Have you ever tried to sound cool and tough
but then people thought you were a jerk? It’s
really easy to mess up and appear as a jerk
when you are trying to get respect so this
video will go over 5 ways you can command
respect while expressing yourself in the best
way possible.
1. Continue speaking until the end of your
sentence. If you have something to say you
need to say it because your voice matters.
You don’t want to jump into a conversation
only to be cut off. If you get cut off too
often, people start thinking your opinions
don’t matter and they won’t have any respect
for you. You will appear as a pushover and
someone that can be walked over. The best
way to handle this is to continue speaking
even if you get cut off. Although this is
a very simple trick, there are many ways this
can go wrong which might make you appear as
a jerk. You don’t want to dominate the conversation
and not let anyone talk by going on a long
monologue. You also don’t want to start
yelling and getting emotional just because
someone tried to cut you off. Speak at a moderate
tone at a volume where everyone around you
can hear you. If someone does try to cut you
off, be sure to finish your sentence then
decide if it makes more sense to finish letting
your thoughts out or giving the other person
a chance to speak.
2. Try to find and emphasize your similarities
with the people you are speaking to. We all
like things we are familiar with and we especially
love it when we have common ground with the
people we are talking to. When you are speaking
to someone, you want to find shared common
ground by adding more information to your
introduction. Instead of saying just your
name, talk about some of your hobbies or something
interesting you did recently. If you don’t
feel like talking about those things, including
something like where you are from and what
college you went to can help. When you share
more information about yourself and the other
person has something in common with you like
maybe you are both from the same city or you
both have the same hobby, then the conversation
will flow easily and you can earn more respect
easily.
3. Keep good eye contact. You won’t be getting
any respect if you can’t look someone in
the eye while you talk to them. By keeping
good eye contact when you are speaking and
when you are listening, it shows the other
person you are serious about the conversation.
If your eyes are all over the place when you
are speaking, it signals to the other person
that you are not confident and uncomfortable.
If your eyes are all over the place when you
are listening, it tells the other person that
you are distracted and you don’t care too
much about what they are saying. In order
to have good eye contact, you don’t need
to stare into their soul the whole time. When
you get more used to keeping good eye contact,
you will find yourself breaking eye contact
every 10 or 15 seconds.
4. Improve your image. The way you look has
an impact on whether or not people will respect
you or not, especially if you are trying to
make a first impression. There’s something
called the halo effect. The halo effect is
when one trait of a person is used to make
an overall judgement about that person. It
is used to support rapid decisions by our
brain, even if those decisions are biased.
The halo effect is why we assume good things
about good looking people and assume bad things
about people who don’t look too good. You
don’t need to look like a supermodel to
command respect but you do need to look presentable.
There are a few basic things you can do to
improve your image. Make sure your hair isn’t
a mess and don’t hunch your back. You also
want to make sure the color coordination of
your outfit is on point. If you dress like
a clown you will be perceived as a clown.
5. Defend yourself verbally. As you get older,
you won’t be hearing offensive comments
like you are ugly that often but you will
start encountering backhanded compliments.
A backhanded compliment is when someone mixes
praise and criticism in a sentence. Sometimes
it is done out of ignorance but other times
it is done on purpose to be mean. When you
get insulted, you don’t want to act all
emotional. You want to de-escalate the situation
and show them you respect yourself. Consider
the other person’s intentions for insulting
you and then choose an appropriate response.
Here are 4 great responses you can use depending
on the situation. First off, if someone is
insulting you for attention, the best response
is to ignore it. Staying silent doesn’t
always mean you are getting pushed around.
If you know they want your attention but you
are not giving it to them, you are the one
with the power. Second, if someone gives you
a backhanded compliment out of ignorance,
simply saying thank you and moving on can
be a great defense. If someone is saying “I’m
glad you got a job in banking since that twitch
streaming stuff you did isn’t a real job”
you might be better off not getting into a
debate. Third, address the insult head on.
If the snarky comments continue, you need
to speak up about the hurtful comments. Let
that person know you don’t appreciate those
comments. Finally, if someone is insulting
you to be mean, keep your sense of humor.
Sometimes you shouldn’t take them too seriously.
Respond back with some humor to let that person
know those remarks don’t mean anything.
These tips are useful both in one on one conversations
and group conversations. As for the eye contact
tip, when you are in a group conversation,
you want to look at someone in the eye individually
when you are speaking and then move onto the
next person. This will make it feel like you
are truly talking to everyone.
Which method did you like the most? Leave
a comment below and check out the video on
the end screen about how you can use silence
to appear more powerful.
