>>> GOOD EVENING.
I'M RICK SUGAR PLUM.
BREAKING NEWS TONIGHT OF AN
INCIDENT WHICH LED TO A FIRE AT
SANTA'S WORKSHOP.
DONNY IS LIVE AT THE SCENE.
WHAT'S GOING ON AND WILL IT
AFFECT CHRISTMAS?
>> WELL, RICK, WHAT WE KNOW IS
THERE WAS A FIRE CAUSED BY A
KNOCKED OVER LICORICE LAMP AS
ELVES WERE FLEEING THE WORKSHOP.
BUT NO WORD YET AS TO WHAT THEY
WERE FLEEING FROM.
STILL LOOKING FOR ANSWERS.
>> I SAW THE WHOLE THING.
>> IT LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE AN
EYEWITNESS HERE.
>> IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT MY
NAME IS.
A POLAR BEAR GOT INTO THE
WORKSHOP AND STARTED EATING
ELVES.
I DON'T WORK WITH THOSE ELVES
ARE BUT THEY'RE GONE.
>> IS THIS MAN SAYING A POLAR
BEAR GOT INSIDE THE WORK SHOT?
>> YES.
I BELIEVE HE IS.
BUT THERE IS AN ELECTRIFIED
FENCE.
>> IT DOESN'T MATTER.
THE BEAR CAME RIGHT THROUGH
FENCE.
THESE BEARS ARE HUNGRY AND
THEY'RE OUT THERE BECAUSE OF
GLOBAL WARMING.
THEY'RE CRAZY.
THE BEARS ARE COMING FOR US, YOU
ALL.
>> WELL, THAT'S SOME TROUBLING
NEWS.
ANY WORD ON WHO MIGHT HAVE BEEN
INJURED?
>> WELL NO, OFFICIAL CASUALTIES
HAVE BEEN CONFIRMED.
>> I CAN CONFIRM THEM NOW.
I FOUND THIS LYING ON THE
GROUND.
BEARS ARE POPPING ELVES IN THEIR
MOUTHS LIKE SKITTLES.
SHOES AND ALL!
>> IT LOOKS LIKE THIS COULD BE
FAR WORSE THAN ORIGINALLY
THOUGHT.
>> AGAIN, RICK, I DON'T WANT TO
SPECULATE AS TO HOW SERIOUS IT
IS WITHOUT OFFICIAL WORD.
>> LET ME BREAK IT DOWN FOR YOU.
I TELL YOU HOW BAD IT IS.
THIS TEENAGE WHITE ELF GIRL RAN
OUT TO ME, A BLACK ELF IN SWEAT
PANTS AND ASKED HER TO KEEP HER
SAFE.
THAT'S HOW BAD IT IS.
>> SANTA SUPPOSED TO BE HERE AND
HE'S NO WHERE TO BE FOUND.
CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED.
>> NO, IT'S NOT.
PLEASE DO NOT ANNOUNCE THAT,
SIR.
THANKS FOR THE INFO.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME AGAIN IN.
>> IT DON'T MATTER WHAT MY NAME
IS.
>> ALL RIGHT.
WELL RESPONSES ARE ALREADY
POURING IN FROM THE MAGICAL
BEING COMMUNITY, THE TOOTH
FATHERY VIA INSTAGRAM MOMENTS
AGO.
WINGS HEAVY WITH DESPAIR THIS
EVENING.
SENDING MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS
TO THE NORTH POLE.
SOME MOVING WORDS THERE.
>> SHE SOUNDS CRAZY.
WE DON'T NEED THOUGHTS AND
PRAYERS.
HOW ABOUT SOME GUNS AND
AMMUNITION?
MORE BEARS ARE COMING.
WE'RE UP HERE.
WE'RE DEFENSELESS AND SMALL AND
WE'RE CHEWABLE.
>> OKAY.
THANK YOU, SIR.
WE'RE GOOD WITH YOU.
>> HERE COMES AN ELF WHO JUST
EMERGED FROM THE WORKSHOP.
>> SANTA KNEW.
HE KNEW AND HE DIDN'T REPLACE IT
BECAUSE IT COST $5,000 MORE GUM
DROPS THEN A WANTED.
OUR PEPPER MINUTE BLOOD IS ON
YOUR HANDS.
>> LISTEN TO THIS SEXY.
HE RIGHT HERE.
THE FATTEST MAN IN THE NORTH
POLE IS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND.
HE'S M.I.A.
PRETTY CONVENIENT.
DON'T YOU THINK?
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
AND WHAT IS YOUR NAME AGAIN?
>> IT DON'T MATTER WHAT MY NAME
IS.
IT DON'T MATTER.
>> IT DOES MATTER.
>> ALL RIGHT.
MY NAME IS KITTLE DIDDLE.
I DON'T LIKE MY NAME.
THAT'S WHY I DON'T LIKE TO SAY
THE.
THAT'S WHY I DON'T LIKE TO SAY
IT.
>> WAIT.
I THINK I HEAR SOMETHING.
I THINK IT IS SINGING.
>> THAT AIN'T NO SINGING.
THAT'S A BEAR!
