellent place for families, at least I think so, but I've never lived anywhere else. You would do well to come and investigate yourself before you cement your decision, but I think I can tell you honestly that this area would be a good choice. We look forward to meeting you when you do visit, it would probably be best to see if our young ones get along before Matt commits. Did I just say "Young ones?" Arrrghhh. I'm becoming my mother.

Sincerely, Cam.

She checked her other mail and answered correspondence, then closed the screen. Sydney left to fetch Kiri, leaving Cam alone with her father. She decided to finish the laundry so that it would not be waiting for her after work tomorrow, another double shift at the factory. As she did each time she folded her sister's clothes, Cam wished they would help with the household chores, but she doubted Sydney could grasp the concept of separating colors in the wash, and Kiri wouldn't care unless her clothes were ruined. Cam sighed; this was her unofficial job, and really, no one else in her family did it as well. She would just have to do it correctly after her sisters' attempts, so why bother with them at all? While she worked on the laundry, Cam played her Evan Worthy greatest hits CD and sang along. When the song, "Simple Words of Gratefulness" started, she set the shirt she was folding on a chair and knelt in homage to God. This was her favorite worship song, and it never failed to move her. Tonight she thanked God for her father's appetite, his apparent change for the better, and for God's provision to this family. And she prayed for Kiri's friend Matt, that it be God's will to move to her town, and if it was God, that He would open doors and smooth the way for him. She also prayed for his brother Evan, with whom she felt a common bond; that he would be comforted if his brother did move to Elkhart, and would not feel alone without Matt. She also vowed to take Matt under her wing and care for him as his brother would wish, the same way she felt about Kiri's care. As the song ended, her sisters returned home so Cam returned to her duties, reminding them to bring their dirty clothes to her so she could wash them tonight. It was late when Cam finally fell into her bed, but the house was clean, laundry folded, and her family was cared for. Tonight, Cam could sleep without worry.

♥

CHAPTER 7

The supervisor approached Cam as she was on her knees pulling cardboard from a bale that had been caught in the machine.

"Cam, you've got an emergency phone call," he yelled over the roar of the machines. Cam jumped up immediately and ran for the office that overlooked the factory floor. The secretary gave her a sympathetic look and handed her the phone.

"Cam? Dad's...I don't know. I can't get him to wake up! He looks funny. I'm scared," Sydney blurted. "I need you at home right away."

"Did you check to see if he's breathing?" Cam asked as panic rose in her throat.

"No, I was too...I'll do it now." She dropped the phone and ran. Cam waited, holding her breath until Sydney returned.

"Cam..." Sydney cried in a high-pitched voice. "I can't tell! He's so pale."

"I'm on my way, Syd. I'm sending medics. Go wait for them at the door and pray."

"Cammmmmmm!"

"Sydney! Pull yourself together or you'll frighten Kiri. I'll be home in five minutes."

"Hurry!"

Cam promised, and then switched phone lines to call 911. She explained her father's condition, and literally ran to her car, not even bothering to check with her supervisor. She was home just as the medics arrived, and accompanied them into the house. Sydney and Kiri were in the bedroom waiting helplessly by their father's side.

"Cam, do something," Kiri cried, throwing herself in her sister's arms.

Cam held her sister tight while the medics took vitals from her father. They said he was barely breathing, maybe in respiratory arrest. He was loaded onto the ambulance so fast Cam barely had time to tell them the name of his hospital, St. Joe's in South Bend.

"We really need to go closer, to Elkhart General," the medic said. "He needs immediate care."

"Take him then," replied Cam. "I'll call his doctor."

They were gone within minutes, leaving Cam to call the physician, calm her sisters and drive to the hospital. She took a moment to pray before they left and held her sisters tight; telling them God was with them, even now. Kiri cried loudly all the way to the hospital, and Sydney curled up in a ball on the waiting room chairs, wiping her eyes. Cam went into the emergency room alone and spoke with the physician on duty.

"He's in respiratory distress," the woman said, leading Cam to his room. "We're working on that now. But he appears to be comatose, as of this moment. What can you tell me of his condition?"

Cam told her of his cancer and the change in his medication last week. "He was doing so well last night, we were so thrilled. He even ate ice cream..."

The doctor listened, then patted Cam's arm. "I'm going to call your physician. If I get him stabilized, we will move him to your hospital, but if not, we'll keep him. I will speak with you as soon as I hear from your doctor. Do you want to wait with your father?"

"Yes," said Cam weakly. "I don't want to leave his side."

An hour later, Stan's physician asked the family to meet with him in a conference room. He was sympathetic but direct.

"I suspect the cancer has advanced to his brain, and it's causing his body to shut down vital functions." He looked at Cam though he spoke to all of them.

Cam felt the need to interpret for her sisters. "You mean he's dying?"

The physician nodded. "I think it's a matter of time right now. We'll do what we can to make him comfortable, but I think you should prepare yourselves. I don't expect him to regain consciousness."

"No!" wailed Kiri. "He can't die, Cam! I need him!" She burst into tears and buried her head in the older sister's chest.

"God, have mercy on him," Cam breathed. "What can we do?"

"Pray," answered the doctor. "It's in God's hands now." He left the room to attend his patient.

The sisters cried together and prayed for strength. Cam called the pastor, her grandparents and her Aunt Barb, who all said they would be there immediately, and then returned to her sisters.

"This can't be happening," sobbed Kiri. "I want to go home."

"Be strong," Cam said to her. "Dad needs us now."

"I need my daddy," Kiri answered. "I don't want to be an orphan."

Cam hugged her. "I'll be here for you forever," she promised. "You'll never be alone."

"Me too," said Sydney. "You still have us."

But Kiri could not be consoled.

The three women began a vigil at their father's bedside, listening to the machine breath for him, watching closely, wondering if the next breath would be his last. Cam warned her sisters that her father might still be able to hear them, so they must keep all words positive. They told him how much they loved him and prayed as if he could understand. After the rest of the family arrived, Stan's condition seemed to stabilize, and Cam suggested that Kiri and Sydney go home and rest.

"I'll call you if there's any change," Cam said. Sydney agreed, and led a weary, grieving Kiri away, promising to sleep next to the phone.

♥

At home, Kiri logged onto the computer and found her friend ThreeBeers online.

Matt, my dad is dying and I am so sad, she wrote, her tears spilling onto the keyboard. I don't know how I will make it through this.

He replied immediately. God will strengthen you, KiriMe, I promise. I lost my mom when I was young and God took care of me.

I'll be an orphan. What if my sister won't keep me?

She will. I can tell she loves you lots.

Was your brother mad when he had to take care of you?

I don't remember, I was too small. But I don't think so; he's pretty good to me now. I have everything I need.

Maybe he could talk to Cam and tell her to keep me here at home? I'm scared she'll send me away.

I'll ask him. But Kiri, trust God. He loves you, remember?

If he loves me, why is he letting my daddy die?

It happens, Kiri. Life stinks sometimes.

Tears made it hard for her to read his messages. I wish you were here with me right now. I need you.

Me too. I will be soon, though. Evan said I could go, if things work out when we come to look for a house. He talked to your sister and she said it was okay with her.

Good. How soon?

A couple weeks. Evan is almost finished with this job. We will pray for your dad.

Pray he doesn't die.

I promise.

Kiri logged off, flung her body onto the bed and cried herself to sleep.

♥

The pastor visited Stan the next morning while Cam was alone in the room with her father. She had slept very little in the chair next to his bed, and was cold, tired and had a raging headache. This is nothing compared to what dad is experiencing, she reminded herself guiltily. Cam pulled herself together, greatly comforted by the presence of her pastor and his quiet words that were a balm to her. He promised to call the whole church for prayer, and said his wife was already urging members to make hot meals for the girls while they kept their vigil at Stan's bed side. Unspoken was the promise to keep them in hot food if Cam's father should pass.

"Tell her not to go to any trouble," Cam said. "We won't eat much anyway."

"It won't help your father if you waste away," Pastor reminded her. "You need to keep up your own strength for the days ahead."

"I think I can spare a few pounds," Cam replied. "But Kiri and Sydney will need to eat. Thanks."

"Has he had any periods of awareness?" Pastor asked, touching Stan's arm.

"No. I'm hoping that if I talk to my dad enough I can pull him out of this coma. I don't know if he hears me."

"Talk to him anyway," Pastor said. "For your own comfort. He knows how much you have cared for him, and what a strength you've been to your family."

"I tried to take his place and keep my family together. It was so hard for dad to be helpless, I think for him that was the worst part of being sick." She wiped a tear from her eye.

The pastor put his arm around her. "God sees your faithfulness, Cam. He knows your heart. And he will help you through this, no matter what the outcome."

Cam nodded wordlessly, trying to swallow the lump in her throat.

"Let me pray now with you and your dad," suggested the pastor. "We have hope, you know, as long as he's still breathing."

Cam's tears fell on her folded hands as she prayed silently with the minister. God, please, I need my dad. How will I take care of my sisters alone? Kiri fights with me all the time and Sydney is useless more than not. My dad is way too young to die, please God, help him. I love him so much.

She followed the pastor into the hallway as he left. "One thing I need to ask," she said, her voice breaking. "If he should..." She left the word unspoken. "How do I handle the details, deal with funeral homes and all that?"

"I'll help you, and your grandfather buried his daughter. You won't be alone."

She thanked him and promised to keep him informed, then returned to her father's bedside. Her sisters and aunt arrived a few minutes later, so she went home to change, freshen up, and shower. There was a note on her bedroom door to check her e-mail for a message from Matt's brother.

"This is not a good time," Cam said aloud, but checked anyway while the microwave heated her food. His message was not about Matt.

Hi, Cam. Matt told me about your father and asked if I could give you any words of comfort. I am qualified because I buried both my father and mother, so I can easily say I know what you're going through right now. And as much as you are grieving, you still need to take care of the details—they don't go away just because you don't want to deal with them. Only you can do it right, the funeral, church, and burial because you know what your dad would have wanted. If you don't you'll be sorry. And honest, the actual grieving period won't set in for another week or so afterward for you; though for your sisters it will be immediate. If you have close family and friends, they will help comfort your sisters so don't get yourself all worked up about them until later. I know this sounds callous, but you need practical advice. Take care of all the paperwork—since Kiri is a minor you will have to become her legal guardian. You will get social security for her, but it has to be filed. I'm sure your dad had life insurance; use that money to pay off your house after funeral expenses so you won't have that worry. It's always best to be as debt free as possible, but you probably already know that. The rest is up to you. It won't be easy, but I've supported my brothers for years with the satisfaction that I did the best I could for them. I'm so very sorry for your impending loss. I'll pray for a miracle. Please feel free to contact me via e-mail. E.

Thank you, Evan, Cam typed back. I needed practical advice more than anything else right now. You don't know how much I appreciate your help. God will see me through the emotions, but I was worried what to do physically. Tell your brother Matt I appreciate his concern also. He is a good friend to Kiri. Cam sent the mail, then printed Evan Beers' letter for future reference. She ate, showered and even slept for an hour before her sisters summoned her back to the hospital.

♥

CHAPTER 8

If Matt was anything, he was persuasive. He kept reminding Evan of his desire to move to Indiana for the rest of the tour. Every night when Evan returned to the bus or hotel, Matt had pages of houses for him to look at, as well as information about schools, church, maps of the intestates, even the local radio stations and how often they played Evan's music. He assured his brother that Indiana was the perfect place for a teenager to live, reminding him of the nice people they had met at fairs in various counties around the state. Evan tried to reason with his brother, saying that things would not be the same, ever, once they parted, and that he would go crazy missing Matt and Keith.

"You're so busy, Evan. We barely have any time together anyway."

"I'll make time for you, honest."

Matt shrugged. "We'll talk online all the time. You'll hardly know we're gone."

"Yes I will," Evan insisted. "I need you, Matt."

Matt pushed the list of houses in front of his brother. "You have to let go of us sometime."

"Matthew, you're still a minor."

"I'm mature for my age."

Evan laughed. "You are not! You watch cartoons!"

Matt made a face. "So do you."

"Only when you control the television!" Evan swiped at his brother with the papers.

Matt groaned. "Evan, get a grip! We could have a nice house with a recording studio in it instead of renting."

Evan laughed. "And what about musicians? They live in Nashville. I'd have to fly them to Indiana for every session."

"I don't know. I haven't figured everything out yet."

Evan sorted through the list of houses, saying, "No", "I don't think so," "Not in my wildest dreams."

Matt sighed and turned on his computer. "Tell me what you're looking for in a house. If I let you choose it, will you let me go?"

Evan thought for a moment. "It has to have a big yard—acreage, really. Fenced with a gate. I can't live in a normal neighborhood, Matt. I would have people knocking on my doors day and night. I need a place to park my bus and room to drive it in and out. I have to include an office, a really big kitchen and the house has to be set back from the road for privacy."

"Is that all?" Keith asked from the sofa, chuckling.

"I don't want you to go at all. That's what I really want."

Clicking the computer to the real estate web site, Matt started entering particulars about the house. "Think of this, Evan. Christmas at home, with a tree and presents and the whole house decorated. Christmas Eve we would go to midnight services at the church, and then open gifts while drinking eggnog."

"I'm always on tour at Christmas."

Matt knew his schedule. "You could come home for one week. All the others go home for Christmas."

"I'm booked." Evan crossed his arms and frowned.

"So unbook." Matt mimicked his brother and they stared at each other, a draw. Evan moved first.

"Matt, I swear you make me crazy!" He slapped the papers on the table for emphasis.

Matt grinned. "I won't be around to make you nuts."

"Arrrrghhhhh!" Evan jumped up from his seat. "I give! Go! Take Keith with you. Have a nice life. But I get to choose the house and I WILL be dropping by unannounced to check on you."

"Anything, Evan. You can even live with us."

Evan leaned on the table. "My work is in Nashville. Couldn't you find a house there?"

Matt just kept grinning.

Evan sighed and went to his room on the bus. Keith followed after him and sat on the bed.

"Don't be too upset with him, Evan. He only understands what affects him."

"It's not that, Keith." Evan sat next to his brother. "I don't like being alone, and I especially hate that I won't be able to take care of you."

Keith looked at his brother steadily. "We don't need to be taken care of, Evan."

Evan wasn't so sure. "What about cooking and cleaning?"

"I'll hire a housekeeper."

"That's a good idea." Evan stood and pulled off his shirt. "How about a live-in maid?"

"No, I don't want a stranger living with us." Keith rubbed at his leg absently. Evan knew it was a sign he was in pain, but he also knew his brother would not admit to any.

"Okay, then we'll find someone to come in during the week." Evan lay on the bed, suddenly weary. "I'm going to miss you guys."

Keith pushed himself to his feet. "We'll miss you too. But it won't be forever. Matt will be in college in just a few years, and then I'll come back on the road with you."

Evan put his arm over his eyes. "A lot can happen in two years."

Keith stopped at the doorway. "Not with us. Unless you get married. Then you won't want us around."

"I don't think we're in any danger of that," said Evan. "I cut my hair, remember? I'm probably losing fans even as we speak."

Keith laughed but wished to make a point. "You should consider it, Evan. A wife would keep you warm on all those cold lonely nights while you travel."

"A wife would need attention that I can't give her. I'm married to my career."

Shaking his head, Keith continued out the door. "Your career won't be enough someday."

Evan sat up, and then followed his brother. "What about you, Keith? You never talk about yourself being married."

Keith looked away. "It's not going to happen for me."

"Nonsense. There's someone for everyone."

Rubbing his leg again, Keith answered, "Every perfect one, Evan. Not for those like me. People don't look any farther than my legs. It's sad, but true."

Evan put his hand on his brother's shoulder. "Then it's their loss."

Keith sank onto the couch with a grimace. "It's my loss too, unfortunately."

Matt interrupted the conversation, calling from his computer, "Evan, I just talked to my friend Kiri. Her dad's dying, like maybe today, and she wants you to talk to her sister, or write her. I think she's like you, the head of the family or something, since their mom died, like, years ago. Can you write something to her?"

"Yeah, sure. Is he dying for sure, or just sick?" Evan moved to the computer.

"Kiri says he's dying and she was crying so it must be now. He's got cancer and he's been sick for a long time. I thought maybe you could tell her stuff, since you've been through all this. If you don't mind."

"I don't mind. I've written her once already about you. Her name is Cam? What's that short for?"

Matt shrugged. "I don't know. Camel?"

Evan made a face. "Of course, that must be it, why didn't I figure that out for myself? Let me write her now, or I'll forget." He logged on under his own name and composed a letter to Kiri's sister, his heart hurting for her. He knew more than anyone her plight, being that he was the oldest child, and buried both his parents. Nothing he said would make it any easier emotionally, but he did know how to handle the practical matters. After he finished her letter, he attempted to rise from the table, but tripped over the phone cord. A very long phone cord. His eyes followed the line out the door of the bus.

Matt was watching him in amusement. "Haven't you ever wondered, Evan how I use my computer when I can't get broadband access on the bus? I find a phone or beg the arena manager to let me plug into one of theirs. All I need is a line and a really long cord."

"You're a slick one," Evan mused.

"I've got all kinds of tricks." Matt slapped his brother on the back. "What time will we arrive for tomorrow's concert?"

"Early afternoon." Evan stretched and yawned.

Matt turned off the computer and began to undress. "Good. I want to keep in touch with Kiri. I think she'll need me."

"You're a great guy, you know that?" Evan said, punching his brother on the arm. "Sometimes I'm really proud of you." He moved to the rear of the bus to shower and hopefully compose a song for the new CD. But try as he may, it would not form in his head so he found his daily planner and shuffled through paperwork Mitch had left him. Looking at his schedule, he noticed Mitch had blocked out all of next spring to work on the CD, save the week of the Dove awards. He's thinking I'm going to win something, Evan chuckled to himself, but he knew it was more likely that he would be chosen to co-host. And if he did win...Evan allowed himself a small smile of pleasure at the success of his last collection before his stomach began to churn at the pressure to produce another, better one. It never stopped, this part of his career, whether he was on top or reeling from a bad mistake, always there was a new album on the horizon, and with it the quest for a top song. He wasn't too worried about making money for himself anymore, his investments and concert sales gave him a comfortable life, but the people who worked for him depended on his continued successfulness for their living, and he was indebted to them. Someday, he thought as he thumbed through his planner, I will have time for me, and my wants. But not yet, and hopefully before I'm too old to enjoy them. I can't allow myself that luxury, too much depends on me right now. He turned to December and saw that he was free from December twenty-first through New Year's Day. I see Mitch and Matt have been talking. Evan decided to leave it open and spend Christmas in Indiana with his brothers. If nothing else, he owed it to them to have a holiday together the way they wanted to celebrate. It would be nice for a change not to be the entertainment, but to relax, and enjoy the holiday, maybe shop for Christmas himself, instead of having his secretary do it for him. And to loaf all day, eating and watching football...Evan found himself anticipating the holiday. I can afford one week, he reasoned. Just one, then work doubly hard for the next. I haven't had a real Christmas in twelve years, maybe longer. And Matt has never...He decided then and there that he would make this Christmas unforgettable for his family.

CHAPTER 9

Stan's condition deteriorated rapidly after Cam was summoned to the hospital, and despite prayers, pleas to God, even last minute hopes for a miracle, he passed from life into eternity in the wee hours of the morning. His family surrounded him at the end, and each was able to whisper their good-byes although they were never sure that he heard. The pastor was also at the bedside, offering comfort and strength to the devastated family. The hospital allowed the sisters time alone with their father before moving him to the morgue, then, as Sydney and Kiri left for home with their aunt and grandparents, Cam attended to the details, just as Evan said she would need. A funeral home came to claim the body, and they made an appointment with her for later in the morning to choose the casket and make arrangements. After papers were signed the pastor offered to drive Cam home, but she said she needed time alone before she faced her sisters again. She drove to a secluded spot by the river and walked to the bank under a bridge, where she cried until she had no more tears. Oh, Dad. I don't know how I'll live without you. I tried so hard to make you well. I needed your advice, your love, your companionship. You were my hero, the person I wanted most to be like. Now all I have is your memory, and what you taught me. I promise to do my best, to take care of Sydney and Kiri. You'll be so proud of me. But I wish you could be here to see it...Cam lowered her head and sobbed into her arms until she felt the warmth of the rising sun touch her. It was morning, time to face her sisters, comfort them, and then go make arrangements. This next week would be so busy she would not have time to grieve, and that suited her fine. She drove home and parked on the street; her driveway was already full with relatives and friends. Taking a deep breath, she strode purposefully to the house, ready to tackle the business of burying her father.

♥

Condolences were said as Cam entered the house, but she sought out her sisters immediately to assure herself they were being cared for in their grief. They were with her family so Cam moved on to the kitchen to find the pastor's wife and see about feeding the crowd. Mrs. Powell assured her that food was already plentiful, and it had only begun to arrive. Cam thanked her and went to her father's room to find the metal chest in which he kept his important papers. It was in the closet, so she dragged it to the bed. She noticed pictures on the dresser, of her, Sydney and Kiri, a family portrait from just after Kiri was born, and pictures of her parents, young, in love, from when they were teens until their wedding day. She put all of these in a pile to take to the funeral home. She also found recent pictures of her father and his girls, and placed those with the others. Then she chose an outfit for her father's burial—without a tie, at his request.

"I don't want to go into eternity with a tie strangling me," he said long ago, before Stan knew he was ill. How appropriate that Cam recalled it now. She placed his clothes on the dresser.

Next, she opened the strong box and found her father's insurance papers. Wrapped around these were explicit instructions regarding her father's funeral arrangements, his will, papers for Cam to sign for guardianship of Kiri and social security. He had prepaid his funeral, and all loans; the house and car carried insurance that paid them off in the event of Stan's death. He must have known he was dying, and wanted to make it as easy as possible for me, Cam realized. Her heart tore and she fell to her knees sobbing into her father's favorite plaid shirt that he kept on the bedpost.

"Thank you, Daddy," she cried. "You knew it would be me making all the arrangements, and how much I need your help."

Sydney stepped into the room. "What are you doing, Cam? Everyone's asking about you."

Cam showed Sydney the papers, and the pictures she had chosen for the funeral. "He knew he was dying, Syd, and he made sure all the plans were taken care of before it happened."

Sydney's tears turned into a torrent and she held her sister tightly. "I can't stand it, Cam! How could he leave us?"

"He was so sick," Cam said, her own eyes too blurry to see. "We didn't want him to suffer anymore. And he's with mom now. You know how much he missed her."

"That doesn't make it any easier to lose him," Sydney replied. "I thought when mom died my whole world came to end. Now it's that all over again."

"We still have each other," Cam said. "And Kiri needs us, Sydney. She's young and only understands how this affects her."

Sydney blew her nose into a well-used tissue. "I know, Cam. I'll help out, you'll see. I can't cook or clean or pay bills or do yard work...But I'll learn. But I'm good with Kiri, and I'll spend time with her."

"That would help me, Syd. We'll be okay. Dad made sure we wouldn't be financially ruined by his death. We have no car payment, no house payment and an insurance settlement that should help us for now, and pay Kiri's college later."

"Dad told me he knew how much you worried and so he had his lawyer take care of all this for you," Sydney said. "He told me a long time ago. I forgot about it until now."

"Oh, Sydney." Now it was Cam's turn to cry on her sister's shoulder. Her father had taken the responsibility for their financial future away from Cam, and that meant more to her than anything. He planned ahead to ensure his family's care.

The sisters took the strong box into the kitchen where the pastor sat with the rest of the group. Cam told him she had all the information that she needed, and he said that her father had asked long ago that his funeral service be held at the little church. Cam and Sydney agreed, and left the pastor to take care of the details surrounding that. They wrote a notice for the paper, and then Cam comforted her family and relatives. Aunt Barb was now the only survivor in her family; she had buried her parents, her brother, her sister-in-law, and it was just as hard for her this time as for Cam, Sydney and Kiri.

At nine, Barb, Cam and Sydney went to the funeral home for casket and burial arrangements. While they were gone, Kiri logged onto the computer to tell her friends about her father's death. She wrote a general letter, then a separate one for Matt, pouring out her grief to him. He wasn't online but she knew he would answer her as soon as he got her message.

Cam and Sydney returned within the hour, the arrangements complete. Stan would be shown for one night, Sunday, and then be buried Monday morning. Cam thought this would be easier on Kiri, having only one day for condolences. Her father wanted it to be as simple as possible, with a service and burial in a small private cemetery next to his wife. For Cam, the next few days were doubly precious; she still had her father with her as long as she could see his body. After Monday, he would be truly gone.

The family was exhausted, so Cam arranged beds so that they could nap before making phone calls and preparing for services. Cam sent her grandparents to Kiri's room and her aunt to Sydney's. Cam, Sydney and Kiri lay down to sleep on their parent's bed, the same one they cuddled in with their mother and father in happier times. None of them wanted to, but they all slept soundly until late afternoon when Grandma Burke woke them for supper, informing them that visitors were beginning to arrive again. So began a time too busy for the girls to grieve; visitation, service, too many condolences to count, and kind words spoken by strangers who seemed to know them all well. Cam was touched by how many people wanted to comfort her, and humbled because she had not shown the same concern for other's losses. Never again, she vowed, would she let another suffer without comfort. It was the least she could offer in return for the kindness shown to her now.

At the cemetery after service ended and the mourners found their way to cars, Cam, Sydney and Kiri stood at the side of the grave, gathering flowers from the bouquets and wreaths. Cam had placed mementos in her father's coffin, pictures of Stan's wife and children, his favorite plaid shirt, and a tape of Sydney singing Amazing Grace. Her father loved to hear Sydney sing.

When they could find no more reason to stay at the grave, the sisters reluctantly returned to church where the congregation, most of them Kiri's youth group, held a reception. Her friends surrounded Kiri, feeding her, fussing over her, making her laugh despite her grief. Cam spoke with each member of the crowd, introducing relatives to her church family, though sometimes she was so choked up she forgot names. Sydney left the reception and went to the sanctuary to play the piano, pouring out her grief into a song she composed as she sat. Cam could hear the music as it floated through the church and decided she would take a portion of the insurance money and purchase a piano so her sister could play at home. And I'll give Kiri dad's car when she gets her license. She's going to be driving soon...I'd better stock up on aspirin. Aunt Barb asked Cam if she wanted her to stay with them for a few days, but Cam assured her that she and her sisters were well. All Cam wanted after this horrible week was peace and quiet, to have the house alone again.

♥

The reception ended, finally, and as the last people left Cam found Kiri and Sydney so the three of them could go home and begin the rest of their lives without a father.

While Sydney napped, Kiri chatted on the computer, and Cam sorted through the cards, already a thick stack on the desk. She was so deep in condolences that Kiri startled Cam when she shouted her name.

"Camellia Anderson! I'm talking to you!"

"It's Cam, Kiri. What?"

"Did you send e-mail to Matt's brother?"

"Yes, the other day, when I came home from the hospital for a few hours."

Kiri typed something. "Matt wants to know if you've read your e-mail today."

"No, I was a little busy burying my father. Why?" Cam opened another envelope.

"He answered so you might want to check." Kiri went back to the screen.

"I will later," Cam promised, massaging her temple. A headache had formed, making her drowsy. "I'm going to nap for a while, Kiri. Tell Matt thanks for his concern."

"Wait, Cam." Kiri typed furiously, her fingers flying over the keyboard. Cam thought wryly, she's a great typist, I wonder if she can turn that into a moneymaking career. A few minutes later, Kiri turned from the screen again.

"Matt says they're coming to look at houses in two weeks. He wants to know if that's too soon after dad's...if it's too soon for us."

"No, not at all. It would be nice to meet him."

"So I can invite him over?" Kiri asked, her hands over the keyboard.

"Sure, Kiri. As long as Sydney or I are home." Kiri immediately relayed the message, while Cam went to the bedroom she shared with Sydney. She slipped in quietly as not to wake her sister, who was fast asleep. Cam lay on the bed and pulled the covers to her chin, then rolled to her side so she could look at her sister. How could Sydney sleep so peacefully when their whole world had been turned upside down? Doesn't she worry about the future, about how we will live though this heartache? Maybe this is her way of coping, and it certainly is better than feeling the sadness that accompanied every waking moment. Cam closed her eyes, feeling the veil of darkness descend over her, pulling her into the sleep she so badly needed. I feel so alone, she thought drowsily. So alone and scared.

♥

When Cam woke hours later it was near seven in the evening, Sydney was gone, and Kiri was on the phone making plans with her friends.

"I have to ask my sister, but I'm sure it's okay," Kiri said into the receiver. "Cam, do you mind if I go school shopping for a while tonight?"

"What time is it?" Cam asked, rubbing her eyes.

"After seven," Kiri replied. "We're going to hit the mall, then go to Wal-Mart."

"You would be seen there?" Cam asked, disbelieving. "I thought you said only low-life shops there."

"That's because you always do," teased Kiri. "Matt says he gets nice stuff all the time at Wal-Mart. They're open twenty-four hours so I can take my time. I want to get out for a while."

"Okay, sure, just don't be too late." Cam opened the refrigerator. It was loaded with food, especially deli meats and casseroles. "Bring your friends over to eat. I don't know how we'll finish all this."

"We'll probably get something to eat while we're out," Kiri said. She told her friends she would be waiting and went to her room to change.

Cam followed her. "Just remember, Kiri, now that Dad is gone, you have to answer to me, your legal guardian. I'm responsible for you, and I take that very seriously."

"I'm a perfectly responsible person, Cam."

"A minor, Kiri. I know you're a good girl, and I don't expect any trouble from you, but I want to make it clear to you that I am the adult in charge of this family now."

Kiri's face changed to anger. "I'm not a child, Cam. You can't treat me like one."

"Neither are you old enough to be on your own, you need supervision whether you want it or not." Cam bit her lip. This isn't what she meant to say; she wanted Kiri to be assured that Cam would not abandon or leave her sister to raise herself; she could lean on Cam and come to her with any needs, problems or questions. But she was saying it all wrong, and Kiri was becoming angry with her.

"I'm not going to do anything stupid, I'm just going shopping for crying out loud! Kiri threw her purse over her shoulder. "You act like I'm about to commit a crime!"

"Kiri wait, that's not what I mean. I care about you, I always will."

"Whatever," Kiri snapped, stomping past her sister, hoping she would not see the tears in her eyes. She expected Cam to go on a power trip once her dad died, but she didn't expect it so soon, or that she would be so mean about it. Now what was Kiri to do, if Cam tried to push her out of the house or make her so unhappy here she had to leave? This was her only home, what if she wasn't welcome? Kiri needed to know she was wanted, part of the family still. Did they even have a family now that Dad was gone? Her pride kept Kiri from running back inside and throwing herself into her sister's arms, but she needed to know. She sat on the step; half hoping her sister would follow her outside.

Cam sighed as Kiri slammed the front door closed behind her. I don't want all this responsibility, God, she prayed. Why must this all be on me? I'm not any better than anyone else is, I have doubts and fears. I need someone to lean on, someone who understands. Someone I can talk to...her eyes went to the computer. Matt's brother understood. He gave her practical advice and sympathy. Still, he was a stranger. He had his own life, why would he care that Cam needed a sympathetic ear? Still, he did seem to care a bit...She turned on the computer and went to the front door while it went from screen to screen.

"Kiri?" Cam called as she opened the door.

"What?" Kiri answered defensively.

"Have fun."

Kiri softened. "I won't be late."

"It's okay. You've had a hard week. I'll see you when you get home." She closed the door and went to the computer. WITLE had left her an e-mail, and there were numerous others, expressions of sympathy from online friends. She opened Evan's first.

Hey, Cam.

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. Be assured he is with Christ; Kiri told us he was a Christian, and I know you are too. Right now, I'm guessing you feel overwhelmed and alone, but you're not. Even if you don't feel the presence of God, He is still there working on your behalf. He loves you, Cam and knows your grief. Remember He gave his own son willingly to a world that couldn't care less. Lean on Him for comfort.

Don't be hasty to get rid of your dad's things. You'll be amazed later on, that little things mean so much, like a favorite cup or his tools. Hang on to things until you're sure of what you want to keep. These things are all you have left of him.

Take a portion of the insurance money and use it for something fun, your dad wouldn't want you to grieve forever. Get away on a vacation or something. I didn't, I went right to work after my mom died, but we were so poor I had no choice. Who would have guessed I'd end up traveling most of the year, and long to stay home? I've been going strong for twelve years without a break, and now Matt's bugging me to stop, but too many people are depending on me to quit now. Matt says so what, have fun! Yeah, right. Kids.

Cam laughed. She knew how aggravating teenagers could be.

Oh, great now I'm sounding like my parents—like you said in your letter. I'm thirty-one and I used to think that was old...now I can't imagine how life passed so fast...oh, sorry, I'm rambling. Here you are all wrapped up in grief over your dad, and I'm talking about how fast life goes. Please forgive me. So I'll end here with one offer. Write to me when you feel overwhelmed and alone. Your sister has been a good friend to Matt, and I want to return the favor—oh, one more thing. He is coming to your town to look for a house in two weeks, if it's not too soon for you to see him. He's anxious to be settled before school. I want to assure you he's as nice a kid as they come. I must have done something right...E.

Cam hit the reply button.

Evan, thanks for your letter of encouragement; how did you know exactly what I needed to hear? God must have told you, thanks for listening to Him. I know we will get through this, I just don't know how. My dad, unknown to me, took care of all the details before his death so I wouldn't be so lost and uncertain. He planned it all, which tells me he knew he was dying, and it hurts me to think I didn't comfort him enough. We buried him this morning and you're right, I have been too busy to grieve. I'm not looking forward to these next few days.

But I am looking forward to meeting your brother. Are you coming with him? We would be pleased to show you the city, there's not much to it, but it's home to us, and if you don't have a Realtor I can give you the name of a person from church. If Matt's anything like Kiri you probably have a stack of houses already, and he has them all memorized anyway.

Please don't apologize to me for rambling; your letters have been a comfort to me in my old age. (I'm just a few years younger than you, but to Kiri I am ancient and an old maid too. I'm just thankful I still have my own teeth.) Any time you feel like rambling, do it to me. I promise never to use the word, "duh" or roll my eyes, no matter what you write. Tell Matt we are looking forward to his visit. Thank you for finding time to write me in your busy travels.

She included a line from an Evan Worthy song about friendship, and signed her name. Thinking about Evan Worthy made her realize she hadn't listened to his music since her dad died, and she put on a CD while she went about cleaning her father's room, boxing up his things. It was a hard task, and she didn't want to wipe the traces of him from her life yet, but she did plan to move into his bedroom so she and her sisters could each have a room of her own. I'll put his things in boxes and keep them in the attic then decide later what to do with them. She worked on his room until Sydney returned, then fed her sister, telling Sydney of her wish to purchase a piano for the house. Sydney enthusiastically agreed, saying she was at church working on the music she had created today and wanted to do it at home where she had more freedom and privacy.

"How soon cam we look?" Sydney asked.

"Probably in a few weeks," Cam said. "You can find something now, but it'll be a while until the insurance check comes."

"I will," Sydney replied. "Maybe get thirty days same as cash. Cam, this is great! Now, if I just had words, I could sell my songs...it's what I was meant to do, I know it is. I can't work a regular job, I was never meant for that."

"I know this is true," Cam agreed. "Your music is good, Syd, but I haven't the faintest idea how to market it."

"I'll find out." Sydney looked up as Kiri entered through the back door. "Where were you?"

"What are you, the F.B.I.?" Kiri snapped.

"I'm just asking," Sydney said, wounded.

Kiri opened the freezer and pulled out ice cream. "Did you read your e-mail, Cam?"

"Yes. Evan sent a nice letter. I told him we would help them find a house when they visit."

Kiri ate ice cream out of the container despite Cam's disproving look. "It has to be in my school district. Matt and I are going to share a locker at school, since we're practically going steady, except we haven't met in person yet."

"He doesn't have much time, with school starting in a few weeks." Cam gave her a bowl from the cupboard, but Kiri ignored it.

"What's the big deal, moving here?" asked Sydney. "Just to see you?"

"There are other women in this world beside you, Sydney," Kiri said.

Sydney shook her beautiful head. "I mean why would he go through all the trouble of moving to a strange town and buying a house to be near someone he's never met?"

"I'm sure there are other reasons," Cam said, worry gnawing at her also despite Evan and Matt's assurances.

"He's been traveling with his brother all his life and he wants to stop." Kiri made a face at Sydney. "He wants to go to school and stuff. It's not just me. Why shouldn't he?"

Cam and Sydney had no answer for that. Kiri lifted her head and sniffed. "And when he gets here, we'll need some privacy to get to know each other better."

"Over my dead body," snapped Cam.

Kiri rolled her eyes and went to her room.

"Sydney, we are not leaving her alone with that boy for a minute." Cam put the ice cream container back in the freezer.

"Kiri told me her friend will be living with his older brother, not the one you talk to, but another," Sydney said. "We won't have to entertain them, will we?"

"I'm going to invite them over to check before I let her spend any time with Matt. Who knows what they're really like?"

Sydney frowned. "Tell me ahead of time so I can be gone."

Cam returned to the table and gripped Sydney's arm. "I need you to be here and help me. You're an excellent judge of character."

"I don't know," Sydney hedged.

"Please, Sydney, for Kiri's sake. You said you would help me with her."

"Oh, all right. But if one of them so much as looks at me funny..."

Cam laughed and let go of her sister. "I know, I know. I'll punch him in the nose."

Sydney grinned her agreement. "You and me both, sista."

Cam's eyes widened. "Look at us, Sydney! We're laughing. On the day we buried our father."

"Dad wouldn't want us to be sad forever," Sydney said.

"No, he wouldn't," Cam agreed. "But there is something we should discuss. We're getting that insurance money and it's a decent amount. It will carry us for a while, but what I would like to do is put it away, invest it, whatever, so we'll have it in an emergency."

"Fine, I trust you. Just let me get that piano!"

"Deal," Cam replied.

♥

CHAPTER 10

Over the next week, the sisters adjusted to a new life, their new roles and relationship with each other. Being the oldest and the breadwinner Cam was unofficially the leader of the small group. Sydney almost lost her job at the department store; her inattention was attributed to the loss of her father, so her boss gave her another chance with a stern warning. She was grateful, but not repentant; the song she was writing filled her head and made it impossible for her to think about anything else—it and the piano she would soon own. Kiri spent the week dealing with her grief, preparing for school, and trying Cam's patience with activities designed to test her older sister's authority. She stayed out late, used Cam's credit card without asking, went to see a movie of which Cam highly disproved, fought with Sydney about spending the insurance money on a piano, and slept half the day away. Finally, Cam cornered Kiri when she tried to slip out the door, and brought her back into the house, telling her friends that she would not be joining them this evening.

"How dare you!" Kiri stammered, stomping her feet and retreating to her room.

"Oh, no you don't," Cam said, catching up to her and closing Kiri's door before she was able to get inside. She led her sister back to the kitchen and sat her at the table. Kiri gave her an Oscar worthy sigh and rolled her eyes half off her face.

"What is going on with you?" Cam asked. "I feel like I'm living with a stranger."

"You don't really know me. You're so busy trying to run my life you don't even try to see how I feel about anything," Kiri complained.

Cam stared at her sister. "How do you figure?"

"Did you even ask me if I wanted a piano?"

Was this what was bothering her? That they were going to buy a piano? Cam tried not to laugh.

"I'm sorry I didn't consult you. It was something I wanted to do for Sydney, and then I planned to use more of the money for your college education. For some reason, I thought you would know that."

Kiri stuck out her lower lip. "Maybe I don't want to go to college. You and Sydney didn't."

Cam shrugged. "Can you imagine spending money on Sydney's education?"

They both giggled. Cam touched Kiri's arm. "I didn't go to college because dad started his bout with cancer just as I was about to start at Indiana University. We needed my income to help feed and clothe you and Sydney. At the time, I couldn't imagine wasting my time and dad's money on an education. Now I wish I had. I might have a career instead of making boxes for a living."

Kiri watched her sister closely. She had never known that Cam almost went to college. "So why don't you go now?"

Cam sighed. "I should. Believe it or not, making cardboard boxes is not my goal in life! And I want more for you, much more, Kiri. You, out of all three Anderson women have the sharpest mind, the greatest chance to make something of your life."

"I don't know what I want to be, Cam. Sometimes I'm really scared."

"You too?" Cam asked. "It's not an easy thing, being a grown up. Sometimes I freak! I wish I had someone else to be the responsible one."

Kiri looked at her sister doubtfully. "You like being bossy. It's what you do best."

Cam winced. "I feel the weight of responsibility all the time. But I don't have all the answers, Kiri. I just do what I know to be right."

"I do too, Cam." Kiri's eyes grew moist with tears. "And God doesn't care whether I do or not. He still took daddy and I was very good. I told God I would do anything if he let dad live, but he didn't."

"We can't figure the why of things, Kiri. The only guarantee we have in life is God's love and our eternal destiny. Everything else is uncertain. That's why we need Him so much."

"I needed my dad." Kiri's tears fell onto the table. Cam held her sister, knowing that the only comfort she could give her was her love and support. Cam needed her father too, but he was gone, and all they could do now was help each other to live without him.

"Kiri, I promise that I will be here for you no matter what. I will never leave you or stop loving you. I need you too, Kiri. You and Sydney and I only have each other now."

"And Aunt Barb, Grandma and Grandpa."

"Yes, but it's the three of us here in this house. We have to stick together, help each other to get over this. If we argue or hurt each other it will only drive us apart and make things worse."

Kiri wiped at her eyes and laid her head on Cam's shoulder. "I took your credit card because I was mad you were spending money on Sydney and not me."

Cam combed Kiri's hair with her fingers. "I knew that. But Kiri, just ask. You can have anything you need; I would never deny you. And if you want to take some money and shop till you drop, so what? I'd like to go a bit crazy myself right now."

"You?" Kiri laughed. "You're Miss Straight and Narrow. What would you do?"

"Buy a ticket to see Evan Worthy in concert, in Hawaii and chain myself to his tour bus."

Kiri laughed. "I swear, Cam. You have the worst crush on him!"

"I do," Cam confided, "But if you ever tell anyone I'll make your life a living...heck!"

"Can't say the word, can you?" Kiri pushed away from her sister. "I'm tired. I think I'll watch a video and go to bed."

"Ah, that sounds wonderful. I'm going to check my e-mail, and then I'll join you," Cam said. "Put on a weepy romantic chick flick."

Kiri groaned but said nothing, and went to the living room. Cam went online and checked her mail, nothing but spam, so she decided to close the screen and join Kiri, but before she did, an instant message popped up. It was from WITLE.

Hey Cam! Caught you online. How are you?

She smiled and typed back. Doing battle with Kiri. I think I won, but I won't know till the next skirmish. So are we still on for next week?

My brothers are. I have to be in Nashville for meetings to wrap up my latest project. I trust them to find a good house...oh, man I'm scared.

Cam laughed out loud. I will help all I can. Send them with a list of requirements like price range, how many bedrooms etc.

I have such detailed instructions they might never find anything, but I think in my heart I don't want them to go, so I made it difficult.

It's hard, I know. I can't imagine life without my sisters, though I'm willing to try, lol.

Matt is excited and I can't stand to hear him talk about it. So how are you really? Did you make it through the first week okay?

Yes, thank you. It was hard.

I'll get better, Cam. I promise.

I know. We're adjusting. I put my dad's stuff in the attic but I didn't get rid of anything. I couldn't.

My favorite memento of my mother's is her silver hairbrush. No kidding. I keep it with me.

That's very sweet.

I'm a sentimental guy.

Lol. You're too much.

No, I'm not enough. I don't think I ever will be.

I feel the same. I tried to make Kiri understand tonight that I am responsible for her. She wants it and resents it. How do you handle that with your brothers?

Uh, my brothers are moving away. Does that give you a clue?

Their loss, Evan. You seem like a loving brother with a demanding job.

I love my work as much as I love my family. It's like my baby too.

Want to trade? I make cardboard boxes for a living. The only thing I use my mind for at work is to count change for the pop machine.

While it sounds very...interesting...Ah, no.

Cam put her hand to her mouth and laughed. Ah life, a complex mystery unfolding before our eyes.

That sounds like a song.

It is. By Evan Worthy.

The Christian singer?

The ONLY singer as far as I'm concerned. His songs are my thoughts set to words. Oh, and they rhyme sometimes.

Of course. You have to rhyme to make a song, right? I guess he's okay. Kind of a dork though.

No, way! He's a babe, haha. Well not anymore, he cut his hair. I almost dropped out of the fan club and burned his CD's in protest.

Looks aren't everything.

For some of us, looks aren't anything.

You seem lovely to me.

Oh, great now we can never meet; you might find out the truth.

Not. True beauty comes from the heart. If we could only see people as God does...Matt is standing next to me. I think he wants to use the computer, he keeps sighing and pacing.

Tell him we are looking forward to meeting him. Call as soon as he gets into town and we'll meet for dinner. She left her phone number with them.

As she signed off, she thanked God for her new online friend and asked God to bless the work of his hands. And give him an extra portion, God, for being so kind to me.

♥

Evan turned the computer over to Matt and said a prayer for his online friend, Cam. Help her Lord, bless her and comfort her. Provide her with all she needs and bless her for loving my music. For some reason it was very important to Evan. He went to his room at the hotel, and for the first time in months, wrote a song about reaching out in kindness to hurting people.

♥

Matt stretched and yawned. "I'm so bored I'm tired." He knocked on Evan's bedroom door. "Want to do something? It's still early."

Evan opened the door between the rooms. "I can't go anywhere tonight. I'm writing a song, and then I need to do some paperwork, get checks for the crew, arrange to have our equipment stored..."

At this point both Matt and Keith stopped listening. Matt brought out a deck of cards and dealt a hand to Keith.

"Winner gets the master bedroom in the new house."

"Evan gets the master bedroom; he's paying for the house. You and I will be lucky to sleep in the garage."

"Did I say I need an office in the house?" Evan said from the doorway.

"Yes, Evan," both of his brothers replied.

"Good because I have to be in touch with my company at all times."

Matt sorted his hand, discarding unneeded ones. "He's so bossy, did you ever notice that?"

Keith grinned. "I'm used to it."

♥

CHAPTER 11

The last concert of the tour always brought mixed feeling for the band and crew. As much as they were anticipating going home, they had all grown close during the months on the road together and would miss each other's company. Some tears were likely, especially by the women, and rare hugs would be shared between the men, but as sorry as they were to part company, they were equally anxious to be home with their loved ones. As the final concert ended, Evan brought out his entire crew to the stage and thanked each one personally for a job well done, and then sent them off stage to open gifts of appreciation. Gloria had done an exceptional job this year of finding the right present for each person, and Evan was careful to give her credit. Final bows were taken, the crowd cheered one last time, the band played the ending notes as Evan exited the stage...and then it was over. The crew gathered for a prayer of thankfulness before Evan rushed to his dressing room to prepare for the usual post-concert activity. He called to them as he left the backstage area to be done as fast as possible so they could start the farewell party back at the hotel. As he neared his dressing room, his guitar player stopped him to say good-bye; his wife was expecting a baby any moment and he was in a hurry to get home.

"Joe, I forgot you need to be going. Here's your paycheck. Congratulations. Name the baby after me."

Joe laughed. "It's going to be a girl. My wife might have a problem with the Evan part."

Evan slapped him on the back. "Keep me posted, I want to send a gift."

"Please not a tape of our tour," teased Joe. "I spent half of it in arena restrooms with the flu."

"No, something frilly and girlish. I'll have Gloria help me. Take care, buddy. I'll call you when the next studio session starts."

"Sure, and come see the baby when you're in Nashville."

Evan smiled. "I will, Joe. It's been a long time since I held a baby."

"Like holdin' a football," laughed Joe. He waved and went to catch his ride. Evan continued to his dressing room, but when he opened the door, hundreds of balloons tumbled out, spilling into the hallway.

"MATT!" Evan yelled, laughing.

"I'm in here," came a muffled voice.

"Inside the room?" asked Evan, pushing balloons out of the way. He jumped as another popped.

"Yeah, I'm kind of stuck."

"Serves you right," Evan said as he fought his way through the room. "You're going to have to pop your way out."

The bang of balloons popping filled Evan's ears as he wrestled his way to the closet to change clothes.

"Who helped you with this?" Evan shouted over the noise.

"Keith, who else?" Matt's voice sounded closer.

"And where is he?"

Matt broke through the wall of balloons. "I don't know. I lost him about an hour ago."

"Okay.... Where's Gloria?"

"I paid her twenty dollars to get lost." Matt's hair was standing straight up from static.

"Nice 'do," commented Evan.

Matt combed his hair down with his hands. "At least I have hair. At your age, you must wonder if it will grow back."

"I can't wait until you're eighteen so I can beat you up legally."

Matt coughed loudly. "You couldn't beat me if you tried, woosie boy."

"Oh, yeah?" Evan jumped at his brother and wrestled him to the floor. Matt was surprisingly strong for his age and matched his brother's strength.

"Cry uncle any time," Matt said, holding Evan's arms behind his back.

"I'm just warming up," Evan claimed, flipping his brother and wrapping his arm around his neck. "Who's the man?"

Matt dipped, rolling his older brother over his shoulder and onto the bed of balloons. They sounded like gunfire as they broke. Before Evan could break away, the door of his dressing room opened and Mitch stood in the doorway with a group of pastors from local churches. They were astonished to see the superstar on the floor of his dressing room in a headlock.

"Oh, hello, gentlemen," Evan said from under Matt's arm. "Have you met my brother, Matt?"

Matt let go of Evan. He stood up and straightened his clothes, then shook the pastors' hands.

"I was just showing my little brother who the real boss is," he explained.

"And now you know," said Matt. "So next tour I want my own dressing room."

Evan led the pastors away from his balloon-filled room to the backstage where he had his crew set up chairs. They talked for a while, and a couple of the men gave Evan wrestling tips. Evan sent Mitch to tell Matt and Keith that they had better have every balloon removed before he was finished or they were walking to Nashville. After the meeting with the pastors, Evan spent some time with contest winners from the local radio station. He signed autographs and fielded questions patiently, though he was anxious to get to the farewell party before Matt and Keith could plan any more embarrassing pranks. When he was finally free, Evan found the party in full swing without him—and they were playing Steven Curtis Chapman's music. He acted put out, but the crew only laughed and told him how tired they were of hearing Evan sing.

"Think about that when you want your paycheck," he teased. In reality, Evan was also sick of hearing his own voice singing the same songs so often he could do it in his sleep—and often did. His dreams were frequently concerts, songs floating through his head even then. Though he loved to sing, it was still a struggle to keep the emotion, the message real and fresh each time he sang onstage. Routine was his comfort, and his enemy—as much as people came to his concerts to be entertained, they also came to be ministered to, and Evan could not disappoint them. He sang not only for the crowd, but also to and for the Lord of his life. How could he not feel anything when he sang? More often than he would like to admit, he did just that. It was easy to forget, to go through the motions only, especially if he was tired or distracted. Or when he felt empty inside, like he had nothing to give those who looked to him for answers to life's hard questions. How could he admit he hadn't figured it all out yet?

♥

"Hey, Evan get over here," called his manager. "We have something for you."

Evan obeyed, taking a chair provided for him while the rest of the group found chairs of their own in front of a large screen television. A video, highlights of the tour from the start until this very night played on the screen. Much of it was filmed without his knowledge, which alarmed Evan, but also pleased him—at no time when he was unaware of the camera did he engage in less than honorable behavior; he was sincere and earnest, just as he strove to be anyway, and it showed. Some of the worst moments from the tour were also played—the illness (lots of bathroom footage, probably Matt's idea), the broken piano, and Matt jumping onstage to replace the fallen guitar player. Then the best moments of the tour were played, namely the night Evan invited seekers to come forward and receive Christ.

Last, there were personal messages from each of the crew, some funny, some touching, all with praise for their fearless leader. Evan was so moved he could barely speak and was at a loss for words as the whole crew cried out, "Speech!" at the end of the video.

He stood slowly, wiping at his eyes. "Man, you guys...this was the best...present you could have given me. I just want you to know that I appreciate each and every one of you. Ya'll are like family to me." He nodded to his brothers. "Which is certainly an improvement over the one I already have."

The crew laughed as Evan continued. "We had some great fun. You were all very professional and I knew I could depend on you to do your best at all times, even when we were so sick. God bless all of you, and keep in touch. I hope to have the next CD in production soon and plan the next tour about eighteen months from now. So, thanks, everyone..." His voice broke, and he stopped.

"That's our cue to eat!" announced Matt, leading the line to the refreshment table. Evan stayed at the party until the last employee said their good-byes then he went to his room, exhausted.

"It's over," he sighed, falling onto his bed.

"Yeah, it was an interesting tour," Keith said from the doorway between the rooms. "But I'm ready to stay in one place for a while."

"I just want to sleep in my own bed," admitted Evan. "And eat something that hasn't been catered."

"When will we be in Nashville?" Matt asked.

"We should be home by tomorrow night," Evan said. "I didn't plan on us leaving early. And Matt, I know what's on your mind. Don't even say it. I don't want to think about you leaving, not tonight."

"That's all I think about," Matt sighed.

Evan got up from the bed and closed the door between the rooms without another word.

♥

The night before Keith and Matt left for Indiana was supposed to be family night, a time for the three brothers to spend alone, eating a big dinner left by the housekeeper, but Evan got called away just as they began to eat, and didn't return until late. Keith was already asleep, and Matt was on the computer, so Evan went to his room, thinking that he would e-mail Cam tomorrow to see how his brothers were doing. He wished with all his heart that he could join them in their search, but as always, duty called, and he wasn't free to leave. What am I going to do when they do move, Evan wondered? I'll need to hire a housekeeper for them, but how will I do that if I'm not there? Who will take Keith to doctor appointments? What about furniture? Countless details needed to be addressed, but Evan had so many other demands on him at the present he couldn't even begin to think of how to meet them. He became angry again that Keith and Matt were leaving him, but instead decided to channel his feelings into prayer, putting his brothers in the Lord's care. I don't own them; I have to remember that, Evan told himself.

The next morning, Evan drove his brothers to the Nashville airport. They packed light, since their visit would be brief, and they didn't need to check any bags so they sat in the terminal with their rolling backpack at Matt's feet. Evan had hoped for a private sendoff with his brothers, but despite a baseball cap and dark glasses, he was recognized and surrounded by fans, so his last moments before they left were highly impersonal, leaving Evan feeling empty and left out. Keith and Matt were happy, excited, but Evan was going home alone. Somehow, it didn't seem fair; he had dedicated his life to the care of his brothers, but now his job was almost finished and instead of feeling satisfied that they were on their own, he felt lost and forlorn.

His fans followed him to the parking area and he tried his best to escape without seeming rude. All he wanted was to get away. He wasn't feeling very sociable right now; he was sad and hurt. At least they'll be back later this week, he consoled himself. I still have a few days with them. It would be his only comfort for the coming week.

♥

At home, Evan moved through a silent apartment hoping it would be easier to compose music and songs without interruption. So he sat down at his piano tinkering, trying to make the notes fall into a pattern. Nothing seemed to work; he tried to think of words, to allow his tumbling emotions to surface; he even played old melodies to copy the sound. Finally, he gave up and found his Bible, reading until his eyes were blurry. Then he drove to the storage facility to check on his equipment, which had arrived safely. That took all of thirty minutes. He went to his office and worked a few hours on things he needed to address, grew restless again and went out to eat. He changed his mind when he was recognized at the restaurant and took his food home. Get used to it, he told himself. This is going to be your life now. That depressed him even more, so he opened the computer to check his e-mail before he tried again at the piano. An electronic greeting card from Cam awaited him. It read, Stay strong, Evan. Things will get better, I promise you. Where did I hear that? Enjoy the peace and quiet. I'd trade with you any day.

He smiled at her thoughtfulness and closed the screen. Thanks, Cam, he said to himself. I needed that today. He unpacked his dinner and turned on the television.

♥

CHAPTER 12

Kiri was awake and dressed before noon.

"You're up early," Cam commented.

"Matt said we're going to meet for dinner at the Olive Garden." Kiri rummaged around the kitchen for food. "He's going to look at houses all day and then call us when they're finished. Six o'clock or something. Don't forget."

"Oh, I'm sure you'll remind me about a hundred times before then," Cam replied. She was sorting through the mail, placing bills in a pile. The insurance check had arrived and she held it in her hand as she found bills related to the funeral.

Kiri saw the check also. "Wow, Cam. I've never seen that much money."

"It's not a fortune, Kiri. We have to be careful how we spend or invest it."

"I need new clothes for tonight," Kiri said. "I don't have anything to wear and I want to make a good impression with Matt."

Cam smiled. "He'll like you no matter what you wear."

Kiri shook her head. "Nothing I have looks good on me. Can you take me shopping today?"

Cam recalled her promise to Kiri. "Sure. Why don't you eat breakfast while I work on these bills, and then we'll head to the mall?"

Kiri agreed and made a bowl of cereal. "Where's Sydney?"

Cam put her pen on the table. "At the church. She had a song in her head."

"At least there's something in there."

"Now, Kiri, be nice."

Kiri rolled her eyes. "She spends way too much time using the church's piano. The pastor should make her play for the church for letting her use it all the time."

"She can compose at home soon," Cam said. "We'll be able to get the piano now."

That made Kiri sneer. "Great. Now we have to hear it all day and night at home."

Cam frowned at her sister. "We have to hear you all day too and we don't complain."

Kiri sat up straight. "Yes you do. Every day. Every hour. Every time you see me."

"At least I'm consistent. May I please finish this so we can shop?"

Kiri made a noise and ate the rest of her cereal in silence.

♥

They passed the real estate office on the way to the mall. It was only miles out of their way; but Kiri was insistent, hoping to get a glimpse of the men before they met in person. However, they must have been out looking at houses with the agent so the women continued with their mission to dress Kiri. Seven or eight stores later, and more money than Cam had ever spent on clothes, Kiri was looking good, Cam had a few new outfits (Kiri badgered her into updating her wardrobe), and they were ready to meet the men.

"Sydney!" Cam called as she and Kiri returned home.

"I'm in here," came the muffled reply from behind the bathroom door.

"Are you ill?" Cam asked, opening the door.

"A little privacy please!" exclaimed Sydney. "Some people bathe, Cam."

"In the middle of the afternoon?" Cam protested. Then she noticed Sydney's red, puffy eyes, and she understood. Closing the door quietly Cam returned to the kitchen, fighting her own grief. She did the usual Saturday chores, laundry, dusting and dishes, and then about an hour later the phone rang. Cam did not attempt to answer whenever Kiri was home; she might be trampled in her sister's rush to get to the phone. Kiri's delighted squeal gave Cam a clue that the men were in town and waiting to meet them.

"We're on our way!" Kiri gushed. "Don't eat without us!" She slapped the phone on the hook and ran to the bathroom door. "Move it Sydney! Matt's waiting!"

Sydney mumbled an answer and opened the door, wrapped in a towel, with no makeup on her face and hair uncombed. Cam knew she was hoping that her sisters would excuse her, but they did not intend to let Sydney stay home. Cam hurried her into the bedroom and threw clothes at her sister while Kiri brushed and styled her hair. Cam couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy; Sydney looked magnificent without makeup, her hair flowing uncombed. It wouldn't matter how Kiri and Cam fixed her up, she would look beautiful anyway. Cam always looked slightly rumpled no matter how much care she took with her appearance. Someday, she thought, I'm going to have someone show me how to dress and have my hair styled by someone other than myself. Maybe then, I can compete...she eyed Sydney. Never mind. Next to Sydney, she would always look like a wilted flower, so she might as well accept the facts, and make the most of her best asset, her common sense. Taking care of her family was more important than her physical attributes, or lack of them.

"Time's wasting, let's go!" insisted Kiri. "We're making them wait!"

Cam searched for her keys as Sydney shuffled out of the bedroom, her step deliberately slow.

"Don't say or do anything to embarrass me," Kiri warned. "And Sydney, don't you run off or give Matt's brother the evil eye. They're my friends."

"He better not make a pass at me or say anything stupid," Sydney shot back. "Or I'll make him sorry he ever set foot in this town."

Kiri made a rude gesture that made Sydney angrier.

"I get remarks from your scummy little friends all the time," Sydney snapped.

"You're dreaming," Kiri replied. "All my friends think you're stuck on yourself." Kiri jumped into the front seat of the car before her sister could.

"Both of you stop," Cam scolded. "Let's just be nice tonight, and enjoy our company. Who knows, you might like them, Syd. Kiri, you might find that Matt's a jerk. We don't know what they're really like."

"I heard Matt's voice for the first time today," Kiri said dreamily. "He sounds real cute."

"Don't be disappointed if he's not," cautioned Cam. "You already like the person he is inside. That's the most important part. The outside shouldn't matter at all."

"Well, it does," said Kiri. "That's why SOME of us wear makeup and style our hair. And dress nicely."

"Sydney huffed indignantly. "I want a man who will love me for who I am, not what I look like."

"Too bad you and Cam couldn't trade faces then," Kiri said dryly. "Cam's got more brains than looks, and you waste yours."

"Good looks are a curse, Kiri. You and Cam will never understand."

Kiri shot back, "Yeah, well you'll never know what it's like to have a complete thought."

"Ladies!" Cam interjected. "This is not constructive! Everyone is different, and the most important thing isn't looks or brains, it's how you treat others."

"Cam, queen of the Andersons has spoken," teased Kiri.

Cam pulled the car into traffic. "I will take no course of action that leads my sisters to war." She slapped at Kiri.

"Ow! Child beater!"

Cam laughed and ducked a blow from Kiri. "You haven't seen anything yet, sista. Stop, you little beast! I can't drive."

Kiri shrugged. "If you would let me drive..."

"Ugh, that's scary. This whole town is in danger."

"Ha, ha." Kiri looked out the window, playing with her hair absently. "I wonder if Matt will want to go steady right away."

"Steady?" choked Cam.

"We have an established electronic relationship," Kiri explained. "It's only natural we take this next step."

"Step any further and you're grounded," Cam replied. "You're only sixteen."

"Some cultures marry their daughters at fourteen."

"Not ours."

Kiri rolled her eyes, her trademark expression. "I'm like a prisoner in this family."

Cam rolled her eyes in the same fashion and laughed. "Prisoners don't get to go out for dinner."

♥

The hostess led them through the restaurant's cavernous rooms to a long table in the back to where Matt and Keith waited anxiously. Kiri latched onto Cam's arm and squeezed so tight it went numb, her face giving away her excitement. The men at the table were wonderfully handsome, Matt with his dark, loosely curling hair that touched his shoulders and Keith, whose hair was more sandy than blonde, shorter than his brother's, and neatly styled. Both had the same dark blue eyes, but while Matt's grew wide in pleasure at the sight of Kiri, Keith's took on a veiled, carefully polite smile and he avoided the women's gaze. Matt stood to greet the women, shaking their hands, holding onto Kiri's as she sat, but Keith stayed in his chair and acknowledged them with his smile. Cam was a bit perplexed; Keith barely looked at Sydney and seemed uncomfortable, though he hid it well. Sydney of course, held her head high, barely acknowledged both Matt and Keith and kept to herself most of the meal.

The group made small talk as they introduced themselves, while Matt kept staring at Kiri as if he could barely believe his eyes. Kiri found reasons to touch him, his sleeve, his wrist, hair that sometimes fell into his eyes. They were getting along too well, and it alarmed Cam. Matt ordered for Kiri as if he already knew so much about her it was natural, and Kiri sighed in pleasure at the sound of his voice. As they waited for their meals, Matt and Kiri, who had eyes only for each other, made conversation that excluded the older adults, so Cam felt obliged to entertain Keith and Sydney, who were studiously avoiding each other.

After a while, Keith seemed to relax slightly, growing more comfortable around Cam though he still wasn't speaking to Sydney. Cam thought this was a good time to ask him about his plan for the future.

"Have you found any suitable homes?" Cam asked, sipping her soda.

"Well, yes and no," Keith replied. "We have a pretty detailed list of what we need and that narrows our choices."

"But you're definitely looking to buy," Cam continued.

Keith nodded. "We plan to live here at least until Matt leaves for college in a couple years. I don't want to rent, I'm looking at the house as both stability and an investment."

"I want to live here forever," Matt said, smiling at Kiri. "I know this is what I'm looking for."

"That's nice," replied Cam, not meaning it, "But you still have to finish college before you make a commitment."

"For a minute there I thought I was listening to Evan," Matt laughed. "What college are you going to, Kiri?"

"Depends," she said, batting her eyelashes. "I'll probably go where my boyfriend does."

Matt smiled widely and sighed.

Keith coughed and deftly changed the subject. "Tell me about the schools around here."

Sydney spoke before Cam could answer. "They're passable, but not exceptional, unless you're big on sports. Indiana loves its high school teams."

"I'd like to play football," Matt said.

"And I could cheer for you, but it's too late for you to join the team. You can play basketball or wrestle." Kiri tore a breadstick with her fingers and bit it slowly. Cam kicked her under the table.

"Keith taught me to wrestle, but no one can beat him," Matt remarked. "He's got the strongest arms in the world; his upper body is incredible from—"

"I don't think they're interested in that," Keith said, cutting off Matt's words. "What about work in this town? I know about the recreational vehicles. What other industries are in Elkhart?"

"You name it, we have it," said Cam. "We have so much related to the recreational industry, mobile homes, and many conversion factories."

"But not a decent mall," Kiri lamented. "We have to go to Mishawka for that."

Matt's fingers found their way to Kiri's hands again. Cam raised her eyebrows and shared a glance with Keith.

"At least we don't have to worry about them getting along," she remarked.

Keith smiled apologetically. "Even if they don't, he's still sold on this idea of being rooted and going to a real school."

"Evan said you travel frequently." Cam sipped her pop and waited for his answer.

Keith chose his words carefully, playing with the paper from his straw as he thought. "Constantly. My brother's occupation keeps us moving, and Matt's been on the road since he was tiny."

"What does your brother do for a living?" Sydney asked, finally looking at him.

"He's in the Christian music industry. He has his own company."

"A record company?" Sydney leaned forward.

"No, but he's working on starting his own label. He's also thinking of buying a recording studio, helping new talent."

"Does he write or sing?" Sydney asked, studying Keith's face.

He moved, uncomfortable under her stare. "Everyone in Nashville sings."

"Sydney is a composer," Cam said. "She writes beautiful music, it's a gift."

Sydney looked at Cam. "Only music. I can't seem to put words to my songs; I'm only able to write melodies. I love poetry but I can't write any of my own."

"Really?" asked Keith, his eyes coming alive for the first time. "I...write words, poems. But putting them to music...I just can't. I'm not musically inclined at all."

"He sings like a wounded animal," Matt laughed.

"You and Cam should get along fine then," claimed Kiri. "We beg her not to sing at home, but she puts on that dweeb Evan Worthy and sings like she's in concert with him. It makes me gag."

Matt and Keith traded amused looks. Cam blushed and cleared her throat. "Thank you, Kiri for telling my deepest darkest secret to men we are trying to impress. I promise to make a list of all your faults and broadcast them over the Internet."

"I don't have any, so too bad," Kiri laughed. "My pastor says I'm a role model for other teens."

Cam and Sydney stayed silent but only to keep from laughing. Then Sydney turned to Keith and looked at him doubtfully, her eyes narrowing.

"You write songs? How convenient. I suppose you can't wait to show me in private."

Keith looked as if he had been shot down. His face reddened as he became disconcerted. "No, I mean yes, I write, but no, I wouldn't presume..."

Cam gave her sister a dirty look. "Sydney, he never said ..."

"So where are these songs? Do you carry them with you?"

Keith managed to clear his throat and answer her as Cam gave him a sympathetic look and glared at Sydney.

"I write them anywhere the inspiration strikes me. Sometimes even on napkins at a restaurant. I have some in my pocket from on the plane." He reached into his pants and pulled out a few scraps of paper, laying them in front of Sydney. "I hate to fly and I wrote about that, but usually I write about God and my feelings, good or bad."

Sydney read carefully, her hands smoothing the paper as she moved from verse to verse. A slow smile spread over her face. "You use words like pictures."

"I just like to write," he confessed. "If I get a poem in my head it haunts me until I have it on paper. I can't earn a living writing but I still feel compelled to do it."

Sydney gave him the papers. "These are very nice, Keith. You're very talented."

He blushed and avoided her eyes. "Thanks. You don't know how hard it is to share them with anyone but Matt, even Evan. I wouldn't have shown them now if you hadn't...uh, convinced me."

"I thought you were..." she stopped. "I was rude, Keith. I'm sorry."

He forgave her with his eyes.

"Men use any angle to impress me. I'm always on my guard because it makes me uncomfortable."

Keith looked her in the eyes. "It's very difficult for a man to see beyond a beautiful face, just as it is for women to look any further than a man's physique. Many good people are dismissed because they are imperfect on the outside."

"I've heard every line there is," Sydney confessed. "Not one of them was as honest as you, though."

"I've had lots of experience with this issue," said Keith. "My brother, not you, Matt, is a very handsome, charismatic guy, and women flock to him. They aren't as interested in his character as they are his good looks, and his success."

"And how does he feel about that?" Sydney asked. "Does he play the field?"

"Evan?" laughed Matt. "He hates it! He's always got some woman claiming God told her to marry him, but he doesn't even date, he's like, married to his job. And he says any woman he marries would essentially be marrying all three of us."

Cam laughed along with the rest but was mystified. What kind of man was Evan that he attracted hoards of women, was wildly successful in his job, and yet hated the attention? She thought for a moment. The name Beers didn't sound familiar to her, but then why should it?

The waiter returned to the table with the dinners, his eyes on Sydney as he asked if they needed anything else. Sydney gave him the cold shoulder and ignored his question.

"We're fine, thank you," said Cam. "Keith, what do you do for a living?"

Keith looked uncomfortable. "I worked for my brother but I'm going to need a job here. I have to get a driver's license first."

"An Indiana license?" Sydney asked. "You only need to change your Tennessee licensee and take a test."

"I, uh, don't drive. We have a driver," Keith answered.

"Ooh, you're rich!" Kiri squealed. "This gets better all the time!"

Keith and Matt laughed.

"Evan is rich," Matt corrected her. "We're just the poor brothers who will have to work for a living now that we're not living off of him."

"You'll have money for dates, won't you?" Kiri wondered.

"Depends on what we do," said Matt. "I can't afford restaurants like this all the time."

Kiri waved her hand. "Only old people eat here anyway." My friends and I hang out at Taco Bell or MacDonald's."

"I'll take you to movies and stuff," Matt promised. "I'll get a job right away."

"I'm going to introduce you to all my church friends tomorrow," Kiri said. "And then I'll help you make friends when we start school."

"I can't wait." He bit into his lasagna and there was silence for a few minutes while they ate.

Kiri put her fork down and stared at Matt. "We can go school shopping on Monday if you would like. But what you're wearing now is about the same as we all wear here."

He stared at her also. "Good because this is what I like to wear. I get most of my stuff at thrift stores, that's where the really cool shirts are."

"Me too!" gushed Kiri, making Cam frown. Kiri wouldn't shop at a thrift store if her life depended on it.

"I'll get my license first thing," Matt said. "Then we can drive to school together."

"Great, because Cam makes me take the bus."

Matt was outraged. "No way! I'll have a car next week, I swear."

Cam, Keith and Sydney looked at each other and chuckled.

"Back to houses," Cam said. "Tell me what you're looking for and what you've found so far." Cam waited while Keith produced a list and a stack of flyers.

"These are the ones we've seen so far today. I marked each one that fit, but really none of them came close to what Evan wants."

Cam studied the list. "This is a very strange request, Keith. What in the world does he need these things for?"

"He plans to work from home when he visits. He doesn't have the luxury of time off just to see us, his career is so demanding."

"I can't imagine," Cam said, wondering. "You know, I've seen something that might come close, it's off a fairly busy county road on the edge of town. However, it's gated; I see that on the list, it has large outbuildings and sits back off the road for privacy. And it's not on the list, but a river runs through the property. I don't know if there's a dock."

"I know which house you mean," said Sydney. I love that place. I always wondered what it was like inside."

"I'll call the real estate agent tonight," Keith offered. "Do you think we can see it on a Sunday?"

"No problem, I'm sure," replied Cam.

"And I'll ask if you can come along," Keith said to Sydney, blushing. "That is if you would like..."

"I'd love to," answered Sydney, surprising all of them. "If it's okay with you."

He smiled shyly. "It would help to have a woman's opinion. Matt and I live on a bus; we don't know the first thing about what a house should have."

Sydney looked at him steadily. "And Cam? Can she come along?"

Keith nodded. "Of course. Kiri too. Let's all go."

"I have to lead worship at church," Cam said. "How about around noon?"

They all agreed.

"We can drive past tonight after dinner," Sydney suggested. "Do you guys want to come over for a while or are you too tired?"

"I'm not tired at all," answered Matt quickly.

"Me either," said Kiri.

The waiter appeared again, asking about dessert. He looked at Sydney as if she was.

"I have pie at home," said Cam. "Homemade."

"Aw," cheered Matt. "With ice cream?"

"Yes, if you want. We have tons of stuff still left over from the funeral."

Matt took Kiri's hand and held it. "I'm so sorry about your dad."

Kiri sniffed but smiled. "It's okay, Matt. Thanks for caring."

The waiter took Keith's credit card. He insisted on paying for the women's meals. "Evan would kill me if I didn't," he explained. They waited until the server returned the card, then Matt jumped up.

"Ready?" he said to Kiri. She nodded and joined him and they were holding hands before they left the table. Matt didn't leave however; he waited for his brother, who rose slowly from his chair, reaching behind him for a pair of metal braces. Sydney watched wide-eyed as he struggled to stand and fit his hands into the handles. She almost cried aloud, and went immediately to his aid.

"You're disabled," she said in an understatement. "Now I understand what you said earlier about being women not looking any further than a man's physique. You are so handsome, how can they not see that?"

"You are so beautiful, how can they not see your heart?" Keith replied, smiling uncertainly as he struggled to walk. Sydney took his arm and held it to steady him. He didn't really need her help but he certainly wasn't going to refuse. She held on to him until they were at Cam's car.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Sydney asked. "I judged you unfairly, the very thing I despise."

"I don't like to mention it at all," Keith replied. "People treat me differently when they know about my legs, as if I'm stupid."

"They're the morons," Sydney declared. "Your legs have nothing to do with your brains."

"I thought if you knew about my legs you would think less of me," Keith confessed.

"Actually, I think more of you," said Sydney. "I can't imagine what you must have had to overcome to live a normal life."

He stood upright and took one hand out of the brace. "This is normal, for me." Sydney opened the back door and allowed him to seat himself first, then went to the other side of the car and slid in beside him, taking his hand and holding it. Cam, Kiri and Matt shared the front seat as they drove to the house by the river. There was a dirt road, maybe just a driveway outside the gate that led to the river, so Cam parked there and let the group see the property from outside the fence.

"This is like, so perfect!" Matt exclaimed. "And there are horses! Think they'll let us keep them?"

"I don't know," Keith said. "But I would imagine they're taking them."

"We'll buy more," Matt decided. "Kiri, let's go by the water." They went off together without the rest.

"Do you think they'll be okay alone?" Cam asked Keith.

"Your guess is good as mine," he answered. "But teenage love...you know how that is."

Neither Cam nor Sydney actually did, but they agreed with Keith anyway.

"I'll give them five minutes," Cam decided. "Nothing can happen in five minutes, can it?"

Keith and Sydney both looked skeptical. Cam immediately started after the others. They were by the bridge, and Matt was letting the water flow over his bare feet.

"I can fish here, Kiri," Matt said happily. "I love to fish. And we can canoe, and maybe camp by the river."

"With the youth group," Kiri added. "Not alone, right?"

"Oh, no, I would never ask that of you," Matt said, hurt. "I'm not that kind of guy and I thought you weren't either."

"I'm not," she said. "But you can kiss me all you want."

"I like that," he said, pulling her to him. Cam made a loud noise and they both jumped apart.

"Let's head back to the house for pie," she insisted, more of an order than a suggestion.

♥

At home, they broke into two groups, Matt and Kiri, Keith and Sydney. Cam was the odd person, but she really didn't mind, she was glad they were getting along so well, and she was able to keep an eye on all of them since they were in her home. She cleaned the kitchen, finished laundry and wrote e-mail for Evan to let him know his brothers arrived safely. And that she adored them. The men stayed late into the evening, long after Cam went to her room to read and listen to music, and when she fell asleep she could still hear quiet conversation. I hope they can all wake up in time for church tomorrow, she thought before she shut her eyes.

♥

The next day, Cam went to church ahead of the rest to get the music ready. The pastor was there, and he asked her about Sydney and Kiri, wondering how they were coping with their father's death.

"Oh, I'd say quite well," Cam laughed, not explaining. "You would be amazed."

The others arrived just before service. Immediately, teens from the church surrounded Matt and Kiri. They all sat together and made Matt feel welcome, like a celebrity. The entire group wanted to meet him, sit by him and share their Bible, but he only had eyes for Kiri. She was given the place of honor by his side and acted like a queen holding court with her subjects. It amused Cam immensely to watch the spectacle, Matt trying to talk to everyone at once, and Kiri holding onto him possessively. They were both supremely happy, and it made Cam both glad and pensive that her sister could find such joy in the midst of her grief. Then Keith and Sydney entered the sanctuary and Cam felt another, different twinge in her stomach.

Her sister too, held onto her new friend possessively, and she too, kept him only for herself. Keith was beaming, radiant, and watching Sydney as if she was a vision that might disappear if he blinked. They sat in the last row, in front of the music equipment and Cam was a party to their bliss from worship through the rest of the service. Sydney never let go of him, whether singing, praying or listening to the sermon, her arm resting on his or holding his hand. Keith touched her too, sharing her Bible, whispering in her ear, or sneaking looks while pretending to listen to the pastor. Cam was sure neither of them had the faintest idea what today's lesson was, or did they care. They were aware of only the other.

After church, they met the real estate agent at the house on the county road, and the five of them spread out to explore different buildings. Matt was most interested in the horse barn, which had a furnished den with a fireplace; he and Kiri immediately claimed it for the youth group as a meeting place. Keith and Sydney went through the house, talking about where to put the piano, and found a large, sunlit living room that they immediately claimed as their song writing room. Cam and the agent walked both the house and the grounds, talking about the price, square footage, acreage, whether or not the appliances or furnishings stayed. She made sure there was an office for Evan, that the outbuildings were large enough to house a bus and that the gate, electric fence and alarms were in good working order.

The agent said she had a few other houses similar to this one, but as far as Keith and Matt were concerned, they had found their new home, and asked if they might make a bid on it. The real estate agent was only too happy to comply, especially when they didn't dispute the price. She drew up a standard contract for them to sign, but Cam put her foot down, and insisted they let their brother see it before they put names on it. She said to fax it to his office, and Keith agreed, but he was not exactly attentive to Cam's instructions, so she told the agent to give them a few days before they submitted the bid.

"You really need to consult with Evan about this," Cam said as they left in the car.

"He'll like it, I know he will," Matt claimed. "Anyway, we're the ones who will be living there."

"He's the one paying for it," Cam reminded him.

Matt and Keith promised to call Evan that evening, but they didn't. The two couples went to dinner and a movie, didn't get back until late, and still talked into the wee hours in the hotel lobby. Sydney and Keith arranged to meet again the next day, Monday to go piano shopping. He said he needed one for his house, and they would purchase hers at the same time. Sydney of course conveniently forgot she was scheduled to work, so after Monday she would have plenty of time to compose. Matt and Kiri wanted to spend all day at the Anderson house, inviting her friends over but Kiri said it would have to be after Cam returned from work; she would not allow her to be home alone with him. They decided to hang at the mall while Keith and Sydney shopped, even though they really didn't want to be with them. At about two in the morning, three hours after Kiri's curfew, they said goodnight to the men and returned home, woke Cam and spent the next few hours telling her all about their night. Cam was due to wake up at five a.m., so what were a few hours either way? Nevertheless, she wasn't too tired to worry about her sisters' fast growing relationships with the men. As alarmed as Cam was, how would Evan feel?

♥

CHAPTER 13

Matt finally called Evan Monday night after spending most of the day with Kiri. He and Keith returned to the hotel, not as late this time, they were all tired and had plans to meet the next day anyway. Evan was incensed that they had waited so long to call, and when Matt told him they put a bid on the house Evan said he was flying to town the very next day, and to make sure the real estate agent was ready to meet him. Matt told Keith that Evan was freaking, and managed to get off the phone before he started yelling. Keith laughed and said he hated it when Evan shouted, but they didn't have to worry about it until tomorrow. Matt called Kiri to tell her goodnight; she answered on the first ring and they talked another hour until Cam's voice was heard in the background threatening Kiri if she didn't hang up the phone. Matt did say good-bye but his feet were barely touching the floor as he made his way to the shower. In a couple of days, he would be in a real school with his girlfriend, going steady if she agreed. Although he needed to return to Nashville to pack his things, he wished there were some way he could have Evan ship everything to him; he didn't want to leave Kiri for even a day. He was sure she felt the same.

As for Keith, he didn't know what day it was, and he didn't care, his only thoughts were for the beautiful woman who, amazingly, was as enraptured with him as he was with her. Never in his life had any woman shown him the attention, or affection Sydney was now, especially any as incredibly alluring as she was. It was the first time he had ever felt like a real man, despite his disability, and he never wanted this to end. Sydney made him feel vibrant, strong, masculine, and so thankful that he was alive. Finally, he dared hope that love might actually be within his grasp, he wouldn't have to live through his brother, and he could have a life of his own. This was without a doubt the best thing that had ever happened to him and he wanted to believe it would last forever. It wouldn't, however, when she met Evan. It would be all over, it always was, and he expected no different with Sydney though he prayed fervently against it. He had to prevent any meetings between the two of them, at least as long as possible so this wonderful dream could continue. All his life he dreamed of a love of his very own...and now it was happening. As much as he loved his brother, Keith could not allow him to meet Sydney and lose her to a more suitable, nearly perfect man. It would kill Keith, he was sure.

♥

Matt had his own reasons for keeping Evan away. He was in love. Love! Matt wanted to shout as he stood in the shower with water pouring over him. But Evan wouldn't approve; he would say that Matt was too young, and for sure Evan would freak and say Matt was only moving to Indiana to be with Kiri, not for his education. He would stop the purchase of the house and force Matt to stay with him and he couldn't let that happen! Not now, when everything was so perfect, when his life was about to be everything he ever dreamed of, except he had not kissed Kiri yet, and that would be the best thing that had ever happened to him so far. Matt was confident that tomorrow would be the day, since he and Kiri knew each other so well. All he had to do was get her alone, anywhere, which so far he had been unable to manage. Keith and Sydney were planning to go to dinner, and Cam had a meeting at the church. Matt was savvy enough to realize what was happening between Keith and his girlfriend and that they would not want Matt and Kiri tagging along, therefore he would offer to get lost for a while so Keith could be alone with Sydney, and that would be his chance. He wouldn't blow it; he had to kiss her soon. Before Evan found out and ruined everything.

♥

CHAPTER 14

Evan didn't hear from his brothers until Monday night, and when he did, it was Matt, telling him they had found the perfect house and put a bid on it.

"Without me?" Evan sputtered. He was hurt and angered; Evan was paying for the house. How could they have made this decision without him?

"It's just what you wanted. Keith gave the list to Cam and she found something right away. You wouldn't believe how many houses we saw on Saturday, and then Cam nailed it with one house. She's great, Evan. You would really like her; she's just like you only a girl. She bosses me around like I was her own brother."

"While I'm glad to hear that, Matt how could you put a bid on the house without me? That's a binding contract! Didn't Cam warn you?"

"Um, I think..." Evan heard the rustling of papers as Matt searched for the bid. "Oh, here it is. I guess Keith didn't sign it after all. We just had her write it. Cam said you would want to see it first, but I forgot to fax it to you."

"Don't sign anything until I get there!" Evan exclaimed. "I need to see the house for myself, Matt for Pete's sake I'm paying for it! Did you even talk about the price?"

"Well, no, I figured it was worth the money."

"ARRRRGGGGHHHH!"

"You can afford it, Evan." Matt was bewildered at his brother's response.

"And how much land is there? What about the out buildings, gate, privacy?" Evan was frantically searching his day planner for tomorrow's itinerary.

"It has a couple lots, I mean acres, and a stable for horses," Matt said. "I promised Kiri we would get horses."

"Horses are a lot of work," Evan informed him, while reading his schedule.

"I can learn to take care of them. Someone just has to show me."

Evan listened distractedly. "That's in the future. If I like this house."

"It's as much our decision as yours," Matt protested.

"My point exactly," Evan said. "I'll be in Indiana tomorrow. Call the real estate agent and tell her I'm coming and I only have a few hours."

Matt's grumbling was audible.

"It's important to me, bro," Evan told him. "This house has to work for all of us."

"You'll never be here! What does it matter?"

Evan could strangle him. "I'll be there tomorrow by noon."

Matt hung up so quickly Evan wasn't able to ask him where they would meet. No matter, Evan would just go to the hotel. They had better be ready, Evan could only spare a few hours at the most, and then the three of them would return home to Nashville while the house owners pondered the bid. He was so very busy right now, this was most inconvenient, but Evan couldn't chance them getting the wrong house. I can't live just anywhere, he grumbled. He made a few more phone calls, securing a flight and a rental car to be ready for him at the airport when he arrived. Then he called his secretary, re-arranged his appointments, shuffling them into the next week. He tried to call Mitch but he answered neither his home nor cell phone, so Evan logged onto the computer to e-mail him. His first message online was from Cam, and he opened it immediately.

♥

Hi Evan. What wonderful brothers you have. This has been a most pleasant three days thanks to Matt and Keith who have literally shook up all of our lives (for the good). I don't know when I have laughed so much, and this is saying a lot, on the heels of my father's death. I know they are healing Kiri and Sydney's grieving hearts with their kind words, attention and silly sense of humor. If your brothers are the direct result of your influence in their lives, then I am going to let you adopt my sisters! You obviously have done a much better job raising your brothers than I did with my sisters. If you don't believe me just ask Kiri, she'll tell you all the ways I have failed.

Anyway...the reason I wrote was to tell you that the guys have found a house they love, and your brothers are concerned about approval. I saw your list and no offense my friend but you left no stone unturned...Whew. We found something that is very close and maybe even more than you asked, which I'm sure Matt has told you by now. The price is a bit steep, but the appliances stay, so do the window treatments, the furniture in the stable (it has a rec room) and the place is in good shape. I have a copy of the bid they want to submit...Evan, you need to read this. I can't tell you what to do, but the agent isn't being honest, she's thinking she has a sucker on her hands. I figure you haven't become a successful businessman by chance, (your brothers told us you had your own company in Nashville) so I know you will want to amend the bid.

Your brothers are so very proud of the way you supported them all these years since your parents died, and it sounds like you have quite a success story to tell, or at least a good testimony. My sisters and I were very heartened to hear that all of you are firm believers, just as you said (not serial killers). Anyway...I hope I helped some. I'm looking forward to having Matt and Keith around, and I'm very sure my sisters feel the same. You must be so proud of your brothers; they are fine men. If you're anything like them and single, I would think I died and went to heaven. Haha, Cam.

♥

Evan laughed as he read the last line and hit the reply button.

Cam, you don't know how much I appreciate your help with my brothers. It's so frustrating for me to be here in Nashville and have to lean on the kindness of strangers, but my work is very demanding. I'm heartened to learn Keith and Matt are behaving themselves, it's a nice change. (I'm kidding; I knew they would be good.) It's way too quiet in my house right now and I'm fighting despair. I really don't want them to leave but I can't make them stay either. One thing that helps is to know that your family has become friends with my brothers. Matt told me of your bossiness whoops I mean your kindness. Ha! He says you are a like me only a girl. If you knew me better you might wail in distress.... lol. Please, Cam if they become too demanding, or a bother, let me know and I will take care of it. You've found out by now that neither Keith nor Matt drives; this will change soon. Keith wants to find a job, but I'm concerned...you can see why. I know he is smart and capable, but I don't want anything to happen to him. And Matt...he thinks he's grown up but he's still very young. I will hire a housekeeper to keep them fed and clothed, but I can't hire anyone who cares as much as I do. That keeps me awake nights with worry. I can hear you now, give them into God's care and trust Him. Man I hate it when you're right. Thanks, Cam, for allowing perfect strangers into your life and looking out for my family when I can't. From a grateful missing brother. E.

♥

CHAPTER 15

Evan arrived in Indiana on a charter flight, a necessary luxury because of time constraints, picked up his rental car and found the hotel, no thanks to his brothers who weren't even there to meet him. He obtained the key to the room and sat in a chair waiting for them, growing more impatient and angry as the minutes passed, and was about to call the real estate person himself when they burst into the room laughing.

"Matt I can't believe you did that!" Keith exclaimed.

"I thought Kiri's sister would come after me with a gun," Matt laughed. "I couldn't help myself, she's so cute."

"You had better watch it, I have a feeling..." Keith noticed his older brother. "Oh, Evan, you made it."

Evan glared at the two. "I was on time. And I have a very heavy schedule."

"Relax, it'll only take a few minutes," Matt said. "The agent couldn't meet us earlier anyway."

"I have to be back in Nashville by five," Evan warned them, his arms crossed tightly.

Matt moved to the desk and found the bid. "All you have to do is sign these papers. "See? We took care of the rest."

Evan spread the papers in front of him and spent the next fifteen minutes reading. If there was anything Evan knew, it was contracts.

"The house has to be inspected," said Evan. "And what's this? You're signing away your rights to order repairs. You need a warranty. Oh, guys, this price stinks. You always offer a low bid."

"It seemed fair," Matt protested.

"Keith! You know better!" Evan slapped the papers on the bed. "What's gotten into you?"

"You mean WHO's gotten into him," Matt laughed. Keith threw his hands over Matt's mouth.

Evan frowned. "Something I should know?"

Keith whispered to Matt, "You tell him about Sydney and I'll tell him all about you and Kiri."

Matt held his hands up in surrender.

Evan looked at them sternly. "I'm not kidding, you two. This is serious!"

Neither of them volunteered any information.

"Do I have to call Cam?"

"No!" both Matt and Keith replied together.

"We're getting along with the Anderson sisters real well," Keith said. "They've been very nice to us." Matt covered his mouth as he laughed and hid his face.

"It looks like you mean more than nice," Evan muttered. "We're not getting this house so you can date women. Matt's here to get an education and you're here to watch over him."

Keith burst into laughter. "He's getting one, all right." Matt put Keith in a headlock and they wrestled to the ground.

"Now I'm really worried," Evan sighed. "Where's that real estate lady? We need to get moving." He looked around the room for something to do while they waited. "Here, guys get packed. We leave in an hour and a half."

"Today? Evan, you said yourself it takes time to buy a house." Matt's grin turned to a frown.

"Looking takes time. Paperwork can be done over the phone." Evan was confused. "Why aren't you ready to leave? You knew we had to go back to Nashville."

"We knew, but we expected to stay longer. How soon can we move in?" Keith asked, letting his brother loose and sitting on the bed.

"Not for at least a month," Evan said. "Unless the house is empty."

"It's not," replied Matt. "But we could stay in a hotel until it is. I have to register for school this week, and I start in eight days. I need to be here."

"Matt, we have to allow these people time to move their things," Evan reasoned.

Matt frowned. "They're selling their house. Don't they want to leave?"

Evan brushed his fingers through his hair in frustration. "It's not that simple. You can't just order these people out."

"Can't we give them some incentive?" Keith asked.

Throwing his hands up in surrender, Evan exclaimed, "Are you trying to drive me crazy? Because that's what you're doing."

"I'm pressed for time, Evan." Matt pleaded. "Please can I stay?"

"No decision till I see this house."

The phone rang, making both Keith and Matt dive for it. Matt won, of course. "Hello?" he said breathlessly. "Oh, hi, Mrs. Patrick. Yes, he's here. Okay. Meet you in the lobby." He turned to his brother. "She's here."

"Let's get this over with," Evan said, rising. He left with his brothers, wanting to walk much faster than Keith's legs would allow. It was hard for him to be patient today; he was under such pressure from his work in Nashville, his brothers were acting very odd, and losing them was a constant aching hurt.

Evan introduced himself to the agent, who wondrously, he thought with a chuckle, didn't recognize him. She was brisk, businesslike and a bit intimidating, like most of the people Evan dealt with in his work. He imagined that his brothers may have felt pressured by her, but Evan wasn't fooled in the least. He immediately began going over the bid, telling her what changes needed to be made, how he wanted it to read, and what price he was willing to offer, if he liked the place. Evan made it clear to the woman that the final decision was his alone.

She in turn, called her office on the cell phone and told her assistant to change the bid, and relayed Evan's wishes to her, repeating as he spoke of yet another condition.

At the house, Evan looked at every room, closet, cupboard, and even the windowsills. He inspected the outbuildings just as carefully, measuring, opening and closing doors, turning on faucets and all electric switches. He climbed up to the loft in the stable and walked the floor to test its sturdiness. Then he marched the entire length of the electric fence to look for flaws or breaks. Matt and Keith tired of following him after he kept them in the house so long, and escaped to the river, saying to call them when he was done.

"I appreciate your help, guys," Evan called after them. "Like you said, it's going to be the both of you living here." He made a snort of disgust and continued with his inspection.

The property seemed private enough, the fencing was adequate, and the driveway long and looped so the bus would be able to get in and out easily. He would have to make another large doorway in the outbuilding to accommodate the bus, and he needed to change a room in the house into an office, but other than that, the property was indeed everything he had asked for on his list. Except that it was in Indiana instead of Nashville and he would be separated from his brothers. The looks on their faces made it plain to Evan where they wanted to be. I'm going to regret this, Evan thought grimly, but told the agent to proceed with the bid, and offered the owners an extra five thousand dollars cash to vacate the premises in two weeks. Pending an inspection, which would happen in the next twenty-four hours, and the acceptance of Evan's bid, the Beers brothers would soon have a new home in Indiana. Evan called to Matt and Keith, telling them they were leaving. He was still a bit miffed and didn't let them know he signed the bid until the real estate agent mentioned it.

"We're in? All right!" Matt cried. "I have to call Kiri!"

"I'm calling Sydney first," Keith claimed. "I'm older."

"No way, this whole thing was my idea!" Matt appealed to Evan. "Tell him, Evan. I started all this."

Evan just gave him a dirty look.

"Why don't we just go over to the Andersons?" Matt said. "I want you to meet Cam, Evan. She's great."

Evan checked his watch. "I can't, guys. I have to get back to Nashville. And you need to be packed and ready to go as soon as we get back to the hotel."

"Evan, please, I have to stay!" Matt leaned over the seat. "I have to be here to start school."

"What about your stuff?"

"Send it with the moving van. All I need are clothes."

Evan shook his head. "No, come home at least for a few days and get packed. I'll get you back in time for school. I don't know how, but I'll think of something."

Keith had been thinking also. "Why not ask Cam if he can stay with them until I return with the moving vans?"

"She would let me," Matt said excitedly. "She loves me."

"Cam? Or Kiri?" asked Evan.

"Uh, well Kiri, but that's another story. Cam likes me a lot, Evan. She said so."

Evan sighed. "I hate to keep imposing on them. We hardly know these people."

"You don't, but Keith and I do," Matt said. The agent pulled into the real estate office, where they signed the amended bid and then she took them to the hotel. Both of the men made calls to the women, who were naturally disappointed; Kiri in tears, but Sydney said she understood.

"Please don't forget me," Sydney pleaded as they prepared to say goodbye. "I'll be waiting for you here. How long will it be again?"

"Hopefully, two weeks if they accept our bid and move immediately. I promise Sydney, I'll be back as soon as humanly possible. And then I'll be staying."

"That's so long," she sighed. "Call me lots?"

"Every day," he pledged. "Your piano should be delivered in a few days. Write me a song."

"I will," she promised. "And when you get back, I'll help you move into your home. Keith, I'll miss you..."

"Me too," he said with all the passion of a man leaving his true love.

Evan and Matt rolled their eyes and kept packing.

♥

"Moping isn't going to bring them back any faster," Cam said as she attempted to step over her sister, who was lying on the floor in front of the television holding a pillow.

"I can't believe he's gone." Kiri sniffed and put her face in the pillow. "Mryff I nvvr ssshujn?"

"I can't understand you," Cam said, pulling her sister's face clear of the cushion.

Kiri slapped at Cam. "I said what if I never see him again?"

"Then you'll tell the story of the tragic, doomed love that was lost when he had to go home and wait for the moving van."

"You're so funny, Cam. If you ever fell in love, you'd know." Kiri sighed, laying her head again. "It's terrible and wonderful. Too bad you're so particular."

"I am not particular. I just haven't had many offers," Cam said, immediately regretting her admission. Kiri lived to remind Cam she was a loser at love.

"You think Evan Worthy is going to swoop down and rescue you, but Cam, that doesn't happen in real life."

Cam turned to leave the room.

"I'm telling you for your own good," Kiri told her. "You're waiting for a man who doesn't really exist."

"That's so far from the truth I won't even comment." But she did anyway. "I love Evan Worthy's music. I think he's terribly handsome, and I would never in my wildest dreams imagine he would consider someone like me. Every woman fantasizes, Kiri, but that's as far as it goes. I have more important things..."

"Ugh, stop! You say this all the time!" Kiri jumped from the floor. "It's just an excuse."

'I don't want to talk about this anymore," Cam said, walking away.

"You never do," Kiri cried. "You always run. Cam, stop daydreaming about a man you can never have, and no real man can measure up to. Besides, from his music I can tell he's like Sydney, his head in the clouds all the time, an airhead. You don't want that."

"Kiri I am not waiting for Evan Worthy! I'm not even waiting for Joe Nobody. I'm not looking at all. Do you understand? My heart has all the grief it needs, caring for you."

Kiri just shook her head sadly. "You're going to grow old alone. Sydney and I won't always be around to comfort you."

Cam glared at her sister. "That, my dear Kiri will be fine with me." She went to her room and slammed the door. Kiri had the power to move her to tears, and she wiped at her eyes. How could her sister understand? She was so young, only cared about what affected her, had no responsibility, and thought she knew everything. Cam however, was never allowed to be the carefree teenager; she was mothering her sisters at sixteen, and not long after, caring for a desperately ill father while trying to support the family. Love? Cam wouldn't even consider a luxury she could not afford. Love was for the beautiful, the carefree, and the ones who lived a normal life. Not a rapidly aging woman with two dependent sisters, one who was too young to be on her own, and the other who couldn't hold a job. If love ever found her, it would have to overcome so many obstacles it wasn't worth hoping for. She was destined to watch and be happy for others. So what if she dreamed of a man like Evan Worthy—kind, sensitive, passionate, a man who knew the very heart of God? If she was going to dream of anyone, it would be someone just like him, but she knew that's as close as she would ever come to a relationship. Maybe someday when Kiri is older and Sydney...There will always be Sydney. Why even hope for more? Cam laid on her bed, though the supper dishes waited in the sink. Tonight I don't care. Let them rot. I'm tired, and not just sleepy tired, I'm emotionally tired. The whole world rests on my shoulders and I'm not strong enough. She closed her eyes, but sleep eluded her.

♥

CHAPTER 16

"Matt I'm not telling you again. I haven't heard!" Evan slapped his hand on the counter in the apartment kitchen for emphasis. "Give it more than twenty-four hours!"

"It's been three days," Matt complained. "I was supposed to register for school today. I start on Wednesday. Can we call the people?"

"They accepted the bid, but they just need to check on how soon they can move." Evan's voice softened. "You will return. I just don't know when, Matt."

His brother's eyes shone with unshed tears. "This is the most important thing that has ever happened to me. I'm afraid you'll take it away."

Evan put his arm around Matt. "I won't, I gave you my word. Things just don't happen as fast as we want them to sometimes."

Matt nodded but couldn't be consoled. He went to his room and closed the door.

"I'm sorry, Keith. I know you want to go back also." Evan poured a cup of coffee. He had a long night ahead of him, trying to write songs, but still he felt he had nothing to say.

"I'm okay. But I would feel better if I knew when we were going."

"You decide what to take in the moving truck. I want to buy furniture and I have to get things for my office."

Keith offered to shop for furniture with Sydney. It'll save us thousands on the moving anyway. All Matt and I need are the bedroom sets."

"I'll get a truck just as soon as I have a firm move in date. I can't believe you and Matt are having such fits! You were in Indiana three days!" Evan looked at Keith in wonder. "What in the world happened?"

Keith's grin spread across his face. "The best thing ever, Evan." He went to be with Matt, and Evan sat at his computer.

Matt and Keith were so excited about moving it made Evan sick; he was a bystander helpless to change the events unfolding before him. He knew it was love that was making his brothers act so unusual, and he knew they didn't want him to find out. What, am I some ogre that lives to keep them enslaved? I never said I didn't want them to have love and a life; I just wanted it to be here, not hundreds of miles away. Is that too much to ask? Apparently it is, because they're leaving.

Evan logged on to the computer, thinking he could use someone to talk with but chat rooms were useless. There were always two people in deep conversation, two or three weirdoes leaving filthy messages and others who just popped in and out. It was a waste of time for him, and then he was inundated with email from questionable sources. He hated that. So he read his mail, surfed the news pages, checked in on his web sites, (there were plenty, most hosted by fans), and then when he despaired of any human companionship at all that night, Cam signed on. Evan contacted her immediately.

Hey.

Hey yourself. Not working late tonight?

No, I'm home listening to Matt whine about being stuck in Nashville.

He wants to be here so badly. What's the hold-up?

Waiting for the owners to set move out date. Matt is supposed to start school on Wednesday so he's freaking.

Why not let him stay with me until the house is ready?

You would let him?

I love that kid. He's more than welcome here.

I would send him...Cam you're sure?

Sure as the stars, constant as the moon.

That's one of my best.

My favorite too.

That's what I meant. Tell me more about this Evan Worthy guy. I've been listening to his music lately.

Good! Now you know why I love him so much. He knows the heart of God, unlike me who has to learn everything second hand. Can you imagine how it must be to know E.W. personally? He's probably like Billy Graham, holy and spiritual.

He's probably just a man, like me.

Oh, no. Some are set apart by God.

Evan was humbled and ashamed. He could never live up to her expectations. Did all his fans feel like that? How could they? If they knew...

Still there?

Yes, Cam. Just thinking.

About what?

Measuring up to a person's expectations. We think we know someone when in truth we don't have a clue. You think E.W. is a perfect man, but we're all just people. We fail, we hurt, we do stupid things.

Oh, so now you're telling all my secrets.

Lol. Cam you are so refreshingly honest.

Not all, I told you I'm in charge of my sisters. That's untrue; I'm just the fall guy for them. Kiri told me tonight I'm going to grow old alone because I'm too choosy about men; that I dream of a man I can never have. She thinks I have a crush on E. Worthy because I play his music all the time. What she doesn't understand is that I can't have anyone, or even consider it while taking care of her, Sydney, this house, and until recently, my father.

This is scary, Cam. Matt and I argue about the same things. He thinks I am married to my job but it's not my work that keeps me from a normal life—it's my duty, my responsibility, my life, to take care of my brothers. That is what drives me, why I am so successful. That and God's hand upon my work. I have to do this, for them. They don't understand or appreciate it. I know exactly how you feel, Cam.

Ah, Evan! You and I are so like each other! God must have wanted us to cross paths to comfort both of us. Yes, I know how you feel too! And I feel for you, truly. As much as I deny myself things, I think you need to find a life that doesn't include your brothers. You need love and care too, Evan.

I can't. If I did, I would lose my membership with Martyrs Anonymous.

Lol. I'm a charter member myself. So tell me, what did you think of the house?

Perfect. Matt told me you chose it.

It was what you wanted, and it was for sale. Hand of God thing. Sorry you had to leave so soon, I would have loved to meet you.

Duty calls. I had to move heaven and earth to be there when I was.

Maybe after the guys are settled I'll make you and your brothers a home-cooked meal.

Do that and I'll marry you.

Ha ha, you're such a card. You're the Hallmark of men.

What a horrible metaphor. I ought to report you to the Metaphor authorities.

Ugh...you win.

Matt wants to call Kiri. I guess that means our visit is over.

That's okay I have dishes waiting in the sink.

When I come to visit I'll take you somewhere that they do dishes FOR you.

Cool, now I have a reason to live. Bye friend.

Bye martyr.

♥

He logged off, feeling much better than he had all night. She had been through so much in the last weeks and still she could laugh and comfort him. What an amazing woman, Evan thought. He could understand why his brothers were so enchanted by the Anderson sisters if they were anything like Cam. His brothers had an advantage over Evan, they had actually met her. He had seen Kiri's picture, and heard that Sydney was a stunning beauty, yet Cam described herself as having her father's looks. It didn't matter, he told himself. I like the inside of her and that's what counts. The outside is just a bonus. Besides, we are only friends and it won't go any further; both of us are too busy for that. He went to his room and played around with the guitar. Songs were present, just out of his reach. How would he break through this fog, find the words and music he so desperately sought? Think, Evan. Or feel. Seek God. He spent the rest of the night doing all three, but by morning, all he had to show for it was a raging headache.

♥

Sydney slipped into the kitchen as Cam was doing the dishes. "I thought you were going to sleep."

"I couldn't sleep, the dishes needed to be washed." Cam opened the cupboard and placed a dish inside. "You're not moping about Keith, are you?"

Sydney sighed. "He's everything I want in a man, the most exciting, complex person I have ever met. I could listen to him for hours."

"I noticed. Well, I'm glad you talk, unlike Kiri here, who keeps trying to sneak away, I suspect to kiss Matt."

Kiri objected. "We do talk, all the time! But we haven't kissed yet, since Cam keeps interrupting us."

"Just in time," Cam agreed. "You two are moving a little too fast. Three days together is not enough."

Kiri rolled her eyes. "We've known each other almost a year. It's not like we're strangers."

"You only just met him, Kiri. Show some restraint. What will he think of you?"

"That I'm irresistible," she laughed. "And a great kisser."

"Wrong answer." Cam pulled her sister's hair. "I'll be sticking to you like glue when he's around."

The phone rang and Kiri jumped to answer it. "Matt! I miss you so much! What? You are? When?"

Cam deduced that Evan had told Matt he could stay with her. She nodded to Kiri.

"Cam says it's okay! What about all your stuff? No, you won't need much. He said what? I swear between him and Cam we might as well be two-year-olds. They don't understand what it's like to be in love. Duh."

"I beg your pardon!" Cam took the phone. "Hello Matt. You're not bad mouthing your brother now, are you?"

"Hi, Cam, no we're just comparing the two of you. Evan said I could stay with you until the house is ready."

"Yes, we would love that. But I'm warning you, no messing around with Kiri, understand? You'll obey me."

"Oh, sure!" Matt said excitedly. "And I'll get my license right away, and a job. I won't be a bother."

"You have to take driver's education first," laughed Cam. "For now you can ride the bus with Kiri."

"I will, Cam." Matt sounded like he was ready to run out the door. "I'll be the best house guest."

"I'm sure you will. What about Keith?"

Matt put his hand over the phone and Cam heard muffled sounds.

"He says he'll be back with the moving truck. Hold on." More muffled sounds. "I'm not saying that."

Cam was laughing. "Say what?"

Matt made a noise. "He wants me to give to Sydney a message. He says hello."

"Hello? That's all?" Cam asked.

"No but that's all I'm gonna say."

Cam relayed the message to Sydney who gave a long message of love and support to her man so far away. Cam laughed and asked Matt, "Got all that?"

He only snorted.

"When will you be back, Matt? Oh and I want you to bring all your records."

"I'm leaving tomorrow if I can. But I don't have any records, only CD's."

"No, silly," chuckled Cam. "Your birth certificate and immunizations."

"Oh. I guess Evan would know about all that. He's in his room."

"Who's playing the guitar?" Cam asked. She could hear music through the phone, sounds of plucking but no real tune.

"That's Evan."

"Tell him to take lessons, it'll help."

Matt laughed a lot harder than Cam thought necessary. "Cam, you are too funny! Evan will freak. I'll see you soon."

Cam gave the phone to Kiri, who was hovering over her sister during the entire conversation.

"Matt? She's a pain, isn't she? Well, yeah, but I still think she's too bossy. Really? They'd get along well, so long as they had us to push around. So when will you be here?"

The conversation continued, but Cam went to her room. It was getting late, and unlike her sisters, she had a job to attend in the morning. Like it or not, she was still the sole support of this family. She undressed and lay on her bed for a while thinking of what she would do while Matt stayed with them. He could have this, her father's old room. Cam would put a lock on the door...from the outside. Kiri's too. Life was about to get very interesting.

♥

CHAPTER 17

Monday Matt returned. He registered at school the same day, and was pleased to find himself in two of Kiri's classes, and the same lunch, sparing him the prospect of eating alone. Kiri and he walked the halls of the school, with Kiri showing him each of his classrooms, their shared locker, the gym, and anywhere he needed to be during the day. Matt felt as if he was dreaming! He was in a real school, with teachers and classmates, desks and books. The weekdays would be spent waking early, going from class to class, and in the evening, studying with Kiri. The weekends would be for football games, hanging with the youth, and going to church. Things couldn't be more perfect.

♥

Matt was the perfect guest. Cam soon found that the lock she put on his bedroom door was unnecessary; Matt was eager to please, helpful, obedient, and cheerful. He did dishes, kept his room clean, and took out the garbage, even helped cook meals.

"Tell your brother I'll trade Kiri for you," Cam teased.

"I'd be glad," Matt replied. "This is cool, your own house to come home to every day, real, home cooked meals, and being part of a family."

"I never thought of it like that," admitted Cam. "To me it's just another day, the same old thing. I would like to do what you did, travel, and see the world."

"It's not that big of a deal," Matt said, wiping a plate with the dishcloth. "We never really saw much, just the back entrances of concert halls. They all look the same after a while."

"But your home is Nashville," Cam said, taking the dry dish and placing it in the cupboard.

"Yes, but we're hardly ever there. Evan keeps an office in Nashville, but he's only home when he has to be."

"And that's why he's home now?"

Matt made a face. "Yes and no. He'll go into the office but he's really working with some musicians on another project. He's going to be traveling again soon. But this time I don't have to tag along!"

Kiri entered the kitchen smelling fresh, her clothes changed from what she wore to show him the school. "Are you ready, Matt?"

He kept working on the dishes. "Almost. What are we going to do?"

She smiled and opened the closet door. Bringing out a pair of inline skates, she held them for him to see. "Roller skating with the youth."

"Wow!" He put the towel on the counter and went to Kiri. "I hardly ever skate! I have my own, but they're on the bus. I'm not real good at it, will you teach me?"

"Sure," Kiri said. "But you have to promise to save all the couple skates for me."

"You're the only chick I want to skate with," he promised. "Are we all going out to eat afterward?"

Kiri shrugged. "If Cam doesn't mind. She's driving, but she has to be up for work early tomorrow."

"I don't mind," Cam said. "As long as it's not midnight when I bring you home."

Matt promised it wouldn't be, and promised once again to get his license. Cam ruffled his hair and found her car keys.

At the rink, Kiri and Matt jumped out of the car. Cam reminded Kiri not to be too late. Kiri told Matt to wait for her, and went back to the car, leaning in the window.

"We're not children, Cam. You're not my mother. Chill."

"I'm not trying to be one, Kiri. I'm just reminding you."

Kiri glared at her sister. "You know what you are? An old maid who doesn't have anything better to do than run my life. Stop!" She pushed away from the car and joined Matt without looking back.

Cam was stung, and bit her lip as she waited for Kiri and Matt to go inside the building. She felt tears well in her eyes, hindering her ability to drive. God, she prayed, what are my boundaries? When am I being too pushy? What is not enough? I'm not qualified for this job you have given me. I'm going to push her away and make a mess of everything. She pulled away slowly, driving like the old maid that she was. Kiri's right. I have no one, I'll never have anyone, and I'm not happy with my life right now. I hate my job, I hate taking care of my ungrateful sisters, and I hate that they are so happy and I'm not! It's not fair. For two cents, I'd walk away from all this...Cam shook her head. No, she wouldn't. She had never shirked her responsibility and she would not do it now. If nothing else, Cam was faithful. Her family needed her, and there was no one else to take care of them but her. Someday it would be Cam's turn for happiness, but it wasn't now, and she had too many other things to worry about. She had a rebellious teenager and a young houseguest. That alone would keep her busy.

♥

Matt was so excited about starting school he couldn't sleep the night before. While Kiri retired around nine-thirty, Matt stayed in the kitchen talking so fast Cam could barely keep up with his rapid-fire conversation.

"I have everything I need, right, Cam? Do I need a lunch box? What about more notebooks? Do you like my backpack? It has wheels, Cam, did you see it?"

Cam listened patiently, feeding him pie alamode, looking with him at his supplies for the third time. He was so adorable, and almost childlike in his excitement, wanting her to share in it. They went to his room to select his clothes, set his supplies by the kitchen door, read his schedule again, lest he forget, and shared mugs of warm milk to help him calm enough to sleep.

"If you don't sleep tonight, you'll be too tired to enjoy tomorrow," Cam said to Matt. "Let me massage your shoulders and relax you."

"I can't help it, Cam." Matt allowed her to rub his shoulders and back. "This is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me. Do you think I'll find all my classes? What if I don't understand the lessons? What about the food in the cafeteria, is it as bad as they say on television? Will I get enough to eat?"

"You'll be just fine," she assured him. "Enjoy yourself. Everyone will help you find your classes, and you're a very smart guy. And if you don't get enough to eat, I'll always have something here at home for you."

He sighed. "I'm, you know...scared...too. This is the first thing I've ever done on my own, I mean without Evan or Keith. What if I make a mess of things?"

Cam hugged him. "Then you come home to me, and we'll work it out, okay?"

"Okay, Cam. I think I can sleep now. I'm just going to e-mail Evan and Keith first."

"Of course." She stretched. "I'm going to bed, but if you need me, just knock on my door."

He nodded and went online. Cam kissed his forehead and went to Sydney's room. She prayed for her young charge, that he would find his classes without trouble, that he would make friends, that he would not miss his brothers, and that she would be able to give him the love and guidance he needed.

There was a light knock on her door.

"Yes?" she called softly.

Matt poked his head in the door. "I just wanted to tell you thanks, Cam. I'll see you in the morning."

"You're welcome, Matt. Goodnight."

♥

Matt was floating on air the whole next week. He loved school, loved the routine, ate the food in the cafeteria without complaint, made new friends every day, and on Friday, went to his first high school football game. Kiri was expected to stay on the sidelines with the other cheerleaders, but this was not a problem for Matt, he was greatly in demand with his new classmates. While Kiri cheered for the team, Matt tried to memorize the names of his new friends, being careful to let Kiri know with a wave or nod that she was still the most important person to him. At halftime, she joined him by the concession stand, and he stood with his arm around her until she had to return to the field. And after the game, they went with the team, cheerleaders and classmates to a party at someone's house. Whose house, Matt had no idea, nor did he care, but he danced, sang, played cards, and refused alcohol. Best of all, the party was close enough for him and Kiri to walk home, so they were able to spend time alone while walking through the neighborhood. Matt held Kiri's hand, and stared at her; she was so lovely in her cheerleading outfit, and her hair, earlier tied back with a ribbon, now free of its band and blowing around her face. When they reached the park, they went to the swings for a few minutes. Matt pushed Kiri lightly while they discussed the evening, laughing as they recalled how new friends surrounded Matt as he struggled to memorize names. Kiri said she was watching him from the field and he looked bewildered, but his smile never faded. Matt claimed his face hurt from smiling so much. Kiri asked if she could kiss it and make it better...and Matt was only too happy to oblige. Their first kiss was in the cool of a late August evening under the soft light of the moon and stars, a million of them. Matt would remember it forever; he was sure, the happiest moment of the happiest week of his life. Nothing else would ever be this good. And he never wanted it to end.

♥

Cam paced in the house, watching the clock, wondering if she should look for Kiri and Matt. It was nearly midnight, and the game was long over. Even with time to eat, they should have been home by now. She didn't know if she was being over protective, but she promised Evan to take care of Matt; what if something happened to him? She looked out the front window at the street, and saw no sign of them. Maybe she was worrying for nothing; Kiri's curfew was midnight and she wouldn't be late. Would she? Cam took a breath and tried to remember that they were good kids, Christians. Matt was not going to do anything to jeopardize his welcome, she knew that. She worried anyway and kept her vigil until she heard the scraping of the kitchen door, the quiet chatter of her sister and Matt, then the rustle of bags as they found snacks. Cam walked into the kitchen yawning, and asked if they had a good time. Matt told her all about their evening—except the kiss, of course, and thanked her again for letting him stay. He and Kiri finished their snack, and went to the living room to watch television. Cam cleaned up after them, washing cups and plates, then went to bed, content that her charges were safe. Maybe tomorrow she would e-mail Evan and tell him what a wonderful guest Matt was, and how glad she was to have him with her. He certainly grew on her, this young man so in need of a mother's love. Cam knew Evan did the best he could for Matt, but nothing could replace the love and nurturing of a mother.

♥

CHAPTER 18

Saturday evening Evan was to tape an appearance on a Nashville talk show for the Believer's Network. He and Keith were driven to the studio in a limo provided by the television station, and invited to the "Blue Room", a waiting area offstage where guests relaxed before going on camera. Evan was as comfortable in front of a camera as he was onstage; he tried at all times to be himself, for better or worse. The only exception was his carefully choreographed concert and his planned speech. However, in any appearance at a church, studio or before an audience, he tried his best to be as real as possible, while being a role model, example, and ambassador, whatever name fit him as a believer. Tonight the show he was appearing on asked him to sing one of his songs and then take a seat next to the hostess Catherine Randolph, "Cat" to her friends and fans. Evan had never met her, nor had he seen her talk show, though it was quite popular with the network audience, and many performers sought to be a guest. Evan was at a disadvantage, not knowing this host or her interviewing technique. He planned to do as he always did with the radio stations, let her lead the conversation, but couldn't explain the check he felt in his spirit. He blamed it on nerves, though he was not apprehensive about this performance.

Keith and he sat in the blue room talking quietly with an author whom Evan had read repeatedly. Meeting the man who created some of the best novels ever written about spiritual warfare was a thrill, to say the least. Evan asked him when his next novel would be out, and the man assured him that it was at press even as they spoke. He promised to send Evan a copy. Evan in turn promised him a couple of his own CDs, saying it wasn't a fair trade for the author, but he was certainly glad to read the latest novel before the general public.

The show's producer asked Evan to follow her to the studio, and he did, waiting as he was announced. He took his place at the piano, and sang a song, the same one he and Cam had discussed online. As he sang, he thought how odd it was that he should think of her now, and he hoped she would catch this interview and hear him sing her favorite song. When he finished Evan smiled professionally into the camera and bowed, then while the audience applauded, moved to the set where he sat on a chair next to the hostess.

"I'm surprised you chose that song," Cat said to him as the applause died. "I mean, with this latest CD, which by the way, folks is probably one of my favorites."

"I was going to do a song from this CD, but I felt led to share this one," Evan explained. "I'm glad you like my last project. We worked long and hard on it and the tour."

"What is it that moves you to write—events in your life, feelings or emotions?" asked Cat, leaning close to him. Her perfume was strong, and it almost made Evan's eyes water. Without meaning to, he backed away a bit. For the slightest seconded, Evan thought he saw anger in her eyes, but brushed this notion away as he answered her question.

"Mostly, it's what I feel God is sharing with me, the message that He has, either for His people or those whom He is calling. And sometimes it's events in my life, but I'm afraid those are my most boring songs."

"Boring? With the glamorous life you lead?" chided Cat. "You're number one on the Contemporary charts. You've won Dove awards, a Grammy, and your concerts are sell-outs no matter how big the hall!"

"At one of our concerts this tour I saw an empty seat," he joked. "I sent my brother out to fill it so I could say the hall was full."

She smiled widely, but Evan realized her eyes didn't. A touch of apprehension passed through him.

"So what will your next CD be about?" Cat asked.

"Loneliness and isolation," laughed Evan, not showing his discomfort. What was it about her that made him want to forget the interview and run for his life? "My youngest brother is going away to school, and my other brother is going with him."

"So you'll be alone."

He nodded. "At least my food bill will go down."

She appeared to be remembering something. "You raised your youngest brother, didn't you?"

"My mom died when he was four, so essentially. But he's almost full grown now, and anxious to live."

She leaned forward and touched his arm as if in sympathy. Evan managed not to pull away.

"What will you do now that you're alone?"

He shrugged, smiling. "Same thing I'm doing now. Writing, performing, recording."

"No marriage plans?" The woman looked at him curiously.

"Who would have me?" he laughed, and pulled at his collar.

Cat waved her hand. "About half the female population of the United States, if what I hear from my staff is true. We wonder why such a man as you isn't...attached." The last word was meant to mock him, he was sure. Was she implying something? Or was she getting revenge for when her perfume made him flinch?

"So tell me," Cat drawled, seemingly thoughtful, "What kind of woman would you be looking for—if you were looking?"

Evan looked at her steadily, the meaning behind her words becoming clear to him. Why she thought he needed to prove his preference, Evan could not decipher, but he answered her honestly anyway.

"She would have to be willing to travel, spending more time alone than not. It's not an exciting life on a concert tour. There are only the few hours onstage; the rest is tedious for everyone, and I have commitments. That was one of my brother's chief complaints, boredom." He paused. "And I want someone who can't sing if their life depends on it."

"No competition?" Cat's eyes rose.

"Not really. I don't want my kids, if I have any, to be in the music business. It's my life, but I'd want something more stable for them."

"So you're looking for a woman who can't sing, doesn't want kids and prefers to be alone, following you around the world while you perform," Cat said, twisting his words.

He gave her a look to let her know he didn't approve, but continued. "And she has to be more beautiful on the inside than the outside."

"Add ugly to the list," Cat snapped, making the audience laugh. "Hear that ladies? There's hope for all you plain Janes out there." She smirked as she thanked Evan for being on her show.

"It's my pleasure," he answered politely, but his eyes told her the opposite. As soon as the camera light went off, he stood and walked away without speaking to her again. He strode to the blue room to retrieve his brother.

"Evan, I think you just made an enemy," Keith warned as he entered. "She gave you a look of pure contempt when you walked off the set. You fell for her trap; she was deliberately insulting you. What gives?"

"I don't know," Evan answered, thinking. "I flinched, Keith. Her perfume was overpowering—I didn't mean to insult her. It was like she turned on me after that."

The author shook his head and rose from his seat on a sofa. "She set you up, guy."

"But I don't even know her. Why would she target me?"

Keith shook his head in wonder. "I don't know, maybe you snubbed her somehow without knowing it. Could be anything, but I've been wandering around backstage, and found that her crew is one unhappy bunch. Apparently she presents herself as a Christian personality on television, but off camera, she's anything but."

"You're always the detective," teased Evan. "Now I know why I bring you along. I wish I knew this before I went on the show. She made me look like a fool out there."

"Someone needs to teach her some manners," agreed the author. "I'm ready to do battle, so pray for me when I'm onstage. She may have been just warming up with you!"

They laughed at his comment, but agreed to pray anyway. A guide brought the author from the room to the studio, and he managed to control the conversation, keeping his books as the subject, turning questions about his personal life back to the hostess. He plugged his book, and mentioned how thrilled he was to be backstage with someone he so admired, Evan Worthy.

"He's certainly to be commended for all his success at a relatively young age," commented Cat. "And still single, to the delight of women everywhere...a bachelor...I guess that's what they call men like him." She meant something completely different, letting her comment settle on the audience.

Keith slapped his hand to his eyes. "Oh, man, Evan. She could destroy your career with one rumor."

Evan swallowed and crossed his arms. "I'm not going to be drawn into a debate on my social life or lack of one. I've never addressed or apologized for it before and I'm not going to now."

"She's making it an issue. You're going to have to, Evan." Keith stood slowly and moved toward the door. "She's just opened a can of worms for you."

"I refuse to accept that," Evan replied, pacing in the room. "And even if it's true, who am I living to please anyway? People or God?"

"God knows your heart. People believe what they hear."

"I'm not worrying, Keith."

The show ended, and the author returned to the blue room to shake hands with Evan, saying how pleased he was to meet him, telling him to keep in touch. They traded e-mail addresses and the author left. Evan walked with Keith through the studio, but Cat stopped him when she caught his arm.

"I hope you don't mind me having a little fun with you today." She played with a button on his shirt, her perfume assaulting Evan's senses. "It was so funny, what you said about wanting an ugly, untalented girl."

Evan raised his eyebrows.

"So, all kidding aside, how about a date with a real woman?" Cat let her fingers wander over his shirt.

"Sure," replied Evan, stepping away. "Let me know when you find one." He pulled Keith with him.

"Bad move, Evan Worthy," she called after him. "I'm not one to cross if you value your career."

He stopped and turned to her. "I value my integrity much more than my so-called career. And if I have to walk away with something, that's what I prefer to take."

"By the time I'm through with you, that's all you'll have," she hissed.

"Yes, and you are such a lovely role model for Christian women," Evan replied. "It's so nice to see a woman of your visibility living by Biblical standards."

He strode away with Keith struggling to keep up to him.

"What are you going to do about her?" Keith asked, breathless from his exertion.

"Nothing," Evan snapped. "I'm not the least bit concerned. My public knows me."

"The public is very fickle, and hold their celebrities to unrealistic standards," Keith reminded him. "One rumor could floor you. It's happened before."

Evan noticed Keith was sweating, and realized he had pushed him too hard. "Hey!" He called to a page. "I need a wheelchair, now!"

"Yes, sir," the young man answered and ran to find one. He returned momentarily and helped Keith to sit. Evan thanked him and said they would leave it at the entrance by their limo, and then apologized to his brother for ignoring his needs. Keith was too out of breath to answer at the moment, sending Evan into a spasm of guilt.

"I'm sorry Keith. I should have paid better attention."

Keith waved him away.

Evan stood in front of the wheelchair. "Don't be stupid, Keith. Tell me if there's something wrong."

"Evan, you worry too much. I'm fine, just winded." He punched his brother in the arm. "Worry about yourself for a change."

"I've spent most of my life taking care of others; I don't know how to worry about myself." Evan wheeled his brother to the limo. "I'm going to be lost without you, Keith. I...I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Just live," said Keith as he moved from the chair into the vehicle. "You have your work and plenty to keep you busy, like this next CD."

Evan slid in and sat next to his brother. "I have nothing, Keith. Maybe one song and it's not good. I can't find anything inside me to write. I'm burned out, tapped out, dry. What am I going to do?"

Keith thought for a while before clearing his throat. "I have poems, Evan. They could be lyrics...I write all the time, I have for years. And I've met the most...captivating woman. She composes music, beautiful melodies; I've heard them. She can sing, but she won't. If...if she and I put some songs together, will you listen to them?"

Evan smiled. "Of course, Keith. I'm very interested."

"Sydney and I will work on them when I return to Indiana," Keith promised. "Give us a month and we'll have something for you."

"That would be awesome, as Matt would say," replied Evan. "I'll come to visit in October, and we'll try a few of them. And it'll give me an excuse to check on you guys, see how you're managing without me."

Keith grinned, thinking of Sydney. "The way things are going, I'll never notice you're missing."

Evan laughed. "Go get 'em, tiger."

♥

Later that evening, when Keith was asleep and Evan wished he were also, he decided to read e-mail before going to bed. He hoped for a message from Cam, but found only business-related missives. So he wrote to her.

Hey, Cam. How's my long lost brother? He wrote me a very lengthy letter about his life, school, friends, and how much he loves being in your household. Is it true he's washing dishes? I didn't even know he knew how to make soapy water, guess he's getting quite an education. He says you keep homemade desserts handy, your meals are legendary, and I'm wondering—what am I doing here? Ha, ha. Keith is most anxious to return, could it be that your sister has captured his heart? When he speaks of her, his eyes glaze over and he sighs. I'm getting real used to hearing him sigh, but I've never seen him like this before and don't quite know what to do with my love-struck brother! Keith's counting the days until he moves, and I believe he's packed and ready just in case, by some miracle the moving van shows early. The house will be ready in two weeks, later than we hoped, but heck; they saved me five thousand dollars. I'll use that to buy the first week's groceries for Matt.

So that leaves me to hire someone to cook and clean for my brothers, and I wonder if you could give me some advice or recommend someone. She wouldn't be a live-in servant, just someone to come in during the week. I need someone who can handle Matt and Keith and who will treat them like family. Any ideas?

Thanks, Cam. Seems I am leaning on you again. I owe you so much, and you can collect when I come to visit, hopefully in October. I'm taking you out for a night on the town...uh, that's if there is anything to do in your small city...you choose. Dinner, movie, whatever. The sky's the limit, and I mean it.

It's late and I have a have to be up early tomorrow. Sunday. I'm going to church, then it's back to my office. My employees are fond of their paychecks so I can't slack. I am my company's only product and if I don't produce, we all starve. See ya, E.

♥

CHAPTER 19

Keith planned to leave when the moving van did, and arranged for Sydney to fetch him at the South Bend airport. She didn't know how to get there, so she drafted Cam to drive. He was arriving on a morning flight, which meant Cam had to take time off work to retrieve him, and this did not make her factory supervisor happy.

"Cam, we've been real lenient with you, knowing about your father and his illness, and we're real sorry about his death, but company policy allows for only so much time off. You missed four days last month, three the month before and a whole week in June. We have a business to run here, and we can't do it without employees."

"I know, I'm real sorry. I can come in right after I get Keith, and work a double if that helps." Cam bit her lip and fidgeted on her chair.

"We don't let our employees make their own schedule," the supervisor said. He wrote on a piece of paper, a pink slip. Cam's eyes widened as she realized what it was.

"I'll find someone else to get Keith, Mr. Miller," she said hurriedly. "I'm not trying to make you to fire me."

"Unfortunately, we have to, Cam." He leaned forward, frowning, "When we let you have all those days off, we were granting special favors and it's caused other employees to protest, saying we must apply the same rules to everyone. I'm losing respect as a boss for letting you get away with so much. I like you, Cam, you're a good worker when you're here, but I'm in hot water with the rest of them and this will make it right."

He held out the slip for her and she took it with shaky hands. What irony, she hated this job and wanted more than anything to quit, and now...she was leaving in disgrace. This was not what she intended, however she did see Mr. Miller's point of view, she had heard the grumbling of other employees in the break room.

What am I going to do? Cam asked herself as she walked from the supervisor's office and out the door to her car. I promised Sydney and Kiri we would save the insurance money for emergencies. I guess this is one, if we have to live off it until I find another job. If only Sydney could help out, or just keep a job. Tears built in her eyes as she sat in her car and she tried to blink them away. Now what?

♥

Kiri and Matt were surprised to see Cam at home when they returned from school. They were excited; driver's education classes had begun for both and they wanted Cam to take them to the Bureau of Motor Vehicles to apply for temporary permits.

"I can't sign for you, Matt, you have to have Keith or Evan," Cam said, truly sorry. "Keith will be here tomorrow."

"I guess I can wait," Matt sighed, his voice heavy with disappointment. "It's only a day or two more, right Kiri?"

Kiri agreed. "I'm not getting mine till Matt does. It's not fair." She squeezed Matt's hand and opened the refrigerator. "What's for dinner? Matt's starving, he skipped lunch."

Cam opened the oven and produced a casserole, then instructed Kiri to get the salad she had prepared from the fridge. "I made you pie, Matt. Cherry, your favorite."

"She loves you more than me," Kiri complained.

"He's a better house guest," Cam informed her sister. "He washes dishes and takes out the garbage. I'm willing to trade him for both you and Sydney."

"Yeah, well, I'm willing to trade you and Sydney for Matt too," Kiri teased. "But for an entirely different purpose."

"What?" asked Matt.

"Never mind," answered Cam, laughing.

"No, really I want to know."

Cam and Kiri both giggled. Matt waited, looking very innocent, but Cam was not fooled. She tweaked his nose and changed the subject.

"Why did you skip lunch today, Matt?"

He put his hands in his pockets. "My biology teacher, Mr. Yoder, needed help setting up our lab for next week. He's real cool, Cam. He says he had you all those years ago, and you were his best student, do you remember him?"

"Yes, he took a bunch of us to a science fair in Benton Harbor. I remember he took his wife too, for crowd control. She was nine months pregnant and we teased her about giving birth on the bus." Cam smiled as she recalled poor Mrs. Yoder trying to keep peace with a busload of shouting teens. "I think she locked herself in the bathroom of the exhibition until it was time to leave."

Matt laughed. "Mr. Yoder said his daughter is eleven now, and hates science. He thinks she was traumatized in her mom's stomach."

"Probably." Cam dished food for the teenagers, and then slipped out of the kitchen with the newspaper. She settled on the living room sofa, turning on music while she searched the employment ads.

"Lord," she prayed quietly, "I know you want the best for us, and that we are in your care no matter what our circumstances. But I need a job, soon, and honest Lord, I don't want to go back to a factory. I could wait tables, but I can't count on making all I need. Retail doesn't pay enough. And I have to be here in the evening to watch over Kiri and Matt. Well, Matt will be living with Keith soon. I'll miss having him around every day. I'll worry about him, but that's my nature. So help, Lord, and thank you, because your Word says you answer before I even ask."

Matt wandered into the living room, chewing his food. "Oh, I thought I heard you talking."

"I was praying," Cam said. "I like to do it out loud sometimes. When I pray in my head, I get distracted by thoughts."

"What were you praying about?" He sat next to her on the couch.

"I lost my job today." Cam set the newspaper on the end table. "And I need to find something right away, but I don't want to work in a factory again."

"You should be a cook," Matt suggested. "You're the best."

"I love to cook for you because you appreciate it," smiled Cam. "My sisters take it for granted that there will be food on the table, but it doesn't appear on its own."

"You could cook for me and Keith," Matt suggested. "Neither of us drives yet, or cooks so we might starve since we can't go out to eat unless we walk."

Cam laughed. Matt was right. What were they going to do? This is something she hadn't considered. They needed someone just to take them to the store, and even if they had the food, neither of them knew how to cook. Maybe Cam had better make a few meals to get them started, at least until they hire help. She could grocery shop for them; she had nothing but time on her hands right now. They would need someone to clean and keep order until they found a housekeeper, and it would be a few months until Matt or Keith had a driver's license. Too bad Cam needed to work. She could help them until they were a bit more self-sufficient.

Matt went to the kitchen for a second helping. Cam was already thinking what to serve for tomorrow's meal, maybe spaghetti with garlic bread. Matt liked that, and she had a recipe for sauce that she found on the Internet. Cam decided to print it, and went to the kitchen and logged on. She opened her mail screen to read the letter from Evan, smiling when she read about Keith. Sydney's eyes are always glazed over, but not because she's so in love, thought Cam. As she read about his need for a housekeeper, an idea formed in her head, but she kept it to herself for now. There was someone who was capable of running a household, Cam had done it for years, and she was quite fond of Matt. Should she say something to Evan, tell him she was willing to fill the position? She certainly was qualified, Cam mused. And it would be so perfect, with the day hours, feeding Matt and Keith, and probably her sisters at the same time. Matt would be driving soon, but for now Cam would probably drive him where he needed to be anyway, why not be paid for it? Lord, she prayed. I know I would want this. I give it to you, and if it's for me, I pray the others will agree without me mentioning it.

Evan, how are you? This must be a hard day for you, with Keith leaving tomorrow. You must feel abandoned and alone, but as you told me, you're not. Rest assured your brothers will be safe, and in the women's arms if Sydney has her way. They certainly have taken to one another, and so have Matt and Kiri, but don't worry, I watch them like a hawk. If you don't believe me, ask Matt. And I will be home now when they leave school so they have no time alone in the afternoon. Not that I don't trust them...but you know, the ounce of prevention thing. So the moving van will be here on Thursday morning? I'll go to the house with Keith and help him get settled. Sydney is marvelously creative so she's going to be in charge of decorating. She favors light breezy fabrics so plan on your house looking "fluffy", not stuffy lol. She said Keith wants the furniture to be comfortable, more than functional, whatever that means. They plan to shop together on Friday and it will be interesting to see what they choose...I mean what he lets her choose.

I will help Keith and Matt find a suitable housekeeper; I think I understand what you need. I promise your boys won't starve; they will eat with us as long as needed. And I will feed you too, when you visit in October, it's what I do best, according to Matt. I thought he loved me for my mind.

Write or call me if you feel too lonely. I'm available day and night, literally. Cam.

♥

They met Keith at the airport, and after stopping at the Anderson house for a hearty lunch, Cam bullied him and Sydney into going to the new house to clean. Sydney wanted to spend the day getting to know Keith again, playing her new piano with him, and enjoying his company, but Cam set her straight on the next few days.

"We have to clean the house, and it's easier empty. Go change your clothes, Sydney. Put on something old. And no pouting, you're going and that's all there is to it." Cam gathered cleaning tools, soaps sprays and whatever she could from the closet, and loaded it into the car. They cleaned...rather Cam cleaned while Sydney and Keith held cloths and talked until it was time for Matt and Kiri to come home from school. Cam once again bullied them into helping, though Matt was willing and eager. Kiri balked and pouted but Cam showed her no mercy, gave her cleaning rags, and sent her to the bathrooms. Later Cam re-cleaned them properly. They finished for the night at seven and went out for pizza before retiring to the Anderson's house. Sydney and Keith stayed up later than the rest, playing the piano until Cam begged for mercy so she could sleep.

"We've got a busy day tomorrow," she warned them. "I'm going to need your help with the movers. Please get some sleep. You have forever to be together."

Sydney just gave her a sympathetic look that made Cam want to scream. Not Sydney too! Cam hated the way her sisters felt sorry for her, assuming she would never know the joy of true love. My life is not over yet, she said silently. It hasn't begun yet either, but I can't even worry about my social life right now. I've lost my dad and my job, but things need to be done and it's up to me. She turned on her heels and marched into her room. Sorry for me? How dare they, I don't need love; I need help around the house! I need to know my sisters are able to care for themselves before I can even consider my own love life...she dropped onto her bed. And I'm so lonely I can't stand it. She sat up again and wandered to the computer. Cam logged on, hoping to find someone on line...someone who was lonely like her...someone who understood the necessary sacrifice of responsibility...someone like her friend Evan. But he wasn't online, and she logged off. Tonight she would have to find comfort in music. She found her Walkman, put her Evan Worthy disc in, and lay on her bed with her eyes closed, listening. For once, she allowed herself the pleasure of daydreaming that Evan Worthy was singing for her, with love in his eyes. She would stare back, a silly grin across her face because they had each other and nothing else in the world mattered. Cam laughed to herself. That was a dream all right. More impossible than Evan Worthy falling in love with her was to be free from responsibility. She shook off the dream and let the music soothe her to sleep.

♥

Evan returned Wednesday night after a long session in the studio to an empty, quiet apartment, as dark inside as he felt in his heart. I don't like this at all, he thought to himself. There is no life here without Keith and Matt. I miss Matt's chatter, Keith's quiet presence. I miss the television blaring, the sound of Matt's fingers tapping on the keyboard, and the bathroom light always left on. I'm no good alone, I don't like my own company, and I don't like not having anyone to talk to when I come home. This is not right...But it was his life now. Evan fixed himself a sandwich and went over contracts. His secretary had finalized plans for the Christmas concert series, and all he had to do was sign papers and start rehearsal. Tonight, however he found himself with nothing to do but stare at the wall and try to write a song. Not being able to think of anything was becoming routine for him. He read his Bible for a while and prayed before logging onto the computer. Cam had left a message for him, which he declined to answer right now. He was hoping to catch her online, but she wasn't, so he closed the screen and went to bed early.

♥

CHAPTER 20

Cam spent Thursday barking orders to the movers, making Keith and Matt's beds, setting up furniture and stocking the kitchen. Keith and Sydney went furniture shopping but only bought a piano, which made Cam scowl and send them out Friday to purchase items they actually needed. Sydney seemed to understand Keith's need for comfort, and chose a living room set with a reclining couch, a kitchen set with the chairs on wheels, a swing for the porch, and even furniture for the all-seasons room in the back of the house. She chose linens, towels, and rugs, but the last tenants already left drapes. The family room was filled with comfortable chairs and a sleeper couch, and a corner table was set up near the fireplace. They didn't purchase dining room furniture yet, and Evan would need to get a bedroom set of his own, but by Sunday the house was a home and the men could move in anytime. If Cam insisted, that was. They were both perfectly happy at the Anderson home, with Cam supplying meals, Sydney and Kiri supplying company. Cam spent more time at the new house than they did, cleaning and filling cupboards and drawers. She didn't mind, she loved this big, lovely home with its massive kitchen designed for family meals. Cam wanted to cook here so badly she planned next week's meals in this kitchen rather than her own. Never in her life had she seen such a large refrigerator or a stove with six burners, and the kitchen had an island with pans that hung from the ceiling. One of the kitchen windows was a green house, and Cam dreamed of the plants that she would like to see growing in the sunshine. In addition, at one end of the kitchen was a working fireplace. Winter here would be cozy and warm, heaven. She was immensely jealous of Matt and Keith, and wondered that they seemed to prefer her home to theirs. I could live here so easily Cam sighed, running her hand over the kitchen counter. She moved around, satisfied that the house was livable, and then went to the corner of the kitchen where Matt's computer sat on a desk. She logged on and started a letter to Evan when she heard a truck in the driveway and went to see who was there.

It was another furniture store, this time with Evan's bedroom set and office furniture. She had them set everything in place, and then went to a department store, buying linens and pillows for Evan's bed. She returned, made his bed, fluffed his pillows, and dusted the new furniture, and then finally she wrote to Evan and told him that his furniture arrived, and sent him a description of his comforter and sheets. When she finished, she turned on the television to make sure the cable was working and caught a teaser that Evan Worthy would be on the Cat Randolph Show. Cam didn't usually watch, she wasn't a fan of Cat's and thought the show hostess too phony for her taste, but of course, since Evan Worthy was going to be a guest, she wouldn't miss it for the world. Tonight she would be alone, Kiri and Matt would be at the game, Keith and Sydney would be out somewhere, and she could watch it by herself without anyone to bother her. What a treat! She decided to watch here, on the wide screen television; Keith wouldn't mind. Cam hurried back to the kitchen and e-mailed Evan again, telling him who would be on television that night if he wanted to catch the show. Then she went to the store and bought a tape for the VCR to record Evan Worthy. It would be more than thrilling to have a video of him.

♥

Later that evening, Cam settled on the big sleeper couch in the family room of the Beers' home with a cup of hot chocolate in her hands and a blanket over her legs. It wasn't a cold night; she just wanted to enjoy the show to the fullest. When Evan Worthy was announced, she uttered a squeal of delight, and clapped her hands. He sang her absolute favorite song and she held her breath, drinking in the sight of him with his now short hair. I am such a sucker, she laughed to herself. Kiri's right, I do have a crush on him. Oh, well for tonight I'm going to enjoy myself. It's back to normal tomorrow, but now, ooh.... The song ended and Evan took his seat next to the show's host. Was it Cam's imagination or did he back away when the woman leaned over the desk, her cleavage showing in a most inappropriate manner for the host of a Christian show? Were the standards different for Christian entertainers, Cam wondered? She didn't think showing so much skin glorified the Lord, but Cam reminded herself she was not familiar with the entertainment world.

As the woman questioned Evan, Cam was increasingly distraught that Miss Randolph was mocking her favorite singer, and she could tell that though he tried to hide his discomfort, he was not happy with her either. How dare that woman! Cam knew what the woman was implying, especially when she was talking with Frank Peters the author, calling Evan a bachelor. Cam's heart hurt for her hero, he had been made a fool of on national television, the man who knew God's heart. Oh, Evan, I'm so sorry for you, Cam thought. I wish I could tell you how much I hurt also, and how wrong that woman is, no matter what her intentions. It's not fair, Cam figured he was too much of a gentleman to fight back onscreen. What reason did this woman have to insult him that way? And what was a woman like her doing on Christian television anyway?

Cam's eyes narrowed. She might not be able to tell Evan Worthy how she felt, but she certainly could call the network and tell them how disgusted and angry she was at the way Cat treated such a respected man. She would call for her resignation. Cam jumped up from the couch and logged onto the Believer's Network web site. She wrote a scathing letter to the producer of the Cat Randolph show, and copied it to every important person in the BN Company. Then she sent the letter to all her online friends, urging them to boycott the show. This done she sat back to let her aching fingers rest, when Evan Beers sent her an instant message.

Hey Cam.

Evan! I'm so mad I could spit, but I won't do it on Matt's keyboard.

I gathered that. I just read the letter you sent. I hope Cat Randolph is shaking in her leopard print high heels.

Can you believe the nerve of that woman? Ooh, I want to rip her fake eyelashes right off her face!

An eyelash for an eyelash?

Lol. Except mine are real and I need them. She was horrible to him and if I was E.W. I would have put her in her place...but that's not the way he is. My heart is aching for him tonight. No one deserves to be treated like that.

As David said, maybe it God meant it to humble him.

We can be humbled in private, not in front of a million people. Did you see the show?

Yes.

He handled it so well, what a Godly man! I would have jumped over that desk....

Cam, you are too funny. I pity the poor man who tangles with you.

Serious, Evan. She had no right, and he was so undeserving of her ridicule. Did you hear him sing my favorite song?

Evan smiled, wishing he could tell her how much it pleased him that she noticed.

Yes. How do you like his haircut?

It's not as bad as I thought it would be...except I loved that longer style...oh, sorry. Here I am gushing about my favorite singer when I know you must be struggling to adjust to life without your brothers. How are you, really?

Right now? Feeling wonderful. I had a bad thing happen this week but a friend made me feel much better.

Losing your brothers was bad, but you will see them soon. They are settling in...well not really, they have yet to spend the night at their new house, ha ha. It's only been a couple days. I'm enjoying it, though. I have your room ready and the furniture Sydney chose is great. You will be so pleased. Today I went to the store and filled your refrigerator, and made dinner for all of us at my house, but I'm dying to use this kitchen. What paradise.

Why don't you live there and let the others stay at your house?

Okay!

Matt told me you lost your job.

Yes, that was a blow. I'm looking, but wanted to get your brothers settled first.

What kind of work do you want?

I don't know, honest. I'm not college educated, so I have no career. I don't want to go back to a factory. Or retail. I could wait tables or cook. I love to cook.

Matt lives for your meals. Keith said you ordered all the movers around.

Lol. Yep. That was fun. I love this house. So will you.

And you could be there more often, if you wish.

I don't want to impose. I'm just...living out a fantasy.

Cam, I have a proposition for you...don't feel pressured, think about it...would you consider the housekeeper position for my brothers? I pay very well. Your sisters could eat at my house every day. You can set your own hours, and I know you care for Matt. I don't know anyone I could trust the way I trust you.

Evan...oh...

Don't answer now; I know I'm putting you on the spot.

Would Matt and Keith agree?

I know Matt would.

I'm bossy, and get annoyed when I see messy rooms. They would have to see me every day.

And...that's a problem?

Well maybe for them. For me...I'd have to write up a contract with you, a job description, for your own protection and mine, we should have it all in writing.

Of course. I would be so pleased, Cam.

So would I, Evan. You don't know how much.

I think I might. So, deal?

Deal, Mr. Beers. Boss.

Employer? Not at all. I need you. The ball's in your court.

Oh, sports cliché. Nice.

Tell Matt I'm coming in October and bringing him a car.

He said to tell you that Ferraris look great in silver.

So do Fords. Tell him dream on.

Oh, not to change the subject, but you and Evan Worthy have something in common bedside your name.

What?

He raised his youngest brother too, just like you. And his brother is going away to school. What a strange coincidence.

Sure is. But I'm much better looking.

Hah! I guess that's where the coincidence ends. He's a man of God and you are full of yourself.

You are so right...but I have something that he doesn't...I have you, Cam. You might not love me as you do him, and he might never know you in person, but I do, and I think you're the greatest.

Cam blushed and wondered how to answer. Thanks, Evan. E.W. may know the heart of God, but you have the heart of God. And you know something? I think you, Mr. Beers, are the better man.

If I were there right now, I'd kiss you, Cam. Consider yourself cyber-kissed.

I don't generally kiss men I've never met...but I'll make an exception for you.

Lol. I should go...that's what they say after people kiss, right?

Um, I don't know...I'm not real experienced in that area...

Even better. See ya, Cam. I promise to break away as soon as I can and take you to dinner. I'm hoping I can do it in October, but I don't know how I'm going to hold out till then. I miss Matt and Keith so much it makes me sick.

Don't worry Evan, they are fine. You work, do what you have to until October. We will make your visit special. Hang on, and write me. The time will pass quickly, I promise. Your brothers won't forget you, so don't despair.

Thanks, Cam. I'll write you next week.

Promise?

Yes, Mom.

That's my boy. You're a good man, Mr. Beers.

♥

Cam logged off and shut the computer down, then gathered her things to go. It was getting late, and she wanted to be home when Kiri returned with Matt. Most likely, the men would stay one more night unless Sydney drove them to their new house. Cam liked having all of them; it made her less lonely for her father. It's been such a short time since his death, how can I feel so happy? Thank you, God, I know Dad's in your care. I miss him, but you are healing my heart with these new friends. Your timing is perfect, Lord, as always and I am so undeserving of your grace.

She fingered the videotape while driving home, vowing to watch only the musical part, and not the horrible interview. A thought struck her. She had been so mad about the way Cat treated Evan Worthy, Cam almost didn't hear the interview. Wasn't it odd that he had so much in common with Evan Beers, just as she told her friend online? Two brothers, one going to school, and he raised them. And he lives in Nashville. He's in the music industry too. If Cam didn't know better she'd think they were the same person. Cam laughed. Oh, sure. Now she was crossing the line between daydreaming and insanity; imagine her talking to Evan Worthy all this time and not knowing it. Things like that didn't happen in real life. Cam chuckled all the way home.

♥

Keith was sure he was living in the best days of his life. From the moment he stepped off the plane and into Sydney's arms, he was certain he would never be any happier than he was right now. Thinking of his flight, when he saw her waiting for him with a welcoming smile, to feel the brush of her lips on his cheek as she kissed him hello, and to have her hold tight to his arm as they walked through the airport, was truly his finest moment. At least so far. Keith anticipated many more, if things went as he dearly hoped they would.

"How was your flight?" Sydney asked in her soft, silky voice. Keith breathed in her cologne and allowed himself to stare into her eyes, drinking in her beauty.

"Long," he answered, thinking how much he wanted to be in Indiana from the moment he stepped on the plane and all through the flight. "I couldn't wait to be here with you."

"I'm so glad you are," she said, allowing him to lean on her as they walked to the baggage claim. "I felt lost without you."

He smiled so hard his face hurt. "Did you work on that song we discussed while I was here?"

"Some," she answered, stopping when he seemed to be winded. She played with the collar of his shirt and let her eyes wander. "I have an idea where I want to go, but if I had words I would know how to do it."

Keith wanted to kiss her and looked around for a private spot. But there was none, and Cam was walking toward them. Feeling slightly disappointed that Sydney was not alone, but also knowing she wouldn't have found the airport on her own, Keith shifted his flight bag and smiled at Cam.

"I only have one suitcase. Evan said to tell you hello."

"They haven't announced the baggage claim yet," Cam said. "Do you want to wait here and send Sydney and me to get it?"

He shook his head. "I'll go. If you want, you can bring the car around to the door."

Cam nodded and left the terminal. Sydney moved Keith to a chair, but just as he sat the baggage claim bell rang. He stood up again and went to find his luggage. Sydney insisted on wheeling it for him and they met Cam outside. She drove them to her house and fed them, then ordered Keith and Sydney to the new house to clean.

As she left the room to gather supplies, Keith leaned close to Sydney and whispered, "I guess she has our whole day planned."

Sydney laughed shortly. "She's got our whole lives planned. We'll slip away sometime tonight."

It didn't happen; by nightfall, they were all exhausted, the house was still not as ready as Cam wanted, and she would not go to bed so Sydney and Keith could be alone, no matter what hints Sydney dropped to her sister. As soon as she did go to her room they began to relax, but the next thing they knew Cam was up again and on the computer in the kitchen. Keith sighed in frustration and said to Sydney, "Now I know how Matt and Kiri must feel."

Sydney touched his chin with longing in her eyes. "Tomorrow, Keith. We'll go furniture shopping alone. And maybe we can go somewhere, even to the river and be together."

He had to take a calming breath. The thought of being alone with her and the possibilities made him dizzy. She said she was tired and going to bed, so he did the same, knowing the sooner he fell asleep, the sooner he would have another day with her.

On Friday they did spend the day buying furniture. She chose everything, and he pretended that he approved, but in reality, it didn't matter what she bought. He was with her, and barely noticed anything else but her lovely green eyes, her soft skin, the way her lips invited him to kiss her. He was breathless, but not from walking; he was so undone from being close to her he could barely function. As they walked through the busy mall, with people all around, Sydney stopped and pulled Keith close, kissing him in full view of all the other shoppers. He was certain his legs would fail him, and he had to feel his chest to see if his heart was really beating. Surely, he had died and went to heaven! She continued with their shopping as if kissing him was a normal event, but Keith was floating the rest of the day.

Then that evening he and Sydney lingered at the new residence while the others returned to the Andersons'. Keith and Sydney toured the house, planning where to place the new furniture, knowing that Cam would probably move it all again no matter where it was. The piano would be delivered next week, so they couldn't work on the song, but Keith was not interested in it right now anyway. Sydney had brushed her silky soft hair and sprayed more cologne, then pulled Keith outside in the darkness to the long front porch. He leaned against the railing, Sydney leaned against him, and there he kissed her as he had been dreaming of for weeks, folding her in his arms, touching her neck, her hair, allowing her to tease him with whispered words of endearment. At that moment he would have given his very life to belong to her.

♥

CHAPTER 21

Evan was so frustrated he wanted to scream, but settled for kicking a couch pillow across the room. October had passed into November, all three of his attempts to visit his brothers had failed, and it looked like he wouldn't see them anytime soon. I can't wait until Thanksgiving; I've been apart from them way too long. Why does every little decision my company makes have to be okayed by me? Why didn't I delegate responsibility, let someone else make decisions, instead of keeping this tight control I demand over everything? I hire only the best, most competent people; why don't I let them do their job?

Evan knew the answer even as he asked himself the question. Because everything, the music, the concert, merchandise, promotion, everything he did for his living revolved around one thing: Evan Worthy. He was his own industry. And if he didn't offer a salable product, if he didn't do everything just right, it would all be over in a moment, and every person employed by him would go down with the company. That's why he couldn't trust decisions to anyone but himself—they all depended on him, no one else for their living. He was on top of his profession and he needed to stay there to support a host of people. When did he go from being a servant of God to being a servant to his employees? What about the message of God's love, forgiveness and the offer of redemption to a hurting, seeking world? Was that now his ticket to riches, simply the source of his income? Certainly, he had not meant to change from the wide-eyed young man with a guitar and a burning desire to share the love of Christ into a jaded one-man industry, but today that was how he felt. God, forgive me. You have given far and above all I need or desire, or even deserve. Sometimes Lord, I used you, though I knew it was wrong—it was so easy to lean on you, pull my success from your Word, and I didn't always do it with the right motive. I knew what would sell. Now, Lord, I took what you gave me for granted, and forgot how much I needed your daily fellowship and influence in my life. I feel lost, alone, empty. This tour I'm about to begin, the Christmas show is easy, a no-brainer so I could just breeze through it and then afterward try to catch up to you spiritually, but God, I miss you now. I feel like I've lost you along with my brothers. And I know you haven't moved, it's me but I need to find you again, to remember why I needed you in the first place. I need to be refreshed, renewed and sent back into the world ready to do what you told. What I need is time away, and I can't seem to do it now, though I've tried. I need to be with my family. Sometimes the pressure I live under takes my breath away, my next CD has to be better than the last, but the project just won't get off the ground. How can I make it fresh and inspiring when I can't find any time to seek you, God, let alone write?

Now he suffered the aching, gnawing loneliness, alone even when surrounded by a crowd. Evan missed his family desperately, more than he knew how to manage. Not seeing them was killing him and he had to get away before the tour started, even if just for a few hours. He looked at his calendar. A week and a half before the tour began. This weekend he was to appear on the Believer's Network to promote it. He picked up the phone, called his secretary and canceled, telling her to have Mitch ask one of the other performers in the Christmas tour to do it instead, and tell Mitch he trusted his choice. The secretary was hesitant, he had never canceled an appearance, but Evan assured her this was what he wanted.

"And get me a charter to Indiana to leave tomorrow afternoon or early evening. I'm going to see my brothers. Cancel everything else until Tuesday, and if that causes any problems have Mitch handle it."

"Yes sir," she answered, writing furiously. "I'll have your flight info in just a few minutes."

"And I'll need a rental car." He thanked her and went to his room to pack clothes, then turned off his phone so no one could call and change his mind.

♥

CHAPTER 22

It was Friday, almost time for Matt and Kiri to leave for the game. Cam was finishing the dinner dishes while listening to music; Kiri was dressed, ready to go, and arguing with Cam.

"I don't want you at the game, even if it is alumni night. You'll want to sit with my friends and Matt and embarrass me, I know you will."

"Thanks for making me feel so wanted," Cam muttered, attacking the pan with a scrubber. Matt and Kiri traded places; he stepped into the kitchen as she went to her room to check her hair.

"I heard you singing again," Matt commented, taking a towel and drying the cups. "Do you ever listen to anyone but Evan Worthy?"

"Not really," Cam answered, stopping for a moment. "Unless of course I'm listening to the radio."

"What do you like about him?" Matt asked.

"Plenty," Cam said thoughtfully. "He's really in touch with God, it shows in his songs. I love the way he sings, his voice, but then I guess any voice is better than my own. And he's sooo handsome. The babe thing, you know."

"Yeah, that's why Kiri's so nuts about me," laughed Matt.

Cam looked at him closely. "You look like Evan Worthy; did anyone ever tell you that? If I were ten years younger, I'd give Kiri a run for her money. And win."

"People tell me all the time how much I look like Evan," Matt said idly.

"Worthy or Beers?" Cam asked.

"Both," Matt grinned. "Guess I should be singing for a living."

Cam straightened his collar. "Sure, but as far as I'm concerned, there's only one Evan Worthy. I love you, Matt, but Evan...he's the man."

Matt smiled slyly. "He's single, you know. Never married."

"That's because he never met me," Cam teased.

He looked at her fondly. "I think you would be perfect for him."

Cam laughed and returned to the dishes. "Yes, and I'm every man's dream. I look like my father without the mustache, I sing like someone is stabbing me, and at this moment in time I have dishpan hands."

"You're the best cook in the world, you make me laugh all the time, and you're really bossy."

She looked at Matt doubtfully. "Bossy is not what a man looks for in a woman."

He smiled. "Evan's like that, and he admires people who are also."

"I don't think your brother is bossy, Matt. He just has a lot of responsibility and takes it very seriously."

"That's what he says."

"He's a good role model for you and Keith."

Matt chuckled. "You better save your opinion for when you really meet him."

"I hope he's like you, Matt. You're quite a kid—oops I mean man."

He hugged her. "I like you an awful lot too, Cam. You're like a Mom to me and I don't mean that like you're old."

"Thanks, my friend. And if I ever meet Evan Worthy I'll tell him I know someone so cute and sweet, he best think twice about competition."

"He's not the jealous type. He doesn't get mad about anything unless someone messes with his family."

"You met him? I suppose you would, with your brother's business." Cam had turned back to the dishes so she missed the expression in Matt's eyes. He slipped, and if Evan ever knew, he would kill him.

"I read that he once fired an employee in a fit of temper and I was puzzled. That didn't seem like him at all."

"It's not," replied Matt, feeling the need to defend his brother more than the obligation to conceal his identity. "He fired the guy because he was complaining about Ke...one of his brothers like he wasn't working fast enough. No one messes with his family."

"I know the feeling, that's how I am about Sydney and Kiri, even with all the grief they cause me. My sisters are everything to me."

"And now, us, right, Cam?" Matt's big eyes looked at her hopefully.

She hugged him tightly and kissed his forehead. "Absolutely."

♥

After dropping Matt and Kiri at the game, Cam went to the Beers' to finish pies she promised for the church bake sale. It was so much easier to work in Matt and Keith's big kitchen than her small one with its lack of counter space. Keith and Sydney left soon after she arrived, saying they were going to a movie. They didn't offer to take her along, but Cam would have refused anyway. She didn't like being the odd person, especially with them; they were only aware of each other, leaving Cam feeling lonelier than if she had stayed home. Since Matt and Keith had settled into the house, and their lives, Cam felt more alone than ever, even with their company. She was very fond of both of them, and treasured her job, but the four of them were so happy together, so in love, and Cam felt left out. She had no one, missed her father dearly, and wondered if this was God's final plan for her life, a mother figure to these two households. It wasn't a bad life, but it wasn't complete, and she let herself wish for just a moment that the third Beers brother might feel the same about her as she felt for him. This was crazy; she only knew him from the computer and didn't even know what he looked like. How long had she worked for Matt and Keith, two months? And she had yet to see a picture of their brother, which she thought was odd. They had no photo albums, no family pictures on the wall. Surely they were all back in Nashville with Evan. Maybe he was just camera shy. Still, Cam thought she would at least find one while cleaning. Maybe the next time she talked to Evan online she would ask him about it.

Since she was alone in the house, and the pies were in the oven, Cam was free to turn her music up as loud as she wanted and she did, singing along as she cleaned the counters and put away supplies. She was so intent on her clean-up and the song she was murdering with her voice that she didn't hear the door open, nor see the person who stood in the doorway grinning, watching her with amusement.

The song ended, Cam sighed, closed the cupboard, turned, and nearly walked into a smiling Evan Worthy. She gasped and threw hands over her mouth.

"You must be Cam," he said, extending his palm.

"Say you didn't hear me sing!" she blurted, mortified that her hero, her idol had heard Cam butcher his song. She looked at his hand as if it was too holy to touch and backed away into a stool, which fell over onto the floor.

"Let me get that," Evan said, amusement showing in his eyes. He righted the stool and helped her sit on it. "So we finally meet face to face."

"Finally?" asked Cam, confused, her voice a squeak. She was sharing the same space as Evan Worthy! In her home, well Matt and Keith's. Cam's heart pounded so hard she could hear it. "How—how do you know the Beers?"

"I'm one of them. Evan." He started to shake her hand again, but she was unable to move. "Did I frighten you when I walked in? You look like a deer caught in car headlights."

Lovely. First he hears me sing and now I look like some kind of idiot. My idol, the man of my dreams, thought Cam miserably.

She answered, "Evan Beers is Matt and Keith's brother."

"I changed my name," Evan explained. "The Beers thing didn't go real well with my image as a Christian singer."

Cam slapped her forehead. I am such a dolt! Why didn't I figure this out for myself?

"That's why I chose Worthy and why my e-mail name is WITLE—worthy is the lamb, Christ and my name Evan," He explained.

"I wondered," Cam said weakly. She blinked again, wondering if her eyes were deceiving her. She looked away quickly, unable to meet his gaze.

"I smell something wonderful." Evan opened the oven door. "Oh, man, pie! Do we have any ice cream?"

Cam was so overwhelmed she couldn't speak. Evan Worthy was about to eat one of her pies—the bake sale pie! Cam almost stopped him but thought what, am I crazy? I'm going to tell Evan Worthy he can't have a piece of pie? I think not.

He opened the freezer door. "Yes! Vanilla bean ice cream. How did you know?"

"It...it's Matt's favorite." Oh no! Cam suddenly recalled the comment she made tonight to Matt, about Evan Worthy not being married because he hadn't met her...Matt knew all along...and never told her. He let her make all those stupid comments, listened to Cam sing off-key, watched her send messages on the computer, and all this time she didn't know Evan was his brother! She should have realized it, the resemblance, his job traveling and in the music industry; he lived in Nashville, had two brothers, one of whom was disabled. And Matt's comments about his brother being so successful that women threw themselves at him...It all fell into place. How could I be so stupid? All this time she had been caring for Evan Worthy's brothers, whom she loved like family. Cam had just today entertained hope that Evan Beers might feel something for her...that was certainly out of the question now. I'm going to kill Matt and Keith when I see them...Cam realized Evan was staring at her.

"I'll cut you a piece of pie." Cam looked for the oven mitts she had set on the counter only minutes earlier. Evan held them for her and she took them, fretful she might drop the pie in her nervousness.

"Where are the plates?" Evan asked as she cut into the pie. "Are you going to eat with me?"

And choke to death? Cam thought not.

Evan brought two plates anyway and waited while she placed pie on them. Then he scooped ice cream onto both and bit into his. "Ooh, hot."

Cam poured a cup of cold milk for him.

"This is excellent," Evan said, sighing. "Matt told me your pies were to die for. Where are my brothers?"

She put a hand to her beating heart, willing it to calm. "Matt and Kiri are at the football game, and Keith went out to a movie with Sydney." He was seeing Cam at her worst, after a day of housework, and her best wasn't much better. She brushed at her hair, which was clasped but escaping. He must think her a slob.

"My brothers are nuts about your sisters. Matt tells me all the time how happy he is and how you boss him around."

Cam blushed, wiping flour from her face. "Matt and Keith are like family to me, and as far as my sisters are concerned, well you'll see for yourself."

"I can't wait to meet them." Evan finished his first piece of pie and reached for another one. Cam had yet to bite into hers and the ice cream had completely melted from the heat. She stole one more look at him, nearly swooning when she caught him gazing at her with a grin.

"You haven't touched your pie."

Because I am paralyzed, Cam thought. I'm afraid that if I blink I'll wake up from this wonderful dream. He is so much more handsome in person. To think I almost ran his bus off the road and killed him in August...

"So when will Matt and Keith return?"

"Not for hours." If she wasn't about to faint before, she surely was now. Alone with Evan Worthy for hours...what was Cam going to do? He hadn't come this far to see her, but if she left, he would be alone until his brothers returned. She couldn't let that happen.

"Would you like to see your house?" she asked, finding the courage to speak. "It's wonderful, and you'll like what Sydney's done."

He smiled. "Yes, I've only been here once, to sign papers. I'd like to see what I bought."

Cam stood on shaky legs and took him on a tour of the house, beginning with the kitchen. She showed him the furniture Sydney bought, and waited while he tried it for himself. Then she took him to his office, Matt's bedroom upstairs, Keith's room, and finally his own bedroom.

"This is the comforter you bought?" Evan asked, running his hand over the cover.

"I—I hope you like it," she said timidly.

He sat on the bed and looked at her oddly. "You are Cam, right? The same girl who challenged me, comforted me and made me laugh online?"

"But you're not who I thought you were," she blurted. "I had no idea..."

He took her hand and bid her to sit next to him. "I'm the same person you've been talking to all along; you just had no idea that I was also the performer. And I loved to listen to you talk about my alter ego, so fiercely protective, trying to convince me he was the greatest singer in the history of Christian music."

"I feel like such a fool!" She made a face at him. "And I'm really mad at you, Evan Beers."

"That's more like the Cam I know." He smiled. "I'm really glad we have this time alone to get to know one another. And I'd hate to see what you'd do to my brothers if they were standing in front of you right now."

She smiled, her fear receding just a bit. "I'm going to kill both, or make them eat bread and water, whichever causes more distress."

"Good, it will serve them right."

"Them?" laughed Cam. "I'm willing to bet you swore your brothers to silence. They wouldn't dare defy you."

"Oh, you think?" Evan remarked. "I beat it into their heads for ten or more years so I'm glad to see they actually obeyed me. I worried more about Matt; he's like an open book. I was afraid he would slip."

Cam recalled a few of their conversations, and a few between her and Evan. "You slipped more than him. I should have figured it out."

"I'm glad you didn't," Evan said, smiling into her eyes. "The look on your face tonight was worth it."

Her heart began pounding again as she thought of him standing in the doorway listening to her sing. "You caught me at my worst. That's not fair."

"You looked lovely, with your hair falling out of your head-thing and flour on your face. I was very pleased."

She frowned and looked at him as if he were daft. "I could have died, especially when you heard me sing."

"Yeah, that was kind of...awful."

Cam slapped her forehead and fell back on the bed. "Kill me now."

Evan jumped up and pulled her with him. "Come on, I want to see the outside and barn. We're only half done."

Cam broke her hair clasp when she fell back, and now brown hair fell into her face. Evan laughed and brushed it back from her shoulder. "You should cut it all off, like me. I haven't had to brush it out of my eyes for months."

"Oh, yes that would improve my looks immensely. Then everyone would think I really was my father."

Evan looked at her fondly. "I don't know why you think you're so unattractive. I thought I was going to meet some Amazon woman who shaved her face but had a wonderful mind, and I found a very lovely lady with a beautiful smile, fabulous eyes and who smells like cinnamon."

"Being alone all those months has clouded your judgment." Cam led him outside and they walked to the outbuildings. First, they looked at the garage, which was perfect for his bus, and he remarked to Cam that for someone that had no idea what he wanted the garage for, she did an excellent job of choosing.

"I sure wondered," was all she could say.

♥

He followed her as they walked the property, stopping when they reached the river. Evan watched her as she pointed out one feature or another like a salesperson. She was nervous, probably scared of him, and her movements were quick, her breathing labored. Relax, he willed her. Tonight I want to be plain old Evan Beers, your Internet buddy, not Evan Worthy superstar. He thought of the Bible verse, "A prophet is not without honor, save in his own country, and in his own house." If she knew how little he thought of himself, how spiritually bankrupt he felt, she wouldn't be at such a loss around him. Maybe it would be the other way around, him tongue-tied in the company of such a beautiful woman. She wasn't a stunning beauty; she was pleasing to the eye more than anything else, a girl next door. It was her thoughts, her feelings, the woman on the inside that attracted Evan, and looks were just icing on the cake.

Evan studied the river, which was low, maybe only knee or waist deep. It was hard to tell in the darkness.

"Matt told me you went canoeing in September."

"It was fun. Matt made us all laugh when he tipped his canoe and dumped Kiri into the water."

"How did Keith manage?"

Cam smiled, remembering. "Sydney shored up the canoe so he could climb in. Paddling was no problem, Keith has such strong arms."

"He does, from years of practically walking with them." Evan moved closer to the riverbank. "What about flooding?"

"You see the river is very low. It doesn't get much higher, even in spring."

He looked at her. The moon shone enough for him to study her face in the darkness without her noticing. She pulled her hair and twisted it, as if that would make it stay in place, and Evan watched as the tresses uncurled and fell around her face and shoulders. Cam bent over and pulled a stray weed, tossing it into the river. Evan crossed his arms and stared as she absently brushed at her wind tossed hair and rubbed her arms nervously. She was intelligent, capable, and he could see why his brothers were so fond of this woman. Evan noticed how her eyes animated when she spoke of Matt or Keith. She had such natural warmth about her; it would be easy to love her the way his brothers did. Or, he thought with a catch in his breath, more.

♥

CHAPTER 23

Cam stole looks at Evan every time he looked away. He was so very handsome, but that wasn't his best feature. He had an easy charm about him, and she knew he was doing his best to put her at ease. She was sure he did it for all of the fans that crowded around him, excited but tongue-tied in front of their hero. Cam was certainly no different, and she was convinced he was humoring her the same way he would anyone else, but for Cam this was a private audience with her favorite singer, a thrill beyond measure. She wondered if this was indeed a dream and if the butterflies in her stomach were real or imagined. Would she wake, and all of this disappear? Evan looked at her, and she nearly hyperventilated. She was staring into the face of the man of her dreams—and he was smiling at her. Yet...he was just another person, full of fears and longings just like her; she knew from his writings that he often felt inadequate and unqualified, a failure at the things he worked so hard to master. He was wonderfully funny, compassionate, and a loyal friend. Cam could barely believe this man who stared out over water in the moonlight was both Evan Worthy the singer and her friend, Evan Beers. How could it be? He was not only Evan, Matt's brother; he was Evan, the Christian music superstar. She was lowly Cam Anderson, who played store-bought worship disks for music at church. She was not worthy, Cam thought, and laughed at her pun.

"What's so funny?" he asked, turning from the riverbank to the house.

She looked directly into his eyes and ginned mischievously. "You, my clever friend. I'm going to get you somehow, for giving me this heart attack tonight. Consider this fair warning."

"I'm counting on it," he answered. Evan took her hand and they walked to the house but stayed on the porch talking in the soft moonlight. The darkness made Cam more comfortable as it loaned her anonymity. They sat on the porch swing, moving idly, discussing their families.

"I wanted to visit sooner, but I am so pressed for time," Evan explained. "I finally called my secretary and ran before I changed my mind."

"What are you working on now?" asked Cam. "I bought a ticket to your Christmas concert in Detroit."

"You shouldn't have! I want you there as my guest," Evan said. "I'll send for all of you."

Cam was thrilled. "I would love that! I missed your concert in South Bend, and it about killed me. Then later I almost killed you..."

He looked at her curiously. "How did you do that?"

"I ran your bus off the road on the bypass." She winced.

He burst into laughter. "That was you? I heard about it. Matt and Keith were on, but I was at the radio station. They said some crazy woman cut them off and that she was sorry and cried."

"Me." Cam shrugged. "I was already crying, my dad...he was sick again, and I missed the exit. I felt so bad."

"No harm. I'm real sorry about your dad."

She touched his arm, and then drew back quickly. The thought of Cam's father caused tears to sting her eyes and she couldn't speak. Evan put his arm around her and squeezed her shoulder.

"It's okay, Cam. Time will heal you."

She nodded, wiping her cheek.

"You know Cam, that pie was awesome. What else do you have in the refrigerator?"

She smiled slightly and stood. This was safer ground. "Come inside and I'll find you something."

♥

Another hour later, a car pulled into the driveway, the lights shining briefly in the kitchen window. Evan jumped from the table and went out on the front porch.

"Hey! Keith!" Evan yelled in greeting.

Keith stood outside the car and waved but curiously, sent Sydney away before Evan made it to the driveway to meet his brother's girlfriend.

"Hey, bro," Evan said as he caught up to Keith. "Where's she going?"

"She had to leave," Keith said quickly. "How are you, Evan?"

"What kind of greeting is that for your favorite brother?" Evan grabbed Keith and hugged him tightly. "I missed you and Matt like crazy!"

Keith slapped Evan on the back. "I didn't expect you tonight."

"No kidding. I escaped, that's the only way I can describe it. I have to leave Monday morning early." He put his arm around his brother as they moved toward the house. "So that was Sydney. Getting serious?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess. I like her a lot." He was curiously hesitant.

"I can't wait to meet her." Evan helped him up the stairs.

Keith shrugged. "Maybe some other time. Did you see the house?"

Cam was waiting for them on the porch, arms crossed. Keith stopped in front of her and smiled apologetically. "I see you met our dark family secret."

Cam narrowed her eyes. "I'll get you for this."

Keith laughed and punched his brother. "You can see why we didn't want anyone to know he was related. We're real ashamed of him."

"Yes, I can understand." She joined the men in the kitchen while they talked, and then noticed it was time for the game to end. "Matt and Kiri usually go out with the team afterward, but I think he should come home and see you."

"No, he'll kill me for making him come home." Evan went to the piano and looked at notes that Keith and Sydney left. "What do you have so far?"

"Four songs. And they're good, Evan." His eyes grew animated as he told his brother of his and Sydney's efforts, late nights and long hours creating songs for Evan. "This one you're reading is complete."

"Can you call Sydney and have her play it for me?"

"No."

Cam watched Keith's odd expression. Why did he not want Sydney to meet Evan?

"Let me give it a try." Evan played a few notes, then the tune, followed by the tune with some chords. After he had played through three or four times, he played the complete song as written by Sydney. Then he played it one more time, adding the words. It was beautiful, touching, and Cam could hardly believe her sister had written it. Evan stopped playing and looked at his brother.

"You wrote this?"

Keith nodded uncertainly. "Sydney and I together. She wrote the music and I did the words."

Evan sat staring at the paper. He sighed and turned to Keith. "It's awesome, wonderful. I'm going to call my producer and tell him I've got our first song."

"Oh, Keith," Cam said, then fell silent as she worried about interrupting the creative process. She listened with her hand over her heart as they went through it once again, adding notes or words. Keith looked up for her approval, and she nodded but it was the last time the men noticed her. They began taking the song apart, note by note and she was forgotten in as they concentrated.

Looking at the clock, she saw it was about time for Matt and Kiri to return, and they were going to her house, so she slipped out the kitchen door unnoticed and went home.

Matt and Kiri returned soon after but only to tell her they were going out again.

"I don't think so," Cam answered in her sternest voice. "You, my friend are needed at home."

"Nothing's wrong with Keith, is it?" Matt asked, concerned.

"No, he's fine." Cam narrowed her eyes. "I believe you have some explaining to do."

"Me?" Matt looked confused.

Cam glared at him, nodding. "You have a visitor at your house. The third Beers brother."

"O-oh," Matt said slowly.

"And this brother, would he be more than just a businessman in the music industry? Maybe a Grammy winner?" Cam crossed her arms.

Matt shuffled his feet and looked at the ground. "Dove awards too. Sorry, Cam."

"Sorry!" Cam exploded, making both Matt and Kiri jump. "How could you let me make a fool of myself like that? I could kill you!"

Kiri was watching them in confusion. "What did you do, Matt?"

He shrugged sheepishly. "I didn't tell you guys that Evan Worthy is my brother."

"Oh," said Kiri as if it was nothing, "Figures Cam would freak. She probably slobbered all over him." She went to the refrigerator and rummaged. "I guess we're not going out again, are we?"

Matt coughed. "I suppose I should go see him. He is my brother, after all."

"If he's more important, sure," replied Kiri. "It's just we promised our friends we'd go with them."

Matt looked to Cam for support.

"Your brother is only here till Monday. He misses you terribly. It won't hurt for you to spend the weekend with him."

Kiri sighed loudly and slammed the refrigerator door shut. "I'll just be going to bed early then. Since my boyfriend is dumping me for the night."

"Kiri, that's not fair!" Matt followed her to her room. Cam cleared her throat loudly to show her disapproval. Matt stopped and pleaded with Cam.

"Tell her to come out. I want to be with her, but Evan's going to be mad."

"Kiri!" Cam went into the room and stood in front of her sister. "You're being very rude. Matt is so good to you; he tries all the time to please. Why are you acting like this?"

She bit her lip and looked tearful. "Patti Carroll sat with Matt the whole game. She was all over him, and then when we left she said I'd better watch it cause she's moving in on him first chance she gets."

Cam made a rude noise. "And you think Matt would go for her when he has someone like you? Dream on, girl. Matt's crazy about you."

"Sometimes I'm mean to him because I'm scared he won't like me anymore."

"Not going to happen, Kiri." Cam hugged her sister. "You gave him this new wonderful life. He's very grateful."

Kiri sprayed cologne and played with her stuffed bear, a gift from Matt. "I'd better go talk to him."

Cam made herself scarce while they made up, and when she did come out of her room fifteen minutes later, they were embracing and he was kissing her. Cam cleared her throat for the second time that night. This time, though, Matt and Kiri didn't jump apart; they were used to Cam seeing them kiss. Matt smiled at Kiri and went to get her a coat.

"I'll run you home, Matt, but I'm not staying," Cam said as they went to the car. "You need this time alone with your brother. He's hurting over losing you."

"Maybe you can tell him to get me a car," Matt said, holding the door open for Kiri.

Cam laughed. "I'm not doing you any favors, little boy. I can't believe you let me go on about your brother all this time...I feel like you were mocking me. Then tonight he just shows up...I could have died."

"I never told him anything, Cam except what a great cook you are, that you're taking really good care of us, and that he would like you." He looked at her with wounded eyes. "I only told him good things."

"You said I was bossy."

"Well, it's true."

She sighed. "Matt I wish you had trusted me enough to tell about him. I know you're a separate person from your brother. I don't love you because of who he is."

Matt looked hurt. "But most people do, Cam. All I have to do is mention his name and they want to be my best friend, to meet him. No one likes me for me."

"I do," said Kiri. "I like you better than anyone else in the world."

He smiled at her, but turned to Cam. "I knew that if I told you, that you would treat me different. Even now it's making a big difference, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is," she conceded. "But Matt, not because I'm such a big fan of his and you know I am; it's because you didn't trust me enough to tell me. That means we aren't as close as I think we are."

"I couldn't, Cam. I was afraid I wouldn't matter to you anymore."

"Oh, Matt, silly boy." She stopped the car and pulled him to her, hugging him tightly. "You are about the most lovable, charming character I have ever met. You would never get lost in a crowd, that's for sure."

He laughed. "I've grown up in Evan's shadow. If I wanted any attention at all, I had to do crazy things to be noticed."

"But you turned out well, Matt. You're a wonderful person no matter who your brother is."

"Thanks." He blushed and released her. "These last few months have been the best in my whole life."

"I'm glad," Cam said. "And I'm honored to be part of it. Not because of your brother, but because I met you and Keith. Now, let's get you home. Someone wants to see you very much and there's pie also."

"With vanilla bean ice cream?"

"Of course."

Matt clapped his hands in delight. "What are we waiting for?"

♥

She left him at his doorstep, not venturing into the house. Hopefully this would prove her point that she wouldn't try to get to Evan through him. Besides, the men needed time alone. Kiri complained that it was too early to go home, but Cam gave her a look that silenced her.

At home, Sydney was just stepping out of the bath when Cam and Kiri returned. "Cam! You met Keith's brother. What was he like?"

"A real gem," Cam answered in an understatement. "You left rather suddenly. Is everything okay?"

"Yes, why wouldn't it be?"

"I don't know," replied Cam, hanging her car keys on a peg. "I thought that it was odd of Keith not to introduce you."

"He said this wasn't a good time and practically threw me out." Sydney said she was confused but forgave him. "I just thought he wanted time alone with Evan."

Cam wondered if Keith felt the same as Matt, overshadowed by his famous brother. Keith did tend to shrink into the background anyway. She wouldn't be surprised if Keith was also afraid Sydney would be star-struck and use him to get to Evan, maybe for her musical career. Not Sydney, thought Cam. Or would she? She did say she was going to sell her music some way; to what length was she willing to go? Sydney and Evan, two beautiful people with unbelievable talent...Suddenly Cam didn't want her sister to meet Evan either.

♥

"Is that my new car?" called Matt as he ran into the house. "I don't see Ferrari written anywhere on it."

"Good to see you too, bro," laughed Evan, lunging at him. He put Matt in a headlock before turning him loose and hugging him. "What's this? Getting fat on all that home cooking?"

Matt patted his stomach. "I'm working out at school, and carrying tubs of dirty dishes at my job."

"What about your grades?" Evan asked, frowning and crossing his arms.

Matt rolled his eyes the same way he had seen Kiri a hundred times. "I'm not in school to learn, I'm here to have fun."

"Not anymore," Evan said.

Matt just laughed. "My girlfriend is a cheerleader so I get to hang with half the school and the football team. Man, I love watching her cheer in that outfit."

"Girlfriend?" Evan made a face.

"I told you." Matt made the same face back at him.

"I thought you meant girl...friend. You know, a girl who is a friend."

Matt guffawed. "That is so early teens, Evan. You're so old you don't remember what love is."

"Love? Oh, man we're moving back to Nashville right now."

Matt laughed and swiped at his brother with his hand.

"I'm not going anywhere," Keith said. "Not without Sydney."

"You're in love too?" Evan gasped, wondering how he had missed this, though he should have figured with Keith's behavior.

"She's incredible, Evan." Keith limped into the kitchen with his brothers. "Sydney is the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"You dog!" Evan punched his brother's chest. "I want to meet these wonderful women."

"I can ask Cam to make us a big dinner tomorrow," Matt offered.

"It's her day off," Keith reminded him.

"Then Sunday we'll all go out to eat after church," Matt decided. "Is that okay with you, Evan?"

Evan nodded. "I just want to enjoy all of you and catch up on your lives. And work on Keith's songs. I'm so stoked! Finally I see the next CD becoming a reality."

"Cool. I want to show you my school and where I work, and stuff." Matt helped himself to pie. "Isn't Cam the best cook?"

"I've only had pie and spaghetti, but I could live on those alone." Evan cut pie for himself and Keith. "There are four pies here. She really spoils you."

"No, they're for a bake sale at church. She threatened me if we touched them, said she wouldn't let us kiss our girlfriends for a week."

"Kiss? Matt!"

"I'm not a kid, Evan. Get a grip." He put the other pies in the refrigerator.

"And you, Keith?" Evan asked. "You kiss that woman?"

"Every chance I get." Keith smiled and nodded.

"I guess that leaves me out," grumbled Evan.

"Not by a long shot, big brother," said Matt, elbowing Evan. "There's one more Anderson sister left, and she's just your type."

"She didn't seem all that impressed with me," Evan laughed. "She wouldn't shake my hand; she fell over a chair, and blistered my ears for not telling her who I was."

"That's Cam all right," Matt agreed. "She was real mad at me for keeping your identity a secret."

Evan took another bite of pie. "She acted scared to death of me. But when she talked about you guys, it was totally different. She loves you two."

"She likes you, Evan. A lot," Matt confessed.

"She loves Evan Worthy," corrected his brother. "She doesn't really know me, except for our online friendship."

"Then you had better get to know her and make her a very happy woman," Keith warned. "The future of all our meals hangs in the balance."

"If anyone can charm her, you can," agreed Matt. "You can charm the hide off a cow."

Evan winced. "Is this what they teach you in high school English?"

"Oh, no," replied Matt, grinning. "Everything I know I learned from you."

♥

Cam was so busy Saturday morning she didn't even think about Evan Worthy, except four times before she climbed out of bed, all during breakfast, and most of the time she was at the mall.

"It's no big deal," she told herself without conviction. He's just a man like any other man except he's a millionaire music superstar with more awards than I have shoes. It's not as if I have anything to offer him, we are worlds apart. The most I could ever hope for is that we become acquaintances, even friends. I would be happy with that."

She found herself standing in front of the makeup counter at Marshall Fields, and of course, her bare face was like a beacon to the makeup counselors who clucked over her and offered an immediate makeover. She sat in the chair and let them do their work, and was surprisingly pleased at the result. I look...feminine, she thought, amazed. So nice, she decided to plunk down more money than she had in her checking account for the set. I'll have to race to the bank to get money from my savings, she thought. And since she looked so good in the face, she decided to go the extra mile and have her hair trimmed, to tame the split ends. She could never cut it too short, her father was so proud of her tresses. Shoulder length was her limit. When she walked out of the beauty salon, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and decided her clothes did not match her neatly trimmed hair and made up face. So she went back to Marshall Fields and threw herself on the mercy of the women's fashion clerks, who held a short conference with her, made her try on thousands of outfits, and presented her with a new credit card with a hefty balance. What have I done? Cam wailed as she left the department store, the handles of shopping bags cutting trenches in her arm. Who am I trying to kid? I'm doing all this because of Evan, just as Matt said I would. Now I'll have to avoid him until he's gone, or I'll hurt Matt's feelings, and I don't want to hurt him for the world. But...I want to be around Evan...he's so fascinating, the man of my dreams...she forced herself to stay away. This was Matt's time with his brother, and she had no right to interfere. Maybe next time I can visit with him. For now, I need to reassure Matt he is first and most important to me. If nothing else, Evan's presence finally made me take some care in my appearance. And I like me this way.

♥

Sydney was just walking outside when Cam closed her car door. "Cam! What did you do, you look so different!"

Not Cam you look so very wonderful, thought Cam with chagrin. I guess I'm just a cleaned up version of myself.

"You cut your hair," Sydney said, turning her sister around to have a look. "And makeup!"

Cam frowned. "I've worn makeup before."

"Yes, but not correctly," Sydney stated, peering at her. "You look almost normal."

Cam brushed her off. "It's no big deal."

Sydney wasn't fooled. "It's Evan, Keith's brother, isn't it? I knew it, you two are meant for each other."

"No we're not," Cam demurred. "We're completely different, and anyway he's not interested in someone like me when he can have any woman in the world. He only sees me as his employee, the caretaker for his brothers."

Sydney scoffed. "Please. He's paying you to keep house, not baby-sit. You and he have to come to terms with Keith and I being adults whether you like it or not."

"Kiri and Matt aren't. They need supervision."

"Oh, Cam, Cam." Sydney patted her sister's arm patiently. "You need for us to depend on you, it's all you have. I understand, but you have to believe that someday you will find someone of your own, and you won't feel so alone."

Cam groaned and pushed Sydney away. "Go, Syd. Before I choke you."

Sydney shook her head sadly. "You're so touchy lately. I'll be home later, tell Keith I had shopping to do if he calls."

Cam raised her eyebrows. "If he calls, like he does every five minutes when you're apart? Think he'll be able to live without you for an hour or two?"

"He's got his brother today. I'll let him visit," Sydney said generously.

"You're too good to that man," muttered Cam as she went into the house.

♥

None of the Anderson sisters saw the Beers brothers that day. Kiri and Matt did spend an hour on the phone talking until Keith chased his brother away and took his turn with Sydney. They were glad to see their brother, they claimed, though they spent the better part of the hour telling their girlfriends how unhappy they were to miss them. Evan listened, feeling not a little put out. He had traveled at great expense and at a very inopportune time to see his brothers, they could at least pretend to be grateful. He and Keith worked all day on songs then Matt and Evan threw a football back and forth on the lawn. Matt took Evan to the pasture and told him how perfect his life would be if he only had a horse, and Evan reminded Matt that horses were a lot more work than Matt had ever done, more than bussing dirty dishes.

"That reminds me," said Matt. "I have to work tonight."

"Call off," replied Evan. "I want to see you."

"Not," answered Matt. "I have responsibilities. I can't just walk away."

"I know who that sounds like," called Keith from the porch. "You taught him to be like you, Evan. Now you have to live with it." So Evan drove Matt to work, leaving early enough that they could drive past Matt's school.

"I wish I could take you inside," Matt said. "It's a real school, Evan. With a cafeteria and everything."

"I'm glad you like it here," replied his brother. "Your happiness is very important to me. As long as you keep your grades up, I'll let you live in this town. But if you don't pay attention to your schoolwork, you're outta here."

Matt shook his head. "No way, never happen. I'm going to make the honor roll and have perfect attendance. I love it here, Evan. This is the coolest thing I've ever done."

"You're breaking my heart," teased Evan. "I guess things will never be the same between us again."

"Here in Indiana people like me, Matt Beers for who I am, not because I'm your little brother," Matt told him. "They like me, Evan. I have friends."

"That's great for you," Evan replied, not revealing the sadness he felt. "I guess I should have done this for you sooner."

Matt's silence confirmed his agreement. Evan pulled the car back into traffic and continued on to the Country Buffet in silence. He kept thinking he had failed Matt, not been sensitive enough to his brother's needs all these years. How would he ever make it up to him? And what if he couldn't?

Matt jumped out of the car without saying goodbye and ran to catch up to a co-worker. Evan watched as the two talked amicably then went into the restaurant together. He wished he knew where Cam lived, he needed to hear a friendly voice right now, but it was all he could do to remember how to get back to his own house. When he returned, there was a note from Keith that he and Sydney had gone to dinner. Evan was appalled. He had traveled all this way just to see his brothers and they were gone, leaving him alone in their own house. He sat at the piano and plunked out a tune, then went outside and sat by the bank of the river, sulking. This was not what he planned his visit to be at all.

♥

CHAPTER 24

Sunday morning Cam arrived at church early to set up the computer for worship. She decided to use the CD player instead, since the computer was not working right again. However, someone had gotten into the CDs and they were mixed up, the praise and worship in with others. Cam would have to separate them before she could choose songs. Gathering all the CDs in her arms, she balanced them while turning on the lights in the sanctuary as she did every Sunday. Then she went back to the sound table with the stack of CDs perched precariously on her arm.

"So you're the music director too?" asked Evan as he approached her.

Cam jumped, startled, and the CDs scattered. She grabbed for them as they flew, but missed and they crashed, cases breaking, disks flying.

"Sorry!" Evan dropped to the floor to help clean the mess. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay, I'll get it," Cam said quickly, throwing disks into any case.

"You're mixing them up," Evan observed, pulling them out of wrong cases and finding the right ones.

Cam blushed as she took them from him, embarrassed that he would see how small-time their worship was. "We don't have a choir or even a piano player. We do praise and worship along with recorded music."

"But I thought your sister can sing and play the piano. Why doesn't she do it for the church?"

"She hates to be the center of attention," Cam explained. "It makes her uncomfortable to be stared at."

Evan frowned, confused. "Keith says she's the most beautiful woman in the world. What is she afraid of?"

"She's not afraid." Cam wrote song titles as they spoke. "She thinks people judge her on her looks alone and not the person she truly is inside. Her looks are as much a handicap to her as Keith's legs are to him."

"I think I understand," Evan said, watching Cam write. "Not to sound...full of myself..." They both smiled, remembering a conversation. "But I struggled with that in my career. I wanted so badly to tell the world about Jesus, but many times all they saw was my face, and my hair." He pointed to his now shorn head.

Cam smiled. "The babe factor. It actually works against you."

"I hate that."

They both laughed, and Cam looked down shyly. "I need to find songs for the service. Want to help?"

"Sure," he replied, leaning closer and whispering, "But none of mine. I get so tired of hearing my own voice."

She smiled and handed him a stack of CDs and they chose six songs for before service, and two more for afterward. Cam was embarrassed at how amateur she appeared, how silly it seemed to sing along with recorded music. If he was disappointed, he never let on. And as the church filed in, there was quite a commotion when Evan was recognized. A crowd formed around the guest, causing a delay in the start of the service. Matt didn't volunteer that Evan was his brother, and traded glances with Cam, who smiled encouragement to him and nodded to remind him of his manners. Matt smirked and went to the front of the church to sit with his friends. Keith and Sydney were not present yet, either, and Cam was growing concerned. When the crowd finally let Evan take a seat, he sat in the last row, in front of Cam and the service finally started. The songs played, the congregation sang, and the pastor took the podium for announcements. Cam hurt for Evan; he was sitting alone, so she slipped in beside him though her heart was again beating so loud she was afraid it would disrupt the service. But if Evan heard it, he didn't say so. When he leaned over to whisper to her, Cam was sure she would faint, but thankfully, she didn't. The words he spoke made her take his arm and squeeze it to comfort him.

"Matt didn't want me to sit with him. He said I should probably stay home from church—that I would cause too big of a fuss, and Keith agreed with him."

She gave him a sad smile. "Where is Keith?"

Evan shook his head. "I don't know. He said Sydney was coming to get him and snuck out the door before I caught them."

"Maybe he's afraid you won't approve of her."

He looked at Cam, his eyes hurt. "I told him yesterday I was happy for him. Is there something he doesn't want me to know?"

"Not that I can think of," Cam replied immediately, then thought for a moment. She had a clue to Keith's behavior; she had experienced the same in reverse. Every boy who had ever shown an interest in Cam dropped her the moment he saw Sydney. Evan was so handsome...so charming, so perfect... And Keith was not. He was handsome, muscular, healthy, but from the waist up. All his life he must have watched women pass him over for his normal brother. Cam felt for Keith; she couldn't blame him if that's why he was reluctant to introduce Sydney to her brother.

"I know you're thinking, I can hear the wheels in your head turning," Evan whispered.

Cam blushed. How could she tell Evan what she suspected? It would hurt him, but even so, he needed to understand what it meant to his brother. She had only a minute or two before the pastor began preaching and it would be most rude to talk during his sermon. She asked Evan quickly, "Did you ever notice any women paying attention to Keith, apart from being your brother?"

"You mean has he ever had a girlfriend?"

She nodded.

"Umm, no...Well a few times he had some girls who were friends. But girlfriends, no, not until Sydney."

Cam smiled sympathetically. "Can you imagine how it must feel to Keith, having someone finally love him for himself, not because they want to know you?"

"Oh, man. Not that again." He looked distraught. "Matt said the same thing yesterday. Keith is a wonderful, smart, funny guy who just happens to have bad legs."

"Some people can't see beyond that just the same as they can't see beyond your fame."

Evan looked at her sharply. She got his point. Cam was just like all the others, intimidated by his public persona, and not allowing him to be the person he really was.

"I guess I owe you an apology," she said quietly.

"No, I should have known I would overwhelm you, when you found out who I was. But Cam, all this success...this fame, it's not what you think. God blesses me certainly, and I don't take that for granted, but it's also hard work, dedication and sacrifice. I am under tremendous pressure all the time. My face, my voice, thousands have the same thing. I'm merely a messenger, a willing vessel for the God I serve, lest I think too highly of myself."

"Maybe, but Evan, you have overcome considerable odds to become the sensation that you are. You're at the top of your profession, everyone knows that. Can't you allow yourself a little credit?"

He smiled. "Some. But it could all be over tomorrow. I can't let my guard down for a moment. And...Cam, so many people depend on me for their living, not just Matt and Keith."

Cam did understand. "With fame comes much responsibility. You must wonder if it's all worth it sometimes."

"Tell me about it!" He looked up as Keith and Sydney entered. "Whew, he was right. What a catch."

Cam frowned.

Evan slapped his head. "Oops. Now I'm guilty."

Keith led Sydney to the pew where Cam and Evan sat. Sydney slid in and whispered to her sister, "Keith is acting so weird, I can't understand it! It's all I could do to get him to church!"

The preacher began his message so they couldn't talk any more, but Sydney did lean over and introduce herself to Evan, her eyes widening in recognition. Keith seemed to shrink in his seat as if defeated. Sydney, on the contrary, elbowed her sister and burst into laughter, making the others frown in confusion. Sydney took Keith's arm, made him sit up straight, kissed him and held him tight during the whole service.

♥

After service and another round of excitement over Evan, he offered to treat his brothers and the Anderson sisters to dinner, but Matt didn't want to go to a restaurant with the church.

"Let's do something as a family," Matt suggested.

"Without the girls?" asked Evan.

"No, with them, but you know, not out in the open."

"I see," said Evan. Matt wanted to avoid the commotion that was inevitable when Evan was spotted in public. Autograph seekers always disrupted his meals, and many times Evan left without eating so much as a morsel.

"I can make something at home," Cam offered.

"Why don't Keith and I get some steaks to put on the grill?" Sydney asked. "You go to Keith's and start some potatoes."

"Is that okay with you?" Cam asked Matt.

He nodded. "Kiri and I will make something for dessert. We'll go to the store with Keith and find something easy."

Cam turned to Evan. "Meet you at your house?"

"Sure, I think I can find my way back."

"Why don't I just ride with you?" Cam asked.

He smiled and winked at her. "At last, someone wants to be seen with me."

At the Beers', Cam and Evan started potatoes, made a garden salad, then Cam brought a loaf of homemade bread out of the pantry. She cut a slice, popped it in the oven for a moment, then buttered it and handed it to Evan.

"Oh, man," Evan sighed, his expression becoming a trademark to Cam, "Unsliced bread. I haven't had this...ever, I think. My mom was too busy making money to cook."

"Did you do all the household chores?" Cam asked, cutting him another slice.

"Yeah, she worked pretty much all the time, so I tried to help out by doing all the home stuff. Keith wanted to help also, but he was worse off than he is now. He had so much corrective surgery, I wondered if that alone would kill him." He leaned on the counter. "And Matt was so small when mom died."

"Did you consider going on welfare?"

"No, it wasn't an option with me. My mom wouldn't have wanted that. I was just starting to sing as a career, so I put my all into that, and really, it was the best choice for me. I was successful enough to get Keith the best care, and keep the family together. Matt literally grew up on the road."

"He told me," Cam said. She gave Evan the second piece of buttered bread. "He loves you, Evan. He's very proud of you, but Matt wants to be recognized as his own person. I don't think he's trying to hurt you, just claim his place in this world."

"His place was always with me," Evan said, his voice sad. "Until recently."

"He's growing up." Cam poured him a cup of coffee. "It happens, and we can't stop it. They grow up, they leave...uh, well, not Sydney, but you get my meaning."

"You speak as if you were her mother."

Cam laughed. "I might as well be; she's more helpless than Kiri!"

Evan smiled. "Is she, uh, not very bright?"

"Stupid?" replied Cam. "No, not at all. She's the airy, creative type. You know the saying, so heavenly minded, no earthly good? Well, substitute artistic for heavenly and you have Sydney."

"Keith is in love with her."

Cam placed the coffeepot on its holder and returned. They both took seats on the stools at the counter. "Keith is the only man she's ever been interested in, Evan. She wasn't the least bit impressed with him until she saw he was disabled. From that moment on, they were inseparable."

Evan tried to understand. "So she likes him because he's disabled?"

Cam shook her head. "Sydney has always been judged on her looks, and you can imagine how many men have chased after her. None of them wanted her for the person she is, only her beauty. I think when she saw Keith's legs she felt they had something in common."

"And Keith isn't fool enough to turn her away," laughed Evan. "Not by a long shot."

"I think," said Cam thoughtfully, "They are actually very well matched."

"She really cares for him?"

Cam nodded. "She's in love with him, too."

Evan rubbed his chin. "What are we going to do if they get serious? Who would they live with, you or me?"

Cam sighed and wiped an imaginary crumb from the counter. "That is a very good question."

Matt and Kiri burst through the door, both making a noisy entrance.

"Cam! Matt ate half the cupcakes on the way here!" Kiri put hands on her hips. "I told him he would ruin his appetite but he didn't listen."

"No television for you tonight, young man," Cam scolded. "And no more dessert."

Matt made a face. "Kiri, you are such a tattle tale!"

"Well, you're a pig." She sniffed indignantly and took the bag of cupcakes away from him.

"I'm a growing boy, I have to eat." He opened the refrigerator door and stood staring inside.

"Dinner will be ready in a half-hour," Cam said. "Think you can wait that long?"

"I doubt it," grumbled Matt. "I had to make my own breakfast this morning."

"You cook breakfast for these guys?" Evan asked Cam.

She nodded. "It's part of my job description. Before I started, we sat down and agreed what my responsibilities were to be. I cook two meals, breakfast and supper, and take them to school or work until they get their own license."

"I need that car," Matt reminded his brother.

"You'll get it this month," Evan promised. "So you did draw up an agreement like you said when I first asked?"

"Of course, to protect both our interests. I had to be fair and know what was expected of me."

Evan was impressed. "That's reasonable."

"It leaves no uncertainty," Cam told him. "When we first talked about the job, Keith said he just wanted a cook, and Matt said he wanted a mom. So we reached a compromise."

"A mom?" Evan glanced at Matt.

"You know, do all the mom stuff," Matt explained as if it was simple. "Except worry. We don't pay her to worry about us."

"I do that on my own," laughed Cam. "For you Evan, since you're not here." She put her arm around Matt. "But this guy gives me no trouble at all. I feel proud, like a mom would."

Matt smiled at her. Cam ruffled his hair and looked in bags for the steaks. "Where are Keith and Sydney?"

"Out in the car."

"We need the steaks if we're going to eat, "said Evan. "I'll go get them." He went outside whistling the tune Sydney had composed.

"You two are getting along," commented Matt.

"He's an amazing man," agreed Cam. "Both as a superstar and a person."

"Yeah, and he's single," Matt reminded her.

Cam waved him away. "Don't even go there. He's much too busy, and I'm not his type at all."

"Yes you are," countered Kiri. She snorted. "You're exactly like him, wanting to be the boss of everything."

Cam moved into the pantry to find condiments. "I'm not getting pulled into that debate again. Someday, when you have children you'll understand."

Kiri followed right behind her. "You're not my mother, Cam. So don't act like you know everything,"

Cam groaned. "Kiri..."

Just then, Evan returned with the steaks. "They went away in the car, and left the steaks on the ground!"

Kiri rolled her eyes. "Just like Sydney. She probably set them down for a minute and totally forgot they were there."

Evan studied her facial expression. "So that's where Matt gets the eye thing from. Keith's not one to just run off like that. He's not forgetful at all."

"Let them work it out while we cook," said Cam, taking the steaks. The hurt expression on Evan's face was becoming frequent.

♥

CHAPTER 25

Keith and Sydney returned as Evan was removing the steaks from the grill. This time Keith properly introduced Sydney, and Evan was able to speak with her for the first time.

"Keith's very fond of you," Evan said as he shook her hand.

"I'm very fond of him also," Sydney repeated, smiling at Keith, pulling him closer to her. "He's bright and funny and I could listen to him forever. And he writes poems, lyrics I guess you could call them, which touch my soul. Have you read his work?"

"Actually," Evan replied wondering why Keith hadn't told Sydney that he and his brother were working on her songs, "I'm very impressed with the songs you and Keith composed and I'd like to include them on my next CD."

Sydney squealed and hugged Keith. "You did it; I knew he would love your songs."

"We did it together," Keith reminded her. "And Sydney, we'll earn money selling them to him."

"I knew it!" Sydney was triumphant and looked to Evan for confirmation. "I'm officially a composer!"

"Keith tells me you have a lovely singing voice," Evan added.

"It's really very ordinary. Well, next to Cam's it probably sounds lovely," she laughed.

Evan smiled at Cam, who scowled. "I'd like to hear you sing, Sydney. If things work out, you could sing backup on your own song, or possibly a duet."

Sydney winced. "I don't know...I mean, it's nice of you to offer, but I don't like to sing in front of anyone."

"You won't, just me and later in a studio."

She still wasn't convinced. "Can I bring Cam with me?"

Evan chuckled and ducked because he knew Cam would come after him. "Sure, as long as she doesn't sing."

"There's no law that says a person has to hit the right notes when they sing," Cam protested, swinging the spatula at Evan.

"You should at least be able to come close," laughed Kiri.

"Thank you, Kiri for defending me." Cam pointed the spatula at her sister.

Evan took the spatula out of Cam's hand and placed it out of reach. "Everyone has a talent. So what if it's not singing?"

"Oh, sure you're nice to her now," Kiri remarked, "But wait till you hear her sing!"

"I have," commented Evan. "I thought it was great. It always pleases me to hear someone singing my songs."

"Yeah, right," laughed Kiri.

"Shall we eat?" interrupted Cam, changing the subject. "And after dinner Kiri will show us her own talent, washing dishes."

"No way, I don't think so!"

"Way, Kiri." Cam tugged her sister's hair and invited everyone to the table.

♥

After dinner, Sydney, Keith, and Evan worked on the songs while Matt and Kiri fished in the river. Cam cleaned up after the meal, and did the dishes, just as she knew she would when she asked Kiri. Cam listened for a while as Evan sang, or stopped and rearranged the songs as he saw fit. As happened the other day, all else was forgotten while working on the songs, so Cam took Sydney's car, fetched Kiri, and went home.

♥

Evan, as usual, lost all sense of time when he was working on the song, and never noticed that Cam had left, until Keith and Sydney asked to stop for a while. He went to the kitchen for a snack and was surprised to find it so late, and that Cam was long gone.

"She probably got bored," Matt remarked.

"Bored?" Evan replied, wondering how anyone could be bored when music was being created. To him it was like giving birth to a song, something that would live forever, starting as a simple tune and growing into a rich, complex arrangement. This was one of the most satisfying, rewarding aspects of being in music. He was amazed that others might not feel the same.

"It looks like she took Sydney's car, so she has to come back," Keith said, yawning.

"I'll take you home, Sydney," Evan offered. "I'm not the least bit tired.

Keith looked panicked, but allowed Sydney to answer.

"That would be nice," Sydney replied, and Keith looked crushed. Evan frowned, wondering what he had done to make Keith think he was trying to steal his girlfriend.

"Why don't you ride along, Keith, in case I get lost?" Evan suggested.

"No," Keith said, turning and walking slowly away.

"Keith!" snapped Sydney. "I'm leaving! Don't you want to say goodbye?"

"I think I already have," he answered sadly and went to his room. Sydney put her hands on her hips and scowled.

"What is with him? He's been acting weird since you came home."

Evan frowned. "I know. I'll talk to him when I return. Ready?"

She shook her head. "Just a minute. I can't leave him like this." Sydney put her purse on the counter and went to Keith's room, with Evan close on her heels. He stopped at the door and stayed where he could see Keith but couldn't be seen.

Keith was sitting on his bed staring at the floor. Evan watched as Sydney stood in front of his brother, her arms crossed. He couldn't see her face, but he could imagine the look she gave Keith.

"Keith, what is going on with you? Did I say or do something to hurt you or make you angry?"

He looked at her. "No, Sydney, honest, you didn't. At least not yet."

"Yet? I don't get it." She knelt on the floor and leaned on his legs, but he stood and moved away from her.

"It's not your fault, Sydney. It's happened before, and I was foolish to hope things would be any different this time."

She didn't comprehend. "Tell me, baby."

He wouldn't face her. "I just want you to know that I'll continue to work on your songs, no matter how things are between you and...You're a wonderful composer."

"Look," said Sydney, standing and moving to Keith. She turned him to face her. "I'm not the brightest person in this world; you and I both know that. So help me to understand why you suddenly think things are over between us."

Keith looked at her in anguish. "He's here, Sydney! I can't compete with him, I never could! He's got the looks, the talent, success, and working legs. Do you think any woman in her right mind would choose me, when he is available?" He sighed. "Every time, Sydney. It happened every time anyone showed the slightest interest in me. As soon as they saw Evan, I was history."

Evan was stricken. Keith had never said one word to him! If he had, Evan would never have allowed anyone to hurt his brother. Evan would never, ever, take a woman from him. How could Keith even think that?

Sydney pulled Keith to her and made him put his arms around her. "Thank you for that lovely comment that I'm not in my right mind. Cam would certainly agree with you, she thinks I'm only half here anyway." She took Keith's face in her hands. "Remember when we first met, and I told you that appearance means nothing to me, it's the inside that matters?"

He didn't respond so she continued. "No one knows that better than you or I, Keith. I knew there was more to you than your legs, and I found it. You're witty, charming, and I love the way you care about me. Why would I throw all that away for someone with working legs?"

"I can't give you things, Sydney. I'll never be able to work enough to support you."

She laughed. "How do you figure? What are you thinking of doing for a living, playing football? What are the odds of getting a job that uses your brain? You know so much, Keith. And think, babe. Our songs."

Sydney leaned into him and put her head on his shoulder. "Your brother is giving us the chance of a lifetime and we have to make the best of it! We don't need your legs for that."

"But that's how I'm judged, Sydney. It's not fair, but it's true."

"Then change it," Sydney insisted. "Be the exception."

He stepped away. "I...I don't know how."

Sydney groaned. "Yes, you do! Let's work hard on this CD, and make it your debut. Honey, I'm telling you, this is the start of something big. If you do, I promise, I'll sing for you. I'll sing in public if you ask."

Keith smiled. "For me? You said you'd never sing, for me or anyone, until Evan asked you."

"Oh, is that what made you think I was choosing him over you? I was going to do it for us, Keith. I wanted to give you the success you deserve."

"But you hate to sing in front of people."

She claimed him again and held tight. "Because, Keith, my love, people judge me on my looks, not on my own merit. It's not fair, but it's the truth."

He kissed her, his hands cupping her chin. "They can't help it, Syd. You're the most beautiful woman alive. I can't help it."

"Not you too," she wailed. "I thought we were so much more than that. Then...I was attracted to you because of your legs. So I guess I'm guilty too."

He shook his head. "There's a big difference between my legs and your face, Sydney."

"Ooh! I don't know why I bother!" She pushed away from him and stormed out the bedroom door. Evan dove into the nearest room, just before she saw him. Sydney slammed Keith's bedroom door for good measure, and went to the kitchen, calling for Evan. He followed behind her and tried to make it look like he was there all along.

"I'm ready if you are," Sydney said.

"Let me find my keys." Evan patted his pockets, and then looked on the counter. He felt in his shirt, and then under papers on the table. "They're here somewhere."

Sydney waited impatiently while Evan opened drawers, looked under chairs and ran into his room.

"I can call my sister," she yelled after him.

"No, they have to be here somewhere," Evan called back. He went outside to check the ignition of the rental car.

Keith, hearing the door, came out of his room and into the kitchen, stopping when he spotted Sydney.

"He can't find his keys," Sydney said. "I can't wait until you have your license."

"Soon," he replied, moving closer to her.

"I would much rather have you drive me home," Sydney muttered, meeting him. "I wish I didn't have to go home at all."

Keith reached for her and played with her hair. "Do you want to stay longer?"

She wrapped her arms around him. "I want to stay with you forever."

He kissed her deeply. "Do you mean that? It's not too soon to feel the way we do, is it?"

"Not too soon for me," she declared firmly. "I've been waiting for you all my life." They kissed with renewed passion, and Keith dared hope that what she spoke was true. He led her into the family room, forgetting about Evan, who had found the keys and was standing in the doorway waiting.

"Once again, it's just me," Evan said aloud. However, he wasn't planning to stay up all night alone, so he had to find a way to get Sydney home. He found Cam's number and called on his cell phone.

She sounded sleepy when she answered. Evan could hear his music playing in the background.

"Hey, Cam."

"Evan, hi."

"Uh, sorry to wake you, I was just wondering how to get Sydney home, but never mind. I'll bring her home later."

"I'll bring her car, Evan. She may stay for hours yet."

"No, if you're sleeping, I'll have her wake me when she's ready."

"Don't be silly. You have to be up early for your flight. I'm on my way."

He thanked her and promised to drive Cam right home, then went to the piano to work on the songs while he waited. Matt stuck his head into the room a minute later.

"Could you hold it down, Evan? I have school tomorrow."

Evan slapped the piano lid shut. "I do own this house, right?"

Matt stretched. "Yeah, but Keith and I live here. And I have to be up early. Sorry bro, but school's important."

Evan stood. "Yes, it is. I can do this in Nashville. Goodnight Matt. I'll see you in the morning." Matt went back to his room and left Evan to wander about the house, feeling like an outsider. Both of his brothers who until now practically worshiped him had no place for Evan in their lives. Keith was worried that Sydney might drop him for his older brother, and Matt acted as if Evan was an inconvenience. I wouldn't have come to visit if I knew they didn't want me. Here I am, in this house, which I paid for, yet I feel resented and out of place. Still, it was worth the trip, he had gotten four good songs for his next CD, and he was certain that his brothers were being properly cared for in this far away home.

It's funny, thought Evan, I have thousands of fans who would do anything to be next to me, but the ones who matter most don't want me around. So much for being on top of my profession. What good is success if your own family rejects you?

He decided to get some fresh air and went out to the front porch. It was slightly cool, with fall coming slowly to Indiana, and the moon was big, bright and so very inviting. Evan sat on the swing and let his body relax for the first time in a year. Maybe if he sat still, God would speak to him and he would feel the wonder of His presence again. How he missed that! God, I've pushed you right out of my life, and I'm so sorry. I need you, more than ever now. I'm alone, unwanted, and I don't feel the least bit at home. Nashville is my home, it's where my work and my life is, or used to be. That was when Keith and Matt were with me. It feels empty and uninviting there too. Everyone I know is either an employee or fellow musician, but I have no close friends...I guess that's my fault, I saved that for my brothers. He laughed shortly; he was surrounded by people every waking moment and yet might as well be in solitary confinement. He placed walls, whether as protection or privacy, he didn't know, but everyone wanted a piece of him and by the time they were done, there was nothing left. All I really want, he thought, is someone to love me, not who I am or what I do, but the person I am inside. Sydney knew that feeling, and Cam seemed to understand. Maybe if he talked to Cam, he would feel better. She was so genuine, such good company, and she made him feel good without patronizing or telling him only what he wanted to hear.

Car headlights shone in the driveway, and Evan waved so she would see him.

♥

CHAPTER 26

The last person Cam expected to hear from was Evan Worthy, and when she woke to the phone's ring, her first thought was that the hospital was calling about her father. Which of course was ridiculous, but in her sleepy state, it took her a moment to recognize his voice. When she did, butterflies danced in her stomach and she had to take a calming breath. His singing voice on the stereo soothed her, but his voice on the phone caused panic, making her heart beat wildly. How long would it be until she could be near him without this reaction? Cam hoped he hadn't heard the excitement in her voice when she offered to bring Sydney's car. She was going to see him again, tonight, before he left for Nashville in the morning! He may have only needed a favor, but it didn't matter what the reason, she was going to see him one more time and that was worth any trouble, including jumping out of bed and making herself presentable for the second time that day. She was out the door so fast she took the wrong set of keys and had to run back inside to find Sydney's. Calm down, she told herself, or you'll never make it over there alive. Before she rushed out of the house again, she sprayed cologne from head to toe and sneezed when it went up her nose. Cam giggled, thinking how she must seem, darting in and out of the house sneezing and taking deep breaths to calm her. He's way out of your league, Cam. Don't get all worked up over him, you'll only be hurt and disappointed. If ordinary men aren't interested in you, how much less this man who can have his choice of any woman in America? Still, her fluttering heart ruled as she sped toward his house. Maybe he will let me stay and talk for a while; I love being near him. It almost killed me to go home this afternoon, but Matt was watching me closely, testing me to find my loyalty. He was so innocent, still in need of mothering, and Cam's heart belonged to her young charge. She wanted him to feel loved as much as he needed to feel it from her. So she claimed Kiri and left, certain it made him believe she wasn't using him to get to Evan. She much preferred to stay; listening to the birth of the songs Keith and Sydney created was utterly fascinating, and of course listening to Evan sing was her favorite activity anyway. Instead, she went home, settling for his voice over the stereo, until she fell asleep, and he woke her.

She pulled into the driveway and saw him wave to her from the porch. Her stomach lurched and blood rushed to her head. Thank goodness for the cover of darkness, he wouldn't see her face flushed or her breath coming out in gasps.

He stepped off the porch and led her away from the house. She felt a thrill that he was willing to spend some time with her and she forced herself to calm so as not to embarrass either of them. They walked to the bank of the river, where Evan picked up stones and threw them into the water one by one.

"I used to be able to skip rocks three or four times." He threw another, which promptly sank. "Ah how the mighty have fallen."

Cam laughed. "Can you imagine? Something you aren't good at! There's hope for the rest of us."

He sat down next to her on the bank. "You were right, Cam. Keith was worried I would steal Sydney. And Matt thinks I'm interfering in his life. I don't belong here."

She touched his arm. "Yes, you do, but not in the same way you're used to, Evan. Life is constant change."

Evan looked out over the water. He reached for another stone and threw it. "When Matt was little, we spent all our time together. He, Keith and I were each other's best friends. Matt was the mascot for my crew—Cam you would have loved it! He went through a phase in which he wanted to dress and look just like me, so my wardrobe people put him in a matching outfit. We looked so stupid!"

She wished with all her might she had seen that. "He looked up to you."

"And I took it very seriously. My conduct, the way I behaved was totally imitated by Matt. So I had to be perfect in all things, a good role model."

"I'd say it worked." Cam handed him more stones, which he put in his pant pocket.

"Until now. He seems to think I'm in the way. He...yelled at me for playing the piano while he tried to sleep."

Cam rubbed his back. "He's keeping different hours now, up by six and out the door by seven. At night, he's beat."

"I can understand that." Evan rolled his head back, enjoying her touch. "And I understand Keith's fear, even if I don't believe it." This time, the rock he threw skipped three times.

"She loves him," Cam said.

"Yeah, both my brothers are so happy I could puke."

Cam laughed and nudged him. "I thought I was the only one who felt like that! And the worst part is Kiri consoling me, telling me all my faults so I'll know why no one wants me."

"I can't believe no one wants you," Evan said, looking at her. "You're bright, responsible, competent and an awesome cook."

"Words every woman dreams of hearing."

"I think those are good characteristics," Evan protested, throwing another stone.

"For someone you hire. Women want to hear things like, you are so beautiful; I lose my head when I'm with you, I can't resist you—that kind of mush."

He stood and pulled her up with him, walking closer to the river. "No wonder I can't get a date." As he got near the edge, he peered into the water. "How deep do you think the river is?"

"Very shallow here. Why? Do you want to swim?"

"No, but when I threw that last rock, I tossed the keys to my car."

Cam laughed heartily and slid out of her shoes. "They can't be too far. Come on in, the water's...COLD!" She gasped loudly. Evan pulled off his shoes and socks and rolled his pants as far as he could. The water only reached their knees, but it was freezing and the current was stronger than it looked. Both Evan and Cam shivered fiercely as they felt in the water for the keys.

"Nothing is going to bite me, right?" Evan said through chattering teeth.

"No, at least I hope not," Cam replied. "I think I feel something. Here!"

He hurried to where she stood, but lost his footing as he reached her, and fell into the freezing water.

"Holy—!" The current kept him on his backside. Cam gave him her arm to pull, but just as he stood, he slipped on a rock and tumbled, knocking both of them back into the water.

"Oh, Cold!" Cam howled. Evan laughed so hard he could barely pull her out of the current.

"Sorry Cam, I'm so clumsy." He tried to wring her shirt.

"Not...your...fault..." she gasped.

"We have to get out of these wet clothes." Evan hurried her back to the house and ordered her to strip, so she locked herself in the bathroom and tried to dry her hair with a towel. Evan knocked on the bathroom door and said he had a pair of flannel pajamas for her. Cam opened the door and stuck out her arm, taking the pajamas, and dressed, still shivering.

"You wear these?" she called through the door.

"No, they're sensible and I always say I will, but I never do. I'm usually too tired to bother at night."

"I am not picturing that," Cam said to him.

He laughed. "I'm picturing you. Sorry."

"It's not a pretty sight." She combed her hair, slicking it back on her head and laughed at the spectacle. "I look so bad... And these pajamas..." He's going to see me in pajamas!

"I'm making hot chocolate, when you're ready," he called. "It'll warm you."

"That's all it will do. Did you microwave the water for two minutes?"

He laughed. "I can do this on my own, thank you."

Cam walked into the kitchen and he gave her a steaming mug.

"Better now?"

"Yes," she replied. "You?"

"I'm dry." He was wearing a pair of jeans, a red flannel shirt, and ugly, ragged slippers.

She gasped, suddenly remembering what they were searching for. "The keys!"

"Relax." He held them up. "I caught them when you fell."

"That was the most fun I've had in a long time," she said, smiling at him.

"What was?" asked Sydney, walking into the kitchen. She stopped abruptly and Keith ran into her. They both stared at Cam, in Evan's pajamas, her hair wet. Sydney's hand flew to her throat.

"Cam! I know you think Evan Worthy is next to God, but...this is not the way to win his heart! He's just using you!"

Cam and Evan exchanged amused glances.

"I'm shocked, Cam. You of all people." Sydney shook her head and pulled Keith away. "She's lost her head over him, Keith. My sister threw herself at him, and now he's never going to respect her."

Evan moved to Cam's side and put his arm around her, grinning.

Sydney sniffed and asked Cam where her car keys were. "Keith and I are going to get something to eat."

"We'd join you, but obviously, I'm not dressed to go out," Cam said, laughing.

"You're not dressed at all," Sydney scolded.

"Evan, where are my clothes?" Cam asked. He went to the bathroom and produced her soaked shirt and pants.

"They're all wet," Sydney said, frowning. How did they get that way?"

Evan shrugged. "It's the only way I could talk her out of her clothes."

"Wh-what?" Sydney was not amused. "You, Mr. Worthy of all people, should know better."

"SYDNEY!" Cam exclaimed. "We fell into the river. Evan was being a gentleman. There are no women's clothes for me to change into."

Sydney frowned. "Very funny, you had me fooled. Come on, Keith."

"I had better drive you home," Evan said to Cam after her sister left. "Or should I take you to the church to get your car?"

"Hello, Mr. Beers." Cam laughed. "How do you think the church would react if I was sighted in your pajamas in the parking lot?"

He grinned. "I think you look beautiful. I lose my head when I'm with you."

Cam slapped at him. "I feel so much better now," she quipped. "Take me home, you rugged stone throwing man, and don't drop those keys, or else."

Evan chuckled and carried her wet things to the car for Cam. "If I get lost on the way home, I'm in trouble."

"Cell phone," said Cam. "Wonderful invention.

He shook his head. "I'll find my way."

Cam wasn't as confident as Evan was about directions, so she told him all the street names as he drove. At her home, she invited him in, and he surprised her by accepting. She went to her room to change, and when she was finished, she found him in the living room, looking at the wall of family pictures.

"Is there any photographs you haven't hung?" Evan asked, wondering at the sheer volume of pictures.

"My dad loved his girls," Cam replied. "He called this his wall."

"Your mom looks like Sydney."

"And I look like my dad."

Evan stared at her. Cam's stomach tightened.

He shook his head. "You resemble him, but in a feminine way."

"Thanks," she managed, blushing from head to toe.

He noticed, and it pleased him. "Your dad must have been very proud of you."

"I hope so. I miss him more than I can say." She felt tears form and turned away from Evan so he wouldn't see, but he stole up beside her and rubbed her shoulders in sympathy.

"It's still fresh," he said.

"Yes," she replied, taking a breath and pushing the emotions away. "But I'm not going to slobber all over you, as Kiri would say."

He put his arm around her and pulled her close. "Good, because I've already been wet once tonight."

Cam could smell his cologne, and his arms around her were like every dream she ever had about him, but real. She wanted to fall into his embrace and never come up for air. He was warm, comforting, and it felt like his arms were made for her. But they weren't, she reminded herself. He belongs to his brothers, his job and his fans, not me, and I don't want to hurt over him. If he wanted me, he would tell me, in whatever way, but right now, I'm sure he's just being kind, comforting me. As the thoughts swirled through her head, he broke the embrace and stepped away, confirming her fears. He told her goodnight fondly, but made no move toward Cam, just waved and went out the door. She wished him a safe trip, and he said thanks, but he'd probably see her before he left in the morning. Cam watched him go, holding up her phone to remind him to call if he was lost. He nodded to show he understood and drove away.

Despite her pledge not to let her heart fall for him, Cam knew she was, and it would tear her up to see him leave. She felt tears in her eyes again, and went to her room, leaving the kitchen light on for Sydney. Let him go, she ordered her heart, but it had a hold on him that she couldn't break.

♥

She smelled like the water in the river, and it reminded Evan of the incident with the keys; her chattering teeth and blue lips, the way she howled when the cold water washed over her, and how adorable she looked in his pajamas. He thought of the good humor that she displayed when Sydney thought they had...Evan almost laughed aloud.

Ah, it felt good to have someone close. He would like to do more than just put his arm around her; he would like to kiss her, but then it would prove he was interested in more than just friendship. He couldn't do that to her, it wasn't fair. What woman would want to follow him on tour, living in his shadow, sometimes only seeing him once a day for a few minutes? If he kissed her now, as he desperately wanted, it would change everything. She was technically his employee, how could they face each other tomorrow when she arrived to cook and clean? Then he would leave, as he planned, and what about her? He couldn't do this, not tonight. Maybe someday they would know each other better, and he might have more time to woo her properly, the way she deserved. But not under this circumstance, in the living room with Cam still hurting over her father's death. She was vulnerable, and he could take advantage of her, but it wasn't right, and it wasn't his way. He broke off the embrace, half hoping she would protest, but she didn't and the next thing he knew he was driving away, to the house he paid for but at which he wasn't welcome. And leaving behind the only person who seemed to care.

♥

CHAPTER 27

The house was empty and quiet when Evan woke the next morning, meaning he had overslept and missed his brothers, or that they hadn't bothered to wake him. Cam must not be here either, so there was no one to say goodbye to before he left for the airport. His flight was scheduled for ten thirty, so he had plenty of time. He strode into the kitchen in his old, shabby bathrobe, poured himself a cup of coffee, and started making phone calls.

An hour later, while he was talking to Mitch about the Christmas tour, Cam arrived, carrying bags of groceries. Evan excused himself to help her, and when the bags were in the kitchen, resumed his conversation with his manager, keeping his eyes on Cam as she put groceries away.

"Evan," Mitch said, "We're having a small problem with some of the tour's musicians wanting more money than we're willing to pay. They also want a cut of the tour recording and they don't like working at the studio we rented."

"Is that all," Evan deadpanned. "This could be avoided, at least some of it, if we bought our own recording studio like we talked about on tour."

"I'm glad you said that," Mitch began, "because I've been meeting with André DeNast at Barn Stable studios, and he says he's ready to sell."

"No way!"

"Way, Evan. I'd like to go in half with you."

Evan agreed. "We'd be a great team, Mitch. I'm in. Let's get it before anyone else does."

"I thought you would say that, so I've already had our lawyers draw papers. André likes you, he always has, and he wants to give you first rights."

Evan slapped the counter in excitement. A studio would be the answer to keeping his employees working steadily. He would no longer be the only product for his company; he would be renting time to many other entertainers. "I'll call André myself and thank him. When can we set up a meeting?"

"As soon as you get back to Nashville. Tomorrow night would be best for me."

Evan whooped. Cam looked up from the bag she was unloading and smiled when he did.

"I'm coming home today, but Mitch, wait till you hear this. I have four songs for the next CD, written by Keith. They're good, I'm not kidding, better than most of mine."

"Keith? When did he learn to write music?"

Evan laughed. "He can't. But his girlfriend, you heard me, girlfriend is a composer. He writes the words."

"I'll be darned." Mitch whistled softly. "I shouldn't be surprised, but I am. Well, we can talk about it when you get here. I'll want you to spend time with Keith, working on songs. When's the soonest you can go back to Indiana, or will you bring Keith here?"

"He won't leave."

Cam was cracking eggs into a bowl and beating them with a whisk. Butter sizzled in a pan on the stove and there were omelet ingredients on the counter. Evan's stomach growled.

"I don't know when I can get away again, Mitch. I've got rehearsals almost every day, right up to the start of the tour." He could hear his manager flipping pages in his planner.

"Can you say overkill? I'm going to work with the others and condense our rehearsals. They're too dragged out, and we can do less days with longer hours."

"I can live with that. How much can I come back here then until the tour?"

Mitch was silent a moment while he looked. "Up till Thanksgiving two days a week, that's only three weeks away, though. Then you hit the tour trail hot and heavy, and it's over on December twenty-first, which is a Sunday."

"I'll be home in plenty of time for Christmas."

"Yep, Matt put his foot down."

Evan sighed. "That must have been before he moved. He feels differently now."

Cam moved past Evan on her way to the pantry and patted his arm. She knew that he was talking about his family.

"Are your brothers behaving themselves?"

"Yeah, and they're both in love. It's pitiful."

Mitch laughed. "I knew Matt would be as soon as he met that girl. And what about you, Evan? I know about the third sister."

Evan digressed. "I'm not much of a prize. Ask my brothers, they barely tolerate me being here."

"So you like her," teased Mitch. "I can read between the lines. It's why I'm so good at what I do."

"Yeah, I do. Not that it matters."

Mitch's voice softened. "It might to her. Give it a shot. You've raised your brothers, now it's your turn."

The smell of breakfast wafted through the kitchen, and Evan inhaled deeply. "I'd like to Mitch, theoretically, but I'm not sure it's going both ways, if you know what I mean."

"Aw, who could resist you?"

"Apparently this one."

"Good, keeps you humble."

"Keeps me lonely," remarked Evan.

"The thrill is in the chase, you know." Mitch rustled his notes on his desk. "Hey, looks like rehearsal's been canceled today because of an emergency. Why don't you come home tomorrow? We can't do anything till then."

Evan laughed, not fooled at all. "Smooth, Mitch. How much scrambling will it take to create an emergency?"

"Trust me, buddy. I want to see you happy like Gloria and me. One more day won't matter here, but you never know what can happen there."

Evan nodded, catching Cam's eyes. "Thanks, Mitch. I think I'll see what happens."

As he turned off the phone, Evan gave Cam his most charming smile. "Please say those eggs are for me."

"I should say no because of that smarmy look on your face," Cam said in mock seriousness. "But, yes, my dear. Eat up."

"Ahh," he said, sitting at the table. "So this is what my brothers wake up to every weekday morning?"

"That's what we agreed on." She buttered toast and placed it on his plate. "Two good meals a day."

Evan bit into his omelet, and cheese oozed down his chin. "This is great. But I couldn't eat like this every day and still keep wire-thin for the stage."

"I've heard television puts on ten pounds," Cam said.

"It does. And the lights create shadows on your worst features." Evan sipped his coffee. "I hate to see myself on television."

"Speaking of television, your infamous visit to the Cat Randolph show is being repeated tonight at nine."

He made a face. "This would be a good time to take you out for that dinner I promised you months ago."

"Sure." She started water for the breakfast dishes.

"And a movie. I haven't been to a real movie since time began." He put down his fork.

"What about your flight this morning?"

"I'm staying one more day."

Cam's face was impassive. "Oh, that's nice. You weren't needed?"

Evan felt a pang of disappointment. "No, rehearsal was canceled. But I have good news. Mitch and I have a recording studio. We're going over the papers tomorrow."

"Really? Good, you wanted that." She took his plate.

"I did. This is a dream come true. I've rented space all these years, and now I'll be the one charging."

"I'm so happy for you." She hugged his neck. "Will it mean you are going to be more or less busy?"

"I don't know." He touched her arm. "On one hand, it will be a great income producer, which I don't need, honest. But it will mean less pressure on me personally, as far as my career is concerned. My employees will work for the studio, not me. I won't have to always generate income myself."

"So, not so much touring?"

"Maybe not, it's up to me. I can stay home more...if I want."

He smelled her cologne and it made him think about last night. She moved away just as he would have pulled her to him.

"I know you're thinking of your empty house in Nashville," Cam said. She moved to sit next to him. "Is there any way you could commute from here?"

He shook his head. "I don't think so. Nothing's impossible, but Cam you had to have noticed I'm not exactly wanted here."

Oh yes you are, thought Cam. By me. If only he felt the same way.

He pushed his chair away from the table. "I think I'd like to get some equipment for my office today. Take me?"

She smiled. "Love to. I can take you to the bargain place or the top of the line, whatever you want."

"I can shop anywhere, but I trust your judgment. I need to get as much as I can today, and have it set up so Keith and I can keep in touch about the songs."

"So shower, brush your teeth, and comb that hair, what little you have. I like my Grammy winners to look presentable in public."

He laughed and snapped a towel at her. "Did I tell you why I cut my hair? My makeup person had the stomach flu; we all did this last tour. The whole crew. She was too sick to do my hair, and I was left to style it myself."

"And we know how you men hate to fuss with your hair," Cam teased, fluffing his hair with her fingertips. It felt like heaven to him.

"I like this wash and go style," Evan said. "It's easy and quick."

"Your fans will get used to it." She gave his hair one last shake and went to start the dishes.

♥

Cam stood at the sink, her hands shaking in the soapy water. It was happening again, he had affected her so much she was undone. She knew he might still be at home when she returned with the groceries, and she hoped he would, then she walked into the kitchen and he set the phone on the counter to help her with the bags. He was in an old, ragged robe that looked like it had been chewed by an animal and his hair was sticking up on one side of his head from sleep. While she was putting groceries away, their eyes met, and when he smiled at her she broke an egg in her hand trying to keep from swooning. She laughed to herself. I must be his biggest fan if I feel like fainting when he merely looks at me. These last three days have been the biggest thrill of my life, not only meeting the singer I idolize, but spending time with him and getting to know the man he truly is. And she liked that man, Evan Beers, immensely, even before she met him face to face. She knew that they would at least be friends when they did finally meet, but what a shock to find out who he really was.

Who he really was. That was an irony, because Evan Worthy really was Evan Beers, and though Cam idolized the singer, she was terribly fond, and rapidly falling for the real Evan. It was almost like being in love with two separate men, but one was real, and the other a figment of her imagination. Evan Worthy was a creation, the public persona of a very private man. Evan Beers was charming, witty yet serious, kindhearted, a most perfect man, someone Cam could touch and feel, and love. It was from touching him that her hands shook, the feeling like electricity that shot through her this morning when she put her arms around his neck and he touched her.

His hair, however was another matter altogether. That hair belonged to Evan Worthy, it was practically sacred. Cam thought she would never wash her hands again, if they weren't already in dishwater.

Evan cleared his throat to get her attention, and Cam spun around as if he had heard her musings, but she recovered quickly and dried her hands.

"Ready?" she asked, reaching for her purse. "Do you want to drive?" Cam wouldn't trust herself with him in the car.

"My credit cards are primed and ready," Evan said, sliding his wallet into his back pocket. He held the door for her as they walked outside and then again as she sat in the car.

"I found my way home last night," he remarked as he turned the ignition, "But I locked myself out of the house."

Cam looked at him curiously. "How could you do that? Don't you have a key?"

"No," he said, grinning. "I never even thought about it until last night. I had to beat on the doors and windows until Matt woke. He was not a happy camper."

Cam laughed. "Yesterday was just not your day at all! I hope today is much better."

"So do I," he said, looking intently at her. She thought she might hyperventilate, and quickly opened the window for air.

"Are you hot?" he asked, opening his window also.

"On fire," she gasped, unable to catch her breath. He looked concerned and asked if she needed water or something, which made her burst into laughter at the absurdity of the situation.

"Am I missing something?" he asked with a puzzled look on his face.

"No, I'm just dying of embarrassment," Cam assured him. "But if you ignore me I'm sure it will go away."

He looked puzzled and turned the car around, then pulled out into the road. Cam managed to tell him where to go without choking and rolled her window up because she was now freezing. Evan did too; he must have been waiting until she did.

"What is it that women get, hot flashes?" he asked idly. "But isn't that a sign of old age?"

"Every forty year old woman would declare war on you if they heard what you just said," teased Cam. "It's part of menopause, which I won't talk about because men can't handle it."

"Handle what? I'm a very strong person," he reasoned.

"Talk of womanly things, like menstra—-"

"Oh, that," He said sharply, cutting off her words. Evan laughed aloud. "Man, you are so right! I got the willies just then!"

Cam leaned close to him and winked. "Don't feel bad. All men do. It's a woman's secret to clearing a room of men. Works like a charm."

He looked at her in wonder. "I am learning so much."

Cam laughed heartily. "You're so funny. Why don't you ever sing silly songs?"

"Because I'd look like an idiot. And until this weekend, I had some dignity."

"I know that's true," Cam agreed.

♥

CHAPTER 28

Evan was a supply salesman's dream, wanting every gadget he put his hands on, and not even looking at the price tags. Cam found herself the one to argue over prices, keeping Evan from buying everything in sight by asking him if he really needed each item. Like the electronic organizer that was so hard to figure out that she put an address book in his hand and showed Evan how to turn pages. Or the three different phones he picked out, all with a distinctive feature. She made the salesman produce one phone that had all of them built in, and then accused him of knowing a sucker when he saw one. The salesman shook his head patiently, which infuriated Cam and she almost dragged Evan out of the store, but the look on his face stopped her. He was enjoying himself, relaxing, playing with all the electronic gadgets. Evan was happy, and she wanted him to stay like that as long as possible, so she excused herself and went to look at desks. A woman was peering at Evan, probably wondering if her eyes were playing tricks on her. Cam smiled to herself, and watched the woman as she tried to decide if the man she saw was indeed Evan Worthy.

Evan looked up from the computer he was playing with. "Hey Cam, what do you think about this one?"

The woman near Cam about fell over. Cam caught her arm and helped her straighten.

"He does that to me too," Cam confessed.

"You're his girlfriend?" the woman asked in astonishment.

"Actually, his housekeeper." Cam put her hand over her mouth. She broke a cardinal rule of knowing a celebrity—informing a fan he lived close by. Evan would be angry with her. If word got out he lived here in Elkhart, his house would become a destination for fans, his privacy shattered. She felt like crying. Evan valued his family's privacy and now she exposed him.

As stricken as Cam was, Evan seemed not to notice as he walked toward her smiling. The woman Cam spoke to made a beeline for Evan and introduced herself, saying how much she loved his music and how thrilled she was to actually meet him.

Evan greeted her with charm and grace, and made small talk with her as Cam watched uncertainly. He signed his autograph on a scrap of paper the woman produced from her purse, and thanked her for saying such nice things to him. Looking up at Cam, he winked, and then turned his attention to the clerk who was looking at him with wonder, probably counting his commission now that he knew he was serving a millionaire. Cam breathed a little easier, but resolved to discuss privacy with Evan, to know what he expected of her concerning where he lived and the problem of recognition.

"Lesson number one," Evan said to Cam as the sales clerk went to see if he had the computer in stock, "Celebrities must always carry a pen."

"Oh, they have a school for public persons?" asked Cam, raising her eyebrows.

Evan ignored her question. "Lesson number two is never run from the fans, they pay your salary."

"Never run. Got that."

He shook his head. "What stinks about being accessible is you wouldn't believe how many people want to kiss me. I reach to shake someone's hands and suddenly I see...lips! And they're aimed at me!"

The image made Cam chuckle. "I never thought of that."

He shuddered. "From you I could handle it. From others it's downright scary."

"That's part of the price you pay for being successful, isn't it?"

"That, and the loss of yourself as a person," Evan said. "Everyone sees me as this smart, spiritual man since my face is recognizable. They all want to know my opinion of everything, like I'm an expert on global warming because I have a gold record." He crossed his arms and leaned on a shelf. "People don't realize that I'm just like them with a high profile job. I eat, sleep, and smell awful before I shower. I just want to be treated like..."

"Shall I add that camera to your purchase?" asked the salesman, reminding Cam that she was supposed to be watching out for Evan's best interest. She went to see what he was getting, a camera to place on his computer.

"So I can see you while we talk?" Cam wondered, thinking she would like one for herself.

"No, so I can see you," Evan replied. "This is for your computer."

"Evan..." She looked at him with displeasure.

"Relax, Cam. I can't see you unless you actually turn it on."

She was okay with that. The salesman called for help to carry all of Evan's purchases to his car, while Cam tried not to think about the merchandise total.

Evan must have noticed her distress, because he whispered into her ear, "I can afford this, you know."

"I'm sorry, Evan. It's so weird...spending money."

He grinned and signed the receipt. The salesman still didn't have a clue who he was serving, to Cam's amazement, but the man was staring at Evan anyway, as if he was some kind of hero. He even helped Evan carry boxes to the car, but left Cam and Evan to load.

"We should have rented a truck," Evan remarked, as they unloaded boxes that wouldn't fit from the trunk. He repacked everything and used the back seat of the rental car, but they still had boxes left over.

"Now what?" asked Cam. "Why don't you put the rest in the front seat, and I'll wait here until you return?"

He made a face. "I don't know if I can find my way home. Or back."

They were both silent a moment as they pondered their dilemma. Then Evan played around with the car seats and packed boxes in the passenger seat, grinning as he stepped back, obviously very pleased with himself.

"Here's my idea, don't panic or anything." He led Cam to the driver's door. "You can either squeeze in next to me, or..." He winced. "Ride home on my lap."

"You are not serious."

"I promise to keep my hands to myself." He looked at her hopefully. "We're only about what, thirty minutes from home?"

"What if we get pulled over?"

"I'll charm the badge off the cop. Come on, Cam. Live dangerously."

She let him sit in the seat first, and then draped herself across him, sitting sideways and putting her arms around his neck. "This is very strange."

He turned on the ignition. "I kinda like it."

"Do I get points for the things I do for you?" Cam asked. "First the river, now I'm crunched up in a car on your lap. By the way, hands on the wheel, not the woman."

"You're no fun." He couldn't use both hands to drive; he was supporting her back with his right one. "I hope no one sees me."

"You!" Cam laughed. "What if Sydney catches me like this? She'll really think something's up."

Evan grunted and pulled into traffic. She instructed him to take side streets, but they still had to cross the river so she took him a longer way to stay off main roads. Thirty minutes later, they were home and both of them stretched as they stood outside the car.

"I didn't know it was so much work to hold a woman," Evan said, shaking the stiffness out of his arm.

Cam swatted at him, then winced because her leg was cramping. She pulled a box out of the back seat and walked to the house with it, Evan following behind her.

"Be careful with that, it's highly sensitive electronic equipment," Evan warned as they carried the purchase into his office.

"Where do you want this?" she asked, looking around.

"Just drop it anywhere," he answered, unknowingly making her laugh. He went back to the car, and continued unloading until all of the boxes were in the house. Then he and Cam spent the day turning the room into a useable office, and were surprised to see time slipping away.

"Matt and Kiri will be here soon," Cam said, cleaning pieces of Styrofoam from the floor. "I need to start dinner."

"We're still going out, aren't we?" Evan asked.

"If that's what you want."

He studied her. "I can't order you to go, since it's after work. Of course I could pay you overtime."

"No man has ever paid for my company before," she mused. "Do I have to do anything special, like...?" She stopped. Evan was looking at her strangely.

"It was a joke," she muttered, frowning. "I was trying to think of something witty."

"Yeah." He rolled his eyes and moved past her. She threw a grape, hitting him on the back of the head, then ducked out the kitchen door, laughing. He followed her with a glass of water, and chased her around to the front of the house.

Cam was quick and ran to the front porch then into the house, locking herself in the bathroom. Evan positioned himself just outside the door and told her that she would have to come out sometime, and when she did, he was ready.

She told him to go away, that if he so much as got one drop of water on the floor she would kill him in his sleep, but he reminded her that they slept in separate houses and he had a lock on his bedroom door.

"I can pick it."

"Not if you never come out of there," Evan reminded her. He said that dinner would probably burn, but he wasn't moving from the door.

"I haven't put dinner in the oven yet, silly."

"Oh, then I guess you're breaking your contract with us. You're fired."

"Fine."

"Fine. Come out."

"No."

"Fine."

"Fine."

Evan waited a few more minutes then heard a slight rustling. He almost laughed aloud, but stifled it. Sneaking out of the house, he stood underneath the bathroom window, and waited as she slipped out...and fell on top of him. Evan was ready, and wrapped her in a bear hug so she couldn't move, then tipped the glass...She closed her eyes tight, expecting a splash...and he couldn't do it.

He held on to her, watching in amusement as she flinched, waiting, then her eyes opened, one at a time as she realized he wasn't going to pour the water on her. Evan burst into laughter and threw the cup away into the yard.

"Don't you leave that on the ground," Cam scolded.

"I can't believe you're nagging me when I just spared your life," Evan retorted.

"It's my nature." She was still tightly in his embrace but not fighting him. His laughter rang in her ear and she could feel his breath on her neck. She was nearly faint with the closeness of him.

He too was overwhelmed with the feel and scent of her, and his instinct was to kiss her neck, but she had not given him any indication she was receptive and he didn't wish to make a fool of himself. If he did kiss her, he wanted it to be a mutual agreement; Evan had to know she desired him too.

"If I let go, you're not going to do anything crazy like go after me with the hose, are you?" he asked.

"As God is my witness," she promised as Cam leaned into his embrace, drinking in the feel and smell of him.

"I trust you," Evan said, his lips brushing against her hair.

Neither let go until a car door slammed, startling both of them. Sydney had gathered the rest of the group and brought them home.

"Hey, Evan!" Matt called, and ran to his brother. He looked at them curiously, with disapproval. "Was she trying to escape?"

Evan released her and stood with his hands on his hips. "I caught her in time."

"You fired me," Cam reminded him. "I was free to go."

"He fired you?" exclaimed Sydney. "For what?"

Cam shrugged. "Well, Sydney you know how he is. I had to lock myself in the bathroom because he was after me."

Sydney gasped. "Again? Cam!" She gave Evan a murderous look, and put her arm around Cam. "This has to stop. She's an employee, not your...plaything!"

Evan started to protest, but Sydney stopped him. "I've had quite enough. Come on, Cam, let's get you cleaned up, and feed the good brothers." She pushed her protesting sister toward the house.

Keith shook his head in disgust. "I never thought I would see the day that I would know you as anything less than perfect...but now..." He shook his head sadly and walked away.

Kiri sniffed and followed.

Evan waited for Matt. "So? You going too?"

"Not yet, I wanted to tell you that I'm ready to get my temps. I'll have my license in a week or two and I need a car."

"Really? I'll bring it with me at Thanksgiving."

Matt brightened. "You have something already?"

"Yep. Have for a long time. I wanted it to be a surprise." Evan and Matt walked toward the house.

Matt was elated, and said so, but his eyes were still doubtful.

"What, Matt? I said I have a car for you."

Matt looked bothered. "Just now, with Cam, you're not really...doing anything with her are you?"

"We're very good friends. I like her immensely, and she made me feel more welcome here than you or Keith." He stood still, his arms crossed.

"Cam's like a mom to me, Evan." Matt shuffled his feet and bit his lip. "I want you guys to get along, well I want you guys to marry someday so I'll have like a mom, but I don't want to leave here."

"Matt, I gave you my word. You're more important to me than anything, you know that."

He sniffed and nodded. "But Evan, guys sometimes do...things. And you and me, and Keith, this is all new for us, and we might...go a little too far."

Evan stared at his brother. "Are you talking about me, or you and Kiri?"

Matt's face registered shock. "No! I mean, no, Kiri and I we wouldn't...but you're like a man, and Cam's so there for you."

"Matt, remember when you were growing up and said that you wanted to be just like me?" Evan waited while Matt nodded. "I made sure every day, that I was exactly what you should be, your role model. Not because I was so perfect, but because I had to, for you."

"Nothing's changed, Matt. I won't do anything wrong or immoral just because I feel like it. And I expect the same from you."

"So what were you and Cam doing?" Matt asked, puzzled. "And why did Sydney say all that?"

Evan laughed. "That, son, is a long story." He told Matt while they walked to the house.

♥

"He's coming in the door now," Sydney said, ready and waiting.

"Syd, if you get water all over the kitchen you're cleaning it up!" Cam hissed, from the other side of the door.

"Shh!" Sydney raised her arm. The door opened. "Take that you fiend!" Sydney exclaimed, throwing the water.

"Hey!" Matt cried.

"Matt! Where's Evan?" Cam gasped.

Evan walked in the door. "I stopped to get the glass I left in the yard."

Sydney slapped her cheek. "Matt, I'm sorry! We were aiming for your brother." She found a towel and gave it to him.

Evan laughed and slapped his brother on the back. "Thanks, Matt, for suffering the wrath of Sydney."

Sydney laughed. "I almost had you, for last night! Oh, Matt. You are so wet."

Keith led his young brother away while the rest of them cleaned the water. Cam started dinner, a stew with homemade bread.

"That should do for tonight," she said, and went about her work as Evan and Sydney went to the piano to work on the songs. Matt changed, then he and Kiri worked on homework, and Keith went to find Sydney. Cam took a moment to give thanks for this happy domestic scene, the makeshift family that they had become in the last few months. How she wished her father could join them, he would have loved Matt and Keith, sons he never had. And Evan. Dad would have been so amused that I'm now friends with my favorite musician after listening every day to his records, whether he wanted to or not. I miss you dad. But I'm going to make you so proud of me, and I promise to care for our family the same way you would. And my new family too, she laughed to herself.

Evan came in the kitchen to get a drink. "So what's your choice of restaurants tonight?"

"I'm not particular, so long as I don't have to cook."

"I need something more specific. You know this area better than me." Evan drank deeply of the water, wiping his chin as he did.

"We had steak yesterday. How about something lighter? Pasta?" She gave him the towel, warning him not to use his shirtsleeve.

He raised his eyebrows. "Yes, mother. What's your movie preference?"

"My sisters and I favor weepy romances."

"Oh, man I don't think so..." He made a face. "I'll decide the movie."

Cam smiled. "Do I have a say in the murder limit?"

"None at all."

Cam took the dishtowel and swatted at him. Evan spun and kicked it in mid air with his leg.

"See? Those movies are actually instructional. I never knew how to do that until Jackie Chan did it in one of his flicks." He tossed the towel back to Cam.

"I thought that looked more like Elvis," she laughed. "Maybe you'd rather stay home and have peanut butter and banana sandwiches."

He patted his stomach. "I've put on ten pounds since I got here. I'll have to spend the rest of the month working it off."

Cam agreed. "You do look healthier since you arrived. Plan on the same treatment when you come for Thanksgiving. I can't stand to see you so thin."

"It's all muscle."

"Yeah, and I sing like an angel. Dinner's ready. Go get the others."

He chuckled and called the rest of them to dinner. While Cam fed her family, he made a few phone calls, watching the rest enjoy their meals, chattering happily.

"I'm taking Sydney out next weekend with my first paycheck," Keith said. "I'm going to spend it all on her."

"You will not," Sydney protested. "I don't need anything but you."

Keith sighed lovingly. "When we make all that money from our songs, I'm going to buy you diamonds."

"One diamond will be fine," she said, her eyes giving him an invitation. "I want one I'll keep forever."

"I'm gagging," Kiri exclaimed. "You are so romance channel, Sydney. Like you have to rub it in our faces that you're in love!"

"I am! I've never felt this way before," Sydney proclaimed. "Tell them, Keith."

"Yes, dear." He grinned at the rest. "She and I are in love, and it's the most wonderful, exciting..."

"Whatever," Kiri snapped, rolling her eyes. "But if you want to talk wonderful, look at my Matt. He makes all the other guys at school look like little boys." She wrapped her arms around him for emphasis.

Sydney was not about to be outdone. "Maybe, but Keith makes we weak and breathless with his kisses."

Kiri fired back, "Yeah well, Matt is so totally awesome, if I wasn't such a moral person, I'd..."

"Kiri!" Cam scolded. "That's enough."

"Wait," said Matt. "Tell me, Kiri. I want to know."

Cam gave him a stern look. "Don't even think about it, son. I may love you like a mother, but I will also punish you like one."

"You wouldn't," Kiri scoffed.

"Oh, wouldn't I?" Cam stood and narrowed her eyes. "I may look meek and mild, Matthew, but touch my sister and I'll rip you in half."

Matt looked at Keith in wonder. "Does she threaten you like this?"

Keith grinned. "She doesn't have to. I'm already afraid of her."

"Good answer," said Cam, giving Keith a warning look, just in case.

"You're just jealous, Cam," Kiri spooned stew into her mouth.

"Yes, I am," admitted Cam. "I want a sixteen-year-old of my own."

Kiri made a face. "You know what I mean. If you'd fix yourself up some..."

"I did, this last weekend, remember?"

"More, Cam." Kiri bit her bread. "You might get a date if you looked more like a woman. Men aren't impressed by brains."

"What century are you living in?" snapped Cam.

"I'm just trying to help!" Kiri pushed her plate away and crossed her arms.

"She doesn't need any help, she's perfect the way she is," said Evan, setting his cell phone on the counter. "Are you ready, Cam?"

She nodded, stepping away from the table. "Sydney, will you put the leftovers away for me? And Kiri, thanks for doing the dishes."

"Where are you going?" Kiri asked.

"We have a date," Evan replied. "I'm going to take this beautiful, irresistible woman out to dinner and a movie. And maybe later I'll kiss her until she's weak and breathless."

He winked at Cam, and they left, their families staring after them.

"That'll give them something to talk about," Evan laughed as he opened Cam's car door. "Why do you let your sisters treat you like that?"

"They don't mean to hurt me," she assured him. "It's just the way they are."

"I don't like it at all," Evan said. "You're like Cinderella."

"I guess that makes you a prince," Cam mused. "Better get me home by midnight."

"Cam, you are the wittiest woman I know," Evan said fondly.

"It's my only hope," she confided.

♥

Dinner was great, barely interrupted thanks to a cozy booth at the restaurant, and the theater was even better. No one could see Evan in the dark so Cam was able to enjoy him, if not the movie. True to his word, he chose an action-adventure flick, and the body count started during the opening credits. By the time the third batch of blood splattered the screen, Cam had her face buried in Evan's clothing. He never protested, instead he claimed she should keep her eyes shut, even when the carnage scenes ended.

"You're playing me," Cam accused.

He shrugged. "Maybe, but you'll never know." Cam hit him on the chest with her hand.

"Violence generates more violence," he said with a sigh.

Cam laughed and raised her head just in time to see another body blown apart. "Ev—an!" she wailed.

"I tried to tell you." He put his arm around her head and buried it in his shirt again. "Do you want to leave?"

"No, I'm having fun," she mumbled into his clothing. He laughed aloud, and other patrons warned him to be quiet.

"Watch us get kicked out of here," Cam groaned.

"They won't, I'm a paying customer."

"Shh!" The man behind them moved to a different seat.

Cam looked up at Evan. "This could ruin your reputation."

"I can see it now; Cat Randolph and her investigative reporters do an in-depth show about Evan Worthy's behavior at movies."

Cam stood and pulled at Evan. "We're leaving now, before we're asked to go. Come on, you bad boy."

"You're so bossy. Matt tried to warn me, you know."

A popcorn box flew past Evan's head. He ducked and turned to see where it came from. Cam pushed him down the aisle to the exit, mumbling apologies to the angry patrons.

Outside, Evan fumbled in his pockets for the keys to his car, and then asked Cam if she wanted to go to Wal-Mart for a minute.

"Did you know they're sponsoring the Christmas tour this year?" he asked. "I'm doing an ad for them too, a holiday thing. We tape it next week."

"I wish I could watch," Cam said wistfully. "It's so interesting to see how things are made. Like your songs. You took a simple tune and turned it into a complex arrangement."

"Like giving birth to a song," he agreed. "That's the best part, adding to it, layer upon layer of music. I never get tired of creating."

They drove to Wal-Mart where he bought some toiletries for himself and supplies for the office. Cam made him look at robes and slippers but he claimed he had a perfectly good set at home and didn't need any. While shopping they were followed through the store by curious onlookers, and later stopped outside by people asking for his autograph.

"Pen?" Evan said to Cam. She smiled and produced a pen and paper. He talked to the group for a while, and then Cam led him away while he said his good-byes.

"I can see that going anywhere with you is going to be a struggle," she observed. "Let's go home where we can relax. You're leaving tomorrow, back into your high-pressure life. I want you to enjoy this last night."

"I am," he assured her. "I haven't had this much fun in as long as I can remember. I don't want this night to end."

She brushed at his shirt and straightened the collar. "Then I've done what I vowed to do, to make you comfortable in your new home and given you a place to enjoy."

"You have. My brothers haven't."

"They will, Evan. It's all still new to them."

He drove to his house, followed by a couple of cars, but said nothing to Cam. Next visit he would look into tighter security and

an electronic motor for the gate, but for now, he simply stopped his car and closed the gate by hand.

"Evan, I want to talk to you about security," Cam said, remembering the woman in the store earlier. "I'm concerned about Matt and Keith, and I guess you too, but what do I do? You may not have noticed, but we were followed on the way home just now. All we have is a fence and a gate. Anyone could drive in here and knock on the door."

"I know," Evan said as he parked the car. "I should talk to Matt and Keith about it, since they're the ones who live here. I know Matt has youth group meet over here in the barn, and they want to be as normal as possible, but if I don't do something, they'll have visitors at all hours."

"And what about their safety?" Cam asked. "What if some lunatic wants to hurt you or them?"

"I'll do something when I come back," Evan said. "Do you want to stay outside for a while?"

She nodded. "It's so beautiful tonight. I love these fall evenings, but I don't get outside much."

"Me either. It's peaceful here."

Cam silently agreed. They walked slowly around the property, and ended up at the barn. "I forgot, Evan. Matt's group has claimed the den in the barn as their meeting place, and they decorated it. I wanted to show you, but don't be shocked. There's not one picture of you."

He smiled. "I see enough of my face. I want to see who they listen to now." Evan rolled the barn door open and the smell of manure filled their nostrils.

"Lovely," remarked Cam, wrinkling her nose.

He stood behind her, his hands on his hips. "Whew. Does the den smell like this?" He soon found out it had the same smell, though not as strong. Cam let him look over the room, telling her what he knew about the groups on the wall. He had toured with almost all of them at one time or another. They spent a good amount of time looking at posters, talking about Matt and the youth, and Evan was satisfied his brother had good friends and was being taught properly.

"He's a wonderful kid, Evan," Cam said. "And I'm not just saying that, I mean he's an example for all the others. He listens carefully when anyone talks to him; he truly cares about his friends. He's always the first to volunteer, and I never have to ask him twice to do anything. Evan, he's like a sponge, a love hungry sponge. I know you did your best, an excellent job of raising him. But Matt needs constant approval, reassurance. He wants to know I care and that he is important to me, and he truly is. He's literally stolen my heart."

"You don't know what that means to me, to hear you say that," Evan replied. "Matt and Keith, they're my life. It hasn't been easy raising them when I was almost a kid myself, but I had no choice. I gave my life for them, in a figurative way and I don't regret it. Now, I'm kind of lost."

"You'll adjust," Cam promised.

"I won't ever get used to being alone. I haven't ever been without my brothers and it's ripping me apart. I need someone with me."

"It's time, Evan for you to think of yourself," Cam said quietly. "What do you want? Your brothers are happy; they've found love, now what about you?"

"I don't know." He moved to the ladder. "I want to see the loft."

She felt he was avoiding the subject but followed him, and climbed the ladder, then waited for him at the top. He had opened his soul to her many times this weekend, and she tried to be honest, the best friend she could be to him, but what she really felt went much deeper. She wanted to mend his hurting heart, to fill the void left by his brothers' departure, to be his comfort, his companion, his...love. He had as big a need for love as Matt did though he was only beginning to realize it.

The loft wasn't any less fragrant than the lower level of the barn and it was empty save one bale of hay, and a mouse that ran across Cam's foot as she stepped on the wooden floor.

"Ohmygosh!" she gasped, and then laughed as she realized what had startled her. "Evan, we have a boarder."

He reached the top of the ladder and watched as the mouse scampered away. "Looks like we need a barn cat. Think you can get one?"

She smiled. "I'll try but you know how rare it is for people to give away cats."

"You're too funny, Cam," he said dryly, moving around the large room. He stopped and turned toward her. "What's that short for, anyway—Cam?"

"Nothing," she said quickly. "Just Cam, that's all."

"Uh, huh." He didn't believe her for a moment. "I guess Camilla."

"No."

"Chameleon?"

"Very funny."

"Cameron?"

"No, quit!" Cam headed for the ladder. He caught up and stood in front of her.

"Camellia."

"Evan!" She tried to move past him.

"That's it, Camellia." He looked pleased with himself. Cam scowled. "Like a flower."

"No fair, I don't tease you about your name."

He laughed. "Beers? What can you say that hasn't already been said?"

She thought for a moment, but couldn't produce anything worthwhile. "You win, Mr. Beers, since I'm not a drinking woman and I've never had a beer."

Both him and her burst into laughter at her pun.

"I did not mean that!" Cam put her hand over her mouth, blushing brilliantly, appalled that she said something so suggestive to the man she considered the epitome of Godliness. To her horror, he seemed pleased, and then suddenly he was so close to her there was no space between them.

What is he doing? Cam felt faint. She stepped back, hoping the hole in the floor was not directly behind her. He...he's going to kiss me, Cam realized, her heart racing. Me! Not some glamorous model, not another singer, just plain old me, who can't even put on makeup without help. Evan, please, she pleaded silently as she backed away, don't do this to me...tomorrow you'll be sorry, you'll think you were carried away, and my heart will break into pieces. She ran into a beam and was stuck in place between it and Evan. God, please, prayed Cam, make him stop if he doesn't mean it. I want him so much and if he is only being carried away by emotion I would rather be hurt a little now, then get my hopes up and be crushed. He was gazing into her eyes. Cam closed hers and waited.

♥

It was purely on impulse that he reached for her, without thought, but he was unprepared for the expression of shock and the way she backed away from him. What am I doing? She's trying to get away, she doesn't want me, and she's looking at me as if I was some kind of beast! What was I thinking, she's an employee and she could sue me, it's happened to others. I thought she and I were growing close, and my feelings for her are so much more than friendship. But if she felt the same, she would certainly be more receptive, not like this at all, Evan despaired. She's trying to escape! He was so close, she could go no further, and her eyes closed, like she couldn't stand to bear what was to happen next...Evan stopped and stepped away.

"Cam, I'm so sorry...I got carried away." He stuck his hands in his pant pockets.

She winced and he could tell she was trying to control her emotions. "It's okay, Evan, I understand..."

"No, Cam, please, I had no right. But I can explain, you make me feel so..."

"Evan, you don't have to explain." She turned abruptly and went to the ladder, climbing down ahead of him. He ran his hand over his hair and swung his arms in frustration. What am I, some kind of freak who can't control himself? I wanted to kiss her more than anything in my life and I almost did even though she didn't want me. That makes me depraved, some kind of pervert. I overstepped my bounds and I hurt her. Not because I wanted to use her, I feel more for her than I want to, and I was hoping...But she doesn't feel the same. The look in her eyes wasn't love, it was fear. I caused that. And nothing I say will make it better. He realized she was gone and hurried after her, but she was already out of the barn and halfway to the house.

♥

This hurts worse than I expected, Cam thought with more logic than she felt at the moment. All she wanted was to be far away, where she could not embarrass herself any longer. What he must think of her now, Cam despaired. I made a fool of myself over him, telling him how much I loved him and his songs, finding ways to be near him, hoping that someone like him would want a nobody like me. Moreover, God confirmed what she suspected, that he didn't really care for her, he was only following his manly urges. I am such an idiot! He needs so much more than I can give him, and he surely doesn't want to be stuck here in this little town with a woman who can't sing if her life depended on it.

She threw open the front door of the house and ran for her purse. I need to get out of here before he returns and I have to humiliate myself again. Oh, Evan...Cam felt the sting of tears. I'm such a fool. She grabbed her purse and keys, racing to the door.

♥

He was on the porch when he heard the kitchen door close, but she was in her car and backing out of the driveway before he caught her. Evan called out to her, but she either didn't hear or chose to ignore him in her haste to leave. He was left standing in the driveway watching her throw open the gate and leave without closing it, so Evan walked slowly to the end of the driveway and shut it. Oh, God, this hurts, Evan prayed. I can't believe I made a fool out of myself, just when things were so good between us. I was so stupid. She made me laugh; she made me feel loved, as if I was somebody special. And I ruined it by pushing her for something she didn't want. He couldn't blame her, why would Cam want a man she had to share with half the world when she could have someone who is home every night?

He walked slowly back to the house, deciding to pack and be gone before she arrived the next morning. He'd have to apologize sometime, try to salvage the friendship they had formed for his brothers' sake, but tonight, he needed to be alone, to pray, and seek God's guidance. His life was so full of other pressures and stress; now he had added to that, at Cam's expense. Could she forgive him? He certainly hoped she would.

♥

Matt was in the kitchen rummaging for a snack. "Boy, Evan, she made mincemeat out of you!"

"Since when is it your business?" Evan snapped.

Matt looked puzzled. "I didn't know it upset you so much. Keith said you got the best of her, though. Is she still bothering you or something?"

"How would Keith know? What did Cam tell him?" Evan balled his hands into fists.

Now Matt was confounded. "Cam? Why? We didn't even see her tonight." He scratched his head. "What are you talking about, Evan?"

"Nothing!" Evan slapped his car keys on the table and stomped off to his room.

"Evan!" Matt called. "What's wrong?"

Keith entered the kitchen with Sydney. "What's going on, Matt?"

"Heck if I know. Evan's going ballistic and Cam's gone." Matt bit into a sandwich. "I thought they were going to kiss and everything tonight."

Sydney and Keith exchanged glances. Matt moved past them into the family room and turned on the television.

"Maybe I'd better talk to him," Keith said.

Sydney agreed. "I'm going home and see to Cam. Something must have happened between them." She found her belongings and kissed Keith, meaning to hurry out the door, but he was so tender, and she was so in love...It was quite a while before either of them completed their mission.

♥

"About time you got home!" Kiri exclaimed, pulling at her sister. "So? Tell me all about it. Did he kiss you? Are you in love now?"

Cam calmly set her purse and keys on the kitchen counter. "As if I would tell you. Goodnight Kiri."

"Wait! Are you mad at me for teasing you at supper?" Kiri looked hurt. "I didn't mean it, Cam. You know I love you."

"I do, Kiri." Cam hugged her sister briefly. "But I don't feel like talking tonight." She went to her room and closed the door, finally giving in to the tears that threatened all the way home. If not for her silly crush on him, the singer, she wouldn't have fallen for Evan, the man. Or was it the other way around? Had she been falling for Evan, her friend and had it intensified when she found out whom he really was? Maybe it was the whole package. She didn't know, and it didn't much matter, since he wasn't attracted to her. Friendship was all he wanted, and she was stupid to hope for otherwise. Who would want someone like her anyway, a small town girl with a crush on a man who was so far out of her league she looked like a country bumpkin next to him. I must have seemed so stupid to him...trying so hard to make him feel wanted, even if his brother's were not interested in his company. He probably thought I was only trying to impress him.

God, Cam prayed, he's so lonely, so lost without his brothers. Who will care for him, help his hurting heart, and be there for him? He's alone, he said so, and he needs love. Send him someone who can fill the void in his life, please Lord. I wanted it to be me...and I'll still take care of him until he doesn't need me...I mean it. She undressed slowly and laid on her bed for what seemed hours, sleep eluding her. By the time she finally felt drowsy, she had decided to get past her feelings for Evan and do what she was paid to do, and if it meant taking care of him also, that's what would happen. He needed care, and Cam was not one to run from her duty. She would be at his house, on time and ready to work no matter how she felt, and she would remain his close friend for as long as he wanted. Her heart would heal eventually, but she couldn't live with herself if she hurt him.

♥

Evan stole out of the house during the night, found the toll road and drove to the South Bend Regional Airport. There he waited alone for the next flight with connections to Nashville. The first flight was at two-thirty in the morning, and he picked up another plane in Cincinnati, finally arriving home at his apartment at six. He was exhausted, discouraged, and badly in need of a shower, so he caught a taxi, went to his quiet, lonely apartment, and collapsed.

Mitch woke him later, wondering why he wasn't at rehearsal for the tour. Evan drowsily looked at the clock, sighed and said he was on his way, not telling Mitch anything about last night, though he knew his manager was waiting anxiously to hear. Feeling lightheaded from lack of sleep and so dispirited he wanted to quit the tour, Evan nonetheless reminded himself that he was a professional and had never before shirked his duty to his family, his fans or his company, and he wasn't about to start now. Work had always been his salvation, keeping him from thinking about the hard questions in his life, so this day would pass easily. Or so he thought. But hours later, after forgetting cues, hitting sour notes and completely missing verses, he stopped for the day, apologizing for his "illness." The others were concerned; this was not the Evan Worthy they knew, but sickness happened to everyone at one time or another, so they were forgiving. The other groups stayed to rehearse while Evan left the building, intending to go home. However, Mitch was right behind him and stopped Evan before he was able to make an escape.

"Hey, Buddy, we have some negotiations with André De Nast tonight. In about an hour, really. Let's get something to eat and talk strategy."

It was the last thing Evan wanted, to be forced into a discussion with Mitch, but he was intent on buying the studio, so he and his manager went to a music row restaurant to talk. They ate sandwiches and fries, and then Mitch pushed his plate aside and looked Evan in the eye.

"How long are you going to sulk before you tell me what happened last night?" Mitch asked.

Evan looked away. "Nothing happened. It's not important anyway."

"Oh, is that so?" Mitch answered, not convinced. "Then how do you explain your lousy stinking performance today? You never get rattled, and my friend, you were rattled."

"So? Everyone has bad days."

Mitch's eyes softened. "Come on Evan. You're human; at least that's the rumor. You keep everything to yourself, thinking it's such a big fault that you need counsel. I've been your friend for years and most all of the personal stuff I know about you I learned from your brothers."

"I can't. I appreciate your concern..."

"Baloney, pal. I'm your only bet for company tonight and you're stuck with me anyway during this meeting at Andre's. So fess up, Ev. Spill it."

Mitch crossed his arms and sat back on his seat. Evan almost laughed at his manager's determined expression. He sighed and leaned forward, sitting on his hands.

"She didn't want me."

"How do you know?"

"I tried to kiss her and she practically ran away."

Mitch whistled. "Bummer. Did you talk to her about it?"

Evan made a face. "What would I say? Sorry I repulsed you when I tried to kiss you? I was hoping she would give me some kind of sign she liked me and suddenly it was the right time...and man, Mitch. You'd think I was a monster from the look on her face."

"I find it hard to believe any woman would turn you down, Evan. There has to be a reason."

Evan shrugged but his anger was evident. "I pushed her, Mitch. Tried to make something happen that she didn't want. She is so...compassionate, witty, smart, and she made me feel like I never felt before, even before we actually met. Cam is what I would be looking for if I were looking, which I'm not because I have no room in my life for a woman..."

Mitch waved his hand in front of Evan's face. "Yo, son, you're rambling. Let's take this slowly. What did she do that made you feel like you might have a chance?"

Evan didn't want to discuss this highly personal issue, but Mitch's face was set, and he certainly wouldn't allow his friend any slack. Evan looked at the table as he spoke.

"She made me feel welcome in my home. You should have seen her, Mitch when she first saw me." He laughed. "The look on her face...it was priceless. She was so overwhelmed she knocked a chair to the floor, and then she fed me pie and took me on a tour of the house. She left without a word, so I could spend time with my brothers and Sunday she helped me to understand why they didn't want me around."

Evan tore the paper napkin into pieces and continued. "I was so...bummed that my brothers ignored me, but she made them spend time with me...they're afraid of her, I think...and then she kept me company, and we fell into the river, and we went to this really awful movie..." His voice trailed.

"But what made you think she was attracted to you—I mean was there signs that you thought meant you had something with her?"

Evan rubbed his hair with his hand. "She loves my music; you know she has a major thing for me, the singer. When she talked with me online, I loved to tease and made her defend me. Then when we met, and she got used to being around me she relaxed and I thought she was getting to like me for real."

"So far I know she loves your music. But what did she do that made you think she might want to get closer to you?"

Evan thought for a moment. "She laughed at my jokes. Told me the truth, even when it hurt. Listened to me. Stuff like that. I just mistook her caring nature for something more."

"Maybe you're just rushing things, Evan. It's a bad time for you, losing your brothers and trying to do the CD, going on tour. Maybe she knows that and doesn't want to burden you with a relationship."

"Oh, come on, Mitch. I may not know much about women, but I know they all want a relationship no matter what the circumstances." Evan pulled money out for the check. "Cam's no different. She thinks no one would have her; I think she said that maybe four times. I told her it's not true, but she never believed me. Then when I went to kiss her, she looked so upset I felt like I had molested her. If she wanted me, she would have melted into my arms."

"Maybe she thought you weren't serious."

Evan didn't know, and it didn't matter. Whatever might have happened between them, it was over, and he was left to pick up the pieces and go on. He would mend their friendship, find a way to make Cam forgive him, and go on with his life as he should have in the first place. For his brothers' sake. Cam needed someone better than him, someone who could be with her, someone who wasn't such a sorry excuse for a man. He had his career, it was his life, and if he worked hard enough, he'd barely notice the long lonely nights, the endless hours of aching need for human companionship. He'd get over her; she was but a small diversion. He just didn't know how, at this very moment.

♥

CHAPTER 29

"Evan's gone."

Matt said it as a simple statement, but the words rang in Cam's ears, repeating like an echo. Though stricken, she went through the motions, cracking eggs, scrambling, frying, and making toast. Just like a normal day. When both Matt and Keith left, she went about cleaning the kitchen, making beds, doing laundry, and starting supper for later. She did fine, and managed to concentrate only on the task at hand, so long as she kept busy and didn't listen to music. But about two in the afternoon, just when she was about to leave for the day, she went into Evan's room with fresh sheets ...and found his ratty old slipper half under the bed. He'll need that, Cam thought, wondering if she should send it to him in parcel post. She picked it up intending to find his Nashville address and mail it, but for some reason Cam couldn't let go of it long enough to find an address book. Tears threatened, but she refused to give in to them. She had resolved to be merely an employee, so Cam took the slipper and clutched it to her chest as she drove home.

Sydney was leaving to get Keith from his job when Cam returned. "Cam, I missed you last night! I wanted to talk."

"You didn't get home until after midnight," Cam replied. "If you wanted to talk, why didn't you come home sooner?"

Sydney laughed lightly. "I had every intention of coming right home when you ran out of the house last night. I knew something happened between you and Evan. But when I went to kiss Keith good-bye..." Sydney sighed. "I forget everything when I'm in his arms."

Cam bit her lip to keep from snapping a reply about her forgetting everything anyway. She went to her room and put the slipper on her dresser, then began the chores she neglected over the weekend. Sydney and Keith returned a short while later, and so did Matt and Kiri, both hungry and wondering why Cam left dinner at the Beers' when all of them were here.

"I made it for Matt and Keith," Cam replied. "Why don't you all go there and eat?"

"Actually, we thought we'd keep you company," Sydney replied. "We don't spend enough time together."

Cam laughed shortly. "You want to spend time with me? Has hell frozen over?"

"Don't be silly," said Sydney. "You and I used to spend a lot of time together before Dad died. We went to Bible study at church every Wednesday. I miss that."

Cam crossed her arms and stared at her sister. "I don't know what you're up to, Sydney, but I'm not in the mood. Just take Matt and Kiri to Keith's and leave me alone for a day, please?"

Keith stepped forward. "We know you and Evan had some kind of problem last night. He's pretty upset; I've never seen him like this."

"He was pretty upset when he came home and wasn't wanted. Neither of you seemed to notice then. He was very hurt that you resented him returning to the house he bought and paid for, so you ungrateful brothers could live in comfort!" She was shouting by the time she finished. "And you know what? He's right to be hurt. I made excuses for both of you. I love you dearly, you know that, but Evan loves you with his life. Everything he does, he does for you. At the very least you could pretend to appreciate it!"

The rest of the group stood silent at Cam's outburst. She looked each one of them in the eye for emphasis and then plucked her car keys and purse from the counter. Where she was going, she didn't know, but she wouldn't stand here another minute. Gunning her car engine, she drove out of town and found herself on the same bypass that she was on in August, when she ran Evan's bus off the road. He's everywhere, in my thoughts and the places I go. She drove past South Bend and went to a metro park, then walked the paths for a couple hours until darkness fell, hoping to walk off her feelings for Evan, to purge herself of the hurt and anguish she felt. When she finally realized they would not go away just because she willed them to, Cam turned to the One she should have in the first place.

"Heavenly Father, I need help," she spoke to the wind. "I'm hurting from my own foolishness. I need you to take away the feelings I have for Evan, to bring my emotions back into balance. He's my employer, Lord, and I let things get out of hand, because I was so...attracted to him, not just because he's my favorite singer, but because he's the warmest, silliest, most wonderful man I've ever met, next to my father. I knew he wouldn't be interested in me, but I let my feelings lead me anyway, God, and I need you to help me do what is right. Evan has so much stress in his life; he doesn't need a woman pining after him, complicating everything. He knows that too, Lord, and thank you for stopping him before he did something he would regret last night. How I wish he had..." She let the thought go, it was unproductive. He doesn't want you, Cam. Face it. He's a great friend, and you must stay that way for Matt's sake, but forget any other feelings. She would eventually, she was sure. But not any time soon.

♥

Matt and Keith watched open-mouthed as Cam ran from the house.

"That's twice in twenty-four hours she's run like that," Matt commented. "What if she decides she doesn't want to work for us anymore? We won't get fed or driven anywhere and I'll miss her."

"Give her some time," Keith said. "Whatever happened between her and Evan must have shaken her up; she's usually pretty calm-natured."

Matt wasn't convinced she would stay with them. "She's really crazy about Evan. I think she loves him."

"I think there's definitely something going on," Keith agreed. "Evan wouldn't talk either last night; he just said he had to leave. I tried to get him to talk to Cam but he said he couldn't yet."

"Maybe it was just a lover's quarrel," Kiri said. "Like Matt and I have all the time. If they really like each other, they'll make up. I'm starving. Let's go to your house."

They agreed, there was nothing any of them could do now, so they might as well eat. Sydney drove them all to the Beers' and served dinner, laughing because she didn't know where any of the utensils or plates was kept. Matt helped her, and cleaned the kitchen afterward, thinking Cam would be proud of him, and maybe she'd want to stay because he was a good helper. He asked Sydney to drive him back to her house so he could talk to Cam, but she said that Keith wanted to work on their songs. Matt paced, calling Cam repeatedly, and finally left the other three behind and walked to her house. He had to know for himself that she would not leave; he needed her. Whom could he lean on beside her and Keith? Cam helped him with his schoolwork, and listened when he talked about his day, always smiling and telling him how proud she was of him. Evan had better not mess things up, Matt thought, growing angry as he walked. Things were perfect before he came and got Cam all upset. She was happy, I was happy and we had a home, with almost a mom. If Evan makes her leave, I'm going to knock his lights out. Matt stopped for a moment. That's what I'll do. I'm going to e-mail Evan and give him a piece of my mind. How dare he mess with Cam? Who did he think he was anyway? Matt resumed walking, and almost ran the rest of the way to Cam's.

♥

The door was unlocked, as it always was, so Matt simply walked inside and turned on the computer, bringing up his email screen. He sat for a moment, thinking about what he wanted to say to Evan, then, as inspiration struck, he typed furiously, putting all his feelings into words. Cam would be angry that he dared to cross Evan like this, but someone had to tell him that he was screwing up, and Matt knew it wouldn't be Cam; she was as protective of him as Matt was. So Matt, the self-appointed defender of Cam wrote a scathing letter to his brother, telling him how he messed everything up and not to bother coming home again. He really didn't mean the last part, but Matt wanted to give Evan a scare, enough that he wouldn't muddle with things again. Satisfied he had made his point Matt sent the missive and turned off the computer. It was well past dusk, and Cam was not yet home. Matt watched out the front window, willing her to return. Finally, lights shone in the drive and Cam parked the car. She stepped out, walking quickly in her always hurried step, to the house and almost jumped a foot when Matt threw open the door.

"Matt! What are you doing here?" she gasped, her hand at her throat.

He closed the door and followed her into the room. "I was worried about you, Cam. You never get mad. Are you going to quit now?"

Cam pulled Matt into her arms and hugged him. "Of course not. You mean the world to me. I'm staying as long as you need me, I promise."

"Well, Evan made you mad and I thought you wouldn't want to be around us anymore." He stayed still, drinking in her affection.

"Evan didn't make me mad, Matt. I was stupid, and it's my own fault. But that doesn't change a thing between you and me."

"No?"

"Not at all." She let go of him and found him some pie, heating it and placing ice cream on top. Then she sat next to him at the table. "Your brother is a wonderful man, the best, Matt. He has so much pressure on him between his career and worrying about you and Keith. He doesn't need any more, especially from us."

Matt cringed. He sent that e-mail...

"Last night, Evan and I did have a disagreement, but it wasn't his fault. I overstepped my bounds as his employee, and I shouldn't have. Now he's probably worried about hurting my feelings and I'll have to talk to him and tell him I'm okay."

"I thought he did something to hurt you," Matt worried.

"No, honey, it was me. Evan is a good man, just as he should be. We need to give him love and support and help, instead of cause him more stress."

Matt didn't know whether to tell her about the e-mail, but in the end, he decided not to, because she might be mad at him, and he was still not convinced she would stay, even with her promise. He shared pie with her, told her about his day at school, and then she drove him home, telling him how pleased she was that he had cleaned the kitchen after dinner.

"I was afraid you'd be mad if we left it a mess," Matt said. "Kiri even helped."

"I must have really scared you," laughed Cam. "Are you ready to go home, Kiri?" She called as she entered the house.

"She's in the barn," Sydney said, "doing her homework."

"I'll get her," offered Matt. "She's going to be mad that I left and I don't want you to hear her yell at me."

Cam smiled. He was right; she would let him have it. But then they would make up five minutes later like they always did. She didn't want to be present for that either.

Sydney asked Cam to listen to a song she and Keith had just written tonight, so she went with her sister to the piano room. It was very beautiful, a slow, haunting melody. Keith showed Cam the words that they were attempting to fit with the tune, something he had written a while back.

"I have so many, most of them saved by Matt." Keith showed Cam the pile of scrap paper that was his poems. "He kept them for me in a box, and I was surprised to find so many. Years worth." Keith shook his head in wonder.

"Has Evan seen these?" Cam asked. "He's very interested in what you write."

"No, I doubt he has time to read all this," Keith said. "I'll just show him the ones we turn into songs."

Cam listened for a while, and then Kiri and Matt returned, both of their faces flushed. She hoped it was in anger and not passion. They were so young, in love, experiencing new things...I'd better talk to Kiri, Cam decided. She knows the rules, but it won't hurt to remind her. It would kill me if she and Matt became intimate at their young age, and ruined both their lives. Not having parents was no excuse to cross lines, they were still responsible before God for their behavior and Cam intended to keep them innocent as long as possible. Cam and Evan would be their example.

"I'm ready to go home," Kiri said sullenly. "Matt can see what it's like to have your girlfriend leave without telling."

"I had a good reason," Matt explained. "I told you I wanted to go Kiri, and you said you wouldn't walk that far."

She sniffed and walked toward the door. Matt started to follow, but Cam signaled for him to stop. "Let her go, Matt, I'm sure you're tired anyway. Oh, and I forgot, Matt you had a phone call from ...what was that name...Patti something." Cam winked at Matt.

Kiri spun around and claimed Matt, pulling him out the door with her. "She better not try to move in on my boyfriend! Cause I'm not going to give him up and I'm not going to give him any reason to dump me for her!" Matt grinned at Cam as he went outside.

Cam would need to wait a few more minutes while they made up, so she sat at the computer and logged on to check her e-mail. There was nothing interesting, but she did want Evan to know she had his slipper. She typed in his e-mail address, her heart skipping a beat as she remembered last night. How she wished he had kissed her anyway. I wish I had the memory of his kiss today, with him gone. Even if he regretted it, I would have still kissed him...and maybe when he did kiss me he would have suddenly realized that he did care for me...What a stupid thought. He proved he didn't feel the same—he stopped, apologized, said he was carried away. What more did she need to hear? That he only liked her as a friend? She was glad they didn't speak again, he would have given her the "let's be friends" speech and she might have cried in front of him. This was better. They could re-establish their roles as employer and employee online, and maybe when he returned things would be normal again. Cam hoped by then the pain in her heart would abate, and she could function around him without losing her head. He would return, she hoped. If she hadn't driven him away for good.

♥

It was late by the time Evan returned home after meeting with André De Nast at Barn Stable. His old friend wanted Evan to be the next owner of the studio, and he was willing to let it go for a fair price, but his son was appalled that his father could dispose of such a valuable property without a bidding war. He insisted on meeting with Mitch and Evan, and grilled them about their plans for the building. He tried to make them understand that though his father wanted Evan to have the studio, other artists were just as anxious to acquire the business and he intended to entertain all offers. Mitch, who had dealt with the son for years, knew that he had no legal say in the sale of the building, but for Andre's sake, he did not want to start an argument or embarrass Evan's friend. He let the son work negotiations that were fair to all of them, even giving André a silent interest in Evan's future studio so he would have a steady income after he sold the business. It took long hours to work out the details, but late in the evening, they finally came to agreeable terms, and Evan was the co-owner of a recording studio.

When he arrived home, he was so exhausted he almost crawled to bed, but first he wanted to check e-mail. He saw an entry from Cam, but ignored it for now, too tired to be worked up or angry. Instead, he opened the letter from Matt, and stared at the screen, stunned. His brother told him that Cam was so angry she yelled, and then left them, and Matt didn't know if she was even coming back. He blamed Evan, saying that things were going so well before he came to visit and ruined everything, including Cam. Matt told him not to return, that they didn't need his interference, and things were better without him.

Evan sat heavily on the bed. Oh, God. What a mess I've created. Cam is angry with me, and I don't blame her. How could I almost force myself on her? My brother said I've ruined everything for him. All I wanted was to make him happy and I blew it. He put his head in his hands, feeling the sting of tears. I'm losing everything I love...I'm not wanted...not wanted. His heart felt like lead in his chest. Forgive me, Matt. I won't come home anymore. I'll get Cam to stay, for you and I'll stay away so you can enjoy your new life. It's the most I can do for almost causing her to leave. But I won't go back.

He fell onto his bed, laying his arm over his eyes, willing himself to fall asleep, to be lost to darkness so he wouldn't have to feel anymore, then turned to the wall and closed his eyes, letting his body drift away. He forgot to turn off the computer; still opened to Matt's letter. He didn't see Cam go online, or the instant messages she sent him when she found him on also. He fell asleep, and after a while, the server turned off from lack of activity.

♥

CHAPTER 30

Evan made it through the next week by sheer determination, ignoring his aching heart, his seared emotions. He put his all into rehearsals for the Christmas tour, arriving early and staying late, and then afterward he worked with Mitch on plans for the recording studio. Mitch took pity on him and arranged for them to meet at his house so that Gloria could feed Evan, and even insisted he spend some nights sleeping in their spare bedroom. Evan was a considerate guest, if not good company. He found little to enjoy right now, and didn't want to discuss his feelings with anyone, especially Cam or his brothers. They were all angry with him and he thought it best to let things cool off for a while before he begged their forgiveness. He ignored repeated e-mails from Cam, not wishing to take a beating again, and didn't write to Matt, either. He considered canceling the Internet all together until he realized it would cut off Matt and Keith also, since he paid for their service.

In the second week of his self-imposed exile, Matt called him and left a message for him on the answering machine, that Cam was concerned about him and wanted him to call her as soon as possible. He ignored that message too, and buried himself in his work. Songs were not coming to him, but he was used to that by now. He began to make plans for after the Christmas tour, getting the recording studio up and running, and selling time to other musicians. He also asked his own band members to be in-house musicians, and began searching for other interests not related to the music industry in which to invest. He was comfortable financially, but he needed to insure both his future and that of his brothers. Matt eventually would make something of himself, Evan was sure, but Keith would need lifelong supervision, medically and Evan was prepared to care for him. And he was worried that if Keith's relationship with Sydney progressed she would not realize the seriousness of caring for a disabled man, especially if his condition deteriorated. His brother was so in love, he probably didn't care about the future, but Evan did, for him. If Evan was careful, and invested wisely in Keith's name, he would not have to worry about working or full time care so long as he lived.

On Sunday, Evan skipped church, which was also becoming normal, and slept in late. He woke to his phone ringing, and let the answering machine take the call. It was from a reporter with a national Christian magazine, requesting an interview. The reporter apologized for calling while Evan was at church, but he himself was home sick and decided to leave a message. Would Evan call him when he returned? Evan didn't want the man to know he wasn't in church, so he waited until later that afternoon and gave the media person a call.

"I'm glad you replied, said Thomas. "I would like to meet with you in person, today if possible."

Evan had nothing planned except to write, and he wasn't going to miss anything if he left, so he agreed to meet the man at a music row restaurant. They found each other in front of the café, and went inside to a booth. Evan ordered a sandwich and asked Thomas if he was hungry.

The reporter declined. "I just ate a big dinner with the family. My wife cooks for our kids and their spouses on Sunday. She's one of those women who think love and food is the same thing." He patted his stomach for proof.

Evan grinned. "I know someone just like that."

"So, small talk or get right to it?" Thomas asked.

"Is it about the tour? I'd like to talk about that, and you might want to include some of the other acts. They're all working hard to make this the best yet, but of course we say that every year."

"No, it's not about the tour, but I guess we could mention that. You do this every year; don't you get tired of being gone the whole holiday season?"

Evan shook his head. "No, for two reasons. I do this for charity, the relief organization I belong to, Child Savers. I am committed to their cause, feeding and schooling orphans all over the world. And giving them the Gospel. I admire the ones who are willing to give their lives to feed and clothe these kids. It's not something I would do myself, I'm ashamed to say. I'm not able to anyway, with my career and my family. So I raise money for them instead."

"That's certainly commendable. You give everything you make on the tour to them?"

"My salary and any profit after expenses. But I'm not looking for a pat on the back; I'm merely trying to use my celebrity for good. I can't do everything but I need to do something, I owe God my life. This is a small thing compared to what He has done for me."

"You're saying all the right words," Thomas commented. "But I'm concerned about something. It's easy to talk the talk; we all know how to do it. What we need most is to show Christ in our words, our actions, our private lives."

"I totally agree."

The man looked at him sharply. "Then how do you reconcile your sexual preferences to God's condemnation of homosexuality?"

Evan had to ask him to repeat the question; he was so shocked at it. "You're saying I'm a...a...Who said that?"

"There's a rumor floating around the Christian community. I'm here to ask you to confirm or deny it."

Evan was speechless. Where did this come from? Who could even think he was anything less than what he presented to the world; he tried to be as open as possible with his life, on stage and off... That's not entirely true, he reminded himself. He tried to hold his feelings inside, to keep anyone from getting close to the personal side of him; he had to have something of his own. Only his brothers knew his mind and Cam....

The reporter was waiting. Evan swallowed and wondered how he could answer such a question. If he denied it, he would look guilty and if he said it was a private matter, he would be accused of hiding it... it didn't matter how he answered, he was being judged already. It could end his career, all the hard work and sacrifice, he would be a disgrace to his fellow musicians, a so-called hypocrite, another Christian who claimed the name of Jesus but had a hidden, dark side. He would be ridiculed either way, and he would bring shame on his family. All because of a rumor.

Evan straightened in his seat, and looked Thomas directly in the eye. "I don't know how to answer you, Thomas...other than to deny it, so forgive me, I've never had my character attacked before and this is all new to me."

"So you say that this person, who is claiming to know your true nature personally, a much respected member of the media, is lying?"

Evan stared at him. "I don't know who you're talking about, and I don't want to, Thomas. Because I'm afraid I wouldn't react with Godliness to them and I'm called to forgive...I'm not angry that they say I'm ...a homosexual...I'm...hurt that someone would want to cause me distress by spreading an untruth about me. I didn't know I had any enemies, and if I do, I need to go to God and them, and ask forgiveness for whatever I did to make them feel they must hurt me."

"That's pretty noble. But you owe the people who pay money to buy your music and go to your concerts to come clean. If you're misleading them, you need to be stopped."

"I can't come any cleaner than I am," Evan said. "My life is an open book. I have no secrets, except that I'm not listed in the phone book! If I defend myself, I'll look like I'm hiding something. All I can tell you, Thomas, is investigate me. Search all you want. Here's the key to my house. Help yourself. Then write an honest report about me." Evan leaned on his arms and tried not to show the despair he felt. "I don't know what else to tell you. My integrity is a source of pride for me; maybe God wants to bring me out of that."

Thomas smiled, but his eyes were hard. "I'll take you up on that. I have to tell you, I got this information from a very reliable source. It floored me, and I had to find out for myself. If this person is lying, or has a hidden agenda, I'll find out, and then they will be sorry they ever mentioned this to me; that's how seriously I take this matter. I'm going to investigate you Worthy, down to your third grade Sunday school teacher. So if you have any secrets, now is your chance to tell me. Because I will find the truth."

Evan leaned forward, confiding to him. "I once tipped a waitress less than fifteen percent."

Thomas merely grinned. "I guess that's my cue. I'll be in touch." He slid out of the booth and disappeared. The waitress brought Evan his food, but he merely handed her a twenty-dollar bill and told her he wasn't staying. He walked out of the restaurant, and was immediately surrounded by fans, so he had no escape, though all he wanted to do was go home and bury his head under his bedcovers. When he could break away from his followers, Evan instead went to church to seek out the pastor. The church was locked, however, it was mid afternoon, and he couldn't wait for the later service. So he went home and sat in the darkening room, staring at the floor. I don't know why I'm so upset, there's nothing for Thomas to find, I've lived my life as a servant of God and a role model for others. It's an attack of the devil, and I should be honored; it means I'm having such an impact that the evil one wants me stopped. But Evan didn't feel honored; he was devastated. His life had gone downhill steadily since the start of the last tour, and the only bright spots were his purchase of the recording studio and his time with Cam. He thought of her and the way she made him laugh, made him feel like her hero, the way she tripped over the stool when she first met him in the flesh. He enjoyed that weekend more than any other time he could remember, and then he blew it the last night. Now he couldn't go back, Matt had told him how unwelcome he was...he had no one, nothing. What is the point, Lord? Why am I even here, alone and suffering?

He held his head in his hands for a while, and then decided to check his e-mail for any songs from Keith. The last two he sent were very good. As he hoped, a message from Keith labeled "For you" popped up on the screen, and Evan opened it.

"EVAN DO NOT DELETE THIS!!! READ IT I MEAN IT. CAM.

He started to move the mouse but stopped. Cam wrote to him and he missed her.

If you read this, thank you Evan. We are so very concerned, since we cannot seem to contact you no matter what we do. (Short of showing up on your doorstep, and if you ignore this letter that will be next.) Matt has confessed to me that he sent you a very nasty letter and he's beside himself trying to let you know that he didn't mean it; he was just trying to protect me. You know how he worries that all this will end, his being in school and so happy. I tried to tell him that you are a man of your word, and he does believe you now, but he can't get hold of you to ask your forgiveness, and it's tearing him up. He loves you Evan, and your approval means the world to him. Please, for Matt's sake call and tell him you love him too. It would make him so happy.

I need to tell you also, that I am so sorry about that night, I was wrong to overstep my bounds as your employee and I almost made you do something you would regret...I can only ask you to forgive me. I was unable to separate you the person, from Evan Worthy my idol, and when you were so charming and funny and made me feel like I was...not ugly old Cam...I went overboard and kind of...thought something could happen between us, and almost led you astray. I'm being totally honest here, though it's killing me. Please forgive me Evan, for making you uncomfortable that night. And for not telling you the truth, you deserved that. Actually I'm hoping right now that you are NOT reading this because I'm dying of embarrassment. I had a crush on Evan Worthy for years; imagine the thrill of actually meeting you. I'm no better than any other fan, worse because I was in close contact with you. So, if you'll just forgive me and act like you didn't notice what a fool I made of myself, we could possibly be the friends we were before we met face to face, because I dearly miss Evan Beers, and our conversations. Matt needs me, so I won't consider leaving this job and he depends on you for support and encouragement. We need to stay close for the love of him. So consider what I've said here and try not to judge me too harshly. You are a most charming, captivating man, and even I'm not immune.

Oh, one other thing...Did you realize that Thursday is Thanksgiving? You promised to be here with your brothers and they are counting on you. We'll have more food than you ever thought possible. And lots of pies. Please come home, and be with us. We want you. Cam.

Evan sat for a long time staring at the screen. He needed his family more than ever right now, but he couldn't stand one more rejection. What if Cam made Matt apologize but he didn't mean it? What if he really wasn't welcome at home? How would he face Cam, even though her version of that night was wrong, it was his fault, he was the one who was out of line? What did she mean; something might happen between them—what was wrong with that?

He had to think this over. Going to Indiana would mean risking more heartache and he had no heart left to spare now. He was about to humiliate and embarrass his family with the controversy over this rumor. Still...he needed to be with those who loved him, or at least tolerated him. His family would never reject him totally; he was and always would be their brother. Cam wouldn't throw his behavior in his face; she was too diplomatic and caring for that. Maybe he should take a chance, go to the only place on earth he would not be judged by strangers. He needed his family. And Cam.

Evan clicked to a commercial airline and booked passage for himself on Tuesday. Then he opened the write mail screen and told Cam he needed a ride from the airport. He mentioned nothing about the letter or his silence the last weeks, just a simple note telling her when his plane would arrive. Let her take care of the details surrounding his transportation from the airport. He couldn't form one more solid thought today. Clicking off the computer, he sat in the dark for a few more minutes, then lay on his bed and slept fitfully.

♥

Cam was online when Evan answered, though she had hidden herself from him. She was waiting to see if and when he read her e-mail; she knew he was online once a day usually, though she was well aware that he was ignoring them. Matt's letter must have hurt him terribly, and she could only imagine Evan's grief over his brother's words. It pained her that she was the cause of all this, Cam and her stupid crush that should have been held in check in the first place, if she was truly caring for Matt. Now she had caused division among the brothers and she had to find a way to make things right again, for Matt. But Evan was incommunicado, he wouldn't answer calls or e-mail, and she was getting truly desperate. Matt was sleepless and edgy, worried that his brother was so hurt he didn't want anything to do with him anymore; and Matt was devastated by what he had done with his words. He told Cam many times how much he regretted his impetuousness, and how much he wanted to make it up to Evan, but how could he when he couldn't get through by phone or computer? Cam comforted him as best she could, and promised to tell Evan how Matt felt if she had a chance. And then finally, she borrowed Keith's account to trick Evan into reading the mail, and tonight she was rewarded when she saw that he had read it. Now all she could do was wait, and wonder if he would answer. She realized he might answer on Keith's server, or maybe he would e-mail her, so she went back and forth between the two. Just a few minutes into her quest, her new mail screen showed a letter from Evan. She opened it, and read his short note.

He's not over it, she sighed. All he says is he needs a ride from the airport. That tells me nothing, but at least he's coming home. Then we will surround him with love and let him know how important he is to all of us. And I will not embarrass him by throwing myself at him or doing anything improper. But I will let him know he is cared for and do what I can to restore our friendship. I need him to be my friend, if only that.

♥

CHAPTER 31

On Tuesday at eight in the evening, Cam and Matt waited at the South Bend Regional Airport for Evan's flight to arrive. Matt rubbed at his arms nervously, shifting from one foot to the other, until Cam told him to stand still.

"You're making me crazy!" Cam scolded, her own nerves making her short-tempered. "Just remember, he loves you. That's what he needs the most, to be loved in return. He'll forget the letter; it doesn't matter what you said. He just wants you, Matt."

"I hope so..." He stopped his sentence as a line of passengers entered the building from the terminal doors. They waited while the whole plane departed, searching the faces of the passengers, and wondering if Evan had changed his mind. As the last passenger disappeared, Cam and Matt glanced at each other wondering what to do next. However, a moment later, Evan walked off the plane, shaking hands with the pilot, who was probably a fan. Matt nearly ran outside, but Cam held him back, reminding him that he was not allowed past the doors. He waited until Evan was just inside, and then rushed him, wrapping himself around his older brother.

"We thought you changed your mind!" Matt exclaimed, holding onto his brother's neck. "We were about to go home!"

"I almost did, but they wouldn't let me stay on the plane," he teased, but Cam noticed his heart wasn't in his words. He said hello to her but avoided her eyes and moved on to the luggage area without another word. Matt alternated between clinging to his brother and being mature, and grabbed Evan's suitcase before his brother could.

"I'll get it, Evan. You just relax," Matt said, smiling. "I'm so glad you're home. Cam wouldn't let us touch the apple pie until you got here, and I'm starving!"

Evan smiled weakly at his brother and fetched another suitcase. They moved outside to the car that Cam had parked close to the terminal doors. Evan threw his luggage in the trunk and climbed in the passenger seat.

"How was your flight?" asked Matt. "That was a small plane, really."

Evan didn't answer. He was drinking in Cam's cologne. She could tell by the way he breathed, and a moment later, he laid his head on the seat and closed his eyes.

Matt looked at Cam in the rearview mirror with a worried expression. She reached back and patted his arm in reassurance, then pulled out of the parking space. They drove in silence most of the way to the house, with Matt making what little conversation that there was. He told Evan about the youth group, how they met at the barn, about school, his job and how much he needed a car. Evan spoke for the first time since he got into the car.

"It's being delivered Thursday or Friday."

"On Thanksgiving? Someone will do that on the holiday?"

"Yes, it's possible. I have to leave on Friday for the tour so I wanted it here before I left."

"Thanks, Evan, you're the greatest." Matt's voice shook a little. "You know I didn't mean what I wrote in that email. I thought you hurt Cam."

"No, I didn't know that, and yes I did hurt Cam. She thinks it was her fault but it wasn't. I screwed up and she took the blame."

Cam looked at him and then back to the road. "Evan, no, you are and always will be a man of honor. You could have taken advantage of me, but you didn't. It takes a strong man..." She laughed. "I almost said to resist temptation, but I'm not tempting. Let's just say you were a gentleman."

He looked at her sharply. "No I wasn't. I almost forced you...I'm a jerk, Cam. Please forgive me."

"Forgive me, Evan. Your friendship means the world to me." Even if what I really want is your love....

"Me too, Cam. You're the best friend I ever had." It might have ended up much more if I hadn't pushed things.

It grew silent again in the car as each entertained their thoughts. Cam stole looks at Evan whenever she could but he seemed intent on staring out the window. Matt leaned on the front seat and kept his hand on Evan's shoulder but he did not acknowledge him.

This is not good, not good at all, Cam thought. What has happened to make him so quiet, so sullen? Is he possibly hurting over that night as much as I am? Did it bother him that much that he almost kissed me? Was he that repulsed? Matt did hurt Evan; she knew that, he was already hurting over his brother's lack of enthusiasm when he came home. The letter had to have compounded it, but what else? Was it his being alone? Evan said he wasn't handling it well, was it much worse than he even said? Cam couldn't answer any of these questions by guessing, so she began to plot strategy to bring him out of his shell. First, she would feed him and make him feel comfortable at home. No pressures. Then she would make him laugh, that seemed to draw him close to her. Finally, she would find time alone for them to talk; letting him tell her anything; even if it hurt her, so that he might become the Evan she knew and loved again. However, time was not on her side, she knew he left for the tour on Friday. It was Tuesday now, she only had tomorrow and Thanksgiving or she might lose him forever. Oh, God she prayed, you love him so much. Be merciful to him and comfort him, and show me what to do so that he will respond.

She pulled into the driveway, and he went to the rear of the car to get his bags from the trunk. Matt waited, took one suitcase and went inside with them. The kitchen was warm and smelled like cinnamon. Cam watched as Evan relaxed a very tiny bit, and went to get ice cream.

"Where's Keith?" Evan asked.

"He and Sydney went to a movie. They should be back soon." Matt helped Cam to cut the pie and plate it. There was coffee and milk, and Cam offered both to Evan. He opted for milk, saying he wanted to sleep tonight. They made small talk, and try as she did, Cam could not reach Evan. She decided that maybe he needed time alone with his brothers and after she had cleaned the kitchen, bid both the men goodnight.

"I'll walk you to your car," Evan offered. He put on a jacket and followed her out to the driveway, waiting as she opened her car door.

"You aren't mad at Matt anymore, are you?" Cam asked. "He's very sorry about the letter, it was impulsive and he couldn't take it back."

"I'm not mad at him," Evan said. "I know how he is, trying to make everything right in the world. I'll spend some time with him tonight."

"Good. I'll be here tomorrow around seven, so sleep in. I have to cook all day to get ready for Thanksgiving but I won't need any of you up early." She tossed her purse on the seat. "I'm so glad you came home for the holiday. You'll be gone for all of December, right?"

"Up to the week of Christmas when the tour ends. Then I'm taking until New Years at least. Maybe spending it here, I don't know."

"Please do that. This is your home."

He started to reply, then stopped. Cam leaned forward and hugged him, squeezing him tight. Evan stood stiff, at first, then put his arms around her and returned the gesture, breathing in her cologne with a sigh. It was as if he was taking love from her and soaking it up, so she held on to him and tried to make him feel as cared for as possible. Then he stepped away, telling her to drive safely. Cam touched his arm, got into her car and left, honking once as she drove away. She could see him standing in the driveway watching her leave.

♥

"So, Evan," Matt said as a greeting.

"Why is Keith gone? He knew I was coming tonight, didn't he?"

Matt frowned and shrugged. "He's always with Sydney. They're like, glued together. It's okay, Evan. You and I can spend some time alone."

"I would think that he would want to spend time with us. It's not like I see him every day."

"Chill, Evan. It's not that big of a deal," Matt said defensively. "You want us to spend every waking moment with you but we have things going on, just like you."

Evan crossed his arms and leaned on the counter. "I want to spend time together as a family; I didn't travel all this way to be alone. I want to feel like I'm part of this household. But I don't."

"That's your problem," Matt replied. "Just because we don't worship you when you're here doesn't mean you're not one of us. You aren't the most important, even though you make the most money."

"I don't claim to be," Evan answered. "We're all in this together, we always have been. But I have always been the wage earner, the one who took care of you two. And the one who gets blamed if things don't go right. So I think I've earned the right to say I want my family around when I'm home."

Matt moved away from Evan, his eyes dark with anger. "Yeah, well, you've been on our butts ever since we moved. You can't stand it because we're happy; you come sweeping in and try to make us all feel guilty. You're not the same brother I knew on the last tour; you've changed into some nasty, angry person. No wonder we don't want to hang with you."

"Then don't."

"I won't." Matt slammed a book down on the table and went to his room.

Evan shook his head. This is not what he meant to do, pick a fight with Matt on his first night home. He was so mad that Keith wasn't here to greet him, after all the effort it had taken to come home. Worse than that was how much he missed him, and how happy his brother was when Evan felt so miserable. Maybe he was jealous, and he certainly was turning into an evil twin of himself. Matt was right.

Evan took his suitcases to his room and unpacked, leaving his clothes on top of the dressers since he would be leaving Friday. He heard the door open as Keith returned home but he didn't go to the kitchen. Keith appeared at his doorway a moment later.

"Hey, Bro. Sorry I missed you. Sydney..."

Evan didn't respond. He sat on the bed and pulled out a note pad.

"You bring song stuff?" Keith moved into the room.

"Yeah, I need to work on them with you but I don't see it happening this trip."

"I have more to show you. Sydney and I have done another song that you might like."

"Good you can do the whole album. It's not like I have anything."

"Dry spell, huh? Heard it happens to every artist, so I wondered when it would be you."

Evan shrugged.

Keith patted his brother on the back. "It'll come back, bro. You just need the right inspiration." Evan was silent. "So tell me about you and Mitch and this recording studio. André always said you were his first choice when he retires."

"I got it. Mitch is getting things started while I'm on tour." Evan pulled off his shirt and threw it on the floor. "Will Cam yell at me if I leave my shirt there?"

Keith grinned. "You? She thinks you walk on water. Matt and me now that's different. She'd have our hide if we left a shirt or sock on the floor. Or a dirty dish on the table. We live in fear..." He laughed. "But not the great and mighty Evan. You could walk on the carpet with muddy boots and she'd say those boot prints are holy!"

"Yeah, right."

"She likes you Evan, more than she'll admit, even to herself, I think. It about killed her that she thought she drove you away."

"What?" Evan frowned. "She ran from me. I repulsed her or something."

Keith raised his eyebrows. "Are you sure? Maybe she was just overwhelmed and freaked."

"I don't know. She's always so down on herself, like she can't believe anyone would want her and she's the most wonderful, witty, warm woman I've ever met."

"That's a lot of w-words," Keith said. "Sounds like a song."

"Oh, yes, a worship song about a woman." Evan smiled slightly. "I could do worse."

"Are you talking song or woman?"

Evan had to think about that for a moment.

"So what else is going on?" Keith asked, sitting on the bed.

"I don't want to talk about it," Evan said. "I'm tired."

"You, tired?" Keith laughed. "The boy wonder admits to being sleepy?"

Evan was growing irritated at Keith's cheerfulness. How could he be so happy when Evan was so miserable? Oh, that's right. Sydney. She changed Keith from a quiet shy man into this bundle of joy, the happiness fairy or something. But it was good to see Keith content and with a woman who truly loved him. If nothing else, Evan had to admit that the change in Keith was for the better.

"So do you want to go over songs tonight?" Keith asked.

"No. I want to sleep."

"It's way early, Evan. I don't mind."

Evan shook his head. "I don't feel like it now. I really just want to close my eyes and not think about anything."

Keith stood and hugged his brother. "Good to have you home. I'll see you tomorrow afternoon."

"Why so late?"

"I have a job," Keith said. "In a factory, I told you. I'll be home around four."

Evan shrugged. "Whatever. I'll spend tomorrow alone."

"Not alone. Cam's here."

"She's not you." Evan walked Keith to the door, and closed it behind him. He turned off the lights and lay on the bed. It was quiet and the bed was soft. His hand bumped something so he turned on the bedside lamp. It was his old ratty slipper that he left when he was here weeks ago. Evan threw it next to his shirt and closed his eyes.

♥

"He picked a fight with me last night, Cam, and I was trying to be nice to him." Matt bit his pancake. "So I went to bed, the heck with him."

"He'll be sorry today, Matt. He's just not himself lately."

Matt shrugged, but hurt was evident in his voice. "Why did he come home if he doesn't want to be around us?"

"He does, Matt. You're a comfort to him, and he comes to see you so he can feel loved. Give him some time, and love him. He needs that right now, even if he pushes you away."

"What's bugging him, anyway?" Matt wondered. "He's like a major grouch."

"I don't know, Matt, but I'm going to do my best to make him feel better."

"Well don't try to kiss him," Matt warned. "He might run away again."

Cam put her hands on her hips and glared at him. "Thank you for your wise counsel. I feel better now."

Matt smiled and reached for his school gear. "Can we go? I want to see Kiri before class."

Cam found her car keys and purse. "Soon you'll be driving and I'll never see you anymore."

"Oh, no, I'll always be wherever your pie is," teased Matt. "Keep homemade desserts at all times."

"I will for you." She hugged him. "Daily hug time. Have I told you lately how much I love you?"

He smiled as they left the kitchen. "Not for at least twenty-four hours. Better bring me up to speed on that again."

They laughed as they went to the car.

♥

CHAPTER 32

To Cam's surprise, Evan was awake and eating pie when she returned. He had the ratty robe on again, but no slippers. Though she tried not to look, she noticed he was wearing only pajama bottoms, the same ones he had loaned her. His chest was bare, and she could see his hair...Cam forced herself to look away. The feelings she wrestled with right now were not for a mere friend. She took the pie away from him and replaced it with nourishment, forcing him to eat eggs and oatmeal. He protested, but she reminded him that he paid her to take care of them and his money wasn't wasted.

"And don't leave that plate on the table," she added as she went to do laundry.

"I wouldn't dare," he replied, smiling just a little. She was encouraged; maybe she would be able to draw him out of his self-imposed shell today.

"So is tomorrow the traditional Thanksgiving kind of dinner?" Evan asked. "With turkey and pie and all that?"

"Umm," replied Cam, distracted by something outside. It looked like a car had pulled into the driveway, but maybe they were just turning around. She looked again just to be sure then turned back to Evan. "I have to run to the store for some groceries. Want to come with me?"

He surprised her by saying yes, and promised to be dressed in a few minutes. Cam almost told him he looked just fine the way he was, but stopped. He was not in the mood for teasing, she could tell, and she had best be careful today.

Evan returned a few minutes later wearing a torn flannel shirt and an equally ripped pair of jeans. Cam frowned and pointed her spatula at him.

"You are not going out in public looking like that."

"What's wrong with it?"

Cam shot him a look, and moved toward him. "Please tell me you brought decent clothes. These look like leftovers from a refugee camp! I know you can afford to dress well."

He acted insulted but went back to his room, muttering as he walked, and returned in a clean flannel shirt and jeans. Cam nodded and perused her shopping list.

"Millionaires can dress any way they want, you know," he grumbled, standing next to her.

"Yes, but millionaires in this household look presentable when they go to the grocery store." She straightened his collar and brushed at his hair, which was starting to grow again, then ordered him to get his jacket. Throwing him her keys, she told Evan to drive while she updated her shopping list and looked for coupons. He raised his eyebrows at the mention of coupons, but said nothing. Cam went ahead of him to the car and waited while he opened the door for her. Evan's cell phone rang and he answered while walking to his side of the car, greeting Mitch. Cam heard a one sided conversation that left her baffled, and made Evan's mood darken.

"Mitch, hey, I'm in Indiana. What?" Evan frowned and slumped in the seat. "What kind of questions? No, he's right. I told him to. Gave him the keys to my house. Because Mitch, how am I going to prove I have nothing to hide?"

Evan rubbed his forehead. "I have to, Mitch. He said a much respected member of the media. No, I don't. Just tell him anything, the truth, man. Only the truth even if you have to hurt me. I can't call him off."

He looked at Cam and turned away. "Not now, I'll call you later. There's much more, Mitch. Yeah, me too. God help me. Pray. See ya." He closed the phone and started the car, not looking at Cam. She waited, but he didn't volunteer any information on the phone call that seemed to have devastated him; instead, he merely drove away with a frown, not even asking Cam where they were going. She allowed him to drive as he pleased; it seemed he needed the diversion. When they were twenty miles from home on a country road, he finally realized he was driving aimlessly.

"Uh, do you know where we are?" Evan asked, slowing the car.

"Warsaw, Indiana," Cam answered. "Do you think we can find a grocery store?"

He pulled into the parking lot of a factory. "Sorry, I was thinking and I just kept driving..."

"That's fine," Cam said, touching his arm. "But I wish you would talk to me."

"I can't," he answered quickly, which led Cam to assume that he wouldn't. "But if a guy named Thomas calls, and wants to talk about me, just answer his questions. He's a reporter."

"Someone wants to interview us about you?" Cam was puzzled. "Why wouldn't he just talk to you directly?"

"He doesn't trust me to tell him the truth; he wants to talk to the ones around me. I need you to be truthful with him...but don't tell him, I mean don't volunteer information other than what he asks."

She stared at Evan. "It doesn't sound like a friendly interview."

He swallowed, his eyes showing pain. "It isn't."

"Evan, I'm not going to tell him anything that makes you look bad. I won't do it. Neither will your brothers. Besides, there isn't anything bad to tell. You are the most godly, honorable man I know. I want the world to recognize that."

"Cam, you see me as this holy, celestial being that walks on water." Evan looked distressed. "I'm not like that. I'm just a man, like everyone else."

"Is there something you need to tell me?" Cam asked, thinking he must have fallen into sin and needed to repent. It wouldn't be hard to imagine. Women were after him all the time and he was so lonely. A pain shot through her heart as she imagined him with someone else and he was....

"No, I'm clean," Evan replied, interrupting her thoughts. "But I need you to understand that I'm not a god. You do see me as a person sometimes, don't you?"

"I see you as a man who has walked with God," Cam replied honestly. "And all men who walk with God struggle even if they have achieved greatness. In fact, they walk through fire because of their closeness to God. Faith is always tested, and the devil is at the door constantly ready to defeat you if possible. And I see you as a man in need of love, a man who is starving for affection, who needs a woman to comfort him."

He looked at her sharply. "Why do you say that?"

Cam lowered her eyes. "Because being alone tears you apart. I pray all the time God will fill the need in you." Help God, my heart is breaking into pieces. I'm telling him to find someone...else. I know he doesn't want me...so send him someone.

♥

Evan watched her, searching her face for a sign that she was offering herself to him. When she wouldn't look at him, he sighed and told himself he was a fool, hoping for something he knew wasn't there. Once again he had opened himself to her and reaped pain. What made him turn to her repeatedly, knowing she didn't want him the way he wanted her? Was he some kind of freak, getting hurt and going back for more?

He turned the car around to drive back to town, but they spotted a grocery store and decided to shop where he might be less recognized. They spent the next hour gathering things for Thanksgiving dinner, then drove around for another hour or so, stopping at a park to enjoy the cool but sunny day. Cam worried about the groceries in the car, but wanted Evan to relax. She could always buy more groceries, though it would kill her if anything wasted. He wanted to walk some of the trails so they did, then went to Shipshewana and did some shopping for the house, decorations and such. Evan treated Cam to lunch at a small café, and they talked for another hour, merely enjoying each other's company. Evan showed small glimpses of his normal good humor. Encouraged, Cam tried to make him to laugh at silly things like Matt's adventures at school, the way he was so eager to help Cam with housework, and how Kiri complained Cam was making him into her personal servant.

"She thinks I frighten him into service, but he's more than happy to help," Cam informed Evan. "He feels needed, but since Kiri is religiously opposed to housework, she has a fit."

Evan smiled, knowing Kiri often ordered Matt around more than Cam. "And what about Keith and Sydney? He says he's still in love."

Cam nodded. "They're stuck to each other like glue. She lives and breathes for him, and Keith...he's very devoted to her. They spend every waking moment possible with each other."

"She does go home at night, right?" Evan asked. "I mean, there's nothing going on that shouldn't."

"No, they're openly affectionate, but Keith is a very moral man, very much like his older brother. He models himself after you, Evan. Though he is very different from you, he wants to please God, and seeks him daily. You should be proud."

"I am," Evan replied. "Of both of them, but they don't believe that."

"Yes, they do," Cam said. "And they are proud of you. Don't get discouraged because they're leaving you behind in their quest for lives of their own. Keith and Matt will always need you, just in a different way than you're used to."

He pushed his coffee cup to the edge of the table. "Okay. You've told me this over and over. I'm going to believe you."

"Good, because I'd never lie to you," Cam replied. "Are we done here? It's well after noon and I'm behind on my baking."

"You mean that, Cam, you'd never lie to me?"

"As God is my witness."

Evan stared at her for a long time, then seemed to dismiss whatever he was thinking, which was a good thing for Cam, because the longer he looked at her the louder her heart beat in her chest. He left money on the table for the food, and then put his hand on her lower back, guiding her out of the building.

♥

They were unloading the groceries, both carrying bags. Evan held the door open for Cam, and then followed her into the kitchen. His phone rang again, so he put the bags on the counter and snapped it open, and then moved to his room leaving Cam to put the groceries away. She began tonight's dinner, and was separating eggs in a bowl when she noticed that Evan had left the car door open. Cam closed it but before she went back to the house, she saw a car coming up the driveway. She didn't recognize it, so she waited until they stopped. A man and woman exited, saying hello to her and asking if Evan was home.

"And you would be?" Cam inquired, feeling uneasy.

The man extended his hand. "Art Federman, and this is my sister, Janice. We're big fans."

Cam returned the greeting, but didn't invite them inside. She wasn't sure if Evan wanted company, even though he said he wouldn't run from fans. This was his home, his sanctuary from his public life.

"We were hoping to see Evan; we're singers and it's like God said, hey, he's there, seize the moment. We'd like to sing for him and give him a copy of our music."

"Maybe it would be more appropriate for you to contact his record label in Nashville," suggested Cam. "I'm not his spokesperson, but..."

"Why don't we let him be the judge of that?" asked the woman, Janice. "Could you just tell him we're here?"

"I don't think..."

The man stepped closer. "We're not trying to be pushy, but we can't let this opportunity pass us by."

"I can ask him," Cam said. "Could you excuse me, please?" She started for the house, and then stopped. "How did you know Evan was here?"

"Well, we're in real estate, and the home sales are public record. So we kept an eye on the place to see if he really did own this and boy, we got lucky!"

Cam's protective instincts kicked in. "This is owned by him, yes, but he doesn't live here, his family does. And no offense, but this is private property, and we have youngsters."

"I know that, we waited till everyone was gone so we could see Evan alone. Could you please tell him we want to see him?" The woman repeated.

Now Cam was becoming angry. "You've been stalking Evan?"

"No, not at all," said the man. "Just going past every once in a while. We saw him leave today and waited for him to return, that's all."

The kitchen door opened. "Cam? Where are you?" Evan walked out into the yard, and seeing Cam with visitors, started to walk toward them.

"Mr. Worthy, I'm so glad to meet you," Janice gushed, rushing toward him.

Art Federman stayed by Cam's side. "Well, aren't you going to introduce us?" he asked as if an old friend of hers. Cam gave him a dirty look and stepped between him and Evan.

"Evan, these people have been watching the house, trying to catch you at home. They want you to listen to a disc they made." Cam hoped she made it plain she did not know them.

Evan put his hand on Cam's shoulder to assure her he was okay, and then talked with the people for a while, taking the recording, but making no promises. He walked them back to their car, and told them that he didn't own a record company, but he could rent them studio space to make their own record in Nashville.

"Give me a call if you're in Nashville," Evan suggested. "Like I said, only own a studio, but you can make contacts all around Nashville, starting with radio stations and record labels."

"We were hoping you'd give us a shot in the arm," said the man.

"I have no say," he told him. "I try to stay out of that end; I've got enough going on in my own."

The woman was not happy with his polite refusal. "You would think, as a Christian you'd make room for another act. Competition is good for you."

"Ma'am, I'm not worried about competition. There's plenty for all of us, and soon I'll be old stuff and the younger singers will take over the charts. My advice to you is to follow God, seek Him and serve Him in all things. When He sees your heart, He will lead you in the direction He wants you to go. And you have to be open to Him, because it may not be singing."

"Oh, we're sure God's called us to sing." Janice stood outside her car. "We have quite a following here. We want to take it to the next level."

"Great, then He will show you, honest—Janice, was it?

"So you'll listen to the disc and call your label?"

Evan promised to pass it on to his record label. "I have to stay out of this but I'll pass it on, if you'll promise me something."

The two visitors looked skeptical.

"My family lives here, not me. I'm just a visitor, and so please, don't spread it around that I live here. My brothers moved here to live a normal life, and I'm determined to give them that."

"Listen to the disc," the woman repeated. "We'll stop back next week and see how you liked it."

"It would be best if you called my record label," Evan stated again. "I don't want my family involved, okay?"

"So you're standing here, a fellow Christian, and you're blowing us off," Janice said, frowning. "I thought you were a better man than that. Come on, Art."

She pulled at her brother's arm, but her eyes were on Evan. "I think people should know what you're really like, Mr. Worthy."

He sighed, but didn't defend himself. "God knows my heart, Janice, and if I'm wrong he will deal with me. Thanks for your concern."

She gave him an angry glare and pushed her brother to his car. They backed out of the driveway and left, tires leaving black marks on the street. Cam followed them to the street, and pulled the gate shut, then went back to the house. Evan was sitting on the porch swing, his eyes closed, and his head resting on the back of the swing. Cam wasn't sure whether to interrupt him; maybe he was praying. She hesitated, and then walked slowly up the steps, to where he sat. He didn't acknowledge her so she went into the house to start dinner, listening for him while she worked. About twenty minutes later, he appeared in the kitchen saying he was tired and going to take a nap. Cam gave him a small smile and kept working.

♥

Search me and know me, oh God. The verse kept ringing through his head, like a recording. Evan was tired. So bone tired, and this encounter with the zealous singing Federmans had sapped his energy. After the events of the last weeks; first his leaving Indiana with such mixed feelings about Cam, then the negotiations for the recording studio, endless rehearsals for the Christmas show, the problems with his musicians, and the soon to come battle for his integrity, Evan was exhausted beyond measure. He was done in, both physically and mentally, and even if Cam did not want to see him again, or care, he needed to see her, to feel cared for, to eat one of her tempting pies, feel her eyes on him as she listened to him speak. He loved the way she stared at him when he spoke, as if she was memorizing every word. Evan needed comfort, and for him, it was his friendship with Cam. I almost blew everything by trying to kiss her, and I'm really thrilled she forgave me, but I was so out of line, I can't forgive myself. He would never forget the way she backed away from him and the frightened look in her eyes, as if he was some kind of monster. Yet, they had been so close that few days, almost as if they belonged together...but of course she didn't feel the same and he had made a fool out of himself. That was becoming common, he thought. The great and mighty Evan Worthy is human after all. Not that he ever confessed to anything else, but God, Evan prayed, what is it I'm doing so wrong that you feel the need to humble and humiliate me?

This Federman singing duo hadn't upset him because they were so aggressive, he was used to that, it was the underlying message, blackmail really, if Evan didn't find their disc to his liking, if he didn't press his record label into listening to them. He didn't care about the attack on him personally, it was nothing compared to what the reporter told him. What bothered him most was that they knew where his family lived, had actually been watching the property, and knew when Matt and Keith were home. And Cam was alone during the day. Evan had to make his property more secure. He hated it; being a Christian entertainer, he was supposed to be accessible to the ones he sought to reach with the message of love and forgiveness. But his family's safety was most important, and not all of the people who would visit were genuine. There were weirdoes everywhere and Evan had to protect his brothers. They would hate him making their home into a fortress, but he had to do it for them. He would never be able to forgive himself if anything happened to Matt, Keith or the women.

What if God sent these people to humble Evan, to show him that he was lacking in his own life? What other message could it be, but to search his heart and make his ways blameless? God, I live to please you and I try to serve you to the best of my ability. Please, God, tell me where I'm lacking so I can make things right. Don't let anyone around me suffer because I'm in disobedience or backslidden.

Evan heard Cam walk on the porch as he was praying, but he was so intent on his prayer he couldn't acknowledge her. She would understand. When he finished, he was so tired, all he wanted was to fall into bed and never wake up, to forget for one day the pressures, the deadlines, and the constant, never ending stress. The only place he could do that was here. His last visit was wonderful, for that one night; until he ruined it...Evan pushed off the swing and moved through the house. Cam was cooking, and she smiled slightly at him, a polite but indifferent smile. He shouldn't have come here. Nashville was lonely but Indiana was worse, except for Cam. Today only confirmed what he feared. She cared, but not in the manner he wanted. He thought he could change things if he came back again, but that wasn't going to happen, and so he told her that he was tired and going to sleep. Then he was going to get a flight to Nashville and not come back again until Christmas. Being busy would help. Being lonely would never stop.

♥

CHAPTER 33

Cam let him sleep all afternoon, until well after both Matt and Keith were home. She told them to keep quiet, warning that if they woke him she would feed them bread and water for a week.

"He wasn't himself at all last night," Keith said to Cam. "I'm concerned. He's always been serious, but he seemed really sad, and I can't reach him."

"He's going through something," agreed Cam. "He's under so much stress."

Keith shook his head. "He thrives on the pressure, Cam. It's normal for him. Something must have happened to make him so upset."

"He did have a run-in with a couple of really pushy people today. They wanted him to listen to their disc, and practically blackmailed him."

Keith frowned. "They were here?"

Cam nodded. "They said they were watching the house trying to catch him at home. I call it stalking."

Keith agreed. "He's battled things like this for years. Maybe it's finally getting to him. I can't have these people on our property; what if they hurt Evan, or Matt? Or you girls?" He searched for the phone book. "I talked to a guy when I first moved here about security. I'm going to have him out this week. Evan will hate me making this place into a fortress, but if anything ever happened...I'd never forgive myself."

Cam agreed. She kept busy the rest of the afternoon, but her mind was far from her chores. She kept thinking of weeks ago, the night in the loft, when he had almost kissed her...and came to his senses before he did something that he would regret. She was not sure she would ever get over this hurt. Maybe it was better to know he wasn't interested in her that way, so they were free to be friends again. They were very good as friends. She hadn't ever enjoyed herself as much as she had that weekend; it was like Evan and her were instant best friends. She wanted it to be more, so much more...but that was out of the question. Men like him did not want women like her who were serious, responsible. Evan was a superstar, idolized by thousands; he belonged to his public. He was also warm, funny, and wonderful. He made her feel appreciated, he laughed at her jokes, and it felt like he wanted to be with her. It's just me that wanted something more, Cam reminded herself. I ruined our friendship by letting him get carried away, and if he hadn't stopped when he did, I would have let him kiss me...I wanted it so much. Then he would have come to his senses and realized whom he was kissing—me—Cam, and that would have been the end of it anyway. I have nothing to offer him, but my care, my friendship, my support. It would have to be enough for her, the privilege of being his friend. She wanted to be near him even if she could never have him; his presence in her life was reward enough.

Matt asked if Cam would mind that he and Kiri ate dinner with the youth; they were going on a hayride and having a bonfire at an apple orchard. Cam said the apples were probably picked from the trees by now, but Matt said it was where the girl who was having the hayride lived. Cam gave him her blessing and sent him away with Kiri. The youth pastor picked them up in the church van around five and said they would be home by eleven.

Keith said he and Sydney planned to work on songs tonight if Evan was agreeable. Cam decided to stay at the house late, until Matt and Kiri returned. She wanted to listen as the songs were formed, shaped, and made into melodies. She was sure Evan wouldn't mind, and she wasn't going to leave even if he did! He needed to be around family, to know he was loved and accepted, that this was as much his home as Matt and Keith's whether they wanted him here or not. They did want him, Cam knew, they just wanted their own lives too. Evan would adjust to this someday, and realize he was still loved by his brothers. Tonight though, she would let him rest, his body needed it, then she, Keith and Sydney would spend time with him, doing something as mundane as working on songs. In their time together, Cam would see to it that he felt loved and cared for, even if he didn't feel the same about her.

Sydney arrived, and claimed Keith, promising to return soon. "I want him to help me with something," she said simply, and before Cam knew it, they were gone, leaving her alone in the house with a sleeping Evan. She had dinner finished, but no one to eat it, so she turned off the oven and kept everything warm. With nothing else to do, Cam read a Bible while listening to Evan on headphones, then after a while, her eyes grew heavy and she set the book on her lap. The next thing she knew, Evan was sitting across from her in a chair reading a book. Cam jumped up and looked at the clock, worried she had let dinner burn.

"Don't worry, I took it out. It was turned off, anyway." Evan set his book on the table. "I didn't eat; I thought maybe you would like to join me."

"I would," replied Cam, stretching her back. She went with Evan to the kitchen and placed food on his plate and hers while he found glasses and silverware. He was unusually quiet, and Cam's heart began to ache for him. Whatever was bothering him was not resolved, he was harboring it, and she had a feeling he wasn't going to share it with her either. At least he was home, with his family and she could minister to him before he went out on the road with the Christmas tour.

"Did you sleep well?" Cam asked.

"Like a baby," Evan quipped. "Woke up and cried."

Cam looked at him sharply. She wondered if he was serious. "Do you feel like talking? Don't try to brush me off. I can tell something's wrong, we all can. You're wearing your mood like a shirt."

He shook his head. "It's not something you'd understand."

She took his face in her hands. "Try me. At best, I'm a good listener."

"I didn't come home to whine about my life." He pulled away from her and bit into his food. She sat at the counter and ate silently, wondering if she should keep pressing him or just be pleasant company.

"This is good, Cam." He helped himself to another portion. "I shouldn't eat so much. We'll be stuffing our faces again tomorrow."

"I hope so, or I'll be insulted," Cam teased. He did not return her humor. What was wrong with him?

"Keith and Sydney are coming back tonight, aren't they?" Evan asked. "We need to work on the songs; this is my only chance till Christmas."

"Yes."

He finished his dinner in silence and went to the piano. Cam stared after him, wanting to reach him but not knowing how. When he stopped playing and stared at the keyboard, Cam could stand it no longer and went to him, putting her arms around his neck.

"My best friend is hurting and I am hurting too," she said quietly. "Please tell me how to help you."

"You can't touch me, Cam." Evan removed her arms. "It only makes it worse."

He rose from the bench and went outside, leaving her hurt and worried. Why suddenly didn't he want her to touch him? What changed between this afternoon and his nap? Cam took a deep breath for courage and followed him into the early evening darkness. He was standing on the porch looking toward the river.

"Care to walk around the property?" Cam asked, stealing up next to him. "It's really cold in the water now, but we won't be fishing for keys."

"That was one of the most fun things I have ever done," Evan said wistfully, not looking at her. "I enjoyed that weekend more than you know, even with my brothers making me feel unwelcome."

"I did too, but I'll never forgive you for scaring me that first night. I don't know which was worse—seeing you standing there or knowing you heard me sing."

He smiled slightly. "I was in no danger of losing my recording contract to you."

"You still aren't, honey." Cam grinned and pulled him by the hand off the porch. "I want to show you something."

They went to the barn where Cam showed Evan the newly cleaned stalls.

"It doesn't smell so bad in here," Evan commented.

Matt and the kids from church cleaned it so they would be more comfortable. They wanted you to know that they would be willing to all help with horses, if Matt were to have any. He thought if you saw how neat he keeps the stable, you would think he's responsible enough to have some."

Evan shook his head and sighed. "I'm going to have to get him horses. He'll bug me until I do, anyway. I'll hire someone to come in and care for them or at least teach him how to handle animals. I don't know when..."

Cam touched his arm. "Maybe for Christmas. I'll call around for you and see how to go about this. He'll be so excited."

Evan glanced at the loft at the same time Cam did, and both blushed as they moved out of the barn. They went to the bank of the river and stood on the water's edge.

"I don't know if this will freeze over in the winter, but if it does, you men can ice fish," Cam suggested. "Matt bought fishing poles for him and Keith, and he wants to know if you want one. He said that I should find out what you want for Christmas so he and Kiri can shop this weekend."

"What I want can't be bought," Evan sighed, his eyes looking far away.

Cam watched him closely. She had to reach him somehow. "What do you want, Evan? Really, tell me the truth or I'll feed you bread and water tomorrow."

"I don't know if I'm staying till tomorrow," Evan replied.

"Your company is making you return on the holiday?" Cam asked incredulously.

"No, I just don't feel like celebrating." Despite his request not to be touched, he stepped behind Cam, and wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her head.

"I'm not letting you leave," Cam said. "And you didn't answer my question."

He pulled her tighter as he breathed in. "What do you want, Cam?"

She put her hands on his arms. "I want you to stay for Thanksgiving."

Evan laughed. "I knew you'd say that."

Cam smiled and relaxed against him. There was a moment of silence between them as each enjoyed the feel and warmth of the other person. Evan moved his head and rubbed his chin on her hair, then softly brushed her cheek with his lips. Cam closed her eyes and sighed as Evan kissed her neck from behind, and nuzzled her, burying his face in her hair. His breath on her neck sent shivers down her spine and she shuddered, pressing into him. The beating she felt in her back wasn't her heart; it was his, though she could feel it as clear as her own, and with a gasp, she turned to face him.

He's looking at me with the same longing I feel for him, Cam realized as butterflies danced in her stomach. Could it be possible...maybe I'm not imagining it...maybe I was wrong...I need to know. She placed her hands on his face and pulled him toward her. He's not getting away from me this time, Cam vowed, and kissed him full on the lips, willing him not to run from her. But he didn't; Evan drank in her affection like the thirsty man he was, filling his lonely, aching heart with the love she so needed to give to him. He kissed her in return, softly, teasing her lips with his own, until Cam could stand it no more and kissed him with all the love she had saved for a this very moment. He met her passion with ardent kisses of his own as Evan wrapped his arms around Cam and captured her in his embrace.

"I need you Cam," Evan whispered against the soft skin of her throat. "You are the only thing in my life that keeps me from going over the edge. You comfort me and make me feel loved and ...oh, Cam...I need to be loved." He claimed her lips again, drawing life from her.

"I do love you, Evan. I want you to love me too." Her breaths came in gasps as she surrendered to the whirlwind of emotions that spun inside her. "And I want to care for you, to show you how wonderful and deserving of love you are. I want to make you happy."

"You do, I mean it," he said, and kissed her deeply. "Even before we met face to face I knew you were what I was looking for, what I needed. I've spent most of my life taking care of my brothers and I wouldn't change a thing, but I didn't realize that I needed to be cared for until you showed me what I was missing."

Cam pulled away from him slightly and laid her head on his chest. "I did know what I was missing, but never thought I would find it for myself. You are everything I ever wanted or dreamed of; you are both, Evan. The man of my dreams and the man I fell in love with are one person, what are the odds of that? But I didn't dare hope..."

"Me either," he said, stroking her hair. "I thought it was all over for me when I almost forced myself on you in the loft. The look in your eyes, you were so repulsed, I wanted to die right there."

"That's not what happened at all!" Cam stepped back and stared at him. "I wanted you so much, Evan. But not unless you truly wanted me, my heart would have shattered if you kissed me just because you felt like it at the moment. I prayed to God that if you didn't feel the same, that you would stop, and you did."

He looked at her strangely, and then laughed. "You mean all this time you thought I wasn't falling in love with you? After all the stupid, crazy stuff I did to impress you?"

Cam grinned and kissed his nose. "You, Mr. Beers, are a very charming man. It's easy to love you. But I was erring on the side of caution."

Evan buried his hands in her hair and pulled her face to his. "It doesn't matter. What matters is that now we know, and we're here, in each other's arms. I need this so much, I can't tell you."

"You've been telling me since you stepped off the plane," Cam replied, allowing him access to her throat. "My heart was breaking for you. If I couldn't reach you today, I don't know what I would have done."

He let his tongue trace a path on her skin. "I would think someone as smart as you would have a plan B."

Cam laughed. "You're tickling me, silly." She sighed, and then shuddered as a chill ran up her spine. "Quit licking me. I'm getting cold!"

"You want me to stop?"

"I want you to continue in a warmer place."

"I'm not kissing your armpit."

"Yuck, Evan!" She pushed at him, and pulled him back before he went anywhere. "You're smiling. I missed your smile more than anything."

He brushed her hair away from her face. "I haven't had anything to smile about for a long time. And I have some major battles ahead that I'm still not sure I'll survive."

"What battles, Evan? You're not ill, are you?" Cam's heart beat in her chest. Life was so fragile, as she well knew from her father's recent death.

"No, at least I'm healthy. There is something else, Cam. Something that could destroy my career, everything I've worked for, and I'm powerless to stop it; I don't know how anyway." He put his arm around her and began walking to the house. "And I don't know why this is happening to me, except that maybe God is trying to show me something. Some lessons are so hard, but I guess I don't have to tell you that."

Cam nodded; the pain from her father's death was still raw at times. "God loves you Evan. He knows your heart, and He knows you have always been faithful."

"Am I truly?" Evan wondered. "I love God, I serve Him, try to be like Him, and lead others to the truth. Nevertheless, I must be lacking somewhere, because He's allowing this episode that could ruin me, and Cam...I don't know what to do. I've always lived my life in the open, without secrets, except where my family is concerned. Their safety and well-being are most important."

Cam stopped and faced him. "So if you have nothing to hide, how could you be ruined?"

"Because people believe what they want to believe. Rumors are often repeated as fact. And when one is the target of a rumor, defending themselves only makes others think there is something to hide. I guess this is where the rubber meets the road, so to speak. My faith may be all I have left."

"You're frightening me," Cam said. "Surely it's not that bad."

"Maybe not. But it sure feels like it." They had reached the house. Matt flew out the door and almost ran into Evan. He jumped into his brother's arms, hugging him, knocking both of them to the ground.

"Evan! I love you man!"

"Why? What did I do?" Evan wondered, putting his brother in a headlock.

"Nothing." Matt choked. "Let go, you gorilla!"

Evan released him. Matt grinned, and put his arm around his brother. "I was at that hayride and I thought to myself, why am I here with these people who are strangers when my brother, who I love is only home for two days?"

Evan was impressed. "You came home just to see me?"

"Yeah, and Kiri's not speaking to me."

"I am too!" protested Kiri, walking out the door. "I was mad that we left, but I got over it."

Matt winked at his brother. "It's the Beers charm. They can't resist."

Evan glanced at Cam. "I'd have to agree with that."

"It certainly isn't the Beers humility," Cam remarked wryly. "Come on, I'll feed you."

They all groaned.

♥

Keith and Sydney arrived home just as the rest were dealing cards for a round of euchre. He and Evan traded jabs then hugged, and all of them sat at the table together, playing, laughing and trying to talk over the rest. Matt took advantage of his brother's inattention to show Kiri his cards, so they won the card game by a huge margin, with Kiri giggling and kicking Matt the whole time. Evan was too distracted to notice his brother was cheating, but it didn't matter anyway, he spent most of the evening making eye contact with Cam, trading smiles. She kept the group filled with baked goods, washed up plates as they finished, and took some ribbing from the rest about her penchant for cleanliness.

When it got late, Matt started to yawn, and Cam took this as her clue that they needed to wrap things up for the night. Tomorrow was a big day, at least for her, and she needed to be up early to do the turkey. She had invited her Aunt Barb, Uncle Butch and grandma to join them but they had other plans and said they might stop by later. So it would be just this little family of sorts, and that suited Cam. Evan needed his brothers more than he needed anyone else and she wanted it to be a special day for him.

"Girls, I think we should call it a night. Let the men rest up for tomorrow."

"Rest up so we can eat tons of food?" Matt asked. "I don't need rest for that."

Evan stood. "I think Cam is telling us she's tired. She's the one doing all the work tomorrow." He stretched, but stopped Cam from leaving just yet. "I want to talk to all of you about something."

"Sounds serious," said Keith.

"It is." Evan crossed his arms. "There's something you need to know, and it's going to affect us all, or I wouldn't bother telling you. It seems some 'respected member of the media', I don't know whom, has confided in a reporter that I'm a closet homosexual. He's come to me to ask, and I didn't know how to deny it, other than to tell him I have no secrets. So, he may call, I told him he was free to investigate the heck out of me."

"Why, Evan?" Matt asked. "What made them think that?"

Evan guffawed. "I'm over thirty, not married; I live with my brothers, I haven't even dated, ever. Someone thinks that's a clue."

"And I know who," said Keith, standing also. "I warned you about this, Evan. When you made an enemy of Cat Randolph, I told you she would try something."

"We don't know it's her," Evan cautioned.

"Please!" Keith hobbled to his brother. "She told you to your face not to cross her if you value your career. How much proof do you need?"

Evan rubbed his hair, making it stick up on his head. "If it is, I don't want to be the one to accuse her. I want to be found blameless, both before God and man, so that God can receive the glory."

"That's very spiritual of you, Evan, but she's going to drag you through the mud, just to see you suffer! You don't have to go down without a fight!" Keith leaned on the table but there was fire in his eyes.

"I won't, Keith. But I won't be the one pointing fingers. I have nothing to hide, nothing at all. My career may not survive this; I know how rumors can take on a life of their own. What matters most to me, though is you and Matt, because you will be hounded and ridiculed on my account."

Keith slipped onto a chair. "Who else knows about this?"

"I don't know for sure," Evan replied. "The reporter said there's a rumor floating around the Christian community. So it could be all over or just one person saying that."

Cam moved to Evan and put her arms around him. "It doesn't matter to us, Evan. We know the truth."

He smiled at her, and then shook his head. "That's a comfort to me, but I'm worried about the bigger picture. If my career goes down the tubes, it will affect not only my family and me; it will hurt my employees who are supporting their families. I can take the hit, I'm secure financially, but they aren't."

"Maybe we should work on damage control," Matt suggested.

"No," replied Evan. "I'm going to pray and seek God, and ask Him to take charge of the situation. I need to see Him work for me, to reward my trust in Him."

Keith was distraught. "I can't sit by and let this happen to you, Evan. It's not fair! You are the most unselfish, straight arrow guy I know. How can anyone attack your character?"

"It's not that, Keith. It's a deliberate attempt to ruin me. That's what hurts the worst." Evan hugged Cam to himself.

"I think we need to pray, right now," Matt said. "For you, Evan, that the truth will be known, and that God will get glory from this."

They all agreed, and joined hands. All of them took turns praying, even Kiri, pouring out their hearts to God to both defend and protect Evan and that somehow, hearts would be turned to Jesus.

"God, your word says that you take whatever the devil intends for evil and change it for good. We thank you that this will happen now, Lord, that out of this situation, you will be glorified and people will come to know you," Matt prayed. "And bless Evan, strengthen him and Lord, tell him we love him because he'll believe you if not us."

Evan broke the prayer circle to hug his young brother, and then drew Keith to himself. "I love you guys, you're the most important thing in the world to me," Evan said, choking on tears.

Cam, Kiri and Sydney slipped out quietly, leaving the brothers to comfort each other. She knew he needed time with them. Tomorrow they would all enjoy each other's company again, and Cam would give him enough love to last until she saw him again.

♥

He wasn't tired, the long nap had energized him, so when his brothers went to bed, Evan stayed up, praying and playing the piano. As happened many times in his career, the prayers he prayed to God while his fingers played idly at the keyboard became a tune. And as he sang, the words became lyrics, the prayer a song, so he found a recorder in his office for his creations so he wouldn't forget. Prayers and music poured out of him from his heart to God and before he knew it, the sun was coming up on the horizon. He had spent the entire night composing, something that hadn't happened in years. Evan sat back on the piano bench and dropped his hands, squeezing his eyes shut.

Oh, God. His words were meant as the start of a prayer of thanks, but his heart was so full of emotion that words failed him. He bent over the piano and laid his head on his arm and wept, the sobs tearing at his insides, making his chest heave. Oh, God...He could barely catch his breath, and he gasped as he cried, pouring his heart out to the Comforter. As he cried, he felt God draw near to him, speaking words of comfort that his soul longed for, the words of love from a Father to a beloved child. Forgive me, Lord, I have kept myself from you, he cried silently. I blamed you for the things happening to me, losing my brothers, my troubles on tour, and even what I am about to go through. But I know it's not you, I know that all good things come from you. Forgive my ungrateful heart and restore me, God. I need you so much. He sobbed for a long time, until he had no tears left, only dry, sore eyes, and muscle spasms in his chest. Finally, exhausted both physically and emotionally, Evan closed the lid to the piano, and waited to catch his breath so he could find strength to move to his bedroom. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and turned to see Cam silently watching him, her eyes filled with compassion. Evan pulled the woman he loved close and kissed her with all that was left in him. She helped Evan to stand upright, letting him use her for a crutch, and almost carried him to his room where he fell onto his bed, fully clothed. Cam pulled covers over him and kissed his forehead.

"Sleep, love." She darkened the room by closing his blinds and curtains, and then slipped out, closing the door behind her.

One more prayer, Evan said silently to God as he felt sleep pulling him under. Don't ever let her leave me; I need her like the air that I breathe. Please let me keep her Lord, and I'll never ask you for another thing.

♥

CHAPTER 34

The smell of roasting turkey called to Evan. He awoke slowly, breathing in deeply, his stomach sending him an urgent message.

"What time is it?" Evan asked aloud, rolling over to look at the clock. He almost jumped out of bed when he saw the alarm. Two o'clock in the afternoon! He had slept half the day away. Throwing off the covers, Evan climbed out of bed and stretched his back before starting a shower. He found a pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt, and then went to join the rest of the family in the fragrant kitchen, but the house was empty except for Cam, whose back was turned from him. She was listening to his first greatest hits CD, humming along with the player, and stirring gravy on the stove. Evan walked quietly behind her and slipped his arms around her waist, kissing Cam on the neck.

"I can't stop stirring this or it will be lumpy," Cam said. "But don't let that stop you."

"It won't," he assured her. He bit her ear lobe, making her laugh and swat at him. "Where's everyone?"

"Outside looking at the car you sent for Matt."

"It's here?" He would have gone to the window to see, but that would mean he had to let go of Cam, and Evan had no desire to do that.

"Yes, it came about a half-hour ago. But Evan, don't get mad...Matt's not very thrilled."

"What do you mean?" He stopped kissing her and went to the window. "It's my mother's car; I kept it all these years for him. He loved that car when he was little. I thought he would be glad to have it."

Cam took the gravy off the burner and set it on the counter. She went to the window with Evan. "I think he was expecting something a little sportier."

Evan was puzzled. "He doesn't want my mom's Pinto?"

The kitchen door opened, and then slammed shut as Matt stomped into the house. "Is he up yet, Cam?"

"Right here," said Evan, stepping away from the window.

"Tell me this is a joke," Matt pleaded. "This is NOT the car you bought for me!"

"I saved it all these years for you, Matt. You loved this car." Evan crossed his arms, frowning.

Matt eyes were angry. "Yeah when I was like, four! And I had a mom to drive me around and didn't know any better." He blinked his eyes, fighting tears. "I can't be seen in this thing, I'll be laughed out of school! Kiri will break up with me for sure."

"I thought you would love this," Evan said.

"I think I'm going to be sick," wailed Matt. "It's a piece of junk."

Evan glared at his brother. "It's a classic! I had it completely overhauled and reupholstered. So it has a little rust. It's still a nice car."

"It...it's ugly!" cried Matt. "I hate it! Thanks for nothing!" Matt spun on his heels and stormed out of the room.

Evan was stricken. "I thought he would be thrilled."

Keith entered the house. "I'll talk to him, Evan." He went to Matt's room.

"Cam, what am I going to do?" Evan asked. "I went through lots of trouble to get that car to him."

"I don't know," Cam answered. "Give him some time. He's used to you buying him the best of everything, and he wants to impress his friends."

"I spoiled him." Evan looked out the window again. "It is a really ugly car." He laughed. "But I'm not going to hand him another one, he has to earn it. It won't kill him to drive this until he earns enough to buy a better one."

Cam hugged Evan. "You're absolutely right. It will mean much more to him if works for it."

Evan kissed her quickly. "It's tough being the older, wiser ones. We're never appreciated."

"Not yet," agreed Cam. She was nearly breathless from his touch and had to calm herself. "I have to finish the gravy and carve the turkey if we're going to eat in a few minutes."

"Ah, the brush off," Evan teased. "I know when I'm not wanted."

Cam slapped him on the arm. "You do not, you were wrong the last time."

He laughed. "So were you, Camellia. I want you more than turkey and dressing. I'd go hungry today if I could have you instead."

"You already did. I let you nibble my ear. Now I have no more power over you." She played with the stubble on his chin. "You need to shave."

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, the Beers men have a tradition. We don't shave on major holidays."

Cam laughed and looked at him slyly. "What a coincidence. We Anderson women do the same thing."

"That doesn't sound as noble," Evan said, wincing. "I don't even want to know." He reached for her again, but she eluded him, and handed him a carving knife instead.

"What are you trying to tell me?" he asked, waving the knife in the air.

She took it from him and led him to the turkey that waited on the counter. "You have seen one too many martial arts movies. Use your samurai skills to carve this bird."

"Yes, Mama-San," Evan replied. "I will make small turkey pieces with my sword."

"And don't cut yourself, or I will never hear the end of it," Cam teased. "You will claim you shed blood for Thanksgiving dinner."

He grinned and sliced a slab of turkey. "The things I do for you, Cam."

"Yes, I know it's demeaning for a man of your stature to do manual labor, but it will make you feel more in touch with us little people." She set plates at the table.

"If I ever become too big for my britches, it's time to quit." He kept slicing. "And God has a way of keeping me humble. It's called having two brothers who point out all my faults, in case I miss them myself."

"I know that feeling," Cam concurred. "Kiri and Sydney don't let any of my bad qualities go unnoticed."

"We are so alike," Evan commented.

Cam laughed. "Yes, except that you're a Christian music superstar, and I can't carry a tune. Other than that, I'm sure it's hard to tell us apart."

He smiled at her and kept on carving. Cam called the others to dinner, and finished setting the table with bowls of food. She need not wonder if Matt would show, the smell alone was enough to draw strangers off the streets. Evan waited as Matt shuffled into the kitchen, his eyes downcast.

"Sit next to me, Matt," Evan said, pointing to a chair.

"I'm sitting next to Kiri," Matt muttered. He sat on the opposite side of the table, his arms crossed, and his eyes avoiding Evan.

"Have some turkey, bro," Evan said, passing the dish to Matt. "I spent all day slaving over a hot stove for you."

Cam elbowed him as she sat in the next chair. "Would you like to say grace, Evan?"

He cleared his throat and stood. "Lord, because of you and your great love for us, we are gathered here today to celebrate this holiday. We thank you, Father for your wonderful mercies, and ask that you bestow a special blessing on Cam, Sydney and Kiri, who have become important people in our lives. And Lord, comfort them on their first holiday without Mr. Anderson. We know he's with you, but that doesn't mean we don't miss him here."

Cam stood also. "Heavenly Father, we ask a special blessing on the Beers brothers who are so generously sharing themselves and their food with us. Please, Lord, be merciful to Evan and clear up this mess he's so worried about. And make him a better person for it."

Keith didn't stand, but spoke anyway. "Lord, I am so very thankful for the home you and Evan provided for Matt and me, and for the wonderful women who join us today. Bless them, Lord. We are already blessed by knowing them."

Sydney patted Keith and kissed his hand. Kiri passed on prayer, and all eyes went to Matt.

"Thank you Lord for Cam, she's the best cook in the world. Don't let her find another job and leave us, or have her go away. Bless Kiri, and keep her from yelling at me too much, and tell Evan I love him no matter what kind of stupid, ugly, worthless..."

"Matt." Cam warned him with her eyes.

"In Jesus name, amen." Matt closed the prayer and bit into his turkey. Evan smirked and helped Cam to pass food around the table. They ate the delicious meal, and when they were finished Cam fed them pumpkin pie until their stomachs protested.

"There's only one thing that could possibly make this day any better," Evan said, looking at Cam lovingly.

Cam blushed to her heels. "What?"

"Football!" Evan grabbed Matt's ball and threw it across the room to Keith, who caught it and sent it back to his brother.

"We don't have enough for a team," Matt said, knocking the football out of Evan's hand. "Do you mind if I call some of my friends?"

"Call away. I'm game," Evan said. "How about you, Cam? Want to play?"

She smiled and high-fived Evan. "Yes! How do you play?"

The men groaned and muttered something about cheerleaders. Cam said she and the girls would run home and change into sweats, and Matt headed for the phone to round up friends. By the time the women returned, the huge front yard filled with teenagers, a few adults, and Matt placed goals at opposite ends.

Evan was the quarterback for his team, naturally, and to Cam's surprise, the pastor of her church was the leader for the other team. They told the women basic rules, such as stay out of the way, but let them be on the teams anyway, since it was only touch football.

"Okay, this is what we're going to do," said Evan as his team huddled around him. "Matt, you go out long and I'm going to fake a pass. I'll slip the ball to Cam and she can run for it."

"Me?" Cam gasped. "What if someone sees me?"

Evan slapped her on the back. "Run for your life so you won't get killed." He broke the huddle and everyone took his or her places. As he called to the team, the play began, and Matt ran. Cam stood waiting for Evan with her hands out.

"Hold it! Time out!" Evan turned to Cam. "You're supposed to act like you're running, but sneak back and take the ball."

"Oh." She made a face. "Why didn't you say so?"

He raised his eyebrows.

"Oh, I get it..." Cam smiled and went back to the row again.

Evan rolled his eyes and began the play again, which bombed because Cam gave away the whole thing.

"Man, Cam, you play football like you sing," Matt said at the next huddle. They tried a few more tactics, none of which included Cam, and managed to score, thanks to Matt's swift feet. However, the pastor had God on his side, he claimed, and went on to victory—at least they were in the lead when the players tired of the game. Cam invited everyone in for snacks, and the game became a party in the house.

While the teenagers played charades in the family room, the adults gathered in the kitchen, living room and piano room. Cam and Evan managed to stay close together most of the time, with Evan staying in the kitchen helping Cam serve food and keep drinks flowing. They had to send Sydney and Keith out for snacks and soda for the crowd, but Cam had plenty of baked goods on hand, making Evan wonder how much time she actually spent baking for today. She seemed to have an endless supply.

Evan opened a can of soda and sipped as he watched Cam cut into yet another pie, setting a slice on a plate for the pastor. She was smiling, listening, and encouraging her pastor to eat.

"Cam, you use food to show love, and we all appreciate it, but we are going to be a very large congregation, and I'm not talking numbers," he said, patting his stomach. "We're going to have to start a weight loss program at the church."

"If I didn't have my boys and the church to feed, I'd be baking for strangers on the street," Cam agreed. "When Evan offered me this job I thought I'd died and went to heaven. I'm never going to be a career woman, but as far as being fulfilled in a job, I'm there."

"When your mother was alive, she told me you had more of a mothering instinct than she did," Pastor said. "Before she died, we prayed together concerning all three of you, but she was confident you would be able to do the housework."

"I was doing it before she became ill," Cam remembered. "It was the most natural thing in the world to me."

Evan moved to Cam's side and put his arm around her waist. "Matt loves Cam like a mother."

"He's told me," Pastor told him. "You made him a very happy guy, Evan, letting him live here. He's a great kid, the best, a role model for the other kids in the church. I wish I had ten like him. We'd evangelize teenagers all over the city."

"He's committed to Christ," Evan said. "I'm sure of that. I was so worried about leaving him here; I've always taken care of him and we've never been apart before. But Cam has everything under control. Matt respects and obeys her, and I'm real thrilled with the way things have turned out here." He tapped Cam behind her back. She smiled.

"It's been terribly hard on Evan to be away from his family," Cam told the Pastor. "Please keep him in your prayers."

"Certainly. Will you be joining us Sunday, Evan?"

Evan shook his head. "I'm leaving in the morning for a Christmas concert tour. But I'll be back at Christmas to hear your choir director's Cantata."

Cam laughed. "That will be quite a trick since we have no choir, no band, not even a soloist. I'll just buy a soundtrack from one of Evan's past Christmas concerts. That would be pretty much what we're used to anyway."

"I'll tell you what, Evan," Pastor said, "If you ever decide to change careers, I'll have a position for you as music director at the church."

Evan laughed and squeezed Cam. "And steal Cam's job? I'd never hear the end of it."

"Steal it, please," Cam deadpanned. "I can find something else to do."

Matt and his friends decided to go to the barn, and the crowd began to thin as the adults left to rejoin their own families. Evan wanted to find some time alone with Cam before the night was over, but it looked like this would be a late party. Most likely, he would not see her again until the concert in Detroit, if she made it, and he needed to let her know that he would still feel the same about her as he did now. He wanted to be sure that she still wanted him, that she was as anxious for Christmas as he was. But even though most people had left, she was still busy with others and the cleanup in the kitchen. One of the teenagers asked Evan if they could talk about a career in Christian music, so he sat for quite some time talking about his life in the business. Cam joined him when she could, but there was always one more person to speak to, one more chore that needed to be done. It was well after midnight when the last teenagers left and even later than that when Matt and Keith would go to bed. Evan knew that Cam was exhausted, she was trying to hide it, but he could see the tiredness in her eyes as she listened to Matt talk excitedly about the day. She looked too tired to drive.

"Cam, why don't I drive you home and pick you up tomorrow morning when it's time to go to the airport?" Evan asked.

"No, I'm fine," she replied, though her eyes told him otherwise.

Evan found her coat and keys, and then insisted he take her home. "Your sisters aren't ready to leave, and you have had a full day, little girl. You need your rest."

"Honest, Evan, you don't have to take me home." Cam stopped him at the door. "You're leaving in the morning; don't you want to spend as much time as possible with your brothers?"

"Aw, if you've seen one of my brothers you've seen them all," Evan claimed, opening the door for her. "Let me do this for you."

She smiled and went outside. He held the car door for her, and then went to the driver's side. "I promise not to get lost in the country again."

"If you didn't have to leave tomorrow I'd let you," Cam said. She rubbed her eyes tiredly. "I'm so glad you came home. Today was wonderful."

"Yesterday was wonderful, too." Evan touched her hair. "And this morning when you helped me to bed. How long were you here before I saw you?"

She closed her eyes. "For a while. I wondered if it was always like that when you composed, so exhausting, leaving you so drained."

"No, that was God, Cam, in a way I haven't felt in so long that I'm ashamed to tell you. I've been far from Him, really. This last tour was so hard, and I was under tremendous pressure to produce another CD. And Matt wanted out. I felt like my world was falling apart. Then all this, and even you."

Me?" asked Cam, opening her eyes.

He moved closer to her. "You."

She stroked his cheek. "The music that you were playing this morning was beautiful. I could tell it came from your heart; it was pouring out of you."

"I couldn't have stopped it if I tried." Evan kissed Cam gently. "That's when I know it's real, and it's from God. But this morning was something more than just that. God spoke to me, and touched me, and forgave me for ignoring him all these months."

"You needed that." Cam said in an understatement.

Evan agreed. "I need something else, too." He searched her eyes. "I need you too, Cam. Not because you're the world's greatest cook, or because you can run the household like a military base, I need you because you fill the missing parts in me. You challenge me, and encourage me; you make me want to prove myself to you."

Cam's eyes were steady on his, giving Evan the answer he had been seeking since their last time together.

"Do you think we have something that could last?" Evan asked, searching for but not finding the right words.

"I think that we are two people who have found the one we waited for all of our lives," Cam answered. "And for me, I know it was God's hand that brought us together, and our commitment to our families that kept us apart."

"What do you mean?" Evan asked. "We could have been together sooner?"

"No, I mean that both you and I never dated, our lives consisted of God and family. Because of our commitment to them, we come to each other clean, no other persons in our past. And if things work out between us, we will give each other a most precious gift, something no one else has ever had."

Cam blushed and looked at Evan sharply. "Uh, I guess I'm assuming on your part."

He laughed. "I've had many chances. Apparently, a man holding a guitar is a turn-on for women. But no, I had to answer to God for my behavior, and I didn't want to risk disaster by my own actions. My whole life, if not my career is based on commitment to God, so if I'm going to sing about it, I'd better be doing it also."

She sighed slightly, but he heard her anyway, and smiled to himself. He didn't like to think of her with anyone else either, and was very pleased that she had kept herself from sin also. He had wanted, but not expected someone who was as pure, sexually as he was, and it was almost too good to be true that Cam felt the same way.

Evan turned the car around and drove to the gate. It had been left open, with the amount of company that they had today, so he drove on through and took Cam home. Her house was dark except for a single light over the kitchen sink, and he walked her to her door, but didn't ask to go inside, knowing how tired she was.

"I'll be here at seven-thirty," Evan said, gathering her close to him. He inhaled deeply of her cologne. "What's the name of that perfume? I want to spray it all over my house in Nashville."

"I'm not sure," Cam replied. "I think it might be cinnamon, or turkey gravy, or sage from the dressing."

"No, serious," he laughed. "I know the food smells. I can go to any restaurant for that."

"I honestly don't know the name," Cam said, "But come in and I'll go look."

He kept her from moving, holding onto her hands with his. "It's not important. I'm going to leave so you can get some rest, and tomorrow I'll buy a bottle to keep with me."

"Yes, that will be lovely, you having woman's cologne in your pockets."

Evan grinned. "I'd get myself in a heap of trouble. Guess you'll have to travel with me to prove it's yours."

Cam laughed, swatting at him. "That's even worse! Now you're shacking up on tour with your girlfriend!"

"I can't win." Evan made a face. "What's more terrible than all that is I'm leaving alone, again. But at least I know I have someone to come home to when the tour is over." He wrapped his arms around Cam and claimed her lips again, kissing her, pressing his body against hers. She was warm and fragrant, and making him dizzy from her touch as her hands moved up his back to the hair that was now growing over his collar. He sighed and closed his eyes as she twisted her fingers, massaging his head.

"Cam," he whispered, "I want so much more than just tonight."

She held his face with her hands and kissed him deeply, then stepped back. "There will be time for us, later. We both have duties and responsibilities that we can't ignore. Matt and Kiri need me, and you have the tour."

"But we have Christmas," Evan reminded her. "I'm staying for almost ten days; at least that's the plan."

"I certainly hope so," said Cam, her hands playing with his shirt collar. "Although I have a feeling that you might want to work on your next CD now that you have songs."

He shrugged. "It can wait. If it's as good as I think it's going to be, it doesn't matter when it hits the market, I'll still have a winner on my hands. I'm not worried about that. I'm more concerned about you and me, and this new, cool thing we have going."

"Me too, Evan. I feel like I'm dreaming. If it is a dream, I don't want to ever wake up." Cam leaned into him and he wrapped her in his arms, resting his chin on her head.

"So you'll meet me in Detroit? And bring your sisters?"

"We'll all be there," she promised. "In Matt's Pinto."

Evan laughed. "It's a good car! Looks aren't everything, as Sydney says."

Cam closed her eyes, snuggling close to him, savoring his touch, the feel of him against her and the scent that was only he. She was so tired that she could fall asleep in his arms...what a pleasant thought, Cam sighed. To spend nights in his arms, to listen to him breath, feel his warmth against her...and other, more wonderful things that married couples experience...Oh God, she prayed, please let him keep me. He is all I've ever wanted, and I want to spend my life showing him how wonderful he is, I want to be the one to love him and comfort him and share his life and body. Could I, Lord?

Evan feared Cam was falling asleep standing up, so he stepped back, opening her door for her, and felt his pocket to make sure he had her car keys.

"Go get some rest, Cam. I'll be here in the morning."

She was loath to leave him, but nodded and kissed him one more time. "I'll be ready. Tell your brothers that breakfast will be late tomorrow."

"When I come back at Christmas, you're going to be on vacation also," Evan stated. "Or better yet, I'll demand you spend all your time with me, and I'll pay you anyway."

"I don't care what anyone says, you're the best boss I ever had," Cam teased, stepping into the house. "Be careful driving home."

"I'll be thinking of you the whole time," Evan declared.

"You really need to get out more," Cam laughed. "I love you, Evan. See you in the morning."

"I love you too, Cam." He grinned at her for a moment, and then went to the car. She waited while he drove away, then fell into her bed, trying to recall every moment of the day, from early in the morning when she had found him weeping at the piano, to tonight, when they had spoken words of love. Tomorrow he would be gone again, and Cam had no guarantee he would still feel the same about her at Christmas. Her feelings would not change, she was sure, but his life was so full, and he was in contact with so many people, why would he choose her when there were so many other more beautiful, talented women? In her heart, however, she was sure he was serious, and Cam knew he would not lie to her. He said he needed her, and Cam was sure she could be anything he needed her to be, as long as he didn't ask her to sing. He loves me, Cam thought, her stomach fluttering again. And I love him, I truly do, more than I should for as little time as I've known him, but I'm not going to let anything separate us other than distance. This will be proof to him of my devotion, to make him loved no matter where he is, or how far apart we are. I will make our time together so special he will want to return.

Cam pulled off her clothes and prepared for bed. Evan would be here early and she wanted to look her best for him. She forced all thoughts from her head so she could sleep. God, she prayed as she closed her eyes, bless him and help him through these next weeks until I see him again. Help him to not feel alone, and remind him he is loved. And bring him home to me again, I need him so much. She reached out and turned off the bedroom lamp. Goodnight, Evan. I can't wait to see you again tomorrow.

♥

CHAPTER 35

Cam was ready at seven. She knew that he would be early, and she was waiting at the door when he pulled into the driveway. He jumped out of the car just as she ran out of the house, and he caught her to him, kissing her with gusto.

"Good morning, Cam, sleep well?" he asked, setting her on her feet again.

"Yes, but I'm so glad to see you this morning. Did you eat?"

He laughed. "No, but I assure you I won't starve in the few hours it takes me to get to Nashville. I'll get something just before I leave on the tour."

"How are you getting from city to city?" Cam walked to her car with him.

He opened the car door for her. "My bus. It's so much more convenient than catching planes or renting hotel rooms. Plus I can do business on the road, which I'll be doing every day between shows. It's comfortable for me."

"Will you be able to get online?" Cam asked. "Will we be able to talk?"

Evan went to the driver's side and started the car. "I'll call you, as much as I can. I'll be able to check my e-mail once in a while. It's only about three weeks until Detroit. I'll get you girls a hotel room."

"And you men will stay in the bus?"

He thought for a moment. "No, I'll get us a room at the same hotel. Keith needs the whirlpools for his legs. I'm going to have a hot tub installed for him as a Christmas present. He's been without one since he moved, and he really needs therapy on his legs."

"Do you want me to take care of that?" Cam asked. "I can call a place here in Elkhart."

"Would you?" He turned onto the street. "I'm getting to know my way around."

"Evan, would you ever consider living here? Or will you need to stay in Nashville?"

He glanced at her. "Honestly, I can't see how I could live here, with my career. I'd have to spend so much time flying back and forth, and I really don't want to live half my life in the air. Matt and Keith are welcome to stay, but for me, home has to be Nashville."

Cam listened, wondering— if things between them became serious, and she had to choose, what would she do? Matt and Kiri needed her, she couldn't leave them, but she knew they would not want to leave Indiana either. Her first priority was family, despite her feelings for Evan. Would he understand and wait for her? It was at least two years until Matt and Kiri went to college, if Kiri even did. If they chose a local school, like Notre Dame or Indiana University they would expect to have a home to live in here. How would Cam and Evan reconcile his career to Matt and Kiri's needs?

Evan must have been thinking the same thing, because he said thoughtfully, "Matt needs stability right now and at least until he goes to college, if he goes away. I think Keith will be here to stay also. When Matt gets a little older I know he'll take care of Keith, but I don't want to push Matt into being a grown-up until he's ready. I want him to enjoy being a teenager."

Cam's heart sank as she realized that no matter how they felt for each other, most likely it would be years before they could express it the way she wanted. That seemed like a lifetime away.

"Of course, I could insist Matt come to live with me," Evan said. "But he would resent me forever."

"No, you promised, and you're a man of your word."

Evan glanced at her. "Yes, I am a man of my word. I want you to know that my feelings for you are not going to change whether I'm here or a thousand miles away."

"Me either, Evan." She took his hand and kissed it. "I want you to know that you will always have a home here and someone who waits for you. I promise."

Evan squeezed her hand. "I'm counting on that to get me through the lonely days ahead."

Cam's heart hurt for him, and wished she could keep him with her but of course, his career was very important, and she had no right to ask. Their separation was easier on her; she had family with her and his music to play whenever she wanted. She decided to send him daily e-mail, and to be available to him if he called on the phone.

"We've got plenty of time, do you want to get some breakfast?" Cam asked him. "There's a local restaurant where you get four eggs for the price of two."

Evan grinned. "Really? I'll bet that thrills your thrifty little heart. I could eat, if you want. I knew I wouldn't get away from here without one more meal."

She slapped at him. "I'm not trying to feed you; I just thought we could find something to do before the plane leaves."

"I can think of something better than eating," he said slyly.

Cam blushed. "Really, Mr. Beers."

"Unfortunately, we're in public, and it would be just like me to have my picture taken and splashed all over a tabloid." Evan laughed, but looked longingly at Cam. "I hate being a responsible adult."

Cam ran her finger along his sleeve to his neck. "At Christmas, when you come home, meet me in the loft. We can lock the trapdoor shut...and spend some quality time together. I'll let you kiss me as much as you want."

Evan groaned and clutched at his shirt. "Cam, don't play with my heart like this."

"Oh, honey, I'm not playing." Cam tossed her hair saucily.

"I think I'll just pull the car over and let you drive," Evan said. "I'm a little...distracted at the moment."

Cam laughed and kissed his cheek. "You are so funny. Here's that restaurant I told you about, on the left. Try not to get us kicked out."

"Me?" Evan pulled into the lot, which was almost full, even though it was early. "Is this place always busy?"

Cam wondered herself. "This is the biggest shopping day of the year, remember? All the stores open mega-early. That's probably why there are so many people out already."

"We won't be able to wait long. Do you think we can be in and out in a half hour?"

"Maybe, if no one recognizes you." They went inside and waited while the hostess found them a booth in the non-smoking section, surrounded by early morning shoppers and retirees. Evan sat facing the window across from Cam. When the waitress asked them if they wanted coffee, Cam saw recognition in her face, and steeled herself for the inevitable flood of fans. But none came, and the waitress treated them like all the others, except that their food was delivered much faster than the other tables. And it was perfectly cooked. Cam smiled to herself. There were some benefits of being in the company of a celebrity. When they were finished, the waitress said that she would buy their meal if Evan would leave his autograph, but he insisted on paying the bill, and tipped generously, thanking her for allowing them to eat in peace.

At the airport, Evan checked his bag and returned to Cam. They went through the metal detector, which Evan set off because he had Cam's car keys in his pocket.

"That would have been a disaster, if you flew away with my keys," Cam remarked. "I'd have to call Sydney to get me, and she couldn't find this airport if she tried."

Evan gave her the keys and walked through the metal detector again, this time successfully. "I should have a separate set made for me, or get a car to keep here."

"Don't go through all that expense," Cam said. "Matt and Keith will both be driving before Christmas. You can borrow one of their cars when you're home."

"And be seen in a Pinto?" Evan gasped, imitating Matt. "You'll break up with me for sure."

"Not," laughed Cam. "But I might hide under the seat."

Evan selected seats in the waiting area and pulled Cam close beside him. "I can't kiss you like I want to here, but when I come home for Christmas baby, those lips are mine."

"I'll miss you, Evan. I wish your tour was televised so I could see it before Detroit."

"I can have someone copy it and send it to you," he suggested.

"Don't go out of your way," Cam said, taking his hand in hers. "You're going to be busy; I don't want you to worry about anything else but music."

"Speaking of music, I left the disc I made the other night in the recorder." Evan grimaced. "I need it to work on songs in my free time."

Cam thought for a moment. "I guess I'll send it to you, but where?"

"My first night is in Atlanta, and then we go to Florida. I guess you could send it to the concert hall and have the management deliver it to me." He looked at his watch. "Boy, if I had the time I'd run home. I really need that disc."

"I'll get it to you, I promise," Cam said. "I'll overnight it to Atlanta today."

He seemed pleased. "That will work. Thanks, Cam."

Cam smiled and let him steal a kiss. The airline attendant called for boarding of his plane, and they both stood reluctantly. She walked with him to the gate and he kissed her quickly before walking outside.

"Just a couple more weeks until Detroit," Evan said as he left.

"I'll meet you there," replied Cam. She watched him as he boarded the plane, and then stayed in the terminal until he was in the sky. Remembering she had two other men waiting at home to be fed, she went back to her car. There were roses on the hood with a note attached.

I love you Cam. Listen to song number three on the disc. It's about you. Evan.

She put the roses in the car and hurried to the house. Cam found a blank disc and set the computer to burn the first one so she would have a copy of her own. The first two songs were of loneliness and God's comfort. They would be very nice after he added more music. Cam tried to memorize them, but gave up and moved on to the third song.

It was a love song; there was no mistaking it. Evan sang about how little droplets of affection build a river of love, and how a flood of emotion can be tamed into a lifetime of devotion. Cam closed her eyes, imagining Evan singing at the piano, his hands moving along the keys. How she wished she were sitting next to him now, listening to him compose, watching him stop and write notes. She took the disc in the kitchen with her as she prepared breakfast for the brothers, who were up now and showering or watching television, leaving her alone.

As the disc ended, or rather the songs Evan composed; a new sound was heard, Evan weeping, his sobs becoming louder, the music stopping completely. Cam sat in front of the player, listening closely. He cried so long the disc ran out and stopped. Cam removed the original and put it in her purse to send to Evan, but she kept the other disc and played it again, up to the weeping. Then she shut it off, feeling like an intruder. Evan hadn't realized he left the recorder running, and Cam debated whether to send him a modified version that left his cries out. In the end, she sent him the original since it was his. She kept the copy, and played it all day, until Matt begged her to turn it off, saying he was so sick of Evan's voice he could barf.

"That voice pays the bills," Cam reminded Matt. "And my salary."

"So tell, me Cam," Matt said, leaning on the kitchen counter. "What am I going to do about that car? I can't drive it. It's so gross!"

"You'll think of something, I'm sure."

He thought for a moment. "My friends at church said we could paint it, like make it a work of art."

Cam nodded. "Make it as unique as you are. Then they would all envy you."

Matt smiled. "Yeah, that's cool. We'll do it all sixties style, with peace signs and stuff. I like that."

Cam patted him on the back. "Kiri will help you. She loves art."

"Yeah, she'll want to do the painting. I'd better let her to keep her happy." He started to move away, but stopped and made an odd face. "Cam can I ask you something?"

"Sure, Matt, anything." Cam sat at the counter.

He hesitated, and then looked worried. "You and Evan were, like all over each other yesterday. It was real noticeable. Are you guys sort of in love?"

Cam bit her lip but answered honestly. "Yes, we've begun a relationship."

"Are you going to marry him and leave here?"

"That's a long way off, Matt." Cam touched his arm. "I don't know what's going to happen between Evan and me but we won't ask you to leave Indiana."

He didn't look convinced. "Evan has to be in Nashville. He won't want to stay here."

"No, but he knows you want to stay. Evan loves you Matt, and he wants you to be happy."

"But what if he wants you in Nashville? Evan always gets his way."

Cam shook her head. "You are very important to both of us, Matt. We won't make a decision for a long time; we're not remotely close to that in our relationship. However, when we do, it will be for the good of all of us, not just what Evan and I want, you know that."

"He'll want you with him, Cam." Matt tapped his fingers on the counter. "He doesn't have Keith and me; he'll say he needs you."

"It's both of our decision," Cam argued. "And it's way too early to think about it. Please, Matt don't worry about it. Evan won't hurt you."

Matt sighed. "No, he won't, on purpose. But he does sometimes, Cam. I always do what he wants; well I did until all this. I don't really matter; it's what affects his career. Sometimes I wish he had a normal job, like everyone else. We can't do anything normal."

Cam frowned. "You live here, and go to school. That's pretty normal."

"Well yes, on the surface." Matt looked at the floor. "Everyone knows now, who my brother is. It's not a secret, since he pops up everywhere in this town, church and stuff. Word spreads fast. Now everyone is treating me different, either with this awe, kissing up to me, or they don't like me, they're like, jealous. I didn't want anyone to know, I wanted them to like me for me, and now they never will."

"Not true, Matt. Your true friends will love you for you."

He laughed shortly. "Right. My true friends all came running yesterday to be around Evan."

"They can't help being a little star struck, Matt. But they'll get over it. I did, remember?"

Matt looked at her sharply. "Did you? You're crazy about him, you always were, you know. You're his biggest fan. Are you telling me that didn't affect your feeling for him? Would you have wanted him if he was a factory worker?"

Cam worded her answer carefully. "I was and am his biggest fan. That will never change. I'm in love with the man I met online, your brother, Evan Beers. He's both men—and really, we can't separate them. And yes, I about fainted when I met him. It was so overwhelming at first, but as I discovered the man he truly was, I was even more enamored of him. There's so much more to him than his music, and Matt, I want that part of him. Just like I want the part of you that's not just Evan's kid brother. I want to know Matt Beers, who is funny and sweet and caring."

"I'm different than Evan."

"Yes, and I'm glad. I like you just the way you are, Matt."

He smiled. "I like you too, Cam. Even when you nag me."

"I don't," she chided him. "I'm just giving you reminders."

"Nagging," he repeated. "You're bossy. But I like that. A mom would do that."

Cam's heart hurt for him and his need to be mothered. She put her arms around Matt. "I only nag you because I love you, and want you to grow to be a responsible, productive adult."

"Do you wish, Cam, that you had a son?" Matt asked.

"Yes, I do," she admitted. "One just like you. Maybe you and I could kind of arrange something, so that we can have what we want. Why don't you pretend I'm your mom and I'll pretend you're my son?"

"That's stupid," Matt replied though he seemed pleased.

"It'll be our secret," Cam assured him. "You can call me mom and say you're just teasing me."

He made a face, but his head was nodding. "Okay, mom."

"Good." She kissed him and sent him out of the kitchen while she prepared dinner.

♥

CHAPTER 36

For Cam, the days leading up to the trip to Detroit were so eventful; she barely had time to miss Evan; only five or six times during the day and all night, she mused. His presence was everywhere to her, both in his house, and at home with Cam's sisters. She played his music constantly to the point of distraction, but it made her feel close to him in the times she was not able to talk or write to him on the computer. He called once in a while, and e-mailed even less, but his affection for her remained strong. Cam also sent him notes of love and letters filling him in on the daily happenings at the newly named Beers Compound. The alarm people had visited and installed electric fencing and closed circuit cameras to view visitors, and they wired the gate to open both by code and from the house. Matt complained they were living in a prison, but Keith explained it was necessary to ensure Matt and the women's safety.

"We're Christians," protested Matt. "We're supposed to open our doors to the lost and lead them to Christ. How will we do that if we make this place a fortress?"

"We can invite them here," Keith said. "And your friends are welcome; they just have to stop at the gate to be let inside. We have to protect Evan, Matt. He's a celebrity, and people think they own him."

"All I know is this stinks," Matt whined. "I'm so sick of being Evan's brother."

"Matt you don't mean that," Cam cautioned. "You're tired of his notoriety, not that he is your brother. He would be so hurt to hear you say that."

"I want a normal life." Matt crossed his arms and glared at Cam and Keith.

Keith leaned forward in Matt's face, his anger building. "You won't ever have a normal life, Matt. Most guys your age don't have a millionaire brother who buys them a house in a strange city so they can go to school. Most guys don't have a car shipped to them, and most don't have everything they ever asked for in the way of material things." He put his finger on Matt's chest. "And some people can't walk like you, Matt. Some have to struggle for every step. So don't tell me you hate your life. I'd trade with you in a second."

"You don't get it at all," Matt shouted. "I'm not ungrateful! I thought when we moved here I could be just me, Matt, not Evan Worthy's little brother. I've never been my own person, and neither have you, Keith. I thought here we would finally have a chance."

Keith shook his head in disagreement. "What's made of your life is up to you. You will only live in Evan's shadow if you let yourself. I've learned from moving here and meeting Sydney that I can have my own life, but it's something I make. I was living in Evan's shadow, and I thought I was happy there. Now I see what I was missing out on, and I'm building a life with Sydney."

"Are you not happy here, Matt?" Cam asked.

"Yes, I'm happier than ever," Matt replied. "Living here is the greatest, except for the fortress and everyone wanting to be my friend because of Evan."

"So what can we do for you?" Keith asked. "Tear down the fence? Keep your friends away from Evan?"

"I don't know," Matt admitted. "I don't have any room to complain, and I want you to know I'm glad to be here, I just want to keep it simple, to live, you know?"

"Then live," said Keith. "Be yourself, Matt. Ignore the ones who want to use you. I know you can spot them a mile away. And forget about the fence and gate; be glad we can protect Evan and give him a safe, private place to call home when he's here."

Matt put his hands in his pocket sighing. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm sorry..."

Keith hugged his brother, and held on to him as the two walked to Matt's room. "Kiri's mad at you again, isn't she?"

Matt nodded miserably.

"She gets over it, doesn't she?" Keith asked.

"Yeah, but she hurts me all the time. She says I don't pay enough attention to her and that I like my friends better than Kiri. But I don't, Keith. I try every day to show her how much I love her."

Keith sighed sympathetically. "Kiri can be difficult. Did you ever think about breaking up with her and finding someone more like you?"

Matt was aghast. "No way, she's my girl, I don't want anyone else. I just don't want to fight all the time. Would you talk to her, Cam?"

Cam was well aware of her sister's hot and cold behavior toward Matt. Most of the time she loved him fiercely, but if she was feeling insecure or unsure, if she was around her time of the month, she hid her anxiety behind biting words and unbecoming manners. Cam and Sydney were used to it, but Matt was so tenderhearted and incapable of understanding Kiri's temperament. She decided to have a talk with Kiri and remind her that she needed to be Christ-like in her actions toward others, especially the ones for whom she cared the most.

"I will, Matt. Be patient with her, she really does care for you. She hurts you because you let her."

He frowned, thinking, and went to his room with Keith. Cam finished cleaning the kitchen and decided to go home for the evening, chiding herself that she had once again spent more time here than he paid her. The men were probably getting tired of her presence at their house.

At home, she sat with Kiri and discussed Matt, listening to her sister list all her reasons for being angry with him, none of which was important enough to matter.

"Are you unhappy being Matt's girlfriend?" Cam asked. "Do you want to break up and date other guys?"

"No!" Kiri exclaimed. "I love Matt. I just want to know he loves me best. Shouldn't he show it?"

"How can he prove it to you, Kiri? By not talking to anyone but you? By buying you flowers, following you around, hanging on your every word? What do you need?" Cam asked.

"I don't know!" Kiri cried, wiping at her eyes. "Every day, Patti Carroll finds an excuse to be near him, to hog the conversation, and she tells her friends who tell my friends that it's just a matter of time before Matt dumps me for her!" Kiri sniffed and blew her nose. "What if he does?"

"It won't help if you drive him away," Cam said gently. "Picking on him, demanding things from him—they don't make him love you more. Find ways to show him he's special, that he's wonderful, your best friend. He needs this, not criticism or bullying."

"I always want him to prove to me that he cares."

Cam brushed her sister's hair off her shoulder. "He's going to find someone who doesn't hurt him and belittle him if you keep this up, Kiri. I don't mean to be harsh, but I wouldn't stick around as long as he has. I'm not telling you to do anything stupid, just to act like you appreciate him. He doesn't ask much of you, please, honey, be nice to him."

"I will, Cam. I do love him so much. I just get scared."

"We all do, sometime. Matt too, he's so worried about you and losing this wonderful life he has now. You need to help each other, to support one another, Kiri. That's what love is about."

"Do you love Evan now?" Kiri set her used tissue on the table, making Cam grimace as she tried to ignore it.

"Yes, I do, Kiri. Isn't it crazy? All the Anderson girls are in love with the Beers brothers." She snatched the dirty tissue and threw it in the garbage. "Dad would have been so amused to see his daughters with their new boyfriends."

"For sure," Kiri agreed. "We never thought we would see the day you had a boyfriend. Dad said he'd have to pay someone to take you off his hands."

Cam felt a stab of hurt. Her father said that? Didn't he realize that she sacrificed her own happiness for her family? That she was committed to them no matter the cost to herself? And that she didn't have a choice? My own father thought no one would have me, Cam thought sadly. If not for Evan...maybe no one would. Cam suddenly felt tired.

"I'm going to bed, Kiri. Promise me you'll call or e-mail Matt tonight and make things right again."

"I will, Cam. Thanks for being honest with me." Kiri hugged her sister and carried her cup to the sink. "I'll do the dishes tonight. You get some rest."

Cam smiled half-heartedly and moved toward her room.

"Oh, and Cam?" Kiri set her cup on the counter and turned. "I'm glad you and Evan like each other. I was hoping you would, you're perfect for one another."

"I know, Kiri, we're both bossy."

"No, I mean you're both...I think you'll make each other happy."

"Happy is good. See you in the morning." Cam went to her room and undressed, wondering what else her family said that she didn't know. And why it hurt her so bad. She knew they loved her, and she knew Evan did also. So why did it bother her so that her family decided no one would want her? She tried so hard to be all things to them, a mother, sister, maid, teacher, whatever it took to raise her sisters, Cam tried to do it all. And it wasn't appreciated, was it?

"Cam?" Kiri knocked on the bedroom door and entered. "Where's the dish soap?"

"Under the sink. I keep it there always."

"Okay, I won't bother you again." Kiri closed the door but Cam heard her humming as she worked. Maybe Cam needed to give her more responsibility instead of doing everything for Kiri. And Sydney. Was it possible Sydney could be taught to be productive and less ethereal? Cam decided to find a way to make her sisters more independent. If something did happen with Evan, she needed to know they would be able to live on their own. Cam wasn't going to be here forever and miss her chance to have the life she dreamed of with Evan. Kiri would need her a few more years then Cam would be free to leave, if Evan still wanted her. It was such a long time...and he had so many better choices...what if he changed his mind about her? What if he found someone beautiful, glamorous, who could sing? Cam tried to squelch the bad thoughts but she had to face facts. Evan loved her now, but she was not the best catch. How would she compete with all those perfect women who made themselves available to Evan? Surely, he would want the best for himself.

Cam lay on her bed, her head beginning to pound. I shouldn't think this way, I'm just tired, missing Evan, and hurt because my dad said something cruel, even though I'm sure he didn't mean it. Tomorrow she would feel better. She would write to Evan, tell him how much she loved him, and keep his house clean until he returned home to her. Then she would show him how deeply she cared with kisses to remember on his nights away. If he didn't return her affection, she would deal with it then, but for now, she had to believe he would.

♥

CHAPTER 37

The reporter that was dogging Evan's footsteps caught up to him in Washington D.C. on the first night of his concert series on the eastern seaboard.

"I've talked to everyone but your family about you," Thomas informed him. "I saved them for last; they're not a very good source anyway. I know from experience they'll just defend you and try to convince me how wonderful you are."

"Did I mention my youngest brother is a teenager?" Evan asked, sorting through music casually as if having this irritating man around wasn't bothering him in the least. "He considers it his mission in life to point out all my faults. I guess that keeps me humble, or at least informed."

"I also took you up on your offer to let me search your apartment," Thomas said, handing Evan his door key. "Your plants were dying so I watered them. And you're late on your electric bill. You really should send a check so you'll have lights when you return home."

Evan laughed lightly, though he was growing angry at the intrusion of this man in his life. "Did you check my e-mail for me?"

"No, but I listened to messages on your answering machine."

Evan clenched his hands into fists. "I hope you didn't erase anything."

"Of course not. Who's Cam?"

"My girlfriend. Why?" Evan placed the music in a folder and crossed his arms.

"Isn't she the housekeeper for your brothers?" Thomas sorted through notes he had written in a small book. "You're dating an employee?"

"Your point?" Evan stared at Thomas.

Thomas shrugged. "Just asking. She left a real nice message. My own wife doesn't say things like that to me, and I send her flowers once a year."

"Cam is very supportive. She makes me feel..." Evan stopped, unwilling to share her with the man who was belittling their relationship.

"So you're an item? Or did you set me up so I'd think you had a girl?" Thomas looked skeptical. "She's a little too good to be true, if you ask me."

Evan gave him a deadly look. "I know she's too good for me, I don't deserve her. But I'll tell you this, Thomas. No matter what you write about me, it won't affect my relationship with her. If I lose everything I have, my career, my company, my shirt, and end up with her, I'll have everything I've ever wanted in my life, someone who loves me just as I am. I don't want you talking to her. Write what you must, but keep her out of this."

"Now you've really got my interest," commented Thomas. "I thought I had you all figured out till I heard her message to you. Now I'm finding a whole new angle."

Closing the file and stuffing it under his arm, Evan again shot Thomas a warning look. "I'm not kidding. She's hands off, got it? I don't want her bothered."

Thomas didn't answer, and Evan was afraid he might throttle the man so he walked away, never turning around to see if he was still watching. As Evan opened the door to his dressing room, he heard Thomas calling to Mitch, and Mitch barking at him to get lost. Evan laughed to himself. Thank you, Mitch for saying what I couldn't. He went to a phone and called his answering machine to hear Cam's voice. She told him that they had found a barn cat and named it Killer though it hadn't actually done anything but scratched Matt when he tried to pet it. She said both of the men passed their driving tests, Matt in the newly painted Pinto, and Keith in a car with modified controls so he could operate the gas and brakes by his hands. Cam said that she had found a place with horses for Matt, but they would not look without Evan, and then her voice changed, as she grew wistful.

"I listened to that song again, well actually I listen to that whole disc to the point that Matt begs me to turn it off, he'll wash dishes if I do. But Evan, I need you to know that even with you claiming the song is for me, it's also a song of love from the Father to us, you and me for example. I think you should present it on the recording as such, as a gift from God to a broken-hearted man. No man I know can reach the heart of God like you and present it to us in such a simple yet honest manner. So plan to work on this when you come home for Christmas. I think it's so very important to get this message to others. We can spend time together later, well except that I promised to let you kiss me all you want in the loft."

She laughed. "Oh, Evan, I dream about that. I can hardly wait. I've been up in the loft twice just to imagine you and me together. Matt would be rolling his eyes if he heard me say that. Yesterday he said it was kind of weird thinking about old people like us kissing. Don't worry, I gave him heck. I'll see you in Detroit, love. I miss you terribly, which is why I called, to hear your voice, even if it's on the answering machine."

She hung up, and Evan clicked buttons to save her message. He hung up and called the house, but there was no answer, which meant Matt was probably monopolizing the phone. Tonight he would e-mail Cam and say he loved her, and warn her not to speak with Thomas. He was late for rehearsal, again, and soon the rest of the musicians and singers would grow impatient with his tardiness. It was always something urgent, his company, his writing, or his messages to Cam. Detroit was still a week away, and it couldn't be soon enough for him; he missed her more than he missed his brothers. Evan put the music folder on his dressing room table and locked the door on his way backstage, lest Thomas try to snoop while he was gone. He patted his pocket to be sure he had his keys, (did he ever remember where he put them?) and ran to join the rest of the tour crew.

Thomas was sitting in the audience watching, and his presence unnerved Evan, despite his best efforts to ignore him. He missed cues, forgot lyrics, and must have looked like a complete idiot to the reporter, confirming his suspicions that Evan wasn't who he pretended to be. Finally, mercifully, Thomas rose from his seat and wandered out of the hall, and Evan decided not to worry about where he was headed now. He felt the key in his pocket, and hurriedly dialed his cell phone to tell his crew to lock the bus and don't let anyone on except him. There wasn't anything for Thomas to find outside, he just didn't want him invading any more of his life than he already had. Rehearsal went smoother after he was gone, and Evan relaxed a bit. He didn't see the man again that night or the next. Maybe he was finished, and Evan hoped he found what he was looking for. One way or another, Evan wanted this over, and to claim his life again.

♥

Cam was loading groceries into her car when a man carrying his own purchases walked past. His bag split open just as he reached her car, spilling food all around the ground. He apologized for the mess, gathering his groceries as best he could, but the glass jars had shattered, and eggs were broken on the pavement.

"Let me help you," Cam offered, scooping dog food off the ground.

"This just makes my day," the man sighed. "I just moved here from Tennessee to start a new job, and today the factory laid off all new employees. So I took my last paycheck and bought food for my friend John's family, I've been staying with him until I found my own place. Now it looks like I'll have to leave again."

"I'm so sorry," said Cam. "But we have plenty of employment opportunities around here, factories, stores, everything. I'm sure you'll find something else."

"Thanks. I'm sure I will too." The man smiled at her. "I just needed to hear it from someone else."

"God knows your situation," Cam assured him. "And I know he cares for you. Ask Him to help you find a new job."

"You're a Christian?"

Cam nodded. "Christ is the most important thing in my life."

"Me too." The man seemed pleased. "Is your husband a believer also?"

"Oh, I'm not..." Cam hesitated. She wasn't married but felt committed to Evan.

"I hate to admit it also," the man confided. "I feel like a failure when I admit I'm over thirty and never married. But I've never really dated either. My mom was sick for years before she died..." He hesitated. "Anyway, I didn't get out much. Now that she's gone, I'm here."

Cam patted his arm. She knew his loss. "My father died recently and I don't think I'll ever get over it. But I know he's with Christ, not that it helps when I miss him. I cared for him too, and that was my life."

The man shook his head in wonder. "You too? Wow." He extended his hand. "I'm Tom. Nice to meet you."

"Cam," she replied. I've got an idea. Why don't you join my family...well, it's not just my family, it's a long story, anyway...join us for dinner tonight. Keith works at a local factory and they're always hiring. Maybe he can help a fellow believer."

"I'd hate to impose, but then I'd kill for a home cooked meal." He laughed lightly, his curly hair tossing. "And as you can see, I cut my own hair. My mom always did it before. I'd love to join you, if it's not too much."

"Great. Let me write the address for you. It's not my house, it's Keith's but we usually eat there anyway. Maybe I had better draw you a map." She found paper and gave him directions to Evan's house. "There's a gate out front, just press the button and we'll open it."

"A gate, huh?" Tom's eyebrows rose. "Sounds like quite a house."

"I like it," Cam said. "It's practically home except I don't live there, I'm the housekeeper."

"You're inviting me to dinner at your employer's?"

Cam laughed. "It's a long story. We're practically family; my sisters are both dating the men who live there, and I only technically work for them. I guess I'm more of a housemother to all of them, my sisters included. Evan is smart enough to pay me for it." She closed the trunk of her car, and helped Tom carry what was left of the groceries to his. He promised to be there at five-thirty, and even offered to bring dessert.

"Don't worry, we've got that covered too," Cam assured him. "Baking is my passion. And Matt can't live a day without pie."

Tom smiled at her, and Cam was touched by his gratefulness. She was glad to help another Christian, especially someone who had suffered such a loss. Imagine moving up here after the death of his mother, and then losing his job. Cam would speak to Keith when he returned home today. Surely the factory he worked at was hiring, and Tom seemed healthy, a very nice man. Helping him would be her good deed for the day.

♥

Keith wasn't as thrilled that Cam had invited a stranger to his house, but Matt reminded him that Cam was an excellent judge of character and she could kill him with one of her looks if he gave them any trouble.

"I forgot how scary she can be," agreed Keith, laughing. "Sydney, why don't you and I get a movie for later?"

"I thought we would compose tonight, if you don't mind," Sydney replied. "It's been a while."

Keith agreed that she had distracted him very much in the last few weeks, so much that he found it difficult to concentrate, at home and at work. He was so deeply in love with her, so over his head, so very happy and he wanted this to last forever. Keith wanted Sydney to be more than just his girlfriend; he desired to be with her permanently, loving her for life, raising a family, growing old together. He was sure she felt the same way, and almost as sure that she wanted to make a commitment to him as soon as possible. They had never mentioned the word marriage to each other, it was an unspoken promise, but Keith intended to marry her the moment she agreed. Tonight, he thought, after Cam's visitor leaves, I'll talk about it with Sydney, and tomorrow I'll get her a ring. If nothing else, I can give it to her for Christmas, if I can wait that long. Cam and Sydney were working on dinner, making gravy. Cam showed her sister how to measure the butter and flour, telling her to stir constantly while it thickened.

"This is fun, Cam. Why didn't you ever show me how to cook?" Sydney asked.

"You never asked," Cam replied. "I just did what had to be done, feeding you, Kiri and Dad."

Sydney tasted the gravy. "Still thin, Cam."

"Keep stirring, it'll thicken." Cam put potatoes in a bowl and began mashing them. "If you would like, Syd, I'll teach you how to bake too."

"I would." Sydney looked at Keith, who was of course, watching her. "I need to learn if I'm going to be a wife and mother someday."

Keith's heart jumped. He passed a look to Sydney that spoke of his desire, hoping she would understand, and was thrilled to see the same in her eyes. Soon, he promised silently. I'm not going to wait any longer than I have to for her.

Matt rose from the computer desk and stretched. "I'm done, Cam if you still want to write Evan. He says hi to all, but this was written last night."

"I'll send something later," Cam said. "Did you feed the cat today, Matt?"

Kiri, who was reading the newspaper at the kitchen table, rose and slipped her arms around Matt. "I thought it was supposed to eat mice. Why do we bother feeding it every day?"

"I don't want it to starve if it doesn't catch any mice on its own," Cam said. "Just leave a can of food and make sure it has fresh water."

"I wish I was feeding horses too," Matt commented. "I asked Evan again today if we could get some. Did you ask him, Cam?"

Cam nodded. "We talked about it when he was here for Thanksgiving. He wanted to surprise you, but I guess it's kind of hard to do that with him so far away. He wants to look for them with us."

Matt let out a whoop and danced Kiri around the kitchen. "I'm going to name mine Firestorm and jump fences."

"Ah, I don't think so," Cam admonished Matt. "Save the fence jumping for after riding lessons. And we're buying a tame, people-friendly horse, not a bucking bronco."

"Rodeo! That's even better!" Matt went to his room and returned with a Stetson. "Now I can wear this and get away with it."

"Not around me," Kiri insisted, crossing her arms. "I don't date cowboys."

"You mean you never have," corrected Matt. "Now you are."

Kiri made a noise and started for the door with cat food. "All I know is that you won't be kissing me when you're wearing that hat."

Matt slapped the hat on his head and caught her, planting a kiss on her lips. She giggled and slapped at him, then pulled him outdoors. Cam and Sydney just shook their heads and continued cooking while Keith went to the computer to check his e-mail.

"Evan says that reporter is bothering him again," Keith commented as he read the screen. "He was in Washington D.C. a couple of days ago snooping around. Evan's really mad."

"Why won't he leave him alone?" Cam asked. "Can't he see Evan has nothing to hide? Who is this reporter, anyway?"

"He works for a magazine," Keith replied. "He claims to be an investigative reporter, but I'm not thrilled with his tactics. That guy twisted things around to make Evan look bad, now he's going around trying to prove he's right. He's got it out for Evan already."

"Maybe if one of us talked to him, tried to make him see reason," Sydney suggested.

"No," replied Keith. "I'd probably strangle him."

Cam checked on Sydney's gravy. "This is great, Syd. Let's set the table." She began to pull plates from the cupboard. "I wish I could talk to the reporter. Evan is the finest man I know, so dedicated to Christ, so much like Him. Maybe I could convince the reporter that Evan's sincere."

"I'd rather none of us talked to him," Keith said. "I don't trust him, and I don't want any more trouble. Evan is a strong man of God; he'll either pray out of this or prove himself."

Cam agreed. "God will reward Evan's faithfulness, and he'll be vindicated, I just know it."

The bell to the gate rang, so Cam flipped on the monitor. "Hey, that's Tom." She pressed the button to open the gate, and spoke into the intercom. "Pull right up to the house, Tom."

"Thanks, I will," he answered.

Cam wiped her hands on a towel and went to the kitchen door. She waited for Tom to park, and met him outside.

"Hope you're hungry," Cam said, shaking his hand.

"Starved," Tom replied. "You were right, this is some set-up."

"We like it." She led Tom into the house and introduced him to Keith and Sydney. He shook Keith's hand and acted as if his hand was crushed from the act. Keith laughed and told him they would have to arm wrestle before he left that night.

"Sure but don't bet on me to win," Tom said, rubbing his hand. "You've got more strength in your upper body than anyone I've ever met."

"And for all that strength, he is gentle, and caring," Sydney commented. "He writes beautiful poetry."

"Thanks, Sydney; I had him convinced I was a mean son of a gun." Keith stepped to her and kissed her cheek.

"Cam told me you and Sydney was dating," Tom said. "And that there's another sister who's seeing your brother."

Keith kept his arm around Sydney. "That's Kiri and Matt. They're in the barn feeding the cat."

Tom looked at Cam with a light grin. "And one more left over. Cam was a hero to me today. Not only did she help me with my groceries, she made my day by inviting me here for dinner."

"Tom recently lost his mother," Cam said, showing her guest a chair to sit in. "We certainly know what he's going through."

"I lost my mother when I was younger also," Keith told Tom. "Matt was only a baby, really. As much as it affected me, it was harder on Matt; he was raised without a mother."

"Did your father raise you?" Tom asked.

"No, our father had died earlier." Keith moved to the table and sat, rubbing absently at his legs. "My older brother took over for my parents, right when he was eighteen. We were never separated, well until now, when Matt wanted to go to school. My brother did a phenomenal job caring for us, as a matter of fact; he sacrificed his own happiness so that we would have everything we need."

"That's some story," Tom remarked. "Your brother raised you both from when he himself was barely an adult? And he owns this house? He must have been pretty successful; it looks like you've got more than enough to live on."

Keith agreed. "We're doing well, but it not because of me or Matt. Evan is blessed by God, talented, smart, whatever; he alone gave us the life we have now. Matt and I owe him more than we can ever pay."

Tom appeared impressed. "I'd like to meet this Evan."

"He's away on business," Cam said. "He travels. So, Tom, what is it that you're experienced at, or I guess, trained for? Do you have a trade?"

He shook his head. "I worked for a magazine in Tennessee, but I wasn't looking for the same here, just a decent job away from everything there. I suppose I could work anywhere, but I have to find something soon."

"There's plenty here," Keith said. "And good money in some places, if you're skilled. Since you're not, I suggest you just get into a place and work around from there."

"Too bad the housekeeper job is already taken here," Tom teased. "I learned to do all the household duties when my mom became ill. I can cook."

Keith laughed. "Matt would never give up Cam; she's like a mother to him. He worries she'll find a better job and leave us anyway; if he even thought someone was going to replace her, he'd freak."

Cam agreed. She smiled at Keith, and rose from the table. "Let's eat before our guest starves to death. I'll call Matt and Kiri." She went to the door and called, then began setting food on the table. By the time they had begun passing bowls around, Matt returned, with both Kiri and the cat.

"Look Cam, he's letting me hold him," Matt said excitedly. "We're buds now."

Kiri made a disgusted face. "That stupid cat gave Matt a dead mouse! And he took it! I about gagged."

"It was a gift," protested Matt. "He acted so proud, and I praised him for doing his job. That's what he's supposed to do, right, Cam?"

Cam patted Matt's arm. "Yes, good cat." She attempted to pet the animal but it swiped at her. "Put him back outside, Matt and wash up. We're all waiting for you so we can eat."

Matt let the cat out and washed in the sink, telling them the story of how he and the cat finally were becoming friends. "I knew he would like me eventually, if I kept trying to win him over."

"Everyone loves you Matt. You're the hottest guy in school." Kiri put food on Matt's plate. "Hurry up, the food is getting cold, and it's your turn to pray."

Matt obeyed, and dropped into the chair next to Kiri. "DearheavenlyfatherblessthisfoodandmakeitnourishingtoourbodiesinJesusname."

Cam frowned, but said amen, and allowed them to start the meal. Matt talked excitedly about horses, and asked their guest if he knew anything about raising or buying.

"Actually," replied Tom, "My family raised Tennessee Walkers when I was young, but we sold them before I was old enough to remember."

Matt sighed. "I wish we had horses now. Cam won't let me look until Evan comes home."

"He wants to look with you," Cam reminded him. "He needs to see them for himself before he'll let you risk your life riding."

"I'll be fine," Matt insisted. "He worries too much."

"He loves you, and he's kept you alive this far," Keith teased. "Though sometimes I wonder about you."

Matt laughed and tossed a biscuit at his brother, making Cam scold him. Matt was unrepentant, he merely tossed another at Cam.

"Matthew Beers that will be enough," Cam said sharply. "We have company, you could act civilized for one day."

"Yes, mother." He apologized, but his face held a mischievous grin. "She's so bossy."

Cam tried to stay stern faced, but it was impossible with Matt's charm. "Someday, Matt...By the way, Matt, this is Tom, our guest. He's recently moved here from Tennessee."

Matt extended his hand to the man, and greeted him. "Tennessee? Where? We used to live in Nashville."

"Me too, that's where I moved from."

"Where in Nashville?" Matt asked.

"Not too far from Opryland," Tom said. "My mom liked to go there once in a while."

"Everyone in Nashville lives close to Opryland," Matt said, his friendly demeanor changing slightly. "How long did you live there?"

"Most of my life," Tom answered.

"Do you know my brother Evan?" Matt set his knife down on the table and waited.

Tom shook his head. "Only by what your family has told me. From the sounds of it, he's quite a guy."

Matt narrowed his eyes. "Most everyone in Nashville knows us; I'm surprised you haven't figured it out yet."

"Matt," Cam warned.

"I guess I don't get out much," Tom replied casually. "Mom's illness kept me at home more than I liked."

Matt wasn't convinced and looked at Tom suspiciously, but said nothing at the moment. Cam tried to cover the silence by asking Tom about his friend in Indiana.

"I've known John for years; we lived in the same neighborhood when I was in high school. He's great, but I'm really an intruder in his house, and it's not real fun for me either. I'm not used to all the kids running around."

"There's a homeless shelter on Main Street," Matt suggested.

"Matt!" scolded Cam. "I'm sure Tom will find what he's looking for, and we'll help if we can."

Matt grumbled something that only Kiri heard. She touched his hand and whispered back. Cam was appalled, and looked at Tom in apology.

"I don't know what has come over my young charge, and I will have a long talk with him about manners later tonight."

"It's okay," said Tom. "I was young once myself."

The rest of the meal was eaten in stilted conversation, with Matt sulking or mumbling, and Cam trying to apologize for his behavior. Keith and Sydney excused themselves to compose, and Cam assumed Matt would want to do something with Kiri, but to her surprise, he stayed glued to her side, helping her with dishes, and then joining her and Tom for a walk outside.

"It's getting cold," Cam said, as they walked on the porch. "We'll have snow soon."

"Not like Tennessee, right Tom?" Matt asked. "The winters are different."

Tom agreed, and changed the subject. Matt made a face at Cam behind the man's back. Cam frowned and indicated to Matt that he should leave, but Matt was rooted.

"Did Cam tell you that my brother Evan is in love with her? And that the only reason he hasn't ever married is so Keith and me can have a good life? He gave up everything to raise me, even his chance at love. Some people think he's not interested in girls at all, but the truth is that he has always been dedicated to me and Keith, he wouldn't let himself be distracted by anything that could take him away from us."

Tom thought for a moment. "But you said he's in love with Cam."

"That just happened recently. They're perfect for each other, like it was meant to be. Cam didn't date either, she was raising her sisters and no one questioned her motives."

Cam was baffled. "Matt, why are you treating Tom like this?"

"Let him talk," Tom said, turning back to Matt. "So you're telling me that your brother unselfishly gave up any chance for a life of his own, just for you?"

"No, he's got a way cool career, and he's really successful. Sometimes I hated that his career was so important. That's why I pushed him to let me live here and go to school. I wanted to live like normal people, have friends and stuff. I was tired of being the youngest member of the crew. But yeah, Evan totally gave up women, and believe me he had his choice of any woman in America. He did that for us, not because of deep, dark secrets. Until he met Cam, he never even looked twice at a girl."

"What was it about Cam that was so different? And how did they become aquatinted?" Tom sat on the swing, keeping his eyes on Matt. Matt leaned against the porch railing.

"I knew Kiri from the Internet, and I decided this town was where I wanted to live. Cam was worried that I was some kind of serial killer or something, she didn't know me, and we started to talk. I liked her, and asked her to talk to my brother Evan to tell him it was okay that I was moving here."

"He and I talked online quite a bit, without ever meeting, and he helped me through my father's death," Cam explained. "And then when Matt moved here, Evan arranged for me to be the housekeeper, which thrilled me to death. I was working a factory job that I hated, and I fell in love with Matt immediately anyway. Evan had been so kind to me, and I wanted him to be assured his brother would be safe and well."

Matt shook his head. "She did. And all this time she didn't even know whom she was talking to on the computer! I knew all along that she was his biggest fan, but I was sworn not to reveal who he was, that's always the rule anyway. She about killed me when he showed up at the house unexpectedly." Matt laughed at the memory.

Cam laughed also. "I made a fool of myself! Singing one of his songs at the top of my lungs, and suddenly there he is in the doorway, smiling."

"She cannot sing," Matt said.

"He was just as charming as Matt," Cam told Tom. "I still can't believe that Evan Worthy and Evan Beers is the same person, one the music superstar I idolized, and the other a wonderful, caring man I knew online; I was half in love before we even met."

"And God knew we needed her," Matt added. "I think he planned all along for Evan and Cam to be together."

Cam disagreed. "Oh, no, Matt, it's too soon to say that. Love that lasts endures through time and trials, and we've had very little of both."

Matt winked at Tom. "She's just as noble as him. It's very annoying."

Tom laughed. "I can see that. And you're right, Matt. It does look like God planned this all along. The best part is that both Cam and Evan were obedient to God, and he seems to be rewarding that now."

Cam didn't feel so noble. "Honest, it's our nature to care for others. Both Evan and I are dedicated to our families. We may someday have a life together, but not until we're certain that Matt, Kiri, Keith and Sydney are ready to let go of us."

"Or you could marry him and live here with us," suggested Matt.

"I could," agreed Cam. "But it would be difficult to be away from him so much."

Tom raised his eyebrows. "You are now, anyway. Why not make the times together as special as possible?"

"I'm not sure he would agree," Cam replied, laughing lightly. "He hates being alone, he's so used to having his brothers with him. He won't want me to live separate from him, he needs companionship."

"I guess you'll have to work on that, then," Tom agreed. "Well, it's been nice, but I need to get out of here and finish a project I'm working on at my friend's house. I appreciate the dinner and your offer, Cam. It's been a real pleasure."

She walked him to his car. "We were very pleased to have you, Tom. Trust God for your future, He knows better than you what you need, and he can supply it for you."

"He already has," Tom answered. "Nice to meet you, Matt."

"You too, Thomas. Tell Evan I answered you honestly."

Tom and Matt traded looks while Cam frowned in confusion. A moment later, the man left and Matt turned to Cam.

"Man, Cam, I never thought anyone could pull the wool over your eyes, but he was smooth."

"What are you talking about?" Cam asked, bewildered.

"That was Thomas, the reporter that's been stalking Evan. "I should have known he'd show up sooner or later, but I didn't figure he'd use you to get inside information."

"Oh, no!" Cam put her hands to her mouth. "He tricked us into talking about Evan?"

Matt nodded. "I knew there was something funny about him, and I figured it out at the table. Don't worry, Cam. You did great. Evan will be proud."

Cam shook her head miserably. "He'll be so angry. He told me not to talk to him...and I let a stranger in the house...I did all the things I'm not supposed to, now he's going to have to let me go..."

"Not, Cam. Keith and I would kill him. And besides, Thomas tricked you."

'I betrayed Evan."

"Not on purpose." Matt smirked. "You made him look real good. He couldn't have done better himself."

She wasn't sure. "Oh, Matt. If I hurt him, I'll just die."

Matt assured her all was well, and went in the house to e-mail his brother. Cam sat heavily on the swing. She had been a fool, thinking she was merely helping a brother who was down on his luck, when, if what Matt said was true, this man was only pretending, to get access to Evan's family. He lied, thought Cam and that bothered her more than being tricked. Isn't this man from a Christian magazine? How could it be that they would let him use these tactics? Cam worried that she would have to tell Evan, if Matt didn't first, and she despaired, thinking he would not forgive her for giving away his personal life so easily. Even as she did, however, she defended him, showed Tom that Evan was an honorable, God-fearing man, and he deserved to be known as such. Thomas was searching for the truth about Evan, and Cam told him, she was sure of that. Hopefully, Evan would understand. But if not...Cam was afraid to think about it.

♥

CHAPTER 38

Evan bowed as the crowd cheered, acknowledging their accolades, spreading his arms wide to include the other musicians and singers, his gesture telling people that the concert tonight was a group effort. He led his friend and fellow vocalist, Christine Fallon to the edge of the stage and allowed the crowd to clap for her. She bowed, and kissed Evan's cheek. Christine and Evan had shared the stage together more times than he could count in his career, and did the Christmas concert together every year. Her husband and manager wrote some of the melodies they sang tonight, and was a co-writer on two of Evan's CD's. Christine and her husband were deeply in love, not afraid to show affection in public, and sometimes it was difficult for Evan to witness their happiness when he himself felt the sting of loneliness. Still, tonight, when Christine waved to Geoff and threw him a kiss, Evan felt a thrill inside, thinking that he would be doing the very same thing with Cam two nights from now. He had arranged for a caterer to serve dinner at the hotel after the show, with candles and soft music, a highly romantic evening, if it was only him and her, but of course he included his brothers and her sisters. No matter. Cam would understand his intent, and the promise behind it. Evan too was anticipating Christmas Eve when he arrived in Indiana, and planned to meet Cam in the loft. He thought about it more often than he should, and reminded himself constantly that he was first and foremost a Christian, a gentleman. The thoughts that he wrestled with about Cam were neither Christian nor gentlemanly. Thank you, Lord. I'm in love with her, and it's the greatest feeling in my life, besides knowing you. How he could wait two more years for Matt to leave for college, Evan didn't know. Maybe there was some way around it, some way to have Cam, and yet not break his promise to Matt. If there was, Evan couldn't grasp it; he only knew he couldn't sacrifice Matt's happiness for his own. Cam wouldn't let him anyway.

When Evan was able to escape his backstage duties, he went to the bus and found his cell phone, hoping to catch Cam at home. She answered on the second ring, and her voice sent a surge of emotion through him. He wondered if she could feel him smiling through the phone lines.

"Hey Cam."

"Evan! Is the concert over already? We were just packing for the trip."

"I wanted to catch you before too late. How's my girl?"

"Missing you! Looking forward to Detroit. I've a map with my route marked, and Matt's got all the fast food restaurants memorized just in case he gets hungry on the trip."

"Sounds just like him." Evan laughed lightly. "I can't tell you how many times we drove this bus to the drive-thru at Taco Bell. But don't worry about eating before you get here, I've got dinner planned for after the show."

Cam was pleased, but reminded Evan that Matt was a teenager and would not last five hours without nourishment. "We'll leave early so we can stop about half-way. Then Keith will be able to stretch his legs. They've been bothering him lately."

"He needs to get checked. Keith won't tell you, so you'll have to make an appointment and force him to go to the doctor."

"I'll tell Sydney. She's the guardian of his health right now. She puts warm towels on him at night to comfort him and she massages his calves. I know he's in pain, but he doesn't want her to worry so he acts like he's better after she ministers to him."

Evan found his day planner and gave Cam the phone number of Keith's doctor. "He'll help you find someone close by who can see Keith soon. How's Matt doing?"

"He and that cat are best friends now. Although it still doesn't answer to Killer."

"What does it answer to?" Evan asked.

"A can opener," laughed Cam. "That's how Matt gets his attention. Oh, and Matt brought home a parakeet, and is asking when we can go look at horses."

Evan chuckled. "He's turning my house into a zoo! Tell him we've hit our pet limit."

"He's so excited about the horses, he's been calling around to places inquiring about lessons. And he's taken to wearing cowboy boots and a Stetson." Cam promised to bring pictures.

Evan imagined Matt in his rodeo gear. "I can't wait to see him. I think I'll get online and find some horse accessories for him. We'll look over Christmas vacation, I promise."

Cam sighed. "He'll hound you until you do anyway. You had better get yourself a pair of boots too, for trudging through barns. And don't even think about bringing that...mud into the house. Matt has been warned."

Mitch knocked on the bus door as he walked inside. "Evan! Did you forget your interview with the newspaper? They're waiting backstage."

Evan had indeed forgotten; all he could think about was Cam. "I'll be right there, Mitch. Just let me say goodbye to Cam."

Mitch smiled and patted his friend on the back. "I can't wait to meet this gal who is stealing you from me. Gloria says she's planning to tell her all your secrets."

"Now I'm worried," Evan said with mock horror. "Gloria will tell her I leave dirty clothes all over my dressing room, and towels on the floor."

"What?" gasped Cam. "You think you know someone..."

Evan laughed and asked Cam again if she was sure of her directions, and the time to meet him. "Matt knows his way around backstage, and we have seats for you right near the front. Just follow Matt."

"We'll be fine, Evan. I can't wait. This will be the first concert of yours I've ever attended, and I don't even have to pay for my ticket!"

Evan assured her that she was his guest. "Everything is taken care of, just be here. If you're early enough, I'll meet you before the show, and introduce you to some of my friends."

"Oh, Evan, I don't know..."

"You'll be fine, Cam. They're all people like you and me."

"I know. It's just...overwhelming, you know?"

He understood. "I'll be at your side. I want to show you off to everyone, tell them how wonderful you are."

She guffawed. "Just don't ask me to sing or talk and I may not make a fool out of myself. Not as much as normal, anyhow. Besides, all I'll see when I'm there is you, so don't ask me to remember any names."

Evan sighed deeply. "Cam, I'm so pleased..." He glanced at Mitch who was tapping his watch. "I have to go. I'll tell you all kinds of mushy things when he's not around. Mitch, that is. He's not the romantic type."

"I'm going to be the really nasty type if you don't get moving," Mitch threatened. "Tell your girlie goodbye before I tell her myself."

"Bye, Cam. Mitch is bullying me."

"Bye Evan. I love you."

"Me too." He closed his phone and followed Mitch out of the bus.

♥

Despite careful planning, Cam was not able to leave home at the appointed time. Matt's Pinto broke down on the way home from school, so she had to retrieve him and arrange for a tow before they left for Detroit. The towing company arrived forty-five minutes after Cam called, and spent another twenty laughing at Matt's colorful paint job.

"You should have been born in the sixties," the tow truck driver told Matt. "That's when this kind of paint was in style."

"Retro," argued Matt. "It's back in now. This is a very cool car."

"Right," laughed the driver. "I can die happy knowing I towed a very cool car." He and his partner laughed until Matt stomped to Cam's car and ordered her to make them stop. Cam threw open her car door and tried to hurry the men, paying them cash to take the car without waiting for her to follow. She promised to call the service station in two days to settle the repair bill, but the men said they probably wouldn't get to it until then anyway. It would be that long until they stopped laughing.

"They're just jealous," Kiri informed Matt. "Old guys don't know what cool is anyway."

Matt agreed, and Cam rushed home to see if Keith and Sydney were ready, but Sydney wasn't even there yet.

"Where is she?" Cam almost screeched, seeing Keith standing helplessly on the porch.

"She forgot her suitcase," Keith answered. "Sydney said she'll be right back."

"Oh, no," wailed Cam. "We're already running over an hour behind schedule."

Keith shrugged and brought his suitcase to the car. "We still have plenty of time if we don't stop on the way."

"We have to eat," protested Matt. "I'm starving."

"Go inside and grab something for now," Cam ordered. "As soon as Sydney gets back we're out of here." She opened her trunk and threw Keith's suitcase in with the others, muttering to herself. "If that sister of mine ever has a complete thought it will be a miracle."

"She means well," said Keith.

Cam gave him a dirty look and slammed the lid. Sydney arrived a few minutes later with a suitcase half the size of Cam's trunk. It took even more time to fit it in with the others and ninety minutes late, the family was on the road.

"I just pray we make it to the concert on time," Cam said, despondently. "Evan will worry until he sees us and it will affect his performance."

"No, he's a pro," Matt replied. "He doesn't let anything affect his stage show."

Cam just bit her lip and drove as fast as she dared, watching the clock the whole trip. Moreover, when they reached the Detroit area, she was confused by the directions and missed her exit. They had to back-track, and were slowed by traffic going to the concert. Cam was a mass of nerves, ready to scream as they inched along toward the Palace of Auburn Hills.

"We're never going to make it on time," Cam said, fighting tears. "This is awful. I was so excited, and now I just want to cry."

"It's okay," replied Matt. "Evan will be glad to see us no matter when we get here. He's probably too busy getting ready to notice we're late."

But Cam knew he would be fretting, he was anxious to see his family again. She willed the cars ahead of her to move faster, but to no avail. They finally parked and found their way to the private entrance with just minutes to spare, and Keith's legs were cramping on him, making him stop to catch his breath. Cam and Sydney rubbed his calves, despite his protests that they should go on ahead of him. The security guard at the door recognized Keith from Evan's careful instructions, and approached with a wheelchair. Cam thanked him gratefully and asked if Evan was worried about them.

"No offense, ma'am, but he's about driven me crazy looking for you. Is he always like that?"

Cam assured him that Evan was normally a kind and thoughtful man. "We were delayed and I knew he would be concerned. Could you find him and tell him we'll meet him afterward?"

The man made a face, but obeyed. Another guard led them to their seats by the stage, his instructions to them lost to the orchestra as the show began. Matt and Kiri sat on the end of the row, and he waved to a few of the stagehands. They gave him thumbs up and went about their business. Keith looked uncomfortable, and Cam worried that he was not well enough to sit through the concert. Sydney left the hall to find him water for his pain pill, and Cam hoped she would find her way back without Cam having to fetch her sister.

The auditorium lights dimmed as the stage lit, and from below the stage, a piano rose with Evan playing. Cam caught her breath and held it while he played the first song, her eyes never leaving him. He sang a Christmas carol, first alone, then joined by others onstage, moving closer to the crowd as the song ended. When he reached the very edge, his eyes found Cam and she could see his expression of relief. I'm sorry we're late, she mouthed silently. He winked at her and continued with the program, introducing the next number. Cam began to relax, finally allowing herself to enjoy his performance. He was magnificent, his voice rich, never faltering or missing a cue. When he sang a solo, it was to Cam, his eyes meeting hers and holding them throughout the song. She kissed her fingers and signaled to him, feeling a thrill in her stomach when he repeated the gesture to her.

At intermission, a security guard asked the family to follow him, but Keith declined, and Sydney stayed behind with him while the others were led to Evan's dressing room. The security guard knocked, and Evan, who was being attended by his makeup person, threw the door open wide. Moira retreated while he hugged his family and expressed his relief that they were at the hall safely.

"It's my fault, Evan," said Matt. "My car broke down."

Evan messed Matt's hair and hugged him again. "It doesn't matter. You're here now. Where's Keith?"

"His legs are bothering him so he and Sydney stayed in their seats," Cam said. "Are we keeping you from preparations?"

He shook his head, but Moira cleared her throat and indicated to him that she was waiting.

"Before I had you bossing me around, there was Moira," Evan explained.

Moira growled at him and forced him into a chair. "He thinks I'm too fussy but that handsome mug you see on stage doesn't just happen. Your boy here is my creation."

Cam laughed and waited by the door while Moira worked her magic. A stagehand stuck his head in the door and told Evan that he had ten minutes.

"We'll go back to our seats," Cam suggested.

"Wait, I want to see you for a minute." Evan made an impatient gesture, and Moira reluctantly released him. He hurried to Cam and kissed her quickly. "I don't want to get stage makeup all over you. Meet me here after the concert, and tell Keith to go on ahead to the hotel, I'll ride with you. He needs to get into the whirlpool tonight before we do anything else. I'll have Joe take him in the bus."

"Can me and Kiri go with Keith?" Matt asked. "She's never seen the bus."

Evan agreed. "Cam and I will catch up with you after the show. Take Keith now, Matt. He's seen this a hundred times."

Matt said he would, and he left the room with Kiri. Evan smiled at Cam.

"I'm so glad you're here. I was getting worried."

She shook her head. "I'm so sorry to put you through that before you went onstage. We didn't mean to be late, it couldn't be helped."

"No matter." The stagehand poked his head in the door again. "Well, I gotta run, Cam. I'll have someone bring you here afterward."

"If you don't mind, I'd like to wander around a bit until you're ready," she said, thinking he would want to change in private. "I'll be backstage waiting."

He knew she was being thoughtful and agreed to find her when he was dressed. "Just don't run off with another singer while I'm busy."

"There is no other singer as far as I'm concerned," she said, her eyes conveying her thoughts. Evan grasped her hand for a moment, and then allowed a guard to lead her back to her seat.

♥

Cam sat alone the rest of the concert, but she was not lonely, she was elated; watching Evan perform was the biggest thrill she had ever felt. If only her father was here, he would be so proud. Cam felt a moment's sadness, knowing her father would have wanted to be with her, to see his daughter finally find love with a wonderful man. Oh, Dad, she thought with a tear escaping her eye, you would have loved Evan. He's everything I ever dreamed of, and more than I could have hoped for in a man. I know he'll take care of me the way you expect, and I'm going to make him so happy, if God lets me keep him. I pray with all my being that He will.

♥

After the show, Evan went directly to his room to change, having informed Mitch he would do as few interviews as possible tonight; he wanted to spend time only with Cam and his brothers. The tour continued on the next morning, and Evan had but a few precious hours with them until Christmas. Mitch promised him only the most important interviews would take place, and even those would be as brief as possible without slighting a sponsor. So Evan showered quickly and stepped back into his dressing room to change, and was startled to find the star of the Cat Randolph show on his couch, smirking at him, her eyes on his towel.

"You're even better looking without...stage makeup," Cat purred.

"What are you doing here?" Evan asked, searching for, but not finding his ratty robe. "How did you get in here?"

"The door wasn't locked. And you didn't answer so I made myself at home." She leaned forward and brushed at the seat with her hand. "Come sit with me. I'd like to get an exclusive interview with you."

Evan frowned and moved toward the door where his robe hung. "Out, Cat. Now."

She was quick and blocked it with her body. "You don't really mean that, Evan. There's a tension between us, but I know it can be resolved tonight, right now. If you're willing." She put her hands on his shoulders. "I know I am."

Evan stepped away from her and grabbed his robe. "There is no us, Cat. And you've caused enough trouble for me with the rumor you began, making me defend and prove myself."

"Aw, I was just having a little fun with you," she pouted. "But you can prove to me the man you really are right now."

Evan laughed aloud. "Oh, yes, that would make things so much better. Then you could sue me claiming pregnancy—or wait, rape, yes that's better. Forget it Cat. For one thing, I'm a man of integrity. I wouldn't compromise my girlfriend or you, even if I found you the least bit attractive..." He made a face, shuddering at the thought in his head. "And for another thing, I'm not worried about you ruining my career. First and foremost I belong to God, and I answer to Him alone, not my fans, not my family, and certainly not some conniving female."

"I almost had you, you know," Cat said, spitting out the words. "I had that reporter convinced, until you gave him carte blanche in your life. That was genius, giving him your house key. He found out plenty—and it all proved your character." She sat on the couch again, and started removing her dress. "I'm still going to get you. I met your sweet little friend backstage. She's everything you said you wanted, that night on my show, remember? Plain as day, and very unremarkable. I'll bet she can't sing either."

"How can you say that?" wondered Evan aloud. "She's the most beautiful woman I ever met, and even more on the inside. I am totally, hopelessly in love with her, and no, she can't sing if her life depended on it."

"Well I hope you enjoyed her because she's in for a shock tonight." Cat narrowed her eyes. "I may not have ruined your career, but Evan, darling, your love life is history."

Cat had unzipped her dress and was stepping out of it. Evan grabbed her hand to stop her, and she merely laughed and pulled at his towel. He threw himself against her to save his dignity, and at that moment, his dressing room door opened and Cam appeared, her face startled at the scene.

"Evan...Oh!" Cam threw her hand over her mouth and backed out the door, while Evan struggled to push past Cat.

"Cam wait, don't go," Evan called, but the door slammed and he could hear her sob as she ran down the hall.

"Oh, my, she seemed a bit upset," Cat said as she zipped her dress up again. "Too bad, Evan."

Evan turned around, slowly, his eyes murderous, but his demeanor calm. "Leave now, Cat."

"Let this be a lesson to you, Evan Worthy," Cat sneered as she moved past him to the doorway. "No one messes with Cat Randolph. Hope you enjoy your integrity, because it truly is all you have."

She slithered out the door like the serpent she was, leaving Evan standing, barely clothed. He slammed the door and threw on clothes as fast as he could move, then, still tying his shoes, stumbled out the door to catch Cam. She wasn't anywhere, backstage, in the auditorium, or even in the ladies' rooms. Evan checked. He ran to the parking lot, and spotted the car, but not her. She's here somewhere, he thought. Why can't I find her?

♥

CHAPTER 39

Cam gave Evan a reasonable amount of time before she went to his dressing room. It would be uncomfortable for both of them if he wasn't yet dressed, and she didn't want anything to ruin this wonderful, most thrilling night of her life. She waited in her seat as the auditorium emptied, and then walked slowly the route the security guard had showed her earlier. She had just gone backstage when she bumped into Moira, who introduced her to Mitch and a few of Evan's crewmembers.

"He's nuts about you," Mitch said as he shook hands with Cam. "Walks around moon faced all the time, with this silly grin. It's nauseating."

Cam laughed. "I'm sorry; I'll tell him to pay better attention to all of you. But thank you for what you told me, I can picture the exact face you say he makes."

"We're real happy for him," Mitch said. "He was an awfully lonely guy till you came along."

Cam blushed. "He's so wonderful; I don't know why I'm so blessed."

Mitch smiled and assured her that Evan made a good choice. He shook her hand again and was about to walk away, when he looked past Cam and scowled. "What is she doing here?"

Cam turned and saw Cat Randolph moving through the crowd. She was talking to someone holding a clipboard, but her eyes were on Cam, her expression mockery. Cam brushed at her hair quickly and looked down in the direction of Evan's dressing room. Cat Randolph followed her eyes, and licked her lips, then moved past Cam without acknowledging her.

"Cam, come meet my wife Gloria," Mitch said, turning his attention away from Cat Randolph. "She's been buggin' me ever since Evan told her you'd be here, saying she wants to give you advice about our boy."

Cam smiled. "He told me about you and Gloria. I can't wait to meet her."

Gloria was working the shirt booth and it was still busy but she promised to break away while Evan did his interviews.

"I won't be more than fifteen minutes," Gloria promised. "Don't run away, Cam! We've got lots to talk about!"

"I won't," promised Cam. "Maybe you and Mitch can join Evan and me for dinner tonight."

Gloria laughed. "He said he wants you all alone tonight, and warned us to get lost, but we're coming to Indiana over Christmas, whether he wants us or not. You and I will have plenty of time together."

Cam smiled warmly. "I would like that, Gloria. See you in a few minutes." She and Mitch went to the backstage area again, where he found the people who would be interviewing Evan. He told Cam to go to the dressing room and see if Evan was ready, and to bring him back if he was. Cam nodded and found her way to his room. The door was opened just a crack, so she stuck her head inside as she had seen the stagehand earlier, calling Evan.

What she saw shocked her so, she all but fell over herself to run away.

Evan was wrapped in a towel, and in the arms of a woman. Not just any woman, but Cat Randolph and they were grappling, in the midst of a passionate embrace...

"Oh!" Cam gasped, and jumped back. She stumbled and let out a sob as she hurried down the hall and away from the horrific scene. How could he? Especially tonight of all nights, when he had invited her...told her he missed her...arranged for this night to be special for her...Cam could barely see through her tears, and her breath came in gasps as she lost control. Oh, God! What am I going to do now?

She reached the auditorium and looked around wildly, wondering what door it was that she came in earlier. If she could get to her car...she didn't even know the name of the hotel where Sydney and Kiri were, or if they had a cell phone with them. Cam wiped at her eyes with her sleeve and fished in her purse for a tissue. Someone was calling her name, and she turned to answer.

"Tom!" Cam said, her voice shaking. "What are you doing here?"

"Long story. But at this moment I have something you'll find very interesting." He put his arm out for her to take, but she hesitated.

"I...I don't want to know...If you're telling me about Evan..."

"I think you will, Cam. Trust me." He took her arm and she went with him reluctantly to a room where he closed the door and turned on a video player.

"Tom, please, I've had enough," Cam cried, but he sat next to her, and started the tape. Cam watched as Evan's dressing room door opened, and he entered, going straight to the shower. A few minutes later Cat Randolph entered without knocking and positioned her body on the sofa as she watched the bathroom door. They whole scene played, even past when Cam opened the dressing room door until Evan ran out after her. Tom stood and turned the machine off.

Cam was astounded, speechless. "How?"

"She was the one who asked me to investigate Evan, claiming he had confided in her about his sexual orientation, and she was concerned that he was living a lie. Believe it or not, Cam, she's a much respected member of the Christian media."

Cam sat back on her seat. "I knew that she was, but I've never liked her. She hurt Evan...I'll kill her!"

"You won't have to; she's dug her own grave." Tom rewound the tape and ejected it, then put it in his pocket. "I told Evan that I was going to investigate him right down to his third grade teacher, and I almost did. I'm sorry I mislead you at his house, but I needed to know about him without revealing who I was. Matt figured it out. I knew I was on the right trail, that he was totally legit, but I wanted absolute proof before I took the next step—exposing Cat Randolph as a liar so I installed a camera in his dressing room. It was sneaky and deceptive, forgive me, but I had a hunch she would try something tonight."

"Why tonight?" asked Cam.

"Because," Tom replied, Evan told everyone you were going to meet him in Detroit. They all knew, and she found out through her many contacts in the industry. So she arranged to do her show live from Detroit, tonight. She's going onstage with her audience in just a few minutes. I'm a guest on the show."

"You?" Cam frowned. "What does she plan on doing?"

Tom grinned. "She was going to interview the musicians, but they all heard of or saw her interview with Evan in October, and none of them would speak to her; she had to scramble for guests. I'm going on as a backstage reporter."

"Oh, Tom. Please don't hurt Evan."

"Hurt him?" Tom held up the tape. "I'm going to vindicate him."

Cam laughed despite her tears. Evan was true to her, and Tom was going to beat Cat at her own game. "I'll be in the studio audience, you can be sure. And I'll round up as many cast and crew as I can."

Tom opened the door to the room. "You do that, Cam. You have ten minutes before I go on air. See how many we can get to view the show."

♥

Cam hugged him quickly and hurried down the hall, reaching Mitch first, and then Gloria. Without telling them the whole story, she ordered the two to find as many of the tour crew as possible, and they hurried away. In ten minutes, they had everyone rounded up, including back stage guests and members of the media, who took seats in the audience for Cat Randolph's show.

"I can't find Evan," Cam called to Mitch. "He's not in his room, and I haven't seen him anywhere."

"We'll find him after the show," Mitch replied, leading her and Gloria to a seat at the very rear. "I wouldn't miss this for the world."

"I wish Matt and Keith were here," agreed Cam.

The music intro began, and then Cat Randolph launched into her welcoming speech, thanking the members of the studio audience for joining her, and introducing her guest for the evening, Thomas.

"Thomas is our behind the scenes man, here with candid video of the stars of tonight's concert. Welcome, Thomas."

He kissed her hand and sat in the chair next to her. "Glad to be here, Cat."

To the camera, Cat said, "We sent Thomas to catch our stars before, during and after the show, so you in our television audience could get a glimpse of what goes on behind scenes at these large concerts. It's not all glamour, as you'll see tonight. It's hard work, lots of waiting around and of course a few surprises. Thomas says he's got one that will leave us amazed, and it involves none other than Evan Worthy himself."

"That's right," said Tom. "Thanks to you, Cat. This was a great idea."

She had the crew roll a teaser for the crowd, a scene of Christine Fallon and her husband Geoff holding hands and kissing before she went on stage. He looked at the camera and teasingly told Tom to take a hike.

"More fun after this message," Cat promised. They broke for commercials and a makeup person attended to Cat until the show continued. She sat still for a moment, and then pushed the attendant away with a scowl, recovering in time for her close up. She grinned at the audience and read from the cue cards about the next segment of the show.

Cam felt a hand on her shoulder as the show resumed. She looked up to see Evan standing behind her looking distraught. Cam patted the seat next to her and he sat, holding tightly to her hand though he was confused by her calm, welcoming smile. Mitch leaned over and whispered in Evan's ear, making him frown, his head snapping up to look at the monitor in the front of the auditorium.

"Thomas, would you tell us about this piece?" Cat said, looking at the camera and not him.

Thomas grinned. "I think this one will speak for itself." The tape rolled, and showed Cat in Evan's dressing room. She was too busy smiling at the camera to notice at first, but when the audience gasped, Cat's eyes moved to the monitor, and she cried aloud.

"What is this?" Cat screeched, jumping up from her seat. "Who did this? Turn it off!"

The camera operator shook his head and crossed his arms, standing firmly in place. Cat yelled to the producer. "Do something!"

However, her producer was staring intently at the monitor with the rest of the audience. Cat turned to Thomas, "How could you? I sent you to investigate him!"

"I did, Cat," Thomas answered her honestly. "I did exactly as you asked."

"I'll get you for this," she hissed, the camera capturing every word. She screamed to the producer again. "Stop the show!"

The cameras went dark but not the monitor. It played the scene until Cat walked out of the dressing room and then the monitor went blank. The audience sat, stunned, while Cat Randolph stomped off stage, cursing everyone she could think of. Mitch burst into laughter, and so did Evan's crew, followed by most of the audience. Cam was embarrassed for Evan, but held him tightly to assure him that she was there for support. Evan sat, wide eyed, his thumb between his teeth, as his friends and crew rose from their seats and cheered.

Mitch slapped Evan on the back. "Take a bow, brother. You deserve it."

Evan shook his head. "I just want to go to the hotel with Cam and be with my family. Cat got what she deserved, and I'm not happy about it, I wish it had been anyone else but me."

"You've been through enough," agreed Mitch. "I'll take care of your interviews tonight. Go spend time with your family."

Cam and Evan rose and said goodnight to the rest of the crew, who congratulated Evan on exposing Cat Randolph, though it wasn't really his doing. Cam knew he was mortified that he was on tape undressed even though nothing showed. She held his arm tightly as they went back to his dressing room to fetch his wallet and other personal items, then left the auditorium to find her car.

Evan patted his pocket, looking for keys before Cam held them up so he could see them. He smiled and took them from her, unlocking the passenger door.

"I'm so sorry you had to see this tonight," Evan said, helping her into the car. "I wanted tonight to be special, perfect."

Cam waited until he was in the driver's seat. "We live in an imperfect world, Evan. Nothing ever goes as planned. But God is good, honey. And you made us all proud tonight; even in your skivvies you have more integrity than most people."

"Man, I was so worried," Evan laughed. "I thought I lost you forever."

"I was so startled that my mind went blank," Cam chuckled. "If I had thought rationally for a moment, I would have realized you would never do anything out of character, especially in a concert hall where anyone could walk into your room at any moment."

"I wouldn't have done that to you, Cam," Evan said. "Ever."

"I know, Evan. And so does the whole country now." She giggled. "Cat was right about something, though. You do look better without stage makeup."

Evan blushed crimson, putting his hand over his eye. "There is no dignity in my life."

"Not today," Cam agreed. "And I'll tell you another thing. We're getting rid of that robe if it's the last thing I do."

"I love that robe," Evan protested. "I've had it forever."

"My point exactly," said Cam.

Evan pulled her to him. "We have to get to the hotel; I have dinner waiting for us."

"It can wait five minutes," Cam replied, finding his lips. She slipped her arms inside his coat for warmth, making Evan shiver.

"For such a hot babe, you're making me freeze," Evan remarked.

"Hot?" Cam chuckled, pulling away from him. "How about unremarkable, plain as day?"

"How about irresistible, the one I've been waiting for all my life?"

Cam kissed his cheek. "I like that. But you know what I'd like even more?" She let her fingers trace a path from his chin to his lips.

"Anything, he teased. "I'll give you whatever you ask for."

"I choose...food!" Cam sat up in her seat. "I'm starving! Let's get to the hotel and eat."

"Food it is, love." He started the car. "So, did you enjoy the concert?"

Cam burst into laughter. "What a night, Evan! All I expected was a nice concert and time with you."

"Technically, that happened."

"Yes, it sure did." Cam held her sides and then wiped her eyes. "My life has been very interesting since I met your family."

Evan agreed wholeheartedly. "You girls certainly have done something to us also. We couldn't have planned things any better, that's for sure."

Cam shook her head. "Except for one thing, well, on my end. I would like to spend so much more time with you, days, nights, everything. If I had my way, you would be living in that house in Indiana."

"You wouldn't want to follow me around on the road?" Evan asked. "I can't blame you; it's not the best life."

"Oh, no that's not what I mean at all," Cam said, leaning close. "I don't know any different than what I live now. I would love to follow you, to watch concerts from backstage, to be in a different city each night."

"Really?" Evan kissed her forehead. "Because that would be your life if you...if we..." He grinned.

Cam smiled at him but did not answer. She was too close to throwing caution to the wind and telling him that she would drop everything to follow him. That would be wrong; no matter how she desired to have Evan, she still had obligations. Evan knew this too, she was sure. Tonight they would leave an unspoken promise to each other, and that's all it could be. They had only a few precious hours together, why waste it thinking of what might be when they needed to concentrate on what was?

They met the rest of the group at the hotel, and went to the room that Evan had reserved for dinner. To both Cam and Evan's relief, Keith was feeling better, having soaked in the hot tub with Sydney for an hour.

"The swirling water helped?" asked Evan.

Keith looked at Sydney. "A little, but what really got me going was seeing Sydney in a bathing suit."

Sydney gasped and threw her napkin at Keith. "You are wicked!" Then she laughed. "It took some doing to find the perfect suit in December, but I did. I wanted to knock Keith's socks off."

"It's not fair," Keith teased. "To work me up like that and I can't even chase after you."

"Who said I was going to run?" Sydney said, winking.

"Should we leave?" Matt asked, rolling his eyes. "Maybe you and Sydney would like to be alone? Or are you gagging us on purpose?"

"You don't have to leave," Keith said to Matt. "But I'm not going to stop."

Matt and Kiri both groaned and rose from the table. "We're going back to the pool," Matt said. "Evan, do you want to join us?"

"That's up to Cam," he replied.

She was watching the musicians who were winding around the table playing a slow song on their violins, thinking about Evan's thoughtfulness. He had to have gone through lots of preparation for this evening, even though he knew it would only be for a few hours. She pledged to make Christmas special for him, a real family affair, with presents around the tree, cookies, oodles of food, caroling, and the whole holiday thing. The only thing missing would be midnight service at a cathedral...Cam laughed to herself. Pastor was talking about a midnight service at their little church, but as for music...Cam would be embarrassed to play discs of Christmas music with Evan in attendance, what a joke! Still, to have him with her on Christmas Eve, at church would be the perfect gift. She turned her attention to Evan, who was looking at her expectantly. Did she miss something? Cam frowned...

"So, Cam, do you want to?" Matt asked.

Cam blinked a few times. "Uh, what? I was listening to the music."

Matt made a face. "Yeah, right. You're all weird tonight. Come on Kiri. Let's swim."

Cam looked to Evan for an answer. He merely smiled, tipped the musicians, and rose from the table. "I'll show you to your room, Cam. It's connected to here."

He took her out into the hallway, and to another door. Opening it, she saw a normal room, but the inside door opened to the reception area of his suite. "For privacy," he explained. "I didn't want anyone to think we were staying together."

"Thank you for protecting my reputation," Cam teased. "Now what are we doing this evening?"

"Matt wants us to swim, but I thought we would just relax in the hot tub."

Cam nodded. "Downstairs? In public?"

Evan shrugged. "It's not like the whole world hasn't already seen me naked tonight."

"Nothing showed." Cam laughed. "Let me get changed. I'll knock on your door when I'm ready."

He started for his room. "No cameras, I promise."

"And no witnesses?" Cam asked.

Evan looked up the hallway. "Nope, I don't see anybody."

"Good, it's just us." Cam pulled him inside and closed the door. "I don't want to waste a single moment." She threw herself into his arms and pinned him up against the wall with her body, her hands flat on the wall behind Evan. He grinned at the way she trapped him and raised his hands in surrender, as they stared into each other's eyes. Cam, still leaning against Evan, moved her face to meet him, and he kissed her once, then again, and closing his eyes, yielded to her embrace. He allowed Cam to do as she pleased to him, and she kissed his neck, bit at his ear lobes then kissed a path from his lips to the skin of his chest. She could feel the quickening of his heartbeat, and his breath on her shoulder grew ragged.

"Cam," he sighed, his voice a low cry.

The door to the room flew open.

"Ready?" Matt said as he and Kiri entered, throwing the room key on the bed. Evan jumped away from Cam so quickly he knocked the phone off the table, and caught part of it as it fell. The rest made a loud noise as it hit the nightstand and beeped until Evan fumbled to fix it.

Matt and Kiri watched in amusement as Evan attempted to explain that he and Cam were just talking, catching up on family news. Matt lay on the bed and let his older brother ramble on like a teenager caught with the preacher's daughter. It was fun to see him stumble over his words to explain.

"Help me out here," Evan pleaded to Cam.

Cam smiled at Kiri and Matt. "We were making out, you know, kissing. He's so irresistible."

"Whatever," Kiri replied. "We're waiting for you guys so we can swim. The pool's closed but Matt talked them into letting us in."

"We're just about ready," Evan said, searching his pockets for his room key. "I had it a minute ago."

"I'm getting Evan a key holder he can clip to his belt for Christmas," Matt sighed. "His pockets are like black holes." Matt climbed off the bed and went to open the door for his brother.

Cam changed quickly and met the men in the hall. Evan wore his robe, and Cam made him march back in the room and change. "I'm not going to be seen in public with that robe, mister. Throw on a shirt on or go in just your bathing suit, but I'm going to burn that thing."

Evan pouted but obeyed. The pool was empty and they relaxed, watching Matt and Kiri swim. Evan and Cam decided to sit in the whirlpool; he turned it on and helped her inside.

"This feels great," Cam said over the noise.

Evan moved close to her and she sat across his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. The water jets kept pushing her off his lap though, so she settled for sitting close to him instead. He blew bubbles at her and tried to kiss her without tasting water. Matt and Kiri joined them and they talked for some time, then Kiri said she was tired, and wanted to turn in for the night.

"But it's still early," Matt protested.

"It's after midnight," Kiri said. "We have a long drive tomorrow."

"So?" Matt looked puzzled. "You're not driving."

"Matt, you are so clueless," Kiri said, motioning to Cam and Evan.

Matt understood but he wasn't budging. "You go ahead, Kiri. I'm just going to hang with my brother for a while." He settled further into the hot tub.

Kiri rolled her eyes and climbed out of the water. "Sorry, Cam. He's too dense to take a hint."

Cam smiled at Matt fondly. "It's okay, Kiri. Evan and I like having him around. Matt's the coolest sixteen-year-old I know."

"Thanks a lot," Kiri sniffed. "I'll see you later, Matthew."

Matt winced. "I'm in trouble; she's using my whole name." Kiri frowned at him and threw her towel around her waist, then stomped out of the atrium. Matt rose to take after her, but Evan stopped him.

"Stay, Matt. I miss our late nights."

Matt sat back in the water. "I do too, Evan. Remember how you and Keith and I used to soak after the concerts on the tour? Just the three of us. And you would never go to bed until you were sure Keith and I was asleep."

Evan looked at Matt in wonder. "You knew that?"

Matt made a face. "Of course. Half the time we went to sleep when we weren't ready, just so you'd get your rest. You always tried to pack too much into one day."

"There was always so much to do," said Evan. "Still is. I liked it that way, but now, since I met Cam, I'm not as anxious to keep busy. I find myself wanting to spend more time with the people I care about, instead of taking my career to the next level."

"So you think you're going to stay with us in Indiana?" Matt asked hopefully. "You could still get back to Nashville once in a while."

"I'm still pretty tied up, bro," Evan replied. "I just bought that studio, and I'm working on a new album."

Matt splashed water at his brother. "Mitch can run the studio and you can create songs from home, and then go to Nashville for a week to record them. And if you make a few videos, then you don't have to do as much publicity work."

Evan dunked Matt under the water and pushed away to the other side of the whirlpool, and Cam decided to get out before she was caught in the middle of their antics. She wrapped herself in a towel and sat on a chaise lounge watching them wrestle in the water while they argued.

"Sounds like you have it all figured out, little boy. But it's not like I can just walk away. I have a company to run." Evan laughed as Matt lunged at him and missed, falling under the water. He pulled his brother back to the surface and put him in a headlock.

"If you really wanted to, you would find a way to be with us," Matt said, pushing away from Evan. "All this whiny talk about how much you miss us and how you hate being alone, but when it comes right down to it, you choose everything else over us."

"Is that how it seems to you?" asked Evan, his face growing serious. "I do want to be with you, Matt. All the time. I feel like a part of me is missing with you in Indiana and me here. But Matt, how can I walk away, from my company, my employees? I'm the only product."

"Get some new blood, take a sabbatical, get them other jobs, whatever," Matt answered, his voice raising. "You're just hiding behind excuses. You don't really want to be with us, you just say that so everyone will feel sorry for you."

"No, Matt, that's not true!" Evan looked to Cam for help. She stood and walked to the side of the hot tub just as the water jets stilled and the pool area grew quiet.

"Matt, when Evan let you move to Indiana, he did it for you, hoping you would find the life and happiness you were looking for, despite the pain it would cause him to be separated from you." Cam knelt so she could talk at Matt's level. "It wasn't an easy decision for your brother and it still causes him grief to be separated from you. The world doesn't revolve around you, Matt, as much as it seems. It goes on, and we have to fulfill our obligations."

Matt was shaking his head as she spoke. "Cam, I am his obligation. He's my legal guardian. I can't do anything without his signature, not even get medical treatment. I know what his life is like, I lived it with him forever, remember? He's done everything he set out to do, he's got more money than he knows what to do with, and if he stopped for a year, he'd still be able to jump right back where he was and make another million. Why can't he do this for me?"

Evan slapped at the water. "Letting you move to Indiana, buying you a house, and giving you everything in it wasn't enough? What, you want a horse too? Go get it, and get pigs and cows if it makes you ecstatic. I only want to make you happy, Matt, but nothing is ever enough. Do you think I don't know that if I were to drop everything today and go home with you that two weeks from now you'd be complaining about me hanging around all the time? When I came to Indiana to see you, I was in the way, a bother, remember? Only Cam made me feel welcome. I can't do this, Matt; I can't be your candy man. I have a life, too and much as I love you, and Matt I do love you, things aren't going to change right now."

Matt crossed his arms and bit at his lip. "What you're telling me is that I'm not important enough for you to give it all up. Cause Evan, if you loved me, and you say you do, you would walk away now and go home with me, and be the da...brother I need."

Cam's heart tore. Lord, this young man needs a mother and father. How can Evan fulfill that role? Matt has spent his entire life without parents, and soon he will be of an age to be a parent himself. He is such a needy child still, Lord, and yet he tries to be so good, to give to others the love he feels he is lacking in his life. We have to do something, rather Evan does, and I'm not family. Evan can't walk away from his work, and Matt is being very unreasonable. Matt knows this, too, but he can't seem to help himself. What can we do?

Evan was staring at his brother. Cam was sure the same thoughts were swirling in his head that she was thinking, and she waited, wondering if maybe she should leave. This was between Matt and Evan, a family problem. Cam knew however, that both of them depended on her for support, and she decided to stay, for both of their sakes. She sat between them on the side of the hot tub.

"I'm coming home for Christmas," Evan finally said. "We'll talk about this then. I have to finish this tour. People have paid their hard-earned money to see this and I won't let them down. I'm a professional, and I keep my word."

Matt eyes were red-rimmed. "I know how important your work is, and I know you have to do this tour. I just want...I just want to know..."

"That you're more important than anything," Evan finished. "You are, Matt, I swear. All the work, everything I've ever done, it's for the glory of God and for my brothers. And bless God, Matt; we've been successful beyond our wildest dreams. Unfortunately, with success comes responsibility. I've become more than just Evan Beers, guy with a guitar. I'm Evan Worthy, and people pay for me. That pay feeds and clothes you, Keith, and my employees' families. I feel that responsibility. Sometimes I do want to walk away from it all, and do what you did, start a normal life in a small town. I want to settle down, marry, raise a family, have you and Keith hang at my house, play with your kids, all that stuff. But I don't know that I ever will. God called me to this work and God's calling you to something. So Matt, please, don't tell me I don't love you enough if I do what I have to. No one's life is perfect; we all wish we could do more."

"I know, Evan. I'm real selfish sometimes."

"No, Matt, you're scared. You feel alone, abandoned." Cam reached out for his hand. "Like the orphan that you are. But God made loving provision for you, in an older brother who raised you and tried to be a parent to you. Do you think Evan didn't feel alone and overwhelmed sometimes? He tried to be both mother and father to you, but he couldn't, because he wasn't."

She slipped into the water and took Matt's other hand also. "Part of God's provision for you was in Evan's success, and that took him away from you also. But God never left you, Matt. He's in you, and He's in that lovely house in Indiana, He's in me, and Keith and Kiri. We are the answers to your prayers, God's arms around you here on earth. You're not alone, and you never will be, whether you're with us or not. God will never leave you or forsake you, sweetheart. You have to discover that for yourself."

"Why did he let me grow up without a mom and dad, then? How come I didn't have parents like everyone else?"

"Why did he make me the sole support of our family?" Evan asked. "What about Keith? Why is he disabled? Matt, those are questions we can't answer, and we may never know anyway. We're here to glorify God and to lead others to Him—others just like us who need someone to lean on and help them. Life is hard, Matt, not a free ride."

Matt let go of Cam's hands. He climbed out of the hot tub and dried his face and hair, then wrapped a towel around himself. "I'm going to bed, Evan. I'm beat. Will I see you in the morning?"

Evan stepped out of the tub also, and dried himself. "I'm leaving around noon for Grand Rapids. Do you want to ride along, and then I'll send you home as we go to Chicago?"

"I don't know," Matt answered. "I've got a Christmas party at church."

"It's at our barn," Cam reminded him. "You might want to be there, since you're giving it."

Matt smiled briefly. "I'd rather go with Evan. We wouldn't have much time together anyway; I guess I'll wait till you get home. It's only a week and a half."

Evan helped Cam out of the tub and she pulled on her terrycloth cover. He put his arm around Matt's shoulder as they walked to the elevator. "Maybe when I get to Indiana we could have a guy's night, just you, me and Keith. Hang out, do stupid stuff like we used to on tour."

"Like drive the bus through Taco Bell and arm wrestle?" Matt said hopefully.

"Whatever you want, it's your call," Evan replied. "We can drink cans of pop and have a belching contest."

"Aw, you always win," Matt grumbled, winking at Cam. "Let's do something I have a chance of winning."

"Okay, we'll play chess," Evan laughed. "You're the brain."

"No, you have me confused with Keith," Matt returned. "I'm the good looking one, you're the moneybags, and Keith is the brain."

"I know I picked the right one," interjected Cam. Evan grinned and pulled her to him. The elevator opened and three startled young women gasped, calling Evan by name. He merely smiled and waved to them, then pressed the elevator doors.

"I think they were fans," Matt commented.

"Probably," answered Evan. "But I feel like being with you tonight." He hugged his brother.

♥

When they arrived at their rooms, Cam said goodnight to the men and slipped into her room before Evan could object. He and Matt needed time together. Cam was slightly surprised that her sisters were still awake, and that they were excitedly waiting for their older sister.

"What's up?" Cam asked as she closed the door.

Kiri squealed and grabbed Cam's arm. "Ooh, Cam, Sydney's got big news! Go ahead, Syd!"

"I will, if you let me." Sydney floated toward her sister with her left hand outstretched. "Keith asked me to marry him and I said yes. We're getting married at Christmas, when Evan is home."

Cam stared at the diamond on Sydney's finger. "It's a little soon, isn't it?"

"Not at all." Sydney knocked lightly on the men's door. Keith opened it, grinning, and entered. "We want to do it as soon as possible."

Cam grimaced. "You've only known each other since August. Marriage is forever."

"Duh, Cam," Sydney scoffed and held tightly to Keith. "When it's right, it's right."

"You're still infatuated with each other," Cam protested. "It's not the same as love, which develops over time...You're still in the wow stage."

"It's forever," Sydney insisted. "So get used to it. Keith and I are getting married no matter what you or Evan says."

Cam sighed. "I don't mean that I don't approve, honest. I love you Keith, like a brother already. But I want you to be sure."

"I'm sure," replied Keith, nodding at Sydney. "She's all I ever wanted in a woman. I'm so happy I could burst."

Sydney hugged her fiancée and helped him into a chair. She turned to Cam. "We are absolutely right for each other, Cam. You know that. Keith and I have the same goals, the same outlook on life, we even think alike. It's as if we've been waiting all our lives for each other. It won't matter whether we marry now or ten years from now, nothing will change."

"I hope not, for both of your sake...and your children. Did you think about that? Where you will live, and do you both want kids?"

"Cam, stop thinking with your head and think with your heart," Sydney sighed. "We'll live at the house, with Matt and Evan. Our songs will support us, or Keith's work. And if babies happen...so much the better."

Cam rubbed the back of her neck. "Sydney, no offense, but you can't remember to put the lid back on the milk let alone take care of a baby. This isn't a game, it's life. Babies require constant care."

"Oh, Cam, stop worrying! You'll be there, running the household still. I know I can lean on you." Sydney hugged Keith around his neck. "And with the money we make from our songs, we can afford a nanny."

"Sydney..." Cam shook her head. "Keith, you realize Sydney won't ever work. If anything happens to Evan, how will you support her?"

"I'll do what I can," he answered. "I'm not stupid, just disabled."

Cam folded her arms. "I know that. You're also a very wise man, more than most men your age. But don't get married just because you want her, and you know what I mean. Marriage is more than sex."

"Give us some credit!" Sydney groaned. "We are adults, not teenage bundles of hormones. Physical love is just an extension of our feelings for each other."

"Personally, I can't wait," admitted Keith. Sydney swatted him. "This is our decision, Cam. We don't expect you or Evan to agree, and we're not asking your permission. We just want you to share with us this wonderful thing, to witness the start of our life together."

"But it's less than two weeks away!"

"Happy, Cam," Sydney reminded her. "You're sharing in our happiness."

"I can handle the marriage," Cam grumbled. "It's the planning for the wedding I'm panicking over."

"Sydney stepped away from Keith and went to her sister. "We don't want a big wedding, just family. Maybe our church friends at the reception, but I want my wedding to be totally private. Right, Keith?"

"Whatever you say, dear," he replied.

"He's got the husband part down already," laughed Cam. "Did you tell Evan?"

"He's on the phone," Keith said. "We wanted to tell him together, but I'll tell him as soon as I can tonight."

Cam sighed and hugged her sister, then Keith. "Well, we better tell him soon. He has to make sure his schedule is empty for this. What day?"

"Christmas," said Sydney.

"No, not Christmas," pleaded Cam. "Let's have a family Christmas, and then do the wedding. Even the day after. It's too much for one day."

Sydney and Keith looked at each other. Neither wanted to wait an extra day, but they did want Cam to approve, so Keith nodded, and said that the day after, a Sunday would be perfect. That way, the church would still be decorated, and no one who would come to the wedding would be hindered by the holiday. Cam breathed a sigh of relief, her head already full of preparations. She was thinking of what to cook, shopping for Sydney's dress, the invitations, and even how Evan would react. Imagine, her sister married...before Cam. She felt a twinge, but pushed it away, reminding herself that if things kept going well between her and Evan, she could very well be getting married herself in the next two years. That wasn't a bad prospect, though she was a bit jealous of her sister.

"Well, Sydney, we have some plans to make. Better send that fiancée of yours back to his room so we can talk all night." Cam smiled at the two of them. "I have to admit, Keith you're the one I would choose for her also. I'm so thrilled that we will really be family."

Keith stood and started for the door. "I knew the moment Sydney saw me stand up at Olive Garden, that she was the one. I'll love her forever, Cam, with all my being and I will never hurt her, or do anything to bring shame to her. And I will give her children, if she wants, and we'll make you proud. You'll see."

Cam was sure he would. She hugged Keith and closed the door behind him, and then she and her sisters settled in for a long night of planning.

♥

CHAPTER 40

Evan was in the middle of dictation to his secretary, giving her instructions for the next couple of weeks, reminding her to clear his calendar of all but emergencies through the New Year. He told her to have Mitch handle the studio, and close the corporate office through the holiday, with pay, his present to the employees.

"Tell them all to report January second, but to start vacation on December twentieth, that's a Monday. I am not even going to think about my company during this time, so tell them Merry Christmas and I don't want to see or hear from any of them till January."

He was about to give her instructions on the new CD when he noticed Keith walk into the room with a grin as wide as the Grand Canyon. Evan turned the phone off and raised his eyebrows.

"You have that 'Sydney' smile again," Evan commented. "She makes you very weird."

"I know this is true," Keith agreed. "Sit down, Evan. I've got something to tell you."

Evan set the phone slowly on the table, searching his brother's face for clues, though he was pretty sure of what Keith was going to tell him. The look on his brother's face told Evan everything.

"Sydney and I are getting married." Keith said simply. He sat on the edge of the bed. "At Christmas."

Evan felt for the bed, and sat down opposite his brother. "No kidding." What he wanted to say was, 'are you nuts?' but he resisted the impulse, telling himself to stay calm.

"You've only known her a few months, Keith. How do you know what you feel is the real thing?"

Keith shook his head. "It's not like I've had a lot of experience," he admitted. "Or that I'll ever have another chance. No one has ever loved me before and she's perfect, beautiful, the woman of my dreams. Why wait, and risk losing her?"

"For that very reason, Keith—you don't have a lot of experience with this! What you feel right now might not be love...Think, Keith. A beautiful woman gives you the green light... with one condition."

Keith laughed. "Can you blame me?"

"We're talking forever, Keith. Not just a hot night in the sack."

"Life is short, Evan. Ask Mom or Dad. Neither of them lived past forty." Keith frowned, but continued. "I'm twenty-seven—thirteen more years, if I'm lucky. Years I want to spend with Sydney."

Evan had to admit Keith had a point, but he was still concerned about more than just Keith's motives. Keith wasn't fully capable of providing for a family, if he could even have one. Did Sydney know this was a possibility, that Keith might not be able to give her children, or that he may not be able to provide for her? Evan had planned to take care of Keith all his life, and had made provision for him, but would it be enough for Keith, Sydney, and whatever children they had to live on? Sydney certainly wasn't capable of holding down a job; Evan knew that. On the other hand...if Keith were happy... it would be a small price for Evan to pay, to support him. Keith was right, his life most certainly could be short and if he had a chance to be loved, he deserved to be like every other man, a husband, a father, complete. Evan wanted Keith to have the life he dreamed of, and it would not be too much to help him find it.

"So, what do you need me to do?" asked Evan.

"Be my best man," Keith replied, shaking his brother's hand. "Just show up in a suit, and hold me up during the service."

"I would be honored," Evan said, pulling his brother close for a hug. "I'm so jealous I could spit."

Keith laughed. "Cam would have you in a minute. I fully expect you guys to do the same thing."

Evan shook his head. "I don't see how; I won't take her away from Matt and Kiri, and now she's going to be needed even more with the household growing."

"Maybe we should all live there," Keith said. "That way, we'd be able to care for each other."

"I don't know about having Matt and Kiri together all the time," replied Evan with a grimace. "She'd kill him...or worse."

Keith agreed, but merely grinned. He shuffled to the bathroom and knocked on the door. "You going to be in there all night, little boy?"

"Is it safe to come out?" Matt asked, poking his head out the door. "You told Evan?"

"I don't know why you think I have any say in whether Keith marries," Evan said, pulling off his shirt. He sat on the bed, and bent to remove his socks. "He's a grown man. It had to happen sometime."

Matt was already undressed and flopped on the bed next to Keith. "So it's okay that Sydney's moving in? Can we have Cam and Kiri move in too? And can I live in the barn, in the rec room?"

"I think not," Evan replied. "I want you right under Cam and Keith's nose. You keep your bedroom. Cam and Kiri will stay at the Anderson house for now. We had a conversation not too long ago about temptation, remember?"

Matt rolled his eyes. "She won't let me anyway."

Evan looked at him severely. "That's not the answer I was hoping for."

"It's the only one I have," Matt laughed. "Relax, Evan. I'm not a mindless animal."

"Relax?" Evan shook his head. "Not till you're thirty and safely married."

Matt threw his pillow at his brother, and then ducked when Evan returned it. Jumping up from the bed, Matt tackled Evan and they both fell onto the floor. Evan was ready for him, and within seconds had his younger brother in a headlock, his knee in Matt's back.

"Who's the man?" Evan laughed, pressing his knee into his brother.

"Not you," Matt answered, though he was in no position to argue. Evan held him down a while longer, and then declared that he should get some sleep.

"Cam's going to be freaking about the wedding plans. She'll probably be up early preparing the menu for the reception." Evan grinned, picturing Cam writing a grocery list. "She'll have us all running around like crazy to get ready. You sure you're up to this, Keith?"

Keith yawned and lay on the bed. "No, but I plan to stay out of her way, and merely show up on my wedding day. She'll never notice."

"That is truth if I ever heard it," agreed Evan. He slipped into his bed and turned out the light. Matt followed suit, and doused the light on his side, making the room totally dark. Evan's thoughts were swirling inside his head, mostly of the many changes in their lives since the move to Indiana. Who would have guessed Keith would be married before the year's end, and what would the next months bring? By this time next year, Keith and Sydney could have a baby, Evan's niece or nephew. If Keith could have children. Evan prayed for his brother, asking God to bless him and Sydney, that they would have a long and happy life together. And that someday, Evan and Cam would follow the others in marriage. Evan smiled to himself as he willed his body to sleep. Marrying Cam would be his goal for the next year, if they could reach a compromise in the living arrangements. Matt had to be considered before anything else; his life in Indiana could not be interrupted for any reason. There had to be a way, Evan reasoned. He just couldn't think of one now.

♥

Evan rose before seven and moved quietly to the door between the rooms, listening for any sign of life. Hearing nothing, he went to the bathroom and dressed, taking care not to wake his brothers. He carried his shoes, rather than sit on the bed to don them, and moved into the hall to get a newspaper. As he shut the door, he glanced toward Cam's room, and laughed quietly as she closed her door and started down the hall. Evan slipped behind her and kissed the back of her neck, causing her to gasp and turn quickly around.

"Oh, Evan you scared me!" she laughed, slapping at his chest. "What are you doing up so early?"

"I wanted to see how you were handling the big news." He kissed her properly this time. "We're about to become relatives."

She sighed. "That doesn't mean we can't be together, does it?" Cam played with the buttons on Evan's shirt as she talked. "Because if it does, we're breaking those two up right now. I'm not letting go of you for anything."

"Good." Evan put his arm around her and walked to the hotel restaurant. They found a table, and Evan ordered omelets for the both of them. He waited as the server placed orange juice and water in front of Cam, accepted a cup of coffee, and then sat back, holding her hand.

"So tell me Cam. What are your thoughts on this wedding?"

She hesitated, sipping her juice and playing with her napkin. "I love Keith, you know that...and he's the best choice for Sydney, by far...but, Evan." Cam stopped, biting her lip.

"You don't want them to get married?" Evan stared at her troubled face.

"She...Evan, Sydney can't cook, clean, pay bills; she can't even remember to put the milk away! How is she going to care for a husband and family?"

"You'll still be there, won't you?" Evan asked.

"Of course. I can't leave them on their own. Keith would starve."

Evan shook his head in agreement. "She'll need you to teach her, and I know you will. Matt will help, I'm sure. And as far as children are concerned, I'm not even sure Keith can have any. All those years of medicine and treatments, Cam. His doctor said it's unlikely he will be able to reproduce—to father children."

"Oh, Evan."

"He really doesn't know. So I don't want to say anything to Keith, what if the doctor's wrong?"

Cam sighed and shook her head. "God may have other plans. Anyway, if they do have children, they'll need help. Keith can't chase a child, and Sydney won't keep a close enough eye on it. She'll forget it's hers."

"She's not that bad, Cam." Evan laughed and sipped his coffee. "Keith will be a good dad, one way or another. We have to believe that."

"I know he will, Evan. All three of you will make wonderful fathers to your children."

Evan looked at her slyly. "Do you picture us as parents?"

Cam grinned. "Yes, like right now. We've both already raised a family."

"Do you want kids, Cam?"

She thought for a moment. "Honestly, I can't see that far in the future. All I want right now is you, Evan. I want to give you the love, appreciation and comfort you need, for as long as you allow me." She kissed his knuckle. "And if that leads to children, so much the better."

"Good answer, Cam." He sipped his coffee. "So, can you pull a wedding together in about ten days?"

Cam scoffed. "Piece of cake." She made a face. "As soon as we get home, I'm going to be working on this twenty-four seven. I won't come up for air until you arrive."

"Fine, but after this is over, you're mine for the rest of vacation." The server placed food on the table and disappeared again. Cam and Evan ate silently, thinking about the tremendous event about to take place. Evan knew Cam would be consumed with plans right up to the ceremony, and he was glad that the tour would be over just before, except that she would surely put him to work on details from the moment he arrived home. If a reception was held at home for the couple, they had all better stay out of Cam's way and keep the house spotless if they valued their lives.

♥

Since Evan's bus was going to leave at noon, Cam woke the rest of the group when she returned to the room and arranged for them to eat brunch together before he left. She sent Matt to a restaurant, and they ate take out on the bus, discussing wedding plans with Keith and Sydney.

"I want the wedding to be private, just family and maybe a few close friends if Keith wants them," Sydney said. "And then we can have a reception at the house for whomever, people from church or family."

"I'd like to have Mitch and Gloria at the wedding," Keith added. "They're family to me. That's about it. I just want to get it over with and start our life together."

Sydney smiled and patted his hand. "Keith and I plan on living at his home, if that's acceptable to you, Evan. You own the house, and we never really asked."

"Of course, I wouldn't have it any other way," Evan assured them. "It won't be as private as a newly married couple would like, but Matt needs someone."

"Cam will be there," Matt replied. "Won't you?"

"Yes, for as long as you need me. Nothing changes except Sydney's living arrangement."

Matt leaned over and whispered in Cam's ear, "I might want to live with you the first week."

She smiled, agreeing. "That would be a good idea."

Mitch boarded the bus. "Ah, lunch. What'd ya bring me?"

Evan held up a half-eaten sausage biscuit. "I saved this for you. I thought it was in our contract that you get all the leftovers."

"No, that was you," Mitch teased, but took the biscuit from him anyway. "We leave in less than thirty minutes, so you'd better start saying your good-byes now. And Gloria said not to leave wrappers everywhere or she'll tell Cam."

"They wouldn't dare," Cam replied, rising and gathering the garbage. "Did Keith and Sydney tell you their news?"

Mitch shook his head. "No...but I have a hunch I'm going to like it."

Keith grinned. "We would be pleased to have you and Gloria with us as we say our vows the day after Christmas in our church."

Mitch leaned out of the bus. "Gloria!" he called loudly. "Get over here, Keith's got something to tell you."

She boarded the bus and went right for Sydney's ring. "I knew it! When?"

They told her, inviting Gloria as they did her husband. She let out a whoop and hugged Sydney. "We'll be there; we wouldn't miss it for the world. Oh, Keith, I always knew you would make some woman very happy. You stayed in the shadows, kept to yourself, but I knew that someday the right person would draw you out of your shell."

"Sydney jerked him out of his shell," laughed Matt. "From the minute she decided she wanted him, he didn't have a chance."

Keith hugged Sydney to himself. "I still feel like I'm dreaming. Sydney is the best thing that ever happened to me."

"No," disagreed Matt. "Evan allowing us to move to Indiana was the best thing for all of us. He gave us a chance at a normal life, and we just took it from there. Now, we have a whole new family, a sister, almost a mom, and pretty soon we'll have horses."

"Who told you?" laughed Evan.

"We have no secrets," Cam replied. "So, Gloria. How are you at planning a wedding?"

She smiled. "Anything you need, Cam. I'm so excited I could scream."

"You already did," reminded Mitch. "Okay, we need to get this show on the road, literally. Evan, kiss this wonderful woman and send her home to plan the big day. We'll see all of you at Christmas." He and Gloria either hugged or shook hands with the group and left the bus while the rest said good-bye to Evan. When all were gone except Cam, she kissed him heartily and promised more when he came home at Christmas.

"I'll be there on the twenty-second," he reminded her. "Plan on doing nothing but holding me."

Cam laughed. "That will be a bit tricky when I feed you dinner, but baby, these arms are yours the rest of the time." She became serious. "Thanks, Evan for having us, and all you did to make this special for me. I promise that when you come home for Christmas, it will be a holiday to remember, a real family day."

"I'm counting on it." He kissed her again, chuckling slightly as he caught sight of Mitch pacing outside the bus. "Duty calls, Cam. I'll see you soon."

She left the bus and hugged Mitch. "Take care of him for me. It worries me when he's alone."

"Gloria and I won't leave his side," he assured her. "See you at the wedding."

Cam laughed, rolled her eyes and hurried to catch up with the rest.

♥

CHAPTER 41

Evan knew he was really home when he drove the bus through gates decorated with evergreen wreaths. Matching boughs adorned the fencing in the front of the property, and brightly colored lights adorned the house, trees and any stationary object.

"So this is Christmas," he said to himself as he pulled the bus to a stop in front of the garage. He decided to see the family before unpacking, and opened the bus door with a loud whoosh. No one greeted him, but he wasn't disappointed; Cam had warned him ahead of time that they might be out shopping for either Christmas or the wedding. Evan walked through the yard, past a large nativity scene, and onto the porch, which was decorated in the same manner as the front gate. Through the windows, he could see his family and Keith's future in-laws working together to decorate a tree so big it stood almost two stories, all the way to the top of the open stairway on the second floor. Matt was at the top of the stairs, leaning over the railing, placing an angel on the tree, and Evan could hear Cam warning him to be careful.

"I'm not cleaning blood off the floors tonight," she teased.

Evan laughed to himself, knowing Matt would pretend to fall, just to see her panic. Sure enough, Matt made loud noises and "fell" down the stairs, to Cam's horror. She rushed to his side calling to him, and was rewarded with one of Matt's famous grins. Evan watched in amusement as Cam chased his younger brother into the kitchen, swatting at him with a roll of wrapping paper.

He decided it was time to make his entrance, and turned the knob on the door, but it was locked, to his surprise, and he never did get a key for his own use. He rang the doorbell and waited.

"Matt! Don't answer it," Cam called. "We didn't open the gates...Oh, look they're open! Get to the phone while I check the doors."

Evan stood at the door expectantly, his arms crossed. Matt peeked out from the window, and saw his brother.

"Cam, call the police! We've got an intruder, and he looks scary!"

"What?" Cam hurried to the door.

"Don't open it, Cam! You didn't see what I did!" Matt gasped, hurling himself in front of the door. "Just call for help while I find a gun."

"Very funny, Matt," Evan called.

"Evan!" cried Cam, throwing Matt out of the way. She threw open the door and fell into his arms. "We didn't hear you pull in, Matt had the Chipmunk song playing loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear."

"It's my favorite Christmas song." Matt stepped onto the porch and wrapped his arm around his brother's neck. "How come you never gave me a hula hoop?"

"The only thing that fit in your stocking was coal," Evan replied, punching his brother in the stomach. "It smells like pine."

"Cam decorated the whole house with real tree branches," Matt said, rolling his eyes. "It's like living in a forest."

"Christmas is all about decoration, and good food," Cam protested. "Matt's never seen a truly decorated house."

Evan walked both of them inside. "Our first Christmas not spent in a hotel. Wow, Cam. This place looks great."

Keith rose from his place on the couch to hug his brother. "The girls did it all. They even took us Christmas shopping so we would have presents under the tree. See?" He pointed to the presents along the wall, waiting to be placed beneath the branches.

Evan stood amazed at the transformation his house had undergone since Thanksgiving. Even the pictures on the wall were Christmas scenes.

"I brought over all our decorations, too, since we're here more than home anyway. Some of the ornaments on the tree are as old as me."

"Antique," commented Matt, bringing a playful slap from Cam.

"How in the world did you get this tree in here?" Evan asked, looking up.

The rest of the group laughed.

Sheer willpower," Cam answered, winking at Matt. "We cut it down; it was on the property by the river, and dragged it home. Getting it through the door was quite a challenge."

Evan smiled, imaging the struggle. "I don't even want to know. But it's perfect. Do we have Christmas cookies?"

"Is the Pope Catholic?" Matt answered, laughing. "Come on, bro. I've been looking for a way to get some without Cam yelling. She wouldn't dare tell you no."

"Don't be too sure about that," laughed Evan. He slapped Keith on the back and said hello to Sydney, then they moved to the kitchen. Cam poured eggnog for all of them, explaining to the men that it was the traditional Christmas drink. Evan wasn't fond of it but he didn't dare tell Cam. He ate a few cookies, listened to the family discuss the wedding, watched Cam's every move, and bided his time until he could find an excuse to be alone with her. He thought there was a chance they could slip away when Keith and Sydney went to the living room to work on a song, but Matt was glued to his brother's side, excitedly talking about his bird, and the cat that only he was permitted to touch.

"I'm going to train the parakeet to sit on my finger," Matt said, poking his hand into the cage. The bird squawked and flew away from him. "It might take some time."

"You'll do it, I'm sure," Evan said, barely listening. Cam was clearing the dishes, rinsing them, and setting plates in the dishwasher. When she leaned over, her hair fell into her eyes, and she brushed it back with her wet hand.

"And I thought we could look at some horses; I met a guy who sells them at a rodeo on County Road Seventeen, it's so cool, Evan. They let you ride the bulls."

Evan nodded, wondering if Cam was as anxious to be alone as he was.

"I signed you up as a rodeo clown and you can sing country songs standing in bull droppings," Matt said, knowing Evan wasn't listening.

"Great. Have you fed the cat today?" Evan saw the cat food bowl on the counter. "Cam, want to feed the cat with me?"

Matt groaned and left the room.

Cam dried her hands and turned slowly toward Evan. "The cat is in the barn."

"Oh, really?" Evan tried to sound casual, but the way Cam was looking at him, she wasn't fooled at all. He moved across the room and took her coat off the peg by the door.

She let him help her into her coat, and they hurried outside, almost racing to the barn. Evan turned on light switches and was surprised at how clean and normal smelling it was.

"The youth from church helped to clean it. They wanted to show you that they could be trusted to take care of horses, and they each plan to take turns cleaning stalls."

"I'm impressed," Evan said, pausing a moment to look around. "And it's warm in here. You have the heat on."

Cam nodded. "I had a feeling we might end up here if you made it home tonight."

Evan led her to the ladder and they climbed to the loft. Cam stepped away from the hole in the floor and watched as Evan closed and locked the door.

"I guess we want privacy," she teased, throwing her coat on the floor.

"Yep." Evan moved toward her.

"What about the cat?"

Evan grinned widely, closing the distance between them. "What cat?"

He circled his arms around her, and lowered his lips to hers, kissing her ever so gently.

"Is that the best you can do?" Cam teased, stepping away.

"I'm trying to be romantic," Evan protested.

"Be you," she encouraged. "Kiss me any way you like, Evan."

He looked at her for a moment then growled, "Oh, baby," and lunged, crushing her to him in a fierce embrace. He kissed her like a man starving for affection, devouring her, tasting her lips, drinking in the feel of soft flesh. As if caught in a whirlwind, Cam felt herself swirling, dizzy, with Evan kissing her so hard she could barely stand. His kisses moved from her lips to her neck, making her sigh with delight, and Cam felt her knees giving way to his powerful embrace.

"Evan," she gasped, fighting to stay upright, "I don't want you to misinterpret what I'm about to do, but I can't stand on my feet." He was too busy to answer, and Cam slipped to the floor, with Evan following, his lips never leaving her skin. She hoped to retain a shred of dignity by sitting upright, but it was impossible with the way Evan was kissing her so hard. Sliding backward on the floor, Cam found the same beam she had run into the first night in the loft and propped her back against it. This works, thought Cam, pleased with her resourcefulness.

"Trying to get away?" asked Evan, pausing for a moment to catch his breath.

"Not at all," Cam purred, reaching for him. "I'm just getting started." She pulled him to her by his shirt. "Now it's my turn." She held him in place, attacking his lips while he was on his hands and knees in front of her. Her kisses were just as fierce as his own and when she stopped and let go of his shirt, Evan collapsed on the floor.

"Cam," he moaned, lying face down at her feet. "How did you know? Every time I dreamed about kissing you in the loft it was just like that."

Cam played with his hair, which touched his shoulders again. "I knew from your music, Evan. I've always known you're a very passionate man; it spills out into the songs you sing, although you don't let it show in any other way."

"I try to be a role model," he answered breathlessly. "Of course, if anyone saw me right now, they might think differently."

Cam leaned close to him. "We're just kissing, remember?"

"If this is just kissing, what will the rest be like?" Evan wondered aloud.

She purred into his ear, "Fireworks, Mr. Beers."

Evan caught her arm with his hand. "We need to get married TONIGHT."

"Not yet, silly. This is Sydney and Keith's big moment."

"This is a very big moment for me too. I'd give anything to be wearing a ring right now."

Cam laughed and pushed his arm away. "To the river with you, mister, for a cold swim."

He moaned. "I would but I can't move."

"Oh, then I guess you won't need me for a while." Cam started to rise, but Evan regained his strength and grabbed her ankles, knocking her on her behind. "Hey!"

"I'm not done with you yet," Evan declared. He crawled close to her. "I have a question."

Cam raised her eyebrows. "Is it something like, did I hurt you when I hurled you to the floor, Cam?"

Evan grinned. "You were getting away. Desperate times call for desperate measures."

"Absolutely no more movies for you," Cam scolded. "Unless I do the choosing." She rubbed her sore bottom.

He wasn't a bit contrite. "I came a long way to see you, Camellia. I'm not letting you get away."

"Where would I go? There's only one way out of this loft, unless I jump out the window." Cam smiled at him and played with his hair. "Why would I go? There's nowhere in this world I would rather be than with you."

Evan sat up and took her hands in his. "I can't tell you how much it means to hear you say that." He kissed her knuckles. "Do you think, Cam...if we could work something out...if we could find a way...?"

Cam watched his face intently.

He sighed, pausing for a moment, and looked hopefully into her eyes. "I need you, Cam. You complete me; you fill in the missing pieces, things I didn't even know I lacked, until I met you. My life was full, between my career and my brothers, and I told myself that's all that I needed, but when they left..."

Evan stood, pulling Cam up with him, still holding her hands, his gaze steady on her. "I didn't know how I would live without Matt and Keith; I've never been alone, and I was afraid...but you encouraged me with your kind words, you made me laugh, cared for me even when you were grieving over your father's death."

Cam shook her head. "It was you, Evan who comforted me. I felt so alone, overwhelmed with responsibility. I needed someone who understood my pain, someone to tell me I could do this."

"My brothers were so crazy about you and your sisters, so happy. It actually made me jealous! Suddenly I wanted what they had...and I was already half in love with you from our correspondence."

"I didn't dare hope you might feel the same for me as I felt for you," Cam said, smiling. "You were wondrously funny, so charming...and then when I met you in person..."

Evan laughed. "I'll never forget it! You were belting out my song in the kitchen, and the look you gave me..."

"And here I am with my hero, the man of my dreams." Cam kissed Evan gently. "I want to fill your life with love, to make up for all those years."

He wove his fingers in her hair. "I wasn't alone, Cam. It really was enough, having my family with me, until you and your sisters came into our lives. Then suddenly it all made sense, the way I filled my days so full with my family and career that I didn't have time to think about how lonely I was. Being the responsible one is a bummer sometimes."

"Tell me about it!" Cam laughed, "All my life I've dreamed that someone would come along and take me away from all this...and now that you're here, I can't leave anyway."

"And I can't stay." He started kissing her neck again. "So what do we do now?"

"We make the times together memorable, and fill each other with enough love to last until the next time." Cam sighed slightly; his touch was making her light-headed.

"Cam," Evan whispered, his lips close to her ear, "I've reached every goal I set for myself, career wise...and I think with this new studio my employees will have steady jobs, and not have to depend on just me. My next CD will sell on my name alone, whether I tour or not, and the songs Keith gave me are better than my own."

"Matt needs you, Evan. He's not full-grown yet, he needs guidance from you. You're his parent, all he has. Matt is a good and honorable young man; you made him that. But your job isn't over yet, it may never be."

Evan stepped back enough to look at Cam. "I know. He's right, Cam. Mitch can run the studio while I create this next CD here in Indiana. I don't need to be in Nashville until we actually record it. I really don't have any excuse not to be here."

"It would make Matt so happy." Cam really meant it would make her happy.

Evan touched Cam's cheek. "So about that question..."

Cam waited, smiling into Evan's eyes.

"I know this is Keith and Sydney's big moment, and I wouldn't want to do anything to diminish that. He's found what he searched for all his life, and I wish him all the best. But you know what, Cam?"

He leaned toward her. "I want that for myself."

"How can I help?"

"Marry me. Tomorrow, this week, whatever."

"And you will stay?"

He nodded. "As much as I can. I'll have to split my time between here and Nashville, and it won't be easy for me...or you, but this is my home, where my family is."

"I'll make it worth all the trouble, Evan. Our time together will be special, and I'll love you so much you'll never feel alone again."

Evan kissed her again. "I know you will. I know you're the person with whom I want to spend the rest of my life, and I just want to get the formal stuff over and done. Does that make any sense?"

"Yes, but you do realize that we won't have a real life together for years yet." Cam ran her finger along his chin. "There will be much sacrifice on your part, because you'll be the one away from all of us. I can't leave them, not for any period of time, until Matt's on his own."

"I know, Cam. That's why I want to do this now. I can manage the time alone, knowing I'll have a wife waiting for me when I do return. Loving you will be a reward for my hard work."

"When, Evan?"

He grinned mischievously. "We'll have a preacher on hand the day Keith and Sydney marry."

Cam was smiling too. "And we'll already be dressed for the occasion, have our family with us, and..." She wrapped her arms around his neck. "We have a home to live in together from that very night."

"I'll let you wear my flannel pajamas," he teased.

She pinched his cheek. "Thanks, but I'll bring my own."

"So it's a go?" Evan asked.

"For all eternity, from now until forever, to the owner of my heart."

"Thank you for not singing that."

Cam slapped his chest and laughed. "You may be the singer in this family, but I am the cook, and if you want homemade pie for the rest of your life..."

He kissed her into silence.

♥♥♥♥

About the Author

Living in semi-chaos on the Maumee River, Diana balances work, writing, church duties and foster care, not necessarily in that order. She is the wife of a pastor, mother of two police officers, (we ♥COPS), a beautiful daughter, two awesome grandchildren, and a lovely little great -niece. She dreams of someday having a clean house or a live-in maid, but for now, she's happy with chocolate and any moments of peace. Check out her web page for more soon to come books!

www.dianamylek.com

Connect with me on Facebook

I'd love to hear from you.

Other book by Diana Mylek:

Novellas:

Hook, Line and Sinker

Lock, Stock and Barrel

Novels:

Waiting for Forever

What's Luck Got to do with it?

Nearly Beloved

Beautiful Loser

What if I Fall

