

Broken Promises

Broken Promises

© 2019 Madison Publishing

Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form without express written permission from the author/publisher.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and events are the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to any persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my older sister, who always encouraged me to pursue my dreams. Jenn, here's to us and someday spending our old age somewhere warm.

Broken Promises

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

About the Author

Chapter One

Mallory

Given the circumstances, I couldn't exactly complain. The doctors were doing all they could for my cancer-ridden father. I knew he wasn't going to be in pain for the remaining weeks of his life, but that didn't make accepting his imminent death any easier.

My dad, the strongest, most _alive_ man I'd ever known, lay in a hospital bed, thin and sickly. _And dying_. His eyes were sunken and ringed with dark circles. His skin was pale, nearly translucent. Looking at him made me want to run as far as I could in the opposite direction. Not that I would. He'd been there for me for so many years, I couldn't even imagine leaving him in his time of need.

Of course, he didn't exactly think he was in need. Luckily for me, he was still perfectly coherent and had no qualms about dictating exactly how I should be living my life.

"You need to go back to school, Mallory. I don't need a babysitter," he insisted.

I hadn't left his hospital room since I arrived a few hours earlier. I didn't plan to, either. "You're right. You don't need a babysitter, but I'm not going anywhere. I finished my finals early. My professors understood that I needed to get home," I argued. It was true.

I'd gotten the call from the hospital just three days ago at the university I attended in Boston. In a panic, I emailed all my professors, begging to take my finals as soon as possible so I could get home. Each professor responded in kind, allowing me to take my final almost immediately instead of waiting nearly a week before they were regularly scheduled. Taking them early meant I wasn't exactly prepared for them, but I didn't care. All that mattered was getting back to my dad.

I drove up that morning to my hometown, a place I hadn't been back to for three years. After my freshman year of college, my friends and I rented out a place in Boston for the summer and got jobs. It worked out so well, we decided to stay in our apartment while attending school and save money on tuition. I'd always made my dad come down to visit me at my place in Boston rather than come home.

Casper, Maine wasn't exactly _the big city._ In fact, there were only a few thousand people living in town, with several hundred in the outskirts. It wasn't just small; it was _tiny_. I'd grown up there, had the same friends my whole life, and never once been out of the country, or even the state. It wasn't until I started looking at out of state at colleges that I realized there was so much more to life than a small town.

When I'd told my dad I wanted to look at schools in Boston, I thought he'd have a heart attack, but he just smiled and made hotel reservations to visit colleges. He didn't even question my decision, which made me feel guilty now. If I'd been home a single time in the last few years, maybe I would have noticed how sick he was.

"But you have your apartment in Boston," he said.

He sat up slowly in his bed, and I could tell he was exhausted.

"Leila and Sarah are going to sublet my bedroom for the summer. Obviously, I need to spend time here." I smiled.

I was seated in the uncomfortable chair beside his bed, but I refused to move. My ass was going to be planted in that chair until he was released from the hospital. I was still waiting to hear from his doctors.

"What about your job?"

"Dad, relax. I settled everything before I drove up. The bank granted me a leave of absence. You know I would never leave without getting things in order," I explained.

He straightened up even more in his bed. "Speaking of getting things in order."

"No!"

"Mal, we have to talk about—" he tried again.

"No, Dad. Not now." I shook my head.

_Not ever._ I didn't want to think about his death. I didn't want to discuss the matters of his estate as if it was a business deal and not the end of my world as I knew it. The time would come, but until then, I wanted to put it off. How would I ever get through dealing with it? My dad was my rock; he couldn't just _die._

"Okay, fine," he muttered. He picked up a puzzle book and pen and ignored me.

I grabbed the remote and turned on the TV, changing the station until I found something I didn't completely abhor. I wasn't used to watching television; my bedroom didn't even have a TV. My roommates each had one in their rooms, and they demanded we keep one in the living room, but I just didn't see the point. I'd much rather read or go outside. And so I relented, choosing to spend my spare time exploring the city while they rotted their brains in our living room.

Boston was huge. There was always something going on or some new place to discover. The only downfall was that even in a city with hundreds of thousands of people, I felt continually alone. Maybe it was time I came home, regardless of Dad's condition. I could finish my degree online. The university certainly wouldn't object considering my situation. I could move back into my room at Dad's house and call up a few of my girlfriends from high school.

Spending the summer in Casper would be good for me. I was trying to talk myself into it. I knew I would probably hate it, but it didn't matter. I would stay. For Dad. I looked over at him and smiled. He was already asleep, the book and pen lying haphazardly on his chest. I leaned over him and moved them to the table next to his bed.

A nurse appeared in the doorway and waved at me to draw my attention.

"Miss Wells?" she asked.

When I nodded, she motioned for me to follow her. I gave my dad another glance and then got up. She didn't speak again until we were in the hallway, several doors down from my dad's room.

"Has your father told you about his release?" the nurse said.

"No, not really. He doesn't really want to talk about the cancer. He just wants to discuss the funeral," I said.

"I can't say I'm surprised. Mr. Wells has been in a lot of pain, and although he doesn't complain, he will need a higher dosage of pain medications at home, over the course of the next few weeks as his pain increases. We need to make sure, though, that he has someone with him at all times, as the medications will make him a bit unstable, physically," she explained.

"That's not a problem. I'll be here for the entire summer. Longer, if necessary."

"Great. He already has a hospice service lined up, so he's good that way. And providing he doesn't take a turn for worse overnight, we're prepared to release him into your care first thing tomorrow morning."

Which meant there wasn't anything more the hospital could do for him. He was living on borrowed time now. I nodded at the nurse and asked her to check on my dad. I needed a drink from the café. When she turned back toward Dad's room, I raced down the hallway to the bathrooms on that floor.

I barely made it into the first stall before I heaved up my breakfast. It was like someone turned on a switch and everything came to light. _My dad is coming home to die._ It was so unfair. What was I going to do without him? My life was going to be so... empty.

I stayed in the bathroom for several minutes, waiting until my stomach settled a bit before I made my way back to his room. I entered quietly so I didn't wake him. To my surprise, he was already wide awake.

"Did you hear? I get to go home!" he exclaimed. His cheeks were pink with excitement.

I couldn't help but smile with relief. Maybe going home would be the very best thing for him. He might even get better. He could overcome the cancer, maybe.

"I heard. Do you have clothes to wear home?"

"Actually, no. Can you drive out to the house and get me some? I want to look my best when I leave this place," he announced.

"Sure. Tell me what you want," I said, jotting down which jeans and T-shirt he wanted and where they were in his room.

"Don't come back until dinnertime, Mal. Get your stuff unpacked a bit before I come home," he suggested.

I had to agree. I hadn't showered in two days; I desperately needed to freshen up at the house.

"Sure. I'll bring you dinner," I said.

"No way, I've already got someone bringing dinner at six. I'll see you then," he said.

He brushed me off, but I gave him a hug and then left, recognizing there was no way I would change his mind.

I made my way to my car, a recent purchase and newer model Chevy. I turned the ignition and took a deep breath. This was going to be harder than I anticipated. I drove through the streets of Casper, noticing there were dozens of children out playing in the warm sunshine. May was the beginning of tourist season in the area, and the weather was cooperating perfectly. I sighed as I realized I was going to be forced to interact with people I hadn't spoken to in years, people who thought very little of me and I of them. I had a feeling it was going to be a summer of fake smiles.

The town boasted a single stoplight three years ago, but I noticed they added a second near the corner of the grocery store and the one fast food joint. I smiled as I stopped when the light flashed red. Maybe things had changed while I was gone. The light glowed green and I kept straight, turning right three streets down. Another half a mile and I pulled into the driveway of my dad's ranch-style house.

It had two bedrooms and two bathrooms, for which I was truly grateful during my teenage years. Who wanted to share a bathroom with their parent? Especially their dad.

The yard was trimmed, and the porch looked like it had been somewhat repaired recently. Maybe my dad hired someone for that, since there was no way he was mowing the lawn or fixing up the porch in his condition.

The door was, as expected, unlocked. I carried my purse and a small duffel inside, dropping both bags on the couch. I walked through the kitchen and noticed how clean and fresh it smelled. Nothing was out of place; there weren't even any dirty dishes in the sink. He must have hired a housekeeper in addition to hospice; my dad was definitely not the organized type.

I went back to the living room, grabbed my duffel, and made my way to the back bedroom. It was almost exactly the same as it had been three years ago. The paint was a deep purple, the closest color to black my dad had allowed. The bedspread was black and purple; even the curtains were dark and gloomy. _What an emo child I'd been_ , I thought. I looked down at my bright blue T-shirt, wondering if my life in Boston had changed more than just my color preferences. I used to be a depressed little girl. I suddenly felt grown up, as if I hadn't realized I was an adult until that moment, when I saw the childish ways of my past. It was eye opening.

My desk was in the corner of the room, looking old and tiny. My office in Boston had a desk at least three times as large as the student-sized one in my bedroom. It made me chuckle. I tossed my duffel on the full-size bed and opened up the closet. There, underneath a loose floorboard, was the shoebox I never thought I'd ever want to see again. I was suddenly anxious to open it and let the memories come flooding back.

I brought the box to my bed and sat, lifting the lid. It was full to the brim with pictures, movie ticket stubs, and letters. I flipped through the photos first, ready for the rush of emotion. The first picture was one of my mother, who'd been a legacy in this town.

After getting pregnant at seventeen, she and my dad agreed to get married two weeks after I was born. But she'd left him at the altar; she'd left him and me alone for the remainder of my life. I often wondered how she could just bail on her own family. Luckily for me, Dad stepped up. He raised me. _Alone_. I closed my eyes, mourning the mother I'd never known.

The second photo made me laugh aloud. It was a candid shot of me on my dad's shoulders. I was probably about seven years old. I remembered the day perfectly; he insisted we needed some photos of us together and enlisted a professional photographer to follow us around all day. I only agreed if we could take some goofy pictures, too.

The next picture made my heart clench as if a vice was secured around it. It was a group photo from my senior prom. There I was, arm-linked to Luke Bates. He'd been my boyfriend for all four years of high school. He was two years older than I was, but I'd been in love with him since the first day of freshman year. He put off college for me, claiming he wanted to wait until I graduated and then go to college with me. But when I told him I wanted to go to Boston, he refused. He proclaimed he was just a small-town guy and wasn't cut out for the big city. After months of discussions and arguments about college, we pretended to be happy for one last night: prom. We broke up that night and hadn't spoken a word to one another since.

We were supposed to be together forever and he dumped me. Well, basically dumped me. Because he was afraid to take a chance on city life. But his rejection had only furthered my ideas to get away. I didn't want to be reminded of him every day for the rest of my life living in Casper.

_I wonder what he's doing these days_.

The shower spray was too hot, and it pelted my skin painfully. I didn't mind. I needed to clear my head. I had at least another hour until I had to go back to the hospital. I raised my face into the steamy water, cleansing my body, but it felt like I was cleansing my soul. There were so many reasons why staying in Casper was a bad idea, but if I was going to stay, I needed to let go of the hurt, the regret, and the pain.

I shut off the shower and heard a loud thud from somewhere in the house. I froze, unsure of what to do. In the city, I would have called 911 first and asked questions later. But this was Casper. I hadn't been out of the small-town life so long that I forgot people didn't knock here; They came right in, uninvited and full of gossip. I figured maybe one of the neighbors had seen me pull in and decided to check up on Dad's place.

I wrapped a towel around my body and wrung out my blonde hair, letting it fall in ringlets down my back. I opened the bathroom door and stepped into the hallway. I made it all the way to the kitchen before I heard another thud. It was the unmistakable banging of a hammer to a nail. And it was coming from the front porch. I made my way to the front door, slowly pulling it open and peeking my head outside.

I was floored.

My eyes met the hard, chiseled body of a shirtless carpenter, complete with tool belt and a hammer in hand. His muscles were well-defined, and his skin was bronzed from the sun. I raised my brows and pretended to cough. When he turned to me, I couldn't hide my surprise.

I was clad in nothing more than a flimsy towel and staring into the chocolate brown eyes of none other than Lucas Bates.

Chapter Two

Luke

I stared back at her, certain I was seeing some sort of mirage, not the girl who broke my heart three years ago. I barely managed to keep my immediate anger in check. What the hell was she doing here? Joe Wells had been dying from cancer for years, and she decided to come home when he was on his deathbed? Who the hell did she think she was?

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

She sounded stunned, but I couldn't tell which one of us was more shocked to see the other. "I could ask you the same thing," I muttered.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Don't play dumb, Mallory. Why are you here?"

Her eyes narrowed. "I _live_ here."

Was she serious? She was moving into Joe's place? I sighed, a defeated sound. I would have to assign a new carpenter to do the repair work Joe hired me for. No way was I going to spend the summer at this house with her.

"Well then, I'm sorry to have disturbed you," I said, looking her up and down.

She looked uncomfortable for a moment and then smiled brightly. "You could never disturb me, Luke." She turned away, letting the door slam behind her as she went back into the house.

I let out a shuttering breath. The woman was as poisonous as a snake and just as quick, ready to strike at the first movement. I couldn't imagine why she thought Joe needed her. He'd been battling his cancer for the last three years without a single visit from her. Hell, Joe even defended her when she demanded he visit her for holidays instead of coming home herself.

She was a spoiled rotten city brat now, though in all honestly, she was spoiled rotten before she even left Casper. She needed to go back to Boston and let her father enjoy his last few weeks on this earth. I wasn't about to tell her that, though. I just wanted to finish my work for the day and hopefully not see her again for the rest of the summer. I turned back to the boards I was replacing and got to work. Maybe I could get finished early.

Spoiled or not, she was still hot as hell. Her blonde hair was wet and curled wildly around her face. Her skin was tanned and looked as soft as I remembered it being. Her blue eyes were fiery, her lips full and pink. She was every bit as gorgeous as I remembered. Not much about her had changed. Her good looks, her spunky temper, and her habit of jumping to conclusions were all just the same as they were three years ago.

It was forty-five minutes later when she emerged from the doorway once again. She seemed more sure of herself but still on edge. She wore a pair of jean shorts and a gray tank top, which reminded me of the summers we'd spent together while she was in high school. Her long hair was pulled back into a messy bun and several curls framed her face.

"Thank you for helping my dad with the porch," she said with a forced smile.

I would have laughed if she showed any sign of sarcasm, but she seemed genuine. "Not a problem. Though, in his defense, he did hire me to do it," I said.

Her whole demeanor changed drastically in that instant.

"What do you mean he hired you? You mean you aren't doing it out of the goodness of your heart? What's with you? Still money hungry, huh?" she said with venom.

I fought to calm my anger. Her speech was almost identical to the argument we'd had years before. She actually believed I didn't want to go to Boston because I would have lost my job at J.P. Construction. Apparently, she still believed I was all about cash flow.

Little did she know, I took a portion of my paycheck every week and spent it on Joe, often bringing him dinner or renting a movie for him. I spent every Saturday fixing up the old barn behind the house, free of charge. I fumed at her assumptions, but I wasn't about to correct her. Her opinion of me was low and there wasn't anything I could say to change it.

I taunted her. "That's right, princess, not all of us get a free ride to college and a job that pays gobs of money and takes up so much of our time that we don't have the time to pay a visit to our dying father."

Her face fell and guilt set in. Even though she deserved it, I didn't want to hurt her that way. I drew another steadying breath.

"Mal, I'm sorry."

She pushed out her hip and thrust her hand on it in warning. "No apologies, Luke. Just stay out of my way while I'm here. I'm not going to have the same fights with you we had years ago. And if you think for a second that you know _anything_ about me, or my life in Boston, I'd advise you to keep your opinions to yourself."

"It's probably a good idea for us to stay away from each other," I muttered.

She stalked off the porch and to her sleek little car, tucking herself inside and driving away. I felt like laughing. The whole thing was almost identical to the last fight we'd had, the night of her senior prom.

I was late to pick her up. She was already standing on her front porch, anxiously awaiting my arrival. Her smile widened when she saw my truck, but it faded quickly, a more somber expression taking over. She was disappointed.

"Hey, Mal, sorry I'm late," I said, truly apologetic.

She shook her head and glared at me. "We have to be a Grady's Wharf in twenty minutes for pictures," she huffed.

There was no doubt she was pissed. She was like this constantly, never satisfied with anything I did. It hurt, but I didn't tell her that. I sucked it up and decided I didn't want to fight tonight. Tomorrow would be soon enough for another discussion about her college plans.

"Of course," I said agreeably.

I opened the passenger door to my old Dodge and helped her up. Joe Wells stood in the doorway of his home, waving passively at us as we drove off. I wondered when Mallory would notice how sickly he was.

We got to Grady's in record time and Mallory jumped out of the truck to socialize with her girlfriends, which left me with the task of trying to fit in with a bunch of high school kids. It was more than awkward, especially since most of the guys just wanted me to get them beer. No matter how many times I told them I wasn't twenty-one yet, they continued to ask. I was beyond frustrated by the time a few of the moms got us all lined up for a photo session. All the guys were against the railing with the ocean as a backdrop for the pictures.

"I can't believe you almost made us late, Luke," Mallory said, stepping in front of me.

She wasn't quiet about her disappointment, either, which left me to deal with the glares from the teenage girls and the sympathetic nods from the young guys. I was pissed. How dare she treat me that way in front of all her friends?

"Smile, kids," one of the mothers called out to us.

I put my arms around Mallory's waist and gave my brightest smile. It was surprisingly genuine. Even with all the issues we had, I loved her. Nothing would change that.

I closed my eyes to ward off the memory. I didn't want to think about the way we used to be or the close friendship we'd had during our four-year relationship. She'd been the love of my life and I would have done anything for her. If only she hadn't pushed me away. That night was probably the worst of my life, bar none. I didn't want to remember the breakup.

I glanced at my watch and realized I was going to be late. I pulled off my tool belt and walked around the house to where I'd parked my truck by the barn. I tossed the belt into the toolbox in the bed of the truck and grabbed a clean shirt from the cab. At least, I assumed it was clean. I took a whiff and it didn't smell foul, so I was safe. I climbed in my truck and drove to Penny's.

Penny's was the local seafood take out place. They boasted the largest lobster roll in the state, and anyone who could finish the whole thing in one sitting got it for free. I'd only ever seen one person ever eat the damn thing, and that had been my best friend Chris Baker, who everyone just called Baker.

Baker had worked at Penny's when we were kids, so he'd worked himself up to eating the whole lobster roll. I told him it was cheating. I wondered what he would think about Mallory Wells waltzing back into town. I would have to call him later and find out.

Penny herself was at the counter when I walked in.

"The usual, Luke?" She smiled.

She was in her forties, but she always managed to look fantastic, even working at a fish fry joint.

"Yeah, but I need an extra serving of shrimp," I said.

"Oh, got a date?"

"Not exactly. Mallory Wells is back in town," I explained.

Her sharp intake of breath didn't surprise me.

_"Mallory Wells_! It's about time she came home to take care of that father of hers," she said.

"She's only here because he's on the last leg of the cancer," I replied.

I didn't trust Mallory, probably because of our history, but she hadn't exactly proven me wrong over the last few years.

"I'm sure she just wants the best for her dad."

Penny was more optimistic than I was. I made a noncommittal noise and she seemed to accept it. She wrote down my order and went to give it to the cooks. There was a line behind me, so I made my way to one of the chairs set aside for takeout and had a seat.

Several minutes later, I was on my way to the hospital with a piping hot meal to share with Joe Wells and his daughter. I wasn't exactly looking forward to it.

The hospital was in the center of town. No one came or went without someone noticing and reporting it to someone else, who told all their friends, and so on. I knew, before I even stepped onto the pavement of the parking lot, that there would be rumors about my visit to Joe while his daughter was home. People would talk. It was the way life worked in a small town. Although I wasn't excited about it, I'd learned a long time ago to just deal with it. Fighting the gossips only seemed to egg them on.

I carried the box that held our dinners into the hospital and up to the second floor. Before I got to Joe's room, I stopped off at the nurse's station. Carrie, a nurse whom I'd been dating for a month, waited for me.

"Hey, handsome," Carrie said, leaning over the tall counter to give me a kiss.

It was chaste and void of almost all emotion. On my end, at least. She was nice enough, but I didn't feel the sexual attraction to her I'd felt with other women. Other women namely being Mallory Wells. Now that Mallory was back in town, I felt even more dissatisfied by my relationship with Carrie.

"I brought you dinner," I said, pulling the bag marked with her name out of the box.

She smiled. "I get off at nine. Want to come over tonight?" she asked, her voice dropping to what should have been a seductive level.

I wasn't seduced; however, I was turned off. If anything, I felt like scum.

When the boisterous laughter of one Mallory Wells floated into the hallway, I felt even worse. The kick her voice gave to my gut was unwarranted and unwanted. I couldn't stop the way I felt. Lust washed over me. Like her or not, I was still physically attracted to her.

"I don't think so, Carrie. I've got to get out to Joe's early tomorrow to finish up the porch," I said.

Carrie's face fell but she nodded her understanding. I was the one who didn't understand. Hadn't I told myself I should relinquish the job to someone else? Hadn't I given myself more than enough reasons to stay the hell away from Mallory? Why, then, was I doing everything in my power to stay close to her?

I was one big ball of conflicting emotions, my brain mixed up with the feelings from memories and lust. I smiled at Carrie and went over to Joe's room, where more of Mallory's laughter filtered the hallway.

Chapter Three

Mallory

My dad was in high spirits; he was excited to go home. He was sitting up straighter on his bed when I walked into his room. I wanted to believe that meant he would beat the cancer and be perfectly fine in a few weeks. I knew better, but that's what I wanted to believe.

We spent several minutes talking about memories from my childhood.

"Do you remember that trip we took to Niagara Falls when you were twelve?" he asked.

"How could I forget? You tried to throw me off the Maid of the Mist boat at the bottom of the falls. I spent that entire summer deathly afraid of water." I laughed.

"You blasted your depressing emo music as loud as the car stereo would go the entire ride back to punish me. Longest ten hours of my life!"

I'd forgotten about that. I let out a full, hearty laugh and realized that even though my dad had come to visit me every year these past few years, I hadn't really _talked_ to him in a long time.

I missed him. He'd been the only adult in my life throughout my childhood. I didn't have the luxury of going back and forth between parents. I was suddenly aware that he'd been mother _and_ father and he'd done a pretty good job. I couldn't find much to complain about in my childhood. Of course, when I was adolescent, I'd all but hated him. Now I wished I could go back to those years when life was simple, and the bond we'd shared was easy.

"I remember you telling me you were 'a woman' that summer," he said, his eyes alight with merriment.

"Oh, God! That had to be the worst conversation of my life." I groaned, remembering the conversation where I'd had to explain to my dad that I started my period. It wasn't a memory I wanted to relive or remember. _Ever._

"You have no idea how much I wanted to laugh when you told me."

I was appalled. "Wait a minute. You acted like you had no idea what I was talking about. You made me explain, _in detail,_ what happened. Are you telling me you knew and just wanted to drag out my humiliation?" It was definitely something my dad would do, though, so I had to laugh.

"Dinner's here," a masculine voice called out from the doorway.

I wasn't surprised to see Luke standing there. Dad had been kind enough to explain that Luke brought him dinner three times a week, even when he was at the hospital. _Especially when he was at the hospital._

"Good thing. I thought we were going to have to eat cafeteria food!" Dad said, feigning agony.

"The horror!" Luke mocked, thrusting the box at me. He shook my dad's hand and asked how he was feeling.

"I feel great! I've got my daughter back home for a while and the doctor says I can go home in the morning," he said.

Luke flicked his eyes at me but forced his gaze back to my dad. "I should have the porch finished by the end of the week, Joe."

"There's no rush, Luke. I know how busy you are."

Luke sat in the chair next to me and I handed him the extra-large basket that was overloaded with French fries, fish, hush puppies, and a biscuit. My dad's basket was nearly as full. I doubted either of them would be able to finish their meals. My basket was too much, of course, so I shoveled a bunch of French fries into Dad's basket.

"Don't hoard all that shrimp, girl," Dad said.

I laughed and forked over several shrimp. He smiled and began to eat. The nurse explained that Dad only ate well on the nights Luke brought dinners, so the staff allowed him to break the rules and bring in outside food. Normally, they were sticklers about dietary needs.

"So, Luke, how's business?" Dad asked. "I bet business is good this time of year."

My curiosity was piqued. Was Luke the boss of his construction company?

"You and I both know it's not my business, Joe. J.P. is a good guy to work for, though. I've got my choice of jobs and yeah, it's really busy. This past winter damaged a lot of roofs and the resulting water damage means we've got plenty of work for a few weeks."

"Well, if you're too busy to work on the porch, you know you can drop the job anytime, especially since I can't pay you right now," Dad said.

Wait, what? Luke said Dad was paying him. Why would Luke lie? I stayed silent while they reminisced. Maybe Luke _had_ changed over the years.

Luke gave my dad a huge grin and within minutes, the two of them were laughing uncontrollably. I was in awe at the ease with which Luke addressed Dad. It was odd for me to see him in my dad's life, since we'd been broken up for years. The memory of that night flashed into my head before I could stop it.

"Smile, kids," Mrs. Beacon instructed.

Even though Luke and I were at odds, I widened my smile, knowing these photos would show us as the "perfect couple." And, to the rest of the world, we were. The only people who had any inkling of the impending disaster were my best friend, Rainey, and Luke's buddy, Baker. They were attending the prom together in order for Luke to have someone his own age to hang out with since Rainey didn't have a date.

Rainey looked as miserable as I felt. Her dress was too tight, which meant she had probably put on a few pounds since she ordered it. She wasn't a skinny girl, but I didn't care what she looked like. She was my best friend because of how awesome she was, not the way she looked. Plus, I couldn't even imagine the problems a slightly overweight girl faced in high school. I'd been thin my whole life. What did I know?

Baker was attentive and he smiled at her constantly. I wondered if he actually liked her or if—and it wouldn't surprise me—it was just some ploy. Luke didn't have many friends, but Baker was my least favorite. He had little interest in making something of himself—no plans for college or getting a career. He just wanted to smoke pot for the rest of his life. I wasn't impressed. But he was being nice to Rainey, so I put up with him. I hoped his positive demeanor was real. Rainey needed the boost in confidence.

Luke's hands on my waist felt wrong, as if we weren't supposed to be together. The feeling made us both feel awkward and clumsy. Definitely not normal for two people who'd been dating for almost four years.

Finally, the photo session was over, and we all separated to head over to the school. The bus was picking everyone up at seven. I watched, jealously, as many of the girls were escorted to limos or town cars. Prom was a rite of passage and I was being driven to it in an old beat-up truck. As frustrated as I was, I forced a smile and tried to make the night memorable.

The prom committee decided to have our prom on a boat of all things. It was romantic, even if I was still wary of the water after Dad scared me a few summers before. I hoped Luke and I could work out our problems and maybe both head to Boston in the fall. Even if he didn't attend college there, we could at least be together.

The giant yacht was decorated beautifully, our school colors displayed proudly throughout the vessel. There was a live band and the dance floor was dim, perfect for those intimate moments. I wondered if Luke would even ask me to dance or if he and Baker would go out on the balcony and sneak cigarettes.

To my surprise, Luke wanted to dance right away.

"Dance with me?" he asked.

I smiled up at him. We were the first couple on the dance floor, swaying to the music of a popular love song. His eyes burned into mine and I realized he was thinking about how to say the words neither of us wanted to speak. He remained silent until the song was almost finished.

"Do you think we can make this work?"

I drew in a breath. I wasn't sure exactly what he meant, but I was positive I wouldn't like the direction the conversation was heading in.

"What do you mean?"

"There are so many reasons for us not to go to Boston, Mal," he said.

"What reasons?" I retorted. I knew he was afraid, but he wouldn't admit it.

When the song ended, he dragged me from the dance floor out onto the balcony and found us a quiet corner to talk.

"Where were we?" he asked.

He ran a hand through his hair, an action I'd once adored, and thought was sexy, but now I despised. Every little thing he did annoyed me.

I folded my arms over my chest defensively. "Reasons for not going to Boston."

"Right. There are so many reasons. Your dad, Mal–"

"My dad! That's your reason? My dad has nothing to do with us, with our future. How dare you bring him into this! He has been the one pushing me to go away to college, to get away from the small-town life. You don't get to use him as an excuse," I whispered harshly.

I knew better than to yell, but boy, did I want to. My dad was pushing me harder than anyone I knew to get out of Casper, to make a life for myself. He wanted more for me than he had in his life. And I wanted more, too. Girls in Casper ended up married and pregnant within two years of high school graduation. I didn't want to be just another statistic. I wanted more.

"Okay, forget your dad. Do you really want to live in a huge city with so many people around day and night?"

He was grasping for straws and we both knew it.

"I've already told you how I feel about city life, Luke. If you don't want to go, just say so. Stop trying to make me out to be the bad guy. I have been upfront and honest about what I want since the day we met," I said.

"I'm sorry, Mallory. We just want different things," he said hoarsely.

His eyes were red, and I thought he might cry. His sadness only fueled my anger.

"Don't apologize, Luke. Obviously, you don't know a single thing about me. Do me a favor, though. Stay out of my way for the rest of the summer and in the fall, I'll be out of your life for good. You win."

The agony of that night had lasted all summer and well into my freshman year of college. I hadn't dated much because of the ache my heart felt every time a guy called me "Mal" the way Luke did. As much as I told myself I wouldn't, I ended up comparing every guy I dated to him and each one fell short.

I finally ignored guys completely and focused on my job and my studies. I kept busy enough to forget the pain, or at least bury it deep enough that I couldn't feel it anymore. There was an occasional date, but only because my roommates forced it on me. But coming home had been like someone dug up the grave of my broken heart and spread it out for all to see. I tried to keep my conflicting emotions under wraps, but my dad suddenly stopped mid-sentence and looked at me.

"Mallory? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, Dad."

I lied, the proof plain to see in the tears that threatened to fall from my eyes. It was all too much. I didn't want to relive my past, especially not under the watchful eyes of Luke Bates.

"You've had a long week, girl. I think you should stay at the house tonight, get some sleep, and then you can come pick me up in the morning," Dad said. "Luke, would you give her a ride home? She's clearly exhausted."

"Dad, I don't need a ride. I'm fine," I explained. I didn't want to be alone in a car with Luke, no matter how tired I was.

"Don't you talk back to me, Mallory Anne! I'm still your father and you'll listen to what I say," he replied. He tried not to smile but failed. A grin formed on his face and he turned to Luke. "Well, you going to give her a ride or not?"

"Yes, sir, I'd be happy to."

Luke's dark brown eyes flashed when they met mine and he stood, tossing what was left of his dinner in the trash.

I was trapped. Disobeying my father was out of the question but I wasn't going to ride with Luke. I could probably just walk out with him and then jump in my own car. That could work.

"Fine, Dad. Whatever you want." I stood to kiss his forehead. "I'll be back first thing in the morning to pick you up."

"That's my girl," he said with a smile.

I returned his smile and made my way out of his room. Luke followed me and when we were several doors down in the hallway, I stopped.

"Why are you going along with him?"

"Why? He'll kick my ass if I don't. Joe isn't exactly someone I want to piss off, Mal." Luke's white teeth flashed out from beneath his wide lips. My breath caught in my throat, but I regained my composure quickly.

"You're afraid of him? He's dying. You give new definitions to the word masculine."

I laughed at him and kept walking down the hallway. I felt Luke's hand on my arm, and he pulled me into an empty room.

"You think this is easy? You broke my damn heart three years ago and I've been the one here, taking care of your dad. I'm the one who watched his health fail and brought him to the hospital more times than I can count. I'm the one who made sure he was taken care of. And what the hell have you been doing for the last three years? You've been living your life without a care in the world, including your dying father," he spat.

He backed me up against the wall and moved closer until his face was inches away from mine. "And don't refer to your dad like that! He's a stronger man than anyone I've ever met and falling short in his eyes is the last thing I would ever want to do, aside from spending any amount of time with his spoiled rotten brat of a daughter, of course," he sneered.

I couldn't speak. Couldn't breathe. There were no words for the emotions Luke evoked in me. I stood, frozen by his presence and silenced by his speech. Guilt flooded my entire body, along with another emotion, one I hadn't expected or experienced in a long time. _Desire_.

No matter how ill-suited we were for each other, I was still painfully attracted to Luke in a way I couldn't explain. It was more than just the way he stood up for my dad or even the way he looked. He'd grown up over the years. Luke was right—I was still a spoiled rotten child hell-bent on getting my way. Tears gathered in my eyes, but I didn't bother to brush them away. I was afraid if I moved, Luke would stop staring at me with that hungry gaze.

I bit my lip and his eyes flicked to the movement. When he looked back to my eyes, his were even hotter and I thought he might kiss me. He leaned in closer and I closed my eyes. His fist slammed into the concrete wall next to my head and my eyes flew open, surprised to find him leaning away.

"This is stupid, Mal. We need to stay away from each other," he whispered. He looked at his hand and not at me. "Come on, I'll take you home." He turned away and went back into the hallway.

The tears fell, unhindered and unbidden.

Chapter Four

Luke

I didn't bother looking back to see whether she followed me. If I were honest with myself, for even a second, I would admit that I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to push her against that wall and kiss the breath right out of her. It was out of the question, though, no matter how much I wanted to. Not only was she the girl who'd broken my heart three years ago, she was the daughter of the man I'd come to think of as a father.

Joe Wells had been my rock when Mallory went to college. I had been beyond lonely and Joe reached out, inviting me to dinner and out to batting cages.

Joe was gone for the weekend to take Mallory to college. I felt nothing but emptiness in the cavity my heart used to occupy. My apartment was on the second floor of the building and full of treasures from my relationship with Mal. She'd been an expert at helping me make the place feel more like a home. There wasn't a single thing inside that didn't remind me of her.

She'd convinced her dad to buy new living room furniture last fall so I could have their current set. The dishes were a mismatched set she found at a yard sale last summer. The rug in my bedroom was found when we went into a second-hand store downtown. The place was full of her.

I couldn't escape her presence in my life. Everywhere I went, I saw her, a smile plastered on her face. She seemed genuinely happy about going to Boston and leaving our relationship in the dust. It tore my heart to pieces every time she pretended not to see me. Eventually, I just started getting up at six so I could get my errands in town done first thing in the morning and have less of a chance to have a run-in with her.

But news in a small town spreads fast, and Baker had come over that morning to fill me in.

"She's on her way to Boston, dude," he said, taking a long drag off his cigarette. "Her dad drove her down himself."

No matter how many times I told him I didn't want him smoking in my apartment, he ignored me and did whatever he felt like doing.

I hadn't said much and eventually Baker left me alone with my thoughts. She was really gone. For the first time in my life, I cried. I welcomed the release of tears, vowing never to tell a soul about it. I needed to mourn her and our relationship.

It was about a week later when my phone rang, and her familiar number flashed on the screen of my cell phone. My heart stuttered.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Luke, it's Joe Wells. Do you have some free time this afternoon?" he asked.

I agreed to meet him but never had any suspicion that he was about to change my life.

I stopped at the main entrance of the hospital and turned around, expecting Mallory to be right behind me. She was nowhere to be found. I walked back to the room I'd almost kissed her in and found it empty. I thought maybe we'd missed each other, so I went back to the main entrance.

I barely made it to the wide glass doors when I saw her car tear through the parking lot. She must have snuck out a side entrance and gone straight to her car, hoping to avoid me. She wasn't getting away that easily. I ran to my truck and turned the key. The engine roared to life and I was out of the parking lot in seconds.

There was a trail of dust down the road to her house, so I knew I was on the right track. I whipped into the driveway and turned the wheel, coming to a stop just a few feet away from the porch where she stood. A cloud of dusted erupted as I slammed on the brakes. I jerked my door open, climbed out, and slammed it shut.

"What the hell are you doing?" she shouted, her hands balled into fists at her sides.

The dust flew around her. Her eyes were fiery and narrowed at me. I stopped at the hood of my truck, not wanting to get too close. I wasn't sure I could trust myself where she was concerned.

"Me? Am I the one who snuck away like a thief in the night and drove like a maniac on back roads they haven't driven in years?"

"Don't act like you give a shit about the way I drive, or the fact that I didn't want to ride with you. You wanted us to stay away from each other, remember?" she blurted.

Her cheeks turned red and I knew I must have struck a nerve.

"Mallory." I started forward.

Her words stopped me.

"No, Luke. You don't get to just be the victim and keep blaming me for everything. I am not about to take sole responsibility for the failure of our relationship. We were _both_ accountable. Not only me." Her voice faltered. "So just stop."

She turned away and I took the porch steps two at time. I pulled her into my arms, consequences be damned.

She didn't push me away, though. She buried face in my chest and cried. The heart-wrenching sobs had my heart clenching for her. Her tears soaked my T-shirt, but I didn't mind. She needed to let it all out. I stayed silent while she sobbed, recognizing her need for silence.

After several minutes, she pulled away, her hands swiping at the lingering tears. "Thank you," she said with a sad smile. "You want a beer?"

"Sure," I said.

I opened the screen door for her, and she pushed the main door open and let me follow her to the kitchen. She pulled two beer bottles out of the fridge and handed me one. She leaned her hip against the counter and took a long swallow.

"I didn't think city girls liked beer," I said with a chuckle.

She grinned wickedly. "I picked up a thing or two in college."

I sucked in a breath. If ever there was a double entendre...

"I don't doubt it," I said.

She raised her eyebrow at me but didn't respond. She drank more of her beer instead. Her hair was messy, and her makeup smudged, but she was still beautiful. I couldn't take my eyes off her.

"I know you care about my dad, Luke, but I'm here now and I am perfectly capable of taking care of him. I'll hire a contractor to come fix the porch. You don't need to work on this house for free anymore," she said, and then paused. "My dad doesn't need you anymore."

Those were the last words I expected her to say. She didn't understand. Joe never needed me. I was the one who needed him for the last few years. Joe held out hope that one day Mallory would come to her senses and come back to me, but I was more realistic. She was only here now because of her father's cancer. She hadn't come back for me.

As much as I didn't want to admit it, she was right. I didn't have any business being around Joe anymore. Mallory was more than able to take care of him. So why was I still bound and determined to hang around? There was only one answer: I was still in love with Mallory Wells.

I swallowed hard, trying to make the thought go down with the bile rising in my throat. Mallory waited for me to say something, anything. Her eyes bore into mine and I worried I would say something crazy.

"I have to go," I mumbled.

I drew my eyes away from hers but couldn't help but pass a glance over her body. She wasn't the young woman she'd been. She was a much more grown-up version of herself.

"No way, Luke. You're going to explain what you meant before, about my dad being sick for years," she demanded.

"There's nothing to explain. Joe's had cancer since you were seventeen," I said.

Her face fell. "He's been suffering for _years_?" she whispered, her voice hoarse. "He never told me, Luke." Her pretty blue eyes begged me to believe her. "He called me earlier this week and said it was a new development. All this time, I've been gone, and he's had cancer."

I didn't know what to say. I had thought she was selfish and only concerned about herself all this time, but Joe hadn't even told her about his cancer. I could almost understand why he didn't tell her. He wanted her to live a full life in Boston and not be plagued with the need to come home and take of him. He didn't want her to have to see him when he went for his chemo treatments and watch his body all but disintegrate. But she deserved to know, to make the decision herself.

Instead, he left the job of telling her the truth to me. He let my heart break over losing her and then break all over again when I realized he was going to die. Neither of them was going to be in my life once Joe died. Anger filled me; I wanted to kill Joe for putting Mallory through this hell now and for putting me through hell over the last few years. Lucky me, I wouldn't have to kill him—the cancer would take care of that.

My thoughts were mean and hardened, but I couldn't find room to care right away. I was furious with Joe. All this pain—his, hers, mine. It wasn't fair. My heart broke as tears slipped down Mallory's cheeks. She made no noise, though, and I was helpless to do anything but stare as the tiny saltwater drops made their way down her face. I couldn't move; I was frozen in place by my own bitterness. Joe would be the one who escaped this mess. He was the one got to embrace death while Mallory was going to have to live with the guilt she felt for the rest of her life.

And it was all because of me.

"I'm sorry, Mallory. I thought you knew," I said softly, still unmoving.

Her head whipped up and her eyes flashed. " _You thought I knew_? You thought so little of me that you believed I would leave my _dying_ father alone for all these years? You thought I was just some spoiled little girl running away from Daddy's cancer? I didn't know, and if I had, I would have stayed. I hope, though, that I would have had the good sense to dump you, even if I _hadn't_ gone to Boston. You're a nothing, just like every generation of deadbeats before you. Get out of this house," she demanded.

"Mal—"

"No! Just _get out!_ I don't want you anywhere near this house again! Stay away from us!" she screamed.

Her voice faltered and I made a move to give her a hug. I knew she was hurting and just lashing out at me. It was a 'kill the messenger' scenario.

"Get out! _Now!"_

She pointed at the door and I realized she needed some time to cool down. I turned away and made my way back to my truck. Tomorrow she would come to her senses about having me around. She would change her mind. I was sure of it.

Chapter Five

Mallory

The house phone rang an hour after I kicked Luke out of the house. I sat at the kitchen table feeling sorry for myself and spiraling into a depression about my dad, who apparently had been sick for a long time. It wasn't fair. I missed out on so much time with him. I figured he wanted to protect me, but I should have known, damn it! I deserved to know. I sighed. My anger wouldn't help him now. Or me.

"Hello?" I said into the receiver of what had to be the very last rotary phone in the whole country. My dad sure liked antiques.

"Mallory? It's Gabriella Peterman," she said in a high-pitched voice.

"Hey, Gabby. How are you?" I asked politely. I sniffed and looked around impatiently for a tissue.

"Oh, you know, living the life of a small-town gal. But I wanted to check in on you. I know you and your dad were close," she said as though he were already dead.

"We still _are_ close," I stressed, though given the fact that he hadn't told me about his cancer, it might not be as true as I hoped.

"Of course! I didn't mean any disrespect. I was actually wondering if you wanted to go get a beer with me at The Landing?"

The Landing was the local bar, a place I'd only been to once when I tried to sneak in with a fake ID. It had been an interesting night. I wasn't exactly in the mood for a night at the bar, but I also didn't want to be alone. Gabby was the lesser of two evils.

"Sure, what time do you want to meet?" I asked.

"The band starts at nine, but if we get there early, we won't have to pay the cover charge," she said with a laugh. "How about half past eight?"

I glanced at my watch. That gave me almost an hour to get ready. "Perfect. I'll see you there," I said.

Maybe a night of indulgence would help ease the pain my whole body experienced today.

I took a quick shower and managed to make myself not look too bad. My jeans were snug and the blue tank top I threw on was perfect for a night out. I put on some light makeup, including waterproof mascara, just in case I had a mental breakdown and started to cry again. It was entirely possible. My hair was wavy and long, in need of a cut. I found some black pumps in my duffel and strapped them on, determined to look like I hadn't just been given the worst news of my life. After a quick glance in the mirror, I grabbed my purse and headed to the bar.

Even a half hour before the band was supposed to start, the place was packed. I had to park in the parking lot across the street. There were a number of people loitering on the outdoor deck of The Landing. Most of them had a cigarette attached to the end of their fingertips. I steered away from them and toward the bouncer checking IDs.

The muscled guy at the door looked me up and down before asking for my ID. I handed it to him and couldn't shake the feeling that I knew him. I couldn't place him, though.

"Mallory Wells?" he said in awe.

I must have known him at some point. His blonde hair was cropped short and his gray eyes were eerily familiar.

"Yes." I raised my brow at him, hoping he would clue me in.

"It's Chris Baker!" he exclaimed.

I was shocked. Gone was the lanky twenty-year-old kid and a hot, older, more beefed up version of him stood before me.

"Baker!" I said, not certain if I was happy to see him, given he'd been best friends with Luke three years ago. I wasn't sure how he would feel about seeing me, either.

When his arms wrapped around me in a bear hug of epic proportions, I figured he was glad to see me. He lifted me off the ground and swung around in a full circle before he set me on my feet again.

"It's so good to see you, Mal." He smiled and handed me back my ID and then led me into the bar to a tall table in the back.

Gabby was already seated. She shuffled off her stool when she saw me and gave me a huge hug. "Mallory! I can't believe you're back," she crooned. "You look absolutely fantastic. Boston has been good to you."

"Thanks, you look good too," I said.

It was true. Gabby had been head cheerleader in high school and how she and I ended up being friends, I never really knew. One day she was just there, and she didn't leave. I wasn't complaining, though. Once upon a time, I'd been a perky, high-spirited girl, too. Reality had changed me.

"Sit down, you have to tell me about Boston," she declared, shooing Baker away.

He made a face at her and I laughed but he mumbled under his breath and then walked back to his post at the door.

"What do you want to drink?"

"Umm, whatever. I'm not picky," I said. I wasn't that comfortable, not in the bar, and not with Gabby. I needed liquid courage to face talking with someone I hadn't seen, or even thought about, in years. "Whatever you're having."

"It's a Bahama Mama. Jimmy! Two more Mamas," she shouted to the bartender. "So! How's life in Boston? Is it glamorous?"

_Glamorous?_ Not a word I would use to describe my crazy world. But I didn't want to dash her hopes for a life outside of Casper.

"It's pretty amazing. The nightlife is insane. On my twenty-first birthday, a bunch of the girls at school took me out to bar hop. I don't think I've ever been that hung over," I laughed.

She raised her brow at me. "Really? More hung over than Sam's house party junior year?"

I'd forgotten about that night. "Oh, man, if we're going down memory lane, I need to have a drink first," I said.

Like magic, Jimmy appeared at our table and handed me my Bahama Mama. I sucked down a bit and murmured my thanks.

"As I recall," Gabby started, "You were all by your lonesome that night, since Luke was visiting his grandparents up north. You drank an entire bottle of tequila and then threw up all over Sam's bathroom. Baker had to take you home and when he called Luke, you were pissed." She laughed and I joined in, remembering that night.

Luke had given me hell and forbade me to ever drink alcohol again. Even though thoughts of Luke made me feel a little down, the memory was one of our good ones. We laughed so hard we were nearly crying. I remembered now why I was friends with Gabby. She was hilarious.

"Okay, let's get down to business," she announced, her words only slightly slurred.

I was almost ready for my second drink and feeling the effects. It had been awhile since I'd had a drink, probably since my birthday, several months back.

"'Down to business?' Is this an official meeting?" I asked as Jimmy brought us another round.

"Kind of. Everyone knows Luke had dinner with you and your dad tonight. Did anything happen?"

She wanted gossip. The joys of a small town.

"No. I guess he's been hanging out with Dad a lot, so it was only natural for him to keep that up. But I'm here now, so he won't be around," I said.

"It's a small town, Mal."

"Yeah. And I have made myself perfectly clear to him. He needs to stay away from Dad and me. Can we talk about something else?" I was dying to change the subject. "Why haven't you married some local and settled down with babies yet?"

"I was married two-and-a-half years ago, Mal," she said, her voice drenched with sadness. "We're in the process of a divorce."

"I had no idea, Gabby. I am so sorry," I said. Apparently, I wasn't the only one drowning my sorrows in liquor. I raised my glass. "To divorce!"

Our glasses clinked but before we could drink, another voice joined ours.

"Don't tell me you girls are already hammered without me! And toasting Gabby's impending divorce, no less," the woman said.

I took in her dark hair and eyes, her high cheekbones and shimmering smile. It took me a minute to place her.

"Rainey?"

I was shocked. Not only was she no longer the chubby high school girl I remembered, she was the hottest girl in the bar. Her waist was slim, and she had on a summery dress that revealed her long legs underneath. Her eyes were caked with makeup, though, which indicated dark circles.

"You didn't think I wouldn't show for your homecoming party, did you?"

She gave me a hug and went over to the bar to discuss her drink selection with Jimmy. She returned with a Bahama Mama and sipped it as she sat.

"I thought you were living in LA," I said numbly.

My two best friends from high school were both in town celebrating... _My homecoming?_ I hoped they didn't think this would become permanent.

"I'm on vacation. Mom's been pressuring me to visit, so when she mentioned you were coming home, I figured I should make an appearance. Get the whole gang together, you know," she remarked.

She was a far cry from the shy girl in my memories.

"Wow. It's so great to catch up with the two of you. But I should tell you, I'm not here forever. My roommates are holding my bedroom in our apartment." I didn't want them to get too excited about my presence.

"Well, yeah, we figured. But if you're here for the summer, it's good enough for me," Gabby said.

"No kidding. I'm only here for the weekend, but I am thinking about moving back to town on a more permanent basis," Rainey whispered.

Gabby perked up. "Ooh, _gossip_! Why are you coming back?"

"Oh, you know, tired of the city life. I need to get back to who I really am. Everyone in LA is so fake. It's hard to take sometimes," she admitted.

I raised my glass again. "To Gabby's divorce and Rainey's move back home!"

I clinked my glass against theirs and felt true happiness and friendship for the first time in years.

My roommates in Boston were great. They were considerate and clean, but they weren't my best friends. The truth was, I didn't have a best friend anymore. There wasn't anyone I could talk to about my father, about my past with Luke, about anything. As I sat there listening to Gabby and Rainey go on about their lives, I realized how much I _missed_ the small-town life. I never thought I would, but the ache for being a part of this world again hounded me.

I sipped my cocktail and stayed silent, happy not to draw attention to myself. Gabby and Rainey rambled on about what had been going on in town and who was dating whom for nearly an hour. I listened intently, certain the conversation would eventually come back to me. Around ten, the conversation turned to our love lives.

"So, Rainey, do you have a guy back in LA?" Gabby asked.

"Uh, that's a no. Aside from buff Hollywood movie stars, of whom I haven't met a single one, by the way, men in LA are kind of... feminine. And I don't just mean the gay ones. It's weird," Rainey replied.

I laughed. "Guess you'll be looking for the strong, silent type once you're back for good."

Her shocked expression was priceless. "You think I'd rather have some small-town hick? No thanks. For the time being, I am perfectly happy being single," she said. Her eyes met someone else's across the bar, and I turned around to see who. She put a hand on my arm to stop me. "You don't want to do that, Mal. It's Luke."

I groaned.

"I thought he was staying away from you?" Gabby asked.

"It's not like I posted a sign that I would be here. He probably just came to see the band," I said, unconvinced.

News traveled fast and Luke could have easily found out that the girls and I were at The Landing. I was already on my fifth drink and I was pretty sure I wasn't even sitting on my stool straight. It was hard to tell.

"Just ignore him. We're having a good time and hopefully he'll leave us alone," I assured them.

"Oh, shit!" Gabby exclaimed, her eyes glued to the place I figured Luke was standing somewhere behind me. "He's got Carrie Williams with him."

"Who's Carrie Williams?" I asked as I tried to push down the pang of jealousy that ripped through my chest.

"His girlfriend," Gabby informed me.

_Girlfriend?_ The guy who almost kissed me _just that_ _afternoon_ had a girlfriend? Oh, I couldn't wait to rub it in his face. What a two-timing asshole. I knew exactly how to get under his skin, too.

"Did I mention Luke almost kissed me today?" I asked Gabby and Rainey with a smirk.

_Time to kick up some of my own gossip_ , I thought. The drinks made me bold. And reckless.

"What?" they both exclaimed.

"Yeah, it was at the hospital. He pulled me into an empty room and came _this,_ " I spread my thumb and forefinger apart less than half an inch, "close to kissing me. It was crazy."

"What an ass," Rainey said.

"Someone should tell Carrie who she's getting involved with," Gabby muttered with a slight slur. Her buzz was affecting her judgment.

"We should tell her!" Rainey blurted.

"Carrie!" Gabby waved her arms at Carrie across the bar and gestured for her to come to our table.

I didn't turn around, afraid that if I saw Luke's expression, I might burst out laughing, so I sipped more of my drink and stayed quiet.

"Hey, girls," Carrie said as she walked up to our table. "I just love this band. Oh, hi," she said to me. "I don't think we've met." She stuck her hand out to shake and I could barely contain my drunken humor.

I shook her hand but didn't get a chance to tell her my name.

"Carrie, why don't you sit with us for a while? I'm sure Luke wants to chat with Baker at the door," Rainey said.

Carrie pulled up another barstool and sent Luke packing. I still hadn't turned around to face him, but I was betting he was pissed.

Rainey introduced us. "I'm Rainey, and this is Mallory. I remember you from high school. I think you were a few years ahead of us."

I didn't remember the woman at all. Of course, I'd been too wrapped up in Luke to notice anyone else in high school. Not to mention Carrie was kind of ordinary. She had the girl next door thing going for her, but that was it.

"Right, I remember you now. What have you girls been up to?" she asked politely.

I couldn't help but notice how old she was. Granted, she couldn't be more than three or four years older than our group, but she looked at least ten years older. Time had not been good to her.

"We were just talking about Luke," Gabby said with a giggle.

"He's pretty great, isn't he? We've only been dating a few weeks, but I think he might be the one," Carrie said.

I'd just taken a sip of my drink when she said it; rum, orange and pineapple juices exploded out of my mouth and across the table.

"Oh! I'm so sorry." I was horrified, but Gabby and Rainey burst into laughter.

"No harm done, Mallory. _Mallory._ Are you _the_ Mallory? As in, Luke's ex-girlfriend?" She glared at me.

"Guilty," I muttered.

"Actually, Mallory had a run-in with Luke earlier today. Why don't you tell her about it, Mal?" Rainey smirked.

"He always brings your father dinner. He's such a sweetheart," Carrie said.

It was obvious she had no idea what a low-life Luke was.

"Well, he kind of pulled me into an empty room and almost kissed me, actually," I said. The words were out of my mouth before I could take them back and the fuzziness in my head was playing tricks on my brain.

"What? When?"

"It was after dinner, when he offered to give me a ride home," I told her. The cat was out of the bag now. No going back.

Tears welled in her eyes. "He offered you a ride home, too?"

The satisfaction I felt for an instant dissipated and guilt abound. As if I needed more guilt.

"My dad cornered him into it, Carrie," I started to explain.

"Did Joe corner him into kissing you, too?"

Her eyes flashed but I could tell she wasn't mad at me. Her anger was directed at Luke, as it should be. He was the ass.

"Of course not," I said in defense of Dad. "But he didn't _actually_ kiss me." I tried to backtrack, but she waved me off.

"Excuse me," she said and left the table.

Gabby and Rainey watched Carrie stalk across the bar.

"She's pulling him outside," Rainey informed me.

I refused to turn and look. I no longer wanted anything to do with any of it.

"I think he's about to catch hell," Gabby added.

They both sipped their drinks as if we hadn't just ruined a relationship. The conversation migrated to other topics eventually and my guilt eased with my growing inebriation. Luke didn't deserve to stay in a relationship if he was going to cheat, or _almost cheat_ on Carrie. Especially with me. I was his past. No woman would want to be a part of his and my crazy mixed-up history.

By midnight, neither Luke nor Carrie had reentered the bar and we were all full-blown drunk. I figured I was going to have to call a cab. In Boston, that was easier, of course. When Baker stepped forward to offer the three of us a ride, I was grateful.

"You ladies shouldn't be driving," he said authoritatively.

"I didn't drive. My apartment is only one street over," Gabby told him, grabbing her purse. "I'll walk."

Baker didn't look impressed, but he allowed it. "Guess it's just you two and me," he said with a grin. "A threesome."

I laughed. "Baker, eww! You're such a perv."

"I can call my mom," Rainey said.

"It's not a problem, Rainey. After what happened when you arrived, I figure I owed it to you," he replied.

I was suddenly in the dark. Rainey hadn't mentioned a run-in with Baker. I glared at her and she mouthed _later._ The two of us followed Baker out of the bar.

We got halfway across the parking lot when I saw him. Luke was standing alone on the sidewalk, hands tucked into his pockets and appearing tortured. We had to pass by him to get to Baker's car.

_"Mallory._ I'll give you a ride home," he said through clenched teeth.

"That's not necessary, Luke. Baker's giving me a ride."

I didn't want to be anywhere near him at the moment. His temper was unmatched except maybe by my own.

"I insist," he said, wrapping his fingers around my arm.

I glanced at Baker, but he was smiling like a lunatic. _Useless oaf._

Rainey wasn't any happier about riding home alone with Baker than I was about riding home with Luke. Of course, we were both more than just a little drunk, which made everything just a little funny. I giggled.

"Something amusing?" Luke asked as he steered me toward his truck. His tone suggested I refrain from answering.

I didn't take the hint. "Not really. I just realized I haven't been this drunk in a long time," I replied honestly.

He raised a brow at me but didn't say a word. I found his silence hilarious. He opened the passenger door of his truck and pushed me inside. "Get in, you loon," he muttered.

His irritation only spurred my hilarity. "I might be a loon, but I'm a damn fine one," I said after I was seated on the bench seat. I rubbed my hands down my legs.

Luke had been about to slam the door but froze. His eyes followed the movement of my hands and he took in a slow, trembling breath. "You are that," he murmured and slammed the door.

Chapter Six

Luke

The fact that she'd shown up at the bar I frequented on a regular basis was nothing short of bad karma. I figured I deserved it for what I'd revealed to her today. But she and her drunk friends insisting on chatting with my girlfriend? That was more than just bad luck. I should have been smart enough to see what was coming and high-tailed it out of there.

I'd made a mistake today, several, in fact, and I should have stayed home. I'd left Mallory's house feeling lower than low and I needed a drink. I remembered Carrie had wanted to hang out, so I called her and made plans to meet her at the bar after her shift.

When I saw Mallory, Rainey, and Gabby sitting at a table in the back of the bar, I wanted to tuck tail and run. I hadn't believed Mallory would end up saying something to Carrie, but she surprised me. After spending no more than twenty minutes at that table of death, Carrie had marched over to where I was talking to Baker and demanded I take her home.

After a long discussion about our relationship and all the crap guys did _not_ like to discuss, Carrie said we should break up. It wasn't unprecedented, but rejection was rejection. Of course, she felt like I was the one who rejected her, having almost kissed my ex. If it wasn't so depressing, the whole thing would be beyond comical.

After I dropped Carrie off at her apartment, I made my way back to the bar, determined to talk to Mallory. I needed to know why she had to retaliate that way. I actually _liked_ Carrie, and even though we probably wouldn't have been together forever, it wasn't easy to end the relationship.

I parked near Baker's truck and waited for her to come out. Once she was tucked into my truck, my heart stuttered when she said she was fine. She wasn't lying, of course, but I didn't want to think about hot she was. I didn't want to think about her at all. She wasn't mine anymore. I needed to get over her. Easier said than done.

"You are that," I said and closed the door.

I knew I slammed it, but my brain was on fire. How was I supposed to stay the hell away from her like she asked when she was so damn gorgeous? I yanked open the driver's side door and hopped in. I turned the key and whipped the truck out of the parking lot.

"Easy, killer, not all of us are used to crazy back road drivers," she purred.

She'd moved more toward the center of the truck and I gulped. I kept both hands on the wheel and did my best to ignore her. Despite my intentions to shout at her, she was too far gone for it to even be worth the trouble. I would have to let her know how angry I was tomorrow.

"Buckle up," I instructed.

To my dismay, she belted herself into the center, the strap tight across her hips.

"Why does Daddy have to die, Luke?" she asked.

_Crap._ A drunk and emotional Mallory was not a good mix. And definitely not someone I wanted to deal with.

"Did you have fun with your friends tonight?" I ignored her question and hoped to distract her.

"Yeah, it was fun," she said. "I'm sorry about Carrie, Luke. Did she dump you?"

"Yeah, it was fun," I said, mimicking her words.

She laughed, the sound sharp and vibrant in the silent cab.

"I really am sorry," she whispered and looked down at her hands.

I accepted her apology. It might be the only one I ever got. "I know, Mal. It's fine. She wasn't the one for me."

"So who is the one for you, Luke?"

_You are_ , I thought _._

"I have no idea. Someday, I'll figure it out," I said, definitely not wanting to have this conversation.

"Did I used to be the one?"

She stared up at me and had to force myself to look back at the road and away from her pretty face and big blue eyes.

"I thought so, but things just weren't meant to be." I hoped she wouldn't remember much of the conversation in the morning.

"I guess not," she said glumly.

She rested her head on my shoulder and it felt like we were back at the prom.

It didn't matter that we'd broken up at her senior prom, on a boat, no less—we had to endure each other's company for the remainder of the night. She asked me to pretend things were okay, and we could tell everyone tomorrow. I agreed, but only because I didn't have much choice. Unless I was prepared to jump off the balcony and swim to shore, I was staying at the prom until it was over.

We did a fair job pretending for the night; not a single person suspected a thing. I was proud of our efforts, but I still had to drive her home.

"I'm exhausted," she yawned when we were back in my truck. "Do you mind?" She gestured to my shoulder and I shook my head. This would be the last time I was this close to her. She laid her head on my shoulder and sighed.

"Why does it have to be so hard, Luke?" she whispered.

I didn't have an answer. We were too different to make it work. I wanted to stay in Casper and grow old here; she wanted a fancy Boston life. We were doomed before we ever even began.

The similarities between that night and our current situation weren't lost on me. It felt as if history was repeating itself and I wasn't sure I could handle that. A broken heart from Mallory Wells was more than enough the first time around. I didn't need to feel the hurt all over again.

I heard a soft snore from beside me and let out a sigh of relief. If she was sleeping, she couldn't pester me with questions about our past and us. I turned the radio up a bit to fill the silence and regretted it immediately. Our song was playing. My heart constricted, the world stopped spinning for a moment and my heartbeat raced on.

I realized in that moment, I would never be able to escape the past we shared. Even though my apartment had been completely redecorated and there wasn't anything in it to remind me of her, moments like this would happen for the rest of my life. I would hear our song, or even any song that reminded me of her, and I would feel the pain all over again. If I hadn't been able to move on after three years of separation, I probably wasn't going to anytime soon with her back in town. How on earth did people ever survive breakups?

Maybe it was just me. Maybe I was the one with a problem—I couldn't let go of Mallory. She seemed to have been able to live a happy life in Boston, away from her friends, her family, and from me. I'd never received so much as a phone call from her since her prom. I'd written her several letters over the course of that first year. The first had taken me two full weeks to write and at least a month to gather the courage to send. They weren't returned, so I knew she'd received them. She never replied, never called; I hadn't heard a word from her. Her stand on how she felt about me was clear. There was no way to know whether or not she'd read them, though. I knew she'd rejected me already, but I was, for some unknown reason, a glutton for punishment.

I pulled into the driveway of her house and gently shook her awake. She sat up, looking more than just a bit disoriented.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"You're home," I said.

"Oh, good. Are you going to carry me? I feel sick," she muttered, her head falling back to my shoulder.

I laughed but recognized that she would definitely need help into the house. I wanted to drop her at the door and take off, but I knew I couldn't. There was no way she would make it to her room. I got out of the truck and pulled her out through the driver's door. Her body was almost completely limp, which meant I would, indeed, be carrying her. I hauled her into my arms, her legs draped over one arm while my other supported her back. Her head lolled to the side until it rested against my chest. I managed to grab her purse with my fingers and walked to the house.

Thankfully, the door was unlocked, just the way Joe always left it. There wasn't a high crime rate in Casper, especially when everyone knew everyone else's business. I made my way down the short hallway to her room and laid her gently on the bed. Her duffel was on the floor, so I picked it up and put it and her purse on the desk. It amazed me how little this room had changed in the last three years. Even though I saw Joe on a regular occasion, I always made sure to avoid Mallory's room. The memories haunted me.

"You coming to bed?" she asked.

I turned to her, shocked. She lay on her side, her arm outstretched toward me. She crooked her finger at me, and a smile spread across her lips.

"Come on, Jason, let's go to bed," she whispered.

_Jason?_ It made sense that she would have moved on, but hearing another man's name on her lips only crushed me further. It was bad enough I wanted her again, but she was _seeing someone_? Pain cursed through my body and I fled the room, praying she wouldn't remember this moment in the morning.

I made it to the tailgate before I threw up behind my truck. Everything I ate came back full force. It wasn't my finest moment. Lucky for me, there was no one to share in my misery.

Headlights appeared at the end of the driveway and I wished I could make myself invisible. I recognized Baker's truck before he reached me. I even managed to quit vomiting and wipe my mouth on my sleeve. No reason my best friend needed to see me like this.

"You okay?" he asked when pulled up. He turned the lights off and hung out his window.

"Just peachy," I muttered.

Baker had a tendency to see through me, and I didn't exactly want him digging into what happened tonight.

_"Mallory fucking Wells._ Did you think she would ever come back?" he asked.

I tried to disengage the conversation before it got out of hand. "I don't know what I thought, man. I'm not feeling so hot, though. I'm going to head home."

"Oh, cool. I'll follow you over. I need a beer."

Baker had a habit of inviting himself over. I wasn't impressed, but I couldn't exactly tell him the reason he _couldn't_ come over was that I wanted to wallow in self-pity, so I nodded and jumped in my truck. Baker followed me to my place. After I grabbed us a couple of beers, I sat in my old man recliner and Baker sprawled out on my couch. I turned the TV on ESPN and waited for the inquiry. To my surprise, he wasn't interested in talking about Mallory.

"Man, did you see how smokin' hot Rainey was tonight? LA has been good for that girl," he said. "I made a total ass of myself, though."

I chuckled. "You? No way! What happened?"

"Well, when she showed up and handed me her ID, I didn't even recognize her, first of all. Then when I recognized her name, I sort of went on and on about how fat she used to be and how amazing she looks now." He grimaced.

"So, you made a judgment based on a pretty face, or in her case, hot body, and she didn't respond in kind? I can't imagine why not." I barely managed to say it with a straight face. My sarcasm wasn't appreciated.

"Shut up, Luke. I liked her when she was in high school, even with the extra pounds. She was the one who gave me the cold shoulder after prom night, remember?"

I did remember. In her efforts to join forces against me with Mallory after prom, she'd dismissed Baker in every way. I imagined it was difficult for her, since she and Baker actually had a perfect prom night together.

I groaned. "How could I forget? You went on about it all summer."

"I did not," he argued.

"Seriously, do you even remember that summer? ' _Luke, she was something special. She gave her virginity to me and then dumped me! What kind of girl does that_?' You were one lovesick pup, dude. Maybe even more so than me," I said.

Baker smirked. "No one has even been more lovesick over a girl in the history of the earth than you were over Mallory. I never got why you were so into her. She's kind of average looking."

He knew the more he riled my temper, the less likely I was to think about how unfortunate it was that he got laid on prom night and I didn't.

"Screw you. You were just mad you had to settle for her fat friend. And then she went and got skinny, just to show you up," I retorted. I'd never really thought of Rainey as fat; she'd been a little chunky in high school, but I wanted to aggravate Baker more than insult Rainey.

"You're an ass," he said as he took the last swig of his beer and stood. "I'm going to get home, man. Come by the bar tomorrow."

Since he'd bought the bar, he took pride in working a million hours a week.

"Sure thing. Drive slowly," I said with a laugh.

His apartment was two houses down. I knew he wouldn't drive; he would walk home and grab his truck in the morning.

That was the thing about growing up—you eventually turned into a responsible adult. I wondered when Mallory and I would start acting like adults.

Chapter Seven

Mallory

I woke up the next morning to an excessive clanging noise coming from the kitchen. The rattling pots made my head pound even more than it already did. I remembered why I always took ibuprofen _before_ I went out when I lived in Boston. But I hadn't planned on getting so toasted last night. It was all Luke's fault.

Images of the night before flashed in my head and I groaned. I didn't want to remember ruining his relationship with Carrie. He would hold it over my head forever. I had a vague memory of him in the parking lot, but I didn't remember much else. I couldn't even remember how I got home. Ugh, I was a mess.

A knock on my bedroom door had me yanking up the covers.

"You don't have anything I've never seen before, girl. Get up. We have to pick up your dad in an hour," Rainey said matter-of-factly, and then she disappeared down the hall.

"What are you even doing here?" I yelled, slamming my pillow onto my face. "And how are you not hung over?!"

Her face reappeared in the doorway and I lifted my head to look at her smiling face.

"Luke called me. He said he was given specific instructions to leave you alone, but he wanted to make sure you were on time to pick up your dad. It was super sweet of him. And I'm not nursing a hangover because I didn't exactly drink last night," she said conspiratorially. She disappeared again and I sat up slowly.

My head ached, but it wasn't the worst hangover I'd ever had. I could manage. I got out of bed and walked to the kitchen, still clad in my clothes from last night.

Rainey turned to look at me when I entered the kitchen. "It's too bad you slept here, because wearing those clothes again this morning would make for one hell of a walk of shame."

"Shut up. Where's the coffee?" I mumbled.

"No coffee, it's bad for a hangover. Here."

She thrust a bottle of water and two ibuprofen in my hands. I wasn't impressed, but I sat on the barstool at the counter and downed the water and pills.

"How did you end up _not_ drunk last night? I saw you have several drinks," I said.

"Well, Jimmy and I kind of have a deal. I never drink alcohol, but he makes the drink colorful and pretty so I can act like I've been drinking. We established the deal when I was home for Christmas and Gabby demanded we go drinking. I'm not much of a drinker," she confessed.

"Oh. Good for you, I guess. It wasn't my intention to have so many, but Gabby kept ordering them and I felt obligated."

"What are you, sixteen? I'd think you would be above peer pressure at twenty-one years old, Mal," she lectured.

"I know, I know," I mumbled again and looked down at my water. "Can I at least have some orange juice?"

"Sure," she said.

Rainey grabbed a glass and poured me some, setting the glass and a plate of toast and fruit in front of me.

I felt nauseous just looking at the plate. "I don't think I can eat."

"Eat it. You'll feel better," she promised.

I managed to choke down half a piece of toast and a few grapes. When I pushed the plate away, she sighed.

"You don't eat enough," she complained.

I laughed. "I eat plenty, _Mom._ I'm trying not to throw up after a night of binge drinking."

Rainey smiled and cleared my plate for me. "Take a shower and we'll get going. We've got to pick up your dad and I want to stop at the store on the way."

I did as she instructed. Thirty minutes later, I was ready to go. Rainey insisted we take her mother's minivan, since it would be easier for Dad to get into. I reluctantly agreed, as a trip to town in a minivan wasn't exactly riding in style.

"Since when do you care about what other people think?" she asked once we were on our way to the hospital.

"I don't," I replied a little too defensively.

She laughed. "Well, you didn't really care about what Luke thought of you last night."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you remember talking to Carrie last night?"

"Luke's girlfriend, right? I'm pretty sure I ruined their relationship." I sighed. "Why would we do that? I am an awful person." I felt lower than dirt for doing it and even worse for not remembering all the details. "I'll have to apologize to Luke."

"You did. He drove you home last night," Rainey said.

"How do you know that? Does the whole town know?" My voice spiked to the point I was nearly shrieking. I couldn't believe how badly this day was turning out to be.

"No, the whole town doesn't know. Luke told me when he called me this morning. He said he tucked you in and nothing happened. When I apologized to him about the whole Carrie situation, he told me you had apologized too, and he forgave us. I guess he wasn't really into the relationship, so no harm done," she said.

So not only had I gotten drunk enough not to remember exactly what occurred, Luke was being extra sweet about the whole thing. _Just great_ , I thought _._

"Well, I will apologize to him again, when I'm sober and can actually remember doing so," I muttered.

I was appalled by my own behavior. No matter how much I was dealing with, I did _not_ want to be the girl who took out all her frustrations when she was drunk. And on innocent people, no less. Ugh. I needed to call Luke as soon as possible.

"So, did anything else happen last night I should be aware of?" I asked in hopes I wouldn't regret the answer.

"Well, Baker and I talked a bit, since Luke dragged you off and he gave me a ride home." She smirked. "He's the most infuriating man. At the bar, when he realized who I was, he kept stammering on about how fat I used to be."

I protested. "You weren't fat. You were chunky. Millions of people are when they're that age."

"I don't need the confidence boost, Mal. It was just comical to watch him stand there and make a fool of himself. Then, when I'd had enough, I dismissed him. So he insisted he give me a ride home and I had to agree, since you and Gabby thought I'd been drinking. He went on again about my weight and then talked up the way I look now." She mimicked Baker's low voice. " _You're so hot_."

I laughed.

"It was ridiculous. I told him I was only in town for a week and that it didn't matter how 'hot' I'd become, we were not going to get involved. He tried to convince me to be friends with benefits." She laughed aloud as she pulled into the hospital parking lot.

"Wow, that's direct," I replied. "What did you say?"

"I told him we weren't friends, so being friends with benefits was out of the question." She explained. She parked in the visitor spot closest to the main entrance and we both got out of the minivan. "He still thinks, after all these years, that girls will just fall at his feet. It's infuriating," she growled.

"Well, like you said, you're here for a week and then you'll be gone. He'll forget about you again," I said, hoping it was true for her sake.

We took the elevator to the second floor and I was surprised to see Luke in my father's room when we entered. He looked up; his chocolate brown eyes met mine, and I all but melted into a puddle on the floor.

"Can I talk to you?" he asked politely.

I knew better than to think it was going to be a pleasant conversation. But I agreed. Rainey remained in the room, chatting up my dad while Luke and I stepped out into the hallway.

"I'm sorry," I said immediately.

His look of shock surprised me.

"For what?" he asked.

_Was he serious?_ I thought.

"For what happened last night. I'm still a little foggy, but Rainey filled me in."

"You were drinking, Mal. Shit happens. Don't sweat it."

His easy acceptance made me feel worse, not better.

"That's not what I wanted to talk to you about," he said.

"Well, thank you for understanding. So, what's up?"

"I think maybe you should go back to Boston."

He couldn't have surprised me more if he'd told me to move to the moon.

"Before you get all upset, hear me out. Your dad is going to need intensive, non-stop care when he goes home. And he's going home to die, Mal. It's not like you can just leave him and go to the bar whenever you want," he murmured.

_So is that what this is all about?_ I asked myself.

"For your information, I've made arrangements to have a hospice nurse come to the house to take care of whatever I can't do, and I was all but forced to go out last night. I don't need you to tell me what to do with my life. I'm staying with my dad until the end." I was proud my voice didn't falter.

"You're such a spoiled rotten brat, Mallory. If you cared, even once, for someone besides yourself, you would let Joe die in peace," he barked.

I was floored. _Did he really think so little of me_? I wondered.

"Why don't you run back to Boston and your little boyfriend, who you obviously miss so much?"

I demanded an answer. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Jason."

_Oh_ , I thought. My silence was Luke's undoing.

"The sooner you leave, the better the whole town will be."

_Wait a second, how does Luke know about Jason_? I wondered. Before I had a chance to question him about it, he ducked into Dad's room to say goodbye, then came back out and rushed down the hall. I stood there, dumbfounded for a full minute before I went back into Dad's room. I would ponder about how Luke had any idea who Jason was later. For now, I needed to get Dad home.

"Ready to go, Dad?" I asked with forced perkiness.

He was sitting up in bed with his legs swung over the side, his feet resting comfortably on the floor. He looked tired.

"I am more than ready." He smiled, despite his fatigue.

He looked so ragged and fragile. Luke's words about Dad's need for full-time care assaulted me. ' _Your dad is going to need intensive, non-stop care.'_ I didn't want to think about his words no matter how true they might be, but they were implanted in my head and I couldn't shake them. Dad was going to need a lot of attention. _Am I really ready to give him the kind of care he needs_?

"So how was the bar last night, Mal?" Dad asked.

His lopsided grin had me smiling in response. "Word gets around fast, huh?" I laughed.

"Luke filled me in," he admitted.

_Luke told my dad about last night?_ I wondered how much information he divulged.

"He likes to run his mouth," I muttered.

"Don't judge him too harshly. He also told me you were seeing someone named Jason?"

_So Luke told my dad about Jay_. I did _not_ want to have this conversation.

"It's no big thing, Dad. He's just a guy I dated a while back," I explained.

"Well, is it serious?"

I sighed. "No, Dad. It's over. We broke up."

Jason wasn't a bad guy. He was probably a perfect guy for someone, there just hadn't been any spark for us outside of the bedroom. He was a great lover, though. He wasn't dumb but holding any kind of sophisticated conversation seemed to drain him. He had a smokin' bod, though. We stayed together for several weeks until we both realized it wasn't going to work. We kept up our booty calls for a few more weeks, but eventually I got tired of mindless sex and no emotions.

I broke it off and we even managed to remain friends. I hooked him up with one of my roommates and the two were very happy together. I still had sex dreams about him occasionally though, which made for an awkward encounter at breakfast when he slept over with my roomie.

"Humph," Dad grunted. "I'd like to have grandkids, you know."

I coughed to cover my repulsion. At twenty-one, I wasn't ready for kids. Hell, I wasn't even ready for a long-term, committed relationship. I wanted to live a little. There was also the fact that Dad would probably be gone before the end of the summer, which meant even if I got preggo right now, he wouldn't be able to meet his grandchildren. Maybe he was in denial about going home to die.

Rainey scolded him. "Joe! Don't mess with her like that."

When he laughed, I realized he'd been kidding, but the thought still scared the crap out of me. I wasn't sure I wanted children ever, let alone right now. Good thing it was a joke. I made a sound I hoped sounded like a laugh but didn't say anything else.

The doctor came in then and gave Dad his discharge paperwork. He was free to go, but I had to call and check in every other day to track his progress. Or rather, his digress. He was only going to get worse. The doctor didn't say it, but we all knew he was going home to die and the next time he came into the hospital would be in a heavy black bag. It was a depressing thought.

But I figured I had some time. I wanted to get close to him again, make up for time lost. If he made it until the end of the summer, I would have plenty of time to say my goodbye. And make it count.

Chapter Eight

Luke

I couldn't keep my damn mouth shut. I _had_ to bring up Jason. Whoever he was, he wasn't some platonic friend. He was her lover. And here I'd been, thinking we could get back together while she was planning her next escapade with her Boston beau. I felt like an idiot.

It had been bad timing on my part to run into her at the hospital. I'd known I should have gotten out of there before she showed up with Rainey. But then she walked in and my brain stopped functioning. I wanted to rub it in her face that I knew about Jason. I might not have known much, but I did know something. So I made sure to bring it up.

It probably would be better if she left town, but not for anyone but myself. As long as she was here, I wouldn't be able to stay away, no matter what she demanded or how much I thought I should. I was a fiend for her; her very presence brought me happiness and feelings of contentment. Bah, I was such a girl. Baker would never let me live it down if I admitted my addiction to Mallory aloud.

I ripped past the nurse's station and heard Carrie call out to me.

"Luke!"

She chased me halfway down the hall before I stopped. I wanted to be free of this place and all the emotions Mallory stirred up in me.

"What is it, Carrie?" I asked impatiently. I didn't mean to be rude, but I was going to explode, and I wanted to be away from anyone who might get in the way.

"I just wanted to let you know I have no hard feelings," she said.

Her eyes told a different story, though, one of sadness and rejection.

"Don't lie, Carrie. At least be honest with yourself," I spat.

My inner asshole was coming out and I needed to get out of there. Fast.

"You don't need to be a jerk," she replied.

I stepped forward and she retreated until her back pressed against the wall of the hallway.

"I _am_ a jerk, Carrie," I whispered.

She looked up at me with her pretty brown eyes and I willed myself to feel something, _anything,_ for her. She wasn't a bad person; she didn't deserve to be treated the way I treated her. She deserved someone who wasn't hung up on someone else.

"You aren't, Luke. I know you've still got feelings for her," she whispered.

Her eyes were nearing tears and I felt the guilt seep into my bones. I would never be able to atone for doing this to her.

"You don't know shit," I growled.

It was bad enough I had admitted to myself I was still half in love with Mallory, but for Carrie to be able to see it bugged me to no end. I spun around and bolted out of the hospital.

I jumped into my truck, slammed the door closed, and peeled out of the parking lot as fast as I could. I didn't care about drawing attention to myself in this gossip-loving town. I just needed to escape.

With no place in mind, I made my way north and continued on for hours. My cell rang several times, but I ignored it. I needed to be alone. Once I was out of Casper, I headed up the coast toward the Rockville Lighthouse. The rocky shoreline would help me clear my head.

I maneuvered my way down the steep dirt road and stopped in the tiny parking lot. I walked to the water's edge and picked up a few flat rocks to skim across the surface.

It felt like things were about to change. Joe was going to die. Mallory would go back to Boston. And I would be alone. _Again._ Only this time, I wouldn't have Joe to guide me and steer me away from disaster. How could I have let this happen again? As if falling in love with Mallory Wells wasn't bad enough the first time around, I had to go and do it twice, and hurt the people around me in the process.

Carrie was the one I felt worst about. She hadn't done anything wrong, but I had just treated her like nothing. She knew my past, of course, how hung up on Mallory I'd been. It had taken months to get her to go out with me, and I was only so persistent because Joe insisted I needed to move on. I didn't disagree with him, but Carrie was probably a poor choice. I compared every aspect of our short relationship to the one I had with Mallory. Carrie didn't measure up.

Carrie and I were doomed before we ever even got started because of my Mallory obsession. I just couldn't get over the leggy blonde with a flippant attitude and a smart remark for everything. Mallory and I were no good for each other, though. I knew that. She knew it too. But there was something that pulled me to her, something inexplicably frightening.

I skipped several rocks over the water and watched them sink, much like my heart. I had to toughen up if I was going to survive the summer. Mallory wasn't going to leave until her dad was gone, which meant I would be forced to see her, at least in passing, at places like the grocery store or the post office. I would have to be stronger than I'd been lately. It wasn't impossible. Highly unlikely? Oh yeah. But _not_ impossible.

I tossed out the last rock in my hand and before it could sink, I turned away from the ocean with a new resolve. I would ignore Mallory as best I could for the remainder of her time here. I would be polite when the situation called for it, but I wasn't about to engage her in a conversation. I could do it. I knew I could.

I hopped in my truck with a better outlook on Mallory and the situation as a whole. I drove back to Casper and went to my apartment. I wasn't surprised to see Baker's truck in my driveway.

He leaned against the door, his arms folded across his chest. I parked and nodded to him.

"What the hell happened at the hospital?" he asked.

"Good news travels fast, huh?" I remarked. Small towns were gossip hell.

"Well, when you took off out of the parking like a bat out of hell, it's hard for people _not_ to talk. Want to talk about it?" He looked sincere, but I wasn't buying it.

"Who called you?" I knew someone would have put him up to chasing me down.

He smirked. "Carrie. Joe. Rainey. Gabby. Take your pick. My phone has been ringing off the hook. Although I have absolutely no idea how Gabby got involved, since she wasn't there."

Mallory hadn't called him. I sighed. _Stay strong,_ I told myself.

"Well, here I am, fine and unharmed." I tried to keep the anger out of my voice. It didn't work as well as I hoped.

"Yeah, you're as fine as a mad bull. So, what's with the asshole routine? Everyone knows I'm the resident asshole of Casper," he joked.

"It wasn't on purpose. I just got pissed at something Mallory said the other night—"

"Oh! Mallory. Now it all makes sense. What did she say?"

His inquisition pissed me off.

"What's with the twenty questions? I don't want to talk about it, Baker. Leave it alone," I said, hoping he would take the hint.

"Not a chance. Spill it," he said as I went into my apartment building.

He followed me in and took a seat on my couch. He wasn't going anywhere until his curiosity was satisfied.

I sighed. "When I brought her home last night, she was drunk and half asleep in her bed and she invited me into her bed."

"Hot damn! Why didn't you tell me this last night? Did you get some?" he asked.

_Typical Baker,_ I thought.

"No! I thought she was talking to me, but then she said the name of some other guy, who was definitely _not me._ Probably some douche from Boston," I explained.

"Ahh." Baker finally understood. "So, she's seeing someone in Boston, then?"

"I guess," I mumbled. "I don't really know. It's not like Mal and I have been overly friendly since she got back."

"That's true. Want me to have Rainey do some fishing?"

"I thought you were on Rainey's shit list?"

He grinned. "Well, she must have forgiven me, since she called me to check in on you."

"You know, she's a big-time LA screenwriter, Baker. She's not interested in some small-town hillbilly." I laughed at his hurt look.

"I could say the same to you about Mallory, except she's working at the bank." He raised his brow at me, and I knew he was right.

"We're hopeless, you know that?"

He laughed. "Yeah, the only way we could be any worse was if we were hanging out with Gabby's ex, and he was complaining, too."

"Have you ever met Wolfe?" I asked.

"No, I don't think so. He's not from here, is he?"

"He's from Florida, I think. He spent summers here as a kid, but he's a few years older than us, so that's probably why you don't remember him. He moved here permanently when he started dating Gabby. I met him a few times and didn't think he was a bad guy. I wonder what happened with those two?"

"Gabby is nuts. That's what happened to them," he said.

"Don't be an ass. Every woman is crazy and that's a fact."

"Ain't that the truth? We should call him up and have him join our 'Love struck without a chance' support group."

"We should. I heard he's still living here until after the divorce is final to make it easier on Gabby," I said.

We both laughed, at him and ourselves. We'd all fallen in love with a woman who wanted nothing to do with each of us.

"Call him up and have him meet us at the bar tonight. Rainey is helping Mallory out with her dad, so we know they won't be at The Landing tonight. I'll ask Gabby to go over and give them a hand," he said.

"That's a great idea. And tomorrow, when Joe kills us for sticking him with three angry women, we'll at least have had a good night of drinking to think on and decide it was worth it! I'll call Wolfe a bit later. I have to get to the site and do some work today. You working at the site with me?"

"Yeah, I guess. I don't have anything else to do until the bar opens at four." Baker sighed.

He loved the bar, but it had drained him financially, so he helped out at whatever jobsite I was on whenever he could, and J.P. paid him under the table. That's the way it was done in a small town.

"Want to drive me in?" I asked. "I just need to change."

He nodded and waited for me. On the way to the jobsite, I called Wolfe and he agree to come to The Landing, but only if we could guarantee Gabby wouldn't be there. Baker called Gabby and she fell for his plan perfectly, so we promised Wolfe she wouldn't be there.

We made plans to meet at The Landing at seven.

Chapter Nine

Mallory

I had a hard time getting my dad settled in. The fact that he wasn't the same amazingly strong man I remembered was killing me. Rainey pulled up as close as she could to the steps of the front porch and even walking from the car to the living room seemed to exhaust him. It didn't seem likely he would suddenly surprise everyone and beat the cancer. I was more worried about him with every step he took.

Luckily, our house was a single story, which meant he didn't have to climb any stairs once he was inside. But he was still tired. He sat on the couch and rested for nearly an hour before he felt well enough to make the trek to his bedroom. Once Rainey and I got him settled in bed, he laid back and almost immediately fell asleep. I stood there, staring at pale skin that had once been tan, at sunken eyes that had once been vibrant and full of life, and my heart broke.

Rainey pulled me out of his room. "He needs rest," she said.

Tears started to fall onto my cheeks, but I couldn't control them. Rainey pulled me into a hug and squeezed me tight. I started to hyperventilate.

"He's so sick... I can't do anything... I don't... Think I can do this..." I stuttered between gasps for air.

Rainey didn't speak right away, choosing instead to just hold me until I calmed. She pulled me down on the couch in the living room and we sat there in a hug for a long time. When my anxiety finally started to relent, Rainey pulled away from me. I was still shivering but I managed not to burst into tears again.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"I don't know if I'm ever going to be okay, Rain. Dad's dying," I said weakly.

My whole body felt weighed down, as if it would be difficult to even stand up straight.

"Yes, he is. But he needs you to be strong, Mal. He's not going to get through this alone."

She was quietly telling me to stop being a baby and it dawned on me that my friends in Boston would never have encouraged me to buck up. They would probably be crying beside me, and I would end up comforting them.

I looked up at Rainey. "Have I ever told you how much I value your friendship? I know we haven't kept up very well all these years, but the fact that you're here when I'm falling apart speaks volumes about you."

I hugged her again as I wondered if I would have been there for her if the situation was reversed. I guessed not. It had taken the imminent death of my own father to get me back into this town and I doubted I would have been swayed by the possible death of a friend's parent. Some friend I was.

"I'm so sorry I haven't been the friend I should have been for the last three years."

She smiled at me. "Shut up. No matter how far away we are, we'll always be best friends. You stuck by me even through my fat days, and I adore you."

I was so unworthy of her friendship. She was a genuine friend and I was a fraud. My heart clenched so hard, it felt like someone put a rubber band around it. More tears formed in my eyes.

"Oh, cut that out. We need to be strong!"

She flexed her arm muscles and I laughed before I could stop myself.

"I wish you didn't have to go back to LA," I said. I would miss her.

"I'll be back soon enough. Probably only a couple of weeks. I need the time off, and as a screenwriter, I get to pick and choose my jobs. Plus, if I need to, I can telecommute," she said.

I was shocked. "You want to come back to this rinky-dink town on a more permanent basis?"

"Well, yeah. You don't remember me saying it last night? You aren't allowed to drink for a while, girl. But yes, I am moving back. It's _home,_ " she said.

_Home._ I hadn't referred to Casper as home in a long time. I'd been so sure I was meant for bigger and better things, I never once considered maintaining a life here. It was a small town, but I wasn't sure it was for me. What if I wasn't happy here? Once Dad was gone, I wouldn't have any ties to Casper. _Except Luke._ The thought came out of nowhere.

But did I really have a tie to Luke anymore? I wasn't sure. He'd been my first love, and probably my only _true love,_ but I wasn't certain if he still had a place in my life. I'd spent my entire high school life dedicated to him and our love. Since then, I'd done everything in my power to forget him. He was still in my heart, though, as much as I wished he wasn't.

He'd taken care of Dad when I hadn't even known about his illness. He'd rescued me in my drunken state last night and then pushed me away this morning. I wasn't thrilled with the way he brushed me off, but that didn't mean I hated him. He was important to me. Ugh. I didn't want to think about Luke. I needed to focus on Dad.

"I guess," I said as I dried my tears.

Rainey was doing the same and we both looked ridiculous. I don't know who started laughing first, but within seconds, we were both in stitches. Gabby walked in and found us like that, still laughing at ourselves.

"What's so funny?" she asked, hands on her hips like a mother hen.

Her presence only fueled our insanity and Rainey and I laughed harder. Gabby was patient and eventually we quieted down.

"What are you doing here, Gabby?" Rainey asked.

"Baker asked me to keep an eye on you two tonight. So it's a slumber party!" she announced. She seemed way more enthused about a slumber party than any other twenty-one-year-old I knew. Then I remembered Gabby had been on her own the last few years since I never visited, and Rainey only came back to town when her mother nagged her.

"Sweet. Do we get to stay up late and eat candy and wear pajamas and play truth or dare?" Rainey was already on board.

"It'll have to be after my dad goes to sleep for the night. You guys want to hit up the grocery store for goodies?" I asked. I wanted to have a little time with my dad, whenever he woke up.

"Sure! You going to be okay here?" Gabby asked.

"Oh yeah. I can handle Dad," I said.

The truth was, I wasn't so sure, but I needed to be able to do it by myself. Even with a home nurse coming for a visit every day, I would still be doing quite a bit for him.

"Okay, let's go!" Rainey exclaimed.

The two of them were out of the house before I could blink. My tears and fears were forgotten, and I figured it was better that way. I didn't always want to have to lean on someone. I had to do it alone.

"Are they gone?" Dad yelled from his bedroom after the front door closed.

I smiled and headed back to his room. "Yes, Dad, they're gone. But I have bad news: they're coming back," I said.

He groaned. "I guess I will have to deal with it, just like when you were a kid." He smiled at me as I sat down on the edge of his bed. "You were always so independent, Mallory, I forget sometimes that you need friends. I wish we had more time together." His eyes became wistful.

"Don't talk like that, Dad. You aren't dead yet. You could still beat this cancer," I said. I knew I shouldn't give him false hope, but I was the one who needed to hear it. I didn't want to talk about his impending death.

"We have to talk about it, Mallory. Whether it happens today or three months from now, I want you to know you're taken care of. Can you get me the file on my dresser, please?" he asked.

I brought it to him and then helped him sit up so he could talk and look through it. I had to have this conversation with him. I might not be ready, but he was. Which meant I had to keep my mouth shut. Dad organized a few of the papers while I pulled a chair closer to his bed and propped my feet up on the edge of the bed.

"First things first. I have a life insurance plan, and it will cover all the costs of the funeral. I want to be cremated and I already purchased a stone and a plot at the cemetery. Once I'm ashes, I expect you to spread me out across the state. I want to spend eternity in Maine. I love this place." He paused and it broke my heart. He regained his composure and continued.

"The life insurance is enough for you to do whatever you want. Even after taxes and funeral costs, you should get at least two hundred thousand."

"Dad! That's too much." I groaned. I never worried about money, but that was an insane amount.

"Well, I do have some requirements for what you're to do with it. I want some donated to various charities in town. I have a list, so I won't go over them now. I would also like to leave ten thousand dollars to Luke."

"Luke? Why?"

"He's been like a son to me all these years. I know you two split up, but he kept your old man company while you were away. We became good friends while you were in Boston," he said with a wistful edge to his voice.

_Great, twist the knife deeper, Dad_. I sighed.

"Next item... Oh, yes. I want to leave this house to you. It's paid off, so if you choose to move back here for good, you can live here. If you don't, then I want you to sell it and use the money for a condo or whatever in Boston. I want you to be comfortable. As for the lake house in Greenville, I want to leave it to Luke. He's grown really attached to it after our annual camping trips there," he explained.

Luke had been included on our annual camping trips to the Moosehead region while we dated in high school. I guess they continued the tradition after I was gone. I didn't know how to feel about my dad getting close to and even leaning on Luke.

"That's fine, Dad. I'm sure whatever you've decided is perfect," I said in hopes of rushing him. I was uncomfortable talking about this.

He grinned. "Of course it is. But that doesn't mean we aren't going to go through it all."

I rolled my eyes but paid attention to everything he said. An hour later, he was finally done.

"There's one more thing we need to talk about, Mallory," he said. "This is serious, girl."

I groaned. "Dad, we just spent the last hour discussing the intimate details of your death. I don't see how anything can be more serious than that."

"I want to talk about your _life,_ " he said in a somber voice. "Are you happy in Boston?"

I wanted to give him the easy answer. Just say yes and go on my merry way. But I couldn't lie, not to him.

"I don't know," I answered. "Life is different in Boston. It's fast paced, and no one ever stops to smell the roses. People aren't quite so friendly there, either."

I couldn't imagine someone in Boston caring for the parent of an ex-girlfriend.

"I can understand that. Did you know your mother and I lived in Boston for a year before you were born?"

"What! I didn't know that. But you guys were so young. How on earth did you manage that?"

"She had family in the city and convinced me we should finish our senior year there. I thought the hustle and bustle of Boston was great at first. I mean, hell, you can order a pizza at three in the morning! And when you've been up all night drinking and smoking pot, what's better than that? But eventually, I missed Casper. It wasn't until we came back for a visit that I realized I wanted to raise my family here.

"Your mother was furious. She kept telling me how I was ruining her life and she wouldn't stay. Then we found out she was pregnant. Things changed and she seemed to accept a life here. I bought this house and we spent the next nine months in bliss. After you were born, though, she seemed to forget about how happy we'd been. She took off without a second glance and then it was just me and you." He gave me a sad smile and I realized how hard it must have been for him to lose the woman he'd loved and the mother of his child.

And his child had followed in her footsteps. I left him, too. Tears welled in my eyes.

"I'm so sorry I left you, Daddy," I whispered and leaned forward to put my head on his hand. "I was childish and so wrong."

"Look at me, Mallory," he demanded. He continued even though I didn't lift my head. "You are _not_ your mother. You needed to get away from this town to figure out what you really wanted. I'm betting you still aren't sure. But you will figure it out. I know a lot of the reason you left was your breakup with Luke. I'm sorry I stayed so close to him all these years. He's a good man, Mal. And he loves you."

My head whipped up.

"Excuse me?"

He smiled. "He hasn't said the words, but I know him well enough to know he's got feelings for you. And I know you still have feelings for him even though you won't admit it to yourself or anyone else."

Dad was right, of course, but I wasn't about to tell him that. I had only just discovered my feelings for Luke still lingered and I wasn't ready to share them.

"I am going to tell you the same thing I told your mother before she left. You have to follow your heart, no matter what. Even if it leads you to the place you'd least expect, you must follow. Make peace with your decisions," he said.

I scooted over to his bed and laid my head on his chest. He cradled my head and I felt him press a light kiss to my hair. I was going to miss him so much.

"I want you to know how proud of you I am, Mallory. You are an amazing woman. And if you go back to Boston, I'll be proud of you still. My love for you will never change or falter."

"When did you get so damn smart?" I asked between deep breaths. I'd already cried enough in the last few days and I didn't need to shed any more tears.

Dad laughed and I chuckled with him.

"It comes with age. And impending death," he said.

I leaned back and shook my head at him. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'll always be here for you, whether I'm on this earth or not," he assured me.

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Chapter Ten

Luke

There was only so much a guy could take. After I worked a full day, Baker and I went to the grocery store to pick up a six-pack of beer to have at the apartment before we hit up the bar. Of course, we had to run into Rainey and Gabby.

"Hello, ladies," Baker crooned as we approached them.

It was always a guarantee to see someone we knew in the grocery store, but did it have to be them?

"I thought you girls were helping Mallory?" I asked.

"We are. We decided to have a slumber party!" Gabby shrieked.

She had such a bubbly personality. I couldn't wait to find out from Wolfe why they were getting a divorce.

"Oh, that's... fun," Baker said. He grinned and lifted one brow at Rainey. "Pillow fights and everything, sugar?"

"Oh yeah," Rainey answered in a serious tone, and then her voice dropped low and seductive. "There might even be some girl-on-girl action."

"What?!" Baker screamed.

When Rainey and Gabby both laughed aloud, I joined in.

"You're too easy, Baker. It's going to be a mellow night. You guys going to get drunk in Luke's apartment?" She spotted the six-pack in my hand.

"We're just getting primed for The Landing," Baker said.

I hit his arm. They didn't need to know where we were headed. I didn't want them to show up. Wolfe would be pissed if they did.

"That sounds like fun," Gabby said.

I glanced at the basket she was carrying and noticed there were a variety of chocolates, chips, and sodas inside. "Aren't you girls a little old for a slumber party?"

"Aren't you girls a little old to binge drink like a bunch of teenagers?" Rainey retorted.

I laughed.

"Way too old," Baker commented. "But if you want to join us at the bar, sugar, we'd be happy to have you."

Rainey laughed but I noticed Gabby looked stiff. She rolled her eyes at the attention Baker gave Rainey.

"Well, have fun. We've got popcorn to buy," Gabby said as she led Rainey away.

"Have a good night, girls," I called out. I turned to Baker. "Way to go, man. You weren't supposed to give them our itinerary."

"Whatever, Wolfe doesn't scare me. Besides, there's no way Mallory is leaving her dad, and those two will stay by her side tonight, just like we planned. Come on, let's check out," he said.

I followed him to the checkout.

We were sitting in my apartment twenty minutes later when my phone rang. It was Wolfe.

"Hey, are you guys at your place?" he asked.

"Yeah. Are you out of work early? You should come by. We'll head to the bar later," I said.

"Alright. I'll be over in a few. Do you need me to pick up some beer?"

I looked at the six-pack Baker fiddled with, taking his second beer already. "Yeah, grab a twelve-pack, at least."

"Sure thing. See you in a bit." He hung up.

"That was Wolfe. He's going to come have a beer," I informed Baker.

"I hope the girls have left the store already," he muttered.

I had a feeling Wolfe wasn't that lucky. Instead of warning him, though, I picked up the Xbox controller and challenged Baker to my latest zombie game.

Several minutes later, Wolfe pounded on my front door.

"It's open," I called out.

Baker and I were engrossed in the game and neither of us looked up when he came in.

"Hey, assholes," Wolfe muttered after a few minutes went by.

I paused the game and we both turned to look at him. He was holding a frozen steak from my freezer against his face. I glanced at Baker to gauge his reaction, but he was grinning like an idiot.

"What happened?"

I put down the controller and got up to examine Wolfe's face. His cheek and eye were swollen. I held in my laughter.

"Gabriella Peterman happened," he muttered. "She and Rainey were at the grocery store when I got there. I tried to be _polite_ and Gabby hauled off and decked me!"

I burst out laughing.

"What did you say?" Baker asked while I tried to regain my composure.

"I told Rainey how good she looked and that it was nice to see her." His voice rose like a child's when forced to explain his behavior to a parent.

"What were your exact words?" I asked between fits of laughter.

"I think I said, 'It's good to see you, Rainey. Damn, girl, you're looking good.' What's wrong with that?"

_Man, he's dense_ , I thought.

"You told your ex-wife's best friend that she was looking hot _in front of your ex-wife?_ Are you insane? You're lucky you still have an eye." Baker sneered.

"She's not my ex-wife. Yet. And are you kidding me? She left me. Why the hell does she care who I pay compliments to?" We didn't have an answer for him, so I found him a bag of peas for his eye and then cracked him open a beer.

"Women are damned complicated," he said once we were all back in my living room.

He wasn't wrong.

"Women are nuts," Baker remarked. "We'll never understand them for as long as we live."

"I'll toast to that," I said. We clinked our bottles and each of us took a long swallow. "So, what's up with you and Rainey, anyway?" I asked Baker.

"I don't know. That woman is something else. She seems interested, but then she keeps telling me she's going back to LA soon. I don't know what to think." He sounded deflated. "But I want to know what happened with Wolfe and Gabby."

Wolfe groaned. "Can we please not talk about me and Gabby?"

"No way. Spill it," I insisted.

"We were young when we got married, you guys know that. Hell, she was barely eighteen and we only waited a few weeks to have the wedding. Everything was great at first, but then I missed Florida. So, I told her I wanted to go down and spend a few weeks there for vacation and she flipped out. She said I didn't want to live in Casper anymore and once we got down there, I would try to trap her into staying. It was insane.

"I finally convinced her I didn't want to move down there permanently, but I don't think she ever really believed me. For months, she would mention moving to Florida and I always ignored it, because I didn't want to fuel the fire. It made things between us tense, but we worked through it. Even if we never actually got over it. Last Christmas, I told her I wanted to spend Christmas with my parents in Florida and she dropped the bomb on me. She told me she wanted a divorce. I never saw it coming."

"Damn, dude, that sucks. Did she give you a reason?" Baker asked.

"Not really. She did explain that the court system demanded a one-year separation before they'll grant us a divorce, so we've been separated. I moved out of the house two weeks before Christmas," Wolfe said.

"That's a downer," Baker said. "Women are crazy."

"It's after six. Let's head to the bar," I suggested.

I couldn't believe their marriage had fallen apart in this town and yet I'd never heard a single story about it. They were both good at keeping the details close to home, apparently.

The Landing was full of people when we arrived. We found a table in the back and ordered hot wings and three bottles of beer. The Red Sox were playing on the TV, so conversation was limited. Our server kept our plates full of hot wings and brought us fresh bottles of beer as soon as we were close to being out.

Before we knew it, there was a lot more breathing room and the three of us were buzzed. The conversation picked up again and immediately went to the women in our lives.

"What's with Rainey, anyway?" Baker asked. "She leads me on and then backs away. She's a tease." He grunted then took a swig off his beer.

"Mallory isn't any better," I said. "I almost kissed her and then for both our sakes, I pulled back. Then she went and told my girlfriend. How fucked up is that?"

"At least you guys have the chance to make a move! Gabby is gone and I don't think we'll ever get together again!" Wolfe said.

"What a bunch of Sally's we are," Baker said. "We need to swear off these damn women. They're screwing up our lives and we don't need them."

"Yeah."

Wolfe and I cheered. Our beer bottles clinked.

When the bar manager approached our table, I knew we were in trouble. Baker might be the owner, but the manager on duty had the authority, especially when the owner was drunk.

"Who's driving you home, guys?" he asked us.

None of us had an answer. We were all pretty drunk at that point.

"Well, then, who should I call?"

It was after eleven and The Landing was getting ready to close.

I gave the owner Mallory's home number without a second thought. One of the girls would be willing to drive us home, wouldn't they? It wasn't like all three of them hated all three of us. Rainey would bring us home, I was sure of it.

Chapter Eleven

Mallory

The girls spent the entire afternoon getting things ready for the slumber party. Or, at least, that's what Rainey said when she called around four.

"Hey, we're going to pack a bag for Gabby and then hit up the video store and the grocery store. We won't be over until about six or so. You'll be okay, right?"

"Of course. My dad is an easy patient," I said as I looked in on him.

He was asleep again.

Rainey hung up and I went into the kitchen and tried to busy myself. The one thing I couldn't get accustomed to was the quiet. In Boston, there was noise at all hours of the day, even in the middle of the night. But in Casper, you had to create noise if you couldn't stand the quiet.

The silence weighed heavily on my shoulders. It drove me insane until I flipped on the radio. I grabbed some supplies from underneath the sink and began to clean every surface in the kitchen. Every time I needed to think, _really think,_ I would scrub the kitchen in Boston. Eventually, my roommates learned to leave me alone during those times. Although they pretty much left me alone whenever they could. I liked to brood, and they perceived it as moodiness. I sighed as I pulled on the bright yellow gloves and sprayed the counters with the cleaner.

Boston wasn't as much fun as I remembered. Now that I wasn't living in the crazy city, I could see how much I'd been missing in my life. Friends like Gabby and Rainey were nowhere to be seen in the big city. A possible love interest like Luke was out of the question. Even a funny guy like Baker was hard to find. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I missed Casper and the people in it. I'd missed my dad the most, though, and he was on his deathbed. Why did I have to be so damn stupid and refuse to come home? I should have been here for him.

Thank God for Luke. He'd stepped up and been a caregiver to Dad whenever Dad needed him. Despite the feelings he had for me, Luke was a good man, just as Dad had told me that morning. There was no denying his morals or convictions. He would give someone the shirt off his back if the other person were in need.

I smiled as I thought about Luke without his shirt off. The years had only enhanced his good looks. He was even more attractive at twenty-three than he'd been at sixteen when I met him. He'd filled out through the torso in a very appealing way. His chest and stomach muscles were well defined. I felt color rush my cheeks.

Then Dad called out to me. I switched off the radio and shucked the gloves in the sink. I made my way to his bedroom. Several hours later, Rainey and Gabby showed up with pizza, movies, and three bags of junk food. I laughed when it took them two trips to bring everything inside.

"Are you expecting a crowd?" I asked them.

"You never know," Gabby replied. "We figured your dad had been doing the shopping before you came home, so there wouldn't be much to eat here. This way, you're all set for a while."

"Well, thanks, I guess," I said.

A full pantry in Boston meant cans of vegetables and fruit, not bags of potato chips, pretzels, and cookies.

"So, you'll never guess what happened at the grocery store!" said Rainey, practically gushing.

"Do we have to tell her?" Gabby asked.

"Oh, now you _must_ tell me," I said.

Gabby stubbornly closed her mouth and shook her head, so I looked at Rainey.

"Sorry, Gabs, I have to tell her. We ran into Luke and Baker. And Baker told me they were headed to the bar tonight. Good thing we're staying in—I do not want to run in to them again. So, they left and we continued our shopping spree and ran into Wolfe," Rainey said.

"Your ex-husband?" I asked Gabby.

"Not yet. We're still married because Maine demands a one-year separation before the judge will grant a divorce."

"Yeah, yeah, but that's not the best part," Rainey said with a grin. "When he said hello, Gabby punched him. Right in the face!"

"What! Why?"

Gabby became defensive. "He was hitting on Rainey right in front of me. He deserved it."

Rainey laughed. "He did not. He said it was nice to see me and ignored Gabby completely. And so Gabby lost her mind."

"Oh, shut up," Gabby said. She grabbed a few bags of groceries and made her way to the kitchen.

"You should have seen how jealous she was. If you ask me, that girl still has a thing for her husband," Rainey whispered.

I smiled. "Well then, we'll have to see about setting them up again, huh?"

We gave each other a conspiratorial grin and followed Gabby into the kitchen.

"What kind of pizza did you get?" I asked.

"Hawaiian. Your favorite," Rainey said from somewhere behind me.

I couldn't believe they thought my favorite pizza was Hawaiian. Hawaiian was Luke's favorite pizza. My favorite was pepperoni. Had Luke and I been so absorbed in each other that people couldn't even tell us apart?

"I'm not very hungry," I said.

"Sure thing," Gabby said as she unpacked the junk food.

She and Rainey found a place to put everything while I made the excuse to go check on my dad.

"Hey, Mal," Dad said from his spot on the bed when I entered his room. He saw the look on my face and patted the space beside him. "What's wrong?"

"Were Luke and I the same person?" I asked without a thought.

"What? When you were together? A little bit, yeah. That's part of the reason I encouraged you to go to Boston. I knew he wouldn't want to leave Casper. As much as I liked Luke, I also knew you needed to figure out who you were."

I took his hand. "You knew Luke and I would break up?"

"I figured it was a likely possibility. Time apart has a way of making people truly realize what they want out of life. I never suspected you wouldn't want to come back at all, but that was part of the risk I took. I wanted you to know who you could be _without_ Luke so that if you were with him, you would recognize your own potential. And hopefully, so would he."

"My dad, the philosopher," I said.

It was true. He knew so much more about me than I knew about myself. He'd known I would need to separate myself from Luke in order to figure out who I was and what I wanted. For a while, I thought I wanted my life in Boston, but now I was starting to see how much I wanted to be in Casper.

"Dad, I'm going to start looking for a job here," I said with resolve. "I think one of the girls I went to high school with is one of the managers at the bank. Maybe they'll hire me."

"Are you sure that's what you want?" he asked.

"Yes." I was surer of the decision to move home than I'd been about anything in my life. "I want to move home. Permanently."

His eyes lit up and his smile was wide. "I'm glad to have you back, baby girl."

He pulled me into a hug. I blinked away tears, but I didn't mind. They were tears of happiness. I was finally moving on with my life instead of running away from it.

"I'm happy to come home," I whispered into his T-shirt.

When he finally begged me to let him sleep, I meandered back into the living room and found Rainey and Gabby with an open bottle of wine watching reruns of Friends. They both stared at me.

"What's wrong?" Rainey asked.

"Nothing. In fact, I guess I should tell you guys. I'm moving back to Casper for good." I smiled.

They both shrieked and jumped off the couch to envelop me in a hug. It felt right.

"What made you change your mind?" Gabby asked once we were settled on the couch.

"My dad. He wanted me to be able to really choose this life, much like he did when he was my age. And being back just makes me realize how much I've missed it. I want to spend the rest of my life here."

Another round of shrieks and hugs had me laughing hysterically. Once we calmed down, we watched _Sixteen Candles_ as if we were all fourteen again.

Several movies later, we were somewhat passed out around the living room and on the verge of sleep. When the house phone rang, we all jumped.

"Who the hell is calling this late?" Rainey asked.

She was curled into a ball on the floor while Gabby and I shared the couch. I rolled off the couch and managed to get to the phone on the fourth ring.

"Hello?" I muttered into the receiver.

"Mallory Wells?" a male voice asked.

I cleared my throat in an attempt to clear my head. "Yes, that's me."

"I have Lukas Bates, Christopher Baker, and Wolfe Landon here at The Landing. They've given me your number in hopes you'll be willing to give them a ride home," he said.

I groaned. "Tell all three of them to go to hell," I said, then hung up.

Rainey sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Who was that?"

"Luke, Baker, and Wolfe want a ride home from the bar," I explained.

"They're with Wolfe?" Gabby perked up. "Since when do they hang out with Wolfe?" She sounded incredulous.

"I hung up. I'm not giving them a ride," I said. "One of you is more than welcome to, though."

"We can't, Mal. We've both had several glasses of wine. You're the only one who stayed sober," Rainey said.

She was right. I sighed. The phone rang again and I picked it up on the first ring.

"Yeah, I'll pick them up," I said and slammed the receiver down. I felt just a pinch of satisfaction, but it wasn't a lot.

I checked on my dad, who was fast asleep, and then grabbed the keys to Rainey's minivan. If they were going to puke, they could do so in her car, not mine. I drove to The Landing alone since Gabby and Rainey were already back to sleep by the time I left the house.

I pulled into the parking lot of The Landing and honked. The three men stumbled out of the front door and I watched, amused, as they made their way to the van. Luke was the slowest of the group and when he tried to maneuver the two steps down to the parking lot, he took a tumble. His face landed in the dirt and I realized I was going to have to help him since Wolfe and Baker were laughing hysterically.

I got out and walked to Luke. "Want some help?"

He looked up at me from the ground.

"Mallory? You came." He sounded amazed that I would show up.

I helped him up to his feet. "Yeah, I came. But only because I'm the only sober one tonight."

He laughed but didn't say anything. Once everyone was safely in the van, I asked Wolfe where he was living.

"Oh, I will just crash at Baker's tonight. I live out on the peninsula and I don't want you to drive that far," he said.

He seemed nice enough and I wondered what his and Gabby's issues were.

"To Baker's we go then."

I put the van in drive and headed toward Baker's apartment. Luckily, the guys were quiet for the ride and there was no puking. When I pulled into the driveway, Baker sat forward and put his hand on my shoulder.

"You're alright, Wells," he said with a slight slur. "It's too bad Bates here can't get his thumb out of his ass and ask you out again. Tell Rainey I said hello."

Before I could reply, he was out of the van. The door slid closed and he dragged Wolfe up the steps to his apartment. I turned to Luke. His head rested on the window and his eyes were closed. I waited until I saw the lights flicker on in Baker's apartment window before I pulled out and drove the fifty-foot stretch to Luke's apartment. When I put the van in Park, he didn't stir.

I nudged his shoulder. "Luke, you're home," I said.

He mumbled something but wouldn't open his eyes. I turned off the van and went around to the passenger door. I made sure to open the door carefully so he wouldn't fall out. His chocolate brown eyes fluttered open.

"Mal, why do I keep having dreams about you?"

_Luke dreamt of me_? I thought, quelling a surge of unexpected excitement. I smiled as I pulled him out of the van. He swayed on his feet, but didn't topple over.

"Let's get you upstairs, Luke," I said.

He let me guide him to his apartment. Once we made it into his living room, he collapsed on the couch. I figured he'd be all right to sleep it off there. I didn't want to try to haul him up and into his bedroom. I pulled off his work boots and tossed them by the door.

His eyes were closed but a huge grin spread across his face. "You can keep undressing me, Mallory," he said with a seductive tone.

"I think maybe you should sleep alone tonight, Luke."

"Just like every other night of my life. I have to suffer while you and Jason get to be together in Boston," he muttered.

_Again with the Jason thing_ , I thought, wondering where he'd heard the name. "How do you know about Jason?"

"You called me Jason last night when I put you to bed." He slurred his words.

_Ahh..._ _That's how he knew,_ I thought. _He must be jealous_.

"I have a secret to tell you, Luke," I leaned down close to his face.

His eyes popped open and he looked into my eyes.

"I promise I won't tell anyone, Mal."

"Jason and I aren't together anymore."

I placed a chaste kiss on his lips but pulled away before I could enjoy it too much. There wasn't a man on the planet who could kiss like Luke Bates, and I didn't want to ruin it with a drunken kiss from Luke.

"Goodnight, Luke."

Chapter Twelve

Luke

My head throbbed painfully. The sun was up and shining brilliantly through the living room window. I squinted my eyes against the bright glare and sat up slowly. Once my feet touched the floor, I rested my elbows on my knees. I ran my hands through my hair in an attempt to clear the fog that clung to my brain. Last night was the first time in a long time I'd passed my limit. Since my community college days, in fact, I hadn't done more than get a good buzz on. I planned to blame Baker and Wolfe.

I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket when it buzzed. There were several texts from Baker and one from Mallory. I opened Mallory's first.

"Hope you feel horrible. Can I come over later? We need to talk."

The text was so cryptic I had no idea what the real meaning was. I typed out a reply telling her to come over whenever she wanted.

I got up and made my way to the bathroom. I reeked of beer. I remembered Baker's texts and glanced at them. He wanted to know if I was all right and he complained about his own hangover. I sent a reply and turned on the hot water.

Half an hour later, I felt human again and my head was starting to clear. I didn't think I would have another drink for a while. I pulled on a pair of boxers and then my jeans and zipped them but left the button undone. I went into the living room and found Mallory pacing in front of the couch.

"Oh, hey. The, umm...," she trailed off as she stared at my chest. She shook her head and then continued. "The door was unlocked, so I just let myself in."

I fought back a smile. "No problem."

I made my way to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. It was after eight, but still early enough for coffee. I tried not to notice what she wore. Her short jean skirt and tiny pink tank top were revealing enough to kick my imagination into overdrive.

"So, what did you want to talk about?"

She paused. "Well, there's no easy way to say this, Luke."

"Then just say it, Mallory. We've known each other too long to get tongue-tied."

"You're right. Last night, I brought you home and you mentioned Jason again. I even managed to get you to tell me how you knew about him. I'm sorry I told you about him after I'd been drinking the other night."

"What, or rather, who, you do in Boston is your business, not mine," I muttered.

"Don't be an ass. I'm apologizing, especially if I gave you the impression I was still seeing him. I'm not."

I tried to calm my rapidly beating heart. Did that mean she was _single_?

She waited for my response.

I wanted to sound nonchalant, but it came off sarcastic. The problem was, I was entirely too excited to hear she wasn't seeing someone than I should have been.

"Good for you," I said.

She seemed to need to spell it out. "I'm single."

I sucked in a breath as she moved closer to me in the kitchen.

She trailed her delicate hand down my chest to the opening of my jeans. "It _is_ good for me, but it's also good for _you._ "

I swallowed hard. "What do you want from me?" I whispered, terrified of the answer.

"Just you, Luke. I've always wanted you," she said slowly.

She put her hands around my neck and pulled me toward her. I knew, long before our lips touched, that she was going to break my heart again. But the knowledge didn't stop me from wrapping my arms around her waist. Our bodies melded together as I put my lips on hers. She sighed and tightened her hands around my neck.

I probed her lips with my tongue, and she opened them for me. It was like coming home. I'd missed her for three long years and her smell, her touch, her taste overwhelmed me. My whole body shook in anticipation. I'm not sure how much time passed—minutes, hours—as I kissed her, but when we pulled apart, we were both out of breath.

"I'm done running, Luke," she whispered.

She laid her head on my shoulder and we stood there like that for what felt like days. When the coffee pot beeped, I knew it had only been a few minutes.

"Do you want to talk?" I asked her.

She shook her head.

"I just want you."

I didn't need to be told twice. I ignored the coffee and tugged her into my bedroom. The bed was made, and I thanked God for the little things. I closed the door and took her into my arms. It was surreal and amazing at the same time. I'd waited years to hold her like this again, and here she was, telling me she wanted me. I must be dreaming.

She laughed against my lips. "It's not a dream."

I must have spoken my thought aloud.

I sucked her bottom lip into my mouth and heard her gasp. I nipped the plump, pink flesh with my teeth. She purred, a low, throaty sound as she crushed her breasts against my chest. I was acutely aware of her every move, every slide of her hand across my neck, the rustle of the material of her tank top when she went on tip toe to deepen our kiss. She wanted more. So did I.

I lifted the hem of her tank top and slowly brought it over her head. She bit her lip as I looked at her exposed body. Her skin was tan and soft. I tossed the tank top to the floor and gently traced a line between the valley of her breasts down to her belly button. When she giggled, I pulled her face to mine again. I pushed my tongue into her mouth, and she didn't protest. She stepped back and made both of us fall onto the bed.

"Ummph!" I groaned.

I hadn't expected this playful side to her. We'd had sex when she was in high school, and she'd always been shy, reserved. But now, she was different.

"Don't you like it rough, baby?" she asked with a smirk.

I nearly choked. Those were not words I thought I'd ever hear from her.

"I learned a thing or two in college," she said teasingly.

She took advantage of my shock and rolled us over so she could straddle me. She gave me an evil grin and then scooted down the bed so she could help me out of my jeans. When I was down to just my boxers, she made a move to pull those off too, but I stopped her. She was still grinning like an idiot when she looked up at me in surprised. I squeezed her fingers and looked deep into her eyes.

"You're beautiful," I blurted.

It wasn't what I meant to say, but I supposed it was better than me spouting off something about being in love. Because as much as I wanted to admit it to her, now wasn't the time. She might get spooked and then I would lose the chance to be with her again.

"Such a charmer," she replied.

She leaned over me and planted the sweetest kiss against my lips. It didn't take long for that sweetness to turn into carnal lust. She was tugging at my boxers again and I realized she was still more dressed than undressed. I tossed her over and she squealed in delight. I pulled down her skirt and drew a deep breath. She wasn't wearing anything underneath.

"Someone knew what they wanted," I said.

"Are you going to complain?" she mused.

"No, ma'am," I assured her.

I spread her thighs and her demeanor turned serious when she realized what I was doing. I dipped my head toward her, inhaling her sweet scent as I went. I used two fingers to spread her open; she was on display like a feast, but still I didn't move to taste her.

"Luke," she complained.

I grinned at her impatience. I had learned a few things, too. Like when to take your time. We hadn't declared our love for each other; as far as either of us knew, this was just a fling, but I would be damned if it wouldn't be the best memory we shared.

She wiggled her hips beneath me, and I finally gave in. I brushed my tongue against her and found her pleasure center. I created suction and moved my tongue as fast against her clit as I could. Her response was instantaneous.

"Luke!" she cried out.

Her hips lifted off the bed to meet my mouth and my hands slipped beneath her to hold her there. I kept my eyes on her face, reveling in the pleasure I was giving her. Her eyes were closed, but there was a sweet look of rapture on her face. I continued my onslaught and within minutes, she was there.

I watched her come, amazed at the woman before me. She was no longer a girl who hid her face beneath the pillow when she came. She screamed and bucked, and her hands dug into my skull with a force I'd never experienced. She rode the wave for several minutes before releasing me. I was so turned on I could have watched her come all day long.

When I lifted my head, she crooked her finger at me and gave me her best come-hither smile. I crawled up the bed to her, stopping only to remove her bra as I went. I kissed her neck up and continued to her earlobe. She turned her head, eager for my attentions. She shuddered when I sucked her lobe into my mouth and flicked it with my tongue. She moaned when I pressed my pelvis against hers. I rubbed against her; the only thing separating us was the thin fabric of my boxers.

"Please, Luke. I need you," she said.

They were the sweetest words I'd heard. I rolled off her, shucked my boxers, and grabbed a condom out of the nightstand. I ripped it open and rolled it on, suddenly anxious to be inside her. She made a movement to give me head, but I refused. I'd come too soon if she wrapped those pretty pink lips around me.

I kneeled between her thighs, leaned over her, and thrust inside her without further preparation. I wasn't gentle, not like I'd been in the past. Her eyes popped open in surprise, but she didn't complain. She ground her hips up toward mine, a plea for more. She was tight and hot, and I knew it was going to be over before it really got started. But I held onto what little control I had and managed to thrust into her several times before I began to lose my composure. When I knew I was going to blow, I sped up, praying desperately she would come again, but knowing I would go down on her again if she didn't.

I was just about to give in to my desires when she tightened her thighs around my hips.

"I'm so close, Luke," she sighed, her hands gripping my biceps like a vice. "Please."

Her eyes bore into mine and I couldn't resist her plea.

I took a deep breath, struggling to stay in control. I wanted to lose myself in her, but I wanted her to be satisfied even more. I thrust harder, faster, and deeper than ever, promising myself that I could do this. It was mind over matter. I tried everything to keep from blowing my load. I mentally balanced my checkbook. I thought about my dead mother. Anything to keep from coming into her deliciously tight grasp.

But nothing seemed to work. Just when I was sure it wasn't going to happen for her and I was going to come, she screamed.

Her ear-splitting shriek pierced my eardrums and had me letting go as she came. She brought her hand to my neck and forced me closer to her with a sexy kiss that we both moaned into. I came into her with renewed force, letting everything else fade away as I focused on pleasure. Hers. Mine. Ours. Just before I blacked out from pleasure exhaustion, I had one truly frightening thought.

I am never going to get enough of Mallory Wells.

Chapter Thirteen

Mallory

I lay there, unmoving but fully sated, while Luke went to the bathroom. Doubtful thoughts crept in. I didn't regret it; I knew that for sure. But what did it all mean? Were we back together? Friends with benefits? I had no idea. But I knew we were going to have to talk about it. Eventually. All I wanted to do was lie in my hazy bubble of sexual satisfaction and not think about the future.

"Hey there," he said from the bathroom.

He had his arm propped up on the doorframe and was wearing his jeans again. He looked so damn sexy that my heart ached. I swallowed the rising emotions and tried to keep it light.

"Hey there, stallion," I said. He laughed and made his way over to the bed. He sat beside me and I turned on my side toward him. This was it. _The talk._

"Mal, we need to talk," he started, just as I suspected.

My cell phone rang, a loud, obnoxious sound that made me giddy with joy. For now, at least, our conversation would have to wait. Luke sighed and went to find it. He handed it to me. I glanced at the caller ID and saw it was my house number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Mallory, I'm sorry to bother you, but I think your father is getting worse. I called Doctor Minor, and he's coming out to check on him. I wanted you to know, though," said my dad's hospice nurse, Irene.

"No, thank you, Irene. I'll be home right away," I said, dread filling the pit of my stomach. I hung up and looked at Luke. "It's Dad. He's worse."

"Get dressed, I'll drive you over," he said. I watched him pull on a shirt and grab a pair of socks. He looked at me. "Mallory! Get dressed!"

But I was frozen. This was the beginning of the end. We all knew Dad didn't have much time, but would it be now, before the summer ever even started? Before I was able to catch up and apologize and beg his forgiveness? I couldn't deal with it.

Luke squatted in front of where I sat on the edge of his bed. "Mallory, he needs you now. Be strong." He held my face between his palms, looked into my eyes, and then kissed my forehead. "You can do this."

I nodded, still not completely sure of his confidence in me, but knowing it didn't matter. Dad _did_ need me. I would have to be strong until after his death, whether I liked it or not. Luke set my clothes beside me on the bed and walked out of the room. My brain was numb. I could hardly think, but I managed to get dressed. When I finally emerged from the bedroom, Luke had my purse and car keys in his hands.

"Ready?" he asked.

I nodded, not entirely sure if I was. He ushered me out to my car and insisted he drive. I didn't argue.

"Talk to me, Mal. What are you thinking?"

"I... I don't know. It's all just so surreal," I answered.

I stared at the passing trees. As a child, I'd often counted them as we passed, certain I could count them all. _One, two, three...._

"Let's talk about something other than your dad. You need to clear your mind. How was the slumber party last night?"

"It was okay, I guess. I think there is something wrong with Rainey, though," I said, thinking about my friend.

"How do you mean?" he asked.

"Well, when we were at the bar, she refused to drink, and then last night she had a couple glasses of wine, but I heard her throwing up this morning. When I asked her about it, she just said she didn't drink very often anymore," I said. "Her behavior was definitely odd."

"Could she be pregnant?"

"I thought of that, too. But Rainey wouldn't have had anything to drink at all, if she was pregnant," I replied. "She's too smart for that."

"We'll figure it out," he said, and I knew he was talking about more than just Rainey.

There was so much to figure out. My dad, whatever this was between us, the list went on.

When he pulled into my driveway, Doctor Minor was already waiting for us on the front porch. I jumped out of the truck and ran to meet him on the porch.

"Miss Wells, I just had a very interesting conversation with your father," Dr. Minor said. "His condition is precarious, and he should have another round of chemo treatments. But Joe has given up. He refuses more chemo and wants to die."

Luke was right behind me, his hands on my shoulders. I took comfort in his touch.

"Can you force him into treatment?" he asked.

"Unfortunately, no. He's made up his mind, he says. The best we can do now is give him some medication for the pain and wait. I'm sorry Miss Wells."

He shook my hand and was halfway back to his car before I finally spoke.

"That's it?" I whirled around to face him. He turned with a grim expression on his face. "You want me to just _watch him die?_ " I was a woman possessed and if it hadn't been for Luke's hands on me, I probably would have gone after him. But Luke held me still.

"I'm sorry," he said. Then he got into his car and drove away.

I stared after the trail of dust his Pontiac left for a moment.

Irene stepped out onto the porch, drawing my attention. "Mallory, he's asking for you."

I nodded and turned back to the house. Luke put a hand on my arm.

"You don't have to do this alone," he said.

His brown eyes pleaded with me to be reasonable. I wasn't in the mood to accommodate him.

"I've always been alone, Luke. Always," I said, yanking my arm out of his light grasp. It was true, but I was only alone because I pushed everyone away. I walked down the hallway to his room and pushed open the door. I'd only been gone a few hours and he looked like he'd aged ten years. His skin was void of all color, his eyes nearly glazed over. Irene was back at his side.

"I just gave him some meds. They'll make him a bit loopy in a few minutes. Now might be the only time you have to say goodbye," she whispered to me as she left the room.

I looked at the bed, which suddenly seemed enormous in comparison to his frail body.

"You know, you were supposed to stick around all summer, Dad. What am I going to do with all my free time?" I said. I knew my smile was sad, but I couldn't help it.

"You've got to move on, Mal. You know that," he said with a raspy voice.

He sounded as if he'd been screaming, his voice was so hoarse. I lumped formed in my throat.

"I don't _want_ to move on," I said. "What about your promise?"

I grasped his hands between mine and it dawned on me how frail he was just in the short time since he'd come home from the hospital. It was as if he'd used all his energy just so he could see me again. And now that he had, he was letting go.

"I promised you I would always be there for you, not that I would live forever. You've grown up into a beautiful woman," he said.

He fell into a fit of coughing and the sound cut up my heart into tiny little pieces. Tears formed in my eyes for what seemed like the millionth time since I'd come home. This wasn't fair.

"I love you, Dad," I said.

He was going to stay medicated until the end, which meant he might not be coherent for the remainder of his life.

His delicate hand lifted and he cupped my face. He looked into my eyes as he spoke. "I love you, Mallory. Never forget that."

I nodded with a jerk and the tears fell from my eyes onto his hand. He smiled as he watched a single tear make its way down the pallid skin of his knuckle. It was a sad, death-welcoming smile.

"Where's Luke?"

I turned away, back toward the doorway. Luke popped his head in.

"I wasn't eavesdropping, I swear," he said. I noticed his eyes were red and puffy and wondered if he'd been crying, too. "I'm right here, Joe."

"Mallory, I want a word with Luke. Alone, please," Dad said.

I wanted to argue, I needed to spend every moment with him I could until he was gone. But I knew he needed to speak with Luke, too. Luke was like a son to him, whether he and I were a couple or not. Luke had been a better child to my father than I had. And now I was out of time to make up for it.

So, I kissed Dad's hand and left the room, shutting the door behind me. I went into the kitchen and let Irene know how thankful I was for all that she'd done.

"I've been in hospice nursing for years, but I never quite met a man like Joe," she whispered. She had tears in her eyes. "The last six months or so, Luke convinced Joe to hire someone from hospice to help with the daily upkeep of the house. Joe just couldn't handle the day-to-day stuff."

"You have been a huge help, Irene. My dad has been lucky to help you," I said.

"I'm going to miss him," she admitted.

The way she said it caught my attention. Was there more going on here?

"I think everyone will miss him. Even after... after he passes, I would still like you to come take care of the house. I don't know what my immediate plans are, so I don't want to get your hopes up that it will be forever, or that I need taking care of, but if you're interested in the housekeeping aspect, I'd be happy to have you," I told her, wondering how much her services cost.

"That is sweet, Mallory. Really. But I am no longer employed by the hospice agency. I got done three months ago," she said.

"So, then, why are you here?" I asked.

"Your father is an amazing man," she said.

It was her way of answering without actually answering me. She and my father had a thing going. And they were in their forties. _I guess love happens at any age._ I smiled at her.

"When Luke is finished talking to my father, I'd like you to sit with him for a while," I suggested, knowing that's exactly what she would want to do.

She nodded her thanks and I went to sit on the front porch swing. I sat there for several minutes before Luke came out onto the porch and sat next to me. We didn't speak; we just sat there in silence. When his hand wrapped around mine, I entwined our fingers together, still unsure of my true feelings, but emotionally drained. I needed his comfort. I put my head on his shoulder and he put an arm around me.

We sat there, silently awaiting the death of the man who was a father to both of us.

Chapter Fourteen

Luke

Joe's death was one I didn't want to deal with. He was practically my own father, and after what he'd said to me before he died, I felt like that was the case even more so. He held on for three more days before the cancer took him. Mallory and Irene were sitting with him when he breathed his last. I'd been in the kitchen, consoling my aching heart with food.

Mallory's screams drew my attention and I ran into the room to find Mallory with her head on Joe's chest, sobbing. Her agonized cries tugged on my heart.

"You promised me, Daddy. You broke you promise," she whispered, over and over again.

Irene had called the medical examiner and funeral director and it had taken all of us to get Mallory to let go of her dad. When she finally turned from him, she threw herself into my arms and cried heart-wrenching sobs. Her whole body convulsed with her tremors. I did the only thing I could do; I wrapped my arms around her and held tight. She would always find comfort from me.

That was three days ago, and the funeral was later today. Joe's words from our little chat haunted me to no end.

"I want to ask you about your intentions with my daughter," Joe said.

My jaw dropped. He was dying but he still put her first. He was the epitome of a devoted father.

"I, umm, I don't know what you mean," I babbled, wondering what he wanted from me.

Joe was direct. "Do you want her back or not, son?"

"Of course I do," I answered honestly.

"And if you get her, what do you plan to do about it?"

"Are you asking me if I plan to marry her?"

"Damn right I am. I see the way you look at her, Luke. I know you aren't the love 'em and leave 'em type. So tell me what you intend to do with my daughter."

This was insane. Mallory was only twenty-one and I was going to be twenty-four in a few months. We were too young to consider marriage, especially if Gabby and Wolfe were any indication of what young marriage led to. I didn't want resentment between Mallory and me.

"I'm in love with her, Joe. But marriage? At our age? I just don't think that's a viable option, especially when she's emotional and her future is unclear. She doesn't know if or when she's going back to Boston and I don't want to push her," I announced. I tucked my hands into the pockets of my jeans and felt vulnerable and uncomfortable.

"I want to know she's taken care of, Luke. You're the only man I trust her with," he said.

I was humbled.

"Whether you end up together or not, I want your word that you'll take care of her. For her entire life," he added.

"I promise," I said quickly. I didn't need to think about protecting Mallory. It came naturally.

"That's my boy," he said and lifted a frail hand to shake mine.

His boy. Joe wanted me as a son-in-law. He wanted me to marry his daughter, settle into this house, and raise babies. I couldn't help but think I wanted that, too. But I knew Mallory. She wasn't the type to accept men planning out her life. She would have to make her decisions on her own timeframe, without anyone pushing her.

And today was not the day to push. She'd been an emotional wreck after Joe's death and Rainey and Gabby had moved into the house in order to make sure she didn't do anything stupid. She wasn't suicidal, but depressed people were unpredictable. The doctors had prescribed Valium that first night, to help her sleep. But after six straight hours of night terrors, Gabby and Rainey had convinced the doctors she shouldn't take the pills anymore.

So she went without medication and although I was certain she wasn't sleeping well, as evidenced in the dark circles around her eyes, she wasn't having any more nightmares, either. She was coping. It was going to be a hard day for her. I had made a lot of the arrangements, since Joe's instructions had been specific, and Mallory wasn't capable of much. The official reading of his will would be sometime next week. I was told I needed to attend, since I was in it. That he'd thought of me in his last wishes made my heart clench.

I made my way to pick up Mallory and the girls. Baker and Wolfe were meeting us at the funeral home. I pulled into the driveway and Rainey was outside on the porch, smoking a cigarette.

"Careful, Rain, those things will kill you," I joked.

Her face went white and she tossed the cigarette away. I grabbed her arm before she could run into the house.

"I was kidding, Rainey."

The joke might have been in bad taste, but the tears welling in her eyes weren't about Joe.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I can't tell you," she whispered. Her long eyelashes dragged tears out of her eyes and onto her cheeks.

"You can tell me anything. I won't tell anyone."

It was true. Even though today was about Joe and Mallory, Rainey was my friend, too, and I would protect her as best I could.

"I can't. Not today. Let's just focus on Mallory today," she suggested.

I didn't want to push her into telling me, but I was also dying to know.

"Of course," I said. "I'm always here if you need me, though."

She nodded her thanks and took off into the house, presumably to fix her makeup. Why women wore makeup to a funeral, I would never understand. I opened the screen door and walked inside. One look at Mallory and I immediately understood why they wore makeup.

She was seated on the couch, her hands in her lap. She looked up when I walked in, but her face didn't change. She was pale and didn't have any makeup on. She looked like a ghost. The black dress and tiny black veil made her blue eyes pop, the color lighting up her face a bit. But there was sadness in those pretty eyes, a sadness that reached into her soul. She might never be the same again.

"Mallory, let's finish getting you ready," Gabby said, pulling on Mallory's hand.

Mal went with Gabby without a word, seemingly uncaring about how she looked. I knew this would be hard for her, but I never imagined it would crush her like this.

In the last three days, she'd spoken less than ten words to me. She didn't answer my calls and she replied to my texts with one-word answers. She was distancing herself from me. I was angry about it, but what could I say? Joe's death would probably be the hardest thing in her life to overcome. But she would. Eventually. She just needed time to grieve.

When Rainey reappeared in the living room, she looked no worse for the wear, and a sweetly sad smile was plastered on her face. She avoided eye contact with me and went into the kitchen to help with the food. There was going to be a reception here at the house after the funeral. I had protested that a reception Mallory couldn't escape from was a bad idea, but I was overruled. I sighed. These women were always overruling us men.

Gabby entered the living room with Mallory trailing behind her. Mal was wearing makeup, her eyes coated in thick black mascara that made her eyelashes look extra-long. I hoped Gabby had been smart enough to use that waterproof stuff; there was no way Mallory wouldn't cry today. I walked up to her and she looked up at me expectantly.

"You can do this," I said. I wanted only to give her comfort, but it backfired.

"Of course I can do this, Luke. I don't have any other choice," she said.

Her voice was unnaturally calm and not even the slightest bit emotional. As I pondered the meaning of that, she turned away and went to join the women in the kitchen. Something about her was off, but I couldn't place it. She seemed more distant than normal, but I expected that. There was something else going on. I followed her to the kitchen.

"We need to get going," I said to the room. The four women turned to me and I felt like a child. "It's almost eleven," I added.

Irene glared. Rainey rolled her eyes. Gabby sighed. Mallory didn't do anything. She just looked at me with her baby blues void of all emotion.

"Yes, girls, let's get going," Irene said finally.

She gathered her purse and ushered me and the girls out of the house. She was a mother hen, but I didn't complain. She was able to get those women out of the house when my efforts had been wasted.

Once we were in the car, the five of us settled into an awkward silence. There were no words for a day like this. No amount of compassion and apologies about her loss would console Mallory. Not that she seemed in the mood for consoling. The silence went on and on until we finally reached the only funeral home in town. There was a parking lot on either side, but we were early, so it wasn't filled yet. After the effect Joe had on this town, I imagined both parking lots, and even the parking lot of the bank across the street, would be full.

I took a deep breath before we walked inside. There was a distinct smell about the building, one I was sure lingered from the hundreds of dead people who had come and gone through this place. I led the way through the double doors and into the room to the immediate right. There was a large hall with plenty of seating for anyone who came. A single aisle led down to the casket that was sealed closed. I wasn't afraid, per se, but death was never easy. I made my way toward the casket and laid my hand against the cool wood.

"I'll take care of her, Joe."

I made my final promise. I knew he wasn't inside; he'd been cremated the day before. But I still felt a connection to the man whom I'd looked up to for the past few years. I walked away from the casket and turned back to where Mallory stood frozen at the back of the room. Rainey motioned me toward them, a look of severe anxiety on her face.

"Mallory is refusing to go to her seat," Rainey whispered as I approached.

I figured as much. I nodded to Rainey and took Mallory's arm. She tried to pull back, but I wouldn't let her.

"I'm not ready for this," she whispered harshly.

I heard the fear in her voice and saw it in her cloudy blue eyes. I tugged her gently away from the crowd of people, farther back in the room.

"You don't have to do this, Mallory. We can leave, right now. I'll take you home and you will never have to come back here."

I watched her consider my words. I knew a part of her wanted more than anything to do what I suggested and just skip out on the funeral. Her shoulders slumped as she weighed her options. She looked at her feet and, after a full minute, came to a decision. Her shoulders went straight, and her head came up. She met my eyes without a tear in sight.

She gave me a soft smile. "Dad wouldn't have wanted me to run away," she said. "Will you go up with me?"

"Of course," I answered.

I hadn't expected her to be so strong. I wanted to believe she would need my shoulder to cry on, but she proved her guts when she walked down the aisle to the casket alone. I trailed behind her, just to be certain she didn't break down.

But she didn't.

With her head held high, she whispered a goodbye to her father's casket and then sat in the front row to wait for the service to begin. I sat next to her, amazed by her determination. She looked completely calm and at peace with the situation. It was only when the pastor walked up to the front of the room that I had any idea of the terror she felt inside.

She held onto my hand with an iron grip, her fingers clutching mine like a lifeline. I gave her hand a little squeeze for support.

Chapter Fifteen

Mallory

As much as I wanted to cry, I refused. Dad wouldn't want me to mourn him. He would want me to cherish all the moments I had with him when he was alive. Of course, that didn't make this dreadful day any worse. I took refuge in the fact that he wasn't inside the death box from hell.

The place was decorated nicely with an assortment of flowers, which I thought was the perfect embodiment of my dad: here today, gone tomorrow. It was ironic, really. The beautiful flowers would wilt away in the summer heat, much as my father had done in the past few years. No matter how much he'd told me he wanted me to be happy in Boston, I couldn't help the guilt that plagued my soul. I should have been here for him. He'd suffered alone while I had been living a perfect life in the city. Well, not entirely alone. He'd had Luke. _Luke._

Luke was the one person who understood my guilt. He sat by me through the service as I held on to his hand for dear life. He was my lifeline. He made me feel strong enough to deal with the death of my father. Even though we hadn't talked much over the past few days, we were still connected. We needed to work out some of the details of our on-again relationship.

Although _we_ didn't need to work anything out. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt Luke wanted to get back together. I was the one who was fickle. As much as I adored Luke, and yes, I probably loved him, I wasn't sure I wanted to settle for this small town. Dad's terminal status had resigned me to spending a few months here, but now that my ties to Casper were gone, all I could think about was Boston. My roommates weren't intrusive about my personal life like Rainey and Gabby. I loved them, but my Boston roomies didn't dig deep into how I felt about things. Rain and Gab were two of the most infuriating women on the planet.

They hadn't left my house since the night of the slumber party. One of them was always with me. They refused to leave me alone _in my time of need._ Ha! What I needed was for them to leave me in peace. I just wanted to grieve my dad without dealing with inadequate condolences and people telling me about the people they lost in their life. But Gabby and Rainey were constantly at my side, both before and after Dad's death.

Except, of course, for the few hours I managed to slip out before he died and spend some quality time with Luke. And oh, what an amazing few hours it was. I was sixteen the first time I slept with Luke. It was the night he graduated high school. It had been beautiful and terrifying and everything I dreamed it would be, even if it were a little awkward.

Luke had learned some moves; he wasn't shy or afraid to take what he wanted. We'd both grown up, it seemed, and sex had been a thousand times better than when we were kids. I couldn't believe he was the same man I'd left years ago. He matured over the course of three years, but so had I. I wasn't a naïve little girl who believed in happily ever after. My dad's death was proof enough for me that it didn't exist.

I clung to him at the funeral service, even though I knew I would leave him again. I couldn't live in this town without my father, no matter how much I cared for Luke.

When the pastor began his short sermon, I expected it to be preachy, but I was pleasantly surprised. And heartbroken all the same. He started with a greeting and then went into the story of the footprints in the sand.

I wanted to cry as he recited the words of the poem I had memorized as a child. My lips moved in unison with his as he read. I felt the reality of Dad's death and I fought to keep my composure. It was a ridiculous struggle, but I believed that tears at his funeral would make him look down on me in shame.

"When we face the most troubling times of our lives, we must remember that God has a plan for us, even if we can't see that plan," he said. The pastor continued, discussing the afterlife and how we should rejoice that another of God's children had been called home.

I didn't see anything to rejoice over, especially not when I'd lost the last member of my family. I was completely and utterly alone. Not even thoughts of my time with Luke could console my aching heart. I wanted to crawl into a hole and just die.

When the pastor asked if anyone would like to speak a few words about my dad, Luke squeezed my hand and stood. The pastor moved away from the microphone to let him speak.

"When I met Joe Wells, I was just a punk kid who only cared about seeing how far I could get with his daughter," he started. I blushed furiously. "But when our relationship ended, as most teen romances do, my relationship with Joe only grew. He was like a father to me, but he was also one of my closest friends. He was more than just a good man—he was an amazing person as a whole. He believed in second chances and seeking out dreams. He taught me to believe in happy endings."

I was shocked by his speech, especially since it was the beautiful opposite of my inner thoughts. Luke returned to my side without hesitation and I grabbed for his hand again.

"Joe's family has prepared a video slideshow of photos they would like to share," the pastor informed us.

I wanted to demand Luke take me home, but he gave me a gentle squeeze and we watched the show together. Pictures from my childhood flashed in front of us. The photos I'd pulled out of the box in my bedroom, plus some I didn't submit. I glanced at Luke but he kept his gaze straight ahead. A photo of Luke's senior prom, arm draped over my shoulder while my dad made a face beside us. A picture of Dad pretending to strangle Luke caused laughter to filter throughout the crowd. My high school prom photos, the ones Luke and I had pretended to be happy in. I pushed down the lump in my throat.

When the funeral service ended, I let myself be led to the car. We were hosting a small reception at our house. It never dawned on me that I wouldn't want to deal with so many people. The house was already crowded when Luke pulled his car in the drive. I swallowed the lump in my throat and opened the passenger door. Luke was there in an instant to help me out. I wanted to thank him, but I couldn't form the words.

The inside of my house had been transformed into a social gathering with people I was sure I'd never even met standing around eating food and chatting. It was all so normal, so very much like a party that I couldn't take it. I made a beeline for my room, but I was stopped by two older women wearing ridiculous hats.

"Mallory Wells, is that you?" the one with a yellow hat asked me.

I couldn't help but notice that with her yellow hat and dress, she looked like a marshmallow Peep.

"Why, it's been years since you've been back, hasn't it? At least you came for your daddy's funeral service," she remarked.

I was about to punch an old woman in the face when Luke saved me.

"Ladies, is this Easter? It is customary to wear dark colors in respect for the deceased. And may I say you both look like you're attending a party instead of a reception to mourn the dead. I'm sure Joe is up in Heaven, thankful for the two of you," he said as he pulled me away from them and toward my bedroom.

I could imagine my dad laughing at the old biddies. It brought a smile to my face.

"Thank you," I said once he shut the door to my bedroom and cut out the world outside.

"Anything for you, Mal," he said.

I had him alone, and I knew I needed to be honest with him. He moved in for a hug, but I pulled away.

"Luke, we need to talk," I started.

His laughter surprised me.

"I hope it's not the same talk we had a few days ago. I think Joe would frown upon us," he said, jokingly.

I realized the last time I said those words to him, I'd jumped him. He wouldn't like the outcome of this chat.

"No, Luke, it's not like that. Honestly, it's the opposite of that. I wanted to let you know that after the reading of the will next week, I'm going back to Boston," I said in a rush.

I watched as the anger rose up in him. But he didn't speak right away. He took several calming breaths before he finally addressed me.

"Fine. I see you're still as spoiled rotten as ever and you've learned nothing about me in the past week, or hell, the past seven years! This isn't a game, Mallory," he said.

I should have heeded his warning. "A game? Oh, like the one you played when I left? Getting close to my father to spite me so that you could rub it in my face when he died—that's a great play, Luke. But you're right, this isn't a game. If I've learned nothing in the last week, it's that people always let you down—they always leave. So, before you get the pleasure of leaving me, I'm leaving you first. I didn't make you sleep with me again, so don't you dare try to accuse me of playing some game. I told you I wasn't going to stay in Casper forever. It isn't my fault if you didn't listen to me."

I was seething. I wanted to hurt him, to make him hate me so he didn't feel the heartbreak I knew he suffered from. I wanted him to have someone better.

The flash of hurt I saw in his eyes before his anger reappeared was enough that I didn't want to say anymore. I didn't want to hurt him again, but I needed to get out of this town and falling deeper in love with him was only going to hurt us both in the end. I folded my arms across my chest and waited for him to retaliate.

He didn't, though. He gave me a short nod with a grimace, walked out of the room, and out of my life. I swallowed the lump in my throat, hoping I didn't just make the biggest mistake of my life.

Chapter Sixteen

Luke

I didn't see anyone else at the reception. In fact, I was pretty sure Baker tried to slow me down when I left the house, but I wouldn't be stopped. I couldn't. Not until I gained control of my anger. I was still shaking with rage when I reached my apartment. I tossed my keys on the coffee table by the couch and watched them slide all the way across the table and smash against the floor. I ignored them where they lay against the carpet and made my way to the fridge.

I popped open a beer and downed half of it in one long gulp. I wiped my mouth and stared at the beer. Just a week ago, Mallory had called me a nothing, just like the men in my family before me. Was she right? I dumped the rest of the beer out in the sink, refusing to be like my father. Or grandfather. Or any other man in my family who chose the bottle over living a fulfilling life. I knew I didn't want to be like them.

But that didn't mean I was okay with the situation. I put my palms on the edge of the counter, holding on while I took several deep breaths. A knock at my door had me dreading answering it. I walked over and pulled it open. Gabby stood there in black, her makeup just slightly smeared.

"Hey, Luke," she said.

She walked into my apartment before I could protest, although I don't know that it would have done any good. She was a stubborn one, at least as mule-headed as Mallory.

I tried not to sound annoyed. "What's up, Gabby?"

"What's up is you left Mallory in her time of need," she said with a glare.

She even had the audacity to put her hands on her hips as she gave me the stink eye. Another calming breath was necessary before I answered her, although it didn't help much.

"What's up is Mallory threw me to the curb. _Again._ And before we even got started. Don't blame that on me," I seethed in anger.

Her confused expression let me know she hadn't taken the time to get the full story.

"You just assumed I left her? You've known me for years, Gab—do you really think I would do that to her?"

"I—I'm confused, Luke. She told me the two of you were done, and I just assumed since you'd left in such a rush that you pushed her away," she admitted. "But I guess that's not how it went down."

I sighed. "Not even close. Mallory held my hand and let me comfort her at the funeral service, all while she planned on ripping my heart out _again._ I was an idiot to think she would want to stay in Casper, especially for me."

I felt like such a girl for being so honest, but I loved Mallory. Losing her wasn't exactly something I was prepared for a second time around.

"I thought..." she trailed off, stunned by what I told her. "I guess I was wrong."

Damn right she was wrong. She didn't have any idea what today had done to me. First, I had to deal with losing a dear friend and father figure, and then I had to mourn the idea of Mallory and me as a couple. I wanted to shout with anger, but I simply looked at Gabby.

"Oh, Luke, I am so sorry!"

She took two steps and threw her arms around my neck. She'd been one of very few women I'd become friends with over the years. We were as close as brother and sister.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and squeezed. We stayed like that for a full minute. It was in that position, with our arms entangled in a friendly hug, in which Wolfe and Baker found us.

"Son of a bitch!" Wolfe roared from my front door, which was still open.

Gabby and I pulled apart and just in time for Wolfe to tackle me. We slammed into the floor and then rolled a bit. He got in several good punches before I managed to hold his wrists so he couldn't beat my face anymore. I wasn't much of a fighter, but I could hold my own. I also knew why Wolfe was so upset.

I looked up and found Baker and Gabby standing there, side by side, staring in shock at the two of us. I waited for them to blink before I spoke.

"A little help?" I asked.

They both snapped out of it and held on to Wolfe's wrists while I got up.

"Wolfe, there's nothing going on between me and Gabby," I insisted.

Gabby's eyes grew wide and she let go of one of Wolfe's arms to cover her mouth. He formed a fist with the other and knocked Baker in the cheek. Wolfe was on his feet in a second, coming after me again. I was ready for him, though. When he brought his fist toward me, I blocked him and then slammed a fist into his stomach. He bent at the waist reflexively and I grabbed his left hand. I pulled it behind his back. Baker was right there to grab his other hand and together, we secured him. Baker held on to both his hands while I went around to face him.

"There aren't many people I let punch me, Wolfe. Especially not more than once. But regardless of what you think, Gabby and I are, and always will be, just friends. She came to lecture me about Mallory, actually," I explained.

Wolfe's wild eyes started to calm, the fight slowly going out of him. I could understand his predicament. He was still in love with his wife. He wanted her back, so the thought of any other man making a move had him furious. I could, unfortunately, relate to the sentiment.

"Wolfe, what the hell are you doing? Luke and I are only friends, just like he said," Gabby said, reinforcing my words.

I worried she might be the one to start throwing punches next. And since Wolfe was the one her anger was directed at, I guessed it would be him. When she took a step toward him, I moved between them.

"Easy, Gabby. Everyone makes mistakes. Let's give Wolfe a break," I suggested.

She didn't like what I had to say, but she met my eyes and gave me the slightest inclination of her head. She agreed. _For now._ I didn't want to be present when they had their next battle.

Baker let go of Wolfe's hands and Wolfe rubbed his wrists. "I'm sorry, Luke. I guess I overreacted," he confessed. He thrust his hand my way and I shook it. He looked at Gabby. "I'm sorry," he said to her. He didn't elaborate, but I figured his apology was for more than just his misconduct today.

Again, Gabby didn't reply; she gave him a quick nod. She looked back at me.

"What are you going to do about Mallory?"

"Is there anything I _can_ do? She's a grown woman with a stubborn streak. I don't want to lose her, but I don't want to try to win her back and make things worse, either," I said.

"I wouldn't suggest talking to her right away. Give her some space, Luke. She has feelings for you, whether she admits it or not," Gabby told me. "Don't give up on her, though."

"I promise I won't."

She looked at Wolfe and Baker. "I'll just get out of here. I wouldn't want to intrude on guy time. Plus, Mallory and Rainey are probably wondering where I am," she mumbled, avoiding eye contact with Wolfe. "See you guys later."

Baker and I said our goodbyes but Wolfe remained silent until after she left. Once the door closed, he released a breath I guessed he'd been holding for a while.

"She is something else," he muttered.

"She's hot," Baker commented. "Even in high school she was a hottie. When's your divorce final, Wolfe? I want to ask her out."

Wolfe's eyes flashed again until I laughed.

"You wouldn't have a chance with Gabby. She's way too sophisticated for you, Baker. I'm still trying to figure out what Rainey ever saw in you," I laughed. Wolfe chuckled as he realized we were kidding. Baker was always good for a laugh.

Baker winked. "Oh, you mean what she _still_ sees in me?"

"What? When did that happen?" Wolfe asked. "I figured she would be smart enough to stay away from you after the horror stories I heard about the first time around."

Baker glared but he explained. "She said that she's here for a week and we can be friends with benefits while she's home. She's probably going to come home for the summer, too, so I guess we will be spending a lot of time together."

"But what made her decide to be with _you_?" I asked.

"Har-har. Very funny. I am actually a really great guy. I make the ladies laugh," he said, boasting.

"Yeah, when you take your pants off." Wolfe rolled his eyes.

I laughed aloud.

"I guess she decided she wanted to get me out of my pants again. So we're kind of dating, but not really. It's a perfect relationship. She doesn't want anything more than the summer." He smiled.

I was happy for him. I was. But I was so far from a perfect relationship with Mallory that my jealousy formed a fireball in the pit of my stomach. Why did their connection have to be easy when I fought every day to get close to Mallory? I pushed down the jealous part of me and focused on being happy for them.

"Congrats, man, that's great." I hoped I didn't sound too lame.

"Yeah, you're living the dream! A relationship with a woman that doesn't get emotional or needy. Good for you," Wolfe said. "Who wants a beer?" He made his way to my fridge. He pulled three cans out, but I waved him off.

"I'm good," I said.

He shrugged and tossed one to Baker. I grabbed a bottle of water while they sat in my living room. I joined them a minute later.

"I see you haven't made much progress with Gabby," Baker said to Wolfe.

"No, not really. She refuses to talk to me until we go before the judge again. It's like she's afraid having any kind of conversation with me at all will make her fall back in love with me. But she's never mean—she is the epitome of being civil. I don't know how to get her to change her mind about me."

"Get her to sleep with you," Baker suggested. At our questioning looks, he grinned sheepishly. "Seriously. She will feel emotionally tied to you again after she sleeps with you. It's how all women work."

"Okay, first of all, when did you become knowledgeable about women? And second, if you truly believe what you say, why is Rainey immune?" Wolfe asked him.

Baker looked truly worried as he considered Wolfe's words. He remained silent.

I shook my head at the two of them. "Can we talk about Mallory yet?"

"Sheesh, what a girl you are," Baker teased.

Wolfe laughed.

"Yeah, well, it's not like I'm getting anywhere with her," I mumbled.

"Did you sleep with her?" Wolfe asked.

I didn't answer but the look I gave them told them the truth.

"Way to go!" Baker raised his hand for a high five. I glared at him and his hand went down. "So,you're already on the path of making her emotionally attached."

"I don't understand you, Baker. Why would you give advice about getting a woman emotionally attached when you clearly have no intentions of evoking an attachment in your own relationship?" I asked him.

"Women are supposed to fall in love with us. It's the way of the world," he said with authority.

"So women are supposed to fall in love with us and we're supposed to, what? Toss them aside?" Wolfe asked.

Baker flashed a grin. "Exactly."

"No way. I only want one woman. I agreed to be her husband forever and I will be. I just have to figure out how to make her mine again," Wolfe said, more to himself than to us.

"Sex. I'm telling you," Baker started.

"Shut up, Baker," Wolfe and I said at the same time, which caused another round of laughter.

We spent the rest of the day discussing our women troubles, since we were all in the same boat. The only difference was that Baker was the only one happy in his boat. I envied him.

Chapter Seventeen

Mallory

After the service reception, I didn't see Luke. It wasn't on purpose, though I'm sure I would have tried if I had been capable of leaving the house. But I wasn't. I sat in the house for five days. Rainey and Gabby visited me every day, but even their visits were fewer and fewer, as they couldn't stand to be around me.

I knew I wasn't fit for company, but I also knew they worried about me doing something stupid. And although I would never admit it aloud, I had thought about that something stupid. Just end it and be rid of the pain of losing my dad. But in the end, I was a coward. I didn't have the guts to make it happen. Rainey called the doctor for me and he made a house call. He tried to engage me in conversation, but it just didn't happen. I was inconsolable.

Dad's death had turned me into this hollow shell of a woman. I couldn't feel, couldn't express emotion—I was numb. The worst part was, I could see myself the way everyone else did—the depression, the denial—but I wasn't just mourning the death of my father. I'd repeated history and given up on Luke. I knew we could easily start a life here in Casper and be happy.

But why did I have to be the one to sacrifice what I wanted? Why was it my fault he didn't want to move to the city? And so, I mourned our relationship alongside the death of my father. Even Dad had thought Luke and I were meant to be. And for a while, so did I. But we weren't.

It was the day of the reading of Dad's will. I would be driving back to Boston tomorrow morning. I'd managed to call my roommates and beg them to give me my room back. They agreed and said they hadn't even found someone to replace me yet. My job was a little more difficult, but after pulling some strings, my boss managed to get me a position at least somewhat similar to the one I'd had.

I was set. I packed my duffel, leaving out an outfit for me to wear tomorrow on the drive back to the city, and loaded it into the car. I drove to the lawyer's office and met Luke in the lobby. He looked amazing in jeans and a polo shirt paired with work boots. It was as close to dressing up as he got. I smiled at him, but it was a sad smile. It was a goodbye smile.

"Mallory," he said in greeting.

He tipped his head at me and the receptionist looked up.

"Miss Wells. Now that you're here, we can do the reading," she said as she led us into a small conference room. "Mr. Jamison will be right in."

I sat in the chair farthest from the door and Luke took the one next to me. The only other chair was the single one across the table, which was obviously designated for the lawyer. I kept my eyes straight ahead and my mouth shut. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him turn to me and open and close his mouth several times. He couldn't seem to find the right words. We were both saved when the lawyer came in and sat in front of us.

"Miss Wells, Mr. Bates. I'm so glad you could meet me today. Mallory, I believe your father explained the distribution of his estate." He looked at me.

"Yes, sir, he did. I would like to put the house up for sale immediately," I explained.

"Of course. I will put you in contact with a real estate agent as soon as possible. Mr. Bates, did Mr. Wells explain what he was bequeathing to you?" Jamison glanced at Luke. When Luke shook his head, Jamison continued. "Mr. Wells is leaving you his lake house in Greenville—"

"What? He's leaving me the lake house? Did you know about this?"

He gave me a furious look. I nodded.

He was speechless. His mouth opened and closed repeatedly again as he searched for the right words. I would have smiled at the comical expression on his face if I wasn't so afraid of feeling anything at all for him. He finally turned back to the lawyer.

"Is that all?" he whispered as if he was afraid of the answer.

"No, sir. Mr. Wells is also leaving you ten thousand dollars cash. It won't be payable until the life insurance company pays Mallory, but the money is set aside for you," Jamison said.

Luke looked like he was going to be sick. But he didn't say anything. "There's only one other thing Joe asked me to give each of you," he said as he pulled two envelopes from the file folder on the desk. He handed one to each of us.

"What's this?" Luke asked.

"Joe wrote a letter to the two of you and he wanted them given to you upon his death. He only gave them to me the week before he died, so I think they are his final goodbyes," Jamison said.

"Thank you, Mr. Jamison."

I shook his hand and left the room. I would not break down in front of Luke. I walked slowly out of the office to my car. Luke didn't follow me out right away. I sat in my car, holding the letter—Dad's last words from the grave. I gulped. I sat in my car, afraid to open the letter. I was afraid that whatever he'd written to me would change my mind about moving back to Boston. I wasn't prepared for that, but I had to know what he had to say. I ripped open the envelope and pulled out his hand-written letter.

My dear Mallory Anne,

Never was a father more proud of his daughter than I am of you. You have grown into an amazing woman, a strong, successful, and stubborn woman. That's what I love about you. And since you're reading this after my death, I get the last word. For once.

You cannot run away from your life. I learned that the hard way with your mother and trust me, you don't want to learn it the hard way. By now, I figured you're all set to move back to Boston. Bags are packed, car loaded up? You're nothing if not predictable, baby girl. But this isn't about me telling you not to go.

This letter is to let you know how much I love you and that no matter what choice you make, I will always love you. I will always be proud of you. No woman has ever brought as much light into my life as you. And someday, you'll bring that precious light into another man's life. I'm not saying it will be Luke, or even that it should be, but I am asking you for only one thing...

Trust your heart.

All my love, Dad.

I managed to drive home after the tears settled and I wasn't surprised one bit to find Rainey and Gabby waiting for me. They were already comfortable in the house with a cup of coffee from Irene, who had moved in, temporarily. I wanted to give her the house, but she refused when I discussed it with her. She said she would stay until it sold so that it stayed clean and I didn't have to deal with showing it to interested people. She said she would take care of everything. I had no doubt that she would.

"Mallory, how did it go?" Rainey asked me the second I walked through the door.

She didn't look like she expected an answer, though, and I guessed that was my fault. I hadn't spoken much to them the last few days. But now that I was resolved to go back to Boston, I was a bit more talkative.

"About as I expected. Dad and I discussed the distribution of his estate before he passed. I wasn't surprised by the meeting," I told her.

I didn't mention my shock at having a letter given to me following Dad's death. Or the contents of that letter. Rainey and Gabby both looked shocked to hear me reply in full sentences. They were used to one-word answers from me all week.

"I'm glad to hear it," Irene said from the kitchen.

She never missed a beat. After a few minutes, the shock wore off and my friends were able to actually have a conversation with me. I sat in my favorite chair and Irene brought me a cup of coffee.

"So what's next?" Gabby asked.

"Well, I'm going to put the house up for sale and move back to Boston in the morning," I explained. Gabby's eyes widened but Rainey looked away. "I know it's sudden, but I need to get back to my life."

"Of course," Rainey said.

She still wouldn't look at me and I got the impression she was fighting tears. I still hadn't figured out what was wrong with her—she'd been edgy and nerved up since her return home.

"Rainey, don't do this," I begged.

She was going to make a scene and I didn't need more guilt. Dad's letter hadn't changed my mind about my decision, either. The fact that I was so predictable probably meant I was on the right track. I needed to get away.

"Don't do what, Mal? Don't care that you're leaving, and we only just got you back? Because I can't do it. I _care._ I want you to stay," she whispered.

She finally looked at me and I saw the tears welling in her eyes. I took a steadying breath.

"I know, Rain, I know. But this hasn't exactly been easy for me. Dealing with my dad and Luke and then Dad's death. It's been a rough couple of weeks," I protested. I had good reasons to leave. I needed her to understand them.

"Oh yeah, so rough. You got to spend the last few days with your dad and have a conversation with him. Mine died in a car accident three weeks after I moved to LA. No goodbyes there. The man who loves you only wants you to be happy, even if it's not with him, you poor thing. Run away to Boston, Mallory. Just like you did after high school," she sneered, and tore out of the house with Gabby chasing her.

I sat there, stunned. When she put it in black and white like that, the right choice seemed obvious. But this wasn't a black-and-white situation. There were so many variables and I actually wasn't sure I was making the right choice. But I had to make a choice, right or wrong. No matter which choice I made, there were going to be people in my life who weren't happy with my decision.

Her pain cut to my heart. She must feel like I was leaving _her_ instead of this town and Luke. It was true, even though I didn't want to see it. I was leaving her, Gabby, all my small-town friends, and the people who had rallied around me after my dad's death. I was the one turning my back on them.

Gabby came back into the house a few minutes after Rainey drove away. She sat across from me and looked into my eyes. I felt no judgment from her, though.

"What are you doing, Mal?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why _are_ you running away? Everyone knows you're going through a lot right now. Why not take the summer, like you planned, and then decide what you're going to do? You can make an informed decision," she said.

"I _am_ informed," I protested. The longer I stayed here, the more I was afraid I would want to stay. I didn't _want_ to want to stay. Which meant I needed to get away. Now.

"No, you're not. There are things you don't understand about Luke. About Rainey. There are things going on that you just don't know about," she said.

I sat forward and rested my elbows on my knees. "Then tell me. Tell me what's going on with Rainey," I pleaded. I _knew_ there was something going on.

"It's not my place," she whispered with a sigh. "Rainey will tell you when she's ready. Luke—I should think his issues are obvious. But apparently not, so I will point it out. He's in love with you, Mallory. Not like he was when you guys were kids. Though I'm not sure he ever really got over you back then. But since you've been back, he's fallen for you all over again."

I sat back in the chair with a gasp. It was a knee jerk reaction. I'd been told by so many people that Luke still had feelings for me, but I never imagined he was _in love_ with me. It didn't seem possible. He was too stubborn to fall back in love with me. But I knew I was wrong. I'd fallen for him all over again in the past few weeks. It made sense he'd fallen for me too.

Chapter Eighteen

Luke

I didn't want to go out with the guys to The Landing, but they insisted. After the week I had, I needed to unwind so I let them drag me to the only bar in town and prepared to get drunk. Baker drove, though he assured me he would be drinking, and Rainey had told him she could be our designated driver. I felt at least a little safer.

It was still Friday, and I'd only learned of what Joe left me in his will earlier that day. The Landing was packed when we showed up at half past nine. Wolfe paid our cover and we found a table near the band. It was loud so conversation was nearly impossible. It worked for me, though. I didn't want to discuss the events of the day, or hell, even the week. I just wanted to forget.

Rainey and Gabby joined us at the table shortly after we got there. Almost immediately, Baker asked Rainey to dance and they left me alone with Gabby and Wolfe. It was beyond awkward. They wouldn't even acknowledge each other. When Mallory walked in, beer burst out of my mouth onto the table. She walked right up to the table as if she wasn't breaking my heart and said something in Gabby's ear. Gabby nodded and then Mallory asked Wolfe to dance before she even ordered a beer. Wolfe looked nervously at me and I gave him a nod.

Mallory was a free woman without attachments. She'd made that perfectly clear. So it didn't bother me one bit when Wolfe twirled her on the dance floor and she gave him a huge smile. Nope, not one bit.

_Oh, who was I kidding_? I was more jealous than I'd ever been in my life and she had an unfair advantage, since she wasn't the one in love. I took another swig of my beer and glanced at Gabby. She was watching them too. I thought she looked annoyed, but when she caught me looking at her, she grinned.

"Want to dance?" she shouted above the heavy bump of the bass. I nodded and held out my hand to her. It was completely platonic, since she was technically still married, and Wolfe was quickly becoming a good friend. Not to mention his left hook was dangerous. I rubbed my jaw subconsciously. There weren't any bruises, but it was still sore.

I spun Gabby around and the beat thumped around us. Near the end of the song, Gabby stepped away to dance with Baker and Wolfe grabbed Rainey's hand. With them paired off, I looked at Mallory. She seemed to have an inner battle before she reluctantly took my hand. Almost immediately, the music slowed and changed to a romantic love song. It was an older song, too. I recognized it as the song Mallory and I had claimed as ours when we were young. I pulled her close, but I looked over her head to where our "friends" danced a few feet away. It was all just some scheme on their part.

But I wasn't going to be the one to back down. I looked at Mallory and she moved closer to me so that our slow dance wasn't like a junior high dance with several feet between us. Her amazing scent, berries and vanilla, flooded my senses. Lust hit me like a brick wall. I shifted back as discretely as I could so she wouldn't notice. I gulped and vowed I wouldn't breathe for the rest of the dance, even if it killed me.

She was dressed to kill in that short jean skirt and a white T-shirt with the sleeves rolled. Her blonde hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail and the long tresses hung down her back. Her makeup was dark, much darker than I'd seen her wear before. Her mascara thick on her long eyelashes and her lips were painted pink and then glossed over. I resisted the urge to kiss those perfect pink lips.

She stared up at me with her bright blue eyes and it took everything within me not to kidnap her until she fell back in love with me. I could use sex to do it, just as Baker had suggested. But she wouldn't be happy. The city life made her happy, and I didn't want to intrude on that life. I didn't want to bring her down.

We danced through the song but didn't speak. Our bodies moved in unison, we'd danced to this song so many times. Even though it wasn't a super slow song, it described our relationship to a T. The lyrics were all about finding a reason to be a better person, a reason to change. I sang the words aloud as we danced our final goodbye. She was moving on with her life and I was going to change.

It wasn't that I was going to become someone different, I just suddenly wanted something more. I didn't know what, but I knew it would come to me. In the meantime, I enjoyed the dance with Mallory. When the song ended, we separated, and I went back to the table. Another fast-paced song fired up and the girls all opted to remain on the dance floor while Baker and Wolfe made their way back to where I sat.

"Sorry, man," Baker yelled to me after he sipped his beer. "They put us up to it."

"Yeah, it was Rainey and Gabby's idea, Luke. They insisted," Wolfe piped up. "We couldn't say no."

"You mean you couldn't say no to your wife. What a sally you turned out to be." Baker laughed. "Remind me to come to divorce court with you so I can watch as she takes half your stuff and then some. That way I'll be able to tell how she does it, so I don't make the same mistake with Rainey."

"Low blow, Baker. Especially coming from a man who's been shut off," Wolfe replied. "I hear Rainey hasn't been giving it up since the first night she slept with you."

I looked at Baker in surprise. He brushed it off.

"We realized we were going too fast and decided to slow it down," he muttered. He swilled his beer and I saw his eyes flash.

"Yeah, slow down by stopping completely. I heard that," Wolfe raised his bottle. I tapped mine against his just to irritate Baker and we laughed.

Half an hour later, the ladies rejoined our group and I noticed Mallory chose a seat between Gabby and Wolfe. She was avoiding me. I didn't quite know what to make of it. We were over, shouldn't she at least not want to be around me anymore? Shouldn't she scream at me and demand I leave her friends?

But she acted so comfortable, as if my presence didn't bother her at all. She didn't try to make me jealous, either, which I figured would have been her number one priority. She should want to never see me again. It was so confusing.

Across the bar, Carrie caught my eye and waved me over. I excused myself from the group, where the conversation had turned to Rainey and Baker's "relationship." Definitely not a conversation I wanted to have. _Again._

I walked over to Carrie, who sat at the far end of the bar where the music was low enough to invite conversation.

"Hey, Luke," she greeted. She patted the barstool beside her, and I sat.

"Hi, Carrie. How have you been?" I asked politely.

"Oh, the same. I just wanted to check in with you and make sure you're doing okay. I know Joe meant a lot to you. I tried to talk to you at the funeral reception, but you acted like you didn't hear me and then you drove off in a huff. I figured I would run into you eventually. Small town and all," she laughed. It was obvious she'd had more than a few drinks.

"Yeah, I was a little upset," I told her. She leaned toward me and put a hand on my thigh.

"You know, Luke, I miss you. _A lot_ ," she squeezed. I gulped, certain I couldn't go through this again. Breaking up with her had been hard enough the first time. I didn't want to do it again. I almost laughed aloud when I realized I could have been thinking about Carrie or Mallory. That was my life—one big comic show. I pushed her hand away.

"No, Carrie, we aren't doing this. Have a nice night," I got up from the stool and walked away before she could reply. When I arrived back at our table, Mallory was nowhere to be found. Rainey and Gabby glared at me.

"What?" I asked.

"We saw you hitting on Carrie," Gabby pouted. Were they insane? Carrie came on to me. And I pushed her away. I wasn't about to get involved with anyone else. At least, not right now.

"Where's Mallory?" I asked. It all suddenly clicked in my head.

"She took off," Rainey said. "She said she was going to walk home." Walk? It was after eleven at night and she lived several miles from the bar. I sighed.

I was never going to understand women.

Chapter Nineteen

Mallory

My brain wasn't functioning properly. It couldn't be. At least, that's what I told myself to reason why I had left a crowded bar and gone out into the night alone. It was a stupid, childish thing to do, but now that I'd done it, I sure as hell wasn't turning around to watch Luke maneuver some other woman. Especially Carrie. It was bad enough I had been jealous enough, and drunk enough, the first time she was brought to my attention to try to break them up.

Now that I had slept with Luke again, I didn't even want to think about the dumb things I would do if I knew they were back together. It tore my heart to pieces. As I walked the sidewalk through town, I thought about the past I shared with Luke.

It was my sixteenth birthday. Long after the surprise party Dad and Luke threw for me, I lay on my bed exhausted while Luke thumbed through my loot.

"Do you know how much money you got? There has to be at least five hundred dollars here," he said with a sigh. While money had never been a problem for Dad, we weren't exactly rich, either. I had my own savings account with two grand in it that no one, not even Luke, knew about. I planned on using the money when I moved to Boston.

My plan, for as long as I could remember, had been to escape the lame small-town life in order to get a better education, better job, and ultimately, better life than Casper could offer me. I included Luke in my plan to move, since he insisted on putting off college until I graduated high school so we could go together. I hadn't asked him to do that—he simply wanted to be with me.

"Yeah, people are generous," I brushed off his obsession with money. That was part of the reason I didn't tell him about my stash. It wasn't that I didn't trust him; he would just want to use it for something local, like buying a car or investing in our future. And while those weren't bad ideas, my money was my escape fund. It was my way out.

"Generous? Hell, I wish I knew so many generous people," he muttered. Luke had grown up on the poorer side of life. His deadbeat father had done little to support him and his mother, and then when she passed away, Luke had been more or less on his own. He had worked nearly full time all through high school while maintaining a decent enough grade point average to be considered for several colleges. But he'd pushed college off. For me.

"Luke, we should talk about college," I said from my spot on my bed. I sat up and crossed my legs Indian-style. He turned to look at me and sat in the ratty old chair at my desk.

"What's up?" he asked.

"I want to go to college in Boston," I explained. He didn't even blink.

"Then that's where we'll go," he answered. He moved over to the bed and took my hands in his. "I want to be where you are, Mallory. Always."

I fought the memory as it flooded my mind. I had been so sure we could survive anything at that point. We were so in love. But his mind had changed. He had chosen to stay while I had gone. If I had known then about my father's cancer, I would have stayed, though. Or, at least, that's what I told myself. But Luke had known and chosen not to tell me. He'd let me go instead of keeping his promise to always be where I was.

"Mallory! Wait up," a deep voice called from somewhere behind me. I half turned toward the voice, but I knew it was Luke before I saw him. I stared at him for a moment before I decided to cross the street. I was leaving in the morning. The more distance between us, both physically and emotionally, the better. I jogged through the crosswalk and begin my ascent up the big hill in town toward one of the stoplights. I heard his shoes behind me against the pavement and I willed him away. Just as I passed the local bookshop and café, he caught up with me.

"What the hell, Mal?" he said as he stood in front of me to block my path. I stopped and stared at him. "Why did you leave?"

"Seriously, you have to ask?" I replied. I rolled my eyes and made to move around him. Was he really that dense?

"Mallory, please–"

"No, Luke, I'm not doing this. I can't watch you move on while I'm still stuck in a place where I am pretty sure I'm in love with you. And all the while, you get to go back to the bachelor life and hit on Carrie or any other woman. I can't do it," I whispered. His eyes widened at my words, but he didn't say anything. I stepped closer to him. "I want you to want to be where I am."

I quoted his words from so long ago and wondered if he would even remember. I doubted it. Men were dense. I tried to step around him again and he let me. He didn't speak, but he followed me up the hill. I assumed it was for some sort of protection, but when Rainey appeared at the corner in her minivan, I jumped in the front seat and told her to drive. She didn't question me.

Luke stared after us; I watched him in the side-view mirror. He didn't move the entire time I watched him. He looked frozen in place. My heart constricted uncontrollably, and I fought back tears. It was probably the last time I would see him. I tried not to think about him.

I only had a few drinks, but I knew better than to get behind the wheel. Rainey, on the other hand, hadn't had a single drink all night.

"What's with you, Rainey?" I asked to distract myself from thoughts of Luke.

"Nothing. Why?" She sounded nervous. I didn't want to push it. She would tell me when she was ready, just like Gabby had suggested. It hurt that she had confessed her secret to Gabby before me, but I pushed the pain away, much as I had done with all the other pain in my life.

"Never mind," I muttered. I was leaving in the morning. It was probably better I didn't know what was going on with her anyway. I stared out the window as she drove me home. The town passed with silent quickness and then we were on the back road that led to my house.

The small ranch was in need of some repairs, but now that it was for sale, I wouldn't have to worry about it. The buyer would have to see to those repairs, and I would have to mourn the loss of my childhood home. _Alone._ Always alone. Dad had made sure I could stand the loneliness, though—he'd sent me to Boston without a second thought. He didn't want me to rely on him or Luke, or anyone. And I didn't. I was perfectly fine alone. Or so I told myself. But the people in my life kept leaving, which meant I had to accept the loneliness.

Even though I was the one leaving Luke, he didn't make much of an effort to convince me to stay. But that wasn't what I wanted. Not really. I wanted him to be willing to make sacrifices for me, the way I'd sacrificed my city life to come home for my dad. That was love. But I knew it was impossible. Rainey pulled into my driveway and I got out.

"Thanks for the ride, Rain," I said. I was about to close the door when she stopped me.

"Mallory? I know I need to tell you, but I don't know how," she whispered. I sat back in the minivan and grabbed her hand.

"You don't have to tell me anything, Rainey. I know you're going through some stuff, and although I don't know what it is, I want you to know that I will always be here for you. You're my best friend," I said. She wrapped her arms around me, and we hugged. She had a hard time letting go, as did I.

"I'm going to be in Boston on Tuesday, for, umm, a business meeting. Can you do lunch?" she asked. She wasn't telling me the truth, but I let it slide.

"Of course. I would be happy to," I assured her. "Call me when you're in the city and we'll meet up."

She smiled happily and I wondered if she would finally tell me what the hell was going on with her at our lunch. I doubted it.

The following morning, I was all ready to go. Gabby came by around seven to see me off. Irene was at the house already, since she had moved in. They both cried when we said our goodbyes. I hugged them both fiercely as the small town and these amazing people tugged on my heart. I wanted to stay. It wasn't a revelation, but rather a knowledge deep in my soul that I was meant to be here.

But I wasn't going to stay and watch Luke date other women. So even though I knew I should unpack all my things, I would get into my car and drive away from the life that _could_ have been mine. The life I should have lived, in another, more innocent life.

Rainey didn't show up, but I hadn't expected her to—we'd said our goodbye last night. And I would see her in just a few days in Boston. Baker and Wolfe pulled into the drive just as I was about to get in my car. I smiled when I saw them. I noticed Gabby seemed irritated to see Wolfe, but she didn't protest. These men had become my friends in the short time I'd been home.

"You didn't think we were going to let you leave without a proper goodbye, did you?" Baker asked. He slammed the door of his truck and wrapped me in a bear hug, lifting me off the ground. I laughed as he twirled me around. It reminded me of my first night home at The Landing. I felt the tears well up again, but I managed to tamp them down.

"I'm going to miss you," I said into his ear. I squeezed his neck and he put me down.

"You wouldn't have to miss me, you know, if you stayed. I could annoy you all the time, then," he promised.

"Oh, _that_ would be something," I murmured. He was right, though—I didn't have to miss any of them. I could stay right where I was. But I wouldn't back down. I would not make sacrifices for Luke if he wasn't at least willing to sacrifice something for me. I knew it was childish, but I needed to know he would put forth the effort.

"Have a safe trip," Wolfe said. He hugged me loosely and I put my arms around his waist. I gulped down my tears and managed to pull away from him without bursting into tears. I smiled up at him then turned to the group.

"Thanks, guys. Time to get on the road," I said. Luke didn't show up. I hadn't expected him to and yet when I pulled out of the driveway, I felt like he should have. I growled at myself. I needed to stop this ridiculous attachment to him. I hit a button on my iPod and my favorite Pistol Annies song blasted through the speakers.

I screamed the lyrics along with the song as I let the tears flow.

Chapter Twenty

Luke

Mallory was gone for three full days before I lost it. I drove out to The Landing at noon and spent six hours there, drinking my pain away. When Baker and Wolfe showed up after work to try to get me to go home, I tried to fight them. Luckily for me, I wasn't able to do more than just stagger around the bar.

"Let's get you home," Wolfe said as he and Baker each grabbed one of my arms. I didn't want to go home, but I knew I needed to get out of this bar.

In Baker's truck, I sat in the passenger seat with my head almost completely out of the window, just in case. I hadn't thrown up from drinking in several years, but the way I felt, I knew it was a definite possibility. Behind us, Wolfe followed along behind the truck. When we got to my apartment, they had to more or less carry me up the stairs. They deposited me into the bathroom.

"Throw up, take a shower, do whatever you have to do to get yourself cleaned up," Baker demanded in a harsh voice. He'd never been serious a day in his life, but here he was, firm and even fatherly. Rainey must have rubbed off on him. I groaned when I wondered what Rainey and Gabby would have to say about this. Fortunately for me, Rainey was getting ready to visit Mallory in Boston and Gabby was busy helping Irene get the Wells' house ready for the sale.

The door slammed behind Baker and I was left alone with my thoughts. I thought I might feel better if I purged, so I leaned over the toilet and let go. Several minutes later, my head cleared a little and I was able to start the shower. The steamy water refreshed me even more. When I stepped from the shower, I felt like that afternoon was some long-ago dream. Or nightmare. But I was reminded of exactly what I'd done when I stepped out of the bathroom and into my living room. I had thrown on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt I had hanging on the back of the door in the bathroom. Wolfe and Baker stared me down as I approached them in the kitchen.

Wolfe leaned casually against the counter while Baker stood rigid in the center of my kitchen, arms folded across his chest. I was about to be scolded and I never felt like I deserved it more. Wolfe handed me a bottle of water and a handful of aspirin. I took them gratefully.

"Are you an idiot?" Baker asked me after another minute of silence.

"It would seem so," Wolfe replied for me. He was right, of course. I _was_ an idiot. I never should have let Mallory go back to Boston, never should have started drinking today, and never should have become friends with these two.

"I have my reasons," I mumbled. I swigged more water.

"Reasons for ruining your life? Do tell," Baker insisted.

He wasn't going to back down and I suddenly wished for the days when we would joke nonstop. I wasn't too sure I liked this serious Baker.

"Mallory and I are done. She told me so herself. She doesn't want anything to do with me. I never should have gotten involved with her when she came back. She wasn't looking for some commitment, she only came home to bury her father. I think that much is obvious. And as to my drinking, I know it was stupid. But I couldn't deal with the pain of being left, _again,_ " I explained.

"Alcohol won't numb the pain, Luke. If anything, it worsens it. Trust me, I know," Wolfe said quietly. I looked at him and realized how much he understood exactly how I felt. Mallory and I might not have been married, but we had been so happy. And now all that remained between us was regret and broken promises.

"You're right," I said. "Thank you both for getting me out of there when you did." It was a thanks and apology all rolled into one. They both nodded.

"So, now that you're coherent, what are you going to do about Mallory?" Wolfe asked.

I was confused. "Do? There's nothing to do. She's gone," I said. The words gripped my heart and shred it into a million tiny pieces.

"Only if you let her go. She still has feelings for you, Luke," Baker insisted.

I knew he was right. She'd told me as much the night before she left. _I want you to want to be where I am._ Was she saying she wanted me to come to Boston? To make some romantic gesture to her? I wasn't sure, but I wasn't about to move to Boston, either. I hated the city.

"I know she does. And I am in love with her. But it doesn't matter if we can't work our problems out. There are too many complications," I said.

"You're a coward," Wolfe spat.

"Excuse me?" My head was still a bit cloudy, but he couldn't be talking to me.

"You are. The woman you love wants to be with you, she just doesn't know how. If Gabby asked me to stop the earth so we could be together, I wouldn't stop until I found a way to do it. I would do _anything_ to keep her in my life," Wolfe said, and then emphasized, "Anything."

His words sparked the harsh reality of what I was letting go. Mallory wasn't just a fling for me, she wasn't someone I had a one-night stand with and could easily toss aside. She was _Mallory_. My first love, and really, my only. I'd been with women in our time apart, but none had evoked the emotions in me that she did. None of them completed me, as cliché as that was. I could be myself around her without worrying she would be unimpressed or repulsed. She had been my best friend. And I wasn't ready to let that go. Not without a fight.

"You're right," I said.

"You're damn straight he's right. I'm sick of watching this soap opera of your life, Luke. Mallory is the one, you dumbass. So stop trying to run away from her and get your shit together," Baker scolded.

Again, he was this fatherly figure who knew more than I did and wanted me to make the right decisions. What happened to the guy who only wanted to drink beer and chase tail? Rainey had changed him. I found it astonishing and terrifying.

I begged for an answer. "So what do I do to get her back?" A headache formed in the back of my brain and I knew I would feel it for a while. I rubbed the back of my head to try to ease the pain, but to no avail.

"How much do you love her?" Wolfe asked.

"What?"

Baker glanced at me. "How much are you willing to sacrifice in order to be with her?"

There it was, the word I had been afraid of since she was sixteen and told me she wanted to go to Boston for college: _sacrifice_. The truth was, I hadn't been ready to sacrifice anything back then. I was a stupid kid who thought the girl I loved would follow me anywhere, even if I didn't go anyplace.

"Anything," I breathed. It was true. I wanted nothing more in my life than to be with her. She was like my own personal sun and every breath I took revolved around her. I couldn't stand to be without her any longer.

"Move to Boston."

I blinked at Baker's words. Was that the answer? Would moving to Boston really make her happy? I wasn't so sure.

"But—"

"No buts, Luke. If you want to spend your life with her, then you have to give up your life. Move to Boston, like she asked you to three years ago. Make the ultimate sacrifice for her. She's already lost her dad; she doesn't want to lose you, too. But she doesn't want to be the only one making sacrifices, either," Wolfe said.

It sounded like he knew what he was talking about. I nodded to acknowledge his words, but I didn't speak. I couldn't. Was I capable of giving up my entire life just to be a part of hers? As much as it sounded like the perfect plan, I didn't even know how to begin. My confusion must have been apparent, as Baker gave me his opinion.

"This is how I see it: you move out of this apartment, pack up all your stuff, and show up at her door," he suggested.

For all his claims about _my_ soap opera life, his option seemed too dramatic for me.

"Wait a second," I said as a frightening thought occurred to me. "What if she doesn't actually _want_ to be with me and this plan backfires?"

"Well, I can take over your apartment. I've been looking for something else for a few weeks," Wolfe said. "So, if she still turns you down, you won't really lose anything. But my name will be on the lease instead of yours and so you'll just be staying with me until you find a new place."

"This isn't just some psychotic plan to steal my apartment, is it?"

"Yes, Luke, he's been plotting to steal your apartment while you've been a dumbass," Baker joked. That was the Baker I remembered. He always saw the lighter side of every situation.

I laughed along with them and mentally planned my trip. I would pack that night and leave first thing in the morning.

Chapter Twenty-One

Mallory

Boston was gorgeous. I had only been gone a few weeks, but it was just as stunning as I remembered. The flowers around the city were in bloom and the sun shone brightly as I had lugged my duffel up to my apartment. My roommates were gone for the weekend, but I enjoyed the solitary.

We had an extra-large balcony that had a monumental view of the harbor, and I planted myself in one of the chairs for the entire day. I didn't unpack, I didn't eat or drink—I just soaked in the city. Yet as much as I loved Boston, it wasn't _home_. It wasn't Casper. I missed the small-town life, the two-lane roads, and Luke. I missed Luke most of all, even though it was over between us.

When Rainey called me the following Tuesday, I agreed to meet her at Faneuil Hall for lunch. I was early, but she was already waiting for me by the Christmas Shoppe. It was her favorite store, no matter what town she was in. Casper had a tiny little shop that boasted Christmas year-round, but Rainey was clearly taken with the store.

"Let's go inside," I suggested after I hugged her hello.

Her eyes lit up like a little kid's and she nodded. We started with the top floor and slowly made our way back to the ground floor. We spent nearly an hour in the store, but I wasn't back to work yet, so I didn't have a schedule.

Although my boss had promised I would have a job when I returned, he was still ironing out the details with the higher ups. I guessed they were afraid I would up and leave again. No chance of that happening.

Rainey chose a restaurant styled after a popular 90's TV show and once we were seated, she started in on me.

"Why would you leave us?"

By _us_ , I assumed she meant our little group, including Luke.

"Rain, I know it's hard, but it's harder for me to be in the same town as him, to watch him hit on other women," I explained.

"You have to know Carrie was the one hitting on him, Mal. He would never hit on another woman with you right there."

She sounded exasperated. I smiled at her antics. The waiter took our order and Rainey didn't miss a beat.

She defended him. "Luke is a good guy."

How many times were people going to say that to me? I was sick of hearing about how _good_ he was. I knew. I had first-hand knowledge.

"I know," I replied. "But we just aren't meant to be, Rainey. He wants me to make all the sacrifices. He wants me to move to Casper when I _love_ Boston. This place is my home now."

"No, it's not," she argued. "Casper is home."

She was so adamant there was hardly any room for an argument. I didn't argue. I sipped my water and just stared at her.

"Don't look at me like that," she groaned. "I only want you to really think about what you're giving up in order to not 'sacrifice' for a relationship with Luke. Other than Luke himself, you're abandoning our friendship, again, and your relationships with Gabby, Baker, and Wolfe. They all adore you. You're kind of like the glue that holds our little group together."

"Our group is broken, Rainey. Me and Luke, Gabby and Wolfe. Hell, you are the only one who has something good going for you with Baker," I protested.

"Broken or not, friends stick together. And best friends stick together forever. Can you please stop focusing on the broken promises of your childhood and adolescence? I know your dad made promises he couldn't keep, so did Luke. It's time to grow up and accept that when something is broken, you fix it," she said vehemently. "You don't throw it away."

I glared at the table so I wouldn't look at her and see the truth in her eyes. Not only did she want me to go home to Casper, she wanted me to get back together with Luke and then help fix everyone else's problems.

"It's no use." I sighed. "Luke won't want anything to do with me now. I chose Boston over him. _Again,_ as you put it. History really does repeat itself, doesn't it?" I looked up at her with tear-filled eyes.

"Only if you let it," she whispered.

She wanted to give me hope, I knew. Hope that with some hard work, I really could fix what was broken between me and Luke. But I wasn't so sure. Fear gripped me. What if I made the effort and he refused me? Could I handle that kind of rejection? I wasn't sure.

We avoided the conversation for the remainder of lunch. She filled me in on what was happening at home while I'd been gone. It wasn't much. We struggled for conversation topics that wouldn't lead us back to Luke. Or my dad. I didn't want to discuss either of them.

"So, I think Baker and I might be getting serious," she said out of the blue. I raised my brow at her, and she smiled sheepishly. "I mean, it was supposed to be just a summer fling, but now that I'm moving home more permanently, he wants to make it official that we're dating. He's totally awkward when we talk about it, too."

"Sounds like he's making an effort, though, which is great. I am so happy for you," I declared. I watched her smile fade.

"If only..."

"What's with you, Rain? You have to tell me," I begged. I'd been waiting for weeks to hear what it was that had her not drinking alcohol and having mysterious 'business meetings' in Boston. I deserved to know.

"I can't tell you," she insisted.

"Rainey, if you don't tell me, I will get Gabby on the phone right now and demand she tell me right now," I threatened. From her satisfied grin, I knew she was going to call my bluff.

"Gabby won't tell anyone, Mal. Not even you. Especially not you. She's held on to this secret for two full years," she boasted.

"Then why can't I know?" I whined.

"Mallory, sometimes you have to trust that the people around you know what's best for you, even if you don't understand. Joe pushed you to Boston because he wanted you to have a better life. He didn't tell you about his cancer because he knew you wouldn't have lived your life fully—which is the way you should live. No one should have to spend years watching a parent die," she said quietly.

I knew she was thinking about Luke, how he had watched the only real father figure in his life die. I swallowed a lump in my throat.

"It's not fair, Rainey. What makes Gabby so trustworthy and me not?"

I was a little hysterical over thinking about what was going on with her. I knew she wasn't pregnant, of course, but it didn't make sense why she wouldn't tell me. We were supposed to be best friends. I felt betrayed that she felt close enough to Gabby to tell her, but not to me.

"It's not about trustworthiness, Mallory. It's about being able to handle the information. Gabby is a strong woman and she has dealt with an array of bad things in her life," she said.

I considered this. Gabby's mom had died of breast cancer when Gabby was young. She'd watched a parent die, too. I gulped. Did that automatically make her better at understanding a difficult situation?

"I'm dealing with Dad's death, you know. It's not like I haven't experienced loss, too," I muttered.

"Fine. You want to know? I'll tell you." She sighed and closed her eyes. When she opened them, all I could see in their depths was pain.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Luke

I drove in silence the entire way to Boston. I didn't even turn on the radio. My truck was loaded down with all my stuff—or at least as much as I could fit in it. I couldn't quite believe I was actually doing it. I left behind my friends, my job, what little family I had—all to be with Mallory. She was the one person I couldn't be without, though. She was my lifeline.

When Baker and Wolfe had laid it all on the table for me, my choice had been obvious. Nothing was as important to me as Mallory. She was it. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with anyone but her. Even if it meant she had control of where we lived, or any other life decisions, I would gladly accept whatever she wanted just so I could be with her. It wasn't a matter of being masculine or like a girl, as Baker often accused me—I wanted to be with Mallory, in whatever context and wherever she wanted to be. I was her loyal puppy and I would follow her to the ends of the earth.

Now I just had to convince her of that. We'd both made our fair share of mistakes over the years. I'd been an idiot to let her go. She had given up on our love. We were older now. We should be smart enough to figure it all out. We hadn't been able to, yet, of course, but that was the past. I drove into the city with the knowledge that she would be mine again before the end of the day.

Baker had given me her address and although I was nervous and apprehensive, I parked as close to her building as I could and made my way to her apartment. I raised my fist and knocked, willing my jitters to go away.

A leggy brunette who looked like she belonged on the cover of a magazine answered the door. She looked me up and down and then laughed.

"We didn't order a stripper, cowboy," she said.

I was in jeans and a T-shirt, but I would hardly compare my attire to that of a cowboy. City women were going to be fun to deal with, I noted with a sigh. When she went to close the door, I stuck my foot in the jamb.

"I'm looking for Mallory," I said with a smile. She peered at me with judgmental eyes and I felt as if I was on the chopping block.

"She's not here," she said. To my surprise, she opened the door. "But she's due back soon enough. Come on in." She gestured toward the living room.

"I'm Luke." I introduced myself but didn't offer to shake her hand and she didn't seem to expect it.

"I'm Leila. The redhead on the couch is Sarah," she said as she closed the door behind me.

The apartment was huge. The cathedral ceilings surprised me, as did the architectural design of the place. Given the location and condition of the apartment, I figured the place must cost a fortune.

"Great place," I said to Leila, who was short but dressed to kill in a little black dress and stilettos.

Even with the four-inch heels she barely reached my shoulder. I would have laughed if it wasn't so surreal.

"It's okay. I've seen better in the city. But it works for now," she replied.

I couldn't imagine a better apartment than this. The kitchen alone had to be seven hundred square feet. Gigantic didn't even begin to describe its massive size. I stepped toward the sliding glass doors that led to a large balcony and I was floored.

No wonder Mallory had fallen in love with this city. It was beautiful. And as much as I truly didn't want to live here, I realized, in that moment, I would come to love this city as much as she did. I just had to convince her of that.

"So, Luke, are you the farm boy Mallory thinks she's in love with?" Sarah asked from the couch.

_Farm boy_? I hoped that wasn't how Mallory referred to me.

"I'm not a farm boy, but I am from the small town where she grew up," I answered.

I wasn't sure about the _in-love_ part, either. So I left it at that.

She smiled. "I'm sorry, I just assumed you'd be a good ole boy, you know?" She rose from the couch and came to shake my hand. "Mallory hasn't said much about her hometown boyfriend since she's been back, but I can tell you mean a lot to her."

"It's no problem," I assured her, but hoped she was right. "So, the three of you have been roommates for a long time, huh?"

"Two years here and a year at the dorms. God, _that_ was a mess! Little Mallory was so shy and afraid of her own shadow. You'd think it was the end of the world for her to come to college. While we spent our freshman year sleeping around and getting drunk, Mallory was a model student. She had a perfect GPA and everything. But we took her under our wing, and I think she's better for it," Leila confided.

I had to agree. Mallory wasn't the same girl—she had grown up in so many ways. She was still stubborn as hell, but I was glad about that. It reminded me of the girl she was and the woman she'd become.

"She's been different since she's come home, though," Sarah interjected. "It's like she lost herself when she went back to Maine."

I knew what she meant. Joe was a huge part of both our lives. We were bound to be affected by his death, and more than just emotionally. I felt like a piece of my own heart had been torn away with no way to repair it. Joe was like a dad to me. And Mallory had always been close to him. He was her hero. So I could only imagine the heartbreak she felt at his death.

"Probably has something to do with her father's death," Leila commented. "I don't know why she had to go, though. It wasn't as if she saw him all that often, anyway. Her old man—"

"Don't you talk about Joe that way!" I yelled. "You have no idea who he was or how he sacrificed time and time again in order to raise Mallory the right way. Don't pretend for even a second that you can comprehend how much he meant to her," I seethed.

A small gasp caught my attention. I turned toward the door and watched, stunned, as Mallory covered her mouth with her hands. The door was wide open behind her and I couldn't help but wonder how long she'd been standing there.

"Mallory, I—" She pointed a finger at me in an attempt to tell me to be silent.

I closed my mouth.

"How _dare_ you talk about my father?" She glared at Leila who had the decency to look embarrassed. "You know nothing, _nothing,_ about him. I swear, if I had any good sense at all, I'd knock you out right here."

Leila seemed to think she might do it and took a hasty step back, even though they were ten feet apart. I barely contained my chuckle at Leila's cowardice. She opened her mouth to speak but Mallory interrupted her before she could utter a word.

_"Get out_."

"Come on, Leila, let's go." Sarah tugged on Leila's arm and the two fled the apartment.

I kept my eyes on Mallory, though. She stood in the entryway, emotions raging and adrenaline rushing. The door clicked closed behind her and she finally turned to me.

Her eyes softened and she looked at me with awe. I was the one amazed, though. Mallory was the strongest woman I'd ever met. I took a deep breath before I spoke.

"Mallory," I started.

She took three steps to me and put a finger to my lips. Then she kissed me. I reacted almost violently. My whole body shook with anticipation and my hands buried themselves in her satiny hair. I drank her in like a man dying of thirst. She was so damn sweet, I could hardly stand it. She kissed me like it was the only thing she wanted to do in the world.

I bit her bottom lip and she gasped in pleasure and gave me the opening I desperately needed. I thrust my tongue in her mouth to take absolute possession. I wanted to show her how much I loved her with my actions. Words would come later, but for now, we could feel. Her arms snaked around my neck and she pressed herself against me. It was a glorious feeling.

Even though my body was fully ready to take it to the next level, and I could sense she wanted to, too, the memory of Joe's letter stopped me.

Luke,

This is my final goodbye. Death is a welcome event after these last few years of pain. The chemo was the worst, but I bore it in silence, and I wish now I hadn't. I wish I had shared my cancer with Mallory, as I know she would have made the suffering less sufferable. If that makes sense. But you know Mallory. She would have insisted on being by my side for the duration. And I couldn't have that.

I know you never fully understood my reasons for keeping her in the dark, but it was a personal choice that had more to do with her happiness than mine. When you become a father, you realize what your priorities are, and your child's happiness and success is number one on the list. So I sacrificed for her. But I made a choice I'm not proud of, too. Like leaning on you when you were so young. And you still are! So young and full of life. You have a long life ahead of you.

And if you end up with Mallory, it's going to be a long life indeed. That girl is more stubborn and set in her ways than even I am. Which is saying something. I should be proud that she's like me, though, since I am an all-around great person. Ha-ha.

But there's more to the story than you or she ever knew, Luke. I had cancer several times when Mallory was a child. I always ended up beating it, so when this last bout showed up when she was seventeen, I thought I would again. That's why I didn't tell her right away. I have spent my adult life protecting her from pain and sorrow, and now I am the cause of her greatest pain. I know she's hurting, and she's probably already pushed you away, but I want you to keep the faith.

Mallory is nothing if not predictable. She will realize how much she loves you at some point. It may not be this week, or hell, even this decade! But don't give up on her, son. She loves you. And I know you love her.

It would make me the happiest man alive (figuratively) if, when you decide on forever, you use the enclosed ring. It has been passed down in my family from father to son for generations. I have always considered you my son and I would be honored if you choose to make my daughter your wife.

But no pressure or anything.

Your father,

Joe

I pulled away from Mallory as his words repeated in my head. _Make my daughter your wife. Make my daughter your wife._ The phrase excited and terrified me. I wanted nothing more than to ask her to marry me; the ring was in my pocket. But I couldn't do that to her. Not yet. She was fragile, more so than before Joe's death and doing the wrong thing now could send her running for the hills.

I was going to have to take my time. And that meant we weren't going to let this little make-out session go any further. Not until we had a serious talk about our future. Our immediate one, at least.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Mallory

My brain was still reeling from the ridiculous day. Rainey had finally disclosed her secret and although it surprised me, I promised to be there for her as much as possible. Even being two hundred miles away. I would figure it out. For now, though, I was assured that she was going to be okay and that was enough. It had to be.

Walking into my apartment to find Leila talking about my dad and then Luke defending him— _that_ was more of a shock than Rainey's news. In fact, I had stood in the doorway for a few minutes before I made any noise. Not one of them noticed I was there, but after my gasp, Luke had wanted to comfort me.

I was beyond comforting, though. I was furious. Was Leila really the kind of person I wanted to spend any amount of time with? It was obvious she wasn't as much my friend as I thought. And so I'd kicked her out of the apartment and Sarah with her. I had wanted to believe my roommates cared for me, but it was apparent they didn't. Talk about a downer.

But Luke was there. He was the one person I'd wanted to turn to more than anything after Rainey's disclosure and then after Leila's outburst, I just wanted him to envelop me in his Luke bubble and never let go. And so before he could protest, I kissed him. And oh, what a kiss it was.

His lips were warm and soft, his breath mingled with mine enticingly. I was more in love with him than I'd ever been, and if it took me all night, I would get the courage to tell him so. He was the only one for me. Even if it meant more sacrifices, I would do it so that we could be together.

When he bit my bottom lip, my gasp of surprise turned into a groan of approval as his tongue rubbed against mine. I pulled him closer, so our bodies made contact at every available spot. The result was mind blowing. He had always been a skilled kisser, but he was seducing me with this kiss, and I wanted nothing more than to be seduced.

When he pulled away, I figured he just needed some air. I was out of breath too. But he moved farther away, turned toward the balcony and I was left standing alone with my chest heaving uncontrollably. I was breathless and my brain was goop. I was still trying to catch up when Luke turned back to me.

"What are we doing?" he blurted. He looked surprised by his own words. I guessed he didn't mean to say it aloud.

"We _were_ ," I stressed, "about to go to bed."

I wished it were true. I also wished saying it aloud would change his mind.

"No. We can't. We've been there, Mal. This is... crazy. We've got to talk," he insisted.

I pouted and sucked my lower lip into my mouth, tasting him there. He was the one driving me crazy with that sexy, serious look and a body that got me wet just thinking about it. I needed to end my sexual frustration. But I knew we needed to talk, too.

"So talk," I said with a shrug. I made my way across the living room and sat on the couch. Funny, I didn't remember it being quite so uncomfortable.

"I'm moving to Boston," he said. "I mean, I already have. I'm living here now, damn it."

He looked so cute, all flustered and tongue-tied. It took a second for the meaning of his words to sink in.

"But you hate Boston," I protested.

"But I love _you_ ," he replied. "And if I've learned nothing else from my past mistakes, it's to never let the girl you love leave you. Especially when you have the chance to keep her. Assuming, of course, that I still have a chance. Do I?"

I couldn't answer him. I had only just come to terms with my own love for him, how could it be so easy for him to just announce his own? I was still reeling when he continued his little speech.

"There have been so many mistakes between us, Mal. I never should have let you go three years ago. I don't mean I should have prevented you from going to Boston—I should have accepted what you wanted and went with you. When you came back, I never expected to learn that you didn't even know about Joe. But back to us. I never truly got over you, no matter how much I tried."

He continued. "You were fourteen when we started dating, and although that's young, I knew, even then, that you were the girl for me. There isn't anyone else who can drive me crazy one minute and make me so hard I want to die the next. I've found a reason to change. And it's all you," he said.

I gulped.

"It's you, Mallory. You are the reason for my very existence. Without you, I have nothing. I _am_ nothing."

He paced his words as if saying them physically hurt him. He barred his soul to me, more than he'd ever done in the years we'd known each other.

I was speechless. I knew how much of a risk he was taking. I knew because what he said was exactly how I felt. He verbalized my inner struggle resolutely. My heart beat rapidly with the intensity of his emotions. Guys were usually so reserved and not emotional. But he was letting me in, really letting me in, for the first time, _ever_ , and I couldn't even tell him that I felt the same way.

I was frozen on the couch. My breath caught in my throat and my larynx refused to cooperate with my brain. So I sat there and stared at him, certain that if I didn't say something soon, he would bolt. I swallowed several times in an attempt to speak but to no avail. Silence prevailed. As we sat there in silence, I considered what he was giving up in order to be with me. Everything, for as long as I could remember, revolved around me. Dad spoiled me to no end and Luke continued the tradition when we started dating. What we did was always based on what I wanted to do, never what he wanted. In that instant, it occurred to me that I _was_ the spoiled rotten brat Luke had accused me of being when I first went back to Casper.

I was selfish. The realization cut like a knife, but Luke was here, giving me his heart, sacrificing his life, his wants and desires, so we could be together. It wasn't fair to ask him to do that. It wasn't fair for me to accept that he'd even chosen the sacrifice. None of the sacrifice mattered to him anymore—all that mattered was us being together.

And he was right. That _was_ all that mattered. Everything else would fall into place, one way or another, so long as we were facing our problems together. I agreed wholeheartedly with everything he said, and I mirrored his feelings, but I still struggled to find the right words.

"Mallory, I want you forever," he said.

I could tell he was even more nervous in my silence. What could I say? The words just wouldn't come. So I did the only thing I could to convey my emotions.

I leapt off the couch and into his arms. He caught me and I wrapped my legs around his waist as I slammed my mouth to his. His hands curled under the curve of my ass and he squeezed when I bit his lip the same way he'd done to me. He growled, a low, menacing sound deep in his throat, but I wasn't afraid. I clung tighter to him.

I ran my fingers through his hair and pulled his head closer, our mouths meshing together with passion and love. He held me up and took two steps toward the kitchen and sat me on the counter of the island. My ankles stayed locked behind him to keep him close as his hands came up to cup my face. His eyes were open as we kissed, and I stared into his eyes. It wasn't awkward or weird, either, which was amazing. He pulled away for a second, his tongue trailing along my lip lingeringly.

"I love you," he whispered.

I had been speechless throughout his spiel, unable to tell him how I felt, but now the words came out without hesitation.

"I love you," I said.

He groaned and put his lips back to mine. He forced my lips apart and thrust his tongue inside my mouth with renewed hunger. He gently swept his fingers across the bare skin above my tank top and I shivered. I pulled away from his mouth.

"Make love to me," I demanded.

He didn't react right away. He took his sweet time letting his fingers glide across my skin. He made goose bumps pop up along my arms and he smiled.

"I have never, ever been more turned on by or wanted to make love to a woman so badly." He grinned. "But we still need to talk."

"Mmm. Talk later, sex now," I said as I pressed my lips persuasively back to his.

He laughed and I groaned in frustration when he pulled away.

"Mallory, sex doesn't solve problems. Conversation does," he said.

I noticed his eyes kept falling to my legs, which were bare under the short skirt I wore. I wondered if I could seduce him. I smiled an evil smile as I put said plan into action.

I scooted back on the countertop and lifted my right leg so my foot rested flat against the cool marble and I was exposed to his eyes. I wore a little red thong, but I pulled it aside and touched myself. My fingers traced the delicate folds of my core and I was wet already. I held my panties to one side with my left hand while my right hand explored. I flicked and rubbed and circled myself, moaning from my own attentions.

"Mallory," Luke warned.

He didn't take his eyes off me, though.

I closed my eyes as I approached an orgasm, picturing Luke's hands on me, inside me. He yanked my hand away from my body and my eyes flew open. He knelt before me and pressed his tongue to me. He licked and sucked on my pink flesh until I was just about to come.

When he stepped away, I nearly pulled his head back until I realized he was standing before me, undoing his jeans. I licked my lips in eager anticipation of what was to come. He rubbed his rock-hard member, not that it needed the stimulation. He was ready. So was I. When he rubbed himself against my clit, I moaned. I needed him more than I needed anything in my life. He rolled on a condom that magically appeared.

I cried out when he entered me and he froze, only halfway in.

"Did I hurt you?" he whispered as if he was afraid of the answer.

I kissed his lips and smiled at him.

I answered him honestly. "Of course not. It hurts being away from you."

"Thank God."

He thrust the rest of the way into me and I was so full—full of Luke, full of life, full of _love_. And I had him to thank for giving me such wonderful fulfillment.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Luke

I was slumped over her body where she lay on the counter. My jeans were wrapped around my ankles and I was fully sated and exhausted. But I lifted myself off her limp body; she was as worn out as I.

"I guess you weren't the only one who learned a thing or two in college," I whispered against her ear as I got up.

She giggled as she rubbed her cheek against the marble countertop.

"Bathroom?"

She pointed in the general direction of the hallway adjacent to the living room and I took off.

When I returned, she was sitting up on the counter, her skirt properly adjusted and her hands folded demurely in her lap, as if I hadn't just rocked her world. I walked right up to her and kissed her pretty mouth. She sighed and moved to put her arms around me again. But I knew where that would lead.

"Let's talk," I suggested and helped her off the counter.

We sat on the couch and she tucked her body into mine. We were comfortable as we sat, and the silence wasn't as bad as it had been before.

When she hadn't answered my declarations of love, I immediately assumed the worst. But that kiss had broken the tension and it seemed to free her mind. Her love was all I needed in this life.

"So, can we kick your roommates out or should we just find our own place?" I asked her.

She turned to look at me, fear in her eyes. "You want to live here?" She sounded incredulous.

Isn't that what I'd said just a few minutes ago?

"Of course. I mean, it doesn't have to be _this_ apartment, although, let's be honest—this place is spectacular! I could see us living here for a while. Until we decide to buy a condo or something," I explained.

She just stared at me.

_"You want to live here_?" she whispered again.

I nodded. She shook her head.

"Mallory, it took you leaving me twice to realize I didn't want to spend the rest of my life without you. My truck is parked downstairs and it's loaded with all my stuff. I hope some of this furniture is yours because I left everything to Wolfe, who is taking over my apartment lease," I told her.

"But..." she trailed off, her eyes closing as she searched for the words. "I just got back from the leasing agent for this place. I took my name off the lease and I have twenty-four hours to get out." She laughed.

"So, we're homeless." I laughed along with her.

"Not exactly," she said slowly. She looked deep into my eyes. "I haven't sold the house yet."

"Your dad's house? I thought you wanted to live in Boston."

I didn't want her to put her dreams on hold for me.

"Yeah, well, it turns out I just wanted to figure out if I really belonged here. After the situation today, plus so much more, I think it's safe to say this isn't the place for me. But I had to make sure. Even when I got back here, I felt out of place. Casper is _home_."

I was happy to hear her say it, but I still worried about the small-town life not being enough for her. I opened my mouth to voice my fears, but she stopped me.

"It will all work out," she promised.

* * * * *

A few days later, we were back in Casper, living in her childhood home. We'd spent that entire night in Boston talking about our future, and we were both scared to death. But we were in it together. From there, we agreed to trust each other with our true thoughts, no matter what.

We met our group at The Landing for drinks to celebrate Mallory getting a job at the local bank. She didn't want all the fuss, but our friends were dying to know everything that went on while we were in Boston. Well, the ladies were. The guys just pounded me on the back and Baker whispered in my ear.

He smiled. "It all comes back to sex."

I laughed aloud as we grabbed our usual table, and everyone ordered a drink. I stuck to water and announced I would be the designated driver. Rainey still wouldn't drink alcohol, but she lifted her glass of cola to toast Mallory's success.

"To Mal's new job as junior bank manager!"

We all clinked glasses and I met Mallory's eyes over our glasses.

She winked at me.

**Be sure t** **o get all of Dawn's books!**

Available now!

Broken Promises

Broken Dreams

Broken Pieces

Broken Valentine

Crazy Dreams

Wild Dreams

About the Author

Dawn Kliest is a new adult author who began her writing journey in New England but moved south and promptly became a Southern Belle (or so she likes to think). Between a full-time job and writing to get those pesky voices out of her head, she's always on the go.
