Top of the morning to all you Minecrafters and Sam lovers alike! Which SHOULD be everybody.
Wh- What the hell is that sound?
WHAT THE HELL?!
WHO ARE YOU?! what is happening?! Sam! are those friends of yours?
Oh my god, oh my god, I need to trap you. I need to trap you. You're my new friends- trap you lovingly (of course)
I just don't want you to escape cuz you're my new best friends
What the frick man?
Who or what are these I want to get up I want to get up
Big boy want up
Okay, that's not helping
*imitates llama sound*
*laughing* I don't know what you are, but you're absolutely delightful!-
AHH I'M DROWNING!
Sam! Did you see our new friends?
Sam I'm actually really hungry and dying.
*imitates a llama again and laughs*
I want this! Yes, I want to see if I can shear them- wait the hell is this a spider eye?
EWww
Did I kill a spider and steal its eyeball?!
That's horrible. I feel like I'm the monster then at that point. Umm let's sleep first.
AHHhhhh
Lovely sleEEp
Whoa there's a dude with you!
Is he the one that's making all the noise? I thought it was just Apacas that showed up
*weird villager noise*
I didn't even know there was other... people in minecraft
Okay, don't worry. Don't worry guy
I'm g- I'm gonna give you something to stand on. I'm so glad I filled this in- Wait! Don- don't fall in the hole!
God da- *Interrupted by llama making a sound*
*mimics sound and laughs*
God damn it guys! Get over here!
Look there's ground you guys can stand here if you want. I'll build I'll build land for you.
yES!
Let's get that bread gamer!
So gOOd! okay now I'm a man on a mission
*Angry llama sounds*
I'm- all I'm doing is petting your alpaca, i'm sorry
OOOh a wandering trader!
Emeralds for-.... Emeralds?!
Sorry, I'm trying to
I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!  I'm sorry! I did- I didn't mean to do that
Well, I kind of did but I didn't know what I was doing
Hey he's spittin' in my face. Hey stop spittin' at me!
Hey! Look I'm sorry!
OWWWWWW
Uh Oh...
Oh god, he's not dead he came back out. Ok he's fine
*laughter*
Ohhh no now he's stuck under there
*More laughter as you can hear one of the llamas drowning...*
You know what, it's not my problem you're alpaca spit in my face I don't have a I don't have a shovel
Do I-? OH I do! I have one in my inventory what am I talkin' about?
Ok you guys are just going in circles!
Can you leave my land?... Can I kill him?
Should I kill him? I don't think I should kill him
I feel like if I get emeralds I kind of want them for myself though
It is the Emerald Isle I didn't even THINK about that!
Damn, man! You were- you come as an emerald trader asking for emeralds at the Emerald Isle. I think your other Alpaca is  dead..
whatever... I have minecraftin' to be doing man I have-
diamonds to be collecting and I know what to do now this time because I didn't realize that you could press a
Button to show how deep you are in the game and then I can go down and dig at the level where diamonds are
There supposed to be at like level 16 or something
I don't know.. People- people keep telling me things about the game and I'm like, uh huh! Sure! I'm going fishing
I need food for my long travels. Come here fish. I need your flesh
Thank you
What the-? Why are you out here? And who are you?
Go away. Everyone's mean
It's daytime you shouldn't be out here
You should be burning I was gonna say burning alive but you're zombies so you can't burn alive. You're already dead. haHAhaaaaa
I'm leaving I'm going this way. I don't know what I'm looking for
Probably some fish
This is a pond. It's like a little lake. It's not gonna be frish- fis-
*Terrifying and ominous noise*
*Lorry reversing beeping*
Back it on up there for a sec
*whispering* There's zombies under the ground
*zombie noise*
Where are they?
Whoa
Hello
There be tunnel down here! There's just a tiny pocket down here.
Oh that's not a tiny pocket
OH this goes deep.. AHH skelly mans! Skelly mans! No, no, no. No, I hate them. I hate them. They're the worst.
They're the worst ones. go go get out of here!
He'll kill you if you're not careful
Haha.. bYE!
I'm feeling very uncomfortable with these guys just outside my window now
Are you- Are you hackin' up loogies?!
That's disgusting man. there's children here. there's children watching. Um,....
*traveler "talks" and Jack mimics the sound*
Yeah, exactly. I kinda wanna put some glass on my roof
What do you guys think about that? Do you guys think that's a good idea?
*more taveller noises*
Thank you! Let's get rid of some of this
I'm gonna make a nice skylight
Cuz I've been working very hard in Minecraft and I think I feel like I deserve nice things
Does this even work?
Wait... Can I-?
Do I have to put regular blocks up and not glass panes cuz I can't put them sideways?
*sigh*
I thought I could put them flat
I didn't think about that. This is what it's all about now gamers. It's time to go super deep
into the world of Minecraft!
This is mining. This is podracing. Got it. I got it
I got to keep it bright though, cuz people like to come in and scare me. If I get some diamonds
I'm looking- I'm making a diamond pickaxe immediately because people said when I was in the lava pit
Turning the lava with the water makes obsidian and then when obsidian you can craft a nether portal
These are all real words that are coming out of my mouth that I don't know what they mean yet
But diamond pickaxe is the ultimate gamer
You can get a diamond pickaxe in Minecraft then no one can make fun of you for the rest of your life
Because you've reached peak humanity then at that point. *gasp* I hear running water! the babbling brooks of Ireland
Yes, ooh and I hear lava
*singing* This looks promising this looks promising promising promising promising promising
OH- You want to tussle with the Irish muscle? bring it bitch!
You can't even handle me at my best Minecraft
If you can't handle me at my Minecraft, then don't even bother me at my Fortnite!
Epic! it's gonna be a long day
Gonna be long day of searching for diamonds
My grandpapa told me to come down into these mines and search for diamonds every day
Haven't found any in years. Haven't seen a diamond in years. I'm excited to see his face again
I hope- please let me find diamonds. I've been a good boy
What is this? what are am I getting rid of? kelp, sure let's get rid of kelp
Nope get rid of the freaking cobblestone man redstone dust
And redstone like really important. I've heard people talk about redstone generators. I
And I always pretend to know what they're talking about oh
Oh, oh lava is that just gonna keep coming. Oh, uh
Mr. Lava
could you not
Thank you. all this redstone, dude. I'm rich. I'm rich and red
How much do I have now
51!
Dude, that's a whole heckin' lotta redstone.
I don't know what it does yet, but I'm excited. I know that I'm gonna have some epic moments
Redstone is used to power things. Okay. Well, whoa God. Oh god. I'm gonna drown!
I didn't know there's water here!
Okay, we gotta put that up again
Oh God
Okay, that was scary, but we made it through gamers!
We're still alive still craftin' and mining. Oh god
Oh god!! (x6)
I don't know if we should be here.
Oh look there's some obsidian AAAaA!
I do NOT want to get caught in that
I'd very much not like to
Wait, so are diamonds above or below?
Maybe they're below. Maybe I still have to go lower.
...Did I actually hit bedrock? Oh god
weLP
I dunno what to do now
Aw crap
Okay, I gotta make a pit stop back up top
I ran out of pickaxe
THERE ARE SKELETONS ON MY ROOF!
How did he get up there, how did you get here?
GO INSIDE GO INSIDE GO INSIDE
You deal with them!
All I want to do is Minecraft
All I want to do is mine!
Sir?
Imma ask you to kindly leave
You've been here too long, you're taking up space, you're not even paying rent
So, please just take your alpacas and go
Don't you dare eat any of my crops!
crap
These are my crops, these are for me and Sam
These are not for you and your alpaca twins!
You're not runnin a pack of bastards
Sam. I think we're gonna need some better defenses around our place. What do you think?
I think we're gonna need some sort of like barricade.
People like him
just gonna be showing up all the time
I'm sorry. I don't I don't want to be rude or anything, but I don't know who you are
So I'm just going to put up a little perimeter
So I don't have to deal with people. There we go
Nice little wall. I mean it's not very high. It's not gonna keep much people out right now, but
my wall is going to be stronger than anybody's
My wall is gonna be the biggest wall
I'm starting to sound like Trump, aren't I?
Please no politics! Minecraft fun!
Minecraft fun not game about...
...those things
Um, okay. Let me build you up a little more
Here we go
Yes, this is looking like a great little wall. Look at my little castle!
This is all you need in life gamers
A castle to call your own. A castle to call home.
Oh crap you're still on my- oh wait
I wanted to get rid of you, but I trapped you inside
There you go
Are you trying to steal my boat? He's trying to steal my boat!
YAH!!!!
Oh God his alpacas are spitting at me
Okay. Okay. Okay, Sam Sam got in the boat
I see I see. I'm sorry. I'm sorry
Oooh that felt way worse than it should have
That's just - it should have felt fun
Oh God.
Well...
We're murderers Sam
Well I am. You're just a boat willing boat dog
Sam, back inside. Sam? Get in here
Most people go fishing with a rod and some bait. Irish people go fishing
with their baRE HanDS!
We like to get stuck in we like to feel like...
bears, searching for salmon at a river!
Looks like mate's back on the menu, boys!
Sam
Okay, you've thought about what you did? Okay.
Now you can roam around all you want good boy
Just don't don't let it happen again. Okay, like
It's not it's not that you did bad. It's just that I got worried. I got scared for you
You're a good boy, and I want you to remember that
Okay, get down off the furnace or you're gonna burn your paws
Is that a diamond!?
DIMOND!
DIMOND! I found it! YES
Boom baby expert Minecrafter!
Now I can - I can sit at the big boy table!
Okay, I gotta be careful though cuz if - if there's lava then it will take all of my diamond
Yes!
Ooh I'm gonna make the -
Imma bust the fattest diamond nut!
How many do I have? 4.
4 diamonds! Wow
These excellent swells of music
Yes
Yes
Okay, I'm just gonna block these off because I get confused as to where the hell I'm going
So to make it easier for us - for us uhh
uhh I was gonna say small brain
No, no, no, no small brain. No, biG BRAIn!
Big brain me!!
I got the diamonds! I'm the biggest brain!
No one has ever gotten diamonds in Minecraft before.
Ever. Can you believe? It's a world first and you're here to witness it!
Sam! We did it!
Oh look at you, such a cute boy.
Okay, get off, your ass -
- asshole is gonna be burned at this point.
Alright diamond diamond DIAMOND PICKAXE!
Oooh hellll yeaah!
Can I get any other diamond things? Diamond shovel
What do I look like, some kind of idiot?
Who - pffffffffft
Who'd use a diamond shovel ha ha ha
That's silly!
Okay get rid of this stuff cuz I don't need it.
I put my - put my other diamond in here
Keep it safe. Keep it secret.
Okay, how do I get this now without dying or losing it?
Okay, okay did I just okay
Just flooded the whole chain...
Oh my god this takes ages, what's that sound?
Why does it keep doing that?
Yes! Ice bucket challenge?
What? Hahaha
We got the ice bucket challenge guys, ah
This is all - this is all used to be lavas
This is all used to be Minecraft. So now it's mine!
Craft?
'Kay I don't know how many of these I need.
I needed these to make what? A Nether portal?
This pickaxing is slow because it's in the water
And that doesn't even make any sense
Okay. Be careful
Be careful. Jack. Oh boy. There's lava right next to you that burns!
This takes freaking forever, man!
Alright, let's head back. Surely 15 is enough
I almost flooded my entire chamber hehe
See if this is real life now the water would've kept going
Cover up that hole
And maybe a little bit of this one.
It just doesn't look good!
It's the only reason.
I like things to be nice and smooth and symmetrical and cool
Look at at my diamond pickaxe, dude!
I can't believe I have one!
That's so awesome diamond pickaxe is the biggest meme that's always in Minecraft
Every time! People always talk about diamond pickaxes
and now we have one!
I've only ever heard legends, but they exist!
You can have one too!
Is it night time? Oh god
I gotta get back! SAM!
I'm coming home Sam!
Okay, let me just do this first
It's never too late to garden. It's never too late to farm.
Hi, Sam. I'm back
Sam I don't know what I'm making
For - uh well I will make a bread first
Obsidian and diamond!
What do I do with it?
*ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ Intermission ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ*
I have to make like a - a portal
Is that it?
ow
But that's not doing anything?
We need something else, I don't know I'm - I've never played Minecraft!
I don't know what I'm -
(ﾟдﾟ；)
I thought that was - that was my portal firing up
I seriously want to know what all those sounds are all the time
Is it just like random sounds to make you scared? Oh that looks so terrifying over there
Wait, hold on
Portals are one thing but my garden really needs tending to
Once a frame is constructed, It is activated by fire placed inside the frame...?
What?
Flint and steel. That can make fire!
Flint and steel make fire inside!
I don't - how do I use this thing though?
I did it!
Oh, oh, it's a missile fire. Okay. Ah
Whoa. Oh
You're scary, what does this do?
Imma eat some bread before I go in
What?
Am I supposed to stay in it? Oh god. Oh god. Oh god, this is freaky!!
What does it do?
Oh Jesus
Oh God, where the hell am I?!
Look at all those enemies!
Don't mind me!
I'm just passing through
Oh God oh God, this place is fucking terrifying.
Oh Jesus!...
I should not be here yet. Should I?
I - Are those all other people?
I really don't think I should be here.
I really don't think I should be here. There's no place like home
What are these?
Okay, no one's attacking me
Are these specialized things for this area? Probably
OooooOOooOo
Hi! Please don't destroy my portal and strand me here
Okay, just get stuff and get out
Get it get it and get out, get it and get out aahah
Alright!
Okay, okay okay.
What did I get? Nether quartz?
I've never even heard of that before!
That was wild! Dude, Minecraft is awesome!
Holy shit!
Oh Sam!
Sam you'll never guess where I was
Sam, I went into this place called the Ne - wait you can stand up now
I went to this place called the Nether
And then there was all these weird freaks in there and then I came back!
Sam!
An enchanting table
Four obsidian, two diamonds, and a book...
Can I enchant weapons?
I think people said I could
Oh that'll be so awesome
Okay, I think that's enough Minecrafting for today.
That was terrifying, Sam.
Look at it. Just sitting out there. Big scary portal!
It's kind of cool though when you think about it.
Sam, you're my best friend
Sam I'm gonna take you on an adventure next time.
You've been just stuck inside all this time and I feel bad for you - do you want bread?
Sam - Sam, you don't eat bread?
Sam want meat
I'm so glad I'm playing this. I'm so glad people like Minecraft
I'm so glad that this is the thing that's happening in our lives.
Oh man what a time to be alive!!
